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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Can feel myself (f23) changing but don't want to lose my boyfriend (27m)
POST: I have been with my boyfriend now for almost 2 years, and we live together.
He is kind, generous, goofy, funny, and strong. I fell in love with him the moment we met, and we have essentially been together since.
So- I know a lot of changes happen from 20-25. I can feel it in my bones, I can feel myself transitioning into my "adult mode". However, my fear is that I'm growing away from my boyfriend. I love him very much, but there are a few things.
First, I constantly feel like his intellectual superior. It makes me sick that I feel this way. Whenever I try and talk to him about anything deeper than what happened at work today, he doesn't seem to grasp any of the concepts I bring up, no matter how many times I articulate them differently. He is completely uninterested in philosophy, art, poetry- things I am very passionate about.
He is also very high anxiety. He doesn't have a lot of coping skills and could use therapy, but it is expensive. I feel like I am constantly reassuring him or de-stressing him.
There are so many great things about us, 99% of the time I am amazed at what a great team we make. He is a fantastic listener, he is fun, we share the same taste in music, movies, etc. We rarely, if ever, argue or fight, and have discussions frequently.
I can feel myself growing into a bigger, smarter, stronger person. I am working on thinking deeper, allowing myself to become more cultured, less ignorant, etc. However, every day I feel like I'm leaving him behind. I try and include him in my path, asking him to come along to museums, or hikes, or to read with me, but he seems unmotivated and stressed out constantly.
Is there a simple answer here? Is it just the natural course that people grow out of each other? We discuss marriage so frequently and he is so unbelievably in love with me I can't even fathom what a breakup would do to us.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | I love my boyfriend, but can feel myself growing in a different direction and don't think he can keep up. I feel under stimulated and a little bored. How can I salvage this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How do I get back the love of my life?
POST: I'll keep this short, I was with a girl for 7 years or so, much stuff happened with her family, I had a lot of anger and issues to deal with (she had ended the relationship 5 or 6 times in this period, directly due to her nutcase father, nonetheless each heartbreak took more of a toll). Eventually, I simply had a want to escape, I still loved her (at least, I thought I did) but was suffocating. I ended the relationship. What followed was not my finest hour, as people do in a breakup - words were exchanged and then, with my first taste of freedom and opportunity, I (stupidly) started a relationship with someone new whilst in the rebound, confused, and following the guidance of my peers and father -- not to blame them, but more neutral advice would've helped with the scrambled eggs which were my brain.
When I told my ex that I was in a new relationship, I saw her heartbreak in her facial expression. So did mine, I knew that this was wrong, but couldn't work out why -- put it down to nostalgia.
Fast forward to today, I am working abroad, due to return home around September, new gf is coming to visit me but I do not want her to, no feelings of love have developed and I am going to use the opportunity to end the relationship as nicely as I can. Conversely, the break I needed from my ex has served its purpose, the anger and frustration have both gone and all I remember is this fantastically beautiful, intelligent, talented soulmate whom I miss dearly.
When we broke up, she said she would always love me whilst in tears, I was her only boyfriend and we shared experiences which the vast majority do not. I know what I have for her in my heart is genuine and true - I have hurt her by dismissing her feelings so frivolously and jumping in with another woman, but how do I beg forgiveness for my stupidity and once again have the woman of my dreams? I should have married this girl when she was asking, now I want to more than ever. Why is it I can forgive a multitude of heartbreak that she bestowed unto me but she cannot do the same? Your advice could change the direction of my life.
TL;DR: | Broke up with awesome ex due to bad relationship circumstances, got new gf within 3 months, ex hate(s/d) me for it, woke up, realised issues -- want to win ex back. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Disappeared without a word; why do I think I need closure?
POST: We technically grew up together. He (25m) and I (23f) went to middle school together, kept in touch through out high school. I'd go to him for advice and he'd do the same to me. We weren't best friends but great friends nonetheless. While he was in Afghanistan this last year, we got back in contact and he talked a lot about how I was really the only person going out of their way to stay in touch with him (he was there as a civilian). When he came back home, he came to see me. He was out for a week and a half before moving to DC. He flew me out to see him twice in the three months we were an official couple. Everything was so great at first but then he grew distant and we went 2 days without talking. Finally I confronted him and said I didn't appreciate that, or how things were going from there. He didn't reply, so I grew frustrated. Finally I got a text that said "I don't like to deal with problems." Okay. Asked him to call me, text messaged him a couple times in the following 3 days. Nothing. Finally I was forced to break things off over a text message. Unfriended and unfollowed him on all social networks. Still haven't heard a word. I'm hurt, very badly. It's been about a month now.
TL;DR: | Known him since I was 12; finally become a couple at 22, but he grew distant and just stopped talking to me altogether. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How to get guys to stop coming onto me at work (23F)
POST: I have been at my job a year now, and 90% of the people I work with know I am in a long-term relationship (5 years with 23M). I absolutely love what I do. I work in a hotel, so I have over a hundred coworkers, all in different departments, so I don't know everyone nor see them every day. Being in the hospitality industry, I am extremely friendly at work with both guests and coworkers (male and female). Apparently this comes off as flirtatious to some. There is a 26M server who shares my birthday who asked me to dinner last week. I never know when people are hitting on me, so I joked about it with him etc. On our birthday he left me a card and chocolates on my desk. As if that was not awkward enough, I had to break his heart on our birthday and tell him I have a bf. Fast forward to this week... Another guy at work, maybe 28-29, is from Columbia and has a very strong accent. He sat with me at lunch last week, we talked about sports, vacations, etc. I mentioned my bf several times in the conversation due to the last incident with the "birthday twin." He asked for my number to text later that week about vacation (I use a great all-inclusive website to book and he was very interested). Big stupid mistake on my end, and now he won't stop texting me. Today was borderline "naughty" texting and then he asked me to go for a drink sometime. I have just been ignoring these texts the past few days. When I see him at work, he does not mention the texts. How do I tell him nicely that this was not the reason I gave him my number? And also ask him to stop? There is somewhat of a language barrier as I do not speak Spanish and his English is pretty terrible. I would really like to keep a friendly/professional relationship since he has the most face-to-face contact with my clients. I really love this job and don't want these guys to force me out of it.
TL;DR: | Male "birthday twin" asked me out and I broke his heart on our birthday. Now another guy is coming onto me at work. I'm in a committed relationship 5+ years. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Dear Redditors, I need some advice of a personal nature.
POST: Personal and sexual I suppose. Let me start off by saying that I (F22y/o) am in an amazing relationship with an amazing man (M25y/o) and I am not about to change anything about that!
I've been with my partner for just over 3.5 years and in the beginning we were having sex at least once a day - and it is fucking perfect! Now, I've noticed that within the last 10 months or so our passion in the bedroom has burned down to its last embers. We've both had our fair share of low times and we've both managed to pick each other up and move through it. But his libido has never really return to the full ferocity it once was. Lately I've given up even asking because to be quite honest, my self esteem has taken quite a blow from his constant rejection. I hint though, oh boy do I leave hints. But he would rather unwind after work by playing Destiny until the early hours. If that's how he wants to unwind, that's fine by me. But every day? I mean, how much of that game does he still have to discover??
We've talked about this subject before and he always gets quiet and withdrawn and says that it's not me it's him. And then seems upset that I'd even ask him about it, so I don't ask him anymore. I don't want to upset him, but how can I talk to him about this? I'm partial to tricking him into an evening of steamy, passionate, semi-rough sex, no matter how unethical it may seem.
Thanks for taking the time to read this far in! This is my first post to reddit (literally signed up about 15mins ago).
Also I really should add that I'm not going to be tricking him into unethical "surprise sex" or anything else!!
Thank you!! X
TL;DR: | F22y/o looking for advice for more sex from M25y/o boyfriend (3.5 year relationship) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25F] with my partner [28M] 5years, he hates New Year and turns into a recluse, how to help?
POST: My partner hates New Year, as his father died around that time about fourteen years ago. From about the 28th December - 3rd January, he refuses to do anything, instead staying in the house all day.
I've attempted to get him out of the house over this time and to help him take his mind off it. I've suggested going to a huge NY's eve party, or a party with a few friends, or just chilling out the two of us watching tv and eating pizza with no mention of NY, as well as other options, but nothing seems to attract him.
While I do sympathise with him, and understand it's a time of mourning and reflection for him, I can't help feeling that it's time for him to move on a bit. His father died fifteen years ago now, and while he was a young teenager when it happened and it undoubtedly affected him a lot, I don't think it's healthy for him to completely wallow in his grief for nearly a week every year. Am I being selfish or too harsh? I don't know how to approach this with him without it coming off like I want for him to forget about his father, or not to honour his anniversary every year. I'd love to celebrate the NY with him for once, and it doesn't have to be a huge party, I'd just like to be with him, even if it's him just crying or talking about his dad all night.
It's not as if I can't understand how he's feeling. By unlucky coincidence I've had three separate family members (albeit not parents or siblings so maybe it's different) die around Christmas time, so while that's always a sad time for me, I've tried to move past it and can enjoy the holiday with those who are still alive. But that might just be differing personality styles and different ways of dealing with grief, I don't know.
TL;DR: | partner hates New Year because it's the 15th anniversary of his father's death, how do I help him move on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What ideas, good, bad, silly, etc. for any spin-offs you've come up with?
POST: My idea for a spin-off involves Hodor from Game of Thrones being abducted by the Marklar aliens from South Park.
One day, Hodor's just walking around like "Hodor hodor hodor.", and suddenly, just disappears. He then wakes up on a space ship, and the Marklar aliens are before him trying to speak with him. Now, the only thing Hodor can say is hodor, but talking to the Marklar aliens he does now seem to understand him, and they understand him (complete with Fallout 2 Torr-style subtitles when you have low intelligence).
They explain that they're in trouble quite often and need someone strong & kinda intimidating (a big guy like Hodor can be pretty intimidating if you piss him off enough) to help act as sort of a bodyguard.
After doing surprisingly well, he gets promoted (by whom, I dunno) and he becomes a Space Cop.
**My Idea
TL;DR: | Hodor from Game of Thrones becomes a badass Space Cop after being abducted by the aliens from South Park that say Marklar instead of nouns. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (25M) cannot move on from my wife (24F)
POST: I posted something on here a few days ago (I'll put a link in the comments because I don't know how to link another post clearly via the mobile app), because after 3 months of very rare contact we got back in contact and had two amazing weekends.
4 months ago we separated because she had "too much stuff going on in her head" and "couldn't commit to a relationship" which left me completely broken and I went into self destruct mode. After those two weekends I thought things were going great, she was having a good time, I was having a great time, she said it reminded her of "the good times" so I thought we were on the road to reconciliation.
Well... After her pushing back any sort of intimacy (we shared a bed, so I just wanted a cuddle) I spoke to her on the phone last night because I am very confused. She says she really missed me when we were apart, is happy we are seeing/talking each other again but she just can't commit to a relationship because of her state of mind.
This sent me a bit loopy (internally, I didn't get mad or anything) but we ended the call on good terms.
But I don't know what the fuck I'm doing here - I'm completely in love with her, but surely if she had those feelings in return she would want to work this out, regardless of her state of mind? She had 4 months apart from me - if it doesn't happen now, will it ever?
I'm now back to square one, where I was 4 months ago, and feel completely torn apart.
TL;DR: | can't move on from my wife, don't even know if I should or if I should stick around in the hope of reconciliation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (20) with my gf (18) been together and she may have cheated on me, forgave her but I can't get it out of my head.
POST: My girlfriend, let's call her Cathy, have had an amazing relationship so far except for this one little hiccup.
This was about 3 weeks ago and I was at work, she had felt like I hadn't been giving her enough attention lately and invited a friend from over an hour away to come hang out with her.
He brought her flowers, and the only reason I found out was because I looked through her phone (I know it was wrong but I wouldn't have found out unless I did it) and she had texted her friend telling her how cute he was, how sweet he was for bringing flowers, and the worst thing was the we were not in a relationship anymore even though we were at the time. After I got off work that night I called her and texted her and she would ignore my calls and texts so I went to her house and knocked on her door and she would answer me even though I knew she was there.
She tells me nothing happened and her roommate tells me they just watched movies but it still doesn't seem right to me. And I broke up with her that day.
We had a fight over it and I decided that if she is telling the truth then it's nothing to break up over but I can't shake the thought out of my head that she's lying to me and doesn't want to lose me over a one night thing, what do I do?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend invited a guy over and said they just watched movies, I believed her and took her back but I can't shake thoughts out of my head |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How Should I (M22) Communicate with Ex GF? (F22)
POST: Background:
Just over 3 months ago, my Ex GF and I decided to end things after a hiccup that she encountered that I found to be a "final straw" . We had dated on and off for over 2.5 years, basically at the level as really great friends that ended up dating when the times worked out for us. The last round that we dated, we became much closer, emotionally and phsically, though we were never official for various reasons.
After we "ended", I ended up catching a drink with her voluntarily to vent my frustrations of breaking up and other problems that I felt we had encountered over the span of us dating. By the end of the conversation, we both felt much better but I was still adimit that we should stop dating, though stay on amicable and friendly terms. We also spoke on the idea that we should there was a possibility of getting back together in the future but not for quite some time.
Low and behold, not 10 days later, I end up meeting and interacting with a new girl that I really had no intentions of being involved with, but as luck would have it, I found myself an amazing girl that has provided all the solutions to the problems from my previous relationship. I am not looking into the future too far, as my current girlfriend and I have only been dating for just under three months, but I can already see a problem forming. I am wanting some guidance and advice on how to handle this situation in regards to my ex girlfriend, who I am still on friendly terms with, but from recent texts seems to want to get back together with me based on our previous conversations before my current girlfriend came along. How should I handle this?
TL;DR: | Wondering how to handle my ex girlfriend now that I have started a great new relationship. Ex Girlfriend and I are on good terms and she most likely wants us to get back together and does not know of new current girlfriend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (20m) received a 2,000$ refund from my University. My Mother (50f) is asking it to be used to pay off some of her contribution to my education.
POST: First of all I want to say I love my mother more than existence. She has literally saved my life countless times and I hope to be at least half the human being she is one day.
Today I received a refund of 2,000$ from my uni. I was pretty elated and called my mom. I am also signing a lease for my place for senior year so I told her I would pay the first months rent (900$) and that she wouldn't have to worry about it.
Our original deal was to split my final year's education costs in thirds between me, my father (55m) and her. Before my father had financed my education through a college fund he started before I was born when my parents were first thinking about children. It would be fair to say the refund originally came from this account.
Anyway my mom said she would cover my rent for my senior year, my dad would cover the first semester and I would take out a loan for the last. My mom isn't as well off as my father (they separated rather recently) so I thought it would be cool to take care of this for her after consulting with my dad (he essentially said do whatever you want with the refund).
Initially she seemed pretty excited but I got a text later saying that she will only contribute 900$ to my Deposit/First/Last (a total of 2,700$) and that I should use the rest of the refund to cover it.
I'm confused because I feel like I had already given her a "gift" and that she was ready to pay the entirety of the deposit before. I felt like it went from "oh great I have 900$ less to pay" to "why am I not getting all of it".
So someone give me a reality check and tell me that I'm being a spoiled brat, or am I somewhat justified to feel this way? Although when it comes down to it I obviously won't deny her.
TL;DR: | I received a 2,000$ refund from my University originally paid out of a college saving account. My mother is asking it to be used to pay off some of her contribution to my education. |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Losing friends over time because of what always happens; life. Can't accept that. Reddit, I need your help.
POST: First of all, sorry for my bad english. Second of all, this my first post.
I read today [this] comment about losing your friends and how it is just a natural thing in life and how should I celebrate the time I spent with my friends.
I think that comment is right, I think that comment gave me some kind of relieve.
Yet, today I had opportunity to actually try to act based on this comment and I failed. I realized that I'm not like that. I can't let go a friend I know for 10 years, I can't let go a friend I know for 3 years. I love them in general way too much. Even if I still *feel* them *everyday* without being in touch with them, I still cry, yell and refuse to admit they can actually can be gone forever. I write them letters, I write them texts, I'm keeping the fire alive. At some point, friendship fades away anyway.
So here I'm. I'm confused. I'm confused to having a beatiful friendship for 10 years and for some reason like work, life-changing moments, moving away or just marriage I can lose my friend or friends like in some weird, sad magic trick. It didn't happen to only one *good* friend. It just happens over time to almost everyone.
I'm sick tired to always *move on* to next generation, make a new friends and in the end lost them again. I'm 25, and I *almost* feel like Johnny Cash in Hurt. Though there is no bad feeling, no fights, no deaths, no misunderstandings. Just not enough of time. *Just life*. As always.
Maybe I can't handle life in this particular matter, maybe I just want to know how you can bear this situations better. Can you let go? Can you forget and still be cheerful about moments you had with your friends? Can you be still happy?
TL;DR: | Pretty much as title says. Losing friends overtime because of what always happens. Life. Can't accept that. Seeks advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Anyone have teenage stories involving an SO's parents that make you feel embarrassed? I have one.
POST: Ok, I'm 16 and hanging out at my girlfriend's house at the time, she had recently redecorated her room and she wanted to show me. I was like "Cool! Let's go!" (Because I was weird and liked interior decorating) and rush up the stairs ahead of her. Next thing I know her mom walks by and says "You know my policy. No boys are allowed into your room! You both can go back into the basement and watch movies." Well she looks at her mom and responds with a whine but gets shut down. All this time I'm awkwardly standing on the stairs ahead of her, slowly nodding my head. After her speech I say "Yes Mrs. Mom." and walk down the stairs trying my best not to look her in the eye.
I have never been more ashamed of wanting to enjoy interior decorating in my life.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend's mom must've thought I was an eager and horny teenage boy because I was halfway up the steps to her daughter's room while she was still at the bottom. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Is there any way to make myself NOT dream about a certain subject?
POST: A week ago my now ex-girlfriend broke up with me, and literally every single night I have been unable to fall asleep without dreaming about her in one way or another, whether it is positive, negative, or neutral. During the day I am somewhat able to keep her off of my mind, but every time I close my eyes and fall asleep she just inundates my brain with dreams. Sometimes I'll wake up several times a night from several different dreams, and lately I haven't been able to sleep in till later than 5am without waking up at lesat once from a dream.
It is really starting to effect me. I have bags under my eyes, I feel tired nearly all of the time, and I haven't had a good night's rest in a week. If this continues, I don't know what I will do; I just need it to stop. Hell, before this, I hardly ever dreamed, or at least I never remembered them.
So my question is, is there anyway to control my dreams or force myself not to dream about her? Or to even not dream at all? I need a good night's rest at least once, and waking up without her being the first thing on my mind would also be a big help. Please reddit, I need your help on this one. :(
TL;DR: | GF broke up with me a week ago, haven't been able to stop dreaming about her every night. How can I not dream, or just not dream about her so that I can finally sleep through an entire night? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by giving my boyfriend a great BJ.
POST: My SO and I have been having a hard time and have been arguing a lot so I asked him to come over so he could spend the night and so we can hang out and talk things out. Anyway we hang out a bit and I start getting down to business. I usually stick to the same thing when I give him a bj but this time I switched things up on my SO and he loved it. After the whole thing my SO asked me where I had "learned" these new skills and asked why I was so good. I joked around and told him I got the skills from the BJ store. Anyway we go to sleep and in the morning my SO keeps pressing me to tell him where I learned such a skill and why I was so good. I kept telling him nothing had changed and I just used a slightly different technique so nothing really changed from usual. He kept insisting I tell him where I learned it from and I kept telling him the same thing. Then here is where I fucked up I joked around and told him I learned it from my boss(I should mention my Boss is in his late 60s(yuck) and he I get along really well but it's strictly business. He's basically like my dad). Anyway my SO goes nuts and starts accusing me of cheating. I started laughing and I explain I was kidding and nothing changed I just changed my technique up a bit for the BJ. My SO gets up and grabbed his stuff and just leaves. He texts me and says he and I are done and he isn't coming back and he KNOWS I'm cheating(which again I'm not I had just been kidding around to get him off my back). I texted him back and told him he was nuts and he could do whatever because he was being crazy and I explained it was a bad joke but he refused to believe me so now I'm single.
TL;DR: | Gave my boyfriend a crazy good bj by switching things up a bit I joked around and I told him I learned it from my much older boss and he broke up with me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24F] with my boyfriend [23M], I cannot stop feeling like he is cheating and I feel irrationally jealous and insecure. How do I overcome these feelings and learn to trust?
POST: Some background. Met this guy, let's call him Jack, about a year after getting out of a five year long relationship. He is amazing, very sweet, we've been together for almost a year now and we have been living together for a couple months. I am happier than I have ever been.
However, every single time he goes out with his friends, or even mentions a female coworker in conversation, my stomach burns with jealously and my mind races thinking of all the ways he could be cheating on me. Let me be clear that he has never thrown off any red flags to indicate that he may actually be cheating. I KNOW that I am being irrational and so I try very hard not to act on these feelings or give any indication that I don't trust him. I tell him to have fun with his friends and try to deal with these feelings on my own.
But the problem is that I don't trust him. I have never ever been able to find trust in any relationship I have ever been in. In my last relationship, I was that girlfriend texting 1000 times and having a meltdown every time my boyfriend went out with his friends. The result was that all his friends thought I was crazy (which is probably pretty accurate) and eventually x-boyfriend stopped going out until we spent ALL of our time together and suffocated our relationship.
Looking back I can see how my insecurities ruined that relationship and I don't want to make the same mistake twice. I don't want to be that crazy needy girlfriend ever again.
How? How do I learn to trust another person with my feelings and just have faith they won't trample all over my heart? I don't have any close friends, I have literally never fully trusted anyone in my life other than my mom who passed away two years ago. I feel completely alone. I don't want to be this jealous insecure person anymore. I want to know what it feels like to fully let someone in. But I don't even know how to go about tearing these walls down.
TL;DR: | I am irrationally insecure and scared of having my heart broken and as a result have never been able to find trust in any relationship. It has ruined relationships in the past and I don't want it to damage this one. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (F20)New GF has just told me (M20) that feelings have resurfaced for her ex high school Boyfriend.
POST: Well I just recently got into a relationship after a coworker who showed interest towards me. Here is a link to my previous post on /r/dating_advice [context] ( We have been going out for three weeks after just previously breaking up with her previous boyfriend(not her ex high school boyfriend). She came over to watch a movie today and then after I kissed her hello she kinda broke down saying that her ex high school boyfriend texted her seeing how she is doing and if she wants to hang out.
Now from what I've been told by her she dated him in her junior-senior year of HS, and broke up with him after he admitted he cheated on her. Then her freshmen year of college they reconnected and got back together for around 5 month and then one night she got drunk and ended up kissing her Bestfriends boyfriends cousin. She then broke it off with her HS BF.
Now after the texts she said the emotions kinda came rushing back for her. After talking with her I said maybe we should take it a little slowly and she aggreed. I tried to stay calm throughout the talk and I said that maybe its just nostalgia, but she said that she still has feelings towards him. I'm really confused on how to approach this situation because she was kinda my first GF. Should I continue to act nice or should I continue to act flirty towards her?
TL;DR: | New Girlfriends says feelings for ex HS BF have resurfaced after he texted her, how should I proceed from here. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [22/f] I'm crazy about this girl (19/f) who can really be a jerk. Her opinion is that this kind of behavior is expected and okay?
POST: I haven't felt like this about another person for a while...she's smart, she's cool and charismatic and funny, and can be really sweet. The only problem is she has a giant case of Douchebag-syndrome when she's in a bad mood, which is about half the time. She doesn't care what she says or how it hurts people. I get my feelings hurt easily, and the last time I went out with someone like this that made me feel this intensely it really wrecked me for a while. I've seen my sister and cousins be trapped in bad marriages/terrible relationships because they're with someone who fights all the time and doesn't do so honorably (doesn't avoid name calling and stuff.)
I pretty don't much fight, at all. If I have a problem, I talk about it or end the relationship if we can't work it out at all. Most people have been fine with that (I tend to like sweethearts moreso than people that can be jerks). I don't know how to handle her and should definitely stay away, except to be her friend, but...some people are just like drugs? Is there anything at all I could get out of this experience except heartache? I should just walk away, right?
And before someone says I can't really like her if I this is what I really think about her, she freely admits that she's an "asshole and hard to handle." She thinks this is perfectly normal behavior though.
TL;DR: | Girl that I like is an asshole and doesn't even try to be nice during fights, which happen a lot. Is the good worth the bad? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[22M] japanese girlfriend[22F] says things and does things that make me worried. First time serious relationship need help.
POST: My [22M] Japanese girlfriend [22F] of 2 months says things that deeply disturb me. Often times she says things like " what would you do if i said i no longer loved you", and when i react seriously to these things, she says "its a lie" or "I'm just teasing". I have confronted her about this so called "teasing" and she keeps insisting i am "taking her too seriously" or i am "overthinking things". Threatening breakup was also used once which i have angrily told her never to do again. She also likes to hit me, not hard but she says she enjoys it, me being slightly m and her being s, i don't mind as much but i should write this down as well.
I should also preface this by saying her family is pretty fractured with her father leaving her mother to start a new family when she was young, making her have trust issues. She also has a plethora of mental issues like claustrophobia which i believe to be quite serious, ie cuddling for ling periods if time with her as little spoon would cause "pressure". She also has school and work meaning her free time or personal time is short, often she suffers from stress which i have carefully tried to help with, i think its working...
I know there is a big culture difference considering she was raised in japan where we currently reside for the time being.
I am Canadian asian born overseas and emigrated. This is my first serious long term relationship and i have no idea what to do. Should i continue to just pretend its teasing? She says it helps her relieve some of the built up stress. Need help feels bad :(
TL;DR: | Japanese GF has trust issues and mental issues from parents, hits me and tells me things at disturb me, threatened break up once, first time relationship lost and need help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My Wife[27 F] is still friends with an ex on facebook and it makes me [29 M] uncomfortable.
POST: The title basically says it all, but I'm having trouble coming to grips with the fact that my wife is facebook friends with an ex from college. He is also married as well and lives across the country, but the fact that he will interact with her (like photos, comments, etc) makes me feel uncomfortable. I to explain in the reverse scenario, if I had an ex gf from college that still interacted with me, how would that make her feel, but it didn't really go anywhere. I feel like I could understand if it was a high school relationship but for some reason it's just weird seeing an ex "check-in" every now and again. And I don't know what to do. I am also possibly overreacting but wanted some input from you guys. Thank you!
TL;DR: | Wife's is facebook friends with college ex (who is also married), he still checks in on her via likes/comments and it makes me uncomfortable. Am I overreacting? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [m26] new girlfriend [f31] is awesome, but I'm having unintentional bad thoughts about her appearance.
POST: My new GF is awesome. We've been going out for a month now, we get along great, we have tons of things in common and she's even a gamer! This is also the first relationship I've had in a *long* time so I'm infinitely grateful that we're together.
But as we hang out I find myself having these weirdly negative (and completely unintentional) thoughts about her appearance. I don't want to sound like an asshole in this thread, so I'll just say that while she looks pretty good generally, her face isn't on par with the rest of her body. She has a lazy eye and big teeth, but she stills looks good.
Now, I'm no supermodel either. I was "the ugly kid" at school and I've never really cared about apperances, and I am *totally super cool* with her and how she looks. I really like her, inside and outside but when we spend time together I occasionally find myself having weird thoughts about her appearance and whether she's pretty or not.
I feel terrible every time I catch myself doing this, because all I want is to be with her without having some stupid subconcious crap running in the back of my head. I thought I'd ask for advice and see what you guys thought of the whole situation.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend is a bit of a [butterface] I don't care but I keep unintentionally judging her in my mind and I want to stop. Advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (19, female) think I may have feelings for my close male friend (known for 5 years, he's 21).
POST: i have known my close male friend, Pete, for about 5 years, he was an ex boyfriends best friend, and after the break up we stayed in touch. Pete and I have always been close, however I'm starting to think I may have feelings for him, pete has been dating another woman for 1 year now, however he has recently been coming to me to tell me how he wished to end things with her. He also stated that he hadn't told her about the latest time we met up for coffee, and we have made more plans since then.
I don't want to tell him my feelings, as he is with someone else and I don't want to ruin our friendship, he sends so many mixed messages, and I can't tell how he feels. He will text me behind his girlfriends back, but then refer to me as 'mate' and 'pal'. He has always been there for me and has supported me so much, what if my feelings are just lust, or the need to feel loved, or what if I seriously love him?! Should I risk it and tell him? Or should I ignore my feelings?
TL;DR: | I have feelings for my male friend, however he is seeing someone else and I don't want to ruin our friendship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Advice on how we both handle things.
POST: I'm 22M, she's 20F, together for a little more than 2 years. We've always had discussions in the past on how we differ in handling things. She can be extremely worried/stressed about what I perceive to be little things (everything needs to be perfect for her - for example, she can absolutely RAGE about her eggs not being cooked right), and on the other hand I'm pretty much indifferent about ANYTHING - this often times interpreted by her as either laziness or lack of caring.
Recently we were having a fairly heated argument on the phone about how I should take more responsibility for things that I'd rather not like to do but should be done (as is life). This didn't sit with me well because I'm the one that has been working full-time for the past 2 years, and she currently is not in school and not employed (past 6 months or so). She accused me of being selfish, for not taking time after work to do so and so, etc. And while I do acknowledge that I don't do too much after work (when I'm exhausted) - I don't feel it is fair for her to say. For me, going to work IS taking responsibility.
This (phone) conversation led to coming to a mutual understanding that we should take a week away from each other to wind down and think. I'm sorry if all of this is just a big mess and strung together words. I am fairly drunk right now.
TL;DR: | Is being indifferent (non-emotional) to most things part of who I am - or is it a lack of taking on life's responsibilities? How do you guys find the energy to do things after work? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28M] with my [30 F][31M] friend's marriage, should i suggest ending it?
POST: I've been friends with two Jess and Mitchell, people i met through work for about 4 years now. I met them as they decided to get married and they've been married for about 3 years now. Over time as I've gotten closer to Jess I've learned that her marriage is breaking down and she's been leaning on me for support. However over the past year its gone from support to us both doing some subtle flirting with each other. She has expressed several times that the only reason she hasn't left Mitchell is that she is scared and has mentioned off hand after drinking a few times that her and i are much more compatible and she wish she'd met me first. I feel the same way about her but I never wanted to admit that to her because she is already married.
Mitchell is a nice guy and a friend of mine as well, we play basketball and work on our dirtbikes together but the two of them just don't communicate at all and essentially its like two people just living as flatmates, not as husband and wife (she has admitted they don't even hug anymore, let alone anything physical). Jess wants kids and Mitchell doesn't which i know has been a major conflict point.
Jess isn't very happy at the moment and hasn't been for a long time, if she was just a friend then i would just outright suggest they break up but my problem is that i think both of us realise that we have a strong attraction to each other. We haven't done anything apart from some flirting but that is mainly because we both don't want to do anything while she is married as opposed to any lack of desire on both our ends. I don't want to suggest breaking up her marriage when i stand to possible 'gain' something from it as if it did happen I'm sure we would start seeing each other shortly afterwards. So, i guess my question is, should i tell Jess to break up with Mitchell? She would know why I'm suggesting it but i guess I'm just looking for some outside perspective.
TL;DR: | Should i tell my friend, unhappy in her marriage, to breakup with her husband when I'm likely to start seeing her straight away? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Girlfriend is leaving because she's unsure of a lot of things in her life; me included. How do I deal?
POST: Okay, long version:
I'm 29 and I've been dating this girl(25) for 4+ years now and have been living together for about 4. The past couple of weeks, I've noticed she's been kinda distant with her coming home late and leaving early. I take it that her new job at a start-up company has been really hectic.
Then last Saturday, I see her crying in our room. She's incoherent at first but after she calms down she tells me that she wants to break up. Apparently, she's been on the fence about it for the last 2 years or so now. She says she's unsure of a lot of things in her life; her career, her relationship with her family, her faith, etc.
She hasn't been able to see her old friends as much since then though I never discouraged her from doing so. She's also barely been able to go to her church since then. According to her, her entire world revolved around me somehow and that she never got to grow which was why she left home to "become independent".
So now she's breaking up with me because she feels that it's unfair to stay together when she's unsure of her feelings for me and also to find her own identity; one that that isn't defined by our being a couple.
I've never dated a girl this long so it's particularly hard on me and I'm not sure how to deal with this situation. I don't want her to go but I kinda get what she means. I can't get myself to get angry because of that. I don't want to bring this up with my closest friends since some of them live with us. It might cause a direct confrontation and I don't really want to put her through that. Feels like a guilt trip dick move if that happens.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend breaking up with me because she wants to find herself that isn't defined by us being a couple. Not sure how to deal. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Unfair employment opportunities?
POST: My boss just told us this week, two days in advance that his brother would be starting here on Friday, today. He is starting full time, right out of the gate. I am a full time employee and work up front, along with a few guys in the warehouse that are full time we all had to go through the "part time trial" time. Like 90 days or more? I started in September of last year and wasn't made full time until January. I stressed I wanted full time to begin with.
This just seems wrong to me? My boss even went out to warehouse and told the supervisor to forget about the "regular" training like pulling orders for a designated amount of time since he would be full time just to teach him everything quick basically. Maybe I'm just personally upset but I feel like there's more there. I will also note that the place is shady in quite a few aspects. Also, I'm in Indiana, if that matters!
Thanks in advance!
TL;DR: | my boss hired his brother full time right off the bat and I had to wait 3-4 months before being full time. Seems weird. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (21F) stayed with my boyfriend (25M) for two months, and now I think I'm taking him for granted.
POST: *throwaway for obvious reasons*
The last three months have been really hard for me. I've moved houses away from my last boyfriend (this was a long term relationship) and now I'm in a little place on my own.
In the beginning of seeing my current boyfriend (going on six months now), it was like a match on fire, I fell for him really quickly and I was giddy all the time at the thought of seeing him. I wanted to be around him all the time- we absolutely couldn't get enough of each other. Now, this is a guy who I can see myself married to, having children with, getting old and sitting next to him on a big ol' veranda swing while I knit and he plays on whatever portable console is new at the time.
As the lease got closer to running out on my old place, my ex became more passive aggressive, more violent and consistently threatened me and blackmailed me about possessions, finances etc. which had been combined when we were together. So to make things easier on me, I just stayed with my boyfriend for the last while between moving houses.
It was a bit of a shock which showed me that I really am not ready to live with him, and I'm worried that I've started to take him for granted now. It's been so long since I've felt the giddiness that used to come with thinking of him or seeing of him, and my treacherous mind has crossed the thought of ending the relationship. Maybe it's because I've seen him in sweatpants with unbrushed hair in the last few months, or maybe he farts too much around me now. IDK.
Can anyone help me out on how to take a step back and stop being so neurotic? I love this man, but I fear that spending so much time in such close quarters has given me 'familiarity breeds contempt', even though he's done nothing but be loving, kind and giving as much as he can.
TL;DR: | I stayed with my boyfriend for a couple of weeks before moving into my new place and now I think I'm taking him for granted. Halp! tell me how to get back to what I was. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [23M] girlfriend [23F] is being asked to choose between me and her family. How can I improve the relationship?
POST: I've been with my girlfriend for 2.5 years, and we've hit a bit of a rough patch.
My relationship with her family (whom she lives with) has never been great; I get on okay with her siblings and father, but her mother has never liked me. I've always been polite and friendly, but it can be like talking to a brick wall sometimes (who bitches about me behind my back), and so I perhaps haven't made as much of an effort as I could have.
Unaware that her Mum knew about our troubles, I went to see my girlfriend and had what I thought was the best conversation with her Mum in a long time, partly to show my girlfriend that I was making a real effort. Tonight, my girlfriend told me that her Mum thought that our conversation was forced and contrived because I was scared of losing my girlfriend and was doing whatever I could.
Her Mum has now said that if she stays with me, they will stop supporting her financially (she is planning on moving out and supporting herself soon, but has said recently that if she were asked to choose between us, she would have to choose family).
My girlfriend feels like I have had chances to improve the relationship before and have failed to do so, and even though I promise to make much more of an effort, the relationship between myself and her family would likely return to it's usual low level after a while.
To save my relationship with my girlfriend, I need to save my relationship with her family and I don't think small actions will cut it. What can I do? Are there any grand gestures or the like that could make a tangible difference to her Mum's low opinion of me?
Keep in mind that she will be cynical about whatever I do, although I guess it is more important for my girlfriend to see my effort now and I'll work harder in the long-term to build a proper relationship.
Complicating factor: I go overseas for 3 weeks in 24 hours, and am worried about being helpless away from the relationship.
TL;DR: | Gf's mother hates me, and my gf will choose her over me, how can I show them both that I'm decent and care about our relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: F(19) with family obsession.Don't want to pressure my SO M(20) Advice please!
POST: Hello!
First post in this Subreddit.
To begin: Me (F19) and my boyfriend(20) have been in a relationship for almost 7 months now. He's absolutely amazing and I'm honestly starting to think he may be the love of my life.
I have been in serious relationships before, including a boy with whom I moved out to live with. That relationship was psychologically abusive and ended 8 months after moving in, after he emotionally cheated on me and had a sexual skype affair. Needless to say, I am absolutely spoiled by my current man :)
My current issue is with myself. I have an obsession with the idea of starting a family. My SO and I have discussed it casually a few times, and have openly communicated what we desire in terms of the possible timeline of our relationship. He says he doesn't mind, but I can't help but feel like I'm putting unnecessary pressure on him, even though a possible engagement and all is still quite a few years away.
To put a few things in perspective, I'm a second year undergrad, living on my own and entirely financially responsible for myself. My SO currently lives with family, but spends every night over. We are taking things casually, and communicating about everything. Not only are we dating, but we have a beautiful friendship as well. We are just different enough to complement each others personalities. My obsession with family stems from my cultural background as well as my very complicated and mosaic family situation. All the steps I am currently taking are all in the goal of giving all I can to my children. If I cannot achieve a stable employment situation and marital situation, I simply and sadly would not have children.
I'd like to hear some advice from both men and women about my current situation, as well as some rational reasons to mute this behavior.
TL;DR: | f(19) currently obsessed with he idea of starting a family in a few years. Boyfriend doesn't mind the conversation, but how can I get this obsession under control? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (20M) just started dating a girl (18F) and just learned she's bi. Not sure how to proceed
POST: So I matched this one girl on Tinder, and things started out well. We chatted for a few days, found a lot in common, and had similar senses of humor, so I decided to go on a date. The date went well, and we had a good time, but (1) she lives too far away to see often, and (2) she's a close relative of one of my sibling's good friends. We both thought that this would work fine, and arranged another date in 2 weeks on Valentine's day.
After the date, I decided to friend her on Facebook. (Should I have earlier?) Of course she said yes, and after some minor snooping around (ok, Facebook stalking) for a couple of minutes I realized that she's bi. I know this shouldn't be a problem, and I should just continue with the relationship, but for some reason it just feels like the dynamic on my side has changed significantly. One reason of this is because of my family. I was raised in a very conservative Christian home, so I'm pretty sure they won't approve of the relationship if they find out. Secondly, it just feels weird. I know she's into me, but I feel a lot more awkward getting close to her now. I can't explain why, but the feelings are just different now.
She doesn't know that I know yet, so I feel like I have an out at this point. I also feel bad breaking up with her specifically because she's bi, but also because that just feels plain wrong to do something like that. On the other hand, I feel like the feelings of closeness and friendship we had early on are not the same as they once were. I pretty much have 2 weeks to come to a decision, as that is the next time we meet in person (but I also don't want to break up on Valentine's day). I feel incredibly conflicted right now.
TL;DR: | Just started dating a girl, we really clicked, I found out she's bi, and now I can't feel the same way anymore and have no idea what I should do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit I dont know who else to ask so Please give me advice....
POST: So, I have been living in Kent, Ohio for the past 8 months. I finally decided to move back to New York near my family and friends. I plan on leaving on August 8th, heres the problem, i mean problems. My car won't start its not the battery; its either the starter or alternator. My roomates already moved out and I have no one who can jump me at the moment. I have a shop who will basically do the work for free if i can get it there.
Next, I had an issue at work my boss at, Chipotle (as my recent IamA can backup) basically tried to punch me in the face which was prefaced with the quote "SHUT THE FUCK UP, AND DONT SPEAK UNLESS SPOKEN TO." Since I'm transfering Chipotle's anyway in a week I spoke to HR and asked for an early transfer.
Next problem, I don't get paid until August 5th. Until then I have $30 usually not bad, unless I have to fix my car, drive 8 and a half hours, and survive for a week.
So, Here is my question Reddit...how do i take out a quick loan???
TL;DR: | i have been fucked over and over and with a week before i drive from ohio to ny. im broke and need a loan |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [M29] of 1 1/2 years promised me [F23] that he would not drink tonight. He had a beer.
POST: In the past my boyfriend has done inappropriate things. He admits them and apologizes. For example, when we first started dating I told him that I did not feel that grinding with another woman is appropriate. I literally told him I considered it cheating. He agreed and told me he would not. A week later, a woman started grinding on him, instead of walking away, he continues to grind on her while she starts putting her hand on him, pulling his crotch closer to her. We got past this though, he apologized and an incident like this hasn't happened.
There have been other incidents of his inappropriate behavior and behavior that he promised me he would not do, but I digress. To make me comfortable going to a pool party where he'd basically be the only guy there, I asked him not to drink any alcohol. I told him that his past behavior made me a little nervous, but I didn't want to hold him back from his social life, so as a compromise, he should go and have fun, but refrain from drinking. I specifically said that this would be a great opportunity to rebuild the trust that had been lost.
Well, he went and had a beer. He confessed because he thought I found out from someone and when I got upset that he broke his promise, he replied that at least he told the truth about the beer and that he could have just lied. But here's the thing, he only told me because he thought I already knew. I'm not even sure if he would have confessed if he thought I had no idea.
I'm still upset, because it's not about the beer. It's the fact that there have been multiple incidents where he told me he was not going to do something like the grinding, but he goes ahead and does it anyways, because he thinks "it's not a big deal." I'm not sure what to do here. He says that I shouldn't give up on this relationship, but I feel like he doesn't respect me enough to follow through with his word. How do you stay in a relationship without trust? Can you gain it back?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend constantly tells me one thing and does another. I love my boyfriend, but I don't know how to trust him. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I[18M] am not sure if She[17F] is interested.
POST: Alright so I'll apologize in advance for the wall of text that you are about to behold, but this is kind of a tricky story.
I'm 18 and just moved to a new state about 2 years ago. Soon after my family and I got here, my dad made a friend at work who had a daughter who is now 17. Both her and my parents tried to set us up together, and we both refused considering that it was our parents setting up a date for us. Well about a week ago her parents went out of town for 3-4 days and she came over to our place to stay for about 3 nights.
This was the first time we actually met, and it turns out she is actually pretty cute. Over the 3 nights she stayed we spend a lot of time together, staying up till 7am twice just watching movies and talking. We had a lot of touching going on, nothing to promiscuous but rather touching of arms sitting really close together(e.g. I was laying down on the couch and she came over and, without a word, lifted my legs sat down and put my legs back down on her lap...and this is 2 days after we had met for the first time)
Anyway, she left the other night and we had already exchanged numbers so I tried to stay in contact. She doesnt seem to want to talk to me through text that much and I'm not sure if its just because shes not a big texter(I didnt see her with her phone all that much while she was with me) or if she just doesnt want to talk. I had messaged her asking when she was free and She told me she worked all weekend and she doesnt know when she's free again but "We will definitely figure it out!".
I didn't text her at all yesterday or today, and she has yet to initiate a conversation. So what should I do? Do you think I'm overthinking this.
TL;DR: | I (18m) feel like I'm geting mixed signals from a the daughter (17f) of a family friend, want to know how to proceed or if I should. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it possible for my boyfriend [21] to learn to masturbate without looking at pictures of other naked women?
POST: We have recently talked about his frequent masturbation and I totally understand his higher sex drive. I'm 20 and masturbate too. We have been in a happy relationship for 3.5 years. The difference is that I don't need to watch porn or look at pics, I can just do it. I can see in his computer history at the pictures he jerks off too, and it really hurts to know he looks at all these other naked (slutty) girls! We have sex 1-3 times a week. He loves it, I love it. Is there a way for him to jerk off and not look at visual stimulates?
TL;DR: | I want to know if guys can masturbate without pictures/porn and if not how do I deal with it, because it hurts and makes me jealous. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I find that the only time I [21/m] do not think about my ex girlfriend [21/f] is when I am talking to other girls.
POST: as the title says, I find the only time I am not feeling anxious, jealous, angry and sad about my ex girlfriend and our previous relationship is when I feel I am doing well with other girls.
What I mean by "doing well" with other girls is flirting, feeling attractive to other girls, getting phone numbers, kissing, and being overall intimate with other girls.
The reason why I am worried is because all my hobbies, studies, and everyday activities make me think of my ex girlfriend. I wallow in various emotions and I feel obsessed over my ex unless I can preoccupy my mind with another girl.
Im worried that in the future, the only way I can get over a female is through another female. A dependent cycle that I cannot escape.
TL;DR: | I find the only way I can stop obsessing over my ex is through being with other girls. This scares me because I feel dependent on others and cannot find my own freedom of emotion through hobbies, books, other external sources |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by getting too drunk on a important company party
POST: It was actually yesterday. I'm 19 and I work for a company that sells office supplies, and we were throwing a party for our most important customers and clients, lots of really grown up important people. I haven't been working on this company for a long time so I dont know any of these people, so I Asked the guy who was the head of the committee for something I could help with, he told me just to walk around and talk to people. and everyone else was talking and i had never met anyone, and it all just felt really awkward. Anyways they were serving champagne at the bar, and there were always champane, Im not a huge drinker, it's actually over three months since the last time I last got drunk. and I drank ALOT, and everything went cool enough until i just blacked out. then i woke up in my bed covered in puke by the alarm on my phone, i had to be on work at 8:00am. so i got up puked and showerd and went to work. One of my coworker told me that I went to the bathroom with a girl who was a customer of ours, and were there for a while. after that I got out and i had fixed people pirate taxies, like people driving other people for money, just alot Cheaper. and I also hooked someone up with cocaine. I know this guy who sells it, i dont do coke myself, I just happen to know the guy, anyways i had called him and he brought the drugs. after that I had fallen around and stumbled and been very loud and obnouxous and said that my company was not paying me well enough. And i dont remember anything from it, and its not like me, nothing like that has ever happend before, I think it is the champagne because i have never tried it before.this is the worst day of my life and I have no idea what happend to me, when i spoke to the boss it sounded like I was going to stay, but im not quite sure yet..
TL;DR: | Got blackout drunk at important company party. made a fool of myself and had sex with a customer and sold drugs to another. boss found out and i think i have lost my job. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (m26) met a (22f) online. I thought things were good but...
POST: So I went out on a couple of dates with a this girl. Things got physical both nights. Now I have huge trust issues and I asked her to tell me if she wanted to keep dating other people since I saw her online lots. She said she did wanted her options open but told me she would tell me if she did. So in my sick mind created a fake profile and hit on her. It worked, and I just found out our movie date got cancelled for a dying uncle. Big lie, she went on a date. Fake me made plans for saturday, same day she's supposed to come over if she can find a sitter. If not it was next weekend, she told me that as well. Should I confront her? How should I go around things. I'm really stressed and really sick of dating. Its not been good, at all. Cheated on everytime.
TL;DR: | Met a girl online. Things were good but I found out she lie about a dying relative to go out on a date. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [25m] revisting old relationship with [26f] ex questions
POST: we were together for about 2 years and in the middle of it moved across the country for work. she followed months after and things were, rough. obviously the move and new jobs added to this but i started to be frustrated.
it was little things such as not being adventurous and not wanting to try new foods, was always the same thing. also she was a bit more into social media than i would like but was a good person. she did contribute alot and was very sweet.
it eventually got too much and we broke up and she moved back. now 6 months later i am debating trying again. i dont want to be bored the rest of my life but we match pretty well on values.
should that be more important and able to compensate for shortcomings on a list of ideal things? how do i avoid being bored, its not just food but other things as well.
TL;DR: | bad breakup, far apart in the country but wanting to try again. good or bad idea? how to work past missing things on the ideal relationship if we match value wise? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit we have all burned bridges, but have you ever started a forest fire ?
POST: Posted my story somewhere else and it got me interested in other people and their stories of just throwing caution to the wind and saying what needed to be said regardless of actions afterwards.
This is about 3 weeks ago. Having a party my best friends girlfriend starts to get on me because i got fired from my shitty bestbuy job saying "You know thefunnyman88, I am so much better than you? I have a car AND a job, and i get laid just about every day while your home alone being a loser". She was drunk out of her mind saying this but i cant stand a cunt belittling me regardless so i fired back "Well this loser paid for the booze you drank yours, mine and andrews share of, bought the pizza that you ate most of because your fucking fat, and you get fucked because unfortunately andrew cant suck his own dick so he has to put it somewhere. I may not have a job right now but atleast my moms upstairs , oh i guess yours is too (her mom died in january ) ." She grabbed my neck , dug her nails into it and cut me, think i caught whore rabies. After that while i started cleaning up my buddy says to me "you know you should not have said that mom shit to her". And i just told him "Fuck you if you think women can say what ever they want and guys have to take it and i hope she crashes her god damn car into a pole". He left and i will tell you one thing, i have never had a more peaceful sleep in my life, have not been invited out by my circle of friends he is a part of but life goes on.
TL;DR: | had a party , best friends girl started being a drunk bitch cutting into me for no reason , i fire back an insult .... lose an entire circle of friends in the process but it was worth it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Almost caught stealing --- should I go back and pay?
POST: I live off campus, and am strapped for cash. I am starting to feel sick and really wanted something packed with Vitamin C, so I went for a Naked juice. Of course, the campus markets overprice everything, and as much as I try to justify stealing --- it is wrong.
I almost got away with it with no repercussions, but then one of the employees stopped me and asked me if I had anything. I told him I put the drinks back, and he began to tell me he's seen people stealing all day. I'm almost positive he knew that I hadn't, but decided to let me go anyways. On my walk back home, I felt like an ass. The drink was probably $4.
TL;DR: | Stole a drink, almost got caught, employee guilt tripped me and let me go, thinking of going back and paying |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU on a first date
POST: This girl texted me the other day and I was reminded of my huge fuckup on our first date, which was about a year ago.
So I know her from highschool in our hometown, but I hadn't seen her for 5 years. I saw her working in a bar, we talked a little and exchanged phone numbers. Few weeks later we planned our date, which was at 22.00 but we hadn't decided on the location yet. The day of our date the fuckup began..
She texted me that morning saying :"You should really know I had a huge crush on you five years ago..". I kind of freaked out and didnt know how to react. I was hanging out with some friends of mine when she called me to ask where we were going to meet. Having set the location, I hung up the phone and told my buddies about the text I had recieved that morning. One of them told me I was definitely getting laid that night, that I should take advantage of the situation. Some typical drunken male trashtalking ensued. I told them there was a thin line between taking advantage and being taken advantage of, and left for the date.
So it's 22.00 and she isnt there. 22.15, still no one. At 22.30 she walked in and acted super cold. She didnt order a drink and was obviously not willing to have a normal conversation. After ten minutes she asked: "So who are you going to take adventage of tonight?"
Turns out I didn't hang up the phone when I meant to and she heard everything. EVERYTHING.
TL;DR: | Didnt hang up the phone when I meant to and my date overheard me and my friends trashtalking about me getting some tonight. Didnt get any. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My wife suddenly want to change her life and there's no place for me. Redditors, what to do?
POST: Everything was perfect since the wedding (1 1/2 year ago), in October we moved in to our brand new house, it was for both of us like a dream come true. In the same time she went to new job, because she doesn't liked the previous one and it wasn't well paid. My salary was twice as her, now she earn the same money.. and the problem begins. She never had chance do earn enough money to live alone. Her parents that were giving her cash for life and then we met. We started living together (for about 2yrs), than was the great wedding and no one was expecting bad things that are now happening. Now we're together 3 1/2 yrs (dating+marriage) and one month in new job, and she want to change everything, move out, live alone, divorce. Her parents are on my side, they really treating me like a son. They don't know why she so suddenly started to act so irresponsibly. We're both 26, we did had some serious relationships before. Since first dates we both felt the same - passion and love. She doesn't accept any arguments, from everyone, her parents, sister etc. I don't have any clear evidence that's she's cheating me. Redditors please give me some advice, what to do?
TL;DR: | Wife got new job, and now wants to move out/divorce, cause she can now earn enough to live alone. Before new work - life for both of us was perfect. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [28 F] exboyfriend [30 M] of 7 years and I work together, help with forced contact.
POST: 3 weeks ago my ex admitted to cheating on me and dumped me. He left with his clothes, leaving me with the house, animals, responsibility, etc. (I made a post about this asking for help getting through the first few weeks (just in case you recognize my name/go back in my history)). I'm still very overwhelmed, but I have a clearer head, and I'm looking for help with contact. I didn't think this was really an update, as I have different questions/concerns now.
It seems the general consensus in breakups is that NO CONTACT is the best. Well, unfortunately, this is not possible. We both work at the same small retail store (I started here first... brought him over years ago, bad choice!). I have requested that he and I have as opposite schedules as possible, but that is not always possible.
I have also requested that my ex look for a new store to work at, which he said he would (but I don't know if he will follow through & it is a long process).
Anyway, until that day comes (it might not for months... or ever) does anyone have any suggestions on how to get by day-to-day with him? He is not having the same problems I am (he says he can 'compartmentalize'). Sometimes we are forced to engage with customers together, or talk on the phone about work-related things. He is also seemingly happy and having fun, while I have to go cry for 5 minutes and can't seem to smile. Today I did everything I could to avoid eye contact with him, but that lead me to looking at the floor much of the day... which isn't a great solution when I'm supposed to be outgoing and bubbly at work.
Does anyone have advice for getting through a breakup when no-contact is not possible?
TL;DR: | ex of 7 years who cheated/left and i work together. no contact is not possible-- do you have any suggestions on getting through this obstacle? any tips for learning how to keep my emotions in check? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [23 M] of five months who is usually wonderful, will sometimes ignore me for a week at a time out of the blue. When I [21 F] confront him about it, he says he has had depression.
POST: So we have a great relationship, where we can talk through our issues and generally have mutual respect and love. I don't doubt that he cares for me and when he is not depressed, he is very affectionate and attentive. I love him and really don't want to be with anyone else and I think that this warps my ability to think about the issue clearly.
For the past three months or so, he'll have a week where suddenly he just completely cuts off contact. He won't speak to me, or acknowledge me until I have to almost force him to. Then he backtracks, apologizes, and starts this deep confessional about how he gets really depressed and wants to be alone and can't speak to anyone.
I am 100% willing to work with him on the depression, but here's the rub. He's been getting these "episodes" a lot lately, where he'll still be out with friends, he'll still go on facebook, etc, and everything will seem fine. Except he won't speak to me or his family.
I just don't know what to do at this point. I'm only 21, and I feel that I could end up losing a lot of precious time on a relationship that is constantly up and down. But by that same token, I genuinely love this guy and don't want to leave him. I don't know what I'm dealing with here. I don't know if he genuinely gets depressed, or if he just uses it as an excuse when he doesn't feel like talking. It's so bizarre, we'll go from seeing each other every day, and him telling me he misses me even when we've only been apart for a couple of hours. Then suddenly one day, it'll stop and I have to wait for him to snap out of it.
Reddit, if you were me, what would you do?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend periodically checks out of relationship, says its depression. It happens a lot. Should I stay or should I go? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Should I go to school or stay at the beach?
POST: Here's the situation Reddit, I'm a senior at a major university, this coming fall semester will be my last. My girlfriends family goes out to St. George Island every summer, generally the last week so that it's not very crowded. My problem right now is that this year they are going Sunday to Sunday, and my class starts on Wednesday. I'm only enrolled in 4 classes, one of which is online, however one of the classes meet twice a week, the other two meet once a week. Also, I've only got class on Wednesday and Thursday, no Friday classes for me. As some of you fellow students know missing the first day of class is not a big deal, there's usually just a brief overview of the syllabus and maybe the course content, but the classes that meet once a week (which are about two hours long), generally divide the first hour to boring syllabus stuff and the second hour to course content. Now sometimes the professors in the once a week classes will let everyone out early on the first day, but I have a suspicion that the current professors for my class will not. So what should I do?
TL;DR: | My inner child wants to say screw the first two days of school and stay at the beach for a full week, but the grown up part of me says I should go to school. What would you do in my shoes? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My friend says I'm stealing, I say I'm recouping my losses. Your opinions?
POST: I recently purchased a product for my car. It cost me several hundred dollars. When it arrived, and upon installation, I found something was wrong on it which didn't allow me to properly install everything back to normal condition. With it being my only vehicle, I had to make it work (the part I was replacing failed, so I had no choice). This involved me draining some things on my car that will later require me to dig into my own pockets to fix.
The company sends me out a new part, which is correctly built this time. I install it, dig into my own pockets to get everything into working order again, and it ends up costing me about a hundred or so more than it should have, plus the several extra hours I had to put into this.
The company sent a return shipping label with the new part to send the "bad" one back. Here's the delimma.
This "bad" part is fixable, by a friend of mine, which could be done for about $10 (I couldn't drive down to him to have it fixed at the time, my only car, remember? So I had no transportation). But now that it's no longer in my car, I can drive it to him to get it fixed.
I want to do this, and sell it to recoup some of the losses this company caused me out of my own pocket for their mistake. This was about a month or two ago, and they haven't contacted me again requesting me to send it back/asking if I sent it back.
Am I in the wrong here, and would you consider it stealing? Or am I right for wanting to recoup my losses for their screw up?
TL;DR: | friend says I'm stealing for not returning a car part that was replaced, I say I should sell it to recoup financial losses the company's screw up caused me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: "I just watched the cable news channel. Everything is terrible!"
POST: title not entirely related.
So I'm 19. Graduated high school last year, took a gap year, I'll be a freshman in the fall.
This year I've had the opportunity to work with a team of great people, but I never really hang out with them since they're 21+ so they never invite me. I had the opportunity to go to the beach with them today, but the plans were changed suddenly without my knowledge (my groupme app decided to not send me messages for the 6 hours that this conversation happened.). The change of plan/how I found out pissed me off, and the new plan was much harder for me to go along with logistically, so I cancelled.
Massive regret, but that's not all
Instead of being pissed off, I decided to hang out with my high school friends. However, they've all become drug users/drinkers, neither of which are things I want to do at this time. They also look down on those that drink/smoke more, calling them degenerates when it really doesn't seem like they're doing much better.
So as it stands: I have a whole summer to kill. Most of my work "friends" are leaving town, and I don't want to hang out with my high school friends. I'm just stuck doing nothing until August when I go to college. Not planning on coming home too much the way things are looking.
TL;DR: | drifted apart from HS friends, haven't made any new ones despite ample opportunity. Feeling like everything fucking sucks right now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] met this [23 F] for the first time last week, and on both dates, it got pretty physical. I wanna know what she wants.
POST: First of all, this might sound pretty dumb so if you are not willing to really help me, you can just downvote and move on. Respectfully.
Anyway, met this girl last week randomly. I saw her thought she was cute asked her number and started texting her. We set up a date to hang out on Monday night after our work. We went for a dinner nearby her place and went for some drinks afterwards. Things were going great. All smile and laugh and we both were interested in similar stuff. When we were pretty drunk and about time for me to drop her off, it was pouring outside. So we had to stay in my car for a bit. Things got pretty hot quickly. We were making out and boom went for more physical stuff. And dropped her off at her place around 1 am. Since that night she has been texting me a lot. ALSO she called me "boo" and "babe" a couple of times. She also told me that she broke up with her ex about 2 months ago. the whole week, she asked me if I want to come over and have dinner with her. I really wanted to but I was so busy I had no time for dinner. On Thursday, I was going to go visit her but my car broke down and told her about the situation. And she told me that she will come visit me which was very unexpected. So we went out for dinner and walked around for a bit and also this led to sex. She went home for this weekend and hasn't talked to me the entire weekend. I'm not worrying about that tho. What I worry about is that I read wrongly what she is trying to do and fall for her. I've let my guard up so far but it will be great if Redditors can give me an idea of what she is trying to do between us and what I need to do. I've been just hooking with random girls for a long time after my bad relationship a couple years ago. So i'd like to care about someone. Please let me know what my next moves should be. Thanks. Cheers.
TL;DR: | Met this girl(23) a week ago, moving on a really fast pace but mostly about sex but the way she texts me and treats me seems like we are dating. Wanna know how to react on this situation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Who was (or is) your worst teacher and why? I'll start...
POST: I had an English teacher who had the most annoying grating voice, kind of like a cross between crying and whining, and she would constantly giggle at her own little inside jokes. Then, our first project was to blog a few entries onto blogger.com, come up with a creative writing paper, create a picture showing a timeline of our life, and make all of it into its own supporting html page. It had nothing to do with English whatsoever. By the time our second project was due, she still hadn't graded our projects and hadn't gone over what we had to be doing for our second project: an interview, stating views on a topic, making a diorama, and some other weird paper that really didn't connect in any way shape or form. We got our first project back 2 days before we had to turn in our finals. I immediately headed over to her office with a drop-note in hand. She asked me to come in and what could she help me with, yada, yada, yada. I said, "You have consistently put in material that doesn't make sense to most students here, have no idea how to use half of the software or programs that we are required to use, give us back our projects weeks after the fact, and then give us terrible grades when we don't seem to understand what you want from us despite the previously stated subject of you not knowing how to utilize the tools that you require use to know. I have no doubt that you are very good at English. However, your teaching needs to change." She glared at me and began to look all teary-eyed and said something about herself trying to help her fellow teacher's and correcting some of their papers as well and that was why she didn't have time to do some of her own material, yada, yada. I sort of felt sorry for her because she was not smart enough to realize that she could say "No, I have my own class to worry about" to her fellow teachers, and I stated this, but she brushed it off as a non-option. After that, whenever we would meet walking down a hall, she would glare at the wall.
TL;DR: | My teacher was annoying, didn't have a clue how to teach her own material, and didn't hand back stuff in a timely manner due to other teachers. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 F] with my long-distance [31 M] of 6 months, lying unnecessarily about girls he was sexting/sleeping with before we hooked up
POST: This is not a very clear cut problem and I would really appreciate some help.
I was talking to my now boyfriend for about a year before we eventually met up. The reason for this long frame of time was because I was very ill and was in and out of hospital - which he was aware of - and it was clear I was not lying about this as my health problems had impacted massively on my university exams and I was made to sit them later.
When we first started talking, he would drunkenly text/snapchat me and it was clear that he was doing this with multiple other girls. About 8 months before we met up, he told me that he liked me and he wasn't hooking up with anyone else - completely off his own back, I knew I wouldn't be able to commit to seeing him so made sure I was not the first to say this but told him I reciprocated.
When we finally met up, we decided instantly that we wanted to be exclusive and during the 6 months we have been together there have been no problems whatsoever. However, when I have asked him about the other girls he was sexting etc, numerous red flags started to appear.
So 6 months down the line and after countless conversations and lies it appears he slept with two other girls, was sexting a handful of others, 3 of which he had previously slept with - and he had been in contact with these girls up until the weekend we met. I have no problem that this happened, as I was pretty aware these things were going on, I just feel that it's hard to trust him. In our most recent conversation he admitted that he probably would have slept with one of the girls he was in contact with if we hadn't of met up when we eventually did. He has a long history of cheating and it's taken 6 months and a lot of questions by me and lying on his part to get where we are now. Any help with how to overcome this?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend slept and sexted multiple girls before we became official, problem is not that it happened but that he has lied so much about it the trust is shaky |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By trying to co-exist with my cockroach roomates
POST: I live in a really shitty apartment, and the worst part is i'm on the first floor (ground level). It wasn't always so shitty thou, and i could have prevented it. So it was around a couple of months ago, when i first witnessed my first cockroach. It was molecular in size, and i didn't think much of it, and i was too lazy to grab a show to kill it (and too pussy to step on it barefoot). Anyways, as days went by, i started to see more and more, but nothing that really made me want to start exterminating them.
It was really late at night, when i first saw the horror i've allowed to grow. I went to grab something to curb my hunger that night (last night's pizza), and the look on my face when i began to see dozens and dozens of these icky brown insects scuttling across the floor, into crevices in the walls I didn't even know existed. I open the fridge, more of them scuttling out of the fridge, and the pizza, i don't even want to talk about it.
Around this time, i decided i'd try and eliminate these fiends, and bought bottles upon bottles of Raid. I was awestruck by how tonnes and tonnes of roaches start having epileptic fits when i sprayed em, i felt powerful. But the raid wasn't powerful enough, and the roaches were much smarter than i thought. Soon the usual crevice was clean of roaches, nothing was in the fridge. For a while i thought the battle was won.
But i was wrong, very, very wrong. No the roaches weren't gone, they went into hiding. I started to find them inside my tables, shoes, this very laptop i'm typing on. They were much more aggressive too, i started to find small bumps all over my body, and empty roach sacs a many on the top of my cupboards, and closets.
It was by pure accident yesterday that i broke a tiny piece of the wall, and found what seemed like hundreds bleeding out of it. I've finally decided to enlist the help of professional exterminators, will probably be out of the apt. for a couple days.
TL;DR: | Saw a cockroach, let it live. Grew into an empire i couldn't defeat. Just recently enlisted help... |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I may have found out a friend's dark secret...I need some advice...
POST: I [29M] have a very unique situation. My friend [27M] fell off the face of the planet about a year ago. We didn't know why at first, but his roommate told us a few days after that he was arrested. A few weeks later, our friend came around again. He started outright lying to us about why he disappeared. He never admitted to being arrested, and he has yet to come forward with any of the events of that night.
I have an acquaintance at the police department, and after nearly a year, curiosity got the best of me. He suggested asking for the police report, as it is a public record. He then made a disturbing claim - the charge was possession of child pornography.
I'm at a loss as to how to handle this, as he's an integral part of our group of friends. Some of us have been friends with him for almost ten years. I'm afraid of confronting him, because if the tip I received is wrong, it would be very offensive. I also don't fully know the scenario, yet. I don't know why he isn't in jail if his charge is that serious. If it's true, then it doesn't seem fair to my friends that they don't know, and it's definitely disconcerting to my wife and I, as my wife is pregnant with our first child...
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle this delicate situation? I'm at a loss...
TL;DR: | Close friend may have been arrested for possession of child pornography, but he's tight lipped. I'm expecting my first child. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21 F] think my boyfriend [22 M] might have depression and I don't know how to help
POST: I can't say for sure that my boyfriend has depression because I'm not a doctor or a psychologist, but he's not happy. He gets in these moods of extreme hopelessness and despair sometimes. He hates his life, he feels like the world has been unkind to him, and he can't see any way out. Sometimes when he gets in these moods he says things that I find very hurtful, for example that he has never had a support system or has never been comforted by anyone. I spend time and energy trying to support and comfort him, and it feels like my efforts are meaningless. But I don't want to say that and pile on to the negativity he's already feeling. I don't really want to say anything actually. Trying to be optimistic makes him feel worse, just listening isn't enough, and saying "I'm sorry you're feeling like this" over and over obviously isn't helpful. I tried to mirror what he does when I'm feeling sad, which is to remind me of the positive things that are happening in my life. But when I did that he said it wasn't helpful, because his issues aren't related to a warped perception things. Anyway I'm at a loss and I feel like a complete failure as a partner. He did see a psychologist a couple times and it seemed to help, but he doesn't have access to one right now. I also want to note that this isn't a constant thing, but when it does happen I don't know how to deal with it.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend sometimes feels very hopeless can't provide any comfort. I need advice on helping someone through an emotionally difficult time. |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: People of Reddit, why do you hate so much on Republicans/Fox News/Conservatives?
POST: I've been on this website for a couple of years now now(3 lurking, 1 using), and all I see is "LOOK HOW RIDICULOUS WHAT FOX NEWS SAID NOW IS". I am a conservative republican who believes in lower taxes and small government, not Glen Beck or Limbaugh. I don't want Sarah Palin to be president, she's an idiot. I don't like Obama because I believe the only skill he has is reading off a teleprompter, not because he's black. Fox News is not perfect, all news and media is biased in today's world. But Fox for the most part comments on what I believe in. I am not a redneck or a white supremacist, etc.
TL;DR: | I come to Reddit to get away from bias, not towards it. Lately it's just "fuck fox news". No balance whatsoever. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: Why can I not get a handle on this situation with my daughter?
POST: My daughter, 23, lives at home while she finishes school. She will be done in August. She has 2 children- twins, 4 years old. I'm a SAHM and watch the little ones while she's in school.
She does the absolute BARE minimum as far as helping out. I have to ride her ass to get her to wash their dishes and clean her room, etc...
I'm exhausted and irritated. She's more interested in dating whatever douche canoe she's found this week than actually helping.
*I* personally have zero issues with a tough love approach. My husband, her dad, however won't do anything that will potentially cause the little ones any discomfort. Which I can see his point, it's not their fault. And I do not not not want to become their full time care taker. I have 3 other children, 2 at home and I'm just not interested.
Is there a solution? Is there some vital parenting wisdom I don't see? I'm at my wits end and starting to resent my daughter.
TL;DR: | my adult daughter is lazy, can't kick her and my grandkids out. Don't want her to leave without them. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Completely a 'first world problem', but dammit, I need help deciding!
POST: OK, so I took 2 years off school after I graduated high school, went to college for 2 years, then took a year off to travel, and now I'm back. In my major, I'm expected to get a summer job relating to my major this year, and it's a graduation requirement. However, I could push it back and travel again this summer and just do the job later on before I graduate.
I'm really caught up in the whole 'live in the moment' mentality, and I feel like if I don't take every single moment available where I could be traveling before I'm 30 with a real job, I'm gonna have regret later on. I was abused growing up, and I feel like I missed out on a lot of living, so now I feel like I have to live 'extra' to make up for it. At the same time, if I take the summer off, my advisor is probably going to be quite frustrated with me due to how much time I've already taken off, and I'm getting mildly old to still be an undergrad. I think she already sort of hate me for my 'slacking'...event though I do have a 4.0. Oh, and one other important thing-the summer job that's available is sort of horrible. I feel like if I take this job, and have it on my resume later on, I'll be completely typecast as someone who only does this position.
TL;DR: | Should I take a professional summer job, which is completely expected of me, or spend my summer traveling? What's the mature answer to this dilemma? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29 M] with my girlfriend [28 F] for 3 years, she wants to move in together, not sure I'm ready
POST: My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We've been having a back and forth conversation for a while about moving in together (when we talk about it, it's her bringing the topic up 90% of the time, if I bring it up it's generally in response to her having brought it up recently prior to that). I lived with a previous girlfriend for 2 years in my early 20's and have experienced how hard it is to remove yourself from a live-in relationship situation if you decide you don't want to be in it any longer.
We're about to hit our dating anniversary and she said about 6 months ago that she wanted a resolution on living together by this time...so the rubber is likely going to hit the road on this issue pretty soon.
I'm hesitant for a few reasons (in no particular order):
1) Not sure I'm ready to never date anyone else again
2) Not sure I want to move in with a S.O. again at this time
3) Not sure if she's "the one"
Curious as to what people's perspective is on this, especially men who have gone through the same situation and if it has gone well or poorly for you. Also interested in hearing women's opinions who have been in similar situations.
TL;DR: | Been with my girlfriend for 3 years, she wants to move in together and starting moving things towards marriage, not sure I'm ready. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by watching JonTron.
POST: Revisiting my university's library reminded me of something embarrassing that happened at the start of the spring semester last year.
I had just gotten out of a class and had about two hours before the next one, so I went to the library, as I did the previous years, for some quiet web surfing on my laptop in one of those private desk areas. I had just recently started watching Jontron, and saw that he put out his video for Space Ace on the SNES ([which you should totally watch, by the way] I plugged in my headphones and was watching the episode when at about the time when Jon said "Here's the lollipop after your doctor's visit", some other student approached me and calmly, but sternly, told me to "turn [my] fucking laptop down". I thought the guy was hearing the runoff audio from my headphones, and was about to say something, but when I took off my headphones, I was still hearing the episode, at max volume, through my laptop speakers. Apparently, I connected my headphones only partially through the jack, so it was playing through both the headphones *and* the speakers. I profusely apologized, the guy said he didn't care, and I felt terrible. What's worse is that I was in the center of the middle floor of an open library, meaning the most possible people heard it too, so I tried apologizing to as many people I knew were in earshot. It was the first time I unintentionally annoyed so many people at once, and I was completely at fault. I can't watch that episode again without getting flashbacks.
TL;DR: | Accidentally watched a Jontron at full volume through my headphones *and* my speakers in a library, annoying dozens, and prompting a guy to get mad and curse me out about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (24f) can't be positive about the future and I can't let go of the past
POST: I think I've finally just given up. Maybe there's still a small part of me that hopes I'm wrong but either way I think I have finally realised, love just doesn't exist. At least not for me anyway. I don't think I'll ever find that kind of happiness from a boy again. I guess my only regret is I didn't salvage every moment when I did have it. But its hard, because thats done now. And no matter how hard I tell myself to be happy it at least happened, it means nothing. Because I can remember the memories, but I can never relive them. I can't live in the past as much as I wish I could. I can't hope for the future because I know whats to come.
I guess I'm just one of those unlucky ones that gets continuously fucked over by boys and then loses all hope in them. I know its probably all based on luck and the majority of girls get good experiences. They don't get their hearts broken over and over again. And they don't get treated like shit. Maybe those are the good looking girls or maybe those are just the lucky ones. Or maybe even those are the ones that just don't overthink as much as me.
I can't be positive about the future and I can't let go of the past. A part of me wishes the past never happened because as good as it was, I honestly think it destroyed me. I feel broken and nobody can fix it.
I find myself obsessing over looks. Hoping that to somebody somewhere I am beautiful. Even to be thought that way by a few seems like it would feel amazing. I wander if I am. Because I've never explicitly been told I'm not, but then I've never been told I am. I feel like I've only just discovered how difficult it is to be a female. Its almost though the only way to be okay in this life as a girl is to be beautiful. Otherwise you just have to be strong enough and not care at all about the opinions of others. Life would be so happy if all I was was a beautiful little fool
TL;DR: | I don't really know what advice I'm looking for. Maybe just a discussion with people who feel the same or have ever felt the same. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I am currently talking to a girl, but I live in a different city from her. What's a good way to ask her to be my Valentine?
POST: So there is this girl who I have been talking to for some time now. She is a pretty close friend of mine. She is 22, and I am M 24. I am attracted to her, and she is attracted to me. I'm not sure whether we are interested in a serious, committed relationship yet, but we are definitely interested in spending time together, doing intimate stuff, etc. The problem is, she lives in my hometown, and I am going to college in a different city (not that far, maybe 2 hours away). I won't be able to wish her in person for V-Day until the weekend.
1. What is a sweet, good way to ask her to be my Valentine on Thursday itself, even though I won't be able to do it in person?
2. If its not okay to do it on Thursday, any ideas for how I can ask her in person?
TL;DR: | My friend and I are attracted to each other. We live 2 hours away from each other, and I can't go to her until the weekend. What is a good way to ask her to be my Valentine on Thursday itself? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Wondering if I [25 M] can text her [20ish F] yet, or if it's too soon.
POST: Recently moved to a new town and started working at a new corporation, I've been sort of checking out this really pretty woman a few times during my lunch break (caught her checking me out once, too) and today I saw her sitting alone so I went over and introduced myself. I asked if I could sit with her she said yes, and somehow we had a great conversation for the entirety of lunch. I was asking questions about her (found out she just moved her too), she was asking questions about me, I don't know we just really hit it off and things felt natural and so I got her number. She asked me if I text a lot and I said "Meh, depends".
I stopped subbing to /r/seduction a long time ago after I realized I was becoming... "different" than I normally am, and not in a good way, so I'm just unsure where I can ask for relationship advice. My question is, is it okay to text her now that I'm off of work, or should I wait a few days and ask her out later? I know she probably doesn't have plans for the fourth of July, so I don't know. I feel like I'm over-thinking this and think it would be fine to just text her, since everything went so smooth today, but after reading [this] I am second guessing myself. I was going to text something really cheesy, so at least I'm not going to do that, but now I don't know if I should wait and just say hi to her tomorrow or to text her. Oh, she also said she doesn't know anybody in this new town either.
TL;DR: | Stopped subbing to /r/seduction, so not sure where to ask this kind of stuff. Hit it off with a really pretty chick today, got her number, wanting to text her already. Should I wait? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: I really need help
POST: Today, I realized something big about myself. I think I am afraid to lose weight.
My whole life I have been emotionally abused and neglected by my family, specifically my father. I have a lot of emotional, internal scars from this. I have a very harsh exterior because of this. And when I get attacked, I often talk down my physical appearance, saying it's the reason for my depression, anxieties, unsureness, insecurities, or failures. It's an easy excuse.
I think that, I may fear that when I lose the weight, I won't have a back up system and people may see these things about me. Maybe that is why, whenever I start seeing progress, I eat and eat and eat. I see a soft spot in my walls. I see an unprotected layer. People may see something about me that I have worked so hard to hide.
Have you realized something like this about yourself? How did you get over it?
TL;DR: | I realized I may be using my weight as a shield to protect inner securities that I am afraid to get rid of, suggestions? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [18M] trying to help my girlfriend [18F], alcoholic mother[48F]. Kinda don't know what to do after tonight.
POST: So I've been going out with my girlfriend for around 3 months now. I've been staying over at my girlfriends most weekends since we've been together, and every time I'm there either a Saturday or a Friday night, her mother always drinks, even on the few week day after noons I've dropped my girlfriend off and gone in and her mother is drinking.
It didn't really appear to bother my girlfriend up until recently. A few hours ago I was over at hers for a while watching movies. We decided we were gonna go for a quick smoke, my girlfriend goes to grab her cigarettes and I followed her.
We in the smoking room with her mother and one of her mothers friends. Her mum started an argument with my girlfriend that the pack she bought belonged to her. She eventually admited it didn't when she was proven wrong. My girlfriend was visibly upset. So she decided she was gonna take the pack and put it in her bag and we were gonna go smoke down the street. As my girlfriend leans over to pick up the pack her mum, gives her a soft spank on her butt and starts playing with it. My gf then proceeds to ask her to stop as it's quite embarasing. At this stage I was fumming, I was so close to punching her mother, so I removed myself from the situation. As I'm down the street her mum came yelling at me cause apparently I didn't greet her. My girlfriend is trying to stop her. I decided I was just gonna humour her mother and great her like she asked.
We eventually went back to watching movies after talking about what happend and how she doesn't want to be like her mother.
I honestly have no idea how to help her and if there is anything I should be doing.
TL;DR: | staying with my gf, her mum drunkinly starts embarasing her, and I dunno how to help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [30M] angry with my girlfriend [31F] for not disclosing her past and then lying about it three times.
POST: My girlfriend recently moved in with two male friends of hers. I didn't know them so I went to meet them. One of them gave me very odd vibes. I asked her if there was anything between them. She said no and that she didn't see him that way. I still couldn't shake the vibes so I let it go. I asked her again, she told me they had hooked up 12 years ago. I thanked her for telling me and told her that her past was the past. She replied that she doesn't seem him that way. Later on, I found out that she had sent him nude pictures only 4 or 5 months prior, yet she claims she has no interest in him. I struggled with this, mostly because of the constant lying. People's past are their past, they do stupid things sometimes, but I find it very hard to trust her now that her feelings are not there for him considering they have hooked up in the past.
She then offered to move to another friends house. She had sent nudes to him as well... but back in April of this year, a week before her and I met. She did not disclose this and I just found out.
I think a breakup is imminent.
TL;DR: | I don't care about a persons past, unless it puts them or I in an awkward position. It gets worse when they lie about it multiple times. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [F20] having issues with friend [M21] and new guy [M23]
POST: So I've been friends with [M21] for three years and I very recently started seeing his friend, [M23]. So [M21] doesn't like someone that I hangout with so he doesn't invite me to parties at his apartment. Last night [M23] came over and I realized that either he goes to the parties there without me or he doesn't go at all.
I feel bad because I don't want him to not me able to see his friend, but I want to hangout with him to. I've only been talking to [M23] for about a month but he doesn't know about the situation. I am just asking to see if I should tell [M23] about the situation.
TL;DR: | I'm talking to a friend of a friend. I am not invited to my friends parties but the guy I like is. The guy I like doesn't know about the situation. Should I tell him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: My name is on recently deceased grandparent bank accounts, my parent seems to want to remove any chance of my inheritance
POST: Throw away account. Several months ago my grandparent passed away. I was extremely close to her. I called her everyday just to chat about anything and everything. Over the past several years, she came to the realization that her daughter(my mom) was pretty much putting up with her just for her money. There had been several times where my grandmother mentioned the idea of removing my mother from her will altogether. She also put me on her checking/savings account that has a decent chunk of money in it. After my grandmother passed away, my mom seemed to basically ransack her house looking for the will. There was a lock box that she found and supposedly there wasn't any money, a will that was dated 25 years ago, and funny enough user manuals for some of her appliances. Now I know my mom is a habitual liar. I've come to accept this after catching her and calling her out on countless things. My grandmother used to ALWAYS keep a few thousand $$ in her house. Just something that the older generation seems to do. So lie #1. But I have this gut feeling that there was a different version of the will in that lock box, but it may have conveniently disappeared. But who knows for sure. But ultimately my question is with my name on the bank accounts, but my mom's name being on the will stating that she gets everything, does she actually have any right to that money in the accounts that my name is on? I live in Missouri U.S. I'm wanting to split it with my brother and give my mom a smaller percentage of it as she is getting the houses and several different investment accounts that add up to more than what I figured would be a fair inheritance for my brother or me...with my mom basically getting ~50% of the overall value of the estate and my brother and I getting ~25%. More than likely going to lawyer up, as they say, but wanted to get a better idea
TL;DR: | My name is on deceased grandmother's accounts, I'm afraid my mother is going to attempt to include them in probate and basically go against the spoken wishes of my grandmother. Anyone think she can pull it off? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Any insight into if my relationship is on the right track?
POST: I want to keep this as short as possible. I've been in a relationship for 2 years now and live with him. Some months things are so great and I'm extremely happy with where I'm at in life. I think marriage could be on the table somewhere down the road. Then I go through periods where I think things could never possibly work out with us in the long run. I'm not sure if this is a sudden moment of clarity and I need to just be single for a bit longer or if it's me going temporarily insane.
Has anyone else ever been through this? Is what I'm feeling some sort of hint to move it along/go with my gut kind of deal or just typical relationship stuff?
TL;DR: | Me 26F him 25M parts of our relationship are perfect and sometimes I feel that we could never be. Is this normal? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My boyfriend is dropping out of school, I don't feel the same about him anymore
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together for 2.5 years, and have been doing long distance for most of it (separate universities: 5 hours away). He took his first year off to work to fund his university career, and I went straight to university (So he is a year behind me: 2nd and 3rd year).
About a month ago he told me he dropped out of university, because he doesn't like his program anymore and there's too much pressure.
The thing is, I'm the type of person who has a 5 year plan, looking for graduate schools, volunteering, doing internships, working and being a full time 3rd year double major student. He's been doing absolutely nothing but gaming and watching TV this whole month, and it's really hurting our relationship.
I'm starting to resent him for being so lazy. I've tried to look for other programs he might enjoy, as well as jobs in the town he lives in, but he just blows them off. I can barely talk to him without getting livid. I don't know if I can be with him anymore if he is going to be like this, but I don't want to lose what we used to have, or the guy he used to be.
It would be better if he showed any motivation in any other area than being lazy. If he started working out, or working or anything but sitting in his apartment all day.
I don't know what to do: give him an ultimatum, break it off, or hope he gets his act together. I don't want to lose him, but I can't be with the person he has become.
I really need help Reddit!
TL;DR: | My boyfriend of 2.5 years just dropped out of university, and I'm starting to hate the lazy and unproductive person he's become. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: I'm tired of Machu Picchu
POST: This amazing and historical side is being absolutely destroyed by tourism. I went to Cusco, specifically to climb MP, and when I got there, I simply didn't. There's an entire industry around the train station, the hostels in Aguas Calientes, and a race every morning to get there first before the influx of tourists. There's too many people, and I knew if I went, the experience would be completely spoiled.
I was told of hiking the Inca Trail, you pay locals to literally run up before you and set up your camping spot for you. If you decide to simply do the day trip, the reason you have to wake up so early is not to catch the sunrise, but to beat the other tourists.
TL;DR: | I was there and didn't go. The whole experience is ruined and spoiled, and we're destroying the site. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] 1.5 years, am I overreacting?
POST: So my girlfriend of 1.5 years went to a comic convention this weekend (I couldnt go because I couldnt get the days off work) and has sent me a few pictures of what's going on there. She sent me a photo of a shirtless guy picking her up and I feel like that was disrespectful towards me.
I understand that at events with cosplay, people take photos. I have no problem with that, but I think it was unnecessary for him to be holding her up like that. Seems like it would've been a bit nicer if they just took a normal picture together.
TL;DR: | GF took a cosplay photo with a shirtless guy holding her up off the ground, am I wrong for being upset about it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Just found out that my [F/27] father [M/56] is in jail. This is hopefully his 'rock bottom', how can I help him?
POST: Back story: My dad has had a really rough life, he watched his father kill himself when he was a teen, and he never really recovered. He has always had a substance abuse problem and has been in and out of rehab several times. Most recently, his wife (my step mom) of 20 years left him for another man, but started seeing my dad on the side again, and then died suddenly about a year ago from a stroke. Her family completely cut us out of everything-a last chance to visit her braindead body, funeral, obituary, any information. ..and it has been hard for on him. He lost his job, started drinking more, and is barely clinging to the house. His mother is dead and his brother is a jerk who is too busy being a "devout Christian" to answer my dad's phone calls. I am his only family, and have been trying to get him to move to my state so I can take care of him, as I am his only family, however he is having a hard time acquiring a Texas death certificate for my step mom, as the house was in both of their names.
Yesterday, his friend called me to let me know he has been in jail since 2/19 on DUI charge. In his mug shot his face is bloodied and puffy and I know he was probably belligerent at the time of his arrest. He a very funny and sweet guy most of the time, and very frail from a year of drinking, not eating much, and being very sedentary. I am very worried about his mental health now, as well as if/when he is released after his court date in mid-march. I want to help break this cycle, and get my dad back. The jail said I could send postcards, but is there something else that I can do to make his time in jail easier? How do I get him help when he is released? Are there resources in Florida I may not know about?
I know this is a vague plea for help, but I am looking for any advice from someone who has been in a similar situation.
TL;DR: | Dad is sad, now in jail. I am the only person he has left, and I am 3000 miles away and have very limited resources. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20 M] have been with my gf [18 F] for 6 months, but I'm worried about her lack of female friends. Is this a problem?
POST: So I've been dating this girl for a while, and I really like her. She's smart, fun to be around, and gets along great with my friends, problem is, she seems to have no friends of her own... She goes to school out of state, and says she has a lot of female friends in her home state but at least at university, she only had one female friend and she has transferred out now.
This is concerning for me because it's summer now, but when we get back, she'll have no female friends, and probably want to hang with my friends. Which is ok, but I'd prefer for her to have her own friends, so that I can have a bit more space. Is this wrong? Should I be concerned? Or is this a non-issue?
TL;DR: | my gf has no friends that are girls and I'm worried that will lead to her depending on me and my friends for all companionship. That worries me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22 M] live with my older brother and his girlfriend and I've just started seeing her best friend [26 F] - what's the etiquette here?
POST: Alright so a few weeks ago I tagged along with my sister in law [25 F] (yes I know she isn't technically my sister in law yet) to go to a dinner party and met one of her best friends. Nothing happened that night but we talked a lot and exchanged details.
For the past couple of weeks I've been overseas so nothing physical could actually happen. Of course this doesn't mean I couldn't message her and this contact remained constant.
On Saturday night, she came over for a few drinks before my sister in law and her were due to go get some dinner together, but in the end we all ended up drinking and having some dinner at home. Drinks started flowing and it didn't take long for us to all be tipsy.
I guess you can probably see where this is going, eventually the night wound down and she decided to crash at our house and just head home in the morning. Once my brother and his girlfriend went to bed, she snuck into my room and.. It happened.
Afterwards we kissed, agreed to silence for now and she snuck back into her own room. She left in the morning before I was up, and last night we all went around to her place for a barbecue. We kind of looked at each other like naughty teenagers, which is weird but given the circumstances was understandable. The dilemma now though, is that it appears a second date or few may be on the cards, and I'm unsure as to how to best approach this with my sister in law in particular.
* Should I tell them about Saturday night?
* If not now and it goes further, when should I tell them?
* There's nothing wrong with this, right?
* Is it okay if I keep seeing her in the mean time before anything is formally announced?
If anyone could weigh in on this it'd be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | Live with sister in law and recently banged her best friend, now potentially going further and unsure how/when to tell sister in law. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [22F] boyfriend [21M] of 2 yrs is doing some drugs while he's out, and I didn't realize how much it would upset me
POST: My boyfriend and I were suppose to go out today, but then he goes and tells me that one of his friends gave him some drugs and that he was going to take it. (Just so you guys know it isn't weed. I'm fine with small amount of drugs the one he took was not one of them)
I'll be honest, it did ruin my day a lot. The last couple days weren't all that great and I just wanted to have a good time together, but I wasn't going to be around him if he did that, and I told him that if he did it I don't want any part of it and that I will stay home. So I was upset that, even though he wanted and insisted I come because he wanted to spend time with me, when I told him "No, that isn't even a possibility." he still goes out. leaves me at home, and does it.
I'm fine with people doing what they want, but I'm not fine when stuff like that happens around me, and he told me beforehand that it last for 8-12 hours. I don't want anything to do with him within that time frame. I never would have thought that this would be a problem, but I really don't like it. And now that's he's been gone for a few hour now, I'm still extremely upset to the point that if tries to come home and talk to me, I will leave and find a hotel to stay in for the next few days.
I know I'm being way too irrational about this and I didn't think this would bother me so much, but I just can't get over it. It's actually making me realize how much of a deal breaker this is, and we already almost broke up because of his behavior. This might have actually pushed me over the edge because I have very few things that can ruin a relationship for me and I'm realizing this might me one.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend did drugs today and I didn't stop him because I didn't want to ruin his day, but it got me upset |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[25F] maintain an iffy relationship with [29M] out of a mutual fear of being alone, what to do?
POST: I've (25F) been in a relationship with my SO (29M) for about 2 years now. I can feel that I've grown apart from him physically, but not emotionally. I don't hide my feelings from him at all, and he knows that I am very unsure about our relationship's future. He is too. We question it a lot but we still keep trying to breathe life into it and make it work.
Normally I would think, surely this just isn't working. But I am scared to be alone and so is he. It feels like a relationship of convenience. We are both at points in our lives where it is immensely cathartic to be able to come home and have someone there to spend time with and depend on for anything. I know on my part I really do have an immense fear of being alone, for reasons relating to my family (or lack thereof).
It feels like we will not work in the very long term (think marriage and etc). It feels like our life goals are different and we have different approaches and vastly different levels of motivation in our careers. Heck, even our personalities are very different. But we just plain enjoy each others' company a lot and care about each other a lot. We have problems when we tend to butt heads about partner-type choices (the kinds of choices that I never make with a best friend, regular friend, or acquaintance), which does happen often enough to be of concern.
This just isn't the "horrible, save yourself" obvious relationship you need to escape from. This choice is hard and I keep having hope for things because there isn't any "relationship measuring stick" anywhere to tell us what's good, what's just short of good, and whatnot...
Has anyone else experienced anything similar before? What did you do? How did it turn out for you?
TL;DR: | With SO for 2 years, both afraid of being alone, like having a stable relationship. Have diverging goals, decision making, and personalities. Really care about each other a lot and enjoy each others' company. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Husband(m/32) and I(f/32) are disagreeing with a new friendship.
POST: Hi everyone. Will try to make this as short as possible. My husband and I are having a disagreement and I would like outside prospective. My husband frequents a bar beside our home almost daily. it's his "wind down" time and although I'm frustrated with the amount of time (and money) he spends there, that isn't my issue.There is a girl in her twenties who works there and my husband always chats with her. I have gone to the bar a few times myself and I actually really like the girl, she's very sweet. I don't feel jealously towards her at all.
The problem is that my husband wants to develop a friendship with this girl and has gotten her phone number and in my opinion, that's super innappropriate. I've seen their texts (through snopping, don't judge). In one message he says "We should hang out more outside the bar, I bet if we did, we'd find we have more in common". She immediately shot it down saying she didn't think I would like that. He then said, "Yeah, I just meant as friends".
Is it just me or is that a suggestive text followed by damage control after getting shot down? I confronted him and he is adamant that he just wants to be friends with her, but even that seems inappropriate to me. He has a wife at home. Making friends with 20-something females doesn't seem good, does it?
What are your opinions?
TL;DR: | Husband got phone number of waitress and say he just wants to be "friends". I call nay nay. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Redditors with distant, foreign cousins you've never met: Is it weird or cool when they want to meet you when traveling in your country?
POST: My entire family is of Italian descent, but we've been in the USA for a few generations now. I will be going to Italy on business later this summer and I'm planning on taking a week to be a tourist afterwards. My parents have told me they met a couple distant cousins while traveling there a couple decades ago, so I thought it might be cool to try to meet them while I'm there. I'm just a little bit worried about how awkward it will be, though.
I don't speak Italian, and I have little reason to expect my cousins would speak English. We're separated by at least three generations, too, so it's not like our families keep in touch anymore. If you were in their situation and I came to visit, how would you feel about it? I'm seriously worried it'll end up an awkward and quiet five minute meeting before parting ways in disappointment and frustration.
The reason I was thinking about meeting my cousins, though, is because I'm told there are two brothers a few years younger than me named Mario and Luigi, and, well, do I need to say more?
TL;DR: | How do you feel about very distant cousins (from very distant countries) coming to your country to meet you? What if they don't speak your language? Is it cool or awkward as hell? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [18m] girlfriend [17f] has banned me from smoking
POST: (8 month relationship)
My girlfriend is perfect in nearly every way, she's nearly always nice to me and is pretty trusting. We both go to the same school.
However, at the start of the relationship I was smoking weed and cigarettes, my grades weren't suffering and I did it in moderation, only once a week at most. After about 1 month she started to get annoyed when I smoked weed, even though it was away from her, just with friends and not completely 'stoned'. She told me it was my choice to stop but essentially I had to stop because she said she would just get annoyed every time. Recently, she decided she didn't want me smoking cigarettes either, I don't smoke cigarettes regularly, only at parties.
Whenever I try and bring it up with her that I enjoy smoking weed and explain to her that I'm not doing anything wrong because my life doesn't revolve around it and I'm not giving up anything for it she gets angry. I want to start smoking again but I'm scared to bring it up with her because she gets annoyed every time I bring it up. I asked her for her reasoning and she has no other reasoning other than it's illegal, and then she decided to tell me to stop smoking cigarettes too, which are perfectly legal for me to smoke.
TL;DR: | girlfriend decides after 1 month in our relationship that she doesn't like me smoking and demands i stop, whenever i try and defend myself she gets angry and now i'm scared to bring it up |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU: Made a fool of myself in lit class.
POST: So today we were looking at this "chick lit" novel, and I'll say this now because it'll be relevant for later - I'm one of two guys in my tutorial, and I'm not gay.
Tutor (who's female) asks us guys if we felt 'excluded' by the novel, because well you know, we're not girls.
First guy responds (makes some good points in mentioning his two sisters), and then it's my turn. I must note that I hardly talk in class, and now that I'm being asked to speak, I really want to make a good impression. Unlike this other guy, I don't have any siblings. I have a mother, but do I dare mention her? At the time, I didn't think so.
So, when I finally start talking, I say that I didn't feel excluded by the text. Instead, I say that I related to the main character (which is A GIRL). At this point some girl on my right does that 'light laugh' (you know, the one where you just blow air through your nose). I'm thinking 'fuck fuck' 'cause I can't justify my point, and so I put my hands on my face and go "what's that word ...", stumbling to try and think of something to say.
This awkward silence comes upon the room for about 4-5 seconds before the tutor shifts the conversation and asks a question to the rest of the class, and things return to normal. I don't sigh in relief - I sit there looking glum for the rest of the tutorial. At the time, I kept hating myself (and I still do), thinking that everyone thinks that I'm stupid, but then I get the idea that if I was seen to be 'gay', people could think that I was accidentally 'coming out' through a suggestive comment.
TL;DR: | Tried to relate to a girl character in a chick lit novel. Failed miserably. I'm thinking that everyone else thinks I'm either gay or stupid. I hope they think I'm gay. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [26/M] My girlfriend [24/F] of 6 years, Help!
POST: Been with my SO for 6 years now. We both are in college, living together, and out of state. I'll try to keep it short.
- Last summer back in hometown, snooped through her phone, and found a text saying she was thinking of breaking up with me. Told one of her best guy friends.
- Came back to college place, and decided to work things out.
- Thought everything was going ok, and went back to hometown for X-Mas.
- Came back, snooped through her phone again, and found another text about wanting to break up, this time with a person I rather not her talk to.
- Tried to talk it out and work on things again... still don't know if I am willing to continue this relationship.
- She doesn't like to talk about it, but she tells her friends (about our relationship) and the person I her rather not talk to (just that one time).
- Seems like she feels that way every time we go back to our hometown.
- We still do things together and have sex once or twice a week.
- FWIW, all her close friends are single.
- I know I shouldn't have snooped, but I went in knowing I would find something, since she doesn't really express herself to me.
- Still live in the same house, but I can stay in the other room.
TL;DR: | found things in SO phone, agreed to work it out, found it again, trying to work it out now, what do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I have a "regular" Canadian accent, but I've been speaking to my parents in their native accent for several years. How do I get out of this?
POST: Context:
My parents and I moved to Canada about five years ago, in time for grade 10. Being younger, I picked up the Canadian accent much faster than they did.
However, since my parents are somewhat traditional, I thought they would be uncomfortable if I spoke Canadian English at home, so I always pretended to speak in their native accent at home or on the phone with them.
Fast forward to the present: I'm home for the summer from my third year of college, and I'm still doing the same thing. But it's starting to become a barrier in communication, and I want to start speaking regularly at home.
Any tips on how I can do this would be appreciated!
TL;DR: | Pretended to speak in parents' native accent for about four years, getting tired of it. Where to go from here? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Needing advice on how to handle the situation I (20) find my self in with my now ex-gf (20)
POST: My ex and I recently broke up after a 1 and 2/3 year relationship we live together with one roommate.
She broke up with me giving reasons of feeling like she dosnt want to put in effort anymore because now that i am she dosnt when in the beggining it was flipped. She never gave any real indication of this but slowly started drifting away from me when her close friend finally got over her ex.
I have very strong feelings for her but she seems to want nothing to do with me even though a few months ago she was very close and affectionate with me even when i had to travel for work (3 days out of the week) the sudden change caught me off gaurd. When she broke it off with me she said she was moving out but not with her friend because "why move with her if its to fool around with random guys since im done with them" but that very night someone i trust told me she had slept with a very close friend of mine 2 days before breaking it off and i began to hear she would move in with him and my current roommate.
Fast forward to yesterday i was told by the ex that she has decided to stay living with me, i can only assume that she couldnt find a place, and she offered to have me join her on a walk to catch pokemon. I agreed as i am still head over heels for her but on the walk she dosnt take the game out and says she didnt even want to go on the walk only offrrrd so our roommate wouldnt deal with ww3 she cut the walk short and left for the night thus crushing the foolish hope i had and now i am at a lose my heart wants nothing but to have her back to me romanticly but my gut is telling me im being used and it kills me inside to not know whats going on
TL;DR: | ex broke up with me after close to 2 years being together said she was moving out decided she will stay living with me. I still have feelings for her but the seem unrequited. Advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21M] really want to send this email to my ex [21F]
POST: > Hi Julia, I know I shouldn't be contacting you, but this is for my own sake. Read back all those notes I wrote you long ago, those feelings I had for you were not fake. I know I said I'm moving on but it's so hard when I've lost the most precious thing in my life. I wish I was more attentive to your emotions and your needs when we were in our relationship. I was stupid for not seeing them more clearly. I never meant to hurt you when I talked about your anxiety, in fact it was my own stress speaking. That last time we talked outside of Eickhoff there was something I didn't mention to you going on in my life but I'm not making excuses anymore. I was not in touch with my emotions or yours and didn't know how to handle criticism. I love you beyond words and this feels like a huge mistake. I would do anything for another chance to prove to you I'm not the same guy that I was.
I feel like I'm taking all the blame here though and I know it wasn't all my fault that she never communicated her problems to me but I can't help but want her back so much. We really did have an awesome relationship for a year and a half. We broke it off mutually in the end. I tried getting her back twice however. She said no the first time and the second time she said she wanted to see me change before she decided whether I could take her on a date. I was so hurt by her hesitation and reluctance to even give me a chance, even though I took all the blame of the relationship ending. I was also hurt that she started talking to another guy (her housemate) a few weeks after our breakup that I basically told her I was moving on but a part of me really regrets it.
TL;DR: | I want to reconcile and get back with my ex, but I don't know what to say or even if I should say anything. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Just looking for some verification that I'm setting things up correctly on my new credit card
POST: I have a poor credit score and I'm trying to rebuild my credit after cancelling all of my cards a few years ago and not having a credit card at all for the last 3 years (now I know I shouldn't have done that).
I'm starting off with one card, and it has an annual fee which is billed on the card right now.
Here's what I set up:
The due date is the 23rd of every month.
The credit limit is $300, and I have set up my gym membership, netflix, and spotify payments on this card totaling $68.
I set up an automatic payment from my credit union to send a payment of $68 by the 15th of every month to be received by the 19th of every month.
TL;DR: | I'm at a 23% utilization rate, and I'll be paying off the full balance 4 days before the due date, is this correct? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22F] hacked into boyfriend of 4 year's facebook [35M] because he wouldn't stop talking to his exlover. He found out and now I ruined everything.
POST: I messed up. I know I did.
After coming home from abroad I had gotten distant from him and asked for a break. He agreed. A little after a month I asked if we could get back together. I came back from another trip and asked him what the thought about us and he said that he would happily get back together but told me that he had sex with someone when I was away. I was super sad but figured I could get past it.
A couple weeks past and I did, I managed to forgive him. Everything was good and swell until I found out they were still talking. This ruined me. I asked him if he could please stop and tell her, "hey thanks for the interest but I'm in a relationship." I waited a week. He said he would do it but he didn't. I was so angry and I couldn't. It has been more difficult for me to trust him and I just wanted him to delete her off facebook. I did it without thinking of the consequences and figured no one would notice.
He noticed. He's a smart man and I should have known. It ruined him. He has been living in my apartment for a couple days and he was super sad about it. He feel betrayed and lied to. I understand I messed up.
We haven't spoken since yesterday but I really want to help things out. I don't know if I can. I at least want to be just friends. He has been my best friend for the past 4 years.
I hate myself for doing this and I need help figuring out how to get out of this heartbreak. I know I caused this and I need help about moving on. This is my first relationship and I'm totally new to all of this.
TL;DR: | Hacked into boyfriend's facebook to delete his ex-lover. Now he won't talk to me and I probably ruined any chances together. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: I am 22 and have a few years left of school. What are my best options for investing right now?
POST: I want to first start off by saying that I do not have a lot of knowledge with investments and the terminology that goes along with it.
I currently have about 3.5 years left of school. I will most likely be around 150k in debut after I am done with school. I know that I will be fine once I get out of school to be able to pay off my debts, but my question is what should I be doing right now so that I can have a nice sum of money to have when I am older?
Currently I have been investing in stocks, just day trading with a few companies like Google and Apple. I know this is a high risk investment, which is why I came here to learn about other options. I do not plan on taking money out of the stocks since I am young and do not have to worry about losing it all right now. The thing is I just want to be able to set some money aside that accumulates interest where I can keep adding in money at anytime. It doesn't have to be very fluid like stocks, so if it has to sit for 10 years or more that is fine with me.
So I am asking you guys, PF, what options should I be taking advantage of right now?
TL;DR: | I am looking for an investment where I can just keep throwing in money that has a nice interest rate, excluding Bank Account Interest... |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My wife [25/F] seems to hide details of her messages from me [28/M]
POST: We know each other for almost 7 years now (2 married) and my wife always had problems making proper friends. For 3 months now she has a male friend whom she is texting a lot with. Because of her lack of friends I'm actually quite happy for her that she had someone else to talk to. Though yesterday she said that her friend didn't feel well and that he isn't responding to her messages. Later she went a bit earlier to bed. So when I came to our bed in the night I could see her phone blinking and I just looked if it was a message from her friend so that I could wake her up to tell if he was Ok or not.
But looking at their conversation made me quickly realize that he has strong feelings for my wife. I didn't see any advances of my wife into his direction but before she left for bed she asked if she could meet up with him tomorrow and I said yes of course, if you think that he needs a friend right now... But we had plans for tomorrow and when I reminded her of them she quickly changed her mind and decided to stay.
I don't know what to think. I also can't go too much into details... reddit being public and so on :/
Should I confront her regarding his messages? Or should I just continue trusting her and hope for the best?
TL;DR: | a male friend of hers seems to be secretly in love with her and she either doesn't understand or.. fully understands and doesn't tell me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My father [60/M] has severed ties with me [21/F] and I don't know how to feel or what to do
POST: My dad has been having affairs with other women for a good part of his marriage to my mom and I remember stumbling across evidence when I was around 10 or 11. I even found out that he had 2 sons and a daughter from two other women when I was in my later teens (1 older and 2 younger than I). I never told my mom about the younger siblings or the affairs I uncovered - I was scared. A year ago, my mom found out about the affairs and the children and divorced him without even mediating.
For a few months I was pushed in the middle of the divorce with my dad claiming that my mom had brainwashed me even though I told him I didn't like him for his lies and cheating. I felt torn but pledged loyalty to my mom because of how he has treated her.
My birthday was in January and my father sent me an Amazon voucher ($100) and a card in the post. He always used to call me on my birthday but this year he didn't. I tried to call him twice and he didn't pick up. So I texted him several times (maybe 10) before he replied to my texts and calls 5 days after my birthday. He sent me a cold message saying "Happy birthday." - thats it - something he never does. He is living with one of his affairs that produced children.
What do I do reddit? What is happening? Do I no longer have him as my father?
TL;DR: | My father [60/M] has severed ties with me [21/F] and I don't know how to feel or what to do |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How do you get it to finally get it through your thick skull that your relationship really sucks?
POST: Together 5 years, married 3. Both of us in our mid-30s. No kids involved. Obviously this is very one sided since I am writing it, but feel free to assume my husband would also have a thread about what a horrible beast I am.
I could go on for days with gory details, but the bottom line is this: I am not happy, I have not been happy for a while. When I say not happy, I actually mean heartbroken more days than not. He is not happy from what I can tell. I am optimistic and try to make it work and take a lot of shit from him for my efforts. I often wonder why he hasn't bailed yet.
My friends hate him. My family hates him. My friends basically staged an intervention. Two of them in the kindest way they could muster let me know that beyond the problems I have been vocal about, there is something they can't tolerate anymore. Apparently I have been allowing him to be pretty horrible to me in front of others on a regular basis. They gave me specific examples that I actually remember, but it just went totally over my head how awful it sounded to them. I am hurt and absolutely mortified. How did that happen to me? That was enough for me to finally be like we need "the break". Problem is, I still love him despite the fact that for every 1 reason I have to stay, I have 100 to leave. I have been crying for days because all I want is to have him back. this is so unbelievably stupid and I'm dying of embarrassment even writing this out.
TL;DR: | In a bad marriage. Am trying to leave because no one is happy but yet apparently I can't seem to let it go. WHY?? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20M] GF same age broke up after 2yrs, how to deal with these feels?
POST: Me and my girlfriend broke up after 2 years. She just basically left me. No sound explanation, stopped talking to me, and after semester was over never heard of her again. Her dad called me to threaten me because apparently I wasn't allowed to contact her. It's been a month now and I just don't know how to feel. I felt like the relationship was dying the last 2 months but didn't expect what happened. Today I saw her change her profile pic to her and some guy. Raged and sent her a mean message. How do I deal with moving on? It's so messed up because we basically lived together, slept together, had family gatherings together.....wtf happened? How can I believe in true love? I helped her so much and she is gone now, I damn near stood bedside with her at the hospital when she was severely ill multiple times... I have issues now trusting another person. She left and moved on after only one month. More details, just ask...
TL;DR: | GF left out of no where from a 2 year relationship and is now with someone else after one month. How to deal with this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (20F) with my boyfriend (19M), trying to normalize sex and deal with frustrations
POST: Things with my boyfriend are great.
We are compatible in every way and extremely attracted to each other. We have great sex and enjoy eachothers company outside of that as well and are great friends.
However, sex does not occur for us often due to distance.
I have been in a few not good relationships where I was pressured into doing things I didn't want to do, but felt I had to do them to keep the other happy and stay with me (first boyfriend was emotionally abusive and cheated on me, taunted me with the other girl).
I love sex and doing things for my boyfriend but sometimes I blur the lines between "It sucks I can't fuck you as often as I want" and "we aren't fucking right now and that's a problem you need to fix because there are other girls who can satisfy me".
I know that I'm wrong and he loves me, and that when we can we fuck like rabbits and he loves it, but that feeling persists and I'm not sure how to deal with it.
TL;DR: | past relationships messed up my idea of sex and despite loving it I can't help but feel that if I can't constantly keep my boyfriend sexually satisfied I'm useless |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My "father" has basically disowned me. Help? [25f]
POST: This is all a huge mess and very complicated so I will try my best to keep it simple. Basically I am an affair baby, but I didn't find out until a few months ago. I'm the youngest of 4 kids and I've always been really close with me "Dad". Mom died when I was 11 and I was never close with her before. "Dad" was everything to me growing up. My brothers are all way older than me and we were never too close. Something has always been off and I haven't looked like my brothers or dad much. Curiosity got the better of me and I brought it up to my father and he assured me I am his completely. We did get a DNA test none the less and lo and behold I'm not his. My mother did have affairs on him and was cheating when she passed so not totally unexpected I guess but it really did surprise him. He told me it would be fine but NOTHING has been the same since.
He doesn't call me anymore... it went from once a week to never unless I call him. He hasn't seen my daughter in 4 months and she misses him. I miss him so much. I'm just so profoundly sad. I feel alone in this world. I have no clue who my actual father is and there really isn't anyway to discover. I want to have what I had with my "Dad" before but I'm afraid its gone, forever. Is there anything I can do?
TL;DR: | Found out my "Dad" is not my Dad. He hasn't taken it well and has really dropped out of my life. I don't knwo what to do |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Fiance [27m] left me [25m] in search of way younger guys [18<]
POST: Little bit of backstory: I [25m] got a job in another state expecting fiance [27m] to move with me as he had just finished grad school. He did not want to, keeping options open so he could get hired sooner. Got offered a job in a different state entirely many miles away. Shortly thereafter, fiance is lonely and starts looking for friends, comes across young guy [<18], is instantly attracted ("THAT is what I've been looking for), and realizes he doesn't want to work on our relationship and cheats on me. He was uncommunicative for a long period and eventually told me everything a few weeks later. We still talk as friends, but no lovey stuff and he ignores any attempts.
The problem: I still love him and want to work it out. He wants to pursue young guys for various reasons. He says he's not interested in reviving our relationship at all atm but isn't opposed to the idea eventually. He says he still loves me but I didn't have "that thing" he was looking for intially but grew on him over time. I did not see many issues in our relationship just thought we could use some help communicating issues.
I am currently going to therapy for this but my question comes from this whole situation. Do I just keep being his friend and work on myself hoping he will find what he's looking for/comes back? Or do I look at the job opportunities in his area because a struggling LDR on top of breaking off a LTR just makes it that much harder to reconnect if not in person? He is very non emotional right now and needs time to process but I am struggling. I have talked about visiting him in a month or two which he is fine with as well.
This has begun to affect my work and health and I am not capable of moving on because I am very attached to this man. I'm not really interested in moving on to a new person, I'm more looking for suggestions on how to better myself and the best approach to this situation. Thanks.
Just to clarify his opinion hasn't really changed about me, just that I'm not the 100% ideal person he was looking for at the moment.
TL;DR: | Fiance [27m] cheated on me [25m], wants to pursue younger guys 3 states away. I want to work it out, he is not ready for that but not opposed eventually. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22 M] freaked out when telling my friend/coworker [21 F] about my feelings! What should I do?!
POST: So I finally got the courage to tell a friend/coworker of mine about my feelings for her the other day. We had just finished a meal at a late night diner with another friend and she was driving me back to my car. I've been crushing on her hard for several months now, so I decided that I would tell her right how I felt right there and then.
But as I began to speak to her in the car, I became really nervous, so instead of explaining things to her calmly, I kind of just ended up blurting out how I had liked her for a while and if she wanted, maybe we could go on a date. When she heard what I said, she was really surprised and her reply was a "oh!... maybe!"
At that point I had totally psyched myself out, and said "It's cool, don't worry about it!" and practically jumped out of her car, closed to the door.
Now I know I've probably fucked up big time (it was my first time asking anybody out in years) but I really like her not as a crush, but as a good friend as well. I'm really worried what I said will make things weird between us, so should I send a text before we both meet each other today at work? Basically, my text would say sorry about what happened, tell her that I had wanted to tell her about my feelings so that things didn't seem disingenuous in the future, and that I hoped we still remain close friends and things didn't become weird.
Normally, I'd do this in person, but we're really not supposed to talk about these things at my workplace, and I hope to resolve in a way where I can't psych myself out again.
Thanks for the help!
TL;DR: | Told my friend about feelings, stumbled over my words and freaked out before she could really reply. Should I send her a text so things don't get awkward? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girlfriend [22F] is moving away from me [24M]. Do I follow?
POST: Girlfriend and I met in college and have been together for two years. I graduated in May '12 and moved back home to Hawaii. She graduated in Dec '12 and moved to Hawaii in April '13. I work in finance and she works in hospitality.
Recently, her company offered her a great position on the east coast and we were very excited. She's leaving in February, but the question remains about what I will be doing. I've been working for my company, since I've graduated, for almost 1.5 years. They do have a corporate office in a nearby location to where she lives, but since I just recently got promoted myself I don't want to just up and leave my company and ask for a corporate promotion (especially if I want any recommendation).
I've been thinking about what to do with my career, including moving to Japan, Taiwan, and become an English teacher. There's just so many choices I can make. I even picked up a GMAT exam book and started studying to hopefully be able to get into a good MBA program, but I really have no idea where I'm at with my career and I don't know what to do. My company is also good to me, but doesn't pay well.
I need your help Reddit. I'm not sure which direction to go with in my life. Last time I thought of my goals in life I was laughed at, and it really discouraged me from wanting to pursue them. My girlfriend leaving to pursue her career goals inspired me and also added a new dilemma in our relationship.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend moving to east coast in February, need to decide very soon whether to go with her, stay here, move somewhere else, etc. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what would you do in my situation?
POST: So my girlfriend of about 6 months has been bugging me to buy an old sports car of mine and I keep telling her it is not a wise decision and that the car has problems. For months she keeps insisting and I keep telling her all the cons of owning a car like this. Finally she convinces me to at least let her take it to one of her friends who is lead mechanic at a dealership that sells these types of cars. He runs all the diagnostics and tells us exactly what is wrong with it and how much the repairs will cost. She keeps insisting on buying the car so I finally give in but tell her I don't want to hear any complaints about any of the problems because she knows everything and I've tried to convince her not to buy it. She says she won't complain and then proceeds to sell her car and buy mine. I had already agreed to sell it to her at a discount and then discounted more on top of that for the repairs. Now it's has been a couple of weeks and after driving it all over town she starts up a conversation last night which I immediately know is aimed at getting me to buy the car back from her for what she paid for it. This upsets me because not only did I give her a good deal, she knew 100% what exactly needed to be repaired and the exact amount it will cost to do the repairs. In addition, I've already transferred the title to her name and she has registered it so it is not just as simple as I give her the money back and she hands me the keys. I feel like I am being taken advantage of in this situation. I'm curious as to Reddit's opinion on what I should do at this point and if I have a legitimate right to be upset over this situation?
TL;DR: | I sold my GF a car two weeks ago and she knew exactly what needed to be repaired and the cost, now she wants me to buy it back. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20s] with my family member [60s] of 10 years, he is mascarading his dog around as a service animal.
POST: Throwaway because I'm not sure if they reddit.
I have a family member who does everything with their dog. They have always been this way. The dog is not particularly well behaved, but I wouldn't call him a bad dog. He has some very annoying habits that he was never trained out of, and that are often encouraged (getting on furniture, begging, etc). Of course when you mention this to them you get excuses, "oh the dog never does that at home."
For a few months this family member has been talking about how it would be very easy to bring the dog with them everywhere (something they already does to a point) by saying he's a service dog. Now instead of having to go to places with patios they could bring the dog inside and say he's a service dog. The establishments aren't allowed to ask to see verification that the dog is in fact a service dog so they thinks it's okay I guess?
Well after months of talking about it they got the dog a vest and have started bringing him places as a "service dog." I'm not worried about the dog harming anyone, but this feels so disrespectful towards people who actually need a service dog! The dog isn't trained to be of service to anyone, and is in fact an annoyance to most.
We've already decided that any time we see this family member and they would like to go out we'll refuse to go anywhere with the dog and give our reasoning. I don't think we could talk them out of doing this any other time, but is there anything else we could do? Is there anything else we should do? Should we just let sleeping dogs lie, so to speak?
TL;DR: | Family member is being an asshat by parading their non-service dog as a service dog. Leave it alone or let them know it's rude and disrespectful? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, my family and I need your help! Our neighbors are purposely trying to drive us out of our house and will probably even intimidate us in everyway they can. I need advice and what can I do?
POST: I'll try to keep this short since I don't have much time writing this, it might also be poorly misworded. Yesterday, my dad went to talk with our neighbors about parking their car out of the alleyway we shared because we are getting newly installed heaters, required by our landlord. Unfortunately, they didn't react like civil beings and instead started cussing us out, saying how we "feed" off the government. My dad is ill, my mom can't find a job, and my aunt is physically handicapped, my family pretty much has to depend on the goverment sadly. I would get a job, but my parents (being Asian) have me focused on getting my education. They called out my family on their lack of education and money. Me, being the 16-year old idiot I am, just don't know what to do. Just today, they called over their daughter and son-in-law (who's big) and violently knocked on our doors, calling my mom out just to intimidate her. In the past they've refused to settle other disputes calmly, even when we hoped to reconcile. They pretty much plan to drive us out of our house. We're a low-income family, and we cannot afford to move. Pretty much everyone in our neighborhood (just two families.... out of the three houses...) sees us as lowly filth. I'm afraid that they're trying to make us lose our home for by filing a pretty much BS complaint against us. And even if they aren't successful, they'll continue doing this shit to us knowing we won't be moving anytime soon.
TL;DR: | They refuse to settle out disputes calmly, even when we ask nicely. The try to shame us and put us in the wrong. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20f] am having issues with my mom [43] over my new relationship
POST: Background info: I am a 20f and moved home after a year across the country at school after being diagnosed with a chronic illness. For the most part, my parents let me do whatever because I am an adult and I was always a good kid. I am living with them for free. They are fairly conservative on everything, but not over the top.
I recently just started dating someone [m26] and I feel really positive about the future of our relationship. Friday night, I accidentally stayed at his place until 4:30 am. My parents had before said, stay out until whenever just give us a timeframe of when to expect you back. I had told them don't wait up, I will be really late and they agreed. My mom was furious with me and accused me of sleeping around with a bunch of guys. I don't date a lot. I was really offended. She included that she found out how old my boyfriend is and doesn't like it, even though she was 21 when she started dating my father who was 27.
Today, I found a "dating contract" on her bed addressed to me. Most of it I don't really think is an issue. My boyfriend is very respectful of me and wants the best for us. But she included that he should ask their permission to date me and that I can't spend time with him alone at his place. I feel like her property and really hurt that she doesn't trust my decisions even though I have a good track record.
TL;DR: | My mom wants me, an adult, to sign a restrictive dating contract because she doesn't approve of my new boyfriend. How would you politely say, sorry not signing that? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by making the cute barista guy think I hate Russians.
POST: So, this JUST happened.
There's this cute barista guy at my local coffee place. I don't usually go there because it's a little out of my way. But today I found myself passing by, and thinking of him, looked through the window. Seeing him through the window i thought "sure, I could eat" but of course takeout, not stay there to eat because clearly I can't have him see THAT. Oh and shit: I haven't brushed my hair and it's in a fucking ponytail. Not the cute kind.
Ok, so we've established I'm fucking neurotic. Anyway. I order something in an adorable jovial way and he looks slightly downcast when I say it's to go. Yay, right? Sure. Let's ride this high!
"Hey, I like your coat" says he. "Oh thanks! It's styled to look like a Russian army coat. My grandmother totally would have hated it because she was Hungarian."...... Silence. Awkward "uh, yeah, that totally... Hm" from him. His face went from: 'glad to see you again' to 'I'm going to avoid you now'.
I could have saved it. I could have said: "gee, crazy how our grandparents could be so bigoted and scarred from war, eh" but NO. Instead I stood there like an idiot, jaw agape not believing how so much stupid could have run out of my mouth.
Goddammit.
TL;DR: | Barista guy, if you're out there: I don't hate Russians or anyone else, I'm just an idiot who says stupid things around people she finds attractive. |