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Wow, I guess he wasn't killed in Vietnam.

Aaahh... These Laramie cigarettes give me the steady nerves I need to combat evil.

Gee whillikers, Radioactive Man. Wisht I was old enough to smoke Laramies.

Sorry, Fallout Boy, not until you're sixteen.

Look out!

Will Radioactive Man act in time to save the earth?

Well, wasn't that great?... Y'know, kids, I'm sure we'd all like to remember actor Dirk Richter for his portrayal of Radioactive Man, and not the sordid details of his final years, so let's keep the questions tasteful, okay? Now how about a big welcome for Buddy "Fallout Boy" Hodges!

Any questions?

When Radioactive Man got injected with shrinking serum in issue two-thirty-four, how come his costume shrinks, too?

I am sure I don't know. But I did just finish playing Rum Tum Tugger in the second national touring company of "Cats" -- anybody see it?

Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Over here, Fallout Boy! Oh, oh, me... me... me... me, me.

Yes, you, the masked boy.

Do you think the ghost of Dirk Richter haunts the bordello where his bullet-riddled body was found?

Dirk Richter was a beautiful man. Can't you little vultures leave him alone?

Hey, Radioactive Man number seventy-two! It's the imaginary tale where Radioactive Man marries Larva Girl.

Tell you what. I'll show you something very special if you promise to put your grubby little hands behind your back and keep 'em there.

Behold!

Wow. Radioactive Man Number One.

None other.

I bet it's worth a million bucks!

It is, my lad. But I'll let you have it for a hundred because you remind me of me.

All I got is thirty.

Then you cannot have it.

But I must. Until this moment, I never knew why God put me on this earth, but now I know... to buy that comic book.

Your emotion is out of place here, son.

So, did you kids have fun?

Yeah, Mom! Guess what? For a dollar a man sold me thirty-five Caspers and a dozen Lois Lanes.

I never knew what Superman saw in her. Give me Wonder Woman! And that golden lariat. She can tie me up any time.

I was just kidding, Marge. Hey, what does everyone say to dinner at Krusty Burger? My treat!

All right, Homer. Whoa, you really are a sport, Dad, taking us out to a fine restaurant like Krusty Burger!

All right, what are you getting at?

I need a hundred dollars for a comic book.

A hundred bucks?! For a comic book? Who drew it, Micha-ma-langelo?

Oh please, Dad. I want this more than anything in the world.

Well, t.s.

Please Dad.

Please Dad.

Please Dad.

Please Dad.

Please Dad.

Please Dad.

Please Dad.

Please Dad.

No! Now, look, son, we all know that usually when you bug me like this, I give in, so I'm not mad at you for trying. It shows you've been paying attention. But we all know I'm not gonna give you a hundred dollars. Now are you gonna stop bugging me?

Are you?

Are you?

Are you?

Are you?

Are you?

Are you?

Are you?

Are you?

Are you?

Are you?

Hee hee, I win! In your face! Yeah! How do you like them apples? Woo hoo hoo!

Don't gloat, Homer. You know, Bart, when I was your age, the one thing I wanted more than anything in the world was a Child-sized Electric Lightbulb Oven. My parents wouldn't give me the money, so I went to my sisters, Patty and Selma...

We'll give you half our allowance.

Uh-huh. But you have to be our slave.

This gives us a lot more free time.

Uh-huh. Let's take up smoking.

For months, I worked and worked, while my sisters smoked and smoked...

Venus... Oh, Venus...

We want those dress-shields hand-washed and drip-dried.

Haw haw!

Here we are.

But the big day finally came. And because I'd worked for it, all those lightbulb-warmed treats always tasted extra-good.

So maybe a part-time job is the answer.

Aw, Mom, I couldn't ask you to do that. You're already taking care of Maggie, and Lisa is such a handful --

She means you should get a job, stupid.

Get a job! Were they serious? I didn't realize it at the time, but a little piece of my childhood had slipped away... forever.

Bart! What are you staring at?

Uh... nothing.

He didn't say it, and neither did I, but at that moment my dad and I were closer than we ever...

Bart! Stop it!

"I NEED SOME MONEY / A LOT OF MONEY..." AHH

Empty bottles... empty bottles...

Hm... well, it's practically empty.

Here you go, Apu.

Ooh, very good. Would you like the deposit defrayed from the cost of a Jumbo Cherry Squishie?

No, not today. I need the dime.

Oh, it is good to see you are learning a trade.

Americanize this, my good man.

Okey dokey.

All those coins were only worth three lousy cents?

Let the good times roll.

Oh, this is so humiliating... I feel like such a geek.

How's it going, Bart?

Terrible. Cars slow down to laugh at me, but no one's buying.

Maybe you need to play on their sympathies more. Lets see...

Ah ha, now you look pathetic.

Lemonade sucks. I need a new product. Let's see... ... Ah!

Form a line, no crowding. Cheap beer and a sympathetic ear... Step right up.

Ah, Bart could you give me one on credit? I'm a little short this week.

Beat it.

Say, uh, you got a liquor license there, young fella?

Ugh, my dog ate it.

Gotta have a license to sell beer.

Say... writing all those tickets must make you guys thirsty. How about a couple on the house?

We-ell, seeing as how it's a first offense...

I guess we can overlook this.