name
stringlengths 1
98
⌀ | line
stringlengths 1
1.11k
⌀ |
|---|---|
Andie | I've nEver kissed a boy. |
Chase | There's time yet for that. |
Andie | There was a boy last summer; I was at one of those cancer camps. |
Chase | Uh huh. |
Andie | I just nEver had the guts to ask him. You know there's a good chance I'm not gonna walk out of this hospital. Even if I do I'm nine. There's not a lot of kissing going on in the third grade. |
Chase | You will walk out of here, alright, and you will kiss a boy. There you go. A smile. |
Andie | Will you kiss me? |
Chase | No. |
Andie | No one will Ever know. |
Chase | I'm! I'm! I'm sorry I can't. |
Andie | I won't tell anyone. |
Chase | Listen, you're nine years old I'm thirty. |
Andie | I just want to know what it feels like. Once. |
Chase | This isn't your last chance for that. |
Andie | What if it is? Please kiss me. |
House | Bagels. |
Foreman | You didn't sleep in. |
House | Didn't sleep. Didn't breathe. I'm dying. |
Chase | Pulmonary angiogram of Andie's lungs was clean. Arterial blood gasses and a CT scan were also normal. Her heart and lungs are fine. |
House | Which gives us no explanation for the diminished sat percentage. |
Foreman | Yeah oddly enough sometimes normal is normal. |
House | Sometime we can't see why normal isn't normal. Get her symptoms on the board. |
Cameron | Whoa; you're letting me touch the markers? |
House | It's written down in my advanced health care directive, should I be incapacitated in any way you run the board, then Foreman. Chase you're just not ready yet. What else? |
Foreman | Guys, I know we ruled out infection but if we forget the labs for a minute, there is one infection we didn't test for because of her age. Neurosyphilis. |
Chase | There's no way. |
Foreman | If the infection dipped into her cerebral cortex all peripheral functions could be compromised. |
Chase | No she hasn't had sex, she's nine! |
Foreman | Maybe it wasn't her idea. I mean she's been around a lot of adults; all the hospital visits, the counselors at the cancer camps. |
Cameron | You think she's been molested. |
Chase | She's hiding it pretty well if there's any of that going on. |
House | Yeah, all girls who've been molested want to talk about it. Break out the rape kit. |
Chase | She hasn't had sex. |
House | Why are you so sure? |
Chase | She told me she'd nEver kissed a boy. |
House | You read her diary too? |
Chase | She asked me to kiss her. |
House | I rest my case. A regular nine year old girl does not have sex on the brain, not when a doctor is threading a catheter through her vein. |
Chase | But she's not a regular nine year old. She's got terminal cancer. |
House | Cancer doesn't make you special. Molestation on the other hand! |
Chase | She wanted one kiss before she dies. If she's nEver kissed a boy it's a fair bet she's nEver had sex. |
House | Tell that to all the hookers who won't kiss me on the mouth. Hey, here's a theory, she has been molested, seeks refuge in roMantic fantasies with older men with great hair. And I think you left out the punch line, victims of molestation learn to work the angles. Manipulate people. You did it didn't you. You kissed her. |
Chase | It wasn't sick. [Foreman and Cameron freak out quietly] It was one kiss for a dying girl. One small! one small kiss before she dies. Thank you. Thanks. |
House | This is exactly why you can't touch my markers. Go see if she's had sex. |
Cameron | Okay. |
Andie | No one's Ever touched me. |
Cameron | We just need to be sure. |
Andie | I like your hair. I used to have really curly hair. I always wanted it to be like yours is. |
Cameron | Thank you. Alright, that's it, you're fine. |
Wilson | With a Patient. |
House | Is she dying? |
Wilson | No. |
House | Then she can wait. |
Wilson | Would you excuse me, just 2 minutes. |
House | If only she'd been molested then we'd have something to go on. [He tries to open a jar of mentholatum] No forced entry. |
Wilson | One hallucination; maybe it was just bad pork, maybe there's nothing! |
House | She's not fine. Her sat percentage dropped another point. |
Wilson | Which could suggest a tumor in her lung. |
House | Lung wouldn't explain the hallucination. CT scan showed both lungs were clean, which means there's a tumor in her heart. |
Wilson | Not a chance. Give me that. |
House | I loosened it. |
Wilson | I opened it. We've got an MRI and an echo of her heart, there's nothing there. |
House | Give me one other explanation for low oxygen saturation. |
Wilson | I can't. There's only one condition that simultaneously affects the heart and the brain but she! |
House | Perfect let's go with that. |
Wilson | Tuberous Sclerosis in a kid that also has Alveolar Rhabdomyosarcoma. Two different unrelated cancers at the same time is a statistical no no. |
House | What's the rate of cancer in the general population? 1 in 10,000? |
Wilson | Don't, don't start with the numbers. |
House | The way I figure it 1 in 10,000 of them should have another cancer. Little girl won the lottery twice. It happens. |
Wilson | So you're gonna cut her open? |
House | Exploratory surgery, gotta find this thing. |
Wilson | You're just going to grope around inside an immuno-compromised nine year old? She could die on the table. |
House | I know it's somewhere near the heart. |
Wilson | House, you've gotta do better than that. |
Foreman | Why are we here? |
House | Better acoustics. Now listen to this. |
Chase | That's a mitral heart valve. |
House | No, get the wax out of your ears. This is the Patient's aortic valve. I downloaded the audio of her echocardiogram. |
Foreman | What are we trying to hear? |
House | Tumor. |
Chase | They tend to keep quiet on account of them not having any mouths. |
House | But we could hear an abnormality in the sound of the valve, which would indiCate the presence of something; a tumor for example. If we can tell the surgeon where to look this is no longer exploratory surgery it's a precision strike. |
Foreman | Her aortic valve sounds normal. |
House | Too bad. Now listen to the dulcet tones of Andie's tricuspid valve. |
Cameron | Normal. |
House | And this is her mitral valve. |
Chase | I don't hear anything weird. |
House | You guys make me sad. Listen again. |
Chase | She's had one hallucination. Why are we operating on her? Why are we risking her life? |
House | Because Wilson thinks it'll be nice to give the girl a year to say good bye to her mommy. I guess maybe she stutters or something. Now shut up and listen. Tricuspid. Mitral. Again. |
Cameron | Wait. There. There's an extra flap. |
House | I'm gonna ask the surgeon to look at the mitral valve first. Chase, I want you there. I don't like reading surgeons reports, they're boring. |
Chase | I'm not really sure I should be spending more time! |
House | She'll be unconscious you'll be safe. |
Mom | I'll be there when you wake up. |
Andie | I'm gonna be fine mom. |
Wilson | Brave kid, she Even gave her mom a pep talk. |
House | Sure. Brave. She's a wonder. |
Wilson | What's your pRoblem? |
House | These cancer kids; you can't put them all on a pedestal. It's basic statistics some of them have to be whiny little fraidy cats. |