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Alphaeus very much, when you were his virgin bride? » «Oh! Mary!... I rejoiced at dawn saying: “Another night has gone by. One less to wait”. I rejoiced at sunset saying: “Another day is over. Nearer is my entrance into his house”. And as the sun set, I used to sing like a skylark thinking: “He will soon be here”. And when I saw him come, looking as handsome as my Judas- that is why Judas is my favourite-but with the eyes of a deer in love like my James, oh! then I no longer knew where I was! And when he greeted me saying: “My sweet bride! ” and I was able to say him: “My Lord”, then I... I think that, if at that moment I had been crushed by a heavy cart or struck by an arrow, I would have felt no pain. And later!... When I became his wife... Ah!... » Mary is lost in the ecstasy of recollections. She then asks: «But why that question? » «To explain to you what My prayers were for Me. Multiply your feelings by one hundred, raise them to thousands powers, and you will understand what prayer and the wait for the hour of prayer have always been for Me... Of course, I think that, even if I did no pray in the peace of the grotto or of My room, but I was intent on the work of a woman; My soul prayed incessantly... But when I was able to say: “Well, the hour to collect My thoughts in God is coming”, My heart would burn throbbing fast. And when I got lost in Him... then... No... I cannot explain this to you. When you are in the light of God you will understand... 3All 615. 3 that had been lost for three days... And it was even more heart­ rending than not having My Son any more... And Satan worked on these two wounds, laid one on top of the other, the death of My Son and the abandonment by God, creating a third wound: the terror of the lack of faith. Mary, I am fond of you and you are relative of Mine. Later, you will tell your sons, the apostles, so that they may persevere in their apostolate and triumph over Sa­ tan. I am sure that, if I had accepted the doubt, if I had yielded to Satan's temptation and I had said: “It is not possible for Him to rise from the dead” denying God-because to say that was the same as denying God with His Truth and Power-such a great Redemption would have come to nothing. I, the new Eve, would have bitten once again at the forbidden fruit of pride and of spir­ itual sense, and I would have destroyed the work of My Redeem­ er. The apostles will be continuously tempted thus: by the world, 215

615. 4by the flesh, by power, by Satan. Let them be firm against all tortures, and the corporal ones will be the lightest, so that they may not destroy what Jesus has done. » «You, Mary, should tell my sons... What do You expect Your poor sister-in-law to say?! 4Oh! however! If they had come! That they should run away at first, well!... But later! » «You know that Lazarus and Simon were ordered to take them to Bethany. Jesus knows everything... » «Yes... But... Oh! when I see them, I will reproach them se­ verely. They behaved cowardly. That everybody else should be­ have so is understandable, but not them, my sons! I will never forgive them... » «Forgive them, forgive them... It was a moment of dismay... They did not believe that He could be captured. He had said so... » «That is why I will not forgive them. They knew. So they were already prepared. When one knows something, and believes the person who tells it, nothing surprises any more! » «Mary, also to all of you He said: “I will rise”. And yet... If I could lay your breasts and heads open, on your hearts and on your brains I would see written: “It is not possible”. » «But, at least... Yes... It is difficult to believe... But we re­ mained on Calvary. » «Through the gratuitous grace of God. Otherwise we would have run away as well. Longinus, did you hear him? He said: “horrible thing”. And he is a warrior. We, women, all alone with a boy, we resisted through God's direct help. So do not boast about it. It is no merit of ours. » «And why was it not given to them? » «Because they will be the priests of tomorrow. So they must know. They must know, having experienced it themselves, how easy it is for a follower of a Creed to lapse into abjuration. Je­ sus does not want priests like those who are so little so, that they have been His most obstinate enemies... » «You speak of Jesus as if He had already come back. » «See? You also admit that you do not believe. So how can you reproach your sons? » Mary of Alphaeus does not know what to say in reply. She re­ mains with her head lowered and mechanically moves some ob­ jects. She finds the little lamp and goes out with it and comes 216

back in after lighting it, and she puts it in its usual place. Mary is sitting once again near the stretched out veronica. The veronica, in the yellow flickering little flame of the oil lamp acquires a particular liveliness, and the lips and eyes seem to move. «Are You not taking anything? » asks Mary's sister-in-law, who is somewhat mortified. «A little water. I am thirsty. » Mary goes out and comes back... with some milk. «Do not insist. I cannot. Some water, yes. There is no more water in Me. I think I have no more blood either. But... » 5There is a knock at the door. Mary of Alphaeus goes out. Peo­ ple can be heard talking in low voices in the hall, then John looks into the room. «John. Have you come back? Still nothing? » «Yes. Simon Peter... and Jesus' mantle... together... At Geth­ semane. The mantle... » John falls on his knees and says: «Here it is... But it is all torn and covered with blood. The marks of the hands are Jesus'. Only He had them so long and thin. But it has been torn by teeth, it is very clear that this is the mouth of a man. I think it must have been... it must have been Judas Iscariot, be­ cause near the spot where Simon Peter found the mantle, there was a piece of Judas' yellow tunic. He went back there... later... before committing suicide. Look, Mother. » Mary has done nothing but caress and kiss the heavy red man­ tle of Her Son, but, pressed by John, She opens it and sees the marks of blood, dark against the red of the Blood, and the tears of the teeth. She trembles and whispers: «How much blood! » She does not seem to see anything but that. «Mother... the ground is red with it. Simon, who ran up there in the early morning hours, says that there was still fresh blood on the leaves of the grass... Jesus... I do not know... He did not seem to me to be wounded... Where did so much blood come from? » «From His Body. In the bitter anguish... Oh! Jesus total Vic­ tim! Oh! My Jesus! » Mary weeps so distressingly, with an ex­ hausted lament, that the women appear at the door and look in and then they go away. «This, this while everybody was aban­ doning You... What were you doing, while He was suffering «His first agony? »615. 5 217

«We were sleeping, Mother... » John weeps. 615. 6 6«Was Simon there? Tell Me. » «I had gone to look for the mantle. I had thought of ask­ ing Jonah and Mark... But they have run away. The house is closed and everything has been abandoned. So I went down to the walls, to go along all the road we had gone on Thursday... I was so tired that evening, and so grieved, that now I could not remember where Jesus had taken off His mantle. It seemed to me that He had it, then that He did not have it... On the spot where He was arrested there was nothing... Where we three were, nothing... I went along the path taken by the Master... And I thought that also Simon Peter was dead, because I saw him there, all crouched against a rock. I shouted. He raised his head... and I thought he had gone mad, so changed was he. He uttered a cry and tried to run away. But he staggered, blinded by his weeping, and I got hold of him. He said to me: “Leave me. I am a demon. I denied Him. As He said... and the cock crowed and He looked at me. I ran away... I ran here and there through the country, and then I found myself here. And, see? Jehovah made me find His Blood here to accuse me. Blood everywhere. Blood everywhere! On the rock, on the ground, on the grass. I had it shed. Like you, like everybody. But I denied that Blood”. He seemed delirious. I tried to calm him and take him away. But he did not want. He said: “Here. Here. To guard this Blood and His mantle. And I want to wash it with my tears. When there is no more blood on the cloth, perhaps I will go back among the living, beating my breast and saying: 'I have denied the Lord! '”. I told him that You want­ ed him. That You had sent me looking for him. But he would not believe me. Then I told him that You wanted also Judas, to for­ give him, and that You were suffering as You were no longer able to do so, because of his suicide. Then he wept more calmly. He wanted to know everything. And he told me that there was still fresh Blood on the grass and that the mantle had been maltreat­ ed by Judas, of whose tunic he had found a piece. I let him talk and talk, and then I said: “Come to the Mother”. Oh! how much I had to insist to convince him! And when I thought that I had suc­ ceeded in convincing him and I got up to come he did not want to come any more. He came only when it was getting dark. But 218

when he arrived beyond the gate, he hid once again in a deserted vegetable garden saying: “I don't want people to see me. I bear written on my forehead the word: Denier of God”. Now that it is completely dark, I have succeeded in dragging him here. » 7«Where is he? » «Behind that door. » «Let him come in. » «Mother... » «John... » «Do not reproach him. He is repentant. » «Do you still know Me so little? Let him come in. » John goes out. He comes back. Alone. He says: «He dares not. Try to call him Yourself. » And Mary calls him kindly: «Simon of Jonah, come. » Noth­ ing. «Simon Peter, come. » Nothing. «Peter of Jesus and Mary, come. » A sharp burst of weeping. But he does not go in. Mary stands up. She leaves the mantle on the table and goes to the door. Peter is crouched outside. Like a dog with no master. He cries so loud and all curled up, that he cannot hear the noise of the door that opens squeaking or the shuffling of Mary's sandals. He realises that She is there when She bends so low as to take his hand, pressed against his eyes, and She compels him to stand up. She goes back into the room dragging him like a little boy. She closes the door and locks it, and bent with sorrow, as he is with shame, She goes back to Her seat. Peter kneels at Her feet and weeps without restraint. Mary caresses his grey hair, wet with the perspiration of sorrow. Noth­ ing but such caress, until he calms down. 8Then, when at last Peter says: «You cannot forgive me. So do not caress me. Because I have denied Him», Mary says: «Peter, you have denied Him. That is true. You had the cour­ age of denying Him in public. The cowardly courage of doing that. The others... Everybody, except the shepherds, Manaen, Nicodemus and Joseph and John, has only been cowardly. They have all denied Him: the men and women of Israel, except a few women... I will not mention the nephews and Alphaeus of Sarah. They were relatives and friends. But the others!... And they did not even have the satanic courage of lying to save themselves, or the spiritual courage of repenting weeping, or the more elevated615. 7 615. 8 219

one of acknowledging their error in public. Your are a poor man. Or rather, you were. As long as you relied on yourself. Now you are a man. Tomorrow you will be a saint. But even if you were not what you are, I would have forgiven you the same. I would have forgiven also Judas, to save his soul. Because the value of a soul, also of one only, deserves every effort to overcome disgust and resentment, to the extent of being crushed thereby. Bear that in mind, Peter. I will repeat it to you: “The value of a soul is such that, at the cost of dying through the effort of suffering to have it close to us, one must hold it so, in one's arms, as I am holding your grey-haired head, if one realises that, by holding it so, it can be saved”. So... Like a mother who, after the father's punishment, presses the head of her guilty son to her heart, and more with the words of her distressed heart that beats with love and sorrow, than with the father's blows, reforms and achieves. Peter of My Son, poor Peter who have been, like everybody, in the hands of Satan in this hour of darkness, and you were not aware of it, and you think that you had done everything by yourself, come, do come here, on the heart of the Mother of My Son's children. Here Satan can no longer harm you. Here storms abate, and while waiting for the sun, My Jesus, Who will rise to say to you: “Peace to you, My Peter”, the morning star ris­ es, pure, beautiful, and making everything it kisses pure and beautiful, as happens on the clear waters of our sea in the fresh spring mornings. That is why I have wished so much to have you. At the foot of the Cross, I was tortured because of Him and of you and-how come you did not perceive it?-and I called your spirits so loud that I think they really came to Me. And closed in My heart, or rather, laid on My heart, like the loaves of the of­ fering, I held them under the bath of His Blood and His tears. I was able to do so, because, in John, He made Me the Mother of all His progeny... How much I longed for you!... That morning, in that afternoon, at night and the following day... Why, poor Peter, wounded and trampled on by the Demon, did you keep a mother waiting so long? Do you not know that it is the task of mothers to tidy up, cure, forgive and lead their children? I will lead you to Him. 9Would you like to see Him? Would you like to see His smile, to be convinced that He still loves you? Would you? Oh! then move 220615. 9

away from My poor lap of a woman, and lay your forehead on His crowned forehead, your lips on His wounded lips and kiss your Lord. » «He is dead... I shall never be able. » «Peter. Reply to Me. Which do you think is the last miracle of your Lord? » «The Eucharist. No. That of the soldier cured there... there... Oh! do not remind me!... » «A faithful, loving strong woman met Him on Calvary and wiped His Face. And He, to tell us how much love can do, im­ pressed the image of His Face on the linen cloth. Here it is, Peter. A woman achieved that, in an hour of hellish darkness and of di­ vine wrath. Simply because she loved. Bear that in mind, Peter, for the hours in which the Demon will seem to you to be stronger than God. God was the prisoner of men, He was already over­ whelmed, condemned, scourged, He was already dying... And yet, as God is always God even among the most cruel persecu­ tions, and if the Idea is struck, God Who inspires it is untouch­ able, so God to deniers, to unbelievers, to the men of the foolish “whys”, of the guilty “it cannot be”, of the sacrilegious “what I do not understand is not true”, replies, without any words, with this cloth. Look at it. 10One day, you told Me, you said to Andrew: “The Messiah showed Himself to you? It cannot be true”, and then your human reason had to bend before the power of the spirit, that saw the Messiah where reason did not see Him. On another occasion, on the stormy sea, you asked: “Shall I come, Master? ” and then, when you were half way, on the agitated wa­ ter, you became doubtful saying: “Water cannot hold me” and, with your doubt as ballast, you were almost drowned. Only when the spirit that believed prevailed against human reason, you were able to find the help of God. On another occasion you said: “If Lazarus has been dead four days, why have we come? To die in vain? ”. Because with your human reason you could not suppose any other solution. And your reason was disproved by the spirit, that by pointing out to you, through the man raised from the dead, the glory of Him Who had raised him, showed you that you had not gone there in vain. Another time, many other times, upon hearing your Lord speak of death, and a cruel death, you said: “That will never happen to You! ” And you can see how615. 10 221

615. 11your reason has been given the lie. I now wait to hear the word of your spirit in this last case.. » «Forgive me. » «No. Another word. » «I believe. » «Another one. » «1 don't know... » «1 love. Peter, love. You will be forgiven. You will believe. You will be strong. You will be the Priest, not the Pharisee who op­ presses and has nothing but formalism and lack of active faith. 11Look at Him. Dare to look at Him. Everybody has looked at Him and venerated Him. Even Longinus... And would you not be able? And yet you were able to deny Him! If you do not recognise Him now, through the fire of My motherly loving sorrow that joins you and reconciles you, you will never be able again. He ris­ es from the dead. How will you be able to look at Him in His new splendour, if you do not know His face in the passage from the Master you know, to the Triumpher Whom you do not know? Be­ cause sorrow, all the Sorrow of ages and of the world, has worked on Him with chisel and mallet in the hours from Thursday even­ ing to the ninth hour on Friday. And they have changed His Face. Previously He was only the Master and Friend. Now He is the Judge and King. He has ascended on His throne to judge. And He has put on His crown. He will remain so. The only difference is that after His glorious Resurrection, He will no longer be the Man Judge and King, but the God Judge and King. Look at Him. Look at Him while Humanity and Sorrow veil Him, in order to be able to look at Him when He triumphs in His Divinity. » Peter at last raises his head from Mary's lap and looks at Her, with his eyes red with weeping, in the face of an old child, who is desolate and surprised at the evil he has done and at all the good he finds. Mary compels him to look at his Lord. Then while Peter, as if he were before a living face, says moaning: «Forgive me, for­ give me! I do not know how it happened. What happened. I was not myself. It was something that made me be not myself. But I love You, Jesus! I love You, my Master! Come back! Come back! Do not go away like that, without telling me that You have un­ derstood me! », Mary repeats the gesture already made in the se­ 222

pulchral room. Standing, Her arms outstretched, She looks like the priestess at the moment of the offerings. And as there She of­ fered the immaculate Host, here She offers the repentant sinner. She is indeed the Mother of saints and sinners! 12Then She makes Peter stand up and continues to console him. And She says to him: «I am now happier. I know that you are here. Go now where the women and John are. You all need rest and food. Go. And be good... » as if he were a boy. And while in the house, which is calmer this second night af­ ter His death and is inclined to go back to the human customs of sleep and food, and has the tired resigned appearance of dwell­ ings where the survivors recover slowly from the blow of death, Mary alone wants to stay up, motionless in Her place, awaiting, in prayer. Always. Always. Always. For the living and for the dead. For the just and the guilty. For the return. The return. The return of Her Son. Her sister-in-law wanted to stay with Her. But now she is sound asleep, sitting in a corner, with her head leaning against the wall. Martha and Mary go in twice, but then, sleepy as they are, they withdraw into a nearby room, and after a few words, they fall asleep as well... And farther away, in a room as small as a plaything, Salome and Susanna are sleeping, while, on two mats laid on the floor, Peter and John are sleeping noisily. The former still sobbing mechanically at intervals in his snoring, the latter with the smile of a child who is dreaming of a happy vi­ sion. Life resumes its activity and the flesh its rights... Only the Morning Star shines wakefully, with Her love watching near the image of Her Son. And the night of Holy Saturday passes by thus. Until the crow of a cock, at the first light of daybreak, makes Peter jump to his feet with a shout. And his frightened sorrowful cry awakes those who were sleeping. The truce is over for them and sorrow begins all over again. As for Mary, it only increases the anxiety of Her wait. 615. 12 223

The Glorification of Jesus and Mary. 616. The morning of the Resurrection. Mary's prayer. 1st April 1945. 1The women resume working at the ointments, which, during the night, in the cool of the court-yard, have become a thick po­ made. John and Peter think that they ought to tidy up the Supper- room, cleaning the tableware, but putting everything back, as if the Supper were just over. «He told us» says John. «He had also said: “Do not fall asleep”! He had said: “Do not be proud, Peter. Do you not know that the hour of the trial is about to come? ” And... and He said: “You will deny Me... ”» Pe­ ter weeps again, while with deep grief he says: «And I did deny Him! » «Enough, Peter! Now you have collected yourself. Enough of this torture! » «No, never enough. If I should become as old as the ancient patriarchs, if I should live the seven hundred or the nine hun­ dred years of Adam and of his first grandchildren, I would never cease having this torture. » «Do you not hope in His Mercy? » «Yes, I do. If I did not believe in that, I should be like the Is­ cariot: a desperate man. But even if He forgives me from the bos­ om of His Father, where He has gone back, I will not forgive my­ self. I! I! I who said: “I do not know Him”, because at that moment it was dangerous to know Him, because I was ashamed of being His disciple, because I was afraid of being tortured... He was going towards His death... and I thought of saving my life. And to save it, I rejected Him, like a woman in sin, who, after giving birth to a child, rejects the fruit of her womb, which is danger­ ous to keep, before her unaware husband comes back. I am worse than an adulteress... worse than... »616. 1 225

616. 2 616. 32Mary Magdalene, attracted by their shouts, comes in. «Do not shout like that. Mary can hear you. She is so exhausted! She has no strength left, and everything hurts Her. Your useless un­ seemly shouts renew Her torture of what you have been... » «See? See, John? A woman can order me to be quiet. And she is right. Because we, the males sacred to the Lord, have only been able to lie or to run away. The women have been brave. You, a little more than a woman, so young and pure you are, were able to remain. We, the strong ones, the males, have fled. Oh! how the world must despise me! Tell me, tell me, woman! You are right! Put your foot, on my lips that lied. On the sole of your sandal there is perhaps a little of His Blood. And only that Blood, mixed with the mud of the road, can give the denier a little forgiveness, a little peace. I must get accustomed to the scorn of the world! What am I? Tell me: what am I? » «You are full of pride» replies calmly the Magdalene. «Sor­ row? Also. But you must believe that out of ten parts of your sor­ row, five, I do not want to offend you by saying six, five are of your sorrow of being one who can be despised. And I will re­ ally scorn you if you continue only to moan and get into a fren­ zy, just like a foolish woman! What is done is done. And no un­ seemly shouting can repair it or cancel it. It only serves to draw attention and beg for undeserved pity. Be manly in your repent­ ance. Do not shout. Act. 3I... you know who I was... But, when I realised that I was more despicable than vomit, I did not fall into fits of convulsions. I acted. In public. Without being indul­ gent towards myself and without asking for indulgence. Did the world despise me? It was right. I had deserved it. The world said: “A new whim of the prostitute”? And it called blasphemy my re­ course to Jesus? It was right. The world remembered my previous behaviour that justified such remarks. So? The world had to con­ vince itself that the sinner Mary no longer existed. By means of facts, I convinced the world. Do the same and be quiet. » «You are severe, Mary» objects John. «More with myself than with other people. But I admit it. I do not have the light hand of the Mother. She is Love. I... oh! I! I lashed my feelings with the whip of my will. And I will do so even more. Do you think that I have forgiven myself for being lustful ? No, I have not. But I only say so to myself. And I will 226

always repeat it to myself. I shall die consumed with this se­ cret regret of having been my own corrupter, with this incon­ solable sorrow of having profaned myself and not having been able to give Him but a trampled on heart... See... I have worked more than all the others at the balms... And with greater cour­ age than the others I will uncover Him... Oh! God! what will He be like now! (Mary of Magdala grows pale at the very thought of it). And I will cover Him with fresh balms, removing those which are certainly all tainted on His countless wounds... I will do so, because the other women will look like convolvuli after a downpour... But it grieves me to have to do it with these hands of mine accustomed to caressing lustfully, and to have to approach His Holiness with this stained body of mine... I should like... I should like to have the hand of the Virgin Mother to accomplish this last unction... » Mary is now weeping silently, without sobbing. How different she is from the theatrical Mary always shown to us! She is weep­ ing noiselessly, as she did on the day of her forgiveness in the house of the Pharisee*. 4«Are you saying that... the women will be afraid? » Peter asks her. «Not afraid... But they will be upset seeing His Body, which is certainly already rotten... swollen... black. And then, and this is certain, they will be afraid of the guards. » «Do you want me to come? With John? » «Ha! Certainly not! We women are all going. Because, as we were all up there, so it is fair that we should all be round His death bed You and John will remain here. She cannot remain alone!... » «Is She not coming? » «We are not letting Her come! » «She is convinced that He will rise from the dead... What do you think? » «I, after Mary, am the one who believes more. I have always believed that that could be. He said so. And He never lies... Nev­ er!... Oh! before I used to call Him Jesus, Master, Saviour, Lord... Now. now I feel that He is so great that I do not know, I dare not * in the house of the Pharisee, in 236. 616. 4 227

616. 5give Him a name any more... What shall I say to Him when I see Him?... » «But do you really think that He will rise?... » «Another one! Oh! By dint of telling you that I do believe and of hearing you say that you do not believe, I will end up by not believing any more myself! I have believed and I do believe. I have believed and a long time ago I prepared a garment for Him. And tomorrow, as tomorrow is the third day, I will bring it here, to have it ready... » «But if you say that He will be black, swollen, filthy? » «Filthy, never. Sin is filthy. But... of course! He will be black. So? Was Lazarus not already putrid? And yet he rose. And his body was healed. But, if I say so!... Be quiet, you misbelievers! My human reason says also to me: “He is dead and will not rise”. But my spirit, “His” spirit, because I have received a new spirit from Him, shouts resounding like blares of silver trumpets: “He will rise! He will rise! He will rise! ”. Why do you hurl me like a little boat against the cliffs of your doubts? I believe! I believe, my Lord! Although torn by grief, Lazarus has obeyed the Mas­ ter and has remained in Bethany... I, who know who Lazarus of Theophilus is, a strong man, not a fearful leveret, can appreci­ ate the sacrifice he made by remaining in the shade and not near the Master. But he obeyed. And by such obedience he has been more heroical than if with weapons he had snatched Him from armed men. I have believed and I believe. And I am staying here. Waiting like Her. But let me go. It is daybreak. As soon as there is enough light, we will go to the Sepulchre... » And the Magdalene goes away, her face flushed with weeping, but always brave. 5She goes back into Mary's room. «What was the matter with Peter? » «A nervous fit. But he has got over it. » «Do not be severe, Mary. He suffers. » «So do I. But You know that not even once have I asked a pit­ ying caress of You. He has already been cured by You... On the contrary, I think that You alone, Mother, are in need of a bal­ sam. My holy, beloved Mother! But take heart... Tomorrow is the third day. We shall lock ourselves in here, the two of us: His lovers. You, the holy Lover; I, the poor lover... But I love Him as 228

much as I can, with my whole self. And we will wait for Him... The rest, those who do not believe, we will lock them in over there, with their doubts. And I will put many roses here... I will have the chest brought here today... I will go to the mansion house and I will instruct Levi. All these horrible things must disappear! Our Resurrected Lord must not see them... So many roses... And You will put on a new dress... He must not see You so. I will comb Your hair, I will wash Your poor face disfigured by tears. Eternal maid, I will act as Your mother... I shall have, at last, the joy of taking motherly care of a child more innocent than a new-born baby! Dear! » and with her emotional exuber­ ance, the Magdalene presses to her breast the head of Mary Who is sitting, she kisses and caresses Her, she tidies the light locks of Her hair ruffled behind Her ears, with her linen dress she wipes the fresh tears that stream down Her cheeks again, again, always... 6The women come in with lights and amphorae and large­ mouthed vases. Mary of Alphaeus is carrying a heavy mortar. «It is not pos­ sible to stay outside. There is a weak wind that blows out the lamps» she explains. They place themselves on one side. They lay all their things on a long narrow table, then they give the final touch to their balms by mixing the already heavy pomade of essences in the mortar with a white powder, handfuls of which they take from a little sack. They mix working with all their energy and then they fill a largemouthed vase. They place it on the floor. They repeat the same operation with another vase. Perfumes and tears fall on the resins. Mary Magdalene says: «This is not the unction that I hoped I should be able to prepare for You. » Because it is the Magdalene who, being more skilled than the other women, has controlled and directed the composition of the perfume, which is so strong that they decide to open the door and leave the window ajar over the garden, which is just beginning to appear in the early light of dawn. They all weep more loudly after the remark made by the Mag­ dalene in a subdued voice. They have finished. All the vases are full. 616. 6 229

616. 7 616. 8They go out with the empty amphorae, the mortar no longer useful, and many lamps. Two only are left in the little room and they tremble, they seem to be sobbing as well, with the flickering of their light... The women come back again and they close the window, be­ cause it is a rather cold dawn. They put on their mantles and they take large sacks into which they put the vases of the balm. 7Mary stands up and looks for Her mantle. But they all crowd round Her convincing Her not to come. «You are not fit to stand, Mary. You have not had any food for two days. Only a little water. » «Yes, Mother, We will do it quickly and well. And we shall soon be back. » «Be not afraid. We will embalm Him like a king. Look what precious balm we have prepared! And how much of it!... » «We will not neglect any part of the body or any wound and we will arrange Him properly with our hands. We are strong and we are mothers. We will place Him like a child in a cradle. And the others will only have to close the place. » But Mary insists: «It is My duty» She says. «I have always tak­ en care of Him. Only these last three years that He was in the world, I surrendered the care of Him to other people, when He was far away from Me. Now that the world has rejected and dis­ owned Him, He is Mine again. And I am once again His servant. » Peter, who had approached the door with John, without be­ ing seen by the women, runs away upon hearing these words. He runs to some secluded corner to bewail his sin. John remains near the door. But he does not say anything. He would like to go as well. But he makes the sacrifice of remaining with the Mother. 8Mary Magdalene takes Mary back to Her seat. She kneels in front of Her, she embraces Her knees raising her sorrowful loving face towards Her, and she promises: «With His Spirit, He knows and sees everything. But with my kisses I will tell His Body Your love and Your wish. I know what is love. I know what spur, what hunger it is to love, what nostalgia of being with who­ ever is our love. And that applies also to any base love that looks like gold, but is filth. And when she who has sinned can under­ stand what is the holy love for the living Mercy, Whom men did not know how to love, then she can understand better what is 230

Your love, Mother. You know that I know how to love. And You know that He said so, that evening of my true birth, on the shores of our serene lake, that Mary knows how to love much. Now this exuberant love of mine, like water that overflows from a tilt­ ed basin, like a flowery rosery that streams down a wall, like a flame that finding timber spreads and grows, has poured onto Him, and from Him-Love has drawn fresh power... Oh! my pow­ er of loving was not able to take His place on the Cross!... But what I was not able to do for Him-to suffer, and bleed, and die in His place, amid the mockery of all the world, happy, happy, happy to suffer in His place, and I am certain that the thread of my poor life would have been burnt more by the triumphant love than by the infamous scaffold, and from the ashes there would have sprung up the fresh snow-white flower of the new virgin life, unaware of everything that is not God-all that I was not able to do for Him, I can still do for You..., Mother, Whom I love with all my heart. Rely on me. I, who in the house of Simon, the Pharisee, knew how to gently caress His holy feet, now, with my soul that opens more and more to Grace, with greater gentleness will be able to caress His holy limbs, to dress His wounds em­ balming them more with my love, with the balm taken from my heart wrung by love and sorrow, than with the ointment. And death will not spoil that body that has loved so much and is so much loved. Death will flee, because Love is stronger. Love is invincible. And I, Mother, with Your perfect love, with my total love, will embalm my King of Love. » Mary kisses this impassioned woman who, at last, has been able to find so much passion, and She yields to her entreaties. 9The women go out taking a lamp. One only is left in the room. 616. 9 The Magdalene is the last to go out, after a last kiss to the Mother Who remains. The house is all dark and silent. The road is still dark and sol­ itary. John asks: «Do you really not want me? » «No. You may be useful here. Goodbye. » John goes back to Mary. «They did not want me... » he says in a low voice. «Do not feel mortified. They are with Jesus. You with Me. John, let us pray a little together. Where is Peter? » «I don't know. Somewhere in the house. But I have not seen 231

616. 10 616. 11him. He is... I thought that he was stronger... I am suffering, too, but he... » «He has two sorrows. You have only one. Come. Let us pray also for him. » And Mary slowly says the «Our Father». Then She caresses John saying: «Go to Peter. Do not leave him all alone. He has been so much in darkness during these hours, that he cannot stand even the feeble light of the world. Be the apostle of your lost brother. Begin your preaching with him. On your road, and it will be a long one, you will always find people like him. Begin your work with your companion... » «But what shall I say?... I don't know.... Everything makes him weep... » «Mention His precept of love to him. Tell him that he who fears only, does not yet know God sufficiently, because God is Love. And if he says to you: “I have sinned”, reply to him that God has loved sinners so much that He sent His Only-Begotten Son for them. Tell him that we must reply with love to so much love. And love makes one trust in the very good Lord. That trust does not make us be afraid of His judgement, because through it we have recognised the divine Wisdom and Goodness, and we say: “I am a poor creature. But He knows. And He gives me the Christ as guarantee of forgiveness and as a supporting pillar. My misery is overcome by my union with the Christ”. It is in Jesus' name that everything is forgiven... Go, John. Tell him that. I am staying here, with My Jesus... » and She caresses the veronica. John goes out, closing the door behind him. 10Mary kneels down, as She did the previous evening, face to face with the veil of the veronica. And She prays and speaks to Her Son While She is strong enough to give strength to other people, when She is alone She bends under Her overwhelming cross. And yet, now and again, like a flame no longer oppressed by the bushel, Her soul rises towards a hope that cannot die in Her. On the contrary it grows as hours pass. And She expresses Her hope also to the Father. Her hope and Her request. 11(You can put here the prayer of last year, the lament of this Passover dawn, dated 21st February 1944, leaving it exactly as i is, because no change is to be made to it). 232

[21st February 1944] 12«Jesus, Jesus! Are You not coming back yet? Your poor Moth­ er can no longer put up with the idea that You are lying dead over there. You said it, but no one understood You. But I understood You! “Destroy the Temple of God and I will rebuild it in three days”. This is the beginning of the third day. Oh! My Jesus! Do not wait till it ends to come back to life, to Your Mother, Who needs to see You alive in order not to die remembering that You are dead, Who needs to see You handsome, healthy, triumphant, in order not to die remembering You in that state in which I left You! 13Oh! Father! Father! Give My Son back to Me! That I may see Him come back as a Man and not as a corpse, a King, not a con­ demned man. Later, I know, He will come back to You, in Heav­ en. But I shall have seen Him cured of so much evil, I shall have seen Him strong after so much weakness, I shall have seen Him triumphant after struggling so much, I shall have seen Him God after so much humanity suffered on behalf of men. And I shall feel happy even if I lose the possibility of being near Him. I shall know that He is with You, Holy Father, I shall know that He is forever free from Sorrow. Now, instead, I cannot forget that He is in a sepulchre, that He is there, killed because of all the sorrow they have given Him, that He, My Son-God, is sharing the des­ tiny of men in the dark of a sepulchre, He, Your Living Son. Father, Father, listen to Your servant. Because of that “yes”... I have never asked anything of You for My obedience to Your will; it was Your Will, and Your Will was Mine; I did not have to exact anything for the sacrifice of My will to Yours, Holy Father. But now, but now, for the sake of that “yes” that I said to the mes­ senger Angel, o Father, listen to Me! He is now free from tortures, because He accomplished eve­ rything with the agony of three hours after the tortures of the morning. But I have been for three days in this agony. You can see My heart and You hear its throbs. Our Jesus said that no feather falls off a bird without You seeing it, that no wild flow­ er dies without its agony being consoled by You with Your sun­ shine and Your dew. Oh, Father, I am dying of this grief! Deal with Me as You do with the sparrow that You reclothe with a new feather, and with the flower that You warm and quench its thirst616. 12 616. 13 233

616. 14 616. 15in Your pity. I am dying frozen by sorrow. I have no more blood in My veins. Once it became all milk to nourish Your Son and Mine; now it has all turned into tears because I have no Son any more. They have killed Him, they have killed Him, Father, and You know how! 14I have no more blood! I have shed it all with Him on Thurs­ day night, on the sorrowful Friday. I am as cold as one whose veins have been severed. The sun no longer shines for Me, be­ cause He is dead, My holy Sun, My blessed Sun, the Sun born of My womb for the joy of His Mother, for the salvation of the world. I have no more refreshment, because I no longer have Him, the sweetest fountain for His Mother, Who drank His Word, Who quenched Her thirst with His presence. I am like a flower in dry sand. I am dying, I am dying, holy Father. And I am not afraid to die, because He also is dead. But what will these little ones do, the little herd of My Son, so weak, so frightened, so fickle, if there is no one to support it? I am noth­ ing, Father. But, by the desires of My Son, I am like a formation of armed men. I defend, I will defend His Doctrine and His herit­ age as a she-wolf defends her wolf-cubs. I, a ewe-lamb, will be­ come a she-wolf to defend what belongs to My Son, and conse­ quently, what is Yours. 15You have seen it, Father. Eight days ago this town stripped its olive-trees, stripped its houses, stripped its gardens, stripped its inhabitants and became hoarse shouting: “Hosanna to the Son of David; blessed He Who comes in the name of the Lord”. And while He was passing walking on carpets of branches, of garments, of clothes, of flowers, the citizens pointed Him out to one another saying: “He is Jesus, the Prophet from Nazareth in Galilee. He is the King of Israel”. And while those branches had not yet withered and their voices were still hoarse through so much singing hosannas, they changed their cries into accu­ sations and curses and requests for death, and of the branches cut off for the triumph they made cudgels to strike Your Lamb, Whom they were taking to His death. If they have done so much while He was among them and spoke to them, and smiled at them, and looked at them with His eyes that melt hearts, and even stones tremble when looked at by them, and He helped them and taught them, what will they do when He comes back to You ? 234

His disciples, You have seen them. One betrayed Him, the oth­ ers ran away. He was no sooner struck than they ran away like cowardly sheep, and they did not even stay around Him while He was dying. One only, the youngest, remained. Now comes the elder. But he already denied Him once. When Jesus is no longer here to watch him, will he persist in his Faith? 16I am a nonentity, but a little of My Son is in Me, and My love 616. 16 supplies what I lack and annuls it. So I become something use­ ful for the cause of Your Son, for His Church, that will never find peace and needs to strike deep roots in order not to be uprooted by winds I am the one who will take care of it. Like a diligent gardener I will watch that it grows up strong and straight in its dawn. Then I shall not be worried about dying. But I cannot live if I remain any longer without Jesus. Oh! Father, Who have abandoned Your Son for the welfare of men, and then You have comforted Him, because You have cer­ tainly received Him on Your bosom after His death, do not leave Me any longer in abandonment. I suffer it and offer it for the wel­ fare of men. But console Me, now, Father. Father, mercy! Mercy, Son! Mercy, divine Spirit! Remember Your Virgin! » [1st April 1945] Later, prostrated on the floor, Mary seems to be praying with Her attitude as well as with Her heart. She is really a poor crushed thing. She looks like that flower parched to death of which She has spoken. She does not even notice the shaking of a short but strong earthquake that makes the master and mistress of the house shout and run away, while Peter and John, as white as death, drag themselves as far as the threshold of the room. But as they see Her absorbed in Her prayer, inattentive, unaware of what is not God, they withdraw closing the door, and frightened as they are, they go back into the Supper room. 235

617. The Resurrection. 6X7. 1 617. 21st April 1945. 1I see again* the joyful and powerful Resurrection of Christ. In the vegetable garden all is silent and glittering with dew. Above it the sky is becoming a clearer and clearer sapphire shade, after leaving its dark-blue hue studded with stars, that through the whole night had watched over the world. Dawn is driving back, from east to west, these still dark zones, like a wave that during the high tide advances more and more, cov­ ering the dark beach and replacing the grey-dark shade of the damp sand and of the reef with the blue sea water. A few little stars do not want to die yet and peep more and more faintly through the wave of the white greenish light of dawn, a white shaded with grey, like the leaves of the drowsy olive-trees that form a crown on that not far away hillock. And then it is wrecked, submerged by the wave of dawn, like land overflowed by water. And there is a star less... And then also another one less... and another one, and another one. The sky loses its herd of stars and only over there, to the remote east, three, then two, then one remain to contemplate that daily won­ der, which is the rising dawn. And then, when a pink thread draws a line on the turquoise silk of the eastern sky, a breath of wind passes over leaves and herbs and says: «Wake up. The day has risen. » But it awakes on­ ly leaves and herbs, that shiver under their dewy diamonds and rustle gently while the falling drops resound like arpeggios. The birds have not awakened yet among the thick branches of a very tall cypress that seems to dominate like a lord in his kingdom, or in the thick entanglement of a laurel hedge that shelters from the north wind. 2The guards, weary, cold, sleepy, in various postures are watching over the Sepulchre, the stone of which has been rein­ forced round its edge, as if it were a buttress, with a thick layer of lime, on the opaque white of which stand out the large rosettes of red wax of the Temple seal, impressed with others directly on the fresh lime. * I see again, as already “seen” and described, in a more concise way, on 21st Feb­ ruary 1944. 236

The guards must have lit a little fire during the night, because there are ashes and half-burnt fire-brands on the ground, and they must have played and eaten, because scattered around there are remains of food and some small clean bones, which have cer­ tainly been used for some game, like our dominoes or our chil­ dren's games of marbles, which are played on a coarse board traced on a path. Then they became tired and left things as they are now, and they tried to find more or less comfortable postures to sleep or to keep watch. 3In the clear sky, where to the east there is now a complete­ ly rosy zone, which is spreading out more and more widely, but where, however, there are no sunbeams as yet, a very bright me­ teor appears, coming from unknown depths, and it descends like a sphere of fire of unsustainable splendour, followed by a glowing trail, which perhaps is nothing but the persistence of its brightness in our retinae. It descends at a very high speed towards the Earth, shedding such an intense phantasmagoric light, frightful in its beauty, that the rosy light of dawn vanishes, outshone by such white incandescence. The guards, astonished, raise their heads, also because with the light there comes a mighty, harmonious, solemn rumble that fills the whole of Creation with its roar. It comes from heaven­ ly depths. It is the alleluia, the angelical glory, that follows the Spirit of' Christ, which is returning to His glorious Flesh. The meteor clashes on the useless closure of the Sepulchre, tear it off, throws it on the ground, and it strikes with terror and noise the guards placed as jailors of the Master of the Universe, producing with its return to the Earth a new earthquake, as it had cause one when this Spirit of the Lord fled from the Earth. It enters the dark Sepulchre that becomes all bright with its in­ describable light and while it remains suspended in the still air, the Spirit is infused again into the Body, motionless under the funereal bandages. All this takes place not in a minute, but in the fraction of a minute, so fast have been the appearance, descent, penetration and the disappearance of the Light of God... 4The «I want» of the divine Spirit to its cold Body is noiseless. It is uttered by the Essence to the immobile Matter. But no word is perceived by the human ear. The Flesh receives the order and617. 3 617. 4 237

obeys it with a deep sigh... Nothing else for some minutes. Under the Sudarium and the Shroud, the glorious Body is recomposed in eternal beauty, it awakes from the sleep of death, it comes back from the «nothing» in which it was, it lives af­ ter being dead. The heart certainly awakes and gives its first throb, it propels the remaining frozen blood through the veins and at once creates the full measure of it in the empty arteries, in the immobile lungs, in the dark brain, and brings back warmth, health, strength, thought. Another moment, and there is a sudden movement under the heavy Shroud. It is so sudden that, from the moment He certain­ ly moves His folded arms to the moment He appears standing, imposing, splendid in His garment of immaterial matter, super- naturally handsome and majestic, with a gravity that changes and elevates Him, and yet leaves Him exactly Himself, the eye has hardly time to follow the development. And now it admires Him: so different from what the mind remembers, tidied up, without wounds or blood, only blazing with the light that gushes from the five wounds and issues from every pore of His skin. 5When He takes His first step-and in the movement the rays emanating from His Hands and Feet halo Him with beams of light: from His Head haloed with a garland, made with the countless little wounds of the crown, but they no longer bleed but only shine, to the hem of His tunic, when, opening His arms, that were folded across His chest, He uncovers the zone of very bright luminosity that filters through His tunic inflam­ ing it like a sun at the height of His Heart-then it is really the «Light» that has taken a body. Not the poor light of the Earth, not the poor light of the stars, not the poor light of the sun. But the Light of God: all the heavenly brightness that gathers in one Being and grants Him its inconceivable azure as eyes, its golden fire as hair, its angelic whiteness as garment and com­ plexion and all that exists, but cannot be described by human words, the supereminent ardour of the Most Holy Trinity, that outshines with its ardent power every fire in Paradise, ab­ sorbing Him in Itself to generate Him again at each moment of the eternal Time, Heart of Heaven that attracts and spreads His blood, the countless drops of His incorporeal blood: the blessed souls, the angels, everything Paradise is: the love of God, the 238617. 5

love for God, all this is the Light that is, that forms the Risen Christ. When He moves, coming towards the exit, and the eye can see beyond His brightness, two most beautiful brilliances, but simi­ lar to stars compared with the sun, appear to me, one on this side, the other on the other side of the threshold, prostrated in the adoration of their God, Who passes by enveloped in His light, beatifying with His smile, and He goes out, leaving the funereal grotto and going back to walk on the earth, that awakes out of joy and shines in its dews, in the hues of herbs and roseries, in the countless corollas of apple-trees, that open, by a wonder, to the early sun that kisses them, and to the eternal Sun Who pro­ ceeds under them. The guards are there, shocked... The corrupt powers of man do not see God, whereas the pure powers of the universe-the flowers, herbs, birds-admire and venerate the Mighty One, Who passes by in a halo of His own Light and in an aureola of sunlight. His smile, His eyes that rest on flowers, on branches, that look up at the clear sky, everything becomes more beautiful. Softer and shaded than a silky rosery are the millions of petals forming a flowery foam on the head of the Conqueror. And brighter are the diamonds of the dew. And of a deeper blue is the sky reflect­ ing His refulgent eyes, and more joyful is the sun that with glad­ ness paints a little cloud blown by a light wind, that comes to kiss its King with scents stolen from gardens and with caresses of silky petals. Jesus raises His Hand and blesses all around Him, while the birds sing more loudly and the wind carries its scents, He dis­ appears from my sight, leaving me in a joy that cancels even the slightest remembrance of sadness and sufferings and hesitancy for tomorrow... 618. Jesus appears to His Mother. [21st February 1944] 1Mary is prostrated with Her face on the floor. She looks like 618. 1 a poor wretch. She looks like that withered flower of which She has spoken. 239

618. 2 618. 3The closed window is opens with a violent banging of the heavy shutters, and with the first ray of the sun, Jesus enters. Mary, Who has been shaken by the noise and has raised Her head to see which wind has opened the shutters, sees Her radi­ ant Son: handsome, infinitely more handsome than He was be­ fore suffering, smiling, lively, brighter than the sun, dressed in a white garment that seems woven light, and Who is advancing towards Her. She straightens Herself up on Her knees and crossing Her hands on Her breast, She says with a sob that is joy and grief: «Lord, God». And She remains thus, enraptured in contemplat­ ing Him with Her face all washed by tears, but made serene, pac­ ified by the smile and by the ecstasy. 2But He does not want to see His Mother on Her knees, like a servant. And He calls Her, stretching out His hands, from the wounds of which emanate rays that make His glorious Flesh even brighter: «Mother! » But it is not the sorrowful word of the conversations and the farewells before His Passion, or the heart­ rending lament of the meeting on Calvary and of the agony. It is a cry o triumph, of joy, of freedom, of rejoicing, of love, of grati­ tude. And He bends over His Mother, Who dare not touch Him, and He places His hands under Her bent elbows, and He lifts Her up, He presses Her to His Heart and kisses Her. Oh! Mary realises then that it is not a vision, that it is Her Son. Who has really risen, that it is Her Jesus, the Son Who still loves Her as a Son. And with a cry, She flings Her arms round His neck and She embraces and kisses Him, laughing in Her weeping. She kisses His Forehead, where there are no longer any wounds, His Head no longer unkempt and bloody, His shining Eyes, His healed Cheeks, His Mouth no longer swollen. She then takes His Hands and kisses their backs and palms, their radiant wounds, and She suddenly bends down to His Feet and uncovers them from under His bright garment and kisses them. Then She stands up, looks a Him, but dare not. 3But He smiles and understands. He uncovers His chest a lit­ tle and says: «And this one, Mother, are You not kissing it, this one that grieved You so much and that You alone are worthy to kiss? Kiss My Heart, Mother. Your kiss will cancel the last re­ membrance of what is sorrowful and will give Me that joy, which 240

My Joy of having risen from the dead still lacks. » And He takes the face of His Mother in His Hands and He lays Her lips on the lips of the wound of His Chest, from which streams of a very bright light are flowing. Mary's face is haloed by that light, flooded as it is with “its beams. She kisses and kisses, while Jesus caresses Her. She never tires of kissing. She looks like a thirsty woman whose mouth is attached to a fountain and who drinks from it the life that was escaping her. 4Jesus speaks now. «It is all over, Mother. You no longer have to weep over Your Son. The trial is over. Redemption has taken place. Mother, thanks for conceiving Me, for bringing Me up, for helping Me in life and in death. I heard Your prayers come to Me. They have been My strength, My grief, My companions in My journey on the Earth and be­ yond the Earth. They came with Me on the Cross and to Limbo. They were the incense that preceded the Pontiff, Who was going to call His servants and take them to the temple that does not die: to My Heaven. They have come with Me to Paradise, preced­ ing, like an angelical voice, the procession of the redeemed led by the Redeemer, so that the angels should be ready to greet the Conqueror, Who was returning to His Kingdom. They have been seen and heard by the Father and by the Spirit, Who smiled at them, as if they were the most beautiful flower and the sweetest song born in Paradise. They have been recognised by the Patri­ archs and by the new Saints, by the new, first, citizens of My Je­ rusalem, and I bring You their thanks, Mother, together with the kisses of their relatives, with their blessings and with that of Jo­ seph, the spouse of Your soul. The whole of Heaven sings its hosanna to You, Mother, Holy Mother! A hosanna that does not die, that is not a false one like the one given to Me a few days ago. 5I will now go to the Father in My human appearance. Para­ dise must see the Conqueror in His appearance of Man, by means of which He defeated the Sin of Man. But I will come again. I must confirm in the Faith those who do not yet believe and are in need to believe to lead the others to believe, I must fortify the618. 4 618. 5 241

618. 5 619. 1pusillanimous ones who will need so much strength to resist the world. Then I will ascend to Heaven. But I will not leave You alone. Mother, can You see that veil? In My annihilation, I still exhaled the power of miracle on Your behalf, to give You that comfort. But for You I will work another miracle. You will have Me, in the Sacrament, as real as when You carried Me. You will never be alone. But these past days You have been alone. But also that sorrow of Yours was required for My Re­ demption. Much is continuously to be added to Redemption, be­ cause much will be continuously created in the way of Sin. I will call all My servants to this redeeming participation. You are the one who by Yourself will do more than all the others together. But also this long abandonment was required. Now no longer so. I am no longer separated from the Father. You will no longer be separated from Your Son. And, by hav­ ing Your Son, You have our Trinity. A living Heaven, You will bring the Trinity to men on the Earth, and You will sanctify the Church, You, Queen of the Priesthood and Mother of the Chris­ tians. Then I will come to get You. And no longer shall I be in You, but You will be in Me, in My Kingdom, to make Paradise more beautiful. 5I am going now, Mother. I am going to make the other Mary happy. Then I will ascend to the Father. Then I will come to those who do not believe. Mother, Your kiss as a blessing. And My Peace to You as a companion. Goodbye. » And Jesus disappears in the sunshine that streams down from an early morning clear sky. 619. The pious women at the Sepulchre. 2nd April 1945. 1The women, in the meanwhile, after leaving the house are walking close to the wall, shadows in the shade. They are silent for some time, all muffled up and frightened in so much silence and solitude Then, recovering confidence seeing that the town is complete in calm, they group and dare to speak. 242

«Will the Gates be already open? » asks Susanna. «Certainly. Look over there at the first market-gardener who is going in with vegetables. He is going to the market» replies Salome «Will they say anything to us? » asks Susanna again. «Who? » inquires the Magdalene. «The soldiers, at the Judicial Gate. There... only few people are going in and even fewer are coming out... We shall rouse sus­ picion... » «So? They will look at us. They will see five women go­ ing towards the country. We could be also people who, after cel­ ebrating Passover, are going back to their villages. » «But... In order not to attract the attention of any malicious person, why do we not go out by another Gate and then we can go round along the walls?... » «We would go the long way round. » «But we shall be safer. Let us take the Gate of the Water... » «Oh! Salome! If I were you, I should choose the Eastern Gate! You would have to go a longer way round! We must make haste and go back soon. » It is the Magdalene who is so resolute. «Then another one, but not the Judicial Gate. Be good... »they all beg her. «All right. 2Well, since that is what you want, let us call on Johanna. She begged me to let her know. If we had gone straight there, we could have done without seeing her. But since you want to go a longer way round, let us call on her... » «Oh! yes. Also because of the guards placed there... She is well known and respected... » «I think we should call also on Joseph of Arimathea. He is the owner of the place. » «Why not! To avoid attracting people's attention, we will form a procession! What a timid sister I have! Rather, do you know what, Martha? Let us do this. I will go ahead and have a look. You will follow me with Johanna. I will stand in the middle of the road, should there be any danger, and you will see me. And we will come back. But I can assure you that the guards, seeing this, I thought of it (and she shows a purse full of money) will let us do everything. » «We will tell Johanna as well. You are right. » «Go then, and let me go. » «Are you going all alone, Mary? I will come with you» says619. 2 243

619. 3 619. 4Martha, who is afraid for her sister. «No. You will go with Mary of Alphaeus to Johanna's. Salome and Susanna will wait for you near the Gate, outside the walls. And then you will all come together along the main road. Good­ bye. » And Mary Magdalene cuts other possible comments short, as she goes away quickly with her bag full of balms and her mon­ ey in her breast. She flies, so fast she goes along the road, which is becoming more delightful in the first pink shade of dawn. She goes through the Judicial Gate, to be quicker. And no one stops her... 3The others watch her go, then they turn their backs to the crossroads where they were, and they take another one, narrow and dark, which near the Sixtus opens out into a wider road, where there are some beautiful houses. They part again, Salome and Susanna proceed along the road, while Martha and Mary of Alphaeus knock at the iron door and show themselves at the lit­ tle window (eye-hole) half opened by the porter. They enter and go to Johanna, who already up and all dressed in a very dark violet garment that makes her look even paler, is preparing some oils with her nurse and a maidservant. «Have you come? May God reward you. But, if you had not come, I should have gone by myself... To find comfort... Because many things have remained upset after that dreadful day. And, in order not to feel alone, I must go against that Stone and knock and say: “Master, I am poor Johanna... Do not leave me alone, You, too... ”» Johanna weeps silently but with deep desolation, while Esther, her nurse, makes large indecipherable gestures be­ hind the back of her mistress, while putting a mantle on her. «I am going, Esther. » «May God comfort you! » They leave the mansion house to join their companions. It is at this moment that the short but strong earthquake takes place, creating a panic again in the people of Jerusalem, still terror­ ised by the events of Friday. The three women retrace their steps precipitately, and they remain in the large hall, among maid­ servants and servants who are howling and imploring the Lord, fearing new shocks... 4... The Magdalene, instead, is just on the border of the path that takes one to the vegetable garden of Joseph of Arimathea, 244

when she is caught in the powerful and also harmonious roar of this heavenly sign, while, in the faint rosy light of dawn, that is advancing in the sky, where to the west a persistent star still re­ sists, and that makes fair the so far greenish light, a very bright light appears and descends like and incandescent wonderful globe, cutting the air in a zigzag course. Mary of Magdala is almost grazed and thrown on the ground by it. She bends for a moment whispering: «My Lord! » and then she straightens up like a stalk after the wind has passed by, and she runs towards the vegetable garden even faster. She enters it quickly, and goes towards the sepulchre in the rock as fast as a bird that is chased and is looking for its nest. But, no matter how fast she runs, she cannot be there when the heavenly meteor acts as a lever and as a flame on the seal of lime, placed in a reinforcement for the heavy stone, or when with the final crash the stone door collapses, causing such a shake that joins the one on the earthquake, which, although of a short dura­ tion, is so violent that it knocks the guards down as if they were dead. When Mary arrives, she sees the useless jailors of the Tri­ umpher thrown on the ground like a sheaf of mown corn. Mary Magdalene does not associate the earthquake with Resurrection. But looking at the spectacle, she thinks it is a punishment of God for the desecrators of Jesus' Sepulchre, and she falls on her knees" saying: «Alas They have stolen Him! » She is really disconsolate and weeps like a girl who has come, being sure that she would find her father whom she was looking for, and instead finds the house empty. 5She then stands up and runs away to go to Peter and John. 619. 5 And as she thinks of nothing but of informing the two, she for­ gets to go and meet her companions and remain on the road, but as far as a gazelle she goes back the road she came, she passes through the Judicial Gate, and flies through the streets, which are a little more crowded, and she rushes against the door of the hospitable house and knocks at it furiously. The mistress opens the door to her. «Where are John and Peter? » asks Mary Magdalene panting. «There» says the woman pointing at the Supper-room. Mary of Magdala enters and as soon as she is in, standing be-245

fore the two astonished men, and in her voice, kept low out of pity for the Mother, there is more anguish than if she had shout­ ed, she says: «They have taken the Lord away from the Sepul­ chre! I wonder where they have put Him! » and for the first time she staggers and is unsteady, and in order not to fall, she holds on whatever she can. «What? What are you saying? » ask the two. And panting she replies: «1 went ahead... to buy the guards... so that they would let us be. They are there like dead bodies... The Sepulchre is open, the stone is on the ground... Who? Who did it? Oh! come! Let us run... » Peter and John set out at once. Mary follows them for a few steps. Then she goes back. She seizes the mistress of the house, she shakes her, violent in her far-sighted love, and she shouts in her face: «Mind you do not let anybody go to Her (and she points at the door of Mary's room). Remember that I am your mistress. Obey and be silent. » Then she leaves her aghast and joins the apostles, who are striding towards the Sepulchre... 6... In the meantime Susanna and Salome, after leaving their companions and reaching the walls, are caught in the earth­ quake. Frightened, they take shelter under a tree and remain there, torn between their desire to go to the Sepulchre or to run to Johanna's. But love overcomes fear and they go towards the Sepulchre. They are still frightened when they enter the garden and see the senseless guards... they see a bright light come out of the open Sepulchre. Their fright increases and reaches its climax when, holding each other's hand to pluck up courage, they peep in from the threshold and in the dark sepulchral cave, they see a bright most beautiful creature, that smiling kindly greets them from the place where it is standing: leaning on the right hand side of the anointment stone, which, grey as it is, disappears be­ hind so much incandescent brightness. They fall on their knees, utterly astonished. But the angel speaks to them gently: «Be not afraid of me. I am the angel of the divine Sorrow. I have come to rejoice at its end. The sorrow of the Christ, His humiliation in death is over. Jesus of Nazareth, the Crucified Whom you are looking for, has risen from the dead. He is no longer here! The place where He 246619. 6

was laid is empty. Rejoice with me. Go. Tell Peter and the disci­ ples that He has risen and will precede you in Galilee. You will see Him there for a short time, as He said. » The women fall with their faces on the ground, and when they raise them, they run as if they were chased by a punishment. They are terrorised and they whisper: «We shall die now! We have seen the angel of the Lord! » They calm down a little in the open country and they consult with each other. What are they to do? If they relate what they have seen, they will not be believed. If they say where they come from, they may be charged by the Judaeans with the murder of the guards. No. They cannot say anything to friends or to en­ emies... Fearful, dumbfounded, they go back home along a different road. They go in and take shelter in the Supper room. They do not even ask to see Mary... And in there they think that what they have seen is nothing but a deception of the Demon. Humble as they are, they conclude that «it is not possible that they have been granted to see the messenger of God. It is Satan who want­ ed to frighten them to send them away from there. » They weep and pray like two little girls frightened by a night­ mare... 7... The third group, that of Johanna, Mary of Alphaeus and Martha, when they see that nothing new is happening, decides to go where their companions are certainly waiting for them. The go out into the streets, where by now there are frightened peo­ ple, who comment on the new earthquake connecting it with the event of Friday, and see also things which do not exist. «It is better if they are all frightened! The guards may be so as well and will raise no objection» says Mary of Alphaeus. And they walk fast towards the walls. 8But while they are going there, Peter and John, followed by Magdalene, have arrived at the garden. And John, who runs fast is the first to arrive at the Sepulchre. The guards are no longer there and neither is the angel. John, timid and sorrowful, kneels down at the open entrance to venerate and get some indication from the things he sees. But he only sees, heaped on the floor, the linen cloths placed on the Shroud. «There is really nothing, Simon! Mary has seen accu­169. 7 619. 8 247

rately. Come, come in, look. » Peter, who is breathless after so much running, goes into the Sepulchre. On the way he had said: «I will never dare to ap­ proach that place. » But now he thinks only of finding out where the Master may be. And he calls Him also, as if He might be con­ cealed in some dark corner. At this early hour in the morning it is still very dark in the deep Sepulchre, which receives light only from the opening of the entrance, where John and the Magdalene now cast a shad­ ow... And Peter finds it hard to see, and has to help himself with his hands to ascertain what the situation is... He touches, trem­ bling, the table of the anointment, and feels that it is empty... «He is not here, John! He is not here!... Oh! come here! I have wept so much that I can hardly see in this poor light. » John stands up and goes in. And while he does so, Peter dis­ covers the sudarium in a corner, folded diligently and within it the Shroud rolled up carefully. «They have really abducted Him. The guards were not here for us, but to do that... And we have let them do it. By going away, we have allowed that... » «Oh! where will they have put Him? » «Peter, Peter! This... is really the end! » The two disciples come out looking annihilated. «Let us go, woman. You will tell the Mother... » «I am not going away. I am staying here... Somebody will come... Oh! I am not coming... There is still something of Him here. The Mother was right... To breathe the air where He was is the only relief left to us. » «The only relief... Now you also can see that it was nonsense to hope... » says Peter. Mary does not even reply to him. She crouches on the ground, close to the entrance, and weeps, while the others go away slowly. 9She then raises her head and looks inside, and through her tears sees two angels, sitting at the head and at the foot of the anointment stone. Poor Mary is so stupefied in her fiercest strug­ gle between hope that is dying and faith that does not want to die, that she looks at them like one whose mind is completely blank, without even being surprised. The strong woman, who has resisted everything like a heroine, has nothing left but tears. 248619. 9

«Why are you weeping, woman? » asks one of the two shining young boys, because they look like very beautiful adolescents. «Because they have taken away my Lord and I do not know where they have put Him. » Mary is not afraid to speak to them. She does not ask: «Who are you? » Nothing. Nothing amazes her any more. She has al­ ready suffered everything that can astonish a human being. Now she is only a broken thing that weeps without strength or reserve. The angelical youth looks at his companion and smiles. And so does the other. And in a flash of angelical joy they both look outside, towards the garden all in bloom with millions of corol­ las that have opened at the first sunshine on the closely planted apple-trees of the orchard. 10Mary turns round to see whom they are looking at. And she 619. 10 sees a Man, most handsome, and I do not know how she does not recognise Him at once. A Man Who looks at her pitifully and asks her: «Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for? » It is true that Jesus is dimmed out of pity for the woman, whom emotions have exhausted and who might die from sudden joy, but I really wonder why she does not recognise Him. And Mary sobbing says: «They have taken my Lord Jesus! I had come to embalm Him while awaiting His resurrection... I gathered all my courage, my hope and my faith around my love... and now I cannot find Him any more... Or rather, I put my love around faith, hope and courage to defend them from men... but all in vain! Men have abducted my Love and with it they have deprived me of everything... O my lord, if you have taken Him away, tell me where you have put Him. And I will get Him... I will not tell anybody... It will be a secret between you and me. Look: I am the daughter of Theophilus, Lazarus' sister, but I am on my knees before you to implore you, like a slave. Do you want me to pay you for His Body? I will do so. How much do you want? I am rich. I can give you as much gold and as many gems as it weighs. But give it back to me. I will not denounce you. Do you want to strike me? Do so. Until I bleed, if you wish so. If you bear Him a grudge, let me expiate it. But give Him back to me. Oh! don't make me wretched with this misery, my lord! Have mercy on a poor woman!... Do you not want to do it for me? Then, do it 249

for His Mother. Tell me! Tell me where is my Lord Jesus. I am strong. I will take Him in my arms and I will carry Him like a child to safety. Lord... lord... you can see it... for three days we have been struck by the wrath of God for what was done to the Son of God... Do not add Desecration to Crime... » «Mary! » Jesus shines in calling her. He reveals Himself in His triumphant brightness. «Rabboni! » Mary's cry is really the «great cry» that closes the cycle of death. With the first one, the darkness of hatred en­ veloped the Victim with funereal bandages; with the second, the lights of love increased His brightness. And Mary stands up as her cry fills the garden, she rushes to Jesus' feet and would like to kiss them. Jesus moves her away, hardly touching her forehead with the tips of His fingers: «Do not touch Me! I have not yet ascended to My Father in this appearance. Go to My brothers and friends, and tell them that I am ascending to My Father and yours, to My God and yours. And then I will come to them. » And Jesus disap­ pears, absorbed by an unsustainable light. 11Mary kisses the ground where Jesus was and she runs to­ ward the house. She goes in like a rocket, because the main door is half open, to let the master pass, who is going to the foun­ tain; she opens the door of Mary's room and drops on Her breast shouting: «He has risen! He has risen! » and she weeps happily. And while Peter and John rush there, and Salome and Su­ sanna, still frightened, come from the Supper room and listen to her narration, Mary of Alphaeus with Martha and Johanna come in, from the street, and out of breath they say «that they have been there as well, and they saw two angels, who said that they were the Guardian of the Man God and the angel of His Sorrow, and ordered them to tell the apostles that He had risen from the dead. » And as Peter shakes his head, they insist say­ ing: «Yes. They said: “Why are you looking for the Living One among the dead? He is not here. He has risen from the dead, as He said when He was still in Galilee. Do you not remember? He said: 'The Son of man is to be delivered into the hands of sin­ ners to be crucified. But on the third day he will rise from the dead'”. » Peter shakes his head saying: «Too many things during these 250619. 11

days! They have been upset. » The Magdalene raises her head from Mary's breast and says: «I have seen Him! I have spoken to Him. He told me that He is ascending to the Father and then He will come. How handsome He was! » and she weeps as she had never wept, now that she no longer has to torture herself to oppose the doubt rising from eve­ ry side. But Peter and John are very doubtful. They look at each other and their eyes say: «Women's fancy! » Then also Susanna and Salome dare to speak. But the very inevitable difference in the details of the guards that first are there like dead bodies and then are not there, of the angels that sometimes are one and sometimes are two and did not show themselves to the apostles, of the two versions concerning Jesus' coming here or His preceding His disciples in Galilee, makes the doubt, and more than that, the persuasion of the apostles grow stronger and stronger. 12Mary, the blessed Mother, is silent, supporting the Magda­ 619. 12 lene... I do not understand the mystery of this maternal silence. Mary of Alphaeus says to Salome: «Let the two of us go back there. Let us see whether we are all intoxicated... » And they run out. The other women remain there, quietly derided by the two apostles, near Mary Who is silent, engrossed in a thought that each interprets in a personal manner, and no one realises that it is ecstasy. The two elderly women come back: «It is true! It is true! We have seen Him. He said to us, near Barnabas' vegetable garden: “Peace to you. Be not afraid. Go and tell My brothers that I have risen from the dead, and that they should go within a few days to Galilee. We shall be together again there”. That is what He said. Mary is right. We must inform those who are at Bethany, Joseph, Nicodemus, the most faithful disciples, the shepherds, we must go and do, and do... Oh! He has risen!... » and they all weep hap­ pily. «You are mad, women. Grief has upset you. The light has seemed an angel to you. The wind, a voice. The sun, the Christ. I do not criticise you. I understand you, but I can only believe what I have seen: the open empty Sepulchre, and the guards who have 251

619. 13 620. 1run away with the stolen Corpse. » «But if the very guards say that He has risen! If the whole town is in a turmoil and the Princes of the Priests are mad with rage, because the guards have spoken while running away ter­ rified! Now they want them to say something different and they are paying them for that. But it is already known. And if the Ju­ daeans do not believe in the Resurrection, they do not want to believe, many other people do believe... » «H'm! Women... » Peter shrugs his shoulders and is about to go away. 13Then the Mother, Who still has on Her heart the Magda­ lene, who is weeping like a willow-tree in a downpour, for her too great joy, and who kisses Her fair hair, raises Her transfig­ ured face and says a short sentence: «He has really risen. I have had Him in My arms and I kissed His Wounds. » She then bends over the head of the passionate woman and says: «Yes, joy is even stronger than sorrow. But it is only a grain of sand compared to what will be your ocean of eternal joy. You are blessed because you made your spirit speak above reason. » Peter dare not deny any longer... and with one of those sudden changes of the old Peter, who is coming back to light again, he says and shouts, as if the delay depended on the others and not on him. «Then, if it is so, we must let the others know. Those spread out in the country... look for them... take action... Come on, get a move on. If He really should come... let Him at least find us», and he does not realise that again he confesses that he does not believe blindly in His Resurrection. 620. Comment on the Resurrection. [21st February 1944] 1Jesus says: «The fervent prayers of Mary have anticipated My Resurrec­ tion by some time. I had said: “The Son of man is about to be killed, but on the third day He will rise from the dead”. I died at three o'clock in the afternoon of Friday. Whether you count the days by their names, or you count them by their hours, it was not the dawn on 252

Sunday that was to see Me rise. With regard to the hours, they were only thirty-eight instead of seventy-two, in which My Body had remained lifeless. With regard to the days, it should have been the evening of the third day to say that I had been in the sepulchre three days. But Mary anticipated the miracle. As when with Her prayers She opened the Heavens a few years in advance of the predeter­ mine time, to give the world its Salvation, so now She obtains some hours in advance to give comfort to Her dying heart. 2And I, at the beginning of dawn on the third day, descended 620. 2 like the sun and with My brightness I broke the human seals, so useless before the power of a God, with My power I prized open and overthrew the stone watched over in vain, with My appa­ rition like lightning I knocked down the utterly useless guards placed as guardians of a death that was Life, that no human power could prevent from being such. By far more powerful than your electric current, My Spirit entered like a sword of divine Fire to warm the cold remains of My Corpse, and in the new Adam the Spirit of God breathed life, saying to Itself: “Live. I want it”. I, Who had raised the dead when I was only the Son of Man, the Victim appointed to be burdened with the sins of the world, should I not have been able to raise Myself, now that I was the Son of God, the First and the Last, the eternal Living Being, He Who holds in His hands the keys of Life and of Death? And My Corpse felt Life go back to It. Look: like a man who awakes after a sleep brought about by enormous labour, I breathe deeply, and I do not open My eyes yet. Blood begins to circulate again, though not fast yet, in My veins, it brings thought again to the mind. But I come from so far! Look: like a wounded man, whom a miraculous power heals, blood comes back into My empty veins, it fills My Heart, warms My limbs, heals My wounds, bruises and sores disappear, strength comes back. But I was wounded so badly! Look: Power works. I am cured. I am awake. I have come back to Life. I was dead. Now I live! Now I rise! I shake the linens of death, I cast off the covering of ointments. I do not need them to appear the eternal Beauty, the eternal Integrity. I clothe Myself with a garment that is not of this Earth, but is woven by Him 253

620. 3 620. 4 620. 5Who is My Father and Who weaves the silk of the virginal lil­ ies. I am dressed in splendour. I adorn Myself with My wounds, which no longer drip blood, but give off light. The light that will be the joy of My Mother and of the blessed souls, and the terror, the unsustainable sight of the damned and of the demons on the Earth and on the last day. 3The angel of My life of man and the angel of My sorrow are prostrated before Me and worship My Glory. Both My angels are here. One to delight in the sight of Him Whom he guarded, and Who now no longer needs angelical protection. The other, who saw My tears, to see My smile; who saw My struggle, to see My victory; who saw My grief, to see My joy. 4And I go out into the garden full of flower buds and of dew. And the apple-trees open their corollas to form a flowery arch over My Royal head and the grass makes a carpet of gems and corollas for My Foot, that treads again on the Earth redeemed after being lifted up on it to redeem it. And the early sun, and the sweet April wind, and the light cloud that passes by, as rosy as the cheek of a child, and the birds among branches, they all greet Me. I am their God. They adore Me. I pass through the stunned guards, a symbol of souls in mor­ tal sin, that do not perceive the passing of God. It is Passover, Mary! This is really the “Passing of the Angel of God”! His Passing from death to life. His Passing to give Life to those who believe in His Name. It is Passover! It is the Peace that passes through the world. The Peace no longer veiled by the condi­ tion of man, but free, complete in its recovered efficiency of God. 5And I go to My Mother. It is fair that I should go. It was fair for My angels. It is much more so for Her Who, besides being My guardian and comfort, gave Me life. Before going back to the Fa­ ther in My glorified appearance of Man, I go to My Mother. I go in the splendour of My paradisiac appearance and of My living Gems. She can touch Me, She can kiss them, because She is the Pure, the Beautiful, the Beloved, the Blessed Saint of God. The new Adam goes to the new Eve. Evil entered the world through a woman, and was defeated by the Woman. The Fruit of the Woman has detoxicated men of the slaver of Lucifer. Now, if they want, they can be saved. She saved woman who had re­ mained so fragile after the mortal wound. 254

6And after showing Myself to the Pure One, to Whom by right 620. 6 of Holiness and Maternity it is just that the Son-God should go, I present Myself to the redeemed woman, to the file-leader, to the representative of all the female creatures, whom I have come to free from the sting of lust. So that she may tell them to approach Me to be cured, to have faith in Me, to believe in My Mercy that understands and forgives, to look at My Body adorned with the five wounds, in order to defeat Satan, who rummages in their flesh. I do not let her touch Me. She is not the Pure One, who can touch without contaminating Him, the Son Who goes back to the Father. She has still much to purify through penance. But her love deserves that reward. She was able to rise through her own will from the sepulchre of her vice, to strangle Satan who held her, to defy the world out of love for Her Saviour, she was able to divest herself of everything that was not love, she was able to be nothing but love that is consumed for her God. And God calls her: “Mary”. Listen to her replying: “Rabboni! ” Her heart is in that cry. As she deserved it, I entrusted her with the task of being the messenger of Resurrection. And once again she will be some­ what derided, as if she were raving. But the judgement of men is of no importance to her, to Mary of Magdala, to Mary of Jesus. She saw Me raised from the dead and that gives her a joy that ap-- peases all other feelings. Do you see how I love also who was guilty, but wanted to come out of guilt? Not even to John did I show Myself first. It was to the Magdalene that I showed Myself. John had already received the state of son from Me. He could have it, because he was pure and could be not only a spiritual son, but also one who gave the Pure Mother of God and received from Her those needs and those cares which are connected with the body. The Magdalene, the one revived to Grace, has the first vision of Grace Risen. 7When you love Me to the extent of overcoming everything for 620. 7 Me, I take your diseased heads and hearts in My pierced hands and I breathe My Power on your faces. And I save you, I save you, children whom I love. You become again beautiful, wholesome, free, happy. You become again the dear children of the Lord. I 255

620. 8 621. 1make you the bearers of My Goodness among poor men, to wit­ ness My Goodness to them and convince them of it and of Me. Have, have, have faith in Me. Love. Be not afraid. May what I suffered to save you assure you of the Heart of your God. 8And you little John, smile after weeping. Your Jesus does not suffer any more. There is no more blood nor wounds. But light, light, light and joy and glory. May my light and my joy remain in you untill the hour of Heaven». 621. Jesus appears to Lazarus*. 3 rd April 1945. 1The sun of a clear April morning fills the thickets of roses and jasmine in Lazarus' garden with bright scintillation. And the hedges of box and laurel, the tuft of a tall palm-tree swaying gently at the end of an avenue, the very thick bay near the fish­ pond, seem to have been washed by a mysterious hand, so neatly the abundant night dew has deterged and sprayed their leaves, which now seem covered with fresh enamel, so glossy and spot­ less are they. The house is silent, as if it were full of dead people. The win­ dows are open, but not even one voice, not even a noise comes from the rooms, which are in a dim light because all the curtains have been lowered. Inside, beyond the hall, in which there are many doors, now all open-and it is strange to see the halls without any preparation, while they are generally used for more or less numerous banquets -there is a large court-yard, which is paved and surrounded by a porch filled with seats. Many disciples are sitting on them, and some are sitting also on the floor, on mats, or on the marble itself. Among them I see the apostles Matthew, Andrew, Bartholomew, the brothers James and Judas of Alphaeus, James of Zebedee, the shepherd disciples with Manaen, besides some whom I do not know. I do not see the Zealot, Lazarus or Maximinus. * Appears... with regards to these apparitions not reported in the Gospel-except those to the disciples of Emmaus and to the Apostles-M. V. made a note where, after referring to John 20: 30-31, says: The Fathers and Doctors of the Church, among whom S. Augustin, affirm that the apparitions were numerous. We add a reference to 1 Co 15: 16. 256

Finally Maximinus comes in with some servants and he gives bread to everybody with various foodstuffs, that is, olives or cheese, or honey, and also fresh milk to those who want it. But they are not anxious to eat, although Maximinus exhorts eve­ rybody to do so. They are all deeply dejected. In a few days their faces have become sunken and ashen under the redness of tears. The apostles in particular, and those who ran away at the very first hours, look downcast, whilst the shepherds and Manaen are less dejected, nay, less ashamed, and Maximinus is only sorrow­ ful in a manly manner. 2The Zealot enters almost running and asks: «Is Lazarus here? » «No, he is in his room. What do you want? » «At the end of the path, near the fountain of the sun, there is Philip. He has come from the Jericho plain. He is exhausted. And he does not want to come here, because... like everybody, he feels he is a sinner. But Lazarus will convince him. » Bartholomew stands up and says: «I will come, too... » They go to Lazarus, who, upon being called, comes out from the half-dark room, where he certainly has wept and prayed, with a downcast face. They all go out and go across the garden first, then the vil­ lage, where it descends towards the slopes of the Mount of Ol­ ives, they then reach the end of the village, where also the table­ land, on which it is built, ends, and they proceed along the on­ ly mountain road that rises and descends along natural flights of steps across the mountains, which slope down towards the plain to the east and rise towards the town of Jerusalem to the west. There is a fountain here with a large basin, where cattle and men quench their thirst. The place just now is solitary and cool, because there is plenty of shade of thick trees around the cistern full of pure water, which is renewed continuously by the spring- water of some mountain, and overflows keeping the ground damp. 3Philip is sitting on the upper edge of the fountain, with his head lowered, his hair unkempt, dusty, his broken sandals hang­ ing from his grazed feet. Lazarus calls him in a pitiful voice: «Philip, come to me! Let621. 2 621. 3 257

us love one another for His sake. Let us be united in His Name. We shall still love Him by doing so! » «Oh! Lazarus! Lazarus! I ran away... and yesterday, beyond Jericho, I heard that He is dead!... I... I cannot forgive myself for running away... » «We all ran away. With the exception of John, who remained faithfully with Him, and Simon who gathered us together by His order, after we had cowardly run away. So... of us apostles, no one was faithful» says Bartholomew. «And can you forgive yourself? » «No. But I am thinking of making amends, as I can, by not giving myself up to sterile dejection. We must join together. We must join together. We must join John and learn about His last hours. John followed Him all the time» Bartholomew replies to his companion Philip. «And not let His Doctrine die. We must preach it to the world. We must keep at least that alive, since we did not take action in time to save Him from His enemies, as we were too slow and late» says the Zealot. «You could not have saved Him. Nothing could have saved Him. He told me. I repeat it again» says Lazarus resolutely. «Did you know, Lazarus? » asks Philip. «Yes, I did. It was my torture to be informed, since the Sab­ bath evening, of His death by Him, and in detail, to be told how we would act... » «No. Not you. You have obeyed and suffered. We acted like cowards. You and Simon are the ones who were sacrificed to obedience» exclaims Bartholomew. «Yes. To obedience. Oh! How hard it is to resist love in order 621. 4 to obey the Beloved! 4Come, Philip. Almost all the disciples are in my house. You must come, too. » «I am ashamed of appearing to the world, to my compan­ ions... » «We are all alike! » says Bartholomew moaning. «Yes. But my heart does not forgive itself. » «That is pride, Philip. Come. On the Sabbath evening He said to me: “They will not forgive themselves. Tell them that I forgive them, because I know that they are not acting freely, but it is Sa­ tan who is leading them astray”. Come. » 258

Philip weeps more loudly, but he surrenders. And, stooping as if he had aged in a few days, he walks beside Lazarus as far as the court-yard where they are all waiting for him. And the glance he casts at his companions, and the ones his companions cast at him, are the most evident confession of their total dejec­ tion. 5Lazarus is aware of it and says: «A new sheep of the herd of Christ, that was frightened by the coming of wolves and had run away after the arrest of the Shep­ herd, has been received by His friend. To this lost sheep, that has experienced the bitterness of being alone, without even the com­ fort of weeping over the same error with his brothers, I repeat His testament of love. In the presence of the heavenly choruses I swear that He said to me, among many other things that your present human weak­ ness cannot bear, because they are so distressing that they have torn my heart during these last ten days-and if I did not know that my life is of some use to the Lord, although it is so poor and faulty, I should give myself up to the wound of this grief of a friend and disciple who has lost everything by losing Him-He said to me: “The miasma of corrupt Jerusalem will drive also My disciples mad. They will run away and they will copie to you”. In fact, you can see that you are all here. I could say all of you. Be­ cause, with the exception of Simon Peter and of the Iscariot, you have all come towards my house and to my heart of a friend. He said: “You will gather them. You will encourage My scattered sheep. You will tell them that I forgive them. I entrust you with My forgiveness for them. They will not set their minds at rest for having run away. Tell them not to fall into the greater sin of de­ spairing of my forgiveness”. That is what He said. And I have forgiven you on His behalf. And I blushed in giving you in His Name this thing which is so holy, so peculiar of Him, which is Forgiveness, that is, the per­ fect Love, because he who forgives a guilty person, loves per­ fectly. This ministry has been a solace to my hard obedience... Because I should have liked to be there, like Mary and Martha, my sweet sisters. And if He was crucified on Golgotha by men, I swear it to you, I am crucified here by obedience, and it is really a heart-rending martyrdom. But if it serves to give solace to His621. 5 259

621. 6 621. 7Spirit, if it serves to save His disciples for Him, until He gath­ ers them to bring them to perfection in faith, well, once again I sacrifice my wish to go to at least venerate His corpse before the third day ends. 6I know that you doubt. You must not. Of His words at the Passover banquet I know only what you have told me. But the more I think of them, the more I raise, one by one, these diamonds of truthful words, and the more I feel that they have a sure refer­ ence to the immediate morrow. He cannot have said: “I am going to the Father and then I will come back”, if He were not really to come back. He cannot have said: “When you see Me again you will be full of joy” if He had disappeared for good. He has always said: “I will rise from the dead”. You told me that He said: “Dew is about to fall on the seeds sown in you and will make them all sprout, then the Paraclete will come and will make them become mighty trees”. Did He not say so? Oh! do not allow that to happen only for the last of His disciples, for poor Lazarus, who was with Him only rarely! When He comes back, ensure that all His seed has sprouted under the dew of His Blood. Since the dreadful hour when He was lifted up on the Cross, there is in me a great glow of light, a mighty outburst of strength. Everything is bright, everything revives and springs up. There is not one word left in me in its poor human meaning. But every­ thing I heard from Him or of Him, now becomes full of life, and my barren land really changes into a fertile flower-bed, where every flower has His Name and every sap draws life from His blessed Heart. I believe, Christ! But so that these may believe in You, in eve­ ry promise of Yours, in Your forgiveness, in everything that is You, I offer You my life. Consume it, but do not let Your Doctrine die! Crush poor Lazarus to smithereens, but gather together the scattered members of the apostolic group. Everything You may wish, but in return let Your Word be vivid and eternal, and now and forever, let those come to it who only through You can pos­ sess eternal life. » 7Lazarus is really inspired. Love elevates him to a very high sphere and his transport is so strong that it relieves also his com­ panions. Some call him on his right, some on his left, as if he were a confessor, a doctor, a father. The court-yard of Lazarus' rich 260

house, I do not know why, reminds me of the abodes of Christian patricians in the days of persecutions and of heroic faith... He is bent over Judas of Alphaeus, who can find no reason to appease his anguish for leaving His Master and cousin, when something makes him stand up straight all of a sudden. He turns round and then he says clearly: «I am coming, Lord. » His usual word of prompt assent. And he goes out, as if he were running behind someone who was calling and preceding him. They all look at one another, seized with astonishment. They consult with one another. «What has he seen? » «But there is nothing! » «Have you heard a voice? » «I have not. » «Neither have I. » «So? Is Lazarus perhaps not well again? » «May be... He has suffered more than we have, and he has en­ couraged us so much, we... the cowards! Perhaps he is raving. » «In fact he looks worn out. » «And his eyes were inflamed while he was speaking. » «Perhaps Jesus has called him to Heaven. » «In fact Lazarus offered Him his life not long ago... He has picked him at once like a flower... Oh! how wretched we are. What shall we do now? » Comments are desperate and sorrowful. 8Lazarus crosses the hall, he goes out into the garden, run­ 621. 8 ning all the time, smiling, whispering, and there is his soul in his voice: «I am coming, Lord. » He arrives at a box thicket that forms a green shelter, we would say a green bower, and he falls on his knees, with his face on the ground, shouting: «Oh! my Lord! » Because Jesus, in His beauty of the Resurrection, is on the threshold of this green bower and smiles at him... and says: «Everything has been accomplished, Lazarus. I have come to thank you, My faithful friend. I have come to ask you to tell our brothers to come at once to the house of the Supper. You-anoth­ er sacrifice, My dear friend, out of love for Me-will remain here, for the time being... I am aware that you suffer because of that. But I know that you are generous. Mary, your sister, has already 261

621. 9 622. 1been comforted, because I have seen her and she has seen Me. » «You no longer suffer, my Lord. And that repays me for eve­ ry sacrifice. I suffered... knowing that You were suffering... and that I was not there... » «Oh! you were! Your spirit was at the foot of My Cross, and it was in the darkness of My sepulchre. From the depth where I was, you have evoked Me earlier, like all those who have loved Me with their whole selves. Just now I said to you: “Come, La­ zarus”. As on the day of your resurrection. But for several hours you have been saying to Me: “Come”. I have come. And I called you, to draw you out, in My turn, from the depth of your grief. Go. Peace and blessings to you, Lazarus! Grow greater in your love for Me. I will come again. » 9Lazarus has remained on his knees all the time without dar­ ing to make a gesture. The majesty of the Lord, although miti­ gated by love, is such that it paralyses Lazarus' usual behaviour. But before disappearing in a flood of light that absorbs Him, Jesus takes a step and with His hand He touches the faithful forehead lightly. It is at that moment that Lazarus recovers from his blissful astonishment, he stands up and running headlong towards his companions and with brightness of joy in his eyes and on his forehead barely touched by the Christ, he shouts: «He has risen, brother! He called me. I went. I have seen Him. He spoke to me. He told me to tell you to go at once to the house of the Supper. Go! Go! I am staying here, because He wants that. But my joy is complete... » And Lazarus weeps in his joy, while he urges the apostles to be the first to go where He orders. «Go! Go! He wants you! He loves you! Be not afraid of Him... Oh! He is more than ever the Lord, the Goodness, the Love! » Also the disciples stand up... Bethany becomes empty. La­ zarus remains with his great heart comforted... 622. Jesus appears to Johanna of Chuza. 4th April 1945. 1In a rich room, where the light hardly filters from outside, Johanna is weeping, completely dejected on a seat near the low 262

bed covered with magnificent covers. She is weeping with her arm resting on the edge and her forehead on her arm, complete­ ly shaken by sobs, that must break her breast. When, in the an­ guish of her tears, she raises her face for a moment to breathe, a large damp spot can be seen on the precious cover, while her face is literally flooded with tears. Then she rests it again on her arm and once again one can see only her very white thin neck, the mass of her brown hair, her very slender shoulders and the top of her trunk. The rest is lost in the dim light, where her body disap­ pears, wrapped in her dark violet dress. Without moving the curtains or opening the door Jesus goes in, and without making any noise He approaches her. He touches her hair lightly with His Hand and in a whisper He asks: «Why are you weeping, Johanna? » And Johanna, who must think that it is her angel who has asked her the question, and who does not see anything because she does not raise her head from the edge of the bed, with more desolate tears she expresses her torture: «Because I do not even have the Sepulchre of the Lord any more, to go and shed my tears there and not be alone... » «But He has risen. Are you not happy? » «Oh! yes! But all the women have seen Him with the excep­ tion of Martha and me. And Martha will certainly see Him at Bethany... because their house is a friendly one. Mine... mine is- no longer a friendly house... I have lost everything with His Pas­ sion... Both my Master and my husband... and his soul... because he does not believe... he does not believe... and he derides me... and he orders me not to venerate even the memory of my Sav­ iour... in order not to ruin him... Human interests are more im­ portant for him... I... I... I do not know whether I should contin­ ue to love him or to be disgusted at him. I do not know whether I should obey him, being his wife, or disobey him, as my soul would like to do, because of the greater nuptial tie of the spirit with the Christ, to Whom I will remain faithful... I... I should like to know... And who will advise me, if poor Johanna can no longer reach Him? Oh!... the Passion is over for my Lord!... But for me it began on Friday, and it lasts... Oh! I am so weak and I have not got the strength to carry this cross!... » «But if He helped you, would you carry it for His sake? » 263

622. 2 622. 3«Oh! yes! Providing He helps me... He knows what it means to carry the cross by oneself... Oh! have mercy on my misfor­ tune!... » «Yes. I know what it is to carry the cross by oneself. That is why I have come, and I am beside you. 2Johanna, do you realise Who is speaking to you? Is your house no longer friendly with the Christ? Why? If he, your earthly husband, is like a star cov­ ered with a cloud of human miasma, you are still Johanna of Je­ sus. The Master has not left you. Jesus never leaves the souls who have become His spiritual spouses. He is always the Master, the Friend, the Spouse, also now that He has risen. Johanna, raise your head. Look at Me. In this hour of a secret lesson, which is even sweeter than if I had appeared to you as I did to the other women disciples, I will tell you what your future behaviour is to be. The same as that of many sisters of yours. Love your upset husband patiently and submissively. Increase your kindness all the more as he fosters the bitterness of human fears in himself. Increase your spiritual brightness the more he gives off shadows of human interests. Be faithful for two. And be strong in your spiritual nuptial tie. How many women, in future, will have to choose between the will of God and that of their husbands! But they will be great when, above love and maternity, they follow God. Your passion is beginning. Yes. But you can see that every passion ends in a resurrection... » Johanna has been raising her head little by little. Her sobbing had become less frequent. She now looks and sees, she slides down on her knees, worshipping and whispering: «The Lord! » «Yes. The Lord. You can see that I have not dealt with any of the women disciples as I have done with you. But I see peculiar needs and I arrange in gradations the assistance to be given to souls that expect help from Me. Climb your Calvary of a wife with the help of My caress and with that of your innocent child. He has entered Heaven with Me and he has given Me his caress for you. I bless you, Johanna. Have faith. I saved you. You will save, if you have faith. » 3Johanna now smiles and she dares to ask: «Are You not going to the children? » «I kissed them at dawn while they were still sleeping in their little beds, and they believed I was an angel of the Lord. I can 264

kiss the innocent whenever I wish. But I did not wake them not to upset them too much. Their souls keep the memory of My kiss... and in due time, they will transmit it to their minds. Nothing is lost of what is Mine. Always be a mother to them. And always be a daughter of My Mother. Never be completely detached from Her. With motherly gentleness She will perpetuate what was our friendship. And take the children to Her. She needs children to feel less deprived of Her Child... » «Chuza will not agree... » «Chuza will let you do. » «Will he repudiate me, Lord? » It is the cry of a fresh torture. «He is a dimmed star. Bring him back to light with your hero­ ism of a wife and of a Christian. Goodbye. With the exception of My Mother, do not mention this coming of Mine to anybody else. Also revelations are to be mentioned to those to whom and when it is fair to do so. » Jesus smiles at her shining brightly, and He disappears in His refulgence. Johanna stands up, lost in reverie, torn between joy and sor­ row, between the fear of having dreamt and the certainty of hav­ ing seen. But her feelings reassure her. 4She goes to the little 622. 4 ones, who are playing quietly on the upper terrace, and kisses them. «Are you not weeping any more, mummy? » asks Mary shy-- ly, no longer the poor wretched little girl, but a delicate gentle girl, well dressed and with tidy hair; and Matthias, swarthy and lean, with the exuberance of a nice little boy says: «Tell me who makes you weep, and I will punish him. » Johanna embraces them together and presses them to her heart, and says speaking over the brown-haired head of Mary and over the dark hair of Matthias: «I am not weeping any more. Jesus has risen and He blesses us. » «Oh! so does He not bleed any more? Does He not suffer any longer? » asks Mary. «Silly girl! You should rather say: He is no longer dead! Then, He is happy now!... Because it must be awful to be dead... » says Matthias. «So is there no reason to weep any more, mummy? » asks» Mary again. 265

622. 5«No. Not for you, innocent children. Rejoice with the angels. » «The angels!... Last night, I don't know what watch it was, I felt being caressed and I woke up saying: “Mummy! ”, but I was not calling you. I was calling my dead mother, because that ca­ ress was lighter and gentler than yours, and I opened my eyes for a moment. But I saw only a bright light and I said: “My angel has kissed me to console me for my deep grief over the death of the Lord”» says Mary. «I, too. But I was very sleepy, and I said: “Is it you? ” I was thinking of my Guardian angel and I wanted to say to him: “Go and kiss Jesus and Johanna, so that they may no longer be afraid”, but I did not succeed. I fell asleep again and I began to dream, and I seemed to be in Heaven with you and Mary. Then there was that earthquake and I woke up and was frightened. But Esther said to me: “Don't be afraid. It is already all over” and I fell asleep again. » Johanna kisses them again, and then she leaves them to their peaceful games 5and she goes to the house of the Supper. She asks after Mary. She goes into Her room. She closes the door and says her great word: «I have seen Him. I tell You. I am comforted and happy. Love me, because He said that I must be united to You. » The Mother replies: «I have already told you, on the day of the Sabbath, that I love you. Yesterday. Because it was yesterday... And that day of weeping and darkness seems so far from this day of light and smiles! » «Yes... Now I remember that You had already said what He has now repeated to me. You said: “We women will have to take action, because we remained and the men ran away... The true giver of life is always the woman... ” Oh! Mother, help me to give life to Chuza! He has abandoned Faith!... » Johanna begins to weep again. Mary takes her in Her arms: «Love is stronger than faith. It is the most active virtue. With it you will create a new soul for Chu­ za. Be not afraid. But I will help you. » 266

623. Jesus appears to Joseph of Arimathea, to Nicodemus and to Manaen. 4th April 1945. 1Manaen, with the shepherds, is walking fast along the slopes that from Bethany take one to Jerusalem. A beautiful road goes straight towards the Mount of Olives. And Manaen turns to­ wards it, after leaving the shepherds, who, few at a time, want to enter the town to go to the Supper room. Shortly before, I gather this from their conversation, they must have met John, who was coming towards Bethany to bring the news of the Resurrection and the order for everybody to be in Galilee in a few days' time. They part precisely because the shepherds want to repeat personally to Peter, what they have al­ ready told John, that is, that the Lord, when he appeared to La­ zarus, said that they had to gather in the Supper room. Manaen climbs a secondary road towards a house in the mid­ dle of an olive-grove. A beautiful house, with around it a row of cedars of Lebanon, which with their imposing mass dominate the numerous olive-trees of the mountain. He goes in resolutely and to the servant, who has rushed to meet him, he says: «Where is your master? » «Over there with Joseph. He came not long ago. » «Tell him that I am here. » The servant goes away and comes back with Nicodemus and Joseph. The voices of the three men mingle in the same cry: «He has risen! » They look at one another, surprised that they all know. 2Then Nicodemus takes his friend and leads him to a room in­ side the house. Joseph follows them. «Have you dared to come back? » «Yes. He said: “At the Supper room”. I do want to see Him now, glorious, to get rid of the grievous memory of Him tied and covered with filth, like a criminal struck by the rage of the world. » «Oh! we should like to see Him as well... to free ourselves from the horror of remembering Him tortured, of His countless wounds... But He has shown Himself only to the women» whis­ pers Joseph. 623. 1 623. 2 267

623. 3 623. 4«And that is fair. They have always been faithful to Him dur­ ing these last years. We were afraid. The Mother said so: “A very poor love indeed, if it waited until now to show itself! ”» says Nicodemus objecting. «But to defy Israel, now more than ever opposed to Him, we should really need to see Him!... 3If you knew! The guards have spoken... Now the Leaders of the Sanhedrin and the Pharisees, not yet converted by so much wrath of Heaven, are looking for those who are aware of His Resurrection, to put them in pris­ on. I have sent little Martial-a child passes unnoticed more easily-to inform the people at home to be on the alert. They have taken sacred money from the Treasury of the Temple to pay the guards, so that they may say that the disciples stole Him, and that what they had said previously about the Resur­ rection, was a lie, as they were afraid of being punished. The town is in a turmoil. And there are some disciples who are al­ ready leaving it out of fear... I mean the disciples that were not at Bethany... » «Yes, we would need His blessing to have courage. » «He appeared to Lazarus... It was almost the third hour. La­ zarus seems transfigured to us. » «Oh! Lazarus deserves it! We... » says Joseph. «Yes. We are still encrusted with doubt and human thoughts, like a leper badly cured... And there is no one but He Who can say: “I want you to be cleansed! ” So, now that He has risen, will He no longer speak to us, who are less perfect? » asks Nicodemus. «And will He not work any more miracles, to punish the world, now that He is the One Who has Risen from death and from the miseries of the flesh? » asks Joseph again. But their questions can have but one reply. His. And it does not come. The three remain dejected. 4Then Manaen says: «Well. I am going to the Supper room. If they kill me, He will absolve my soul and I shall see Him in Heaven, if I do not see Him here, on the Earth. Manaen is such a useless thing in the group of His followers that, if he falls, he will leave the same void that is left by a flower picked in a mead­ ow crowded with corollas: he will not even be noticed... » and he gets up to go. But, as he turns towards the door, the latter is brightly illu­ 268

minated by the Divine Resurrected Lord, Who, with His open hands, in a gesture of an embrace, stops him saying: «Peace to you! Peace to you two! But remain where you are, you and Nicodemus. Joseph may still go, if he wishes so. But you have Me here, and I speak the word you requested: “I want you to be cleansed of what is still impure in your belief”. Tomorrow you will go down to the town. You will go to the brothers. This even­ ing I have to speak only to the apostles. Goodbye. And may God be always with you. Thanks, Manaen. You have believed more than these two. So, thanks also to your spirit. I thank you two for your pity. But ensure that it may become something higher through a life of fearless faith. » Jesus disappears behind a daz­ zling incandescence. The three are blissful and bewildered. «But was it He? » asks Joseph. «And did you not hear His voice? » replies Nicodemus. «Also a spirit can have... a voice... You, Manaen, since you were so close to Him, what do you think? » «A real body. Most handsome. He breathed. I could feel His breath. And He emitted heat. And then... His Wounds, I saw them. They looked as if they had been opened then. They did not bleed, but it was living flesh. Oh! do not doubt any more! So that He may not punish you. We have seen the Lord. I mean Jesus, Who has come back as glorious as His Nature wants! And... He still loves us... Truly, if Herod should now offer me his kingdom, I should say to him: “Your throne and crown are dust and dung, as far as I am concerned. Nothing exceeds what I possess. I have the blissful knowledge of the Face of God”. » 624. Jesus appears to the shepherds. 4th April 1945. 1They also walk fast under the olive-trees, and they are so certain of His Resurrection that they converse with the joy of happy children. They go straight towards the town. «We will tell Peter to look at Him carefully and to tell us how beautiful is His face» says Elias. «Oh! no matter how beautiful it may be, I shall never be able624. 1 269

to forget what He was like when He was tortured» whispers Isaac. «But do you remember Him when He was lifted up on the Cross? » asks Levi. «And do you all remember Him? » «I do, and perfectly. The light was still good then. Later, with my old eyes, I could not see much» says Daniel. «I, instead, saw Him until He seemed to be dead. But I would have preferred to be blind, in order not to see» says Joseph. «Oh! well. Now He has risen. That must make us happy» says John to comfort him. «And the thought that we only left Him for an act of charity» adds Jonathan. «But our hearts remained up there. All the time» whispers Matthias. «Yes. All the time. Since you have seen the veronica, tell us: what is it like? Does it look like Him? » asks Benjamin. «As if He were speaking» replies Isaac. «Will we see that veil? » many ask. «Oh! the Mother shows it to everybody. You will certainly see 624. 2 it. But it is a sad sight. It would be better to see... 2Oh! Lord! » «Faithful servants. Here I am. Go. I will wait for you in Gali­ lee in a few days' time. I want to tell you once more that I love you. Jonah is blissful, with the others, in Heaven. » «Lord! Oh! Lord. » «Peace to you of goodwill. » The Risen Lord vanishes in the bright midday sunbeam. When they raise their heads, He is no longer there. But there is the joy of having seen Him as He is now: glorious. They stand up, transfigured with joy. In their humbleness they cannot be persuaded that they deserved to see Him and they say: «To us! To us! How good is our Lord! From His birth to His triumph, always humble and good to His poor servants! » «And how handsome He was! » «Oh! He was never so handsome! What majesty! » «He looks even taller and of riper age. » «He is really the King! » «Oh! They called Him the peaceful King! But He is also the terrible King for those who must be afraid of His judgement! » «Did you see what beams were emitted by His Face? » 270

«And how His eyes flashed! » «I did not dare stare at Him. And I would have liked to stare at Him, because I think that perhaps I shall be granted to see Him so only in Heaven. And I want to know Him, so that I shall not be afraid of Him then. » 3«Oh! we must not be afraid if we remain as we are: His faith­ 624. 3 ful servants. You have heard Him: “I want to tell you once more that I love you. Peace to you of goodwill”. Oh! not a word too many. But in that little there is His full approval of what we have done so far and His greatest promises for our future lives. Oh! let us intone the song of joy. Of our joy: “Glory to God in the most high Heavens and peace on earth to men of goodwill. The Lord has really risen, as He had said through the mouths of the prophets and with His own faultless word. With His Blood He has wiped off the corruption that the kiss of a man had laid on Him, and, as the altar is cleansed, His Body has assumed the inex­ pressible beauty of God. Before ascending to Heaven He has shown Himself to His servants. Alleluia. Let us go on singing, alleluia! The eternal youth of God! Let us go announcing to the people that He has risen, alleluia! The Just, the Holy Lord has risen, alleluia, alleluia! From the Sepulchre He has risen immortal. And just men have risen with Him. In sin, as in a grotto, the hearts of men were closed. He died to say: 'Rise! ' And those who were dispersed have ris­ en, alleluia! Having opened the gates of Heaven, He said to the chosen ones: 'Come'. For the sake of His holy Blood may He grant us to ascend as well. Alleluia! ”» Matthia, the elderly ex-disciple of John the Baptist, goes ahead singing, as perhaps in days gone by David had sung before His people along the streets in Judaea. The others follow him, re­ plying in chorus to each alleluia with holy joy. 4Jonathan, who is a member of the group, while Jerusalem is 624. 4 already at the feet of the hillock which they are descending rap-271

625. 1idly, says: «Through His birth I have lost fatherland and home, and through His death I have lost the new house where for thir­ ty years I worked honestly. But even if they had taken my life because of Him, I would have died happily, because I would have lost it for Him. I bear him who is unfair to me, no grudge. Through His death my Lord has taught me perfect meekness. And I am not worried about the future. My abode is not here, but in Heaven. I shall live in the poverty so dear to Him and I will serve Him until He calls me... and... yes... I will offer Him also the fact that I have to abandon... my mistress... This is the most aching pain... But now that I have seen the suffering of the Christ and His glory, I must not weigh my grief, but only hope in the celestial glory. Let us go and tell the apostles that Jonathan is the servant of the servants of the Christ. » 625. Jesus appears to the disciples of Emmaus. 5th April 1945. 1Along a mountain road two middle-aged men are walking fast turning their backs on Jerusalem, whose mountains are dis­ appearing more and more behind those that follow with uninter­ rupted undulations of summits and valleys. They are speaking to each other. The elder one says to the other, who must be about thirty-five years old at most: «Believe me: it was better to do so, I have a family, and you have one, too. The Temple is not joking. They want to have really done with this matter. Are they right? Are they wrong? I don't know. I know that they clearly intend to put an end to this matter once for all. » «To this crime, Simon. Give it its right name. Because it is at least a crime. » «It depends. Love instigates us against the Sanhedrin. But perhaps... who knows! » «Not at all. Love enlightens. It does not lead to error. » «Also the Sanhedrin, also the Priests and the Chiefs love. They love Jehovah, Whom all Israel has loved since the agree­ ment was made between God and the Patriarchs. So, love is light also for them and does not lead to error! » «Their love is not for the Lord. Yes. Israel has been in that 272

Faith for ages. But tell me. Can you say that it is still Faith what the Chiefs of the Temple, the Pharisees, the scribes, the Priests give us? You can see it. With the gold sacred to the Lord-peo­ ple already knew or at least suspected that it happened-with the gold sacred to the Lord they have paid the Traitor and now they are paying the guards. The former, to make him betray the Christ, the latter to make them lie, Oh! I don't know how the eternal Power has limited Itself to overthrowing the walls and tearing the Veil! I tell you that I would have liked the new Philis­ tines to have been buried under the ruins. All of them! » «Cleopas! You would be complete vengeance. » «I would. Because, let us admit that He was only a prophet, is it legal to kill an innocent? Because He was innocent! Have you ever seen Him commit one of the crimes with which they charged Him to kill Him? » «No. Not even one. 2But He made one mistake. » «Which, Simon? » «He did not show His power from the height of His Cross, to confirm our faith and to punish the incredulous sacrilegious people. He should have accepted the challenge and descended from the Cross. » «He has done more than that. He has risen from the dead. » «Is it really true. Risen how? Only with His Spirit or with His Spirit and His Body? » «But the spirit is eternal! It need not rise! » exclaims Cleopas. «I know that, too. What I mean is whether He has risen only with His Nature of God, superior to all the snares of man. Be­ cause they laid snares to His Spirit through the terror of man. You did hear, didn't you? Mark said that at Gethsemane, where He went to pray against a rock, there is blood everywhere. And John, who has spoken to Mark, said to him: “Do not let that place be trampled on, because it is Blood sweated by the Man-God”. If He sweated blood before being tortured, He must have been ter­ rified of the torture! » «Our poor Master!... » They become silent feeling dejected. 3Jesus joins them and asks: «What were you speaking of? In the silence I could hear your words at intervals. Who has been killed? »625. 2 625. 3 273

625. 4It is a Jesus veiled under the humble appearance of a poor wayfarer who is in a hurry. The two do not recognise Him. «Have you come from far away, man? Have you not stopped in Jerusalem? Your dusty tunic and your sandals in that state look like those of an indefatigable pilgrim. » «I am. I have come from very far... » «So you must be tired. Are you going far? » «Yes, very far, even farther than the place from which I come. » «Are you in business? Markets? » «I have to purchase an enormous number of herds for the greatest Lord. I have to go round the whole world to choose sheep and lambs, and I have to go also among wild herds, which, how­ ever, once they have been tamed, will be better than the ones which at present are not wild. » «Hard work. And have you gone on your way without stop­ ping in Jerusalem? » «Why do you ask Me? » «Because you seem to be the only one who is unaware of what happened there these past days. » «What happened? » «You have come from afar and therefore perhaps you do not know. And yet your way of speaking is Galilean. So, even if you are the servant of a foreign king or the son of emigrated Galile­ ans, you must know, if you are circumcised, that for three years in our Fatherland a great Prophet had risen, named Jesus of Naz­ areth, powerful in deeds and in words before God and before men, and He went preaching all over the Country. And He said that He was the Messiah. His words and His deeds were really those of the Son of God, of the Son of God only, as He said He was. All Heaven... Now you know why... 4But are you circumcised? » «I am the first-born and sacred to the Lord. » «Then do you know our Religion? » «I know every syllable of it. I know the precepts and the cus­ toms. The Halacha, the midrash and the Haggadah are known to Me like the elements of the air, of the water, of the fire and of the light, that are the first to which tend the intelligence, the in­ stinct and the needs of man, shortly after he is born. » «Well, in that case you know that Israel was promised the Messiah, but as a powerful king who would re-unite Israel. This 274

one instead was not so... » «How, then? » «He did not aim at earthly power. But He said that He was the king of an eternal spiritual kingdom. He did not re-unite, on the contrary He divided Israel, because the country is now divided between those who believe in Him and those who say that He is a criminal. Really, He was not the stuff kings are made of, because He only wanted meekness and forgiveness. And can one subdue and defeat with such weapons?... » «So? » «So the Chiefs of the Priests and the Elders of Israel captured Him and sentenced Him to death... charging Him, really, with crimes of which He was not guilty. His only fault was to be too good and too severe... » «If He was one, how could He be the other? » «It was possible, because He was too severe in speaking the truth to the Chiefs in Israel and too good in not working miracles of death on them, striking His unjust enemies dead. » «Was He as severe as the Baptist? » «Well... I would not know. He used to reproach scribes and Pharisees very severely, particularly recently, and He threatened those of the Temple, as if they were marked by the wrath of God. But if one was a sinner and repented, and He saw true repent­ ance in that heart, because the Nazarene read hearts better than a scribe can read the text, then He was kinder than a mother. » «And did Rome allow an innocent to be killed? » «Pilate condemned Him... But he did not want to, and said that He was “just”. But they threatened to report him to Caesar, and he was frightened. 5In short He was condemned to be cruci­ fied and He died on the Cross. And that, together with the fear of the members of the Sanhedrin, has greatly disheartened us. Because I am Cleopas, the son of Cleopas, and he is Simon, both from Emmaus, and relatives, because I am the husband of his oldest daughter, and we were disciples of the Prophet. » «And are you no longer so? » «We hoped that He would free Israel and also that, by means of a miracle, He would confirm His words. Instead!... » «What words had He spoken? » «We have told you: “I have come to the Kingdom of David. I am625. 5 275

625. 6the peaceful King” and so forth. And He used to say: “Come to the Kingdom”, but, then, He did not give us the kingdom. And He would say: “On the third day I will rise from the dead”. Now this is the third day since He died. And it is even finished, because it is later than the ninth hour, and He has not risen. Some wom­ en and guards say that He has risen. But we have not seen Him. The guards now state that they said so to justify the theft of the corpse made by the disciples of the Nazarene. But the disciples!... We all abandoned Him out of fear when He was alive... and we certainly did not steal Him now that He is dead. And the wom­ en... who believes them? That is what we were talking about. And we wanted to know whether He intended to say that He would rise only with the Spirit that had become divine again, or also with His body. The women say that the angels-because they say that they saw also angels after the earthquake, and it may be, because on Friday some just people had already appeared out of their sepulchres-they say that the angels said that He is like one who has never died. And in fact that is how the women seemed to see Him. But two of us, two chiefs, went to the Sepulchre. And while they saw it empty, as the women had said, they did not see Him there or anywhere else. And it is a great desolation, because we no longer know what to think! » 6«Oh! how foolish you are and hard to understand! And how slow you are in believing the words of the prophets! And had all that not already been said? The error of Israel is this: they have misinterpreted the regality of the Christ. That is why He was not believed. That is why He was feared. That is why you are now in doubt. In high places, in low ones, in the Temple, in villages, everywhere people thought of a king according to hu­ man nature. The reconstruction of the Kingdom of Israel was not limited, in the mind of God, in time, in space and in means, as it was in you. Not in time: no royalty, even the most powerful one, is eter­ nal. Remember the mighty Pharaohs who oppressed* the Jews in the days of Moses. How many dynasties have come to an end, and only soulless mummies remain of them at the bottom of se­ cret hypogea! And a remembrance remains, if even that still re-* Pharaohs who oppressed... starting from the one of whom is narrated in Exodus 1: 8-22. 276

mains, of their power of one hour, and even less, if we measure their centuries by the eternal Time. This Kingdom is eternal. In space. It was called: Kingdom of Israel. Because the stock of the human race came from Israel; because in Israel there is, so to say, the seed of God; and therefore, by saying Israel, it was meant: the kingdom of those created by God. But the regality of the King Messiah is not limited to the small space of Palestine, but it stretches from north to south, from east to west, wherever there is a being with a spirit in its body, that is, wherever there is a man. How could one person alone gather under him all the peo­ ples, hostile to one another, and form only one kingdom, with­ out shedding rivers of blood and subjecting them all by means of cruel oppressions of armed men? So, how could He have been the peaceful king mentioned by the prophets? In means: the human means, I said, is oppression. The super­ human means is love. The former is always limited, because peo­ ples rebel against the oppressor. The latter is unlimited, because love is loved or, if it is not loved, it is derided. But as it is spirit­ ual, it cannot be attacked directly. And God, the Infinite, wants means to be like Himself. He wants what is not finite, because He is eternal: the spirit; what belongs to the spirit; what leads to the Spirit. That has been the error: that men conceived in their minds a Messianic idea that is wrong in means and form. Which is the highest regality? God's. Is it not so? Therefore, this Admirable, this Immanuel, this Holy, this sublime Germ, this Strong, this Father of the future century, this Prince of peace, this God like Him from Whom He comes, because so is He named and so is the Messiah, will He not have a regality like that of Him Who generated Him? Of course, He will! A regality which is completely spiritual and eternal, immune from violence and blood, unaware of betrayals and abuse of power. His Regality! That which the Eternal Goodness bestows also on poor men, to give honour and joy to His Word. 7But did David not say* that this powerful King had all things placed under His feet as a footstool? Did Isaiah not narrate all His Passion, and did David not count, one might say, also His tortures? And is it not said that He is the Saviour and Redeemer, * say in Psalm 110. 625. 7 277

625. 8Who with His holocaust will save sinful mankind? And is it not stated, and Jonah is the sign, that for three days He would be swallowed by the insatiable stomach of the Earth, and then He would be ejected as the prophet was by the whale? And was it not said by Him: “My Temple, that is My Body, the third day after being destroyed, will be rebuilt by Me (that is, by God)? ” And what did you think? That by magic He would raise the walls of the Temple again? No. Not the walls. But Himself. And God only could make Himself rise from the dead. He has raised the true Temple: His Body of the Lamb. Sacrificed, as Mo­ ses received the order and the prophecy, to prepare the “passage” from death to Life, from slavery to freedom, of men, the children of God and slaves of Satan. How did He rise? you ask each other. I reply: He has risen with His true Body and with His Divine Spirit that dwells in it, as in every mortal body there dwells the soul as queen of the heart. That is how He has risen after suffering everything to expiate everything, and make amends for the primitive Offence and for the countless ones that every day are committed by Mankind. He has risen as it had been said under the veil of the prophecies. He had come at His time, I remind you of Daniel, at His time He was sacrificed. And listen and remember, at the time predicted after His death the deicide town will be destroyed. 8I advice you to do this: read the prophets with your souls, not with proud minds, from the beginning of the Book to the words of the Sacrificed Word; remember the Precursor who indicated Him as the Lamb; recall which was the destiny of the symbolic Mosaic lamb. The first-born of Israel were saved through that blood. Through this Blood the first-born of God will be saved, that is, those who with goodwill have made themselves sacred to the Lord. Remember and understand the Messianic psalm of Da­ vid and the Messianic prophet Isaiah. Remember Daniel, recall to your minds, but raising these from the filth of the earth to the celestial blue, recall every word on the regality of the Saint of God, and you will understand that no other more just or more strong sign could be given to you than this victory over Death, than this Resurrection accomplished by Himself. Remember that it would have been contrary to His mercy and to His mission to punish from the height of His Cross those who had put Him on it. 278

He was still the Saviour, even if He was the Crucified scoffed at and nailed to a scaffold! His limbs were crucified, but His spir­ it and will were free. And with the latter He wanted to wait, to give the sinners time to believe and to invoke His Blood on them­ selves, not with blasphemous cries, but with groans of contrition. 9Now He is risen. He has accomplished everything. Glorious He was before His incarnation. Three times glorious He is now that, having humbled Himself in a body for so many years, He sacrificed Himself, elevating Obedience to the perfection of be­ ing able to die on the Cross to do God's Will. Most glorious, with His glorified Body, now that He ascends to Heaven, and enters into the eternal Glory, beginning the Kingdom that Israel has not understood. To this Kingdom, in a more and more pressing manner, through the love and the authority of which He is full, He calls the tribes of the world. As foreseen and predicted by the just of Israel and by the prophets, all peoples will come to the Sav­ iour. And there will no longer be Judaeans or Romans, Scyth­ ians or Africans, Iberians or Celts, Egyptians or Phrygians. The land beyond the Euphrates will join the springs of the peren­ nial River. The Hyperborians beside the Numidians will come to His Kingdom, and races and languages will fall away. There will no longer be different customs and different colours of skins and hair, but there will be an immense bright pure people, one language only and one love. It will be the Kingdom of God. The Kingdom of Heaven. And eternal Monarch: the Sacrificed Lord Who has risen again from the dead. The eternal subjects: the be­ lievers in His Faith. Do believe, in order to belong to it. 10Here is Emmaus, My friends. I am going farther. No stop is granted to the Wayfarer Who has to travel so far. » «Sir, you are more learned than a rabbi. If He were not dead, we should say that He has spoken to us. We should like to hear some more and wider truths from you. Because now, we are like sheep without a shepherd, upset by the storm of Israel's hatred, and we are no longer able to understand the words of the Book. Do you want us to come with you? See, you would go on teach­ ing us, completing the work of the Master Who was taken away from us. » «You have had Him for such a long time and was He not able625. 9 625. 10 279

to complete your instruction? Is this not a synagogue? » «Yes, it is. I am Cleopas, the son of Cleopas the synagogue* Leader who died in the joy of having become acquainted with the Messiah. » «And have you not succeeded yet in believing with clear firm faith? But it is not your fault. After the Blood, the Fire is still missing. And then you will believe, because you will understand Goodbye. » «O sir, it is nearly evening and the sun is beginning to set. You are tired and thirsty. Come in. Stay with us. You will speak to us of God, while we share bread and salt. » 11Jesus goes in and they serve Him with the customary Jew­ ish hospitality, offering Him drinks and water for His tired feet. Then they sit at the table and the two beg Him to offer the food for them. Jesus stands up holding the bread in the palms of His hands, and raising His eyes to the red sky of the evening, He recites the thanksgiving for the food and sits down. He breaks the bread and gives some to His two guests. And, in doing so, He reveals Himself for what He is: the Risen Lord. He is not the bright Risen Lord Who appeared to the others who are dearer to Him. But He is a Jesus full of majesty, with the wounds very clear in His long Hands: red roses against the ivory of His skin. A Jesus fully alive in His recomposed Body. But He is also clearly God in the majesty of His eye and of all His aspect. The two recognise Him and fall on their knees... But when they dare to lift their faces, there is nothing left of Him except the broken bread. They take it and kiss it. Each takes his own piece and after enveloping it in a linen cloth, he puts it, like a relic, on his chest. They weep saying: «It was He! And we did not recognise Him. And yet did you not feel your heart burn within you while He spoke and explained the Scriptures to us? » «Yes, I did. And now I seem to see Him again. And in the light coming from Heaven. The light of God. And I see that He is the Saviour. » * Cleopas the synagogue, in chapter 126. 1 and in 140. 280625. 11

12«Let us go. I am no longer hungry or tired. Let us go and tell Jesus' disciples in Jerusalem. » «Let us go. Oh! I wish my old father had enjoyed this hour! » «Don't say that! He has enjoyed it more than we have. With­ out the veils used out of pity for the weakness of our flesh, he, the just Cleopas, with his spirit has seen the Son of God enter heav­ en again. Let us go! Let us go! We shall arrive at dead of night. But if He so wishes, He will find a way to let us pass. If He has opened the gates of death, He will certainly be able to open those of the walls! Let us go. » And in the fully purple sunset, they go speedily towards Je­ rusalem. 626. The coming of the Romans and the admission of other apparitions. 5th April 1945. 1The house of the Supper room is full of people. The hall the court-yard, the rooms, apart from the Supper room and the Vir­ gin Mary's room, show the joyful excited appearance of a place where many people meet, after some time, for a feast. The apos­ tles are there, except Thomas. The shepherds are there. The faithful women are there, and with Johanna, there are Nike, Eliza, Syra, Marcella, Anne. They are all speaking in low voic­ es, but with evident joyful excitement. The house is locked, as if they were afraid, but the fear from outside does not affect the joy inside. Martha goes backwards and forwards with Marcella and Su­ sanna, preparing the supper of the «servants of the Lord», as she calls the apostles. The other women and men ask one another questions, they confide their impressions, their joys and fears... like many children awaiting something that thrills them and al­ so frightens them a little. The apostles would like to appear as the most self-confi­ dent. But they are the first to become uneasy if a noise seems the knock at a door or sounds like a window that bursts open. Also Susanna, who rushes with two multi-flamed lamps to help Mar­ tha, who is looking for some table-linen, makes Matthew jump625. 12 626. 1 281

626. 2 626. 3back shouting: «The Lord! », which causes Peter, who is evident­ ly more excited than the others, to fall on his knees. 2A resolute knock at the door cuts all words short and leaves them all in suspense. I think that all their hearts are beating fast. They look through the spy-hole and open with an «Oh! » of surprise, as they see the unexpected group of the Roman ladies escorted by Longinus and by another man, who like Longinus, is wearing dark clothes. Also the ladies are all wrapped in dark mantles, which cover also their heads. They are not wearing any jewels, in order not to attract attention. «May we come in for a moment to express our joy to the Moth­ er of the Saviour? » says Plautina, who is the most respected of them all. «Do come in. She is there. » They go in, in a group, with Johanna and Mary of Magdala, who gives me the impression that she knows them very well. Longinus and the other Roman remain, separate in a corner of the hall, as they are looked at somewhat askance. The women greet with their: «Ave Domina! » and they then kneel down saying: «If previously we admired the Wisdom, now we want to be daughters of the Christ. And we are telling You. You alone can overcome the Jewish distrust towards us. We will come to You to be taught until they (and they point at the apos­ tles standing still in a group near the door) allow us to say that we are of Jesus. » It is Plautina who has spoken on behalf of everybody . Mary smiles blissfully and says: «I ask the Lord to cleanse My lips as He did with the prophet*, so that I may be able to speak worthily of My Lord. May you be blessed, the first fruits of Rome. » 3«Longinus also would like to... and the Roman lance, who felt a fire in his heart when... when at the cry of God, Earth and Heaven opened. But if we know little, they know nothing, apart that He was the Saint of God and that they no longer want to be­ long to the Error. » «You will tell them to come to the apostles. » *with the prophet, in Isaiah 6: 5-7. 282

«They are over there. But the apostles distrust them. » Mary stands up and goes towards the soldiers. The apostles look at Her go, trying to guess Her mind. «May God lead you to His Light, sons! Come! To meet the servants of the Lord. This is John. And you know him. And this is Simon Peter, chosen by My Son and Lord to be the head of the brothers. This is James and this is Judas, cousins of the Lord. This is Simon and this is Andrew, who is Peter's brother. And this is James, John's brother. And these are Philip, Bar­ tholomew and Matthew. Thomas is absent, still far away, but I mention his name as if he were present. They are the ones who have been chosen for a special mission. But these ones, who are standing humbly in the shade, are the first in the heroism of love. For over thirty years they have been preaching the Christ. Neither persecutions against them, nor the conviction of the In­ nocent have impaired their faith. Fishermen and shepherds, and you patricians. But in Jesus' name distinctions do not ex­ ist any more. Love in the Christ makes us all equal and broth­ ers. And My love calls you sons, including you of another na­ tion. Even more, I say that I find you once again after losing you, because, at the moment of sorrow, you were near My Dy­ ing Son. And I will not forget your compassion, Longinus, or your words, soldier. I looked as if I had been killed. But I saw everything. 4I do not have the possibility of rewarding you. And, really, for holy things there is no money, but only love and prayer. And that is what I will give you, praying our Lord Jesus Himself to reward you. » «We have received it, Domina. That is why we have dared to come all together. A common impulse gathered us together. Faith has already placed its tie from heart to heart» says Long­ inus. They all go near with curiosity. And there is someone who, overcoming the reluctance and perhaps the disgust of contact with heathens, says: «What did you receive? » «I, a voice, His. And it said: “Come to Me”» says Longinus. «And I heard: “If you think that I am Holy, believe in Me”» says the other soldier. «And we» says Plautina «while this morning we were speak»- ing of Him, saw a light, a light! It changed into a face. Oh! you... 626. 4 283

please say how bright it was. It was His. And He smiled so kindly at us, that we wanted only one thing, to come and say to you: “Do not reject us”. » Voices whisper making comments. They all speak, telling how they saw it. 5The ten apostles are silent, mortified. In order to recover from their unpleasant situation, and not appear as the only ones who had been left without His greetings, they ask the Hebrew women whether they were without a Passover gift. Eliza says: «He removed from my heart the sword of sorrow for the death of my son. » And Anne: «I heard His promise concerning the eternal sal­ vation of my relatives. » And Syra: «I received a caress. » And Marcella: «I saw a flash and I heard his voice say: “Per­ severe”. » «And what about you, Nike? » they ask her, since she is silent. «She had already had her gift» reply others. «No. I have seen His Face, and He said to me: “That it may be impressed on your heart”. How beautiful it was! » Martha goes backwards and forwards, silently and quickly, and does not speak. «And what about you, sister? Nothing for you? You are silent and you smile. You smile too sweetly to have no joy of your own» says the Magdalene. «It is true. Your eyes are closed and your tongue is silent, but your eyes shine so much under the veil of your eyelids, that you seem to be singing a song of love. » «Oh! speak then! Mother, did she tell You? » The mother smiles but does not speak. Martha, who is busy laying the cloth on the table, does not want to reveal her happy secret. But her sister gives her no rest. Then Martha, blushing blissfully, says: «He gave me a rendez­ vous for the hour of my death and the accomplishment of the nuptials... » and her face lights up with a brighter flush and the smile of her soul. 284626. 5

627. Jesus appears to the ten apostles in the Supper room. 6th April 1945. 1They are gathered in the Supper room. It must be late in the evening, because no noise comes from the street or the house. I think that all those, who had come earlier, have withdrawn to their houses or to sleep, tired of so many emotions. The ten apostles, instead, after eating some fish, some of which is still left on a tray on a sideboard, are conversing in the light of only one little flame of the chandelier, the one closest to the table, at which they are still sitting. Their conversation is fragmentary, and sounds like monologues, as each seems to be talking to him­ self, rather than to his companion. And the others let him speak, while they, in turn, speak of something completely different. But one feels that these rambling talks, that give me the impression of the spokes of a broken wheel, deal with one subject only, which is their centre, even if they are so disconnected, and it is Jesus. 2«I hope that Lazarus has not misunderstood, and that the women have understood better than he did... » says Judas of Al­ phaeus. «At what time did the Roman lady say that she saw Him? » asks Matthew. No one replies to him. «I am going to Capernaum tomorrow» says Andrew. «How wonderful! To arrange things in such a way that Clau­ dia's litter should come out just at that moment! » says Bar­ tholomew. «We made a mistake in coming away at once this morning, Peter... If we had stayed, we would have seen Him as the Magda­ lene did» says John with a sigh. «I don't understand how He could be at Emmaus and at the mansion house at the same time. And how He was here with His Mother and there with the Magdalene and at Johanna's all at the same time... » says James of Zebedee talking to himself. «He will not come. I have not wept enough to deserve it... He is right. I say that He will keep me waiting for three days be­ cause of my three denials. How was I able to do that? » «How transfigured was Lazarus! I tell you: he looked like a627. 1 627. 2 285

sun himself. I think that it happened to him as it did to Moses after he had seen God. And immediately after-it's true, isn't it, you who were there?-immediately after he had offered his life! » says the Zealot. No one listens to him. 3James of Alphaeus turns towards John and asks: «What did He say to those from Emmaus? I think that He excused us, did He not? Did He not say that everything happened because we Israel­ ites failed to understand the nature of His Kingdom? » John does not pay attention to him, and turning round to look at Philip, he says... wasting his breath, because he does not speak to Philip: «It is sufficient for me to know that He has risen. And then... And then that my love may be stronger and strong­ er. You have noticed this, eh! If you consider things properly, He has gone in proportion to the love we have had: the Mother, Mary Magdalene, the children, my mother and yours, and then La­ zarus and Martha... When did He appear to Martha? I say when she intoned David's psalm*: “The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He has laid me in meadows of green grass, He has led me to waters of repose. He has called my soul to Himself... “Do you remember how she made our hearts beat violently with that unexpected song? And those words are connected to what she said: “He has called my soul to Himself”. Martha, in fact, seems to have found her way again... Previously, she, the strong wom­ an, was lost! Perhaps, when calling her, He told her the place where He wants her. And more than that, it is certain, because, if He gave her a rendezvous, He must know where she will be. What did she mean by: “accomplishment of the nuptials”? » Philip, who has looked at him for a moment, and then has left him to talk to himself, says moaning: «If He comes, I shall not know what to say to Him... I ran away... and I feel that I will run away. Previously out of fear of men. Now out of fear of Him. » «Everybody says: He is most handsome. Can He be more handsome than He already was? » asks Bartholomew. «I will say to Him: “You forgave me without saying one word, when I was a publican. Forgive me also now with Your silence, because my cowardice does not deserve Your Word”» says Mat­ thew. * David's Psalm, that is: Psalm 23. 286627. 3

«Longinus said that he was thinking: “Shall I ask Him to be cured or to believe? ” But his heart said: “To believe”, and then the Voice said: “Come to Me”, and he felt that he wanted to be­ lieve and that he was cured at the same time. That is exactly what he told me» states Judas of Alphaeus. «My mind is always fixed on the idea that Lazarus was re­ warded at once because of his offering... I also said: “My life for Your glory”. But He has not come» says the Zealot with a sigh. 4«What do you think, Simon? As you are a learned man, tell me: what shall I say to Him to make Him understand that I love Him and I ask Him to forgive me? And you, John? You have con­ versed a great deal with the Mother. Help me. If you are compas­ sionate, you cannot leave poor Peter alone! » John feels pity for his dejected companion and says: «Well... I would simply say to Him: “I love You”. Repentance and the wish for forgiveness are also included in love. But... I don't know. Si­ mon, what do you think? » And the Zealot: «I would say what was the cry for miracles: “Jesus, have mercy on me! ” I would say: “Jesus”. Nothing else. Because He is by far more than the Son of David! » «That is exactly what I think and makes me tremble. Oh! I will hide my head... Also this morning I was afraid of seeing Him and... » «... and then you were the first to go in. But don't be so afraid. One would think that you do not know Him» says John encour­ aging him. 5The room lightens brightly, as if there were a dazzling flash. The apostles cover their faces, fearing it is lightning. But they hear no noise and they raise their heads. Jesus is in the middle of the room, near the table. He stretches out His arms saying: «Peace be with you. » No one replies. Some look paler, some flush, they all look at Him with fear and embarrassment. They are fascinated and at the same time they are almost anxious to run away. Jesus takes a step forward, smiling more brightly. «But do not be so afraid! It is I. Why are you so upset? Were you not wishing to see Me? Did I not let you know that I would come? Did I not tell you on Passover evening? » No one dare open his mouth. Peter is already weeping, and627. 4 627. 5 287

627. 6 627. 7John is already smiling, while His two cousins, with shining eyes and lips that tremble without uttering a word, look like two statues representing desire. «Why do you have in your hearts thoughts that are in such contrast between doubt and faith, love and fear? Why do you still want to be flesh and not spirit, and only with the latter see, understand, judge, act? Have your old egos not been completely burnt by the flame of sorrow, and have your new egos not risen to a new life? 6I am Jesus. Your Jesus, Who has risen from the dead, as He had said. Look, John has seen My wounds, and you all, who are not aware of My torture. Because what you know is quite different from the exact knowledge that John has. Come, be the first. You are already completely cleansed. So cleansed that you can touch Me without fear. Love, obedience, loyalty had already cleansed you. My Blood, which wetted you com­ pletely when you took Me down from the Cross, has finished cleansing you. Look. These are real hands and real wounds. Look at My feet. Can you see that the mark is that of the nail? Yes. It is really I and not a ghost. Touch Me. Ghosts do not have bodies. I have real flesh on a real skeleton. » He lays His Hand on the head of John who has dared to approach Him: «Can you feel it? It is warm and heavy. » He breathes on his face: «And this is My breath. » «Oh! my Lord! » John whispers in a low voice, so... «Yes. Your Lord. John, do not weep out of fear and desire. Come to Me. I am always the one who loves you. Let us sit down, as usual, at the table. Have you nothing to eat? Well, give Me it. » Andrew and Matthew, with the gestures of sleep-walkers, from the sideboards take bread and fish, and a tray with a hon­ eycomb, a corner of which has just been nibbled at. Jesus offers the food and eats, and gives each of them a little of what He eats. And He looks at them. He is so kind and so ma­ jestic that they are paralysed. 7James, John's brother, is the first who dares to speak: «Why do You look at us so? » «Because I want to know you. » «Do You not know us yet? » «As you do not know Me. If you knew Me, you would know Who I am and how I love you, and you would find words to tell Me 288

your torture. You are silent, as if you were before a mighty stran­ ger of whom you are afraid. Not long ago you were speaking... For almost four days you have been talking to yourselves saying: “I will say this to Him... ”, saying to My Spirit: “Come back, Lord, that I may tell You this”. Now I have come, and you are silent? Have I changed so much that I no longer seem Myself to you? Or have you changed so much that you no longer love Me? » John, sitting near his Jesus, makes the usual gesture of laying his head on His chest, while he whispers: «I love You, my God», but he becomes stiff, preventing such abandon out of respect for the shining Son of God. Because Jesus seems to be shedding a light, although His Body is like ours. But Jesus clasps him to His Heart, and then John opens the flood-gates to his blissful tears. And it is the sign for everybody to do the same. 8Peter, two seats behind John, falls on his knees between the 627. 8 table and the seat and he weeps shouting: «Forgive me, forgive me! Take me out of this hell in which I have been for so many hours. Tell me that You have seen my error for what it was. Not of the spirit, but of the flesh that overwhelmed my heart. Tell me that You have seen my repentance... It will last until my death. But... but do tell me that I must not fear You as Jesus... and I, and I... I will try to behave so well, as to make also God forgive me... and die... having only a long purgatory to suffer. » «Come here, Simon of Jonah. » «I am afraid. » «Come here. Be no longer cowardly. » «I do not deserve to come near You. » «Come here. What did My Mother say to you? “If you do not look at Him on this veronica, you will never have the heart to look at Him again”. O foolish man! Did that Face not tell you with its sorrowful look that I understood you and forgave you? And yet I gave that linen as comfort, guide, absolution and blessing... But what has Satan done to you to blind you so much? Now I say to you: if you do not look at Me now, that I have spread a veil on My glory to adapt Myself to your weakness, never again will you be able to come to your Lord without fear. And then what will hap­ pen to you? You sinned out of presumption. Do you want now to sin again out of obstinacy? Come, I tell you. » 289

627. 9 627. 10Peter drags himself along on his knees, between the table and the seats, covering his weeping face with his hands. Jesus stops him when he is at His feet, by laying His Hand on his head. Pe­ ter, weeping more bitterly, takes that Hand and kisses it, amid hearty sobs without restraint. He can only say: «Forgive me! Forgive me! » Jesus frees Himself from his grip and lifting the chin of the apostle with His hand. He compels him to raise his head, and He stares at his reddened, burnt eyes, tortured by repentance, with His own clear bright Eyes. He seems to be wishing to pierce his soul. He then says: «Come on. Remove the shame of Judas from Me. Kiss Me where he kissed Me. Wash with your kiss the sign of betrayal. » Peter raises his head, while Jesus bends even more, and he touches His cheek lightly... then he rests his head on Jesus' knees and remains thus... like an old child who has done wrong but is forgiven. 9The others, who now see Jesus' kindness, become somewhat daring, and they approach Him, as best they can. His cousins are the first to come... They would like to say so much, but they do not succeed in saying anything. Jesus caresses them and encourages them with His smile. Matthew comes with Andrew. Matthew says: «As in Caper­ naum... », and Andrew: «I... I love You, I do. » Bartholomew comes moaning: «I was not wise, but foolish. He is wise» and he points at the Zealot, at whom Jesus is already smiling. James of Zebedee comes and he whispers to John: «You should tell Him... »; and Jesus turns round and says: «You have said it for four evenings, and I have pitied you all that time. » Philip, the last, comes completely stooped. Jesus compels him to raise his head and says to him: «Greater courage is required to preach the Christ. » 10They are all now around Jesus. They pluck up courage lit­ tle by little. They find again what they had lost or had feared they had lost for good. Confidence and tranquillity come to light again and, although Jesus is so majestic as to make His apostles have a new respect for Him, they at long last find the courage to speak. 290

It is His cousin James who says with a sigh: «Why have You done this to us, Lord? You knew that we are nothing and that eve­ rything comes from God. Why did You not give us the strength to remain beside You? » Jesus looks at him and smiles. «Now everything has happened. And You do not have to suf­ fer anything any more. But do not ask this sort of obedience of me any more. I have grown five years older every hour, and Your sufferings, which love and Satan have also increased five times more in my imagination than what they really were, have really consumed all my strength. I have left only what I need to con­ tinue to obey, holding, like one who is drowning with his hands broken, my strength with my will, like teeth set on a board, in order not to perish... Oh! do not ask Your leper that any more. » Jesus looks at Simon Zealot and smiles. «Lord, You know what my heart wanted. But later I no longer had my heart... as if the rascals who had captured You had torn it off me... and I was left with a hole through which all my previ­ ous thoughts escaped. Why did You allow that, Lord? » asks An­ drew. «I... you say it was your heart? I say that I was one who no longer had his reason. Like one who is struck by a club on the nape of his neck. When, at dead of night, I found myself at Jeri­ cho... oh! God! God!... But can a man perish like that? I say that that is what possession is like. Now I realise what is that dread­ ful thing!... » Philip opens his eyes wide at the recollection of his suffering. «Philip is right. I was looking back. I am old and not devoid of wisdom. And I did not know anything of what I had known till that hour. 11I looked at Lazarus, so tortured but so sure of him­ self, and I said to myself: “But how can it be possible that he still knows how to find a reason and I can no longer find anything? » says Bartholomew. «I also was looking at Lazarus. And as I hardly know what You have explained to us, I was not thinking of knowledge. But I said to myself: “If at least my heart were like his! ”; instead I felt nothing but grief, grief, grief. Lazarus was grieved but had peace... Why so much peace for him? » Jesus in turn looks first at Philip, then at Bartholomew and627. 11 291

then at James of Zebedee. He smiles and is silent. Judas says: «I was hoping to get to see what Lazarus certain­ ly saw. That is why I was always close to him... His face!... A mirror. Shortly before the earthquake on Friday he was like a man who is crushed to death. Then all of a sudden he became im­ posing in his grief. Do you remember when he said: “An accom­ plished duty gives peace”? We all thought that it was only a re­ proach for us or an approval for himself. Now I think that he said so referring to You. Lazarus was like a lighthouse in our dark­ ness. How much You have given him, Lord! » Jesus smiles and is silent. «Yes. His life. And perhaps with it You have given him a dif­ ferent soul. Because, after all, in what is he different from us? And yet he is no longer a man. He is already something more than a man, and considering what he was in the past, he should have been even less perfect in spirit than we are. But he has made himself, and we... Lord, my love has been empty like cer­ tain ears of wheat. I have produced only chaff» says Andrew. And Matthew: «I cannot ask for anything. Because I have al­ ready received so much with my conversion. Of course! I should have liked to have what Lazarus had. A soul given by You. Be­ cause I also think as Andrew does... » «Also the Magdalene and Martha were like lighthouses. It must be their race. You did not see them. One was piety and silence. The other! If we were like a bundle round the Blessed Mother, it is because Mary of Magdala grouped us together with the flames of her courageous love. Yes. I said: the race. But I must say: love. They have exceeded us in love. That is why they have been what they have been» says John. Jesus smiles and is always silent. «But they have received a great reward for it... » «You appeared to them. » «To the three of them. » «To Mary immediately after Your Mother... » It is clear that the apostles have a regret for these privileged apparitions. «Mary for so many hours has known that You had risen. And we can only see You now... » «They are no longer in doubt. With us, instead, well... only 292

now we feel that nothing has come to an end. Why to them, Lord, if You still love us and You do not reject us? » asks Judas of Al­ phaeus. «Yes. Why to the women, and in particular to Mary? You also touched her forehead, and she says that she seems to be wearing an eternal crown. And to us, Your apostles, nothing... » 12Jesus no longer smiles. His Face is not upset, but He has stopped smiling. He looks gravely at Peter, who was the last to speak, recovering boldness as his fear vanishes, and He says: «I had twelve apostles. And I loved them with all My Heart. I had chosen them and like a mother I took care to bring them up in My Life. I had no secrets for them. I told them everything, I explained everything, I forgave everything. Their humanity, their thoughtlessness, and their stubbornness... everything. And I had some disciples. Some rich and some poor disciples. I had women with a gloomy past or of a delicate constitution. But the apostles were the favourite ones. My hour came. One betrayed Me and handed Me over to the executioners. Three slept while I was sweating blood. All of them, with the exception of two, ran away cowardly. One denied Me out of fear, although he had the example of another one, who was young and faithful. And, as if it were not enough, among the twelve I had a desperate suicide and one who doubted My forgiveness so much that only with difficulty and through ma­ ternal words he believed in God's Mercy. So that, if I had looked at My group, if I had looked at it with human eyes, I should have said: “With the exception of John, faithful out of love, and of Simon, faithful to obedience, I no longer have disciples”. That is what I should have said while I was suffering in the enclo­ sure of the Temple, in the Praetorium, along the streets, on the Cross. 13I had some women... And one, the most guilty in the past, has been, as John said, the flame that has joined together the broken fibres of hearts. That woman is Mary of Magdala. You denied Me and you ran away. She defied death to be close to Me. When they insulted her, she uncovered her face, ready to receive spittle and slaps, considering that by doing so she would resemble her cruci­ fied King more. And when people sneered at her from the depth of their hearts because of her firm faith in My Resurrection, she627. 12 627. 13 293

continued to believe. Although tortured, she took action. When she was desolate this morning she said: “I will divest myself of everything, but give me my Master”. Can you still dare to ask Me: “Why to her? ” I had some poor disciples: the shepherds. I did not approach them very often, and yet how able they were to acknowledge Me with their faithfulness! I had some shy women disciples, like all the Hebrew women. And yet they left their homes and amid a tremendous crowd of people that cursed Me, they came to give Me that assistance that My apostles had denied Me. I had some heathen women who admired the “philosopher”. Such was I for them. But the mighty Roman ladies were able to lower themselves to Hebrew customs, to say to Me, in the hour that I was forsaken by a world of ungrateful people: “We are friends of Yours. ” 14My face was covered with spittle and blood. Tears and per­ spiration dripped on My wounds. Filth and dust encrusted them. Whose hands cleansed Me? Yours? Or yours? Or yours? None of your hands. This man was near My Mother. This one was gath­ ering together the scattered sheep. You. And if My sheep were scattered, how could they help Me? You were concealing your faces, because you were afraid of the scorn of the world, while your Master was covered with the contempt of all the world. And He was innocent. I was thirsty. Yes. You had better know also that. I was dying of thirst. I had nothing but a temperature and pain. My Blood had already been shed in Gethsemane, drawn by the grief of be­ ing betrayed, forsaken, denied, beaten, overwhelmed by the in­ finite sins and by God's severity. And it had been shed in the Praetorium... Who thought of giving Me a drop of water for My parched throat? A hand of Israel? No. The pity of a heathen. The same hand that, by an eternal decree, opened My chest to show that My Heart already had a mortal wound, the one made by lack of love, by cowardice and by the betrayal. A heathen. I remind you: “I was thirsty and you gave Me drink”. There was not even one person in the whole of Israel who gave Me comfort, either out of lack of possibility to do so, as in the case of My Mother and the faithful women, or because of bad will. And for the Unknown 294627. 14

One a heathen found the pity that My people had denied Me. In Heaven he will find the sip he gave Me. I solemnly tell you that, while I refused all comforts, be­ cause when one is a Victim one must not mitigate one's destiny, I did not want to reject the heathen, in whose offer I tasted the sweetness of all the love that will come to Me from the Gen­ tiles, as compensation for the bitterness Israel gave Me. It did not quench My thirst, but it relieved My dejection. That is why I took that ignored sip. To draw to Me him who was already in­ clined towards Good. May he be blessed by the Father for his pity! 15Are you no longer speaking? Why do you not continue to ask Me why I acted so. Do you not dare ask? I will tell you. I will tell you everything of the whys of this hour. Who are you? My continuators. Yes, you are, notwithstanding your bewilderment. What are you to do? To convert the world to Christ. Convert it! It is the most delicate and difficult matter, My friends. Indignation, disgust, pride, excessive zeal, are all harm­ ful to success. But, as nothing and nobody would induce you to be kind, complying, charitable with those who are in darkness, it has been necessary-do you understand?-it has been necessary for you, once for all, to crush your pride of Hebrews, of males, of apostles, to make room only for the true wisdom of your min­ istry: for meekness, patience, compassion, love without ostenta­ tion and disgust. You can see that everybody, among those whom you looked at with scorn or with proud indulgence, has exceeded you in be­ lieving and in acting. Everybody. The woman who had sinned in the past. Lazarus, imbued with profane culture, the first who in My Name has forgiven and guided. And the heathen ladies. And Chuza's delicate wife. Delicate? She really surpasses all of you! The first martyr of My faith. And the soldiers of Rome. And the shepherds. And the Herodian Manaen. And even Gamaliel, the rabbi. Do not start, John. Do you think that My Spirit was in darkness? All of you. And I say this so that in future, remember­ ing your error, you may not close your hearts to those who come to the Cross. I tell you. And I know that, although I tell you, you will not. do it until the Strength of the Lord bends you like twigs to My627. 15 295

627. 16 627. 17Will, which is to have Christians all over the Earth. I defeated Death. But it is not so hard as old Hebraism. But I will bend you. 16You, Peter, instead of weeping dejectedly, since you are to be the Stone of My Church, have these bitter truths engraved in your heart. Myrrh is used to preserve from corruption. So, be­ come imbued with myrrh. And when you want to close your heart and the Church to someone of a different faith, remember that it was not Israel, it was not Israel, it was not Israel, but it was Rome that defended Me and took pity on Me. Remember that not you, but a woman, a sinner, remained at the foot of the Cross and de­ served to be the first to see Me. And in order not to be worthy of reproach, be the imitator of your God. Open your heart and the Church saying: “I, poor Peter, cannot despise anybody, because if I do, I shall be despised by God, and my error will become alive once again in His eyes”. Woe to you, if I had not broken you so! You would not have become a shepherd, but a wolf. » 17Jesus stands up. He looks most imposing. «My children. I will speak to you again, while I remain among you. But, in the meantime, I absolve you and forgive you. May the peace of forgiveness come to you, after the trial, that, although humiliating and cruel, has been beneficial and necessary. And with this peace in your hearts, become once again My faithful strong friends. The Father sent Me into the world. I send you into the world to continue My evangelization. All kinds of miseries will come to you asking for relief. Be kind, thinking of your mis­ ery when you remained without your Jesus. Be enlightened. It is not possible to see in darkness. Be pure to give purity. Be love, to love. Then He will come, Who is Light, Purification and Love. But in the meantime, to prepare you for your ministry, I commu­ nicate the Holy Spirit to you. For those whose sins you forgive, they will be forgiven. For those whose sins you retain, they will be retained. May your experience make you just in judging. May the Holy Spirit make you saints, so that you may sanctify. May your sincere wish to overcome your faults make you heroes for the life expecting you. What is still to be said, I will tell you when your absent companion has come. Pray for him. Remain with My peace and without being upset by doubts about My love. » And Jesus disappears as He had come in, leaving an empty 296

place between John and Peter. He disappears in a flash that is so bright that it makes the apostles close their eyes. And when their dazzled eyes are opened again, they find that only Jesus' peace is left, a flame that burns and cures and consumes the bitterness of the past in one only desire: to serve. 628. The return of Thomas and his incredulity. 7th April 1945. 1The ten apostles are in the court-yard of the house of the Sup­ per room. They are talking to one another and then they pray. Later they resume speaking. Simon Zealot says: «I am really distressed at Thomas' disap­ pearance. I do not know where to look for him any more. » «Neither do I» says John. «He is not with his relatives. And no one has seen him. Has he perhaps been arrested? » «If that were the case, the Master would not have said: “I will tell you the rest when your absent companion is here”. » «That is true. But I want to go to Bethany again. Perhaps he is wandering about those mountains and does not dare show him­ self. » «Go, Simon. You gathered us all together... and by gathering us you saved us, because you took us to Lazarus. Did you hear what words the Master spoke of him? He said: “The first who in My Name has forgiven and guided”. Why does He not put him in the place of the Iscariot? » asks Matthew. «Probably because He does not want to give His perfect friend the place of the betrayer» replies Philip. 2«A short while ago, I heard, when I was going round the markets and I spoke to the fishmongers, who... I can trust, of course, that those of the Temple do not know what to do with Judas' body. I do not know who it was... but at dawn this morn­ ing the guards of the Temple found his putrid body inside the sa­ cred enclosure, with the rope still round his neck. I think it must have been some heathens who pulled him down and threw him in there, who knows how» says Peter. «Instead, yesterday evening at the fountain I was told, I628. 1 628. 2 297

heard them say that since yesterday evening they threw the bowels of the traitor even at Annas' house. Heathens, certainly. Because no Hebrew would touch that body after more than five days. I wonder how rotten it must have been! » says James of Alphaeus. «Oh! it was horrible since the Sabbath! » says John turning pale at the recollection. «But how did he end up in that place? Did it belong to him? » «And who was ever told anything precise by Judas of Kerio­ th? Remember how reserved and complicated he was... » «You can say: false, Bartholomew. He was never sincere. He was with us for three years, and we, who had everything in com­ mon, before him were like people before the high wall of a for­ tress. » «Of a fortress? Oh! Simon! Of a labyrinth! » exclaims Judas of Alphaeus. «Oh! listen. Let us not speak of him! I get the impression that we are evoking him and that he is to come to give us trouble. I should like to cancel his memory from me and from all hearts, whether they are the hearts of Hebrews or of Gentiles. Of He­ brews, in order not to blush because our race gave birth to that monster. Of Gentiles, so that none of them may say to us one day: 628. 3 “His betrayer was one from Israel”. 3I am a boy. And I should not be the first one to speak before you. I am the last and you, Pe­ ter, are the first. And here is the Zealot and Bartholomew, both learned men, and there are the brothers of the Lord. But, now, I should like to put one in the twelfth place at once, someone who is holy, because, as long as I see that empty place in our group, I shall see the mouth of hell with its stench among us. And I am afraid that it may lead us astray... » «No, John! You have been struck by the ugliness of his crime and of his hanging body... » «No, no. The Mother also said: “I saw Satan when I saw Judas of Kerioth”. Oh! let us be quick in finding a holy person to put in that place! » «Listen, I am not going to choose anybody. If He, Who was God, chose an Iscariot, what will poor Peter choose? » «And yet you will have to... » «No, my dear friend. I am not choosing anything. I will ask 298

the Lord. Enough of the sins committed by Peter! » 4«We have to ask so many things. The other evening we were 628. 4 like dull-witted people. But we must be taught. Because... How will we be able to understand whether a thing is really a sin? Or whether it is not? You have seen how the Lord speaks of the heathens in a different manner than we do. You have seen how He excuses more cowardice and a denial than the doubt about the possibility of His forgiveness... Oh! I am afraid of doing the wrong thing» says James of Alphaeus disconsolately. «He has really spoken to us so much. And yet I seem to know nothing. I have been dull-witted for a week» states the other James dejectedly. «And I. » «And I. » «I, too. » They are all in the same situation and they look at each other utterly bewildered. They have recourse to the solution which is by now customary: «We shall go to Lazarus» they say. «We may find the Lord there... and Lazarus will help us. » 5There is a knock at the main door. They all become silent and 628. 5 listen. And they utter an «oh! » of surprise when they see Elias come into the hall with Thomas. Such a strange Thomas that he seems another person. His companions crowd round him shouting their joy: «Do you know that He has risen and has come? And He is waiting for you so that He may come back! » «Yes. Also Elias told me. But I do not believe it. I believe what I see. And I see that it is the end for us. I see that we are all scat­ tered. I see that there is not even a known sepulchre where we may mourn over His death. I see that the Sanhedrin wants to get rid of both their accomplice, whose burial they have decreed at the foot of the olive-tree where he hanged himself, as if he were a filthy animal, and of the followers of the Nazarene. On Friday I was stopped at the gates and they said to me: “Were you one of His followers as well? He is dead, now. Go back to beating gold”. And I ran away... » «Where? We have looked for you everywhere. » «Where? I went towards the house of my sister at Ramah. But I did not dare to go in because... I did not want to be reproached 299

628. 6by a woman. So I wandered about the Judaean mountains and yesterday I ended up at Bethlehem, in His grotto. How much I wept... I fell asleep among the ruins and Elias, who had come there... I do not know why, found me. » «Why? Because in the hours of too great a joy or too great a sorrow, one goes where God is more felt. Many a time, in these past years, I have gone there by night, like a thief, to feel my soul being caressed by the remembrance of His cries. And then I would run away at sunrise, in order not to be stoned. But I was already comforted. Now I went there to say to that place: “I am happy” and to take what I can from it. That is what we have de­ cided. We want to preach His Faith. And the strength to do so will be given to us by a bit of that will, by a handful of that soil, by a splinter of those poles. We are not holy, as to dare to take the earth of Calvary... » «You are right, Elias. We shall have to do that as well. And we will. But Thomas?... » «Thomas slept and wept. I said to him: “Wake up and stop weeping. He has risen”. He would not believe me. But I insisted so much that I convinced him. Here he is. He is now with you and I will go away. I will join my companions who are going to Gali­ lee. Peace to you. » Elias goes away. 6«Thomas: He has risen. I am telling you. He was with us. He ate some food. He spoke. He blessed us. He forgave us. He has given us the power to forgive. Oh! Why did you not come before? » Thomas does not shake off his dejection. He stubbornly shakes his head. «I do not believe. You have seen a ghost. You are all mad. The women first of all. A dead man does not rise by himself. » «A man, no. But He is God. Do you not believe that? » «Yes. I believe that He is God. But, just because I Believe that, I think and say that, no matter how good he is, He cannot be so good to the extent of coming among those who have loved Him so little. And I say that, however humble He may be, He must have had enough of humiliating Himself in our filthy flesh. No. He may be, He certainly is triumphant in Heaven, and, perhaps, He may appear as a spirit. I say: perhaps. We do not deserve even that! But risen in flesh and bones, no. I do not believe it. » «But we have kissed Him, we have seen Him eat, we have 300

heard His voice, we have felt His hand, we have seen His wounds! » «Nothing. I do not believe it. I cannot believe. I should see in order to believe. If I do not see the holes of the nails in His hands, and I do not put my finger into them, if I do not touch the wounds of His feet and if I do not put my hand where the lance opened His chest, I will not believe. I am not a child or a woman. I want evidence. I reject what my reason cannot accept. And I cannot accept your word. » «But Thomas! Do you think that we want to deceive you? » «No, my poor fellows. On the contrary! May you be blessed since you are so kind as to wish to guide me to that peace, that you have succeeded in giving yourselves through this illusion of yours. But... I do not believe in His Resurrection. » «Are you not afraid of being punished by Him? He hears and sees everything, you know? » «I ask Him to convince me. I am gifted with reason, and I make use of it. Let Him, the Master of human reason, revise mine if it has been led astray. » «But reason, He said so, is free. » «All the more reason for not making it the slave of a collec­ tive suggestion. I love you and I love the Lord. I will serve Him as best I can and I will stay with you to help you to serve Him. I will preach His doctrine. But I can only believe by seeing. » And Thomas, obstinate, listens only to himself. They speak to him of all those who have seen Him and how they have seen Him. They advise him to speak to the Mother. But he shakes his head, sitting on a stone seat, more stony himself than the seat. As ob­ stinate as a child, he repeats: «I will believe if I see... » The big word of unhappy people who deny what is so pleasant and holy to believe, admitting that God can do everything. 629. Jesus appears to the apostles with Thomas. Speech on priesthood and the future priests. [9th August 1944] 1The apostles are gathered in the Supper room, around the ta­ ble where the Passover supper was consumed. But out of respect,629. 1 301

the central seat, that of Jesus, has been left empty. Also the apostles, now that there is no longer One Who groups and distributes them according to His will or by choice of love, have placed themselves differently. Peter is still in his place. But Judas Thaddeus is now in John's place. Then comes Bartholomew, the oldest of the apostles, then James, John's brother, almost at the corner of the table on the right hand side, with respect to me who am looking on. John is sitting near James, but on the narrow side of the table. After Peter, instead, comes Matthew, and after him Thomas, then Philip, then Andrew, then James, Judas Thad­ deus' brother, and Simon Zealot on the other sides. The long side in front of Peter is empty, as the apostles are sitting closer than they were at Passover. The windows are closed and the doors are locked. The lamp, of which only two flames are lit, sheds a feeble light only on the table. The rest of the large room is in a dim light. As there is a sideboard behind him, John is entrusted with the task of serving his companions with what they wish of their frugal meal, consisting of fish, which is on the table, bread, honey and fresh cheese. As he turns again towards the table, to give his elder brother the cheese he asked for, John sees the Lord. 2Jesus has appeared in a very strange manner. The central part of the wall behind the apostles sitting at the table-a wall all of one piece except for the little door in the corner-brightens up at about one metre from the floor, with a feeble phosphoric light, like that shed by certain little pictures, which are lumi­ nous only in the dark at night. The light, about two metres high, is oval, like a niche. From the brilliancy, as if He were advancing from behind veils of luminous mist, Jesus emerges with increas­ ing neatness. I do not know whether I have made myself understood. His Body seems to flow through the thickness of the wall, which does not open. It remains compact, but the Body passes just the same. Light seems to be the first emanation of His Body, the announce­ ment of His approach. The Body at first consists of soft lines of light, as in Heaven I see the Father and the holy angels: immate­ rial. Then it becomes more and more material, taking the aspect of a real body in everything, that of His Divine glorified Body. 302629. 2

It has taken me a long time to describe this, but it happened in a few seconds. Jesus is dressed in white, as when He rose and appeared to His Mother. He is most handsome, loving and smiling. He is standing with His arms along the sides of His Body, a little detached from it, but with His Hands towards the floor and the palms towards the apostles. The two wounds of His Hands are like two diamond stars, from which two very bright beams issue. I do not see His Feet, covered by His tunic, or His Chest. But from the fabric of His garment, which is not an earthly one, light emanates where the divine Wounds are concealed. At the beginning Jesus seems to be nothing but a Body of lunar whiteness, later, when it mate­ rialises appearing outside the halo of light, His hair, eyes, skin have their natural colours. In short, it is Jesus, Jesus-Man-God, but looking more solemn now that He has risen. 3John sees Him when He is already like that. Nobody else had 629. 3 become aware of the apparition. John jumps to his feet, dropping the plate of the little round whole cheeses on the table and, lay­ ing his hands on the edge of the table, he bends a little towards it sideways, as if he were attracted by a magnet, and in a low sub­ dued voice he utters an intensely expressive «Oh! ». The others, who had raised their heads from their plates at the noisy fall of the plate of the cheese and at John's start and had looked at him with astonishment, when they see his ecstatic pos­ ture, look in the same direction as he is looking. They turn their heads or they turn round, according to their position with re­ spect to the Master, and they see Jesus. They all stand up, deeply moved and happy, and they rush towards Him, as He, smiling more brightly advances towards them, walking now on the floor like all mortals. Jesus, Who previously looked fixedly only at John, and I think that the latter turned round because he felt attracted by that glance that caressed him, looks at them all and says: «Peace to you. » They are all now around Him, some on their knees at His feet, and among these there is Peter with John-and John even kisses the hem of His tunic and presses it to his face as if he wished to be caressed by it-some farther back, standing, but stooping in a respectful attitude. 303

Peter, to arrive quicker, jumps over the seat without waiting for Matthew to come out first and make room for him. It must be borne in mind that the couch-seat served for two persons at a time. 4The only one who has remained a little farther away, some­ what embarrassed, is Thomas. He is on his knees near the table. But he dare not come forward, on the contrary, he seems to be trying to hide behind the corner of the table. Jesus, while stretching out His Hands to be kissed-the apos­ tles seek them with holy loving eagerness-looks around at the lowered heads, as if He were looking for the eleventh. He has actually seen him from the very beginning and He is behaving so only to give Thomas time to pluck up courage and come for­ ward. When He sees that the incredulous apostle dare not do so, ashamed as he is of his lack of faith, He calls him: «Thomas. Come here. » Thomas raises his head; embarrassed, almost in tears, but he dare not go. He lowers his head again. Jesus takes a few steps towards him and repeats: «Come here, Thomas. » Jesus' voice is more authoritative than the first time. Thomas stands up reluctantly, abashed, and goes towards Je­ sus. «Here is the man who does not believe unless he sees! » ex­ claims Jesus. But in His voice there is the smile of forgiveness. Thomas feels that, he dares to look at Jesus and sees that He is really smiling, so he musters up courage and walks faster. «Come here, quite close to Me. Look. Put your finger, if it is not sufficient for you to look, into the wounds of your Master. » Jesus has stretched His Hands out, then He has opened His tunic on His chest, uncovering the gash on His Side. No light em­ anates now from the Wounds. It no longer emanates since He be­ gan to walk like a mortal Man, when He came out of the halo of lunar light, and the Wounds now appear in their bloody reality: two irregular holes, the left one of which extends as far as the thumb, and they pierce a wrist and a palm at its base, and a long gash, which in the upper part is lightly curved like a circumflex accent, on His Side. Thomas trembles, looks but does not touch. He moves his lips, but is not able to speak clearly. 304629. 4

«Give Me your hand, Thomas» says Jesus so kindly. And with His right hand He takes the right one of the apostle, He grasps his forefinger and takes it towards the hole of His left Hand, He thrusts it well into it, to make him feel that His palm has been pierced, and then from His Hand He takes it to His Side. Now He grasps the four fingers of Thomas, at their base, at the metacarpus, and puts those four big fingers into the gash of His Side, making them go in deeply, not limiting Himself to lean­ ing them against its edge, and He holds them there, looking fix­ edly at Thomas. A severe yet kind look, while he continues to say: «... Put your finger here, put your fingers and also your hand, if you wish so, into My Side and do not doubt, but believe. » That is what He says while doing what I have said previously. Thomas-it would appear that the closeness of the divine Heart, which He almost touches, has communicated courage to him-succeeds at last in speaking and uttering words, and fall­ ing on his knees with his arms raised and bursting into tears of repentance, he says: «My Lord and My God! » He cannot say any­ thing else. Jesus forgives him. He lays His right hand on his head and replies: «Thomas, Thomas! You believe now because you have seen... But blessed are those who will believe in Me without see­ ing! Which reward shall I have to give them, if I have to reward you, whose faith has been assisted by the power of seeing?... » 5Then Jesus lays His arm on John's shoulder, He takes Peter by the hand and approaches the table. He sits at His place. They are now sitting as they Were on Passover evening. But Jesus wants Thomas to sit next to John. «Eat, My friends» says Jesus. But no one is hungry any more. Joy fills them. The joy of con­ templation. So Jesus gathers together the little cheeses scattered on the table, He puts them on a plate, He cuts them and hands them out, and He gives the first bit just to Thomas, laying it on a piece of bread and passing it behind John's shoulders; He pours wine from the amphorae into a chalice and hands it to His friends: this time Peter is the first to be served. Then He has some hon­ eycombs given to Him, He breaks them and gives the first bit to John, with a smile which is sweeter than the golden trickling629. 5 305

629. 6 629. 7honey. And to encourage them He eats some of it Himself. He tastes nothing but the honey. John with his usual gesture rests his head on Jesus' shoulder, and Jesus draws him to His Heart and speaks holding him so. 6«You must not get upset, My friends, when I appear to you. I am always your Master, Who has shared with you food and sleep and Who has chosen you because He loves you. I love you also now. » Jesus lays much stress upon these last words. «You» He continues «have been with Me in the trials... You will be with Me also in the glory. Do not lower your heads. On Sunday evening, when I came to you for the first time after My Resurrection, I infused the Holy Spirit into you... may the Spirit come also to you who were not present... Do you not know that the infusion of the Spirit is like a baptism of fire, because the Spirit is Love, and love cancels sins? Therefore your sin of deser­ tion, while I was dying, is forgiven. » In saying so Jesus kisses the head of John who did not desert, and John weeps for joy. «I have given you the power to remit sins. But one cannot give what one does not possess. So you must be certain that I pos­ sess this power in a perfect manner and I make use of it for you, who must be pure in the highest degree to purify those who will come to you, soiled with sin. How could one judge and purify, if one deserved to be condemned and were personally impure? How could a man judge another man if he had planks in his own eyes and infernal weights in his heart? How could he say: “I ab­ solve you in the name of God” if, because of his own sins, he did not have God with him? 7My friends, consider your dignity of priests. Before, I was among men to judge and to forgive. Now I am going to the Father. I am going back to My Kingdom. The fac­ ulty to judge is not taken off Me. On the contrary, it is entirely in My hands, because the Father has entrusted it to Me. But it is a terrible judgement because it will take place when it is no longer possible for man to obtain forgiveness through years of expiation on the Earth. Each human being will come to Me with his spirit when, through material death, he leaves his body as useless mortal remains. And I will judge him for the first time. 306

Then Mankind will come again clothed with its flesh, resumed by divine order, to be separated into two parts. The lambs with the Shepherd, the wild billy-goats with their Torturer. But how many men would there be, who would be with their Shepherd, if after the Baptismal bath they did not have who can forgive them in My name? That is why I create priests. To save those who had been saved by My Blood. My Blood saves. But men continue to fall into death. To fall again into Death. It is necessary for them to be continuously washed in It, seventy and seventy times seven, by those who have the authority to do so, so that they may not be a prey to Death. You and your successors will do that. That is why I absolve you of all your sins. Because you need to see, and sin blinds one, because it deprives the spirit of the Light which is God. Because you need to understand, and sin makes one dull, because it deprives the spirit of the Intelligence which is God. Because it is your ministry to purify, and sin sullies, because it deprives the spirit of the Purity which is God. Great is your ministry of judging and absolving in My name! When you consecrate the Bread and Wine for you and make them My Body and My Blood, you will do a great, supernatu­ rally great and sublime thing. In order to accomplish it worthily you must be pure, because you will touch Him Who is the Pure One and you will nourish yourselves with the Flesh of a God. You must be pure in your hearts, minds, limbs and tongues, be­ cause with your hearts you must love the Eucharist, and no pro­ fane love is to be mixed with this celestial love, as that would be a sacrilege. Pure in your minds, because you must believe and understand this mystery of love, and the impurity of thought kills Faith and Intellect. The science of the world remains, but the Wisdom of God dies in you. You must be pure in your limbs, because the Word will descend into your bosoms, as it descended into Mary's womb by deed of the Love. 8You have the living example of how a bosom, which receives the Word Incarnate, must be. The example is the Woman Who, without original sin and without personal sin, bore Me. Look how pure is the summit of the Hermon still wrapped in the veil of winter snow. From the Mount of Olives it looks like a lot of lilies stripped of their petals or like sea-foam, that rises like an offer-629. 8 307

ing against the other whiteness of the clouds, blown by the April wind along the blue fields of the sky. Look at a lily that now opens the mouth of its corolla to a scented smile. And yet both purities are not so bright as that of the womb that carried Me. Dust blown by the winds has fallen on the snow of the mountain and on the silk of the flower. Human eyes cannot perceive it, so light is it. But it is there, and it spoils the whiteness. Even more, look at the purest pearl taken from the sea, from the shell where it was born, to adorn the sceptre of a king. It is perfect in its compact irides­ cence, that is unaware of the desecrating touch of all flesh, as it was formed in the pearly hollow of the oyster, isolated in the sap­ phire fluid of sea depths. And yet it is not so pure as the womb that bore Me. In its centre there is a grain of sand: a very minute corpuscle, but still an earthly one. In Her Who is the Pearl of the Sea, there is no grain of sin, not even of incentive to sin. The Pearl born in the Ocean of the Trinity to bring the Second Person to the Earth, She is compact around Her fulcrum, which is not the seed of earthly concupiscence, but the spark of the eternal Love. The spark that found correspondence in Her and thus engendered the Divine Meteor, that now calls and draws to Itself the children of God: I, the Christ, the Morning Star. I give you that inviolate Purity as example. 9But when, as vintagers do with vats, you dip your hands in­ to the sea of My Blood and from it you draw what is needed to cleanse the soiled stoles of the poor wretches who committed sin, be perfect, in addition to being pure, in order not to stain your­ selves with a greater sin, even more, with several sins, by shed­ ding or touching the Blood of a God in a sacrilegious manner, or by failing in love and justice, denying or giving it with a severity that is not of the Christ, Who was good to the wicked to attract them to His Heart, and three times good with the weak, to en­ courage them to be trustful. Such severity would be used three times undeservedly, because it would be used against My Will, My Doctrine and Justice. How can one be severe with lambs when one is an idol shepherd? O My beloved friends, whom I am sending along the roads of the world to continue the work that I began and that will be pur­ sued until the end of Time, remember these words of Mine. I am telling you them so that you may repeat them to those whom you 308629. 9

will consecrate to the ministry, to which I have consecrated you. 10I see... I look at future ages... Time and the infinite crowds 629. 10 of men that will exist are all in front of Me... I see... massacres and wars, false peace treaties and horrible slaughters, hatred and robbery, sensuality and pride. Now and again a green oa­ sis: a period of return to the Cross. Like an obelisk that indicates pure water among the arid sands of the desert, My Cross will be raised with love, after the poison of evil has made men rabid, and around it, planted on the edges of healthy waters, there will thrive the palms of a period of peace and wealth in the world. Spirits, like deer and gazelles, like swallows and doves will rush to that pleasant, cool, nourishing shelter, to be cured of their sor­ rows and hope once again. And it will gather its branches close together like a dome as a protection from storms and dog-days and will keep away serpents and wild animals with the Sign that puts Evil to flight. And it will be so, as long as men so wish. I see... Men and men... women, old people, children, warri­ ors, scholars, doctors, peasants... They all come and pass by with their loads of hopes and sorrows. And I see many stagger, be­ cause their sorrow is too great, and their hope has slipped off the load first of all, as the load is too heavy, and their hope has crumbled on the ground... And I see many fall on the roadsides, because they are pushed by others who are stronger, stronger or luckier, as their weights are lighter. And I see many who, feeling- that they are abandoned by those who pass by, and they are even trampled on, and feeling that they are about to die, go to the ex­ tent of hating and cursing. Poor children! Among all these, struck by life, who pass by or fall, My Love has deliberately spread some compassionate Sa­ maritans, good doctors, lights in the night, voices in the silence, so that the weak who fall may find assistance, and once again they may see Light and hear the Voice that says: “Hope. You are not alone. Over you there is God. Jesus is with you”. I have delib­ erately placed this active charity, so that My poor children may not die in their spirits, losing their paternal abode, and they may continue to believe in Me-Love, seeing My reflection in My min­ isters. 11But, o grief that makes the Wound of My Heart bleed as it 629. 11 did when it was opened on Golgotha! But what do My divine eyes 309

629. 12 629. 13see? Are there perhaps no priests among the infinite crowds pass­ ing by? Is that why My Heart is bleeding? Are seminaries emp­ ty? So does My divine invitation no longer resound in hearts? Is man's heart no longer capable of hearing it? No. Throughout ages there will be seminaries and Levites in them. Priests will come out of them, because in the hour of adolescence My invitation will have sounded with a celestial voice in many hearts, and they will have followed it. But other, other, other voices will have come lat­ er with their youth and maturity, and My Voice will have been overwhelmed in those hearts. My Voice that speaks throughout ages to its ministers, that they may always be what you are now: the apostles at Christ's school. The cassock has remained. But the priest is dead. This will happen to too many in the course of ages. Useless dark shadows, they will not be a lever that lifts, a rope that pulls, a fountain that quenches people's thirst, corn that sat­ isfies their hunger, a heart that is a pillow, a light in darkness, a voice that repeats what the Master says to him. But for poor mankind they will be a weight of scandal, a weight of death, a parasite, a putrefaction... Horror! Once again and always I shall have the greatest Judases of the future in My priests! 12My friends, I am in My glory, and yet I weep. I take pity on these infinite crowds, herds without shepherds or with too few shepherds. Infinite pity! Well, I swear it on My Divinity, I will give them the bread, the water, the light, the voice that those chosen for this work do not want to give. I will repeat the miracle of the loaves and fish in future ages. With a few mean little fish, and with scanty crusts of bread-humble laic souls-I will give food to many people, and they will be satisfied, and there will be some for those of the future, because “I feel sorry for this people” and I do not want it to perish. Blessed are those who will deserve to be such. Not blessed be­ cause they are such. But because they will have deserved it with their love and sacrifice. And most blessed those priests who will remain apostles: bread, water, light, voice, rest and medicine for My poor children. They will shine in Heaven with a special light. I swear it to you, I Who am the Truth. 13Let us get up, My friends, and come with Me, that I may teach you again to pray. It is prayer that nourishes the strength of the apostle, because it blends him with God. » 310

And here Jesus stands up and goes towards the little stair­ case. But when He is at its bottom, He turns round and looks at me*. Oh! Father! He looks at me! He thinks of me! He looks for His little «voice», and the joy of being with His friends does not make Him forget me! He looks at me over the heads of the dis­ ciples, and smiles at me. He raises His hand blessing me and He says: «Peace be with you». And the vision ends. 630. The apostles are sent to Gethsemane. Meditation on the prayer “Our Father”. 11th April 1947. 1The apostles put on their mantles and ask: «Where are we go­ ing, Lord? » Their language is no longer so familiar as it was before Pass- over. If I were allowed to say so, I should say that they speak with their souls on their knees. Rather than the posture of their bodies, which are always respectfully somewhat bent before the Risen Lord, rather than their reservedness in touching Him and their trembling joy when He touches, caresses or kisses them, or speaks to some in particular, it is their whole attitude, some­ thing that cannot be described but is so obvious, and that says that, more than their humanity, it is their spirits that cannot be­ come again as they were in their relationship with the Master, and pervade all their human acts with their new feelings. Previously He was «the Master». The Master Whom their faith believed to be God. But for their senses He was always a man. Now He is «the Lord»: He is God. It is no longer necessary to make an act of faith to believe it. Evidence has abolished such need. He is God. He is the Lord to Whom the Lord has said**: «Sit at My right hand» and has proclaimed it by means of His word and of the miracle of His Resurrection. He is God like the Father. And He is the God Whom they abandoned out of fear, after re­ ceiving so much from Him... * me refers to Maria Valtorta. ** has said, as Psalm 110, 1. 311630. 1

630. : 630. 3They always look at Him with their eyes full of the reverential veneration, with which a true believer looks at the Host glowing in the monstrance, or looks at the Body of Christ raised by the priest in the daily Sacrifice. In their eyes that want to see the be­ loved face, which is even more handsome than in the past, there is also the expression of one who dare not see, of one who dare not linger to look... Love urges them to set their hearts on their Beloved, fear makes them close their eyes and lower their heads, as if they were dazzled by lightning. 2In fact, although Jesus, the Risen Jesus, is really He, it is not He at the same time. If one looks at Him carefully, He is differ­ ent. The features of His face, the colour of His eyes and of His hair, His size, hands and feet are identical, and yet He is dif­ ferent. His voice and actions are the same, and yet He is differ­ ent. His body is a real one, so much so that it now intercepts the light of the setting sun, as its last rays enter the room through the open window. It casts behind Him the shadow of His tall per­ son. And yet He is different. He has not become proud or offish, and yet He is different. A new perennial majesty has spread where there reigned so much the indefatigable Master's humble modest aspect, at times so modest as to appear disheartened. Now that the ema­ ciation of the last days has disappeared, that the mark of the physical and moral tiredness, which made Him look older, has vanished, that His eyes are no longer sorrowful and implor­ ing, as when He seemed to ask without speaking: «Why do you reject Me? Take Me... », the Risen Christ seems even taller and stronger, free from all encumbrances, sure, victorious, ma­ jestic, divine. Not even when He was mighty in His powerful miracles, or imposing in the most important moments of His teaching, was He as He is now that He has risen and is glori­ fied. No light emanates from Him. No. No light emanates as in His transfiguration and in His first apparitions after His resurrection. And yet He seems bright. It is really the Body of God, with the beauty of glorified bodies. He attracts and frightens at the same time. 3Perhaps it is those wounds, so clearly visible on His hands and feet, that command such deep respect. I do not know. I know that the apostles, although Jesus is so kind to them and tries to 312

recreate the atmosphere of days gone by, are different. Whilst previously they were so insistent and talkative, now they speak very little, and if He does not reply, they do not insist. If He smiles at them or at one of them, they change colour and do not dare reply, with a smile, to His smile. If, as He is doing now, He stretches out His hand to take His white mantle-He is always dressed in a white garment which shines more than the whitest satin, since He is the Risen Lord-none of them go, as they used to do previously, contending for the joy and the honour of help­ ing Him. They seem to be afraid to touch His garments and His body. And He has to say, as He does now: «Come, John. Help your Master. These wounds are real wounds, and wounded hands are not as agile as they were previously... » John obeys, helping Jesus to put on His wide mantle, and he seems to be dressing a Pontiff, so careful and diligent are his movements, avoiding to touch His Hands on which are the red stigmata. But, however careful he is, he knocks against Jesus' left hand and he shouts as if he had been hurt, and he looks fix­ edly at the back of that hand, fearing to see it bleed again. That cruel wound is so sensitive! Jesus lays His right hand on his head saying: «You had more courage when you received Me as I was taken off the Cross. And then it was still dripping blood, so much so that your hair was red with it. New dew of the night on the new loving disciple. You had picked Me like a bunch from the stump... Why are you weeping? I gave you My dew of a Martyr. On My Head you shed your dew of compassion. But then you could cry... Not now. 4And you, Simon Peter, why are you weeping? You have not knocked against My Hand. You did not see Me dead... » «Ah! my God! That is why I am weeping! Because of my sin. » «1 have forgiven you, Simon of Jonah. » «But I cannot forgive myself. No. Nothing will put an end to my tears. Not even Your forgiveness. » «But My glory will. » «You glorious, I sinner. » «You glorious, after being My fisherman. Peter, you will have a great, good, miraculous haul. Then I will say to you: “Come to the eternal banquet”. And you will not weep any more. But you all have tears in your eyes. And you, James, My brother, are lying630. 4 313

630. 5in that corner as if you had lost all blessings. Why? » «Because I was hoping that... So, do You feel Your Wounds? Do You still feel them? I was hoping that all sorrow had come to an end for You, that every sign had been cancelled. Also for us. For us sinners. Those Wounds!... How grievous it is to see them! » «Yes. Why have You not effaced them? No sign was left with Lazarus... They are a... a reproach those Wounds! They shout in a dreadful voice! They are more dazzling and frightening than the lightning on Sinai» says Bartholomew. «They shout our cowardice. Because we ran away while You were receiving them... » says Philip. «And the more we look at them, the more our consciences re­ proach us and throw cowardice, foolishness and incredulity in our faces» says Thomas. «For the sake of our peace and that of this people of sinners, as You have died and risen to forgive the world, o Lord, cancel those charges against the world! » begs Andrew. 5«They are the Health of the world. It is in them that there is Health. The world that hates, opened them, but the Love has turned them into Medicine and Light. Through them Fault was nailed. Through them all the sins of men were suspended and supported, so that the Fire of Love might consume them on the true Altar. When the Most High ordered Moses to make the ark and the altar of incense, did He not want them pierced with rings*, so that they could be lifted and carried wherever the Lord wanted? I have been pierced, too. I am more than ark and altar. I am by far more than ark and altar. I have burnt the incense of My love for God and for My neighbour, and I carried the weight of all the iniquities of the world. And the world must remember that, to remember how much it cost a God. To remember how a God loved it. To remember what is brought about by sin. To remember that in One only there is salvation: in He Whom they pierced. If the world did not see the redness of My Wounds, it would really soon forget that a God sacrificed Himself for its sins, it would forget that I really died in the most cruel torture, it would forget which is the balm for its wounds. Here is the balm. Come and kiss it. Each kiss is an increase of purification and grace for you. I sol-* pierced with rings as prescribed in: Exodus 25: 12-15; 30: 4; 37: 3-5. 27. 314

emnly tell you that purification and grace are never sufficient, because the world consumes what is infused by Heaven and it is necessary to counterbalance the ruins of the world by means of Heaven and its treasures. I am Heaven. All Heaven is in Me, and the celestial treasures flow from the open wounds. » He stretches out His Hands to be kissed by His Apostles. And He has to press His wounded Hands against the eager timid lips, because the fear of increasing His pain prevents those lips from pressing against those Wounds. «This is not what causes pain, even if it gives stiffness. The pain is a different one!... » «Which, Lord? » asks James of Alphaeus. «That I died for too many in vain... 6But let us go. Or rather, go ahead. We are going to Gethsemane... What? Are you afraid? » «Not for ourselves, Lord... The fact is that the great ones in Jerusalem hate You more than previously. » «Be not afraid. Neither for yourselves, as God protects you, nor for Me. With regard to Me the constraints of Mankind are over. I am going to My Mother, and then I will join you. We have to cancel many horrible things of the recent past of sin and ha­ tred. And we will do it through love, through the opposite of sin... See? Your kisses cancel and soothe the pain and conse­ quences of the nails in the live flesh. So, what we do will cancel the horrible signs and will sanctify the places desecrated by sin. So that their sight may not grieve you too much... » «Are we going also to the Temple? » Everybody's face shows dreadful fear. «No. I would sanctify it through My presence. And that is not possible. It could have been possible. But it did not want it. There is no more redemption for it. It is a corpse that is decomposing quickly. Let us leave it to its dead people, so that they may bury it. Lions and vultures will really tear the sepulchre and the corpse to pieces and not even the skeleton will be left of the Great Dead One that did not want the Life. » Jesus climbs the little staircase and goes out. The others fol­ low Him silently. But when they set foot in the corridor that serves as an entrance-hall, Jesus is no longer there. The house is silent and seems deserted. All the doors are closed. 7John points at the door in front of the Supper room and says:630. 6 630. 7 315