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10zuj26 | Due to medical issues my husband and I have a temporary appointed cleaning lady, paid for by the city council, to help us clean our house. She comes once every two weeks, for 2 hours. The agreement was that she would help with the big stuff (kitchen, toilet, bathroom) and do other stuff when she has time to spare. She is really kind, she has been at our house for about 5 times now. We were asked to make a list of things we want her to do. So we write down each week which things are most urgent to us. And until now she has ignored at least one or sometimes two of those things and did something else instead. To give an example, last week we asked her to give our kitchen a good scrub. We are usually at another place in our house, as to not bother her, so I don't micromanage what she cleans and how she does it. When she was finished, she told me she hadn't done the kitchen at all, and instead decided to clean our doors upstairs. Those doors are not on my priority list and certainly didn't look dirty. Instead, the area (kitchen) where we needed help the most, wasn't cleaned at all. I am very insecure, and really don't like to get confrontational, so I just said thank you. I really don't know how to handle this. How do I tell her I am not really happy with what she does, without hurting her feelings. Am I the asshole if I tell her to just stick to our list? When we got her assigned, the council lady said we should take it up with them if we had any problems, but it feels harsh to go over her head, without talking to her first. I just really don't want to be considered rude and be an asshole, or come off as entitled. Would I be? | WIBTA for telling my cleaning lady she doesn't do her work well? | NTA |
10zxwdy | Me (19M) and my bestfriend "Carlos" also 19M pretty much grew up together and now we room together in college. Carlos is gay and he and his family are really religious but tottally accepting and are part of an lgbtq affirming church/congregation. Carlos takes alot of the Bible to heart especially the " wait till marriage part " about sex that was drilled into him and his sisters/brothers. As kids he was always looking for "the one" or his " forever guy" ; and since we're from a kinda smallish town there wasnt a whole lot of pickings for him till junior year and he got into his first real and long term relationship this guy "Jeff" (20M) from another school that he met during a track meet.Jeff's a cool dude and we're pretty much friends and kinda close and he's going to a really nearby college so we frequently hang out sometimes even when Carlos is at class or preoccupied. He sometimes confides in me that of course he loves Carlos and wants to be his "forever guy" but while he respects Carlos choice and wouldn't try to push him hes not super into the whole waiting for marriage and kinda wants to move things forward in the bedroom. But he also says he's willing to wait (They plan on getting married after graduating). Carlos also confides in me that him and Jeff have talked about and while Jeff told him he'd wait he still feels kinda insecure about it and sometimes thinks maybe he should just do it.I've told Carlos that he should do what he wants and to do just cause hes insecure about it. Though since highschool I have teased him a little about it here and there and hed tease me about never staying with a gf for long .We've always kinda joked around with each other like that Yesterday while on a double camping date with my current gf "Sasha" (21F) . While Jeff went to get more drinks and Sasha went to go pee I could see Carlos was a lil upset and I started joking with him that maybe tonight's the night and he just give up on all the Bible stuff you know stop being such a pude. Just trying to cheer him up which usually works, but he just got more upset .I asked what was up and he just yelled at me that sometimes I joke to much and he was already feeling down today about how Jeff really wants to but hes holding out for him and thinks Jeff might reject him. I tried apologizing explaining that I didn't know and he goes off on me a bit about how I never really respected his beliefs and that my jokes were making him even more insecure about him and Jeff. Stuff kinda petered out after that. In the morning on the way back to campus Carlos was kinda quiet and Jeff told me he knew I was just kidding and to give Carlso time to cool off. Sasha talked to me to later and told me I'd been pretty insensitive and I should just leave his religious beliefs and the no sex thing alone even though I didn't know what was wrong in that instance. AITA ? | AITA for laughing at and making fun of my bestfriend's beliefs and calling him a prude? | YTA |
110876a | I just got my first pair of glasses and to be fair, I am not the biggest fan of the feel of the glasses. It's weird because my vision looks the same with or without them, but I have astigmatism so I do get headaches later in the day if I don't wear them. My parents are adamant that I wear them all the time, they say it's bad for my eyes if I don't wear them at all times, and I'll loose them if I keep taking them on and off. Anytime I am not wearing my glasses they remind me to put them on.I said I'll put them on if I start to get a headache but I feel find without them, and they said that was unacceptable and that the only way I would get use to them is by wearing them all the time. AITA for not wanting to wear my glasses all the time? | AITA for not wearing my glasses at all times during the day? | NAH |
10zttwp | Recently, I made a joke in my friends gc that read: “*Name* you need to work out. You’re looking kind of scrawny.” I made this joke in response to a jab to me, and it was supposed to be sarcasm because I’m the scrawniest person in my friend group. Another person in the gc got mad at me for saying this, and saying I suck and not elaborating. Another person later made the joke that it would be better if I just left the gc, so I did. I said sorry to the person I directed the joke out to privately (and he wasn’t mad), but I refused to do so to the person who initially got mad. Then her and her friend for the next couple days started either ignoring me or being very passive aggressive. Yesterday, I sent her a message asking for her perspective on what happened, which was ignored. AITA?Edit: Ok, I’m the asshole. She responded to the message about 30 minutes ago. No idea why it took so long to respond but I think we had a nice discussion over boundaries with jokes and such (and yes, I apologized). I think we’re (mostly) good now. Thanks for y’all giving me another perspective on this. | AITA for not saying sorry after a joke? | YTA |
10zufr0 | Our son’s 2 year birthday is this weekend, and a majority of our immediate family will be out of town, so we are planning his big family and friend birthday party next month. While we were visiting my in laws in January, we invited them to come for our son’s real birthday on this Sunday in the afternoon, as my parents, my sisters, and my nephews will be joining, as well for a small celebration of his real birthday. My in laws said they didn’t want to intrude on my family as they said it’s a bit chaotic and they want to watch the Super Bowl, so would pass. We said ok, but that was how most birthdays would be moving forward, and my wife and I agreed we wanted to spend the morning with our son celebrating his birthday.On Friday of this week, my wife got lunch with her dad who was in town. She texted me after saying “ My parents are going to come Sunday around 9 and leave by 12 when he naps 😊”. I was shocked and annoyed, especially since there was no conversation since our discussion in person where we extended the invite and they declined. I asked my wife this morning about it and asked when will we get our time solo with our son to celebrate? She got defensive and said “it’s fine, they need to spend time with him too. He sees your parents way more.” My in laws live 1.5 hours away, and we live in the town over from my parents after a recent move to be closer to family. I tried to debate with my wife that when they come, they will want all the time with him since they’re making the drive, which sidelines us to celebrate his birthday, as I said to her they’re not going to drive up here to watch us play, they will want to take their time with him. I’m also voiced that I’m frustrated that she didn’t ask and talk to me beforehand, instead just slipping it in through a text. She told me she won’t tell them no now since they’ll know it was me that told them no and I didn’t give them any other options to see our son for his birthday. I’m frustrated either way our 1:1 time with my son on his birthday is now only his breakfast time. AITA for wanting the time with my two year old on his birthday and not wanting my in laws to invite themselves outside of the invited party time? | AITA for not wanting my in laws to invite themselves over for my son’s birthday? | NTA |
10zviur | I (22M) made a friend (24F) a couple of months back. We started talking to each other and the beginning conversations were fun and I liked her as a person because she seemed understanding and kind. Eventually we started being vulnerable with each other and talked about our feelings etc. She confessed to me about the things she did over the years that she wasn't proud of. Like once, because she didn't like a girl in her class she started hitting on her boyfriend. And that every time he used to message her or go out with her it felt like a win to her. And after those two broke up, she stopped talking to him and blocked him.She also confessed about two timing many guys. Even her serious boyfriend of 2 years. She obviously regrets all these things. She cried when she was talking about these things. And at the time I didn't know what to do so i just said that it's good that she realised it atleast.But the truth is have a very low tolerance for people of this character, particularly the ones who are a bit too into their looks(which she is) and the ones that cheat (in any form even if it's just flirting imo that's just shitty, i also kind of judge people who like it as a kink, like in roleplay or in porn).So since then I haven't really been myself with her. Because she's not the same person to me anymore. I kind of can't believe someone who seems so nice could also do such things. And it does feel like she isn't that person anymore. And obviously she trusted me enough not to judge her when she was being vulnerable. But I do judge her. And I kind of am not comfortable thinking about her. Eventually i started making excuses that I was busy and now it's been a few weeks since we talked. I'm thinking of just stopping talking to her.She texts me at times, i read it from the notifications and ignore them because I don't know what to do. Today she called me, i didn't answer. And she sent a text about how she is in a really bad place right now and needs someone to talk to. And that she misses me and everything. I do feel bad for her. But I cannot seem to separate her past from her present. Am I the asshole? | AITA for ignoring my friend? | YTA |
1100ng1 | So, I'm an 18-year-old male (he/him) old full-time student at a local community college, and I've studied hard enough to earn myself a merit scholarship to a 4-year institution.In one of my classes, there's this older woman, I think in her 50s, who, unfortunately, isn't terribly bright. She has real difficulty keeping up with course requirements, and I do feel somewhat sorry for her. The other day, she came up to me after class and asked me if I could help her review the material after class. This request made me rather uncomfortable, and I felt that it would be rather awkward, so I declined her offer. She apologized and scurried away, but I feel like I'm in the wrong.I feel rather guilty because (1) I know part of my reasoning is prejudiced, I think she'll take a long amount of time to learn the material, (2) I don't want to help her, which might be selfish, and (3) I don't like the feeling of trying to tutor someone so much older and of the opposite sex.AITA? | AITA for refusing to help an older classmate? | NTA |
110790n | Recently I (27F) attended my sister (also 27F) and soon to be brother-in-law’s couples shower. We’re a few months out from their wedding, and the shower was hosted by my sister’s future mother in law, Jennifer, at the home of one of her good friends. I am the maid of honor so of course flew in to town for the occasion with my boyfriend. I hadn’t been included in the planning process for the shower, but I don’t mind that at all. Jennifer is very hands on with planning for the wedding as a whole. My side of the family is not as familiar with large weddings, especially all of the events and planning that goes into them these days - my parents wedding had about 10 guests. My sister is also very easy going, and so lets Jennifer handle a lot of things. My mother has been upset about this in the past because she would like to be more involved, but has settled into letting Jennifer take the reigns to avoid conflict. The couple’s shower was planned by Jennifer and her friend, and was very thoughtful and beautifully done. There were activities, drinks, dinner, then cake. Around 9, dessert was finishing up (at this point a few guests had left already) and my parents said they were going to head home. It is a pretty far drive for them (a little less than an hour) and the weather was not good - rainy and windy enough to knock out power lines throughout the neighborhood. My bf and I decided to head out as well. It was about 30/40 mins later when I saw a text from Jennifer saying something along the lines of: “I know you left already but I wanted to make sure that you knew we were about to play a game and open presents if you weren’t too far and wanted to come back. I just didn’t want you to not be aware.” Obviously I hadn’t seen the text as I had been driving, so I wasn’t able to go back to the party. Granted, I was fine to leave when my parents did, and wanted to get home before the weather got any worse. However, when we were saying goodbyes and thanking Jennifer and her friend for hosting such a great shower, no one mentioned anything about being about to play games/open presents. My sister didn’t mention it either but I texted her afterwards to apologize for leaving and she said she hadn’t known that was the plan either. Am I the asshole for leaving my sister’s shower too early? As maid of honor should I have checked in with someone, even though I was not included in the planning process for this party? I asked my parents as well and they said they weren’t told either. It feels like Jennifer was specifically trying to exclude us, but am I reading the situation in the wrong way? My sister said she of course doesn’t hold it against us since she didn’t even know the plan and was just happy we could make it. I still feel like I may have missed out on something that was important to her, or made her feel like we don’t care about the wedding as much as the other side of the family. AITA? | AITA for leaving my sister’s bridal shower early? | NTA |
10zxh1h | So To Start Off My Friend (f15) And i (f15) have been friends for about 3years now. We met because our parents been friends since childhood. She was my only friend when we first moved again. And alot happened that i kinda became a shut out and was home schooled. My friend "M" ill call her. Moved closer, 5mins instead of 2hrs away. She has this thing were she liked a different guy every other week at her new school. Not dating or hook up. Just like the normal crush. She had finally got over a dude she really liked and next thing ik shes dating someone, ill call him "K".Well lets just say its been about 3 months now. Everytime we hangout or she stays over, hes messaging/calling her 24/7. I was fine with it, it was upsetting a bit, but i get she really liked him. Hers the thing though im bisexual, and he knows this. Im no way in hell interested in "M", Nor would i ever try to get with someone who is taken. And he knows that but gets pissed and gets mad at her when he hears we change in front of eachother, and slap eachothers ass/tits its normal to us tho. And the slapping is normally something as revenge or shit. Nothing special, but today we are sleeping over at my house with our other friend. She hanged up on him earlier, we were playing a board game and he messaged me telling me its not my say to tell her not to call him. He said a bunch of messed up shit. In terms basically im controling his gf not to call him and im stealing his gf. That im Fucking lonely, even though he knows my situation and why im not in a relationship. And just to say, he is on call with her the whole time shes here even though the night.It honestly upsets me and even my friend is not that happy. Not even 5mins after it she wanted to sit on call with him like nothing is wrong and he did nothing, im really just hurt at the fact my friend ive know for 3years is somewhat siding with someone she met and is with for 3months.Am i being an asshole about being upset with my friend and her boyfriend? | AITA For Being Upset At My Friend And Her Bf? | NTA |
10zxffk | So 2 days ago my friend and his girlfriend asked if I wanted to go to a valentines day party with a ton of couples at it. Apparently it’s really hard for someone that’s single to get in for some reason but he had gotten me a spot. I declined but he persisted. I told him I wouldn't be comfortable being the one of the only single people there. He got really angry and said it took him a lot of effort to get a slot. I can see why he would be disappointed but not angry. He knows I’m self conscious about not being able to find a partner in life. | AITA for declining a friends request to go to a party on valentines day? | NTA |
10zzbhf | Me (14f) and my semi friend (14f, we'll call her Emma) have had a huge falling out today. I say semi friend because I feel like she has always hated me. Today, I confronted her through text. She admitted to hating me, purposely telling one of my closest friends things about me (she decimated that friendship and that friend hates me now) and honestly just being rude.To list some things she has done: she kicks me in the back of my legs, laughs when I fall down, called me an ugly bitch, wrote "(my name) is an anime and kpop lover" on my school paper (which is considered INSANELY weird in my school, pretty much social suicide to admit to liking those things) and much more. Some of things I have said is that she was built like a bug (she is not conventionally attractive), horse girl freak, etc...I want to say that anything rude I've done or said was in response to her actions. 2 of my friends are on my side, the rest (3-4) are on her side. I think she is toxic and she has really hurt my feelings. When I apologized for all of the things I've done (which honestly I think I deserve an apology) she said "nah" when I asked for forgiveness. She tells me none of my friends like me, I'm weird and gross, and all of these really mean things. I'm not unpopular by any means either. I do have quite an interesting and crazy personality, and she said I make people uncomfortable.TLDR:She doesn't seem to give a frick about me. She has ruined a close friendship of mine and probably will ruin more. She physically hurts me and she makes fun of me and publicly broadcasts some personal information that could hurt my reputation at school.So, WIBTA for being rude and calling her out for her actions after she said hurtful things? | AITA for calling my semi-friend a bitch? | ESH |
10zxnd5 | So I am at a Sci Fi convention and last night someone decided to perform Elvis Presely’s An American Trilogy in a room that had I’d say had around 25% People of Color. No one caused a scene or anything. They collectively after the older gentleman started got up and left the room. After another performer or two had done their thing folks started filtering back in.Today I was trying to mention to my best friend that I thought a bad choice was made (by the person that choose the song and the organizer), he promptly went on a tirade about how people need to just not get offended and just leave the situation. No mind you I mentioned that people had just done that and I was just remodeling that a poor choice was made.Am I the Asshole? | AITA for trying to point out a bad decision. | NTA |
10zv9ya | So for my job I am on call every 3rd weekend. Most of my site are an hour south of me. My lady and our son is about 40 mins south of there I live also. I am on call this weekend and my lady is work today. Our son who is 11 is home by himself and I tried to work out with my job to take my work truck there and spend day with him but couldn't get in touch with my boss yesterday. I just told my lady that I am running to the store and gym which is 10 mins from my house. She told me I was an asshole becuase I doing all this running but can't be there for our son. Tried explain i have a certain time frame to answer a call. If I leave from her house it is 45 mins home then change and an hour to the site. At least 2 hours to get there. Longer then our time frame. I was able to speak with my boss today and will be there for our son all day tomorrow. | AITA On call for work | NTA |
10zxe6m | This year, I decided to get my girlfriend “Anna” some chocolates for Valentine’s day. About a week ago, I got one of those heart shaped chocolate boxes you can get at Target. I was really excited to gift them to my girlfriend until a few days ago, I got really hungry, and temptation got the better of me, and I ate a single one of those chocolates. I figured I could just go swing by Target again b4 Valentines to pick up a new box. ​Fast forward a few days, I was looking around for something of mine in my girlfriend and I’s room and I found another one of those heart shaped chocolate boxes that my girlfriend must have been planning on giving me (it was the same one that I had got).​ Forgetting that I had already eaten a chocolate the box I had bought for Anna, I figured I could just eat a couple chocolates from the box Anna had bought and replace it with the one I’d bought, and then replace the one I had bought later by going to a target again. Temptation got the better of me yet again, and I ate the entire box of Anna’s chocolates. I immediately went pale when I remembered that I had already opened the box I had bought. I heard my girlfriend’s footsteps approaching, so I hid in the bathroom, but Anna went in and caught me, and I confessed to everything. Now she’s mad at me, accusing me of having no self control, but I think she’s overreacting because I was going to swing by Target to replace what I had eaten. Plus the chocolates she bought were going to be for me anyway, so I was really only stealing from myself. | AITA for “stealing from myself”? | YTA |
10zzttc | I (F, not a native-speaker) am at the begining of a new relationship where we are mostly trying to get to really know each other and communicate as much as possible. Few days ago, my BF has told me that he is concerned with my behaviour. According to him, there were some situations where I acted as if I had zero trust in his words or competence.For example, we were at the store buying something and I asked him about some specifics of the product. He told me but soon after that a person working in that store came to see if we needed any help and I supposedly repeated the same question about a product to him. I say supposedly because I do not even remember doing this but I believe I did it when my BF says so (I tend to forget details such as this).My BF says there were more similar situations in the past few weeks which bothers him. I do not really recall doing this and it is not on purpose. I think I might act like this for two reasons: 1. I forgot I already asked him, or 2. I know too many people (including ex-partners) who acted as if they knew everything and were often wrong. Also, I had worked in academic field, so I tend to verify the information and trust the experts.I told him all this but I still feel kind of bad. He was not very pleased when I said that I am not sure how to change this about myself since he is the first person who ever raised a concern about this trait of mine.So, AITA for acting this way and not being ready or sure how to change it? | AITA for acting as if I don't trust in my BF? | NTA |
10zumo4 | me and my friend made plans today. he said to come over, he will prepare food and we will play video games. I called 30min before I arrived at his place and he sounded sleepy, so I asked him if he was sleeping and he said yes. I told him I would be there in 30min and he said ok. When I was at his place, he was still sleeping and he didnt made the impression that he would wake up. I asked him if he wants to continue sleep and he said yes. I told him that I will be leaving then and he said ok. I told him before I left that this is stupid and next time to tell me earlier if he plans to sleep. He defended himself that he didnt planned but just fell asleep and that I know he had a rough working day and that he was sleeping and how the hell he could inform me when he fell a sleep. I mean I could have stayed and played by myself and hang there, but honestly, whats the point. So for him he didnt stood me up but for me he stood me up because he didnt even plan to get up when I arrived. Did I understood things wrong? Did I overreacted? AITA? | AITA for thinking that my friend stood me up? | NTA |
10zyzv6 | I have met a girl online around 5 months ago. For last 5 months, we have been talking more than 3-4 hours per day. We decided to become partners but it is a long distance relationship for now.She has self confidence issues and I have tried to be very supportive about it. I think she is beautiful and I tell her that. But there is a problem, she has a hairstyle which.. I am not fan of. I wont go into details but I believe it is not a good fit for her for few reasons. She also likes it mainly because you can style it in around 2 minutes. She spends more than half an hour for makeup but she does not want spend time for making hair. So I wanted her to change it. I showed her some hairstyles I liked and I asked her to get one she likes. She did but she started complaining about how it takes around 10 minutes to style it and we had an argument about it.At this point, I look like an asshole, I agree. But I need to give some extra information. First thing is, she told me she likes muscles. I started working out, I even drink protein milk which I never thought I would do. She also said she doesn't like beard that much, I started shaving. She also prefers shorter hair, so I have shorter hair. But she does not demand these things. She keeps saying "please don't force yourself too much" or "you don't need to" and she is honest about it. But I want to make her happy so I spend at least around 1.5 hours every day for her. That is why I thought it would be okay for me to ask for her to change her hair. Because I am doing more for her and I would do much more if she asks.We made up already and we apologized to each other, she felt bad for denying my request, I felt bad for asking her to change her hair. She is a person who would accept everything I say if I ask for it enough, so I just want to know if I am asking too much. I don't demand much but I think I am more persistent.Thanks | AITA for asking my partner to change her hair? | YTA |
10zumd3 | I let my good friend listen in on a conversation between me and my roommate because he keeps saying I’m trying to manipulate his feelings. I’m a female and he is male we are both straight and are good friends.First he likes to tell me what to do and get mad if I don’t do it. He comes in my room to tell me we are just friends. I do get why he had to do that but he keeps doing that. He calls me all the time morning and night. Out the blue tells me I need to date and I should go to a bar alone ps I don’t have a car. | AITA for letting my friend listen on FaceTime a conversation with my roommate/other friend | NTA |
10zui0a | I (23F) am currently processing a traumatizing breakup. I'm the person that people in groupies escape to when they can't handle the crowd anymore and just want a more intimate conversation. Basically, I have no support system, but I'm at the ready for when people need to lean on me. I have this one friend (23M) who has this pattern of coming to me when he's at his lowest and then disappearing when he's good again. He recently quit his job and wanted some company, so when he messaged to hang out I agreed hoping that it would also help me get my mind off of the things I was suffering from silently.We watched Titanic in theaters and went bar hopping before calling it a night. As fun as it was,the movie had me missing my ex and I spent every moment after the movie just a little bitter that I couldn't confide in my friend about it. He finally asked me what was wrong on the way home.I opened up, telling him that I had just got out of a relationship that started out like Jack and Rose but in the end my Jack turned into the worst parts of Cal and I'm left picking up the pieces of my heart from the floor of an ocean of tears.My friend turned to me and told me, "that's very selfish of you." I relate to Rose alot, my mother called me selfish when I showed some resisitance to my own arranged marriage, my ex-fiance called me selfish for dishonoring him by loving another and now my friend was telling me I'm selfish for leaving "Jack" when he got abusive. "Your ex pretty much saves your life and then you can't even stick around to save his? You say you love him unconditionally, so why did you leave the second he needs you? You're a narcissist that can't stand when it's someone else's turn to cry." I told the friend that he's the absolute last person I wanted to hear that from because he never hits me up outside of his own self interest. He told me that he doesn't feel like he's taking advantage of me because I seem to have accepted my position in his life, and I'm just as bad for using his low points as an opportunity to experience a social life I wouldn't otherwise have. He's not completely wrong, I really WOULDN'T have a social life if it wasn't for people running to me when they're sad because they're too busy with someone else when they're happy. That being said, I DO genuinely care about my friends' well-being and I only ever go out once in a blue anyways. I feel kinda baited, like I wasn't actually supposed to answer truthfully when he asked me what's wrong. The night out was supposed to be about him, but somehow it became all about me and I can see where he was coming from. I'm having trouble feeling sorry for myself. Do I even have the right to feel used if he views our dynamic as mutually beneficial? | AITA for sticking around a toxic friend for the social status? | NTA |
10zufeb | I don't know if I sound like a spoiled adult child, and if I do sorry. I don't feel bad but thought this would be perfect to ask on here. so basically we live with a family member right now ,and we'll hopefully move in about 2 week's, and I'll get a job and save and perhaps get my own place. any ways my parents get upset about how this, family member seems like they're annoyed when we're here. and that she has to see us everyday, or come home to us, this family makes noises and faces. now I feel like it's mean but I get it. now to the meat and potatoes, I always go into my parents room, at least the one they're staying in. i like to be around them and sometimes watch a movie or two. I don't have to but we do, but after coming, in about every other day for 4 day's they seem annoyed. and make face's and look upset. so today I thought let me come in today, I felt they may be tired of me, but I thought why? they should understand opening arms. any ways I went in, and then I saw they're enamor go down, so then I said you know I don't have to watch a movie, every time I come in here, you can just watch what you want. but I said it will a smile, then my dad just threw his hand up, like what ever. and my mom said okay with a smirk like saying calm down, but I wasn't being crazy, I knew what she was thinking, like I called her out. but I didn't I just wanted them to know, I wasn't trying to impose just spend time with them. any ways I politely left and wont spend time with them like that again. AITA for getting made at my parents and trying to eat up they're time. | AITA for always trying to hang with everyone? | YTA |
110lliy | I am currently 8 months pregnant, and because of that, I often get quite tired when I stand or walk for long periods of time. Yesterday afternoon, I was craving ice cream, so I drove to a nearby shopping center to visit my favorite ice cream shop. Unfortunately, the place was quite crowded, and all of the tables surrounding the shop, as well as some nearby sofas were taken. Because of that, after getting my ice cream, I decided to sit on one of two massage chairs that were close, and eat it there.Once I started eating the snack, I got approached by a couple that was in their late teens, or perhaps early twenties. They asked me to get off the chair, since I wasn't getting a massage, and they wanted to receive such a service together, which I refused to do. In return, I offered to leave once I finished eating, or if they found me a different place to sit, since I could not stand for more than a few minutes at a time, and had a relatively large dessert that I wanted to finish.Upon hearing that, the girl was not happy. She told me to stop acting as if I was ill, that just because I was pregnant, the world did not revolve around me, and because I was not paying for a massage, I had no right to sit on the chair. She then asked her partner to get a security guard, and a few moments later, he came with such an employee.The guard took my side, and asked the couple to either take turns using the second massage chair, or wait for me to finish eating, which upset the girl quite a bit. She accused me of being selfish and preventing the owner of the chairs from earning money, and left with her partner. Upon telling this story to my younger sister, she told me that I should have went to the ice cream stand when the shopping center was less crowded, if I wasn't able to eat while standing, however, my older sister believes that I had every right to sit on the massage chair if all the other spots were taken, and the couple was being unreasonable. Because of that, I'm not sure if I am the asshole in this situation.Edit: This really blew up, and now that I think about this situation, I can see that I am, indeed, in the wrong. Next time a similar situation happens, I will order the ice cream in an edible bowl, and eat it in my car, instead of taking up sitting spots that are owned by other businesses. | AITA for not getting up from a massage chair when someone wanted to use it? | YTA |
110lz1f | I 23f am currently 8 months pregnant. We had been keeping it a secret and planned to tell people around this time, but a few months after my pregnancy my SIL26 found out she was pregnant, and then it just felt awkward to announce. We wanted to wait for the right time. I’ve been with married to my Husband for only 6 months, but we’ve been together on and off since we were 14 (permanently together since we were 16)When we were 17, we found out I was pregnant I had complications, I gave birth to my preemie stillborn at 25 weeks. So this pregnancy we’ve been extra cautious, and secretive. I haven’t seen family much these past few months and I carry small, but as I developed a bump I’ve been wearing hoodies and loose clothing. With that I kind of just looked like I gained weight. We were hesitant on me going, I was just going to send my husband with a gift of mine, but SIL said she really wanted me there. I decided to try my best to hide the bump and go.It was all going well, no one noticed, I mean I got a few looks but no one asked me anything. Then about an hour in I started having tiny cramps, that eventually got more aggressive. I told my husband we need to leave I need to go to the hospital. As We we’re walking a sharp pain hit me and I grabbed the picnic table next to me and almost stumbled over causing attention to myself. I really thought I was in labor, the pains were getting so intense. People started surrounding us, asking what was the matter and my husband says “She’s pregnant, guys she pregnant, something’s goin on, we have to leave.” He was panicked himself. He rushed me to the hospital.By the time we got the hospital my pains had subsided, they said it was false labor. My husband and I both had angry texted messages from SIL and other guest at the party about us hiding the pregnancy,how messed up it was, and how they couldn’t believe I showed up pregnant and was secret about it. How I had a “babystunt” at someone else’s shower Just a lot of not nice text. Not one asking if I was alright. | AITA for hiding my pregnancy and showing up to SIL babyshower | NTA |
110nz69 | I work as a lifeguard at a waterpark and part of my job includes managing the top of the waterslides. I’m to make sure no one does anything dangerous like going face first, cramming too many people on one innertube, etc. I’m also instructed to ask anyone who looks like they could be over the weight limit–250 pounds–to weigh themselves on our scale, and deny them entry if they refuse. I’m not super comfortable with this, but it’s much better than risking people’s safety.Here lies the problem: I lift weights, and for this reason I am very dense–I weigh 185 pounds but somehow wear a size 6. Most of my friends also lift and have similar body compositions to me. For this reason I have trouble estimating how much someone actually weighs.This problem presented itself last weekend when an overweight teenage girl wanted to ride the slide. She most likely wasn’t over 250 pounds, but I couldn’t be certain. I’ve gotten better at estimating weights but my supervisor says if there’s any chance they’re over 250 to weigh them, so I approached her gently and asked her to please get on the scale. She met me with a snarky teenager attitude and said “what if I refuse?” She was with a group of teenagers, some of whom were giggling.“Then you won’t be allowed on the slide,” I said matter-of-factly.She rolled her eyes and got on the scale, and her weight wasn’t even close to 250 so I felt kind of bad. She then said “See?” and went along with her friends.Although she gave me attitude I could tell she was embarrassed. Her face was red as she went back to her friends, who were all thin. I asked my supervisor how he would have handled the situation and he said I did the right thing, that it’s better to hurt someone’s feelings than break someone’s bones.However, yesterday I was called into the office of the owner of the waterpark. She told me she received an angry email from a parent about how I embarrassed their child in front of her friends. I explained to her that I was just following protocol and she asked me how much the girl actually weighed. I gave her the answer and she laughed at me and told me I could never get a job as a weight guesser at a carnival and that I need to do my job better. My supervisor is backing me up and saying I was doing what he has required me to do. I’m thankful for his support but honestly this whole situation is making me feel like an a\*\*hole. I know teenage girls are a particularly vulnerable population, as I was a teenage girl not too long ago, and I could have possibly handled that situation with more care. But at the same time safety is my first priority. Does that make me the a\*\*hole? | AITA for making a teenage girl weigh herself at the top of a waterslide? | NTA |
110r17t | I am an art teacher at a school in a small town, recently I welcomed a new student to the class, he had previously been homeschooled but had begged his parents to let him go to normal school with his friends, he's a great kid, he has already fit right in with the class and he does really great work, my only issue with him has been that he does not ask to leave the classroom, if he needs a bathroom he just leaves. I'm not the strict "everything needs to be my way" kind of teacher, but administration has a very strict policy for students outside of classrooms during class periods.I asked his parents to come in so we could discuss it, to try to get them to help me figure out a way to get him to follow this rule. They arrived and seemed like fine enough people, but then saw my photo on my desk of myself (28m) and my husband (31M) they asked who it was and I was honest, it has never been an issue before. They later called the school to report me for "inappropriate behavior in the classroom" mind you I do not talk about my husband in class, I am there to teach, not preach lol. Administration is definitely with me on this, but honestly they have started sending some really rude emails to my school provided account and I would like to honor their wishes that their child not be "exposed" to my "disgusting lifestyle"I may be the asshole here because as good of a student as he is I just no longer feel comfortable with him in my class, he loves art class and there are no other art teachers at the school so he'd be removed from the course entirely which I know isn't fair to him. But it also is not fair to me to be called things like groomer, and accused of working in a school to "corrupt innocent minds with [my] filth"Edit: forgot to add, they have requested I be fired and replacedEdit 2: gonna talk to a lawyer, but also we have talked it over and decided to move after the school year, going to go somewhere a bit bluer, thanks everyone! | WIBTA for requesting a child be removed from my class due to his parents? | NTA |
110sa1h | I (33m) share one child (6f) with my wife (36f). She has another daughter (13f) that lives with us full time, we also have custody of our niece (15f). The teens are each other’s best friends, they share a large bedroom which was done at their request. The dynamic here is pretty much mom and youngest against the teens, with me being the referee between everyone. My wife has taught the youngest, she can blame others for her actions to avoid consequences. She just says the word, one of the teens will get punished without question. There’s no doubt, she is my wife’s favorite. I love her, but she’s becoming nothing more than an entitled brat. As just a mere example, my wife and I had an appointment we both needed to attend. When we came back, it was apparent the pool had been used. They’re not allowed to swim while we aren’t home. As the youngest divulged, “Mommy I was in my room coloring, I never went swimming.” The teens said that was not true, she had gone swimming as well. Only the teens were punished, my wife refused to give the youngest any type of consequence. I later found her wet swimming suit hidden in the garage. My wife and I argued, I felt strongly she needed to not only be punished for swimming, but also for lying. After a relentless disagreement, I was silenced as she gave the youngest a very minimal consequence. The lying, blaming and favoritism ultimately caused the teens to act out, understandably. Most of their consequences are done by giving more chores, specifically the chores the 6 year old has. Or as recent, they were removed from music lessons as a consequence. I believe they’re so frustrated they don’t even care when they verbally attack their mother after her unfair treatment towards them. After all, they already get blamed and punished for things they don’t even do, from my perspective lashing out gives them a release. We’ve have had countless, tiring arguments. She’d either not see her faults, or we’d agree to do this and that, but it was never actually done. I decided to write her a performance review, as a SAHM. Her areas in need of improvement, well it was a lot. But I touched on how she needs to listen better, stop being biased. Be fair in all her decisions, stop making rash decisions without taking all three kids into consideration. I recommended her to give each child the same amount of one-on-one alone time to speak, or just be with one another. So it wouldn’t be an entirely slap to her face, I gave her accolades on her strong points for other areas aside from parenting. I guess I felt this would work best, because I could organize my thoughts on paper without her interjecting. However, it quickly backfired in my face. She was quiet the first hour after I handed it to her. Then she completely exploded on me, said if we’re going to do this type shit she’ll get a private bank account and take half my paycheck every week. She further said the review was abusive, and a manipulative sexist move. AITA? | AITA for giving my SAHM wife a written performance review with suggested areas needing improvement? | YTA |
110xuih | Edit: when I got home I did tell him I was tired and I asked if he could do it but he started saying that I had promised And he had plans with his friend already, so I agreed again afterwards and then I took a nap and overslept and when I woke up there was only an hour before the laundromat closed, so I could have still gone but it would’ve been really rushed (and I was probably being a bit petty)Also the blazer is from H&M.to keep this short my (25f) bf (26m) had a big interview on Friday that could jumpstart his career. He’s been planning for it for about 3 weeks. Usually I do all the laundry and take care of our flat in terms of cleaning.On Wednesday he told me he wanted to wear a very specific blazer and it was in the bin to be washed. I usually do laundry on the weekends because I am a full time uni student + I work part time so during the week is hard to make time to go to the laundromat. I told him I would do it Thursday night though, and he said ok. (Mind you he hasn’t been working since he just graduated school in the fall semester so since the end of December, his parents help him pay the rent until he gets a job) Anyway Thursday rolls around and I get home from class and he’s just playing a video game and he immediately asks me when I’m going to do laundry since he’s very nervous and wants it to go perfectly. I’m so tired from school bc I had an exam he didn’t even ask me about, so I feel irritated and say I’m going to do it later but I’m going to nap first, he again says ok and he’s going to meet up with a friend for a drink to help calm his nerves.Anyway as the title says, I ended up not doing the laundry because I was tired and also partially pissed off. He was super pissed, ended up wearing something else and saying that I screwed him up by not fufilling what I agreed to. I thought this might blow over since he said it still went well despite me “attempting to sabatoge him” but he is not speaking to him still and has even said he may go stay with his parents over this. Was I really that much of an ass? | AITA for screwing up my boyfriends interview by not doing his laundry on purpose? | ESH |
110tvop | To give a little context me and my gf were driving and to make the time pass quicker we were playing spelling bee. She would say a word and I would spell it out. After some time back and forth, we switched to me asking her how to do some maths questions. Namely calculating the price after a percentage discount has been applied. After a few questions, I noticed that she was counting on her fingers to help her solve those questions that me seemed easy and I can do that in my head. Now I have no problem with her using whatever method to work out the answer, however while she was counting on her fingers I said “it would be embarrassing if you did that in the office”. After that it was silence in the car and some arguing. I don’t feel like what I said is wrong, as I wasn’t making fun of her for counting on her fingers, I was just stating that in an office environment counting on your fingers would be embarrassing.AITA? | AITA for saying counting on your fingers in the office would be embarrassing | YTA |
110mqtm | I have a 13 years old daughter with my ex wife. She also has 2 more kids who I think are 11 and 8.My daughter hates taking the bus to school because it takes longer and isn't much comfortable. This year my work schedule changed so now I'm free to take her to school and bring her back. We usually get breakfast on our way to school or we spend some time afterwards.My ex asked me to give her other kids a ride as well. She thinks I should do this because her older kid goes to the same school as my daughter and her younger kid's school is on my way. She says her kids get jealous when they see their sister doesn't have to take the bus which takes about an hour longer to get to home or school.I told her I will not do it because her kids are not my responsibility and she thinks I'm an asshole | AITA for not giving my ex wife's kids a ride? | NTA |
110ub19 | First-world problem here... but I'm being called an AH for it. A brief summary:I spent most of the pandemic turning my basement into a world-class home theatre. I designed it, I spent the money, I spent the time. It took a lot of effort. It's a work of art, with a 120-inch screen, laser projector, Dolby Atmos sound system, comfy sofas, popcorn machine and snack bar. It's all as awesome as it sounds.Needless to say, it's become very popular... with family, with friends, with the kids. People are over all the time watching TV, movies and playing video games. It's great -- I love I've created something so many people can appreciate and enjoy.While the vast majority of the time this theatre is available, I've made it clear there are times when I want it for myself... certain sporting events, and most certainly the Super Bowl (which is kicking off shortly).I made it clear anyone who wants to join me is welcome... there will be popcorn, pizza and drinks. Come on over, should be great. My wife is off doing something else and our kids, teenagers, are off somewhere else. As it turns out, I thought I might have it all to myself and that's fine but, like I said, anyone was welcome to join me.I got a call yesterday from family (wife's sister-in-law, who's married to my wife's brother, who have a couple of kids 11 and 9) asking if they could come over for it. Sure, I said, but I didn't know you guys were sports fans... I asked if they even knew who was playing. Yeah, she said... Philadelphia, right? The Flyers? No, the Flyers is hockey... whatever, come on over.I thought the worst thing might be I'd be explaining football rules to people who know nothing about the game, but whatever.They came over an hour before kickoff, and the kids ran to the theatre while I said the hellos upstairs. By the time I came back down to watch the pre-game show, they were on the PS5 playing... and asked what movie we'd be watching.Which led me going upstairs and discussing with the parents -- wtf is going on here? As it turns out, the parents thought they could come over and of course I'd hand over the theatre... and said so to their kids. And my wife's not even here. After all, I just want to watch the game alone; why not watch upstairs in the living room? It's a nice big TV. Yeah, no... if you want to watch a movie, go right ahead... the living room is indeed available, but the theatre is the Super Bowl.Which led to a stupid argument, me being called an AH, crying kids. I think they've left but I'm not sure. I am downstairs, alone, and I don't care, but I am pissed off that this mood is kind of ruined. KC just won the coin toss, this is about to begin, and I'm thinking about this bullshit instead of the game. I texted and left a message to my wife explaining what happened but have not heard back yet.OK, first down Flyers! That's it for now.... but feel free to explain to me who I might be the AH in this scenario. I sincerely don't think so.POST GAME EDIT: Thank you all for responding, overwhelmingly agreeing with what I thought. That's validating. A few on you touched on a point that's not irrelevant, and good food for thought... which is that they knew my wife would be away, and I don't think they'd have tried to pull this stunt if she'd been home... alluding to point that these people are using me, or at least trying to. I have to reflect on the fact that there's some truth to that, and that's for a whole other post. I have been very open and generous with this theatre, perhaps too much. | AITA for wanting to watch the Super Bowl in my home theatre? | NTA |
110v6yz | I (28f) was at work last week and I have a coworker (mid 20s, m) who is autistic. My dad died in a terrible accident when I was younger. As far as most people know, they're aware that he's passed but don't know the details. My autistic coworker came up to me the other day and started asking me personal questions. I don't mind answering most of them, but when he asked about my dad, I clearly told him I don't want to talk about it. He kept asking why and pried even after I repeatedly told him that it's sensitive. It got to the point I was pissed off.I told him that my dad is dead and detailed everything from how he died, all the injuries, the funeral, everything. It sent my coworker into a panic attack from the details. He had to leave work early. My boss pulled me aside to ask what's going on and I told him what happened and told me he'll take care of it.When my coworker came back next day, my boss pulled him aside and proceeded to fire him because there have been one or two similar incidences. People were trying to pry and say I was an asshole because he's autistic. I responded that there's a difference between an excuse and an explanation, and they're using his autism as an excuse. AITA? | AITA because I sent an autistic guy into a panic attack by telling him exactly how my dad died because he kept asking me about it? | NTA |
110segr | My (50M) mother recently passed away and my brother (48M) and I inherited her house worth about 1.5 million. My brother has asked if I could give up my share of the inheritance so he could own and live in the house. His reasoning is that I’m already well off and already own and paid off my own house, and this was his only chance to own a home. I said no, but offered 4 alternative options: we can sell the house, he could buy me out, we could rent out the house and split the profits, or he could live there with his family for free as long as he could pay for the taxes and upkeep of the house.Now he’s upset with me because he says I’m already set in life, while he’s still struggling to make ends meet and doesn’t own a house.Here’s some additional context:We grew up in a poor, but very loving family. My parents worked really hard to provide for us, and really stressed pursuing college to free ourselves from poverty. I worked hard, took loans, went to college, got a good paying job, got married, and had kids. My brother graduated college, but didn’t end up pursuing his field, and job hopped from one minimum wage job to the next. He’s married now and has a toddler. I feel bad for his situation, but I feel like I’m being punished for my success. I worked hard to get where I am today. I love my brother and want what’s best for him and his family. But my share of the inheritance would still be a lot of money. Am I being greedy, and AITA? | AITA for refusing to give up my share of the inheritance | NTA |
110qd88 | I’m 26 weeks pregnant and my clothes have become too tight. This is my second pregnancy and I bought a lot of maternity clothes during my first but I donated them to a friend who is also pregnant but was going through some financial hardships as she needed them more than I do. I was going to buy more maternity clothes when I needed them but I’ve started wearing my husband clothes and I find them a lot more comfortable and it’s not like I’m going to work every day so I’ve decided not to.My husband mostly doesn’t complain about me stealing his clothes all of the time and I’ve had dinner with his family twice wearing his clothes. They’ve never said anything to me directly but my sister-in-law told my husband to ask me to wear something more suitable the next time as her parents would be there. I saw her texts and they really upset me so I’m refusing to buy maternity clothes just for their stupid dinners.My husband offered to go buy some for me and has even tried dangling the idea of us going somewhere nice for a date soon to try to convince me I need them but I haven’t budged. I did text my sister-in-law to let her know I didn’t appreciate it but that only opened the door for her to try to convince me/argue with me over me needing maternity clothes.AITA? | AITA for wearing my husband’s clothes instead of buying maternity clothes? | NTA |
110j7lz | I have tattoos. My fiancee, Valeria, has tattoos. Neither of us is a tattoo virgin. I do not control her or tell her what to do with her body. We just got back from three weeks in the Philippines. Valeria isn't talking to me. She decided that she really wanted a traditional Filipino tattoo. I believe it is called Batok. Her grandmother is from the Philippines and it was something she wanted to.yet on here honor. None of this was an issue. What was am issue was that she decided to get it on our fourth day there. If you don't know anything about tattoos just think of fresh tattoos as an open wound. So for the rest of our time there she didn't go in the water. She could shower but that was about it. So nothing in the ocean. Except for sailing She couldn't snorkel, scuba, parasail, jet ski. Nothing. And she got mad at me if I went. Before she even got it I said that she should wait and have it done on our way home. Nope not good enough. It had to be from this one artist who had time for her that day. I told her it was a dumb decision. I tried pulling up pictures of infected tattoos to show her it was a bad idea. She ignored me. After she got the tattoo the grandson of the artist.told her the rules. Including don't go in the damn ocean. Which I had already told her. She said that it was something she always wanted and that we might not have had an opportunity to see that artist again. I would have made the effort to get her back there before we left. Now she is pissed that she spent all this money and time on her vacation and basically had to sit by the pool and drink for most of it. "Like her mom and dad would do". I don't see how her decision is my fault. But she is still.upset with me. To finish off. I did not say she was dumb. I said she made a dumb decision. I didn't rub it in afterwards. All my efforts went into convincing her to wait beforehand. | AITA for telling my fiancee her decision to get a tattoo was dumb. | NTA |
110itsv | I (25F) am about to get married to my fiance (28M) and we already got the wedding list down, however my sister (25F, Irish twin) just rejected my invitation cause apparently she doesn't believe she can be at my wedding without her "trauma" being triggered.Her husband died 6 years ago just 10 days after they got married and now my sister thinks attending another wedding would trigger all of these memories and it would be too much for her, even tho she knew her husband would die soon after their wedding cause he had late stage cancer (and that was only reason they even got married) and it was 6 years ago, so by all means she shouldn't be so traumatized that she'd avoid any and all weddings, including mine. Honestly I feel like this trauma thing is just an excuse not to come cause we've always had a rocky relationship, but c'mon now, it's my wedding, she should put that aside and support me during my biggest day. Also her friend called me to complain about how our family "harassing" my sister to come to my wedding are sending her into depression and even made her skip work, which I admit I did got my family to try to convince my sister to attend my wedding, but nobody has been harassing anyone and I feel like she's once again playing the "depression card" so she can get away with her unfair treatment of me, but now even my fiance is on her side and wants to leave her alone cause it's not worth it to "bully" anyone to come to our wedding (he also suggested me to post this here).AITA ? | AITA for thinking that my sister is selfish for wanting to skip my wedding cause of her "trauma" ? | YTA |
110vd79 | I (34f) am throwing Super Bowl get party at my house for my extended family today. My mother in law and my brother-in-law and his children were carpooling to my house.I told them my husband and I’s party was going to start at 6. This morning I texted them to ask what time they would be over here by. They didn’t respond the whole day, and they just came over at 5:00pm unannounced.I refused to let them in, since I wasn’t ready and they weren’t invited at that time. My mil demanded to be let in and argued that it was cold out (it wasn’t that cold it was 45 degrees). I told them my house my rules and that they should go out and eat or something and come back in an hour. When they refused, my husband and I said I would call the police if they wouldn’t leave willingly.My brother in law left in a huff. When 6 rolled around, they didn’t come back, and my brother in law just left a snarky message saying that they were going to watch the Super Bowl at his house instead.​Now my extended family won’t speak to me. | AITA for not allowing my family into my house? | YTA |
110j37t | My husband was in an accident while he was visiting his family. My in-laws weren’t planning to tell me because we’ve been having issues for over a year that they know about but he kept asking for me so they finally did. He had already been discharged from the hospital by the time I got there so he was recovering at their family home. I went straight there as soon as my flight landed but my brother-in-law was refusing to let me in to see him. He told me to wait outside until my husband woke up and if he still wanted to see me then he would let me in. He was also implying the accident was my fault. I was tired and irritated so I told him that if my husband died, I would inherit their family home and then I’d be the one keeping him outside. He took it to mean I was disappointed my husband hadn’t died which couldn't be further from the truth. I eventually left and got a hotel because he got so angry that he was scaring me and continuing to argue with him would've been pointless.He told everybody what I said so when I next went to see my husband things were awkward between me and his family. No matter how many times I’ve tried to explain I never meant it the way my brother-in-law took it, it hasn’t made a difference. The only person who didn't take my brother-in-law at his word is my husband, who has been making a joke out of it.AITA? | AITA for saying that if my husband died, I would inherit their family home to my brother-in-law? | ESH |
110qlwy | I (16m) think that, overall, my school is an okay place. The staff members are all nice and everything, but one thing I noticed is that they definitely have a bias towards students with disabilities like autism. I know sometimes it's necessary to give certain kids extra help and stuff, but there's kids in my school that have been harassing my friends and I all year, and they never get in trouble because of their autism. There's a lot of them, but there's one boy that's really been a problem for a long time. He does have autism, but it's not like he can't function. He walks to every class on his own without needing help and is capable of doing things himself. But he's not a nice kid at all. He takes pictures of people without consent. He comes to my table at lunch, starts mocking my friends and I, and won't leave. He also said some really racist and sexist things. He's always coming up to me and bragging about stupid things, like how he's taller than me. (I'm 5'3 and he's 5'8, and he's seriously saying that because he's taller he's more attractive.) For some weird reason, he also seems very attached to me. We're in most of our classes together, and he insists on sitting near me in all of them. He also tells on me for everything I do. If I have my phone out he'll tell the teacher. Which, okay, I shouldn't have my phone out, but it's not his business. A few days ago, I was walking with my friend through the hallway, and I caught him taking pictures of me or taking a video or something. (I know because he was walking farther behind us and holding his phone out) At first I wasn't going to say anything since, because of his disability, I would be the one getting in trouble if I did something. But my friend got defensive and told him to leave us alone, and they started arguing. Eventually I just lost patience and snapped at the kid and told him to fuck off. One of the teachers came over and asked what was happening, and she brought all of us to the principal, and the kid said that my friend and I were "ganging up on him." My friend interrupted him and told the principal about what the boy was doing. The boy apologized to us and explained that he's autistic and sometimes doesn't know what's not acceptable to do. The principal seemed like he believed him, and when he was about to let him go, I cut in and said that just because he has autism doesn't mean he's not an asshole, and everyone needed to realize that. After that, the school called my parents. When I got home my dad was really mad at me for disrespecting the kid. My mom understood but my dad wanted to take my phone away. Aita? | AITA for saying that just because my classmate has autism doesn't mean he's not an asshole? | NTA |
110v1fr | My friend (51 F) says she's diagnosed with EDS. I offered to help her with her yard at her house, and I noticed she was asleep for most of the day. When she woke up I asked her why she wasn't helping me do some of the work and she said she still feels tired. I said ''how can you feel tired when you sleep all day?'' she told me ''because I have EDS'' and I told her my son has EDS and he works in a prison every day of the week. He sleeps 8 hours each night and works for the entire day no problem. I told her she's not putting in any effort and she's being lazy. She began to get upset and emotional and I'd had enough so I left. AITA here? | AITA for questioning my friend's EDS | YTA |
110uu9s | Fellow Redditors: I’ve been married for more than two decades, and for most of that time my wife and I have made similar money. Four years ago I started climbing the corporate ladder, and my income has steadily grown to around 1.7x what my wife makes.Coincidentally, my wife and I welcomed our 3rd child just before my income started to diverge from hers. At that time, I took over all our household bills to allow her to take a few months of maternity leave. Once she returned to work and resumed earning income, she declined to take on a portion of the bills, and has grown more resistant to doing so as my income has grown.All I’m asking is for her to be responsible for a portion of our monthly bills as a symbol of shared responsibility for our family. I am being told that I’m just greedy and all I care about is money. AITA for expecting her to share in our expenses? | AITA for expecting my wife who makes less money than me to pay some of the bills? | NTA |
110hckz | My brother is having a destination wedding. I'm sure it will be very nice. I am a widowed, single mom with two young kids. I'm not destitute or even hard up. My husband had insurance. We live in a paid off house and we have investments that provide me with an excellent amount of backstop to my salary. I would would rather be in debt up to my eyes and be in his arms every night. Trust me. The wedding will cost about $2,200 for a week. It is a very good resort. I RSVP'd no. Maybe if it was in the summer I would consider it a vacation. But I would need to take time off school. My in-laws are retired and they love watching the kids but they are elderly, my husband was a little older than me, and my kids are a lot to take for a week. If I take the kids out of school and bring them to the wedding then it will cost $5,500 since we would be sharing a room. That would put a massive dent in our budget. I know that my parents are still working to save for retirement. So this will be expensive for them. My brother called me right away to ask why I wasn't coming. I said I really wanted to come but I just couldn't justify it. He said that I have lots of money in the bank. That's not really any of his business. And if, god forbid, something happens to me, my kids are going to need that money. I'm not going to blow a chunk of it on a wedding. He is upset that I won't be coming. He kept pushing until I finally admitted that I just didn't think it was the best use of my money. Then I said something I probably should not have. I said if he really wanted me there then he could pay for the trip. He hung up and hasn't called back. My parents did call me though and they said that I didn't need to hoard all my money. I'm torn. Am I being an asshole by not splurging a little and going to my brother's wedding? Am I an asshole for basically telling him he has to pay me to go? I can see his point of view but I have a lot of other things I need to consider. I thought maybe an outside perspective would tell me if I'm being a bitch.Edit.Before everyone jumps on my brother. He came to my destination wedding. But it wasn't as expensive and he stayed in the same room asy parents. And my husband paid for everyone in our family that we invited. | AITA for telling my brother that I will only attend his wedding if he pays. | NTA |
110re5m | My (F26) twin brother (M26) and I are super close. We went to the same college and I also became very close with his gf (F28). They've been dating for around six years and my brother has told me that they've discussed marriage and kids but were waiting for him to finish his master's degree.Around a year ago his gf called me for some advice. She told me that she was pregnant but didn't think that she wanted to have the baby. She wanted my opinion on how he would take it as they have discussed having kids. We're both pro-choice but that said my brother was super supportive when I had my daughter (F3, her dad split before she was born). He has been a great uncle, always talking about how he can't wait to have kids of his own, etc. I told her that it could be a deal-breaker for him but she had to tell him to find out. She said she would be telling him and also asked that I keep it to myself. He never brought it up with me and there was no baby so I assumed he was working it through on his own (he's like that sometimes).My brother asked for help picking out a ring and I offered to let him use our great-grandmother's ring to propose (it was left to me). We agreed he would come for a visit to pick it up just before he's going to ask her.He came over last weekend to pick it up. He arranged for some of my friends to take me out for a girls' night and he babysat giving me a much needed break as a small thank you. When I got home I was feeling sentimental so I started tell him how happy our Nana would have been that he's getting married, how he's going to be a great dad and how proud of him I am that they were able to move past their trouble in the last year, etc. He didn't react at all, we just carried on talking until I went to bed. The next morning was completely normal, he made breakfast for us, took the ring and said his good-byes.Yesterday he called me in tears. He had picked up on what I said and asked his gf about it. He said at first she wouldn't tell him but eventually told him the whole story. He gave it some time but decided he couldn't marry her so he broke things off. He said it was about how she could keep so something important from him that he didn't think he could trust her ever again. He also told me that he was a little hurt that I didn't tell him at the time but he understood that I thought he knew.Shortly after that I started to get messages from his gf and a couple of college friends saying I'm an AH for telling him and ruining her life. I feel bad that they broke up and I kind of feel like it's my fault. I legitimately thought she had told him and I was expressing pride that I thought he had grown to accept her reasons/feelings in addition to his own.So reddit, AITA? | AITA for letting a secret slip leading to a break-up? | NTA |
110qs0s | I am a woman 30 years old I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend 28 years old for almost three years. We love each other and we have contemplated the future together. Our relationship is not perfect but we have worked around every issue. We live together, we rent an apartment and we split the expenses, I pay half of everything and sometimes more because I make the double money as him. His family doesn't like me, starting with his mom. We had a big argument and we no longer are in touch. I should mention that during that argument my boyfriend took his mom's side all the time, even when she screamed at me saying I have no rights in the apartment my boyfriend and I RENT because my name is not on the lease, and because it's his son's house she can do whatever she wants without consulting with me. I took that as the signal to start buying my own place. I'm financially stable, I make good money and I have excellent credit and so I did. During the process of buying, I told my boyfriend about my plans and he got upset because is not going to be his house. I offered him that I'd pay the whole mortgage, in the end, is my house, and he could help out with the utilities in the home. He was not pleased with the idea. To avoid more problems I decided I would put him on the title of the house even though the downpayment was all mine, the closing cost was all my money, and it's my credit on the house. After I put him on the title of the house he told me he will pay 23% of the mortgage plus the utilities of the house and I will take on the rest since I make more money. I'm not comfortable with putting him on the title of the house and I don't think it's a good idea, we are not even married and I don't think I'm being financially smart here. I feel I'm being pressured to do that to save our relationship. I don't want to tell him how I feel because we are still recovering from the argument with his mom and I fear that would affect our relationship even more. AM I THE ASSHOLE? | AITA FOR NOT WANTING TO ADD MY BOYFRIEND TO THE TITLE OF THE HOUSE I'M BUYING? | NTA |
110n9gu | [My previous thread.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10r4igm/aita_for_losing_my_cool_at_a_passerby_trying_to/)So, first off I just wanted to extend my thanks for everyone who weighed in on the matter. I have a lot of issues I battle with on the daily, and one of those without getting soapbox-y is how I come off to people. I would much rather maintain the peace instead of stoke the flames of drama. As a sort of thank you, I just wanted to give everyone a very quick wrap up.We are nearing two weeks now since the incident (11 days from posting, the few days after where he didn't re-appear), so it's pretty safe to say he got the message. Here is what happened since then, and hopefully some of this can help others who encounter a similar situation:* I have placed a "do not feed the animals" sign up facing the foot traffic area. I decided it would be good to have as an additional deterrent.* The ground is too cold now, and too temperamental at the moment, but once it starts to get warmer we will be installing metal slates to go inside our fencing to deter interaction.* I spoke with the neighborhood, two families mentioned they know who he is, that he lives alone and they had to tell him to not do that either but only after threatening the cops did he stop (similar to me). I also asked if they believed him to have some form of dementia or other memory impairing disease. One of the men spoke up saying he talks to him literally every other week or so when he comes in to his shop to ask questions. They have full conversations, and he, quote, "has one of the sharpest memories he ever seen, that he even remembers things I don't remember."* Cops were notified regardless. I told them I don't expect any more trouble, and that they were told about him from someone else a few months ago so that if I see him again to just call it in. Probably one of the families I talked to.* Puppies aren't too happy with me since they don't get their sporadic daily treats from strangers, but thems the haps (and their stomachs will thank me for it, much to the dismay of my slippers).That's it really. I know it's not super eventful or anything, but that's basically where we are now. I think this is as wrapped up as it can be. Here's to hoping the sign does it's job better than my words for anyone else in the future.Ya'll have a good rest of the evening, stay warm! | UPDATE: Regarding the elderly man feeding my dogs without my permission situation (actual closure for those who wanted a followup) | NTA |
110ypvp | My M 28 and F 29 friends have been on-off for a few years. They've been FWB for a while now. They used protection and she was on BC.Recently F was worried that she was late on her period. Waited for a few days, got the pregnancy test and turned out she was pregnant. Both of them freaked out and together decided to not have the baby.A few days later, she changed her mind. She wanted to keep the baby. He didn't. He says he communicated this from the very beginning. Now she's pressurising him to be a father or at least pay child support because she can't afford to take care of the baby on her own. And her parents are back home, so she's alone here. Plus, they're not super rich.He apparently made her sign a waiver years ago that if this happened, he won't be responsible for the baby in any way. It's a legal document. She forgot about this. Now she and our other mutual friends are emotionally guilting him to discard the contract and help her out anyway. They've been calling him heartless and cold. He offered to pay for the abortion, but nothing more than that.She went emotional and crazy and started making social media posts about how men are all pigs and how her bf (not bf, a fuck buddy) is dumping her when she got pregnant to get sympathy and getting him involved in the child's life. He got nasty reactions from people online and IRL and is super pissed. He also retracted his offer for paying for the abortion. She's been asking me to convince him to change his mind because we're friends. I said no because it's none of my business. She took it as me not supporting her. Now somehow I also became the bad guy. So, AITA? | AITA for not supporting my friend who's not getting child support? | NTA |
110r09d | Earlier today I (21M) got out of the shower and didn’t put a shirt on. This isn’t usual for the morning time, but I forgot to bring a shirt with me to the bathroom to change into. I ran downstairs just to grab an apple to snack on.For context, I pay rent but my older brother (24M) is jobless so it’s my home to dress however I want, I’m about 200 lbs so yeah I’m kinda chubby but I’d say I’m far from “disgusting”. I’m still not sure why, but my brother’s future MIL (60’s?F) has been staying with us for the past few days. I don’t hate her, but she’s not someone I would ever want to spend any time with mainly because she’s overweight and really stinky.As I’m walking into the kitchen she looked at me and said “Ew that’s disgusting you need to put a shirt on!”Without missing a beat I say back “If you think this is disgusting I hope you never look in a mirror.”Now my brother, his fiancé (21F), and my mom (42F) are all mad at me. My grandma (66F) is on my side, but says I should just bite the bullet and apologize, but my sister (25F) and her boyfriend (28M) think it’s hilarious. I told them I’m not apologizing for my comment until she apologizes for hers so now it’s been kinda tense in the house for the past few hours. | AITA for telling my older brother’s future MIL not to look in the mirror? | NTA |
110k2a9 | Hello! I am 45F, and I have a 20 years old son, Ron. He is deaf. He is high functioning (almost like a regular adult without a disability) and can speak and lip read, and is independent for most parts, and just relies on me for some stuff.Yesterday evening, I was watching Love on the Spectrum with my son. And I told my son that that even special needs person can find love, and even though he was one of them, due to his deafness, he can find love.He got upset with me and told me that Deaf is not special needs. I said that being deaf is a special needs because he relies on me for several stuff such as making phone calls for doctor appointment, or hearing fire alarm etc. He said that Special needs is referred to those that are low functioning and cannot be completely independent (such as Autism, Down Syndrome etc), and Ron said he was much more independent than them.I told him that he has to stop rejecting the fact that he is disabled, and he is special needs and there was nothing wrong with that.he got pretty upset with me, and told me that I was not a supportive person because he said that by saying he is special needs, I do not believe that he can ever be independent. And he just left the room.So AITA for saying that deaf is a special needs and my son is a special needs?​EDIT: My son believes love is not meant for him due to his disability. He thinks no one would love him for the way he is, which is why I told him that anyone can find love. He has told me consistently that he is forever alone due to his disability. | AITA for telling my son that Deaf is a special needs. | YTA |
110p64i | My wife's sister gave my son some clothing in December. One thing she gave him was a cute shirt. Today we were goofing off in the kitchen and his shirt got messy. I tried to get the stain out, but by the time I had cleaned my kitchen and my child the stain had already set, and the shirt is still wearable but no longer a going out shirt.My wife is upset her sister's gift was ruined and says it was inconsiderate for me to allow this to happen. I say four year olds are four year olds and things happen, and unless something is a dress shirt only worn at formal occasions, there's always a risk is will get messed up. My wife said I wouldn't have let a gift from my own family be ruined, which isn't true, but obviously I have no evidence of this.AITA because I wasn't more careful with my young child's wardrobe? | AITA for letting a gift from my wife's family be ruined? | NTA |
110ug57 | My partner has recently started a new job where he will be working Monday to Friday on shifts. Our daughter has just turned 3 months old. She is our second, our first was stillborn at term just over two years ago and I am still struggling massively and feel as though I’m nothing like my former self. I don’t make an effort with myself and I hardly leave the house, the only time I do I have to talk myself into it for so long and just think it will be good for baby so that’s the reason I’ll go. I’m just lazy and miserable and hating life really and I do feel guilty to my daughter for being this way. (I am still super cheery with her when I have her so hopefully she’s not picking up any bad vibes from me it’s just the not getting outside much) he has a daughter from a previous relationship who is 3. Their current arrangement is tues-thurs one week, and tues-fri the following week alternating. He’s said he’ll try to ask for every other weekend, and the weekends he doesn’t have her, he’ll ask to stick to the current arrangement. this would mean me having to look after her for 9/10 hours a day on those days. I’ve said im not happy to do it and it’s caused a whole load of sh*t. Am I being unreasonable? Should I agree to it? its just not something I want to do, I don’t know if that makes me selfish. I feel like if I was to have that time and energy to do something I’d rather do it for me or my daughter. It feels awful writing it but it’s the truth and how I feelEdit to add: I’ll be returning to my WFH job in the next 3-4 months, so it will not be possible to watch her then anyway. | AITA for not wanting to watch my partners kid? | NTA |
110ryvw | My SIL has been living with us rent free for about half a year now so she can save her money. She found out a few months ago she's going to have a baby and made somewhat of a big deal about no one offering to do a gender reveal party for her when there was a gender reveal party for their other siblings. My wife and her other siblings felt bad about it and went ahead and threw her a gender reveal party at her other sibling's house. It wasn't as planned out as the other gender reveals but we made use of the previous gender reveal's left over decor, made food and played games. Admittedly, this w las a much better party than I could've ever thrown to anyone else and thought she appreciated it.A month or so later, wife and her siblings decided to plan to do a surprise baby shower for her. She wanted to use our house for it this time because our house is a bit bigger so we can invite more of their relatives and more of her friends. My wife knew I'd be against using our house because we always end up doing all the decorations and end up cleaning the mess after. I also told her doing a surprise party for someone else's milestones are never a good idea, but whatever. She said she'll do all the planning and only invite the people closest to her sister. I was okay with that idea and the planning continued.A week or so later, her sister found out we're doing a surprise baby shower for her because she went through her boyfriend's text messages and saw their convos. She then reached out to my wife and told her that she doesn't want us to throw her a baby shower because she wants it a particular way and she doesn't want to be upset if it doesn't turn out the way she envisioned. My wife was shocked by this. I was not.I thought this works out for me as I really didn't want to do all of that work. Until she tells me that she still wants to use our house and use our money for the decoration and the food that her sister chooses. I told her absolutely not because her sisters' ideas of partying includes a lot of alcohol, drama and disrespect to other people's properties and the party would not go far before I tell everyone to gtfo the house.Now she tells her sister this (who is still living with us, btw) and now is upset with me because she has no money to pay for a venue for this event. I suggested using her other sister's house and she complained that she doesn't have the layout that she's envisioned for her party. I said too bad and left it at that as I thought there was no point of arguing with her.My wife agrees with me but she doesn't know if she's being bias since I'm her husband. Her other sibling thinks I'm an asshole because they already did the previous party at their house so it's our "turn." And her pregnant sister obviously thinks I'm an asshole because the house isn't technically in my name and I don't pay the mortgage (I pay for the rest of our bills and food, though, but she doesn't realize that all that adds up costing more than the mortgage) so I shouldn't get to decide.So AITA? | AITA for not allowing my SIL to use our house and contribute to her baby shower after she refused to let my wife plan it? | NTA |
110jweg | Everyone involved is mid-late 20's. My sister's boyfriend recently lost his job and they are not going to be able to pay rent next month. My girlfriend, who I have been dating for a few years, heard about this and told her sister that we could help. For some context, I am the primary earner between me and my girlfriend, and I make about 6x what she does. So when she told her sister that we could help she meant that I would be paying all or almost all of their rent. My gf told me about her promise last night and I said that she was out of line for making that kind of promise without consulting me. I told her that I would be willing to gift her sister a fixed amount of money (3 months rent) on the condition that (1) tell her sister that she was wrong to promise her my money and (2) that her sister and boyfriend ask me personally for help. My gf says that this is unreasonable because it would be humiliating for them to ask me for help and because they are "essentially family" and should be entitled to my help. She will not budge on this issue and neither will I. AITA? | AITA for not helping my gf's sister's rent? | NTA |
110wkse | To start off, I’m the oldest of five kids: one six-year-old boy, a set of twins that are eight (1 F, 1 B), and a thirteen-year-old brother. I am a soon-to-be eighteen-year-old female, and I found out in the worst way possible that they are wanting another child. My parents and I were talking, and as things got heated, my father yelled out that that’s why I got your mother a pregnancy test.I was so furious that they were doing this behind my back for all the other kids. They told me that they were planning another child, so I knew, but this time they were just going to tell me that they were pregnant. All my childhood I spent taking care of the children, and I am even homeschooled now because of my siblings and my parents. I haven’t even had the chance to make any real friends yet (sad, right?). It feels like they are replacing me because I have plans to move out in a year and a half. This is when we are going to buy property. I have been saving so I could buy my own mini home so when my parents buy the land, I have my own home. That way I could make them feel safe that I was close by, but what’s the point of that now if I’m going to have to help with another child? It feels as if they are pushing me to the side because I’ve gotten too old for them. I don’t know what to do. | AITA for not wanting another sibling? | NTA |
110tm9k | I (13F) live with my dad (43M) and brother (11M). I like my brother but and we used to play together when we were younger but sometimes he is mean to me and says he can't play with a girl.I recently started getting regular periods, I don't mind as I am not in pain like I was warned about and I still feel like I can do anything when I have them.However since I started getting them, my dad no longer allows me to use the PS5 and switch and makes me eat after he and my brother do. My brother is still allowed to use them and happy as he no longer has to share. I hate waiting to eat as sometimes they take a long time to finish. On most days I am the one cooking some of the food and I feel really hungry after that but can only eat after it gets cold since I have to wait for them and do their dishes before I can eat.I asked my dad why he made all these sudden changes now and he said that I am becoming a woman and should be proud about it and that in our culture this is tradition. I looked up many things online about his birth country but it does not seem like most people have this tradition today. I told him that and he got angry with me and said I should only use my computer to search for questions I have for school. | AITA for asking my dad why he lets my younger brother do more things than me | NTA |
110ip40 | I (29F) just had my first child (10 months). Before she was born, my husband (30M) and I decided that we didn't want to put her name or face on social media. I have a decent sized following on Instagram, but I knew I didn't want to tell my followers much about her. The internet is a terrifying place and I want her to make her own decisions about how she's presented online. I told all my friends and family that I didn't want her posted. Most people have respected my choices. Except for my sister (32F).My sister has 5 kids and posts them all the time on her public accounts. I told her not to post my daughter at all, and she told me she wouldn't. But one day I was scrolling through my feed, and realized she had posted a photo of her kids holding my daughter. I immediately got angry and told her to take the post down. We got into a fight and she told me she didn't see the big deal. I yelled at her until she took the picture down, but it didn't fix the betrayal I felt. My own sister, disrespecting me like that... I cried for hours. My brother-in-law said I was being a little dramatic about the whole social media thing. My husband said that I'm doing what's right for our family. I don't know who to believe. AITA? | AITA for not putting my kid on social media? | NTA |
110kbgn | Until a year ago I only had one niece. I call her my favorite niece. It's like a joke between us because she is my only niece so naturally she is my favorite. Then my brother remarried and his wife has a daughter who is the same age as my niece. I still call my niece my favorite niece because I'm just used to saying it and seriously I don't feel like this new girl is my niece yet. I barely know her.My SIL called me an asshole a few days ago because apparently I'm hurting her daughter's feelings by saying that. I think she is being overdramatic, her daughter is 14 that's old enough to understand these things I shouldn't have to change my relationship with my niece because of SIL and her daughter | AITA for calling her my favorite niece? | NTA |
110lxgv | I [f19] have an older brother [m28]. He has a wife Kate [f27].When Kate and my brother first got together 5 years ago, Kate always tried to make an effort to spend time with me. She's an only child and keeps saying about how she's always wanted a sister.I like Kate and I think she's lovely but recently I've found being around her very emotionally exhausting and I'm going to give reasons why.Firstly, I'm a student studying to be a pediatric nurse. I'm still in my first year.Kate and my brother had their first baby who's now 7 months old.Kate keeps asking me medical questions about the baby (he was born prematurely), which is fine but many of the questions I don't feel comfortable answering with certainty so I keep telling Kate to ask her pediatrician at their next visit. We live in the UK so medical care costs aren't an issue.Kate seems to understand my point of view but then keeps coming to me with complicated questions again and again.Secondly, I used to visit my brother and Kate's home frequently to chat and socialise but now whenever I visit, Kate insists I do housework, as she's a SAHM and struggles to keep up with chores whilst taking care of the baby. I don't mind lending a helping hand but whenever I visit it feels like Kate is only interested in having me do chores.Lastly, whenever I visit, Kate complains about my mother and insults her. She complains that my mum never offers to babysit or help out with housework even though she lives down the street, and says that my mum works too much and should prioritise her grandbaby, and that she needs a village not an "absent grandparent". I know my mum adores my nephew, but she's a very busy woman and has bills to pay. This is my biggest issue out of everything and what makes me the most uncomfortable as I don't think my mother deserves to be talked about like that. I know I'm biased because she's my mum but still.For all these reasons, Kate has been making me really uncomfortable. I understand that she's a new mother and likely overwhelmed but this has been going on ever since the baby was born. I've tried to talk to Kate about these things but she doesn't really listen and accuses me of not supporting her or trying to destroy her self-esteem..I talked to my brother about it and he said that Kate isn't doing too well mentally and is seeing a therapist and says I should just "smile and nod". It sounds bad but I just don't really want to hear it. I've been avoiding Kate and now she's upset with me and ignores my texts, and has been making passive aggressive Instagram posts about me. My brother said I need to apologise to Kate and start visiting more often again but I don't think I'm the one who needs to apologise. AITA? | AITA for avoiding my SIL and refusing to apologise to her? | NTA |
110yaa1 | I'm a regular at this store and I'll usually pick up snacks anytime after 11pm. The staff know me and the security know me, the cashier guy likes me whenever we interact he's always smiling and asking questions.A neckwarmer I wear over my nose, a beanie that goes over my forehead so you can only see my eyes, black cargos, black sweater, jordan 3s and I havent had a haircut I wear my nike tech hoodie unzipped and throw the hoodie over my hat so it doesnt look oddly shaped. I'm also 6'2 and black so I can understand how people can find it intimidating and ill occasionally pull it down if I walk past women or people with kids just so they completely know im not a threat but most of the time I dont care, Im not going to hurt or steal, this is just how I dress its anti social but its comfortable and works for me. I'm not going to dress to fit in or to make myself seem "less threatening", I dont think I should change how I dress just because I happened to be born into a stereotype where people that look like me do bad spooky things.I get to the store and I walk in, neckwarmer up, security obviously recognizes me and he's watched the cameras everytime I go in, I usually buy the same thing everytime. A guy walks up to me and taps me on hand and says "dont wear the mask respect the store". I said "dont touch me" then I took my headphones off and he said it again, he also said he was the co owner which he wasnt. I said no im not taking my mask off -> not to be a dick the store is empty, all the staff know me it'd be pointless taking my mask off and im quick im not tryna spend 2 minutes shopping at night. <- Security comes and puls this guy away because he knows me and can tell the guy starting what I see as unnecessary problems. He knows I dont steal and there's no problem. After saying no the guy was basically talking shit and non sense he's really annoying me so I talk about his fake watch. I dont think he was actively trying to provoke me but this weird idea that taking my neckwarmer down will somehow change anything is stupid, "but cameras" no one is wasting time looking for a thief that steals £10 worth of chocolate. I have no reason to steal to make that clear to redditors I know yall selectively read which is why your perspectives will be.. interesting.The fact he touched me and then told me to do something that isnt required by law, by the store, there's 0 sign of anyone stealing and the store is basically empty annoyed me as I usually just walk in, no one causes problems and im out. Feel threatened tells security "watch the tall black guy with the mask on", I dont care just dont touch or talk to me lmao. Some people dress "anti social" and you can be cautious that's understandable but it doesn't matter. The banker wearing a suit will steal your pension while smiling in your face and you'll smile back but you're worried about a guy tryna buy some chocolate with a neckwarmer. Too comfortable im keeping it | AITA Man Tells Me To Take My Neckwarmer Down | NTA |
110h11p | My husband and I own a small flat at a nice location public transport wise. It's about 50 sq meters or 540 sq feet. It's a nice size for us as we don't have children yet.I have a little brother, Mark. He is looking to buy a flat for himself, but struggles to find one he likes. So he wants to buy ours and my mom is on his side. They are saying I'm too old to live in such a small flat with my husband, we can afford to buy a bigger one (true) and we will need to upgrade in a few years anyway (also true).Mark would also be able to save a lot of money in fees too if he bought from me, because since we are siblings, I could officially gift him the flat and he could gift me the money. They are making a lot of other points too, like that families need to help each other out.One other thing is that my mom helped us out with the down payment back when we bought this flat. She contributed about 35% of the full price. So maybe I owe them this? Would I be the asshole if I didn't buy a bigger flat for myself? | WIBTA if I didn't buy a bigger flat for myself so my little brother can buy my current one? | NTA |
110q4a5 | I am 26M and I am currently a PhD student at a Canadian university. Yesterday, I was staying on-campus late into the night, trying to get some important work done. It was half-past midnight, and just to relax a little bit, I went outside for a smoke. Admittedly, I was smoking right next to the doors of the building, which is against campus rules. But my brain was so fried that I honestly didn’t notice. I closed my eyes and exhaled deeply, and when I opened my eyes again, I saw that I was exhaling right into some poor bloke’s face. I got really flustered and apologized to him, and he replied “I have a respiratory condition you dumbfuck”. I got kinda pissed off at his insult (I was already pretty tense from a night of hard, tedious work), so I told him to piss off. Things got heated between us, and we kept escalating until we caught the attention of campus security (they were just doing some routine patrols). They helped calm us down, and while I wasn’t fined or disciplined for smoking in a non-smoking zone, the security people told me to be more careful from now on.AITA? | AITA for accidentally blowing smoke into someone's face? | YTA |
110wobf | I (33F) am moving out of the apartment I've shared with my friend (32M) for about 3 1/2 yrs. There has never been any sort of romantic or sexual connection between us. Ever.Quick context: He is an emotionally stunted, codependent mess with a victim complex and only just recently started therapy for some pretty heavy trauma he's been carrying around since his childhood. Related context: He is a seemingly nice guy and will always help when asked and he's quick to offer help and other things when he sees an opportunity, and never without a "No problem, don't worry about it." But then, when HE needs a favor or something that I'm not real feeling up to, he immediately reminds me of all the nice things he's done for me. He's guilt tripped me several times and it's lead me to decline any and every offer he's tried to make in the past couple years because I know what he'll eventually do when he wants something.EDIT to add: I accepted these offers because I was unaware of what he was doing at the time. It was only through that process that I learned that he was using his favors as a sort of currency. I WOULD return those favors when he reminded me of "all the nice things" he's done for me, but once I realized what he was doing, I stopped accepting anything further.So now I've finally found my own place and I'm moving this weekend. Whenever I mention anything about moving things up to my new house, he offers to help. I politely decline, he presses, I keep declining, and he usually ends with a "Well it's an open offer so just let me know." I have not let him help me with any of it so far because I really, really do not want to help him (and I know he'll try to rope me into it anyway). I've been holding his hand for so long and I'm exhausted. I believe he needs to find his own help that isn't his convenient roommate with a vehicle (he doesn't have a car). I feel like I'm just exercising my boundaries but I still feel like a bit of a shithead for it. Am I The Asshole here? | AITA for not letting my roommate help me move because *I* don't want to help HIM move? | NTA |
110qpq5 | So basically I am related to a dictator. I won’t name which one but he is my great uncle. I also share his last name, which isn’t bad because it’s a somewhat common last name where I am from. So it’s not like people hear my name and react like my last name is Hitler or something. Sometimes I will get a “oh (last name) haha, any relation?”.This is a dictator in living history, like my parents generation were affected by it (and the kids of my parents generation, ie my age group). I’m 18 for context. Some people might just find it funny but others would find it genuinely offensive and upsetting, sadly other people think he is super cool and awesome . It’s a very touchy and contentious subject in the community I live. I would not tell random people about this.My friend does however do this. I don’t think he totally understands because he isn’t from the same country as me and probably isn’t as familiar with this dictator or why people of our nationality find him so contentious. My friend will in mid conversation suddenly announce did you know she’s related to (dictator)? and they always turn to me for confirmation. A lot of the time they find it funny so I let it slide but a week ago my friend told one of our teachers, who turned to us and told us that my great uncle put his family members in labor camps. Very awkward. I apologized and said I was sorry and left which felt weird because I don’t really bear any responsibility for the guy. I told my friend to please stop and explained the like. Ethnic tension involved in the subject he may not understand. He seemed to agree so I let it go.The other day I was talking to his friend who is a recent immigrant and he told her and she looked really weirded out and uncomfortable. I told her I don’t like him either and never met the man. After she left I turned to my friend and asked what the hell his problem is and why he finds it so goddamn funny. He seemed to think I was overreacting and I said this is like if you went up to jews and said oh btw this person is related to hitler! like it’s a funny joke when that’s really insensitive. Both me and my friend have a kind of... i wouldn’t describe it as offensive or dark sense of humor but something along those lines, so my friend was pretty surprised I was telling him to stop being insensitive (Even though I literally did that last week!!!) We were hanging outside and I think he was embarrassed other people were there because he refused to apologize and even told someone walking by “She’s related to (dictator)!” all smugly. I told him I was tired of his shit and left and felt bad because he looked hurt but I pretended not to see. I feel kind of bad now because talking to another friend i realized my friend has always had a crass sense of humor and i’ve never told him anything bad about it so this probably came from nowhere and made me seem really sensitive. Idk i’m kind of stubborn so I worry I should be saying sorry here but won’t see it. Was I TA? | AITA for yelling at my friend to stop telling people i’m related to a dictator? | NTA |
110yygf | Throwaway, we're all 24-28. I'm posting because I've got people telling me I was genuinely in the wrong hereSo last week me, my friends 'Alice' and 'Tara', as well as Tara's cousin 'Kate' were meant to go clubbing together. Tara was sick on the day so she couldn't make it, and the 3 of us went. I don't know Kate very well- I've seen her sometimes at Tara's place but that's about it, because she's plain, usually kind of quiet and shy (honestly didn't think clubbing was her thing).I heard Kate got married but I had no idea what her husband looked like. Neither did Alice.After a bit Kate got pretty drunk. She actually didn't have that many drinks but I guess her alcohol tolerance is low. She was having a hard time even standing upright and incoherent, so me and Alice took her to sit down. I thought we could call someone from Kate's phone but it was obviously locked, so Alice called Tara and told her the situation. She said she couldn't come, but she'd text Kate's husband 'Alex'.Now the thing is, we were talking pretty loudly to hear over the music, so anyone around could've heard the info that the drunk girl's name was Kate and her husband's Alex.After a bit a pretty polished, good-looking guy comes up saying he's Alex, Kate's husband. I had a bit of a hard time believing that so I asked if he had any proof? He eventually showed his lock screen, which was a picture of Kate from their wedding, but by herself and he wasn't in it. Alice went to stay that's okay and he can take Kate, but I said I would rather see a photo of them together. He got pissed and eventually managed to show a photo, and after I called Tara to confirm, he and Kate left.I didn't think much of it, but the next day Kate texted (kind of passive aggressive) saying thanks for helping her, but "why the hell I made such a big deal in front of everyone".Tara and Alice are also saying I went overboard but I don't think so.AITA? | AITA for asking a guy for proof when he came to pick up someone at a club? | YTA |
110z14k | My closest friend is getting married in Taormina (Sicily) this August, less than 1 year's notice for the wedding and I was asked to be a bridesmaid. I am starting to feel unappreciated. They are very well off, she doesn't work currently. *I and a few other bridesmaids are coming from Canada and guests from all around the world. (My friend is Canadian but currently living in London, where she met her fiance) 200 people have been invited, my little sister was uninvited because they had to cut down on the guest list. Her fiance will not let her invite the standard 10-15% more than they have room for.*They chose a 5 Star hotel for the venue. I believed they would be taking care of lodging for the bridal party because of the extravagance and location. They said the hotel wanted to charge them extra to book the whole space so we were instructed to book/pay for our own rooms ourselves from Thursday-Monday. I found out there will be a Shabbat dinner the Friday eve but the bridal party is NOT invited because there is not enough space. The chef will only cater to **50** people...I brought up that this felt rude and unappreciative to the bride, and she understood and said her fiance did not think it was important for us to attend. She discussed this with him again and his response was "don't they know how expensive these dinners are? We're already providing a rehearsal dinner"The bride later said her fiance and his family (he is Britsh/Swedish/German) don't do Rehearsal dinners. It is not a part of European culture. Even if it is not a part of his culture, it is *HERS.* Also, this is a destination wedding where guests have to fly in early, would you not provide a dinner for them?She then posted that hair and makeup are available for $200 but not provided for, she is requesting we wear all gold jewelry/shoes. She does not have an itinerary or any other events planned for the bridal party during the 5-day **This wedding will cost between $5,000-8,000 CAD along with 1 week of time off work unpaid.**She does not think she should have to provide anything for the bridal party except the wedding day and that the rehearsal dinner is a gift. The bride and groom do not feel it necessary to make the bridal party/guests feel appreciated and give back. They are also going on a $50 000 safari for part of their honeymoon.I have been heavily involved in the wedding planning and planned out the whole Bachelorette (her sister is the MOH but avoiding duties). I have no problem with this until she expressed that one of her friends said that the bachelorette location is dirty and untasteful. She relayed this to me after I had already planned out the trip. I told her this made me feel unappreciated but at the end of the day it is her wedding and she should do what makes her happy. She did apologize and recognize how that had come across.**AITA?** (My friends and family are telling me not to go) | AITA My Friend Expects Us to Subsidize her 500K Destination Wedding in Sicily | NTA |
110chns | I 21(M) have an acquaintance 21(F) who I go to school with, we have a couple of courses together and are doing group work for some of them and are also in a student club together so we see each other often on campus. We know each other for about a year now.We were working late together on campus on a robot for our student club and when it was time to go home around midnight she asked me to walk her to her car which was parked a 7 minute walk away.I was not comfortable and refused, because I get uncomfortable on those streets at night as there are people who seem to be on drugs who just shout things and talk to themselves. I've never had anyone attack me but it makes me uncomfortable. Additionally she is a young woman and I'm not her boyfriend, I don't know if she has one but if she did, he would probably not approve of it and if could get mad at me. I have had boyfriends of girls I know do this before.The next day she told me she was a little disappointed as she had volunteered to walk with me between two campus buildings and back late at night on a different occarion when I had to fetch something from the other building. She also said that I could have dropped her to the parking and taken a different route to my dorm from there and not have to pass through the sketchy street alone, which is true or I could have taken her offer to drive me home.AITA here? I feel like her volunteering to walk with me is not the same as it was not as bad of a route and I never asked her to do so even if I did take up her offer. And while it's true I could have avoided them after dropping her, I'd still be a little uncomfortable if I encountered weirdos while with her. I don't want this to turn into a big issue as we work well together and I'm hoping to keep doing group projects with her in other classes.EDIT: I'd like to mention that I did tell her the next day that I understood and would help next time, when she told me about it. But I'm just wondering if I was wrong for that day when she asked.EDIT2: I've apologized to her profoundly and said I was being an ass. I'm not an idiot and I know it can be dangerous for women, I would have done it for a friend or my sister but I was being an ass and not considering her to be a friend and more like a stranger I tend to meet often which was clearly wrong of me. | AITA for not walking a school acquaintance to her car at night. | YTA |
110govr | My husband (35m) wants to bring his sister (52f) from a third world country to stay for an undisclosed amount of time and is insisting that because he is organising the visa that she needs to stay with us. Not only do I (30f) have 2 young children, one under a year old, but I've also only been out of the hospital for 2 weeks after a 3 week stay for mental health reasons. My husband has 3 brothers in the same city, 2 of whom do not speak English, and it always falls on me to take care of everything for them like paperwork, registering their children in schools, etc. and this situation with his sister will be no different since she also speaks zero English and doesn't know anyone here besides his/her family.Not only that, but when my son was born, he stayed in hospital for 2 weeks and we didn't know if he'd have brain damage but this sister in law never said congratulations on his birth and then stopped speaking to me for 6 months because I didn't name MY son after HER father. Yes, I'm still salty about it.I've said that after all I've been through recently with my health and all the responsibility I already have, having her stay is too much. He has said she's staying and that's the end, and I've said if she does I'll leave my own home. He has his other brothers she can stay with, so I don't know why this is on me yet again. Am I in the wrong here? | AITA for not wanting my sister in law to stay at my home | NTA |
110v8ae | I (28f) have been with my bf (32m) for close to 5 years now. During our time together, we have discussed going to visit Japan as it is both of our dream trips. We agreed to both save our own money to be able to go. The problem is he isn't good at saving, and I am, so he's convinced me to keep putting it off and putting it off until he has money to go as well, and I agreed. I was set to go in May of this year, but now he wants to do late fall, so I again agreed. I told him as long as he is able to pay his own plane ticket and food, I will do all the accommodation for both of us. I even got a travel credit card that I racked up enough points to use on and told him I'll give it to him so he only has to pay 200-300 for his ticket instead of $1000 or more. It's been 5 years and I'm tired of waiting and putting off my dream trip. I feel I've done all I can to help other then just buying the whole trip for him at this point. If he isn't ready by this fall I think I might just go without him. Would I be the asshole if I were to go by myself when i know how much he wants to go?To be clear I don't make that much money as it is and can't quite afford to pay for everything if I pay for his whole trip as well as mine. | WIBTA for going on bf's dream vacation without him? | NTA |
110y29n | Im (42f) a single mum of 4. I have full custody of my kids, but they recently stay more at their dad's place because their school is closer to his place. Due to this, they spend the weekends and any holidays with me, and that's when I wash/ do their hair. My 2nd daughter (17f) has much curlier than her sisters, so hers has to be in protective styles most of the time because she can't do her hair on her own although I've tried my best teaching her how to.The past few weeks, she has been very disrespectful not only towards me but also to her younger siblings too. She threw paper arts of her little sister, called her younger brother names and just being very problematic, and she doesn't watch to talk about it I've been telling her to wash her hair for a week but she kept ignoring while being on her phone and I did tell her I wasn't going to braid her hair on Sunday since I was going to be busy. She didn't listen anyway and washed her hair on Sunday afternoon not even morning, expecting I was going to braid her hair anyways like I always did, but I refused because I've been telling her to wash her hair the entire week and she chose not to listen so this was a punishment, she started crying calling me a selfish mom and I kinda felt bad but it was 9pm and their dad was gonna pick them up in minutes so I suggested to do just the fronts but he came right after that. I braided 2 fronts for her, but she was not happy at all and said i punish her unfairly when I still suggested doing her hair anyway. Was my punishment unfair and AITA? | AITA for not doing my daughter's hair for school as a punishment? | NTA |
110k5en | I (22f) have schizophrenia and so I decided not to drink alcohol until I was 21. It’s a pretty high addiction risk statistically. I never went to a party. I got my first boyfriend when I was 21 because I had to work through some unhealthy attitudes about sexuality that I had from early childhood events. I also couldn’t afford birth control back then and it’s not 100% effective anyway. My family claims that I “wasn’t a normal teenager” because of this. Recently our family friend (also 22f) recently got married and had a baby (1m), and has one (5f) from a previous relationship. My parents said that I’m “just a kid” compared to her because she is married with two kids and I’m still single. I said that being single doesn’t equal immaturity. They made comments like this in the car on the way to her son’s birthday party. I asked them if they were going to comment on how she doesn’t have her degree when we celebrate my graduation next year. They said that that was an offensive comment. I said why, it’s “just stating a fact” when it’s directed at me. They said “that’s different” and “you’ll understand when you’re older.” We both moved out at 21 and I temporarily moved back at 22 after developing schizophrenia. Her parents send her money constantly to help with bills and in fact she gets more financial support than me. I was given 6k in tuition assistance from my family over my entire adult life and she was probably given at least 20k, plus free babysitting. Nothing wrong with that but if accepting help doesn’t make her less of an adult, it doesn’t make me less of an adult either. Whenever I point out that she’s not fully supporting herself and her family either, I get accused of “shaming her” but apparently it’s “just stating a fact” that I don’t fully support myself.We’re both adults. She chose marriage and family, I chose to focus on my career. And yes she has more responsibilities than me but voluntarily deciding not to take on responsibilities you don’t want doesn’t make someone less adult. | AITA for accusing my family of favoritism and for infantilizing me because I’m disabled? | NTA |
110ncpr | Hello,I (29m) don't use my full name. Let's say I am "Tim". Even as a kid when I was in trouble my mom would call me "tim", I was almost never "timothy". As I have described it to everyone, calling my "Timothy" is like shouting out my social security number. Sure it technically applies to me, but it's more a government identifier than an actual name to me. My fiance "Terra"(27) would call me "Timothy" anyways. I would respond as I do to anyone else who calls me that and call her "terrathy" (I've called my sister "tiffanyothy", it's the universal you add stuff to my name I'll do the same) she later let it slip she was calling me that on purpose. She knew i hated it but thought it was cute and liked being terrathy. So instead I started responding with government identifiers. She'd call me Timothy and I'd respond back with her date of birth or drivers license number. (Never in public) She sometimes is non reactive. Other times mildly annoyed, other times very upset and states she never should have told me it was on purpose. I've explained I hate "Timothy" multiple times but she keeps doing it, then getting upset that I don't respond the way she wants. She lectures me on not respecting her boundaries, but I feel like I'm the one not having their boundaries respected. Especially as instead of calling me by my name, she just laments being honest with me. As I protest she says "Timothy is your name". She used to say "its on your drivers license, so its what i call you" hence my use of numbers. Am I the one in the wrong here? | AITA for using government identifiers? | NTA |
110jdxj | My wife (39F) and I (49M) decided to replace our 20 year old fridge with a bigger one that was pricey at $1600. We have two young children so we needed the larger fridge. Once it was delivered we were happy with the stainless steel look and more space, our children were excited for it too!! Fast forward a two days later after its delivery I noticed a 2 inch crack at the bottom of the fridge liner, look liked someone stepped on it and you can see some of the foam insulation underneath. I got super angry because it was just not a new & pricey appliance but that no one in my house told me about it. I initially thought it was one of my children that caused the crack by standing on the liner to reach for something inside. That could have been more forgivable because children make mistakes however... When I showed the crack in the fridge liner to my wife she said she did it and I was like... HOW?!?!! She told me she placed her knee on the liner while reaching in to remove excess packing tape inside and said it was an accident. I was super pissed because it was brand new and the crack will always be there even after we hope to patch it with cooler tape soon. My wife and I have a history of not be able to have nice things in the house. From her cats destroying an expensive $2000 leather couch and not doing anything to repair or clean it that was eventually thrown out to not keeping her new car clean. My wife apologized and feels terrible about it but still it doesn't make me feel better that we can't keep something new in good shape for a week! It's a day later and I'm still angry but tried to tell her its 'just a fridge' and our marriage & family is more important but that I'm not going to buy another nice thing again. So AITA for being upset that something nice & expensive gets damaged by a careless accident? | AITA for being VERY upset a family member damaged new expensive fridge? | YTA |
110p9ep | I met my friend at the bar yesterday to get a beer and catch up because I haven’t seen in her months. Shortly after we got our drinks a unknown man approached us. He said “hey ladies I hate to do this to you but I’ll have to kick you both out because I’m having my birthday party here and the party is starting now” I looked around the bar and I seen a few other women there. I asked the man “why do we have to get out but the other women can stay?” He said those women are his family and they came for the party. Since my friend and I are not family or friends of his then we have to get out of the bar. My friend asked him if he is the owner or the manager. He said he isn’t either one but he didn’t want strangers being at the bar during his birthday party. My friend left, but I chose to stay and finish my beer since I paid for it. I also ordered another beer before leaving. That man called me an asshole for not leaving after he asked me nicely. I didn’t care though. | AITA for not leaving the bar? | NTA |
110h0d0 | I am a mom of 3 and have 5 siblings. Every year, my husband, I and my siblings, and their spouses go on vacation together in late January-early February, this year was no different, we also go on vacation in July when the kids are on summer break. One of my siblings, my sister, Anna, has 2 boys, ages thirteen and ten.I love my sister and her family, but her ten-year-old, Dylan, has massive behavioral problems, including being a compulsive liar. I am friends with Dylan’s teacher, as we teach in the same school and teach the same grade. I have seen Dylan’s behavior at school and it truly is atrocious and can attest to everything his teacher says about his behavior. My sister however thinks his teacher is “naive” and “probably easily manipulated” and uses me talking about teacher burnout to justify that stance. Some of Dylan’s behaviors have included stealing gifts from his older brother that one of his friends gave him to “prove” they traveled to the Philippines, lying about how many siblings he had, and is the poster boy of the kid who says stuff like “my dad works at Apple and I have an iPhone 15”. Dylan also has an incredibly cruel streak and recently got in trouble for being mean to a boy for painting his nails. When his teacher found out about this, she questioned him and he gave a story that was provably false due to the details he gave of where people were at the time (I can verify that his story is impossible). My sister is in denial that her son is homophobic because he hasn’t been mean to one of our nephews (15), who is gay. Her and her husband genuinely seem to believe that since he doesn’t make any homophobic comments at home, his teacher must be “falling for other kid’s propaganda”.A few days ago, after we got back from the trip, my sister posted about it in a local mom’s Facebook group, she went on about how the vacation was nice, but also how Dylan needed it so badly because he’s “misunderstood” at school and went on about how the education system is “toxic” and how kids these days “always lie to teachers” and how Dylan is a victim of other kid’s entitlement. When I saw the post, I immediately called my sister and asked her to take it down, she refused just saying she was “giving her two cents on life” and suggested I was being “manipulated” by other kids to. I told her if she didn’t take the post down, that I would not go on another family vacation and I would limit the amount of family events I went to. My sister was very upset by this and went to other family members to share, they’re trying to help us “work it out” and some have suggested that I’m in the wrong and shouldn’t be “policing my sister’s views”, but others are taking a more firm stance against her. I don’t know how to feel, I love my sister but I also know she holds false beliefs about her son’s teacher, she seems to genuinely think he isn’t lying, because “he knows it’s safe to tell us the truth”. AITA? | AITA for giving my sister an ultimatum? | NTA |
110w8c6 | Me (15 f) and my step mom (40 f) got in to a argument the other day I was getting worked up. So i went into another room and started rocking my self back and forth to calm myself down. She came after and kept yelling then all of a sudden said “if you really were autistic which you are not since I work with kids that are autistic then why didn’t you show signs when you were younger. I was having a hard time trying to calm myself cause I’m sensitive loud noises. I replied “Autism can often be missed diagnosed as ADHD which I was and symptoms can often show more when puberty starts” she started yelling I was faking it for attention and other stuff so I yelled “can you please stop yelling at me” I been getting at lot of backlash from yelling and I feel really bad so Aita?(Step mom works with special need kids) | AITA for yelling at my step mom after she said I don’t have autism | NTA |
110na5p | I (M22) Have been seeing my partner (M25) for almost a year. I've been reluctant to tell my family about my relationship because of my moms religion. For context, I was raised LDS (Mormon) until I was 18 where I ended up leaving and coming out to my family as gay. I got a pretty neutral reaction of "I'll always love you" etc but still receive judgement for things such as drinking, getting a tattoo, or other small acts that go against the religious doctrines. Anyway, yesterday my mom showed up at my apartment (an hour away from her place) and started yelling at me that I've been lying to her and how untrustworthy I am now. I told her that I never wanted to lie to her I just felt uncomfortable telling her about my relationship with a man because of her religious beliefs. She started making comments about how i'm using her religion against her and just because the religion spews hate doesn't mean she is. I tried to explain that the principle of her still giving them money is still hard for me to swallow knowing the stuff they say about me being gay. She ended up saying some stuff that rubbed me the wrong way such as; "You don't get to use my religion against you when I don't use you going to hell against you" which I feel like validated my feelings that there are unspoken feelings about how she feels about my sexuality. I ended up just ending the conversation and sending her away. For some more context, my mom was in a super toxic marriage where she was getting cheated on for 20+ years without ever knowing. So I understand where some of the insecurity with people lying to her comes from but I still can't shake the feeling of the religious hatred still being tied to her. There was a lot more said back and forth about me lying and me saying it was due to religion I just simply didn't feel comfortable telling her about it. AITA for kicking my mom out of my apartment and using religion as an excuse for not telling her about my relationship. | AITA for not telling my mom about my relationship? | NTA |
1110f5a | My (M25) girlfriend’s (F24) new hobby is interrogating me about the most bizarre hypothetical situations before we go to sleep. I usually try to refuse but she keeps whining and bugging (poking, prodding, hitting) me until I answer. If my answer doesn’t satisfy her/is not romantic enough/is a joke she will be upset and cold with me for the next day.Last night, she asked me if we were hypothetically stranded on an island and she was roasted in a forest fire and was the only edible thing left on the island, what body part of her would I consume first to survive. I told her I wouldn’t eat her because that’s disgusting, but she kept whining and telling me to “just answer the question.”I finally lost it and told her that I was not going to answer and that she could have fun entertaining these hypothetical scenarios in her head while she sleeps tonight, because I wouldn’t be around to talk to her. I left to go sleep on the couch.She hasn’t talked to me all of today and even started crying when I tried to initiate a conversation. Now I feel pretty bad and maybe I was being too petty by insisting on not answering her. AITA? | AITA for refusing to tell my girlfriend what body part of her I would eat? | NTA |
110td60 | My husband and I have been together 20 years, and he has a daughter who recently turned 18 years old with someone else (that's a whole other story) and we have 3 kids together. He's always paid voluntary child support for his daughter and gone above and beyond when asked for anything. He simply never told her or his BM no (no court order needed). For her 18th birthday and as an early graduation present he bought her a car. I asked how her grades were and if she had a license since he was buying it months before graduation. He said fine, and yes. Anyway, when he met up with his daughter and BM to buy her car, she informs him she doesn't have a license. So instead, he paid cash for a car and put it in his BM name. After they have the car, he asks to see the report card and finds out a few hours later that his daughter dropped out in 11th grade and had been lying. I told him that he should stop sending her money, as it should only continue while she's in school since she's grown and chose to drop out. Every text he receives now is for money. We are not rich at all, but she asks for $50-100, at least 4 times a week for nails, hair, vacation, movies, gas, etc and I just found out he's sending it each time she asks, even though he told me it would only be for emergencies. I understand supporting your child while they're in school and working towards something, but that's not the case. AITA??? | AITA for telling my husband to stop giving his daughter money? | NTA |
110iyv2 | My (25F) parents (55M and and 55F) started going through the divorce process several months ago. They weren't getting along for many years, but my mom presented my dad with divorce papers last year and they are still battling some things out. However, my mom began a relationship with someone else very soon (like within a span of 2-3 weeks) after giving the divorce papers, which may mean she was having an affair and seeing this guy well before separating from my dad. My siblings and I have confronted her about it, and she denies having an affair, but the timeline seems really fast and it seems strange that she would already have a boyfriend pretty much instantaneously after an almost 30 year marriage. I genuinely do not know the truth but my dad has been pretty depressed due to this for the better part of last year. He has lost 30 pounds due to not eating and is now at an unhealthy weight, and honestly whenever I talk to him he doesn't seem like the same person. He has been going to a lot of therapy recently and I do notice him getting a little better, but I'm very worried about him because I know he is suffering from depression. I call him about 2x a month to check in on him.The last time I called my dad, he mentioned that this February is going to be very hard for him, since it's his first Valentine's Day without my mom, and she's already going to be spending Valentine's with someone else. After we talked, I felt really bad for him and decided to order him flowers to be shipped to him on Valentine's Day. I chose a local flower shop that's close to where he lives, and picked out a classy looking bouquet with blue and white flowers and added a card that just basically said that his family loves him and that I hope he has a good Valentine's Day. I hope that these brighten his day because I know it's been rough for him.I told my boyfriend (26M) about this yesterday, and showed him a picture of the bouquet I ordered for my dad. However, my boyfriend seemed upset. When I asked him what was wrong, he basically told me that he felt uncomfortable that I was getting another man flowers on Valentine's Day. But like, this "other man" is my DAD. I'm really confused by this because I don't think Valentine's Day necessarily just has to be for romantic love, I also usually do a "Galentine's Day" with friends a couple days before, and in grade school it used to be pretty common to give out candy and cards to friends. I told my boyfriend this and he says that it's still a weird thing to do, and that my dad probably would be weirded out by the flowers too. Plus, my bf knows that we have dinner plans at a romantic restaurant for Valentine's, and I plan to also get him red roses, so it's not like I'm putting my dad over him or anything, just sending flowers to know I'm thinking of him. Is this weird? AITA? | AITA for ordering flowers for my dad for Valentine's Day? | NTA |
110saw4 | This situation is between me (31 M) and my sis (Jan, fake name. 35 F). In my opinion, Jan is a burnout narcissist. Never held a job down for more than a year, dropped out of college three times, and is a single mom to 3 kids. She is a leech. My parents and grandma pay for her 3 bedroom apartment because none of them want her to live with them. She does not pay a single one of her bills either, and ubers around in a car that, again, she does not pay for to make pocket money.My grandma owns a really nice 6-bedroom house. My grandpa built it himself nearly 30 years ago and made sure it was modernized before he died 2 years ago. Originally, he wanted my uncle and mom to either sell it or for one of the grandkids to take it. Right before he died, Jan had her 3rd kid. Seeing as the only other grandkid besides me has their own house and I'm well off enough to afford my own roof, They decided once grandma dies Jan will get the house.I never liked this arrangement, as I knew Jan will just trash the house once she got it. However, I've kept the peace. It's been incredibly hard though because Jan has made it incredibly clear she is counting down the days till grandma dies and she can move out of her apartment into a house. At one point she literally tried to talk my parents into putting grandma into assisted living, despite grandma still being able to walk 4 miles each morning for the last decade.So, last week grandma's house had a fire incident. Nothing major, Grandma only suffers minor injuries and the repairs to the house are fairly straightforward. Grandma still ended up in the emergency room for smoke inhalation though. Me, my uncle, my mom ll rushed to the hospital to make sure she was ok. Jan came later as well, but the first thing she asked was if the house was ok. She did not even talk to grandma till after mom told her about the state of the house. This pissed me off, so I decided to just ask her if she is really that self-centered and that she was more worried about the house than grandma. This ended in us fighting and my mom escorting Jan out. My uncle and grandma were both livid at this as well. I told grandma that if there was any justice in the world, Jan would not get that house and my uncle agreed with me. We dropped it once my mom returned, but Jan had left without even asking grandma how she was doing.I did not think this would lead to anything. However, my parents are livid right now because Grandma has told my uncle and mom she is planning to go over her will and is reconsidering leaving the house to Jan. She said she will either leave it in a trust for me and my uncle's kid or sell it and split the money fairly between everyone. My parents and Jan are livid and saying I used the moment to steal the house. My uncle and his family think the new arrangement is good. | AITA for blowing up at my sister while grandma was in the hospital, and getting grandma to reconsider her will? | NTA |
110y1rc | So this happened a few months ago so you’ll have to bear with me.Two days before I had my son, my husband and I had to go grocery shopping so we stopped at Walmart. Now with me coming to the end of my pregnancy I had put on quite a bit of weight and my baby was sitting on my spine; due to that I couldn’t walk very far or long without being in a world of pain for the rest of the day and possibly the next. When my husband dropped me off at the door so I wouldn’t have to walk through the parking lot I went and got a scooter, right behind me came a fairly large older man who told me to get off of it after I had just sat down and got situated. I told him I couldn’t and that I’m 39 weeks pregnant and can’t walk for longer than a few minutes without pain. He stood there arguing with me and insulting me, calling me a “whore” and saying my baby would never be raised right with a teen mom(I’m not a teen), all over the scooter for a minute or so which got the attention of an employee who then told him that there were more at the other entrance. This is where my husband comes in and at this point I’m crying mostly because of hormones but also because I don’t do good with confrontation, my husband finally told him to fuck off in less or more words and consoled me. A woman who I’m guessing was his wife was staring me down the whole time and glaring. When we finished off our shopping and went to check out the same man ended up behind me and was saying the same things about me under his breath. And when I took “too long” to move forward when it was our turn to pay he rammed into the back of my scooter throwing me forward which seriously hurt my back. Luckily my baby is fine now but was I the asshole? I’m seriously doubting myself here. | AITA for using an electric scooter in Walmart? | NTA |
110w9in | I, <34> female, have a very complicated relationship with my nephew's father, 34 male. A little background, he was with my sister for many years, on again off again before my sister got pregnant with my nephew. My nephew's dad, lets call him Jay, didnt want my sister to keep the baby and insisted she abort him. After much deliberation, my sister went ahead and kept her baby. This is where things start to get messy. My mother started to date and later got engaged to Jay's father, making Jay not only my sister's baby daddy, but also my step brother. Honestly the whole lot if them needed to be on jerry springer imo. At this point Jay is telling my sister that the baby isnt his and refused to sign the birth certificate. The baby took my sisters last name, and even after all the paternaty tests came back conclusive that he was the father, Jay did not sign the birth certificate. Pan foward to march 7th 2022.My sister passed away suddenly. All this time my sister and nephew were living with my mum and stepdad <Jay's dad>. My nephew is special needs non verbal autistic and needs round the clock supervision even though he is, at this point, 11 almost 12 years old. Jay took up custody since my sister passed away, stating he was happy he no longer needed to pay chils support. My mom, stepdad and nephew moved in with me on the day my sister passed away since i knew my mother could not stay in the house my sister passed away in. They have been and still live with me almost a year later. Jay Sees his son, monday tues and wed evenings for dinner and bedtime. He then drops him off back at my place. I keep him duing the day, before and after school before he picks him up on those three days. I keep my nephew from thirsday at 6am to friday at 530 pm then jay will pick him up for dinner and bed. He will then, drop him back off sometime on saturday where i will have him ubtil monday at 530. Now Jay is engaged to a woman who does not want kids. He takes her on trips and outtings but he leaves his son with myself or my mother. When asked if his future wife understands that she is going to be a mom Jay's only reply was oh yeah she wants His son to be part of the wedding, effectively dodging the question. I asked Jay to give up his parental rights out of fear that he will put my nephew in a group home. Because my sister didnt have any will, we dont have any legal recourse to stop such an event from happening until he turns 18 when we can petition the courts for conservitorship. So am i the asshole? Ps i know it is a little hard to follow. | AITA for telling my nephew's dad to hand over custody of his son. | NTA |
110ogzb | My youngest sister(YS) is looking into going to college with the goals of becoming a high school history teacher. My brother in law(BiL) and sister(OS) are trying to convince her to go to the same private religious college he went too. This college is going to end up around $145k for a 4 year degree. He went to this college fully paid for by is wealthy grandparents. My parents have never been financially able to assist with any of my siblings college. So the loans would be almost entirely private loans. My parents have been trying to get her to rethink that college because of the debt she would have to carry for 20-30 years being crippling with the income of a history teacher in our state. Loan payments would be about 1.2-1.5k per month for between 20-30 years. The average income for that profession in my state is about $50k. She does not have a good grasp of how debt and interest works, but my BiL says she should go if she wants too. I tried to have a private conversation with my BiL about the concerns the family has. In that conversation I learned he has never actually taken debt and was unaware of how interest effects loans. The whole situation has caused a rift in the family as we are trying to convince her to check into other options but my OS and BiL keep telling her that “God will find a way”. My BiL and OS have almost completely stopped having anything to do with the rest of the family and have convinced my YS that she will be brainwashed by liberals at other colleges. I don’t care where my sister goes, but she is currently being suggested to take on a long term crippling debt. AITA for trying to guide her away from that amount of debt? | AITA for stepping in on my sisters college plans? | NTA |
110shnn | Two of my friends (let's call them Connor and Alice) and I are getting together tonight and having pizza for dinner. Alice eats more than anyone I know (she is an athlete with an insane metabolism and eats a lot in one sitting). Whenever we have shared pizza in the past, Alice ends up eating what is probably more than her fair share simply because she is so hungry. She also only ever wants pepperoni pizza, which I'm not a huge fan of. I prefer chicken and veggie pizzas, which no one else ever wants, so I often begrudgingly agree to eat pepperoni when I'd much rather be eating something else.I asked Alice, who is ordering the pizzas, if Connor and I could split a large pizza so that I could get my preferred toppings, he could get his, and Alice could get a medium pepperoni all to herself. She responded by asking if we could instead split an extra large for all three of us. I don't want to do this because:* Alice would undoubtedly order pepperoni for half, which Connor and I don't particularly like, meaning she'd get half the pizza all to herself. She is pretty picky and often does not want anything besides pepperoni, so Connor and I wouldn't get nearly as much pizza for ourselves this way.* This would also mean that Connor and I would have to compromise on the other half, when I really just want my darn chicken and veggie pizza and I know Connor won't go for it (he is mostly vegetarian), meaning I'd have to once again give up my preferred toppings to appease the rest of the group.I doubled down and was a bit insistent that we do it the way I suggested, explaining that I rarely got to order my preferred toppings and that this way everyone would get what they wanted. Alice seemed a bit put off that I suggested it but seemed to reluctantly agree. She is a bit short on cash right now, but the price difference is pretty minimal--it's $20 for her to get a medium pepperoni for herself, whereas it would be around $15-17 for half of an extra large (that she would definitely end up eating half of herself), so it's really only a difference of a few bucks.AITA for suggesting we do it this way? I'm realizing that Alice may have been under the impression that we'd split the extra large three ways, but I don't think she necessarily realizes that she often eats a lot more than everyone else and it would be more fair for her to pay for more pizza since she tends to eat bigger portions. | AITA for insisting that my friend--who is a big eater--pay for more food than everyone else? | NTA |
110zxse | My BF (M25) and I (F23) have been living together for about 3 years now. We are both messy people, him more so than me. Recently, I've been trying to change that and have been making an effort to clean the house more often. I do most of the housework and cook, all I ask him to do is the dishes, take out the trash, and clean the litter box. He hates doing the dishes because normally he waits until the sink is full or we literally have no more dishes, and consequently it takes a long time. I pointed out to him a few weeks ago if he does the dishes every day, the load won't be so big and it won't take as long. (we do not have a dishwasher.) The other day, I texted him from work in the morning and asked if he could make dishes, as I don't want to dirty more dishes making dinner when there is already a sink full. I came home, and the dishes were not done. I got pretty frustrated since that was the only thing I asked him to do, and he couldn't be bothered. I told him I won't make him dinner unless the dishes are done, so he can do them now or spend his own money on takeout. He got mad and told me he didn't appreciate me "blackmailing" him, but I don't believe I was. Regardless, AITA? | AITA for "blackmailing" my boyfriend? | NTA |
110saf3 | Normally in my home it is me (F41), hubby (M38) and daughter (24) who is attending school for her masters degree. He have a super chill and quiet home. My hubby and I have been together for 17 years and I love his family very much and we get together usually at our home (we are centrally located for all) as much as possible will everyone’s busy lives. My BIL has been in the hospital for 3 months and has been released and has moved in with us to get his life back together and continue with PT/OT. On his first weekend at our home at about 11AM my FIL and his wife, my other BIL his wife and 2 (extremely well behaved) kids and the BIL staying with us ex-wife and their 2 (very unruly and horribly behaved) children all came to the house. As the day went on the hubby ran to the store and bought supplies and we made a big meal and had great family time. At 8:30PM when everyone was leaving the house my other BIL says to my hubby “since we will be coming here every weekend now let us know what we can bring food wise to help out so you guys don’t have to do it all.”While I appreciated him thinking of it and making the offer after they were all gone I had a chat with my hubby that is was NOT ok for them all to come to the house every weekend. I told him that I totally understood why they had visited my BIL in the hospital as much as possible but that he was “out of the woods” now and much better (obviously since he was released) so they did not need to come and fawn over him for HOURS every weekend. We had already given up a lot to bring him in but I was not willing to give up all my off time playing hostess to a house full of people. | AITA for telling my hubby his family can’t come over regularly? | NTA |
110pbfh | I am not sure if i am the asshole in this situation or not. I had surgery with general anastesia on Dec 19 and the expected full recovery time was 6 weeks.The first week i was extremely weak. I could barely put my clothes in the washingmachine and i got super tired and it hurt. I could not get out of bed/the couch for more than a couple of minutes. I was very weak, but that was expected. I told my family (who live 10-15 mins away from me) and my bf (who lives with me) that im not gonna be able to do anything other than sleep, eat and pee for 1-2 weeks. I was doing better after about 10 days. Within those 10 days i barely got support from my family. And you have to know that my mom works 5-10 hrs a week and the rest have flexible hours and noone works more than 8 hrs. My mom came to visit once to bring me lunch and walk my dog. My aunt bought me food once as well. And thats it. My bf is the only one that works a lot. But he knew about my surgery 1 month in advance. And normally (before we go on vacation for example) he schedules his work so that he is able to go. So he could have easly worked 30 mins more per day in that month and therefor come home earlier after my surgery in order to hlep me. To at least walk the dog. Also at the end of the year he normaly doesnt have that much to do so he could have come home earlier. In the ten days he didnt go to the grocery store to buy me food. Or make me food. Or do the laundry. He left for the gym at 7 and came from work at 7 in the evening. He made me tea once. I wanted to change the bed linen once, but only had the energy to take everything off. I asked him to pot the fresh linen on, but he didnt feel like it and only put it on the matress and not the pillows and blanket. I asked him once to hang the clothes and when i woke up in the morning they were still in the washing machine. And so forth.I always had the feeling that i was quite close to my family. I went to visit them twice a week (aunts fam, my parents and grandparents all live next to eachother). But in the 10 days (keep in mind that 4 of those days it was holidays so they were at home) my mom visited me once and my aunt only droped the food at my place. My dad called me once to check up on me and thats it. So i told them that i felt like noone cared and that they didnt show any support or help me in those 10 days. That i didnt even have groceries to try to make something to eat (i had eggs, but no milk, bread, meat...). I also told my bf that he didnt do anything in that time to help me and eventually both of us (with the dog, cleaning...).they all felt attacked and said that they did help out and kindof gaslighted me in a way. So now i doubt myself if i overreacted, but i am 90% confident that i am not the asshole in this situation. | AITA for confronting my family for not helping me | NTA |
110x8u2 | I was married to my ex wife for 12 years and we had 4 kids together. She decided to pursue another relationship completely turning our world upside down. She lied the whole time and was not a good mom. After the divorce, I got the kids and she takes the minimum visits with them. Fast forward to now, I am remarried and very happy. My wife and I have a newborn together now as well as 4 children from her previous relationship. Recently, my parents have had my ex over to visit and invited her to come to their church when she has the kids. I have made it perfectly clear that this woman was terrible and wrecked my life. To be clear, I have the kids 12 out of every 14 days. The last 2 years we were married she hated my family and would not go around them. Also my mom has very much made it clear that she only cares about the original 4.At this point, I think I would prefer to just not associate with my parents anymore. AITA for being mad at my parents?Extra note: I will not keep the kids from my parents, I'm just upset with them for doing these things and trying to keep it secret, I am finding these things out after they happen.TLDR: Ex-wife put me through the worst time in my life, my parent's continue to have a relationship with her anyway. | AITA for being mad at my parents for their continuing to be friendly with my ex? | NTA |
110r8g1 | I've had this doll now 23 years, in the box untouched millennium edition barbie doll that's now worth several hundred dollars. It was left on top of a bookshelf her kids climbed despite being told multiple times to not touch it, proceeded to open it, rip the hair out, shred the dress and shatter the ornament that came with the doll.When I asked her to replace it she tried telling me that clearly I should have taken it with me and that I left it where her kids could get it, however the suspected girl is almost 10 years old, she knows not to touch things and chose to do so anyway.AITA For thinking I am justified for asking for the replacement doll or the value of said doll at the midway mark for cost since the box was dinged?&#x200B;EDITED TO ADD:I left the doll at my mother's until I found stable housing and would have the room to transport it home. I only have a little car and most times I go they fill it up with other things to bring home. I was finally able to get it this weekend..Or was going to. | AITA for asking my sister in law to replace a collector's doll? | NTA |
110nuwy | Long story short, I grew up with a single mom who was mentally abusive and unsupportive. I used to have dreams of attending university and she'd dismiss me and tell me to just work at McDonalds.Cut to now, I'm an adult that has somehow managed to build a portfolio of work extensive and good enough that when I decided to apply for a university just to see what would happen and I got in. When I got my acceptance letter I broke down in tears. I called my mom and she seemed mildly excited. I was really hoping I'd get some celebration, being the first person in my family to get into a degree program, but it wasn't any of that. I told her about the worries I had, being that I obviously don't have money and Id have to quit my job at least for a little just to be able to attend my first semester, so I was looking into student loans. I couldn't get any because of finding out that she took credit under my name, and I told her I needed a cosigner. I told her I was nervous and that I was thinking of not accepting this semester which was approaching very quick. She took it upon herself to reassure to me that it'd be fine, just pursue and she'll make it work. I trusted her, so I did.She wasn't able to be my cosigner, so then she reached out to my family, and they didn't want to do it either. At this point I was already at my first week of school and extremely worried about what to do. I kept asking her what's going on, what's happening, and she would say she's working it out and to keep going. I started to get distracted in school and all I could think about was how stressed I was. I talked to financial aid people and they were willing to help, but the history that my mom created with my credit wasn't good at all. I told her all of that, and suddenly she went completely cold on me, and stopped answering me completely. I texted her saying how stressed I was and how I needed her to respond or at least provide me with some information, or just be a mother and be there for anything, but she didn't. Suddenly one day, I get a text from her that says 'I love you, just wanted you to know, if you need anything from me I'm here', and I kind of flipped out. I said 'I'm pursuing something I've dreamed off for so long that by complete chance they let me do, and I went to you for help already, and you completely ignored me, what am I supposed to say to this?' and once again she completely went cold on me. I started feeling scared about my options and I texted again in a few days saying, 'I seriously can't believe you're doing this to me, I don't understand.'I just got nothing from her. At this point I'm stressed about having quit my job, I'm worried I'm not going to do well in school, so I sent a couple of texts along the lines of 'this is absolutely crazy, you've done so much to ruin my life already, and I think you should see someone about this,' 'I hate you for always making things difficult for me and never helping'. And now we're still not talking. | AITA for cutting off all communications with my mom and telling her I hate her? | NTA |
1110wnn | So I(23f), recently got together with some of my best friends after one of my friends passed away. We all hung out after not seeing each other after for awhile and since I am the only one who has a big enough space for everyone, I offered to have everyone over and we could order in food. My husband and I aren’t rich by any means but we live comfortably. After discussing with the group we ordered pizza and Chinese food from a separate place and we ended up footing the bill for everyone which cost us over $150 easily. They offered to pay, but it was late and we were tired and mourning the loss so we told everyone not to worry about it. 2 weeks later, we had my friends (15 people) over again and this time I decided that to cut costs for everyone I would cook at home. I made a lovely meal and no one offered to chip in money which was fine by me and I was happy to just cook and hang out with everyone. This Saturday my friends wanted to go out with me and invited my husband as well, to a restaurant and we ate delicious food and had a nice time. At the end of the meal everyone decided to split the bill evenly since we all shared the appetizers and everyone’s entrees were similar prices. I asked them if they would cover my husband and my portion bc we had paid for the last 2 meals between all of us (our total together was about 40$ so they would have been paying under 10$ each assuming the couples were paying together) and one of my friends refused and started to get really upset that I would even suggest it. She said that is was unfair because her and her boyfriend are unemployed currently and we have enough money to cover our share. I reminded her once again that we had covered the last 2 meals free of cost and she stood her ground and my other friends agreed with her. My friend got pretty hostile and we ended up walking out on them, leaving them with our bill but we did personally give the waiter a tip on our way out. It’s been a few days and I’m still receiving some upset texts from my friends and now I feel like I should have just sucked it up….. AITA? | AITA for not paying for my share for food? | YTA |
110v41g | I 17m brought some donut holes home at my mothers request. I got a box of 25 and ate 2 and gave one to my mother. I left the box of donuts on the counter when I got home and called my sister 12f to inform her we got donuts. I headed downstairs for 2 hours, but when I came back up I noticed the box of donuts in the trash can. My mother was downstairs in the home theater watching a movie, and my father is on a strict low sugar diet, so I came to the conclusion that my sister had eaten all the donuts. I went upstairs to her room and asked her where all the donuts are. At first, she tried to pin it on our mom, saying “look at her weight, she probably ate it”, when I called her out on it she admitted that she had eaten all the donuts, except the powder sugar ones because she didn’t like them (nobody does, they make mouth dry). I started talking about how unhealthy it was (roughly 90g of sugar and 990 calories in one sitting), and she defended by saying that she didn’t eat the powdered ones (because they are unhealthy because of the extra sugar ?!?), and how I was trying to make her insecure about her eating, but overall wasn’t listening to my argument about health. I told her then about how it was inconsiderate to not leave any other donuts for anyone else to eat. She responded something along the lines of “heres the donuts, fatty” and threw the remaining donuts at me. I may have potentially lost it here and called her land whale saying that she will never get a boyfriend or husband because of her weight and she will be crippled for the rest of her life like Nikacado Avacadro. She looked like she was about to cry a bit and pushed me out of her room. She later told my mother about it resulting in me getting a lecture about maturity and losing my driving privileges, however I feel like I am in the right here, AITA?Info: they were donut holes not full donuts, im too lazy to add hole to every sentance.Edit: there has been a small miswriting, I didnt say she will never get a boyfriend/husband because of her current weight, I said she will never get a boyfriend/husband because of her “future weight if she keeps eating like this”. I know this is a really big detail, sorry.Also, any argument along the lines of “being the better person” is completely invalid for me. I don’t believe in ethics and put personal interests first.Edit 2: I acknowledge I will be alone in the future also. And I accept that future, considering I am alone now. | AITA for calling my sister a land whale. | YTA |
110vwr1 | This is on the low-stakes of the asshole chain. I live at an apartment complex that has a dog park (really it’s a fenced in 15x15 patch of dirt). There is some weird unwritten social rule that only one resident uses the dog park at a time. I have lived here for three years, and I’ve never seen two people use it at the same time. When I use it, people will continue walking their dog and then come back as I soon as I leave. If I see someone else is using it, I’ll just take my dog to a patch of grass elsewhere. There is this family that always waits right outside the gate of the dog park if someone else is using it and just watches you until you feel uncomfortable enough to leave (that’s how I feel anyway). Over the last three years, they have done this to me dozens of times. I have tried to pretend like they aren’t there so I don’t feel unfairly rushed into leaving early, but my dog gets scared when these people and their big dog are staring him down so he just freezes and he won’t move, which makes it useless for us to be in there anyway if he isn’t walking around/using the bathroom. Additionally, one time when I tried to just ignore them, the mom of the family loudly said “ugh this girl always takes forever.”Honestly, I am tired of it. So today I was using the dog park and had only been in there for maybe 3 minutes. The whole family (mom, dad, two kids, big dog) came and stood right outside the gate and just stared at us. I waited maybe a minute then I turned around and told them that my dog is friendly and they are welcome to use the dog park at the same time as me so they aren’t just awkwardly standing there. The dad said “no. We’ll just stay here.” Then I said, “it’s extremely uncomfortable for your whole family to be standing right outside the gate staring at me. It makes me feel like you’re rushing me out so you can use it. If you don’t want to come inside, maybe you should come back when it’s empty.” The dad said “well my dog wants to use the park and I can’t just drag her away. She’s not going to leave.” And I said “okay well it’s pretty rude to just stand there and stare at me until I leave.” My dog and I pretty much left immediately after the exchange because he was too fixated on the people and dog and he wouldn’t move around.I know this seems silly and definitely not the most egregious thing a person can do, but it has happened repeatedly and nothing will change if I don’t say anything. It drives me crazy and I feel bad for my dog. We never spend a lot of time in there. Maybe 5-7 minutes. Never more than 10.So AITA for telling this man that it’s rude for him and his family to just stand right outside the dog gate and stare at people until they leave? | AITA for telling someone that it’s rude for him and his family to stand outside the dog park gate and stare at people until they leave? | NTA |
1111r2n | So one of my(25F) best friends since college(27F) let’s call her “Alexis” had been dating a guy(28M) “Jack” for about 6 years now. Initially all seemed well and they were on the same page about marriage and kids. They initially both wanted those things and mutually agreed to get married and start trying for a family once they were both post grad and steady in the workforce. That time came recently and Jack brought up wanting to start trying for kids but how his mind has changed on marriage because he’s scared of what the court systems do to men. Which is fair. Alexis told him that’s fine if he doesn’t want to marry but then she’d rather they remain childfree and not co-habitate if they stay together because she doesn’t want to be a baby mama, she doesn’t want to risk her health and body for a man that doesn’t view her as worth being a wife and she wouldn’t want to have a different last name from her kids as Jack would want any potential kids to have his last name. They’d been arguing back and forth about this for a while. Alexis long gave up on trying to convince Jack of marriage but he’s still trying to convince her into having kids. He’s employed every method from sweet-talking, to guilt tripping, to shaming etc. During this whole ordeal Alexis has been coming to our friend group venting and asking for advice. After a while of this going on I told her just because she loves him and has invested 6 years already doesn’t mean she’s obligated to stay with him. How she respected his wishes of not wanting marriage but him not respecting her wishes of not wanting kids is a red flag. How she’d be well within her rights to leave him no matter what he says about that being “giving up on love for no good reason” among other things.She took the words to heart and in another big argument broke up with him and told him about the points I brought up and how she felt I was right. The breakup has caused a bit of a rift in the friend group and it’s kind of split in 3 now, those on Alexis’s side, those who “feel bad” for Jack and those who are remaining neutral. Jack has been very angry and blowing me up on social media especially after Alexis blocked him on everything. Some of our friends felt I shouldn’t have said anything beyond run of the mill platitudes and that I should’ve just let her vent and had them figure it out on their own. While other friends think I was right to say what I did and that Alexis needed to hear it. AITA? | AITA for “making” my friend breakup with her BF of 6 years? | NTA |
110szfl | So I live with my boyfriend and his family. I pay $650 a month for the room, plus electricity for the house and I pay the gardener. We also make dinner for the house as a rotation. My boyfriends brother and his girlfriend also live with us so they’re apart of the rotation. The four of us and his dad will make dinner Monday-Friday and we all have a specific day. His mom will make dinner on Saturday and Sunday is take-out day that we all split. My day to make dinner is Wednesday. My boyfriends brother and his girlfriend had a talk with me yesterday saying that I do not put enough effort into my dinner day. When I make dinner it’s mostly pasta and the sauce is normally the ones you can buy at the store. The only sauce I make from scratch is Alfredo since it’s cheap and doesn’t take long. I’ll make stuff like spaghetti, Cajun chicken Alfredo, gnocchi and mushrooms. Just stuff like that. I will also make the occasional more difficult dishes but I honestly don’t have the patience to spend all that time cooking. I work part-time (30 hours a week) and go to school full-time (4 classes) so spending 2+ hours cooking is just not a priority. Also it’s cheaper to buy it from the jar and I could afford it, but it would take away from other things I set my budget for. I save 10% of my check for retirement and another 10% for emergency savings. The brother and girlfriend said since I’m young I don’t need to be saving for retirement and it’s “excessive.”I asked them if they liked my food and they said yes but they would like me to make more of an effort instead of buying the sauce from a jar. They also said I make too much pasta. This kind of got me mad because the girlfriend also makes a LOT of pasta but she’ll make the sauce is the only difference. I asked my boyfriends parents about it and they said they didn’t mind me making stuff from a jar and that they can’t taste the difference between my pasta and the girlfriends pasta.I told the brother and girlfriend that I will not be changing the way I make food and they don’t have to eat it if they don’t want to. They’re pretty pissy about it now and said I’m being a jerk and the least I could do is make something from scratch once a week. AITA?**his family, excluding his dad, generally always make more difficult meals. **My boyfriends brother will only cook once a month, his girlfriend will cover his day so I feel like he has no place to talk. | AITA for making easy meals for my boyfriends family? | NTA |
110zqss | i really gotta know because i’m getting a lot of stick for this right now from my friend group and my older sister. fake names! context: my group and i went out to eat two weeks ago and after that we went clubbing, Ana (the cheater) disappeared from the group for about 15 minutes. we were concerned but not surprised because she’s known for disappearing to the dance floor when clubbing- at the same time there’s the “never leave a girl alone” rule so we went on a proper manhunt for her where we found her with a group of boys and two girls on the second floor. i’m gonna skip forward, a couple of my friends and this group of boys were hitting it off. keep in mind this group was very suggestive; they had been from the start so me, Beth and Cathy (girls my group) were confused as to why Ana was with them in the first place. we all go to the same train station and suddenly Ana and one boy walk off, with no explanation. like i look up and they’re just rushing off without a word. without too much explanation we heard noises and giggles, she yelped at one point… and she answered our “babe are u ok?” texts with “yeah babe back in a sec! having a cigarette x” which meant she was lying to us yet we all knew. needless to say none of us were surprised, she’s always been suggestive with other men while in a relationship. i don’t want anyone thinking we left a drunk girl to be taken advantage of either, she drunk the least out of all of us as she’s on a “tolerance break” anyway. - this has been a common misconception when i tell people. so back to the title, i told her boyfriend. i told him everything the same way i told you guys with no sugar coating. while telling him i felt genuinely scared and sick because i know word would go around that i told him, but that’s because we’ve been close for years as we all collectively went to the same school. since then, i’ve had NOTHING but backlash, including from my sister who told me “i should’ve minded my business” and “everyone cheats so why would i fuck up my best friend like that”. Beth and Cathy seem to support me to my face and backchat about me being a “pick me”. i’m really conflicted now, because when i first told him i thought i did the best thing i could and it was better he found out, but now i’m wondering if it would’ve been better if i kept my mouth shut and let him live in ignorance. anyway, opinions? | AITA for telling my friend’s boyfriend she cheated? | NTA |
1112iji | My boyfriend (29 m) and I (28 f) are struggling trying to conceive a child. We are starting IVF protocol.Last week, we were eating with my in-laws and started talking about a cousin who just had twins thank to IVF. My mother-in-law said that "I don't understand why people who can’t have children, go through these unnatural process, they should just accept that they can’t have child, it's no big deal » it hurt me but I said nothing. (By the way i’m also a IVF child, she doesn’t know that, so is my bf half sister from his father side, she knows that).Later she asked us « when are you gonna make me a baby ? ». It was too much fo me so I said that if we are lucky enough to have a child she probably won’t want anything to do with him/her cause he/she won’t be born naturally. The rest of the evening was cold.My bf says I went too hard on his mother, that she wouldn't have said that if she knew what we were going through. He wishes that I talk to her to make things better. But for now I don’t want to talk to her unless she apologies.AITA ? | AITA for refusing to make amend with MIL unless she apologies | NTA |
110wz7j | Me (30’s F) and my brother (32M) are close in age, full-blooded siblings. We are drastically different in personality and outlook on life. My brother has never paid for anyone’s meal. In his life. Except maybe the women he has dated, but he has asked me before when he should and shouldn’t pay for their meals. He borrows money from everyone, even gas money from our mom (70F). He feels entitled to everyone’s money and time.My brother has a habit of crashing in on events so that you end up buying his meal. He has always picked the most expensive thing on the menu. Every time we have gone out for family gatherings, my husband or I invite distant relatives out. My brother, who lives with my family, joins in. This includes my parents making sure that if I bring food for them because they like to watch my child (1M), that I remembered my sibling man child also needs a plate.Recently, it was my father’s birthday and we had extended relatives in town. I asked my dad what he wanted to do for his birthday (70’s). He said he would really like to have everyone out for dinner. I texted my brother, asking how he wanted to approach this. After some time of ignoring me, I asked again closer to the birthday. He responded saying “I don’t know and don’t care. No one does anything to celebrate my birthday. Why should I care for anyone else’s?” I just ignored him, because it was insanely selfish given that our father had a terminal illness and could pass any day even just from old age. I decide with my husband on a place, account for everyone except my brother. Day of the birthday, guess who shows up? My brother, avoiding my eye contact. He grabs the menu and looks over it. I text him asking him if he is going to at least pay for his meal, since there were a lot of mouths to feed and he showed up unexpectedly. He read my text, handed the menu back to our server and said to everyone,” I don’t want to eat here.” He texted me “I’m blocking you” and then walked off. Later my mom told me it wasn’t classy what I did. I reminded her that her grown son lives rent free while I pay for their mortgage and groceries in exchange for her helping me with my child — and that I couldn’t believe he expects me to cover his meal. My mom said it was embarrassing in front of extended family.My child’s first birthday is approaching and my brother is acting like he hasn’t done anything wrong. He asked me if I needed help, always after I finish tasks I’m doing at my parents house. AITA for not inviting him to my sons birthday and for demanding he pay for his meal? | AITA for not inviting brother to my child’s birthday? | NTA |
110z9lj | **In 2020, my sister bought a house so we can all live together during the pandemic to save money.** Contractor Downgrayedd (fake name) was hired to add a bathroom to the den and fix our main bathroom shower. Construction past the due date. My sister asked me to show up for the inspection to see what was holding up. **I asked permission to record during the inspection so my sister could see what was going on. Through the inspector, we found out Downgrayedd lied about being a licensed contractor.** He did everything wrong in the den and abandoned the project.**I posted the inspection videos on TikTok and they went viral.** I then found my sister a 5-star contractor company named Upgrayedd (fake name) to finish Downgrade's work. **Upgrayedd was excited that I would post their work on TikTok to promote their company.** I made a couple of TikTok videos that received positive comments for their company. Upgrayedd thanked me and said they wanted more, they wanted 1 million views. **Later,** **Upgrayedd was caught cutting corners.** Including: not following the construction plan, not following the inspector checklist, never supervising subcontractors, destroying our mini split air conditioner and not telling us, and leaving dangerous trash and debris everywhere that almost hurt my mother. Subcontractors had no idea what they were supposed to do when they arrived because there were no guidelines and no communication from Upgrayedd. I had to look at the inspector checklist online with them to figure out the steps. Because of that, I have befriended many subcontractors. **I made sure I received their verbal consent to record their work and I never heard a complaint from them about recording. (record about 5 min a day)**I stopped posting on TikTok when things got out of hand & requested Upgrayedd to do the right thing. **Upgrayedd emailed my sister and told her that I harassed their workers and recorded them when they didn't want to be recorded.** I then agreed to stop all recordings but I still need to be around because of their bad track record. We requested that Upgrayedd refund my sister some of the money she previously had paid them for work that had not started and also to correct the inspection checklist before charging her again. **They refused all of it and ghosted us.** I started posting on TikTok again. Upgrayedd then sent my sister a certified letter**. In the letter, Upgrayedd said they are giving us 7 days to remove all videos or they will sue her for 2.5 Million dollars.** They also demanded that she pay the remaining balance with interest and take down all the videos (my videos), comments, and posts. They said that my videos: harm the company's reputation, hurt their employees, and they experienced humiliation, mental anguish, emotional distress, and psychological damage.None of my family or my sister wants to back down. We want justice but the justice system is broken. Now AITA for not wanting to back down even though we might lose everything. | AITA for not wanting to take down my videos even after being sued for harassment (2.5 million usd)? | NTA |
110um77 | For context my dad and mom have been divorced for 10 years now. My half sister(24) always took my moms side because my dad would discipline her and my mom would let her do whatever and jumped on my dad for trying to discipline her because "shes not your daughter". Well flash forward to today and my dads going through another divorce, with another abusive alcoholic. I (21M) am not very close to my mom nor step mom. So i talk to my dad about everything. So now to the actual problem. My niece was having her 7th birthday party and my sister didn't tell me about it, mainly because it was last minute and for her friends. Which is completely understandable. Let me also say im extremely close with my niece, but my sister and i aren't because of how she treated me as a child. Well my step dad tells me about said party. So i message my sister and asked what their address is and when my niece wakes up so i can tell her happy birthday. The next morning i got called into work early because of an emergency. Because of this i missed being able to tell my niece happy birthday that morning. I texted my sister to let her know and called three times that afternoon to make up for it. I also tell her i sent the present, when it will be there, and to tell her for me. She never replies and never calls back so i get a little upset because i didn't get to tell my niece happy birthday. So i call my dad and vent to him about how i feel like she doesnt want me around and how i feel crushed that we dont get to be as close to my sister as other siblings. Today i recieve a message that my step mom had messaged my sister and other two siblings about how i was "shit talking" my sister and she believed her and continued to berate me and tell me that my dad and myself are pieces of shit. I got pissed and snapped back and told her what i said and how i felt. But she insists that i am the asshole for talking about her to my dad. I am honestly worried shes right. Ive already cut my mom out im worried i will have to do the same with my siblings as well. So AITA? | AITAfor talking to my dad about my sister | NTA |
110wbhs | My gf(26F) and I (28M) live together and she owns a car and I don't. I take the subway to work as it is easier. Her car is a 3 year old Mercedes and it cost her a lot but she makes good money.My gf by her own admission does not find periods painful but gets a lot of PMS and becomes irritable. She tries to hide it by acting very nice when she has it to the point that it comes across as fake but then snaps from time to time.Recently while she was experiencing PMS and driving she side swipped her mirror on a parked car. There was only paint damage on both cars and the other owner let it go.When we drive together, she usually drives as it is her car but I do use her car too when I go somewhere alone. I was thinking of offering to drive her car when she has pms but I was wondering WIBTA as it might come across as rude. She has said she likes to drive since it is her car and whenever she has PMS and I offer to do things for her in the house she gets upset at me. | WIBTA for offering to drive for my gf when she is on her period | YWBTA |
1110txa | My (28f) friend (28f) is a certified personal trainer and has been for the last six years. She’s great at her job—she works at an amazing gym and is no doubt knowledgeable in what she does. I’m someone trying to get back into shape and recently went back to the gym. I have very little health/exercise knowledge outside of Google/YouTube, my doctor, and Reddit pages. In the past, I’ve used online guides or apps for my workouts. My friend has made it very clear to me and our friends that she won’t work for free when it comes to PT. I respect that so I’ve never asked her for advice on working out. Now that I’m back in the gym, I started running on the treadmill for about ~30 mins then some light weight lifting. I started to realize I wasn’t as focused doing weight lifting (and frankly, not that interested) and that running helped me feel healthier. I also realized I’m fairly good at running. I basically stopped doing weights all together and just do stretches and ab stuff after my run. I understand the benefits of weight lifting, but running is much more enjoyable and it makes me excited to work out! While in a group hang with our PT friend present, I mentioned that I’m trying to lose some weight for the summer and that I’ve been running a lot and that I’m excited about it. PT friend said that if I really wanted to lose weight, I’d switch to weight lifting and cool it on the cardio. I told her that I enjoy running more but she insisted that I’m waisting my time and that I won’t achieve my goals by summertime. I told her that I didn’t want to discuss it anymore (trying not to solicit her PT hours) but she got offended and asked if I thought I knew better than her or if I got my PT license without her knowledge. I told her that I know my body better than she knows mine and that running made me feel good. I brought up that I’d actually been losing a healthy amount of weight and that I could walk up stairs a lot better now so I was doing fine with just running. Another friend changed the subject and I thought it was the end of it. Two weeks later, she told me that one of our friends in the group had reached out to her previously about becoming a client but decided against it after the hangout because she “realized she could do it on her own” cause I was. She called me an asshole for losing her money. I can see how I could be an asshole for bringing up training stuff with her present. However, I was just being honest about my own personal journey. Did I undermine her? AITA for losing her a client? | AITA for losing my personal trainer friend a client? | NTA |
1111gke | I (30s F) and Max (40s M) have already had a couple of dates. He's a single dad, overall a nice person, and we get on. Because we live in different countries, this hasn't been a regular thing. That said, he is in my city for work every few weeks, and travelling is no obstacle for me, so distance isn't a big issue if we were to go forward with dating.After not talking much since the holiday season, he let me know he'll be in town soon and if I would like to go on a dinner date. It happens to be my birthday when he's around (a time I usually spend doing stuff with friends), but he insisted that since we haven't seen each other for a bit he would like to give me a special treat. I told him this wasn't necessary and we could have a simple date, just grab some takeout and watch a movie or go on a walk. Again he insisted he'd like to take me out for dinner "somewhere nice". I agreed and he told me to suggest a few places that would be extra special as a treat/gift for my birthday. I made a few suggestions, including a personal favourite (I told him this) because it serves food from my homeland. However, he said he prefered somewhere more fancy and finally chose a Michelin star restaurant as it sounded like something he would like as well. I asked if I should make the reservation or if he would do it. He said he would do it. After a few minutes, he asked me how to make a reservation there. This is literally a link on their Google map profile as well as very obviously on their homepage. The restaurant site is in 3 languages (very easy to select at the top of the page). He insists it's too complicated so I go ahead to do it. It requires a deposit, which is basically the cost for one person. Fair enough. When I'm done, I mention it to him, and he says, "Thanks, your end is sorted now, happy to give you such a nice gift". This kinda rubbed me the wrong way. Not only did I not want anything fancy and repeatedly asked for a more low key date, he was the one who insisted on an expensive place as a gift to me, but then after making this choice he's happy I pay for my own gift which he then weirdly takes credit for. The money isn't an issue since we both have good jobs, but the way he handled it was just so strange. I'm inclined to change the reservation to dinner for one. WIBTA? | WIBTA to cancel a date I already agreed to? | NTA |
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