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It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Grog Strongjaw, a goliath barbarian . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Pike tells Scanlan that while she does love him, she has feelings for someone else. She kisses his cheek and bids him goodnight. DM: Okay. You approach, you recognize them. They're the same two people that were watching you while you guys were resting directly after the battle with Kevdak in the center of the square, the two that were assigned to keep an eye on you. Player: Hello. What're your two names? DM: They look at each other. "Veskin. Mortar. What do you want?" Player: Funny, I feel like I've seen you about in the last few hours, watching us. DM: "Keeping an eye out." Player: Huh. Why? DM: "Because you killed our leader. Takes a while to see what strength is a man who's killed your leader. If he's a murderer. If he's an honor-bound man. Or if he's a piece of shit that you should wipe off your heels." Player: Hm. DM: "Takes a bit of watching to get that. Jury's still out." Player: Don't you have a new leader now? DM: They look at each other. "Maybe." Player: Would you like to walk with us? We're going for a little morning stroll. DM: "Nothing else to do." And they wipe a little bit of sleep from one of the corner of the eye. "Lead on." Player: And we head to the Margrave's house. DM: Okay.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Keyleth, a half-elf druid . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Grog goes into a rage and smashes the horror next to him with the warhammer. Scanlan approaches the nearby creature and casts Thunderwave to knock it back, but it easily shrugs off the attack and slashes Scanlan in retaliation as the other horror slashes at Grog, all the attacks hitting their intended targets. DM: So you take-- that's seven plus 11 points of slashing damage. (whoosh) As it goes to strike a second time, you see the second blow coming and just duck out of the way. That ends their go. Next up is Keyleth. Player: So there are two guys alive right now? DM: Correct, yes. Player: One's on Scanlan. DM: One's on Grog. The one on Grog is looking a little rough. The one near Scanlan's doing okay. Player: How's Cassandra looking next to me? DM: She's fine. There's no blood. There's nothing; the wound is gone entirely. But other than that, she looks fine. Player: Looks fine. Okay, I've got my Grasping Vine still up. I'm going to wrap it around the guy that's close to Scanlan and just yank him off of Scanlan. DM: Okay. This pulls him over Scanlan's form and slams him right next to Cassandra. Player: Okay, and then I will just go, oh! And pop him with my staff. DM: Go for it.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vax Vax'ildan, a half-elf rogue . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The frost worm bites Keyleth, who casts Blight as payback and heals herself. you asks Pike for healing, then hits the visible worm. DM: Nope. You detect no movement inside whatsoever. Dark windows over the course of the evening, no sign. Player: All right, well, I guess I'll go back to the keep. DM: Okay. Player: And I will sit up. No one's there? I'll sit up in my sister's room. DM: All right. Well, as you guys are walking back-- Player: Stealth, please. I'm not walking in the open. DM: All right, make a stealth check. Player: 27. DM: 27? All right. All of you that are out looking for him, make a perception check.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Scanlan Shorthalt, a gnome bard . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Percy walks up to the doors and tries to open them, but can't. Vax prepares to unlock it, but there isn't a lock; the doors are barred from the inside. DM: There appears to be something on the the altar in the distance, small and scattered about it, but from this distance, it's hard to make out the details. But you hear Vax muffled through the door. Player: All right, how big is this thing that's keeping the door shut? DM: It's about eight feet wide and about a foot-- eight feet long, about a foot wide and about six inches thick. A big old piece of wooden board. Player: A couple hundred pounds? DM: I would say it probably weighs about 40 or 50 pounds. Player: 40 or 50 pounds?! DM: It's wood. It's porous. Player: And how high off the ground? Could I touch it? DM: You could touch it. It gets to about your head, a little higher. Player: All right. I'm going to try and lift it off. DM: Go ahead a make a strength check. Athletics! Make this athletics. Player: Athletics? Hmm. Not good. 12! DM: (grunting) From this position, it's not even budging.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Keyleth, a half-elf druid . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Percy pulls his gun, fires, and hits. He takes a second shot but his gun jams. DM: All right, so you move up to there. Go ahead and do your full round of attacks. I am doing multi-attack. Okay, are you averting your gaze or not? Player: I'm a cave bear, I'm blind. I'm like a blind fish. I have darkvision and, like, cataracts. DM: Darkvision means you can see in the dark. But it doesn't mean that you don't see. (Sam laughs) Player: Well I'm a bear. DM: You are a bear. I'm eating at his leg. I'm not looking at his eyes. I'm not, like, waxing poetically at how sexy he is. No. Player: Not whispering sweet nothings in his ear. DM: I know. Player: I'm gnawing at his leg. DM: That's true.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Scanlan Shorthalt, a gnome bard . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Tiny Vax, thanks to a potion that does that. you managed to go ahead and put in an Immovable Rod within its stomach, which held it up for a moment, before it decided to truly gain the advantage it needed to escape the circumstance, allowed it to tear through its body, as well as an arrow that was shot by Vex, towards her brother, in the hopes of, I don't know, being a symbol of hope? DM: Yeah. If you were to use Cutting Words on this, it would reduce the damage all of you would take from it. Player: All right, I will use Cutting Words to reduce the damage. DM: What are your cutting words, Scanlan? Player: My cutting words are, "Your lower intestine smells like shit!" DM: Go ahead and roll your bardic inspiration die. Player: A ten? Shit roll. Three! DM: So 18 saving throw. What was yours?

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Pike Trickfoot, a gnome cleric . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Scanlan is no longer conscious as the bulette thrashes him around. you rushes to Scanlan, pulling herself over a ledge to get to him, and heals him. DM: That was the baseline. You run up, it takes all the strength you can feel, you're gonna be sore in the morning. All your muscles tense as you pull yourself up, with all the inertia from the run, your parkour up to the top, land, Scanlan's there, currently being flung around, you manage to reach up and grab him, and get in a brief tug of war with the bulette creature. Player: Hey, get away from him, man! DM: As you cast Cure Wounds. Go ahead and-- Player: So that's Mass Cure Wounds, so does that heal-- DM: Is it Mass Cure Wounds, or just doing Cure Wounds? Player: I'll just do Cure Wounds. DM: So at what level are you using?

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Taryon Darrington, a human artificer . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, A couple of hours later, the ship comes upon an unnatural-looking fog bank in the ocean. Adella tries to veer around it. DM: Yeah, that could climb up and get onto the edge of the ship, right next to Keyleth, who's currently concentrating. You see her eyes kinda glowing, and her hands glowing with this faint aqua-look as the water is now, immediately to the right of her, curling up and splashing over the bow of the ship, and just pouring into the ship below. Player: So cool. So cool. Okay, I just yell back to Doty, Get rid of the grappling hooks! I don't know, I have no idea what I'm doing. DM: Okay. Player: And then I see that the giant thing in front of me, right? Do I see the thing? DM: You do see it, yeah. It's currently bound by the series of thorny vines. Player: Great. I'll reach into my magic bag, and pull out a vial of acid and just throw it at the thing. DM: Okay. Go ahead and roll an attack. It is restrained, so you have advantage on the ranged attack roll.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Keyleth, a half-elf druid . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, They have been working on the ship and it is not a full ship, just pieces. It seems like an old keepsake that Vorugal has been bringing from lair to lair. DM: Just the top of the deck, and where the mast connects to the-- that portion is still frozen into the upper part of the throne. There is no entrance immediately visible, but you can break through some more ice or try to break through the actual deck to get there. Player: I cast a Flaming Sphere. DM: Okay. A flaming ball begins to roll on the bridge of the ship. Player: Where does it look like the most convenient entrance? With ice and stuff? DM: Maybe four feet away from where the ice begins. You can see there is one broken portion of the ship deck, maybe about a three-foot, four-foot hole that you could melt towards if you wanted to. Player: All right, I'm going to concentrate my Flaming Sphere on that and start melting it. DM: Okay. It's taking a while. About how long does the spell last, the Flaming Sphere?

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Caduceus Clay, a firbolg cleric . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, There are two vines, one around Nott and one trying to wrap up Jester. They prove to be difficult opponents, dealing significant amounts of physical and poison damage, and grappling and restraining their targets. DM: This looks to be a sister hatchery room to the one on the south. This one does not contain a body, but just other clusters of eggs. Player: Is it possible to tell if these eggs might hatch anytime soon, or are they that's left of them? DM: Make a nature check. Player: All right. Let's do that. My nature is terrible, which is ironic. But I rolled a natural 20, so that should do. DM: With what experience you have with seeing much smaller snakes and other type creatures in nature, you're not really fully understanding the gestation period of yuan-ti. These eggs don't look like they're ready to hatch in the next few days or so. There's still some time before the oldest clutches of-- Player: Is this true? Both look similar, both seem-- DM: Yeah, I'd say so.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Percival de Rolo, a human gunslinger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Vex and Grog check for tracks, but Grog discovers that there are a cluster of tracks from around seven people that are a day old at most that lead into the tunnel. Percy, Vax, and Keyleth suddenly notice a drop in temperature and, looking around, they notice in the darkness something that the half-elves had faced once before, in Vasselheim: ghosts. DM: All right. Percy, you're up first. You glance around, and you can see the two entities going (hiss) towards you, towards Keyleth, and you glance over your shoulder and see one drifting out of the distance towards Vax. Player: I yell, "Look out!" And I take several steps toward Vax. DM: To there? Player: Actually, on the other side of the pillar so I can actually see the one that's getting towards him. DM: There? Player: Yeah. DM: You won't be able to see this one, just those. This one actually will block your view to that one. These are about ten feet tall. These are the little sections here, so right now, you would be able to see these two here and barely see this one. It would have three-quarters cover. Which you ignore, with Sharpshooter. Player: I know. I want to back up into that corner, though, just to get away from them. DM: Over here? Player: Yeah. DM: Okay, so you can see one of them right now. Player: I'll take-- fuck. Yep, screw it. I'll take shots with the Pepperbox. DM: Okay. Player: I'll take my first shot. DM: Go for it. Player: That can't be right. Just checking. 20. Natural 20. DM: Okay.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vax Vax'ildan, a half-elf rogue . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The damage quickly reverts them out of their eel forms. The fight comes down to simply destroying as many of the tentacles as they can, hoping this will allow them to get away. DM: All right, you just rush to the side of her and begin hacking away at the tentacle. You watch as you're carving into it and it begins to break away. It doesn't fully-- Player: I've got one more attack, so I'll keep going then. DM: Okay, go for it. Player: All right. This is venom. That's 24, plus-- DM: That hits. Player: Okay, good, plus nothing. Where the hell do I keep putting my dice? Where's a four? Where's a fucking four? There it is, plus four is ten. I'll unload some poison in it, that's a DC 15. DM: Okay, it succeeds. Player: Okay. Is it halved then, or nothing, for the poison? DM: What does it say on the item?

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Scanlan Shorthalt, a gnome bard . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Some of them splintered off to try and acquire the goods that were taken from his store, however they apparently had already been stolen from the location they were being stored in, or been delivered already, they're uncertain as to what became of them. But they get the sense that it was probably best that they chose Gilmore over the gold, at first glance. DM: Pushing forward, deeper into the city, you make your way through the Temple District, and start pushing through Abdar's Promenade once again, retracing your steps from the day before, dodging through open areas as fast as possible to stay within the shadows. All of you go darting into one of the alleyways. As you turn behind you, you can see your tiny-legged gnomish bard friend, keeping up as best as he can before his foot hitting a divot on the ground and (slam) falling face first on the ground, making just enough noise-- Player: Sorry. Sorry. DM: You hear a little screech in the distance. (screech) And coming up on the rooftop, you can see, perched up there, appears to be one wyvern that is looking over down at the currently toppled gnome, and on top of the wyvern, you see something riding it. Something that is holding reins on the edge, something humanoid is glancing over, just a little enough of a shadow, to see. Player: He sees me? I see him? DM: He looks down at you, yeah. Player: Okay. I will cast Hold Person on him. DM: Okay.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Grog Strongjaw, a goliath barbarian . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, She tests the roots of the cursed tree for any illusory magic, but it is solid and real. you attempts to level up the Titanstone Knuckles by destroying the kitchen, much to Scanlan's consternation. DM: Yeah, where when it hits you you can use your reaction, but you used your reaction to get an attack of opportunity, so you still hit him. Player: Oh, that's true. DM: But essentially, they don't have to do that now. As long as they hit you, you can use your reaction to just hit them back. Player: Hit them back. DM: So yeah, as long as you stay within melee-- Player: As long as I'm within five feet. That count on his two hits against me? DM: I mean, you can only do it once, because you only get one reaction. Player: One time. Okay. DM: And you technically already hit him with that. Player: That's true. DM: Same thing, so you used your attack of opportunity, so you can do that whenever anybody hits you.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Caleb Widogast, a human wizard . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Caduceus, you, Jamedi, and Nott ran towards the stairs to the outside. Beau and Jester waited by the well for Fjord. DM: Currently, no. It's raised up and closed off, the front, when you opened the doorway to get deeper into the basement. Player: Can we see to the ceiling of this chamber? DM: Make a perception check. With you, disadvantage because you are human. Player: Eyes up. Make a perception, you said? DM: Yes. Player: 15. DM: You can see the pillar that holds the fountain at the top, and there are the stairs, still part of it, and you can see where it's up there, but whatever mechanism, rocks-- Player: Yeah, it's stuck up there, ja? DM: Mm-hmm.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vex Vex'ahlia, a half-elf ranger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Kynan, who has been appointed the captain, greets them. Vax reclaims his Serpent Belt from Kynan, saying he missed it. DM: I don't know. Well, now you get to get a wood that everyone on here is jealous of. If you go ahead and enter, the code word in the Twitch chat is 'family', so when you're prompted, go ahead and put 'family' and see if you can win. See you guys here in a few minutes. [break] Hello, everyone, and welcome back to Critical Role. First and foremost-- nice try, guys. First and foremost, we have our winner for the break. It is, and pardon me for butchering your chat handle, emiliaaldean. E-M-I-L-I-A-A-L-D-E-A-N. Emelialdean. Congratulations! You won your fantastic Wyrmwood card case. It will come to you, signed by the cast, for you to put things inside. Put things inside! Put many things inside. Now! Back into the game, guys. So, Pike. Having walked him back to the castle, we'll jump in for a moment as Vex, you've been leading JB. Player: I have! DM: She walks alongside you at a comfortable three-foot distance, but she's walking with you. Player: You know you can walk next to me? DM: "I am walking next to you." Player: Oh, I thought she was walking behind me. Is she walking next to me? DM: She's behind and to the side. Player: No, seriously. Come over here. I don't want to turn my head when I'm talking to you, dear. DM: "Right." She quickens her pace. You know, gnomish gait. Player: I walk slower. So this is my home. We just built it. Isn't it wonderful? DM: "It's beautiful." Player: Yes. DM: "What's it like having a home?" Player: Oh. I went a long time without one, as well. It feels wonderful to finally have someplace to settle down. DM: "That's very nice. We're always moving from place to place." Player: Yeah. Why is that? DM: "We can't afford to put stakes down anywhere, and it doesn't take long for people to figure out who we are." Player: What are you? DM: "Trickfoots?" Player: Well, yes. I know. I know that. But my experience with Trickfoots has always been pleasant. DM: "Let's just say that some of our family aren't the most subtle." She looks down and to the side and averts her gaze. "They're good people. They're very good people. Johann has done a lot for us, but he's more prideful than the rest of us. As soon as anyone starts any shit, he's the first to get in their face about it. He's a fiery one. It's why Astra took to him."

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Taryon Darrington, a human artificer . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, So, the trammels now complete, each glowing with the runes of each gifted deity power source -- we have one that glows yellow across its runic outside, one that has a sky blue, and one that emanates a black shadow from its runes, representing each deity that bequeathed an element of their power unto these trammels. You then decided to have Scanlan drop his Magnificent Mansion and decide where your next journey was. DM: All right, so as you finish the drink, you blink your eyes. I'm going to ask you, Scanlan, who do you see first? Player: Let's see here, what do we got, six people over here? DM: Well, you have two that have dove off to the side. Player: Oh, okay. Then I'll roll a d4. One, two-- oh wait, it's just three. It was a fucking four. Two! Okay, Keyleth. DM: No, Keyleth is being shielded right now. Player: Oh shit! Well, then it's just Vex or Percy? Or wait, are those two, too? DM: The other people in the room right now are Percival, Vex, or Grog.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Grog Strongjaw, a goliath barbarian . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, From the sidelines, Scanlan yells inspiration at you and Cutting Words at Kern. Keyleth attempts to heal you from a distance, but gets caught by a nearby Bastion. DM: (roars) Trinket roars with you. (roar) This roar of victory, which people around immediately take two steps away from the large bear that's suddenly roaring in the center. You guys are unfazed, too focused on each other. Player: I rush up and get him, give him a little nasty-- of the last time for a double thunderclap, to either side of his ears. DM: Oof, okay. Player: That is a 13. DM: 13. Unfortunately, as you go to swing, he (whoosh) ducks out of the way, and your hands slap into each other, finding no purchase on his head. Player: That's all right. Since I didn't find any purchase, I'll see where his ears are, try and grab them, and I'm going to attempt to rip his ears off of his head. His nice pointy ears. DM: Okay, so your second attack is going to be to try and grab his ears. Go for it. Player: 16. DM: 16, no. As you go up for the one ear, he parries it to the side with his hand. Player: (sighs) Third attack. 14. DM: 14. (whoosh) Knocks that one out of the way. As you're (whoosh, whoosh) swinging at him, he seems to just be dodging out of the way. He still has the force behind him, but whatever he's picked up now has completely thrown you off. You weren't prepared. You were prepared for a bruiser. You've now seen, still a bruiser, but with a little more refined technique, and it's throwing you off your game. You need to resettle yourself. You need to pull yourself in, Grog. However, in that moment of thinking, he swings at you with a double pummel up towards the torso. That is a natural 20. That is going to be a 13.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Caleb Widogast, a human wizard . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, You had discussed with them, last time, a plot - fixing their seemingly not-very-well-put-together plot into a better direction (thankfully) - to acquire a wax seal within the home of Lord Sutan, to create a letter that you feel would be incriminating. Then to infiltrate the High Richter's home, do the same, and then report them to the Lawmaster or whoever else you think would be of higher estate... DM: Wooo! Sydney football rules. Weird. But, you do see this individual is currently has a full arm bandaged, with blood soaked and dried on parts of it, and they are currently asleep, and the door is closed. There is a lantern inside that is set to keep the room warm. Player: Is there the ability for Frumpkin to move around to the exact opposite side of this building? DM: Yeah, have him move around, go around the front. Player: Yeah, he will jump up to any windowsill on the back of the house as well. DM: As Frumpkin keeps watch on each of these, each chamber seems to either be empty or there's somebody in some state of either rest, or waiting. You see one person, a younger girl maybe fifteen or sixteen years old, who is waiting on the edge of a bed, sitting quietly in a room by herself. Glancing around, she looks over and sees Frumpkin, and goes, "Kitty!" and makes the hand motion to try and pet-- You go around the back door and you can see one room has two beds that currently have two individuals that are coughing heavily. They're sick with something pretty bad, and there is a person inside that is dressed in a white robe that is in the process of bringing them both broth, but they have a mask over their face, a piece of cloth tied behind, and it looks like they're treating some diseased patients. This is, for all intents and purposes, an infirmary. Player: Yeah, did you say this was a one story building? DM: It's a one story building, but it's quite long. It goes back quite a bit. Other buildings are spotty and build the space around the outside of this block, whereas this infirmary stretches the entire length of the block. Player: Five to ten minutes of hopping from ground to window a bunch of times, all I find are patient rooms. No sort of office or anything else? DM: Correct, it looks like all-- It looks like it's built so that all the rooms that have sunlight are the rooms where the patients would stay. Anything important would be kept in the interior of the building. Player: One last thing, how high is the roof? DM: The roof is about, I'd say, 12 feet up.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Keyleth, a half-elf druid . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Within an hour, he is presented by Chef Varon with a salad made entirely of thinly sliced meats; Grog declares it the official meal of Whitestone and names it GoFiBePo. After discussing what has happened, considering where there may be more ziggurats across the continents, and what to do next, the group retire for the night. DM: He's actually eating out in the garden. He has one of the little tables set out there. It's a nice morning out in Whitestone right now. It's chilly, but the clouds have broken a bit. You can see some blue skies; a little bit of sun's breaking through. He's out there with Jecht, his associate, who's in the process of cutting his food for him while Eskil's sitting there, still looking through books and occasionally reaching over and plucking things from his plate to eat. As you approach him, he doesn't even look up. He goes, "Yes? What do you require?" Player: Good morning. DM: "Good morning to you, as well, I suppose." Player: Lovely weather today, isn't it? DM: "It is weather, yes." Player: So! How's the research on the Shadowfell going? DM: "It's done. I've researched it. I don't know what you require." Player: All of it. All of the research? DM: "As much as is in the tomes I have at my disposal, yes." Player: Anything we should know? Anything important? Fill us in a little bit? Spark Notes? DM: "It's a plane of negative energy, and elements of it are used to funnel the transition of souls from life to death or back. A number of it is scourged by undeath and those that skirt that process. It exists as a mirror plane, much like the Feywild. There are elements that resemble Exandria, but twisted, shifted. It is a very barren, very broken, dust-filled, dark-- not a very pleasant place, really."

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Grog Strongjaw, a goliath barbarian . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Vax then heads back to the tavern as you is asking about Sand-kheg's Hide and is disgusted with the process by which it is made. DM: Keeping a very close watch on the path you took and marking it mentally back to the Debt's Respite. It's probably a good mile off from where you guys were, if not a little further. You guys continue your conversation, go about your own business. Eventually, Vax returns with the information, the path of wherever this letter was dropped off to. Player: Just curious, have you ever had the Sandkheg Hide? DM: "Are you serious?" Player: Yeah. I'm just asking. DM: "No, I ain't drinking that bullshit." Player: Really? DM: "Yeah." Player: Too stiff for you? DM: "Too stiff for anyone! It's-- what?" Player: I mean, I hear only real bosses can drink that jazz. DM: "That's not a drink. That's probably squeezed from the arsehole of some sort of beast out in the desert. I prefer my stuff taken from berries and the sweet stuff." Player: What do you mean, some beast? Who'd make a drink out of some animal's whatever? DM: "Have you have some, have you tasted it?" Player: Yeah! DM: "Then I guess you know what an animal's bum tastes like, eh?" Player: (sputters) Hold on. You mean they squeeze the asshole of something out there? DM: "Oh, completely!" Player: No! DM: "They hold it down and just squeeze its abdomen and the whole sandkheg spews out into this little glass barrel and then you pay for it. Top dollar." Player: Yeah, it's 300 something gold! DM: "Oh, did you buy some?" Player: No. DM: Make an insight check. Player: Three. DM: You brain is filled with image of whatever creature your imagination has come up with being held down. Player: It's a giant, hairy water yak. DM: And it is squeezing some sort of yellowish liquid from its abdomen into a glass wine bottle, and you're now looking over at Percy and Keyleth who had just had sips of this earlier. It's not sitting well with your stomach. Player: We were gifted a bottle, and a couple of my friends had partook. DM: (cackles)

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Caduceus Clay, a firbolg cleric . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Jester purchases the Dust of Deliciousness, and manages to get 5 gp off because Pumat likes her. As Beau and Caleb leave the group, you and Jester continue on their shopping trip: Grace of the Wilds: you follows his nose to an herb shop in the Pentamarket. DM: "No, I'm Jesna Bree. But this is Grace of the Wilds, this is my shop. But welcome! Welcome. Welcome, welcome." Player: I'm still playing catch-up, one second. Hi! I was curious-- I was looking to maybe start learning how to make some healing potions of some kind-- DM: "For training? You want to train?" Player: Well, yeah. I mean, if that's possible. And also, I'm-- just some stuff for cooking. And otherwise I'm just looking for a nice general set of a few things. I've got a list here, just some food flavors as well. DM: "Of course, of course! Just give me your list, I'd like to see." Player: Oh, sure. This is actually my general-- DM: I know. I figured. "Oh. Ah. Okay, yeah!" And as she's talking to you, you watch as her other hand takes a piece of chalk and is writing on the wall behind her. "I'd be more than happy to help, and I can help! A lot of things I can help you with too, and I'm happy to!" And then, in kind of crappy handwriting underneath all the various prices of the herbs and things that are provided you now see 'training.' She's added it to her list of things that she does, as talking to you. Player: You're probably the person to ask if there's a good tea shop in town. I feel like you'd probably know where to get a nice caffeinated beverage. DM: "Oh! Oh, yes. Oh yes. Oh yes, I can help with the tea. The tea? I can help with. So, training! What do you want to train in? Please, tell me." Player: I've been hoping to learn how to make healing potions, actually, in general. Just start to kind of break in that, uh-- DM: "Okay, okay. Okay, that can be done. It may take some time. Little bit of time. Give me your time, we'll make it work."

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vax Vax'ildan, a half-elf rogue . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, They also found that a number of gold coins, a bit of his horde that had been buried, were now exposed by these strange smooth tunnels that were carved into the rock. Upon Vex , Scanlan, and Trinket inquiring there, the rest of the party scattered: Pike and Keyleth went to find what seemed to be the owner of the house, now frozen in fright in a far alcove; and the rest of the group traveling towards the mouth of the cavern itself. DM: And you feel the ground beneath you begin to shake, as it bursts out of the ground. That's a 20 to hit. Player: 20? Can I use Evasion or no? DM: To reduce the damage in half if you want. Huh? What's your AC? Player: Oh, with the boots on, 18. DM: It rolled a 20. Player: Yeah, I know. So tell me what happens. DM: So, as you look around you all of a sudden the jaws start coming up out of the ground behind you, the teeth biting into your body as you try and wrest yourself away from its grip. You take 20 points of piercing damage. Player: Oh, well, Uncanny Dodge. Right? Evasion is for spell effects-- DM: Right, Evasion does not help you in this circumstance, Uncanny Dodge allows you to reduce the damage by half. So yes, you can do that. So you take ten damage instead. I need you to make a dexterity saving throw. Player: That's okay. All right, so. Okay. Natural 20! DM: As the jaws attempt to clamp around you, you manage to just pull yourself away, tearing your knees across the teeth, but rolling in the opposite direction, right in the place where you were as it bursts out of the ground just beside you and rights itself around in that direction. As its full body emerges now, you can see its tail flop out of the tunnel it just made with this giant hooked stinger on the end as it whips off in your direction. That is going to be a 15 to hit.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Grog Strongjaw, a goliath barbarian . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The party completed the venture of taking the Horn of Orcus to a place of safety and sealing it away, hopefully for eternity, with the help of Lady Kima and two of the Scalebearers. After heading to the basement of the Platinum Sanctuary in the city of Vasselheim, they succeeded in doing so. DM: Okay, so as you reach up to try to get his eyes, he grasps your hands and instead begins pulling back on the wrists. You can feel the tension of the bone beginning to bend from the sheer strength and force of it. As you pull back your arms, you attempt to headbutt him again and he dodges his head out of the way, and he knows he has you at an advantageous position. What do you want the third attack to be? Player: He's still on top of me, isn't he? DM: Yeah. Where are you at hit point-wise, by the way? Player: 18. DM: He's looking pretty rough, too. So what do you want the third attack to be? Player: Would you say he's on my chest? DM: He's currently on your chest and waist area right now, like (grunts) holding you down. Player: I was going to grapple him, but if he's on my chest, I'll use my thighs to shove him up towards the upper part of my body and I'll drive down my elbow at the same time. Into that whole bloody target area. DM: Okay. As you shift upward, you bring your elbow forward. Roll for attack.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vax Vax'ildan, a half-elf rogue . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, There they are greeted by Keyleth's father, Korrin. A ceremony is held, the whole village gathering to celebrate beneath a huge tree in the center of town. DM: He's in the process of a conversation. And it's interesting. During this whole thing, he was excited to see you and that you've come, but he's also-- he's kept a strange distance from you during this preparation. He smiles, and you guys meet eyes occasionally, but he's also just focusing on this endeavor, and then you kind of come out of the blue. "Ah, yes, Vax'ildan." Player: Forgive me. Might I have just a moment? DM: "Quickly. We're about to begin, but yes." Player: I will be brief. I just wanted to take a moment to say, I really wish you could've seen some of the things she has done. I know you are proud of her. I've never met anyone like her. She's going to do your people very proud. I'm grateful. DM: "As are we all." Player: You've a lot to do. DM: "As do you. As does she." And he reaches out and pats you on the head and ruffles your hair a little bit. And even that feels a little awkward for him, like he felt impulsive to do it, and then 'oh, that wasn't very-- mm.'

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Scanlan Shorthalt, a gnome bard . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The spiraling tower of black iron and copper. He throws a square, metal icon. DM: Uten is like, "Okay, follow me. I will lead you." Even he is looking a little weird over at Senokir. Player: And when I cast Seeming, I also cast it on myself, making myself look like an azer? DM: An azer. The flaming beard dwarf. Player: Yeah, I don't know if I can make flames with Seeming. DM: We'll say for the purposes of the illusion you can pull off something that resembles flames enough to the point where it should pass. Player: All right, great. DM: All right, so, as you guys walk out into the city, you are lead by Uten on a similar path that led you by the Pyriculum where you met Whaska, but you continue past that in the northeast direction heading towards, as he tells you as you pass, near the naval grounds of the Sea of Fire. Beyond that, you guys find the streets become wider and the network of clusters of metal cages begin to adorn portions of the center street islands. Within these cages, you see humanoids of all walks of life, creatures, beasts; it's a collection, a veritable zoo of entities from all the planes, all bound to various cages, chains, and other elements, whereas efreeti individually bark from top in a language you don't understand. You see large banners and streamers set across elements of the road to mark various segments of this area, and at this point Uten turns to you and goes, "Well, you have officially reached The Arches. I will bid you adieu as I also will not want to deal with a pit fiend. Good luck."

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Mollymauk Tealeaf, a tiefling blood hunter . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Having learned all that they can about Fjord's odd incident, the party embarks on their second day of travel. DM: Pulls out the heavy crossbow and fires and does 11 points of damage, which is enough to shatter the skeletal gnoll witherling. As it falls to the ground and breaks into a scattered pile of bone bits and dried gnoll flesh. That ends the guards' turn. Molly, you're up. Player: I'm going to stab this thing that just fell right in front of me. Just going to stab it. DM: It is prone, so I believe you have advantage against it. Yep! With each attack. Player: Question about Rite of the Dawn, is it just plus three or is it just my wisdom or is it also a--? DM: Wisdom bonus is against undead creatures. Player: Okay, this is not an undead creature. DM: It is not. There are undead creatures among the pack, but there are none there. It's just straight Rite damage. Player: So it's just an extra 1d4. Okay, just checking. That's how that works. Okay, cool. See if I hit? Thank you. 13? DM: 13 unfortunately misses. The first strike-- Player: Oh my god. DM: As you swing down onto the ground, it scrambles about and pulls its shield up just in time. Your blade catches the edge, embeds itself an inch into its rear. Player: I hit it with the other one. DM: You use your one blade to push the shield off to the side as it's still there, and trying to jam downward. Go for it.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Grog Strongjaw, a goliath barbarian . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, you, seeing the Thunderlord paralyzed, grabs onto the Bloodaxe and yanks it out of his grip. you then slashes at Kevdak's left arm, intending to slice it off. DM: Five. Whoosh, you hack the blade and it sinks quite a bit into the arm right above the elbow, you can see as you pull it out, a bit of bone is exposed from it, but the arm is still intact. It wasn't enough damage to go through, but he's like, (stifled yell) Player: And it hit him, right? So is it an automatic critical because it hit? DM: Because you were within five feet, so, yes. So double the dice. So what'd you roll on the dice? Player: So it was a two. DM: So four. So instead it would be seven damage. Still not enough. But you do do a significant amount of damage to his left arm. His now-open hand's gripping nothing. Actually the one hand was holding the axe and the other one was pointing up, so he's like, (strained sound) looking at you right now as the blood begins to seep out of the fresh wound on his left arm. Player: Do I have any of my movement left, can I move around behind him? 50. DM: You can move three more spaces, so yeah. Player: I'll either flank him or, yeah. DM: Three. That's where you can get, right there. Okay. That ends your turn. Surprise back, Percy, you're up.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Pike Trickfoot, a gnome cleric . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Tiny Vax, thanks to a potion that does that. Scanlan managed to go ahead and put in an Immovable Rod within its stomach, which held it up for a moment, before it decided to truly gain the advantage it needed to escape the circumstance, allowed it to tear through its body, as well as an arrow that was shot by Vex, towards her brother, in the hopes of, I don't know, being a symbol of hope? DM: Okay. So you move over and leap up onto Grog's back, holding tightly. What's the trigger for your action that you're holding? Player: On his next attack on somebody. DM: The next time you sense the dragon is attacking somebody? Player: Yes. DM: All right. What action are you holding? Is it a spell? Player: Yes. DM: So you begin preparing the spell. You are now concentrating on it, as you're holding the back of Grog. Okay. Holding that bit, that brings us to Keyleth. What are you doing?

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Jester Lavorre, a tiefling cleric . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Trent says he would very much like to talk to her in the future. As he and Oremid leave, Caleb leans forward and looks at the ground. DM: Well kept, almost bouncy brunette hair, and golden eyes, and she smiles as you enter. "Hello, how might I help you this evening?" Player: Hi, do you remember me? I was here before. DM: "I do remember, yes. Good to see you." Player: You too. Did you know we just won in the Victory Pit? DM: "I did not. I did not attend that portion of the festival, but congratulations!" Player: Thank you, we're kind of famous now. DM: "That's wonderful." Player: We think we might stay here tonight, too, because we thought it would be nice for The Pillow Trove to have famous people staying here for you. DM: "But of course. Is that a room for each of you?"

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Grog Strongjaw, a goliath barbarian . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Suddenly, Aldor reacts from the back of the room, alarmed and ready to run in the event that she is present. Vanessa tells him that it is okay, Lyra is currently away helping her uncle, Randi. DM: He's going to use another ki point, a bonus action, as he goes into a defensive stance, a familiar one that you've seen before. Player: Before I whooped somebody's ass. DM: Yeah. But into this fully defensive, looking about and keeping his eyes aware of the entirety of his surroundings. And is going to stay right there. That brings us to Grog. Player: Piece of shit, I don't know what that stance is-- I chop at him some more with Craven Edge! I don't know, can I do one Great Weapon Master and the other two just regular? DM: Yeah. Player: Okay. I'm gonna do that. DM: Are you doing reckless attacks or not? Player: Yeah, reckless. DM: Okay. His patient defense gives you disadvantage on all attacks-- He just nullifies it, so you just have one roll per attack. Player: 16? DM: Misses. Just knocks the blade out with his own hand, you hear it (impact) off to the side. Player: 16. DM: This time he actually catches with the two sides of his hand and throws it back towards you.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Fjord, a half-orc warlock . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Caduceus, Caleb, Jamedi, and Nott ran towards the stairs to the outside. Beau and Jester waited by the well for you. DM: So nine. This burst of radiant energy inside-- (growling) There's bubbles that escape from its mouth. It's going to come forward and take two swipes at you, Fjord, with both of its serpent hands. Player: Okay. DM: All right. That is a 16 to hit. Player: Misses. DM: And a natural 20, but it has disadvantage because it's in water. That is still a 19 to hit. Player: That hits. DM: You do manage to take-- from one serpent, you just manage to glide out of the way in the middle of the water. The second one, that is four plus three, seven piercing damage, including ten points of poison damage. Player: Fuck, ten poison? DM: Yeah. Player: Is it diluted by the water? DM: Unfortunately, no, because it's straight from the fangs in your bloodstream. It surges pain in your chest. You also lose a bit of air instinctively from the pain. So, consider now, your air supply is halved. Player: Okay. Is that half my Constitution modifier? DM: Essentially, the DC is going higher when we start getting to that, depending on how long we're down here. Player: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! DM: That ends his go. Now it's the two broodguards.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Grog Strongjaw, a goliath barbarian . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, As they enter the cavern, they hear a skittering and two umber hulks drop from the ceiling. DM: --its mandibles to strike at Grog, it (clicks) looks off to you for a second, goes back, at which point Grog has put his axe up to its face and is holding it at bay. As its mandibles are tied in with its blades, and the handle of the axe is trying to hold it back. It strikes at you with its two claws, Grog. That is going to be a 27. Player: That hits. DM: And a 14. Player: Misses. DM: Okay, then from the one claw that gets you, you take six points of slashing damage. Player: Okay. DM: All right everyone, roll initiative. (group groans)

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vex Vex'ahlia, a half-elf ranger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Percival shoots Clarota in the head, releasing Scanlan, who had been grappled by the turncoat. As the remaining illithids take heavy damage, the two of them Plane Shift out of the room in self-preservation. DM: You know what? He is grappling and he is right in the way, I'll go ahead and give you advantage on that attack. Roll again. Player: Yes! So I just roll again? DM: Roll again. Take whatever it is. Player: 22! DM: 22 will hit, okay. Because it is a stationary position, completely engulfing, and you have such a great view from above. Player: Right? 11 points of damage? DM: Okay. Did you roll your Hunter's Mark damage? Player: No, I did not. DM: Don't forget Hunter's Mark.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Mollymauk Tealeaf, a tiefling blood hunter . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, With all the enemies handled, you douses the flames on the dead priest's head and calls Caleb out of his withdrawn state. The rest of the party searches the room for any valuables. DM: Outnumbered, and crossbow. As the pack lord approaches, cackling at the sight of you, you see a look of recognition on its eyes as it pulls back its longbow and is going to go ahead and fire immediately at-- Well, first I'm going to see-- It does see through the illusion, so it does not fire for the fake Jester; however, it does fire for you, the actual Jester. Player: I'm going to use Blood Maledict. DM: You currently do not have visual. Player: I do not have visual? DM: Not in your current position, nope. Player: Damn it. Fine. DM: So that's an attack on you with a longbow. That is going to be a 15.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Caleb Widogast, a human wizard . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, As you does this, he has to have complete concentration. As Frumpkin flies above the lake, he sees two islands within the lake. DM: As you concentrate, the bird's-eye view of Trostenwald-- Frumpkin carries up high into the air. For the large lake that it is, you can see two smaller land masses in the center of the lake. Technically not north from where you are now, since you're back in the city, it's more of a northeastern direction. They're both relatively small, one's maybe a few hundred feet across, another one is maybe 50 feet across. It's a smaller mass. Watching as it coasts downward and does a pass over the larger one, make a perception check for Frumpkin. Player: That is a six plus very little or nothing, so you can guesstimate. DM: There is a faint treeline on this island. The island has a few small trees, which is mainly what you had seen during the night when you looked out over the water, Beauregard. The land mass was actually the very top of this tree line. It's a small grove that has clustered there on the center of this island. Unable to make out any other details other than the tops of these trees and there's a few spots in between where you can see overgrown grass and general ground, rock. Player: This is the bigger one? DM: The bigger one, yeah. Make a perception check for the smaller one. Player: Worse. Five. DM: The other one has maybe five or six trees on it, but most of them appear to have either died or be standing alone on this small mass. That one looks pretty barren. Even with as bad of a look as that was, it doesn't look like there's anything visible on that land mass. Player: Does it look balder than the other? DM: It does. Player: Okay. DM: The larger one has much more of a cluster, a grove. Player: Last question, I can probably tell how far apart these two islands are, yeah? DM: Yeah, they're roughly 600 feet apart from each other.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Caleb Widogast, a human wizard . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The group began to see a light flickering on and off ahead. Fjord worried it could be Dashilla's lantern lure as described in the sea shanty. DM: Okay. You see this coral space around. It's massive; it's maybe 250, 300 feet across, and it's this dead chunk of coral reef in this vicinity that amassed around this central stone that rises up. There's a small crevasse on the side of it that goes down about 30 or so feet and you can see fish weaving through. Player: But I did see where this flashing source was? DM: Yeah, but it's occasional. Player: Occasional, okay. So it's not like there was a creature that Frumpkin and I were able to aim towards, it was just this thing that was appearing and disappearing? DM: Yeah, and maybe every now and then reorient the direction that Frumpkin was traveling. As you come to see this space, does Frumpkin continue to get closer? Player: Yeah. DM: Okay. Frumpkin moves around and it takes a while because Frumpkin isn't very good at perceiving right now.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Keyleth, a half-elf druid . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The damage quickly reverts them out of their eel forms. The fight comes down to simply destroying as many of the tentacles as they can, hoping this will allow them to get away. DM: Everything is still obscured in this black inky space, by the way. Oh, you guys missed that while you were away. The kraken did an ink jet and filled this entire 60-foot radius with ink. The whole area is drastically obscured. Player: Even though there's my Control Water current going outward? Which lasts for ten minutes! DM: Well, lasts for ten minutes while you're concentrating, did you maintain concentration-- Player: I haven't broke concentration-- DM: That's true-- Player: I saved for it. DM: Well, save right now. Player: I already saved for it while I was inside of him. I can save again. DM: Right, but you just took damage from the--

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vex Vex'ahlia, a half-elf ranger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, He also requests that the contract only be considered completed once Vox Machina is safely back on their home plane, but Ipkesh doesn't think that he should have to pay for their stupidity. The devil tells them that normally the jailers would confiscate their possessions upon their arrest, but Ipkesh can arrange for them to keep their items on their persons. DM: Okay. He seems honest. You get the sense here: he doesn't gain anything if you all fail. If you complete both sides of the contract and then he dies, he gets nothing. Player: Right. DM: So-- (weird Skype noises) If you were to escape-- Player: What was that? DM: If-- I dunno. Player: It was like an old woman was trying to talk to us! DM: But yes. So, you get the sense that the purpose of this contract is in hopes of eventual corruption.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Beauregard Lionett called Beau, a human monk . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The party continued in the direction Jester sensed the orb through Locate Object. Jester's spell fades. DM: All right, and then the claw attack. Ooh, that's going to be a 22 to hit. You suffer from the bite attack nine points of piercing damage. Player: Suffer me the little merrow. DM: Then the claws deal ten points of slashing damage. Player: All right. DM: It's going to attempt to move out of the way of each of you because it doesn't know any better. It has a swim speed of 40 feet, so it's going to attempt to pull back to get some range. You each technically get an attack of opportunity on it. Player: Pop pop. DM: It's hoping. Disadvantage on each attack.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vax Vax'ildan, a half-elf rogue . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Being the adventurers they are, they took it upon themselves to leap out into the forest of the Vesper Timberland, found and hunted down this hydra, fought it, and upon slaying it discovered that there was another group also hunting this hydra. An actually sanctioned group, and hunting this hydra is considered illegal in Vasselheim unless you had actually been contracted to do so. DM: The Bahamut section is far away. That's another section of the city. You are now on the line between the Duskmeadow and the Quad Roads, so it's Erathis and the Raven Queen. Player: I'm pulling a mask off the wall. This is a beautiful piece. Do you make them yourself? DM: "I do. I do, I make them myself by hand, hence the price." Player: They are quite beautiful. We're travelers here. I've never seen a neighborhood like this. Is there a festival going on here, or is this pretty much the basic fare of the day here? DM: "This is the localized festival of the city. If you've been around Vasselheim long enough you've seen there is little interest in celebration depending on some places. But, at least on this line, some people can appreciate the fleetness that is life and grasp it by the roots and make it its own before it's snuffed out." Player: Here particularly, there seems to be electricity in the air almost. It's very bustling. This is the norm around here? DM: "Consistently. That's why I come and bring my business here. I wouldn't do very well up north, I'll tell you that. All them dragon types--" Looks to you. "No offense. All them silver dragon lovers have an issue with things as celebratory." Player: And I pull out ten gold, and I spread them on her desk. DM: "How many masks?"

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Keyleth, a half-elf druid . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Judging by the weather, they have arrived somewhere in Exandria. As Vox Machina comes within range of the base of the tower, they are addressed by an omnipresent, directionless voice. DM: As far as the ray that you have, the eye perspective, you're hitting right there, so you're just out of range to get rid of the paralysis from Vex and off Vax. If you manage to break from this somehow and you rotate, the spell would have no effect while it's on them. Player: They're broken from it by being in his gaze? Am I in his gaze? DM: No, you are not. Player: So I can still cast spells. But if I move into his gaze, I cannot. DM: Correct. Or if you shoot something through the cone, it will dissipate. Player: If I shoot up at Vecna, will it go through the cone? DM: Yeah, probably. You're just outside of it. Player: I will not go through the cone? DM: Probably. You can angle it that way, yeah. Keyleth, what are you doing? Player: It is now my turn. DM: Also, I need you to make a concentration check.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Keyleth, a half-elf druid . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, It hits Utugash and Tova, knocking them both prone. The flames from the Wall of Fire are extinguished...before reigniting because the spell is still active. DM: So, the water (whoosh), and the wall of fire in that one section (sputtering, fire roaring back to life). Unfortunately, the enchantment continues to produce flames once the spell disseminates the water. The nature of the spell is it perpetually conjures fire. So, there is a brief moment where it causes a gap, and the flames pick up once more. He is knocked prone, he took damage. Player: Okay. I tried. Sorry, guys. DM: Are you going to move, or are you going to stay where you are, Keyleth? Player: I'm going to back up as-- Can I crawl? Do I have enough movement to crawl back through the window? DM: You do. Player: I'll do that. DM: So you go back there, and you can move right back, around-- Player: Yeah, I want to keep it, use it as like cover. DM: Okay. That ends Keyleth's turn. Tova. Grog.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Caduceus Clay, a firbolg cleric . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Vera reveals herself to be a formidable mage, causing an Ice Storm which slows Nott, you, and Yasha and casting Mass Suggestion on the Guards to arrest them. Fjord, seeing the tide turning, summons a demon onto the ship to distract the crew while rushing himself to the aid of Caleb. DM: You can probably all-- they do round you up. However, as soon as you begin to make any physical action towards spellcasting-- Player: It's all vocal. DM: It's only verbal? Player: It's only verbal. And I tell them. DM: You tell them you're going to cast a spell? Player: I'm going to be healing everybody. It's a thing that I-- DM: "No spellcasting." Player: (loud sigh) DM: "Don't want any funny stuff."

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Jester Lavorre, a tiefling cleric . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, They manage to intimidate and terrify both boys, who deny knowing anything about the theft but agree to investigate for them and scamper off. Their boss notes they had it coming and this may be the making of them. DM: With Rissa guiding you guys back, you manage to make your way outside of the main Idle Shelf area and in towards the cluster of the Silver Falls. As you approach, you can see the beautiful, very wide waterfall that cascades down about a thousand feet, across the mountainside, until eventually it falls into this large lake, where you can see columns of steam are rising up. The closer you get, you begin to realize that there is an element of this lake, this waterfall, and some sort of a steam engine-type mechanism built into the surrounding rock that they use to fuel probably the furnaces and elements of the technology within this city. As you begin to hit the residential area, you can see these large, somewhat crooked-looking towers that themselves are maybe what would be the equivalent of 1500- to 1000-square-foot apartments, but stacked four or five on top of each other, with spiraling stairs on the outside to go to each level. There aren't a lot of folks currently at home, other than stay-at-home dads or moms that are watching children, some folks that are putting out laundry on lines that are connecting between multiple towers and are dangling up two or three stories above the street. But they're all made of dark irons and blacker metals, so it gives the district this very weirdly-- what's the word I'm looking for? A whimsical Industrial Revolution feel. It's a unique mixture. Player: Dr. Seuss meets-- DM: Kind of. Or a hint of Howl's Moving Castle in places. There's also that spray of the waterfall hitting the lake behind, which gives occasionally this light misting of water through the air. You can see faint bits of rainbow that come through where the mist hits the sunlight as it makes its way across the waterfall spray. Player: You said the waterfall goes up a thousand feet. DM: Mm-hmm. Player: And the apartments don't go as high as that. DM: No, not at all. Player: So if I got in the middle of the area and cast Locate Object, it would do a really big radius. It would reach at least the top of the buildings. DM: Oh yeah, very much so.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vex Vex'ahlia, a half-elf ranger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, They stumbled upon a small hive of basilisks that surrounded an obelisk of Ioun, which gave them their first clue as to the location where this sphinx could be found. They battled the basilisks, destroyed their underground hive, or at least the exit from it, via Fireballs and Stone Walls and other such endeavors. DM: All right. You guys continue to head south, eventually following the path that you lead along with Keyleth's directional-- Player: I keep an eye out for any enemies along the way. DM: Indeed you do, make a perception check, being the scout person for this. Player: I'm going to do that with advantage because I'm in the woods. DM: You're in the forest, yeah, that is true. Player: 25. DM: 25. With that, you manage to skirt the outside of what appears to be another localized basilisk nest. You catch it early enough and guide the party around it to avoid that on your way. Player: Let's go this way and then circle back. DM: You eventually make your way to the outskirts of the forest, the trees begin to thin out, the snow begins to melt, the temperature begins to rise somewhat. It's still cold-ish, but it's less freezing.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vex Vex'ahlia, a half-elf ranger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, A breath of frost kills one of the giants before it is able to do much. Percy's engineering talent makes a showing, between a hand grenade and one of the exploding arrows he made for you. DM: Right now? No. You can see parts of the wings fluttering over, but you don't have a very good visual on it. Player: And he's pretty far away? DM: He's decent distance, yeah. Player: If I just try to (bowstring noise) up? DM: You can try to. It has three-quarters cover, so it gets a plus five to its armor class. Player: And I'm at disadvantage. Does it seem like if I cast something that would do mass damage, would the giant then not want to attack with us anymore? DM: That's a risk you'd have to take.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vax Vax'ildan, a half-elf rogue . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Keyleth also casts Healing Word on Desmond, bringing him back to consciousness. Grog swings at the entity with his Firebrand Warhammer, hitting all three times and doing heavy damage. DM: Okay. I will say you would normally get advantage. Because you're attacking it through the bars, melee, it disables it, so it's just a straight attack. You're having to fight it through prison bars with daggers, which is difficult. Player: All right. So the first one is terrible, it's a 14. DM: 14 misses, unfortunately. Player: And that's where the sneak attack damage is, right? DM: Well, it's the first attack you get on it would get it. So even if you miss the first attack, you can still get it with the second and third. Player: All right. Third one is a 21. DM: That does hit. Player: So there's the delivery system, and that is the Keen Dagger. 26, 27, 32. 38. DM: All right. With that, the first blade comes through and you try and get it through the bars and it gets nothing. You pull back, take the other dagger and swing through it. Falls too wide and you have to bring your arm back. This time, you can see after Grog has slammed it with the hammer, it falls. The sparkles come towards the edge. Its slamming its back into the bars. It's right there in front of you, and you use that instance to go ahead and reach through the bars, grab it by the throat, and stab it repeatedly, at which point its form disperses into wind around you.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Keyleth, a half-elf druid . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The frost worm bites you, who casts Blight as payback and heals herself. Vax asks Pike for healing, then hits the visible worm. DM: It's going to turn around. You can see now, its tail emerges, and it's going to arc up and try and bite and slam in your direction with both sides of its body at once. This tail does not have a stinger on it, but it is still a giant bludgeoning implement. First attack is going to be a 19 to hit? Player: Yeah. DM: Next one is going to be a 16 to hit. Player: No. DM: All right, so the tail slams on the ground next to you, estimating your position and failing and just hitting the rocks that you had slid down. However, it does bite down with its open, icy jaws. You take 17 points of piercing damage, as well as an additional six points of cold damage. Player: Bringing it to a total of 22? DM: 22, yeah.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Caleb Widogast, a human wizard . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Her smile shows two fanged canines. In a Zemnian accent she asks if they bring tidings from The Gentleman, and they confirm they are the help he sent. DM: "Intriguing. Very well." They go down. "(sighing) We and these Jagentoths have feuded for quite some time between these tribes. Many times it has come to bloodshed, but now with the Grudge Gang and the Taskers making open justice throughout the realm messy, we must take to other means. We cannot deliver our retribution with hands that can be traced back to us. As this affects both the Marduns and The Gentleman, he is wise to send you, and this kindness shall be repaid in person. The Jagentoths have slaughtered and stolen from us a major source of contraband and income. It's only fair we do the same in kind. We here of the Estate Sybaritic require you to cut one of the limbs of their business. Kill their best handymen. Hunt the Iron Shepherds." Player: One more time, please? DM: "Hunt the Iron Shepherds." Player: Your accent is thick. DM: "I have not been as far south as some of you, I can tell." Player: No, I appreciate hearing the old tongue again. DM: She says to you in Zemnian, "Well, stick around." (in Common) "Last I heard, they are still out on the road. They live at The Sour Nest, a small stronghold not far from here on the edge of North Clover to the eastern side. They have a number of hired hands that guard the locale. It's a difficult infiltration, but it's your best chance of catching them off guard. If you have other ideas, we are open to suggestions. Am I to believe that you have been sent," and her eyes fall over Nila, "as trained killers, able to deal with this?" Player: Some of us are trained killers for sure, and we have picked up help as we have seen fit. Everyone has been carefully selected, carefully vetted. I'm sure that with your input on their mannerisms and habits, their routines, we will do quite well. DM: "All right. Let us hope that the priest was not incorrect. Either way, I would like to see them taken down a peg. So do you accept this offer?"

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Nott the Brave, a goblin rogue . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Wohn rushes to the front door and spots you, but falls victim to her Hideous Laughter and is knocked prone, while Keg finishes the second guard ( Phil) and rushes over to attack Wohn. When Wohn shrugs off the Hideous Laughter, she retaliates on Keg, attacking her with Yasha's stolen Magicians's Judge, dispelling the Haste and stunning her. DM: A natural 19 on the dice. Going to move in here, this one is going to move in as well. They are probably going to move right there. They're both going to make attacks on Nott. Player: Sure. DM: The first one is going to be a 13 to hit. Player: Miss! DM: You duck out of the way. You see the short sword they pull spark across the stone, carving down the side. No impact. The other one uses that moment to try and swing at you. That's equally terrible! That's far worse, actually. That's a six. Player: Miss. DM: Both of them (whooshing), no effect, but they're both shouting back over their shoulders like, "Intruder! Company!" That finishes their go. Nila, you're up first.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Yasha Nydoorin, a half-angel barbarian . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Caleb grapples it with Earthen Grasp. It manages to clean the tar off the lens, and breaks Caleb's concentration on the grapple by pinning him against the wall with a blade through the chest. DM: 11, unfortunately, does not hit. Your blade scrapes across its armored exterior, not finding purchase in any of its innards. Player: Divine Fury, can you do it on the first or only if the first-- DM: The first attack that hits. Player: That first attack that hits. DM: Correct. Player: Can I use my extra attack? DM: Yeah, you get that every round. Player: That’s better. That’s 21. DM: 21 hits! Roll damage.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Caduceus Clay, a firbolg cleric . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Orly is a bagpiper, second mate, and navigator normally, currently between ships. He doesn't know Sabian, but he does know Marius LePual, who's been waiting for something to be delivered. DM: 21? Orly looks you straight with his one good eye, glances up and down. You get a good look. The leather eye patch itself has its own carving into it like it was wettened at one point and then shaved to have a very similar pattern as the curling wave tattoos that match his upper arms and you can now see the backs and sides of his neck. Looking through you for a moment, goes-- Player: Sipping my milk. Milk mustache. DM: "Let me tell you something. If what you say is true, it could very well be that you and your friends here might have a way of taking some of the weight off of M-M-Marius. I haven't seen him in some time, but I do know sometimes he hangs around the docks at night. Round m-m-midnight. Sometimes he's meeting folks in ships and selling things I can only imagine is illegal. Sometimes he's picking things up." Player: You wouldn't mind me asking for a brief description of him so we can identify him when we see him? That would be most advantageous. DM: "What you looking for skinny-ass little half-elf fellow. Sides of his head shaved real low. Tiny little fuzz." Player: Super cool. DM: "With a big old flop of blonde hair, hangs around in front of the face." Player: That's pretty cool. DM: "Other than that, he don't dress m-m-mighty rich or anything. Tends to stay out of sight, so maybe be best you keep a keen eye around the shadows, huh?" Player: Sure. I imagine he's probably a little jumpy of people if he owes money and that sort of thing. That can make someone very mistrusting. I would hate to invoke your name in front of him, but-- DM: "If all goes well and you end up doing him a solid, don't be afraid to tell him that Orly put you in the right direction, huh?" Player: Thanks, friend, that's great. DM: "If not, don't say a fucking word."

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Pike Trickfoot, a gnome cleric . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Many of the townsfolk gathered at that square were immediately killed. The party, as well as a few other straggling survivors, ran away as both the gargantuan black and green dragons began to chase them down. DM: Yeah, I'll let you know where you are at. You cast, let's see, you cast Heal once, which I believe was your 6th-level spell, and then you cast Mass Cure Wounds, so a 5th-level spell. So you've cast a 6th and a 5th. Player: One 6th and one 5th? DM: Correct. Player: Okay. All right, and then healthwise, where am I at? Went down 66? DM: Healthwise, you were down 66 and then you healed up, I don't remember the exact number. It was like 24. We'll go with 24. It's fine. Player: Okay guys, let's do a Mass Cure Wounds then at fourth level. DM: Okay. Which one is this? Are you casting Cure Wounds? Player: Yeah. DM: On who? Player: A Mass Cure Wounds, sorry. DM: Mass Cure Wounds is a 5th-level spell.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Beauregard Lionett called Beau, a human monk . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The crew had been waiting a number of days, the repairs had been completed on Bisaft Isle. You guys decided to call it an evening and rest up. DM: Well, you go ahead and ask. There's maybe four servers that are running around like crazy that are in the process of handing things out and taking stuff, but there is one individual you see, this woman in her late 50s, early 60s. Beautiful brown skin, big smile, a little heavyset, who seems to be looking over the place like she is the owner of this meadery. Looks over to you and, as your eyes meet, notices the look of, "I need help," and goes over and goes, "Hello, darling. How can I help you?" Player: I think he wanted to try some mead, I wanted to try some mead, and then we wanted to buy some mead. DM: "Well, I can help with any of these, of course." Player: Mm-hmm. DM: "What's your name?" Player: Beau. DM: "Beau. Well, a pleasure to meet you. I am Bentha Tamalos, and welcome to my meadery." Player: Benth-- can I call you Ben? DM: "Call me Bentha, please." Player: Bentha. Pleasure. DM: "Pleasure to meet you as well, darling. Well, how many bottles would you like? Do you want to have glasses separately or do you want to just buy bottles and serve yourselves?"

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Keyleth, a half-elf druid . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Grog's axe, however, takes a chunk out of it. The party continue to fight as the Trickfoots scatter and hide. DM: Okay. Five-foot radius. Yeah, so you can-- it basically encompasses the whole size of the creature. So you watch as, in the middle of the sky, the full moon that's partially almost at its zenith, you watch as almost a secondary moon appears next to it for a moment, and a single column of bright moonlight hits the ground. Player: Kinda harnessing the moon, you know? DM: Yeah. Player: Yeah, moon goddess shit? Yeah. DM: And it's illuminating the creature from the inside, and where the smoke is, you can now see there are portions of it that are burning on the inside, like there's small holes being dug through it as the beam continues to focus on it. Are you gonna-- you can still move the rest of your movement, or you can stay where you are. Player: I'll kind of shift towards the front of the column, so I have the column behind my back. DM: Right there? Player: Yeah. DM: Okay. You leap over some of the leftover sacks and offerings there and put your back against the column. All right, perfect. That brings us to the gnomes' turns. These guys, you watch as Johann and Astra just move behind the side of the rock. They're too entranced to look away, but you guys seem to have this handled, so they're watching from the side. You watch as Ogden begins to-- oh god!-- he hobbles back behind you, Taryon, and goes like, "Excuse me!" and pushes alongside you to move behind the rock here.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Scanlan Shorthalt, a gnome bard . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, He admits that he is a scoundrel, to which Kaylie retorts that he is a scoundrel who has no boundaries and leaves a wake of people hurt. She demands that he draw his blade. DM: "That's not true, but you've been doing it a bit, which is more than I expected, to be honest. So I appreciate that, I really do." Player: Not only that, we've, I don't know if word has reached you yet, but in Whitestone we're working towards establishing a Gilmore-themed library for the people with your name attached to it. DM: "Well." Player: Something respectable for a change! DM: "Oh, I don't know about that. I've still got to finish building my shop in Westruun, but when that is done, I'll be more than happy to look into it." Player: If you need any help, count on us. DM: "Whitestone. Whitestone. Hmm. Place has been kind of dour as of late."

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Percival de Rolo, a human gunslinger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Upon gaining consciousness, Grog drowns his sorrows in the familiar comforts of ale and whores. As Vox Machina are taking breakfast the next morning, they hear a horn blast signaling an attack on the city. DM: We'll find them. We've got carpets from you guys to use. We'll get that in just a second. It's fine. We've got to move. So Percy? Player: I have the carpet, I'm going to head towards that small-- DM: You have the laser pointer. Show me. Player: What is that? DM: That is a rock. Player: I'm going to move just to the other side of that. DM: Okay, you coast through here, unseen.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Taryon Darrington, a human artificer . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, With a high-level Hold Monster, he paralyzes Zahra, Kash, and both their mounts, sending them plummeting back over the side of the tower. As Vecna's wounds again begin to seal, he telekinetically raises the central platform of the broken tower. DM: 36, all righty. All right, he's going to use his third, or sorry, his final legendary action for this round to cast Firebolt at you, Scanlan. Player: I cannot protect against that. I have no Counterspell that reaches him. Right? DM: At this moment, no. That is an eight plus 16, that is a 24 to hit. Player: That hits. DM: All right. You suffer 23 points of fire damage. Player: Great. DM: All righty. So at the end of Vax's turn, that brings us to the 20 initiative count. At this point in time--

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Grog Strongjaw, a goliath barbarian . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, you then takes the first bead of divinity -- the one from Ioun-- smashes it on the Anvil, and folds the powdered remains into the first ingot. With aid from Keyleth and Scanlan in the form of spells and inspiration, he does the same with the bead from Pelor, but has trouble with the one from the Raven Queen. DM: Yeah, you're fine. So you maintain concentration on your form. Perfect. That finishes Keyleth's turn. Grog, what are you doing? Player: Yeah. It's hammer time. I'm going to run down here-- five, ten, 15-- right there, to this side. DM: Perfect, you can get up right against there. The elemental gets one swing at you as you go out of its range. That is a three plus seven. Ten. It hits your back and it's like, ooh. It's kind of cool. Player: And I'll take both of my attacks at the giant death-bringer. Just reckless, not great weapon master. Hoping for a crit, which was not it. 31. DM: Hits. Player: Great. That's better. 32. DM: Hits. These are both with the minus five? Player: No, not great weapon master. Just reckless. Six, 22 for the first one. DM: Okay.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vex Vex'ahlia, a half-elf ranger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The party leaves his office and looks for Foreman Herris to learn about what creatures they might encounter in the mines. Scanlan sings a song of rest:  Scanlan make you feel good. DM: Why not! Why split the party? So the the group makes their way over to the outskirts of the building. Opens up and a very nice, portly looking dwarf with a big tuft of a chinstrap beard. Big reddish, ruddy nose. Leather apron on. And he opens the door. "Aye, hello! Nice to meet you. What can I do for ye?" Player: Hi. You must be Hieris? DM: "I am, I am. Foreman of this here fine mine." Player: Wonderful to meet you. I've heard wonderful things about you. DM: "Oh, have you! From who?" Player: Uh, from Lord Greyspine himself. DM: "Really? Oh. All right. Well, how can I be of service?" Player: We were curious. I'm sure you witnessed all of those wonderful goblins and trolls and other nonsense coming out of the mine. DM: "Aye. Nasty lot. It always makes my weeks that much more interesting." Player: Weeks? So this has been happening for quite a while? DM: "Unfortunately, at least five or six." Player: And what kind of monsters have you been dealing with? DM: "Terrible kinds." He starts rubbing his chin for a little and goes, "We generally deal with the occasional goblin den we stumble across when opening new tunnels. That's part of the norm. Other nasty underground beasties. However, over this past few weeks, we've seen some real nightmarish things slither out of the shadows. Many goblins stitched together, like some kind of ball of screaming green lint."

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Caleb Widogast, a human wizard . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Yasha, furious, uses Necrotic Shroud and two large, skeletal black wings emerge from her shoulder blades, the tips of her hair turn black, and her eyes go jet black. Two wolves attack Jester, still trying to pull you out of danger. DM: Five points of damage. You strike past it. It keeps running, charges this direction. The ogre right now, being surrounded and watching the rest of its fellows run away, is backing up and looking, "Where Emmett?!" Oh yeah, thank you. He's blocked from my position. He is going to, seeing everything else fleeing, scatter as well. Just runs off the map. That finishes their go. Caleb, you're up. Player: Yeah, okay, I'm going to start muttering under my breath and stretch out two hands and send two Magic Missiles: one at the one that ran that way, and two at this one, and two at the one that ran that way. DM: Okay. You're casting it at level two? Player: I'm casting it at level two. DM: Yeah, so it's two missiles each. Go ahead and roll damage. 1d4 plus one per missile. Player: Okay, so the one that was near Nott is three and seven for that one. DM: He gets hit by both, continues to run. He's wounded, but still alive. Player: Verdammt. Two, three and seven for that one as well. DM: Seven for this one? The one that's running past Molly, both missiles hit it from two different sides, and his head pops open from both sides of the force damage hitting it. Its body runs for like three more steps before it (boom) onto the ground on its own. Player: I will just stay put. DM: Okay, finishing Caleb's go. Fjord, you're up. Molly, you're on deck.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Pike Trickfoot, a gnome cleric . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Just then, Tary's force bubble expires, and Ogden goes plummeting over the cliff. Vax dives after him and catches him. DM: "I don't care about the money, that's what they wanted. Honestly, I just used this as an excuse to get to see you again. It would have been fine if no one had found out anything. We would have been heroes. We would have had no reason to not be friends again. We would have saved you, as far as you know, from a terrible curse, and maybe that would have-- maybe then I would have been a hero to you. But I'm nothing. I'm a caretaker to a swindler and move around too much to make any real friends, so that's just my lot in life, I guess." Player: It doesn't have to be. DM: "That's all I know." Player: But you're very smart. I think there's more for you in this life than you know. DM: You can see now, she's just tears now, at this point. Player: I'm going to walk over to Johann and Astra. DM: Okay. Yeah, they've let the invisibility down at this point. They're both just entangled. "Oh! There's some sort of misunderstanding here. We were under the impression that there was a terrible curse." Player: "Money?" DM: "No! No! We-- Look. Look! Okay. Look, we have been following--"

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Beauregard Lionett called Beau, a human monk . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Some strange cold feelings felt earlier by Fjord 16 , Jester 17 , and Caleb were revealed to be Dashilla ensorcelling them and sneaking away before they noticed her. Dashilla may cause a creature she has ensorcelled to react to a false image. DM: No, it lasts until the beginning of the next combat round. Okay, she's going to go ahead and do a multi-attack with her claws against Beauregard because she's in melee. Player: Okay. DM: That's two strikes against you, these giant bladed, fingered claws. First one is-- that's a natural 14 plus seven. That's 21 to hit. Player: Yep. DM: The second one is a natural 16. Player: Yep. DM: All right, so you get hit from each. You take, from the first strike, 12 points of slashing damage. The second one, 14 points of slashing damage. In what already was clouded silt is now clouded further by your own blood from the slash marks across the front and the side of your neck and jaw, and the pain sears through. In an instant, all you see is the claws streaking through and the glowing yellow eyes before they rescind back into the cloud.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Scanlan Shorthalt, a gnome bard . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Some of them splintered off to try and acquire the goods that were taken from his store, however they apparently had already been stolen from the location they were being stored in, or been delivered already, they're uncertain as to what became of them. But they get the sense that it was probably best that they chose Gilmore over the gold, at first glance. DM: All right. So, Craven Edge, as you're holding it, all of a sudden the handle becomes white hot and you immediately take six points of fire damage just holding it. Player: Grip it harder! (groan) DM: Fire's biting through. Three attacks against you, Scanlan. Player: Oh, God. DM: Currently two of which are flanking you, so they're going to have advantage on the attacks. So that's a natural 20 on one of them. This guy is-- 18. That hits. And then this guy here without the advantage-- still hits with a 17. Player: I'm going to use Cutting Words on the last guy. DM: Okay. Player: I'm going to just-- (plays flute badly) to distract him. DM: Okay, go ahead and roll a d10. Player: d10. Which one's ten, I never remember. This one. Nine! DM: Okay! So he rolled a 17 plus seven, that would've been a 24, that brings him to 15, which I believe misses you. So the last strike, as he swings towards you, the shrilling tones, it causes him to reach up and grab one of his lizard-like ear holes and (snarling) the swing goes wildly over your head. However, as you duck down, you look up as you see the shadow come down of two large clubs that (boom boom) over the head of your tiny gnomish form. That's going to be-- (groans) Player: Oh, that's not a good sound. DM: Oh, and they also get bites after this, too. All right, so you take 12, which would double to 24-- Oh, no, sorry, 12-- 20 points of bludgeoning damage from one. You take 12 points of damage from the other. So 32 points of damage total. And they're both going to attempt to bite you as well, with advantage. Player: A bite with advantage! DM: That is a 20 on the first one. Player: That's the damage it does? DM: That's to hit. And that one's going to -- double 19, so they both hit. So you take another 20 points of damage total of piercing damage as they both start tearing into your body.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Mollymauk Tealeaf, a tiefling blood hunter . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, They continue to attack both gators. Yasha is held in the jaws of one, and Nott by the other. DM: Okay. Moving on. That's fine. It's okay. It's still a fair amount of damage. Molly, what are you doing? Player: With my running speed, how close can I get and still have an action? DM: That's it. Player: That's as far as I can get without an action? DM: Unfortunately, you guys are running through a swamp behind who engaged it, so it's an unfortunate circumstance. Player: At the very least, then, I'm going to-- DM: Fortune favors the bold in this case.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Grog Strongjaw, a goliath barbarian . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Vax pulls Scanlan aside and pitches him a backup plan. He wants to have Scanlan Dimension Door into Umbrasyl's stomach and use the unmovable rod to hurt him from inside. DM: All right, you make your way to the Iron Stocks. And it is currently unguarded, there is nobody there, the Herd has lost interest in it, the door's partially ajar, and as you walk inside you can already smell the place just reeks of refuse and decay. It looks like everything left in the middle of a workday. There are still ledgers open on the front desk, you can see what looks to be a small group of-- a barracks-type scenario to the left of the entrance that is just completely abandoned and looks like some cases are left open, scattering various keepsakes and bottles that are shattered on the ground, a lot of people left either to go into battle to defend against the dragon, to lose their life in it, or just to get the hell out of Dodge. Player: Can I walk up to the ledger and pretend to read it? DM: Yeah. You pick it up and leaf through for a few pages, lotta great squiggles. Player: Yep. DM: Some pretty handwriting, you can tell-- Player: Any squiggles that look familiar? DM: Um, no. No, none that-- I mean, some look familiar, some are more rounded-- Player: Oh, this poor bastard right here, yep, I remember him, good chap. Hello? Is anyone in here? DM: There's a slight pause. Then you hear a voice echo from the right side of the room, down a hall just through the stone, you can barely make it out because the distance it's at, because you're hearing the echo protrude from quite a distance, but a voice just says, "Hey! Hey! In here! Need food please!" Player: Oh, shit. So I go in that direction. Open the door and try and make my way that way. DM: You charge down the hallway and there are a number of cells that are immediately here. Some of them are open and abandoned entirely, there are a few that you look off to the side, looks like a few individuals just passed away inside the cell. You come to a set of stairs that leads down into the next subterranean region and you hear the voice again, much closer, be like, "Hey! Hey! I hear your footsteps!" And you see a hand reaching out from behind some of the bars. Player: Put your hand back inside. DM: The hand retracts as you look over. Player: That's a good lad. What's your name? Before I approach. Still far enough away. DM: "Ah. Orn. Orn Finch at your service. Been in here far too long and very thirsty. I will be happily at your service, fair muscled man, should you see fit to relinquish me from these binds." And you look at him, he looks like a lowly beggar, longish tattered hair, wearing just general tattered and soiled clothing, no shoes, feet look blistered and black. Player: Ugh. I'm going to call you Orn Blackfoot. DM: "Blackfoot it is, Orn Blackfoot at your service, if you could just--" Player: My name is Lord Grog. DM: "Lord. It is my pleasure." And he reaches through and grasps your hand, his fingers are bony and thin, and he takes it and shakes it with what little strength he has. Player: Man, you are looking a little rispy-- Pour out a little ale into a goblet, and I give him a goblet of ale. DM: He snatches it from you and slurps into it, extremely thirsty. Player: Ah-ah, not too fast, not too fast, don't want to get the bubbles. And I reach into the Bag of Holding and I have a dry food ration. I have three left. Now I have two. And I give him some dried food ration. DM: He takes it and eagerly starts jamming it into his mouth. As he's eating, he's not even talking at you, this is just sheer hunger, the need to survive has taken over and he's just cramming it in there, choking a couple of times, keeping himself okay. Player: Pace yourself, lad. Tell me, why are you in here, Orn Blackfoot? DM: "Ah, well, this is-- everyone just started yelling and they abandoned us all here. It's been terrible hearing the moans and screams going silent. I thought they abandoned us all." Player: No, they did, to be clear. They totally abandoned you. You are really the only person I know of that's in here. All the other mates around you, they're either sleeping or, you know. DM: "I appreciate the food and drink, you've certainly done--" At which point a voice comes from about two cells over behind you that goes-- "Did I hear food and drink?" Player: Fuck. DM: "Food-- food and drink, please. Please."

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Fjord, a half-orc warlock . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The party were able to ride the flooding water safely away from the temple, but were noticed by about twenty yuan-ti. DM: That's one-- that's two successes on that one! We'll add to that. So keeping a close eye, Caleb is darting ahead, into the jungle, shouting out various issues. Jamedi is trying to keep up with you but behind is also helping you keep an eye and shouting out traps that he had helped you bypass before and making sure you guys don't fall off the path that you had made your way through that he had set on his map beforehand that had avoided the bigger dangers in the jungle. Between the two of you, you manage to get a fair bit in there, and the sound of the chasing yuan-ti does not seem to be getting louder, which is good. That's one, who does the next offer? Player: I was going to say Yasha can take out the Magician's Judge and start cleaving machete-style through the brush, making it far easier for us to move. DM: Okay, Yasha going to push at the front, which, with a higher speed than you, she can definitely do, and begin to carve through swarths of the jungle to make it an easier passage. For her, make an athletics check, please. Player: Advantage or straight up? DM: Straight up, unless she's raging. Player: Oh, she's rage-clearing! DM: Okay, I'll allow that for this. Player: 21-- 22. DM: That's a success. Yasha's now ahead of the group, she's carving through, you can see there are bits when you come up to the front, where there is just dense clusters of tangled vines where the path you are taking-- Caleb stops you at the front, because you deviated a little from the path where you were because you were running too fast. At this point, you're not used to this level of acceleration for an extended period of time. Right at the end of your Expeditious Retreat, right as the spell is about to fade, you come to that group of vines. At that point you're about to spin and warn everybody, and all you see is this blur of Yasha carve through them. They all fall to the ground, the path before you is open, she goes "Go!" All of you just keep running in that direction. Yasha's continuing that, who's taking the next bit?

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vex Vex'ahlia, a half-elf ranger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, First, you checks in with Percy to see if he can identify the pond she saw in her vision; he gives her a map and some suggestions. With a good idea now of where to go, you rides Trinket into the forest toward the Alabaster Sierras. DM: 22. You make your way and you find the pond, and you recognize it exactly the moment you get there. This is exactly the pond in your vision. Player: This is where it was! DM: You glance over and start finding your way around the edge, and eventually you find the thick, heavy footfalls right beneath the water. He leapt straight out of the water so there were no tracks directly out of it, but you look just beneath the surface. Player: I remember him jumping into the trees! DM: Yes, you look up and you can see a few branches are broken, and you begin to trace the direction of where it went. Player: I cast Pass Without a Trace on myself, and I'm going to stealth after him. DM: Okay. All right, go ahead and roll a stealth check. Are you still on Trinket for this? Player: I'm going to put him in the locket for the time being. DM: Trinket goes into the necklace. Go ahead and roll stealth with your Pass Without a Trace bonus. Player: Oh, right! 33. DM: 33, okay. Very quietly, you dart up into the trees and begin leaping from broken branch to broken branch. Eventually it leads you into a small opening between a series-- the trees here are truly thick, but there's certain areas where they begin to separate a bit, and you can see heavy impacts where it leapt down and found some soft ground and begins running. And you can see the tracks, and you take a moment and study these tracks, and you can see exactly how these thick three-toed feet of the creature dig into the dirt, and you take a very, very close watch on them. I need you to go ahead and make another wisdom survival check to see where those footfalls will take you. Player: So again, a 24. Oh wait, 22. DM: 22, okay. So you begin darting through, and you notice there are points where it leaps into the trees and vanishes. The trail stops, but you can follow brief bits. But this creature's heavy, you can see it doesn't leap into the boughs and hang on a branch, it leaps up onto an actual tree trunk and then leaps off the trunk, and where it does, the bark splinters and breaks. Whatever this is, it's extremely dense. It's extremely heavy. And to have the power and strength to lift its form on that thickness means it has some power behind it. Continuing to keep tabs, you're darting through the dark woods. Out of the right of you, you hear a sudden noise, and you are surprised, as a series of birds come fluttering past you, apparently startled from something nearby, and you watch as a forest elk darts past and is a sign of-- you know, naturally in this environment-- of relatively recent movement. And you get the sense that you might be gaining on this creature, whatever it's charging. Player: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. DM: So as you're leaping and running and making the best possible path you can, eventually, the trail begins to grow a little cold, and you find a small glade-- Player: A small poo. DM: Yeah, I know. About 30 feet across. The trees open and there's this space and it's pristine, untouched. The trail ends entirely.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Nott the Brave, a goblin rogue . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Caleb grapples it with Earthen Grasp. It manages to clean the tar off the lens, and breaks Caleb's concentration on the grapple by pinning him against the wall with a blade through the chest. DM: It does roll past here, stopping at this point. It’d be about here, I think. As it spins in this direction, the things that drew its attention originally, which is Beau and Nott in that corner. Nott, you do get an attack of opportunity with a melee weapon, if you have one, but you have your crossbow out? Player: I probably have my crossbow out. DM: So yeah, you don’t do much of an attack there. Player: I’ll hit it with my crossbow. DM: Roll an attack. Improvised weapon for a melee. Player: Yeah. 18. DM: 18 just hits.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Yasha Nydoorin, a half-angel barbarian . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Since this is a recruiting tool, Wastiker approaches them about joining the Righteous Brand for a gold a day pay, but is turned down. you is approached by Darrow, the leader of the mercenary band called the Stubborn Stock out of the Menagerie Coast. DM: "All right, pleasure to meet you. Well, I am the de facto leader of a mercenary band known as the Stubborn Stock. We're out of Guar on the Menagerie Coast, but we've been hired for about a seven month stint so far by the Empire and it's been paying pretty well. We've had some pretty good scenarios here. The retainer's been nice and honestly, it's not bad to be paid to sit around in case they need us." Player: What kind of work? It's just going out and killing things? DM: "Well, when they need us. To kill things, to hunt things down. There's a lot of business that they can't bring the military to and the Crownsguard stay in the cities so they send us out and about. That's only if they need us." Player: It's no contract? You can come and go as you please if you like? DM: "Well, it's contract. You have to be there for their disposal. We're stationed up in Nogvurot and have been for the length of this contract, but we were able to come down for this celebration and it's been not too bad. It's good wage, sit around, occasionally hunt down some criminal Xhorhasian terror that's come down from the mountains. It's a pretty decent living if I say so myself and you look like a very capable soldier if I say, again." Player: Yeah. Yeah, you can say so. DM: "Sure. Would you be interested?" Player: Maybe. I don't know. Do you have like a pamphlet or something? DM: "We have no pamphlet. My band of esteemed warriors are planning to be in the Victory Pit later this afternoon."

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Grog Strongjaw, a goliath barbarian . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, There they are greeted by Keyleth's father, Korrin. A ceremony is held, the whole village gathering to celebrate beneath a huge tree in the center of town. DM: "C'mon, c'mon kids." And takes them by the hand and they all drag the kids off as you guys wait in the outskirts of the city. One of the kids who didn't quite get a hand on this young three-year-old boy who's running behind them stops. Turns and stares at you all, but stares specifically at Grog and is just wide-eyed, going-- Player: Hey. DM: "Hi." Player: Eat your vegetables, you'll look like this. DM: "Okay." Player: Now get out of here! DM: (yells) (all laugh) Just immediately bolts past to catch up with the rest of the crowd.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Beauregard Lionett called Beau, a human monk . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The party, including Avantika and Jamedi confronts three unhappy-looking yuan-ti (pureblood priestesses), and one taller gray figure with a large hooded snake head (a yuan-ti mind whisperer). DM: Resists it, unfortunately. There's a (impact) as you hit. You realize as you're trying to do Stunning Strike, you don't fully understand the physicality of it. Its body and organ placement is different from the usual, other human-type creatures you've studied, and so you're just unable to hit the right point in its body. Player: Okay. Hit it again. That was such bullshit. 11. DM: In your confusion and frustration of not being able to find the soft spot in its body, your second strike goes and it manages to dodge out of the way. No impact. Player: I just look at it and I just go I don't feel very good. Then I'm going to do Patient Defense. DM: All right, so then you go in Patient Defense to protect yourself. Got it. Player: I'm a little nauseous. DM: That is now Yasha's turn. Before Yasha can begin the round, Caduceus?

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Scanlan Shorthalt, a gnome bard . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Vax hops up and bravely runs away, away. Tiberius misses a Counterspell as Delilah Briarwood deals him 21 points of psychic damage and drop his Intelligence and Charisma to 1, reducing him to instinctual responses and disabling his flying. DM: For hitting you. All right. And now he's going to make an athletics check to attempt to grapple you. That is going to be a 13. Player: As I see this going on, can I call out with Cutting Words to distract him? DM: You could, yes. Player: Okay. (singing) Distraction, distraction! Distraction! Distraction, distraction! DM: Go ahead and roll a d10. Player: What do I roll? DM: d10. And subtract that from his attack modifier. Player: Six. DM: Okay. With that, as he reaches down in an attempt to grapple you and grab you by the throat, the fingers are coming towards you and you try and attempt to roll out of the way. All of sudden, you hear, "Distraction!" and Lord Briarwood's, (annoyed sigh). You see his massive eyeroll and then goes in for the attack, but that's given you enough time to roll out of the way his hand only meets the ground. He's then going to step back and get adjacent to Lady Briarwood. That ends his turn. Keyleth, you're up.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Percival de Rolo, a human gunslinger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Percy takes some shots at Ripley and manages to knock her over. Grog attacks one of the gunslingers. DM: Actually, because she's on the ground it's at disadvantage. Any ranged attacks against prone people. Player: Even with Sharpshooter? Even with standard Sharpshooter bonus of ignore three-quarter cover? DM: It's not so much cover, it's more the fact that they're a smaller target to hit because they're closer to the ground. Player: So the full range Sharpshooter ignore three-quarter cover would not cancel that out? DM: It's not cover that gives her the bonus. Player: The whole theory being that it's easier to hit smaller targets. DM: Right, it affects cover, it doesn't affect her being a smaller target in general to hit. It's the way the rule works. Player: That's okay. She's down. What am I going to do? I'm not even going to pretend. I'll burn a point of grit to also ignore that. DM: Okay, there you go. It's a straight attack roll. Player: That's probably not going to hit. Let's see. 14. DM: 14 does not hit. It scoots past her and slams into the tree behind her. You see the splintering of petrified bark. Player: I throw my gun behind on my shoulder, and I'm going to head to my right to try to get some cover with that tree. DM: Around Keyleth?

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Nott the Brave, a goblin rogue . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Yasha has a tinder box, so you uses Mage Hand to hold the dynamite, Yasha lights it, and you and Jester (who has cast Pass Without a Trace and needs to be within 30 feet) sneak up and move it into the house. After a tense pause, it explodes, blowing apart the tree and knocking the troll prone, and allowing the party a surprise round. DM: Each Magic Missile, the spray is still jumping off of its body in these very proximity-based sprays of terrible toxin. So yeah, it's still happening. Player: Can I scoot back behind that tree to the west? DM: Are you only making the one attack? Player: I'll make another one when I get over there. DM: Over here? Player: Can I go farther around? Just as far around as I can-- yeah. DM: As you're rushing past. Player: That one hits. 19 plus something. This is not a sneak attack, though. DM: Correct. Player: Well, poo. Six points of damage. DM: Six points of damage to it. As the bolt sticks in the back, you watch as one of its bulbous pustules sprays venom behind it, impacting nothing in its proximity.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Keyleth, a half-elf druid . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Hotis then attempts to flee but is held back by Tiberius. As the team assault him, a suit of armor animates and comes to his aid, hitting them all with a stored Fireball. DM: You guys watch as Keyleth now angrily morphs into this large, white saber-toothed tiger that roars on the ground where she once was. You can move, still, if you wish. Player: I'm going for rakshasa, so I'm going to head this way. DM: You have a speed of 40, I think? Player: Speed is 40. DM: So you can get right up next to it. Yep. So you run around the side of the giant statue and right up in the face of Hotis, personally. Player: Yeah, that's fine. Bring it. DM: End of Keyleth's turn. Tiberius, you're up. Thorbir, you're on deck.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Keyleth, a half-elf druid . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, If that fails, once their main force is on the bridge, Grog will cut the rope holding the bridge. you casts her spell. DM: And you can actually see that the bridge looks attached to it, it's a very, very convincing illusion. And you kind of have to remind yourself that it's an illusion, just so you don't fall for it either! Player: Yes, be careful guys, please be careful! DM: All right. So you're kind of chilling in the middle of the bridge? Player: Mm-hm. DM: All right. The rest of you are-- Player: All right, I'm on the outside of the bridge. DM: -- on the other side-- outside of the bridge. Player: I'm out with them. DM: Okay. So you're off the bridge now. Player: Gone. Yeah. DM: All right. So now, Tiberius, Vax, you guys walk across the bridge, keeping grip both side rails, feeling it rock to and fro from the continuous warm bellowing of wind up from the cavern beneath you. Eventually you bring your way across. What looks like you should be stepping on terrain is still the bridge, and it takes you a minute to adjust to the fact that you're still going across the bridge, but it looks like rocky terrain. Eventually you make it to the other side and you grab purchase on stone. Looking ahead of you, you can see about 60 feet ahead of you the outskirts of the war camp.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Yasha Nydoorin, a half-angel barbarian . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Jester and Fjord, also on deck, only see what appears to be ball lightning, but they see you being hurt by it, and Jester casts Cure Wounds on her, causing the creature to double in size. you and the being continue to battle, with you being seriously injured. DM: 19 points of damage on the first strike. Carves through the center of its leg area, you watch as energy dissipates. The leg goes (poof) and vanishes. Now it's hovering lightly with the other leg below it. You see energy sparking around where the leg's reforming. Player: (groans) Okay. DM: What are you doing with your second attack? Player: Yeah. Since I have reckless, I can still continue to do it? DM: Reckless for all your attacks this round, yeah. Player: I'm sorry, guys. Okay, 19. DM: 19 hits. Roll damage a second time. Player: Fuck. Ten. DM: Ten points of damage. You strike it again with the blade. It seems to shrug it off. It seems to be hardier than it was when you started this fight.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vex Vex'ahlia, a half-elf ranger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, She Dimension Door'ed her way into the ritual room, which Vox Machina followed over the wall. She seemed to complete the ritual, creating this small, vacuous, spinning black sphere that is locked in place. DM: Make an intelligence check. Just roll a d20 and add your intelligence. And you have advantage on it because he's your favored. Player: I'm not that smart. 12. DM: 12? Okay. You know that these creatures are incorporeal. They can generally shift in and out of solid matter as a way of moving and defending itself. You know that they're difficult to fight in the dark. You also know that they, because of their form, are generally resistant to a lot of types of elemental-type damage. And lighting and cold: no effect whatsoever. Player: Got it. DM: As well as poison. Player: Good to know. DM: That's as much as you can ascertain with that roll.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Fjord, a half-orc warlock . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Vera reveals herself to be a formidable mage, causing an Ice Storm which slows Nott, Caduceus, and Yasha and casting Mass Suggestion on the Guards to arrest them. you, seeing the tide turning, summons a demon onto the ship to distract the crew while rushing himself to the aid of Caleb. DM: She's not going to do anything with her action? She can dash with her action and move again if you're trying to get her to move. Player: Oh yeah, double dash. Yeah, I'm sorry. A little frazzled. DM: 40. What's her movement? Player: 40 and bonus to rage. DM: All right. As she charges past, that guard sees her running and goes, "Wait!" There's a huge distraction now. This person here who saw all of a sudden the flames erupt who was part of Avantika's crew, one of the crew members, is going to take an attack of opportunity at her as well as she runs past. She is raging, though, so she takes half damage. Ooh, that's going to be a 21 to hit. Player: Hits. DM: She takes another eight damage, but it's reduced to four. That finishes Yasha's go. Caduceus, you're up.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Beauregard Lionett called Beau, a human monk . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Before this happened, as a part of a journey towards this Tri-Spire, both Caleb and Jester made their way there. Caleb unsuccessfully entering a nicer district of the city that did not seem to believe or respect his presentation. DM: Laura Bailey, the kind of friend that tells you when you have a booger in your nose. I really appreciate it. Player: Can I jump this gap where Molly is and avoid the webbing? DM: You can certainly try. Go ahead and make an athletics check. You are standing in webbing, so it's being able to-- Player: Natural 20. DM: I will say yes! I will give you the ability to leap through and land off to this side using your movement and avoid that ten feet and still manage to free yourself from the webbing. So that was 15 feet of your movement used to leap. Player: So I have 25 more feet? DM: Yep. Player: How close can I get to the spider? DM: Let's give it a shot.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Tiberius Stormwind, a dragonborn sorcerer . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The party share tales from their time apart. Vex, to great dismay, learns about the fate of the flying carpet. DM: Okay. Blacksmithing is more for construction. The blacksmith there says, "Well, I mean, I can certainly make some for you, but there's already plenty of ready-made ones over at the general store across the way." And he points to a smaller building. Player: I would like a quarterstaff, though, with bladed ends. It is why I came to you, sir. DM: "All right." And the scruffy-chinned human rubs his half-beard and thinks it over. "I can probably fashion something. I can't tell you how wieldy it'll be, but we can certainly try. Give me about-- four hours, probably, with a ready-made quarterstaff?" Player: Wonderful. DM: "All right. For the custom, put you back about, say, 80 gold for the custom job." Player: Wonderful. DM: "You wanted a crossbow, you said. You want a heavy crossbow or--" Player: Oh. What do you prefer? I'm a sorcerer, so I've got to keep it light. DM: "Then you're probably going to go with a regular hand-crossbow. Go talk to that general store over there." And he sends you across the way. You head over to the general store. You purchase, base price for a hand-crossbow is 75 gold pieces, so mark that off.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Tiberius Stormwind, a dragonborn sorcerer . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Vox Machina managed to fly over the main part of the camp, but the duergar will reach them shortly. Vox Machina briefly take care of the wounded and unconscious before running towards the back of the camp, through the buildings, to the main tunnel. DM: You all manage to push towards the back of the entire war camp, into this tunnel. Hearing behind you the distant echoing shouts of approximately 30-plus duergar heading in your direction. You hear a few other ballista bolts hitting the wall above you of the stone. Player: Are we all in the tunnel? DM: You guys have now pushed into the tunnel. Player: I wait for everybody to pass and I cast all my Grand Columns. DM: Okay, how many can you-- Player: Three. DM: Three per spell? And how many spell levels do you have currently? Player: That's it, that's what I did the SP for, so that I could cast this right now. DM: Right. So you have one. Player: I have none in my column. DM: Right. How many spell castings did you have left? Two?

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Keyleth, a half-elf druid . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, you polymorphs Grog into a gorilla, and she herself Beast Shapes into a giant eagle. Everyone moves through the bog canopy and enters a shaded nightfall in proximity to the giant tree. DM: Okay, I mean, there are a number of areas that are somewhat clear on the ground, but there is no-- All the landscape is coated with this molasses-type material, even the bits that aren't submerged and are relatively shallow, there is still that substance all across them. Player: I was doing a tighter loop. DM: Right. Player: Of the tree, see if I can get any more details that we haven't already seen. DM: Okay. Keeping your eyes out as best you can as you loop around a second time, you get closer, no real change in what you're able to observe. You have a higher detailed look at it, but once again, you see a number of these vine-clusters around the base of some of these branches, you see elements where the bark has split and sealed over and split again and just spills out more of this black filth. Player: Okay. DM: You aren't able to make out any sort of other details about its surface. Player: I fly back to the others. DM: Okay.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Pike Trickfoot, a gnome cleric . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Back at the bakery, Tary gives the Trickfoots the run of the shop (to the chagrin of Vex and you, who don't entirely trust the newcomers). Everyone retires to get ready for dinner. DM: "Astra met Johann about ten years ago. He needed someone to nail him down. Spry, wily, prone to terrible choices. He's a stupid boy. Stupid, stupid boy." At which point, Johann, who's been talking, stops and goes, in Undercommon, "I can hear you, Dad. Anyway! She's good to him. If she breaks his heart, I'll kill her." Player: There you go. And any word from my family? My mother, anything? It's been a long time since I talked to them. DM: "They absconded east and got in a little trouble." Player: That makes sense. DM: "It's just like my brother to do that. He's the one who held the stupid gene on our generation." Player: Yep. DM: "I'm tired now." Player: Okay. DM: At which point, JB, who's been over there talking with you and asking questions about the castle and what accommodations there are, sees Uncle Ogden get up. "Oh, Uncle, I'll help you. I'm so sorry, Lady Vex'ahlia." She stands up and walks around and grabs the elbow. "Uncle Ogden, are you tired?" Player: I can have someone take him, if you'd like to stay? DM: "He's very fragile. If you'd trust anyone to take him?"

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Fjord, a half-orc warlock . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Matthew will be at Otafest in Calgary, up in Canada, May 18th to the 20th, and A-Kon in Texas June 7th through 10th. DM: It appears to be. The doors are closed, but it is warm on the inside, and upon checking the door, it is not locked. Player: Nice. We go in. DM: You step inside the interior and there is one other patron, who is currently in the process of looking through one of the glass cases in the far end of the room. You can see it's a rather portly looking gentleman, probably middle-aged or so. His hair is curled and unkempt, but pulled close to his scalp. His cheeks are ruddy, like the cold weather has caused him to get a bit flush, and he's in the process of glancing over as soon as you enter. He looks sidelong to your troupe as you enter and tries to mind his own business. There across the room, you can see there are two Pumat Sols currently, one of them smiling and looking out your direction, the other one that is keeping an eye on the gentleman in the corner. The one that watches you enter gives a big grin, "Why hello there!" Player: Good to see you again! Boy, it is sure coming down outside, wish there was a way to dry off real fast. DM: "Well, if that's what you're asking, I would be happy to help you." Player: I am! DM: He walks on over and starts breathing heavily on you. Player: (quietly) Fuck. (clears throat) What does it smell like? DM: His breath is warm. There are elements of an herbal scent that immediately is overtaken with a-- Player: Sour cream and onion chips. DM: Yeah, it's not entirely unpleasant, but not pleasant either. It's a warm cow-breath smell.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Grog Strongjaw, a goliath barbarian . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Three locks' scratchings translate to the Common equivalent of 'open me', one of the locks' scratchings warns the party not to open it. Vax discovers that the lock saying 'No' is trapped, and the ones saying 'Yes' aren't. DM: 26. You stand firm in your position. The blade strikes and gashes open a part of your shin, but you just hold your place there, leaning against the wall for support. Doesn't affect you. Player: So 13 total halved, so seven? DM: Mm-hm. Next is going to-- You know what, he's going to go ahead and attempt to strike you two more times. That is going to be a 16 to hit? Player: Misses. DM: And this one is going to take a minus five on that one. That was a-- Oh, okay. All right, that's 24. Player: That'll hit. DM: All right. This is going to be a Great Weapon Master strike. So this is 20 points of slashing damage, halved to ten. And is going to hold firm in his current position, daring anyone to come near, yeah. Holding this pincher point. Keyleth, you're up.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Yasha Nydoorin, a half-angel barbarian . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The next morning, they continue through the Quannah Breach in the Dunrock Mountains at the northern border of the Dwendalian Empire. They reach the gate run by the Uteloch family of the tribes. DM: As you guys continue your trek northward for the next day, you slowly push forward and watch as the rolling hills of this northern valley begin to even out. The high grasses growing dense and dusted with snow in the wake of this snowstorm that has passed through the night. It's now this beautiful, ice topped wonderland before you. As the storm is past, breaks in the clouds begin to slowly emerge and show you glimmers of blue in the sky. With sunlight comes a welcome comparative warmth, and this dusted field of diamonds begins to slowly thaw over the midday's journey. The looming peaks of the Dunrock mountain range approach closer, engulfing your horizon almost like a toothy jaw of some ancient titan that surrounds your peripheral. You can make out, as you get closer, the craggy break in the mountains ahead, familiar to you. It's like a spiral fracture of a bone, where suddenly what was once a solid mountain range seems to have torn and sundered into two separate ravines that seem to share a similar shape. This you recognize as the Quannah Breach. You guys begin to approach, by mid to late afternoon, the front of the breach, where you can see six crownsguard in a small outpost built at the base of the Quannah Breach. These, as you know, are usually folks that essentially warn people from traveling into the Breach, and if they do, let them know that any return is going to be probably highly searched and highly inquired. They enforce it, unless you slip them some coin. Then it's not an issue on the way back. They're more there to make money. Player: For appearances, yeah. DM: As you approach, familiar to you, a crownsguard begins to put a hand up to the approaching horses and say, "Hail!" Player: Oh, goddamn it. DM: "Where are you traveling to?" Player: Shadycreek. DM: "You have business in these cursed lands?" Player: Yeah, we're trying to get fucked. Can we move along? DM: "Well, your life is your own, as is your business, but you must understand that coming back is no easy task. A thorough search and inquiry into your person will be required--" Player: Yeah, blah, blah, blah. Can I give you a couple of coins and you let us on our way, please? DM: "Very well." How much do you give him? Player: How little will he take? DM: Customary to your experience and the times that you've traveled with the Iron Shepherds, it's usually about two gold to just pass. Player: Okay, yeah. DM: He takes it and quietly lets you pass. Per person.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Fjord, a half-orc warlock . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The party continued in the direction Jester sensed the orb through Locate Object. Jester's spell fades. DM: I would say that gets you right about there. You'd be just in range for the one that's incapacitated. Player: Is that melee? DM: Yeah. Player: Okay, yeah. DM: It's just a-- down, it swims down. Player: I should have to roll, yeah? DM: Yeah, reroll for this one. Player: 17. DM: 17 hits! Player: Okay, great. This does not have the extra d6, so that's three plus six is nine, 12 points of slashing damage. DM: 12 points of slashing damage.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Scanlan Shorthalt, a gnome bard . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Tiny Vax, thanks to a potion that does that. you managed to go ahead and put in an Immovable Rod within its stomach, which held it up for a moment, before it decided to truly gain the advantage it needed to escape the circumstance, allowed it to tear through its body, as well as an arrow that was shot by Vex, towards her brother, in the hopes of, I don't know, being a symbol of hope? DM: All right. That will technically be at the start of its turn, but we will carry that over. All right. The cloud appears in this space. You can already hear (coughing). Are you going to move or stay where you are? Player: There's no more cloud of insects, yeah? DM: It's still in this vicinity. Player: Is there any way to avoid it? Move up to where Kiki is or anything? DM: Yeah, if you want to make a strength check to climb. Player: All right, I'll do that. I'll move up to where Kiki is. 17. DM: 17. Yeah, you actually hopscotch up, leap over Percy and get up on top next to her over there.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Fjord, a half-orc warlock . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Vera reveals herself to be a formidable mage, causing an Ice Storm which slows Nott, Caduceus, and Yasha and casting Mass Suggestion on the Guards to arrest them. you, seeing the tide turning, summons a demon onto the ship to distract the crew while rushing himself to the aid of Caleb. DM: As you do, you rush past some of the guards that are on the opposite side that were rushing towards you. There's, I believe at this point, four of them that were heading your direction, because there was the one that was going towards Caleb. So we'll say two of them you'll have to push past. They both are going to make attacks of opportunity on you. Just an attempt to grapple to stop. Player: Okay. DM: Make your acrobatics or athletics check to try and break free. Player: Acrobatics or athletics. We'll make it athletics, straight up. That is a 17. DM: That succeeds. They literally rolled a natural 14 plus two. 16 was the highest roll. The other rolled a two. You manage to shrug past. You push out of his grasp. He's like, "Hey, wait!" Player: Great. One more. DM: Well, no, you--

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Keyleth, a half-elf druid . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Vax dashes past Greenbeard towards Kevdak, one of the herd members outside the arena attempting to swipe at the rogue but only catching feathers from the Deathwalker's Ward, and attacks the paralyzed Thunderlord with both daggers in hand. The blades strike true, Vax sinking the weapons up to the hilt into the flesh of the goliath, and the rogue flees the arena, but not before he leaves some parting words for Kevdak. DM: Marisha, you do get an attack of opportunity, it does fall and hit the barrel next to you, I mean, next to Vax. It doesn't hit you, but it spooks you momentarily as it slams onto the barrel next to your side and rolls off. Player: Rolling terribly. DM: What'd you get, Keyleth? Player: Ten total. DM: Ten total? Misses. Player: Oh no, oh, I had to roll to hit. I'm sorry, I was rolling damage. DM: What'd you roll? Player: I didn't roll to hit. To hit, that is, plus, 16 to hit? DM: 16 versus the archer? 17. Just misses.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Nott the Brave, a goblin rogue . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Wohn rushes to the front door and spots you, but falls victim to her Hideous Laughter and is knocked prone, while Keg finishes the second guard ( Phil) and rushes over to attack Wohn. When Wohn shrugs off the Hideous Laughter, she retaliates on Keg, attacking her with Yasha's stolen Magicians's Judge, dispelling the Haste and stunning her. DM: Past this way, you see a figure make their way to the door, and put their back to it. They haven't noticed you yet. Player: Okay. DM: As they put their back to the door, focusing on where the sound of those fireworks go off, looks back through the doorway, into the middle of the mess hall, hears this commotion and looks right to you. Player: Wait, sees me or doesn't see me? DM: Does see you. Because you're not trying to hide and it is a lit interior. This is Wohn. This is the female human barbarian that had rushed Caleb before. Previously had a great maul. However, is instead wielding a very familiar two-handed greatsword. Wide blade with runic hilt. The weapon that Yasha had on her-- Player: Oh, that's right, they had the weapons. Shit. DM: However, that's her turn. That brings us to Nila. You're up.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Taryon Darrington, a human artificer . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Scanlan disguises himself as Viskorad, one of the cultists they killed, and goes ahead of the group with Simon 3. While the others stealth along behind him, he approaches the figures in the archways ahead. DM: Wow. That's some pretty solid rolls, guys. You all stay as quiet as possible, moving along the exterior of Vex's ability to move forward. You move forward slowly while keeping Scanlan in sight. You slowly begin to move forward, with Simon Three humming slowly in front of you. Player: I am going to limp as I go. DM: Interesting character choice. Player: Strong choices, commit to them a hundred percent. DM: You guys are quietly stepping through, and you hear his footfalls echoing, and immediately you see some of the torches shift, and there's some talk and some whispering back and forth and a small shout. You watch as some of the skeletal entities at two of the entrances shift and look in that direction, and begin to shamble slowly. The two torch-bearers on the right begin to move forward as the armored figure in the center watches on, arms crossed. What are you doing? You have three archways. Player: I go to the one that had that knight near it, right? DM: That's the middle one. Player: I'll go to the middle one. I'm going to keep the ball in front of me to obscure me a little bit. Not dead in front of me, but it's up here, just in case. Hanging my head a little bit. I'll go up and say: Power! So much power! I've never experienced anything like it before! Come! I need aid! DM: Make a deception check with advantage.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vex Vex'ahlia, a half-elf ranger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, A scuffle ensues as they chase down a necromancer, a number of cultists, and some creatures from the Shadowfell. During the fray, Scanlan gets Sprigg back on his feet, and Keyleth kill a couple of the cultists with a Firestorm. DM: You know what? Yes, because he was not stealthing. You watch as he darts by, and you would have a shot, yeah. Player: All right, then I'm going to shoot at him. I'm going to Hunter's Mark him! DM: All righty, look at that! Player: Trinket doesn't have enough movement to get over by him, does he? DM: No, but Trinket can attack whatever's in your area, too. Player: I'm going to attack him with my Bramble Shot. With the Blazing Bowstring. Ooh, yeah. That's a 31. DM: 31? That hits! Player: Yes! Okay! Do I get sneak attack on him? I don't, do I? DM: No.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Fjord, a half-orc warlock . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, You had discussed with them, last time, a plot - fixing their seemingly not-very-well-put-together plot into a better direction (thankfully) - to acquire a wax seal within the home of Lord Sutan, to create a letter that you feel would be incriminating. Then to infiltrate the High Richter's home, do the same, and then report them to the Lawmaster or whoever else you think would be of higher estate... DM: You hear Horris, off to the side, arms crossed now, hearing all this, goes, "Yeah, you could say that." Player: This Ren Sutan, any idea where we might be able to find him? DM: They both look at each other, and you watch as Dolan glances out the window. "Not that far outside of the Apple Tree Tutorship vicinity, you will find a white and peach building, with a few banners in the front, and that's Ren's new practice." Player: A physician also. DM: "Yes." Player: A dark physician, most likely, hmm? DM: "I mean, sure." He looks confused. "Dark physicianry I guess is an issue in some parts of the world, I suppose?" Player: Yeah, rampant where I'm from. Just real fucking dark. DM: He looks back at Horris. Horris is like, "Right. Well, if you come across any dark physicianry, please do your best to quell it where it... seeds." Player: Indeed I will. Indeed. DM: "Thank you."

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Nott the Brave, a goblin rogue . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Pumat Sol is out of healing potions, but Caleb buys 200 gp worth of paper, Jester buys a pearl of power, you buys two incendiary crossbow bolts, and Fjord buys an enchanted shield. The party discusses the Lawmaster’s offer and decides against it. DM: "Fair enough." About five minutes pass and then the Pumat comes down, he's got a small, bound cluster of bolts and he goes, "Hey, so it's all we got, but we've got a batch here of ten enchanted crossbow bolts. These upon firing should offer a small batch of fiery impact on whatever you strike with them." Player: How much are they? DM: "For each of these, it's 50 gold per bolt." Player: I'll take two bolts please. DM: "Two bolts, here you go." Player: Thank you. DM: He passes them over to you. These bolts, upon impact, do an additional 1d8 fire damage. Player: Nice. DM: You have two of them, and it's one use only. Player: Okay. 1d8 fire damage. Great. DM: You may have a chance of recovering them, depending.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Jester Lavorre, a tiefling cleric . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Ireena and a passing Crownsguard both seem to think that keeping a lot of money on their persons was pretty stupid, and under you's Zone of Truth Ireena denies knowing anything about it. They decide to visit Rissa's father, and to investigate Ashton and Fitz, the two gnome boys who were taunting Rissa the previous day. DM: She leans forward, looks up to him. (like Cleff) "She's a mighty big bird!" He's like, "That's a nice trick on that one! I like that." Player: She's very talented. DM: "Do you like--" and he pulls this small contraption, it's actually a miniature version of what you saw those large bolt throwers that were constructed out front, where it has this bowed arc and there's a small, blunted stick in it. He goes, "All you do is pull back on this trigger." Ping! It fires off, narrowly missing the side of Beau's head, hits something, and you hear glass shatter in the background and he goes, "Oh, maybe not that one." Puts it back. (cranking) And hands something over to Kiri, who accepts it. There's a moment where things are awkward and there's a tension, and you're about to go-- before it opens up and from the inside you see this tiny metallic bird, its wings flap up and down. A music box begins to play (metallic song) and Kiri, looking at this, begins mimicking exactly the sound of the music box (metallic song). It's almost one beat behind it, until it synchronizes, and she's mimicking at such an incredibly fast pace behind it that they're almost in unison, until eventually it slows down and comes to a stop. Kiri looks back to you (chirping). Player: Do you like it? How much is that? DM: "Oh, that one, it's a beautiful piece. I'll be happy to let it go for about three gold pieces." Player: Three gold pieces. I think that's worth it, Kiri. Okay. Three gold pieces. DM: There's a whole smattering of cool contraptions, now that you're looking at the back, too. Some that look like they could be armaments, almost. Some that look like they're the insides of larger machine pieces.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Jester Lavorre, a tiefling cleric . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, You hunted it down, slew it, brought its head back, and - after arguing with a very tired and just-kind-of-wanting-to-get-it-over-with Lawmaster in Trostenwald - managed to convince her enough to let you off the hook...and leave most of the standing legal issues with Gustav. Thus, disbanding the circus, and setting you and Yasha free. DM: Because it is not a riding horse, it is a beast of burden, so it's about the same pace that you're going. As you guys pull slightly off into the grass, the cart bumps as it hits some rocks and patches of dirt and thick grass. They continue to pass, and as they do, you see the individuals. The one in the front has what looks to be a thick scarf tossed over the shoulder obscuring part of the face, and she gives a hand salute up to you as it passes and a bit of a head nod. As you wave your hand frantically, a bit of eye contact is made and continues past. Player: Are you going to Nicodranas? DM: No response. The first cart continues past. Player: Hi. Hi, are you going to Nicodranas? DM: The next one looks over to you for a second, the head cocked a little bit. "No, we are on our way to Port Zoon." Player: Oh. DM: "By way of Nicodranas." Player: Oh! Did you come from Zadash? DM: "We briefly did, yes, but we are returning. We have finished our wares and we have things to bring back to sell." Player: How far is it to Zadash? DM: "Uh..." At this point he's passed by you and his voice gets a bit louder over his shoulder and he's like, "From this point, it's probably around 150 miles." Player: Thank you! DM: The next one continues, one after another. You get a better look, too. The ones at the front that were pretty heavily covered, as opposed to the ones in the back which are a little taller, and as you look into the back, there's little flaps and openings on the inside, you can see there's families traveling.