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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[25/F] with my boyfriend [23/m] a year and a half, moved in together and hard time adjusting
POST: I moved in with my boyfriend a year after dating him. The first year was awesome, very easy and few issues. The first month of living together was smooth but the last two months (moved in together in June) have been really, really hard. I'm concerned my stress is killing us. I have a new job that started in July that is stressful and am dealing with some family stress, my brother has a heroine addiction has been in and out of the hospital for relapses. I've had to be involved in some hospital visits but have made the decision to be less involved and "detach" for my own sanity. My family, as a result, isn't a stable support system. I have a lot of great friends that are supportive and try to keep positive people in my life best I can. I've taken a lot of stress home with me and felt insecure due to the lack of stability and unfortunately have taken some of this out on my boyfriend. I am never mean to him but have started a lot of arguments that I probably would have let go if I wasn't stressed. He tends to need his space when he is stressed while I crave extra support. Mostly we've had tiffs about stupid issues but have noticed he wants more space than usual. I just started therapy to address my family issues and am working hard to give him his space and respect it.
Some of the arguments I think have been normal moving in together arguments, but they seem to happen frequently (never yelling or anything awful) because of all the stress I am carrying. I am optimistic about the relationship but fear I have damaged it. I haven't violated his trust but have been clingy (which really isn't me in a normal state) and overwhelmed. I take effort to do things I enjoy that are fun and away from home. How much of an adjustment should moving in together be? I do love him, want him to have the space he needs, but also feel like this has been extremely hard and I am worried about the health of our relationship.
TL;DR: | Having a hard time adjusting to living together, lots of stupid little arguments mostly due to outside stress. Worried I have done damage to a good relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Fiance [30M] refuses to LET me [28F] sign a prenuptial agreement (4 years)
POST: Don't really know what I'm looking to get out of this. I guess I just need a place to organize my thoughts. My fiance has been a hard worker his entire life and his hard work paid off in a big way financially last year. We both agreed that we did not want to change our lifestyle so all of the extra money is going into investments for our future. It's really easy to forget about it. That being said, forgetting about something doesn't make it disappear. I know my fiance's parents have never liked me very much and they were the first people to propose the idea of a prenup. I was a little upset about what I perceived their implications were but I had no problems with signing it. I *want* to sign it, not because they are asking, but because it's the reasonable thing to do. My fiance, on the other hand, is appalled by the idea. He dismissed the need because he thinks that signing it is equivalent to acknowledging that our relationship will fail and he tells me that is not a possibility. He's my sweetheart. I believe that he truly believes that kind sentiment but I know that it's not realistic. Shit happens. Sometimes things don't go as planned and that's what prenups are for.
I don't know. I've pleaded with him non-stop to sign it with me but he refuses. I'm considering calling off the wedding unless he signs it because I don't think it's fair for either of us to go into this marriage without one.
FTR: I have very little assets. I work for an organization that deals with orphaned and vulnerable children. While I love working there with all my heart, it does not pay very well.
Opinions on the situation? Thoughts regarding whether or not calling off a wedding because of a prenup is reasonable given these circumstances?
TL;DR: | Fiance refuses to let me sign a prenup. I don't think that's fair to either of us. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Exgirlfriend is threatening legal action against me and some of my friends for harassment. (NM)
POST: Two weeks ago my ex gets a text message from a number which she immediately blocked. She also deleted that message. I'm not exact about the contents of the message but it elicited an emotional response against me. It should be noted that she suffers from anxiety. More recently, she's gotten a few calls from a "No Caller Id" where a woman's voice quickly repeats a similar message. We're on relatively ok terms and we've talked about it a bit. She believes it's some friends of mine, and through association, me. (the number was a Washington state number one of those friends has a Washington state number). I suspect it could be one friend going through someone else, but these are all suspicions, nothing solid. It's affected her wellbeing enough that she wants to press legal action against us (myself and two friends).
What's happening certainly classifies as harassment, but without the number of the original text message it doesn't point to anyone.
TL;DR: | Ex is getting harassed, she blames two friends of mine and me by association. Wants to press some legal action. Harassing calls are from "No Caller Id" and a harassing text message was deleted. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [15 M] with my GF [15 F] of one month, relationship pace
POST: My girlfriend and I have been dating for a bit longer than a month now. This is the first romantic relationship for either of us. I could tell that she didn't want to take things very fast, so we didn't.
Yesterday I kissed her on the cheek after we had gone on a walk. Later, by text, she told me that it was appreciated, but we should "cool the jets." I am fine staying at hand holding, but it seems very slow to me.
I have no relationship experience, so I'm just trying to gauge the normality of our pace. I am comfortable where we are, it just seems like an awkward transitional stage to linger in.
TL;DR: | first relationship, her "slow" is a slug swimming in molasses (I think, that's why I'm asking) |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: [auto accident] Never been in an accident, but got in a minor car accident & screwed up getting information
POST: CA, State farm.
I was backing out of my driveway at 5mph and hit a moving car (maybe 30mph) going along the street. My car has a big scrape along the back bumper with a circular part (guessing the spot for towing?) missing and hers is the typical scrape-in/deformation for the side doors.
She was in a rush (just had a stroke and couldn't think well) and I was in an emotional rush from the accident and late to work. She asked for name, cell #, and insurance info. I gave her that and wrote them on a paper for her since she couldn't write well or something from getting out of the hospital from just having a stroke.
I asked for name and cell # and she said she couldn't find her insurance currently so she would give it when she would get her insurance to call my insurance.
Upon leaving, I realized I fked up majorly both on not looking more carefully and on not getting more information. What else should I have done?
Here's my current reflections:
Neither party got Drivers license information (I could have faked the info I put down if i wanted but I would never do that.)
Neither party took pictures (wow I'm feeling stupid)
Neither party filed a police report due to forgetfullness or rush (unaware of repercussions of this -- I'm assuming it's illegal and we may get in trouble?)
I failed to get her insurance info (not sure what I should have done if she claimed she couldn't find it currently )
Please feel free to add and correct any of my mistakes above ^
Lastly, what do I do now? Do i play the waiting game? What should I be expecting the next moves to be? I'm going to set off a few thousand in cash to be ready to pay for some damages that insurance always seems to not be able to cover. All I know is a deductible is something I have to pay and hopefully the insurance pays the rest, and then my insurance prices shoot up for me getting in an accident :(.
This is my first accident so I want to learn from this and follow procedure properly in the future.
TL;DR: | backed out of driveway, hit a moving car, some damage on my bumper, some damage / indentation on her side doors. WE fail to get each others information immensely. Now i dont know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [27m] GF [26] expresses worry over her being my first and only - how to tackle?
POST: I [27m] have been seeing my first and only girlfriend [26] for a good year now. We've been getting along just fine, with our own share of minor arguments along the way that have been taken care of and not buried in some deep dark corner.
Now, the topic of marriage has popped up, and there's one thing that she has expressed concern over, and it's the fact that I have never dated seriously before I met her. On her end, she has had 4 other relationships, with me being her fifth boyfriend. She has gone as far as saying that if I decided to break up with her because I wanted to see other girls, she wouldn't hold that against me.
In response, I've told her, and even felt that because we click so well and have so many things we share in common, I could not possibly think of breaking up with her, and that it would take a lot for me to let her go. To be honest, if I had the financial means right now, I would go out, buy a ring and immediately propose to her. That's how much I love her. I can picture being with her for the rest of my life - a sentiment she has echoed.
That leads to this question: am I really missing out because I haven't had other relationships? I've heard that the point of dating is to get to know what one's preferences, expectations and dislikes are, and to tweak it until one finds his or her match. On top of that, I also heard it's almost never a good idea to marry your first love. So, what gives?
TL;DR: | Marriage has popped up between GF and me. GF is worried I may regret marrying her because I haven't had other dating experiences. I personally don't mind, though conventions seem to indicate I should. Should I mind? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] with my ex GF [21 F]. it's been half a year and I've cut off all communication from her but seems like she's trying to contact me. What do I do?
POST: Me and my ex gf of 3 years broke up half a year ago and I've been on a mission of self-healing and improvement. We broke up in good terms and with a bit of communication but I found that I couldn't completely move on.
At one point I already knew she liked a certain person and had a gut feeling that it was going to be a long distance relationship. Some time ago, she contacted me and said she wanted to talk. All she wanted to talk about was her problems, all about her. I felt like she was just using me as a temporary bf since the guy she liked wasn't there and it was makig my heart ache. So I decided to cut off all ties.
A few weeks ago I changed my number. Turns out she was still trying to reach me. My brother told me that she asked him why I was unreachable. He just shrugged it off and told her that he doesn't know (he knows the situation between us).
Sometimes late at night I get a phone call but the person on the other line won't talk, and I suspect that it's her. She's a night person like me and we'd usually talk at around that hour.
I can't understand what she wants from me. She now has a new BF (that guy I mentioned), and I really am uncomfortable with communicating with her. What else does she want from me?
What do I do? Should I keep ignoring her calls or wait for her to contact me again so I can tell her to stop calling me?
TL;DR: | Ex keeps trying to contact me and I'm confused to what course of action to take. Should I tell her off or keep ignoring her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by leaving my apple TV open
POST: This actually happened a couple of weeks ago, but I'm sure you don't give a shit.
My brother and his wife wanted to be alone for a couple of days so I told him I'd watch my nephew for him. I will probably never have kids so I treat him like my own, he's my best bro. He is 5 and I let him pick what we watch, so he knows how to work my apple TV pretty well.
Well recently, I started to watch Attack on Titan (not an anime fan, just like that particular show) while my he was sleeping. I had a rough day at work so I decided to hit the rack. I thought I exited all the way out but apparently it was still in my TV shows.
Nephew got up, saw my TV shows open, clicked the first episode and began watching. I woke up to him in chair already into some big scene where titans are eating people, crying. Not tearing up, but full on waterworks. He kept screaming and screaming that a titan was going to get him. I finally got him calmed down and put into bed again. I text my brother what happened and he thought it was funny.
Fast forward to yesterday, Nephew has been having nightmares but it has been managable. My brother text me this today (cant get the damn thing to add the picture, ill just copy and paste it)
"Listen up, Douchecanoe, I took Caleb to the mall today and at that fucking anime stand there is a large cutout of a titan. Caleb saw it started screaming and running away and I eventually had to pick him up and rush out the store looking like I was kidnapping him. Luckily for me, the cops eating their fucking Sbarro thought I was kidnapping him and detained me until Sherlock Holmes Dr Watson and the fucking CSI team determined I was his Dad. I am going to kick your fucking ass. All of this in front of hundreds if not thousands of people"
TL;DR: | Accidentally left Netflix up, 5 year old Nephew started watching attack on titan which lead to nighmares and an embarassing incident in the mall. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Moved away for a job, A Friend [20/F] and I[24/M] had gotten very close, was hoping to date her when I got back, she moved on to someone else, should I still be friends with her.
POST: *First off if you say I should of stepped up sooner my answer is I know. The reason I didn't is because I didn't know how long I would be away for or If I should pursue a long distance relationship.
OK reddit here is the deal. I knew this girl for I would say a year- two years. We had gotten very close since about November. I moved 12 hours away to take a job, but me and this girl remained close. During this time we started exchanging dirty snapchats, not sure if thats relevant but its a detail. I returned home recently for a visit, I didn't get a chance to see her because I was limited by a car and she was preparing for a conference. When I got back to where I live we were talking about things. I had mentioned that I really liked her before she went on the plane to return to where she lived. She seemed really happy that I said that. I talked to her yesterday and she said she met someone at her conference and she is talking to them now, and she wants to play it by ear.
So I have been sitting around wondering If I still want to maintain a friendship with her or If I want to excommunicate her from my life. I do care for her but at the same time it hurts seeing her on social media or even thinking about it. What do you guys think I should do?
*The Shitty part about all of this is she was one of the main reasons I was looking at jobs back home, something that was made clear.
TL;DR: | Had to move away for a a job offer, hoped to start dating a girl when I came back, she goes to a conference, meets someone, and now wants to "play it by ear" |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by saying a German Exchange Student looked like a Holocaust survivor.
POST: Okay, so this actually happened last night, not today. Anyway, my brother is on our High School Varsity Football team and I had to go to one of his away games since our Grandparents were going. Well I'm watching the game and our band shows up, and since I know a few of them, I decided to ditch my family and talk to my band friends. Well fast forward three quarters and I'm pretty thirsty, so me and my friend (let's call him S) and his friend (let's call him L) walk down to the concession stand. It's a long line, so me and L start talking and he says he wants to show me something, and he then proceeds to pull out his wallet and show me a joke fake ID, [which looked something like this] except L's had a little girl and said his full name. Now, being the awkwardly funny guy that I am, a joked popped into my head, a brilliant, hilarious joke, and I plopped it on him. "You look like a holocaust survivor!" A few people around him laughed, but he didn't, instead his face got red and he looked embarrassed and stopped talking. Even S was looking at me funny, and neither of them would talk to me. I got my water and we all went and sat down, except I couldn't sit next to the band since they were about to perform, so I sat next to my family. After the game ended I walked over to S and asked him why him and L were acting weird, and he replied with, "L is from Germany, and you made a Holocaust joke!" If you can think of the red that the Red Power Ranger wore, that was what color my face was. I think I apologized at least 70 times, L just laughed and said it was cool, I still feel bad, though.
TL;DR: | I tried to make a funny but accidentally called a German exchange student a survivor of one of the worst things to happen in his country's past |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Too early to try a half-marathon?
POST: I everyone, I have the option to run a race tomorrow at my university. The options are 7.5km, 15km or half-marathon. I would really like to do the half-marathon but I wonder weather I can safely do it (without a higher risk of injury).
I run casually since maybe a year but rather recreational. The longest run I've done was around 10 km but I still felt good after it.(took me around 1 hour). Other than that I run around the neighborhood (~ 7km) a couple of times a week at around the same pace (10 km/h or 9:39 minute/mile pace for you Americans).
Do you think I could safely do it? I would really like to do and think I can pull it off. Otherwise my best option are the 14.1km right? Thanks a lot for helping me out here.
TL;DR: | Can I do a half-marathon if I've never ran more than 10k but feel like I could pull it off, without injuring myself? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17F] am having family troubles accepting my boyfriend [18M]
POST: I have had a rough start (very on and off) with my boyfriend since I was 11. We have basically been together for 6 years (some trip ups here and there) and despite many problems we had, we are very strong together.
When I was about 14, our parents confronted which resulted in his parents telling my family off that I was disrupting his education and we could no longer be together. It was very messed up, his father would tell my parents to discipline him because he wouldn't listen to his own parents.
We had many discussions about whether we wanted to be together but we stuck with it anyway. His father had said some things to my mother that made her retract instantly and cut off all communication.
Fast forward about 3 years and my boyfriend has finished high school. His parents have noticed that we are serious about each other as we managed to stick with each other so they have accepted the fact that I'm going to be sticking around. However, upon mentioning him to my mother, she said that "it's great that he is a great friend to you, but he will never be your boyfriend" which obviously was a shock to me because of how long I have been together with him (she wasn't aware). I have been building up his image to my mother and he is genuinely a great boyfriend.
My mother is worried that I'm going to get hurt, but I really do love my boyfriend and we want to be together. The problem is that his parents and family finally accept me, but my mother cannot because of what happened. I'm afraid of telling her and feel certain that she's set on not allowing me to be with him because of HIS father, not him.
Any personal experiences, advice or help would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | Long term relationship with my boyfriend, unfortunate first confrontation between our parents not allowing us to be together but we stuck with it - his family finally accepts me but mine does not. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[m28] am going to break up with GF[f24], not sure if I should tell her why.
POST: Throwaway because I am going to break up with my girlfriend tonight and she has a reddit. We have been together for 3 years total. We broke up for a 4 month stretch because I was unsure of the future of our relationship, but have been back together for about 6 months. I love her a lot, so I want to hurt her as little as possible, so I am unsure if I should give her the reason I am breaking up with her.
Why I am breaking up is as follows. She decided that she wanted to wait until she got married to have sex again, but he have been previously intimate. I don't really have an issue with that because I believe that sex is important and should only be shared by two people who love each other. I have had two partner before her and both were long term relationships. She however has a much more extensive past. She wouldn't disclose her number of past partners, besides saying she regrets it and it doesn't matter. I really don't know any specifics but I do know her friends that she hung out with and so I can put together an educated guess.
It always kind of bothered me, but she had changed her ways so I got over it. That was until she decided that we weren't going to have sex again unless I married her. I feel like if she was like that with other guys then why should I wait for her. So I am going to break up with her and she is going to want to know why. My question is should I tell her the real reason or not? I don't mind looking like an asshole, but would like to spare her feelings as much as possible.
TL;DR: | going to break up with gf who I still love, but not sure if I should tell her the real reason or not. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I have no training in programming or software design but I have an idea for an application. What steps can I take to make my vision a reality?
POST: I'm making this ask
1. Because I have an idea myself
2. Because I think there are a lot of other people in my position as well.
I have an idea for a piece of educational software that I would like to make a reality. I have no experience programming code, working with Java, C++, or whatever, it's all foreign to me. I'm not "computer illiterate" though, as some people describe themselves. I've been around computers all my life and recognize what makes a good piece of software as far as user interface, accessibility, and compatibility are concerned. I have drafts of the idea including images I drew up of how I want things to look, work, and run together. My idea cannot be fully realized though as I'm just not able to do anything with all these ideas myself. I'm a media and communications student and have no idea where to go from here in regards to putting my ideas into practice. I really think my application could help a lot of students though, and am committed to making this idea come to fruition. I'm not looking for handouts, or help with my concept. I'm putting this ask up here to draw from the collective power of the Reddit community. I know there are people on here from all types of disciplines, from programming to graphic design, and even people in app development. I'd appreciate any directions or options you could provide me in making these concepts become reality. I'm sure many others who have ideas for applications could benefit from this information as well.
TL;DR: | I have an idea for an application and want to take it from concept to useable software; what should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17/F] don't know what's on his [17/M] mind?
POST: We've known each other for over a year, we're talking to each other on IM Messenger every single day. I consider his best friend w/ benefit because we both don't care about relationship.
Though, the problem is there is a girl who is obsessive in him, but he's being cold-hearted against her, and it was a year, she is in relationship with him (he doesn't care if he's in relationship or not, he just says "okay" when she asked him to be in relationship everytime). They keep breaking up because of me, she's usually offended if she saw us hugging each other (which he wouldn't do with her) or acknowledging that we had sex. Their relationship is very messy, she cries and cries every night, she cuts herself, drinks to get too drunk to forget, etc and it was like that for a year. He shows no sympathy to her, he also offended and insulted her, calling her a whore and such. But he cares about me, he told me I'm the perfect girl, better than that girl by million time, really wants to live with me, and stuff like that. He never hurts me.
I'm not being forceful to him at all, I don't ask for sex or come over his house, he invites me himself and it only happened like 10 times for last year. It seems that she went over his house a lot more often than me, but it's probably because she's being forceful and demand him that she's coming over, etc. He also told me that he always make her cry every time she's over, like because of he yelling my name during sex, gets all offended when she said bad things about me, and stuff like that.
What's on his mind anyway?
TL;DR: | He really likes me, never hurt me but he has sex with me more rarely and we see each other in real life more rarely than his girlfriend who is obsessive over him even when he's very mean to her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: He [19] is hanging out with the girl [19] he cheated/was unfaithful to me [19] with as friends but I'm not okay with it.
POST: **Sorry, I think my title is confusing. He's hanging out with the girl as friends, but he cheated on me with her at one point in our relationship.**
He's not officially my boyfriend right now but we're exes and dating/more than friends. We've been on and off for a little over 2 years now.
When we were officially together, he cheated on me with another girl by flirtily texting with her and flirting with her in person. At a drinking party he hugged her way too much and cuddled with her in bed (he is adamant that none of it was sexual).
He cut off contact with her but after we broke up, he became friends with her. We started talking again and dating/being more than friends. He promises they're just friends and he has no interest in hooking up with her. I can't trust him. He knows I'm uncomfortable that he's hanging out with her but he does not do anything about it.
What do I do?
TL;DR: | Ex that I'm dating is now friends with a girl he cheated on me with and won't cut off friendship with her because he reassure that they are just friends. I'm uncomfortable with it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Group Universal Life through employer vs. term life insurance?
POST: I need to get some life insurance (31 yo, married, one young child, primary earner). My US employer offers GUL (Group Universal Life) insurance at a low rate, but the general recommendation in /r/personalfinance is to avoid universal life insurance in favor of term. The GUL plan seems like a great deal, but am I missing a big downside?
Details:
* The GUL plan currently costs $0.23/month for each $10k of coverage. I can increase or decrease the coverage amount at any time.
* The cost of the insurance goes up as I age, but the big increases won't hit until my 40s or 50s. I plan to decrease the coverage amount over time as I save more money (eventually dropping it entirely).
* The GUL plan also has an optional "Cash Accumulation Account" which I would not contribute to.
* As a point of comparison, a 10-year guaranteed term policy would cost me $0.27/month to $0.41/month for each $10k of coverage (quotes from term4sale.com)
TL;DR: | Need to choose between cheap Group Universal Life and Term Life insurance. Universal life insurance is usually poo-pooed in /r/personalfinance, but it seems like a better deal than Term in my case. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by speed-walking with a shopping cart
POST: So I work in retail, and I was finishing up my stray cart (basically putting away all of the items that shoppers abandon either at the registers or all over the store.) It was nearing closing time, and I wanted to get this shit done. I was on my way up to the front of the store with my now empty cart. These carts aren't like your usual shopping carts, they are very short and stocky and have this weird metal bar/basket a few inches off of the ground that supports the main cloth basket. So anyway, I'm walking quite briskly with the cart, and I guess I took too long of a stride. I end up stepping right onto this bar, causing the cart to fly right out of my hands with my foot still on it, nearly making me do the splits. I try to grab onto a mannequin stand to break my fall, but I just ended up smashing my elbow into the stand and falling right on my ass anyway. Thankfully it wasn't busy so a few co-workers and maybe 1 or two customers saw, but damn was I embarrassed.
TL;DR: | I mis-stepped onto a shopping cart's lower basket, did the splits on the way down and fell right on my ass. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27M] with my ex[27F] of 2 years broke up after a year of living together & she still reaches out & wants to see me & I'm getting mixed signals
POST: My ex and I broke up about 1 month ago & I moved out. It wasn't what I wanted and after 2 weeks she started texting me again. We've been keeping it friendly, she called me when she was sick & I brought her dinner & slept over. We cuddled all night but nothing serous. I admitted last week that I missed her & she called me and wanted to see me because she "wanted a hug" & we got coffee & kissed.
Today she called me for help with her internet & I went to our old apartment to set it up for her but when I tried for a kiss she said it would make things complicated. I want her back but I don't want to play this game if it doesn't end well.
TL;DR: | After 2 years together my ex who I want to give it another go with is playing hot & cold and I'm not sure how to handle it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: F20 paid for dinner with M23. What does this mean?
POST: On our 2nd dinner date (4th maybe 5th date in total) after we were both done eating we sat there and talked/sipped tea and coffee for maybe 30 minutes untill I (M23) had to go to the bathroom. I come back and we talk for another 15 minutes and as we get up about to leave I realized the bill hasn't been paid yet (honestly forgot about it because i was too engaged in conversation). I ask F20 what did you do with it? and it turns out she had already paid it.
At our first dinner we paid seperately and at our other dates I paid for tickets to a show and other small things.
TL;DR: | Girl sneakly pays for dinner. What does this mean? Is going to the washroom after dinner code for 'I want you to pay the bill'? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 /M] Need help dealing with a breakup with girlfriend [21 /F]
POST: My girlfriend [F/age 21] and I [M/age 18] broke up after about 4 months back in august in 2013 before school started.
Before we broke up we both went on vacation with our own families. This could be a cause, because we didn't see each other for about 2 months in which when she returned we broke up over text messages (note: I never saw her after the day i left for vacation) which was around first week of july in 2013. But the reason i think she broke up with me is because of school, she wanted to focus in university.
Btw I go to college and I am in a program with mostly guys and the only interactions with a girl i get is my best friend.
Ever since we broke we don't talk much as we use to, or talk at all. I have cried over her several times and still miss her a lot and think about her. I thought she was the one.
So i need help in what to do... should i tell her my feelings or try to stay strong and hope it gets better? Basically i agreed we could just be friends even though i didn't want to be and it seemed like it was a bit hard for her too... but it seems like we are not even that much of friends anymore.
Sorry if its a bit confusing and thanks for the help ahead of time. Feel free to ask questions and ill try to answer them to clear things up.
TL;DR: | Basically i need some help getting over a girl that i thought was the one and if i should come clean about my feelings that i have went through these past few months?(feelings of sadness and loneliness and missing her) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 F] should I be trying to help my brother[16 M] with his life?
POST: This is my first Reddit post and I'm not sure if I'm doing it right, but thank you if you read it and I'm sorry for my relatively scatterbrained writing!
My brother (we'll call him George) does very poorly at school, has bad hygiene and spends every minute of his time on the computer. He's a smart kid, but he's fallen so far behind in school that he's not even in standard classes anymore. He also struggles in those classes and has never brought home homework since about third grade. I think he is passing one course right now, and that would be metal work.
My parents seem to have given up and it's bothering me. I regret not trying harder in school (I was about average) and I know it's not fair to push what I regret onto him, but it hurts me to see him do absolutely nothing. He wants to be a mechanic but as of now he will not graduate with everyone his age, if at all. The only time he is not playing video games is when the internet is off from midnight to six in the morning and when he's at school. Which leaves about eight or so hours on weekdays and he plays twelve on weekends not counting the time he spends watching movies.
Maybe I'm being prissy and should butt out, but I feel like he should not be able to waste all that time away and fail school. There is absolutely no consequences for his lack of attention at school or even the fact that he brushes his teeth only a couple times a week. I've tried gentle helping, I've tried talking to my parents who tell me I'm not the adult (they're right and I live under their roof so I have to obey them), I've tried cutting back his computer usage to three hours on weekdays and five hours on weekends but he gets through it. I've tried countless things.
Reddit, should I just leave him be and worry about myself? I love him to death and I miss talking to him like we used to. It's been like this for awhile. Maybe it's puberty, I don't know. I'm at a loss. Someone tell me what to do.
TL;DR: | Brother is failing most of his classes, my parents don't seem to care and all he does is play video games. Should I try to help him or just leave it be? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: A girl [22F] I broke up with over a year ago randomly messaged me [22m] on facebook.
POST: I was sorta dating this girl when I was 21 years old and she was 20. What I mean by sorta dating was that we were sleeping together but never had a title. We had a messy falling out when I wouldn't commit to her. I haven't spoken to her since. After a year she sent me a message on facebook asking what I'm up too and that type of stuff. I thought she was mad at me this entire time. We ended up meeting up and started talking. And she was really probing me about who I'm with. I told her I'm not looking for a girlfriend. She was insistent that I need a girlfriend which I thought was weird. Were both pretty experienced and open so we talked a lot about sex. She didn't mind me putting my hands on her but she was hesitant to go any further.
She mentioned she was thinking about moving to another state when we were messaging on facebook. But what she didn't tell me until later on that it was to live with her fiance who's in the military. Her fiance doesn't live here. While we were talking her fiance called and she didn't mention to him that I was there hanging out with her. I got the feeling that it wasn't the fiance that was stopping her from going further. It felt more like she didn't know if she could trust me because I know I'm not the purest dude out there. We hung out talking for a little while more before I left. Before I left she said she wanted to hang out again but I do feel a bit guilty about sleeping with a girl who's taken. At the same time i really want to keep pushing this forward. I know I shouldn't be thinking about sleeping with a taken girl but I know if we hang out more we would likely end up sleeping together.
TL;DR: | girl i had a messy break up with a year ago now has a boyfriend but wants to hang out again and shes hiding me from him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My fiancee [F24] of 3 years is threatening to break up with me [M25], and while I'm looking into help from people we know, I have a question about gifts.
POST: Currently looking to involve both families because we have a 2 year old son in the middle of this and everyone thinks she's being pretty ridiculous with how she's approached our relationship (had an emotional affair with a guy she still tries to be friends with and ran from all of our problems) as well as trying to get her to see a couple's therapist.
Anyway, the question here is about the gifts she bought me. For instance, last February, she bought me a new 32" TV and a second
TL;DR: | We're not married, but have lived together for over a year. Do I get to keep the Christmas gifts and such, or does she get to keep them? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I had my world rocked over the last few days.... I really dislike Christmas sometimes.
POST: I was was just told something that basically made me want to vomit on spot. If you didnt know about me , I grew up in homeless shelters, and on the streets of edmonton, calgary, and vancouver . From the age of 12-13 i have had no stable home or place to feel safe. This was do to me having issues coming from an abusive and broken home , and I did what most children do 'and act out and chose to smoke pot because i was sad i didnt have the white picket fence i saw everyone else have, and for that i was thrown to the wolves the run the streets. After being told a few days ago that i am a problem still and i am a negative influence and that is why i am not invited to any holiday celebration, or told of family events because i choose to still smoke ( with a DR backing me i might add) I get awoken to another family member being like lol i got the young ones high last night isnt that cool? ya super cool ....... i hang with you , you hang with them, you get them high so thats gonna be my fault in my dads crazy ass wife"s loopy brain,yup awesome!
TL;DR: | = Just found out the whole reasoning on why im not part of the family has really nothing to do with me anymore......................... |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Dear Reddit, Any computer geeks out there can help me with this simple task?
POST: So I recently got a kindle, and it is awesome! I really can't keep my hands off of it. I loaded it with a few books, and everything is working perfectly.
Now, I am trying to convert some PDF's to .mobi's using Calibre (great program). I've had issues after converting the PDF's with page numbers. The page numbers are all over the place on the kindle, as well as the title (which normally would appear at the top of the page on the PDF, but appears in random places). I looked around online, to try to figure out how to remove the header and footer (title and page number), and stumbled upon a forum that included codes to remove them. I am not good with codes, and it seemed foreign and difficult to me. After much frustration, I finally discovered a trick that I thought would work. I saw that you could use Mac OSX's preview application to crop the title and page number. What I did was select the entire page (from right under the title at the top, to right above the page number at the bottom. I saved the PDF, and that that was the solution to my problem. What I got was a nice, clean looking PDF without the title at the top of each page, and sans page numbers. I thought it was finally going to be able to convert to .mobi flawlessly, but when I saw the converted .mobi, the page numbers and title on each page were still there? Magic? How did that happen? Can anyone help me get rid of these pesky titles and page numbers on every damn page? I would be ever grateful. This is the only thing holding back my unconditional love towards my kindle.
TL;DR: | Need to get rid of page numbers and header on each page, while converting the PDF to .mobi. Tried calibre, and preview. Help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Worried about getting into grad school for Comp Sci
POST: So I'm a junior math major/comp sci minor at a pretty decent US university and frankly, I'm scared shitless about getting into a decent grad school after undergrad.
I've always wanted to go to grad school after undergrad, but I'm really worried about my GPA. It's not mortifyingly terrible (2.89) but clearly its not stellar either. It's not that I have trouble with the material, its just that my procrastination has dealt me a couple of severe blows and sometimes freeze up on tests.
I've been working with a post-doc on his research for about a year and by the time I graduate I should be co-author on two publications which I hear really helps, but I don't know how much this will compensate for my GPA.
Give it to me straight Reddit, how hard is it going to be to get into grad school? How much do they focus on GPA, interviews, essays, etc?
TL;DR: | I want to go to grad school for comp sci but my GPA isn't very good though I'll be co-author on two publications by the time I graduate. How do these two things affect each other? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I'm 19 years old and I have arthritis. I need advice...
POST: I tore my ACL and meniscus 2 years ago playing tennis. I had surgery a few weeks later and it was painful. I hated the whole experience. But I knew I needed it. I listened to my doctor and my physical therapist and I thought I was doing fine. But I was still in pain and I had no range of motion in my knee. The doctor said I needed another surgery because scar tissue had built up in my knee. I was devastated. I decided to get a second opinion from another doctor and he agreed with my original doctor. So I had another surgery 3 months after my first surgery.
This was all 2 years ago in 2009. Since then I have regained all range of motion but I'm still in a lot of pain. It hurts to walk most days and sometimes I can't walk at all. I was told about a different doctor further from where I live who specialized in Orthopedic pain so I decided to ask him what was going on and if he could fix it. That's when he told me that I have early stages of arthritis. He says I will definitely need total knee replacement in 20 years and that there is nothing I can do for the pain.
So I guess I'm just asking how I can live with this. I feel so pathetic right now knowing that I'm not going to be able to do simple things like go up stairs without being in pain. I just need helpful words and maybe options for what I can do... Thanks for reading if you did
TL;DR: | Had 2 surgeries for an ACL and meniscus tear and found out 2 years later I have arthritis--- all at the age 19. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 F] with my SO [24M] of 2 years, I got him a big surprise and would love some ideas on how to deliver!
POST: I figured you could use a break from some of these crazy stories and help someone with a good thing!
So we're both students. He has an oooold MacBook that runs slowly and keeps getting viruses. He said he was just going to get a cheap crappy laptop for $150 or so, I told him not to.
When I say "big surprise" I mean I have never gotten anyone something this expensive before, a refurbished laptop that doubles into a tablet (a PC this time, he says he is done with Macs). It's smaller and perfect for him to lug around... I payed almost $500 for it.
I'm giving it to him tonight. I was going to wait until his birthday (December) but figured it will be really useful for the current semester. It's his early birthday/Christmas gift and he has no idea it's coming.
Redit, do you have any sweet, funny, or thoughtful ideas for the delivery of my gift?
TL;DR: | Got my boyfriend a laptop since his is almost shot, could use some ideas on how to make the delivery of the surprise complete! |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by letting my friend change my ringtone
POST: A couple days ago, I was hanging out with my friends playing games and shit, when suddenly one of my friends (let's call him "Bob") asks if I can borrow my phone so he can check something. I say sure and decide to give him my phone. A couple minutes later I get my phone back from Bob, but I noticed that he had a huge grin on his face, but me being the dumbass that I am think nothing about it. Fast forward to Friday in the middle of math class, when all of a sudden my phone is receiving a call from somebody, but instead of playing the ringtone that was originally on there, a really racist song starts playing out loud on full volume(here is the song link if you want to listen to it: www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXb5L32hcmQ) and i get a few death stares from a couple of the African-american and Hispanic kids and the teacher decides to kick me out of the classroom. Never have i ever felt so humiliated in my life before. I now feel like committing seppuku.
TL;DR: | let a friend borrow my phone, friend changes ringtone to racist song, phone goes off in class, now i want to kill myself |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [M/21] girlfriend [F/21] of 5 years has suddenly changed?
POST: Okay I dont know where to begin but I need to say this and get some advice. When I was younger, I met this beautiful woman that eventually became my girlfriend. Over the years, we have had our ups and downs like any relationship.
This is the girl who would always love seeing me and we would have a blast for hours. This year though, I have noticed that she has not been acting the same way as she used too. Whenever I would see her, she would try to quickly get me to leave. She became more secretive about who she was texting. She would often cancel plans when I wanted to see her. Our conversations over the phone our through text would become her just saying some short replies like "Ok" and "Yeah" etc.
I finally said that enough was enough and decided to confront her about this. When I asked her about why she has been acting so different recently, she told me that she doesn't know what she wants from our relationship anymore. I was confused because we have always been so close throughout the years. I asked her when she started to feel like this and she got annoyed and kept saying that she doesn't know.
We decided that we were going to ride this out and see how it goes but her way of doing this is to just push me aside until she says she might "feel different". I don't want this relationship to end and I want to try anything to help make it better.
My question to you people is, have you ever been in a relationship where this has happened? Any advice on how you dealt with it or fixed it? Thank you all.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend of 5 years suddenly has changed. Says she doesnt know what she wants from this relationship anymore. Need advice on how to deal with this or what made her change. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Age Registrictions VS Educational Restrictions thoughts?
POST: So I've been thinking lately (dangerous stuff) that we should remove age restrictions and instead replace them with education restrictions. First, let me say that I don't believe in big government at all, but it's a reality in our world and I don't see a way for there to be a successful country with little government or a complete lack there of. I don't want to argue this point because government and opinions on it are entirely subjective and if you don't agree with me than that's chill but I'd rather focus on the topic at hand.
My idea basically works like this, in order for you to drive a car you'd have to be 15/16 depending on what the state allows, but instead of waiting until you're 18 to have your restrictions removed (driving past 12am for example) you'd just wait until you graduate high school, the same thing would go or cigarettes, a credit card, or anything that requires you to be 18 years of age, in essence a HS diploma/GED would be the equivalent to being 18 years old in our current system.
To take this further, the government could enforce a law that states you need an associates, or two years of formal education at a higher level institution to be granted access to restrictions that are 21+. So if you wanted to drink alcohol for example you'd have to attend college for two years and have something to show for it; proof of enrollment with the goal of a four year degree or an associates degree. If per chance you never ended up getting your degree the two years of higher education would simply be enough to continue enjoying the perks of being 21+ in our current system.
Ultimately, I think this is a much better system because it really makes education an even bigger factor in our lives and even if you hate committing the two years to college so you can buy alcohol then at least you got some knowledge and knowledge is pretty cool and useful.
does this sound feasible? Or is this just crazy talk?
TL;DR: | change age restrictions to education restrictions, ergo HS diploma = 18 and two years of formal education at a Uni or College would be the equivalent of being 21+ |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [23 M] with my gf [27 F] 3 mo. Not traditional. How bad can moving together be?
POST: - GF hates her job and doesn't make great money
- GF pays rent month to month. Can easily move in with me
- Jokes she wants to work for me. I know she really does
- I run my own business and work from home
- I make about 5x her salary
- I love having her company
All that considered, we've been seeing each other about 3 months. We hit it off great, have been on a nice vacation, and my family already loves this girl. She's basically been living at my place the past month, and it's been amazing. Endless sex, home cooking, and having a clean place.
Here's my question. Is it weird for a couple to move in together with a low expectation of long term success? I feel like people usually move in with the person they think is "the one".
Do people ever say, "we should move in for 6 months, and re-evaluate what we want from each other"? I feel like I can give her a much better job, valuable skills, and help her be financially independent which I know she really wants. I'm happy to let her live with me free, so expenses aren't really an issue.
Btw I'm not rich and privileged. She's not using me for my money or anything like that.. But I'd be fine with that haha
TL;DR: | gf hates her job, wants to work for me. I'd love to hire her and have her live with me. I think we'd both like to use each other in the short term, but not focused on long term plans |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20M] with my crush/GF-to-be (?) [20F] - confessed love to her, was I too fast?
POST: Hello. Long story short. I met this gorgeous girl about 2.5 weeks ago and we 'clicked' very well. We started hanging out a bit, went for a coffee, contacted on Facebook or talked on the phone. From the very first moments after we met, I thought about her as 'something more'. And indeed, it was 'something more'. I invited her to my place a couple of days ago, a day after she invited me. We had an amazing night (no sex, though.). We were kissing and I told her that I love her. She agreed, told me the same thing after a minute or so. I am dead sure that she is in love with me, I just feel it. And she feels that way too.
But my question is: was I too fast to confess her such things? Should I take it slow? Is it any rule that concerns time after you can tell another person that you are in love with him or her? Of course not. I don't want to play those dating games, like 'I am permitted to tell her that I love her at least 3 months after we met, I am not gonna tell her this now!' and so on. Both me and her are very compatible, she told me that she cares about me and don't want to lose me as someone who is nearby. She didn't change her behaviour after I told her that, just the opposite. We had a long walk yesterday and she told me that she really enjoyed her time.
So Reddit, did I behave wrong? I wouldn't like to scare her off. Or maybe I'm just making problems which do not exist...
TL;DR: | Is confessing love after 2-3 weeks of relationship is too fast if both me and her feel the same way? |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: I need help in a somewhat stressful situation. [Serious]
POST: [typical high school drama] This girl, who we'll call Ashley, doesn't have the best reputation for being with a bunch of guys in the past. She stopped being like that since those times, but some still bother her about her old rep. The other girl, we'll call her Carly (the one I'm in love with, has dated, and has a very intimate friendship with), will not leave Ashley's rep behind her. She constantly refers to her as a slut and such things. I'm close friends with both of them.
After my soccer game today. Me and a few of my teammates are waiting to go home. We're on my phone when all my text come in. A message from Carly, who's apparently mad, pops up which says,
"Well i guess u r over me and now like "Ashley". well have funn and try not to get any sexual diseases."
Ashley's right here and sees that message. She burst into tears because this a recurring thing. Me and her boyfriend try to comfort her. She leaves, gets to the car, and burst into tears with her mom. Her mom demands she tells her what happens. She does and her mom goes to the principal.
Now, Carly, who I like, is gonna be pissed at me cause she is going to get in trouble. (who cares) Not my fault your text comes through as the person it is about is watching.
The Problem is I really love "Carly" and she's gonna get in big trouble. (We go to a Christian school and stuff as simple as that causes a lot of problems.) I'm friends with "Ashley" so i had no choice but to let her know. (Though she would've seen it anyway)
I am very stressed out with other stuff at school and home. I know it seems surprisingly elementary, but I'm dealing with alot. I cannot take this crap and i need your opinion. thanks in advance. (btw this all happened today 3/4/14, and the shitstorm shall start tomorrow)
TL;DR: | My female friend got a message from my ex/"love of my life". Female friend took it to principal. Love of my life will get in major trouble and blame me. Currently awaiting the storm of crap. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Ordered custom furniture, company won't produce product. (KY)
POST: I ordered furniture from a local shop here in KY that is a reseller for Klaussner (out of SC). Ordered custom sofa / loveseat on Aug. 2. We were told 5-6 weeks. 12 weeks later we have no clear answer on when to expect it. We've been given the run around from the owner since week 4. We paid in full (with a check) when we placed the order. We have no contract, nothing in writing (other than a receipt), no money, and no furniture. Turns out the company has an F grade from BBB, and is in bad standing with the KY Secretary of State.
TL;DR: | How long do you give a company before asking for your money back on custom made items that missed the verbal deadline? Or is it better to just take them to small claims and let the court sort it out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24M] met a girl [17F] and have some problems
POST: Hello, not a native english speaker, sorry for my english.
So i met a girl let's say Ilonka. We talked a lot on facebook, after that she says that she wants to meet me so i said okay. She said that we should see each other the next day, so i said okay please just text me because i have some things to do, (it was saturday) so if you cant come it's okay just tell me so i know. i stayed at home because well i thought that she would text me, etc. She didn't, when it was i think in the evening i texted her and she said that she forgot she's sorry,etc , i told her that she should;ve text me because almost all my day was gone, and i was kinda upset, and it's not okay not to text someone when you said that you will, and it's not okay to forgot some things.
Well, everything was okay, we met once, etc. Today she asked me if we could meet again, i said okay, she told me she would text me, i asked when, she said: later. okay, it was almost midnight and no text. she send me a text on facebook about which picture should she use for her profile pic. i was like what the heck you didn't text me nothing, and now from nowhere you asked me about some picture. I was kind of upset, she said she sorry, didnt give me a reason why she didnt text. i told her that when she's grow up she should text me. She goes kinda insane and told me that i should think before telling something and that she forgive me about what i just said.
Am i the asshole? Am i in the wrong side? i really need some opinions because i don't know if i'm right or wrong. It was too hard the sentence about growing up? thank you
TL;DR: | met a girl she said she would text me before me met, she didn't (twice), and i am kinda upset. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By thinking a picture was actually Reddit
POST: So I only discovered Reddit a few months ago, although I'd heard about it for years, I had feared the impending addiction, as oft happens to me when I discover a new website, so I abstained, until recently.
You can all remember when you first arrived here, it can be confusing, well, it was for me. And took a good ~~week~~ month of casual browsing to start to get to grips with everything, and trust me I'm still not there.
So anyway, since, in a moment of ill-gotten self belief that I can somehow fix computers when the power socket on my laptop had finally divorced all lust for the jack on the charger, and I took it apart piece by piece, until all that was left was dust, I have been forced to use my SO's bright pink tablet to peruse the web.
Now, about three weeks ago, whenever I opened Reddit (usually as soon as she goes to bed, or when the soaps are on), there is a prompt to switch to 'mobile theme'. I tried it once, but as I had only just got used to the desktop format, I really couldn't be arsed re-learning.
So in the last few days I'd discovered more things like 'save' and such (I know, I know, but give a guy a break, I'm 42, not as tech savvy as you young whippersnappers) and found that because I was using the desktop version on a tablet, things weren't conforming properly, so I decided to find an app.
Went to Google play, clicked on the first app that came up and checked out the screenshots.
This is the FU.
I got into the [screenshot] so much that I forgot it was a screenshot and thought it was Reddit, and hence, when I wanted to find out how to bandage a finger without it turning round, and the screen was non responsive, I started cursing my GF's tablet and tapping the screen like a petulant child trying to get any thread to open, until I must have swiped, and it took me to another screenshot to the right.
At which point I felt like a proper fucking idiot.
TL;DR: | As a newbie I've become so obsessed with Reddit I thought a screenshot of it in Google play was actually Reddit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Meeting new people and miscellaneous feelings that I need advice on. Me m21
POST: Recently I went through a rough break up and im trying to move on. Im also trying to get out of my depression or at least get it under control.
I honestly need friends. I only have a few. I live in a state where not a lot goes on. I live in Michigan and I dont know how to meet people. Where would I even start? Ive done dating sites and they aren't doing it for me. Half the people I message never respond and im generally not interested in anyone else either.
Im also trying to really find myself. Ive come such a long way but im lacking a social life. It might also be why im having a difficult time with the breakup because I latched on to her even as she's currently moving on and talking to other guys.
Im trying to figure out how to make myself happy as well. Im currently at a book store and getting out isn't really making me happy. What can I do to make myself happy with me. Because until im happy with myself, im only going to have heartache and poor relationships.
TL;DR: | im looking to meet new people and hopefully build strong relationships, either friendships or romantic relationships. But I dont know how to be happy with myself anymore. Nothing I do seems to be working. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: What should I [19/M] say to my [18/F] friend?
POST: I cut someone out of my life and now I'm regretting it. I've known this girl since grade 7. We've never been truly close, but she's always been good to me. This pass March she insisted on throwing me a birthday party. I know that sounds amazing, and it is, but for some reason I couldn't help but wonder why someone who I haven't been close with, would throw me a birthday party? that's when I began to question her motives. I know that sounds ungrateful, and I admit it was, but we had a very unconventional friendship. I'd essentially pay her money for her to allow me to fondle her feet. I couldn't help but wonder if the only reason she was throwing me the party, was because she pitied me or because she felt obligated to because I'd given her money. No matter what the reason, I felt guilty. Even if it was simply because she was being a good friend to me, I still feel guilty because I questioned her friendship.
TL;DR: | I cut someone out of my life and now I'm regretting it. What should I say to convince her I'm sorry? |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: Should I stay where I'm at or move out west now
POST: Some background on me: I'm a 22y/o guy, I have a couple years worth of college credits but no degree. I'm dropping out of school because I'd rather become a plumber, I've spent a few summers helping my friends dad who's a water well driller and I occasionally assist my buddy when he works on his car, point is I like physical labor
I'm currently living in a city that's about an hour away from where I grew up, this area is all very familiar for me which is why I want to get away from this place. I want to live and experience a new place while pursuing a career I'll actually enjoy. The new location is Eugene, Oregon.
However, 2 months ago, I signed a year long lease, so I'd have to find a replacement roommate AND I'm on the east coast so Oregon is pretty far away and finding an apprenticeship from this distance seems very daunting. Yet, living here feels like I'm just spinning my wheels, because I don't want to be committed to the place I've grown up for another 5 years(assuming I
landed an apprenticeship where I'm at now) I also don't think just waiting for the lease to run out is a good decision either because then I'm just waiting around for something to happen. BTW My roommates are alright people, I don't have a problem with them.
TL;DR: | Do I try to find an apprenticeship online and move asap or do I wait it out for another 8 months? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Atheist redditors with religious families: how/when did you tell them? What was the aftermath like?
POST: Background: I was born and raised Catholic, and somewhere around the beginning of high school I began the downwards slide from Catholic to sort of vaguely Christian to agnostic to atheist. However, I've held off on telling my family (mom's side is catholic, dad's side is methodist, everyone is pretty religious). I'm not too worried about my parents' reactions, since they're A) pretty chill in most regards and B) my parents. However, I'm hesitant to "come out of the closet", as it were, because I don't know how my extended family would react. I wish they had an atheist family friend so that I could see how they'd react to it (acceptance, attempts at conversion, firm belief that they're going to hell, etc), but I really have zero evidence on how my family would deal with atheists. I'm kind of planning on waiting until I'm living on my own to deal with it (freshman in college now) since I'd be more insulated from any bad fallout. Since there's obviously potential for quite a bit of conflict and it's not terribly hard to keep up the pretense that I'm Catholic, I'm inclined to just live with the status quo for now. On the other hand, I hate having to live out this fakeness, and would much rather everyone knew about and accepted my beliefs.
TL;DR: | Raised Catholic but am atheist, universally religious family doesn't know, unsure of whether to tell them and risk drama or just keep pretending. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (M31)y wi(f28)e is incredibly demanding and sometimes it makes me resentful.
POST: I spose the title is a little misleading. For the most part I'm happy to do what I can. However there are days when it's just BAM BAM BAM BAM and it's all I can do to say "Yes dear" and hold my breath on the rest. It's nothing big really - take out the bins, mow the lawn etc. Like I said, nothing I'm not happy to do or wouldn't get around to without being prompted, it's just the prompting that gets me.
It just concerns me that my natural response (resentment) (which is not always, just when I'm tired and feeling criticised) may breed more negativity, and I'm wondering if there's a way to communicate some sort of pacing? Without having to crack and go off about it?
Further, some of the things are, in my mind, a little hypocritical. Like, cutting down time I spend with my friends when she would (and has) felt hurt when my friends have asked me to put them first before. And occasionally her paranoia extends into and she accuses me of cheating on her when the reality of the fact is mostly I just want space to myself.
TL;DR: | It's not very long really. I don't know. I think I'm mostly venting, but advice on how to tactfully approach this would be appreciated. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Help me 27m make amends with 31f.
POST: I dont even know if I want to tell the whole story on here because it's so personal. I dont meet with my therapist until wed so I have a couple options. Cry and wonder, or reach out for help.
I messed up and said some things that may have damaged the relationship between her and her tween daughter. The daughter has already had a hard life with 2 fathers ditching her, her mom is the only person she has that cares about her (besides grandparents). I was showing interest and helping the daughter learn how to program and design games. I feel like I was an awesome roll model and wanted to become her step dad if not adopt her completely to transition out of the last name of the guy who wants nothing to do with her. When things went down hill with me and her mom, I said things to the daughter about the mom that I shouldn't have.
I've sent her money to take her daughter on a flight and stay out in Monterey and visit the aquarium. She's so mad I'm not even sure if she plans on going.
I'm doing everything I can, sending flowers, saying I'm sorry, but it's almost like she thinks I don't mean it, or that I dont understand the gravity of the situation. I dont sleep at night I feel so much guilt, and if I do, I'm up at 4am in a cold sweet, turning over to see she's not there.
How do I make this right? I'll take however long, and spend every penny I have and write 1000's of apology notes if I have too.
Is there anything that would stand out to any parents our there to help make fix this or to move forward from it? I wont quit, it's just not who I am.
TL;DR: | I did something wrong to my family. I love her, I love the kids and I'm not afraid to take the time and do the things needed to get them back. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Need advice for renting in the East Bay Area and my current savings plan
POST: Hey guys!
I am 27 years old and after some health issues and being unemployed, I now am living rent-free with family in the outer East Bay. I have lived with them for over a year and while they are happy to have me, I want a plan to move out in the near future (next 6 months max).
I currently make almost exactly $100k gross (~5000 net monthly) with no medical benefits (contract worker). Since I have been living rent-free I have so far:
Paid off all debts. Contributing 10% pre tax to 403(b) with annual increase of 1-2%. Contributing $400/month to max out Roth IRA contributions . Putting $500/month into liquid savings for emergency fund. Pay $475/month for health insurance which will soon decrease when I get new insurance. I have about $200-300/month in other monthly bills.
Currently I have $10,000 in checking, $1500 in emergency funds, $5000 in 403(b), and about $2000 in my Roth IRA.
So what monthly rent should I look at for living in a place in Oakland with roommates? My thoughts have been spending $1000-1500/month but since I have a dog and need a place with hardwood floors for allergies so this restricts me a bit. Should I go higher if need be or stay at my current parameter? And am I on a good track savings wise?
TL;DR: | Make 100k gross, no debt, about 20k total money - what rent should I be looking at for living in Oakland in the near future and how is my savings plan? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: F22 + M28. Should I bother waiting?
POST: Hey guys, in case you dig through my post history, the update is that I found out the M28 I wanted to be in a relationship with - who admitted to having feelings for me - told me last week that he is not looking to date for a while, due to abusive relationships in his past (I do not think he is lying to get away from me, btw!).
So we ended it.
I still care about him, however, and was wondering if there is any hope? Should I be there for him as a friend once a few months have gone by? Should I just stop speaking to him forever (we're NC right now)?
TL;DR: | Broke it off with kinda BF because he can't handle a relationship right now. Should I even bother holding out hope / trying to stay in his life? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 18/M talking to 19/F, am I overthinking things after our first date?
POST: So for the past week and a half almost I've been talking to this girl I met online, things are going great and we talk daily and we shared great conversations, have a lot of similar interests and views, and its going pretty fast it seems, which neither of us have a problem with. We kind of talked like we've known each other for years and just clicked really well with each other, and had not issues with being very open about questions asked.She seemed really awesome and caring, and are both comfortable with meeting within a week.
We have our first date yesterday, on Friday... I picked her up, we go back to my place, cuddle for a bit, watch a few movies, and I realized she was really what she seemed like. One thing led to another, then after things happened I took her back to her dorm. (I asked her about dating cause we both seem very interested in it, and she wanted to give it another date or 2 before making it official)
After I dropped her off, she told me to stay calm and not overthink things (she picked up real fast that I do), so I agree, and to text her when I get home, so I do, we talk a bit and we go to sleep after.
Now it is Saturday, I was aware that she was going to be busy with her family, and then drinking later in the night, and warned me that I shouldn't text her cause her responses wouldn't be appropriate and wanted to keep a good image in front of me (I didn't really care if she did or not), so I just shot her a good morning text around 9 in the morning, and then I went on with my day. It got around to 6 in the evening and I haven't heard anything, so I decide to text her, I get a response, we talk for a bit, and now nothing.
So my question is, am I overthinking things and should I be worried or should I just remain calm and let things play out and hope that Friday night wasn't just a one-night stand kind of thing? If I am overthinking things, what is a good way to distract myself from doing so that I don't worry and bother anyone with it?
TL;DR: | Talking to a girl for a little over a week, we go on a date then I hear nothing the next day. Am I overthinking or not? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 M] missed the whole dating phase and now I have no idea what I'm doing. I have a date this weekend. When do you hold hands, kiss, etc? I'm clueless, help!
POST: So I met a girl when I was in college about 8 years ago and we were together for 7 years. About 8 months ago we split up and now I'm ready to see someone new. I have a date this weekend. The thing is, I haven't dated since high school and that's all I know about dating. I'm seeing this girl in a few days, and I have no idea how to carry myself. I'm a confident person and I really like her, but when is too soon to touch? To compliment her? Kiss? What's a good first date, a bad first date? Do we hold hands right away? I don't want to creep her out. In high school we just went to a cheap movie and made out. Seriously I am an adult now and have no idea what I'm doing. Help!
TL;DR: | Haven't dated since high school, now a grown ass man and don't know what's normal for my date this weekend. I'm like Tom Hanks in Big. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: [AZ] Landlord sold me a lease for an apt with a cable hookup, the wiring was a dummy and they won't fix
POST: About a week and a half ago I signed a lease for an apartment in this current complex after having toured the complex twice, and I even inspected my actual apartment before signing the lease. Once I signed the lease, they told me to call my local ISP to have my coaxial cable jack activated so my own modem and router would start working.
After a few back and forth phone calls over a day or two with the ISP, I eventually followed the wiring through my apartment and noticed that it had actually been cut. Although the wire ended in a coax cable jack in my wall, and was visibly displayed and promised to be working, the wiring did not go anywhere.
I called apt management and they told me this was not a problem, that all the ISP had to do was drill new wiring into the apartment.
Finally the ISP man came to do just that, but was denied access by management because he couldn't provide 'panduit' or 'conduit' or some kind of paneling that ran on the outside of the house.
ISP tells me they have never provided this service, but MANAGEMENT tells me it's in their contract with the ISP. This has now been going on for over a week, and I've been tethered to my phone's hotspot on my gaming desktop, while still paying the ISP for services I am not receiving. Last call recently I was told apartment ownership is looking at getting their own attorneys involved to force the ISP into action.
I do not have time for legal proceedings! I feel like I deserve accomodation while this matter is settled, and I shouldn't have to wait *weeks* for this to be resolved.
**What can I do?**
Can I refuse to pay rent, can I report them to an agency? Do I have to pay a lawyer a couple hundred bucks for a fancy letter?
TL;DR: | apartment management sold me an apartment with internet jack, the jack didn't work and apartment refuses to fix/let me get ISP to fix. What are my options? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By Stage Slapping My Girlfriend in a Starbucks
POST: This happened on Thanksgiving (Reporting from Canada here...) and after dinner my girlfriend and I decided to get Starbucks before I drove home.
While in there we were talking about dinner and joking about her cousin who enjoys poking and prodding people (he's 15). I jokingly suggested that I should just go up one day and fake slap him to scare him, at which point my girlfriend said that if you drama slap someone it's all in how the person who is being slapped responds.
So she shows me how you do it (without actually doing it because public place and all) and like an idiot I line my left hand on her check and slap it with my right. The sound is AW(depending on your perspective)SOME/FUL. Seriously, the sound would have made Marshall Eriksen proud and Barney Stinson's Sphincter tighten. It fills the Starbucks. The barista who is making our drink looked up at just the right time to see my girlfriend react (which was superbly done, face went to the side, everything) and she looks shocked, people at the back are cocking their heads to the side to see what happened.
At this point I look around because I feel that overwhelming force of eyes on me. I know I fucked up. The only thing that saved me is my girlfriend has a huge smile on her face, then realizes also what happened and starts laughing because between the look of "oh shit on my face" and the barista's look of "do I need to call the cops" she just laughed. Finally composing herself she looks at me and says, and questions why she takes me out in public.
TL;DR: | Stage slapped my girlfriend in starbucks, barista looked like she was ready to call the cops, girlfriend saved me and laughed it off though. |
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge
TITLE: Road Trip Rage
POST: A couple years ago my boyfriend and I took an awesome roadtrip from San Francisco to Seattle up Highway 1. Highway 1 is a really fun drive with lots of great scenery but in many places it is only 1 lane each way and can be very winding in places. Add in a terrifying amount of fog and you may see where this story is going.
Somewhere before we hit Oregon but after the Redwoods we got stuck behind a white VW Cabrio doing 5-10 miles under the speed limit. Sure there were dotted lines for passing but between traffic coming the other direction and limited visibility it seemed we would never get past. The line of cars went from 2 to 3 to 6 to 7. But at no point did we lose civility. There was no honking or tailgating or flashing of lights, we suffered in silence.
Finally, there was a big sign "slow traffic pull over in 1/4 mile" With a great sigh of relief we began to anticipate our freedom. Sure enough in 1/4 mile a pull out lane appeared on the right, the perfect opportunity for someone who doesn't feel comfortable going too fast to pull over and make room. We had seen it many times before, especially families in rented RVs, would pull over and we'd give a courtesy wave and pass by. But no, not this time, not this car. The Cabrio was either too dead set on carrying on or just totally clueless at the growing ranks of cars stuck behind them to bother pulling over and letting everyone pass. Demoralized and frustrated we continued to watch the motorcade grow to 13 vehicles trapped behind the evil white Cabrio. Several dotted passing lines came and went along with many gestures of exasperation from the drivers behind us. It seemed fate was not on our side this day until finally our moment came:
Wide open, clear visibility, straight road with a dotted line. We veer to the left and pin the throttle, open the windows and stick our fists out the window making bull horns as we rocket past the Cabrio. Much to our glee the next 3 cars behind us follow suit, also sticking their fists out the window as they pass.
The evil overlord overthrown, we each continued our afternoon drive at the pace of our choosing, and it was good.
TL;DR: | Stuck behind the same car for an hour, overtake them in a moment of glory and solidarity with fellow trapped cars. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Communication is difficult between me [34M] and my girlfriend [29F] of 6 months
POST: I feel like I'm learning not to talk to my girlfriend, or rather I'm learning to talk to her as little as possible. This is because I feel like her responses are never nice. She is constantly either argumentative, pat, dismissive, defensive, or a mix of all of them. I am not getting what I need: empathy, attempts at understanding, the benefit of the doubt, compassion, compromise. The compromise I do get comes with something that feels like resentment, manifested with an attitude of "let's just get through this".
Example: I'm kind of into board games and I asked her if she wanted to play one with me. She paused and said "sure". I let her pick one, we started playing, and she was in a shit mood the whole time. I hope it's understandable that this makes it hard for me to enjoy it. I asked her gently what was up and whether she was having fun. She said "as much as last time". She wouldn't make eye contact with me the whole time without giving me a "what?!" face, and she was stoic and nearly silent the whole time. I was glad when the game was over. I would have ended it early but that would have escalated the situation so I just kept my enjoyment face on and hammered it out so we could move on. I don't know why she couldn't just say she wasn't into it.
Most of our conversation seems to include parts wherein one of us is correcting the other or disagreeing without signs of listening. I've noticed this and I'm trying to adjust my communication, but it seems like the only "constructive" thing I've been able to do is to interact less and less. She seems to get way emotional very quickly and it raises the stakes on the simplest of conversations. Stuff like which car to drive and what to eat for dinner have me on edge, and it feels like any conversation where we have differing opinions needs to be resolved or avoided as quickly as possible because of how emotionally charged it will inevitably get.
I'm concerned that this is my fault and I need to understand what I can do better.
TL;DR: | Disagreeing with gf in any way gets way out of hand and I wonder how I can know if it's my fault. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [20/f] My boyfriend [20/m] of 2+ years is looking for girls on r/dirtypenpals; what do I do?
POST: He's always been a Redditor and we usually go on together; about a week ago he was Redditing on his phone but wouldn't show me what he was doing. I noticed it was a different username than the one he normally uses. I searched it later that day and he's made a bunch of posts on r/dirtypenpals (a NSFW subreddit; it's basically a bunch of people looking to talk dirty online/send nude Snapchats/whatever). He's been asking to roleplay scenarios, message girls, asking for kiks/snapchats, and just talking about different sexual fetishes.
I did a bad thing.
I know his passwords so I logged in as him. He had over 50 messages in his inbox: nudes, Snapchats, kiks, dirty messages. He even made a separate Snapchat username.
I am devastated. We have had a very happy, healthy relationship and our sex life is not lacking in quality or quantity. We're both college students and we spend plenty of time together; I have never been worried about anything like this before. He has also never communicated any of these sexual desires to me before and I am wondering why.
What do I do? Do I admit I was being a creep and ask him about it? Do I hope it just stops? If this is going to continue I can't stay with him.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend is sending sexual messages to girls via Reddit but I found out by being semi-creepy, previously happy/healthy relationship is in jeopardy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[18M] with my 'girlfriend' [19F] on/off 7 months, she's indecisive about being public
POST: Hello everybody, thanks for reading, I'm in a really tough spot right now. Be blunt and brutally honest if necessary.
This girl I've been on/off with is somebody I've loved for a very long time, she was my best friend for 3 years before I finally swept her off her feet. She's my first love and I'd do anything for her. Problem is, when I 'broke the friend zone' she was in a relationship. We agreed not to do anything until she broke up with him, so when she did I thought we would be able to be together.
What happened instead is the relationship has gotten really complicated. I know she loves me based on how she acts around me, but she doesn't want to be public about the relationship at all. She is to certain people, but when it comes to her family and her close friends, nobody knows about us. I find this frustrating, but I ignore it because I love her and I want her to be happy.
I feel like we should be able to be more public now, but she's afraid of being judged because the guy she used to be with was very popular amongst her family, despite making her unhappy.
Myself and her are serious, we've had sex and we try to have a date or two per week with each other, and we talk almost every day. I want to be able to transition smoothly for her to being more public about our relationship, without making her feel like I'm forcing her to.
Even if this requires rebuilding the relationship or something like that. I just don't know where to start, which is why I made this account and this thread.
Thanks in advance for the help.
TL;DR: | Finally won the heart of a girl I've loved for years, now she doesn't want to be public about the relationship even though we've been together for 7 months. How to start transitioning to being more public? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] of 2 years thinking about breaking up over our sex life
POST: I'm fairly happy with my girlfriend, but ever since the beginning it's felt like I haven't had the same effort reciprocated back to me when it comes to sex. She's a very shy person and I always just assumed it would get better as she came out of her shell. It honestly has gotten worse.
I always initiate, which I'm usually fine with, but it'd just be nice to feel wanted like that sometimes. It makes me feel like I'm more attracted to her than she is to me. When she says she's tired I offer to do the work and just let her relax, but if I say I'm tired we just don't do anything. We also almost never have sex more than once in a day. We've done it twice maybe 2-3 times, but we've never had those all day or all night events that should happen in passionate relationships (in my opinion).
I'm also a very sexually adventurous person, where as she can be very vanilla in the bedroom, claiming to have to no kinks. Which kind of discourages me to bring up mine. We have handcuffs and toys that we buy, then use once or twice and then they just gather dust.
We've both talked and fought about this and things will change on either side for a little bit and then it just goes back to normal. I don't want to break up but it feels like that's the direction we're headed in. Is there a different way I should approach her with this?
TL;DR: | I don't feel like I'm getting the same energy given to me that I'm putting in sexually and I don't want to break up. How would you talk to her about this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21F] have a 'crush' on [24/M], don't know if I should make a move?
POST: So I work at a lot of different stores for my job and there's a guy at one of them that has recently become very nice after previously being pretty cold, and seemingly disinterested in life.
Naturally when anyone is nice to me I instantly 'fall in love' and now have a stupid crush that I can't seem to get over. I'd really love to make a move and in most other situations I would, but I'm afraid of rejection and just general embarrassment because I can't avoid him if it doesn't go well, and I also hate the thought of other people in the workplace knowing and discussing it.
I don't know him too well, which is just why I'd like to ask for a drink sometime or something, but he seems nice enough not to be a dick about it. I just don't know whether to make a move, or just forget it
TL;DR: | want to ask a guy on a date but I can't avoid him if he says no/I totally misjudged him and he's awful about it |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Reddit, how do I deal with feelings of overwhelming envy?
POST: I'm sincerely *tired* of being so envious and jealous. It's not even exciting anymore. I can't even turn into something witty or snide. I never cared that it made me look like a bratty, immature spiteful 'hater', but at this point in my life, I just am tired of it eating my soul away. I feel like it brings me so much unhappiness. Envy leads to anger and bitterness, and often usually, depression and feelings of worthlessness. It's like a cancer I can't seem to remove from myself. I try to be grateful for what I have, and I know I'm lucky, but not nearly as much as some of my relatives, friends...strangers. It's all very childish, but I can't help it.
I can hardly be happy for other people's accomplishments because I feel worthless in comparison, so I guess I try to appease myself by being a total prick about it. I hate seeing other people have nice things, especially when I feel like they never have to work for them, it's literally, just handed to them. But really, what I find most disturbing and yet unshakable in me, is how I envy *people's happiness*. I feel like a vampire. Sometimes I sincerely want to suck the happiness out of people just so they're as miserable as I am. God, this sounds so awful, but it's sadly, how I feel.
TL;DR: | My envy is eating away at me, I feel like an emotional vampire and I'm just tired of being like this, but it seems so wrapped in my psyche, I don't even know how to live without my envy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I (21 M) have been on a couple dates with a girl (22 F) that I went to college with. I could see myself marrying this girl. I'm wondering how long my fellow Redditors spent courting their significant others.
POST: So this girl, we'll call her "Maya", went to the same college I did. We kissed a couple of times in college, and would always dance when we saw each other out at the bar. But Maya and I were never anything more than that.
About six months after we graduated, I decided to ask Maya on a date. She said yes, and we had an awesome evening together cooking dinner at her apartment. We went on one more date after that. Since then, she has cancelled a couple of would-be dates we had made due to scheduling conflicts.
Normally, I wouldn't deal with that. My general rule is that if a girl cancels on me twice, I move on. But it's different with Maya. I think her excuses for cancelling were legitimate, and as I said, I have a major thing for her.
But I also think Maya is using the cancellations to figure out how much effort I'm willing to put in to dating her. It sounds stupid, but she knows she's a quality girl. She's never slept around, she's kind, she's funny, and is generally a great person. She wants to make sure I'm for real before she lets her walls down.
So my question to you, Reddit, is this -- how long did you spend courting the person you knew was the one for you? It's a strange feeling for me to continue to pursue a person after they have broken two dates. I'm curious about you all's experience with situations like this.
TL;DR: | Girl I like has broken dates and shut down my advances, but I think she likes me too. How long should I spend "courting" her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by destroying the lawn mower
POST: So this happened about 10 years ago, when I [22M] was a little 12 year old shithead.
I was instructed by my stepmother to mow the lawns. Apparently 5 inches high on a country property in AUS is TOO LONG.
It was 40 degrees celcius and I was sweating like crazy. I immediately tried to argue this 'order' from the dragon to which I received: "Mow the fucking lawns!" Righto bitch-tits, let me die in the heat then.
So away I went, filled up the ride-on mower with petrol, checked the oil, chucked on my ipod with mufflers over the top to protect my little ears.
Well I thought I broke the Australian speed mowing record that day, riding the mower up towards the house, all I could think about was how good a job I had done.
Little did I know that I was heading for a new garden bed that had been put in between the house and me. Well I just drove straight over this wood and steel built side of the garden, obliterated the new plants, and bent the blades to shit. The blades went up through the motor belt and chassis of the mower, then broke off and straight into the motor.
This was not a good move, as my dad and stepmum saw the whole thing.
The next thing I remember was the mower catching on fire, dad running to get the fire extinguisher and my stepmum screaming: " YOU FUCKING IDIOT, YOU ARE THE WORST FUCKING CHILD ON THE EARTH".
I got grounded for like a year, and basically verbally abused for the next month about how much of a disgusting piece of shit I was.
TL;DR: | Broke Aus mowing record, ran over a garden bed, blew up the ride-on mower, grounded forever. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: (CAN) Can a "college experience" justify a more expensive university?
POST: Throwaway for privacy. I will try to keep this brief.
My financial situation: Senior in high school, ~$4,000 in savings, no current job, RESP from parents worth ~$20,000, upper middle class with parents probably earning ~$200,000+ a year (not sure exact salary).
I am currently applying for universities, and though I will apply to several, I'm really only going to probably choose between two. University A being more prestigious (one of the top universities in Canada). University B is slightly less acclaimed, though still respectable, and cheaper. With this university there is also the guarantee of a sizeable ($10,000+) scholarship directly dependant on my grades. There's a chart on their website that X grade = X scholarship.
The problem is this: The reason university B is so much cheaper is that I will not be living on campus. It will take ~30 minutes by bus to get there, versus 1.5 hours for university A. The tuition itself is only slightly less, but adding the cost of a mandatory food plan and a room makes university A about ~$18,000 per year versus maybe $8,000 for university B.
At this point in my life I feel very ready to get a little more independence and live on my own. University A also has a very specialized and acclaimed first year program that I'm very interested in. My parents have said that they will help me a lot, but they're certainly not going to go into massive debt for me, nor would I want them to. I'm not planning on getting a car, the university pays for a free transit pass, and I'm not the type to spend a lot on clothes or booze. I'm willing to work throughout my first and second year and during the summer, and my program has co-op opportunites. I will probably accrue some loans, but probably not a lot. For what it's worth Canada has recently announced that student loans no longer need to be paid until I'm making at least $25,000 a year, if that matters. What are your thoughts?
TL;DR: | Choosing between a more expensive university with a better potential experience and a less expensive university where I'll still live at home. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: I [23M] and a good friend of mine [20F] decided today that we want to get married.
POST: Before I begin, both I and my future wife are in Wisconsin, USA.
However, we are planning on this being only a temporary marriage. I'm gay and want kids and she, after having a rough childhood, wants stability and someone who can be at her side to help her into the future.
We were thinking about looking into a contract- a prenup of sorts that would lay the foundations of a temporary, 5 year marriage since that'd be plenty of time to have kids while providing her the stability to finish up college. We were looking to define the terms within a context of a prenup- near-separate finances only share the costs of living that affect us both while also helping to take care of the kids. As for the children, we were looking to defining the terms of custody with the terms being something comparable to every other week.
Ultimately, we plan on the marriage being fairly open and we are only intending it to last 5 years with a divorce that will hopefully be as clean cut as possible.
So with all of this in mind, what, if any, legal ramifications do we need to be prepared for? (We're in the US btw) How would we go about establishing this contract and how effective would it be in a divorce? We still intend to be in each others' lives as friends and may even share a house or a duplex so that the kids can be around us.
And finally, what would be the best way to go about explaining this to our families? Has this kind of thing been done before and is there has there been any research looking into the total effect of such a marriage?
TL;DR: | I and my friend are looking to enter a utility marriage and we want to know what the best way to do it is. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23F] with my dad [40 something M], contacting him after he left my mom [42F] when he found out she was pregnant.
POST: Hello,
So, a couple of weeks back, I had to rush my mom to the hospital and we started talking about the families that we saw in the emergency room and she told me in passing that I should get in contact with my dad.
Now, my dad left my mom when they were 19 years old and found out that she was pregnant with me. Turns out that his family doesn't approve of her since she's not a doctor while his whole family is and my mom raised me by herself. In my 23 years of experience, I've never met him once. Although, every few years he tries to get into contact with me, the most "recent" was 8-9 years ago when he went to my grandmother's house and hoped that I was there.
Anyway, I shelved the idea of meeting him cause I was lazy to look for him but I came across his dad's contact details when I was looking for a doctor to have my injury assessed.
When I saw the details, I decided to do a full person search then I came across his SIL and brother's Facebook accounts (I don't think he has cause I've been looking non stop and I've gotten nowhere. I even thought he's already dead but apparently he's still alive based on his SIL's pictures). I asked my mom if I should contact him; she said yes but asked me for what purpose and also wanted me to be ready for the consequences. I told her that I just want to meet him. For closure perhaps? but honestly, I don't feel empty not knowing him. Just incredibly curious.
So reddit, do you think I should contact him and invite him for coffee to get to know him or would it be better if I don't and forget about him for the rest of my life?
Thank you so much
TL;DR: | Mom told me to contact my dad. Didn't take it seriously until I saw my dad's father's contact details while searching for a doctor to treat my injury. Should I still contact him after 23 years of not knowing him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [21/f] i don't think my (28/m) SO would love me if we didn't have sex.
POST: it's breaking my heart.
little bit of back story: I was first raped by a boyfriend, when I was 13, I was then raped by a stranger while I was living in the USA on my 15th birthday. My dad left to live in America when I was around 4 and I turned to the road of finding any man I could to "love" me when I was 11... Since being raped I've been strange about sex - I need control, I need to know I can say no, I need to know I'm safe.
My SO.. I guess he's never had any girl say "no" to him before, they just fell at his feet. I've always seen sex as an obligation... a way to have someone fall in love with me (i know, i know...) and when someone loves me, I'm no longer under any obligation.. you don't need to have sex all the time to stay in love.. sex doesn't make love..
I don't feel I am able to say no to my SO - when I do it turns into a huge argument. He asks for hand jobs or blow jobs instead, he complains, he tells me I don't love him.. argues that I did it with all those other boys when I was younger, why not him? I don't know what to do.. We've broken up before - we came back to each other after both being with other people.. I do believe we love each other, I just think there's a lot of me that he doesn't love. I don't think he accepts my issues or problems - I don't address them because I don't feel ready.
I don't know what to do, or how to compromise, or how to talk about this.. we've been together for over a year..help me.
TL;DR: | Been together for over a year, I've got serious issues with sex, and he gets angry with me every time I say no. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] with my girlfriend of 1 year [18 F], friends keep interfering with our relationship.
POST: I apologise if this is poorly written but, it's a bit hard to explain.
As the title states, my girlfriend and I have been dating for around about a year now. I feel that we have a solid relationship, however it's not without the occasional disagreement (which I have always thought is normal in relationships).
Right now, I'm on holiday with my family. Some hours ago, my girlfriend told me that her friends have been trying to convince her to break up with me. She said that she was just brushing it off and trying to get them to shut up. She won't tell me exactly what they said but apparently she would be better off without me.
My girlfriend has told be that it bothers her that they were talking like that and doesn't know what to do - about what they are saying and with me. Evidently, this too is bothering me and I'm not sure what to do/how to handle it. I'm annoyed at her friends for this and quite frankly our relationship is none of their business. I feel, however, that they are getting to my girlfriend and I feel helpless knowing that this is going on and I'm out of country.
/r/relationships, is there anything I should be doing/can do? Thank you in advance.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend's friends have been trying to convince her that she is better of without me while I'm out of country. What can/should I do, if anything? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Would you put it past your government to do this?
POST: I am certainly no expert on economics or politics. I have a grasp that i would say is better than the layman, and I am literate in these areas; there are concepts that I understand and I enjoy learning more about them but something has struck me and horrified me in turn. It is leaning towards conspiracy theory, a term I don't like as it has so many negative connotations, but its an apt term, and I realise how insane my idea might sound.
Would you put it past the government, or any group of people in power, to orchestrate a credit crunch? I mean, from my basic understanding the credit crunch didn't just appear out of thin air; it was caused by a slow erosion. If the media were to uncover the conspiracy that the credit crunch was orchestrated with a deficit in mind, would you believe this?
I say this because in my own country we are facing cuts, cuts that some consider are haphard and potentially damaging. However, the excuse is that in the long run they will help. It got me thinking that a deficit is a perfect boogeyman. It is intangible, can't be touched, can't be seen. It can be used to excuse any sort of behaviour.
In Britain, the measures our government is taking is meant to reduce the deficit over 5 years. However, in 5 years all kinds of ideas can be introduced as a means to end deficit, no matter how crazy it might sound. And once in place it becomes legitimized by the deficit.
So
TL;DR: | Would you put it past the government/elite group to orchestrate a credit crunch in order to bring about a deficit? Something that can be used to enact and legitimize otherwise unthinkable legislation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23 M] think I screwed up an opportunity with a [20 F] woman, what do I do now?
POST: Before I begin, I will actually point whomever reads this to the two previous posts that I have posted here so that you may understand the full context of this post right here.
As such, I have continued to speak with "Melissa" via Facebook and on Thursday, I truly believed I was making significant progress after I comforted her on how she carried herself during our presentation the previous day. Subsequently, Melissa made me blush after she had complimented me and I do not receive those all that often honestly.
Nevertheless, I messaged her the following day, with a very flirty message about what she was wearing Wednesday. And lo and behold, complete radio silence since though she has read it. Did I screw up something or am I reading too much into it and should continue on or move on?
TL;DR: | Send a flirty message to a young woman I'm interested in and she has not messaged me back since. Should I move on from here or do something else? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I need advice as to how to leave my abusive boyfriend that I live with.
POST: My boyfriend [36/m] has laid his hands on me [24/f] several times; he has substance abuse problems and a very bad temper that I believe is attributed to his problem. He has made promises that he would never do it again and that he would take care of me and protect me, but yesterday when I said that it was my goal to pay off my student loan in the next year, he said that he would be raising my rent and I would be paying more bills (like his phone bill) ** [he is also set to make 150k a year whereas I am about to graduate in December and make about 2k a month]. When I tried to ask for some understanding that I need to catch up, he pushed me, called me a cunt, said how replaceable I am and that I needed to get my stuff out by the end out of the month because I am so forgettable.
TL;DR: | I know I need to leave, but I am broke, without a vehicle, feel alienated, and my parents live out of town... I'm just looking for some advice as to how I should leave, especially with finals 2 weeks away |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25m] want to buy my GF [27F] a gift as a congratulations for getting in to grad school. Am I overstepping?
POST: Hi Reddit -
I'll try to keep this short. So , my girlfriend and I have been together for about a year, and lately she has just been super not into her job and wants to change careers. To do this, she has to go through a masters program. She's not where she wants to be financially, and this has really been stressing her out. This has been accelerated recently because she needs to get a computer to do her online work. I told her she could use mine, but I know that she really just needs her own.
She found one the other day that was a really good deal, but she didnt pull the trigger because of the money. I was really tempted to just say screw it and buy it, but I didn't want to come off as condescending. She does not like having to rely on other people for her success.
I on the other hand, am relatively successful for my age (Software Engineer at a large company right out of college), and financially I am in a very good spot. The few hundred bucks is not a big deal to me, and if it means she would be less stressed over the purchase of this computer - I would be happy to help her out.
I'm considering going out and just picking it up today and saying congratulations for getting in to school, I hope this helps you achieve your goals.
Would this come off as condescending? I am only trying to be helpful.
Thanks Reddit!
TL;DR: | Girlfriend needs a computer for an online masters program but doesn't have the funds readily available to purchase it herself. I do, but don't want to come off as condescending. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [23F] How much "verbal abuse" is normal?
POST: I put "verbal abuse" in quotes because I'm not sure how to define it. I grew up in a home where parents said things like "You're worthless," "You're stupid," "No wonder you don't have friends," etc. I realize that's "abusive." However when people get angry or are stressed, they also snap at people, sometimes calling them annoying or yelling at them to leave them alone. When does that become "abusive?"
I have two close friends, one who's barely ever even raised her voice to me, and another who criticizes me and/or yells at me every week or so. I'm not sure who's "normal" in that case.
My boyfriend who I've been with for about a year has rarely ever snapped at me, and if he does he apologizes later on-which seems a bit odd to me.
So I'm wondering, how much yelling, snapping at, and namecalling is appropriate in a normal relationship? When does it become abusive? I ask because I don't really have a way to gauge these things.
TL;DR: | People yell at each other and get upset with each other. When does that become "abusive?" Is it about frequency? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What are some good ways to de-stress or "get away from everything" in hard times?
POST: Bit of exposition... I've been having a shit time recently (living in a new city with very few friends, high-stress med school, girlfriend - who was the reason I moved to said city - just dumped me and I have to see her every day) and I'm starting to feel like I just need to get away or else I'll flip my shit completely.
I can't just drop everything and leave like I want to (I just don't have the heart to drop out and start again next year).
I've got a holiday/trip planned to go far, far away in the next holiday, but if you've got any ideas for maintaining sanity in the meantime I'd love to hear them.
TL;DR: | life is unpleasant, feeling like I'm going to lose my shit, wouldn't mind some advice on holding onto the aforementioned shit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: A couple of my [F/23] boyfriend's [M/25] female acquaintances always insincerely suck up to me. What's the deal?
POST: I want to preface this by saying that I trust my boyfriend 100% and am secure in our relationship. I have good self-esteem and don't get jealous. This is simply a matter of confusion and curiosity, because I don't play female games and have never understood them.
My boyfriend and I go out fairly frequently. He's very charming and funny, generally a wonderful person to be around and well liked by many. He's also easily recognizable because he's very tall and an unusual ethnicity in a town that is predominantly white. As a result, we often have many people (who he usually doesn't remember or recognize) come up to us claiming to know him.
He has good taste in people, and most of his female friends have become close friends of mine as well. However, occasionally he will have girls recognize him that he doesn't remember. Often these are girls who display some sort of interest in him. After he inevitably introduces me, they start sucking up to me and gushing about how he has such a beautiful, amazing girlfriend in the most insincere ways. While their interest in him doesn't bother me, I really, really hate suck ups. If you want me to like you, be sincere and don't try to flatter me. I don't need fake compliments to feel good about myself, thanks. I feel the same way about people who suck up in other settings, but this specific situation confuses me. What's their game? Why suck up to me while trying to catch his eye? It doesn't make sense.
TL;DR: | Why do women suck up to me when attempting (and failing) to flirt with my boyfriend? I don't understand their games... |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [24F] boyfriend [27M] proposed 2.5 months ago and has not bought a ring
POST: Hi. Okay here goes. My boyfriend "proposed" after pleading to come back after a breakup, using his grandmother's ring. After a long conversation, a lot of promises, and he asked my dad, I said yes. One of the first promises he made was to get me a different ring. He told me this in his proposal, so please don't think I only said yes, if I got a new ring. His grandmother's ring is beautiful, I'll keep it forever, but it isn't either of our style.
Fast forward 2.5 months and there is still no ring. We have one picked out, it's exactly what I want, and HUGE plus, it's $1200 UNDER the budget he set.
Other than this, he has up held all his other promises, and our relationship is going really well. Our communication is back to par, and the arguing is very minimal.
We have a date set for next March, and all the plans are made. He is completely on board with everything.
However, I want a ring. It means a lot to me. It's a symbol of our love, our commitment, and our future. Am I asking too much from him? Should I just be happy we're doing so much better, and we're on a path for a successful future?
Would you give an ultimatum, like a deadline? That seems super bitchy to me, so am I just a doormat? Help!
TL;DR: | boyfriend proposed with his grandmother's ring, promised a new one, we've picked it out, but 2.5 months later, he still hasn't purchased it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20F] am not happy with my relationship with [29M], but I don't know if it's my fault or his.
POST: My boyfriend [29] and I [20] have been dating for almost 10 months now and I'm not feeling very secure about our relationship, but I think he does. I feel like he doesn't appreciate me anymore and almost like he is only using me for sex.
I've tried everything I can think of. I've even brought it up with him before, but he just tells me that I am trying to change him and that I need to try to understand that he shows his emotions differently. I feel guilty when I bring up our problems, but he used to beg me to talk to him so he could try to fix it. Now if anything is wrong he tells me I am being silly and if the timing is right he blames it on my period.
He used to be so sweet and understanding and he always wanted to hang out. Now whenever we are together he just plays video games. He acts like it's a chore to cuddle with me. He won't even hold me when we sleep together anymore. Kisses seem like a nuisance, too. But he is always up for sex.
I've tried everything. I've bought him gifts, cooked things for him, I never say no to anything he wants to do even if it doesn't interest me, I try to talk to him, and I've made it very clear that I like being physical through actions other than sex.
He never smiles anymore unless we are with friends or he has been drinking. But as soon as we are away from friends he gets quiet again. He keeps saying he loves me, but it's not enough.
On top of all of this, I've developed a new crush on a boy who is always smiling at me and making me laugh. But I don't know how he feels about me. It would be complicated because his best friend is also the best friend of my boyfriend.
TL;DR: | ! My boyfriend tells me I'm silly for wanting affection and I am very unhappy with my relationship. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I can't catch a break and now I'm not the only one suffering...
POST: For the last two years I've had quite the streak of bad luck when it comes to jobs. From being told I had the job and them telling me they made a mistake, to having the position I worked at for a couple of months eliminated, or just having employers not wanting to work around my school schedule when they said they would when I was hired.
Anyways, I've always been able to have something and some sort of income coming in. The last two months however, I have been unemployed and unable to find anything. Done plenty of interviews but nothing has panned out. Now that I have about $30 to my name, my BF has really helped with expenses. This has caused some major stress in our relationship especially since he is due for a knee surgery next week and will be out for about a month. He had been trying to save as much as he could due to the injury and me being unemployed has put quite the kink in his plans.
I don't know what to do. I've sold everything of value, applied for every job possible and now I just feel like a worthless being to my BF. If only money grew on trees. Any and all advice, ideas and help would be much appreciated. My brain is fried from all these job applications.
TL;DR: | Can't find a job, BF is trying to save money before knee surgery but is also taking care of me, really putting stress on the relationship. Looking for ideas and help on what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Small claims won't provide a subpoena for past utility bills I was scammed on?
POST: *
TL;DR: | on the case: During communal living, the roommate who had the bills running through her name overcharged **heavily** for the bills and was cutting a profit off of me and a couple others. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: My childhood friend is squatting in a shed. How do I help him?
POST: My childhood friend (23 M) (we'll call him Lyle) has led quite the troubled life. His mother was a drug addict who dropped him as a baby. He needed surgery afterwards and his elderly great aunt and uncle sued his mother (their great niece) for custody of him. His mother moved into the home with her uncle and aunt and Lyle some years before passing away of a drug overdose when he was 15.
His uncle passed away when he was 20 and his aunt was placed in a palliative care unit as she was unwell thus leaving Lyle alone in the world.
This is where he starts making really poor choices. He ruined the grandparent's house by letting his deadbeat friends run rampant in it. He let them drive his uncle's car, (left to Lyle in the uncle's will) which they totaled. Eventually a family friend who was appointed by his great aunt as power of attorney intervened and evicted him from the aunt's house in order to fix it up and sell it.
Lyle moved into a place in the seediest part of the city with some people he claimed were gang members. He had a falling out with them and last I heard he was squatting in the shed behind his (currently unoccupied) aunt and uncle's house.
He tried to live with the family friend with power of attorney, but they had a fight and he was kicked out. I've heard rumors that Lyle gambles, stole money from his sick grandmother, and has been diagnosed with schizophrenia (I don't necessarily believe this, he was always a weird kid and I could see a doctor who didn't know or understand him reading his peculiarities as symptoms) He's still working a pretty decent job right now...from the shed.
I grew up doing tae kwon do with this kid. I've known him for 15 years and it's really hard to see he's in such a bad place. Short of taking him in myself what do you think I can do? Who should I call? Should I talk to him? What should I say? Our old Tae Kwon Do instructor can possibly help talk some sense into him.
I'm in Canada.
TL;DR: | My childhood friend is living like a homeless man after all his relatives died and he gambled away all his money. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (M33) wife (F44) of 14 years is in the mental health ward of the hospital for a week with severe depression and anxiety. We have been talking about divorce lately. She will be coming home soon and I don't know what to do.
POST: I have been dealing with a crumbling 14 year marriage for a few years now. This year has been a nightmare. In May, things came to a head when it came to light that she had been having an online affair with a childhood friend. After a big fight, she left and went to a hotel for the night. After stewing for a while I checked her laptop to try and track down where she went. That's when I came across the messages to her old friend. After tracking her down to the hotel and confronting her, she admitting to the texts and how she was hoping to meet up with him that night. It never happened and we tried to move on. She has a lot of resentment towards me for using and hiding pornography through out our marriage which she is very against. Partly because of our age difference we are on very different levels sexually.
After the hotel event, things just got worse. We have stopped communicating as much as possible living in the same house and having kids together. Lots of fighting. Lots of sadness. She has been mentally unstable and said some scary cryptic things to her mom indicating she might hurt herself. So her mom took her to the doctors and they admitted her. She been there since Monday.
When she gets home I have no idea what to expect. Things of course won't ever go back to being good again, we are too far past that. Just don't know if living together is even a possibility. Help.
TL;DR: | My wife will be coming home soon from a mental break, but I don't know what will happen with our life together. Help, advice, comfort, guidance, please. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28 F] trouble reading the signs/signals of unemotional man [30 M]
POST: I'm dating again after ending a three-year-long relationship a few months ago. Historically I've dated men who, for the most part, have been on the emotional and communicative side, which has relieved a lot of the typical anxiety around the questions of "where do I stand?", "how does he feel about me?", etc.
I recently started dating a man who, for lack of a better term, checks a lot of my boxes, but who has yet to clue me in on even a sliver of what's going on inside his head. This is a challenge for me because I hate to make assumptions or read between the lines, which are skills that I don't think I've ever developed a proficiency for given my dating history. However, he has initiated spending time together, physical contact, and checks in with texts regularly, so I do my best to balance his actions with his (lack of) words.
As a rule, I try to avoid hurting feelings, but I'm afraid I will given how hard this man is to read. For example, I left late instead of staying the night because he never made it clear that's what he wanted. Once it was clear I was leaving, I sensed that he thought I was staying and saw on his face that he was disappointed. While I know some of these awkward miscommunications are unavoidable, I'd like to prevent them as much as possible.
So, given my personality, would it be best to take this as a lesson learned and stick to dating more emotionally expressive and open guys, or is there a good strategy to understanding actions instead of relying on words? I'm guessing there's a decent chance that he may open up in the future once he trusts me enough to be vulnerable, but I'm more concerned with the getting-to-that-point.
TL;DR: | Tips on how a communicative and open woman can get to know an unemotional and hard-to-read man without making assumptions and/or having feelings hurt. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [22 M] ex [20 F] who I dated for a year, told me she would've said yes if I would've proposed to her.
POST: Last night I was texting my ex-girlfriend, and she was telling me about how a friend of her's got engaged. Then out of the the blue she texts "If you would've proposed to me I would've said yes". I was completely caught off guard by the statement and did my best to respond to her in a way that accurately represented where I was emotionally since we are not dating. I told her that while I saw a future with her while we were dating, that I felt that even now I am still too young to be considering marriage.
I think the biggest difference between her and I, and maybe this is a flaw with myself, is that I'm not going into a relationship thinking that this person will be the person I marry. Nor am I during the relationship thinking about the plan for when/if I will be proposing to someone. All I look for is someone I'm comfortable with and have fun with and if it became that then great.
I just got completely caught off guard and I am trying to figure out where that came from and how to act around her now.
TL;DR: | Ex-GF said that if I would've proposed to her she would've said yes. I didn't know how to respond really and tried best I could. Things are awkward now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Why does the Canadian government have the right to refuse educational trips to Russia due to gay rights?
POST: I am a travel agent based out of Ontario Canada. I have been working on a trip for over 40 students (ages 8-14) for over two years. I formed an itinerary and approved with the Travel and Tourism Board of Ontario that I was taking the correct and legal measures to make this trip a reality.
This would have been a 20 day music program based in Moscow, allowing these young citizens of Canada to have a cultural overview of some of Moscow's museums, arts, exhibitions and music halls. They would have two performances in infamous music halls of Moscow, showing other students their talent and skill.The teachers, students, parents and partners coordinating this event agree that this supervised trip would be beneficial for all parties and in no way endangering or risk worthy. Firstly the teachers involved were informed of refusal by counselors of International Educational Programs Council. They have been asked to discontinue planning this event due to the anti gay relations in Russia.
How is this possible and what steps do I take to argue this? I will be in personal contact with the many coordinators of this educational music program upon which time I will be presented with a letter explaining the exact reason why students are no longer PERMITTED to travel for an educational cause.
TL;DR: | Planning a music trip to Moscow for elementary school kids, being refused the right to educational travel due to Russian anti gay relations. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 F] and my "friend" [19 M] have a "thing" with no commitment and I am frustrated
POST: Me and this guy have been on and off for a year now, always been friends but with tension. We both know that we like each other and we have started hooking up and texting more.
I am very frustrated because all he seems to be interested is in hooking up (not sex but he has asked about it before). He claims that he likes me and just wants to "take things slow" and "see where things go."
He always is hanging out with his friends and I don't see him often unless we are grabbing food quick or hooking up. I have told him multiple times that I feel like we are just FWB, but he claims we are not.
After hooking up I always just leave and sometimes he doesn't even walk me to my car, or if its daytime he doesn't hug me goodbye outside.
I want to go on a real date. I want more respect. I am upset. Am I over reacting?
TL;DR: | !: I am frustrated with my "friend's" lack of commitment and respect! We act like FWB but he claims he likes me. I think I deserve better... but I like him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 F] and SO [20 M] together for 3 years, are having some problems. Please help!
POST: (For full text conversation see my post in Relationship_Advice. The link was up here but i was asked to take it down.)
[bad] Text summary~~
We are in a long distance relationship, going to separate Universities. Next year i plan on moving in town and I recently informed him of my decision. He didn't like my decision because i didn't ask his opinion, nor does he like the (girl)friend I'd be moving in with. He assumes the only reason I chose this move is because of the friend, when its not. I chose it because it will be cheaper, a different experience etc. I didn't consult him because I didn't think it had anything to do with him. He's not the one that has to live down here.
He then says i "don't really give a shit" about him because i didn't consult him first. He always does this. If I make a decision he doesn't like, somehow it means i don't care for him. He says I don't make decisions as a couple. And i tell him it shouldn't concern him where I stay. Then he says (this is may favourite part) "I wanted you to put me first like a couple should".
Then It just goes back an fourth, him- accusing me of not caring about his opinion/me not caring about him, and me- not understanding how/why me moving means this.
I want to try and fix this, we've been together for 3 years, but the longer this goes on the less i feel i should stay. Please help. Looking for advice on what I should do.
(Already posted in Relationship_Advice but only got a few comments. Looking for some more opinions.)
NOTE: South is a campus in town. The place I am hoping to move to is also in town and closer to grocery shops and more convenient as I don't have a car. Main campus is out of town and I have to rely on friends for transport into town for food, etc if I live there.
TL;DR: | BF doesn't want me to move in with friend I met at university and now has been blown out of proportion. Please help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: I recently cut off my relationship with my best friend. He was a sociopath. Haven't felt better.
POST: Where can I start? I met this guy 7th grade and things were splendid. We had the exact same interests: videogames, music, comedy. We became super close and I trusted this guy with everything. He was a genius, nice to everyone he came across, yet always came off as cocky. There was never a moment he missed to prove he was superior to somebody. The closer we became the more we integrated into each other's group of friends. We soon began to have petty arguments and fight over stupid things. I could never win an argument against this guy. When I did win an argument providing proof of something I was correct the entire time, he would become angry (at times wanted to start a brawl) and not speak to me. He knew my empathy would then cause me to apologize and he took pleasure in the fact. Things took a turn for the worst when in high school he had sex with one of my ex-girlfriends. This did not bother me one bit to be honest, due to the fact this girl had cheated on me. (I was initially hurt but it's highschool so I got over it fairly quickly) I blew it off and actually bro'd out with him about it, but then began to see his true colors. There was a point where he caught me having a casual conversation with his girlfriend (we were in high school marching band) and he was not going to let that pass. He literally turned our friends against me for about a solid week until I apologized and thoroughly explained what happened; again my empathy kicking in. I inherently thought the whole thing was my fault, similar to many other arguments we had had in the past; it was ALWAYS my fault.
Fast forward a few years. I'm 20 now and we went to different colleges but still texted everyday, played Xbox online on the weekends and went to concerts and hung out during holidays. Somehow through all this disconnection he would still manage to undermine me in more ways than one. (We both began working out at uni so you can see how that went) Until one late day, I finally learned what a sociopath was and discovered how to deal with one.
Step 1) Cut off all contact.
TL;DR: | my best friend was a sociopath our entire 7 year friendship causing major stress and emotional deterioration. I'm no longer friends with him. I, myself, cut off all connection. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What Do You Wear On This Date?
POST: I'm very excited: this weekend, I'm meeting a new friend (super smart, super attractive girl that I thought gave up on me) for an outing that is very obviously a date. We're starting at a moderately fancy restaurant (High Springs' *The Great Outdoors*), and going from there to a kayaking excursion somewhere nearby.
I want to look good. Right now, due to religious obligations, I haven't shaved in two weeks, and need to dress in a manner that makes me look great. I am super bad at that. Really, really, really bad. I still wear shirts from high school, and I'm 28.
TL;DR: | Need to look good for a fancy lunch and kayaking with a smart 10. I have no idea what I'm doing. HELP! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [20/f] boyfriend [21/M] acts very non-affectionate, should I be concerned?
POST: Okay, so my boyfriend VERY rarely gives me compliments.
Only on rare special occasions does he so much as say "You look nice". We've been officially dating for 4 months and 'unofficially' on/off for 10 months and in that time he has only complimented me a handful of times, even though I compliment him daily (appearance, personality,skills, etc).
He says that giving/ receiving compliments make him feel unconformable and I don't want to pressure him to do something he feels uncomfortable with but it does concern me.
He also recently told me he loves me after a night of drinking and now when I say it he replies with "you too" or tells me I'm going to wear it out.
I don't want to come off as needy or self-centered or anything. I just can't help but feel worried maybe he didn't mean what he said... what do you guys think???
TL;DR: | Concerned that my boyfriends lack of compliments could be reflecting a possible lack of interest and lack of enthusiasm to vocalize his feelings could as well. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21/F] with my boyfriend [22 M/] of 6years is spoiling me and I dislike it.
POST: I know this is going to seem so selfish but I don't know what it is. It's going to be my birthday in a few days. And my bf bought my an LG 50 inch 4k resolution t.v. I felt really touched by the fact that he decided to buy me something at all. But I hate that he gets me so many expensive things. For Christmas he got me a ps4. And he's telling me he wants to build me a good gaming computer from scratch. All these gifts are overwhelming me. I don't know why it hurts so much. I'm so upset. I didn't need a new t.v. I loved my old one more than anything. I didn't ask for an upgrade!!! Some of you might not understand and I know I should feel lucky. I am appreciative. But I don't know why he spends so much money on me, especially on things that aren't broken and I don't need. I feel so useless I can't even look or touch the stupid t.v. It makes me emotions feel so uncomfortable. I miss my old t.v. But he installed the new t.v. In my room when I wasn't home and took my old t.v. even though my old one was 28 inches it was the perfect size for my tiny room. My room is literally really small. And i told him I miss my old tv. That why did he spend so much money on something I didn't need. And he got really sad and he said he wants me to have the best of the best. We got into a fight last night because I told him I dislike him buying so many things when he could be using that money for his future. And he got mad and he said he'll return the stupid t.v. I feel so bad. I don't know why this even happening.
P.s. English not my first language or my second, it's my 3rd so excuse the errors.
TL;DR: | Bf spoils me too much, and got upset because I don't want him to spoil me. /what should I do? And why do I feel like this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by sending the wrong message to a friend
POST: TIFU, So i usually am a very cautious person when it comes to sending stuff to people on my phone but today didn't seem to be the case. I was asking a few of my friends on when senior photos occur and since i didn't want to get a group message going on i had to copy and paste. 2nd person i was going to send message to was a really smart and nice girl and i tried copying and pasting the past message but it didn't work and i accidently sent her a message containing a link about how child sex robots can help treat pedophiles. When i realized what i have done it was too late. I was in a state of complete panic, how the hell did i get that article from. Then i remembered i saved the article to read later, shit was on futurology so it had to be good. she sent me a message asking me why did i send her stuff on sex robots. it had a few lols so i knew i wasn't completely fucked
So now in a last effort to save my ass i sent her another article from the same website and said "I was reading articles on reddit and i accidently linked you the article underneath it" The article was some current event stuff about london and she hasn't read my response( imessage sends read receipts) but hopefully she will understand.
TL;DR: | I sent a girl an article on child sex robots treating pedophiles instead of sending her stuff about senior pics. fuck copy and paste. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[23f] am casually dating a guy [25m] for the past few weeks. I can't tell what his end game is.
POST: For the past few weeks, I've been casually dating a guy I met on Tinder. We've been on two dates, spanning a week apart. So, we first started talking to each other about a month ago.
He lives very far away from me (35 miles), and has driven up for these dates, which he offered. I told him I felt bad about this (I don't have a car at the moment, long story), and would offer him gas money. He sidestepped the question, and was like, "no worries, when can I see you again?" I have continually asked him if he is okay with this, and he just shrugs.
We don't really have that much in common, honestly, but he's pleasant to talk to. We haven't done anything intimate yet. He hasn't really even tried to make any moves.
We text a lot, usually prompted by him as well, asking me how my day went, what am I thinking about, etc. He asked if he could call me today, so I thought we were going to have some big talk, like, "let's end this" or something.
He called me to ask about when we could get together again, and we planned to go to a comedy show next week. I tried to get him to talk more, but he was like, "Oh, I didn't really have anything else to say. I just thought it would be better if we planned this out over the phone, instead of text." He asked me briefly if I'd gotten any projects this week yet (I freelance), I said no. I asked him how his work was today, he said, "Stressful, but whatever."
TL;DR: | Dating a guy, and I'm honestly not even sure if he's interested in me. It feels weirdly platonic, although the guy continues to pursue it. Is this guy just reserved? What's going on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Had a break up today. Make me feel better? :(
POST: My (20 f) now ex (20m) that I dated for about a year and a half broke up today. The topic we had fights about were fixable but there was one thing that was bad. He said that the two of us can't have a good conversation together because he doesn't know what to talk about with me. He kept saying I love music but he loves football and is indifferent about music. I am same with football. Then he asked me what he wants me to talk about to which I said I can't just tell him to talk about such and such topics. We kept discussing and finally he said this will be a problem and that he feels like "we both will be happy with someone else". At the end, before I left, he also said that some years from now he will realize that he made the biggest mistake. I didn't say anything because before he kept saying we'll be happier with someone else. It hurt to stay there longer. I also told him never to contact me again and blocked him from everything. I really loved him.
We're in college and have classes together and I dont know how to face him or other friends in my class who loved talking about us and some who considered us "that couple". He said he loved every thing about me but he just can't see us together in the long run if he can't talk to me about things.
I am just kind of lost. I have friends I can hang out with but I just want to stay alone and think about what could've been fixed but I dont know if he feels the same way. How do I feel better? Reddit, please give me some of your thoughts and tell me if I did the right thing. Make me feel certain that it was for the best.
TL;DR: | me and my now ex of a year and a half broke up today. Issue was that he didn't know what to talk about with me anymore. I feel lonely and sad. Did I do the right thing? :( |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Is there anything I could do to speed up the recovery of a grade 3 MCL tear?
POST: I guess no more explanation is required but just a little background information. I was hit by a car while crossing the street and one of the many resulting injuries was a grade 3 MCL tear. It's been almost 5 weeks since the accident and my knee isn't feeling that much better. I'm home now and have been off school and work. The doctor said zero weight but that's nearly impossible when I'm home alone half of the time. I wouldn't be all too worried except my prom is coming up in about two weeks. Okay, yes, I know. I'm putting prom before my health. Sue me. As much as I disliked most of high school I still want to enjoy Prom.
TL;DR: | I was hit by a car 5 weeks ago. I want to get my funk on at Prom which is in 2 weeks. Help me! |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit: I have this very specific self-esteem/confidence issue and am looking for advice
POST: Hey guys. Throwaway, obviously.
I've always felt like I was eventually going to be really awesome. I still have this belief and feel like I'm going to totally get over this stuff at some point. However, I feel like I'm currently at a place in my life where I'm "worse than" most other people, or at least more miserable or something. This is mostly centered around my total lack of relationship success (a couple of random hookups at college don't count), and I feel like once I get that shit sorted out I'll be a much happier and successful person and I'll have finally reached the point in my life where I think everything is sorted out as it should be.
I think part of the problem is that I have this constantly desire to improve myself. This sounds like some bullshit that you might come up with to respond to a "what is your greatest weakness?" question in a job interview, but what it actually means is that I always end up feeling inadequate in some way. I have trouble accepting who I am and loving that person and instead just fantasize about how awesome I'll be in the future once I've acquired skill X or gotten over mental roadblock Y.
I see all the time posted on here that first you must love yourself if you want someone to love you. This makes sense (and I also want to have better self-esteem and self-confidence for my own reasons). I think sometimes I can have a negative energy to me, and I know that's not what I want to be radiating to people around me. The problem is that I don't know how to do this. I think a really important part of the problem is that I see my current self as distinct from the "good" future self that I will eventually became. Do you guys have any advice for how to get over that?
TL;DR: | Though in general I like who I am, I see myself as a different person from the successful, happy me in the future. How do I get over this and start to see myself as that person? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's the most regrettable or embarrassing thing you've said in school?
POST: Last year in US Government, our teacher was talking about gay marriage and discussing the legal issues associated with it. He asked (rhetorically, as I soon realized) "What compelling reason is there to deny gays the right to marry? Why shouldn't they be allowed to?". Earlier he had tied the Westboro Baptist Church into the lesson. So I thought it would be a good opportunity to be the funny guy, so in the brief pause after he asked the question, I blurted out "because God hates fags". (Mind you, this was 12th grade, so profane language wasn't totally taboo; our teacher swore casually). I figured everyone would get the WBC reference and have a good laugh about it. Nope. No one laughed. I got a few weird looks and my teacher awkwardly tried to explain why that isn't a legitimate reason, as if it were my genuine opinion. I briefly and hopelessly tried to explain myself but I'm still not sure anyone got it. The teacher clumsily segued back into the lesson, which really wasn't intended to be interrupted at all, as I spent the rest of the class silently wanting to die.
Tonight instead of sleeping, my scumbag brain decided to rehash all the stupid shit I've done in my life. So let's hear yours.
TL;DR: | Made WBC reference as joke, came off as obnoxious, bigoted asshole. In retrospect, it really was in bad taste and not as funny as I thought. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [29/m] GF of 2 years (26/f) found some old saved reddit links she didn't like on my account.
POST: So, I decided to come here and post this because I'm just not sure how I should feel about it.
My gf decided she wanted to see what reddit was all about while using my laptop (which I normally never leave home) to print some stuff. She was looking for something similar to "favorites" to see what it was I liked and she ended up on my page of saved links. The first page had nothing bad on it but on the next page, there were maybe about 5-6 links. 3or 4 of these links were NSFW kind of links that I had saved probably 7 or so months ago, when I was brand new to reddit. I had forgotten about them and hadn't looked at them since I saved them.
We've been together 2 years, and the issue of me looking at porn has come up once or twice, but we've never fully discussed it. I disagree with her view that if you are with someone, you shouldn't masturbate anymore.
We also have an ongoing with our sex life, in which we basically don't have one. This issue is one I'm not sure of the reasoning for. I've only had one other serious relationship and she was more aggressive and would get tired of waiting and would turn me on to get what she wanted. On top of that, the sex with my last gf worked better. I am an overweight guy (and she is somewhat too) and it really limits what we can even do. I think this is a big issue for me as it ends up being me doing all the hard work and it's quite exhausting and... yeah.
I'd say I look at porn once a week, and I wonder if it does have an effect on my sex drive, but I'm honestly not sure. What I'm really looking for here is, should I feel bad here? Should I be the one apologizing? I understand why finding this would make her upset but at the same time I don't know how guilty I really feel. She is taking this very seriously and has left the house for now. What do you guys think? Feel free to ask any questions about anything I may have left out.
TL;DR: | GF found some NSFW links saved in my reddit account, is quite upset that she can't live up to my "desires" |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: There is a guy that has been sending[25/M] my wife [27/F] messages on facebook asking for pictures and such. Should I tell his girlfriend what he's doing?
POST: My wife is very attractive and works as a bartender so we're used to her getting messages from random people saying how hot she is, asking for pictures etc. I'm used to it. I'm not the jealous type and she usually handles it herself, so it doesn't really bother me. One guy in particular bothered me. Neither me or my wife know the guy, but we have many mutual friends. He did the usual "you're so beautiful, please send pics" routine. She just ignored him so he started with "why don't you like me? Are you not attracted to me". She responded, telling him thanks for the compliment but she's happily married and not interested. He didn't get the hint and told her how it was his birthday and asked her to "just play a little". He even sent her his phone number. At this point, she came to me and asked me to intervene. I did, he never responded to me or sent her another message. After browsing through his Facebook, I got irritated. He has a lot of posts talking about his hatred of cheaters and fake people and how much he loves his girlfriend. So my first thought upon seeing his hipocrasy was to screen cap his conversation and sent it to her, to show what a piece of shit she is with. On one hand, its not my business and I don't really care since I don't know either of these people. On the other, I would want to know if it was happening to me. I just don't want me or my wife getting blamed for his problems.
TL;DR: | Guy sending my wife raunchy facebook messages is in a serious committed relationship and loves preaching against cheaters. Torn on weather I should show her what he has been doing. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Not attracted to my boyfriend, but I don't want to lie to him.
POST: Hello, I'm 19 f and my boyfriend is 18, well, m. We've been dating for 8 months now.
I've never found my boyfriend to be attractive, but I decided to date him because I found his personality appealing. He's constantly insecure because he claims that I am much more attractive than him and am "above his league". When he asks me if I find him attractive, I tell him that I do because his self-esteem is bad enough as it is, and of course I wouldn't want to hurt him.
However, this is getting in the way of intimacy (at least, for me) because I don't find him physically attractive when it comes to sexual intercourse/the like. Whenever he asks me if something's wrong because he feels that I'm not "into it," I lie and tell him everything is fine. But recently it's just not cutting it for me. I don't want to devastate him by saying that I'm not physically attracted to him, yet I'm not satisfied. It's selfish of me, I know, but what should I do about it?
TL;DR: | I'm not physically attracted to my boyfriend and I never have been, but when he asks me I lie to him, which is getting in the way of my sexual pleasure. What to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: What I did to make the Holidays great for myself.
POST: Give. Seriously. Give what you can. I feel absolutely great right now. I don't mean put your savings into the red-jar in front of Wal-Mart. I gave away some of my favorite video games to friends so that they can re-gift them to their SO's because they can't afford gifts for them. I also gave some money to a friend so that they can buy gifts for a family that's down on their luck. I'm not saying "OH LOOK ET ME I"M GREAT," I'm just saying it put me in a really good mood to do nice things...
I had to get off my lazy ass to actually go mail things, and i'm not even upset for it. I even dusted off my skateboard to ride around and then *GASP* cleaned my room. I never realized that my mood could affect my actions this way. I hope I can keep the habit of acting this way all the time....
TL;DR: | Giving stuff made me feel good. And i'm using Reddit as a diary so i can read it later to remind myself to do it more often. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Good [f]riend acting very strange [18/m]
POST: A good female friend of mine, whom I helped recover from drug addiction, and helped get her out of an emotional rut, is acting very strange towards me lately. She is currently in a relationship with a guy who is seemingly bipolar, hes either fantastic, or horrible. Half the time she is depressed about it, the other have cant stop talking about how great he is.
Anyway, about a month back she and I started hanging out a lot more. Just going out and doing stuff everyday, working out together, movies, hiking, etc. She has slept over at my current apartment 3 times. On the couch. In an average week we probably see each other 3-4 times, usually 4-8 hours each time.
The friendship dynamic with this girl is strange, she has a boyfriend, I know she does. But she treats me like her boyfriend when we are in public, but in private, she treats me like a "bro".
We decided that for both of us it would be beneficial to get an apartment and share it, 2bed 1bath. Beneficial in terms of finances. The other night we were browsing a Bed bath and beyond type store, when she grabbed my hand and held it romantically. Whilst this holding of the hand occurred, she showed me all the things WE should get in our apartment together, in OUR bathroom, just treating it like we were a couple moving in together.
I dont know how to approach this situation at all. To be honest if she were genuinely interested in me I would have a relationship with her. Im just not sure how to process her behavior.
TL;DR: | Good friend of mine with boyfriend acts like she and I are a couple. We are getting an apartment together. I cant tell if she is actually interested in me, or where her behavior comes from. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My bf (27 m) is going to spend way less money on my (21 f) engagement ring than he did for his ex wife
POST: I am 21 f and he is 27 m. We have been together for two years, and have not gotten enaged yet, but we are pretty seriouse about it. Now we are talking about proposals and engagement rings and where we might elope to. And I am very sure that this guy will deliver on his promises. Anyway.
Now I understand that he does not make that much money, and he never did. But I remember him saying months ago something like "I spent $1,500 on my ex wife's ring, it was pretty cheap." And now a few days ago to me he said he would only spend between $600-700 for the ring.
At first I was very okay with it, and even looked at some cheaper rings since I do not care about money spent on stupid stuff in general, but I just remembered how much he spend on his ex wife and he even said it was an okay about of money to spend on a ring, but not okay for me. He made about $19,000 yr when when was with her, and with me he makes about $25,000 yr. (He switched jobs)
It's not a lot at all I know, and I am okay with that...but he spent double on her, when he had less money, and even said that her ring price was no big deal, but mine is apparently. He has less debt now too while he is with me.
Oh and he claims to like me way more than he ever did her, but I am not too sure now...What do you think? I just do not want to get married to the wrong guy, and I am not sure if this is a flag or not.
We have our ups and downs and we have more ups, but when we get downs then they are pretty annoying.
And this will be the first time that I am getting married, him the second time.
Help please.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend and soon to be husband maybe spent 2x on ex wife's ring and thought it was no big deal, but he wants to be cheap with me but claims to like me more. I am confused. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Girl [18/f] is perfect for me [18/m], but I don't know how to kiss her.
POST: I am an 18 year old guy, currently at university. There is a girl [18/f] who I am in class with, who has become a really good friend of mine. In the beginning of the year, when I met her, I really just saw her as a friend because I was completely blinded by another girl who ended up being a total bitch, but slowly I have come to realise how much I like her. We are very similar and spend all our time together, both in class and out of class. I have met her whole family and one would say that we have a really serious relationship, if we were in one.
The only problem is that we are not in a relationship. I have never been in a relationship and have never kissed a girl before. She also told me that before this year she hadn't kissed anyone either. I really want to kiss her but I don't know how. Usually I have just been way too nervous to even think about it but with her I am completely relaxed and its not a problem. I just feel that its not part of my personality to do that, even though I really want to. I feel like I just cant get over the barrier of the first kiss. We have been more than just class buddies for about 2.5 months, and I met her in the beginning of February, about 4 months ago
I do not want to have to get drunk to kiss her for the first time and I wont really have a chance to do so because we are writing exams now anyway.
I really just need some help and guidance as to what to do.
TL;DR: | There is a girl I really like, we have become good friends but I don't know how to kiss her for the first time. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [22/f] I met this guy [22/m] that I like but I'm not ready for a relationship. What should I do?
POST: Well, he is also a Redditor so if he sees this.. Hi anh... (:
Anyways, I got out of a 3 1/2 year relationship 8 months ago because he lied to me often and talked to girls behind my back. I'm not sure if he cheated on me, but that is one thing I will never truly be sure of.
I actually enjoyed every minute of being single. It is more relieving not having to worry about anyone else and I was taking the time to get my stuff together and figure out a few things about myself. Then this guy comes into my life. He knows that I am not ready for a relationship and is willing to wait for me. I know I'm not ready for a relationship because all the negative feelings of jealousy and inadequacy I had towards the end of my last relationship would come up when I see a girl had messaged him or texted him. No, I am not going through his stuff, sometimes he checks his stuff when I'm sitting right next to him and I sometimes happen to glance over. I really do try not to look though.
We've known each other for a month but the connection we have is not like I have had with anyone else before. I know he is someone that I can be with but I can't do it now. I feel like if I get together with him now, I won't be able to give him all of me because of these negative emotions that I have to deal with because of my ex. It's not fair to him and it is a feeling that I would hate to put myself through again. What should I do?
TL;DR: | I've been single 8 months and not ready to get into another relationship but I met someone amazing and don't want to lose this opportunity. PLEASE HELP ME! |