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let 's be honest here . <repeat> the real reason why the great irish potato famine happened was because the irish figured out that they could also eat the potatoes .
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a gay muslim walks into a bar . <repeat> he ordered shots for everyone .
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what do you call a smart black person ? nonexistent .
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a man walks into a bar and asks for an obscure beverage : ' hey , do you serve blacks lager by any chance ? ' the waiter replies : ' no we do n't ' the man says : ' yeah neither would i they start throwing their shit at each other after a pint or two '
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why are the black man 's eyes always red after sex ? the mace .
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why do nt jews like the internet ? because they always got roasted by nazis
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what did hitler say to the defeated jewish cowboy ? reich for the sky !
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shopkeeper runs the numbers . fifteen skinheads chased a pakistani into a shop and proceed to kick seven flavours of shit out of him . eventually , the police arrived and arrested everyone . one of the coppers walked over to the shop assistant and asked if he saw it all happen . when the clerk replied , " yes , " the cop asked why he did n't help out . " i thought fifteen was enough , " came the reply .
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the young homeless girl was delighted when i asked if i could take her home . she was n't too excited when i walked off with her cardboard box .
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you can tell a lot about a man by the car he drives for example , if it 's a black man , it 's not his car .
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how to pick up chicks how do you pick up a black chick ? noose . how do you pick up a mexican chick ? border patrol . how do you pick up a muslim chick ? body bag . how do you pick up a jewish chick ? dustpan and brush . how do you pick up white chicks ? flunitrazepam .
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jewish jokes what 's the difference between a jew and a stiff nipple . <repeat> othing because they both disappear after hot shower
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what 's a mexicans favourite sport ? cross country
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what do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus ? i do n't know but it 's damn good at picking cotton .
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what do you call a mentally handicapped jew ? aushwistic .
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i got arrested for killing a black man . they charged me for impersonating a police officer .
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i knew a guy who died in a terrorist attack . <repeat> his last words were " allahu akbar "
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i guess bradley manning really is a woman i mean , how else could he fuck up killing himself ?
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i like my women like my wine aged <number> years and stored in the cellar
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why are aspirins white ? because they work
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how do you make a jew prematurely ejaculate ? pay for dinner
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is the glass half full or half empty ? i really do n't know , because there 's different ways to look at it : - optimism : the glass is half full . - pessimism : the glass is half empty . - feminism : the glass is raping me .
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what is the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest ? i can turn on a suicide vest .
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what 's the difference between a jew and a bullet ? a bullet can escape the chamber
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what phrase do black men always love to hear ? " you are not <allcaps> the father ! "
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how do you starve a black man . <repeat> put his food stamps under his work boots .
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you loose your black friend in the dark , where do you lose your muslim friend ? in an explosion
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what 's the worst thing about being told you have alzheimer 's ? it dosen't happen at once
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what 's black and white and rolls down a hill ? a maori and a seagull fighting over a fish head .
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fat chicks . <repeat> make uggs look like socks .
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why do negros dance to the left ? because they have no rights .
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what is the difference between a black person and a bench ? at least a bench can support a family
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a black woman has seven sons ; jerome , jerome , jerome , jerome , jerome , jerome and jerome . how does she distinguish between them ? by their last names .
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how do you pickup a jewish girl ? broom and dustpan .
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what is the usual woman 's response to a black guy 's pickup line ? rape ! <allcaps>
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my weed is like the qur'an . <repeat> i burn it until i get stoned .
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what do you call a muslim feminist ? dead .
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so the federal government said we are no longer allowed to call people from indiana " indianians " . <repeat> now we must refer to them as " indyots " .
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why do black people take so long to check out at the grocery store ? mixers in one transaction , booze in the other
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alabama where eharmony and ancestry are the same website .
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when i was in t - ball as a kid , i could tell my coach was catholic as soon as i joined the team from the way he molested me the same way my priest did . i mean like to a t.
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Girls I have dated can never estimate measurements. Just make sure you never date a female carpenter.
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I wish GPS' had an avoid ghetto" setting!"
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That place was infested with black people.
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Sorry , that must be my Black coming out.
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Some guy in my school started talking that way randomly, along with some other effeminate mannerism. Funny, when he came out and we all just said we know. [...] I read somewhere that your true accent is the accent you speak when you are drunk or angry as the cognitive load present in putting on a fake accent vanishes or weakens
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I just don't understand it. I think you must just be doing it for attention. When this phase is over and you go back to putting effort into your appearance, you can be treated with respect.
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Don't worry about Mr. ________. He's just extremely Jewish.
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She should be the employeer, and she needs to be a Mexican looking for a cleaning job.
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Old woman:: "Schools shouldn't offer free lunches to kids, since that means their parents just take advantage, and don't bother trying to find jobs to support their kids." Me:: "So you think we should allow kids to starve?!" Woman's husband:: "You see [myname], if you give them handouts, these people don't work. When I got out of high school, if you wanted to eat, you had to find a job. Nobody has any work ethic anymore." At a party. Made me feel like I was talking to a compassion-less brick wall.
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Person cutting my hair:: So are you seeing anyone? Me:: Not since things ended with my last boyfriend. It was complicated, he was from Afghanistan... Person cutting my hair:: And he was a terrorist? I was going to say that a close family member had died in a bombing and he had to go back to Kabul. But I guess terrorist works?
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You're pretty for a black girl.
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She's a girl, of course she has mood swings.
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There's African Americans and then there's black people. There's a difference. Like, Oprah is an African American, but some random black guy off the street doesn't deserve the title, you know?
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You can't play with them - they don't speak English.
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Surveying gender is easy because there's only male and female.
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But you are too strong to be raped.
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Believe me, my son is NOT gay. He has never once touched a Barbie, he's built like a linebacker, and he's a real man's man.
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No, can you get one of the boys to carry that out? It's too heavy for you.
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Wait, can I catch your Asperger's?
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Bisexual people don't exist. Gay people just say that so they can walk down the hall with a girl holding hands.
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Your mom is Brazilian isn't she? Maybe she could come to the school sometime for gym and teach the class how to dance samba!
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You're a girl. You're not expected to know where it is.
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I'm male, and am asking this question to non-binary identified people. Why do you give so much of a crap? Why can't you just lighten up, let the thread happen, and ignore it?
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Person 1:: That's not your real hair, you're fully black! Person 2:: It's fake, stop trying to convince us that black people can have long hair! Two people in my class talking about my mid-back length curly hair, two weeks ago. I'm a 17 year old Eritrean (East African) female in London. It made me feel disappointed, enraged, but mostly, shocked by their ignorance and outright lack of manners.
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Oh my God! Yea, that shooting at Haas last week was so crazy! I feel like I go to a ghetto school now!
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I like you, you don't act gay.
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Cool story, babe. Now make me a sandwich.
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While talking to a co-worker over our break... Co-Worker:: Why do you have all those State Park brochures? Me:: I want to get into camping. I never did much of that growing up. Co-Worker:: You should find an outdoorsy guy to date! Then he can teach you all that stuff. I am a queer woman who is not interested in men.
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You might want to think about losing weight if you want to get married and have children. Men are very visual creatures.
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No offense, but that's seriously gay.
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I'm not going to screen you for STDs because you aren't really at risk as a lesbian. But then again, I don't really know how you people have sex.
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I SAID A NORMAL NAME......AMERICAN!!
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Lol, Asian gay guys are too girly, I suppose.
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Doctor:: How did this happen? Me:: My mother pushed me down some stairs when I told her that I'm a lesbian. Doctor:: Oh, that's understandable then.
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Walks into a post office to buy stamps. Me (Hmong American):: Hello, I would like to get the pixar stamps. Clerk:: *Takes out Chinese New Year Stamps, while smiling like she made my day* I think you'll like these. Me:: *Looks at her and the stamps...* No, it's okay. I'll just get the pixar ones. Clerk:: *Pushes the stamps forward* Awkward silence of me thinking... Me:: Okay *Buys and walks away* Clerk:: Xie xie WTF?! with a tickle in my tummy... Did this just really happen to me...?
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You only got into [my university] because you're Native American AND Mexican. I had to work harder to get into this same honors program, and that's not fair.
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You mean your boyfriend coded it up in a week!
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Not all gay men are sissies, but all sissies are gay.
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You're going to be the expert on all things African American.
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Co-worker's facebook status:: Not sure how the guy sitting next to me in class can smell so bad and still be alive. First comment:: Is he Indian?
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Find yourself an Asian girl. She'll be more docile.
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Yeah, it's like when black people dye their hair blonde and wear neon colors. It just doesn't work!
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Jihad is one of the Five Pillars of Islam. The whole thing is basically founded on going out and killing people for G-d.
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Don't pick that up, you're a girl. Let one of the boys do that.
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You're actually very pretty. Most dark skinned girls don't have your looks.
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You haven't seen the Godfather movies?! You are not really a man if you haven't seen them.
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Of course I love you, I just prefer the straight part of you to the gay part.
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Doing a Physics degree is no way to get yourself a husband!
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H&R Block employee when my best friend (who's black) and I went to get our taxes done together:: "Employed?" Me:: "Yes." H&R:: "Any children?" Me:: "No." H&R, turns to my friend:: "Okay, and you. Employed?" Him:: "Yes." H&R:: "Any children?" Him:: "No." H&R:: "Are you sure?" Him:: "Um..." H&R:: "Just checking." Him:: "Yes, I'm sure."
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There are scholarships available solely for black men, black women, only women, Hispanic men and women...but if there was a scholarship that only a white man could apply for, I bet it would cause an uproar. Just sayin'. Is this fair in today's day and age? What did my generation do to oppress any specific group of people? Isn't it time for equality across the board?
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Hahaha, you're so funny! You're not asexual! There's no such thing! Humans are MADE for sex! You just haven't had GOOD sex yet! Someday you'll meet the right guy and you'll want to screw his brains out, and then you'll remember how insane you were to ever say you're asexual!
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So how much Indian ARE you? I mean, you don't look it.
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*gasps* You've NEVER had taiyaki* before? You're not really Japanese!
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So you're really not into men? Like, really really not into men? Are you sure?
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Classmate:: So, which one of your parents is black and which is white? Me:: My mom is white and my dad is black. Classmate:: (trying to by funny) So, your mom was a rape victim? I was 17 years old.
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I just think that the feminist movement glorifies obesity. It should focus on being healthy, because what it's doing now is just as bad as the mainstream media!
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I wouldn't call myself a feminist anymore. I think I'm a realist now. I think maybe we're in denial and that men and women aren't necessarily capable of the same things. Maybe women need to make some sacrifices.
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God made Adam and Eve, not Adele and Eve.
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Don't become one of those militant gay people.
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