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ุจู„ ุฅู†ู‡ุง ุงู„ุญุจ ุงู„ุนุธูŠู… ุทูˆุงู„ ุงู„ุญูŠุงุฉ ูˆุงู„ุฅูุชุชุงู†.
It is also my great lifelong love and fascination.
ูˆู„ุง ุฃุชูˆู‚ุน ุฃู† ู‡ุฐุง ุณูŠุชุบูŠุฑ ุจุชุงุชุงู‹.
And I don't expect that that's ever going to change.
ู„ูƒู†ุŒ ุฃู‚ูˆู„ุŒ ุฃู† ุดุฆ ู†ูˆุนุง ู…ุง ุบุฑูŠุจ ุญุตู„ ู…ุคุฎุฑุงู‹ ููŠ ุญูŠุงุชูŠ ูˆู…ุณูŠุฑุชูŠ ุงู„ู…ู‡ู†ูŠุฉุŒ ุงู„ุฐูŠ ุณุจุจ ู„ูŠ ุฃู† ุฃุถุทุฑ ู„ุฅุนุงุฏุฉ ุชู‚ูˆูŠู… ูƒุงู…ู„ ุนู„ุงู‚ุชูŠ ู…ุน ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุนู…ู„.
But, that said, something kind of peculiar has happened recently in my life and in my career, which has caused me to have to recalibrate my whole relationship with this work.
ูˆุงู„ุดุฆ ุงู„ุบุฑูŠุจ ู‡ูˆ ุฃู†ู†ูŠ ู…ุคุฎุฑุงู‹ ูƒุชุจุช ูƒุชุงุจุงู‹ุŒ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู…ุฐูƒุฑุงุช ุงู„ุชูŠ ุชุณู…ู‰ุŒ "ูƒูู„ุŒ ุตู„ู‘ูŠุŒ ุญุจ" ุงู„ุชูŠุŒ ุจุงู„ุชุฃูƒูŠุฏ ุชุฎุชู„ู ุนู† ุฃูŠ ู…ู† ูƒุชุจูŠ ุงู„ุณุงุจู‚ุฉุŒ ุฎุฑุฌ ุงู„ู‰ ุงู„ุนุงู„ู… ู„ุณุจุจ ู…ุงุŒ ูˆุฃุตุจุญ ุจู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ุถุฎุงู…ุฉุŒ ุงู„ุฅุญุณุงุณ ุงู„ุถุฎู…ุŒ ุงู„ูƒุชุงุจ ุงู„ุฃูƒุซุฑ ู…ุจูŠุนุง ุนุงู„ู…ูŠุงู‹ .
And the peculiar thing is that I recently wrote this book, this memoir called "Eat, Pray, Love" which, decidedly unlike any of my previous books, went out in the world for some reason, and became this big, mega-sensation, international bestseller thing.
ูˆู†ุชูŠุฌุฉ ุฐู„ูƒ ุฃู† ุฃูŠ ู…ูƒุงู† ุฃุฐู‡ุจ ุฅู„ูŠู‡ ุงู„ุขู†ุŒ ูŠุนุงู…ู„ู†ูŠ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ูƒู…ุง ู„ูˆ ุฃู† ู…ุตูŠุฑูŠ ู…ู‚ุฑุฑ.
The result of which is that everywhere I go now, people treat me like I'm doomed.
ุจูƒู„ ุฌุฏูŠุฉ-- ู…ุตูŠุฑูŠ ู‚ุฏ ุชู‚ุฑุฑุŒ ู‚ุฏ ุชู‚ุฑุฑ!
Seriously -- doomed, doomed!
ู…ุซู„ุŒ ูŠุฃุชูˆู† ุฅู„ูŠ ุงู„ุขู†ุŒ ุฌู…ูŠุนู‡ู… ู‚ู„ู‚ูˆู†ุŒ ูˆูŠู‚ูˆู„ูˆู†ุŒ " ุฃู„ุณุช ุฎุงุฆูุฉ-- ุฃู„ุง ุชุฎุงููŠู† ุฃู†ูƒ ู„ู† ุชุณุชุทูŠุนูŠ ุงู„ูˆุตูˆู„ ู„ุฅุนุชู„ุงุก ุชู„ูƒ ุงู„ู‚ู…ุฉุŸ
Like, they come up to me now, all worried, and they say, "Aren't you afraid you're never going to be able to top that?
ุฃู„ุณุช ุฎุงุฆูุฉ ู…ู† ุฃู†ูƒ ุณุชูˆุงุตู„ูŠ ุงู„ูƒุชุงุจุฉ ู„ุจู‚ูŠุฉ ุญูŠุงุชูƒ ูˆุฃู†ูƒ ู„ู† ุชุณุชุทูŠุนูŠ ู…ุฌุฏุฏุงู‹ ุชุฃู„ูŠู ูƒุชุงุจ ู„ุง ูŠู‡ุชู… ุจู‡ ุฃูŠ ุดุฎุต ููŠ ุงู„ุนุงู„ู…ุŒ ู…ุทู„ู‚ุงู‹ุŸ"
Aren't you afraid you're going to keep writing for your whole life and you're never again going to create a book that anybody in the world cares about at all, ever again?"
ุฅุฐุงู‹ ุฐู„ูƒ ุดุฆ ู…ุทู…ุฆู†ุŒ ูƒู…ุง ุชุนู„ู…ูˆู†.
So that's reassuring, you know.
ู„ูƒู†ู‡ ุณูŠูƒูˆู† ุฃุณูˆุฃุŒ ุจุฅุณุชุซู†ุงุก ุงู†ู‡ ุญุฏุซ ุฃู† ุชุฐูƒุฑุช ุฃู†ู‡ ู‚ุจู„ ู…ุง ูŠุฒูŠุฏ ุนู„ู‰ 20 ุนุงู…ุงู‹ ู…ุถุชุŒ ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุจุฏุฃุช ุฃุฎุจุฑ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ -- ุญูŠู†ู…ุง ูƒู†ุช ู…ุฑุงู‡ู‚ุฉ-- ุจุฃู†ู†ูŠ ุฃุฑูŠุฏ ุฃู† ุฃุตุจุญ ูƒุงุชุจุฉุŒ ู„ู‚ุฏ ู‚ุงุจู„ุช ู†ูุณ ุงู„ู†ูˆุนูŠุฉ ู…ู†ุŒ ุฑุฏูˆุฏ ุงู„ุฃูุนุงู„ ุงู„ู…ุจู†ูŠุฉ ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฎูˆู.
But it would be worse, except for that I happen to remember that over 20 years ago, when I was a teenager, when I first started telling people that I wanted to be a writer, I was met with this same sort of fear-based reaction.
ูˆุณูŠู‚ูˆู„ ุงู„ู†ุงุณุŒ " ุฃู„ุณุช ุฎุงุฆูุฉ ู…ู† ุฃู†ูƒ ู„ู† ุชุญุตู„ูŠ ุนู„ู‰ ุฃูŠ ู†ุฌุงุญ ู…ุฌุฏุฏุงู‹ุŸ
And people would say, "Aren't you afraid you're never going to have any success?
ุฃู„ุณุช ุฎุงุฆูุฉ ู…ู† ุฃู† ูŠู‚ุชู„ูƒ ุงู„ุชุฌุงู‡ู„ ูˆุงู„ุฑูุถ ุŸ
Aren't you afraid the humiliation of rejection will kill you?
ุฃู„ุณุช ุฎุงุฆูุฉ ู…ู† ุฃู†ูƒ ุชุฐู‡ุจูŠ ุณุชุนู…ู„ูŠ ู„ุจู‚ูŠุฉ ุญูŠุงุชูƒ ููŠ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู…ุฑูƒุจุฉ ูˆู„ู† ูŠุฎุฑุฌ ู…ู†ู‡ุง ุฃูŠ ุดุฆ ุจุชุงุชุงู‹ ูˆุฃู†ูƒ ุณุชู…ูˆุชูŠ ุนู„ู‰ ูƒูˆู…ุฉ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฎุฑุฏุฉ ู„ู„ุฃุญู„ุงู… ุงู„ู…ุญุทู…ุฉ ู…ุน ูู…ูƒ ู…ู„ุฆ ุจุฑู…ุงุฏ ู…ุฑุงุฑุฉ ุงู„ูุดู„ุŸ"
Aren't you afraid that you're going to work your whole life at this craft and nothing's ever going to come of it and you're going to die on a scrap heap of broken dreams with your mouth filled with bitter ash of failure?"
ู…ุซู„ ุฐู„ูƒุŒ ูƒู…ุง ุชุนู„ู…ูˆู†.
Like that, you know.
ุงู„ุฅุฌุงุจุฉ-- ุงู„ุฅุฌุงุจุฉ ุงู„ู…ุฎุชุตุฑุฉ ู„ูƒู„ ุชู„ูƒ ุงู„ุฃุณุฆู„ุฉ ู‡ูŠุŒ "ู†ุนู…."
The answer -- the short answer to all those questions is, "Yes."
ู†ุนู…ุŒ ุฃู†ุง ุฎุงุฆูุฉ ู…ู† ุชู„ูƒ ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก.
Yes, I'm afraid of all those things.
ูˆู„ู‚ุฏ ูƒู†ุช ูƒุฐู„ูƒ ุทูˆุงู„ ุงู„ูˆู‚ุช.
And I always have been.
ูˆุฃู†ุง ุฎุงุฆูุฉ ู…ู† ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ูˆุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุฃุดูŠุงุก ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุจุฌุงู†ุจู‡ุง ู„ุง ูŠุณุชุทูŠุน ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุญุชู‰ ุชุฎู…ูŠู†ู‡ุง. ู…ุซู„ ุงู„ุฃุนุดุงุจ ุงู„ุจุญุฑูŠุฉ ุŒ ูˆุบูŠุฑู‡ุง ู…ู† ุงู„ุงู…ูˆุฑ ุงู„ุชูŠ ู‡ูŠ ู…ุฎูŠูุฉ.
And I'm afraid of many, many more things besides that people can't even guess at, like seaweed and other things that are scary.
ู„ูƒู†ุŒ ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ูŠุฏูˆุฑ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ุญูˆู„ ุงู„ูƒุชุงุจุฉ ุงู„ุดุฆ ุงู„ุฐูŠ ูƒู†ุช ู†ูˆุนุงู‹ ู…ุง ุฃููƒุฑ ุจู‡ ู…ุคุฎุฑุงู‹ุŒ ูˆู…ู†ุฏู‡ุดุฉ ุญูˆู„ู‡ ู…ุคุฎุฑุงู‹ุŒ ู‡ูˆ ู„ู…ุงุฐุงุŸ
But, when it comes to writing, the thing that I've been sort of thinking about lately, and wondering about lately, is why?
ุชุนู„ู…ูˆู†ุŒ ู‡ู„ ู‡ูˆ ุนู‚ู„ุงู†ูŠุŸ
You know, is it rational?
ู‡ู„ ู‡ูˆ ู…ู†ุทู‚ูŠ ุฃู† ุฃูŠ ุดุฎุต ูŠุฌุจ ุฃู† ูŠุชูˆู‚ุน ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู† ุฎุงุฆูุงู‹ ู…ู† ุงู„ุนู…ู„ ุจุญูŠุซ ุฃู†ู‡ู… ูŠุดุนุฑูˆู† ุจุฃู†ู‡ู… ุฌุงุกูˆุง ุงู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฃุฑุถ ู„ูุนู„ู‡.
Is it logical that anybody should be expected to be afraid of the work that they feel they were put on this Earth to do.
ูƒู…ุง ุชุนู„ู…ูˆู†ุŒ ุงู„ุดุฆ ุงู„ุฎุงุต ุญูˆู„ ุงู„ู…ุดุงุฑูŠุน ุงู„ุฅุจุฏุงุนูŠุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ุชุจุฏูˆ ุฃู†ู‡ุง ุชุฌุนู„ู†ุง ู…ุชูˆุชุฑูŠู† ุญูˆู„ ุงู„ุตุญุฉ ุงู„ุนู‚ู„ูŠุฉ ู„ุจุนุถู†ุง ุงู„ุจุนุถ ุจุงู„ุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ู„ุง ุชูุนู„ู‡ุง ุงู„ู…ู‡ู† ุงู„ุฃุฎุฑู‰ุŒ ุชุนู„ู…ูˆู†ุŸ
And what is it specifically about creative ventures that seems to make us really nervous about each other's mental health in a way that other careers kind of don't do, you know?
ู…ุซู„ ุฃุจูŠุŒ ูƒู…ุซุงู„ุŒ ูƒุงู† ู…ู‡ู†ุฏุณุงู‹ ูƒูŠู…ูŠุงุฆูŠุงู‹ ูˆู„ุง ุฃุฐูƒุฑ ุฎู„ุงู„ ุนู…ู„ู‡ ู„ 40 ุนุงู…ุงู‹ ูƒู…ู‡ู†ุฏุณ ูƒูŠู…ูŠุงุฆูŠ ุฃู† ุณุฃู„ู‡ ุฃูŠ ุดุฎุต ุฅู† ูƒุงู† ุฎุงุฆูุงู‹ ู…ู† ูƒูˆู†ู‡ ู…ู‡ู†ุฏุณุงู‹ ูƒูŠู…ูŠุงุฆูŠุงู‹ุŒ ุชุนู„ู…ูˆู†ุŸ
Like my dad, for example, was a chemical engineer and I don't recall once in his 40 years of chemical engineering anybody asking him if he was afraid to be a chemical engineer, you know?
ู„ู… ูŠุญุฏุซ-- ุชู„ูƒ ุงู„ูƒุชู„ุฉ ู„ู„ู‡ู†ุฏุณุฉ ุงู„ูƒูŠู…ูŠุงุฆูŠุฉ ุฌูˆู†ุŒ ูƒูŠู ู‡ูŠุŸ
"That chemical-engineering block, John, how's it going?"
ุฅู† ุฐู„ูƒ ู„ุง ูŠุญุฏุซ ู‡ูƒุฐุงุŒ ุชุนู„ู…ูˆู†ุŸ
It just didn't come up like that, you know?
ู„ูƒู† ู„ูƒูŠ ุชูƒูˆู† ุฎุงุฆูุงู‹ุŒ ุงู„ู…ู‡ู†ุฏุณูˆู† ุงู„ูƒูŠู…ูŠุงุฆูŠูˆู† ูƒู…ุฌู…ูˆุนุฉ ู„ู… ูŠุญุตู„ูˆุง ุนู„ู‰ ุณูู…ุนุฉ ุนุจุฑ ุงู„ู‚ุฑูˆู† ู„ูƒูˆู†ู‡ู… ุฃุตุจุญูˆุง ู…ุฑุถู‰ ู…ู‡ูˆูˆุณูŠู† ู…ุฏู…ู†ูŠ ูƒุญูˆู„.
But to be fair, chemical engineers as a group haven't really earned a reputation over the centuries for being alcoholic manic-depressives.
ู†ุญู† ุงู„ูƒูุชู‘ุงุจุŒ ู†ุญู† ู†ูˆุนุง ู…ุง ู„ุฏูŠู†ุง ุชู„ูƒ ุงู„ุณูู…ุนุฉุŒ ูˆู„ูŠุณ ูู‚ุท ุงู„ูƒูุชู‘ุงุจุŒ ู„ูƒู† ุงู„ู…ุจุฏุนูŠู† ููŠ ูƒู„ ุงู„ู…ุฌุงู„ุงุชุŒ ูŠุจุฏูˆุŒ ุฃูƒุชุณุงุจ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ุณูู…ุนุฉ ู„ูƒูˆู† ุนู‚ูˆู„ู‡ู… ุบูŠุฑ ู…ุณุชู‚ุฑุฉ ุจุดุฏุฉ.
We writers, we kind of do have that reputation, and not just writers, but creative people across all genres, it seems, have this reputation for being enormously mentally unstable.
ูˆูƒู„ ู…ุง ุนู„ูŠูƒ ูุนู„ู‡ ู‡ูˆ ุงู„ู†ุธุฑ ููŠ ู‚ุงุฆู…ุฉ ุนุฏุฏ ุงู„ู…ูˆุชู‰ ููŠ ุงู„ู‚ุฑู† ุงู„ุนุดุฑูŠู† ู„ูˆุญุฏู‡ุŒ ู„ู„ุนู‚ูˆู„ ุงู„ุฎู„ุงู‘ู‚ุฉ ูุนู„ุงู‹ ุงู„ุฐูŠู† ู…ุงุชูˆุง ูŠุงูุนูŠู† ูˆุฏุงุฆู…ุงู‹ ุจุฃูŠุงุฏูŠู‡ู… ู‡ู… ุฃู†ูุณู‡ู…ุŒ ุชุนู„ู…ูˆู†ุŸ
And all you have to do is look at the very grim death count in the 20th century alone, of really magnificent creative minds who died young and often at their own hands, you know?
ูˆุญุชู‰ ุงู„ุฐูŠู† ู„ู… ูŠู†ุชุญุฑูˆุง ุญุฑููŠุงู‹ ูŠุจุฏูˆ ุฃู†ู‡ู… ู„ู… ูŠู…ูˆุชูˆุง ุจุณุจุจ ู…ู‡ุงุฑุงุชู‡ู…ุŒ ูƒู…ุง ุชุนู„ู…ูˆู†.
And even the ones who didn't literally commit suicide seem to be really undone by their gifts, you know.
ู‚ุจู„ ุฃู† ูŠู…ูˆุช ู†ูˆุฑู…ุงู† ู…ูŠู„ุฑุŒ ููŠ ุงู„ู„ู‚ุงุก ุงู„ุฃุฎูŠุฑุŒ ู‚ุงู„ " ุฃูŠ ูƒุชุงุจ ู…ู† ูƒุชุจูŠ ู‚ุฏ ู‚ุชู„ู†ูŠ ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุจู‚ู„ูŠู„."
Norman Mailer, just before he died, last interview, he said, "Every one of my books has killed me a little more."
ุชุตุฑูŠุญ ุฅุณุชุซู†ุงุฆูŠ ู„ุชู‚ูˆู… ุจู‡ ุญูˆู„ ุญูŠุงุชูƒ ุงู„ุนู…ู„ูŠุฉุŒ ูƒู…ุง ุชุนู„ู…ูˆู†.
An extraordinary statement to make about your life's work.
ู„ูƒู†ู†ุง ู„ุง ู†ุชุฑุฏุฏ ุงู„ุจุชุฉ ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ู†ุณู…ุน ุดุฎุตุงู‹ ู…ุง ูŠู‚ูˆู„ ู‡ุฐุง ู„ุฃู†ู†ุง ุณู…ุนู†ุง ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู†ูˆุน ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก ู„ูุชุฑุฉ ุทูˆูŠู„ุฉ ูˆุจุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ู…ุง ูู‚ุฏ ู‚ุจู„ู†ุง ุถู…ู†ูŠุงู‹ ูˆุฌู…ุงุนูŠุงู‹ ููƒุฑุฉ ุฃู† ุงู„ุฅุจุฏุงุน ูˆุงู„ู…ุนุงู†ุงุฉ ู‡ุฐู‡ ู…ุฑุชุจุทุฉ ุฅุฑุชุจุงุทุงู‹ ูˆุซูŠู‚ุงู‹ ูˆุฃู† ุงู„ูู†ุŒ ููŠ ุงู„ู†ู‡ุงูŠุฉุŒ ุณูŠู‚ูˆุฏ ููŠ ู†ู‡ุงูŠุฉ ุงู„ู…ุทุงู ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ูƒุฑุจ.
But we don't even blink when we hear somebody say this, because we've heard that kind of stuff for so long and somehow we've completely internalized and accepted collectively this notion that creativity and suffering are somehow inherently linked and that artistry, in the end, will always ultimately lead to anguish.
ูˆุงู„ุณุคุงู„ ุงู„ุฐูŠ ุฃุฑุบุจ ุฃู† ุฃุทุฑุญู‡ ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฌู…ูŠุน ู‡ู†ุง ุงู„ูŠูˆู… ู‡ูˆ ู‡ู„ ุฃู†ุชู… ุฌู…ูŠุนุงู‹ ู…ูˆุงูู‚ูˆู† ุนู„ู‰ ุชู„ูƒ ุงู„ููƒุฑุฉุŸ
And the question that I want to ask everybody here today is are you guys all cool with that idea?
ู‡ู„ ุฃู†ุชู… ู…ุฑุชุงุญูˆู† ู„ุฐู„ูƒ--
Are you comfortable with that?
ู„ุฃู†ูƒู… ุฅู† ู†ุธุฑุชู… ุฅู„ู‰ ุญุชู‰ ุดุจุฑ ูˆุงุญุฏ ุฃุจุนุฏุŒ ูƒู…ุง ุชุนู„ู…ูˆู†-- ูุฃู†ุง ู„ุณุช ุฑุงุถูŠุฉ ุจุชุงุชุงู‹ ุจู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุฅูุชุฑุงุถ.
Because you look at it even from an inch away and, you know -- I'm not at all comfortable with that assumption.
ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ุจุบูŠุถ.
I think it's odious.
ูˆุฃู†ุง ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ูƒุฐู„ูƒ ุฅู†ู‡ ุฎุทุฑุŒ ูˆุฃู†ุง ู„ุง ุฃุฑุบุจ ููŠ ุฑุคูŠุชู‡ ูŠูุฑุชูƒุจ ููŠ ุงู„ู‚ุฑู† ุงู„ู‚ุงุฏู….
And I also think it's dangerous, and I don't want to see it perpetuated into the next century.
ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃูุถู„ ู„ูˆ ุฃู†ู†ุง ุดุฌุนู†ุง ุนู‚ูˆู„ู†ุง ุงู„ุนุธูŠู…ุฉ ุงู„ู…ุจุฏุนุฉ ุนู„ู‰ ุฃู† ุชุนูŠุด.
I think it's better if we encourage our great creative minds to live.
ูˆุฃู†ุง ุฃุนุฑู ุฐู„ูƒ ุจุงู„ุชุฃูƒูŠุฏุŒ ููŠ ุญุงู„ุชูŠ -- ููŠ ูˆุถุนูŠุชูŠ -- ุณูŠูƒูˆู† ุฎุทุฑุงู‹ ุฌุฏุงู‹ ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ูŠ ุฃู† ุฃุจุฏุฃ ู†ูˆุน ู…ู† ุชุณุฑูŠุจ ุฐู„ูƒ ุงู„ุทุฑูŠู‚ ุงู„ู…ุธู„ู… ู„ู„ุฅูุชุฑุงุถุŒ ู„ุง ุณูŠู…ุง ุจุงู„ู†ุธุฑ ู„ู„ุธุฑูˆู ุงู„ุชูŠ ุฃู†ุง ููŠู‡ุง ุญุงู„ูŠุงู‹ ููŠ ุญูŠุงุชูŠ ุงู„ู…ู‡ู†ูŠุฉ.
And I definitely know that, in my case -- in my situation -- it would be very dangerous for me to start sort of leaking down that dark path of assumption, particularly given the circumstance that I'm in right now in my career.
ุงู„ุชูŠ ู‡ูŠ -- ูƒู…ุง ุชุนู„ู…ูˆู†ุŒ ุชุญู‚ู‚ูˆุง ู…ู† ุฐู„ูƒุŒ ุฃู†ุง ู…ุงุฒู„ุช ูŠุงูุนุฉุŒ ุฃุจู„ุบ ุญูˆุงู„ูŠ 40 ุนุงู…ุงู‹ .
Which is -- you know, like check it out, I'm pretty young, I'm only about 40 years old.
ูˆู…ุง ูŠุฒุงู„ ุฃู…ุงู…ูŠ ุฑุจู…ุง ุฃุฑุจุนุฉ ุนู‚ูˆุฏ ู„ุฃุนู…ู„ ููŠู‡ุง.
I still have maybe another four decades of work left in me.
ูˆุฅู†ู‡ ู…ู† ุงู„ู…ุฑุฌุญ ุจุฅุถุทุฑุงุฏ ุฃู† ุฃูŠ ุดุฆ ุฃูƒุชุจู‡ ู…ู† ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู†ู‚ุทุฉ ูˆุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฃู…ุงู… ุณูŠุชู… ู…ุญุงูƒู…ุชู‡ุง ู…ู† ู‚ุจู„ ุงู„ุนุงู„ู… ูƒุนู…ู„ ุฌุงุก ุนู‚ุจ ุงู„ู†ุฌุงุญ ุงู„ุบุฑูŠุจ ู„ูƒุชุงุจูŠ ุงู„ุฃุฎูŠุฑุŒ ุตุญูŠุญุŸ
And it's exceedingly likely that anything I write from this point forward is going to be judged by the world as the work that came after the freakish success of my last book, right?
ุฃุฑุบุจ ููŠ ุฃู† ุฃู‚ูˆู„ู‡ุง ุจุตุฑุงุญุฉุŒ ู„ุฃู†ู†ุง ู†ูˆุนุง ู…ุง ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก ู‡ู†ุง ุงู„ุขู†-- ู…ู† ุงู„ู…ุฑุฌุญ ุจุฅุฒุฏูŠุงุฏ ุฃู† ู†ุฌุงุญุงุชูŠ ุงู„ุฃุนุธู… ู‡ูŠ ุฎู„ููŠ.
I should just put it bluntly, because we're all sort of friends here now -- it's exceedingly likely that my greatest success is behind me.
ุฃูˆู‡ุŒ ูŠุง ุฅู„ู‡ูŠุŒ ูŠุง ู„ู„ููƒุฑุฉ!
So Jesus, what a thought!
ุชุนู„ู…ูˆู† ุฃู† ุฐู„ูƒ ุงู„ู†ูˆุน ู…ู† ุงู„ุชููƒูŠุฑ ุงู„ุฐูŠ ู‚ุฏ ูŠู‚ูˆุฏ ุงู„ุดุฎุต ู„ุฃู† ูŠุจุฏุฃ ููŠ ุดุฑุงุจ ุงู„ุฌู† ููŠ ุงู„ุชุงุณุนุฉ ุตุจุงุญุงู‹ุŒ ูˆุฃู†ุง ู„ุง ุฃุฑุบุจ ููŠ ูุนู„ ุฐู„ูƒ.
That's the kind of thought that could lead a person to start drinking gin at nine o'clock in the morning, and I don't want to go there.
ุณุฃูุถู‘ู„ ุฃู† ุฃูˆุงุตู„ ููŠ ูุนู„ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุนู…ู„ ุงู„ุฐูŠ ุฃุญุจ.
I would prefer to keep doing this work that I love.
ู„ุฐุงุŒ ูŠุตุจุญ ุงู„ุณุคุงู„ุŒ ูƒูŠูุŸ
And so, the question becomes, how?
ูˆู„ุฐุงุŒ ูŠุจุฏูˆ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ู„ูŠุŒ ุจุนุฏ ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ุชููƒูŠุฑุŒ ุฃู† ุงู„ุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ูŠุฌุจ ุฃู† ุฃุนู…ู„ ุจู‡ุง ุญุงู„ูŠุงู‹ุŒ ู…ู† ุฃุฌู„ ู…ูˆุงุตู„ุฉ ุงู„ูƒุชุงุจุฉุŒ ู‡ูŠ ุฃู†ู†ูŠ ูŠุฌุจ ุฃู† ุฃุจู†ูŠ ู†ูˆุน ู…ู† ุงู„ุญู…ุงูŠุฉ ุงู„ู†ูุณูŠุฉุŒ ุตุญูŠุญุŸ
And so, it seems to me, upon a lot of reflection, that the way that I have to work now, in order to continue writing, is that I have to create some sort of protective psychological construct, right?
ูŠุชูˆุฌุจ ุนู„ูŠู‘ุŒ ุฃู† ุฃุฌุฏ ู†ูˆุนุงู‹ ู…ุง ู…ุณุงูุฉ ุขู…ู†ุฉ ุจูŠู†ูŠุŒ ูƒูƒุงุชุจุฉุŒ ูˆู‚ู„ู‚ูŠ ุงู„ุทุจูŠุนูŠ ุญูˆู„ ุฃูŠ ุฑุฏ ูุนู„ ุณูŠูƒูˆู† ู„ู…ุง ุฃูƒุชุจู‡ุŒ ู…ู† ุงู„ุขู† ูุตุงุนุฏุงู‹.
I have to sort of find some way to have a safe distance between me, as I am writing, and my very natural anxiety about what the reaction to that writing is going to be, from now on.
ูˆ ูƒู…ุง ูƒู†ุช ุฃุจุญุซ ุฎู„ุงู„ ุงู„ุนุงู… ุงู„ู…ุงุถูŠ ุนู† ู†ู…ุงุฐุฌ ู„ูƒูŠููŠุฉ ูุนู„ ุฐู„ูƒ ู„ู‚ุฏ ูƒู†ุช ู…ุซู„ ุงู„ุฐูŠ ูŠู†ุธุฑ ุนุจุฑ ุงู„ุฒู…ุงู†ุŒ ูˆูƒู†ุช ุฃุญุงูˆู„ ุงู„ุนุซูˆุฑ ุนู„ู‰ ู…ุฌุชู…ุนุงุช ุฃุฎุฑู‰ ู„ุฑุคูŠุฉ ุฅุฐุง ู…ุง ูƒุงู† ู„ุฏูŠู‡ู… ุฃููƒุงุฑ ุฃูุถู„ ูˆุฃูƒุซุฑ ุนู‚ู„ุงู†ูŠุฉ ุนู† ุงู„ุชูŠ ู„ุฏูŠู†ุง ุญูˆู„ ูƒูŠููŠุฉ ู…ุณุงุนุฏุฉ ุงู„ู…ุจุฏุนูŠู†ุŒ ู„ุฅุฏุงุฑุฉ ู…ุฎุงุทุฑ ุงู„ุนูˆุงุทู ุงู„ู…ูˆุฑูˆุซุฉ ู„ู„ุฅุจุฏุงุน.
And, as I've been looking, over the last year, for models for how to do that, I've been sort of looking across time, and I've been trying to find other societies to see if they might have had better and saner ideas than we have about how to help creative people sort of manage the inherent emotional risks of creativity.
ูˆู‚ุงุฏู†ูŠ ุฐู„ูƒ ุงู„ุจุญุซ ุงู„ู‰ ุงู„ูŠูˆู†ุงู† ุงู„ู‚ุฏูŠู…ุฉ ูˆุฑูˆู…ุง ุงู„ู‚ุฏูŠู…ุฉ.
And that search has led me to ancient Greece and ancient Rome.
ุฅุฐุงู‹ ุฑูƒุฒูˆุง ู…ุนูŠุŒ ู„ุฃู†ู‡ุง ุชุฃุฎุฐ ุฏูˆุฑุฉ ูˆุชุนูˆุฏ.
So stay with me, because it does circle around and back.
ู„ูƒู†ุŒ ุงู„ูŠูˆู†ุงู† ุงู„ู‚ุฏูŠู…ุฉ ูˆุฑูˆู…ุง ุงู„ู‚ุฏูŠู…ุฉ-- ู„ู… ูŠุตุฏู ุฃู† ุขู…ู† ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุจุฃู† ุงู„ุฅุจุฏุงุน ูŠุฃุชูŠ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฅู†ุณุงู† ููŠ ุฐู„ูƒ ุงู„ูˆู‚ุชุŒ ุญุณู†ุงู‹ุŸ
But, ancient Greece and ancient Rome -- people did not happen to believe that creativity came from human beings back then, OK?
ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุฃู† ุงู„ุฅุจุฏุงุน ูƒุงู† ุฑูˆุญุงู‹ ุฅู„ู‡ูŠุฉ ู…ุตุงุญุจุฉ ุฌุงุกุช ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ุจุดุฑ ู…ู† ู…ุตุฏุฑ ุจุนูŠุฏ ูˆุบูŠุฑ ู…ุนุฑูˆูุŒ ู„ุฃุณุจุงุจ ุจุนูŠุฏุฉ ูˆุบูŠุฑ ู…ุนุฑูˆูุฉ.
People believed that creativity was this divine attendant spirit that came to human beings from some distant and unknowable source, for distant and unknowable reasons.
ู„ู‚ุฏ ุฃุทู„ู‚ ุงู„ุฃุบุฑูŠู‚ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ุฑูˆุญ ุงู„ุฅู„ู‡ูŠุฉ ุงู„ู…ุตุงุญุจุฉ ู„ู„ุฅุจุฏุงุน " ุงู„ุดูŠุงุทูŠู†."
The Greeks famously called these divine attendant spirits of creativity "daemons."
ุณู‚ุฑุงุทุŒ ูƒู…ุง ุฃุดุชู‡ุฑุŒ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ู„ุฏูŠู‡ ุงู„ุดูŠุทุงู† ุงู„ุฐูŠ ุฃุฎุจุฑู‡ ุจุงู„ุญูƒู…ุฉ ู…ู† ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุจุนุฏ.
Socrates, famously, believed that he had a daemon who spoke wisdom to him from afar.
ูˆูƒุงู† ู„ู„ุฑูˆู…ุงู† ู†ูุณ ุงู„ููƒุฑุฉุŒ ู„ูƒู†ู‡ู… ุฃุทู„ู‚ูˆุง ุนู„ูŠู‡ุง ุฑูˆุญ ุฎู„ุงู‚ุฉ ุบูŠุฑ ู…ุฌุณุฏุฉ ู„ู„ุนุจู‚ุฑูŠ.
The Romans had the same idea, but they called that sort of disembodied creative spirit a genius.
ูŠุง ู„ู„ุนุธู…ุฉุŒ ู„ุฃู† ุงู„ุฑูˆู…ุงู† ู„ู… ูŠุนุชู‚ุฏูˆุง ููŠ ุงู„ูˆุงู‚ุน ุฃู† ุงู„ุนุจู‚ุฑูŠ ูƒุงู† ุดุฎุต ู…ุญุฏุฏ ุฐูƒูŠ.
Which is great, because the Romans did not actually think that a genius was a particularly clever individual.
ู„ู‚ุฏ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏูˆุง ุฃู† ุงู„ุนุจู‚ุฑูŠ ูƒุงู† ู‡ุฐุงุŒ ู†ูˆุน ู…ู† ุงู„ูƒูŠุงู† ุงู„ุฅู„ู‡ูŠ ุงู„ุณุญุฑูŠ ุŒ ุงู„ุฐูŠ ูŠุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ุญุฑููŠุงู‹ ูŠุนูŠุด ููŠ ุฌุฏุฑุงู† ุฃุณุชุฏูŠูˆู‡ุงุช ุงู„ูู†ุงู†ูŠู†ุŒ ู†ูˆุน ู…ุซู„ ุฏูˆุจูŠ ููŠ ู…ู†ุฒู„ ู‚ุฒู…ุŒ ูˆุงู„ุฐูŠ ุณูŠุฌุฆ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฎูุงุก ูˆูŠุณุงุนุฏ ุงู„ูู†ุงู† ููŠ ุนู…ู„ู‡ ูˆุณูŠู‚ูˆู… ุจุชุดูƒูŠู„ ู†ุชุงุฆุฌ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุนู…ู„.
They believed that a genius was this, sort of magical divine entity, who was believed to literally live in the walls of an artist's studio, kind of like Dobby the house elf, and sort of invisibly assist the artist with their work and would shape the outcome of that work.
ุฑุงุฆุน ุฌุฏุงู‹ -- ู‡ุง ู‡ูŠุŒ ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุนู„ู‰ ุจุนุฏ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู…ุณุงูุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ุฃุชุญุฏุซ ุนู†ู‡ุง -- ุชู„ูƒ ุงู„ุจู†ูŠุฉ ุงู„ู†ูุณูŠุฉ ู„ุชุญู…ูŠูƒ ู…ู† ู†ุชุงุฆุฌ ุนู…ู„ูƒ.
So brilliant -- there it is, right there, that distance that I'm talking about -- that psychological construct to protect you from the results of your work.
ูˆุนุฑู ุงู„ุฌู…ูŠุน ุฃู† ู‡ุฐู‡ ู‡ูŠ ุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ุนู…ู„ู‡ุงุŒ ุตุญูŠุญุŸ
And everyone knew that this is how it functioned, right?
ุฅุฐุงู‹ ูุงู„ูู†ุงู†ูŠู† ุงู„ู‚ุฏุงู…ู‰ ูƒุงู†ูˆุง ู…ุญู…ูŠูŠู† ู…ู† ุฃุดูŠุงุก ู…ุญุฏุฏุฉุŒ ู…ุซู„ุŒ ุนู„ู‰ ุณุจูŠู„ ุงู„ู…ุซุงู„ุŒ ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ู†ุฑุฌุณูŠุฉุŒ ุตุญูŠุญุŸ
So the ancient artist was protected from certain things, like, for example, too much narcissism, right?
ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู† ุนู…ู„ูƒ ุฑุงุฆุนุงู‹ ุญู‚ุงู‹ ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุฃู† ุชุฃุฎุฐ ูƒู„ ุงู„ูุถู„ ููŠู‡ุŒ ูŠุนุฑู ุงู„ุฌู…ูŠุน ุฃู† ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ุนุจู‚ุฑูŠุฉ ุบูŠุฑ ุงู„ู…ุฌุณุฏุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ุณุงุนุฏุชูƒ.
If your work was brilliant, you couldn't take all the credit for it, everybody knew that you had this disembodied genius who had helped you.
ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู† ุนู…ู„ูƒ ูุงุดู„ุงู‹ุŒ ูู‡ุฐุง ุฎุทุฃ ู„ูŠุณ ู…ู†ูƒุŒ ุชุนู„ู…ูˆู†ุŸ
If your work bombed, not entirely your fault, you know?
ุนุฑู ุงู„ุฌู…ูŠุน ุฃู† ุนุจู‚ุฑูŠุชูƒ ู†ูˆุนุงู‹ ู…ุง ุนุฑุฌุงุก.
Everyone knew your genius was kind of lame.
ู‡ูƒุฐุง ููƒู‘ุฑ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุญูˆู„ ุงู„ุฅุจุฏุงุน ููŠ ุงู„ุบุฑุจ ู„ุฒู…ู† ุทูˆูŠู„ ุญู‚ุงู‹.
And this is how people thought about creativity in the West for a really long time.
ุซู… ุฌุงุก ุนุตุฑ ุงู„ู†ู‡ุถุฉ ูˆุชุบูŠู‘ุฑ ูƒู„ ุดุฆุŒ ูˆุญุตู„ู†ุง ุนู„ู‰ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ููƒุฑุฉ ุงู„ูƒุจูŠุฑุฉุŒ ูˆูƒุงู†ุช ู„ู†ุถุน ูƒู„ ุดุฎุต ููŠ ู…ุฑูƒุฒ ุงู„ูƒูˆู† ููˆู‚ ูƒู„ ุงู„ุขู„ู‡ุฉ ูˆุงู„ุฃุณุฑุงุฑ ุŒ ูˆู„ูŠุณ ุซู…ุฉ ู…ุชุณุน ู„ู„ู…ุฎู„ูˆู‚ุงุช ุงู„ุตูˆููŠุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ุชุชู„ู‚ู‰ ุงู„ุฅู…ู„ุงุก ู…ู† ุงู„ุขู„ู‡ุฉ.
And then the Renaissance came and everything changed, and we had this big idea, and the big idea was, let's put the individual human being at the center of the universe above all gods and mysteries, and there's no more room for mystical creatures who take dictation from the divine.
ูˆู‡ูŠ ุจุฏุงูŠุฉ ู„ู„ุฅู†ุณุงู†ูŠุฉ ุงู„ุฑุดูŠุฏุฉุŒ ูˆุจุฏุฃ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ููŠ ุชุตุฏูŠู‚ ุฃู† ุงู„ุฅุจุฏุงุน ูŠุฃุชูŠ ูƒู„ูŠุงู‹ ู…ู† ุฐุงุช ุงู„ูุฑุฏ.
And it's the beginning of rational humanism, and people started to believe that creativity came completely from the self of the individual.
ูˆู„ุฃูˆู„ ู…ุฑุฉ ููŠ ุงู„ุชุงุฑูŠุฎุŒ ุชุจุฏุฃ ููŠ ุณู…ุงุน ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ูŠุดูŠุฑูŠูˆู† ู„ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ูู†ุงู† ุฃูˆ ุฐุงูƒ ุจูƒูˆู†ู‡ ุนุจู‚ุฑูŠ ุจุฏู„ุงู‹ ุนู† ุฃู† ู„ุฏูŠู‡ ุนุจู‚ุฑูŠ.
And for the first time in history, you start to hear people referring to this or that artist as being a genius, rather than having a genius.
ูˆูŠุฌุจ ุฃู† ุฃุฎุจุฑูƒู…ุŒ ูˆุงุนุชู‚ุฏ ุงู† ู‡ุฐุง ูƒุงู† ุฎุทุฃ ูุงุฏุญุงู‹.
And I got to tell you, I think that was a huge error.
ุชุนู„ู…ูˆู†ุŒ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ุงู„ุณู…ุงุญ ู„ุดุฎุต ู…ุงุŒ ุดุฎุต ูˆุงุญุฏ ูู‚ุท ุจุฃู† ูŠุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ู‡ูˆ ุฃูˆ ู‡ูŠ ุŒ ู…ุซู„ ุงู„ูˆุนุงุก ุชุนู„ู…ูˆู†ุŒ ู…ุซู„ ุงู„ุฎุท ูˆุงู„ุฌูˆู‡ุฑ ูˆุงู„ู…ุตุฏุฑ ู„ูƒู„ ุงู„ู‚ุฏุงุณุฉุŒ ุงู„ุฅุจุฏุงุนุŒ ุงู„ู…ุฌู‡ูˆู„ุŒ ุงู„ุฃู„ุบุงุฒ ุงู„ุฃุจุฏูŠุฉ ูˆุฃู† ูŠุชูˆุดุญ ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ู…ุณุฆูˆู„ูŠุฉ ู„ูŠุชู… ูˆุถุนู‡ุง ุนู„ู‰ ู†ูุณ ุจุดุฑูŠุฉ ูˆุงุญุฏุฉุŒ ู‡ุดุฉ .
You know, I think that allowing somebody, one mere person to believe that he or she is like, the vessel, you know, like the font and the essence and the source of all divine, creative, unknowable, eternal mystery is just a smidge too much responsibility to put on one fragile, human psyche.
ุฐู„ูƒ ู…ุซู„ ุฃู† ุชุทู„ุจ ู…ู† ุดุฎุต ู…ุง ุฃู† ูŠุจู„ุน ุงู„ุดู…ุณ.
It's like asking somebody to swallow the sun.
ุฅู†ู‡ุง ุฅุนูˆุฌุงุฌ ูƒุงู…ู„ ูˆุชุดูˆูŠุด ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฐุงุชุŒ ูˆู‡ุฐุง ูŠุตู†ุน ูƒู„ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ุชูˆู‚ุนุงุช ุงู„ุชูŠ ู„ุง ูŠู…ูƒู† ุงู„ุณูŠุทุฑุฉ ุนู„ูŠู‡ุง ุญูˆู„ ุงู„ุฃุฏุงุก.
It just completely warps and distorts egos, and it creates all these unmanageable expectations about performance.
ูˆุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ู†ุชูŠุฌุฉ ุงู„ุถุบุท ู…ู† ุฐู„ูƒ ูƒุงู† ูŠู‚ุชู„ ุงู„ูู†ุงู†ูŠู† ุฎู„ุงู„ ุงู„ 500 ุณู†ุฉ ุงู„ุฃุฎูŠุฑุฉ.
And I think the pressure of that has been killing off our artists for the last 500 years.
ูˆุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู† ู‡ุฐุง ุตุญูŠุญุงู‹ุŒ ูˆุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ุตุญูŠุญุŒ ูŠุตุจุญ ุงู„ุณุคุงู„ุŒ ู…ุงุฐุง ุงู„ุขู†ุŸ
And, if this is true, and I think it is true, the question becomes, what now?
ู‡ู„ ูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ู†ูุนู„ู‡ุง ุจุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ู…ุฎุชู„ูุฉุŸ
Can we do this differently?
ุฑุจู…ุง ู†ุฐู‡ุจ ุฑุฌูˆุนุง ู„ุจุนุถ ุงู„ูู‡ู… ุงู„ู‚ุฏูŠู… ุญูˆู„ ุงู„ุนู„ุงู‚ุฉ ู…ุง ุจูŠู† ุงู„ุจุดุฑ ูˆุงู„ุบู…ูˆุถ ุงู„ุฎู„ุงู‚.
Maybe go back to some more ancient understanding about the relationship between humans and the creative mystery.
ุฑุจู…ุง ู„ุง.
Maybe not.
ุฑุจู…ุง ู„ุง ู†ุณุชุทูŠุน ู…ุญูˆ 500 ุนุงู… ู…ู† ุงู„ููƒุฑ ุงู„ุฅู†ุณุงู†ูŠ ุงู„ุฑุงุดุฏ ููŠ ู…ุญุงุฏุซุฉ ูˆุงุญุฏุฉ 18 ุฏู‚ูŠู‚ุฉ.
Maybe we can't just erase 500 years of rational humanistic thought in one 18 minute speech.
ูˆุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฃุฑุฌุญ ุฃู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุฃู†ุงุณ ููŠ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุญุถูˆุฑ ุงู„ุฐูŠู† ู…ู† ุดุฃู†ู‡ู… ุฅุจุฏุงุก ุดูƒูˆูƒ ู…ุดุฑูˆุนุฉ ุนู„ู…ูŠุงู‹ ุญูˆู„ ู…ูู‡ูˆู…ุŒ "ุงู„ุฌู†" ููŠ ุงู„ุฃุณุงุณ ุงู„ุฐูŠ ูŠุฌูˆู„ ุญูˆู„ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ูˆูŠู„ู‚ูŠ ุงู„ุชุนูˆูŠุฐุงุช ุนู„ู‰ ู…ุดุงุฑูŠุนู‡ู… ูˆุฃุนู…ุงู„ู‡ู….
And there's probably people in this audience who would raise really legitimate scientific suspicions about the notion of, basically, fairies who follow people around rubbing fairy juice on their projects and stuff.
ุฃู†ุง ู„ู† ุฃู‚ูˆู… ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฃุฑุฌุญ ุจุฅู‚ู†ุงุนูƒู… ุจูƒู„ ู‡ุฐุง ,
I'm not, probably, going to bring you all along with me on this.
ู„ูƒู† ุงู„ุณุคุงู„ ุงู„ุฐูŠ ู†ูˆุนุงู‹ ู…ุง ุฃุฑูŠุฏ ุทุฑุญู‡ ู‡ูˆ -- ูƒู…ุง ุชุนู„ู…ูˆู†ุŒ ู„ู… ู„ุงุŸ
But the question that I kind of want to pose is -- you know, why not?
ู„ู… ู„ุง ู†ููƒุฑ ููŠู‡ุง ุจู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉุŸ
Why not think about it this way?
ู„ุฃู†ู‡ุง ุชูุณุฑ ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ุชู…ุงู…ุงู‹ ู…ุซู„ ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฐูŠ ุณู…ุนุชู‡ ู…ู† ู†ุงุญูŠุฉ ุชูุณูŠุฑ ุชู‚ู„ุจุงุช ุงู„ู‡ูˆู‰ ูˆุฌู†ูˆู†ู‡ ู„ู„ุนู…ู„ูŠุฉ ุงู„ุฅุจุฏุงุนูŠุฉ.
Because it makes as much sense as anything else I have ever heard in terms of explaining the utter maddening capriciousness of the creative process.
ุงู„ุนู…ู„ูŠุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠุŒ ู…ุซู„ ูƒู„ ุดุฎุต ู‚ุฏ ุญุงูˆู„ ุณุงุจู‚ุงู‹ ูุนู„ ุฃูŠ ุดุฆ -- ู‡ูŠ ุฃู† ุชู‚ูˆู„ ููŠ ุงู„ุฃุณุงุณุŒ ุงู„ุฌู…ูŠุน ู‡ู†ุง --- ูŠุนุฑู ุฅู†ู‡ู… ู„ุง ูŠุชุตุฑููˆู† ุฏุงุฆู…ุงู‹ ุจุนู‚ู„ุงู†ูŠุฉ.
A process which, as anybody who has ever tried to make something -- which is to say basically everyone here --- knows does not always behave rationally.
ูˆููŠ ุงู„ุญู‚ูŠู‚ุฉุŒ ูŠุณุชุทูŠุน ุจุนุถ ุงู„ุฃุญูŠุงู† ุฃู† ูŠุดุนุฑ ุจุงู„ุฎูˆุงุฑู‚.
And, in fact, can sometimes feel downright paranormal.
ู„ู‚ุฏ ู‚ุงุจู„ุช ู‡ุฐุง ู…ุคุฎุฑุงู‹ ุญูŠุซ ุฅู„ุชู‚ูŠุช ุจุงู„ุดุงุนุฑุฉ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒูŠุฉ ุงู„ุฅุณุชุซู†ุงุฆูŠุฉ ุฑูˆุซ ุณุชูˆู†ุŒ ุงู„ุชูŠ ุงู„ุขู† ููŠ ู…ู†ุชุตู ุงู„ุชุณุนูŠู†ุงุช ู…ู† ุนู…ุฑู‡ุงุŒ ูˆูƒุงู†ุช ุดุงุนุฑุฉ ุทูˆุงู„ ุญูŠุงุชู‡ุง ูˆุฃุฎุจุฑุชู†ูŠ ุฃู†ู‡ุง ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ูƒุงู†ุช ุชุฑุนุฑุน ููŠ ุฑูŠู ููŠุฑุฌูŠู†ูŠุงุŒ ูƒุงู†ุช ุชุฎุฑุฌ ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ุญู‚ูˆู„ุŒ ูˆู‚ุฏ ู‚ุงู„ุช ุฅู†ู‡ุง ูƒุงู†ุช ุชุญุณ ูˆุชุณู…ุน ุดุนุฑุงู‹ ูŠุฃุชูŠู‡ุง ู…ู† ูƒู„ ุงู„ู…ู†ุงุธุฑ ุงู„ุทุจูŠุนูŠุฉ.
I had this encounter recently where I met the extraordinary American poet Ruth Stone, who's now in her 90s, but she's been a poet her entire life and she told me that when she was growing up in rural Virginia, she would be out working in the fields, and she said she would feel and hear a poem coming at her from over the landscape.
ูˆู‚ุฏ ู‚ุงู„ุช ุฅู†ู‡ุง ูƒุงู†ุช ู…ุซู„ ู‚ุทุงุฑ ุฑู‡ูŠุจ ู…ู† ุงู„ู‡ูˆุงุก.
And she said it was like a thunderous train of air.
ูˆุฅู†ู‡ ูŠู†ุทู„ู‚ ุชุฌุงู‡ู‡ุง ููŠ ุงู„ู…ู†ุงุธุฑ ุงู„ุทุจูŠุนูŠุฉ.
And it would come barreling down at her over the landscape.
ูˆู‚ุฏ ุดุนุฑุช ุฃู†ู‡ ูŠุฃุชูŠุŒ ู„ุฃู†ู‡ ุณูŠู‡ุฒ ุงู„ุฃุฑุถ ุชุญุช ุฃู‚ุฏุงู…ู‡ุง.
And she felt it coming, because it would shake the earth under her feet.
ูˆู‡ูŠ ุชุนู„ู… ุฃู†ู‡ ูŠู†ุจุบูŠ ุนู„ูŠู‡ุง ูุนู„ ุดุฆ ูˆุงุญุฏ ููŠ ุชู„ูƒ ุงู„ุญุงู„ุฉุŒ ูˆูƒุงู† ุฐู„ูƒุŒ ุจูƒู„ู…ุงุชู‡ุงุŒ " ุงู„ุฌุฑูŠ ุจุฃู‚ุตู‰ ุณุฑุนุฉ."
She knew that she had only one thing to do at that point, and that was to, in her words, "run like hell."
ูˆุชุฌุฑูŠ ุจุฃู‚ุตู‰ ุณุฑุนุฉ ุงู„ู‰ ุงู„ู…ู†ุฒู„ ูˆุณุชูƒูˆู† ู…ุทุงุฑุฏุฉ ุจู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู‚ุตูŠุฏุฉุŒ ูˆูƒุงู† ูƒู„ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ู‡ูˆ ุฃู† ุนู„ูŠู‡ุง ุงู„ุญุตูˆู„ ุนู„ู‰ ู‚ุทุนุฉ ูˆุฑู‚ ูˆู‚ู„ู… ุฑุตุงุต ุจุณุฑุนุฉ ูƒุงููŠุฉ ุจุญูŠุซ ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุชุชุฒู„ุฒู„ ุนุจุฑู‡ุงุŒ ูŠู…ูƒู†ู‡ุง ุฌู…ุนู‡ุง ูˆุชุฏูˆูŠู†ู‡ุง ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ูˆุฑู‚ุฉ.
And she would run like hell to the house and she would be getting chased by this poem, and the whole deal was that she had to get to a piece of paper and a pencil fast enough so that when it thundered through her, she could collect it and grab it on the page.
ูˆููŠ ุงู„ู…ุฑุงุช ุงู„ุฃุฎุฑู‰ ุงู„ุชูŠ ู„ุง ุชูƒูˆู† ููŠู‡ุง ุณุฑูŠุนุฉ ุจู…ุง ูŠูƒููŠุŒ ูุงู†ู‡ุง ุชุฑูƒุถ ูˆุชุฑูƒุถ ูˆุชุฑูƒุถุŒ ูˆู„ู† ุชุตู„ ุงู„ู‰ ุงู„ู…ู†ุฒู„ ูˆุณุชู†ุทู„ู‚ ุงู„ู‚ุตูŠุฏุฉ ุนุจุฑู‡ุง ูˆุณุชูุชู‚ุฏู‡ุง ูˆู‚ุฏ ู‚ุงู„ุช ุฃู†ู‡ุง ูˆุงุตู„ุช ุนุจุฑ ุงู„ู…ู†ุงุธุฑ ุงู„ุทุจูŠุนูŠุฉุŒ ุชู†ุธุฑุŒ ู„ุฃู†ู‡ุง ุชุฏุฎุฑู‡ุง " ู„ู‚ุตูŠุฏุฉ ุฃุฎุฑู‰."
And other times she wouldn't be fast enough, so she'd be running and running, and she wouldn't get to the house and the poem would barrel through her and she would miss it and she said it would continue on across the landscape, looking, as she put it "for another poet."
ุซู… ูƒุงู†ุช ุชู„ูƒ ุงู„ุฃูˆู‚ุงุช -- ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู‚ุทุนุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ู„ู† ุฃู†ุณุงู‡ุง ู…ุทู„ู‚ุงู‹-- ู„ู‚ุฏ ู‚ุงู„ุช ุฃู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ู„ุญุธุงุช ุญูŠุซ ุชูƒุงุฏ ุชูู‚ุฏู‡ุงุŒ ุตุญูŠุญุŸ
And then there were these times -- this is the piece I never forgot -- she said that there were moments where she would almost miss it, right?
ู„ุฐุงุŒ ูุฃู†ู‡ุง ุชุฑูƒุถ ุงู„ู‰ ุงู„ู…ู†ุฒู„ ูˆุชุจุญุซ ุนู† ุงู„ูˆุฑู‚ุฉ ูˆุชู†ุทู„ู‚ ุชู„ูƒ ุงู„ู‚ุตูŠุฏุฉ ุนุจุฑู‡ุงุŒ ูˆุชู„ุชู‚ุท ู‚ู„ู… ุงู„ุฑุตุงุต ููŠ ุงู„ูˆู‚ุช ุงู„ุฐูŠ ุชู†ุทู„ู‚ ููŠู‡ ุนุจุฑู‡ุงุŒ ุซู… ู‚ุงู„ุชุŒ ู„ู‚ุฏ ูƒุงู†ุช ู…ุซู„ู…ุง ู„ูˆ ุฃู†ู‡ุง ูˆุตู„ุช ู„ูŠุฏู‡ุง ุงู„ุฃุฎุฑู‰ ู„ูƒุงู†ุช ู‚ุฏ ู…ุณูƒุชู‡ุง.
So, she's running to the house and she's looking for the paper and the poem passes through her, and she grabs a pencil just as it's going through her, and then she said, it was like she would reach out with her other hand and she would catch it.
ุณุชู…ุณูƒ ุงู„ู‚ุตูŠุฏุฉ ู…ู† ุฐูŠู„ู‡ุงุŒ ูˆุณุชู‚ูˆู… ุจุณุญุจู‡ุง ุนูƒุณูŠุงู‹ ุฅู„ู‰ ุฌุณู…ู‡ุง ุจูŠู†ู…ุง ุชูƒูˆู† ุชุฏูˆู‘ู† ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ูˆุฑู‚ุฉ.
She would catch the poem by its tail, and she would pull it backwards into her body as she was transcribing on the page.
ูˆููŠ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู…ูˆุงู‚ูุŒ ุณุชุฃุชูŠ ุงู„ู‚ุตูŠุฏุฉ ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ูˆุฑู‚ุฉ ูƒุงู…ู„ุฉ ูˆ ุณู„ูŠู…ุฉ ู„ูƒู†ู‡ุง ู…ุนูƒูˆุณุฉุŒ ู…ู† ุงู„ูƒู„ู…ุฉ ุงู„ุฃุฎูŠุฑุฉ ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฃูˆู„ู‰.
And in these instances, the poem would come up on the page perfect and intact but backwards, from the last word to the first.
ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุณู…ุนุช ุฐู„ูƒ ูƒู†ุช ู…ุซู„ -- ุฐู„ูƒ ุฎุงุฑู‚ ู„ู„ุทุจูŠุนุฉุŒ ุฐู„ูƒ ุจุงู„ุถุจุท ู…ุซู„ ุนู…ู„ูŠุฉ ุงู„ุฅุจุฏุงุน ุฎุงุตุชูŠ.
So when I heard that I was like -- that's uncanny, that's exactly what my creative process is like.
ู„ูŠุณ ุฐู„ูƒ ูƒู„ ู…ุง ู‡ูˆ ุนู„ูŠู‡ ุนู…ู„ูŠุฉ ุงู„ุฅุจุฏุงุน ุฎุงุตุชูŠ-- ุฃู†ุง ู„ุณุช ุฃู†ุจูˆุจ!
That's not at all what my creative process is -- I'm not the pipeline!
ุฃู†ุง ุนู†ูŠุฏุฉุŒ ูˆุงู„ุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ูŠู†ุจุบูŠ ุฃู† ุฃุนู…ู„ ุจู‡ุง ู‡ูŠ ุฃู† ุนู„ูŠู‘ ุฃู† ุฃุณุชูŠู‚ุธ ููŠ ู†ูุณ ุงู„ุชูˆู‚ูŠุช ูŠูˆู…ูŠุงู‹ุŒ ูˆุฃู† ุฃุนู…ู„ ุจุฌุฏ ูˆุนุฑู‚ ูˆุฃู†ุทู„ู‚ ุนุจุฑู‡ุง ุจูƒู„ ุฃู„ู….
I'm a mule, and the way that I have to work is I have to get up at the same time every day, and sweat and labor and barrel through it really awkwardly.