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i understand . ''

she reached for noah and took him back into her arms .

`` the baptism is in two weeks .

i 'll send you all the details .

it 'll be at transfiguration in marietta since it 's closer to our house .

afterwards , we 're going to have a big party . ''

`` i 'll make sure to clear my schedule . ''

`` wonderful . ''

pesh leaned over to kiss noah 's cheek .

`` goodbye my godson .

be good for your mother . ''

he pulled emma to him and hugged her .

`` goodbye to you as well . ''

she squeezed him tight .

`` thank you again .

you ca n't imagine how happy you 've made me .

and aidan . ''

he imagined that emma 's elation was far greater than aidan 's , but he kept that to himself .

instead , he walked to her the door .

just as he went for the doorknob , emma shocked him with her next statement .

`` oh , if you 're seeing someone , please feel free to bring her with you . ''

pesh could n't help the burst of nervous laughter that escaped his lips .

`` that was n't obvious at all . ''

emma frowned .

`` but i thought ... at least i hoped you would be dating someone by now . ''

`` well , i 'm not . ''

shifting noah to her other hip , emma shook her head .

`` how is that possible ?

do you walk around with a bag over your head ?

live as a hermit ? ''

`` no to the bag , and i guess yes to a hermit . ''

he glanced around .

`` i 'm always here . ''

emma 's gaze left his and took in some of the nurses passing by them .

he could imagine from the looks they were giving him , and more particularly the envious daggers they were shooting emma , that she knew what was on their minds .

`` do you have any idea what effect you have on women ? ''

he crossed his arms over his chest .

`` no , but i suppose you 're going to remind me again . ''

emma sighed .

`` i just want you to be happy , and i know that deep down you are n't . ''

`` please , just let it go for now , okay ? ''

although she nodded , pesh could tell she was far from agreeing .

somewhere within that pretty head of hers the wheels of matchmaking were turning hard and fast .

`` see you soon , '' she said , before starting down the hall .

as he watched emma and noah walk through the mechanized double doors into the waiting room , a pang of sadness reverberated through him as he wondered what his child might have been like .

in the months before her death , his late wife , jade , had been on fertility medication .

she 'd miscarried once , but she had great hopes that their latest baby making attempts would be successful .

she died never knowing if she was pregnant or not .

when the autopsy had come back , pesh refused to read whether she had been .

it would have been too difficult to bear .

shaking off his morbid thoughts once again , he went into the room where a patient needed him .

chapter two `` where the hell is my dress ? ''

megan mckenzie demanded , as she rifled through her closet .

the one formal and demure dress she owned had been dropped off at the cleaners earlier in the week to prepare for her godson , noah 's , baptism .

as the godmother , she wanted to look mature and responsible .

most of the dresses in her closet were from her former life-in other words , her life before her son was born .

that meant they were too short , too tight , and too revealing .

she cut her eyes over to the couch to check on mason .

sitting stock still , he was enraptured by the cartoon on the tv .

`` be right back , sweetie . ''

`` awight , mommy . ''

she pounded up the basement stairs and into her parent 's kitchen .

she hoped she would find the dress hanging in the hall closet .

if not , she was totally screwed .

as she started into the living room , the mere sound of a voice on the television caused her to freeze .

her stomach churned , and her heart raced .

she knew that voice all too well .

it belonged to the man who had shredded her heart , crushed her spirit , and left her broken almost beyond repair .

her nineteen-year-old-brother , sean , lounged on the couch , watching espn .

on the screen , her ex-boyfriend , davis durello , gave an interview outfitted in his falcons jersey and pads .

becoming enraged that he was invading her home , megan stalked across the room and snatched the remote out of sean 's hand .

she flicked off the television and tossed the remote at him , smacking him in the chest .

he glowered at her .

`` what the hell , meg ?

i was watching that . ''

`` are you that big of an insensitive ass**le that you even have to ask ? ''

`` i 'm an ass**le because you 're getting pissed i 'm watching some old interview of davis ' ? ''

`` are n't you perceptive ? ''

megan snapped sarcastically .

`` i thought you were over him , '' sean countered .

megan did n't even bother trying to explain to sean that even after two years , it was hard getting over the man who left you knocked up and refused to have anything to do with his son besides signing a check .

as a teenage male , sean just did n't have that much emotional depth to understand that a wound like that may look like it has healed , but it was always festering just below the surface .

`` i am , '' she lied .

`` but that does n't mean i want to see him .

most people get to leave their ex-boyfriends behind , but i have to have mine thrust into my face during football season .

but even when that 's over , he still seems to be creeping around . ''

crossing her arms over her chest , she shot a death glare at sean .

`` it would be nice if you cared enough about me not to want to watch him . ''

`` can i help that your douchebag ex happens to play for the falcons , and espn is doing an interview ? ''

`` you do n't have to be watching it in my presence ! ''

at her outburst , sean held up his hands in defeat .

`` sorry .

i did n't know it got to you that bad .

i 'll turn the channel next time , okay ? ''

`` fine , '' she muttered .

feeling slightly psychotic after her outburst , she kept her head down as she headed for the hall closet .

thankfully , her navy blue dress hung on the rack still in the plastic from the dry cleaners .

when she turned around , she found her mother outfitted in her finest pale pink suit .

she eyed megan 's robe-clad form disdainfully .

`` megan , we leave in half an hour .