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danthareja

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cognitive-distortion

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From the U.S.: My girlfriend and her mom have a weird relationship. They aren’t the normal daughter and mother. But about a year and 6 months ago my girlfriend moved out because her and her mom were fighting to the point where it would get very heated, and even sometimes violent. Her mom can be very verbally abusive as well, calling my girlfriend a bitch. She moved into her grandparents house and has been there since. Her mother hates that and resents her for going there first.

Her mother hates that and resents her for going there first.

8Mind Reading

From the U.S.: I have been working as a Respiratory Therapist for about a year and a half now. I graduated one year ago. Ever since day one on the job, I have been under a lot of stress and anxiety at the hospital that I work at due to my social anxiety problems. It has become very excruciating for me to enter into my patient’s room and administer Respiratory Therapy, especially when there are family members in the room. Calling the attending physician about test results, speaking with other hospital staff members, and even speaking to the patient and their family members has become a mental burden on me.

It has become very excruciating for me to enter into my patient’s room and administer Respiratory Therapy, especially when there are family members in the room

3Magnification

My husband and I are both nurses. We have two sons. Our oldest will turn five in May and our second son will turn one in April. My husband works full time while I stay home with the kids. Tonight, I caught our 4-year-old wearing my thong underwear under his pajamas. It turns out, he stashed some of my underwear in his room along with two of my Victoria’s Secret catalogs. We talked to him about this. I have always noticed evidence of what Freud calls the oedipal complex in my son. He is a smart boy and has adapted quite well to his new role as big brother. He has said “why did God not make me into a girl” but when I explore this, it turns out that what he really means is that he likes girls, including mommy because girls are pretty. I have never seen any other “feminine” tendencies in him (he’ll say pink is for girls and refuse to ride a Barbie bike) but I just want to make sure that this is just a normal phase for him and we shouldn’t be thinking about gender issues here. I imagine a 4 year old won’t see this as a social taboo although it would be a different situation in an older kid. Please share your views about this situation. Thank you very much.

2No Distortion

From the U.S.: Hi, I am a female and a junior in high school. I think I might be gay but I don’t know, and it’s frustrating and scary. I thought I liked boys up until now. All through junior high all I ever wanted was a boyfriend. I was boy crazy and I wanted to date every boy in the school. Now, I have a boyfriend, and when we first started dating, I really liked him. I loved holding hands with him and cuddling. But after about 4 months I have no interest in touching him or kissing him or even talking to him. But I don’t know if this is because I don’t have feelings for him specifically, or boys in general.

I think I might be gay but I don’t know, and it’s frustrating and scary.

6Should statements

From a woman in Canada: I found out that I’m pregnant 2 weeks ago. I’m not ready to have a baby at this point in time, but it’s still something that’s heartbreaking and difficult to bear emotionally. My partner is VERY against having children right now. When I first told my partner that I was pregnant, his response was “please put my mind at ease and tell me you’re not having this baby”. He later said that he overreacted and should have considered my feelings more. My guard went up because I felt that his support was conditional upon whether I chose to abort or not, and still do.

2No Distortion

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. My boyfriend still lives with his mom, sisters, and step dad. We were seeing each other almost everyday. But recently his mom told him he has to be home before 9pm. Also he can’t come over during the weekdays anymore unless he texts her and asks. He is 25 years old. She always is telling him he is making mistakes by not being home and not inviting her to the movies with us. His little sister acts like she is his other mom, and she can tell him what to do, because his mom gave her that power. We have talked about moving in together, but now his mom isn’t going to let us. He pays her rent every month ($400). He is the oldest child as well. My boyfriend is seeing the way his mom is, and wants to talk to her. But she always makes his sisters sit in so they can gang up on him. His dad loves me and always is very welcoming in his house. He always tells us that he is just so happy and proud of how we are trying to be on our own. I just want to know.. is his mom taking this to far? Does she not want us together? She does she just not like me?

Does she not want us together? She does she just not like me?

7Overgeneralization

From a teen in the U.S.: Well I was physically abused as a child by my father and emotionally abused by my mother all my life. I had abandonment issues after my parents split up and people who raised me walked out. Depersonalistion and derealisation were heavy in my life and i always felt out of place and heard voices which i saw as my friends and saw shadows.

Depersonalistion and derealisation were heavy in my life and i always felt out of place and heard voices which i saw as my friends and saw shadows.

7Overgeneralization

Hi, when I was about 15-16 I had thoughts of being assigned the wrong gender at birth, I kept it secret from my parents, but they kept laughing at me and making fun of me for being slightly feminine (wanting to grow my hair, having long nails). My dad always called me names and teased me about it. I kept it inside and only told one person, she was my closest friend that I could talk to, when I told her, I broke down crying and it was very upsetting. Because of the torment about it from my father, I have never been able to open up to anyone about it. I pushed these thoughts deep down and tried to get on with my life, trying to fill it with guy things and I love my computers and my computer gaming (which people thing are more male things) but recently I have been diagnosed with depression and these thoughts are coming back again. I’ve had lots of suicidal thoughts, but never carried them out, always had visions of bad things happening to me. I am currently taking meds from the doctor for the depression, as it started with anxiety and panic attacks. They came out of nowhere as far as I can work out, but the thoughts of being the wrong gender keeps coming up. I am seeing therapists for the anxiety and panic attacks, as well as councillors. I’m scared to bring this up because of the way my father treated me over it. The last month or so, I just havent wanted to do anything, lack of drive to accomplish anything and wanting to hide away from everyone and just curl up and die pretty much. The last few days I’ve had this feeling in my chest that something is wrong with me and I cant quite point to it, but it makes my whole body feel cold and shaky too.

I’ve had lots of suicidal thoughts, but never carried them out, always had visions of bad things happening to me.

9Mental filter

It seems to have come to pass that I have lost all ability to feel emotions, other than a certain amount of anxiety and self loathing. Also, the feelings that tend to flood over you unexpectedly, which I can recall, like waking up on a Sunday and feeling a rush of comfort being all tucked up in your bed when its raining outside, mystical feelings that you get sometimes walking through nature, kind of feeling the “vibe” of a room or when you’re in a crowd, any of those things that can’t necessarily be classified as emotion, but seem to be more of a spiritual connection between mankind and reality. Those beautiful buzzing feelings.

It seems to have come to pass that I have lost all ability to feel emotions, other than a certain amount of anxiety and self loathing.

7Overgeneralization

I have been was in a relationship with a man for three years. I will call him A. We lived together and he wanted to and still wants to marry me. While I started and developed the relationship with him because I was very lonely at the time, I developed feelings for him and to this date, he is my closest friend. The problem that I always had when I was with him was that I was never in love with him. Staying in the relationship felt very emotionally safe and I was happy being with him even though I never felt the “butterflies in the stomach” being with or thinking of him. He felt like a family and I did and still do care about him. And that was what I was looking for – the emotional comfort of having someone next to me who loves me and cares about me. The missing part in our relationship was the fact that I never felt romantically about him and so two years later, I started sleeping with another man B, which developed into a relationship. I feel in love with B but I have been comparing him with A and this of course has made me see more of his negatives. I am very attracted to him and like to spend time with him. However, when the time came to “go home”, i.e. do every day things, relax and stay home, I would always want to meet with A. A continues to feel like home, like the place where I go at the end of the day to be comfortable, share my day at work, watch TV, or just relax while being silent.

2No Distortion

From the U.S.: Hello! I’m going to give some background information in order to give insight to my current situation. When I was 4 or 5, I was diagnosed with “borderline” autism (autistic traits) because I had communication, behavioral, and sensory problems that were autistic/Asperger’s in flavor, but did not reach the bar for a diagnosis. Through speech and occupational therapy, I was successful in overcoming these symptoms, and have had a successful and uneventful life, having graduated both high school and college and forming many friendships along the way.

2No Distortion

As far back as I can remember I’ve always heard a voice, I can remember being maybe 3 or 4 years old and having her with me. She sounds just like me but isn’t, she bosses me around all the time telling me what to do what to wear telling me when to go to bed, saying things when we’re in public like. “They don’t like you, they’re probably laughing at you.” They probably think you’re weird.’ I remember being 5 years old in kindergarten and her telling me to raise my hand and what to ask the teacher. I’ve told my therapist about this and I’ve told counselors at my school I even told my mother when I was little, all of them brush it off saying “that’s just your inner voice.” Or they misinterpret what I mean, most of the time when you hear voices its outside of your head or it comes on later on in life. But mines has always been there since I was little. I’ve been thinking that maybe my mother had a miscarriage and I had a twin sister and maybe I absorb her soul and now we’re part of each other and sharing the same bodies. I haven’t told anyone this I know they’ll say “stop acting crazy” Or that’s ridiculous. Sometimes I do things and don’t remember them, I don’t know if this is DID I didn’t have a bad childhood or anything, I asked my mother and she says I don’t have another personality that I need to stop. I told my therapist and she keeps saying so you hear “voices.” I keep telling her no I don’t hear “voices” I hear myself but there’s two different versions there’s me and there’s her she sounds just like but isn’t me. And no one seems to understand this. I’ve had dr and dp since I was young too most people get that later on. I’m scared and I don’t know what’s wrong.

I haven’t told anyone this I know they’ll say “stop acting crazy” Or that’s ridiculous.

8Mind Reading

From a teen in the U.S.: I’m going to start this with I don’t know how I feel or if anything is wrong with me. I haven’t been diagnosed because I’m afraid of telling my family. I thought i had depression and anxiety because I had many of the symptoms, but lately I’ve been doubting that (because of intrusive thoughts). I also have intrusive thoughts that disturb me a lot (sexual, death, fear of faking it) and they make my life so hard.

I haven’t been diagnosed because I’m afraid of telling my family.

1Emotional Reasoning

This issue started a long time ago: anything i start whether its a puzzle, A game or even a social relationship. I’m 16 years old i got no friends and no hobbies. i am seeing a psychologist and a psychiatrist. i got a social phobia even though people at my school are trying to befriends with me but i seem to consistency pushing them away. not on purpose of course. i really want to do something with my life but have no idea what. When I asked my psychologist what can i do about it he said there is no solution. i use to play guitar and violin but i quitted both. what should i do in order to finish the things that i do?

i got a social phobia even though people at my school are trying to befriends with me but i seem to consistency pushing them away.

8Mind Reading

From the U.S.: First of all, I love my husband. We have been married for almost 3 years. We have four daughters (2 are mine and 2 are his) and we have a 1 year old son together. Lately we seem to be fighting a lot and he’s getting more mean each time. He cusses at me, calls me names and says hurtful things. After a few days go by, things go back to normal, but he never really says sorry or takes back what he said. He tells me that I’m mean and rude “all the time” but can’t give me even one example of how. But he uses that as his excuse for the way he acts.

2No Distortion

I think I have the symptoms. I went my whole life knowing I’m an empath and I still kinda believe it but what I’ve discovered is that I can’t form emotional bonds with people. I can’t feel other people’s emotions, and I don’t have remorse for anything. Why though? Is it because I get PTSD over the littlest of things? I didn’t have trauma in my childhood and nor did I have it at all. I know that I get angry a lot, but the rest of my emotions are “shallow”; for lack of better words. Is it because I’m detached? I have these erotic fantasies too that I’ve had for my whole life. To me they aren’t disturbing though. I thoroughly enjoy them but I don’t want to go to jail. This part could be PTSD related too but idk. I don’t hear voices either. So do you think it’s at all possible I have PTSD?

I have these erotic fantasies too that I’ve had for my whole life. To me they aren’t disturbing though. I thoroughly enjoy them but I don’t want to go to jail.

3Magnification

Major Depressive Disorder. poorly functional. I go to work. Medication resistant, i have tried them all. I have tried all the medications out there for depression and bipolar. Abilify etc. I have been seeing a therapist for eight years. She is highly respected in her field. I am in the process of changing therapist because I feel stuck and this is the only thing that I have not tried. I’ve seen several Psychiatrist and have been told this may be as good as it gets and I would just have to try and cope with it or find a way to transcend my depression. I fired this guy. I’m exhausted from this daily struggle. occasionally think of suicide. cant hurt my kids that way. I am thinking about ECT. but am afraid. I don’t know how to find the best dr for this and am afraid of cognitive loss, memory loss. I also have learning disabilities and ADD. So I don’t want to aggravate these conditions. I am also aware that my depression could be causing the learning disa and ADD or at least making them worse. I feel like I’m on a merry go round with this. How safe and effective is ECT?

Medication resistant, i have tried them all. I have tried all the medications out there for depression and bipolarI don’t know how to find the best dr for this and am afraid of cognitive loss, memory loss.

4Fortune-telling

From Canada: Hello, Last week, I thought I was smelling things that were not there – turns out there were mostly sources for the smells, though I did not smell anything like rotten fish, eggs or anything drastic. On Friday, I read on the internet that smelling things that are not there can be one of the early signs of developing Schizophrenia. From reading that, I got scared and started worrying I was developing Schizophrenia. I went to the doctor on Friday to talk about bloating and headaches, he did a neuro test, and he said that I was fine. However,  I smelled some stuff in my room, but I figured it was cause my room was being messy, but recalling back to the article, I was worried that it was Schizophrenia. I do not have the smell issues anymore.

From reading that, I got scared and started worrying I was developing Schizophrenia.

7Overgeneralization

I’m 18 years old and preparing to go to university for psychiatry. I have asthma, eczema, ADD and something that seems similar to restless legs syndrome. As I was taking a course on psychiatric disorders, I started to notice that a lot of the things associated with OCD applied to me. I may be just a hypochondriac or something, but I was hoping you could help me with that. I bite my nails, cuticles, and the skin around my nails constantly. I bite my bottom lip and the inside of my mouth. I find that I need to scroll down on a webpage 5 lines at a time, and it bothers me when a word doesn’t quite fit on a line when I’m writing. I tug at my nails too and run things under them all the time (hairclips, toothpicks, etc). I also pick at scabs on my scalp (I have eczema, the scabs are already there) and on my legs (bug bites).

2No Distortion

My parents have been married for around 18 years and about one year ago they haven’t seen eye to eye. My dad is a type of teacher who teaches people about having positive attitudes, etc. He’s started trying to make everything opptimistic in his life, but there’s some conflict with my mother. She’s often pessimistic and only thinks about how thing’s effect her. She always blames people for things that go wrong, even if it’s out of thier control. Plus, she rarely blames herself. My mom is very resistant to change and doesn’t like to do anything new. Though, she sometimes does different things. She’s very possesive of her things and doesn’t like to share. My mom always has to be in control and know everything, even though she doesn’t tell us everything. She takes after her father who has a simualar personality. Anyways, my parents haven’t been getting along and I’m worried that things will end badly. My mom has said she will try to change, but I haven’t seen any improvement. What should they do or what can I do?

Anyways, my parents haven’t been getting along and I’m worried that things will end badly.

4Fortune-telling

Happening quite often now (2-3 time a day). I feel like my mind is not able to process anymore and its going to explode (no headache, but heavyness). I feel very heavy inside. When it’s not happening, i feel nothing, everything normal. But when it starts it feels like the processing power of my brain is limited and the input coming is too much, you will say difficulty in reading or writing but NO, that not it…everything is normal. I am not able to explain it well. My head will start to feel heavy and things become too difficult.

I feel like my mind is not able to process anymore and its going to explode (no headache, but heavyness). I feel very heavy inside. When it’s not happening, i feel nothing, everything normal. But when it starts it feels like the processing power of my brain is limited and the input coming is too much, you will say difficulty in reading or writing but NO, that not it…everything is normal. I am not able to explain it well. My head will start to feel heavy and things become too difficult.

1Emotional Reasoning

Basically, I’ve come in search of help with anger management. I was raised with very strict, religious, over protective parents who constantly had violent arguments, taught me to shut down my emotions and to not express my feelings (at least not in healthy ways), taught me that the world is a dangerous, untrustworthy place, and that I cannot trust anyone. As a result, I have grown up to be very nervous, very shy, unable to trust others, unable to express love easily, unable to deal with negative thoughts or emotions in a productive fashion, afraid to be independent in the world, and constantly feel like I can’t make something successful of myself. I wasn’t always like this. I remember in my early childhood that I loved to socialize, explore the world, learn, I had dreams that I honestly thought I could reach. I was more positive, hopeful, and optimistic. Now, I feel as though all I ever feel is anger. I’m so restless. I want to do something, have fun, grow up , stop being so shy, and improve as a person, but, I don’t know where to start. And with my parents not permitting me to go out on my own, or even express my feelings to them without them thinking I’m possessed or something, I feel trapped.I’m not a bad kid. I’m sure of that. I mess up here and there but I really try. Ask anyone. I’ve been obedient, respectful, polite, patient for as long as I can remember, but, lately, only with my parents, have I been lashing out at. Of course, not physically, but I have been getting more violent recently. I’ve gotten into the habit of breaking things around me when I’m angry and just screaming and crying. It’s scaring me. I don’t want to hurt anyone. My parents have done so much for me, and I know they have tried their best at raising me, but, I can’t help but blame them for how I turned out and feel angry at them. Maybe it’s my fault and I’m too ashamed to accept that so I take it out on them? I just need guidance. I need a plan, a place to start. I hate this feeling of cluelessness as it makes me feel breathless and trapped. Thank you for listening to his wacky 16 year old rant.

As a result, I have grown up to be very nervous, very shy, unable to trust others, unable to express love easily, unable to deal with negative thoughts or emotions in a productive fashion, afraid to be independent in the world, and constantly feel like I can’t make something successful of myself.

1Emotional Reasoning

Hi, I have suffered a lot of failures back to back in a short space of time (3 years). I now feel hopeless. I am lost and my life is drifting. I would like to know what practical steps I can take to re-engage with the world and to form dreams/goals again and to start trying to achieve them.

Hi, I have suffered a lot of failures back to back in a short space of time (3 years).

9Mental filter

From the U.S.: Hello, my newlywed husband and I have had the fairy tale relationship- a kind I have dreamt about. Recently, his grandmother passed away after a lengthy fight against numerous medical conditions. He was extremely close to her. Originally, I believe he was shocked, and just cried into me. However, a week later, he became angry over the simplest things and threatened to leave me if I didn’t do XYZ (clean the house better, etc.). He had never said anything of the kind before. The next day he apologized and life was back to normal for a week. He said he loves me and can’t wait for our life together and is never going anywhere.

2No Distortion

I am wondering what stage of breakup I am in. Breakup occurred three weeks ago, had been five years with him. I’m starting to accept the reality, but I’m wondering if I’m still in denial and have the other four stages of grief to go through. He (former boyfriend) blindsided me with the breakup, it was sudden. I have spent many days being extremely upset and wanting him to contact me and tell me he regrets that decision. While I still hope he eventually regrets it, I feel like I’m starting to accept he is gone and let go. This would mean I skipped the anger, bargaining, and depression stages of grief and I can’t imagine I’d be in acceptance this early. However, I don’t feel like I’m in shock as much, and I am consciously telling myself the relationship is over and I need to move on. Does this mean I’m still in denial? Or does it seem like I am transitioning to a different stage?

2No Distortion

I had my third and last baby 9 months ago. I have 3 girls. I have longed for a boy and will never have one. My sister and brother in law had their first child and it’s a boy. I was/am heartbroken. It’s the first grandchild that’s a boy so it’s a hot topic. On top of it all, I just found out my sister in law went in to the hospital with zero pain and was fully dilated and had the baby. I went through 3 very hard medicated difficult deliveries. I am relieved it all went safely for them but I cannot overcome this feeling of sadness and jealousy. I don’t even want to go and see the baby cause I cannot bear hearing any of the “easy delivery” comments and first boy comments. I feel terrible but it is how I feel. And it hurts.

I am relieved it all went safely for them but I cannot overcome this feeling of sadness and jealousy. I don’t even want to go and see the baby cause I cannot bear hearing any of the “easy delivery” comments and first boy comments.

3Magnification

I’m 12 and have been caught lying many times. I want to stop, but I don’t know how. My mom is on the verge of disowning me. I cry everyday, and try to stop but it just comes out. I feel as if I have to lie because I’m scared of the outcome. I have tried communicating this problem with my parents but they refuse to understand. I have attempted suicide, because I am sick of life. Please, please help before I either kill myself, or my mom disowns me.

I feel as if I have to lie because I’m scared of the outcome. Please, please help before I either kill myself, or my mom disowns me.

1Emotional Reasoning

I have been having this “problem” for a while. Initially I didn´t think it was bad, I just thought it was part of my personality. However, I have seen, for a few years, that it is an obstacle. I don´t seem to understand feelings. I know, in theory, what they are, but when i have to interpret them or understand why they are happening, I get confused and frustrated. I have emotions and feelings, that much I know. I usually see the world in a more logical manner, as much as possible, but i can’t run from feelings and when an emotional situation occurs (with me or others) i try to put it together but it’s too complex for me, which I think it’s odd because other people around me comprehend them so easily. For example, I know how anger, happiness, etc, looks like, but in a real-life situation, I can’t understand them or why people express them with such ease. Maybe it’s a skill that I should have learned when I was a kid? Should I tell someone? (from Portugal)

2No Distortion

I have a problem with my past, but I don’t know what kind it is if any. I just know that I had a really happy early childhood until age seven when I moved to a new school I didn’t like and my grandmother got diagnosed with dementia so my mom was never around much for a few years. I remember resentment for my grandmother, but I’m over that now. She is still alive after about a decade if you can believe that.

I just know that I had a really happy early childhood until age seven when I moved to a new school I didn’t like and my grandmother got diagnosed with dementia so my mom was never around much for a few years.

0All-or-nothing thinking

My problem started when i started seriously training in ballet. I loved ballet and considered it my life. Around the age of 12 my mother made it seem to me that ballet was the only thing i could do in my life and i had no other option but to do it. Ballet made me hate myself, i constantly felt like i was not good enough and even my teachers would tell me i wasnt good enough. So i quit ballet and everything went downhill from there. I made a bad decision just like im sure every teenager has done once in their life. I went to hang out with friends during the day without telling my parents when i moved 1000 ft away. instead of being grounded for a week or two i was told all of these horrible things such as your a failure, your a disappointment, your a whore, your a slut, no one likes you, your trash, you have no real friends, kill yourself. Ever since then (that was around 6 months ago) ive been told that every day. My whole life has been one bad event after an other and nothing ever seems to get better. I have no one to talk to about how i feel and dont know how to fix this. I feel like nothing will ever be better for me and im starting to believe that i am what my mom tells me. I cry every day for at least 4 hours. I dont sleep at night anymore. I eat junk food constantly. I however have still managed to focus in school and get good grades because i know if i do that the closer ill be to leaving my parents and finding happiness. These past 6 months I’ve never felt worse and things haven’t worked out for me in even the slightest bit. I feel like if im living in this house with someone who sees me a certain way and accuses me of being someone im not, the only way out is to kill myself. Ive tried many times but get stopped by fear. I have been to a therapist once before but my parents never allowed me back. I need something worth living for. All of my happiness has been taken from me. I dont know why they dont love me like i love them.

I feel like nothing will ever be better for me and im starting to believe that i am what my mom tells me.

4Fortune-telling

I’m 23 years old and I live with my parents. I keep lying to them about college. I want to major in dietetics but I keep having problems with chemistry and I need it to actually claim dietetics as my major and I’m taking the needed nutrition courses for it in the meantime. The problem though is that I need an internship for dietetics to gain experience and I can’t qualify for one until chemistry is passed. I keep lying to my parents about my graduation date. It happens without me even thinking about it! The lies just come out. Sometimes I just want to disappear and my self-esteem and confidence are at an all-time low. I feel pathetic because I’m also jealous of my 19-year-old cousin and 14-year-old brother. They know what they want to do with themselves and it took me this long to figure out what I want to do. My brother is seeing a therapist for his issues and I don’t want to add to the problems. I love my family too much to want to hurt them but every time my doubts pop into my head they sound like my entire family berating me and tearing me down even though I know they wouldn’t do that. I feel like I’m going to drive myself crazy! Disappointing them is my worst fear and I hate when I feel like I’ve done that. The year before that I had admitted to them I was lying about doing well in school and now I’ve lied to them again. I’m sorry I just needed to vent. I’d usually talk to my uncle about this but I thought I was already past all of this shit. My parents deserve a better daughter. One who doesn’t have all of these problems.

Sometimes I just want to disappear and my self-esteem and confidence are at an all-time low. My parents deserve a better daughter. One who doesn’t have all of these problems.

5Personalization

I have had 2 homosexual dreams but I am only aroused by women. Gay thought keep coming to mind, but I truly hate it. What is wrong with me? I just woke up from a 2nd gay dream. In Dream 1, a man tried to have sex with me, after I followed a woman into a shower, but I ran away from the man. In Dream 2, I tried to kiss a girl but i ended up kissing my best friend (a dude), but in the dream I hated it also. I constantly have homosexual thoughts during the day but tune them out. They do not arouse me. I dream about women constantly and the thought of man on man action does not turn me on. I love my friend, but not in that way. Am I gay?

2No Distortion

I don’t really know how to describe it, but I sort of crave negative attention. Not as in “prefers negative over no attention”, but that I receive some strange gratification over receiving negative attention, even over positive. To clarify it’s nothing sexual, I don’t engage in that sort of behavior, and I still feel unhappy over negative attention- but I enjoy that feeling of unhappiness. I sort of indulge in the feeling that comes during an emotional fallout with someone. In short, I “enjoy unhappiness”. I know that’s unhealthy, but I don’t seem to be fufilled from positive attention only. Why? (From the USA)

I know that’s unhealthy, but I don’t seem to be fufilled from positive attention only.

6Should statements

From a teen in Egypt: When i was a child i was sexually abused and when my father found out he didnt do anything. i tried to move on and i think i have although i behave in ways that make me wonder if it has affected me. i am left in an infinite circle of questions and now 6 mmonths ago i was diagnosed with a rare type of cancer. i just finished chemo and im getting better but im scared of whats next if my childhood was crap and the time im 18 is cancer how about 21? What will that be like? am i gonna lose a fucking limb or someone i love. i just wanna know how to fix this and the anxiety attacks i get

i just finished chemo and im getting better but im scared of whats next if my childhood was crap and the time im 18 is cancer how about 21?

7Overgeneralization

I’ve had depression for a very very long time but lately it has escalated. I’ve been suicidal for quite a while but now my thoughts aren’t my own. they’re like a separate voice in my head. instead of my own thinking it’s a whole other voice I can’t control. it says the only way it will go away is if I’m hurting myself. I have been clean for a month so I don’t want to but it’s not even my own thought. I don’t know if this is a sign of early schizophrenia or not.

2No Distortion

From the U.S.: My stepkids don’t exactly hate me or their mother, but they say it and that we’re the worst anytime we put them in time out or ground them when they are being violent towards each other or us (which is encouraged by their birthfather). It just drives me up the wall knowing that they spy for him and his mother (who is the only one who actually uses his visitations because he’s too busy playing videogames and dating to actually spend time with them). They promote that when over there, the kids are totally in charge and that no one has to look out for them as well as money being more important than people or morals.

It just drives me up the wall knowing that they spy for him and his mother (who is the only one who actually uses his visitations because he’s too busy playing videogames and dating to actually spend time with them).

8Mind Reading

From Brasil: My wife is a brilliant lady and she loves me very much, so do I. I married her 4 years back without the knowledge of my parents as they were against this marriage. She was from a different country and the only way she could live with me was by marrying me to have a visa. Being an emotional person i agreed to marry her at the age of 26 unwillingly.

2No Distortion

I’ve always felt sort of off. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was in kindergarten and was almost immediately medicated. Things were fine until 8th grade when a boy left me and I spiraled into depression and self harm. Then in freshman year a boyfriend sexually assaulted me by saying that if I loved him I would let him do things. That messed me up more. Now it’s senior year and I don’t want to get out of bed. I shut down at the slightest hint of hostility or annoyance that someone directs towards me. I have thought running through my head telling me that people don’t like me and that I am doing things wrong and am being judged for them. I am scared to say things for fear that people will be upset. I pick at my skin and hair until my face and/or cuticles bleed. I continuously feel bored and numb. I feel as though I can’t get excited or aroused by things anymore despite that never being an issue before. I feel like this feeling has been growing since I was 13 and now it’s finally peaking and I don’t know what it is or what to do and I feel as though I am losing my mind. I just want to know what is going on with me.

I have thought running through my head telling me that people don’t like me and that I am doing things wrong and am being judged for them. I am scared to say things for fear that people will be upset. I pick at my skin and hair until my face and/or cuticles bleed. I continuously feel bored and numb. I feel as though I can’t get excited or aroused by things anymore despite that never being an issue before.

8Mind Reading

I am a straight girl who is only attracted to homosexual men. As a child, of course, I had crushes on straight celebrities, but as I’ve gotten older and have begun actually trying to have relationships with others, I cannot seem to stay attracted to straight men. Being physically attracted to heterosexuals is one thing, but after I get to know them, I am turned off. This has happened more times than I can count. I love gay men. Even if they’re not flamboyant, there’s something about a homosexual man that I am so attracted to.

2No Distortion

My relationship with my mother in law is dragging me down. She routinely criticizes, slights, and insults me. This is usually done in a sly enough manner that it’s hard to challenge her behavior directly without feeling as though I’m overreacting. It’s her attitude that’s the problem. She has been condescending and catty from day one of our marriage. I believe she lives under a lot of self-imposed guilt and when she sees me being happy and carefree, it activates her anxieties and she wants to bring me down.

This is usually done in a sly enough manner that it’s hard to challenge her behavior directly without feeling as though I’m overreacting. I believe she lives under a lot of self-imposed guilt and when she sees me being happy and carefree, it activates her anxieties and she wants to bring me down.

5Personalization

From the U.K.: I’m engaged to be married to the love of my life. We really love each other so much and are due to marry very soon. I have issues with fear of abandonment which stem from my childhood. My father died and my mother didn’t really want me, she called me her burden. She frequently threatened to leave home and would go off for hours at a time. No wonder I struggle with fears of abandonment. Everyone I’ve ever cared for has gone one way or another.

No wonder I struggle with fears of abandonment. Everyone I’ve ever cared for has gone one way or another.

7Overgeneralization

I have issues with many things, but right now I’m worried that I have an ID issue. I think I am going through Moratorium, but since I’ve been in foreclosure for a while- I feel very weird. Not to mention that I have literally modeled my entire personality after an idea of what I think a specific celebrity is like. I am scared. I dropped out to play guitar, but now I’m questioning everything that’s “me”. My career choice, gender identity, mannerisms, the stories and jokes I tell, the way I dress, my sense of humor- everything. I think I know why I modeled my entire life and self after this person- because all my role models growing up kind of sucked, I had a crush on this celebrity, and I felt like I was doing nothing and I really didn’t have a drive to do anything anyway. So when I was about 11-12, I started acting like them, and instantly I couldn’t stop. Now it’s just who I am. I’ve questioned it before but it scared me too much to think about, so I forgot about it. And I’m afraid that I’m obsessed with them, or that I might try to hurt them for some reason, or maybe that there’s not really a real “me”, or that I’m still that overweight, gross, depressed, talentless and ignored kid I was in grade school. I don’t know how to label this, but I don’t have access to any kind of help, and I’ve been travelling for years so any answer you give me will be welcome…

Not to mention that I have literally modeled my entire personality after an idea of what I think a specific celebrity is like. And I’m afraid that I’m obsessed with them, or that I might try to hurt them for some reason, or maybe that there’s not really a real “me”, or that I’m still that overweight, gross, depressed, talentless and ignored kid I was in grade school.

7Overgeneralization

The relationship between me and my mom is quiet difficult to describe and understand. At one point we often laugh and talk together, when I want a hug she’s the first person I’m going to, but at the same time she’s the only person that I actually fell deep hatred towards. For already 4 years now she’s been slowly damaging my mental health and I can’t do anything about it. When I was 13 I started being completely unmotivated for an unknown reason which led to me laying in my bed for 90% of my free time, not studying etc. The only thing she said was: ‘You’re acting like you’re depressed. I have to warn you – no child of mine will be mentally ill, so I hope you’ll get out of that immediately’. I never spoke to her about my real feelings, only some minor things, like stuff that happened during day, a book or a movie. She doesn’t know how I feel, at all, but I’m sure she can somewhat sense that I’m not doing okay.

She doesn’t know how I feel, at all, but I’m sure she can somewhat sense that I’m not doing okay.

8Mind Reading

I was raped when I was nine years old. The abuse I suffered lasted for several months, but I have only a handful of memories, like brief flashes, and some of them are not even visual. I am so mad at myself for not being able to remember more, it makes me feel like maybe I’m making the whole thing up. I also hate that when I think of my abuse directly, I mostly feel numb. Replaying the memories in my head doesn’t upset me, I feel nothing at all. My problem is that I am obsessed with rape. I can’t stop compulsively seeking out movies and tv shows with rape in them. I don’t get pleasure from this, instead it’s like a form of self-harm. I get so hysterically upset from watching rape scenes, they give me what I call “emotional flashbacks” where I feel like it’s happening to me now, and I can feel all of the emotions that I felt during my own rape. I don’t know why I do this because it hurts me so much, and it takes hours to recover from. It’s like I need to trigger myself with these scenes and feel these things in order to prove to myself that my experiences were real, since my memories are so pathetic and easy to doubt. I usually feel so numb about my abuse, triggering myself like this is the only way I can make myself feel. I can’t stop, I think about rape all the time, it’s always in the back of my mind, and whenever I hear about a rape scene in a movie, I look it up right away, even though I know that doing so will hurt me. Why do I do this? What’s wrong with me? (age 24, from UK)

I am so mad at myself for not being able to remember more, it makes me feel like maybe I’m making the whole thing up. I also hate that when I think of my abuse directly, I mostly feel numb.

5Personalization

Hello, Thank you for answering my questions/concerns. I’m an eighteen year old girl whose very confused about herself and had to grow up way too fast and just keeps her problems to herself because no one will understand, I know you would like to get to the root, so I will just get to the point. 1) When I am in a bathroom, I feel someone is going to come out of the stalls and kill me. Also, if I am an elevator or a large hall by myself, I begin to feel pressure in my face and body to the point where I have to put hands over my ears like a child and is paralyzed. However, when I see another person, I instantly am better, the pressure is gone and everything. I have been like this for a long time. My mother laughs and just think I am acting like a little girl. But I know that their is something wrong here. Whats up with that? 2)I am very socially weird and growing up I heard sex is just something that will damn you to hell if you do it, because you get pregnant. In high school I was a virgin and did everything perfect and didn’t want to look bad in the eyes of the lord or others. However, my hormones would kick in. SEX!! I couldn’t stop the feeling. I needed it like air. When I would make out with guys, a weird sensation would happen and I would breathe heavily ( not like I am having an asthma attack or anything I was just fine) and just tremble like I am gasping for air. Even when I thought about it too much it would happen either before or after I would make out with a guy or even think about it. 3) Lastly, I have voices that talk to me in my head. There is eight of them inside of me. They all have names and personalities of there own. Bobbi is the bad one and he makes me want to hurt other…just impulses to kill someone or just choke them. Phoebe is a sexual predator and will want to kidnap someone to make them her personal play toy….the others are harmless but enhance my mood to their personality. But when I am stressed they tend to take over.

I am very socially weird and growing up I heard sex is just something that will damn you to hell if you do it, because you get pregnant.

6Should statements

I am usually good at handling my problems and just push through my day but now these issues feel like I need to do something else. When I’m in school I think I’m doing just fine then get a letter saying I need to take summer school because I failed my classes. I want to change the way I think but I just end up feeling like I’m trapped, then leave it for another day to escape from the feeling of sinking. I have been doing this all my life and seems to be the only way I keep myself feeling good and not just upset at what I have to deal with. My teachers tell me just go to extra help, get a tutor, stay after school…all of these are great ideas but I cant just accept help. I feel stressed out for no reason when ever some tries to help and tell me things I NEED to do. I understand I need help but what can I do to make myself get it and not just brush it off, acting like it wont stab me in the back ? (age 17, from US)

2No Distortion

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now. We had a good start but then my boyfriend started complaining that I wasn’t giving him his emotional needs. I first didn’t realize what he needed and he kept complaining and fighting for the past 2 years and I only understood and matured lately. I’ve been trying to give him what he needs for the past 2 months but he won’t open up. A few days ago, he admitted to me that he was emotionally cheating on me and that he just figured it out and he kept apologizing and crying, begging for my forgiveness and telling me he’d give me whatever I needed but that he didn’t want us to break up because he couldn’t bare losing me. He admitted he was totally wrong and that he had no excuses but the reason it happened was that he wasn’t getting what he needed from me and he swore he never went looking for his needs elsewhere and he kept pushing the girl away but he got weak after a while. My boyfriend has never been unfaithful and I know he loves me insanely, he’s just over friendly with girls and I honestly find it really difficult to deal with, because I’m very insecure, because I find his behavior exceeding “limits”, and especially that he wouldn’t accept me to behave this way around guys.

2No Distortion

I come from a family history of multigenerational parental sexual and emotional abuse as well as NPD and severe depression/anxiety issues. Keeping a healthy relationship with my both my parents takes a lot of emotional energy and requires me to sometimes be the parental figure in the situation, especially with my mother. It has required years of therapy and spiritual investment to maintain a forgiving outlook.

2No Distortion

Okay before I start I’m 20yrs old, living with my mother and father and 4 other siblings. As far back as I can remember, he constantly abused me mentally and physically to the point I’m traumatized and scared all over my body espically my face. I don’t want to turn to the police because he is only like that with me alone. he is a great father to my siblings. However when it comes to me, he hates me. He said I was a curse brought upon him by god and one day he will kill me and get rid of it. and indeed he abused me to the point I blanked out and passed out, and became crippled for a while. I would move out, but I don’t have the money for that nor do I have the job. Whenever I get I job, I take too many “sick days” out because of the bruises and scarring on my face are hard to hide. also because of the same reason I’m failing college. I don’t do anything to aggravate him, in fact I try to avoid him seeing me (since just seeing me aggravates him) but he would find me and abuse me for any or no reason at all. I started cutting my wrists in order to numb the pain in the rest of my body. and I don’t know what to do. Please give me advice, please!

2No Distortion

I married 18 years ago with 1 child. 20 years ago I loved one of my classmates, but I didn’t have any attraction to him. At that time he did not have any idea how to make a relationship with any woman. That hurt me a lot so I married with my husband who loved me and tried 3 years to date with me. One year ago I found my love and we started a relationship. We live in two different countries, but we visit each other in a third country for the first time after 20 years. Both of us paid a lot of money to see each other and at that time I had unforgettable sex with him. I cannot avoid him. He has all I need and want. He is showing me how much he is regretful about the past. Both of us feel amazing and we want to keep this relationship but both of us have family and we cannot avoid them. My husband is a very nice guy and I do not have any problem with him but I decided to marry him only because I did not get any good feedback from my love at that time. Me and my love are both very responsible for our families but we decide to stay together. The sense we get is wonderful even though we are far from each other, but we talk every day and he is trying very hard to qualify to immigrate to the country where I live. Like he started learning English to get a English language certificate. My question is how we can continue this relationship without affecting our family? Is it possible? Also I would like to tell you both of us have Masters degrees and we never had this kind of relation in our life. And base of our personality and job position and family situation no one can guess that we fell in love. We are both very logical and reasonable people, but we both do not know how we can handle this love. Please avoid religious advice because it will not help. Thanks in advance.

2No Distortion

From the U.S.: I hate to be seen in public, I am very self conscious. I always feel like I am fat. I always think of worst case scenarios, for example, my husband will leave to go to the store and I’ll worry that he’ll get in car accident. I worry a lot that my children will hate me when their older. When ever someone asks me for advice I am always negative. I get angry over nothing. I hate it. Anything will set me off such as just having to repeat myself will make me extremely upset. I have a hard time falling asleep at night because I am afraid someone will brake in and kill me while I’m sleeping. I will think about a situation over and over in my head and I have to tell my self constantly to stop thinking about it because I get so upset mostly thinking that I looked like an idiot.

I always feel like I am fat. I always think of worst case scenarios, for example, my husband will leave to go to the store and I’ll worry that he’ll get in car accident. I worry a lot that my children will hate me when their older. When ever someone asks me for advice I am always negative. I get angry over nothing. I hate it. Anything will set me off such as just having to repeat myself will make me extremely upset. I have a hard time falling asleep at night because I am afraid someone will brake in and kill me while I’m sleeping. I will think about a situation over and over in my head and I have to tell my self constantly to stop thinking about it because I get so upset mostly thinking that I looked like an idiot.

4Fortune-telling

I am 20 years old and I have recently been diagnosed with severe depression. For some time now, I have also been having trouble with anxiety (panic attacks), self-harm, alcohol abuse and suicidal thoughts. Recently, when my doctor asked me about a specific event that may have caused my mental health issues, I didn’t know what to answer. However, later that day I had a flashback – one specific scene about me as a child lying on the ground, frozen, and a guy from my school, naked, forcing himself on me. I remember having the exact same flashback every now and then for many years now. Until now, I always feared going to the gynecologist, thinking s/he may find out about what I had been doing or even find that I was pregnant (despite the fact it was years before I had had my first period). The problem is, I don’t know what really happened. I cannot remember anything else about the incident and when I was younger I also had nightmares about it, making me question whether it had been a nightmare all along. Plus, I would have been between 5 and 10 years old when it happened (I have some issues with my childhood memory) and the guy from this scene was from my class. He was, at most, 1 year older than me. How do I know if all of this really happened? And is child sexual abuse between children (with the same age) even possible? (From Germany)

2No Distortion

I have been married for 12 years to a 43year old woman, who has been diagnosed with bipolar. She was diagnosed in 2003 .Most of the symptoms were present throughout our married life together. She refuses to take her medication or receive any medical treatment, since her diagnoses. The last three years have been the greatest trouble for me. To be honest with you looking back on our relationship I would say the last 10 years have been a challenge. We have three children, two boys and one girl, ages 12, 10 and 5 and it has been hardest on them. In January 2006 I made the decision to leave the relationship. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

2No Distortion

For a while now, my friend and neighbor has asked for advice and said she wanted to help herself and better her life. She has struggled her whole life. Her husband has repeatedly cheated on her. The first time they were married he had 2 children with another woman yet she kept taking him back. He has been to jail more than once and has never maintained a stable job. He disappears for days at a time and she does not know where has been or with whom. She married him as second time. He just returned from jail after 3 years (and she had said she was going to tell him he cant stay at her house) and she says they are just friends now but she see nothing wrong with continuing to keep him in her life and allow him to stay at her house. She has always let people run all over her. People are always taking advantage of her. And in her mind, she is supposed to keep forgiving him and letting him in her life because that’s what Christ would want. I have tried to explain to her she can forgive and should for herself but that he is not healthy in her life. He has never treated her with enough respect to try and be a functional citizen. He always runs off. I recommended she get some professional help to see why she keeps allowing herself to be manipulated and taken advantage of. But she does not believe he is taking advantage of her and manipulating her. She has a problem thinking she can save everyone but she cannot even save herself. How do I get my friend to see she needs some professional help to learn how to deal with letting go of people who mistreat her and take advantage of her?

2No Distortion

Last year my husband said he knew this girl who needed our help. She had what appeared to be an abusive boyfriend. My husband wanted to help this girl, and I agreed- why not help a person who needs some support. However, soon I became excluded from the help. That is,my husband was the main one interacting with her. He would send emails, meet, exchanged gifts- I was NEVER allowed to be apart of this. My husband was acting like he was having an affair. He was lying to me. He was buying secret phones to call this “girl”. He insulted me,said things to me that one would not even say to their worst enemy. Once he had to go to the hospital. He gave me instructions for taking care of his mother, brother, daughter,and this girl- no parting words for me. The painful examples can go on and on.

My husband was acting like he was having an affair. He was lying to me.

1Emotional Reasoning

From the U.S.:I don’t have a maternal instinct toward babies. I can’t even confidentially say I find them cute. Whenever I’m around kids I feel uncomfortable. I don’t know how to act around them or bring myself down to their level. I can’t do baby talk and I can’t talk simply enough for them to understand me.

2No Distortion

I am a sophomore in high school, and since middle school I have had suicidal thoughts, and attempted about twice. But that is not the heart of my current issue. Last year, I started having homicidal thoughts as well. I have thoughts of planting a bomb in my school, or walking into my school or mall or church with a rifle and opening fire. I have no reason to want this, I am not bullied, nor is there anyone I outright hate and want to make dead. To be clear, I do not have any intention of doing this, and this is in no way a threat to commit such an act. But the thought often dominates my thoughts. Planning out how such an attack would go, thinking about how the media would react, ect. These thoughts have started to interfere with my schoolwork.

But the thought often dominates my thoughts. Planning out how such an attack would go, thinking about how the media would react, ect.

8Mind Reading

Our 25 year old daughter is suffering and we feel helpless. She has struggled for many years with alcohol abuse, drugs and relationships. Her reaction to stress has increased significantly over the last months; melt-downs, destroying property, threatening with knives, excessive drinking, DUI, and severe depression. She refuses to go to the hospital for treatment although she has seen a specialist before. She is more and more becoming a danger to her own safety and those around her. When stressed or emotional she finds people who are enablers but leave her stranded in the most dangerous of places within inner. She has current issues with violations of public drunkenness, DUI, and now assault. What are our options as parents to get her the medical treatment she needs and to protect her and others even though she refuses to recognize or accept the dangers.

2No Distortion

I had naturally been apprehensive to meat when I was younger. I liked to eat, but I didn’t really like meat (aside from the taste). Then, 6th grade came along, and I started having problems: depression, (the past, not now) suicidal and many other things. Along with that, a lot of changes were entering my life: I was about to enter junior high, and I had insomnia. Then, I decided to become vegetarian and anorexic. To tell you the truth, I wasn’t a complete vegan at first. I was “98% vege”, meaning that I ate hotdogs/hamburgers/chicken nuggets/bacon/top ramen soup. In seventh grade, I became full-fledged vege, and continued to have problems. In eighth grade, I turned my life around, and was the food nazi: no food additives, no meat, healthy as you can be.

Then, I decided to become vegetarian and anorexic. To tell you the truth, I wasn’t a complete vegan at first. I was “98% vege”, meaning that I ate hotdogs/hamburgers/chicken nuggets/bacon/top ramen soup. In seventh grade, I became full-fledged vege, and continued to have problems. In eighth grade, I turned my life around, and was the food nazi: no food additives, no meat, healthy as you can be.

0All-or-nothing thinking

My Bf and I have been together for a little over a year. His mother passed away in Sept. after a tough battle with cancer. I was by his side through it all. She passed on Sept. 20, 2010. On Sept. 28, 2010 he and his father met with an insurance rep to discuss his mother’s long term care policy. On October 3-6 my bf would not talk to me. He would ignore my calls and emails. Then on Oct 7. He started talking to me again as if nothing had happened. When I asked why he hadn’t been talking to me he said he was sorry but that everything with his mom had “arrived at his front door”. I was understanding and sympathetic but I had a “gut” feeling that something wasn’t quite right. A couple of weeks later he was at my house and forgot to close his email…. yes I snooped.

2No Distortion

We’ve been together 7 years married 6. My husband is 31. I am 24. We separated almost a year due to untreated mental issues and infidelity. He was diagnosed bipolar and medicated now. Finally living together again I was excited to spice things up as that was his excuse for cheating. Now he claims his meds and our kids distract him from wanting sex. We’ve had sex maybe 8 times in 3 months and never intimate, quick, no kissing or eye contact. I found on his phone search history for all kinds of sexy teen, hot teen babe, most beautiful teens 2014, panty hose fetish teen miniskirt, etc. This crushed me. He claims to have no sex drive but goes and looks at that crap. I am not unattractive. 5’11 135 lbs, DD boobs — but his choices have made me feel worthless. He says he’s been battling these demons his whole life and it had nothing to do with me, but how am I supposed to feel when I am right here willing to fulfill his fantasies and he doesn’t even express a desire to be with me? Can you please help me make sense of this? I don’t have much heart left to break. The infidelity nearly killed me.  Please help. (age 24, from US)

5’11 135 lbs, DD boobs — but his choices have made me feel worthless.

10Labeling

I have been suffering from bulimia for four months now. I realize the health risks and I know I have a problem. I have been trying to stop for a month now with no success. Before this problem I was healthy and now I fear that all my hard work I have completed over the years to be a healthy person are going down the drain. To be honest I am not sure what started my ED, but my main focus is to overcome it. I know that I have some self esteem issues and I will continue to work on that, but do you have any advice or tricks to stop these behaviors that have seemed to become habitual and uncontrollable. I know that getting professional help is probably the best way to go, but that is not me. I have always dealt with my problems in the past and I would like to give this a shot. So if you have any suggestions or tips to help me slowly stop these bulimic behaviors I would appreciate it so much.

I have been suffering from bulimia for four months now. I realize the health risks and I know I have a problem. I have been trying to stop for a month now with no success. Before this problem I was healthy and now I fear that all my hard work I have completed over the years to be a healthy person are going down the drain.I know that I have some self esteem issues and I will continue to work on that, but do you have any advice or tricks to stop these behaviors that have seemed to become habitual and uncontrollable.I have always dealt with my problems in the past and I would like to give this a shot.

6Should statements

From Vietnam: I am having a lot of problem in my relationship recently. And it seem to be the same problems that happened in my last relationships too. I had many broken heart relationships in the past too. I feel like I can’t handle a normal long term relationship. When things are normal and perfect, I tend to start ruining it and getting anxious. I start picking up a fight or being unreasonable and non sense to my girlfriend. Luckily I haven’t made any serious damage yet because I try to hold it up but it’s just escalate more and more in my action and behaviour until I brought us down together. Then I feel satisfy and guilty.

I feel like I can’t handle a normal long term relationship.

7Overgeneralization

From Germany: My boyfriend is in his early 40s, but has never had a relationship that lasted more than 3 years and has never been married. He is very smart, has a great job and supports his family back at home, however, he seems to have a dominating and criticizing mother. He says he was verbally and even physically abused by her and once they even spent a year not talking to each other.

2No Distortion

From Canada: I’ve always felt different, and I’ve hated myself for it, but that’s in the past. And even then, despite hating myself for being different, when other people didn’t understand me, I always thought that there was something wrong with them for not understanding, even more so when they bullied me for it. I have a general dislike for people because of this, and presently, I do not initiate a relationship. I do, however, have healthy relationships with other people, and I keep a close friendship with a few people.

I’ve always felt different, and I’ve hated myself for it, but that’s in the past. And even then, despite hating myself for being different, when other people didn’t understand me, I always thought that there was something wrong with them for not understanding, even more so when they bullied me for it.

10Labeling

I ran across an email confession from my spouse. My spouse talked about all the things I do that piss them off. How I am a dead beat and how my ptsd is just an excuse and how they feel trapped in doing anything because of it. Talked about the times I tried to commit suicide about it, about how they wanted to leave me due to my ptsd. But told that they know if they told me they wanted a divorce then they would lose the house, because i own the house. There was a lot of anger in the email, lots of perception that they had that wasn’t 100% true. Lots of resentment towards me. This i am sharing is the confession they wrote to their friends after bitching badly about me.

2No Distortion

Hello. I have been friend with a guy since grade 6th. We were in the same grade and best pals of each other. Two years back I realized that I love him unconditionally and what all we shared was not merely friendship but I had other feelings for him. First I thought the feelings were mutual and so did all our common friends told me. But when I proposed the GUY, he refused me and said he never felt so. And everybody, including his brother and cousin who are my good friends too, have taken his feelings for me wrongly. He was just a friend to me always and had no such feelings for me. He certainly stopped talking to me. No contacts at all for 8 months. But I still loved him n I still do. I was always concerned about him. So kept a detail about him through his brother and friends but he fought with them too. At a point of time he broke all his ties with everyone and entered a new life.

2No Distortion

From a woman in the U.S.: I had a therapist for 8 years and she knew literally everything about me. I had to stop seeing her 3 years ago when I entered a DBT program. I knew in my head it was probably best to move on and not return to her. However, I still miss her terribly. I know she was in my life for a reason, and if I did go back to her, that’s going backwards and I want to move forward. She showed me a love that I’ve never gotten anywhere else. She was probably the most important person in my life – ever.

I knew in my head it was probably best to move on and not return to her.

6Should statements

From Dubai: Hello, I’m a girl from Middle East and I suffer a lot from everyone around me. I can’t even start with the main issue. But its related to my parents and family. They seem not to love and support me. They even don’t know my hobby and simple traits.

They seem not to love and support me.

8Mind Reading

My 10-year-old son has been repeatedly stealing. My husband and I have spoken about this with him several times. He always promises us that he will never ever do it again and that he has realised his mistake , but a couple weeks later he brings home something that is not his. He has so far been caught at a grocery store where he was forgiven, stole from me at home to buy few books. All our efforts have been futile. Today he bought home a couple of toys that he stole from his friends. We would like to take him to his teacher tomorrow and make him return the items, but fear that he will be socially scarred for life and worse, he may stoop in to do worse things for us exposing him to his freinds .. Please help. We are desperate parents and only want best for our child.

We would like to take him to his teacher tomorrow and make him return the items, but fear that he will be socially scarred for life and worse, he may stoop in to do worse things for us exposing him to his freinds

4Fortune-telling

From India: one month back I lost my best friend, He committed suicide. I feel as if he betrayed and left me alone, his parents alone. As a result of which for anything bad that happens in my life I blame him. Also currently my boyfriend is facing some very serious family issue and obviously he is sad about it so there is limited contact with him.

As a result of which for anything bad that happens in my life I blame him.

5Personalization

I was raped by my father repeatedly as a young boy, between the ages of 7-12. I was forced to wear dresses even before that, and I have since been afraid of men. I have 5 sisters and they were always safe. It was only myself that this happened to. Right now, I dress whenever I can as a princess or any other kind of little girl dresses. And I actually feel and become an 8 year old girl. I lose all track of time and can’t remember everything after I return to myself. But I am the most happiest and content when I can be this little 8 year old girl. My real childhood was an absolute horror, and I don’t understand what is happening to me. It seems like I cannot control it at all. Nobody else knows about my problem, but I wish I could just stay in the that 8 year old girl’s body, and keep wearing dresses and just play games knowing that I would always feel safe and happy. I have other people in my mind that also take control sometimes. But the little girl is the boss, and I do whatever she says. What is wrong with me, and should I be concerned? Please help, any advice would be extremely grateful. Thank you. (From the USA)

I was forced to wear dresses even before that, and I have since been afraid of men.

7Overgeneralization

From a teen in the U.S.: Just about anything can anger me now. Whether it is me stubbing my toe, my mom coughing or the neighbors making the tiniest bit of sound when taking out the trash. I used to be a volcano trying to erupt under ice, but now I’m a car that won’t stop running, and the only thing that keeps me going is adrenaline. I feel so angry about everything. About the people who bullied me, about my mom ignoring me, about my mom constantly checking her Facebook, about her rather going drinking with friends on a Friday, about everything. I am angry about every mistake that I have made, I am angry about every thing I’ve seen people do that was not okay, and I’m angry about every single thing that has been done to me, and I’m angry that these people are now “accomplished” and are happy with their crap lives. They have friends they go out with, they have always had friends, they have always had big smiles on their faces at school, but me? …

Just about anything can anger me now. Whether it is me stubbing my toe, my mom coughing or the neighbors making the tiniest bit of sound when taking out the trash

3Magnification

From the U.S.: We have just found out that our 1 year old grandchild is not our Son’s child. We have loved and bonded with this child and want to continue to be in his life. Our Son says he wants no further contact with this child. Are we being selfish to want to continue to see what we feel to be our grandchild?

2No Distortion

Through the time he finished high school, my son was considered to be very bright. We have never had to help him with school work, he was often the source of help to his friends in math, science and computers. His teachers loved the way he participated in class. He did well enough to get into a very elite school. At this elite school, expectations are high. Through 2 1/2 years he folds whenever faced with hard work and has had to repeat courses. He was even placed on academic probation for several months. When he went back, he did OK for one quarter and the back to the same problems. Each time, he seems to escape into video games, binge-watching TV serials, etc. We believe there is no reason to suspect substance abuse. He constantly lies about the status of his course work and then gets caught out in stupid ways when he ends up confessing. His friends love him and think highly of him but he avoids building strong relationships. There are probably only 1 or 2 friends he is in touch with regularly. How can we as parents help him see the light? Is there a mental health issue? He says he has seen a counselor but we can’t be sure he is telling the truth.

He constantly lies about the status of his course work and then gets caught out in stupid ways when he ends up confessing.

7Overgeneralization

From a young man int he U.S.:  I’m 26 years old disabled and my mother controls everything and lies about everything. I need help. My disabilities are depression, anxiety, PTSD. She won’t let me go anywhere without her, she won’t let me have anyone over at my house any more, she won’t let me drive anywhere anymore. I feel trapped.

I’m 26 years old disabled and my mother controls everything and lies about everything.

7Overgeneralization

I’m depressed but want to know if there’s anything majorly mentally wrong with me? I’ve never asked or had the courage to seek for help before, mainly because I don’t want to be a burden to people and feel my ‘problem’ (if I have one) isn’t important.

I’ve never asked or had the courage to seek for help before, mainly because I don’t want to be a burden to people and feel my ‘problem’ (if I have one) isn’t important.

3Magnification

Since I started college in a different state than my home, I isolated myself to focus on school; I decided that I would just focus on academics and not socialize. As a result, I have made no friends in college and there are days, and sometimes weeks, that go by where I don’t talk to a single person. What drove me to continue isolating myself like this was the fact that I was doing well academically. However, I started realizing that all this time in isolation forced me to constantly focus on negative thoughts and I saw a significant decrease in my cognitive ability; things I could previously do quickly in high school took a lot longer now. When I entered the fall semester of my sophomore year in college, the coursework really picked up and I saw myself doing poorly on one exam after another; it really took a toll on me and I just became more and more discouraged after each failure. The day I got a 27/100 on an organic chemistry exam was the day that it all went downhill. From this day onward, I don’t feel stress anymore; stress is what previously drove me to get my work done and do well on exams. My brain is preventing me from focusing now, because of how discouraged I have become. I spend hours upon hours studying, but I’m never efficient because I don’t feel stress; this has become a cycle and is really taking a toll on me. I can’t seem to figure out what’s wrong with me.

What drove me to continue isolating myself like this was the fact that I was doing well academically. However, I started realizing that all this time in isolation forced me to constantly focus on negative thoughts and I saw a significant decrease in my cognitive ability; things I could previously do quickly in high school took a lot longer now.

0All-or-nothing thinking

Today, I had to call the authorities on my boyfriend. He has been sharing these thoughts of his. The other day he messaged me saying his head was telling him to skin his (10-year-old) sister and his brother and taste their blood. I was at loss for words but I had been trying to get him to tell me what was wrong. A part of me kind of wishes I hadn’t asked. I want him to get some help. He has been cutting and punching things messing up his hands. I have always been suicidal so I can’t relate to him. I just want to try to understand. I’m so lost and confused imp worried I might say the wrong thing. I told my best friend and he told my dad. My dad said if he doesn’t get help then we can’t be together. Mind you I turn 18 in 2 months so what he says doesn’t matter. I’m just so scared. He has been controlling over me and even violent a couple of times. But when I confronted him about it he didn’t know he was doing anything wrong. He has PTSD from watching his twin brother die in front of him in a car wreck. He usually sat in the same seat but the day of the accident he switched seats with his brother. he blames himself because his dad blamed him before he passed away of cancer in prison for drug distribution. I’m kind of scared of him sometimes. I cut my hand on accident once cooking and his eyes when he seen the blood, he was like a completely different person. like he had no soul for a minute until he calmed down. he feels like killing people when they annoy him. and I’m always cautious around him now. But I’m in love with him. and I just want him to get help. I called his school. instead of calling the cops which is what the crisis team wanted me to do. and I talked to him. he has agreed to go to the hospital to get help. but I didn’t tell him I told the school and the school told his mom. I’m scared on how he will react to that. I just need some advice. I have no idea what to do. And now I’m getting some bad thoughts too. I have learned to control them. But I use drugs to help me. and he’s okay with it. he’s okay with me cutting and using drugs. I know that’s messed up. I just don’t know.

I know that’s messed up.

6Should statements

I’m 34, Chinese-German woman who just moved to Prague with my husband and two sons (age 2 and 4). We moved after my nervous breakdown of sorts. My husband got a good job here so i dont have to work and can focus on getting better. I had been working full-time in an extremely stressful job as well as looking after the children. I returned to work within a few months of each birth, despite being complicated and difficult birth of 2nd son and the sudden death of my mother when he was only a few months old. My husband was away traveling and I didn’t get to grieve properly.

2No Distortion

I am 22, and just suffering from depression. I do not know what has caused my depresssion or if there is a cause, however I have done lots of searching within myself. I have found that I have strange dreams and nightmares. I have had a reoccuring nightmare of being intimate with my father, not always involving sex, but being intimate. When I have this dream I feel guilty and scared. Every time I have the dream it feels like the first time, but then I remember that I’ve had the dream before and I pretend like I didn’t dream it. I have never asked anyone about this dream, I am too scared. I am afraid that it’s just a dream, but I am more afraid that it may have really happened. I struggle with trust issues, and I always have my entire life, especially with men. I do not know if this ties into these dreams? I am starting to feel awkward around my father. How do I make this dream stop, but most of all how do I know if it’s more than just a dream?

When I have this dream I feel guilty and scared.

5Personalization

My 32 year old daughter will frequently say, you don’t understand, when she is going through an issue. Most of the time I do understand as I have gone through similar incidents. She insists nobody understands, she is the only one experiencing a problem. If I try to tell her what worked for me, she immediately rejects anything I have to offer. Example: her 2 year son had his tonsils out, he was fussy, not drinking, spitting up his medicine. She was frustrated, sleep deprived, worried. I told her what I did when she had spinal meningitis, how I dealt with similar issues. She responded, “You don’t understand, I can’t talk to you about this.” She wants to do everything by herself, (she is a single parent with a non-involved father). She has a strong support group with offerings of help, but turns down every offer but then says she has to do everything herself. I was as single parent so I do understand. I did have to do everything myself as I had no support.

2No Distortion

I am 16 years old. The bad: Already, I am obsessed with massive amounts of fame and money. I obsess over money. I want to have acres and mansions to my name. I want to have everybody know my name around the world and have celebrities come to my parties held at my massive palace estate. I want to be chased by paparazzi and I want to be on every talk show every weekend. I always want to be the center of attention. I want to own numerous companies that dominate the industry they sit in. I am willing to work as hard as I need to in order to obtain all of this. I have a 4.2 gpa with AP Classes, in addition to being multitalented in design, art, fashion, dancing, and more. This leads me to have a self-inflated image of myself where I consider myself to be more special and better than everyone else. I keep telling myself it is these traits that will lead to my fame and success. I am obsessed with success. If I do not achieve what I hope I will (fame, money, status, etc.) I will feel ashamed and feel like a complete failure. I will have failed my entire meaning to exist. I hate being under power. The only person I will ever love and accept being ruled by is God. I feel emotion, but not a lot of it. This pains me. When the closest person who I loved the most passed away, I had to force myself with all my might to muster a tear. I will forever hate myself for this. I wish I felt more emotion. I feel empathy for others but not as much as I know I should. All of this (everything I wrote above) every part of it makes me feel disgusting. I know it’s not right, but I don’t know how to fix it. I feel guilty, yet I will still chase it all in the end anyways, all while feeling guilty. The good: I want my brothers and parents to be just as successful. I want to spend massive amounts of money on the homeless and those in need. I love animals and women, and consider them to be the most innocent forms of life. I want to open numerous charities to help those in need. Please tell me what is wrong with me.

I am obsessed with success. If I do not achieve what I hope I will (fame, money, status, etc.) I will feel ashamed and feel like a complete failure.

0All-or-nothing thinking

From the U.S.: I’ve been diagnosed with GAD. My past includes one episode of Major Depression. I have had anxiety as far back as my memory serves, into early childhood. I’ve also been court ordered , around twenty five years previously , to attend anger management counseling.

2No Distortion

From a teen in Australia: Lately I’ve been feeling no point to life and I can never think straight. My home life is horrible as i have an abusive older sister who i used to be very close with and now my parents always yell at me and call me the abusive one. I have often panic attacks, i vomited recently after a traumatic event and i can never walk away from my technology no matter how hard i try. My school life is also horrible as i feel that not even my closest friends trust and rely on me and i think i cant rely on them most of the time anyways.

My home life is horrible as i have an abusive older sister who i used to be very close with and now my parents always yell at me and call me the abusive one. I have often panic attacks, i vomited recently after a traumatic event and i can never walk away from my technology no matter how hard i try.

7Overgeneralization

From a teen in Wales: I can’t stop imagining the life I don’t have. This problem started maybe 5 years ago and has been getting more frequently noticeable. I mainly pick up on real life celebrities or social figures who I like and place myself in a situation with them.

I can’t stop imagining the life I don’t have.

7Overgeneralization

My older brother has diagnosed bipolar disorder with anger issues (amongst other undiagnosed issues) and has just lost his job again. He has a 5 year old son, is currently separated from his child’s mom, but is dating another woman. He was recently pulled over (he gets pulled over often for excessive speeding) and got caught with marijuana and a pipe. These aren’t even my causes of anxiety- it’s that he is causing so my stress to my parents. My mom is chronically ill, and my dad breast cancer last year. They have contact with my brother, as they have a great relationship with my nephew, but it is almost constant stress because of the things my brother gets into. He can’t keep a job because he falls asleep at his desk from his meds, shows up late from over sleeping, calls out too much, blows up on someone- you name the problem this time. I live 10 hours away by car, and every time my mom calls to tell me something has happened with him, I feel such guilt. 1. For living far away and feeling helpless. 2. For deciding to not have a relationship with my brother because I feel he is toxic. I want to help, but I don’t know what to do. I go back and forth between feeling like I should reach out to him and then mad that he never reaches out to me. I won’t be a part of a one-sided relationship, especially because he uses my parents and never apologizes.

I live 10 hours away by car, and every time my mom calls to tell me something has happened with him, I feel such guilt. 1. For living far away and feeling helpless. 2. For deciding to not have a relationship with my brother because I feel he is toxic.

5Personalization

From England: If I’m doing something new I get very anxious, because it is new I can’t accept it and deal with it as it comes, I have to make phone calls and send messages to find out everything so what comes is less of a surprise. I have even been known to reject some things in order to reduce the anxiety I was feeling and get back in control. This has led me to not having a job when I was capable of doing the training for it, it’s just that I can’t settle not knowing what things are all about before I start. I worry about how I will cope and how I will do things, plenty of what ifs and how’s, I know it isn’t the way, but I find myself doing these things and then feeling guilty if I’ve not completed them. I don’t regard myself as lazy,but I just want things to be simple so I can cope with them and the more complicated they seem the more pressure I put on myself to get out of the situation as quickly as poss.

I worry about how I will cope and how I will do things, plenty of what ifs and how’s, I know it isn’t the way, but I find myself doing these things and then feeling guilty if I’ve not completed them.

6Should statements

I can remember at least 3 incidents as a child, the main one being when I was around 7-9 (we were the same age). My friend and I used to play many sexual games — these included humping and kissing each other and examining each other. I remember feeling very guilty and sad about this — sometimes when I wouldn’t want to play anymore she would force me — however I was a very bossy child so I do not know how much of this was my initiative.

2No Distortion

I make a girl friend some six months ago and we planned to get married. then, some days ago I found that she had sexual relationships with two other guys, and now these revelations are killing me. I was perfectly happy man but now I think I am the most desperate person in the world. I am like dying out of grief and I cannot handle it. Every time I imagine her then the guy comes in my mind having sex with her and that movement, I wish I didn’t exist at all. Now I am in such situation that my love for her has tremendously increased but at the other hand, I think if I married her I would live the whole life thinking about that guy and will spoil my life and hers too. I simply want to forget her, but currently it seems impossible. Please suggest me something to get myself out of it because I don’t want to end up my life like this. I want to do something for humanity but currently, I am desperate, my life is full of pain and I don’t know how to get out of it. (From Pakistan)

then, some days ago I found that she had sexual relationships with two other guys, and now these revelations are killing me. I was perfectly happy man but now I think I am the most desperate person in the world. I am like dying out of grief and I cannot handle it.

0All-or-nothing thinking

I take invega shot and pill as well as lamictal for schizoaffective disorder. I am wondering why I have seconds of self-talk or talking out loud. Is this med supposed to stop everything or will there be moments like those seconds? It happens once a day. I sometimes say things that didn’t really happen or that I don’t mean. Does this mean that the med has failed? And if so are there other med options.

I sometimes say things that didn’t really happen or that I don’t mean. Does this mean that the med has failed?

0All-or-nothing thinking

Please help me. I am fairly strong and I have been in therapy during hard times in my life but my doctor retired years ago I am going through a crisis of grief, isolation, friends not being there and serious anxiety and depression and I cannot wrangle it and I don’t have any money to see a regular therapist. I feel so alone and I’ve not been able to wrangle it no matter how bad it is. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel very alone I reach out to people but they don’t seem to realize that support is one of the main cornerstones in life.

I feel so alone and I’ve not been able to wrangle it no matter how bad it is. I feel very alone I reach out to people but they don’t seem to realize that support is one of the main cornerstones in life.

5Personalization

I have battled with my idiosyncrasies since I was a little girl. I always thought I was merely particular, maybe slightly obsessive. However, after having a child my “sensitivities” if you will, have become markedly more intense. My skin has always been hypersensitive. In fact, I cut my hair multiple times, not bc I’m Daring as I let people believe, but because the individual hairs touching my skin drive me up a wall. Almost to the point of anger. Certain sounds make me want to curl up in a ball or scream. I don’t want this sort of thing influencing the way my child learns to cope with emotions. I have certain ways every little thing needs to be done and I feel like the world is ending when those systems are disrupted. A way of organizing the cabinets, a way of organizing the fridge, a way to load the dishwasher. I have panic attacks when I think about all of the things that are out of order while having a child and it exhausts me. I am severely socially apprehensive although I can mask it. I grew up with many siblings in a very abusive household and had to develop qualities that could help me protect my siblings and form lifelines outside of our home. I struggle every day to leave the house and go to a noisy bar and talk to people all night.

In fact, I cut my hair multiple times, not bc I’m Daring as I let people believe, but because the individual hairs touching my skin drive me up a wall. Almost to the point of anger. I have certain ways every little thing needs to be done and I feel like the world is ending when those systems are disrupted.

3Magnification

From the U.K.: Hello, I am looking for some advice. I have been seeing a guy since early January, who just ended our relationships suddenly few days ago. When we met, he was keen to see me a lot, despite us living in different countries, and throughout the relationship he would call/text every day. That didn’t change.

2No Distortion

From a teen in the U.S.: Me and my mom has been fighting for a while now and we’e both tired of fighting with each. She is constantly saying I’m irresponsible and she makes me feel like I’m always doing something wrong. I try to tell her how I feel but she never listens to what I have to say. And I just recently found out that I may possibly have bulimia and I haven’t told her because she’s only going to “it’s all in your head, you don’t know what you’re talking about” so I always feels as though I can’t talk to her or tell her anything.

She is constantly saying I’m irresponsible and she makes me feel like I’m always doing something wrong. And I just recently found out that I may possibly have bulimia and I haven’t told her because she’s only going to “it’s all in your head, you don’t know what you’re talking about” so I always feels as though I can’t talk to her or tell her anything.

5Personalization

My wife (of 30 years) is an alcoholic, as her mother was. She has presently been drinking, she has about 12 hiding places. The alcohol makes her psychotic. She doesn’t know yet that I know she is drinking. Currently, we have a friend and his fiance living with us. Recently, from the drinking, she has turned against me although we haven’t had any issues in our marriage. She is telling my friend how she wants me to do, has said so a few times and “why doesn’t he hurry up and have a heart attack”. Talks terrible about me and has said terrible falshoods against me to some of her friends – all untrue completely. She recently has come to delusions that my friend and she have something emotional together and have had sex, but this has not happened. She talks to him about how she likes to give BJs and has some men she can get money from (?). She is buying alcohol daily right now and where she is getting the money, I don’t know – but I suspect it may be through sexual favors.

2No Distortion

I wear lingerie & panties… can’t accept and can’t stop… (HELP) I’m a 28 year old married male with a new 8 month old son. Ever since I can remember (around 8 years old) I’ve had a thing for women’s undergarments. I can remember looking at the old JC Penney’s catalogue and immediately being drawn to the lingerie pages wondering how it might feel to wear these items. I took this wonderment to the actual by trying on my mom’s panties and occasionally my sister’s. I couldn’t help then and now to feel how taboo this is and that I am wrong in doing it… still to this day it feels wrong… I cannot accept this part of my life. I really just wish it never would have happened in the first place.

I couldn’t help then and now to feel how taboo this is and that I am wrong in doing it…

10Labeling

My boyfriend had a “golden shower” fetish and prefers that I do it instead of him masturbating to it. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 3 years, and plan on being together for a very long time. A few weeks after we became intimate he told me about his golden shower fetish, but told me that he was only interested in it because of his ex and that he no longer did it. I later found out that it wasn’t true and that his fetish started long before his ex was even in his life. I tried to understand it, and even did it sometimes for him, but now it’s at the point where he only wants me to be the one to do it, and he doesn’t even like watching “his videos” anymore. I’m not into the idea at all. It turns it and me completely off makes such a mess! (I always make him clean it up) If he is expecting it, and it doesn’t happen, he gets upset with me, even though he knows I don’t like to do it.

2No Distortion

I am a 25 year old woman and I feel very confused. For some time now, I have experiencing lesbian tendencies. I feel that I am “straight” and have a history of dating men. However, I have always had a problem with having an orgasm while having sex with a man and usually have to do it on my own, even during sex with a man. I find myself to be attracted to women, particularly those I see on TV. I even find myself searching for lesbians on web sites and I find I get extremely aroused when I come across lesbian pornography. I have talked to a girlfriend of mine who has the same feelings (she is also straight), even further than me. She does not believe that this means that we are lesbians and assures me that every girlfriend she has feels the same way about this attraction to women / lesbian pornography. I even fantasize about women when I am trying to get an orgasm with a man. I know I am attracted to men and I am not attracted to the everyday women I see and talk to everyday, only those “fantasy” type of women I see on TV and on pornographic websites. I don’t understand this as I have never even considered pursuing a sexual relationship with a woman. I have thought of experimenting with a woman sexually but would be too afraid or feel too dirty to do it. What is going on with me? Is this normal?

2No Distortion

I have a close friend who is also a colleague; we spend a lot of time together. She shares a lot of her feelings with me, and a while ago I found that her low moods were causing my mood to drop as well. I made an effort and have had success separating my mood from hers and protecting myself from “catching” how she feels.

2No Distortion