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use them too often Boredom is less extreme and almost equally as helpful If you ever feel the
need to regain your repose pretend you are bored
Facial Exercise Feigned Boredom and Tiredness
Spend a minute looking exceptionally invariably bored Next try looking overtired and
sleepy as if you have been up for five days straight Then spend a minute looking both bored
and tired but with wide eyes This instantly transforms boredom into a type of calm interest
Next while maintaining the calm elements of this expression move toward a face that
exhibits compassion or perhaps an appreciation of beauty Finally work in a smile and turn
the expression into one of happiness Return to indignance boredom or sleepiness as
needed to reset your face capture the expressionlessness from it and channel that into your
calm happy face
After you spend a few months pairing expressionlessness with diaphragmatic breathing
you will have alleviated much of your facial tension While working on expressionlessness you
may have to deaden your smile and some of the light in your eyes However after a short
PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body
hiatus when you reemploy many of your old expressions you will find that they are
unadulterated by the pained tension that previously accompanied them It is akin to breaking
an unhealthy system into its component parts and removing the unhealthy ones to build it back
up anew
Facial Activity Expressionless Running
The next time you run jog or exercise aerobically concentrate on maintaining an
expressionless face It takes practice to relax the face during physical exertion but it will
make it much easier to stay relaxed when you are not exerting yourself While exercising
focus on keeping your eyes wide and otherwise allow your entire face to go limp Think of
this as your game face
At first it will be uncomfortable to stay calm while keeping a straight face You may notice
that you easily break into a nervous smile a spontaneous laugh or a blush This is because
when you start out trying to look expressionless your body will compensate by adding tension
in other areas Facial expressionlessness will cause you to unconsciously tighten your neck
constrict your vocal folds or speed up your heart Notice this It is often a balancing act so that
when you relax one aspect another tightens up This happens because your body keeps
combinatorial records of the postures that are safe to have all at once You have to create new
healthier records where all the optimal postures are being used together simultaneously
We dont feel comfortable socially when our faces are at rest so facial rest is usually paired
with distressed breathing Taking on an expressionless face generally causes us to breathe
shallowly squint and look at the floor At first it will be hard to do it while maintaining eye
contact But this is all reversible Practice expressionlessness with paced breathing wide eyes
and looking upward along with the fixed gaze exercise from Chapter The more you can
breathe diaphragmatically while maintaining a nonexpressive face the more natural and
healthylooking it will become
Use Expressionlessness in Social Situations
We use facial tension to communicate things like Sorry for interrupting you may be wrong
about this or hope you like me Thus the tension becomes an integral part of our social
selfpresentation When you remove it you must radically rethink your social deliveries Your
very personality will change When allowing your face to be calm you have to come to grips
with the fact that some people wont like the way you look and will question why you have
allowed your face to be so lax At first took expressionlessness too far stopped smiling at
service employees treated other people like robots stopped connecting with people
emotionally and had the appearance of deadness Avoid this Use it alone use it in public but
dont take it too far especially in the company of friends
Although you may try to present a completely calm face you probably still look defensive
This is because you assume that other people will interpret your expressionless face as
competitive and you make a preemptive negative face This keeps it from being truly calm All
you must do to ensure a socially sensitive expressionless face is to widen the eyes and breathe
diaphragmatically Trust that taking long deep slow breaths will wipe away the negative
Chapter Reprogram Facial Tension
aspect Welcome looking like a doe in the headlights acting like you are imploring someone or
appearing naive Dont be afraid of playing the part of an inquisitive toddler with puppydog
eyes Sometimes the most powerful countenance is that of a funloving child
An authentically calm face is actually endearing Chapter discussed how subordinate apes
avoid eye contact and how direct looking can be a threat signal Expressionlessness can change
this When a chimpanzee gazes at another that is not using any apprehensive signals such as
pursing the lips frowning or glaring it does not appraise it as threatening Expressionlessness
free from negativity will make your eye contact more inviting opening social doors for you
Allow me to offer some words and phrases that may help guide you in finding your new look
Ultimately you want to imbue your expressionlessness with a cool elegant urbane sheen lam
not talking about being distant detached aloof or unsociable Rather think about these words
dispassionate collected imperturbable unflappable unruffled serene free from agitation You
want a sedate disposition stemming from selfdiscipline You want temperate selfassurance that
suggests indifference You want an easy casualness even under heavy provocation
You might also try to incorporate a look of stoic decorum find the definition of the word
stoic to be inspiring a person who can endure pain or hardship without showing their
feelings or complaining When started focusing on appearing stoic suddenly lost the tough
guy shtick because stoicism is not a competition It is an internal discipline Make your
appearance resigned to drama with no trace of protest Create your own calm facial expression
that you truly believe is warm and positive If you believe it it will come across as clear as day
The ultimate extension of this is to make your facial expressions and eye contact emanate a
relaxed loving kindness
Social Disapproval of Your Expressionlessness
remember when first started forcing myself to walk on the sidewalk with an expressionless
face was genuinely worried that someone driving by would become infuriated with me
because my face was too calm was concerned that someone would literally see my face
through their windshield from to feet away pull their car over and try to fight me over it
had to overcome delusions like this before could let my face tranquilize Do you Start
making this expressionless face alone in your room so that social concerns dont start to
manipulate your facial muscles without your awareness Next try it walking around your home
or neighborhood Slowly work up to being in a store a restaurant or other public place while
sporting your new calm demeanor
When used during conversation people will question the authenticity of your
expressionlessness thinking that it is artificial One thing they will do is stare at you while you
are looking at something else Bullies do this often They will leave their gaze on you thinking
that if they look long enough you will revert to a more submissive facial posture They
anticipate you will look down lower your chin raise your eyebrows or squint your eyes
Dont submit to their visual inspection of you By underreacting to them you will show them
that it is not a ruse
Bullies will also show false tension in their faces or pretend to lose their composure to bait
you into doing the same Once you follow their cue they instantly revive their composure to
make you look stupid Many people do this Most of them do it halfconsciously It is a
manipulative ploy
PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body