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A | POST: My mom claimed me as dependant and is taking the stimulus check. I'm 21 and she has not been monetarily supporting me in any way and she didnt have permission. Is there anything I can do about it? My crackhead mother has been stealing money from me for years and I'm ready to strike her for it. Is that a thing I can do on this case? Edit: I live in the state of Ohio
RESPONSE A: Paper file your taxes claiming yourself. They may send a letter to CHM asking her to prove that you are her dependent. She shouldn't be able to prove that, and you'll get your stimulus. This may take three or four years though, IRS is overwhelmed.
RESPONSE B: Have you been filing your taxes as independent?
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: My mom claimed me as dependant and is taking the stimulus check. I'm 21 and she has not been monetarily supporting me in any way and she didnt have permission. Is there anything I can do about it? My crackhead mother has been stealing money from me for years and I'm ready to strike her for it. Is that a thing I can do on this case? Edit: I live in the state of Ohio
RESPONSE A: It will be helpful to also post to r/personalfinance (follow the posting rules so your post stays up). There have been several similar questions there, and they will tell you what form to fill out for the IRS to correct your dependent status & seek stimulus payment. The IRS can and will require repayment for fraudulently collected stimulus checks, so you won’t necessarily have to pursue you mother legally for the stimulus money. You also want to make sure you freeze your credit with all the major agencies to prevent her from opening credit lines in your name. If you haven’t already, please pull your credit reports to makes sure you recognize everything there. If you see anything you believe your mother to have opened in your name, you can file a police report for identity theft. If you live in the same area or have any concerns she may steal your info via mail, you can sign up to see a scan of your mail before it’s delivered via Informed Delivery at USPS.com
RESPONSE B: Paper file your taxes claiming yourself. They may send a letter to CHM asking her to prove that you are her dependent. She shouldn't be able to prove that, and you'll get your stimulus. This may take three or four years though, IRS is overwhelmed.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: My mom claimed me as dependant and is taking the stimulus check. I'm 21 and she has not been monetarily supporting me in any way and she didnt have permission. Is there anything I can do about it? My crackhead mother has been stealing money from me for years and I'm ready to strike her for it. Is that a thing I can do on this case? Edit: I live in the state of Ohio
RESPONSE A: Have you been filing your taxes as independent?
RESPONSE B: It will be helpful to also post to r/personalfinance (follow the posting rules so your post stays up). There have been several similar questions there, and they will tell you what form to fill out for the IRS to correct your dependent status & seek stimulus payment. The IRS can and will require repayment for fraudulently collected stimulus checks, so you won’t necessarily have to pursue you mother legally for the stimulus money. You also want to make sure you freeze your credit with all the major agencies to prevent her from opening credit lines in your name. If you haven’t already, please pull your credit reports to makes sure you recognize everything there. If you see anything you believe your mother to have opened in your name, you can file a police report for identity theft. If you live in the same area or have any concerns she may steal your info via mail, you can sign up to see a scan of your mail before it’s delivered via Informed Delivery at USPS.com
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: My mom claimed me as dependant and is taking the stimulus check. I'm 21 and she has not been monetarily supporting me in any way and she didnt have permission. Is there anything I can do about it? My crackhead mother has been stealing money from me for years and I'm ready to strike her for it. Is that a thing I can do on this case? Edit: I live in the state of Ohio
RESPONSE A: https://www.thebalance.com/what-if-you-re-fraudulently-claimed-as-a-dependent-5084383
RESPONSE B: It will be helpful to also post to r/personalfinance (follow the posting rules so your post stays up). There have been several similar questions there, and they will tell you what form to fill out for the IRS to correct your dependent status & seek stimulus payment. The IRS can and will require repayment for fraudulently collected stimulus checks, so you won’t necessarily have to pursue you mother legally for the stimulus money. You also want to make sure you freeze your credit with all the major agencies to prevent her from opening credit lines in your name. If you haven’t already, please pull your credit reports to makes sure you recognize everything there. If you see anything you believe your mother to have opened in your name, you can file a police report for identity theft. If you live in the same area or have any concerns she may steal your info via mail, you can sign up to see a scan of your mail before it’s delivered via Informed Delivery at USPS.com
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: My mom claimed me as dependant and is taking the stimulus check. I'm 21 and she has not been monetarily supporting me in any way and she didnt have permission. Is there anything I can do about it? My crackhead mother has been stealing money from me for years and I'm ready to strike her for it. Is that a thing I can do on this case? Edit: I live in the state of Ohio
RESPONSE A: Here is a website where you can report Coronavirus-specific fraud to the Federal Government.
RESPONSE B: https://www.thebalance.com/what-if-you-re-fraudulently-claimed-as-a-dependent-5084383
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: makes everyone happy but she still says that I have no rights. I know it's really stupid but I don't want to stress out anymore than I already am and I just want to know ahead of time so that I can tell my doctor and the hospital before hand but I haven't been able to call them about this because I don't want to be told that "she's my mother do what she says" you know?
RESPONSE A: Yet another vote to say talk to the nurses. Not only to give names of those who are allowed, but also to give detailed descriptions of those who are not. People may lie about their names. My understanding is that nurses will protect you, as the patient, and have seen it all before and know how disruptive an unwelcome guest can be. They will act in your interests so do talk to them as far in advance as possible, and reiterate it when you're admitted in labour. Edit: this applies to the time after birth too. You do not want your mother sweeping in to hold the baby while you're still recovering and exhausted and haven't even held baby yourself. The first few hours are for you and baby to do skin to skin bonding and to establish breastfeeding, in a calm environment. And to rest. If it was me I'd say no visitors (except the father or a trusted friend) for 2 hours after birth ,and if I'm napping don't disturb me, make it 4 hours. Minimum. Maybe ask the nurses to check with you every 2 hours (they can always say you're exhausted ) until you are ready for visitors. Do not feel guilty about this. The world will not end if your mother waits a few hours to see you and baby, no matter what she threatens. Do you have plans for after the birth? Be careful that she doesn't try to take over your child and to mother you both. Youre young but it is your child.
RESPONSE B: I am not a lawyer, but I am a pediatrician. In most states (and including California), pregnant minors are emancipated for medical care of the pregnancy. That means that **only you** and not your mother have the legal right to consent and control your medical care related to the pregnancy. See here
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: my mom kicked me out of the house for a little over a month. I even told her that I don't want her there and I would rather be alone in the room if that makes everyone happy but she still says that I have no rights. I know it's really stupid but I don't want to stress out anymore than I already am and I just want to know ahead of time so that I can tell my doctor and the hospital before hand but I haven't been able to call them about this because I don't want to be told that "she's my mother do what she says" you know?
RESPONSE A: I am not a lawyer, but I am a pediatrician. In most states (and including California), pregnant minors are emancipated for medical care of the pregnancy. That means that **only you** and not your mother have the legal right to consent and control your medical care related to the pregnancy. See here
RESPONSE B: You may be 16, but a minor who has given birth is considered emancipated for most purposes. You are able to make your own decisions regarding this. Most states also have laws saying that minors are in charge of their own reproductive care (which also birthing a child). Many hospitals do have rules about how many people can be in the delivery room at one time - no crowds or entourages. However, you get to dictate who gets to be there and for how long. If your mother is attempting to intimidate you, calmly and clearly explain your situation to your doctor and let the hospital know ahead of time that you don't want her there. They have to abide by your wishes. You are by far not the first minor giving birth in the midst of family drama - the hospitals deals with this all the time. Just be very clear that she is not welcome under any circumstances and stick to it. It may be a tough pill for your mom to swallow, but she will no longer have veto power over your decisions once the baby arrives. Now, she may have leverage to ensure your compliance with her wishes- giving you a place to stay, paying for some of your expenses, etc. However, she cannot overrule your decisions once you become a parent - just something to think about.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: I'm 16 and pregnant and about to give birth in 3 weeks. My mom says she controls who goes into the delivery room. I told her that it's my right to choose who I want in there. Is she right about being able to control who goes in there? (California) Sorry for formatting I'm on mobile. So I'm about to be due in 3 weeks and I want specific family members to be able to see me when I want and how long it should be because I know it's going to be really stressful. I tried to tell my mom but she said that I have no rights in who I say goes in or not and that since she's the parent that she decides who sees me and who doesn't. I'm just really worried about that because she will exclude almost all of my dad's side of the family (they've been separated and pretty much hate each other) even though they've helped out when my mom kicked me out of the house for a little over a month. I even told her that I don't want her there and I would rather be alone in the room if that makes everyone happy but she still says that I have no rights. I know it's really stupid but I don't want to stress out anymore than I already am and I just want to know ahead of time so that I can tell my doctor and the hospital before hand but I haven't been able to call them about this because I don't want to be told that "she's my mother do what she says" you know?
RESPONSE A: Pull your doctor aside and explain to them. Also talk to your nurses. You have control here, your mom has nothing.
RESPONSE B: I am not a lawyer, but I am a pediatrician. In most states (and including California), pregnant minors are emancipated for medical care of the pregnancy. That means that **only you** and not your mother have the legal right to consent and control your medical care related to the pregnancy. See here
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: controls who goes into the delivery room. I told her that it's my right to choose who I want in there. Is she right about being able to control who goes in there? (California) Sorry for formatting I'm on mobile. So I'm about to be due in 3 weeks and I want specific family members to be able to see me when I want and how long it should be because I know it's going to be really stressful. I tried to tell my mom but she said that I have no rights in who I say goes in or not and that since she's the parent that she decides who sees me and who doesn't. I'm just really worried about that because she will exclude almost all of my dad's side of the family (they've been separated and pretty much hate each other) even though they've helped out when my mom kicked me out of the house for a little over a month. I even told her that I don't want her there and I would rather be alone in the room if that makes everyone happy but she still says that I have no rights. I know it's really stupid but I don't want to stress out anymore than I already am and I just want to know ahead of time so that I can tell my doctor and the hospital before hand but I haven't been able to call them about this because I don't want to be told that "she's my mother do what she says" you know?
RESPONSE A: I am not a lawyer, but I am a pediatrician. In most states (and including California), pregnant minors are emancipated for medical care of the pregnancy. That means that **only you** and not your mother have the legal right to consent and control your medical care related to the pregnancy. See here
RESPONSE B: As others have stated, talk to someone at the hospital. this actually comes up a lot and they are used to telling people no or taking control. also, if the hospital that you will be delivering at has a birthing class, see if you can sign up. sometimes they have 1-day ones. it will get you familiar with their policies and may allow you to ask the nurses teaching the class how you can arrange this.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: I'm 16 and pregnant and about to give birth in 3 weeks. My mom says she controls who goes into the delivery room. I told her that it's my right to choose who I want in there. Is she right about being able to control who goes in there? (California) Sorry for formatting I'm on mobile. So I'm about to be due in 3 weeks and I want specific family members to be able to see me when I want and how long it should be because I know it's going to be really stressful. I tried to tell my mom but she said that I have no rights in who I say goes in or not and that since she's the parent that she decides who sees me and who doesn't. I'm just really worried about that because she will exclude almost all of my dad's side of the family (they've been separated and pretty much hate each other) even though they've helped out when my mom kicked me out of the house for a little over a month. I even told her that I don't want her there and I would rather be alone in the room if that makes everyone happy but she still says that I have no rights. I know it's really stupid but I don't want to stress out anymore than I already am and I just want to know ahead of time so that I can tell my doctor and the hospital before hand but I haven't been able to call them about this because I don't want to be told that "she's my mother do what she says" you know?
RESPONSE A: I am not a lawyer, but I am a pediatrician. In most states (and including California), pregnant minors are emancipated for medical care of the pregnancy. That means that **only you** and not your mother have the legal right to consent and control your medical care related to the pregnancy. See here
RESPONSE B: The parents control. Not the grandparents. You can even tell your own mother not to be there. If all else fails call the hospital to confirm.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: contacted me saying that he did found an old rent check that he allowed to go stale. He was unable to deposit it because it was written over 2 years ago. He wants me to write him another check. Am I required to do so? (Oregon, USA) I lived in that house for about 2 years on a month to month basis. I paid my rent monthly in the form a personal check made out to my landlord. He usually deposited them within one month, however he somehow forgot or neglected to deposit a check from 2015, and just noticed it this week. I never noticed that he didn't deposit the check. My former landlord sent me a photo of the check, so I have proof that I wrote it. He informed me that the bank would not honor the check because of its age, and that he'd like me to write another. I checked my bank statements, and I know that the check was not deposited. I would guess that there's some law saying what my obligation is here, but I couldn't find it. All I found was that banks generally don't honor checks that are over 6 months old, however I could not find anything regarding whether or not I still legally owe him money. I feel that I upheld my end of the deal by writing the check and it's his fault that he didn't deposit it. Am I required to write another check? Can someone hold onto a check indefinitely to deposit whenever they wish, or does the debt "expire" after some time? Thanks for your help.
RESPONSE A: If the amount you owed was so low that you could somehow just *not notice* the check hadn't been cashed for two years, you can afford to pay him.
RESPONSE B: Legally, as abortion_layaway has stated, you probably are in the clear. However, if your relationship was good and he didn't screw you over with regard to security deposit and the like, it would be morally good to pay him. I would ask for the original check back in return as he could probably deposit in an ATM and it would go through without ever being noticed by a human if your account is still open. If he's local, perhaps do the exchange in person.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: My former landlord just contacted me saying that he did found an old rent check that he allowed to go stale. He was unable to deposit it because it was written over 2 years ago. He wants me to write him another check. Am I required to do so? (Oregon, USA) I lived in that house for about 2 years on a month to month basis. I paid my rent monthly in the form a personal check made out to my landlord. He usually deposited them within one month, however he somehow forgot or neglected to deposit a check from 2015, and just noticed it this week. I never noticed that he didn't deposit the check. My former landlord sent me a photo of the check, so I have proof that I wrote it. He informed me that the bank would not honor the check because of its age, and that he'd like me to write another. I checked my bank statements, and I know that the check was not deposited. I would guess that there's some law saying what my obligation is here, but I couldn't find it. All I found was that banks generally don't honor checks that are over 6 months old, however I could not find anything regarding whether or not I still legally owe him money. I feel that I upheld my end of the deal by writing the check and it's his fault that he didn't deposit it. Am I required to write another check? Can someone hold onto a check indefinitely to deposit whenever they wish, or does the debt "expire" after some time? Thanks for your help.
RESPONSE A: If the amount you owed was so low that you could somehow just *not notice* the check hadn't been cashed for two years, you can afford to pay him.
RESPONSE B: Have him send you the old cheque back and write him a new one if you left on good terms.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: My former landlord just contacted me saying that he did found an old rent check that he allowed to go stale. He was unable to deposit it because it was written over 2 years ago. He wants me to write him another check. Am I required to do so? (Oregon, USA) I lived in that house for about 2 years on a month to month basis. I paid my rent monthly in the form a personal check made out to my landlord. He usually deposited them within one month, however he somehow forgot or neglected to deposit a check from 2015, and just noticed it this week. I never noticed that he didn't deposit the check. My former landlord sent me a photo of the check, so I have proof that I wrote it. He informed me that the bank would not honor the check because of its age, and that he'd like me to write another. I checked my bank statements, and I know that the check was not deposited. I would guess that there's some law saying what my obligation is here, but I couldn't find it. All I found was that banks generally don't honor checks that are over 6 months old, however I could not find anything regarding whether or not I still legally owe him money. I feel that I upheld my end of the deal by writing the check and it's his fault that he didn't deposit it. Am I required to write another check? Can someone hold onto a check indefinitely to deposit whenever they wish, or does the debt "expire" after some time? Thanks for your help.
RESPONSE A: Look at your account and just make sure that that check # was not cashed just in case btw.
RESPONSE B: If the amount you owed was so low that you could somehow just *not notice* the check hadn't been cashed for two years, you can afford to pay him.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: My former landlord just contacted me saying that he did found an old rent check that he allowed to go stale. He was unable to deposit it because it was written over 2 years ago. He wants me to write him another check. Am I required to do so? (Oregon, USA) I lived in that house for about 2 years on a month to month basis. I paid my rent monthly in the form a personal check made out to my landlord. He usually deposited them within one month, however he somehow forgot or neglected to deposit a check from 2015, and just noticed it this week. I never noticed that he didn't deposit the check. My former landlord sent me a photo of the check, so I have proof that I wrote it. He informed me that the bank would not honor the check because of its age, and that he'd like me to write another. I checked my bank statements, and I know that the check was not deposited. I would guess that there's some law saying what my obligation is here, but I couldn't find it. All I found was that banks generally don't honor checks that are over 6 months old, however I could not find anything regarding whether or not I still legally owe him money. I feel that I upheld my end of the deal by writing the check and it's his fault that he didn't deposit it. Am I required to write another check? Can someone hold onto a check indefinitely to deposit whenever they wish, or does the debt "expire" after some time? Thanks for your help.
RESPONSE A: In addition to the other advice in this thread, definitely DON'T just ignore anything sent to you that relates to the situation simply because you have the legal upper hand. For example, if LL did file a lawsuit and you did not respond to the complaint or show up at the hearing, a default judgement could be entered against you and then you would be obligated to pay. That could be appealed but, imo, not worth the hassle of not reading your mail. Best of luck if LL escalates.
RESPONSE B: Look at your account and just make sure that that check # was not cashed just in case btw.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: .) I feel like if I go in front of a judge with printouts of all the evidence I have, am clear and polite, and read up on the basics of court procedure, I’ll be ok. My ex is...let’s just say bombastic enough that I think just his behavior will be enough to show a judge that our kids have ample independent reason to keep him at arm’s length. Is this a stupid plan? Do I NEED to beg money to pay for a lawyer, or is this a pointless enough lawsuit that I can hand it myself, under the circumstances? Many thanks for reading. Tl;dr: my 18 year olds don't want to have a relationship with my not-so-nice ex, so I'm being sued for parental alienation. Can I defend myself against this, or do I need to beg money from family and pay a lawyer?
RESPONSE A: Genuine question for the lawyers here...... Since the ex-husband is the one making the allegation, doesn't the burden of proof fall to him to *prove* that she is supposedly alienating the twins? And I mean more proof than him standing there going, "Well, she must have because my kids don't want to see my any more!" It seems to me that that would not be considered proof, merely an opinion. If OP walks in there with printed out verbally abusive texts, and the twins saying "He's just an asshole and we have decided we don't want to see him" it seems that would be more than enough. And wouldn't a judge consider the twins old enough to make up their own minds? They're teenagers, part of me feels even if OP said "Don't go to your father's, he's an asshole!" they would because most teenagers seize the opportunity to do what their parents don't want them to. :)
RESPONSE B: Although many others have said you would be stupid to have a lawyer, for silly issues like this that are going to be handled in family court, often with a judge who is familiar with your case, a lawyer is not necessary unless he too has a lawyer.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: did in the divorce, since he doesn’t trust lawyers. That went pretty badly for him last time (he didn’t get any of what he asked for, got scolded by the judge for his bad behavior, and he was also ordered to help me and the kids pay for their college). Would it be a terrible idea to just go and try to defend myself? I feel like I have ample evidence that I tried to help my kids keep a relationship with their dad, months and months worth of texts. If I asked them, I know they would also give me their text histories with their dad, which I know firsthand is...really mean. (He gets flustered very easily and becomes, in my opinion, verbally abusive when upset, hence the divorce.) I feel like if I go in front of a judge with printouts of all the evidence I have, am clear and polite, and read up on the basics of court procedure, I’ll be ok. My ex is...let’s just say bombastic enough that I think just his behavior will be enough to show a judge that our kids have ample independent reason to keep him at arm’s length. Is this a stupid plan? Do I NEED to beg money to pay for a lawyer, or is this a pointless enough lawsuit that I can hand it myself, under the circumstances? Many thanks for reading. Tl;dr: my 18 year olds don't want to have a relationship with my not-so-nice ex, so I'm being sued for parental alienation. Can I defend myself against this, or do I need to beg money from family and pay a lawyer?
RESPONSE A: Although many others have said you would be stupid to have a lawyer, for silly issues like this that are going to be handled in family court, often with a judge who is familiar with your case, a lawyer is not necessary unless he too has a lawyer.
RESPONSE B: It's a pretty ridiculous claim. Most likely a judge will ream out your ex for his stupidity, without you bringing a lawyer. Explain to the judge that finances make it difficult for you to hire a lawyer every time your ex's feelings are hurt.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: so I wouldn’t notice, please. Apparently, she was seeing a new boyfriend and pretending that she lived in my home and acted like it was her own. I caught on when I noticed the family photos were turned around and some other smaller nuisances that you notice as a home owner. So, suddenly my sister despises me for some bogus reason so she doesn’t look like a fraud to her latest victim and I’m the scapegoat, just like back in childhood. My sister filed a restraining order for herself and her three children who have had to come spend time with me in secret on their dads weeks due to this sudden change of heart. She is making me out to be a stalker and a drug addict all of the things that SHE IS because she knows I could get her for breaking and entering or something like that if I really wanted to, I would assume. She put my mothers address down as hers and now I can’t go anywhere near my moms house. All of this was done without me ever seeing or talking to my sister. I haven’t had contact with her for months for obvious reasons. There’s a court date set and god only knows what kind of crazy narcissistic bs she’s gonna pull. I stick to the truth and the tapes of her using my property as her own. Is there anything else I should do/be aware of?
RESPONSE A: You should fight this restraining order with the assistance of counsel. Most family law practices will have lots of relevant experience. You don't want this to be anything other than a temporary order, it'll follow you around later and may restrict your access to firearms and other rights beyond those already outlined in the order.
RESPONSE B: Pretty much just document everything, also if she tries to contact you don't pick up or talk to her at all. Missouri is a one party state, so she could secretly record you and try and distort it the audio as "evidence" against you. You should also enable any GPS tracking, like Google time line, to show where you are at all times. Also you should contact a lawyer and get their advice on what to expect on the court date.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: mistake of trusting her to check on my home while we were away and was surprised to get a call from my landlord asking why there is a family of six suddenly living in my home and using my space, clothing, everything down to the shampoo she watered down so I wouldn’t notice, please. Apparently, she was seeing a new boyfriend and pretending that she lived in my home and acted like it was her own. I caught on when I noticed the family photos were turned around and some other smaller nuisances that you notice as a home owner. So, suddenly my sister despises me for some bogus reason so she doesn’t look like a fraud to her latest victim and I’m the scapegoat, just like back in childhood. My sister filed a restraining order for herself and her three children who have had to come spend time with me in secret on their dads weeks due to this sudden change of heart. She is making me out to be a stalker and a drug addict all of the things that SHE IS because she knows I could get her for breaking and entering or something like that if I really wanted to, I would assume. She put my mothers address down as hers and now I can’t go anywhere near my moms house. All of this was done without me ever seeing or talking to my sister. I haven’t had contact with her for months for obvious reasons. There’s a court date set and god only knows what kind of crazy narcissistic bs she’s gonna pull. I stick to the truth and the tapes of her using my property as her own. Is there anything else I should do/be aware of?
RESPONSE A: She's going to have to prove she lives there and that won't be easy. It wouldn't hurt talking to an attorney just for the heck of it ​
RESPONSE B: Does she receive aid (housing allowance,money,medical) from the State for her and the children? If she does, whch address does she use on that paperwork, Her house or your Mom's house? If she is using her address on the aid file you could use it to show she does not live at your Mom's house.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: paired with loud, fake laughter. Someone else in the building had people over late last night and it must have kept them awake so they were mad. But I was home by myself and in bed by 9:30, so it certainly wasn't me. So they now know my daily schedule and are taking out their anger at other people on me instead. I have not had more than one person over at my home in months, I never play loud music past 8pm, and I limit my door use as much as possible. They have made me such a huge part of their daily lives and I just want to be left alone. I'm now nervous to leave my house for work every morning. The HOA put a camera in the hallway and I have a camera from my unit pointed out to the parking lot to make sure he doesn't mess with my car or follow me to work. I have changed so many of my daily habits to accommodate them and at this point I am so stressed and scared when I leave my unit. They also have a similar history with other neighbors- they have thrown away gardening stakes ("Don't plant flowers in front of my window!"), turned off a neighbor's electricity several times a week for months until we had to hire an electrician who told us that nothing was wrong with the power! (crazy neighbor accused this other neighbor of "hacking" his TV so that's why he was turning off his power) and put dirt in someone else's laundry (they must have slammed the laundry room door too loudly!) I'm alarmed that they have taken the time to get to know my daily schedule. I've gone to the police to try to file a report a few times in the past but they said they couldn't help me, door slamming isn't harassment, I don't have enough proof, etc. Is this harassment? What can I do? I own the condo and can't really afford to move. They have escalated things before and I would not put it past them to escalate things again. Please advise!
RESPONSE A: Is there a condo association that can get involved?
RESPONSE B: Have you gone to the police with your video of them damaging your property (stomping on your package)?
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: loud, fake laughter. Someone else in the building had people over late last night and it must have kept them awake so they were mad. But I was home by myself and in bed by 9:30, so it certainly wasn't me. So they now know my daily schedule and are taking out their anger at other people on me instead. I have not had more than one person over at my home in months, I never play loud music past 8pm, and I limit my door use as much as possible. They have made me such a huge part of their daily lives and I just want to be left alone. I'm now nervous to leave my house for work every morning. The HOA put a camera in the hallway and I have a camera from my unit pointed out to the parking lot to make sure he doesn't mess with my car or follow me to work. I have changed so many of my daily habits to accommodate them and at this point I am so stressed and scared when I leave my unit. They also have a similar history with other neighbors- they have thrown away gardening stakes ("Don't plant flowers in front of my window!"), turned off a neighbor's electricity several times a week for months until we had to hire an electrician who told us that nothing was wrong with the power! (crazy neighbor accused this other neighbor of "hacking" his TV so that's why he was turning off his power) and put dirt in someone else's laundry (they must have slammed the laundry room door too loudly!) I'm alarmed that they have taken the time to get to know my daily schedule. I've gone to the police to try to file a report a few times in the past but they said they couldn't help me, door slamming isn't harassment, I don't have enough proof, etc. Is this harassment? What can I do? I own the condo and can't really afford to move. They have escalated things before and I would not put it past them to escalate things again. Please advise!
RESPONSE A: Is there a condo association that can get involved?
RESPONSE B: How is this person allowed access to the breaker panel? That should be under lock and key, condo association should deal with that.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: . The HOA put a camera in the hallway and I have a camera from my unit pointed out to the parking lot to make sure he doesn't mess with my car or follow me to work. I have changed so many of my daily habits to accommodate them and at this point I am so stressed and scared when I leave my unit. They also have a similar history with other neighbors- they have thrown away gardening stakes ("Don't plant flowers in front of my window!"), turned off a neighbor's electricity several times a week for months until we had to hire an electrician who told us that nothing was wrong with the power! (crazy neighbor accused this other neighbor of "hacking" his TV so that's why he was turning off his power) and put dirt in someone else's laundry (they must have slammed the laundry room door too loudly!) I'm alarmed that they have taken the time to get to know my daily schedule. I've gone to the police to try to file a report a few times in the past but they said they couldn't help me, door slamming isn't harassment, I don't have enough proof, etc. Is this harassment? What can I do? I own the condo and can't really afford to move. They have escalated things before and I would not put it past them to escalate things again. Please advise!
RESPONSE A: Is there a condo association that can get involved?
RESPONSE B: How big is your HOA and roughly what percentage of condos in your HOA are being affected by this guy? Your best bet would be to band together, go to all of the HOA meetings and work on getting some enforcement of the existing CCRs or work on creating some new CCRs to go after this guy. The HOA has a *tremendous* amount of power over individual owners - start getting them to use it to stop this guy. The HOA can make it far, far too expensive for this guy to harass you and your neighbors and can file liens or even foreclose if he doesn't pay up. This is pretty much one of only a handful of things an HOA is truly useful for - take advantage of it!
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: of them is in contact with him - he was much younger than I was and had a different parental experience. I have requested many times that this brother and his wife do not tell our father about my personal life. And yet, they have told him personal details about my relationships, my job, etc. I went no contact with them, but they still receive information through my mom. The chain of fuckery goes like this : ME > MOM > BROTHER > STALKER. This week he sent a completely unhinged letter to my work address, where it was received and opened by a coworker. (It's a government office and pretty routine for us to receive personally addressed mail due to the calls we get, so this isn't surprising or out of the scope of their job). It has a lot of personal information in it, and while my coworker said she didn't read it, it's possible that she did or others did - it is my belief he did this in an attempt to injure me professionally. He knows I don't want any contact with him, but every once in a while he pops up like a herpes sore to send me some reminder that if he wants, he can find me no matter where I go in the country. I'm filing a police report and a TPO, but I doubt the TPO will be granted because his physical violence and abuse took place 20 years ago and because my mother is so conflict-avoidant it went undocumented by police. Also, I live in NV and he lives in VA I need some guidance on how to protect myself from my father, my brother and maybe even my mom. I don't want to go no contact with her but it's on the table after twenty years of just wanting to be left alone to have a normal life without my abuser in it. What can I do?
RESPONSE A: I'm sorry but since you've identified that the flow of information begins with your mother, the most practical option is to cut her off.
RESPONSE B: You could try contacting a domestic violence organisation, they will have experience dealing with issues such as this and will be able to give you advice and resources
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: and had a different parental experience. I have requested many times that this brother and his wife do not tell our father about my personal life. And yet, they have told him personal details about my relationships, my job, etc. I went no contact with them, but they still receive information through my mom. The chain of fuckery goes like this : ME > MOM > BROTHER > STALKER. This week he sent a completely unhinged letter to my work address, where it was received and opened by a coworker. (It's a government office and pretty routine for us to receive personally addressed mail due to the calls we get, so this isn't surprising or out of the scope of their job). It has a lot of personal information in it, and while my coworker said she didn't read it, it's possible that she did or others did - it is my belief he did this in an attempt to injure me professionally. He knows I don't want any contact with him, but every once in a while he pops up like a herpes sore to send me some reminder that if he wants, he can find me no matter where I go in the country. I'm filing a police report and a TPO, but I doubt the TPO will be granted because his physical violence and abuse took place 20 years ago and because my mother is so conflict-avoidant it went undocumented by police. Also, I live in NV and he lives in VA I need some guidance on how to protect myself from my father, my brother and maybe even my mom. I don't want to go no contact with her but it's on the table after twenty years of just wanting to be left alone to have a normal life without my abuser in it. What can I do?
RESPONSE A: A women's shelter may also have resources for this type of thing that they might be able to help with. Many shelters for women have ways to help people running from abusive relationships, being stalked, harassed etc.
RESPONSE B: I'm sorry but since you've identified that the flow of information begins with your mother, the most practical option is to cut her off.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: power his business office that is located in the backyard of our rental house. We discovered this when our power was temporarily disconnected for a late payment and our landlord came and asked if we had any power about 30 minutes after we were disconnected. We then realized that our late payments should have no affect on his offices power supply and thus determining that he has been leaching power from our lines without telling us. There is no meter on his office and no evidence that he has his own account with the power company. We rent through a 3rd party realtor and upon confronting them they said they will not be able to handle anything as it is between us and the landlord, but that our landlord has requested our previous electricity bills for the past few months. So it seems that our landlord is willing to back pay us whatever electricity he has used over the past 12 months but my concern is how to determine what exactly he owes us. His office space is about the size of a 2 car garage with its own A/C unit and he runs a carpentry business where he is in the office around 8-10 hours a day repairing furniture. What would be a proper way to go about finding out how much our landlord owes us for electricity and what legal action would there be if he refuses to pay a fair amount? Thank you for any insight you all can provide!
RESPONSE A: You should contact the utility company and ask if they are willing to pursue a theft of service claim. They should investigate, especially if any "homemade" wiring is involved. If you really want to blow up the landlord, look into the zoning for the property. He likely doesn't have the permits to be running a commercial business in a residential neighborhood. I would think a "dirty" business like carpentry (requiring ventilation for particulate and chemicals for finishes, proper disposal of flammable material, etc.) would be out of place next to people's homes. The neighbors would be very unhappy to hear about it, too.
RESPONSE B: The easiest way is to prorate by square foot. The most accurate way would be to get the office on a separate meter and then use the average of the next three months ratio to the use of the house.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: the neighbor and the guy isn't around at the moment because he is working out of town. I have called the electric company and they won't make any adjustments or credits for me because the guy was stealing from me not them. I still owe on a $350 bill with another one coming up that will be similar and I am not sure how I can afford it.
RESPONSE A: Ask the police for a case number or copy of the report. Contact the electric company with this information. Ask for their special agent or investigation department. In California, public utilities have their own police forces that will work with law enforcement. The junction box between the meters and the individual main breakers should have a seal installed by the utility. Tampering with it is further evidence of the crime. If over $950 in value it's a felony. Is the neighbor still connected to your meter? If so, check with the police before asking your landlord to have an electrician disconnect it. They may want to set up a sting. Don't try to disconnect it yourself. Depending on where the tap was made, you may not be able to de-energize the circuit without pulling the meter. >I have yet to press charges because really I just want my money back and need advice on the best way to do it. You don't technically press charges. The prosecutor and police do. You can request prosecution but it isn't actually your call. As far as getting your money back, the District Attorney's victim restitution program may be able to help. When you contact the utility's investigation department and open a case, mention that you're strapped for cash and ask them to work with their billing department to cut you some slack. Tenants who steal electricity and tamper with utilities typically aren't good tenants. If your landlord is on your side see if they'll put some pressure on the neighbor.
RESPONSE B: Sue the landlord, the maintenance worker in his individual capacity and the tenant. It’s always better to have a judge decide WHICH entity is liable than whether one person is liable. Don’t call the police. Go to the police station and ask for an appointment with an investigator. Insist on charges being filed.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: ing to them has been completely useless. In fact, when I unplugged their car and plugged in my own, they came over and banged on the door, threatening to sue me. I haven't been able to get in touch with their landlord. The third or fourth time I found them charging their car on my plug, I called the police, who told me that this was a civil matter, and wouldn't intervene. What can I do, at this point, to stop them from using my charger? This is in Indiana.
RESPONSE A: The police *might* not be correct about this being solely a civil matter. Depending on the setup in place, the neighbor might be trespassing. Regardless, it doesn't matter what the landlord communicated to your neighbor. Your plug means your electricity. Even if the landlord mistakenly offered it as part of the rental (which I doubt or else the neighbor never would've asked permission in the beginning before becoming more presumptuous), that doesn't mean you owe the neighbor anything. Anyway, you do have a valid civil claim against your neighbor for the value of the electricity they have stolen. However, electricity is relatively cheap so a few nights of charging probably only amounts to a few dollars. Without knowing your exact setup, it's not possible to know which of these might be of use, but some ideas: * Does your car have a setting which prevents the charging cable from being unplugged if the car is locked? * Can you set up alerts with your car to let you know when charging has been interrupted? * Can you move your car into your garage to charge? * Can you control the breaker for the charging spot? * Can you get a physical lock for the charging cable? Like a cover that goes over the end of the cable so it cannot be plugged in. * Can you get a cable that is so short that it barely reached your car and cannot reach wherever your neighbor is parked?
RESPONSE B: Civil matter is BS. It's theft and criminal. I work for an electric utility and when people are caught bypassing the meter (stealing electricity) the popo join us as we visit them to deal with the problem. I would push harder with the police.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: Neighbor keeps stealing power for electric car. My neighbor and I have a shared driveway. I own my house but the neighboring house is a rental. Last year, I bought an electric car, and paid to have a charger installed on my side of the driveway. When I installed it, the previous tenants asked if they could use it on two occasions for guests who had electric cars, and I agreed that they could. Well, the new tenants apparently feel that they're welcome to use it whenever they like to charge their own car. They've actually unplugged my car in order to plug in theirs on a couple of occasions. Of course, this uses my power, but also prevents me from charging my own car, which has caused problems. I went over and asked them to stop using my power, and they were extremely rude and said that it was included in their lease, and that their landlord told them it was included in the property. Talking to them has been completely useless. In fact, when I unplugged their car and plugged in my own, they came over and banged on the door, threatening to sue me. I haven't been able to get in touch with their landlord. The third or fourth time I found them charging their car on my plug, I called the police, who told me that this was a civil matter, and wouldn't intervene. What can I do, at this point, to stop them from using my charger? This is in Indiana.
RESPONSE A: Not a lawyer Everybody is suggesting how to secure your plug, which is good, but my top priority would be finding their landlord. Can’t suggest how is best for you but I’d just call all the local letting agents, check council/land registry records, and google the address in some form to find listings for starters. Your neighbours sound like fucking nutters so better someone else tells them to stop
RESPONSE B: Civil matter is BS. It's theft and criminal. I work for an electric utility and when people are caught bypassing the meter (stealing electricity) the popo join us as we visit them to deal with the problem. I would push harder with the police.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: Neighbor keeps stealing power for electric car. My neighbor and I have a shared driveway. I own my house but the neighboring house is a rental. Last year, I bought an electric car, and paid to have a charger installed on my side of the driveway. When I installed it, the previous tenants asked if they could use it on two occasions for guests who had electric cars, and I agreed that they could. Well, the new tenants apparently feel that they're welcome to use it whenever they like to charge their own car. They've actually unplugged my car in order to plug in theirs on a couple of occasions. Of course, this uses my power, but also prevents me from charging my own car, which has caused problems. I went over and asked them to stop using my power, and they were extremely rude and said that it was included in their lease, and that their landlord told them it was included in the property. Talking to them has been completely useless. In fact, when I unplugged their car and plugged in my own, they came over and banged on the door, threatening to sue me. I haven't been able to get in touch with their landlord. The third or fourth time I found them charging their car on my plug, I called the police, who told me that this was a civil matter, and wouldn't intervene. What can I do, at this point, to stop them from using my charger? This is in Indiana.
RESPONSE A: You can call the police and escalate as this is considered theft of service/trespass. You can also add a disconnect for the charger that is locking. Or deactivate the breaker. I would send them a certified letter to cease and desist as well as to the landlord. If it continues file suit in court for theft of service and name both landlord and tenant, even for a nominal. Sum a recorded win is enforcement and makes the landlord consider eviction
RESPONSE B: Civil matter is BS. It's theft and criminal. I work for an electric utility and when people are caught bypassing the meter (stealing electricity) the popo join us as we visit them to deal with the problem. I would push harder with the police.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: Neighbor keeps stealing power for electric car. My neighbor and I have a shared driveway. I own my house but the neighboring house is a rental. Last year, I bought an electric car, and paid to have a charger installed on my side of the driveway. When I installed it, the previous tenants asked if they could use it on two occasions for guests who had electric cars, and I agreed that they could. Well, the new tenants apparently feel that they're welcome to use it whenever they like to charge their own car. They've actually unplugged my car in order to plug in theirs on a couple of occasions. Of course, this uses my power, but also prevents me from charging my own car, which has caused problems. I went over and asked them to stop using my power, and they were extremely rude and said that it was included in their lease, and that their landlord told them it was included in the property. Talking to them has been completely useless. In fact, when I unplugged their car and plugged in my own, they came over and banged on the door, threatening to sue me. I haven't been able to get in touch with their landlord. The third or fourth time I found them charging their car on my plug, I called the police, who told me that this was a civil matter, and wouldn't intervene. What can I do, at this point, to stop them from using my charger? This is in Indiana.
RESPONSE A: Civil matter is BS. It's theft and criminal. I work for an electric utility and when people are caught bypassing the meter (stealing electricity) the popo join us as we visit them to deal with the problem. I would push harder with the police.
RESPONSE B: I’d get a disconnect Hooked up to it and only turn it on when you need it. Any Electrition would be able to do this.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: to sue me. I haven't been able to get in touch with their landlord. The third or fourth time I found them charging their car on my plug, I called the police, who told me that this was a civil matter, and wouldn't intervene. What can I do, at this point, to stop them from using my charger? This is in Indiana.
RESPONSE A: The police *might* not be correct about this being solely a civil matter. Depending on the setup in place, the neighbor might be trespassing. Regardless, it doesn't matter what the landlord communicated to your neighbor. Your plug means your electricity. Even if the landlord mistakenly offered it as part of the rental (which I doubt or else the neighbor never would've asked permission in the beginning before becoming more presumptuous), that doesn't mean you owe the neighbor anything. Anyway, you do have a valid civil claim against your neighbor for the value of the electricity they have stolen. However, electricity is relatively cheap so a few nights of charging probably only amounts to a few dollars. Without knowing your exact setup, it's not possible to know which of these might be of use, but some ideas: * Does your car have a setting which prevents the charging cable from being unplugged if the car is locked? * Can you set up alerts with your car to let you know when charging has been interrupted? * Can you move your car into your garage to charge? * Can you control the breaker for the charging spot? * Can you get a physical lock for the charging cable? Like a cover that goes over the end of the cable so it cannot be plugged in. * Can you get a cable that is so short that it barely reached your car and cannot reach wherever your neighbor is parked?
RESPONSE B: Send a certified letter to the tenant demanding they stop using the charger. It is not included in their lease as you own the charger. If they continue to use it call the police for every instance. Also consider a dash camera that can be activated without having you drive the car. Installing cameras around your house would be good and have one pointed at the car charging area. Everytime they unplug your car you will have evidence.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: his route changed to include our street. During covid him and his wife filed for a divorce and it turned messy. Since neither of them could afford to move out, she would often come over to my house to take a break from the tension. Her and I were friends and would hang out before the divorce but I didn’t want to “pick sides” because I still had to live next door to him too. I even politely refused when she asked me to be a character witness for her because I didn’t want things to be awkward. Well, about 6 months ago he confronted me outside my house saying that I’m a horrible neighbor and I’m helping his wife screw him out of money. I brushed it off to him being angry about the divorce in general and the fact that we were still friends. Over the next couple of months he would regularly yell at me about little things that he didn’t have an issue with before like a tree branch hanging in his yard or my dogs barking. Then I started realizing that some of my important mail from the IRS or the state was not being delivered. This has happened 6-7 times in the last 4 months. I will request another document to be sent since I never received it and I won’t get that one either. Im getting all other types of mail expect the important ones. I have never had an issue with mail not being delivered/ going missing before this so it just seems suspicious that it’s happening now. I don’t know how to prove it but I know it was him. During the divorce his wife tried to block him from being able to deliver her mail because she also said she was missing mail but apparently the post office dismissed her. What can I do legally and how do I prove this? I do not want him handling my mail if he hates me.
RESPONSE A: Consider signing up for the Postal Service's Informed Delivery service. If it's available in your area, Informed Delivery will email you a picture of the letter-size mail that will be delivered in a day or two, and has a way to report missing mail.
RESPONSE B: Call the postal police. They are probably the scariest law enforcement organization in the US. Tell them you want to file a report.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: covid him and his wife filed for a divorce and it turned messy. Since neither of them could afford to move out, she would often come over to my house to take a break from the tension. Her and I were friends and would hang out before the divorce but I didn’t want to “pick sides” because I still had to live next door to him too. I even politely refused when she asked me to be a character witness for her because I didn’t want things to be awkward. Well, about 6 months ago he confronted me outside my house saying that I’m a horrible neighbor and I’m helping his wife screw him out of money. I brushed it off to him being angry about the divorce in general and the fact that we were still friends. Over the next couple of months he would regularly yell at me about little things that he didn’t have an issue with before like a tree branch hanging in his yard or my dogs barking. Then I started realizing that some of my important mail from the IRS or the state was not being delivered. This has happened 6-7 times in the last 4 months. I will request another document to be sent since I never received it and I won’t get that one either. Im getting all other types of mail expect the important ones. I have never had an issue with mail not being delivered/ going missing before this so it just seems suspicious that it’s happening now. I don’t know how to prove it but I know it was him. During the divorce his wife tried to block him from being able to deliver her mail because she also said she was missing mail but apparently the post office dismissed her. What can I do legally and how do I prove this? I do not want him handling my mail if he hates me.
RESPONSE A: Consider signing up for the Postal Service's Informed Delivery service. If it's available in your area, Informed Delivery will email you a picture of the letter-size mail that will be delivered in a day or two, and has a way to report missing mail.
RESPONSE B: Get a PO Box for important mail. Forward your regular mail to the new PO Box. Problem solved for now. File a written report first with the Postmaster at your post office.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: want things to be awkward. Well, about 6 months ago he confronted me outside my house saying that I’m a horrible neighbor and I’m helping his wife screw him out of money. I brushed it off to him being angry about the divorce in general and the fact that we were still friends. Over the next couple of months he would regularly yell at me about little things that he didn’t have an issue with before like a tree branch hanging in his yard or my dogs barking. Then I started realizing that some of my important mail from the IRS or the state was not being delivered. This has happened 6-7 times in the last 4 months. I will request another document to be sent since I never received it and I won’t get that one either. Im getting all other types of mail expect the important ones. I have never had an issue with mail not being delivered/ going missing before this so it just seems suspicious that it’s happening now. I don’t know how to prove it but I know it was him. During the divorce his wife tried to block him from being able to deliver her mail because she also said she was missing mail but apparently the post office dismissed her. What can I do legally and how do I prove this? I do not want him handling my mail if he hates me.
RESPONSE A: Informed delivery is your record of proof. There's a lot of factors going on with the postal service right now that have made things overall not ideal from any angle, to put it politely. It could be a lot of things. It could be a call to the station. It could be getting a PO Box and seeing if it's an issue of the regular bid assignment's behavior being in error or a blameless technological happenstance. You can always file for a Harassment Restraining Order, but it sounds like a good way to ruin the fragile peace between property lines. A little camera would capture movement near your mailbox and combined with Informed Delivery emails, it may isolate when and where the error is taking place.
RESPONSE B: Get a PO Box for important mail. Forward your regular mail to the new PO Box. Problem solved for now. File a written report first with the Postmaster at your post office.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: Seeking advice on how to handle a misidentification issue that has plagued me for the last 4 years. So here’s the situation: There is an individual wanted by Interpol (for murder) who by extremely unfortunate coincidence, has the same exact name and DOB as me. Besides that, everything else is different; birthplace, nationality, height, weight. Despite that, it’s been a shitshow for me every time I have to go through passport control in another country (I managed to acquire a redress number from DHS so that I don’t have issues at US immigration, as I’m a US Citizen). A whole group of officers would gather and stare at me like a criminal while my wife and daughter are standing next to me. Just recently in Barcelona during our first night there, I got a knock on my hotel room at 4am with 2 Spanish cops asking me about my identity while I was half asleep. Before that, I’ve been questioned in a couple other countries I visited, got delayed starting a new job because it came up during the background check, and was surrounded by multiple cops during a routine traffic stop in my neighborhood because it came up in their database. Fortunately, an officer at Lisbon passport control recently told me that the Interpol notice will expire in August 2024, but there’s no guarantee that it won’t be renewed by the country that wants to find this person, which obviously will continue my issues. My question is, is there anything I can do from a legal aspect that can protect me from these suspicions from law enforcement authorities? The last thing I want is someone aggressive decide to arrest me and ask questions later while I’m in another country with my family. This individual has been the bane of my existence, and I wish I could offer money to have him caught.
RESPONSE A: Have you contacted Interpol?
RESPONSE B: Your best bet is likely to contact INTERPOL to see if they can help resolve this. The Commission for the Control of INTERPOL’s Files is the body that handles issues with data in INTERPOL's systems.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: Seeking advice on how to handle a misidentification issue that has plagued me for the last 4 years. So here’s the situation: There is an individual wanted by Interpol (for murder) who by extremely unfortunate coincidence, has the same exact name and DOB as me. Besides that, everything else is different; birthplace, nationality, height, weight. Despite that, it’s been a shitshow for me every time I have to go through passport control in another country (I managed to acquire a redress number from DHS so that I don’t have issues at US immigration, as I’m a US Citizen). A whole group of officers would gather and stare at me like a criminal while my wife and daughter are standing next to me. Just recently in Barcelona during our first night there, I got a knock on my hotel room at 4am with 2 Spanish cops asking me about my identity while I was half asleep. Before that, I’ve been questioned in a couple other countries I visited, got delayed starting a new job because it came up during the background check, and was surrounded by multiple cops during a routine traffic stop in my neighborhood because it came up in their database. Fortunately, an officer at Lisbon passport control recently told me that the Interpol notice will expire in August 2024, but there’s no guarantee that it won’t be renewed by the country that wants to find this person, which obviously will continue my issues. My question is, is there anything I can do from a legal aspect that can protect me from these suspicions from law enforcement authorities? The last thing I want is someone aggressive decide to arrest me and ask questions later while I’m in another country with my family. This individual has been the bane of my existence, and I wish I could offer money to have him caught.
RESPONSE A: Your best bet is likely to contact INTERPOL to see if they can help resolve this. The Commission for the Control of INTERPOL’s Files is the body that handles issues with data in INTERPOL's systems.
RESPONSE B: r/LegalAdviceEurope/ may be another good place to post. This sub is mostly US specific advice.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: 2yr old son sustained crush injury by automatic sliding door on our new car about 2 weeks ago. Just been notified of a recall to fix an issue with door that has been found to be faulty. So my 2yr old had his hand crushed pretty bad. Needed an X-ray and wouldn’t use the hand for about 4 days. Today received a recall notice saying the software needs an update at it has been found to be faulty, that it may not reverse when some instructions are detected and this could cause injury. I wonder how long they have know about this issue. Would an earlier recall have prevented my sons injury and suffering. I am in Australia. Should I take any action?
RESPONSE A: Curiosity kicking up. There is a service bulletin for our van and haven't gotten it done yet and we've got small kids and haven't had a chance to get it taken in. What make/model?
RESPONSE B: Hi, I just wanted to say thank you for posting this. We have been having trouble with our Kia Sedona van (Canada) and your post prompted me to look for recalls and low and behold ours is also part of the recall. I’m sorry for your son - best wishes for a speedy recovery!
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: My GF’s restaurant job is claiming more tips than she actually makes per week resulting in her getting a $0 net pay from them on her check. Management denies it and gives us the run around. Who do we go to for this type of situation? Her paycheck shows about $1,400 claimed tips with about $1,200 in taxable deductions(take home cash I am assuming) but in reality she’s likely walked home around $500 in this period. This is based on 34 total hours of work, 17 hours a week. Some shifts are banquets that she will work and they get paid out to her on the check rather than cash but with a $0 check she makes nothing from that shift. There’s a lot to this and it just blows my mind.
RESPONSE A: Between the tips being cashed out and the taxes on the tips being taken out of the paycheck, it's not unusual for servers to end up with zero net pay on their check. Some restaurants do report a minimum percentage of tips to avoid getting in trouble with IRS, it's possible that could be happening here. Without understanding exactly what she's walking away with every day in tips and the specifics of her paystub, it's hard to say for sure if something illegal is happening. If restaurant says they are paying credit card tips on her check and not cashing them out at end of shift, then her paycheck should definitely be higher unless everyone tips in cash.
RESPONSE B: What location?
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: My GF’s restaurant job is claiming more tips than she actually makes per week resulting in her getting a $0 net pay from them on her check. Management denies it and gives us the run around. Who do we go to for this type of situation? Her paycheck shows about $1,400 claimed tips with about $1,200 in taxable deductions(take home cash I am assuming) but in reality she’s likely walked home around $500 in this period. This is based on 34 total hours of work, 17 hours a week. Some shifts are banquets that she will work and they get paid out to her on the check rather than cash but with a $0 check she makes nothing from that shift. There’s a lot to this and it just blows my mind.
RESPONSE A: What location?
RESPONSE B: You need to break down how much she made in cash tips, how much in credit card tips, and how much she tips out to bussers, etc. From there, you compare those numbers with the cash and credit card tip amounts that the restaurant is reporting and you'll be able to see where they are overestimating her tips. In general, the tips being claimed should be at least 12% of the server's sales to avoid IRS issues. Servers usually something right around 12% or so. It would be unusual for a server to claim more than about 15-17% of sales. So you can also check her sales for those two weeks as a sanity check. At $500 in claimed tips, her sales for 2 weeks should be around $4,200, which seems pretty low, tbh. At $1,400 in claimed tips, her sales should be $11,500 or so, which sounds like it's closer to accurate, but maybe a bit high for 6 - 7 shifts. Both parties may be a bit off in their accounting here. Her best bet is to start keeping very accurate and detailed logs of all her tips for a pay period, and then going back to management with her results. In the meantime, she might have some luck asking another server to look over her pay stub to see if anything looks unusual.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: Kansas: My neighbors appear to be hiding a vehicle between my rental home's fence, and their garage. It is parked on grass that i am responsible for mowing, so i assume "my property". If its stolen, or was involved in a crime, could i get in trouble? They covered the plate with a paper towel...
RESPONSE A: Maybe they're trying to avoid getting it repo'd? Although what's the point if they can't drive it.
RESPONSE B: If you like your neighbors, ask what's going on or if they can move it periodically so you can keep mowing. If you do not like them, call the police non-emergency number and report the plate and make, stating that you found it hidden. Is there a chance a 3rd party stashed it and they don't know it's there?
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: false...in fact the neighbor directly across the hall also has two cats!) She continued on by saying "well the neighbors are sure that it's coming from your apartment." I asked how the neighbors could be certain of that. Then she backtracked. "*Well actually the neighbors haven't made any complaints*, but I think there's a cat smell here." Then she claimed that she knew there was a cat smell "because I can tell when you come to pay the rent." Uh...really? "*OK maybe it isn't cat smell*, I don't know, maybe you smell bad? I don't know." I was totally speechless. Then she quickly made excuses, saying she'd be back next week, and took off. ​ I realize this is a situation almost too stupid for words, but I'm at my wits' end here. Basically the landlord is threatening me over a totally non-existent problem, compounding it by lying about "neighbors' complaints" that never happened, and topping it off by insulting me about alleged bad body odor. (And yes I'll be the first to agree that people are immune to their own body odor, but she's claimed that it can be smelled in the hallway outside of my apartment even when I haven't been there for days!) I'm not sure what the legal remedy might be for this, but this harassment absolutely has to stop. I'm furious that I've been lied to, threatened, and insulted over this.
RESPONSE A: Yeahhh... I work in property management and agree with the previous comment. Your landlord is gearing up for something involved with you specifically. It’s unprofessional. I would leave as soon as possible which is likely what she wants you to do.
RESPONSE B: Legal advice: landlord hasn't done anything illegal. If she files for eviction, show up. Practical: no more friendly chats. Email only, strictly business. Send rent via your bank's bill pay, or certified mail. If you must speak in person, record her. There's something fishy afoot, either in her intentions or in her noodle.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: a rental that has had multiple families move in and out over the past 10 years. 2 years ago a middle age man and his son in his late 20's moved in. About a month after their initial move in I wake up at 2am to the son banging on our door, saying that "I know it's you talking outside my window, watch you back I'm gonna fucking kill you". After a call to the police(who told me they really couldn't do anything because neither him nor his father would answer after we called) we learned from the father that his son had suffered some sort of brain injury and showed signs of psychosis and that he was on medication for it, but he wont take it and his father wont force him to. From here on out for the next two years it's become a cycle of 2 months of silence, 2 weeks of harrassment before things come to a head and we have to call the cops, and nothing gets done. this week however after a heated confrontation he pushed my shoulders, took a kick at my legs, and threatened to rape my mother. Again another call to the cops and nothing, and I'm at my wits end. I have an anxiety disorder and I'm tired of being nervous to go outside MY OWN FUCKING HOUSE, and I feel like if this keeps going on, someone is going to get VERY hurt, So what do I do? PS: Some more info on my neighbor, he has an active case for aggravated stalking against another neighbor of ours that he is currently out on bail for, and before living in the unit he has spent two years in jail for kidnapping/assault with deadly weapon/ sexual assault. Also obviously I'm not a lawyer but is his father allowed to leave his son unattended for 8 hrs at a time? hes a night uber driver and when he leaves his son starts stalking around the neighborhood
RESPONSE A: Escalate it up the chain of command with the police; you were physically assaulted. They can’t just ignore that, especially since he has a record.
RESPONSE B: Call APS
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: years. 2 years ago a middle age man and his son in his late 20's moved in. About a month after their initial move in I wake up at 2am to the son banging on our door, saying that "I know it's you talking outside my window, watch you back I'm gonna fucking kill you". After a call to the police(who told me they really couldn't do anything because neither him nor his father would answer after we called) we learned from the father that his son had suffered some sort of brain injury and showed signs of psychosis and that he was on medication for it, but he wont take it and his father wont force him to. From here on out for the next two years it's become a cycle of 2 months of silence, 2 weeks of harrassment before things come to a head and we have to call the cops, and nothing gets done. this week however after a heated confrontation he pushed my shoulders, took a kick at my legs, and threatened to rape my mother. Again another call to the cops and nothing, and I'm at my wits end. I have an anxiety disorder and I'm tired of being nervous to go outside MY OWN FUCKING HOUSE, and I feel like if this keeps going on, someone is going to get VERY hurt, So what do I do? PS: Some more info on my neighbor, he has an active case for aggravated stalking against another neighbor of ours that he is currently out on bail for, and before living in the unit he has spent two years in jail for kidnapping/assault with deadly weapon/ sexual assault. Also obviously I'm not a lawyer but is his father allowed to leave his son unattended for 8 hrs at a time? hes a night uber driver and when he leaves his son starts stalking around the neighborhood
RESPONSE A: Do you know who the owner of the rental is? I bet they would like to know what is going on and that they are harassing others.
RESPONSE B: It's perfectly legal for the father to leave his adult son unattended while he's at work.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: My mother was fired abruptly after 25+ years of service My mother worked at Wendys for around 28 years and last week she was fired for "upsetting a coworker". No written warning, as per the policy in the handbook. Was told she had been given two prior verbal warnings but that was it. In the last couple years it had come to my mothers attention, through various conversations with her coworkers, that employees just starting out were being paid more than my mother. And that other employees were getting raise increases more than my mother. After 28 years you would think she would be at least making the same amount as people starting. My question is, is there a case here on the pay discrepancy alone? How could she go about legal action against her former employer and whose attention would she need to get? She is located in PA. She will be 60 this year and is a widow, and now being unemployed may be tough to pursue this cause if it is a lost one from the get go. The Wendys is I believe a franchise location, but it may have went corporate a couple years ago.
RESPONSE A: When your mother turns 60 because she is a widow she will be eligible to draw off her husband's Social Security account (if this is in the USA and he paid into SSA). So I hope that will be able to help you. Normally, you have to have a written warning after a verbal warning before you can be fired but consult with an attorney who specializes in age discrimination cases.
RESPONSE B: Yeah you can be fired for being mean. You can be fired for almost any reason, save for reasons forbidden by law (being a woman, for example, Caroline Products FN4 and whatever else has come after, been awhile since I took Con Law). But she has a ton of experience. She should apply to damn near any fast food joint that needs people and get a job. I am sure she knows the jkb well enough to be a shift Mgr. So when she does that, she needs to go back and thank the people at Wendy's for forcing her from her comfort zone and getting the promotion and raise she deserved.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: My mother was fired abruptly after 25+ years of service My mother worked at Wendys for around 28 years and last week she was fired for "upsetting a coworker". No written warning, as per the policy in the handbook. Was told she had been given two prior verbal warnings but that was it. In the last couple years it had come to my mothers attention, through various conversations with her coworkers, that employees just starting out were being paid more than my mother. And that other employees were getting raise increases more than my mother. After 28 years you would think she would be at least making the same amount as people starting. My question is, is there a case here on the pay discrepancy alone? How could she go about legal action against her former employer and whose attention would she need to get? She is located in PA. She will be 60 this year and is a widow, and now being unemployed may be tough to pursue this cause if it is a lost one from the get go. The Wendys is I believe a franchise location, but it may have went corporate a couple years ago.
RESPONSE A: If she was being paid less than new employees then she can apply at another fast food restaurant and make more money. Is she losing benefits?
RESPONSE B: *In the last couple years it had come to my mothers attention, through various conversations with her coworkers, that employees just starting out were being paid more than my mother.* This is everywhere. In today's job market, the way to raise your income is to change jobs. Staying in the same fast food job for over 20 years is not the way to make money or advance yourself. Not even saying you have to get out of fast food, you just have to change jobs often at least every 5 years or so to get paid.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: WV - My girlfriend works as an RA at a university, and they’ve told her she’s not allowed to work more than 10 hours anywhere besides the university. Is this legal? She’s been working as an RA for a while and recently picked up a promotion, but they’ve told her the entire time that she’s only allowed to work 10 hours a week total. So she can’t go pick up weekend shifts at Walmart or wherever and make any extra money. Is this totally legal? If it’s not, what can she do to express that tactfully, and what resources can she use to convey that she in fact can work more than they want to allow? Thanks a bunch everyone.
RESPONSE A: If it's in her agreement, yes, it's legal. An RA is a resource for the students in the dorm. Having RAs who are never there between work and classes and their social lives isn't beneficial to the school or the students.
RESPONSE B: Yes it is legal. They can set any conditions of employment unless it is discrimination of a protected class. She accepts them by working there.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: WV - My girlfriend works as an RA at a university, and they’ve told her she’s not allowed to work more than 10 hours anywhere besides the university. Is this legal? She’s been working as an RA for a while and recently picked up a promotion, but they’ve told her the entire time that she’s only allowed to work 10 hours a week total. So she can’t go pick up weekend shifts at Walmart or wherever and make any extra money. Is this totally legal? If it’s not, what can she do to express that tactfully, and what resources can she use to convey that she in fact can work more than they want to allow? Thanks a bunch everyone.
RESPONSE A: It's legal for them to fire her as an RA if she has another job.
RESPONSE B: If it's in her agreement, yes, it's legal. An RA is a resource for the students in the dorm. Having RAs who are never there between work and classes and their social lives isn't beneficial to the school or the students.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: My GF made me write a signed document stating that if I cheat on her again, I have to send her $10k. Will this actually hold any power over me? The location is Charlotte, North Carolina. It's not that I will ever cheat on her, it's just scary giving rise to the possibility of this being held over me, and it wasn't even written in there that it becomes void if we break up. She was recording me write it but didn't get me signing it on camera. I'm mainly looking for peace of mind that it can't actually be used against me and it was honestly just supposed to be kind of funny for us and a way to help us move on, but the more I think about it, the more its kinda freakin me out. Heres a link to a photo of it. https://imgur.com/a/BDri8rz Any help is appreciated!
RESPONSE A: >and it wasn't even written in there that it becomes void if we break up If you break up with her, you can't be cheating on her. But it only specifies women, so you can engage with men as much as you want, so go wild! As others have mentioned, I don't think this would hold up and you two really should just move on from one another.
RESPONSE B: The document does not mention when you would need the pay the money or give a puppy. Also, you need to pay Alyssa the money but who is Alyssa? Is it the same Alyssa whose names is blanked out? There are many things wrong with this document.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: My GF made me write a signed document stating that if I cheat on her again, I have to send her $10k. Will this actually hold any power over me? The location is Charlotte, North Carolina. It's not that I will ever cheat on her, it's just scary giving rise to the possibility of this being held over me, and it wasn't even written in there that it becomes void if we break up. She was recording me write it but didn't get me signing it on camera. I'm mainly looking for peace of mind that it can't actually be used against me and it was honestly just supposed to be kind of funny for us and a way to help us move on, but the more I think about it, the more its kinda freakin me out. Heres a link to a photo of it. https://imgur.com/a/BDri8rz Any help is appreciated!
RESPONSE A: No.
RESPONSE B: >and it wasn't even written in there that it becomes void if we break up If you break up with her, you can't be cheating on her. But it only specifies women, so you can engage with men as much as you want, so go wild! As others have mentioned, I don't think this would hold up and you two really should just move on from one another.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: My GF made me write a signed document stating that if I cheat on her again, I have to send her $10k. Will this actually hold any power over me? The location is Charlotte, North Carolina. It's not that I will ever cheat on her, it's just scary giving rise to the possibility of this being held over me, and it wasn't even written in there that it becomes void if we break up. She was recording me write it but didn't get me signing it on camera. I'm mainly looking for peace of mind that it can't actually be used against me and it was honestly just supposed to be kind of funny for us and a way to help us move on, but the more I think about it, the more its kinda freakin me out. Heres a link to a photo of it. https://imgur.com/a/BDri8rz Any help is appreciated!
RESPONSE A: The document does not mention when you would need the pay the money or give a puppy. Also, you need to pay Alyssa the money but who is Alyssa? Is it the same Alyssa whose names is blanked out? There are many things wrong with this document.
RESPONSE B: It appears to lack consideration. A contract requires consideration. Consideration being what she offers in return for the consideration you provided her. Both parties must offer some form of consideration. For instance, a piece of paper that says "IOU $60 dollars - signed X" is worthless because it lacks consideration. But a piece of paper that says "IOU $60 dollars in exchange for mowing my yard - signed X" is enforceable. Because the consideration exchanged for that $60 dollars is mowing the yard. Consideration must be provided by both parties.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: My GF made me write a signed document stating that if I cheat on her again, I have to send her $10k. Will this actually hold any power over me? The location is Charlotte, North Carolina. It's not that I will ever cheat on her, it's just scary giving rise to the possibility of this being held over me, and it wasn't even written in there that it becomes void if we break up. She was recording me write it but didn't get me signing it on camera. I'm mainly looking for peace of mind that it can't actually be used against me and it was honestly just supposed to be kind of funny for us and a way to help us move on, but the more I think about it, the more its kinda freakin me out. Heres a link to a photo of it. https://imgur.com/a/BDri8rz Any help is appreciated!
RESPONSE A: It appears to lack consideration. A contract requires consideration. Consideration being what she offers in return for the consideration you provided her. Both parties must offer some form of consideration. For instance, a piece of paper that says "IOU $60 dollars - signed X" is worthless because it lacks consideration. But a piece of paper that says "IOU $60 dollars in exchange for mowing my yard - signed X" is enforceable. Because the consideration exchanged for that $60 dollars is mowing the yard. Consideration must be provided by both parties.
RESPONSE B: No.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: My GF made me write a signed document stating that if I cheat on her again, I have to send her $10k. Will this actually hold any power over me? The location is Charlotte, North Carolina. It's not that I will ever cheat on her, it's just scary giving rise to the possibility of this being held over me, and it wasn't even written in there that it becomes void if we break up. She was recording me write it but didn't get me signing it on camera. I'm mainly looking for peace of mind that it can't actually be used against me and it was honestly just supposed to be kind of funny for us and a way to help us move on, but the more I think about it, the more its kinda freakin me out. Heres a link to a photo of it. https://imgur.com/a/BDri8rz Any help is appreciated!
RESPONSE A: The document does not mention when you would need the pay the money or give a puppy. Also, you need to pay Alyssa the money but who is Alyssa? Is it the same Alyssa whose names is blanked out? There are many things wrong with this document.
RESPONSE B: No.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: s classes due to her pumping schedule. I know this doesn't seem like a big deal, but it stresses her out. Now there is one particular woman who isn't happy the my wife is pumping in this room. I guess because other people are in there. This woman started a text chain with everyone in the special education department (wife's department) except my wife. The purpose of this was this lady asking if anyone else had a problem with my wife pumping in that room. My wife found out about this when a friend of hers told her about the text chain because she didn't want to be talking about her behind her back. Now this lady has gone to the head of the SpEd department complaining that someone walked in on my wife pumping. This is a straight up lie because it is not possible to see my wife without her seeing you as well or without climbing on top of and across multiple filing cabinets. This morning this lady came in to the room when my wife was pumping and said "I thought you weren't allowed to pump in here anymore." My wife informed her that none of the other areas provided to her has reasonable access to refrigeration or running water. One was literally an electrical closet on the other side of the building. Plus no one had told her anything even remotely close to that. My wife replied that it is not her (wife's) responsibility to find an adequate place to pump. It is the schools responsibility to provide an adequate space. The lady then told my wife that she would find something else by the end of the day. This lady's constant harping on this has really stressed out my wife. It is actually affecting her milk supply. She gets less than half the amount when pumping at work than when she pumps at home. I'm also very frustrated. At what point is this harassment, hostile work environment, or some other violation of state/federal law? What's the best way to handle this if things continue to deteriorate?
RESPONSE A: Assuming this lady is just some random other employee, your wife should report the harassment to her management.
RESPONSE B: Is your wife part of a union? If so, she should speak with her union rep. If not (or in addition to), she absolutely should address this with the administration.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: pumping and said "I thought you weren't allowed to pump in here anymore." My wife informed her that none of the other areas provided to her has reasonable access to refrigeration or running water. One was literally an electrical closet on the other side of the building. Plus no one had told her anything even remotely close to that. My wife replied that it is not her (wife's) responsibility to find an adequate place to pump. It is the schools responsibility to provide an adequate space. The lady then told my wife that she would find something else by the end of the day. This lady's constant harping on this has really stressed out my wife. It is actually affecting her milk supply. She gets less than half the amount when pumping at work than when she pumps at home. I'm also very frustrated. At what point is this harassment, hostile work environment, or some other violation of state/federal law? What's the best way to handle this if things continue to deteriorate?
RESPONSE A: Assuming this lady is just some random other employee, your wife should report the harassment to her management.
RESPONSE B: Not a lawyer, just a lurker. Sounds like this "lady" needs to be reminded that it's a federal law that your wife be provided both the time and a non-bathroom space to pump. If I were her, I'd reach out to either/both the school's HR department and/or teacher's union (of applicable). I would think that both/either would want to nip this in the bud before it escalates into am obvious legal issues that would open them to liability (again, Not a lawyer, but my thinking is that if this woman gets it in her mind to barge in on your wife to prove a point, your wife could make a car for harassment, assault, etc. My understanding is that the employer has to provide a non-bathroom space with a locking door.) Side advice: get your wife a nice set of headphones or ear buds, so she can listen to something nice and calming while pumping at work. May help ease the stress by both providing a calming atmosphere, and blocking out any remarks, comments, or questions from this person.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: gets less than half the amount when pumping at work than when she pumps at home. I'm also very frustrated. At what point is this harassment, hostile work environment, or some other violation of state/federal law? What's the best way to handle this if things continue to deteriorate?
RESPONSE A: It appears she is being harassed. Here is the Virginia state law protecting her right: Enacted in 2015, Va. Code § 32.1-370 states in relevant part, “A mother may breastfeed in any place where the mother is lawfully present…” If you have a question or concern about this law or feel your rights have been violated please email vabreastfeeds@vdh.virginia.gov Also a school employee specific law can be found here: https://lis.virginia.gov/cgi-bin/legp604.exe?141+ful+HB720ER+pdf And to save you a click: “Be it enacted by the General Assembly of Virginia: 1. That the Code of Virginia is amended by adding a section numbered 22.1-79.5 as follows: § 22.1-79.5. Employee lactation support policy. Each local school board shall adopt a policy to set aside, in each school in the school division, a non-restroom location that is shielded from the public view to be designated as an area in which any mother who is employed by the local school board or enrolled as a student may take breaks of reasonable length during the school day to express milk to feed her child until the child reaches the age of one.” Your wife may also have additional rights if she is a member of a teachers union. She could also take this matter to HR or straight to the Board of Education. Edit: The first one, Va. Code § 32.1-370 covers breastfeeding on Commonwealth property so not applicable unless it’s a school owned or operated by the Commonwealth of Virginia. But the second one, § 22.1-79.5 would apply to all public (presumably) schools.
RESPONSE B: Is your wife part of a union? If so, she should speak with her union rep. If not (or in addition to), she absolutely should address this with the administration.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: My longterm employer has changed policy after 7 years and is attempting to hold a pay period of salary. Background: I was hired approximately 7 years ago by a mid-sized organization in NYC and have worked here very happily since. Regular pay raises, solid benefits, generally a good place to work. A week ago, I was told that due to a change in hiring moving forward, all new fulltime employees have their first pay periods pay withheld, to begin pay at the end of the second pay period they are employed. The reason I was told this is that the Org would like to 'bring it's more senior fulltime employees into compliance' with a policy set up more than 7 years after I signed an employment contract I still have onhand today. It plans to do this by either withholding the first pay period of my salary this upcoming financial year(August, for us) OR by 'loaning' me my salary, and then having me pay it back interest free of 24 pay periods. I am aware they cannot legally dun money from my paycheck, so they want to set it up where I am writing them checks. This also effects about 20+ more people in an org of about 250. This was introduced on the heels of 'a 4% raise', which is wholly consumed by this plan of theirs. It will in effect if they can do this cut my pay about 5 dollars a pay period. The entirety of the situation seems incredibly sketchy to me, which is sad, as the organization has not done something like this before, and it feels really unpleasant. Does anyone here have any insight?
RESPONSE A: Yes it's legal as long as they pay you at least semi monthly.
RESPONSE B: Can you clarify, are they changing your pay schedule (e.g., going from weekly to every other week, or from every other week to once a month)? If so, you will get that money (same amount per year), just at a different time. Or are they expecting a week or two weeks of work that you will *never* get paid for (so your amount per year goes down)? If the former, changing the pay schedule is legal. If the latter, that is problematic.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: paternal side is okay with granting me access to them? Location - Kentucky. My girlfriend passed away unexpectedly last week. We were in a relationship for 7 years, and we had a four-year-old son together. Her funeral is this Tuesday. Because her mother's side of the family did not agree with us being in a same-sex relationship, they are saying that they are going to refuse to allow me into the funeral home for her wake and for her funeral, and refuse to allow me access to her grave site at the cemetery at any point in the future. Her father's side of the family was more accepting of our relationship, and says that they would not protest if I showed up to the wake, funeral, or grave site. Can I be barred from the funeral/wake/grave site if only one side of the family disagrees with me being there? What would happen if I showed up to the funeral even though the maternal side of her family has requested that I not attend? Is there anything I can do?
RESPONSE A: I'm so very sorry for your loss and that your gf's mother's family are being this way. As far as the funeral is concerned, the family members who are in charge of and pay for the funeral can specify who can attend. It's unfortunate and awful that homophobic families can and sometimes do exclude same-sex partners from funerals, but it happens. It happened to a friend of mine when he lost his fiancé. Perhaps her father's family can advocate on your behalf if they are sharing the cost of the funeral. As far as the cemetery is concerned, it's not up to them who can visit a grave. That's up to whomever owns the cemetery. Generally, cemeteries are open to the public and they do not bar people just because the family doesn't like them.
RESPONSE B: I'm so sorry for your loss. Are they expecting your child would also be barred from attending? I was kept away from my dad's funeral because of a feud between my mum and his mum. I regret it even 30 years later. Could you ring the nice side of the family and ask them to take you with them as part of their group.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: [KY]My girlfriend of seven years passed away last week. Is the maternal side of her family allowed to deny me entry to her funeral/wake/burial site if the paternal side is okay with granting me access to them? Location - Kentucky. My girlfriend passed away unexpectedly last week. We were in a relationship for 7 years, and we had a four-year-old son together. Her funeral is this Tuesday. Because her mother's side of the family did not agree with us being in a same-sex relationship, they are saying that they are going to refuse to allow me into the funeral home for her wake and for her funeral, and refuse to allow me access to her grave site at the cemetery at any point in the future. Her father's side of the family was more accepting of our relationship, and says that they would not protest if I showed up to the wake, funeral, or grave site. Can I be barred from the funeral/wake/grave site if only one side of the family disagrees with me being there? What would happen if I showed up to the funeral even though the maternal side of her family has requested that I not attend? Is there anything I can do?
RESPONSE A: Sorry for your loss. They can likely block you from the funeral home, and the wake. Though if it's a large enough event you should be able to attend discreetly. However, they do not control the cemetery, which is publicly accessible. You should be able to go to her grave site unless she is buried someplace very unusual.
RESPONSE B: Maybe a hail Mary, but you could try contacting the funeral home and explain your relationship and they might accommodate you and your child to have a private moment with your girlfriend before or after the service. I am sorry for your loss.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: the funeral/wake/grave site if only one side of the family disagrees with me being there? What would happen if I showed up to the funeral even though the maternal side of her family has requested that I not attend? Is there anything I can do?
RESPONSE A: Maybe a hail Mary, but you could try contacting the funeral home and explain your relationship and they might accommodate you and your child to have a private moment with your girlfriend before or after the service. I am sorry for your loss.
RESPONSE B: I'm so sorry, I hope you and your son can recover from this soon. My own girlfriend has a heart condition, and I've had these exact same fears myself because her family are very unpleasant about her being gay. Legally speaking, it's a private function on private land, so if they're paying then yes you can be legally barred. My suggestion is to REALLY get in with your FIL's side, and failing that... honestly, hold your own memorial. Your partner loved you, you loved and love her, your son loves his mothers. I'm sure the family you have outside her blood relatives loved her and love you still. Hold your own memorial - perhaps even at the cemetery itself with permission from the owners. If the FIL is paying for half the event, then I would say the legal basis for them ejecting you becomes a lot more ambiguous. I would honestly turn up anyway, because in your position I wouldn't be able to stop myself, but do be aware that there's a good chance you will have the police called and if you do, then legally the chance is better than not that they will win. I'm so sorry for you and your son's loss. But even if you can't attend the funeral or the wake, they cannot bar you from the grave site and they can _never_ take away the love you have together, or the seven years of joy you shared. They are trying to turn your love into a way to hurt you, but never forget that your partner chose you and your son over them. They're doing this because they're bitter that _you two won_. Even in her passing, you've won together. Don't forget that.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: [KY]My girlfriend of seven years passed away last week. Is the maternal side of her family allowed to deny me entry to her funeral/wake/burial site if the paternal side is okay with granting me access to them? Location - Kentucky. My girlfriend passed away unexpectedly last week. We were in a relationship for 7 years, and we had a four-year-old son together. Her funeral is this Tuesday. Because her mother's side of the family did not agree with us being in a same-sex relationship, they are saying that they are going to refuse to allow me into the funeral home for her wake and for her funeral, and refuse to allow me access to her grave site at the cemetery at any point in the future. Her father's side of the family was more accepting of our relationship, and says that they would not protest if I showed up to the wake, funeral, or grave site. Can I be barred from the funeral/wake/grave site if only one side of the family disagrees with me being there? What would happen if I showed up to the funeral even though the maternal side of her family has requested that I not attend? Is there anything I can do?
RESPONSE A: Unless this is some kind of bizarre swanky secret cemetery, regardless of the funeral and memorial outcome, you should be able to go and visit the grave afterward anytime you want, and the cemetery will not even approach you at all, let alone ID you and then check a list to see if you're allowed in. Absolute worst case scenario here (I'll defer to the advice of others on the topic of the funeral itself) you can always wait another week or so for the heat to die down and then just go to the grave-site yourself.
RESPONSE B: Maybe a hail Mary, but you could try contacting the funeral home and explain your relationship and they might accommodate you and your child to have a private moment with your girlfriend before or after the service. I am sorry for your loss.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: change was because of the force of impact, and I was rear-ended twice -- that usually rules out fault, automatically. But no, this is really my life right now. My boss KNEW this was a likelihood, and I feel the only reason he never told me about it was because he knew I wouldn't deliver if I had to pay extra insurance for it. I wasn't even scheduled that day, and I don't think I was clocked in (I just came in to run the delivery because he was busy as hell). I quit because working for him ruined my life, and I don't regret it. Do I even have a chance of getting out of this alive? At this point, I'm starting to see living through the accident as the opposite of a blessing.
RESPONSE A: It's possible b/c most likely they rescinded your policy for misrepresentation. When you took out the policy you didn't indicate you were using the vehicle for business purposes, and some carriers consider this error or mistake on your part as misleading them to influence (decrease) your rates and that is material misrepresentation. That factor would have had a HUGE effect on your rates, I surmise. The drivers who rear ended you are stupid for suing you. You aren't the proximate cause of this accdient. You took an emergency evasive action and they were unable to avoid hitting you. If anything, I'd say you would have a case to sue THEM for following too closely IF AND ONLY IF you never left your lane (ie swerved into the next lane over in front of them). You need to talk to an attorney since you have no insurance company to defend this. I know you can't afford it, but you need to figure out how to.
RESPONSE B: 1. It is almost certain that your employer is liable for damages incurred while you were driving for work. 2. You have a strong counter-suit because rearending someone is almost always ruled the fault of the person who rear-ends (they were following too closely for safety). 3. Talk to a lawyer. You should be able to get a 30 minute free consultation.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: He knew for two years I was driving uninsured, sometimes for two hours at a time, and never said anything. So, after my insurance company received the police report, they dropped me retroactively. That means I technically didn't have insurance when that accident happened, so the drivers of vehicles that rear-ended me are now suing me to the tune of $30,000. I don't understand how it's possible, since I was not blamed for the accident by the insurance investigators. It was ruled a "no fault accident". Also the police report states the only reason I made a lane change was because of the force of impact, and I was rear-ended twice -- that usually rules out fault, automatically. But no, this is really my life right now. My boss KNEW this was a likelihood, and I feel the only reason he never told me about it was because he knew I wouldn't deliver if I had to pay extra insurance for it. I wasn't even scheduled that day, and I don't think I was clocked in (I just came in to run the delivery because he was busy as hell). I quit because working for him ruined my life, and I don't regret it. Do I even have a chance of getting out of this alive? At this point, I'm starting to see living through the accident as the opposite of a blessing.
RESPONSE A: 1. It is almost certain that your employer is liable for damages incurred while you were driving for work. 2. You have a strong counter-suit because rearending someone is almost always ruled the fault of the person who rear-ends (they were following too closely for safety). 3. Talk to a lawyer. You should be able to get a 30 minute free consultation.
RESPONSE B: If you had asked about this for your agent and he said it would be covered, you could sue your agent. That is a very common exclusion in auto policies, nearly all p&c companies actually, this is also why reading your 20 page declaration sheet is important. I am an insurance agent in Illinois and that is one question I ask every one of my insureds is do you use the vehicle for any business use. :( Im sorry it happened to you.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: , and never said anything. So, after my insurance company received the police report, they dropped me retroactively. That means I technically didn't have insurance when that accident happened, so the drivers of vehicles that rear-ended me are now suing me to the tune of $30,000. I don't understand how it's possible, since I was not blamed for the accident by the insurance investigators. It was ruled a "no fault accident". Also the police report states the only reason I made a lane change was because of the force of impact, and I was rear-ended twice -- that usually rules out fault, automatically. But no, this is really my life right now. My boss KNEW this was a likelihood, and I feel the only reason he never told me about it was because he knew I wouldn't deliver if I had to pay extra insurance for it. I wasn't even scheduled that day, and I don't think I was clocked in (I just came in to run the delivery because he was busy as hell). I quit because working for him ruined my life, and I don't regret it. Do I even have a chance of getting out of this alive? At this point, I'm starting to see living through the accident as the opposite of a blessing.
RESPONSE A: 1. It is almost certain that your employer is liable for damages incurred while you were driving for work. 2. You have a strong counter-suit because rearending someone is almost always ruled the fault of the person who rear-ends (they were following too closely for safety). 3. Talk to a lawyer. You should be able to get a 30 minute free consultation.
RESPONSE B: I am not a lawyer, Its legal arm twisting, blame assignment is pretty clear in rear end cases, you drove well if you were able to avoid the car in front, as long as the police report does not say you changed lanes, you have a good change of winning and the lawyer should be able to recover costs. So go talk to a lawyer, your life is not ruined. Cheer up ! You may however lose your license as states are strict about people without insurance causing accidents. In WA you definitely lose it for some time.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: I was not blamed for the accident by the insurance investigators. It was ruled a "no fault accident". Also the police report states the only reason I made a lane change was because of the force of impact, and I was rear-ended twice -- that usually rules out fault, automatically. But no, this is really my life right now. My boss KNEW this was a likelihood, and I feel the only reason he never told me about it was because he knew I wouldn't deliver if I had to pay extra insurance for it. I wasn't even scheduled that day, and I don't think I was clocked in (I just came in to run the delivery because he was busy as hell). I quit because working for him ruined my life, and I don't regret it. Do I even have a chance of getting out of this alive? At this point, I'm starting to see living through the accident as the opposite of a blessing.
RESPONSE A: I am a lawyer. I do insurance work. You need one. Whether the carrier can enforce an exclusion retroactively is an open question. Whether you were an agent of the pizza place in the course of your employment is pretty clear. The impact ( okay, its a pun) is that there may be coverage. You just have to get a lawyer to figure it out. StarryC makes some good points, too. There are lots of insurance defense and insurance coverage attorneys around. When I need someone in an area I am not familiar with I use www.Martindale.com website, lawyer search. Filter for the city where the accident happened and insurance defense or coverage, maybe plaintiffs personal injury. Plaintiff lawyers like to get paid so they often know a lot about getting insurance to cover a loss.
RESPONSE B: If you had asked about this for your agent and he said it would be covered, you could sue your agent. That is a very common exclusion in auto policies, nearly all p&c companies actually, this is also why reading your 20 page declaration sheet is important. I am an insurance agent in Illinois and that is one question I ask every one of my insureds is do you use the vehicle for any business use. :( Im sorry it happened to you.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: no fault accident". Also the police report states the only reason I made a lane change was because of the force of impact, and I was rear-ended twice -- that usually rules out fault, automatically. But no, this is really my life right now. My boss KNEW this was a likelihood, and I feel the only reason he never told me about it was because he knew I wouldn't deliver if I had to pay extra insurance for it. I wasn't even scheduled that day, and I don't think I was clocked in (I just came in to run the delivery because he was busy as hell). I quit because working for him ruined my life, and I don't regret it. Do I even have a chance of getting out of this alive? At this point, I'm starting to see living through the accident as the opposite of a blessing.
RESPONSE A: I am not a lawyer, Its legal arm twisting, blame assignment is pretty clear in rear end cases, you drove well if you were able to avoid the car in front, as long as the police report does not say you changed lanes, you have a good change of winning and the lawyer should be able to recover costs. So go talk to a lawyer, your life is not ruined. Cheer up ! You may however lose your license as states are strict about people without insurance causing accidents. In WA you definitely lose it for some time.
RESPONSE B: I am a lawyer. I do insurance work. You need one. Whether the carrier can enforce an exclusion retroactively is an open question. Whether you were an agent of the pizza place in the course of your employment is pretty clear. The impact ( okay, its a pun) is that there may be coverage. You just have to get a lawyer to figure it out. StarryC makes some good points, too. There are lots of insurance defense and insurance coverage attorneys around. When I need someone in an area I am not familiar with I use www.Martindale.com website, lawyer search. Filter for the city where the accident happened and insurance defense or coverage, maybe plaintiffs personal injury. Plaintiff lawyers like to get paid so they often know a lot about getting insurance to cover a loss.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: there was never a claim put into my mothers car insurance for any accident. #3 my car had no front end damage (I found a pic from a few months later & the front end is totally intact). #4 there is no accident report or police report for that day/time under my moms cars’ VIN #. Now if I rear-ended someone so badly that they’re still badly injured 3 years later, I’m SURE the police would have came, an accident report would have been taken, & my mothers car insurance would be involved. Moreover, if rear-ended someone THAT badly, my mothers Subaru would have had extensive front-end damage & would have had to be fixed at a body shop through her car insurance. My entire extended family (including my 13 year old daughter) do not remember me being involved in an accident or Moms Subaru having any front-end damage & they also do not recall that Subaru getting any body work done at any shop. I no longer have the car, it was totaled in an accident about 6 months later. (Which is unrelated but I want to add this fact to show that the Subaru hasnt had that car insurance for about 2 & 1/2 years now.) What are my & Moms' options? Should I hire a private investigator to do surveillance on the man suing us, to see if this man is as injured as he claims? Should my mother contact the car insurance she had on the Subaru at the time? I’m sure we need to contact a lawyer. But my biggest concern is, how can I prove in court that i didn't hit this dude???
RESPONSE A: He needs to prove in court that you hit him, though you have been served so a consultation with a lawyer is highly recommended
RESPONSE B: You should do nothing except try to figure out where you were that day using your phone's location services, calendar, and other resources. Your assumptions about car damage and the police being called aren't necessarily correct. A low-speed collision can cause soft tissue damage that isn't immediately apparent. Does the complaint state the location of the accident? Is that somewhere you go? Your mother should contact the insurance company she had at the time immediately. They should provide an attorney.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: -ended someone so badly that they’re still badly injured 3 years later, I’m SURE the police would have came, an accident report would have been taken, & my mothers car insurance would be involved. Moreover, if rear-ended someone THAT badly, my mothers Subaru would have had extensive front-end damage & would have had to be fixed at a body shop through her car insurance. My entire extended family (including my 13 year old daughter) do not remember me being involved in an accident or Moms Subaru having any front-end damage & they also do not recall that Subaru getting any body work done at any shop. I no longer have the car, it was totaled in an accident about 6 months later. (Which is unrelated but I want to add this fact to show that the Subaru hasnt had that car insurance for about 2 & 1/2 years now.) What are my & Moms' options? Should I hire a private investigator to do surveillance on the man suing us, to see if this man is as injured as he claims? Should my mother contact the car insurance she had on the Subaru at the time? I’m sure we need to contact a lawyer. But my biggest concern is, how can I prove in court that i didn't hit this dude???
RESPONSE A: I think that more importantly, what proof does he have showing that you rear-ended him? Were there proof attached to the court documents? Do you recall being in the neighborhood or road that he claims the accident occured? I'm sure there are street cameras that can prove that but 3yrs ago footages may not exist anymore. I don't see how this will hold up in court at all without proof. Get yourself a good lawyer and fight it.
RESPONSE B: You should do nothing except try to figure out where you were that day using your phone's location services, calendar, and other resources. Your assumptions about car damage and the police being called aren't necessarily correct. A low-speed collision can cause soft tissue damage that isn't immediately apparent. Does the complaint state the location of the accident? Is that somewhere you go? Your mother should contact the insurance company she had at the time immediately. They should provide an attorney.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: car accident at all whatsoever on the date alleged. #2 there was never a claim put into my mothers car insurance for any accident. #3 my car had no front end damage (I found a pic from a few months later & the front end is totally intact). #4 there is no accident report or police report for that day/time under my moms cars’ VIN #. Now if I rear-ended someone so badly that they’re still badly injured 3 years later, I’m SURE the police would have came, an accident report would have been taken, & my mothers car insurance would be involved. Moreover, if rear-ended someone THAT badly, my mothers Subaru would have had extensive front-end damage & would have had to be fixed at a body shop through her car insurance. My entire extended family (including my 13 year old daughter) do not remember me being involved in an accident or Moms Subaru having any front-end damage & they also do not recall that Subaru getting any body work done at any shop. I no longer have the car, it was totaled in an accident about 6 months later. (Which is unrelated but I want to add this fact to show that the Subaru hasnt had that car insurance for about 2 & 1/2 years now.) What are my & Moms' options? Should I hire a private investigator to do surveillance on the man suing us, to see if this man is as injured as he claims? Should my mother contact the car insurance she had on the Subaru at the time? I’m sure we need to contact a lawyer. But my biggest concern is, how can I prove in court that i didn't hit this dude???
RESPONSE A: The picture from a few months later can't be used as they can just say you got it repaired between the accident and when the picture was taken. The fact that there is no police report or any attempt at a claim within three years is the best evidence you have. File an answer to the claim that you dispute this to ensure there isn't a summary judgment prior to the court date.
RESPONSE B: See if you have any bank statements, debit card purchases, credit card purchases from that date and time that can put you in a different location.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: claim put into my mothers car insurance for any accident. #3 my car had no front end damage (I found a pic from a few months later & the front end is totally intact). #4 there is no accident report or police report for that day/time under my moms cars’ VIN #. Now if I rear-ended someone so badly that they’re still badly injured 3 years later, I’m SURE the police would have came, an accident report would have been taken, & my mothers car insurance would be involved. Moreover, if rear-ended someone THAT badly, my mothers Subaru would have had extensive front-end damage & would have had to be fixed at a body shop through her car insurance. My entire extended family (including my 13 year old daughter) do not remember me being involved in an accident or Moms Subaru having any front-end damage & they also do not recall that Subaru getting any body work done at any shop. I no longer have the car, it was totaled in an accident about 6 months later. (Which is unrelated but I want to add this fact to show that the Subaru hasnt had that car insurance for about 2 & 1/2 years now.) What are my & Moms' options? Should I hire a private investigator to do surveillance on the man suing us, to see if this man is as injured as he claims? Should my mother contact the car insurance she had on the Subaru at the time? I’m sure we need to contact a lawyer. But my biggest concern is, how can I prove in court that i didn't hit this dude???
RESPONSE A: I think that more importantly, what proof does he have showing that you rear-ended him? Were there proof attached to the court documents? Do you recall being in the neighborhood or road that he claims the accident occured? I'm sure there are street cameras that can prove that but 3yrs ago footages may not exist anymore. I don't see how this will hold up in court at all without proof. Get yourself a good lawyer and fight it.
RESPONSE B: See if you have any bank statements, debit card purchases, credit card purchases from that date and time that can put you in a different location.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: be involved. Moreover, if rear-ended someone THAT badly, my mothers Subaru would have had extensive front-end damage & would have had to be fixed at a body shop through her car insurance. My entire extended family (including my 13 year old daughter) do not remember me being involved in an accident or Moms Subaru having any front-end damage & they also do not recall that Subaru getting any body work done at any shop. I no longer have the car, it was totaled in an accident about 6 months later. (Which is unrelated but I want to add this fact to show that the Subaru hasnt had that car insurance for about 2 & 1/2 years now.) What are my & Moms' options? Should I hire a private investigator to do surveillance on the man suing us, to see if this man is as injured as he claims? Should my mother contact the car insurance she had on the Subaru at the time? I’m sure we need to contact a lawyer. But my biggest concern is, how can I prove in court that i didn't hit this dude???
RESPONSE A: The picture from a few months later can't be used as they can just say you got it repaired between the accident and when the picture was taken. The fact that there is no police report or any attempt at a claim within three years is the best evidence you have. File an answer to the claim that you dispute this to ensure there isn't a summary judgment prior to the court date.
RESPONSE B: 1) Call your insurance company and advise them of being served. Send them documents as well as anything you can find proving you were not involved. 2) The insurance company will assign the matter to an attorney, either in house or out depending on conflict check. The attorney will call you before filing an answer. MAKE SURE TO ADVISE THEM THAT YOU ARE CLAIMING NON-INVOLVEMENT as it should be pled as an affirmative defense in the answer. 3) Work with the attorney and insurance company. You will probably have to give a deposition. Some NY counties are plaintiff friendly and some are defense friendly. Depending on the county the insurance company might decide to fight or settle (even when claiming noninvolvement)
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: let him borrow my car, I know my husband would have never let him borrow it. It was never stolen, and he couldn't have had access to my keys and just taken it without asking. I doubt he even knew where I was living at the time this happened, because we had only just bought our house. My guess is that he was in an accident in a friend's car or a stolen car and just told the person that it was his sister's. The lawsuit says it was a blue Toyota Camry, which is what I drive. But there are a million blue Toyota Camries on the road, so that could be a coincidence. I already called my insurance and explained the situation to them. They said that one of their lawyers will get in touch with me, but not until Monday or Tuesday because of the holiday, so I've just been googling liability and negligent entrustment and making myself crazy. My understanding is that it's hard to prove that you didn't willingly loan out your car if it's a friend or family member who was driving it, but I can't really find much about my specific situation. I'm really starting to worry that I'm going to lose. Does it seem like I have a real chance of proving that it wasn't my car in the accident? Could it be possible that there's a police report proving that the car was registered to someone else and they filed the lawsuit before double checking, or is that something a lawyer would make sure of beforehand? Also, if this lady *didn't* call the police even though she thought my brother was driving around high, would that have any bearing on anything? Any help or advice would be much appreciated, I have no idea what to expect here and I can't stop imagining all the ways this could turn out terrible.
RESPONSE A: Also, is it an actual summons from a court with a filing date stamped on it or a letter from an attorney?
RESPONSE B: If there was no police report filed then its this drivers word vs your deceased brother. The insurance company will provide you a lawyer. Id suggest you dig through your records and make sure you can place the car in your possession on the date of the incident.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: before I report the incident? What should I do in general?
RESPONSE A: Legal advice: Do not contact the police about this. Do not contact your university about this. There are absolutely zero ways this goes good for you, and a few where it goes neutral and the cop looks at you like your nuts for trying to turn yourself in for something that *is not a crime.* You were both drunk. She initiated contact, you asked for consent, you didn't try to force her to stay when she left. You have done absolutely nothing wrong and this is one of the many situations that is not improved by the addition of police. Contacting a lawyer for a consultation might be a good idea because there is a chance she'll change her mind and call the police, but for now if you want to prepare for this coming up save a written copy of what happened. Basically what you wrote here. Personal advice: Dude you're gas lighting the shit out of yourself right now and making yourself feel guilty for something you did not even remotely do. I have no clue why this friend of yours reacted like this, that's on her. For now just don't contact her like she asked and move on from that friendship. Definitely don't tell people you assaulted her because *you did not*. It sounds like you've already rendered a guilty verdict for yourself. Honestly man, seek some therapy, and get some help clearing your head. Breathe and calm down and don't do anything drastic that will *legitimately ruin your life.* A sex crime investigation will haunt you like a wraith forever, even if you are declared innocent.
RESPONSE B: If she's not reporting it, don't report it yourself. Bringing it into the college's policy/legal system is likely to result in them talking to her about, and it certainly doesn't sound as if she wants to discuss the experience with strangers, possibly on several occasions. Talk to a counselor on campus about it, both about your own feelings and what would be practical to do going forward. But don't involve the authorities or punishment system if she doesn't want to do that herself. It won't help her or you feel any better.
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A | POST: to know if she was mentally incapable to consent given the circurmstances. I feel that the right thing to do is to report myself to my college to at least open am investigation. If I comitted assault I don't want to run away from it. What should I be prepared to face, and what should I do before I report the incident? What should I do in general?
RESPONSE A: Legal advice: Do not contact the police about this. Do not contact your university about this. There are absolutely zero ways this goes good for you, and a few where it goes neutral and the cop looks at you like your nuts for trying to turn yourself in for something that *is not a crime.* You were both drunk. She initiated contact, you asked for consent, you didn't try to force her to stay when she left. You have done absolutely nothing wrong and this is one of the many situations that is not improved by the addition of police. Contacting a lawyer for a consultation might be a good idea because there is a chance she'll change her mind and call the police, but for now if you want to prepare for this coming up save a written copy of what happened. Basically what you wrote here. Personal advice: Dude you're gas lighting the shit out of yourself right now and making yourself feel guilty for something you did not even remotely do. I have no clue why this friend of yours reacted like this, that's on her. For now just don't contact her like she asked and move on from that friendship. Definitely don't tell people you assaulted her because *you did not*. It sounds like you've already rendered a guilty verdict for yourself. Honestly man, seek some therapy, and get some help clearing your head. Breathe and calm down and don't do anything drastic that will *legitimately ruin your life.* A sex crime investigation will haunt you like a wraith forever, even if you are declared innocent.
RESPONSE B: The right thing to do is honor her wish and do not contact her. Beyond that, what you describe is not assault. DO NOT REPORT YOURSELF. BASED ON YOUR NARRATIVE YOU COMMITTED NO CRIME.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: [FL] Being sued for car accident 2 years ago after receiving a demand letter This is in Florida. 1 month ago I got a demand letter. I notified my insurance. They said they would call me back. Still haven't heard from them. I wrote an email to the lawyer in the letter stating that I deny any responsibilities regarding the accident since it was not my fault and that was stated in the police report. Yesterday (Mar 9) I got a summon to a civil court by an officer. What should I do now? Should I call my insurance or contact a lawyer of my own? Will my insurance provide me a lawyer needed? It's obvious I was not at fault in the accident, if I won the case, will all the fees be covered by the one who sue me?
RESPONSE A: Police don't determine fault in an accident as it's a civil case, not criminal. As others said, notify the insurance company you had at the time. They will provide an attorney to represent you
RESPONSE B: Contact your insurance ASAP. If you don’t get help from them before your summons date, make sure you appear in court with your police report stating you weren’t at fault. Do not blow off the summons.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: [FL] Being sued for car accident 2 years ago after receiving a demand letter This is in Florida. 1 month ago I got a demand letter. I notified my insurance. They said they would call me back. Still haven't heard from them. I wrote an email to the lawyer in the letter stating that I deny any responsibilities regarding the accident since it was not my fault and that was stated in the police report. Yesterday (Mar 9) I got a summon to a civil court by an officer. What should I do now? Should I call my insurance or contact a lawyer of my own? Will my insurance provide me a lawyer needed? It's obvious I was not at fault in the accident, if I won the case, will all the fees be covered by the one who sue me?
RESPONSE A: Definitely call your insurance company. They should be able to provide a lawyer. Also you should never talk to the other side without a lawyer. Ever. Even if it seems helpful it's not. They can use even the smallest thing you said to them against you.
RESPONSE B: Police don't determine fault in an accident as it's a civil case, not criminal. As others said, notify the insurance company you had at the time. They will provide an attorney to represent you
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: (NY) Being sued three years after a car accident happened. I am destitute, what will happen? I rear ended a car in 2017, their car was relatively fine, but mine was totaled. My insurance covered everything and their medical as far as I know. Three years later, after a series of bad luck (wife was laid off recently, medical emergencies not covered by insurance) I receive a notice that I am being sued for injuries caused by the accident. They filed just days before the three year anniversary, but I did not receive the summons until two months after they filed. This is completely new to me, I have no assets, and I have no idea what to do.
RESPONSE A: Take a deep breath and let the insurance know right away. Probably they did not wanted to accept the insurance settlement and that's why they're trying to sue you directly. Which won't work anyway because like you said, you have no assets. It would be like squeezing blood from a rock. Went through this same exact thing back in 2011 and thankfully, insurance took care of it all....
RESPONSE B: Notify the automobile insurance carrier you had when the accident happened.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: I threw away my coworker's rotten food that was stored in the shared fridge, but now I'm being accused of theft and destruction of property. This the weirdest timeline. We have a shared fridge at work. Some people can't seem to leave it clean, so the other day I decided to clean it and throw away what was rotting in it. There were containers with moldy and disgusting food that have been there for weeks, yogurt that expired months ago and other disgusting old stuff all belonging to the same person. I asked them several times to throw it away but they didn't. In the end I threw it all away because of the risk of food poisoning for everyone. Now my coworker is upset I did this because they say some of it might still have been good (it wasn't). They're accusing me of theft and want to report me to the police and HR for stealing and destroying their property. Could destroying this inedible food really be considered theft and/or destruction of property? I know this sounds really dumb but I'd like to be sure.
RESPONSE A: In the future, bring something like this up to management. It’s not worth losing your job over something so stupid and it gives you a witness to what you were describing.
RESPONSE B: >They're accusing me of theft and want to report me to the police and HR for stealing and destroying their property. The police are almost certainly going to give exactly zero shits about a workplace refrigerator dispute. That aspect just isn't worth worrying about. HR can treat this nearly any way they want. They can do nothing, they can fire both of you, or they can do almost anything in between. But if you tell them that you only threw away spoiled food, most reasonable HR folks aren't going to give you any grief.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: I threw away my coworker's rotten food that was stored in the shared fridge, but now I'm being accused of theft and destruction of property. This the weirdest timeline. We have a shared fridge at work. Some people can't seem to leave it clean, so the other day I decided to clean it and throw away what was rotting in it. There were containers with moldy and disgusting food that have been there for weeks, yogurt that expired months ago and other disgusting old stuff all belonging to the same person. I asked them several times to throw it away but they didn't. In the end I threw it all away because of the risk of food poisoning for everyone. Now my coworker is upset I did this because they say some of it might still have been good (it wasn't). They're accusing me of theft and want to report me to the police and HR for stealing and destroying their property. Could destroying this inedible food really be considered theft and/or destruction of property? I know this sounds really dumb but I'd like to be sure.
RESPONSE A: >They're accusing me of theft and want to report me to the police and HR for stealing and destroying their property. The police are almost certainly going to give exactly zero shits about a workplace refrigerator dispute. That aspect just isn't worth worrying about. HR can treat this nearly any way they want. They can do nothing, they can fire both of you, or they can do almost anything in between. But if you tell them that you only threw away spoiled food, most reasonable HR folks aren't going to give you any grief.
RESPONSE B: For the future you should ask your company to put up a sign that says every Friday at 5pm the refrigerator will be cleaned out and anything left inside will be thrown in the trash. My old job had that and it seemed to work well.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: I threw away my coworker's rotten food that was stored in the shared fridge, but now I'm being accused of theft and destruction of property. This the weirdest timeline. We have a shared fridge at work. Some people can't seem to leave it clean, so the other day I decided to clean it and throw away what was rotting in it. There were containers with moldy and disgusting food that have been there for weeks, yogurt that expired months ago and other disgusting old stuff all belonging to the same person. I asked them several times to throw it away but they didn't. In the end I threw it all away because of the risk of food poisoning for everyone. Now my coworker is upset I did this because they say some of it might still have been good (it wasn't). They're accusing me of theft and want to report me to the police and HR for stealing and destroying their property. Could destroying this inedible food really be considered theft and/or destruction of property? I know this sounds really dumb but I'd like to be sure.
RESPONSE A: The value of this in small claims court is less than the filing fee in most states. Highly unlikely and the judge would laugh. ​ The police would be highly unlikely to take this seriously and would likely laugh. ​ Your HR may take it seriously, in which case I would dust off the ole' resume. But based on the fridge, this doesn't sound like a well run business. ​ TL;DR: Your exposure on this is really low.
RESPONSE B: >They're accusing me of theft and want to report me to the police and HR for stealing and destroying their property. The police are almost certainly going to give exactly zero shits about a workplace refrigerator dispute. That aspect just isn't worth worrying about. HR can treat this nearly any way they want. They can do nothing, they can fire both of you, or they can do almost anything in between. But if you tell them that you only threw away spoiled food, most reasonable HR folks aren't going to give you any grief.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: and destruction of property. This the weirdest timeline. We have a shared fridge at work. Some people can't seem to leave it clean, so the other day I decided to clean it and throw away what was rotting in it. There were containers with moldy and disgusting food that have been there for weeks, yogurt that expired months ago and other disgusting old stuff all belonging to the same person. I asked them several times to throw it away but they didn't. In the end I threw it all away because of the risk of food poisoning for everyone. Now my coworker is upset I did this because they say some of it might still have been good (it wasn't). They're accusing me of theft and want to report me to the police and HR for stealing and destroying their property. Could destroying this inedible food really be considered theft and/or destruction of property? I know this sounds really dumb but I'd like to be sure.
RESPONSE A: Legally, you don't have much to worry about, as no judge is going to entertain "he threw away my rotting mouldy food from thr fridge so that's theft/destruction of property" unless it was some super expensive aged A5 wagyu or something. However. your potentially bigger issue is with your employer. Typically employers will designate someone (usually office manager or cleaner) to periodically clean fridge. They cover themselves by having policies in place and sending out email reminders that rotten or expired food will be thrown out. You may have broken company policy by taking matters into your own hands, and HR might get involved depending on how by the book your office is.
RESPONSE B: >They're accusing me of theft and want to report me to the police and HR for stealing and destroying their property. The police are almost certainly going to give exactly zero shits about a workplace refrigerator dispute. That aspect just isn't worth worrying about. HR can treat this nearly any way they want. They can do nothing, they can fire both of you, or they can do almost anything in between. But if you tell them that you only threw away spoiled food, most reasonable HR folks aren't going to give you any grief.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: frequently IP blocked and unblocked from Craigslist.org every few weeks (probably in March, when happened). I didn't know why, and I have never IP blocked from Craigslist been since I reset my server. He told me to look at consumer.gov and consumerfinance.gov and he told me to look at my credit report, my past transactions and anything on eBay that may look suspicious. There are no suspicious transactions and my credit is in good standing. He wants to come over to talk and look at my server and my past eBay transactions and stuff on Monday. I told him it's okay, but I'm not sure if I'll regret that or not. There's nothing I have to hide, but I am a little concerned about my server. Is this okay for him to look at this information? Also, one last thing I'm concerned about is that I have, in the past, pirated music. He wouldn't care about that, would he? What's the best course of action?
RESPONSE A: Make sure it's not a scam before doing anything else. Your name and address are public, you have no idea that any of the case information is true. Is the social media page with the info on your server public? If not, how did he gain access to it? Did he say which field office he works for? Call that field office directly from the phone number on their website, not the number he gave you, explain the situation, and ask for more info and to speak to the agent. You could also offer to meet him at his office (which should be in a federal building) or at the local police station and bring with you any server logs and eBay records. Even if it's not a scam, it seems strange to allow the fbi direct access to your computer without a good idea of exactly what they plan to do and how they plan to do it. Is there something he can do to learn more about the hack that you couldn't? Are you really comfortable letting some random person who cold-called you mess around on your home server?
RESPONSE B: > I trust he is an FBI agent because he had my name, address, Almost like somebody in the ID theft business would...
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: such purchase. He also provided a phone number that I don't recognize and asked if it was me, and that they were sending text messages with the seller. I also confirmed that was not me. He said he saw on my social media page that I said have a server and that it was hacked. He asked if I still had any IP addresses or logs, but I told him no, there were no logs, and I wiped the server clean. I only started to notice that my server was compromised when one day I went to look at a log and saw that it, along with all of the other logs were gone, including SSH logins and IP addresses. I wiped it and reinstalled it because I felt like it was the only way I could be sure that my server was no longer compromised. The only suspicious thing I noticed about that was was I was frequently IP blocked and unblocked from Craigslist.org every few weeks (probably in March, when happened). I didn't know why, and I have never IP blocked from Craigslist been since I reset my server. He told me to look at consumer.gov and consumerfinance.gov and he told me to look at my credit report, my past transactions and anything on eBay that may look suspicious. There are no suspicious transactions and my credit is in good standing. He wants to come over to talk and look at my server and my past eBay transactions and stuff on Monday. I told him it's okay, but I'm not sure if I'll regret that or not. There's nothing I have to hide, but I am a little concerned about my server. Is this okay for him to look at this information? Also, one last thing I'm concerned about is that I have, in the past, pirated music. He wouldn't care about that, would he? What's the best course of action?
RESPONSE A: > I trust he is an FBI agent because he had my name, address, Almost like somebody in the ID theft business would...
RESPONSE B: Don't meet him at your house the first time, meet him at his office. Let him show you the evidence first. I can't see any reason he would need to access your stuff.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: moment but if there are some things I should be aware of please let me know and feel free to mention it. I've never been sued and am not too familiar with the process of it.
RESPONSE A: As already pointed out, the show is not a real judge and not a real court. But that doesn't mean that your brother hasn't actually sued you in a real small claims court and you just haven't been served yet. You should be able to look at the paperwork the show sent to determine if it's been filed in your local small claims court. If so, you'll likely be served eventually. If a judge deems service sufficient (even if you aren't personally served) and you don't show up, yes you will lose by default and there will be a judgment against you. You don't want that. It could screw up your credit, it will be a hassle to argue you weren't served and get it overturned, lots of issues. Yes (in all jurisdictions i know of), once you get served, you have a certain number of days to file an answer, which can include a countersuit. Generally small claims courts have a limit as to how much you can recover, so if you sue for too much you wouldn't be able to counter-sue as part of the same case and the case would move to a regular (not small claims) court. If there are other defendants, you each could be held liable for the full amount or it could be apportioned to each as a percentage or if you have no involvement you could be dismissed or not be held accountable at all.
RESPONSE B: > If I don't get served does that mean I am not responsible for any of this? Maybe. You can always argue improper service as a defense against a judgment. The chances of you succeeding there are difficult to estimate. As you've surmised, it's possible for you to lose the suit without ever being **personally** served - there are acceptable methods of alternative service. You should immediately start trying to find this suit - ignoring it **does not** help you at all. You need to mount a defense.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: Like if it's something I had no involvement in then the case against me would be dismissed right? I think that's about all the questions and concerns I have at the moment but if there are some things I should be aware of please let me know and feel free to mention it. I've never been sued and am not too familiar with the process of it.
RESPONSE A: As already pointed out, the show is not a real judge and not a real court. But that doesn't mean that your brother hasn't actually sued you in a real small claims court and you just haven't been served yet. You should be able to look at the paperwork the show sent to determine if it's been filed in your local small claims court. If so, you'll likely be served eventually. If a judge deems service sufficient (even if you aren't personally served) and you don't show up, yes you will lose by default and there will be a judgment against you. You don't want that. It could screw up your credit, it will be a hassle to argue you weren't served and get it overturned, lots of issues. Yes (in all jurisdictions i know of), once you get served, you have a certain number of days to file an answer, which can include a countersuit. Generally small claims courts have a limit as to how much you can recover, so if you sue for too much you wouldn't be able to counter-sue as part of the same case and the case would move to a regular (not small claims) court. If there are other defendants, you each could be held liable for the full amount or it could be apportioned to each as a percentage or if you have no involvement you could be dismissed or not be held accountable at all.
RESPONSE B: Judge Mathis isn't a real judge and the show isn't a real court. Someone probably submitted their 'case' against you to the show for some sweet real life karma and money. So if you don't want to go on the show, ignore the mailing. If you do, you'll get paid.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: I am selected to go on their show that I'll be paid an appearance fee, have travel expenses paid for, and if I lose the case they will pay it off for me. This sounds good but because of my profession I don't think going on a nationally televised court show would be very beneficial. If I don't get served does that mean I am not responsible for any of this? What if I never get anything letting me know I am being sued and don't know when the court date is, will I lose by default and be held liable to pay the amount I am being sued for? If/When I do receive notice of being sued will I be able to file a counter-suit? Or is that something I have to do separately? If there other defendants involved do we each get held accountable separately? Like if it's something I had no involvement in then the case against me would be dismissed right? I think that's about all the questions and concerns I have at the moment but if there are some things I should be aware of please let me know and feel free to mention it. I've never been sued and am not too familiar with the process of it.
RESPONSE A: You can call the courthouse and have them look up the file. Does the paperwork have a case number? If not, just call and give them the names listed. Odds are that someone from the show is browsing newly filled cases. I would think you will be served within the next week. Unless they can't find you. Which isn't a good thing.
RESPONSE B: > If I don't get served does that mean I am not responsible for any of this? Maybe. You can always argue improper service as a defense against a judgment. The chances of you succeeding there are difficult to estimate. As you've surmised, it's possible for you to lose the suit without ever being **personally** served - there are acceptable methods of alternative service. You should immediately start trying to find this suit - ignoring it **does not** help you at all. You need to mount a defense.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: I hit an unleashed and got sued in a small claim court. What are my options? This happened back in late October. The owner had an unleashed dog that ran into my car. I was driving at 20mph. The incident was recorded on dashcam as well. The owner was basically blaming me and cussing me out when I stopped and got out of the car to check up on her dog. Luckily, the dog ended up with a broken leg and not in a life-threatened situation. They then requested me to pay for their medical bills which costs 6k. I told them that I'm not liable for their expenses since their dog technically ran into my car. They pushed it further and threatened to bring this to court. I have been reading other posts with similar situation. It seems that others agreed the owner is at fault here. However, I received a letter that they are suing me in a small claim court claiming that I'm responsible for their medical expenses. This is my first time getting sued. Reddit, please ease my mind. Am I legally responsible for this person dog's bills? ​ **TLDR:** Unleashed dog ran into my and and the owner is bring me to court. My hearing is next month. I got a video of the unleashed dog running into my car.
RESPONSE A: Do you have liability insurance? Make a claim and let them deal with it.
RESPONSE B: You car insurance may be your best option.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: I hit an unleashed and got sued in a small claim court. What are my options? This happened back in late October. The owner had an unleashed dog that ran into my car. I was driving at 20mph. The incident was recorded on dashcam as well. The owner was basically blaming me and cussing me out when I stopped and got out of the car to check up on her dog. Luckily, the dog ended up with a broken leg and not in a life-threatened situation. They then requested me to pay for their medical bills which costs 6k. I told them that I'm not liable for their expenses since their dog technically ran into my car. They pushed it further and threatened to bring this to court. I have been reading other posts with similar situation. It seems that others agreed the owner is at fault here. However, I received a letter that they are suing me in a small claim court claiming that I'm responsible for their medical expenses. This is my first time getting sued. Reddit, please ease my mind. Am I legally responsible for this person dog's bills? ​ **TLDR:** Unleashed dog ran into my and and the owner is bring me to court. My hearing is next month. I got a video of the unleashed dog running into my car.
RESPONSE A: Not only are you not liable for any damages to them, but they are actually liable for any damages to you or your car (where there any?) It's just a matter of whether you want your insurance to handle it or to handle it yourself.
RESPONSE B: Do you have liability insurance? Make a claim and let them deal with it.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: I hit an unleashed and got sued in a small claim court. What are my options? This happened back in late October. The owner had an unleashed dog that ran into my car. I was driving at 20mph. The incident was recorded on dashcam as well. The owner was basically blaming me and cussing me out when I stopped and got out of the car to check up on her dog. Luckily, the dog ended up with a broken leg and not in a life-threatened situation. They then requested me to pay for their medical bills which costs 6k. I told them that I'm not liable for their expenses since their dog technically ran into my car. They pushed it further and threatened to bring this to court. I have been reading other posts with similar situation. It seems that others agreed the owner is at fault here. However, I received a letter that they are suing me in a small claim court claiming that I'm responsible for their medical expenses. This is my first time getting sued. Reddit, please ease my mind. Am I legally responsible for this person dog's bills? ​ **TLDR:** Unleashed dog ran into my and and the owner is bring me to court. My hearing is next month. I got a video of the unleashed dog running into my car.
RESPONSE A: If the owner was negligent in protecting their property from injury its on them. Dog outside without a leash is willful negligence
RESPONSE B: Not only are you not liable for any damages to them, but they are actually liable for any damages to you or your car (where there any?) It's just a matter of whether you want your insurance to handle it or to handle it yourself.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: I hit an unleashed and got sued in a small claim court. What are my options? This happened back in late October. The owner had an unleashed dog that ran into my car. I was driving at 20mph. The incident was recorded on dashcam as well. The owner was basically blaming me and cussing me out when I stopped and got out of the car to check up on her dog. Luckily, the dog ended up with a broken leg and not in a life-threatened situation. They then requested me to pay for their medical bills which costs 6k. I told them that I'm not liable for their expenses since their dog technically ran into my car. They pushed it further and threatened to bring this to court. I have been reading other posts with similar situation. It seems that others agreed the owner is at fault here. However, I received a letter that they are suing me in a small claim court claiming that I'm responsible for their medical expenses. This is my first time getting sued. Reddit, please ease my mind. Am I legally responsible for this person dog's bills? ​ **TLDR:** Unleashed dog ran into my and and the owner is bring me to court. My hearing is next month. I got a video of the unleashed dog running into my car.
RESPONSE A: Not only are you not liable for any damages to them, but they are actually liable for any damages to you or your car (where there any?) It's just a matter of whether you want your insurance to handle it or to handle it yourself.
RESPONSE B: We're there damages to your car from the dog? I'd look into countersuing for them
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: I was laid off after spouse reported sexual harassment by supervisor (Hawaii) Spouse and I work for the same company, and have similar positions, and have for many years. It is a very specialized industry, only a handful of employers in the state where we can use our skills. It is a highly paid position that requires very specific training. Spouse recently reported our immediate supervisor for sexual harassment based on some inappropriate behavior that occurred at work over several months. A few weeks after the sexual harassment was reported, I was laid off due for economic reasons. However I have more seniority and more experience than other employees that were not laid off, and I have always had stellar employee reviews and no write ups for anything. The supervisor was interviewed about the incidents by HR, but no other disciplinary action has happened that we know about. There have not been additional harassment incidents since this. We believe I was let go in retaliation for the harassment report, because they know that for me to get a comparable job in the same industry, we would likely need to relocate, so my spouse would quit and move with me. Is this illegal, and how would we prove that it was done as retaliation?
RESPONSE A: "However I have more seniority and more experience than other employees that were not laid off" ​ I don't agree with what the employer did. But, if you were paid more than other employees and **the company actually had budget issues**, then there is some justification for letting you go. From the company's perspective they could let go of one employee (you) or multiple other employees. My point, is that its better to prove retaliation by looking at the proximity of your termination with the complaint.
RESPONSE B: Contact the Hawaii Civil Right Commission: http://labor.hawaii.gov/hcrc/ Phone numbers can be found here: http://labor.hawaii.gov/hcrc/contact/
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: ers, who I'm still in contact with, say their jobs are being threatened by him as well. He has already gotten into trouble for this type of stuff before. He was moved to our store because he was turned in for sexual harrassment at his old store. It's bullshit, he's rewarded while we are punished. I worked hard at my job y'all. I needed my job. I'm now at home crying in bed because I don't know what to do now for my kids. I was always taught to stand up for whats right and to not be scared, but Now Im wondering if I should of just let him do it. I'm a sexual assault survivor and this whole situation has had me fucked up all day. It's not right, there's no way this is legal is it? What can I do to make sure this company/Manager can NEVER do this to another female employee ever again. I never want another woman to experience the trauma I did with this company. ***I also have picture proof of the actual report I filled out along with texts he has sent**
RESPONSE A: Assuming this is in the United States, it sounds like a federal EEOC / state human rights case to me. Reporting workplace sexual harassment is a protected activity and retaliation is illegal. EEOC cases begin with a complaint filed online (preferably), then a phone interview.
RESPONSE B: Given your username, I am presuming you are in California. First off, what you describe him as doing is illegal under federal law and retaliation for filing a complaint under federal law. You can report the manager and company to the EEOC for the original actions as well as for the retaliation. California law extends the federal protections quite well, and you can instead report the original action to the DFEH \- you only need to file with either the EEOC or DFEH as any report will be automatically cross filed by the government. You can also report the retaliation to the DLSE. California is generally pretty good about employee protections, including for whistleblowers, which you counted as once you filed the claim.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: /manager is already a jerk, but I get by and just do what I’m told. I’m actually pretty secretive about my medication, but due to the job our bags and pockets are checked at the end of the night before leaving. He has seen my prescription bottles (there are two medications I can take, one on a timed schedule, and the other when I need something to really calm me down) and since then has constantly asked me about it. In front of my other coworkers. Me not wanting to talk about it has seemed to light a fire under him to find out. Tonight it escalated to the point of him yelling at me in front of my coworkers and telling me not to take my medication in front of them. Well if they didn’t know I took medicine, now they do. So much for HIPPA.... I don’t feel like explaining this to anyone, or why I take anxiety medicine. Is he allowed to do this? Is there any retaliation I can do calmly to get him to back off? Please help. It would be very appreciated.
RESPONSE A: This might not address your issue in the way you expect, but in many jobs where safety is at issue, you may have signed something upon your hiring that says you'll disclose if you're on any medications that may effect your ability to do your job. For example, if you're on benzodiazepines, that might be one category if medications that's included. You want to go over your hiring paperwork carefully so that when you move forward \(whatever your next steps are with your boss\), you are on solid footing.
RESPONSE B: I just want to start off by saying that you don’t have to talk about that to your therapist and still get useful therapy - one thing therapists do is give you advice and coping skills on how to manage your symptoms. They don’t exist to dig into your past, especially when the cause of the trauma is so clear. According to this EEOC source, it looks like the privacy sections of the ADA covers all employees, not just employees with accommodations. Your next step should be to go to HR, or if there is no HR, the next supervisor up.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: and pockets are checked at the end of the night before leaving. He has seen my prescription bottles (there are two medications I can take, one on a timed schedule, and the other when I need something to really calm me down) and since then has constantly asked me about it. In front of my other coworkers. Me not wanting to talk about it has seemed to light a fire under him to find out. Tonight it escalated to the point of him yelling at me in front of my coworkers and telling me not to take my medication in front of them. Well if they didn’t know I took medicine, now they do. So much for HIPPA.... I don’t feel like explaining this to anyone, or why I take anxiety medicine. Is he allowed to do this? Is there any retaliation I can do calmly to get him to back off? Please help. It would be very appreciated.
RESPONSE A: HIPAA applies specifically to medical professionals. Your boss at the warehouse is not bound by the HIPAA. Your boss has a responsibility to make sure you aren't taking mind-altering drugs if you are going to operate or be around heavy machinery, like fork lifts common in a warehouse. He has a responsibility to all the employees he manages to keep them safe. He can ask. You aren't required to tell him. He can also fire you for not telling him. Your best solution would be to sit down privately with your boss and explain that you feel uncomfortable discussing the reasons for taking the medication, but show that the medication doesn't impact your ability to do your job, and doesn't have dangerous side effects.
RESPONSE B: I just want to start off by saying that you don’t have to talk about that to your therapist and still get useful therapy - one thing therapists do is give you advice and coping skills on how to manage your symptoms. They don’t exist to dig into your past, especially when the cause of the trauma is so clear. According to this EEOC source, it looks like the privacy sections of the ADA covers all employees, not just employees with accommodations. Your next step should be to go to HR, or if there is no HR, the next supervisor up.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: didn’t sign the lease when I moved in (I know, foolish), so I found another place and I’m moving in December 12th. I have proof of every single discussion we’ve had, since we only talk through texting, due to him working night shifts so I barely see him. What makes my blood boil is that this poor cat is suffering, yet my roommate doesn’t want to do anything about it. He’s never taken the cat to the vet, he’s never even held the cat and he never pets it, since it’s always in the storage room. Tonight, I was on my way to leave the apartment, when the cat jumped out of nowhere and started attacking me. Since I’m getting used to his attacks, I always wear jeans, thick slippers and my winter coat when I’m outside my bedroom, as protection. But the cat bit my hand and wouldn’t let go. I tried to shake it off but it just kept digging his teeth in. Eventually it let go and i ran to the neighbors, screaming that I needed help. I was covered in blood and having a panic attack, so they took me to the hospital. I had to get stitches, antibiotics and I’m on sick leave until December 1rst. The cat bit so deep my muscle was exposed but luckily intact. I still can’t move my thumb or wrist because of the swelling. I have proof of all of this (pictures, screenshots). Can I sue my roommate? For what motives? Can I do something about the cat? Can I call someone to remove it from here and give it an proper shot at life?
RESPONSE A: Canadian. Animal care graduate. Essential oils is toxic to cats. It damages their lungs and can cause a multitude of problems heart, blood, and brain. This cat sounds feral, needs an assessment to properly diagnosis what is up. You can report this as an animal attack for sure but in regards to a sue best to check with your police station as laws differ in each province. Report it to spca or animal humane society in Quebec. Your ex roommate is enabling not helping the poor animal.
RESPONSE B: Essential oil diffusers can be toxic to cats. Maybe the poor thing is in pain too.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: this poor cat is suffering, yet my roommate doesn’t want to do anything about it. He’s never taken the cat to the vet, he’s never even held the cat and he never pets it, since it’s always in the storage room. Tonight, I was on my way to leave the apartment, when the cat jumped out of nowhere and started attacking me. Since I’m getting used to his attacks, I always wear jeans, thick slippers and my winter coat when I’m outside my bedroom, as protection. But the cat bit my hand and wouldn’t let go. I tried to shake it off but it just kept digging his teeth in. Eventually it let go and i ran to the neighbors, screaming that I needed help. I was covered in blood and having a panic attack, so they took me to the hospital. I had to get stitches, antibiotics and I’m on sick leave until December 1rst. The cat bit so deep my muscle was exposed but luckily intact. I still can’t move my thumb or wrist because of the swelling. I have proof of all of this (pictures, screenshots). Can I sue my roommate? For what motives? Can I do something about the cat? Can I call someone to remove it from here and give it an proper shot at life?
RESPONSE A: Canadian. Animal care graduate. Essential oils is toxic to cats. It damages their lungs and can cause a multitude of problems heart, blood, and brain. This cat sounds feral, needs an assessment to properly diagnosis what is up. You can report this as an animal attack for sure but in regards to a sue best to check with your police station as laws differ in each province. Report it to spca or animal humane society in Quebec. Your ex roommate is enabling not helping the poor animal.
RESPONSE B: Tbh it sounds like this cat is fatal or has a severe case of anxiety and ptsd and something keeps triggering it. Yes you can sue for you medical bills and also report this to animal control. If he’s never been to the vet there is a chance they will want to quarantine the cat for rabies and they may ask you to get the shots to be on the safe side.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: thick slippers and my winter coat when I’m outside my bedroom, as protection. But the cat bit my hand and wouldn’t let go. I tried to shake it off but it just kept digging his teeth in. Eventually it let go and i ran to the neighbors, screaming that I needed help. I was covered in blood and having a panic attack, so they took me to the hospital. I had to get stitches, antibiotics and I’m on sick leave until December 1rst. The cat bit so deep my muscle was exposed but luckily intact. I still can’t move my thumb or wrist because of the swelling. I have proof of all of this (pictures, screenshots). Can I sue my roommate? For what motives? Can I do something about the cat? Can I call someone to remove it from here and give it an proper shot at life?
RESPONSE A: B-3.1 Loi sur le bien être et la sécurité de l'animal. (animal protection law Québec). It could be difficult to prove negligence. But if you can, then the SPA Québec can come and take the cat. You can contact them (below) for guidance. It would put it up for adoption, and will likely get put down due to behaviour. Alternatively, if it did get away, it wouldn't survive the winter in Canada. Unfortunately, its best bet would be to stay with the allegedly neglectful owner. For the damages, I would argue that the owner is liable. http://legisquebec.gouv.qc.ca/fr/ShowDoc/cs/B-3.1 https://spadequebec.ca/denoncer-2/
RESPONSE B: Canadian. Animal care graduate. Essential oils is toxic to cats. It damages their lungs and can cause a multitude of problems heart, blood, and brain. This cat sounds feral, needs an assessment to properly diagnosis what is up. You can report this as an animal attack for sure but in regards to a sue best to check with your police station as laws differ in each province. Report it to spca or animal humane society in Quebec. Your ex roommate is enabling not helping the poor animal.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: roommate doesn’t want to do anything about it. He’s never taken the cat to the vet, he’s never even held the cat and he never pets it, since it’s always in the storage room. Tonight, I was on my way to leave the apartment, when the cat jumped out of nowhere and started attacking me. Since I’m getting used to his attacks, I always wear jeans, thick slippers and my winter coat when I’m outside my bedroom, as protection. But the cat bit my hand and wouldn’t let go. I tried to shake it off but it just kept digging his teeth in. Eventually it let go and i ran to the neighbors, screaming that I needed help. I was covered in blood and having a panic attack, so they took me to the hospital. I had to get stitches, antibiotics and I’m on sick leave until December 1rst. The cat bit so deep my muscle was exposed but luckily intact. I still can’t move my thumb or wrist because of the swelling. I have proof of all of this (pictures, screenshots). Can I sue my roommate? For what motives? Can I do something about the cat? Can I call someone to remove it from here and give it an proper shot at life?
RESPONSE A: B-3.1 Loi sur le bien être et la sécurité de l'animal. (animal protection law Québec). It could be difficult to prove negligence. But if you can, then the SPA Québec can come and take the cat. You can contact them (below) for guidance. It would put it up for adoption, and will likely get put down due to behaviour. Alternatively, if it did get away, it wouldn't survive the winter in Canada. Unfortunately, its best bet would be to stay with the allegedly neglectful owner. For the damages, I would argue that the owner is liable. http://legisquebec.gouv.qc.ca/fr/ShowDoc/cs/B-3.1 https://spadequebec.ca/denoncer-2/
RESPONSE B: Essential oil diffusers can be toxic to cats. Maybe the poor thing is in pain too.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: attacking me. Since I’m getting used to his attacks, I always wear jeans, thick slippers and my winter coat when I’m outside my bedroom, as protection. But the cat bit my hand and wouldn’t let go. I tried to shake it off but it just kept digging his teeth in. Eventually it let go and i ran to the neighbors, screaming that I needed help. I was covered in blood and having a panic attack, so they took me to the hospital. I had to get stitches, antibiotics and I’m on sick leave until December 1rst. The cat bit so deep my muscle was exposed but luckily intact. I still can’t move my thumb or wrist because of the swelling. I have proof of all of this (pictures, screenshots). Can I sue my roommate? For what motives? Can I do something about the cat? Can I call someone to remove it from here and give it an proper shot at life?
RESPONSE A: B-3.1 Loi sur le bien être et la sécurité de l'animal. (animal protection law Québec). It could be difficult to prove negligence. But if you can, then the SPA Québec can come and take the cat. You can contact them (below) for guidance. It would put it up for adoption, and will likely get put down due to behaviour. Alternatively, if it did get away, it wouldn't survive the winter in Canada. Unfortunately, its best bet would be to stay with the allegedly neglectful owner. For the damages, I would argue that the owner is liable. http://legisquebec.gouv.qc.ca/fr/ShowDoc/cs/B-3.1 https://spadequebec.ca/denoncer-2/
RESPONSE B: Tbh it sounds like this cat is fatal or has a severe case of anxiety and ptsd and something keeps triggering it. Yes you can sue for you medical bills and also report this to animal control. If he’s never been to the vet there is a chance they will want to quarantine the cat for rabies and they may ask you to get the shots to be on the safe side.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: an adult" when i tried to beg her to lower my rent and have mercy on me. Is this legal? If so is there anything i can do on social securities end? I can't live this way. I have called and they informed me they put in a request for me but nothing ever happened from then on. I live off food stamps as well, thats the only thing i can say keeps me afloat, but i go hungry 7-10 days waiting for my next amount. If i had adequate social security benefits i wouldn't starve or live in fear. Any advice or help is appreciated.
RESPONSE A: Not a lawyer and not in Texas, but I work at an agency that serves adults with disabilities. OP, this is considered financial abuse. What your mom is doing is not allowed. Anyone that you interact with as disability support for you is a mandated reporter. So if you have a case manager, any in-home therapies, a day program, a doctor you trust, etc. you can talk to any of those people. Tell them that your mother is financially abusing you and gives you only $7 a month, that you don’t have enough to eat as a result, and that you need help. They can help you get a case started with Adult Protective Services, and this is what APS is for.
RESPONSE B: Are you sure she does not have guardianship? The benefits you listed are uncommon for a 19-year-old to receive and if you didn't apply, someone did for you. If you were a disabled child her legal obligation to support you continues indefinitely. If she is your abuser she is not going to let you save up and move out. $1100/month is not a lot and it's going to be your income for a while. Working could jeopardize your social security. You shouldn't try to work until you understand how that will effect your income. I'd recommend contacting Disability Rights Texas. https://www.disabilityrightstx.org/en/home/ There are also legal aid organizations in your area that can confirm whether she has legal guardianship. If she does that is something you must challenge before you cam be independent.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: was a "oh well too bad you're an adult" when i tried to beg her to lower my rent and have mercy on me. Is this legal? If so is there anything i can do on social securities end? I can't live this way. I have called and they informed me they put in a request for me but nothing ever happened from then on. I live off food stamps as well, thats the only thing i can say keeps me afloat, but i go hungry 7-10 days waiting for my next amount. If i had adequate social security benefits i wouldn't starve or live in fear. Any advice or help is appreciated.
RESPONSE A: People are saying to contact APS but I also think you should contact your local developmental disability services agency. In my state, each county has a board of DD. It may be different in Texas, but you should be able to get help from them specific to your autism diagnosis. I did a Google search and this is what I found (https://tcdd.texas.gov/). I would encourage you to contact them. APS may refer you to them, but often times agencies don't communicate with each other and they might not even know to do that. You can get ongoing support from them and it may greatly improve the quality of your life. I want to encourage you by saying that you don't have to live this way. You can get help to find another SSI payee, and people who can help you live your day to day life. It just may take a while. Just reach out to them. In the meantime, have you looked into local food pantries? Often times they can even deliver if you can't get there. I wish you the best and hope you don't have to deal with this much longer. ❤️
RESPONSE B: I'm going to disagree with everyone who says that this is ipso facto financial abuse. OP gets room, board, and utilities (also clothing and other supplies?) for $624 per month, which seems quite reasonable. u/Napalmenator and a few others make the correct point that OP is perfectly free to change the payee and find a different living situation. ·
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: for my mom to take all my money? F19 disabled, TEXAS hello, ill keep this short but give as much info as i can. I am disabled, i have high functioning autism, although i can not work due to childhood abuse (amplifying my two other reasons) + no social skills + cant function with strangers. i make $631 a month from social security i make 461 from social security retirement (my father) and 170 (social security disability) My mother is my payee. She always has been, she charges me rent, thats reasonable as i am an adult. But she charges me $624 in rent + bills. Knowing im left with $7. I'm struggling to survive and am at a loss of what to do. She could care less. It was a "oh well too bad you're an adult" when i tried to beg her to lower my rent and have mercy on me. Is this legal? If so is there anything i can do on social securities end? I can't live this way. I have called and they informed me they put in a request for me but nothing ever happened from then on. I live off food stamps as well, thats the only thing i can say keeps me afloat, but i go hungry 7-10 days waiting for my next amount. If i had adequate social security benefits i wouldn't starve or live in fear. Any advice or help is appreciated.
RESPONSE A: You day there is no conservatorship or guardianship in place over you, and you are an independent adult... so this is pressure, abuse and bullying, not a legal arrangement. You can change your payee. If you are having trouble, give a call to Adult Protective Services. They will be able to advise you and probably provide practical help
RESPONSE B: I'm going to disagree with everyone who says that this is ipso facto financial abuse. OP gets room, board, and utilities (also clothing and other supplies?) for $624 per month, which seems quite reasonable. u/Napalmenator and a few others make the correct point that OP is perfectly free to change the payee and find a different living situation. ·
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