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zxm3ng

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/flatsheepherder6311 in r/amitheasshole** ---   [**AITA for saying I’ll not attend the family Christmas since I can’t afford it**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zo7kns/aita_for_saying_ill_not_attend_the_family/) - 17 December 2022 TA account My family has always spent the Christmas together at our parents. Last year was the first year we spent it at my brother (20s) and his wife (20s). Due to it being their first time, they were understandably very stressed and had troubles getting things together especially taking into account my dietary restrictions. Last year I (F20s) didn’t live in the same city as them so I couldn’t really help with the preparations but this year I do. Since I’m a student the money is tight but my brother and sil earn extremely well even compared to our parents. When we spent the Christmas at our parents we didn’t have to contribute financially towards the feast but this year the cost are shared by our parents and them. As I can’t afford it my compensation is the organization and cooking the feast as none of them enjoy such things. This is not a small task since I’ll have to start the preparations days before Christmas and do everything on my own. However, since I’m not the one paying for the meal I have shared my plans weeks ago with all of them and they have agreed on the menu. Couple days ago I sat down and calculated how much all of this would cost and sent the info to my family. This did not go down well with my brother. He is extremely frugal which is fine and all but the cost of the feast is the same as it has been every year. Mind you, it is nothing crazy honestly but costs more than a regular everyday meal. I said fine we can cut something back if he wants and asked what he wanted to give up. He chose the one thing I wanted to make for myself as a treat since almost everything else is something I can’t eat but the rest of them can eat all of it. I said okay anything else but he didn’t want to give up anything else. I asked him if he was serious that ”my dish” would be the only one we would get rid off and not one of their multiple sides. I don’t want to eat only potatoes and salad. His response was that it’s all so expensive and since it’s something that most of us wouldn’t eat it didn’t make sense to make it. My brother pulled the same move last year and my mother put her foot down and forced my brother to include me. Since then he has constantly told us ”how we are so emotional and stir up unnecessary drama” So to his opinion I said that it’s fine. I’ll just not attend and spent the Christmas by myself since I can’t afford to pay for the dish since I already provide my main My brother got mad and said that it’s not what he meant. I replied that this would be the most elegant solution to the problem since the feast would be cheaper and I wouldn’t have to work so hard for a meal I can’t eat. And this would have the added bonus of not causing too much drama since I’d do so voluntarily (I know I’m probably an ah just for this) He got super mad at me while my mother got mad at him and decided to spend the Christmas at my place. Now everyone is mad at everyone but honestly I’m mainly just sad and feel like I ruined everyone’s Christmas. AITA? Verdict: NTA //EDIT to add:// I have seen a lot of comments saying that they would like to help me to contribute financially towards the meal. While I find these offers extremely kind, I simply feel like this wouldn’t be appropriate since I will be fine regardless of the outcome of my Christmas. Instead I’d like ask you to consider donating (only if you truly can) e.g. to your local homeless shelters, food banks etc. so that those who have nothing or very little could have something for the holidays. Thanks you and happy holidays! :)   [**UPDATE: AITA for saying I’ll not attend the family Christmas since I can’t afford it**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zr12jx/update_aita_for_saying_ill_not_attend_the_family/) - 20 December 2022 First of all thank you for all the comments on my original post. Even for the ones which deemed me the ah. I tried to respond to all of them but after the 100th comment it became hard to keep up but I did read all of them :) For those who are interested I have something to update on my family Christmas and my brother. He called yesterday and wanted to come over to talk. When he got here he started by apologizing on his part of the argument admitting that he acted poorly. He told me he hadn’t really paid much attention on the menu since I was in charge of it. And thus when he suggested we cut out my side he didn’t realize I’d practically nothing else to eat and in the heat of the moment he couldn’t take that into account. He then went on to tell me something I didn’t quite expect him to since he isn’t one to really talk about these kinds of things. I won’t go into too much detail but when I was a baby and he was young our family went through some financial hardships. I’m too young to remember it but it left a mark on him. He said that this is what behind his reaction and he was sorry for letting his anxieties get a hold of him. He did reassure me that his intention wasn’t to exclude me. He offered to pay for my side and asked me if there is anything else I wanted to have but I told him I was fine with this side. As there was some concern regarding the division of labour and me paying for my own main when theirs was included in the family budget I did raise the issue and said I’d however appreciate if they pitched a bit more in the terms of labour. He agreed and said we really should include my main in the budget as well. So I told him I would send him recipes and instructions and would be available for advice if they needed it. I’m still doing most of the labour but I consider this fair and not aa a harship. They’ll do the dishes after though as I hate those I also asked what made him think about his actions and he told me it was really hard not to come to the realization that he acted poorly when everyone he cares about is mad at him - including his wife. And on top of that he didn’t feel good about the though of leaving things like that and of not having me over for Christmas. So yeah, I don’t think I cut him too much slack in the end even if some thought so. He can be a little misguided sometimes but he is not a bad person. It just sometimes takes a little bit of time for him to come around. There is definitely work to be done regarding him respecting other people’s opinions but I have hope for him still I did apologize for my actions too so don’t worry about that. I wasn’t completely blameless in how things progressed after all So I guess this means that we will have our family Christmas despite this hiccup. We might try to figure out a solution that’s fair for all for next Christmas. Be it a potluck or something else. Anyway I do hope that everyone has a wonderful holiday! And thank you again for all the comments! :)   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

AITA for saying I won’t attend the family Christmas since I can’t afford it?

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toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zxm3ng/aita_for_saying_i_wont_attend_the_family/

zxn969

*I am not the original poster, the original was posted by* *WeFuckBackHard* *on tifu.* *Because I want the thumbnail to the post to be the glorious picture from the CBAT parrot version,* [*I'll post the link to that here at the top!*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ko4wYMsVfu0) *Thank you,* [*u/Phanabani*](https://www.reddit.com/user/Phanabani/) *, for this amazing upgrade to the original!* *This post references the CBAT-story we all know from* [*this famous BoRU post*](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/x5opa1/tifu_my_20f_girlfriend_of_two_years_told_me_the/)*.* # [TIFU by accidentally teaching my roommate's parrot to sing CBAT. My roommate doesn't know yet.](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/xr9hey/tifu_by_accidentally_teaching_my_roommates_parrot/) (Sep. 29, 2022) **Bird audio hyperlinked at the very end** I am so dead. My roommate is out of town camping until the end of the weekend and he's going to kill me when he finds out. Ok, so we all know the story with [CBAT](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/x35iu6/tifu_my_20f_girlfriend_of_two_years_told_me_the/), no need to go into that. My roommate is out of town for a week, and I have the whole apartment to myself. Four days ago, I (29m) asked my gf (29f) if she would like to enjoy some delicious fun time while blasting CBAT. Her and I are both super weird, and are open to doing this kind of dumb stuff. To no surprise, she laughed and said yes. I just thought it would be funny to experience. To my surprise, it really wasn't as weird as I thought it would be. It might be that the love I have for her is so powerful, that it left only about 5% of my brain power focusing on the dolphin sounds in the background. The next day we decided to go at it again, only this time CBAT was a surprise for her. After a few minutes of kissing, I turned on the music and we both started laughing hysterically before getting it on. I even lasted longer than the day before, which I now regret. Here's the problem which I stupidly did not even take a second to consider. While my roommate is out of town, I'm taking care of his parrot who dwells in our living room, which shares a very thin door with my bedroom. This is no ordinary parrot. This is a chattering lory (same bird as that red one on youtube who goes "wuewuewue"). This bird does not shut up. He makes so much noise that I've naturally learned to ignore him after a year of living with it. Anyway, somehow it never even crossed my mind that these parrots learn words and sounds and mimic them surprisingly accurately. Before leaving for work yesterday morning, I made some coffee and sat down in the living room for a bit just relaxing and closing my eyes. All of a sudden, I hear the first few notes of CBAT in perfect pitch and rhythm. I opened my eyes and this little dude is staring me dead in the face. 5-10 seconds pass, and I hear it again. I just grabbed my things and left for work immediately. I had to escape, figuring I'd just find a way to fix this or explain this later. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that I'm just dead. My roommate isn't weird like me and he hates when I say silly things to the bird. When he comes back this weekend, I'm worried he's gonna give a notice and leave. Any advice on how to go about this would be greatly appreciated. I'm sweating as I'm writing this. And no, for privacy reasons, I will not be posting a video of the bird. TL;DR I tried intercourse with my gf twice while blasting CBAT just for the experience, and my roommate's parrot learned the song. My roommate doesn't know about this yet. EDIT: When I get back home from work today, I will sit by the bird and record audio. EDIT 2: Hyperlinked CBAT above for those who haven't read the story. EDIT 3: [Here’s the audio you skeptics](https://voca.ro/16NdnZIFs0d4). Enjoy CBIRD. God help me. ​ And [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/xr9hey/comment/iqg9pck/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) is the epic comment from Phanabani: **Phanabani: I remade Cbat using this parrot sample lmao -** [**https://youtu.be/ko4wYMsVfu0**](https://youtu.be/ko4wYMsVfu0) # [Update, posted on r/TylerLife](https://www.reddit.com/r/TylerLife/comments/xwwf8e/cbat_parrot_update_tifu_kept_deleting_my_update/) (Oct. 06, 2022) I screwed up again. So for those who don't know, [I accidentally taught my roommate's parrot to sing CBAT](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/xr9hey/tifu_by_accidentally_teaching_my_roommates_parrot/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) while trying to experience sex to the song while my roommate was out of town. Well my roommate got back into town on Sunday evening, and later that night I confessed my treason. I told him that I blasted [CBAT](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/x35iu6/tifu_my_20f_girlfriend_of_two_years_told_me_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) in bed twice and that his parrot learned the tune, and I told him how sorry I was and that it was completely unintentional. After all, it's his little birdy, I would never purposely try and corrupt it. His response: "What the hell is CBAT?" At this moment, I realized that had I only kept my mouth shut, I could have gotten away with it. To someone who doesn't know what CBAT is, that melody just sounds like a normal pattern of chirps that birds tend to pick up. But noooooo, I just had to ruin it. So now that I've opened pandora's box, I had to show him the CBAT story and play him the song. He thought it was the stupidest thing he's ever heard. Then we sat and waited till the bird sang it, and it did. I can confidently say that he was mildly annoyed that his bird is now more annoying than it was before. Now he is getting back at me by constantly teasing me around our friends for having had sex to CBAT. Twice. And they've started joining in. We were having a game night on Monday playing Among Us with some mutual friends, and he kept calling meetings just to say stuff like "Orange is an impostor! While the lights were off, I saw him f&$%ing to CBAT in elec!" Then some of our friends started doing similar shit. Weird So now a bunch of my friends know that I had sex to CBAT, which is pretty embarrassing honestly. But then again, at least it's a relief to know that he found some way to help even the score. Although a bird singing a sex song for a lifetime... I hope he doesn't tease me forever. Also, my roommate ever so graciously allowed me to record his reaction to all of this and post it here: [I am the audio reaction, click me!](https://voca.ro/19KNj9NbwSfS) TL;DR Told my roommate that I accidentally taught his parrot CBAT, only to learn he has never heard the song or story until I spoke of it. Now him and my friends are making fun of me for it, and I feel embarrassed as fuck around them now, and I deserve it all. *Note from OP: The audio reaction is really only worth listening to because the parrot CBATs in the background a couple of times towards the end. 😂😂 And at least this is a really non-controversial post, so none of you jackals will go harass the OOP for this one. After the last post, I'm really done posting anything controversial on here - at least, while the OOP still has an active account.*

TIFU by accidentally teaching my roommate's parrot to sing CBAT.

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Corfiz74

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zxn969/tifu_by_accidentally_teaching_my_roommates_parrot/

zxol9v

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Entitled old lady thinks the house next store is a brothel

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[deleted]

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zxpw0h

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Stepmother has a habit of throwing away Stepdaughter's belongings. Part 1.

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prettiergenghis

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zxq3kb

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Stepmother has a habit of throwing away Stepdaughter's belongings. Part 2.

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prettiergenghis

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zxq3kb/stepmother_has_a_habit_of_throwing_away/

zxq4ar

**I am not OP. Original post by [/u/SheDidNotListenToMe](https://www.reddit.com/user/SheDidNotListenToMe)**   ******   **[TIFU convincing my Deaf gf to tie me up and blindfold me](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/zo45bo/tifu_convincing_my_deaf_gf_to_tie_me_up_and/)** - 18th Dec 2022 Throwaway account. I'm not as good with words as most people who post on this sub, so my story might sound boring lol. My gf and I (m) are both 17. Communication is important for any relationship, but it's especially important for us because my gf is Deaf. A few weeks ago we became sexually active. It was awkward at first, but eventually we got the hang of it. I suggested we do something special in bed before we go our separate ways during the holidays. I convinced her to tie me up and blindfold me when we have sex again. Yesterday it happened. My gf and I were in her bedroom. We made sure to lock the door, even though we were alone in the house. When I was done going down on her, she tied me up and blindfolded me. She enjoys the reverse cowgirl position, so it didn't surprise me when I could feel her sitting on top of me like that. That position was our downfall because moments later I heard a knock on the door. It was her mom. I don't know if it's a Deaf person thing or just my gf, but her moans are loud as fuck. I've mentioned it to her many times (not as a criticism) and she always thinks I'm exaggerating. Her moaning made her mom lose her shit behind the door. I wiggled my hips like I was hula hooping to get my gf to either pay attention to my face and read my lips or get the fuck off of me before her mom kicked the door down. I couldn't see shit and my gf was becoming more enthusiastic and vocal due to my weird hip movements. The handcuffs were very challenging, but I managed to grab the box of wet wipes on the nightstand and toss it towards my gf. She paused and lifted my blindfold. I mouthed "your mom is home and she can hear us." My gf freed me and we got dressed as quickly and quietly as possible. Her mom stopped banging on the door when we stopped making a sound. My gf and I were too scared to open the door, so we literally did nothing. Her mom decided to send her a message on her phone. The message said "Is everything ok? Are you doing what I think you're doing?" My gf proceeded to type what seemed like the script for the next Lord of the Rings movie, but she changed her mind mid text and just replied with "yes" followed by "plz don't tell dad." I had to do my walk of shame in the presence of the mom, who was unpacking grocery bags in the kitchen at the time. I've never seen a person pack products into a fridge with so much aggression. We were unable to look at each other. I awkwardly said hello and goodbye and left. Tl:dr I convinced my Deaf gf to tie me up and blindfold me during sex. Her mom came home and heard us. My gf was oblivious to her mom banging on her bedroom door and continued fucking. Due to the positions we were both in, I struggled to tell my gf what was happening until it was too late.   **[UPDATE: TIFU using sign language to make my Deaf partner's parents love me](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/zqilqm/tifu_using_sign_language_to_make_my_deaf_partners/)** - 21st Dec 2022 A few days ago my gf and I got caught being intimate. Her mom heard us in the bedroom and banged on the door. My gf heard nothing because she is Deaf. I did my best to communicate what was happening, but I was in a compromising position at the time. By the time my gf and I were on the same page, the damage was done. Her mom heard it all. Yesterday my gf sent me a message to inform me that her parents wanted to have a discussion with the two of us regarding recent events. I agreed to meet with them at their house towards the end of the day. **This is what I expected to happen:** 1.Uncomfortable conversation with the parents about my shenanigans with their daughter. 2.Awkward apology from me. 3.Parents accepting my apology and encouraging my gf and I to practice safe sex, even though no sex at all would probably be their preference. 4.I use what I've learned in sign language to tell the parents how much I love their daughter and hopefully make them like me more. 5.Wholesome-ish ending. So, 1 - 3 kind of happened as expected, but I managed to fuck up 4 and 5. **This is what happened:** I've been learning sign language on an on and off basis for months now. I'm nowhere near good enough, but my gf and I thought it might disarm her parents if I made a small gesture in sign language to show how much I cared about her. It sounded like an excellent suggestion on paper, but I was worried that I would fuck it up because my sign language skills kind of suck. My gf encouraged me to learn something simple. Like an I love you or whatever. I thought maybe an "I love your daughter" to the parents would be better. However, due to the stress of her parents confronting us and the pressure to avoid saying the wrong things, including the sign language part, I became overwhelmed and miscommunicated the sign for "daughter" and signed "I love your whore." I knew the sign had something to do with touching the side of the cheek or chin, so I did what I thought made sense instead of aborting the mission when I forgot the fucking sign. Instant regret. My gf buried her face in her hands. I could tell she was laughing. Her parents didn't have the same reaction. The two of them looked at me like I was the poop demon in Dogma. I had no idea it was an inappropriate sign when it happened, but it was obvious I did something wrong. It was the complete opposite of a wholesome ending. My gf video called me afterwards to show me the difference between "daughter" and "whore" in sign language and to tell me I should probably avoid her parents for the time being because I'm not their favourite person at the moment. Guess I'm never gonna make a good impression now. Tl:dr I wanted to show my Deaf gf's parents how much I appreciated their daughter by using sign language to say "I love your daughter", but I accidentally signed "I love your whore" instead.

OOP is caught having sex with his deaf girlfriend

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c23gooey

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zxq4ar/oop_is_caught_having_sex_with_his_deaf_girlfriend/

zxrcxs

**I am NOT OP. Original post by** u/shatteredskybirch **in** r/ApplyingToCollege \---------------------------------------  [**I am going to ask him out (we got into the same school)**](https://www.reddit.com/r/ApplyingToCollege/comments/moqnve/i_am_going_to_ask_him_out_we_got_into_the_same/) \- April 9 2021 okay, so this is a huge FLUFF I literally had a crush on ONE single person my entire high school life and that is my best friend. We met in Honors English class when we were both in 9th grade. He is one of that god-accidentally-poured-too-much-talent kind of guy. He immigrated here from South Korea when he was 11, and he works super hard on everything. He absolutely HATES Asians-are good at math stereotypes because math is actually his least favorite subject (still got 5s in AP Cal and Stat 😖) and he wants to major in English Literature. I fell for him harder and harder over the years because not only is so SMARt and well put together but also super nice??? But I kind of felt like he was out of my league. Now I had two options: Either give up on him or work hard enough so that I don't feel so ˢᵐᵃˡˡ around him. Basically, I always studied when he did, worked when he did. I took all the AP classes he took (I assure you we are friends so it didn't feel like, stalking or anything). We both applied for T20 schools, and he kind of jokingly talked about how nice it would be to go to the same school and spend more time together on campus??? And WE WILL? And I will ASK HIM OUT!!!! WISH ME LUCK \---------------------------------------  [**\[UPDATE\] I am going to ask him out (we got into the same school)**](https://www.reddit.com/r/ApplyingToCollege/comments/mpy48k/update_i_am_going_to_ask_him_out_we_got_into_the/) \- April 12 2021 OKAY SO UPDATE for this FLUFF TIME HEre's what happened. It took me 3 days to come up with enough courage to even talk to him after I posted it. Only after I upload the original post did I realize that maybe he might also be part of this subreddit too and I PANICKED instantly when this thought crossed my mind. The post blew up and I was being a bit too specific with the detail for him to not notice it was him. Luckily for me, he doesn't even have a reddit account. SO Knowing how he has a big thing for Shakespeare, I tried to make things as Shakespearean as possible to somehow better my chances? Dunno. So naturally, I scheduled to watch *The King* with him via zoom (thanks to covid). I was so nervous I kid you not I had to turn off the camera several times to wipe droplets off my nose. Anyway, The movie was almost ending, and when Timothée Chalamet kills the old guy with the beard and goes talk to his ex gf (Lily Rose Depp) I thought about how awkward it must have been for Chalamet to act with his (then) gf, and how awkward it must be for them to act together again now they have broken up. I got sooooo nervous. You gotta understand he was a huge part of my high school, and the thought of losing him even as a friend really made me panic. Like for real, do you guys know how it feels like to swallow a throbbing beehive. I only felt like that when I was opening my letter of acceptance but now the threat was more existential. The movie ended and he started to talk about the movie and I couldn't really listen to what he was saying cause my ears were ringing. He realized something was wrong cause I was too silent. He asked me if I was okay and I kinda mumbled yes. And there was this long stretch of silence. Like for an entire MINUTE. Certainly, he read my mind and hated me already, I thought and then he said something like: "You know how I once told you about WB Yeats and how him getting heartbroken by his crush made him a great artist?" "I would like to write a poem like Yeats too, but I would rather be happy with the person I really like than to write a really good poem. You know what I mean? So you are either gonna make me a really good poet or really happy. But honestly, I would rather prefer the latter" GUYS IM DEAD. I asked him if he was asking me out and he said, "obviously" in a way that he always says it. ANd I THINK I SQUEAKED something like YES and then he wished me goodnight NOW I AM WRITING THIS AND I KID YOU NOT EITHER THIS IS A DREAM OR IT HAPPENED WTF is wrong with him. did he prepare an entire speech for me? I WONT" BBE ABLE TO SLEEP TONIGHT AGHH \*for those who asked, we are both going to T20 school in NH. HE is going to study Creative Writing and I am gonna study social science. HELP I wont ever sleep ver \---------------------------------------  **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

I am going to ask him out (we got into the same school)

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lillypillys

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zxrcxs/i_am_going_to_ask_him_out_we_got_into_the_same/

zxxnwh

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Entitled old lady thinks the house next store is a brothel

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zxxnwh/entitled_old_lady_thinks_the_house_next_store_is/

zy1q17

Originally posted by u/Throw_farfar_away_ in r/TrueOffMyChest on Dec 20, '22, updated the next day in the same post [Original Post ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/zr4994/i_was_pressured_into_a_threesome_by_my_boyfriend/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) I was pressured into a threesome by my boyfriend and enjoyed it, but not because of him. This happened two days ago, and my emotions are kinda still all over so sorry in advance. I'll try to put this in order and make it as clear as possible. Throwaway because BF knows my main. So I (21f) have been with my Bf (22m) for 3 years he's known I was bi since we started dating and had never really said anything about it till last year. After he met my college friend "Maya". Maya is also bi and very beautiful but while honest about her experience isn't one to brag. When in a group playing drinking games last year, Maya opened up about a threesome she had before, and I guess that's when my Bf got the idea. I had been against it when he first brought it up, but eventually, he wore me down. When I finally said yes, he immediately suggested Maya, which looking back was his aim from the start. When we approached Maya, she was down, and we had made plans that worked for everyone's schedule. Maya texted me separately multiple times to make sure I was on board and comfortable as she put "it just didn't seem my style," I told her I was onboard and to not worry that me and my Bf had talked about it. When the day came she surprisingly took the lead which I don't think my BF was expecting either. I'll spare you the details but she made sure the focus was me and actually instructed my boyfriend on what to do. If he tried to focus on her she'd gently redirected him to me. Saying things like "nuh look how pretty you're gf is when you do this." She barely let him touch her without asking me "do you want to do___". She would praise me a lot though out something I didn't even realize I liked. She also checked on both of us through the whole thing. I honestly think it was the best me and my Bf ever had. After it was over she did what she called 'after care' and made us comfortable. I don't remember me or BF falling asleep. But when we woke up breakfast was made. Maya is a chef professionally so it was amazing she had also left us a note as she had work in the afternoon and was sorry she couldn't stay. I feel like the dynamic between me Bf had changed since and I know we have to talk about it but I don't even know what to say. Edit: my point being I enjoyed sex with Maya more than I ever had with my boyfriend I didn't want to go super into detail cuz tmi but Maya was mostly touching me and was focused on me. I also think my boyfriend is disappointed he wasn't the focus. I also think he was surprised how much he like being told what to do Small update: my boyfriend beat me to it and has texted me we need to talk we are planning on meeting up at Starbucks after my shift tomorrow. I might update this post after Update: This whole thing was emotionally draining and this post blew up more than I thought. Well he saw the post and read through the comments. When we met he apologized he said he never saw himself convincing me as manipulation as we had talked about being more adventurous in the bedroom before and he thought I just needed time. He told me he did enjoy it a lot but it wasn't what he imagined it would be and was feeling insecure because I had been so responsive to Maya. It wasn't until after it was over he started feeling inadequate as a partner. I'll admit I was a little heated because I told him for the past year something like this would happen and that three-ways especially ones not talked about indepth and hard boundaries set, this happens. I was willing to work through this if he was willing to work on his insecurity, but then he asked me to drop Maya. I absolutely refused, Maya is one of the few friends I have in the city and were very close even before all this. I explained to him that distancing from Maya would not fix his insecurities. We went back and forth for a while before he tried to give me a "it's me or her speech" I just left him there I'm hurt and angry with myself it even got to this point. Like how in the hell did I get here? And I know I know you guys made sure to point out all the red flags but he was my first serious boyfriend. three years are hard to see past that I guess. I called Maya after I got home and explained everything she tried to apologize ,explaining she had had a small thing for me when we first met but grew into more just a friendship. when me and now ex bf approached her she was excited to in her words ",fuck it out of her system" she.apologized again saying she didn't want for us to break up or for this situation to be more than it was but I reassured her none of this is her fault. She said she would support me as a friend or give me space, whatever I wanted if that's what I needed and I really appreciate it. For all you guys, hoping I'd end up with Maya. Sorry to disappoint but I think I'm going to be single for a good long while and figure out my feelings. I do like Maya, as a friend and maybe more but if I was to ever pursue things I'd want to be sure I'm 100% genuine and not just feeling a void or an idea of a person. I have a therapist already and I guess this is going to be something I'm unpacking. So I can set better boundaries in the future for any future partners. Edit: So I keep getting PMs asking if they could put this on TikTok. I really don't care. I won't be logging into this account again after this so do whatever you want with this post. again, thanks for all the support.

OP Enjoyed The Threesome BF Insisted On, But Not Because Of Her Boyfriend (TOMC Dec 20, '22)

CONCLUDED

KittenDealinMama

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zy1q17/op_enjoyed_the_threesome_bf_insisted_on_but_not/

zy1ykh

Originally posted by u/ ggravating_Bid_8944 in r/TrueOffMyChest on Dec 19, '22, updated within the same post (undated). [Original post ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/zqeeab/i_am_staring_down_what_could_be_the_final_months/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) I am staring down what could be the final months of my marriage Throwaway account for obvious reasons. I (30M) and my wife (30F) have been in a wonderful relationship for the past 11 years. We are college sweethearts and have been through so much together, from living in multiple cities, to eloping and dealing with our pissed off friends and families together, to seeing each other through the death of loved ones, to getting our first and second cats together. We lived our second childhoods together, as we liked to call it, and have had the most loving relationship I could ever ask for. Well, earlier this year, that all came crashing down for me. This year, my wife came out to me as polyamorous, and told me that it was just something she was learning about herself. I felt taken aback by it and felt all sorts of insecurities: am I not enough? is this relationship a joke to you? why do you need to fuck other people? Of course, I didn't say any of these things to her, but instead tried to remain calm and discuss the topic with her. She told me that it wasn't something she necessarily had the energy to pursue, but that it was a side of her she was interested in exploring eventually. That gave me some relief because at least I felt like I had time to process everything with her and learn more about polyamory, and maybe challenge myself to see if I just learned more, then it would be okay. After she told me, we were talking about polyamory and what that might look like for us every now and then on date nights. I was always uncomfortable talking about it, because in truth, I just want her. I don't want to think about other partners every time I think about her. I want her, and only her. Why can't I be enough? If she is truly polyamorous and wants other people in her, doesn't that imply that I was never enough? Anyways, I entertained the idea, because well she has always been bisexual, and there was always a part of me that felt "guilty" for "trapping" her in a hetereosexual relationship. See, I was her first and only, and sometimes I wonder if part of her feels like her queerness never really got to be expressed because of that. So maybe, this could work. And hey, it's not like it's realistic to expect that either of us would ever feel attraction of any kind to someone else. It's just about whether it's acted on or not. The months pass and we both learn more about polyamory and what that can look like. We like the idea of a mono/poly hierarchical relationship, and I stupidly think yeah, our love is so strong, I'll definitely learn to want this. I'll be the primary partner and I'll always come first. I believe her when she says that, because she's only ever been 100% there for me through thick and thin. But inside, I'm worried, because if she finds another, won't she stop being there for me 100%? I tell her my fears and she comforts me, telling me that I am the love of her life and that she's not going anywhere: but then again, if she wants to see other people, isn't she going somewhere? I love her so much and want to believe her, but I find myself dying inside whenever consensual non-monogamy or polyamory is brought up. I start reading all the propaganda out there by people in polyamorous relationships. Oh, it's so ethical, monogamist don't even know how to communicate!, most 1:1 marriages fail because we're not evolved for that!, we have so much love to give! I start telling myself all those sweet nothings and denying myself the right to want monogamy. And the thing is, I believe my wife when she tells me that she would prioritize me. The fucking problem is I don't want that. I don't want someone to just come by and take her away from me, ever. I don't want some fucker to call themselves her partner, because I want to be the only one. I have given her all of myself, and she's always given all of herself to me. And I'm here making myself feel selfish for not wanting to share. Fuck me. Well, this all came to a head one day when she finally came to me with what I didn't want to hear. She developed feelings for someone else, and wanted to tell me about it for transparency. She's always been honest and transparent with me, but man, did this one hit me like a fucking truck. She assured me that she hasn't acted on it, that person doesn't know, and she doesn't have to take it any further than I am comfortable. But I get a panic attack and start having visions of her leaving me. We talk a lot and she spends a lot of time comforting me, and we agree to see a poly-friendly therapist who can guide us through what we're going through. We go see the therapist and she points out that we have a wonderful relationship, but our communication had broken down: my wife had agreed that we wouldn't do anything with polyamory this year, and while she hasn't acted on anything, telling me was basically asking me to move things forward. I eventually break down and confess that I don't want any of this, and that I hadn't been allowing myself to be okay with wanting the beautiful relationship we already have. It's a tough conversation that the therapist guides us through, and eventually we decide to put a formal pause to polyamory talks. My life had been suffering because of a lot of losses simultaneously: my best friend decided to stop being friends with me because she was jealous of my wife, my workplace laid off my best friends and left only me behind, and my grandmother died. I haven't been sleeping well and I've been gaining weight. I just need my life to be stable for a little bit. We all eventually agree that it's best that we take a few months to work our communication and to help me move on from a lot of the loss I have been experiencing. She promises that we can go as slow as we need to, and that I can have more time if I want. She won't act on any feelings, and promises to treat the topic as delicately and sparsely as she can. But she also admits that being poly is something she needs, and she has so much love to give. We'll be monogamous for a few more months while I get my shit together, I guess. The thing is, she has been so wonderful to me and we have had such a beautiful life together. I don't want anyone else but her, and I want her all to myself. I can have her for a few more months, and I'm afraid that when those months pass and it's time to revisit this conversation, I'll be changed and learn to be okay with this. I'll be okay and watch the world we built together slowly fade, watch her walk away from me as I stop being the only one in her life. The thing is, I already stopped being that to her the moment she figured she was poly. My relationship with her as I know it has already ended, and I'm staring down our final months as a monogamous couple. I'm trying to hold myself together and be a better husband and partner anyway. If I'm going to be let down in the end, I might as well have the best fucking last months with her as I know it. This could all work out, or it couldn't. Either way, my marriage as I knew it is essentially over. There's something else there now in its place. I never wanted this, but it's what I get. Part of me prays that if I ever entertain this poly shit a few months from now, that she starts dating and realizes that dating fucking sucks and "nevermind I'm not poly, just silly." But that's just a fantasy. I got a few months left with her. Then, us as we knew it is done. We'll be something else. Maybe it can be better, but I get this nagging feeling that I'll have to learn to let her go already. She has so much love to give, and one day, I won't be the only one. And maybe, it'll be over. I'm broken, but I know this isn't necessarily the end. UPDATE: Thank you for all of your comments, advice, and kind words. After reading a lot of what you all had to say, I decided that at the very least, I should be honest with myself by being honest with her about what I want. I talked to her and reiterated that I only want to be with her and I don't want her to see anyone else, and that any changes to our relationship dynamic has to be discussed and enthusiastically consented to and reaffirmed regularly. I asked her to confirm with me that we are monogamous right now, and she said yes, and she said that I am her life partner and the one she wants to be with. I apologized to her for not being clear earlier about my discomfort and we decided to hit the reset button on all of this during the pause. I asked her to cut off ties with that person she has feelings for, and while she was saddened by this, she asked me to trust that she would do it and not bring that person up again. She told me she wants to choose me even if it's painful right now, and she can't promise that she won't resent me over this, but would let me know if that happens. You all are right: our relationship isn't poly in any form unless we're both in it 100%, because poly relationships require honest communication and consent, not unlike mono relationships. The point being: your relationship is what you both enthusiastically consent to, and anything less than complete and utter consent is unethical and harmful. We both had a hand in this and are working to be better, to ourselves and to each other. To be clear, I left out in my original post that she told me that she would be okay with me seeing other people and would be happy for me, but I had told her repeatedly over the last few months that I don't like the idea of seeing anyone else because I have everything I could want and more with her, so why would I look? I love her and I love our relationship: I want all the good and the bad, and growing together is what gives me the most satisfaction, and I don't care for NRE. I want ORE: old relationship energy--I want to love her more every day, I want to deal with her shit because it's her and not anyone else, I want to make joyous memories together.... It pained me every time that she implied or stated that dating other people is okay, and I had to specifically tell her to stop saying I am allowed to date others outside of our therapy sessions because it felt like coercion and she apologized and agreed that she was overly excited and inconsiderate. I told her multiple times and I hope she sticks to her word. She also admitted to me that sometimes she mourns "all she could have had." I asked her if that meant she would have wanted to swap the life we had for something else: she said no, and meant that she sometimes mourns a different life like a curiosity, but I didn't quite buy that. She said that she loves the life we had together while simultaneously mourning what could have been, and that mourning is only "sometimes." I told her I never mourn the past, because it's what makes me today, with all the good and the bad. I told her the life we've lived and continue to live together is the brightest light and strongest pillar in my life, and wishing for anything else feels dishonest and untrue to me. She agreed it was similar for her but she still wonders anyway. I know that while this isn't a time limit, it still feels like one. I don't know if or when she will come to resent me or our relationship because of a need to see what's out there, or I guess more kindly, explore love in others. An irony is that her sister was dumped by her ex because he "wanted to see what's out there" and we laughed at his stupidity years ago, and I feel like that is happening in slow motion for me. That being said, I feel at a minimum that I got to put my foot down, both for her and for myself. I am preparing for the worst to come while hoping for the best. I still want us to work out, because what we have is too precious to just toss away. Call me an idiot but I am willing to try, and if her need to love others supersedes her need for me, so be it. I'll be ready either way. The threat of the end doesn't have to mean daily despair: it can mean a reason to take every day with grace and gratitude, and that's how I'll choose to move forward. Thank you, truly, everyone. I feel the love and support from all of you. Maybe in a few months I'll let you know how it all goes.

Man's Wife Suddenly Comes Out As Polyamorous (TOMC Dec 19, '22)

ONGOING

KittenDealinMama

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zy1ykh/mans_wife_suddenly_comes_out_as_polyamorous_tomc/

zy8yae

**I am not OOP. OOP is** [u/Yesitmatches](https://www.reddit.com/user/Yesitmatches/). They posted in [r/EntitledPeople](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/). (Thanks [u/runescapeowl](https://www.reddit.com/u/runescapeowl/) for the suggestion!) Your daily fun fact: [u/veritas0236](https://www.reddit.com/u/veritas0236/) wanted snacks. (Yes snacks, not snakes, I checked lol.) Apparently Flamin' Hot Cheetos were created by a janitor! He presented the idea to executives and is now an executive VP at PepsiCo. So... never give up on your flavor combinations I suppose. **(Edit- apparently he made most of the story up and didn't invent them, but did ascend from plant worker to director position. (**[Source](https://www.latimes.com/business/story/2021-05-16/flamin-hot-cheetos-richard-montanez)) **Trigger Warnings:** >!racism, guns!< **Mood Spoiler:** >!old biddy gets her comeuppance!< **Original** [Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/yxybda/you_know_the_owner_really/)**: November 17, 2022** So, this isn't as crazy as some of the stories that I have read here, but here is my recent experience with an Entitled Person. Some background information before we get started. My stepsister and her girlfriend rent a house that my boyfriend and I purchased, rehabilitated and remodeled in a college town in central Missouri. They are on the lease with some fellow students at the local college. So, in a three bedroom house, there are five girls. My boyfriend is over often because he takes care of a lot of the gardening and the tasks that require some heavy lifting. He had warned me that the next door neighbor is a bit nosey and seems to be the ol’ biddy type, despite not being elderly. Just for those keeping track, that is five girls, and one guy that routinely comes over; I haven’t really been to the house since we finished it, until this last weekend. Someone had suggested that some small garden boxes along the side of the house would be nice so they can plant some herbs and maybe some vegetables come springtime. And I am all about that, since I’m the green thumb of the couple, I went over and built some terraced garden boxes along the side of the house, each about four foot by three foot, so each bed was about three and a half foot wide by three quarters of a foot. Why am I doing this right before winter? Basically so we can make sure that the boxes are draining properly without losing too much soil from the box due to runoff. I am just finishing up when the ol’ biddy makes her appearance. The conversation starts off rather normal, even though I can tell that she is digging for some gossip to be able to tell the women’s group at church. Then she beckons me closer and says, “I know you’re just the hired help and are just here to do a job, but do you know what this house is?” “No, what is this house?” I ask. “Well, I don’t want to get involved, but I figured I ought to warn a pretty young thang like yourself, that this a brothel” Karen says, her voice lowered conspiratorially. I ask her what proof she has of this, and she explains that she saw a man here about a “week or so ago” (we collect rent on the 5th) and he was telling the girls that they had to pay him. She then goes on to explain that when he went to leave, my stepsister and her girlfriend both gave him a long hug. I ask her if she has anything else, and she says that she sees a mixture of people coming in and out, mostly men coming and staying for a couple hours or so before leaving, which really ain’t that unusual for five college students to have friends and classmates to come over for study groups and/or group projects. My mistake is I ended up rolling my eyes and clearly appearing uninterested in listening to her further because she started to huff, “I see you ain’t concerned about those girls and their welfare, I bet that pimp has you in on it too, well I know the owner of this property and I’m going to call them and report what’s going on to them” this is where I knew I had her, because my boyfriend and I own this place outright, and I don’t know her from Eve and she clearly didn’t know my boyfriend from Adam. “Go ahead Karen, why don’t you call them over” I say to her. “Oh, well they live in St. Louis, and you know what that means” Karen says. “No, no I really don’t know what that means” I push, trying to figure out if she innocently just means that it would take the owner too long to get here (or that the owner doesn’t care), but St. Louis and/or Kansas City have also become a bit of a dog whistle for “black” in this part of the state, and that is exactly what I think she means by it. Almost confirmed by her stuttering over her words, and repeating “You’ve got to know what that means”. “You shouldn't've said nothing, you are exactly what is wrong with this state, now I need you to take your bigoted ass back inside and leave us alone, and if I hear about you harassing thems that live or work here, I’ll have the police here haint-like and in a hurry to snatch you right on up” I said. This did have the desired effect of making her go away; what I failed to foresee in my anger was Karen calling the police and claiming that I threatened her. My stepsister came out shortly after Karen went away and was talking to me about her and some of the rude comments that have be sent her and her girlfriend’s way from “Bless your hearts” and “Y’all need Jesus” to “You whores are goin’ to Hell”. It was about this time that the police roll up and start asking me questions about what was going on with Karen, as they had gotten a report that someone matching my description had threatened her. So, I relate to the officer more or less what happened above. It’s at this time my stepsister asks the officer if she can show him something on her phone. The officer says yes, and my stepsister proceeds to show him a video, with audio of the conversation, and this lovely, six foot plus tall police officer that is also African-American also picks up on the unspoken meaning of “St. Louis owners” and he it is clear that it gets his hackles up, my sister then proceeds to show him videos of Karen’s harassment towards her and her girlfriend. He gives a clipped, “Y’all can go inside, but don’t go far, I’ll be right back”. Us all being biddy’s in training, immediately gather round the side window that allows us to overlook her front door. He marched up to her door and gave it three thudding clubs against it before waiting for Karen to come out. Unfortunately, he did not have the conversation on the porch with her, but I will say this, even with all of her doors and windows closed, we could hear the officer’s raised voice. He came back about five minutes later and told us that he had warned her to leave us alone and to stop harassing us. Before leaving he gave my stepsister his card and said that if she starts up again, to give him a call and he will get us a no-contact order and charge her from harassment. It’s been four days, and Karen won’t as much as look in the direction of anyone in the house, hopefully this is the end of it. Edit: Thank you for the awards! ***Relevant Comments:*** "I'm sure her face was a picture. Also, I have a gut feeling that this isn't the first time Karen has called into the department, so they might have specifically sent this Sergeant to deal with her. Or it might have just been whatever higher power controls the random number generator of this reality that elected a black officer to confront her. Either way, it was chef's kiss." *More info on subtext of Karen's comments:* "She was insinuating that the place was a brothel because it was all women that live there and those "damn \[African-American\] criminals from the city\]" are running it, because the only reason someone from St. Louis would own a house here full of women would be for criminal activity and criminals are African-American (in the mind of a racist). Also, St. Louis is a plurality African-American, hence racist Karen's assumption that the owners are African-American." **Update** [Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/z9b3xw/update_you_know_the_owner_really/)**: November 30, 2022** I had another encounter with Ol’ Biddy Karen. This happened on Thursday (Thanksgiving for my fellow Americans. Aka a day of gluttony that is supposed to be used to reflect on what we are thankful for as we remember the myth of how this country was settled). For the people involved, I have talked about my step-sister, Jules and her girlfriend, Kyra, in my last post and I briefly mentioned my boyfriend, Jim. I would also like to introduce my business partner, Seamas and his wife, Pypper. As is normal this time of year, many people are getting together for Thanksgiving. Jules and Kyra were the only ones in their house, they stated that they wanted to host Thanksgiving, it was a small event with just us three couples. Everything is going great, until after the sun goes down and we move from the dinner table to the fire pit in the front yard. The six of us are sitting around the fire and just talking. It is mostly Jules and Kyra talking to Seamas about the business; I am more focused on the marketing and monetary aspect of the business while Seamas is the creative mind behind our game. Of course with Jules and Kyra getting excited about the ideas and the conversation also wandering into the accompanying lore novel, the volume of the conversation was getting a little loud. Granted, not illegally loud (sound ordinance doesn’t start until 10pm), but loud all the same. This loudness summoned forth the Ol’ Biddy from her hermitage, with all of the bitterness that no family wanting her presence creates. I will never know what possessed her (or deprived her of her good sense) to come running up from the street with a cane, screeching like a Banshee at the six of us, but it nearly cost her everything. Ol’ Biddy got greeted by the barrels of five handguns pointed at her, and the booming voice of my boyfriend telling her “to freeze, and to not move a fucking muscle”. Thankfully, the voice of someone that spent over a decade in the Marines, and likely the sight of so many handguns, did make her stop, but then also turn around and run off back to her home. Yes, we immediately called the Sergeant that left his card with us. And we were informed that Ol’ Biddy was making a call to report us for discharging weapons at her. We informed the Sergeant that there were no shots fired, but multiple handguns were brandished as she came charging at us from the darkness with a stick of some kind (Personally, I’m glad shots were not fired, or that there wasn’t a “real” emergency, because it still took the police almost half an hour to arrive). Once the police arrived, it was only two units, with a grand total of four officers, Ol' Biddy came running out of her house, ranting and raving about how we were shooting at her, and a whole bunch of other lies. The police of course got our side of the story and while not the full security system some have suggested, we do now have a video doorbell that records when it senses motion, so it was basically recording all of us in the front yard, and we showed that to the officer. It was really all the officer needed to see, before he walked over to the officer that was taking her statement and informed her that Ol’ Biddy was being arrested for Criminal Trespassing, and Criminal Menacing, and needs to add “Thankful to not have been legally shot dead on Thanksgiving”, to her Thanksgiving list of “Things to be Thankful For”. In the nearly week since this happened: I was contacted by the OWNER of Karen’s house, asking for an affidavit of her harassment toward my tenants as well as her actions on Thanksgiving, so the landlord can move forward with the eviction case. We have upgraded the security system to include motion activated IR/Color security cameras that cover the entire outside and have overlapping fields of view. Been notified that Karen was unable to make bail and is currently being detained until at least her arraignment. ***Relevant Comments:*** "One thing I have to give this state, before notice can be served, you have give the tenant at least seven days notice of a court day. Then you and the tenant go before the court and plead your case to the judge and the judge will either order you to basically back off, grant eviction or offer a remedy to be complied with in lieu of eviction. I'm pretty sure that she will be served while still in holding. I wouldn't want to be a guard on the block that night." *Why guns were pulled:* "In the dark of night, a deranged man with a machete, a strung out man on PCP and an old lady with a cane, all sound about the same in the night when in battle charge. Thankfully, we did all wait to "be sure of our target and what's beyond it". Even more thankfully that either through training or through just stress paralysis, no one fired into the darkness." *Why did they have their guns with them:* "Because Seamas, Pypper, my bf and myself carry everywhere, it's no different than making sure we have our wallets. Jules also keeps her self-defense weapon on her at all times. Welcome to Missouri."

Entitled old lady thinks the house next store is a brothel

ONGOING

LucyAriaRose

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zy8yae/entitled_old_lady_thinks_the_house_next_store_is/

zybj5l

Originally posted to AAM. [Original post](https://www.askamanager.org/2022/01/my-coworker-tried-to-film-her-pregnancy-announcement-and-now-there-is-chaos.html) So this is an enragingly dumb breach of basic manners and I need to know I’m not crazy. I’m technically in an executive role but I don’t have authority over people, just finances, but I was told I should have “acted like a better manager” during this whole fracas. I kind of can’t believe someone would do something like this, especially since our office finally got 100% vaxxed (group decision, everyone pulled together, very cool) and we’ve had to be so careful about even breathing near one another for the last two years. My coworker, “Jessie,” is pregnant and decided she wanted to film a reaction video announcement telling everyone in our office. This is a marketing firm, but we’re a small satellite office so corporate encourages us to do a lot of “meet the staff” and “it’s Tiffany’s Birthday” type sharing posts to attract clients. We’ve had problems before with the higher-ups encouraging some oversharing, and just a LOT of bad personal boundaries in the office. I feel like this inspired Jessie and another coworker, “Daniela,” to do this pregnancy announcement by tossing people a positive pregnancy test so they could film the reactions. Two quick things: A positive pregnancy test is a used pregnancy test, which means it was urinated on. I used to be a lab tech before I made a career switch so yes, even if it was wiped down with the cap on, it still has urine on it, and if it was a test from home that she brought with her it, bacteria and other unpleasantness could be incubating inside the plastic. We just spent two years disinfecting our mail. Jessie started by tossing the used pregnancy test to “Abby,” who flung it when she realized what it was and yelled “oh gross,” which got a lot of people’s attention and “ruined” Jessie’s announcement. It’s kind of office knowledge that Abby is a germophobe so while part of me gets that Jessie was excited and maybe didn’t think things through, the rest of me feels like this was a really unfair position to put Abby in, along with all the other staff she was planning to throw a used peed-on pregnancy test at. Jessie and Daniela got super upset and offended and everyone in the cubicle block started arguing. Because there were no managers or HR on site that day, and I would be the next “ranking” executive, I stepped in and defused the situation as best I could. I pulled Jessie and Daniela aside and congratulated Jessie. But here’s the part everyone’s mad at. I told them it’s never okay to hand someone something they urinated on, regardless of if they wiped it down and put the cap back on it. I said we’re excited for Jessie but that wasn’t okay and to throw the test out or take it home. By the time the managers and HR got back in office, they were told multiple versions of the whole thing. For the record, they’re also all men. I got called in to explain what I saw. HR told me they’re considering disciplinary actions for Abby and anybody else who “reacted poorly” unless they publicly apologize to Jessie. I told them that was a terrible idea and, not knowing what else to do, I called corporate HR and relayed the situation to our female head of HR, outlining what I saw, who said what, and the low-level bullying that Abby’s been subjected to now. (If someone asks Jessie about her pregnancy and she knows Abby’s in earshot, she’ll say loudly, “Oh, well I guess my baby is GROSS according to SOME PEOPLE.”) Corporate HR (which is separate from our on-site HR) was horrified and put out a company-wide memo about keeping bodily fluids to yourself. Nobody’s really doing anything about how badly Abby’s getting bullied, and several of us (me included) are still being encouraged to write Jessie an apology letter, which I won’t do. I get that a lot of people feel like they need to perform for social media, but I’m still stuck on the science and the double standard of it all. If I threw anything with my urine or bodily fluids on it other than a pregnancy test at coworker, people would be livid. So I guess my question is: WTF do I do? [update](https://www.askamanager.org/2022/05/updates-the-filmed-pregnancy-announcement-the-dress-code-and-more.html) have a kind of wonderful update. Abby knew I wrote in, so she feels very supported and extends thanks to you all for having her back. For some clarity: all our management team/onsite HR staff are older men in their 50s or so (the rest of the office is early 20s-30s) and despite being required to report to their respective corporate managers, they tend to sweep things under the rug like interpersonal conflict, bullying, harassment, and sexism (shocker), and apparently, this was the final straw. HR and corporate came down for an investigation. **The guy yelling the loudest that we owed Jessie an apology and ignored reports about Abby being bullied? Jessie’s baby daddy**. It shouldn’t have surprised me but it did. I don’t know a lot, but I know that some management was moved to different offices/locations, offered severances, or transfers to our parent company. I also was home after testing positive for Covid (I didn’t throw my positive test at anyone, and I’m feeling much better) so I missed the primary upheaval but the consensus is that the management shakeup was really necessary and our office vibe is back to being chill and fun //// Reminder that I’m not the OP, this is a repost sub.

OOP’s coworker tried to film her pregnancy announcement and now there is chaos

EXTERNAL

Cleverusername531

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zybj5l/oops_coworker_tried_to_film_her_pregnancy/

zybkjq

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/tricky_connection989 in r/amitheasshole** ---   [**AITA for refusing to wear a disgusting ugly sweater to Christmas dinner with my boyfriend despite it being a "family tradition"?**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zsdhi9/aita_for_refusing_to_wear_a_disgusting_ugly/) - 22 December 2022 My bf and I have been dating for a few months, and he invited me to meet his family for the first time for Christmas dinner. According to him, it's his brother's (he has three) family tradition to make new partners wear an ugly Christmas sweater of their choosing as a "rite of passage" (his words) for entering the family. At first I thought the concept was cute (I had imagined things like Santa getting stuck in a chimney, lights, bells, etc). but when they mailed me the sweater my jaw dropped. It was probably the most vulgar Christmas sweater I've seen (without getting into it, let's just say that Santa was making gestures/participating in an act that was not ok for children to see). I personally thought it was gross, and it was bad enough that if someone at work saw me wear it I'd definitely get in trouble. I told my boyfriend that in no way would I wear this, but he said I was being a wet blanket and unsupportive of his family tradition. I said I'd wear any other sweater and would even pay for one myself, but he just called me a spoil sport. I do love my boyfriend, so I actually considered wearing it and asking people to not take photos as a compromise, but the day of the party I decided to not wear it last minute. I had to drive separately from work so my boyfriend didn't know about this prior. When his brother opened the door, he eyed me up and down and I could tell he wasn't happy that I didn't wear the sweater. My boyfriend was really pissed when he saw me, and we argued in the guest room for a little bit. His brothers teased me for being uptight, and I could tell the jokes embarrassed my boyfriend. I ended up leaving the party early without my boyfriend, and we've been fighting via text since. Now I'm thinking that I was an AH for taking the joke too seriously. Verdict: NTA **UPDATE:** I really appreciate everyone who took the time to message me. After reading your comments, I really thought long and hard about my boyfriend's family and whether or not I wanted to be with a partner who wouldn't respect my boundaries. We got in one final fight when he nagged me to apologize to his brothers all separately. I told him that if he wore the sweater they bought me to our Friendsmas party (about 15-20 attendees) then I'd apologize. He immediately freaked and said "no", and tried to argue they wouldn't understand because it's not their tradition. I explained that it had nothing to do with "tradition" but rather with my personal comfort level and whether or not the sweater was an appropriate article of clothing. I asked him why he felt uncomfortable wearing the sweater in front of friends, and he refused to answer. He froze up and that's when I realized it wasn't going to work out. He knew that it was inappropriate and he, himself, refused to wear it in public. Yet he was too stubborn to apologize and be on my side. I told him it wasn't going to work out, so I guess I'm going into the new year single as a pringle. A few friends found out about the break up already, and *this* might have made me an AH now, but I sent them the photo of the sweater and explained what happened. I'm also glad to know that even people IRL were grossed out. I don't know what will happen with his friendships with those people, but it's none of my business at this point. Thanks guys, and happy holidays!   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

AITA for refusing to wear a disgusting ugly sweater to Christmas dinner with my boyfriend despite it being a "family tradition"?

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toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zybkjq/aita_for_refusing_to_wear_a_disgusting_ugly/

zybwkq

[removed]

There and Back Again: the short saga of a missing bird and was later reunited with its owner [original post from r/sanmarcos]

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zybwkq/there_and_back_again_the_short_saga_of_a_missing/

zyc9y6

[removed]

OOP's sister makes it look like she cheated on her fiance and whole family disowns OOP.

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zyc9y6/oops_sister_makes_it_look_like_she_cheated_on_her/

zydodp

[removed]

TIFU by putting my boss in the hospital

REPOST

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zydodp/tifu_by_putting_my_boss_in_the_hospital/

zydtow

[removed]

AITA For Wanting to Bring My Boyfriend to My Family’s Christmas Celebration?

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liadantaru

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zydtow/aita_for_wanting_to_bring_my_boyfriend_to_my/

zyer7a

** I am not OP. Original posts by u/-cordyceps on r/antiwork ** [I just rage-quit my job of 5 years](https://www.reddit.com/r/antiwork/comments/q7n0x7/i_just_ragequit_my_job_of_5_years/) Oct 13 21 So a bit of backstory, I have worked at this (very small, less than 50 people) company for about 5 years. I was brought on as an assistant, and within three years I worked my way up to one of the heads of the department. My job is a niche within a niche, so I was able to train myself in very industry-specific knowledge. My company has it's problems. Many of the higher-ups are toxic, resort to bullying, and overall can be dicks. But I've put up with it because I was learning very valuable skills and I truly am passionate about what I do and the industry. When the pandemic struck, my work REFUSED to let people wfh. One person walked out, and I was so scared I started to have a panic attack (I live with someone who was high-risk, so I was TERRIFIED I was going to give it to them). I had to threaten to quit before they let me be work from home. They finally relented. And guess what? My productivity sky rocketed. I increased our winning rate by 23% since the beginning of 2020 alone. It has been better for my mental health to be away from the bullies, and I can focus easier. It also improved my health--I lost 30 lbs without even trying. My carpal tunnel practically disappeared. Last week, I was offered a job for a similar role in a bigger (competing) company. They were offering me a $23k a year increase in salary and a fully remote position. I was on the fence, because despite more money, it was hard to let go of a place that I've spent so much time (and so much professional development) on. I also was worried about several of my coworkers (the ones that AREN'T bullies). On Monday morning I go to one of the higher-ups with my dilemma. She was so supportive, immediately congratulating me and said "I'm going to talk to the CEO tomorrow, I'll tell him your situation so he has the opportunity to counter-offer you." I told her it wasn't really the money, it was also the remote policy. So today I get a call from the higher-up. And this is how our conversation went: Her: The CEO is willing to raise your salary, but first he wants to negotiate you coming back into the office. Me: What? Doesn't he realize this other position is fully remote? Her: Yes, but he says the company has been generous with working with you on being remote and now you will need a doctor's note to remain such. Me: Generous!? There was a global pandemic! It wasn't some sort of favor to me, it was what the company *HAD* to do because of COVID-19. I'm glad they finally did it, but I had to beg because I was so scared I was going to kill my partner. Her: Yes, but some people remained in the office this whole time-- Me: That's not my problem. They were not taking it seriously and there were no rules implemented by the company regarding masks, social distancing, etc. Them staying in the office made me realize I had to remain staying home because I knew they weren't being safe. Her: That's why he says it's generous he has let you stay home for this long. Me: I've also proven that I am more effective in a remote position. It has been a net positive for the company as a whole. Her: I understand.... Me: I don't care if you give me a salary increase, this is about respect. I was on the fence about this new position but now I see that I have to take it. Consider this my official notice: I quit. I just signed the contract with the new company. Thanks for making it easy on me, old company. [UPDATE/HAPPY ENDING: I just rage-quit my job of 5 years](https://www.reddit.com/r/antiwork/comments/zstxad/updatehappy_ending_i_just_ragequit_my_job_of_5/) Dec 22 22 Short tldr: After undergoing 5 years of abuse and overwork, I was offered a job that was fully remote and with better pay/benefits. I was hesitant about switching jobs due to changing health insurances/fear of change. I told my previous employer that I was willing to stay if they offered me work from home (I didn't even ask for a pay increase!) full time, and they told me that I should just be grateful I have a job and I needed to come back to the office right away. I got so mad I quit and hung up on them. So after that initial phone call (and post here), I got another phone call the next day from my previous employer asking if I had "decided on what I was doing". I reiterated that I quit, and they pulled out a full guilt trip on how I can't leave them high and dry. I hung up again, but decided ultimately to finish out the 2 weeks since I could use the paycheck. The two weeks were wild, they kept acting like I wasn't leaving. They kept assigning me new projects that I couldn't possibly finish, and every time I brought up my departure they'd talk over me or ignore me. Whatever, I kept telling myself it wasn't my problem anymore so I decided to just half-ass everything until my time was up and get that last paycheck. On my last day, I went to turn in my computer and everyone in the office kept asking me to do more work. I kept telling them it's my last day, I'm leaving, my computer is being turned in, I can't possibly work any further. One of the execs even got teary and kept wailing about "But who is going to do all this!" I shrugged and said you guys had 2 weeks to figure it out, and that was generous of me. The CEO ran out of the back door as soon as he heard me come in through the front so he wouldn't have to say goodbye, lol. He continued texting me to do work through out the day, so I ended up blocking his number. Then I started my new job and it's been a *dream*! The pay and benefits are so, so much better. There isn't a bullying problem here, and it's almost like the blinders were pulled off of me. I didn't realize how abusive my old work place was until I was working with a team of actual nice people. For months, I'd react like a battered housewife, every time I'd make a mistake I'd be on the brink of tears and overly apologetic but everyone here has been nothing but kind and supportive and understanding. Of course, there is always room for improvement, but it's like night and day better. Meanwhile, every few weeks I'd get a phone call from my old company. Here are some highlights of what they have asked/what has happened: * None of this paperwork is getting done and no one knows how to do it, if I don't tell them they will lose money - NOT MY PROBLEM! * Will I come back if they hire me an assistant? - NO * Will I come back if they hire me an assistant and match my pay - NO and you are supposed to give a counter offer before someone leaves for a new job, not months afterwards LOL * Now my old position has been split into 2 positions and has 2 different job postings because they can't find anyone who can do all of it - LOL NOT MY PROBLEM! * We hired someone for one of the positions, but they quit on the spot and walked out after 4 days - LOL GOOD FOR THEM! * They sent me a contract to be an on call consultant for them. Like they didn't even ask, they just sent it to my email with the email body saying 'please sign and return as soon as possible' - I ALREADY HAVE A JOB! * Now my old position has been split into 3 different positions with 3 job postings - LOL * My absence has made one of my former coworkers so stressed out that she's now in the hospital, I should be ashamed of myself and come back just to help her - IT'S NOT ME OVERWORKING HER TO DEATH ITS THIS COMPANY! * Now my old position has been split into 4 (that's right, fucking four) different positions with 4 different job postings - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA * Will I come back if they literally offer me double the money, with an assistant? - I was so glad they asked because I got to tell them straight up "There are some things money can't buy, and I didn't quit over money so you can't get me back with money." * We are losing tons of money and may have to layoff people soon if you don't come back! - SORRY BUT FUCK YOU! Moral of the story: NEVER ACCEPT THE COUNTER and don't put up with bullshit! I felt so powerless all those 5 years because I grew up in poverty, and didn't have any safety net to tell them no or to tell them to back off. Now the company is floundering and I realized how much happier I could be with a different environment. It doesn't matter what your background is, you deserve respect and your basic needs met. I don't care if you don't have any education, where you were born, what you do in your spare time we all deserve respect and boundaries. Take it from me, I'll always advocate for the working person and this is proof that WE DESERVE AND CAN ACHIEVE BETTER TOGETHER!!!! Happy holidays yall! Edit: forgot one other bullet point because they were so many in the past year ** Reminder: I am not the Original Poster. **

I just rage-quit my job of 5 years

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swtogirl

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zyer7a/i_just_ragequit_my_job_of_5_years/

zyfomw

[removed]

AITA For Wanting to Bring My Boyfriend to my family’s Christmas Celebration? (OOP)

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Western_Ad1352

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zyfomw/aita_for_wanting_to_bring_my_boyfriend_to_my/

zyfs9m

[removed]

“My mom is forcing me to have a kid I don’t want” UPDATE

ONGOING

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zyfs9m/my_mom_is_forcing_me_to_have_a_kid_i_dont_want/

zygboi

Originally posted by r/IvyVineLine in AskReddit. The posts have since been deleted so I've recovered them using the Wayback Machine. I've included links to the original deleted posts and to the Wayback Machine screenshots. ​ TW: >!child abuse, spousal abuse, drinking, smoking, drugs!< ​ **ORIGINAL**: [My nephew's girlfriend is 4-5 months pregnant and will not stop drinking, smoking, and doing drugs. Is there anything we can do to have her rights to the child taken away before or shortly after the baby is born (if it makes it that far)? : AskReddit](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/q720d/my_nephews_girlfriend_is_45_months_pregnant_and/) \- 26th February 2012. **WAYBACK**: [My nephew's girlfriend is 4-5 months pregnant and will not stop drinking, smoking, and doing drugs. Is there anything we can do to have her rights to the child taken away before or shortly after the baby is born (if it makes it that far)? : AskReddit (archive.org)](http://web.archive.org/web/20120301021735/https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/q720d/my_nephews_girlfriend_is_45_months_pregnant_and/) ​ My nephew is a good guy. He's 21, he's had to make it on his own because his mother, my "only technically" sister has put every man she's ever had in her life before her only child. He works, he's going back to school to learn a trade, and he has tried to take care of his girlfriend (22) who we have always known is a little... Off... He was trying to leave her because she's a mean drunk, she has hit him, she throws things, has torn holes in their apartment that he now has to pay for, she's gotten so drunk that she passed out on the bus, and from the bus station was taken to the hospital with alcohol poisoning (which we now know was early on in her pregnancy). She's a fucked up kid. She essentially gave herself a turkey baster pregnancy using a used condom so she could "trap" my nephew, and is now several months pregnant, but she never told anyone until she was confronted about it because she started showing. She's had no prenatal care, and she still drinks, smokes cigarettes, and does drugs. She's off the wall fucking nuts too. My nephew is currently staying with us because he needed to get away from her, and she calls the house over 50 times in a day at all hours of the day or night. We've tried to be diplomatic, we've all tried to get her to go to AA, get some counseling, see a doctor, but she refuses, and her mother enables all of her behaviors. We live in California, does anyone know of any way we could bring this situation up to family court before or shortly after she has the baby so that she can't have custody? She's obviously an unfit mother and she has mental problems of some sort, outside of all the drinking. Is there *anything* we can do in this situation that will protect the baby, and my nephew, from her? Personally, and you can say I sound like a bad person if you wish, but I really hope she either chooses to get an abortion (which I doubt), or has a spontaneous abortion, because there is no way she has gone this far through her early pregnancy drinking and doing what she does to not have harmed the baby. I think that situation would be best for all those involved, especially for the baby. Any insight into how we can help this situation along would be greatly appreciated. **Edit:** I can't thank everyone enough for their advice and support, and wow, I never expected this to hit the front page... Ok, so a few things have been mentioned and I'm looking into all of them: * Making sure he gets a paternity test before signing anything * Document everything, record things she's said, pictures and video tapes or her being drunk, nanny cams, number of times she's called and texted, etc. * Having her and the baby drug/alcohol tested at the time of birth * Get a social worker and/or a good lawyer involved * I've been given several sites into which I can do some research to find out exactly what the laws in my state and county say about this situation * And overall stay positive and supportive of my nephew and his future child should it survive that long Thanks again, Reddit. **Edit 2:** Also going to show her pictures of babies born with extreme FAS and lack of prenatal care. ​ *Relevant comments*: \- She'll drink a whole bottle at a time 2-4 times a week, she smokes about half a pack a day, and as for the drugs... I know she smokes weed multiple times a day, and I've been told she has gotten into meth and other hard drugs, but I've never actually seen her do them in front of me, so I cannot confirm what and how much 100%. \- So far CPS has given us the, "This sounds like a domestic issue, and there's nothing we can do until there's an actual child in danger" bullshit, which, frankly, I don't believe should be the case. They should be able to intervene before the baby is even born. ​ **UPDATE**: [\[UPDATE\] My nephew's girlfriend is 4-5 months pregnant and will not stop drinking, smoking, and doing drugs. Is there anything we can do to have her rights to the child taken away before or shortly after the baby is born (if it makes it that far)? : AskReddit](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1217el/update_my_nephews_girlfriend_is_45_months/) \- 24th October 2012 **WAYBACK**: [\[UPDATE\] My nephew's girlfriend is 4-5 months pregnant and will not stop drinking, smoking, and doing drugs. Is there anything we can do to have her rights to the child taken away before or shortly after the baby is born (if it makes it that far)? : AskReddit (archive.org)](http://web.archive.org/web/20121028002444/https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1217el/update_my_nephews_girlfriend_is_45_months/) \[Removed link to original post.\] I want to thank everyone for the kind words and advice, a lot of it came in very useful. Now for the update... MY nephew is now officially a single father to four month old little Smithy III, even though it's been a very rough time for him. She continued to drink through the end of her pregnancy, and while the baby has grown to be big as an ox (his daddy is 6'5), you can tell by his facial features and certain developmental delays that he has FAS and will likely have cognitive development issues as he gets older. After having the baby, we were hoping that would be enough of a wake up call for her to decide to get her drinking in order or go into rehab, but instead she barely seemed to acknowledge the child was actually that, a child, and used him more as a tool to control my nephew further. My nephew has lost three jobs in the last four months due to her antics, on more than one occasion showing up to his work drunk, with no shoes or shirt on, the baby filthy, and screaming and crying that she needed help and couldn't "handle him" alone, and that my nephew needed to come home. Other times my nephew would arrive home and the baby would be screaming with a soaking diaper, full of his own dried on sick, and not having eaten in hours, and she'd be completely unwakeable. The police became involved in their squabbles often, usually because he would bring the baby to our house because she was passed out drunk as usual, and when she'd wake she'd call the police and have them bring her to our house. Naturally, because he was the child's father there was nothing they could do to take him from here, so they'd end up telling her to go home, at which point she'd begin yelling and screaming, and they'd sometimes arrest her, other times they'd just take her back to the station to sober up. After my nephew found her passed out in their bed with another guy, with the baby full of his own shit and vomit (she hadn't even bothered to put a diaper on him), he'd had enough of this and filed a restraining order against her, as well as for emergency custody of their son. He refused to allow her to see him at all unless she was sober, and even then when she began to get out of hand, he'd tell her she'd have to leave or he'd call the cops and have her arrested (restraining orders are good for that). When their custody court date came, she was convinced that he wasn't going to go and she was on a bender anyway so she didn't go, and sole custody was awarded to my nephew. She is allowed to see him four hours per week under supervision if my nephew deems her sober and fit, but that's it. After the custody verdict came back, she began calling my house screaming that she didn't have a baby anymore and that we could just kill it because it wouldn't make a difference. She still does not understand how any of her actions have led to what happened. She blames my nephew for "plotting against her" to take the baby, and her mother for not stopping him, and my family for... Pretty much everything else. Her mother is supportive of my nephew and is aware that her daughter is ill, and is glad they are now away from her. We all are. Again, I thank everyone for their original input and advice, much of it came in helpful, and my nephew and great nephew are now in a much safer, saner place. Thanks, Reddit. ​ *Please note: this is a repost. I am NOT the original poster.*

OOP's nephew's girlfriend is 4-5 months pregnant and will not stop drinking, smoking, and doing drugs.

CONCLUDED

InADustyCorner

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zygboi/oops_nephews_girlfriend_is_45_months_pregnant_and/

zygg5e

[removed]

“My mom is making me have a kid I don’t want” UPDATE

INCONCLUSIVE

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zygg5e/my_mom_is_making_me_have_a_kid_i_dont_want_update/

zyhki9

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/prankeyprank in r/tifu** ---   [**TIFU by putting my boss in the hospital**](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/iooq39/tifu_by_putting_my_boss_in_the_hospital/) - 8 September 2020 I’m typing this from home as my work unexpectedly received a half-day for my antics. So my boss and I have been having a little prank war. Nothing extravagant nothing harmful: just fun little office pranks to keep spirits up. I work in corporate insurance so most of my day is spent behind a desk and it gets very boring at times. Well my boss pranked me good last week with the help of an IT guy that sent an email which the font size in the email slowly decreased and then all the sudden a picture of a baboons ass popped up with a farting noise (which my boss made sure the sound was all the way up on my little desk speakers). Scared the crap out of me and made my coworkers laugh. Anyway, I’m thinking I gotta get him back. My buddy works on the same floor but has permission to come in a little earlier as he is in management and starts his projects before my coworkers come in. I go in early with him and let him know my plan. So I brought a spider and some fishing line. The spider was a realistic looking model that I tied to the fishing line and placed above his desk on the ceiling: running the line with some cables on the ground and then behind a picture on the wall.The office ceiling is a brown/black color so unless you really look hard you’re not going to notice the spider. I waited until after lunch to spring my trap. I walked into his office “what’s up boss Blah Blah blah.” Hes sitting at his desk, prime position for a spider drop down. So I go to tie my shoe and unhook the fishing line that I taped to the leg of his desk. I started lowering the spider. Eventually the spider comes down and touches his nose. He starts freaking out and falls out of his chair clutching his chest gasping for air. I just kinda stood there in shock like “SHIT!” Anyway, paramedics come, my other manager releases us for the day and here I am, realizing I might’ve just killed my boss. Tl;DR prank on boss went wrong, surprised him and he had a heart attack. Now he’s in the hospital and I don’t know his condition at the moment.   [**TIFUPDATE putting my boss in the hospital**](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ip94b6/tifupdate_putting_my_boss_in_the_hospital/) - 9 September 2020 So I’ll begin where I left off yesterday. Paramedics loaded my boss onto a wheeled stretcher (or whatever they call them) and put him in the back of an ambulance to go off to the hospital. I seriously thought that he was in big trouble because the paramedics were treating him like he was having a severe heart attack. He looked like he was on the verge of dying as they loaded him up. Anyway, afterwards my other manager tells us all to go home. It was Labor Day so there weren’t that many people working. I go home and am freaking out, nervous as hell until my manager called me and told me my boss was stable but it was close. “Come in tomorrow for work at 10am we need to have a discussion” At this point I’m double freaking out because I’m thinking “shit I’m going to get fired over a stupid ass spider prank.” I get into work at about 950 and I make the dreaded trip up to my desk. At this point everyone in the office knew I basically killed our boss and literally everyone stopped to stare at me. I just kinda tried to keep my head down as I was thoroughly embarrassed. I got to my cubicle and my manager was already standing there, “don’t put your stuff away this will take just a moment.” He takes me to my bosses office. Which I thought he was going to ask what the spider on the fishing line was doing there and then, after I answered, fire me. Door was already open and after I walk in my manager tells me to take a seat and then he closes the door after I step in (he stayed out). I sat down, pretty much sweating out of my clothes and all the sudden, to add insult to injury, my boss sneaks up behind me and yells “THOUGHT I WAS DEAD HUH!!!” Well at that point I basically shit my pants frightened like a little girl seeing a monster in the closet. He claps me on the back and I turn around. The fucker is wearing no shoes and was hiding behind the door to creep up behind me. At this point I’m both relieved, terrified, and just generally shook. And he sits down and tells me how he did it. Apparently the manager (my buddy from last post) that let me in early on Labor Day told him about my entire plan. My boss knew about the spider and pretty much planned around my move The fucker literally let a bunch of workers have a half day to foil my prank and got his EMT buddy to make a quick stop by to “treat his heart attack.” I’m never pranking my boss again. On a good note I’m not fired Tl;dr had a juicy prank for my boss, he faked a heart attack, let half the workers have a 1/2 day, scared the shit out of me by coming back to life, and now I’m not fired and never pranking again. Edit: wow had no idea this was going to become popular. Thanks for all the awards and stuff guys and thanks for all the kind words. I hope y’all have a good rest of the week :) **EDIT 2** [hey guys Ive been getting a lot of messages about how it went down so I’ll show you a video of basically what happened](https://youtu.be/0H6n1aK0ZSo)   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

TIFU by putting my boss in the hospital

REPOST

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zyhki9/tifu_by_putting_my_boss_in_the_hospital/

zyjok2

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/throwrabil in r/relationship_advice** ---   [**I (27F) think I’m falling in love with my brother in law (26M)**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/hm1y0v/i_27f_think_im_falling_in_love_with_my_brother_in/) - 6 July 2020 My husband Will (28M) and I (27F) have been married for just over a year, and have been together for 4 years total. When COVID lockdown began, Will’s brother Liam (26M) asked if he could come stay with us as his roommate is an essential worker and he is high risk (Crohn’s). Before this, Liam and I knew each other but definitely not well; we’d met probably under 10 times. But since he moved in, we’ve been spending a TON of time together, and alone. My husband is a lawyer so he’s holed up in his office most of the day. Liam and I are both technically still working, but work has kind of dried up for both of us so most of our days is free time. Liam’s been living with us for over 3 months now. The first week Liam moved in, I was struck by how similar we were—much more so than my husband and I are. We have a similar sense of humor, similar interests, and I’d say our overall energy is very similar. He also looks a lot like Will. Except... since we got married, Will has gained about 30 pounds. Liam, on the other hand, is very very VERY fit. You get where I’m going here. I don’t know Liam well enough to know for sure if he’s flirting with me, but it certainly feels like it. He laughs a lot at my jokes, teases me, and drops everything (e.g. hanging up on phone calls with friends) if I suggest we do something together (go to the store, or play a game, whatever). The way he looks at me also feels very affectionate and occasionally intense. We spend a lot of time tanning in the yard or in the pool, so we’re seeing each other half naked a lot. The sexual tension, at least on my end, is through the roof. My sex life with Will has also been flagging, which doesn’t help. We’ve also gotten emotionally close. We have a lot of late night, usually drunk/high talks alone because Will tends to go to bed early. We share a ton of inside jokes. We text, even though we’re in the same house. When I see him/his name on my phone, I get that giddy feeling in my stomach like I do in the early “courtship” stages of a relationship. I guess I didn’t recognize the extent of the problem until last week. On Wednesday night, I had a very vivid sex dream about Liam. I woke up incredibly horny and initiated sex with Will, but was thinking about Liam the whole time. I felt so guilty and disgusting after. Then, on Friday night, we were all drunk and had put on music and were just dancing stupidly. Liam and I kept dancing when Will went to bed, and it got a little heated. We were “jokingly” grinding and rubbing up on each other, except it didn’t really feel like a joke. Since then, I keep having these thoughts of like, what life would be like if I’d met Liam instead of Will first, or what Liam would be like as a husband. I talked to Will today about possibly asking Liam to leave, under the guise of needing more privacy and more space for our relationship. Will was kind of taken aback, since we “get along so well,” and more or less shot down the idea since Liam has nowhere else to go. I feel like I’m dangerously close to having an affair, if what’s happening now doesn’t already count as cheating, and I don’t know what I can do. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks. **Edit:** I woke up to this post having blown up... I’m trying to read every comment but it’s a little overwhelming. To clarify a few points: 1) I don’t know if this really matters, but a lot of comments have glommed onto this point: Liam and I both work, and are both earning our regular salaries right now. I make more money than Will. There’s just less work right now so we have a lot of free time. I may be a shitty person in other ways but the leech narrative is false, sorry. 2) I’m not sure if I want to stay with Will (or if he even wants to stay with me). Our married life has been rocky, even before all this (problems with intimacy, affection, lack of time for each other, lack of communication), which we’ve talked about and tried to address to no avail. Liam reminds me of what Will was like while we were dating, not just physically (I was trying to say this in a comment but was sleepy and it came out jumbled and kind of the opposite of what I was trying to say). But our married life also overlaps significantly with a really chaotic and stressful time in the world and in Will’s work, so I’m not sure if these problems are just temporary. 3) I am NOT considering physically cheating. I’m just afraid that if we’re in the house together all the time, the situation will only worsen (e.g. my feelings get stronger and it becomes harder to cut off). I recognize now that I definitely need to stop getting drunk/high with Liam, but I’m not sure that’ll solve everything. I would appreciate advice on how to cut things off tactfully. 4) I assumed this was par for the course for this subreddit, but the names used here aren’t their real names. I’m clearly shit at coming up with aliases. I’ve booked a therapy session for myself and might just spend the day alone to reflect and really think about what I want. Thank you for taking the time to comment, especially those of you who have been kind.   [**Update: I (27F) think I’m falling in love with my brother in law (26M)**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/hngtk7/update_i_27f_think_im_falling_in_love_with_my/) - 8 July 2020 TLDR: I don’t know what the fuck is going on anymore. God, where do I begin. I spent Monday out of the house and talked to Will on Monday night. I started off thinking I wouldn’t mention Liam, so I was saying stuff about how I missed spending one-on-one, quality time together, and suggested doing a date night next week. He said yeah, he knows, but he’s so busy these days, sorry. I told him about my therapy session, and how the therapist thought it’d be helpful if we did a session together, and that I’d like him to join next time. He was like, “Ohhhh… maybe. Why are you going to therapy?” I told him that’s what I wanted to talk to him about, I’m scared by how I’ve found myself feeling lately, I feel like I’ve started to doubt our marriage, I’m not being the wife I wanted myself to be, etc. He didn’t say anything in response. Against many redditors’ advice and probably my better judgment, I told him I thought I’d developed a bit of a crush on Liam, that’s why I wanted him to leave. I told him about how we kept dancing after he went to bed, and how wrong it felt. I didn’t mention anything about my feelings possibly being reciprocated. He said HE KNEW, he saw it on the Nest cam. I didn’t even know there was a Nest cam in the living room. Then he was like, “honestly, I really don’t care who you fuck. But fucking my brother would be a little awkward for the next family get together.” I … was speechless. I told him I had no intention of fucking his brother, that it was a crush that got out of hand. He didn’t believe me, claimed it was just a matter of time, that he’d been spending more time in the office to “give us space,” whatever that’s supposed to mean… Then he accused me of having sex with a slew of other men: my friends and coworkers, his friends and coworkers, his best friend on our WEDDING DAY (there’s literally video footage of my every move that day?). He didn’t believe me when I denied it, but also said it “doesn’t matter” whether or not it’s true. He kept saying he always knew it was just “a matter of time.” There’s like an hour of this kind of back and forth. Then I asked him if he even wants to work on our marriage. He went, “I’m actually pretty happy right now.” I feel like I can’t even begin to describe this interaction accurately. It was like … talking to a wall or an alien. I told him he’s acting really weird, and asked him again to join me at therapy; he insisted he has nothing to talk to a therapist about. I eventually told him that, if he doesn’t think our marriage needs work right now, then it isn’t a marriage I want to stay in. He goes, “it’s your world baby, I’m just living in it” (?????????). At this point it’s like 4am so I’m like, maybe you’re just so tired you’re delirious, let’s go to bed and pick this back up tomorrow. So this morning (Tuesday) I try to initiate conversation again. He says he has no time, he’s running late to a meeting. He goes to his office and stays in there with the door locked all day. He came out once in like a 14-hour span to grab food and go to the bathroom. Liam also stays in his room all day, so I’m wondering if Will said something to him. I see him briefly around dinner time and apologized for how I acted on Friday night. In the grand scheme of things that conversation was very normal and uneventful. (I said something along the lines of “I think I let the alcohol get to my head and I acted inappropriately, it won’t happen again, sorry.” He was like, “oh yeah, I guess that was a bit much” and retreated back to his room.) I wait in mine and Will’s bedroom. He comes in at 2am and when I try to talk he goes, “babe, do we really have to talk about this right now?” as if I’m just trying to discuss what color to paint our walls or something. I start to cry and for some reason he takes this as a cue to try to initiate sex? I say no, and he starts getting a little pushy and talking about “impregnating” me. So… I got out of bed and now I’ve just been on this couch for the past three hours trying to figure out what the fuck is going on with my marriage. I’m just… more confused than anything. Given the response to my first post, I don’t know if I’m really looking for advice anymore. Just thought maybe writing things down would help me figure shit out, and people have been badgering me for an update. Sorry this wasn’t the ending you all were hoping for. **Edit:** this will be my only edit and only attempt to defend myself because I feel like I’m getting judged based on false assumptions, although maybe it’s my fault for being unclear in the original post. 1) [after reading some comments I’m walking back what I said about emotional cheating, but I’d still like to leave some clarification here for context] I was not confiding in Liam about things that I would normally talk to Will about. When I said “we text,” I meant that we send each other funny things we see on the internet, and not anything that could even remotely be described as intimate. Although we did have several heart to hearts late at night, they’re conversations that I could’ve had with any other close friend (e.g. our ambitions, or our family history) and I would’ve been perfectly comfortable with Will being there. 2) I’m getting a lot of heat for the “grinding.” Maybe the criticism is fair and my moral compass is just totally off, but I don’t think it would’ve been that bad had I not been harboring feelings for Liam. It was the kind of jokey, over-exaggerated grinding you’d do with friends—at no point did my ass or crotch make prolonged contact with Liam. I know for a fact that this type of dancing on its own isn’t a boundary (or at least a clear one) in my relationship with Will because I HAVE SEEN HIM DANCE IN THE SAME WAY with friends when we go out (pre-corona). 3) Fuck all of you who are taking the time out of your day to send me hate [edit: if it’s not clear, I mean people telling me to kill myself and calling me all kinda of names, not those who are leaving actual feedback/advice that are critical of me/my behavior]. Way to kick someone when they’re down. I mean I hope you are as morally inculpable and your lives as perfect as your internet persona might suggest, but the fact that you’re sending anonymous hate indicates that that’s probably not the case.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

I (27F) think I’m falling in love with my brother in law (26M)

INCONCLUSIVE

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zyjok2/i_27f_think_im_falling_in_love_with_my_brother_in/

zyk062

[removed]

Cut my hand open at a bar and Ubered to an urgent care, the bar called an ambulance and today I got the bill

CONCLUDED

minnieboss

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zyk062/cut_my_hand_open_at_a_bar_and_ubered_to_an_urgent/

zykgp0

I'm not the OOP. This was posted by u/nataliecaileen in r/suggestmeabook. Mood Spoiler - >!Short and sweet!< [Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/suggestmeabook/comments/sf8kux/books_for_adults_with_lower_reading_level/) (29 Jan 22) **Books for adults with lower reading level** I haven’t read much at all in my life, but it is a deep desire of mine. Due to some learning disabilities / differences, reading has always been difficult for me so I have generally avoided it despite having an interest in it. But I want to try, so I’m looking for some recommendations. One of the only books I’ve finished in my adulthood was My Side of the Mountain. I really enjoyed the story and I think the reading level was good for me. The length was very digestible. I think I really like wilderness stories but I’m open to other themes as well. I’d love some help finding some other books to try out. I’m guessing somewhere around middle / high school reading level, nothing too long. Thanks! [Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/suggestmeabook/comments/zsxfqj/update_books_for_adults_with_lower_reading_level/) (23 Dec 22) **UPDATE Books for adults with lower reading level** Hi all! Almost a year ago, I made a post on here asking for some book recommendations that might be good for an adult who struggles with reading. I want to say thank you so much for the tremendous amount of responses I received. They were all so kind and helpful to me. There was a lot of folks who asked if I could circle back to update on how my reading journey is going. So here’s the update! I read several books this year! More than I’ve ever finished in my entire life. One of them I even finished in only a few days! I’ve dabbled in different styles & stuff to see what I like and what feels manageable. I’ve had good luck with some memoirs or similar kinds of biographical stories. I’ve had great luck with Steinbeck, as was recommended in several comments, and have gone for a few of his shorter novels. I’ve tried reading and listening to books in all the ways that were suggested and have found them all helpful in one way or another. My biggest achievement was reading Cold Mountain by Charles Frazier, a book I have always wanted to read. It took me all damn year but I read it cover to cover, and loved every minute. Frazier’s descriptions, of the landscapes specifically, are some of the most beautiful, and aching, things I’ve ever heard. I look forward to enjoying other books of his. I’d love more recommendations for similar books & authors if ya got ‘em! I added many of the books suggested to me here to my list, though I haven’t gotten to many of them yet. I’m looking forward to diving into them more. I’ve used the tips & tools suggested here to find books that interest and suit me. There were so many great resources on my original post that were so helpful to me and I hope others found something helpful in them too. I felt nervous and uncomfortable making that post and all who responded filled me with such confidence and hope that I could enjoy reading. Thank you. So much. TLDR: Thanks to this subreddit I’m finally enjoying reading. **Reminder - I'm not the OOP**

OOP discovers the joy of reading!

CONCLUDED

prettiergenghis

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zykgp0/oop_discovers_the_joy_of_reading/

zyl2ib

I AM NOT OP. This is a repost sub. This is not my story or situation. [The original](https://www.reddit.com/r/RBI/comments/waj69x/need_help_identifying_mysterious_buzzer_in_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) was posted in r/RBI July 28, 2022 [The update](https://www.reddit.com/r/RBI/comments/wg1wks/update_to_random_buzzer_noise_in_my_house/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) was posted August 4, 2022 ______ **Need help identifying mysterious buzzer in my house.** There is a strange buzzing noise in my house for the last two weeks. It sounds like one of those buzzers from the 80’s or 90’s. Like an old dryer finishing it’s cycle or the noise when you buzz the front door in an older apartment building to let someone in. The sound lasts around 3 seconds and doesn’t change in tone or volume. It happens once every few days. The first time was 10:00 am and my husband couldn’t hear it in his office. I could hear it in the hallway directly outside of his office door. It’s happened a few random times during the day and he did hear it once so I’m not the only one. Last night the buzzer went off around midnight and it was loud enough to wake us up. We don’t have alarm clocks and our appliances are all fairly new (they play annoying songs rather than buzz). Our smoke detectors and carbon monoxide detectors are also new. We do have an old doorbell chime in the hallway, but ringing the doorbell doesn’t recreate the buzzing sound. An electrician just finished inspecting the attic and checked out the doorbell. He says everything looks fine with the doorbell and no evidence of rodents, no frayed wires, no water in the attic. He did find a black box in the ceiling directly above my husband’s desk. He couldn’t identify it, but we think this was installed when the networking cables were placed last year. Our next steps are to disconnect the doorbell chime and ask the networking company about the box. Other details, we’re located in Canada and our house was built in the 2000’s. Any any idea what’s buzzing? Edit: We’re still thinking that it is either the black box or the doorbell chime. The reason is the layout of our house. We do have a lot of pumps and alarms since we are a rural property with on-site water treatment. However all of that is in an isolated room off of the garage. The room is insulated with a fire rated door. You also have to pass through a mud room before reaching the interior of the house. There’s a small bathroom and a laundry room in this garage zone and we can’t hear any of their sounds within the house. The alarms in this area can be difficult to hear to the point that we added text alerts for the major things. The buzz is crystal clear, not muffled at all. It is loudest in the hallway where we have our bedroom and offices. I have a theory. A tree on our front lawn was struck by lightning about a month ago. Right before it happened the doorbell chimed. It wasn’t a buzz, but it chimed for about 10-20 seconds right before and during the lightning strike. I’m thinking it was damaged in a way that isn’t super obvious to look at. We’ll be replacing the chime today. ~~ Some comments: >Just consider whether the buzzing could possible be non-electric. Water pipes can buzz in some circumstances. High water pressure or valves that are only partially open can be a cause. >I've heard something similar at my home. It is the sump pump kicking on briefly to drain the sump. You're on a slab so you may or may not have one. If you do, poor a bucket of water in it and see if you're hearing it. >Septic tank aerator alarm? ________ **Update to random buzzer noise in my house** Many people had great suggestions and I want to thank you for your help. For context, my house was making an electric buzzer noise. The sound would last 5-10 seconds and it would happen a couple of times per week. There was no discernible pattern and the sound would happen during the day and at night. We hired an electrician to check the attic, we changed an old doorbell chime and we had the pump in our utility room serviced. Unfortunately the noise still happened on Sunday. It was so frustrating since we have spent quite a bit trying to get to the bottom of this. But guys I just figured it out. I was in our bedroom when the buzz happened. It sounded like it was coming from the ensuite bathroom and I ran to see what was happening. There it was, my husband’s Phillips electric razor was clearly moving on the counter and stopped as I entered the room. The light on the handle was still on, but shut itself off a few seconds later. So it’s the razor. Somehow it turns on in short bursts. Time for a replacement. Edit: He usually puts the razor in a drawer after using it which made the sound difficult to pinpoint. Apparently the last few days it has shut itself off while he was using it. There must be a loose connection. ________ I AM NOT OP. THIS IS A REPOST SUB.

OOP needs help identifying a mysterious buzzer noise in her house

CONCLUDED

BarriBlue

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zyl2ib/oop_needs_help_identifying_a_mysterious_buzzer/

zyl9qa

I'm not the OOP. This was posted by u/AcceptableAd6228 in r/trueoffmychest. [Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/zni4w9/my_husband_keeps_comparing_me_to_his_ex/) (16 Dec 22) **My husband keeps comparing me to his ex.** My husband thinks I am his second best choice for a partner. My husband and I were having my husband's parents over to celebrate the announcement of our pregnancy. I went to the bedroom to get the test to show my MIL. This is my first child, but for my husband it will be his second. When I was walking back to the room I heard that they were already engaged in a conversation so I decided to wait for them to finish. MIL said asked husband how he was feeling about being a father to a second child. Husband said that it didn't feel as exciting as the first time. My heart sank. He continued to speak about his ex and how the sparks he felt when she announced they would be parents were not there for this time. This wouldn't be the first time I overheard something like this. I waited for five minutes of silence before re-entering the room as I normally would. Another incident was when we were had sex for the first time. I was a virgin and the only person I have ever slept with is my husband to this day. He is very experienced and has slept with a few other women besides me. During our first time together, I asked him how it felt and once again he mentioned his ex. He said that it was very passionate in normal standards, but compared to the ex it will always be vanilla. His opinion has since changed but this still sits in the back of my mind. I do not understand why he continues to bring her up. Every thing I do she must be mentioned. There have been instances where he has called me her name while drunk. It hurts so much. Am I not good enough to be his wife? It feels like he was made to be with her rather than me. I am the only one getting sparks here. Comments for context - >*You are correct, we do have a bit of an age gap. I am financially stable; if divorce is the path we must take I will not be greatly impacted.* >*I am 24 and he is 32. I wish I saw the red flags sooner, but I was just so caught up on his charm and stupid sense of humor.* [Update 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/zoe8un/update_my_husband_keeps_comparing_me_to_his_ex/) (18 Dec 22) **UPDATE: My husband keeps comparing me to his ex.** This is a quick update. I spoke with my husband last night. I will not be going into much detail about exactly what was said, but the main point is that he agreed to give therapy a try. I showed him this post and a few of the comments that shared their success stories in relationships similar to ours. I want to try for us, but of course this does not mean I am certain about our relationship. He still will not tell me about the split from his ex and that bothers me. We will just find a competent therapist and attend 2-3 sessions together for now, I will also try and invest into private sessions for myself. If he does not put effort into fixing this relationship I will be leaving. There is no point in living life as a rebound wife when I could be the love of someone else's life. He decided it would be best if we had some time to ourselves for a week before we look for a counselor so he is going to be staying with his sister (about 30 minutes away). Thank you for all of the supportive comments. I am hopeful about us. He was my first everything and it would break my heart if I had to leave this marriage, but at the same time I am ready to put myself and my baby first. [Update 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/zsu5eg/i_contacted_my_husbands_ex_behind_his_back/) (23 Dec 22) **I contacted my husband's ex behind his back.** My husband constantly compares me to his ex. I never knew why they split but its been eating me up inside. What if she becomes romantically available and he leaves me for her? What if this man is dangerous? Well, we are on a break right now. During this break I have been reflecting on the relationship. I decided that before therapy I need to know what he is hiding from me with this ex. I messaged her on instagram (husband has her tagged in old pics). I was not sure if she would speak to me but she did. She seems friendly. I'm going to talk to her after work today. I'm a bit worried that this may return back to my husband. I am worried he will not want to work on us if he finds out that I have reached out to her behind his back. But I need to know this, for me and my baby. **Reminder - I'm not the OOP**

OOP's husband keeps comparing her with his ex.

ONGOING

prettiergenghis

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zyl9qa/oops_husband_keeps_comparing_her_with_his_ex/

zyn0az

** I am not OP. Original posts by u/Spookybeagle on r/entitledparents ** [My Entitled Parents Refuse to Respect My Wishes](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/x2et28/my_entitled_parents_refuse_to_respect_my_wishes/) Aug 31 22 I was going to post this in baby bumps but as i kept writing, i realized it belonged here. I will try to keep this concise but i am on mobile, so bear with me, please. I am a 27 y/o f. Married to a 26 y/o m. We are parents to a 2 year old f. I am about 4 months pregnant with my second baby. I had my daughter in March of 2020, so I wasn't allowed any visitors in the hospital and we decided to be safe and not allow any visitors for a couple of months after coming home. My parents HATED this rule we had set, mainly my dad. My dad drove my mom and brother crazy those entire 2 months. They would beg us to let them visit because of how my dad would take his frustration on not seeing my baby out on them. We, of course, did eventually lift our ban on visitors when May was almost over. Which was a whole other can of worms. Now we are pregnant with our second and have moved to a new state. About 16 hours away. I had loved not having visitors during the first 2 months with my first and intend on doing the same with this one. Especially since I will be adjusting to a new way of life. While on a video call with my brother, my mom loudly suggested he visit me in February. They were visiting my grandma and I felt brave enough to shout, "No! I don't want ANY visitors that month, I will either be huge and tired or have just given birth." My mom argued and said I will be adjusting to having a toddler to take care of while caring for my baby so therefore, I will NEED help. My grandma heard this and said "She'll manage, I had to! Remember I had 4 all 2 years or less apart! And I did just fine!" I love my grandma. Well, a few days after the video call, I was talking to my parents on the phone and my dad said "When we are there in February, don't worry, we will stay in a hotel. We will be there to HELP. You don't have to host." Excuse me... WHAT?! I said: "Um, I don't want ANY visitors that month." My dad said, "We will be there to HELP! Even if it means taking S (my daughter) for a day so you can rest." I said, "But I already told (brother) and mom that I don't want ANY visitors." My dad said, "We missed SO MUCH when S was first born, we don't want to miss any of those precious first moments with this one!" Ugh! Reddit. Any suggestions? My husband said we should just not open the door, at all, when they get here. If they want to waste gas and vacation time, then that's their choice. [update: my entitled parents refuse to respect my wishes](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/x2rzp3/update_my_entitled_parents_refuse_to_respect_my/) Aug 31 22 Hoping this works, still on mobile. I spoke to my husband about the post and even gushed about all the commenters who love him. He blushed and feels flattered. I also told him about some of the suggestions that were made and he says they feel rather excessive. He's the type that rather not go to the extreme, especially since some of his siblings are doing that to his dad after his parents divorced, going so far as to "return to sender" anything he sends to their kids. (Christmas and birthday gifts. What happened was between him and mil, the grandkids shouldn't suffer because of it, but that was the parents choice, so we respect it.) He agrees with putting our request in writing so we have physical proof. He doesn't want me sending a mass letter out to people because everyone already knows we don't want visitors and so far my parents are the ONLY ones who disagree with it and plan to visit anyway. I am going to send a long text message to both my parents and brother. I will be clear and concise, and then screenshot it in case they somehow figure out how to delete messages. They are pretty inept with technology, worse than me. I will tell them if they still refuse to respect our wishes, they will be met with locked doors and windows. They will have traveled out for nothing. The will have been warned. I expect my phone to blow up with phone calls and texts. If they start anything, I will post a picture of the message to my fb. As I have been CLEAR AS CRYSTAL on Facebook that I do not want any visitors when this baby is born. One of my cousins agreed wholeheartedly with me. I will update how it goes. Thank you everyone for your support and suggestions. Baby is kicking a lot today as well. So I guess they sense what it going on. Update: this is what I have composed and am about to press send. Pray for my phone. It is about 4 years old, which is pretty old for technology. "Hey guys, In regards to February. If you all are still planning to visit, I request that you cancel those plans. Or postpone them until April. We want to have that time to rest, recover, and bond as a new family of 4. It is our time with our baby. Please respect our wishes. " [New Update: My entitled parents refuse to respect my wishes](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/x3bxcw/new_update_my_entitled_parents_refuse_to_respect/) Sep 1 22 I finally got a reply to the group text I had sent to my parents and brother. I had even sent another text saying: "To be clear, we will not be having visitors in March either." The response came from my mom, which I predicted because more than likely my dad is giving me the silent treatment and my mom is the mediator of the family. Her reply was this: "Just wondering...if this goes for the [in-laws] as well, that live in [my state]. Are you going to keep Grandma MIL and the Aunts and Uncles from there away for a month and a half?! I kind of understand what you are saying but I have a feeling that they will be around after the new Baby is born." My reply: "Everyone knows our wishes, and everyone understands." Her reply: "Ok..." Oh yeah, I have a strong suspicion this is far from over. I know what my mom was trying to do. Update: So I decided to call my parents house phone to see who I would get. My grandma had a bad fall last week, not long after I had sent the message. So my mom had been messaging me and called me with updates on her. So I called to see how everyone was doing in regards to grandma. She is home and well taken care of. My brother answered the phone and was the only one home. As I suspected, my dad is giving me the silent treatment and believes that just because I don't want them here when I give birth, that means I don't want them in my life at all. This is not true. Like being in contact with them but I am doing my best to set boundaries. My brother believes my message was too harsh and I should have been more nice. I said "I was as polite and civil as I could have been. In fact, some people I showed it to beforehand thought I was too soft. So if this is harsh, and I could have been more harsh, than that means I got the message across just fine. How you recieved it is on you, not me." He didn't like the answer and changed the subject. He tried reminiscing about our childhood, which I have mostly blocked out since moving away. He tried to make our dad out to be this wonderful father, which, yeah, he was a decent dad when we were *little*. All he seems to ever talk about in regards to the *good ol' days* with dad are the years I least remember because of how little I was at the time. Well, as updates go. There might be more later on, but I am not sure. My parents are arguing, mostly because of how angry and disappointed he is with me and my mom actually understanding but is bad at standing up to him when she actually agrees with me. She was asking FOR my dad in her reply to my text. Thank you for your patience and your awesome comments! My poor brother is doing his best to stay out of the drama due to stress induced heart problems. We all know where his stress is from. [Update on my entitled parents: my mom and brother live in terror of my dad](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/x8997b/update_on_my_entitled_parents_my_mom_and_brother/) September 7 22 Well, hello again. The fallout of my message to my parents and brother is a bit more dramatic than I would like but how I expected it. Today, I decided to call my mom. My brother had informed me yesterday she was stressing about planning a farewell party for a friend, and I thought I could help her think of easy ways of pulling this off knowing she hates party planning and never knows how to do it so she works herself up about it. I am not much of a party planner either, but I know how to host, despite being introverted. I just like making people happy and have a good time. Anyway, back to the subject at hand. I called my mom, and well, we never got around to discussing the farewell bash for her friend. She was too busy frantically flea bombing her house with borax and wanting to get it all done before my dad got home. According to her and my brother, my dad thinks the flea problem they had been having was a non-issue and the mere fact they wanted to do something about it made him angry. So if he heard they had done something about it or if he came home while they were still doing said thing, he would go into a rage. Hearing this did not surprise me. I was actually surprised at the lack of astonishment I felt. Also, they rushed me off the phone, trying to make it sound like they were just in a hurry to vacuum up the borax and make it look like nothing ever happened. I know it was more than that, as my dad is angry with me and is giving me the silent treatment. The man can hold a grudge, and the sheer fact that we would be communicating would, indeed, make him angry. As I stated in my last update: the man thinks that us not wanting them here in February means we don't want them in our lives at all. We do, if they respect our wishes and boundaries. We live far enough away that it should be simple for them, it should have been simple when we lived closer to them but, whatever. I knew by the panic in their voice, my dad must've let them know he was on his way home. The call ended rather abruptly. Not much of an update, but it just confirms to me even more that my dad is definitely the more problematic one, not that I needed that much of a confirmation to begin with. [Just thought I'd Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/xzm3fv/just_thought_id_update/) Oct 9 22 So some stuff has happened since my last post. My parents are still trying to make me feel guilty for not wanting visitors but so far haven't made any insinuations that they are going to break the boundary. They have been sending us gifts, mainly for our daughter, which is nice. They think we need government aid because I let slip that money is tight at the moment and we're on a strict budget. We see the end of this period coming soon though, but right now we have to be more creative and pay more attention to where our money goes. I have explained this to them, but no, they think we are about to be homeless or something. Just because we can't afford to buy steaks or pot roast or have meat with every meal. Good heavens. I have repeatedly told them this is temporary. My dad said "this seems to happen often." I told him that it's part of life and a lot of the times, it's our own fault. They threatened to sign up FOR US. We don't want that. We are fine. And I can see them holding it over us because they're "gifts" are always conditional. We found out we're having a baby boy!! So now we will have one of each! I have decided to wait a bit longer after this baby to have another one. We don't want A LOT of kids but we do want more than 2. My parents are thrilled. My mom most of all. She wasn't even close to this enthusiastic when we learned our daughter would be a girl. She wouldn't even believe the ultrasound and kept trying to convince me to doubt it. Of course, she denies all of this. It's quite unsettling to see how enthusiastic my family is about us having a boy when it wasn't as close for a girl. They love their granddaughter, but still. It's hard to see. My grandma warned me over the phone when I called her to tell her the news, which she had already heard from my parents; she would not be surprised if my mom made her way out here in February all by herself just to see her new grandson. Sad thing is, I wouldn't be surprised either. I will try to update if there are more developments. And of course, I will update in February when our boy makes his arrival. Thank you all for comments and following this series! [A new update](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/zlx4sm/a_new_update/) Dec 14 22 Hello everyone! Just thought I'd give a new update on my Entitled Parents Who Wouldn't Respect My Boundaries. Well, I am now 8 months pregnant, hard to believe, it feels like only yesterday I was finding out I was pregnant during one of the most stressful times of my life. I.E. moving halfway across the country. Yup, found out the very same month I was moving. It's a miracle we have made it this far without any major complications. Pregnancy is going well, both baby boy and I are healthy. We had a bout of placenta previa, but that has thankfully resolved itself. Now for my parents. They have been sending us Aldi gift cards to help us with our groceries since I refuse to ask for government assistance. My conservative parents still insisting on that... oh the irony. But hey, who am I to turn down a gift card to have part of my groceries paid for me? Especially at this time of year. They seemed to have relaxed about the whole visiting thing and told me they definitely plan to visit in April. Funny though, my dad made it sound like a threat when he confirmed that they would be here in April. Like, okay....? My mom keeps trying to compare my pregnancy to her pregnancy with me. She had gallbladder problems. I do not have any issues with my gallbladder. We are not the same. My parents are also offended on my behalf that my husband is offering to help me get back into shape after I recover from giving birth. Something I actually WANT TO DO. He knows I want to exercise so I can get fit and keep up with our soon to be 2 young children under the age of 4. I know babies aren't active until they are at least 6 months old at the earliest, but I do have a toddler as well. Plus, he intends to stay with the kids while I go to the gym. This was something we mutually discussed and agreed upon. Yet all my parents (mainly my mom) heard was that my husband thinks I will get fat right after giving birth and find me unattractive. *Cue aggressive eye rolling here* So, now that my parents know the baby will be a boy, they have been pestering me about names. Hubs and I found a name we like but we are not ready to reveal it yet. My dad keeps trying to convince me to name my son after him. I don't like my dad's name and also, having someone named after you should be an honor and a privilege, right? He just won't get it. He also seems to hate that my husband is picky about names and doesn't just want to go with any name I had suggested. Like, my husband shouldn't get veto power since I am the one carrying the baby. "He should love the name because it will be his baby's name." Yes, but he should get the chance to agree on the name and like the name before it's his kid's name. So fun. My family is so entertaining from far away. If I do not update again before February, I will post when lil guy gets here. Happy Holidays everyone! Editor's Note: marking as ongoing because OOP said she'd update at least once when the baby arrives. You may find more backstory below. I didn't want to include these in an already-long post, but they do add a deeper understanding. Tangentially Related Posts: Before the current post series, back story into how OOP's family reacted with first child: [AITA for not wanting my parents to babysit my daughter?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/l08vx3/aita_for_not_wanting_my_parents_to_babysit_my/) Jan 18 21 [My dad creeps my daughter out](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOFAMILY/comments/ljrzfv/my_dad_creeps_my_daughter_out/) Feb 14 21 After the current post series, further problems with OOP's brother: [AITA for lecturing my older brother after he told his boss I was pregnant?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zm3p84/aita_for_lecturing_my_older_brother_after_he_told/) Dec 14 22 ** Reminder: I am not the Original Poster. **

My Entitled Parents Refuse to Respect My Wishes

ONGOING

swtogirl

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zyn0az/my_entitled_parents_refuse_to_respect_my_wishes/

zyorqf

Alison’s advice is provided at each link. [First Post](https://www.askamanager.org/2022/01/is-our-intern-just-clueless-and-inexperienced-or-a-con-artist.html) [Update Post](https://www.askamanager.org/2022/03/updates-the-ominous-recruiter-the-clueless-intern-and-more.html) (Number 2) First post text: I am a mid-level engineer at a small (70-80 employees) tech company. We frequently host undergrad interns from a local university. Some were during the summer, and some were during the school year. These were all paid, full-time internships that lasted for 12 weeks. The past interns all had a great attitude and work ethic, and there were no issues with any of them. However, the most recent intern I’m managing is demonstrating an alarming pattern of behavior, which is causing me to question his integrity. I am having a hard time differentiating whether he is acting maliciously, or whether he is simply clueless about professional norms. • Apparently falsifying his time sheet. He retroactively edited an already-submitted time sheet from several weeks ago, adding an extra six hours. When I emailed him to ask for an explanation, he never answered. • Under the state’s labor law, the company was forced to pay him an extra seven hours, because he committed meal break violations (logging an excessively short break, or no break at all, due to allegedly reading emails during lunch) on seven separate days. These infractions happened despite HR having several talks with him about the matter. The HR lady sent me an exasperated email that he has committed more time sheet violations than all the past interns combined, and that she “simply cannot see why he doesn’t get it.” • Several times, he showed up on a day he was not scheduled to work, after learning that lunch was provided at an on-site seminar. He barged into the conference room halfway through the seminar, grabbed a ton of food, and left a few minutes later. • The week before Christmas, two of the company’s founders (President and CTO) treated a different department to lunch each day. When it was our turn, everyone ordered a $14 to $17 lunch entree and one alcoholic beverage. My intern ordered a $50 ribeye steak from the dinner menu and 2 alcoholic beverages. Our founders are some of the most patient, kind, and tolerant individuals I’ve ever known (almost to the point of being doormats), so they didn’t react in any way • During the first week of his internship, the HR lady invited him to take a T-shirt and sweatshirt as part of onboarding. He ended up taking nearly half of the shirts in the pile, causing a lot of other employees to miss out. I am perplexed by this intern’s audacity. On one hand, someone who intends to exploit, rip off, and take advantage of others would not make their behavior this obvious. But on the other hand, the sheer frequency of incidents tells me that these are not accidental. Is this intern a true con artist, or just innocently clueless about how to conduct himself in a professional environment? I honestly cannot tell. [Alison’s Advice](https://www.askamanager.org/2022/01/is-our-intern-just-clueless-and-inexperienced-or-a-con-artist.html) [Update Post](https://www.askamanager.org/2022/03/updates-the-ominous-recruiter-the-clueless-intern-and-more.html) (Number 2) Update text: I had a talk with the intern. He appeared contrite and apologetic, but didn’t really have an explanation for the suspicious Time Sheet entries. He claimed he forgot to record those lunch breaks, and that he suddenly remembered that he spent 6 hours reading papers one weekend. With HR present, I told him, “Everyone makes mistakes, but when there are this many Time Sheet discrepancies, it doesn’t look good. We’re not accusing you of acting maliciously, but it does create the impression of dishonesty and gaming the system. The same goes for taking dozens of T-shirts, when you were invited to take one or two. Think about how these behaviors might cause you to be perceived, so that you don’t keep putting yourself in situations where your professionalism will be doubted.” He seemed to get it. Quite some time passed without another incident. I was starting to feel confident that we could put these issues in the past, and focus on science and engineering for the remainder of his internship. Tragically, his improved conduct did not last. He logged two more lunch break violations (the 8th and 9th) and then I saw him in the breakroom on a Friday afternoon, stuffing all the snacks and plastic cups into a duffel bag, before slipping out the door. Enough was enough. I scheduled a meeting with HR and 3 members of the C-Suite (our company is small enough for that). Everyone was aware of all that had happened. My intern also wasn’t making satisfactory progress in his work, and I was also struggling to keep up with my tasks because of all the time spent monitoring his behavior. HR suggested we terminate the intern, but the C-Suite felt there was no need to go that far. They said that as a 21 year-old undergrad, that would destroy his confidence, and that “Years from now, he will look back and be ashamed of his shenanigans. That will be his punishment. One day, he might even reach out to you and say, ‘OP, I’m so sorry for the way I acted when I was a dumb kid.’” Even though they don’t believe in firing people, they recognized that the internship wasn’t working out. This student clearly was not ready for the professional world, despite having a lot of extracurricular activities and better grades than the past interns. The C-Suite decided that he would spend the rest of his internship attending workshops and classes on professional norms. They felt that this was the best compromise: I could focus on my work. The intern would receive a clear message that his behavior needed to improve, without enduring actual punishment. In a month, he would be going back to school, and HR would no longer have to deal with him. Although I would have disciplined the intern more harshly if the decision were mine, I consider the matter resolved. Thank you Alison, and everyone else who shared their insights and experiences with this rookie manager! [Update Link #2](https://www.askamanager.org/2022/03/updates-the-ominous-recruiter-the-clueless-intern-and-more.html)

is our intern just clueless and inexperienced — or a con artist?

EXTERNAL

Desperate_Feeling_11

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zyorqf/is_our_intern_just_clueless_and_inexperienced_or/

zypwar

Originally posted by u/Throwthembothaway94 in r/TrueOffMyChest on Oct 9, '22. Update within the same post but undated. I have changed the initials to fake names for easier reading. [Original post ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/xzhbax/i_ghosted_my_husband_after_i_caught_him_messaging/) I ghosted my husband after I caught him messaging my best friend Hi. I would just like to say that I am currently very overwhelmed and just looking for someone to vent to, so yeah, bear with me with spelling and grammar and all. I’m also going to skimp on a lot of details because I know that they both on reddit regularly and I hate them and I don’t want them to know I even made this post- not yet. So a little back story. I met my bestfriend when I was in middle school. My parents were going through a divorce and I had started getting bullied at school. My bestfriend, lets call her H (Hannah) for homewrecker. Hannah stood up for me one day when things had gotten really bad at home and I was just letting the kids at school torture me because I couldn’t deal. Since that day, I have looked at her as some sort of guardian angel. She was smart, pretty, an all around it girl and she wanted to be friends with me. Hannah and I had decided to go to the same college and when we both got accepted? We were over the moon. And it’s here where I meet my husband. I didn’t do so well on my finals and Hannah decided she was going to take me out to cheer me up and celebrate the end of the sem. We went to this bar that a lot of people from my college ho to. We had a few or so drinks before Hannah’s bf called to let her know he was there and she went to meet him out front. That was when my husband Luke came and sat next to me. He sparked up a convo and we had real just hit it off, I mean we talked for the rest of the night and by 3 am he was asking for my number so we can go out another time. Now I hadn’t really dated- a few flings and hook ups here and there- but he was the first person I felt like I wanted to get serious with. He funny, smart, handsome, a bit older than me but so easy for me to relate to. It wasn’t long before we actually did get serious. We blended our friends groups and started hanging out all together which is when I had first noticed Luke and Hannah had started getting close. I had thought nothing of it at the time. In fact, I was so happy that the two people I valued so much were getting along so well but now I feel like a complete moron. I don’t even think I could’ve seen it coming I mean we moved in together after a year and she had a long term boyfriend. But anyway we got married after 3. In total he and I have been together for 11 yrs !!! Our entire lives were blended. We have the same friends! We share an apartment! We adopted a cat! I just can’t wrap my head around this. I literally only found those messages because my computer died and I couldn’t find my charger and he left the tab open. They were messaging on FACEBOOK. My husband doesn’t use Facebook!! I was in a daze for months. At first I couldn’t believe it. His fucking password on his laptop is my birthday! I make fairly good money at my job and I knew I couldn’t stay with him. So I waited, I started looking for a new job and saved for entire year. I’m sure he didn’t notice how distracted and distant I was because he was too busy fucking my bestfriend. I finally found a new place and immediately made plans for me and my cat to bounce. I took as much as I could in my car while he was at work and drove a whole 2 hours away to my new apartment. I’ve been so busy just trying to figure out me that I hadn’t actually had a moment to actually take it all in. I’m so angry. It’s 3 am and I’m supposed to be enjoying a long awaited break but I’m just so so so angry. I’m feeling so much right now and it hurts. If they wanted to be together they could’ve just left me out of it. Why now? Why not 8 years ago. Why marry me if you so clearly wanted her? Why marry another man if you wanted your bestfriends boyfriend? Why continuously lie and betray me but smile in my face as if you both love me? I’ve blocked the both of them for now and I know I’m going to have to eventually tell Hannah’s husband because he’s such a good person and he doesn’t deserve this but I know I’m just not in my right mind right now. Edit: So uh hi? Oh my fucking god. I did not expect my dysfunctional breakdown rant to go viral on tiktok? I was never planning on coming back to this page but now I feel like I kinda need to lol. So first of all I would like to clarify a few things. I was completely done with Luke and Hannah when I found the messages. Specifically because remember when I said I was getting bullied in middle school? Yeah it was because my whore of a father got caught having an affair with one of the teachers at my school and her daughter just so happened to be in my grade. I got to witness the destruction of my own family and then bare the punishment of what happened to the other family he destroyed. And my mom stayed with him. Despite it not being the first or last time. She quit her job and spent all her time trying to keep a man that just wanted to hurt her. So yeah. I will never forgive or have any sympathy for a cheater. And for those of you wondering? My dad is a narcissist and he did ruin any relationship I could have had with any of my other family because they “didn’t like him.” So that’s why I didn’t have anywhere to go, he was so bad that no wants anything to do with me or my mom. As for what I had planned to do to Hannah & Luke? I was collecting evidence for a whole year and he had become more reckless as he thought he was in the clear. My soon to be ex husband has been trying to get to me since he came home (left my wedding and engagement ring on the island). He’s been messaging me through social media for quite some time begging me to “hear him out.” Perfect. I need you all to understand that Hannah’s husband would chop off his own balls if it meant making Hannah happy. I had to have more than incriminating messages. So I went to my husband and told him that if he told me everything I would consider going to couples counseling (I was lying my ass off). But he did and I’m not sure how much I believe because he’s clearly a liar. He claims they’ve been hooking up since the beginning of 2019. Which is when we had a really rough patch because he wanted to try for a baby. I was so confused because we had both wanted to be child free up until that point. He had really been pushing it and I really didn’t want to especially with the virus! Now that I think on it. It makes sense. He was literally trying to trap me. Everything is in his name because I was building my credit. I would be forced to stay with him even if he got caught. But anyways I’m going to be taking this confession I recorded straight to Hannah’s husband with all the print outs of FB messages. I will also be making a big group chat for all the family and friends to see! Here’s to fucking with the wrong bitch!!! 🥂 Update: So it’s been a hot second since I’ve been on here and I do have a lot to say. It’s only been like a month and since I decided to talk to Hannah’s husband SHIT HIT THE FAN. I finally found the nerve to go and talk to Hannah’s husband after talking to a friend who had visited town. She helped me see that it would be easier to tell him and be there for him bc I didn’t get that when I found out. I went to his house at the time I knew Hannah wouldn’t be home. He was surprised to see me bc, and get this, Hannah told him that we had a huge fight bc she told my husband THAT I WAS CHEATING ON HIM. I forgot to mention that Hannah’s husband- I’m going to start calling him Adam- is actually pretty close to Luke. So she told him I moved basically bc i was a coward that was too scared to face my actions. LAUGHABLE IK. Well I told Adam what really happened, showed him all of my proof and he thought I was lying. She told him I would try this bc I was jealous of her and what she had with him. I didn’t want to show him that recording- I really did not because i know hearing my husband say it was like salt in the wound. I will never forget the heartbroken look in his eyes when he looked up at me. I’ve never seen him cry but he cried for over 3 hours. He then told me about all of the shit she was talking about me to all of our friends. She has been for years apparently but as of late he said she talked about me like a bitch off of the street. Then he told me that she was most likely jealous of me bc he had admitted to her in high school that he found me attractive. She never said anything about this to me ever and she has absolutely nothing to worry about bc i would never have done that. Also he said it was just an innocent crush and he never even thought of acting on it but he told her bc they were trying this open communication thing in their relationship bc HANNAH HAD GOT CAUGHT CHEATING and basically gaslighted him into thinking it was his fault. She told him she felt like she could never talk to him about anything and she felt like he was getting to close to me. I found that weird bc 1. We have never been close 2. She never told me anything. But according to Adam, Hannah is so insecure in her relationship about ME. She thinks that he and I are the perfect couple. We have nothing in common other than us both being black. So not only is she a lying cunt, but she’s a lying RACIST cunt. I went home sort of in a daze. I honestly did not know how to feel about any of that. A small part of me was begging Hannah to have a reason for hurting me this way. Like maybe I did something to hurt her and she never told me. But NOPE I have nothing to do with that. She just did this because she could. I had been sulking over that these past few days and then yesterday I get a call from the hospital. I was lost bc why would the health center be calling me. At first I thought it was a scam but they left me a voicemail and the rest of this will be a story will be a retelling from my ex :). Apparently Adam went to my house a day or so after I met with him. He came banging on the door and first punched my ex in the face and then Adam told Luke that he didn’t deserve me. After that Adam proceeded to tell him that he and I were now dating and that we were going to be celebrating being without them at a skii resort come Christmas ( Luke’s favorite thing to do on his birthday in December). Luke just let him do that and apologized to him the whole time… but after he went to his room and swallowed a whole bunch of pills and woke up in an ambulance. He tired to kill himself but someone had called 911 (I assume that the neighbors called bc of the commotion w/ Adam). But now he’s on suicide watch at the hospital. Now I want to specify that I will not be getting back with my husband ever in this lifetime. He broke my trust in a way that is irredeemable way and I don’t want to be with someone I can’t trust with my heart. However, as of now I am trying to be there for him. I might hate him but I also still love him so much for a reason I can’t explain. I am still going to be divorcing him but as of right now I just need him to be alive and okay. Beyond that, I have since exposes Hannah to all of our her friends and family. She called me 30 times one day! And sent me a FLOOOOD of messages. She’s switched between begging me to talk to her and telling me I ruined her life and she hates my guts. To saying I ruined our friendship over a man and blah blah blah. Girl you’re delusional and I don’t care. And since I know you’re going to see this post just like the last- I’m way prettier, kind, hardworking, and more compassionate than you’ll ever be. Luke went to you because you made yourself available. Your husband wanted me because you are too much of a selfish, raging bitch to treat him with like your boyfriend and not your door mat. You are a coward, a user, and an evil person. I’m not to block you because I enjoy watching you spiral in my messages but you really need to seek help !!

Woman Discovers Her Husband Is Cheating With Her Best Friend (TOMC Oct 9, '22)

CONCLUDED

KittenDealinMama

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zypwar/woman_discovers_her_husband_is_cheating_with_her/

zyslbg

[removed]

Help finding post

EXTERNAL

bumblebee1583

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zyslbg/help_finding_post/

zyt015

**I am not OOP. OOP is** [u/Miss\_RealRed](https://www.reddit.com/user/Miss_RealRed/). She posted in r/AmItheAsshole. I changed the letters into actual names for readability. Your daily fun fact to avoid mobile spoilers: u/TheDerpyPanda333 requested red pandas. Red pandas make many sounds, including quacking sounds (like ducks.) They also have six digits on their front paws. (A fun fact about me- I was born with six fingers on my right hand. Maybe I'm part red panda.) ([Source](https://redpandanetwork.org/post/15-Fantastic-Facts-about-Red-Pandas)) **Mood Spoiler:** >!Sisters work things out at least a bit!< **Original** [Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zsoic7/aita_for_altering_my_mums_wedding_dress/)**: December 22, 2022** This story involves me (27f) my sister Abby (31f) and my mum (60f). I’m getting married next year to my wonderful fiancé, we are very happy and exited. My mum has a beautiful wedding dress that I have always loved, and so has Abby. We have both always said we would love to wear it one day, and mum has always said we both could. Abby is single, she really wants to find someone, get married and have a family and I want that for her too, I want her to be happy and she will be an amazing mum. I know she is happy for me getting married, but she privately said to my mum how difficult she was finding it that I was getting married before her. So I ask mum if I can wear her dress (Abby was there), she says yes as she had said all along I could. However I am a lot shorter than my mum and sister, I also have a bigger bust. So the dress needs to be altered to fit me. I spoke to a seamstress and asked if it could be done in a reversible way. She said the bust could be taken back in, as she will out in a panel (or something similar) but even if the hem is turned up and pinned, wearing it all day will likely damage it, she doesn’t think it can be let back down. I rang mum after to check if this was ok, and she said yes. So I went ahead and told the seamstress to do it. Well clearly mum told Abby about it, because she rang me up screaming at me that I had ruined the dress and that she was promised it by mum, I’m a horrible sister, being selfish and stealing this from her. She finished the call by telling me not to contact her and hung up, I was so shocked I didn’t say anything, but have been carrying on and off the last 2 days. she’s said she won’t come to Christmas is I’m there. I don’t want to cause problems with my family. I’m sorry my sister is sad about the dress, but I don’t know what else I could have done, she was there when I asked about the dress and didn’t say anything, it was obvious it would need to be shortened, and it’s still mums dress and she gave it the green light. Everyone is pissed at me because my sister has pulled out of Christmas, my fiancé says I did nothing wrong. Am I TA here? Edit: wow the comments are split! But this has made me realise ultimately I have f\*\*ed up on this. I rang the seamstress to ask if she has started working in the dress yet (this all happened in the last 2 weeks) and she hasn’t, so I told her to stop, don’t do anything to the dress yet. I’m going to ring my sister, hopefully she picks up, and let her know that nothing has happened yet and hopefully talk it through with her and apologise for not calling her when I called mum. I’ll update when I have tried to talk to her. ***Relevant Comment:*** *About the dress:* "Thank you so much for the detail in your comment. Between you and several other seamstress that have commented on here, I definitely need to take it to someone else. I know basically nothing about clothing alterations so just took the seamstress word for it, and that’s on me, thankfully she hadn’t started yet! The dress is made of silk and it’s ball gown style, it’s does have a bit of a train, it’s also got off the shoulder straps and not big puffy sleeves like most dresses from the 80’s. There are some silk roses on the dress that match the headband and veil. I say it’s obvious it needs to be shortened is because my mum and sister are 5”6 and I’m 5”1 so there is a big height difference. Still trying to get hold of my sister as I said in my edit." ***OOP's post is voted NAH per the top comment, though many comments were mixed.*** **Update (Same Post): December 23, 2022** I finally managed to speak to my sister, we had a long talk and it’s got better and more messy at the same time. Turns out my mum told her I just went ahead and did the alterations, not that I called her and she okayed it. So we are both very pissed at mum right now, she said she would come for Christmas but it’s going to be icy. I apologised for not calling her to let her know about the alterations. She also said sorry for screaming at me and after a while admitted she’s having a hard time seeing me get married before her, but did acknowledge that it was her issue not mine. She said if I wanted to wear the dress I should. As far as the dress goes. I have no idea what to do. It’s a beautiful gown but all this has really ruined the sentiment for me right now. If I do decide to go ahead and wear it, I’m taking on all of the advice and going to see several other seamstresses first, but I may just get a new dress instead. Also some of the comments and private said some really horrible stuff about my sister and that’s not ok. Thank you for the judgements and feedback. **I marked this as ongoing as OOP hasn't decided if she's going to wear the dress, and there's still issues with mom...**

AITA for altering my mums wedding dress?

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LucyAriaRose

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zyt015/aita_for_altering_my_mums_wedding_dress/

zyu68b

Trigger warning: narcissistic behavior, harassment [ORIGINAL : AITA for making my parents choose between me and my ex/former friend?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zqelpn/aita_for_making_my_parents_choose_between_me_and/) by u/aitaparentex (December 20, 2022) I was best friends with Jen from preschool through 9th grade. Her home life was was pretty rough and she practically lived at my house. My parents called her the daughter they never had. When we were in 9th grade, I asked her out. It took some convincing but she eventually said yes. She broke up with me over text the day after our date. She barely went to school, didn’t text, and wasn’t at my house at all the next few weeks. She eventually showed up at my house in the middle of the night. My parents took her in no questions asked then she left in the middle of the night a few weeks later. I admit I didn’t love having her around and didn’t make it easy on her but her leaving was hard on everybody. My parents had to go to therapy. Last year I moved out for college but I was still planning on coming to visit. A few months after I moved out, Jen showed up at my parents house pregnant and with a baby. They took her in again then called me and my brothers asking how we feel about her staying with them. My brothers were ok with it but I can’t forgive her for what she did a few years ago. My parents let her stay anyways but said they had conditions on her staying with them like her going to therapy and either enrolling in college or getting a job. I told them I still wasn’t okay with it. We argued a bit and I told them I wouldn’t visit if she was living there. She’s still there and I held true to my word and I haven’t visited since. They’re trying to get me to come for Christmas but I won’t be there if Jen is living there. They’re calling me petty and saying I need to forgive her but I think I have a right to be upset. [OOP keeps claiming that Jen ran away multiple times in the night from the family home.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zqelpn/comment/j0xuyu4/) [When asked what OOP did to make Jen run away, since he himself mentioned that he made life difficult for Jen when she was staying at their house, OOP evades the question. He only mentions once that he did not rape her, but doesn't deny or acquiesce to the question of assault and harassment.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zqelpn/comment/j11yxrg/) *OOP was deemed an asshole.* [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/user/aitaparentex/comments/zt7q14/update_aita_for_making_my_parents_choose_between/) (December 23, 2022) I know my original post was only a couple days ago but a lot has happened since then. My parents chose Jen. I am no longer welcome at their house and they will not be paying for my college anymore. They will text me to let me know when I can pick up my stuff. My brothers are also on their side. I asked my oldest brother to borrow his truck to pick up my stuff and he told me to fuck off. My middle brother has a spare bedroom but is refusing to let me stay with him, even if I pay rent. I’m probably going to have to drop out of my school and get a job, maybe take night classes at a community college. Now, some questions from the original post. I am 20, Jen is 18, maybe 19 (she went to school a year early). I was 14 and she was 13 when she ran away. Jen keeps showing up at my parents house because they keep proving that they’ll be a safety net for her and all of her bad choices. Jen ran away out of fear of retaliation from her parents, and nobody knows exactly where she went (she says she moved around a lot but doesn’t say where she went).

AITA for making my parents choose between me and my ex/former friend? + UPDATE

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red_earaches

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zyu68b/aita_for_making_my_parents_choose_between_me_and/

zyulmn

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WIBTA the asshole for moving away from my disabled boyfriend?

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dixmcgee69

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zyulmn/wibta_the_asshole_for_moving_away_from_my/

zyw7x5

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My family is about to come to an end, and I dont know what to do

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[deleted]

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zyw8k0

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My family is coming to an end, and I dont know what to do

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zyw8k0/my_family_is_coming_to_an_end_and_i_dont_know/

zz1yck

I'm not the OOP. This was posted by u/IGrandma632 in r/amitheasshole. Trigger Warning - >!infidelity!< Mood Spoiler - >!unsatisfactory with a Shyamalan twist!< [Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zmxx8w/aita_for_being_upset_that_i_wont_see_my_grandkid/) (16 Dec 22) **AITA for being upset that I won't see my grandkid for Christmas and calling out my daughter** I need an outsider opinion. I (46F) have been having problem with my daughter Sara (24). It began when she eloped with her husband three years ago, me and my husband were really sad that we couldn't see her get married or even know about it until it was over. We were sad but got over it, it was her day and if she didn't want anyone there then that was that. We talk on the phone or met up at least ever week so it was a huge suprise. Then they moved down two states, its would be a trip to visit so we still talk on the phone more instead of visits. So for holidays we would visit or they would visit. This year at Thanksgiving she brought a surprise, her son Dave (1 month). I didn't even know she was pregnant, we talked all the time and nothing. Again was sad we missed such a large milestone in her life but didn't say anything. We were happy to met the grandbaby. I called today to ask about what they wanted me to bring out for the baby for the Christmas visit, the old baby bed and whatnot. Sara told me that they will not be coming up for Christmas, I asked if we were going down this year? She said no that just nuclear family for Dave's first christmas. I asked if we could facetime christmas morning or that day to see Dave and there tree and she said no. After that conversation I talked to my husband We are both sad again and tired of missing milestones in Sara's life, I sent Sara a text that me and her dad are going to take a step back. (Low contact). She called and asked what this was about, I told her and it broke into an argument. That it is her life and she can do what she wants with her kid and so on. I told her she clearly doesn't want us involved in her life and we are stepping out for now. She called me an ass. So AITA here? I need a second opinion #Verdict - Asshole. [Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ztr4dv/update_aita_for_being_upset_that_i_wont_see_my/) (24 Dec 22) **Update: AITA for being upset that I won't see my grandkid for Christmas and calling out my daughter** I took everyone's advice and it has been a long week for the family. I gave her a call after a lot of people asked me to reach out again and asked her straight up what she wanted, did she want us out of her life, what is going on and to please be honest. She was quiet for a bit and hung up after saying give her some time. I thought that was the end of it and she would reach out later or never. Well on Monday she showed up at our house after a 8 hour drive. Sara sat both of us down and told the full story what was going on. She was happy with eloping and just didn't want to spend money on a wedding (we knew this one). For the baby, she was never pregnant. Her husband cheated on her and got another women pregnant. Sara found out about 2 months before the kid was born. She didn't tell us because Sara knew we would tell her to leave him (100 percent true). She wanted to fix the marriage and in doing that she kept it a secret so her husband wouldn't get any backlash. She told us the only reason they were able to met Dave was due to biomom dropping the kid off so she could visit her family across the country, there is no custody agreement. It's been a huge mess on there end and the marriage is rough at the moment. Sara was planning to go to Christmas at our place at the beginning and explain the situation but Dave would be with biomom and husband didn't want the secret out. So when we called her saying we were going to take a step back Sara was very upset. She thought she was losing her family over a secret to protect her husband. Her husband didn't help since he never had close family so he didn't understand why she was upset. Sara and her husband got in a huge argument about the whole thing ordeal. When I called again she already made up her mind that she will be telling us and going to Christmas at our house. She took time off and drove down and will stay for Christmas. She doesn't know what she will due with her husband and if she will try to fix it or leave. She did tell us to stay out of it since she wants her decision to 100 percent on her. We will respect that even though we are hoping she leaves him for this stunt. Thank you everyone that commented on the last post, you had some great advice and made us really think what was going on. **Reminder - I'm not the OOP**

AITA for being upset that I won't see my grandkid for Christmas and calling out my daughter.

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prettiergenghis

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zz1yck/aita_for_being_upset_that_i_wont_see_my_grandkid/

zz3h5t

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What's the best way to disassemble raspberries?

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Ill_Lion_7286

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zz3h5t/whats_the_best_way_to_disassemble_raspberries/

zz3i6c

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What's the best way to disassemble raspberries?

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Ill_Lion_7286

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zz3i6c/whats_the_best_way_to_disassemble_raspberries/

zz4ng0

**I am NOT OP. Original post by** u/MostlyGruntled **in** r/idontworkherelady ## [Part 2/2 Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zz4nj6/part_22_an_absolutely_riveting_saga_of_david_vs/) * This is a long but absolutely entertaining tale partly attributable to OOPs exceptional writing style. * Reposting this epic tale as BORU members have increased exponentially since this was last posted. mood spoilers: >!Last update of OOP is unexpectedly sad & devastating!< ## Part 1/2 [**ORIGINAL - "Do you know who I am" and "you're fired" until they realised their terrible mistake. + UPDATES 1 to 8**](https://www.reddit.com/r/IDontWorkHereLady/comments/dlfr3e/do_you_know_who_i_am_and_youre_fired_until_they/) \- 22nd October 2019 Firstly this didn't happen to me. I was with the person when they received a phone call about this issue. Then he explained it all to me. He's not on Reddit so I'm sharing it. It's priceless. All names changed to protect personal and company identities Listed buildings - Important to the story. In the UK there is a system for preserving ancient and important buildings. If a building has historical importance it is known as a "Listed building" and the rules about how it's developed/maintained/improved are VERY strict. I need to be vague about the work involved otherwise it's too easy to identify the parties involved. My friend David is skilled in a very niche area of construction. He repairs and renovates buildings using a very old construction method that hasn't been common for several centuries. All his work is on conservation projects and "listed buildings". Work was required on a Grade 1 listed property. The overall building work was being done my the main contractor ACC Ltd. One part of the work is VERY specialized. The contractors managers didn't know anyone who did it so the architect gave them a list of qualified people. The contractors chose my friend because he had the earliest availability. 5 days into the work the owner of ACC Ltd, the main contractor company, arrived on site. He was throwing his weight around and being a "noisy gobshite" (David's words). David was just doing his job and ignored him. Noisy gobshite told one of his carpenters to get him a coffee. The carpenter disappeared. Noisy gobshite continued wandering and "gobbing off" about delays "costing him a fortune". 15 minutes after the carpenter had disappeared the Noisy Gobshite asked my friend a question. Noisy Gobshite : "Where is that fucking chippy with my coffee?" (Chippy=carpenter) David: "Don't know" Noisy Gobshite: "Go and find out" David: "I'm only here for this job (pointing to the walls) I don't work for ACC Ltd" Noisy Gobshite: "I don't give fuck whether you're an employee or a subcontractor, you still work for me. Now go and find my fucking coffee" David: "Firstly, I don't appreciate being talked to like that and secondly, my contract with you is to do these walls, nothing more. I'm definitely not a gopher" Noisy Gobshite : "Oh, you don't appreciate being talked to like that, do you? Which subcontractor do you work for?" David: "None. I'm self employed. It's just me" Noisy Gobshite : "A fucking day labourer? And you've got the nerve to talk to like that? Do you know who I am?" David: "Yep" Noisy Gobshite : "Well you're fucking fired. Get off the fucking site NOW!" David: "Ok, put it in writing" Noisy Gobshite : "Fuck off. Just get off the fucking site" David pulled his phone out and started recording. David: "Ok, I'll go. I just want proof you told me to go" Noisy Gobshite grabbed David's hand holding the phone and screamed into the phone Noisy Gobshite : "GET OFF THE SITE YOU FUCKING IDIOT. YOU'RE FIRED. IF YOU'RE STILL HERE IN 10 FUCKING MINUTES I'LL HAVE YOU FUCKING THROWN OUT" David: "Cool, no problem" He picked up all his kit and walked away. As he was leaving the contractors site manager passed him (ironically with a coffee for the boss) and with a smile said. Site Manager: "You leaving early Dave? Bloody part-timers(joking)" David: "No, your boss just fired me. Our contract is ended. Sorry mate" Site Manager: "Noooo. Noo, no. Let me sort this out. Wait, please. Please,wait." David left. The Site Manager was losing his shit because he knew something that Noisy Gobshite didn't. Only 7 people in the UK are qualified to do the work. They all have a waiting list and David had been the only one available. By the time he was home he had 12 missed calls. That was Thursday. 2 working days missed so far. He said he'll go back but only if he gets paid for the extra days and has a genuine apology in person from the boss. I met my friend when he was getting a call from the Site Manager saying the boss apologises but is "out of the country" so can't apologise f2f. David also told me he phoned the other specialists to warn them but they'd all been phoned on Friday begging them to do the job. Nobody took the work. They're all booked solid. David also phoned the architect to warn him. Situations like this some unscrupulous contractors try to bodge the job and fake the work. David is going to stick to his guns. Pay for all missed days plus f2f apology. He is sure he'll get it. I've said I'll pay anything to watch the f2f apology ***Update One*** Site Manager phoned to say he was told by Noisy Gobshite to threaten legal action if David doesn't finish the job. Site Manager was very embarrassed and apologetic. David reminded him he didn't leave and has proof that he was fired. Site Manager phoned again to say Noisy Gobshite will apologise f2f on Friday. Can David start tomorrow? David said no. Following the threat of legal action the conditions are different. f2f apology before work restarts. Added pay for wasted days. Payment of full contract value upfront before work starts. All must happen by Thursday. That's the last day he can start and still expect to finish before his next booking. If he also works the weekends he has just enough time. I asked him why he isn't charging a huge extra amount for the guy being such a wanker. He said it doesn't look good if you take advantage of companies when they're under time pressure. "Not the done thing". It seems that one of my friends is an eighteenth century gentleman. Correction I misunderstood David when he said only seven others do this work. He meant seven other businesses apart from his. They're small businesses so he says it's probably about 20 people who can do it. Still a small number but not as comically small as seven. Sorry for misleading you all about the number. ***Update Two*** Unfortunately it seems there will be no apology. David has discovered that the Site Manager was blamed for "not making Noisy Gobshite aware of the situation beforehand" and was fired. David contacted the operations director for ACC Ltd (Noisy Gobshite's number two) and informed them that an apology is no longer required as he will not be returning to the job. The Ops Director apologised for everything and offered to renegotiate the money "very generously". David told him that he had only considered going back to the job as a personal favour to the original Site Manager. Since he isn't there he feels no obligation to return. Ops Director said he will get back to David but didn't say why. I asked why he didn't say "give him his job back or I won't come back". David said "Noisy Gobshite is too petty and weak to be told what to do by a craftsman. It will have to be the company's idea for the Site Manager to come back. If I tell them to bring him back it won't happen". David says the Site Manager is great at his job but is only 4 years from retirement so it's not easy to find a job at 61. I've decided I like David even more than I did 3 days ago. ***Update Three*** It's 2am here. We've just got back from the pub. David got a call while we were out from the sacked Site Manager. David updated the Architect on the situation this afternoon. The Architect contacted the sacked Site Manager to tell him about a company who need a Site Manager. The sacked Site Manager phoned David just before 9pm. I had to sit through the phone call, only hearing one side. I must have looked childishly excited like I'd got an arseful of sparrows. Then David filled me in. The site manager rang to thank him and to find out his favourite drink so he can send him a bottle. He hasn't got the new job yet but he is seeing them on Friday. Apparently, the Architect's recommendation carries some weight so he's optimistic. David refused at first. "I didn't get you a job, the Architect did". The site manager said "but you set all this shit in motion and told the Architect that I'd been fired. Because of you, I never need to deal with that obnoxious pillock ever again". David wasn't specific about who the obnoxious pillock was. We'll have to guess. David said his drink is Cardhu Gold Reserve. He said he will accept a bottle only if (a) the Site Manager gets the new job and (b) if the Site Manager will come over and drink the Cardhu with David. It looks like the handsome scribe who did the enormously difficult time-consuming job of skilfully writing this saga down on Reddit isn't included in the whisky consumption. As David poetically put it: "piss off knobhead, you can buy your own fucking drink". All good news (hopefully) except that nobody gets to see that tosspot, Noisy Gobshite, eat shit when he has to apologise. I was so looking forward to that. Additional information - David and the fired Site Manager know each other outside of work. Each are members of charity organisations in the same town. Two different groups but they work together a lot. Site Manager is in "Rotary Club" and David is in "Round Table". I don't think he's a knight but you never know. ***Update Four*** Operations Director for ACC Ltd phoned David to suggest that they take the Site Manager back and generously renegotiate the money. David says they've "missed the boat". There is no way he can finish the job on his own before he starts his next job. There is an absolute minimum of 11 days work left if everything goes without a hitch. David's next job starts 4th November. Only 10 days left if he works both weekends. Too late. I wish I could be a fly on the wall when Noisy Gobshite is told. The Most Common Question Many are asking what David does. If I said what it was it's so identifying that I might as well give you his real name and his address. Sorry. The reason there are very few of them is it takes 5 years to become just competent and at least 9 years to be a master craftsman. The jobs need at least one master present when the work is done. ***Update Five*** Bad news. The fired Site Manager didn't get the other job. He met the new company but they're not taking him on. The reasons aren't clear. David is meeting him on Sunday to discuss it. I can tell David feels like shit about it even though it's not his fault. Site Manager says he's going to take action for unfair dismissal. I thought this was going to be win-win-win but I suppose life isn't like that. ***Update Six*** News about the sacked Site Manager. The situation isn't as bad as we first thought. I think we misunderstood what happened on Friday. David talked to him yesterday. The company he saw on Friday are not employing him in the normal way, that part was correct. But they have offered him a fixed term contract for 18 months on a distribution centre build. It's not perfect but on the bright side it's slightly better paid than ACC. It's only 18 months but that's better than nothing. There is also the chance that the new company might extend the contract if another project comes in. ***Update Seven*** (seven?seriously?) David has heard that they're getting a Bulgarian to come over to do the job. David was grinning when he told me. He thinks he knows what will happen. There is a similar but different technique that was used on some 19th century buildings in Sofia. David thinks that the guy will use that technique. It looks similar but two very important materials are different. David has decided to wait. He plans to let the Bulgarian finish the job and get paid. Then David is going to suggest to the planning department and the client that they check the two components. Unless the Bulgarian knows the 17th century English method he will have used the wrong materials. It would mean ripping it out and starting again. They are incredibly strict with this type of work. I shouldn't want this so much but I really hope this happens. I'm a petty man. Further information Many people are asking when will David know if the Bulgarian has done the job right.David might know fairly soon since there are very few suppliers of one of the materials. If the Bulgarian contacts them David will be told. David's words "It's a tiny incestuous part of the industry and they gossip like old women. Correction, WE all gossip like old women" If he doesn't go there David is leaving it alone until he is told that the work is finished and the Bulgarian is paid. He doesn't want to put the guy's money at risk. In David's words "I don't want the Bulgarian to drag his arse over here and go home empty-handed just because I can't wait to drop silly bollocks in the shit. The man's got a living to earn. I'll wait." Just in case of confusion "Silly bollocks" is the same person as "Noisy Gobshite" It should take the Bulgarian about 3 weeks to finish the job unless he works weekends. David knows plenty of people on site and a few at ACC head office so he'll know when the job is finished. So I've got to sit on my hands for 3-4 weeks and pretend I'm NOT an excited 7 year-old girl pissing her pants about Christmas coming. ***Update Eight*** David has been told that the Bulgarian got straight to it and started work. He's had materials delivered but from an ordinary building supplier. The stuff he needs to do the job properly is too bulky for him to bring with him even if they sell it in Bulgaria. He hasn't ordered it from the UK supplier. There are 3 but only one has enough for this job because they got it in for David. So, unless it is coming by road and ferry he is not using the right materials. David wouldn't allow it to go unreported even if he wasn't annoyed about Noisy Gobshite. He's got a genuine passion for looking after all these buildings he works on and he is a purist when it comes to historical accuracy. So now I have to hold my water for 3-4 weeks. David says that if he's using more modern materials he might finish sooner. 3 weeks is the time it takes if you stay in the 17th century. I've turned into a bit of a weirdo about this job. When I phoned David earlier on a pretext he realised I was after info again. David: "Fuck me! Do you want me to fit a bodycam so you can see and hear everything as it happens?"Me:"if it's not too much trouble and you can link me into your phone calls. That'd be nice"David after laughing : "You fucking knobcheese. Is it ok if I cover the lens when I'm shitting and shagging my wife?"Me: "Personally, I don't do those two things at the same time but whatever floats your boat"David : "You're telling me you do them separately? When are you shagging my wife?"Me: "Right after she's cleaned all the shit off the sheets from doing you. Some of us are fussy"David "Piss off. You're an uptight clean freak" Hangs up. No goodbye No see you soon. English manners aren't what they used to be. I know it doesn't look like it but, honestly, I do have a life. I promise. TLDR: Owner of contracting firm fires subcontractor without realising nobody else can do the essential work. Lots of shit ensues. ​ [**UPDATE POST: "Do you know who I am" backfires on business owner. UPDATE 9 + Additional Info**](https://www.reddit.com/r/IDontWorkHereLady/comments/e0ik4w/update_do_you_know_who_i_am_backfires_on_business/) \- 23rd November 2019 When I first started writing this I would never have believed I was going to type....... ***Update Nine*** Lots of news. The Bulgarian finished the job and went home two weeks ago. According to the people who met him Stefan (the Bulgarian) was a good guy and a very hard worker. He did 12 hour days and weekends so he could cut the cost of staying in the UK. Based on what he learned about Stefan, David is happy that he waited until Stefan got paid before he reported the work. David was already fairly sure that Stefan was not doing the job correctly. He had checked the three firms who are the only UK suppliers of the most obscure material involved in the job and none said they'd had an order for the site. Of course, it was possible that Stefan imported it but nobody on site had seen an overseas material order. So, as planned, David contacted the local authority planning department, the client and the architect and an organisation called Historic England. He explained his concerns and the easiest, least intrusive way of testing. Then he waited for them to look into it. It only took a couple of days but I can honestly say that I've never been so anxious or felt so invested in something that is "none of my pissing business". First report came from the architect. WRONG METHOD USED! Wrong method using the wrong materials. He'd used a 19th century Bulgarian technique not the 17th century English that is demanded. The Architect was enormously pissed off. David said he's never heard the Architect use bad language before, but this phone call was blue. Apparently "Noisy Gobshite" is called "that ignorant fucking cockwomble" by the architect. David asked me what a "cockwomble" is. I had no idea. Suggestions welcome. The architect said he was going to contact the local authority because he doesn't want them to think this is anything to do with him. Most of the rest came to David second or third hand. He knows some of the staff from ACC. I asked if it was difficult to get them to tell him anything. He said they can't pick the phone up fast enough. The local authority planning officers visited the site and inspected the work. They told the contractor that the work was entirely wrong and must be cleared and done properly. Then it got interesting. The inspectors had a look around the site. They found an "issue". I can't be specific about this because it would be too easy to identify the buildings involved. The contractor has destroyed part of the building. There was an internal feature that didn't look particularly important but is part of the roof structure. They removed it and put in a much better modern support. But they are not allowed to. Neither the project manager or the new site manager or staff knew the importance. Guess who ordered it to be replaced (cheap quick option) instead of repaired (slow expensive option). Of course, it was Noisy Gobshite. It's a criminal offence to destroy anything on this type of property. Jail time type of crime. Even if they don't go to jail it's a massive fine. So now everybody in that company is pointing fingers at each other and claiming no responsibility. Noisy Gobshite has claimed that he did not give the order to take out the internal parts of the roof structure. The project manage has email evidence he did. On Tuesday 19th the client ordered all of the contractors staff off the site. They're having everything examined. It's almost certain they're firing the contractor. They've issued instructions for bids from new contractors. They'll also sue the contractor for the cost of repairing and replacing everything they've done wrong. The architects estimate was £800k. The local authority planning department wrote to the contractor outlining what they've done wrong and advising them of their plans to inspect and the possibility of prosecution. According to the staff Noisy Gobshite disappeared to the lawyers on the day the letter arrived. David had three different people from ACC phone him within an hour when the news of the letter circulated around the staff. So now we're waiting for a few things. Client's inspection. If that confirms that ACC have damaged the site then the client has the right to fire the contractor. ACC doesn't get paid and they have a massive repair bill. Local authority inspection by conservation experts. If they've destroyed features in the property the local authority will prosecute ACC as a company and the person who ordered it. David is very unhappy because the internal structure that has been destroyed can't be replaced. In his words "That wood has been sitting there doing it's job for 400 years until that fucking jizz stain comes into the picture. Then it's gone and that's it, never again" He seems genuinely sad. I'm betting that Noisy Gobshite is wishing he'd got his own coffee on that day last month. ***Correction and Apology*** The letter to ACC (not their real name) DID NOT threaten to prosecute. It only made them aware of the planning department's intention to send a specialist to inspect the building and in particular the area affected by the change. Apparently, prosecution, if it happens, takes forever. My sincere apologies for misleading you all. Like everyone else I was too keen to pick up my pitchfork and believe the worst. A combination of wishful thinking and Chinese whispers meant that by the time the story got to David it was much more serious and advanced. Noisy Gobshite might actually be prosecuted but if it happens it's more likely to be six months than six days. That's the second correction since I started. I promise to try to be a bit more conscientious on future updates. My fault not David's. David warned me. "Everything that goes in your ears doesn't have to spill straight out of your mouth. You're too keen to feed the masses. They might think you're farting rainbows right now but that won't last if you make a bollocks of the info." He's right. As usual. As fucking usual. As annoyingly fucking usual. ***Requested information*** A few people have asked what happened to the original Site Manager who was fired but I couldn't answer until tonight. We (me, David, Site Manager and two others) met in the pub. He definitely has the new job (subject to fidelity insurance checks which he'll pass) He starts on 9th February. He got paid off "in lieu of notice" by ACC. It's standard practice for firing. His contract gave 3 months notice and he was owed 12 holiday/vacation days so they paid him just over 3.5 months pay in one lump. He also gets to keep the car until March. He said "When he fired me I was shaking like a shitting dog but the wife reminded me that I could take my pension early and how much I hate that company and especially hate that dodgy pillock. Then (architect) called me about the distribution centre job and I stopped worrying" He has got Christmas off and he is starting the new job on a slightly higher salary. The only downside is that the job is only guaranteed for 18 months. There is the strong possibility that the company will keep him after that if they have work. It's just not definite. Initially he was planning to take Noisy Gobshite to an industrial tribunal for unfair dismissal. Now he can't because he isn't going to suffer financially. He said "obviously I'm glad I'm not losing money but I was looking forward to beating that wazzock in court". Right now he is using the extra time to build a better sleigh and some reindeer. Yep, a sleigh. It's to go on the back of a truck. His group walk around the area dressed as elves and snowmen, with Father Christmas on the sleigh, playing Christmas carols at window-rattling volume collecting donations for a charity. I've been roped into it many times. He brought David the whisky he promised. David said he shouldn't but Site Manager said "Yorkshiremen keep their word. Even to a shower of soft shandy-sipping southerners like you lot. Besides, I'm not risking breaking this lucky streak. Even the whisky was half price". Both me and David pointed at him simultaneously and said "a real Yorkshireman!". For the unaware, Yorkshire folk have a reputation for two things. Very straight talking and being "careful" with their money. So, after bollocking him for suggesting that I was a southerner\* we left the pub and went to Site Manager's garage so we could drink the whisky and admire his work on the sleigh. If I tell you all how good Cardhu Gold Reserve tastes will they send me some freebies? (\* I'm Welsh. Born near Caernarfon. Saesneg yw fy ail iaith. Cymru am Byth. That's why you've probably noticed some poor grammar.) I'm waffling now because I'm full of whisky. It's 1 a.m. so it's past my bedtime. Bye for now.   # [Part 2/2 Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zz4nj6/part_22_an_absolutely_riveting_saga_of_david_vs/) **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

Part 1/2. An absolutely riveting SAGA of David VS Noisy Gobshite

REPOST

raredontstare

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zz4ng0/part_12_an_absolutely_riveting_saga_of_david_vs/

zz4nj6

**I am NOT OP. Original post by** u/MostlyGruntled **in** r/idontworkherelady   ## [Part 1/2 Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zz4ng0/part_12_an_absolutely_riveting_saga_of_david_vs/) * This is a long but absolutely entertaining tale partly attributable to OOPs exceptional writing style. * Reposting this epic tale as BORU members have increased exponentially since this was last posted. mood spoilers: >!Last update of OOP is unexpectedly sad & devastating!<   ## Part 2/2 [**UPDATE 10**](https://www.reddit.com/r/IDontWorkHereLady/comments/e7sn99/update_ten_seriously_ten_to_do_you_know_who_i_am/?st=k48hablu&sh=7bad3a12) \- 8th December 2019 ***Update Ten*** I think there might be some karmic justice on its way. Noisy Gobshite has been "interviewed under caution". It doesn't mean they're definitely taking legal action against him but it means they are preparing for the possibility. They also did the same with the Project Manager and they're going to do it with the fired Site Manager next week. The Site Manager is confident he has nothing to worry about. The decision to remove the roof support sections was made after he was fired. He said he was confident that if he'd been there at the time of the illegal alteration the Noisy Gobshite would have tried to pass responsibility. Or as Site Manager put it "that cowardly slope-shouldered turd would have shat all over me to save his own skin". Can turds shit? Luckily, the Project manager has proof, in the form of an email, that Noisy Gobshite ordered the work. Noisy Gobshite tried to persuade/bribe him not to pass it on to the people investigating this for the local authority planning department. When that didn't work he tried to threaten him. That backfired because not only did Project Manager ignore the threats, but he told the investigators that Noisy Gobshite told him to "lose" the email. I have a lawyer friend who tells me that interfering with a witness and destruction of evidence are offences in themselves. Noisy Gobshite won't stop digging himself a deeper hole. I am going to be so disappointed if he gets away without legal consequences. He is definitely suffering though. The big news of the week. Noisy Gobshite has been fired. David announced it yesterday (Saturday) after he was told by no less than four different employees of ACC. He said they couldn't wait to tell him. Then the conversation went like this: Me: "How is that fucking possible? How does the owner get fired? Did he walk up to a mirror and say You're as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit, you're fired". David: "Nope. You know he inherited the business from his Dad and Uncle?" Me: "Yep". David: "You know his brother and cousin own a slice each?" Me: "Yep" David: "Well, their combined share is over 50%. So they fired him. According to Louise, the Accounts Manager, they are pissing their pants. They were happy to leave Noisy Gobshite in charge as long as the money rolled in but now their golden goose looks very sick. They're terrified that losing this contract and the penalties and fines will finish the business. So, they're appealing to the client/property owner to take ACC back to finish the contract. Part of that involves convincing the building owner that Noisy Gobshite will never have anything to do with the company. Obviously, they're throwing Noisy Gobshite under the bus. Louise said there was screaming and threats of violence from Noisy Gobshite when they fired him. He had to be "escorted" off the premises. He's been phoning employees asking questions and seems surprised when people don't want to help him. According to Louise he actually thinks the employees like him and want to be loyal to him. She said the man is in cloud cuckoo land" Me: "He's going to be so pissed off, I wish I could see that numpty's face as it was happening". David: "It's nothing that the scrote doesn't deserve. There is something else, but I can't tell you because I promised the person who told me that I wouldn't tell anyone yet" Me: "You fucking tease. How important is it?" David: "It's huge. Life changing for the subject. I wish I could tell you because it nearly gave me a hard-on" Me: "Fucking hell, it must be big if it can get that ugly appendage to do anything except hang there like the last chicken in the shop. Your wife must have been pleased" David: "What a drama. She thinks I should tell her this thing I was told in confidence. She thinks I should be able to tell her everything because we're married. I explained it's not my secret to share. I was hoping I'd get I appreciate you have integrity dear husband but no, I've got an angry Mrs who thinks I'm a knobhead". (Louise and her job title have been changed to protect the innocent) It seems like it will be a couple of months before he can give me this awesome news so I don't want any of you holding your breath. The client/building owner has done their inspection. Two areas are unacceptable as expected. The damaged area and the part that David should have done but was done by Stefan. They are very unhappy. When listed buildings are damaged the local authority normally assumes it's the owner taking shortcuts but in this case the owner is a crusty old institution dedicated to preserving important buildings. They're not used to being accused of anything shady so they did not like having to prove they had nothing to do with the damage to the building. David said "It looks like they've written off ACC because they've issued a type of request for tenders to several other contractors who specialise in conservation" He then spilled a lot of jargon I neither understood or remembered Me: "in simple English they have asked a few companies to quote a price for the job" David: "That's a very simplistic way of describing it but i don't have the time or the crayons to explain it to you, so ok, let's say they're asking for prices for the job". "Condescending twat!" So I was hoping this story would build up to a crescendo with Noisy Gobshite suffering something horrible but it's just sort of fizzled out with a whimper while we wait to see what legal action is going to be taken. Real life is inconveniently slow. ***OOPs PERSONAL LIFE UPDATE*** 21/1/2020. Hi, this is Mark's wife. The idiot asked me to apologise to the internet for his silence. He was hurt in a car accident on 7th January. We're sure he's going to make a full recovery but he won't be online for a while. I said it's just Reddit but he's an obsessive lunatic about not letting people down so I promised I would add Reddit to the list. So here I am telling all the people that he doesn't know why he hasn't finished telling them something they're probably not reading anyway. 3/2/2020. Hi, Mark's wife again.There were over 200 direct messages. Thank you all for your comments and for wishing him well. I've read them all to him.I'm going to answer the three most common questions. What happened to Mark? He was stationary in his car in a queue to leave the motorway when a large lorry drove straight into the back of him. His car was crushed between that lorry and the lorry in front of Mark. He has several broken bones. Nose and Left orbital and cheekbone, left radius and ulna (forearm), 4 bones in left hand, Right tibia and fibula(lower leg), 4 ribs, one of which punctured his left lung. There is some damage to the central vision of his left eye which we hope is temporary. He has some damage to the tendons in his right hand which need more surgery. Lots of cuts. Total of 112 stitches. He looks like a mess but there is a chance that he might recover without any permanent damage. If it was me I wouldn't cope but he has always been as tough as nails for as long as I've known him. When I first got to the hospital and he was lying there covered in blood and wires and tubes and he couldn't speak properly I went to pieces. He had me laughing within minutes. He's always been good at knowing the right thing to say. The thing that is bothering him most right now is not being able to use his hands. When will he update the story? It could be a while. I could ask the friend he has called "David" for an update but I definitely can't tell a story like Mark can. Obviously I'm biased, but I think Mark is the funniest man I've ever met. When he and "David" get started I laugh so much I can hardly breathe. For now, I've told him to forget about everything except getting well but if it starts to bother him I've told him I'll do some secretary roleplay and he can dictate the story to me. I know he will finish it. He always finishes what he starts. I wish I had a tenth of his self-discipline. A few have asked if they can send him cards or gifts or money to help with medical bills or lost earnings. Thank you so much for offering but it's not necessary. We're in the UK so, thankfully, healthcare is free. He doesn't want anyone's money. If anyone feels the need to do something there is a charity that we have supported for a long time called Macmillan Cancer Support. You can donate at [https://www.macmillan.org.uk/donate](https://www.macmillan.org.uk/donate). They are always grateful for any amount big or small. ​ [**FINAL UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/IDontWorkHereLady/comments/gow8cn/update_re_do_you_know_who_i_am_backfires_on/) \- 23rd May 2020 22/05/2020 - This username /u/MostlyGruntled belonged to my husband Mark. He wrote the story about his friend "David" and a business owner he called "Noisy Gobshite". Mark had been updating the story until he was involved in a car accident in January. At that time he asked me to let everyone know that he was injured and he would update the story when he had recovered. Unfortunately, just over a week after my last comment Mark passed away. Everyone thought he was recovering but without warning he suddenly became unconscious and died very quickly. The staff tried everything they could to save him but he had suffered a "ruptured aorta". They said it had probably been damaged during the accident and isn't uncommon in car crashes. I'm sorry I didn't update this sooner but to be honest I completely forgot about this website. It was only when I came back to read Mark's words again that I saw how many people were waiting for Mark to finish the story. I don't know how many people will see this update but if you know anyone who was waiting for Mark to reply would you please pass this news to them. Thank you. Thank you to the hundreds of people who left get well messages for Mark. I'm so sorry that I ignored you all for so long but I've been dazed for the last three months. Mark would most definitely have disapproved of my leaving everyone in limbo and would have told me off. Many thanks to the people who made donations to Macmillan Cancer Support although it seems strange to see money "donated in the name of MostlyGruntled". Finally, thank you to the moderators, particularly /u/Merari01 for helping me by explaining how I could inform everyone. 24/05/2020 - I can't thank you all enough for the lovely words and virtual hugs that I have seen over the last day. I have cried for hours . It's hard to explain what "good crying" is when you lose someone. Anyone who has lost a loved one will probably understand. Because of your posts and messages most of today has been "good crying". Your words have made me think about all of Mark's wonderful qualities and all the reasons I loved him so much.I started writing the update and then abandoned it about 8 times before finally finding some bravery. I'm so glad I did it. Thank you again to the moderator /u/Merari01 for the last little push I needed. It's also made me realise that I want to do one more thing that Mark would have wanted. He always finished what he started. I'm going to speak to his friends and find out what has happened. I know some of it already but I'll try to get myself up to date with everyone's outcomes. I warn you in advance it will NOT be like Mark's writing. It will just be the facts. I haven't got an ounce of Mark's flair for telling a story but its obvious from the comments that a lot of people were waiting for a conclusion. The plain facts will have to do. Please be forgiving. I'm going to speak to the person he called "David" (who has been an absolute rock for me this year). Hopefully he will be able to tell me everything. I'll enter the update as soon as I can. Thank you all SO much. You have no idea how much this has helped. 25/05/2020- Yesterday I was having a better day, mainly because of what you all wrote. Today I woke up angry and I can't shake it. Today is a public holiday in England and I keep thinking about what we would be doing if Mark was here. He never wasted a holiday. I'm angry because I have lost the best person I have ever known in my life just because some selfish idiot couldn't wait to reply to a text message. I can't get over the stupidity and the unfairness. He will go to prison, but only for a few years, but nothing will bring my Mark back. Sorry people, I just needed to vent. Please, please, please don't use your phone when you're driving and don't tolerate it if you see others doing it. 3/6/2020 - I would like to mention two things. Firstly, may I thank everyone who has made a comment. The beautiful things you have all said about Mark have lifted my spirits. I didn't imagine they would, which is why I took so long to inform you that Mark had passed away. But you did help. Even when what you said was so touching that I broke down, which I have done dozens of times reading the wonderful words. Secondly, May I apologise for not yet responding to every comment. On some days I feel I could talk about Mark all day. On others I can't even think about him without going to pieces. If I haven't responded to your individual comment it's not that I haven't read it, I've read all of them. It's just that I have been in a bad place some of the time and I can't reply. I will eventually reply to everyone, just as I did, very slowly, with the cards at the time of his funeral and since. I didn't think I would get through them all. It seemed that I was climbing a mountain that wouldn't stop growing but I eventually replied to them all. All 322 of them. Finishing what I start is one of several good habits I caught from Mark. I just want to hear him call me cariad again (Cariad isn't my name. It's a Welsh word for love) 27/07/2020. 3.10 a.m. Wow. I haven't been online for a few days and suddenly there are hundreds of messages. I can't sleep again and it occurred to me that I could update what happened to each of the people Mark had written about. It's just the facts. It won't have Mark's humour or style. Just plain information but it's the best I can do and better than nothing. Site Manager. He started as planned in the new position on a building project for a distribution centre. Mark had already said what Site Manager and David were unhappy about. Being on a fixed 18 month contract as a self employed person was a disadvantage compared to being an employee. But that was before the coronavirus. After the virus hit most of the employees were laid off, some were furloughed, but because of the contract the company had to keep paying the Site Manager in full. What he thought was a bad thing turned out to be his saviour. Noisy Gobshite. The last that David could tell me about Noisy Gobshite was that he has been forced to divest his share of the business so he no longer owns a third. He had to sign a personal liability agreement regarding his assets in the event of total liabilities being greater than the value of the company. The way I understand that is that if, for example, the total bills for Noisy Gobshite's mistakes are more than the company can pay, then Noisy Gobshite must pay the extra even if that means he loses his house. He had to give up his share of the business because they couldn't keep trading if he was involved. He needs them to keep going to pay the lawyers. He hasn't been charged with a crime yet but it's certain that he will. They take a long time investigating and preparing before they charge him. Something to do with needing to be ready to go to court once he is charged. It also came to light that he had a warning for similar but much more minor damage to a listed building in 2011. David has been told that during the investigation some "irregularities" we're discovered by the local authority and were referred to HMRC (the tax man) and Noisy is also being investigated for VAT fraud. One of the earliest comments on Mark's story said "expensive cup of coffee". An understatement if ever I've seen one. The big news was going to be about Noisy Gobshite and the sexual assault/rape of one of the P.A.s in the ACC offices in 2017 and sexual harassment of other staff too. The rape/assault did happen but wasn't Noisy Gobshite. It was a former Finance Director. Stories about sexual harassment of female staff have not developed and turned out to be just rumour. David. Financially and workwise he is probably one of the few people who were not affected by the covid19 outbreak. Because he works on his own and has no social distancing issues he has continued almost as usual. He said work is easier because, in his words "the usual plonkers are not there to trip on my equipment or stick plank ends into my finished work". Personally, David is not doing so well. Outside of family David took Mark's death worse than anybody. He tries not to show it in front of me. When he is with me he is a rock. He has saved me from myself. He is one of three people where I feel I can really let go about Mark. Or so I thought. I spoke to David's wife last week and she was so sweet and sympathetic about it but she had to tell me to hold back a little with David. He looks strong to me but his wife says it's shattering him. I knew he and Mark were good friends. She says he has taken Mark's death very badly. She says in all their marriage she only saw him cry once when their dog died. She didn't see him cry when his parents passed. She says he seems lost now and has cried quite a few times. The worst thing to hear is that the time he cries is after he has been to see me. I feel terrible. It's obvious that he was grieving but I didn't know I was putting so much on him. I'm going to be more careful and stop using him to vent all my pain. I wish she had spoken sooner. Or maybe I should have been aware of it instead of being so selfishly focussed on my own grief. That's as much as I know about the updates. They are waiting to see what Noisy gets charged with. If he is guilty of damage to listed buildings he might go to prison. If he is guilty of VAT fraud he'll almost definitely go to prison. Either way the fine will e six figures. David said he wondered if he'd like prison coffee. He's got evil sense of humour. 27/07/2020 5.30 a.m. When I came online earlier there were notifications for 512 private messages and comments. I don't know where to start. If you've written PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't think I'm ungrateful because I haven't replied. At 3.10 a.m. I felt able to write so I did the update. Right now I don't think I can do it. I have been looking at the video of our wedding. I thought it would make me feel better but I feel like I've been knocked over by a bus. Mark's speech has crushed me. He talked about when we met and when he went back to the house he shared with other Royal Marines. One of them asked Mark "what's the joke?" Then again "you're grinning about something, come on, what's so funny?" Mark said he couldn't and wouldn't explain it to them. He just couldn't stop smiling every time he thought about our date. He said he felt like that every time he thought about me. On our wedding day it made me smile and brought a tear to my eyes but this morning it broke me. I don't think the pain is getting easier. I think it's getting worse. I can't stand it. I feel it all through me and I can't stop it. All I can think lately is that if I can't have him back I wish I had been in the car with him. He was an atheist and he always said "this is all you get so don't dare waste any of it" so he wouldn't approve of me hurting myself so I don't think I can. It's just so hard to carry on with this pain. I just want it to stop. I'm sorry to carry on like this. I daren't say this to people I know because they worry but writing here is like screaming into a diary. My apologies to everyone. Ill try to get a hold on things but I miss him SO much and I can't stop it hurting. I don't know what to do. Nos Da Cariad 31/08/2020 17.25 Since I last updated this submission I've replied to quite a lot of messages. Hundreds. But I didn't get through them all. I can't read/see any more of the messages in chat but the screen says I still have 92 waiting. If you didn't get an answer you're in the 92. It was our anniversary yesterday 30th August. I was dreading it but then when it came it was sort of empty. I watched our wedding video. I cried. I answered some messages. Half way through one message I was suddenly overwhelmed with the realisation that all the happiness I will ever have in my life has already happened. And finished. Everything I try to do in the future is just going to be overwritten with "Mark should be here but he isn't". Everything from here until I die is just going to be existence. Just breathing and watching the days pass. It seems so pointless without Mark. I don't know if I can write any more. Thank you to everyone who offered their help. You're lovely people. Hold on to the people you love like you might lose them tomorrow. Don't do what I did and assume you can carry on in your own little heavenly bubble forever. Some careless idiot can snuff out everything you love in the blink of an eye leaving you with nothing ahead of you. Bye. ​ **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

Part 2/2. An absolutely riveting SAGA of David VS Noisy Gobshite

REPOST

raredontstare

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zz4nj6/part_22_an_absolutely_riveting_saga_of_david_vs/

zz6g8s

**I am not OOP. OOP is** [u/Waltz-428](https://www.reddit.com/user/Waltz-428/). He posted in r/AmItheAsshole. Since this is a story about cellos, I figured I'd offer you a cello fun fact: The oldest cello in existence is called "The King." Andrea Amati built it between 1538 and 1560. It's kept in the National Music Museum in South Dakota. ([Source](https://stagemusiccenter.com/music-school-blog-winchester-acton-ma/2019/9/6/cello-history-fun-facts-and-benefits-of-learning)) **Mood Spoiler:** >!Fucking wholesome!< **Original** [Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zsg5gi/wibta_for_giving_my_old_cello_to_a_fellow_student/)**: December 22, 2022** I've (36M) been learning the cello for 8 years and attending the same music school since starting, I started learning late in life because I grew up in a poor family that couldn't afford things like instruments and music lessons. I met Chloe while we were both waiting to go into our lessons a few years back, we speak often about random stuff on the regular because our lessons have always fallen into the same timeslot and we're both in the orchestra etc. She's about 13, very polite and eager to learn and treats her, very cheap rubbish instrument that her parents got for her from an online store like gold, I know her parents they're lovely people, it's all they can afford, I'm not shaming them but if you know anything about instruments you know what I mean, it's also only 1/2 size and far too small for her but there's not a single scratch on it and she practises ever spare minute. I've recently upgraded to a performer instrument and a trade in on my $9k cello would have gotten me only 4k back so I decided to keep it and sell it myself. I'm pretty well off now but I know what it's like to be where Chloe is, so I've taken pity? On her, I usually gift her something at Christmas, like her next grade of music book, rosin and a gift card from the local luthier to get a new bow and have her instrument serviced but having not had time to list my old cello for sale or even know where to, my good deed strings got plucked at thinking that my old instrument would likely mean the world to someone like Chloe who's parents will likely never afford a decent instrument for her but stupid me, mentioned this idea to my sister-in-law Gale, who has a daughter (14F) We'll call her Alice, and she told me that Alice wants to learn the cello and insisted that I give the instrument to her daughter instead as it's "too valuable to give to a stranger's kid" Alice is her own little dude and we get along quite well but she has never mentioned wanting to learn an instrument to me until she watched Wednesday and now "it's cool" all of a sudden. Alice, hasn't stuck with anything for long, she follows fads and jumps from one thing to another and is for lack of a better word spoilt and based on her track record, handing her anything other than a student cello as her first instrument would be a waste as I'm unable to convince myself that she would even practise let alone reach a point that would call for this level of instrument, where Chloe is at a point where yes this instrument is slightly too big for her right now but she needs it and call me what you'd like for this part but I'd feel happier about giving it away to someone that needs it like Chloe rather than someone that just wants it but is connected to me, you know? But that has me worried that I might be seen as an ahole on this decision, family first? The music school is putting on Christmas carols tonight and I intend to gift the cello to Chloe at the end but I'm still conflicted about it. ***Relevant Comment:*** "Pity was a terrible word to pick tbh, I just couldn't think of the word I'd have preferred.. Relate! Is what I mean but couldn't think of it, i can relate to Chloe's position from my own experience in being from a poor background. The word count didn't allow me to be more descriptive and I had to chop a lot of what I described of their family, I didn't mean to come off as thinking of them being beneath me in anyway, I just see a lot of my own upbringing in them and it doesn't bring back terrific feelings." ***OOP is voted NTA, with almost everyone saying he should give the cello to Chloe (after talking to her parents.)*** **Update** [Comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zsg5gi/wibta_for_giving_my_old_cello_to_a_fellow_student/j18jvgi/?context=3)**: Later that night** Wow, so many comments, thank you to everyone that took the time to help me steady my nerves on this one and point me in what I felt was the right decision from the start but second guessing myself. I've just gotten home from the carols. Some people mentioned asking Chloe's parents for permission to gift her the cello and I'm glad this was mentioned because it was something that I hadn't considered and it led to what I feel was the perfect outcome. Everyone had settled after the students had finished the show and parents and volunteers brought cakes etc to share and everyone was standing around chatting, Chloe ran off to join the line to get her bag of lollies and goodies and it gave me a moment to approach her folks without having to mention my intension in front of Chloe before knowing how it would be received by them. I was nervous as hell but opened with my usual compliments on Chloe's playing (she played What Child Is This, in a quartet and it was perfect) and I made a light hearted joke about her growing too quickly and dwarfing her cello now. Her parents laughed but went on to mention how they've been saving to buy her a bigger one and that they didn't want to go cheap this time like they had with her first couple, having learned a lot very quickly about quality but when they'd taken Chloe to the luthier with the intention of getting her one for Christmas, they'd been disappointed to find out that they hadn't saved enough for the quality that Chloe needed and that they'd been devastated despite Chloe understanding and taking the revelation quite well. Figuring that a new cello was kind of something they'd worked hard on getting for Chloe, I decided to try and get them in on the idea and asked them how much they'd saved and would they be interested in buying my old one as I had a new one now and had no need for it but I didn't notice that Chloe had approached back from the line and she piped up with a low tone that they hadn't even saved enough for the student quality instruments, let alone mine (she has a good idea of how much instruments are worth) I stumbled on my words a little but I went on to insist on knowing how much they'd saved and her mother told me that they'd saved around $1600, I told them that that sounded like a good enough offer to me and that I'd be happy to know that it was being played and cherished by someone like Chloe that would take good care of it and I held out my hand to shake on the deal. No one answered for what felt like an hour to me! Chloe's father finally responded and told me that they couldn't accept it as Chloe had pointed out an instrument of equal value to mine to them while they were in the shop and he didn't feel it was right to take it for anything but a fair value and that they couldn't afford to do that. I'll admit that I felt a little bit annoyed by his initial good mannered refusal but I understood it as I was raised by similar minded parents with the same values but I told her parents that it was an offer that I felt that they really couldn't pass up as it was something that I felt Chloe had earned and needed desperately and that even if they didn't accept my offer I was going to give it to Chloe anyway and I turned and placed the hard case in front of the shocked and dead silent Chloe and walked away. Chloe's father approached me while we were helping pack up the entertainment hall and he gave me a hug and thanked me, promising to drop off the money at my shop in the morning and offering to help me out if ever I needed anything, for a stubborn bloke like that to be as red and teary as he was makes me sure that I did the right thing in making him accept the cello like I did. Chloe was visibly quite emotional but trying not to show it but she broke down after mouthing thank you to me as everyone was leaving and I found it extremely hard to keep my composure and could only manage a smile and a thumbs up in return. I think I'm going to be riding this high for a good while. The best thing is I can tell Gale that I sold it without having to lie and I can toss up the idea of using the money Chloe's dad pays me for the cello to buy a reasonable second hand learner's instrument for Alice. Again thank you too for the responses and advice. ***Relevant Comment:*** Wow! This blew up... Wasn't expecting this, I've read a lot of the replies and greatly appreciate the awards and the idea that this put a smile on people's faces. While the idea of getting Chloe's old instrument to give to Alice would be a great idea, the issue with it is that Chloe's cello is only 1/2 size and would be far too small for Alice who definitely needs a full sized instrument and according to Chloe's dad when he popped in today, Chloe was saying that she'd like to keep her old instrument as it is sentimental to her but he was eventually able to convince her into them trying to sell it because the one that I gave her will need maintenance, services and to be insured (which I'm in full support of them doing). I've decided to keep the peace with my in-laws as best I can, I shut my shop early today and drove a few towns over to pick up a decent 2nd hand cello for Alice that I spotted on fb marketplace a while back that was thankfully still available, it's black which is her go to colour for everything, so hopefully Alice will appreciate the colour more as mine was a polished mahogany red, it needs a service but it's a good instrument and came with a hard case, a decent bow, rosin and preliminary grade music books... Sold by parents that purchased it for their son that never picked it up after getting it... Let's hope that's not a sign of it's future and that Alice proves me wrong (Then I might just end up being the ahole after all) Gale, has a greedy streak in her yes but I'm trying to convince myself that she wasn't just seeing dollar signs and hopefully just wanted a good quality instrument for Alice to learn on, she tends to try and not go for bottom of the line in anything when she purchases something for her kids as she does like to point out stuff's value when she does get something (Yes she's one of those people) and claims that she isn't aware of how abrupt and rude she is at times, her real middle name is actually Karen lol! And we've often joked about it affecting her behaviour at times but she doesn't appear to be learning from it. Thank you again for all the feedback and I'm glad that I was able to share the good vibes around that I got out of this, Merry Christmas and a happy new year to you all. **As a professional musician, this whole post made me so freaking happy. Wishing OOP and Chloe further success in their cello studies. And hopefully Alice sticks with cello!**

WIBTA for giving my old cello to a fellow student in need and not my niece-in-law?

CONCLUDED

LucyAriaRose

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zz6g8s/wibta_for_giving_my_old_cello_to_a_fellow_student/

zz6nxe

[removed]

AITA for asking my bf to stop sharing everything with my sister?

REPOST

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zz6nxe/aita_for_asking_my_bf_to_stop_sharing_everything/

zz7aob

Originally posted by u/throwaway0934672 in r/AmItheAsshole on Dec 11, '22, updated Dec 12, '22. [Original post ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zjfi6d/aita_for_asking_my_friend_not_to_cook_beef/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) AITA for asking my friend not to cook beef burgers in my home? I [29F] have been friends with Jane [29F] for most of my life. She is like a sister to me. Jane is not vegan but my family and I are. My mother is especially strict about animal products being brought into the house and I share her values. This has never been an issue and Jane and her family have always been accommodating and mindful of this. Obviously Jane was welcome to wear whichever clothes she wanted in our home but my mom asked that if she wanted to eat at ours, that she ate our meals or if she wanted to bring snacks that they were free of animal products. This was never an issue. Fast forward to last weekend. Jane has recently started dating Brian [34M]. They live about three hours away from me so I offered to host them for the weekend. They arrived late on Friday and I had already cooked and had dinner ready. They both seemed happy with the food. However the morning after I wake up and they are gone. I message Jane and she tells me they left to get groceries. I thought it was a little weird since my fridge was packed but didn't question it. When they came back I see that they have brought beef burgers and expected to be able to cook them for lunch. I was a bit surprised and asked Jane if she had forgotten about my rule. She sheepishly admits that no, she hadn't. She just didn't think I would mind this one time. Brian is one big question mark. I thought about dropping it but it made me uncomfortable. Not just because I don't like the food myself but because she went behind my back and put me in an awkward position with her new partner. I pulled her aside and told her as much and she begged me to drop it. Turns out she hadn't told Brian about my boundaries on this because "they are embarrassing". I reiterated that the boundaries were still in place and kindly asked her to not cook the food in my home. I offered to go out and get plant based burgers instead but she doubled down and called me a weirdo and stuck up. This was a shock to me because never in my 20+ years of knowing her has she ever mentioned this being an issue and tbh her words hurt. I told her to please pack her stuff and leave. She stormed off and told Brian they were leaving. She later texted me calling me an asshole for embarrassing her. Brian, bless his heart, had absolutely no idea about what was going on. I don't blame him for bringing the food into my house but Jane should've know better. I feel bad about the fight. I know my rules are not conventional and likely feel strange and inconvenient to those who have different dietary requirements. With that said, no one is forced to stay at my house and my boundaries are clear. I don't know if I should've dropped this or not. AITA? Edit: if anyone is interested then I've posted an update to this on my profile. Thanks. [Update the next day](https://www.reddit.com/user/throwaway0934672/comments/zkajoz/update_aita_for_asking_my_friend_not_to_cook_beef/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) I know Reddit appreciates updates so I thought I'd give you one. Thanks to everyone who took the time to engage with the post. I appreciate it. This happened last weekend and due to the character limit on the post I didn't include any of our communications this week after the fact. I host dinner parties for friends and family on the regular. My guests know to expect fully vegan meals. I'm a rather good cook though I say so myself and take pride in my dishes. I regularly do full Indian dinners, Mediterranean (with a twist), Chinese or even just everyday comfort foods like mac and cheese, homemade soups and bread, Italian and there's always desserts. There's quite some misconception in place around vegan cuisine and that it's nothing more than rabbit feed and tofu. I enjoy introducing people to the other side (the one with spices!). No one leaves my home hungry unless they really want to. As I mentioned in the previous post, Jane and Brian left mine on Saturday. Jane messaged me soon after they left and she was too emotional for me to want to respond. I was also in a bit of a shock so I thought it would be best to cool off and have the conversation later. On Sunday evening I called her only for her to hang up on me. I messaged her and asked her to give me a call when she was ready. On Wednesday she called me and to make a long story short she expect me to apologise. I told her that I was sorry the trip ended this way but I wasn't sorry for enforcing rules in my own home - rules that she has known and followed since she was nine. She kept fighting me on it and insisted that it was a stupid rule and that "people eat meat. Get over it". I simply responded with "not in my home they don't". She then hung up again. On Friday morning I woke up to a Facebook message request from Brian. I accepted it and he thanked me for hosting them and apologised for overstepping. I assured him that he did nothing wrong and if Jane hadn't told him there was no way for him to know. As a side note, I cooked spaghetti bolognese for them on Friday and apparently he didn't even realise it wasn't vegan. Perhaps I should've told him it was but according to Jane he had no allergies so I just cooked and served. They both enjoyed the meal. Afterwards we had sorbet and black coffee and no comments there either. Brian then told me that she had indeed told him (Side note in case this is confusing; Brian didn't respond with this information until after I had posted my first post. He works long hours and we wrapped up our Friday chat last night when he had time to chat). The morning after I slept in and they woke up before me and helped themselves to breakfast in my downstairs kitchen. He had asked for milk in his coffee and she told him I only had oat. That sparked a conversation and she told him I'm vegan. According to him he didn't mind. He then suggested that they go out and shop for lunch and cook for us. During that shopping trip he suggested burgers and Jane said it was fine. They got beef and got me plant based sausages. Once they arrived at mine and he saw how uncomfortable I was he realised that Jane hadn't been honest, hence him looking like a walking question mark. I can only imagine how uncomfortable he must've felt standing like this in someone else's home with nowhere else to go and no real rapport with the homeowner. At this point in the conversation I was getting upset. Jane had knowingly put us into this position and embarrassed everyone. There was no need for this and if Brian is to believed then he had no problem with eating vegan for the weekend. I thanked him for contacting me and told him I'd have a word with Jane. He asked me to let him have a word with her first to make sure there was no misunderstanding on his part. Well apparently Brian wasn't happy with this either and he broke things off with Jane today. She called me absolutely hysterical this morning and told me that they had had a massive fight last night that lasted well into the morning. He stormed out and told her it was over. I tried my best to console her but she is very hurt and shocked. I told her to get some sleep and call me again later in the day. Around 4pm she called me again and apologised. She didn't get into the nitty gritty of the fight but it turns out that their relationship, albeit short, has been on shaky legs for a couple of weeks. She admitted that she does indeed think I'm a little stuck up for my rules but doesn't say anything since it's never been a real inconvenience for her. Wanting to keep Brian happy she just went along with his suggestions at the grocery store and hoped I'd make an exception. She's angry with us both for "going behind her back to discuss it" but after I sent her the conversation I had with Brian she said she understood. So that's where we are right now. Jane is my oldest and best friend and she made a bad call. She was feeling stressed about her relationship and struggling to keep face and she lashed out. I can forgive that and I will. I have invited her to come over between Christmas and NY so we can heal our friendship.

Woman's Friend Wants To Cook Meat In Her Vegan Home (AITA Dec 12, '22)

CONCLUDED

KittenDealinMama

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zz7aob/womans_friend_wants_to_cook_meat_in_her_vegan/

zz7rsg

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/throwawaybfandsister in r/amitheasshole** ---   [**aita for asking my bf to stop sharing everything with my sister?**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ph9biz/aita_for_asking_my_bf_to_stop_sharing_everything/) - 3 September 2021 hi i'm 24f and have been dating my boyfriend (26m) for 5 years now. we grew up together as neighbors and were friends for a couple years before dating. i love him so much, and i want to marry him. his family is great and i adore them all, and he's great with my family too. he also formed a great relationship with my sister (21f). the issue is that i think their bond is *too* close. my bf and i live together, but he spends a lot of time with her. albeit i am sort of busy, i’m currently in grad school for engineering so i have to go to my classes. my bf works full time. my sister is currently “taking a gap year,” but that one year has extended from when she was 18. she comes over when i’m in seminars/classes. they have tons of inside jokes and share the same sense of humor and taste in movies. it makes me feel left out, but when i try to include myself they both stop being so enthusiastic and act like it’s super awkward to have me there. my sister and i were close growing up but started drifting when i went to uni. when my bf isn’t there and i talk to her, she becomes kinda cold and sometimes says rude things. once she told me to my face that i’m not good enough for him and that he deserves better (which made me cry for a couple days). he also gets her gifts for the most random achievements (like he got her a present for “making it through the week” even though she doesn’t do anything (she isn’t currently working or trying to pursue a hobby or interest, she’s just “taking it easy” (her own words))). don't get me wrong, i'm glad my bf and my sister are friends, but my major problem is that my bf tells her *everything.* literally everything. he tells her things he doesn’t tell me, and talks to her about me and our relationship. she knows all our issues and good parts, to a level of detail that i wouldn’t even tell my closest friends or parents. she even knows the grades i got on my midterms/finals and what i think about my manager (i work part time to contribute to our apartment - but i also get paid for my research which goes towards our needs as well), which i feel is unnecessary for her to know since i didn't tell her myself. i asked him to step back a bit and stop telling her things about me and our relationship but he was shocked and told me that i’m an asshole for even requesting it. now i feel guilty, so aita? Verdict: NTA **edit:** holy crap, this blew up. thank you all for your responses and advice, you've literally made me reconsider everything that i thought i knew. the consensus is that there is something shady going on with my bf and my sister, which just makes me want to vomit. i'm now reading into every interaction and conversation and i feel so naïve for not noticing the red flags. i'm going to take your guys' suggestions and set up some nanny cams in my apartment (either way, it'll be good security). if nothing happens, then it'll be reassuring, and if something does happen...well, i'll deal with that after. i'm going to drive to the store right now to pick up the cameras - i'll try to update soon, hopefully with positive news. **edit:** hi everyone, i have an update. for some reason i can't figure out how to post an actual update (and get mod approval and all that) so if you guys know how, please educate me! i'm so sorry, i should be smarter than this but i'm a bit out of it right now 😅 if i don't end up figuring it out i'll just update on this post, but i'd like to make one of those cool update posts if possible. thanks everyone again for your advice and support. **edit:** the mods helped me out! thanks guys, i'll type up my update right now, so look out for it! [**Update in comments:**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ph9biz/aita_for_asking_my_bf_to_stop_sharing_everything/hc3ugy0/) hi guys! ok so i know a lot of you are wanting an update. unfortunately the mods denied it but i think i'm allowed to post it here in the comments. also, yes i lost access to my account, which is why i have a new one, but i'll explain that afterwards. here's what happened: hi everyone, i have an update. unfortunately it's a bad one, but (fortunately?) i didn't have to wait very long to get it. so the last update i posted was before i went to go get some nanny cams. i set up the cams in hidden spots in our bedroom and living room area in our apartment. today happens to be my birthday (yay for 25!) and "D," my close friend (25f), wanted to take me for a day trip yesterday. my bf agreed and said that we'd do something the next day, on my birthday. i told him i'd be out from about 8 am and i'd be home by 8 or 9 pm, after D and i finished dinner. D took me out, but she noticed i was feeling a bit off (i was still thinking about the overwhelming number of responses telling me that something shady was going on). i ended up spilling everything while we were eating lunch. D was outraged on my behalf and agreed that something was off. she asked if i wanted to cut our day short and drop back home to see if anything was happening, and convinced me by saying that "it's better to find out today than tomorrow." (yes i realize we could've just checked the nanny cams but for some reason we forgot about them in the moment. i'm kind of glad i didn't check, because i would've started ugly-crying in public). i'm guessing most of you know what happened (it's so predictable, i'm kicking myself afterwards for not realizing). we drove back home around 4 pm. i caught them literally in the act (why were they doing it at 4 pm? i don't even know). i just kind of stood there with my arms folded and i hope with a badass resting bitch face on (although maybe it was more a "trying not to cry" face). my bf gave me a whole "it was an accident" spiel. i just ignored him and started packing my things. thank god our lease was up for renewal within the month. he begged me and eventually yelled at me for packing up. the funny thing is, i bought most of the furniture and supplies. so, me being slightly petty, packed as much as i could. D helped me and we loaded everything up in her car. we left some stuff that couldn't fit but i'll go back for that later. the whole time, my sister was sitting stoically wrapped in a robe on my couch (my poor couch). we went back to D's house and i had a breakdown. D, the angel that she is, provided me with ice cream and fuzzy blankets. my bf spammed me with calls and texts, ranging from "i'm sorry, please forgive me, i love you, it was only one time" to "this wasn't my fault, you should've been home more" (predictable). we decided to check the recordings, and lo and behold, it was definitely not just once. i am really sad that the sister who used to bake cupcakes and do karaoke with me could betray me this badly. my bf...well he was my first, and in hindsight, he didn't really contribute much anyways. i spent yesterday kind of rotating through being devastated, angry, and self-righteous, but today D pampered me all day so it wasn't so bad. thanks for everyone's support, and i hope that everyone has a good day! so after i wrote this all up and sent it to the mods, i went back to enjoying the rest of my birthday and D kept me distracted. i left my second laptop (it's an old, slow laptop and when i upgraded, i still kept it) at my apartment. turns out i had my email and stuff still signed in my my (now-ex) bf messed with it and i lost access to my emails and the original throwaway reddit account. but i did send what i had written to myself beforehand so that's why i can update here. i'm not sure if you guys will be able to see this but i hope you can. **edit:** also i forgot to add but i wrote up the actual update portion 2 days ago! lol it's not my birthday anymore but yeah hopefully that puts it in context. currently i've been staying with my friend and i've blocked both my ex-bf and my ex-sister. to be honest, it's a huge weight off my back, and i know this won't affect me forever.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

AITA for asking my bf to stop sharing everything with my sister?

REPOST

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zz7rsg/aita_for_asking_my_bf_to_stop_sharing_everything/

zz9wmc

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/throwra57643 in r/relationship_advice** ---   [**My partner and I planned a vacation together. His mom demanded she come and he let her.**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/zq5o55/my_partner_and_i_planned_a_vacation_together_his/) - 19 December 2022 My boyfriend (20M) planned a vacation for him and I (22F) over winter break. We have been together for only about 7 months. We stopped by his apartment to grab his stuff and his mom was there. She jumped in the backseat of his car and began talking to him in Spanish (I don’t speak Spanish, so not sure what was said). He explained to me that she was worried about us going on this trip because his car was old and that she didn’t want us to go. He said he was going to convince her to let us go and they both went into his apartment to talk. He came back a few minutes later, and she sat in the car again, this time with a huge bag packed. He said she began crying because of how worried she was and that she would be coming with us on the trip, but that she would stay in a separate hotel room. He paid for the whole trip so I don’t know if I have the right to be upset, but we’re 2 hours in to the 8 hour car drive and I’ve cried the whole time because I feel so overwhelmed. I find it weird that even though he’s an adult he let her completely change our vacation and I’m worried that this may cause problems in the future. I know he loves her very much, but shouldn’t he learn to say no to his mom? I’m not sure if I’m overreacting because I’ve been off my medications for a few days tbh. I may be overthinking this. What do I do? I’m so stressed, but I haven’t said or done anything yet because I don’t want to cause any problems. TLDR: My boyfriend planned a vacation for us. Right as we were about to leave, his mom began crying because she didn’t want us to go and said she needed to come with. He let her come with us.   [**[UPDATE] My partner and I planned a vacation together. His mom demanded she come and he let her.**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/zu3fcj/update_my_partner_and_i_planned_a_vacation/) - 24 December 2022 A lot of you suggested that I should’ve gotten out of the car as soon as his mom got in the car to come with us on our vacation. Unfortunately, I sort of panicked and froze in the moment which is why I did not end up doing that 😅 When we got to our destination, she did go into her own room, and I had a talk with my boyfriend about the situation. I told him that it wasn’t the original plan to have his mom come, that I didn’t know how her coming would help if an emergency did in fact happen with the car, and that this raised a lot of concerns about our future. I told him that, although I know he loves her very much, she can’t come everywhere with us just because she’s worried about him. He apologized and agreed that having her come was inappropriate and unnecessary. He said she cried and was freaking out about him going on vacation and wasn’t going to let him go at all, and that letting her come was “their compromise”, but that he can see this wasn’t okay to do. He agreed to have a talk with her, set firm boundaries in place, and not let this happen again. He seemed very sincere, but I told him that when we come back into town, I would still like some space to think things out. It was a very short vacation (only 3 days), so I did stay the whole vacation. I got home last night and have just taken time to myself so far to think things through about rather or not I’d be continuing or ending the relationship, and to allow my boyfriend to talk with his mom. If I do decide to stay with him, I’d be very adamant that nothing similar to this should happen again. A few of you asked about being off my medications — it wasn’t intentional, I got caught up with school and forgot to get my refill of my antidepressants before vacation. I think this may be why I cried so much over the ordeal lol Thank all of you for your comments and letting me know I wasn’t overreacting about the whole situation :,) It was much appreciated and made me feel like I wasn’t just crazy   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

My partner and I planned a vacation together. His mom demanded she come and he let her.

ONGOING

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zz9wmc/my_partner_and_i_planned_a_vacation_together_his/

zzgpk2

[removed]

Dog on dog attack video posted online. Owner of the attacking dog posts on Reddit asking for help.

INCONCLUSIVE

Nana0Nana

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zzgpk2/dog_on_dog_attack_video_posted_online_owner_of/

zzi7bm

[removed]

TIFU by reaching out to the girl who ghosted me

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toohottooheavy

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Choosing beggar groom pushes me too far and I threaten to delete his wedding photos

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Choosing beggar groom pushes me too far and I threaten to delete his wedding photos

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** I am not OP. Original post by u/throwRA678901 on r/relationship_advice ** [My girlfriend thinks my girl -space- friend is crossing boundaries.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/zo0fct/my_girlfriend_thinks_my_girl_space_friend_is/) Dec 17 22 I (19M) have been in a relationship with my girlfriend (20F) for over 3 years, I’ve known her for 5. I’ve known my other friend (20F) for around the same time. My friend, who’ll we’ll call Greta, and I, talk a lot. Greta sometimes asks for things like for me to buy her expensive clothes and food and a lot of stuff. She also begs me to hang out with her and we shared locations. My girlfriend didn’t mind this until one day, while looking in my Find My app (not to snoop, but to look for something important on the app), saw that I had Greta’s location. My girlfriend (who we’ll call Fran) questioned me and asked me why she had my location, and I said it was because she asked and I gave it. She said she felt uncomfortable so I stopped letting Greta have my location. I thought it was dumb, sure, but I did for her security. A couple of days later, Greta questions why we stopped sharing locations. I state my girlfriend was uncomfortable. Greta said that Fran was insecure and that we couldn’t have anything because of her, and thar Fran didn’t like her and was controlling. I didn’t back Fran up and agreed that I thought the decision was stupid. This was two weeks ago. However, today, Fran found out, and she was livid. She was pissed that I would basically let Greta say these things about her, especially when some of them weren’t true. She also found it weird that Greta reacted badly to the location thing, especially when Greta expressed that she only does it for fun and that she doesn’t care or check. She basically thinks now that Greta doesn’t know her place as her friend and she doesn’t know boundaries because she says Greta made up lies about her because she had never said anything bad about Greta, and that she stated a boundary and that we basically shat all over her. She stated that she needed a boyfriend who was going to defend her from people who say bad things about her. Fran says it’s up to me who I’m friends with but she’s extremely hurt I let Greta say all this stuff without backing her up. I do agree that now after talking that some of Greta’s behavior is weird but I don’t know what else to do. Any advice? Edit: Woah, thanks for the much needed brutally honest advice. When I get up tomorrow, I’m going to talk to my girlfriend and tell her everything, and then I will deal with Greta. TL;DR: My girl best friend crosses boundaries, talked about my girlfriend, girlfriend is pissed. Don’t know what to do. [Editor's Note: OOP seems pretty clueless and many responses are really great, giving good advice and being really patient with him. I've included a few, but the whole thread is a good read] [Commenter:](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/zo0fct/my_girlfriend_thinks_my_girl_space_friend_is/j0k8sde) >Just why? >* Greta sometimes asks for things like for me to buy her expensive clothes and food. >* We share locations. >Valid: >* My girlfriend questioned me and asked me why she had my location. >Bad: >* Greta said that Fran was insecure and that we couldn’t have anything because of her >Wrong: >* I didn’t back Fran up and agreed that I thought the decision was stupid. >Understandable: >* Fran found out, and she was livid. She was pissed that I let Greta say these things about her, when some of them weren’t true >Greta directly challenged your GF right here: >>I state my girlfriend was uncomfortable. Greta said that Fran was insecure and that we couldn’t have anything because of her, and that Fran didn’t like her and was controlling. >The dynamics of your friendship with Greta is abnormal. Why do you buy her expensive shit? Why do you let her talk smack about your GF? Why are you sharing locations with her? >I don't know if you're the weird one in this situation. But Greta sounds like an odd character... [OOP's Response:](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/zo0fct/my_girlfriend_thinks_my_girl_space_friend_is/j0k9ikz) >>She wants me to buy her expensive things, for example, a sports jersey that was on sale. When Fran found out, she said she was hoping there’s no way I was actually buying it for Greta, I said yes. I decided not to after seeing how mad Fran got. There have been times where she would ask me to get UberEats for her and I would say no. I also shared my family Netflix account with her, and when Fran found out she was VERY MAD. Whenever she (Greta) has dumb requests, I always say no now. >>To answer the question about why I shared the location with her, she basically said “let’s share locations” and I responded with ok. >>And Greta didn’t talk about Fran until now and because I thought the location thing was dumb too because Fran felt sharing your location with others was for significant others and family members only, I didn’t see the problem with the location because it’s not like she’s going to come find me. Plus she shares her location with others. However, I find it suspicious that she had such a big reaction to Fran’s boundary. [Another Commenter:](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/zo0fct/my_girlfriend_thinks_my_girl_space_friend_is/j0kcvcs) >Dude you have two girlfriends. That’s the problem 😂 >You’re treating someone that isn’t your girlfriend, better than your girlfriend. And then siding with that person in arguments. You’re choosing her over your girlfriend on many levels. This isn’t cool. >Set some boundaries or you’re going to lose Fran. Also stop buying random girls stuff. >If you don’t reserve some things just for your partner, she’s bound to feel betrayed and unimportant. [Yet Another Commenter:](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/zo0fct/my_girlfriend_thinks_my_girl_space_friend_is/j0kh9ot) >baby, listen, i'm a 45 yr old mom, take this as mom advice. >you done fucked up ! >Greta wants you and you either like the attention or are stupid (sorry). >Fran should be upset. If you are putting your man bits into someone you should ALWAYS have that person's back. >You need to break up with both of them. You have feelings about Greta that you can't even explain, and that isn't fair to Fran. and Fran shouldn't be with you because you are a mean boy that comes awefully close to trash talking his GF to his BFF. By not standing up for Fran and her boundries you are basically laughing about her with your BFF. >If you don't want to make a clear choice, then cut contact with both. This isn't fair to Fran, and you will NEVER EVER NEVER have a healthy relationship with anyone until you figure your shit out with Greta. [OOP Replies:](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/zo0fct/my_girlfriend_thinks_my_girl_space_friend_is/j0khgjq) >>I really like my girlfriend, and I want to continue my relationship with her. [Commenter's Reply:](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/zo0fct/my_girlfriend_thinks_my_girl_space_friend_is/j0knw6y) >>>then cut off Greta HARD. tell her **WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND THERE** that you are done with Greta. She is inappropriate and you are uncomfortable with things between you 2. Then block her on everything, don't talk to her again. and the MINUTE Greta contacts you, tell your gf. >>>Greta is doing the classic power play. She may not want you, but she doesn't want anyone else to have you either. She wants to keep you in her stable "just in case". Greta WILL contact you again after you cut contact, or will try. She will blame your GF for everything. If you have mutual friends with Greta, tell them EXACTLY what is going on. >>>If you really want to be with your GF, then you fight for her. You stand up to "friends" or family that want to talk shit about her if she hasn't done anything to them. >>>Stay strong darling. [One More:](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/zo0fct/my_girlfriend_thinks_my_girl_space_friend_is/j0k9560) >Greta begs you to hang out. Wants to know your location and is spreading lies about your gf. Since you haven't figured it out, Greta is trying to get out of the friendzone. >You failed your gf by agreeing w Greta. You're lucky she didn't dump you already. >And just so you do better in the future, don't ever say "my gf made me", try saying, "After discussing it w gf, I agreed it was inappropriate and disrespectful to gf and I stopped sharing my location w you." >And when Greta starts saying shit about your gf, you tell her to shut it because you don't want to hear it. Let Greta go be a mean girl somewhere else. Oh, and just so you're aware, Greta is most likely saying way worse stuff about your gf than she ever says to you. Greta is jealous. Super jealous. [UPDATE: My girlfriend thinks my girl -space- friend is crossing boundaries.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/zqsd7p/update_my_girlfriend_thinks_my_girl_space_friend/) Dec 21 22 Thanks to everyone who had things to say to me. I appreciate it as they were all things I really needed to hear. Well, here’s the update. I did try to post a slight update, but now that everything is settled (and it’s been 48 hours), I can tell you everything. Fran had gone through my phone and found out about what I had said that way. She apologized for that and has guaranteed that she won’t do it again, but said she had been suspicious ever since Greta asked me to buy her things. We talked about it, and said that we’d communicate more. Also, I apologized because as a person pointed out, I had a tendency to say “Fran said no” like she was controlling me or shutting options down whenever Greta would ask to do something without a conversation. Examples like the no location, which I did realize was stupid. Fran asked me to give her a reason why the location was important and why it was important to share with her that wasn’t something like “because I want to”, and I was stumped. I couldn’t think of anything. And then I came to realization that I was absolutely stupid. Fran tried to reach out to Greta and talk to her about the location issue, which is the most recent issue, and more specifically the incident that included Greta talking about my girlfriend. Fran was really respectful and tried to get her point of view, which was slammed by Greta. Greta called my girlfriend insecure the whole time, told her off for looking through my messages, claimed that the boundaries Fran set were only set in place just for Greta, that she stood by what she said about her, and that the location thing wasn’t weird. This was silly even though some of the boundaries had been set in place far before she came. When Fran tried to tell her it wasn’t like that and clarified things, apologized for looking through the messages, and that she again didn’t appreciate the words said as she had never said anything negative about Greta. Greta again pulled the “insecure” card and said that since Fran still looked at our messages to find out about the situation, that she was insecure, and that she wasn’t going to sit and go back and forth with someone’s girlfriend who can’t trust her boyfriend (which she did, because we did talk things through). Fran is even more annoyed and has given up on talking to her, because Greta basically didn’t address anything she said. Fran told me that I need to talk to her, because the fact Greta is acting like Fran needs to let me do whatever I want with her is suspicious, and now I feel no respect for Greta. I talked to her and called her out. I said that Fran hadn’t done anything wrong. I was a dick that didn’t stand up for his girlfriend, and while I was laughing at her with Greta, I’ve realized I shouldn’t have done that. That she reacted really badly to Fran’s decisions, and said that Fran wasn’t targeting Greta, especially since those boundaries were there before and after her. She only apologized to me. But I fucked it up by being too forgiving and saying that we all played a part so that we should let it go. Fran said that the apology went well until I essentially started blaming everyone, and said while looking in my messages was WRONG, that did not even begin to compare to what Greta had done in return to me and her. I said that I wanted everyone to be happy, and my girlfriend exasperatedly said “Oh my god, dude! In this situation, you CAN’T have it all, and frankly, you SHOULDN’T. She is not worthy of the time you give her, and I find it absolutely insane you’d even want to consider staying friends with her and basically uplifting her feelings as well. You shouldn’t have done that.” She then did not talk to me for a while. I then texted Greta that an apology had to be issued to Fran. She didn’t respond for a couple of hours. I then texted her again and said that we couldn’t be friends because she doesn’t respect my girlfriend or the decisions we made mutually. Greta instantly responded and said that she would apologize. Fran is again somewhat frustrated because she says I shouldn’t have waited to hear what she had to say, and at this point she’s just trying to save her own ass. Fran says she cannot forgive Greta, and it would be a long time before she could even begin to think about ever forgiving her. Fran ultimately told me it was up to me about our friendship. For the time being, I’m ignoring Greta and not responding to her. Fran thinks I shouldn’t be friends with her regardless. It’s been a rough couple of days, and I am thankful that my girlfriend didn’t somehow break up with me, and I am really grateful for all of the advice that everyone has given me. I did realize that I am, to an extent, too nice for my own good. EDIT: Last thing, but for real this time. I have decided to cut ties with Greta, I know that this’ll keep happening again and again, and I know I need to put a stop to it. TL;DR: Realized I was a douche, apologized. GF talked to BFF, BFF was close minded and called her names the whole time. I told Greta off, and she only apologized to me. Asked Greta to apologize to girlfriend, and now BFF and I are no longer talking at the moment. [Commenter:](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/zqsd7p/update_my_girlfriend_thinks_my_girl_space_friend/j0zow5u) >Greta is not your friend, op. She sees you as her boyfriend and has been grooming you to accept that by manipulating you to treat her as a gf. Buy her things. Share your location. >*Let me ask this. If she asked for you to share locations as just a joke. How'd she know so fast you turned it off?* >She was keeping tabs on if and when you were with your gf, op. >Did you notice increases to her messages and wanting attention when you were at locations she'd assume you were with your gf? If yes, she was trying to steal your attention and piss your gf off. She wants to upset her. She wants her to blow up so she can paint your gf as the bad guy. Op, any sane gf would have a problem with this shit. >She has been trying to drive a wedge, op. And you've been somewhat blind to that. >Cut Greta loose. Tell her Fran is your so and you love her. She's the one you want to be with. And block her. Don't feel bad about it. She's fully aware of her manipulative ways. [One Final Comment:](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/zqsd7p/update_my_girlfriend_thinks_my_girl_space_friend/j0znusd) >Your girlfriend is far more understanding than I would be. I would have given you the ultimatum she desperately needs to. >It’s fine to have friends and friends of the opposite sex, but the second you start disrespecting your partner and letting someone else trample all over them takes it way out of line. >I thought you were finally seeing the light in how **awful** Greta is, and I don’t just mean awful to Fran, I mean awful to you. She’s using you and not respecting your girlfriend or your relationship. This very much means she does not respect **you.** >When you started blaming everyone and not just Greta here and basically let her off scot free, your girlfriend is right - you can’t have it all and you shouldn’t want to. I would have said you can have Greta, packed my shit and left you. No way would I want to play second fiddle to a manipulator and overall disrespectful “friend.” >Also, Greta is crazy. Location sharing? She’s going to go boiled bunny on you when you finally wake up and cut her off. [Editor's Note: I hope OOP really has seen the light and truly cut Greta off for good, because I think the last commenter is right-- she will go boiled bunny at some point. ] Since everyone is asking, directing you to [this comment for details about boiled bunny.]( https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zzwjuh/my_girlfriend_thinks_my_girl_space_friend_is/j2eld4g) ** Reminder: I am not the Original Poster. **

My girlfriend thinks my girl -space- friend is crossing boundaries

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AITA for making my daughter share her presents with my stepdaughter?

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