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instructions, left with Sonia presents and money for them. Their wives
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and sweethearts knew her and used to visit her. And when she visited
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Raskolnikov at work, or met a party of the prisoners on the road, they
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all took off their hats to her. “Little mother Sofya Semyonovna, you
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are our dear, good little mother,” coarse branded criminals said to that
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frail little creature. She would smile and bow to them and everyone was
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delighted when she smiled. They even admired her gait and turned round
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to watch her walking; they admired her too for being so little, and, in
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fact, did not know what to admire her most for. They even came to her
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for help in their illnesses.
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He was in the hospital from the middle of Lent till after Easter. When
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he was better, he remembered the dreams he had had while he was feverish
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and delirious. He dreamt that the whole world was condemned to a
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terrible new strange plague that had come to Europe from the depths of
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Asia. All were to be destroyed except a very few chosen. Some new sorts
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of microbes were attacking the bodies of men, but these microbes were
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endowed with intelligence and will. Men attacked by them became at once
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mad and furious. But never had men considered themselves so intellectual
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and so completely in possession of the truth as these sufferers, never
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had they considered their decisions, their scientific conclusions, their
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moral convictions so infallible. Whole villages, whole towns and peoples
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went mad from the infection. All were excited and did not understand
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one another. Each thought that he alone had the truth and was wretched
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looking at the others, beat himself on the breast, wept, and wrung
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his hands. They did not know how to judge and could not agree what to
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consider evil and what good; they did not know whom to blame, whom
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to justify. Men killed each other in a sort of senseless spite. They
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gathered together in armies against one another, but even on the march
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the armies would begin attacking each other, the ranks would be broken
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and the soldiers would fall on each other, stabbing and cutting, biting
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and devouring each other. The alarm bell was ringing all day long in
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the towns; men rushed together, but why they were summoned and who was
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summoning them no one knew. The most ordinary trades were abandoned,
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because everyone proposed his own ideas, his own improvements, and they
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could not agree. The land too was abandoned. Men met in groups, agreed
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on something, swore to keep together, but at once began on something
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quite different from what they had proposed. They accused one another,
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fought and killed each other. There were conflagrations and famine. All
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men and all things were involved in destruction. The plague spread and
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moved further and further. Only a few men could be saved in the whole
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world. They were a pure chosen people, destined to found a new race and
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a new life, to renew and purify the earth, but no one had seen these
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men, no one had heard their words and their voices.
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Raskolnikov was worried that this senseless dream haunted his memory so
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miserably, the impression of this feverish delirium persisted so long.
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The second week after Easter had come. There were warm bright spring
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days; in the prison ward the grating windows under which the sentinel
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paced were opened. Sonia had only been able to visit him twice during
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his illness; each time she had to obtain permission, and it was
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difficult. But she often used to come to the hospital yard, especially
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in the evening, sometimes only to stand a minute and look up at the
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windows of the ward.
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One evening, when he was almost well again, Raskolnikov fell asleep. On
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waking up he chanced to go to the window, and at once saw Sonia in the
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distance at the hospital gate. She seemed to be waiting for someone.
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Something stabbed him to the heart at that minute. He shuddered and
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moved away from the window. Next day Sonia did not come, nor the day
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after; he noticed that he was expecting her uneasily. At last he was
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discharged. On reaching the prison he learnt from the convicts that
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Sofya Semyonovna was lying ill at home and was unable to go out.
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He was very uneasy and sent to inquire after her; he soon learnt that
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her illness was not dangerous. Hearing that he was anxious about her,
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Sonia sent him a pencilled note, telling him that she was much better,
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that she had a slight cold and that she would soon, very soon come and
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see him at his work. His heart throbbed painfully as he read it.
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Again it was a warm bright day. Early in the morning, at six o’clock, he
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went off to work on the river bank, where they used to pound alabaster
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and where there was a kiln for baking it in a shed. There were only
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three of them sent. One of the convicts went with the guard to the
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fortress to fetch a tool; the other began getting the wood ready and
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laying it in the kiln. Raskolnikov came out of the shed on to the river
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bank, sat down on a heap of logs by the shed and began gazing at the
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wide deserted river. From the high bank a broad landscape opened before
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him, the sound of singing floated faintly audible from the other bank.
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In the vast steppe, bathed in sunshine, he could just see, like black
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specks, the nomads’ tents. There there was freedom, there other men were
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living, utterly unlike those here; there time itself seemed to stand
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still, as though the age of Abraham and his flocks had not passed.
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Raskolnikov sat gazing, his thoughts passed into day-dreams, into
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contemplation; he thought of nothing, but a vague restlessness excited
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and troubled him. Suddenly he found Sonia beside him; she had come up
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noiselessly and sat down at his side. It was still quite early; the
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morning chill was still keen. She wore her poor old burnous and the
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green shawl; her face still showed signs of illness, it was thinner and
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paler. She gave him a joyful smile of welcome, but held out her hand
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with her usual timidity. She was always timid of holding out her hand
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to him and sometimes did not offer it at all, as though afraid he would
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repel it. He always took her hand as though with repugnance, always
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seemed vexed to meet her and was sometimes obstinately silent throughout
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her visit. Sometimes she trembled before him and went away deeply
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grieved. But now their hands did not part. He stole a rapid glance
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at her and dropped his eyes on the ground without speaking. They were
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alone, no one had seen them. The guard had turned away for the time.
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How it happened he did not know. But all at once something seemed to
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