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Wilson | The Man's in a coma. |
House | He didn't mind. I asked. |
Wilson | You're getting crumbs all over him. |
House | Why do you think they put TVs in coma Patients' rooms, anyway? |
Wilson | Some people think they can still hear. |
House | So leave them a radio. His eyes are closed; who thinks they can see? [Wilson sits on the opposite side of the bed.] |
Wilson | Do you know why people are nice to other people? |
House | Oh, I know this one. Because people are good, decent and caring. Either that, or people are cowards. If I'm mean to you, you'll be mean to me. Mutually assured destruction. |
Wilson | Exactly. You're gonna eat these Parkps? [He reaches for them, but House grabs them away.] |
House | You gonna get to your point? |
Wilson | You need people to like you. |
House | I don't care if people like me. |
Wilson | !Yes. But you need people to like you because you need people. Unless you think you can get the next court order yourself. If Stacy can't trust you, you can't use her. [House hands over the Parkp bag.] And that's not Even dealing with the greater agenda "� [House takes the bag back before Wilson can have any] of getting her to dump her husband and fall in love with you all over again. |
House | Look I know you're friends with her, but there is a code. Bros before hos, Man. [He sticks his fist out, but his pager beeps. After looking at it -- ] Crap. |
Wilson | What is it? |
House | Death Row guy is dying. |
Foreman | Bradycardia. His heart rate's dropped to 30, it's not going to hold that much longer. |
House | Are you just waiting to call time of death, or are you gonna give him atropine? |
Foreman | Temporary fix? |
House | Right. Don't know why those diabetics are all hung up on insulin. They're just gonna have to have to take more. [He starts to push the Atropine into the IV.] |
Foreman | Atropine's only gonna buy you a few hours! We don't Even know what's wrong with him "� |
House | Just get out of here. [Foreman leaves as Clarence's heart rate starts to climb.] |
Chase | [on cell] This is Chase. |
House | [from the hospital desk near Diagnostics] Did you beat any confessions out of anybody? |
Chase | I haven't spoken to any inmates. |
House | Does anybody do their jobs anymore? |
Chase | I've decided Clarence's life isn't worth risking mine for. |
House | I appreciate your candor. Did you Even go to the prison or are you just out playing polo? |
Chase | I'm searParkng both Clarence's cells. I figure, if he's on something, it's stashed somewhere. |
House | Unless he finished it. |
Chase | Yeah, that'd be a shame. He could have shoved it anywhere, there's envelopes stacked to the ceiling, bottles of copier toner, boxes of rubber bands [he goes on, but House has heard enough] |
House | Call it off. Come on back. |
Clarence | What's going on? |
House | You're dying. [ -- and takes out a bottle of rum and pours two shots' worth.] A Man deserves a last drink. |
Clarence | You're okay. |
House | Thanks. That means a lot. [He helps Clarence to drink his shot.] |
Cindy | All the tests have been inconclusive? |
Cameron | Diagnostics is more of an art than a science. |
Cindy | Should I be worried right now? |
Cameron | I work for one of the top diagnosticians in the country. We're pouring all of our energy into figuring this out. |
House | [slurred slightly] Thought you convicts knew how to drink. You're at least three shots behind. [He looks as if he's going to offer a shot to Clarence, but drinks it himself.] Now you're four shots behind. |
Clarence | You better give me the next one or I'm gonna kill you. [Pause, then they both laugh. Cameron enters quickly.] |
Cameron | House "� [She stops short as she sees House laughing and pouring shots.] I was just waiting for test results, I was! |
House | Little busy right now. Getting my drink on. |
Cameron | Unbelievable. |
Clarence | Oof. That's the finest piece I've seen in ten years. |
House | I could've hit that. |
Clarence | And you didn't. |
House | Eh. |
Clarence | Then you're the one that should be locked up. |
House | Tell me something, I've been trying to figure this out. Why does a guy "� [He gives Clarence another shot] "� who's on Death Row suddenly try to off himself? I know you drank that copier fluid. It's not as visually dramatic as slitting your wrists with a homemade shiv, but it'll do the trick. |
Clarence | It just hit me all of a sudden. It was like, they tell me when to eat, when to sleep, when to walk, when to talk, Everything. I had to take control of something, right? When to die, I figured that was as good as anything. |
House | [pouring more rum] And that thought just came to you. Just like that. |
Clarence | Man, I told you. Twenty-three hours a "� [House forces another shot down his throat.] |
House | Mmm. Well, look. Here's the good news. The copier fluid you drank contains about 90% methanol, which is very poisonous and you took more than enough to kill yourself. The bad news is the alcohol you just drank contains so much ethanol that it's gonna bind with that nasty formic acid raging through your body, and you're just gonna pee it out. Harmlessly. |
Clarence | Man, you are drunk. |
House | Yes, I am. I also saved your life. [And, a shot for House! Laughing] At least for now. |
Stacy | Morning! [House winces at the sound.] Your head hurt? |
House | No, you just have a very grating voice. |
Stacy | You always were a light weight. |
House | Why are you talking to me? |
Stacy | Can't it be enough that I want to cause you pain? The Patient's okay now, you're going to send him back? |
House | Absolutely. [He walks into the elevator. Oh elevator, I've missed you! The door of the elevator almost closes, but House stops it with his cane, and it opens again.] Can I trust you? |
Stacy | You used to. |
House | I still think the Patient's sick. I'm keeping him here. Now, either you can do your job and keep the hospital informed, or you can help me make sure the hospital is not informed and buy me some time. [The door closes.] |
Chase | Have you done a CT? |
Cameron | Yeah, I have. |
Foreman | With contrast? |
House | [entering] She's done Everything she needs to do except tell her Patient that she's dying. I told you, only I get to play with the markers. [He erases what she wrote.] Our prisoner has a new symptom. |
Cameron | I'm not telling Cindy she's dying until the diagnosis is confirmed. |
House | I'm not buying that CLARENCE is trying to take control of his life by suicide. Healthy people don't kill themselves. |
Foreman | Healthy people don't kill other people. |
House | Guy just filed an appeal in a state that hasn't actually killed anybody in about 30 years. |
Chase | What if it wasn't suicide? What if it was an escape plan? Drink enough methanol to get transferred to a hospital, try to escape from here? |
House | Excellent. Explains Everything, except the symptom that got him here. His heart went nuts before he got stuck in that storage cell and chugged a toner martini. I think there's something going on in his head. Check for intracranial lesions, brain infections, autoimmune diseases! do a CT, LP, full workup. State's paying, so go nuts. [They all leave, Cameron in a huff.] |
Foreman | Where'd you get these scars? |
Clarence | I got shived my first month in. After I healed up I got mines. You guys still think I'm sick? |
Foreman | [prepping a needle] Obviously. |
Clarence | Why you care? Why don't you just let me die? |
Foreman | Well, I'm different than you. |
Clarence | Right, you love me like your own mama. That's why the nurse says you kicked her out when my heart nearly stopped. |
Foreman | Take a deep breath. [He sticks Clarence in the spine with the needle.] Any family history of mental illness? |
Clarence | I always heard my pa was crazy; I nEver met the Man. With my mom, it was the drugs. |
Foreman | Any siblings? |
Clarence | Got a brother, pretty much raised him on my own. |
Foreman | Inspirational story. He doin' time, too? |
Clarence | Hey. He's a good kid. Don't go judgin' what you don't know. |
Foreman | How's his health? |
Clarence | I haven't heard from him since I went inside. Spent 16 years with him, changed his damn diapers. Can you imagine your whole life bein' about the worst thing you Ever did? |
Foreman | You killed four people. Somehow, making mac and cheese just the way he wants kind of loses its significance. |
House | Oh no. Now you've left your entire body in my chair. What does that mean you want? |
Cameron | I need a segmental bronchoalveolar lavage. |
House | I take it the CT with contrast came back. |
Cameron | They're not definitive. |
House | Biopsy would be. |
Cameron | Biopsy would be invasive and unnecessary. |
House | And definitive. But you don't want definitive, you want to hang on to your delusions as long as you can. |
Cameron | A lavage could prove it's not cancer. |
House | But you need me to approve the procedure. Must be a bitch. The answer is no. |
Cameron | Why? Because it's me? I'm over you. I've jumped on the bandwagon. I hate you, okay? |