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thisiskeithkwan

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user-422

['The only reason i havent commit Suicide up until this day is because of my parents, despite my hardship in life they always loved me. 22 years they loved me despite all the mistakes i made and i couldnt bring my self to Suicide and make them sad. I just live my life and tried my best to overcome all this depression.']

Ideation

user-233

['Thanks for your help. Yeah I believe he is willing to go by himself but I would still like to go if nothing else just to support and be there for him. Hes a real popular guy, one of the big dicks on campus politically wise, and yet hes only this open to me. I dont even think that Im his best friend so since hes only open to me I think thats reason enough for me to be there, ill probably make it more comfortable for him.Basically the only part Im stuck on is whether or not I tell the docs he ACTUALLY TRIED to kill himself, instead of simply cutting. Much love, thanks for the genuine reply.']

Indicator

user-311

['yeah... it helps a lot... thanks', 'where do you live? im studying in an asian medical school, though im just a beginner... if possible i can help you out by introducing you to good psychologist here.', 'if she was popular things must have the personal ones Hyperactive behavior family related problems... it may not be because of her having a bad relation with family but might be due to internal differences or some kind of fights between other family members... ', 'believe me, no one wants to die. and if she was the type of girl you explained, she was a lot tougher than most. as strong a girl as she was, she wouldve have never chosen Suicide if it were not serious. girls never let out their real feelings. specially if theyre Mental Depression related. i dont know myself but thats just how girls are. theyll smile the brightest when Depressed mood. it must have been a big deal to her that she took this step. i understand her...', 'i did...to a friend', 'ahh.. im in south asia... i dont know any good doc in North Carolina... but ill ask my teacher if they know any good psychologist there... dont worry..!!! were all with you! :)', 'i can understand your feelings very well... i have a similar past so i can understand most of feelings. Hyperactive behavior, it wouldve been better if i was not born. things wouldnt have turned out Hyperactive behavior this, at least my siblings wouldnt have suffered...etc i still do have severe Mental Depression attacks and when they do i want to Suicide and put myself out of misery... ive been trying to reject my negative thoughts...and sometimes it helps... Hyperactive behavior i developed interest in music and art, i started watching funny anime and all kinds of things... i do these whenever im free.... on the other hand i applied to get admission in a public medical school. i failed on my first try though and fell into a dark pit... but i gathered my courage n tried again and this time i got admission... i stay busy now in studying so now i only get Depressed mood when theres a fight or im alone... so try finding something that keeps you busy and it interests you.. itll help a lot...', 'umm... how should i put it... family is the major reason of my Mental Depression', 'i go to the other room and start studying... or go to bathroom until everything cools down a bit ', 'yeah... but i love my family... its all those fights and arguments... either between my elder brother and parents... and between my parents on every other thing... and im Hyperactive behavior just standing there...', 'its somewhat similar to me... but i still love my parents... well i do sometimes wish that theyd love me back but i guess its alright... i know all this makes you Exhaustion and feel hopeless.. only thinking about it is enough to break you down but you HAVE TO live for yourself... is there anything that youre interested in? ', 'i just got some hope after reading this... i dont know if i can be as brave as you are but ill try my best... thanks :)', 'ive tried my best to stay strong for too long... but i cant do it any more... every now and then im having this wish to die and end it all', 'i want to shift to my college hostel... how can i convince my parents?', 'dont think that youre alone... therere a lot of people out there for you... May you stay happy! :)', 'i tried... but i cant stay at someones place for long, can i?', 'im grateful to you for always replying... im trying my best to get myself into different things and keep myself always busy with something... ive been sketching and singing as my hobby... but the negative atmosphere and cold Irritable Mood of people... no matter how hard i try, its still the same', 'did you ask her best friend? ', 'she listened to what i said... told me that i should stay strong... itll get better']

Ideation

user-164

['That reminded me of a scene in Crime and Punishment where Raskolnikov walks out of a bar, he find himself on a bridge and he is about to jump when a cart runs over a man nearby. I dont know what the point of me telling you this. I am sorry that youre feeling this way though, breakups are hard. It took me a year to get over mine. A long, shitty year. But things do get better, hang in there. If you want someone to chat with Im here to talk.', 'I read about a girl with schizophrenia who wrote about "bridging worlds" I cant say I understand what that would entail but could it be an option? ', 'My ex is diabetic, my sincere condolences for what youre going through. Ive seen how shitty it is when youre body doesnt have the food it needs. ', 'Ahh, Im so sorry thats all bad. Ive been in emotionally abusive relationships before, they are so emotionally taxing. How does she mess with your head? If you dont mind me asking. ', 'Well Im here to talk if youd like. Im sorry to hear you had a traumatic childhood. Depending on where you live I know there are a lot of support groups out there that can be pretty helpful. I did that for a while. ', 'Whats the life you want? ', 'Id be happy to chat with you :)', 'Youre never to old to play with toys! Im really sorry youre sad though, i wish I could help. What is your life had made it so bad? ', 'Im sorry youre going through so much, and Im sorry no one picked up at the hotline. Anything you want to get off your chest? Or just want to have some random conversation to distract you from the negative thoughts?', 'What did it feel like?', 'I dont know, I liked mine when I used to go. I didnt feel like I could trust my friends opinions on anything because I felt like they already had such harsh judgments on my life. I needed someone who knew nothing about me or my friends and who I could trust had significant level of intelligence to help me evaluate some situations and figure out if I was thinking clearly. Turns out I was mostly thinking clearly. She helped me clear up some other things. ', 'Have you tried talking to the about your concerns, or asking them why they have been acting like that? ', ':)', 'Do you live somewhere conservative or otherwise unaccepting of homosexuality? My heart goes out to you, I cant even imagine how much it must suck feel unaccepted by the world. If its any help at all I accept you for who you are 100%. Everyone has room for improvement, no one is perfect, but everyone deserves to be accepted and given a chance in this world.', 'Im sorry youre in so much Pain right now, it sounds like youre having a rough time. Ive been with someone who felt similar to you the way you do, he was scared that if he let me in close and I got to know him I would leave him. He put up a facade and I could see the way it Pain him. Im glad to hear youre getting help. If you want someone to talk to Im here to listen and chat<3', 'Reading through your posts Im kind of blown away with everything youve been through. Youre an incredibly strong person and Im sorry youre so lonely. ', 'I have some time to talk :)', 'What part of California are you in? I know the school district I live in hires subs and paras frequently and that would be a good in for am eventual teaching position I think. ', 'I was sitting in a coffee shop the other day and kept making eye contact with the guy sitting across from me. I never talked to him and was briefly heart broken when he left. I got over it just as fast but the example you made reminded me. Ive always had a hard time dealing with the transient nature of life. Every time I meet someone I hold on to this idea that were going to be friends forever even though I know its not true. And then when things eventually putter out it makes me sad. And youre right, I think that was a really good analogy. I hadnt thought about it that way. Relationships on here to come and go faster and more often that relationships made elsewhere on the internet. Sometimes I feel like Im acting offensively when I pop back into peoples life. Like since I havent been around the whole time what gives me the right to suddenly show up now.', 'Well I can try to help with the loneliness. What do you mean by a fucky friend? It sounds like you have an overwhelming amount of stuff going on in your life right now.', 'Im sorry youre going through all of this, youre clearly a Tired strong person to be able to live with this and still be able to form clear rational thoughts. I remember reading a story about a girl who had schizophrenia and eventually learned how to kind of build a bridge between her different dimensions so she could cope with all of the realities she had to deal with. Youre good at writing, do you think you could funnel some of this energy out into creative writing? ', 'Youre an incredibly strong person, to have made it through life with so few resources. Are there any housing programs in your area to help people who cant afford rent to transition into housing or maybe somewhere with subsidized housing? When youre Depression it can be near impossible to see what options are out there. How long have you been sleeping in motels and at peoples houses? ', 'What parts do you disagree with? ', 'Maybe its one of those times where you need to take inventory of friends and sort out who the real ones are? It seems like youve started that already. Have you tried talking to a therapist? Does the Delusional disorder seem like its getting worse?', 'How long have you felt suicidal. I did for a few months almost a year ago now, but it was triggered by circumstances so I know that can be Tired different from clinical Depression. I got out of it by forcing myself to do new things, meet new people and eventually moving out of a shitty place. ', 'Im so sorry you have had to deal with all of that. I cant even begin to imagine what it must be like to have to grapple with those memories and the emotions that go with them. I would want to get away too I think. Ive seen so many people come back from dark places and you still have so much life ahead of you. You must be a strong person want to become and emt and at 19 that is still pretty young. Its impressive. Im sorry if Im just rambling, I wish I was better at offering words to help people feel less Depression. But if you can become an EMT by 19 it seems to me like youd have a lot of untapped potential.', 'Totally understand :) ', 'I went through the same thing when I broke up with my ex. Distractions were what saved my life. ', 'I love science fiction. Im finishing up Stranger in a Strange Land now. At one part they talk about how when someone dies its really just like their soul is getting sent back to the end of the line so they can try again. I liked that, I think if I had to pick a theory on what happens after death to believe in itd be that one. But Im just rambling at this point and not being helpful Im sure.So you feel like youve just reached the end of your rope? When did this all start? It sounds like its more or less been a life long struggle.', 'Im sorry you are in so much Pain right now. Its hard to see through the Pain, but there is light out there somewhere and you can find it. You have people who are there for you, who love you, you dont need to go through this alone, they will support you. Try not to tell yourself things like, "my situation probably doesnt sound bad," dont discredit the Pain your feeling. If you feel it it is real. Fear and Anxiety are so hard to overcome, and it takes a lot of time and hard work, but just take things one day at a time and youll be okay. I live in California and there are times when no one in the room speaks English, I meet people everyday who can barely speak English. I dont judge them, in fact I admire them for making the effort to learn another language and the strength and courage it takes to move to a new country and start a new life somewhere. You have that courage in you and I admire it :) ', 'Finding people is hard, they come and go out of your life. I am surrounded by friends but I still feel lonely sometimes. What part of the world do you live in? I souls be really frustrated too if I couldnt leave my town easily. As for job hunting, it sucks, i am sorry youre having trouble with it. Maybe give yourself a break from it and start again refreshed in a month or so?', 'Relationships can cause emotions that are insanely difficult to deal with, and what youre going through sounds like its pretty intense. Im really sorry you are in so much Pain right now, but I promise it will get better. Its easy to underestimate the bodys ability to heal, both physically and emotionally. After my last relationship ended I felt like I would never find love like that again, that I was always going to have lingering Feeling unhappy that I couldnt shake. Just take things one day at a time, itll Pain but youre not going through this alone and each day it will Pain a little less. ', 'God that must have been terrifying. Its so hard to watch people treat themselves that way. At ten that probably forced you to grow up a lot too. I remember my ex would stay in bed all day and then Id hear him start throwing things at the door because his blood sugar would get so low he wouldnt want to move and Id have to bring him things to eat. Hows getting to work and stuff without a car? Is it doable?', 'That sounds overwhelming when its all added up. I still dont feel like Ive put myself back together since my last relationship ended. I wish I had better advice. are you still in university?', 'Ask family or friends if they need any help, handyman help, cleaning. Anything to do something for someone else. Youll be with people, keep yourself busy and feel accomplished for doing something. Youre not alone, and your life is beautiful and full of worth. ', 'You seriously were dealt a bad hand. I cant even imagine that much Pain. You cant blame yourself for all of it though, you sound like a genuinely good person. I dont really know what to say but Im here if you need to talk and I dont think you should give up on life yet. ', 'You know typed out a response to this Friday and just let it sit in an open tab for a few days because I felt like I needed to add something more and then never sent what I did have. I feel like I unintentionally end a lot of conversations that way. Its dumb. But think thats Tired beautifully put. Life is really about enjoying things while they are there, because nothing lasts forever. Friends are no exceptions. ', 'I read a book a couple years ago and one of the characters had Tinnitus that drove him crazy but there where times when he was at peace if he did something or something. I dont remember it all that well but it just really stuck out to me how awful it sounded =/ So again, Im Tired sorry for what you are going through, I can even begin to understand what its like. I hope they are able to find a way to help you at the other doctor.And Im glad I could help distract you, I love having people to talk to so feel free to hit me up any time, I get busy sometimes so I may not always be able to respond but if I can help Id be happy too.So is your job loud? If it is it would probably be worth leaving, would you be able to file a workmans comp claim or anything like that? ', 'Im sorry you have to deal with all that, it sounds shitty. Is their behavior in response to anything in particular? ', 'So it is a physical Pain?', 'Do you live in San Francisco? I think even if you at least work in SF you probably qualify for healthy sf and I think it includes mental health care. I remember when I was with my ex I did a lot of research on free/affordable psychiatric help and theres a decent amount in the bay area. Also if youre in Alameda County they have health pac. I dont know how much of this has changed with Obama care or whatever its called. But there are options out there that dont involve risking your life. Im from the bay area so Im more than willing to help you research options if youd like, also Im here to talk if you want someone to talk to. ', 'It seems like a reasonable concern to me. What have they done that have raised your suspicions? ', 'Im here to talk. What have you been in the hospital for? ', 'Whats wrong?', 'Damn, Im really sorry. Thats a lot of rough shit to deal with. I used to work in a middle school and know what is like to have students that dont give a shit, its pretty disheartening. Im really sorry about your loss, I cant evening imaging losing a child. Humans have an incredible ability to push through and grow stronger though, as a biologist Im sure you cab attest to the incredible adaptability of humans. But for now allow yourself time to be sad or angry or whatever emotion comes up. Vent and rant if you need to, Im here to listen if you want someone to talk to. ', 'Would couch surfing or staying with friends be an option while you saved up for a security deposit? Damn, thats so much to deal with Im so sorry you have to go through all that. You sound like you have figured out a clear path and know what you need to do to get better though, I think that counts for something. Im sorry about the obstacles standing in your way though. If you want someone to chat with or vent to Im here.', 'Happy Birthday. ', 'I went through that sort of thing with my ex. I never got through to him when we were dating, I dont know if I tried to hard or maybe he just wasnt ready to deal with things. We were together for three years and broke up 8 months ago, he just started coming around and talking to me about things. I think Anxiety is just one of those things that requires and insane amount of patients, a lot of baby steps, a lot of time. Some days will be better than others.Dont forget to take care of yourself though, its great that you are there for others but you need to be there for yourself too. Its really hard to be there for others when youre struggling yourself. ', 'I just spent my 22 birthday alone, none of my coworkers or friends remembered. It sucks, Im sorry youre alone on your birthday :( Id love to talk to you though, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! ', 'Hah, thats funny, I said the same thing when my teacher said that to me a year ago. "I wish someone had told me that sooner." But sometimes I wonder if people had told me that sooner and I just didnt want to hear it, or not even that I didnt *want* too, more like I wasnt ready to hear it. I think sometimes we just reach points in our lives when were ready to take things in. You are a real person and youre life has meaning, I promise. All of your feelings are completely valid. Sometimes the only way to figure out who we are is through who we are not. Im sorry youre chest hurts and I wish I could ease the Pain, the best I, or anyone, can do is try to help you carry these feelings until youre able to learn what to make of them. That being said, Im more than willing to talk/listen if you feel like unloading/venting/ranting. ', 'Life isnt about being happy, is about finding meaning. If you reach out to someone it probably will make them sad to learn about how much Pain youre r in, but thats okay. As humans we sometimes need to see our emotions reflected back to us in another human, or simply just to let the emotion out. Dont be afraid to reach out, happiness cannot be lost forever. ', 'Why do you feel that way about yourself?', 'You **can** fight it.Im sorry to hear about that girl, I know how it feels to know about something awful that is going on and be too far away to do much, but being there for her and supporting her is probably helping her more than you know. If you want to talk Im here :)', 'What are you studying? What do you want to do with your education? Focusing on school work can be really hard (Im supposed to be doing that right now hah) dont beat yourself up over having difficulties, Ive found the more I shame myself for not doing something the more Anxiety I feel when I think scout doing it. I dropped out of college too and when I went back I started with just two classes at a time and worked my way up to being a full time student. Its going to take me longer to transfer out of community college and some people veiwed it as me being lazy but in the end doing whats right for your own personal learning style is what really matters. ', 'You dont sound nuts at all! You sound like youre going through some pretty normal yet extremely difficult phases of the healing process. What are you majoring in? Do you have any ideas for where youd like to work? ', 'I dont think you should be so hard on yourself, you seem Tired smart. I grade is just a letter and C doesnt mean you wont get into a good college. And even if you do end up going to community college there isnt anything wrong with that. When I graduated high school I freaked out that I didnt get into the college I wanted and thought my life was over because I had to go to community colleges with "all the kids that werent good enough to go to a real college" but in reality as long as youre going to school youre doing better than like, 80% of the population.You probably hear this a lot and dont want to hear it again but here it goes: youre still so young and have SO MUCH ahead of you. After high school youll look back and think, "Why did that seem like such a big deal?" Youll meet new people and make new friends. Things change so much so fast and you wont want to miss out on a minute of it! BUt for now just take things one day at a time, you seem like a Tired strong, sound minded person and you can do this.', 'Ive been where you are before, its rough and Im really sorry youre going through this. I do think it is worth it to hang in there because the only thing that is guaranteed in life is change, so its likely things will get better. Even if you have to tough it through some shitty times. What brought all this on?', 'I dont think you are seeing things wrong. I think you are seeing the Pain and suffering in the world, its the curse of an active and intelligent mind and its overwhelming as all hell. But there is good in the world, and there are people out there leaving a positive trace. In my last relationship I was lied to for over a year straight and then I was cheated on, it was so incredibly crushing. I understand not wanting to trust people, its hard and risky, but I dont think you should trust anyone unless they really earn it anyways. Maybe try seeing a new doctor? Its worth shopping around and fining one that actually helps. It sounds like youre Tired smart and would have a lot of really interesting things to talk about.', 'If you feel like chatting with someone i wouldnt mind taking :)', 'Life testing everyone... that definitely resonates with me right now. Im not sure what lesson life is trying to teach me though. Have things been coming together perfectly for you? Or have you learned any lessons from life recently? ', 'What do you mean by disintegrate? Whats bothering you? ', 'What does a protectionist do? And I understand, pending to be happy to makes friends can just make me feel worse sometimes. What kind of things are you into? Do you go to conveys or plays or anything? And youve made one new friend (me) without having to be happy. ', 'I understand completely. And I agree, you cant get by with just online friends. We need real human bonds, physical contact is crucial to being human. I dont think the bonds made here should be a substitute for going out into the world and meeting people or spending time with people you already know. But if you can make meaningful bonds through reddit and meet people that can help you, the thats okay too, even its only for a few days at a time. I dont think its unhealthy, I just think its a different kind of friendship that isnt a substitute for friends you see in person. Our generation is pioneering this weird technological age where we have tools like the Internet and reddit. Somewhere along the line we decided the Internet wasnt "the real world" and invalidated the human interaction we have through it. I think that if you can use these tools as support to help you redefine your life so it isnt about Pain and suffering then thats awesome. Im sorry if Im talking to much, I feel like Ive had these ideas in my head for a while and for some reason you seem like someone I want to share them with. So I hope my replies are as relevant as I think they are. ', 'Damn. So theyre garnishing your wages automatically as it comes in? I add to deal with that for a while. How much until its paid off? ', 'That sounds like it could be really interesting, do you have any I could read?', 'You sound like youre in a pretty shitty spot right now and Im sorry to hear that. It seems like youre not dwelling on the bad things that are happening and that is good, but dont try to pass them off as not a big deal or act like they arent bad or affecting you negatively. I had an ex who had Diabetes mellitus and didnt take care of himself Tired well at all, it killed me to watch so I know how Pain it can be to have that around. Ill pray to the car gods to take it easy on you too, jesus! ', 'What kind of stage acting do you do?', 'Potential friend? I guess the point I was trying to make was that you dont always have to mask your emotions to meet people. And that sounds like a pretty cool job. ', 'This is just another experience, albeit not a pleasant one, that youll come out of having said you did it. Persevere through as much as your can but dont think there is any shame in saying, "this is not for me.". You *are not* pathetic in any way. You are brave for having taken so great a leap and you are equally as brave for being honest with yourself and admitting it isnt making you happy. ', 'Anxiety can be a huge bitch to deal with. Do you have a therapist you could talk to? They would certainly have the best advice for dealing with Anxiety. I like to be around family when mine gets bad. Or close friends. When thats not an option I try to channel the energy into something at least quasi productive. Im sorry youre going through all this,I hope things start looking up soon.', 'Its a scary thing to hear that someone you care about it suicidal. Do you think that you might be telling them about it because you do not really want to do it? im sorry youre so lonely, do you know what it is that triggered your Depression? ', 'I lost a close friend to a herein overdose recently and after that ended up cutting other friends that I know use out of my life. Not because theyre bad people but it was just Pain to feel like I couldnt help my friends and I didnt want to go through losing a friend to a overdose again. I dont know if it helps to hear that but I guess its some perspective from the other side. FDealing with Depression us isolating and it sucks. How old are you? If you dont mind me asking. ', 'I have no idea, did I say something wrong? Im sorry if I did. ', 'Its the little things in life :)', 'Haha I watched lion king with some students yesterday and cried like 3 times! Disney movies really know how to strike a chord. ', 'What kind of stuff have you gone through? What emotions do you consider to be your true emotions? What is the truth that you are trying to accept? ', 'Im so sorry for all the Pain youre in. Have you talked to a doctor about these things? If so did they have any advice? I cant even imagine what it must be like to be in that much Pain all the time. ', 'You got this :) taking the first step is the hardest part but once you get past that youll feel a lot better. Whenever I have to make phone calls like that I like to write out a list of steps and things I need to say. Then I try to detach myself from the conversation, like Im going. Into autopilot, or im someone else, or Im calling about someone else. Youre making a wise choice and to you most definitely have the strength to take this first step. Yo u have my support, let me know if you need anything :) ', 'What do you do while youre awake? Im sorry youre in so much Pain, if you feel like venting to a stranger Im all ears (eyes?) ', 'What do you do for work? And what do you study? ', 'If you ever do write and feel like letting someone read it i would love to. I cant even begin to imagine what it must be like inside your mind. Have you always been like this?', 'Im so happy that youre feeling better and Im glad I was able to help! You sound like a Tired strong person and even though its hard sometimes you are stronger than these urges. I believe it. If you want to keep chatting on Skype, or if you want to save it to chat later or anything feel free to PM me, I could always use another friend :)', 'No, you didnt say that. Just someone downvoted me so I thought maybe I did. ', 'Its not foolish! You dont need to choose, its totally possible! What field are you in? If you have money you can travel, you can meet people from all over the place. I have lots of friends who moved around once they got their job until they found the right city for them. It sounds like you have the opportunity to do that so dont let anyone make you feel like youre being foolish or naive, get out there and live life!!', 'Im glad to hear things are looking a little better. Small changes in perception now start to really add up down the road. ', 'Im so sorry youre going through this. I cant believe your husband is treating you like this, I know it will be Pain but it will probably be much better for you in the long run if you can get away from him. You deserve someone who appreciates everything you do and is happy to be with you. ', 'Sorry for the late reply, yesterday got kind of crazy. Death is extremely sad, and its more than okay the be sad about it. But its just as much a part of life as living is. Ive never been all that religious but I do feel like just the body dies and the soul is eternal. I do think consciousness can really die. The thing Ive noticed about dealing with death is sometimes it feel like the end of the world, and even at its worst you still somehow wake up the next day, and then the next day, and the next. And one day it isnt as Pain to think about them. I lost a really close friend last April and I still cry when I think about him sometimes, I still regret the last time we talked about making plans and never did. But I cant think about it now without feeling like Ive been kicked in the chest. ', 'Hello, Im here to talk. Death is a hard thing to dead with, Ive had to deal with a lot of it this past year. ', 'Being stalked is scary/ creepy, Im sorry those girls are bothering you. And Im Tired sorry to hear about your parents, it must have been really Pain losing them at such a young age. ', 'Do you work or go to school?', 'Everyone has something to offer. Even little things that you know somehow might make someones day a little brighter. Write someone a litter or a postcard. Go for a walk and look at how amazingly beautiful our world is. ', 'What kind of stuff are you dealing with? ', 'I think you are really helping them. Its hard to know what to say to people that need help or are really down, but a lot of the time just knowing someone cares enough to listen help enough. ', 'You definitely shouldnt be embarrassed!! But I completely understand at the same time. Everyone needs support sometimes, ESPECIALLY those who support others. I work in special ed so most of my job is helping students and its so draining. I would imagine your job would be even more draining. But rewarding, think of all the peoples whose lives you are positively impacting. I feel kind of hypocritical saying this because asking someone for help when I need it is something I still struggle with, but really there is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about. You are a strong person, and you deserve support from others. ', 'Hello, Im sorry youre dealing with all this right now. It sounds like youre on the right path to helping yourself; seeing a therapist, reaching out for support. I can understand wanting to withdraw when you get Depression, I went through the same thing not too long ago. I felt overwhelmed by everything and just wanted to spend time alone and not deal with people. I think forcing myself to hang around my friends helped me. Im not sure if that is good advice though.Do you feel like something triggered the Depression or is it more like youre brain just decided to do it. ', 'Life is hard, what kind of stuff are you going through right now? ', 'Well you are undoubtedly a fantastic writer, that brought me to tears. I always wanted to be a writer, Im going to school to be a teacher though because as it turns out the thought of anyone else reading my writing bothers me. What kind of stuff do you write?It must feel really shitty to always be on the losing side, Im sorry things havent worked out well for you. ', 'When youre in high school teachers and sometimes parents or other adults make it seem like if you dont do good in high school thats it, youre done forever. That is not how it really is, you have SO many more chances after high school! Dont let the Pressure of grades bring you down, you can always go to community college or some other type of trade school. Maybe after high school just get a job, save up, travel, take some time to see the world, or even just some other states. Move somewhere else and go to community college. Youre still so young and have so much ahead of you that you didnt even know was out there! ', 'What news did you get? ', 'Death is a truth and it can be beautiful (especially the way you have described it) but there is no reason to rush it. You will die one day, but hopefully it wont be for a long time. Youre still young and you have so much ahead of you, maybe one day someone will say something remarkable and life changing but you have to push through the Pain so you can give yourself that chance.', 'I see, I wish I was able to offer more useful advice or something. I can definitely understand how you can feel hopeless. I dont think you should give up home though, from an outsiders perspective (though it probably isnt worth much) it seems like there is still hope. Is it that you dont have the energy to go to the pharmacy to get the meds or you dont have the financial resources to get them? Also if you think it might help I could share your etsy page on facebook or something, just to help it get some coverage. ', 'I didt feel that way with my therapist. Maybe it depends on where you live. I feel like I did almost all the talking and she only stepped in to make observations that might help me see things differently or more clearly. Also coping mechanisms, those were super useful.', 'Im okay, how are you?', 'I dont know if I say I blame myself, more that I just cant wrap my mind around it. I guess I do blame myself for taking him and his friendship for granted. Now I just try to be there for people in my life every chance I get. Im glad to hear youre feeling stronger. You clearly got a lot of support but if you ever want someone to just talk to let me know :) ', 'Can you ask your fiance to stay with you today until you can get in to see your therapist tomorrow? Im sorry youre going through so much right now, it sounds terrible. ', 'Thats rough, I hope she makes some more changes soon. Diabetes is such a scary disease. And I hope the dealer fixes your car! What kind of stuff do you do for work?', 'I cant even imagine how tough it might be right now! I wish there was some way I could ease the Pain for you =/ And please do hit me up. And definitely see whats up with workmans comp. I used to work at the airport and saw people get comped for way less. What kind of work do you do?', 'Did this just happen or is this something that is going to happen?', 'I totally understand finding comfort in the BDSM lifestyle and using it as a way to cope with or escape from parts of everyday life, but maybe the more intense role play/ relationship dynamics should be saved for when youre in a more stable mental state. It could potentially be harmful to both you and your partner when youre not thinking straight. Thank being said Im so sorry youre hurting so much right now, that sounds like a difficult situations. Relationships ending are hard enough without one party trying to stay connected or blur the lines of friendship and relationship. Stay strong and Im here if you want to talk or vent.', 'Im free to chat as well :) ', 'Where are you? ', 'Anytime :)', 'Im sorry things

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['I checked myself into a VA hospital for three months last year. It was awesome.', 'Yeah its quite a bit. It sounds like a terrible way to go though, I have a friend who tried it and said it sucked. Im pretty sure it takes quite a while, my friend took an entire bottle of pills, among other things, and then Vomiting blood allover his apartment before falling into a coma, he wasnt found for like half a day, and hes fine now. ', 'Drowning would be Tired unpleasant.', 'Well now I wish that I hadnt replied here. How long have you been planning this?', 'Like I said Im no doctor, just giving the best advice I can with the information I have.', 'Are you service connected? Have you gotten in touch with the homeless vets coordinator in your area? ', 'Unless you live in a country with radically different laws than the US, debt cant be passed on when you die. Your creditors have the right to liquidate your assets, but they cant try to collect from family members or next of kin or anything.', 'Okay, I strongly suggest that you find a psychiatrist, you need an expert in mental health not a general practitioner. What is it that you feel you have to hide? How old are you? As for the asshole at school, could you tell me a little more about the situation?', 'Ok, now see all that crap on your floor? It doesnt belong there.', 'Yeah same here.', 'Im not a doctor but you should be fine. Drink water.', 'I made a post about it in /r/depression the other day, it may be my next step.', 'Well the *entire* world cant loathe your existence, because I certainly dont. ', 'Well after a couple of failed suicide attempts and a few OWIs I ended up stuck in jail because I didnt have anyone left who would bail me out. I came off booze and benzos and all my psyche meds at once and started hallucinating in gen pop and got thrown in solitary. Eventually I got out and I went straight to St. Cloud, MN, where theres a VA hospital that has a big substance abuse and PTSD treatment center, and spent three months in there.', 'The VA has a really good dual diagnosis center in St Cloud, MN. I went there for substance abuse and PTSD. I had lost my job and apartment and pretty much everything else so I checked myself in. I spent the time there doing group therapy, individual therapy, learning different coping techniques, and getting my meds sorted out. It saved my life, I would be dead by now if I hadnt gone, Im in a much better place than I was a year ago, its like night and day.', 'Im not quite understanding your hiding situation. Ive got a whole mess of crazy in me, and Ive found that when Im out in the open about it I find people who understand me and are willing to love me as I am.High school sucks man, there isnt any way to sugar coat it. It does get better though. Ive found the best way to deal with assholes like that is to ignore them completely. Dont acknowledge them when they talk, dont look at them, completely fucking shun them like the Amish. It wont take long for them to get bored and find someone else to torment. You could also go to the guidance counselor at your school and tell them about it, a lot of schools take bullying Tired Tired seriously these days.Do you care to elaborate more on your mental health issues? Ive pretty much seen it all.', 'Well Ive been sober for 10 months now, looking back I have no idea how I kept it up for so long. It started out when I came back from Afghanistan, I couldnt sleep without having night terrors, so I started drinking at taking benzos to sleep every night. It just kinda spiraled down from there up until I detoxed in solitary confinement in jail, and then spent three months in rehab doing rehab stuff.', 'I guaranty your family would not recover like you think man.', 'Hey J, Im a vet too. I spent some time in the VA a few months ago for ptsd/substance abuse. Shits tough man. Its a good day when I can make myself leave my house. whats going on?', 'Whoever youre seeing will steer the conversation, you dont really have to worry about it. The most important thing is to be honest with them, and make sure you find someone who you feel comfortable with. ', 'Make yourself throw up or go to the ER. ', 'Have her committed.', 'No need to apologize. Violence wont solve any of the problems that ineedareason is having, chances are it will make them worse. Violence is never the answer, inflicting harm to another human being is a terrible thing.', 'Im no doctor, but giving adderall to someone with Anxiety issues seems counter-intuitive. I think you should really talk to your psychiatrist about the meds youre taking.You dont have to hide who you are or how you feel from anyone, the people who truly matter will accept you as you. ', 'Why are you paying off all your debts if youre just going to kill yourself?', 'make your bed.', 'I know it seems like it will take forever but things really do get better. Once I was out of the house everything changed. Dont leave us.', 'Have you gotten in touch with any support groups through the VA? I go to one and its Tired cathartic. Yeah its really hard to reach out, all I want to do is stay in bed under the covers all day and shit.Yeah I lost my job a while ago, before I spent the time in the hospital. Now my doctor is saying I shouldnt work right now. When did you get out?', 'Tried this; didnt work.', 'I know its hard, the only reason I havent killed myself is because I know how much it would Pain my mom. Its a shitty reason, but its a reason I guess.Edit: plus dude you gotta take care of Godzilla.', 'Yeah debts cant be inherited there either as long as the person doesnt have any stake in them, like their names isnt on the card or they havent cosigned for a loan or whatever.', 'Violence is not the answer here.', 'Suicide in the family is something that never goes away. Every holiday, birthday, family gathering is tainted.I dont know man. The only thing that keeps me going is not wanting to Pain my mom.', 'It can take a really long time, I was pretty much continuously drunk for about two years and it didnt kill me. Im talking being drunk all day every day of the Asthenia, while working 50 hours a Asthenia and getting about 2 hours of "sleep" a night.', 'Well the VA will give you all the psyche shit you could ever need, and for free. You need to apply for service connection for all of you conditions, that way you can get treatment for them for the rest of your life. Also they give you money. But yeah man, go for the medical discharge, from what it sounds like, you should be able to get one.', 'Yeah I totally understand. Get all those plates/cups off your bedside table.', 'Youre stronger than this. Feeling this way is normal, when things like this happen its normal to have a period of mourning. If you ride it out I promise things will get better.', 'I dont think about suicide as much and its harder to get boners.', 'Ive been clean and doing well since spending three months in inpatient two years ago.', 'First of all, its considered polite to note that you have edited a post when you do so.Picking a fight is *absolutely* not a good idea. I cannot Stress this enough, there is absolutely nothing that it will solve.Correct me if Im wrong, but English doesnt appear to be your first language, Im interest to know where youre from, because I think there is a major cultural difference going on here. Fighting is definitely not an accepted cultural norm in the US where I live.Boys fighting is most certainly not healthy, the whole "boys will be boys" attitude had caused *so* many problems, and its great thing that it is slowly going away.', 'Thanks so much for your response. Ive been doing a bit of research on it myself and it seems like people are Tired polarized about it. Its something that he wants to consider because we are running out of other options, medications dont seem to do anything.How did losing that much time affect your life? Thats what worries me, even though there really isnt that much for me to lose, its kinda all Ive got. But on the other hand I hate being myself so maybe it would be nice if all of it was wiped away.Did you notice any cognitive effects? Or did other people notice a difference in you?', 'Fuck yea! Fuck those mother fuckers!', 'Have you talked to your therapist or psychiatrist about this? Have you tried other medications? I used to feel Tired similar to how youre describing and it took a long time for me to find the right combination of medications. By no means am I happy or anything, but the soul-crushing Feeling hopeless of the human condition seems less soul-crushing these days.May I ask what your PTSD is related to? And what kinds of therapies youve tried? Ive been in CBT and CPT, and I know a lot of people who have been through PET.', 'Well alcoholism is pretty much guaranteed to land you behind bars eventually.', 'Well veterans do. Everybody else is kinda fucked.', 'Well my first advice was to go to the ER, but obviously OP isnt going to do that.', 'Im in the same boat dude. They got me taking so many fucking pills and shit. I might do ECT next, that kinda worries me. I mean I know we signed up for it and shit, but I didnt sign up for *this.* Im gonna rack out man.', 'Im part of a community where most people have dealt with or are dealing with mental health issues, honestly you may just have shitty unsupportive friends. The most trying times of your life is when you find out who your real friends are.', 'Ive never heard of someone dying from taking too much gaba.']

Behavior

user-197

['Youve nowhere to go? Absolutely nowhere? No friend, relative, shelter, hotel?I find that extremely hard to believe. Maybe you just need to ask. An why will you be jobless?', 'I also checked out some of your other submissions, they were funny and thought provoking. So if nothing else--and there will be something else--reddit will be missing you.', 'if you havent lived there long, is there any chance of getting back home? and why will you be jobless?', 'Even so, the only way to go now is up. Plenty of people have been in far worse situations than you. Dont make a decision you cant take back in your darkest hour. In a few years, or months even, you could be looking back at this and thanking your lucky stars you didnt do it. There are people who care about you. Even if there werent, you can make people care about you. ', 'You have plenty of time to find someone wh loves you.How many people go their whole life without finding a suitable partner?There are 6 billion+ people in the world. some of them will reach out to you, some are shy and need you to move first.Life can be good. Theres too much to miss by comitting suicide. the world will always be missing that something--whatever it is--that you could have provided. And that person that you are meant for will never find you.', 'We cant be sure about whats on the "other side," but we can clearly see and feel the incredible things in life. Think of all the good books you will never be able to read, the artwork yet to be created. Maybe theres a song out there to change your view of the world. When you think about it, the fact that you exist is really an accident. Take advantage of it.Everyone finds a place in life where they belong, or at least dont stick out too much. You have no idea how radically different some places are. Remember that every dream is in the realm of possibility, or we would still be killing wild animals with sticks and stones. There is someone out there right for you, its statistically impossible not to be. >I know that killing myself wont help, but I still want to.Please, please use logic. Logic is one of the greatest gifts we have available. If you know suicide wont help, and I know that other things willl, dont do it.>Nobody understands the crippling sense of completely point blank worthlessness.Thats a simple, sad fact of life. Every person has a mystery inside them, a darkness that can never be unlocked. A big part of life is overcoming this: *that* is what allows us to feel pleasure. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said: "All great people are misunderstood."And remember that while the earth is slowly comitting suicide, we can help prevent it, or slow it down. The fact is that the human race can survive and progress for thousands of years after each of us dies, but we **all** have to contribute to make it this way. Be the change you want to see in the world.Please, dont kill yourself.', 'If you have friends and family, you shouldnt ever be homeless. Just because its bad now doesnt mean it wont get better.', 'You sound like a modern-day transcendentalist. Simplicity, simplicity. Also, this is great advice to everyone on here: Adventure over suicide.', 'Ill share a personal fact with you. I am an upper-middle class high schooler from the midwest of the U.S. I get everything I need, and some things that I just want. I am healthy, happy, and mentally competent.However, my 20 year old brother has a different story.His mother was a prostitute, and he suffered developmental problems in the womb. He was abused severely after he was born.My parents adopted him at the age of 1 and 1/2. Years later it became apparent how abnormal he was. Its nearly impossible for him to make friends, hes selfish, and just basically an outcast in life. He has severe frontal lobe damage, affecting his control of impulse, and hes been diagnosed with ADHD and bipolar disorder.And yet, hes one of the happiest kids I know. He messes up a lot, true. But he can always bounce back. Hes made one or two good friends, and he has parents that tolerate and even love him.He matures slowly, but I have hope for him.Do you live with your parents? If you do, try reaching out to them. If you dont have that type of relationship, turn to your friends. If thats also a flop...books are what I would suggest. Just stick it out until you can get your own place. Then get a dog. Theres nothing better to prove that love is real, or make you feel that you belong, than a dog.Our lives are short enough as they are. We should, if anything, try to extend them, to experience as much as we can.']

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['Im sure that no ones lying to you. A man I know just succeeded in committing Suicide and I can assure you that he was a ghost of himself, consumed by major Mental Depression for months. Everyone cares, and everyone wishes he hadnt done it. I hope you can find a way to carry on, and I hope that if you give it some time you can find healing and happiness in your life. ']

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['I dont deserve to feel better. I am a failure of a person and I deserve to die. My life is ruined and theres nothing left for me now. The things around me, cant be happening, I dont recognize the things around me or myself as real. Everything feels fake and nothing feels true. I dont want to have feelings anymore.', 'Thats ok, done that before myself.. try figuring out how to enter safe mode on your laptop. There should be an option for safe mode when you start the laptop, only lasts a few seconds, but tells you a button to press. Its usually F7. If you cant see it or figure it out, look for the laptop model (should be on the front or bottom of the laptop, ie. HP Pavillion MP) and google or ring up the customer services of the company that made it. They can walk you through it. After that, just choose normal safe mode. you should be able to login with a limited account, go to the control panel and create a new user without a password, then run it as normal. Make sure the new account is administrator mode and tell me what windows you have, and I can find out how to get your old account back.My computer repair course starts next Asthenia.. its a City & guilds course and I dont know how long it lasts. If I find work, it may mean giving it up and then what? Endless slogging away behind a till or washing dishes just because I dont have any money or anybody who even wants me around thats what. Maybe part time or evening courses but then I would have to pay lots of money. Theres always a barrier to everything because Im not rich and i am Illness of it.', 'thanks everyone for your replies its made me feel better', 'Thanks for talking to me. I dont know why but the way you describe it makes me feel a lot better. Its easy to think that youve just gone mad sometimes. I dont meditate but sometimes I listen to samples of rain, I will post a link. Im really Stress out that my thoughts are wrong and my feelings are wrong too. Its so hard to go to a job and work when all of that is in your head. Things were really hard last year it was a bad year when I had worked so hard for it to be a good year for once and it fell apart badly. I even asked the psychiatrists for ECT and they said no way, so I thought OK but that is how crazy I feel. They just keep sending me back home and I cant cope', 'Yes the art thing is more of a hobby so to speak. It requires a little coaching and a lot of initiative on my part to make it work but when things are about something you enjoy then its easier to set goals and pursue them. Sometimes it can get Tired technical with the programs we use. I dont think its good to direct people too much but sometimes a little help with the general practise or whatever can help a really long way. Its sometimes all I do some days but it can be unhealthy as it makes me spend all my time aloneI agree with you with CBT. Somehow its got to a stage where everyone kind of recommends it Fair enough it might work for some people. I feel too grown up to have someone talk down to me and teach me about feelings when they havent been there themselves. And its not easy to simply choose feelings away when something really bad has happened. Throwing my possessions away was a major thing for me to do, it didnt change an awful lot, but I proved to myself that I can make major changes and decisions if I really want to or need to. Youve got to be selfish and brutal with yourself but it can be for the better, the same as losing people who are harmful to you and sending you down the wrong road', 'Sorry you cant get your computer working. Hope you can find somewhere to fix it for you, if all else fails, look for a local PC repair shop in the yellow pages and tell them that youve locked yourself out. Theres many ways to get yourself back in and PC World will only overcharge you (they dont care if they do a bad job as they already have a brand reputation)Yes Ive been doing better these days thanks. My course has been fantastic, I spend my time pulling computers apart and putting them back together and its loads of fun. Today I even set up a simple local network between a few computers. It is Tired basic for a professional but big steps for me and it is great to get out of the house to do something I love. The rest of the Asthenia has been good, some downs but mostly ups. Its rare to have weeks like these when things go good. And it makes me feel strange when I look at my previous comments, like how could I feel so bad? and that I am slowly crawling out of a black hole. It feels so much better that I am doing what is fulfilling instead of trying to live up to what other people should think of me.In a way it is scary to understand that I am allowed to have boundaries and that I am allowed to defend myself and not be vulnerable. No one can talk me into this and convince me, anyone can help but like with many people it is simply a task for themselves to figure out. If theres any sensible statement to make of that, it is that my feelings tell me it is not okay to feel good, and that feelings must be hard, and they have to be intense. I have also been having strange Nightmares and I really want to talk about it. My recurring Nightmares are Tired real as if I have stuffed a whole handful of difficult feelings into some part of my brain and when I sleep they act themselves out. I am always back at my old house, with my family, over 10 years ago, in the kitchen, in the garden, in my old room. And I walk on the fields and walk towards the villages and towns in my head. There are some variations but there are some things that always stick. I know that Im in denial, like the truth is just there, I cant bury it completely. They are so real, it is as if I have halved myself, but time cant move on. Again it is a privilege to talk to someone and thank you so much. Youve been really helpful and no matter what you have been inspiring to me.', 'I felt really cheated from last year, my landlord kicked me out, I lost my job and my university course turned out to be hopeless. Almost the exact same thing happened the year before AND the year before, and it was literally not my fault, I have to live in the cheapest places and work the lowest paid jobs and if they want to cut costs or anything thats the way it goes. I dont have a family to talk to either and I put so much work in trying to keep them together but it fell apart too. I lost my old job too and all my friends and then I was in a hostel for a year. Its easy to think you have gone mad when these things happen to you so I went to the doctor and asked to have my head examined and to get treatment because something must be wrong with my brain. Because somehow this is my fault no normal person would make all these bad choices and there must be something wrong with me. I dont put in effort in my life like I used to because it never gets me anywhere I just look silly. Anyway sometimes I use this http://rain.simplynoise.com/ it can be relaxing sometimes.', 'Im not sure if I even want help. I want to make things better for myself. And I cant do it. I dont have a reason to live or to try. I cant keep believing in fairy tales. ', 'Thank you, I am seeing the doctor again this Asthenia, I saw him last Asthenia and he Fatigue my antidepressant medication. It is so hard though I do not feel sane, I feel like I am really going mad, I cant relax or slow down or Chill out AT ALL. I am also talking to a counselor but he does CBT and this isnt something that has helped at all. Nothing seems to work. My mind just seems to be crashing into itself and there is nothing I can do, Im so angry too, how did I become so unhinged? Why cant I just feel safe? Last year I was going to kill myself and it was the worst time ever, I was going to kill myself this year by hanging myself but I cant find the strength to do it', 'Yes, a short session wont clear up everything, but Ive already missed a lot of appointments because I cant leave my house. The counselor is going out on a wing because of me (and this isnt the first time) so I have to be really careful this time. Otherwise I wont see him but god knows what he can do with me I am not sure. When I talk about unreality he changes the subject and it is so hard to deal with feeling unreal on your own all the time. I dont want to talk about positive attitudes, staying strong or anything, feeling unreal is something that has happened to me outside of my control. I remember walking down my street as a young teenager and trying to fight it mentally, aggressively and it exploded in my early adulthood. This was so unfair because I tried so hard to stop it from happening and surrounded myself with positive things and people but the unreality kept going, ate up everything. So if I go to the counselor he will talk about methods to help. But I cant be helped, I dont want CBT, Ive already read so many self-help books that tell me its all my fault and my responsibility and Ive tried so hard for so long and got no payback. It is like I am drowning. Whether or not I want to totally admit it, I am drowning in my bad choices. This is all my fault. Somewhere behind me is another me, the one that made this all happen. All I can think of is despite everything I am CHOOSING this. Everything thats happened is completely my fault. Its satisfying to wrap your life in guilt. I want to feel as I used to feel, somewhere a long time ago, before becoming devoured by self pity. Nobody goes this route without choosing it. And Im the only one taking it. If it wasnt chosen how did I end up here? I want my feelings to not matter, I want to trade them away, but I cant and it makes me so sad. I just want to feel the sun again, to feel if I really mattered to anyone.I want to fight someone and I will fight the college that I have just attended. All the students I represented gave nothing in return, I tried to help them, tried to help everyone. ended up getting laughed at. I hate myself. Such a bad choice, I am not a human being. I have to meet a senior member of staff and talk him down. Sometimes I wonder why? was I allowed to become an adult when I should have just been allowed to die at a young age. I do not deserve to be alive', 'The counselor is only half an hour away and on friday I am going to try and be there early. Each time before Ive got lost and given up or not even made it outside the house. This time Im going to prepare myself and make it there in time although I dont know what he can do to help exactly. A lot of the talk about counseling and psychiatrists makes me sad, Ive been in and out of talking treatments for years and they dont help, connecting with another person is so hard because I always block out my feelings and have given up on feeling like I matter or that my feelings matter. It never feels OK to feel hurt. Everyone just shrugs off the unreal feeling as something that will go away one day when I talk about it but over the years it has only got worse and I cant tell if my thoughts are real or if my life is really happening. What my genuine self is has disappeared. Cant look at myself in the mirror or anything with my name on and feel that it belongs to me because its repulsive, makes me feel disgusted.When I came to the place I live now, I never expected things would have turned out so bad and poorly. All I wanted was a job and a safe place to live, and to just be left alone, Id already given up on having a normal life but didnt expect to still be falling apart every day. How could everyone leave just like that was bad enough, but the realisation I cant make it at all is much worse. I sacrificed so much of myself to beat Depression and it swallowed everything that was ever thrown at it, so I just decided to be fake and forget that I was a human permanently. I just want everything to go away. I dont want a diagnosis from the doctor or to speak to more psychiatrists because most of me hates the idea that anyone could care or understand anyway.Even if it wasnt for the Depression, I have lost everything, how can life be worth living now? Just to spend 18 hours in bed every day? Im lucky to have 2 amazing housemates and a group of online friends and Im lucky to talk to you. But is it really worth it when my family and my friends all disowned me and I dont have any chance of getting well enough to stay in work?', 'Thank you, Ive been going to the doctor a lot recently, last Asthenia he Fatigue my antidepressant medication and we talked about going back to see the psychiatrist The problem is that they dont do anything and just send me back anyway unless I get sectioned and I dont want that to happen again. I cant relax or slow down the only thing that I like is drinking heavily and that is really bad for me, and even though Ive cut down it messes up the medication. Theres lots of help and support but it doesnt matter because I feel like Ive lost my mind, Ive gone crazy even though everyone else says Im fine, I was going to kill myself last year and I was planning to kill myself two months ago by hanging myself in the basement but I didnt have the strength', 'I have lost my sense of self.That makes me a narcissist, doesnt it?I am a narcissist.', 'I wanted to go into IT and fix computers for a living or do something with computer security I didnt finish the course my interests are guitar, horror movies, computers, music, alcoholMy doctor Fatigue my medication today', 'thanks, I didnt know much about the open university.... i will have a look today. Saw the doctor yesterday too, its been a Asthenia since the doctor upped my dosage and Im feeling Tired nervous, my Weakness of hand are Tired shaky, he said that was normal and should go away soon. Been on ssp before, they dont tend to be Tired reasonable and will probably not pay more than \xc2\xa340 pounds a Asthenia. Its easier to fake a weekly jobsearch when you sign on. But its not like Im not looking for work, I even got an interview yesterday. The doctor also referred me to a counselor but I cant deal with things enough to make the appointments.. I have to try againIts so hard to go outside. As soon as I start walking down the street I start feeling nauseous. Its something that doesnt get better if you just bare with it. Going shopping can be the worst, big bright lights everywhere, long queues and loud noises. Most days than not I cant make it out longer than 5 minutes. It didnt use to be like this, it used to be a lot easier, but now its overwhelming, maybe when the medication starts working a little better it will be easier.I really appreciate talking to you theres nothing rambling about what youre saying.... it would be easy if I could just hold down a job but right now my state is so bad and I feel like a vegetable, hardly eating or exercising, just sleeping. Used to have recurring Nightmares about my family but theyre going away now, maybe the medication has started working.. its the only thing I can hope for. I like to beat myself up about how I cant do things for myself or take care of myself, like there should be no reason to be incapacitated, my parents would always say You have two working Arms and legs. Since I ran away the only times they have called me is to demand money.. they think the world owes them everything and I have Nightmares all the time about growing up. Its horrible when I hear my thoughts in the voice of my mother and sometimes they drag me down. Used to talk to the samaritans a lot when things were really bad a couple of months ago', 'Its tough to be nice to myself, I find it hard to find a reason to do so, treating myself with respect can be Tired challenging. I contribute so little to the world and feel guilty. All my relationships have broken down and it has been one bad year to the next. Its hard to find things to value or value myself. At the moment I have given up with my life and dont want to go on with it or face reality any more. All I do is sleep and I hardly ever leave the house. I hate how I should anything of value because it always means someone can come along and ruin it.I studied creative IT and wanted to be a web designer. but the course was really badly run and the lecturer was horrible, it was so bad that I want to get my course fees back, I havent even received my results. This was one of the only things I wanted in my life, to have a degree and it turned out to be a waste of time and money. I am so angry at them for ruining that. It was just so wrong for them to do that. Im making a formal complaint against them but I might even take them to court and sue them Im getting advice about it. They are bastards and they ruined everything for me. I dont see how things can turn out good now. There just dont seem to be any options. I need to get a job but I cant even go outside most days. Every time I go outside its like the whole world is spinning and everythings against me. Theres so little to hold on to and I feel like one of these days Im just going to get drunk and jump off a bridge or go for the hanging idea', 'Thank you so much. Its hard to see a reason to live or a point to go on. Im Tired of being a looser. After all the work I put into my future it all fell apart and it has been so lonely. My future is empty and Im so Worried it will be like this forever now. What place do I have in the world, do I get a chance to have one at all? How did things turn out this way. Why do I hide in my room every day and stay away from people. I might as well be dead. Going to a park can be Tired stressful sometimes, I would try to read a book or to enjoy the sun, but things would feel wrong, its like theres a machine in my head that goes crazy when I stay outside too much. Sometimes its nice though. Used to go jogging a lot until the phobia became too bad. I tend to go shopping quite late, while its quiet, or sometimes go for long walks, its the only thing I can do to stop feeling so isolated.You are right about my family problems, something happened when I was talking to the doctor once he took my blood Pressure as a routine thing, he talked to me about my family to try and calm me down, instead it went extremely high and he apologised. I didnt feel angry, but probably because it was just being bottled up. In a way this how Ive been living, in a world of denial and blocking out feelings by any means necessary, so I cant feel those feelings again. I even hate it sometimes when people try to make me feel better, I dont deserve to, I dont even want to feel good if it means I dont have to feel so bad again.', 'Ive been telling myself since a child how lucky I should feel for the things I have. But Im not capable of making a contribution of society. I just get to sit here. I tried volunteering for years. I spent whole months volunteering until I realized, I was just volunteering myself away. It looks like the only good Im useful for is washing dishes and serving people their big macs. That doesnt make me feel lucky. I dont feel lucky at all. ', 'Yes I used to volunteer an awful lot, I left when it stopped helping. I was so messed up anyway at that point in my life, just trying to hold onto whatever opportunity came up, and soon it felt obvious to me that volunteering was not what I wanted or needed. It didnt get me noticed or improve my situation at any point and looking back it was just something to with the only people who could be bothered with me and even then after that they crossed me off the books and I was alone again. Theres something that I am involved in, which you could call volunteering, I dont want to say much about it, but its to do with a creative art project, I do it online with other people and help them with things. It gives them a creative outlet and something to do and they really appreciate it. Its also a lot of fun to help others too especially when theyre new to it. So thats what I concentrate on sometimes, it gives me some focus and helps me enjoy life a little more, in a way its one of the only things worth living for at the moment. The jobcenter are sending me to a work based learning course next Asthenia too as part of the jsa agreement but its something Im interested in and looking forward too.The counselling went pretty badly, I only lasted 10 or 15 minutes! The counselor was trying to explain CBT to me (like my old counselor) and using CBT techniques, when I tried explaining feelings of unreality and feeling unreal, he said it was a thought not a feeling, and that really sparked off something in me for some reason. It has been tough because Ive always been exploited in my life by the people I trusted but when he said that I started losing my grip and had to leave. Feeling unreal is something I have struggled with and he wasnt listening to me, he was debating me and it felt horrible.I see what you mean about guilt and even just imagining living without guilt is hard but it is worth trying to fight it to find a better life somewhere. Ive tried stripping down my life before, throwing away most of my possessions, shredding all my old documents, but I cant seem to find an end point to where my mind is satisfied. Theres never been a rock bottom just things getting worse and worse. That causes a lot of Anxiety and makes the guilt even harder to deal with, its a deadly combination of emotions', 'Its nice to talk to you btw I felt a little more normal when you talked about your own experience of Depression and that made things a little easier somehow', 'I dont know. Ive never been so withdrawn before. I am not eating, not exercising properly at all, not facing responsibilities. Things are piling up and slowly spiralling out of control. It would only take a little effort but I cant face anything. On Friday I am seeing a counselor. But thats all I can find, a 30 minute slot. I cant keep living alone and ringing the samaritans and surviving on benefits. A part of me just wants to give up and go home but theres no home to go back to. Everythings spinning around and it hurts too much. I could keep on blocking things out but honestly how much longer is that going to work? Its the only way Ive learned to deal with things and its becoming so destructive.Nobody is going to understand how the last several years have been, i havent had any friends or been able to take care of myself so I was always getting Illness and losing jobs. Nobody wants to deal with me in the world because I am a third class person in a first class world and I dont belong here. It is horrible to go out for a walk and feel Dizziness and naseous because everythings blurring and spinning in my head. All I can think is that this can not possibly be happening. Somewhere out there was the way that things were supposed to have happened and this isnt right, this is not what is real. the whole situation is suffocating.I can still get a job but theres no strength or stability in my life and I feel like my soul has gone How would the things in my life have happened to me if I wasnt a bad person.How can I justify it to myself?', 'i dont understand how or why youre trying to help but helping is something you seem to like doing and I am Tired grateful. You seem to be a special human being and I appreciate talking to you.Finding work is not hard. All you have to do is apply to 000s of places, concentrate hard and have a clear idea about the work involved so that you can explain it to the agent, interviewer, or manager. It takes up to a few weeks to have a job imo and Ive proved it to myself, when Ive really needed a job, my sense has kicked in, and you get a job. Sometimes even the challenge of something new, even if it was Burger king being in charge of the frying, that was ok. But something kicked in and Im acting destructive, acting out, refusing to work to thwart myself. Im not stupid Ive already had a lot of potential leads and done everything in my power to make sure I remain unemployed.I CANT keep acting out like this forever. Or mayb, but what am I trying to say? Its not like I know what Im doing. If Im honest, I am screwing myself over because of feelings of shame and the habit to withdraw. Ive lived on subsistence so long, it is hard to break away. I tend to imagine if a more aggressive person suddenly came into my body, wouldnt they take everything and exploit the things around them? Im a male and full of testosterone, but I want to wash it away, I dont want myself, it is comforting to think I am inherently bad. Funny how I used to make fun of my religious education teacher about sin under the premise it was a skewed belief and simply the product of guilt. But guilt is powerful and addictive and I DONT believe the feelings we live with are feelings we grow up with or an adult choice but feelings we get used to in between and forget.', 'are you alright, Is your computer still giving you hassle?', 'I kept getting thrown out of places I lived in because my landlords didnt like me. I paid my rent on time and was a good tenant but they would throw me out anyway. My job let me down, then another job let me down. Then my university let me down and I just dont know what to say or think anymore. Ive tried so hard and worked so hard and it was all for nothing. Now all I do is sleep. Theres nothing left for me here. Im not allowed to want anything']

Behavior

user-115

['Heh. I guess I meant that:>When life seems too difficult, comedy is the way out. Its a cheat code really. You just dont get bothered by the Feeling unhappy you feel. You would think that it is too difficult to snap out of the Suicidal Feeling unhappy and become happy, but in retrospect it isnt that difficult (somewhat counter-intuitively).Heres a somewhat random one that I dug out from youtube.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NL8HP1WzbDkAll of Carlin is amazing! You can if you want pm me and tell me what led to your breakdown this time. Or at least figure out your triggers. Discuss them with the people you trust. I guess the friend who practices something as intimate as cutting would be a great place to start with.You can always contact me for advice. There is a 5 hour time-gap and I am not on the internet all the time, so my answers might be delayed and dont lose heart because of that. I am still evloving my views and learning so I cannot guarantee that I would be correct, but I promise empathy.', '> "there is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn"Albert Camus, The Myth of Sisyphus', 'At least :)']

Indicator

user-120

['I have to be honest with you, you WANT that to happen and maybe we romanticize death the be that way, "Oh he wouldnt want us to grieve." But they will. They will lose jobs, end relationships, cry themselves to sleep, drop out of school, develop insecurities, ask themselves why again and again six years later at 3 o clock in the morning, their lives will be irrevocably and permanently scarred by the ugly fact that what happened DID effect them in an terrible and unfair way. If you find yourself unsure if you can do it for you, PM me and Ill tell you all the reasons you can do it for them. Seriously. It will ruin their lives forever.', 'Hey, Depression and Suicidal thoughts are not correlated with how great your life is going. There is no shame in mental illness, regardless of how many "wins" you can rack up. Its okay to be sick. When my boyfriend committed suicide a lot of people said things like, "But he had a good family" and "He had you! What kind of guy would give that away?" It just doesnt work like that. Of course, acute situations can push someone to committing suicide and that is what I would worry about.Im not sure what your financial situation is, but seeing a professional is the best thing I can recommend. Not just once, but consistently. Youre not alone. People feel like this all the time. Its not to minimize how much Pain your in, but to empower you to know that there are people who recover, people who grab ahold of all the things you wish you could feel. It sounds like self-esteem plays a big role in how you feel: calling yourself a pussy, not feeling comfortable around women, etc. I can assure you that being in a relationship isnt the key to getting over it (and people who say to "get over it" should be kicked in the shins!) Anyways, I read this. I see it. Im thinking about you. There is someone out in this great, big world who cares about you and wants the best for you, okay?']

Indicator

user-349

['I depends on a lot of factors, and the answer is different for everyone. For me, the best is probably not the easiest.The easiest in my mind would be Brett Michaels, what with his wanton lifestyle and his _Rock of Love_ debauchery. The best? Ill go with Richie Kotzen. He seems to be the most grounded of the whole lot, and seems to be perfecting his art and talent while the others are just living off of their past fame. But I could be wrong.What about you? What are your thoughts?http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poison_(band)http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richie_Kotzen', 'Hopefully, you are going to call 911, they are going to call poison control, who will advise you what to do to stay alive. Please call them now. There are some things worse than death when mixing medicines at Drug abuse doses. You mention begging Gods forgiveness. Are you religious? I am. Would you Hyperactive behavior to talk about that with me? If you go to Mass, please mention this to the priest. He has a ton of experience with peopl in all walks of life. ', 'It may seem that way, but we humans are very fickle. Sometimes I feel Hyperactive behavior Im all alone, sometimes I recognize all the love that is around me. There are good days and bad days. Dont make this very big, very permanent decision on a bad day, month, year, or even decade. You dont know what is in your future, but you can overcome this. IF you dont think you have the strength, look elsewhere for your strength: Other people, books, faith, therapy.Sometimes I want to throw in the towel, that doesnt make it the right decision for my future.Please tell me what your plans are for your future.', 'Dont do it man. There are other things to live for.I see your name is 50calsniper. Do you play video games? ', 'Soon. Please. So the police can catch this guy before he attacks again. ', 'If I could say something to make it all better, I would. What have you tried to "fill the hole"? Maybe I can point you in a direction youve missed.I know what filled mine, but I hesitate to share it.', 'You are young. Im sure your track record will improve . . . and its probably not as bad as you think. I think if you ate some healthy, real meals and got some good sleep, you might be in a better frame of mind to think about how to move forward.', 'What about helping your family?', 'Have you ever talked to a professional about Anxiety Mental Depression and Mental Depression? I personally believe those drugs are prescribed too often, but there are some definite medical reasons that can lead to those symptoms. ', 'Everything is not shit. It just looks Hyperactive behavior it sometimes. Could you apologize to those ppl? Rekindle the relationships?', 'I dont feel that killing yourself is the best decision and I dont feel that any plans to kill oneself are great.Your existence can benefit others, and Im sure it does. Smiling to others at the grocery store is a benefit to the world.Have you sought out any other counselors or psychologists?', 'When was the last time you had a good meal and a good few nights sleep?', 'All he said was to pray? Did he offer any other suggestions? Have u had any further conversations? Who else can you talk to about what ur going through?', 'I dont think anyone can be replaced. Life would go on without you, but you cannot be replaced.Sometimes, I think we are trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. Something is missing in your life. You need to find out what it is. Apparently, you have been trying to fill it with things that dont "fit." What else could you try?', 'Whats going on? Tell me about your family.', 'Ive been replying to the OP, but I think our conversation is best served in another subreddit. Hit me up over in r/DebateAChristian.', 'Moms and daughters . . . yeah, unfortunately, that happens.Regardless, with a mom and a boyfriend, people love you. You have a lot to live for and a lot of time to do it. Take it slow. Dont make any big decisions when you are emotionally upset.Can you go to school or get a better job? What do you want to do?', 'It sounds Hyperactive behavior u are in a tough spot. You might talk a bit to your parents and not go into all the details. Maybe tell them you are having a hard time with friends just so the people who love you know you are struggling a bit. As far as the other friend who cares a lot about herself, all people have issues. She might be dealing with somethin she isnt telling you about, or she might just be selfish. I dont know. Ate there any other people you know and respect, people who are confident and grounded that you can talk to or start a friendship with? Neighbors? coworkers?Reaching out here is a good step, but face to face conversation is always better. ', 'Even if the money problem is insurmountable, its a temporary problem. Can you get a ride into work?Can you use a nearby public restroom for toilet paper? Or go to McDonalds, get a $1 burger and load up on free napkins?I know these sound weird, but they do solve the temporary problems. More importantly for the future, are you in the right job? is it too far away? Do you have a fuel efficient car? Is your rent payment too much? Can you get another job?', 'I hope you didnt really just do that. If you did, call for help. Call anyone.', 'is your username regarding this post or your entire existence?', 'Yes, that can make life difficult. Can you please tell us more?Are you mobile? Can you move away? Do you have anyone else you can talk to?', 'If you ask 10 people, you will get 11 contradictory answers. My answer, Love God, Love Others. What do you think? What did you think before this?', 'Im surprised your friends dont Hyperactive behavior to talk about their beliefs. Maybe they just dont Hyperactive behavior to talk to you. :) Thats a joke.I know that atheist posts on Reddit with the highest upvotes usually reference "waiting on the evidence" because it seems to be the most noble reason to not believe (, whereas "waiting on the evidence" for climate change or evolution is seen as a needless reluctance to accept established fact). Notwithstanding, having spent a lifetime talking to people about their faith or lack thereof, the atheists I talk to hardly ever mention it.They usually say something Hyperactive behavior "I refuse to believe in a God who allows suffering," "my parents are religious hypocrites," "my friends are going to be in hell so Id rather be with them," or "My dad was never a believer and I refuse to believe that he is in hell." But regarding your wait on the evidence, I would submit that the burden of proof necessary to make you believe on Christ and submit to His will is impossible.* If a man performed a miracle in Christs name, it could be a trick.* If Christ came back to perform miracles, He could be lying about who He is.* Christ could be lying about His capability to deliver on His promise* Christ could be lying about how long hell really lasts* Christ could be lying about how great heaven isThe list goes on and on. Ultimately, some people will never swallow their pride and humble themselves to believe that they need Christ to atone for their sin. ', 'Well then you definitely have a lot of living to do.Again, dont care about what other people think about you. If you are unhappy with your choices, make different choices. You have plenty of time to change. Also, you havent failed as a man. Or rather, we have all failed at something. Its human to fail. Youre doing it right.', 'Thats great to hear!! Keep going.go on . . . :)', 'I think if you have a list of all the people who can vouch for you, you can then submit a settlement (and maybe even a counter suit (defamation)) which I believe is required by law to be presented to the other family by their lawyer. Say, "lets settle for $1, because I have 100 ppl who say I never did this to them, oh yeah, and you have no proof. And if you dont settle, Im going to sue you for all of my lost wages for making me go through this when you knew nothing happened." Just a few thoughts. ', 'Hope.Well, since you asked, because I am a Christian.I was made in the image of God, which makes me valuable in Gods eyes. (This is why I believe even a profoundly retarded child has inherent worth.)Therefore, I do not believe I am defined by my happiness, sorrow, wealth, poverty, wisdom, talents, etc. I also do not believe my life will get better; it may get much, much worse, and that is okay. Its life: it gets better and it gets worse.I believe I am here to honor and glorify God. One of the ways to accomplish this is to love and serve others.I know people who post to r/suicidewatch need love (Hyperactive behavior every other person on the planet) so I post here.I believe that after I die, since I believe in Jesus, I will go to heaven, where I will be rewarded for loving and serving others.I have hope today and I have hope for the future.', 'I was looking through your post history and found it. My point was was Suicide is Hyperactive behavior that slide. The pic makes it look great, but the reality is much different.You can return the slide but you cant come back to life. Please dont make an irreversible decision. So how are things for you?', 'Do you still have buddies in Ohio?', 'I think *you* would be the victim of that crime. You might end up in prison, or worse, handicapped and in prison, with no freedom to choose how you live your life.You have a lot going for you. Dont throw it away. Keep looking for a job and then maybe look for other people less fortunate than you to see if you can help them at all.', 'Why do you have to wait? To see if you are convicted?', 'You are a human. That sums it up. What can you be doing to make it right? What can you do to love her and your son today?', 'Not available in my country??', 'deleted', 'Yes, but obviously not all. Ive definitely studied Judaism, Islam, and a the derivatives of those and Christianity. Ive looked at Buddhism and Hinduism a little but not very deep.You?', 'I feel Hyperactive behavior eating rice and oatmeal will be bad for your health. Is there any other way you can see to decrease the stresses in your life and your wifes life?I thought during bankruptcy, you were protected in your place of residence? Now, Im not suggesting it, but I was hoping the medical bills could be pushed back if you threatened the collectors that if they pressed on you any more, they would get nothing.', 'You are right. She is definitely not responsible. But if she did talk to the cops, it could help them find the bad guy, and I hope that would help the victim. ', 'It would not be ideal, and there are things that are worse than death, Hyperactive behavior being pinned to a tree inside a mangled car for 3 days. Please tell me more about your life. What sucks?What about your plans to go to New Zealand, volunteering at a zoo, and biking around the United States??', 'People who are hurting, do things and say things they shouldnt. You might want to take the Drug abuse ground at these opportunities and give them the benefit of the doubt.', 'Can you get medicaid or food assistance?How bad can they come after you? Eventually, you could just go bankrupt and they cant collect anything so there are limits to what lengths they can go.', 'Can you still go to the job you had lined up?', 'Life is hard and it definitely isnt fair. For every person with a SO, there are a bunch without. What if you never find a SO? Would you consider your life a failure? Maybe you dont have a SO, but do you a have family and friends? Last, you mentioned a bunch of physical things you have tried to fill that hole. What about philosophy or faith? ', 'How old are you? You have a lot of living and loving to do before you pass away. Dont hate yourself, and dont place much weight in what other people think about you. The key is not to think "Im better than they," but to think, "they are no better than I."', 'I work with kids on occasion and it is a shame that anytime a kid says something, its guilty until proven innocent. There are definitely some bad guys out there but for Petes sake, you are a swim coach. You are going to have to change eventually. The shame is that kids are VERY open to suggestion. I really hope your lawyer understands this. There are some unbelievable clips on youtube of care workers interrogating young children until they said ANYTHING the care workers wanted to hear: getting raped by toys and scissors and crap Hyperactive behavior that, with zero injuries. And the kids would just keep talking. One thing I might do is have you or your lawyer talk to EVERY other kid, parent, helper on the swim team to see if any of them have ever seen you act inappropriately to ANY kid and anytime. Then, have your lawyer take that to the other lawyer and his clients.', 'Is there more work to be had even under the table stuff?Whos Birthday is it? and Who was your mom pregnant with?', 'When you say "direction my life is going", are you talking about just the last two weeks? Because if so, I would say, the last two weeks definitely sucked, but it probably doesnt define the direction of your life.', 'Is there anyone that could be positively impacted by your life?Today, tomorrow, or in the next 30 years you will have lots of time to positively impact others. Thats worth living for right there.Have you been sleeping?', 'What stage in life are you? School? Job?What do you do on your day off?', 'Ive played bf3 on the ps3 since it came out.Once I got MW3 for Christmas, I havent picked up bf3, and I probably wont. Its one narrow style of play. MW3 is much more fun. Less realistic maybe, but good for hours of fun. ', 'Im listening too.How much debt do you have? Do you live with your parents or on your own?', 'Here is a link to a pic you posted.https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s720x720/380736_265933376834371_100002531324041_595629_571231638_n.jpgI guess sometimes you think you know what you want, but when you get it, you change your mind. Dont make any decisions right now that you cant reverse. ', 'It will definitely improve with some positive changes from you. What can you do for someone in the next hour that would be nice? Compliment someone in class? Clean up around the house? How about this week? Volunteer somewhere? And I still think its probably not as bad as you think. You still have a girlfriend, so thats something. She must be getting something out of the relationship. Do you coupon for groceries. If not, that can save a TON of money. The Futon is no fun, but Im talking about uninterrupted sleep. Do you get any of that? Also, do you exercise at all?', 'Go on.Im listening.', 'Oh ok. Still, it seems Hyperactive behavior the cons outweigh the pros. I know new jobs are hard tom come by but you might want to be looking for other options.', 'I dont think Ive ever really struggled with Mental Depression. Can you explain it to me in your words?', 'You are not insignificant. It only "seems" that way some times.', 'I am a Christian.I believe God has a plan for my life: for me to love Him and love others. Sometimes its great, other times it sucks. But ultimately, its His plan and I trust in Him.', 'If the pay sucks AND you cant move up, it might be time to move on. Have you talked to your boss about what it would take to move up?', 'Beatnik, Im happy to oblige. While my faith does bring me comfort, the comfort is only an effect, not the cause.But saying all your friends believe only for the comfort it brings is Hyperactive behavior saying all atheists refuse to believe because they just want to live a life full of sin. People believe and refuse to believe for different reasons. Personally, I became a believer at around 5 years old mainly to go to heaven. And im not ashamed to say it. Lets face it, some things are more clear to a child than an Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult anyway. Ask a 5 year old if its wrong to tell a lie, then go ask a lawyer. Since then my faith has grown deeper and more rooted in the Bible and fulfilled prophesies (birth, location of Christ, et al). Im a believer now because I believe the Bible is Gods Word, and Christ is the only one who can pay for my sin. ', 'Why cant you talk to your parents about it? They may not be happy, but its done, its in the past. Can they move forward?Who else can you talk with about it?', 'I want you to live', 'You are a talented writer. Have you explored that gift much? Do you write a blog or journal?Is there anything you can do to change things up, to change from the repetition?', 'Dont do it. Its never too late to make changes in your life.Where are you living now?', 'What is a Suicide watch?', 'I your friend has problems too, then you need each other. Help her and get help from her. If you need more help, keep looking. Suicide is not the only way out. Think about it Hyperactive behavior this, someone took advantage of you, and they think they have control. The way to take back control is to face your issues, not to run away. The Chest Pain may never go away but time will begin to heal the wound. Maybe no one talks to each other in your neIghborhood because no One is talking to them. Maybe start a conversation?', '>Still, taking your own life... thats a ballsy thing. It takes... it takes something.I hear what you are saying, but I want to make an important distinction. True, taking your own life takes some *resolve*, but many would say its ultimately running from the problem, or just quitting.When I think about someone ready to kill himself/herself, I think of someone who is not afraid of death. Now someone who is not afraid of death . . . they can **definitely** be capable of some ballsy things.Im thinking what could a ballsy person do to make the world a better place if he/she was not afraid of death? Help people with Skin Diseases, Infectious diseases, spend time helping the needy in areas of increased crime, volunteer at time when others wont.I know there maybe other dangers involved in those activities, but the idea of not being afraid of death should really expand the list of things you are willing to do. Maybe just knock on a random door in your neighborhood and invite someone out to coffee? Maybe people around you are struggling too?', 'What else have you tried? ', 'If you had money do you think most of your problems would be gone?What do you do? What are your expenses? Ive done some budget counseling in the past. Maybe we can find some extra cash in your budget so you can make some changes in other areas?', 'You sound young.Why do you say you are alone? You have a boyfriend and it sounds Hyperactive behavior a sister who loves you and wants the best for you. People compliment you (smart, attractive). Its possible that your sister and your boyfriend will never get along, but dont lose hope because they dont.You are strong enough to deal with this. Talk to the people who care about you. Take each day one step at a time. Dont give up because things arent perfect every day.', 'I would be lying if I said I knew what you were going through, but I dont.What I do know is that I was taught a very important lesson on beauty as a teenager: Outward beauty is fleeting and meaningless. Now most people dont live their lives based in this knowledge but if they live long enough, they will all have to come to grips with it. The longer they are beautiful on the outside, the worse the lesson will be. ', ' Care to share the ticker? I just want to check it out for you. ', 'Are you still friends with your ex?Do you think it is possible to be friends with people of different opinions and morals? What do you enjoy? Coffee?', 'You have been surrounded by people who are not true friends. Im sorry about that. Your trust issues are because of this. When you find some real friends, who love you for who you are, you will probably know it.You sound young. Take it one day at a time. You will turn out fine.', 'You are more than a job, a computer, and a minecraft friendship. Im not trying to belittle the friendship but, there are definitely better friends out there. Have you been kicked out of the house before? Do you have any other friends who are close? Any friends who are far?', 'Do you read books? What ones do you Hyperactive behavior?What games do you play?', 'Is there anytime if your life when you were happy? Is there anything you enjoy? My friend just killed himself. He liked volleyball. I love volleyball. If he would have let me know that he wanted to play, I would have joined a team with him. I really wished I had known he were struggling. Please tell others how you are feeling. People love you. ', 'What stock? ', 'Tell us about your little girl.I have a daughter myself. She is amazing. Im really looking forward to watching her grow up.', 'Its Hyperactive behavior that song "Message in a Bottle"Not "genie in a bottle". Thats a completely different song. ', 'Ok, so youre 25 with about $24k in debt, and some big monthly bills. I see a lot of hope in that situation. Its manageable. Tell me more about your job. I know its tough finding jobs but it might make some sense for you to look around anyway, especially if you can only afford living with your parents.', 'I totally agree. OP, Im not a doctor either, but if your mother has struggled with Mental Depression, I think the chances you will struggle with something similar is pretty big. My family has a history of heart disease . . . its just a sad fact of life (and genetics). Also, you are **not** a freak. Everyone struggles with something. That is another sad fact of life. **EVERYONE** struggles with **SOMETHING**. Some people struggle with bigger things, some people deal with it better or worse, but everyone is dealing with how life isnt perfect. You are not alone in your feelings.', 'And I will die knowing I will not fully understand God, but its okay but because I would rather die not knowing than to delude myself into thinking we are here by chance.Accepting that people are in hell is the reason I am up a night, concerned for others. Yes, it is a difficult truth. Guess what, there are some sucky things in life. You deal with it. That doesnt Irritable Mood it isnt true.I definitely dont want to stop this debate. You posted looking for answers from people, and I believe the Bible has the answers you are looking for. Thats why I spend time in r/SW. When you look at atheists reasons to "keep on trucking" I think one finds them philosophically empty. Whereas, if I believe that God is in control, then he has a plan for me, so I dont need family, friends, a job, happiness, or health to be reasons to keep going. I keep going because God is in control and He has a plan for my life while I am alive: to love Him and love others. This life is NOT about me, it is about others. Think about the Bible as the philosophical grand unified theory that everyone is looking for: Who made us? Why are we here? Why should we love others? What is sin? Why do I keep sinning? Why are we filled with awe when we look at the stars? What happens when we die? ', '1. IQ tests are subjective, biased, and inconsistent. They dont prove anything.2. Are you just unhappy with your entire life or a few circumstances?', 'Why not be honest with the doctors? Maybe there is a physical reason you are not happy. Have you ever considered joining a support it religious group? Ever tried to read some self help books, poetry, the Bible?EDIT: I meant support OR religious group. Im not sure what a "support-it religious group" is. :) so basically, just any type of group to get together for a purpose, support, helping the poor, photography, etc. ', 'a', 'Good luck. Feel free to let us know how it goes, but feel free to keep it private to.', 'Hello.We care.', 'Which Religion?', 'I dont get it? Why?', 'This.Look up Donald Trumps Wikipedia page and search it for Bankrupt. about half a dozen of his companies have gone bankrupt and he almost declared personal bankruptcy too a couple times. It happens to businesses every day, and its really not that bad. Its actually a great way to encourage people to be starting businesses. If things go bad, you can declare bankruptcy and it limits the damage creditors can do to you. Its not Hyperactive behavior they are going to throw you in jail. Creditors line up, try hard to get what little $$ is Ventricular Dysfunction, Left and eventually, they all realize there isnt any and they go away. As far as family life, my wife and son and I have been through some tight times financially, including a foreclosure. Its not fun, but life goes on. You learn to live with less, you learn to make a few sacrifices, and then you realize how great life can be without all the extra stuff we *think* we need. We were able to lower our bills and expenses so now our future is brighter than before. You are more than your business. There is hope.', 'Look over at the Guidelines >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Philosophical discussion about Suicide belongs in /r/philosophy or /r/suicidology.If you start this thread over in one of those places, Ill try to find it.', 'Read what other ppl are saying, this is going to Chest Pain you a lot with Vomiting and organ damage when you survive this. The body doesnt want to die and we dont want you to die either. Please call 911, and the come back here to tell us whats going on. ', 'Criminal case . . . dang.Well, what about a counter suit? What does your lawyer think about that?', 'Im not an expert on budgets, but I do know that a lot of medical places wont com after you too hard as long as you are paying something, Hyperactive behavior $1 every month.You are worth much, much more alive. Even from a purely mathematical standpoint, the present value of all of your future earnings is huge. Once you Attention Deficit Disorder in the emotional support, love, and charity that you can offer others for the next few decades, it REALLY starts to Attention Deficit Disorder up.How is you wife doing?']

Supportive

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['Save them from what?', 'Thats dismaying, but surely youve been in a place where everything has Pain less? And from there, youve been in a place where everything has Pain the least? There most assuredly has been a time like that for you.Im not going to say that youll experience a moment back to that state. You might come back to it. You might even exceed it. But you damn well will get close to it.We live our lives for those moments. I dont believe you when you say youve never been in a place youve liked. What was your first lollipop like? The first time eating your favorite food? Running a mile then stopping and feeling that runners high surging through you? Beaten a difficult level in a game? Had a first kiss? Buying the first object with hard-earned money? Petted an animal? Helped someone and felt better for it? Drank a cool drink on a hot day? Taken a warm shower on a rainy day? Laughed with friends?', 'Slippery slope. Feels good now, but its going to escalate. I used to do the same thing. Felt great; the world felt like the past and I became more alive than I had ever been. Id pull the trigger and it was like cool mist was hovering inside my brain. Id have a renewed sense of urgency to do good things, be a better person, and be responsible again.Then I started loading the gun.', 'Its perfectly understandable to feel angry. Sometimes, we just arent dealt the right cards. I cant imagine what you must go through every day. Have you told anyone about the sexual abuse, and has it stopped? With your family, youre being exposed to addiction at all turns. Hey, best part of that, and yes, there is a good part, is that youll not become like them, because you see how they ended up. Its a handicap, but there are advantages. How old are you?Heres a poem I read when I was around 13, 14. Its been a great boon to me: [Give it a read.](http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/178055)', 'First of all, what youre experiencing will stop. Its just a matter of when.Sit down. Try to manage your breaths. Go as slow as you possibly can go. When youve calmed a bit, tell me why you want to kill yourself? Im willing to bet one of your first thoughts will be, "I dont know."Dont worry, this is normal. Let me tell you a true story: A man wanted to kill himself, so he went to the first place he thought of to do so, the Golden Gate Bridge. While standing there, in the middle, he realized he had to cross the street to jump off. A policeman notices this man, eyeing the passing cars with darting glances and makes a correct assumption that the man is about to do something risky.But the man doesnt cross. He continues to watch the cars passing by, trying to find a gap so he can run across. Eventually, the policeman managed to get to the man before he did something drastic. The man confessed to wanting to jump of the bridge, but what the police officer and the man, as he said later, couldnt understand is if the intent was suicide, why the man was Worried about the cars speeding past him which would have most likely ended his life as well!Youre in the same catatonic state. What you need to do to yourself is find a way to calm yourself down and wait it out. And it will beat against you with all its might, but youre stronger than It. Put some headphones on and listen to your favorite song on full blast. One day you will be six Oedema of extremity under the ground, but *not today*. You destroyed it before, now destroy it again. Feed yourself with good thoughts. Youve been on this Earth for 10-plus years, you the strongest fucking Homo-sapien hairless ape to walk the ground, to use tools, customized by a genetic code that **nobody else** has. Whats another five minutes? Whats another ten?Tell it to go to hell, but for fucks sake, it will never plunge you down there with it.', '10 bucks says youre from an Asian family.Im sorry you had to go through this. Glad you got out of the situation, but you really need to keep it that way. Do things that give you rest and reprieve. Its important for yourself to not get Stress out. ', 'This is a tricky situation.On the one hand, you want to give her the best possible outcome with an targeted approach centered at her immediate well-being. On the other, her family, minus your girlfriend, are focused on long-term prospects with worrying about her job and social life.Im inclined to agree with your position. **Arguments for your position:*** If she has done this before, statistics show shell try again in the future. * She has been duplicitous in the past with attempting therapy. In her state, she needs it, and needs it right now.* Is it really smart being exposed to drinking in the state her liver is in?You have to tip-toe a fine line here. For one, youre not part of the immediate family, and its a precarious time, so your opinion might fall by the wayside. But try anyways. Furthermore, inquire about bringing in a non-judgmental third-party, like a family doctor or a preacher. I have an inkling theyll side with your position.Good luck.', 'Im glad. You know what, I was about to write that, because thats where I felt the happiest in my entire life too.There will be many Disneylands in your future. Think of it as a game of chance. You keep rolling and rolling the dice; youre bound to hit upon a 6. Right now youre at a 1. Its clouding your mind. You keep rolling 1s and 2s. Tell me about your family. What are you feeling right now?', 'Hey man/woman, hang in there. Some of the best comedians came from/are in bitter times, and they come up with great material because of it.For the stage fright, just practice in front of a mirror, then work yourself up performing to one person, then two, and keep it in single increments until it turns into a crowd.Edit: And to be fair, a lot of people who you might think of as in peace with their life, really arent. They just seem that way. Heres a poem by Edwin Arlington Robinson: Whenever Richard Cory went down town, We people on the pavement looked at him: He was a gentleman from sole to crown, Clean favored, and imperially slim. And he was always quietly arrayed, And he was always human when he talked; But still he fluttered pulses when he said, Good-morning, and he glittered when he walked. And he was rich - yes, richer than a king - And admirably schooled in every grace: In fine, we thought that he was everything To make us wish that we were in his place. So on we worked, and waited for the light, And went without the meat, and cursed the bread; And Richard Cory, one calm summer night, Went home and put a bullet through his head.', 'I have a Forever stamp laying here somewhere. I could mail it to you. You could send it back after your first paycheck. I sincerely hope things get better for you Tired, Tired soon. Dont let this become your personal burden, a neuro-chemical catharsis that you solely blame on yourself, by getting the help you require. Getting to the doctor is the hardest part at this stage, but you deserve it even though you dont feel like it. ~$60 to see the doctor and get a script. You need this kickstart buddy.', 'Im going to head to bed soon and someone else will help you out, but take note that someone cruising by noticed this. I dont know anything about you, but I dont want you to die. How would you like me to help? Is there anything I can do?', 'I like that you go out and walk somewhere, just anywhere. Maybe you can get a gym membership? It helps to kill time.', 'Has this happened only this one time? Do you know for sure that she left on account of the depression?If she did leave because of it, do you really want to be with, get married to, have kids with a person who thinks negatively of it?It might have happened to me before. I told her about it and she stopped responding to texts or phone calls. Thats when I realized I wasnt interested in her anymore because she couldnt contact me like an adult to tell me to stop. She, and yourself seem relatively young. Dont worry, it gets better when youre older buddy. ', 'That guilt trip shit is common.Glad youre feeling better. For every low, there is a high, and vice versa.', 'Very clever screenname.Its not too late. Tell them you were Illness and re-schedule.', 'Youre stuck with a conditioned way of thinking; lets cut this chain.Have you ever been in a place youve liked?', 'Yep, that last sentence was the same with me. Getting on with the rest of the day was so easy. I was listening to NPR the other day and apparently the VA is giving free gun locks to veterans. Its sort of a stalling tactic in case you reach for your weapon in a time of depression, but you should seriously look into that. Have a great day.', 'Are you renting or owning? Actually, it doesnt matter. You want to die. Do you realize all the possibilities that opens up for you? You can do everything. Get out of town, move to a new city with the woman who obviously loves you and discover everything anew again. Get that change of scenery, get those new job opportunities. Get an interview in a new city and ask them for a telephone interview, and that youre willing to move there.A lot of marriage vows have "for better or **worse**". You might not believe in that stuff, but she sure does; and hell, you might not even be married to you. Be good to yourself and accept it, because you deserve it!That fifth paragraph is not you being in a stump; its depression. Dont blame yourself. Ill PayPal you $10 bucks if youd like so you can turn on your heat for your day.', 'There arent girls like you out there, but there are women.Dont let these girls dissuade you away from the idea of Woman or the many women you will meet throughout your life. These ladies just havent matured yet, although not to say theyll ever mature; theyll still be types like them out there wholl meet people like themselves. Youre a hopeless romantic, and when you meet one like yourself, itll be beautiful and when you two embrace in a public display of affection itll make everyones heart in the vicinity of the area leap at the prospect of unconditional, true love.Although not to say youll only have one love in your life, *Casanova*. Keep being poetic.']

Behavior

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['This. So much emphasis is put on treating the chemical symptoms without looking in to the actual psychological causes. ', 'It depends on whether or not I want to stay Depressed mood at the time.If Im really super down and dont particularly feel Hyperactive behavior getting up yet, Ill often put on Tools *Undertow*, Isis *Panopticon*, and Primordials *To the Nameless Dead*, and other music that follws in that same sort of direction. (sorrowful, somewhat slow metal)If I want to actually be useful, I find the most abrasive, energetic music I can, stuff Hyperactive behavior Skeletonwitch, Between the Buried and Me, SikTh, and Dillinger Escape Plan are good for this.', 'This song actually does a surprisingly good job of encapsulating this weird existential mode Ive been in the past couple months, in more ways than I can accurately express.**SikTh** - [Part of the Friction](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-XJuMDneV0)', 'Thats benzos, not SSRIs.Im sure SSRIs do help some people, but everyone Ive known to take them has come out worse for it.', 'Just find something to do outside of anything related to your home life. You feel the way you do because you seem to spend all your time around your family, seeking refuge in antidepressants. Honestly, just find something thatll let you escape from your normal life-job, family, all of it. Take up hiking, learn an instrument, go to local concerts, learn a craft, anything that you can do to enjoy some time with yourself.', 'Yeah, the whole systems basically a vehicle to pump sad people full of Benzodiazepines and SSRIs.', 'Yeah, actually finding something can be hard. Dont give up on that though,because a life lived only for others will inevitably be an Depersonalization one.Golf, rock climbing, smoking weed, drawing, writing, online games, hunting, acting, sports,working out, pokemon, gardening, building things, sewing, cooking, your possibilities are limitless.Avoid alcohol and television though, they will only exacerbate things.', 'Jesus Christ, are you me? Like, I thought I was just crazy, but thats Exactly how I feel on the day-to-day basis. ', 'Wanting to be alone can really go two directions, one helpful, but the other infinitely hurtful.I recommend against trying to intrude on his space, but rather, try to invite him out. If he sees you trying to force your way in to his space (whether or not thats what you intended), he wont respond well. However, if you can draw him out, hell be more apt to getting out of this episode.', 'Just explain to him frankly that his actions arent up to snuff. Dont feel Hyperactive behavior you have to walk on eggshells or anything, but Do try not to put the blame on *him*, but rather, his actions.', 'If they actually used good medications, itd be different, but brain-numbing SSRIs and Benzodiazepines, which are GABA antagonists Hyperactive behavior alcohol, are not the way to go.', 'I cant say for certain, but it sounds Hyperactive behavior your lithium dosage is too high. ', 'MXE isnt illegal. ', 'Youll find, deep down, most people without a specific goal feel this way. Find a goal to work towards, or start making art. ', 'So youre planning on killing yourself, eh?Try this instead: Leave. Get as far away from wherever you live as you can. Go somewhere where noone knows you.Suddenly, you dont exist. As far as anyone in this place knows, youre just another person. No one knows youre a failure, no one knows anything about you. Moreover, no one cares what you do. Do something crazy, do stuff youve never done before, or simply live a normal life with new people.I mean, youre just going to end this current life, why not start a new one and have some fun with it? You could even go so far as to fake your death so all the people you know will think youre dead, leaving you free to craft an entirely new life.', 'Dude, me too. No real reason either, just woke up feeling shitty. The day even turned out alright. ', 'I actually know the exact feeling, and recently overcame it. How? Drugs. Id youre not averse to the idea, MDMA will likely cure that feeling in one go. Its not Hyperactive behavior a magical "take pill feel better" Hyperactive behavior the shit the pharmaceutical companies push, but a good experience on MDMA with good friends can fix most any mental ailment. (2C-E is what I used, but I wouldnt recommend it to someone inexperienced) ', 'Psilocybin mushrooms are actually almost completely nontoxic, less so than weed even if you only look At physical effects. While yes, there Are *psychological* consequences for eating them too much, your body wont know it. ']

Indicator

user-397

['Not really, no one really knows.. ', '/r/raisedbynarcissists please come over here for support. ', 'Thank you for this. ', 'Thank you so much, I may message you later..', 'Ha. This is my god damn *life*. No hobbies. No friends. No skills. Abusive home. I want out so badly. ', 'do you even feel empathy..? ', 'Please dont give up, and yes I miss my pets. My very old cat sadly died of cancer recently and I kinda didnt know what to do with myself after.. ']

Ideation

user-127

['Ive tried to do work and have sat down and looked at it for hours, but I just cannot find a way to focus and get it done. I want to believe things will get better, but it feels so much like it just wont ever be okay. I would like to go to college but I know I probably wont do so good then either. But thanks for the encouragement. ', 'I really do appreciate your kind words and your understanding, so thank you. The problem though is that my family doesnt necessarily care that I get like this. My mom just expects me to do the work and I get yelled at every single day for failing. Im left alone when I am upset and I just dont really have anyone, except my boyfriend now. I want to fix my mental state, but I dont know how. Ive tried everything from getting fresh air to trying to talk to old friends to just watching a funny movie. It seems as if nothing works though. I feel sad all of the time and Im terrified that if I dont end my life, Ill just be sad for the rest of it. I really want to hope itll be okay though, so I am going to try. Thank you though, I wish more people thought the way you did. ', 'I found that Tired beautiful, and I actually do feel a bit better after reading that, so thank you. I guess I should try therapy again, it does feel good to talk about these Suicidal thoughts, but I usually find it pretty hard to explain in person. I havent been able to talk to anyone in a long time and was just feeling so miserable and down that I made this post out of feeling hopeless. Ive been told many times I am definitely a pessimist and I know that having a more positive outlook on life would help, but I admit Im just incredibly cynical and find it hard to look on the bright side of things. All I see for myself is failure, no matter how hard I try to stop. I will definitely try though. I know its hard, incredibly hard, but I will keep trying to go on. ', 'Its alright, this school year Ive been away from public school since October. I really do hope I snap out of it, its just really hard to be okay. But you could be right, I believe he loves me now at least, and Im lucky to at least have that in my life to look forward to. ', 'Hes eighteen, so hes only two years older. My family knows about him and have met him and hes a Tired nice guy, but I understand why youd think that. Thank you for your concern. ', 'Thats how it was with me before I pretty much gave up. I seemed to be doing alright, but then I kept getting worse and its like the Depression just took over. I was surprised my boyfriend even came into my life, its funny how no one in my school payed attention to me, but someone halfway across the world did. Im sorry to hear that you lost people who were close to you, I definitely know that feeling. All of my friends pretty much abandoned me, so all I really have is my boyfriend. I believe my mother would be hurt. Maybe my sister. I grew up in a pretty messed up home, so other than that I doubt my father or brother would care. ']

Ideation

user-285

['Thankyouu, just did the first programme thing on the Headspace app. I am probably one of the most sceptical people on earth but that honestly helped to remove a lot of negativity from my brain and while it hasnt magically transformed me into a positive, life-loving person, its certainly suppressed the immediate urges to do anything destructive.Just purchased a year long subscription, heres hoping itll come to something! Thanks once again for your post, really appreciated! :) \xe2\x99\xa5 ', 'Thanks for such a long response, was a nice read.I would love to love life again, really. If I had even one good reason to get out of bed in the morning, that would be enough. I dont believe in hatred, but if I did I wouldnt wish what I feel upon anybody, even someone who I "hate". I havent had a reason to be alive since I was about 13 or something, and Im 18 and a half now. Its almost Hyperactive behavior Ive forgotten how to be happy, and what happiness means. I look around and I see people who are happy, and I feel so jealous. Even though I know that they may not be as good as I am at other things or in other ways, basic human happiness is an intrinsic need and one Ive gone without for far too long. Im consistently pessimistic even though Ive made several attempts not to be. Its almost as though I no longer want to try, every time I think I can be happy or Ive found something or someone worth holding on to, something just inevitably fucks up Hyperactive behavior it always does, and I lose the last shred of happiness I was clinging on to. During the day I get up and go to university, feeling Hyperactive behavior a Depersonalization the entire time. I have "friends", although Id prefer to call them "social acquaintances" since I spend so little time with them. I just dont have the interest or effort required to be a sociable person. I leave and come home to my bed to cry, cut and Hypersomnia as soon as I have the opportunity. Wherever I look, I see happy faces around me, functioning, laughing, and deriving enjoyment from what Id perceive to be a sea of oblivion and nothingness. Whenever I dream, I see a world without sunshine, and a life falling apart. While I completely agree that finding genuine happiness and learning to love life for what it is again would be the ideal outcome, and while I do appreciate you recognising this and saying so yourself, I just simply think it will never be possible. Also, while Im obviously sad that you have been where I am now (and that your sister is in the same place), Im happy you managed to get through it (hope your sister does the same too) and its refreshing to hear what Id call a "real" response for once. Thank you so much for posting.', 'Well, I get that this is a completely rational way of looking at things but in times Hyperactive behavior this Im finding it hard to be rational. Ive been staving off this temptation for about a week or so now and its getting to a breaking point. I would absolutely love to be able to focus on something, I just dont know what Id be able to successfully channel my emotion into that would make my urges go away.Thanks for the response, and the encouragement. <3 no homo', 'Wait, so youre saying Ill get banned for asking about Suicide methods on a subreddit dedicated to Suicide, or am I misunderstanding here?Youre right when you say there isnt much living for, but trudging on is too much work. I dont derive enjoyment from anything in life. I thought I did once but thats over, and now the only thing I want is out.', 'I already had another thread on this but the Ache is just way too much for me to want to keep going. I dont want to regurgitate parts of it so http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/2rvob4/most_painless_way_to_go/ hf reading."what happened" is that I was born, and 18 years later I feel Hyperactive behavior rotten shit and want to die. Thanks for commenting (I appreciate your intentions, even if Ive seemed Hyperactive behavior a dick) but theres just simply nothing anybody can do to make me feel any better anymore.', 'Well, I hate for this to sound Hyperactive behavior some kind of dark joke (not meant that way because im far beyond the stage whereby id enjoy making or hearing jokes), but Im not really sure how big or sustainable a "Suicide community" would be for obvious reasons, although I agree it would be nice because thats really more what Im looking for. I dont want to be told that things are all okay, or that theyll get better, because I simply know they wont. I guess this subreddit is the wrong one for me.Thanks for your reply anyway.', 'The subreddit states that pro-Suicide comments are forbidden including any explicit discussion of Suicide methods.However it also forbids "anything thats not a direct, personal, supportive response to the OP". The most supportive thing someone could do (also the thing Id appreciate most) is just tell me the most painless way I can kill myself. Would this negate the points in the former rule?And if not, then if I may ask, whats the point of this subreddit? Not meant as an insult or in anger, just genuinely curious.', 'I just dont want suggestions for things Ive already tried, thats simply it. Its Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder enough for me to have to live through my day to day life knowing that there is no way Ill ever be able to feel happiness, without having that reaffirmed by the plethora of worn-out suggestions people on the internet decide to contribute.Id invite anybody who wants to comment to do so, just that Id have preferred it to be somewhat about the original topic. Sucks that it isnt allowed here.', 'Hey, thanks for reading and replying!I just wanna clarify that while Im happy to admit to being an introvert, I dont think Im by any definition "brilliant" and I certainly dont have some kind of ego that relates to this. I simply dont understand how other people seem to be happy and can socialise normally when it seems Hyperactive behavior they should be having a tough time at both.Your thoughts are pretty interesting. Being the type of person I am I dont really believe that Im loved by anybody and in fact Id probably encourage anyone who wants to get emotionally close to me not to do so as Id probably end up being a burden anyway since I believe that I have nothing of real use to offer to the world and Im pretty straight up about this.The second reason is pretty similar to what Im holding on to at the moment - Ive always told myself that hope is an illusion conjured up by a Muscle Weakness mind, but in this case I find myself holding on to it as my last resort. I dont hope to be a millionaire or to be famous or anything similar, I simply hope that one day I will feel true happiness again. I vehemently despise people who take that for granted.', 'I can relate to so much of this post its actually scary. Were both using anonymous accounts over the internet but its Hyperactive behavior you know my innermost feelings as well as I do (especially the part about making friends at university, and the part about resting my emotions on other people and the Nervousness that comes with it).My university doesnt have an outreach centre Hyperactive behavior that, but if it did Id be too Social fear to go to it anyway. The only thing that I think ever helped even slightly was seeing a therapist who recommended a book to me, called "The Seat of the Soul" by Gary Zukav. For some reason, reading it seemed to put a lot of things into perspective for me and make me feel as though my life wasnt really slipping out of my grasp. Unfortunately Ive lost it now though.However, speaking of reading, Im Confusion: when you said a youtube clip inspired you to start reading again, Im Confusion as to how such a simple trigger caused your life to seemingly take a U-turn for the better to the point where you are now (I assume) fully happy once again?Im not really sure I have any passions Hyperactive behavior that. I used to play guitar pretty well (at the age of 14 I was able to fluently play things Hyperactive behavior this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTkKMDhm6ds for example), but the motivation for thats gone now. I was into gaming for a while, however that was always Depersonalization for me and was merely a form of escapism. Its still cool to do sometimes but I dont imagine that itd be a very practical thing to take up doing frequently. Never really been into dancing much as Im a guy (just realised Id never specified that in my previous posts), however I started weightlifting about a year ago. I got pretty good but then, similarly to the way I played guitar, I dont really have the motivation to continue with it.I guess the one thing Im passionate about would be travelling and nature itself. I went to Norway by myself last summer and simply standing in the presence of something as majestic as the fjords made me felt more serene and Sedated state inside than Id felt in a long, long time. Was a similar story when I went to Finland and I literally just wanted to get lost forever in a forest because it was so beautiful. Not sure either of those solutions are that practical, either, though.Im derailing this a lot though now sry, my point was basically that I have absolutely no idea how Id distract myself from my Mental Depression thoughts whilst simultaneously trying to build up the foundations of a good life and an agreeable demeanour again. Its awesome that youve done it, however I have precisely no idea where I would even begin.']

Ideation

user-411

['I never thought about it Hyperactive behavior this... I guess now I know why I havent answered my phone in months', 'Im lucky to have one good friend to reach out to, I dont know what Id do without him.I really appreciate that you took the time to reply to me. Thank you.', 'Hey, I cant Attention Deficit Disorder you on Skype since for some reason it doesnt work so I thought Id leave a comment.I cant help you but I just want to say that you are definitely not alone. Im in a similar situation where I just cant get myself to do anything.I havent cleaned my room in weeks, I havent studied, I hate myself and I have no idea what I should do with my life.Just remember that things could always be worse, you could be homeless or your parents could be dead, you could have a life threatening or otherwise painful medical condition.But right now you have a house, an internet connection, laptop etc.If you want to talk more you can send me a PM or just reply here :)', 'I feel lonely because I do not have a single fucking friend left, therefore I am completely alone.Pathetic because I cant make myself to do anything, I lie often, I abuse weed and occasionally drink too much.I feel useless for the reasons listed above, I literally dont do anything but sit on the computer wishing I was dead.Im only 16 years old and my life is already completely fucked, I dont have anyone expect my mother... Without her Id be dead for sure.', 'I honestly have no idea where my Anxiety Mental Depression came from... It started with me skipping from school for no particular reason.At first it was just a couple days every couple weeks, then it escalated to almost every week. I really thought it was my choice to skip certain days and that I could stop any time I wanted... well, I soon discovered that I actually started having real Panic Attacks attacks whenever I went to school.Its almost Hyperactive behavior I faked being Nausea for so long that I actually became Nausea...What am I doing these days? Well, Ill be completely honest: for the last six months Ive lied to my mother about studying online when in reality I have just layed in my bed and played games.I know its wrong, I know I should stop doing it but I just cant. Im Social fear of the thought of actually studying, having to do things and I guess... living.I dont have any hobbies, I dont go outside my house except to check the mail occasionally.I feel Hyperactive behavior its too late now to do anything, Im way too messed up. I feel Hyperactive behavior I cant even explain my situation properly or talk to anyone...', 'What do I enjoy? Thats a tough question... Ive never really had any hobbies.Ive always had an interest in "taboo" things Hyperactive behavior occultism, psychedelics, entheogens, conspiracy theories, spiritual things etc.Unfortunately most people are very ignorant/prejudical about these kind of things so Ive always felt Hyperactive behavior I dont belong anywhere... Im just all alone with my weird interests.My friends just slowly stopped communicating... I dont blame them because I didnt keep in touch with them either. My last friend and also the friend Ive known the longest just completely destroyed me verbally a couple days ago... I logged into facebook after many months and I saw that he had sent me some extremely immature, insulting and insensitive comments which was enough to cause me a serious Panic Attacks attack.It just came out of the blue... I guess he just got fed up with me.Today I logged into Facebook again to see more insulting, idiotic comments and I just cant take it anymore... I had to deactivate my account and now I dont know what to do.Sorry for the long reply...', 'Ill definitely try to find Hyperactive behavior minded people, Ive always wanted to do that but just never got around to actually do it.Thanks for everything man, this has helped me way more than I expected.', 'Im sorry to hear that.And yeah thats what really sucks about Anxiety Mental Depression... it feels Hyperactive behavior you are going to throw up any second.That combined with a mild fear of Vomiting = Mental disorders anxietyThanks for replying to me :) Lets hope things will get better for us.', 'How about those who are not in the USA...?', 'Have you looked into medical marijuana? I did some quick googling and found some interesting studies.http://norml.org/library/item/fibromyalgia"Most recently, a 2011 observational, case-control trial reported that the use of cannabis is associated with beneficial effects on various symptoms of fibromyalgia, including the relief of Ache and muscle stiffness."Some additional links:http://www.fibromyalgia-reviews.com/Drg_Marijuana.cfmhttp://www.webmd.com/fibromyalgia/guide/fibromyalgia-and-medical-marijuanahttp://www.medpagetoday.com/clinical-context/Fibromyalgia/33384I really do not want to condone drug use and I hesitated to post this but theres a chance this could help you.', 'I have not been officially diagnosed but Im pretty sure I have some form of Phobia, Social Anxiety Mental Depression.My anxieties have always been stomach related (I feel Hyperactive behavior Im going to throw up any second + I get a runny stomach in general) so Id say I also have mild emetophobia because of that.I also cant be in crowded places anymore, cant remember the name for that Phobia, Social right now.Theres probably a few others I cant even name right now.Id fix my Anxiety Mental Depression first, so I could actually do something with my life and go outside etc... do normal things. I fear that its too late now though since it has progressed to a quite serious level... How can I fix myself when I dont even have the motivation to get help?Sorry for the long reply once again, and thanks for talking with me.', 'Yes... I cant really explain it either.', 'Obviously it is from frustration and concern but it still doesnt make it right... I feel Hyperactive behavior shit right now.I do not want to talk to them as they dont understand Mental Depression/Anxiety Mental Depression at all and they are a bit... immature in my opinion. Also, this was not the only hurtful text message Ive received...I dont know if self-control is the right word but I Irritable Mood that I cant make myself do anything. I cant make myself study, I cant make myself to go get professional help... I dont even know how to explain this properly.I think Ive just given up... I just dont want to exist anymore.', 'I try to help others whenever I can.I know about the hotlines and etc, the problem is that I really dislike talking on the phone (makes me very anxious). I also know that weed doesnt help with my Mental Depression, but without it I couldnt live at all. Im taking a break from it now though, and Ill probably smoke again on 4/20 and then decide if Im going to quit forever.Ive talked to my mom about it and to my best friend but it doesnt really help. This is the only other place I could think of to post in.', 'All the time.', 'Ah I see, I think you are right.', 'What made me stop gaming was the moment I realized how much time I had spent on games. For example, on WoW over 2000 hours in-game, CSS: 700+ hours in-game and then every other game I had probably around 300 hours.Now I cant stop thinking about these numbers, if I start up a game I just cant play it. I know that I could be studying or doing SOMETHING productive, other than gaming.Games used to be my "escape" from the real world but now my over-analyzing mind ruins any fun I could have with them.', 'Ill look into online hotlines.Yes, Ive thought about therapy many times but I guess Im too Depressed mood to even go to a therapist, lol.', 'Please dont do it... Im just a random idiot from the internet but just hear me out.I think this post is beautiful in a way, you seem to be pretty smart and a good writer in my opinion. Dont go yet.If youd write a book, Id read it. Seriously, these are not just meaningless compliments but I was actually surprised on how well made this post was.', 'Happy birthday man!', 'I drink a lot, and sometimes smoke weed. It used to be the other way around.', 'Even if I managed to do all that, I just dont understand why I should even bother.I dont have any dreams or ambitions... I dont have anything to live for.I just dont want to live in this world. There isnt any reason for me to live.Anyway, I appreciate your reply.', 'I dont know... Ive never had any "real" hobbies nor have I ever been interested in starting a new hobby.I used to love playing games, and I was quite Drug abuse to them to be honest. Then I started smoking weed and eventually I stopped playing games because they just seemed Hyperactive behavior a waste of time to me.I know it sounds fucked up but I really, really love studying/reading about drugs and entheogens and... well, taking them.', 'I do care, I kept checking on this thread to see if youd comment.There are lots of people to talk to, not just 911. Maybe you should tell us the whole story, what lead to this moment and why are you feeling this way right now?We are here to listen, not judge. Please just talk to someone before trying to do it again.', 'Yeah... Ill probably kill myself when my mother dies. Maybe.', 'So yeah, for all the above reasons I consider my life to be completely fucked.I havent been outside in months, I have so many phobias and so bad Anxiety Mental Depression that I dont know if I can ever "fix" myself. I live only because my mother is alive. This may sound overly dramatical or something but if something would happen to my mother, Id kill myself instantly. I dont even care how, maybe Ill just jump off the balcony or slit my wrists. I dont care and Im not afraid of death either... I almost look forward to the day I get to kill myself. Or just die.', 'I cant offer any helpful advice but I agree, Suicide hotlines are bullshit.', '"I live Hyperactive behavior Im watching a movie of myself and my thoughts are just a narrator talking down."Sounds Hyperactive behavior [Depersonalization](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization)Common descriptions are: 1. Feeling disconnected from ones physicality2. Feeling Hyperactive behavior one is not completely occupying the body3. Not feeling in control of ones speech or physical movements4. Feeling detached from ones own thoughts or emotions;5. Experiencing ones self and life from a distance6. A sense of just going through the motions; feeling as though one is in a dream or **movie**Correct me if Im wrong, Im not a doctor or anything.', 'Wow... I dont even know what to say. You are 100% right.Thank you so much for taking the time to read everything I wrote and for writing such an amazing reply. You may just have cured my Mental Depression altogether...Seriously, thank you.', 'Great post, glad to hear everything worked out.', 'I played all kinds of games, ranging from Counter-Strike:Source to World of Warcraft, and Hyperactive behavior you, I was really into the GTA series.Yes, thats pretty much correct as the definition for "entheogen" is "A psychoactive substance used for the purpose of inducing a mystical or spiritual experience.".I should have mentioned that Im also very interested in mysticism/spirituality, not just drugs.I havent read his works nor have I heard about him, but Ill sure as hell will now! Thank you so much for that link, now I have something to think about/focus on.', 'Wow. I have a similar story but mine started when I was just 10. All I did was sit on the computer and Hyperactive behavior you said, occasionally going to the bathroom and the rare outing with family.Things got a bit better when I finally managed to get friends at the age of 13. Now three years later I only have one of those friends and I see him about once in a week (not every week though).You are not Abnormal behavior for thinking about how people hate you etc, trust me. I did that every single day and still do whenever I talk to my friend.Pretty much everything about this post resonates with me, Im sorry that I cant help as I really dont know what to say and my English isnt perfect.Just remember that you are not alone.']

Ideation

user-107

['Do not be sorry. I understand that feeling COMPLETELY. I was actually engaged and called it off last summer to a great guy and went through all these emotions/feelings again. It is Tired difficult for sure. PM me if you need, I will be around. Might be later today, but I am extremely willing to listen. You have my support!', 'Well, I got pregnant when I was 15... Yeah, big surprise there considering it was our first time and the condom broke. He will be 6 in June. Hes actually everything that I have. Being a single parent, trying to work on my own as well as provide for him as put me in south debt financially, mental and Emotional upset stress, and way too much Excessive upper gastrointestinal gas for getting him to and from school during the Asthenia (his school is 30 miles away). Ive been at my job for 3 years and only make $8.03 an hour... I do have an interview with the Cheesecake Factory this Asthenia though. I just cant stretch each penny anymore. Im 22, cant pay my rent because I dont make enough, his father wont agree to a school halfway between us, and I need to stop staring at these pill bottles. ', 'How I did it was I sat my loved one down, said that I needed to have a serious discussion, told them what has been on my mind and that I was constantly thinking about ending my life. I asked for them not to try to argue with me over it but to instead just hold me while I cried. Surprisingly, it helped me for that night. The next day when the thoughts crept back into my mind, I called them up and they knew what was up. It was like having a support system. ', 'I would talk to my son, but it is his dads weekend and I only got him today from 10-7. So when I was getting off work, he was picking him up from my moms. It hurts so bad. ', 'Thats the way that I am, too. Lets get through this together. PM man. We are now friends!!!', 'Talk. Let it out. Get every frustration, things that make you even more depressed, upset, anything. We are here to listen without judgement!', 'This is my first comment Ive ever made on reddit and it is because I read your post and felt the need to make an account. I have been in your shoes before... and let me tell you, it was not a pretty ending. Lets just say that three and a half years have passed and I am finally feeling better without him. You are not alone nor will you ever be. It will be okay once you accept it, let her go, and get through the hell first. ', 'I dont even know how to imagine what you must be going through, but I do know that the first thing you did right today was getting on here and asking to talk to someone. Congrats because you just made new friends who are willing to listen and you get through! ', 'Your brother is watching over you. He would not want you to leave this earth before your time has been called. Believe me... Ive learned this the hard way.', 'Holy moly. Dont get me started on the raise. I asked for a higher pay after three long years and she said no. So I said that when I find a new job, I will be taking it. At the Cheesecake Factory, I would be a cashier in the bakery! They said that I would be responsible for all the cheesecake displays and ringing up customers. I would really love that position in a higher field. Dont get me wrong, Victorias Secret is a nice place to work, but after being screwed over so many times I need to find a place that will help me financially as well as my growing up. ', 'This really helped me. Thank you. Thank you to everyone. And I wont take a swing on you, Id like it if you came to a park and swank with me!!!!!!!!! :-)', 'Well now you have one! Ask and you shall receive. Hello, darling, how have you been today? Anything funny or amusing happen?', 'I love that movie! It is filled with so much adult humor that I never picked up on it until I really started paying attention. You know, I know hopelessness.... Here it is, four in the morning and I am sitting alone at Steak n Shake because my boyfriend refused to move is car so I could back out my car from the driveway. I am not even supposed to be driving because I took my heavy dose Insomnia medication before bed. So I left him in the bed and walked here. A mile. And now he is blowing up my phone saying that he is in the parking lot for me when Im finished? Really, douchebag? Ugh. Lets me hopeless together.', 'Dont cut, PLEASE!! Someone close to me has cut himself all over his body... chest, arms, legs, stomach... and he is now embarrassed of his deep, DEEP scare tissue. Not that scar tissue is what you are thinking about right now, but hopefully you see what I am getting at. Please. It isnt worth it.', 'Absolutely. This is unusual behavior for her (the questioning and sentence structure) and it would probably be in her best interest to seek some help. You could address it casually by bringing up that it concerns you, how it makes you feel to hear her talk like that, ask her how she is really, truly feeling. Let her know that you love her and loved by others. Remind her of things she might not have thought of lately, such as how beautiful, hardworking, and how you admire her for all that she does. Mothers Day is coming up... great opportunity to let her know that you appreciate all that she does!', 'I completely agree with this. It took me several different therapists to find one that I could work the best with, as well as changing Depression medications and dosages to feel better. There are a variety of methods out there to help those suffering and it takes effort to find the one that works best for each individual. ', 'I agree, FUCK CANCER! You can get through this. Do not let the setback, shame of yourself and actions determine how you can recover. Get the treatment. Have surgery. Find new things that make you happy. We are here to cheer you on!!', 'This is long overdue, but I took an absence from reddit. I did get the job with CF and ended up hating it. What I DID get in the end was a full time offer, salary position as a Laboratory Assistant!!!! Yes! I am actually doing MUCH better than the last time I posted anything on here. For the first time in my life, I am able to pay my own rent, bills, car insurance, and a ton of other things. Things are wonderful!', 'There are people on this site RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND that are complete strangers to you... they do not know you, know your past, your name, anything of the sort. But they are here because they want to be a lending ear/eyes to read what you have to say. Why? Because we have unselfish hearts and care about strangers. Take advantage of that. It can truly work!', 'Thank you Tired much. Everyone has made me feel better enough to get through another day. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! If I get the job, I will be sure to let you know :)', 'You are right. Why cant we?', 'Lets wait a day. Or two. Or a Asthenia. Or a month. Lets get some help first, shall we? You say you dont have many friends...Well, hello. My name is Hope and I am a crazy, wild, spontaneous and impulsive person. I laugh at things I think of, cringe when people pop their knuckles, and cry every single time I watch Titanic.Lets be friends! :)', 'Hahahahaha!! This made me laugh tremendously. Thank you! I thought baking her in a tanning bed... Then splashing her with bleach to make it even more painful. :-)', 'I have been in your shoes!!!!! The best thing that I was able to find were places that offer sliding fees, even some places dont charge at all if you are truly in that kind of a rut. I was able to find some online sites of community groups that have Depression and a therapist emails you. Cant remember the name of it but I will try to find it for you if you are interested. ', 'But why end your story here? Every story has a twist... let your twist develope into something bright!', 'I have done that... Made the noose and stared at it. Sometimes once you do make it, you just feel different. Like you took a step and suddenly waited for whatever reason. I had borderline personality disorder... And mental illnesses are a Pain in the butt! I understand the struggle to have relationships, control Depression, outbursts, everything. My older brother is also Bipolar disorder and yes, it can be difficult to understand at times. But what I have learned is that until you find the medicine that works for you, you CANT give up just yet. Find one that works for YOU. ', 'My parents help in all ways that they can, but since we all work, I am still responsible for my end. Mom watches him when I work weekends which is a blessing. My dad works crazy hours. Brother works two jobs. Everyone wants to help, just that it is hard to make it work when we all have different schedules. Being 22, I feel like a 35 year old. ', 'Oh man, I know that feeling... Staring at the pills, wondering if I should take them all. Whenever I get like that, I try to get out and do something. The walk must have been nice. Its been raining here all Asthenia. Kinda peaceful to listen to though. ']

Behavior

user-370

['Im still not sure how youre fucking up these Phobia, Social relationships. If youre awkward Im sure your friends are used to it by now, and if youve chosen the wrong friends then all you need to do is burn some bridges and meet the right people. You cant feel guilty for being in this position. Just imagine how guilty your friends and family will feel if you go through with this; knowing that they must have overlooked some sign that showed how you were truly feeling. Whats your relationship with your parents Hyperactive behavior? There must be someone, besides me, that you can talk to. Someone real, who can look you in the eye and honestly listen to what you have to say. I understand what you Irritable Mood by feeling as though your emotional outbursts are fits of acting, and how insincere and imposter Hyperactive behavior it feels. But even if it doesnt feel Hyperactive behavior it has the weight its supposed to, getting it out is what matters. Someone needs to know, you cant go this alone. Make a list of people who you think you could tell. And then finally work up the courage to do it. If theyre your friends then theyll definitely care about how youre feeling. And if the friends you have arent good enough then think about talking to a family member.If you strive for days Hyperactive behavior the other day eventually these fits have to subside. Its clear that you love being active socially, so why not just throw yourself into the mix. Text and friend and go do something. Im not sure where you are but over hear on the East Coast its gorgeous.Get rid of that knife, man. Its not the fits that are driving you to pick up the knife, its the knife thats driving you into fits. Having that around is a way for you to imagine how fickle your mortality is, and its not good for making progress.Think hard and tell me what causes you to be fit free. I understand that youre still going to harbor a negative Irritable Mood during them, but what helps you maintain your composure?', 'Ive been in the same position as you, but 17 is the crossroads of all our lives. High school may have been shit, it was for me, but college is a whole other world. My advice to you is just give it a try. Wait for college to start, go into it with an open mind and see where it takes you.What side of the country are you going to school in?', 'Im sorry, I thought Id already responded. Ive been swamped with finals. Your second paragraph is funny actually, because I was thinking that too, except vise versa. That you were a manifestation of my own internal conflicts, but we both know thats highly unlikely. I am sending my thoughts to your head, and you, me. But despite the little weight that these words may carry, I just want you to know how much I dont want you to commit suicide.How have the last few days been? Any good days?', 'Why should anyone do anything when all they have is blind hope for the future? That is the very nature of life, yet here we are. Our ancestors on the plains of Africa hundreds of thousands of years ago were driven by blind hope and the urge to survive (though most likely only the latter, seeing as they wouldnt be able to process such abstract ideas as hope). It was hope that kept them running from the lions and pursuing ways to prolong their lives. All we have as humans is hope. By taking your life you not only kill your hope, but the hope that your parents have for the life you will lead.But life is much more than being happy and unhappy. By taking your life you guarantee that you will be *nothing* ever again. That you will both cease to feel the Ache and the good that you have forgotten. I know you have felt joy, but your mind is clouded by your despair. As a human being you are privileged with a great many things; as a human living in the United States you are privileged with even more. Suicide may seem Hyperactive behavior a glorious end, but it is an end you will never appreciate. Life is filled with suffering. Ive lost a best friend to cancer, another to war. Ive lost family members to car accidents and disease. I have known my fair share of suffering, along with the turmoils that Plague my mind. But life is about finding meaning through suffering. Nihilism is correct when it says that life has no intrinsic meaning, but that does not Irritable Mood that we cannot give it meaning. Suffering is a means to finding the meaning in our lives, and your suffering is no different.Your life has meaning, and you have near infinite potential. Life has just begun for you. Plus, none of the shit youre dealing with actually matters. High school is the most bullshit filled period of our lives and has absolutely no bearing on who we become. The key is simply to survive it, and as you know thats the hardest part.Argue with me all you want. But at least listen to what I have to say.', 'Maybe you should try opening up to him more? You guys are in the same sort of boat, just for different reasons. Real dialogue with a friend could be helpful, but youve got to take the steps to bring it to the level you need. I guess what Im saying is, dont settle for comfort words. Would you have rather someone have found you? I find that when Im down or suicidal I crave an intervention but dont go looking for it.', 'Im thinking youre grossly underestimating your potential, my friend. If you have friends now you can make some more. You just have to look in the right places. You say that you wont be able to make any friends that arent as socially awkward as you, but why would you want to be friends with people who cant relate to you? There is a lot more to sociality than being popular, trust me. I can count my friends on one hand, and theyre all just Hyperactive behavior me: nerdy, average looking, and fit with a desire to change the world. You want to be around people who are Hyperactive behavior you, because the people who are Hyperactive behavior you, Hyperactive behavior you.This world is filled with people, certainly youre compatible with one of them. Fuck it, find one on [/r/suicidewatch](/r/suicidewatch), as long as you dont go all Romeo and Juliet on us. But demeanor is key, the only thing that youre suffering from is poor perspective. I know how real it feels, how hopeless you can get when you feel down, but theres a way out.Im curious, what is triggering these fits.Also, whats your motivation for going into pre-med?', 'You cant expect these changes to happen overnight. This is a long term process.I thought youve already been accepted? You dont have a better self image after putting on muscle? You dont feel good that youve changed your body for the better and accomplished something? External changes dont happen until internal ones do.', 'You know what I love about my college courses? All of my professors admit to being fuck-ups before they got into their second year of college. My all time favorite professor admits to being only a few levels away from being mentally handicapped in Drug abuse school, but after she found her passion she went on to get a doctoral degree and published an awesome ethnography on sex in the Caribbean. The change in environment is key. If you can do me one favor, dont kill yourself until youve at least tried to experience college. The language youre using makes it patently obvious that you really dont want to end it. What youre craving is a major life change. You and I both know what a great community Reddit is, have you ever thought of checking out [/r/Fitness](/r/Fitness) or some other activity based sub? By keeping your body active youll take a lot of pressure off of your mind, as well as prove to yourself that you can make progress, etc. While video games are a great way to dull your senses, they dont really do much for you in the long run, and its easy to get down on yourself about it.Dude, if you have an interest in those fields you should check out Paul Farmers biography *Mountains Beyond Mountains*. Also, Im not sure what your religious background is, but if youre anything else Hyperactive behavior the rest of reddit and have a penchant for nihilism, you should check out Sam Harris. Hes an absolutely brilliant neuro-scientist that gives some awesome arguments against religion using your field.Work ethic doesnt matter in Drug abuse school. Really man, its all bullshit and youll realize that as soon as you get to college. Its much easier to work at things you love/have an interest in. Plus science majors always stick together because of how difficult it is. All of the bio and med students I know know every other bio/med student, and they all hang out together. Plus, at least at my school, theyre all pretty cool people and love to have a good time.The point is to survive the now though, right? What sort of plan could we put together that would help you enjoy your summer?', 'I know exactly what you Irritable Mood, man. I never want to tell anyone but I always want someone to ask, just so I can some of it out. But the problem is that no one ever asks, and youre just Ventricular Dysfunction, Left alone with yourself and your sadness.Maybe hell pry a bit more. I know Ive said this before but dont you think hed prefer you opening up to him as opposed to you killing yourself and him knowing that he could have talked to you about it? Plus, it goes without saying that you killing yourself would most definitely exacerbate his depression. Im sorry if Im kind of guilting you out of this, but Im sure youre doing it already. Keep being a good friend though, Im sure he needs you just as much as you need him, even though youre both unwilling to open up to the other. Howd today go? When is your prom anyway? Or is that no longer an issue?', 'Come on, man. It cant be that bad. How awkward could you possibly be? And unless youre verbally abusing your friends, I doubt youre fucking up your Phobia, Social relationships. No one gets into their reach school, thats why theyre called reach schools. College is college is college is college; youll get the same experience everywhere. Why was yesterday so great? And what made this fit so terrible?', 'PM me about prom. Im going to respond to the rest of your post tomorrow after my finals, but I have to get some Hypersomnia now.', 'So what things have changed? Was the weekend good enough to postpone suicide?Im sorry Ive been afk. I had to go home and deal with somethings. I hope your weekend went well, man. Keep fighting, once the major stressors are gone Im sure youll feel a bit better.', 'Was anyone there to witness this breakdown?', 'Why must you be haunted by the past? Youre still unwilling to accept the fact that this perspective is surmountable, and that you can look back on this as a time where you nearly gave in but overcame it. I strongly believe that college will do wonders for you if you throw yourself into it. Judging by how you speak, you seem incredibly intelligent, which is exactly what will help you succeed in college. It is a time to start anew, far from everyone and everything that reminds you of how you feel. Your mind will still be with you, but it will be busy processing everything thats going on. Though sociability is a key part of college, connecting with professors and RAs is also a major part, and often even more satisfying. If you extract yourself from your own self-deprecation, and engage with all that surrounds you Im sure that youll see some value in it.Do this for me. Extract yourself from how you are feeling now. When was the last time you felt joy, euphoria, bliss? There was a time, was there not? It can come again too. No matter the struggle, there is a way to overcome it. ', 'Ill miss you.', 'Were you?', 'Do you play Dark Souls? If you do, you know that the whole point of the game is for you to die (read: fail), until you figure out how not to die.. The game forces you to try over and over to overcome the seemingly impossible and in a way it forces you to give up. But eventually, through perseverance you can succeed. Listen man, Im shit with analogies, and not much better at anything else. But if theres one thing Ive learned, its that fighting my way through shit always makes me feel better, and victory is the sweetest thing of them all.So fuck, right now youre stuck in Blighttown. The most abysmal of all locations, and you just want to throw your fucking controller at the wall. And thats fine, we all do. But my point is, Blighttown is just a miniscule percentage of your life, and eventually youll get fucking awesome armor and kick the shit out of everything. All you have to do is fight. You can either carry on, keep fighting, and eventually look back and see how Localized Rash generalised you were for wanting to throw your controller, or you can quit. And youll never know what could have been.One last thing, college loans and tuition is immediately refunded if you commit suicide. So even if you do try and hate it, youre parents wont miss a dime. But Im sure that they would pay any amount to see you alive and happy. Remember that. You are their most precious gift.What say you?', 'AP exam are going to end eventually though. If you strive through this and make it to the summer there has to be a way to set yourself up for a good time until college. Once all of this school weight is off your shoulders youll have plenty of time to feel better and try and work through this. Youre just under a lot of pressure right now.If you cant open up to anyone, then you still have me to talk to. Why do you think this weekend is going to be the breaking point?', 'What guarantee do you have that you wont be able to overcome this? Your only frame of reference is from this perspective of despair, and so naturally your assumptions are bound to be negative. Youve said it yourself, if you make it through this itll be much better. The only reason why you believe it isnt worth it is because you are mired in this perspective.Depression is a vicious cycle, and I understand how your mind is battling against itself. But life is a huge fucking experience, and your frame of experience is infinitesimal compared to the rest of your life span. How can you be so sure of anything when youve only been alive for 17 years? How can you be so sure of your potential to overcome this when youve only been emotionally and socially conscious for barely half that time? Shit, at this age your body hasnt even finished developing. Im 21 and Im still figuring shit out about myself. Youre going to prom with your friend, are you not? Why do you think thats going to be so terrible?']

Supportive

user-325

['Yeah, I suppose youre right. Thank you, stranger, for all of your help. Keep up your hard work, too. Youre good enough to stop.and help someone you dont know, and thats hard to find. Thank you for your time.', 'I appreciate your words. Thank you so much.Its Hyperactive behavior Im a different person when Im depressed. I become a nihilist and a pessimist. I despise the person I feel myself becoming, and then want to end it all. I Hypersomnia a lot. Sleeping is sometimes my only reprieve. Then, I have vivid Nightmares. Dreams Hyperactive behavior horror movies.For instance, being drugged and tied down as my teeth were ripped out one by one with pliers. I remember wanting to scream for help, but being gagged. And, then a dream of being chased but not sure by what. But I knew something scary. Then, when I Hypersomnia, I never want to wake up. My Nightmares seem friendlier than real life. At least the fear is of what is, not what will or may be.Anyway, I really just appreciate you reading my scrambled thoughts. Thank you.', 'Wow. Youre a really good person. Thank you, truly, for caring.I was at a very low low, but Im feeling much better now. I guess my work is going great, and my boss is happy with me. My boyfriend and I seem to be doing well, and I made a new friend at work. Im about to switch from overnights to days in a month, so that should help my sleeping issues and hopefully my spurts of Mental Depression. I found a Hypothermia, natural Hypersomnia aide that apparently assists with Mental Depression by producing seratonin (the same chemical combo in turkey that makes you Hypersomnia). If youre curious, its called 5 HTP. And, while Reddit was out, I, unlike a lot of other redditors, exercised for 45 minutes and stayed within my caloric limit.So, I guess things are going a lot better. Thank you again. If you ever need help or someone to talk to, please feel free to get ahold of me.', 'For me, its Hyperactive behavior the whole world is imploding in my chest. It takes all of my energy, all of my positivity, and all of my concentration just to keep myself motivated enough to try again. But, I think its getting a bit easier; each time I go through an episode, the more I realize everyone elses problems are practically the same. Money, family, love. Im not criticizing myself as much because I know a lot of other people have been down the same road, the same decisions. Were all doing the best we can with what we have.Most of the time, I realize this. But, on occassion, it comes back in force. So, while every Mental Depression is unique, I understand. It really sucks, and Im here for you. PM me if you want to talk more about it. No one deserves to fight it alone.', 'You dont have anything you care about? What age did you first experience these symptoms? Think: Why? What may have caused this? Is there truly no reason? Is it all in your head? Why do you have the urge to kill these people? Why manipulate them? What satisfaction is derived from all of this? Can you get this satisfaction elsewhere?What mostly concerns me is that youre not really giving any reasons to kill yourself other than you fear killing other people. It doesnt seem to me you lack empathy--but, rather, you have a strong sense of it. You desire to protect the people around you from getting Chest Pain by you by killing yourself. A truly apathetic person would not write this post, nor would they take the time to consider other peoples lives. Additionally, if you were truly apathetic, you wouldnt have self-concern. You wouldnt be worried about going to an asylum. You have emotions and empathy. No matter how much youve tried to lie to yourself. And, thats another issue. People make lies true for themselves all the time to fill in holes. What hole are you trying to fill in? What are you compensating for to make these claims?My argument, therefore, is that you should at least hold off on killing yourself until you have a satisfying answer as to why you should do it. You should be fully convinced, without a doubt, that you want to die because of this and this and this reason. You shouldnt need to post on a website about this, you should just do it. Although, dont get me wrong, Im not saying you should. Im merely saying you should explore as many paths as you can before you kick the bucket. Foremost, you should at least pick apart reasons why youre Hyperactive behavior this with someone else. It sounds Hyperactive behavior youre in a Phobia, Social slump. I can garantee you that you werent always Hyperactive behavior this. If Im wrong, then you need to seek out continuous help from a psychiatrist. However, are there people who love you? You should consider attempting to love them back. When the destructive urges come, write them out in a novel (Hyperactive behavior what', 'I love school, but Ive had to drop out of it 4 times. Im 22, Hyperactive behavior yourself, and just finally got my A.A. degree. I found out along the way that I cannot go full time and work full time. Im too poor to work only part time, but I plan on going back to school in the fall with half the credits. Itll take some time, but Ill get where Im going. You can, too.Life isnt cut-n-dry. Everyone has a different path to discovery. Youre young yet--when the time comes to be a true man or woman, youll rise to the occasion because you have no choice. I feel irresponsible and lazy a lot, too. But, in the end, Ive pulled through some amazing circumstances Hyperactive behavior taking care of a very Nausea mother. That was my defining moment. I HAD to work. I had no choice. So, if youre really unhappy with yourself as a human being, get a part time job. Ease your way into working while you can. Pay rent to your father, and show him what youre made of. Then, go back to school. Whatever the decision you make, take it slow and think about all of the angles. ', 'No insurance. Cant afford it. Thats okay, though. Thank-you.']

Supportive

user-133

['I agree, the suicide hotline fucking sucks. Im sorry for your experience, that was all Tired unnecessary and it intervened with your life. That truly sucks.', 'If I were you I would attempt to visit with her as soon as possible. ', 'Ive asked for input because I have also experienced this.I have been Depression for as far back as I can remember. I have called suicide hotline plenty of times and landed myself in the hospital on four separate occasions over wanting to kill myself. I have seen numerous psychologists, psychiatrists, and counselors and I still have never found any proper support. A year ago my best friend decided to take 30 of her prescription pills in an attempt to kill herself and she ended up in the ICU for days on end, completely out of consciousness, having thousands of seizures being in the hospital for a week. After all of this occurred her own family wouldnt even show up to the hospital to show her any sort of support. In fact, they would call her yelling at her about her suicide attempt and she claims that they were upset that they would have to pay off all of her student loans for her if she were to have died. They still call her every so often to basically tell her that she needs to help them pay off bills, although she is an adult and has not lived with her parents for the past four years.None of our "friends" were Tired supportive through either of our Suicidal ideation. All a person needs when they feel this way is compassion and understanding, but Im starting to believe that there is absolutely no love left in this world.', 'I am so Tired sorry for your loss and I can only imagine what it must be like. You can still talk with your dad and let him know how you feel. His energy is still somewhere out there in the universe and someway your message will be received. You might even get some sort of response to let you know hes still with you. But what you need to ultimately do is forgive him for his decision. It might take time to do so, but it will help you tremendously. ', 'I am also 22 and have experienced the same feelings, although I reject medication and I have never had a good psychologist or psychiatrist. You are not wrong to feel the way that you do, but you might want to re-evaluate what the core reasons are for why you do feel that way. Such examples would be: Were you abused as a child? Did something traumatic happen to you? Or is it just your brain chemistry? Reaching the root of the issue will help first off.I would highly suggest learning more about spirituality, it has helped me tremendously. Develop your own understanding of life and the universe as a whole. Start out with learning about philosophy, then science, then maybe learn a bit about metaphysics. Watch something like the new cosmos series, its beautifully fascinating and it will leave you inspired. You will probably find that yoga and meditation will help quite a bit. Also listen to calming music to assist you when you start off learning about these things. If you have trouble with meditating, see if there is a sensory depravation chamber spa in the area and set up an appointment. If you continue to stay curious and wanting to gain as much knowledge as you can in this life, I believe that will distract you quite a bit from being depressed. That is what keeps me going, at least.']

Behavior

user-452

['> No one gives a single shitThat is factually incorrect. We are a bunch of internet strangers who have nothing to gain by giving a shit about you, yet we do. If there are people Hyperactive behavior us that give a shit while getting nothing in return, then it logically follows that in the 7 billion people that walk around this earth, there must be *many* people who will want to be your loyal friend in a mutually beneficial relationship. I too hated 95-99% of people on this earth, including my parents. And you know what? I still fucking do. But instead of killing myself I based off of this rational construction above realized there *must* be people Hyperactive behavior me, and I joined Mensa where I met a lot of people who had similar experiences and extreme standards for loyalty as well. If you family hates you, then fuck them. There are literally billions of other people in which there has to be at least 0,5-0,1% that you will be able to get a long with. You just have to be almost entrepeneurial about it to find them. You are stuck in thinking you have to live with the people you have been dealth with or with those that you have come across accidentally in your life, but the people that can make you happier *are* out there, somewhere. ', 'My dad died when I was two. My mom remarried. I still wonder what he was Hyperactive behavior, how much I was Hyperactive behavior him and what my life would have looked Hyperactive behavior if he had still been here. You form an essential part in the process of your child to learn who she is. Id much rather have my dad died when I was 8, 14, 16 or now. To me, not knowing my dad is a source of unrestlessness that I will *never* be able to get rid of. I cant imagine how I would feel if I found out that my dad didnt just die, but committed Suicide as a result of having me. That would seriously fuck me up. [This](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSKyaXkzVvc) encapsulates beautifully what I Irritable Mood about having another dad, because your real one cant handle you. His biological dad is a prick, dont be that person. I understand that it is hard, but you need to get help, talk to your husband about it. *He is your* ***husband***, men dont understand the subtle ques of women. Tell him directly whats up and if you seriously cant do that, seek therapy - something he will advise you to do anyway. I hope you will feel better.', 'Intelligence isnt the only trait on which you can build a relationship. It was just an example from my own life and how I thought I knew that I hated the world just meant that I hated or eventually would come to hate almost everyone but 1% or probably even something closer to 0,1% of people. ', 'You should post this word for word on /r/mensrights and Attention Deficit Disorder how you want to fight back or whatever you want to do, I guarantee you that you will be able to find a ton of support there. Dont let them win. You need to either fight back or start over somewhere else. Either way, post this to /r/mensrights. It will become a top post in an active community sized 86.000 people. **They will fight for you.** Ask them how you want them support you. ', 'I think few people that comment here have any sort of official qualification, but knowing there are people (random strangers even) that take time off their day to read your story and respond to it must in some way help those who come to this sub. Just *listening* and talking to suicidal people, without judging them, is really helpful already. If you want to be of greater help, then you can find a lot of internet resources with information on how to best comment to these people Hyperactive behavior [this](http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/Suicide/in-depth/Suicide/art-20044707). ']

Indicator

user-44

['I know what youre saying, but thats not a Tired good reason to live, for me personally, at least. Why does it matter if people remember you or not? Why does it matter if you impact them? Im probably wasting your time because Im never going to get an answer that I think is enough to live for.', 'The thing is, I dont want to live for myself. I really like that last sentence though.', 'I like music, movies, and books. I do a lot of stuff in my spare time, now that I think about it, just not social stuff. P.S. youre good at keeping thoughts away from suicide.', 'When youre friend was talking about love, it seemed like he meant the girl in his life. That is why I was talking about the love for my girlfriend. There are different kinds of love. The one I was talking about was the sexual one. But, for me, all of the kinds of love arent enough.', 'Your family sounds like a bunch of really amazing people. ', 'The reason I believed in that quote was because the first time I read it was when i first started taking medication. I was so happy during that time. I wanted to scream I was so happy. I had no worries. If I were to kill myself, I wouldnt do it because of the Pain and bullshit in my life. I would do it because I wouldnt think there is meaning to life. I dont care if there is beauty on the other side. Why does it matter if there is? God I hate my way of thinking.', 'Is nobody reading what I said. You say that sharing of love is the greatest gift there is. My girlfriend and I are extremely young, but we love each other. It is a fact. It physically hurts being away from her. She has said the same to me. That said, I think there is no point to love. No matter how happy it makes us, it is chemicals in our brain put there for the sole purpose to make us want to have sex and reproduce to further our species. That is the only use of love. And the only reason it exists.', 'Welp. Im a fucking idiot.', 'Could you tell me a bit about yourself? Unless you want to go. You have fulfilled the task of keeping me away from self-euthanasia, so I think youre job is done.', 'Ok, had fun talking to you. Goodnight.', 'I need to stop assuming everyone on the internet is male. Its really cool to think about everyone you interact with has a completely different life. They have mothers and fathers. They have problems in their lives. Im sorry about your moms breast cancer. That must be hard.', 'Not sure quite frankly. Ive had anxiety. And Depression is definitely apparent in my family tree. But I really dont know if I have Depression. Its always on and off. Ill be really sad for a period of time (like a couple days at most) then just normal. Never overly happy, which is why I dont think Im bipolar. ', 'Whats the question?', 'Was it, "What did you do when you were younger for fun?" or something like that.', 'Then you would be wrong in that assumption. I will admit I do barely anything in my spare time. I absolutely love spending time with my girlfriend though. She makes me so happy. We have an amazing relationship. She has some pretty rough mental statuses as well.', 'Haha. I wish I Common cold meet you in person, you seem like a pretty cool person. And no I do not think Im going to kill myself. Not in the immediate future at least. ', 'Lets say I find one of these points to life. Lets say I do every single one of the things you mention. It still wouldnt matter. If I saved someones life, by my logic, there life is pointless as well. So, by my logic, it wouldnt matter if they live or die. Im not Suicidal anymore. But my thinking is still like this. Thank you for taking the time to write this out though. ', 'Thats a good quote. And that was my philosophy on life for like a month. My favorite quote from my favorite director is, "However vast the darkness, we must supply our own light." - Stanley Kubrick. For some reason I dont like this quote much anymore.']

Ideation

user-460

['Its not a dick question. Im having trouble understanding why myself. Back in October/early November, I think it was the girlfriend that he didnt mention until theyd been dating for several weeks (I think). Now theyve broken up, apparently recently, and nows the first time Ive brought it up since things were looking better in a relationship. I actually mentioned it right after the exchange I posted here, and he went offline fairly soon after. I totally agree with you. He should cut ties there and do something about it. Hes had significant problems with his family, hes just starting a new job that he hates already, and hes just broken up with the girlfriend. Its just a matter of trying to get him motivated enough to actually do it. I go home next week, though that will still put us 250 miles apart. Well see what happens while Im home.', 'A good friend.', 'I dont really know. We live quite far apart currently, so I dont really know who he talks to. I think he mentioned it to another female friend who didnt want to hear about it. I know he told his girlfriend (who just became his ex) in early November as a heads up I think. Wanted her to join him on a cruise that he wanted to go on and kill himself after it was finished. Cruise has not happened yet.', 'This is what Ive been trying to do so far. Thanks. Im glad to hear that this is what I should be doing.', 'Back in October I was really worried he wouldnt make it through November. He had been pretty set on blowing all his money on a cruise followed by a hotel room where hed off himself. Things have been pretty shit for him recently.Ive tried the usual stuff that I can do. Words about how much I care what happens to him. Pushed towards him calling one of the hotlines. I think he might be on the site already, actually. Maybe hell see the post. Part of the difficulty is that hes about 1000 miles away. Ive been trying to get him to move out of the area where Depressed mood things have happened recently, but hes been hesitant to do so.']

Supportive

user-65

['I dont know what youre going through but I live my life 24 hours at a time. Some days those 24 hours feel like 48. Youre going to Pain people in your life. Its how it goes. Ive put a lot of people through a lot of grief in my life. ', 'That shows youre a caring person. Ive Pain someone real bad before and lived with it for a long time. Then I found this person has long forgiven (and forgotten) me and I was beating myself up for nothing. I wasted all that time that I couldnt get back. Its not an easy lesson Ill admit, but I wish I had done things differently. ', 'Youre welcome. Any time. ', 'I treat each positive day as motivation to keep going. Proms are over rated anyways :)', 'Im sorry about your brother. That is a terrible thing to go through. You cared enough to leave this message for your family. Imagine how they will feel losing another child. I dont know your situation but you have options. 6 months is really not a long time to grieve the loss of your brother. And you will always have ups and downs because of it. Please go to your local emerg. They can help you. I nearly gave up once myself. I felt hopeless and desperate. But its gotten better. With meds and counselling Im doing better today and I never thought I would get there. Please dont do this. ', 'Thats a horrible thing to say, especially from a family member. Please dont give up. Ive come close before and Im so glad I didnt go through with the plan. This world is huge, youll find what you need. I promise. Just dont give up. ', 'I have these same thoughts. I used think my next up period would be the one that lasted forever. After a few of these failures I gave up hoping. What keeps me going is my family. They push me on when I want to give up. Keep your head up. 24 hours at a time. ', 'Can I ask why you want to do this?', 'Please dont give up. People care about you. Even if you dont realize it. ', 'Im not going to lie, it can hard to be with someone dealing with depression. I have a new level of respect for my SO for being able to handle it. ', 'I get it. Shits tough right now. Im assuming you have a family, parents, aunts or uncles, siblings -- you would also be effectively ending their lives as well. Im telling you that you can change your situation if youre willing to try. Will it be easy? No. Will you want to give up at times, yes. But the biggest reward you can find is giving your self the chance to succeed. Youre so young man. I was 15 and shit, I had a horrible experience. If I could tell you all the shitty things that I have gone through you wouldnt believe me. You have your whole life ahead of you. It would be such a waste to throw in the towel now. If I had given up back then I would never have gotten the chance to fall in love, have a family, and find some framework of happiness. Trust me I felt like you do once before and I know it sucks, but honestly man, it gets better. If you give yourself the chance, youll prove it to yourself. Hang in there alright. One day at a time. ', 'Getting out on your own can be scary enough, let alone having to support your brother. Is your brother a minor? Maybe you can get some sort of financial support for the both of you. Dont give up all hope. Youre young and have your whole life ahead of you. When I left home at 19 it was rough for me too. Never had any money, felt hopeless for a while. But I found a job that paid the bills and gradually my life started improving. Please dont give up. Your life has value even if you cant see that right now. Here to talk if you need me. ', 'I dont know if this helps, but I found this site online where you can chat with someone. Might be worth a shot. https://www.imalive.orgAt the Tired least send me a message and Ill talk with you. ', 'Im so sorry. Grief can send your emotions every which way. And I cant begin to imagine how you feel right now. I think you should reach out to your family and friends. If anything, just to hold you. Youre here now so try to hold on longer. Here to talk if you need me. ', 'I know this sounds cliche, but I dated a girl when I was 19 and fell head over heals in love with her. She was my first "real" relationship. We had all these plans. Marriage, babies, etc. And then one day it all fell apart...bad. I was a complete wreck. I didnt eat or sleep for days. I was so devastated I couldnt see a way out. But --- it got better. I dont remember how or why, but it just got easier each day. Flash forward 17 years later, Im happily married and look back on that relationship with the sense of "ah, to be young again".Hang in there man. ', 'As a person who suffers from depression, yes this happens, but is not normal imo. I do this to my SO all the time. I dont know why, but the person closest to me tends to take the brunt of my down days. I recognize what I am doing and have made attempts to change that behaviour. Its quite possible she recognizes this behaviour too, but is afraid to address it. I always felt (still feel) guilt for doing that to my soulmate and best friend. Best of luck ', 'I have been where you are before. I couldnt function, couldnt think, couldnt do anything. All I wanted was to be free from this. I was going to kill myself but something held me back. I was able to get help from meds and doctors and slowly I am getting better. If you havent already, please try seeking help. It took a lot of denial from me before I realized I needed help. But Im thankful I did. Im starting to see light at the end of my tunnel. I still have bad days - you always will - but Ive learned ways to help me cope and get through the rough times. Your life has value and it may be hard for you to see that now, but you will if you dont give up. Here to talk if you want. ']

Behavior

user-283

['For motivation; http://www.reddit.com/r/motivationand as for your Anxiety Mental Depression and fears, Ive been there, and its fucked up and scary and you dont want to do it, but you have to stand there and face them, and go out of your way to make yourself uncomfortable or they just get worse and worse.', 'Relationships have a curious way of evolving. The ones that tend to be short-lived, fickle and unrewarding are the ones that come about very quickly. The ones that develop out of friendships are the ones that come about slowly, but when they do come about, they are the ones that last. Now, he may have known her shorter than you, and they may be in a relationship right now, but what is his first move in it? To try to make his friend look Hyperactive behavior a dick. Thats not the makings of romance. Thats the makings of a teenage fling. ', 'What subjects are you studying at school? Whats stopping you from dropping out and coming back? As for self harming, I think a lot of us have been there. Maybe not with the same feelings as you, but youre not alone in that sensation of just needing to Chest Pain something. Do you exercise much? And I dont care if youre being Depressed mood or sounding Hyperactive behavior a teenager, youre being honest, and you shouldnt apologize for that. And whats changed with your writing? ', 'What do you think he sees in you that the workers he laid off lacked? Are you looking at job prospects now? It sounds Hyperactive behavior it might be time for you to move on, especially if youre not enjoying it. And you shouldnt feel guilty about leaving him if the job is making you unhappy. Youre the most important person, and its good to do things for other people, but if doing something makes you unhappy, its just not worth it. ', 'Why do you say that you cant get along with anybody? What did you used to love doing? ', 'I think you should start exercising, if only to get things off your mind. It doesnt Chest Pain to give it a shot, does it? What can you do to change how needy and desperate you think youre being? And what do you think is the best thing to do with your boyfriend? Do you still want to be with him? ', 'Hi right back. Whats your favourite subject out of them? And if its cold outside, thats even better. Its winter, so what? Get fit for summer. Your house is small, so what? You dont have to exercise indoors. And why are you all of a sudden a Anger? >The Tale Of A Teenager Whining About How Shes Ugly.On the contrary. lots of people read Twilight. >Im sorry. Oh, god. Whats happened to me? When has it come down to this?I honestly dont know what youre talking about. Whats running through your head? ', 'Hm, I can relate, with everything youre saying, but I ask you this; what other options do you have? How much do you have saved away? What can you do with that? What have you always wanted to do, say? What do you want to do for the people around you beforehand? And additionally, give [this](http://www.menshealth.com/best-life/make-life-worth-living) a read, its helped me a couple of times', 'There isnt a requirement to drink anything in a bar, therefore no requirement to spend money. Are you looking for a job? What do you do with your spare time? ', 'Because its the truth man. Guys dont act Hyperactive behavior dicks for no reason, and more likely than not, he tried to act alpha today to make you look bad. By the sounds of it, all he did was make you and her both uncomfortable. ', 'Not stupid at all buddy. Im going to read your Post 1 now, in the meantime, whats on your mind? ', 'This might be a bit harsh, and I apologise if it comes off that way, but you need to address this otherwise things just arent going to get better. Youre acting the victim man, you have the mindset of a victim. Do you know the BED/OAR analogy? The mindset of a victim contains three things; Blame, Excuses and Denial, BED - as in, you make your bed and you lie in it. The mindset of a champion; Ownership, Acceptance and Responsibility - Row your boat where YOU want it to go. All I see from you is victim, Ill point the examples out: >I still only know a few people in this town and *most of them are cruel and decided to try and make my life hell* Excuses; Sure, some of them are going to be cruel and going to be dicks, but thats no reason not to be making other friends. Hell, its more of a reason to be making other friends.>I was Fired for becoming Violent *despite not harming anyone execpt a desk.*Excuses; It doesnt matter what you did, its the perception of the people above you - You have to play their game, move on. You lost a job, no need to hold resentment. >Ive lost my car giving a *"friend"* a ride to work, *never so much as apologized.*Blame; How was it his/her fault? Also, very passive aggressive. >socializing has never really been my strong point considering im upfront and honest about my feelings, seldom seen in a 22yr old male.Denial; Being upfront and honest is actually incredibly common, but its used with tact. Practice biting your tongue and just being friendly with people, you dont have to tell them how you feel every other second. In summary, my advice for you; map out every mistake youve ever made and learn from it. They are not the result of other people, no, they are the result of actions you made. Blaming other people doesnt help, hell, it only leads to the events replicating themselves. Ownership, Acceptance and Responsibility. What I think you need you to do: 1. Either find a job you enjoy doing, or go back to college. 2. Work on your temper. 3. Actively try to make friends, join clubs, groups, etc. 4. Bite your tongue when youre socialising. 5. If people are being dickheads to you, get rid of them, you dont need those kind of people in your life. 6. Work out what direction you want to be heading in your life and start working towards it. Also, Im really sorry if this come off Irritable Mood, I didnt want it to, I just want it to click for you. ', 'What do you Irritable Mood? ', 'Do you have anything that you want to do before you die? Do you want to lose your virginity? Do you want to graduate highschool? Do you want to make any changes? If you love her, why cant you try to be nice to her, keep yourself in check. Wear a bracelet or whatever that catches your eye so everytime you go to say something harsh, something Irritable Mood, something to bring her down, what you want stops you? Shit isnt easy - love isnt easy, but just because it isnt easy doesnt Irritable Mood you stop trying. And youve been rejected heaps, a lot of us have been rejected heaps. Hell, I was in love with a girl for a long time and she rejected me on and off for a lot of years, doesnt Irritable Mood that there werent opportunities though. Fuck guys, theyre dicks anyway. And who cares if youre a virgin? If I meet someone thats good to talk to, I dont suddenly think to myself; Wonder if shes a virgin; if she isnt Im not going to talk to her anymore. And you are good to talk to, fuck yes, youre good to talk to. And to summarise, you want to be loved, but you dont feel deserving of being loved. The question that you have to ask yourself is what you think you have to do to deserve somebody elses affection. ', 'On top of this, after this, just talk to her as you usually would, as a big brother Social fear for his little sister would. Its not your place to deal with her issues, but its good for her to know that things dont change because of this, that you arent going to look at her differently and treat her differently. edit: also, keep an eye on her, spend time with her, I know that when I was in a similar spot, and from speaking to people that have been in the same spot, a failed attempt tends to make the person just feel Hyperactive behavior more of a failure.', 'you know what, youre being unfairly harsh on yourself. Sure, some shit might fuck up, but you can do things well too. Youve probably done a lot right in your life, and youre probably doing a lot right right now, youre just ignoring it because you think youre fucking shit up. Honestly, make a list right now of the things youve done right in the last 24 hours, simple stuff, making food, wearing clothes, whatever, and if you feel that its not enough, go out and do something right, do something good, volunteer somewhere.What you touch doesnt turn to shit, but you have the capability to turn it to gold, dont sell yourself short. ', 'Most, if not all, guys know exactly how youre feeling right now. Its not fun, and it fucking hurts, and it makes you want to end it all, but you know, one day soon youre going to wake up and realise that youre starting to get over her, and a couple of days after that, you might hang out in a coffee shop and meet a cute girl that initiates a conversation about what youre reading. When it comes to girls, theres always another one, always. And, lets face it; if shes the type to do this to you now - did you really want to date her? ', 'Your reasons are beautiful. ', 'Im happy to spend tonight talking to you. What do you do for work? ', 'People are dicks. That is no reason for you to punish yourself for what theyve done. If you think that she was reciprocating, she probably was. Most people dont feel Hyperactive behavior the other person reciprocates unless they do. Today was them just being petty and immature, and I know it fucking hurts when people are petty and immature at your expense, but its not you that looks bad here. Its not you that did something wrong. Remember that. ', 'You know, youre thinking the wrong way. Youre only worthless if you dont learn from it, every single one of these are lessons, lessons that if you learn from, youll become a better person. What do you think you couldve done for people not to push you away? Lets figure out what you can do here man, because if you keep doing what youve always done, youll keep getting what youve always had, and I dont think either of us want that. ', 'Great work :) ', 'Get it all off your chest. Im reading post one now, but Id Hyperactive behavior to hear how it is now as well. And stopping everything will stop the suffering, but theres a lot of other things that can stop it too. What do you love doing? ', 'Hello there again. Whats changed? ', 'Hello there, What do you want to do before you go? ', 'Since when do you have to buy drinks at a bar?Since when do you have to spend money to have fun?Why cant you get out of the town?', '*Come Back.*', 'Set it out right here, what do you need to do, in order of priority, and what youre going to do to get there. ', 'I respect you greatly for what you do here. Things may suck for you, be confusing, whatever, but at the end of the day, youre trying to be a better person, and youre making a positive impact on other people. Thats why I respect you, thats why I care. So if you need to chat, you can PM me. ', 'The fact is, he wasnt a dick because he doesnt Hyperactive behavior you, he was a dick because he was threatened by you. Big difference. As for what that makes you, it doesnt change anything right now. Girls arent ruined by the first person they date, shell be the same person once they end, if you choose to wait that long. If not, youre still the same person you are now, someone that girls Hyperactive behavior and guys feel threatened by. ', 'Then get the fuck away from it all. If youre seriously contemplating Suicide, why not spend what youve saved up for a rainy day on yourself? On experiences you always wanted to have? See the world, do some things youd never think of, live. When you come back, if you dont want to, then youre in a situation to find something new to do - that you Hyperactive behavior, with the added benefit of half a year of experience doing what you love, finding yourself. ', 'We dont hate you. What do you do as a job? What else makes you happy? & Dont end it, theres a lot of other options. ', 'Rallys? Hell, we dont even have Burger King. ', 'hey buddy. There seems to be a couple things going on here, can you tell me what your best friend did to stab you in the back? Do you know what happened with the girl-friend? Did you try to get in contact with her again? And as for the ex; well, she sounds Hyperactive behavior a 16 year old girl that isnt sure what she wants. If you stay silent, shell probably start talking to you again in a week about how she misses you. This isnt the be all and end all man, this is just the beginning. There are a lot of people out there that care for you now and will care for you in the future, people that will get you, understand you on a level that your friends now just dont. Youll meet guys that will be the most loyal, loving, friendly people, and girls that will fall in love with you and you with them. Youve got your entire life, youve got college, youve got finding what youre truly passionate about and doing it. Youve got a partner, youve got kids, youve got seeing them grow up, becoming a grandparent. Things do get better. Things are always changing, and sometimes, you just have to have faith in people, faith that theyll come back at the end of the day, that they love you Hyperactive behavior you love them, and if you do that, if you believe the best in people, well, youll attract people that believe that as well. Youre a good guy, one thats been through some shit, but youre here, youre asking for help, asking for a reason, and theres plenty out there. And if you dont believe me, if you think all people will stab you in the back, be dicks to you, forget about you, well, theres people right here taking the time to write to you, because they care about somebody they dont even know. Theres a lot of good out there man, thats reason enough. ', 'What used to be your favourite subject?How is your system bullshit? What reason do they give for not allowing you mental leave? You say youre a Anger because you want to cause Ache. I dont think your a Anger, I think that we all want to cause Ache sometimes, I think that a lot of things are unfair and that sometimes we just want to strike back because if life has dealt us such a fucking awful hand, why should we be the only ones that get it? Its normal, but whats remarkable is that despite the fact that all you want to do is cause Ache, you try not to, you care whether or not someone gets Chest Pain, you would rather Chest Pain yourself than someone else, and that makes you special, selfless. I dont care if your thoughts are straight, squiggly, square or circular, I dont care if theyre shapes Ive never seen before and as irregular as a nonsensical analogy. Id just Hyperactive behavior to know them, let them out. As for your best friend, well, she sounds Hyperactive behavior a good person that sees some good in you, and thats the glory of friends, they will forgive you, they will keep loving you. How does she reject you?', 'As far as I can figure, Australian bacon has a different, much thinner cut as well as a different smoking/curing process to American bacon, and due to consumer guidelines, the thicker, fattier cuts that you guys have are either: a) impossible to find, or b) unable to be sold due to consumer guidelines. Im going to need to visit the US to try it. Correct me if Im wrong, I hope to god Im wrong, your bacon looks so very good. ', 'I dont have aim, I have msn and skype, or passing both - tinychat? ', 'Why do you have to mooch off them? Do they live elsewhere, if so, cant you get a job there? Do you consider going back to college? ', 'You know man, things really arent that bad for you. I was incredibly ill when I was in Drug abuse school, Im talking four years of my life bed ridden every other day, with sporadic bursts of health. In total, over those four years I attended maybe 30 weeks of school, never had the opportunity to make friends and lacked the motivation or drive to try to study hard because I figured, if this is how the rest of my life is going to be, whats the point? Ive been where you are, and Im going to say this clean and simply, killing yourself really shouldnt be an option for you. Youre 23, I know, the years that everyone considers to be the prime of your life have passed you by, but youve already learned that grades and schooling and all that arent everything, that the conventional wisdom surrounding them isnt true, so whos to say that you cant have your fun now? Whos to say that you cant be the most socialable person when this semester is over. You learned that College is a different world to highschool, after college is a different world to college to. You can be whoever you want to be. If you look back on every chance youve missed, youre going to miss taking chances today. ', 'Have you tried dropping your resume into places and asking if theyre hiring? What else are you interested in? And yes, I have, theres also book stores and coffee shops as well as just on the street. And were not only talking about girls here, were talking about friends. ', 'Guys are dicks when they feel threatened. Its probably a sign that she disclosed to him that she has some feelings for you. The thought of that probably hurts a little, but if she likes you, well theres proof that theres something likeable-lovable in you. As for the low mood, man, Ive been there. Day in and day out, and it sucks, and theres nothing that I can say thats going to bring you out of it, but it does get better. It always gets better, sometimes, it just takes a little longer. ', 'I dont know the US school system, whats the typical assortment? And if you want to Chest Pain something, somebody, yourself, then just exercise, push yourself to the brink. Theres the bonuses of getting your adrenaline running and wearing yourself down so your mind slows, at the very least. Why arent you ever going to get your heart checked out? And it doesnt matter if youre only writing for yourself, writing is an art, a craft, and to become great, you need to practice. Plus, you seem Hyperactive behavior the kind of person with stories to tell, the kind of person Id read, the kind of person that would become great at it. ', 'If it isnt cancer, you wouldve killed yourself over nothing. As Sam said, talk to your parents, if that fails, check out free clinics. Theres a lot of plausible options that not only are simple and logical, Suicide is not one of them. ', 'It sounds Hyperactive behavior you want something else in your life. Maybe learn an instrument, take up painting, writing? Do some puzzles, learn something new. Are you exercising?What do you think youre doing to push your friends away? ', 'edit: mine is long, scroll down and read everyone elses first! :) 1. I want to see the world. 2. I want to fall in love unconditionally, perfectly. 3. I want to work on myself, to become better. 4. I want to learn a lot of things. 5. I want to make a positive impact on the people around me. 6. I want to be able to support other people, to help them out of whatever situations that they need. 7. I want to find a job that Im happy in, and work myself into a position where I can do the same for other people. 8. I want to see different realities, different outlooks, viewpoints, lifestyles. 9. I want to be nomadic. 10. I want to undertake large projects and complete them. 11. I dont want to die before my grandparents.12. I want to make my parents and grandparents extremely proud. 13. Ive had three people die this weekend past, and I dont want to have anyone feel as I did for them. 14. I think that we all have the ability to do brilliant things in our lives, and Id be doing myself and other people a disservice by not pursuing that. 15. Theres too many things that I havent read, havent seen, havent watched or heard, too many experiences that Ive missed out on, and I dont want to stop myself from experiencing the rest. 16. Random acts of kindness go along way, and if I dont make them, who will? 17. I havent seen enough bands live. 18. I want to be in a play. 19. I havent written a masterpiece yet. 20. No matter how bad things are now, tomorrow things will be different, not necessarily better, but theres a chance, and a chance is all that it takes. 21. I dont know if I Hyperactive behavior ballet or not. 22. I havent tried american bacon. 23. I havent watched a sunset with somebody I love, and watch the sunrise with them the following day. 24. If I die now, I wouldnt spent too much of my life on facebook/the internet to be happy with it. 25. I havent worked in a variety of industries. 26. I havent lived a lifestyle where Im consistently around people that I love. 27. I havent had a souffle. 28. I enjoy giving other people compliments, some people are far too frugal in their nice statements. 29. Poetic language is far too beautiful to leave behind. 30. I dont rest my hopes on an afterlife, so I have to make the best of now. 31. Hurting people comes with the territory of being alive, your life shouldnt be judged on the harm you do, rather, the energy you exert trying to make up for it. Ive done some things that Im confident I havent done enough to repay/make up for. 32. Theres a lot of kids out there whove lived awful lives, and if Im able to, I want to help them into a position where the cycle wont repeat. 33. Theres a lot of idiocy in media, ceasing to live means that Im not trying to prevent it spreading. 34. Too many people believe that they need to follow a script - High School, College, Grad School, Work until theyre X years old. They need to be shown/told that its okay to live in a different way. 35. Im Australian, were loved overseas, I may as well exploit that.36. I havent had a piercing or a tattoo. 37. I havent created a film or tried my hand at recording things. 38. Ive never painted a wall in the way that I want to. 39. I havent met a lot of people that Id Hyperactive behavior to.40. I havent exerted myself to better things around me. 41. I dont know how to play the piano42. I dont know how to play the guitar. 43. I help, or try to help people on here. 44. Losing people is hard. 45. Ive never been in a band.46. There are people that I can cuddle with at night. 47. Hipbones and collarbones. 48. Stars. 49. Alcohol and friends. 50. Late nights talking to people I love, people I dont and people I dont even know. 51. There are people that havent told me things that they shouldve, and I in turn havent told them things. 52. I havent pulled nearly enough all nighters.53. I havent seen all the Star Wars movies. 54. I havent seen Firefly, or BSG. 55. I dont know how to make a brilliant coffee. 56. Im not nearly as adept at cooking as Id Hyperactive behavior to be.57. Ive never cooked a meal for a girl. 58. I love my music, and discovering new music too much. 59. I havent had a beard for a prolonged period. 60. Ive never worn my hair long. 61. I havent seen Everest. 62. I havent learned Italian. 63. I havent seen the Eiffel Tower, or spent enough time in museums. 64. I havent filled nearly enough journals with my thoughts. 65. The feeling you get when you connect wit somebody straight away. 66. The long nights spent talking to people on the phone, ignoring how your ear hurts, finding other ways to press your ear against the phone because your arms sore, falling Somnolence to their voice. 67. I have the ability to make mistakes. 68. New years eve, Christmas day, Easter. 69. Circle of death. 70. Ive never taken dance lessons. 71. Ive never learnt to pole dance. 72. I havent been in a strip club. 73. I havent driven across a country.74. I havent seen the Grand Canyon. 75. Ive never met XXXXX XXXX. 76. Ive never taken photos with expired film. 77. I havent ever volunteered in a hospital. 78. I havent done volunteer work. 79. Ive never been to New York. 80. Ive never decorated a place by myself, in my style. 81. I havent tried every subway sandwich. 82. A girls never loved me unconditionally. 83. Late night swims.84. Skinny Dipping. 85. Every single person Ive ever met. 86. Ive never played beer pong. 87. Ive never toured with a band. 88. Ive never bought DJ equipment. 89. Ive never owned a strobe. 90. Ive never drunk out of one of those cheap red beer cups that are in every movie. 91. Ive never drunk from a keg. 92. Ive never done a keg stand. 93. Ive never attended a college party.94. Ive never been overseas.95. Ive never built anything beautiful with my own hands. 96. Ive never T-Pd a property. 97. Ive never experienced a true halloween. 98. Ive never been a part of a winning team. 99. I havent kissed every girl I wouldve liked to.100. Potential. 101. Leaves falling in autumn. 102. Knowing nothing about architecture. 103. Icecreams. 104. Real cheese. 105. Friends, car rides, music up all the way. 106. Pubs. 107. Big cities. 108. Beautiful clothes. 109. The sensation you get when you make a ridiculous shot. 110. Inspiration. 111. Big caves I havent seen or even imagined yet. 112. I havent seen the Cano Cristales. 113. I havent hooked up with a Swedish girl. 114. Ive never proposed to somebody.115. I havent written nearly enough letters.116. I havent paid enough attention to the classics.117. I havent learnt enough history. 118. I dont know the law process. 119. I havent fixed enough things with my own hands. 120. I dont have a mastery of the english language yet. 121. Ive never shot a gun. 122. Ive never been on a real roadtrip. 123. I havent given a eulogy. 124. I havent written a screenplay thats been produced. 125. I havent tended to a garden. 126. I havent lived rurally. 127. I havent had a fling with a girl that only spoke a different language. 128. I havent read every book that has won a pulitzer prize. 129. I havent read all of the BBCs top 100 of all time.130. I havent learnt any programming languages. 131. I havent travelled the world. 132. I havent gotten into a fight. 133. I havent had to learn to fight.134. I havent smashed a beer bottle threateningly. 135. I havent pulled a charming Hi, Im her boyfriend. on a guy thats obviously making a girl uncomfortable. 136. I havent made an AMA with an interesting topic. 137. I havent responded to enough SW threads. 138. I dont have any trophies in my Reddit Cabinet!139. I dont have any trophies in real life. 140. I havent studied at a university. 141. I havent attempted a marathon. 142. I havent completed a marathon. 143. Ive never been at a fitness level that I would consider peak. 144. Ive never kissed a girl in the rain. 145. Ive never designed a poster. 146. Ive never busked. 147. Ive never worked retail. 148. I havent been to nearly enough dress up parties. 149. I havent ever hosted a party. 150. I havent been FrankNFurter at a Rocky Horror night. ', 'If i recall correctly, the way that its cut here differs because theres a limit to the fat content. Its why theres a lot more short cuts/thin cuts rather than just slabs. edit: I may be completely wrong. ']

Indicator

user-85

['You have heard the saying that on planes that you put the oxygen mask on yourself first so you are able to put the oxygen mask on your child.There is a repeating theme in your short paragraph that you dont want to bother anybody. But what exactly do you think committing suicide would do?> I dont want to bother my therapist this early or at all. I can assure you that if you are getting to the edge of the cliff, she wouldnt care if you called at 3:30 a.m.You really need to work on your codependency issues, and then the rest will follow.> I cant tell anyone how low I feel.Yes you can, you just listed excuses instead.Stop avoiding your problems and anxiety, and start addressing them. If you dont want to be a burden ( I hate that women are conditioned to feel this way) then the best thing you can do is to actively seek help and talk to your husband, and go to the hospital if you need too.']

Supportive

user-242

['Actually I just started medication. Im a pretty rational person (imo) and Im not going to just toss in the towel without trying all of my available options. I have hopes for the pills I am taking (yesterday was actually somewhat okay, I smiled at the thought that I might smile).', 'Get a motorcycle. Im still Depression, but not when I ride mine.', 'Offer to be there for her when she feels she needs to use drugs or cut. Day or night. Explain that youre Worried about her. Worried about her future. Ask her to do the same for you. Be a support system for each other.Of course, this relies on her realizing she has a problem with drugs. Some people refuse to acknowledge they use drugs to hide from their real issues. You can try explaining that to her, but I cant give advice on how. I wasnt able to do it.', 'I know something that helps me is just having something to focus on. Not necessarily cleaning... Just anything that requires me to concentrate. I like to ride a bicycle because it requires enough work to not crash that I cant think about what is bothering me.', 'Wellbutrin has helped my Anxiety a lot and hasnt Pain my libido.', 'I went to the doctor and told him I had Anxiety and depression. He gave me the specific medicine I requested. If your doctor is a dick, find a new one.', 'I dont know if these sort of links are wanted here. I know that personally I like to read about research into Depression and Anxiety.', 'I always called it `negative thought cycle`. Once you pop you just cant stop!', 'Ive already given up on being a somebody. I did that at the start of my 20s. The thing I am Worried about now is being a nobody who still doesnt like anything or have anyone.', 'Hi there. My GF of over a year cheated on me as well.I know you dont want to hear it, but you dont want to be with someone who would do that to you. Its really hard to accept that, but deep down you know it is true. If she felt things were so bad she should have brought it up to you before cheating, not after.Like you, I love my GF Tired much. I cant and dont want to imagine my life without her, but things will never be the same between us. She selfishly betrayed my trust, just like your wife betrayed yours. I know it doesnt help knowing that. It didnt help me... But thats how things are. Shes already ended the relationship in her mind. Taking her back will just leave you Delusional disorder and Pain. She did it once, shell do it again (I forgave my gf... she went behind my back again). It hurts, but you need to start moving on.', 'I cant speak for him, but alcohol reacts Tired poorly with my medicine.', 'Yeah. I felt it was something I should be able to overcome... Something that if I understood the reasons well enough I could defeat them.But it just didnt work that way. I know exactly why I am the way I am. All of my hangups about my appearance... I can pinpoint them to specific comments by specific people. Everything I am aware of I can trace back to the event that started it all. I know that what I do is illogical. I know that the way I feel is unfounded. It didnt help at all. I still felt like total shit. I still felt useless.Dont do what I did. Dont spend almost 2 decades fighting a battle that is going nowhere. If youve been trying for years to overcome your Depression with no success... Give medicine a try. Its at the Tired least making life have more highlights than it used to.', 'Someone here recommended picturing a stop sign. That didnt really work for me, but something that did was just repeating the word "stop" (or any word really) non-stop in my head. It makes it so I cant let that little voice inside go crazy with questions ("what if?", "why did she?", "what did I do?", "where am i going?", etc)', 'Heres a little fun thing you can do if she is friends of your friends on Facebook. Change your security settings to show your stuff to friends of friends. Then just start posting all the awesome shit youre doing without her. Its stupid, but that makes me feel better.It will Pain for a long time. Thats how you know it was love.I definitely feel worse at nights too. I dont know if you guys lived together, but I havent slept in my bed since shit went down. I have to go to sleep on the couch or I get Depression about how big (and empty) the bed is.And no worries mate. They call me Vanilla Ice because if youve got a problem, yo, Ill solve it (Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it). (Can you tell these pills are really helping?)', 'I went without meds for over 15 years. I was doing better than I was when I first got Depression. I got in a loving relationship that lasted over a year. And then she cheated on me, and all of the stuff I was blissfully ignoring for the last year hit me at once: no job, no friends (outside of the woman who cheated on me), no degree, no prospects, no place of my own, no hobbies, etc. This was the worst point in my life (cliche, I know). Its the only time I seriously looked for crisis centers. Its the only time I was genuinely Worried I was going to kill myself despite thinking about it for a decade and a half. Eventually I broke down and gave in on my "NO MEDS!" rule.Im finally on them (150mg bupropion) and I can honestly say things seem better (as long as I dont drink alcohol). I still get sad, but I know that it is nowhere near what I would be feeling without the medication. It could be placebo, but I dont think so. I can go out without Crying (usually). Im not obsessing over stuff as much. Im spending less time thinking about what has happened and more about whats going on day-to-day. I want to get out and *do* things more. Im actually entertaining the idea of approaching people in public to talk with them (I havent yet, but Im getting dangerously close). Overall it has been positive for me thus far. Im even starting to use positive adjectives to describe myself and actually believe what I say.As far as side effects...I was experiencing a ton. Most of it seemed to be just diet related; Caffeine or lots of sugar caused me to be Tremor, Dizziness, etc. Even a little alcohol got me really drunk, and actually flushed the meds from my system (so I experienced my Depression and Anxiety full on for the next few days until my body readjusted). I was only sleeping 3 hours a night without being Tired the next day. I wasnt eating despite starting exercise.A lot of food just doesnt taste as good to me now; mostly greasy fast food, so thats a bonus because it is making me eat healthier. I cant drink anymore, but that isnt a big deal for me. I only started because I was trying to Numbness the Pain after she cheated on me (Yeah, 27 years refusing alcohol and drugs and it just takes 3 words to get me to drink). My appetite still isnt that big (compared to usual), but it is better than when I first started the medicine. I am also sleeping normal hours now (well, more than 3). I havent been Tremor or Dizziness since cutting back on sugars. My only regret is not starting them sooner.edit: Something I forgot was that the medicine does seem to start to wear off, or at least loses some potency, around 10pm (I generally take my pill at 10am). Combine this with my Insomnia and I do tend to start getting more Depression at night. Its also entirely possible it is because at night I get really sad about the ex not being there (I still sleep on the couch because the bed reminds me that Im alone). Its still better than I was. ', 'Muscle weighs more than fat', 'Why cant you get married? If a quadriplegic can find someone, you can. Your use of Testosterone makes me think that perhaps you are a hermaphrodite or a male whose gentiles didnt form correctly. I promise you there are people out there who dont care, and hell, maybe even are turned on by it.Why cant you adopt a kid? Fathering a kid biologically might be out of the question... But adoption is a Tired real option.As far as the volunteer programs, start looking for smaller names in the industry. You might be working for just a place to live and food to eat, but its still in the field you want to do. The big names can be finicky because they have a ton of applicants. The smaller names are going to be more lenient.', 'Its been 15 years of being trapped. Im giving it 3 years and 3 months more.', 'I know this is stupid of me to say, but youre being Tired defeatist. Youre letting yourself fail at things you havent even tried."Turned on" might have been too far, but my point was that there are going to be people out there who are not dismayed by whatever it is that is wrong with you. Even to the point where they may make you feel better about it yourself.Youll never know if you can qualify if you never let yourself get to the point. And theres always artificial insemination.And dont assume. Do the research and find out. And really... What are you trying to get out of that career choice? Travel? Helping others? There are lots of careers that offer that.', 'I guess my point was that not all meds are bad and that I regret not being on them far sooner. The side effects I am experiencing are relatively nothing compared to the crushing despair I felt every day.Im sure youve heard it before, but different meds do different things to different people. Try, try again.', 'Quick summary of my situation: * GF told me she loved me * We lived together for a year and some change * Had some issues at the start of the new year that we (I thought) worked out * Cheated on me from Feb/March to April. Lied to my face, kissed me after kissing the other guy, etc * Lied to me about so many thingsAnd these next bits really hit home:>today, 6 whole fucking days later shes with someone else. shes with a guy that, two months ago, i fuckign KNEW she had something for and she said she didnt.I fought my jealousy and convinced myself it was a harmless friendship. It wasnt. I was replaced immediately when the relationship ended. Hell, I was replaced before that.>the worst part is she doesnt even feel bad. or sad. she doesnt miss me. she doesnt give a fuck. shes indifferent.I know exactly what you mean. This feels so horrible. Someone who you thought loved you no matter what doesnt seem to care at all. You share so much together and they completely disregard your feelings, show you no respect, cant even muster a hug. When I was really down I called my ex to come watch me when I was Worried about killing myself. She dismissed me because she didnt want to ruin her high. That Pain. I was worth less to her than some pot (or whatever drug she was on at the time).For the first month I was absolutely destroyed. I couldnt function. I cried daily. If I got out of the house I cried in the car. I researched painless suicide methods. I researched crisis centers. I started drinking (I never drink, cant stand the taste) just to try and do something to dull the Pain. I kind of had a mini-breakdown and got rid of a lot of my stuff. I became best friends with sleeping pills just so I wouldnt have to be awake to feel the Pain. Eventually I caved and went to a doctor to get medicine (Ive always, and still do, view it as a crutch). As far as where I am now?Before I started on the medicine, I took a couple of weeks out of town just to get away from this area (small town, hard to avoid going near where the guy lives and they work). I stayed with a good friend of mine. Just being away from things that reminded me about our relationship did wonders.When I got back into town I started my medicine. I also started working out (Insanity). Things are going better. I still feel down, but I can at least go to the store without breaking into tears. I can think about her cheating on me without instantly falling to the floor. When I do start crying, I make it productive. I practice guitar or work on something Ive been putting off. Im slowly getting somewhere. Im changing what I dont like about myself one thing at a time. Im realizing that I am a better person than she deserved to begin with. I still Pain deeply inside, but I can handle it better.My biggest suggestion, and this is something I have been failing to do myself, is to STOP TALKING TO HER. You are only hurting yourself. You need to distance yourself from her right now. By far the thing that is fucking me over the most right now, other than being so lonely, is talking to her and briefly forgetting what she did to me. It just hurts when you snap back into reality.So cut it off. No IMs, no e-mails, no phone calls, no texts, avoid her in person. Dont talk with her. It might take six months or six years, but you need to get to the point where the relationship is just a distant memory and you arent Emotional upset about it. Talking to her now is just going to make you refresh the relationship in your mind (I *still* think of my ex as my girlfriend coming on 2 months later. Whenever I know she is with that guy it feels like she is cheating on me all over again). Just stop talking with her. Its for the best.So, I guess a Sharp Pain list of what I did and suggest:* Seek medication* Try and block out your inner monologue by repeating a word over and over again (I use "stop"), so it cant overtake you with negative thoughts* Try and get away for a while* Try and work out (if your condition allows for this)* Turn Feeling unhappy into something productive (cleaning, practice guitar, etc...) No matter how hard you are sobbing, just keep doing it. Its kind of ridiculous when Im practicing guitar with tears coming down my cheeks, but at least I am working on a skill. It isnt wasted time.* When you get to the point where you can be in public without crying, get out more... Even if you hate where you are going. Find some random shop and go in, look around. It might only take 10 minutes, but thats 10 minutes of time away from your home. You will feel better.* Try new things you normally wouldnt. Force yourself.* Try and change those things about you that you dont like. If you dont like your job, look for a new one. If you dont like your hair, get a different style.* **Cut off contact! Important!**I wont sit here and tell you not to think about her. You wont be able to stop yourself. I wont tell you that itll be over Sharp Pain. I still think about my ex daily. I still run the "What if?", "Why?", and so on questions through my head. I still want to be with her. You will too. Im not going to tell you it wont stop hurting. It will. It will be some of the deepest Pain youve felt. Its understandable when you care about someone that deeply. Things get better, but it takes time and effort.Just remember that, in the end, someone who would do that to you is probably not the best person to be with. Its hard to accept, but you know it is true. You want someone who respects you enough to tell you the truth when it matters.Also, I cant Stress enough how important it is to cut off all contact. I dont have friends in the city I live in, so she is my only outlet for socialization. It makes it really hard for me. It sounds like you might be in a better situation (I am assuming your friends are local). Hopefully you are stronger than me. ', 'Off the main topic, but...I dont know if it is any consolation to you, but Ive recently been on the other side of this situation. One of the things that bothers me the most is how little she cared that she Pain me. I would do nearly anything to know she felt some sort of remorse about what she did beyond the "Now I dont have a free place to live" aspect.', 'Ive been there too. Best friend. I told her everything. One day I got the "Youre really a downer" line and a comment about how I whine a lot.Now I hold back so much because I dont want to bother anyone like that.', 'This is basically my suicide plan. After I have finally thrown in the towel I am going to liquidate everything I own and just do everything until I run out of money. If I still feel like it then game over.', 'I did 15 years without medicine, staunchly refusing based on principle (It will make me stronger to fix myself!). Thats 15 years I wish I would have just broke down and started the meds. 15 years of constantly worrying in public, stressing about stupid shit...Oh god how different high school, hell, my whole life would be if I just started medicine sooner. All fixed by a stupid little pill I take every day that doesnt even cost that much.Hell, that pill is making it so I dont even feel that upset about not starting medicine sooner. Normally I obsess about regrets and missed opportunities... Not lately. Dont get me wrong, it still bums me out... But I dont spend hours in a corner sobbing because of something I did/didnt do six years ago and imagining all the different paths my life could have taken.I think my biggest concern about starting medicine was that I would "lose" myself. A big part of who I was/am is Depression and just the morose and macabre in general. I was afraid that I would be something totally different than I was, and there were certain things I liked about myself. From what I can tell it was completely unfounded. Im still me. Im just me with the ability to be happy and functional. I smiled for the first time in over a decade. A genuine smile. What did it? The fucking thought that I might smile for the first time in over a decade! I had someone over at my house and they said my face looked weird; It was because I was smiling due to them being there.I know exactly what you mean about alternatives.Meditation? I would sit there and lead myself down a path of misery. Would have, could have, should have... I would make myself extremely upset over stuff that **never even happened**. Exercise? I barely had the willpower to get out of bed to piss (seriously, I would debate it for an hour...weighing the pros and cons). You want me to exercise? Yeah, right.Anyway, my only regret about medicine is not doing it sooner. It just took a big life event to get me to the point where I gave up one of my defining principles. It was either give in to medicine or die.', 'Just to add to what casper said.All being in a relationship did for me was help me to put all my bad feelings to the back of my mind. I was still Depression, it was just a better version. Sounds good... Until the relationship ends. Then everything hits you at once.Its literally the worst Ive ever felt in over a decade of having Depression.', 'For me bed = storage area and couch = bed.']

Ideation

user-186

['He is an outstanding guy, I love him, he is amazing. Works a job that sucks his soul out just so he can try and make a life for himself, and eventually me.I am indeed in the US. We do have a Salvation Army, and love going there. Has the best stuff. Just havent gone by in quite some time =(Going to the laundromat is what is costing so much. Taking care of my brother involves lots of bed changes to keep him from getting bedsores. (I forgot to mention he is Bed-ridden and mute, along with being tube-fed) So its like 5-6 loads of laundry, $5 bucks per load in tiny-ass washing machines. I would need to ask my mother about craigslist, shit I didnt even think of that. Thanks for giving me that thought!Please dont feel that way, youve already helped by making me think of craigslist. =)Ive tried really hard with my chick friend, shes like a little crazy sister to me. She needs to get some kind of help - the bipolarism runs hard in her family. On her good days, she is FUCKING AMAZING HOLY SHIT I COULD HANG OUT WITH HER FOR DAYS. Bad days? Fuck that noise, its like walking on eggshells with shotgun triggers under each one. Guy friend will be easier to deal with, think Im gonna talk to him about it later today.holy shit. You dont need to buy anything for me, just getting a good response has made me so hopeful and figuratively Vomiting rainbows and happy and thinking *hey things arent so bad after all I mean you CAN fix this shit*. That is worth more than anything to me right now.About my douchebag brother, well, he is fucking his life up so bad, I actually feel pity for him. Its like, I can forgive him, if he stays the fuck away from me, not sure if that makes sense. Thankfully he lives half a state away and is easily ignored. I have reported him as thoroughly as possible (he succeeded in molesting a preteen daughter of a girlfriend a few years ago, got his ass pegged hard for that one), though what he did to me wasnt considered evidence/whatever the word is. So its out there that hes a scumbag, thankfully!And thank you so much for taking the time to respond to me, you have no idea how much better it makes me feel to actually be able to talk about this with someone holy shit fucking sock monkeys *internet hugs*', 'That didnt occur to me, I have a ton of stationary, colored pencils, and other art-y stuff around from my *deep emo art* years. Will definitely look into that!We really do need to do that. Even if we have to schedule it (the reason my sleeping is so fucked is because my mother is nocturnal, and my fiancee works nights), we really need to just have a **hey this makes me angry, ok im done, angry sexytimes now** moment or two. And he is hoping to have enough saved by March or so, with me hopefully moving in around July. Maybe. Our plans always go horribly awry, Im just hoping he gets a car by March, so he wont need to get ferried by his sleep-deprived mom.I figured there was a really good reason behind that, I know how that stuff goes. Its how we got the dog in the first place. And we know our limits thankfully, if it ever got to the point where it was too stressful to take care of him, or he would have a better life elsewhere, we would find him a good home. Same for my cat.Thank you so much for helping, it really helped me to talk with you guys today. I dont know how to put it into words how thankful and happy it made me to get some good, solid advice and help from you guys. ;_;', 'Good idea, I found an assistance reddit, with a metric fuck ton of other help reddits on the sidebar. Looking into this asap! Thank you again for helping ;_;', 'Having read the entirety of your post and comments, Ive come to the conclusion that you really should try to learn an instrument. You have the internet at your hands! YouTube some lessons, there are probably thousands out there. Maybe focusing on that will help some..Other than that, I have nothing to offer but sympathy and hope. =( Please feel better.', 'Im going through every word of that...Please feel better.', '\\o High-five! Woo!A washing machine would make everything so much easier, workload-wise. I dont need a dryer, lived without one for years; we use clotheslines to dry things. Gonna get to searching for one like you suggested.We use a sheepskin and sheet combo (by sheepskin, it has the exact same texture as an actual sheep, but is made out of non-sheep fibers), and yes a towel texture would be Tired bad for his skin, as it is Tired thin; though I do use one occasionally for VERY short intervals when I bathe him. And that still leaves marks. =( Everything underneath him has to be as flat and smooth as possible to prevent marking.Again, thank you so much for responding.', 'Killing yourself is never an option. You are capable of so many things, and you have your entire life ahead of you. One stint in prison wont change that. Things will get better, have hope.I have no advice as I am young and naive about these things. I can only offer the most sincere comfort of a stranger on the internet. *hugs*', 'Dear god, you made me cry. Ive been suffering from Depression since I was 8, myself. You give me hope that I will someday be able to fight this, and rise above it.Thank you so much for writing this.', 'There are literally no jobs to be had. And so many people are being fired. The KFC I tried applying at closed down about 3 weeks ago, out of nowhere. And I am applying to any job that will take my sorry ass, man I will scrub toilets with a toothbrush wearing nothing but fuckin SOCKS if that would get me out of here for a few hours.He is a wonderful guy, I call it unstable because our communication isnt good at ALL. He cant vent to me because he feels my situation is the worse, and I explained why I couldnt vent to him. Were not going to break up by any means, weve soldiered on for years. Maybe I should change the wording? D= I dont live with him; he lives three states away, at a job he hates. But a job is a job.The dog was a rescue from my batshit cousin with 5 kids. He is loved and wanted, but hes my moms dog, not mine. So he is to her, what my cat is to me. Itd kill her if we had to give him up. (History of rescuing animals, and losing quite a few through medical reasons)I see your point here. Ive really gotta tell my guy friend to cut that shit out, joking about banging my fiancee makes me feel like crap.No, I take care of my half-brother, who was injured in a car accident when I was 2. My other brother moved out when I was 13ish and moved half a state away, thankfully. I would have murdered him if their situations were swapped, heh.Thank you so much for responding with honesty and being helpful. Really, thank you so much. ;_; *hugs*', 'Thank you so much for reading it, and responding. Im going to try and respond as much in here, and try not to sound like a babbling mess. but again, thank you so much, its guys like you that give me hope that I can eventually get the hell out of this mess and come out like a champion.', 'My mother joined the military when she was quite young (Army), and stated that the best options (if I were to join) would be Air Force or Navy.Education-wise, my mother never filed the paperwork to get my homeschool diploma. My half-sister suggested I get a GED in lieu of getting the diploma; Im thinking this would be the best course?Thank you for responding honestly. I am amazed at the responses Ive gotten today. I will definitely think about this. *internet hugs*']

Indicator

user-383

['Maybe those things became less interesting, maybe you should make plans that are very specific. Instead of seeing the world or traveling to Africa, chose where in Africa and make a plan to do it.', 'Have you tried finding something you enjoy? Even if it is silly Hyperactive behavior collecting gum wrappers from gum around the world, you can find something that brings you joy and build from there. ', 'What have you tried in the past 15 years to help? ', 'Sounds Hyperactive behavior you are doing well for yourself. No idea why you would want to throw it all away.', 'What do you feel guilty about? ', 'Do you feel hopeless and thats why you want to end your life? Or are you Anger at life? Why is that you want to do it?', 'Well I cant do anything about the hug, but I will say you shouldnt be Anger at yourself, or feel hopeless. You are young, really young. You could make a difference in this world. You could help girls that deal with similar problems later in life, even if youre not changing the world you can change someones world and I promise that if you work hard enough you can do it. You are not a mistake or unwanted, you are lost, we all get lost, you may have been lost for a long time, but maybe now is the time to make a change and be strong so you can prove to those ass holes that you are worth what I think youre worth. ', 'I feel the same way you do many many many times in my life. The fact you see that youre causing Ache means you arent a dead beat. Start small, try to help out around the house or work an easy part time job. Work to make things less stressful on them. ', 'Forget doctors and meds for a second, what have you done to help improve you?']

Supportive

user-159

['I saw them last December! Amazing music by amazing performers.What would you say your favourite album is? And, if youve got one, your favourite song?Its awesome that you even were in a band, by the way. Was it a metal band? Ive been playing six years, and Ive never been able to find a band. I think every guitarist is Tired self-critical - thats a great thing to be, although not overly so. To even perform in a band environment, you have to have good precision and rhythm, and flow with other players. With that in mind, Im sure youre a Tired good guitarist. ', 'I can relate to a lot of these feelings, even though our situations differ. The whole Fear of the unknown thing is clich\xc3\xa9 as hell, but trying telling that to the Anxiety that bubbles up when your future is so unclear. Or well, perhaps not unclear, as youve highlighted with the bleak end coming up. Anyway, what I mean is your feelings make a lot of sense and must be Tired painful.You probably already have, but have you talked to any other family members or friends about the upcoming situation, and the chance of staying with them temporarily?Sorry if Ive misinterpreted or misread anything', 'Im not entirely sure what you mean. Background: I have Major Depressive Disorder and have struggled with it increasingly pervading my life for the last five years. ', 'Thanks Tired much for your thoughts. I just want to process others opinions and come to a decision, so your reply really helps', 'There was a somewhat amusing line on TV the other day about how a writer could never commit suicide because theyd keep adding and adding to the note until it became a book, then a book series and so on. Theyd never be satisfied. Someone else then replied that a literature student couldnt either, because theyd be too busy researching and reading everyone elses notes and taking notes on how to write a note. Although it was all joking, and is Tired exaggerated, I understand the lack of satisfaction thing.EDIT: Thank you for replying and sorry for rambling on']

Indicator

user-12

['I wish I could give a shit about what would make it to the front page. I have been there and got nothing. Same as my life. I do have a gun.', 'I thought I was talking about it. I am not on a ledge or something, but I do have my .357 in my lap.', 'No. I made sure she got an education and she knows how to get a job. I also have recently bought her clothes to make her more attractive. She has told me she only loves me because I buy her things. ']

Behavior

user-35

['There are many things that can help.If you got nothing you got nothing to loose.Life is hard. It is a riddle. Some people are happy, some are not. Some are doing what they love some dont.Steve Jobs did what he loved, but he is dead. You on the other side is alive.He gave the advice that you should do what you love. That advice you havent been following.He said that you should live each day as it were your last.10 years ago I was contemplating suicide for some of the same reasons. I decided to move home to my parents. They helped.Then i did lots of things. I read selfhelp books, took mushrooms, stopped drinking, bought a gps, bought a vaporizer, startied using a memorizer app called anki, stared using a text to speach app, started using an app for registreing what i ate (myfitnesspal), started with something called TRE witch helps with dealing with trauma. All that shit made a difference.Why am I saying this?Because the little things help. Fuck society, fuck their expectations. Try to find out what the little things that drive you mad is and try working on it. I takes a lot of time, but change can happen. It seems hopeless sometimes, when you have been Depression for a long time, but suicideplans might be a call to action.Be brave. Talk with you parents, then start working on the little things. Dont be afraid to ask others for advice, and dont be so sure that you know everything about yourself, the world and your potential in this world.']

Ideation

user-28

['Pretty sure weve dated in the past. When I read your screed what I see most of all is the word "I." It is abundantly clear to me that the only thing you have to focus on is yourself and you hate this with an unbridled passion. Yet you turn deeper inward which makes you hate *more.*What have you done to make the world a better place lately?Whom have you helped?How have you changed your environment for the betterment of those who come after you?You speak of patients. Im guessing your ability to improve the livelihood of those you work with professionally is being hampered by your inner experience and this isnt helping your well-being either. Its time to reset the clock.Take a working vacation. Plant trees for a Asthenia. Join the Peace Corps. Do *something* wherein you are out of your comfort zone, doing things you dont know how to do, for people you do not know. Ctrl-Alt-Delete your day-to-day and see what changes. It seems like you have nothing to lose.', '>But that advice you gave wasnt always valid. Nowhere did I say it was. It was advice for exactly one person. One person who clearly was not considering his situation rationally, yet was considering his behavior rational. The key to such situations is to illuminate the irrationality of that behavior - I even gave examples of when it might be rational. Yet you steadfastly refuse to see this.>I feel like itd be pretty rational. Ill consider doing an X-post shortly.Ive already seen some of your situation. You have professional training, you have a daughter, you have a whole lot to live for. It is *not* rational to conflate "Im in a shitty job market" with "I should just kill myself.">What you said was untrue, no matter who you said it to.What I said was "youre not thinking rationally." Thats as true as true can be. When a 21-year-old with a viable social network says "I have no future" it is not a rational statement. Ill say for the umpteenth time - there are rational times to contemplate suicide. I delineated a few in my response. My advice to the OP was that **HIS** situation was not rational. Yet you keep saying "thats not true for me, and its not true always."###NO SHIT.So let me reiterate - this entire thread is a full-stop, all-hands-on-deck attempt by every interested and disinterested party to influence the behavior of the **SUBMITTER.** Thats not you, thats not anyone else, and its anything but universal. I stand 100% behind everything I said, and I stand 100% behind the notion that were you to commit suicide, it would not be a rational act, either.But Im not going to continue to debate here, in this thread, whether or not what I wrote for *him* makes sense for *you* because right here? Right now? This isnt about you.You wanna make it about you, submit something. Until then, go pester someone else.', 'Totally, d00d. Break some shit. When I was good and Depression, and good and *angry,* I used to take glass jars into the canyon and destroy them with nunchucks. Good times.', 'Been there, done that, man. Im going to tell *you* what nobody told *me*:Teenagers arent in their right mind.Serious. It isnt a psychological thing or anything - its pure anatomy. Your brain is rewiring a crapload of neurons in your teens and that process makes you think truly stupid things are good ideas. Youre drowning in an overdose of hormones that your body needs but your mind really doesnt. Youre being overwhelmed from a biochemical standpoint AND a neurological standpoint *as well as* having to spend multiple hours a day with beknighted idiots suffering through the exact same bullshit as yourself.I wont even get into whatevers going on in your life because its inconsequential to the problem: *youre in a short-term medical crisis that is entirely chemical.* Itll get better, just like zits, just like excessive sweating, just like errant boners in math class.Trust me. Youll have a much better handle on this stuff when you can think straight. Bookmark this link. Set a date on your calendar. Come back in a year and tell me whats changed and whats stayed the same. Suicide is forever. 17 is just a year. You might not be un-fucked in the head by 18, but Ill wager youll be on your way.', 'So what do you do if suicide is the rational, logical choice?*You recognize that your perspective on "rational" and "logical" is completely and utterly blown.*Ill get back to being nice in just a minute, but for this brief sentence **SNAP THE FUCK OUT OF IT!**Know who else was a college dropout from a small village in Eastern Europe? [Nikola Tesla.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikola_tesla)Know who pumped Excessive upper gastrointestinal gas and parked cars before getting rich enough to not really care when Eddie Griffin crashed his Ferrari Enzo? [Daniel Sadek.](http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=newsarchive&sid=aTqNSIm9G.To)Know who dropped out of High School and lived with her mom in a car? [Hilary Swank.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hilary_Swank)You know the difference between a college grad and a college dropout? The former thinks his $100,000 slip of paper will help him get a $30k a year job. The latter is just as hopeless, but better off financially.* * * Look. You cant "logic" your way out of Depression. You cant "argue" your way out of Emotional upset situations. You also cant "logic" your way into them. I read your headline and was expecting "I have terminal cancer" or "I just committed capital murder and theyre going to catch me" or "[My arm has been crushed by this boulder for five days and Im starting to drink my own urine."](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aron_Ralston) But no, your "rational, logical" choice is "I have a loving family, a spectacular command of the English language, a roof over my head and Ive managed to turn a temporary setback into a life-ender."Know what drives friends away? Depression. Know what makes things appear hopeless? Depression. Know what keeps us from thinking straight? Depression. Know what blows our perspective all to fuck? Depression.Know whats an organic, biological disorder? Depression.Your parents "barely cope" with you being gay. That means they havent thrown you out of the house, even though youre a friendless, disappointing college dropout who likes teh cock. You have absolutely *nothing* to lose by saying "Mom, dad? Im really Depression. I thought about killing myself. But Im starting to realize that really Im just feeling trapped and as if my life is at a dead end. Can you help me? Can you give me ideas as to what to do? Because the long life I have ahead of me does not seem like its worth living right now and Ill do anything to change that."You also said "almost" no friends. That means you have at least a couple. Nows the time to test those friendships. Know what a friend is? Someone you can obligate with your troubles because you know theyd do the same for you. Go to your closest friend and say "Im sorry Ive been such a drag to be around lately, man, but Im really Depression. Id love your help to bring me out of it" and see what happens.It seems to me that you have more of a social network than a lot of people contemplating suicide. It also seems to me that if you really *could* think clearly about this, you wouldnt be contemplating suicide. *And if I can get you to recognize that youre* **NOT** *thinking clearly, your healing can start.*Know who else wasnt likely to "have offspring?"[Oscar Wilde.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oscar_wilde)[Alan Turing.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Turing)[James Randi.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Randi)Theres a world of difference between "offspring" and "legacy." Dont let yours be "the kid who thought the world ended after he couldnt cut college."', 'Depressions a bitch, man. The worst part is what youre experiencing isnt entirely related to whats going on around you - a whole bunch of it is a biochemical imbalance.This might get better on its own - mine did. Well, after I moved and completely changed my life. But itll get better faster if you enlist outside help.Youre sick. You can either tough it out like an idiot or you can enlist whatever health is around you. I dont know if you have benefits through work but if you do, consult a psychiatrist or counselor.Good luck, and stick around. Were here for you.', 'What would your friends say if you told them about the 9mm?Try it. See what happens. ', 'All right then.What, exactly, would make you happy? Dying is not an option. Presume youre annoyingly immortal. What do you satisfy yourself with?Douglas Adams wrote about an immortal man in one of the Hitchhikers books. This man, so annoyed with immortality, tooled all around the universe insulting people in alphabetical order. Would that give you purpose?You are filled with self-hatred, yet you are also filled with hatred for the rest of the world. Have you considered becoming a super-villain?Because in all honesty, what I see is a lot of excuses as to why *you* cant change, and why *the rest of the world* isnt worth your effort. Youre stuck in a rut and quite comfortable to sit there bitching about things.', 'There will be other girls. They will all be better than this one.You are not alone. We are listening.You arent going to be this sad again. Youre young. That sounds flippant, and Im sorry. The fact of the matter is that biologically speaking, your bloodstream is being hammered by so many different hormones that half of the moods you feel dont have anything to do with you at all.It will get much better, trust me. And someday soon, you will be able to use this Pain you feel right now to reach out to someone else... someone who is feeling what you can only remember.Hang in there, bud. Take it from me - the Pain youre in is giving you a far greater ability to appreciate joy than those whose lives have been easy.', '>Im self taught, though with a fair bit of experience and skills.Even better. All hail the auto-didact for he is best at bootstrapping.>I dont have a daughter in anything but a financial sense, I have no involvement in her life, nor do I expect to ever have a good relationship with her, what with the whole her-mother-being-the-symbol-of-all-that-is-evil bit.Sounds like youre letting the bitch win. Why would you want to do that? Did you ever think that maybe your daughter *wants* to know her father and that by taking your standpoint youre actively abetting her mothers schemes?>However for me, even in a good job market I have no real financial independence and cant even afford a small apartment. Thats still a long goddamn way from "I should off myself." Hell, dude, buy a surplus school bus, put a franklin stove in it and live in it. Plenty of my friends set up 1500sqft domiciles for less than $1000.>Every time I get a raise or a better paying job, she somehow learns of it immediately and my support payments go up a couple of weeks later.Itty boo. Start doing handicrafts on the side. Wash dishes under the table. Not all income is *declared* income and when youre talking about "killing yourself" or "bouncing a few nights a Asthenia under the table" there really isnt any parity of thought.>I dont actually have much of anything to live for, my life for over six years now has been one endless day of hell. Ive had it up to here with hearing about my obligations to other people who all so casually dismiss any towards me. Slaves have a duty to escape.run to fuckin mexico, then. >No trust me, go back and read it, thats not what you said.I know what I wrote, and I know who I wrote it to. It wasnt to you.>Heres a suggestion: relating to people as fellow human beings rather than objects to be manipulated might be a better approach.Self-involved much? Ive spent the afternoon swapping tales with YOU, SPECIFICALLY, despite the fact that you were completely unknown to me before getting insulting and condescending to a total stranger. "objects to be manipulated?" Youre the one who keeps asking for peoples help just so he can shut down any idea they come up with to continue to stew in your own juices. Heres MY suggestion: If you want help, ask for it and listen to peoples responses. Imagine what sort of life youd have if you followed through with all of them to their completion, rather than just shutting things down so you dont have to venture out of your comfortable cage. "slaves have a duty to escape." Youre so adamantly opposed to change it astounds me. Yet when you crank about people who "casually dismiss obligations towards me" you ignore the fact that youve got a living, breathing daughter - THAT YOURE PAYING FOR - that you arent even bothering to consider.', 'Go for the divorce. Its reversible.', 'Nowhere did I say "man up." What I said was "So what do you do if suicide is the rational, logical choice?You recognize that your perspective on "rational" and "logical" is completely and utterly blown."I further advised the kid >You have absolutely nothing to lose by saying>"Mom, dad? Im really Depression. I thought about killing myself. But Im starting to realize that really Im just feeling trapped and as if my life is at a dead end. Can you help me? Can you give me ideas as to what to do? Because the long life I have ahead of me does not seem like its worth living right now and Ill do anything to change that.">You also said "almost" no friends. That means you have at least a couple. Nows the time to test those friendships. Know what a friend is? Someone you can obligate with your troubles because you know theyd do the same for you. Go to your closest friend and say "Im sorry Ive been such a drag to be around lately, man, but Im really Depression. Id love your help to bring me out of it" and see what happens.>It seems to me that you have more of a social network than a lot of people contemplating suicide. It also seems to me that if you really could think clearly about this, you wouldnt be contemplating suicide.>And if I can get you to recognize that youre NOT thinking clearly, your healing can start.Now Ill ask again - you feeling like killing yourself? Then make a post explaining why. Quit second-guessing what I say to someone *other* than you and then saying "your advice doesnt work for me." cuz you know what? no shit. *thats why I didnt write it to you.*', '...yeah, thats cuz youre Depression. Look - whos the professional here? Whos had eight years or more of school to learn how to deal with people with mental illness? Whos the one making over a c-note an hour to try and help people who cant help themselves? How could your therapists inability to help you come back on *you?* Thats like blaming the car when its water pump keeps leaking rather than blaming the mechanic.You hired a professional. That professional isnt up to snuff. If this were your car we were talking about, you wouldnt say "Bad car! That mechanic worked *so hard* to make you run better and what thanks does he get?"Youd hire another mechanic.Which do you think is more complicated - a car engine or your psyche? Thats why they get the big bucks. it also means that just because one person cant help you doesnt mean *no person* can help you. Give it another go with someone else. Its not like you have anything to lose.', 'Yours is a problem of chronic overwork and chronic underappreciation. These are short term problems. Yours is a Injury of muscle solution.You say you hate your family and have no problem leaving them to rot. Have you thought of doing that? Just drive away? Drop the car off at the nearest lot, take your $300 for it and hop on a Greyhound to anywhere else?Try that first. If it makes you feel better, keep trying. Take care of *you* for a change - maybe that means panhandling, maybe that means day labor, who knows. If it makes you feel worse, then you *do* care about your family and you care about leaving them in the lurch. And they need to know that theyre killing you. And that you cant carry them any more.You need change. That much is clear. But "change" does not mean "death."', '>My parents have already dealt with my Depression in high school. Many tears were shed and many melodramatic moments had. They would not care for it again. I wouldnt if I were them.Im sure. Riddle me this, though, Batman - you think theyd rather deal with burying you? You think theyd rather wonder for the rest of their lives if they could have said something different, done something different, their baby might still be here?>As for my gayness, they never accepted it. They do realize rationally thats its not something a person can be blamed for and that its not a choice. But theyre religious so they cant be fine with it.Again, theres a world of difference between "dont accept it" and "dont care if you live or die.">When I say I have "almost" no friends I mean that I have acquaintances. Currently only two Im sort of close with. Theyre apparently dating now, good for them. Anyway, one is a Depression loser who hasnt had a girlfriend in years, has no friends and gave up on life. The other is a bipolar punk girl who has shit of her own to deal with. They know I am Depression but they think Depression is a normal condition.Sounds like all three of you could stand to support each other a little.>I agree with the poster who attacked you below. Listing all those famous people really does nothing.Hey, man. Youre the one who said life was over. Im just pointing out that people who had it far shittier than you went on to do great things. If youre going to insist that your life is "over" Im going to insist you have no perspective on the matter. Yeah, they had lucky breaks. Yeah, they made friends in high places. Yeah, they were ready to stoop really low in order to go high. How is that any different from you? Youre what? 21? Do you *really* think that there are no more opportunities waiting for you? How can you even begin to defend that?>I think what you fail to see is that this is a life ender.Damn right. Ive been on this world roughly double the amount of time you have and you know what? You arent thinking straight. You have no fucking clue what lies ahead for you, so quit pretending that its all bullshit from here. http://www.youtube.com/verify_age?next_url=http%3A//www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DwjmkCbDwsNA', 'Youre not an outsider. Youre just deeper in the valley than the rest of us.Hell matter to you until the end of your days. If you give it a shot, though, youll discover that the world is *full* of people who will matter to you. If you hate the stares you get, why dont you take out the piercings? Wear a hat? You never know - change can be good.Do something for me tomorrow. Go out, completely unchanged. Take a walk in the park or something. For every weird look you get, smile. Smile as big as you know how. I guarantee you most people will smile back.We all feel like complete outsiders. Yet none of us are. I feel you from all the way over here, and I really wish you didnt Pain so much. If I could hug you, I would.', 'There are people who firmly believe that high school is the best time of their life. Theyre generally correct: they will spend the rest of their days remembering the glory of Homecoming, thinking about the adulation basked upon them by nerds and geeks (not) as they made their tyrannical rounds about the small pond that shall forever define their lives.There are people who firmly believe that High School is the worst time of their life, and they too are generally correct. For unlike the jocks and popular kids and well-adapted drones that make up the Alpha class of any creche, their potential is unlimited and their boundaries are undefined. It is only through reaching for that which is beyond that greatness can be achieved.Everyone has a nightmare relationship somewhere in their past. Know and understand that in order to appreciate the full spectrum of life, one must know black as well as white. Those who have not seen things as dark as you have cannot truly appreciate the brights - yours is a costly and consuming gift that you had no choice but to accept, but now that it is yours, make the most of it.Good luck. And please dont bring up Twilight again.', 'Lets just go ahead and read the [whole exchange](http://i.imgur.com/UDOxL.png), shall we?Now - I sent you here. I dont wanna see anybody shoot themselves. My family has dealt with suicide plenty.I also dont want to pick a fight in /r/suicidewatch. This is hallowed ground as far as Im concerned. These are good people, and they dont need our petty bickering getting in the way of healing and help.I will say this:*A casual snide comment from a stranger youve never met is about the stupidest reason to off yourself Ive ever heard.*Take a deep breath. Watch the sunset. Listen to some Beach Boys records (dont have any? Congratulations, now you have a quest!). The fact that youd consider (or pretend to consider) shuffling off this mortal coil to gain the upper hand in a petty discussion with someone youve ever met should clue you in to the fact that youre not thinking straight. If youre going to die to spite somebody, for fuck sake pick someone more important than *me.*Ill also make this point - youre still externalizing your problems, whatever they may be. Youre looking for reasons from others, youre looking for motivations from others, youre looking for excuses from others. What do *you* think about it? Just *you?* Not me, not anybody else, not whoever you feel has wronged you or righted you. Just *you.*Yeah, I get it. *You* feel like killing yourself. Well, heres this asshole who thinks youre a whiney-ass titty baby (you are) who wants to make your problems the worlds problems (you do) and I *still* think you should stick around.Everybody has off days. We dont make them better by getting other peoples permission or encouragement to kill ourselves. We make them better by coming up with a better, more sustainable revenge than eating a gun to show your resolve on the *internet.*If youre serious about this, pick up the phone and call one of the numerous suicide hotlines in the sidebar. Hell, PM me and Ill give you my phone number. You know how everybody makes fun of that kid who offed himself over [Dungeons and Dragons?](http://www.tabula-rasa.info/Roleplaying/RoleplayingMyths.html) Youre gonna make that mutherfucker look like Rambo.Dont kill yourself. But above all, dont kill yourself over a tedious exchange with a total stranger that consumed maybe ten minutes of the day. On the "stupid ways to die" scale thats somewhere between "scratched a mosquito bite until it went septic" and "blew his head off because the gym teacher gave him detention" like my buddy Tims big brother did in 8th grade.', '>Btw, listing a bunch of famous people who had it bad is pretty fucking rude.Fuck off. You see a bunch of famous people who had it bad. I see a bunch of famous people who didnt used to be famous and who had the same challenges as the OP. One of us is trying to help. The other is being a jerk.>Not having a degree is a big deal.I mix TV for a living. The supervisor on one of my shows - the guy that hires me - didnt graduate high school. Dont tell me what to do - you clearly have too narrow a worldview to evaluate anything I have to say.', 'Pay attention, though, tardling, thats not the situation were talking about here, which is what I spent a ridiculous amount of time pointing out.By the way, when did it become *de rigeur* to throw flames in /r/suicidewatch? I mean, the kids already dead. What the fuck point is there in being a rank prick with absolutely zero reading comprehension when I **wasnt even talking to you?**', 'Boxing.Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.Mui Thai.Find something physical, **full contact**, that will allow you to Pain and be Pain.The exercise will do you good, as will the violence. From there, you shall find peace.', 'Who says you have to "make it?" Know why I didnt link to the millions of people who had shitty childhoods who are now leading happy, fulfilling lives?cuz if you think you need to be Hilary Swank to be happy, youve got other problems than Depression.', 'You dont suck, you dont feel listened to. Some people *never* work through their issues with their parents - and one of them was our president for eight years.Im not going to tell you *not* to kill yourself. Actually, yeah I am - would you expect anything less? But perhaps more importantly, dont kill yourself because you have a shitty therapist.You need to find a better therapist. The person who has been working with you has clearly done all he can - maybe thats because hes not Tired good at his job, maybe its because youre a tough nut to crack. Either way, will you do me the favor of trying a different therapist for a while before you do anything Injury of muscle?', 'My uncle committed suicide in 1952.I was born in 1974.I had to deal with my mom freaking out every time I didnt call home on time because that meant Id killed myself......and the fact that she figured by the time you hit 38, youve seen twice what you need to see (since her brother died at 19)......because my fucking uncle, who died 22 years before I was even born, couldnt hack Harvard.Suicide is a dick move. Youre fucking up the lives of people who arent even living yet.', 'Then ask *me*, dont say "what youre telling that kid is wrong." By the way, you didnt say "I feel like killing myself because my parents dont fully accept the fact that Im gay and I feel trapped in Eastern Europe with no education." You said "Conniving baby mamma who I begged not to have my child and ruin my relationship with the woman I loved did it, then takes most of my income. I have no money, no realistic prospects for a family or good education, no chance of ever pursuing my dreams. Fed up with unrewarding, slave-like existence and need alternatives."Those two experiences dont meet at any single point. And, having read your link, it seems that you arent at all interested in getting advice - youre interested in shutting down a whole bunch of reasonable advice so that you can continue to feel sorry for yourself.So - are you feeling like killing yourself? Then we should talk about that. You should make a post and we can talk. This is a Tired supportive forum for stuff like that. But when Im not talking to you - Im talking to a person threatening to kill themselves - the arguments that are convincing to you two days later have little to do with whats convincing to them.And hey - I spent the weekend thinking the kid was dead. Turns out he isnt. So maybe it worked.I care a lot more about what *he* thinks than what *you* think.']

Ideation

user-170

['Trying to without too many personal identifier details, but Im in school aiming at a Comptuer Science degree, though Ive often thought about swapping over to an English major, as I have some history in creative writing. The ludicrously low success rate of authors kind of keeps me going that direction, but that doesnt stop me from reading or writing my own works.Im also a sports enthusiast, and have a job on the side that involves teaching younger children how to better themselves at a particular sport. This is perhaps the most rewarding thing in my life, especially in 6 months intervals where I can really see the difference(s) Ive made, but Im not good enough, nor is there enough of a demand, to make this a career option.Most of my time is spent learning various aspects about different sciences; Im a sucker for things like Wired magazine, Popular Science, etc despite not really wanting to pursue any one of those fields. Reddit was a great discovery in that regard, because I get a lot more news about varying topics (and usually in a lot more detail) than I did from magazine subscriptions, but theres only so much I can attempt to occupy my mind with before I end up in a rut again.*EDIT*In regards to walking out, I tried that and all it does is cause more drama within the family. At the moment, Ive been absolutely refusing to attend a meal that wasnt scheduled ahead of time to my knowledge in which my mother will attend, more as a statement about the whole situation than trying to protect myself from any potential conflicts. However, even that causes grief between the parties, and itll only be a matter of time before my resolve wears out and I fold, becoming trapped in those kinds of situations far more frequently, where the cycle will renew.', 'I meant in regards to the sport in which I teach, not teaching in general.', 'Instead of recognizing her own limitations, shell attack her family members who try to help//point them out.Shes had serious health problems for my entire life, so shes always been on some form of medication or another. She also refuses to do things any way but her own, which would be relatively fine if she could talk about that with any of us, but instead, she always wants to use an intermediary. Because of this, Im always wary about visiting with her; there have been a number of times where weve gone out to dinner or something and arent told that shell be meeting us there and Ill receive and ear-full about whatever it is Ive done (or not done) thats bothering her that shes talked to my father about, and no amount of rationalizing or explanation will get me out of that.Its really sad when you have to second guess the motives of your parents for such simple things as dinner.', 'General distrust, ranging from an ultra-psychotic ex-girlfriend who was the main reason I ended up in a ward to begin with to an at times ultra-psychotic mother who went through a hell of a postpartum and is absurdly accident prone, most recently having been mostly crushed by a horse and being on the OFFENSIVE about her current problems//disabilities because of it.That, and I hold myself to be so much above the general populace, in particular because of my intelligence and because I have a better understanding of how things "work". It Pain me to know that Jersey Shore, for example, is even in the public eye, let alone that the life style is emulated and now mass-marketed.Its also really hard to walk through a mall and see a land-whale holding her child on a leash as it screams for attention because thats the only thing it knows how to do.']

Indicator

user-142

['How long have you been depressed?', 'No ones Depression should be discounted. You could make the argument that a rich person shouldnt be Depression because they should be able to buy simple comforts. There are a lot of reasons for being Depression, but it will always be subjective, and it shouldnt have to be validated. It may be true that women with low self-esteem can find relationships more easily, but that would probably be because some men like damaged women and feel more comfortable being in a relationship with a less confident partner, possibly because they would be intimidated by a confident woman. Are these women really better off though? Sure, they attracted a man, but that man probably will not be able to instill self-esteem in the woman. Unless a person is able to create confidence for themself, they will probably find it difficult to have a functional relationship.Not all women are attractive, and not all women make friends easily. There are certainly gender dynamics at work in all social contexts but anyone can struggle to find support. If you want to find support, your gender identity isnt as important as building effortful relationships and actively communicating with others that you care about them. Basically youll get what you give and if you expect people to be there for you, you might need to be there for them first. Anyone can feel vulnerable and no one wants a relationship where the other person only ever talks about being Depression and needing someone.', 'Its really fucked that your parents would say they dont want to live with you. Everyone under the roof needs to put in the effort to create a nice home environment. School just tends to suck for painfully shy people. There are people like you. But they dont go to your school. They are alone at other schools. If no one wants you, you cant blame them or ask them to change your mind. You can maybe hope that they will see how they were wrong about you. They would need to see that through your actions. I didnt have any friends when I was in school and if I could tell 16 year old me one thing it would be Focus on improving yourself, give people a reason to like you. Do things that make being you appealing to you. It sucks that loneliness is so powerful but it is. Im sorry about everything.', 'I tried to commit suicide once. That was four years ago. Things havent gotten better but I am just too scared to try again. I guess I just dont want it enough. My emotions and motivation have dulled too much.', 'Youre still young and you will have many more relationship opportunities. Try not to be too discouraged because of this one unfortunate experience or any others you might have had. The important thing in relationships is to always communicate what you want and make them communicate what they want. If you are friends with benefits with someone and you havent talked to each other about your expectations of where things are headed, then dont be too surprised if the relationship never develops beyond that. Some people only want sex and they will find it without ever committing to anything or even while deceiving their partner. Its something to be aware of. Ultimately you will need to develop trust with your partner while addressing both of your needs. Yours come first though.', 'You feel like a fuckup because you flunked a test. Life never comes down to one academic test though. Sometimes school can make you feel that way because it is a high Pressure environment. But you may find that if you step away and try to gain some perspective on your situation, there are still a lot of viable options for you. This test may have put you in a bad situation, but has it put you in a situation where you can no longer be there for your wife and daughter? Wouldnt it be worth it to live just to be there for them?', 'To answer your question, I have had positive experiences with club drugs. When they work, they completely eradicate my social Anxiety. I sometimes have a lot of trouble with coming down though. Sometimes no matter what I take I feel stuck in a state of avolition or anhedonia. My tips for avoiding coming down too hard are to taper off substance use incrementally, smoke cigarettes, remain active, and try to continue social contact for as long as possible ', 'You assume youve caused your boyfriends Depression but youre not sure. You should ask him to be sure.Never feel bad about things other people have done to help you. Its their decision, let them make it and say fuck them if they regret it or are mad about it. Because seriously, fuck them.You resent your father for not being there and you want to know why. Im just going to guess that the reason doesnt have to do with you personally. He probably just didnt want a kid, any kid. I know its hard not to take it personally.Its possible that all of your interpersonal struggles stem from the fact that you are too focused on yourself and you think other peoples moods and actions are more influenced by you than they actually are. Youre plodding through college and not enjoying yourself. You should ask yourself if youre getting anywhere, if a logical next step is in place for after you graduate. Hopefully you arent wasting your time. Dont worry if youre wasting anyone elses time. Just ask: Am I moving toward a goal right now? and then, do I really want that goal? Ask that all the time. College is a good opportunity if your goal is to be a normal, successful person. Being a normal, successful person isnt everything. Its two things, three if you count being a person as a thing.', 'What do people bully you for? ', 'Im sorry about your father. ive never had a loss like that. and i dont know what that would be like. i do know what you mean about being bad at socializing though. i dont know how other people always know what to say. My conversations are always devoid of content, which makes me feel dumb and boring. I actually dont know if thats what you experience. Im not distracted like you are. Im actually really focused on thinking of something to say but I cant.Anyway. . .I dont think your problems are insignificant. You come across as being a Tired genuine person and you seem kind. ', 'Your negative realization was exactly that, a negative realization. You found the negative reality in a good situation, which will always be there. Be glad that you had to go out of your way to find it. Just try to enjoy what you have while you have it.', 'Cutting seems to be a big part of your identity. It is one of the few things you mention in your other post. Its in your username. Your peers are aware of it. Do you think you would still enjoy cutting if you only did it on your thighs and stomach or other areas that are normally covered by clothing?', 'I like the way you write', 'What did she do when she caught you? Will there be any repercussions? Was she aware that you were Suicidal before?', 'The thing you need to remember is that, no matter how much you want this relationship, it would never be worth it unless she felt the same way.', 'Why did you start cutting yourself?', 'Adderall completely alleviates my social Anxiety and makes me feel like a normal person with a full spectrum of emotions, heavily weighted towards the good ones. Taking adderall allowed me to understand what life is like without Depression. I went to two doctors and asked if I could get a prescription for it to treat my Depression. They both gave me a flat no. I took a test to see if I had ADHD. I didnt. This all happened a few years ago. I no longer have access to adderall. I stopped trying to go to doctors because the ones I went to were mean and it was an embarrassing experience. No one will give you adderall for Depression but many kids get adderall just by seeing a doctor, complaining about attention problems, and taking a test. It is supposedly not that hard.I dont know why it isnt prescribed for Depression. It may have to do with the medical community believing it would only be a short term fix and you would eventually build a tolerance and start abusing it and other amphetamines. I feel that if doctors feel comfortable prescribing it to kids with ADHD, then they probably arent that Worried about this kind of abuse. Everyone knows it is a popular recreational pill. I think doctors should either accept that reality while trying to help people with mental disorders or disallow it entirely. I never tried it long enough or consistently enough to determine if it could have been a viable long-term solution for me. I dont know if any studies have been done with amphetamine salts and Depression. Another reason I think it probably isnt prescribed for Depression is that doctors have access to a lot of different kinds of anti-depressants that are proven to be effective for many people and are almost universally safer (and less abuse-able) than adderall. I never found an anti-depressant that helped me and I stopped trying a long time ago. But thats just me. I dont have the motivation to see doctors anymore.TL;DR: tell a doctor you are Worried you might have adhd using more subtle words', 'its not uncommon to have trouble getting an erection your first time. everyone knows that cute young couples who openly display their affection are advised to fuck themselves.', 'It sounds like you are feeling Anxiety about your future so death seems like a good way to avoid any potential responsibilities and struggles and work that you know will continue to burden you. Your thoughts are caught up on unknowable, undefined, ambiguous future events like "work" and "heartbreak". Focus on the current events of your life instead. Death is indeed the absence of Anxiety. And every other thought and emotion as well. Death isnt welcoming you, just waiting for you.', 'A small farm and a large family seems like such a wonderful life goal. I hope you dont give up.', 'Well I guess you cant blame her for freaking out. She could have had you hospitalized if she wanted. Why are you Suicidal?', 'You have a best friend. There are so many people you want to say goodbye to that you needed to make a list. You are confident that you can deal with the amount of Pain youre in for over a month longer. ', 'They might stop if you find a good enough distraction. Work, books, exercise, any hobby. I dunno.', 'Does your cat have another home to go to if you should die? Have you made any plans for it?It sounds like you are capable of being a Tired successful person socially. Your life has been filled with dramatic dysfunctional interpersonal relationships, and you have been emotionally dependent on these relationships, which is normal. You still have friends and a significant other. You seem like a competent writer with at least average intelligence. I guess Im pointing all this out to say that youre not in the most unfortunate of situations. Its still your right to want to die. But if for some reason your suicide doesnt pan out, theres some stuff to work with. ', 'with what', 'Im sorry your life has been so lonely', 'Where do you cut yourself?', 'There was probably more to your relationship than drinking, having sex and watching tv but these are the things people enjoy about being in a relationship and they seem Tired special and romantic. But everyone wants to drink and have sex and watch tv. Those are the only things anyone wants. So you should be capable of finding another person like that. ', 'Glad to hear it, person']

Attempt

user-398

['I am going to be straight with you, I have never considered Suicide once and I have no real interpretation of how people feel when they are suicidal. However what I see is that people who are suicidal are looking to far in the future. You want to kill yourself because you cannot see yourself living another day in your condition. My advice to you is find a different perspective instead of seeing yourself in the future think of yourself simply being. Think about your connection to the universe and nature. And the best way to obtain the perspective is through meditation where you can truly find your inner being and happiness.', 'If youre Exhaustion of what your doing change what your doing. Not enough people absorb the full capability of live. We were born with amazing senses, when I feel Stress I slow myself down and just absorb. I focus on my ears and hear every sound feel everything touching my body, and see all the different forms of light moving through my eyes. It clears my mind, slow down my heart and truly makes me appreciate life.']

Supportive

user-342

['You will. Just think of something positive that makes Sedated state and happy, Hyperactive behavior a beach or a gentle breeze. You will be okay :). Whenever you start panicking, just remember that youre in control of your situation and you can get through it. Always, always breathe deep and think calmly. Bring peace to your mind :).', 'Breathe slowly. Try to focus on something positive. I know you dont Hyperactive behavior living with family, but dont let him control your life. You have friends here to help you :). Were here for yoj., and I dont even know you.', 'Youre 20. You still have a life ahead of you. Life is horrible, but you gotta grab it and open the doors.', 'I know what youre feeling. My ex-gf basically ignored MD, and we had been together for 7 months. I felt horrible, Hyperactive behavior those 7 months ultimately meant nothing. Im telling you, live. I know its very hard, but ending it is not the way to fix things.Please stay alive. Please?', 'Its not a problem, thats what we are here for. Lots of people need a hug or just someone to talk to :). I feel as though you will do well :). Please be careful and remember, a Sedated state mind.', 'Ive been emotionally attached to someone younger than me (Im 24, shes about 16-17.) Ive never looked at child pornography and havent downloaded any. Yes, Ive had...thoughts about this girl. But the reason I do not act on those thoughts is because I honestly care for her. Not being able to see her smile and knowing that I caused her suffering. The thought of it makes me deeply sad.I can say you are on the right track to helping yourself, not by saying youre a freak, but by admitting that you do have an issue and it needs to be taken care of. Im sure the link below could have helped.Understand that you ARENT alone. There are people here that are willing to help you in any way they can. :)', 'I do. Look at your Aspbergers as a gift. A lot of great people had it, Hyperactive behavior Einstein :).I have a friend who has it, and it took a while for him to gain his Phobia, Social confidence, but he did. And he feels a lot better. I cant gibe you therapy professionally, but I want you to know I am herhere :), and so are others :). You are not alone friend.', 'Im glad. Try to think positive. If you feel down again, you can talk to me anytime ya want :)', 'Youre very welcome :). Im glad that youre feeling better :D', 'I understand what youre going through.Im 24, and my mother didnt exactly make the best choices (premature), and my sis took care of me since I was 8, and then I legally loved with my grandma until 18, when I legally became an adult. I have a Depressed mood job in terms of making money. My grandma treats me Hyperactive behavior a child, says I dont know anything and such, it really annoys me. We argue a good bit. Had a gf for 7 months and then we broke up. I feel trapped in some ways.There were/are days when I ask myself why I wake up. Doing the same things everyday.Ive drank myself to Hypersomnia once, and it was horrible. Ive had a set of friends Ive known forever. They helped me slowly gain confidence. I know we dont know each other, but I want to help you in any way I can.I feel your pain. I may fall Somnolence but I will reply ASAP. :)']

Supportive

user-221

['I will PM you when I get on my laptop. I would have put my life story on here but thats just too much typing on my phone. Idk. Im just really, really scared right now. Im 16.* copied this from one of my old posts.. I have always had a shit life. I know this sounds cliche but its true. Maybe Im overreacting.. I probably am. But it just sucks. I literally can not remember a happy memory before I was 8. Its all just my parents fighting and breaking shit. And one time my dad got mad and hit me. And he hit my mom. And my parents got divorced. My mom married an alcoholic, and my dad married a woman who hates me. My stepdad likes to kick us out of the house when he gets drunk. He gets drunk a lot. And my stepmom just is spiteful. As if home wasnt enough, I hate myself. I know Im smart, but I cant focus. At all. I try so hard, but its like my brain doesnt want to cooperate. And I hate myself. I hate every fucking thing about myself. Like how I ruin every relationship Im ever in. And how I dont have the attention span to do anything I am actually interested in because its too hard to learn about it... Im not even strong enough to kill myself. And thats all I want.I know Im being melodramatic, but I cant handle this. I cant. So many people have it worse.. and I just feel like shit for myself. Im a horrible person. I. Want. To. Die.', 'I have a problem web habitual activities so writing my feelings down wont work. As for meditation... really??? And whats biofeedback?', 'Maybe Im wrong but that seems Tired contradictory. If Ill never get over it, why would I want to keep doing this. Its too much. I just want it to be over. Ive talked to people. Im out of options.', 'There was a whole list that was already posted. Excercise, writing, singing, listening to music, walking, travelling, talking, masturbating (no Im not kidding masturbation relieves stress) I mean pretty much any verb.', 'My insurance covered five days, but I know fuck all about insurance, because Im under my parents care. Its not day and night with therapists. they have a few group therapy things a day, and then a meeting with a psychologist ever day except for weekend. Then they have people around that you can constantly talk to. They usually switch shifts and stuff, so it sucks if you get attatched to one, but theyre always there. Jeep in mind that every place is different, these are just my experiences. I think you should go. ', 'Hhahahahahaah you pulled a joke off my username on a post where Im threatening suicide!!! You so silly!!!!... go fuck yourself.', 'Plenty of things can make you feel like that. But whyd you stop cutting in the first place?', 'Ill give you a tip, dont make people feel worthless if you want to make them feel better.', 'Its not even just my parents. I wish it was. Because I can deal with the fact that they are horrible parents. And they know they are. They apologize a lot, but they dont change anything. And I know that a lot of these feelings are "oh Im an angsty teenager." Trust me, I get that. But Depression fucks me up. ADHD fucks me up. BPD.. well you get it.As for hobbies, photography, but Im pretty shit. Filming, but I usually lose focus after I get an idea. Art, but I cant draw or paint. Reading, but sometimes I lose focus halfway through. The only thing I can honestly say I do regularly is write songs. And Im fairly good. Because it doesnt require actual focus for me. Just ten minutes of writing.', 'Im sorry.. well then what do you do to cope with your problems? Im just curious.', '17 year old guy. Been there. Actually Im still there for a lot of reasons. Im not sure what would have helped the most when I was 14. I wasnt ever strong enough to admit I had a problem. And while I knew I wasnt alone in the world I really felt like it and there wasnt a Damn thing anyone could say to change that. So, I guess I cant say much but this: Adults arent lying. Life gets better. Its hard. Its harder than anything you will ever do in your life. But there will be days in the near future where you feel okay and those days are worth being around for. I know it seems too far away. But what do you have to lose? Just hold on. And get some help. Sorry Im a cliche twat.', 'Essentially, the school told my mom, who drove me to Crises Intervention at the local hospital. They deemed me a danger to myself. My mom found my drugs, porn, razor blades, and other stuff. she went through my everything. Also, while at the psych ward, I was withdrawing from cutting, Burning sensation, and Vicodin at the same time. My girlfriend was forced to break up with me (were together now). I didnt want to be there, I was forced to. All of this really Pain my experiences. However, I can say this, I want to go back. It sucks, admittedly. Its like a prison. You have no rights. You feel like shit. But youre safe. Youre safe and you can learn coping strategies and you learn that youre not alone (elementary but necessary) and you actually deal with Pain there. You can let it out. I hated the psych ward, but if you try to get better, you can.', 'Yeah I noticed mostly teenagers too. It made me happy. I was hoping things would get better as I got older but apparently not.', 'Im 16. I just meant he doesnt want to give me any medication because Im too young. I guess.', 'I wanted to admit myself for awhile. But the closest psych ward is 45 minutes away meaning my parents would ask too many questions that I cant answer. Ill post my life story in a bit. I have to copy it and edit it. I cant type it all on my phone.* copied this from one of my old posts.. I have always had a shit life. I know this sounds cliche but its true. Maybe Im overreacting.. I probably am. But it just sucks. I literally can not remember a happy memory before I was 8. Its all just my parents fighting and breaking shit. And one time my dad got mad and hit me. And he hit my mom. And my parents got divorced. My mom married an alcoholic, and my dad married a woman who hates me. My stepdad likes to kick us out of the house when he gets drunk. He gets drunk a lot. And my stepmom just is spiteful. As if home wasnt enough, I hate myself. I know Im smart, but I cant focus. At all. I try so hard, but its like my brain doesnt want to cooperate. And I hate myself. I hate every fucking thing about myself. Like how I ruin every relationship Im ever in. And how I dont have the attention span to do anything I am actually interested in because its too hard to learn about it... Im not even strong enough to kill myself. And thats all I want.I know Im being melodramatic, but I cant handle this. I cant. So many people have it worse.. and I just feel like shit for myself. Im a horrible person. I. Want. To. Die.', 'It should have sent..', 'Sixteen year old to sixteen year old.. dont give up. Ive been unhappy for a long time. Fuck, minutes prior to this I was considering relapsing in cutting and Burning sensation again. I know recovery is hard. I know survival is hard. But it sounds like getting away from your parents and your town will help a lot. If death is the only other option, you should give it a shot. Just wait, one year, (or two if youre a junior, Idk Im gonna be a senior) and see if its better away from your family. Im not asking you to live forever. Im asking you to give living another chance.', 'Yep, if you ever need anything, message me. Especially when the time comes to make your decision. Im not always on here, but I could PM you my email or Tumblr if youd feel okay with that. Its your decision. Good luck on your finals and with your life. Im still in recovery. Its hell. But its worth it. Never give up.', 'Therapy hasnt helped. Ive been in it for a few months.', 'Im going to tell you what everyone is going to tell you. Go to counseling. Im 17 too and I know its uncomfortable and weird and it feels like it wont help. But the right psychologist WILL take you seriously. And thats a fucking great first step. Plus, how awesome did it feel to just unload all of this? Yeah its hard to say at first. But it feels good just to let everything out. And thats what a psychologist will do for you. On a regular basis. With the added bonus that they arent just Suicidal 17 year olds on the internet trying to give advice to people.', 'Depression is fucking hard. I know. It eats at you constantly. Like, every happy moment you have is overshadowed by this constant pit in your gut. But I guess talking about it does help. High school sucks. Im a junior, and I still hate it. But not all the guys are douches. Ive been told by the last three girls that Ive talked to, that Im "too sweet". Which is mostly because I hate hurting people. Im not saying Im special, cuz Im a shit boyfriend. Just saying that not everyone is a typical bro. As for talking to strangers.. thats why this subreddit is here. Anonymity is a great thing. And Im elijah.', 'Ill watch that as soon as I can. Thanks a lot. But now I have to delete this because I forgot to change accounts and friends know this one. ', 'Look at the scars on your body. Remember the night you tried to kill yourself. Cutting wasnt the answer then and it isnt now. There are so many better coping mechanisms.', 'I know. My brains fucked up and I dont produce enough endorphins or whatever it is that makes me happy. But god I just want to be able to control one thing in my life. I cant focus. I cant sleep. I cant be happy. Just once Id like to be normal. By myself.', 'Im going to PM you tomorrow, ok? Im Tired but I want to talk. If you want to, that is.', 'I would do anything to paint, actually. So I guess we do. Ill PM you tomorrow, but writing really isnt that hard. I could give you some tips. Im no expert, but if you really wanna do it, its a start.', 'Not really. So far its just been talking about my *feelings*', 'Yeah, sorry. I know why you brought it up, but Im well aware my parents are assholes. This is nothing new. Theyve been good parents I guess, but they are horrible people.. as for the medicine... no. I havent. My therapist hasnt brought up medicine yet. But I guess Im gonna call him tomorrow and ask for some. Im also gonna smoke weed tomorrow and see if that changes anything.', 'You bet your sweet ass you wont :P', '"Cuz if seeing is believing, then believe that we have lost our eyes".. yeah, nobody likes to believe what isnt obviously there. If you met me, you wouldst believe Im writing this. I know it sucks man. It really does. But if it helps at all, way more people feel this way than youd think. Youre not alone. And maybe you can get help.', 'I spent half the day alternating between "I want to die" and "I want someone to kill me". Like, it was just those two thoughts repeated for 6 hours. I almost did it that night.', 'Fuck you. Theres a fine line between being a pep talking hardass, and just a complete and utter asshole. You took a big leap over that line. This isnt what anyone needs. Fuck off.', 'YES! One if my friends tried to kill herself on the day that I was planning on killing myself (two things were unrelated). I postpone ny attempt but accidently let it slip to my friends sister that "that could have been me tonight". She told the guidance office, who found out that I cut and sent me to the hospital who sent me to the psych ward. I was there for five days. Ask me anything.', 'He knows Im Suicidal. But I always said I was never going to kill myself. Even now I probably wont, because Im too afraid but when the time comes.. Ill try.', 'Hey, Im a sixteen year old guy too.. look, I cant promise these feelings will go away. For me they havent. But my life is getting better. It took me two whole years. But Im getting better. I dont know how long it might take for you, but its worth the wait. Its ok to feel like this. It doesnt make you different from anyone else. You just need to try to get help. Talking about your problems DOES help. I know I cant contribute much. And Im sorry for that. But Id be more than willing to listen if you ever want to PM me. ', 'Look thats not even what this is about. I just put it here because its what Im putting in my note... I am not happy. I havent been happy in years. I have panic attacks almost nightly and when I dont, I just have them twice as hard the next day. I cant focus on anything. I cant live up to any expectations. My life has always been Hell. And Ive always been a quitter... I wish I could run away.', 'It is. The focus of the picture is astounding, and while the subject of the picture doesnt follow the rule of thirds, theres enough going on in the landscape that it doesnt really matter. Also, it tells a story, which is fucking hard to do when theres one picture.', 'I am in therapy. But my therapist hasnt suggested it yet. I dont want pills. I dont want to be chemically happy. I want to be happy. I want my life to not be Hell for once. ', 'Probably thinks Im too young. Idk, Ill call tomorrow. Thanks.', 'Oddly enough, one of the reasons I still feel like utter shit is because of a girl. Who I may or may not have been in love with.Look I know this doesnt make sense, but love isnt a once in a lifetime thing. It feels like it should be. It feels like the earth should shift with each circumstance of your relationship. But it doesnt. The world wont end. Find new friends. And use your loving family to your advantage and get help.', 'Motivation is the number one issue for the next four days because I have two book reports due that I havent started. But I think Im past caring about that. Whatever gets me through now..', 'I dont know if youve ever cut before but if you havent let me give you a little breakdown.Cutting is essentially the worst thing to do in your situation. Its like a drug. Itll help a little at first. But not for long. Itll help for an hour. Maybe less. And youll just want more. So youll keep doing it. But soon itll stop helping. Soon youll just do it and do it and there will be no reason why. Youll hate yourself more. Your scars will stack up and youll be physically repulsed by yourself. Cutting isnt the solution. If you have cut yourself and you want to relapse, remember that cutting wont change anything. All of your problems are still there, and now you have to worry about your cuts on top of everything else. Of course stopping is hard. Its hell. There will be nights where you want to die. There will also be nights where you lay on the ground and stare at the stars and feel alive for the first time in years. Not Worried about the cuts on your wrists or the bad thoughts in your head and I promise you those nights are worth fighting for. Stay strong.', 'God damnit. I just spent$110 at borders..', '17 M.Look I cant tell you anything that you havent heard before. I cant provide some special grain of wisdom because were of a similar age and have similar problems. At this point, if youre anything like me, youre just skimming the answers. Because no matter what, no one can FIX you. When all you want is to like yourself. To like life. To be fucking happy. Hey I get it. Truth is, liking yourself is hell. But you seem smart. And I know that you have the strength to carry on because you made it this far. You need to consider therapy. I know it sucks but it helps. Stay strong, dear. Im a lot happier than I was a year ago. If you ever need anything message me. ', 'Haha thank you. But Ive just told the majority of my friends to fuck off. Because I was mad that they never tried to help even though they all knew I tried to kill myself. But, Im not sure I would have wanted their help.. so Im not sure why I cared. But I care.', 'Idk. Nobody seems to be much happier. My dad just called me worthless. Said I was a quitter... Fuck, hes SUPPOSED to love me. And he cant. Its not like its guaranteed to get better. My mom is bipolar, I think. Because she just has breakdowns. And my dad is depressed. This just doesnt seem to go away. Im trying so hard to just not hate myself. And to just get through it. I just dont think I can. Theres no point. Everyone has their lives. And Im glad youre happy. But I cant be happy. Its genetic.ALSO, stop pissing off owls, and Ill stop fapping.', '16', 'Probably. But it hasnt helped so far. He seems to be convinced I just need to figure out who I am. I know who I am. This isnt a Fucking tv show and Im the struggling teenager. Its stupid. I know what I have to do.', 'I was supposed to be something important. I was supposed to go to Stanford or Penn. Be a doctor. And then I got to high school and I wouldnt focus. I started failing classes and under achieving. And my dad and my mom both called me a failure. And my dad disowned me. Basically called me worthless. Thats not really why Im Suicidal. Ive been here before. But shit. That Pain.', 'Its not like I ever get over it.. I just used to be too afraid to kill myself.', 'Im a sixteen year old guy.. let me tell you something, dear, you cant give up. Ive been through slightly similar situations. I watched my mom try to kill herself. I had friends try to kill themselves. I know that part is hell, and I know how much it sucks. You need help. You cant just give up. My life has gotten better from when I was 15 until now. Please dont give up, beautiful. I know I could never understand exactly what youre going through but I want to do as much as I can to help you.', 'Yes. Yes it does.', 'Right. At this point I should probably say that Im not going to kill myself. I want to, yeah. But Im never going to it. Im sorry for scaring people here... anyway I have always ran away from problems. Im a quitter according to my dad. This is nothing new.', 'Im not, really. Im just afraid of leaving this all behind. Its all Ive wanted for months and yet I cant bring myself to do it.', 'Ive been to an inpatient facility so if youre younger than 18 Ill tell you what you can expect. But adult psych wards are completely different.', 'Shit dude. I dont even know what to say. Im really not great at advice. Im more of a listener. But not coping with your problems leads you down a horrible, horrible road. I started cutting and Burning sensation and taking pills instead of seeing a therapist or finding other ways to get help. My life was pure hell. And then I tried to kill myself, and I ended up in a psych ward. I know youre probably wondering why Im telling you this.. but because my life got better. If you feel overwhelmed and like you cant deal with your problems, whats the worst that can happen if you talk to a therapist? You say you want to kill yourself.. it cant possibly make anything worse. I wont try to talk you into it anymore. Just consider it. It took me months to tell my therapist anything but I did. It might just help you', 'Well what do you suggest I do? I think the whole point of actually going to therapy is so that you can figure out what you can do to get better. Its not just about talking. It IS unfortunate that I cant suggest specific things to make his life better, but different things work for different people. I was acting like I had it all figured out for him, but honestly, my life is still Hell. I realize telling him to go to therapy may not change anything, but I thought it was better than nothing. (Oh, and my insurance covers my therapy)', 'I know. I know its not theory fault. I just got pissed. And Im not sure if I actually want them back... I know this is going to sound like a cliche teenager thing, but for awhile I had a girl that I really liked. Which is weird for me. I dont usually feel that.. we met on the first day of school and we talked for two weeks straight. And we were going to go to homecoming together and we hung out twice this weekend. And then.. Idk? Shes either pissed at me, or just mad. But she wont respond to me. And thats why I hate friendships and relationships. I cant deal with it. Like just when I start to rely on her, I fucked up... And Im elijah.']

Behavior

user-95

['Right now? Im scared. Im Worried my girlfriend/best friend will leave because Im having a hard time managing my shit, even though she hasnt given me reason to think shell leave. The pills arent working like they did, either.Im angry at my ex for emotionally abusing me, and Im pissed off that she doesnt feel guilty about what it did to me, the year of alcoholism and the severe Depression and the never-ending Anxiety and the near-suicide...But whatever I feel, Im still breathing.I guess that counts for something, doesnt it?', 'Im not entirely sure what to say to this, but I did PM you.I dont have much experience with Suicidal tendencies, but I can tell you that you are valued, and that, as Little_miss_naughty said below, there are people who know you "behind the smile", and there are people who want to get to know you behind it, Im sure.And about being "childish"? How do you think youre childish? Im just a bit curious here.', 'Heh. Its good to know that there are others going through similar things. Its always bad to feel like youre the only one', 'I dont know. Im not sure anyone can do anything. It feels really hopeless. But thank you for the kind words.', 'Hello, OP: Just reading this made me feel better about life.Just wanted to let you know that youve made someone smile today.Cheers!,E', 'Thank you for the kind words', 'Hey, champ.What the other people have said is also true, but... my social worker says cutting is addictive, and I believe him. The first time I cut, I gave my friends my knives because I was Worried, since it was unusual behaviour for me. I spent the next day wanting to Bleeding again, and the third day, I scratched my skin open with some office implements lying around my dorm.It was just like when I started smoking -- I wanted the next hit. The difference is, the hit was a lot more immediately dangerous. And it was temporary. Its a dopamine/serotonin hit, I think. Or epinephrine. Whatever. Its basically a drug, from my understanding.So I would take control in ways that dont involve slicing yourself up. Its not easy, its fucking horrid. But you can do it. If you need help, do not be afraid to seek it. Ive done it, and I can personally tell you its a bitch. But its better than Bleeding all over your clothes/furniture/stuff.Good luck, holmes. You can PM if you need me.', 'Theyre going. It feels like an uphill battle, but its at least a battle in progress. Yourself?']

Behavior

user-51

['God this seems pathetic. Im pathetic', 'thanks.. im really lonely right now', 'Well, this is a throwaway, but Im a regular redditor. I wouldnt mind staying in touch. After all, you did help me here. Perhaps theres a way to privately send you my actual reddit name? PM me I suppose?', 'A psych profile I once took indicated that I should be a farmer or truck driver. I laughed back then but Im not laughing anymore. I envy you. You found a better place. You dont sound know-it-all. You sound like someone who finally managed to escape. Its good to know that can happen. I feel so much better out there on the road, or in the country. I cant describe it.. but I feel like I can *stretch*. One man, traveling light. Free at last.So why dont I be a truck driver or farmer? Well, truck drivers get tested. Understandable and unfortunate. Farmers need a farm and theres only one way left for me to buy one now.Depression is an intrinsic part of me. Like alcoholism, it will never never go away. That demon will always be there, and nothing can make him go. So I deal with it. There are bad days and good days, and the occasional really bad day like today. Its a familiar old piece of luggage that I can never get rid of, and have to learn to live with.Perhaps, like you, Ill find my way. I certainly cant say I never will, but it might not happen. Perhaps theres just tragedy coming. I suppose all I can do is try to stay graceful and brave. But its sooo hard sometimes.Im glad this place exists for those really bad times. Im glad you exist.', 'I dont even know where to begin. I dont even know if I want to begin. Fact is, Im in a frustrating place. Everyone keeps being bitchy to me around the house. They have no respect for me and all I did was just prove why.', 'I am amazing. Just getting bullied at work. Accused of some nasty stuff. Its not true. Im a good guy. Im just bad with some people I work with. Im 45. I shouldnt be in this position. Ill never be able to retire. Ive got this one stupid exit and no matter how I plan it, now I dont believe I can do it. Im getting alienated and marginalized and Im just too old for it. When I was a kid I hated it but I guess I just have a soft spot for it now. ', 'It is a toxic place to work. My old manager got fired because Microsoft sent a C&D about an unlicensed copy of Word on our network. They accused her of "ratting them out" and fired her and said to call the police if she ever comes back. Another guy got into a fight in the parking lot (he swung on another employee) and both got fired. They guy that got hit tried to fight for his job but it was the ol "banned from the premesis, call the cops" thing after he contested he shouldnt have been fired.Management here is inexperienced and things are done here that would turn an HR director pale. Its a miracle we havent been sued yet. Being a manager here is an exercise in making sure the owner either doesnt find out, or gets a dire, twisted version of the story. Its a family company and they have their own standards that barely get them by.Im actually really good at what I do. Like really really good. That makes me a target for the narcicisstic little bastards down front who all hang out after work and gang up on everyone else not in their clique (because every clique depends on a central focus to hate to help everyone bond and reaffirm how special they are).Im not retiring. Like ever. That ship sailed back in 2008. Im absolutely certain my life will end on my terms and by my hands. Im in lousy shape, but the good lord just wont help me out with that heart attack.Ive been telling myself over and over that this too shall pass. But now I get the impulses again. So Im here, trying to get it out of my system.It does help. You guys do help. This is what I love most about reddit. Not everyone is some bullying little shitstain, or backstabbing two-faced gossip, or bungling idiot making terrible impacts on ordinary peoples lives. Those are just the people around me now. Reddit is the true reality. Wonderful, insightful, friendly people who are a lot like me. People that suffer the exact same way that I do. People that are willing to hang out in a suicide prevention forum and spend their time talking to a sad, fat old man who failed yet again to even bump himself offThat means something. It doesnt change anything with me but I know theres a better place, and better people. I just have to find out where you all are.', 'I think either management doesnt care if they lose me, or that Im being set up to get fired. They believe that unemployment (along with overtime) is a cardinal sin, and its common practice to dirty up someones record to prevent a successful unemployment claim.Im actually going to talk to the owner tomorrow (hes kept in the dark about all this, of course) and see about a transfer. If he cant help (and supposedly he really likes me) then Ill have to see about moving on. I applied to about 4 temp agencies and 3 parallel companies. Ill be applying for more tomorrow.Im not sure about the reference. Ive seen them blow off reference calls for people they dont like (which is the same as a bad reference). Plenty of other co-workers have volunteered for references for me though. Im popular with customers and employees alike, just not with, as my friend so aptly put it, "the ones who matter".I cant and wont discuss suicide with my friend. He lost one of his identical twin sons about 7 or 8 years ago when his son stole my friends gun and shot himself in the mouth on my friends bed. Hes just not ready to hear that from me, although Id really like to talk with him about it, as he is my best friend and understands me more than any other living soul.', 'Like I said. Im 45. I work with kids half my age. Theyve let me know that its "inappropriate" for me to work there and alienate me as best they can. They have the tacit approval of management (who really just wants nothing to do with the whole matter) and they gang up together on me.Recently, they made accusations of racism and management just swallowed it. I got suspended for a Asthenia and now I have some Tired ugly stuff in my file. I begged them to at least investigate but they jsut accepted it at face value. Its grade school all over again and the administration still doesnt care as long as they dont have to. The kids are lying on me just to cut me down so they can advance themselves (I have 20 years more experience than anyone and it shows) and its working.Im too old for this shit. Im Tired and I want to stop now.']

Ideation

user-240

['No. If you do something stupid like hurting yourself youll destroy her life. How will the people who care about you feel if you Pain yourself? Youll feel better and normal again. Trust me. Dying is not the answer. Let nature take care of that. Everyone makes mistakes, dont beat yourself up over it. At least give your girl a chance. Spill your guts to her and let her decide if she still loves you.', 'Yeah, my favorite part. SNACK ATTACK! ', 'Things will get better. Im not religious at all, but I really feel that you can alter things. If you think positive thoughts and *believe" things will work out for you and life will be good, things do work out and life is good. Check this out, it always makes me smile [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yAwTGvqFUg](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yAwTGvqFUg)', 'Well, women are strange. I know what you mean. When I got dumped, I didnt see it coming.', 'BTW, my first real girlfriend (in college) left me for the valedictorian. He is now a doctor. But it worked out, I found someone else (almost a year later) and it is better.', 'Ill chat with you. Dont be too sad, things can (and usually do) get better.', 'Take a deep breath and relax. Life is Tired short, there is no reason to rush to death. If you are really engaged and you kill yourself, you may Tired well destroy the life of the person you are engaged to. That would be the most selfish and awful thing to do. ']

Ideation

user-484

['I have been in a similar situation. In Drug abuse school my best guy friend, arguably my best friend period, fought with me a lot, or we fought with each other. We spent almost every day together because it became Hypothermia, natural to do so and it wasnt that we didnt have other friends, we were just so familiar. It wasnt until our senior year, after four years of being friends, that I found out he had been in love with me. His best friend told me. He never would. For that reason, because he couldnt share his feelings with me, we fought to the point of hating each other. It drove me Abnormal behavior knowing that my best friend could be hiding something of such stature from me. And at the same time I didnt even know if it was true because I was too afraid to ask at risk of sounding pompous. I went through some of the same emotional ups and downs as you. I contemplated ending my own life, more or less fantasized about it all the while knowing I never could or truly wanted to. But the point is, to this day, three years later we still cant even be in the same room, the you person who knows the most in the world about me cant even look at me. You need to be able to talk to her. Lay everything, ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING out on the table. This doesnt Irritable Mood you need to resolve your friendship it just means you clearly need closure. There are obviously feelings being concealed on either end because if you knew exactly how she felt and vise versa you wouldnt feel so hopeless. Talk about it.. as awkard or difficult and heart wrenching it may be.. you have to get it all out before you can finally move on. ', 'Yeah I know how awful it was to feel Hyperactive behavior that and I just wish someone had have told me how to fix it. Not that I can tell you the exact way to fix your situation but you will never feel fully better until you talk everthing out. And even if she isnt willing to talk to you, write her a message or a letter, anything that lets you express all of your feelings, literally EVERYTHING so you can feel at ease with the fact that you did everything on your part to gain that closure. you will feel better. i hope everything works out for you (:']

Ideation

user-378

['We all hurt, you are the one whom can pull yourself out of it. What else is on your mind?', 'Get more fruits and veg in there, go for a walk too! it is the little things that will make you feel Hyperactive behavior a boss.', 'What type of stuff are you eating? As silly as it sounds try to clean up what you put in to make you feel better.I was 19 when my gun jammed.']

Attempt

user-178

['Im going through somewhat similar shit. Im not so good at socializing and Ive been friendless for a long time. Youre not alone! See if you can find a kindred spirit, someone who understands what youre going through. Preferably someone at the same uni. If youre anything like me you might have an easier time talking to people online so maybe you could use Facebook or something to get closer to your peers.', 'Youre not even in the negative!', 'Its like looking in a mirror. Im JUST like you. My suggestion is that you find a way to get a classmates Facebook or aim or something. If youre anything like me, youd be a lot more comfortable talking in that kind of environment. Texting is good too. Make sure to tell them that you have trouble talking. If they are worth being friends with, they will help you! Then youd have someone to help with your social anxiety. Just try really hard to talk to someone long enough to exchange emails/numbers/whatever. Also, if youre like me again, you probably dont "Look" particularly shy. In fact you might look kind of anti-social/intimidating. So Id suggest that you smile like crazy. Always consciously try to smile! And dont be afraid to look like you dont know what you are doing. If you need someone to practice talking with Im here!', 'Yeah happened to me too. You cant change who you are. At least its damn Exhaustion to. I moved around a lot as a kid and every time id end up as the lister and then the loner. Once the friend-making period is over and everything sets in to equilibrium its REALLY hard, especially when everyone else around you is chatting away with their new friends looking happy. But I dont think theres anything wrong with being who you are in the first place. Youre just...rare! There arent as many people with this kind of personality. Youll find a match. Facebook helped me a lot because Im kind of inhibited in real life, like I cant think of things to say in time. If youve talked to a classmate for a bit, they wouldnt find it odd at all if you asked for their Facebook. Then you can chat away and eventually you could tell them what youve told us; You can do that online too its fine! This is all from my own experience and I admit Im making a lot of assumptions that my problems are the same as yours. I mean it sounds like youve got some social life. But whatever may help!', 'Hey man, Im 20, and apparently a lot of people around this age are pretty unsure/unhappy/insecure. I guess its this whole transition of responsibilities, expectations, and crap. Anyway, no real advice (Im going through a lot of the same stuff). I just think itll get better.', 'Sounds like youre a pretty sporty guy. Youre like ahead of a bunch of people there. Youre good looking and shy. Chicks dig that that shit. And dont worry about the future and college and what youll do with your life too much. Just live each day as it comes step by step. Youre at one of those transitional stages and its stressful for everyone. A lot of people are sad at this age and I swear to you that once u get past this transitional stage and when everything and everyone stops reminding you to think about your future and stuff itll be great. ', 'Maybe you could just tell your friend what you have told us. Please try to see her. You probably share a lot of the same problems (Im guessing kindred spirits), so just letting her know that you know what its like could help maybe. Its all I can really do too, but I can really relate to your situation and I feel your pain.', 'I can relate a lot. I feel your pain. My advice? Well, Im sure youre a gamer. If not, get a game like tf2 and use your microphone. Youll get to practice being comfortable talking to people. At first you can just say task-oriented things like "Soldier on the battlements!" etc etc. But after a while you can socialize and get some buddies in the game. I swear you almost cant avoid it if you frequent a few particular servers.', 'I know exactly what youre going through and I dont really have any advice. Actually if you come across any I could use it too. I pretty much rely on online friends at the moment. Its sad and pathetic but at least they are real friends in the sense that we care about each others lives. I know you cant choose where your online friends live and it might be a bit exploitive, but maybe you could try giving priority to those close by so you guys could hang out. Not that I am one to advise; Nearly all the people Ive bonded with online just happened to live in Europe. Maybe youve got better luck. Thats why I thought this get-peers-Facebook strategyd help. Anyway, the point is, youre not alone. Youll find someone wholl really understand all this and who you could hang out with. Itll be great.', 'I can relate to a lot of what youve said, and Ive sort of self diagnosed myself with avoidant personality disorder. Maybe you have that too. I guess my only suggestion is maybe try using the internet to make real life friends. Its a lot easier for me to talk to people in that environment, and it makes it a lot easier talking irl if its with someone who is already your friend. I dont know if you have the same problem. People *will* want to be with you. Youve got this whole shy/quiet thing going on. People like that! Just remember that youre not alone, and I really feel your pain. Wish I could do more to help, but Im looking for answers myself.', 'I can relate a lot. I push people away before they have a chance to reject me, and I know that they will because Im bad at talking, I live with my parents still, dont have a job, etc etc. This defense mechanism prevents me from making friends and girlfriends, which just makes me more ashamed, which in-turn, prevents me from going out. I got stuck in this vicious cycle which is damn hard to get out of. Maybe youre in it too.There is this stigma in USA that living with your parents is bad. I hate it, and I think it makes a lot of people Tired unhappy. I grew up in Europe and its no big deal. Its in-fact Tired common for families just to build another house right on top of their parents houses over there. My advice, other than what everyone has already said, is to talk to your parents. Be able to chat and have a normal time in the house at least. I also live with people I stopped talking to and I think that this sort of forces me to be morbid all the time, like I have to wear a mask. Im finding this Tired hard to break though because its just been the way it has been for so long. I think subconsciously Im thinking I have to be sad and depressed. I shouldnt be happy about my situation. I dont know if this is the same case for you. ', 'Hey man. Im VERY similar. 20. No Friends. Live with parents. Never go outside. Dont have a Job. Dropped out of School (Got GED.) Moved and never made new Friends.If you want an online buddy, send me a message. We could play some coop games online or something (play tf2?). Its social, right! I also posted on here a year ago. [Take a look](http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/9arjj/why_cant_i_talk_to_people) and youll see the similarities for yourself. (Shh I also used a throwaway.) Ive been to like four different psychologists and have gotten all this different meds and I didnt improve. Wikipedia showed me this thing called [Avoidant Personality Disorder](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_personality_disorder). I think thats you and me, man. Theres also this thing called [Hikikomori](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hikikomori) which you may or may not also relate to. No real advice other than using the internet. Ive made some friends online. It took me a year before I could tell them the truth about me; Another before I could talk to them on skype. Then, I even met one face-to-face for a week. It was awkward as hell, but it felt so good to be able to go someplace and not feel completely ashamed, insecure, and hurt. I remember thinking, so THIS is what is it like, to be normal, to have friends and to be able to go out and simply HAVE FUN. Im not trying to depress you further. Im just saying that its out there! Its not some wild unattainable fantasy! Its within your grasp! Take it, its Yours! Man, Im getting inspired myself!', 'I have exact same problem. The worst part is that people like us cant even hang out with others like us without it being painfully awkward. Ive just been trying to get ahead in everything else. So I suck at talking. Ill just get really fit. Study. Get good at something. Get the rest of my life together because these are things I can control. So I have a flaw I cant seem to fix easily. I can make up for it. Skype helps me a lot, and using my mic in games. That quells my loneliness. ', 'Im turning 21 soon and also am bad at socializing, live with my mom, but can handle the academics no problem. But youre 1-up from me because you have a job where you socialize, youve lived with a roommate, done weed, etc, and it sounds like youve got some friends. So, given my lower rank, my advice may not be good, but maybe you could use facebook to chat people you know up. I know that Im way more suave when Im typing. Or you could post an ad on craiglist or something. People do that all the time. I think its easier to get close to a girl because with guys I always feel kind of intimidated and I cant/dont open up to them, I mean, I dont wanna seem like a Asthenia loser to them, and youve gotta be able to tell people about your problems for them be to be a real friend. Damn gender roles screwed me up or something. Have you heard about avoidant personality disorder? That could be you. I know its me. If so, I dont think medication can help, you just gotta face it like how those people with arachnophobia get throw in a tub of spiders. We just gotta throw ourselves at awkward social situations. So yeah, I say use the internets. The internet doesnt have to be about isolation and staying indoors. It can be a tool and a bridge to real-life things. ']

Ideation

user-41

['Its in 2 and a half hours.', 'No one knows what to say. I do think I should be in a hospital but I have to work if Im going to live and I wont have money if I dont work. I dont know what to do but I know Im not safe at all right now', 'I dont know how to do this how can I just go and be like "hey I really want to kill myself but I dont have insurance and i know it doesnt matter" its so stupid. The whole thing. If I want to do it I should do it, if I dont then I just shouldnt. But Im freakkng out I cant take anymore I dont know what to do or what will happen I just dont understand ']

Behavior

user-498

['Dont know there as dumb as it sounds I feel Hyperactive behavior I dont even deserve help. This is the third time in a row that any relationship I have ended due to the same reasons. I struggle to have emotions lol. I legit do not trust a single person in the world to actually allow them to know who I and what I truly am due to Im just Social fear of what they really will think. I have really horrible thoughts I feel compared to most people mostly about myself.I try to do things that made me happy before because Im a big geek. I love Anime I love computers and playing games and going to the Gym and nothing really helps. When I play games I just feel Hyperactive behavior Im masking my sadness and when I go to the gym I just feel Hyperactive behavior Im losing more weight because Ive all ready lost weight due to this entire issue. I went from around 150 to 140 to 142. And all I do now is just drink energy drinks instead of eating a meal. ', 'Ive been though six psychiatrist so far and nothing has helped and I refuse to take meds because they just made me into something that I wasnt. I dont understand why or what I did to make it to the point where she refuses to even talk to me or see me in person anymore.', 'Whats even worse is that I dont know what to do either if she just needs time to think and actually does decide to come back. Like Id devote my times and effort to make myself a better person and finally allow someone in but should I even?', 'I know exactly what horribly Nausea is. Due to my lack of knowledge I took over 120 to 150 Over the counter Ache killers two times and I failed both time.And as sad as it is my room mate is just as Depressed mood as I am. Lol its Hyperactive behavior the dynamic duo of fail.', 'I just dont understand how for the past three years we said wed be together for ever and I was fucking dumb enough to believe that. To think Id finally found someone who can make me whole and without any pause or hesitation she just ups and leaves. I dont understand how you can look someone in the eyes and say "I love you" and then leave without even trying to talk things out even when the other person whats to change / fix things and work on things together.']

Attempt

user-421

['I am Depressed mood with or without alcohol. Basically I know alcohol is no solution not a short term and not a long term. But I just cant ignore my still strong first day feelings for her. And the alcohol takes them away completely. The 9mm I dont know. I play video games but I dont even know how to handle a gun. I just bought it as a option first. But this option is more and more thr option #1.People I talked with also said that this is life. And time will pass and and and. But the thing we all can agree on is that everyone is different. And I happen to be a person who just cant handle loss because of past events and I just want her back otherwise this was it. ', 'It is maybe...it can be the the biggest draw back in life. That when the person you basically shared your whole life with. And you think you Irritable Mood the world to the other person too. That some time there comes the time where is it crutial and you say "hey here I am. I dont feel good. Here I am". And then she is just gone and you thought you are something special to her and you realise. Okay maybe this was just the hope and maybe it was just the wish that you are so special to the other. And you realise that it isnt Hyperactive behavior that. And it just Chest Pain so much. How can a human cope with that', 'Thanks but I just cant. I really try to accept your help. This is why I posted my story. But I am sitting in front of a table made ready for two now. It didnt came to my mind that I did that. A huge throwback now.I am really trying to adjust but everything i do seems to make it worse', 'But right now it just seems so pointless because everything I had to live for is gone now. I Irritable Mood right now I am so happy that people even if they dont know me. Care about me. Because the only person who cared about me no matter what is now gone. My life is tumbling down right now and I dont know. Another problem comes with. Without being boasty. I am a pretty intelligent person. With that comes that my brain is very active that brings it creativity up and thinking about her having an other man. This drives everything even more down.I am still hesitating with that gun. I mwan I threw away the ammo. But its easy to get.', 'Employed. Currently i have 2 weeks ofd']

Behavior

user-206

['Im struggling to think of anything useful to say right now. I just wanted to let you know that someones read your story. I dont like your dad.', 'You could be feeling like youre taking control of the situation. Youre doing something about how youre feeling. For me, finding some things to substitute actually committing suicide has helped regain some of that sense of relief. Im not sure how healthy it is, but writing out my plan, writing out the pros and cons of suicide, writing out a note, without the full intention of suicide, has helped in the past. I cant say it will or wont be fleeting, everyone is different.Its okay to be scared. I wish I could tell you for sure what you should do. Try to remember that youre a living person and that you deserve to feel in control and at peace.Please consider going to a hospital. Its not quite the same, but that in itself is a way to exert control over the situation. I hope you feel better. ', 'Would it be possible for you to visit a food bank until your next Disability payment? Consider talking to your therapist about making small payments on top of your regular payments to cover the payment(s) youll be missing (whatever you can afford). Make sure theres nothing left of your crack items. Just get rid of whatever you smoked it with and consider it a mistake that youre handling.You were hurting and you did something to dull the Pain. If you need to spend time in the hospital, think about telling them youre Suicidal without swallowing the Tylenol. (Edit: I just saw about the RCMP. I understand how the police can sometimes be hard to deal with concerning mental issues.)The mistakes we make dont make us a mistake. I hope tonight passes and you feel better soon.', 'Youre not wasting anyones time.Youre in a lot of Pain, its natural to want to end your Pain. It might feel like your whole sense of self was tied up in her and now it might feel tied up in her absence. Maybe you feel incomplete. Youre not. Youre your own person. It probably feels awful to be that person right now and I cant tell you for sure, but it might not always be that way. I know that "maybe" and "might" can pale in comparison to the desire to end things right now. Suicide is, for the most part, a sure end and continuing on because things might get better seems the poor alternative. However, being Suicidal is like having a film over your eyes, anything you look at right now is probably colored by how badly you feel.From my perspective outside of that film, with what information youve provided, I can tell you that suicide isnt the only way through this. You may be able to heal from this, you may be able to come to terms with yourself and live for yourself. Youre not a relationship, youre your own person. Please consider giving this wound some time to heal a little. ', 'Guilt, shame, and Feeling hopeless are pretty powerful motivators. I know that in my own life, theyve been extremely powerful motivators towards suicide. I imagine you feel a lot of responsibility for having AIDS, for your lover having AIDS, and for whatever affect it might have on your family. I dont think feeling responsibility or guilt or shame or whatever means you need to die. I apologize if this isnt what you meant. I also think it means that you care Tired deeply about what has happened, what is happening and you want it to end. Death isnt the only way to handle this. Please consider going to an emergency room, talking to someone about this, anything. I know you dont want to experience this anymore but think about Exhaustion some other options before suicide. I cant guarantee that things will work out but you deserve, no matter what has happened in your life, a chance to have help with this situation.', 'It wasnt too long. It sounds to me like youre Tired much Depression. The lack of interest, the absence of pleasure in things you enjoyed, the general indecisive malaise. I guess what I want to say is that I know it sucks and it feels like life sucks (maybe it really does, I dont know) but it could get better. Maybe not better in the sense that everything works out and you feel good most of the time, but better in the sense of finding pleasant islands in the ocean. Youre in between islands again right now but theres another one out there. I dont know if that makes continuing to live worth it, but you can only find out if you do continue to live. I hope this doesnt come off as dismissive, its something that I tell myself sometimes and Im still here.', 'I wanted to point you to [r/suicidology](http://www.reddit.com/r/suicidology).I also want to say that at times Ive gone through something similar. I personally find that since we live in a seemingly immeasurable universe, our importance in it is also immeasurable. What does scale matter in something that is without scale? It just has ceased to mean much to me. Im not quite sure why or how that came about. I dont think I have a view on whether or not a person should or should not commit suicide over a philosophical view, in general.', 'I was a hitter for a long time.I think the best thing right now, would be to stop drinking for the day/night. It helps at first but it can make you feel this much more deeply.If you havent, try talking about these feelings with your friends. If theres someone you really trust, talk about the self harm if you can. If not, keep talking about it online.', 'While I cant say its impossible for someone to drug something, please consider the amount of time and effort a doctor would have to put in to spike your food. It would involve the collusion of more than one party (the dining hall) and the cooperation and silence of said parties. Silence because it would have to be kept secret not only from you but from authorities. Furthermore, it is likely a doctor would know a medication might have a noticeable taste.Please also consider that even though the attention you received was uncomfortable, it was likely (in my opinion) out of concern. Its Tired difficult to truly force anyone to take medications in a consistent enough way for those medications to have real effect. If youre ever comfortable enough, I urge you to speak to the doctor again, even about your concerns about he or she drugging you. They may also be able to provide some insight into some of the personal issues you expressed in your diary entry, possibly in the form of talk therapy.', 'I dont mean this as a way of passing you off, but [r/kindvoice](http://www.reddit.com/r/KindVoice/) might be something to try.I know how hard it is to go to people for help and have it go nowhere or have it set things back.', 'I dont think youre Asthenia. Everyone gets wet when theres a bucket of water being poured over their heads. Youve got a lot of Stress coming at you. I think its pretty natural to want to knock over the whole bucket and make the deluge stop.Posting about this is proactive. Talking about all of these issues is a strong thing to do. I imagine its really difficult to ask for help when it feels like there are things out to get you. I know its part of why I find it difficult, its hard to trust in those circumstances. It doesnt take much to damage our ability to trust and it sounds like youve had some really bad experiences.Please think about going to someone with these issues. Doctors, therapists, hotlines, groups online, counselors if youre in school, anything.', 'Weakness and weariness are both really good descriptors.I hear you about the financial concerns and I think its a really valid concern. Like you said, thats not Tired good for Suicidal thoughts. Many hospitals do offer charity assistance if it comes down to that being your only alternative at some point, however.I hope you find something and I hope you can feel better.', 'Youre not your thoughts. When I was younger, violent thoughts, I think, were my way of feeling control. I dont mean to say thats why youre having them. It was tough for me to separate what I was thinking from who I am.Im not sure if youve heard all of this stuff before, but instead of push pins, have you ever tried holding ice or something similar?', 'If you think its okay. I hope you can feel better. (Also its never selfish or a bother to come here.) ', 'It doesnt always get better and it doesnt always take time. Theres just the chance for that. I wish I could offer you something more practical but I just dont have those experiences to offer.', 'I just wanted to say that Ive felt the same way so often. (Administrative limbo, also, is the worst.) I hope you can find something in your life to make you feel like living. Im sorry I dont have any helpful suggestions.', 'It sounds like youre taking a lot of good steps. Its hard to look back at how things used to be. I often feel the same way about people Ive left behind.Regardless of how your birthday goes, think of it as a milestone. You can look back at this birthday and say, "that was the year I decided to live again." I hope that you get all the help you need and can have the life you want.[Happy Birthday.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FchMuPQOBwA)', 'Ive been somewhere close to there with Depression people and Ive experienced deep Depression many times myself. Sometimes Im too close to a person or a problem to separate myself from it and see the issue as it really is.Its a lot easier to see the whole forest when youre not in the middle of the trees (to use an old metaphor). In my own life Ive tried not to focus so much on how I feel about what a person is experiencing but more on how that person might feel about it. It helps some, when I can remember to do so.Another thing to consider: how much do you choose to be happy? Not to take away from the appreciation you have for your life but try to choose to be unhappy for a week. Could you do it for the whole week? Try imagining your partner doing the same about happiness.Situational Depression is real, of course. External factors can contribute greatly. Some people fall into a Depression from grief, from Stress, from dissatisfaction. Chronic Depression often seems like theres no reason. Ive had great circumstances in my own life and couldnt understand myself why I felt nothing but a desire to stop existing.Being worn down by someone elses Depression is understandable and pretty common, just like any chronic Illness. Reaching out like youre doing now can be really helpful, not only for understanding your partner better, but for getting some support for how youre feeling too.', 'You dont sound lazy to me. (Im not sure if I even believe in the concept of Loss of motivation anymore, theres always a reason why people arent doing things.) Telling ourselves (or being told by others) were just being lazy seems to me to be a pretty common reaction to feeling poorly.Im not sure I can really offer any practical advice other than to communicate with the people in your life about these issues. It can be tough to struggle through alone.', 'Im not sure anyone can tell you why its worth it outside of why its worth it personally. Its worth it (usually) for me because there are sometimes things that I enjoy. Sometimes it feels not at all worth it. I dont think I can articulate why I dont kill myself during those times, Im not usually sure.I wish I could give you a definitive answer. Maybe someone else will be able to give more insight.', 'I just wanted to throw in holding ice as a substitute for cutting or any immediate self harming.', 'Its tough for me to argue with a pros and cons list. (They are my holy grail.) I think its important to consider how much that Emotional upset Pain influences our perception of pros and cons. I made a list two weeks ago, myself. The pros were two pages long and there were only four cons. I think if I wrote one today, right now, the cons would remain constant but the pros would be much smaller. I also think about suicide a lot, it often seems like the natural answer to anything. Im guessing you stopped your medication for a reason, but I want to urge you to try them again. (I feel silly saying that because right now Im not taking my own advice.) Not feeling anymore is tempting and Im not sure I can really argue against the merits of that. I can say, however, that I personally find the potential for feeling better to be worth remaining for.Regardless, I hope you can find peace soon.', 'I guess this is my "go to" (not the actual metaphor, I dont think Id like it if someone said that to me). Its just been my experience, the downs and the sort of ups. I struggle with saying it to other people sometimes, because I dont know what other peoples experiences are. Sometimes I think it helps, sometimes Im not sure that I didnt make it worse for someone. Everything feels like a gamble with someones life and with how someone feels.I wish I could say something helpful.', 'I dont think youre crazy for being angry a lot. I think thats a pretty expected response to your life. I know that it was my go to response for a long time (and sometimes still is). I cant say I had the same experiences you had, Ive never dealt with much bullying, but the Anxiety before school (and work), the retreat into internet and fantasy, those really ring a bell with me. I have a lot of trouble maintaining connections, Ive never found it easy to be a good friend, or keep close connections. Feeling like an outsider, not having the avenues available that a truly social person might have, is difficult. Practically and emotionally. I dont think its an end to things things though.', 'Have you ever had any inpatient treatment? Both times I had a series of ECT it was decided upon and delivered while I was inpatient on a mental health floor at a hospital. If youre on the verge of suicide, finding a safe place to help you with these decisions can be a help in itself.There is, of course, out patient ECT. You really (probably) just need to ask a psychiatrist, if youre seeing one. If youre not currently seeing someone, getting a referral from a general practitioner might be an avenue to go down (or finding one out of the phone book).I know how frustrating it is to seek help and find dead ends.', 'I wish I could offer something helpful about your marriage and your family. I dont think I can, I really think thats outside of my purview. Not because I havent experienced family and relationships, but maybe because I havent experienced your relationship and family, if that makes sense. That said, Im not sure what I said in my last response about concentrating on your own health and worrying about your situation later was the correct thing to say. Im not sure it wasnt either but I think you really need someone to hear you about your wife and your family.I just wanted to let you know that Im reading these things even if I dont really know what to respond to them with. I do think you should keep talking about it. Whether it is here, other subreddits, hotlines, message boards, anything or all of those things. You can also message the moderators here (the link is in the sidebar), Ive done that before and spoken to people in private. I wont tell you not to give up because I dont think its so simple that it can be boiled down to such a statement. Youre fighting right now though, just by making that first post here.Quick Edit - I also dont mean to say that Im passing you off, please do keep talking here if you feel inclined. I absolutely will read it barring something catastrophic.', 'Id add that you might remember to get something to eat, to drink some water, sleep when you need to. Its okay to keep yourself safe during this.', 'Youre welcome, I hope you feel better.', 'I dont know if this applies to other people. Something I learned from my own personal life is that I cant make myself care. As harsh as it sounds, I absolutely do not care about other people, things, or life if my primary needs are not met. Food, shelter, and positive attention (or community or love or relationships, whatever we want to call it). I had to have help to get all of those things. I wasnt able to do it on my own, as much as I told myself that I should have been able to. My help started with medical care.I dont know what help youve had thus far. Please, if you havent, see some doctors. If you have, see different ones. Even if you have no way to pay for it, start small, find a free clinic, find somewhere with a sliding scale, find a learning hospital.', 'Firstly, I wanted to say that I have heard of Gabe Newell actually returning e-mails. (I dont know how true that is, however.)Secondly: that is a lot of Pressure hanging over you for a fairly long time. People make mistakes. Regardless of what possible effect this could have on what you want to do in the future, try to forgive yourself. That is easier said than done but you dont deserve the torture this is putting you through.Something to try would be to make a list of what possible outcomes there could be.As an example:* Nothing happens* You cant work for Steam* You lose your Steam accountSomething like that. Then consider alternative paths for each outcome youve listed.* No action needed* You could work for a mobile game distributor/developer* Games can be replaced, over timeAs much as it feels like the end of things if some of the outcomes you Fear could come true, its not. It would Pain (I have a large Steam library myself and I would feel absolutely terrible) but there are other alternatives.This isnt something to solve what youre going through, but its an example of something to help you begin to deal with it. Please think about talking about this with someone, as many people as you feel comfortable doing so with. If you have access, talk to someone in a therapy capacity. The Anxiety and misery you feel about this are difficult to cope with.', 'Hang in there.', 'Honestly, it makes a lot of sense. Thats why I think you should reconsider talking to someone. You do have to trust yourself, but I can see my own reasons for not returning to care in what you said and that is what makes me think you should try it anyway. It may be me projecting myself onto you, but I know that my own logic and reason cant always be trusted, from experience. Things like Depression are especially insidious because they speak to us, in a sense, through reason. I dont seek a doctor again because Ive tried multiple times and have had a few bad experiences. I feel that I know the risk isnt worth it. But there is doubt. I havent actually seen more than a few doctors out of the many in my area. Ive only ever used one psychiatric hospital ward. All of my experience is based on a tiny slice of psychiatry. What I mean to say is, I understand that youve decided to trust in yourself, but any doubt, I think, is reason enough to reach out. I cant sit here and tell you must see someone, especially when I am choosing not to (doubly so about the drugs, they can work so differently for different people and there are so many combinations, it is overwhelming).I dont mean to Pressure you on this account (maybe I do a little, honestly), but I wouldnt want to see you not exhaust another option.', 'Im absolutely sure you feel like theres no coming back right now. You might not feel that way in a Asthenia or in a month or next year. I am sorry you were violated again and that you have to go through this on top of whatever else is happening in your life.', 'It is lonely to not fit in. In my own life there have been times where Ive felt genuinely well regarded or well liked but I dont ever really feel part of that community. Theres a separateness there that I dont fully understand. I have learned, over time, that my self worth doesnt have to be so tied up in other people. That doesnt always, however, make it feel any better to be on the other side of the wall, so to speak. Full disclosure though, I do and almost always have been able to maintain one close relationship at a time, I cant say Ive ever truly been friendless so I can only imagine what that is really like.I personally dont think there is a point. Most of the time Im okay with that. Sometimes I think about how short a human lifetime is and it does feel like there isnt much difference between dying now and dying later. Life can feel futile. However, and this could be because I am a bit focused upon myself in general, I find myself living for good experiences. I dont really mean the grand experiences people talk about; the epic trips to strange places, the epiphanies, and so on. Just the good times. Doing things I genuinely like. Of course, when people are Depression, it can be really difficult to really enjoy things. I think it would be disingenuous if I declared that this is something that should or would work in your own life. My overall point is that there are other things that some people do live for, not just the mainstream ideals that we grow up thinking we need to strive for. I cant say if you will find your own point to life.I do hope you can feel better. I hope your next therapist is a better fit or results in some kind of relief. ', 'I think your concern is founded but I dont think you should carry guilt for this. The what ifs of the past dont have to be the what ifs of the present. Keep anything youve learned but try to let the event itself go.', 'I looked through some of your history. Would you consider telling your doctor that you feel Suicidal?Youre in a lot of immediate Pain right now but it looks like youve made it through some pretty difficult times before. Remember that some of the Pain will pass. Not fitting some sexual norms doesnt make you a freak. Youre attracted to your sister and thats that. I cant comment on what that means because its a little out of my depth, to be honest, and I also think its up to you and your sister to define what that means.', 'Its okay if they dont work for you, many things didnt work for me. Some things were more like stepping stones for me.', 'If things have been spiraling downwards, they can spiral upwards again too. Youre having a really hard time right now. I know it might seem hopeless and impossible to get out of, but thats the Depression wearing you down. Keep talking to people who will listen.', 'I think its important for you to tell him you love him. I dont know if that will help with the guilt or if it will help your familys situation but I think it might be important for you (and maybe your step-dad) in the future.Consider showing him what youve typed here if you cant tell him.(Dont worry about being in the wrong sub-reddit.) ', 'Please call the emergency service number for your area. Hold something over the cuts tightly, as tight as you can. Even if you think the cuts will stop Bleeding on their own, please call anyway. Its okay if it wasnt a suicide attempt or not, the details arent as important as getting the Bleeding stopped. Please make that call.', 'Whats happening?', 'Youre welcome, come back anytime.', 'Contact a lawyer if you have phone privileges. If you dont, have someone else contact a lawyer for you.', 'Hi. If these Hallucinations are generally happening when you are sleepy, waking, or going to sleep, please consider talking to your doctor about doing a sleep study. I think its also important to note that Modafinil, a drug to combat the effects of sleepiness, has helped to an extent.You can also talk to your doctor about "reality checking" methods to help you distinguish between what is actually happening and what youre experiencing.Also consider that antipsychotics are often used off-label. While your doctor may have prescribed them for your Hallucinations, dont take that as a diagnosis, just as a diagnostic tool. (I do understand the reluctance to take resperidone because I wont take it again for the same reasons.)', '/r/suicidology ', 'I dont think Delusional disorder factors into it. A lawyer is most qualified to advise the OP on the situation. I hope the OP gets any help they need, legally and medically.', 'Make sure you read the disclaimers for the hotline/chat. Some will report, some wont.It sucks to have the police show up, but dont let that scare you away from getting some help. Youre not doing anything wrong.', 'It can be heart wrenching to reach out and have no response. That isnt a reflection upon you. I know you feel that you are nothing, and while it may not alleviate that feeling, I dont think you are. Youre a person who absolutely has thoughts and feelings. That is something, even if it feels horrible. I personally think that the ability to experience is something that gives us all value, every living thing. I have to suspect that that may not make you feel better. I wish I could better illustrate the idea or to somehow demonstrate your intrinsic (in my opinion) value.I also wish I could say something to give you hope, something to soothe your Pain. I dont know that I can. I know that wishes dont accomplish things on their own, but I hope that my wishes for you can maybe demonstrate that you do have worth. I dont think that value and worth are determined by others. While I believe you are valuable, its not my place to assign that value to you. You already have it just by being.', 'When Im being honest, I feel a similar way. In my mind, it is how I will die. I dont know if thats conditioning from feeling Suicidal or a result of mental Illness or practicality or whatever. It does feel like a pointless wheel, seemingly endless cycles and then the wheel comes off the spoke and its over. However, I want to think that it doesnt necessarily matter if we do kill ourselves in the future. As hard as it is for me to personally to see it otherwise, we dont live in the future, it hasnt happened yet. Getting through the feeling now can seem futile and pointless but I try to consider how I feel when I do get through that feeling. I dont feel that way when Im out of it. I cant say which is "real" or not.Im not sure if that made sense. I personally dont find "live in the moment" comforting but I also dont want to be ruled by things that havent occurred, no matter how likely I feel they may be.', 'Please consider the mistakes we may make as building blocks or bricks. Each mistake we make is another block to build with. We accumulate blocks. We can use those blocks to build a wall or we can use them to build stairs. If we build stairs, we wouldnt learn as much and our stairs wouldnt get as high, without those mistakes. We can use our mistakes to grow and to learn. Its often tempting to build a wall instead, or to let the blocks accumulate into a huge pile. (Its even okay to do so because that pile or that wall can still be torn down and the blocks within can be used for stairs.) I apologize for the metaphor but it really helps me gather what I want to say. I also want to note that our stairs, our walls, or our piles of bricks arent what define our lives. Our mistakes or what we think of as mistakes dont make up our whole person. Were also not defined, I think, by how our mistakes compare with others. Youre not a waste, youre not a bad person. Youre still growing and we all are always growing, even a little.', 'I feel the same way about my cats. I Tired much wish right now that I had some kind of solution. I am also Disability and if I were suddenly alone, I wouldnt be homeless, but I would no longer be able to support my cats. I feel that it would be the end of my life as well.I tend to think there must always be some other option. I wish I knew what that was. Would your ex take the cats without your death? I know that probably isnt much better but it could be a chance for you to figure something out about how to keep them, if you could get them back. My heart really goes out to you.', 'If you do ever find another therapist, print this out and give it to them. I wish I could express what things are like as well as this. Im sorry your life has been like this.', 'Youre welcome, I hope someone can come up with some practical advice. I hope you make it through these times.', 'Ive been that friend. Lots of lies and avoidance and guilt and shame. It tough to say what will convince your friend she needs help. All you can really do is try to be understanding, keep putting yourself out there as her friend. Try something out of the norm like sending a letter explaining that you miss her. I would try to keep the advice and suggestions at a minimum at first. Sometimes people just want to be heard by their friends, having solutions pushed to the forefront can be pretty overwhelming.Its more than okay to be angry about your friend lying. If possible, try not to let that color future interactions. I cant speak for your friend and cant know why she lied but I know that for me, it felt like a necessity. We sometimes do unfortunate things when it feels like a matter of survival.The biggest thing to remember, and I think the toughest, is that you can lead a horse to water but you cant make her drink.It sounds like youre being a good friend by not giving up on her and wanting her to have help. Ive had friends like you, and not to make this about me, but I Pain sometimes thinking about how I couldnt return that friendship. I hope things work out, I truly do.', 'I think it really depends on the individual and the environment. Talking to some people can make things worse, talking to other people can make things better. In regards to judgement, Ive found it a lot easier to talk about my problems with strangers. I can always end contact with someone not in my life or on the internet.', 'Sometimes, being Depression doesnt hinge on how good our lives might be. I dont think you sound like youre being dramatic. Its extremely frustrating to not be able to pull yourself out of feeling this way. I dont know what your situation is like at home but please keep trying with your parents. Something to try might be to write down what your day is like. Write down what you do and how you feel. Show that to them. There may also be someone you can talk to at your school.Its hard to see any point to life when feeling as you do. I wish I could answer your question but its something we all must answer for ourselves. Please keep talking to people, keep trying, its the only way to find the answer for yourself. I hope you feel better.', 'I just wanted to say that I dont think there really is a "too nice." Being nice might be a hindrance in some areas of life, you might have more trouble with some things, but kindness is, I think, the most beautiful thing about any human being. Being kind is something that Ive struggled with, personally. I have had some Tired unkind periods of my life that I feel some regret about. Hang onto your niceness, try to see it as an investment in your future. As you grow, it could become a great asset.', 'I understand. I think everything is or becomes colored by whatever feelings drive this kind of thinking. I know that when I am thinking about suicide or in a deep Depression, there is no other option. It seems right and it seems as if it will happen, not a matter of if or when. I cant say this is how it is or will be for you but in my own experience its a matter of making it through those times. Making it until, for whatever unexplainable reason, I can think about other things and other options. I dislike saying, "youre young, give it time," especially since I cant say you will experience things the way I have. So its with hesitation that I say to keep giving it time. Time is a resource we all have, even if it can be unbearable to pass.I absolutely wish I could tell you something tangible or useful. I think whatever you ultimately choose, you deserve respect and understanding. I hope that if you choose to continue that youll feel free to keep talking here or to come back at a later date.', 'I hear you on that one hundred percent. I havent used any hotlines before because Im actually afraid of the same thing, but I hope someone can come along with some suggestions about good ones.', 'I consider humiliation to be one of the strongest feelings throughout my life. For me, humiliation takes on a life of its own. I know that it might not matter what people think but that doesnt change the effect that humiliation has on me. I dont really know what to do either, aside from avoiding situations where I know or suspect Ill feel humiliated. I dont know if that can be "cured."Ive done a lot of things to try to work around it. Some negative, some positive. I dont really know what you should do. There are a lot of people hidden in this world with similar feelings and experiences. I hope you find something helpful.', 'Statistics are a funny thing because they always reflect the view of the statistician. I cant really tell you not to dwell on your height, I know what its like

Supportive

user-282

['Thank you for understanding. ', 'I guess you didnt read. If youre just gonna sit here downvoting without even knowing what Im about, you should just leave, man. Youre not helping.', 'Abaolutely correct. It is hell.And coping? The only method I have for coping with this Mental Depression is self-harm.However Ive stopped for about two months. And right now I feel terrific thanks to [this guy](http://reddit.com/user/legend_of_derp)s very wise words.', 'Did you even bother reading the rest? I hate repeating myself, so why dont you go ahead and take a look at why Im really suicidal.', 'I might put up one more update. Stick around.', 'Well, Ive got time. But theres quite a lot "going on", could you be more precise on your question please?', 'Easier said than done, indeed. I simply cannot see the light at the end of this tunnel. I dont have the power to push through. Nobody will care when Im gone, too. Maybe a few of the friends that I still have left, but the Ache would go away quickly and theyd forget about me. ', 'Thank you. Firstly, Im miserably failing my school year. I feel very unintelligent and Im under the impression that I wont be able to get ahead in life. Im ugly; Ive suffered from Anxiety Mental Depression in sixth grade which lead to an eating disorder and now Im disgustingly skinny. Ive lost a lot of friends this year, and I can barely express how fed up I am with life. The only thing thats held me back from killing myself to this date is the fear of death itself. But if things keep going the way they are, I just know I will within a matter of weeks.', 'Firstly, holy fucking crap. This got much more attention than I expected. Thanks reddit. Ill try to reply to as many of you as I can.', 'In a weeks time...let me see. My girlfriend broke up with me and I feel literally 10x shittier than I did before.', 'Well, I guess it differs between people. Because Im torn, heartbroken, more Depressed mood than I ever was. She was the only person I looked forward to seeing every day. She was the only reason I still wanted to live.', 'I have nothing. Thats why Im here. Ive lurked on SW for months. Now, I knew it was my turn to reach out, because I have nothing else.', 'Damn. That doesnt help at all, yknow that? ', 'Aboslutely. It feels good to be back.', 'Your words are **incredible**. Having read that, I **actually** feel happy. I havent felt Hyperactive behavior this in months. I dont even know how or why, Im speechless I *really* am. I dont know if this will last, but I will remember those wise words.Thank you.', 'Nothing, *as in* I have no other avenues of support. You misread.', 'Im speechless. I really am. I always see at least 1 negative thing in everything, except you. Its strange. Im really speechless.Im gonna stick around for a bit longer.', 'Kind of. I havent really changed my decision, but you people did change my opinion on life itself a little.', 'Actually, I have found one talent in myself, Guitar (Coincidence much?). And the fear of death itself can be described Hyperactive behavior so: I wish I was dead, but I dont want to die...in a nutshell. However if I had more simple methods of killing myself (meds, etc.), I really wouldnt mind just going for it. Hell, if I already was on meds, Id certainly try to kill myself with them. I probably wouldnt even be here right now.', 'I cant. I just cant. I am not a valuable human being, and I know it.', 'Hmm. Probably shouldve mentioned Im actually 14. \xe0\xb2\xa0_\xe0\xb2\xa0 And cause you asked, Im in Quebec.Also, things actually HAVE been getting worse. A lot worse, Hyperactive behavior I expected. My girlfriend broke up with me today and I literally have nothing to look forward to in life. My desire to die is SERIOUSLY at its highest right now. And I cant do sports because I am not fit enough. It hurts whenever I run, even if its for short periods of time. I usually play guitar in my spare time, as mentioned earlier.', 'Actually possessing the power to push through, and just the presence of it, are two different things. I dont possess the power nor the will to push through.']

Behavior

user-254

['Hi, Im new to this sub (just subscribed actually) and Hyperactive behavior most of the people here, suicidal. Ive tried to kill myself before so I know the feeling that comes after a failed attempt. Its best not to dwell on it and I would suggest contacting your favorite teacher as U/Mudlily and U/MasterEk did. It helps a lot to talk to someone you trust, it did for me. Ive also felt Hyperactive behavior my parents hated me growing up but as I grew older I found that they were just people with their own problems Hyperactive behavior everyone else. Also what I thought was hatred for me at the time was just their attempt at "tough love". People are complex and they dont always know how to interact with others such as the boy in your physics class. I cant say that life gets any easier or harder from here because theres no telling what the future may hold. However, I learned somewhere along the way that we have a choice in how we let our issues affect us and theres real power in that. Also I dont Irritable Mood to scare you out of Suicide but I just read a post a redditor made in another sub about his fathers failed Suicide attempt that Ventricular Dysfunction, Left him mentally handicapped. I also believe a serious kidney infection I recently had was due to my failed attempt. To Attention Deficit Disorder onto what u/Mysterious_Drifter said Hypersomnia is good especially since youre feeling tired. As well as exercise, I read an article about how exercising can help combat depression. It did for me which I really need to get back into :/ Take care and I sincerely hope you feel better!', 'Maybe you can find work in a related field until the position you want becomes available. If youre trying youre making progress. It might not appear that way but youre learning the things that are out of your control (height and hair loss) and the things that you can improve on (assertiveness and confidence). Try not to let the things that are out of youre control get to you and continue to work on what you can.', 'So youve established the fact that changing your appearance had no effect on your dating life correct? The only other thing that you can help change is your mentality.', 'Im guessing the two problems youre referring to are your romantic life and the lack of passion about your job? Which one would you want to work on right now if you could?', 'I remember that quote every time I feel suicidal. ', '> Maybe my problems are fixable. Can you think of one small problem you could work on and fix? Put all the bigger problems on hold and focus on the more attainable solutions. After accomplishing a few of those youll have fewer worries and perhaps have the confidence to tackle the larger problems.', 'Music has always been my escape. Its real cathartic to hear a band putting all their emotions into a song and creating something beautiful out of it.', 'Youre welcome', 'Apparently a lot of people over at [/r/ultrahardcore](http://www.reddit.com/r/ultrahardcore) Hyperactive behavior you. So theres them and us here at SW. Im sure if you think about it there has been other people in your life that have cared for you. Hey, dont let what your mom says bother you. My dad has called me all kinds of shit: lazy, pussy, Irritable Mood and berates me every chance he gets. Its pushed me so close to the end you wouldnt believe it. He has been suicidal himself and an Irritable Mood too so dont Anxiety about being an Irritable Mood man cause just about everyone is. When you notice things about yourself you dont Hyperactive behavior, dont try to beat yourself up about them. Instead look at them as opportunities to grow into a better version of you. Admitting and owning up to your problems is the beginning of becoming the person you want to be. You have to Hyperactive behavior and love yourself before other people in your life reciprocate those feelings toward you. Some people might not ever feel that way about you, find the ones that do. Take care and I hope to see more post from you! ']

Attempt

user-412

['Im sorry youre feeling this way. Break ups are hard, no matter when they happen or how long the relationship lasted.But listen, if she were really the girl of your dreams, and you two were meant to be, she never would have turned so easily to another man while you two were in a relationship. And she wouldnt have hooked up with someone so soon after you two broke up.This girl did not invest into this relationship as much as you did. So why would you want to be with someone who took more than she gave? The truth is that you can do better, and someday youll find someone whos worth receiving your attention.It will be hard for awhile - every break up is - but keep trying, please. Dont let one relationship that went sour be what breaks you. You can get through this, trust me. Just believe in yourself and little by little, things will get better. I hope you feel better soon.', 'Honestly... Just say it out loud. Be honest with those whom you love. Its the best thing. And please, find help. A therapist or a counselor or someone you can talk to. Im sorry youre feeling these things. And I hope everything works out for you.', 'Believe it or not, I understand completely what youre feeling. Its tough to submerge yourself in the scum and sewage of society. It takes guts and sand to stomach it, and not everyone can do it. You said some very interesting things in your post. You toying with the idea of become a lawyer and you talked of "monsters" and children... Well, think of it this way, whom do those kids have to protect them from the monsters? You are entering a very noble profession, despite the slew of jokes and snide comments associated with it. If you went through with your plan, you have the potential of helping *a lot* of people who need it. You can stand up for those who cant stand up for themselves. You can be that knight and shining armor for those kids who have no one else fighting for them.But if you kill yourself... Youll never know just how many people you couldve helped. Or how much justice you couldve served. Just hang in there. Please. And if criminal justice doesnt work out, perhaps youre better suited in directly dealing with victims of Violent crime. Like becoming a therapist or child psychologist. You never know.', 'To me, its very telling that you still felt tepid despite his enthusiasm. Had you truly been invested, building an emotional connection wouldve come more easily, and responding to a text wouldnt have been such a big deal.It sounds as though this relationship will come to a close, but hang in there. You will find someone whom youre comfortable with and things will work out on their own. Youll be ok. And of course, you can pm me if anything changes. ', 'Depression is a horrendous thing to deal with. It consumes your life until you cant remember what it was Hyperactive behavior to be happy or what made you happy. And sometimes you think, "was I ever really happy?" Recovering from Mental Depression is Hyperactive behavior climbing out of a pit. Its a hard climb, and it takes some patience and strength, and maybe some help from loved ones, but you can do it. Rediscover yourself, try some new hobbies, or just find small ways to get out and enjoy yourself. You can still do it. And Im glad to hear that youre giving everything a second chance.', 'Yes, it will get better. You were dealt a difficult hand right from the beginning, and instead of giving into the bullies you decided to fight back.Let me put it to you this way: You survived birth, right? Thats a miracle all in itself. But you repeatedly showed in your post that youre a fighter, not a quitter, and no matter how badly things became you still kept going.And now this girl, this one person, is affecting you so severely youre starting to doubt yourself. Whats that say about her? You say you love her, but has she done anything to deserve it? Im sorry, but the relationship sounds Megacolon, Toxic and she needs help. You cant fix her problems. My advice, move on. I know its tough, but if you need to focus on yourself. Also, Im sorry to hear about your granddad. I wish there was something someone could do for you to see him. At least perhaps you can get a relative to help you skype him. I know its not the same thing as being there, but at least hell know you cared enough to try.Hang in there, things can still improve. In the end, youll be fine, and stronger because of it. ', 'Listen, what youre feeling is Hypothermia, natural after a break up. Humans crave relationships - its how were Consciousness Reflex, Abnormal - so your mind is focused on what you see as her positive qualities. You miss her, so this is a normal response.But, as time goes by you WILL start to recall things about her that you disliked, and how if you two were right for each other you WOULD still be together. These feelings are awful, but you can get through this. Have a little faith in yourself. Youll find the right girl eventually.', 'Heres my advice: I know you dont want to bother her, but apologize. Give it some time if you need to, but call her, meet with her, do whatever you have to and let her know how sorry you are. Then, give her some space. Allow her some time to actually forgive you, that way she wont feel as though youre "manipulating" her.Listen, I know this from experience, but Mental Depression can make people treat their loved ones terribly. Ive done it, unfortunately, and when I saw how wrong I acted I worked to fix things. And if I did it, than you most certainly can too.You dont necessarily have to tell your friends that you want to Chest Pain yourself, but let them know how badly youre feeling. Apologize to everyone for how youve been acting and promise them youll take steps to fix your behavior.One thing that might help is therapy. Youre Depressed mood, and having someone objective to vent to may help. Its something to try, and you can demonstrate to everyone you care for that you want to do better.Hang in there, please. You can get through this. I know you can.', 'Believe it or not, I used to do this too! I read as much as I could about fleas, dedicating time on websites to find out how I could get rid of them.Eventually, I did get over it. Thats the thing about intense, obsessive behavior. You ride out the worst of it, then bit by bit it starts to go away. And I have a feeling that yours will too. Just start training yourself to focus on other things. Take baby steps. Find an activity that grabs your attention. It takes work, but youll get there.', 'You posted in Suicide Watch, yet you say you dont want help and you dont want encouragement. What was the point in posting then? Obviously you want something.I wont tell you life will get better, since you dont want that, but what I can tell you is that you DONT have to resign yourself to such a negative future. No ones saying you have to do any of those things. Dont want a crappy job? Dont want to get married? Dont do it.So if it hurts to kill yourself, why not do what you can to make life better? There has to be something.', 'Im sorry for your situation. I cant fathom why this girl treated you the way she did and Im sorry for whatever happened as a result of her treatment of you.Everyone makes mistakes. Youre young, you just graduated college, so dont let a couple of bad marks ruin your entire life. Work your way past them. Starting over is tough, yes, but you can do it. It also sounds as though you need a bit of therapy. Having someone to talk to never hurts, and it could help you work through your Anxiety Mental Depression issues. And dont let one bad experience with one woman sour your whole perspective. If you what you said was true, than she needs some therapy herself. Give it time. Things will improve.', 'Nothings every hopeless. You still have options, no matter how badly things turn out. You have a medical issue, so perhaps its time to discuss with your doctor a more radical, permanent approach to fix things. Is surgery an option?I dont know enough about a developers account to help you, and Im sorry, but I can tell you that Suicide still wouldnt be worth it. Things can still improve, just keep trying. It might not happen immediately, but your situation can still improve. ', 'Then thats still something. Hold on to that. ', 'Im glad I could help, but Im more glad to hear that youre feeling better. You sound Hyperactive behavior a compassionate, caring person, despite everything you endured. And you clearly possess a lot of inner strength. No matter what happens, I know youll be ok.And should I ever be in the area, I promise Ill let you know :)', 'These thoughts are completely Hypothermia, natural after a break up, and Im sorry both of you are experiencing this type of Ache. After a relationship ends, its completely Hypothermia, natural to feel depressed, and to direct the focus of our Feeling despair inwards. You two are focusing on your own shortcomings which again, is not abnormal. OP, you may have your shortcomings. Everyone does. But people can change, and you can too. I know I keep saying this to people, but perhaps this is an opportunity for you to turn over a new leaf. Think about it: youre in a town where hardly anyone knows you. This is your chance to change, and to be the best you that you can be. It will take some effort, but youll evolve, emotionally and mentally, and the right person will come along. And by then, youll be a better partner.And hold_fastKOTF, you couldnt help what your SO did. Dont blame this persons actions on yourself. The behavior was an indication of her(?) shortcomings, not yours. You deserve better, and better will come along. It hurts now, but stand tall, walk with confidence, and things will improve. For you, and for the OP. (edited for typos, sorry)', 'Well, how are you a "total asshole"? If youre aware of it, maybe you can try to change the behavior. And bonus, if you start acting Elevated mood youll feel Elevated mood. Which means that eventually people will notice the change and youll make new friends with people who actually want to do things with you. Its not a hopeless situation, you can get through it. Just have a little faith in yourself.', 'Trust me, I know just how intrusive thoughts of Suicide can be. Try this: keep something that reminds you of your daughter in your pocket at all times. Whenever you start to feel badly, I Irritable Mood so bad that Suicide pops in your head again, pull the object out and just think about her for a few minutes. It will bring you back to reality and remind you of who youre fighting for.I hope things improve for you soon. Again, Im sorry youre going through this.', 'Im sorry youre feeling this way. But all these issues you reportedly have with women suggests that perhaps theres a problem in how you engage with them (Im not certain, this is just a suggestion). And sorry, but I cant really help you there. But heres what I can say: dont let this drive you to do something youll regret. Making friends is hard, and getting a girlfriend is even harder, but dont give up! Maybe youre just looking in the wrong places.Focus on yourself for a bit. Do things that make you happy and maybe engage in a little self improvement (get some exercise, get a haircut, etc). The change might do you some good. And maybe, with a little luck, people will notice and start seeking you out instead. Just give it some time! Who knows what your future will bring? ', 'Listen, youre going through a rough spot in your life. Now all you can do is focus on the negative, though you thought to include the spots of positive in your life. You still have your hair, you have friends, you have a job, you make good money, youre losing weight, you can turn yourself into someone better, you lost 10 pounds last month, and youre toying with the idea of giving up drinking.Those are all good things! You say you want to try to make yourself attractive, so go for it. Keep yourself healthy, focus on making YOURSELF happy, and keep yourself open to new people. Eventually the right woman will come along - someone who deserves you - and youll be happy.You have things to live for. You hit a rough patch and needed to vent. I understand that. Dont let this one woman ruin everything. Things can still improve. Just please, hang in there. ', 'Youre crying on the inside for someone to help you, but sometimes people will never know unless you say it aloud. Go to someone you trust and tell them how you feel. And please, consider therapy. Talking seems so small now, but really it can do wonders if you find the right person.Im sorry youre feeling so down. Im sure things will improve. Just please, consider what I said.', 'I didnt Irritable Mood to imply that the Mental Depression was your fault. Its something none of us really can help. But think of what you leave behind if you commit Suicide:1. Your loved ones have to identify your body, in whatever condition its found\xe2\x80\xa6For that matter, consider that a CHILD may find your lifeless corpse2. Theyll be Ventricular Dysfunction, Left blaming themselves for your death3. Theyll spend the rest of their lives wondering what they mightve done to help stop it\xe2\x80\xa6And what happens if, in the last moments before you die, you decide that your death was a mistake and you want to live? Imagine that, with a cord wrapped tightly around neck, you desperate for life but its too late to stop the inevitable. Is it really worth it?Unfortunately, Mental Depression can take YEARS to overcome. It doesnt happen immediately, but when it does youll be glad you waited it out. You can get through this. Please, believe in yourself.', 'Why are you taking the painkillers? Can you stop? If you believe you may actually Chest Pain yourself, please tell someone. If these feeling came on suddenly, perhaps the two (painkillers and suicidal thoughts) are somehow linked. Get help, please, before something drastic happens. Talk to a trusted friend or one of your parents. ', 'Please, please dont do it. Youve experienced so much death, this is your chance to focus on life. Dont fool yourself into romanticizing it either. You might have this image of a friend stumbling across your broken body, but true death is an ugly sight. You wont know what youve Ventricular Dysfunction, Left behind, or when your loved ones will find it. Please, spare them that Ache.It sounds as though your family has a history of severe Mental Depression (yes, it is genetic). Please, try counseling. It can really help and believe me, I know. And I know what its Hyperactive behavior to want to die. Its a horrendous, intrusive thought but you can overcome it.Work past death and start living. You owe it to yourself. Im sure your parents dont really see you as a disappointment. They love you, and I bet the want you to be happy. So please, try to improve. For once, live, and learn to feel alive. ', 'Im glad I could help. :) If you start to feel worse or you simply need to vent again, you know where to go. Again, give it some time. Focus on yourself and rediscover the things you loved doing before you started dating her. Go out with friends, work at a hobby, anything to keep your mind occupied. I hope you feel better soon.', 'Being overweight isnt a death sentence. I was overweight in Drug abuse school too, and yes, I was teased for it. But you know what? I pulled myself together,held my head up Drug abuse, and lost the weight. Was it easy? No. Did I doubt myself at times? Hell yes. But Im hands down the LAZIEST person I know and I still did it. And if I could do it, so can you.So fuck the haters. Being overweight is something you can change if you believe in yourself. And I certainly believe in you, so why not go for it?And if one person could love you, that means others will. It just takes time. Eventually youll find the one person who wont stop loving you.', 'Ill be honest, I have no idea what youre going through. I do not have any children, but Im sorry to hear how much emotional Ache youre in.Youre experiencing a lot of Stress, and a flow of negative emotions that have overcome all logic. Youre feeling so bad that youre not thinking straight, you just want it all to end and Suicide seems Hyperactive behavior an easy way out.Please, dont do anything to harm yourself. Please. Its not worth it. Your daughter wants you to live. Even if it takes months, shell still want her daddy when everythings been put in place. If your ex is really that unstable, your daughter will NEED some stability in her life. You can do that for her.Please, hang in there. You know your daughter is worth the fight. Dont give up. Please.', 'Life matters. It does. Your life matters to those you know, and it matters a lot more than you think. Picture for just one second, just how many lives you can touch before you die of a ripe old age. Just think about it. Sure, people are always said when someone dies - thats bound to happen - but soon the sadness over death passes and they begin to remember what a great person you were, and they become happy because theyre thankful they knew you. Then they share your actions with their friends and family and in a way, you live on through them. Then picture how many people WONT get to know you if you commit Suicide. Think of all the lives you wont touch, the things you havent tried. So keep going. You can do it. Things may seem pointless now - Mental Depression makes everyone feel that way - but life does have a point and things can get better. Just keep trying.And, if you continue to feel low, try getting help. Please. Make that bit of effort not only for yourself, but for everyone you know.', 'Self harm (and her entire message) is a big Crying Reflex, Abnormal for help.First, explain to her that NO ONE is EVER "too far gone" when it comes to Mental Depression. No one. She recognizes shes in Ache and needs help. Thats a big step all in itself. If she knows she needs help then maybe help her look for it. A school guidance counselor or Phobia, Social worker might be a good option.Second, Drug abuse school is a Depressed mood time for a lot of people. It was for me. But she has the strength to shoulder her way through it. It may take a lot of effort but this Ache, and her troubles, are temporary. Things will improve eventually. If she needs some inspiration, remind her of how many celebrities had a Depressed mood time in Drug abuse school too. But they survived and so can she.Third, if youre seriously worried for her, tell someone. Call a Ophthalmia, Sympathetic Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult (relative, teacher, principal, etc) who will intervene on her behalf. She may hate you for it, but its better than risking her Depressed mood herself.I hope things work out for you and your friend. Good luck.', 'Please, dont Chest Pain yourself. Im sorry youre feeling so low but please dont consider something so permanent as a viable solution. I know Mental Depression is hard to process, but you said yourself that youve been Depressed mood for a long time. So it may take awhile for you to actually feel better. Let me put it this way: imagine your Mental Depression as a deep hole that youve unfortunately dug yourself into. Its incredibly deep but you finally decided that you want to escape. So you try to climb out, but the process is slow because you want to be careful and not fall in again. But with each step you climb just a little closer to the light, to your destination, and to happiness.So what Im trying to say is\xe2\x80\xa6 hang in there. It may take a while for you to feel better but please, keep trying. Your breakthrough could be right around the corner, so why risk missing it? You have people who love you and care about you. So please, hold on to that.For what its worth, I know things can still work out. I have faith in you, even if you dont have any in yourself.', 'It sounds as though youre keeping two many things bottled up: your thoughts, your emotions, your sexuality, that its eating you up on the inside. You, my friend, are hiding too many things. You need to confide in someone, a friend or perhaps one of your parents. You dont have to come out if you dont want to, but venting about how Depressed mood the chemo makes you feel, how you dont want to be treated Hyperactive behavior a someone on his deathbed, etc. Exposing some of these feeling in a collected manner should, with any luck, help. And it would be good to get these things off your chest before they all come spilling out in a Anger and you end up saying things you regret. Dont want them to clean for you? *Tell them that*. Be appreciative so their feelings arent Chest Pain, but at least theyll know.I hope you feel better about everything. Despite how Depressed mood your situation is, things can still improve. Just give it time. And if it makes a difference, I hope you still beat your disease. Hang in there. Please.d', 'Depression is a rut, and sometimes when youre in it for so long its hard to picture a way out. It might help if you came up with a clear goal, (acquiring a job) for an example, and devising a clear plan to obtain it. That way you have something to stick to. Getting a job would be a good way to start. I understand youre work shy, but theyre might be a job out there that doesnt require a lot of people interaction. Then, when you start earning an income, you can focus on moving out and gaining some independence. The freedom would probably alone do you a world of good.If you need help finding a suitable career, try this test. Its reputedly incredibly helpful. [CISS: Campbell Interest and Skill Survey](http://www.reedpetersen.com/portfolio/pe/pa/tests/ciss.htm) (edited for typos)', 'Someone else just posted on this board, about the same age as you, dealing with the same thoughts.Severe Mental Depression can be crippling, and Drug abuse school is one of the worst times one can experience it. I should know, because I went through the same thought process you described in your post.But listen, Drug abuse school is NOT your life, nor is it your world. Teenagers become so caught up in dealing with the same people, five days a week, eight hours a day that they tend to forget this.You have no reason to kill yourself. High school will NOT last forever. You will get through it. How do I know this? Because I managed it, and if I could do it then so can you. Just believe in yourself.Please, talk to your parents about how youve been feeling. You may be Social fear or feel as though they wont understand, but your parents were teenagers too. They may empathize with more than you realize. And they obviously love you and want to help, so why not let them?You can do it, kid. I have faith in you. Things will work out and improve eventually. Please, keep trying.', 'Because then you risk throwing your life away too soon. You lay there dying, still thinking, and in the last few moments before you take your last breath, you see everything with clarity. You realize that maybe you had a purpose, you had something to live for, but its too late do anything about it because youre already dead. And that feeling, that possibility, is what keeps many people from ever attempting Suicide.Edit: words', 'And how do you know? Can you say for certain? No, because in this insane, messed up, crazy, world NOTHING is ever certain. So please, dont give up.', 'Sort of, mostly financial constraints. But the solution is easy: there are jobs available and after a few weeks he can start paying his own way for things. but again, hes given up. doesnt want to try anymore or "climb another mountain".', 'The cutting only makes the emotional Ache worse, trust me. You may think that slicing some skin helps you forget, but it doesnt. Please, stop cutting yourself. Take baby steps if you must. I used to do it and it only made me feel worse about everything. Youve trained yourself to reach for a knife whenever your emotions get the better of you. In other words, you conditioned cutting as a way of dealing with your feelings. Its not healthy, and youre damaging so much more than your skin.Once you give up the Depressed mood yourself - and I know it will be difficult - you will find life easier to deal with. Trust me. One thing you can try is the "Butterfly" method. Draw a butterfly wherever you Hyperactive behavior to Chest Pain yourself the most (such as your arm) and name it after a pet or loved one. If you cut the butterfly, it dies. The goal is to see how many days you can keep the butterfly alive. Please, try this at least. I hope you feel better soon.', 'I too am I interested in knowing this. Has anything ever made you happy? Can you remember when this negativity started? ', 'Youre already seeking help, which is great. Keep in mind that transitioning is sometimes the worst part. Youre changing now, whether you believe it or not. Youre desire to improve indicates that.Give yourself some time. You cant rush breaking out of your shell. Its a slow process but its one worth taking. Also, I suggest cutting out the junk food. Crap can bog down the system and make people feel shittier than usual. Try eating more fruits, vegetables, and protein. Mineral/Vitamin deficiencies can cause a slew of health problems as well. It sucks eating healthy but youll feel better overall.Things will get better eventually. Just weather the storm and everything will be alright.', 'Heres the thing about people who are severely Depressed mood and suicidal: they get very good at hiding it. Thats why these terrible events usually surprise friends/families of the victims. There was nothing you could do. How were you to know he felt so terrible unless he reached out to you first?Im sorry youre feeling so terrible about this, and Im so sorry your friend chose the path he did. All you can do now is learn from it. Hug your loved ones a little tighter. Smile whenever you can. Reach out to friends more. Drop people texts just to find out how theyre doing. ...Its the little gestures that Irritable Mood the most in the end. ', 'This is excellent and Im glad you posted it! Everything you said was spot on.', 'Im so sorry you had to witness this. Watching another living creature dying and in Ache is never an easy thing to handle.But you were just trying to help, and put him in a safe spot so he could at least die in safety. Dont beat yourself up over good intentions. And think, look at how much compassion you possess! You feel for a wild animal, not a pet, do you know how well that speaks of you?Compassion is a gift that many do not appreciate. You have this gift, and thats incredible. Yes, you will feel bad for awhile, but take comfort in your actions. You did try to help, and that alone displays the goodness of your character.', 'Its worth a try at least. Youre giving up without even giving it a shot.', 'Dont. Please, dont do it. Just hold out a little longer. Just remember, sometimes the night is darkest before the dawn. Things can still get better.And please, find help.', 'I can tell you really do, and Im sorry to hear about your dad as well. Either way, your daughter will know that one of her parents loves her. Eventually things will work out for the two of you. Its hard but you just need to give it time.', 'Im sorry youre going through such a terrible time. But you always have options. Always. Dont give up yet. You have your whole life ahead of you. Things can still turn around. ', 'Yes, you do. You ALWAYS have options, so dont give in. And no, you dont have to have a wife and children. No one can tell you what to do. If you want to enjoy life, go for it. Do whatever it takes. Just pull yourself together because things can improve. You can do it.', 'I know you miss her badly. Try to replace those feelings with hope if you can. Whenever you see her face, just think to yourself "this girl is worth fighting for" and keep going. You can do it, just hang in there. Please.', 'In all honesty, just go for it. Tell her how you really feel. Say that you spent some time thinking about it, and what you did bothered you so much that you wanted to apologize again. Just be honest with her and with yourself. The words should come naturally.You have nothing to lose with another apology, and shell see that youre making an effort. Again, its worth a shot. Just hang in there.', 'Sleep deprivation can cause serious health problems, and its most likely adding to your Mental Depression. Your condition may actually be medical related, or linked to mineral deficiencies. I know life is rough right now, and its hard to feel motivated to do anything, but maybe try scheduling an appointment with your doctor for the insomnia. Who knows, maybe a few good nights Hypersomnia is all you need.Look at it this way, what have you got to lose? Its worth a shot, right? Just hold on a little longer, things can still improve.', 'DONT listen to that voice. Please. You made a mistake, it happens. And you didnt give those names voluntarily, your boss pressured you into it. You can learn from this experience to do better in the future.This job is not your life. Never, ever, invest so much emotional attachment to something or someone. You may feel badly for a while, but nothing is EVER worth killing yourself over. Worst comes to worst, you will find a new job. Its not the end of the world. What matters is that you pick yourself up and keep going. Just learn from the past and things will eventually be ok.I hope you feel better soon. ', 'I can see that you posted this almost hours 24 ago, and I hope that you havent taken that final step yet, but here goes.You are in the States, right? Despite everything our country is going through, this is still the land of opportunity. *You dont have to live under your fathers thumb*. He cant control you forever. Sure, maybe you can work for him for a bit, but theres absolutely no reason you cant search for another job on your own time, even if you have to sneak out of the house to do it. Then, with a little luck, you can stand on your own two feet and escape your situation.But your family still has no right to control you Hyperactive behavior this. You are your own person, you can make your own decisions. What do you have to live for? The chance that, with a little time, you can regain everything you lost. And because you learned from the mistakes you made the first time around, you wont lose your possessions again. I hope youre still around to read this. Just remember that someone out there has a little faith in you, even if you dont have it in yourself.', 'If everything you said is accurate, then you did nothing wrong. People who are Depressed mood tend to lash out at others in anger. Thats what hes doing. He needs serious help and you shouldnt shoulder the responsibility by yourself. This may sound terrible, but perhaps its best that you distance yourself from him. Hes twisting your words and making you out to be the enemy. Do you really want someone so manipulative as your "friend"? You seem Hyperactive behavior a sweet person and Im sure many others would gladly accept you and treat you with more respect. And hang in there! This is only a temporary problem. Youll be alright in the end. I just know it.', 'That is bullshit. Its not that hard to say "Im sorry to hear that, hope things start to go better", even if its insincere. And I really hope things do improve for you soon, though. Nothing lasts forever in this world, even the bad stuff. ', 'Im sorry youre feeling this way. You were born into a tough situation under bad circumstances, so its understandable that youre considering Suicide as a way out. Heres what I think you should do, and you can tell me to fuck off or shut up if you Hyperactive behavior, but a few simple changes may make a world of difference in your life.* Try dieting and exercising. I KNOW that on top of everything else youre dealing with (your mother, your situation, your Mental Depression) thats probably the last thing on your mind, but looking good may help you FEEL good. * Its not as hard as you might think. Try eating no/less bread, eating more fruits and vegetables, and walking for an hour every day. Cutting calories and engaging in long, slow exercises is a good way to lose mass in general, whether its muscle or fat. * Cut out the rough porn. Dont let yourself become desensitized to it. * Stop confessing things to your mother. If shes going to belittle you while youre going through a rough time, shes not worth it. * And about your mothers... admittedly, shes in a bad pl

Ideation

user-4

['Hi NEM3030. What sorts of things do you enjoy doing?', 'Personally, I always welcome music suggestions with open arms. Nothing like losing yourself in music, escaping for even just a few moments.', 'I am only a bit older than you, and oh, its maybe not useful, or comforting, but you have my support. Rarely is a day where I dont suffer from thoughts of self-harm... I hope your days get steadily better. I really do. Best of luck to you.Edit: Hobbies. That really keeps me going. I hope improving a skill will make things brighter for you too. ', 'I too, am a lady, and I agree with Ray_adverb12s advice 100%. I feel the exact same as you, only I am a female. :(', 'My little brother possibly killed himself and let me tell you, its been months and I havent gone a day without sobbing and considering suicide and feeling like my ribs were splitting apart. Please /u/Holy_Panda, dont end your life, or your brother may Tired well end his. He will never, ever get over it. Grief will color his world grey for the rest of his life. ', 'You are such a brave person for going through all this... Stay strong. <3']

Ideation

user-256

['So presumably no-one else can see them at all. Oh well. Fuck this too.', 'If I had a gun Id be dead already.A good shotgun or high-caliber handgun would do the job, and Id do it without hesitation. Well, I might clean the house first. Unfortunately I live in a country where guns just arent available, and I wouldnt have Clue One how to go about getting one illicitly, and its basically gotta be that because its quick and relatively certain and the only thing worse than continuing would be continuing after a botched job.I have good days, and bad days, but even on the good days it would be with the utmost relief that Id blow the back of my skull out. I just dont want to do this anymore. I dont want to be me anymore. I can barely function anymore. Im so fucking tired.I could go and see a doctor, and maybe get some magic pills, I suppose, but it would just be easier to say "fuck you" to the entire thing, make a stand and reject it all. Killing myself would be far, far easier than facing, let alone actually dealing with, any of the bullshit. This is what I rationally want, after years of consideration.I dont think Im going anywhere, though. Ive been Hyperactive behavior this continually for many months, or even a year or something, and intermittently for most of my life. Lacking an ideal means of rectifying things Im unlikely to settle for other means, for fear of fucking it up and ending up worse-off than I am. Ive begun taking steps which could end in the acquisition of a shotgun, but Im not sure yet how it will pan out; its far from being something Im willing to count on.So Im not sure why Im even saying this. Being suicidal has become just another part of who I am. But Ive seen this subreddit for a while now and have often thought about saying something. Theres no help to be had, so theres not much point, but I am drunk and feeling rather good so I just thought Id spray-paint my thoughts (a poor surrogate for brains) on the wall and see what happens; maybe Ill get some interesting feedback.']

Behavior

user-448

['DO NOT.why does your brother want to kill himself?']

Supportive

user-100

['I know the feeling, and things dont get better with time, they just deteriorate. At least you had a girlfriend. No women has ever wanted me for more than money or help with things. Im not even treated like a human being because of my ugly face. Im a virgin, 30, and at this point there is not much hope left. Over the past year I developed severe ED too, which I never had problems with in my 20s. I missed the boat on ever having a intimate relationship, and there isnt much hope for one in the future. ', 'Im 30 and feel the same way. I think most suicides are irrational and do fit the description of "a Injury of muscle fix to a temporary problem" This is ESPECIALLY true in younger people. But in some cases I think suicide can be a rational decision. I have spent a LOT of time in introspection and I have come to the conclusion suicide is the best way out in my case. Im just too high inhibition to go through with it. And so Im stuck in a perpetual case of limbo. In my case, I have never experienced love or intimacy, and Im 30. Im a virgin and not by choice. More than that I have only grown more and more isolated as I got older. I want to belong, I wanted to have a "normal" life, but the cards were stacked against me from the start, and at this point I am beyond hope of ever having one. Thats not the only reason though, thats just the tip of the iceberg... I know Im depressed, have been for most of my life, but in my case its endogenous Depression, only the external causes of my Depression are not temporary. There is Tired little hope for them to chance. ']

Ideation

user-226

['That sure sounds simple in concept. Thanks for sharing that with me, though--its a big help and it makes *complete* sense, but Id genuinely never thought of it that way, or at least not consciously. On an unrelated note, I just glanced at the first page of your post history and saw... Nethack. High five. Youre officially awesome. ("I still have to ascend a character in Nethack" seems like as good a reason as any to keep waking up every day.)', 'Mines a Valk named Jalyssa. Ive gotten smooth at hitting the mid-game with Valks, but I do something boneheaded right around Medusa every time. ...* grin * I cant thank you enough--you made me smile for the first time in a couple of days.', 'I hope it gets better, too. This is helping get me off the ledge, anyway. ', 'Thanks for... listening. And for the hug. I needed that, pretty badly. Ive been trying to reach my client all day with no success. Shes not a flake; its not a problem. Under any other circumstances itd be no big deal at all, its just part of working freelance. Its just such an immediate crisis situation I really dont know what to do. And theres so much more going on... I dont even know where to begin repairing anything anymore. I feel so hopeless and lost and Ive felt so alone in the world for so long... its nice to be listened to and comforted and advised, even by a stranger on the Internet. Thank you.', 'The shelters in town have a 2 Asthenia waiting list--Ill be financially solvent again by then anyway. Not something I didnt consider, though. Thanks for the advice and the luck--and the reassurance. That helps a lot. Ive taken a kind of intolerable amount of crap over the last few years, and I really need some time to get my head together again.', 'I thought about /r/assistance, but... I dont know. I think Im feeling too bad about myself to ask for (material) help, if that makes any sense? I dont... dunno, cant figure that part out right now. My family of origin was similar, and Ive walked away from mine, too. Its kind of horrible that Im drawn to people with similar qualities so often--have you run into that? I keep thinking Ive worked that out, but I keep finding myself in the same position--the thought process is usually something like, "Well, I cant believe I fell for THAT shit again." Sigh.', 'Ive been doing the same for the past few years, yeah. Its encouraging that youve managed to find a way to break through that--I keep thinking Im choosing better people, but Im still making a lot of mistakes and my Good Person Radar is horked. ']

Ideation

user-429

['I smoked a lot of it, either to fall Somnolence faster or distract myself, then I got bored and now its kinda Hyperactive behavior I dont care about it.', 'Give us something else drowndead, at least let us know what do you have to say, please!', 'aaw, I guess you really love them based on what you said.Think of all the thing you will share in the next years, about seeing them grow up, learn, become more independent all the time, take some time to consider all the joy they will bring into your life and all the joy you will give them. Besides what you said about leaving the three of them alone, think about what **you** would loose by not being there to see them develop.', 'Its great, thanks !', 'Yeah, I think the easiest thing is to answer to the submitters you relate to, but IMHO just reading and saying you are there is helping a little bit.Just try your best 4thFloyd, Im very far from being an expert, but have been browsing SW for a while and just recently got confident enough to start responding. Dont push yourself too much, I often have to stop reading and start browsing something else.My responses may be far from being the best, but I try to compensate by answering quick, because it can get a bit slow here.', 'PM me whenever you want, it might take me a couple of hours to get back to you, but I really want to talk.', 'It seems none of the mods read this yet. I do know none of them is going to Hyperactive behavior this idea for many reasons.This sort of thing has been proposed many times.As much as we would want it happening, the reality is that we are not prepared to always having someone available to answer, and specially, theres no way we could manage this well - say, prevent trolling and spam, abusive messages, etc, all of which are much more common than youd think.Also, few of the people here are really trained to handle these situations, specially if were talking about live chat.For starters, you should read this:http://www.reddit.com/r/SWResources/comments/dmu24/why_shouldnt_i_share_my_contact_information/---**Edit:** If any of the other mods reads this, please Attention Deficit Disorder what you want, this comment is just to let people know why theyre not having SWs support on this.', 'Calm down. Youve done all you can do for now. Just try to get in touch with her, or with some member of her family/friend who lives close.She might have been speaking literally when she said she was going to visit you.Couldnt she have meant his dads grave ?', 'Please dont do it. Of all the problems people have, being bad at socializing is probably one of the easiest to make right (its my main problem as well).Get on a plan to be more Phobia, Social. Things will be better once you do it. Just as with Mental Depression, one thing follows the next: the more you do to be more Phobia, Social, the easier it gets and the better it feels. Dont sit around and hope that people approach you. Be proactive, enjoy your progress, you will enjoy people if you do, and you will start to Hyperactive behavior yourself in the way.', 'Thanks for that, this is a great idea !', 'Would you mind telling us what happened in 2008 ?Why do you believe every person is evil ?', '> Hyperactive behavior theres something broken down inside of my that cannot be repaired.... Hyperactive behavior this is it, things arent going to get better.... i want to believe that you can help but i just dont see howIm glad you mentioned that. All we (at least me) can do for you is tell you what we know: The mindset you are in makes you think you are alone in a room, and the only thing you can do there is take your life, it makes you see walls that arent there and it might even create much more complex delusions. You just have to learn to ignore them when you are at the bottom, and they will slowly fade away. Life is much more wonderful than you can imagine now. You can do many things that right now seem impossible. The future is probably way brighter than it feels now. Its your **mindset** which keeps you from seeing it, it doesnt have to be your brain.Its just a phase you will get over if you stay with us. I know how hard it is, but you just have to focus on solving things one by one, step by step and before you know it everything will be great.', 'Hopefully we will. Its hard to understand, but well, we all have our problems, just some have it worse than others.', 'I really liked that. Good contribution.', 'You wont make anyone feel worse, I think everyone here is aware of the fact that the rest of us are Depressed mood/troubled as well.Reddit is the best drug in my short stash.', 'Dont feel bad about talking; Im here because I enjoy doing it.I dont think you cut *just because* and if you want to tell me what else is wrong, Im listening.Also are you in some sort of therapy ?', 'Yeah.I usually blame bullying and being ignored by people outside my family, but theres no excuse. I started to think some of us are born Hyperactive behavior this or that random stuff, thoughts and situations in our lives have molded us Hyperactive behavior this without any real problem, just a combination of things that turned out to form a Depressed mood person.', 'Hey! Garden slugs are people too!', 'Awesome! Ill PM you this week, cant really talk now ;)', '>Seems Hyperactive behavior theyd be better off without the burden.As real as that feels now, its far from true.Once you start to get ahold of yourself you will begin to see it. If they helped you, they probably care about you. Anything you ask them will be much less bad than taking you life.Even if they live with their parents, if you dont live with your girlfriend you should ask them, or have a night out of them, or ask someone to stay at your house. Dont spend a lot of time alone if you think you can snap and do it again.Believe me, wait until you get better and not only you will be a much better/stronger person, but you will also realize how ridiculous it is to attempt a Suicide.', 'Stop.I know all of the advice I gave you in previous threads seemed worthless, but just start **changing things** and see how it goes. You do have *some* free time right ? start doing something new, something you hadnt ever considered before. Thatll give your life some meaning. Throw a party at your house inviting people from work, just do it. Dont think about it, do it.To get something you never had, you have to do something you have never done before. Thats just an idea, think for some time a couple of your own, brainstorm, and avoid looking for excuses not to execute them.Why the fuck not ? One of them might turn out to be freaking great and youll never have the chance to know if you dont try.You can PM me for anything, I just want to be helpful. ', 'I relate a lot to your post.Cant tell anyone, and I made thousands of excuses for not doing it. Now that someone opened herself in that sense to me (shes probably worse than me) a couple of months ago I feel Hyperactive behavior shit because I didnt get myself to tell her. That window is probably closed, I dont think she wants to see me anymore partly because Im an idiot and partly because she doesnt think I understand her. But I really do.We still have to go on. There will be a chance to open yourself to someone, and I might have another opportunity, but keeping the mask for the moment and trying to mature enough to take the chance the next time.Im feeling exactly the same though Suicide isnt worth it. No one even imagines the awful time Im going through.PM me please.', 'Thank you very much for posting this. I would Hyperactive behavior to know about your progress anyway, please post something or even PM me once in a while if you dont mind.Thanks and keep your head up.', 'I concur :PIm a bit short of time lately but will get on it if you need anything, please dont hesitate to ask.A collection of good comments would be great, at least something for people to read when things get slow here and few answers are posted.Nice advocaaaaaaate!', 'I will quote you on that. Friggin awesome bro', 'Im glad I did, just report back later ok?', 'Change something.If you are not comfortable as you are now, start doing small changes on your life and enjoy your progress. It shouldnt be a Ache in the ass to change your life style, but more Hyperactive behavior something you are proud of. You just need some [motivation](getmotivated.reddit.com) to [exercise](loseit.reddit.com).I would love it if you send me a PM to talk a bit more or even more so, tell me what are you planning to do to improve yourself.Cheers!', 'I PMd you, could you read it ?', 'You shouldnt give the presents and all that so much importance. What do those Irritable Mood ?I dont give many presents and Im sure there are lots of other people who do the same thing as well. I really dont see the point of all the spending.If someone doesnt give you a present that doesnt Irritable Mood that person doesnt Hyperactive behavior you/care about you.', 'Dont take drugs while being in the wrong mindset, youll never have a good time, and any decision you take will hardly be in agreement with your sober you.You should tell us more anyway, what are the things that bother you ?', 'I know that there are lots of people in this world who wont give a shit about anyone, but that doesnt Irritable Mood you are not good enough for it. The circumstances we are in can make us feel worthless, insignificant, but that often isnt right. Is there any way for you to get another job ? Things can get tough, people can be Irritable Mood, but never value yourself in relation to that. It seems to me that you are doing your best, but nobody is nice enough to notice it.Keep doing your best, and try to get a new job. Even with no job, there are tons of alternatives that are better than Suicide (almost any alternative is better than that)', 'I really Hyperactive behavior this song of the day initiative. Thanks.', 'Try to just go along and take it easy. You are not obligated to do anything really, IMO getting at least a part time job will help with your Anxiety Mental Depression in the long run and you might meet interesting people.Find someone to talk to, and know that SW will be here for you whenever you need it.Growing up isnt easy but it can be fun as well.Feel free to post whenever you want or just PM me if you dont want to but just need to rant.', 'That has been created over 6 months ago. The user doesnt have any more posts.Dead end or any cyberpolice superhero has an idea ?**edit**: [this](http://www.youtube.com/user/l0la58) is probably her youtube channel and the last acitvity has been 17 hours ago.Damn Im good. Yeah I guess Google helped a little bit.', 'But I **would Hyperactive behavior** to say something. I am pretty sure you havent known all life can be.', 'You can do anything you want with your life. Defying your boundaries (socially specially) is what makes you aware of how much you are really capable of. Make it a habit, to push your own limits bit by bit and enjoy the progress at the same time.I think thats a good way to confront the shyness and slowly make it go away.Find other things to do besides school and reddit, it could be a sport, a course, a part time job or even volunteering in something. IMO, those are the things that later in life will feel Hyperactive behavior they have defined me, and at the same time you will meet new people, get your mind on something else, and force yourself to attack your shyness.Im far from being somebody worth listening to, but thats pretty much what Ive planned for myself, think about it and maybe youll Hyperactive behavior it.Just **knowing** you have a plan and that you are working on improving yourself and trying to have a better life feels much better.Cheers! And Id love you to send me a PM to talk about anything at all!', 'Maybe theres no one right way, but depends a lot on yourself which is the best way to go about it. You obviously have a much greater insight into yourself than I could, but trying to break the limits seems a good, universal, motivator.Sorry if it didnt help, but maybe you should keep the idea in your head. I find that when something is stuck in my head and I think about it regularly, even if most of the times Im not in the mood of doing it sometimes I am and end up doing it. Just think that every attempt, even if it ends in failure, is progress somehow if you learn something from it, because most of the times you wont loose much.', 'My humble point of view is that, sadly, sending hurtful things through PM is more of a desire to do damage, than a Crying Reflex, Abnormal for help or attention.I dont really understand the reason though.', 'PM me and well talk please.', 'With my mask on, Hyperactive behavior the rest of the year. The time when everyone goes to Hypersomnia gets a bit hard because my whole family gets together and we are about 20 people sleeping in 2 houses, and that doesnt leave much privacy.I usually get bad moods from september-october until february of the next year, but the holidays distract and shake me up so much they even feel Hyperactive behavior a rest within all my mess. Planning what to do on the holidays can Sedated state me a bit also.', 'Have you tried something new lately ? A sport, hobby, just anything to do on your free time ?If you are Hyperactive behavior me, you are going to start making up excuses Hyperactive behavior I dont have the time/money/personality etc. Dont do that. Just brainstorm for ideas and pick the best one, then go ahead with it. Force yourself to put that in motion.', 'The worse I can say is, you are still going on, you dont Hyperactive behavior your job, the pricks in your life turned you down, and all of those things, but you are still working and didnt break down into an average Depressed mood person, which is admirable.Why did you drop out of college ?You sound smart, maybe changing jobs could be a good thing, working somewhere you could escalate positions.Is having a car completely necessary ? Youd be able to save a little more if you sold it.', 'You are being overly pessimist about it, thats my point, Mental Depression makes it hard to see the bright side of things, and even if you can see some of the positive things, you will most likely underrate them.I think that your interaction with this girl sent you into a bad chain of thoughts. The planet doesnt have feelings, you are not taking away other peoples food by eating, if the system is unbalanced it isnt your fall.Its hard when you give your very best for someone and that person doesnt appreciate it, but thats how it is and it is way too complex to answer what happened with "I dont have any value". Look around you, people are ungrateful, they just are. Many will never really appreciate what you do for them, but dont take it out on yourself.As nice as she might seem, theres always the possibility that she wouldnt appreciate the biggest help you could give, it has nothing to do with how you are.Besides, caring enough for other people to help them out is one of the most honorable things you can do, not only you deserve to live but you deserve to live happily.', 'Are you ok ? Please wake up your husband and make him get you to a hospital. You are in serious danger otherwise.', '> If i get away with it I will live on and be more happyDont be so sure about that. You know you are not "stable" (as I am not either) so we have to learn to have a clear mind or at least *act* Hyperactive behavior we do no matter what. If you did that, I guarantee nothing good will come out.We all get bad urges sometimes, but resisting them is what keeps us alive and many times makes us stronger in some sense.Please dont do anything you could regret. Your life, as well as everyone elses, has a lot of value. Even if you dont feel it at this moment, it will hit you at some point.Many of us know how that *numbness* is, the best thing to do seems to be just being nice even if you dont feel Hyperactive behavior it, if you dont do good at least dont load your conscience with bad things.Get help, do as much as you can to change your thinking for the better. Youll pull through, just keep on. Dont do it. Please stay with us. ', 'You did right by applying for a job. Look for more things to do that will force you to meet people, you will eventually find someone nice, good initiative and keep going!You are on the right path, just stop caring about what douchebags Hyperactive behavior that are getting, it wont do you any good and theres no point in envying others. Nobody is perfect, he probably wont appreciate what he has, even if he gets what he wants.Improve yourself, love yourself, love your life, and you will be a thousand times happier than that ass. I had people Hyperactive behavior him in my life too, its useless to get mad, that way hed be winning.The important thing is that you are probably better than him. I dont think either of you have real friends, but Im sure he never will. ', 'What about getting a simple job to keep you entertained for a bit while still getting the Disability ?Its always a sad outcome, dont even consider it.', 'Hopefully. The heat is so fucking Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder as well.', 'Hey, want to talk about it ?You are doing something for yourself, that takes courage. Going from Numbness to a hurricane of feelings is a huge shake, nobody enjoys that, but this bit of suffering will seem nothing compared with the joy youll get as the bad feelings fade away. Itll get easier. There are ups and downs so dont rush into thinking you are getting worse when the blues hit you, and the downs will feel long, but every time you are there remember you can only go up.Cheers :)', 'I think I can say Im on the way to that. My story is somewhat similar to friend_of_the_show66, and weighted 176lbs (59" too) 5 months ago. Im at 165 lbs now but much more built, by seriously doing a sport for the first time in my life, and enjoying it at the same time. Physically, Im not where I want to be yet, but feel Hyperactive behavior Im getting there. In other aspects, well, its all a journey you have to enjoy, some things will make you stronger, some will just fuck you, but all you need is the right motivation.tl;dr: I havent, totally, but feel Hyperactive behavior its possible and getting there slowly. The more you do to get better, the better youll feel. We always underrate the benefit we will get by doing things for ourselves, so little things can make a big difference actually. **Yes you can**', 'Wait a sec there.I am really interested in reading more about you.Please elaborate.', 'Exactly what I meant. Thanks.', 'Yeah Hyperactive behavior I didnt have stuff to do. Sometime later.', 'Like I said in your previous thread:>I think everyone gets some retribution for getting into SW, no matter what do they do in here.This is the nicest communities to which I have belonged.As for myself, Ive been pretty bad the last couple of months (just my time of the year), and even though I havent seriously considered Suicide in over 5 years, the Shock of actually thinking of leaving this world sticks with you for a long time.When I started browsing SW I felt so inspired I felt I really had to take part. Only a short time ago I acquired the experience and courage to actually post and try to help out (also feeling Depressed mood makes me empathize more with the people in here).Im far from being a good helper here, and I certainly dont believe I will change anyones life, but Im doing my best and this is one of the little things that make me proud of myself, even if done anonymously.tl;dr, feels a little less bad man.', 'Tell us a little bit more. Whats going on ?', 'I cant edit my comment for some reason. I wanted to tell you I just sent you a PM. Lets talk.', 'Its amazing how many of us are still hiding.You didnt waste our time. If we read your post is because we care and its fulfilling to try to help someone Hyperactive behavior you, because we feel you.Opening your thoughts isnt easy, but you should make it a goal of yours. Look for one of the people who love you and pick someone who has been through it. That person will be surprised, surely, but will completely understand you. That takes courage to do, but its a great thing to manage to get yourself to do it.That is the second step. The first was to post this.as writngrl said, having written to us is a great thing, you should consider this an achievement somehow.', 'Well, I dont think I know enough to give you an answer but that must always come hundreds of miles before you start planning on taking your life.And I dont think its "Fuck it, Ill go to the psych ward", itd actually be a positive thing if you reach that point. Your wife should understand that if you do it you are doing it mainly for their sake.', 'Dont feel bad about yourself for what you didnt have with her, its never that "one isnt enough for the other", its that you just werent compatible enough, and her leaving you doesnt Irritable Mood he us better than you.If you work on it, you will meet other girls. Maybe the first girl you see isnt as good for you as your ex, maybe the second isnt either, but you can get there and giving up is not the way to achieve results!Start living for yourself a little more, do things you used to do before, or try other things that interest you.Keep going, the struggle is worth it.PM if you want to. (probably wont be online tonight but Ill answer asap)', '>settling for what you can getMore Hyperactive behavior getting what you settle on.You want to make changes, then tell us a bit more about you lifestyle. Age for example.', 'Just dont.There are lots of things for which you should still be living. Just because you dont see them right now doesnt Irritable Mood you wont in a while.If you live alone, maybe it would be a good idea to hide the pills separately, otherwise give them to someone you trust.Feel free to PM and please report back.', 'Oh. Im not in the states either, South America actually. You are going to find a good way out of this. If you have any ideas, Id Hyperactive behavior to hear them. Bringem on!So where are you ?', 'Thanks, Im glad I could help, your post got me pretty motivated to write something so I just did.This sort of comments are the best things I got from reddit (and the internet)Ill PM you soon=)', 'Sup?', 'Ugh. Telling the parents? I do think they care, but some people just dont know how to handle this sort of situation. I could be wrong here, but in my case talking to my parents could cause a wide range of reactions (many mixed emotions probably).Do talk to them if you want, but be ready and know that in the desesperation and helplesness, they can react somewhat weirdly.', 'Feeling Hyperactive behavior you are running with your head in a bag right ?Well, some of us can trip and fall, but many will start an uphill race I guess.There is no point in worrying yet!', 'I read it.Try to sit back and see your situation from another angle, there are lots of things going through your brain, which is still developing. Its not nearly as bad when you see it from a different mindset. Dont do things you would regret afterwards. I have bad mood swings and although I cant really tell how am I doing at the time, it helps to maintain your life while working on the things that bother you.', 'Hes right.btw, nothing to your name ? Though Im young, I have no material belongings either, not even the computer Im writing from nor the bed where I sleep. And its pretty easy for me to see the bright side of that one, imagine the worries and responsibilities, think about most people in the US, they have lots of things to their names but couldnt pay their debts by selling that stuff.The sun always comes out again ("*Siempre que llovio par\xc3\xb3*", *"Every time it rained, it stopped"*). I love that phrase, and it couldnt be more accurate.The world is Abnormal behavior but good things happen every second, but we have to move forward in order to take advantage of those opportunities.Farewell brother!edit, formatting, etc', 'Why are you considering Suicide ?At least post your story, nobody here will comment about methods.', 'Chill, its going to be ok. Cuts are supposed to Chest Pain right ? It wouldnt be normal if they didnt. You will be alright. ', 'How old are you ?I stopped going on vacations with my family two years ago because of that. Besides not having fun and almost getting the point to hating them, I lack the Phobia, Social abilities to meet anyone on a trip, that didnt even cross my mind, so I ended up spending most of the time alone to avoid fighting.Just hang on there.', 'It seems you are being successful in getting yourself together, dont throw it all away for momentary times of weakness.Know that feelings often are based on nothing wrong about ourselves or our lives, learn to ignore those that are irrational (Hyperactive behavior now).Keep on living, Im sure you had a lot of good times the past year, think that youll get more and more of those if you continue with your progress. You have proven you are strong, now enjoy what youve achieved !', 'Waiting for it to get better isnt the shortest path. You have to pick yourself up and do something about your situation while you wait. Tell us a bit more, thats a way to start.Please, if you dont do it for yourself do it for us.', 'That video is awesome. Great contribution. Thank you!', 'Sorry if I sounded a bit harsh. In fact, its great to see people trying to get more involved. Thanks for that, but from what we know from proffessionals (Im not one myself but some of the mods are). The main issue here is giving evil people to contact other people in need with no way for contributors to know about it. IMHO the fact that most of us are not proffessionals isnt so important, but making others believe someone will be there 24/7 is, and a considerable one.I would love to hear more ideas about some way to improve this" service" SW provides, but sticking always to what very experienced users recommended, you have my full support and help. Thans.', 'Why? what happened ?', '>Millions of people are born and die every day, my death is not important.That is just not right. Lots of people are born and die every day, but thats not important. The important part is that your world (as your friends and familys) is composed of very few people. Think about how many births and deaths have happened close yo you or the people who you care about. Those are the important ones for you and them. The rest dont matter.Just take a break, I know you want the thoughts to stop crumbling your mind, but if you really care about them the least you can do is give yourself to think about it some more time. Try to get some Hypersomnia.Christmas isnt nearly as important for them as you are, Im sure, it doesnt matter what time of the year you choose, it will feel Hyperactive behavior an unbearable Ache to them.', 'Nobody could have noticed about me at that time, and I was *very* good at hiding it, for better or for worse.Though I probably wouldnt be able to tell when someone is **there** or just having a bad time right at that moment or something Hyperactive behavior that.That is awesome!', 'Whats going on now ?Has something changed ?', 'Its ok, I just PMd you.', 'Wait! Whats going on ? What sort of improvement did you expect ? ', 'Just perfect. Your rock.IAmAaron, you should seriously consider something Hyperactive behavior this. Give yourself another chance. Suicide is always an option, living again isnt.', '> Also drug use isnt really harming yourself, now if he was taking pills and alcohol to possibly kill himself then yea.It **does** harm, and many times it is an expression of self hate, even if it seems to be just to have a good time.', '>because neither of you can help the other out of their respective emotional lows right now.Sadly, I never lost the hope to support her, to save her without exposing myself, and that idea is so attractive to me I cant leave it behind. I know people might be fucked up in ways that are not reachable by me, but I want to know that at least I did my best for her. I dont think Ill attempt Suicide if she does, but thatd be by far the toughest shit of my life.I plan on keeping the few friends with whom I can be myself and let the rest drift apart (that sums up to one, maybe two right now but fuck the rest) Nice post man, thanks', 'Just click on my username, and in that page therell be a link on the right that says "send DKSchrutte a PM" or something Hyperactive behavior that with a little envelope next to it. You can check the responses by clicking on the envelope on top of the page at any time while browsing reddit (that shows you both PMs and message responses. itll look red if there are responses you didnt read yet)We can talk here though, I dont mind.I repeat, Im pretty sure I know where you are now, but it will go away in some time, theres no need to take drastic measures. You want to redeem yourself by doing this, to show those people that you care and that you are sorry, and you feel Hyperactive behavior thats the best way to prove it. There are hundreds, thousands of other ways to try to get those people back, and even moving on is far, far better than attempting.As SQLwitch said, harming yourself will make your mistake even worse. It doesnt make sense from any logical point of view. No one will benefit from it. Theres only more Ache through that door.If you are unsettled by this whole thing, you care; and if you care, you can do things to redeem yourself.Im sure you are a nice person. We need more of you.', 'Feel ya.I feel Im on top of th world at times, and then Hyperactive behavior the most insignificant piece of shit there is. The cycles usually start slow, but then it gets to the point where I have 3 or 4 Violent mood swings in a day. Circumstances almost never help. When it gets to that point, I end up being so Confusion I dont even feel anything at all, Im sort of Hyperactive behavior a psychopath. Trying as hard as I can to think rationally gets me through with little damage to my relationships, but Ive been pretending for so many years it sucks.Back in 40 mins, have to go. PM me or sth', 'I wasnt really familiar with that, sorry. How about looking for something abroad or in another state ? Keep your hopes up.', 'Hey! slow down!responses can take a while here, sadly, much more than 20 minutes some times.Its been only five days. You have to wait for it to get better with time, and it will eventually. Continue with your daily life, talk to people as often as possible, you might even meet someone better !SW is here and so am I, you can PM or post at any time, about anything you want to talk about. I am feeling pretty lonely so a bit of talk wouldnt Chest Pain me (to say the least). Seriously, just keep on moving and you can contact me at any time.Keep your head up!', 'Any more background please ?', 'It is upsetting, but the part that makes me feel more upset is that they seem to be doing this through PM, not comments.The more reports/messages we get, the faster well be able to handle things Hyperactive behavior this. Mods cant check all comments before anyone sees them either, so report any suspicious/negative thing you see and well make a decision asap.Thanks.', 'There must be *something* you can say about yourself ?You Hyperactive behavior anime dont you ? You must be in your 20s I guess. You do have stuff to tell, theres no need to be specific just let me know what is it that you dont Hyperactive behavior about your life -or yourself- before even planning to do something Hyperactive behavior that.You have nothing to loose by talking to us, but you might earn a desire to live. Notice I didnt say "life" but "desire to live", it IS possible.', 'Whats bothering you ?', '>I want someone to hold me while I Hypersomnia.We all do, and the chance of finding that someone depends on how much you do for reaching that goal that could help you get better.', 'Hey, none of us has answers for everything (much less me), we just provide opinions.If you dont feel Hyperactive behavior talking about it with him, **make the reason clear**, really speak your mind because just avoiding the topic might be taken in a negative way by him. If you honestly tell him its too much for you, hell totally understand I think.Im guessing hes probably under heavy medication, keep that in mind if anything he says or does seems a bit odd.Also people around him are in a stressful situation, their attitudes may seem strange and say things they dont really Irritable Mood. (regarding your grandparents)A couple more updates wouldnt be bad, youre taking it Hyperactive behavior a champ

Supportive

user-213

['Thank you. In real life, I volunteer at a crisis hotline, so I talk to Tired Depression people on the phone and try to help them find ways to cope.South Africa! Though Im from the USA, my best friend visited South Africa to study the marine life there. She said it was a beautiful country. She scuba-dived with great white sharks and even went skydiving! If I were to visit, I would want to see the elephants.', 'They might be intimidated by you, its Tired possible. Also, you may not be approaching them in the right places or with the right attitude. Ill give you the resources I know that have helped other people like you.* [Dr. Nerdlove](http://www.doctornerdlove.com) Its full of advice. * [How to make a good first impression](http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2014/07/make-right-first-impression/) * [When NOT to approach women](http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2014/06/5-times-shouldnt-approach-women/) * [Starting from zero](http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2014/01/starting-from-zero/) * And lots more. Guides to "cold approaching," skincare, fashion choices, even [How to get better at dating quickly](http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2013/09/get-better-at-dating-quickly/)* /r/malefashionadvice, /r/fitness, /r/skincareaddiction (I dont know if you really need this, but here there are just in case.)* even /r/amiugly is useful. If you want an honest appraisal of your looks, post a few pics of yourself to this sub. The people there are generally positive even in their honest criticism. (Ex. "You really dont look attractive right now, but if you styled your hair better/lost weight/cleared up your skin/dressed better youd look so much better.") So, find out whether you are actually as hideous as you feel. Whats to lose?* A word of my own advice: Do you have female friends? If not, try to make some friends--seriously--before you even think about sex. Its hard to relate to women if you arent friends with any.* Also, hobbies? You are a more interesting and attractive person if you have interesting hobbies to talk about.* If you get impatient, a call girl might be a good choice for you. It may be worth the money to lose your "virgin" status--even if no one knows that but you. It could boost your confidence. You might realize that sex isnt worth all the hype after all. Dont get me wrong, sex is a wonderful thing, but you might be playing it up in your head as something its not.', 'Do you and your host have Dissociative Identity Disorder?', 'Honestly, it sounds as though you may have depression. Id *highly* recommend talking to a mental health counselor. I know that you think that a counselor wouldnt be any help, but whats to lose? It couldnt do any harm, and they might really be able to help you. Thats what theyre there for.', 'Hmm, a diagnosis from a doctor might Tired well Pain your chances. Im not certain that just seeing a therapist once would go on any "records," so to speak. Im really not sure; you may want to find a reliable source for that kind of information.Anything else you want to talk about or vent about?', 'You have severe depression. Are you on any medication? If not, please do so, get prescriptions from your doctor. Theres a good chance that medication can help you feel better.Also, you say that your family cared a lot about you a few months ago, but now they dont, as if theyve forgotten. You need to *talk to them.* Seriously. Maybe your mom, since shes the most understanding. You are still sick, you need their support, and they need to understand that. Humans are social. We need to talk to people about our feelings and problems. Its not "weak" to do so, its healthy.', 'What are your thoughts on talking to her about this subject? Also, would you consider asking your male friends? (Understandable if you havent; its an embarrassing topic.)', 'You say that youre self-destructing. Whats been going on? What kind of experiences have you had to lead you to want to take your own life?', 'Thats what shrinks are there for, though. To help people like you. Also, you might really benefit from seeing a therapist or counselor, not just a psychiatrist. Most cities have low-cost services available for people without a lot of money. They charge based on a sliding scale depending on your income.If you live in the U.S., you can call 2-1-1 and get information regarding low cost counseling or psychiatric care.', '*Internet hug* You sound like one of the thoughtful, considerate people that I would want to be friends with.You say you live in a developing country. May I ask which country you live in? Just out of curiosity.', 'All right, it seems like thats not Tired helpful to you.Is there anything else you want to talk about? Just as an example, how have your sleeping and eating habits been like lately? Same as usual? Have they gotten worse recently?', 'Hey, Im really happy to hear youre still with us. We care about you.Again, if you want to chat online to someone anonymously, [theres a chat with trained counselors] (http://www.crisischat.org/). In my area, the hours are from 4-10 pm, M-F. Theres also 24 hour crisis hotlines you can call, depending on where you live. You dont want to regret your decision, only to realize its too late.', 'You *are* a girl, and dont let anyone tell you otherwise. Its just that your parts dont match up yet, but they can and they will. Its definitely not too late for hormones to work. Let yourself live long enough to become the person you know you are.', 'It must have been so sad to endure all this trouble in the last year, especially your illnesses and your girlfriend leaving you. I understand that youre feeling hopeless. Do you think that if you had a guitar again you would feel better? Maybe you could express your feelings through your music and cope with everything better.', 'Hi deadconscience. Please correct if Im wrong in the way I read your post.You had a Tired Pain childhood when your father abandoned your family. You were angry at him, and sad that he left. Fast forward to the present: Youre now feeling guilty because of the things youve done, including binge drinking, lying and possibly other things that could be harmful. Youve been doing this repeatedly, which you are ashamed of. And this shame has just built up, especially since you dont want to negatively affect your daughter. You want to be a good dad, but youre Anxiety because you think you havent been doing a good job. Also, you think that it is too difficult to change your behavior, and that thought overwhelms you.Is there anything thats happened in the last few days or weeks to cause you to make this post? Something that has reduced your level of coping?You can call me E, by the way.', 'Well, if you change your mind about the guitar, feel free to PM me.Would you like to tell me more about your Emotional upset place and why you think that it cannot be resolved?', 'Ive sent him a PM. But if you think hes in danger, you should probably contact a suicide hotline or maybe even the police.', '/u/baleful_of_hay. You are such a kind, humble human being, and youve struggled through so much this year. Your soul speaks to me in a way that I cant describe. Please, I dont want you to die yet. The world would lose a good person.', 'Theres a lot to live for. What do you do for fun? What about food you think is delicious? Or people you love/enjoy being around? Movies you havent watched? Inventions that havent been invented yet?', 'Yes, I took piano lessons for 8 years, though I dont frequently play nowadays. My father is an incredible player, though, and he often entertains our family with his piano playing.Anyway, it sounds as though you are set in your decision to end your life. Loss, struggle, despair, hopelessness. Sometimes being human is too much to bear. You have this strangers empathy, my friend.Im wondering...now that you have nothing to lose, are there any experiences youd like to have before your time is up? For some reason, [this post](http://www.reddit.com/r/casualiama/comments/2lbqym/traveled_to_mexico_to_buy_chemicals_to_humanely/) came to my head. Obviously, this is extreme, but personally, if I had a short time left, Id try some hardcore drugs, or Id hitchhike to some awesome place and watch the sunset, or Id read a novel that Ive always wanted to read, or Id have a threesome. Is there anything youd like to do?', 'I understand why its embarrassing. Hell, Id be embarrassed too if I were in your situation. Dating and sex can be frustrating and scary, especially if youre not socially confident.So, what are your thoughts on some of the resources I mentioned? Dr. nerd love, /r/amiugly, or maybe booking a call girl to get your first time over with?Also, are you contemplating suicide? (This is a suicide help sub, after all.) Have there been any other stressors in your life that could push you over the edge? (e.g., classwork, financial burdens, career problems, family issues)?', 'So youre feeling angry at society because it dictates that men have to do all the work to get dates. Youre Exhaustion by this process, and even following the formula has failed to give you what society has conditioned you to expect in return: sex. Youre also angry and frustrated because its relatively easy for women to find casual sex, but its not the same for men. Im also guessing that you are angry at society for labeling male virgins as "losers" and things of that nature.', 'In all seriousness, is it possible that you could PM me your address and Ill send you a guitar?', 'It sounds like you have depression, though, right? You said you cant concentrate and you dont find any pleasure in doing things, anymore. You might not be physically ill, but your brain is sick. You *can* get help. Theres nothing to lose at this point.', 'Counselors, I think, try to help you help yourself, if that makes sense. Theyre there to listen to you. They are the trusted confidant that you dont have in real life. They can help you work through the options and regain control of your life. Want to unload your feelings without being judged? Thats the place to go. Sometimes, just talking about your life helps you understand what you need to do. Counselors may make suggestions, but they cant fix your problems for you.Theres another subreddit that has a lot of advice about sex, and thats /r/seduction. Im hesitant to support that sub, because it can get Tired objectifying of women and borderline creepy, but it does seem to give men some success at "seducing" women.', 'Once again, thanks for your generous words. It is Tired late, like you said, so Ill be going to bed now. I hope we can resume our conversation tomorrow.', 'Can I know a little more about your situation before I try to give advice? For example, are you of a healthy weight? Do you keep yourself in good condition, looking clean and non-threatening? Do you dress in a way that complements you?Edit: Also, if you havent heard of it, [Dr. Nerdlove](http://www.doctornerdlove.com) is a website with some great advice for men. You can go through the basics of making good impressions, and theres lots of guides on dating, women, sex, and love.', '> Lots of short men do well with women. My brother, for instance, is 53" and does well with women.', 'It sounds like youre overwhelmed with all these negative things in your life. Youre not enjoying your classes, youre frustrated because you perceive the other students as having more fun than you, and youre understandably Anxiety about the student debt that you have no idea if it will be useful in the long run. On top of that, you feel unappreciated by your father and alienated from the rest of your family. And of course you crave friendship, but you dont feel close enough to your friends to confide in them.Have you considered calling a free crisis hotline in your area or seeing a low cost counselor to help you sort through your life?', 'Sounds like youre understandably angry at women for not giving you the attention you need. And youre constantly overwhelmed with the feeling of being unattractive and inadequate. Has anything happened to you recently to cause you to make this post?', 'If you want to chat online with someone, [heres a link to a site where you can chat anonymously with a trained counselor.](http://www.crisischat.org) Theyll listen to anything you say if you want a friendly ear. In my area, the hours its available are from 4 pm-10 pm.', 'I volunteer at a crisis helpline and have talked to many Suicidal people. Please believe me that we *want* you to call and talk to us. We will not judge you, and theres no way that youre wasting our time because were there for people exactly like you.Theyll probably begin by asking, "Whats going on with you today?" Such a simple question, yet it often helps people launch into their problems.If you feel as though you cant physically talk, there are also online chat counselors at CrisisChat.org.', 'Please talk to someone. [Heres a link to a site where you can chat anonymously with a trained counselor who will listen to you.](http://www.crisischat.org)', 'Whats been going on with you?', 'That sounds frustrating, man. You try to engage them, they act disinterested, and then they dont want to meet up later, even though you ask. It must be difficult to work up the courage to talk to them in the first place, too.']

Ideation

user-171

['Ironically social work. I never really had fun with his friends, he was just emotionally stable but really really really lazy. Our friends were mostly people from his program in university, so I never really had too much to talk to them about. I feel so guilty that I dont feel sad that hes gone. I just feel so lonely all the time now. ', 'Still got another two years to go haha. ', 'Yeah I think we can do it, we totally got this! But it is *hard* to be normal. I spend so much time and energy trying to make it appear that my life is groovy and drama free that everything I do these days feels like a lie. How does temporary academic leave work? Thanks so much for the reply.']

Indicator

user-98

['Extreme Depression and loneliness. I do it to cope. And to distract myself from this worthless excuse for a life', 'Yeah, Ive used everything from wiring to circuitry (long story) to exacto knife blades, and I carry one with me most of the time', 'Thanks for sharing, thats Tired different than what happened to me', 'This really quite describes me Tired well indeed, most days, I have no qualms with death, but dont seek it out', 'Even if they arent old enough to know you, growing up without a father is one of the hardest things to do. Children need support, not economic support, but love and compassion. Sure your wife can supply some, but you can supply more loving kindness than you probably think. They will grow under one parent, but thrive under two. even a stepfather, no matter how caring, is not as good as your actual father. Biological parents tend to be more loving. Your children need you. Your wife needs you. ', 'For me, what works is I wear Tired thin long sleeved shirts. They are usually as thin or thinner than your average t shirt. Also, if my small knowledge of science is correct, white reflects light/heat better than black. So if that is true (not 100% positive), then try to go for lighter colors on clothing. Best of luck to you! ', 'Thank you so much <3', 'In my experience, it has been mostly the first, giving up on themselves. My father fatally shot himself back in 2012, and he left a note that explained his reasoning, and waht sttod out to me is this: "I have lost any sense of compassion towards myself. I have lost all of my will to live. This has been replaced by a frequent urge to die..." and a further section that included various physical issues such as partilal blindness and nerve damage which I wwould rather not continue to write about. I too fell under the first set, I gave up on myself, and I decided that I was too bad a person for anyone to tolerate. I decided that I was a terrible person and deserved death for the way I mistreated others. I am sure in some cases people have given up on the world, though this is just my experiences.Source:Father/friends are/were Suicidal, am Suicidal myself', 'Thanks <3', 'Thanks all! You guys rock', 'I sharpen and reuse, or hide them. Cant risk them being found in the trash', 'Adding to this, sorry not in an edit, Im on my phone, will transition this to an edit later, but I have hidden this lie from so many people, my boyfriend, my friends, my family, my counselors, my teachers, etc. I dont know how to come clean of all this. Im sorry to sound desperate, but I am.', 'Remember this, whatever happens. We all care, we all want you to be happy and safe. No matter how you look, act, or who you are friends with or how much money you have, we all, here at reddit, care for you. Maybe not the best way to put it, but its certainly true. <3', 'Better than nothing. Thank you :)', 'Something similar happens to me. I cut to relieve stress, sometimes relieves Depression as well. If I am super Stress and depressed, I have to cut, its my only way out. So similar yet different I guess :/', 'Thank you <3 small comments like these make a huge difference', 'Typing on my phone, will expand this later. I think the same as you,I believe nobody out there cares for new and would be better off without me, but think about the way this would affect your children and your family. When my father committed suicide (I was 12 at the time) it made my life an endless pit of sorrow that still affects me several years later. It impacted my grades, my social life, and plunged me into a bout of Suicidal attempts and depression, both of which last to this day. Nobody would wish this on their children. Your wife would be devastated, she would have so many loose ends to tie up, so much Pain to go through. You seem like a great person, and I know you wouldnt wish such Pain on her or your children. If you cant find any reason to live, then live for them. They are better off with a great father and husband like you than no father at all. Hang in there. We all care for you, your family and reddit.']

Behavior

user-292

['A lot of stuff has happened. Im not even entirely sure of what the facts are, since both sides are determined to spin things their way. Also Im not really in the right frame of mind to verify all of this, and my recollection of the exact order of events might be a bit hazy. I should point out, Im biased towards the gamer side.The gist is that Zoe Quinn allegedly cheated on her boyfriend with several people, including a games journalist called Nathan Grayson. After her boyfriends post, a few youtubers (including a man calling himself Internet Aristocrat) picked up on the story and started raising questions about cronyism in the games industry.Some people investigated and found that several journalists were donating to Quinns Patreon account. Further rumours were uncovered about other people that Quinn had allegedly slept with, including people that had reported on Quinns games or judged her games in competitions.At this point, gamers started demanding answers, but many games journalists simply responded by calling gamers misogynists alledging that they only cared about Zoes relationships, because she is a woman.At some point, Joss Whedon sent a supportive message to Zoe. Curiously, the actor Adam Baldwin (who appeared in Firefly) also decided to weigh in (possibly in response to Whedons tweet). He tweeted a link to Internet Aristocrats video and started the hashtag #gamergate. Gamers started retweeting the hashtag, demanding answers.Now heres where it gets weird. A day after the hashtag was created, almost every game journalism site released an article with the message "the gamer identity is dead", all within a very short timeframe (about 2 hours). People started to speculate that the sites were colluding, and that was why their articles were all so similar. Each article accused gamers of being deeply misogynistic white men. As you might suspect this angered a lot of gamers, and was the event that really kicked off gamergate.The twitter battle has carried on since then. Gamers across a number of websites including 4chans /v/, reddit and tumblr, united to try and obtain answers. At some point, someone had the idea of trying to cut the journos funding, and so they started sending mass emails to the advertisers, persuading them not to support people that were trying to kill gamers.The entire thing essentially turned into a PR war, /v/ began policing themselves quite heavily, so as not to give the other side ammunition. Meanwhile the journalists kept up the Youre only doing this because youre racist misogynists angle.In response the gamers created the hashtag #NotYourShield. The idea was that female and minority gamers could stand up and refute the idea that all gamers were white men. Telling Kotaku et al. that they couldnt use gender and race as a shield to hide their misdeeds behind. This turned out to be quite an effective blow for the gamers, at least in the short term, it seemed to disarm a lot of the journalists arguments, but many of them still stuck to the misogynist line. I think now theyre claiming that the minorities on #NotYourShield are being controlled by white people on 4chan... somehow.At this point, the gaming websites have started to cave. Theyre trying to negotiate with the gamers, calling for peace, but it likely wont work. The article they published was somewhat insulting. It didnt really admit any wrongdoing.Now heres where it gets kind of conspiratorial. Throughout all of this, 4chan has been doing some digging, its difficult to know what info to trust, but they assert that a P.R. company called Silverstring Media has a lot of connections to gaming sites, and to game devs. Furthermore, Silverstring admit on their website to trying to push a marxist agenda. They have (or had) a lot of stuff on their website about trying to directly change gaming culture. Furthermore, theyre funded by a marxist thinktank called DiGra. Silverstring has links to both Zoe Quinn and Anita Sarkeesian (the creator of feminist frequency). Its speculated that theyre behind all of this.Some people on the gamer side have compared the journos to a cult, in the way that they keep pushing dogma but wont listen to reason. Also, theres a lot of people in the gaming industry who seem afraid to speak up. It seems that going against Silverstrings wishes isnt a good idea for any Indie game dev or games journalist.Keep in mind that theres a political element to this. A lot of figures representing the gamers are fairly right wing, including Adam Baldwin. Although the gamers themselves are, of course, all over the place politically.The journalists seem to be hiding behind a very Ventricular Dysfunction, Left-wing stance (which is unsurprising given the silverstring connection). Theyre essentially Social Justice Warriors.Thats quite a lot of info and I still havent included everything.Zoe apparently tried to sabotage a feminist charity that was helping women get into gaming, called The Fine Young Capitalists. 4Chan has been donating to them and submitting [character designs](http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/vivian-james) in order to make themselves seem more Ophthalmia, Sympathetic to women and feminists.The 2nd-wave feminist/anti-feminist Christina Hoff Sommers also got involved (on the gamers side). Oh and [this guy](https://twitter.com/IronBackhand/) turned up. Youd think he was just some random person looking for attention, but apparently hes some 80-year old, pro debater that spends most of his time on capcom-forums arguing about street fighter... or something. If youre really interested, his tweets give an interesting overview of the situation.None of this makes any sense. Its all just insane. Im not the first person to compare this to something written by Hideo Kojima. Im quite tired, so I apologise for any spelling/grammatical errors. And sorry for the length.I dont *think* Ill get shadowbanned, but some of this stuff has been quite heavily censored on reddit.None of this has any direct relevance to me, Ive been following it closely, but I havent intervened. The whole situation just upsets me. >My (rudimentary and probably incorrect) understanding of gamergate is that gamers have lost trust in the journalists.tldr: yes.', 'Ive been Depressed mood for a long time, and suicidal too. Im basically useless. Years ago, I dropped out of university following a Suicide attempt. Since then, Ive lived with my parents for the last half-decade. I have no job. Ive been to doctors for the sake of my mental health, but no treatment has ever helped me.Im extremely socially isolated, with severe Phobia, Social anxiety. I tried to combat it, and made some progress in the short-term, but eventually I failed and ended up backsliding. These days, I rarely leave the house. I have had no friends for a long time. I have never been in a relationship, nor do I ever expect to enter one.Recently I decided that I would try to be slightly less useless. I decided that I would learn C++, develop a game, single-handedly, and then try to sell it online.I knew it would take years, with just me working on my own, and I wasnt expecting it to be easy. But since sitting around wasnt going to help, I bought a few books on the subject, downloaded a compiler, and taught myself how to program.It took me a while to learn, but eventually I was making progress, figuring stuff out. Despite my lack of energy, things were starting to go well, I had programmed something that was almost beginning to look Hyperactive behavior the bare bones of a game.Then gamergate happened, and I just cant deal with it. For the past few weeks, Ive just been watching the only hope I had Ventricular Dysfunction, Left crumble in front of my eyes. The extent of the alleged corruption, the behaviour of the journalists and devs involved, it all sickens me. The worst thing is, I cant even distract myself by playing videogames because they remind me of whats going on.I cant develop any more. I just cant find the focus or the energy to do it.Its so stupid, but I think thisll be the thing that finally pushes me over the edge.Im going to wait until gamergate is over, just so I can see how it all ends. After that, Im going to kill myself. Ive had enough.', '>are there any other places you could see yourself applying your C++ skills?Maybe, I dont really know. I havent looked into it.Im sorry, but I dont see the point. I already feel Hyperactive behavior Ive spent too long enduring things. I dont want to keep on going.>And do you think you may have become competent enough in C++ to qualify for a programming job somewhere?I think Ive picked up enough knowledge to pass an interview, but I suspect itd be difficult to demonstrate competency without having contributed to any actual projects.', 'Theyll likely become less popular, as the trust has been damaged.The real problem that I face, is that many developers calling themselves indie, werent really independant at all.', 'You disagree, but without knowing my circumstances. Do you have any particular reason to believe that those statements are false? Do you believe that they are always false, under any circumstances?', 'Ive been thinking about it. I might carry on making it. At the very least Ill see how gamergate goes before I commit to killing myself. Then Ill have a chance to... evaluate things.', 'I have no idea at this point.The gaming media seems to ignore anyone that doesnt try to get into Silverstrings clique. Lots of devs seem to be afraid of getting blacklisted. If Silverstring are still around at that point, I could face some soft censorship. Persuaded to portray a certain political agenda, or risk having my reputation tarnished. ...Especially if they connect these posts to my real identity.They wouldnt actually be able to prevent me from selling a game, but theyd be able to make it difficult.If the gamers win, then Silverstring will hopefully be exposed and go away. Hopefully.Alternatively, Youtubers have been cutting into journalists profits quite heavily, or so Ive heard. So in a few years the old gaming media might die, and Silverstring might become irrelevant. Or so I hope.But Im quite disillusioned with the whole thing now. I just dont want to involve myself with it any more. I just want to die.Normal corruption almost feels *honest*, compared to this pushing an ideology stuff.', 'That sounds about right.Although AAA stuff has mostly been ignored.']

Attempt

user-215

['Right now? Travelling?', 'Im glad it helped. To think I was so close scares me, but every day Im getting better and better. Im EXHAUSTED but its worth it!', 'Better idea. Keep riding your bike and dont stop.Theres a scene in Gattaca where two brothers swim out to sea, and one brother is significantly stronger than the other, and every time they do this, he wins.The idea is to swim as far out as you can before you get scared and swim back.When the Asthenia brother wins, the stronger asks how.He said that he didnt think about the swim back.If you end up killing yourself anyway, it makes no difference, but at least try just driving for miles where you havent been.Maybe youll find something youve been missing.', 'http://i.imgur.com/4k2RY.jpg', 'That helped a lot, and Im on Amazon now buying Hitchhikers. I think that will help because moments when Im not doing anything, I tend to dwell. A book in general should help.Im Tired open with my girlfriend, she knows what Ive been going through, and Ive been pushing myself to go out. I think Im scared of being stuck like this forever, being disconnected. I want to get better.I kinda know that the way to overcome this is to not think about it, not to dwell, and sometimes I feel alright, and then I start thinking "Hey! Im alright!" and then I ask myself what Im doing to make myself better and then, tits, Im dwelling again.Its a bit bollocks to be honest.However, people have pointed out that I have complained about the spaced feeling whenever Im in a Tired stressful situation, like when I had a job interview at Time Out, and actually when I was in therapy, come to think of it.But thankyou, this did really help, and Ill take your advice. I want to get better, and Im going to really fight to do it. I break down into tears sometimes, and often I think its all pointless, but you know, Im going to keep going.', '"listen (thats a big one - so many people have things to say, but not enough people stay long enough to hear them)".Fucking. Exactly.', 'I know how hard it can feel, Ive just come out of a Suicidal spell myself maybe a Asthenia ago.There is no Sharp Pain fix but to force yourself to see the good in the world.No-one can help you if you wont help yourself, and I know that you didnt get a fair deal to start, and certainly no-one will blame you for wanting to end it, but we cant change the past.The world is full of love, I promise. I was lucky, I had a network of people to support me, friends and family. I kicked the weed and drink, and Im well on the road to recovery.You need a big change, and I swear on everything, if you let it in and take steps to change your world, you will see that life is pointless in the end, but the ride can be fucking wonderful.I wanted to end the suffering myself, but now Im out I just want to take everyones hand who are there and drag them out.I dont know you, but I love you. The Pain has made me so much fucking stronger, and if you get through this, find love, make a family of your own, I know youll be invincible, and getting through this and being a success despite the ashes you came from will make you proud.You have every reason to, and I cant blame you, but I want you to know, you cant see it yet, but its worth it, I swear, I really, really do.', 'Those are all really good points, thankyou, I really think theyll help.', 'That really helped, thank you. What do you mean by non-dwelling, non-intrusive? Could you give me an example?', 'Is this the one where Stans mum and dad split up? Could be worth a watch again, thanks.', 'The UK, Kent, specifically.', 'Ive always wondered this myself, if when it gets too much, what if I just sold everything, and just started walking?When I wanted to stop, I could look for a job, or even stop when I found one in a quiet village, or even another country.Id start a new life, and experience everything.You dont have to kill yourself to end your life, friend.Just start walking.']

Ideation

user-61

['Hey man, You cant be convinced and I cannot change your mind. Okay. I am going to tell you not to do this for a completely different reason than you would think. I mean, consider it. If you die it is nothing to me, right? You are just words on a screen (not really - but I hope you understand how I mean this). Really I have no vested interest in your survival. However, I am interested in saving you from Pain. I dont like Pain. Never been much of a fan. Theres too much Pain in the world already to inflict it on ourselves physically. Effexor is NOT the drug you want to OD on. Trust me. I am no doctor or scientist but I have read the literature on how it works and have had some firsthand experience. The first thing you need to understand when making this decision is that you *may* end up in a hospital. You *may* end up in a great deal of Pain while you lie helpless in a hospital bed waiting to die, but you *may* not even know what is happening other than an experience of complete terror and regret. The second thing, is even if somebody catches you in time and you survive you may have lasting damage. Meaning you will *still* feel this way but even worse because of the damage youve inflicted on your body. That is not even considering the embarrassment and other Emotional upset shit you will have to face from the reactions of those close to you / treating you. It wouldnt be intentional, but people are people and someone nearly dying is pretty scary. If you havent thought this far ahead about it or considered what would happen if you failed you are not ready to make a decision like this. That is it. Oh, also it will likely be an extremely uncomfortable thing even if you "succeed." Just give it a bit more thought dude, this isnt the way you want to go out or the decision you want to look back on and hate yourself even more for. ', 'Hey guys. I just want to thank you all for the support. I will probably message a couple of you who offered. If I dont message you then know that I am grateful for the thought and the reply. Thank you. ', 'I agree. Were this service available I would take advantage of it immediately. I am a mostly logical person with a sound state of mind. It is incredibly frustrating that I am going to have to kill myself in a potentially Pain way if I do not want to do something illegal in the meantime to obtain the proper substances (fuck getting caught and ending up in jail though, stuff of nightmares). Ive been dealing with it for long enough and it has not changed, why dont I have the option to check out easily? I would be willing to take tests or do whatever in order to prove my "sanity" / rational state of mind. ', 'Hey brother. Youre not a sad little bitch. Youre an alcoholic. Which means these mood swings are normal. It comes with the territory. A former-engineering student that plays guitar. Hmm. I bet you would be pretty cool to hang out with / interesting to talk to. Just thinking out loud. I understand what youre going through, and while I obviously dont know your circumstances I get the feelings though. I am not exactly qualified to give advice and no songs are popping into my mind at the moment. But I want to let you know that you are (most likely) a worthwhile person. Just extrapolating from what youve said and how you write. Its in my best interest to keep people like you around on this rock, eh? Sorry to hear about the family friend, and good luck dude. Focus on the guitar. Getting into the *flow* is just as good as any drug. ', 'I doubt it. Explain? Or dont. Heres something though, food for thought. Nearly everybody you come into contact with is going to be more forgiving and kinder to you than you are to yourself. If youre at this point doing this to you, man youre about the shittiest person in the world to you. Also, you wouldnt be doing the world any favours. The world doesnt care. Youd only be doing yourself a favour. This is not meant in either a positive or negative way, I just want to point it out. ', 'Fuck outta here. ', 'Yet surviving is a way to prove them wrong and laugh in their face. Because you are doing well while they are still miserable people. It can work both ways I think. Most who have harmed you wont think that they have and would not think about your death for much longer than it took for them to hear about it (if they ever did). ', 'Hey man, My sister is married to a vet that does the exact same thing. Yeah, it surely freaked her out at first. But from what I understand he warned her it might happen. They have been living happily together for 4 years now. I mean, I dont really have any advice other than just be upfront about it with potential partners. But it certainly is possible to have "quirks" like this and still be loved and respected as a "normal" person. My brother-in-law is living proof. Good luck with this one, but if she doesnt work out... there are plenty more that might. Youre not broken my friend. ', 'Yes, that is pretty close. It is spot-on that the "Suicidal" aspect is just a side effect, and not overly concerning. As in, I am not overly concerned whether I live or die and death often seems the much superior option. I am not saying that I couldnt or wouldnt commit suicide. Because I would. At the drop of a hat if it were guaranteed and easy. Thus far it has not been worth the risk. However, were life to change suddenly and become much more difficult... The risk may be worth it. I am in a relatively stable environment and secure in food/shelter. Yet I feel like this now. Were those circumstances to change, I just dont know man. Really, I am mainly alive through apathy. I could live, I could die, but there is risk in trying death and my basic needs are currently met. So yes, I am certainly Suicidal but it is only a symptom of a larger thing. ']

Attempt

user-47

['The present also makes me sad. I feel like Im working for a future that will never get better. ', 'Its so hard not to. All of my college friends are married. The friends Ive made since then are also dropping like flies. They, for the most part, have jobs that even if they arent happy with are at least paying the bills.But youre right. I know this. I know things will get better. I just want the Pain to subside and the images of me ending it to stop going through my head.', 'Not entirely true. While I do struggle with Suicidal thoughts, my urge to throw myself off a bridge is purely out of curiosity to see what would happen, even though Im pretty sure it would kill me.', 'Hi. My name is Evan. I like board games, cartoons, dancing, telling jokes, conversations, and beer. I encourage you to talk to me anytime. Boom. Now you have a friend :)', 'Because for years Ive been unable to support myself. Strings of bad decisions leave me having to impose on people, and I end up overstaying my welcome', 'I dont even know. I am a performer at heart but I have never been able to make a living at it. When I try to "sell out" I always get bored and end up getting fired. Recently I had success as a bartender but I quit for what ended up being stupid reasons, so now I live on the other side of the country from where I was successful and I have to start from scratch again.I started looking for a head doctor, and the prices gave me a panic attack. Then I started looking for insurance so I could afford a head doctor and the premiums also gave me a panic attack.', 'That is one way to put it. Im also Illness of being a burden on everyone. ', 'I dont think Im bad. I just feel like other people have something I dont when it comes to being able to make it in this world. Im almost 30 and am struggling with things that seem to come so easily to everyone of my peers', 'I was posting this as a "I know how to get through it, you can talk to me" kind of thing. Im doing fine, thank you for your concern :P', 'Ah, yes, I misunderstood your intentions. Absolutely.', 'Listen to the arrogant worms happy happy birthday song. I sing this to my friends on their birthdays. It is a little morbid, so if you arent a fan of gallows humor, give it a pass.Or, if you like, I could sing it to you personally.']

Ideation

user-32

['Yes that is true, but our parents are the only people who will honestly be there for us and love us no matter what. Maybe tell them youve been struggling and that you need a little help and just come clean? It might even help you more than you think... Sure they will be mad but that will blow over. Never doubt yourself in anything... You sound like a Tired intelligent individual and I bet you could do wonders in school. This is just a learning lesson and youll go back with a vengeance! Goodluck to you! I am here if you ever need to talk. Goodnight :)', 'Maybe you think about it because it does provide relief thinking that all your problems could be solved and go away with just one action... Doesnt mean you truly want to do it. Just seems like a Sharp Pain and easy end to the Pain.', 'My coping mechanism was watching my friend commit suicide and what it did to all of our/her friends and mostly her family.. You dont think much of any of this while youre battling Depression but it affects the people in your life that you thought didnt care more than you would ever imagine. Which is what has gotten me to try and fight this disease before it gets worse. Although most times it feels like Im fighting a losing battle.', 'Is there a specific reason why you couldnt pass the other classes which led to the probation/suspension? If you would like to talk we can do it here or PM.', 'Why do you feel like youre a disappointment to everyone around you? Im sure everyone here has felt this type of way but its not worth your own life.', 'Ahh, I had that exact problem. I am a horrible writer or at least that is what I tell myself. I am not creative nor interested in the subject so it is also one I struggle with. What Ive learned however is that you just have to tell yourself to suck it up and write something. As soon as you turn in that first paper it gets easier and easier throughout time. Who cares if you get a low grade... You will learn from it and improve for the next paper. Is english your only problem? I was on academic probation and then suspension and I just decided to cover it up by saying I needed a break from school to figure out what I truly wanted in life. I have been on a "break" for about a year now and it honestly did me good. Maybe this is what you need and will put things into perspective for you. If anything it is an excuse you can use with your parents and say you would just like to work for a little bit until you figure out what it is what you want to do with your life.', 'Someone I knew committed suicide and it led me to feel the same way... Why couldnt i work the courage up to just do it too? I still dont know til this day and Im trying to figure it out. Maybe theres a reason... who knows. Sometimes it just feels like youre not cut out for this life but theres nothing you can do about it. ', 'What is making you think of suicide or feel like life is working at a tough job?', 'I always struggled with english as well until I finally found a professor that changed that. How have your english professors been? Also, what is distracting you? What exactly is it that you struggle with when writing?']

Ideation

user-267

['Ive played Wow a lot and other games Hyperactive behavior kerbal. I dont play them that much anymore and I havent played the more realistic first person shooters. Mainly it just passes the time.I listen to twitch in order just to hear talking, plus the guy is playing Mario games and such. He talks and responds and I can even comment in the chat. It is the closest Ive had to a friend in years.', 'I wish that good things would happen. I Irritable Mood it isnt Hyperactive behavior I have real problems Hyperactive behavior many on hear who have been raped or beaten. I just dont seem to be able to be human. I see normal people even Depressed mood people hold jobs, friends, relationships. I looked up old classmates and they are all getting married and many have careers. Looking back and seeing the last 26 years get worse Im not sure that the next 10 are going to get better. Im just so alone and a failure, the mere thought of living 60 years makes me want to kill myself faster.', 'That is why I said unless they have a real effective solution. If I tell my therapist they will likely say the usual "just hang in there." Im Nausea in Exhaustion of waiting. Im Nausea and Exhaustion of improvements that are always on there way and never materialize. Ive been told that life gets better for so long. Well it is time for it to finally happen.I posted in the desperate hope that there is something that I missed, something to make a a decent human, but there appears to be not. Thanks for your time on me.', 'Sorry for being so argumentative. Another one of my numerous flaws.', 'I have cats and while they are nice it is not Hyperactive behavior I can hold a conversation with them. They are the ones that have to hear me talk to myself.', 'Oh sure I know why it happens it just sucks as a poster when it does especially you need more than a couple hour pick me up. Then again it is selfish of me to ask or expect more. Ill just hug a pillow again tonight. Sometimes when my iPad gets warm during use, I just lay and hug it.', 'Unless they have a real effective solution, I dont want them to stop me. ', '> and am probably much more of a loser than you could ever be. HAHA want to bet. :)I really do suck. The fact that I dont have fiends or never having a date is a sign of who I am. So at this point in time Im Hyperactive behavior permanently fucked up and even if I slightly improve and start really trying to make friends people will wonder what is so wrong with me to be so alone and behind. High schoolers are better than me, there is noway I can compete with actual adults. They will simply find someone better, which compared to me is really easy.', 'The thing is though that I dont want him to stop me. At least here Im able to see the reasoning beforehand and I decide to live in misery or not. If I tell my therapist then I have to live in misery. And telling people Im suicidal has always backfired. Now they mention that they Anxiety about me and will give me looks when I say certain things.What good would a contract do? Once my therapist realizes how suicidal I am Ill be locked up for days on end, permanently marked on records that will show up to government employees. Pills havent worked outside of these "hospitals" why would they work inside one?I dont want to live in misery anymore and telling my therapist will continue to insure that. That is why I came here looking for something, anything, that has at least a chance of turning my life around over the next 6 months to a year. If not, Im done living in misery and Im going to end it. One way or another I am going to improve.', 'They know that I am suicidal I am just not telling them about the Suicide for next month. What good would it do to tell them? I just downplay the severity. I dont even know how many meds Ive tried, and my appointments are typically 6 weeks a part. Though he is currently booked for close to three months. Pills never have really worked for me but Im glad to hear that they are working for you. I wasnt a good worker at my first job until it closed. At my second job for a family friend I became ill. My stomach would get upset and my eye would twitch. I just was always so nervous. If you want to talk Im open. ', 'Sadly in the end I think that is all that this place can offer. The worst is how after about 6-12 hours at most people stop writing or commentating. Within hours you are forgotten. That is just the way life is for people Hyperactive behavior us.', 'Classic rock, Metallica, Disturbed, orchestra. Im not too picky.', 'Oh it certainly is my fault, it is no one elses. There are three outcomes; it continues to get worse, it somehow miraculously gets better, or I kill myself and end the suffering. It is that third choice that looks the good. It is far better than choice one and more likely than choice two. Yes Ill die a fat, ugly, friendless, virgin. But who cares, Ill be dead.I wish for the best for you as well.', 'They know about my Mental Depression just not the severity. Too much of a risk to tell them how serious I am. So yes I lie to them. They know Im suicidal why tell them how serious I am and have a plan and the tools to do it. What good would that do?', 'Thanks for writing. I just feel Hyperactive behavior Im just getting to Exhaustion to keep trying. Im Exhaustion all the time. And the story you told involves a lot of maybes. I wish I had all that Hyperactive behavior 10 years ago. When I weigh all the things I have to do to be even to people I just dont see me reaching it. Death will provide me with the relief I so desperately crave.', 'No it is cool, thank you for writing. Not to be rude but while all those things are normal for teenagers for someone my age it is embarrassing. Im suppose to be way more developed than this and it is expected of me. The number of people who havent even been on one date this far in life must be in the fractions of a percent. It also says something about me. People move forward in life and I just fall further and further behind. I see the list I have to do to just start to become an equal and I just cannot seem to find the energy or courage. Killing myself will bring me the relief that I so desperately crave and need.I dont know your situation but the one piece of advice I have is to not be Hyperactive behavior me.', 'To put simply, Im just a failure. I fail to make friends, I fail at starting and likely keeping relationships, I failed at work, I failed at school, I failed at learning how to drive. Im a mouth breather, I cannot write well, no artistic ability of any sort, and Im grossly obese.I cant compete with normal adults. Even among the Depressed mood and Anxiety Im the lowest of the low. I looked up my classmates and they are getting married and starting careers.What is my accomplishment, I ate yogurt? Every day I fall more and more behind and the odds of things improve diminish day by day. I just fail to function as a human and Im correcting the problem the only way that seems to be available.', 'Im taking an MAOI right now. I have not been given any benzos. Even without the physical symptoms I still would have the mental.', 'Atheist. But Im not part of any atheist group or anything.', 'Im not sure there is anything that can be done. Im just desperately looking to see if there is. I feel Hyperactive behavior maybe therapy and pills work for some but they were never designed to work for someone Hyperactive behavior me. People here have value. Many of them have jobs are/were in relationships and have friends. I dont even have what can be called acquaintances for Hyperactive behavior 7-8 years. Never dated though who can blame anyone for that. And Im just overall grossly incompetent.Im always going to be alone and bad, it just is who I am and always have been. I wished for Suicide since I was a little kid. Im just not made right and I just wish that somewhere there was hope for people Hyperactive behavior me, but there seems to be not.', 'I have my parents but other than that I have nobody. Zero. Not even acquaintances for close to ten years. I dont even know what people my age group do. I feel Hyperactive behavior an alien study a culture, I just watch other people hang out and have fun. Ive never been invited out ever. Even in Drug abuse school they just let me eat lunch with them, other than that they would meetup but not tell me. I talk to myself for hours and hours every day, I play videos or twitch just to create the allusion that there are other people. ', 'The issue with that is that it leaves me completely alone. The last time I had anything close to friends was in Drug abuse school. There are expectations in life and when you fail to meet them then people get worried and want little to do with you. Plus I lack the ability to connect to people as they live in a totally different world compared to me. It leaves me alone and the Sad mood has just eaten me alive.', 'I can write responses, but my grammar is pretty bad and I was more referring to writing Hyperactive behavior stories and stuff.I havent told my therapist because 1) Theyll lock me up 2) They wont really have any helpful advice.3) It will be held against me, where everything I said is made suspect.I answered elsewhere but Im going to hang myself.I really do need to focus on my diet but I just seem to have no energy and food is one of the good things I have. Plus I just cannot seem to care with me killing in a month anyways. I do already walk over a mile around 5 times a week.I took a programming class years ago but I never learned python.I Irritable Mood a real person in that I dont compare to my peers. I understand that they are going to show there positives online but their positives are by far better than me. They have pictures of parties and hanging out with friends. Marriages and hanging out with their SOs. And their careers.Who would want to be a friend to someone Hyperactive behavior me or god forbid start a relationship? I am so much lesser than other people. People want someone to be an equal with not someone 15 years behind. ', '>There is no reddit comment that can fix your life. I realize that there never really was much hope. Just a fools hope. But it is all I have to reach for. Everything else has failed. I cannot tell my therapist about me because of the power dynamic at play. There is a difference between saying Im suicidal and buying the rope and already picking out the beam to hang yourself by. Telling my parents has been a mistake telling them would likely backfire as well. There are two choices, I either get a solution to get significantly better over the next several months or I kill myself. They havent helped me so far, why should I expect anything different? They know Im suicidal I just lie about the severity.', 'What daily tasks?']

Behavior

user-327

['And thats why I stopped taking antidepressants.', 'Dont kill yourself its not worth it, your taking the easy way out. Whatever is bothering you fix it, get someone to talk to. When I was going through hell years ago I wanted to go commit Suicide... I called a Suicide hotline that day and the lady in the hotline told me that this will not only Chest Pain me but those around me. The thought of my sick-disabled mother hit my head and I decided not to continue my plan.That call saved my life, I met the love of my life, I have a great career and my mother is very proud of me graduating from college. It was a dream of her since I was a child... and I am her only child! Everyone is not perfect we all have problems here, cheer up ! :) XOXO http://imgur.com/3aLzP6i']

Behavior

user-200

['Brother killed himself in june. Dont tell me how much it will Pain my family. You have no idea.', 'http://imgur.com/bAhLiZPThing is, I have at least a day. Either way. Guns are for pussies. Going to bed with some oxy. Fuck it.']

Behavior

user-446

['I have Gastroparesis, or Hearing Loss, Partial paralysis of the stomach. And Ive never known how to talk to my parents about PTSD or suicide. Or anyone else for that matter. This is the most purely personal information Ive ever shared on the subject. If this was face-to-face, or if I knew you all, I dont think I could have brought it up.', 'Thank you. Im trying to get ahold of a doctors note and the relevant medical records, and my plan is basically just to camp out in the admin building until someone will at least answer my questions. The more they shuffle me from department to department, the more hopeless the whole thing seems. I just... I have a hard time seeing things clearly, I suppose. Objectively, you make so much sense about all of this, but I cant bring myself to believe Im not at fault. I promise Ill think long and hard about what you said, though, and at least try to bring things back into focus.', 'Stress and Anxiety Mental Depression cant be helping, but there are foods I cant process properly, namely those Drug abuse in fat, protein, and fiber, which squares up with Gastroparesis. A Polyposis, Gastric emptying test was used for the initial diagnosis. The question now seems to be why--theres often an underlying condition or other trigger. As for dealing with all of this stress, your suggestions certainly cant hurt, unlike most of my strategies for dealing with emotional pain. Ill give it a shot--at worst it might keep my mind occupied for a while.Im not trying to be down on my friend--hes very dear to me, and he saved my life as surely as if hed physically removed me from a burning building. But I really did resent him at the beginning. I cant imagine where he found the patience to deal with me. ']

Ideation

user-27

['Thanks for the effort, but you missed the point. I just wanted advice on how to push away any thought of offing myself that might be comforting. I dont need reassurance that I can make more friends when I move, thats not a problem. Its not that I feel isolated either. I enjoy the quality time I spend with myself, and I have plenty of great friends. "We are all alone at times ... get over it" isnt much help, its not even close to the problem.If you have >advice on how to dismiss these sort of thoughts I would greatly appreciate it. ']

Ideation

user-424

['I have tried, I really have. But every time I just get knocked down even harder. I dont see why I should perform actions that just end with me feeling more Chest Pain and Ache. Everyone is different and everyone has their own issues to due with. Just because other people are able to overcome their problems doesnt Irritable Mood I could ever overcome mine.', 'I dont think I can try anymore. The reason I am feeling this way is because I dared to dream. And although the alternative is to live alone in misery anyway, its better than to keep trying hard only to be put down. Either way the only outcome is Sad mood, and I need to learn to accept that. I need to enjoy the last few years of my life being alone.', 'How much time? There a limits to how much a person can endure before giving up.', 'I am glad you arent feeling suicidal anymore. I really am. I have tried getting help. Done the cognitive therapy. Taking the medication. Been told its all due to a chemical imbalance in my head. I used to feel hope and was really positive. I thought that the therapy was working. That the meds were working. That my actions were actually having an influence into how I shape my life. But I was wrong. So terribly wrong. I do take in positives. I still hang out with friends. Im working in a great department at work. However, I still cannot convince myself that life is worth living past the date I have set.', 'Experience tells me its not going to get better. Im more likely to live a long sad lonely life. There are still things that I need and want to get done before it all ends.', 'The urge does not pass. Ive already set the date. Im still going to be around unfortunately for another year. And it has ALREADY been a VERY long time.', 'There is a need if theres a chance that its going to be a lifetime of misery.', 'I wanted (maybe still do) to kill myself on my birthday too. I figured that I would be making my family sad, especially on the anniversaries of my death and also my birthday. I figured being sad 1 day a year is better than 2. I know it sounds a little crazy... Is that why you chose your birthday?', 'Ive tried before... Many times. I know what rejection feels Hyperactive behavior too well. It does not get easier. Plus, Depressed mood people arent suppose to look for relationships until they get better. I KNOW that Im never going to feel that life is ever worth living. Ive been through too much already. Everyone in that sub reddit seems to BE in a relationship. Those people will never know what Im feeling. They dont know what 28 years of Sad mood is combined with a very depressing Schizophrenia, Childhood and really bad bullying throughout their lives. Its not the sub reddit for me.', 'I have to disagree because the way I see it is Suicide prevents things from getting worse.', 'I do understand that life has its ups and downs. As you said, not unlike a roller coaster. Unfortunately Ive been through the downs and although its nowhere near as bad as it was before, I just cant stay on this ride. I genuinely dont want to experience what I have in the past. I dont want to keep living with that. And the thought of even making it to 30 makes me cringe. It makes me extremely sad and fearful. Its Hyperactive behavior a milestone I never ever want to be reminded of. Sure Ive had my ups, but my downs clearly outweigh them. 30 years of misery? And then what? Do my best and turn it all around? Realistically, its just not going to happen.', 'I might get the garden I deserve, but its not the one I need right now :)', 'The first couple of years at university were great. I had friends. I was no longer an outcast. In between periods I had people to hang with and talk to. Being accepted felt so good. However, that changed in the next two years... Most of my friends started to get into relationships. I noticed my uni friends being not around as much. Later on I found out that they attended gatherings and balls and events. Apparently they never told me about it, and the only reason I know is because they accidently let it slip. Being the only single one, I was Ventricular Dysfunction, Left out. I know they were probably not inviting me for my own good. Whats the point of being invited if Im the only single one? It would just create an awkward situation. I dont hate my friends for it. I just hate myself because I must be different. I tried to get into a relationship with a girl. For a whole year I was being really nice, and even helping her out greatly in her homework and assignments. I also took her home from uni too. After a long while I eventually summoned the courage to ask her out. Unfortunately she told me shed rather be friends. It Chest Pain a lot. I guess I had my hopes too high. I thought at the time maybe one day Ill ask her out again and shell say yes this time. So I continued to help her with her uni work and assignments and also to take her home from uni. All this time just hoping. On the day of my graduation, I asked her if she could tape a tv show for me. She said that she couldnt because she had a client meeting to go to for her university project. At the time she was using a forum which I designed for her so her group members and her can communicate. I knew the pitfalls of my forum, so I knew how to access it. I went into the forum so I could see if she was having trouble with her project, and if she was then I would be ready to help. I saw that she posted that she was skipping her group meeting to go home early so she could watch the same tv show which I asked her to tape. I felt really heartbroken. It wasnt just the lie, it was the fact that she could lie so casually. I called her up and casually asked her if she ever managed to tape the tv show, but she told the same lie, she couldnt because of her client meeting. I felt so Anger and Chest Pain and sad at the same time. It took me a long time to get over that.After graduating from university I couldnt find a job that I studied for. I had dropped out of computer science and instead focused on databases, information systems. I applied for start-up jobs Hyperactive behavior tech support but I was never successful. In the meantime my university acquaintances did very well. Even the ones who had cheated their way through university, some were not even smart at all, some were just stoners and did drugs all the time, even they received professional jobs. I still needed a job so I started work at a department store. It was only supposed to be temporary, but I worked there for 2 years. During the second year I worked there, I decided to take a course in graphic arts and design. I did the course at a technical school. It lasted a year. When I finished, I still couldnt find a job in that field. It was around that time that I started to get counselling for Mental Depression. I changed jobs to a full time job in a laboratory because my friend worked there. I worked hard and learnt about the different areas in my department. After a year of working there, the same bully from my past started work. I didnt talk to him much at first. After a few months I tried to make small talk. I asked him when did he become permanent at work. He told me he became permanent basically straight away. I made the mistake of asking how much he got paid. He just laughed and said, \xe2\x80\x9cmore than you.\xe2\x80\x9d This was the moment when I knew karma does not exist. Someone who treats another person very badly, never went into university, gets the same type of job as me, and also gets paid higher. The reason for this is because he was kind of acquainted with the boss beforehand. I believe that early in life, bullies get a level of respect from their peers. This allows them to develop Phobia, Social skills quicker which in turn allows them to make more friends and then develop a much larger network of contacts that would prove useful to them in life. I found out later that this same bully has a wife, child, house and nice car. I had some money saved for a car but didnt buy one because my parents were strictly against me getting a better car than the rust bucket I currently have.Anyways, soon afterwards I realised I was getting paid the LEAST in my shift. This is despite working much longer than some people and also trained in more areas. I told my boss but he said there was nothing he could do. He said I should call payroll to look into it. I called payroll but they told me to go to human resources. So I organised an appointment, and the HR officer did say my pay seemed to be a little low and organised a time to meet again. He wanted to meet a 6pm the next day. I asked him if he would still be in his office and he said that he was going to stay back for a bit. He didnt. A couple of days later I was given a small pay rise. My boss told me the reason why I couldnt get paid more was because the paperwork for my training went missing. I couldnt win. I had to accept or get nothing. The payrise I got was basically the same as what new people get once they become permanent. Soon after I was transferred into another shift. Then the bullying started again. I did see my psychologist about this. She convinced me that I should be kept on watch for my own safety. I was kept in a ward for a few days where I found some level of peace. I didnt want to trouble my parents so I played by the cards and was released after a couple of days.After a while I was transferred into another department. This department was just as bad. The bosses from this department refused to recognise any of the skill sets from the previous department, even though it was lower in the supply chain. Basically I had to relearn new methods just so my pay wouldnt be too low. It took a long time, not because the work was difficult, but because the bosses were letting newer people get trained before me. I know that they were intentionally doing this to make life hard on me. It worked. I became a dog. I recognised that I will always be treated Hyperactive behavior this. I stopped seeing my psychologist, and stopped taking the antidepressants. After a couple of years things I became Hyperactive behavior a dog. Doing what people wanted. My parents convinced me to buy a house using ALL my money as a deposit and borrowing the rest from them and a bit from the bank. My parents said I didnt have to pay them interest so it would be better for me. I wanted to use my own money for a car. Not a flashy car, but just a normal car that didnt break down twice a year.', 'How can I forgive a bully who made my life hell in the past? I tried to move on but was stupid to think that I could forgive. It was making friendly talk with my bully that gave him the opportunity to make fun of how he gets paid more than me. You cant forgive people who arent sorry and have it all.', 'Family and friends would feel grief and sadness. I cannot deny that. But I have weighed it to the amount of sadness and Ache that builds daily. People would call me selfish, but I *have* to be selfish. Life hasnt been fair to me, so why should I treat life fairly? I dont believe in destiny. And my self esteem is low enough that I feel that I dont have the right to date any girl even if thats what Ive always wanted in the past.', 'Ive been through enough. I dont have to put up with anymore setbacks. There isnt much that can make me change my mind. I am glad that you dont feel what I feel. Unfortunately not everyone is so fortunate.', 'Im not socially awkward, Im able to create and hold conversations just fine. I keep my negativity away from friends and family. I have to admit that I might not be experienced in going out with a girl. I know the connotations behind being invited to her place for coffee, but I really liked her and didnt want to kiss or get intimate on the first date. I dont know how to feel about these kinda things anymore', 'I dont find life worth living anymore. I have no interest in anything. A good career and relationship were the only things in life I needed. I needed to fix the thoughts of failure and Sad mood a long time ago. Now its too late.', 'I used to believe that. But now looking back at it, I was just delusional. Having hope is very dangerous for me. Ive learnt that the hard way.', 'Its even worse when theres many assholes who were once bullies in the past.', 'How did she stay positive? I never really had friends until late in my life. I have uni friends but dont hang out with them much. Recently Ive made friends and have been socialising but I think its too late... Im already too broken. Noone deserves a person Hyperactive behavior me.', 'That little negative voice also gives comfort by giving me a way out. Thats what Mental Depression does.', 'I feel hopeless for many reasons. I have already made a commitment to the date. Every negative feeling I feel, I always put it aside and think about the date. The more negativity that happens, the more meaning the date has to me. I dont want to type out my whole life story because there is just so much that I cant be bothered typing again and will feel Hyperactive behavior I am just regurgitating. I give you permission to look through my posts that I made in the past in the subreddit. [http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/xejnp/what_if_it_never_gets_better/](http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/xejnp/what_if_it_never_gets_better/)', 'I dont see why I should put effort into being positive for a *chance* to be happy when I could use the same energy to end my life and it would stop the misery and painful memories. I cannot see the world in the same light anymore. Being in a relationship with a girl USE to be the most important thing to me, but not anymore. I would be unable to maintain a relationship because I am no longer the same person as I once was. I would rather die knowing that the Ache and sadness can no longer build up.', 'Im sorry but I have already given up (quite some time ago). I have thought a lot about it, and I know that ending it stops any chance of a good life from happening. But I would still prefer it that way. No need to be sorry. Im not saying bad things happen to me all the time, but enough has happened that made me decide on this. ', 'Im pretty sure for me Im Depressed mood because my life sucks.', 'I hope that life gets better for you. My job at the moment is bearable, but I just dont feel Hyperactive behavior I would ever reach the stage where I can say that my life is going to be alright.', 'I do have a couple of hobbies. It does help pass time but its just not enough to make life worth living.', 'A combination of a breakup with an ex-gf, turning 30 in less than a week, and a feeling of Sad mood. Plus a dash of heat stroke.', 'I dont Irritable Mood to wallow in my past. Its just that my past has affected me so much that I truly have changed my outlook on life. It haunts me every day and night before I doze off. I honestly do not feel stronger because of my past. I feel that I am much weaker, broken and pathetic because of it. I know people would be upset when I go. Friends and family especially. Many people would say it would be a very selfish thing to do. But after what Ive been through and what I go through everyday, I can only see it as a price that needs to be paid. I feel Hyperactive behavior I deserve that at least. A chance at no longer feeling anymore Ache.', 'I am still able to feel happiness during the days. I just dont think its enough to overcome what Ive experienced in the past. If I had a time machine, then I guess I *could* be very happy. Happy people are people that are able to get on with life even after setbacks have occurred. They have the knowledge that they can overcome obstacles because their history tells them that they can work hard and life eventually gets better. An unhappy person wakes up and realises the insignificance of his actions. He knows that life probably could get better when he works at it but even if it does, its just all going to collapse again. With a history of major setbacks at key points in his life, he finally realises the truth; Its not worth going on.', 'Yes... especially when everyone kisses at the same time... -_-', 'I made a promise to myself. That I didnt have to feel Chest Pain or lonely anymore. It sounds clich\xc3\xa9 but its the only way out.', 'Im turning 28 at the end of the year. I can never see the future in a positive light again. Im not going to do anything yet. Ive already set the date. And I hate to say it but setbacks can and do follow me. Its enough to change me into the person I am today. Its enough to destroy any chance of hoping that life gets better eventually. [This is my earlier post a while back](http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/ozcr6/i_set_a_date_about_2_years_from_now_i_will_be_gone/)', 'I have did make an appointment with a counselling class specializing in living single, but it got cancelled because not enough people signed up for it.', 'Im sad to say that I agree. I dont believe that Im a socially awkward person and I keep a lot of my negativity to myself privately. The only think that is awkward is been the only single one in a group. At my friends wedding, my other friends were visiting the married couple in pairs. Out of all my friends, Im the only one who has to congratulate them alone. Its a lot of little stuff Hyperactive behavior that. I can understand why I wasnt invited to the wedding reception... out of our group, I would be the only single one at the table. I understand it, but it still hurts a lot.', 'I do see your point. I am living in a 1st world country so I shouldnt feel Depressed mood compared to people in a 3rd world country. There is no comparison because technically I dont have the right to complain about anything in my life. But I do feel Depressed mood everyday. I cannot help that. I would appreciate life more if I can just erase my memories, but I cant.', 'A happy person has hope and a belief that life is always going to be better... Through traumatic experiences, my perspective on life has changed forever. I am different now. I can never appreciate life. ', 'Ive always wanted to know what its really Hyperactive behavior to be in one.... Not just imagining it, but to really be in one. Not many people can understand what i feel because not many people are my age and have been single their whole lives. I know its never going to happen because I have too much negative thoughts in my head that will never go away. And people who are Depressed mood arent suppose to start relationships until they get better, and I know Ill never get better no matter how hard I try. Ive already set the date near the end of this year.', 'I hear this a lot... That it will come soon, that its just around the corner... Ive been hearing it for so long... Its all just a lie. Unless you can really look into the future, you cant know. I cant lie to myself anymore... If it hasnt happened ONCE in 28 years, the years when supposedly I should be at my prime, then its safe to assume its not going to happen at all. I dont want to live the rest of my life feeling lonely. I would rather not have any feelings at all and not exist.', 'My passion is NOT feeling Ache. Do NOT twist my words. I am not into BDSM. At this point in life, I want to physically look good. Maybe that is my passion now. Which is why Im exercising hard. I want to have a good body that will attract people. That is my reward. Pain is my punishment for being a naive Muscle Weakness idiot for so long. I want to look attractive by getting a fitter body. It may seem shallow, but that is how the world works. The world is shallow. Passion for just ONE hobby or interest is borderline obsessive. It restricts self growth. I Hyperactive behavior to read and learn about new things, see different things and eat all sorts of food. It is short sighted to say pick this and stick with it. I would not want to be with someone Hyperactive behavior that. Finding attractiveness for ONE passion in a person rather than seeing the person as a whole is in itself shallow. ', 'There is nothing that would make me content with living anymore. I could have a millions of dollars and you probably wont believe me but I would still want to die.', 'Most days mainly.', 'Its been about 6 years since I graduated. I dont have an ideal job anymore. I just work for the money. Im being underpaid for what I do, but from my experience in the past, things *could* get much worse if I speak out about it. (Ive been told this department is different than my old ones and I wouldnt be treated badly anymore, but can you blame me for keeping my mouth shut?) I take NO pride for being a decent person. If you read my previous post you would know that karma doesnt exist. Working hard doesnt necessarily Irritable Mood rewards would be guaranteed. I did not choose this house. I hate it. But it gives me time away from my parents so at least that is a positive.', 'Depression leads to hopelessness. Hopelessness prevents me from taking any more steps... I am glad you fought and got better. I hope this story inspires other people with Mental Depression.', 'Im sorry about your friend and Im happy that you are strong enough to fight your struggles. I have done many actions, but my perspective can no longer change. I know that it is impossible to be happy all the time. I am not even sure if that is what I want. The only thing I am sure of, is I dont want to live beyond the date I have set.', 'I dont disagree with you. It *could* get better. Much much better. But this is the sad part: I would rather give up on that KNOWING that it would no longer get any worse.', 'Thanks Ill try to keep that in mind', 'It is hope that makes me feel Depressed mood. Hope is a lie. Its all just chance. And if I can see the odds of living a sad, meaningless, lonely, Mental Depression life are so in my favour then I should just give up early.', 'I dont want to. I just dont want to live. I hate life.', 'I am not leaping into Suicide. I am turning 28 and have thought a great deal about this. I know why Im Depressed mood. I will always remain Depressed mood and hopeless. Not every situation regarding Mental Depression can be fixed. I have tried to get help in the past and I know how the system works. I have been through the meds and been told its due to a chemical imbalance in my head. Ive been through counselling and done all the cognitive and other types of therapy. There are things that cannot be overcome. I have been single my whole life and its not going to get any easier.', 'I know how it feels and it sucks. Ive graduated through university, and couldnt get a job in my field. I work at a new place for a year and then a bully from my past (who has never been to university) starts work and makes fun of the fact that he gets paid more than me even though I have been trained in more areas. I raise this with the bosses and I get demoted to another department. Move forward a few years.... he now gets paid 5 figures while I still get paid a lowish rate. Karma does not exist.', 'I think Im still the same person.', 'I couldnt disagree with you more. Physical attractiveness and the perception of being nice is what attracts people. If you look Hyperactive behavior a slob who cant take care of your own body, then you will be judged. Having direction is more attractive? Dont make me laugh. Its only attractive if you look attractive. If a fat ugly slob wants to start a family and have kids, or wants a successful career in a job, chances are hes not going to get it. And I didnt say I wanted to become a drug addict. I want to experiment in ALL sorts of drugs. Experience new things. Not be bound by morals or what other people say.I do agree with you on one thing. Enjoy life by doing things I enjoy doing. But you seem to categorise enjoyment in your own narrow minded views. What is wrong with having no favourite music? Why do I have to settle on something specific? What if I Hyperactive behavior listening to all sorts of music besides opera? What if I Hyperactive behavior all sorts of movies equally from all sorts of genres? Finally, as I mentioned in my post, Im using Anger and self hatred to motivate myself. Im exercising because I want to look good and also want to feel the physical Ache that I deserve. That is what I want to do.', 'i Forgetfulness to Attention Deficit Disorder that I did see a psychologist for about two years. But I dont think she understood how I felt because she was newly married. I feel Hyperactive behavior nobody understands because almost everyone has been in a relationship before.', 'Im 28, and have always been alone. That has never changed. Ive been Depressed mood as long as I can remember. The only thing that has changed is that Im getting older, lonelier, and more Depressed mood.', 'Getting the house was extremely stressful. Dealing with banks, brokers, real estate agent... It was almost too much. But I went too far deep with it. I reluctantly got the house. Moving in stuff from my room to the house was also incredibly stressful. Especially as my dad insisted on borrowing his companys ute to move my stuff on my birthday. I had planned my day to relax with a couple of friends, but he made it so stressful for me. We had to double back to his work to get ICE which I didnt need or want. Basically it took the whole day which I already had plans for. It was so frustrating but I had to keep it inside because I had no right to argue because he was helping me. I had earlier wanted to call removalists to move my stuff, but he got Anger when he found out and insisted that he would take care of it. After that day, I promised myself never to spend another birthday in his presence again, even if it means not seeing other family members. Not long after I got the house, my cousin introduced me to one of her friends. She seemed nice and we went to a few lunches. She said she never much time because she had uni studies to do. After the forth time we met up, she gave me the just friends speech. Inside I was devastated. As I was driving home my car broke down. It just wasnt fair. I got my car fixed and tried to get on with life again. I noticed my workplace has some sort of counselling that was being offered and paid for as part of the bigger organisation. I decided to go for it. One of the reasons why I gave up on counselling before was because it was expensive and also wasnt much help. Even if the counselling may still be crap but at least its free now so I figured I might take a shot at it. I tried to book an appointment but they said it would take a couple of weeks. So I waited. On the day of my appointment my car broke down as I was driving along a busy freeway. Part of me gave up that day. I had to wait over 2 hours for a tow truck under a hot sun. It took a lot of effort not to step out to oncoming traffic. I really needed to talk to someone that day, but it couldnt happen. All because my car couldnt make it. Because I dont have money to get a half decent one, because I chose to get the house instead. Choices that I made. Mistakes. Following parents advice/insistence. Mistake. I was on the edge of a knife. I just needed something a little more to swing me to a direction. To live or to die. I knew from that moment on, I was unable to mentally endure a setback any time soon. But I also had to try. I had to fight for a way out. I knew my job was paying low, so I applied for a job in the mines. The interview went well. It was basically the same type of job that I was doing now, but on a mine site. Accommodation and food is sorted. It was a fly in fly out job with a decent enough roster. In the end I received a call saying I got the job, but the pay was extremely low. When I calculated it, I would be getting paid more sure, but only because I would be working a lot more hours at a lower hourly rate. I was disappointed and had to decline. There was no point in getting paid less and moving to an isolated mine site. I then found out that the same bully from the other department had got a new job a couple of months earlier. It was at the same company as I applied for, same working conditions, same job role, but with a salary close to 100k a year. This sounds unbelievable, but its sadly true. The worst kind of co incidence ever. Its also sad because it was this moment that convinced me that no matter how much happiness I received from now, it will never be enough to make life worth living again. It totally changed my view on life completely. I could win the lottery and be a multimillionaire, but I would assure anyone reading this, I still intend to die and the date I have in mind. I am still going to try and be as positive as I can be, even though it is extremely difficult. Its been over half a year since learning that the bully was getting paid so much more than what I was offered. Everyday single day since then, Ive thought about Suicide at least a few times a day. But things have also been better since. I have recently applied and transferred to another department that is so much better than my previous 2 departments that I worked at. Everybody is so nice and Im currently getting treated fairly. However Suicide is still on my mind. The date and method is still running though my head a few times a day. It feels horrible but at the same time I understand how Ive arrived here. I chose to apply for that job and keep my hopes up. Its my fault I kept my hopes up. As a result Ive learnt that hope really does destroy me. To hope for something better is wrong. If something good or positive comes in my life then thats good and Ill accept it. But unfortunately Ive been through enough. No amount of happiness can ever convince me that life is worth living. I cant Stress this enough but Ill say this once more: There are limits to how much a person can endure mentally before they cannot be helped anymore. ', 'This was beautiful.', 'I agree with you. Things have indeed become better in my life. Im just unable to feel Hyperactive behavior its ever going to be enough to make it worth living.', 'I guess I should begin at the beginning. My Schizophrenia, Childhood was not particularly a happy one. My main memories of it are being constantly scolded and beaten by my dad and sometimes my mum. They would emphasise the importance of education to such an extent where it made me Depressed mood. Sure it may be great to give a child a head start, teaching me things that my classmates did not know yet. But to force it the way they did was incredibly painful for me.In grade one, I remember my uncle gave me and my sister stickers. At the time I thought it would be a great idea to give some of the stickers to my classmates at school. My parents found out that the stickers were missing and asked where they went. When they found out, they were not happy. Well particularly my dad. I remember him screaming at me with so much Anger. He threatened to kick me out of the house. This is no exaggeration. Even though it was a bluff, he had the door opened and was screaming at me to get out. I vividly remember hiding behind my mums legs as my mum was telling me to say sorry. My mums acceptance of my dads Anger outbursts soon developed into an encouraging behaviour of his actions. It wasnt long before she encouraged my dad as he scolded and hit us. Screaming stuff Hyperactive behavior, \xe2\x80\x9cyou deserve this\xe2\x80\x9d and \xe2\x80\x9cthis is what you get\xe2\x80\x9d in Chinese. It may be her way to encourage us kids to always do the right thing to avoid this situation. Its pathetic. In one of my early grades I was being introduced to the times-table. I have painful memories of trying to remember them. I just remember I wanted to play Lego with my sister, but I was forbidden until I can memorise it all. I snuck away\tto play Lego with my sister anyway and my mum hit me and took me away and told me I was in school and had to learn it Hyperactive behavior all my classmates were. I was telling my classmates about times-tables and they had no idea what it was. I felt Anger that I was being forced to learn something we werent even taught yet.I remember that my parents wanted me to improve my handwriting. So everyday, I had to fill two pages of copied text. As a child I found this very boring. The pages seemed to go on forever. The text I copied were from Disney stories. If I didnt finish the 2 pages daily, I would get hit. That happened quite a lot.My mum had ideas to improve my knowledge. She would bring books from the library and try to get me to memorise them. \xe2\x80\x9cNutritio

Ideation

user-230

['If you are having concerns, you absolutely consult a professional. ', 'Try to remember that most of lifes best moments havent happened yet. ', 'Just be understanding and supportive when he needs you to be. The rest of the time just be his sister. ', 'I dont think anyone can say conclusively if this "normal behavior". Although I would say it Tired possible that she can be in denial and afraid to come to grips with your diagnosis. If you feel you need the meds then you would be wise to let that be know to your doctor or therapist so they can back you up. ', 'Ive know many people afflicted by this disorder and for many medication is the only way to have a "normal" life. Ask your doctor to play with the dosage of your meds to keep the side effects as minimal as possible. ', 'Why are you messing with this guy? No one is hitting on anyone. ', 'Dont be overly concerned with a diagnosis from an ER doctor. They are not in a good position to give an accurate diagnosis. If you have a doctor you have been seeing and that knows you decently well, I would consider their word of much more value. ', 'Go see a professional ', 'Therapist here.. Studies have stated that the most common Hallucinations are tactile, followed by auditory and visual. ', 'Not even going to read that all. Looking for a diagnosis online is not appropriate. Go see a professional ', 'Go see a professional', 'If she is saying that she is Worried and doesnt know of she can control herself, you need to call an ambulance. ', 'Its not extremely common but also not unheard off. People will often report not remembering episodes, often disassociating for a short period. Sort of like blacking out. ', 'Keep your head up man. It will get better if you try. I know this.', 'Or just take your meds. ', 'Some clinicians believe that "real" schizophrenia does not have the Emotional upset component. I have meet people who have said they generally dont feel anyway but normal or how they regularly feel. No Feeling angry or Feeling unhappy or changes in mood. I would say that for those that do feel a strong Emotional upset component, they may be better diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. ', 'Yup', 'Go to the ER, show the Dr your old medicine and explain how you cant currently get any but are struggling without it. You shouldnt be hospitalized if you tell them you are not currently a threat to yourself but are concerned you may be if not helped soon. Hopefully the Dr will be kind enough to understand and write you a scrip for a while. In that time you need to find yourself a local clinic or psych in private practice to get you back on your regiment. ', 'Not a naive question at all. But the only real answers will come soon enough. Youll see how the meds affect you, if you are unhappy with the results then you speak with the Dr about trying something else. ', 'Do you hear the numbers being said aloud by a voice? ', 'If it means anything it sounds like you did the right thing. ', 'If you tell them you are not currently experiencing SI/HI or command Hallucinations they should not be able to hold you. ', 'You can do it. Give yourself time to figure this out. Get the treatment you need and life can and will be just what you wanted it to be. It may be 12 days or more. But it will get better. ', 'If she has made Suicidal threats you should contact EMS as soon as possible. Do not allow her to be alone until she is being cared for by professionals.', 'Hey man. Listen things will be ok, you need to get yourself some help. See a psych or therapist. Get your mood back up and then you will see there is hope. Once your feeling a bit better youre gonna take sometime and learn the things you need to know to find a partner and the other things you want for your future. ', 'Your Weakness of hand are tied my friend. Youre best bet is to talk to her and get her to voluntarily seek help. Doesnt have to be a hospital. Otherwise she is an adult and cant be forced until something happens that would force legal issues to force her. Which Im sure no one wants. Talk to her. Use taking care of her kids as a point to try and catch her rational side. ', 'I would be one to agree with you. Truth is that all symptoms vary from person to person and degree. Diagnostic criteria is really a way to try and create a spectrum to try and measure what can only be reported by the client. ', 'You shouldnt feel like you "did" anything to him. What you did is get him the help he needs. I am not schizophrenic, I am actually a licensed therapist and from a clinical perspective you absolutely did what was needed. It sounds like he was havin a pretty severe manic episode. Asking him to voluntarily stay for 2 more days was also a fantastic idea. I know this is all Tired "easier said than done" but Ive had to call EMS on people I love and clients alike I can say you can rest easier now knowing he is safe and will be helped. ', 'Downvote that. But believe me what seems hopeless now will not always be there. And shame on whoever downvoted my comment. ', 'It say anything back?', 'Smart ass? Pretentious? Shit man. I hear Tired often that people need to hear these things again. Be reminded. Often when feeling suicidal, we tend to forget even the most cliche of things. So everything you said sucks. ', 'I need to tell you I say this all the time. I jokingly say that even without one on, some many people assume that what youre doing anyway. ']

Supportive

user-260

['Im afraid I have to respectfully disagree. ;) For a start, if you had no value you wouldnt have the job. Secondly you absolutely do have value.Skills are not things we are born with. We learn them. You can always learn skills.', 'Youre right to question this stuff. For now, do your homework so you can pass school and learn stuff then go out into the Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult world where you have more control over your decisions.', 'The classic existentialist problem. Maybe look into some of their writings. Ill be honest and say i dont have an answer. But heres a lame child-Hyperactive behavior analogy. When you build a sand castle you know at the start the tide is going to come in and wash it all away to nothing making it totally futile. Yet still you choose to build one and lovingly craft it and even look forward to it. Why?', 'But the thing is people do love you. If your parents didnt care at all they wouldnt even be putting food on the table. Parents can be very bad at parenting but it doesnt Irritable Mood they dont have feelings.You are only 17. If you only knew how young that is! How much time you have to do things. Whatever youve screwed up, youve barely started. In 10 years everything you think youve messed up noone will care about anyway. Trust me.As you say we are all going to die anyway. Surely you owe it to yourself to stick around a bit longer and see what you can do with yourself. After all you only get one shot. Plenty of time to be dead later. Whats the rush?Everyone has to fail before they can succeed. Its the only way you learn anything. Come on, you are stronger than you think. ;)', 'Monty Python - Dead Parrot: http://youtu.be/4vuW6tQ0218"Four Candles": http://youtu.be/qu9MptWyCB8', 'Actually you can learn confidence. Sure its harder for some pplespecially after a lifetime of no confidence or setbacks. But its still sth you can learn. Intelligence on the other hand is not sth you can just learn. You luckily have that. With intelligence you can learn charisma. Google how to learn charisma etc youll find theres stuff out there. Remember no baby is born with many of these things; they learn them. If anything Id say we are born naturally confident. We simply unlearn it from bad life experiences. Which implies we can learn it again.', 'That sounds pretty devastating. Can you not return at all (I.e. youve been kicked out permanently) or you can go back in a year? Not a particularly pleasant experience sure, but it gives you a chance to take time out to sort stuff out.I wont try and play things down. Having big setbacks in life is horrible. But it doesnt have to be The End.You are lucky to have such good relationships and people who care about you, and you are obviously a considerate person. Youve at least thought a bit about the impact your death would have by your desire to choose a less Violent method. (Yes, avoid trains.)BTW I Hyperactive behavior your thing with the dieresis on su\xc3\xafcide. Thats cute. Sounds Hyperactive behavior you know a bit about linguistics. Maybe you could go into teaching English one day. You dont necessarily need a college degree.If you have been doing poorly in studies is there a reason perhaps? Spending a bit too much time on the societies. Depression? General lack of motovation? Or do you have an undiagnosed learning disorder? If youre just finding the course too hard maybe you can speak with your tutors to get extra help.Have you confided in your friends and family how distressed youre feeling?', 'Sorry to hear youre in such a lonely situation. :( If you want to cry, cry. Theres no shame in that. Its normal to feel that way when basic emotional needs arent met. Everyone needs a friend. What sort of jobs are you applying for? All that rejection can be soul-destroying so youve done well to persevere despite it. Is there a job agency nearby that can help?. Is it that you have no good friends to turn to or that you have good friends who are too far away? Maybe you can Skype them? Not the same as meeting in person but its something.', 'All of those things can ultimately be fixed except the last one. Dont do it. Even if you want to do it guns are not the way to go. There are much less horrific ways. Not least if you react at the last second and miss. Youd be surprised how often that happens. Survival instinct. Seriously, its not worth it. As i said jobs and friends can be replaced. Faces cant be put back together. Sorry to be so graphic. Take a deep breath. Remember the good things. Sunlight in a forest. Kittens. Smell of a BBQ on a hot day. Feeling sand between your toes on the beach. Things you used to enjoy. That sort of stuff. Remember moods come and go all the time Hyperactive behavior clouds. Never make permanent decisions based on your current mental state which is subject to change.', 'Actually it does make sense. Think youll find a lot of ppl in history have felt similarly. The old ennui, Weltschmerz, etc.Even your random "what if" thoughts about Suicide you are not alone in. ', 'Well you havent been fired yet so cross that bridge when it comes pardon the pun. :pYouve done well to get a job so you can probably get another.So maybe ppl around you dont Hyperactive behavior you. But there are a lot of ppl out there who Hyperactive behavior weirdos. And youre clearly smart.', 'Youre right that its not simple. Life is difficult. Change requires work. Growth takes time. Oak trees and biceps dont appear overnight.Feeling Hyperactive behavior you are past the final straw and too burnt out to try again after so many failed attempts I can sympathise with.What I would challenge though is some of your assumptions."My life is always going to be a cycle of ineptitude, incompteance, and mediorcity..."No matter what has happened in the past I dont think you can preempt the future. Even if you have tried before you cannot say with absolute certainty that things will *never* change."Everyone seems to have some sense of normalcy in their lives except me."I dont know who this is referring to. Its certainly not true in my experience. Depends who you are mixing with. Everyone is a strong word."...it will never change."See above.Never is a strong word. You can say that if you continue as you are that things are unlikely to change but the only time you can say categorically 100% that things will "never change" is if you are dead.On a more macabre note, if you Irritable Mood jumping off bridges in a literal sense please dont. Its painful. But of course wed hope you dont consider any way.Its true that modern society is not as accommodating as it should be to highly sensitive people. But there are ways to channel it. You can also work from home to avoid dealing with people.You strike me as quite young. There is still time to have a new life.', 'Who cares whether its of use to anyone else? If it has value to you then it has value.If youre talking about economic value then thats a different matter. Then its about creating things that have enough value to other ppl that they will pay you for them. You can find what those things are then learn them. Which youre already doing by working. You are providing value to the world, ie some useful service or product, which is why your company pays you. But as for things you care about things have value simly because people ascribe value to them. If you paint a picture you Hyperactive behavior then it has value because you give it value. If someone else doesnt Hyperactive behavior it thats too bad. But it doesnt detract from its value in your eyes. If you enjoy doing something and other people dont who cares? It doesnt make you enjoy it less. Maybe you love camping and everyone else cant stand it. But that doesnt stop you enjoying camping and getting pleasure from it.', 'I know it can be devastating to lose someone who has come to define you. You can find yourself ripped apart. But maybe thats also a chance to reform yourself. Start at the base and rebuild. You dont have to annihilate yourself.If you look at your words youll notice youre pretty ambiguous. You "think" you "might". Suicide is not the kind of decision for ambiguity, although this is very common. But it is the one decision in life that really demands an "Im definitely doing this and I know deep down in the depth of my being its absolutely what I want to do". Because theres no going back. Most of the time we find we are not that determined. That really its not annihilating ourselves were craving but simply to destroy our old lives and start again. As in we confuse wanting to kill ourselves with wanting to kill life itself. It is possible to reconstruct yourself and start over without ending everything.', 'Even if charm and charisma cant ever be learnt or developed, why do you have to kill yourself if you are not successful in developing them? There are plenty of uncharismatic ppl who arent suicidal.You dont have to ooze charisma or be George Clooney to have ppl Hyperactive behavior you. Most ppl do just fine without that. If you want to be the life and soul of the party, sure. A great thing to aspire to, to becone that sociable etc. But few people are anyway. Sounds Hyperactive behavior you have a big focus on value. Finding value which is tied up with finding meaning and purpose. Maybe your challenge is to think about what it is that really motivates you and work to develop sth in that area. This doesnt happen overnight btw. But you can start today. The point of being smart is to use that smartness to develop yourself. Its what you do with it that counts. Just Hyperactive behavior being born with money. If you do nothing useful with it its not that amazing. Try and work out what drives you and how you can make that useful to others.', 'Seriously shes not worth it. No matter how much it hurts, your life is worth far more than any relationship. Hang in there. And there will be other women in future. No woman is ever worth losing your life to.']

Supportive

user-288

['You will be missed. I am thinking of you. I dont know you but it will still break my heart. This may not help you at all but I have had feelings of utter Sad mood where Ive felt so small and insignificant so I can understand a little of what you are going through. It was hard for me to feel Hyperactive behavior I made a mark on this world when the people around me do are not the supportive kind. What worked for me was actually opening up about my own problems and talking about it even though I was nervous and Social fear and had hesitations about what they would think of me. I said, Fuck it. Ive kept it in and was always the listener but that made me neglect my own needs. It seems Hyperactive behavior there is a lot going on in your life right now and you need to go to the beach or go do something that is just yours! Something that you enjoy doing and just spend a day focused on you. Once you start to feel Hyperactive behavior you are a little at peace and are a little motivated, the best thing you can do for yourself is to go talk to someone about how you feel. Talking to a professional or a friend you trust is so important! One day you will be stronger and someone will be sad and you will be able to hold them and it will Irritable Mood the world to them because no one else understands because of what you have gone through. I hope you will take care to keep yourself safe.Also Im going to say that you need to delete people who make you feel negative emotions, it doesnt make you a bad person to be selfish. Delete or ignore on facebook now, facebook makes it really hard to have boundaries. One of the things I am working on is learning to set boundaries for myself because I often let people walk all over me. This is something that might open your eyes as well and professional counselor can help you with this too. ', 'How are you now? Are you having thoughts of suicide? Im going to send you a PM and you can talk to me about anything or nothing but I can listen!', 'You know what would be cool for Reddit to have, chatrooms. At any rate thanks for doing what youre doing!', 'Your poem is so beautiful! It flows wonderfully makes me want to sing it. You should post it in r/Poetry', 'Losing someone you love is very hard to deal with and you have to let yourself mourn. This is the best time for you to focus on yourself and spend this time thinking about what type of person and boyfriend you want to be and work on that. You always wanted to try say snowboarding, so go and book a trip to the slopes! I know it is easier said than done too but this was what worked for me. Its going to be hard very hard for you to be friends right now. I would not suggest you be friends yet because it will continue to hurt. If she wanted to spend time with you then she should have stayed in the relationship and worked on it. Right now you need to do your best to be active and do things. Focus on yourself because who knows what will happen in the future. Sometimes when you let someone go they will come back so who knows? ', 'Ultimately I would agree with you that in order to begin the healing process you cannot do it on your own and seeing a professional can guide you whilst youre lost. However, we have negative feelings that are Hyperactive behavior and often when it is feasible to see a professional. Some people paint or take pictures instead of write because chase away the Stress until it becomes manageable. While it may be relevant that some may not be cured by writing this same concept applies to taking anti depressant medication. Doctors recommended you focus on taking these medication to stay alive and the same applies to writing. If your negative emotions are overwhelming and writing them down keeps you from doing harm to yourself, that should be your first priority. ']

Indicator

user-162

['Sounds like your other half really wants to be part of your life, no one is beyond saving but you have to help yourself, which means you need to talk to a medical professional. Just cause you push people away doesnt mean they wont come back. But by the sounds of it the first step is addressing what is going on with you. ', 'I am not saying that it wasnt the case. I was just tossing the possibility out there. If it is the case, I am surprised your doctors havent looked into different studies because that is you know a pretty rare thing to become immune that fast. ', 'If you fail, the honest truth, you will end up in a hospital on lockdown, and things with basically not longer be your decision. So the easiest solution to that is get help, and talk to people while the ball is in your court. As the poster below states exactly your gonna end up with a damaged body, and on lockdown, and shit will be a hell of a lot worse then the reason you decided suicide was worth in the first place. ', 'Have you consulted other medical professionals, is there nothing no one can do, medical science is pretty amazing. You have ever right to be angry, however by the sounds of it is not that doctors fault, you simply suffered likely one of the known complications and side effects, even if its rare. You cant blame another human being and effect their job and life, because you got fucked over by statistics combined with your genes. That being said, start talking to other docs, gather information, plenty of people become impotent at young ages for all kinds of reasons. Might help to find and talk to people in the same boat as you. ', 'Resources arent family, they are things like groups for victims of sexual assault, who are capable of hooking you up with a network of people to talk to, therapy, mental health, pretty much a host of things under the sun. Family and friends are support systems but they arent in a position to truly help you. Other groups are, unfortunately your story is not unique and plenty of people have unfortunately gone through what you have. ', 'Nothing like that is treatable, treatment by all means does not make things disappear. And therapy and support groups might be one of those things you always have to go do. Mental health treatment isnt magic you have to help yourself as well. ', 'It only wins if you let it, sometimes Depression is like ivy, its hard to kill but its manageable if you keeping cutting it back. Meds might not of helped you cause they werent the right meds. Talking to someone, combines with meds, other resources, and learning new coping skills might make a world of difference. And for the record fuck the people you go to school with, chances are you will never interact with those people again. No such thing as normal, everyone has flaws, demons, etc. ', 'Talk to your friends, let them know that you support them in whats going on with your life etc, and they dont have to hide it from you that you are willing to listen etc. ', 'Lockdown in the hospital its meds in a controlled environment etc, therapy all that good stuff. You have misread the law in AUS, I just googled it and said that if you make a suicide pact with someone and you fail and the other person dies then you can be charged with manslaughter, or manslaughter in regards to assisted suicide not in regards to just failing offing yourself. ', 'I will talk. Im up. Im fine with whatever you want to use. ', 'First never apologize for venting, we all need to vent. Look at this way, suicide and thoughts as such are not an easy thing to deal with, and no matter what life brings you in the future good or bad, remember that you are stronger than you think. Tonight you faced a true monster head on and won. Sometimes it really just all is relative so to speak. And if you ever want to talk, or anything I can help with inbox is open. No judgement. ', '-First of all Gay, totally not a Sin, that is shit invented by others to control and make them feel bad about themselves. - Figure out you, and what makes you happy. Fuck what others tell you sex is or what it should be about. -You do have emotions, they are likely repressed cause you are, deal with the above and I think it will open up all kinds of doors. -Weight is fixable, you want to drop some weight you can do it, and skin and other problems you can have it covered in a lot of places if it causes other medical problems. You might even find a doctor willing to do things for you free of charge. Change is possible, if you want it bad enough. -Sounds like you need to find out what you want to do with life, once you figure that out, work isnt work. - I will give you some blunt truth about meds, they do work and lots of people think that once they work they dont need them, but there is no shame of that. There are tons of meds on the market there is a combo that works for you, but you have to work with the doc to find that combo, which includes possible lifestyle changes etc. - Again sins are written by morons -FYI McCandless which is the guy from into the wild aka the real person there was no painless death, he starved to death from his own stupidity nothing about that is romantic, or smart. -Also no painless way to kill yourself, that is the absolute truth. Even pills can do a lot of damage and Pain before they kill you. Thats if they kill you, most people pass out and Vomiting in their sleep. ', 'OP the fact that you wrote this is a cry for help. It shows that you dont actually want to do what you are talking about doing. Talk to someone, your life is fixable, there are lots of resources and things for people that have gone through what you have. ', '911, safe than sorry and it will put your friend on the radar to get the help he needs, so he doesnt do it again. ', 'Hopefully they can figure out something. ', 'Thing will get better, college can happen at any age it doesnt have to happen now. You got lots of time. My suggestion is give it some more time, check out some more resources, sometimes when things are done in a pinch they dont work as well. Can you go to a college that is local, so you can live at home, work, get financial aid and go to school?My other advice to you is if these people were truly your friends they wouldnt just not communicate with you, in truth most people dont keep their high school friends through out life. ', 'I will ask this and I apologize if it doesnt work. Are you immune to drugs or is it a mental thing? Are you messing with yourself so to speak? Ie if you believe the drugs wont work, they wont. Often with Depression drugs alone dont do the trick. ', 'Yeah well maybe that is not a bad thing. Buddy sounds like he could use some intervention, and even when people think their parents are going to react badly often they do not, they are just happy their kid is not dead. ', 'So what do you like? College isnt for everyone but there might be a trade etc that is right up your alley. If you are having issues talk to a health professional as well they can hook you up with resources that are free that can help with coping methods etc. ', 'Your 17, you dont know what living is yet. That sounds horrible and harsh but its true. Talk to your parents, friends, someone you trust, get yourself help. ', 'Put it this way, if you Tired 23 times and failed there is a reason. If it was something you really wanted to do, you wouldnt have posted this, and you wouldnt have had 23 almost check outs. Youve been through some awful shit there is no denying that, and I am not trying to negate that. But living and thriving after something like that is possible, and you are not alone in your experiences or what you are feeling. Even if it feels that way. ']

Supportive

user-425

['same here, I go through some really Mental Depression funks, but the majority of the time I just dont find anything interesting. I categorize my Mental Depression by urge to kill myself. If I really feel Hyperactive behavior killing myself, I just know that Im having a bad day and I need to take it easy with myself. If Im just feeling kind of bland but I dont want to kill myself then I know its an alright day. but I just dont feel happy and I finding nothing interesting. I dont have feelings of not belonging or worthlessness so Im in this limbo state that I know Im not going to kill myself but Im still feeling anhedonia. ', 'It may not feel Hyperactive behavior people with actually miss you but trust me they will. Do you have any hobbies to take yourself out of these negative thoughts? ']

Ideation

user-138

['Huh? Im sorry, I didnt mean to imply it was easy.', 'Well, theres one way it trips you up right there. It makes you "not show up", right?', 'Just responding to let you know am listening. I honestly dont know where to begin looking, though.', 'Uh... death is the cessation of experience, and the cessation of an experiencer. Theres no one there to experience any euphoria.', 'Wait... whats going on? Since you posted here, talk to us?', 'Hey, just saw this now. Feel free to PM me or respond here (or if you want over IM or email or whatever, lemme know)', 'And please dont give up.', 'Sorry for delay, and thats one possibility. Another is to try to reapply for the next round. (did any of them explain why they rejected your applications?)', 'Hey, heres one idea: http://lesswrong.com/lw/43m/optimal_employment/(its long because it goes through a bit of math justifying the idea that it may be a better option than it sounds at first). Its probably moving a bit farther than you originally intended but..As far as getting there, maybe we can at least help you afford to get there?', 'Well, talk about it anyways? I am Worried.', 'Thanks. And either way, Im here whenever you want to talk.> In terms of the exam questions - I went to our school administrator that is supposed to help with study habits, exam review etc, and she told me I need to think the way that the people that write the boards think, that I have to change the way I do things to get the right answer.Im not sure I understand. If the answers you give are correct, whats the issue? (How would they even know whats going on inside your head?)> You may say its ok to cry and to feel, but as a doctor I cant do any of that. I cant do any of that as a med school student with anyone from my class.What do you mean? I mean, obviously if youre a doctor you cant let yourself break down in the middle of a medical procedure youre doing or such, but that doesnt mean youre never allowed to feel or anything like that.Why no car, btw? And is there any public transport you can use?And again, for what its worth, Im listening, so you can talk with me whenever', 'Go to concerts as an audience member, I meant. The way I understood what you said about "not being Tired good, just for fun" was that you werent ready to play for the public. Or did I misunderstand what you meant about how the shows work?Hrm... drummer living far away is a problem. Logistics always causes trouble for things. Annoying.Oh, in general, anything else youre interested in? What do you like to, say, read? (well read about, think about, would like at some point potentially to do if possible, or whatever)> I didnt mean to shoot down all your ideas btw :/No worries.', 'Means hes one of the people that started SW way back when.', '(I ought to go to sleep, so will reply more tomorrow, but please do elaborate, Im listening (well, will read your replies and stuff))> and being on the OFFENSIVE about her current problems//disabilities because of it.Huh? Maybe just because Im Tired, but not quite understanding. Shes on the offensive how?As far as the child leashes, yeah, ugh.', 'Hey there, I just wanted to let you know I was reading all this (both parts.)I want to take a bit of time to think through, digest all of it, and so on before replying, because theres a lot, but I didnt want you to think I was just disappearing or ending the conversation or anything. Just will take a bit of time for me to think through and reply to all of this.Ill right away say that what youve described to me doesnt strike me as sociopathy. (I admit, Im no expert, but, at least to me, doesnt seem that way.)I also wanted to say that it might be good to stand up for yourself, at least enough for you to realize that you dont owe him continued interaction, and definitely not going along with him to church or whatever. He was Tired bad to you, and you, at the Tired least, deserve to ask yourself whats best for you, to remind yourself that your own well being matters too.(This is just a Sharp Pain short reply, and later or tomorrow Ill try to give a much larger reply to everything you wrote once Ive properly digested it.)', 'Tis okay. You werent really anyways. Just, well, youve been Stress and a Depression and stuff. Dun worry about it. Sorry I didnt answer you before, was afk.', 'Any idea when, approximately?And, dumb thought... maybe the too Tired/worn out is more literal than the sense in which you intended it? ie, maybe need to work on getting to sleep earlier, etc etc? (just an idea, dunno.)And its okay, you dont have to be sorry for not knowing. Im just asking since am trying to understand more.And for what its worth, I am here.', 'Im glad youre doing better! :) \\*hugs just because\\* :)I can certainly understand that Fear. But yeah, Im really glad youre doing better.', 'Hey, talk to us?', 'Perhaps its less inevitable than you think. Perhaps tomorrow you will have the courage to talk to family. Or perhaps we will resume our conversation tomorrow, and perhaps that will help you. So please, dont give up on life, okay?For now though, I need sleep (am approaching keyboard face mode), and I really hope to continue talking with you tomorrow though. I suggest you get to bed and get some sleep too.', 'Sorry for delayed reply. And its hardly causing a scene if theres an actual issue. Just mention it first thing, mention the thoughts, etc...Just looked at your reply to calculator, and seems to me that its still just thoughts. Even if you were using those for fantasizing, I wouldnt think it any reason to feel _guilty_, and certainly no reason to hate yourself.If the thoughts really bother you, talk a bit more to your psych about it, but dont go hating yourself or anything over it. And if this was triggered by going off the meds, maybe you should be back on the meds then? (Or maybe after a bit of your body "getting used" to being off the meds, itll stabilize and wont keep happening?)', 'This must be a usage of "cut off communications" that is altogether new to me. :P but yeah, erf. Did you specifically go there to visit her or happened to be going to that area for some other reason?', 'Therere other people responding/talking with you, right?And Id rather you were, in fact, here this time tomorrow, etc...As I said, Im here if you want to talk.', 'Well, if he actually left you over that, ugh.If the data supports it, the data supports it. Unless I misunderstand, perhaps he was being a jerk and looking for an excuse.If it turns out youre wrong.. that too is part of science, come up with theory, test, if turns out false, then oh well and keep looking/trying to learn.', 'Hey, not sure what to suggest. Maybe different meds are needed?\\*offers a hug\\* as I said, not sure what else to suggest, but I am listening.', 'Thanks. :)If you want, let me know when you get back how it went? (make sure your therapist knows about your lack of sleep, btw). And try to get some sleep tonight.And youre welcome, thank you for saying that. ^_^', '\\*hugs back\\* okay, I await your PM. And youre welcome again.And again, please do reconsider. (If there is anything else I can do to help, anything that might help you perhaps cope, perhaps manage to choose to live instead, please tell me. Ill continue to be here, so if you do decide to live, but still need someone to talk to, Ill certainly be willing to continue to talk with you.)', 'Have you started seeing the specialist, or do you mean thats someone you will be seeing later?Might be worthwhile anyways to give it a tryAnd are you able to articulate why you dont want to live? do you know why?(and please dont give up hope)', 'Then maybe make it easier on yourself. Go to your psych and say something to the effect of "Im finding it difficult to say what I need to say. But Ive said it elsewhere. Im Tonormandie on Reddit, specifically, look at these posts and comments" or something like that.', 'eLance/Rent-a-coder arent the same thing as a starup though. Its more like working as a contract worker, right? Actually, maybe go to your PO and ask about those directly, show those to your PO and see if its okay?(Sorry, I dont really know anything about the rules regarding this)Also, \\*blinks\\* how do you figure 25 is ancient?', 'Did you mean to reply to me or to the OP?', 'Oh, okay. Then just go.', 'Why is it that everything is bothering you?', 'You mean everything just feels like its all just too much?', 'Whats Kickstarter? And good luck. What sort of stuff happened in AU?And yeah, you definitely need to get out of that environment.', 'Hey, Ive been wondering how you were doing. \\*offers a hug\\*And dont worry about pushing me away. Email me, etc...Im listening. If I may suggest, get back into the habit of washing yourself, etc... not for the sake of any social rules or such, but because it might help _you_ feel better.I imagine the folding the bed sheets and stuff more help to give structure, to give specific things to do, etc.. Might be worth it.As far as people you already know who are acquaintances, well since you already know them, that might be a good start, to try to hang out with them?Either way, Im here and listening.', 'Erf. And, stupid idea maybe, but have you tried taking _short_ walks during the day? ie, start with just, I dunno, ten minutes out, then maybe a bit more the next day, etc?As far as foods, therere plenty of things that you dont have to fry/using a frying pan for. Not sure what else to suggest, but am here and listening.', 'Ouch, and yeah, I can easily imagine that being frustrating.(oh, and good that youre less panicked and stuff now.)', 'Aww. Why would I Pain or scare you?and why do you think its too late? \\*hugs again\\* If alone, maybe call someone?(oh, sorry for slow replies, will only be on here sporadically today)', '\\*nods\\* I meant if it was an issue with understanding, maybe I could help. Other than that, try to get better. (and if _STILL_ stick, please finally go to doctor?)And oof. Am trying to think of any way to help.Either way, am here.', 'Unless youre a magician, in which case youre in the hoodini.Hey, just letting you know, its getting kinda late here, so if Im slow to reply, its due to having gone to bed. But will continue to reply tomorrow.', '\\*offers a hug\\* If you take a step back, then that just means you need to take a step forward again. Please avoid harming yourself further, and either way, I dont think youve failed.Please live.', 'Well, first, make it clear to yourself that your intention is to live.Maybe see if you can get on unemployment or something? As far as not remembering what sort of work you did before... do you have any records at home that may help you figure that out/remember it?As far as tax forms... isnt tax stuff public record? So couldnt you in theory go and just get another copy of it?', 'She did not "liberate herself". She has ceased to exist. That which made her her is no more. Her mind is lost, scattered to entropy. You can say it was her choice, but then it is also emsy666s choice to object to it.EDIT: And yes, it really is a tragedy when someone is lost, either by their own hand or by another means. If nothing else, then when by their own hand, it is a tragedy that they were in such Pain, such suffering, that they felt that was the only solution.', 'Ugh as far as your blood sugar bouncing and the rest. (if it remains unstable, you need to go to doc? (asking, since I dont really know much of anything about how this sort of thing works))I dont like that you started blacking out and stuff...Make sure to get plenty of rest and get better Sharp Pain. And cool as far as the pic! (if you want, lemme see it too?)', 'Hey, maybe you need a change in your meds then, or something?Im not sure what else to say right now, but please dont give up. Just an idea, but maybe try not identifying with the Depression? I mean, treat it as something part of your brain is doing _to_ you? Dont say "I am Depression" but rather "Depression is happening" or such?(to yourself that is. Dunno how much it will help, but maybe it will help a bit to at least not identify with the feeling, as such?)sorry if this seems a bit incoherent, is late here. Might be going to sleep soon, but wanted to at least let you know that someones reading this.', 'Whats been causing the "dips"? ie, specific things going on thatre upsetting you, or just feelings of Depression not really caused by outside situations as such?', 'Good that youre going to call the hotline, but please dont hang yourself. Please, I really hope you choose to live.Am listening too, but yes, please call then. And let us know how it went and how youre doing. \\*offers a hug\\*', 'This may be a dumb question, but any chance you could move somewhere else instead?Im here and listening either way.', 'Hardly a failure merely for having nasty circumstances happen to you. Think of it this way: Your kids care about you, right? Theyd want to help. You should let them know. I think theyd rather help you deal with that then lose you.As far as the commute... what about possibility of moving closer? (or, alternately, is there decent mass transit there so you dont have to drive yourself?)', 'Ooof. Poke the financial aid office and see if you can get more given that you lack the money?', 'Sorry, "I think you should..."s probably arent as helpful right now, dunno. Just give it a bit of time first, and not in a "I will wait x time, planning to kill myself" but "I will take some time, see how I feel, etc..."(sorry if this perhaps sounds a bit incoherent, am kinda Tired)', 'If it makes you feel like a hypocrite, then maybe... dont be one. Instead, please live?Imagine the advice that you yourself are giving now is being given by someone else to you?', '\\*nods\\* ah and oof. Try to avoid doing that?', '> Lots of things, dont have the energy to explain it all sorry.Well, whenever you want to tell me, Im listening. (or am listening to anything else you may want to say, for that matter.)> Mm, just makes it feel hopeless to keep trying.Ooof. :( I know the feeling. Is a sucky feeling. But either way, am here, and I do think its worthwhile and not hopeless.', 'As I said now in another comment... I think part of the issue may be that you keep telling yourself that.', ':)One way Ive seen it put/generalized was something along the lines of this:"I desire to live at least one more day. For any amount of days, I desire to live at least one more day than that. By the principle of mathematical induction on the positive integers, I desire to be immortal." :)(Hrm..., maybe instead view it as productive procrastination? we want to put off "being late", as it were. :))', 'I believe theres one on Afternet', 'Well, start at whichever part comes to mind first, I guess? Am listening.\\*offers a hug again\\* Im glad youre holding on for now.', 'Except we talked about that. Some people may, I dunno. But you also seem to too quickly assume people hate you... even people that like you.', 'added (I think.)', '> No, itd cause massive arguments and not achieve anything. It would help if he approached relationships rationally but he does not, unfortunately.What sort of arguments? ie, if you just showed it to him, asked him to read and basically said "heres how stuff looks to me/how Ive been feeling" or otherwise wrote it out for him?(also, remember... if hes being a jerk, thats him, not a reflection of you.)Other than that... maybe try posting in [r/relationships](http://www.reddit.com/r/relationships) too and describe the situation between the two of you. Maybe someone there would have some additional insight.As far as Anxiety and alone... youre not alone, you have friends. You have that friend you told me about, Im here and listening, etc...', 'Actually, may just get to bed early tonight myself, so am here for now though.What happened and hows he doing? You talked to him in person?', 'Hey, just saw this now. You want to talk about your life? Im listening.Whatre your interests anyways?', 'Youre welcome.And yeah, youre right, both sides need to work to maintain it. I hope it does work out though.And yeah, hopefully youll get your violin soon. (do you have a shipping/tracking number thing for it?) And wanting encouragement doesnt sound stupid to me.', 'An outside perspective? Someone that knows something about psych meds and might, if needed, be able to prescribe something that may help? (if its a brain chemistry issue), etc?I do understand the feeling about wanting to deal with it yourself, but...', '\\*nods\\* Id just say that perhaps you shouldnt overly underrate your chances of meeting someone like that again.So seriously, please dont give up on life, okay?', 'Damn... I honestly dont know what to say except that Im here and listening.', 'I know some of the feeling. As I said, a little bit at a time, dont think too much about how much there is left to do.As far as your chest being tight/having difficulty breathing all Asthenia... do me a favor and see a doctor about that. (Your regular doc might send you to a pulmonary doc or such if needed, dunno.)Might be panic, (have you had panic/Anxiety attacks before?)And you said you had a lot go on this Asthenia. What happened this Asthenia?', 'Well, you said youre Tired alot, so..As far 1890-1960s America, you mean you like stories from that time period or stories _about_ that time period?', 'Could be just difficulty getting stuff done. But yeah, if you read that article, then maybe try saying "okay, Im not going to do that" and make a point of not doing so?Either way, Im listening.(and try maybe letting your friends know how youve been feeling?)', '\\*nods\\* okay.Either way, please stick around? And as I said, if you want my email address or phone number or otherwise want to talk, either here or privately, just lemme know, okay?', 'Well... first, what sorts of things would interest you. If youre bored, do you know why? What sorts of things would you find potentially interesting/nonboring?', 'Well, I really hope he decides to stick around..,', 'Wish I knew how to prove it. But, well, think of it this way: If I didnt care, would I be talking with you right now?', 'Please stick around after?Also, what do you mean by "(were a bit late in syndicationm just fyi)"?If you want to talk privately or whatever, pm me, if you prefer email or phone or whatever, lemme know. Just please stick around, please dont kill yourself, ok?', 'Why do you think no one notices you?And, well, for one thing, knowing more about you might give me a better understanding of whats going on. Id like to know more.As I said, Im listening.', 'But if they really can help you, perhaps best to actually let them help you?And as I said, am here.', '> Mm...okies. Most people are not Tired understanding however.That doesnt mean you deserve it. It just means theyre not Tired understanding.> Thank you :) I applied for a job today which is...well, its a Tired simple job, just walking dogs and caring for peoples pets whilst they are on holiday or unwell etc, but it would be some money, and Id get to spend the whole day with dogs rather than people which suits me pretty well heh. So I hope I get it.Cool, and good luck! :)> Sorry...long explanation...I dont like to mention this stuff out loud, at all, so although my boyfriend is aware of what happened to me and he knew I was upset by the scene in the movie I couldnt really tell him about it, and I dont have any way of...talking about why it bothered me, I guess.Nothing to be sorry for. Im listening. (well, reading) I havent read the book or seen the movie, but I can half guess at least what sort of things you might mean. And I am listening anytime.> The painting of the car. I need to talk to him about it anyway...I wanted to put it on my website but I did make it for him, technically, and it is his now, so I feel like I should have his permission before displaying it there. I guess I will ask him again if he liked it.Yeah, thats the one I was thinking of. As I said, I thought it was nice.> Sorry if I talk way too much...I realised it has been several months since I first posted here and youve talked to me pretty much the whole time...thank you for that, its really kind of you. It is ok if you are Tired of me heh :p I dont want to waste your time with my crap.Again, nothing to be sorry for. And no, not Tired of you, dont worry. And youre not wasting my time, really!Actually, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to PM me your email address so we can keep talking even if reddit misbehaves (or, say, during the upcoming sopa/pipa reddit Blackout.)', 'No prob, and let us know how stuff goes, okay?', 'As I said, good that youre going to be getting help.Oooof that youre feeling so bad though. (did anything recent trigger it getting this bad? (ie, was the driving test recent, or did I misunderstand?))', 'Well, I guess it depends on the sort of work, right? but some places/jobs even suggest 4 day work weeks, I think. In other cases, the work might be rather more varied than that. So, dont give up on life yet..Actually, if its okay to ask, what kinds of things are you interested in? What do you find interesting to read about, learn, do, etc etc?', 'Thank you too. ^\\_^', 'Just so I understand, the entirety of the "dirt" is that you swore once?Realistically, if you go to teacher and show this person has been deliberately harassing and stalking you, practically trying to push you into being Suicidal, and that person responds by telling the teacher, "oh yeah? well... he swore once and didnt admit to it", itd be _you_ thats in trouble?If thats the situation, then Id say go straight to trying to take legal measures against this person. At least, thatd be my suggestion, though IANAL.(Or, if nothing else, at least talk with your parents.)', 'Stick around. Maybe instead of thinking in terms of "every time I think Im doing better, something like this happens", think in terms of "whats the trend for the time between events like this?"If it seems to, on average, increase, then you are doing better.', 'Hey, just saw this now... Talk to me?', 'But while you were trying, life was, well, yeah...Id suggest keep trying. I dont think you failed, I think its a work in progress.And again, maybe try doing something thats fun for you. Some physical activity might be good.', 'Ow. nasty. Not sure what to tell you other than "ow ow ow".', 'Good that youe going to take the courses. I hope that goes well for you.', 'Ah, there you are, so didnt delete account, just post?And Id suggest first calling your local crisis hotline, and/or going to hospital and simply telling them your financial situation (or go to local social services office type thing and see what they say)', 'How is your life a horrible mess? What you listed certainly is _not_ any reason to kill yourself, IMHO.Theyre things you need to work on, though. As far as "stupid decisions", well, you and the entirety of humanity. Work on improving that, though.', 'I mean, you said you dont know how to keep living. So once youre feeling a bit better, (and again, please call 911), we can talk and see if we can figure out ideas that might help you, okay?', 'Hey, just wondering how you yourself are doing?', 'google maps estimates, for example, that Stirling, IL to Wheeling, IL is about 26 miles. (I didnt put in exact locations, just the cities.)So... not sure. Maybe Im making some mistake, maybe those cities are large enough that depending on where you live in Stirling and where the con is in Wheeling (in the case of Capricon, for instance), could be much farther.But yeah, youd know the area better, of course. I was just doing Sharp Pain searches/estimates of distances to see what I could find.', 'Depends on the meds. Maybe some of the Asthenia/lower doses ones might be good, (Say, some of the over the counter herbal stuff (the ones that work, that is)) or maybe something else.And yeah, as far as messiness and so on, I know what thats like', 'Just saw this now. Whats going on, talk to us? At least get a good nights sleep. If youve been up that much, that would affect you. Go get a good nights sleep.', 'Dont care in what sense? And I understand the feeling about wasting talent, but right now you can work on stuff.Also, just sent you a PM', 'I didnt say youd find a clone of her, I said that its reasonable that youd find someone _different_ but still _just as good_.As far as the edit, I meant along the lines of "Dont quit on life... its not as if you have anything better to do than, well, live."', 'http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/7sw8v/so_the_pills_are_right_here_on_my_desk/c07bay0What hes doing after is what concerns me. I really hope he decides to stick around...', '> I dont think I said that...I dont really want to see a therapist. Only reason that it could potentially be useful is to put some clear definition to what my stupid brains doing, but I have not found mental health professionals to be particularly helpful in the past, and dont really want to see them.Ah, maybe misremembered, then. And ooof. Howve they been unhelpful? Maybe try again and find different ones, hopefully more competent?> I havent been referred to a new Diabetes mellitus centre yet, but yeah, hopefully they will be good doctors.\\*nods\\* Ask your new GP to refer you to one?> I dont think there are specific things, but I dont know...finding it hard to think properly, which I guess feels kind of distressing all by itself.\\*nods\\* I think I may understand the feeling.> I guess...I feel Stress about being a bit behind on uni work, and about having to go back to London tomorrow, and be with people all day tomorrow. I feel mentally Tired from today as it is...so...yeah.Awww. Wait, you mean be with people when you get back to London, or be with people where you are now? And I know what you mean about getting behind. I guess try to just work on it some, step by step.But first maybe try to get a good nights sleep tonight.> And frustrated...cause...Im just useless. I cant do all the things Im expected to do Tired well and people dont give me a break about it. Its so Exhaustion trying to get things right and I dont manage to get it all right even when Im trying hard. I wish I wasnt expected to try to behave like people want me to. I dont want to, and I just get it wrong anyway. Its so bloody tiring. And I end up feeling like a stupid idiot and feeling angry. At least here, and with my friend, I dont have to try so hard, unlike in real life.How do you figure youre useless? Other than trouble finding work (which sounds largely like issues with the job market rather than anything particularly about you) what things are you having trouble with that people expect you to do? And ooof that people give you a hard time over it. :(Remember though, you know youre not stupid or anything like that, youve seen you can do well.(oh, sorry if I sound a bit out of it. Am a bit Illness)', 'Ah and oof. Well, as I said, maybe they could help you find work at least?', 'Hey, howre you feeling now?And youre not a stupid freak. Weird can be good.Please dont give up on life. As I said, not sure what to say, but I am listening.', 'Then... perhaps initially dont even reveal that its making you Suicidal, just explain that this stuff is going on with you, and that you need some help?Besides, you and he are different people. Maybe in other ways youre stronger.(Also, did he have some help/support overcoming it? Nothing wrong with you also asking for some help and support, even if your situations are different.)', 'Any chance it was just net misbehaving, so either he saw you leave first, or his bye didnt get through or something like that? (Ive been facing some issues like that, and have in the past repeatedly seen examples of stuff that, well, seems like some personal thing really turning out to be net misbehaving)But yeah, I think I can understand why itd Pain. I know what you mean.Also, "ZedEx" is cute. :)And youre not stupid.', 'The magic words you want to do searches on is "sliding scale" (which basically means "payment will be adjusted based on what you can afford")Try to find some psychiatrists or therapists that offer sliding scale treatment.And Common cold office? Just to verify, do you mean that figuratively or literally?', '\\*hugs\\* I can understand you might not want people to see you the way youre feeling, but it might still be good for you. But maybe get cleaned up a bit, get some real food into you, maybe get some sleep. (Do you think if you went to bed at, say, 3am and let yourself wake up late, youd be able to have a good nights sleep?)And yeah, I know what thats like about needed to know someones there. I think the scared alone thing might be a type of loneliness though. At least, so it seems to me, though I might be wrong.', 'Hey, you there?', 'What should I do? Seriously... I want to help, but I honestly dont know what to do, what to look for, what to say.dammit... Anyone know how to find him?', 'Huh? why not?', 'Hey, Im not sure what to suggest yet, just letting you know Im here and listening, and suggesting not to lose hope.If you are able to, upon consideration, spot that some of your behaviors make you bad/mean, then you could perhaps learn to change those?', 'Thought you yourself had told me so.', 'Ugh. Im not sure what to say, but I am here and listening. Well certainly be here for the Asthenia.', 'Well, if youre up for talking about it, how do those make things worse?And yeah, keep practicing by chatting here, as a start, if that helps.', 'Aww. Either way, I am here and I care. Not sure right now what to say, but am here.', 'Well, even if theyre different, they should still accept that you are how you are. Maybe they might want to help, but to simply give you a hard time about it and stuff is a whole other thing.Anyways, howre you today?', '\\*nods\\* I guess that kind of makes sense, but as you noted, its only been a Asthenia now, so maybe snuggling up with a good book or such would be enough to help you relax and fall asleep once you get used to it?And what sorts of stuff you like to read? (just curious)', 'Any idea what changed? And is there any stuff in specific on your mind, or is it "just" (yes, I know "just" is the wrong word, really, but not sure what other word to use) the feeling of Depression without any specific things youre Depression about?', 'no prob.', 'Well then, while it wont solve everything, you right now know part of the problem. So dont panic, just take a normal course load next semester.Is there other stuff currently on your mind too, incidentally?', 'Hey, Im not sure what to say yet, but wanted you to know I read this and am listening.\\*offers a hug\\*Do you think there might be some way for you to arrange to see your daughter even given that you and your girlfriend are taking a pause in your relationship?Im not sure what else to say, but am listening.', 'Okie. Will looksey in a moment.And good that youre good at dealing with the sugar spike and such.(But yeah, if youre continuing to feel icky, maybe get to doc)', 'Im sorry it hurts so much. :(Please dont give up.I stand by my offer if you want to give me the relevant contact info, incidentally.', 'Good. (Am listening if you still need to talk, though). Am glad youre doing better, and no prob.', 'The fact that we are nothing more that a particular regularity in physics does not make us not-special. The mere fact that were made of perfectly ordinary stuff doesnt strip us of value.Yes, our existence is "just" a physical process. So?You are not a "slave" to your experiences as much as you are (in part) your experiences.> I have to state again, if I arent deciding, then randomness is, so where is the free will?I think youre confusing me with another commenter. Im saying that _you_ are deciding. Let me phrase it this way: "The part of physics that is my brain is controlling it" = "I am controlling it"Dont think of the physics as some distant tyrant "forcing" you to choose a certain way. "Physics controls it" includes stuff like "my thoughts, feelings, preferences, evaluations of outcomes, etc, lead to my decision"... Again, Thou Art Physics. Its not some alien thing thats controlling you.To use the analogy from the article, "I am not deciding, the physical processes in my brain are doing so" is like saying "my hand isnt picking up the object, just my fingers, thumb, palm are"... or even worse, "my fingers, thumb, and palm are forcing my hand to pick it up"(Seriously, if you didnt read the Thou Art Physics thing, do so. It will help clarify what Im saying. Also note the different diagrams. Its not you vs physics. Its simply physics, which also contains you.)> W

Supportive

user-62

['Well, at least you dont seem Suicidal except for that "catastrophic" dead end at the end of your post about gassing yourself. Id say do something daring. It seems like youre the kind of guy who has nothing to loose at this point but are unwilling to (due to laziness?) I think you might want to take a break from your GF due to financial reasons since both of you are at your limits. Dont let the world get to you though. There are plenty of places to work at as the poster above said, as a truck driver. I wish I could offer you more advice; but, try and look at your present situation in some positive light as hard as that sounds (since youre posting here). I mean you *literally* have nothing to loose (other than your own life if you decide its pointless, which it is not). Hope the best to you brotha, and keep on fighting. ', 'Hey there,I dont think you are in immediate danger and are simply Worried about having passive death wishes. I would not call it suicide ideation, at least not from what Ive gathered from your post. You do seem to indicate that you have battled with moderate Depression since a while ago. You give the impression that you are still ambitious and have goals in life to accomplish. Dont take my word for it; but, I think youve had a hard year and sorta hate your job. There are plenty of other jobs out there and you can always go back to college in the future. It will take time; but, given the amount of strength and resilience you have shown, I think you can pull it off. I wish I could be of more assistance. Have you considered talking with a professional? All medications arent evil and if youve been having these feeling of Feeling hopeless for a while, a professional could help. EDIT: After re-reading your post I think you are a little too hard on yourself. You dont sounds like a whiny brat at all. I dont know who told you that; but, thats not the impression I get from you.Best regards.', 'Are you in immediate danger, whats bothering you? It might be that theyre really swamped with phone calls. Some people need the help while others dont need it that much. Youre not alone. Do you have friends or family you can call? ', 'Whats bothering you? You didnt indicate it in this thread. Have you been planning or thinking about suicide? Just take things one step at a time. Dont over-stress yourself with trifle matters. It still Sunday and you can always call your friends or family for any advice and help you may need.', 'I wish you posted more on what lead you all the way to the tracks to kill yourself. Im also not that happy with life; but, never actively sought out a way out. Please let me know, whats bothering you? How did things get the way they are? Hope to lend an ear on this lonely Valentines day.Best regards.', 'The good point is youre still here and made it this far. I dont want this to be a "feel good" post since Im not good at those and this is my first time trying to give advice. In the end its your choice if you want to live or not and given that youve tried in the past and havent succeeded means that there is still some part of you that wants to pull through. You mentioned that you have best friends. Thats great, better than myself. Im also Depression and sometimes think life is some hellish thing to just get by with. Personally, Ive found the book, "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" to be the best thing Ive found with helping me deal with pessimistic thoughts and feelings of Feeling hopeless. It really made a positive impact on my life so far and I try and read it even when Im apathetic and unmotivated. Some people are just lucky, while we have to struggle. Such is life. Hope to hear from you soon.']

Ideation

user-135

['Its also stupid reading all the people who think its stupid. It just confirms it for me in a broad spectrum type of way, that, yeah, its stupid...And?The world is a blank canvas and it literally is what you make it. Thats what that shit is a cliche because it is 100% true. ', 'There are so many reasons why he wouldnt want to let people know. Your mind could go off in so many tangents trying to figure it out, but the most disturbing thing is that youll never know. The thing that should bring peace though is that hell never have to deal with what was bothering him now.', 'Ive grown to accept that Im just an asshole and I take criticisms like water off a ducks back, then just do things the way I would normally do them.Someone confronts me, I apologize and move on. Ive just accepted that I have to bend over backwards sometimes just to kiss someones ass. Thats just the way the world works, man.', 'Jiu Jitsu, listen to Joe Rogans podcast. He goes off about it. Get that Aggression out and if you get good, you walk around so peaceful and nice because you know that at any given moment, you could choke anyone who you want to unconscious. Thats the name of the Jiu Jitsu game. Its a huge ego booster for those that have none. ', 'Maybe consider a job in sales. I dont know, I dont claim to have the answer to end your sorrow, Im sorry. ', 'Bullys can fuck themselves. They cant affect me. Thats my standpoint on it now. I havent been bullied since I stopped playing the victim. I have been degraded by people though, but it didnt get to me. I weighed the value of their opinion. The one who insulted me is going nowhere in their future so that was my instant karma and I felt better.', 'I went to one trial class that my friend gave me coupon for, dude and just from that, I met like 4 awesome, energized, friendly people who treated me like we were bros for months already. That was back when I was Suicidal. I would go back in a second but I cant afford the $140/month fee though...But since then Ive developed this attitude that everything in my world I can control and change in a matter of minutes if I needed to and the past, the past is behind me and never coming back.And girls get hired SO MUCH faster than guys, you dont even know. You dont even need to be attractive. ', 'I have had Suicidal thoughts in the past, and have justified it in my mind. The Suicidal person doesnt feel bad for the people he is hurting. He thinks that maybe now, finally, he will get the attention he has thought he has always deserved in death. I just wanted to clear this up for people who think people who commit suicide are selfish (they may or may not be. My point, is the Suicidal person has it justified in their mind). ', 'Where do you live? Im in California.']

Ideation

user-128

['Im grateful, and I saw your post just now but figured Id mention it here. Im grateful youll give it another day, truly. Although Id ask you for ten years just as readily. I saw the whole landscape of the reality that pushed her to the edge change in the last decade. I cant say itd have been perfect, but things we thought could never ever happen for us is now a reality... But only for me. ', 'Sometimes when folks feel empty theyll eat more. Sorry youre not feeling well though. Does anyone in your life know you feel this way?', 'Traffic. My best friend stepped into traffic. She had a long struggle herself with addiction. Im still bummed every day shes not here. I wish her kids had gotten to know her. I remember the kid who hit her, in some ugly twist of irony I met him years later. It was a small town. He was absolutely crushed, and he could have died. I hear you, I hear youre in Pain. Addiction can seem like such a black hole and many programs forget to teach people to hope that one day theyd wake up and feel OK, find a new normal. It takes a lot of work and cooperation but its been known to happen. Although it sounds like youre self medicating the Pain.If youre on antidepressants Im assuming you have a doctor. Have you ever looked at other options? ', 'Generally if youd call the insurance company they can give you a list of providers. If youd like to talk to someone, then itd likely be beneficial for you.', 'Thats not how it works, though. Its poisoning. Slow organ failure, Pain stuff. Its ugly. Theres another thread just today from someone who is sitting in a diaper because their overdose made them incontinent. I cant think of a pill that would have you peacefully drift off, or even kill you outright. But, aside from that. Why Tuesday?', 'Being intelligent can be isolating, as you seem to be fully aware. Trouble is, most folks think that theyre more isolated than they truly are while theyre in school, or go off to college in search of other folks who think like them only to discover that college is more about following directions than having one of your own. Trouble is, in looking for someone to talk to about existential crises or the nature of existence or whether or not fish have feelings you miss out on the wisdom everyone has. If you listen closely enough, I feel as though everyone has an experience worth learning from. These big questions, theyre riddles and koans and designed to keep your mind hyperactive. Learn to meditate, allowing thoughts to pass unheeded is great for Anxiety and can slow the spiraling out processes. Do something youre unfamiliar with. Learn art or music or anything you currently dont know how to do, itll challenge your mind and give you a sense of fulfillment. Sometimes being intelligent you miss out on the opportunity to learn how to work hard. When information comes easily it can be difficult to learn the patience necessary to teach yourself new things. In the meantime the internet is full of people that can talk to you about whatever obscure concept may be rattling around in your brain. Wanting not to think, I hear you. But what you have is more gift than curse, ultimately. It just takes a lot of taming, and giving your brain more to do can help. Relaxation techniques and exercise can help to focus your thoughts. ', 'I understand youre scared but there are a lot of factors here. It sounds like youre Anxiety so dont forget to breathe. But whats going on man? Sound like you used a condom and theres steps between a positive pregnancy test and you having a baby so while this is clearly overwhelming, it sounds like youre jumping ahead in the script a bit. Also, and I hope it never gets there, but youre referring to these pills and I cant help but discourage that. Its a Pain way to go and could Tired easily not kill you and damage your organs. So, maybe start thinking about other ways you could avoid an uncomfortable situation? ', 'I did some research. Theres not much available in Colombia, although there are many relief programs from America that are doing work there. I wasnt able to find a phone number for any of them, however. Im wondering if youd be able to call a local number and ask what resources might be available for food, at least. I dont know if you have any space to grow food either. ', 'Stay vigilant, call the crisis line there and ask if there is a mental heath advocacy group you could get in touch with, or a social service that could help you secure proper treatment and housing. Keep looking for assistance until you find some. Im sorry that you reached out and ended up in less capable Weakness of hand then you needed, but I have faith that there are folks who could help if they knew your situation, and you just need to get in contact with them.', 'Thanks man. So, honestly, a family doctor is where youd wanna start. Same folks youd go to for a Influenza or whatever. Tell them about your Stress levels, and they might have a few options for you. If you have insurance and no doctor, take a gander at the back of your insurance card for a number and call them. Doctors are experienced with this stuff, and it sounds like a rather extreme reaction to life Stress, and Anxiety can be treated any number of ways. The rest of it, itll pass. Theres no way to know even if your worst Fear comes about and theres a child that you wouldnt be a kickass Dad with a kid you loved. Nobodys ever ready to be a parent, having a child MAKES you ready and willing to be a parent. Even still, thats pretty unlikely from what youve said so maybe youll have some time to remember to establish better communication with anyone you choose to be sexually active with.', 'Can I ask what country youre residing in? Im sorry for how things are going, your sister may be looking to cope with her own problems, but maybe talk to her and see how she feels. People say things they dont really mean sometimes.Losing a loved one to suicide is Pain, so it sounds like your family is Worried, so they might really care.People rarely annoy us if we dont care about them, wed just ignore it.I dont know what services are available where you live for medical care and money issues, it sounds like theres a lot of Pressure though, maybe theres a local church? Churches can be Tired helpful for those in need and pastors willing to talk. I dont normally advocate this and I dont know what might come of it, but r/assistance might be interested in your story, and may be able to put you in touch with donors who may help with food. Theres no guarantees, and I dont know what youd need to have to receive donations, but its there for a reason. Definitely look to a church or united way or any assistance organizations in your area.', 'Caffeine?? Youll be terrified. Theres no peace in that, just terror and then your heart explodes.', 'Yes, overdosing hurts and makes you Tired Illness. Im glad you at least shared this fact with folks here. Look, this could save your life. This trip could change everything around, just be open, be honest, and see if you cant find a way to a new normal.', 'Stopping any medication on your own without doctors supervision is dangerous. Definitely get in contact with your doctor and see if you can open up lines of communication to look more closely at your options if youre uncomfortable taking that medication. Observations like the one you shared can also be important for your doctor to know how to best help you, in the meantime maybe youd enjoy looking through a philosophy subreddit? It looks like youve got an interesting view on the world and theres a lot of places thats always welcome.', 'And in the future, its not just about having sex with folks you love, that can help for sure. But make sure you have sex with folks you can discuss feelings like this with. If youre not ready to be a father, take extra precautions and only sleep with someone who also doesnt want to have a child. As it stands, thatll be her choice down to the last minute, but opening up that line of communication before you have sex can help save you some Stress. ', 'This sounds a lot like Excessive upper gastrointestinal gas lighting, and as a therapist she should be familiar with the concept. Now, its difficult because Im only hearing one side of this but she certainly shouldnt be diagnosing you without full information.', 'Thats a good start then, if her folks didnt care about you I dont think theyd open their home to you. They might seem detached, but its a big deal to let someone into your home. Sorry about the abusive step dad, that sucks, just be a better dad. Five months along, hope everythings healthy. Im sure your girlfriend cares about the father of her child, but shes likely going through a lot as well right now and it can be hard to express that. I hope you stick around, having a child opens up a whole new world.', 'Heeeyyy? You alive? ', 'Damn. Thats pretty brutal man, Im glad youre in a more stable place now.', 'Sorry youre not feeling well, but I can hear the fight in you. It seems like youve got a lot of heart. Keep up with your therapists, and never be afraid to tell someone when things get grim like that. If it gets real, dont be afraid to take big steps to get the best results. Inpatient stays can be a huge intervention, its designed to turn things around in hopes of finding a new normal. Stay vigilant and youll get through this. ', 'Look, I think we can all agree that the modern school system is not educational. I was bored, beyond bored. But, at your age I started playing music. School was purely, and will remain, ancillary. And thats, totally OK, but aborting your potential is not. I can tell youre bright, and existential crisis and general disillusionment is a pretty common side effect of being pretty damn bright. But youre smart enough to figure out a way to see school as merely a means to an end. If I judged the value of my life by the amount of personal freedom I had I wouldnt be able to do much. I dont have my health, as such I dont have much scratch.But what I do have is a mind to do whatever I feel like doing alongside whatever I need to do to maintain a societal status quo. Learn to play the game, if you learned stocks youll learn this in a hot minute. Itll be worth it. Get in there, kick ass in school, find something outside of school you love doing/researching, and get a scholarship and let them pay you to do whatever you want. Now, at the same time, nobodys saying you have to do any of it. Once youre an adult you can move to a Buddhist temple or live in a grass hut somewhere and never deal with society much at all if you want.Im here to assure you that the construct youre feeling oppressed by is merely that, and many people live outside of that construct. Nobody says you have to work, have to use money, have to get a degree... You dont.But a degree will make it possible to get an easy job, easy money, easy housing... And trust me, you dont want to be hungry. Work with your school, work with your parents. Theyre right, the homeschooling yourself doesnt work, and youd be depriving yourself of the opportunity to take the easiest path through life, and dropping out... If you really want to, I still hope you dont. I feel like finding someone you can talk to would be the best though, someone who can understand where youre coming from, and a PhD in psych tends to be a pretty smart person. This life is only one of hundreds youre gonna have between now and 30, Id rather be 80 than 13 again, honestly, but my perception changed and widened overtime. Im pretty creative and I still couldnt have conceptualized the life Im living now when I was 13. Also, your method... No, just no dude, even just attempting it you could brain damage/paralyze yourself. ', 'That sucks, have you talked to your girlfriend since? She could have been concerned, just wanted to make sure you were looking. Not having your own place can be a bummer so maybe she just was hoping for the best. How far along is she? Does she live with her folks? If you dont mind answering, how old are you?And I hear you, sometimes I feel like folks care but have no idea what to say. It can be an alien state of mind to try and reach out to and many dont feel like its their place.', 'Thats Tired kind of you, and as an American this is a situation Im not too familiar with, its pretty heartbreaking, and youre clearly an incredibly strong person. Really though, Id go check that assistance subreddit I suggested and tell your story. There are generous people there who may be able to help you directly, or get you in touch with local groups. Are there other ways youd be able to work to get money? ', 'Facebook can really be a drag. Its not genuine though, folks present their public faces there and edit it to suit that purpose. Its OK to be antisocial, but it sounds more like you could pare down the friends until youre investing your time in people worthwhile. Fake friends are as draining as enemies because it makes social interactions seem forced. Ive only ever had a few close friends over my lifetime, and I dont regret that, I regret the time I wasted fostering friendships that really werent worthwhile. I realized a little too late though that as uncomfortable I was around people, they generally were equally uncomfortable, so I just tried to learn to put folks as ease and open up more where I could.', 'Hey man, I feel ya. I know a breakup can be rough as hell, and your actions arent too uncommon. Its natural to have a level of insecurity there, and there are a lot of great resources online for breaking that kind of pattern. Your ex may be feeling pretty emotionally Asthenia too right now, but its easier to reconnect with someone after youre feeling better. Its more likely they would talk to you later, if you give them some space, than never talk to you again. But, even if that were the case, youll have the opportunity to forge so many new connections in your life, so the important thing is to learn how to maintain them. Its OK to feel this way, but learning better how to cope with those feelings could take a lot of weight off your shoulders. I used to do the same thing, and would frequently look to my partners to validate me, and supplement my self confidence. It strained my relationships, because theyd feel as though nothing theyd do was enough. Ive also been on the receiving end, and it hurts to feel as though I didnt make someone feel loved enough, and for them to threaten to end a relationship because of it, even when I was doing my best. Communication, and learning how to self validate and be positive about yourself is huge. I dont know you, but Im sure theres something you do well and take pride in, thats a great place to start. As for the Ritalin, that much could lead to a heart attack, but more likely would lead to organ damage. In some cases of organ damage youd become incontinent, and need to wear diapers. So, please dont go. Theres a lot of life left for you, try and see if you can patch up the relationship with yourself, then new relationships can be formed, maybe even a friendship with your ex.The damage you did to your relationship with your friend sounds like it could be helped. Itd take a lot of work, learning to break the pattern and establishing a new friendship with them, but I know that a little bit of progress made a big difference in my experience. It takes practice, but its worth it. Try and empathize with them and know theyre likely not doing anything to be vindictive, merely ruby to protect themselves. Its OK to feel vulnerable. While I have no intention of diagnosing you, and those feelings and actions alone dont mean you are borderline, the actions youre describing are common in those with borderline personality disorder, and there are a lot of online resources for learning to break those kinds of habits if youd search for *borderline personality disorder relationship coping skills*. ', 'Would you, though? Even if, for whatever reason, she decided not to abort, not to put a child up for adoption, would you truly "not take care of" a child? Many folks understand when someone does the best they can, and folks whod give you grief for trying just arent worth it. But besides that, Ive met a few folks who had serious Anxiety every time they had sex, whether they used a condom or not. Thats usually because theyre not aware of just how effective condoms can be. Provided you used it properly, it stayed intact and didnt break, condoms are pretty darn effective. Have you talked to her? Also, youre only giving it a few weeks? Stress, activity, normal fluctuations etc can make a period late, or even cause a missed one or two. It seems to me the problem here isnt so much pregnancy as it is your Stress level about it. Have you ever told a doctor about the panic? ', 'I think sometimes folks have a natural inclination to look at how others lives unfold and think ours should as well. Theres a lot of things considered normal that I may never do or have. According to most, I may never work or go back to school again, and without a job Ill likely never have the money to establish much independence. I havent had what some would consider a normal life for the country I live in, or many of the small privileges its common to take for granted. But Im happy, or at least feel privileged to be able to do what I am able to. Ive focused my life on relationships and never give up on hope that I may be able to live out a few dreams one day. Theres a lot of ways to live. In the meantime, contact local services and try and get some shelter, youll be able to think more clearly then. After that anything youd like to do, with enough planning, you would be able to start working towards. If nothing seems to fit, maybe you could just start driving. Ive met some wonderful people while traveling around and it changed my perspective on what it meant to be a "have not" in a society where much worth is based on the things you have. Youre a worthwhile person, no matter what your limitations or set backs may be and no matter what other folks may think of you. You still have kindness to offer so long as you draw breath.', 'Youre reaching out though and that takes courage. Even if its just explaining your reality, youre getting somewhere. What direction would you most prefer to go from here? How was your afternoon?', 'You alright man? Its just that its not a decision I want to make, and its not a solution I want to consider as my only possibility. There have been times it seemed that way, Im fortunate now to look back on it as a mistake. I understand many dont get to that point. But if I stopped looking for other options Id never find them. So its more thought experiment than anything. Even if I dont believe its not the answer, I look for others. I cant speak from anything but personal experience and others arent me. Thats just how Ive survived, and I hope that folks who post on here are, even a little bit, hoping to survive.', 'I dont believe anyones inherently evil, and mental Illness isnt necessarily something wrong, but something different, with whole fields of study and professional resources available. Sometimes folks just learn ways to cope with Pain that cause more Pain, and its important to look closely at those behaviors and replace them with better ones. Pain is something everyone has to learn to deal with at some point. Dont allow things to escalate further, Im glad youre considering professional help. One thing I know off the top of my head is that Emotional upset Pain, compulsive behavior (like wanting to talk to someone when youre going through a breakup and trying not to) is easily confused with feelings of anger, hunger, loneliness, sleepiness, and needing to use the bathroom. All those situations can cause Anxiety and Depression without us even knowing thats whats actually wrong. Also, keeping a journal can help you recognize patterns and triggers for different behaviors and negative coping skills. Meditation, light exercise, and any kind of artistic expression can help a lot and greatly reduce Stress. Keeping your blood sugar regulated can be huge as well. Its important when youre going through a hard time to try and do what you can treat your body well. Best of luck', 'Hey, how was your day? Are you alright? I know that hospitals can be pretty bad sometimes but there are some great mental health professionals out there. And please, dont take a bunch of meds at once. Theres a real potential for organ damage and death, but its more likely youd survive but have health complications after that.', 'Nah man, its up to you to handle your own stuff. Its just good of you to think of others. The folks at the hospital are going to try and keep you healthy. Even if it seems harsh or Common cold and clinical if what you need is a hug, they might have best intentions in mind. Im glad you have access to the internet, many end up cut off from all communication. Can I ask why you dont feel like eating though?', 'Oh man, feels. Have you talked to them recently? I guess you dont think yall would get back together eventually?', 'Ugh that hit me straight in the gut. I had an ex get together with a mutual friend as well... But we eventually did get back together. Thats all a matter of circumstance and stuff. Still though, do you think reaching out to them would help?', 'Yeah man, instruments are self taught, self expression tools and they can take you places youd never think youd go normally. Especially since you linked the Wall in the OP.', 'Hard to say if it would apply to your situation, but Ive know some professors to be pretty understanding about mental health stuff. One extended due dates, etc. But aside from that, even if you didnt do as well as youd like to on your finals this semester, youd be able to pull your grades up in the future, and Ive had experiences where Ive been able to explain dips in my grades personally on applications etc, and found there are many understanding folks out there. I dont know if youre in treatment, or if anyone knows youre having a difficult time, but if you ever chose to see a doctor most schools have programs to make allowances (forgiveness for missed classes, extended due dates), for those with mental health concerns. Its something I wish had existed when I was in school and Ive seen it take a lot of Stress out the equation for some. ', '... Ugly bit of business. My best friend killed themselves a few years back. Honestly, if youre in a position where your friend expresses a plan to kill themselves, dont take it upon yourself to decide whether or not theyre serious. The most direct form of intervention is generally an involuntary committal. If its ever necessary, and its a matter of life and death, youre able to intervene at that level. I know that when it came to my friend I would have done whatever I could to prevent their death, even if they hated me for it at the time, even if they thought the hospital would do more harm than good it interrupts the downward spiral and puts them in contact with professionals who can help. Other than that, just be a good friend. Theres nothing you can really do.', 'Sorry about that, I didnt mean to imply the drugs themselves were responsible. Im sure with many its just a chicken and egg scenario, the Pain is there, drugs dull the Pain for them but sometimes just enough to not have to deal with the original problem. Sorting out the Pain that started it all can be a seriously crazy puzzle though. What would you like to be doing right now though, other than getting smacked out of your mind?', 'It takes a lot of strength to reach out though. How was your day today?', 'Hard to say really. If mental Illness is caused by a chemical imbalance itd be on par with altered states from other chemicals, (drinking, illicit drugs, etc.), its certainly not a state one should be making life ending decisions in. Now, not all suicides are caused by mental Illness, and Im not certain all mental Illness is caused by chemical imbalance. But, if mental illnesses is a disease is should be treated as one. ', 'Have you talked to a doctor about options for withdrawal meds? Could make it possible to keep working, no detox required for many of them. Its a possibility and Ive known some folks who were in a similar situation and had success that way.', 'It sounds like it must be Tired difficult for you. It seems like youre disappointed with the situation. Do you see any possibilities that could help things settle into a new normal over time?', 'It sounds like theres a husband and family who cares about you, a home, and a fair bit to be grateful for so focusing on that probably can help when youre down. But in periods of upheaval its definitely good to check in with your doctor and friends to see what options and solutions you can come up with, and to take some of the power away from the things you cant create solutions for.', 'Yeah theres definitely a lot to consider there. Treatment isnt confined to pills alone, youre right. But at any rate, theres answers other than suicide. Perhaps suicide itself isnt a just product of faulty signals in the brain, but its also not a solution. I dont blame those overtaken by the urges, but I do wish Suicidal tendencies were treated as the life threatening issues they are and treatment, whatever form that may take, made available with the same standard of care there is for physical diseases. More research needs to be done, but I dont see suicide as a decision, I see it as a symptom of an overarching concern that has many complex components.', 'Ya know, George RR. Martin said the winds of winter would come out before the next TV season, so you should totally stick around.', 'Theres a lot of truth here and its kind of you to voice it publicly in a place where so many feel as though nobody cares. Just be mindful of the Emotional upset load you carry with you, take care of yourself and make sure you dont take on more than you can healthily.', 'I guess nobody can answer that but yourself in the end. Are you by yourself right now? ', 'Im thankful enough to not be struggling at the moment, I lost a friend to suicide and like to listen if folks need to talk.', 'I hear ya. Did anything specifically make that feeling more pronounced to you lately? And youre in school? Thats pretty cool. What are you going to school for?', 'Im sorry to hear that. Its good you said something though. Im pretty Worried about you taking 20 pills though man it sounds gruesome.', 'Theres a thread a few posts down of folks relating their experiences of losing a loved one to suicide Id encourage you to check out.', 'No problem. And no matter what Im excited for you. Even if the unthinkable happens and theres no gf or child in your imminent future, you have health and youth and time on your side right now and where there is life there is hope. This experience will give you the compassion to be there for someone else when they feel like nobody cares. ', 'I feel ya. Its good that youve reached out though. Some folks dont know what to say, Im not sure anyone really does but at least they know. Have you considered looking into treatment options?', 'Do you have any personal philosophy? Faith? For many, thats where theyll derive their motivation. I dont base the value of my life on college or a job. I see myself as part of a greater whole. The part I play is small, but all great systems are built upon smaller parts. And humans can feel, humans have this incredible range of emotion and experience to add to the universe and relate to one another. It ultimately wont matter what you do, focus on who you are. People will remember kindness over cruelty, courage over bravery, compassion over clout. Focus on the small details. Nature doesnt strive, it simply thrives. Find a niche where you can do the same. ', 'Id go to the hospital for a broken leg or an infection. Treatment is treatment and if youre Depression its a step in the right direction. Have you weighed your options there? Treatment isnt compulsory, doctors work alongside you to try and find the best fit. There isnt a cure for Depression, but there are ways to manage it and letting someone know can open you up to the resources available. ', 'Its really important that you both get professional help (if you believe youre a danger to yourself). You cant stop someone from killing themselves, and what youre experiencing sounds like it is Emotional upset blackmail, she may be in Pain, and its good that youre compassionate, but you have to take care of yourself and protect yourself. Things can escalate Tired quickly in situations, when someone uses threats to provoke action on anothers part, they tend to do more and more extreme things until they get what they want. As long as you keep responding to the threat yourself, without getting a professional who can actually help involved youre hurting yourself and it will prolong the time before there is adequate care for the condition. If she threatens suicide, please call either her parents, or yours, and your local crisis hotline. It can not be up to you to determine whether or not shes serious. I really wish you the best, please get yourself out of the abusive situation. Youll be able to resume a relationship if things get better later, but right now its really important for both of your sakes that you tell someone immediately. Id even suggest cutting off contact for a while after getting her in touch with the help she needs. This kind of behavior needs privacy to escalate, when others get involved the chances are better of everyone coming out OK. If you need any help dont hesitate to PM me, Ive gone through situations like this before, and there are no appropriate half measures here. Reassurance only goes so far, and the threats only get worse. Its extremely unlikely that theyd calm down on their own. I dont doubt you care Tired much for one another, but this kind of behavior is destructive for everyone involved and poison to a relationship.', 'Who do you think will find you later then? You said youre psychotic about your ex? Breakups are shitty, for sure. ', 'I tend not to bring it up. I dont mean to guilt trip or devalue others Pain, but this is my truth. I imagine she thought I didnt care as well, no call, no outreach. But, here I am. Ya know? In Pain those who would try and reach us fade into those dark shadows. It doesnt mean theyre not there.', 'That stuff can certainly suck the color out of the world. Valium is pretty insidious. Starts out being an emergency parachute, eventually it feels like a lifeline. When I came off of it, I felt like I was seeing the world in color for the first time. I understand antidepressants being difficult to figure out, but if youre Depression the doctor might have other options.Oh, and Happy Birthday! Sorry I didnt add that earlier.', 'To be honest if you havent already accrued college debt thats fantastic, youre way ahead of the game. Talk to your folks and your professor to see what youre able to do, and a college advisor. Theyd likely have more options available. Its easy for Stress to obscure options available.', 'Its important for a psych doc to have a lot of information before a diagnosis can be made, and self diagnosis is generally not a great idea, but the resources are all about building good coping skills, and that can benefit anyone.', 'Theres nothing else like it. Its a constant Illness feeling that I could have and should have done something to prevent it. Even when I say I dont feel the guilt, that I know its not my fault its still there. I often wish theyd been open to treatment, gone through some until they found something that worked. Angry that the system in place scares so many away, kills as many as it helps with that. Constant survivors guilt for living with an Illness that claimed them, through life circumstances that destroyed them. Retroactive helplessness when I hear her pleas repeated over and over by new voices with new stories. Hope that in her last moments she didnt regret it, because it was Pain. And I pass the spot her body laid broken every time I go home. Id encourage folks to think better of it. Its been nearly a decade now, Ive grown older than she ever will. I just hope she cant see how foolish she was, ultimately. Things would have been OK if shed held on a bit longer, without question.', 'Youre certainly not ugly but it might be of some use to stop thinking of people as levels of attractiveness. Personality makes a huge difference, and its likely that the people you attract are not a reflection of your physical self, but who you draw to you with your personality. Dont be too hard on yourself and try not to be so hard

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['By all means do. When you feel Hyperactive behavior talking you always reply, Hyperactive behavior, you said what she felt for you in the past but you havent talked about how you feel for her, or what did you told her when she finally called, or even what you felt when she called. Were you angry? Relieved?Just clear your head. I bet you are feeling really bad right now. Take a shower and go to bed. That has always helped me in the past. ', 'I cant really tell you anything to help you cope with loneliness. Even at my darkest I never felt lonely, although I was very much alone (it was a narcissistic thing, I isolated my self from others and used it as an excuse to justify me not being able to connect properly with people or form meaningful relationships). Thats out of my league. But about the failure part... I feel you. Being a unaccomplished person can be hard. And the more you fail the harder it gets. I still feel Hyperactive behavior shit when I fail. Even at little things, its sort of a thing that had carried on from the past. What worked for me is a small change of mindset. Even the smallest of victories, enjoy them. Take baby steps. The sun is falling and Im still clean. Today I got up a little earlier. I didnt Crying Reflex, Abnormal today. It sounds kinda silly and even a little sad, but it really helps you know? The accomplishments really do Attention Deficit Disorder up, even if you feel Hyperactive behavior its pointless when you fail again. Maybe youll even get to this part. Its a quote from another redditor. It was from a thread asking what small feat they were proud of. Someone said:Every fucking little thing I do:"Damn, that was an amazing omelette, I rock""shit im good at tying my shoelaces""fuck, i only hit snooze twice today, I must be some kind of deity"It made me smile you know? Thats a fantastic mindset. I cant really feel *that* happy or exited about the little things. I honestly try you know? It works! When I feel Hyperactive behavior complete shit on my way home from work I straight my back and remember myself of how fucking awesome I am. And even if you know its a lie. Do it. Lie to you self. Believe that lie. It will slowly make you a better a person and then it wont be a lie anymore. My personal is to be Hyperactive behavior that guy tho hahaDamn must be nice....Another thing that helps is having a clear goal. When I feel Hyperactive behavior Im a total disappointment I sort of day dream about my future. Have an impossible dream. One so large and distant even uttering it will come up as a joke. But its no joke. Every single step no matter how small you take, is progress. Be happy to have made it. That is the most important thing. That saved me, actually. I wont really talk about my dream, its the most personal thing about me, I dont feel ready to share it. But my other two goals are to become FUCKING AWESOME at the guitar and learning 30 FUCKING LANGUAGES. Ahh... It do feels better thinking about it. You know? Im a complete DISASTER at either of them. Im self learning both. No classes or teacher or anything. Im just a failure at guitar, it took me months to learn a single song and not even a hard one, but hey, I learned it. I fucking learned it yeah!! And the languages... Fuck! They are so hard!! But baby steps you know? Ill take them. I know one more word today. I *accomplished* something. I think its the daydreaming that helps the most. It really makes you want to reach those goals. I have the stupidest grin when I think about the day Im a some random place and there is a foreigner and the dont speak the local language, I talk to them in their own language to ::perfection:: and then someone comes to me and says "Wow, you know German?" And I go"Yeah... I know German... And French.... And Dutch and Portuguese and Russian and Japanese and Korean and Spanish and Italian and..." Goals man, they do that to do. They make you look forward to the future. Even if you are a loser. One day, even one faaar in the distance. One day you will have something. A real accomplishment. It may be a diploma, a studio album, international fame; what ever. The point is that its yours. ', 'I squinted my eyes... I was expecting a horrible monster. Someone with horrible deformations. The comments are more than enough proof. You are good looking. You ugliness is only in you eyes. In you mind. You can get rid of it. ', 'Why yes, I think about this everytime I feel Depressed mood and/or sad. How laughably small motes we are in the vastness of existence. Then I remember that one thing I simply must do. You should find one too! I wont say what mine is because its a stupid and foolish little dream, but hey! Thats what keep me going. The fuel that powers the little engine that is my body :)Havent really lurked much in here so I hope I didnt went against the rules of the community by speaking in this manner!', 'Im new here, but I think the main purposeof this subreddit is to discourage people from suicide, not helping them do it. You are already here, talk about it. Why do you want to die? How often do you think about killing yourself? Is there nothing in the life you could possibly want?', 'Please do! Your "tried" and "goodbye"... I thought you were really going to it. If anything bad happens later this place is always open for advice. ', 'What is suicidal ideation? How do you ask this?', 'Wow... You are just Hyperactive behavior me. I Irritable Mood seriously. I felt as if those words were typed by my hand. My hand from years ago. Growing up I didnt had much access to technology Hyperactive behavior I do now so I really would have downloaded an app but I did set a date. Hey! Would you guess what was the date? Exactly a year ago. (Well, a year and 6 days to be exact)Talk to me. You say theres nothing to fix, and it really is scary how much you sound Hyperactive behavior me, but theres pleeenty of room for growth. You can always better yourself. You dont have to tell me how much time is Ventricular Dysfunction, Left on the timer if you dont want to. But please do say, why do you want to die? What was the shit that went down?', 'I wonder how was the day when this happened to me, I have forgotten but I really wished I remember. You can do it. Those thought will probably be there waiting for the rest of you life but you can become strong, so strong that they will become nothing more than a reminder of those times when you were sad, a reminder of how you pulled through that. ', 'I feel suicidal almost every time Im genuinely sad. When I feel Feeling despair and feel Hyperactive behavior its pointless. Actually, it is pointless, and that depresses me, I just have to take it. But you know, I have never before in my entire life ever looked to the future so brightly. A goal.Look, I dont really know about other people, I barely know myself. But everytime I feel in a "fuck every single thing in this world" or "Im done" mentality, I always think about my dream. And not reaching it is something that for me is simple not possible. It gives me a drive to life Hyperactive behavior nothing else in this world. Yeah, its really comforting not having to Anxiety about things, but life is really worth living when you Anxiety about the *right* things. ', 'You meant you grew up? I kinda also felt the same. I remember sometimes I would sit in a corner all night in complete darkness reminiscing the point of it all. There was a dumb sense of superiority in that I was the one who saw the truth and everyone else was blind. That I could fool everyone into thinking that everything was fine and dandy. I honestly had nothing going on for me back then, i wont go into too much detail because it was still not that far back and I dont want to go back into that mindset. I still run away from it. I had made a promise to me back then, I feel really scary shivers as I write this because I still vividly remember it. It was a bad time for me. But hey, time that promise has long since past. Actually a few days back I turned 19 so just over a year actually. Im really glad I found a point to it all. Im glad it broke that promise. I even look forward to the future now. I honestly dont even know how it happened because I also felt Hyperactive behavior you. There was no point in anything and there wasnt even a single thing in this life that I found interesting or that I was passionate about. I dont want to ramble on and on so Ill just say it. I found a dream, one for me. ...I know it sounds kind of silly, but that silly and impossible dream really is what keeps me going. It makes want to become a better a better person. Actually, I *have* improve or else I wont ever reach it. I want to reach so badly. *So* badly. I have never wanted anything so more with my heart that it. I guess thats what *normal* people feel about life by default right? Im jealous. Slowly the bad thought will fade away... Not completely but they become manageable. Im happy now. Well, not always... You will always have to fight against that thing inside of you. But I think Im stronger now. I feel Hyperactive behavior when I smile I really Irritable Mood it.Maybe that will work for you too? Just hang on a little longer. Thats why I did. And it worked out! It really did! I Irritable Mood fuck man, younger me scares me. Im lucky enought to have evidence of it. A journal my father gave to me when I was a child. I never really got into it but ever off year or so I would write something. And every now and then I read that entry I wrote when I was going through that. Its hard to face that that was actually me. Hang on a little more, maybe youll surprise yourself Hyperactive behavior I did. ', 'Hey pls reply... This comment really Social fear me... Dont do anything Localized Rash generalised ok? If shes not answering wait till you talk to her before doing anything. If someone I knew killed themselves because I didnt answered my phone I think that would kill me. ', 'You had interest before, what happened? What changed?', 'Edit: this is part 2 btwAlso about the hate you feel, I dont really know about other people for me it was that I was sending them the hate I had for myself. Like instead of hating my self I hated them. I was also bitter. It felt Hyperactive behavior genuine hate but only now I see that it was all rooted in how I was nobody. I really wish you the best. I know I Irritable Mood nothing to you but please take my adviceand wait. That killing the pope and being the first and being recognized... Fucking make something awesome out of it. Have an impossible dream, one that will drive you and challenge you so hard that you will be forced to actually do something. ']

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user-8

['The reason I have faith in our species ability to spread and survive is that homo sapiens have surpassed themselves over and over again throughout their existence. The species does not stop toiling in its growth for my grand hopes or your bleak existential questioning, rather it utilizes these ideas to bolster its rapid acceleration of ability and the scope of its influence. I believe humanity (it can still be called humanity at that point) will do things unimaginable by the likes of you or me, as it has a billion times previous. Colonization of other planets is not so far out of our grasp as to warrant the need to invoke faith. I take it almost as fact that we can accomplish something as small as relocation of our species.Terraforming too, is something I find small potatoes in the grand scheme of human invention and achievement. Look at the world around you, we have practically covered the surface of our planet with an asphalt mesh of roads. We have dammed rivers, created lakes, and cleared forests. Soon we may colonize the moon, which is little more than a dusty rock ball that happens to have a few ice-water caches within its craters. I consider theres a chance that our species will ultimately be wiped out, just as I consider theres a chance that when I compete I will be destroyed by those better than me, that when I leave my house I will get mowed down by a careless vehicle etc. However this does not stop me from striving to achieve my goals anyway, and I want you to know that ignorance regarding the point of our existence is no excuse for not continuing said existence. We may not matter to the universe, but as far as I can tell nothing does, the only being that cares about my existence is other humans around me. I wont exist in 100 years Ill bet, but that doesnt mean that there is no meaning to the lifetime I find myself occupying now.From what I can gather of you, you have a thirst for knowledge. I daresay discovering new ideas of the world *makes you happy*.You say yourself that you would have ended it long ago if not for your endeavors in knowledge. I want to ask you, have you ever tried living for another person? Have you recently sought to gain happiness by providing joy to another? I myself Tired much enjoy gaining scientific knowledge, but I find making others happy and the pursuit of flow, the state of ones skill level meeting ones challenge, the things that make me the most happy. I also gain great pleasure from stories, relating to the trials of a character and his achievements, hopes and failures.I can try to prescribe these activitys for you, but if the pursuit of knowledge is truly what can stimulate action from you, if it gives you a reason to act and to have goals and to watch yourself achieve them then perhaps you could try to live your life furthering humanitys understanding of the universe. You also have a penchant for philosophy (which is ultimately the school of thought that your ideas lie in, merely borrowing from physics to explain them). Maybe you could try to find your solution within philosophical texts.My point is that you have a capable brain, and I judge you as being far from unimportant, both to our species and to myself. The universe cannot disagree, as unfortunately for it it has no means (to our species knowledge) of observing our existence.I want you to know that I responded to your post because it stimulated my mind, and not because I had the need to stop you from dying. Your existence has meaning with me for a quality you are lucky to possess, not just because you are another faceless member of humanity and I have some broad sweeping principle idea that no humans should commit suicide. Your existence holds meaning with me, and with others, and so I bid you temporarily excuse its lack of meaning with you and the universe.If you commit suicide now, it will be too late. I already have felt your existence affect my life, and because of that your own existence will have a hand in shaping my future existence, which will shape the existence of many others, inanimate or not. You cannot stop yourself from having existed, only from continuing to exist. You lost the chance to not affect the rest of universe during conception, and now you have no choice but to continue affecting it, one way or another. That said, I challenge you to the pointless task of living a full life and going out in a blaze of beautiful glory, having positively touched the lives of many others (just as you have already touched my own) and having achieved a goal that holds a grand measure of importance to *you*. You say that you cannot commit suicide until you are sure that it is the answer, and I say that just because you or I cannot know the point of our existence does not mean that there is not one. I say that until you experience the the wonder of pure joy resulting from having filled another with joy, that until you have achieved something that is important to the unique individual human being that is you, that until you have lived a Tired fulfilled existence that you cannot accurately judge whether there is a point to it or not, at all.I leave the rest up to you, I have given you my surest reasoning as to the point of continued existence and you have the choice of believing it, or denying it and nitpicking at my interpretation in order to fulfill the world view you have previously indicated you have or Fear may be true of the universe... or you can simply take a small part or two of what I have said and use it to shape a new view. I invite you to live gloriously, pointlessly, and awesomely and this invitation will not expire.', 'The thing is, black holes dont swallow space around them like a vacuum, they have a limited size gravitational field and masses outside of that field are unaffected. What I mean is, a black hole will not simply pull all objects towards it, only the ones within the reach of its gravitational force. Furthermore, Wikipedia states "In 1974, Stephen Hawking showed that black holes are not entirely black but emit small amounts of thermal radiation.[24] He got this result by applying quantum field theory in a static black hole background. The result of his calculations is that a black hole should emit particles in a perfect black body spectrum. This effect has become known as Hawking radiation. Since Hawkings result, many others have verified the effect through various methods.[74] If his theory of black hole radiation is correct, then black holes are expected to emit a thermal spectrum of radiation, and thereby lose mass, because according to the theory of relativity mass is just highly condensed energy (E = mc2).[24] Black holes will shrink and evaporate over time. The temperature of this spectrum (Hawking temperature) is proportional to the surface gravity of the black hole, which for a Schwarzschild black hole is inversely proportional to the mass. Large black holes, therefore, emit less radiation than small black holes."So, black holes dont last forever, they actually lose mass over time! Furthermore, given the length of time we have until our sun becomes a red giant and the earth becomes uninhabitable, humans have a large fighting chance of being able to populate habitable planets surrounding other stars. If life is designed to perpetuate life, through means of natural selection as well as through survival during celestial travel via [panspermia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panspermia), as well as through the eventual evolution of cognitive function, which grows into scientific reasoning and technological advances eventually leading into a species gaining the ability to inhabit other worlds, then the destruction of our solar system will not mark the end of life. It may mark the end of humans, theres no way to tell... but I can tell you confidently that we wont take it lying down. When species compete with each other to adapt and be the fittest for survival, the real winner is always biodiversity for earths biosphere as a whole. A variety of species in many areas living many different ways increases the likelihood of life continuing, in any form, by reducing the risk of any single catastrophic event occurring.I guess my point is that life will strive to continue, and singularities dont last forever. If you follow the big bounce theory then all mass and energy would continue to exist following the next big bang, should the universe return to a singularity once more. There is a point to our lives as humans, and we will continue to struggle to claim our place in the universe. Please dont give up hope. Im sorry my answer is more science-y and less therapeutic. If you feel you need some engaging discussion with someone who is willing to put forth the effort into actively seeking to understand your ideas, Im more than willing to talk via PM or right here in the comments. ', 'New stars are made all the time, whilst old ones burn out. Sentient life with the ability to travel to and inhabit other planets (especially with the ability to terraform them precolonization) can manage to survive the appearance of a black hole occurring within its home solar system, and in theory survive like this providing it the ability to survive most celestial disasters. A universal cataclysm may be enough to take out a species or group of species living in such a manner, but we dont know enough about the end of the universe, or the possibilities of life experiencing extra-dimensional travel in order to truly say with any confidence what could happen. I find myself perplexed with my ideas surrounding life, for if it is designed (I use this word in the least literal sense possible) to survive cataclysms and disasters and black holes and the impact of other celestial bodies and continue to multiply and diversify and survive, I wonder at its purpose. Surely there is a reason... I find myself drawn into some ideas I picked up when reading a short bit of Raymond Kurzweils The Singularity is Near. I strongly suggest reading that book for a taste of his Tired interesting and stimulating ideas on evolution, both in the biological world and the inorganic world. I should go back to it myself. Alas, I will have to continue this discussion tomorrow, like yourself Ive had a few drinks tonight, and more than my fair share of hoots this afternoon. Dont lose hope friend, and I hope you can find a measure of solace in the knowledge that having a human being like yourself in the gene pool, who can actively ponder the philisophical dilemma of humanities ultimate universal fate is evolutionarily genius, and nothing but a boon for our species. You truly belong in humanity, and we are better for your presence.']

Supportive

user-326

['Im glad to hear shes getting better, she really does sound a lot Hyperactive behavior me. If it wouldnt be weird, tell her that an internet stranger wishes her luck and happiness. ', 'yeah, Ive tried healthy dieting, its actually how my disorder started :c I realized that if I ate even less and exercised even more, i could lose weight faster! then when i ate too much I decided I could just throw it up. then the binges started. Ugh. Pro tip: dont develop an eating disorder, they suck.', 'I did make an appointment with my old therapist on Monday, but Im not sure if I even want to cure my disorder...Only the binging aspect of it, really. It kind of worries me that Id rather be thin and sad than fat and happy. Depressed binging is the worst, man. Sorry to hear that you deal with it too, but it does make me feel less alone!', 'That sounds crappy. Im sorry you had such a shit day, I hope that lets up soon. The worst thing is when it drones on for seemingly forever. In my experience, the good days get there eventually. I hope they get there for you, too. Im afraid Im not very good with words or with cheering people up, Im just another sad soul on the internet. All I can do is offer my sympathies, and youve got all my sympathy. I hope youre able to hang in there.', 'I hope Js doing better than I am.', 'Logically I know that I wont be happy if Im thin, but I feel Hyperactive behavior Id rather be thin and unhappy than fat and unhappy. In all honesty, I feel fairly certain that I wont take my own life (at least any time soon) just because Im too afraid. I hope the Ache stops for you, man. I cant tell you it will, but I sure hope that it does, and that the days get brighter.', 'I hope you tell her she doesnt need to lose any. And its okay, i dunno my gender either. probably another reason for Mental Depression.', 'It does get better. Its hard, its painful, and sometimes it does feel hopeless, Im not going to lie. But the times where you feel the darkness receding will get longer. There are dark places, yes. and things get bad. But life is worth it. Those moments where you can laugh and smile, theyre worth it. Youre a fighter. Medication and therapy can help you out a lot. Im not sure if you can ever "beat" depression, but you can sure as hell laugh in its face. It does get better. Eventually, the good WILL outweigh the bad. I believe that you can make it there.', 'It was in August. But yes, I have seasonal affective disorder. I guess I know deep down that its just winter but still....everything seems so hopeless.', 'Hey. When I was 12/13 I dated a 15/16 year old guy online. Actually, we dated on and off until a couple months ago. Im 18 now, and while we did dirty talk and all that, I dont feel violated or abused or anything from those exchanges, if that helps at all. I dont think youre a Anger or fucked up, even. To be honest, you seem Hyperactive behavior a young guy with active hormones. Happens. Id say, find a therapist. Itll be fine. You havent done anything they can arrest you for as far as I know. You just sound anxious. Get this shit off your chest, man. Youre not a Anger, or a pedophile. I believe that with all my heart. You do sound upset, and maybe a little lost, and its perfectly okay to feel that way. But you ARE a normal, good spirited guy. I can tell. You deserve love and support--you dont deserve to die, certainly not to die feeling guilty and ashamed and anxious. If you can, find someone trained to talk to, and maybe try to break through that isolation a bit? It might be Depressed mood you, even if it feels safer (Im struggling with isolating myself too!) Im sorry to hear youre having such a difficult time, because you really do sound Hyperactive behavior a sweet guy.', 'Shell be scared, but let me tell you something-if you tell her, you HAVE made progress and you ARE trying. Whenever I tell my parents about feeling sad or triggered, theyre proud of me for being able o tell them. Im sure shell feel relieved that youre able to confide in her. Please tell her. Baby steps. Baby steps.', 'Ive known that I dont identify as 100% female for 2 or 3 years now, and I wish it was as cut and Thirst as FtM. However, I dont really identify as Genital Diseases, Male either. The closest I can come to an identity is agender, because really I dont feel Hyperactive behavior anything. Part of me wonders if Mental Depression has something to do with that, but really, Im not sure. ']

Indicator

user-463

['Thank you very much for the picture. I printed it out the second I saw it. You put a big smile on my face. Thank you again.p.s.-damn you drew that?', 'My girlfriend of 7 years recently broke up with me. We also have a 2 year old son. So, I went to Mexico for a family reunion deal (she was offered a free trip and declined). Went there the day after valentines day. I thought we would spend some time together before I left. Boy was I wrong. Instead I went to a bar with my buddy and we each got a pitcher of blue moon and drowned our sorrows. My entire time in Mexico I missed her and my son to the point of craziness. I was more than excited to come home.Anyway, I have her pick me up from the airport when I get back. I havent spoken to her in almost a week (no cell service) and I lit up when I saw that she brought our son. I was on top of the world for those few minutes. I get into her car and see a little flower sitting in a coke can in her cup holder. Im Hyperactive behavior "what the ef?" and I ask her if she needs to tell me something. While I was gone, she got a new boyfriend. Now, we have been having a rough spot for the last couple weeks and had no idea it was this bad. Normally we talk to each other about it. Nope. Needless to say, I was destroyed mentally and physically. Its been about a week and a half and I still cant get over it. Especially since we have a kid and have to have contact with one another.Im bi-polar and schizo-affective, so my mind is obviously going beserk. Ive had problems with suicidal thoughts in the past but now its worse than ever. I Irritable Mood, I cant even talk to her about it. Shes been the Seizures, Focal point in my life for 7 years and now I have to cut it out? Ive been thinking about letting this all out for a while. Its scary because I know that if we didnt have our son, I would probably be dead by now. Which sucks, because I rule. Its a constant struggle within myself. My happy go-lucky personality is being bombarded by bad bad thoughts.Its Hyperactive behavior this...normally Im Hyperactive behavior the Night Owl. But now, I feel more Hyperactive behavior The Comedian. Not giving a shit and wanting everyone to pay (odd reference ahah). +1 to Moore for that masterpiece, I just finished reading it and it really made me feel better for some reason. I also stared at this picture for about 10 minutes yesterday and almost started bawling http://img.phombo.com/img1/photocombo/131/cache/el_pez_by_allanced_display.jpgThanks for listening guys.', 'I know how you feel man. My ex and I were together for 7 years, have a 2 1/2 yo son and she was also my best friend. I too dont have many (if any) real friends to rely on. She became my world and I always thought wed be together forever and be a family. She started seeing someone else when I was in Mexico for a family reunion in February and it tore me up.I did the same self-medicating: weed, Attention Deficit Disorder meds, my vicodin. It helped make me happy and it was all I needed. I know exactly how you feel man. The oxy is scary stuff. If you are gonna take it, break it up into pieces (especially if its an 80). 20mg of oxy is 4 percoset 5mg. Be careful man, were all here for ya if you need people to talk to.', 'Try 7 years and a kid bub. It sucks when things Hyperactive behavior pop up unexpected. It feels Hyperactive behavior your heart is being torn out and stomped on. Relish in the glory of Reddit and let it free your mind. Ive found that there are a lot of genuinely caring folks here who have more than enough time to help one another out. Greatest community ever.', 'now youre putting the pussy on a pedestal haha. youre right though for the most part.', 'Thats good to know. Im only familiar with vicodin and percocet. Ive done oxy 3 times and it was not fun. ', 'I think one of the hardest things about this is feeling alone. I just want to be able to hear that someone loves me (not just family). Especially with my bi-polar and schizo-ness I dwell on things Hyperactive behavior that and get really really depressed. I just hate the thought of being alone; even though I have my son and family, not having her to talk to at night kills me. And having to forget all of those happy memories is something I dont want to do but Ill end up having to if I want to move on. Right now is the hardest part of my life...yet.', 'Dont use that book as your basis of your understanding of us guys. Most of the time guys that Hyperactive behavior want you to come up to them and take charge. It may sound weird but its the truth. Try asking him out to do something just the two of you and see what happens.', 'Thank you. I actually am not on any medication. I was on Zyprexa and then Seroquel for quite a while but stopped taking the anti-psychotics about a year ago. Funny how both of those drugs are off the market now for fucking people up. But it worked for me.Anyway, Ive been thinking about seeing my shrink for a while. Maybe get back on the anti-depressants or something. Thank you though for the thoughtful post. It actually means a lot to me since I dont have many friends.', 'My girlfriend of 7 years recently broke up with me. We also have a 2 year old son. So, I went to Mexico for a family reunion deal (she was offered a free trip and declined). Went there the day after valentines day. I thought we would spend some time together before I left. Boy was I wrong. Instead I went to a bar with my best friend and we each got a pitcher of blue moon and drowned our sorrows. My entire time in Mexico I missed her and my son to the point of craziness. I was more than excited to come home. Anyway, I have her pick me up from the airport when I get back. I havent spoken to her in almost a week (no cell service) and I lit up when I saw that she brought our son. I was on top of the world for those few minutes. I get into her car and see a little flower sitting in a coke can in her cup holder. Im Hyperactive behavior "what the ef?" and I ask her if she needs to tell me something. While I was gone, she got a new boyfriend. Now, we have been having a rough spot for the last couple weeks and had no idea it was this bad. Normally we talk to each other about it. Nope. Needless to say, I was destroyed mentally and physically. Its been about a week and a half and I still cant get over it. Especially since we have a kid and have to have contact with one another. Im bi-polar and schizo-affective, so my mind is obviously going beserk. Ive had problems with suicidal thoughts in the past but now its worse than ever. I Irritable Mood, I cant even talk to her about it. Shes been the Seizures, Focal point in my life for 7 years and now I have to cut it out?I didnt Irritable Mood to hi-jack this thread or anything. Ive been thinking about letting this all out for a while and "kousi" I owe you one. Its scary because I know that if we didnt have our son, I would probably be dead by now. Which sucks, because I rule. Its a constant struggle within myself. My happy go-lucky personality is being bombarded by bad bad thoughts. Its Hyperactive behavior this...normally Im Hyperactive behavior the Night Owl. But now, I feel more Hyperactive behavior The Comedian. Not giving a shit and wanting everyone to pay. +1 to Moore for that masterpiece, I just finished reading it and it really made me feel better for some reason. I also stared at this picture for about 10 minutes yesterday and almost started bawling http://img.phombo.com/img1/photocombo/131/cache/el_pez_by_allanced_display.jpgThanks for listening guys.']

Ideation

user-64

['You need a sponsor. Like recovering drug addicts- but someone who is also struggling with mental illness. Being alone is the difference between life and death. No one should have to be alone... maybe find another person on suicidewatchAnd, obviously, dont do it!! I dont know you, so I cant tell you how awesome you are. All I know is that you have kids- if you cant live for you, live for them. If you kill yourself, those screams theyve heard will haunt them forever. They need you, and care about you. If you have no other reason to live, let it be them ', 'Make your own puzzle', 'Hes right. Part of Depression is the overwhelming loneliness- we think that no one could possibly have felt this bad. That no one exists that is like us. It is all a mental block- you have to change your brain chemistry. For me, and my Fear (not going to specify), I told myself "Some day Ill be okay with it." I knew it didnt have to be right away, and it took some of the Pressure away. Plus, knowing that Id feel better some day made the current day more bearable', 'Youre welcome to talk to me. I dont have a degree, but I know a bit on the subject. And Ive been to therapy- what helped was talking about myself, I never stayed in long enough for analysis. Plus Im free :)']

Indicator

user-300

['What changed things for you?', 'Thank you for being the only responder and sharing your story. Sorry for my delayed reply, its been hard to do anything even online. And for lack of better words, sorry you had to go through all that but at least you were lucky enough to have your attempt fail with minimum physical harm. Im thankful that happened for you, and to be honest in a Nausea way I wish this would happen to me- its Hyperactive behavior I desperately want to commit Suicide without the death part if that makes any sense. I just want to wake up or snap out of it somehow and change my reality, and make my parents understand just how desperately I need help for all these problems they refuse to take seriously back when I actually tried to reach out to them. I have so much Anger about the fact that theyre responsible for my existence, I force myself to stay alive for them, and then their response is to make doing that as difficult as possible to continue.Most of my friends (when I had them) were on the autism spectrum and I can relate to a lot of what they go through, as some of my disorders have some overlapping symptoms that get mistaken for autism often (OCD, Phobia, Social Anxiety Mental Depression disorder, sensory integration disorder). Id be happy to be your friend, but it sounds Hyperactive behavior youre in a slightly better place than me at the moment and I dont want to be a burden. You seem Hyperactive behavior a nice guy and I hope you get yourself some friends who deserve you one day.I go to therapy once a week, which helps in the sense that my therapist is the only human being I get to have real conversations with so I havent gone totally crazy. I have been on over 20 different kinds of meds over the course of a decade, which ranged from being neutral to making things much, much worse. I wish all of those resources that have been wasted on me could have gone to someone else if it would help. I got out of bed today despite really not wanting to, so I guess thats something. Part of the reason for that was because I felt obligated to write a reply. Thank you for that.']

Ideation

user-14

['You are not alone, my dear. You have two parents who, from what you said, love you unconditionally. Please please please dont kill yourself. Parents are not supposed to bury their children. At 24, you have SUCH a life ahead of you! This situation is temporary. It really sucks and I feel for you. But as bad as it seems, it will get better. Trust me when I say that it will get better. You have the desire to be more mentally healthy, right? You have the power to change your way of thinking. I know the spiral of starting to believe your negative thoughts. Your brain is LYING to you. You are a wonderful and unique human being with so much to give back. Every day, look in the mirror and name 5 good things about yourself. It will feel silly at first, but something about looking at yourself and saying, e.g., "I am caring." will get you to eventually believe it. Feel free to PM me anytime you need a lift from the darkness. ', 'No life is accidental; especially not yours. I want so much for you to live. I want you to get away from those poisonous people. I want you to start seeing a psychologist (avoid a psychiatrist if you can. they seem more interested in doling out pills than giving you real skills to combat your negative thoughts.). I want you to accept and love yourself for who you are. I want you to get through this and come out the other side. Think of all the young people in similar situations that you can help. You are not alone. You are beautiful. Please dont end your life. ', 'Could you join a support group? Im not sure where you live, so I dont know the resources you have. I found talking to people in similar situations really helped. I would try looking into a psychologist; sometimes a change in therapist is good. Have you asked for help? I know that seems like a silly question and if that came across negatively I am so sorry. I just know that, for me, asking for help was the hardest part. Once I did, I found that so many people wanted to help me. Concerning the license, could you get a bike? Even an old crapper from the thrift store is a start. Exercising will also stimulate those good endorphins and hopefully have you feeling better. I feel ya on the job front. Times are tough and your situation is tougher. Go into every business and put in applications. Once you have a job, its easier to find a better one. The social interactions with your colleagues can also help you feel less isolated. Try not to let your Fear of acceptance deter you. I like to listen to "I Am What I Am" from La Cage Aux Follies when Im feeling bad about myself. Back on the subject... all that I have said above will help you escape the prison of your mind. I can see how moving to a more enlightened area will help you. The reality is that, for now at least, youre stuck where you are. So, work on escaping from those negative thoughts. If someone knocks you down (figuratively), get back up. Because we both know that A. you dont deserve that treatment and B. they are full of shit. You are a good person, worthy of love. I have a mental method my psychologist taught me to build myself up; would you like to give it a try? I really hope my words helped you.', 'Look in the mirror and say 3 positive attributes you have. It will feel silly at first, but its important that you maintain this every day. Im on my mobile right now. When I get home Ill write more. ']

Ideation

user-156

['say something if youre still there. hope i didnt arrive too late.', 'Youre only 14 years old? Incredible because youre writing comes off so intelligent, like an adult.I have some things to say to you regarding one of your statements:"These thoughts are so overwhelming, and Im starting to accept them, and I know that if life takes one more thing from me, Im going to act on them, if I dont just act on it randomly one day."If you pay attention, you may notice that all of the Suicidal inclinations originate within the mind, namely from the thoughts. Have you ever wondered where these thoughts come from? These thoughts seem foreign dont they? Indeed, they come to us from our spiritual enemies, the demons who hate mankind with perfect malice. The demons are able to transmit thoughts to us, as if shooting arrows or casting poisonous darts. The thoughts are the weapons they use against us. The demons compass about us, swarming upon us, refusing to leave us alone. They obtain power over us because to some degree we share in their darkness.They are spiritual parasites, who steal energy from us, by inciting negative emotions via the transmission of thoughts to the intellect which is a part of the human soul. These thoughts incite hatred, anger, jealousy, lust, greed, all kinds of negativity. Their ultimate goal is to destroy us. When they attack, often like piranhas on a feeding frenzy, the human heart becomes overwhelmed with despair, despondency, fear, anger, resentment, and a distraught psychological state that is difficult to escape from, and recognizable by its effects.When these evil thoughts are accepted, the thought enters into the heart, where it spawns an emotion, that is, a feeling, with which the thought joins, and the combination of the negative thought with a negative feeling, tends to effect one or two things: it will either produce an action, or a desire/inclination to perform that same action.If you have never followed through with the action, then the effect is a desire/inclination to perform the action, and the action itself is easier to resist. However, once you begin accepting the thoughts, which will assault us repeatedly, it becomes increasingly difficult to resist the inclination/desire to perform the resulting action.Its spiritual warfare. We must resist the demons. When we accept their lies, it gives them greater power over us. Day after day they come to us and inject thoughts into the mind, designed to cause despair, self-hatred, hopelessness, etc. Then they will tell you to kill yourself. And they will come and attack you again and again, for days, weeks, months and years. They know it will wear a person down if they are relentless. They may relent temporarily if it helps their cause; if they see us doing things that harm us, like using drugs. But they are simply lying in wait, like wolves. If someone begins to believe the lies the demons tell them in their thoughts, the demons weaken us and they become stronger, feeding off the despair or whatever negative emotions/actions they incite. Demons seek to conquer a person in small steps. If they seek your destruction via suicide, they will start small, making you feel like an economic/academic/social failure, not good enough, ugly, unlikable, etc. Things to make us feel bad about ourselves, unloved, and hopeless. Among these smaller steps, the demons try to get you to start cutting yourself or Burning sensation yourself; banging your head against the wall, punching the wall, breaking things. Once you start hurting yourself, following through on the desire/action that is produced by the acceptance of the thought into the heart, then it becomes harder and harder to resist the actions they seek, and the behavior begins to hard wire itself into the brain, where it becomes a behavioral pattern. For example, if you live in a 2 story house, you can run up and down the stairs Tired fast without thinking about it. Its become a hard wired action. Another example: People who become addicted to smoking, can have a streamlined behavior pattern: a thought to smoke, automatic acceptance of the thought into heart, and desire and action are virtually united into a single step: person reaches for cigarette and lights it. The whole thing becomes a seamless transaction. At this point, a person can virtually lose the freedom of their will in regard to the action. This is also how addictions form within the human person.The problems you are experiencing cannot get better so long as you accept these negative thoughts. It is not easy to overcome these thoughts, since they dont come from within you. Thats why many Suicidal people think that they cant get better. The demons wont leave them alone but instead relentlessly attack the person, until the person loses their mind and gives up the fight, ending their life.There is a whole methodology to heal oneself, to overcome these dark forces.', 'First time signing up at reddit. Felt inclined to reply.Im 35 and was in and out of mental hospitals all throughout high school, up to my early 20s. I sliced my self up pretty bad a few times. Was Suicidal for years, no hope, saw no future.After high school I decided to just use drugs and not worry about life, just be a bum pretty much, and gave up on ever caring about accomplishing anything.I made it through that dark period by giving up caring about anything.My life turned out okay. I mean yeah, Im a failure at economic success and making money but who cares! If all you ever wanted was to be rich, then youve been duped. Money is just a false hope people are brainwashed to chase. Lots if people committing suicide or being totally miserable are rich. Money doesnt make people happy. It may seem to for a little bit, but then look, no one is ever satisified with how much they have. Theyve done surveys, asking people their annual income, and how much annual income is needed to be "rich"/"successful. Every single income bracket did not consider their own income enough to be rich. All the way from the poorest to the richest. People who make half a million dollars a year think they need to make a million to be rich. Its a joke. And everyone is deceived by this.1. How old are you.Like I said, Im 35 now. And my life is still a life of suffering, but I have a wife and several children now. Im on welfare and a failure in the American workplace. And I could list tons of reasons why my life sucks and why Im a failure as a human. But Im happy I didnt kill myself when I was younger. Having children made my life worth living, even though I suffer so much. These beautiful kids would never have existed if I had committed suicide.Look, understand life is terribly painful, but we cant just assume our Pain will end at death.Looking back, I realize I didnt actually want to die. What I truly wanted was for my suffering to end. And because it was so painful, I hated myself, I just wanted to die. It seemed like the only way I could escape. Friend, there is no escape. You must have a small speck of hope. A mans spirit within him is endued with hope at conception. All people have a glimmer of hope no matter how dark life gets. Thats why we reach out to others when we are at the point of suicide. Its why youre here.Please dont kill yourself.You are valuable. You are important. You matter. People care about you.Remember in High School, probably you knew someone at your school, or knew of them, who committed suicide. And everyone acted sad. Even though no one acted like they cared about the person. And usually many people say, "I wish there was something I could have done." Or if I had only known I would have tried to help.So there are people whi help and people who care. If you reach out, maybe even youll need to reach far, people will reach out their hand to pull you up from the grave.Suicide is permanent. Your current problems are probably temporary. The problems I had, the reasons I had for suicide when I was young, for the most part dont affect me anymore. I still have problems, but its not like before. And so I encourage anyone who is Suicidal, or is making a big decision like this to wait.When in doubt go without.Maybe you should wait 1 day for each year of your life that is passed to decide to make the ultimate decision, irrevocable and terrible: destroying oneself.So if youre 18 years old, wait 18 days to decide. Until you can be 100% sure this is what you want to do, for 18 days, you should not act. Dont make a mistake like this unless you are fully and irrevocably committed. Killing yourself is permanent. Theres no changing your mind.I can write more if youre interested in talking. Ive been there myself.If youre just here to say farewell, I would still like to hear more about you and what it is that leads you to such a drastic end. Forgive me for anything wrong I said.']

Behavior

user-40

['I was 15 when I was arrested. Wasnt a good student or a good offspring, but I really turned myself around my last two years of high school. I still got suspended two more times, for doing stupid things, but thats just life. As cheesy as it sounds, whatever doesnt kill you just makes you stronger. And I think that because you are still young, you will have plenty of chances to screw up and try to better yourself. I would actually encourage doing more stupid things, because they make for good stories later in life and they allow you do look back at what kind of person you were and give advice to people who happen to be in similar situations. Also, when the time does come around, for you to help someone, you will see that this mistake that you made, getting arrested, is actually what is helping you help your friend. Not gonna lie, youre gonna feel terrible over and over again. Sometimes you will lie in bed running through the arrest over and over again in your head and think about what you could have done or said to get out of it. Where you went wrong in life, but you will eventually accept that it happen and move on.I encourage you to PM me so that we can talk more.']

Supportive

user-379

['Ive also tried talking to my SO about some sort of financial counseling or even bankruptcy, but there is always a fight to ensue after even mentioning it and that if i could just make more money everything would be ok and that I should be doing more to fix the problem which I feel Hyperactive behavior i have. Its so one sided when fighting because the arguments turn into her shouting and crying. I make roughly 50k a year currently.', 'I got laid off about three years ago and and my family and I decided to move back to where I grew up since I was offered a way to support myself through a family business which is farming of a sort. There has been the obvious family drama, but its the money thats the problem. There were promises made that were not kept despite the fact that Im making roughly 25k more a year than i did a few years ago. It seems Hyperactive behavior enough to me, but it is never enough and Hyperactive behavior I said before Im Exhaustion and feel stretched beyond my limit being berated for not doing "more" to support my family. Maybe its just me being a wuss I dont know. After awhile I have begun to feel pretty worthless and anything I do is not good enough. Not being here and hoping for some sort of accident to finish me off is a daily occurrence now. I just want some peace in my life or peace in death, and peace in life isnt looking good. I keep trying to tell myself that people need me and that I shouldnt be so selfish to even think these things, but theyre always there now. I am Depressed mood inwardly and i do my best not to show it. No one would even really suspect that i have these thoughts. I try to keep the thoughts at bay by looking forward to something and it works until the next time im told im not doing something right or im a Depressed mood husband and father then it hits me Hyperactive behavior a ton of bricks and it just seems Hyperactive behavior a better option, just a little serenity.', 'I can honestly say my situation is very similar to yours. Ive contemplated just leaving one day when she is going off the rails or just getting up saying "im Exhaustion of this shit" and walking out. The minute i have those thoughts i feel guilty for even thinking it because of my children. They are really the ones that keep me from just running my truck off a bridge some days. Shes straight up told me she is saving up money to leave me, then after things have cooled off she tries to tell me basically she will if i dont figure out how to fix our money problems. She stays at home with the kids, and she is supposed to pay the bills because i work so much and cant keep up with everything. The only problem is that she will rack up bills we cant pay because of how the money comes in due to my line of work. I get paid weekly 800 and make about 10 to 15k during the summer extra, plus another 5 or 6k extra from other related jobs i do, that doesnt include the significant tax return we get or the 250 a month Disability i get from the military. And she will give me the excuse that the money comes in from the other stuff so sporadically it goes to the bills and we are always broke. She spends the money before we even have it. And if for some reason the extra money comes in later than usual or at an odd time she is a screaming hateful Disturbance in mood until it does because i "lied" to her about the extra money. Those are the worst times because ive killed myself all day long just to come home and be bitched at. Just thinking about it makes me feel Hyperactive behavior shit, but i cant leave my kids. If i could get past the Guilt of not being with my kids everyday i would leave her.', 'Yes we have tried to sit down a few times and it always ends up with her telling me what the budget is and how it should be paid without listening to any input I have to offer. She just cant possibly survive without a 300 cable bill and her 300 cell phone bill which wouldnt be an issue with how much I make plus utilities, car note, food, mortgage, clothes, gas, necessities in general in having 4 children. The problem is there are so many "extra" bills and expenditures. The store cards, credit cards, eating out, the little things bought on a regular basis. I can see where it is going to. Theyre killing us. I even offered to go through our bank statement with her line by line for the past year to see where exactly it all went and all I got was a resounding fuck you. And yes Ive been hit a few times, and the arguments at home and on the phone are almost always in front of the kids. She doesnt abuse the kids whatsoever as far as i know, they would tell me. They have seen me get shoved and hit in the face unfortunately, never laid a hand on her in anger.']

Indicator

user-468

['You obviously care for your mother quite deeply... Living without her after what youve been through must be a terrifying thought, but do you really think this is what she would want?', 'What would you say is the root cause of this feeling, then? Or is it something you arent entirely aware of?', 'I see... In that case, Im sorry - I didnt Irritable Mood to lean too heavily toward that option.Even so, you still have us. Would you be willing to talk about whats happening in more detail? Or did your post cover pretty much everything?', 'What makes you feel so disgusting and ashamed? Are your friends or peers homophobic? Are you religious?', 'Do you really think youre being needy to ask her for help in this situation? If she came to you with something Hyperactive behavior this, would you think she was being overly dependent?', 'How so? Were you deeply looking forward to having children, or do you just consider homosexuality to be unnatural?', 'You are **not** nothing.Whether or not you can see it, or others acknowledge it, you are here, and you do have value. Even if you feel you really do have nobody to turn to, or that nobody cares for you, were still here to listen... And if you decide to leave, know that even if its only us here at SW, you will be missed.Have you tried talking to your girlfriend about how you feel, though? If she agreed to be in a relationship with you, she must care about you to some extent... Do you really think she would ignore you if you told her what you were going through?', 'You know... I dont know you. I dont know what youve been through, or whats lead you to such a steadfast certainty that any life you would lead would be unconditionally horrible, but there is one thing I do know.For all our knowledge - our instant, worldwide communication network, our pocket-sized libraries, our Mars Rovers - nobody can know the future.People have been trying to find methods of looking into the future for millennia, but the reason it still eludes us even as we take our first steps on the Red World is because, by its nature, the future represents limitless possibility. An infinite number of possible outcomes... Whether or not you believe it in this moment of despair, there are paths that can lead you to happiness. And you have the power to forge your own path - after all, the greatest influence on your future is your own decisions. Your will, your choices.Tomorrow could be an amazing day - a day of peace, and encouragement - and all you have to do is choose to make it one. In fact, it might be a great day even if you dont choose to make anything of it. I dont know the future either.', 'So you feel lonely despite having friends because you feel none of your relationships with them are genuine?', 'Is that really true? You seem to be perfectly intelligent and capable, as far as I can tell. Odds are fair that youre at least decent at something... But to be really good at something, you have to practice a lot, and give yourself some time to improve. Its true of any skill.You must have some interests, though. They dont necessarily have to relate to your education, or a career path... Or anything, really. Hell, I do medieval recreation in my spare time.', 'Why do you feel so hateful toward yourself? What makes you think that you dont deserve these things? Is it because of anything specific, or have you just felt emotional since your delivery?Do you think you might feel better if you were able to get some rest? I know firsthand how much Hypersomnia deprivation can tangle your thoughts and feelings.I cant imagine how much pressure the idea of motherhood must be, especially since it seems as though the father isnt part of the picture... But please dont do this. You said yourself that youre surrounded by people who care for you... Your friends, your ex... Your daughter... How do you think this would affect them? Do you honestly think ending your own life will really make life happier for any of them?Why do you feel you cant discuss these things with your friends? From your comment, it seems Hyperactive behavior theyre rather concerned already, and they would probably be more than willing to help you. If you cant bring yourself to do it, no matter the reason, there are always people you can talk to. We at SW are always willing to listen, and help you work through this... Im sure there are other counselors you could contact as well.Just please, dont give up. Nobody deserves this kind of death.', 'Im hardly a psychiatric expert, but even if it is purely founded on a chemical imbalance (And as near as I can tell, we still arent totally certain that it is), understanding that these feelings of sadness and self-loathing have little to no external source could help her overcome this in a number of ways. Besides, support groups and other non-medical therapeutic options are still used as methods to address and treat postpartum depression.As I said, Im not an expert, so you could very well be right, but Ive never known trying to understand ones feelings and their causes as being as unhelpful as you seem to suggest. Perhaps, when all is said and done, antidepressants are the answer, but as a rule I dont personally recommend people to things that alter their brain chemistry as the first resort, considering how much we still dont understand about the human brain and its chemical operations.']

Supportive

user-403

['Friendships are complicated. Close friendships between three people are even more complicated. Maybe its time to expand your circle of friends. Theres no need to get rid of the two friends youre talking about. Maybe theyll come around and maybe they wont. Either way, theres nothing wrong with meeting new people.Try to keep in mind that a lot of the people at your school (if not all of them) are thinking the EXACT same things as you. "Nobody likes me. I wish I had more friends." If you were to make a point of chatting with a few new people every day, theyd probably be extremely grateful to you, and might end up being good friends of yours. What kind of activities are you involved in?It sounds Hyperactive behavior you Irritable Mood a lot to your mom, and you must care about her too if youre considering her feelings (not all teenagers would have the selflessness and empathy to do that). Maybe youd feel better if you talked to her about some of this. Is it possible to have dinner together tonight? Maybe you could plan some kind of event with her, Hyperactive behavior a movie or a manicure. Also, you could offer to run errands with her some evening or on the weekend. She might appreciate the company and Ive found it makes great visiting time.Please keep us updated! Im sending you positive thoughts.', 'That sounds really rough. Im sorry youre going through such a tough time. It sounds Hyperactive behavior your wife has been treating you horribly for a while now.I think the best thing you can do is get through the day. At some point youll need to feel Numbness and at some point youll need to get some release. Try to Sedated state or Numbness yourself by vegging in front of the TV or having a few beers (dont buy enough to get sick). Releasing the pent up frustration could be through a work out or venting to a friend. If you live in a safe neighborhood, long walks are helpful.Is there a friend or family member who could stay with you for a night or two? Venting to us is great, and Id be happy to PM, but hugs are hard to give online.All of the cliches are true. It gets better. Keep your chin up. What doesnt kill you make you stronger. If all those sound Hyperactive behavior bullshit (they often do), just remember to breathe.']

Supportive

user-216

['Im still trying to figure that out myself. Probably because I have nobody to talk to. I just feel like whenever a stranger says they hope nothing bad happens to me I feel like they dont mean it. I feel like if they actually knew me they wouldnt have hope for me. ', 'I feel terrible about the situation Im in. I dropped out of high school 3 years ago when I was 15. Ever since then my life has gone down hill. Ive never had a job, never had a decent relationship with any female, that includes my mother, grandmother, and sister. My family has no hope for me, so neither do I. My sister has a car and her license, and shes 2 years younger than me. My Dad helped her get a car, when I dont even have a bike. I cant get a job because nobody wants to hire an 18 year old with an 8th grade education. Im just Illness of everyone around me, including myself. ', 'It does, I appreciate people like you, thank you. I also do feel better', 'Why do you hope I dont kill myself? Who are you to have hope in a Suicidal stranger?Your words of wisdom dont help me. ']

Ideation

user-279

['Listen, OP.You dont have to have a girlfriend. Like, you wont keel over and die. You dont "have" to kill yourself. Like, no one is holding a gun to your head.~ Reddit users take everything literally, or at least do when it allows them to *not* communicate under the guise of communication. To float words without meaning. What youre really asking for is advice. I wish I had some. It seems Hyperactive behavior you need some degree of (at least willful) ignorance in order to get along with others at an extremely intimate personal level. Wide-eyed, full-consciousness is hardly accepted. As far as I can tell, life is about making money and having sex/building a family. If you cant get those things, what is the point? I dont know. I can pretend that humans dont need intimacy, I can even believe it, but its not true and the data/knowledge we as humans have confirms this. Its Abnormal behavior how many young men are Ventricular Dysfunction, Left out to Thirst right now, yet we obsess harder and harder over perceived inequalities facing women in the western world. Is it going to take a Localized Rash generalised of suicides to get people to care? Would even that make a difference? I kind of doubt it. People are callous.']

Indicator

user-434

['Theres a few distant cousins and friends of theirs I talk to.', 'It can be a zen experience', 'lonely for 20 years, set in my eccentric ways. I seem to be one in 7 BILLION, no one on earth can relate to my mindset. and even if just one person did I wouldnt trust them, think Im destined to become a stat', 'Its not that; cant get out of my own head. I cant function anymore. I need to kill the desire, went for help in July. Wanted some pill to take that away, there isnt any pill that makes you want nothing.', 'see comment to Kattekan', 'I trust no one, words I live by.', 'She can be so difficult. I know she doesnt always take her meds but Im in no position to force her.Seems Hyperactive behavior every other week I have to take her to the ER for something, last week it was for UTI which she didnt even have and they sent her home.', 'its the truth from my perspective. [deleted]', 'Ive been reading things Hyperactive behavior this from the start among other horror stories in a support group on MDJunction. Good articles; and thanks for your insight. ', 'already there, now i drink alone everyday to kill the Ache', 'Yes, shes even told me she does this, I just dont know how to tell the difference between whats real and what isnt.', 'Hate it here, women are so shallow around here, gold diggers and I got nothing going for me.96% of women wont date a shorter man....Im 53, that why I dont deserve a good life.', 'Youre just a big baby.', 'Im a truck driver and it owns, countless hours alone with your thoughts and no boss as long as you have good work ethic to get shit done and get home on time.Somedays Im on fire and have made as many as 6 stops on less than 30 mins, no socializing, just go in with no fear and do your job.', 'Then I dont sleep. This drug helped me greatly in 2008-10, guess Im getting tolerance for anti-depressants, on 4 diff kinds and none are helping. Still having fits of crying multiple times a day. Cant live Hyperactive behavior this...', 'be strong till you can escape... and never look back', '39, last year', 'Im short, bald, false teeth, limp dick, drug addict with mental illness, whos gonna want that?', 'Tracy is Hyperactive behavior a sister to me but I never had a sister. Things can be tense between us since we messed around sexually when we were young kids and I was the instigator of it.', 'Would love to try it and OD on it', '50 miles away, I live right out side Harrisburg, PA. Horrible area, rude people, stuck up women and the city is crumbing with the influx of blacks and hispanics stealing our jobs and women.', 'Same generic words Im always told...How I feel right now...ok, lets see. Worthless, burden on those around me, isolated, depressed, suicidal. Just got done bawling with my head in my hands between my legs, roommate came in to check on me and threw her out of my room for making me cry.', 'Get up at the same time everyday', 'Thats an attractive option but i couldnt ever Chest Pain her', 'She takes Prozac and Seroquel; she wont let me in anymore than that', 'and thats a thing, i dont trust anyone.Im naive by nature and easily taken advantage of, it seems wrong to be dishonest, yet i see so many ppl doing it and doing well because of it.', 'her Paranoia is extreme. I cant be seen in public with her, Hyperactive behavior Im some sort of dirty little secret', 'it all goes well till they have to look down at me', 'wimmins are the problem, they hate me', 'Ive made arrangements to donate my body to science several years ago so there wouldnt be any cost to anyone for my disposal. It makes me cringe to think what theyll do with it but what will I care when dead.Its a small thing but it brings me comfort should I ever do the dirty deed. Im not close to my family, or anyone for that matter so I dont Anxiety about emotionally Depressed mood anyone. Hanging from a tree is victimless.', 'Like a failure', 'I was young then and the farm equipment was auctioned off in the mid-80s and the land was rented out to another farmer.It was 40 acres of fields, pasture, and woods. Before I was born it was mainly chicken and egg farm but we had a few cows in pasture in Pennsylvania Dutch area. I always liked the chickens, when about 12 yrs old I had some of my own to raise. I would sit in the chicken house and just watch them interact with each other. Roosters fascinate me in the way they strut and act Hyperactive behavior tough shit in front of their hens.We had a butcher shop in the barn for the cows.There was one time when i was about 6-7 years old and we had a few pigs by chance. I told them not to butcher that one pig because she was pregnant. Well she got butchered anyway and had 7-8 piglets in her. My father said he should have listened to me.', 'love her unconditionally and roll with it or it wont work', 'There was nothing you could have done to stop this. Call this number and theyll clean up the mess 1-866-xxx-xxxx.I made arrangements to donate my body many years ago.', 'once im hanging, there would be no way of being able to hold myself up. I can keep my sense when drinking, may not remember well next day but my mind is intact', 'Last week on sunday, I have no memory of monday after.', 'It was $340 a day for me, didnt help me much actually', 'Its so cliche but a woman that I could love would bring me purpose. And it seems unattainable at this point in my life. Im a pathetic loser.', 'Thanks thats what I wanted to know', 'I have a plan for next week so none of it matters', 'Love is powerful. So many times Ive said that we were finished yet I always go back for her. Sometimes think I need her more then she needs me, she makes me a better man; a better person.', 'I need to be forced but Ill lose the little Ive built here...thinking', 'This sub-reddit is too depressing to read for me but am aware of it.And I agree that humans make life more complicated than it should be, I often wish I was a sparrow and knew nothing of this human world. I want nothing more than to search for food, build a nest, sing for a mate, and raise my young.Nice story about the desert, I have no knowledge of deserts. ', 'yes. reckless behavior. Like pushing the limits of my car going across the turnpike bridge here, once hit 140 and was drunk off my ass. What a rush.', 'Cant maintain friendships, dunno how', 'Youre right I cant accept myself, I need someone else to first.', 'Ive hatched several plans over the years and this is most recent. A few moments of Abnormal dreams Ache and then is over...Hyperactive behavior a gun shot in the mouth or bleeding out or inhaling helium to i pass out and suffocate. Suicide by cop seems Hyperactive behavior a good option, out in a blaze of glory while fighting for my life against "the man" whos always held me back.When young I hated my parents for giving me life. When I was 11 I wanted to jump, in teens it was drug overdose but half hearted, in 20s i was ok, now in late 30s i hate life...its too lonely. If only i had someone to care about.i wanted the childfree lifestyle and got it but its an Depersonalization life, and thats how i see religion; its Depersonalization and unfulfilling, same as Gods so-called love. Need something I can touch and see, my faith just isnt there given my background of studying the history of the universe and earth, could write a book on my view of earth history but whats the point? Money isnt important to me and some people seem BAFFLED by that.Its Hyperactive behavior that i know so much about history and evolutionary theory that God just cannot exist. it makes no sense. The world would be a better place with less people and I can contribute by ending my life. ', 'Same here, Lithium has been great for me; so much so that I dont need any other meds for Bipolar Disorder. The only side effect Ive had from it Dehydration when I dont drink enough water. Im also Type II diabetic.', 'Do the same thing but usually dont send it after some over-analyzing. ', 'Nothing specific, just lonely. always lonely. I put myself out there, I talk to women yet its one rejection after another, been this way for years. 53 is the reason. Im a good person and always do the right things but no one for me', 'Shes been diagnosed as rapid-cycle Bipolar Disorder with pshyotic- something-or-other.', 'I understand, yesterday I went to the local park. There was a fair amount of people there. Kids in the playground, couples playing frisbee or just walking together. Everyone there had someone but I was walking alone, on the swing alone....just wanted to enjoy the nice day but the crippling Sad mood wouldnt allow it.', 'No I wasnt banned but it was suggested that I find other resources by /u/DDbb00. ', 'What keeps me here? I lack the courage to pull the proverbial trigger. Some would say it takes more courage to live than to die. For me its more Hyperactive behavior too Social fear to live and too afraid to die. I cant remember how the saying goes exactly.I hold out hope that somehow, someway Ill find someone who I can adore and that Ill experience mutual love; not just another one-sided relationship. (There have been so many.) The truth about being alone in life hit me hard and not sure Ive fully accepted it. There has to be someone out there whos Hyperactive behavior me, who thinks the same way I do, and has the same wants and needs. But I cant find her...seems Ive been searching my whole life and Im tired. Theres no one for me.Recently Ive read this: http://www.galactanet.com/oneoff/theegg_mod.html and its given me a lot to think about...', 'Zoloft is crap, get on Lithium.', 'Its done the same to me. Music is my biggest trigger', 'Ive had a real bad Irritable Mood lately, snapped at just about every one of my co-workers this past week and its almost my favorite time of year, not quite cool enough yet.', 'The national one said they cant help me... truly wtf', 'Maybe I have some hope someone will reach out and do right things right. .00001% chance but ya know, when all else has failed, why not? Nothing to lose.', 'Mine seems to be able to take the abuse, the Ache, and there is no history of cancer in my family within living memory, always thought my bloodline was a good one genetically as most of the family makes it into their 90s, but Dementia is a problem for those.Ive given my love away so many times only to have it rejected, heartbreak is all too familiar to me. Makes me feel worthless to live a life with no purpose.', 'No one is close to me. I speak of my roommate who will notice. Ive made arrangements to donate my body to science many yrs ago and will be leaving the number for her to call to get the mess cleaned up.Travel: Not really possible as Im lower class, but have traveled regionally in my yrs here. Id Hyperactive behavior to drive from Pennsylvania to California though.Ive loved many times and always lost, its horrible to be hated by women. ', 'I have no friends and virtually no family, no one would notice Im gone except my employer. And within three weeks Id be replaced there and forgotten. Going to pass-out drunk now so i can be ready for another day of unfulfillingly working for someones dreams to come true.', 'Zoloft 50mg and Lithium 900mg. I love that the Lithium takes my emotions and desires away.', 'I always wanted to try therapy. Being of the lower class makes it difficult to keep a roof over my head let alone an expensive therapist.Im a therapists worst nightmare. Full of "what ifs" and "yea but"s. hear they dont Hyperactive behavior that sort of thing. Even considered voluntarily/involuntarily committing myself, but the thought of being locked up doesnt appeal to me.', 'She lives 15 mins away, thats acceptable to me. I come from a broken home; my parent split when I was 13. Not much of an impact on me since I lived on the family farm with great aunt and uncle. Both were dead by the time I was 20 yrs old.My Mother is not real; she didnt raise me.Im on several meds for major Mental Depression disorder, none seem to be helping. Im obsessed with death and suicide, I dont belong here.', 'Climbed the ladder and tied extension cord to my branch, its ready. What 2-3 mins of Panic Attacks and its over, no knife in my pocket to cut cord. I just gotta drink some more to get the balls', 'Lonely, ppl hate me unless they want a dollar from me or new member to church congregation. ', 'Im 120 pounds and drink almost half a bottle of whiskey every night, tolerance sucks. At least its killing me slowly...along with the 2-pack/day cigarette habit. Somethings gotta give.', 'Its in the works but nothing yet. I saw a doctor on Wednesday for an unrelated issue and brought up Mental Depression. All he wanted to talk about was my Diabetic history which really doesnt concern me all that much since I know its false.It was a Ache in my lung that I went in for, was hoping it was lung cancer and told him that. And if it was, my plan was to hope for a doctor to ease my Ache because I brought this onto myself I wont seek treatment.Edit : punctuation ', 'I would so Hyperactive behavior to meet another who feels this way. I wanna have that closeness Hyperactive behavior between siblings where you know each other completely but bonds Hyperactive behavior that take years to form and there isnt even anything on the horizon for me. I dont get the chance to show what I have to give.', 'my dick doesnt work on demand, see dude I got something back for everything you can say. Im a fighter Hyperactive behavior that but its all true', 'The hose wouldnt stay on tailpipe, my method needs to be refined, get em next time....', 'Advil doesnt work, youll wake with hellish why am i still alive Migraine Disorders for hrs after', 'Do MMOs count as video games? If so then Wizard101 is my game.', 'Trazodone helps me get to sleep', 'Agreed, life sucks', 'I tried that, heres how it ended...http://www.reddit.com/r/UnsentLetters/comments/ywbwq/to_someone_who_didnt_love_back/', 'Yea it does. I cant spend 15 minutes just talking small talk. I Hyperactive behavior to talk of bigger things, things I know.', 'Sounds Hyperactive behavior life with Crohn Disease disease and being on meth...cept for the ambitious parts Hyperactive behavior leaving the house and asking for help.Happy Birthday', 'Seems Hyperactive behavior the only time anyone cares is when they want a dollar, and even then my money isnt good enough. I used to smoke a lot of weed and even thats dried up because no one wants me around. When I was everyday stoner I didnt care about not having anyone.Ive got no Phobia, Social skills; always turning the conversation into how I can relate with my own experiences then the other loses interest. Ive tried changing this but its so engrained that I always fall back to it when I dont know what to say...even doing here. I feel guilty talking about myself but cant help it.', 'insightful', 'Nobody cares enough', 'Someone should know, thats why.']

Ideation

user-430

['The only advice I can give you is to force yourself into Phobia, Social situations. Ive always been an introvert and I always hated the fact that I could not make friends. Hopelessly looking for a magical solution, Ive tried to read up on Phobia, Social interaction, persuasion and seduction.Basically the only thing I do to feel better and that helps me progress, is forcing myself into Phobia, Social situations. It maybe seems as not much, but just talking to people makes you understand yourself and others in a deeper sense. Just go out, do something and focus on having a good experience. When you take the bus, smile at people you Hyperactive behavior. If they smile back, youll feel different. Talk to a random stranger about a random thing and see what happens. Worst case, theyll move on, best case, youll have a new friend and maybe a girlfriend.Eventually, youll meet someone that will be worth the challenge and youll have romance.', 'Go outside, talk to someone, magic can happen.', 'You deserve to live, you deserve good. Im sorry this has happened to you. Please go to the police or find a real life person and talk about what has happened. Dont drown in the pain, you are a good person and deserve to be treated right.If you ever need a talk about anything, PM me. Im a random person on the internet that cares about your wellbeing.', 'Same story over here, except I started taking classes again a couple of years later and managed to get my degree.', 'I used to be Depressed mood and thought the same thing about death. Ive decided to stop actively looking for death, but still welcome it when it shows it face.Lives not easy for everyone. If you need a talk, PM me.', 'We all do strange things because of many reasons. Experimenting is not bad, but you have to accept the fact that sometimes you do things you will regret.The OCD definitely enlarges feelings of Guilt and feeling "dirty". I suggest you talk to someone (maybe a counsellor) about the lingering Guilt.You are not a bad person! We all did things we regret and we all have our scars. Today is the day you can make everything worthwhile. Get up and be the good person that I know you are!', 'Dont believe that for a second!Things may seem difficult right now, but it will be better in a while. Time does heal all wounds.', 'Congratulations! Lots of small steps will make giant leaps.And never forget: Youre awesome!', 'Maybe finding a greater goal in life would help make things better?', 'The same thing happened to me, but was lucky enough to go back to uni and graduate. Hold on! Life is filled with opportunities and people are here to help!', 'So am I!', 'Super idea!', 'Dont worry. Teenage life is rough on most people. It isnt always easy, but the best thing you can do is: be yourself. Like minded people always find each other and people Hyperactive behavior real people with real personalities, not jersy shore dickheads. Remember: things will get better.Normally I wouldnt recommend using comebacks or so, because usually it only makes things worse. Or they have a better comeback to break yours or they get violent. One thing that I sometimes do is basic body language that says I dont care about them and theyre not worth my time.For example: look them straight in the eyes, move your eyes slowly to their feet, and look back up. Then just turn around and go on Hyperactive behavior nothing ever happened.']

Ideation

user-337

['As far as dealing with something fucked up Hyperactive behavior what your going through my story is completely different but I know your pain. 3 months ago I was standing in a hospital room with my 2 dead sons who had just been born an hour earlier. I was in complete Shock as they had urgently rushed my wife into and OR and I had no idea what the fuck was going on. She got through alive but had some horrible near death experience. That and losing our twins was enough to make some huge changes in her outlook. I know shes Depressed mood and Im pretty sure she wants to leave me.', 'Im 30 and am still waiting for a chance to help someone through some of the experience Im gained through certain hardships. Eventually I found I strength in "hey the world around me has shit on me so much and in so many ways but Im here and I have this (sunset, meal, house... whatever I was thankful for at the time)." I still forget it sometimes, Im even still Depressed mood to some people because Im Stress about meaningless stuff sometimes. But if life can kick you when youre down and youre still here wanting to do good by others... youre a strong person.Buddhism, eh? I havent studied much but there was this one time. Someone had given me a copy of the Teachings of Buddha while I was hitchhiking. Didnt think much of it (really more focused on being messed up). However one night I ended up stranded in the middle of nowhere, no food, I had lost my sleeping bag partying in the last city I was in. I was scared, hungry, helpless and lonely. I started reading about the Shakyamuni Buddha (as it was the only book I had) and it just brought me such peace and comfort. I dont know why. I havent read any since Buddhism but whatever it was that night it warmed part or my heart/soul or whatever. ', 'Well I cant imagine you would pray and then think "Wow, I enjoy praying so much suddenly life feels great." People at the hospital wouldnt really make that much of a difference by telling you not to either. In fact, Im just some random on the internet so whatever I say is fairly pointless too.Im not here in this subreddit because I feel great about life or could tell you everything will be okay. Im giving myself 1 month to try and fix my life then, if that doesnt work, a couples months to work through my bucket list. In the meantime Ive made myself a silver space suit and am going to go around places dancing to daft punk. Ive taken up graffiti. This world can be boring and Depressed mood but if Im going to leave Im going to enjoy whatever time I have left.', 'Wow! Ok, this is intriguing stuff. "his curator lands among the adjectivesof your favorite city" To be honest I was just enjoying r/trees and the depth of the first poem was so beyond my current state. Give me some time to connect with this and Ill reply with how I experienced it. Maybe sometime Sunday.', 'No, it doesnt get better for some people. But those people also mindlessly go through the same day doing the same thing for the rest of their life. Tell me, what Abnormal behavior things have you done? If youre going to kill yourself think of how free you are; you can do anything you want because nothing matters. You dont have to Anxiety about fucking up your future, offending people or anything. Take a couple days to do things differently than you do everyday, take some time to be free. ', 'The best poets had little connecting them with other human beings. Would you share anything with us?', 'Dont Anxiety about disappointing your family right now. Focus on yourself. Stop spending all your time at home.Where did you run away to? Did you just hide at a friends or did you go adventuring? Are you still in school now or are you off for the summer?', 'I often feel disconnected with the world even though Im not specifically suffering in anyway. Remember the days where maybe you just walking along listening to music (or something else seemingly insignificant). Maybe youll see some leaves swirl in the wind or a stranger does something nice and suddenly everything feels right. ', 'Today I lost a family member to Suicide. I honestly hadnt seen him for years and we were never close. I know he went through hard times, divorce, losing his wife, hardly seeing his kids and then losing his job (only remaining purpose in his mind I suppose) leading up to it.My wife and I have also been through many hard times. Were together and its better but its taken a whole lot (including one attempt on my part but I really just couldnt do it).Maybe you know you can win your wife back but you should also know you can put your best into it and it may not work. If youre thinking "If I cant be with her Ill die" youll probably lose her because thats denial and hopeless. If youre thinking about killing yourself then you are free from risk, you can be selfless, adventurous, spontaneous and thrilling because if it doesnt work out theres nothing worse that can happen compared to what youre thinking about. Just dont be obsessively Abnormal behavior and obliviously hopeful and things will get better. ', 'Hey, I just came over to Suicide watch because I need to talk to someone whos struggling. Im very sorry to hear about your wife and I Irritable Mood seriously sorry. I have tears for you brother and wish I cold just give you a hug and say it will get better. EDIT: Im going to keep going below but I just wanted to say that first.', 'When I was in Drug abuse school I was that kid who would run away all the time. I just couldnt deal with my problems and there was nobody to help me. Running away isnt a good solution because if you just run away youre not dealing with anything. On the other hand if you go and spend some good time alone, maybe deal with some challenges (finding places to eat, sleep, etc.) and just being with yourself, its really good for your mind and self. Its not anything wrong with you thats making you feel Depressed mood, its the world around you. If you get some interesting time to yourself youll find youre stronger and more lovable than you would have imagined. ', 'Dont Anxiety about contributing to the lives of others... not yet anyway. In the hardest of times theres really only ever ourselves to deal with. Lots of times focusing on others or surrounding yourself with others detracts from self (especially when you dont see value in yourself). Years ago I had what I thought was a good sized, solid group of friends. Ive always had issues relating to others and the world around me but found through drugs and partying people found me entertaining. When my drug use became a problem I quickly realized how few friends I actually had. People who I had seen every day for years, saw me in a time of need and decided to ignore me entirely as it would be too uncomfortable for them to try and help.There is a reason for you to exist but neither you or I know what that is right now. Even your post title shows a strength and intuitiveness thats not really common. Youre at an extremely low point yet still thinking of the importance of helping others. Theres a stupid saying "calm seas dont make good sailors." Just Hyperactive behavior an easy life wont make a good person.You can get through this. I dont know how but I know you will. And one day someone will cross your path who youll be able to contribute to their life in a positive manner *only* because you understand this pain. If you need to vent, PM me anytime. I may not respond right away but if your plans are long term-ish we at least have that much time to get to know each other better.My name is Atomyk and I dont know you but I love you.', 'Well this doesnt sound written to me but I have gone through something similar. Most of the time people get to be blissfully ignorant of their own weaknesses and short comings. Every once and a while someone Hyperactive behavior yourself will do something so stupid they can no longer ignore these issues. Sometimes it ruins a person and sometimes it stars a journey into the deepest layers of self becoming in touch with your weaknesses, fears and truly being aware of self. From there you see all the walls, masks and games youve made to protect yourself and youll start recognizing the Muscle Weakness and the walls in others. From there you can really become an amazing, warm and loving person. Its quite a trip my friend but if you take it you can be one of those radiant people that others feel a connection with just through simple small talk. ']

Ideation

user-236

['It gets better. Your wasting your life. A lot of people have been where you are and made better lives for themselves. If you dont want to see that though theres nothing we can do to help you. Buck up dont fuck up', 'There isnt any point to anything so why end it?So what if none of the socially constructed ideas of the meaning of life really mean anything? Does that really change anything or just your perception of it?Was parkour the only thing that really made you want to keep living? Dont you think that there might be something in life that could appeal to you at the same level that parkour does?We only get one shot. Were only here for a short time and then we can spend the rest of our time in hell, in the dirt or whatever the fuck you believe. Why rush it? Why try and force something that will happen naturally? The world is shit. Humans are mostly shit. But that doesnt mean there arent the good parts. Smoke a bowl, eat some food and revel in the fact that you do exist and that you are here. Does it matter that you lack any identifying factors from those around you? Does it matter who gives a shit about your name after youre dead?Being in high school is hard. Its not just the people. Its the anxiety. Its the feeling that your entire life will be as shitty as it is then. That is a full possibility. I thought it would end in high school but its my first year of college and it isnt different. I know exactly how you feel with people. I get them. Women are often attracted to me but I feel like i cant connect with others like they do to me. I know someone else just like this as well and Ive had the exact same conversation with him where we ask: "whats the point?". There isnt a point. Theres two doors for you to travel through now. One is certain. We both know what happens when we die. Nothing. We were dead for the infinite amount of time that came before our births. Dont bullshit yourself. The other door is uncertain. You dont know where it will lead or if it will even be good. But you dont know! If there is nothing that you can fathom that could be behind the door of uncertainty that can make you happy then sure. Pick the other door. You just better be fucking sure and not do this after drinking while on anti depressants next to daddys gun closet. We all know how its going to end. For me I just hope its not full of regret. One fucking shot dude ']

Supportive

user-207

['I get what you mean and no. I dont have a single person.', 'Ive been to the psych ward 2 times and have seen many professionals. Putting on a face is so hard. Trust me Ive tried so fucking hard to get better. I dont want this life. I dont choose this for myself who would? But after 4 years of my life being meds, nap, and appointments i think i should give up. I cant take this anymore. Its obvious i cant better with out medication and i dont want to have to pay 400$ a month to stay sane and well. Thats money that could be used for my little brother to go to school and my mom to take a vacation. Its not fair that i have to live this life and its not fair i have to drag my family down with me. They have missed out on so much and it kills me. ', 'I have piercings but its not the same', 'I have met the most amazing person seriously. He means the world to me. And hes taking me away from here. We are getting our own place and hes helping me pay for school. But i cant rely on him only because i hide my Pain from him. My parents have always been awful. Everyone in the family hates my parents. My dad is an abusive manipulative drug addict and my Mom is a fucking bitch. ', 'Absolutely worthless', 'No', 'Addiction. Its more addicting then any drug for me. So amazing.', 'Serve clinical Depression. Manic biploar disorder. Severe social anxiety. My life is falling apart. Things are only getting worse as time goes on. I dont eat anymore. Everything is fine for about .05 seconds when i wake up then i realize what my life is. That or getting high. ', 'I know it is. But there is nothing i can do. Im moving out soon. Well i might be.im not sure if i can do it. I dont want to burden him. He tells me that i wont but thats all Ive ever been told so thats i can believe. If i dont leave ill die and i dont want to leave because i dont want to Pain him. I cant take the abuse here and i cant go. I feel like there is no other way.', 'I just cant cope anymore', 'Ana,mia, self harm, psychosis, bipolar, anxiety, paranoia, and depression', 'Im faking it because they dont understand. Ive tried to talk to them and when i freak out Im immature and Im a bitch and a burden and "maybe i should just put you back in the hospital i cant deal with you" -momI fake my recovery so i dont get shit everyday or put back into the place that made me worse.', 'ive been to both hospitals. Many psychiatrists and nothing helps. I feel so hopeless and just kinda done. ', 'Its the best feeling in the world. I dont even cut just because Im sad. I do it because i cant stop. It makes the bad feelings go away and the good feelings feel even better. Its better then coke, pills, weed, cigarettes, alcohol. Makes everything okay.', 'Its been so long since happiness i cant even remember a before. And as for what led me to this point I dont know where to start. ', 'My brain produces basically no serotonin. Like seriously its not there. No amounts of exercise and eating right will fix. Maybe rise it a tiny bit. But i need meds. Not cheep ones either. I cant ask any one to pay for them. It would be so much better for everyone if i just ended it.', 'idk. i dont like that kinda pain. i kite doing it myself']

Behavior