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Micheal Bateman

A good personality consists of a chick with a little hard body...

Micheal Bateman

who will satisfy all sexual demands...

Micheal Bateman

without being too slutty about things...

Micheal Bateman

and who will essentially keep her dumb fucking mouth shut.

Micheal Bateman

The only girls with good personalities...

Micheal Bateman

who are smart or maybe funny or halfway intelligent or talented--

Micheal Bateman

though God knows what the fuck that means-- are ugly chicks.

Micheal Bateman

Absolutely. And this is because they have to make up...

Micheal Bateman

for how fucking unattractive they are.

Micheal Bateman

- Do you know what Ed Gein said about women ? - Maitre d' at Canal Bar ?

Micheal Bateman

- No, serial killer, Wisconsin, in the 50s. - And what did Ed say ?

Micheal Bateman

"When I see a pretty girl walking down the street, I think two things.

Micheal Bateman

"One part of me wants to take her out and talk to her,

Micheal Bateman

be real nice and sweet and treat her right."

Micheal Bateman

- And what did the other part of him think ?

Micheal Bateman

What her head would look like on a stick.

Micheal Bateman

Hi, guys. I wanna get your opinion on something.

Micheal Bateman

It's my business card.

Micheal Bateman

I decided to get a new one too.

Micheal Bateman

Oh, it's--

Micheal Bateman

Very nice, Luis.

Micheal Bateman

Thank you.

Micheal Bateman

Listen, what about dinner ?

Micheal Bateman

Is that all you ever have to contribute, Van Patten ? "What about fucking dinner" ?

Micheal Bateman

Cheer up there, Bateman. What's the matter ? No shiatsu this morning ?

Micheal Bateman

Keep touching me like that, you'll draw back a stump. Hold on there, little buddy.

Micheal Bateman

Excuse me.

Micheal Bateman

God. Patrick. Why here ?

Micheal Bateman

I've seen you looking at me.

Micheal Bateman

I've noticed your...

Micheal Bateman

hot body.

Micheal Bateman

Don't be shy.

Micheal Bateman

You can't imagine how long I've wanted this--

Micheal Bateman

ever since that Christmas party at Arizona 206.

Micheal Bateman

You know, the one you were wearing that red-striped paisley Armani tie.

Micheal Bateman

I want you. I want you too.

Micheal Bateman

Patrick. What is it ?

Micheal Bateman

Where are you going ?

Micheal Bateman

I've gotta return some video tapes.

Micheal Bateman

Patrick !

Micheal Bateman

Okay, London the--

Micheal Bateman

London, there's, um, a reservation-- Any Paul Allen ?

Micheal Bateman

No. A reservation, but-- Kimball !

Micheal Bateman

I've been wanting to talk with you. Come into my office.

Micheal Bateman

Jean, greatjacket. Matsuta ?

Micheal Bateman

Do you remember where you were the night of Paul's disappearance,

Micheal Bateman

which was on the 20th of December ?

Micheal Bateman

God.

Micheal Bateman

I guess I was probably returning video tapes.

Micheal Bateman

I had a date with a girl named Veronica.

Micheal Bateman

That's not what I've got. What ?

Micheal Bateman

That's not the information I've received.

Micheal Bateman

Well, I-- Wait.

Micheal Bateman

- What information have you received ? - Let me see.

Micheal Bateman

Well--

Micheal Bateman

You were with-- Well, I could be wrong.

Micheal Bateman

When was the last time you were with Paul Allen ?

Micheal Bateman

We'd gone to a new musical...

Micheal Bateman

called Oh, Africa, Brave Africa.

Micheal Bateman

It was a laugh riot. That was about it.

Micheal Bateman

I think we had dinner at Orso's. No, Peto-- No, Orso's.

Micheal Bateman

I hope I've been informative. Long day, a bit scattered.

Micheal Bateman

I'm a little spent now too.

Micheal Bateman

But how about lunch in a week or so...

Micheal Bateman

when I've sorted out all this information ?

Micheal Bateman

Great. Yes, I'd like that.

Micheal Bateman

And if you could try and pin down where you were...

Micheal Bateman

the night of Paul Allen's disappearance, it would make my job a lot easier.

Micheal Bateman

Absolutely. I'm with you on that one.

Micheal Bateman

Huey Lewis and the News.

Micheal Bateman

Great stuff. I just bought it on my way here. You heard it ?

Micheal Bateman

Never. I mean, I don't really like singers.

Micheal Bateman

Not a big music fan, huh ? No, I like music.

Micheal Bateman

Just they're-- Huey's too black sounding for me.

Micheal Bateman

To each his own.

Micheal Bateman

So, lunch next week ?

Micheal Bateman

I'll be there.

Micheal Bateman

Oh !

Micheal Bateman

Oh !

Micheal Bateman

Will you call me before Easter ? Maybe.

Micheal Bateman

What are you doing tonight ?

Micheal Bateman

Dinner at, uh, River Cafe.

Micheal Bateman

Au Bar afterwards, maybe. That's nice.

Micheal Bateman

I never knew you smoked.

Micheal Bateman

You never noticed.

Micheal Bateman

Listen, Patrick.

Micheal Bateman

Can we talk ?

Micheal Bateman

You look... marvelous.

Micheal Bateman

There's nothing to say.

Micheal Bateman

You're gonna marry Luis. Isn't that special ?

Micheal Bateman

Patrick ?

Micheal Bateman

Yes, Courtney ?

Micheal Bateman

If I don't see you before Easter,

Micheal Bateman

have a nice one, okay ?

Micheal Bateman

You too.

Micheal Bateman

Patrick ?

Micheal Bateman

Yeah ?

Micheal Bateman

Nothing.

Micheal Bateman

There is this theory now-- Listen to me.

Micheal Bateman

There is this theory now that if you can catch the AlDS virus...