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Mmm... hors doovers.

Homer! You promised!

I promised I wouldn't eat? Never! You lie!

Homer, please. We've never thrown a party. Now we're gonna pay back all the friends who've invited us to their homes.

But Mom, I want to hear the witty banter of sophisticated adults.

Yeah, you can't have any fun in bed.

Oh son, when you're older, you'll know better.

Hmmm. Oh, baby! Mmmm. Yeah.

Oh! They're here! How does everything look?

How do I look?

Do we have enough glasses?

Do we have enough gag ice cubs?

Homer! Homer! Put a record on!

What are all our friends names again?

Children! Go!

Hey, anybody mind if I serve as bartender? You know, I have a Ph.D in Mixology.

College boy.

Hey, Homer! Care to try some of my Flanders Planters punch?

Why not? I paid for it.

Hey, Flanders, next time why don't you put a little alcohol in it?

Au contraire, Simpson! It has three shots of rum, a jigger of bourbon and just little dab-a-roo of creme de cassis for flavor.

Really? Well I do have a warm sense of well-being and I seem to be ssslurring my shpeech... you're right! Give me another.

Now, Homer, go easy on the al-ky-hol. Remember last year at the Winfield's party when you threw up in the laundry hamper?

Hi! You're Homer's sister-in-law, right? I remember you, but I don't remember you being so beau --tiful.

Ow! Hey! Jeez!

Is that a new kind of Mace? It's really painful.

Oh, Dr. Hibbert. Enjoying the party?

Uh, no, not really. Someone seems to have slipped one of those novelty ice cubes with a fake fly in my drink.

It was me! You fell for it!

Homer, these novelty ice cubes are often made from highly toxic chemicals. Ironically, a real fly would have been much more sanitary.

Please Dad.

You should see the look on your face. It's priceless.

Bart! Come over here.

You little monkey... you're a little monkey, aren't you?

Yes sir.

Bart, do that thing you do that's so cute.

That thing you know how to do.

Go to bed.

Hey, everybody! Look, I'm the funniest guy in the world!

Oh, Homer, you're the king!

I've been wantin' to tell you off for years, but I've never had the nerve.

Homer, I don't know you. My wife and your wife are friends. We met just three hours ago.

You stink! You and your whole lousy operation stinks! I quit!

Uh, gee Homer, don't quit...

All right then.

Could you... give me a handful of peanuts... Maude?

Oh sure.

Not those peanuts. The ones at the bottom.

Hey, thanks for invitin' me. I had a wonderful time.

I must apologize for my husband.

If you want him to live through the night, I suggest you roll him onto his side.

Hmmm. thank you. I will, Dr. Hibbert. Thanks for coming.

Remember, I said if.

I have never been so embarrassed in my life.

Why? What'd you do?

Come here!

Where-where are we going?

I want to make sure the kids don't hear. When I was young, I always hated knowing my parents were fighting.

They're fighting in the car again.

That music always sends a chill down my spine.

Homer, do you remember the way you acted at the party last night?

The way I acted?

So I said: I must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry martini.

Good lord! There's a fly in my drink!

I put it there.

You did?

I slipped it into your glass as a gag.

Pure hilarity!

Pure Homer!

I pronounce it to be the most whimsical jape of the season!

Homer, I like to think that I'm a patient, tolerant woman, and that there was no line you could cross that could make me stop loving you. But last night, you didn't just cross that line, you threw up on it!

I'm sorry, honey. Can't we just forget it and go to church.

I'm going to church alone today. You're going to stay here and explain to Bart why you scarred him for life.

No, I didn't... I... Oh, you mean inside, don't you?

About last night... you might have noticed Daddy acting a little strange and you probably don't understand why.

I understand why. You were wasted.

I admit it. I didn't know when to say when. I'm sorry it happened and I just hope you didn't lose a lot of respect for me.

Dad, I have as much respect for you as I ever did or ever will.

Now before I give you all a sneak preview of next week's sermon, I have some announcements to make. We have some new pamphlets available in our church newsrack including "Bible Bafflers", "Satan's Boners," "Good Grief! More Satan's Boners" and, for the teens, "It's Not Cool To Fry In Hell."

Marge, Marge.

I'm sorry. The Lord and I can't compete with the squeaking of Homer Simpson's shoes. Why don't we just put everything on hold until he takes a seat?

Sorry, Reverend.

Sit down, Homer.

Mrs. Lovejoy and myself will be holding our third annual marriage retreat next weekend at Catfish Lake. It's psychological counseling for couples whose marriages are hanging by a thread...

... or those just in need of a tune-up.

Now if you wish to participate, please sign up on your way out after the service is over.

Will the Simpsons be attending our little retreat?

Oh, well, it's very tempting. Really a wonderful idea.

Marge! What are you doing? Are you insane?!

We'll be there!

Marriage encounter weekend, here I come!

Now you wanna go?

They're holding it at Catfish Lake. They couldn't call it Catfish Lake if it didn't have a catfish in it.

We're going to this retreat to give our marriage a tune-up and that's all. No fishing.

Oh, that must be the babysitter.

Hello. I'm Mrs. Simpson.

Simpson... Simpson...

Come back for more, eh?

Oh my. Where are we supposed to get a sitter on such short notice?

Oh dear. If we can't find a babysitter, we can't go. What a kick in the teeth.