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Instead of writing this book--and book-writing is surely a job for sissies--he should have gone out and beat someone up or sold drugs.

He ought to have went outside and roughed some person up or peddled drugs.

He ought to have been in school studying hard.

The titles alone--Mars Probe Finds Kittens and Schredinger's Cat (which covers Sacajawea's Rain Bonnet and Wittgenstein's Banana)--display Martin's knack for goofy parody.

Martin has a knack for parody writing.

The titles of Martin's work are direly serious.

In 1929, disillusioned by the revolution, Mayakovsky wrote a protest play about the growing repressiveness of the regime.

Mayakovsky wrote a play about the regime's repressive acts.

Mayakovsky was not a write of plays.

In the most tragic examples, a charismatic professor will entice them into a lifetime of French medieval history, about which their curiosity is exhausted before they get their Ph.D.s.

It is a tragedy that a strong professor can entice students to study French medieval history.

Even a charismatic professor can't entice them into a lifetime of French medieval history.

Additionally, Professor Aleinikoff has published several books and countless articles relating to immigration, international migration, and constitutional law.

Aleinikoff published books about the legal system.

Aleinikoff has only written magazine articles.

(One good current French critic is Laurence Benaam, whose thoughful pieces appear regularly in Le Monde .)

Laurence Benaam writes regularly in Le Monde.

Laurence Benaam is not a very good French critic.

I commend Judith Shulevitz on an excellent column, Don't Take It So Personally.

I think Judith Shulevitz' column, Don't Take It So Personally, is wonderful.

Judith Shulevitz has always wanted to be a writer, but has not been able to make it happen.

Diderot's Encyclopedie championed reason over traditional religion, Rousseau discoursed on the origins of inequality, Voltaire shot at everything that didn't move.

The introduction of new beliefs helped reform old-fashioned religion.

The Encyclopedie was usually given no attention.

Similarly, her title teases her readers, inviting us to draw parallels between her personal history and the story she tells in the novel, though she declines to supply the necessary details about her life.

She is a writer.

She invites readers to see differences between her history and what she writes.

No profile makes the obvious application of Frank Sulloway's controversial birth-order theory.

Frank Sulloway's controversial birth-order theory has an obvious application.

There are many profiles that make the obvious application of Frank Sulloway's controversial birth-order theory.

The great historical novels are always about contemporary consciousness.

Contemporary consciousness is the subject of great historical novels.

Great historical novels do not focus on contemporary consciousness.

They contain diaries, poems, puzzles, and interviews.

They have personal journals, poems, puzzles and interviews.

They include love letters, newspaper articles and honorary degrees.

Books here in Stein's?

Here in Stein's has books?

Lobsters here in Steins?

The Weekly Standard 's John Podhoretz compares Horowitz's conversion to conservatism to Whittaker Chambers' magisterial tale of apostasy, Witness . Leftists dismiss the book as score-settling and name-calling.

Witness is a book written by Whittaker Chambers.

Mr. Podhoretz could not find anything to compare Horowitz's conversion to.

British journalist Iain Pears' best-selling murder mystery, set in 17 th century England, is compared to Umberto Eco's The Name of the Rose . Pears uses the thriller as an occasion to wax philosophical, meditating on scientific method and political liberalism.

Iain Pears' murder mystery features philosophical, scientific and political liberalism elements.

Umberto Eco is the author of the best-selling murder mystery.

Reading this did make me wish, in hindsight, that ER's biographer were a little less admiringly sober.

ER's biographer was very frank.

ER's biographer did not research him well at all.

His later chapters ask whether, in a new world where blacks are present (if still in small numbers) in our society's most powerful intellectual institutions, black thinkers might be free to spend less time thinking about what it means to be black.

He wrote about race relations.

He wrote about religion.

While this may have been true for a good many (Beatles, Dylan), the requirements of publishing every two weeks meant others, like the Moodies, Vanilla Fudge, Jefferson Airplane (Son of Jesus, anyone?)

This was true for Bob Dylan and the Beatles.

Both Bob Dylan and the Beatles refused to work under these terms.

Some examples, taken from the delightful Samuel Johnson Sound Bite Page maintained by Frank Lynch.

Frank Lynch maintains the Samuel Johnson Sound Bite Page.

Samuel Johnson Sound Bite Page is maintained solely by Ray Stallone.

However, the Weekly Standard attacks the author, calling him an apologist for dictator Enver Hoxha.

The Weekly Standard calls the author an apologist for dictator Enver Hoxha.

The author has earned praise from the Weekly Standard for his sharp criticism of dictator Enver Hoxha.

He adopted an upbeat American organicism derived from Henry David Thoreau and Walt Whitman.

He adopted organicism like Thoreau and Whitman.

He did not show any regard to Whitman or Thoreau.

And so when I picked up a copy of Bionomics , the first thing I did was check out the author's treatment of my heroes and of what I knew to have been the important . His record was Not one of the right people was mentioned, not one of the key developments discussed.

The subject I was most interested in when reading the Bionomics was how the author treated my heroes.

When I flipped through the Bionomics, the first thing I was interested in was learning about people I'm not familiar with.

Of all the good stuff in this issue of SLATE, I'm probably most excited at having the wonderful novelist Muriel Spark writing our diary column.

Muriel Spark is a novelist who's writing a column.

Muriel Sparks, the novelist, won't be writing the diary column.

James and Hemingway give way to the shabby backdrops of John Le Carre's novels.

John Le Carre's novels have a shabby backdrop for the characters.

John Le Carre's is becoming well known for his colorful, fancy and impressive backgrounds described in his novels.

he's uh i read those uh actually i think my favorite author really right now is uh William Johnstone

His favorite author is William Johnstone.

His least favorite Author is William Johnstone.

The same psychographers who identify a lucrative market of rugged individualists in one study will turn around and identify an equally lucrative market of neo-traditionalists in the next.

Psychographers commonly conduct many studies with have differing results.

Although many professions conduct studies, it is a little known fact that psychographers do not.

he's he's sort of it's he he's writes real good but usually it's the kind though that you don't want to start if you have to put it down very soon

His writing is very good, but it is hard to start with.

Though it is easy to read, his writing is not good.

James Fenton in the New York Review of Books says, 'Plath lovers' will never forgive Hughes for having been Plath's lover--a role which in their fantasies they would much better fill.

James Fenton writes about Plath in the New York Review of Books.

James Fenton writes books, but not reviews of books.

Stein's story of their origin out of a trunk hidden in a desert cave was most intriguing.

Most intriguing was Stein's story of their origin out of the trunk hidden in a desert cave.

Stein's story of their origin was never heard by anyone.

Free Fiction

The fiction is free.

There is no free fiction.

I started as a fan of great popularizers like Richard Dawkins and Steven Pinker, and I have since graduated not only to hero worship of the leading evolutionary theorists but also to reading textbooks and even journal articles.

I liked Dawkins a lot in the beginning.

I disliked Dawkins a lot in the beginning.

Eszterhas writes movies about naked women and believes himself an artist.

Eszterhaus writes about women.

Eszterhaus writes about strong men.

The biography of the legendary Belgian-French king of pulp fiction (1903-1989), who wrote more than 400 novels and bedded even more women (he estimated 10,000), is deemed masterful, absorbing, and definitive (Deirdre Bair, the New York Times Book Review ). Simenon wins praise for its defense of Simenon's oeuvre , often dismissed as hackery, and for its candid treatment of his misogyny and anti-Semitism.

The Belgian-French king of pulp fiction was known as a womanizer.

The Belgian-French king of pulp fiction was known to be a virgin until the day of his death.

There is too much flexing of stylistic muscle, says the New Republic 's Robert Alter.

Robert Alter works for the New Republic.

Robert Alter thinks that there is not nearly enough stylistic experimentation.

Evans, once a writer and the kind of editor who'd stand up to Rupert Murdoch and get fired for his trouble, is now a man for whom announcing to the world that you were fired is unthinkable.

Evans' mentality has changed over time.

Evans still maintains integrity over a paycheck.

By contrast, Mundell's writings since the early '70s have been discursive, one might almost say rambling, and often reveal a sort of hankering for the lost certainties of the gold standard.

Mundell's writings since the early '70s have been discursive.

Mundell has only been writing since the '90s.

have you ever read any of Frank E Peretti's

Have you ever read anything written by Frank E Peretti?

Frank E Peretti is not an author.

Essays on pop culture, literature, tennis, and Middle America from the author of the epic and epically hyped Infinite Jest (1996).

The author of Infinite Jest also wrote essays, some of which were about Middle America.

Infinite Jest was written in 2000.

Why are you subjecting your loyal and (usually) enthusiastic readership to the reactionary, bigoted, and sexist drivel of Midge Decter and Norman Podhoretz in ? We don't subscribe to Slate in order to expose ourselves to the ramblings of Anita Bryant's spiritual parents.

We think that you have a loyal readership.

We love reading what Anita's parents have to say.

It's no wonder that crazy people love Exley did more with less than any writer I can think of.

Exley is a writer

Exley is not a writer

The book's cynicism is even more distressing, symptomatic as it is of a larger cynicism that seems to have gripped our public culture.

A lot of people in our modern culture are cynical.

The public culture shows no hint of cynicism.

My fellow Slate columnist Robert Wright would undoubtedly emphasize that our concern over status exists for good evolutionary reasons.

Robert Wright writes for Slate.

Robert Wright writes for Newsweek.

A charmless, surprisingly chintzy affair (Greg Evans, Variety ), the play features a script eviscerated of interesting characters.

The play doesn't have any interesting characters in it.

The play was charming and presented a cast of endlessly fascinating characters.

I'll leave that to Robert Wright, Slate 's resident Darwinian, to sort out.)

Wright is Slate's resident Darwinian.

Slate does not have a Darwinian on staff.

Robert Fagles, a Princeton classicist, translated The Iliad in 1990 and sold an astonishing 140,000 paperback copies of his version.

Robert Fagles is fluent in at least two languages.

Robert Fagles is the author of The Iliad.

The 21-year-old British author's youth and good looks are cited as major factors in the blockbuster advance ($800,000) and ballyhooed publication of this ponderous gothic novel.

People diminish the value of the author's writing, because they are interested in the author's young age and appearance.

The British author is 70 years old and very ugly.

Back in 1994, when journalist Robert Wright popularized the field of evolutionary psychology with his book The Moral Animal , he wrote an article on ev psych and feminism in which he acknowledged that evolutionary psychology would be used to naturalize sexist behavior.

The normalization of misogynistic tendencies was predicted in 1994.

The author declared it was safe to burn witches.

Dissenting is the Los Angeles Times ' Richard Eder, who says Roy inflates story into epic, the modest magic of perception into an occasional clumsy piece of magic realism.

Richard Eder works for the LA Times.

Richard Eder works for the NY Times.

But Foster's expertise is historical, and he warns us that he will write as a historian.

Foster is a historian.

Foster has no expertise.

In his introduction, Robert Giroux, Malamud's editor, quotes Cynthia Ozick, who said of Is he an American master?

Robert Giroux quoted Cynthia Ozick.

Malamud does not employ an editor.

He is not an economics writer

He isn't an economics writer.

He's an economics writer.

A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Essays and Arguments , by David Foster Wallace (Little, Brown and Co.).

"A supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do : Essays and Arguements." is a novel by David Foster Wallace.

David Foster Wallace wrote a book entitled "A fun thing I'll do".

Whittaker A Biography , by Sam Tanenhaus (Random House).

Sam Tanenhaus wrote a biography about another person.

The book "Whittaker" is in no way, shape, or form, a biography

I think Wolfe is right about the potential of this kind of novel, one that takes us through unexplored precincts of our own society while spinning a good yarn.

Wolfe's ideas about the potential within the novel make sense as seen by the exploration of important issues.

Wolfe's perspective on the novel is incorrect and useless.

no i'd actually i plead my ignorance knowledge lack of knowledge i'm not familiar with him what is he is he an American novelist

I'm sorry but I have no idea who he is.

I have all his books, and some signed by him too.

Several examples of his early works reminded me that he was not completely worthless after all.

Several samples of his early works reminded me that he was once onto something.

Several examples of his early works convinced me that he has never done anything worthwhile.

It is astonishing to see a public figure at a political event refer to any work of literature written before 1985 or, in the case of George W., written.

It surprises me to see anyone at an event talk about any books that are actually old.

At every function some politico starts up about the great classics of literature.

By contrast, Finkelstein adopts an ugly conspiratorial tone when he attributes the book's popularity in the United States to its Zionist message.

By attributing the book's popularity to its political message, Finkelstein reduces himself to sounding like a conspiracy theorist.

Finkelstein doesn't consider the possible Zionist message in the book.

The Fact of Fiction in Organizational Ethnography.

Organizations can have an ethnographic organization.

Organizations cannot be studied from an ethnographic standpoint.

The author will be Jonathan Chait, who is conversing with Jodie T. Allen this week at . Suggestions are welcome at debunker@slate.com.

Jonathan Chait will be the author speaking with Jodie T Allen. Send suggestions to debunker@slate.com

Jonathan Chait and Jodie T. Allen are taking suggestions at debunker@slate.com

Still, it is the rare author who can re-create, with so much passion and exactness, aspects of our history that most Americans would just as soon forget.

It takes a special writer to capture American history.

ANyone can write brilliant prose about history.

Other writers have influences

Writers can influence the world.

Writers have no impact on the world.

Others find the book cynical, simplistic and patronizing (Richard Rhodes, the New York Times Book Review ). They say Kinsey's private life bears no relation to his scholarship, and they question the biography's anonymous sources.

Some found the book both cynical and simplistic.

They say Kinsey's private life bears much resemblance.

Maybe he should get some publisher to sign him up to write the life of Norman Mailer.

If he wants to write the life of Norman Mailer, he should get some publisher to sign him up.

If he wants to write the life of Norman Mailer, he should write a song about it.

As for me, I wrote my book about Reagan because I'd like to see him get at least some of the recognition he deserves during his lifetime.

I wrote about Reagan because I want people to know about him.

I wrote about Thomas Jefferson.

Dissenters congratulate Quindlen for having moved beyond veiled autobiography.

Quindlen's autobiography has received some accolades.

Quindlen has been universally criticized.

Today these seem as quaint as hand-bound books or handwritten letters.

Today is quaint like a hand-bound book or handwritten letter.

Today is awful and annoying.

How dare Isikoff write a book, says Toobin in his book!

Toobin was unhappy that Isikoff wrote a book.

Toobin cannot speak English.

Powell may be the patron saint of all writers laboring in obscurity.

Powell may be the mascot for all the undiscovered authors out there.

POwell is a famous artist.

Did Orwell's list demonstrate he was anti-Semitic and anti-homosexual?

Was it evident by Orwell's list he was against homosexuals?

Orwell was a homosexual supporter and sympathizer as shown by his list.

Irishman Samuel Beckett happily wrote plays in French.

Samuel Beckkett wrote plays in French.

Samuel Becket wrote all plays in English.

The review was of Higher The Academic Left and Its Quarrels With Science , written by biologist Paul Gross and mathematician Norman Levitt.

The review was certainly written by biologist Paul Gross and mathematician Norman Levitt.

It was not reviewed by biologist Paul Gross and mathematician Norman Levitt.

For two 1) When the writer stoops to cover his own family, you can bet he's stuck for ideas; 2) Unless one's family is terribly unusual, such efforts violate a great unspoken but true Other Peoples' Kids Are Boring.

You know a writer is running out of ideas when he decides to write about his own family; unless his family is really unique, it violates an unspoken rule about how other people's kid are boring.

Most of the time, writing about one's family is a good idea even if nothing special is going on with them.

Any biographer, of course, carries on a love affair with a ghost.

Biographers have a romanticism with the departed.

Biographers prefer the living to the dead.

When a trompe l'oeil shaving brush and a match turn up later in the show in Magritte's Personal Values (1952), they have an oneiric suggestiveness quite in contrast to Murphy's flat factuality.

Magritte wrote Personal Values, which came out in 1952.

1950 is when Personal Values, by Magritte, was published.

In 1986, he sued to block publication of Ian Hamilton's biography, In Search of J.D.

He objected to the publication of Ian Hamilton's biography.

Ian Hamilton's biography was published without challenge.

Morris uses the Dutch historian Robert Jan van Pelt as a He calls Leuchter a fffool who didn't have a clue what to look for in a place that had changed enormously in 50 years.

Robert Jan van Pelt is a Dutch historian.

Robert Jan van Pelt is a British historian.

Good reviews for Oates' 29 th novel, which follows the way a small town remembers its teen-age hero, John Reddy Heart.

Oates has written at least 29 novels.

Oates is just beginning as a writer and has only published a few short stories.

Books about my life-

Biographies about my life-

He wrote an autobiography about his life.

Coetzee's Waiting for the Barbarians (Patrick McGrath, New York Times Book Review ). High praise also for Kadare, a perennial nominee for the Nobel Prize.

Kadare is often in the running to receive the Nobel Prize.

Kadare has never done anything noteworthy.

Let us, though, just for the heck of it, consider the possibility that perhaps the prospectus is accurate and all these quotations and citations from Talbot and others at Salon are in error.

There are a lot of quotes from Talbot.

Talbot was never quoted.

Gordon MacDonald--a reformed adulterer who wrote a book about his sins.

A man named Gordon MacDonald wrote a book about his sins.

Gordon MacDonald never wrote a book about his sins.

Indeed, Banks has written a useful survey of African-American scholars and writers and the ways in which they have worked throughout the history of the republic.

Banks has written a survey of African-American scholars and writers.

Banks often enjoys reading pieces about African-American history, but is not a writer himself.

Incoming Random House editor Ann Godoff argues against this She plans to publish more literature and fewer celebrity memoirs, because the big-market books ultimately earn lower returns.

Ann Godoff plans to increase literature publication and decrease the number of memoirs published.

Ann Godoff says big-market books have much higher returns.

A generation ago, Abbott's book was hailed as a landmark, a visionary expose.

Abbot's book was hailed to a landmark, a visionary expose, a generation ago.

A generation ago, nobody wrote books.

My problem is Although I am Peter Maass, the writer, I am not Peter Maas, the writer.

There are two people named Peter Maass.

No one else is named peter Maas.

RealAudio has not yet perfected sound recordings from beyond the grave, so poems by dead poets will be read by Pinsky himself rather than by the author.

Pinsky will read the poems of dead poets.

Pinsky will not read the poems.

Newsweek excerpts George Stephanopoulos' new book, which repeats the standard criticism of the president (a complicated man responding to the pressures and pleasures of public life in ways I found both awesome and appalling).

George Stephanopoulos believes that the president is a complicated person.

George Stephanopoulos has never written a book before.

Anyone who thinks that consilience is banal or obvious is invited to read my debates with the sociologist Alan Wolfe in Slate and with the biologist Steven Rose in Edge.

Alan Wolfe is a sociologist.

Alan Wolfe has never been a sociologist.

I hate to refer to my own work, but an article I wrote in the New York Times Magazine last year focused on this very John Gotti's fatal flaw--as a mobster and as a father--was that he had his son follow him into the business.

I often dislike referring to my own work.

I really enjoy referring to my own work.

The major characters receive ample biographical treatments, but so do dozens of other figures, famous and obscure, who had only fleeting links to Lukas' story.

Dozens of other figures, whether famous or obscure, recieved ample biographical treatments.

Major characters never received good biographical treatments.

But Garry Wills says in the New York Review of Books that [i]n his mad zeal to destroy Camelot ...

Gary Wills is a writer in the New York Review of Books.

Gary Wills has never written in his life.

A letter to his editor at Grove I cant possibly go on as a responsible prose artist and also as a believer in the impulses of my own heart and in the beauty of pure spontaneous language if I let editors take my sentences, which are my phrases that I separate by dashes when I 'draw a breath,' each of which pours out to the tune of the whole story its own rhythmic yawp of expostulation, and riddle them with commas, cut them in half, in threes, in fours, ruining the swing ...

I can't write organically knowing my work will be edited.

I am reassured to know that my work will be heavily edited.

Wherever the image of nonconformity appears, Frank spies the ascendant force of rebel consumerism.

Frank sees an opportunity for the consumerization of the counterculture.

.Frank thinks that nonconformity is antithetical to consumerism and the two never go together.

Still, Yardley's book has value as a study of just how small and brief and enigmatic certain writers' lives can be once you've subtracted their work from the equation.

Yardley led a very quiet and enigmatic life outside of his work as a writer.

Yardley led a charismatic and extremely outgoing lifestyle. Visiting parties and always conversing about his new work with people.

I don't know where Frisby got his material, but he wrote the story before the Thompson committee even existed.

Frisby wrote this story before the Thomson committee ever existed.

Frisby is a dog and writes articles for magazines.

in there i've never read any of his

I've never read any of his, in there.

I read all his works in there.

I enjoyed Cullen Murphy's brief chronicle of humankind's never-ending search for a way to communicate the fact that much of what we try to communicate isn't really worth communicating.

Cullen Murphy wrote a chronicle which I enjoyed.

Cullen Murphy's article was about physics.

A few carp that Finnegan's dry prose shows how far literary journalism has fallen from the pyrotechnics of its originators, such as Tom Wolfe.

Some people think that literary journalism was much better in the past.

Modern literary journalism has improved so much since Tom Wolfe.

(Dictionary of Banking and Finance, Jerry M. Rosenberg, Ph.D., Wiley & Sons, New York, 1982, hereafter cited as Rosenberg's Dictionary.)

Rosenberg wrote a dictionary about banking and finance.

Rosenberg wrote a workbook about banking and finance.