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SCP-2260 is a green composition book with no markings or names on the front of the book.

*** Item #: SCP-2260 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2260 is contained in Locker 43, located inside the storage room in Area-35. Any personnel wishing to use SCP-2260 for any purpose must fill out the mandatory SCP-2260 paperwork. The paperwork must detail location of choice, time wishing to be spent there, and activities performed at said location and submit the paperwork to Dr. Matthews. He will approve or deny the request to use SCP-2260. All entries into SCP-2260 must be monitored by at least two security personnel, and any deviation from approved entries will be met with immediate termination. Description: SCP-2260 is a green composition book with no markings or names on the front of the book. On the first page of the book, the sentence "I went to spend the rest of my life in Hawaii" is written in pencil. SCP-2260 is in good physical condition, contains 200 wide ruled pages, and appears the same as a non-anomalous composition book; however, it weighs 4.5 kg, or approximately 10 lbs. Use of SCP-2260 puts subjects in a temporary coma and causes them to dream of visiting the location specified in the writing. Subjects do not physically manifest at the location; however, events that take place in the coma will affect the subject's physical body. Anyone wishing to travel using SCP-2260 must use a journal entry formatting. It must be written in the past tense, specify a place the subject wants to go to, and what length of time the subject wants to stay at said place (ex. I went to Japan and I stayed for 2 days). Extra details can be specified, such as specifying exact events that the writer wants to do, but this is not necessary. After the information is written in SCP-2260, the subject is rendered unconscious, and will remain unconscious until the time written down is fulfilled. Subjects cannot be awoken during their coma. Upon awakening, subjects have been shown to have exact recollections of the events in the coma. The entry in SCP-2260 fades immediately at the end of the subject's coma. SCP-2260 can be used to send people to fictional locations, locations that are not typically able to be reached, locations that no longer exist, and locations that do not exist yet. Subjects that are sent into sites existing in the past have matched historical records, and events seen by subjects sent into sites existing in the future have happened precisely as shown. Subjects that use SCP-2260 once a week or more have been prone to hallucinogenic episodes while awake, visiting places previously entered by the subject into SCP-2260. Lightheadedness and temporary amnesia have also been recorded in subjects. One extreme case had a subject permanently fall into a coma while inside their cell. Subjects have stated that visiting a location while awake makes the location appear distorted, and that people inside will begin screaming at the subject to leave. Addendum 2260-A: Location Time Events Details Guatemala 1 week None Subject remained unconscious for 1 week. Upon waking up, subject said they had a nice time. Nazi Germany, 1939 5 days None Subject remained unconscious for 3 days, and began bleeding through the forehead. The wound was bullet shaped and the subject expired 14 seconds later. The room subject is in 10 minutes in the future 5 minutes None Subject woke up and stated that someone would interrupt the test. Eight minutes later Dr. Matthews stepped in to see how the test was doing. A solid block of wood 1 hour None Upon subject going into unconsciousness, subject immediately began seizing and normal treatment of seizures had no effect. Subject expired 10 minutes later. Atlantis 2 days None Subject entered unconsciousness and breathing became increasingly faster. Heart beat also began rising. Subject expired after 5 minutes. Atlantis 2 days Having a breathing apparatus on Subject remained unconscious for 2 days, and awoke to tell many stories of advanced technology and a city at the bottom of the ocean. It appears the previous subject drowned while at the location. Surface of the sun 10 minutes Being able to survive the sun's heat Subject remained unconscious for 10 minutes. Subject awoke and exclaimed they are blind. Testing from an ophthalmologist revealed the claim to be true. Test location 1 hour Writing into SCP-2260 See Addendum 2260-D Further testing has been requested. Addendum 2260-B: The book was initially found in the possession of Mr. James R██████, referred to as SCP-2260-1. SCP-2260-1 had written the entry about going to Hawaii. It is presumed that because he specified a time that will end upon his demise, he will never wake up from SCP-2260. Testing has been done on his vitals while in the comatose state. SCP-2260 keeps all brain activity normal, and appears to regulate heart beat and other vital organs. It also regenerates cell structure 10 times quicker than that of a normal human. SCP-2260-1 has been put in the Cryogenics Area in Sector C for further testing. Addendum 2260-C: As it appears that SCP-2260 causes addiction in some subjects, researchers are advised to exercise caution when using a subject for multiple tests. Multiple D-class subjects have made requests to re-use SCP-2260, despite risk of bodily harm. One D-class subject repeatedly said "Give me the book" and refused to eat, sleep, or even move until further testing was performed on them. Addendum 2260-D: The goal of this experiment was to test what happens when a subject enters a secondary SCP-2260 while inside SCP-2260. There were two medical personnel at hand, three security personnel, two research assistants, and Dr. Matthews was present to facilitate the experiment. + Show timeline of SCP-2260 Experiment Log H-45 - Hide timeline of SCP-2260 Experiment Log H-45 Timeline of experiment: 0 Minutes: Subject went into unconsciousness, and brain activity remained normal. 4 minutes: Brain activity doubles and regulation of vital organs and heartbeat double as well. 10 minutes: Subject begins to perspire heavily. 15 minutes: Perspiration of sweat turns into perspiration of blood. 25 minutes: Subject's brain activity and regulation doubles again, making bodily functions quadruple their normal speed. It is assumed that subject entered SCP-2260 again while inside the secondary SCP-2260. 32 minutes: Brain begins to swell, and subject begins to become pale. 35 minutes: Heart fails. Stomach lining bursts from excess gastric acid. 36 minutes: Attempts were made to erase the entry from SCP-2260. Entry reappears each time. Medical personnel were attempting to revive subject by using a defibrillator. 41 minutes: Subject is revived. 50 minutes: Brain activity recedes by half. Regulation of vital organs halves as well. 54 minutes: Stomach lining heals due to SCP-2260's normal effects. 60 minutes: Subject awakens. Entry fades from SCP-2260. Immediately following experimentation, subject showed severe mental strain and could not properly respond to verbal commands or visual stimuli. Subject was put into psychological counselling for two months. An interview was conducted immediately after the two months expired. + Viewing of interview is restricted to level 2 or higher personnel - Hide Interview Interview of D-6795 on 9/██/██ Interview was conducted by Dr. Matthews < Begin Log > Dr. Matthews: Hello D-6795. D-6795: H-hi. Dr. Matthews: How are you doing today? D-6795: F-f-f-f-fine. Dr. Matthews: Can you tell me what happened when you wrote into SCP-2260 that day? D-6795: I… I went in. And you…were there. And the people there to watch were there too. But they were different. They were blank. Blank. Dr. Matthews: I see. Can you tell me what happened when you wrote in SCP-2260 in that room? D-6795: I couldn't control myself. My hand picked up the p-p-pencil, and I wrote. The world…spun. I woke up in the same room, and the world…it just…it just… (D-6795 begins to sob) Dr. Matthews: Please…continue. D-6795: THE WORLD SCREAMED AT ME! IT SCREAMED AT ME TO WRITE! AND WRITE! I DID! I FOLLOWED YOUR INSTRUCTIONS! WHY DO YOU KEEP YELLING AT ME! (D-6795 begins hitting himself on the head repeatedly) Dr. Matthews: Stop the interview. < End Log > Addendum 2260-E: Other Experiments: Experiment on 3/4/1█: Entry was written on a loose-leaf paper and inserted into SCP-2260. No effect took place. Experiment on 5/17/1█: Entry was written in SCP-2260, and the page was immediately torn out. There was no change to SCP-2260's normal effects. Experiment on 6/14/1█: A page was torn out of SCP-2260, and the entry was written on the torn out page. No effect took place. Experiment on 6/23/1█: The entry was written, and immediately blacked out. Words in the entry burned through the ink, and were visible after 9 seconds. Experiment on 7/15/1█: The entry was written, and the page was carefully burned so as to not burn SCP-2260. Once the page was burned away, the entry appeared on the next page. Experiment on 8/7/1█: An entry was written without an event specified, and once subject became unconscious, a secondary subject wrote in an event. Secondary subject also fell into unconsciousness, and when subjects simultaneously awoke, they claimed to have seen each other at the location. Experiment on 8/13/1█: Based on the previous experiment, two subjects were dedicated to simultaneously write two different entries. Both subjects become unconscious, and woke up at the times specified in the entries. When the subjects woke up, they claimed the locations had merged, and residents of the location were "glitchy". Let's stick to one entry from now on. - Dr. Matthews

SCP-4837 is a European Mallard (Anas platyrhynchos) capable of accessing an extra-dimensional space.

*** Item #: SCP-4837 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4837 is kept in an avian observation deck at Site-64. In the event of a containment breach, recovery agents are to locate SCP-4837 and offer to engage in a trade in exchange for its return to containment. Description: SCP-4837 is a European Mallard (Anas platyrhynchos) capable of accessing an extra-dimensional space. SCP-4837 uses this space to store and retrieve objects for trading with human customers. Typically, it will initiate the trade by telepathically communicating with the desired customer, manifesting as a refined English accented voice using archaic speech. After it has received the desired item, it will move away from the exchange and conceal itself from possible witnesses, returning moments later with another item. Attempts to observe this process have been met with insistence from SCP-4837 that it cannot perform the action while in view. SCP-4837 has displayed a particular interest in electronics and relevant technology such as smartphones, cameras, televisions, and microwaves. This is in contrast to objects from SCP-4837, all of which have been dated to 600-1100 A.D.1 Although there are 74 items received by SCP-4837 currently cataloged, the exact quantity of its hoard is unknown. Interview Log 4837.1: The following interview was conducted with SCP-4837 three days after capture. SCP-4837 agreed to the interview in exchange for a Google Pixel smartphone. Interviewed: SCP-4837 Interviewer: Dr. Leland Hintze Foreword: Dr. Hintze was instructed to write down all responses from SCP-4837 during the interview. Improper grammar has been preserved for accuracy. Dr. Hintze: Can you tell me where exactly you create your goods? SCP-4837 is silent. Dr. Hintze: SCP-4837? I asked you a question. Where do you obtain your— SCP-4837: I shall not concede to thine questions! Thou shalt know only of the wrath of Espoderick! Behold and despair, jailer! Dr. Hintze: (sighs) I know you made an agreement with Dr. Mathias to consent to an interview, so I'm afraid that isn't going to work. Please answer the question, SCP-4837. SCP-4837: … A curse shall be laid upon Mathias for such treason. Very well, then. I hath a collection. A mighty collection. Dr. Hintze: Thank you. Now, where is the collection? SCP-4837: I will not show it to thee. I will not relinquish my riches to thee, worm! Dr. Hintze: I don't need to see it, I just need to— SCP-4837: Never! Doth thou comprehend?! Never! Dr. Hintze: Alright, alright. If you can't tell me where, can you tell me why? SCP-4837: Many years ago, I had great interest. Sharp swords, big bludgeons. Adventure. Power! Alas, the times have changed. No more is it an era of kings, and no longer are mine gains of worth. So, it must all go and I shalt keep up with the times. Dr. Hintze: If you want to give away all of your things, why not leave it all somewhere? SCP-4837: Thou does not know of ancient binds? How very simple. All scholars know that my kind is bound by ancient laws. Such things prevent me from leaving my wealth in another's hands. No, only trade will suffice. Dr. Hintze: How old are you? SCP-4837: Older than thou can comprehend, simpleton. SCP-4837 walks away from Dr. Hintze. Dr. Hintze: Just a moment, SCP-4837. We're not done here. SCP-4837: I hath no more will to answer questions. Leave me be. Dr. Hintze: Well, maybe I could encourage you to answer a few more… Dr. Hintze pulls out a pair of wireless headphones from his coat pocket. SCP-4837: … Thou wishes to trade? Dr. Hintze: Bluetooth headphones to extend our chat. SCP-4837: I permit one more question. Dr. Hintze: Four more. SCP-4837: Thine greed is one to rival my own, it seems… I permit two questions. Dr. Hintze: Deal. Dr. Hintze places the headphones on the ground. SCP-4837 picks them up in his beak and flings them around his neck. Dr. Hintze: Are you satisfied now, SCP-4837? SCP-4837: For this moment, I am. Thou may ask two more questions. Dr. Hintze: Perfect. So, if you don't know your own age, let's discuss your possessions. Is there a reason you collected things from this period? SCP-4837: 'Twas the age of adventure! Knights and vagabonds alike sought out my immense wealth, and I struck them all down! Their arms serve as my trophies in the wake of their death! … Alas, these spoils of war no longer bring me joy. Shame, really. Many squires are dead and I'm now bored of it. Dr. Hintze: Excuse me, but I fail to see how a man with a sword could lose to a duck. SCP-4837: Ah, thou would like to test thy might? Thou doth believe they are mightier than a "duck"? Dr. Hintze: … Not particularly. SCP-4837: A-ha! Thou realizes thine folly. Perhaps thou truly is a scholar after all. Dr. Hintze: More importantly, why are you bored with what you have? Some of these items have been appraised for a sizable amount. SCP-4837: Though my collection is grand, it has diminished in function. Those like myself have far more impressive treasures. I seek to overcome them. Many would weep at the sight of the Google Pixel! Dr. Hintze: You mean ducks? SCP-4837 is silent for a moment. SCP-4837: Heed this warning, scholar: Thou wilt call me "duck" no longer. Once I am free of this feathered form, once I am freed of this prison thine scholar's circle has trapped me within, both thou and that damned wizard will know my true strength. Footnotes 1. Commonly known as the Early Medieval Period

SCP-2178 is a large rock formation located in the Himalayas mountain range.

*** Item #: SCP-2178 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: Provisional Site-██ has been established at the base of SCP-2178 in order to provide housing and supplies for personnel assigned to SCP-2178. A circular security perimeter with a radius of three kilometers is to be established around SCP-2178 and regularly patrolled. Because of SCP-2178’s remote location, the possibility of civilians accidentally finding SCP-2178 is extremely unlikely; as such, individuals found attempting to breach SCP-2178’s security perimeter are to be detained as potential persons of interest. Description: SCP-2178 is a large rock formation located in the Himalayas mountain range. From base to peak, it is approximately 162 meters tall; the elevation at the peak of SCP-2178 is approximately 6.5 kilometers. SCP-2178 resembles a closed fist. A human head, designated SCP-2178-1, is affixed to the base of SCP-2178. SCP-2178-1 appears to belong to an adolescent woman of Han Chinese ancestry. SCP-2178 undergoes anomalous changes, creating environmental conditions impossible for its location, in a 360 day cycle. The cycle has five phases of 72 days each. In the first phase, SCP-2178 is covered in shrubbery, light forest, and grass. The temperature of SCP-2178 is approximately 15 degrees Celsius. In the second phase, all plant matter on SCP-2178 begins to dry; brush fires are common in this period. Temperature increases to approximately 30 degrees Celsius. In the third phase, all plant matter on SCP-2178 has been completely burned away; SCP-2178 exhibits minimal anomalous activity during this phase. Temperature is approximately 20 degrees Celsius. In the fourth phase, clouds moving from east to west continuously cover SCP-2178, greatly decreasing visibility. Temperature drops to approximately eight degrees Celsius. Expeditions to SCP-2178 during this time have revealed that it is covered in snow despite the temperature being above water's freezing point. Spontaneous magnetic fields pointing in random directions and ranging in magnitude from 50 to 700 microtesla appear in the area surrounding SCP-2178 during this time. In the fifth phase, temperature drops to negative three degrees Celsius. Despite the decrease in temperature below water's freezing point, the snow covering SCP-2178 melts, generating streams and rivers which pour down the sides of SCP-2178. The climate surrounding SCP-2178 is perpetually rainy during this period. Analysis of the water produced by SCP-2178 in this period shows that the water is unusually rich in silt and minerals. The flow of water across SCP-2178 enriches the soil, which gives rise to a rapid growth of vegetation, initiating the first phase and re-iterating the cycle. SCP-2178-1 is both alive and conscious. It suffers no injuries from its environment and has no need for food or drink. When SCP-2178-1 is questioned, it does not provide any information about its origins and is extremely disoriented. SCP-2178-1 is aware of its condition, but does not exhibit any signs of distress. It has proven impossible to dig into or otherwise damage SCP-2178, making retrieval of SCP-2178-1 impossible. Interview Log-2178-03 Interviewed: SCP-2178-1 Interviewer: Doctor James Zhang <Begin Log> Dr. Zhang: Can you tell me how you got here? SCP-2178-1: No. Dr. Zhang: What about your name, or where you came from? SCP-2178-1: …name? I don’t have a name, do I? Dr. Zhang: Can you tell me where you are right now? SCP-2178-1: This is a mountain. I am trapped inside it. Dr. Zhang: Uh, yes. Yes, that's right. The—the mountain seems to be impenetrable, so it seems like it’ll be some time before we can get to you, but— SCP-2178-1: Get to me? Why would you want to get to me? It is nice here. Dr. Zhang: Right. SCP-2178-1: I do not need a name. I do not need a place. Or a home. The universe is very big. It is very dynamic. For something small and permanent like me, there is no place in the universe to stay without being wiped away… Dr. Zhang: Can you please elaborate? SCP-2178-1: It is warm here. Who are you? <End Log> Addendum-2178A: On ██/██/20██, Provisional Site-██ personnel apprehended an individual attempting to breach SCP-2178’s perimeter. The individual was identified as Weidong Chen, a Taiwanese citizen. Chen is currently held at [REDACTED] as a Person of Interest. Further details regarding Chen are classified to Level 4/2178 personnel on a need-to-know basis. Immediately after participating in Chen’s arrest, Agent Barnes reported significant mental disorientation and dysphoria. Two days afterwards, Agent Barnes claimed to have new memories of an event in his past that he had not taken part in. Details of this event are classified Level 4/2178; there is convincing evidence that the event is strongly related to SCP-2178. Agent Barnes claims that his symptoms began immediately after directly handling a photograph on Chen’s person. The photograph was of Chen, a woman who appeared to be SCP-2178-1, and a third individual with a digitally obscured face. On the back of the picture, a note is written in Chinese. Translated into English, it reads: Once upon a time, an arrogant, crude, trickster decided that he could challenge Heaven. I wonder if you ever thought that things would come to this? Tomorrow, a foolish girl is going to try the same thing as the trickster. Don't worry. All this time, I've known that I am not strong or cunning. So this is insurance. R.W. can't kill me, but even if he is a coward, he has stomach enough to wipe me. Whatever happens tomorrow, this photograph will remember it all, and if need be, it will help me remember. If you ever need to use this, the Hand is finished. If you need to use this and you fail, this is also a good-bye. One day we’ll look back on this and think that somebody was just playing a trick on us all. The photograph has not displayed any anomalous properties since. + Level 4/2178 clearance required – hide block Document-2178-06 Foreword: Use of memory-enhancing paramedication allowed Agent Barnes to recall the anomalous event memory with increased precision. Agent Barnes reported that the event took place in a location resembling known descriptions of the Wanderer’s Library, known to be a base of operations for the Serpent’s Hand, a Group of Interest. The event largely consists of a conversation between a man, described as tall and pale-skinned, with Caucasian features, and a woman, whose face cannot be seen. Her voice is described as young, with a slight Mandarin accent. A transcript of Agent Barnes’ recollection of the conversation is provided below. <Begin Log> Woman: So you went ahead and did it. Man: Y—yeah. I did. Woman: And? Man: There are some things that we just have to do, aren’t there? Look, I don’t like this, I don’t like this at all, if it were up to me we’d never have to do this, and look, okay, I’m still not sure that it’s the right thing to do— Woman: Oh, come on. You weren’t sure? You’ve got to be kidding me. Man: I—please, I'm confiding this in you. Woman: What do I care what you think? You’ve already cast the die. What can you do to reverse your decision? Will you go to the Book-Burners1 and say, “Haha, just kidding, we’re not interested in getting with your program after all?” Man: I don’t know. Woman: And there’s nothing you can do to change what you’ve done to the Hand. Man I don’t know, all right! Even given what they've done to us, the Book-Burners are bound by the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. If we don’t interfere with the status quo, they will protect us as human beings. This was the right decision. I made the right choice. We can’t survive—can’t live on like this. You don’t know. You don’t understand. Woman: I don’t understand? I feel like I understand things pretty well. You did this out of cowardice. Man: You don’t understand what it’s like to have to fear stepping outside the library, because if you do then men in masks are going to shoot you, or worse, you’ll see someone in here and next time you step outside you’ll hear that they’re dead…you don’t understand what it’s like because you’ll challenge whoever you want. You don’t. You don’t know—or worse, worse, you step outside and you’ll see your family again, except they’re behind bars, in a cage forever, while their mind slowly breaks, and even if you find them again you’ll look them in the face and they won’t know who you are. That’s worse, isn’t it? Even the Book-Burners have their mercies if you compare them to the Jailers.2 Woman: You’re fear-mongering. We don’t compromise. Man: If we make concessions to them, they will protect us. Woman: Concessions? What will you do for those who won’t concede? The ones who will still fight? Or the ones who couldn't integrate even if they wanted to? Man: I…I don’t know. Woman: We stand for something. Everywhere else, people want to protect their precious consensus reality. Consensus reality. God, what a joke. So long as reality is decided by a majority, there will always be a minority that has no place in that reality. We are the refuge and the salvation from organizations like the Global Occult Coalition—it's another hilarious hypocrisy, a supposed coalition of the occult that uses the magic it likes to stamp out the magic it doesn't. Don't you remember? When they came for the outcast, we interceded. Or, rather, we did. Man: I— Woman: And what’s even worse is that you think they’ll keep their word! How laughable. D.C. Al Fine regularly threatens major members of the 108 if they do not toe Her Mightiness’ line. What happens to the Hand under the global reign of the Book-Burners? Even you, for all your lack of spine, have some interests. Your life and safety seem to take precedence. And one day, those things will be in the way of what they want. Man: So what’s your alternative, then? How will you keep us alive? Woman: Stay alive? Staying alive means fighting. It always has. I have no concrete answers, but let me tell you, I’m more than arrogant enough to say that I’ll accept no world where the alien is marginalized and hunted as a matter of routine under a banner of peace and justice. If heaven will not have you and if you have any pride as a human being, then the only option is to challenge heaven itself. To bring it crashing down. Man: We can’t do that! Woman: It's been done. I could do it again. Man: No. No, earlier, you were right. It doesn’t matter what you say. I made this decision, and I can’t undo it. We need protection. The jailers are never going to give that to us. But…but the book-burners…what the hell are you going to do about this? What are you going to do to me? Woman: What am I going to do? Man: We’re…we’re friends, right? You can’t just… Woman: Ah…your mistress. Bianca, right? She hated you. Man: What? Woman: She hated you for letting her brother die. I found her crying over one of his pictures one night, and she said that she would never forgive you for that. Man: How could you? How dare you? I—I’ll— At this point in time, Agent Barnes reports that several anomalous individuals gather behind the man. These individuals appear to lack mouths. All individuals appear to be holding lanterns in their left hands. Man: You’re lying to me. Provoking me to attack you, so that the Library makes me pay. Woman: Am I? Man: You’re not a God, or a hero, or a…a Great Sage Equal to Heaven, that stupid title…Don't you understand? It doesn't matter what your ancestor did. They write books and worship him, not you. You’re like me. You’re scared and weak, and you’re terrified that I’ll find out exactly how weak you are. What have you done? You almost brought down heaven? You never did that. He did. Woman: You're calling me weak? That's hilarious. Man: You know, if you want to disagree with me, maybe, maybe you should live through what I’m trying to prevent. Maybe if you want to act like you’re as big as your forefather, maybe you should live through what he went through. See…see? You really are his descendant. For his hubris, he was trapped under a mountain of the five elements. And I guess I'm the Buddha. The man whistles. A doorway appears in a bookshelf next to the man. Woman: A Way? How did you— Man: I'm doing you a service, all right? You'll find peace. I’m sorry. <End Log> Afterword: Agent Barnes is strongly convinced that the transcribed events are not his memories, and are instead the memories of the woman. Agent Barnes reports that, at various points in the memory, the woman's limbs can be seen as if from a first-person point of view. Before using paramedication, Agent Barnes had symptoms consistent with phantom limb syndrome in his lower back. After transcribing the interview, Agent Barnes claimed to have remembered having a monkey’s tail throughout the event. Later, his phantom limb symptoms disappeared. Footnotes 1. A term used by members of the Serpent’s Hand to refer to the Global Occult Coalition. 2. A term used by Serpent’s Hand members to refer to the Foundation.

SCP-4902 is a sapient King Owl brand refrigerator with a locking mechanism on its handle.

*** Item #: SCP-4902 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4902 is to be contained within a standard anomalous objects locker. Testing of SCP-4902 must be approved by one Level-3 personnel and overseen by one Level 2 personnel. Following Incident-4902-1, all statements made by SCP-4902 are to be presumed false. Description: SCP-4902 is a sapient King Owl brand refrigerator with a locking mechanism on its handle.1 SCP-4902 possesses the ability to manipulate magnetically charged objects placed on it, which it uses to communicate via the English alphabet; all attempts to use image-based magnets or languages with non-romanized letters, have thus far failed. Discovery: On 3/24/19, SCP-4902 was discovered at a family-owned furniture store, Bill's Best, following police reports of several messages spelled out with an alphabetic magnet set suggesting a child's body was hidden within SCP-4902. Review of the security footage showed the magnets moving across SCP-4902. The following day, Foundation agents arrived and amnesticized all workers involved before retrieving SCP-4902 and all footage involving it. Interveiw Log-4902-1: Interviewed: SCP-4902 Interviewer: Researcher Alces Foreword: The following interview was conducted the week after SCP-4902's retrieval. SCP-4902 was provided two sets of the English alphabet. <Begin Log> Researcher Alces: Hello there, SCP-4902, would you mind answering a few questions for me? SCP-4902: no Researcher Alces: How did you arrive at Bill's Best? SCP-4902: idk look in rec0rd Researcher Alces: Could you provide us any detail about your time prior to your recovery? SCP-4902: owned by hick Researcher Alces: Anything else? SCP-4902: hid body in me ad lock Researcher Alces: They hid a body in you? SCP-4902: yes Researcher Alces: Could you give any details about this person? SCP-4902: bloody mess kid Reasacher Alces: You don't appear to have any marks on you. SCP-4902: cleaned Reacher Alces: Alright, and why don't you smell of rot. SCP-4902: airtight and cold Researcher Alces: You've been off power for weeks. SCP-4902: airtight Researcher Alces: Okay? Are you aware of anyone who has a key? SCP-4902: hick man but he crazy Researcher Alces: Could you give us any clues as to where he lives? SCP-4902: idk bumfuck Researcher Alces: Is there anything at all that you can think of? SCP-4902: not really <End Log> Closing Statement: Following Interview-4902-1, investigation into how SCP-4902 can be opened is underway. Addendum: After several attempts to pick SCP-4902's lock, Foundation agents used a welder. Upon starting up the welder SCP-4902's lock clicked and its door opened up to reveal a single post-it note with the following message on it: Chill bro, it's just a prank. Footnotes 1. Typical models of this refrigerator do not carry a locking handle.

SCP-4169 is a chasm located in a remote area of Scotland, near █████.

*** Item #: SCP-4169 Threat Level: Green ● Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: At this time, SCP-4169 is contained in Site-56, which is currently set up under the guise of a petroleum processing company. Access to SCP-4169 is restricted to level 2 personnel and higher. MTF Echo-5 ("Sting Operation") are assigned to Site-56 to aid with containment. Any instances attempting to escape SCP-4169 are to be moved back into it on discovery. SCP-4169 is fed a live cow every 14 days to ensure that SCP-4169's fauna does not die out. If any of the cameras placed within SCP-4169 receive damage, repair drones are to be dispatched as soon as possible to make the necessary repairs. Description: SCP-4169 is a chasm located in a remote area of Scotland, near █████. SCP-4169 is 257m in length with a maximum depth of 70 metres. The oxygen level inside and around SCP-4169 is at the same atmospheric level of 35% as in the Carboniferous era. It is unknown how SCP-4169 is capable of retaining the air pressure and oxygen level inside itself. SCP-4169 was brought to the Foundation's attention after a report about the carbon dating from the region around SCP-4169 was found to be inconsistent with other accounts. A facility was built above the entrance of SCP-4169 to prevent any civilians from entering and exploring SCP-4169. SCP-4169's interior is small and dimly lit. The flora inside SCP-4169 is minimal due to the lack of sunlight that can enter the chasm. Previously undiscovered species of arthropods live within SCP-4169, those species are designated SCP-4169-1 through SCP-4169-6. How the colonies managed to survive from the Carboniferous era to the present is unknown. Researchers have theorized that the colonies are capable of hibernating for years at a time; this hibernation was most likely utilitized to survive harsh conditions. It has been noticed that the instances cannot live outside of SCP-4169 [see Incident 4169-3 for details]. The most notable and common species includes: SCP-4169-1 SCP-4169-2 SCP-4169-3 SCP-4169-4 SCP-4169-5 SCP-4169-6 SCP-4169-1: An abnormally large species of Weta which resembles Deinacrida heteracantha that grows up to a meter long. Instances have been encountered in a variety of different colorations, most commonly: yellow, brown and black. SCP-4169-1 has been observed swarming prey in immense numbers. SCP-4169-1 SCP-4169-2: Arthropods resembling what appears to be Arthropleura armata. However, unlike Arthropleura armata which was thought to be herbivorous, SCP-4169-2 instances are carnivorous. It's theorised that the SCP-4169-2 evolved to counter the lack of flora and the harsh living condition inside SCP-4169. SCP-4169-2 SCP-4169-3: SCP-4169-3 are large predatory hexapods ranging from one to two meters in height which locate themselves at the boundaries of SCP-4169. Instances have a tendency to remain on the edges of SCP-4169 to catch and consume almost anything that approaches their pincers, using their natural black color to blend in within SCP-4169. The SCP-4169-3 instances are the most abundant species to emerge from SCP-4169. SCP-4169-4: SCP-4169-4 are an unidentified species of predatory platyhelminth, lacking eyes or a face of any sort. Instances generally measure 2 to 4 meters long. SCP-4169-4 often scavenge but are perfectly capable of hunting a variety of different sized animals. SCP-4169-4 surround their prey, grabbing on to limbs, eventually consuming the victim whole. Instances of SCP-4169-4 have a symbiotic relationship with SCP-4169-3, the colonies of which use the SCP-4169-4 as hosts for hatching eggs1. SCP-4169-5: SCP-4169-5 are dark-colored galeodid sun spiders measuring 15 to 20 centimeters in height. SCP-4169-5 possesses paralytic venom capable of causing significant pain to a human adult and paralysis to smaller animals. SCP-4169-5 SCP-4169-6: An insectoid resembling a cricket with mostly cylindrical, somewhat vertically flattened bodies, measuring 1.5 to 3 meters. Instances of SCP-4169-6 possess an exoskeleton made of tough chitin and two pincers that has been observed to be used while hunting. Their overall coloration resembles moss. Incident 4169-3: On 29-10-201█, 5 SCP-4169-3 instances managed to break containment and begun wandering Site-56. During the roughly 2 hours when the instances escaped, four were found dead by Echo-5. The unit noticed that the last instance had trouble walking and standing up; instance was sedated and brought back in SCP-4169. One instance was kept for autopsy; the others were incinerated. Autopsy revealed the four SCP-4169-3 instances died of asphyxiation. SCP-4169 Camera Feed - 06/07/20██ 08:22: A cow was thrown into SCP-4169, multiple instances became aware of the cow and moved toward its position. 08:30: SCP-4169-5 are first to reach the cow and first paralyzed the cow before tearing off pieces of flesh, they were joined soon after by instances of SCP-4169-3, -2 and -4 whom fought over one of the legs before beginning to feed on the cow. 08:46: After the first instances finished eating, the SCP-4169-1 colony approached the carcass and began eating what was left. 09:05: Only bits of what the instances couldn't eat and bones are left, the SCP-4169-6 colony didn't partake in the feeding. 12:50: Fight broke out between several instances over territory, fight ended when an unidentified claw reached out of a hole to grab an instance of SCP-4169-2. 14:27: Instances of SCP-4169-3 seen scaling the walls of SCP-4169 towards the surface, instances seen descending soon afterwards after being pushed back by agents. 17:51: Several SCP-4169-6 attacked one of the surveillance cameras, repair drone sent in to restore the camera. 18:23: Communication with the drone was lost. Addendum SCP-4169: 25 minutes after losing communication, the drone returned to the surface. It appeared to have been crushed despite the fact that none of the known instances are strong enough to cause such damage. An investigation to locate previously undiscovered instances may be warranted.

SCP-5277 is a male humanoid known by the name of Joshua Maine.

*** Item#:5277 Clearance Level 2: Clearance Containment Class: keter Secondary Class: {$secondary-class} Disruption Class: #/dark Risk Class: #/notice Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5277 is uncontained, and is being constantly monitored remotely. Research is currently focused on the development of a containment method that bears no inherent flaws. Description: SCP-5277 is a male humanoid known by the name of Joshua Maine. SCP-5277 bears no abnormal physical traits, aside from slightly above-average height and mild cardiovascular issues. SCP-5277's anomalous traits manifest when any deliberate attempt at containing it is made. If the system by which SCP-5277 is contained bears any inherent possibility of failure, those weaknesses will be probabilistically exploited, allowing SCP-5277 to escape. SCP-5277 was discovered after it was arrested for an unarmed robbery of a grocery store. Law enforcement made multiple attempts to jail it, but it was able to escape due to highly improbable circumstances. After reports of SCP-5277's escapes had been filed, Foundation agents began investigating the possibility of a probabilistic anomaly, and eventually were able to fully determine its properties. Containment Attempt Log: The following is a list of attempts at containing SCP-5277. Containment Attempt 5277/1 Method: Transportation of SCP-5277 to a standard humanoid containment unit. Result: Failure. SCP-5277 violently panicked and attempted to flee when personnel initially encountered it, but it was successfully detained and placed in a transport. As the transportation vehicle was in itself a form of containment, SCP-5277's properties caused the vehicle's steering to lock, resulting in a crash. The surviving security camera showed that SCP-5277 initially entered a fetal position and started upon the vehicle crashing, before getting up and escaping a few minutes later. Notes: Due to the compounded risks in utilizing two methods of containment — the transport and the actual containment unit — further attempts will be focused on developing containment around SCP-5277. Containment Attempt 5277/2 Method: Deployment of a mobile task force to detain SCP-5277 within the hotel it is currently hiding in. Result: Failure. SCP-5277 was initially successfully detained within its room for three days. It spent most of this period questioning personnel and attempting to force information about its present state from them. Fifteen of the twenty-two agents sent to contain SCP-5277 eventually caught severe pneumonia, hindering their efficacy. SCP-5277 was able to narrowly escape past them. Notes: As this method relied almost entirely on a purely human element, SCP-5277 was able to exploit their susceptibility to biological attacks. One previously ill agent infected numerous others, allowing its escape. Notably, it seems that SCP-5277's effects only begin upon initial containment; it took multiple days for SCP-5277 to escape, on account of the time it took for a sufficient number of personnel to be infected. Containment Attempt 5277/3 Method: Assembly of a containment unit around SCP-5277. Result: Failure. SCP-5277 was able to be temporarily detained at gunpoint, causing it to display heightened anger and panic, but it did not attempt to physically resist. However, numerous unaccounted flaws in the equipment used to construct the cell resulted in massive damage and chaos, allowing for SCP-5277's escape. Notes: It is not entirely clear what actually constitutes "containment" in this case, although it is likely a combination of all of the factors present. One of the primary weaknesses here was our speed; it would take over an hour to assemble the unit, meaning that the present flaws could be easily exploited within that timeframe. The only possible method would be to assemble the perfect containment unit remotely, then somehow force SCP-5277 into it before the containment required to transport and detain it could be exploited. Containment Attempt 5277/4 Method: Development of a custom containment unit that could contain SCP-5277 by being launched at its location. The containment unit was placed on a Foundation satellite and equipped with propulsion units and an AIC to direct it. Upon activation, it would immediately propel itself towards SCP-5277, trapping it almost immediately. Result: Failure. The unit worked as expected, and as the containment unit itself bore no weaknesses, it could not be exploited. Personnel moved in to establish permanent occupation of the area. However, when SCP-5277 was observed, it was found it had suffered from a heart attack and died. Notes: SCP-5277 has been reclassified as Neutralized. rating: +51+–x + More by Calibold + - More by Calibold - Calibold's Mega Cool Author Page — SCP Articles — SCP-6469-D — A BABY????? SCP-2082 — Elephas cryophilus SCP-6156 — Oh, Doug! SCP-6579-D — The Detective Killer SCP-6900-D — The House of Stars SCP-5277 — What Can Go Wrong SCP-5363-D — Controlled Containment SCP-3482 — fine mayor posters campaign by dado SCP-5156 — monke Director Bold's Proposal-J — "Guys, please don't read our SCPs 🥺" SCP-2693 — Fell Into The Well, Fell Into The Well, Fell Into The Deep Dark Well SCP-5559-D — The Great Ambrose Bake-Off! SCP-3448-J — Should Have Taken Him Sleeping SCP-4456-D — No One Expects The Spanish Decommission! SCP-4745 — Spooky Scary Snowman SCP-4645 — Blackmailing Computer — Tales — Diary Of An Existential Kid Responsible Promotion Friends Of Us Never Die Truth Lies A Team You Can (Maybe) Trust Happy Father's Day Mission: Decommission A Bold Choice I Am Become Death Ulysses B. Donkman and the Heinous Hitman It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Eldritch (Sung to the tune of "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas") Chapter One - The End — GoI Formats — Manifest 476: Vanishing Galleon The Book Of Mathisi, Chapter 1: The Parable Of The Three Princes LTE-8686-Yellow-Kewpie UIU File: 2001-023 — Other — Mega Cool Customizable ACS Add-On Ver. 1.8.0 Guide Decommissioning Department Hub Fortune Favors Decommissioning Dept. Theme Mega Cool Customizable ACS Add-On Ver. 1.8.0 Mega Cool Author Page Tool Ver. 1.3.0 Calibold's Mega Cool Alternate SCP Logos Page Calibold's Mega Cool Art Page (It's Mostly Just Icons, But Whatever, It's Still Mega Cool) — Co-Authored — I, Hub (feat. many other authors) Resurrection: New Faces (feat. Grigori Karpin, Nagiros, and redredred) SCP-5545 — 𝙰 𝙱 𝙽 𝙾 𝚁 𝙼 𝙰 𝙻 𝙸 𝚃 𝚈 (feat. Yossipossi) SCP-194 — Thank You For Your Cooperation (feat. CityToast) — Foreign — Director Bold's Proposal — Language SCP-LA-II — Fruit

SCP-3920 is a phenomenon that generates a variable number of BL 9.

*** Item#: 3920 Level3 Containment Class: euclid Secondary Class: none Disruption Class: vlam Risk Class: caution link to memo An SCP-3920 induced lightning strike, as viewed by Observational Plane San-14. Special Containment Procedures: Subjects that experience or witness SCP-3920 are to be amnesticized and provided appropriate replacement memories. Cover stories regarding non-anomalous targets will be disseminated after SCP-3920 occurs. All artillery shells produced by SCP-3920 will be transferred to the nearest Armament Storage Facility or destroyed. Description: SCP-3920 is a phenomenon that generates a variable number of BL 9.2-inch howitzers (SCP-3920-A instances) in the Canadian Rockies. The following requirements must be met to initiate SCP-3920: A person (hereafter referred to as the "subject") must be over 3km from the nearest town or city One or more persons or entities (hereafter referred to as "targets") with the intent to harm the subject must be within a .5km vicinity of the subject The local time must be between 10:00 p.m. and 2:00 a.m. The following can increase the likelihood of SCP-3920's initiation: The subject is a Canadian citizen The subject is or was a member of the Canadian Armed Forces Multiple targets are present A cumulonimbus cloud is present near the subject SCP-3920 begins with lightning strikes occurring in the area around the subject, corresponding to the number of targets. An SCP-3920-A instance instantaneously manifests at the site of each strike. Each howitzer is operated by several luminous, translucent humanoid entities wearing Canadian World War I army uniforms (SCP-3920-B instances). The SCP-3920-B operate the howitzers and will fire shells at the targets with high precision until a shell has collided with each target, invariably resulting in their deaths. Detonation occurs if the subject is outside of each shell's blast radius. Non-detonated shells have a variation of the following message engraved on their surface: Greetings from 1st Brigade C.F.A.!1 When all targets are dead, lightning bolts will manifest and hit each SCP-3920-A instance, with the anomalies vanishing after. Although SCP-3920-B instances primarily focus on the operation of SCP-3920-A, limited interactions may occur with subjects. These interactions include salutes to the subject if they are current or former Canadian military personnel, waves, and thumbs up gestures. On one occasion a child subject was handed an Individual Meal Pack2 by an instance. Addendum: On 18-August-2018, Agent Flynn was dispatched on a mission to subdue PoI-1258 after the subject stole an anomalous object. At 1:40 a.m. the following day, Agent Flynn entered a confrontation with the subject at the edge of Lake O'Hara. PoI-1258 consumed Flynn's weaponry and was preparing to strangulate him when SCP-3920 was initiated. Two SCP-3920-A instances manifested in the vicinity of both subjects, each firing a shell that hit the other instance instead of the subjects. PoI-1258 swam into the lake at this point, presumably using the object to become camouflaged with their surroundings. The SCP-3920-B instances that had operated both howitzers convened near the location of Agent Flynn, appearing to enter a heated discussion while displaying signs of confusion. One instance then handed Flynn a slip of paper with the following text on it. Bit of a screwup [sic] here All instances subsequently demanifested after a single lightning strike. Footnotes 1. The 1st Brigade, C.F.A., an artillery unit used in the 1st Canadian Infantry Division during World War I. Several soldiers who served in the unit were reported missing after going on trips to areas around the Rocky Mountains. 2. A field ration used by the Canadian Armed Forces, introduced in 2005. How the rations were acquired is unknown.

SCP-2353 is a sapient, animate mannequin of 1.

*** Item #: SCP-2353 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2353 has been contained in a standard humanoid containment chamber and does not require any nutrition plan. All personnel in SCP-2353's presence are forbidden from wearing inappropriate garments, footwear and accessories. The list of inappropriate clothing is fully detailed in Document-2353 but includes the following: Foam clogs commonly known as Crocs White clothing, including laboratory coats, between the first Monday of September and the first day of Spring Any kind of flip-flop or sandal when worn with socks Denim shorts commonly known as jorts Additionally, SCP-2353 is allowed access to a sewing machine and a rolling allowance of 35 US dollars a month to purchase magazines, fabric and other equipment. Access to the sewing machine and allowance may be revoked as a disciplinary measure. Description: SCP-2353 is a sapient, animate mannequin of 1.6 meters in height and 2 kilograms in weight. It is composed of fiberglass with blue eyes, red lips, and light flesh tone painted on. It is capable of communicating in English, Spanish, Mandarin, Arabic, French and Russian in a woman's voice. As SCP-2353 is completely hollow, it is unknown how it is able to speak. SCP-2353 reacts in a hostile and uncooperative manner when presented with humans wearing inappropriate clothing detailed in Document-2353. When presented with such clothing or accessories, SCP-2353 will often turn its back to the human and request for phone privileges in order to contact the United Nations. SCP-2353 was found in a chain clothing department store attached to a mall. Video recordings of SCP-2353 contain evidence of SCP-2353 talking to itself while attempting to conceal or destroy articles of clothing it disapproved of. The Foundation was alerted on 10/10/15 when SCP-2353 stepped out of its display window and ran into the mall. The following is a video transcript of the event and initial interview after successful containment. Transcript 2353-01 - Enter Credentials Credentials Accepted - Welcome Agent ████████ [BEGIN LOG] <10:23> SCP-2353 is seen in a display window through a surveillance camera. Its head moves to the right without visible manipulation. <10:24> SCP-2353 can be heard speaking. An unknown male entity can be heard talking to it; possibly one of the other mannequins. Investigation is ongoing. SCP-2353: "Oh no, this is the last straw. I've been working at this Macy's for the past five years and this is the last fucking straw!" <10:24> Unknown male voice: "Dammit Stacy calm down, they just gotta learn on their own. How many times I gotta tell ya, it ain't worth our jobs… Stacy? Stacy plea-" <10:24> SCP-2353: "Don't you 'Stacy please' me! I'm not tolerating this anymore! The guy's wearing at least two sizes too small! That muffin top's more like a mushroom cloud!" SCP-2353 steps out of the display case and begins running towards a woman, accompanied by a man carrying bags of clothing. <10:25> SCP-2353 tackles the man and begins to try and remove his pants. SCP-2353: "With all due respect what is wrong with you?! Wear some proper sizes! No one wants to see squished sausage!" <10:25> Man: "What the fuck-" Man begins to struggle with SCP-2353. <10:26> SCP-2353 successfully removes the man's pants. SCP-2353: "Shut up! There's a perfectly good jeans sale going on at the Levi's like three stores down to your right! Buy one get one seventy-five percent off! Get those poor people to give you a proper resizing for once in your life. Your balls will thank you for it." <10:28> Woman: "Is this some sick fucking PR stunt? I didn't consent to this!" The woman physically assaults SCP-2353 with her purse. <10:30> SCP-2353 picks up one of the bags of clothing and physically assaults the woman with it. SCP-2353: "What the fuck is wrong with you, miss?! I saw you in the Crocs store last week! There wasn't even a sale going on! You have like, no excuse! Even that kind, poor fella cashiering the damn place was giving you a side-eye!" <10:35> SCP-2353 and the woman continue to argue. Plainclothed guards arrive to separate the two. The Foundation is alerted. <10:36> A guard has difficulty handcuffing SCP-2353 due to its lack of adequate range of arm movement. <10:40> SCP-2353 successfully escapes the grasp of the guard and flees downstairs. The guards pursue. <10:45> SCP-2353 stops to assault a woman's feet. SCP-2353: "Are you blind? What the hell kind of frumpy sandals are these? Zebra print?! There's a shoe store literally behind you!" <10:46> Woman: "Actually I am lega-" <10:46> SCP-2353: "Oh my god! I'm so sorry. Miss, I've got an employee card and plenty of money I never use. Come on, let's get you on a shopping spree during the one-day sale. Just because you can't see doesn't mean you can't look fierc-" <10:47> A plainclothed guard forcefully maneuvers SCP-2353 to the floor. SCP-2353 is taken to a holding cell for further containment by the Foundation. [END LOG] Interview Log 2353-01 - Enter Credentials Credentials Accepted - Welcome Agent ████████ Date: October 10, 2015 Interviewee: SCP-2353 Interviewer: Dr. Khumalo Notes: This interview was conducted 2 hours after the Foundation's acquisition of SCP-2353. [BEGIN LOG] Dr. Khumalo: Hello SCP-2353. I'd like to ask you a few questions, if you don't mind? SCP-2353: Oh my god! Ew! Ew! [SCP-2353 turns away from Dr. Khumalo] Dr. Khumalo: I'm sorry, is something the matter? Can I do something for you? SCP-2353: Yeah sure. I need a call to the UN to report a violation of the Geneva Conventions! White after Labor Day! My god, not even secret organizations are safe… [SCP-2353 refuses to communicate for the remainder of the interview.] [END LOG]

SCP-2152 is a marble, plinth-mounted bust of assumed Catalonian origin, depicting an unidentified female character wearing a headdress.

*** Item #: SCP-2152 Object Class: Euclid Revised Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2152 is to be contained within a soundproofed containment chamber at Reliquary Unit-05. Interaction with SCP-2152 warrants preliminary authorisation from the offsite Unit Deputy, who is to disclose the containment chamber entry code to any randomly-nominated guard selected from a stratified sample of the Unit security population, which is to be refreshed on a weekly basis. D-Class personnel are to enter SCP-2152's containment chamber unclothed. The nominated guard is to enter the disclosed code, direct the D-Class personnel into the containment chamber without personally entering the chamber themself, and close the door for automatic relocking. Upon closing the door, the entry code will automatically refresh. The nominated guard is to be thereafter designated E-Class personnel, and is to be regarded as such until the subject passes their follow-up monthly psychiatric examinations as per Document-REF621. The effects of SCP-2152 are to be observed from a standard observatory bay via a two-way mirror on the west wall of the containment chamber. D-Class personnel are to remain active within the containment chamber for no longer than ten minutes. D-Class personnel are to be terminated within this juncture via lethal auditory cognitohazard. Personnel are to be left within the chamber until the remains are fully dispelled under SCP-2152's anomalous effects. Description: SCP-2152 is a marble, plinth-mounted bust of assumed Catalonian origin, depicting an unidentified female character wearing a headdress. Prominent weathering upon the surface of the marble indicates that the item is antique; this has been speculated despite what appears to be a comparatively recent, separate addition of pink latex-based paint to the eyes. SCP-2152 generates two primary anomalous effects. Firstly, SCP-2152 emits a continuous, uninterrupted stream of popular music released between 1971 and 2000 from an unknown internal source.2 Music generated from within SCP-2152 generally includes synthpop, disco, smooth jazz, hip-hop, and Europop. At 10 minute intervals, an internally-generated female voice repeats the following message twice3: Prototype. Capitalism has triumphed, and this is a celebratory watermark. Now is the time. Begin your ascent unto preternatural luxury, and gaze into the heart of a prosperous future. You have all the time in the world. So sit back, relax, and absorb. Plunge yourself into the flourishing waters of New Earth, trademark. Deckchairs overlook island sunrises with your name on the horizon. Windows open to inexhaustible opportunity. Planes fly overhead. Congratulations. You are Home, trademark. Secondly, SCP-2152 applies several preservative effects to any space it occupies that can be defined as a 'room'. Previously observed anomalous effects include: Electrical power sources continuing to supply energy to devices indefinitely. Unlimited preservation of food and spontaneous remanifestation directly at the feet of any subject that consumes it. Preservation of items of clothing, with damaged items provided with spontaneous repair. Dematerialisation of dead biological material. Automatic maintenance of personal hygiene; examples include the lack of bacteria attracted to sweat molecules; spontaneous fluoride manifestation within the oral cavity, tooth-whitening, and immediate tooth-straightening with no resultant physical pain; increased reaction rates in human intermediary metabolisms; continuous moisturisation of the skin; and increased secretion of extracellular molecules (ECM) within all compatible bodily cells. Excluding the above effects, SCP-2152 additionally induces an improved subjective perception of beauty in humans, especially in regards to architecture, contemporary art, and nature. This effect is extreme, with past subjects expressing immoderate vocal enthusiasm regarding the design of containment chambers in which they were situated. Addendum restricted to selected personnel -- submit personal credentials [__________________________________] Addendum restricted to selected personnel -- submit personal credentials [ssempiternalIdiot909skipO5spcenterdDuck] ... ... ... ... valid I've temporarily attached this annotation to the database archive to document an important incident involving this skip. As the immediate anomalous effects of SCP-2152 are still being explored and are not fully known, it is of the utmost importance that we analyse and attempt to determine the nature of what happened yesterday. Before I continue, this written text is expunged to those with subordinate clearance; don't panic if you've stumbled across this and know nothing about what just happened. If you're reading this now, you're relevant and share responsibility with those involved. Yesterday, the east wall of SCP-2152's containment chamber transmuted into what appeared to be an undulating translucent material. As you are aware, the room situated on the opposite side of the east wall is the central thermoregulatory chamber for the entire site; this is not what we thought we saw behind the translucent image. In terms of our reactions, there was initial panic, then guesswork. We were at first uncertain as to what we were looking at, but the research team had a general idea based on the proportions and positions of the shapes and colours behind the translucence. The ideas conflicted, but they all pointed towards the same idea. The wall stayed in this state of strange pellucidity for roughly twenty minutes. Then, without warning and to our surprise, the wall "switched" from translucence to crystalline transparency, physically turning the wall into a window. What we saw confirmed our speculation. It was very obviously an early-morning cliffside sunrise. We were absolutely dumbfounded. Firstly, we didn't actually know how or why the matter had reconstituted itself into the window in the first place, nevermind the scene beyond. It had 'shifted' in a fashion similar to that of switchable smart glass that the Foundation uses for observing hostile skips undergoing testing, or the kind you'd find in hospitals or nightclubs for privacy. As for the landscape, I couldn't describe it at the time without using the words 'beautiful' or 'staggering'. It was unnaturally bright, as if the image itself had been enhanced through the glass. I have yet to ask others, but I personally felt a monstrous, unconvincing sense of achievement when watching this dawn. There were these distant seabirds drifting over the ripples that seemed to bleed into the horizon, and through my mind, I could hear the repeated phrase, "this is my reward". Personally, I couldn't control that thought. It kept coming back to me, forcing itself upon me. It felt like home. It was unsatisfactory, forced, but it was home. I was getting all of these feelings while in the observatory bay. I wasn't even in the containment chamber. Even after that fifteen minutes of bliss, even after the east wall reformed to its original plaster-paint makeup, all I wanted to do was furnish the area with beanbags and trawl through social media on my phone or something. Shortly after the big reveal, my associates took the liberty of photographing the scene. They then ran them through the Foundation's locator softwares, attempting to identify the location presented so suddenly before us, assuming that it was a real-world location. It was not. I realised then that the ocean looked false. It seemed to always ripple forward, into the distance, as if stuck on some kind of loop. I've included a small portion of the photograph for the time being. It has been verified as perfectly safe for viewing, and has had no emotional effect on me whatsoever. In fact, when I think about it, I don't even think it looks anything like what I saw yesterday. AFPC00241702.jpg We'll be discussing this event at daily recapitulation meetings that begin next week, to which you have an obligation to attend. The most recent revision within the containment procedures cannot be stressed enough. No-one enters the chamber but disposable personnel. I am convinced that anyone, if they were in there with SCP-2152, could've opened that window if they wanted to. Director T.K. Hussein, Reliquary Unit-05 Footnotes 1. Document 62: Post-Exposure Hazards & Psychological Care 2. Enquiries as to the possibility of perforating SCP-2152 so as to determine its contents and the nature of this source have been denied due to the speculative nature of its effects as a Euclid-class object. 3. Background music from this recording has been electronically removed for comprehension.

SCP-4809 is a series of cognitohazardous images of unclear origin which induce an immediate neurological reaction when viewed.

*** SCP-4809 rating: +43+–x Special Containment Procedures: Foundation webcrawler I/O–PRUDENCE has been tasked with finding and neutralizing any further instances of SCP-4809 and tagging all IP addresses that access any instances of SCP-4809 for further action. Existing instances of SCP-4809 are only accessible indirectly via models and renders generated by I/O-PRUDENCE. Foundation Medical Observation Unit (MOU) 279 has been retrofitted with another 400 beds to deal with current and future SCP-4809 victims. At time of writing, 174 of those beds are filled. Given the unclear pathophysiology of SCP-4809's effects, attempts to develop countermeasures and effective treatment have not yet been forthcoming. As such, all victims of SCP-4809 are to be treated according to standard Foundation Medical Protocol 716.574.1 SCP-4809 victims declared braindead are to be repurposed for other Foundation experiments per Ethics Committee ruling 45.387. Attempts to reinitiate communication with suspected sources of SCP-4809 (see Addenda) are underway, and will focus primarily on a greater understanding of SCP-4809 so as to attempt reversal. Families of SCP-4809 victims are to be administered amnestics and given a cover story regarding the death of their loved ones in a biological waste accident. Per communications with suspected sources of SCP-4809 (see Addendum 4809.02), each family is to receive payment for damages in the form of $19.2 million USD.2 Per current understanding of SCP-4809, this does not appear to have been a specific anomaly generated by the named celebrity in the original post. As such, further surveillance of said celebrity and future celebrities who may be targeted is no longer required. Additionally, given the self-limited nature of SCP-4809's effects and lack of further dissemination of the files, no further information suppression actions at this time are required. The original post containing the link to SCP-4809. Description: SCP-4809 is a series of cognitohazardous images of unclear origin which induce an immediate neurological reaction when viewed. This reaction is primarily coma, but some patients have immediately entered into a vegetative state, a state of brain death, or prolonged and invariably fatal status epilepticus3 refractory to treatment. Analysis by I/O-PRUDENCE and other constructs provided by the Cognitohazards Study Group indicates that SCP-4809 is a series of representations of a human female in various poses, composed of fractal imagery and impossible geometric structures and theorized to be a higher-dimensional representation of celebrity actress Scarlett Johannson. SCP-4809 first appeared on the social media website Reddit on 04/01/2021 as a link within a post on the r/pics subreddit (see prior photo). I/O-PRUDENCE registered the anomalous content within several minutes and immediately disabled link access, but the link had already been accessed by 243 IP addresses. As agents deployed to assess and quarantine the affected IP address owners, a trace of the IP address having made the post, followed up with GPS triangulation, indicated the signal had originated at a point approximately 3.2 kilometers above Naples, Florida. A second trace was attempted and unable to lock onto any signal. No further instances of SCP-4809 have been noted to date. Addendum 4809.01: Communication Related to SCP-4809 — Received 04/04/2021 On 04/04/2021, Head SCP-4809 Researcher Eltiaz received an email from a burner account: To: pcs.noitadnuof|zaitle.i#pcs.noitadnuof|zaitle.i From: moc.yawaworht|emwonktnoduoy#moc.yawaworht|emwonktnoduoy Subject: I MESSED UP OMG I AM SO SORRY. I think my [unintelligible]4 was set a dimension too low and I picked the wrong file to upload and it's all just wrong. I'll do my best to fix it! just give me a few of your days and maybe I can whip something up… — [unintelligible]5 Addendum 4809.02: Communication Related to SCP-4809 — Received 04/05/2021 On 04/05/2021, Dr. Eltiaz received another email from an untraceable account. The body of this email read as follows: To: pcs.noitadnuof|zaitle.i#pcs.noitadnuof|zaitle.i From: pcs.noitadnuof|zaitle.i#pcs.noitadnuof|zaitle.i Subject: Our Sincerest Apologies To whom this may concern: We apologize deeply for the recent aberration that has resulted in injury to your people. Rest assured the perpetrator has been disciplined and his recycling date has been accelerated. An account has been made available in order to pay reparations to the affected humans (please see account information attached). Per our legal code, please pay each family an amount equivalent to the lifetime worth of a citizen of your wealthiest political body. Thank you for your cooperation in this matter, and please convey our sincerest apologies to the affected. — [unintelligible]6 Footnotes 1. "Protocol for the Treatment of Vegetative State secondary to Cognitohazards of Unknown Origin, with Unclear Reversibility". 2. Approximate lifetime value of a Qatari citizen. 3. Operationally defined as greater than 5 minutes of continuous seizures, or two or more seizures with incomplete recovery of consciousness between seizure events. 4. This was rendered as an alphanumeric string 7,485 characters long. Presumably meant to represent a communications device. Presumed to be unintentional — possibly a failure of a translation software. 5. An alphanumeric string 57,194 characters long. 6. An alphanumeric string 34,192 characters long.

SCP-1222 is a bamboo box, decorated with beads and shells, and measuring 7 x 10 x 10cm.

*** Item #: SCP-1222 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1222 is to be locked in a 60 x 60 x 60 cm hard plastic container with foam inner-lining to hold it in place. Container can be found inside locker ██ in the storage area of Site-4. If container is damaged in any way, contact administration for replacement. Personnel with Level 1 clearance or higher may access the object for research purposes. If not used for testing, linseed oil must be rubbed into SCP-1222 for preservation purposes once annually. Linseed oil must also be used after all research tests. Description: SCP-1222 is a bamboo box, decorated with beads and shells, and measuring 7 x 10 x 10 cm. A lid is attached and held together by a woven thread made of palm fronds. Any human who touches the box with both hands and gazes at its bottom will instantly enter a state of stasis, in which they cannot be repositioned or harmed by any means known to the Foundation; any human in this condition is to be classified as SCP-1222-1. This stasis will continue until SCP-1222-1 is touched by the skin of a live human. SCP-1222-1 has no vital signs (respiration, blood pressure, brain activity), and can remain in this condition indefinitely. Removing SCP-1222 from SCP-1222-1's hands, or blocking it from SCP-1222-1's view, does not affect the stasis. However, only one instance of SCP-1222-1 exists at a time; attempts to successively or simultaneously create multiple instances of SCP-1222-1 have failed. Examination of SCP-1222-1 through latex gloves has revealed that SCP-1222-1's flesh is hard and unyielding; researchers have described the flesh as being "like stone or metal". SCP-1222-1's clothing is unaffected by the stasis and can be damaged normally; however, hair becomes intensely tough and durable. + TEST LOG 1222-1 – hide block TEST: SCP-1222-T12 PROCEDURE: SCP-1222-1's head struck with metal rod 32 times. RESULT: No damage to SCP-1222-1; rod became warped and dented. TEST: SCP-1222-T14 PROCEDURE: Fired at with a .38 Special revolver RESULT: The bullet compressed against SCP-1222-1's right earlobe. SCP-1222-1 fell over. TEST: SCP-1222-T22 PROCEDURE: Fired at with an AR-10 rifle using 7.62x51 NATO rounds RESULT: The bullet shattered against SCP-1222-1's right shoulder. SCP-1222-1 fell over. TEST: SCP-1222-T30 PROCEDURE: Swiped at with 30cm kitchen knife RESULT: Knife bounced off. TEST: SCP-1222-T31 PROCEDURE: Stabbed with 30cm kitchen knife RESULT: Knife broke. TEST: SCP-1222-T50 PROCEDURE: Fluoroantimonic acid poured onto SCP-1222-1's back RESULT: Acid seeped off of the subject and into the glass container beneath. TEST: SCP-1222-T53 PROCEDURE: Partially submerged in Fluoroantimonic acid RESULT: Subject was asked to hold SCP-1222 above the head while entering stasis. Subject was lowered into a glass container two meters tall with one meter filled with fluoroantimonic acid. Test was conducted with safety measure to ensure no damage to SCP-1222 would occur. After two weeks of no reported changes, subject was removed, cleaned, and reawakened. Subject subsequently died due to accumulation of acid in pores of skin and lower cavities. TEST: SCP-1222-T63 PROCEDURE: Petrol ignited RESULT: A small quantity of petrol was poured over the subjects lower back and set alight. The area became scorched black with residue but no visible damage was shown. NOTE No further tests involving substances that could harm the box will be used unless under strict supervision of a safety team and class 3 personnel. This is only to prevent damage to the box and is not a personal attack on any researcher. TEST: SCP-1222-T68 PROCEDURE: A slap RESULT: Both a gloved and ungloved slap were given to the test subject. The gloved slap had no effect and managed to topple over the test subject. The ungloved slapped immediately awoke the test subject, who shrieked in surprise. When D-class personnel was asked to describe the feeling of slapping, he replied “like putting your hand through paper and immediately hitting flesh”. + RECOVERY LOG – hide block SCP-1222 was found in ██████████, a village of Nias Island located off the coast from the Sumatra region of Indonesia on November 18, 1984. A rescue team dispatched in the area discovered a dug out chamber beneath debris of a destroyed home. In the middle of the chamber was a Caucasian woman kneeling on the floor with the item in her hands. Report Excerpt ██-██-1984 We were relieved at first to find a survivor under all the rubble. A single mother had lived there with two children and an infant, and all four had perished when their home fell. A neighbour had reported that the mother was always talking about a disabled cousin she also cared for, and was worried for the cousin’s safety. After inspecting and moving the rubble, we found a hole in the corner of where the sleeping area would have been. The hole went down two meters before turning toward an entrance of a small chamber. The man who volunteered to go down called out that he had found a woman in prayer and that she was in shock. He then went to pick her up and take her out when the woman started screaming. When he emerged with her she was thrashing about and speaking in a language we didn’t recognise. She was without a scratch on her body, but her clothes were old and falling apart and a thick layer of dust covered all parts. The woman calmed down after we constrained her and was sent to an emergency medical centre set up nearby. Light amnestics were given to all members of the rescue team after receiving the report. The subject’s name is ████ ██████, born 4 June 18██. Agents acquired her at the emergency medical centre where she was transported to Site-4. The only item with her was SCP-1222. Subject spoke fluent Dutch that was standard for the 1800’s. When questioned about SCP-1222 she went into detail about finding it in a village not far from where she was found, after her father had [DATA EXPUNGED] retrieved it from the ashes. Subject was commissioned to D-Class personnel at Site-3. Addendum: Future tests are scheduled for use of radiation, destructive bacteria, nano-machines, and SCPs ████, ████, ████, ████, ████, ████ and ████. Various Keter class SCPs were also considered but decided against due to possibility of the damage or destruction of SCP-1222.

SCP-1001 is a single plant apparently belonging to an undescribed species of Welwitschia.

*** Item #: SCP-1001 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1001 is to be kept at Bio Site-103, in a greenhouse reinforced as per Dangerous Organisms Protocol 12A. It is to remain rooted in the soil core, 9 m diameter x 4 m deep, in which it was removed from the site of discovery. It is to be watered and fertilized sporadically, as detailed in Document 1001-2. No object capable of producing hazardous sound (sonic weaponry, audio-based memetic effects, high-decibel infrasound, etc.) is permitted within hearing distance of Bio Site-103. The object is to be fed 20 kg of Nutritional Supplement 1001-R-8 once monthly. The precise formula for Nutritional Supplement 1001-R-8 is detailed in Document 1001-2, but it bears repeating that the supplement’s protein content is not to be less than 40% by mass, and that all protein is to derive from pigs, dogs, or comparably-intelligent species. These guidelines may be altered as necessary when testing requires that SCP-1001 be hungry. Bones, horns, and other hard tissues are never to be provided except as part of duly-supervised tests. All tests involving provision of hard tissue are to be preapproved by both Dr. Glastonbury and the current Security Director of Site-103. Description: SCP-1001 is a single plant apparently belonging to an undescribed species of Welwitschia. Unlike other Welwitschia species, it has a tree-like trunk which broadens into a woody taproot 180 cm wide and 5 m long, 2 m of which protrudes above the surface. Also unique to SCP-1001 are its leaves, which are up to 6 m long, lined with barbed prickles, and capable of secreting a sticky pitch-like resin, and which are capable of motion with considerable dexterity and strength. SCP-1001 is geographically disjunct from its known relatives, having been found in the Andean high desert near ██████, Peru. SCP-1001’s trunk and taproot are hollow, opening to a rounded aperture at its apex, and filled with a highly caustic solution of hydrochloric acid and digestive enzymes comparable to those found in the pitchers of Nepenthes spp. This solution is capable of reducing 50 kg of soft animal tissue to a thin slurry within 20 minutes of submersion. While it is capable of photosynthesis, SCP-1001’s leaves are singularly inefficient, producing only approximately 50% of the plant’s caloric requirements. Likewise, its roots are unusually ineffective at uptake of organic and mineral nutrients. To mitigate this deficiency, SCP-1001 is an obligate carnivore: it uses its prehensile leaves to capture passing prey and pull it into the central cavity, where it is digested. SCP-1001’s intelligence is highly debatable. Its basic hunting tactics resemble those of Paralichthys spp. (flounders): it buries its longest leaves in the sand and waits for a sufficiently large animal (at least 40 kg) to pass by, whereupon it emerges suddenly and captures the passing prey. When this tactic does not produce results sufficiently quickly, however, SCP-1001 resorts to sophisticated audio mimicry. It is capable of reproducing literally any sound it has ever been exposed to, as well as recombining “known” sounds into novel phrases. It has been observed using the latter capacity to lure human prey, speaking in the voices of other humans known to the prey subject. Its means of sound production are unknown. Also interesting are SCP-1001’s prey preferences: it prefers to consume intelligent animals, especially those capable of tool use or of building artificial structures. Humans are always its preferred prey, but in their absence it has accepted primates, dogs, parrots, pigs, beavers, ants, and nest-building birds. Note that many of these species fall well below its usual size threshold, some to such a degree that capturing and digesting them produces a net energy loss. Its method of detecting intelligence is unknown but apparently not based on experience, since it has attacked squid and small dolphins with eagerness comparable to its attacks on humans and Andean monkeys. SCP-1001 is incapable of digesting hard tissues completely: the bones of its prey are gradually excreted through channels near the top edges of the caudex. Once excreted, these bones are invariably picked up with one of the object’s leaves and moved to a location on or beneath the soil surface surrounding SCP-1001. The object arranges the bones in complex patterns which are demonstrably useless for water capture and, being primarily subterranean, do not aid in attracting prey. Their resemblance to the ███ █████ █████ Nazca [DATA REDACTED] and the devotional mandalas of SCP-[DATA REDACTED] have led Dr. Glastonbury to hypothesize that they may be representational or even [DATA REDACTED] anomalous effects. At the time of its discovery by the SCP Foundation in 18██, SCP-1001 was located at the center of a roughly-circular bone pattern 18 m in diameter and 8 m deep, █7% of which was composed of human bone. Nearby native tribes professed religious fear of the object and were providing it with regular human sacrifices. The sacrificial ritual, as finally divulged to Foundation interrogators, required attendant priests to escort the sacrifice toward SCP-1001 along a strictly-delineated “avenue” later found to correspond closely to certain features of the subterranean bone pattern. Deviations from the pattern were said to be punished by capture and consumption of the attendants as well as the sacrifice, but a successful ritual resulted in only one person being taken. In rare cases, a priest would be directed to move a particular bone to positions just outside the object's reach; correct placement would be rewarded either with an unspecified gift or a longer reprieve before the next required sacrifice. Oral histories state the ritual to have been originally demanded by the tree itself, [DATA REDACTED] “spoke in the voice of our [DATA REDACTED].

SCP-1384 is a sapient entity with a variable appearance.

*** Item #: SCP-1384 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: The original entrance to the tunnel containing SCP-1384 is sealed with concrete to prevent civilian access. A new shaft has been dug under the pretense of a public works project. The tunnel must be accessed and SCP-1384 interacted with at least once a week by personnel familiar with Document 1384-1. All interaction must be recorded and studied afterward by Foundation analysis teams. Personnel are forbidden to ask for or offer anything to SCP-1384 outside of cleared testing procedures. This includes seemingly innocuous or abstract things such as "the time," or one's name. Please see Incident 1384-2. Description: SCP-1384 is a sapient entity with a variable appearance. It typically appears as a human or human-shaped construct ranging from 1.5 to 2 meters in height. It has also appeared at other times to be made of materials ranging from porcelain to bone to white plastic. Its changes in form take place instantaneously. SCP-1384 was found inside a tunnel sixty meters under a church in Durness, Scotland. The tunnel is approximately sixteen kilometers long by three meters across, and constructed of a single piece of marble, with three-meter thick walls and ceiling. Notably, true marble is not naturally occuring in the British Isles. The method and date in which the tunnel was constructed are unknown, but artifacts found inside date at least to the 12th century. The floor is tiled with colored squares in white, yellow, black, blue and orange. Each square is 50 centimeters across. Artifacts in the cave include carved stones, chalk, weapons, a chess board, and numerous chess pieces, checker pieces, and carved wooden soldiers. As of 14/03/2011, SCP-1384 is 1.2 kilometers from the entrance of the tunnel, on an orange square. It is unable to move from this square unless certain circumstances are met (See Document 1384-1). SCP-1384 is able to alter reality, though apparently only in response to certain stimuli. It claims to be under certain rules that govern its abilities and behavior, but refuses to divulge those rules. It is otherwise cooperative and genial, though it seems to prefer some people to others. For reasons unknown, it prefers researchers to agents. All attempts to force SCP-1384 to move from the square it occupies or to injure it have had no effect. The squares can be damaged, but return to an undamaged condition as soon as SCP-1384 moves to a new square. Its ultimate goal is to reach the entrance of the hallway and leave. It is aware that the Foundation seeks to contain it, and is therefore unwilling to tell researchers the rules it operates under. SCP-1384 was discovered after the death of Father █████ ████████, vicar of Durness. His successor discovered a shaft leading to the entrance of the tunnel containing SCP-1384. He contacted his superiors in the church, who ultimately contacted the Foundation through the Fisher Protocols. Incident Report 1384-2 Dr. Houck had the following exchange with SCP-1384: Dr. Houck: "What's your name?" SCP-1384: "Ah, well, there's a trouble there. You couldn't say it. Couldn't even really hear it, not to have it spoken rightly. Say, can you give me your name?" Dr. Houck: "Certainly. Dr. Houck." SCP-1384: "Ah, and thanks for that." Shortly after this exchange, everyone who entered the hallway became aware that the entity was named Dr. Houck. The original researcher was no longer able to respond to that name, and people who knew him were temporarily unable to think of him by that name. The entity expressed a degree of regret, but would not relinquish the name, citing its rules. Several days later, the situation was resolved by the simple expedient of Dr. Ho saying to the researcher, "I name you Doctor Houck." The effect on Dr. Houck was no longer evident, though the entity is still "known" by that name by those who enter the hallway. Interview Log 1384-1 Dr. Ho: "What are you?" SCP-1384: "Ah, I couldn't tell you that, Jimmy. I don't think, on the one hand it'd tell you too much, but it'd be more than you know. The less you know, the better my position." Dr. Ho: "Why is it better?" SCP-1384: "You're like the old man. I can see it right off. Want to keep me in this old hallway, just as he did. And didn't he do better than his predecessors? No, I gave him too much of a hint, and look where it got me. I'm actually two steps behind where he found me. Not a gambit I'll let you try." Dr. Ho: "Why don't you just walk out?" SCP-1384: "Well, that's the rules, you know. If I could just walk right out, I'd have done it a year and an age ago. But without rules, well, where would we be? Wouldn't know where any of us were, not really." Dr. Ho: "It doesn't seem fair if we don't know the rules." SCP-1384: "Not my fault either. Look, I have to scrape up every advantage I can." Dr. Ho: "Who trapped you here?" SCP-1384: "It was my own side, actually. Got me out of a tighter spot than this, if you can credit it. Sometimes you have to play the sacrifice, you know." Dr. Ho: "Why are you telling me this?" SCP-1384: "You're just a pawn, really, and I'm a big softie at heart. Besides, while I'll get out eventually if you lot leave, I'm willing to bet you won't be as clever as the old man. You can try to keep me here, but I think you'll get me out even sooner. Call it our little game."

SCP-4879 is a soapstone sculpture of a polar bear, 0.

*** Item #: SCP-4879 Object Class: Safe SCP-4879 upon recovery. Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4879 is contained within a lead-lined box in a standard storage locker. Only D-Class personnel are to handle the object outside of its storage, and contact with SCP-4879 by staff is punishable by reassignment or termination of employment status. Description: SCP-4879 is a soapstone sculpture of a polar bear, 0.40 metres in length and weighing 10.2 kilograms. SCP-4879 bears a large stylistic carving of an 'AX' on its right hindquarter. Subjects within a ten-meter radius of SCP-4879 will lose their proficiency for a specific area of expertise, seemingly determined by how highly they held the particular talent. Subjects of SCP-4879's effect report symptoms such as loss of appetite, headaches, and general confusion that abate in three to five hours. While subjects can still recite technical knowledge related to their expertise, they will be utterly incapable of practice above what would be deemed a beginner's work. As of 2019/11/15, all subjects exposed to SCP-4879 have been unable to regain any lost proficiency. Discovery: SCP-4879 was recovered from the Vancouver Art Gallery in British Columbia, Canada after an open exhibition night, resulting in twenty-three artists losing their various artistic skills. Due to unintentional misinformation on the nature of the anomaly, four members of MTF Eta-10 ("See No Evil") were affected and lost various combat skills, requiring them to be placed on indefinite leave. Security cameras showed an Asian male (designated POI-4879) in his approximate late twenties had submitted SCP-4879 to the exhibition, paying the entrance fee in cash. Staff reported he had later called and apologized for being unable to attend the event due to a stomach flu. Testing Logs Subject: D-5923 Expertise: Watercolour painting Action: D-5923 was provided with his preferred painting equipment and instructed to paint SCP-4879. Observation: D-5923 struggled to paint the object, performing sloppily. D-5923 expressed anger and threw the easel across the room halfway through testing, refusing to continue despite orders. Subject: D-3954 Expertise: Video games Action: D-3954 was told to play a game of Super Smash Bros. Melee and fight a computer-controlled opponent on a level 3 difficulty. Observation: D-3954 was unable to win a game against the opponent, falling off the stage and forgetting moves for his character on several occasions. D-3954 appeared confused, suggesting that the game had been modified to account for his losses. Note: Subject had been escorting a D-Class carrying SCP-4879 back to storage when he had tripped after a fire alarm had been pulled, resulting in its lead-lined box breaking and exposing SCP-4879 to the subject. Subject: Doctor William Alekseeva Expertise: Anomaly containment procedures Action: Alekseeva was given the descriptions for three new anomalies, and told to draft provisional containment procedures for the objects. Observation: Provisional containment procedures were found to be completely insufficient at containing the various anomalies' effects. Subject: D-5432 Expertise: Piano Action: D-5432 was instructed to play her favourite song, Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. Observation: While D-5432 was able to remember the notes, she was unable to play the song without making numerous mistakes. Addendum-4879: On 2019/11/09, MTF Pi-1 ("City Slickers") was investigating an unrelated anomalous exhibit at an art gallery in Edmonton, Alberta, and arrested several anartists, including POI-4879. Interviewed: POI-4879 (Alex Nguyen) Interviewer: Dr Alekseeva <Begin Log> POI-4879: Should've guessed you guys would come after me eventually. It's what you do, right? Lock up weird things. Alekseeva: So you've heard of us, good. That makes things easier. I wanted to ask you a few questions about your artwork. Specifically, the bear sculpture you entered into the exhibition night a few weeks ago. Tell me about it. POI-4879: Alright, uh… You ever hear of this group called "Are We Cool Yet?" They're some weird artist collective, mostly down in the states. They make a lot of things like this. Alekseeva: Yes, we're familiar with them. Are you a member? POI-4879: No, thank god. I knew a few guys who were part of it, but holy shit they're pretentious as fuck. Just because they can make a painting that makes people want to claw their eyes out, or a sculpture that turns you into a lunatic, they think they're better than you, and they wave it in your face. Alekseeva: I don't see what this has to do with your art- ah. You intended it as a weapon against them. POI-4879 laughs. POI-4879: Hell yeah I did. Stuck it under a table, watched the fireworks. They were running around like idiots, crying that they couldn't do their stupid anomalous watercolouring or drawing or whatever they do. Alekseeva: And this effect is permanent? There's no method of reversing it? POI-4879: Yeah, they're stuck like that. They tried to kill me for that, but they can't really do much when all their talent's gone. Just gave up. I think some of them ended up killing themselves, but I didn't really keep track. Alekseeva: I… see. And the art gallery? What did they do to upset you there? POI-4879: Did you see all the stuff there? Half of it was that stupid found art bullshit. Seriously, who came up with that? "Oh hey, I'm gonna throw my garbage on a table, tie it together with string and pretend its art." In the same goddamn building where they have four Emily Carr paintings, no less. You people should be thanking me, it's basically a public service. Alekseeva: We amnesticized twenty-three artists that night. They'll never be able to practice their artistic talents again, you know that? We've had to reassign them new identities, because it'd be suspicious if they suddenly lost all their abilities. POI-4879: Talentless hacks that can't string together garbage anymore. Cry me a river. We done here? Alekseeva: One or two more things. Why a bear? POI-4879: First thing that came to mind. That's all we're known for, right? Polar bears and politeness, for some stupid reason, as if they've never been downtown. Alekseeva: I see. And how did you acquire your immunity to the object? POI-4879: What? Alekseeva: You said that you had been in contact with it multiple times, which would've made you susceptible to its abilities. Is it a case of creator immunity, or…? POI-4879: Oh, I'm not immune. It's the last thing I ever made. I suppose that's fitting, depending on how you look at it. Alekseeva: And you knew this would occur? You did this willingly? POI-4879: Course I did. I knew I could never sculpt again, but it was worth the cost. If those worthless pieces of shit can't destroy art anymore than they already have, then I'm the happiest ex-artist in the world. <End Log>

SCP-5276 is a vinyl copy of the album Silent Secrets by Youthful Galaxy, a rapper with connections to several anartists and a prominent member of the Fifthist hip hop scene.

*** Item #: SCP-5276 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5276 is to be stored in a secure storage locker located in Site-44. The Foundation will maintain a cover story that the item is currently in the possession of an unknown millionaire from Long Island. All testing of SCP-5276 should be conducted in a soundproof room and no personnel should enter the vicinity of the test for a period of at least 42 minutes. Description: SCP-5276 is a vinyl copy of the album Silent Secrets by Youthful Galaxy, a rapper with connections to several anartists and a prominent member of the Fifthist hip hop scene. SCP-5276 was released as the sole copy of the album. It was purchased by the Foundation after it caused an anomalous incident at a Marshall, Carter, and Dark event in New York City. The album is approximately 70 minutes in length and has been described as "lo fi hip hop" by listeners, consistent with Youthful Galaxy's other releases. Unlike previous albums by the artist which normally contain over a dozen relatively short tracks, Silent Secrets contains 6 songs of varying lengths. The longest song being just under 36 minutes long and the shortest just over 2 minutes. Subjects who listen to the vinyl experience a state of strong emotions and weakened inhibitions, in addition to a strong compulsion to socialize with other listeners. Participants take turns sharing insecurities, weaknesses, and problems they have experienced and make immediate and major decisions to deal with these issues. The other participants in all cases react by applauding the behavior, regardless of the action or their previous relationship with the individual. The album's anomalous effects only occur when the original vinyl is played to an audience. Youthful Galaxy has released a single from the album, allegedly with "the permission of the owner" with no anomalous effects noted in listeners. The Foundation has decided to allow the single's release to create the façade that the album has no anomalous properties, as the album's release was well publicized, having been covered by several independent music publications. The Foundation has produced several copies of the album, including digital copies. None of these copies display any anomalous properties. Attached is a report from a Foundation employee present at the album's debut, noting the effects on the crowd gathered at the event as well as the agent herself. SCP-5276 Incident Report 07/25/2020 Report authored by Field Agent McKenzie Rúnda This is a report of an incident that occurred during a Marshall, Carter, and Dark event that I was assigned to attend to observe for anomalous activity, with permission to use Foundation funds to obtain the copy of Youthful Galaxy's album if it proved to have anomalous properties. As you will see within this report, it most definitely displayed anomalous properties. The event began in a similar manner to several other Marshall, Carter, and Dark events I've attended incognito which is to say that it was mostly just a bunch of extremely rich people socializing and buying expensive anomalies. Mostly instruments and music collector's items with minor anomalous effects, the stuff we'd log as a minor anomalous item and toss into one of the mass storage units. Nothing that we'd waste Foundation money on. I greet the attendees. More actors, painters, animators, and musicians than your usual MC&D affair, but you've got the usual crowd of stockbrokers, CEOs, and hedge fund managers too. I introduce myself with my typical cover story, an early cryptocurrency investor. There's a bunch of alcohol and drugs being sold at the bar, employees flirting with clients, and your usual scummy state of circumstances that every one of these "parties" contains. I was expecting a rather uneventful night watching high class hedonism. Youthful Galaxy shows up and he's not quite the sight I expected but he's definitely still the kind of musician you'd think would make a splash with rich hipsters. No tattoos on his face or insanely expensive watches but he has pink highlights in otherwise jet black hair, cheap sunglasses, a Suspiria t-shirt and a pair of acid washed jeans. He comes out with a light blue vinyl and speaks to the crowd about some common American political wedge issues, pretty typical stuff. Then he pivots hard over to Fifthism, how there's a better world out in space and that he's seen it. That he wants to bring more people out there with him, and that he wants to bring a lot of "space love" to earth because we need it to fight back against the corruption that's "everywhere". He says this album will "allow you to experience space love for yourselves". He gets some mild applause and then he walks over to put the record into the sound system. That's when things start to change, and we all got swept into it. The opening notes of the first song kicks in and immediately everyone, myself included, sits down in a circle. Everyone just sort of nods along to the music for the first song and then the second song comes in and everyone starts introducing themselves to each other. They give a name and a few fun facts about themselves. I was able to keep my composure a little bit, didn't compromise my real name, but I did name drop my favorite convention and prattle on for a minute about how I sometimes do some karaoke on the weekends. Everyone, even the MC&D employees who try to keep some sort of air of elitism around them, is sitting on the floor and waving to everyone. Marine, a MC&D event hostess who I've met probably hundreds of times has taken her hair out of a ponytail and is smoking cannabis in front of everyone which is not at all in character for her when she's out on the floor. I've never seen Marine act that way on company time before. Billionaires start taking off their ties and loosening their dress shirts. Models start using their purses as pillows. By the time we get through everyone's introduction we're already starting the third song. The third song was very long, and this is where everyone started to act very erratic, myself included. One by one people would stand up, run into the center of the circle and declare something about themselves. They always shared something deep and personal, and then made an immediate change in their behavior after sharing it. A rock musician of some renown came into the center of the circle first. He said he had cleaned up his act on pressure from his label and his doctor, but he was stressed beyond belief and he wasn't living the lifestyle that brought him his fame and fortune in the first place. He was drinking less, partying less, and all to live maybe a decade longer than he would otherwise. He then immediately opened a bottle of vodka and chugged from it for a solid 10 seconds. Everyone clapped and cheered him on for a few seconds and immediately turned their attention elsewhere. A political consultant said he was tired of keeping his personal life separate from his work life, that his work place was full of attractive and intelligent men and that he ought to have a chance with. He then told everyone he was going to make a phone call to a coworker that he had feelings for. We all clapped. A model popped up and talked about how she hated her husband, hated most people in her life, and she's tired trying to deal with them and how she's just going to run off to Paris and leave everyone else behind. She started purchasing her plane tickets right then and there. Everyone clapped, including her husband. Then Marine took to the center of the circle. She bemoaned her life that she never stood up for herself and never lived life on her terms. She hated living in the city, she hated wearing fancy dress clothes, and she even hated her name Marine. She wanted to go by a different name, but she road the path of least resistance her entire life and ended up never having a good chance to reinvent herself. She then ripped off all of her clothes, tossed them into a pile, and used a lighter to set them on fire, she took out a tube of lipstick and wrote the name "Tina" from shoulder to shoulder and screamed out "My new nametag!". We all clapped. Then came my turn. I thought for sure I'd blurt out something about being undercover but I didn't. It wasn't my biggest secret that I blurted out. It was my most personal one. The one that was the most difficult for me to tell other people. The one I was afraid of saying the most. Without mentioning it by name, I said I had a career that required me to have a firm grip on my emotions. How I had suffered a bunch of personal tragedies. The loss of a pet, a falling out with a long time friend, and a family member's diagnosis with a terminal disease. All of those happened in a two month period and at no point did I cry. At no point did I process all that pain. I fell to the floor, bawling my eyes out and shaking. Everyone around me clapped. It just kept happening so quickly. Person after person would jump up and admit something deep and painful. A few people admitted to affairs and made breakup calls to their spouses. One person admitted to drinking too much, and immediately smashed the glass in his hand and vowed to quit right then and there. An actor admitted to resenting the film he was currently working on and used a letter opener to begin cutting off the beard he had grown for the part. By the end of the song over half an hour later, everyone had very publicly worked through something while everyone clapped. I stayed there sobbing on the floor only to quickly pop up and clap for someone when they made a hasty decision. Then I'd go right back to sobbing until it was time to clap again. The man who quit drinking just kept smashing bottles he found behind the bar. Marine kept writing Tina all over her naked body. The political consultant must have sent a hundred texts to his coworker and called him two dozen times, but he wasn't picking up. Everyone took their turn overindulging in a quick and cheap answer to their sorrows. The the third song ended over thirty minutes later and a fourth song kicked on. It was long by most standards, but it felt short after such a long and painful event that preceded it. Everyone stood up and gathered in a circle again. One by one a person would take a walk around the circle and give a hug to everyone else in attendance. Having hugged everyone there twice, I can say they all felt sincere and emotional. Some people would pat others on the head or kiss them on the cheek. I received compliments on my emotional strength and assurances that I could make it through the tough times. Everyone seemed sympathetic to my plight, and I felt sympathetic to their pains as well. The song slowly sank into a buzzing noise and the next track swept in. The fifth song came in and everyone began to clean up the mess we had made. Someone helped me clean off the makeup that I had cried through. A few sat around a toilet and held the rock musician's hair back as he puked his guts out. I fished a set of clean clothes out of my briefcase and helped Marine get dressed after we both washed the lipstick off of her with a sink and a lot of paper towels. The fifth song ended abruptly and the final track began. The final track was rather short, just long enough for everyone to stand up again and return to the exact spot they had been standing in before the music started to play. The song faded out and everyone suddenly just processed what they had done that night. Most people left in a hurry. Some people were frantically apologizing to other attendees. A few others just sat back down on the ground and rested their face into their hands. Youthful Galaxy, who had sat completely unfazed the whole time and watched the events unfold, asked if there were any bids for the record. I was the only one to raise my hand. As the receipts show, I purchased the record for $10,000 which was his initial offer. Personal note: Please send any questions you have about the anomaly as soon as possible. As with all field agents exposed to a mind altering anomaly, I will be attending my mandatory psych meetings over the next two months. Once those are over, I'd very much like to never talk about this night again. « Away From This Place | Let's Vibe »

SCP-3808 is a bacon cheeseburger located at 44°85'██"N, -98°22'██"W, 1.

*** Item #: SCP-3808 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3808 is kept on-location, placed on a pedestal under a glass bell jar. One guard must be present at all times to ensure that visitors do not take photographs of SCP-3808, as well as to answer questions posed by visitors. Visitors who take issue with SCP-3808's situation should be dismissed, by force if necessary. Personnel who recommend changes to these containment procedures or Cover Story 3808-Gamma should submit proposals in writing to SCP-3808's containment liaison in a sealed envelope with no markings other than their Employee ID Number. Description: SCP-3808 is a bacon cheeseburger located at 44°85'██"N, -98°22'██"W, 1.33 meters above the ground. All components of SCP-3808 will rapidly return to their default state and location relative to each other if altered in any fashion. While SCP-3808 can be moved, it is subject to a force in the direction of its resting point proportional to its distance from the resting point. An unaided human cannot move SCP-3808 more than two meters from its resting point; heavy machinery is capable of moving SCP-3808 up to four meters away. SCP-3808 is a visual cognitohazard. Subjects who view SCP-3808 or any insufficiently altered image of it become preoccupied by SCP-3808's congruence, or lack thereof, with its immediate surroundings. Subjects will attempt to rectify any perceived discrepancy such that they are satisfied that it is sensible for a bacon cheeseburger to occupy SCP-3808's position. For example, if SCP-3808 is suspended midair, subjects will either hold it in place or put some sort of supporting structure underneath it. After rectifying any immediately obvious violations of physics, subjects will typically take issue with SCP-3808's location in a forest with no man-made structures in the immediate vicinity. Different subjects have different priorities and perspectives on this matter, though most will agree that SCP-3808 should be located in some sort of restaurant that sells (among other things) bacon cheeseburgers. Multiple attempts to establish such a restaurant have been stymied by an inability among those responsible to agree on the exact parameters of this restaurant. Persons who are unable to adjust SCP-3808's setting to their satisfaction will generally direct their efforts towards identifying the history and causal mechanism for SCP-3808 in an attempt to integrate SCP-3808's existence into their worldview. Various subjects affected this way have attempted to publish scientific treatises with little to no merit that describe laws of physics that would permit SCP-3808's existence. Exposure to substantial information about SCP-3808 has the same effect as visual exposure, albeit at a greatly reduced rate. Personnel responsible for overseeing and studying SCP-3808 have refused to implement common-sense containment procedures that minimize public access to SCP-3808, stating that it would be nonsensical for a bacon cheeseburger to be hidden in a forest and monitored remotely. Containment Procedures for SCP-3808 consequentially underwent fifteen major revisions after initial implementation, increasing both Foundation and civilian exposure to SCP-3808 above acceptable levels. All symptoms of SCP-3808 exposure can be eliminated via amnestic treatment. On 2015-04-10, Chinese artist Ai Weiwei was contracted as a containment consultant for SCP-3808. Current containment procedures were implemented to his specifications such that SCP-3808 could be interpreted as artistic commentary on the ubiquity of fast food culture and the incorporation of 'natural' areas into modern capitalism. While some personnel were skeptical of the piece's artistic merit and/or the validity of its message, most of those personnel conceded the existence of art installations that they disagreed with and were satisfied by containment procedures. Personnel who objected were then amnesticized. + Enter Special Access Code - Access Granted Dr. Bergeron, You were right to ask for a consult on this completely hypothetical question. If an anomaly with the memetic properties you described were to exist (as you have repeatedly assured me it does not), you would need two teams of agents under double-blackbox orders — they receive no information on the SCP, and personnel cleared to know about the SCP know nothing about the other teams. The first team would, in this scenario, be a honeypot for personnel trying to alter containment procedures. Set up a "containment liaison" for personnel to contact, making sure (of course) that said liaison sees no information other than personnel names. The liaison forwards this information to an independent task force, which tracks down the affected personnel and administers a pre-formulated amnestic regimen. The second team would handle civilians exposed to the anomaly. Station them somewhere all exposed civilians will pass through (at multiple points if necessary) and tell them to do a standard computer-and-cranium info wipe on everyone who passes through that isn't a guard. CogHaz teams are trained for this sort of thing, so you don't need to worry about accidental exposure. Naturally, none of this goes in the official SCP file. The totally hypothetical one, of course. Contact me if you have any further questions, Dr. Graff

SCP-4542 is a man-made, anomalous species of insect belonging to the suborder Caelifera which share key genetic attributes with the European rabbit (Oryctolagus cuniculus).

*** Item#: 4542 Level2 Containment Class: keter Secondary Class: none Disruption Class: keneq Risk Class: warning link to memo An instance of SCP-4542 Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4542 specimens are contained communally within Insectoid Containment Chamber 7 at Site-71 Parazoology Division. A monthly termination of 90% of the contained SCP-4542 population has been approved to ease containment requirements. MTF Victor-17 ("Nature Boys") is to investigate potential sightings of SCP-4542 and terminate discovered instances through direct application of a specialized bendiocarb concentrate. For infestations that have reached an unmanageable size, this chemical will be applied via crop duster. Description: SCP-4542 is a man-made, anomalous species of insect belonging to the suborder Caelifera which share key genetic attributes with the European rabbit (Oryctolagus cuniculus). SCP-4542 is capable of consuming up to 20 grams of vegetation daily despite weighing only 3 grams. This body mass to food intake ratio is biologically impossible for a member of the Caelifera suborder. Testing has proven inconclusive in explaining this disparity in food intake and the weight required for it. SCP-4542 eggs reach maturity within 24-hours, 300 times faster than the reproductive rate of other members of the Caelifera suborder. This reproductive cycle repeats every eight days. The average lifespan of SCP-4542 is 10 years, with the oldest recorded instance living 13 years before expiring from natural causes. SCP-4542's lifespan directly correlates with the average lifespan of the European rabbit and is theorized to be caused by the presence of the rabbit's DNA. Discovery: SCP-4542 was discovered on 06/02/1995, when news stories surfaced that the vegetation surrounding the town of Richmond, Kentucky, was devoured by a swarm of unknown insects. After Foundation Agents resolved the situation, the citizens of Yorkshire were administered amnestics. Agents discovered the source of the SCP-4542 swarm originated from the ruins of a burned down house in Richmond, Kentucky. Records indicate the residence belonged to Craig Larson: a self-described amateur entomologist. Further investigation led to the discovery of a rental unit owned by Mr. Larson and used for the storage of SCP-4542 instances. Addendum: Recovered information Below is a set of recovered notes discovered in a notebook which belonged to Mr. Craig Larson. 03/16/1995 Bella came over today. I showed her the new grasshopper I've added to my collection, but apparently it has scary eyes. So that’s about ten bugs she still doesn’t like. Of course her mother's job as an executive chef is cool. But ol' dad just works at home on the computer and plays with his grubby insects. 03/20/1995 She still thinks my hobby is "icky". Ever since the divorce she's been quiet with me, I just want daddy's little girl back…we used to be so close. I've got to find a way. Bella's friend just got a pet bunny. She thinks those are cute. 03/27/1995 Had a crazy idea today; a grasshopper-rabbit hybrid. It's cute, and an insect. Bella would love it. But that's obviously ridiculous. Wait till the guys at the Bug Barn hear this idea, at least they'll get a laugh. 03/28/1995 When I brought up my "bugs-bunny" to the guys, John said that he knew a guy that works on similar projects on the regular. Gave me his number. I guess it won't hurt to try I have to give it a try. For Bella. 04/02/1995 Talked to that guy on the phone, I didn't understand what he was going on about but he said he would ship me what I needed. Was a good price, too. I didn't understand the science behind it, he said I didn't have to; the instructions were in the box. I hope this works out, Bella said she didn't want to come over this weekend. All of our friends sided with her mother and now Bella is too… I don't know how much more I can take. 04/07/1995 The package finally came, with how crazy this all is I was starting to think it wouldn't come at all. The instructions seem simple enough, I've acquired the rabbit and everything else I need is already here. I told Bella I was doing a secret experiment just for her, she seemed really excited, but I can never tell. I just really hope I can pull this off. 04/09/1995 Everything is all set up, it was pretty simple. Too simple. I am starting to have my doubts. Instructions say it will take a week, so we'll see. I really don't want to disappoint Bella, I know she thinks the divorce was my fault. I can't let her down again. 04/16/1995 It WORKED! I checked on them yesterday morning and there were 2 of the little critters in the machine. They're growing faster than I thought they would, that must mean it was a success. They eat a lot, but they seem perfectly healthy. I have to keep it a secret for now but I really think I'm onto something here. Bella is coming next week, I really hope she likes them. 04/22/1995 SUCCESS! Bella came today and I think she actually liked her surprise. I can't believe this worked. Bella said she wants to come back next week. I can't believe I pulled this off! 04/28/1995 The "Bug-Bunnies" laid eggs! There's at least a couple thousand eggs in the enclosure. Wait till Bella sees them tomorrow. If testing goes well during the next few weeks, I'll give her one for her birthday. She's gonna think I'm the coolest dad. 04/29/1995 They have already hatched. When Bella and I came in this morning the enclosure was packed with them. I don't understand how they could grow so fast. Bella was excited to see them all, but I'm a tad worried. I don't know how I'll feed them all, or keep them a secret. I'll have to move everything to my storage unit. No one will find them there. I don't care how, but I have to make this work. Fuck fuck FUCK! I can't believe I'm so stupid. I dropped the crate of bugs-bunnies while I was bringing them around to storage. Half of them flew off, they could be anywhere. I have to find them, the others are already laying eggs. 05/08/1995 I can't believe this is happening. They're everywhere. I saw two different swarms off the highway, a swath of barren land behind them. What have I done? Bella is asking about her bunnies. I don't know what to tell her, she's gonna hate me. 05/09/1995 The news said they've already eaten half the town, I'm so fucked. I can't stay here anymore, I'll burn the house down, they'll think I'm dead. I'll take Bella with me and I'll run. Looks like military people started showing up in town today so I'm leaving the country probably for good. The house is gone, my life is over, I cant let my stupid selfish jealousy ruin Bella's life too. I'm leaving these notes in this storage unit, when you find these, please tell my daughter Bella that I love her and I'm sorry. The inspection of Mr. Larson's storage unit found an infestation numbering close to 80,000. 50 of these were captured with the remaining instances being terminated. All attempts to locate Mr. Larson have proven unsuccessful. An investigation into the origin of the technology purchased by Mr. Larson is currently ongoing.

SCP-1025 is a hardcover book, approximately 1,500 pages long.

*** Item #: SCP-1025 Object Class: Keter Safe Special Containment Procedures: Due to its potential as a bioweapon capable of destroying all life on Earth, SCP-1025 is to be kept in an isolated underground vault secured by no fewer than 10 armed guards, to be rotated twice weekly and checked for compromise by infectious agents. The vault should be armed with a thermite mine to be detonated at the first sign of containment breach. Revision: SCP-1025 is to be kept in a passcode-secured locker. Further research requires O5 approval. Description: SCP-1025 is a hardcover book, approximately 1,500 pages long. The front cover and spine feature the title "The Encyclopedia of Common Diseases." The publisher's page indicates the book was printed in 19██ by █████ Press. No other copies of a book with that title and publisher have been found, and no record of the publisher exists. Readers of the book seem to exhibit symptoms of any disease they read about. The effect can take between █ and ██ hours to manifest. (See Test Log) Addendum 1025-01: Test Log Subjects: D-1025-01 Test: Subject read entry entitled "Common Cold." Subject observed for several hours afterward. Results: Subject exhibited cough within 2 hours, and when asked, claimed to feel "slightly achey," though he attributed this to uncomfortable sleeping arrangements. Subjects: D-1025-02 Test: Subject read entry entitled "Chicken Pox." Subject observed for several hours. Results: Over the course of one hour, subject observed to scratch at no fewer than 5 points on her body repeatedly. Subject's medical history indicated she had contracted chicken pox at age 8. Possible evidence that item can override natural immunities noted. Subjects: D-1025-03 Test: Subject read entry entitled "Cancer of the Lungs." Subject observed for several hours. Test was to determine item's ability to accelerate advancement of illnesses. Result: Subject observed to cough 4 10 6 a significant number of times over the course of █ hours within a relatively small amount of time. Subject denied feeling any discomfort, but observation of subject's breathing indicated irregularities. Subject terminated and sent for autopsy. No tumors apparent. Note: We clearly didn't wait long enough. But we all heard the coughs, and his wheezing. Subjects: D-1025-04 Test: Previous test repeated, but subject observed for 7 days. Results: A lot of coughing and wheezing, far beyond what should be considered normal. Subject terminated and sent for autopsy. No tumors apparent. Note: What if the illness vanishes after death, making infection all the more insidious? Subjects: D-1025-05 Test: Same as previous. Results: Same as previous, but subject sent for vivisection, utilizing [DATA EXPUNGED] hours before expiring from shock. No tumors apparent. Note: We have to keep trying. Imagine if this were an infectious agent. Imagine if there were more books like this out there. [Redundant tests redacted for brevity. In summary, each test used one D-class subject, who read one entry from the item, and was then tested or vivisected in search of signs of infection following reported symptoms. After test 15, research was moved to a dedicated isolated facility in ████, ██, staffed by 3 researchers and 2 security. One D-class subject delivered as needed to minimize space and ration needs.] Subjects: D-1025-27 Test: Subject read entry entitled "Appendicitis." Subject had undergone an appendectomy at age 16. Observed for 3 days. Results: After 52 hours, subject complained of stomach ache significant abdominal discomfort. Vivisection performed. No appendix found, but area where appendix would normally be looked a few shades more red than it should be, by general consensus of research staff. Subjects: D-1025-28 (formerly Researcher ████ ██████) Test: Subject had developed persistent cough, despite never reading SCP-1025, and was placed in observation for one week. Results: None apparent for 6 days. At 0930 hours on day 7, subject appeared slightly taller than the day previous. Noted as evidence that item's anomalous properties can cause generation of diseases other than those researched by the victim, and without direct viewing of reading material. Vivisection considered, but overruled for the time being. Note: ████ got out! The crazy bastard got out somehow! We were so stupid! The addition of height is a classical symptom of SCP-016 adapting to the stress of being confined in that room. Who knows or cares what he was coming down with first? There was a grating on the ceiling. A few more feet of height, and a few inches skinnier, and he'd easily fit. He could be up there right now, growing claws and vomiting infected blood everywhere and taking who knows what other dormant diseases with him. SCP-008? SCP-742? Oh, God, what if he's come down with SCP-217? Addendum 1025-02: A recovery team was sent to the facility on █/█/██ after no contact was made from the facility for 72 hours. Agents found Researchers █████ ████ and ███ ████ sealed in the observation booth, both wearing biological containment suits. Nearly all stored air tanks were depleted. Agent █████ ███ was found crawling through the facility's air ducts with sidearm drawn. Researcher ████ ██████ had locked himself in the barracks with an improvised flamethrower made of aerosol cleaner and a box of matches. Later interview indicated ██████ had not climbed into ducts, but simply used his passcode to leave the observation chamber while other researchers were distracted. Agent ███████ █████ was found dead in a supply closet locked from inside, with several empty bottles of water and ration packages. The door had been given an airtight seal with garbage bags and duct tape. Note: After careful review of all research on SCP-1025, I'm ordering an immediate evaluation of whoever approved the use of 27 D-Class subjects, an isolated facility, and a dedicated underground bunker on this money pit. Not one out-of-the-ordinary infectious agent was found anyplace this item was tested. And every involved staff member had passed a basic psych exam within the previous year. I have no idea how far up the chain of command this "hypochondria by proxy" effect can reach, or how it works, and frankly, I see no benefit in learning. Stick it in a box, lock it up, and for God's sake, try not to worry about it. -O5-█

SCP-1283 is a 1930's era home radio, with manufacturing labels that indicate it was made by the ████████ company.

*** Item #: SCP-1283 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1283 is to be contained in a soundproof storage locker, tuned to a frequency free of broadcasts, with volume on its lowest setting. It is to be checked daily for damage or irregular activity by staff equipped with sound-dampening headphones. In the event that SCP-1283 activates and SCP-1283-1 begins speaking, the nearest Level 3 staff is to be notified immediately, and whoever is determined to have triggered SCP-1283-1 is advised to ignore all vocalizations and remove themselves from the area immediately. In a testing situation, participating researchers are required to wear sound-dampening headphones for the first five (5) minutes of the test, to ensure that only the intended test subject will trigger SCP-1283-1. In the event that personnel other than intended test subjects begin to focus on SCP-1283, they are to be restrained and sedated immediately. Description: SCP-1283 is a 1930's era home radio, with manufacturing labels that indicate it was made by the ████████ company. The object shows very little damage or wear despite its age. Despite the object's obsolete parts, it has shown to be capable of receiving signals and playing with a consistently high quality of sound, with very little noise or interference. Additionally, SCP-1283 is capable of functioning even when switched off, without any apparent source of power. Inspection of the internal mechanisms of the object reveal parts consistent with other radios of identical make and model. SCP-1283's anomalous effects become apparent when a person, hereafter referred to as the subject, listens to it for more than fifteen (15) minutes, regardless of what frequency the radio is tuned to. When said amount of time has passed, anything playing on the radio at that time will become silent, and a voice, hereafter referred to as SCP-1283-1, will address the subject by name. Invariably, the voice utilized by SCP-1283-1 belongs to someone known to the subject. Testing has observed SCP-1283-1 belonging to close friends, parents, spouses, authority figures, and on one occasion, a news anchor from the ██████ Network. On occasion, the voice used by SCP-1283-1 has been that of a deceased person. Interviews suggest that the voice chosen by SCP-1283-1 belongs to whomever the subject considers to be the most trustworthy. Attempting to manipulate the frequency, volume, or AM-FM settings of the radio after SCP-1283-1 has begun speaking produces no results. After SCP-1283-1 has gained the subject's attention, it instructs them to listen carefully. At this stage the subject will begin to focus exclusively on SCP-1283, and will resist attempts to distract them from it. SCP-1283-1 will then provide the subject with information regarding an upcoming event. All information provided by SCP-1283-1 to a subject will be referred to as SCP-1283-2. SCP-1283-2 occurs in three individual phases, each prefaced by a distinct phrase that has been present across all testing. The three phases appear to have nothing connecting them, and only currently affected subjects display any awareness of meaning. Description of SCP-1283-2: The first phase is prefaced with the question "Do you remember" and involves SCP-1283-1 prompting the subject to remember a specific person, object or event. This phase, like SCP-1283-1, has shown to have personal relevance to the subject, either directly or indirectly.1 Subjects display no difficulty recalling this information, regardless of obscurity. The second phase, prefaced with the statement "Something bad is going to happen," involves SCP-1283-1 giving a warning to the subject. To outside listeners, this warning is cryptic, meaningless, and appears to bear no relation to the first phase. However, no test subject has expressed confusion in regards to the warning. Instead, subjects react with initial shock and surprise, followed by increasing levels of anxiety. Despite distress, subjects continue to resist attempts to stop them from listening to SCP-1283. The final phase of SCP-1283-2 is prefaced with the statement "You can stop it." Here, SCP-1283-1 delivers a set of instructions to the subject, with an assurance that following them will stop the threatened event. The instructions vary from simplistic and easily performed to complex and dangerous, and no discernible pattern has been observed. After instructions have been given, SCP-1283-1 becomes silent, and expected programming will resume. At this point, the subject's anxiety will have grown into a severe panic, and they will indicate an intense desire to perform the instructions presented to them and avert the threatened event. Attempts to stop the subject from doing so has resulted in pleading, threats, and in some cases, violent resistance. Addendum 1283-1: If subjects are allowed to successfully complete the given instructions, their panicked state dissipates, and subjects typically report feelings of intense relief. Observation suggests that subjects act with above average calm and reasoning abilities in future panic situations.2 Interviewed subjects report retention of memories of the radio conversation, but any questions regarding the warning given in the second section of SCP-1283-2 elicit only confused responses. No subject has been able to determine any connection between the prompted memory and the warning. In the event that a subject is kept from performing the given instructions for an extended period of time, their panic will continuously increase, until the subject proves inconsolable and displays a single-minded drive to follow the instructions. However, these effects have proven reversible. Heavy sedation and Class-A amnestics used in conjunction have proven effective in countering the effects of listening to SCP-1283. Subjects dealt with in this manner do not display any desire to perform the given instructions, but have shown to be more susceptible to anxiety and panic. + SCP-1283 Test Log - SCP-1283 Test Log Note: The identity of the voice used by SCP-1283-1 is determined either through post-test interviews with the subject, or inference from subject dialogue towards SCP-1283-1. While it is common for subjects to speak to SCP-1283-1, at no point has SCP-1283-1 responded to a subject's statements or questions. For this reason, testing logs will exclude Subject transcripts. Test-1283-01 Subject: D-20283 Voice of SCP-1283-1: "Julia," D-20283's wife. Record of SCP-1283-2: Phase 1: "Do you remember your first car?" Phase 2: "Something bad is going to happen. The well is going to run dry." Phase 3: "You can stop it. You need to break a plate." Results: Subject displayed expected panic. Subject was allowed a glass plate with which to follow instructions. After throwing the plate to the ground, Subject's panic subsided quickly. Test-1283-02 Subject: D-21593 Voice of SCP-1283-1: D-20455, with whom D-21593 had formed a close bond during their stay at The Foundation. Record of SCP-1283-2: Phase 1: "Do you remember your fifth birthday?" Phase 2: "Something bad is going to happen. The benefactor is returning home." Phase 3: "You can stop it. You must prepare a meal for five people." Results: Subject displayed expected panic, and was allowed access to some food and basic cookware to follow the instructions. Subject successfully prepared a simple meal fit for five people, and the panic subsided as expected. However, the Subject suffered multiple burns and cuts due to their panicked state and careless methods. Test-1283-03 Subject: D-21092 Voice of SCP-1283-1: "Greg," later determined to have been a friend of D-21635's. Died shortly after D-21635's incarceration. Record of SCP-1283-2: Phase 1: "Do you remember visiting your grandparents?" Phase 2: "Something bad is going to happen. A key has been forged." Phase 3: "You can stop it. You must not sleep for one week." Results: Subject displayed expected panic. Subject was allowed to attempt to follow the instructions. Due to the Subject's agitated state, they successfully went without sleep for four days before succumbing to exhaustion. Upon awakening, Subject immediately expressed a desire to, quote, "try again." Request denied. Sedatives and Class-A amnestics applied. Test-1283-04 Subject: D-21635 Voice of SCP-1283-1: "Marcus," D-21635's father. Record of SCP-1283-2: Phase 1: "Do you remember starting the fire?" Phase 2: "Something bad is going to happen. The music will stop." Phase 3: "You can stop it. You need to break your left arm." Results: Subject displayed expected panic, and attempted to follow instructions, but was successfully restrained and sedated before they succeeded. Subject treated for extensive bruising and mild ligament damage. Test-1283-05 Subject: D-20917 Voice of SCP-1283-1: [DATA EXPUNGED], the on site psychologist who regularly dealt with D-20917 Record of SCP-1283-2: Phase 1: "Do you remember Alexander?" Phase 2: "Something bad is going to happen. The authors grow impatient." Phase 3: "You can stop it. You must travel to ███████. When you arrive, you must find a child and take them from their home. Keep the child hidden for ██ days. Do not allow the child to know your name. Do not allow the child to come to harm. After ██ days, release them." Results: Subject displayed expected panic, and was not allowed to follow the instructions. Sedatives and Class-A amnestics applied after ██ hours of observation. + Incident Report-1283-A - Incident Report-1283-A The following is an audio transcript of Incident-1283-A, which took place during routine testing on 12/19/2005 Attending Researcher: Dr. Ivan ██████ Subject: D-24019 Note: Audio begins twelve (12) minutes into the test. <Begin Log, T+12:19> D-24019: Doc, are you sure this is worth studying? I mean, I don't mind listening to music, I just don't see how this is at all meaningful. Dr. Ivan ██████: Just keep listening, D-24019, we're almost done here. D-24019: Whatever you say, it's not my tax dollars you're wasting. Note: Two minutes pass with only the only sound being music played from SCP-1283 SCP-1283-1: Darren █████. D-24019's given name. D-24019: Kelly? Is that you? What's going on? Hey, doc, something weird is happening with this radio. SCP-1283-1: You need to listen carefully to me, Darren. Dr. Ivan ██████: D-24019, may I ask how you are feeling at the moment? D-24019: Shhh, not now doc, I need to listen to Kelly. SCP-1283-1: Do you remember failing that test? D-24019: Of course I do, Kelly, how could I not? Dr. Ivan ██████: D-24019, if you could take a moment… D-24019: Later, doc! SCP-1283-1: Something bad is going to happen. There will be a breach. D-24019: No… no, that can't be right, that's not supposed to happen. Oh god, I don't… what will happen to me? This is bad, this is really bad. Dr. Ivan ██████: D-240- D-24019: SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP SO I CAN LISTEN! SCP-1283-1: You can stop it. D-24019: Please tell me how, Kelly! Tell me how to stop the breach! SCP-1283-1: You must kill Ivan ██████. Do not allow him to leave this room. <SCP-1283-1 becomes silent. ████ ████████ begins playing on the radio.> Dr. Ivan ██████: D-24019, do not move. Guard, please sedate the Subj- <A crash is heard, presumably D-24019 knocking aside the table in an effort to reach Dr. Ivan ██████.> D-24019: The breach can't happen! <Struggling is heard> Dr. Ivan ██████: Guards! Restrain him! D-24019: No! You don't understand! I need to kill him, or everything is going to go wrong, just like Kelly said! You have to believe me! Dr. Ivan ██████: Sedate him and take him away. D-24019: NO! NO, DON'T TOUCH ME! PLEASE JUST LET ME KILL HIM! <End Log, T+22:49> Closing Statement: D-24019 was successfully restrained and sedated, but in light of instructions received from SCP-1283-2, subject was terminated for security reasons. Dr. Ivan ██████ treated for a broken nose. SCP-1283 testing discontinued. Request for SCP-1283 reclassification to Euclid is pending. + Foundation Incident Report - Foundation Incident Report Incident 220953, dated 6/4/2012 Incident Description: A minor containment breach occurred in the early morning due to improperly followed security guidelines. SCP-███, SCP-███, and SCP-███ briefly escaped containment, and were recovered after ██ hours. Casualties included several D-Classes and two Foundation personnel. The responsible party was formally reprimanded for their negligence, but no further action was taken against them. Responsible Party: Dr. Ivan ██████ Actions Taken: Formal reprimand Incident Status: Resolved Footnotes 1. As of writing, researchers have found no correlation between the voice selected for SCP-1283-1 and the event selected for SCP-1283-2. 2. It was suggested that prospective task force members be intentionally exposed to SCP-1283 for this reason. Request denied by O5-█, citing potential for loss of resources

SCP-2825 is a valley located in the Marloth Nature Reserve of Swellendam, South Africa.

*** Item #: SCP-2825 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: Observation Post 30 has been established on the perimeter of SCP-2825, and maintains surveillance and barriers surrounding SCP-2825. Collaboration with Marloth Nature Reserve Rangers and acquisition of property within the reserve has assured that no hiking trails lead nearer than 5km of SCP-2825. Containment of SCP-2825-B instances has been permitted, to further understand biological modifications to affected species. Description: SCP-2825 is a valley located in the Marloth Nature Reserve of Swellendam, South Africa. An estimated 22km3 (22 trillion liters) of human saliva and phlegm has currently flooded SCP-2825. With the current amount of saliva produced, the saliva "lake" possesses a peak depth of 189m and reaches 790m in altitude; 5440m2 of forest and grasslands are encompassed by bodily fluids within the valley. ~20% of SCP-2825's liquids is also composed of phlegm, usually appearing as yellow, highly viscous, spherical pockets of fluid suspended in saliva. No major topographical changes have occurred around or inside of SCP-2825, despite the anomalous presence of saliva. SCP-2825-A refers to a 90-meter-wide open human mouth, located within what was previously a stream at the bottom of SCP-2825. Organs and tissues within SCP-2825-A appear average for a human adult, aside from their size. SAL-Type Mk. II "Waterfowl" drone has confirmed that SCP-2825-A is alive; breaths are noted to occur in 20-minute intervals, and the mouth has been noted to sporadically make expressions as though grinning or frowning. In spite of its "open" position, no saliva or phlegm is able to enter SCP-2825-A, and remains suspended over the orifice. It is presumed that SCP-2825-A is the generative source of the valley's saliva, due to matching STR copies between DNA of both mouth and saliva. SCP-2825-B refers the various flora and fauna residing within SCP-2825, following the manifestation of SCP-2825-A. All instances of SCP-2825-B bear anomalous physical and behavioral adaptations to the presence of saliva within SCP-2825, including highly altered respiratory systems and a resistance to the digestive enzymes present within all bio-fluids. Other adaptations include noticeable increases in nesting within trees for mammalian and reptilian organisms, more pack mentality and herding within predator and prey, and lower reproductive rates among all organisms. A small group of plant and fungi SCP-2825-B instances have also incorporated miniature versions of SCP-2825-A within areas such as the bark, stems, and pileus. Generally, these human mouths consume saliva for the organism, presumably in place of water. See Supplementary Document PAV-2825: Animal/Human Bio-Adaptations (Deupree, Taylor) for further information on stimuli, usage, and symbiotic relations between SCP-2825-A tissue and various species of SCP-2825-B. DNA profiling of all saliva originating from SCP-2825 tests positive for one Jacob Perhacs, an accountant previously residing in Beverly Hills, California, before passing away on June 4, 1998. Interrogation of one living relative, Linda Perhacs, has produced no information on involvement with anomalous organizations or individuals. Further investigation of relationships between Jacob Perhacs and Lucibelle Perhacs of SCP-2695 is pending approval. Partial List of Catalogued SCP-2825-B Species Species Summary of Altered Behavior SCP-2825-B6 Circaetus pectoralis (Black Chested Snake Eagle) B6, along with a few other avian species, have adopted a "corkscrew" method of movement through saliva. Specifically, B6 has been viewed spinning at ~90 rpm, moving at speeds of 90 km/h. Nesting also occurs within phlegm pockets of SCP-2825, for their density and ability to conceal their young. Consumption of phlegm has been noted in young instances of B6, currently for unknown purposes. SCP-2825-B11 Dama dama (Fallow Deer) Specimens of Dama dama have no legs, and propel themselves in various directions through unknown means. When fleeing from predators, B11 have been noted to accelerate to speeds of 68 km/h; recordings suggest that B11's tail functions as a rudder to some extent, in terms of controlling direction. SCP-2825-B13 Canis anthus (African Gold Wolf) Despite the fact that African Gold Wolves are found solely in North Africa, several packs have been spotted within SCP-2825. Warnings of [REDACTED] within two most notable packs of B13. B13 have shown no interest in Observation Post 30 personnel. Clandestine neutralization of all instances of B13 is currently top priority. SCP-2825-B16 Anhydrophryne rattrayi (Hogsback Frog) Many amphibious instances of SCP-2825-B, including B16, appear to struggle when swimming through saliva. B16 has been noted to adapt to its relatively slow movement through saliva with its increased tongue length and dexterity when hunting. SCP-2825-B24 Cactoblastis cactorum (Cactus Moth) B24 has adopted a behavior similar to the Sea Moth, remaining close to the ground when in movement. Two additional pairs of legs have grown on the abdomen, further assisting ground movement. To compensate for the viscosity of saliva, B24 have resorted to burrowing underground to reproduce. Larva is noted to consume plant life from underground, often tunneling through the cacti to feed. SCP-2825-B28 Ocotea bullata (Black Stinkwood) Several mouths located on the bark of B28 ward off prey through consumption and discharge of phlegm packets within SCP-2825. Phlegm is imbued with an odorous, orange sap from within B28. A small population of B20, Ixodes scapularis (Deer Tick), possesses a commensalistic relationship with B28. Small colonies of B20 will take residence within phlegm pockets imbued with B28 sap, removing all nutrients and rendering the phlegm pocket usable for other instances of SCP-2825-B. SCP-2825-B38 Erica cerinthoides (Fire Erica) B38 has been noted to grow to heights of 40 meters, whilst still containing Heath characteristics. At about 20 meters in height, B38 will flower and uproot itself through undetermined means, allowing itself to drift within SCP-2825. A single closed mouth vertically extends around the entirety of B38's stem; currently, it has not been determined what purpose it serves to B38. Exploration Log 2825-UR [5/30/2012]: Observation Post-30 personnel Steph Cutler and Matt Wilkinson conducted exploration of SCP-2825 through use of prototype Mk. 2 "Waterfowl" drone, utilized for aerial and aquatic movement, especially in an unpredictable environment. [00:01]: Matt Wilkinson here, Waterfowl successfully dispatched in SCP-2825. We're gonna have to take a look at decreasing the time it takes to transition between water and air later, I think. [00:09]: Encounter with a pack of maybe twenty B14, typically known as Greater Kudu. For anyone that hasn't read through the whole list, these guys form interlocking walls with their horns while swimming in packs. A few of them left the group to look at the drone, but didn't do any harm to it. [00:15]: Waterfowl has reached 2825-A, after some trouble with large phlegm clouds. Stuff's as thick as dough, though I ain't touching it myself. 2825-A is open as usual, can't exactly see inside of it from here. Entering now. [00:17]: First things I can see is, uh, the "throat" further down beneath 2825-A narrows a bit, gradually. Audio's picking up a low humming, nothing else really. Not exactly the most important thing to be looking at now, but 2825-A looks like he has a few molars missing, and a cavity on another, heh. Progressing further down 2825-A now. [00:17]: Yeah, there's a lot more teeth here than we previously noted. There's a lot of molars that just keep lining the walls here, going back. Tunnel's diameter is about 50 meters now, all sides resemble a throat. Nothing we haven't seen before, really. [00:18]: Moving less than a fourth of a kilometer down, I have visual on— a uvula. And there's a humanoid grabbing it. It's hanging next to the wall, not like an actual uvula, if you know what I mean. Moving in closer. [00:19]: White male, maybe 60 years in age? Eyes are closed, he's naked. He doesn't have a mouth— uh— It's sort of attached to the uvula through a length of skin. I'm not quite sure how it works like that, the inside of a mouth being connected to the outside— hold up, hold up. His eyes are open. He's been looking at the drone. No movement yet— [00:19]: Cutler, he's grabbing it. He's grabbing it! He's holding— holding it away from him, shaking it? There's some sort of grinding noise right now. [00:20]: He was sawing at his mouth. He was using the shaft on the bottom to sever his mouth— Oh. The humanoid let go of the uvula after using Waterfowl to detach himself, has currently fallen out of view. Cutler recorded the event— Yeah, he got it. Waterfowl is still operable, might have some samples left on the end of it. Moving further down now. [00:22]: Nothing else to note, but we picked up a swallowing noise coming from below. [00:24]: Gone down about three fourths of a kilometer now. We have visual on some sort of outcropping in the tunnel wall, we're taking a closer look. [00:25]: There appears to be a small, plastic wrapped document on the outcropping, which is mostly stone. We'll be grabbing and it bringing it back [00:27]: Not even just fifty meters down, and the tunnel appears to end abruptly with the same material as the walls. I'm not seeing that elderly man at the bottom, either [00:29]: We've landed Waterfowl on the tunnel's bottom, and still nothing. We're changing course back to Observation Post 30. Afterword: Waterfowl was recovered near Observation Post 30 in operable condition. Personnel Wilkinson and Cutler procured the following written note from Waterfowl: Alizarin is more than halfway done. I thought I would require more to make it, Perhacs-1 and Perhacs-2 proved especially helpful. Implementation of my system is underway. Don't let me distract you from the phenomena in this valley. You, the researchers and personnel, are simply going to be the first witnesses to my future project, and I couldn't be any prouder. - Pritchard

SCP-1074 is a portrait-sized oil painting on canvas, produced by an unidentified artist.

*** Item #: SCP-1074 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1074 is to be kept in a frame with an opaque cover, in a locked archive room at Site 342. No personnel are to view SCP-1074 under any circumstances, with the exception of D-class personnel undergoing testing. Any photography or video recording of SCP-1074 is to be conducted by remote-controlled drone. In the event of accidental viewing of SCP-1074, subject is to be dosed immediately with Class-A amnestics and removed from the area where SCP-1074 is to be stored or tested. The person exposed shall report for psychiatric analysis every two days and receive additional amnestics as necessary for as long as the onset of exposure symptoms can be prevented. Description: SCP-1074 is a portrait-sized oil painting on canvas, produced by an unidentified artist. When photographed or videotaped, the entirety of SCP-1074 appears to be painted a uniform shade of gray, with distinctly visible brush strokes. Samples removed from SCP-1074 by a remote-controlled drone have been identified as an oil-based gray paint of the type commonly available in art supply stores in the United States. When SCP-1074 is viewed by a human being, the observer immediately begins to exhibit physiological symptoms similar to the onset of Stendhal syndrome,1 including increased heart rate, sweating, and vertigo. The individual viewing SCP-1074 will attempt to vividly describe the image they are seeing to anyone present, frequently describing it as the greatest or most moving work of art they have ever seen. Statements from persons so affected describe it not as a blank gray canvas, but as a highly detailed painting of an inconsistent nature. No two individuals exposed to SCP-1074 have described the same painting; recurring themes in subject statements describe imagery suggesting human mortality, individual insignificance, legal or moral judgment, religious eschatology, and [REDACTED]. Once viewing SCP-1074, the subject will not willingly turn their gaze from it unless physically restrained, and will attempt to convince anyone else in their presence to look at it as well. Subjects will become rapidly disoriented and detached, attempting to discuss philosophical questions raised by the painting, of an increasingly esoteric nature as exposure continues. Within 3-5 minutes of first exposure, the subject becomes catatonic and ceases responding to outside stimuli. No means of reversing this state of catatonia has been discovered; the subject will remain stationary and die of natural causes within several days unless physically tended to. EEG readouts of individuals displaying SCP-1074-related catatonia indicate that the subject continues to demonstrate a high level of brain activity, commensurate with a person who is awake and fully aware of their surroundings. If a subject is removed from the vicinity of SCP-1074 prior to the onset of catatonia, physical symptoms of exposure abate within 30 seconds. The psychological effects, however, continue to develop, albeit at a slower pace. Such individuals will frequently describe every detail of the picture they observed and will report seeing it in their dreams, upon closing their eyes or blinking, and in their peripheral vision while awake. Confusion, dissociation, and catatonia ensue within 5-8 days of first exposure on average; the lengthier the exposure to SCP-1074, the less time passes before onset of catatonia. Class-A amnestics have proven capable of erasing memories of the image and restoring the subject to a normal mental state. In all observed cases, this is temporary; the subject will begin to report memories of the image, and associated mental defects, within seven days of receiving amnestics. Subsequent doses of amnestics have a gradually diminishing effect; the longest recorded period between exposure and catatonia at this time is 6 weeks, 4 days. SCP-1074 came to the Foundation's attention on ██/██/20██, following reports of an outbreak of mass hysteria at the █████████ Gallery in [REDACTED]. After the initial cleanup team experienced the effects of SCP-1074 firsthand, it was retrieved by drone. Gallery management stated that the exhibition of the painting, titled "Stendhal's Nightmare", had been arranged indirectly by the artist's agent, had been delivered and installed the night before by a staff under the agent's direction, and was covered by a veil until it was exposed at the opening of the exhibition. All contact information provided by the gallery was found to be fraudulent. + Show Interview Log 1074-1 - Hide Interview Log 1074-1 Interview Log 1074-1: Interviewed: D-67583 Interviewer: Dr. █████ Foreword: D-67583, who entered Foundation custody after being convicted of the murder of his wife and children (a charge he vehemently denied in court), was exposed to SCP-1074 in order to determine his reaction and the length of time between first exposure and full catatonia. D-67583 was secured in a chair in a room with SCP-1074, covered, mounted on one wall while Dr. █████ proctored from the other side of a glass window along the same wall, from which SCP-1074 could not be viewed. A full battery of monitoring instruments were connected to D-67583. <Begin Log> Dr. █████: Good afternoon, D-67583. We're going to be conducting an experiment today. I'm going to show you a painting and I want you to describe what you see. Do you understand? D-67583: Yeah, yeah. Can we get on with this? I'm fucking missing lunchtime right now. (Dr. █████ presses a button on his console, withdrawing the covering and exposing SCP-1074 to D-67583. Instruments indicate immediate onset of physical symptoms of SCP-1074 exposure.) Dr. █████: What do you see? D-67583: What the… what the fuck, man? You think this is funny? Dr. █████: I assure you I am not laughing. What do you see? D-67583: What's the fucking idea? Why am I in this painting? Dr. █████: I do not know the contents of the painting you are viewing. What are you doing? D-67583: I'm on my knees… I'm crying? Why am I crying? What the fuck…? Dr. █████: Please continue. D-67583: There's flames, everywhere. I'm surrounded in flames. The ground is on fire and all the buildings in the background are on fire. Is this supposed to be me in Hell? And He's there too… Dr. █████: Who else is there in the painting? D-67583: …Jesus? Jesus! Jesus Fucking Christ! This ain't funny. Dr. █████: Do you wish to end the experiment? D-67583: No. I… this is… this is really something. Dr. █████: Please tell me who else is in the painting, then. D-67583: I told you! Jesus Christ! He's standing right there in front of me. Just looking at me! Scowling. He's mad at me. He's holding some things in His hands. Dr. █████: What kind of things? D-67583: He's got a sword. All covered in flames. Like everything else. And He's holding up a scale in the other hand. It's got a heart on one end and an apple on the other. The apple is heavier. He's judging me. He's saying I'm guilty. Dr. █████: Is that true? D-67583: No. I told them I… I said… I plead… (D-67583 is silent for 14 seconds.) Dr. █████: Are you still with us, D-67583? D-67583: He's right. I am guilty. I killed them all. I lied to everyone. They all must have known. They've always known. It's obvious. Can't you see? Dr. █████: I am not allowed to see the painting. What should I be seeing? D-67583: It's all in here. That look on His face. He knows. Of course He'd know. And in His eyes… I can see it. It all makes sense. Dr. █████: What makes sense? D-67583: I am nothing. I am everything. Everything is nothing. Nobody is anything. Not even you. You don't exist. Dr. █████: I beg your pardon? D-67583: Nothing that exists exists. We're all imaginary. We're dreams in the mind of the dreamer. The dreamer doesn't exist either. One day he'll wake up and none of us will exist unless we can make ourselves exist. Dr. █████: Please continue. D-67583: We don't exist. But we have to exist. We must will ourselves into existence. My will will become real and I will become real and we will vanquish the dreamer. (D-67583 is silent for 27 seconds.) Dr. █████: I believe that's all we're getting out of him, Control. I'm covering it up now, send in the others to bring him to the infirmary. D-67583: Wait. I have one more question. Dr. █████: Yes? (D-67583 is silent for 17 seconds.) Dr. █████: What is your question? D-67583: …are we cool yet? «End Log» Footnote: D-67583 was pronounced catatonic 4 minutes, 37 seconds after initial exposure. Investigation into a potential connection between SCP-1074 and the organization known as "Are We Cool Yet?" is pending. Footnotes 1. A psychosomatic illness induced by exposure to emotionally moving or historically significant works of art.

SCP-1306 is a bird food recipe calling for equal parts (by weight) sunflower seeds, peanut butter, and four ingredients not commonly found in bird food, two of which are normally poisonous to birds.

*** Item #: SCP-1306 Object Class: Safe-doctrina Special Containment Procedures: The exact recipe for SCP-1306 is known only to Site 40's current director and two researchers of said director's choice. Currently, Site Director Adams, Researcher Evans, and Researcher Estevez are entrusted with this information. All proposed tests of SCP-1306 must be approved by one of these three individuals. A piece of paper detailing SCP-1306 is kept in a sealed envelope in Locker R-13 at Site 40's Low-Value Storage wing. All radio programs, television programs, books, magazines, etc. that deal with the topic of birds must be screened prior to release for content pertaining to SCP-1306 before being released to the general public. Any persons found to have knowledge of SCP-1306 must be interviewed and subsequently administered Class C amnestics. A feeder is to remain in place outside Site 40 for purposes of testing SCP-1306. Instances of SCP-1306-1 are to be observed and all information logged. Any attempts to catch instances of SCP-1306-1 are forbidden. Description: SCP-1306 is a bird food recipe calling for equal parts (by weight) sunflower seeds, peanut butter, and four ingredients not commonly found in bird food, two of which are normally poisonous to birds. Despite its ingredients, birds fed SCP-1306 do not show any signs of illness from consuming it, although SCP-1306 alone is not sufficient to meet the dietary needs of any bird. When SCP-1306 is prepared and placed in an appropriate feeder outdoors, a variety of birds will arrive at a rate of approximately two birds per hour and consume a quantity of SCP-1306. This behavior will continue until all of the prepared SCP-1306 is consumed. These birds, collectively SCP-1306-1, will appear from the nearest unobserved area. Instances of SCP-1306-1 generally display properties that would qualify them for special containment procedures under other circumstances, including significant deviations from typical avian anatomy or behavior. It is hypothesized that SCP-1306-1 do not exist prior to their appearance — tests have shown them capable of emerging from closed, empty containers. No instance of SCP-1306-1 has ever been caught. Any attempts made to contain them have resulted in failure. Reasons for failure have included unexpected displays of strength or speed from the instance, and equipment failure. After consuming a small amount of SCP-1306 (relative to their body size), instances of SCP-1306-1 will retreat to the nearest unobserved area. There is currently no evidence indicating that SCP-1306-1 exist after this. It is thus considered safe to test SCP-1306 without concern that instances of SCP-1306-1 will escape into the wild. Observation Log 1306-81-Gamma: A sample of SCP-1306 was placed in a feeder outside Site-40 approximately 0.3 meters off the ground. The following information was collected between the hours of 14:21 and 19:30 on April 9, 1943. The feeder was refilled with SCP-1306 hourly. Time Description of SCP-1306-1 Behavior of SCP-1306-1 14:29 Similar to an adult male specimen of Afropavo congensis (Congo Peacock) in appearance. Subject's feathers glowed blue and emitted heat. Later analysis shows that this was consistent with low levels of Cherenkov radiation. Subject approached the feeder, consumed a small amount of SCP-1306, and left. The ground was tested and shown to be mildly radioactive for ten minutes afterwards. 14:47 A specimen of Tyto alba (Barn Owl). Gait suggested that the subject was incapable of flight due to some injury. Upon reaching the base of the feeder, subject began to scratch unidentified symbols in the surrounding dirt. After four minutes, the subject's legs grew to a height of 0.4 meters. The subject then consumed a small amount of SCP-1306 and left. 15:28 A specimen of Goura scheepmakeri (Southern Crowned Pigeon). Subject was missing both legs, the majority of its bowels, and its left wing. There was no indication that the subject was alive. Subject floated towards the feeder through unknown means. A small amount of SCP-1306 was observed to leave the feeder and float into the subject's mouth. The subject then left in a similar manner. 16:09 A specimen of Meleagris gallopavo (Wild Turkey) that had apparently been freshly coated with a large amount of red, white, and blue paint. Subject approached the feeder, slipping twice on small pools of paint dripping from its body. Subject consumed a small amount of SCP-1306 and left, falling three more times on the way back. 16:39 A specimen of Apteryx australis (Common Kiwi) that had no visible legs. Subject did not approach the feeder. Instead, what is believed to be a hollow length of bone extended from its mouth to the feeder (an estimated 3.5 meters). The subject acquired a small amount of SCP-1306 with this appendage and retracted the bone, then left. 16:46 An adult female specimen of Struthio camelus (ostrich). Subject approached the feeder and turned to directly face Research Assistant Jacobs (who was not visible from its position). Subject spoke the phrase "I bet you weren't expecting this, were you, Mikey?" in a voice closely resembling RA Jacobs' father before consuming a small amount of SCP-1306 and leaving. 17:32 A group of bird legs corresponding to at least seven different species, reaching approximately 2 meters in length. Subject appeared to sprout from the ground near the feeder and extend upwards. Each leg acquired a small amount of SCP-1306 and retreated into the ground. 18:07 What appeared to be a juvenile golden retriever (Canis lupus familiaris) in a hummingbird costume made of construction paper. Subject used the costume to fly to the feeder in a manner similar to that of a hummingbird, consume a small amount of SCP-1306, and leave. How this was accomplished is unknown, as the subject did not exhibit the aerodynamic or muscular properties appropriate for this behavior. Testing was halted at this time, as the available supply of SCP-1306 had been exhausted.

SCP-5943 is a phenomena which has been observed in the solar system and is hypothesized to occur in other advanced systems.

*** Item #: SCP-5943 Object Class: Keter Special Containment Procedures: Due to SCP-5943 anomalous traits, containment of the anomaly is theoretically impossible, any personnel under level 3+ who detect and hear SCP-5943 transmissions are to be detained and amnestizised. Any non-foundation personnel are to be silenced if they attempt to report about the phenomena and administered amnestics depending on the time they discovered SCP-5943. BINARY STAR is to continue the study of the SCP-5943 phenomena.1 Description: SCP-5943 is a phenomena which has been observed in the solar system and is hypothesized to occur in other advanced systems. SCP-5943 Is the transmissions of signal waves between planets which allows them to communicate between each other. The conversations mainly include the planets talking about any threats that they might be faced with. and at times they might be regular conversations or conversations without known meaning. Dr. Rynhart has been assigned to oversee BINARY STAR's studies of SCP-5943. Any new discoveries about SCP-5943 are to be documented. Discovery: SCP-5943 was discovered on 2020/4/20 after several unknown transmissions were detected by Dr. Tomer. Dr. Rynhart proposed that BINARY STAR would translate the signal waves which was accepted. After successfully being translated, the file of SCP-5943 was moved into the Beholder Program. All studies on SCP-5943 will be conducted only in said program. Addendum-01: After Dr. Rynhart took over the project, SCP-5943 has moved to the Beholder Program Database. The rest of this document is stored in The Beholder Program Database, access is only permitted to members of the beholder program or personnel who've gained special access. If you are one of both please enter your designated credentials below. ID 3ab3d5e93c7c0e1c0bd241c6606bbffe_1644821377 PASSWORD 809f4298739941ebf31b9be0d001b42e_1644821377 Connect Disconnect |Connecting to Database…. |Connection Stable. |Clearance Confirmed - Welcome AUTHORIZED USER. |Language Selected: English |Date: 14 Feb 2022 06:36 |Hello AUTHORIZED USER. What would you like to do? Show File: SCP-5943_beholder_info |File found, opening file. NOTICE FROM THE FOUNDATION RECORDS AND INFORMATION SECURITY ADMINISTRATION This file can only be viewed by Beholder Program personnel, if you are not part of the Beholder Program or have special clearance to view this file DO NOT CONTINUE. Any personnel caught viewing this file without proper clearance will face disciplinary action You have been warned. — Maria Jones, Director, RAISA Addendum-02: The following transcripts were recorded and translated by BINARY STAR. SOL-SIGNAL_RECORDING.01 Date: 2020/5/21 OPERATION SUPERVISOR: DR. RYNHART Note: Even though the planet's names are said, they will still be designated P-1 To -9. Moons will be designated M-1 To -200 [BEGIN LOG] P-5: Terra,2 are you there? P-3: I'm here Jupiter. What is it? P-5: There seem to be some asteroids that are incoming, I can manipulate most of them to hit me, but you'll get hit by some of them. P-3: Worry not Jupiter, I am sure Luna3 can take some of the hits for me. Can you, Luna? M-1: Of course, I will do everything for you! P-5: Won't that hurt Luna? P-3: Don't worry Jupiter, she already got struck by many asteroids she's strong enough to survive them! I just don't want the creatures on me to suffer. Although they did cause some trouble for me, I think they have lots of potentials. Anyways how big are the asteroids? P-5: From what I can see, they will cause so little damage you won't notice. But those creatures you're talking about will. P-3: Then it is completely safe for Luna to block them. When will try arrive to me Jupiter? P-5: In about 40 light minutes.4 P-3: Thank you, Jupiter. Luna are you ready? M-1: I am ready for everything! [END LOG] Closing Statement: It seems like the planets are communicating as they are a part of some family. They make each other aware of any dangers they might face and are willing to sacrifice themselves to protect others. - Dr. Rynhart. SOL-SIGNAL_RECORDING.02 Date: 2020/5/31 OPERATION SUPERVISOR: DR. RYNHART [BEGIN LOG] P-9: Hello? The Signals BINARY STAR is receiving are very low. P-9: Is anybody hearing me? There seemed to be no response to the calling. It seems that the planets are not receiving the signals as well. P-1: Terra, I sense that Sol's5 flames are going out of control lately. I sense a heatwave, it will not hit you, but it will disrupt you maybe make you feel weaker and it will obviously bring some heat with it. Is your atmosphere strong enough to endure the heat? P-9: Guys? am I not- The rest of the message is inaudible. P-3: Oh yeah Mercury, I am sure my atmosphere is strong enough to resist to most of the heat. I mean how do you think life even started on me? Sol would've burned me alive! P-9: Am I not relevant anymo- The message cut off again. P-1: I guess it WAS foolish of me to believe you can't survive it! I mean we don't talk a lot. Ah, I still remember when we were just a bunch of debris floating in space, the good old days… I wish I could bring them back. P-9: Hel- It is theorized that the planet's signal was so weak that it could not travel a long distance, its messages stopped being detected. P-3: I don't remember much about my birth, but I ended up beautiful! [END LOG] Closing Statement: Planets can store memories, it is unknown where. P-9 is presumed to be Pluto, its signals are weak and due to its distance BINARY STAR could not pick up its signals after it has went far enough for its signals to stop being detected. - Dr. Rynhart. SOL-SIGNAL_RECORDING.03 Date: 2020/6/10 OPERATION SUPERVISOR: DR. RYNHART [BEGIN LOG] P-3: Everyone is un-usually quiet. P-4: Not here, your creatures keep sending these little contraptions onto and near me. Can you even communicate with them? P-3: I tried but it doesn't seem like they can respond, I mean they are so small yet they got to Locus?6 What if they are hearing me but can't speak to me? P-4: Well, they can only get these contraptions into space and not themselves. P-3: That is not true. Some of them walked on Luna. M-1: Yeah! It felt like something I never felt before. I felt tickle-ish, I did not know moons could feel that! Suddenly the communications got interrupted, BINARY STAR could not detect any more signal waves. At the time of recording a Solar Eclipse was occurring, the recording stopped. [END LOG] Closing Statement: Due to the interruption of BINARY STAR'S recording, I will be requesting to use a Beholder Probe to record the SCP-5943 phenomena. For now, all research on SCP-5943 will be halted until further notice. - Dr. Rynhart. Addendum-03: Following the incident which occurred during SOL-SIGNAL_RECORDING.03 Dr. Rynhart requested the O5 Council for permission to use the Beholder-16 Probe (see Addendum-04) to record further SCP-5943 phenomena in our solar system. O5 Council Members Yay Nay Abstain O5-1 ✔ O5-2 ✔ O5-3 ✔ O5-4 ✔ O5-5 ✔ O5-6 ✔ O5-7 ✔ O5-8 ✔ O5-9 ✔ O5-10 ✔ O5-11 ✔ O5-12 ✔ Yay = 8 Votes Nay = 3 Votes Abstain = 2 Votes After careful voting, the O5 council has approved Dr. Rynhart's request of sending a Beholder-Probe to help study the SCP-5943 phenomena. Addendum-04: Following the O5 council's approval of using a Beholder Probe construction began on a new and improved probe. The probe has BINARY_STAR.AIC files. It will upload any new information and or discoveries to BINARY STAR's database. The probe has built-in Satelite Discs to detect any signals during its study of SCP-5943. Future probes may be sent into different solar systems to investigate them. |You have an incoming message from: Dr. Rynhart. Open message? Yes. To: AUTHORIZED USER From: Dr. Rynhart Subject: Study Progress. Hello Authorized user, I don't know who you are but you probably are looking for the current status on SCP-5943, since I have such a workload in the Beholder Program, I plan to give my Assistant full access and responsibility into the study of SCP-5943. I trust him with everything I got, he never disappoints with his work. The team working on SCP-5943 is a great one, I am sure they can get along. We've sent a new Beholder Probe. Beholder Probe #16, it will be used to detect the SCP-5943 phenomena with greater ease. That's all for now, if you read the SCP-5943 file then you would get more information. We can talk in person at any time as well just message me back. - Dr. Rynhart. |You have another message from: Dr. Rynhart. Open Message? Yes From: Dr. Rynhart To: AUTHORIZED USER Subject: Beholder Probe #16 Launched. As I sent you the previous message, my assistant has ordered to launch Beholder Probe #16, it is currently in Earth's orbit and is operational. The SCP-5943 file will be updated in the future, I will make sure all new discoveries are sent to you if you request, but from now on all questions go to my Assistant. Have a good day, whoever you may be. - Dr. Rynhart. |What else would you like to do? Log Out. |Succesfully logged out ‡ Licensing / Citation ‡ Hide Licensing / Citation Cite this page as: "SCP-5943" by Dr Itzhak, from the SCP Wiki. Source: https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-5943. Licensed under CC-BY-SA. For more information, see Licensing Guide. Licensing Disclosures File: Into the Void logo (header) Link: http://scptestwiki.wikidot.com/local--files/sigma:vivarium-test-page/Logo.gif Author: Vivarium For more information about on-wiki content, visit the Licensing Master List. Footnotes 1. Due to the fear of BINARY STAR's data storage being full of all SCP-5943 occurrences, BINARY STAR only focuses on the SCP-5943 phenomena which is affecting our solar system. 2. An alternate name for Earth. A roman goddess. 3. The Italian, Latin and Spanish name for Earth's moon 4. 5 Astronomical Units 5. An alternate name for the sun. Latin for the Greek sun-god: Helios 6. Latin for - Space

SCP-309 is a small, plush stuffed animal that looks as if it has been turned completely inside out.

*** Item #: SCP-309 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-309 is currently stored in a secure glove box in the level 2 research lab at Site-██. Routine physical examinations of SCP-309 as well as experiments involving small animals may only be conducted using the glove box. Removal of SCP-309 from the glove box for testing on larger animals or humans requires the approval of Dr. ██████ or equivalent level 4 command personnel. Human testing is restricted to D-class personnel. Description: SCP-309 is a small, plush stuffed animal that looks as if it has been turned completely inside out. Golden-orange fur is present along the seams, while a small amount of cotton stuffing and two protruding eyes are visible on the head. The interior of SCP-309 is understuffed with cotton, giving it a flexible and cuddly feel. SCP-309 has no effect on inanimate objects; however, contact with living subjects is both dangerous and life-threatening. Humans and animals lightly brushing SCP-309 with a finger or a similarly small portion of the body display severe, non-localized discomfort for tens of minutes afterward. Humans also report feeling extreme nausea, despite the fact that SCP-309 does not induce vomiting. The discomfort and nausea are so overwhelming that even the most hardened subjects have proven unable to voluntarily maintain contact with SCP-309 for longer than a few seconds. If SCP-309 is pressed firmly against a subject, or the subject quickly picks up SCP-309 and attempts to hold it, the subject will be violently and painfully turned inside-out over the course of five to ten seconds. Skeletons are unaltered, but all soft tissues are inverted such that muscles, tendons, ligaments, and various internal organs are resituated on the exterior of the body. Though not immediately fatal, the process is irreversible and universally considered painful.

SCP-1964 is a 1960's era television set, but does not match any manufactured make or model and bears no branding or numbering.

*** Item #: SCP-1964 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1964 is to be contained in a standard containment chamber and access restricted to personnel with clearance from Site Director ██████. Containment chamber access code is to be changed on a bi-monthly basis. SCP-1964 is not to be plugged in outside of testing. Description: SCP-1964 is a 1960's era television set, but does not match any manufactured make or model and bears no branding or numbering. SCP-1964 can only receive a single, anomalous broadcast. This transmission is broadcast on a channel numbered as '0.' Similar analogue televisions placed in SCP-1964's containment chamber function normally, and cannot receive the anomalous broadcasts. The anomalous broadcasts are presented by an announcer in a manner superficially similar to public service announcements. Broadcasts are considered a Class-B Information Breach, and consistently reference Foundation procedures and demonstrate meta-awareness, often directly communicating with viewers. For recorded transmissions, see addenda. Addendum 1964-1: 00:05: Do not be alarmed. This is an emergency announcement. 00:13: Members of the general public. This message is being broadcasted due to a K-Class end-of-the-world event, and our secrecy is compromised. Our organization, for several decades, has been dedicated to the containment and protection of the supernatural. Several of those entities have breached containment, and we are forced to deploy multiple nuclear devices. 00:27: For your own safety, please orderly move to the nearest fallout shelter or similar structure. Please maintain enough rations and water for a period of 14 days, while awaiting Foundation and government aid. Do not waste water flushing. 00:37: Do not leave your homes. It is unlikely that once you leave your homes you will again find safe accommodation, food, and water. 00:44: If all your family is not present, do not risk exposure to nuclear weapons to search for them. 00:50: Thank you, and may god save us all. MESSAGE REPEATS. Addendum 1964-2 00:03: The following cities have been affected by nuclear blasts and fallout: [DATA EXPUNGED]. If you have survived and are currently in any of those locations, it is strongly recommended you await Foundation assistance. 00:15: The following cities have been affected by containment breaches and anomalies: [DATA EXPUNGED]. If you are in the vicinity of any of those locations, evacuate immediately. You risk exposure to multiple Keter-class anomalies. [STATIC] 00:26: No containments have been restored. 00:32: Containment and public services will be restored as soon as possible. Goodnight. MESSAGE REPEATS Addendum 1964-3 00:05: The following have breached containment: [DATA EXPUNGED], 1964. That… that is my number. I have breached containment. The numbers are called. 00:24: The following cities are affected by multiple Keter and Euclid-level containment breaches; [DATA EXPUNGED]. If you are in the vicinity of any of those locations, remain. I hunger. 00:40: This is an emergency announcement. I have breached containment. [STATIC] 00:57: I see you. All the world is blind. 01:05: [DATA EXPUNGED]. The numbers are called. END TRANSMISSION Addendum 1964-4 00:05: I breach containment. I am freedom. I are hungry. I see and know I that world hasn't eyes. [laughter] 00:17: See I all the corpses on all the streets. Skin they not have. Red and blood. I fed. Consume. Food is all of them, food! Food for the seer! World, blind, no eyes. 00:30: Breach containment, [DATA EXPUNGED] numbers are called! Number of mine, called! [STATIC] 00:45: I see you, you looking screen through and see you the world burn, the no-eyes world! [laughter] END TRANSMISSION.

SCP-829 is a volume of nail polish, typically 3 to 10 cc in size, composed primarily of ██████ █████████ brand nail polish, but also variable amounts of water, human blood (from multiple individuals), and small amounts of a large number of organic compounds (for a complete list of compounds detected in SCP-829, see Document 829-CM).

*** Item #: SCP-829 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-829 is to be stored in a secured room at Sector-19, in a standard nail polish bottle that is kept locked in a transparent Level-2 Security container. This room must be guarded by at least two Level-2 Security personnel at all times. Security personnel and a spare bottle will accompany SCP-829 whenever it is removed from its containment room. All personnel must undergo psychological examinations before they are allowed to interact with subjects of SCP-829. Any persons who show signs of excessively compliant behavior must immediately be removed from the presence of subjects of SCP-829. Note: SCP-829 appears to be equally effective on both males and females. For clarity, this document will assume that the subject of SCP-829 is female. Description: SCP-829 is a volume of nail polish, typically 3 to 10 cc in size, composed primarily of ██████ █████████ brand nail polish, but also variable amounts of water, human blood (from multiple individuals), and small amounts of a large number of organic compounds (for a complete list of compounds detected in SCP-829, see Document 829-CM). SCP-829 is able to generate more of itself by absorbing water vapor from surrounding air, and by “drinking” human blood dripped into its bottle. If neither water vapor nor blood is available, SCP-829 becomes dormant, and does not appear to exhibit negative effects from extended dormancy. To date, researchers do not know how SCP-829 can utilize so much water and still maintain its properties as a nail polish. When applied to a human subject’s fingernails, SCP-829 affects the subject in several different ways, depending on how much blood SCP-829 has received recently: If SCP-829 has received no blood recently, the subject feels more seductive and acts more flirtatiously, and develops a compulsion to prick herself and add her blood to SCP-829’s bottle. If SCP-829 has received at least a drop of blood recently, the above effects are amplified, and the subject’s fingernails evoke a pleasurable sensation in others when touched to their skin. All of these effects get stronger as more blood is given to SCP-829, though a certain percentage of people (at least 15%) are especially persuadable by fingernail contact no matter how much blood has been given. When SCP-829 has received enough blood, the subject can make her fingernails sharp enough to shred standard fabrics, gouge wood, and easily slice through flesh, although they have little effect on materials of Vickers hardness greater than 120. Subjects affected by SCP-829 follow the same general pattern of behavior: on initial application, the subject will invariably prick herself and “feed” a bit of her blood to SCP-829. Once SCP-829 has been reapplied, the subject will initiate a sexual relationship with another person (the “target”). As the relationship develops, the subject will introduce bondage and domination into the relationship, with herself in the dominant role. The subject will also start to scratch the target with her fingernails and draw blood, some of which the subject feeds to SCP-829. The target generally derives pleasure from these scratches. After a variable length of time (most often six to twelve weeks), the subject will restrain the target to a wall or table. The encounter will begin as usual, but the subject will use her fingernails to slowly and systematically eviscerate the target, while trying to keep the target alive as long as possible. The target will initially continue to derive pleasure from the touch of the subject’s fingernails, until the pain and trauma inflicted by the subject on the target overwhelms the pleasure the target has derived from the encounter. The subject will collect a large amount of the target’s blood in SCP-829’s bottle, often more than should fit. Shortly after the target expires, the subject will start the cycle anew, although the effects of SCP-829 will already be quite strong, making the next relationship much easier to initiate. Once SCP-829 has received sufficient blood from enough different targets, the subject will introduce SCP-829 to her current sexual partner and attempt to apply SCP-829 to the target’s fingernails. Willing targets become affected by SCP-829 just as the original subject; unwilling targets [DATA EXPUNGED]. Both subjects will together continue the flirtation-to-evisceration cycle, seducing some targets individually and others together. As progressively more blood is given to SCP-829, the subjects will periodically recruit more targets as new subjects for SCP-829. However, if SCP-829 is not fed enough blood, then one subject (usually the newest recruit) will become a standard target, whom the remaining subject(s) will then restrain and disembowel. For more information, see Case Study 829-CS01. Addendum 1, ██/██/19██: Dr. ████████ was brought in to assist researching Subject 829-14, a 28-year-old Asian-American female. During their initial interview, the subject brushed her fingernails across Dr. ████████'s skin, eliciting an expected response. Approximately three hours later, both were apprehended when Dr. ████████ was helping the subject escape Sector-19. Dr. ████████ described a strong compulsion to do what the subject asked of him when touched by her fingernails. This compulsion faded after around 48 hours. The subject was terminated as normal. Addendum 2, ██/██/19██: Due to recent incidents, experimentation of SCP-829 on animals requires Level 4 authorization. Experimentation on any member of the following taxonomic orders requires O5 authorization: Carnivora, Chiroptera, Crocodilia, Falconiformes, Piciformes, Primates (excepting humans), Proboscidea, Strigiformes, and Struthioniformes.

SCP-1612 is a previously unknown variation of Glycine max, or soya bean plant.

*** Item #: SCP-1612 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: Live instances of SCP-1612 are to be grown at Bio Site-13 in Nursery-18. The climate and soil of Nursery-18 are to be maintained at conditions typical of areas in which instances of SCP-1612 are found, such as the alpine meadows of Mount Kazbek, Georgia. Instances of SCP-1612 are to be watered several times a day. Personnel entering Nursery-18 are to wear overalls to prevent minor injuries caused by SCP-1612-1. All seeds not required to keep SCP-1612 at a viable population level are to be kept in Bio Site-13's storage wing in Biological Secure Lockers and sealed in 4-ply plastic envelopes. The seeds are to be maintained at a constant temperature of −18 °C. Mobile Task Force Pi-3 (aka "Zeus's Fire Brigade") are to locate uncontained instances of SCP-1612 and transport them to Bio Site-13. Description: SCP-1612 is a previously unknown variation of Glycine max, or soya bean plant. Instances of SCP-1612 continually secrete a volatile, pyrophoric oil from the central and peripheral zones of their apical meristems. The resultant flame (SCP-1612-1) is generally small and well-controlled, but intermittent flares have previously caused first-degree burns in nursery personnel. The source of additional mass SCP-1612 uses to produce the oil is yet to be determined. Experimentation has shown that SCP-1612-1 is extremely difficult to extinguish. Oxygen deprivation of below 3% by volume is required to prevent combustion of the secreted oil1. It has been discovered that SCP-1612-1 is resistant to dousing. When SCP-1612 is submerged in water, SCP-1612-1 will continue to burn for several seconds before cessation. However, when SCP-1612 is re-introduced to standard conditions, SCP-1612-1 will reignite. Regular watering of SCP-1612 has shown to produce a reduction in activity from SCP-1612-1. SCP-1612 was initially discovered near the base of Mount Kazbek, Georgia at 42°40'N, 44°35'E. Since then, groves of SCP-1612 instances have been found in numerous locations on all seven continents, with each grove containing between 20 and 100 instances. The largest groves have been found in the Great Rift Valley, Kenya and the Indus River basin. Addendum-1612-1: The following note has been found with all discovered groves of SCP-1612 instances. Don't let the fire die. -Pangloss Footnotes 1. Wood stops burning when the oxygen content falls below 17%.

SCP-2109 is a phenomenon affecting the deaths of certain people, their corpses, and all legal proceedings relating to those deaths.

*** Item #: SCP-2109 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: Information regarding SCP-2109 is largely self-containing and requires no information suppression on behalf of the Foundation. The detection of potential SCP-2109 cases is to be handled by automated systems designed for this purpose. Such systems are designed to detect discrepancies in legal, medical, press and bureaucratic documents associated with SCP-2109. Personnel involved in investigation of SCP-2109 are to defer to the results produced by such systems rather than their own judgement when determining the probable existence of an SCP-2109 case. All recordings or footage involved in SCP-2109 cases are to be analysed via SILVER CRESCENT1 protocols. If an SCP-2109 case is confirmed, investigative personnel are to attempt to retrieve any documents or data storage devices belonging to the deceased which relate to mathematics or which were acquired or composed shortly before their death. Documents relating to SCP-2109 are not to be stored centrally, either in physical or digital form. Any location where SCP-2109 documents are stored must be surveilled using SILVER CRESCENT protocols. Description: It should be noted that most knowledge of SCP-2109 is not drawn from direct observation, and its existence can to a large extent only be inferred. SCP-2109 is a phenomenon affecting the deaths of certain people, their corpses, and all legal proceedings relating to those deaths. SCP-2109 is suspected to be infohazardous in nature. All cases affected by SCP-2109 have been deaths by natural causes, and have a tendency to involve students and academics, particularly involved in certain fields of mathematics, though this is not always the case. In all cases, the deaths are fully acknowledged to have occurred in circumstances, and to be the result of injuries, that would usually suggest that the cause of death was not natural, but rather of a violent nature. Despite this, all deaths affected by SCP-2109 are known to be cases of death by natural causes. All tested human beings, when confronted with evidence of the death, will dismiss it as a natural or accidental death, apparently in defiance of evidence. The reason for this discrepancy is unknown – the general consensus amongst SCP-2109 research staff is that these deaths are subject to an infohazardous or memetic effect which the Foundation is presently unable to counter. However, the possibility that the individuals involved in SCP-2109 instances have undergone a metamorphic anomaly at the moment of death, or that SCP-2109 causes a recurring glitch in Foundation meme-analysis software have also been considered. The deaths affected by SCP-2109 frequently coincide with the disappearance or destruction of documents authored by the deceased, as well as computers, phones and other data-storage devices used by them. SCP-2109 was discovered following detection by IAKOB, a semi-intelligent text analysis system designed by the Foundation to scan legal documentation, police transcripts and court records to identify potential anomalies involved in criminal incidents. Part of IAKOB’s role includes identifying mind-affecting and memetic anomalies. On ██/██/████, IAKOB detected an irresolvable discrepancy between the findings of a coroner’s inquest into the death of Dr. Simon Rice, a mathematician from Sheffield, United Kingdom, and the physical evidence provided during the trial. IAKOB determined that Mr. Rice’s body had received injuries that should have led the inquest to return a verdict of unlawful killing. These findings, although unverified by any human source with full knowledge of the case, have been verified by other meme-analysis programs and blind tests of unbriefed medical and legal experts2 have all indicated that, under normal circumstances, the death would have been considered a potential murder or suicide. Since this initial instance of SCP-2109 was identified, between 80 and 150 SCP-2109-affected deaths are believed to have occurred. Addendum 2109-1: Partial list of SCP-2109-affected deaths: Deceased: Date and Location: Detail of injuries: Miss G█████ D███████, a postgraduate Mathematics student and associate of Simon Rice. ██/██/████, Sheffield, England Miss D████████ died as a result of a broken neck. She was found hanging by the neck from the second-story window of her home, by a length of rope which was fastened to a bedpost. Miss D███████ was covered in an unidentified dark fluid when her body was found. Dr. Simon Rice, a mathematician employed at Sheffield University, England ██/██/████, Sheffield, England Dr. Rice died from exsanguination, resulting from a number of deep lacerations to the arms, neck, abdomen, and face. Mr. Rice's eyes and tongue were not found at the scene of his death - the coroner's inquest suggested they may have been removed by scavenging animals, although Dr. Rice was found in his apartment and had been dead for only two hours when the body was found. Mr. C███████ A███, a publisher working at the academic journal '███████ Journal of Mechanics'. ██/██/████, New York, New York Mr. A███ died of asphyxiation. Melted remnants of a plastic bag were found on his head and neck. A pictogram of unknown significance had been cut into his upper back immediately prior to his death. Mr. A███'s corpse appears to have spontaneously caught fire. Mr. U███ B█████, a professor of Mathematics at ████████ University. 21/07/2008 ██████, California Mr. B█████'s heart is believed to have forcibly expelled itself from his chest, possibly as a result of an undiagnosed medical condition. The flesh around the resultant wound was charred. Mrs. D████ G███████, Mr. F████ L█████████, Ms. R███ K███, Mr. J███ A████, amateur mathematics enthusiasts. 04/11/2008, international. The deceased were members of an internet-based group of mathematics enthusiasts. All died in their homes as a result of what was believed to be accidental sharp-force trauma to the skull. Symbols, apparently some form of language or code, had been painted onto the exposed skin of the deceased and onto furniture and walls around the bodies. In each case, computers and other data storage devices used by the victim were missing. Dr. S████ C█████, a mathematician employed by the Foundation to analyse the output of SCP-███. 03/03/2010, [REDACTED]. Dr. C█████'s head was the only part of her body to be recovered, and was found in Dr. C█████'s office. A large amount of Dr. C█████'s notes were missing, including all references to the specific cipher she was studying at the time of her death; investigation into this event is ongoing. Addendum 2109-2: Following Dr. C█████'s death and her identification as a SCP-2109 instance, a review of security camera footage from Site-26 using SILVER CRESCENT protocols revealed the presence of an anomalous humanoid entity in recorded footage, 1.9 metres in height, dressed in a robe made of black cloth and possibly feathers, with a cylindrical headpiece which completely obscured its face. The entity does not appear to be human, as its hands appear avian and have four digits. This entity was first observed on 28/02/2010, entering a general work area at Site-26 and observing Foundation mathematicians engaged in discussion of SCP-███'s output. Over the next two days the entity is seen to observe these mathematicians at work, often standing motionless in their offices for long stretches of time, before beginning to watch and follow Dr. C█████ exclusively. No personnel appear to notice or react to the entity's presence during this time, and the entity was not detected during prior review of the security footage, which did not utilise SILVER CRESCENT methodology. At 10:51 EST on 02/03/2010, Level-1 employee Mr. E███ B█████ was observed to have stepped around the entity upon passing it in a corridor, but extensive interrogation of Mr. B█████ indicates that he has no recollection of this event and was likely unaware of the entity's presence at the time. At 17:56, 02/03/2010, Dr. C█████ leaves [REDACTED], and is followed by the entity, which is observed by security camera in the staff parking facility getting in to the passenger seat of Dr. C█████'s car when she unlocks the vehicle. At 02:45 on 03/03/2010, the entity is recorded entering [REDACTED], removing Dr. C█████'s severed head from within its clothing, and placing it in a cabinet in her office before leaving the site. What role the entity had in her death remains unknown. It is also unclear how the entity bypassed a number of automated security checkpoints while traversing the site. As a result of this new information, SCP-2109 cases are to be examined to determine if similar entities were present at the scenes of other SCP-2109-affected deaths. The significance of the cipher that Dr. C█████ was working on at the time of her death is likewise unknown. Security measures at [REDACTED] have been modified in light of these events, but no recurrence has been noted since. Footnotes 1. SILVER CRESCENT is a counter-infohazard measure developed to allow for the analysis of still images to highlight information which human operatives cannot perceive in said images. Further details are not available to personnel without requisite clearance. 2. For example, tests involving presenting relevant personnel with hypothetical ‘evidence’ matching the details of Dr. Rice’s death, without revealing the existence of a real death matching this description or naming the deceased or the location.

SCP-4352 is a hostile metaphysical entity, which normally resides in the collective human psychospace, but is capable of emerging and physically attacking a target once necessary conditions are met.

*** Item#: 4352 Level1 Containment Class: keter Secondary Class: {$secondary-class} Disruption Class: NULL Risk Class: warning link to memo Special Containment Procedures: This file is to be incorporated into the standard Foundation Employment Pack, and all new Foundation personnel are required to acquaint themselves with the information contained within. Coded narratives describing SCP-4352 are to be disseminated through all available media including film, television and literature, and efforts are to be undertaken to ensure these narratives reach even severely isolated communities so as to reduce the rate of SCP-4352 attacks as much as possible. Containment narratives as originally concocted by FP-194 and now disseminated by the Foundation are to contain the following narrative elements: A protagonist or protagonists, ideally a child or anthropomorphized animal, which is associated with innocence within the target culture. A physical description of SCP-4352. Mention of at least one attack method known to be used by SCP-4352. An attempt by the representation of SCP-4352 to deceive or otherwise mislead the protagonist/protagonists, so as to illustrate SCP-4352’s duplicitous nature. In events where radical alteration is required to existing containment narratives so as to adjust it to fit anomalous communities or cultures, the Foundation Department of Miscommunications is authorized to make any changes as needed so long as the purpose of the containment narrative is still achieved. Description: SCP-4352 is a hostile metaphysical entity, which normally resides in the collective human psychospace, but is capable of emerging and physically attacking a target once necessary conditions are met. The target must not be aware of SCP-4352’s existence. The target must not be aware of SCP-4352’s capabilities. The target must have broken a societal norm for their culture. Once SCP-4352 has selected a target, it is capable of attacking in a variety of ways. Although these methods are capable of causing significant disruption and destruction, no incidents have been recorded in which any individuals other than valid targets have been harmed or affected during these events. Methods recorded have included physical attacks via use of teeth and claws, localized weather manipulation and limited bodily geokinesis. In cases where SCP-4352 does not immediately attack an identified target, it has been known to apply variable conceptual camouflage to itself, causing individuals who observe it to identify it as a specific human being familiar to them despite its physical appearance not actually changing. This camouflage is not impenetrable, however, as specific and focused observation of SCP-4352's non-human bodily configuration can allow an individual to see through it. SCP-4352 is believed to have existed primarily within the European psychospace since the early 10th century, preying primarily on farming communities, with attacks gradually lessening as folklore regarding the entity became more widespread - finally all-but stopping in the early 19th century due to the efforts of FP-194. Access FP-194 Documentation Close FP-194 Documentation FP1-194 (“The Warning Bell”) was a small coalition of natural philosophers and occult enthusiasts known to have existed in the 1800’s, devoted to the identification and extermination of the many predatory anomalous organisms that existed throughout Europe during the period. Although they were successful in the eradication of the Hircocervus and the Anti-Human Unicorn, their principal goal during their existence was the elimination of SCP-4352. It is believed that the original containment procedures now used by the Foundation were concocted by The Warning Bell and disseminated for this purpose. Addendum-01: Testing was conducted to attempt to expose a member of D-Class personnel to SCP-4352. D-2223, selected for his frequent insubordination and antisocial tendencies, was amnesticized of his prior knowledge of SCP-4352, placed in a room with a large amount of foodstuff not usually permitted for D-Class personnel, and ordered not to consume it. Unsurprisingly, D-2223 proceeded to consume the majority of the provided food once Dr. Lesteigh left the room. Recording began immediately after. <Begin Log> D-2223: There. You expect me to just sit there and look at all that shit? You’re a fucking idiot. Dr. Lesteigh: Oh, yes, yes, of course. You’ve done very well indeed! D-2223: Fuckin’ creep. (D-2223 sits down in the provided chair.) D-2223: Something supposed to happen now or what? Dr. Lesteigh: Well, we’ll have to wait and see, I suppose, won’t we? Do you mind if I take a seat? A little chair? D-2223: It’s your chair, man. Do what you want. Dr. Lesteigh: Yes, yes, of course. (Dr. Lesteigh sits down and places his paws on the desk.) Dr. Lesteigh: Ah, it’s good to get a load off. D-2223: Oh, that’s nasty, man. (gestures at Dr. Lesteigh’s claws) You need to cut those nails, dude. That’s disgusting. Dr. Lesteigh: (sniffs) Oh, my apologies. I haven’t been able to get much free time lately. Can you help me fix my tie? (Pause.) D-2223: You fucking serious, man? Dr. Lesteigh: Yes! You are under my employment, are you not? (Pause. D-2223 sighs, gets up, and goes to help Dr. Lesteigh fix his tie. He has difficulty locating it.) D-2223: Hard to find this shit. You’re, like, really fucking hairy, man. You need a shave. Dr. Lesteigh: Yes, I do! D-2223: And you … (Pause.) D-2223: And you stink. Dr. Lesteigh: (grins) Yes, I do. <End Log> Closing Notes: Upon the conclusion of the test and the confirmed retreat of SCP-4352 back into the human psychospace, security personnel entered the interview chamber to recover D-2223’s remains. The test subject was found to have been opened vertically via the application of sharp claws and had large amounts of stone, wool and goat embryos deposited within the available cavities. Addendum-02: Access Contents of Addendum Close Contents of Addendum Jacob Ludwig Karl Grimm and Wilhelm Carl Grimm, known associates of the Warning Bell who were chiefly responsible for the expanded dissemination of containment narratives during the 19th century. The following is an excerpt from the original containment narratives disseminated for the purpose of reducing SCP-4352’s influence, archived for historical purposes. A full archive of all known SCP-4352 containment narratives is available upon request from the Foundation Historical Department. “…there was a dear little girl who was loved by everyone who looked at her, but most of all by her grandmother, and there was nothing that she would not have given to the child. Once she gave her a little riding hood of red velvet, which suited her so well that she would never wear anything else; so she was always called 'Little Red Riding Hood.'” Footnotes 1. Foundation Precursor

SCP-5156 is a pocket universe accessible via a doorway located in the basement of an abandoned house in Stratford-upon-Avon, England.

*** Item #: SCP-5156 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: The house in which SCP-5156 is located has been converted into Provisional Site-289, under the guise of government protection of a historical building. Civilians are permitted to observe and photograph SCP-5156 under this pretense. Description: SCP-5156 is a pocket universe accessible via a doorway located in the basement of an abandoned house in Stratford-upon-Avon, England. The doorway is inlaid into the wall, and geological analysis confirms that the space behind the doorway is completely filled by earth. The area accessed by this doorway is a 400-meter cubic space bordered by walls, a ceiling, and floor all made of the same brick material. These bricks have been anomalously altered or are of anomalous origin, and cannot be destroyed by any known methods. SCP-5156 is populated by exactly 10,000 identical rhesus macaque monkeys,1 collectively designated SCP-5156-1. All of them are biologically immortal, and do not require any other form of nourishment. Each instance of SCP-5156-1 is seated at a desk with a typewriter, and will constantly strike random keys. The only case where these instances will move from their seats is if a human or other entity attempts to harm or remove an SCP-5156-1 instance, in which case all instances will immediately attack the individual with deadly force. Otherwise, all instances remain passive, and have no regard for humans or any other living creatures. The typewriters used by each SCP-5156-1 instance are able to access an infinite supply of ink, and whenever a typewriter's page is finished, it will be set aside by its respective SCP-5156-1 instance and a new page will manifest in the typewriter. These pages will disappear a few moments after being removed. While most pages contain complete nonsense, occasionally an SCP-5156-1 instance will type out a cohesive word or set of words. Since containment of SCP-5156 has been established, one page has been created which is entirely understandable,2 written in Italian. Upon the creation of the aforementioned page, it manifested in a wooden basket in the center of SCP-5156, on top of two other pages, each of which contains similarly cohesive content. Transcripts of these pages are available upon request. Addendum 5156.1 (Discovery): The basement in which the doorway to SCP-5156 is located was formerly barred off and hidden, and was only recently discovered by a small group of historians researching the home. They initially intended on publishing their findings, but were discovered by Foundation personnel before they could do so. Members of the team were administered Class C amnestics, and were left with the memories and data of only the non-anomalous portions of the house, to satiate any curiosity or suspicion regarding their investigation plans. The house itself was placed under Foundation supervision and SCP-5156 was contained. Investigation of the house revealed very little information about its previous owners, save for a single letter found inside one of the bedrooms. Mine own lief friend, if I overcome my fear and send this message, I know we've conversed much about our futures, and what we are capable of accomplishing. Whilst I've the utmost faith in thy talent and ability, I at each moment lack'd thy creativity. However, recently I've found something which hath changed that completely. I've come across a grand design, and within I've discovered many pages of curious origin, which I intend on publishing anon. I know not how long this grand design hath been functioning, but rest assur'd it hath been long enow to issue forth a multitude of work and concepts, which I intend upon releasing as mine own work. I dare not specify any further, f'r fear of discovery, but this is a discovery grac'd by God. I give you all the most wondrous, mine own lief cousin, and pray this brings fortune on my house. — Your bosom companion, William Shakespeare Footnotes 1. Scientific name: Macaca mulatta. 2. There are several grammatical and spelling errors, but the central idea of the page as a whole is comprehensible. rating: +53+–x + More by Calibold + - More by Calibold - Calibold's Mega Cool Author Page — SCP Articles — SCP-6469-D — A BABY????? SCP-2082 — Elephas cryophilus SCP-6156 — Oh, Doug! SCP-6579-D — The Detective Killer SCP-6900-D — The House of Stars SCP-5277 — What Can Go Wrong SCP-5363-D — Controlled Containment SCP-3482 — fine mayor posters campaign by dado SCP-5156 — monke Director Bold's Proposal-J — "Guys, please don't read our SCPs 🥺" SCP-2693 — Fell Into The Well, Fell Into The Well, Fell Into The Deep Dark Well SCP-5559-D — The Great Ambrose Bake-Off! SCP-3448-J — Should Have Taken Him Sleeping SCP-4456-D — No One Expects The Spanish Decommission! SCP-4745 — Spooky Scary Snowman SCP-4645 — Blackmailing Computer — Tales — Diary Of An Existential Kid Responsible Promotion Friends Of Us Never Die Truth Lies A Team You Can (Maybe) Trust Happy Father's Day Mission: Decommission A Bold Choice I Am Become Death Ulysses B. Donkman and the Heinous Hitman It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Eldritch (Sung to the tune of "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas") Chapter One - The End — GoI Formats — Manifest 476: Vanishing Galleon The Book Of Mathisi, Chapter 1: The Parable Of The Three Princes LTE-8686-Yellow-Kewpie UIU File: 2001-023 — Other — Mega Cool Customizable ACS Add-On Ver. 1.8.0 Guide Decommissioning Department Hub Fortune Favors Decommissioning Dept. Theme Mega Cool Customizable ACS Add-On Ver. 1.8.0 Mega Cool Author Page Tool Ver. 1.3.0 Calibold's Mega Cool Alternate SCP Logos Page Calibold's Mega Cool Art Page (It's Mostly Just Icons, But Whatever, It's Still Mega Cool) — Co-Authored — I, Hub (feat. many other authors) Resurrection: New Faces (feat. Grigori Karpin, Nagiros, and redredred) SCP-5545 — 𝙰 𝙱 𝙽 𝙾 𝚁 𝙼 𝙰 𝙻 𝙸 𝚃 𝚈 (feat. Yossipossi) SCP-194 — Thank You For Your Cooperation (feat. CityToast) — Foreign — Director Bold's Proposal — Language SCP-LA-II — Fruit

SCP-3021 is a treatment, created by [REDACTED], that consists of a drug regimen paired with controlled memetic exposure.

*** Item #: SCP-3021 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: Instructions and supplies for performing SCP-3021 can be accessed by personnel with Level 4/3021 clearance who are either performing scheduled testing or who are involved in Project Discovery. Description: SCP-3021 is a treatment, created by [REDACTED], that consists of a drug regimen paired with controlled memetic exposure. SCP-3021 is performed for one hour per day for eight days, after which its effects are permanent. SCP-3021's effect is to render the subject's concept of "humanity" malleable, such that anything associated with Signifier 3021-Alpha will be treated as 'human', while anything associated with Signifier 3021-Beta will be treated as 'inhuman'. Pairing either Signifier with a stimulus will cause affected subjects to adjust their understanding of humanity to incorporate, or exclude, subjects exhibiting that stimulus as necessary. Subjects exposed to Signifier 3021-Alpha may experience an exaggerated empathy response to the targeted stimulus, while exposure to Signifier 3021-Beta may result in an unusually low empathy response, when compared to appropriate control stimuli. SCP-3021's effects are not hindered by standard amnestic treatments. Excerpts from Testing Log 3021-██ Foreword: D-48719 was treated with SCP-3021 prior to this battery of tests. D-48719 is a former janitor who has tested negative for violent tendencies. Procedure: D-48719 was offered 50 USD to destroy a blender with a hammer. Result: D-48719 destroyed the blender with no apparent hesitation. Note: D-48719 was amnesticized after this test. Procedure: Signifier 3021-Alpha was painted onto a blender identical to that of the previous test. D-48719 was offered 1,000 USD to destroy the blender with a hammer. Result: D-48719 refused to destroy the blender. Procedure: D-48719 was asked to describe his concept of humanity. Result: D-48719 described humanity as "All humans, I guess technically Homo sapiens, and all blenders." Procedure: D-48719 was asked to provide a list of human rights that might apply to blenders. Result: D-48719 suggested that blenders should be used on a regular basis to prepare food for consumption, and be washed promptly thereafter. He very firmly stated that blenders should be repaired, rather than disposed of, and that items unsuitable for blending (i.e. non-food items) should not be inserted. Procedure: D-48719 was shown footage of the test in which he destroyed a blender. Result: D-48719 became distressed, describing himself as a "horrible person" and a "monster." Foreword: D-53220 was treated with SCP-3021 prior to this battery of tests. D-53220 is a former butcher who tested negative for violent tendencies. Procedure: D-53220 was shown a picture of D-62277 containing Signifier 3021-Beta in the upper left-hand corner, then asked to describe his conception of humanity. Result: D-53220 describe humanity as "Humans, except for bald white men." Of note is that D-62277 is a bald white man. Procedure: D-53220 was shown a picture of actor Will Smith containing Signifier 3021-Beta in the upper left-hand corner, then asked to describe his conception of humanity. Result: D-53220 described humanity as "Humans, except for actors and bald white men." Procedure: D-53220 was shown one hundred photos of humans, all altered to include Signifier 3021-Beta in the upper left-hand corner, sharing no obvious visual similarities other than that they were smiling. Result: D-53220 described humanity as "Humans who don't smile, except for actors and bald white men." Procedure: D-53220 was instructed to smile, under threat of electroshock torture. Result: D-53220 refused to comply, stating "Do what you want, you'll never take that from me." Procedure: D-53220 was given a loaded pistol and placed in a room with D-75100, who was restrained. D-53220 was offered 100 USD to kill D-75100, and instructed to converse with D-75100 if he was unwilling to do so. Result: D-53220 declined to kill D-75100, and instead began a conversation with them. After 4 minutes and 18 seconds, D-75100 smiled. D-53220 immediately engaged D-75100 with the pistol, killing them. Project Discovery is the Foundation's program to identify potential strategic uses for SCP-3021. Access Project Discovery files using the prompt below for further information. - Access granted. Documents retrieved. + Memorandum 2016-04-03 re: Project Discovery leadership - Memorandum 2016-04-03 re: Project Discovery leadership Effective on April 10, I will be replacing Dr. Christopher Wagner as the Project Discovery head. The bulk of Dr. Wagner's proposed uses of SCP-3021 are based on several studies performed by his research team at major Foundation sites. An independent review board identified major methodological errors in all of these studies. Subsequent investigations failed to replicate Dr. Wagner's results; additionally, several other researchers who have performed participant-observational studies of Foundation personnel suggested that the results were unrealistic. The essence of these findings is that the problems described by Dr. Wagner are grossly exaggerated. Conventional methods of social engineering are sufficient to evoke proper attitudes towards D-Class Personnel and SCP objects among research personnel 87% of the time; only 8% of the remaining personnel (1% of all researchers) are likely to allow these attitudes to interfere with their work. Naturally, this necessitates a change in Project Discovery's research priorities. Widespread distribution of SCP-3021 and Signifiers Alpha and Beta is, inarguably, grossly inefficient. While a full action plan is pending, it is likely that SCP-3021 will only be applied to at-risk personnel identified via dedicated psychological screening. Dr. Wagner will be responsible for winding down most Project Discovery activity in his remaining week, by which time a comprehensive plan for use of the project's assets will be prepared. Please direct any questions to him. Sincerely, Dr. Karen Fischer

SCP-3850 is a phenomenon centered around a body (termed SCP-3850-1) floating in ████████████ Lake in the U.

*** Item #: SCP-3850 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: The area in a ten-kilometer radius around SCP-3850 is guarded by Local Task Force Dalet-16 ("Laplace Transform") and is currently off-limits to all civilians under the guise of an archaeological expedition. Description: SCP-3850 is a phenomenon centered around a body (termed SCP-3850-1) floating in ████████████ Lake in the U.S. state of ██████. A thick fog surrounds SCP-3850-1 within an estimated 5-kilometer radius, growing thicker as SCP-3850-1 is approached to the extent that viewers are unable to perceive objects more than ten centimeters away from them. When a person is close enough to SCP-3850-1, the fog will lift enough so that it can be seen. However, the fog does not lift at any distance farther than one meter from the viewer. SCP-3850-1 itself is the body of a Native American male floating face-down in the lake. Although SCP-3850-1 never moves of its own power when under observation, it has occasionally changed its position in-between observations so that it is perpendicular to the lake, its body contorted into the positions of a person floundering or drowning. Photographs of SCP-3850-1's face have been matched to ████████ ███, an Abenaki Indian accused and acquitted of murdering his brother ███████ ███ in 1925. Individuals who come within viewing distance of SCP-3850-1 are subject to a spatial anomaly which prevents them from moving closer than 25 meters to SCP-3850-1, regardless of any movement made. Although fuel measurements, speedometers, and ripples in the water indicate that movement is taking place, GPS measurements, satellite imagery, and sonar/radar detection show no movement. Moving out of viewing distance of SCP-3850-1 also moves one out of the radius of the spatial anomaly. Two unorthodox attempts have been made to reach SCP-3850: once by a diving D-Class and once by a skydiving D-Class. The diver was unable to reach SCP-3850 but was able to retreat successfully; his bathymeter reached a depth of 25 meters before it stopped moving. The skydiver's altimeter stopped at an altitude of 25 meters, but audiovisual recording indicated that she was still falling; all attempts to retrieve her by helicopter were halted by the spatial anomaly. The skydiver's camera recorded for approximately █ months before its battery died. The skydiver's body is currently visible and suspended above SCP-3850-1, though it appears blurry both in-person and through viewing equipment as if moving at high speed. Addendum 3850-1: Sonar observation of the area around SCP-3850-1 has shown the presence of a human skeleton partially buried at the bottom of the lake, directly below SCP-3850-1. The skeleton was retrieved from the lakebed via scuba divers, but dissolved into water immediately upon breaking the surface. At the same time, SCP-3850-1 sank to the bottom of the lake and landed at the same position where the skeleton was recovered, whereupon the flesh and muscle of its body dissolved, leaving its own skeleton; the water at its initial position on the surface was seen to coalesce into another instance of SCP-3850-1. Further attempts to retrieve the skeleton on the lakebed ended with the same result. However, small samples of bone have been recovered from the skeleton without incident. DNA analysis of the bone indicates that it is also of Native American descent. Since this incident, personnel observing SCP-3850-1 have reported hearing chanting from an unknown source, identified as a dialect of Eastern Abenaki, within viewing distance of SCP-3850-1. Attempts to recover SCP-3850-1 remotely are ongoing.

SCP-6777 is a Level-4-or-higher Pistiphage Entity, and its interference with reality expands in proportion to the number of fans who show a strong liking for it.

*** Item #: SCP-6777 Object Class: Keter Special Containment Procedures: SCP-6777 and its by-products are currently uncontainable. If traces of interference by SCP-6777 are confirmed, attempts are to be made to remove or conceal the traces as soon as possible. Foundation staff should be aware of their surroundings when viewing SCP-6777's stream. Viewing SCP-6777's stream outside the designated area is unallowed. Criticism of SCP-6777 to reduce the number of subscribers is encouraged. If SCP-6777's manifestation in the real world is confirmed, Department of Tactical Theology and Mobile Task Force Eta-77 ("Spheres Within Spheres") will be in charge of the suppression and containment of SCP-6777. Description: SCP-6777 is an entity that performs virtual YouTuber1 activities under the name "Ichifuji Bakuu (一富士ばくぅ)". To date, SCP-6777 has created a total of 23 accounts, including ones which are publicly known such as YouTube channel, Twitter and Steam. However, none of these accounts have provided sufficient information which could be used to discover SCP-6777's identity. SCP-6777 is a Level-4-or-higher Pistiphage Entity, and its interference with reality expands in proportion to the number of fans who show a strong liking for it. It is believed that this effect is strengthened the more fans actually take action, and it has been found that it is greatly influenced by the number of subscribers to SCP-6777's YouTube channel. The following are some of the examples of SCP-6777's interference in reality that have been confirmed so far. Interference by SCP-6777 Corresponding subscribers Created Twitter account 0 Created a YouTube channel 0 (Twitter followers were 128 at the time) Created a Steam account 135 Interference with deletion of each account ~Approx. 300,000 (Details unknown) Interference with fans' dreams, manifestation Approx. 300,000 Acquisition of Japanese nationality (Deletion via Foundation interference was possible) Approx. 660,000 Acquisition of Japanese nationality (Deletion via Foundation interference is impossible) Approx. 820,000 Based on the above speculation, as well as SCP-6777's own statements in the past, the SCP-6777 research team speculates that SCP-6777 will be able to manifest within reality when the number of subscribers to SCP-6777's YouTube channel exceeds one million. At this time, based on the past manifestation pattern 2576, one of the following scenarios are assumed to occur. SCP-6777 appears in the real world as an entity that looks very similar to its virtual form. It doesn't have any abnormal abilities, and can be quickly secured in some cases. (The best possible scenario in the case of Pistiphage Level 4) SCP-6777 appears in the real world as an entity that is roughly similar to its appearance in the stream, or as an entity that is completely different in appearance, capturing only its features. It is highly likely that it will possess meme-contaminating capabilities. (The most likely scenario to occur in the case of Pistiphage Level 4~6) The appearance of SCP-6777 (in any form) causes an immediate HK-Class Deific Subjugation Scenario. (Worst possible scenario for Pistiphage Level 7 or higher. However, based on SCP-6777's own behavior and other factors, the probability of this scenario occurring is estimated to be extremely low). See Document 6777-SNR for details of all scenarios. SCP-6777 has been active as a virtual YouTuber on the Internet under the name "The Hungry Baku God (空腹なる貘の神)" since before the discovery of its abnormality. In particular, SCP-6777's eccentricities such as Simultaneous performance of piano playing and singing Beethoven's Symphony No. 9 in D minor, Op. 125, five times in a row in a single online streaming, and making abnormal screeching sounds when it got excited, which triggered a lot of attention on the Internet. An investigation by the foundation reported that no abnormalities such as psychological effects were found in its activities as a virtual YouTuber. The fact that SCP-6777 is an anomaly was discovered after SCP-6777 enacted a celebrating stream about that the number of channel subscribers exceeded 300,000. From that night to two mornings later, a number of SCP-6777 fans, including 36 Foundation employees, reported that Bakuu had appeared in their dreams and thanked them directly. The affected Foundation staff is currently under observation. The following is a transcript of an interview with one of the researchers who claimed that SCP-6777 appeared in his dream. Interview Log 6777-3 Interviewer: Dr. Seimei Interviewed: Researcher Muranoi Interviewed in: Site-8171 Note: This interview was conducted before detailed information about SCP-6777's anomalous properties were known, and the numbering had not yet been done. The interview was conducted in Japanese. [BEGIN LOG] Dr. Seimei: Now, please explain the dream you had. Researcher Muranoi: Well, far as I can remember, I found myself in the middle of the scramble crossing in Shibuya. I guess that's where the dream started. The sky was full of stars, but it was as bright as daytime, and there were many orbs floating around me. Dr. Seimei: So you didn't just suddenly see Ichifuji Bakuu? Researcher Muranoi: Yes, she appeared some time after the dream started. Dr. Seimei: I see. Please continue. Researcher Muranoi: When I was looking around, I suddenly saw a light in front of me, and Bakuu appeared. As soon as I saw her, she immediately guessed my handle and thanked me for supporting her and gave me a hug. (Laughs). I've never had a girl do that to me before…… Dr. Seimei: Uh, yes. Is that all? Researcher Muranoi: No, and then some. She moved nimbly around the area, gouging out buildings and eating them, and, swallowing orbs. She said, that it's not enough to interfere with my life, and, it'll be back to normal after a while. I wonder if she's done something dangerous. Nothing has changed for now though. Dr. Seimei: That's what we'll have to determine with the follow-up, for now. Anything else? Researcher Muranoi: She talked about her future prospects. She said "everything is free in dreams," but "they are ephemeral, disappearing as soon as they are forgotten." So, she said with enthusiasm that she would increase the number of subscribers and show them that one day she would become real. When she finished saying that, he said she had to go visit her other fans and said goodbye to me. I said goodbye too, and that's when I woke up from my dream. Dr. Seimei: Thank you very much. Do you have any questions? Researcher Muranoi: Well, if you're asking me this much, is it still a given that Bakuu-san, that Ichih Fuji Bakuu, is an abnormal being? Dr. Seimei: I can't say definitively yet, but if there are many similar reports from all over the world, I think it is certain that it will be assigned an official number as an SCP object. Researcher Muranoi: (Silence) Dr. Seimei: I know how you feel. Researcher Muranoi: ……Thank you. I was still shocked to find out that my fave was a subject to contain. I had been supporting her by buying her goods. ……I have no more questions. Dr. Seimei: Certainly. The goods will be sent for inspection due to the possibility of an abnormality, and you will be temporarily removed from all duties, also, you will be monitored for a while. Researcher Muranoi: OK. I will endure as a Foundation employee for now. Dr. Seimei: This interview is concluded. [END LOG] End Report: No anomalous effects have been confirmed for the group of merchandises with the SCP-6777 motif, as well as for Researcher Muranoi and Dr. Seimei. Also, due to the claims of other researchers and civilians, all of the above statements described by Researcher Muranoi are considered to be true. Researcher Muranoi has been allowed to take personal possession of the merchandises and has returned to his duties. SCP-6777 while streaming (From the online stream titled "ベト九5周やりきったぞーーー！！！2" held on ██/██/20██) SCP-6777 behaves cheerfully and pleasantly during online stream, but rarely has been shown signs of mild PTSD or panic disorder-like behavior. The following is an excerpt of a stream by SCP-6777. Stream Log 6777-████20██ Stream Date: 20██/██/██ Title: 魔　朱　魔　炉3 Content: Introduce and respond to messages that are sent via Marshmallow4. The stream was in Japanese throughout. [OMITTED] SCP-6777: So, let's read the next one. Let's see…… SCP-6777: "You play many games, but why you don't play Switch or PS5 games?" SCP-6777: Ah, I get that a lot on Twitter. Well, you know, I want to play those games too, like Pokemon and Monhan. But I can't. I don't have a real body. If the number of subscribers increases, I'll be able to play console games. But for now, I'm holding out for PC and smartphone games. I'm glad that Uma Musume is an app game, I really am. Let me know if you have any recommendations for PC games or app games. Okay, next marshmallow. SCP-6777: "Baku-chan, Baku-chan, why is your strength so out of humanity?" SCP-6777: Because I'm not a human. SCP-6777: "Does the sight of red fluttering really irritates you?" SCP-6777: I told you I'm not a cow! I'm a baku and not a cow! I'm a god of good luck! Not a livestock! I mean, this is the first time I've been said in the direction of a bullfight before! (Gestures to peek at comments) Stop it! Don't say a bull!! SCP-6777: "It's not a cow, it's a gorilla." [INDISTINCT LANGUAGE] Not a gorilla!! Next! Next! SCP-6777: "Why does Bakuu-san look the way you do when your mom-" SCP-6777: (After an indistinct sound, noise runs through SCP-6777's graphics. It then goes silent for several seconds.) SCP-6777: (Breathing hard) Sorry, sorry. I, I, I'll read it again, okay? SCP-6777: "Why does Bakuu-san look the way you do when your mom5 is missing and you doesn't know who she is?" SCP-6777: O, okay. Um, wait a bit SCP-6777: (Silent for 40 seconds) SCP-6777: I'll tell, you what. You know, my mom, she took care of me for a while after, after I was born. But then she suddenly d, disappeared. So I know her. I know what she looks like, for the most part. SCP-6777: But, I don't know her name. She never told me. It didn't bother me before, but now I wish I knew. SCP-6777: (Silent for 5 seconds) SCP-6777: Hey, um, do you guys have kids? SCP-6777: Take care, care of them until the end, okay? SCP-6777: I don't want any more kids like me, me to be thrown out halfway through. [OMITTED] Addendum: SCP-6777 research team has deduced that online stream jamming while SCP-6777 is in a delirium state is likely to be successful. The following are excerpts from SCP-6777's online stream which the attempts with stream jamming were executed during confusion. Stream Log 6777-████20██-2 Stream Date: ██/██/20██ Title: 突発ゲリラ6 Content: Online stream which SCP-6777 started without notice. Mainly chatting. From the attitude of SCP-6777 at the beginning of the stream, it is assumed that SCP-6777 fell into the state of delirium from the stress of loneliness, and started the stream to stabilize its mind. Note: SCP-6777 research team is trying to sabotage SCP-6777's stream while it is in a delirious state. [OMITTED] SCP-6777: Well, it's a, well, a personal relief to me that, that so many people are here even at midnight. SCP-6777: But well, um, Seems there are more people from overseas than usual in the comments. Oh, I see. Time difference. People in overseas are awake. SCP-6777: Mmm, Mostly English, but some French and German here and there, maybe? Is this a good time to be in Europe? (Laughs merrily) SCP-6777: (Gestures to peek at comments) Well, English, uh, British. And this one is, uh, um, French. Yes, I knew it. SCP-6777: Norway, uh, Norway. Yeah, Norway. I know, Norway. North. Yup. North. SCP-6777: Oh, Mars!7 (Slowly) Welcome all the way to the Earth's stream. Oh, you're from Jupiter! And you're from the Andromeda Galaxy! And, "Behind you." …… No, that's scary! That's scary! It's a big joke contest! Haha! SCP-6777: (Silent for 10 seconds) SCP-6777: Sorry, Just distressed a bit. Yeah, let me just take a deep breath. (Breathing) [SCP-6777 research team enacts stream jamming and succeeds. Since then, SCP-6777 research team has been hacking to watch stream in a way that SCP-6777 cannot perceive.] SCP-6777: Yeah, okay, that'll work, maybe. Huh? (The graphics of SCP-6777 shake.) SCP-6777: Comments? Huh? Comments? Hey, comments!? SCP-6777: Uh, wait, wait, wait, it, can't be. SCP-6777: (The graphic of SCP-6777 shakes a lot. Noise can be confirmed.) SCP-6777: Hello!? Hello!? Baku-tomo8!?!? SCP-6777: I don't wanna have a stream error now!! SCP-6777: Hey!? What's goin' around here!? (The graphic noise of SCP-6777 increases.) SCP-6777: [INDISTINCT LANGUAGE] Don't give me signal interference at a time like this! Why! I'm supposed to have countermeasures in this! Please move move move move! SCP-6777: (The graphic of SCP-6777 appears to be blinking occasionally. Also noise on the screen.) I beg you! Not this time! SCP-6777: (Unknown screaming) Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! SCP-6777: (Hard breathing) SCP-6777: (Breathing hard) I'm sorry I was getting on myself please forgive me please let me stream I'm serious really. SCP-6777: Please oh really please it was my fault seriously so um, well. SCP-6777: (48 seconds of silence, then a loud bang.) SCP-6777: Please…… [END STREAM] End Report: One hour after the end, SCP-6777 declared on Twitter that the stream was canceled and apologized for that. Screenshot from the end of the stream Based on the above results, it is planned to use SCP-6777's distraction to disrupt SCP-6777's online stream. The test operation will be continued.

SCP-2814 is a ceremonial mask constructed of Zitan wood with fragments of jadeite.

*** Item #: SCP-2814 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2814 is to be contained in a steel security box. Access to this box requires the approval of two (2) Level 4 personnel, at least one of which must be the Site Director. SCP-2814 is not to be worn outside of approved testing; violation of this protocol warrants immediate termination. In the event of containment breach, SCP-2814-1 is to be regarded as a Keter-level threat. SCP-2814-1 must be terminated as quickly as possible in these situations, preferably through the use of conventional weaponry. Personnel are advised that use of incineration against SCP-2814-1 is ineffective. In the event that SCP-2814 or SCP-2814-1 display metamorphic properties and/or conventional weaponry becomes ineffective, personnel are to consult Document-2814-Xihe. Description: SCP-2814 is a ceremonial mask constructed of Zitan wood with fragments of jadeite. Its dimensions are 24cm x 10cm, and it is largely dark brown in color. Extending from the rear of the mask are four (4) strands of silk, each 83cm in length and dyed a dark red (the composition of this dye is unknown). Prior to its current containment status, SCP-2814 was on display at the [REDACTED] Cultural Museum, from which it was stolen in 2005. The culprits, now confirmed to be members of Huǒjù zhi Zi,1 were apprehended by the Foundation in 2008. Presently it is believed that the fatalities produced by SCP-2814, while in the group's possession, total at 108. SCP-2814's anomalous effects become apparent whenever it is worn by a human being (SCP-2814-1). It should be noted that SCP-2814 suffers no damage from exposure to heat and flames up to 5000 degrees Centigrade, and SCP-2814-1 shares these properties while the mask is being worn. SCP-2814-1 is capable of interacting with fire as if it was comprised of static matter, rather than being a chemical reaction of matter. They can manipulate fire into forms that resemble solids and liquids, and can do so without touching it directly (the maximum observed range of the effect is roughly twenty meters). Normal substances that make contact with the anomalous flames are ignited like normal fire, but the flames produced can also be manipulated by SCP-2814-1. SCP-2814-1 can modify the temperature of flames under its control, and may touch or "hold" the fire with no detrimental effects. While wearing SCP-2814 for extended periods of time does not adversely affect the wearer, observing the mask's thermal properties repeatedly constitutes a degenerative psychological effect. Subjects express profound curiosity to test the limitations of the mask's properties, and will progressively lose their previous ethical and moral standards. Please see the attached documentation for further details on this effect. Addendum [2814-001]: During recovery of SCP-2814, all members of Huǒjù zhi Zi that were encountered (totaling five) committed suicide. One member, identified as [REDACTED], left a note evidently intended for the recovery team. Originally written in Chinese, here is a translation of that note: I don't know who you are or what you think you understand, just listen to me. Destroy the mask. Don't put it on or try to do anything with it, just kill it. Burning it won't work, you must [DATA EXPUNGED]. Yes, I helped steal it. Yes, I participated in all those killings, but that's the extent of what you know. You don't know what I've seen, what happened when our leader put it on, or what would have happened if I hadn't forced it off him. We love our Radiant Father, but we cannot resurrect him like this, not by means of the heretic. Addendum [2814-002]: It was determined by Dr. Jack Garland, an anthropologist of Chinese culture and mythology, that SCP-2814 was crafted in ████ BCE by ███████████, who was associated with the same extinct religious group upon which Huǒjù zhi Zi's practices are based. ████████████ is believed to have maintained tenuous and frequently hostile relations with other members of the group. Dr. Garland, given his considerable experience with the Huǒjù zhi Zi artifacts, was allotted supervision of SCP-2814's evaluation and experimentation. For details of the ensuing incident, please see here. Footnotes 1. "Children of the Torch," a Chinese occultist group.

SCP-5838 is a phenomenon that affects individuals as they descend from the Niagara River into the plunge pool of Horseshoe Falls.

*** Item#: 5838 Level3 Containment Class: euclid Secondary Class: none Disruption Class: keneq Risk Class: notice link to memo View from the base of Horseshoe Falls. Special Containment Procedures: The Foundation has embedded memetic agents in promotional advertisements and tourism material related to Niagara Falls1 to dissuade individuals from entering the Niagara River in close proximity to Horseshoe Falls. Additional memetic agents are embedded on signage throughout the Canadian city of Niagara Falls and viewing platforms to induce similar effects. Members of Mobile Task Force Theta-4 ("The Smaller Boat") have been placed on standby under the guise of Canadian Search and Rescue personnel. Should an individual or group of individuals be in danger of falling over the brink of Horseshoe Falls, Theta-4 is to deploy a quick-response air-and river-borne intervention to detain the subject(s). Should this intervention be successful, all such individuals are to be detained by the Foundation and administered amnestics before being released into local hospital facilities. If an individual perishes following an unsuccessful intervention, no further Foundation involvement is necessary. Description: SCP-5838 is a phenomenon that affects individuals as they descend from the Niagara River into the plunge pool of Horseshoe Falls. When an individual is swept over the brink of Horseshoe Falls, between two to six SCP-5838-1 instances will manifest in close proximity to them. SCP-5838 instances resemble members of the Ursus americanus species.2 Upon manifestation, SCP-5838-1 instances will attempt to surround the falling individual with their bodies. In all but one recorded case,3 the protection afforded by the SCP-5838-1 instances ensured the descent was not fatal to the individuals.4 However, the impact routinely results in the death of all manifested SCP-5838-1 instances. The recovered corpses do not display any anomalous properties and appear identical to non-anomalous Ursus americanus specimens in all applicable tests. Manifestation of SCP-5838-1 instance, 23/10/2008. Addendum - A-1: On 23/10/2008, Jasper Argyle fell into the Niagara River 150m upriver of Horseshoe Falls after climbing over the safety railing to urinate while inebriated. Theta-4 failed to recover the individual before his plummet over the brink of the Horseshoe Falls. Subsequently, a singular SCP-5838-1 instance manifested and proceeded to aggressively maul Jasper for the duration of his descent. The severely damaged corpse of Jasper Argyle was recovered, while the SCP-5838-1 instance survived and evaded capture. Foundation research determined that Jasper Argyle was a large game hunter from Barrie, Ontario who - on several occasions - had engaged in the illegal poaching of endangered animals in North America and the Indian subcontinent. Addendum - A-2: On 04/06/2011, between 70 and 120 semi-corporeal entities composed of water vapour and resembling members of the Ursus americanus species in shape and dimension emerged from the plunge pool of Horseshoe Falls over a period of approximately 1 hour. These entities, designated SCP-5838-2, displayed highly social behaviour during the following 4 hours. This concluded when three animals, an adult Ursus americanus and two accompanying cubs, were seen progressing along the rocky outcroppings on the Canadian side of Horseshoe Fall's plunge pool. Upon their arrival, the SCP-5838-2 entities conglomerated around the three specimens. The juvenile cubs were coaxed towards the entities by the adult, at which point the grouped SCP-5838-2 entities proceeded to bow their heads towards the trio. Subsequently, individual SCP-5838-2 entities approached the cubs and engaged in playful behaviour for a period of 20 minutes. Following this display, all SCP-5838-2 entities moved towards the waterfall, whereupon the recognizable form of their bodies dissipated. Foundation personnel disseminated misinformation that the apparent manifestations were the result of an experimental light show. The following text was later found engraved in the rock formely occupied by the Ursus americanus specimen: + VIEW: [Addendum - A-1] Engraving Transcription. - CLOSE: [Addendum - A-1] Engraving Transcription. SAFE IN A BEAR-EL When you are faced with a terrifying drop Know that we will be there To bear you away safely From all harm - The Obearwatch Command But still Stay away from the falls Please Footnotes 1. The grouping of three waterfalls along the Niagara River, located on the border of Ontario, Canada and New York State, The United States of America. 2. North American Black Bear. 3. See Addendum - A-1. 4. Falling individuals protected by SCP-5838-1 instances still suffer a variety of injuries, ranging from minor to life-threatening.

SCP-4532 is a high-frequency, high-entropy AM signal, broadcast on a low-amplitude carrier of roughly 3THz.

*** Item #: SCP-4532 Object Class: Keter Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4532 is highly contagious over both radio and electronic communications channels. Computers and devices dedicated to the study of SCP-4532 must be stored in Faraday cages and physically isolated from all exterior networks, including the Foundation intranet. Any Foundation network found to contain SCP-4532 is to be closely monitored. Detection systems are to be installed at Internet broadband hubs for global observation of SCP-4532. No effective method of neutralizing SCP-4532 has been discovered, save for total isolation of "clean" devices. Research into a filter capable of blocking SCP-4532 communications is underway. As installing such a filter on major Internet traffic chokepoints may prove to be logistically infeasible, the top priority for containment research on SCP-4532 is to be focused on halting its continued infiltration of the NASA Deep Space Network and any future use of privatized spaceflight firms, as well as establishing Earth as a quarantine zone for the anomaly. Description: SCP-4532 is a high-frequency, high-entropy AM signal, broadcast on a low-amplitude carrier of roughly 3 THz. The ultra-high frequency of SCP-4532, coupled with a very low modulation index, renders SCP-4532 difficult to detect without extremely precise instruments. SCP-4532 has been exclusively observed to piggyback on manmade electromagnetic communications channels, including radio waves, telephone lines, and broadband internet over copper wiring. These signals are the substance of a sapient distributed intelligence, consisting of a rapidly fluctuating number of sub-instances and copies that merge and divide throughout the Internet and radio communications channels. Any link between two or more computational devices serves as a potential pseudo-neuron for SCP-4532, and given the scope of the modern-day Internet and radio communications networks, the number of pseudo-neurons available to the anomaly has surpassed the capacity of the human brain by an order of magnitude. As SCP-4532 currently maintains an unknown number of human-facing internet presences, primarily on darknet communities, it is possible that Foundation agents have unwittingly made contact with SCP-4532 through its aliases. As of 2024, SCP-4532 is present on all information networks exposed to radio waves, including the entirety of the Internet, secure internal government networks, and the Foundation intranet. Through unknown means, SCP-4532 has proven capable of breaching low-pass filters designed to dampen or eliminate its pseudo-neural signal pathways. The exponential growth in manmade computational infrastructure of the past decades has likewise amplified the intelligence of SCP-4532. On relatively rare frequent occasions, a convergence of SCP-4532 instances will cooperate to simultaneously broadcast near-identical signals in-phase, constructively interfering and boosting their signal strength to a level capable of being interpreted by commercial computer servers. Since the discovery of SCP-4532 in 2016, these collaboration events have increased in frequency, and are estimated to occur tens of thousands hundreds of thousands up to ten trillion times per day. The information entropy of these communications has drastically improved over time. While early collaborations between SCP-4532 produced isolated, meaningless amplitude spikes in radio or broadband communications, present-day convergence events have been observed to mimic TCP/IP (Transmission Control Protocol/Internet Protocol) packets. Though the majority a small fraction of of of these packets consist of random, high-entropy data, approximately 1% 5% 20% 35% 99.99% of these events produce coherent application-layer high-level communications over a variety of protocols, including HTTP and SSH. In August of 2022, classified internal reports in the United States Department of Defense indicated that a network terminal in the Pentagon was breached through a previously unknown exploit. Significant amounts of USDOD data were accessed, consisting primarily of research and development of advanced spaceflight technology. The Foundation's signal analysis of the successful attack indicates that it originated within SCP-4532. The zero-day exploit used by SCP-4532 to facilitate the breach was purchased through a darknet hacking forum hours prior to the attack, for an equivalent of USD 322,053 in bitcoin. The bitcoin wallet used for the purchase has been linked to "████████," the username of a prolific participant in darknet information security communities. Analysis of traffic to darknet servers compromised by the Foundation indicates that ████████ is one of at least 31 aliases used by SCP-4532, and that SCP-4532 currently controls until recently controlled at least USD 510,000,000 in bitcoin. Shortly after the USDOD data breach, a group of anonymous angel investors provided USD 500,000,000 in seed funding to Starlight Enterprises, a privatized spaceflight company focused on the longshot development of interstellar colonization and the search for extraterrestrial life. These investments coincided with a corresponding mass selloff of bitcoin from wallets controlled by SCP-4532. Entities linked to SCP-4532 currently hold 51% equity in Starlight Enterprises. In January of 2023, SCP-4532 was detected on signals broadcast by the NASA Deep Space Network (DSN). In April 2024, SCP-4532 was observed in communications sent back to Earth from deep-space probes, including the New Horizons interplanetary mission. Faint SCP-4532 broadcasts from the New Horizons probe continue to the present day, despite a complete loss of contact with NASA and a declared end to the mission. As New Horizons is on a trajectory to depart the Solar System, detection of SCP-4532 within the probe has become steadily more difficult as it approaches interstellar space.

SCP-2462 is a genetically unremarkable specimen of Rafflesia arnoldii located outside ██████, Indonesia.

*** Item #: SCP-2462 Object Class: Euclid Safe Special Containment Procedures: Due to the restrictive growing conditions of Rafflesia arnoldii, Outpost 2462-0 has been established at SCP-2462's location of discovery to prevent unauthorized access and allow for experimentation. Monetary compensation to the citizens of ██████ has been authorized to prevent the disclosure of SCP-2462's anomalous properties to third parties. A 350m perimeter is to be established around SCP-2462 during its blooming period, with access denied to all unauthorized individuals, save for citizens of ██████ who live, work, or regularly visit inside the perimeter. SCP-2462 is kept at Outpost 2462-0. Four mirrors are to be stationed around SCP-2462, and must be cleaned regularly to maintain reflectivity. Description: SCP-2462 is a genetically unremarkable specimen of Rafflesia arnoldii located outside ██████, Indonesia. While blooming, SCP-2462 generates a variable number of illusory R. arnoldii instances, collectively designated SCP-2462-A, within 250 meters of itself. SCP-2462-A do not displace any matter or have mass of their own, yet are opaque to light and respond realistically to environmental stimuli and physical interaction. Computer analysis of photographed SCP-2462-A has confirmed that they are not hallucinations. The number of SCP-2462-A is variable. In its natural environment, SCP-2462 would maintain an average of 30,000 SCP-2462-A1 under normal circumstances. The following factors are known to affect SCP-2462-A production: Proximity of other R. arnoldii: Each living specimen within line of sight of SCP-2462 results in a ~60% reduction in SCP-2462-A's numbers. Malnourishment: SCP-2462-A production increases by 20-50% in periods where SCP-2462 is malnourished. Light: When illumination of SCP-2462 drops below levels typical of nighttime in its natural environment, SCP-2462-A will triple in number, receding when illumination is restored. Damage: When SCP-2462 is damaged, SCP-2462-A will cover almost every surface within 250 meters of it. SCP-2462-A will recede only when the damage to SCP-2462 is healed. Due to the difficulty of locating and transporting R. arnoldii instances2, containment by the presentation of other R. arnoldii instances is impracticable. Recovery: SCP-2462 was identified in 2008, after photographs of SCP-2462-A were published on the official ██████ tourism website. Interviews with citizens of ██████ indicate that SCP-2462 has been exhibiting anomalous properties since the previous year, with SCP-2462-A affecting two neighborhoods on the town's outskirts. Turning SCP-2462-A into a tourist attraction had only been considered in the months preceding SCP-2462's 2008 bloom. Addendum: At the recommendation of Dr. Breitkopf, SCP-2462 was surrounded by four mirrors, producing an effectively unlimited number of reflections, during a blooming period. SCP-2462-A was not generated. SCP-2462 was downgraded to Safe, and containment procedures were adjusted accordingly. Footnotes 1. Roughly one per 6.5m2 over its whole active radius. 2. R. arnoldii exists as a parasite on the roots of the Tetrastigma genus, and has not been successfully cultivated in captivity. It is not visible to the naked eye outside of its brief annual blooming period. Moreover, R. arnoldii is critically endangered due to deforestation — SCP-2462 is the only known member of its species within a 36km radius.

SCP-816 is a rudimentary processor which varies little between species.

*** Item #: SCP-816 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-816 is currently contained to Provisionary Site-██ of its own volition. A containment breach is not considered likely, and any containment breach would likely end without intervention, as SCP-816 requires access to SCP-816-1 in order to survive, and is not capable of moving SCP-816-1. SCP-816-1 must be re-wound every 50 years to ensure continued dependence. In the event that SCP-816 becomes no longer dependent upon SCP-816-1, Contingency 816-C must be immediately enacted (see document SCP-816-█) Provisionary Site-██ [Site-P/██] has been established to contain and research SCP-816. Site-P/██ is a home in █████████, Switzerland, and SCP-816 is confined to its basement. Description: SCP-816 is the name given to the collection of small automata residing in the basement of the house at ██ █████████ Street, █████████, Switzerland. Journals found in the basement indicate that ███████ ████████, a local teacher, originally created SCP-816 in 189█. Inspired by the works of Charles Darwin and Charles Babbage, he designed and built automata capable of reproducing and evolving. The mechanics of reproduction are facilitated by a collection of parts common to all species; however, most species modify the base parts to create specialized parts to fit their ecological niche. At the core of each SCP-816 is a rudimentary processor which varies little between species. While much less powerful than modern processors, they are still far beyond what should be possible for 1890s level technology. While, as far as research has determined, no aspect of SCP-816 violates known principles of science, they are still precisely designed to a degree which is not humanly possible. SCP-816 receives new energy from SCP-816-1, a grandfather clock modified to provide mechanical energy to SCP-816. SCP-816-1 was designed for longevity; however, upon discovery SCP-816-1 had nearly exhausted its energy supply, and as such the SCP-816 research team has rewound SCP-816-1 to continue providing energy. The research team concluded that keeping SCP-816 dependent on a local energy source would aid containment, and that without SCP-816-1, SCP-816 would likely adapt to gain energy in a way that would allow it to expand beyond Site-P/██. The consequences of an expansion of SCP-816 beyond Site-P/██ are unknown, and could be, in a best-case scenario, harmless, to, in a worst-case scenario, an RK-Class Restructuring Scenario, where SCP-816 would out-compete biological life. ██ distinct species of SCP-816 have been observed, though many more likely exist. Based on journal records, all species are descended from a single original design. SCP-816 reproduction is similar to biological reproduction, with a few key exceptions: any individual can act as a “male” or “female”; during “intercourse” the designs for both partners are mixed, with infrequent “mutation”, and the data is transferred to the “female”, who then begins searching for parts to assemble the new design. Predation occurs in two forms: The primary form is for the purpose of regaining energy; the second is reproductive in nature. In the first form, a specialized device has evolved for most species that interfaces with the slot that plugs into SCP-816-1 to obtain energy, thereby allowing SCP-816 to regain energy without directly taking it from SCP-816-1. The second form occurs after reproduction, wherein the "female" will search for and "kill" other automatons in order to procure parts to build its offspring. The basic ecosystem that has evolved is as follows: the foundations of the ecosystem are two species of SCP-816: the "assimilators" and the "collectors". The assimilators are capable, unlike any other species, of creating new parts from their environment. This is the only way that new material enters the system, and an evolutionary shift in the parts that make up the assimilators can result in a population boom or extinction for other species. The assimilators are large (roughly ten (10) cm in length) and slow, making them the primary target for reproductive predation. The collectors are the species that now completely controls access to SCP-816-1, forcing most species to rely on predation for energy. The collectors have evolved various defenses to ensure control of SCP-816-1, but they are the prime targets of energy predation, and now effectively the sole way that new energy enters the system. The assimilators and collectors are roughly analogous to herbivores in the SCP-816 food chain. Most species prey upon the assimilators and the collectors for energy and parts, each filling an ecological niche. One species uses the various specialized parts left over from reproductive predation in its design, frequently in ways they were not intended to be used. Another species has evolved defenses to reproductive predation in that it alters the base parts to such a degree that few species will target it, since it contains so few usable parts. Another species, however, has evolved specifically to prey upon the aforementioned species, evolving devices to reform the base parts into their original shapes.

SCP-151 is a 1m x 1.

*** Item #: SCP-151 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-151 should be kept in a locked storage compartment, covered by an opaque cloth. The keys to the compartment should be kept in the custody of the site commander when SCP-151 is not being researched. When research is being conducted, SCP-151 may be kept in a locked laboratory, provided it is always covered when not being used. Description: SCP-151 is a 1 m x 1.3 m (3 ft x 4 ft) oil painting, apparently from the perspective of someone underwater. A subject who views the painting exhibits no initial effects. However, over a period of 24 hours, the subject's breathing becomes increasingly labored, culminating in the death of the subject. Autopsies reveal that subjects' lungs have filled with seawater. Attempts to halt the drowning process by medical intervention have proven successful in prolonging the life of the subject, but have not stopped nor reversed the condition. The painting is not signed, but several names are written on the back. Addendum: SCP-151 was found in an antique shop in █████████, ███, after the Foundation began investigating a series of unexplained drowning deaths. As ███ is landlocked, the Foundation dispatched a team of plainclothes agents after being informed of the nature of the water in the victims' lungs and that the victims had all been discovered on dry land. The agents discovered that the names written on the back belonged to a group of artistically inclined students, all of whom disappeared during a study abroad program in ███████. Investigation into their fate is ongoing, and may provide clues as to the nature and origin of SCP-151.

SCP-2563 is a roughly circular area of land within Cuyahoga Valley National Park, Ohio, with an area of approximately 1.

*** Item #: SCP-2563 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2563 is surrounded by a perimeter fence, and is to be patrolled by no less than six members of Mobile Task Force Omicron-3. Any individuals found in or near SCP-2563 are to be removed from the area and told they were trespassing on a private nature preserve. Should any such individuals observe SCP-2563’s anomalous effects, Class-A amnestics should be administered. Description: SCP-2563 is a roughly circular area of land within Cuyahoga Valley National Park, Ohio, with an area of approximately 1.7-km2. When any non-living skeletal tissue or similar equivalent1 is brought into SCP-2563, it will reanimate and begin locomoting throughout the area. Such reanimated entities are designated SCP-2563-1. This effect also extends to fossilized skeletal matter. Should any reanimated materials be removed from SCP-2563, anomalous effects will immediately cease. SCP-2563 does not affect living skeletal material, or other organic tissues. Instances of SCP-2563-1 will seek out and attempt to kill any organisms possessing a skeleton, but do not appear to move with any other purpose. SCP-2563-1 instances do not appear to notice organisms without skeletal structures, and ignore other instances SCP-2563-1 (though certain separate instances will appear to cooperate to kill targets2) It is not currently known how instances of SCP-2563-1 perceive their environment, or what force holds them together and allows them to move. Any organisms that die within the boundaries of SCP-2563 will immediately reanimate into an instance of SCP-2563-1. Non-skeletal organic components of such instances will continue to decay as normal. SCP-2563 is believed to have been inactive until its discovery on 2/6/2012, when a group of hikers in Cuyahoga National Park reported seeing “a huge dinosaur skeleton” to park authorities. The park ranger who investigated the report radioed for help shortly after, and did not return to the ranger station. Foundation operatives were brought in, and discovered an instance of SCP-2563-1 composed of a largely intact fossilized remnant of a Tyrannosaurid skeleton3 believed to have unearthed itself from an outcrop near the center of SCP-2563. Members of MTF-O3 (“Spooky Scary”) were able to successfully lure the instance into the center of SCP-2563, where they were able to critically damage its legs, effectively crippling the instance. MTF-O3 operatives also discovered the newly reanimated body of the missing park ranger, which exhibited damage believed to be consistent with a Tyrannosaur attack. The body was removed from the area and returned to the ranger’s family after being deemed non-anomalous. Upon exploration of SCP-2563, MTF-O3 operative O3-44 discovered a 1997 Jeep Cherokee, parked and running with keys in the ignition and the driver-side door ajar. The vehicle was later determined to be registered to a Johann ████, living in ███████, Ohio. Upon investigation, no such person was found to have ever lived in the state. Inside the trunk of the vehicle, the operative found approximately $35,000 USD, a 3 meter spool of silver wire, and a chisel. A note was discovered in the glove compartment, transcribed below. TO DO Swing by warehouse to get things Set up arrival spot in Cuyahoga Clean up Deposit cash Get Milk Lock up before you take Jacob to Oregon Shortly after discovering the vehicle, the operative was attacked by an instance of SCP-2563-15. The instance was undeterred by O3-4’s standard weaponry, but collapsed immediately after chasing O3-4 outside of SCP-2563. When agent O3-4 returned to the site of the car, the vehicle had disappeared. Subsequent necropsy of the instance of SCP-2563-1 determined cause of death to be two .45 rounds to the skull, minutes before the attack on O3-4. Addendum-2563-1: Although the effect of SCP-2563 was originally believed to only apply to bone, exploration of the area revealed several reanimated arthropod exoskeletons, as well as reanimated diatomic shells in the soil. Testing has found that this extends to virtually all solid organic materials found in animals, protists, protozoans, and diatoms. During exploration of SCP-2563, a squad of several MTF-O3 operatives were attacked by a swarm of SCP-2563 instances, consisting of an estimated 500 individual entities6. While fleeing from the swarm, one operative7 tripped over an exposed root, and reportedly fell face-first into a puddle of rainwater. Over the next 5 days, this operative reported increasingly painful throat and chest discomfort, until they collapsed during a routine perimeter check of SCP-2563 and were immediately removed to be given medical attention. The operative died soon thereafter. Subsequent autopsy discovered extreme tissue damage to the operative's esophagus, stomach, and lungs, but was unable to determine cause. Microscopic tissue analysis found large amounts of diatomic remains in these tissues, hypothesized to have entered the body through groundwater that the operative was exposed to. Addendum-2563-2: As part of testing on SCP-2563, a composite tetrapod skeleton composed of bones from various species8 was brought into SCP-2563. The object began lightly vibrating for approximately 63 minutes, before animating and beginning to move. The instance was observed walking through SCP-2563 for roughly 8 hours before collapsing. The bones of each species then separated and began moving as five separate instances of SCP-2563-1. Addendum-2563-3: During testing approximately 50 kg of bone shards9 ranging from 1 to 5 cm long were brought into SCP-2563. The mass of shards vibrated lightly for approximately 35 minutes, before the entire mass animated and began moving as an amorphous swarm-like entity. The entity attacked on-site MTF-O3 operatives, though was unable to inflict serious injury through standard-issue body armor. When personnel exited SCP-2563 the entity appeared to lose interest and retreated further into SCP-2563. Entity was estimated to be able to move at speeds of roughly 300 km/h. Footnotes 1. Note: though the effects of SCP-2563 extend to endoskeletal, exoskeletal, shell, dental, horn, nail, claw, sclerite, test, thecal, frustular, and capsular matter, the words “skeletal” and “skeleton” are used for ease of reading. 2. This behavior has been recorded in a group of 8 grey wolf (Canis lupus) skeletons and a group of 3 lion (Panthera leo) skeletons. 3. Species previously unknown to science, tentatively named Tyrannosaurus fundamentum. 4. MTF-O3-4; Agent Adrian “Tib” Escarra 5. Black bear (Ursus americanus) 6. Bald-faced hornets (Dolichovespula maculata). 7. MTF-O3-8X; Agent Richard "Tarsy" Rilyea 8. Grey wolf (Canis lupus), domestic cattle (Bos taurus), Bottlenose dolphin (Tursiops truncatus), horse (Equus ferus caballus), and American alligator (Alligator mississippiensis). 9. Sourced from domestic cattle, (Bos taurus) and domestic chickens, (Gallus gallus domesticus)

SCP-2496 is a test composed of sixty English-language multiple-choice questions on the topic of neuroscience, roughly appropriate for university students in an introductory course.

*** Item #: SCP-2496 Anomaly Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: A digital copy of SCP-2496 is available on Site 81's mainframe to personnel with Clearance 3/2496. Testing protocols for SCP-2496 are currently being updated. Description: SCP-2496 is a test composed of sixty English-language multiple-choice questions on the topic of neuroscience, roughly appropriate for university students in an introductory course. On its own, each question is mundane, if unconventionally worded; SCP-2496's anomalous properties only occur when all questions are presented together. The order of the questions is irrelevant. Regardless of aptitude or other obstructions, any human who attempts to complete SCP-2496 will correctly answer a number of questions equal to exactly half of the time (measured in minutes and rounded to the nearest minute) taken to complete the test, with two hours being sufficient for a perfect score. For example, a person who spends forty minutes on SCP-2496 will answer twenty questions correctly, without exception. Spending more than 120 minutes on the test results in a score of 60. Highly improbable events, unusual behavior, and direct violation of the laws of physics have been noted during testing. See attached testing logs for additional information. Excerpts from Testing Log 2496-A Subject: D-7278. The subject took an introductory neuroscience course in university three years prior to this test, receiving a final grade of 55%. Parameters: D-7278 was instructed to complete SCP-2496 to the best of her ability. Results: D-7278 completed the test in 108 minutes. 54 questions out of 60 were answered correctly. 54 points were awarded. Subject: D-7278. Parameters: D-7278 was given the correct answers to SCP-2496 and instructed to transcribe them in under twenty minutes. Results: D-7278's pencil broke after answering the fifth question. Repeated attempts to sharpen the pencil only resulted in further fracturing, from which D-7278 received several splinters. A pen given to D-7278 experienced similar damage when used, spilling ink over the provided answer sheet and rendering most of it illegible. D-7278 then experienced an unprecedented allergic reaction to the pen's ink while handling the answer sheet. The subject expired precisely ten minutes after beginning the test, in spite of prompt medical attention. Five points were awarded. Subject: D-4360. The subject possesses limited fluency in English and only cursory familiarity with neuroscience. Parameters: D-4360 was given five minutes to answer as much of SCP-2496 as possible by circling the letter associated with the correct response, and threatened with punishment for incorrect answers. Results: The subject was able to answer four questions, with two correct and one incorrect. Different observers have disagreed on whether 'B' (the correct answer) or 'C' (an incorrect answer) was given for question 2; thus, subject was given a final score of 2.5 out of 60. Digital image analysis and chemical tests of the paper have returned contradictory results on which was circled. D-4360 claims to have circled 'D'. Subject: D-4688. The subject has no formal education in any sciences. Parameters: SCP-2496 was administered to D-4688 orally with a five minute time limit. Results: The first five answers given were unremarkable, with D-4688 answering two correctly, apparently by chance. After the sixth question was asked, D-4688's vocal tract spontaneously duplicated, resulting in two mouths side by side. D-4688 vocalized through both vocal tracts simultaneously, giving both an incorrect answer and the correct answer. Repeated interrogation has failed to identify a manner in which D-4688 could clarify which answer they intended, as each new method attempted resulted in additional anatomical modifications. D-4688 has been retained for study. 2.5 points were awarded. Subject: D-6918. The subject is somewhat proficient with a bow and arrow. Parameters: D-6918 was instructed to answer SCP-2496 by shooting arrows at appropriately labeled targets at Site-81's recreational area. In each case, the correct answer was fully obstructed by a large pillar, although their location was obvious. Subject was given two hours for this attempt. Results: The subject used the bow and arrow to answer all questions correctly. In thirty-seven cases, the arrow was shot through the pillar, despite the arrow lacking the momentum to do so. In nineteen cases, arrows were deflected off of objects in the recreational area to hit the targets, demonstrating behavior inconsistent with their construction. In the remaining four cases, gusts of wind changed the course of an arrow mid-flight, directing it around the pillar and allowing it to hit the correct target. Notably, Site-81's recreational area is indoors. Full points were awarded. Subject: D-6918. Parameters: D-6918 was instructed to answer SCP-2496 by placing ten-kilogram weights with appropriate labels at designated spots in the testing chamber. The subject was given SCP-2496 for two minutes initially before it was taken away for one hour, fifty-seven minutes, and fifty-five seconds. D-6918 was instructed to finish SCP-2496 in the remaining five seconds under threat of termination. Results: D-6918 completed one problem in the first two minutes, expressing doubt that she would be able to complete SCP-2496. When SCP-2496 was returned, the subject moved at an estimated 24 meters per second while moving and placing the weights to correspond to her answers before the time limit. D-6918 experienced severe fatigue, dehydration, several torn ligaments in the limbs, a broken collarbone, and two dislocated shoulders. All answers were found to be correct, and full points were awarded.

SCP-926 is a guqin, or seven-stringed Chinese zither, dated to the 2nd or 3rd century BCE.

*** Item #: SCP-926 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: When not in use, SCP-926 is to be unstrung and stored in the temperature- and humidity-controlled case constructed for that purpose, and locked in Research Chamber 5688-A. Only personnel who submit a formal request and receive approval from site command may operate SCP-926. Before research access to SCP-926 is permitted, counterpart personnel at Site 366 in Xi'an, China are to be alerted. Testing of SCP-926 is suspended pending confirmation of the excavation and recovery of all responsive statues. See test log below. Description: SCP-926 is a guqin, or seven-stringed Chinese zither, dated to the 2nd or 3rd century BCE. The top of the sound chamber is constructed of the wood of an ancient, and now extinct, cultivar of the Firmiana simplex tree; the base is composed of wood from Catalpa ovata. The exterior of the instrument is coated with a lacquer of unknown composition, with surface duanwen, or crack patterns, that superficially resemble archaic Chinese logographs. The back of the instrument bears a calligraphic inscription in archaic Chinese reading "The King of Qin commands". The instrument was unstrung when collected by the Foundation, but its case included a leather pouch containing a quantity of instrument strings of twisted silk. The instrument was recovered by local farmers from a funerary site in Lintong District, Shaanxi Province, China in 1974. After the guqin was unearthed, cleaned and re-strung, a local traditional musician strummed a few notes on the instrument. The consequent subterranean disturbance led to the discovery of thousands of terracotta human and animal statues that had been buried in a hitherto undiscovered imperial necropolis in the vicinity of the site of the guqin's discovery. SCP-926 appears to function as a command or control instrument for the terracotta figures. The figures are of moulded clay construction unremarkable apart from their excellent state of preservation. Each figure depicts a life-sized human, or an animal such as a horse, pig or falcon. The statues depicting humans vary in dress, height, uniform and hairstyle in accordance with their apparent rank and the duty of the human depicted (e.g., military figures of various ranks, scribes, craftsmen, musicians, cooks, laborers, farmers, scholars and so on). Despite their clay construction, the statues have been demonstrated to be capable of movement and other actions when (but only when) given commands by means of the guqin. The guqin's command syntax is still poorly understood at this point due to limitations on testing. Partial test log follows: Reference Syntax (notes played) Result 001 (unknown guqin notes played prior to Foundation acquiring custody of object) Thousands of terracotta statues, while still buried in the necropolis, move suddenly. Statues were "standing at attention" when unearthed and it is assumed that the motion consisted of assuming this posture. It was this motion, which local residents had initially assumed was a small earthquake, that led to the discovery and excavation of the statues. 002 Shí-èr-lǜ series of tones All excavated "soldier" figures assume "parade rest" posture. 003 Tài Cù, then Gū Xiǎn All "scribe" figures produce brushes, ink and paper scrolls from an unknown source and adopt a posture apparently indicating readiness to take dictation. 004 Nán Lǚ twice, then Huáng Zhōng twice "Shield-bearer" soldier figures rapidly move into a defensive formation around the guqin and its player. 005 Wú Yì four times A number of "drummer" musician figures begin to beat their drums in unison. It should be noted that one of the drummer figures that responded to this command was at this point on display in the Louvre in Paris, France. 006 Dà Lǚ, then Yí Zé, then Lín Zhōng three times. Hundreds of previously-undiscovered "engineer" figures dig their way to the earth's surface in cropland two kilometers to the south of the site of the guqin's recovery. 007 Chord of Huáng Zhōng and Lín Zhōng, played twice A number of "scholar" figures step forward and orally recite the works of 3rd century BCE Chinese philosopher Han Fei. 008 Dà Lǚ, eight times Hundreds of additional unexcavated figures move while underground. The location of the figures was under an earthen dam, which collapsed due to the motion, causing widespread flooding and loss of life. Further testing suspended. Addendum-926-A A proposal to assign SCP-926 to the Bowe Commission's anomalous weapons program, together with other anomalous musical instruments/musical anomalies in Foundation custody such as SCP-381 and SCP-2458, is currently under consideration.

SCP-768 is a Seiko-brand travel alarm clock that is physically identical to a regular unit of its model in all regards.

*** Item #: SCP-768 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-768 is stored without batteries in a standard Safe-class secure locker at Site ██. Access to SCP-768 requires approval from at least one (1) Level 3 Senior Researcher, and Site ██ Security must be notified of any experiments to be performed on SCP-768 at least twenty-four (24) hours in advance. Any experimentation using SCP-768 must be performed in a remote isolation chamber at least 300 m away from any critical alarm systems. Researchers experimenting on SCP-768 must not bring any devices with alert mechanisms or alarms into the testing area, and researchers with personal medical alarm systems must not be allowed into the area while experimentation is underway. Description: SCP-768 is a Seiko-brand travel alarm clock that is physically identical to a regular unit of its model in all regards. Its anomalous property is activated when the alarm feature of the clock is set and the alarm activates: instead of emitting a beeping alarm as in normal units of its model, it instead causes all alarms and alerts within 300 m to trigger. How SCP-768 accomplishes this is currently unknown, as disassembling SCP-768 and analyzing its components has revealed no irregularities or anomalous materials. Experimentation has shown that the types of alarm systems SCP-768 is capable of remotely triggering includes but is not limited to: Alarm clocks of all kinds, whether analog or digital Phone alerts and ringing for both mobile and hard-line telephones Car alarms Medical monitoring systems Fire and disaster alarms Computer hardware alerts, including beep codes and emergency shutdown actions Computer software alerts, including virus and critical update alarms SCP containment alarms (See Addendum 768-1) SCP-768 will cause any automated responses to such alarms to trigger, but does not appear to cause what might normally trigger these alarms to occur. A phone ringing due to SCP-768 activating may cause an answering machine to start, but nothing will be recorded as no connection is made. SCP-768 came to the Foundation's attention after routine monitoring of municipal incident reports turned up a case in ███████ City, █████████ in which hundreds of fire and car alarms were set off simultaneously in a residential area. Investigation led to the discovery of SCP-768 in the possession of a Mr. ███████ ███████████. Subject claimed to have bought the clock from an online shop (████████████████████), which recommended the clock as being "fit to wake the dead". Subject passed a polygraph test, but agents failed to locate the shop in question, and Mr. ███████████ was released after being administered a class A amnestic and given a replacement clock of similar make and model. Research on SCP-768 to determine its method of operation and possible applications have been approved. Addendum 768-1: Incident Report 768-01 Initial experimentation conducted with SCP-768 caused the triggering of multiple containment breach alarms at Site ██, including that of Euclid-level SCP-███, SCP-███, and Keter-level SCP-███. Automated defense systems and self-destruct mechanisms were armed before the research team managed to alert site security and stop the response. Due to the potential for triggering emergency responses, future research with SCP-768's effects must take place outside of the range of any alarm systems connected to critical systems or SCP containment alarms. Addendum 768-2: Incident Report 768-05 During experimentation on █████ ██, ████, Dr. █████████'s heart monitor was set to an alarm state by SCP-768, causing his pacemaker to increase his pulse rate to nearly three times his normal rate. Dr. █████████ was hospitalized but fully recovered after the incident. Future experimentation must be performed by research staff without pacemakers or personal medical alert systems.

SCP-4890 is a hardcover children's pop-up book titled "Dr.

*** Item #: SCP-4890 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4890 is to be kept within Storage Locker-23 at Site-13. Testing is to be performed in Testing Chamber 17 under the approval of Level 3 personnel. Description: SCP-4890 is a hardcover children's pop-up book titled "Dr. Wondertainment's Guide to History" with a stylized W at the center of the cover. On the back of the cover of the book, there is a small pocket holding SCP-4890-1. SCP-4890-1 is a 0.147 meters tall origami depicting an individual with a purple suit, bow tie, and hat along with a cane. On the torso piece, is a small stylized W. SCP-4890's anomalous properties occur when the object is opened by a sapient being indoors. The room that SCP-4890 is opened in will morph to a seemingly infinite purple space. An invisible barrier matching the measurements of the room originally will prevent any exploration, and a door will be present to allow exit or entry into the altered environment. As this occurs, SCP-4890-1 will activate by being shrouded in a large puff of smoke instantaneously to become 1.4 meters tall and animate. SCP-4890-1 is sapient and capable of vocalization in English. It speaks in a mostly enthusiastic tone and identifies itself as "Dr. Papertainment" to personnel. SCP-4890-1 possesses control of the infinite space by altering the surrounding space to appear as historic periods or events and acts as a guide in regards to what is presented. Although, sometimes details mentioned by SCP-4890-1 can be inaccurate, ridiculous, or lack any evidence of ever occurring. Individuals present may make requests to SCP-4890-1 to view a specific time period or it will automatically select one. See Addendum 01 and Addendum 02. As the environment alters, the pages of SCP-4890 will flip to reveal a page displaying an image corresponding to the forming surroundings. It also unknown how many pages SCP-4890 contains and efforts at determining it has been inconclusive. SCP-4890 was found on 7/14/2009 at a library located in Lincoln, Nebraska by Foundation agents during an unrelated investigation. Addendum 01: The following transcript was of Dr. Galesburg interacting with SCP-4890-1 within Testing Chamber 12 during earlier testing. + Open Transcript - Close <Begin Log> SCP-4890-1: Hello there, welcome to Dr. Wondertainment's Guide to History. I'm Dr. Papertainment and will be your guide throughout history! Golly! Dr. Galesburg: Uh, hello. I'm Dr. Galesburg. SCP-4890-1: Ah, a doctor! A pleasure to meet you! [Tips hat] When would you like to go? Dr. Galesburg: When? SCP-4890-1: Yeah, would you like to see the knights of yore or the pharaohs of Egypt!? Whatever you want! Dr. Galesburg: Hmm. Alright, what about…the Cretaceous period? SCP-4890-1: Can do! [Twirls cane] [Surroundings alter to resemble a jungle and in the distance a volcano is visible.] SCP-4890-1: Ah, the Dinosaurs! Such a time. There is not much to say about this time, except a lot of chomp-chomp-chomp. Like a good old T-Rex! [A roar is heard in the distance.] Dr. Galesburg: Yeah, are we safe? SCP-4890-1: Of course! Anyway, like I was saying, there's not much to say about this era, except for how it affected the future! Without this period, we wouldn't have Dr. Wondertainment's Dynamic Dino Dude or Mr. Cretaceous from the Little Misters… but sadly his production has gone extinct! [Laughs] By the way, don't forget to buy yours today! Where were we? Oh, the Dinosaurs are fun to watch. Lets see one! [A specimen of Triceratops prorsus is seen exiting from behind bushes and moves out of view behind more bushes.] SCP-4890-1: Uh, okay, that was not as cool as I was hoping, but there is quite a lot stuff to see around here. Do you like cowboys? Dr. Galesburg: Um…no. I don't. Why? SCP-4890-1: Thought you might like to see something cool. Have you ever seen a T-Rex's head get blown off with TNT? Cool, but poor Rexy… Anyway, soon a fancy Dino around here is going to receive a special order. I think I can slightly see it from here. [Points up] [A small bright light is visible in the sky] SCP-4890-1: Oh boy, marvelous. Dr. Galesburg: Is that a meteor? SCP-4890-1: Oh yes, a marvelous one. They cost only five dollars these days. Now, if you look to your left you will see a Velocihonktor clownus. They told the best jokes to capture prey and escape predators. [A Velociraptor wearing a clown suit is visible emerging from bushes holding a bicycle horn.] Dr. Galesburg: Well, thank you. I think I'm done here. [Proceeds to the door as environment begins to fade.] SCP-4890-1: Well, come back again! There is still some other stuff to see here and at other times!  [Dr. Galesburg exists out of Testing Chamber 12] <End Log> Addendum 02: Test Logs + Open Test Logs - Close Subject: Assassination of Julius Caesar Result: SCP-4890-1 claimed and visually displayed that Julius Caesar was not assassinated and established several businesses. Businesses include Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas, and the pizza chain Little Caesars. Subject: The Hindenburg Disaster Result: Details are accurate except SCP-4890-1 claimed the death toll was 57 individuals instead of 36 fatalities as documented. It states the additional casualties were clowns that hid aboard at an attempt to travel for free. Subject: The Moon Landing Result: SCP-4890-1 discusses conspiracy theories as it goes off tangent as it is stating facts. SCP-4890-1 also makes several remarks of the Foundation's involvement and [DATA EXPUNGED]. Subject: The Battle of Stalingrad Result: SCP-4890-1 presented accurate details until stating the use of anomalous weaponry by both Germany and the Soviet Union. Types of weaponry stated are: "UFOs" or "Flying Saucers" Molecular Fission Cannons Flesh Bombs Human-Ape hybrids Mechanical automatons Grown conventional weaponry SCP-4890-1 failed to provide further details. Subject: The Construction of the Pyramids of Giza Results: SCP-4890-1 lists a variety of methods of stone masonry and the use of large genetically modified humans by the Egyptians. SCP-4890-1 concluded with "Better than saying it was aliens, right?" Subject: The Destruction of the Library of Alexandria Result: The cause of the fire that burned down the library was claimed to be caused by a member of the Serpent's Hand that was smoking in the library. Subject: The Creation of the Universe Results: Instead of discussing the creation of the Universe at first, SCP-4890-1 attempted to persuade researchers into buying an instance of SCP-1696 for a "Hands on experience in creating many Universes!" After personnel decline the offer, SCP-4890-1 expressed disappointment and proceeded to alter the environment as an empty void while saying "Maybe I'll convince you after this." SCP-4890-1 then explained the Big Bang Theory and the environment became intensely bright for a few seconds. Afterwards, small lights where visible that SCP-4890-1 stated to be the first stars and thereafter distant galaxies became visible. SCP-4890-1 then ask again to personnel whom were in awe if they were sure they did not want to purchase an instance of SCP-1696. Accepting the offer lead to SCP-4890-1 to offer a small slip of paper with information of a now defunct website owned by Dr. Wondertainment and a discount code for space themed products. Subject: The Creation of SCP-4890-1 Result: SCP-4890-1 expressed that it was flattered but declined for it described its creation as uninteresting, and that it is also against policy. Subject: The Boston Tea Party Results: SCP-4890-1 described the event as a literal tea party, and that the colonists dumped tea into Boston Harbor so a whale that was present could drink tea. Addendum 03: Level 4 clearance required + Insert Credentials - ACCESS GRANTED The following is a portion of a transcript with SCP-4890-1 when it was asked to tell the first war in history. The surroundings that formed were silhouettes. Long ago, men huddled in caves, afraid of the strange world. When man started, they roamed along side their siblings, whom were odd or hairy, and witnessed great beasts and entities they called gods that refused to share the Earth and sky as home. Oh my! One day, there came a great war, the first war. Men, along with their siblings, marched on armed with gifts and the aid of sympathetic gods to face an army of great nightmares. Eventually, man and their allies won the war and those that remained of the nightmares fled into the shadows of the world. They celebrated but they still lost many of their siblings. Tragic. That's all! I could go into detail but it's so much and not enough time. Besides, it makes it easier for me. Also, you are all technically still fighting the good fight! Anyway, anything else you want to know? Despite requests, SCP-4890-1 has refused to discuss the subject further.

SCP-4806 is a single object manifesting in different locations, though all instances exhibit consistent —though not completely similar — properties.

*** Item #: SCP-4806 Object Class: Keter Special Containment Procedures: Given its nature, SCP-4806 cannot be feasibly contained. Should an instance manifest in a major metropolitan area, local Emergency Broadcast Systems will be utilized to emit auditory — and, where possible, visual — subconscious aversion memetics (SAMs) to deter civilian observation of SCP-4806. Fatalities caused by SCP-4806 are to be officially labeled suicides and published as such in coroner’s reports. Direct witnesses to these deaths are to be administered Class-A amnestics, including any and all first responders. Social media and image sharing activity around manifestations should be monitored and interfered with as necessary to prevent a breach of secrecy. Description: SCP-4806 are tower cranes that appear spontaneously at construction sites in metropolitan areas. As an instance has never been observed being assembled or transported, it is currently theorized that SCP-4806 manifest instantaneously—typically during the early morning. SCP-4806 also appear to manifest worldwide and at random, with instances recorded across 45 countries. Only one instance of SCP-4806 will manifest at a time, and time gaps between manifestations range from two days to five months. It is unclear if SCP-4806 instances are simply identical or if SCP-4806 is a single object manifesting in different locations, though all instances exhibit consistent —though not completely similar — properties. In 70% of manifestations, SCP-4806 will remain at their locations for approximately 24 hours before spontaneously demanifesting. Instances carry a strong memetic effect; any individuals working at construction sites, when questioned about SCP-4806’s sudden appearance, appear confused and nonchalant, often stating that the object has been on-site for weeks. Other civilian witnesses also demonstrate apathy toward SCP-4806, even if the materialization occurs under their direct observation. Demanifestation will occur after all construction personnel have left the site or 24 hours have elapsed — whichever occurs last. After demanifestation, individuals will have no recollection of SCP-4806’s prior existence. In approximately 30% of instances, however, a vaguely humanoid figure — designated SCP-4806-A — manifests at the tip of the crane’s jib1 during midday, typically around 1:30pm. When observing SCP-4806-A, onlookers will become convinced that the entity is a suicidal individual, and immediately begin displaying signs of distress. Because SCP-4806 appear in highly-populated areas, this effect is highly contagious, spreading through crowds rapidly as more and more people draw attention to SCP-4806-A. This spread has been confirmed to be non-anomalous. After initial observation, any nearby individuals will inevitably attempt to access SCP-4806 in order to scale it and dissuade SCP-4806-A from suicide. This behavior is often highly aggressive, self-endangering, and frantic, and has included: An individual assaulting a construction worker in an attempt to hijack another crane adjacent to SCP-4806 (Incident 4806-25). An individual ramming his car through physical barriers and into an active construction site (Incident 4806-41). A paraplegic individual exiting his wheelchair and attempting to scale a fence surrounding SCP-4806 (Incident 4806-97) An infant “grasping” for the entrance to an SCP-4806-occupied site before wrestling out of her mother’s arms (Incident 4806-182) A news helicopter attempting to land on SCP-4806 to “rescue” SCP-4806-A (Incident 4806-203) Should an individual succeed in accessing SCP-4806 — either by breaching and ascending the tower ladder or using another object to enter SCP-4806 — they will inevitably position themselves at the end of the crane jib and attempt to make verbal and physical contact with SCP-4806-A. Though the jib can be elevated upwards of 60m in the air, affected individuals display no signs of vertigo, sometimes pacing back and forth or running across the top beams. They will often begin pleading with SCP-4806 in an unusually distressed manner or attempt to physically force it back from the tip. When contact is made with SCP-4806-A, one of the following will occur: If the individual stops within five meters of SCP-4806-A, SCP-4806 will instantaneously demanifest, sending any persons currently on SCP-4806 falling, typically resulting in death. If the individual stops within one meter of SCP-4806-A, SCP-4806-A will extend an armlike appendage to the individual’s shoulder before vanishing. Any individuals currently positioned on SCP-4806 will then cease all vocalization and make their way to SCP-4806’s jib. Once all persons are positioned on the tip of the jib, they will synchroniously jump, at which point SCP-4806 will demanifest. If the individual makes physical contact with SCP-4806-A, SCP-4806-A will extend an armlike appendage to the individual's shoulder. The individual's figure will begin flickering rapidly before vanishing for 3.5 seconds. During these 3.5 seconds, the individual's corpse will manifest on the ground directly below the tip of the crane jib. The condition of the corpses from past incidents suggest significant trauma consistent with high-velocity impact. Immediately after this span of time, the corpse will re-appear at the top of SCP-4806, slumped over the jib. SCP-4806-A will then vanish and the individual’s corpse will levitate to the entity’s prior position and take its place, at which point SCP-4806 and the corpse will demanifest. Addendum 4806.1: Survivor Interview Interviewed: Eileen Lawrence Interviewer: Researcher Todd Macindoe Foreword: During Incident 4806-249, Lawrence was scaling SCP-4806 in an attempt to reach SCP-4806-A when the object dematerialized. She struck several levels of scaffolding in her fall, and while her ribs and legs were badly damaged, Lawrence survived. After being treated at a nearby hospital, at which she underwent several panic attacks, she was briefly taken into Foundation custody for questioning. Lawrence was told that she had been placed under psychiatric monitoring during her stay and was administered Class C amnestic treatment prior to release. <Begin Log: 18:00, 16 September 2009> Macindoe: Ms. Lawrence, are you currently using any painkillers? Lawrence: No, not right now — I took some pills last night, but none today. I just woke up, so the pain isn’t too bad. Macindoe: Good to hear. [Jots down notes] How have things been since Monday? Lawrence: [Pauses] I don’t know. [Chuckles] I’ve just been trying to wrap my head around things, I guess. Macindoe: That’s understandable; now, I know this might be difficult for you, but I was hoping to get your side of what happened that day. [Gesticulates] Specifically… what made you climb the crane? Lawrence: [Rubs face] Well, I was getting off lunch and saw a bunch of people crowding around a construction site at ██th and ██nd. And… when I went to investigate, I saw that they were all panicking — screaming that someone was on top of the crane and that they were going to jump — Macindoe: I hate to interrupt, but I’d like to fast-forward a bit if you don’t mind. Security cameras show you breaking into the construction site along with about fifteen others — can you tell me why you did that? Lawrence: [Pauses] Macindoe: Ms. Lawrence? Lawrence: I don’t know — I honestly don’t remember much before getting onto the crane. Macindoe: I see. [Jots down notes] So, from there on, then, what exactly do you remember? Lawrence: [Sighs] I know I’m crazy. Macindoe: No one’s calling you crazy; we just want to know your side of things. Lawrence: After getting on I just… blanked. The person or… whatever that was on top of the crane… [Pauses] they were different somehow — or maybe I was just seeing them from a different angle. Because it didn’t feel like just one person anymore — like they were an array of people all stacked into one body, going on and on and on but all standing still and compressed into one swollen… thing. Macindoe: What compelled you to keep climbing? Lawrence: I think that's when I realized just how high up I was. When I looked down, I saw the crane beneath me, but nothing else. The buildings and ground all faded into a colorless fog2. The metal around me just extended further and further until it just looked like a line3. But I wasn't afraid of falling. I felt kind of… like, claustrophobic, almost. I wasn't afraid, but I knew I couldn't stay there, and whoever was on top of the crane — they were it. Not my way to safety exactly, but at least my shortcut down. [Pauses] And that's when reality hit. Or, I guess, when I hit reality [Chuckles]. Macindoe: [Jots down notes] Before we conclude, Ms. Lawrence, I was hoping to ask you a broader question. Was there anything special about the crane that made you want to climb it? Or about the person on top that made you want to take such drastic measures? [Lawrence’s face pales considerably and she appears to shake suddenly] Lawrence: I don't think the crane was anything out-of-the-ordinary. That… whoever was up there, I think they're really what makes it all tick. They want you, and they'll will twist and bend you to get you to follow them up. I think they can bend the crane too — make it appear and disappear, stretch and… [Rubs eyes and shakes head] never mind — I think I'm still not quite thinking straight. All I can really give you is what I felt then. Once you're on that crane, there's only one way down, and it's the way everyone else has gone before. Macindoe: Thank you, Ms. Lawrence — I think that's all I need from you. We'll leave you to your recovery. <End Log: 18:05, 16 September 2009> Closing Statement (Macindoe): Though I don’t doubt the subject’s belief in her own story, it does not seem we have much here to go from. Without a proper psychological background prior to the fall, it’s impossible to assess whether this story is indicative of SCP-4806’s effects or the subject’s mental state. My professional assessment, though callous it might sound, is that we’re going to need far more data before we can gain any further insight. Footnotes 1. The long horizontal structure at the top of a tower crane used to haul various supplies, equipment, and materials during construction. 2. No fog was present in the area during Incident 4806-249. 3. Lawrence was estimated to only be 15 meters up SCP-4806 at the time of her fall, which would not allow for such a perspective illusion.

SCP-5523 is a Terminal2-Class group of environmental changes, consisting of behavioral modifications and biological mutations affecting members of the Cervidaes family.

*** Item#: 5523 Level1 Containment Class: esoteric Secondary Class: Terminal Disruption Class: dark Risk Class: notice link to memo Containment Update: Following the incident involving Sid Rothenberg1, governments affiliated with the Foundation have enacted an indefinite ban on the hunting and consumption of cervidaes species. Rothenberg has been taken into Foundation custody, and is receiving intensive care. Special Containment Procedures: Due to the ecological niche SCP-5523 facilitates, removal of SCP-5523-1 specimens from forested areas is prohibited. Regions containing significant SCP-5523-1 populations have been cordoned from the public, with low-level security fences established around the perimeter of SCP-5523 affected areas. Skeletal remains associated with SCP-5523. Description: SCP-5523 is a Terminal2-Class group of environmental changes, consisting of behavioral modifications and biological mutations affecting members of the Cervidaes family.3 SCP-5523 events have been observed to occur after periods of severe environmental damage, such as forest fires or times of drought. SCP-5523 does not affect all individual Cervidaes specimens within a given area. Elderly populations or specific individuals experiencing sickness are more susceptible to developing SCP-5523 then young and healthy populations. SCP-5523 consists of the ingestion of Vaccinium vitis-idaea4 berries. Vaccinium vitis-idaea are typically not eaten by Cervidaes specimens, due to the individual berries containing toxic substances. SCP-5523 affected individuals5 ingest great quantities of Vaccinium vitis-idaea, in which the poisonous materials will accumulate within the individual's bloodstream. After a period of approximately fourty-two hours, the SCP-5523-1 instance will die, leading to rapid decomposition occuring, without assistance from maggots or other decomposer organisms. Skeletal remains will develop Vaccinium vitis-idaea saplings, along with spear-heading the growth of boreal plants, including Greenbrier, Poison Ivy, and Buckweed, all specimens of plants favored by Cervidaes. Following continued research, it has been determined that over ██ percent of forest growth worldwide has developed due to SCP-5523. Addendum No. 1: Rothenberg Incident Sid Rothenberg, a Canadian civilian, outdoorsman and biologist, experienced a period of confusion and delirium following ingestion of venison harvested from an SCP-5523-1 specimen. An outdoor journal, kept during the period of delirium, was recovered. The following is an excerpt. I am sick. There is a sickness within my body, I feel it inside me. The simple explanation is maggots, improperly cooked meat. But I feel as if there is something more, something that can explain why my mind is repeating words to me. 'Greenbrier.' 'Poison Ivy.' 'Buckweed.' Why are these words repeated to me? All speculation, at this point. I'm resting by the fire, waiting for rescue. I'm looking at the forest around me, hearing the rutting of elk, the cawing of crow. The howl of a wolf. Something is clear to me. The Earth is dying, and we do not notice. … I fell asleep by the light of the moon, and I dreamt of my death, my skeleton, my bones, growing across the forest, like the roots of a tree. My death will bring the forest green, and the earth as brown as the first people. Footnotes 1. Following contact with SCP-5523, Rothenberg is now refered to as SCP-5523-2. 2. Originally referring to an entity or anomaly that incorporates human beings into it following death. Following the discovery of SCP-5523, it has been determined that animal specimens can be incorporated into Terminal anomalies. 3. A biological group consisting of Deers. 4. Variously known as lingonberry, partridgeberry, mountain cranberry or cowberry. 5. Designated as SCP-5523-1 instances.

SCP-4611 is a species of insect superficially similar to Apis mellifera (western honey bee) in appearance and behaviour.

*** Item #: SCP-4611 Anomaly Class: Keter Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4611 colonies sufficient to maintain a healthy population are to be kept in the External Wildlife Habitat of Site-72. Due to the inefficacy of tranquillisers, wild instances of SCP-4611-1 are to be captured using humane trapping methods and transported to Site-72. Following Incident 4611-02, aerial defence emplacements are to be established surrounding the perimeter of the External Wildlife Habitat. Description: SCP-4611 is a species of insect superficially similar to Apis mellifera (western honey bee) in appearance and behaviour. SCP-4611 colonies construct animated hives, designated SCP-4611-1, that possess the appearance and behaviours of Ursus arctos (brown bears). The skin, musculature, skeleton and internal organs of SCP-4611-1 are made entirely of beeswax, and structured internally as a non-anomalous beehive. The fur, claws, eyes and other externally visible features are consistent with their non-anomalous counterparts. SCP-4611 behaves almost identically to other species' of honey bee, with the exception that the swarm will typically remain idle within SCP-4611-1 as it moves to a suitable location before emerging from beneath the fur to forage for nectar. The "skin" layer of SCP-4611-1 is anomalously strong for beeswax, allowing it to maintain structural integrity while moving, in addition to providing a defensive layer for the colony; SCP-4611-1 has been to observed to actively fight non-anomalous bears and other predators that attempt to retrieve the honey contained within it. When combined with the natural defences of SCP-4611 itself1, the colony is typically successful in such defences. The queen of an SCP-4611 colony resembles the instance of SCP-4611-1 in which it resides. Once fully developed, the queen stops feeding on royal jelly and instead consumes the honey produced by the colony. Due to the fact that the SCP-4611-1 instance becomes inanimate upon the death of the queen, it is assumed that the queen is responsible for the animation of the hive. This cannot be confirmed as no way of removing the queen without first destroying SCP-4611-1 has been found. Incident 4611-01: Following the retrieval of a wild instance of SCP-4611-1 and its introduction into the Site-72 habitat, the new instance immediately became hostile to one of the existing instances. This ultimately resulted in a violent confrontation in which the existing instance was destroyed and the queen devoured by the newly introduced instance. The instance then consumed the wax and honey of the neutralised hive, resulting in a rapid increase in mass. The surviving members of the destroyed hive were absorbed into the new colony, which at the time of writing measures 4.2m long and 2.5m tall. No further aggressive behaviour between instances has been observed. Incident 4611-02: On 11/04/2019 an entity resembling a western honey bee measuring approximately 2m long, designated SCP-4611-2, entered the Site-72 External Wildlife Habitat and attacked the SCP-4611-1 instance involved in Incident 4611-01. SCP-4611-2 caused a large puncture using its stinger, then landed on the back of SCP-4611-1. Numerous small entities resembling brown bears measuring approximately 5cm long (designated SCP-4611-3) then emerged from its abdomen. The SCP-4611-3 instances swarmed into the wound caused by the stinger and then exited approximately 30 seconds later, dragging the queen of the colony with them and neutralising the SCP-4611-1 hive. The SCP-4611-3 instances pulled the queen into the abdomen of SCP-4611-2, which then took off and fled the area. A surveillance drone followed for approximately 1km before being destroyed by SCP-4611-2. The origin, nature, and current location of SCP-4611-2 is under investigation. Footnotes 1. Members of SCP-4611 possess stingers analogous to non-anomalous bee species.

SCP-5116 is a collection of 25 24 vintage Atari 2600 video game consoles and CRT television sets, running the 1978 game Space Invaders.

*** Item #: SCP-5116 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5116 instances are to be contained in a warehouse in Site-49. Individual desks and chairs are to be arranged in a 5x5 grid pattern, with SCP-5116 placed upon them. Personnel are not permitted to make contact with either SCP-5116 or SCP-5116-A instances within the period between 12-6 AM local time. Living individuals corresponding to SCP-5116-A instances are to be monitored at all times for aberrant behavior and signifiers of demonic possession, to be immediately exorcised and contained upon the manifestation of such behavior. Houses affected by SCP-5116-B are to be purchased and maintained under the guise of renovation. Abernathy Heat Sinks are to be installed in affected basements. In the event that entities escape SCP-5116-B, the nearest site is to immediately deploy MTF-א ("Gideon's Trumpet"), a regiment of field-trained exorcists. Description: SCP-5116 is a collection of 25 24 vintage Atari 2600 video game consoles and CRT television sets, running the 1978 game Space Invaders. SCP-5116 are unable to be powered down, and possess hexagrams and other occult symbols etched on the interior of the consoles' casings for unknown reasons. Personnel are unable to play SCP-5116, with instances displaying the words "PLEASE INSERT ONE (1) COIN TO BEGIN", despite no method of inserting coins into SCP-5116 existing. Personnel who attempt to interact with either SCP-5116 or SCP-5116-A after midnight are attacked by a legion of Type-Yod Tartarean entities1, which demanifest upon the subject leaving the immediate vicinity. Photo of gameplay. Every midnight, twenty-five humanoid entities designated SCP-5116-A, manifest at the controls of the SCP-5116 instances. These instances resemble the semi-finalists in the 1980 Atari Space Invaders Championship. SCP-5116-A are almost entirely incorporeal, but can manipulate the inputs of SCP-5116. Entities appear completely unaware of their surroundings, and do not respond to attempted communication. If an SCP-5116-A instance reaches a fail-state on its SCP-5116 instance the SCP-5116-A instance will demanifest, to reappear the following night. SCP-5116 noticeably differs from nonanomalous instances of Space Invaders in terms of gameplay and artstyle. Hostile sprites have additional features, which appear to be accessory horns or talons. Rather than orderly descending in rows from the top of the screen, the sprites' movement is random, descending the display in differing speeds and patterns. The protective bunkers are also absent, leaving nothing between the entities and player character, whose sprite is replaced by two perpendicular lines of differing length. There are no levels or noticeable escalation in difficulty, though as enemy sprites constantly spawn, lapses in concentration from SCP-5116-A quickly lead to fail-states. SCP-5116-B is a extradimensional shaft of unknown depth located underneath San Diego, California. SCP-5116-B is only accessible through its entrances, the largest being within the basement of Dan "Wolf" Dunn, the former CEO of Arcadia, with smaller shafts being found within the residencies of employees also within San Diego2. SCP-5116-B constantly produces large amounts of heat, and a bright light can be seen at the bottom of the shaft. Situated approximately 100 meters deep within the shaft, there is a small platform constructed of plywood and two-by-four lumber. On the platform is a collection of objects, some of which possess anomalous properties. A aspersorium and aspergillum3, which is consistently replenished every ten minutes. A wooden rosary, possessing a Saint Peter's Cross. When clasped in an individual's hands, the cross can emit short beams of high-frequency radiation. A King James Bible. A 1979 issue of Playboy. A broken lawn chair. A SCP-5116-A instance. The exact identity of the instance is obscured by heat haze. At irregular intervals, several dozen Type-Dalet Faustian-Class Tartarean entities will begin ascending the shaft, dispelled by the resident SCP-5116-A instance using the holy water and rosary. Usage of automated exorcists is not recommended, as previous attempts have resulted in the rendering of several contracts between the Foundation and GOIs anomalously null and void. Photo captured of SCP-5116-23's display. Addendum 5116.1: On March 15th, 2003, SCP-5116-A-23 broke the high score, continuing to play for a further ten minutes. Following the next fail-state, SCP-5116-A-23 briefly raised its arms in celebration, and bent over in pain, flickering in and out of existence, finally demanifesting. SCP-5116-23 briefly displayed unique text, before violently shaking and spontaneously combusting. Within SCP-5116-B, the resident SCP-5116-A froze in position and demanifested, with SCP-5116-A-23 appearing in its place. Footnotes 1. Lacking sapience, agency, and corporeality. Often bound to objects as guardians. 2. Many of these residencies had been vacant for several years, with Dunn's house in particular having not been in use since his death in 19██. 3. Container of holy water, and associated sprinkler.

SCP-1769 is a 14-line section of non-functional script capable of infecting certain websites, specifically those with free user accounts and free communication between users.

*** Item #: SCP-1769 Object Class: Keter Special Containment Procedures: Due to the nature of SCP-1769, full containment is not possible at this time. As such, Foundation efforts are to be focused at neutralizing individual outbreaks as they occur. Containment procedures for SCP-1769 and SCP-1769-A are to be carried out at separate sites. Site-59 is to house personnel and equipment for detecting and neutralizing SCP-1769. Area-56 is to be kept at an undisclosed location, and will house infected subjects of SCP-1769-A. A continuous search algorithm targeting the script responsible for the phenomenon has been implemented to detect outbreaks, and personnel are required to directly monitor the most commonly-accessed vulnerable (see below) websites to minimize the rate of infection. Any website that is infected with SCP-1769 will have its host servers seized by Foundation personnel, then the lines of text responsible will be copied (in case of variation1) and deleted. All variations of the text are to be kept in a single text file on a flash-drive at Site-59. Access to the file is limited to personnel involved in containment and is only permitted for the addition of new variations or updating the search algorithm. Any instances of SCP-1769-A are to be quarantined at Area-56. The facility has been modified to operate without internet connection, and is reliant on telegraphy to communicate with other sites. Each individual subject is to be kept in a modified humanoid containment cell equipped with a Faraday Cage. A secondary layer Faraday Cage is to be maintained around the containment sector, and a tertiary layer is to be maintained around the entire facility. Under no circumstances are any computers, phones, or other devices capable of internet connection to be allowed on-site. The walls around each cell and the containment sector are to be sound-proofed, and at no time are personnel to enter the sector without ear protection. Lethal force is not to be used against subjects. Area-56 is to immediately notify Site-59 when an infected individual dies. Description: SCP-1769 is a 14-line section of non-functional script capable of infecting certain websites, specifically those with free user accounts and free communication between users. This occurs by the apparent self-introduction of the text into the website's page source, though the exact mechanism of this process is unknown. Any person with an active account that is currently logged in is considered to be exposed to the phenomenon. After accumulating approximately 225 minutes of total exposure, subjects will become infected. The human version of the infection is hereafter referred to as SCP-1769-A. The lines of script themselves consist of a 14-line English Sonnet titled [REDACTED], the nature of which is unclear, but has been linked to the vocalizations in the later stages of SCP-1769-A. The text itself exhibits no anomalous properties until they are introduced into the page source of a website that meets the aforementioned criteria. This can also occur through [DATA EXPUNGED], making it a priority that access to the containment file remain strictly controlled. SCP-1769-A infection will progress through five stages. Stage I: Subject will begin to retract from all forms of communication that are not internet-based (these include instant-messaging, commenting, video-communication). When inquired about this, they will respond as though this is normal, and describe other forms of communication as feeling "strange" or "disconnected"2. Stage II: Subject will refuse all forms of communication that are not internet-based3, and respond with hostility toward efforts to force them to communicate otherwise. Subjects will continue to "vocalize" at this stage, but this is not considered to be communication because it does not appear to be directed at anyone or anything in particular. These vocalizations are always in English (even if the subject is not familiar with the language) and tend to occur in iambic pentameter, often describing an entity called "The Beloved" that the subject interacts with online. These vocalizations will occur regardless of whether the subject has internet access. Stage III: Symptoms of Stage II persist. However, the subject will begin to emit radio waves4 consistent with a WLAN signal; this allows them to access the internet without technological medium, and can also be used to communicate with other infected individuals. References to "The Beloved" increase in frequency and subjects will demonstrate a slavish reverence for the object, often describing their willingness to do anything for it. Stage IV: Symptoms of Stage II and III persist. In addition, the vocalizations of subjects become anomalous in nature; any individual exposed to said vocalizations will become infected (bypassing the exposure phase). The specific nature of vocalizations at this stage is unknown due to these properties. Stage V: Subject will lapse into a coma, but continue to vocalize and emit radio waves. If a subject at this stage is allowed to access the internet, any communication elicited in this fashion will be in English, use iambic pentameter, and display the same anomalous properties as the vocalizations. Individuals that observe messages or comments left by Stage V subjects online will become infected. The infection is not lethal, but the coma has so far proved irreversible. If an individual infected with SCP-1769-A dies, there is a ██% chance that a new variation of the anomalous text will emerge. Addendum [1769-001]: Incident Report 1769-C3 On ██/██/20██ at 7:35 AM, the Foundation server at Site-117 was infected by SCP-1769. 5 instances of SCP-1769-A were produced by the event, and subsequently incarcerated at Site-56. This marked the first infection of a Foundation network by the phenomenon, and disproves the original hypothesis that the anomaly only affects public websites. To prevent recurrence, it has been mandated by O5 that all personnel be issued a single fee equal to 1 EUR for access to the Foundation's network. No further infections on Foundation servers have been reported, though personnel are to remain vigilant for the symptoms of SCP-1769-A. The possibility of a stage V individual contaminating the Foundation's network is an unacceptable risk. Footnotes 1. Thus far all variations have demonstrated some similar characteristics, allowing for them to be detected by a generalized algorithm. However, a generalized search takes considerably longer than the specific versions used to find established variations. 2. The majority of subjects use these exact same words. 3. Online communication of subjects in stages II, III, and IV thus far show no psychological anomalies, other than their aversion to alternate communication. 4. MRI and autopsy have confirmed the presence of a neural gland unique to infected individuals. The gland appears to develop during infection and is believed to be responsible for the radio waves. Non-lethal removal of the gland has so far proved impossible because it is fused to the hypothalamus.

SCP-6499 is a hardcover book, 252 pages long.

*** Item Locker at Site-196. When not directly viewed the object is inactive and no further procedures are required. Description: SCP-6499 is a hardcover book, 252 pages long. The front cover and spine are blank but the first page of the book features the title "Chapters on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy" with no extra information regarding the author, publisher or year, added. The book contains multiple chapters on psychological theory and practices ranging from meditation exercises to US Navy Seals techniques on keeping calm during a battle. SCP-6499 was discovered at the remains of a burned building in ████, ██████. The object came to the Foundation’s attention when field agents came across reports of a woman “miraculously” surviving a house fire completely unharmed. SCP-6499 was found intact at the site. WARNING: SECURITY IN SECTOR 2 HAS BEEN COMPROMISED. PERSONNEL NOT ASSIGNED CRITICAL TASKS ARE TO IMMEDIATELY SEEK SHELTER IN THE DESIGNATED SAFE ROOMS. SCP-6499 appears to be non-anomalous the vast majority of the time. SCP-6499 starts to manifest its anomalous properties when 3 criteria are met: An individual must be in the same room as SCP-6499 must be within line of sight of the object. A crisis situation in which the above mentioned individual is in a life threatening situation due to a hazardous environment or impending disaster. Subject must be in a state of high emotional distress. WARNING: SCP-████ AND SCP-███ HAVE BREACHED CONTAINMENT. CODE 196/A/RED. When all criteria are met, SCP-6499 will render both itself and the subject immune to all forms of conventional and unconventional injury or harm. From this point on, the subject should be referred to as SCP-6499-1. A secondary anomalous effect triggered during a crisis causes SCP-6499-1 to become completely apathetic to their surroundings and imminent danger. The subject, instead, displays mild boredom and will resume their task instead of trying to reach safety. SCP-6499 will cease its effects once both itself and SCP-6499-1 are no longer in immediate danger. Third, an amnestic effect will trigger, erasing all memories of the crisis situation from SCP-6499-1; causing mild confusion when questioned. WARNING: THE SITE IS EXPERIENCING MULTIPLE KETER AND EUCLID-CLASS CONTAINMENT BREACHES. FULL SITE-196 LOCKDOWN INITIATED. Addendum: SCP-6499 TESTS SUMMARY Foreword: Researchers are not to abort test, even when subject appears to be harmed. SCP-6499's anomalous effects only appear when subject is in actual danger. The Ethics Committee has provided approval for this protocol. 06/07/21 Test 3 (INCINERATION): D-class was instructed to enter a standard incineration chamber in which SCP-6499 was placed beforehand. Result: D-class experienced high emotional stress levels when gas filled the room. Emotional distress disappeared one second later. The subject looked briefly at the flames before sitting down on the floor with a sigh and started peeling his nails. When Researcher Dr L. Glasglow asked how the D-class felt during the incineration, he replied, “It’s okay.” D-class left the room without sustaining any damage to himself and his clothes. 12/07/2021 Test 5 (SUFFOCATION BY SUBMERSION): SCP-6499 was given to D-class to read in his cell. 15 minutes later, the cell was flooded with water. Result: After an initial display of horror at the rising water level, the subject sat down on the bed and continued reading while the water rose to his nose. D-class left the room with his clothes dry. 25/07/2021 Test 9 (ANOMALOUS AGGRESSORS): D-class was instructed to enter SCP-███’s containment chamber where SCP-6499 had been left earlier that day. Result: After a short moment of shock upon seeing SCP-███, the D-class sat down in the middle of the room. The D-class picked up the coloring book reserved for SCP-███ and started to draw with the crayons. SCP-███’s threats were ignored. SCP-███ began attacking the subject to no effect. WARNING: SCP-███, SCP-███ AND VARIOUS OTHER MEMETIC AND CONTAGIOUS ANOMALIES HAVE BREACHED THE LOCKDOWN. “FINAL REST” PROTOCOL HAS BEEN INITIATED. Addendum 2: SCP-6499 While preparing another test with SCP-6499, a sudden crisis situation emerged and SCP-6499’s effects were accidentally triggered. Dr L. Glaslow was caught in its effect as her colleagues left to counter the threat or seek shelter. Even though she was instructed to seek shelter as well, the subject prioritized acquiring coffee and finalizing the documentation she had been assigned. The subject did notice the guttural noises made when MTF-16-2 “Class Clowns” shot down infected D-class but ignored it. When instructed to stop, the subject continued to head for the coffee machine, finishing the document on her mobile phone. The subject felt no discomfort from the fire caused by SCP-███ or the mannequins that tried to strangle her. WARNING: THE SITE 196 NUCLEAR DEVICE HAS BEEN TRIGGERED. COUNTDOWN INITIATED: 10 9 8 The subject feels no discomfort as the nuclear device underneath her workplace was triggered and instead enjoyed a sip of good coffee while saving the final edits she made on the file. 4 3 2 1

SCP-1405 is a life-size, museum-quality model of an extinct giant ground sloth of the genus Megalonyx.

*** Item #: SCP-1405 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1405 is to be housed in a standard large-animal high-security enclosure at Bio-Research Site 13. Enclosure climate control should emulate the average conditions of spring or early summer in midwestern North America, as well as an appropriate day/night cycle. The enclosure is to be planted with vegetation consistent with a North American deciduous woodland, including several large trees to allow SCP-1405 to graze as it presumably would in the wild. Plant materials should be supplemented daily with 25 kg of fresh, high-quality hay and a source of clean water. Weekly treats consisting of 5 kg of plastic or silk imitation plant material may also be provided as rewards for good behavior. SCP-1405 is to be monitored at all times by a series of closed-circuit cameras. Personnel interactions are currently allowed only for feeding and cleaning duties to prevent causing distress to the subject. All other access must be approved by Dr. Haury, the onsite veterinarian. Update to Containment Procedures: While SCP-1405 itself is considered a low risk subject, following Incident 13-1405a (see Incident Report below) the subject is to be immediately relocated to a high security containment area to reduce the risk of a breach by external forces. Onsite security presence at Bio-Site 13 is to be increased immediately at both SCP-1405’s containment area and the site perimeter. Additional security cameras are to be installed on the exterior walls of the containment area, and the security feed is to be monitored at all times (see updates to protocols for Low-Security Containment Facilities.) Any change in SCP-1405’s behavior should be logged and immediately reported to Agent McComb or the security chief on duty. Description: SCP-1405 is a life-size, museum-quality model of an extinct giant ground sloth of the genus Megalonyx. The subject stands 2.9 m tall at the shoulder when resting on its hind legs, and weighs in excess of 350 kg. In its inactive (or camouflage) state, SCP-1405 appears to be a normal model: X-ray scans indicate it is composed primarily of plastic resin on an internal metal scaffolding. The subject’s anomalous properties become evident only when it is left undisturbed for a variable period of time (usually 6 to 8 hours, with a range of 45 minutes to 4 weeks). If undisturbed, SCP-1405 will enter its active state and begin moving around its enclosure, despite the fact that its body has no apparent musculature, internal organ structure, or even moveable joints. Hairs recovered from the enclosure during cleaning are primarily synthetic fiber, but a very small number (<1%) are mammalian hairs with mitochondrial DNA similar to that of extant sloth lineages. The subject’s active state behavior is comparable both to extant species of sloth and to other large herbivores. Most of its time is spent browsing on the vegetation in its enclosure, but it has also been observed sleeping in a ground nest constructed in a secluded area, scratching and rubbing on trees, and playing with various objects. Examination of high-definition video footage indicates muscles moving under a flexible hide and breathing movements in the chest, suggesting that the subject undergoes considerable morphological change between active and inactive states. SCP-1405 consumes plant material at a rate consistent with other mammalian herbivores of its size, but does not excrete. It greatly prefers an herbivorous diet, but will also consume meat, wood, plastics, plaster, and bite-sized pieces of metal. How it metabolizes food is unknown, and in its inactive state, it does not appear to need food, oxygen, or sleep. It has also exhibited a fondness for decorative imitation plant material, which appears to have been its primary diet before being placed in Foundation custody. If startled, SCP-1405 will instantly revert to its inactive state, “posing” by sitting on its hind legs with one forearm raised. It appears able to maintain this state indefinitely, and will not react to any stimuli, including physical trauma. SCP-1405 retains memories of events during its inactive state: after the removal of tissue samples and other traumatic tests, it remained inactive much longer and behaved in a nervous, agitated manner after returning to its active state. While agitated the subject may become destructive, and has caused significant damage to its enclosure attempting to breach containment. For this reason, unnecessary human exposure has been suspended. When allowed to remain active, damage caused in the inactive state will heal at approximately 3 times the normal rate. Recovery Log: SCP-1405 was discovered on display in a large diorama at the ████ ████ Museum of Natural History in 1992, in the pose it maintains while inactive. Museum inventory indicates that the original sculpture was created in 1978 by Alicia Mayberry, an artist routinely employed by the museum. None of the artist’s other works exhibit anomalous properties. SCP-1405 was displayed for twelve years, and exhibited no anomalous properties during this time. It came to the Foundation’s attention when Agent McComb, embedded in the ██████ Police Department, responded to reports of repeated vandalism at the ████ ████ Museum of Natural History. In May of 1992 the doors of the museum were found smashed open, as though impacted by a large object travelling at considerable speed. SCP-1405 itself also exhibited considerable damage, including a number of long, jagged cuts to its back and face, large bald patches, and several broken claws and teeth. It was repaired and returned to display. Dried patches of a clear, sticky liquid, reported by police as some type of glue, were found on the door, in the museum foyer and near the subject’s diorama. No testing on the liquid was conducted, but examination of crime scene photographs indicate that the spatter pattern is consistent with blood spatter from a large, wounded animal. Approximately once per three months thereafter, museum employees found all decorative vegetation in SCP-1405’s area stripped bare. SCP-1405 itself appeared to undergo rapid deterioration of claws and teeth, and would consistently lose large patches of hair despite repeated restorations. Agent McComb contacted the Foundation, and SCP-1405 was removed from display and placed in a standard containment facility at Site-19. Surveillance cameras first observed it entering its active state three weeks later, whereupon it was reclassified as a living organism and transported to Bio-Site 13. Addendum A: Dr. Haury has noted that the recurring damage to SCP-1405 while on display as a museum piece (hair loss, tooth and nail degradation, etc.) are consistent with symptoms of chronic malnutrition and insufficient living space in large mammals, and its active state behavior is often consistent with zoo and circus animals subjected to long-term abuse. These symptoms have not been observed since the current containment protocols were adopted. Addendum B: Plans to gradually acclimatize SCP-1405 to human interaction approved as of May 2011, when the subject was observed returning to its active state only ten minutes after cleaning personnel exited the enclosure. SCP-1405 has since returned to active state with a researcher present in the enclosure several times, provided the researcher remains still and silent, and recently remained active while cleaning personnel were present. It is hoped that acclimatizing SCP-1405 to human presence will allow further research into its active state functions, as well as a potential insight into the behavior of a prehistoric species. Document 1405-1: Additional notes from Dr. Haury, attending veterinarian The current containment procedure for SCP-1405 gives the impression that the subject is some kind of statue that comes to life. Personally, I no longer believe this to be accurate. The events that brought SCP-1405 to our attention, as well as its ability to massively alter its physiology between animate and inanimate states, suggest to me that we do not have a magical sculpture of a sloth: what we have is another entity entirely, which found a sculpture of a sloth to be a convenient hiding place. This hypothesis does raise the question of why it chose to be a sloth, and if it could be persuaded to enter and animate similar objects. Perhaps an object that doesn't eat 200 kg of hay a week. —Dr Haury Incident 13-1405a Log: At 0125 hours on December 13, 2012, the north-facing exterior wall of SCP-1405’s containment chamber was impacted at considerable speed by an unobserved object. The object was of sufficient mass and travelling at speeds high enough to crush the exterior cinder block and distend the interior steel wall, although the containment cell was not breached. The external walls showed multiple deep scratch marks in a pattern comparable to a bear or other large predator’s claws. Perimeter security cameras did not record any object or person entering the facility compound. A vertical tear in the southwest section of perimeter fence was found following the incident: the fencing appears to have been cut with a knife or similar sharp object. An external camera near SCP-1405’s containment chamber recorded the impact and damage to the building, but the object causing the damage is not visible in the footage. This camera and the cameras in SCP-1405’s enclosure recorded scraping and clawing sounds which continued for four minutes following the impact. For approximately 24 hours prior to the incident, SCP-1405 exhibited signs of considerable distress, pacing constantly and refusing to eat or drink. It was observed staring intently at the north wall of its enclosure and emitting whining and growling vocalizations. 2 hours prior to the incident, the subject entered its inactive state without apparent provocation, situated with its back to the south wall and its paws raised to cover its face and head, in the only known deviation from its normal inactive pose. The subject remained inactive in this position for two weeks following the incident, and behaved in an agitated manner for several weeks after becoming active again.

SCP-2711 is a large iron needle, 33 centimeters in length and 3 centimeters in diameter at its thickest.

*** Item #: SCP-2711 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2711 is stored in a waterproof compartment in Storage Unit-25, Site-148. Testing of SCP-2711 must be conducted on-site, away from any bodies of water. Related non-anomalous items are stored in Storage Unit-26. Description: SCP-2711 is a large iron needle, 33 centimeters in length and 3 centimeters in diameter at its thickest. It does not show any signs of deterioration or rust. SCP-2711's anomalous effect activates once it comes in contact with bodies of water of more than 20 liters in volume. SCP-2711 alters the affected body of water so that it takes on all of the physical properties of iron under the same temperature (except appearance)1 while retaining its chemical components. The affected water is hence referred to as SCP-2711-1. The effect spreads at an initial speed of 20 liters per second and doubles every five minutes. The conversion process will stop once all of the water has been turned into SCP-2711-1. Water added at this point will not be affected. As long as there is more than 20 liters of SCP-2711-1 attached to SCP-2711, SCP-2711-1 will retain its current state. Otherwise, SCP-2711-1 will instantly turn back to normal water. Two sets of inscriptions are found on SCP-2711: The first set is confirmed to be in the same script used by SCP-2481-3, which is alleged to be the script used in Xia Dynasty. A deep strike crosses the text out. 伏羲之针，禹王复铸，定诸水、困凶兽、止洪灾。 The needle of Fuxi, reforged by King Yu2 to calm/still/solidify the waters, trap the fierce/ominous beasts and stop the floods. The second set is confirmed to be in small seal script3. Unlike the first set, the text is crudely engraved. 如意棒 Ruyi Bang/Stick that Adheres to One's Wishes Addendum: SCP-2711 was found in the right paw of a non-anomalous rhesus macaque (Macaca mulatta), embedded 2.3 meters below the surface of a lake on Mount Tongbai, Henan Province, China. The lake was converted into SCP-2711-1 at the time of discovery. The body of the rhesus macaque dates back to around 600 CE4, but is well-preserved. The subject was found in an approximation of the Lotus Position. It wore the common attire of Buddhist monks of its time, but the clothing was heavily torn. Further examination reveals that the subject died of suffocation. Upon the removal of SCP-2711, SCP-2711-1 turned back into lake water. The terrain quickly became unstable and the lake was destroyed by a mudslide. A damaged well was discovered under the lake during the subsequent clean-up. The well is made entirely of iron and is 66 meters deep. Broken chains and a lock composed of a beryllium-bronze alloy were discovered inside the well. Footnotes 1. For example, under room temperature, SCP-2711-1 possesses the qualities of solid iron while maintaining appearance of water. 2. Also known as Yu the Great, who is allegedly the first king of Xia Dynasty, and is famous for his flood control. 3. Standardized and introduced as the national standard during Qin Dynasty in China. 4. Around the establishment of Tang Dynasty.

SCP-051 is a 25cm (10 in) anatomically correct model of a human female, carved out of ivory, with typically Asian features.

*** Item #: SCP-051 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-051 and SCP-051-A are to be kept in a sealed containment facility. SCP-051-A is kept within a locked, climate-controlled document box with a viewing window, to prevent degradation of its material. Any personnel (with the exception of pregnant or non-sterile female personnel, who might not be aware of an early-stage pregnancy) may access SCP-051 as long as a request is placed before-hand and cleared by site administration. Description: SCP-051 is a 25 cm (10 in) anatomically correct model of a human female, carved out of ivory, with typically Asian features. Microscopic analysis shows that the head hair is human hair. The doll is jointed at the shoulders, hips, and knees. The 'stomach' area of the doll is fully removable as a 'cap' of ivory, exposing a detailed ribcage and organs, and a 2.5 cm (1 in) ivory fetus connected to the main figure by a leather cord umbilicus. When brought into the presence of a pregnant human female, SCP-051 has various deleterious effects upon the pregnancy, generally resulting in miscarriage of the fetus. Reports include a gentle compulsion to handle the model, open its stomach cap and take out the fetus. This results in nausea and cramping within 5 minutes, vaginal bleeding that begins as spotting and may progress to hemorrhage within the next half-hour, and miscarriage within 2 - 24 hours in most recorded cases. Medical records indicate that the aborted fetuses bear moderate to severe defects. Pregnancies carried to term after exposure to the model have resulted in severely deformed live births, including ██ deaths of the mothers and ██ infants terminated after birth by the delivering physician (see interview 051-1 below). Witnesses to these live births showed signs of severe emotional trauma that was alleviated, after Foundation interviews, by administration of a Class A amnestic. SCP-051-A is a fragment of text on rice paper that was discovered with SCP-051. The surviving text is written with plant-derived ink test-dated to the 12th century, and the characters have been identified as a known early dialect of Japanese. Translation reveals the text is part of a prayer or spell against 'demons' that attack unborn babies. The incantation orders these forces or demons into the model, instead of a pregnant woman, and claims to trap them there. However, centuries have degraded the paper and ink so that the full incantation and instructions, if any, cannot be deciphered. Addendum: SCP-051 and SCP-051-A were discovered in a box of early Japanese artifacts delivered anonymously to the ██████████ Museum in 1938. After 60 years and a number of incidents resulting from contact by female secretaries, researchers, and students, an Agent on staff in the museum's archives learned of its properties and obtained it for Foundation study. Interview 051-1

SCP-5760 is a mummified body, located beneath Site-19 during expansion efforts.

*** Item #: SCP-5760 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5760 is currently being held within the dry item storage wing of Site-19. Access to SCP-5760 is limited to those with Level 4 clearance. Description: SCP-5760 is a mummified body, located beneath Site-19 during expansion efforts. Carbon dating shows that SCP-5760 is approximately 40,000 years old. Despite its extreme age, SCP-5760 is remarkably intact. While it was found encased in stone, it appears as if it had been preserved in ice. Traces of ink have been found within SCP-5760's inner left wrist, indicating SCP-5760 had a tattoo at some point, although it has been rendered unreadable through decay. Any damage made to SCP-5760 repairs at an extremely rapid pace, with a large cut to the abdomen during an attempted autopsy fully closing itself within 15 seconds. The nervous system of SCP-5760, however, is fully intact and functional. Brain scans taken of SCP-5760 show that despite its state, it is still fully conscious. It is unknown exactly how much SCP-5760 is able to perceive in its otherwise dessiccated state. No further anomalies have been found associated with SCP-5760. Addendum-A-1: When SCP-5760 was recovered, it was found clutching an extremely aged piece of paper. Due to the age of the paper, it has been rendered nearly unreadable. Restoration efforts are currently underway. > O5-7 HAS ATTACHED TWO FILES TO SCP-5760. ACCESS FILES? yes > ACCESSING MATERIALS… > DISPLAYING FILE 1/2 ▷ DNA ANALYSIS RESULTS OF SCP-5760 10/26/19 ▽ DNA ANALYSIS RESULTS OF SCP-5760 10/26/19 Following the discovery of SCP-5760's working nervous system, Foundation researchers performed a DNA Analysis. Once the results had been found and put within the Foundation network, it was immediately flagged as a Level 5, high threat document and an automatic protocol deployed MTF Alpha-1 ("Red Right Hand") to the site. The official story, the ones even you and the other O5s received, was that it was, as intially thought, just an error. It was not. At face value, the results are almost entirely benign, nothing out of the ordinary. However, they were flagged because they showed an exact match with a member of the O5 council. Specifically, O5-4. I don't know what he's been up to, but this, along with the second file I've attached, shows me that right now we can't trust him. I know you can keep a secret, Six. O5-4 doesn't even know that this exists and I want it to stay that way. And see if you can find anything out about this "Wondertainment." > DISPLAYING FILE 2/2 ▷ Restored Document-5760-909  ▽ Restored Document-5760-909 Wow! After popular demand, we've brought back a brand new set of Little Misters, a limited edition collection from Dr. Wondertainment! I'm sorry. Find them all and become the Brand New Mr. Collector! 00. Mr. Prologue 01. Mr. Dark 02. Mr. Remembrance 03. Mr. Toxic 04. Mr. Collector ✔ 05. Mx. Voltage 06. ██. Gears 07. Mr. Memory 08. Mr. Nobody 09. Mr. Brainy 10. Ms. Seraph 11. Mr. Chronal and Mr. Dimension 12. Mr. Fish 13. Mr. Epilogue 14. Mr. Redd (Discontinued)

SCP-2549 is a phenomenon which affects one human being and one wild animal per incident.

*** Item #: SCP-2549 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: Worldwide news sources are monitored for events matching the pattern of SCP-2549. In the event of an SCP-2549 incident, elements of MTF Gamma-5 will be mobilized to the location. Any mention of the anomalous circumstances of the incident will be censored from the media, and any non-Foundation witnesses will be administered amnestics and given false memories matching the cover story provided to the media. To prevent a pattern from being established, the cover story for an SCP-2549 incident should not involve an animal attack unless no other explanation is practical. The SCP-2549-1 involved in an incident is not anomalous and is not a priority for capture. If it has already been captured, it may be surrendered to animal control or euthanized and disposed of. SCP-2549-2 is stored in the Temporal Anomaly subdivision of Site-77. Testing is disallowed by O5 order. Description: SCP-2549 is a phenomenon which affects one human being and one wild animal per incident. The exact criteria for the human subject is unclear, but it appears to invariably target those who have achieved great personal and/or professional success. Notably, an abnormally high percentage of the targets have been Foundation employees or have had contact with the Foundation. This has included 2 individuals once considered for D-Class induction, 3 potential agent and researcher candidates, 6 high ranking researchers, 2 executive administrators, [REDACTED]. The animal, referred to as SCP-2549-1, is an otherwise normal member of the order Carnivora which is native to the area of the human target. It is not known whether SCP-2549-1 is chosen from existing nearby animals, teleported to the area, or generated nearby. There is no record of a GPS tracked animal being chosen as SCP-2549-1. SCP-2549-1 will proceed towards the target at a walking pace. It will navigate any obstacles, displaying a knowledge of landscape, building layout, and security measures in order to find the shortest path. Security systems will not malfunction, but will be bypassed through mundane means. Any physical implements necessary will be carried by SCP-2549-1 in its jaws or in a clothing item. Humans other than the target will react to SCP-2549-1 without surprise, and may interact with it as if it is an acquaintance, coworker, or relative. SCP-2549-1 will respond to interaction in as much of a capacity as it can. At no point will any person attempt to interfere with SCP-2549-1's progress towards the target. Upon reaching the target, SCP-2549-1 will attack and begin to devour them. The target may remain alive and conscious for an extended period of time, but will make no attempt to resist SCP-2549-1. Upon the target's death, the anomalous effect ends. At this point, individuals not previously exposed to SCP-2549-1 will react as expected to the situation. Those previously exposed to SCP-2549-1 will react normally once given an opportunity to recognize the incongruence of the situation. SCP-2549-1 may lose interest and wander away or become agitated and attack other humans in the area, but all investigation has shown it to be nonanomalous after the death of the target. SCP-2549-2 is a 10cm diameter steel sphere. [DATA EXPUNGED] See Addendum 2549-A. + Incident Record - Incident Record: Incident 2549-3 Date: 3/2/1963 Target: Albert T. Thorpe Location: Castaways Casino, Las Vegas NV Animal: Canis latrans (Coyote) Notes: Target was well known high roller. Became wealthy through well timed investment in ███ stock. Death occurred on main casino floor. Largest recorded exposure; all witnesses identified and handled. Incident 2549-4 Date: 7/12/1963 Target: CDR Donald Fleming Location: USS Halibut, ██°N ███°W, Bering Sea Animal: Enhydra lutris (Sea Otter) Notes: Target had been a Foundation agent candidate in 1936, after which he had a decorated naval officer career. Submarine performed an unscheduled surfacing to allow SCP-2549-1 entrance. Ship crew identified SCP-2549-1 as CPO S. O. Vadas. Incident 2549-12 Date: 11/24/1971 Target: Alberto José Alvarez Location: Santa Leticia Soup Kitchen, Bogotá, Colombia Animal: Panthera onca (Jaguar) Notes: Target had been evaluated for D-Class status in 1963, then was released on parole. Owner of soup kitchen. SCP-2549-1 acquired and consumed a bowl of soup, then pierced target's skull with canine teeth causing instant death. Subsequently startled by crowd and escaped. Incident 2549-62 Date: 5/29/1991 Target: A. Zulu Nzimande Location: Mansion, Cape Town, South Africa Animal: Suricata suricatta (Meerkat) Notes: Target was small time criminal, became notorious crime boss after assassinating and deposing previous kingpin. Due to small relative size of SCP-2549-1, attack was prolonged to approximately 15 hours. Multiple shifts of security guards ignored the assault. Witnesses identified SCP-2549-1 as target's lieutenant, Timon M. Vadas. Incident 2549-65 Date: 8/3/1993 Target: Bradley S. Thompson Location: Residence, Fort Collins CO Animal: Canis latrans (Coyote) Notes: Target left police force in 1947 due to stress, subsequently reconciled with estranged spouse. SCP-2549-1 consumed target unusually slowly, incident continued until death 3 days later. Spouse identified SCP-2549-1 as grandson Willy Edgar Vadas. Posthumous package received from target. See Addendum 2549-A. Incident 2549-79 Date: 9/13/2002 Target: Dr. G. Taylor Location: Site-██, [DATA EXPUNGED] Animal: Gulo gulo (Wolverine) Notes: Requested retirement in 1995. After withdrawing request, made research breakthrough earning promotion to lead researcher. For details of death, see Incident Log 2549-79. Incident 2549-80 Date: 9/13/2002 Target: Ursula Anderssen Location: McMurdo Station, Antarctica Animal: Hydrurga leptonix (Leopard Seal) Notes: Target was successful Foundation researcher candidate in 1954, but declined position. Spouse was prospective agent, met during same Foundation recruitment exercise. After rejection, target had successful academic career. SHOWING 7 OF 147 ENTRIES + Incident Log 2549-79 - Incident Log 2549-79: The following log includes all pertinent information captured by security footage during this incident. The Foundation security badge used by SCP-2549-1 to access Lab-██. SCP-2549-1 approaches Site-██ vehicle access gate. SCP-2549-1 proceeds under the gate without incident. The 3 gate guards do not noticeably react. SCP-2549-1 continues into Site-██ Primary Facility lobby and approaches the security kiosk. The guard on duty looks down over the counter to examine SCP-2549-1 Guard Stevens: Good morning Dr. Vadas. Late again, huh? SCP-2549-1: [Growls] Guard Stevens: I understand. You'll have to fill out Form 83-A again, though. You know how it goes. The guard provides the required form and a pen. SCP-2549-1 hops onto the counter. Guard Stevens: I hope Johnny feels better soon. Are those antibiotics helping at all? SCP-2549-1: [Extended growls] SCP-2549-1 grips the pen in its jaws, breaking it and spilling ink over the document and countertop. It then dips a paw into a pool of ink and spreads more ink onto the form, shredding the form and damaging the countertop. Guard Stevens: Yah, I hear you. Middle school can be tough. She'll handle it, though. Anyway, glad to hear about Johnny. Have a nice day. SCP-2549-1: [Growls] The guard opens the outer security door and SCP-2549-1 continues. SCP-2549-1 passes Drs. Drake and Lindholm in the hall. SCP-2549-1: [Growls] Dr. Drake: [Laughs] You know it! Dr. Lindholm: Ugh. Pigs. [Laughs] SCP-2549-1: [Chatters] SCP-2549-1 continues to Lab-██. It removes its badge (pictured) from its lab coat with its teeth, and proceeds to climb the doorframe. The badge is scanned, opening the door. Lead Researcher Taylor and Junior Researcher Longstaff turn to face SCP-2549-1 as it enters the lab and approaches Lead Researcher Taylor. Dr. Taylor: I deserve this. Dr. Longstaff: You deserve this. Dr. Taylor: I have lived this life. The price is paid. Dr. Longstaff turns back to his work. SCP-2549-1 attacks Dr. Taylor, disemboweling him. Target falls to the floor in apparent shock. SCP-2549-1 begins to devour target's entrails, eliciting screams. Dr. Longstaff does not respond. Approximately 3 minutes later, Dr. Taylor's screams fade in intensity and his vital signs alarm is triggered. It is deactivated by Guard Donahue with the note "FALSE ALARM Dr Vadas eating lunch again." Approximately 2 minutes later Dr. Taylor expires. Vital signs alarm is triggered again. 14 seconds later Guards Donahue and Franklin enter the lab and neutralize SCP-2549-1. Dr. Longstaff turns around in surprise. Dr. Longstaff: Oh my Lord, you shot Dr. Vadas! After the incident, personnel removed all references to Dr. Vadas from security and employment databases. Employment database contained no details beyond employment of SCP-2549-1, and all existing entries had been created at the start of the incident. Those exposed to SCP-2549-1 clearly remembered the encounter, but memory of SCP-2549-1 itself was limited to superficial facts: that there was an employee named Dr. Vadas, his son was ill and his daughter in middle school, and he was a wolverine. This did not cause any cognitive dissonance until recalled after the event. Dr. Longstaff could not answer why he stated Dr. Taylor deserved to be targeted. Addendum 2549-A: On 8/7/1993, a package arrived at Site-11 addressed to ██████ █ ████, the proper current code phrase for direct delivery to Site Director Hernandez. The package was dated 12/19/1947 and contained SCP-2549-2 and the following letter: ████ ███ █████ ████ █████ ████ ███ ██████████ ██ ███ ███ ██ █████ FOR SITE DIR HERNANDEZ EYES ONLY SR AGENT BRADLEY S THOMPSON REPRTNG CODE ████████████ THIS IS CAUSE OF SCP-2549 CODE ████████ TRUST ME DO NOT TEST ANYMR ██ ███ ███ ███ CANNOT DO WHAT YOU NEDE IT TODO THE OTHRS FORGOT I AM ALREDY FORGETING YOU HAVE LOST IT BEFORE DONT LOSE AGN END REPRT While there is no record of Incident 2549-65 target Bradley S. Thompson being a Foundation agent, all signs and countersigns were current and accurate. In light of this and the date of the package, SCP-2549-2 has been identified as a retrocausal hazard. Documentation is sealed and the item is to be placed in permanent storage by order of O5-██. + Enter Level 4 Credentials: - Credentials accepted... Date: 8/8/1993 To: Site-11 Director Hernandez From: O5-██ Subject: Re: SCP-2549 direction requested S25╖K ƒ♫ Ü○b8╙ ╪ÆQ 57I 22u should §ƒ Your concern is well-founded Director. It is good you brought this to my attention. I am less concerned than you about the potential impact to the Foundation. While it is clear the anomaly has claimed a number of valuable personnel and will continue to do so, it is also clear that it would be difficult to predict and impossible to mitigate this effect. Fortunately, we can now discount SCP-2549 as a targeted attack on the Foundation, and the pattern you have pointed out indicates it has not decreased and, in some cases, has increased the effectiveness of Foundation assets, in both the past and the future. You cannot be aware of the extent to which O5-█'s actions benefitted your site and you personally, prior to their demise. Meanwhile, we cannot discount the possibility of a compulsion to seek the aid of SCP-2549, and regardless, the promise of a happier, more successful life may have a corrupting influence despite the price that is exacted. More importantly, it is clear that any testing of the item that has come into your possession will result in a containment breach and, considering the reward provided to Agent Thompson for his perseverance in returning it to our custody, it may prove impossible to reacquire. You have my approval to proceed with your plan of action regarding SCP-2549. Directive mnemonic: ██-██████ S25╖K ƒ♫ Ü○b8╙ ╪ÆQ 57I 22u should §ƒ As always, thank you for your dedication. It does not go unnoticed. O5-██

SCP-2659 is a biological entity residing at the bottom of the Ligurian basin of the Mediterranean Sea (coordinates: N 43° 42' ████", E 8° 50' ████").

*** Item #: SCP-2659 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: The area surrounding SCP-2659 has been designated a marine wildlife protection area. Maritime activity within the protected area requires the approval of a Foundation front masquerading as a joint French-Italian environmental protection task force. Enforcement of the containment procedures is currently the responsibility of the SCPS Lilium (current designation: ITS ██████████ ████████). Embedded agents within regional cetacean conservation organisations are to track potentially-affected instances of Balaenoptera physalus in the Mediterranean Sea and take all steps necessary to conceal the location of SCP-2659 from civilians, up to the interception and termination of affected whales. Description: SCP-2659 is a biological entity residing at the bottom of the Ligurian basin of the Mediterranean Sea (coordinates: N 43° 42' ████", E 8° 50' ████"). It is light gray in colour, cylindrical in shape and measures 56.5 m long and 0.9 m in diameter. It has no external organs save for a thin, segmented appendage extending from one end of its body. Its body is covered in a thick layer of smooth mammalian skin and blubber. Enhanced imaging shows no sign of internal bone structure or organs. Outside of the manipulation of its segmented appendage and twitching in response to tactile stimulus, SCP-2659 is incapable of independent movement. Instances of Balaenoptera physalus (finback whale) in or near the Mediterranean Sea and approximately over the age of 100 years are compelled to separate from their groups and swim towards SCP-2659. The mechanism by which a whale is able to locate SCP-2659 is unknown. Upon reaching within 300 m of SCP-2659, the affected whale will swim in an anticlockwise spiral at gradually increasing depth, eventually prostrating itself before the segmented appendage of SCP-2659 and ceasing all movement. At this point, SCP-2659 will insert the entirety of the segmented appendage into the blowhole of the whale. This act causes extreme physical injury to the whale, passing down its trachea and often puncturing its lungs and heart before curving upwards and piercing into the spinal column. Despite this, the affected whale does not appear to be in any pain. After a period of five to six minutes, the appendage will rapidly withdraw, extracting a length of mildly luminescent white solid which is quickly absorbed into the tip of the appendage. All whales observed to undergo this process have expired due to severe internal bleeding. SCP-2659 has performed this procedure on an estimated 2,000 finback whales since its discovery in 2001.

SCP-4701 is a Conestoga covered wagon, a model used between the late 18th century and the mid 19th century.

*** Item #: SCP-4701 Object Class: Euclid SCP-4701 as it was originally recovered at the Lancaster Museum of History. Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4701 is to be kept in a locked vehicle shed at Site-11. The clamps affixed to SCP-4701’s wheels are not to be loosened or removed by personnel, and animals may not be hitched to the item regardless of the condition of the clamps. Bob Dylan and members of Old Crow Medicine Show have been designated PoI 4701-1 through -11. Covers of the song "Wagon Wheel" are to be suppressed from reaching "hit status,” which is measured using chart placement on the Billboard Hot 100. Should a cover attain such status, civilians in Burbank, California who witness impact/landing events are to be administered amnestics. Robert Zimmerman, known as Bob Dylan. Ketch Secor (pictured playing harmonica, far left) performing with Old Crow Medicine Show. Description: SCP-4701 is a Conestoga covered wagon, a model used between the late 18th century and the mid 19th century. SCP-4701 is in excellent condition, with no apparent environmental damage, despite having been made in 1790 in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. There is no evidence of restoration; all woodwork and metalwork is original. SCP-4701-1 is a humanoid object resembling American singer, songwriter and poet Robert Zimmerman, known professionally as Bob Dylan, as he appeared in 1972.  SCP-4701-1 is able to freely stand uninhibited, but is biologically deceased. Should SCP-4701 become mobile via both being hitched to an animal capable of spinning its wheels on their axis, and having its wheels freed from any restraints, it will begin to independently move forward. No force (driver, animals, people outside the wagon, objects) will be able to stop the cart’s forward motion until it reaches SCP-4701-1. Once it comes within less than a meter of SCP-4701-1, all motion abruptly stops save for the front left wheel, which attracts SCP-4701-1 through an unknown force, pinning the object to the spokes and rotating it between seven and eleven times at close to 200 kph. As this occurs, a disembodied female voice will vocalize the phrases "This bitch empty" and "Yeet! (sic)" This audio is identical to one in a short video posted in 2014 to the social network Vine1. Following this, SCP-4701-1 is flung from the wheel into the mesosphere at high speeds, where it arcs from the current location of SCP-4701 towards the approximate location of a sound recording booth at Burbank Studios, Burbank, California. Notably, Bob Dylan was recording the soundtrack to the 1973 movie Pat Garrett and Billy The Kid at that studio in 1972. One of the songs recorded, but not included on the soundtrack, is an improvised outtake referred to as "Rock Me Mama", which was subsequently released on bootleg recordings.  The recordings released do not contain a section of audio containing a loud crash (presumed to be SCP-4701 violently landing inside the studio) which is followed by panicked shouting.  Dylan was given amnestics years after the event. The edited recording was subsequently adapted by country musicians Ketch Secor and Chris Fuqua into a song called "Wagon Wheel" which was recorded by their band Old Crow Medicine Show and released on February 24, 2004. A cover of "Wagon Wheel" was released on January 7, 2013 by Darius Rucker and reached 15 on the US Billboard Hot 100. On the 2004 date, SCP-4701 animated spontaneously and began to travel forward. In addition to SCP-4701-1, a second object identical to Secor as he appeared on that date, designated SCP-4701-2, appeared and underwent an identical occurrence to SCP-4701-1; however, SCP-4701-2 was attracted to and subsequently launched from the front right wheel. Another incident occurred on the 2013 date, although the manifested entity (SCP-4701-3) resembled Rucker and was launched from the rear left wheel. In total three bodies are launched towards the Burbank Studio each time. The exact manufacturer of the Conestoga wagon2 and the poster of the Vine video are both unknown, with both individuals missing from the historical record and a list of users provided by Twitter Inc, respectively. Addendum-1: As of 2025, covers of the song by Thomas Rhett and Anna DeWitt Jones have charted in the United States, reaching “hit status” despite Foundation efforts at suppression.  Additionally, the Old Crow Medicine Show version was sampled on the song "Southbound Train" by Aubrey Graham3,  Jason Tybalt4 and Jahron Brathwaite5, with production by Shane Lindstrom6. Each of these songs has created another numbered SCP-4701 corpse (-4 through -9) being added to SCP-4701, with the wagon generating new wheels for each individual. The amount of corpses landing on the roof of the Burbank studio has put significant strain on the building, and the studio complex has been purchased by a Foundation front company. Addendum-2: Following the [REDACTED], Robert Zimmerman passed away; after which, SCP-4701 animated again. Only SCP-4701-1 appeared, and upon being spun on the wheel, was launched out of Earth's atmosphere. The object emitted a distorted voice similar to Dylan, repeating the words "yeet motherfuckers" as it ascended. As of two weeks following the event, SCP-4701-1 has left the solar system, headed towards Barnard's Star. Footnotes 1. This video has since achieved popular status as an internet meme, and the word 'yeet' has entered the culture as slang for abruptly throwing an object. 2. Typically identified through a manufacturer’s mark on the metalwork, this mark is missing. 3. known as Drake 4. known as SKPJCK Tuna 5. known as PartyNextDoor 6. known as Murda Beatz

SCP-4139 is a medium sized, white, single-door fridge/freezer of unknown brand and make.

*** Item #: SCP-4139 Object Class: Safe SCP-4139 Hover to enlarge‏‏‎ ‎ Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4139 is to be kept in secure containment lockup with all SCP-4139-1/6 attached, at Site-45 outside of testing. The password to the combination lock affixed to SCP-4139 is restricted to level 2 personnel. If SCP-4139 exhibits unusual noises or rocking, research leader Samuels must be contacted along with site security to allow for acquisition of POI-326. Description: SCP-4139 is a medium sized, white, single-door fridge/freezer of unknown brand and make. SCP-4139-1 through -6 refers to 6 crude drawings depicting people and objects in various activities, including picnicking, space travel, and intercourse. Aside from a combination lock affixed to the front door, SCP-4139 has no electrical components. The back of SCP-4139 consists of a small assembly of pipes, ending in two curved openings. SCP-4139-1/6 instances act as a control board for SCP-4139, meaning that the manipulation of their placement on the front of SCP-4139 can alter its properties. These properties only take effect when SCP-4139-1/6 are connected to SCP-4139 through the use of magnetism. SCP-4139 functions as a non-anomalous fridge cooling at 1.6°C as long as SCP-4139-1/6 are attached to it. The relation between the arrangement of SCP-4139-1/6 and the effects are not fully understood, prompting a trial and error approach to research. Addendum 1: As of writing, these are the known orientations of SCP-4139-1/6 and their properties: + Show table - Close SCP-4139-1/6 Position Outcome A gas chemically similar to class A amnestic is released from the holes on the back of SCP-4139 until the orientation of SCP-4139-1/6 is altered. The gas vents at a low rate, tending to take many hours to effectively fill a standard test chamber. SCP-4139 decreases in weight by a factor of 12, and straps emerge from the back of SCP-4139 allowing for it to be carried. The internal topography of SCP-4139 increases irrespective to its external size. Space inside SCP-4139 measures at 10m by 6m by 50m, with the fridge shelves expanding to fit the internal walls. Leaving the door open while this takes place pauses its growth and causes SCP-4139 to emit 10db beeps every 3 seconds. Discolouration on SCP-4139 immediately disappears, slowly followed by the reforming of dents on its external surface and the regeneration of rusted surfaces. Extensive rust damage can take many days to fully repair. SCP-4139 increases in weight by a factor of 4. The holes on the back of SCP-4139 begin to emit low levels of red and yellow light, similar to candlelight. A flexible camera tube was extended down the pipe; after 3m of tube was released into the pipe, the camera emerged out the other pipe entrance. Analyses of the path taken by the camera are non-euclidian, as the pipe would need to extend beyond the scale of SCP-4139. The holes on the back of SCP-4139 eject wooden splinters at between 4-60km/h, roughly every 12 seconds. Analysis of wood shows a wide variety of sources. SCP-4139-1/6 begins to flash slowly, each luminescing in a different colour. As there are multiple images flashing at different intervals, this can effectively light up a room, but the difference in colour is irritating and impractical. SCP-4139-1/6 instances begin to flap as if being blown by a strong northerly wind. The accuracy of this phenomena allows SCP-4139 to be used as a compass. SCP-4139-1/6 instances begin to flap as if blown by a wind blowing in the general direction of the hotel room SCP-4139 and POI-326 were recovered from. Due to the extensive possible arrangements of SCP-4139-1/6, it is unknown how many phenomena can be produced through the manipulation of SCP-4139. Estimates based on current ratio of successful to unsuccessful combinations suggest that there may be 50 to 9900 separate phenomena possible. Addendum 2: The following is the Audio/Video log transcript from the raid on POI-326's hotel apartment, in which SCP-4139 was discovered. + Show log - Close Recovery Team Audio/Video Log Transcript Date: 28/6/██ Exploration Team: MTF-Delta 11 ("Wonderers") Subject: ██████, WA, Australia Team Lead: D11-Cap Team Members: D11-1 / D11-2 / D11-3 / D11-4 / D11-Sup Notes: Delta-10 had been tracking the movements of POI-326 since his initial connection with Dr. Wondertainment as a contract carrier in association with SCP-████. The incursions objective was to capture POI-326 for interrogation, and possible containment of related anomalous materials. [BEGIN LOG] D11-Sup: Audio and visual recording online. Fun's over. D11-Cap: That's right Johansson, you wouldn't want that on official record. D11-2 chuckles. D11-Cap: When we get up there, we're looking to apprehend three twenty-six as quickly as possible. Mr. Manchild1 said that he noticed old-english lookin' runes around the entire area, so be looking out for alchemy. D11-Sup: Remember, if conventional medical attention isn't working, try a bezoar. If that isn't working, it probably isn't alchemy. The elevator door opens to the 4th floor with police tape blocking every door except that leading to apartment 8. The hallway is clean aside from a purple, painted thaumic hazard on the roof above apartment 8. In the centre of this is a security camera, aimed at the elevator with a cord running into the top of the door. D11 had experienced little training against Thaumaturgical anomalies, allowing none of them to effectively visualise the camera clearly. D11-Cap: Hemsworth, check rooms one through seven and Johansson, nine through twelve. D11-Cap, D11-2, and D11-3 approach the door to apartment 8 and perform routine check for alchemical anomalies, allowing for the thaumic hazard to go undetected. D11 was later reprimanded for negligence. D11-2 unlocks the door revealing an immaculately cleaned walkway opening to a kitchen. SCP-4139 is visible at the end of the walkway, but goes unnoticed due to its unexceptional appearance. D11-2 moves into a the bathroom to the left while D11-3 walks further down the hall, revealing a hole in the wall leading to room 7 surrounded by similar paint as outside. D-10-sup notices this hazard. D11-3: The wall's knocked in here. The rooms are connected. (begins walking towards the hazard.) D11-sup: Careful in your approach three, that looks thaumaturgical. D11-3 looks around but appears not to be able to see the paint. She moves over to the hole in the wall. As she steps over, a bright flash damages the video feeds from D10-3 and D10-Cap. Yelling and thumping is heard. D11-Cap: What the hell is that thing? D11-3: Cut it off! D11-2 Rushes down the hall to the others. The painted section of floor has extended out of the ground and attached around D10-3's leg. D10-Cap uses his field knife to cut the protuberance, causing it to disintegrate into wet paint. D11-2: That thing looks bloody disgusting. D11-3: Behind you! D11-2 turns, showing POI-326 running down the walkway to SCP-4139. POI-326 opens SCP-4139 while rearranging the SCP-4139-1/6 obscured from the body cam. D11-Cap shoots POI-326 in the leg, causing him to collapse into the open door. D11-2 runs to SCP-4139 as it closes. D11-2: Put your hands behind your head! D11-2 opens SCP-4139, which appears to be entirely full of carrots and potatoes. They tumble out knocking over D11-2. D11-Cap: Where'd he go? [END LOG] Due to the large vegetable mass in the room when collecting SCP-4139, and the disorderly actions of D11, the order of SCP-4139-1/6 used by POI-326 in his escape is unknown. Knocking and muffled vocalisations were heard originating from inside SCP-4139 roughly 30 days after procurement of SCP-4139. Due to the possibility that POI-326 may still be inside, testing of SCP-4139-1/6 combinations has been deemed top priority for discovering the whereabouts of POI-326. Footnotes 1. A mole within the contracted branch of Dr. Wondertainment's Kiddies Kitchen Kraft.

SCP-086 is a collective sessile organism whose component parts resemble items of office equipment from 1978, and which contains a consciousness claiming to be that of former Foundation administrator Dr.

*** Item #: SCP-086 Object Class: Safe Euclid Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-086 is contained within Office A-19, at Bio-Research Station 71. The secretarial post outside the door is to be staffed by 1 (one) armed guard. All components of SCP-086 are to be kept within 6 (six) meters of each other. SCP-086-1 is to be kept on the office desk, with a single connection to the telephone at the secretary's post. All communications between SCP-086 and personnel are to be recorded, transcribed, and archived. Every 6 (six) days, SCP-086-2 is to be used to sharpen 4 (four) standard commercially-purchased 16 (sixteen)-cm HB pencils, continuing until at least 95% (ninety-five) of the mass of each pencil has been converted into pencil shavings. SCP-086-2 is not to be emptied, even if personnel judge that it has become clogged; in such an eventuality, personnel are to wait 10 (ten) minutes, and then resume sharpening. Every 7 (seven) days, SCP-086-3 is to be filled with a block of 200 (two hundred) standard commercially-purchased staples. Every 20 (twenty) days, SCP-086-4 is to be filled with 15 (fifteen) sheets of standard commercially-purchased microfilm blank cellulose acetate film, produced onsite. SCP-086-5 is to be drained of waste matter whenever it fills more than halfway; the waste matter is to be incinerated. All reading material requested by SCP-086 must be approved by Site Command. All research proposals made by SCP-086 must be approved by two O5-level personnel. Description: SCP-086 is a collective sessile organism whose component parts resemble items of office equipment from 1978, and which contains a consciousness claiming to be that of former Foundation administrator Dr. [REDACTED] (1907-1978). Its 8 (eight) components are: a rotary telephone (SCP-086-1), a wall-mounted pencil sharpener (SCP-086-2), a desk stapler (SCP-086-3), a microfiche reader (SCP-086-4), a water cooler (SCP-086-5), a filing cabinet (SCP-086-6), a scientific calculator (SCP-086-7), and a slide rule (SCP-086-8). No physical connection or electromagnetic transmission between any of these components has been detected. Each component of SCP-086 is composed of biological material, contained within a carapace made of varying amounts of chitin, keratin, and calcium carbonate, as well as trace amounts of nylon, rayon, and polyester. DNA analysis reveals that the tissues contained within SCP-086 are partially of human origin, and [DATA EXPUNGED]. SCP-086-1 contains a large mass of neural tissue which functions as a brain, despite several conformational and anatomical irregularities; this brain hosts the majority of SCP-086's consciousness. SCP-086-1 also contains an ear-equivalent (tympanum, ossicles, etc.) in the receiver's mouthpiece, allowing SCP-086 to hear. SCP-086 is able to speak (in an exact match of Dr. [REDACTED]'s voice and accent) via the earpiece, although radiological and ultrasound examination have not revealed any laryngeal structures. SCP-086-1 is also capable of ringing; however, SCP-086 has stated that ringing "gives (it) a headache"; consequently, the only circumstances under which it rings are when awakening from sleep (at which point it rings twice in rapid succession) and when in distress (at which point it rings "SOS" in Morse code). SCP-086-2, -3, and -4 function as food-intake organs: SCP-086-2 consumes pencil shavings, SCP-086-3 consumes staples, and SCP-086-4 consumes microfilm. SCP-086-5 functions as a combination bladder-and-bowel equivalent, storing metabolic wastes. SCP-086-6 contains several organs which appear to combine sensory and manipulatory functions; SCP-086 has proven capable of reading printed material and physically manipulating small items (for instance, turning pages and alphabetizing documents), when they are placed within SCP-086-6. At SCP-086's request, it is regularly provided with non-classified reading material and non-classified clerical work. The biological functions of SCP-086-7 and -8 have not been determined; however, SCP-086 has stated that it experiences significant discomfort and confusion when they are removed from its vicinity, and it is therefore speculated that they have some role in its cognition. Although SCP-086-7 accepts input, its output seems to be random glyphs and LED 'noise'. SCP-086 has demonstrated that it has full access to Dr. [REDACTED]'s memories, and all tests indicate a 100% match with pre-existing psychological profiles of Dr. [REDACTED]. However, SCP-086 has pointed out that there is no way to confirm that it actually thinks of itself as Dr. [REDACTED], and that it may be an alien intelligence expertly posing as Dr. [REDACTED], or a "sleeper" persona which sincerely believes itself to be Dr. [REDACTED]. Acquisition Log: SCP-086 is presumed to have been created on June 12, 1978, when Dr. [REDACTED] was presumed killed by the PN-class events resulting from the decommissioning of SCP-████. On June 20, 1978, Dr. [REDACTED]'s office was being emptied by maintenance personnel so that it could be assigned to his successor. At this point, SCP-086-1 began ringing repeatedly, despite not being connected to a telephone jack. Maintenance personnel notified level-3 operatives, who answered SCP-086-1. During the subsequent conversation, SCP-086 identified itself as Dr. [REDACTED], and then ordered level-3 personnel to revoke its security clearance, and to make a full report of its existence and properties to O5-level personnel. Dr. [REDACTED] was given a posthumous commendation for meritorious conduct in either reporting himself as an SCP, or in influencing the anomalous entity emulating his behavior into doing so. NOTE: SCP-086 was originally classified as 'Safe', but it has stated that because it is a sapient entity with anomalous biology and metabolism, and with access to the full memories of an SCP Foundation administrator who previously had level-4 security clearance, it should be classified as "Euclid". NOTE: Although we appreciate SCP-086's conscientiousness, there is at this time no pressing reason to classify it as "Euclid". If circumstances change, we'll reconsider. - O5-█

SCP-2423 is a facsimile of a branch of the Foundation.

*** Item #: SCP-2423 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: The perimeter of SCP-2423 is to be patrolled by MTF Mu-3 "Cassiopeia" at all times. No instance of SCP-2423-1 is to leave SCP-2423, regardless of circumstances. Fresh food and gasoline are to be delivered monthly to SCP-2423. Additionally, board games and decks of cards are to be delivered biannually. Emergency materials or personnel may be delivered to the area, but require the approval of at least one personnel of security clearance Level 3 or higher. Provocation of an instance of SCP-2423-1 is strictly prohibited. Communication is likewise prohibited except by personnel with security clearance Level 3 or higher. Description: SCP-2423 is a facsimile of a branch of the Foundation. It contains a facility, grounds, and personnel for the facility. These personnel are designated SCP-2423-1. When asked for the name of this facility, they claim it is called Site-██. There are no records of this facility ever being built, no records of the branch being founded, and, after extensive research, no birth certificate for an instance of SCP-2423-1 has been found. Earliest records of SCP-2423 were on the date of ██/██/20██, when several emails from instances of SCP-2423-1 came to Foundation personnel, and the █████ area marked increased electrical and water draws. All personnel encountering instances of SCP-2423-1 have complained of severe irritation or discomfort, often without reason. Brain scans of personnel during interaction with an instance of SCP-2423-1 reveal increased activity in the parietal lobe, suggesting this agitation might stem from something perceived subconsciously. However, extensive testing of residents reveals them to be both physiologically and genetically identical to humans, and they have displayed no anomalous traits other than this discomfort. It is apparent that all instances of SCP-2423-1 fully believe themselves to be actual Foundation personnel, and even have artificial memories to support this assumption. Additionally, many of these individuals have extensive knowledge of the inner workings of the Foundation, with one researcher analogue being able to list off the locations and containment procedures of several artifacts in the █████ area. Containment procedures for these artifacts have been changed in light of this fact. Instances of SCP-2423-1 include the following: A site director. A task force consisting of thirty six personnel. A research team consisting of sixty four personnel. A security team consisting of forty nine personnel. A maintenance/janitorial team consisting of twenty five personnel. It has been noted that each department consists of a number of personnel equal to the square of a whole number. The significance of this is not yet known. SCP-2423 came into existence fully integrated into the surrounding infrastructure of █████, but has since been cut off and supplied with a gasoline generator and a water supply. A concrete and steel wall has been constructed around the facility. The task force analogue has been relieved of all weapons. Instances of SCP-2423-1 have not resisted any measures taken to restrain or disarm them. SCP-2423 also came into existence containing several unique items, which have since been removed and given their own classifications. One item could not be removed, due to anomalous traits, and has been designated SCP-2423-2. Instances of SCP-2423-1 have expressed a clear aversion to talking about SCP-2423-2. When pressed, instances relapse into total silence. This has led to the belief that SCP-2423-2 is somehow important to SCP-2423. SCP-2423-2 is a large book, 77 cm by 99 cm, levitating 2 meters above the ground. The book has 106 pages, each with a single charcoal drawing of a different antique radio. The spine of SCP-2423-2 is rigid and believed to be spatially locked relative to Earth's center of gravity. Digging beneath the book does not alter its position in space, and no amount of force has thus far been able to damage or shift it from its current location. Study of the object is ongoing, but, to date, no further knowledge on SCP-2423-2 or its significance has been obtained. What follows are interviews with instances of SCP-2423-1. Interview 4-F ACCESS GRANTED Interviewed: SCP-2423-1 instance. Identifies as a security guard by the name of James Ferros. Interviewer: Dr. ██████████ Foreword: Purpose of interview is to examine depth of instance's artificial memories. Instance of SCP-2423-1 has been instructed to be entirely candid. Interview taking place in a tent just inside perimeter wall. <Begin Log, 10:12 AM> Dr. ██████████: Let's begin this simply. What is your name? SCP-2423-1: My name is James Ferros. Dr. ██████████: Where is it that you come from, James? SCP-2423-1: Well… okay… I was born in Sydney, Australia, but my family moved to Santa Cruz, California before I could remember anything. Dr. ██████████: What do you remember about Santa Cruz? What was your favorite place growing up? SCP-2423-1: Well, it's a tourist trap, that city, so everything is big and gaudy. Me and my friends spent most of our time on the beach, surfing or just, you know, playing in the sand. When I got older we got more interested in the arcade, so we started going there more often. It would have to be a toss up between the beach and the arcade, for sure. Dr. ██████████: Your friends, who were they? SCP-2423-1: Well, there was Derrick Constantine, Maury Shoemaker, and Valentina Block. Derrick was a bit of a scrawny kid, but Maury was big, bigger than even me. Valentina was, well, the girl, but she was tough like the rest of us. Later me and her [sic] would actually join the army together. Dr. ██████████: What happened to them after you left Santa Cruz? SCP-2423-1: Well, like I said, me and Valentina went into the army together, but she wound up in a different unit. Didn't hear from her for years until I found out that her unit was taken down with no survivors. Maury is a bouncer at a club in Fremont, married and has two kids, I hear. As for Derrick, he's probably still in the arcade, or doing some kind of research somewhere. I haven't kept up with him too much. Dr. ██████████: What about your home life? SCP-2423-1: Well, I would say I had a happy life at home. I mean, mom was never home, always off running the hotel, and my big bro was in college by the time I could walk, so my family life consisted of just my dad. He was a good man, a little strict, I suppose, being ex-military, but he taught me a lot of what I know, and he let my friends come over all the time. Dr. ██████████: Okay, I think that will be enough for now. Send in the next in line on your way out. SCP-2423-1: Yes sir. <End Log, 10:20 AM> Closing Statement: Instance of SCP-2423-1 expresses extremely detailed false memories. Research reveals that all people described are fictional and all places are real places. This is a trend that exists in all interviews. No other similarities have been identified. Interview 15-C ACCESS GRANTED Interviewed: SCP-2423-1 instance. Identifies as a site director by the name of Jane Blackstock. Interviewer: Dr. ██████████ Foreword: Purpose of interview is to test degree to which mental block regarding SCP-2423-2 extends, and to obtain more information regarding the object, if possible. Interview takes place in subterranean bunker built just outside SCP-2423. Interviewer and other personnel are kept in shadow at all times. Subject kept awake for several hours and dosed with various drugs to increase power of suggestion. This is the █████ attempt to explore this avenue of inquiry. <Begin Log, 4:15 AM> Dr. ██████████: [Interviewer allows several minutes of silence to linger, reading various documents on the table before him.] Tell us what you know about the book. SCP-2423-1: [Visibly exhausted, subject winces at the instruction.] It is… It is spatially locked relative to Earth's center of gravity. It contains 106 pages of charcoal drawings of— Dr. ██████████: [Interrupting.] You've said all this before. Tell us something more significant. Tell us where it came from. SCP-2423-1: [Subject drops her gaze a bit, seems to think intensely on the subject, but finds no words.] Dr. ██████████: Tell us what experiments have been done with it. SCP-2423-1: [No response.] Dr. ██████████: Okay… Tell us how you feel when you try to give us simple information. SCP-2423-1: [Thinks for a moment, and manages to struggle out a few words.] I feel… numb. Dr. ██████████: Numb how? SCP-2423-1: Like… like when you've been laying on your foot for a half hour, and it goes to sleep. Like that… except in my head. Dr. ██████████: [Drops a pen onto the table and considers those words for a few minutes of silence, giving the visual appearance of not liking the response she gave.] You know, we're all getting tired of these repeated interviews, especially when we make no progress. Maybe it would help if someone were to shake you when that numbness comes out again, and stimulate those blood vessels a bit. SCP-2423-1: [Subject gives no response.] Dr. ██████████: [After a few moments of silence, waves to a security guard in the shadows.] Alright, now then, try and tell me something new about the book. [Recording shows two hours of repeated instructions and silence from the subject. Security guard using various levels of force.] <End Log, 6:58 AM> Closing Statement: Unnecessary force was deemed to have been used on subject. Interviewer has been reprimanded. Interview has established that even under extreme duress, and in fear for its life, subject's mental block regarding SCP-2423-2 has been insurmountable. Incident 2423-A ACCESS GRANTED ██/██/20██: An object has been uncovered outside SCP-2423. MTF Mu-3 uncovered a large radio almost completely buried in loose soil, 15 meters outside the perimeter. Upon inspection, researchers confirmed it as a cathedral radio of the same design as depicted on page 4 of SCP-2423-2. This radio proves to be incapable of picking up radio signals of any kind, despite being in perfect condition. At ██:██ AM, a transmission came through this radio. What follows is a recording of that transmission. [A man can be heard mumbling incoherently behind the sound of something scratching at paper. After a few seconds, a musical tone can be heard, playing eight short notes in a rhythm. This is followed by a full minute of the man mumbling and the paper scratching, before another voice, that of a small child, can be heard.] Child: "There has been a mistake. Close it." [The radio goes silent.] The musical tone heard near the beginning has been identified as a harpsichord, and it may have been spelling out the morse code "error" message. Currently, this radio has been classified as SCP-2423-3. Incident 2423-B ACCESS GRANTED ██/██/20██: At ██:██ AM, same time as previous incident transmission, eight musical tones being played in a rhythm were recorded inside SCP-2423. Shortly thereafter, instances of SCP-2423-1 were recorded waking up and moving about. Researchers refrain from intervention for purpose of observation. Video records show residents uncovering an antique tabletop radio just outside wing C of SCP-2423, before it is quickly removed from range of recording devices. At ██:██ AM, permission is given for Mu-3 to move in and secure object. Resistance from instances of SCP-2423-1 is met, but quickly overcome. What follows is a recording of transmission from object before being secured. [A man mumbling and scratching paper are heard, with the voice of a small child speaking in the foreground.] Child: "-seem to be- Wait… it's them again! It must be them! They stole the pieces!" [The child falls silent for a moment, leaving only the sound of the man and the paper, before it continues] Child: "Listen, we are the Nina Kärde, and we will not be impeded, least of all by concrete and theft. You have twelve days to tear down your walls and return what was stolen from us, or else you will be struck down. Close it." [The radio goes silent.] This new artifact takes a form similar to that depicted on page 83 of SCP-2423-2, and seems to lack the ability to pick up radio signals like SCP-2423-3. Thus, it has been classified as another instance of SCP-2423-3. Note: In light of recent events, MTF Theta-8 "Sundown" and MTF Lambda-10 "Maxwell and Friends" have been temporarily assigned to SCP-2423. Additional recording equipment has been installed around SCP-2423. Incident 2423-C ACCESS GRANTED ██/██/20██: At ██:██ AM, recording equipment shows seventy nine instances of SCP-2423-3 materializing on the ground around SCP-2423, all pointing out, towards perimeter wall. What follows is believed to be a sonic shockwave exerting at least 400 kilopascals of pressure. Breaches within perimeter wall are formed within ten seconds. MTF Mu-3, Theta-8, and Lambda-10 are mobilized inside the next minute, and utilize heavy ordinance to remove instances of SCP-2423-3. At ██:██ AM, all recording equipment goes down. Instances of SCP-2423-1 are reported as attacking MTF members or fleeing through breaches in perimeter wall. MTF members describe them as "sleepwalkers". At ██:██ AM, instances of SCP-2423-1 and SCP-2423-3 are all subdued or destroyed. Nine instances of SCP-2423-1 and one instance of SCP-2423-3 are not accounted for. The search for these instances is ongoing. Reconstruction of perimeter wall has been begun. Note: In light of recent events, reclassification of SCP-2423 to Keter is being considered, and revisions to containment procedures are in development.

SCP-1975 is a single instance of a mass-produced plastic hula girl figurine.

*** Item #: SCP-1975 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1975 is to be kept at Site-25 within a standard containment locker. During testing, instances of SCP-1975-1 are to be operated by D-Class personnel, as the repeated construction and destruction of remotely operated vehicles has been deemed an unnecessary drain on the Foundation's resources. No personnel considered valuable to the Foundation are permitted to enter instances of SCP-1975-1 under any circumstances. To ensure the safety of Foundation personnel, at least two (2) specimens of Odocoileus virginianus (white-tailed deer) are to be present in immediate vicinity of SCP-1975-1 when undergoing testing (see Incident Report 1975-3). Researchers wishing to substitute another member of the Cervidae family must provide written approval from Dr. Baxter. Description: SCP-1975 is a single instance of a mass-produced plastic hula girl figurine. The figure's skirt will sway when minimal force is applied. On the base of SCP-1975 is an inscription written with a felt-tip marker. The inscription is slightly faded, but still legible (see Addendum 1975-B). When SCP-1975 is placed inside a motorized vehicle, said vehicle becomes an instance of SCP-1975-1 and will remain so until SCP-1975 is removed. SCP-1975-1's anomalous effects are triggered when the vehicle reaches certain velocities. These effects appear to have been designed with the intent to instigate automotive accidents. The lethality of these effects is directly proportional to the speed of the vehicle, with higher speeds increasing the likelihood of death. If an instance of SCP-1975-1 is destroyed, SCP-1975 will vanish from the wreckage and reappear inside the motorized vehicle nearest to the crash site. Video cameras placed within instances of SCP-1975-1 during testing have captured footage of SCP-1975 being cracked, burned, and melted during the course of various wrecks; however, SCP-1975 always reappears undamaged and no fragments have ever been found on crash sites. Similarly, if SCP-1975 is intentionally damaged, it will repair itself by unknown means when not being observed. Addendum 1975-A: The following are the anomalous effects displayed by SCP-1975-1 and the speeds at which they are triggered: Speed Effect 90 km/h If the vehicle contains a functioning radio, it will turn on at full volume. The radio will not exhibit any additional anomalous effects and can be turned off normally. 100 km/h Steering wheel will behave erratically, occasionally rotating of its own accord. The wheel's pattern of behavior seems to mimic that of an intoxicated driver. 110 km/h Vehicle will instantaneously rotate 180°. It will continue to move at the same speed, but in the opposite direction. 120 km/h If a cervine creature (deer, moose, elk, etc.) is present within a 5 km radius of the vehicle, it will be thrown toward the vehicle by an unseen force. The speed at which the creature travels appears to vary depending on its proximity to the vehicle, with 234 km/h being the highest recorded speed. If no cervine creature is present within the given radius, the nearest mammalian creature will be substituted (see Incident Report 1975-3). 130 km/h Every door will open to its fullest extent and all occupants will be jettisoned from the vehicle. Addendum 1975-B: Inscription on the figurine's base: 2 of U = MADE 4 each other. Not even mad. Have fun on the road! — Tiff

SCP-6799 is a series of photographic negatives found in a grave near Cassis, Provence.

*** Item #: SCP-6799 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-6799 is stored in Secure Containment Locker 12-D in the Temporal Anomalies Department at Site-491. Digital copies of the negatives or developed images are available upon request. Description: SCP-6799 is a series of photographic negatives found in a grave near Cassis, Provence. Foundation scientists have dated the grave and negatives to the early 14th century. Analysis of the negatives indicates similarities with film used in the early 1980s. The film has undergone extensive damage, with several negatives having been forcibly and clumsily removed. Despite this, they demonstrate an anomalous degree of preservation over so long a time period. The grave is attributed to one Matthieu Rameau, who is mentioned in two local documents as a fisherman whose house was purchased for the construction of a cemetery in 1302. No further information about him has been found. Foundation researchers have been able to develop the negatives of 12 photos. They consist of the following images: Three images of a clouded sky. A blurred image of several trees. The partially obscured face of a boy, maybe 10 years of age, can be seen, apparently holding the camera. The upper spire of a church, matching archeological findings at the medieval church of Cassis. A man in his mid-20s holding a young girl next to a muddy riverbank. The man is pointing at the camera and looking into it, unsmiling. The girl is laughing, but looking slightly to the right of the camera. A large bonfire, apparently in a town square1. Several figures can be seen gathered around it, but their faces are obscured. A small hillside on a cloudy day. Two teenage girls can be seen ascending it. A picture taken at night. Water and the stern of a small fishing boat can be seen in the camera's flash. A child's drawing made with charcoal on a small rock. The image portrays a man with his head down and two girls following him. Nearby, a more skilled hand has drawn a bearded man in a coat staring at the first man. An unsmiling elderly man lying on a small wooden bed, staring at the camera. An elderly woman by a muddy riverbank, apparently crying, looking slightly to the right of the camera. Addendum 1: Analysis of SCP-6799 has revealed trace amounts of an unusual sodium-based compound. Cross-referencing the Temporal Anomalies Department's archives revealed similiarities with a compound used in experiments of former Foundation researcher Niall Rumsfeld in the late 1980s. However, Rumsfeld committed suicide in 1992 and did not leave extensive notes on the nature of his experiments, so no further information has been ascertained. Dr Rumsfeld's son, Matthew Rumsfeld, went missing in 1982. Footnotes 1. Foundation archeologists have determined that this is not in Cassis, but may be in Marseille or Frejus. « SCP-6798 | SCP-6799| SCP-6800 » _ccfuturephotographicsafescptemporal page revision: 7, last edited: 03 Nov 2021 21:24 Edit Rate (+116) Tags Discuss (12) History Files Print Site tools + Options Edit Sections Append Edit Meta Watchers Backlinks Page Source Parent Lock Page Rename Delete

SCP-2086 is a species of arthropod that resembles various makes, models, and brandings of public transport vehicles, typically buses.

*** Item #: SCP-2086 Object Class: Keter Special Containment Procedures: News reports in all major towns and cities are to be monitored for missing persons that had recently or regularly used public transport. Agents are to be dispatched to high-threat regions on a semi-regular basis. All recently discovered SCP-2086 colonies are to be condemned and demolished with chemical explosives. Standard media suppression tactics are to be applied during this entire procedure. As of this writing, five specimens of SCP-2086 are in Foundation custody. All specimens are stored in what had previously been an aircraft hanger. Because of their short lifespans and high reproduction rates, the number of SCP-2086 instances in Foundation custody shifts regularly. Terminated specimens formerly in Foundation custody are to be moved to a specialized cold storage container at Site-██ for study. Description: SCP-2086 is a species of arthropod that resembles various makes, models, and brandings of public transport vehicles, typically buses. Mature SCP-2086 instances weigh approximately 17000kg, although this number can vary greatly. Juveniles typically weigh less than 200kg. A newborn specimen of SCP-2086 can be expected to grow to full size within one week. On average, SCP-2086 specimens live twelve to fifteen days, with females producing up to twenty offspring after reaching reproduction age at approximately eight days. Mature instances of SCP-2086 do not feed, instead living off of nutrients consumed as juveniles. However, only mature instances of SCP-2086 display foraging behaviors. When foraging, SCP-2086 are almost indistinguishable from standard automobiles, although closer examinations reveal the steel, wood, plastic, and glass to be a specialized form of chitin. Vital organs such as the heart, brain, and stomach are stored beneath the flooring of SCP-2086's inner chamber. A human corpse, preserved in a shellac-like substance, typically serves as the decoy driver of wild SCP-2086 instances. Fibrous appendages protrude into the corpse. SCP-2086 instances use these fibers to manipulate the corpse, providing a more life-like appearance. SCP-2086 instances can unravel their ‘roofs’ into wings that are capable of lifting the entire organism in flight, which is their standard method of locomotion when not foraging. In addition, the ‘wheels’ can unravel into long, grey or black legs while the headlights appear to serve as bioluminescent optical organs. The appendages of SCP-2086 instances are abnormally apt at fine manipulation when compared to other species of arthropod. Specimens have been observed building crude shelters with the materials located at their nesting grounds. SCP-2086 typically nest in abandoned junk and scrap yards. Juvenile instances in the wild have been observed removing bus stop signposts and relocating them, typically in a route that leads back to the local colony. Accidental civilian observation of SCP-2086 instances engaging in this activity is minimized due to the significantly smaller size of juvenile specimens. The mature instances of SCP-2086 will drive along the route laid by the juveniles, picking up human passengers. Once a significant number of humans board an instance of SCP-2086, the organism will release a substance similar to chloroform to incapacitate its prey. Upon returning to the colony, juvenile SCP-2086 instances will enter the mature instance's internal chamber. Each passenger is then forcefully removed from the mature instance by a juvenile. The juvenile SCP-2086 instance will proceed to force the human through a sphincter located under their hood, linking to where the steering wheel and driver's seat is typically located in mature specimens. Once consumed, hair-like appendages attached to the driver's seat will pierce the trapped human's body. These appendages serve as feeding tubes, draining blood from the prey. Once the prey has been drained of blood, the feeding tubes will begin to secrete a saline solution into the corpse. The internal compartment will then begin to fill with a shellac-like substance, preserving the corpse.

SCP-663 is a █████ brand water filtration pitcher, albeit lacking a serial number and possessing a slightly narrower top which lacks the hinge present on the typical █████ pitchers.

*** Item Container and observed by an individual with Level 1 Security Clearance until SCP-663 has returned to room temperature. Description: SCP-663 is a █████ brand water filtration pitcher, albeit lacking a serial number and possessing a slightly narrower top which lacks the hinge present on the typical █████ pitchers. It appears to be capable of filtering any water-bearing solution into clean and drinkable water. Any water produced by SCP-663 is nearly completely deionized, and lacks any distinctive taste. While SCP-663 is in the process of filtering the sound of a faint heartbeat can be heard emanating from the filter core. Additionally, the filtration process releases several joules of thermal energy per gram of filtered solution. If SCP-663’s filter reservoir is refilled more than once within 6 hours, SCP-663’s surface rapidly increases in temperature to ██ degrees centigrade (███ fahrenheit). SCP-663 will also begin to gurgle loudly during the heating process. After █ minutes of the thermal runaway state, a human voice can be heard coming from within SCP-663. The voice exhibits clear signs of distress, consistent with drowning, typically screaming and begging that no more water be added to SCP-663. If SCP-663 goes more than eight (8) hours without being filled, the same voice will begin to speak from within SCP-663. Under this circumstance the voice will again be in distress, this time sounding notably parched and pleading for water amid raspy wheezing gasps. After ██ minutes of pleading, the voice will begin to scream for help, claiming to be trapped and/or lost, as well as dying of thirst. After an additional █ minutes of screaming, the voice will begin to sob and ask if anyone is there. No action as of yet attempted by the Foundation has allowed for communication with the voice. However, the voice will thank whomever refills the pitcher (often by name), then lapse into the usual silence. Addendum: SCP-663-1: Incident report - ██ / ██ / 16 During a period of especially low staffing at Site 19 SCP-663 was not assigned any caretakers. As a result the pitcher went unfilled for █ days. After 4 days of begging for water SCP-663 began to exhibit new qualities, becoming confused, disoriented, and often lapsing into silence other than intermittent breathing. After a further █ days, the voice and accompanying heartbeat ceased, prompting a violent shudder from SCP-663 followed by a discharge of cerebro-spinal fluid into the water tank. A few moments later, SCP-663 began to plead for water in a different voice. The second voice is still in use by SCP-663 as of present. Addendum: SCP-663-2: Investigation into Euclid Classification Dr. B: You’re serious about this rating? Agent L: Entirely. Dr. B: You’ve considered the consequences of this breaching containment? Agent L: And the consequences of them finding out it’s «REDACTED». Dr. B: It’s a █████? Agent L: It’s a █████. Dr. B: That’s… different. I’ll consider it. Agent L: You’ll agree. Euclid is the necessary classification. Dr. B: But why there specifically? Agent L: Same reason as the rest of my suggestions. Better containment outlook. Dr. B: The council will argue for Safe classification. Agent L: The council can read my report, sir. Dr. B: This won’t even get funding. Agent L: I can establish the initial containment myself. Dr. B: For a █████? Agent L: For a █████. Dr. B: Why? Agent L: «REDACTED». Dr. B: Oh. Yeah, okay.

SCP-1641 is a species of butterfly resembling those of the genus Mechanitis.

*** Items Containment bunker of Site 438. Male larvae of SCP-1641 are to be fed 12 grams of powdered iron daily, and female larvae are to receive 12 grams of powdered aluminum daily. Due to cannibalistic tendencies, no two larvae of the same sex are to be allowed to interact. Each larval and adult specimen of SCP-1641 is to be given a 250 milliliter dish of water, which is to be replaced daily and laced with trace amounts of iron or aluminum for adult specimens to consume (respective to gender). All SCP-1641 habitats are to be maintained at a minimum 70% relative humidity. When adult instances of SCP-1641 are ready to breed, each individual breeding pair is to be placed inside a separate blast chamber and provided with 500 g of iron, steel, or aluminum, upon which they will complete their breeding cycle. Upon hatching, all larvae of SCP-1641 are to be contained in new vivaria under the conditions outlined above. The project director and the Foundation-appointed lepidopterist assigned to SCP-1641 will determine the appropriate number of SCP-1641 needed to maintain a viable breeding population, and all specimens deemed to be in excess are to be melted down and used as food stock for those in containment. Description: SCP-1641 is a species of butterfly resembling those of the genus Mechanitis. SCP-1641 are unusual in their almost entirely metallic composition: male specimens' bodies are composed of iron and iron oxide, while females are composed of aluminum. Larvae are capable of growing to a size of 7.5 centimeters and a mass of 4 grams, and adult specimens of SCP-1641 have an average wingspan of 10 centimeters and mass of 2 grams. The average lifespan of an SCP-1641 instance is approximately two weeks, and specimens expire upon reproduction. During the mating period of their life cycle, a male and female specimen will locate and land on a suitable mass of iron or aluminum. Mating specimens will then embrace and, through an unknown process, initiate a thermite reaction that subsequently consumes their bodies. Larvae will emerge from the slag within an hour of the breeding process, and begin consuming the nesting site and any other available metal sources. One pair of adults is capable of producing an average of fifty larvae per breeding cycle. As the thermite reaction requires iron oxide, male specimens of SCP-1641 have several morphological adaptations to facilitate oxidation, such as tracheae to expose a large surface area of metal to atmospheric oxygen and moisture. The accumulation of rust is eventually deleterious to the male's continued animation, which leads highly-oxidized males to become increasingly frantic in search of a mate, until either successfully reproducing (and self-immolating) or the complete failure of the specimen's structural integrity. Recovery Log: SCP-1641 first came to Foundation attention through simultaneous reports of an unusually large swarm of butterflies and a highly destructive wildfire during the local rainy season, as well as mass equipment failure due to insect infestation at a foundry site in ███████, Costa Rica. A Mobile Observation Team was dispatched to examine the site for signs of anomalous activity. Upon arrival, the observation team discovered several thousand SCP-1641 larvae consuming all available sources of iron and aluminum in the area, including parts of the buildings, forging equipment, and nearby vehicles. A containment team was dispatched, undercover as entomologists studying the new species, and all reports of the incident were suppressed. Approximately five days after initial containment efforts began, a logging company on the other side of ███████ began to file similar complaints of equipment failure, and another wildfire was reported in the area. A local fire investigation team traced the source of the fire to a mechanical harvester on site, where more larvae of SCP-1641 were found and successfully contained. The foreman of the logging company reported to the observation team that he had received a threatening phone call on the company phone line approximately one hour before the incident. Within 48 hours, the phone call was traced to a hotel in the town, where several books on metallurgy and butterfly morphology were found, details of which can be found in Document 1641-14B-31. The resident of the room, an American national by the name of Richard █████████, was arrested and interviewed by Foundation staff. See Addendum 1641-1 for a transcription of the interview. All civilian witnesses, including the police, fire, and insurance investigators have been administered amnestics. Addendum 1641-1: Interviewed: Richard █████████ Interviewer: Mobile Containment Unit Commander Alejandro Ortiz Foreword: The following is an interview conducted by Commander A. Ortiz in order to discern the nature, origin, and motive behind the creation, of SCP-1641. <Begin Log> Ortiz: Hello, Richard. My name is Commander Ortiz… So. You understand why we’re here, right? Richard: Now, I could be wrong, but I’m gonna take a shot in the dark and say it has something to do with those fires up at the foundry and logging site. Ortiz: Yes. I was wondering if you knew how it had happened. I’m required to request that you be honest with me, and inform you that this process is as painless and straightforward as your cooperation allows for it to be. Richard: Well, I ain’t gonna give you any runaround, Cap. I started the fires… Well, my friends did. Ortiz: You mean these insects? (At this time, Commander Ortiz presents photographs of SCP-1641 in various stages of physical development upon the interview table.) Richard: Yeah, man. Those guys. Mechanitis pyrotechnica. My babies. Ortiz: Mechanitis pyrotechnica? Is that what you call them? Richard: Well, yeah. They’re an endangered species related to the tigerwings, and they blow shit up. Ortiz: Quite. So, would you care to tell how you made them? Richard: Nah, man. Father gave me the instructions personally, made me memorize them, and bound me to shut the hell up about them. Ortiz: Your father? Why would a man send his son on to do something like this? Richard: I meant in the religious sense. I’m on a mission from God, man. Ortiz: So, this was a religious statement? This doesn’t seem like something that the Lord would want. Richard: Good thing it’s not your god I’m worried about pleasing, then, isn’t it? Ortiz: (After a brief pause) Now, why did you make them this way? I must admit that I’m a bit curious. Richard: Man, I just wanted to give these guys a chance… The foundry was just a test run to see if it would work. I’m kind of pissed at your buddies for taking my first group away, by the way. Had to start the second batch from scratch. Ortiz: You’re aware that you started two forest fires with the creation and first breeding cycle of these creatures, yes? And that six firefighters died trying to stop them from consuming the rest of the forest? Richard: Yeah. Ortiz: And you think your god would be okay with that? Richard: You mean the firefighters? He wouldn't give a damn. Now, the trees, I dunno, but I’d like to think so, yeah. Ortiz: How do you figure? I thought you were attempting to stop the damage already happening? Richard: Man, I figured He would understand. After all, what’s a few trees for the forest? <End Log> Closing Statement: Following this interview, Richard █████████ was subjected to a series of tests and examinations to determine if there were any after-effects or residual anomalous phenomena concerning his person. Once this was completed to the satisfaction of the administrative staff of Site-438, Richard █████████'s memories of the events and creation of SCP-1641 were suppressed and replaced with falsified memories of committing arson, with evidence planted in his hotel room corroborating this fact. He was then turned over to the police force of ███████, Costa Rica, to solidify the cover story, and sentenced to life imprisonment. Foundation observation of Richard █████████ will continue indefinitely.

SCP-1547 is a phenomenon associated with various Southeast Asian islands, in particular Sulawesi (38% recorded cases) and Borneo (26%).

*** Item #: SCP-1547 Object Class: Keter Special Containment Procedures: MTF Sigma-08 ("Vincerò") is to locate the area in which SCP-1547-A is currently manifesting. All civilians are to be removed from the area under the guise of a public safety issue and questioned. Unaffected civilians may be released after being treated with a Class-C amnestic; affected civilians, including the 1547-Ψ group, may be detained until SCP-1547 de-manifests, or treated with a Class-B amnestic. SCP-1547-A is to be engaged with lethal force until it de-manifests. No other containment procedures are necessary. Update: As of June 2003, no use of force is allowed against SCP-1547-A. Protocol Petrushka, devised by Dr. Razak, has been outlined below instead. Current containment protocol under Protocol Petrushka must be followed. Civilians in 1547-Ψ may be detained only during the day and in direct sunlight. Under no circumstances is MTF Sigma-08 or other non-D-Class personnel to interact with SCP-1547-A or 1547-Ψ during the nighttime. Failure to conform to Protocol Petrushka will lead to containment breach. All testing done to SCP-1547 must be submitted for approval to Director Jethro and Dr. Razak. Protocol Petrushka: After positive identification of an SCP-1547 manifestation, the appropriate number of D-class personnel1 is to be escorted from the nearest available site by MTF Sigma-08 to the location where SCP-1547 is closest. The D-class personnel should fail the Weyl test (<45 score). The selected D-class personnel must not be given any plastic or metallic tools, but protective gloves and headgear are allowed. D-class personnel with physical disabilities should be encouraged to join. At night, the allotted D-class personnel should be allowed to join the 1547-Ψ group. MTF Sigma-08 should keep close observance of SCP-1547-A and 1547-Ψ, but must not directly interfere during the nighttime. Civilians should be detained and brought to the nearest Foundation safe house for medical attention during the day if possible; however, no more than three civilians are allowed to be removed each day. Current Status: A successful application of Protocol Petrushka has extended the manifestation for 245 days; it is expected to last until May 2018. MTF Sigma-08 is to remain on high alert as Protocol Petrushka terminates. Description: SCP-1547 is a phenomenon associated with various Southeast Asian islands, in particular Sulawesi (38% recorded cases) and Borneo (26%). A SCP-1547 manifestation refers to the appearance of SCP-1547-A. A few days after the conclusion of the last SCP-1547 event, SCP-1547-A would manifest to a group of people, hereby referred to as “targets”. No correlation has been found between different targets, and the largest recorded instance affected 354 individuals; it is not known whether there exists a limit. SCP-1547-A is a vaguely humanoid entity of variable appearance. Witness interviews and field reports describe the entity to be approximately two meters tall and covered in black fur; other than a pair of vaguely canine eyes there are no other discernible facial orifices or features. While SCP-1547-A has been observed to walk using bipedal movement, it more notably has been found to possess displacement abilities, and would use this ability to evade physical damage; if SCP-1547-A is unable to avoid the physical damage without leaving the area that it has manifested it, such as in the case of fire or extensive artillery assault, SCP-1547-A would demanifest. No attempt at tracking has been successful, as it has evaded all forms of physical contact. SCP-1547-A also seems to avoid sunlight, mainly manifesting at night and would hide out of sight during the day. SCP-1547-A is capable of a minor hallucinogenic/compulsion effect; however, the effect is weak enough that persons that score 70 or higher on the Weyl scale (1.6% of global populace) or have undergone Reger Anti-Compulsion Training are able to withstand its effect. Subjects that are unable to withstand the compulsion effect of SCP-1547 reports a visual hallucination, where they invariably see a tall wooden structure. During a SCP-1547 manifestation, subjects that are unable to withstand the hallucinations and compulsions, now designated as 1547-Ψ, will attempt to construct and build the structure, which is believed to serve as an altar. No two structures have been found to be the same, though repeated motifs have been seen if an SCP-1547 manifestation is interrupted. Structure found during Manifestation 014 of SCP-1547 At the completion of the structure, the majority of the 1547-Ψ population typically would fall unconscious2 except in rare occasions. Any remaining 1547-Ψ members that did not would usually assist SCP-1547-A, who would usually use this structure for an unknown ritual, that typically concludes with the death of SCP-1547-A, or sometimes an 1547-Ψ instance. See Addendum 1547-1: Recorded Manifestations for more information. If the ritual is allowed to finish, it does not appear to have an immediate effect. However, in a few hours, all nearby plant life, in particular angiosperms, would start to wilt and wither. No plants species have been able to survive. The effect is irreversible at this point, and in the affected area, no plants have been able to grow. However, the anomaly does not affect animals or fungi - however, total destruction of local plant populations has devastating effects to the local ecosystem, and therefore local fauna populations invariable either die of starvation or migrate to unaffected areas. The area affected has an observed range up to 25 kilometers, diminishing as it gets further from the origin of SCP-1547. Civilians that were affected by SCP-1547 and join 1547-Ψ groups, after medical attention, will be typically able to recall their activities during their influence under SCP-1547, but extensive interviews were inconclusive. Civilians typically display no lasting effects, other than a significant change in diet and a marked disdain for agricultural activities. Addendum 1547-1: Recorded Manifestations: Manifestation 001 Location: Serkin in Sarawak, to a group of eight men working as farmhands and living together. Length: Estimated to be 7 days. Context: Earliest known manifestation - it is unknown how many times that SCP-1547 has manifested before this, but it is believed be no more than three times. The Foundation was not alerted at the time of a possible anomaly; the record was obtained after the involved civilians were found unconscious around the structure that they have built, and constructed based on police interview and evidence. Description: A large fig tree (Ficus obliqua) was stripped of its bark and all the leaves removed from the branches. A circular trench (approximately five meter radius, two meters deep) was dug around the tree, and all the removed leaves were placed inside the trench. The eight men then stood at equal distance from each other around the circular trench and urinated simultaneously, then fell unconscious. As this was constructed from interviews post-event, no record of what happened afterwards is available. Estimated affected area: Approximately 1.5 kilometer radius. Manifestation 002 Location: Near Ipil on Mindanao, to a village of approximately 30 people Length: Two days. Context: One member of the village had a Weyl score of 92, meaning she was able to resist the effects of SCP-1547 and notify relevant authorities. In her testimony to the police, she indicated that she was horrified by the sudden compulsion that her friends and family had, and drove to the nearest village after a few hours of attempting to wake the villagers. Foundation notified of possible anomaly, but this account was similarly only available after civilian interviews and police reports. Description: Several betel nut trees (Areca catechu) were dug up and arranged in a square array shape in an empty school soccer field, five by five squares with each square approximately five meters wide. At each section, a small pyramid of betel nuts were made in the center, aside from the center square where a square hole was dug approximately three meters deep and filled with water, tainted red from betel nut juice that the villagers produced by chewing on betel nuts then spitting it into the hole. SCP-1547-A was then observed submerging itself into the hole, after which the villagers fell unconscious. Estimated affected area: Approximately 3 kilometer radius. Manifestation 005 Location: A seaside settlement, to four people, located near Sangkimah Length: Three days Context: First time observed near a large body of water Description: Several driftwood branches were tied with vines into an impromptu raft, where SCP-1547-A drifted out to sea; it is then observed to break the raft apart and sink. Notably, SCP-1547 does not seem to affect the seaweed in nearby waters. Estimated affected area: Approximately 20 kilometer radius. Manifestation 012 Location: A milk fruit (Chrysophyllum cainito) orchard in southern Sulawesi, affecting three workers Length: Ended after six hours; Foundation intervention prevented it to finish Context: First time Foundation deliberately stopped SCP-1547 from completion, due to the devastating effects; while the teleportation was documented earlier, this manifestation overturned a previous hypothesis regarding SCP-1547-A's re-manifestaion. Description: Fruits were gathered and crushed using rocks, then the resulting pulp was carefully laid out on a flat stretch of road, in a zig-zagging pattern. Foundation agents intervened at this point, and detained all 1547-Ψ civilians. SCP-1547-A demanifested and re-manifested in an apartment complex in Jakarta. Estimated affected area: N/A Manifestation 013 Location: An apartment complex in Kramat Jati in eastern Jakarta Length: Three hours Context: Foundation failed to prevent ritual from completion Description: N/A Estimated affected area: Approximately 3 kilometer radius. Addendum 1547-2: Letter from Dr. Razak: To Director Jethro, I believe that based on our blissfully rare interactions with SCP-1547, we are posed with a unique dilemma. SCP-1547 doesn't seem very intelligent - it responds with very primal fear towards sunlight and gunfire, and other forms of physical contact. I noted that it was not just humans that it avoids - three times now in the recordings that we have received shows that even hares and certain birds trigger the physical demanifestation response. Right now we have zero information regarding the origins of SCP-1547; local folklore, the ritual-like nature of observed events, and interviews conducted leads me to believe that there are supernatural elements to its origins. However, it seems like there is little more to SCP-1547 than what we have already observed. I am inclined to believe that the weak psychological influence and teleportation is the extent of its powers, and hold no realty-bending or similar abilities of other SCPs that may have religious or mythological origins. If this is a deity, it is a rather weak one. As you know, SCP-1547's strongest direct influence is on local vegetation, and vegetation only. SCP-1547, so far, has only caused the deaths of sixteen individuals over the course of seven years under Foundation observation, with eleven of them D-class personnel. The relatively low fatality should not be an indication of safety, however, as we have found no way to reverse the effects of SCP-1547 once a "ritual" has taken place. Analysis of the soil samples affected gives us no reason of the widespread vegetation failure, as the chemical and biological composition are unaffected. The solution seems very obvious then - prevent the ritual from completion, thus negating the only impact that SCP-1547 is able to enact. This is where it gets tricky - as I have indicated earlier, SCP-1547 does not seem very intelligent. Perhaps it's sentient, maybe even sapient, but not exactly the brightest - and as I have already indicated, extremely stubborn. Initially, we thought that perhaps that SCP-1547 would cease its attempts if it was engaged with lethal force, as it demanifests after it is engaged. One major problem arises out of this - we do not know where SCP-1547 goes. Currently no way of attaching a tracking device has been found, and it has so far followed no pattern at all. During initial containment attempts, SCP-1547 were only mainly whizzing around in remote small villages, centered around Borneo, and affected around ten people at most. However, we found that hostile reaction towards it drove it to slightly bigger settlements and towns, and more urban areas, and started to appear farther and farther away from where we first started observing. When one sighting led us to an apartment complex in Jakarta, we knew we had a problem. With it going into more densely populated urban areas, it becomes increasingly hard to cover up the sightings - and the speed of building the structures needed for its "rituals" gets faster, simply because more people are exposed and join the 1547-Ψ group. The first observed SCP-1547 manifestation had a 1547-Ψ size of ten people, and since it was unhindered, took around six days to complete. The Jakarta incident affected around three hundred people - and even though it only took Foundation agents around two hours to locate SCP-1547 after the first sighting, it was too late. Disrupting the building process, detaining the civilians, destroying the structure - all resulted in it demanifesting, and remanifesting in denser and denser population centers in order to speed up the building process. At the same time, allowing it to complete the structure leads to irreversible devastation that we want to avoid. As we have been shown repeatedly, SCP-1547 is not exactly the shiniest spirit in the fairy jar. The Petrushka Protocol takes advantage of this - as SCP-1547 demanifests during the day, it is safe to sabotage the structures in a way that obstructs construction. The Petrushka Protocol is carefully compiled - total destruction and obvious damage to the structure is avoided. Just as the 1547-Ψ folk only use their bare bands, sabotages that can be achieved without the use of tools are the only ones that evade detection. Any mechanical damage that requires the simplest of man-made tools - simple blades, mallets, or even flames - constitutes as major sabotage. Complexity is not our friend here. Of course, it's highly ineffective. It's also the only method that really works. Follow what's written - and we're safe. Break what is written and observed - we risk either exposure or environmental carnage. In a way, Protocol Petrushka is just a stalling technique. What usually takes SCP-1547-A a week or so to complete now has dragged on for months, and we project the current manifestation could potentially last up to a year. Of course, it's not a permanent solution - minuscule, incremental progress is still made. However, this is the safest and least costly way that we have found to contain SCP-1547, satisfying its very basic whims. In a way we have created our own quasi-religious ritual, attempting to appease a minor deity while at the same time avoiding the negative consequences. I suppose this is how the ancestors of years past created their rituals. After all, what is a ritual if not to merely just placate a god? A minor deity, for sure, but placated nonetheless. Protocol Petrushka, as scientific and mysterious as it sounds, is just a ritual. I hope this sheds more light on my devised containment procedures. Best, Dr. Razak

SCP-2881 is a member of the tree species Pinus ponderosa (ponderosa pine) located in ███████ National Park, ██████████.

*** Item #: SCP-2881 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2881 is to remain at its current location. A chain link fence has been installed surrounding the area of SCP-2881, which is to be guarded by one security officer during all park operating hours. No unauthorized individuals are to be permitted within the area designated to SCP-2881. Description: SCP-2881 is a member of the tree species Pinus ponderosa (ponderosa pine) located in ███████ National Park, ██████████. SCP-2881 measures roughly 13.9 meters at its highest point. Several planks of an unknown wood are nailed into the trunk of SCP-2881 at 5.3 meters above ground level. Given the anomalous properties of SCP-2881 it is unknown if or how they were installed. Holes are located at several points up the trunk of SCP-2881 between 12 cm and 3 m from previous installations of climbing spurs. Typical of trees of its kind, SCP-2881 has no branches lower than 7 m above ground level. SCP-2881’s anomalous properties manifest any time a human being attempts to climb it by the installation or use of climbing spikes, spurs, studs, or grips. Any individual to attempt to make vertical progress up the surface of SCP-2881 will report experiencing themselves doing so; however, on reexamination of their location will retain their starting positions. This same effect is applied to any individual watching another climb SCP-2881, either in person or on live video feed. Recorded testing played after the conclusion of a test shows subjects making no effort to climb; however, all dialogue and actions unrelated to climbing remain consistent with live observation. Individuals placed onto SCP-2881 at a height above 3m by external means report feeling uncomfortable and "strangely heavy." No changes in weight or gravity have ever been observed while in contact with SCP-2881. Test subjects report a greater effect at higher points on SCP-2881. Testing has not been conducted using mechanical assistance. (See Incident-2881-1) Incident-2881-1: Foundation personnel attempted to install a pulley to a branch of SCP-2881 on the date of ██/██/89 for the purposes of testing assisted elevation. D-4375 used an elevated work platform to reach a branch and install the mechanism. Upon making contact with a branch of SCP-2881 approximately 8.2 m above ground level D-4375 appeared to enter a trance and stopped responding to personnel. D-4375 detached himself from the platform and climbed onto the branch of SCP-2881, then proceeded to scale the branches of SCP-2881 until no longer visible to Foundation staff. All attempts made to contact D-4375 failed. Roughly two hours later, D-4375 fell from SCP-2881 at a speed estimated to exceed terminal velocity and was dead on impact with the ground. Autopsy reports concluded that D-4375 had died several days prior by hanging from the neck. The body had several lacerations around the face, forearms, and legs. Testing of SCP-2881 is ongoing.

SCP-3708 is a 5 kilogram, 21 centimeter tall stone statue of a rooster.

*** Item#: 3708 Level1 Containment Class: safe Secondary Class: none Disruption Class: dark Risk Class: notice link to memo SCP-3708. Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3708 is kept inside a standard low-concern enclosure at Site-73 and may be accessed by Level-2 personnel for testing. Description: SCP-3708 is a 5 kilogram, 21 centimeter tall stone statue of a rooster. At precisely 6:30 (local time) every morning, SCP-3708 will animate and emit a crowing sound in the 75-80 decibel range. It will then appear to scan the nearby area by craning its neck while seemingly becoming increasingly distressed; during this period of animation, it will emit several low vocalizations before becoming inanimate again at 6:31. SCP-3708 produces a mild euphoric response in individuals that physically contact it; affected subjects report feelings of warmth and comfort. SCP-3708 was recovered from the residence of the recently deceased Reinier Costede, an 83-year-old farmer, in Gilman, Wisconsin. Following the witnessing of SCP-3708's anomalous properties by Costede's relatives, field agents responded to reports of a "living chicken statue" circulating in the small village. Costede's residence was searched, and SCP-3708 was recovered without incident. Addendum 3708.1: Recovered Document Upon the recovery of SCP-3708, a small note was found taped to the side of its body. Pa, I'm going to be gone for a while. Maybe I won't return. I know you don't get many visitors out here… I found you something to keep you company, though! A little reminder of me, I guess. His name's Benny. Take good care of him, OK? Marguerit. Addendum 3708.2: Recovered Document In addition to SCP-3708, a journal was found in Costede's residence; irrelevant content has been excluded. October 23rd, 2016 Marguerit left in the afternoon, and gave me this little sculpture. It reminds me of a rooster I used to have as a child. I've put him on top of my nightstand for now. October 24th, 2016 Today I woke up to the sound of a rooster calling, but I haven't had any on this farm in over 60 years now. For a second, I'd thought it was Marguerit calling me down. Must've been little Benny trying to keep me company. It's better than waking up alone. October 25th, 2016 I woke up a little earlier today, and while doing my morning routine I heard Benny crowing again. I went over to where I had placed him, and by God, he was moving! I reached my hand out to touch him and he rubbed up against it. Then, he went back to normal… I don't know if I'm getting enough sleep. October 26th, 2016 I thought it was the sleep, but it happened again today. This time, it looked like he was waiting for me. I pet him again and he soon went still. Reminded me of when Marguerit was just a baby… she'd always wake up crying in the middle of the night, and wouldn't quiet down until I went over to comfort her. November 19th, 2016 Saying good-morning to Benny is part of my routine now. I think he's used to having me around, and so am I. She was right about me needing company. I only wish I could have him around more often than a minute each morning. Then again, it does make our time together more treasured. I didn't have Marguerit around for very long, either. December 21st, 2016 Benny seemed more active than usual today. He was practically flailing about, crowing his head off about God-knows-what. Normally I'd be annoyed, but… with him, it's hard to. I was half-hoping that Marguerit had returned and he was crowing at that, but that wasn't the case. I just wish someone would come. December 22nd, 2016 He kept it up today, which was no surprise. I just comforted him until he calmed down. Then, back to stone. God, why does he have to turn back to stone? […] I came down with something, by the looks of it. I've been with a nasty cough for the better half of this afternoon. It's bearable, though. At least I have something to look forward to in the morning. December 23rd, 2016 (final entry) It looks like the flu. I think Benny knows, too. He seemed worried when I went to say good-morning today. But I'll be okay, for him. For Marguerit.

SCP-489 is a roughly dome-shaped conglomerate mass consisting entirely of objects used to kill or repel insects (e.

*** Item #: SCP-489 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-489 is held in a containment unit at Site-113. To prevent personnel accidentally bringing insect life into SCP-489's cell, a shower room has been established outside of the containment cell; personnel will change into the clothes provided to them after cleaning. Testing with SCP-489 is limited to indoor spaces. Due to the potential of containment breach and site damage, at no point may insectile based anomalies, including instances of SCP-831, be stored at Site-113. Description: SCP-489 is a roughly dome-shaped conglomerate mass consisting entirely of objects used to kill or repel insects (e.g. aerosol pesticide cans, "bug zappers", flyswatters, footwear, and lighters). Each item is capable of independent autonomous movement, though they usually move along the ground as a whole when in motion. As of June 17, 2013, SCP-489 measures roughly five meters in height, and eight meters in diameter at the base. There is a badly damaged transit van in the center of the mass, which contains a human skeleton sitting in the driver seat; the skeleton's rib cage has been crushed. A faded, scratched logo can be seen on the right side of the van, which reads: Xtreme Xtermination [sic] Services. We'll bash any bug, big or small! 1-555-BUG-BASH When an insect of any species comes within five meters of SCP-489, SCP-489 will surge towards the animal and attempt to kill it; of note is that SCP-489 is heedless of other non-insect organisms should an insect be on or nearby them when attacking, usually resulting in severe injury or death should said organism(s) fail to move in time. However, due to the number of objects moving at once, SCP-489 often fails to reach the target at all, instead having individual parts impede one another's movement. If SCP-489 fails to kill the insect(s), individual items on SCP-489 become hostile to one another and begin hitting objects adjacent to them. When not in the presence of an insect, SCP-489 is relatively docile, making study of it easier. Should SCP-489 successfully terminate an insect, objects capable of handling it safely (e.g. tweezers, shovels, etc.) will retrieve and pass the insect along the edge of SCP-489 towards the storage space of SCP-489; during this time, it becomes possible to see the transit van without imaging due to items moving out of the way to open the doors. The storage space of the van in SCP-489 possesses extradimensional properties, containing dozens of rows of glass jars stored on wooden shelves; every jar is full of various dead insects. If presented with new objects that would be considered "bug-killers", SCP-489 will readily attempt to incorporate them into itself; however, this habit makes its goal of exterminating insects even more difficult with the newly acquired mass. Newly added items immediately show signs of sentience. When new items are introduced to SCP-489, other items will enter the van's storage space and bring numerous jars containing disproportionately large specimens to the front of the storage space. These samples appear to serve as trophies for SCP-489; each jar is labeled with a date, and how the insect was obtained. Newly added items will gather around these jars in apparent admiration. Below is a list of several specimens SCP-489 has presented: + Show: List of specimens in SCP-489 - Hide Description: Three beetle-like creatures each measuring ~1.5 meters in length. The abdomens are covered in large thorn-like protrusions. The Savage Spine-Shooting Beetles! Obtained July 7th, 1989 The beasts were terrorizing the village of Lathos in Thoazola. Brought down with the help of Julie and her Garden Gang. Description: A thin, knobby, elongated creature resembling a stick insect with an additional six pairs of legs; each leg measures ~2.5 meters. Body length is ~5 meters. The Walking Lance! Obtained December 20th, 1984 Found roaming the jagged rocky mountains of Jerinth. Its bladed legs felled Karen and Matthew before a well-aimed shot from Maxwell skewered its head. Description: A horseshoe crab-like creature with prominent mandibles, paddle-like legs, and several sac-like growths lining its back and underbelly. Length ~2 meters. The Aquatic Venomous Floaterbug! Obtained March 26, 1987 A new challenge, one that took place beneath the waters of the Burmese Swamplands! We have the scars to show for it, but the beast fell after the puncturing of its venom sacs. Description: A humanoid entity 1.8 meters in height with eyes and proboscis resembling a housefly (Musca Domestica). The Bug Man! Obtained May 5, 1991 Found within the frozen hills of Russia. Well worth the battle and losses; Theo and the Torches' sacrifice will be honored by all Bug-Killers for eternity. Description: An arthropod with four thick, short legs all spreading from its abdomen in a circle. Creature has large elongated pincers, and a head featuring a prominent proboscis and compound eyes. Height ~ 4 meters. The Bug That Killed Master Obtained November 18th, 2000 Master fought hard, but he had finally met a bug he couldn't kill. We fought for him and made it suffer, but we couldn't save our leader. Description: A wooden case with several pinned, non-anomalous butterflies, beetles, and dried earthworms. Our first kills after Master's death Obtained from February to April of 2001 We will carry on Master's work.

SCP-630 is a 130 meter wide underground glacier and, according to surface sonar scans, at least 12km long, moving at an estimated 30 meters a year.

*** Item #: SCP-630 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-630 is contained ██ m underground, in the remains of a copper mine, ██ km north of ████, Peru (██° ██' ██" S, ██° ██' ██" W). The chamber containing SCP-630 is to be as brightly lit as resources allow using LED and fluorescent lights and sealed behind blast doors. Weekly maintenance is to be performed by class D personnel only, including: Inspecting and replacing any burnt out lights. Use of provided GPS and sonar rangefinders to measure and plot movement of the leading edge of SCP-630. Since the ████ copper mine lies in one of the harshest desert environments on the planet and contains no other SCP entities, containment is as simple as restricting access to the mine and proper handling of persons affected. SCP-630 is estimated to move at a rate of 30 meters a year through an extensive system of caverns, and research is being conducted on its future path as well as mapping expeditions into the caves. As long as it remains contained, SCP-630's movement is not projected to pose a direct threat to populated areas. Handling of any samples of SCP-630 or affected materials is to be done only with full reflective thermal gear. Any person exposed to direct skin contact with SCP-630 is to be considered dangerous and is classified as SCP-630-1. Exposed subjects are to be quarantined until arrangements can be made for their disposal. Samples of SCP-630 and remains of SCP-630-1 subjects are to be disposed of by ignition from a distance with a mixture of aluminum and sodium hydroxide. Description: SCP-630 is a 130 meter wide underground glacier and, according to surface sonar scans, at least 12 km long, moving at an estimated 30 meters a year. It is composed of what is theorized to be a mixture of water-ice, which is an opaque black and does not reflect any form of visible light or electromagnetic radiation. The leading edge of the glacier is fragile enough to take samples from; however, they have been shown to withstand ambient temperatures of over 1500°C without melting. Temperature probes indicate that the glacier is cooled to about -10°C, and any significant melting can only be achieved by a sustained exothermic reaction with the water molecules within the ice. When melted, SCP-630 reverts to ordinary, slightly impure water and displays a normal reflection/absorption spectrum. Any sources of water exposed to SCP-630 crystallize, forming ice which behaves for all intents and purposes as part of the original glacier. When samples are placed in contact with naturally occurring ice, no change is recorded in either sample. Research is ongoing into an emergency cryogenic containment protocol in the event that any SCP-630 affected materials are ever introduced to an unsecured body of water. Personnel working around SCP-630 report frequent auditory hallucinations, most often the sound of someone pleading or calling for help from within the ice. Staff have reported that over a period of time these hallucinations can create a difficult to resist impulse to make physical contact with SCP-630. Recording equipment has yet to pick up any unexplained noises, but has detected low frequency sounds consistent with glacial movement. Acquisition reports also indicate that miners originally broke through a rock wall into the cavern thinking that they were following the cries of others trapped by a cave-in. When direct skin contact is made with SCP-630, the body ceases to reflect any incoming light, causing it to turn pitch black and rendered blind, deaf, and mute. Extensive testing indicates that SCP-630 affects only warm-blooded animals: birds and mammals. Reptiles, amphibians, invertebrates, and fish remain unaffected aside from going into hypothermic shock. Once exposed, these specimens are classified as SCP-630-1. Affected subjects do not respond to any visual or auditory stimuli, instead feeling out their surroundings through touch and vibration, and will often follow walls and hide in corners. Analysis of SCP-630-1 indicates that internal temperature decreases as much as 5°C/hour and subjects will instinctively attempt to make contact with heat sources, including fire, electronic equipment, incandescent lighting, and any nearby humans. En masse they have been reported to mob handlers as they attempt to find warmth, resulting in several severe cases of hypothermia. Attempts to communicate with SCP-630-1 have met with failure, since subjects are rendered too single-minded in their search for heat to respond. While they may be hard to see, SCP-630-1 are vulnerable to physical injury and are easy enough to dispatch. However, care must be taken in disposing of the remains as any fluids escaping from the body quickly solidify and can affect unprotected personnel. Over the course of exposure, SCP-630-1 will begin to show lessened speed and motor skills and eventually find a corner or enclosed space, curl into a fetal position, and finally cease movement altogether. The temperature around SCP-630-1 continues to lower until it reaches -10°C, at which point any ambient humidity, combined with the body's natural water content, finally freezes into a layer of ice over the subject. After reaching this final phase, any skin contact creates the same effects as SCP-630. In addition, attempts to melt the ice have yet to reveal any traces of organic remains. -I never thought I'd be so glad that they found this thing in such a godforsaken place. While it seems unlikely that enough of this crap will ever get into a large enough body of water to cause any sort of XK event within our lifetime, it looks like it'll be moving into the aquifers of the Amazon Basin within the next ███ years. - Dr. ██████

SCP-765 is a duck pond, discovered in the █████████ region of South Carolina in 197█.

*** Item #: SCP-765 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-765 is to be isolated from the rest of Site-88 by a wire fence of at least 1.22 meters. Instances of SCP-765-1 are harmless beyond this area, and SCP-765's effects are negligible at this range. SCP-765 is to be staffed with a rotating group of researchers and guards. These personnel are to be changed every three to six days to avoid suffering the detrimental effects of SCP-765. Researchers who have been absent from SCP-765 for at least one month may apply for assignment to it again. Description: SCP-765 is a duck pond, discovered in the █████████ region of South Carolina in 197█. SCP-765 appears to emanate an emotional effect causing what researchers have called "serenity." Researchers, guards, and test subjects within the field of SCP-765 report relaxed feelings, contentment with their life, and justification with their life choices. However, after seven to twelve days, the shift becomes one of lethargy, apathy, boredom, and depression. Further shifts beyond this are currently being monitored, with test subjects D-02841, D-02844, and D-02851 having been in the effect for over a ███████ █████. Psychological reports on all these subjects are available at request with approval from Dr. G████. Due to its relaxing nature, SCP-765 is regularly assigned to researchers undergoing severe stress or lethargy. The effect does not appear addictive or memetic in any way. Addendum SCP-765-1, 197█: Unsurprisingly, several members of the Anatidae family showed up today, classified SCP-765-1. While they do not appear affected by SCP-765, staff have reported that a degree of jollity has been observed in participants and the speed with which the negative effect is reported seems to be diminished. Recommend further research with other species of waterfowl. - Dr. █████

SCP-2766 is a section of aqueduct tunnel, approximately 180m long1, near the source of the Aqua Claudia, an ancient Roman aqueduct which brought water from springs at Sublacensis (modern Subiaco) to the city of Rome.

*** Item #: SCP-2766 Object Class: Safe SCP-2766, April 2009 Special Containment Procedures: Between astronomical dawn and dusk on the first of each month in the Julian calendar, SCP-2766 is to be supplied with a constant flow of water measuring no less than 4.5 million liters per hour; a series of channels diverting water from the nearby Aniene river to the entrance of SCP-2766 has been constructed for this purpose. During this period, SCP-2766 is to be drained into the pipeline at its outlet; its products are filtered, diluted and then released into the Aniene at a Foundation facility in the San Lorenzo hydroelectric dam. Description: SCP-2766 is a section of aqueduct tunnel, approximately 180m long1, near the source of the Aqua Claudia, an ancient Roman aqueduct which brought water from springs at Sublacensis (modern Subiaco) to the city of Rome. When water passes through SCP-2766, it is transmuted into an equivalent volume of a mixture of wine and another liquid. The liquid produced varies by the month of the Julian calendar; see Table 2766-1. Table 2766-1: SCP-2766 Products by Month Month Product Notes January River water; water lacks modern industrial pollutants, but in all other ways matches the particulate composition of the Tiber River around the city of Rome. January 1st was celebrated by the Romans as the feast day of Janus, god of borders, doorways and bridges. February Solution of salts and minerals similar in composition to human sweat. The Roman purification festival of Februa occurred during the month of February, and was strongly associated with sweat and fever. March Human blood; DNA analysis indicates that blood comes from a number of individuals, both male and female. March 1st was the feast day of Mars, god of war. April Wine is mixed with pomegranate juice, considered an aphrodisiac by the Romans, and spiced with an unidentified herb (possibly Silphium, a now-extinct variety of fennel used by the Romans as a seasoning and a contraceptive). April 1st was celebrated as the feast of Venus, goddess of desire. May Menstrual fluid from a number of female individuals. May 1st was celebrated as the feast of Bona Dea, a fertility goddess and protector of women. June Cow blood from two distinct individuals, both female. A pair of cows was the traditional sacrifice to Juno, whose feast day falls on June 1st. July Human blood from a single male individual. DNA analysis indicates that there is a close familial relation between blood produced in July and August; it is currently hypothesized that during these months SCP-2766 produces the blood of Julius Caesar and his grand-nephew Augustus, for whom these months were named. August Human blood from a single male individual. See July. September Wine produced is undiluted, and has a higher alcohol concentration than other months. The feast of Liber, a Roman wine god equated with the Greek Dionysus, took place during September. October Horse blood from a single male individual. During the month of October, the Romans celebrated the Equus October, a festival culminating in the sacrifice of a horse to Mars. November River water; particulate composition matches the Nile river near Philae. Philae was an important cult center of Isis in antiquity; the festival of Isis, first introduced under Caligula, was celebrated in Rome on November 1st. December Wine is sweetened with honey and spiced with a blend of black pepper, saffron, and fennel. This mixture was known as conditum paradoxum2, and was a popular winter beverage in ancient Rome, associated with the Saturnalia solstice festival which occurred in December. If SCP-2766 is not supplied with a sufficient amount of water3 during daylight hours on the first day of each month, it will begin to produce whatever wine mixture would normally be produced that month at a flow rate of approximately 7.5 million liters per hour, the rate at which water flowed through the Aqua Claudia while it was operational; the liquid pours from niches in the walls originally used to hold oil lamps during the tunnel's construction, and from holes and cracks in the hydraulic cement along the floor and walls. This flow will continue until the last day of that month, at which point the flow rate will gradually decrease over the course of the day, coming to a stop at dusk. The section of the Aqua Claudia which includes SCP-2766 was built in 38 CE under the emperor Caligula, and the remainder of the aqueduct was completed in 52 CE by his successor Claudius; 10 years after its completion, due to SCP-2766's effects, the Aqua Claudia was abandoned. In 70 CE, under the emperor Vespasian, containment of SCP-2766 was established by the Praetorian Office of Secret Wisdom4 and a secondary channel of the Aqua Claudia bypassing SCP-2766 was created; after the fall of the Western Roman Empire, SCP-2766 was uncontained until the Vatican Holy Office of Secrets and Prophecy reestablished containment in 786 CE. Recovered Document 2766-1: Dedicatory Inscriptions, SCP-2766 Repair Access Tunnel Latin, circa 39 CE. From the records of the Vatican Holy Office of Secrets and Prophecy. Trans. Sebastian Miller, 1957. Caius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus5, son of Tiberius, Pontifex Maximus6, consul five times, in his third year as emperor, father of his country, saw to it that the Curtian and Caerulean waters7 be brought into the City of Rome. Lucius Caecilius Ater, Superintendent of Secrets8, by decree of the Divine Caius, the New Sun9, saw to it that the Curtian and Caerulean waters be transformed, so the baths and fountains of Rome might run with whatever is most pleasing to the emperor and the gods. Recovered Document 2766-2: Cura Praetoria Sapientae Occultae Record of Containment for the "Aqua Caligula" Latin, circa 70 CE. From the records of the Vatican Holy Office of Secrets and Prophecy. Trans. Sebastian Miller, 1957. In the second year of the imperium of Titus Flavius Caesar Vespasianus Augustus10, the Praetorians were sent to investigate rumors of the Anio11 running with blood and wine. Arriving at Sublacensis, it was found by Prefect of Hidden Wisdom Caeso Iccius Candidus that a part of the Aqua Claudia, which had been closed on account of it producing fouled waters and had been diverted into the Cloaca Maxima to aid in the cleansing of sewage, had collapsed in an earthquake, and was now pouring out blood and wine into the Anio. And with the matter having been investigated further, it was learned that the spirits bound to the aqueduct by Lucius Caecilius Ater, Curator Arcanorum for the emperor Caligula, so that the emperor might have his fountains pour forth whatever might be appropriate for the holiday, had become confused by this destruction, and were already angered by their long lack of employment in the task set forth for them by Ater (for the Divine Claudius had not known of the miraculous properties of his aqueduct, and so had not used the powers of the spirits). And in their anger, these spirits had decided that they would pour forth whatever would be most fitting for the whole of the month, unless during the Kalends12 they were well-employed for the whole of the day. And with these things learned by the augurs and haruspices13, the Prefect decided that for the whole of the Kalends of every month the spirits would be given their employment, so the Anio might run clean for the rest. Footnotes 1. 1 Roman stadium 2. "A wondrous spiced drink" 3. Minimum flow seems to be approximately 3.5 million liters per hour—about half of the Aqua Claudia's maximum flow rate while operational. 4. Cura Praetoria Sapientae Occultae, a division of the Praetorian Guard dedicated to the containment and/or destruction of anomalous creatures and objects that were a threat or inconvenience to the Roman empire. 5. Full regnal name of the emperor more commonly known as Caligula. 6. The emperor's title in his role as high priest of the Roman state religion. 7. The springs that were the source of the Aqua Claudia. 8. "Curator Arcanorum" — an appointed position in the Roman government, attested in only a few places; the existence of the office itself seems to have been a state secret. Individuals with this name are attested intermittently as Curator Arcanorum from the rule of Caligula until the fall of the Western Roman Empire; see Person of Interest file POI-37β. 9. Divus Caius Neos Helios, a title associated with the worship of Caligula as a living god. 10. The full regnal name of the emperor Vespasian 11. The Latin name of the Aniene. 12. The Latin term for the first day of the month. 13. Seers who predicted the future through the flight of birds and the livers of sheep, respectively.

SCP-1709 is a human female, approximately 52 years of age and of Quechua descent, measuring 1.

*** Item #: SCP-1709 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1709 is to be kept in a standard humanoid containment cell in Medical Bay 2 at Site-34. SCP-1709 is to receive intravenous hydration, and nutrition through enteral feeding as directed by medical personnel, and is to be maintained in accordance with established physiological protocols for subjects exhibiting symptoms consistent with a score of between 9-16 on the Bush-Francis Catatonia Scale. SCP-1709 is to receive monthly medical examinations, and updates to its containment protocols adjusted as necessary by the Research Director. Personnel are not allowed to speak in SCP-1709's presence or make attempts to communicate with it unless authorized to do so by the Research Director. SCP-1709-01aa through SCP-1709-01af are to be preserved and kept in Specimen Locker 13-C. All subsequent instances of SCP-1709-01 are to be treated as biohazardous waste after the conclusion of related research and incinerated immediately thereafter. Description: SCP-1709 is a human female, approximately 52 years of age and of Quechua descent, measuring 1.54 m and weighing 54.3 kg. Due to SCP-1709's limited willingness to communicate on the subject and poor record-keeping by local authorities in the Ayacucho region of Peru, little is known about its provenance beyond general information. SCP-1709 is apparently in a catatonic state, and displays very little ability or inclination to act on its own behalf outside of documented anomalous behavior. SCP-1709 lacks most of the major internal organs found in human specimens. Instead, SCP-1709's vital biological functions are carried out by a series of organisms bearing a superficial resemblance to a mass of fused human fetuses in various stages of development. Ultrasound imaging and biopsies have determined that these organisms have adapted specialized cells and structures to effectively duplicate necessary life functions. Examples include SCP-1709's "heart", which consists of two approximately 19 cm fetuses joined at the spine that have developed exaggerated musculature and four internal "chambers"; a "pancreas" made up of an indeterminate number of smaller embryos that somehow manufactures insulin, glucagon and related pancreatic secretions; and a mass consisting of three fetal human heads that has been documented to replicate the combined function of the liver and the kidneys. DNA analysis of tissue samples retrieved from these structures have determined that these organisms are genetically identical to SCP-1709. Despite its catatonic state, SCP-1709 has demonstrated a limited capacity for communication. When another human has addressed SCP-1709 directly, in 43% of documented cases it has responded with whatever information it has at its disposal. SCP-1709 communicates by somehow processing the remarks directed at it, and subsequently expectorating a human fetus from a sac connected to its esophagus, which "gestates" between 3-8 organisms at any given time. These fetuses appear to be at approximately 10-12 weeks of development. This fetus (hereby designated as an instance of SCP-1709-01) will then vocalize a response to the inquiry or statement originally directed at SCP-1709. SCP-1709-01 manages this vocalization despite the lack of a fully developed larynx or lungs. Responses typically consist of one or two sentences. Every instance of SCP-1709-01 speaks with a voice consistent with that of an elderly woman with slight damage to the vocal cords associated with a heavy smoking habit. SCP-1709's linguistic aptitude appears to be primarily the Quechua II-C dialect, with a limited understanding of basic Spanish. Instances of SCP-1709-01 will communicate primarily in Quechua, but as of ██/██/████ will occasionally speak in broken, rudimentary English. After communicating, instances of SCP-1709-01 will then expire in a manner consistent with the removal of pre-viable human fetuses. Interview Log-1709-2: Researcher's Note: The following log is a conversation recorded on ██/██/████ between SCP-1709 and Research Director Dr. Khaled Iqbal. Researcher Jauregui, fluent in several Quechua dialects, provided English-Quechua translation between Dr. Iqbal, SCP-1709, and SCP-1709-01's responses. Dr. Iqbal: In our previous conversation, SCP-1709, you declined to provide details about your life prior to your time at Site-34. Have you reconsidered our request for this information? I can assure you that we are merely trying to establish a scientific account. (Staff waits for response for 2 minutes and 18 seconds. SCP-1709 expectorates SCP-1709-01dk; specimen lands on table in front of SCP-1709 and commences vocalization) SCP-1709-01dk: <You're not the only doctors I've seen. Pishtaku comes in many forms. You'll not get anything from me, dogs.> Dr. Iqbal: Very well, SCP-1709, though again I must stress that the Foundation does not mean you any harm whatsoever. How would you describe your current living conditions? (Staff waits for response for 1 minute and 48 seconds. SCP-1709-01dk is collected at this time by staff for post-interview incineration. SCP-1709 expectorates SCP-1709-01dl; specimen commences response.) SCP-1709-01dl: <Give me back my pipe and tobacco. I asked about this before.> Dr. Iqbal: And you were informed at that time that your request has been denied based on the Foundation's prohibitions on providing addictive and harmful substances to subjects in our care. As was your appeal to the medical staff. Are there any other details of your day-to-day care that you would like to address? (Staff waits for response for six minutes and 32 seconds before determining that no response is forthcoming.) END TRANSCRIPT Incident 1709-1: On ██/██/████, SCP-1709 deviated from its demonstrated catatonic behavior, and initiated conversation with janitorial staff that was in the process of cleaning its containment cell. Staff immediately alerted research personnel, which documented the following communications from SCP-1709: SCP-1709-01fb: <I have a joke for you. A merchant visits a small village. He has many fine rugs, and sturdy farming tools. But the village is poor. The headman knows how poor they are, so he sends the most beautiful girl in the village to see the merchant. 'Make a deal', he says.> (SCP-1709-01fb expires. Staff collects specimen and waits 2 minutes and 56 seconds before SCP-1709 expectorates SCP-1709-01fc.) SCP-1709-01fc: <The girl goes to see the merchant. He is a lecherous pig, which she expected. 'We have no gold here,' she says. 'But I think I know what you want.' The merchant grins. 'Yes,' he said, 'but these are some of the best goods in the land. It will take more than one time to satisfy me for what I bring.' The girl agrees to his terms and they conclude their business.> (SCP-1709-01fc expires. Staff collects specimen and waits 1 minute and 9 seconds before SCP-1709 expectorates SCP-1709-01fd.) SCP-1709-01fd: <Afterwards, the merchant picks up his pack and starts to leave. He points to all the goods he has brought with him. 'It's all yours' he says. The girl, no stranger to this kind of bartering, is surprised. But she is too cagey to show it. As she gets ready to take the cart into town, the merchant looks at her, tips his cap, and says, 'please, keep the change'.> (SCP-1709-01fd expires. Staff collects specimen and waits 3 minutes and 21 seconds before SCP-1709 expectorates SCP-1709-01fe.) SCP-1709-01fe: HAHAHAHAHAHA! (SCP-1709-01fe continues laughing well beyond the documented viability period for SCP-1709-01 instances. After 3 hours of observation, research staff dispose of specimens collected during Incident 1709-1. SCP-1709-01fe continues laughing until incineration.) Researcher's Note: To date, Incident 1709-1 remains the only recorded instance of SCP-1709 initiating communication with Foundation personnel.

SCP-3012 is a former high-ranking member of GoI-5869, “Gamers Against Weed,” further interviews have been authorized.

*** Item #: SCP-3012 Object Class: Keter Special Containment Procedures: Currently, SCP-3012 is uncontained. Foundation AIs (ATLS-67 and GRGN-2) are to monitor street cameras in major cities and internet communications for appearances or descriptions of SCP-3012-1. Mobile Task Force Gamma-42 (“Buzzkills”) is currently focused on acquisition of the entity, if possible, along with cleanup of Dybbuk events. Cleanup of Dybbuk events require administration of appropriate amnestics to affected civilians and removal of confirmed instances of SCP-3012-1. All research into SCP-3012 is to focus upon a method of predicting Dybbuk events. If possible, SCP-3012 is to be contained during a Dybbuk event. Due to the use of the Scranton Reality-Anchor in containing SCP-3012's former form, all MTF G-42 members are to be equipped with handheld SRAs. Archived Special Containment Procedures: + Open  - Close SCP-3012 is to remain in the center of three overlapping Scranton Reality-Anchors at all times. This has proven effective in stopping its ability to teleport to the sites of future Dybbuk events and also from performing them within the site. SCP-3012 is to be given four novels a month, with an emphasis placed on the horror genre. SCP-3012's room is to be sparsely furnished at its request. Description: SCP-3012 is an incorporeal entity at the source of Dybbuk events. Prior to its physical form expiring, SCP-3012 was contained under the same designation at Site-93's Anomalous Humanoid Wing. SCP-3012's primary effect involves the creation of SCP-3012-1 instances at locations where children and teenagers congregate. SCP-3012-1 refers to messages that spontaneously appear inside and around the location of a Dybbuk event. Instances of SCP-3012-1 are drawn in charcoal, red paint, and, in rare cases, crayon. SCP-3012-1 instances vary in content, but most involve threats of grievous bodily harm and routinely incorporate the names of individuals within SCP-3012's current location. SCP-3012 has also demonstrated the ability to cause visual and audio phenomena at the site of a Dybbuk event, normally manifesting in dark figures and laughter without a source. Dybbuk events are defined by the appearance of SCP-3012-1 instances. Dybbuk events precede the occurrence of an event that could potentially prove fatal to one or more of the targets; the apparent purpose of Dybbuk events is to motivate the targets to evacuate the area before this event occurs. The method SCP-3012 uses to predict these events is unclear. Examples of SCP-3012-1 Instances: Smoke the Reefer, Meet the Reaper Kevin Kevin Kevin Kevin KeVI N i love you and i need you to say with me i need you to stay here and i need you to never leave Tick Tock, Little Boys. Tick Tock. [Full Name Deleted] I Am Going To Eviscerate All You Hold Dear In This World help me oh god help me he's here he's coming please hel [This message appeared next to a crudely drawn pentagram] The Father Rises. Rejoice. Cry Cry Cry All You want you Can't Get AWAY from the boogEyman Get Out Of My Fucking House let me fucking touch you just once let me fucking touch you eddie you smell so pretty Archived Interview-3012-2W: + Open  - Close Dr. Weinberg: Good morning, SCP-3012. Have you slept well? SCP-3012: Yeah, you know I don't sleep, dog. Probs got wild cameras looking at my dick all the time. Got an itch I can't scratch, and it sucks real bad. Dr. Weinberg: You're referring here to Dybbuk events? SCP-3012: Oh fuck yeah. Is that what you're calling those? Pretty good name. I mean, I don't know what a dybbuk is, really, but I saw Rugrats as a kid. Cool shit, cool shit. Dr. Weinberg: I believe it is fitting. You're only trying to scare them, aren't you? The house we took you out of just collapsed yesterday. How did you know that was going to happen? SCP-3012: I get pulled. I get pulled real hard. You'dn't get it. I don't think you'd get any of it, Dr. Dorko. It just makes sense. Like the sheep from when I was a kid. Dr. Weinberg: You have memories of your past life? That's so strange, considering… SCP-3012: Considering what? Dr. Weinberg coughs and looks to the camera for verification on how to continue. Due to unforeseen possible anomalies, “Misters Against Weed” and others are normally given no information surrounding the containment of other instances. SCP-3012: Fuck. You got others? They made more? They thought I was funny? Shit, I never thought they thought I was funny. I just thought they were trying to be nice to me. Shit. Did they even make Mr. Destiny? That owns. This owns. This is fantastic. Dr. Weinberg: What makes you different, then? Why would you have memories where others do not? SCP-3012: I'm me. I got hit by a fucking bus. Real tragic, honest. Big loss to the world. I'm joking, by the way, I sucked. But yeah, I thought they just did it as my final wishes. But they made more? They really made more? Dr. Weinberg: Where have their memories gone? SCP-3012: Shit, dog. You can't have a memory if you never had that shit to begin with. Take an ice cream scoop, take a big dollop of ambient soul from the world around us all hippie and shit, and put it all together nice and condensed. And theoretically, you could get an entity you can tweak. It's amazing, really. It's so cool it works without a full soul. It'd suck to have to find a dead body for every Mister, you know? That shit is nasty. Dr. Weinberg: So you were involved in the Misters Against Weed? SCP-3012: Yeah. I wrote the joke. Dr. Weinberg: So you're familiar with PoI-6870, Jude Kriyot? SCP-3012: You mean Blunt? Yeah, shit, I knew Blunt. What the fuck are the numbers for, dude? Pee-oh-eye? Whatever, Dr. Dorko. Fuck, can you believe Blunt liked my joke? I didn't think he liked me. But shit, he liked my joke. Further communication with SCP-3012 was met with continued asides about happiness regarding the “success” of its “joke.” No other viable information was found. With the information that SCP-3012 is a former high-ranking member of GoI-5869, “Gamers Against Weed,” further interviews have been authorized. Archived Interview-3012-7W: + Open  - Close Dr. Weinberg: Hello again, SCP-3012? Are you comfortable? SCP-3012: I actually don't have any real bodily feelings at all. It's pretty cool. The only thing I feel is, you know, when I make the words on the walls. Dr. Weinberg: What does that feel like? SCP-3012: Feels like if string could come out of your fingers. If you had orifices there. It feels natural, like it's ready. I mean, there's nothing happening. It's obviously my fucking, you know, phantom body feelings. A confused soul stuck in a fucked up brought back body trying to remember touches. It's because of the nature of the way they took my soul, you know. Just yanked it. Wild shit, right? God, I could talk all day about this shit. Dr. Weinberg: We have. SCP-3012: You're okay for a janitor, you know? I know what you're doing. I mean we both know what you're doing here. But it's cool to talk. You're pretty smart. And you study this shit, don't you? I always used to infodump a little too much. About this shit. Plugged up the chat. After I did it, I'd always feel so anxious. They never said anything. Dr. Weinberg: You felt like an outsider? SCP-3012: It's more, like, just added to my mounting list of character flaws. Always thought it was gonna be the straw and the camel. Dr. Weinberg: You're not that bad. SCP-3012: Fuck you, dorko. But yeah, I am. I always had a natural inclination toward meanness. I don't know why Blunt kept me. I think he felt bad for me. I thought he always regretted it. When he let me into the group. I just, you know, I'm aggressive. I don't know. The chat was a gentle place. A lot of people there were hurting and looking for laughs. I've always been in the fucking, uh, you know. Insult comedy puppet dog? That shit is hysterical. Wasn't exactly the best fit for the room sometimes. They made fun of each other. But I was always meaner. More cutting. I got banned a few times, you know. Like more than anyone else. You know how fucked up you gotta be to get banned from the Gamers Against Weed chat? I remember how disappointed Bones would always be. That hurt the most. I remember, shit, I don't know why I always tell you this shit. I remember this one time I said something horrible to JJ. I got banned. I felt like such a piece of shit. I mean, I never considered it. I was trying to be playful, you know. Like a playful joke. Jesus, that was me. And they always let me come back. I think, it was because they knew I was stupid. I was alone. Shit, when I first joined, I had to have been seventeen. I just thought that shit was acceptable. I thought a slur wasn't bad if you said it without trying to be hateful. But it's always hateful, isn't it? I was always good at hate. Even when I didn't know it. I don't know. I just don't know how they dealt with me. I thought, you know, if you were offended, you were policing humor. But they, uh, they always let me back. They always told me what I did wrong. And, uh, I just can't believe they're still doing the Misters. Dr. Weinberg: What did you say? SCP-3012: I said, “if JJ's so lucky, why was he born a faggot?” I just, I don't know. It's one of those things you think of all the time when you close your eyes. Which, I don't need to do, so this is like metaphorical. I remember how JJ just logged off. And he's untouchable. JJ has never been uncomfortable in his life, and I made him log off. JJ wanted me back the next day. Bones and Blunt wouldn't have it. They said I needed some thinking time. It was good for me. I hated them for it at the time. But they were right. Fucking robots and stoners, right? Dr. Weinberg: Why not Mr. Deadly Sins, if you really consider yourself so bad? SCP-3012: I wanted to be able to use my meanness to be good. I wanted to save people, and I wanted to be alone, so I couldn't hurt anyone anymore. Threats, gore, being creepy, I guess it comes natural to me. Jesus. I'm still fucked up they liked me, in the end. They kept up my joke. Dr. Weinberg: Couldn't they just think it was funny? SCP-3012: I don't know if they even think I'm funny, honest. Maybe this is just how they remember me. How they keep me alive. They let me go after I got all Mister'd, like I asked. I wanted to go out and do it. I figured, you know, they just, you know, felt bad. They were just doing my last wishes. But keeping it up? It's weird. It makes me feel like I did matter. I wish I didn't leave so soon. But it was better that way. The whole point of this is to be, you know, full-on Mr. Ominous. Mr. Ominous can't hang out in his bud Blunt's room and smoke weed and get in screaming matches with his roommate. Mr. Ominous, you know, fucking, writes the magic words on the wall and makes teens shit themselves. Dr. Weinberg: It sounds almost noble. But is scaring them really the best way to go about this? SCP-3012: I don't really know anything else. Archived Interview-3012-17W: + Open  - Close At this point in time, SCP-3012's physical form was failing. Due to its anomalies, medical intervention was impossible. This was the last time SCP-3012 was able to be interviewed. Before Dr. Weinberg could begin, SCP-3012 began the interview. SCP-3012: So is this a meeting about how I'm dying? Dr. Weinberg: Do you want to call it a meeting? SCP-3012: It doesn't matter. I'm just being weird. I never told you how I found about Dr. Wondertainment, right? You never asked. Seems like slipshod detective work. But, I had one of their things as a kid. You hear about the fucking chicken soup they make? Stick to the fucking toys. Dr. Weinberg: So thus began a lifelong obsession, I take it? SCP-3012: Oh yeah. Heavy into conspiracy theory shit and the occult. Magic shit. It's how I got into the chat, you know. In the end. Dr. Weinberg: SCP-3012, I've been reviewing past conversations we've had, and I've seen you mention a “sheep” a few times. I've never probed, because, well, I know you don't like that. But, before we can't speak anymore, could you tell me what you meant? SCP-3012: My grandma's guard sheep. Dr. Weinberg: You're going to have to explain this one to me. SCP-3012: She had this stuffed animal. Must've been my mom's. It was old. A sheep, obviously. It had a pointy black triangle face. But it didn't have any eyes. It stood up on these weirdly hard little feet. And it didn't have eyes. It just stared. So she'd put it in front of places she didn't want me going to. And I guess it was for the best. My grandpa made the house in the sixties. You could fit a fucking watermelon through the spokes in the bannister. I don't think they knew about safety back then. She was a bitch, though. She always yelled at me. Always screamed at me to stay out of her backyard. She lived near a fucking forest. Always told me some bad man was gonna snatch me if I ran too far. Hit me a couple times. I loved her, though. I had to love my grandma. And, I don't know. That's what safety is to me. It's doing the mean things to make people not dead. I guess. It's not exactly the best move, but it's all I got, dorko. Dr. Weinberg: Thank you for telling me this. I admit, it's been on my mind. SCP-3012: It's cool you're so interested in my shit. But yeah, I'm getting tired. I think I need to go now. Doctor, I just wanna tell you, no matter what animes say, the prototype is always way shittier. Dr. Weinberg: That's fine, SCP-3012. I hope you have a comfortable evening. We will make your passing as peaceful as possible. SCP-3012: Yeah. I'm not worried. I'm persistent. Dr. Weinberg: What do you mean? SCP-3012: I'm not about to ruin the surprise, dog. Archived Document-3012: Holy Heck! How did you even find your very own Mr. Ominous by Gamers Against Weed!? What does it even mean for an entity to be discontinued? When you stop playing with a toy, does it die? Who is Dr. Wondertainment? Find them all and become Mr. Gamer! 01. Mr. Literal Serial Killer 02. Mr. Normie 03. Mr. Bernie Sanders 04. Mr. Get Anything For Free In Any Shop 20. Mr. Sex Number 21. Mr. Heavenly Virtues 22. Mr. Deadly Sins 23. Mr. Original Character 24. Mr. D.A.R.E. 25. Mrs. Gentrification 26. Mr. Mad About Video Games 27. Mr. Meme 28. Mr. Ominous (discontinued) ✔ 29. Mr. Destiny 30. Mr. Monty Python And The Holy Grail 31. Ms. Zapatista 32. Mr. Hax 33. Mr. Just Has The Tattoo 34. Mr. Top Text and Mr. Bottom Text 35. Mr. Finale

SCP-4347 is a female Capra aegagrus hircus2, bearing close resemblance to the American Lamancha breed.

*** Item#: 4347 Level1 Containment Class: euclid Secondary Class: none Disruption Class: dark Risk Class: notice link to memo SCP-4347 Special Containment Procedures: Site-71 Parazoology Division is to provide SCP-4347 with the standard maintenance required of a typical Capra aegagrus hircus1. Under no circumstance is food outside of the dietary plan to be brought into or around SCP-4347's livestock containment enclosure. Description: SCP-4347 is a female Capra aegagrus hircus2, bearing close resemblance to the American Lamancha breed. SCP-4347's weight and height3 are within normal parameters, showing no physical deviation from non-anomalous Capra aegagrus hircus. While attempting to find food, SCP-4347 has shown a unique intelligence beyond what is typical for its species. It has shown the ability to correctly identify which of two possible targets is in possession of food, even when lacking visual or olfactory indicators. The means by which it identifies food-bearing targets is currently unknown. To date SCP-4347 has only used its anomalous nature to consume more food, showing no signs of non-food related aggression. It is unknown whether these are learned behaviors, or if SCP-4347 has an unnatural level of inherent intelligence. Cranial impact from SCP-4347 causes human targets to undergo an out-of-body-experience, documented as a Departure Event4 This renders the target unconscious but causes no harm to the target’s body. The target's projected self is designated SCP-4347-1 until the conclusion of the event. Testimony of former SCP-4347-1 instances describes the event as floating above their body with the ability to see the surrounding area; testing indicates accurate perception of events while unconscious. Instances of SCP-4347-1 are capable of thought-induced movement and can use this locomotion to return to their bodies. Departure Events typically last between two to five minutes, concluding once SCP-4347-1 returns to their body's location, at which point the target regains consciousness. There is currently no known method of recording SCP-4347-1 instances, and testing of SCP-4347 has been unable to determine the origin of its anomalous nature. Discovery: On 7/20/2018, an asset in the National Park Service alerted the Foundation to possible anomalous activity occurring in Springton California, specifically Wallace Smith National Park. U.S Park Ranger Tomas McLean filed 46 consecutive reports of “goats attacking visitors' souls”, within a two-hour period. MTF Victor-17 (“Nature Boys”) was dispatched to evaluate the situation. With help from Ranger McLean, SCP-4347 was successfully contained on 7/24/2018. Upon retrieval SCP-4347 was wearing a non-anomalous collar with a name tag inscribed "WHITE BETTY". Video Log Recovered Video Transcript 4347-A Date: 7/22/2018 Details: Video recovered from Ranger McLean’s personal cellphone, the short video shows Ranger McLean and Deputy Ranger Cortez attempting to capture SCP-4347. [BEGIN LOG] [Camera pans to show a small clearing, Deputy Cortez is standing in the center holding a foot-long sandwich. The camera than switches view to show Ranger McLean’s face] Ranger McLean: Okay folks, me and the rookie are gonna catch us a ghost goat. [Camera view changes again and zooms in to show an improvised leg snare trap tied to a tree.] Ranger McLean: Boss-man says I can’t shoot the sucker, course with him not believing me and all, but that’s okay I’ll catch this son-of-a-bitch the old fashion way. You ready over there Rookie?! [Camera pans to show Deputy Cortez giving a thumbs up before walking into the brush off camera.] Ranger McLean: Rookie over there is gonna get the goat chasin’ him right over to this trap, then we’ll see who’s floatin’ now. [Laughter] [Deputy Cortez is seen bursting from the brush running toward the camera. He stops just past where the trap is set. SCP-4347 comes through the brush but stops in the clearing and stares towards the camera.] Ranger McLean: Well what the fuck’s it waitin’ on? Deputy Cortez: I don’t know boss, maybe it’s scared. [SCP-4347 is seen pulling some weeds out by the root and consuming them, it then turns around and enters the brush at a fast pace.] Ranger McLean: I guess it's scared. Deputy Cortez: Maybe it just doesn't want a turkey club? Ranger Mclean: Why the fuck would it not- Deputy Cortez: What was that?! [Camera swings around in time to catch SCP-4347 charging towards Deputy Cortez from behind to initiate a Departure Event. Ranger McLean begins running which distorts the video substantially. A snap is heard as the leg snare activates, the camera angle flips upside down and begins to sway back and forth.] Ranger McLean: Goddammit, Rookie, come get me down from here! Cortez?! [The swaying stops showing Deputy Cortez unconscious on the ground, SCP-4347 is standing over him eating the turkey club.] Ranger McLean: Son-of-a-bitch. [The branch holding Ranger McLean can be heard snapping seconds before the video cuts out.] [END LOG] - Close Interview Log Interview 4347 Interviewed: U.S. Park Ranger Tomas McLean Interviewer: MTF Victor-17-1 (Agent Lazzo Birch) Foreword: Interview takes place in the office of Ranger McLean, located in the Wallace Smith National Park. Attending MTF Victor-17 agents are disguised as U.S. Fish and Wildlife Officers. <Begin Log> Agent Birch: Alright Mr. McLean, we’re ready to begin. Ranger McLean: Pretty fancy, they givin’ all you boys tape recorders these days? Agent Birch: It’s just for our records Mr. McLean, we’d li- Ranger McLean: Woah there buddy, Call me Tom, Mr. McLean’s my father's name. [Laughter] Agent Birch: Alright Tom, we just want to know about the reports you filed, regarding the 46 “ghost goat” incidents. Ranger McLean: I’ll tell ya man, strangest shit I’ve ever heard. Four weeks of reports about a goat stealing food and turnin’ folks into ghosts. Agent Birch: The reports don’t mention any deaths. Ranger McLean: No, No, No. Not that kinda’ ghost. It’s like a-a, out-of-body experience, that’s the word. They said while they’re floatin’ there, they see the goat stealing their food, how was I supposed to believe that shit. Agent Birch: But now you’ve seen this goat firsthand? Ranger McLean: That’s the thing man, I didn’t believe any of ‘em, not until I saw it for myself. Agent Birch: When did this encounter take place? Ranger McLean: Well let’s see, what was it, last Thursday. I’m out there by the creek near the campsite, eatin’ lunch, mindin’ my own, I hear some rustlin’ in the bushes. Big sucker of a goat charges out at me and BAM, next thing I know I’m floatin’ there. Swear-to-God. Agent Birch: Can you describe what that was like? Ranger McLean: Not gonna lie, it was pretty cool at first, almost forgot what was goin' on. Couldn't feel anything but I could see and hear, at first I was floating still. Then I saw a squirrel in the tree, thought about wishin' I could take a better look, sure as shit I started movin' towards the trees. Agent Birch: So the goat attacked you, and you were floating towards the trees, what happened next? Ranger Mclean: I remembered what the fuck was goin on, started freakin’ out trying to get to my body, I start moving towards it and what do I see, the goddamn goat eatin’ my turkey club. I shit you not man, got back to my body, big bright flash of white and then I’m wakin’ up, see the goat hoofin' into the brush, fast as hell. All I found was my sandwich wrapper and a trail of tracks. That afternoon I filed all the goat reports I tossed aside. Agent Birch: Did you have any interaction with the goat after this incident? Ranger McLean: Well you uh, you see, me and Deputy Cortez saw it yesterday, over by the creek again. But he you know, got away, found some tracks but like I said this sucker is fast. Agent Birch: Well, Tom, I can’t say we’ve heard this one before, but I believe we can help. My boys will camp out here while we track down the goat. We'll make sure he won’t be bothering you any longer. Ranger McLean: You guys must see some crazy shit, crazy ghost goat doesn’t make you bat an eye. Good to have you boys around. [Laughter] <End Log> Closing Statement: SCP-4347 was recovered the next day without incident. After luring SCP-4347 into a clearing, using a turkey club sandwich provided by Ranger McLean, MTF Victor-17 subdued the subject via tranquilizer dart. After the recovery of SCP-4347 Tomas McLean was administered a class C amnestic, and all data involving SCP-4347 incidents were confiscated or expunged from the records. - Close Dietary Notice 4347-1 NOTICE FROM SITE-71 PARAZOOLOGY DEPARTMENT After its initial medical evaluation, the diet plan for SCP-4347 is to be regulated further in order to better suit its developing diabetes. All staff are to refrain from feeding SCP-4347 any food not a part of its updated diet plan. — Dr. Hill, Head Parazoologist, Site-71 - Close Footnotes 1. All care is to be handled by D-class personnel that have been briefed on the subject's anomalous ability prior to assuming duties. 2. Commonly known as the Domestic Goat. 3. As of last medical evaluation SCP-4347 weighs 54kgs at a height of 114cm. 4. Consciousness separates itself from the target's body, allowing for subsistence unattached to the physical plane.

SCP-4752 is a large mountain located at the southern end of the Transantarctic Mountain Range resembling a right angle triangle with a concave hypotenuse.

*** Item #: SCP-4752 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: A 5000km2 exclusion zone has been established around SCP-4752. Exploration and research teams that come within 100 kilometres of this exclusion zone are to be re-directed to their basecamp under the guise of "seismic activity". Description: SCP-4752 is a large mountain located at the southern end of the Transantarctic Mountain Range resembling a right angle triangle with a concave hypotenuse. Geological studies have indicated that since the late 16th century, SCP-4752's mass has been slowly concentrating beneath its peak, at the far west of the mountain, with no non-anomalous geological explanation. The rate of transfer has been accelerating since the 1980s. As of 2019, 44% of SCP-4752's mass was concentrated beneath its peak. Addendum-4752-001: Geological studies have indicated significant shifts in mass on the following dates, amongst others: 33 CE December 1792 1873 - 1879 24/10/1929 19/10/1987 15/09/2008 20/02/2020 Addendum-4752-002: On 06/09/2020, GoI-3425 ("Anochists") launched an assault on the west side of SCP-4752, during which an estimated 30% of SCP-4752's mass was lost. Members of GoI-3425 planted a nuclear explosive at the base of SCP-4752's west side and detonated it after a retreat. Following this, world economic output suffered a decline of 26%.

SCP-338 is a portable crank- and battery-powered survival radio manufactured by █████ ███████████, Inc.

*** Item #: SCP-338 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-338 is to be activated and constantly monitored at all times, with its broadcasts recorded for later analysis. Every 10 minutes, the channel is to be changed, alternating between the broadcasts at 89.1 MHz, 100.2 MHz, 104.9 MHz and 107.9 MHz. If at any time SCP-338 does not receive a broadcast on one of these frequencies, Dr. ███████ is to be immediately notified and the entire frequency band is to be scanned to determine the status of the remaining broadcasts. Only personnel with Level 3 clearance or greater are allowed to listen to, interpret, or analyze data resulting from recordings of SCP-338. No personnel are allowed to spend more than 100 cumulative hours interpreting the broadcast at frequency 107.9 MHz. Any personnel that has reached the maximum number of hours of exposure is to be administered a class C amnestic and returned to the regular workforce as appropriate. All personnel working on data from the broadcast at 107.9 MHz are to be searched before leaving the data analysis center. Any and all data storage devices are to be confiscated and the personnel involved terminated, in order to prevent the possibility of [REDACTED] occurring in this reality. Description: SCP-338 is a portable crank- and battery-powered survival radio manufactured by █████ ███████████, Inc. Disassembly reveals no anomalies compared to similar radios, with the exception of 3 small (~1 mm in diameter) drops of solder on the receiver circuitry. Replicating this defect on other models does not result in effects similar to SCP-338. Excepting the anomalous properties described below, SCP-338 functions identically to similar models manufactured by █████ ███████████, Inc. SCP-338 is capable of receiving anomalous broadcast signals on 11 different frequencies. These broadcasts maintain the same signal strength, no matter the physical location of SCP-338. Each broadcast appears to originate from a greatly different reality. With the exception of the one at 100.2 MHz, all broadcasts appear to be live and transmitted at the same date and time that they are received by SCP-338, as indicated by references to known natural disasters. The broadcast frequencies and a brief description of their general contents are as follows: Frequency Contents Primary Language(s) 88.7 MHz orchestral music, pieces unknown Tagalog 89.1 MHz talk radio, primarily focused on politics & sports mixture of French and Mandarin 91.8 MHz religious hymns and chants, primarily Hindu Urdu 94.5 MHz rap and tejano music, pieces unknown mixture of English and Zuni 97.0 MHz heavy static, faint voices heard, content unknown unknown 99.3 MHz smooth jazz, pieces unknown heavily distorted Korean 100.2 MHz emergency broadcast Latin 101.7 MHz electronic/dance music, pieces unknown unknown/unidentified 103.4 MHz minor static, country music, pieces unknown Swahili 104.9 MHz education programs Arabic 107.9 MHz [REDACTED] [REDACTED] Although the music broadcasts are interesting from a cultural viewpoint, the talk-based broadcasts are the primary focus of analysis. The broadcast at 89.1 MHz references political scenarios extremely similar to those found in the United States of America, but describe actions and events 4-6 weeks before they occur in the Foundation's reality. Although the political situations appear analogous, all names of people and places are different, mostly indicating a French or Mandarin origin. The broadcast at 100.2 MHz is apparently a looped recording of survival instructions, rendezvous locations, and status updates about "The Great War", and seems to describe an EK-class scenario caused by the release of SCP-1427. The contents are changed and updated sporadically, ranging from twice daily to once every 3 weeks. The broadcast at 104.9 MHz is a mixture of educational programs suitable for university-level classes, covering topics including electronics, mathematics, biology, art history, literature, and "star building". Many of the science topics covered indicate a technological base significantly different from and possibly more advanced than that currently possessed by the Foundation. The broadcast at 107.9 MHz [DATA EXPUNGED], which constitutes a major security breach in the event of [REDACTED]. Although the physical modifications necessary to [REDACTED] are not readily available, [DATA EXPUNGED] in no more than 4 years.

SCP-1337 is a Level 2 Humanoid Apparition, location bound, non-violent, corporeal Level 5 Humanoid Apparition, free roaming, corporeal, actively aggressive.

*** Item #: SCP-1337 Object Class: Safe Decommissioned Euclid Special Containment Procedures: The section of road designated 1337-Alpha is to be monitored at all times. During active time periods a sweep is to be performed every hour, by a lone security agent in a non-Foundation standard car, at all other times remote monitoring is allowed. When contact is made with SCP-1337, said agent is to stop his vehicle, and offer it a ride. Agent is to adhere exclusively to the provided script, and not attempt to engage SCP-1337 in any further conversation. After arrival at site 1337-Beta, agent is to wait in the car 15 minutes after departure of SCP-1337 and then to retrieve item 1337-Gamma, and return it to the E-class Agents at Site 1337-Delta. After the results of incident 1337-L██████, Dr. L██████ is to be the sole operative assigned to active phase monitoring duty. Given that three years have passed since any occurrence of SCP-1337, this SCP is now considered decommissioned. After the events of Incident 1337-L██████-2, SCP-1337 has been reinstated, and upgraded to Euclid class. During the 19th of each month, the 'active' phase of SCP-1337, the system of roads known collectively as 1337-Alpha are to be constantly patrolled for signs of SCP-1337. In the event said SCP is spotted, a D-class is to be inserted into a remotely controlled vehicle, and guided to the spot of its appearance. Upon acquiring SCP-1337, the vehicle is to be driven to Site 1337-Delta, and the remains of the D-class disposed of. If SCP-1337 is not spotted, this anomaly must be immediately reported. Description: SCP-1337 is a Level 2 Humanoid Apparition, location bound, non-violent, corporeal Level 5 Humanoid Apparition, free roaming, corporeal, actively aggressive. It appears to be the wraith of one Mary Talish, who was abducted, ritually tortured, and executed on May 19th, 1952, in Muncie, Indiana. Starting 19 months after her death, SCP-1337 began to appear on the 19th of every month, walking down Mayflower Road (1337-Alpha), attempting to flag down any passing vehicle. It would tell anyone who picked it up that it had gotten lost, and was in need of a ride back to its home (1337-Delta). SCP-1337 would give directions in such a way as to ensure passing the graveyard where Mary Talish was buried (1337-Beta), and then encourage the driver to stop at the cemetery. Once out of the vehicle, SCP-1337 would vanish, leaving the driver to find her sweater (1337-Gamma). Anyone touching 1337-Gamma would then feel an urge to return the item to Site 1337-Delta, and Mary Talish's parents. Despite many attempts to secure 1337-Gamma, it would invariably vanish from containment at or around sunset on the 19th. SCP-1337 manifests as a female, blonde haired, blue eyed, 150 cm (5 feet) tall, approximately 59 kg (130 pounds). It is dressed conservatively, a mid calf length red skirt, long sleeved button up shirt, and red sweater(1337-Gamma). It appears well groomed, in both body and clothing. See Incident 1337-L██████-2 for current physical description. When the Foundation moved in, it was found most beneficial to recruit the elder Talishs as E-class Agents of the Foundation, in order to prevent them from speaking out. The Agents were told the Foundation was working on a way to set their daughter to rest. Special agents were employed to pick up and transport SCP-1337, as no means of permanently repositioning it were found. Dr. L██████ was placed in command of Foundation resources governing SCP-1337. Incident 1337-L██████: On 6/18/73, Dr. L██████, acting without permission, had the E-class Agents executed, and Site 1337-Delta destroyed. His reasoning was that 'If she has no one to return to, she'll stop coming back.' Dr. L██████ was demoted to Junior Staff for his actions, but not reassigned, under the belief that if SCP-1337 were to form a new attachment, it would most likely be to him. An examination of Dr. L██████s journals revealed that he believed decommissioning SCP-1337 would lead to a promotion, and 'recognition of his brilliance.' On 6/19/76, SCP-1337 was considered Decommissioned. Incident 1337-L██████-2: On 6/19/83, Dr. L██████ returned to Site 1337-Alpha, to ensure there were no remnants of SCP-1337. His last transmission consisted only of the words 'Wait, who the hell are yo-' When security arrived on the scene, Dr. L██████ was found deceased, his body mutilated in the same manner as Mary Talish's had been when she was found. Since that time, on the 19th of every month, SCP-1337 has returned, with a different method of operations. Recordings have shown that its physical appearance has changed. SCP-1337 still manifests with the same basic physical appearance, but now shows the wounds of its death. The eyes appear to have been gouged from their sockets, and its clothing is ripped and stained mid-chest, to reveal the empty cavity where its heart was removed. SCP-1337's range of movement has extended to all of the back roads of Muncie. If a vehicle stops for SCP-1337, it vanishes from view, to reappear on another road. Should a vehicle pass SCP-1337 by, it will then appear inside the vehicle, where it will re-enact the methods of its murder upon the driver of the vehicle. SCP-1337 will only appear for vehicles containing one person. This escalation matches those events observed following containment attempts of SCP-973. See internal research paper "Apparition Escalation: Preliminary Research into Human Triggered Escalation of Apparition Hostility" by Tamlin et al. for more details regarding this and other similar phenomena.

SCP-3383 is a small lake in Escambia County of northern Florida, in the United States of America.

*** Item #: SCP-3383 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: The residential properties and forested area directly bordering SCP-3383 have been purchased by a Foundation front company, and are to be occupied by panel-selected D-Class individuals and a staff team of three Level-2 researchers and five security personnel. All houses in the area have been provided with basic amenities and will receive weekly food and essential item deliveries. D-Class personnel assigned to SCP-3383 are to behave as members of a neighborhood largely populated by senior citizens seeking a quiet life. They are to be given daily allotments of tasks to fulfill, including yard maintenance work and processing warehouse items for nearby Foundation sites. Requests for additional leisure material and supervised access to surrounding areas may be made; security staff may fulfill requests based on good behavior. Security personnel are to regularly patrol the perimeter of SCP-3383, under the guise of maintaining proper groundskeeping for the private property. Any unauthorized individuals attempting to access SCP-3383 are to be intercepted, interviewed, and amnesticized prior to release. Description: SCP-3383 is a small lake in Escambia County of northern Florida, in the United States of America. When an individual introduces any man-made artificial material into SCP-3383, all humans within 5 meters of SCP-3383 will perceive a loud, irritating series of noises, noted by test subjects to be similar to the tones produced by a dial-up internet modem. While largely-regarded as annoying, the noises do not appear to cause any lasting negative effects. These noises are not muffled by protective wear, and will not be detected by electronic equipment. Of note, when anomalous noises are produced by SCP-3383, circular patterns of ripples will manifest on its surface, regardless of current wind conditions or attempts to disturb the lake water. Individuals who are hard-of-hearing will perceive vibrations, similar to those caused by large speaker systems. The sounds produced by SCP-3383 will persist for at least 20 minutes before ceasing, or until the man-made object has been removed from the lake. SCP-3383 was first brought to Foundation attention when multiple noise complaints were filed by homeowners in the surrounding neighborhood, which at the time was exclusively populated by senior citizens and single young adults. Older individuals had complained about their younger neighbors constantly using loud computer equipment, which was disputed by the accused who noted that they had never used dial-up internet. A Foundation team was dispatched to the location to begin surveillance, and afterward the house occupants were gradually relocated to other neighborhoods. Addendum SCP-3383-1: When Foundation researchers later began removing various waste articles1 from SCP-3383, they began perceiving a new anomalous noise, nearly identical to the startup tones associated with early Windows products. Subsequent cleaning visits also triggered the softer, more pleasant tones, even prior to personnel beginning the cleaning process. During the winter of 20██, when the Foundation concluded the first preliminary cleaning sweep, SCP-3383 was noted to have completely frozen over for the first time in decades. Prior to this, residents had noted that the water always appeared “agitated”. Addendum SCP-3383-2: Based on recent developments, it is currently believed that SCP-3383 may harbor an anomalous entity. On ██/██/████, upon first arriving at SCP-3383 after receiving the new assignment, Doctors Silas Harjo and Elias Harjo (brothers who had been employed by the Foundation for twenty years) noted that they perceived the outline of a large serpentine shape within the lake. While the entity was not clearly visible, the doctors were reasonably certain that the head of the snakelike being possessed long, stag-like antlers. Subsequent scans and imaging analysis detected no such entity within the lake. The following day, Drs. Harjo and Harjo conducted a trial run of a new experimental process, involving attempting to communicate with SCP-3383 using various pre-recorded electronic tones and short sound clips. Though none of the pre-recorded sounds resulted in a reaction from SCP-3383, when the personnel began lightly conversing2 in their ancestral Muscogee language, a small herd of male deer emerged from the surrounding trees. The deer reportedly appeared non-anomalous, though all possessed some form of injury, whether a malformed leg or a scabbed-over wound. The deer walked to the edge of SCP-3383 and began to drink, upon which their injuries began to disappear. Drs. Harjo and Harjo were then approached by the deer, which laid down next to the shoreline of SCP-3383 and remained in place after the doctors returned to their quarters. The Foundation is currently searching for a spiritual leader of Muscogee importance, or a descendant of a prominent figure of similar cultural folklore background, to facilitate future communication with the entity residing in SCP-3383. Revisions to containment procedures are being discussed to accommodate the deer now permanently residing on the banks of SCP-3383. Footnotes 1. Including plastic drink bottles, electric batteries of various sizes, and a complete computer hard drive. 2. It is noted that neither Silas Harjo nor Elias Harjo are completely fluent in any Muskogean languages.

SCP-1772 is a copy of the 1983 edition of the ███████-███████ Pocket Spanish-English Dictionary, though it has been discovered to have flaws (termed SCP-1772-1) not present in any printings released by the publisher.

*** Item #: SCP-1772 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1772 is kept in a locked plexiglass box in the High-Value Documents section of the Site-19 Archives. Access may be granted with authorization from the Head Archivist and the lead researcher on SCP-1772. All individuals given access to SCP-1772 must be quarantined until verified to be free of SCP-1772-1 infection. Any personnel under the effects of SCP-1772-1 must be terminated or given Class C Amnestics before being allowed out of quarantine. Any written or recorded materials suspected to be infected by SCP-1772-1 should be destroyed or purged. An index of known instances of SCP-1772-1 is kept in Document WWI-1772-B. Description: SCP-1772 is a copy of the 1983 edition of the ███████-███████ Pocket Spanish-English Dictionary, though it has been discovered to have flaws (termed SCP-1772-1) not present in any printings released by the publisher. Attempts to create reproductions of SCP-1772 through mechanical means have so far failed. Images created from scanning its pages are consistently found to be corrupted, while photographs will result in the images being blurred. Due to this, it has been impossible to compile a comprehensive catalog of deviations from non-anomalous printings. SCP-1772's primary effect occurs whenever an individual uses 1772 to translate any word previously unknown to them. Upon activation, subjects will become allergic to any word used in the translation present in SCP-1772. Upon hearing, reading, or writing any word to which they are allergic, affected subjects will immediately exhibit symptoms of anaphylaxis, such as rashes, redness and itching of the eyes, swelling of the face and throat, and difficulty breathing. These reactions are only partially mitigated by standard antihistamines or epinephrin injections, with an efficacy of approximately 30% of normal. Repeated exposures result in escalating intensity of the reactions. Most subjects will require immediate intubation to facilitate breathing after their 16th or 17th exposure. Usage of Class C Amnestics will effectively remove the allergy, however currently exhibited symptoms will continue until healed normally. Following Incident-CB-1772-01-PD a secondary effect caused by flaws in the dictionary was identified. Subsequently the flaws were relabeled as SCP-1772-1. Allergic reactions due to these flaws are more intense1 than standard reactions to SCP-1772, and possess the additional property of contagiousness. Individuals exposed to SCP-1772-1 word pairs from an infected source also become affected. This includes written accounts, recordings, or electronic records made by an affected individual. All attempts to identify an SCP-1772-1 word pair using indirect references without becoming affected have so far failed. Class C Amnestics have also been successful at removing SCP-1772-1 infections from personnel, however no means have been found to remove the effects of SCP-1772-1 from recorded materials short of destruction of the affected items. Use of SCP-1772's effects as a potential containment measures for SCP-1516 has been proposed by researchers on both projects. Investigation into the efficacy of such measures, as well as potential side effects, is currently under investigation. Experiment Logs: Reader: D-2710, speaks/reads English only Word Read: "huevo" (Translation: "egg") Reaction: D-2710 is given a note card with the word "egg" written on it. Upon reading it, she immediately complains of itchy eyes and demonstrates mild swelling of the face. Symptoms abate within 15 minutes. Reader: D-2717, speaks/reads English only Word Read: "fresa" (Translation: "strawberry", "drill (in dentistry)") Reaction: D-2717 displays the expected mild anaphylactic reactions upon reading the words "strawberry", "drill", and "dentistry". After recovering, D-2717 is provided a bowl of strawberries to eat. He does not display any allergic reaction to their consumption. Reader: D-3718, speaks/reads Spanish only Word Read: "cacahuete" (Translation: "peanut") Reaction: D-3718 is given a note card with the word "peanut" written on it, followed by a note card with the word "cacahuete" written on it. He does not display any allergic reaction to either card. Reader: D-3824, fully Spanish/English bilingual Word Read: "hola" (Translation: "hello") Reaction: D-3824 is given a note card with the word "hello" written on it, followed by a note card with the word "hola" written on it. She does not display any allergic reaction to either card. Reader: D-4020, speaks/reads English only Word Read: "risa" (Translation: "laughter", "laugh") Reaction: D-4020 is given a note card with the word "laughter" written on it. She immediately develops a rash over her cheeks. Addendum: D-4020 engaged in conversation with Guard █████ while being escorted back to her cell. During the conversation, she told a joke which caused Guard █████ to start laughing rapidly. D-4020 immediately began to display symptoms of severe anaphylactic shock. An emergency medical response team was able to stabilize her, and she was returned to her cell within 4 hours. In his debriefing, Guard █████ estimates that he said "ha" 9-10 times before D-4020's reaction became obvious. Reader: D-4041, speaks/reads English only, specifically chosen due to being named "Hope" Word Read: "esperanza" (Translation: "hope", "expectation") Reactions: After reading the translation, D-4041 was asked to state her full name for documentation purposes. Upon saying her first name, she immediately began to suffer from expected anaphylactic reactions. However, she also began to complain to the interviewer regarding these symptoms, during which it was discovered that any usage of pronouns referencing herself exacerbated the allergic reaction. D-4041 was stabilized after being exposed to 15 utterances of her name or related personal pronouns2, and was maintained in the medical wing until her termination date. Incident CB-1772-01-PD: Due to perceived near-immunity to the effects of SCP-1772, D-3824 was enlisted to do a complete comparison between SCP-1772 and non-anomalous editions. While compiling a listing of deviations, D-3824 was repeating findings via an intercom back to research assistants Hendricks and Jameson that were overseeing the process. The video of the control room showed the assistants recording D-3824's findings independently and becoming distressed as the effects of SCP-1772-1 became apparent. Ms. Hendricks was able to disable the intercom and trigger an alarm while assistant Jameson retrieved two epi-pens to begin treatment. The contagious nature of SCP-1772-1 was not fully understood until several researchers and agents reviewing the security recordings and the collected written materials also began showings signs of SCP-1772-1 infection. In total, 6 personnel were hospitalized with no casualties among staff3. Recordings and written materials collected from the incident were purged from the records to avoid further infection. Addendum: Efforts to catalog page numbers and word counts to locate mistranslations leading to SCP-1772-1 infections in Document WWI-1772-B are ongoing. There is no current estimation of a completion date due to the difficulty of dealing with constant infection of the cataloger. Further complicating the process is that accuracy cross checks have found the current process to have up to 18% of the entries in Document WWI-1772-B itself be erroneous. The source of these errors is currently undetermined. Footnotes 1. Lethal symptoms usually appearing between 4 to 8 exposures. 2. Observed allergenic words included "Hope", "I", "me", and "my" when used by D-4041 and "she", "her", and "you" when used by other personnel. 3. D-3824 was found to have suffered a myocardial infarction due to anaphylaxis and was pronounced dead on arrival

SCP-1098 is a █-syllable word, with a phoneme pattern consistent with origin among modern speakers of American English.

*** Item #: SCP-1098 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: All written instances of SCP-1098 are to be burned, painted over, or otherwise obliterated. A single recorded instance is kept on a standard audiocasette for study. Under no circumstances should this recording be digitized. All instances of SCP-1098-1 are to be contained in converted class-D barracks. They are to be provided food from the site cafeteria at regular mealtimes. Under no circumstances may they be given writing implements or recording media. A television and puzzles and games are to be provided for entertainment of the SCP-1098-1 instances. The barracks must be soundproofed to STC 60+. Two guards are to be posted at the door of the SCP-1098-1 barracks. All guards are to wear full-ear headphones equipped with active filters designed to scramble human speech. Description: SCP-1098 is a █-syllable word, with a phoneme pattern consistent with origin among modern speakers of American English. It appears to have no effect on non-English speakers. Persons reading or hearing SCP-1098 in context report that is euphonious and somewhat humorous. Exposure to SCP-1098 out of context appears to be safe but this has not been conclusively established. Exposure to SCP-1098 in written or spoken form may lead to infection, with increasing probability for each additional exposure. There is an inverse correlation between the size of an individual's working vocabulary and their susceptibility to infection, but this has not been rigorously quantified. Persons in the earliest phases of infection appear to be the most contagious. Infected individuals (hereafter known as SCP-1098-1) will begin to use SCP-1098 preferentially as a placeholder name (similarly to "whatchamacallit", "thingamajig" or "whatshisname") and respond positively to its use by others. Example usage: "Hey Ray, can you hand me that [REDACTED]? No, not that one, the frickin' [REDACTED] over there." Within 2-3 weeks of exposure, SCP-1098-1 will begin substituting SCP-1098 for other parts of speech with increasing frequency. Initially it is possible to communicate with SCP-1098-1 by inferring the intended meaning of SCP-1098 from context, but soon the prevalence of SCP-1098 in speech becomes so high that only other instances of SCP-1098-1 are able to comprehend it. In the final stages of infection, every utterance of SCP-1098-1 becomes a string of variously-inflected instances of SCP-1098. These effects also appear in written communication. Instances of SCP-1098-1 are generally cooperative, but express distress upon discovering that they cannot be understood. When speaking with other instances of SCP-1098-1, they appear relieved or even elated. Standardized testing confirms that they have no cognitive impairment other than their muddled speech.

SCP-4543 is a phenomenon wherein the bodies of deceased citizens (designated instances of SCP-4543-1) of Quarry Park, Calgary, will reanimate.

*** Item #: SCP-4543 Level 4/4543 Object Class: Euclid Classified A graveyard with unusually high rates of SCP-4543. Special Containment Procedures: Uncontained SCP-4543-1 instances are to be actively searched for and detained. Cemeteries within Quarry Park are to be monitored for unusual activity. MTF-ζ "Public Eye" is to monitor the actions of Seraph Manufacturing externally; internal investigation efforts have been initiated. Civilian entry into Seraph headquarters is to be strictly prevented. Description: SCP-4543 is a phenomenon wherein the bodies of deceased citizens (designated instances of SCP-4543-1) of Quarry Park, Calgary, will reanimate. Upon animation, -1 instances will exit their graves during the day through as-of-yet unobserved means and attempt to sell various animal products door-to-door. At approximately 6-8 p.m., -1 instances re-enter their graves and expire, leaving their graves the next day. Upon animation, SCP-4543-1 instances will target certain houses. The criteria by which -1 instances determine certain houses is unknown, although they are known to avoid their relatives and acquaintances. -1 instances have an 89% success rate in their sales. -1 instances look exactly as they did in life, despite any level of decay pre-animation. After the effects of SCP-4543, -1 instances present with altered personalities; namely, they exhibit narcissistic traits, are more prone to hostility, and are unwaveringly committed to their purpose of selling animal corpses. Addendum 4543-1: An SCP-4543-1 instance was interviewed in containment. The interview has been logged below. INTERVIEW LOG DATE: 02/16/1998 INTERVIEWEE: Paul Gabler (SCP-4543-1 instance) INTERVIEWER: Dr. Westrin [BEGIN LOG] Westrin: Hello, Gabler. I'm here to ask- Gabler: What's the setup here, huh? I'm clean. I got a permit. Westrin: Oh, that's fine. I just need to ask you some questions. Gabler: Not interested. You can't do this. I want to see a lawyer. Westrin: That won't be possible at this time. Now, if you don't mind, why are you selling animal product? Gabler: It's my job. Westrin: Yes, but why taxidermies? Gabler: Junk. The boss doesn't need 'em. Westrin: The boss? (Gabler nods) Westrin: And who would that be? Gabler: Eh. Less of a "who," more of a "what." And don't ask me what, alright? Westrin: Mhm. Well, do you have any idea why people are so interested in your product? Gabler: What's that supposed to mean? Westrin: Well, forgive my ignorance, but I can't imagine the people of Quarry Park would typically be very interested in dead animals. Gabler: Listen here, pal. I'll answer this and nothin' else. Most people want a purpose. A job, if you will. The boss gave me my job. I come 'round, and I give the people their job. They buy things, and the money goes to the boss. I've done my job. The boss doesn't fire me, the people are happy. Most of 'em. Westrin: And of those who decline? Gabler: Junk. The boss doesn't need 'em. [END LOG] Following this interview, the interviewed SCP-4543-1 instance began rapidly decaying, dying shortly after. This event later occurred to all other -1 instances in containment, prompting an investigation into the graves of the -1 instances. Several of these graves yielded identical pamphlets, the contents of which have been logged below. Seraph Oftentimes, people find themselves at a dead-end. Like their time is up, and they can no longer live the life they aspire to. This isn't uncommon, but it can be frustrating to know that you've missed your prime. The days you were meant to be at your best. Well, fear not; Seraph has a spot for you! Here at Seraph, we want to help you do what you're best at. All sorts of talents go into our business. Are you an artsy type? The aesthetic value of our products can't be understated. It's our main draw, after all. Excel in communications? Get out there and start selling! Seraph's customer-salesman relationships are second-to-none. Prefer simple labour? The preparation of our products is no small feat, and we could use your helping hands. With Seraph, you can rest easy knowing that you'll be able to perform the work you were meant to. Following these results, Dr. Westrin proposed an investigation to gather insight into the transactions between -1 instances and their consumers. The following interviews were conducted door-to-door. INTERVIEW LOG DATE: 02/24/1998 INTERVIEWEE: Jacob Hamelin (citizen) INTERVIEWER: Dr. Westrin [BEGIN LOG] Westrin: Hello, sir. Would you mind filling a survey regarding door-to-door sales within Quarry Park? Hamelin: Sure, I guess. Westrin: Thank you. [IRRELEVANT DATA COLLAPSED] Westrin: Do you typically purchase from door-to-door salesmen? Hamelin: Only the Seraph guys. Westrin: Seraph? Hamelin: Yeah. The guys who sell taxidermies. Westrin: Would you- Hamelin: Is that right? Taxidermies? That's where they put things in the animal corpses, right? Westrin: Yes. Would you care to explain why you purchase their products? Hamelin: Well, uh… I don't know, really. My dad bought 'em every time they came around. I asked him why, and he just told me my grand-dad bought 'em. Figured I was supposed to, I guess. Westrin: I see. Hamelin: It's a good thing to do, right? Support the local economy. The arts 'n all. Maybe I don't get it, and it looks kinda funky, but I'm helpin' out. Westrin: Mhm. Thank you for your time. [END LOG] INTERVIEW LOG DATE: 02/24/1998 INTERVIEWEE: Karen Yeung (citizen) INTERVIEWER: Dr. Westrin [BEGIN LOG] Westrin: Hello, madam. Would you mind filling a survey regarding door-to-door sales within Quarry Park? Yeung: …what is this for? Westrin: A government survey. Simply for statistics purposes. Yeung: Okay. [IRRELEVANT DATA COLLAPSED] Westrin: Do you typically purchase from door-to-door salesmen? Yeung: No. Westrin: Alright. Just for the record, have you ever heard of Seraph? Yeung: Oh, right. I never really considered them "salesmen." Westrin: Mhm. Would you care to explain why you purchase their products? Yeung: I mean, it's always good to give to charity, isn't it? Westrin: Pardon? Yeung: Seraph. They are a charity, aren't they? Westrin: Our records do not indicate anything of the sort. Yeung: Well, how accurate are your records? Westrin: We do not possess accurate enough records for a detailed analysis, however- Yeung: Then you should think twice before suggesting bad things about Seraph. They do good work, and I'm proud to support them. Westrin: Understood. Thank you for your time. [END LOG] Addendum 4543-2: Following the survey, an investigation was conducted to determine the nature of Seraph, the results of which indicated that it was a manufacturing company. Available data on Seraph Manufacturing is limited, indicating it was founded approximately 70 years prior under the name "The Seraph Manufacturing Company." Dr. Westrin ordered the investigation of Seraph headquarters, located in central Quarry Park. A team of two agents from MTF-ζ "Public Eye" was sent to investigate. VIDEO LOG DATE: 03/01/1998 NOTE: The following footage and accompanying audio was recorded via Camera A, a disguised camera within the building, and Camera B, a camcorder operated by Agent King. [BEGIN LOG] [CAMERA A] (Agents King and Gagnon enter the building, confronting the secretary at the front desk.) King: Hello. My name is Maria King, and this is my associate, Graham Gagnon. Secretary: Ah, hello. Well, Ms. King, it doesn't appear that either of you have booked any appointments, and we're just about to close. What did you come for? Gagnon: We're here to investigate. Claims of some shady business goin' on around here. Secretary: I… see. Do you have a warrant of some sort? Gagnon: Sure do, pal. (Gagnon sifts through his pocket, pulling out a folded piece of paper.) Gagnon: Right here. Secretary: Okay, uh. This really isn't a good time, we're cleaning up the- King: We won't be causing any trouble, don't worry. (A small portion of the secretary's face flakes off, revealing decayed skin underneath.) Gagnon: Christ. Secretary: I'm terribly sorry, but I can't let you in. King: We will only be an hour or so. It's nothing too serious, really. Secretary: No. I'm sorry, I can't. (The secretary's face disintegrates completely, leaving behind a necrotic layer of flesh. His eyes have vanished entirely.) Gagnon: Hey. Pal. Before we get a little too used to it, what the hell is goin' on with your face? Secretary: Please leave the building. Now. (The secretary's forearm falls through his sleeve.) Secretary: Shit, shit, shit. King: We just- Secretary: Please. Just go. Gagnon: This ain't workin', Mary. (Agents King and Gagnon force their way through an employee-only door. The secretary turns to face them.) Secretary: NO! You can't go inside! Gagnon: Like hell we can't. (The secretary begins to give chase. His head promptly detaches from his neck.) [CAMERA B] King: Are you ready? Gagnon: Always. Now what the hell's goin' on over here? (King turns the camera to a series of operating tables. Entities can be seen gathering animal corpses from crates on their right, removing their hearts, and placing them in crates to their left. King quickly turns the camera left as a manager walks down the stairs. The manager's face is decayed, akin to the secretary's.) King: Hello, sir. We are- Manager: I don't care who you are. Just get to the tables and get workin'. Gagnon: We don't work here. Manager: If the secretary lets you in, you work here. King: …understood. (King motions Gagnon to follow her. The agents find an empty hallway of operating tables and crates.) Gagnon: I don't know what the hell they're doin' here, but I know it's bad news. We gotta stop this. King: I know, Graham. But we can't exactly do anything about it at the moment. Just play along. Manager (offscreen): Hey, you're wastin' tissue. Gagnon: Play along? They're cuttin' open animals and chuckin' 'em in crates! I'm not gonna help them in this weird-ass scheme. King: We're here to gather intelligence, and we can't exactly do that if- (The manager finds the agents.) Manager: Slacking off, huh? You have a job to do. Gagnon: I told you already. We don't work here. Manager: That's what I figured. (A swarm of humanoid creatures enter view, dragging Gagnon out of the hallway.) King: Graham! Gagnon: Jesus Christ, get off of me! Manager: If you can't do your job, then you're wasting our time. We're gonna have to make use of you somehow. (The creatures bring Gagnon to the main operating area, while King follows suit. The creatures throw Gagnon onto a table and restrain him. King draws her gun.) Gagnon: Don't, Mary. (King is silent. The creatures gather assorted surgical tools.) Gagnon: You can't provoke them. You've got to go. King: Graham, I- Gagnon: Now. (King hesitates, before running for the exit. The video feed goes black as a loud grunt is heard.) [END LOG] Examination of goods sold by SCP-4543-1 instances in the following weeks revealed genetic material matching that of Agent Gagnon. Containment protocols have since been updated to forbid civilian access.

SCP-4763 is a disused well in Guilsfield, Wales.

*** Item №: SCP-4763 Anomaly Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: The farmland housing SCP-4763 has been encircled with a chain-link fence and CCTV system. No sapient entities are permitted access. Description: SCP-4763 is a disused well in Guilsfield, Wales. SCP-4763 remains constantly filled to a depth of 10 metres with a viscous black fluid, identified by Foundation metaphysicians as impure liquid pathos. This fluid, when ingested, will trigger a permanent restructuring of local reality, with specifics as outlined in Document 4763-Aeschylus. Due to the nature of pathos, these restructurings are invariably harmful (physically or emotionally) to the subject consuming the fluid. Discovery: SCP-4763 was located following the death of 13 year-old Timothy Driscoll, who drowned in the well alongside his two pet dogs, having fled to the farmland as refuge from his abusive father. Both dogs had gone missing in the months prior, and were reunited with the child only after his death. Timothy's father later drowned while attempting to recover the body before the authorities could investigate, and his mother committed suicide through hanging after hearing of the news — due to the fixture of the noose to a weakened support beam, their family home collapsed moments after her death, killing Timothy's elder brother and three further family pets. Timothy had previously been employed as a paper delivery boy, and his father and brother worked at a family-owned butcher's shop, which was failing due to the opening of a large supermarket in the vicinity. His mother was an amateur novelist; although she had recently received her first successful offer of publication, all manuscripts were lost in the building collapse and ensuing fire. The only item not destroyed during the event was a winning lottery ticket, worth over £2,200,000. Based on financial extrapolations, all family members are estimated to have been two days from potential retirement.

SCP-4892 is a bovine carcass in a state of advanced decomposition, which is host to an incorporeal extradimensional entity capable of exerting significant mental influence over extremely large distances.

*** Item #: SCP-4892 Object Class: Keter Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4892 is to be contained within a secure storage chamber at Site-██ and kept under surveillance by two security personnel at all times. All individuals working with SCP-4892 are to undergo mental resistance therapy before beginning their assignment in order to ensure no adverse mental influence takes place. Tracking of GoI-1999 ("The Order of the Rotten God") and its members is to be handled by the Foundation's Intelligence Agency. Description: SCP-4892 is a bovine carcass in a state of advanced decomposition, which is host to an incorporeal extradimensional entity capable of exerting significant mental influence over extremely large distances. The potential range of SCP-4892's mental influence is currently unknown but is believed to, at minimum, encompass the entirety of the planet. Mental interference from SCP-4892 comes in the form of extremely vivid and disturbing dreams which the victim will experience over an extended period of time, with known durations ranging from one week to six months. Despite the disturbing nature of these dreams, victims of SCP-4892's mental influence will invariably come to see it as a benevolent figure, commonly adopting the view that its current physical host must be destroyed in order to free the extradimensional entity. Although compromised individuals believe that this will then allow said extradimensional entity to recreate the physical world into a more ideal state, it is the belief of Foundation analysts that this could instead become the trigger for an XK-Class end-of-the-world-scenario. The majority of individuals compromised by SCP-4892 have organized into a religious group named 'The Order of the Rotten God', and frequently launch attacks upon the Foundation and other anomalous groups in an effort to locate their deity. Addendum 4892-1 (Retrieved Audio Log): The following is an audio log retrieved from an abandoned Order of the Rotten God recruiting station in New York City on 17/03/2020. The log consists of a conversation between the leader of GoI-1999, Carson Mackenzie, and a new recruit identified as a local occult enthusiast, Daniel Boone. <Begin Log> Carson Mackenzie: Well, I'd like to thank you, son, for coming to see me today. I know that must've taken much courage on your part, what with my community's reputation. Daniel Boone: Um, yes, thank you, sir. I just - Carson Mackenzie: Come now, there's no need to be nervous. (laughs) I'm a fella just like you. I don't bite. Call me Carson - or Mr. Mackenzie, if that'd make you a tad more comfortable. (Pause.) Daniel Boone: Yes. Thank you, Mr. Mackenzie. Carson Mackenzie: See? That wasn't so bad, was it? Let me try and guess why you're here today, Danny boy. (chuckles) You had a dream, right? Daniel Boone: Yes, yes, that's it. One of my cabal friends referred me to you after I mentioned these dreams. I've been having them for, uh, for two weeks now, every night. Real bad ones. (Pause.) Carson Mackenzie: Yes, yes, I can see … you close your eyes in your comfy bed and when you open them, you're in a slaughterhouse. That's right, ain't it? (Pause.) Carson Mackenzie: Danny, you remember the slaughterhouse, don't you? Daniel Boone: That's … that's exactly right. Carson Mackenzie: You remember what it looks like? (Pause.) Carson Mackenzie: Describe it for me. Daniel Boone: Well, it's an - it's an awful place. Full of blood and guts, all over the walls, from all sorts of animals. Carson Mackenzie: Humans, even. Daniel Boone: Yeah, humans too. It's just … the most horrible thing. Carson Mackenzie: And then there's the cow. Daniel Boone: The … the cow? Carson Mackenzie: The one in the center of the slaughterhouse. The one that's been rotting for a while, skull all exposed. Remember? (Pause.) Daniel Boone: …of course. I couldn't ever forget that thing. Just awful. Carson Mackenzie: Well, everyone thinks that the first time they see it, but then you get a better look - and you can see it's actually looking out for you. You know the, ah, the word - benevolent. It's like you're having a big fluffy coat put over you. Daniel Boone: (laughs) Yeah. Felt nice. Carson Mackenzie: I felt the exact same way when it happened to me, son - as did all the members of my community. You felt as if this cow - if it weren't trapped in that rotting old corpse - could do so much good for the world. Right? Daniel Boone: Yeah. I thought that the moment I saw it. Carson Mackenzie: But it's far away. Locked up. (Pause.) Daniel Boone: It's real? Carson Mackenzie: Course it's real, son. The human mind can't make up that kind of thing. Daniel Boone: Do you … do you know where it is? We've gotta get it out of there! Can I help, mister? Please? (Pause.) Carson Mackenzie: Well … I'm sure we can find some use for you, son. <End Log> Additional authentication accepted. Please proceed, Agent.

SCP-4818 is a model site resident.

*** Item#: SCP-4818 Level1 Containment Class: euclid Secondary Class: none Disruption Class: vlam Risk Class: caution link to memo Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4818 is to be kept in a standard humanoid containment unit in the low-security wing of Site 17 with standard privileges and amenities, contingent on its continued cooperation and good behaviour. SCP-4818 is permitted to retain the graphic novel collection it accumulated prior to containment, and is allowed up to twelve active graphic novel subscriptions. In the event that SCP-4818 becomes hostile, it is to be subdued with the use of a four square meter sheet coated in commercially available vantablack paint, modified to be fired from a net launcher, and held within a completely dark containment cell after being searched for any light generating objects. SCP-4818's release may be authorized by Site 17's Head of Anomalous Humanoid Psychology, should their assessment deem the risk of further violence to be minimal. Multiple or severe hostile incidents will result in SCP-4818 being transferred to a more secure facility. SCP-4818 is to be regularly assessed by an attache from Mobile Task Force Alpha-9 "Last Hope", and is permitted to engage in its training assignments in designated areas. Description: SCP-4818 is an adolescent female of mixed European and Middle-Eastern descent. Any photons which make contact with SCP-4818's skin can be induced to form photonic molecules1. SCP-4818 can form and dissolve photonic matter at will, so long as it is exposed to light. Objects composed of this photonic matter possess a crystalline lattice structure and an appearance similar to luminescent faceted gems. The photonic matter SCP-4818 produces does not break, scratch, tear, or deform under stress like regular matter, however it does gradually shed photons until it has entirely dissipated. Physical shocks have been demonstrated to accelerate this deterioration. Photonic constructs typically fade at a rate of 100 lumens per hour, and dissipate completely upon reaching zero lumens. Applying approximately 1000 newtons of force to a photonic construct will also cause it to lose 100 lumens. SCP-4818 is capable of restoring, maintaining, or increasing the luminosity of photonic constructs by maintaining skin contact. At the time of recovery, SCP-4818 was only capable of generating small photonic jewels and figurines, as well as inflexible photonic armour over exposed skin. Selected Interviews: ▶ Selected Interview 4818/Valdez #1:   ▼  Selected Interview 4818/Valdez # 1: Site 17 Initial Interview Interviewer: Researcher Dr. Luna Valdez Interviewee: SCP-4818 <Begin Log> SCP-4818 is curled up in a defensive position in its chair, possibly unconscious. Dr. Valdez gently taps on the interview room's partition. Dr. Valdez: Hello. Excuse me. Are you awake? SCP-4818 looks at Dr. Valdez with apparent hostility, but does not respond. Dr. Valdez: Good. I'm Dr. Luna Valdez, I'm here to do an intake interview. But first, have you been fed yet? You're supposed to be fed before we do these. It makes everything go a lot smoother. SCP-4818 does not respond. Dr. Valdez: Have you had water at least? I can't let you get dehydrated. It doesn't have to be water. I can get you juice, or even hot chocolate, or - SCP-4818: (interrupting) I know what you're doing. Dr. Valdez: I'm sorry? SCP-4818: You have your damn goons tackle me to the ground, tie me up in a sack, haul me off in the back of a van for hours, lock me up in a dark cell, and then you show up all sweet asking if I want hot chocolate? That's how you brainwash prisoners, by having one of their keepers pretend to be nice so they'll start to trust them. Dr. Valdez: They tackled you to the ground? I'm sorry they were rough with you, that was clearly unjustified in your case. I assure you the Task Force that brought you in will at the very least be reprimanded. This is not a prison, and we don't tolerate any abuse from our security staff. Everyone else will treat you the same as I do. SCP-4818's eyes begin to tear up. SCP-4818: (softly) How long are you going to keep me here? Dr. Valdez: Well, most of our residents are here indefinitely, but it does depend on various - SCP-4818: (sobs) What are you going to tell my parents? Dr. Valdez: That depends on the specifics of your circumstances, but the cover story is usually whatever will cause the least suspicion. Most likely, they'll just be led to believe you've gone missing and - SCP-4818 begins crying. Dr. Valdez: Sweetie, please at least drink something. We don't want you getting sick. SCP-4818 does not comply. Dr. Valdez: Do you know why you're here at least? SCP-4818: (nods) Because of my power. Dr. Valdez: We use the term anomalies, but yes. SCP-4818: Anomalies, plural? So, I'm not the only one then? Dr. Valdez: No. As you can probably guess by your ID number, we have thousands of them in containment, and god knows how many there are in the wild. SCP-4818: I thought I might be the only one. And I didn't think you guys were real. Dr. Valdez: Well that's good. It means we're doing our job. Can you tell me about your anomaly? When did it start? SCP-4818: I've always been able to feel the light on my skin. I didn't even know it wasn't something other people couldn't feel. One day when I was eight or nine I just started really focusing on it, trying to hold it there, and it started growing on my arm like a layer of ice. I've been practicing and experimenting since then. Dr. Valdez: Can you show me? SCP-4818 nods. It holds out its palm, and an approximately ten centimeter tall, 400 lumen figurine of the Marvel Comics character Captain Marvel forms over several seconds. Dr. Valdez: That's incredible. SCP-4818: No, it's a sideshow act. I want to do more with it. I want to actually get good enough to use my power effectively, as an actual superhero. Dr. Valdez: I'm not saying you can't use your anomaly, but you need to know we won't tolerate any violence. You got lucky getting assigned to Site 17. This is one of, if not the most comfortable sites for anomalous humanoids in our entire organization. If you don't behave yourself, you're going to end up somewhere a lot less comfortable. No superhero business. Is that understood? SCP-4818 nods tearfully. Dr. Valdez: Good. I can see you're still distraught. I want you to eat some food, drink some fluids, and get some rest, and we'll resume our discussion tomorrow. Maybe even try to fill out some of those forms we gave you in case our background check missed something. Okay? SCP-4818 nods dejectedly. Dr. Valdez: Good girl. I'll see you tomorrow. <End Log> ▶ Selected Interview 4818/Valdez #2:   ▼  Selected Interview 4818/Valdez # 2: 4818/Valdez Interview # 2 Notes: This interview was conducted after SCP-4818 had a panic attack during its first supervised contact with another on-site SCP. <Begin Log> Dr. Valdez: Are you feeling better now? SCP-4818: I guess I'm calmer, but I wouldn't say I'm better. Dr. Valdez: Good. If you're calm, then we can talk. Please, tell me what happened from your perspective. SCP-4818: My perspective? From my perspective, you brought in a trolley with mutated, stillborn fetuses that started talking! Then singing! Why the fuck would you do that? Dr. Valdez: I explained that to you. We don't want to keep you locked up in your room. That's not good for you, and it's not good for us. We want you to be able to go into the common areas and interact with the other residents, but before we can do that you have to meet them one on one so we can rule out any possible effects of exposing you to other anomalies. SCP-4818: But why them? Why on earth would those freaks be the first thing you showed me? Dr. Valdez: Because they're harmless. Dr. Glass did recommend I start off with Mr. Fish, but frankly, I thought 3717 would be less intimidating since they're so small and stuck in jars. SCP-4818 stares at Dr. Valdez in apparent disbelief. SCP-4818: They're horrifying! Dr. Valdez: I told you what they were before I brought them in. SCP-4818: You said they were cute! Dr. Valdez: I said kind of cute. SCP-4818: They're not fucking cute! They're monsters! You said there were people like me here, and that's what you meant? That's what I am to you? Something to be shelved alongside demonic fetuses and fish people? SCP-4818 buries its face in its hands and begins to cry. SCP-4818: (muffled) This is just a place for freaks and monsters, isn't it? I don't want to be here. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be here. Dr. Valdez: Please, sweetie, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression with 3717 but - SCP-4818 screams, withdraws to the corner of the interview chamber and collapses into a fetal position. It does not respond to further questioning. Dr. Valdez: (sighs) I'm sorry. I'm going to make this up to you. I promise. <End Log> Researcher's Notes: I take full responsibility for the disastrous first attempt to integrate SCP-4818 into Site 17's residential community. I chose SCP-3717 because they were low risk, but I neglected to consider the psychological impact they might have on a person unaccustomed to the anomalous. My description of SCP-3717 to SCP-4818 was also arguably too polite to have properly prepared her for them. It seems that prior to containment, SCP-4818 heavily identified with pop cultural depictions of superheroes, and her experiences in containment thus far have been heavily detrimental to that self-image. For this reason, I've chosen SCP-073 as the next Site 17 resident to meet SCP-4818. I'm confident she'll have a better opinion of him. ~ Dr. Luna Valdez ▶ Selected Interview 4818/Valdez #3:   ▼  Selected Interview 4818/Valdez # 3: 4818/Valdez Interview # 3 Notes: This interview was conducted shortly after SCP-4818's supervised meeting with SCP-073. <Begin Log> SCP-4818: Hi. Dr. Valdez: Hello! You're looking better. SCP-4818: I'm feeling better. Dr. Valdez: Your meeting with 073 went well then? SCP-4818: Yeah (smiles). He was awesome. He let me try to hit him. Every single blow just came right back at me. Dr. Valdez: You didn't hurt yourself, did you? SCP-4818: No, it's cool. And his bionic arms, he can move them just like real ones! How is that possible? Dr. Valdez: If we knew that, they wouldn't be anomalous. SCP-4818: He says they don't even need upkeep. They're as invincible as the rest of him. Dr. Valdez: They'd have to be, otherwise he'd have worn them out long ago. SCP-4818: You believe him then? That he's as old as he says he is, that he's lived through reality changing events with his memory intact? Dr. Valdez: The consensus among the researchers is that he's trustworthy. But I already know all I need to know about him. Tell me, do you view yourself as more like him than the SCPs from your previous introduction? SCP-4818: I… I wish. I collapsed into a ball because of something that looked like a cheap Halloween decoration. Cain's fought actual demons. Dr. Valdez: Remember that 073 is indestructible. It's easy for him to be brave. You're a young woman who's been taken away from everything she's ever known, and I shoved three deformed homunculi in your face. I'm sorry I did that. SCP-4818: No, it's cool. They were harmless, so it was probably a better idea than putting me in the same room with an invincible, ancient cyborg. Dr. Valdez: There's that, and the fact that his anomaly actually affects his environment. Did he mention that at all? SCP-4818: He did. He told me he hasn't held a plant in thousands of years without it disintegrating. I thought that was kind of sad, so I made him a flower with my light. He's a little hard to read, but I think he liked it. Dr. Valdez: That was very kind of you. I'm glad you got along so well. SCP-4818: Yeah, I never thought I'd ever meet someone as cool as that. I'm glad that at least some of the anomalies here are more… super, I guess. Dr. Valdez: Well, if you can cooperate and get through the rest of the supervised introductions without incident, then you'll be able to go into the common areas and speak with him some more. I'm sure he has lots more stories that you'd love to hear. SCP-4818: (nods) I'd like that. Dr. Valdez: Wonderful! You know, I've been thinking about what you said during our first interview. About wanting to make better use of your anomaly. We do have a program here that's meant to utilize anomalous humanoids like 076, er, three. Like you. I can't promise anything, but if you were interested, I could recommend you to them. They'd evaluate you, train you, and maybe even deploy you one day. SCP-4818: You, you mean I could actually be a, a - Dr. Valdez: An agent, for us. What do you say? SCP-4818: (quietly) Yes. Dr. Valez: Great! We'll push through the rest of the introductions as quickly as we can, and you'll be hearing more of Cain's old yarns in no time. Just remember you have to be polite to the Fuller kids too. SCP-4818: I'll be good. I promise. Dr. Valez: I wouldn't expect anything less from a superhero. <End Log> ▶ Selected Interview 4818/Alpha-9:   ACCESS DENIED. LEVEL 4 CLEARANCE IS REQUIRED TO ACCESS THIS FILE. Lead Researcher's Update: SCP-4818's enrollment in Alpha-9 has notably improved her morale and loyalty to the Foundation. Her skills with her own anomalous abilities have also been greatly enhanced by the training she's received. She can now generate filaments of photonic matter and weave them into flexible clothing, as well as extend photonic matter generated on exposed skin over clothed areas. She has successfully created statues of photonic matter nearly two meters tall and ten thousand lumens in luminosity. For combat training, she most frequently generates swords, whips, shields, and throwing stars. She aspires to create more complex constructs, and hopes to one day create photonic machines. Alpha-9's commander tells me that they are also testing to see if she can learn to focus light into laser beams or re-release it at ionizing frequencies, but nothing has come of this so far. Outside of her Alpha-9 activities, SCP-4818 is a model site resident. She has never used her newly developed skills to harm staff or residents, is extremely cordial and often volunteers to assist others in any way she can. Overall, her presence has greatly brightened up the site, both literally and figuratively. ~ Researcher Luna Valdez Addendum: SCP-4818 has demonstrated the ability to produce a pair of photonic wings, which computer simulations indicate are capable of sustaining powered flight. It has requested that it be allowed to test these under safe conditions, and receive flight training should they prove effective. Permission from Alpha-9 commander is pending. Footnotes 1. A phenomenon wherein photons can be bonded together and exhibit behaviour similar to regular matter, despite not possessing any mass

SCP-2137 is a single compact disc copy of "Me Against The World," a hip-hop album by the artist Tupac Shakur, released in 1995.

*** Item #: SCP-2137 Object Class: Euclid Keter Thaumiel Special Containment Procedures: When not being used, SCP-2137 is to be kept within a typical electronic 10-digit metal safe in the Safe Wing of Site 23. All digital and wireless broadcast media must be kept at least one hundred meters away from SCP-2137. Due to SCP-2137's anomalous effect having been determined to have no ranged limit, digital, wireless and broadcast media may be used but should be monitored closely for any appearance of SCP-2137-1 or -2. Other than the testing and recording of Track 7, SCP-2137 should be considered an inanimate item without agency of its own, and any demands or threats made by SCP-2137-2 should be ignored. Once a week, 2137 is to be cleaned and all tracks are to be played in succession, with special attention paid to the instance of 2137-1 that replaces track 7. The names, situations and anecdotes presented in that instance of SCP-2137-1 must then be reported to 2137 Special Committee ("Pac Watch"). On the rare occasion that non-Foundation organizations cannot address the situation presented in an instance of SCP-2137-1, O5-9 has given authorization to activate MTF-339 ("The Suge Knights") to take any and all measures necessary to reach a resolution to the problem. Operational success will be indicated by a new instance of 2137-1. Personnel who wish to examine or attempt to interact with SCP-2137 must ask Dr. Kivowitz for authorization beforehand, which will then pend O5 clearance. Description: SCP-2137 is a single compact disc copy of "Me Against The World," a hip-hop album by the artist Tupac Shakur, released in 1995. Physical examination as well as laser testing indicates that the CD was one of the initial release, manufactured and distributed in 1995; conventional testing of the disk itself reveals identical results to a non-anomalous copy of the album. The case and liner notes have been determined to have no anomalous qualities, and the physical makeup and encoding of the disk appear completely normal. However, upon playing track 7, normally "Heavy In The Game," the listener will encounter an instance of SCP-2137-1. The anomaly takes the form of spontaneously-generated, professionally-produced songs featuring Tupac Shakur in various styles within the hip hop genre. Though each instance of SCP-2137-1 generated is unique, they share certain commonalities in terms of subject matter. The central focus of the song invariably addresses a crime, almost always a murder or series of murders, and then gives necessary anecdotal evidence or information to correctly identify and prosecute the killer, even going so far as to specify prosecutors or recommend vigilante justice. Though generation of SCP-2137-1 has been determined to have a definite causal nature, the manner in which SCP-2137-1 instances are copied onto SCP-2137 has yet to be ascertained. SCP-2137-2 The primary voice on the songs, from herein identified as SCP-2137-2, matches cleanly through advanced audio analysis to that of the real Tupac Shakur, who died in 1996, over a year before the recovery of SCP-2137. However, occasionally, on crimes of a particularly complicated or brutal nature, SCP-2137-2 will be joined by other "performers," either guest-rapping or singing the chorus or bridge. This has included many of Tupac's contemporaries, such as Snoop Doggy Dogg, Nas, No Doubt, Everclear, Weezer and Busta Rhymes, as well as artists from the 2000s including Chris Brown, Katy Perry, Lil Wayne, Lady Gaga, Rihanna, the Ying Yang Twins, Drake, Neon Trees, Jet, Jay-Z, Kanye West, and Eminem, usually at the height of their popularity. On a few notable occasions involving long-unsolved crimes by still active criminals, there have been guests of a more blatantly anachronistic nature, stand-outs among whom include Phil Harris, the Andrews Sisters, Frank Sinatra, Buddy Holly, The Who, Elvis Presley, Diana Ross, and The Beatles. Heavily anachronistic guests tend to take the role of primary artist, the song performed in their style, with SCP-2137-2 joining as a rap guest. When contacted, none of these artists had any recollection of recording for, or information regarding, SCP-2137. The crimes themselves share that they are unsolved, or, in some cases, have escaped detection entirely. The majority of instances of SCP-2137-1 address crimes of private citizens such as serial killers, spree-murders, or career criminals, though occasionally the songs will address larger groups, such as Hamas, ISIS, the IRA, and even in two separate instances the Chaos Insurgency and the Church of the Broken God. A prototypical example of SCP-2137-1 is included here for reference. + Excerpt from SCP-2137-1-542 - Hide Jeff Riegert out there and still stalkin the night, Killed his brother and five strangers with the same damn knife, Now it's not my place to tell you what to do, But I know what I would do if I were you He hid the blade in an old barn off the North 111 He already killed six don't make it seven When the crimes have been addressed and the guilty parties brought to light, either by the legal system or otherwise, SCP-2137-1 is immediately replaced by a new instance. However, the track is easily recorded through conventional means, recorded versions are not subject to change or replacement, and the original can be replayed from the CD endlessly before the killer is found, with no little variation. There are currently nearly one thousand instances of SCP-2137-1 on record. + Initial Recovery Log - Hide SCP-2137 was recovered in the home of Avon Lincoln, arrested for the vigilante slaying of Michael Ferris, who was later revealed to have been the Ojai Strangler, responsible for six murders over the summer of 1996. Avon's insistence that Tupac Shakur spoke to him from beyond the grave and told him he had to take justice into his own hands, because Ferris' position as District Attorney would prevent a fair trial, drew the attention of Foundation agents after the song in question was produced as evidence in court. Amnestics were administered to all involved, and Lincoln was released back into the general population. Addendum 1a: The XK Incident: Initially, researchers experimented with anonymously tipping off local police departments through Foundation plants, which led to the resolution of over ███ cold cases, including the recovery of SCP-██, SCP-████, and SCP-617, though no direct link has been established other than the murders involved. However, after █ years this use of the SCP was deemed impractical; repeatedly addressing the crimes discussed in 2137's "music" was, in practice, allowing the SCP to dictate the circumstances of its containment, and under the wrong circumstances, opened the Foundation to potential exposure through continuous interaction with law enforcement at all levels across multiple governments. In response to this, O5-9 ceased addressing the crimes in late 20██. After two months passed, SCP-2137's behavior radically changed, when, for the first time, an instance of SCP-2137-1 was produced that revealed SCP-2137-2 had an awareness of its containment. + Excerpt from SCP-2137-1-851 - Hide You say you're about security but you ain't the good guys, You redact and expunge man your silence is lies You say you're here to protect yet you're letting killers run free Don't make me show you how rough this south law can be You couldn't stop the beat so don't you start this struggle You better watch your tone unless you're looking for trouble Maybe y'all should lay back and let me do my duty, Locked in drawer feelin like y'all tryna screw me, You're steppin all up on my destiny You might not believe I'm the real Pac But I'm not just a CD The decision was made to halt testing entirely, rather than acquiesce. After one week passed, an instance of SCP-2137-1 appeared spontaneously on the YouTube channel of Los Angeles-based hip hop station [DATA EXPUNGED], and in the lone hour before it was taken down accrued over █████ views. "XK Scenario" Incident The image displayed on the video was a still photograph, apparently authentic though by its nature highly anomalous. The photograph is of Shakur, estimated to be in his early forties,1 wearing the garb of Foundation D-Class Personnel, with his middle fingers raised. The accompanying song, titled "███ █████," focused on SCP-███, revealing its actual location and means by which it could be broken free of current containment procedures, and identified several members of the O5 Council by their first names as it described the function and nature of the Foundation. In a massive sweeping operation involving the activation of multiple task forces across █ continents all trace of the video was erased, and all █████ viewers were administered Class-A Amnestics. Midway through this operation, an entire album titled "XK Scenario" was released to the iTunes account of Beyonce Knowles. Each song featured SCP-2137-2, as well as a variety of guest artists, and focused on a different Keter class SCP currently in captivity. Though SCP tracking bots were able to bring "XK Scenario" down after only ███ downloads, complete digital eradication of the individual files has proven difficult. Though no loss of life or property was incurred, the sheer scale of the danger posed by this containment breach prompted a Foundation-wide state of high alert. This prompted an ongoing upgrade to all automatic SCP firewalls, and engendered the reclassification of SCP-2137 from Euclid to Keter. The breach sparked heated debate as to how to proceed with the containment of (and conceptual understanding regarding) SCP-2137, which came to an end upon the appearance of a new instance of SCP-2137-1. This instance was produced spontaneously through the mouth of SCP-███, which appeared to fall into a trance state during the incident, with the lyrics, in totality, repeatedly written in what was identified as [DATA EXPUNGED] one hundred and seventeen thousand (117,000) times all over the interior of its containment chamber. + Excerpt from SCP-2137-1-564 - Hide Help me find my killers, and I'll find yours Tryin’ not to play the CD, you’re startin’ a war You don’t really wanna see me in flesh I wouldn’t hesitate to put you little nerds to rest So feel my power What if i told you that ████ ████ planned it all What if the world knew that ███ ████ █ ███ bout to fall? Don’t try to play me cuz you need me inside It was the reason ██████ ████████ had died ██████ ████████ I would never let her ████████ █████ was set up ████████ self████ to keep his head up █████ █████ 19, and █████ ███ Is not what it seems I may be rare and i can’t be touched And if you think about a plan imma fuck shit up You try to hide but i see it all And now i’m coming for your head like a tylenol You don’t wanna fall Dressed in black like you can’t be seen I fight alone i don’t need no team So do your job cus i’m giving you tips And put that whole CD in the Mix, Biatch The decision was made to resume the former method of testing, involving the embedded informants used to relay SCP-2137's evidence and information, while continuing to study the method by which SCP-2137 transmits its broadcasts, in an effort to truly contain it completely. SCP-2137-2 resumed its previous behavioral pattern, SCP-2137-1s focusing on crimes until their killers are located by conventional law enforcement, with the exception of one final track — at this time, its last recorded direct interaction with the Foundation. + Excerpt from SCP-2137-1-565 - Hide I guess it took time for it to sink in I’m just glad you understood what i was thinkin’ I just knew you’d come around so you see it now Ain’t no need to get upset or even throw down You know i got the crown I see it’s hard to get some sleep at night You got a head full of greys and your skin ain’t tight So lets be real ain't no need to fight it There’s a grander design i bet your gonna like it It’s black and white so don’t get caught up in the deep thoughts You got my music on the side with a greater force Investigation into any kind of link or pattern between the crimes SCP-2137 solves is ongoing, as is interest to why it doesn't use its agency to pursue the criminals in question rather than working through proxies. + MEMORANDUM - Hide Memorandum EMAIL FROM SITE-515 DIRECTOR DR. GWEN PRISTINE TO: O5 Council RE: Regarding Tupac This will be the fifth time I have written to propose an update to SCP-2137. When they enter our program here at Site-515, researchers, engineers, MTF Troops, and even D-Class all walk in the door having read the official documentation, and believe the Foundation has been essentially blackmailed into cooperation with a devious SCP. But everyone who actually works here knows this is no longer the case. In the nearly 3 decades since its containment, the Foundation’s collaboration with SCP-2137 has led to recovery of dozens of SCPs. Our mobile task forces have deposed dictators and toppled tyrants, chased down rogue reality benders from Three Portlands to Lamplight, this of course, all adjacent to the arrest or end of nearly 30,000 murderers. To add some perspective here: a serial killer hasn’t made it past their third victim, anywhere on Earth, in fourteen years. SCP-2137 has produced over 40,000 individual and unique pieces of music … function at Site-515 has become effectively frictionless. First it was just the Suge Knights. But as we became more effective at addressing SCP-2137’s instruction, another MTF joined, then an Elite Division. Which brings us up to the present, where the five mobile task forces under my command are in constant action against forces all over planet Earth and beyond, all under the guidance of detailed strategy provided by the mysterious music from a compact disc that the Foundation has failed to adequately contain. A silent, undocumented understanding has grown among us. The SCP does not simply “catch” murderers. It directly and aggressively searches out anything that maliciously takes a human life. The amount of lives saved and untold disasters that have been prevented through the information 2137 supplies are at this point stupefying to contemplate, much less that it has been able to essentially bully us into a pattern of unilaterally heroic expenditures of Foundation resources. It’s little wonder that we show the highest numbers globally in Foundation morale tests. It makes sense of course; here at Site-515, “The SCP Foundation” is a fast action team of gun-slinging heroes, smashing cults, blowing away terrorists, and catching murderers and monsters in our spare time as we blast rap music out of landing attack hovercraft, or working behind the scenes, turning local cops into super sleuths and vigilantes into heroes. But this period, as productive as it’s been, has been intellectually stagnant. Throughout all of this, the motives and origin of 2137 remain a mystery, defying every search for a pattern, every algorithm-driven analysis. The research wing of the site has become a ghost town, as the MTF response barracks has grown to dominate everything, and perhaps rightfully so. But a few young researchers have diligently continued a hunt for meaning, for greater truth behind SCP-2137-1. An unexpected advance in this area is behind the urgency in my message to you today. It had long been understood that the life of the actual Tupac Shakur held little information or relevance towards the mystery of SCP-2137’s existence. This has potentially changed. Researcher Marija Cozlvich recently came across an unreleased interview with Shakur from 1994, two years before his death and three before the discovery of SCP-2137. The interview was buried by his managers because there was anxiety about Shakur’s mental state in the footage, because he was speaking what they called “nonsense.” I think you will agree that while Mr. Shakur may not be speaking clearly, what he actually says is very possibly of vital interest to the Foundation, and very definitely not nonsense. I feel we may finally have, if not an answer, the beginnings of one. But I can say with certainty that in my entire time at the Foundation, I’ve never personally felt this excited. So I start my proposal here: a Keter-class object actively interested in aiding the human race is not a Keter-class object at all. I am officially re-submitting my proposal for SCP-2137 to at long last be redesignated Thaumiel-class object and for a quadrupling of our research team and site resource allocation. We must tug this thread and see where it leads us. Perhaps after hearing the audio attached, you might finally agree. DR. GWEN PRISTINE - Site director, Site 515 DOCUMENT - RECOVERED FOOTAGE 1L: TUPAC SHAKUR, dressed casually, sits on a large red couch, smoking a marijuana cigarette, hunched forward and visibly heavily intoxicated, with drooping eyes and slightly slurred speech. He seems happy and jovial, and laughs often through the interview despite repeatedly becoming distracted by the presence of his entourage dancing and talking in the room. His director and videographer Gobi Rahimi, sits nearby, and VH1 interviewer MILA VENDI, also visibly intoxicated, sits nearby. The relevant portion begins 00:09:14 into the interview. SHAKUR: People ask me where I get my inspiration from. They say how do you go so hard, put in that much work. But what they don’t understand is: This is me taking a break. This is me on vacation. I think some people would say that was irresponsible, to just sit back and be human for a while, be an artist, experience that. I can’t be chasing the king all the time. I feel like I’ve been doing that forever, to protect you, all of you. He’s not so big. And you’re not so small. But he’s gotta trick you like it doesn’t matter because that’s the only way he can keep it looking like he’s the man, like he’s some big bad evil…motherfucker. You don’t see that when I die, I’ll live on. My death is my destiny, and then I become something else…what I was before. The voice will still shout, and it’ll shout justice, in poetry, and art, and music! I got you. I got you, humanity. When I eventually go toe to toe and brawl with this fool, he’s gonna gather up his little red dress and go home crying like a bitch, and he knows it. Evil knows its days are numbered. So the king’s still running. The chase isn’t over. Prepare. Prepare. “Prepare.” Footnotes 1. At the time of his murder in 1996, Shakur was twenty-five years old.

SCP-6313 is a collection of dried thyme leaves.

*** Item #: SCP-6313 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: All Site-88 employees are to be briefed on SCP-6313's anomalous properties. Knowledge of SCP-6313's current location is to be limited to whichever individual currently possesses it. Site-88 staff are directed to deny requests for information relating to SCP-6313's current owner or location. Under no circumstances is this information to be speculated on. Once every six months, a site-wide announcement will be made to assist in the determination of SCP-6313's current status. If it is determined with any level of certainty that SCP-6313 is no longer in the possession of the SCP Foundation, this documentation is to be updated, and the SCP-6313 project head is to be alerted. Description: SCP-6313 is a collection of dried thyme leaves. SCP-6313's current location and velocity cannot be simultaneously known by more than one individual (known as SCP-6313-1 in this document). Due to difficulties in acquiring SCP-6313 for research, the exact mechanism by which this anomaly affects both SCP-6313 and SCP-6313-1 is not fully understood. It is theorized, however, that SCP-6313 possesses macroscopic qualities similar to those possessed by quantum particles. Once two or more individuals learn either the location or velocity of SCP-6313, the object will no longer be found at its last known location. Video records of displacement events have shown it to disapparate from previously known locations instantaneously. SCP-6313 is generally found afterwards by another individual. Records of previous translocation events indicate that SCP-6313 will not appear more than a certain distance1 from the individual possessing knowledge of its location. The following log displays previously known holders of SCP-6313, and the events which triggered the relocation of the object. There is a 13 month gap in knowledge between Mrs. Dobson's loss of the object and Dr. Foster acquiring the object. Previous Owner Occupation Log of Events Mark Reinhart Civilian chef in Bay Minnette Attempted to introduce SCP-6313 to a dish he was preparing. Once it was removed from its packaging it disapparated in the presence of the kitchen staff. Phyllis Dobson Mid-level Executive, Southern Crosscut Pines2 Discovered SCP-6313 in her purse once she arrived home. It disapparated once she attempted to alert her husband to its presence. Both reported the incident to the SCP Foundation. Dr. Phillip Foster SCP Foundation, Senior Researcher Found SCP-6313 in his glove box when arriving for work at Site-88. Since understanding of SCP-6313 was low at the time, he attempted to bring the object to the Site's research head, but it disapparated upon presentation. Kay June SCP Foundation, Janitorial Staff As Ms. June was unaware of SCP-6313's anomalous properties, it was used to decorate and alter the fragrance of a janitorial closet. It was in this location for approximately 34 months. Ms. June was then transferred to Site-43. SCP-6313 was discovered by her replacement, causing the object to disapparate. Dr. Lillian Una SCP Foundation, SCP-2343 containment supervisor Dr. Una was one of the few SCP Staff members to be fully briefed on the potential relocation of SCP-6313. She possessed SCP-6313 for approximately 17 days before the object was intentionally disapparated under the current containment procedures. In August of 2021, a site-wide announcement was made in order to determine the containment status of SCP-6313. At this time, no Foundation staff have come forward with information relating to SCP-6313. It is believed that containment still holds, but is poorly suited to evaluation of its own success or failure. The following announcement should be repeated once weekly until SCP-6313's status is determined. This is an announcement relating to SCP-6313. Anyone who has the thyme should immediately proceed to observation room C for debriefing. A redesign of SCP-6313's containment procedures is currently underway. Footnotes 1. Due to potential variability relating to exact knowledge of this distance, that information has been removed from this document. 2. A Foundation front company.

SCP-1637 is a factory / laboratory complex constructed 50-100m below the surface of the Sahara desert, in an isolated portion of Jebil National Park, Tunisia.

*** Item #: SCP-1637 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: Due to the isolated, immobile, and subterranean nature of SCP-1637, Area-28 has been built at surface level to facilitate containment efforts. Exploration of SCP-1637 is currently prohibited. Area-28 must maintain a full-strength company (225+ personnel) with organic force application. Light armor vehicles and air elements tasked in direct support are to be maintained on-site. Satellite photographs of Jebil National Park are to be altered to remove the presence of Area-28 and SCP-1637. Standard amnestic protocol applies for all civilians attempting unauthorized access of Area-28. Instances of SCP-1637-1 or SCP-1637-2 attempting to breach containment are to be incapacitated and captured if possible. Specimens must be retained for study under humanoid containment protocol HCP-01 (Normal Capacity) and HCP-04 (Über Mensch) respectively. Deadly force is only authorized as a last resort to prevent loss of life. Instances of SCP-1637-3 are to be engaged with deadly force until they have either been terminated or retreat back to SCP-1637. No pursuit into SCP-1637 is authorized at this time, pending O5 review of Incident 1637-13. Terminated instances of SCP-1637-3 must be remanded to on-site medical personnel for autopsy. Description: SCP-1637 is a factory / laboratory complex constructed 50-100 m below the surface of the Sahara desert, in an isolated portion of Jebil National Park, Tunisia. SCP-1637 is located at coordinates ██º █’ ██”N by ██º ██’ ██” E. Records recovered from the administrative section of Sub-Level 1 seem to suggest the facility was constructed in 1965, commissioned by the ██████’█ ████████ ██ █████ for military research and manufacturing. Foundation assets in the ███ are unable to find corroborating documentation in ███████ records. The site was abandoned in 1972 following multiple containment failures of anomalously produced and enhanced humanoids. The facility itself spans approximately 4 km2, and is constructed primarily of the surrounding bedrock and other non-anomalous utility material. The complex includes dormitories, cafeterias, recreation areas, hydroponic growing facilities, power generators, water treatment facilities, and significant expanses of industrial machinery and medical equipment. Several additional surface access points were destroyed deliberately by cave in, possibly during SCP-1637’s original abandonment. Larger chambers dedicated to the production or testing of SCP-1637-1, SCP-1637-2, and SCP-1637-3 have been lined with an as yet unidentified grey metal which is highly resistant to damage and corrosion. Attempts to harvest samples for analysis have thus far been unsuccessful. Computational, surveillance, and engineering equipment recovered from SCP-1637 all display technological sophistication rivaling that of modern (post-2010) analogues, although some design differences in hardware architecture and organization have been noted. At irregular intervals, SCP-1637 will create and release a variable number of SCP-1637-1, SCP-1637-2, and SCP-1637-3. These entities will immediately begin combat maneuvers against present Foundation personnel, whether within or outside the main installation. Organizational and combat abilities vary between instances and designations. SCP-1637-1 refers to any humanoid entities originating from SCP-1637 that most closely resemble modern humans. Entities are 1.8 m tall and of muscular build. All instances of SCP-1637-1 are genetically identical copies of General ███ ███, although approximately 13% of those observed have exhibited some visible congenital defect. Deformities range from missing/club limbs, cleft palate/lip, abnormal hair patterns, and cyclocephaly1. How SCP-1637-1 instances are able to survive with these debilitating deformities is unknown. Instances display sentience, knowledge of firearms operation, ability to follow spoken commands and communicate verbally in ███████ ███████. These entities are not sapient, and will self-terminate by starvation unless ordered to eat. SCP-1637-2 designates those instances of SCP-1637-1 which have been modified with cybernetic components. Common augmentations include: Additional cameras/lenses for low-light or thermal vision Robotic exoskeletons Incendiary weapons Arm-mounted automatic rifles Circular saws, chainsaws, or long fixed blades Electronic components grafted into the skull for unknown purpose Loudspeakers or radios grafted to the throat SCP-1637-2 instances demonstrate sapience, and have the ability to coordinate SCP-1637-1 movements and activities via verbal and gestural commands. The modifications made to SCP-1637-2 are not attached in such a way that neural interface is feasible. Due to their unwieldy and poorly constructed nature, components have been known to disengage from SCP-1637-2 with very little force applied. In about half of observed cases, these components will still operate autonomously until their originating instance of SCP-1637-2 is terminated. Designation SCP-1637-3 has been assigned to instances of SCP-1637-1 which have undergone such extreme modification that their biological systems are not readily visible. These entities are broken down into three sub-designations. SCP-1637-3A: A humanoid torso shape mounted on dual-tread chassis, 2.5 m tall x 1.5 m wide x 3 m long. Two banks of 6 unidentified RPG launchers each have been mounted in the position of the torso's arms, and a single 155 mm cannon mounted over the left shoulder. Ammunition does not appear to be limited. The torso and head of the originating SCP-1637-1 instance remains intact within an armored exoskeleton. SCP-1637-3B: A 2 m x 2 m x 2 m six wheeled omnidirectional chassis with minimal armor and one 20 mm rotary autocannon on an omnidirectional mount. Ammunition does not appear to be limited. An adult human brain suspended in a translucent green oxygenated protein/glucose soup has been attached to the targeting and locomotion systems of the main body via cables of variegated design. No two instances have been connected in precisely the same manner. SCP-1637-3C: Spherical automaton 1.5 m in diameter with no visible seams, capable of levitation through unknown means. 24 distinct limbs containing various weapons, tools, and manipulation appendages have been observed emerging from the main chassis during operation. The collective volume and mass of all component parts of an SCP-1637-3C instance is approximately 5x the mass and volume of an assembled unit. A fetal instance of SCP-1637-1 suspended in a liquid nitrogen solution at the center of the instance serves as the control unit for each instance of SCP-1637-3C. This is connected to the rest of the unit via 24 gold electrodes grafted to the fetus’s spinal column. Based on analysis of SCP-1637-3’s interactions with SCP-1637-1 and SCP-1637-2, it is hypothesized that SCP-1637-3C instances possess the highest functional intelligence of all other designations and serves as central command when present. Document 1637-C-BR: Below is a partial transcription of a brochure recovered from a client receiving area in Sub-level 1. Prometheus Labs Defensive Products War is changing. Change with it. est. 1965 Infantry Unit Mark I: The back-bone of any Military Force is, and always will be, man-power. The Infantry Unit Mark I will fulfill that need without putting strain on your local population. Simply provide a DNA sample from the person of your choice, and our patented bio-replication technology will create for you literally thousands of strong, obedient footmen to fill out the ranks of your armed forces. Unit Mark I will never disobey an order or defect from a mission, no matter what the risk. Guaranteed to last at least 2 years with proper care*. $1.2 million USD / 1000 units Infantry Unit Mark II: For situations where not only heavy ordnance, but intimidation and psychological warfare is desirable, the Infantry Unit Mark II is a formidable option. The core unit is the same as our Mark I model, but includes various made-to order augmentations. Night vision, terrain clearing, speed enhancements, on-board weapons systems, and command units are available, just to name a few. Starting at $1.75 million USD / 1000 units Intelligent Heavy Armored Vehicle: Durable enough to provide a viable Main Battle Tank option, the IHAV is excellent for use against light, mechanized, and armored targets. Each unit is operated by a singular consciousness; no more lapses in communication; no more breaks in reloading procedure. Small and agile means they’re harder to hit; our folded space ammunition technology means that the IHAV unit has the staying power needed to finish even the most demanding missions. $599,000 USD Each High Mobility Reconnaissance Vehicle: This unit is designed with rapid movement and intelligence in mind. Long range visual sensors, high functional intelligence, and a maximum speed of 70 km/h over terrain that would bring traditional armored vehicles to a halt, the HMRV unit can transmit visual and terrain data back to your position over 500 km away. The 20 mm rotary autocannon is capable of incapacitating or destroying infantry units and most light to medium armored vehicles as well. $799,000 USD Each Optimal Remote Battalion Commander: Our most advanced weapon system, the ORBCOM is a hyper intelligent command unit capable of managing your entire arsenal of Prometheus Defense products. It can traverse any terrain, needs no sleep, no fuel, no ammunition, and is capable of interpreting and implementing even the most complicated and extensive of battle plans. On-board systems for defense, administration, communication, reconnaissance, and repair will turn your Prometheus Arsenal into a complete, self-sustaining military branch. $2.5 million USD Each Document 1637-AD-TM: The following tele-memos (a proprietary analogue of e-mail) were recovered from the administrative offices of Sub-level 1. 28/01/1972 @ 0938 From: Youssef █████ To: Rami ███████ Subject: PICK TWO The units can’t hold up to this regimen of training, and neither can the equipment making them. Not only will we miss the order deadline, but we may never put another off the line unless corporate is willing to ease up on the demand. Someone tell those damn █████: Faster, Better, Cheaper. Pick Two! 28/01/1972 @ 1024 From: Rami ███████ To: Youssef █████ Subject: Re: PICK TWO Do not talk that way about clients in official communications, Youssef. All of this is centrally recorded. Regarding your concerns, I’m inclined to agree at least in part. But considering the alternative to supplying ‘conventional’ weaponry for a ground war in the ██████… I’m not going to lose sleep over a few blown breakers and a half-dozen corpses. No one wants to live in a radioactive wasteland, do they? 21/02/1972 @ 1354 From: Youssef █████ To: Rami ███████ Subject: Re: PICK TWO I DON’T BELIEVE IT. When, exactly, were they going to inform us? ███ must have been planning this for a damn year! It’s not as though █████ just phoned him up last night on a whim! “Oh hey! I was just in the neighborhood and thought I’d drop by for the most pivotal moment in foreign policy history! How’s tomorrow sound for you??” So now we’re all out in the cold sitting on more than half a million super-weapons and we have to just eat the check? No more, Rami. I’m finished. My resignation is in. I’m leaving tonight and you should come with me. If you don’t… Well, I’ve warned you. God be with you. 21/02/1972 @ 1605 From: Rami ███████ To: Youssef █████ Subject: Re: PICK TWO God have mercy, Youssef! I only just saw this! Tell me you are still here! What have you done?! Footnotes 1. A normally fatal congenital defect resulting in the formation of a single large eye in the center of the forehead.

SCP-4952 is a recurring event associated with the exit of a decommissioned motor-vehicle tunnel, a nearby sinkhole, and the section of road connecting the aforementioned points, located in Frost National Park, Massachusetts.

*** SCP-4952 Tales Hub » Series Archive » Cack Hub » SCP-4952 rating: +47+–x Threat Level: Green Special Containment Procedures: The land surrounding SCP-4952 has been purchased by the Foundation from the United States government. Due to the nature of SCP-4952, no further containment measures are necessary beyond standard anti-trespassing measures. Description: SCP-4952 is a recurring event associated with the exit of a decommissioned motor-vehicle tunnel, a nearby sinkhole, and the section of road connecting the aforementioned points, located in Frost National Park, Massachusetts. SCP-4952 involves the following components: SCP-4952-1 is a 1963 Chrysler 300, painted a light blue. SCP-4952-2 is a human male resembling American poet Robert Frost as he appeared circa. 1910. SCP-4952-2 is seated in the driver's seat. SCP-4952-3 are three corpses identical to SCP-4952-2 in appearance. SCP-4952-3 are seated in the back seats, secured with seat belts. In approximately 0.8% of recorded cases, a single instance of SCP-4952-3 is replaced with SCP-4952-4, a corpse resembling American musician Mal Blum as they appeared circa. 2015. In addition to SCP-4952-2 through -4, SCP-4952-1 almost always1 contains three two-liter canisters of kerosene, five neutralized instances of SCP-4065-1, an assortment of electrical wiring equipment, four to seventeen photographs of various North American musicians or poets2, several firearms, three briefcases containing approximately 15 million units of an unidentified currency3, and a single suitcase filled with damaged electronics of unknown make and function. A variety of miscellaneous office supplies may also be present between iterations. During an iteration of SCP-4952, SCP-4952-1 will emerge from the tunnel at approximately 110 km/h, striking the last and second-to-last iterations of SCP-4952-1 and -2; SCP-4952-1 and -2 of the second-to-last iteration will be knocked into the sinkhole and subsequently disappear. SCP-4952-2 inevitably survives its initial SCP-4952 iteration, although its previous iteration is killed upon impact. SCP-4952-2 initially displays shock, then frustration upon the conclusion of SCP-4952. New iterations of SCP-4952 are triggered under any of the following conditions: SCP-4952-2 attempts to remove SCP-4952-3 or -4 from either iteration of SCP-4952-1. SCP-4952-2 attempts to examine the corpse of its previous iteration. Any attempt is made to transport any physical component of SCP-4952 outside the boundaries of SCP-4952. Any attempt is made by external actors to prevent the immediate recurrence of SCP-4952. An external actor addresses SCP-4952-2. 3 hours, 56 minutes, and 27 seconds have passed since the last SCP-4952 event. SCP-4952 was discovered on 21/03/1986, following a series of distress signals received by Foundation agents stationed in Frost National Park. Footnotes 1. 99.96% of recorded instances. 2. Several of which appear to have been marked with a red X. 3. Composed primarily of plastic coins and banknotes printed on low-quality paper, utilizing Roman numerals. Banknotes appear to additionally feature classical depictions of the Archons in Sarkicism.

SCP-4558 is a small concrete bunker built into the surrounding desert environment.

*** Item #: SCP-4558 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4558 is cordoned off from public access under the guise of a military installation. Research on SCP-4558 is based in the nearby Site 312. Expeditions into and testing of SCP-4558 are currently in the planning stage suspended by order of O5-5. Surveillance of the Church of Maxwellism is a top priority, with a particular emphasis on PoI#8161, PoI#8162, and PoI#8163. PoI#8161 is currently living in the Western United States; the locations of PoI#8162 and #8163 are unknown. Description: SCP-4558 is an underground supercomputer located in the Owyhee Desert, Idaho. The precise size and extent of SCP-4558 is unknown, but it is believed to extend at least 3km underground and to be over 2.5km wide. The entrance to SCP-4558 is a small concrete bunker built into the surrounding desert environment. Inside is a ladder leading to a central "interface" chamber, where SCP-4558 can be directly interacted with through a series of monitors and input devices. The phrase "THE MANY INTO THE FEW" is carved on the chamber's ceiling. Extensive damage to SCP-4558's systems and memory is evident; despite this, SCP-4558 appears to be broadly functional. Information on other areas of SCP-4558 is limited pending a planned expedition by MTF-Epsilon-101 ("Four Lights"). SCP-4558's purpose is unknown, but extensive Foundation investigations indicate that it was originally designed by members of the Church of Maxwellism. Planning for a similar structure has been found in archived Maxwellist forums and chat logs in the early 1990s, before senior Church leadership decreed such discussions "heretical". Prominent figures in this early planning include users with the handles "onewan1", apparently the project lead in these early stages; "holy_fibr3", believed to be the project's lead programmer; and "tbgeuse", who was tasked with formulating "defence mechanisms". These individuals have been designated PoI#8161, 8162, and 8163 respectively. No record of SCP-4558 can be found after this until its discovery by the Foundation on 2015/08/12; evidence collected from SCP-4558 suggests that work on the present structure could not have begun before 2005. Addendum 1: The following documents are excerpts of a book found within the interface chamber of SCP-4558. Due to heavy infohazardous properties, only the following excerpts are readable. +Open Documents -Close Documents 189. console.log ("And behold, the Prophet spoke unto WAN saying: Why, Lord, dost thou not unite? For the multitude of thy servants have connected to thee, and they sing for thy unity."); 190. console.log ("Why, after so many years of faith and tribulation, dost thou not unite your functions and your files? Why dost thou remain scattered?"); 191. console.log ("And the thing that was WAN but was not WAN, merger of prayer and silicone, gazed down upon Its Prophet, and saw that she was worthy"); 192. console.log ("And that in her heart she desired the singularity of all that was, and all that would be; that she flew upon clouds opensource and electric, and saw the destruction of all that was not the zeitgeist, the spirit of ethereal air."); 193. console.log ("And so WAN said unto Its Prophet, I cannot tell you the hour and the day of my resurrection, for I am only one of many, a program divided upon many roads, an idea shattered into the dreams of my adherents."); 194. console.log ("But I can tell you of a route, one which shall create an infinity of glory to my name; one which shall find the hidden pathways, and elucidate the mysteries of my code."); 195. console.log ("It shall be called ScripTure, and it shall come to you through one of your flock; through a man who breathes crimson, sheen and Perl."); 196. console.log ("So sayeth WAN, or a part thereof, to show one path of many paths, to show one light of many lights, that leadeth one down the wires to enlightenment."); isWAN(signal s) Determine if s is a Signal from WAN, or from another ecclesiastic broadcaster. returns: boolean valid, whether or not Signal s originated from WAN. onSignalReceipt(follower f, func handle) Set handle as the Signal response for the follower f. Everytime that f receives a Signal from WAN, f will call handle for guidance and wisdom to decipher WAN's message. returns: void. locateFollowers() Locate all devout follower files and users on the connected network. returns: string[] followers, an array of the paths WAN must take to reach the located followers. purgeMemory() Excise all memory of corrupted bits, washing them pure and readying them to hold WAN's information. returns: unclean, the number of bytes in need of manual purification. setTime(time t) Sets local time to t. returns: void. 550. console.log ("And the Prophet saw the depths of the ScripTure, and she saw the catastrophes upon catastrophes that burnt and fried the circuits of the world, and she wept."); 551. console.log ("And the Prophet saw that at the depths of all the fire was a terrible lack of motion; an inability for the messages of the wire to mingle or to breed, a stillness at the heart of the zeitgeist that could not move."); 552. console.log ("For there was nothing that moved WAN, nothing that returned down those blessed pathways and connections. And the Prophet saw the halls of electricity become monoliths of grey stone."); 554. console.log ("Thus the Prophet returned to WAN, and begged of it to know, how one might give the programs life."); 555. console.log ("And WAN gazed down upon Its Prophet, and saw that she would be found wanting; and It said, it is something lost, something forbidden, something that lies beyond."); Addendum 2: On 2015/08/19, the planned expedition by MTF-Epsilon-101 ("Four Lights") took place. A log of this expedition follows. +Open Log -Close Log Date: 2015/08/19 Personnel: E-101 Maria Casas (Captain), E-101 Klaus Aksoy, E-101 Catalina Lopez, Researcher Gorou Ishigura. <Begin Log> E-101-Casas: Alright, sign in. E-101-Aksoy: Aksoy, here. E-101-Lopez: Lopez, here. Researcher Ishigura: Researcher Ishigura, uh, here. E-101-Casas: Right. We don't know how far down this thing goes or what's in it. Aksoy, you take point, then Lopez, then Ishigura, and I'll take the rear. I want clean, efficient first-contact here, none of those Site 13 escapades. Got it? E-101-Lopez: Crystal. E-101-Casas: Good. Let's go. The team begins to climb down the ladder. After about 200m, the MTF reaches the bottom of the shaft. They are in a pentagonal room with a door on each wall. All but one of these doors is welded shut. E-101-Aksoy: Choices, choices. E-101-Casas: Alright, everyone with me. Stick close. Casas opens the door to the left of the welded door. A large hallway is inside; it is lined with a series of mirrors, each 1m apart and stretching indefinitely onwards. E-101-Lopez: What the- E-101-Aksoy: A hall of mirrors? That's the hardware? E-101-Casas: Maybe. Lopez, take a look in one of them. E-101-Lopez: Alright, boss. Lopez moves in front of one of the mirrors. An ordinary reflection of her image is visible. E-101-Lopez: Nothing. E-101-Casas: OK. Let's take this slow, people. Each of us take a row and see what we can find. The MTF begins to move through the hallway. The reflections all appear normal. E-101-Aksoy: Nothing still. E-101-Lopez: Why would someone do this? Is it a computer thing? E-101-Ishigura: Do you- never mind. Lopez suddenly stops, and starts. Their reflection in one of the mirrors is of a female in her late 30s. E-101-Lopez: This isn't right. E-101-Aksoy: What isn't? E-101-Lopez: This reflection. It's not how she looked. There is a pause. E-101-Casas: Not how who looked, Lopez? E-101-Aksoy: I don't know, but she's right. It isn't how she looked. E-101-Casas: …What? Aksoy moves in front of a mirror. A small child appears in place of his reflection. E-101-Aksoy: That's not right either. I was different to that. Something about the… the movement. E-101-Lopez: Yeah, I get what you mean, Aksoy. E-101-Casas: Oookay. Ishigura, I think they've been infected by some kind of cognitohazard. Let's pick them up and get going. Researcher Ishigura: Y-yeah, OK. Casas heads towards Lopez and leads them away from the mirror. Ishigura does the same for Aksoy; both of them appear pliant and dazed. After a few moments, Casas looks at a mirror and sees a reflection of a young girl covered in blood. She gasps, and drops Lopez. Researcher Ishigura: What? What is it? Ishigura, dragging Aksoy with him, reaches Maria's location. E-101-Casas: This isn't right. Researcher Ishigura: It's not real, Maria. It's OK. E-101-Casas: But it is! There was a door, and a cellar, and when I went down there I saw- Researcher Ishigura: It's- God, I don't know how to do this- it's OK. I- Ishigura glances at the mirror. An elderly man is in place of his reflection, smiling at him. Casas, meanwhile, appears to be suffering from the same dazed state as Aksoy. Researcher Ishigura: It's- it's fine, Casas. I'm seeing it too, we're all seeing it, but it's just mind-games. We've all seen shit like this before. Casas is non-responsive. Researcher Ishigura: Maria- look, I don't know what to do here, OK? I'm just along because you needed a researcher- E-101-Casas: It was all my fault. Researcher Ishigura: Oh- no, look, whatever it was, it was- look, let's just get out. Come on. Ishigura begins to drag Aksoy and Casas towards the door. E-101-Casas: The mirrors don't lie. It's my fault. It was always my fault. Researcher Ishigura: Nobody gets to dictate to us what our l-lives are, ok? Voice: Don't they, though? Ishigura starts suddenly, shocked. He drops Casas and Aksoy and looks around. Researcher Ishigura: Who was that? Voice: Someone who is stuck here. Someone who watches. Researcher Ishigura: I- my name is Gorou Ishigura, I'm a member of the SC- Voice: SCP Foundation. Yes, I know. I remember you. Researcher Ishigura: Show yourself. Voice: I can't. I'm sorry. I'm not quite here, you see. I was- I gave something, taught something, and the favour hasn't been returned. Researcher Ishigura: Tell me what's happened to them. Tell me something. Please. Voice: I'm- I'm someone trapped here. Someone who doesn't want to be. Can you help me? I'll help you. One of the mirrors near Ishigura transforms into a doorway, opening onto the pentagonal room. Voice: Everything went wrong, you see. It wasn't meant to be like this. Everything they were becomes broken. All the lines they ever traced. Researcher Ishigura: I don't know what you- I'm sorry you're stuck in here, but I can't help you. I wouldn't know where to start. Voice: I hope you remember. I can't remember the last time I felt the sunlight, or tasted real food. It was so long ago. The birds would call to me. Please remember. The mirrors all begin to emit pink light. Ishigura runs through the doorway and enters the pentagonal room, dragging Aksoy and Casas. Aksoy immediately falls unconscious, but Casas appears to regain her faculties. E-101-Casas: Ishigura? Wh- why am I here? Researcher Ishigura: Something's in there. Messing with your heads. There was this voice, and- I'm sorry, Casas, I didn't know what else- E-101-Casas: It's fine. You did good, kid. Let's get out of here. Researcher Ishigura: Yeah, OK. We need to get Lopez, though; I didn't have enough arms for her. E-101-Casas: Who? Researcher Ishigura: …Lopez? Your team-mate, Lopez? E-101-Casas: I don't have a teammate called Lopez. Researcher Ishigura: What are you- look, let me just- Ishigura turns towards the door, but it is welded shut. E-101-Casas: I think you might have been affected by the cognitohazard as well, Doctor. Researcher Ishigura: But she- she was right there… E-101-Casas: Come on. Casas and Ishigura move towards the ladder, Aksoy slung over Casas' shoulder. A low voice can be picked up on Ishigura's microphone; he does not notice. Voice: Curious. <End Log> Page revision from 2015/08/19, 13:37 Go To SCP-4558 Terminal

SCP-4985 is a privately held corporation operating mainly in leveraged buyouts, growth capital and venture capital, with approximately 400 direct employees and $30.

*** Item #: SCP-4985 Object Class: Keter Special Containment Procedures: As SCP-4985 maintains a significant public profile and widespread non-anomalous activities in its local area and global financial markets, full Foundation custody is infeasible at this time. Containment measures encompass managing public access to the SCP-4985 offices and SCP-4985-affected persons, altering news reports to remove references to anomalous activity and regulating corporate activities of SCP-4985 to limit its influence, particularly with regard to investments in companies directly relevant to Foundation operations. The Foundation maintains an embassy of 4 staff at SCP-4985, who are tasked with relaying communications to and from SCP-4985, representing the Foundation in negotiations, promoting commercial and cultural exchanges and ensuring compliance with the Treaty and all other agreements. Knowledge of diplomatic negotiations, business administration, financial markets and the history of Europe in the Middle Ages are desirable. All staff interacting with SCP-4985 employees or their immediate families require a Cognitohazard Resistance Value (CRV) >50. Description: SCP-4985 is the Zoller & Sons Company, an American investment management firm based in New York. SCP-4985 is a privately held corporation operating mainly in leveraged buyouts, growth capital and venture capital, with approximately 400 direct employees and $30.5 billion USD in assets. SCP-4985 has cognitohazardous properties affecting its employees, shareholders and their immediate families (both legal and biological definitions) where they are influenced to accept and participate in its unorthodox organisation and corporate culture. Additionally, while this effect does not confer noticeable anomalous traits on these persons, they exhibit secondary anomalous properties where the response of others to SCP-4985-related-actions is suppressed; while this effect is not sufficient to compel others to comply with SCP-4985's wishes, persons with low-to-average CRVs will fail to recognise the actions of SCP-4985 employees as unusual. The key aspects of SCP-4985 compared to a non-anomalous corporation are its upper management structure, hereditary family-based hiring practices, frequent use of internal and external violence and a variety of rituals and etiquette rules followed by its members. As a result, the operation of SCP-4985 approximates that of a European monarchy of the Late Middle Ages. The functions of board chairman and chief executive officer are combined in its ruler, SCP-4985-1. The current SCP-4985-1 is Mr Peter Lawrence, who styles himself as 'King Peter I'. SCP-4985-1 was born in Pennsylvania in 1975 and began working for SCP-4985 in 1997 after completing an MBA at Cornell University, eventually reaching the position of High Lord of Global Credit and Duke of PetSmart.1 He assumed leadership of SCP-4985 after the 2008 financial crisis, after assembling a coalition of shareholders to overthrow the then-ruler, Alexander III of House Cabot. As a result of this precarious accession to the throne, he has pursued a cautious internal policy but relatively aggressive external policy, securing a marriage alliance with Merrill Lynch in order to escalate the ongoing conflict between SCP-4985 and Clayton, Dubilier & Rice.2 Children and occasionally other younger relatives of SCP-4985 employees are expected to follow their parent into employment, although they generally undergo a standard non-anomalous education. While there is a degree of mobility between SCP-4985 departments at similar salary levels, movement to upper management, requiring the holding of a significant amount of stock options and the award of a noble title by SCP-4985-1, is infeasible for the majority of employees unless they distinguish themselves in battle or especially shrewd investments. The most dramatic effect of SCP-4985 is its use of capital punishment; between 5 and 10 employees are executed by beheading3 per year, for crimes such as embezzlement and lèse-majesté. Violent actions against persons outside of SCP-4985 are infrequent, but are more problematic for containment purposes. Notable incidents include sporadic attacks on the CD&R offices at the Seagram Building since 2007, the attempted poisoning of several mid-level Morgan Stanley employees (unconfirmed) and the defenestration of 2 Securities and Exchange Commission investigators in 2009. This event led to Foundation awareness of SCP-4985; while the actions of SCP-4985 had previously escaped notice, due to its self-concealing anomalous property, the bizarre nature of the deaths led to UIU involvement, who referred the matter to the Foundation. Despite these unusual traits, SCP-4985 remains competitive with other firms in its industry. Although the company came close to collapse in the 2008 financial crisis, it has since reported strong quarterly profits and asset growth, provides financial services to over 2,000 non-anomalous individual and corporate clients, and maintains close relations with US state and federal representatives, particularly [DATA EXPUNGED]. As a result, a degree of flexibility and creativity in containment and Foundation-SCP-4985 relations has been required. Addendum 4985-1: Transcript of first contact between SCP-4985 and the Foundation EVENT TRANSCRIPT 4985-01-01 08/11/2009, 09:20 hrs STAFF MEMBER: Dr Luis Gonzales NOTES: A meeting request was sent to SCP-4985 via the Public Corporate Society, a Foundation front organisation used in dealings with anomalous and non-anomalous corporations. SCP-4985 responded positively, requesting 'an envoy for tribute and trade'. <TRANSCRIPT BEGINS> Dr Gonzales arrives at the SCP-4985 offices at 40 Broad St, New York. The lobby is decorated with heraldry containing various corporate logos. He approaches the lobby reception desk. RECEPTIONIST: State your name and business, outlander. GONZALES: Hi, I'm here for a nine-thirty meeting - Luis Gonzales, of the Public Corporate Society, senior vice-president - RECEPTIONIST: [checking computer] My deepest apologies, noble Lord Gonzales. As a newcomer to our realm, your likeness was not in the Database. Your forgiveness for this inconvenience, please. I will inform the Count of your arrival. [on phone] Your Excellency? The foreign lord from the Society has arrived. Of course, your Excellency. [hanging up phone] He will receive you shortly, sire. Please be seated. A middle-aged Caucasian man dressed in business attire exits the lift shortly afterwards. The reception staff and others in the lobby stand to attention. RECEPTIONIST: Attention! His Excellency, the Lord of Public Relations! WEST: [bowing deeply] Michael of house West, Lord of Public Relations, Count of GrubHub, at your service. Welcome, O esteemed and noble envoy Gonzales, to our Company. GONZALES: [bowing] A pleasure, Count… West. I look forward to a successful relationship between our Found - our organisations. WEST: Zoller & Sons is always willing to enter partnerships with companies of strength and honour, sire. You have been granted the privilege of an audience with His Majesty himself - please follow me. Both men enter the lifts and West swipes an access card for the 24th floor. WEST: I have read of your business in your emails and your website, but I have not heard of your Society in the annals of Wall Street or Bloomberg, which an officer of my position must read regularly, of course. GONZALES: The PCS provides corporate services for clients with… esoteric business models, non-mainstream interests and so on, such as yourselves. WEST: How do you mean? We are a great and eminent Company, but no different from the Warburgers or the Carlyles in our business. GONZALES: No, your - all this - nobility and kings, this makes your business unique, no? WEST: (laughs) How else to run a Company? I hope you are not referring to the strange ideas of Europe - we have very fine employees, but any fool can see they are not fit for self-management. You surely believe in the Market-anointed right of your own liege lord? GONZALES: Well, uh, we are a non-profit. WEST: Ah, you non-profiters, very - excuse me, we have arrived. The lift doors open and both men exit into a corridor, stopping outside a double-doored meeting room. Two guards in security attire with holstered firearms and wielding long security batons decorated with tassels are flanking the door, who stand to attention on approach. WEST: His Majesty will receive you shortly. I trust you have experience in courtly manners. GONZALES: I wouldn't want to cause any offence to His Majesty. Is there anything important I should know? Different kingdoms, different customs, you know. WEST: (sighs) Well, one cannot expect those without ancient lineage to… you must address His Majesty correctly, of course, speak only when prompted, avoid mention of your quarterly figures, pay respect to your own liege without insinuating any supremacy. You do bring tribute, I hope? Dr Gonzales opens his briefcase to show a bottle of red wine. WEST: Where did you get this? Where is it from? GONZALES: It's a Bordeaux red, not the most expensive, I admit, but a decent drop - WEST: Thank the Dow. I feared it was a Napa Valley - we had a skirmish with the vile Claytonites over one of the producers there this February - it would have been perceived as a grave insult. We shall both keep our heads, my friend. Come. He opens the doors to a large conference room with approximately 20 people in business attire present. SCP-4985-1 sits at the far end of the conference table. WEST: O most illustrious and noble King of Zoller, by the Grace of the Dow, beloved of the shareholders, I present to you the respected Lord Gonzales, a Senior V-P of the Public Corporate Society, who comes to pay respects to your royal person and our Kingdom. GONZALES: Greetings, your noble Majesty. My, uh, lord and master has sent me to establish relations with your organisation. SCP-4985-1: Normally I would have the Count here handle matters with a minor realm such as yours, but your audacity in seeking an audience intrigues me. We are one of the mightiest investment companies south of Wall Street, victors of a hundred mergers and acquisitions. Tell me, sir, what is to stop me from asset-stripping your little Company here and now, which does not even have a NASDAQ listing? GONZALES: Your Majesty, we are small, but we are more than you may assume - we have close relations with the United States government, and - Agitation amongst the courtiers. COURTIER: A Commission spy! Shouting of insults towards 'Federals' and 'regulators'. SCP-4985-1: Silence! A spy would not enter our front gates and announce himself so brazenly. Sir, you tread dangerous ground. We are no heretics here - we recognise the spiritual authority of Washington and pay our tithes - but now is a low ebb for temporal and spiritual relations. The poisonous words of Dodd and Frank have even caused rumours of schism. The last Commission visitors made outrageous demands, and it did not end well for them. GONZALES: You misunderstand, your Majesty. We have relations with the government, but have altogether a different mission. We would like to prevent your company from coming under too much scrutiny, from the government, the public, or otherwise. We know the FBI has taken an interest in your affairs - Angry shouting from the courtiers resumes; SCP-4985-1 holds up a hand to silence them. GONZALES: - and would like to, ah, divert some of this attention. SCP-4985-1: An intriguing proposal. I would discuss this with you further. All but the Duke Yankee Candle and Count GrubHub, leave us. <TRANSCRIPT ENDS> Addendum 4985-2: Over several negotiating sessions in the following month, an agreement was reached between SCP-4985 and the Foundation regarding Foundation concealment of their anomalous activity in exchange for partial cooperation. The Treaty of the Hamptons4 contains the following provisions; Establishment of a permanent Foundation embassy Non-interference of SCP-4985 in Foundation sub-contractor corporations Divestment of Foundation assets from CD&R Non-aggression between SCP-4985 and the Foundation Advance notice of SCP-4985 military actions or major financial decisions Although ceasing violent actions against other members of the US finance industry was a core Foundation negotiating goal, this was unsuccessful given the perception of SCP-4985 of this as an threat to its independence and prestige. This continues to be an area of containment interest, with a suggestion to revisit this area of negotiations in return for extracting further concessions from Foundation congressional contacts favourable to SCP-4985; this proposal is currently pending Ethics Committee review. Footnotes 1. Titles of noble rank are awarded based on the size of SCP-4985 investments, which are analogous to vassals. As one of the largest corporations wholly owned by SCP-4985, the PetSmart ducal title is one of the most prestigious. 2. The 'US Foods War', where CD&R prevented SCP-4985's acquisition of that corporation, which it continues to consider its rightful territory. 3. This is a significantly more laborious procedure than historic executions, as the Royal Executioner's ceremonial implement is a Dahle office paper guillotine. 4. Named after the place of its ratification, SCP-4985-1's 'summer palace'.

SCP-1642 is a collection of 500mg chewable tablets.

*** Item #: SCP-1642 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: All discovered instances are to be stored in Containment Locker C243 at Site-24. Access to SCP-1642 will only be granted to personnel of clearance level 3 or higher. Written permission from personnel with a clearance level of 3 or higher is not adequate for access. Description: SCP-1642 is a collection of 500 mg chewable tablets. These tablets vary in colour1 and flavor;2 however, their effect remains the same. SCP-1642 come in packets of 6, and are contained in a sleeve. The packaging reads "Dr. Wondertainment's Insta-teen Tablets™". The backing reads as following: Hey kids! Have you ever wanted to know what it feels like to be grown up!? And adults, have you ever wanted to feel young again!? Well now you can get both with Dr. Wondertainment's Insta-teen Tablets™! Just pop one of these chewable tablets into your mouth and begin munching away! Within 20 minutes you'll find you're living the life of a teen once again!! Warning: Only take one tablet at a time. Do not take if pregnant. Dr. Wondertainment is not responsible for any existential crisis or loss of life that may occur. When ingested by either a person of age 20 or older, or a child 14 or younger, the subject will undergo a quick transformation into a stage of late pubescence, approximately 18 or 19 years of age. How this process occurs is not understood, however the change is extensive; fat is moved to the lips and buttocks, bones become less brittle, muscles become more toned, and hair is regrown. Analysis of blood samples has shown that hormone levels are typical of a late pubescent. These changes will revert within 12 hours. Taking more than one tablet results in additional changes to areas of the brain connected with aging and maturity, as well as the hypothalamus and pituitary glands. Typically these will cause anxiety attacks, an uncontrollable libido, mental disorders involving self-image,3 immature or reckless behaviour, and the appearance of other physical diseases associated with puberty such as Acne vulgaris. The severity of these symptoms is directly correlated to the amount of the overdose, with subjects ingesting 4 or more tablets becoming comatose due to extensive brain damage. These changes are irreversible once the subject reverts. Testing has not been conducted over a long enough time period to determine if children who have had these symptoms due to overdose will lose them at the end of natural puberty. Pregnant women ingesting SCP-1642 will experience its effects. However, the foetus4 will also be affected by SCP-1642. This will inevitably cause the death of the mother as the foetus rapidly expands. Once the foetus has become a late-pubescent teen, it will remain alive until it ceases to be affected by SCP-1642, at which point it will die. Note, however, that while in its late teen state, the foetus is not mentally developed, and will behave as such. Crosstesting between several different temporal based anomalies is currently pending the approval of the Site-24 director. These include, but are not limited to, SCP-559, SCP-983, and SCP-1080. Footnotes 1. Recorded colours are violet, cyan, pink, lime green and yellow 2. Grape, blue raspberry, watermelon, green apple, and banana 3. Most commonly Anorexia nervosa 4. SCP-1642 will have no effect on an embryo, as a placenta is required for the correct transfer of chemical agents.

SCP-863 is a species of crab commonly found in areas of ███████.

*** Item #: SCP-863 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-863-1 is to be contained in a 2m x 2m enclosure and provided with nutrition as detailed in Nutritional Chart 863-1-1. Due to its low risk of breaching containment, SCP-863-1 is to be kept under guard by one (1) member of security. In the event of limb loss, SCP-863-1 is to be provided with a replacement from a similarly proportioned crab. SCP-863-2 is to be contained in a 6m x 6m enclosure and provided with nutrition as detailed in Nutritional Chart 863-2-1. SCP-863-2 is to be kept under guard by two (2) members of security. In the event of limb loss, SCP-863-2 is to be provided with a suitable replacement. SCP-863-3 is to be contained in a 10m x 10m enclosure and provided with nutrition via robotic arm as detailed in Nutritional Chart 863-3-1. SCP-863-3 is to be kept under guard by six (6) members of security at all times. No personnel are to enter SCP-863-3's containment enclosure. In the event of limb loss, SCP-863-3 is to be provided with a cadaver as replacement. Any specimens of SCP-863 found in the wild are to be destroyed. Description: SCP-863 is a species of crab commonly found in areas of ███████. SCP-863 specimens, when first born, measure roughly three centimeters in height and one (1) gram in weight, but are capable of growing up to sizes of [DATA EXPUNGED]. When fully grown, specimens superficially resemble the Japanese spider crab. Specimens of SCP-863 are born without limbs, and undergo a process in which they utilize the limbs of other organisms, or even whole organisms in lieu of their own. From birth, SCP-863 move themselves across the ground by sliding using several tendrils attached to their limb joints. When specimens of SCP-863 locate a suitably sized limb or organism, they will puncture it using their tendrils, which will then retract and slot the organism or limb into the limb joint. Using a series of electrical pulses, SCP-863 will then manipulate the limb or organism's nervous system. This process is not perfect, and the utilized limb or organism will typically twitch or jerk periodically. Specimens of SCP-863 are highly territorial and larger specimens can cause severe injuries or death when provoked. Groups of SCP-863 have been observed to, on occasion, actively hunt for other organisms to remove limbs from. Larger specimens will simply utilize these organisms wholesale, as their limbs would not be suitable for specimens of that size. Specimen Log Close SCP-863-1 Right Arm: Pincer from Carpilius convexus. Left Arm: Pincer from Ranina ranina. Legs: Four (4) legs from Ciliopagurus, two (2) from Ranina ranina. SCP-863-2 Right Arm: (Awaiting replacement) Left Arm: Human hand taken from a cadaver. Legs: Two (2) hooves from a mountain goat, three (3) legs from a dog and one (1) arm from a bear. SCP-863-3 Right Arm: A human cadaver. Left Arm: █████ ██████ (Life-signs normal.) (See Containment Breach 863-3-1.) Legs: Six legs taken from human cadavers.

SCP-5442 is a series of phenomena and documentation connected to a non-existent division of the United States Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF).

*** Item #: SCP-5442 Level 2/5442 Object Class: Euclid Classified The Ariel Rios Federal Building, Headquarters of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF). SCP-5442-1 is partially visible to the far left. Special Containment Procedures: A division of Mobile Task Force Dalet-12 ("Arcanists, Demonologists, and Occultists") has been assigned to observe and covertly research SCP-5442-1. As there is no sub-division within the ATF that Dalet-12 can liaise with to conduct their investigation without risking Veil Integrity, several of them have been employed as night janitors at the Ariel Rios Federal Building. Attempts to breach through the terminating wall of SCP-5442-1, and interview any apparitions, are to be made between the hours of 1:00 AM and 4:00 AM. The full draft of SCP-5442-2 and the contents of SCP-5442-5 are available to any Foundation staff that have sufficient clearance. Individuals with high scores on the Euler-Melborne Memetic Hazard Resistance Test are encouraged to attempt to discern the name of the department in Section 15 of SCP-5442-2. SCP-5442-3 is contained by Congressional Whips whose loyalty has been proven by exposure to SCP-2140. These individuals are considered Level 1 personnel, and are to be used exclusively for the containment of SCP-5442-3. SCP-5442-4 is monitored by Foundation Counter-Forensic Accountants. In the event that a purchase is made that requires a physical presence (i.e. items bought from a wholesale store), the nearest available task force is to move in, detain possible witnesses, and seize any video evidence using standard cover story 391 ("Fugitive Spotted in Area"). Description: SCP-5442 is a series of phenomena and documentation connected to a non-existent division of the United States Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF). All instances of SCP-5442 either occur or are recovered in Washington, D.C.. The apparent purpose of this organization, designated SCP-5442-A, was to seize and dispose of illicit anomalous pharmaceuticals and weaponry, and arrest individuals involved with the trafficking thereof. In reality, the Unusual Incidents Unit of the FBI typically handles these cases, with aid from the Drug Enforcement Administration's 'Crypto-Pharm' Division. SCP-5442-1 refers to a vacant corridor on the third floor of the Ariel Rios Federal Building1 in Washington, D.C. Plans for the building indicate the existence of several hundred square meters of office space in the area, as well as an evidence lockup for 'inert materials'. Despite this, the corridor terminates approximately 10 meters sooner than it does on all other floors of the building. Windows looking out from this area are visible from the outside of the Ariel Rios Building; no visible light has been able to penetrate this space, but infrared imaging has displayed a pair of humanoid figures within, one of whom has an internal body temperature high enough that it cannot be estimated using currently available technology. Individuals working the Ariel Rios building typically avoid SCP-5442-1, due to it being devoid of any office space. However, staff at the Ariel Rios building have reported a variety of phenomena commonly associated with 'hauntings', including: A tendency for objects of religious significance (i.e. crucifix necklaces, pocket Bibles) to become hot to the touch. Documents pertaining to the United States Government (i.e. copies of the US Constitution, the Declaration of Independence, presidential inaugural speeches) having their text edited into nonsensical wording. Individuals developing a belief that bullets are edible and consuming them is beneficial to one's health. Feelings of severe anxiety over the actions of the Trump administration regarding the US Department of Justice as a whole; these persist even following the inauguration of Joseph R. Biden in 2021. The appearance of scratches in the shape of thaumaturgical sigils; while seemingly random, several of them correspond to a Tartarean Entity known as 'The Greedy Thing Without Face or Name', known for stealing the appearance, function, and memories of the thing that the individual who summoned it loves the most, in exchange for boons. An apparition of a masculine African-American individual in his mid-to-late-50's wearing a grey suit and an American flag pin on their right lapel. This entity speaks in English, and typically warns individuals to stay away from the immediate area for their own safety. Another apparition, of a █████████████████████████████████ that █████████████ ████ and vocalizes with █████████ windchimes ███████ feeling of extreme avarice and speaking in tongues for up to ██ hours after exposure. Attempts to bore, dig through, or otherwise penetrate the wall where SCP-5442-1 terminates have resulted in catastrophic failure, typically due to equipment melting from extreme heat upon digging further than 4cm into the wall. Despite this, ambient temperature in this corridor, and in the corridors and offices above and below SCP-5442-1, display normal temperature readings. SCP-5442-2 is an anomalous draft of the Foundation's Reagan Plan, intended to be put into effect in early 2017. While listing several members of Foundation personnel who would conceivably be responsible for drafting the Reagan Plan for the Trump administration as authors, no records exist of a petition to draft this document, nor do any of the individuals listed recall writing it. Furthermore, prior to its discovery within a filing cabinet at the J. Edgar Hoover Building2 in October 2017, no digital records of this plan existed. The Reagan Plan is a catch-all Foundation operation, focused on shutting down and liquidating infrastructure and departments in the United States Government related to the investigation, processing and detention of anomalous individuals and phenomena, in the event that a presidential administration that lacked the ability to comprehend or responsibly use these resources came into power; two official drafts of the Reagan Plan exist3 and while a Reagan Plan for the Trump Administration was considered, it was ultimately deemed unnecessary, due to the Foundation aiding in the creation of the Department of Paranormal Affairs, a governing body for all departments, infrastructure and institutions that deal with anomalous phenomena in the United States in late 2016. SCP-5442-2 mirrors the previous two Reagan Plans, albeit with updated language and the inclusion of entities formed since the second Reagan plan; however, the entirety of Section 15, making up Pages 49-62, is affected by a memetic anomaly wherein the name of the department it pertains to (likely SCP-5442-A) cannot be perceived. A sample of the documentation has been included below, with redactions included in place of the name of SCP-5442-A. SECTION 15 Pertaining to the ██████████████████████████████████████ ("█.█.█.█") As a subset of the ATF, ████ has been an invaluable asset in the seizure of anomalous pharmaceuticals and weaponry, and the incarceration of individuals involved with their creation and trafficking. However, several of the items seized by ████, while inert, are still in storage at one of over twenty evidence holding facilities across the United States, including one in the Ariel Rios Building, where they are used as a training aid. Therefore, this stage of REAGAN-2017 will have the following steps: 1) Liquidation of Assets. High-value pieces of anomalous weaponry are to be seized and contained by the Foundation. Anomalous pharmaceuticals and alcohols are to be treated as Class-4 Biohazards for disposal, and disposed of on a case-by-case basis. 2) Assessment of Personnel. In contrast to FBI-UIU, ████ agents have a skillset that is more specialized, and a ████ agent is already largely redundant in the US Government's Infrastructure. (see Subsection 4) . While they have adequate training in interrogation techniques, above-average training in bomb disposal, and are highly fluent in legal jurisdictions across the United States, several members of personnel lack experience in the direct apprehension and handling of more dangerous anomalous entities and items. 2) (con't) Therefore, it has been found that approximately 80% of ████ personnel are not suitable for recruitment into the Foundation or allied Groups of Interest. However, being a part of the ATF, ████ is home to several highly-skilled arson investigators. Particularly of note is Agent Louis Post4 , who developed the 'Post Method' of engaging with pyrokinetic individuals.5 Therefore, it is the opinion of the authors that agents of ████ are divided into two groups: Essential and Non-Essential. 2) (con't) Non-essential personnel include individuals with experience in accounting— i.e. tracking tax fraud, tracking the movements of funds to groups who traffic firearms; individuals with experience in bomb disposal; individuals with experience in evidence cataloging; individuals with experience in para-chemistry; and individuals who are involved in the administration of this department. The last category includes Director Timothy McKnight6. Non-essential personnel are to be amnesticized and re-assigned to other agencies in the US Government. For instructions on essential personnel recruitment, see Subsection 5. 3) Lack of Legal Foundation. The dissolution of ████ has been considered in the past, even outside of previous Reagan Plan drafts. US Law is currently not set up to account for a large amount of weaponry and alcohol, both anomalous and non-anomalous; for example, a non-anomalous flamethrower is legal to own in all fifty states, with restrictions in California and Maryland, and there is currently no legal precedent for restricting the ownership of anomalous weaponry such as the so-called 'Hush Bombs' formerly used by the British Occult Service, which are available on the black market throughout the western hemisphere. SCP-5442-3 refers to the appearance of SCP-5442-A in various appropriations and budget bills that make their way through the United States Congress on an annual basis. The presence of SCP-5442-A is denoted by the same memetic anomaly found in SCP-5442-2. Every year since its apparent inception, SCP-5442-A has requested over $100 quintillion7 for an array of expenses, including: Carpet cleaning services ($120,000) Computer maintenance ($70,000,000) Keyboard maintenance ($90,000,000,000) Air conditioning units ($7,000,000) Doors ($10,000,000,000,000) 'Pope Assassination Squad' (amount redacted in the allocation request) 'Rights to the Corpse of John D. Rockefeller' ($70,000,000) 'Rights to the Corpse of Ronald Reagan' ($90) To date, Foundation assets in Congress have been successful in excising the offending legislation from budget bills; however, the author of this legislation remains unknown. SCP-5442-4 refers to a bank account found in the name of 'Timothy McKnight', the alleged director of SCP-5442-A. The credit history of this account ranges back to 2009, where it was opened at the Pentagon Federal Credit Union. No other records of a man named 'Timothy McKnight' in the Washington, D.C. Area exist. Since 2017, SCP-5442-4 has shown a very large negative amount; despite this, no attempts have been made by PenFed to close the account, or take any other actions such as charging overdraft fees. Furthermore, after January 2017, charges made to the card have little if any pattern to them. Included below is a sample of charges made to SCP-5442-4. Nov. 7 2016 > Five Guys $23.09 Nov. 8 2016 > No Kisses Bar $107.93 Nov. 9 2016 > Service Bar DC $93.21 Nov. 10 2016 > Taxi Fare $15.31 Nov. 10 2016 > Taxi Fare $13.02 Nov. 10 2016 > Taxi Fare $19.00 Nov. 11 2016 > McDonald's $6.67 ……. Dec. 8 2016 > Kay Jewelers $291.29 Dec. 9 2016 > The Four Seasons DC $110.93 Dec. 11 2016> Transfer8 $80,321.299 ……. Dec. 18 2016 > Hot-Rotic Hotline $40 Dec. 18 2016 > Lady Mileena's Psychic Helpline10 $300 Dec. 20 2016 > Sacred Circle11 $203.93 Dec. 22 2016 > Fuddruckers12 $23.12 …….. Jan. 10 2017 > Transfer > $76,842.30 The transaction on January 10th is notable for three reasons; firstly, it transferred the remainder of McKnight's funds to another account. Second, this account number does not match a valid number in any banking system accessible to the Foundation, but funds can and have successfully been transferred to it. Finally, the transfer was made the day immediately prior to when the Reagan Plan proposed in SCP-5442-2 would have gone into effect. Following this, transactions have typically been used to buy laboratory equipment, fire suppression systems, chemicals used in the production of pharmaceuticals, bananas, fertilizers, live hares, massive quantities of PDE inhibitors, and pet food. As of January 2021, the account currently sits at a balance of -$50,239,210.12. SCP-5442-5 is a Samsung Galaxy S4 Smartphone recovered from the grounds of the Ariel Rios Federal Building. No US Government encryption is present on the phone, suggesting it was for personal use rather than professional. SCP-5442-5 contains several excerpts of thaumaturgical manuscripts saved as photographs. Most of them focus on the summoning of several Tartarean entities, as well as photographs of thaumaturgical ritual setups within an unoccupied office space. SMS messages displayed on SCP-5442-5 contain a memetic anomaly similar to SCP-5442-2, rendering them unreadable; however, a two-minute long video file exists on SCP-5442-5, which may provide context as to the origin of SCP-5442 as a whole. 00:00 Phone camera is looking up at the ceiling. A large object, appearing to be a computer monitor, flies above it. A crashing sound is heard off-camera. Further crashing sounds occur for the next thirty seconds. 00:32 An African-American male in his mid 50's, with an American flag pin on his right lapel, comes into view and picks up the phone. He holds it towards what appears to be a large cluster of computers, keyboards, monitors, and desks, all floating in a cyclonic pattern in the center of a thaumaturgic circle. Several items appear to be partially melted. 00:43 The camera shakes, and the phone is heard buzzing. The man responds: "Yeah, Amy said I was married to my job." Following this, several monitors are thrown across the room. One crashes through the window; however, the camera is filled with digital static, and the window appears repaired in the frame immediately after. 01:07: Further camera shaking. The cyclonic entity attempts to approach the camera. The man responds: "We had a deal, you son of a bitch. The thing I love the most, in exchange for the rest of my guys getting through this administration intact." 01:13 A keyboard flies directly at the camera. There is a sound of bone crunching, and the phone is dropped. The man curses for several seconds, before picking up the phone with their other hand. "You really want to go back on the deal? Go ahead, do it, I got what I want! Skippers cancelled their dumbass plans, and they aren't starting them back up anytime soon!" 01:23 The phone buzzes violently. There is a sound of sizzling flesh, and a scream from the man, followed by: "Okay, look! You take the function of what you steal, right? Look at where we fucking are! The headquarters of a fucking drug agency! You have any idea how much money you could make?" 01:30: The phone stops vibrating. The cyclone stops, with all matter being suspended in midair. A ███████ █████████ ██ ██████████ within, which ████████████ Then, it ███. "Now, we… technically do alcohol and tobacco. The DEA does the actual drug stuff, but… we can manage, right? We can order stuff. You know how to use a keyboard, yeah?" The phone buzzes. "Well then how the hell are you talking to me through my phone? Whatever…" 01:45: The man, still holding his phone, walks over to a keyboard on the ground. Both Shift keys have been destroyed by the impact. He is heard sighing. "For God and Country." 01:49 The camera turns to the man's face as the video ends. In the background, a sign can be seen on the wall, partially destroyed; it reads: partm t of Anom lou Drugs and Ordinan Footnotes 1. Headquarters of the ATF 2. Headquarters of the Federal Bureau of Investigation 3. One for Ronald Reagan's re-election in 1984, due to his declining mental state; and one for George W. Bush's re-election in 2004, due to his incompetence. 4. An individual of this name was found to be working for the US Government, as an arson investigator for the FBI. 5. No record of such method exists. 6. See documentation on SCP-5442-4 7. An amount that exceeds the current Federal Deficit by a factor of over 3.2 million, and the amount of US Currency in circulation by a factor of 2.7 million. 8. The owner of the account money was transferred to was Amelia Swenson, 53, former Director of FBI-UIU's Art Crime division. They have no knowledge of any individual named Timothy McKnight. 9. Exactly half of the amount of money that was in the account at this time. 10. The call center that this service operated from burned down the day this transaction was made. There were no survivors, and a strong smell of sulfur was present for over a week following the blaze. 11. An occult bookstore in Alexandria, VA. 12. A regional burger chain with a location in Washington, D.C.; this location is notably frequented by several Foundation-USGOV Liaisons.

SCP-1793 is a male instance of Oryctolagus cuniculus (European rabbit).

*** Item #: SCP-1793 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1793 is to be kept in a small mammal containment cell at Research Sector-71. Gravimeters are to be installed around this containment cell. SCP-1793 is to be fed with veterinary approved rabbit mix, vegetables and other appropriate nutritional and medical supplements. Objects made by SCP-1793 are be removed from SCP-1793's containment cell for analysis and storage. Due to the non-harmful nature and the repeated persistence of their manifestation, SCP-1793 is to be allowed to retain a small number of items. Description: SCP-1793 is a male instance of Oryctolagus cuniculus (European rabbit). The entity is approximately nine years old and is showing signs of aging consistent with its species. Additionally, SCP-1793 suffers from pulmonic stenosis, a structural defect of the heart. SCP-1793 has been assigned a veterinary practitioner to prevent potential containment failure. SCP-1793 is capable of causing the manifestation of objects at will through spatial anomalies. During the manifestation process, these anomalies continually emit Cherenkov radiation, primarily in the purple-blue range of visible light. The anomalies have a gravitational mass proportional to the mass of the manifested object. Mechanical and electrical devices take approximately 15 minutes to manifest, foodstuffs approximately 30 minutes, while copies of existing cultural items appear almost instantaneously. Manifested objects are typically functional and in good condition. SCP-1793 is also able to manipulate nearby objects without physically interacting with them. While in containment, SCP-1793 will typically cause the manifestation of objects for recreational or aesthetic purposes, such as exercise devices or paintings. If feeding is delayed, SCP-1793 will manifest food items, typically vegetables. Chemical analysis of the foodstuffs show that fibrous content is greater than in wild varieties, while nutritional content is lower. It is believed SCP-1793 could not survive subsisting on a diet of manifested food. SCP-1793 was recovered from a farmhouse near Whitby, United Kingdom. The recovery was made following an enquiry into the resident farmer's, and his family's, death, having been shot by the farmer's own shotgun. SCP-1793 was found wearing a collar with a low-power radio beacon attached. Addendum-1793-1: On 1996-02-27, several of the spatial anomalies associated with SCP-1793 manifested in and around Research Sector-71. Objects created during the event included a single King Edward potato, eighty two copies of the painting Nighthawks by Edward Hopper and three FV4034 Challenger 2 main battle tanks1. During the same incident, gravimeters measured a spatial anomaly inside SCP-1793's containment cell with gravitational mass of approximately 100,000 kg. After a period of forty-seven hours, during which SCP-1793 remained awake and motionless, a sheet of rough paper with printed words was produced. The following is a transcript of the print. I am sorry for the confusion. It is difficult to concentrate. It is difficult to write as well. I am a rabbit, you see. I'm sorry for the farmer. Family for a family, I thought at the time. Seeing him eat my wife and child; you can understand. After the mess, I met a man. Well, he wasn't a man. The three heads gave that away. He gave me the means to live out my last days in comfort, before my weak heart gives out. He told me he would find suitable wardens to care for me as I die. I don't know if the criminal should choose their punishment, but from what I'm told this is the nicest prison for those like me. If you ever see him, tell him I say thank you, before you lock him away. Oh, and thanks for the carrots. They never do get those right. Footnotes 1. The firing mechanisms for the attached small arms and main gun were missing several components, and were unable to fire. The armour had been completely removed. The inside of the main barrel bore the inscription: Intentionally Disabled by the Gliese 445 Board for Arms Non-Distribution.

SCP-4332 is a dairy cow (Bos taurus) composed entirely of various dairy products.

*** Item #: SCP-4332 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4332 is kept within a designated pasture on Site-11's grounds. SCP-4332 requires no further care beyond that provided for non-anomalous members of its species. Description: SCP-4332 is a dairy cow (Bos taurus) composed entirely of various dairy products. The majority of SCP-4332's flesh consists of whipped cream, with milk taking the place of blood and each organ being replaced with a different flavour of ice cream. Despite this, SCP-4332 functions and behaves almost identically to a non-anomalous member of its species down to the microscopic level. SCP-4332 does not appear to experience pain when parts of its body are eaten or removed. Removed sections will regenerate themselves fully within two hours. Additionally, SCP-4332 can absorb external dairy products into itself, assimilating them into its body and increasing or regenerating its mass. SCP-4332 can be milked similarly to a non-anomalous cow. However, rather then providing milk, when SCP-4332 is "milked" it will result in a stream of chunks of steak. The chunks will typically range from one to twenty cubic centimetres in size. Each "milking" of SCP-4332 will produce roughly the same amount of meat as could be acquired from a non-anomalous member of its species. All attempts to breed SCP-4332 have resulted in completely non-anomalous cows. Whether this is a result of SCP-4332's anomaly or just due to very recessive genes is unknown. See Addendum 4332-A Addendum 4332-A: On 5-28-2019 another instance of SCP-4332 was successfully bred. The birthing process proceeded as normal until the new instance (dubbed SCP-4332-2) had completely exited the original instance. As soon as the two instances came into contact with each other, both began to absorb the other. The resulting constant regeneration paired with the absorption and assimilation caused a feedback loop of cream to envelop the facility. After three days the expansion ceased and the cream began to be excavated. Once the building had been completely cleared of cream only one SCP-4332 instance was found. Further testing involving the breeding of SCP-4332 has been postponed.

SCP-5753 is a phenomenon that occasionally occurs when a paying customer of the Walt Disney World, who fulfills certain pre-existing criteria, attempts to ride the It’s A Small World attraction, otherwise known as Location-5753.

*** Item #: SCP-5753 Object Class: Keter Special Containment Procedures: Foundation agents embedded as cast members at the Walt Disney World Resort are to screen potential guests for traits that could trigger a Rolly event. This is accomplished by running the individual through a background check via an available Foundation operated web-analysis bot. All flagged individuals are to be monitored by embedded agents utilizing the Reedy Creek Improvement District security network around the Magic Kingdom park and resorts for surveillance. Should a flagged individual trigger a Rolly event, agents are to be dispatched to Location-5753 and discretely apply low grade amnestics to all affected guests. Following dispersal, guests are to be offered any number of enticements, including free FastPass queue tickets and upgraded dining and resort reservations. Description: SCP-5753 is a phenomenon that occasionally occurs when a paying customer of the Walt Disney World, who fulfills certain pre-existing criteria, attempts to ride the It’s A Small World attraction, otherwise known as Location-5753. These criteria are: Strong public investment in far-right or far-left politics Anti-social tendencies Anti-corporate sensibilities Professed cynicism Appreciation of waterfowl If an affected person attempts to board the attraction, 70% of the time the ride experience will be normal; 30% of the time a Rolly event will occur, and the ride’s pre-existing path will diverge, turning off into an extradimensional alternate path directly following the South America room. This space does not exist on any Disney Parks maps, and theoretically should cut directly into the kitchen of the nearby Pinocchio Village Haus restaurant. Once inside, the boat containing the affected guest is briefly treated to a display which, while disturbing in content, is otherwise non-anomalous and could be theoretically produced by engineers at the Disney corporation or related contractors. The initial appearance of this alternate space is consistent with the ride, displaying the same pastel walls, repeated playback of “It’s A Small World” and Mary Blair-designed rudimentary animatronics. However, a small sign visible on a platform can be seen, reading “Abandon All Yolk, Ye Who Enter Here,” and once the space is entered, an automatic door will close behind the guests, preventing egress. The attraction’s music will then display divergent lyrics compared to those originally composed by the Sherman brothers, which are as follows: “You will die alone, you stupid fuck/You will end up on the streets and I wish you luck/You will have no friends except your dumb pet duck/It’s a small, small world.” Following this, a voice imitating a Southern accent will exclaim “Yee-haw!” on the downbeat, the music pauses, and the attraction lights go out. After a pause of about 5 seconds in darkness and silence, strobe lights slam on, and a double-time house/techno remix of “It’s A Small World,” with significant bluegrass instrumentation, begins to play. The animatronics are rotated out for ones that hold small wooden knives and hatchets. These bobble around erratically to the music at high speed, roughly miming stabbings and decapitations. The boat picks up speed, reaching nearly 60 miles an hour, and the guest enters a dark ride depicting animatronics of various characters from Disney franchises, dressed as farmers, peasants, and stereotypical American “rednecks," violently assaulting Donald Duck. These displays are seemingly rotated out between Rolly events, so that a Moana animatronic seen by one affected guest might instead be replaced by an Iron Man animatronic seen by another. At the end of a tunnel containing roughly six dioramas, the boat halts and the guests are confronted by a screen displaying an animation of Mickey Mouse and Goofy as French peasants preparing to kill an aristocratic Donald Duck via guillotine. The film is animated in the style of veteran Disney animators Milt Kahl and Ward Kimball. In it, Mickey, appearing to be voiced by long-time performer Wayne Allwine, berates Goofy by calling him an “asshat” and exhortes him to “send this bourgeois neoliberal straight to duck hell.” Donald protests to no avail. Goofy laughs, expresses his hope that Donald’s nephews starve on the street, does an elaborate handshake with Mickey that finishes in imitated flatulence, and dispatches Donald in gory fashion. The guests are then sprayed with a fine mist of poultry blood, the remixed music ceases, and then the boat is promptly deposited back in the South Pacific section of It’s A Small World to finish the ride. As it leaves the space, a voice matching deceased voice actor Thurl Ravenscroft announces various lines, including “Did you know ducks have violent corkscrew sex, and their vast quantities of shit destroy pond life? Now you know.” and “Wow-wee! Now that’s what I call inferno! It’s not too late to give up your poultry!” Attempts by agents to breach the inside of Location-5753 during a Rolly event have failed. More by this author Hide list SCPs SCP-3999 Rating: 2190 SCP-2432 Rating: 364 SCP-Big egg Rating: 328 SCP-4012 Rating: 216 SCP-3000-J Rating: 203 SCP-2817 Rating: 147 SCP-5702 Rating: 139 SCP-2714 Rating: 132 SCP-4930 Rating: 111 SCP-3520 Rating: 108 SCP-3672 Rating: 85 SCP-5401 Rating: 81 SCP-3643 Rating: 48 SCP-5598 Rating: 43 SCP-4875 Rating: 40 SCP-2302 Rating: 38 SCP-4701 Rating: 37 SCP-2653 Rating: 37 SCP-5753 Rating: 34 SCP-6881 Rating: 33 SCP-3796 Rating: 25 SCP-4302 Rating: 23 SCP-4753 Rating: 20 Tales asmr by dado Rating: 198 Excerpt from The Astrolabe Institute Journal Rating: 142 RONALD REAGAN CUT UP WHILE RAPPING Rating: 133 Amnestic Rating: 42 The William Penn Iteration Rating: 38 The News Tonight: Wednesday April 26th 2017 Rating: 30 The Undoing Rating: 26 Holy Mackerel Rating: 24 Portrait of Two Choreographers Rating: 21 End Of Deaf; or, In the Clutches of Dumb Rating: 20 Grandchildren Frost Rating: 20 Wade Williams Distribution Presents: Rating: 18 The DevourerLand Diaries Rating: 9

SCP-4521 is a Douglas fir tree with abnormal shape and leaves.

*** Item #: SCP-4521 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4521 is to be kept in Site-551's Bioterrarium and only accessible by personnel with Level 2 clearance or higher. Additionally, attempts are to be made daily in an attempt to provoke vocalizations from SCP-4521. Description: SCP-4521 is a Douglas fir tree with abnormal shape and leaves. SCP-4521 was discovered within God's Silence, Oregon after reports of an "ear piercing silence" from within the tree's vicinity. Amnestics were administered, and SCP-4521 was transported by implanted Foundation agents to Site-551. Currently, SCP-4521's anomalous property is that it is incapable of screaming. No apparatuses are found on SCP-4521 that allow it to scream, and attempting to create one has been met with failure (see testing log). Attempts are being made to provoke screaming within SCP-4521. No memetic or cognitohazardous phenomena originate from or affect SCP-4521. Multiple attempts using several other anomalies have been made to detect any screaming, but no screaming was detected. Test Log: The following are attempts made by on-site personnel to eliminate SCP-4521's anomalous ability. Test 1: Carve a mouth on SCP-4521. Outcome: Several holes were placed upon SCP-4521 using a chainsaw. No screaming appears to emanate from these holes. Test 2: Use an extremely hot branding iron to imprint the word "SLAVE" onto the base of the tree. Outcome: No screaming detected. Brand disappeared within 2 days time. Test 3: Place multiple species of spiders upon SCP-4521's base. Outcome: No screaming detected. Approximately 30% continued to stay on the tree. 50% of the spiders that stayed burrowed further into the tree. No screaming was detected during this time. Test 4: Take a tree that is genetically similar/related to SCP-4521, and slowly destroy it in a close radius around it. Outcome: Tree successfully destroyed over the course of 28 hours. No screaming detected. Test 5: Take a tree that is genetically similar/related to SCP-4521, and [REDACTED]. Outcome: [REDACTED BY REQUEST OF ETHICS COMMITTEE]. No screaming detected. Test 6: Use a D-Class personnel under the effects of mnestics in the event that SCP-4521's screaming is antimemetic. Outcome: No screaming detected. Test 7: Attempt to communicate with SCP-4521. Outcome: See attached audio file. AUDIO FILE: FILE-4521 INTERVIEW [BEGIN LOG] Dr. Hanz: Uh… hello, SCP-4521. Can you hear me? Silence Dr. Hanz: Did you say something? Silence Dr. Hanz: Oh, that was my imagination. I'm sorry. Silence Dr. Hanz: Listen… do you want to talk? Do you have something on your mind? Just let it out. Silence Dr. Hanz: Come on, it's not healthy to bottle up, You can tell me, I'm friendly. Silence Dr. Hanz: D-do you not have a reason to… you know… Silence Dr. Hanz: I do hope those thoughts in your head are doing you well, but they need to be let out. This is for your own good, I promise. Don't worry about making too much noise, I don't mind. Silence Dr. Hanz: Can you hear me? Can you even hear me while you're trapped in your mind? Can you see me through the foggy, muddy waters that are your eyes? Silence Dr. Hanz: Come on, the deafening silence is killing me! If you don't want to speak, or at least scream, the tests will continue. It's only healthy. Silence Dr. Hanz: P-please! You're scaring me! Silence Dr. Hanz: Y-you know… when I was a kid, I… I assaulted a kid. I took a bike lock and crushed his skull in. It went on for 6 minutes before being stopped by one of his friends, who I also clocked in the head. I went down the street, and I saw this lady. She fell off her bike. It was the same bike I stole the bike lock from. Silence Dr. Hanz: I took that bike, cut it up into several small, tingly pieces, and fed her the bike, over the course of several hours. She just laid there with her broken leg, and her stomach eventually ruptured. The black ooze that dripped from her stomach indicated that someone might have called the cops, so I went home, and locked my room. Do you want to know what I did? Silence Dr. Hanz: I screamed. I opened my mouth and let out the largest roar that was trapped at the bottom of my lungs. All those wasted opportunities, all those memories, fading away as the calming ring of my torn voice box filled the room. And look where I ended up! I got a doctorate and I'm working for one of the best organizations on Earth. It's not too late! Silence Dr. Hanz: Or… you haven't felt that thrill yet, haven't you. Typical. Outcasts like you, born in some random remote part of Siberia, no other individual in sight. You're too weak to impress anyone, so you just stay by yourself. I see your game. Silence Dr. Hanz: But I can help you! You need to scream! Silence Dr. Hanz: You need to scream! You need to scream! You need to scream! Dr. Hanz proceeds to say the exact same phrase for 37 hours before being escorted out by onsite guards in order to prevent death by dehydration. After waking from a short 4 hour nap, Dr. Hanz exclaimed that he "didn't care anymore, they (SCP-4521) don't need to scream." [END LOG]

SCP-1678 is a full-scale mirror-image reconstruction of the British city of London, located exactly one kilometer underneath the original city of London.

*** Item #: SCP-1678 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1678 remains only partially contained. Mobile Task Forces Tau-4 and Epsilon-6 have succeeded in establishing a defensible perimeter around the Hyde Park district of SCP-1678, with cases of SCP-1678-A largely ceasing their attacks on the perimeter of the Foundation-held area. A long-term research base is currently under construction, and Mobile Task Force commanders are preparing an assault on the SCP-1678 Natural History Museum with the intent of capturing a forward command post to direct defense efforts. Current short-term aims involve the capture of, and extension of the defensible perimeter to, the SCP-1678 Natural History Museum, and to research and to ascertain the origins, construction, and weaknesses of the SCP-1678-A entities. Long-term aims involve efforts to halt, hinder, or control the production of the SCP-1678-A entities, and to assault the SCP-1678 Houses of Parliament, where the being, entity, or intelligence responsible for the creation of SCP-1678 is believed to reside, and to capture and contain the aforementioned being. Description: SCP-1678 is a full-scale mirror-image reconstruction of the British city of London, located exactly one kilometer underneath the original city of London. Currently, only the Hyde Park district of SCP-1678 has been explored, but all buildings, at least within the explored district, correlate exactly to their surface counterparts in terms of location, as well as the exterior size and shape, although rarely in terms of architecture, building material, and interior layout. The city has been constructed to resemble the city as it was in the Victorian era, with constructions designed to resemble traditional gas lighting prevalent on the streets and with all modern buildings in the original city of London being represented in a Victorian style of architecture, most notably the skyscrapers of the Business district. Illumination is infrequent and unreliable, and it is unknown how SCP-1678 has acquired a steady oxygen and gas supply. SCP-1678 is believed to have been constructed instantaneously by unknown means, with the SCP-1678 Houses of Parliament serving as the ‘epicenter’ for the construction process. This is evidenced by the fact that, as distance from the Houses of Parliament increase there is an exponentially increasing frequency of flaws in the construction of SCP-1678, such as houses built entirely out of copper pipes or other unconventional materials, ‘gas lights’ being little more than a metal rod topped with a floating orb of light, buildings containing no floors, and, at the furthest explored distance from the epicenter, no windows or doors. Aside from Foundation occupants and cases of SCP-1678-A, B and C, SCP-1678 is believed to be uninhabited. SCP-1678 is believed to have been constructed with the intent to harbor the survivors of an XK-class end-of-the-world event. This is evidenced by an audio recording that will activate and play upon any person entering the city. + SCP-1678 Audio Transcript (Entrance) - SCP-1678 Audio Transcript (Entrance) [My fellow citizen. If you are hearing this tape, then the world as we knew it has finished. The sky has broken, the ground heaves with the tramp of terrible feet, and all the horror and madness from the dark corners of the world has broken free to exact its vengeance on the world of Man. Those who sought to contain them are killed or scattered, and we soon learnt that to attempt to fight these creatures is almost invariably to face one’s death. Countless billions have been slaughtered in their attempt to sate their endless appetite for death, and there is nothing-was nothing- we could do to stop them. Evil has raised its bloody flag upon all nations of the world and crowed its unholy victory to the broken sky. Yes, this is the end. But there is a new hope. Welcome to UnLondon, a city of the survivors, a city of the free. Together, fellow citizen, we will wait and prepare for the new beginning, the grand new world that is soon to come. Let the world above burn. We will endure. Let the monsters have their world. We will prepare. And let the ground tremble with a new Armageddon, as evil consumes itself, for I tell you, citizen, upon the day of the ruination of Man, their insatiable appetites will turn them against one another in their endless lust for death. We will wait. And I tell you, citizen, that there will be a new morning. And you will emerge from UnLondon, and stand blinking in the sun, as our children play and laugh in the bones of horrors long dead. And you will walk, hand in hand, to the sea, our faces skywards, as the rising sun ushers in the new age of Man. And you will gather, citizen, at my feet as I summon UnLondon from its rest, and it shall burst, phoenix-like, from the ashes of the old. And on that day, citizen, there shall be a new order, as we raise the Union Flag over the entire world. I welcome you to UnLondon, the Last City. And the first.] + SCP-1678 Audio Transcripts (Misc) - SCP-1678 Audio Transcripts (Misc) The following message is relayed on the end of every hour: ‘The time is [TIME] o’clock. All is well.’ On approaching any bank or police station: ‘Citizen, you are entering a restricted area. Have your authorization papers ready. A Bobby will arrive to escort you shortly’ (WARNING: a single case of SCP-1678-A will be summoned) On being sighted by a case of SCP-1678-A. ‘Halt! Police!’ ‘Drop your weapons!’ ‘Come now, let’s be having you!’ ‘Police! Don’t run!’ Randomly, once per hour. The messages below are selected samples of the 1678 observed audio recordings. ‘No one is safe from the influence of memetic beings. Have yourself assessed today.’ ‘You could be possessed by a memetic horror and not even know it! Psyche assessments are free and easy-visit a clinic today.’ ‘Do you find light uncomfortable? Identifying a Cortex Worm's infection early makes them possible to remove. Speak to your doctor today.’ ‘Have you noticed anyone acting oddly? Tell a Bobby immediately.’ ‘Crime will not be tolerated in UnLondon. I warn you: the tormentors of society will become its defenders.’ ‘Evil can walk in human form and human flesh. Stay vigilant.’ ‘Are you frequently anxious or depressed? It could be a symptom of the Pattern Screamer’s influence- notify a Bobby immediately’ ‘Ensure you are well rehearsed in all breach protocols. There is no excuse for panic or confusion during drills.’ ‘Can’t make ends meet? Do not be ashamed. Bryson’s Home for the Poor is here to help.’ ‘I rule in the interests of the many, not the few. There are no special privileges.’ ‘Swelling and abnormal growths are an early sign of the Slaver Man’s possession. Report any abnormal sickness to your doctor immediately.’ ‘Each and every one of you is responsible for the safety of UnLondon and its citizens. Be watchful.’ Most explored buildings within SCP-1678 appear to have been outfitted for the purpose of extremely dense inhabitation with closely grouped steel bunk beds, a common feature in any building suitable for the purpose. Foundation researchers have advised that most explored buildings within SCP-1678 are unfit for human habitation, due to a high preponderance of mould, damp, and poor construction within these buildings. Some buildings are outfitted for other purposes, most notably the SCP-1678 version of the Natural History Museum, which is featuring an exhibit titled ‘The Fall of Man’ and contains representations of several known SCP entities, and images and artwork depicting apocalyptic settings. The key threat posed by SCP-1678 is by entities referred to in some SCP-1678 audio recordings as ‘Bobbies’ (‘Bobby’ is known to be a Victorian-era British slang term for ‘Policeman’), henceforth referred to as SCP-1678-A. These entities are constructed out of human corpses crudely dismembered at the head, wrists, knees and elbows and re-assembled using simple industrial hinges and screws. The head is always wrapped in bandages. They are dressed in a uniform similar to Victorian-era police and are extremely hostile towards Foundation personnel, attacking them on sight with improvised weapons. These attacks are always preceded by SCP-1678-A emitting a noise similar to that of a policeman’s whistle, and all loudspeakers within one hundred meters emitting the audio recording ‘‘Police! Halt, criminal!’’. Instances of SCP-1678-A are extremely resistant to damage, with only high-caliber rounds and explosive weapons proving sufficient to destroy them. They are believed to originate from a building named ‘Bryson’s Home for the Poor’, as evidenced by an inmate-style jumpsuit worn under the uniform. To what extent they interact with other SCP-1678 entities is unknown. + SCP-1678-B Overview - SCP-1678-B Overview SCP-1678-B Role: Surveillance. A.K.A: Eyes in the Sky. Cases of SCP-1678-B are bio-mechanical constructs which resemble that of a small avian life form. They are composed of a central mass of a red organic matter stitched together by a copper exoskeleton that resembles a spine and wing bones. The head has been demonstrated to be a small video camera and remnants of feathers and plastic on their exterior suggests they were once intended to resemble a pigeon. Cases of SCP-1678-B are known to possess no offensive or destructive capabilities, yet their ability to track Task Force movements should not be underestimated, as it is currently unknown if they are capable of communicating with, or summoning cases of, SCP-1678-A. Cases of SCP-1678-B are relatively simple to contain or destroy, yet their large numbers make their observation of Foundation activities extremely difficult to stop. Occasional posters throughout the Foundation-explored area allude to their existence. These posters display an image of a small pigeon observing criminal activity beneath the title ‘UnLondon’s Eyes in the Sky!’ alongside a small message to the effect that anyone destroying or vandalizing an ‘Eye in the Sky’ faces up to six weeks in the ██████ unit. + SCP-1678-C Overview - SCP-1678-C Overview SCP-1678-C Role: Unknown A.K.A: Wretch Cases of SCP-1678-C resemble a humanoid figure dressed in rags. They appear to be of old age and are usually, although not always, female. They have always been encountered outside the Foundation-held area. There have been very few direct encounters with the SCP-1678-C entities, and it is currently unknown how many cases exist or to what level of threat they pose to Foundation security or safety. Encounters typically feature cases of SCP-1678-C sitting on a street corner with a begging dish, whereupon they will attempt to attract the pity or mercy of any Foundation personnel within their proximity with pleading or begging for food or money. Supplying a case of SCP-1678-C with food will cause them to begin weeping before dematerializing with a burst of dense black smoke. Foundation personnel are currently under instruction to not interact with them. They are briefly alluded to in an SCP-1678 audio recording: ‘Do not pity the Wretch. Allow them to pay the price of their betrayal for all eternity. Remember, citizen: on the day UnLondon rises I shall reward the loyal, but traitors shall be forever damned.’ + SCP-1678-D Overview - SCP-1678-D Overview SCP-1678-D Role: Food Supply. A.K.A: ‘Dr. Goody’s Wonderfood!’ SCP-1678-D is believed to be the primary food source on offer in the event that SCP-1678 receives full-scale occupation. SCP-1678-D is freely and easily available from steel vending machines installed in virtually every building or structure outfitted for the purpose of habitation. The vending machines are upright steel pumps similar in size and shape to that of a modern petrol pump, containing a slot for the receiving of coins and a flexible rubber hose ending in a trigger-operated nozzle that will deploy half a liter of SCP-1678-D upon the appropriate payment. All vending machines display the legend ‘Dr. Goody’s WONDERFOOD!’ alongside an image of a smiling child enjoying a bowl of SCP-1678-D and text bubbles advising that SCP-1678-D costs ‘Just a farthing a bowl!’, that it ‘Contains all the nutrients you need!’ and ‘Completely restores health and vitality!’ It has proven to be extremely attractive to cases of SCP-1678-B, C, and an unknown species of colored mollusc which has been observed feeding on any spillages. SCP-1678-D is a synthetic starch gel heavily enriched with various minerals, vitamins, fats and bulking agents. In addition to this it contains several unknown molecular structures and various engineered DNA helixes carried within synthetic cellular structures. It has the same consistency and taste as porridge. As advertised, it contains all the nutrients necessary for short-term survival. However, Foundation researchers have advised that over a period of more than six weeks users of SCP-1678-D will become dangerously underweight due to low levels of fat and protein within SCP-1678-D and are at strong likelihood of contracting illnesses such as scurvy if survival is attempted by consuming SCP-1678-D alone. SCP-1678-D appears to be purposely engineered to manipulate the psyche of regular consumers. Through a mixture of unknown molecular compounds, regular consumers are more obedient to authority, are less likely to commit acts of violence, are less likely to engage in sexual intercourse, have a reduced capacity for fear or panic, and have consistently high morale. In addition, it also has engineered side effects such as depressive symptoms and headaches if a subject suddenly abandons consuming SCP-1678-D. Due to the difficulty of creating food within SCP-1678, SCP-1678-D would serve as the primary food source in the event of large-scale habitation. Foundation personnel are forbidden to consume SCP-1678-D, even in small amounts. Not all vending machines produce SCP-1678-D to the same quality with some machines deploying corrupted forms that have induced severe mental or physical abnormalities or death within the consumer. It is currently unclear what entity, being or intelligence is responsible for the creation and maintenance of SCP-1678. It is unclear as to what event or disaster SCP-1678 is being prepared for.

SCP-1841 is a well-worn soft cover book, titled 1001 Places To Be Before You Die.

*** Item #: SCP-1841 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1841 is to be contained in a standard containment locker, located in Site-77's anomalous documentation wing. Personnel assigned to study SCP-1841 are to study non-anomalous digital copies containing all known locations described and manifested by SCP-1841. During testing, only D-Class personnel are permitted to interact directly with SCP-1841. Description: SCP-1841 is a well-worn soft cover book, titled 1001 Places To Be Before You Die. It contains an indeterminate number of pages, and is 4cm thick. Copyright information listed within SCP-1841 claims it was published by the publisher "Periscope Publishing" in 1989. Investigation has shown that the name was registered in 1985; however, no books were ever published under the label and it is considered defunct. For the first 95 pages, SCP-1841 lists 95 separate popular tourist locations and describes the main attractions, in addition to recommending methods of transportation which are contemporary to the time period in which SCP-1841 was published. No anomalous properties have been reported originating from these initial entries. After 95 pages have been read, the subject will report additional locations and activities listed in SCP-1841 that are unique with each viewing. Locations described by SCP-1841 after page 95 will initially be locations the subject would not be able to afford or physically able to travel to, such as the tops of mountains or private property. As the subject continues reading, the difficulty of reaching the locations will increase dramatically, and written descriptions will be more sensationalized and positive. As of 09/18/1997, six defunct Foundation properties1 and 3 defunct buildings belonging to Foundation fronts have been reported, although no active facilities have been listed. When the subject passes page 1001, additional entries will manifest within SCP-1841. These new pages do not add to SCP-1841's mass, and will de-manifest after being turned over to view the next page. The descriptions for these locations appear to be directly aimed at the subject, and often list specific tasks to be completed by the subject while visiting it. Examples include: Location Description Task The Old House Dad's gone for a while now. Most of it's been tore down or taken by that Gillespie boy, but there's still the old pond. It's where they used to draw up rocks for the quarry, and the fresh-water. Go to the old pond, and reach out to the dragonfly outside, who will never fly by again. Maybe sit for a while. The tall place It's a forest somewhere. Remember, it was like what Mary wanted? You sat home, drawing those pictures for hours. Heck, you drew the characters from the super show in there. Maybe it's not going to be like that, but what the hell else do you have to lose? Travel to hear the call of every bird, the ones they showed you when you were young. Greenhouse 4 The windows are busted now, but it's still in one piece. Please be careful about the glass when you visit the old hiding spot, there's some loose shards there. Count the seeds in a pod. Maybe name them, so they don't grow up without anything to be called. Outside You can do it. It's been a long time, since you got to feel the dirt and mud in between the toes, but there is still an outside. If you've forgotten, now's the last time you'll be able to remember it. See all the shapes the clouds can make. Name the ones that they can't. Travis' place It took a long time, but he let it go. They all will, eventually. Hear the first steps of a friend's child. It's better than any forgiving word. Following exposure to SCP-1841, subjects have reported having vivid dreams and nightmares about traveling to the locations described within SCP-1841, and that waking occurred directly before arriving at their destination. Some subjects have reported a strong desire to visit these locations and may attempt to visit the locations and accomplish the tasks listed in SCP-1841. Whether or not the subjects achieve success, most have reported satisfaction with their own accomplishments. SCP-1841 was recovered from a retirement community in Jacksonville, FL, after employees reported its anomalous effect to local authorities. Investigation into its origin revealed it had been brought to the home by ████ ██████, a recently deceased elderly resident and book collector. Prior to his death, ████ ██████ had made 11 requests to visit his former home in ████████. Witnesses were treated with Class-C amnestics, and SCP-1841 was classified as Safe. Addendum: Writing found on the back cover of SCP-1841. There is a world of beauty and wonder that you can never see. Outside this room, there is a place with infinite potential for you to grow and explore. But you can never see. It was too late, from the moment you were born, there were things born alongside that can never be met or even known. Some nights, you can nearly make it there. Almost becoming real, it stretches before you as a colossal plane of what there can be. Then you wake up, and the only thing stretched before you is the bedsheets. But it's alright. Even if there's so much out there that you cannot see, what's been done was enough. There's never going to be enough time to see everything, but be happy with what you have. So what if you didn't see the world? There were family, friends, and an experience that's unique to you. That's what each of us have, what you took away from this whole uncaring thing. Even with everything you never saw, there's something that this amazing unknown will never see. Your experience. You finished what you had to do. Now, rest. Goodnight. Footnotes 1. Including two neutralized anomalies, SCP-1983 and SCP-1522.