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Love is the only thing that gave this struggle any meaning. Without love, there's no reason to endure. Even if it gets better, what's it for if there's no one to share it with?My mom really wants me to hold on. I imagine my dad and siblings would hurt for a while. My grandma might die (I have always been her favorite for some reason). But why should that matter? It's sick that they think they are happier keeping me alive, in misery. I want to check myself into a psych ward for 2 weeks, but other than staying alive cuz my mom keeps telling me to...I don't know why I should. My life as never been "good" or "easy" or "fun." I'm not waiting around for it to get "good" or "fun" because I'm beyond that now. I know all that is empty and meaningless. It seems like such a waist to put in all the effort it takes to overcome this, only to be able to live apathetically. Why go to work? why pay my bills? why eat? why shower? if I'm not having any fun? When the emotions and the thoughts pass, I still won't be having any fun because I either 1) can't appreciate me and my life on my own (i.e. without the partner who I thought was my soul mate), OR 2) there is no incentive to put up with this shitty world and the people in it on a daily basis. I don't want this world or this life--I have legit been trying to run away from it since I was 12...17 years later and I still want to run away, and now I don't have high school, lost virginity, drug experimentation, college, love, starting a family, professional career, or any of those milestones to look forward to. There's no reason to keep getting up with the sun. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Love is the only thing that gave this struggle any meaning.Without love, there's no reason to endure.Even if it gets better, what's it for if there's no one to share it with?My mom really wants me to hold on.I imagine my dad and siblings would hurt for a while.My grandma might die (I have always been her favorite for some reason).But why should that matter?It's sick that they think they are happier keeping me alive, in misery.I want to check myself into a psych ward for 2 weeks, but other than staying alive cuz my mom keeps telling me to...I don't know why I should.My life as never been \"good\" or \"easy\" or \"fun.\"I'm not waiting around for it to get \"good\" or \"fun\" because I'm beyond that now.I know all that is empty and meaningless.It seems like such a waist to put in all the effort it takes to overcome this, only to be able to live apathetically.Why go to work?why pay my bills?why eat?why shower?if I'm not having any fun?",
"When the emotions and the thoughts pass, I still won't be having any fun because I either 1) can't appreciate me and my life on my own (i.e. without the partner who I thought was my soul mate), OR 2) there is no incentive to put up with this shitty world and the people in it on a daily basis.I don't want this world or this life--I have legit been trying to run away from it since I was 12...17 years laterand I still want to run away, and now I don't have high school, lost virginity, drug experimentation, college, love, starting a family, professional career, or any of those milestones to look forward to.There's no reason to keep getting up with the sun."
] | 245 | El amor es la única cosa que le dio a esta lucha cualquier significado.Sin amor, no hay razón para aguantar.Incluso si se pone mejor, ¿para qué es si no hay nadie con quien compartirla?Mi mamá realmente quiere que me mantenga.Imagino que mi padre y mis hermanos me harían daño por un tiempo.Mi abuela podría morir (siempre he sido su favorita por alguna razón).Pero ¿por qué debería importar eso?Es enfermizo que piensen que son más felices manteniéndome vivo, en la miseria.Quiero registrarme en una sala de psiquiatría durante 2 semanas, pero aparte de estar viva porque mi mamá sigue diciéndome que...No sé por qué debería hacerlo.Mi vida como nunca ha sido "buena" o "fácil" o "divertida".No estoy esperando a que sea "buena" o "divertida" porque estoy más allá de eso ahora.¿Sé todo eso está vacío y sin sentido? |
What will you do in this situation? It’s night and you decide to go to sleep. When you close your eyes and fall asleep, you see black you open your eyes but all you can see is black. you can’t move but then you see something: “Bethesda game studios” “presents”
Your memories start to flow in...
You see that you are in a cart moving in a forest, you see someone riding a horse that pushed the cart, you see more people in the cart “The Elder Scrolls V”
You remember that title it was a game from 2011!
“SKYRIM”
Yeah that’s the one.
Someone: “Hey you finally awake”... | [] | [
"What will you do in this situation?It’s nightand you decide to go to sleep.When you close your eyes and fall asleep, you see black you open your eyes but all you can see is black.you can’t movebut then you see something: “Bethesda game studios” “presents”\n\nYour memories start to flow in...You see that you are in a cart moving in a forest, you see someone riding a horse that pushed the cart, you see more people in the cart “The Elder Scrolls V”\n\nYou remember that title it was a game from 2011!“SKYRIM”Yeah that’s the one.Someone: “Hey you finally awake”..."
] | 148 | ¿Qué vas a hacer en esta situación?Es de noche y decides ir a dormir.Cuando cierras los ojos y te duermes, ves negro que abres los ojos pero todo lo que puedes ver es negro.No puedes moverte, pero luego ves algo: “Bethesda game studios” “presentes” Tus recuerdos comienzan a fluir en... Ves que estás en un carro que se mueve en un bosque, ves a alguien montando un caballo que empujó el carro, ves más gente en el carrito “The Elder Scrolls V” Recuerdas que el título era un juego de 2011!“SKYRIM”Sí, ese es el uno. |
It’s time to take a fuckin step back. I was just on Tik tok(shoot me ik) when I came across a video of a girl telling people to slash 3 tires with 1 knife and slash the last 1 with a different knife to get him done for fraud. Even if this is a joke some psycho is deadass gunna do this. Then she says to give him nicotine gum without him knowing so when he’s away from you he feels like shit. LIKE BRO NICOTINE ISNT SOMETHING YOU FUCK ABOUT WITH. FUCKIN END OF THIS SHIT SHOULDNT HAVE TO BE SAID. So now I’m thinking, guys have to worry about false rape allegations, being set up for FRAUD, and being secretly addicted to a highly addictive substance. Bro idc if this was a joke some psycho out there is deadass gunna do this and who did they get the idea from? YOU, YOU PSYCHO BANSHEE BITCH. ID RATHER HAVE ME DICK POKED WITH RUSTY NEEDLES THAN DATE YOUR TOXIC ASS. Andddd just as the fuckin cherry on top, She tells people how to get rid of hickeys..... SO YOU FINNA CHEAT GET THIS DUDE ADDICTED TO NICOTINE AND FRAME HIM FOR FRAUD AND CHEAT???
TL;DR: people are telling others to frame people for fraud and to get them addicted to nicotine so there partner won’t leave, and how to get rid of hickeys. | [] | [
"It’s time to take a fuckin step back.I was just on Tik tok(shoot me ik) when I came across a video of a girl telling people to slash 3 tires with 1 knife and slash the last 1 with a different knife to get him done for fraud.Even if this is a joke some psycho is deadass gunna do this.Then she says to give him nicotine gum without him knowing so when he’s away from you he feels like shit.LIKE BRONICOTINE ISNT SOMETHING YOU FUCK ABOUT WITH.FUCKIN END OF THIS SHIT SHOULDNT HAVE TO BE SAID.So now I’m thinking, guys have to worry about false rape allegations, being set up for FRAUD, and being secretly addicted to a highly addictive substance.Bro idc if this was a joke some psycho out there is deadass gunna do this and who did they get the idea from?YOU, YOU PSYCHO BANSHEE BITCH.ID RATHER HAVE ME DICK POKED WITH RUSTY NEEDLES THAN DATE YOUR TOXIC ASS.Andddd just as the fuckin cherry on top, She tells people how to get rid of hickeys.....SO YOU FINNA CHEAT GET THIS DUDE ADDICTED TO NICOTINE ANDFRAME HIM FOR FRAUD AND CHEAT???TL;DR: people are telling others to frame people for fraud and to get them addicted to nicotine so there partner won’t leave, and how to get rid of hickeys."
] | 347 | Es hora de dar un maldito paso atrás.Yo estaba en Tik tok (dispárame ik) cuando me encontré con un video de una chica diciéndole a la gente que corte 3 neumáticos con 1 cuchillo y corte el último 1 con un cuchillo diferente para conseguir que se haga por fraude.Incluso si esto es una broma algún psicópata es deadass gunna hacer esto.Entonces ella dice que le dé goma de mascar de nicotina sin que él sepa que cuando está lejos de ti se siente como una mierda.LA BRONICOTINA LIKE es algo que te molesta.FUCKIN FIN THIS SHIT shouldntend NECESITARSE.Así que ahora estoy pensando, ¿los chicos tienen que preocuparse acerca de acusaciones falsas de violación, estar preparados para FRAUD, y ser adictos secretamente a una sustancia adictiva.Bro idc si esto fue una broma algún psicópata allá afuera está muertoguna guna hacer esto y ¿quiénes consiguieron la idea de YADEAR? |
I feel ready, but I’m not brave.I’m ready to go now. I feel it... I imagine this is what older people feel like. I feel like I have lived this long life but that’s because it’s been hard...I have PTSD I’m a pussy though cuz I never went to war... just with myself and my life. Every time I cry it bring back every other time I’ve cried and every bad feeling that came with that crying... so whenever I do it ... it goes out of control.... I’m in a relationship thing and I’m not sure if I’m being abused or if I’m abusive..l it’s probably both but when I say we should separate I’m a evil person.. it’s not like he wants the same life I want.... I’m not even sure why I’m writing this .... I’m definitely not going to be here in 3 years...I have this feeling that me trying to get a second degree and a better career will still not work out in my favor as it didn’t with the associates in business....or working in mental health.
I want to do it right now but I’m so scared but I need to be with my grandmother... she loved me the best and I’ve missed her this past 4 years. She left me here like this though so I’m mad...oh and on top of everything I’m a black female...
HAHAHAHAH what a wonderful life to be living now at days.... google says black woman are the least desirable of all women and we still fall behind Asian men on this spectrum...my dad has never been a good parent to me because I made a bad decision to not live with him at 12 and I have like no friends of my race because I’m not the average so I can even find any sameness in my race.... I feel like I have to prove I’m black enough to receive black love and community.it makes me anxious if I can’t afford to tip because I am black my hair fell out too ... I could keep going but I’m feeling like crying now and I’m supposed to wait at least 3 more years... but idk if I can that long.... maybe I’ll be brave someday | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I feel ready, but I’m not brave.I’m ready to go now.I feel it...I imagine this is what older people feel like.I feel like I have lived this long life but that’s because it’s been hard...I have PTSD I’m a pussy though cuz I never went to war... just with myself and my life.Every time I cry it bring back every other time I’ve cried and every bad feeling that came with that crying...so whenever I do it ...it goes out of control....I’m in a relationship thing and I’m not sure if I’m being abused or if I’m abusive..l it’s probably both but when I say we should separate I’m a evil person..it’s not like he wants the same life I want....I’m not even sure why I’m writing this ....I’m definitely not going to be here in 3 years...I have this feeling that me trying to get a second degree and a better career will still not work out in my favor as it didn’t with the associates in business....or working in mental health.I want to do it right now but I’m so scared but I need to be with my grandmother... she loved me the bestand I’ve missed her this past 4 years.She left me here like this thoughso I’m mad...oh and on top of everything I’m a black female...\n",
"HAHAHAHAH what a wonderful life to be living now at days....google says black woman are the least desirable of all women and we still fall behind Asian men on this spectrum...my dad has never been a good parent to me because I made a bad decision to not live with him at 12 and I have like no friends of my race because I’m not the averageso I can even find any sameness in my race....I feel like I have to prove I’m black enough to receive black love and community.it makes me anxious if I can’t afford to tip because I am black my hair fell out too ...I could keep going but I’m feeling like crying now and I’m supposed to wait at least 3 more years...but idk if I can that long....maybe I’ll be brave someday"
] | 310 | Me siento lista, pero no soy valiente.Estoy lista para irme ahora.Lo siento...Me imagino que esto es lo que la gente mayor siente.Me siento como si hubiera vivido esta larga vida pero eso es porque ha sido duro...Tengo PTSD soy un coño aunque nunca fui a la guerra... solo conmigo mismo y mi vida.Cada vez que lloro me trae de vuelta cada otra vez que he llorado y cada mal sentimiento que vino con ese llanto...así que cada vez que lo hago... se me sale de control... estoy en una relación y no estoy seguro de si estoy siendo abusado o si soy abusivo...Es probable que sea ambos, pero cuando digo que debemos separarme soy una persona malvada... no es como si quisiera la misma vida que quiero... ni siquiera estoy seguro de por qué estoy escribiendo esto... estoy seguro de que no voy a estar aquí en 3 años que estoy en la parte superior de mi mente... y estoy en la parte superior de mi mente. |
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︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎
︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ | [] | [
"︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎\n︎\n︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎\n︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎"
] | 80 | |
Wake up, browse reddit, watch porn, contemplate suicide, repeatMan fuck this shit. People say it gets better, no it gets worse. Legitimately considering trying to stab myself in the jugular. I was sexually abused and mutilated and no one cares. People laugh at my problems call me crazy. Theres to much contradiction here. Hurt me, tell me its no big deal, tell me i'll get over it, laugh at me. Either kill me or care for me I can't stand this inbetween flip floppy bull shit. Its torture. Everyone would be better without me anyway I'm just a problem generator. It hurts so much. If theres a god he knows no mercy. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Wake up, browse reddit, watch porn, contemplate suicide, repeatMan fuck this shit.People say it gets better, no it gets worse.Legitimately considering trying to stab myself in the jugular.I was sexually abused and mutilated and no one cares.People laugh at my problems call me crazy.Theres to much contradiction here.Hurt me, tell me its no big deal, tell me i'll get over it, laugh at me.Either kill me or care for me I can't stand this inbetween flip floppy bull shit.Its torture.Everyone would be better without me anywayI'm just a problem generator.It hurts so much.If theres a god he knows no mercy."
] | 157 | Despierta, navega por reddit, mira porno, contempla el suicidio, repiteEl hombre folla esta mierda.La gente dice que se pone mejor, no se pone peor.Legitimamente considerando intentar apuñalarme en la yugular.Fui abusado sexualmente y mutilado y a nadie le importa.La gente se ríe de mis problemas me llaman loco.Aquí hay mucha contradicción.Cártame, dime que no es gran cosa, dime que lo superaré, ríete de mí.O me matas o cuídame no puedo soportar esto entre la mierda de toro flip floppy.Es tortura.Todo el mundo estaría mejor sin mí de todos modossoy un generador de problemas.Duele tanto.Si hay un dios que no conoce piedad. |
Posting everyday until i get my first kiss day 239 Man fuck my life man fuck it | [] | [
"Posting everyday until i get my first kiss day 239 Man fuck my life man fuck it"
] | 18 | Publicando todos los días hasta que consiga mi primer día de beso 239 Hombre folla mi vida hombre folla |
My suicidality made me go crazyI keep on internally laughing I can't stop it when I'm very down I can barely close my eyes and I keep on laughing internally I am very fucked up I think I might be crazy but I am extremely afraid to get diagnosed as I keep having flashbacks of the day that I was held captive in a hospital it was so horrible but at the same time I really deserved it I can't do this longer help me | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"My suicidality made me go crazyI keep on internally laughing I can't stop it when I'm very down I can barely close my eyes and I keep on laughing internally I am very fucked up I think I might be crazy but I am extremely afraid to get diagnosed as I keep having flashbacks of the day that I was held captive in a hospital it was so horrible but at the same time I really deserved it I can't do this longer help me"
] | 95 | Mi suicidio me hizo volver loco Sigo riendo internamente No puedo pararlo cuando estoy muy abajo Apenas puedo cerrar los ojos y sigo riendo internamente Estoy muy jodido Creo que podría estar loco Pero tengo mucho miedo de que me diagnostiquen como sigo teniendo recuerdos del día que me mantuvieron cautiva en un hospital Era tan horrible pero al mismo tiempo realmente me lo merecía No puedo hacer esto más tiempo ayudarme |
It's just one more monthHey,
Was planning to post in /r/depression, but this felt more appropriate.
To sum up, I'm transgender, 20 years old, extremely severe depression, no treatment. Went off one of my anti-depressants a month ago due to side effects, asked my doctors office for an emergency appointment.
Still haven't heard from them. Things are worse than ever. Today I got out of bed, went straight into the bath and fell asleep. Five hours later I got up and went back to bed and slept until my mother got home.
After she walked the dogs, she asked me what I had for lunch. I considered lying, but I didn't have the energy. I told her that I had a piece of old stale bread for lunch, which was the truth. She got angry that I wasn't eating properly, not upset, not sad, angry. She then got angry I didn't empty the dishwasher.
After a while, she came back to my room and told me that she wasn't cooking dinner for me if I stayed in bed. I couldn't bring myself to respond, I just laid there. She's currently eating dinner, and I'm in my room still.
In a month I meet with the trans care people again. This time they might tell me that they've decided to treat me. Probably not though, it's been 2 years and they haven't moved a step in that direction.
I know that I would probably feel better if I actually managed to see my doctor and get another med. I know I probably wouldn't be spending the entire day sleeping and/or thinking about ending it. I can't bring myself to do anything, though. I can't pick up the phone. I can't eat.
I don't know how to keep climbing out of this ever deepening hole. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"It's just one more monthHey,\n\nWas planning to post in /r/depression, but this felt more appropriate.To sum up, I'm transgender, 20 years old, extremely severe depression, no treatment.Went off one of my anti-depressants a month ago due to side effects, asked my doctors office for an emergency appointment.Still haven't heard from them.Things are worse than ever.Today I got out of bed, went straight into the bath and fell asleep.Five hours later I got up and went back to bed and slept until my mother got home.After she walked the dogs, she asked me what I had for lunch.I considered lying, but I didn't have the energy.I told her that I had a piece of old stale bread for lunch, which was the truth.She got angry that I wasn't eating properly, not upset, not sad, angry.She then got angry I didn't empty the dishwasher.After a while, she came back to my room and told me that she wasn't cooking dinner for me if I stayed in bed.I couldn't bring myself to respond, I just laid there.She's currently eating dinner, and I'm in my room still.In a month I meet with the trans care people again.This time they might tell me that they've decided to treat me.",
"Probably not though, it's been 2 years and they haven't moved a step in that direction.I know that I would probably feel better if I actually managed to see my doctor and get another med.I know I probably wouldn't be spending the entire day sleeping and/or thinking about ending it.I can't bring myself to do anything, though.I can't pick up the phone.I can't eat.I don't know how to keep climbing out of this ever deepening hole."
] | 291 | Es sólo un mes más.Hola, Planeaba publicar en /r/depresión, pero esto se sentía más apropiado.En resumen, soy transgénero, de 20 años, depresión extremadamente severa, sin tratamiento.Hace un mes, me fui de uno de mis antidepresivos por efectos secundarios, pedí a mi oficina médica una cita de emergencia.Todavía no he sabido nada de ellos.Las cosas son peores que nunca.Hoy me levanté de la cama, me fui directamente al baño y me quedé dormida.Cinco horas después me levanté y volví a la cama y dormí hasta que mi madre llegó a casa.Después de caminar con los perros, ella me preguntó qué había comido.Consideré mentir, pero no tenía la energía.Le dije que tenía un pedazo de pan viejo para el almuerzo, que era la verdad.Se enfadó porque no estaba comiendo adecuadamente, no estaba molesta, no estaba triste, estaba enojada.Ella entonces se enojó de que no vaciara el lavavajillas.Después de un tiempo, ella volvió a mi habitación y me dijo que no me estaba comiendo. |
I need to feel someone else’s skin against mineAnd soon. Otherwise I swear to God I’m gonna end my life.
Reading posts where guys complain about the impossibility of attracting girls because of their supposed bad looks makes feel even more worthless because I know girls like me. They look at me all the time, I’ve missed millions of opportunities. But I feel so unable to reach out. Like I’m trapped inside myself for having been isolated for so long.
I hate myself so much. My life is a complete failure.
Sometimes it occurs to me in a flash that the idea of ending my life is an aberration as the gift of life is such a sacred and gorgeous thing, and I mean I really feel it in a deep way.
Also I’m fully aware of my potential (which is in part why I despise myself so much). But in moments like now (and they’re getting more and more frequent and intense) all I can think of is my pain.
The lack of socializing, physical affection and sex leads to a very real physical pain at this point. I feel it all over my body. Like a wave that envelopes me and ends up focusing right in my heart, like a frozen fist clenching suddenly around it.
And believe me I’m not letting myself go. I’m fighting with all I got. I’ve quit smoking (both cigarettes and weed), stopped fapping and watching porn, I exercize daily, meditate, take cold showers, go for walks, got back to photography, which was a big hobby of mine, and started seeing a therapist.
But no matter the efforts and although I’m getting positive results in some regards, the loneliness is just too fuckin’ unbearable.
And everyday, little by little, I’m losing my will to live. I end up crying in my bed almost every night. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I need to feel someone else’s skin against mineAnd soon.Otherwise I swear to God I’m gonna end my life.Reading posts where guys complain about the impossibility of attracting girls because of their supposed bad looks makes feel even more worthless because I know girls like me.They look at me all the time, I’ve missed millions of opportunities.But I feel so unable to reach out.Like I’m trapped inside myself for having been isolated for so long.I hate myself so much.My life is a complete failure.Sometimes it occurs to me in a flash that the idea of ending my life is an aberration as the gift of life is such a sacred and gorgeous thing, and I mean I really feel it in a deep way.Also I’m fully aware of my potential (which is in part why I despise myself so much).But in moments like now (and they’re getting more and more frequent and intense) all I can think of is my pain.The lack of socializing, physical affection and sex leads to a very real physical pain at this point.I feel it all over my body.Like a wave that envelopes me and ends up focusing right in my heart, like a frozen fist clenching suddenly around it.And believe me I’m not letting myself go.I’m fighting with all I got.",
"I’ve quit smoking (both cigarettes and weed), stopped fapping and watching porn, I exercize daily, meditate, take cold showers, go for walks, got back to photography, which was a big hobby of mine, and started seeing a therapist.But no matter the efforts and although I’m getting positive results in some regards, the loneliness is just too fuckin’ unbearable.And everyday, little by little, I’m losing my will to live.I end up crying in my bed almost every night."
] | 280 | Necesito sentir la piel de otra persona contra la míaY pronto. De lo contrario juro por Dios que voy a terminar mi vida.Leo mensajes donde los chicos se quejan de la imposibilidad de atraer chicas debido a su supuesta mala apariencia hace que se sientan aún más inútiles porque conozco chicas como yo.Me miran todo el tiempo, me he perdido millones de oportunidades.Pero me siento tan incapaz de llegar a cabo.Como estoy atrapado dentro de mí mismo por haber estado aislado durante tanto tiempo.Me odio tanto a mí mismo.Mi vida es un fracaso completo.A veces se me ocurre en un instante que la idea de terminar mi vida es una aberración como el regalo de la vida es una cosa tan sagrada y hermosa, y quiero decir que realmente lo siento de una manera profunda.También soy plenamente consciente de mi potencial (que es en parte por lo que me desprecio tanto).Pero en momentos como ahora (y se están volviendo más y más frecuentes e intensos) todo lo que puedo pensar es mi dolor.La falta de socialización, el afecto físico y el sexo conduce a un dolor físico muy real en este punto. |
What are some good Halloween movies? Filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler | [] | [
"What are some good Halloween movies?Filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler"
] | 67 | ¿Cuáles son algunas buenas películas de Halloween?Filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler filler |
I can't do this anymore 19m, no friends, i failed at university (i chose the wrong faculty last year, i don't know what to do now) and i suffer from a rare disease (which can't be cured) too. i am sorry, i just want to end this.
please, help | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I can't do this anymore 19m, no friends, i failed at university (i chose the wrong faculty last year, i don't know what to do now) and i suffer from a rare disease (which can't be cured) too.i am sorry, i just want to end this.please, help"
] | 67 | No puedo hacer esto más 19m, sin amigos, fallé en la universidad (escogí la facultad equivocada el año pasado, no sé qué hacer ahora) y sufro de una enfermedad rara (que no se puede curar) también.Lo siento, sólo quiero terminar esto.por favor, ayuda |
Can't Sleep. Nausea due to Anxiety. Why are you awake?I'm having this horrible nausea, almost throw-upy feeling due to anxiety and so, I'm unable to sleep. I was very suicidal today due to me being super stressed out about my life. I'm anxious because I've lost a volunteer opportunity and my car got hit and ran and now I have to see if I can fix the dent. Not only that, I have to focus on university. I am in just in so much physical and emotional pain that I wish I could go into a deep sleep forever, and I just wouldn't have to deal with life anymore. I really wish I didn't fuck up so much all the time. I have such a wonderful boyfriend who is keeping me level but at the same time I just really want to leave the world. I am really tired. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Can't Sleep.Nausea due to Anxiety.Why are you awake?I'm having this horrible nausea, almost throw-upy feeling due to anxiety and so, I'm unable to sleep.I was very suicidal today due to me being super stressed out about my life.I'm anxious because I've lost a volunteer opportunity and my car got hit and ran and now I have to see if I can fix the dent.Not only that, I have to focus on university.I am in just in so much physical and emotional pain that I wish I could go into a deep sleep forever, and I just wouldn't have to deal with life anymore.I really wish I didn't fuck up so much all the time.I have such a wonderful boyfriend who is keeping me level but at the same time I just really want to leave the world.I am really tired."
] | 188 | No puedo dormir.Náuseas debido a la ansiedad.¿Por qué estás despierto?Estoy teniendo esta horrible náusea, casi sensación de vómito debido a la ansiedad y por lo tanto, no puedo dormir.Hoy fui muy suicida debido a que estoy súper estresado por mi vida.Estoy ansioso porque he perdido una oportunidad de voluntariado y mi coche fue golpeado y corrido y ahora tengo que ver si puedo arreglar la abolladura.No sólo eso, tengo que centrarme en la universidad.Estoy en tanto dolor físico y emocional que desearía poder dormir profundamente para siempre, y simplemente no tendría que lidiar con la vida más.Realmente deseo no cagar tanto todo el tiempo.Tengo un novio tan maravilloso que me mantiene a nivel pero al mismo tiempo realmente quiero dejar el mundo. |
Sad Hours For Me I usually just ignore my emotions but people are really getting to me.
I'm also not great at expressing my emotions in any situation.
I know it's all jokes, but it's just digging its way into my brain. | [] | [
"Sad Hours For Me I usually just ignore my emotions but people are really getting to me.I'm also not great at expressing my emotions in any situation.I know it's all jokes, but it's just digging its way into my brain."
] | 53 | Horas Tristes Para Mí Normalmente ignoro mis emociones, pero la gente realmente me está afectando.También no soy muy buena expresando mis emociones en cualquier situación.Sé que son todas bromas, pero es sólo cavar su camino en mi cerebro. |
Awards are stupid. Stop. Awards are bad cause they cost money, and money sucks, stop award or money gone.
Awards are bad, and it should be gone
And that's my talk on how they are bad, thank you for letting me be CEO of Fortnite Skins inc. | [] | [
"Awards are stupid.Stop.Awards are bad cause they cost money, and money sucks, stop award or money gone.Awards are bad, and it should be gone\n\nAnd that's my talk on how they are bad, thank you for letting me be CEO of Fortnite Skins inc."
] | 65 | Los premios son estúpidos.Parar.Los premios son malos porque cuestan dinero, y el dinero apesta, parar el premio o el dinero se ha ido.Los premios son malos, y debería haberse ido Y esa es mi charla sobre cómo son malos, gracias por dejarme ser CEO de Fortnite Skins Inc. |
Anyone in 30s 40s on up...Please tell me what keeps u going in life?
| [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Anyone in 30s 40s on up...Please tell me what keeps u going in life?"
] | 19 | ¿Alguien en los 30's 40's sube... Por favor, dime lo que te mantiene en la vida? |
It's not worth it in the endMaybe it's because i'm off my meds and my depression has come back, but i don't see the point in living. Why try so hard only to die in the end? Life is so insignificant. I don't care anymore. I took pills only to humor others. i'm just here to humor others. I don't know if my plan will be successful. I guess it would depend on how far out i can swim while heavily intoxicated. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"It's not worth it in the endMaybe it's because i'm off my meds and my depression has come back, but i don't see the point in living.Why try so hard only to die in the end?Life is so insignificant.I don't care anymore.I took pills only to humor others.i'm just here to humor others.I don't know if my plan will be successful.I guess it would depend on how far out i can swim while heavily intoxicated."
] | 110 | No vale la pena al final.Tal vez es porque estoy fuera de mis medicamentos y mi depresión ha vuelto, pero no veo el punto en vivir.¿Por qué tratar tan duro sólo para morir al final?La vida es tan insignificante.Ya no me importa.Tomé pastillas sólo para el humor de otros.Estoy aquí sólo para el humor de otros.No sé si mi plan será exitoso.Supongo que dependerá de lo lejos que pueda nadar mientras estoy muy intoxicado. |
Why didn't you kill yourself?A lot of people talk about the reasons why they want to commit suicide… why did you choose to live instead of killing yourself? | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Why didn't you kill yourself?A lot of people talk about the reasons why they want to commit suicide… why did you choose to live instead of killing yourself?"
] | 34 | ¿Por qué no te suicidaste?Mucha gente habla de las razones por las que quieren suicidarse... ¿por qué elegiste vivir en lugar de suicidarte? |
Is there some sort of checklist I can use to make sure everything is taken care of beforehand?I've got around a month before I go, and I want to make sure it's as easy for everyone as possible since I live a state away. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Is there some sort of checklist I can use to make sure everything is taken care of beforehand?I've got around a month before I go, and I want to make sure it's as easy for everyone as possible since I live a state away."
] | 53 | ¿Hay algún tipo de lista de verificación que pueda usar para asegurarme de que todo está cuidado de antemano?Tengo alrededor de un mes antes de irme, y quiero asegurarme de que es tan fácil para todos como sea posible ya que vivo un estado lejos. |
Random Pop quiz kids What kill the dinosaurs? | [] | [
"Random Pop quiz kids What kill the dinosaurs?"
] | 10 | ¿Qué mata a los dinosaurios? |
I demand validation like a child.My problems are insignificant, I'm just a weak fucking piss baby. I'm posting here but I know I'll never really kill myself because I'm such a big bitch. I've always been a pussy about pain, I always given up or taken the easy route when the going gets tough. Half assed attempts in the past, they're right when they say it's for attention, at least in my case. A cry for help, but what the fuck do I need to be saved from? I've got it so easy I don't even know. Am I just every fucking teenager or what? 19 or 18 now, I've actually forgotten, but it's been like this since elementary. Why can't I just be fucking happy? Why do I have to feel like every day is like pulling teeth? I've tried so hard to just pickup my bootstraps, just fake it till you make it. I feel like at some point "grin and bear it" turned into "bear it like you're fucking Jesus dragging the cross". I'm just wasting everyone's time. I've always hated reading other people's long text walls of woes because it always seems like, "what the fuck can I contribute? This person is in such a worse place than I am, what advice could I give other than platitudes and bullshit?" I've never posted anything like this before, but I always come back to the sub, read posts, debate commenting, and think "why?" I always figured I was just some fucking kid with nothing of value to contribute, no reason for even stating my ego inflating opinions. Why should I contribute my say? Who would care? I'm just a horrible, miserable and confused fucking person. I can't just force myself to be happy and trying to "attain" happiness, like its some fucking commodity, is a fantasy pipe dream you see in only in stories. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. Trying to live day to day just isn't working out. Why bother with fucking anything anymore? | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I demand validation like a child.My problems are insignificant, I'm just a weak fucking piss baby.I'm posting herebut I know I'll never really kill myself because I'm such a big bitch.I've always been a pussy about pain, I always given up or taken the easy route when the going gets tough.Half assed attempts in the past, they're right when they say it's for attention, at least in my case.A cry for help, but what the fuck do I need to be saved from?I've got it so easy I don't even know.Am I just every fucking teenager or what?19 or 18 now, I've actually forgotten, but it's been like this since elementary.Why can't I just be fucking happy?Why do I have to feel like every day is like pulling teeth?I've tried so hard to just pickup my bootstraps, just fake it till you make it.I feel like at some point \"grin and bear it\" turned into \"bear it like you're fucking Jesus dragging the cross\".I'm just wasting everyone's time.I've always hated reading other people's long text walls of woes because it always seems like, \"what the fuck can I contribute?This person is in such a worse place than I am, what advice could I give other than platitudes and bullshit?\"",
"I've never posted anything like this before, but I always come back to the sub, read posts, debate commenting, and think \"why?\"I always figured I was just some fucking kid with nothing of value to contribute, no reason for even stating my ego inflating opinions.Why should I contribute my say?Who would care?I'm just a horrible, miserable and confused fucking person.I can't just force myself to be happy and trying to \"attain\" happiness, like its some fucking commodity, is a fantasy pipe dream you see in only in stories.I just don't know what to do with myself anymore.Trying to live day to day just isn't working out.Why bother with fucking anything anymore?"
] | 300 | Exijo la validación como un niño.Mis problemas son insignificantes, sólo soy un bebé débil de mierda.Estoy publicando aquí pero sé que nunca me suicidaré porque soy una perra tan grande.Siempre he sido un coño sobre el dolor, siempre he renunciado o tomado la ruta fácil cuando la marcha se pone dura.En el pasado, tengo la razón cuando dicen que es por atención, al menos en mi caso.Un grito de ayuda, pero ¿de qué mierda tengo que salvarme?Tengo tan fácil que ni siquiera lo sé.¿Estoy solo cada maldito adolescente o qué?19 o 18 ahora, en realidad lo he olvidado, pero ha sido así desde primaria.¿Por qué no puedo estar feliz?Por qué tengo que sentir que cada día es como tirar los dientes?He intentado tan duro para recoger mis trampas, sólo lo he hecho hasta que lo haces. |
Needing helpNot that people give a shit, which is cool and all just need to vent.
I got a text from my gf, or former gf at this point Idk, who has ignored me for the past month and all that went through my mind was damnit what does this bit*h want now, she was my best friend but 🤷♂️, and I legitimately can't handle my emotions being played with on a wim because she is board and lonely. She constantly wants to chat when it is convenient for her. It's fucking with my already screwed mental health issues and sending me back down the spiral into being suicidal again because I can't handle her shit and mine at the same time. Besides she's the only one I have right now because none of my friends are responding, its like I don't exist anymore so I might as well make it so I don't. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Needing helpNot that people give a shit, which is cool and all just need to vent.I got a text from my gf, or former gf at this point Idk, who has ignored me for the past month and all that went through my mind was damnitwhat does this bit*h want now, she was my best friend but 🤷♂️, and I legitimately can't handle my emotions being played with on a wim because she is board and lonely.She constantly wants to chat when it is convenient for her.It's fucking with my already screwed mental health issues and sending me back down the spiral into being suicidal again because I can't handle her shit and mine at the same time.Besides she's the only one I have right now because none of my friends are responding, its like I don't exist anymoreso I might as well make itso I don't."
] | 191 | Necesito ayudaNo es que a la gente le importe una mierda, lo cual es genial y todo lo que necesita para desahogarse.Tengo un mensaje de mi gf, o ex gf en este punto Idk, que me ha ignorado durante el último mes y todo lo que pasó por mi mente era malditamente lo que este bit*h quiere ahora, ella era mi mejor amiga pero , y legítimamente no puedo manejar mis emociones jugando con una wim porque ella está a bordo y sola.Ella constantemente quiere charlar cuando es conveniente para ella.Es joder con mis problemas de salud mental ya jodidos y enviarme de vuelta a la espiral para ser suicida de nuevo porque no puedo manejar su mierda y la mía al mismo tiempo.Además ella es la única que tengo ahora mismo porque ninguno de mis amigos están respondiendo, es como si ya no existiera así que también podría hacer que no lo haga. |
Feel better if you’re rejected I literally just have two simple points.
1- If they said something that made you feel even worse like ‘ew’, then you should be glad they did because you’ve dodged a bullet.
2- Just think for a minute: why do you care that you’ve been rejected? Probably because now it’s gonna be hella awkward when you see them again, right? But if you don’t care you got rejected, it’s not gonna be awkward | [] | [
"Feel better if you’re rejected I literally just have two simple points.1-If they said something that made you feel even worse like ‘ew’, then you should be glad they did because you’ve dodged a bullet.2- Just think for a minute: why do you care that you’ve been rejected?Probably because now it’s gonna be hella awkward when you see them again, right?But if you don’t care you got rejected, it’s not gonna be awkward"
] | 104 | Siéntete mejor si te rechazan, literalmente solo tengo dos puntos simples.1-Si te dijeron algo que te hizo sentir aún peor como ‘w’, entonces deberías alegrarte de que lo hicieran porque has esquivado una bala.2- Piensa por un minuto: ¿por qué te importa que te hayan rechazado?Probablemente porque ahora va a ser un infierno incómodo cuando los veas de nuevo, ¿verdad?Pero si no te importa que te rechacen, no va a ser incómodo |
Daily free hugs #10 Free hugs for men, women, dogs, cats, for everybody and everything in this universe | [] | [
"Daily free hugs #10 Free hugs for men, women, dogs, cats, for everybody and everything in this universe"
] | 26 | Abrazos gratis diarios #10 Abrazos gratis para hombres, mujeres, perros, gatos, para todos y todo en este universo |
Bruh I wanna try sushi so fucking bad That looks absolutely delicious and I’m pretty hungry rn. Oh I wanna try it so bad but I know nothing about it or any good places around me | [] | [
"Bruh I wanna try sushi so fucking badThat looks absolutely delicious and I’m pretty hungry rn.Oh I wanna try it so badbut I know nothing about it or any good places around me"
] | 42 | Bruh Quiero probar el sushi tan jodidamente maloEso se ve absolutamente delicioso y estoy bastante hambriento rn.Oh quiero intentarlo tan mal pero no sé nada de ello ni de ningún lugar bueno a mi alrededor |
I need help.People false accusing me of being a rapist, and God knows what else. I just wanna die, so I came here to seek help. Either help dying or help living, I just don't know what to do. I seriously need help. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I need help.People false accusing me of being a rapist, and God knows what else.I just wanna die, so I came here to seek help.Either help dying or help living, I just don't know what to do.I seriously need help."
] | 56 | Necesito ayuda.La gente me acusa falsamente de ser un violador, y Dios sabe qué más.Solo quiero morir, así que vine aquí a buscar ayuda.O ayudar a morir o ayudar a vivir, simplemente no sé qué hacer.En serio necesito ayuda. |
My brother wants to kill himselfHi, I’m 16 with a twin year old brother who has had multiple breakouts these past years discussing killing himself. I want to be emotionally strong and supportive to help him because I’m too scared to lose my best friend. What do I do please can somebody help? He mentions how suicide isn’t selfish and how it’s just a way to “reset life” and that nobody should be upset. I apologize if this is messy I’m just very conflicted right now and don’t know what to do. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"My brother wants to kill himselfHi, I’m 16 with a twin year old brother who has had multiple breakouts these past years discussing killing himself.I want to be emotionally strong and supportive to help him because I’m too scared to lose my best friend.What do I do please can somebody help?He mentions how suicide isn’t selfish and how it’s just a way to “reset life” and that nobody should be upset.I apologize if this is messy I’m just very conflicted right now and don’t know what to do."
] | 117 | Mi hermano quiere suicidarseHola, tengo 16 años con un hermano gemelo que ha tenido múltiples fugas estos últimos años discutiendo matarse a sí mismo.Quiero ser emocionalmente fuerte y de apoyo para ayudarlo porque estoy demasiado asustado para perder a mi mejor amigo.¿Qué puedo hacer por favor alguien puede ayudar?Él menciona cómo el suicidio no es egoísta y cómo es sólo una manera de “reformar la vida” y que nadie debe estar molesto.Me disculpo si esto es un lío estoy muy en conflicto ahora mismo y no sé qué hacer. |
Since Lightsabers were recently proven to be possible, could the same be said for plasma-based blasters? It may sound impossible, but we said the *same* thing about Lightsabers. | [] | [
"Since Lightsabers were recently proven to be possible, could the same be said for plasma-based blasters?It may sound impossible, but we said the *same* thing about Lightsabers."
] | 44 | Dado que recientemente se demostró que los sables de luz eran posibles, ¿podría decirse lo mismo de los blasters basados en plasma?Puede sonar imposible, pero dijimos lo mismo de los sables de luz. |
Trans "people" don't deserve rights They don't need rights, they need help. Stop trying to enable mental illness.
That's all. | [] | [
"Trans \"people\" don't deserve rights They don't need rights, they need help.Stop trying to enable mental illness.That's all."
] | 32 | Las "personas" trans no merecen derechos No necesitan derechos, necesitan ayuda.Deja de intentar habilitar la enfermedad mental.Eso es todo. |
Having a race prefrence in dating is not racist I mean im white and I would rather date an asian than a white girl does that make me racist against my own race?!?!? | [] | [
"Having a race prefrence in dating is not racist I mean im white and I would rather date an asian than a white girl does that make me racist against my own race?!?!?"
] | 42 | Tener una prefrencia racial en las citas no es racista, quiero decir, im white y preferiría salir con una asiática que con una chica blanca me hace racista contra mi propia raza?!!?? |
Feels like I have nothing to live for anymore.I feel dead already. The only thing that's stopping me is the fact that it's going to hurt and that I may have potential to survive this all until the end and live a good life with somebody who loves/cares for me.
I highly doubt that though.
My mother has verbally abused me (and almost physically) since I was a young teen, about 13-14 years old. Ever since I was that age she has been constantly talking about financial issues, my Dad, our broken family, negative complaints about herself hating life and other bad toxic things, basically manipulating my train of thought all this time and self-esteem.
I feel like an alien among other people my age because I have grown up so sheltered and uneducated. I feel like I'm wasting my time and there's nothing out there for me.
I hate my family, I think they're all disgusting people. I hate my parents, especially my mother. I have like one friend and I most often hate her because she's younger than me and we don't match as people anymore, then one other friend I sleep with of whom will probably drop me due to my boring life and lack of care for things these days.
​
I literally feel like this year is it for me.
I'm a burden and I've been told all I'm good for is child support, because I'm a dependent and my mother just wants the money. I wonder if I killed myself if she'd even get anything anymore.
​
I don't know what I'm saying, I guess. I just want to die. I am so bored with this life, I wish I was dead already. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Feels like I have nothing to live for anymore.I feel dead already.The only thing that's stopping me is the fact that it's going to hurt and that I may have potential to survive this all until the end and live a good life with somebody who loves/cares for me.I highly doubt that though.My mother has verbally abused me (and almost physically) since I was a young teen, about 13-14 years old.Ever since I was that age she has been constantly talking about financial issues, my Dad, our broken family, negative complaints about herself hating life and other bad toxic things, basically manipulating my train of thought all this time and self-esteem.I feel like an alien among other people my age because I have grown up so sheltered and uneducated.I feel like I'm wasting my time and there's nothing out there for me.I hate my family, I think they're all disgusting people.I hate my parents, especially my mother.I have like one friend and I most often hate her because she's younger than me and we don't match as people anymore, then one other friend I sleep with of whom will probably drop me due to my boring life and lack of care for things these days.\n\n​\n\n",
"I literally feel like this year is it for me.I'm a burden and I've been told all I'm good for is child support, because I'm a dependent and my mother just wants the money.I wonder if I killed myself if she'd even get anything anymore.​\n\nI don't know what I'm saying, I guess.I just want to die.I am so bored with this life, I wish I was dead already."
] | 270 | Siento que ya no tengo nada por lo que vivir.Ya me siento muerto.Lo único que me detiene es el hecho de que va a doler y que puedo tener potencial para sobrevivir a todo esto hasta el final y vivir una buena vida con alguien que me ama/a.Lo dudo mucho.Mi madre ha abusado verbalmente de mí (y casi físicamente) desde que era una adolescente, cerca de 13-14 años de edad.Siempre desde que tenía esa edad ha estado hablando constantemente de problemas financieros, mi papá, nuestra familia rota, quejas negativas sobre sí misma odiando la vida y otras cosas tóxicas malas, básicamente manipulando mi tren de pensamiento todo este tiempo y autoestima.Me siento como un alienígena entre otras personas de mi edad porque he crecido tan abrigado y sin educación.Me siento como si estuviera desperdiciando mi tiempo y no hubiera nada ahí fuera para mí.Odio a mi familia, creo que todos son personas repugnantes.Odio a mis padres, especialmente a mi madre.Me siento como si estuviera perdiendo mi tiempo y no hay nada ahí fuera para mí.Odio a mi familia, creo que son personas que son muy desagradables para dormir. |
Had shotgun off safety, in my mouth today.I'm a targeted individual. I've been tortured, followed (from city to city), slandered, attacked by every conceivable mental torture possible. Hearing voices, seeing holograms, robbed of intellectual and physical property. Too long to list.
Add to that my family always being assholes to me because they think I'm crazy. I also bottle up all the things about them that hurt me and drink to feel better, then eventually tell them off.
My brother beat my face for a solid 3 minutes, twice within 15 minutes, for saying shot that was true but he didn't like. That was the day before Thanksgiving 2017. I spent the next three days in bed thinking of how I was going to kill myself. Nobody checked on me.
Now my mother and niece physically attacked me the other day, stole my phone and hid my car key. I lost my job. They think I'm making up what happens to me and the only thing really wrong with me is the drinking.
My sister called the cops on me a few months ago for being suicidal and telling her off. I got a felon with a gun charge. They can give me 5 to 40 years in prison. I'm not going back to fucking prison. I've been before and can't stand being around convicts who actually belong there.
And nobody ever apologized or feels any remorse for the things they do to me.
So I was going to do it today but everyone was coming over tonight, I was trying to hurry but scared. I heard a noise, looked out the window, and it was my mom coming home from church.
So I'm waiting until I know for sure one of my nieces or nephews won't be here when they find me.
| [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Had shotgun off safety, in my mouth today.I'm a targeted individual.I've been tortured, followed (from city to city), slandered, attacked by every conceivable mental torture possible.Hearing voices, seeing holograms, robbed of intellectual and physical property.Too long to list.Add to that my family always being assholes to me because they think I'm crazy.I also bottle up all the things about them that hurt me and drink to feel better, then eventually tell them off.My brother beat my face for a solid 3 minutes, twice within 15 minutes, for saying shot that was true but he didn't like.That was the day before Thanksgiving 2017.I spent the next three days in bed thinking of how I was going to kill myself.Nobody checked on me.Now my mother and niece physically attacked me the other day, stole my phone and hid my car key.I lost my job.They think I'm making up what happens to me and the only thing really wrong with me is the drinking.My sister called the cops on me a few months ago for being suicidal and telling her off.I got a felon with a gun charge.They can give me 5 to 40 years in prison.I'm not going back to fucking prison.",
"I've been before and can't stand being around convicts who actually belong there.And nobody ever apologized or feels any remorse for the things they do to me.So I was going to do it today but everyone was coming over tonight, I was trying to hurry but scared.I heard a noise, looked out the window, and it was my mom coming home from church.So I'm waiting until I know for sure one of my nieces or nephews won't be here when they find me."
] | 267 | Tenía una escopeta de seguridad, en mi boca hoy.Soy un individuo objetivo.He sido torturado, seguido (de ciudad en ciudad), calumniado, atacado por toda tortura mental concebible posible.Escuchando voces, viendo hologramas, robado de propiedad intelectual y física.Demasiado tiempo para enumerar.Agrego que mi familia siempre era gilipollas para mí porque piensan que estoy loco.También embotellé todas las cosas acerca de ellos que me lastimaban y bebían para sentirme mejor, luego finalmente les dije.Mi hermano me golpeó la cara por un sólido 3 minutos, dos veces dentro de 15 minutos, por decir que era cierto pero no le gustó.Ese fue el día antes de Acción de Gracias 2017.Me pasé los siguientes tres días en la cama pensando en cómo me iba a matar.Nadie me verificó la cara.Ahora mi madre y mi sobrina me atacaron físicamente el otro día, me robaron el teléfono y escondieron la llave de mi coche.Perdí mi trabajo.Ellos piensan que me estoy inventando lo que me pasa a mí y lo único que me está mal. |
I feel so awful.I feel so lost in life. I feel hopeless.
I just want to feel good.
I hurt. I hurt inside. I feel like such an outsider.
My vagina is defective. I wish I could have orgasms to feel better, but it just doesn’t happen. I’m in so much pain.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m deficient in every way. Sometimes I emotionally eat to feel better because I can’t find any other high to lift me up but that. I’ve gained weight that I’m trying to lose. I just want to cry. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I feel so awful.I feel so lost in life.I feel hopeless.I just want to feel good.I hurt.I hurt inside.I feel like such an outsider.My vagina is defective.I wish I could have orgasms to feel better, but it just doesn’t happen.I’m in so much pain.I don’t know what’s wrong with me.I’m deficient in every way.Sometimes I emotionally eat to feel better because I can’t find any other high to lift me up but that.I’ve gained weight that I’m trying to lose.I just want to cry."
] | 132 | Me siento tan horrible. Me siento tan perdida en la vida. Me siento desesperada. Sólo quiero sentirme bien. Me duele. Me siento como un extraño. Mi vagina es defectuosa. Me gustaría tener orgasmos para sentirme mejor, pero simplemente no sucede. Estoy en tanto dolor. No sé lo que está mal en mí. Soy deficiente en todos los sentidos. A veces como emocionalmente para sentirme mejor porque no puedo encontrar ningún otro alto para levantarme, pero eso. He ganado peso que estoy tratando de perder. Sólo quiero llorar. |
Can someone buy me sleeping pills and ship them to me so I can die. F14I live in New zealand, I don’t know where to get them, how to get them, or to get away with getting them. Life is so hard, I just want to end it all. I can’t hang myself but I definitely know I will be able to take pills. Someone please just help me die. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Can someone buy me sleeping pills and ship them to me so I can die.F14I live in New zealand, I don’t know where to get them, how to get them, or to get away with getting them.Life is so hard, I just want to end it all.I can’t hang myself but I definitely know I will be able to take pills.Someone please just help me die."
] | 87 | ¿Puede alguien comprarme pastillas para dormir y enviarlos a mí para que pueda morir.F14Vivo en Nuevo celo, no sé dónde conseguirlos, cómo conseguirlos, o para salirse con la suya.La vida es tan difícil, sólo quiero terminar con todo.No puedo colgarme, pero definitivamente sé que voy a ser capaz de tomar píldoras.Alguien por favor me ayuda a morir. |
Teens with Jobs How can this teen get or find a Job?
I been looking for a while and I don't know what to do at this point I'm starting to give up ,and I don't want to give up. If there's any tips, anything you can give me ,any advice I'll be grateful.
And if i do get a job, imma think the random people on reddit | [] | [
"Teens with Jobs How can this teen get or find a Job?\n\nI been looking for a while and I don't know what to do at this point I'm starting to give up ,and I don't want to give up.If there's any tips, anything you can give me ,any advice I'll be grateful.And if i do get a job, imma think the random people on reddit"
] | 91 | Adolescentes con trabajos ¿Cómo puede este adolescente conseguir o encontrar un trabajo? He estado buscando por un tiempo y no sé qué hacer en este punto estoy empezando a dar para arriba, y no quiero renunciar.Si hay algún consejo, cualquier cosa que me puede dar, cualquier consejo que voy a estar agradecido.Y si consigo un trabajo, Imma piensa que la gente al azar en reddit |
No one cares.I'm at the point where i have no freinds, parents don't care, and no hope of a romantic relationship because of low self esteem and confidence due to bipolar disorder. All the things I like to do alone are bad for my health. All I really want is for someone to care about my wellbeing.
I've tried joining clubs and groups around my area; they all suck, and the places you go to make freinds attract the most annoying, antisocial people - even I wouldn't hang out with some of these people who can't formulate a complete sentence.
Eveyone I know is having a great time - except for me. No one even bothers to like or comment on my facebook statuses anymore... which makes me seem even more of a loser. Please, is it too much to ask for one person? | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"No one cares.I'm at the point where i have no freinds, parents don't care, and no hope of a romantic relationship because of low self esteem and confidence due to bipolar disorder.All the things I like to do alone are bad for my health.All I really want is for someone to care about my wellbeing.I've tried joining clubs and groups around my area; they all suck, and the places you go to make freinds attract the most annoying, antisocial people - even I wouldn't hang out with some of these people who can't formulate a complete sentence.Eveyone I know is having a great time - except for me.No one even bothers to like or comment on my facebook statuses anymore... which makes me seem even more of a loser.Please, is it too much to ask for one person?"
] | 184 | A nadie le importa.Estoy en el punto donde no tengo freinds, a los padres no les importa, y no hay esperanza de una relación romántica debido a la baja autoestima y la confianza debido al trastorno bipolar.Todas las cosas que me gusta hacer solo son malas para mi salud.Todo lo que realmente quiero es que alguien se preocupe por mi bienestar.He intentado unirme a clubes y grupos alrededor de mi área; todos apestan, y los lugares a los que vas a hacer freinds atraen a las personas más molestas y antisociales - incluso yo no me quedaría con algunas de estas personas que no pueden formular una frase completa.Eveyone que conozco es pasar un buen rato - excepto yo.Nadie se molesta en gustar o comentar más en mis estados de facebook... lo que me hace parecer aún más perdedor.Por favor, ¿es demasiado pedir a una persona? |
If anyone feeling sad hit me up. And by that I mean chat me and I will try to cheer you up.
Empathize the word TRY. | [] | [
"If anyone feeling sad hit me up.And by that I mean chat meand I will try to cheer you up.Empathize the word TRY."
] | 33 | Si alguien se siente triste me golpeó up.Y con eso quiero decir charla significa que voy a tratar de animarte.Empatizar la palabra TIR. |
I cant live in this house anymoreAnd im ruining my familys life actually.....
I need to move away from the house.. but I meed to live amongst people.... homeless... or somethinf.. or in a mental home... or assistant livi g as long as I go to treatments or someshit...
Im crazy no help for me... | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I cant live in this houseanymoreAnd im ruining my familys life actually.....I need to move away from the house..but I meed to live amongst people....homeless... or somethinf.. or in a mental home... or assistant livi g as long as I go to treatments or someshit...Im crazy no help for me..."
] | 80 | No puedo vivir en esta casa ya y estoy arruinando la vida de mi familia en realidad... necesito mudarme lejos de la casa... pero me decidí a vivir entre la gente... sin hogar... o algo así... o en un hogar mental... o asistente de livi g siempre y cuando vaya a tratamientos o algo así... no estoy loco de ninguna ayuda para mí... |
I'm so tired and I feel like I don't even know myself.I'm so tired of the cycle of a coin flip to see if i'll be happy or miserable the next day. I self harmed today when I havent in weeks.
I'm tired of feeling like a failure, burden, and a "leech" to my parents and friends.
I'm tired of feeling like there's someone else controlling my emotions where they flip a switch from me feeling okay to miserable. I started therapy and It's only making me feel like more of a burden due to costs.
I'm tired of my mind treating me as a bully, constant insults and telling me to kill myself.
Im tired of having to write posts in r/suicidewatch. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I'm so tired and I feel like I don't even know myself.I'm so tired of the cycle of a coin flip to see if i'll be happy or miserable the next day.I self harmed today when I havent in weeks.I'm tired of feeling like a failure, burden, and a \"leech\" to my parents and friends.I'm tired of feeling like there's someone else controlling my emotions where they flip a switch from me feeling okay to miserable.I started therapy and It's only making me feel like more of a burden due to costs.I'm tired of my mind treating me as a bully, constant insults and telling me to kill myself.Im tired of having to write posts in r/suicidewatch."
] | 165 | Estoy tan cansado y siento que ni siquiera me conozco a mí mismo.Estoy tan cansado del ciclo de un giro de moneda para ver si seré feliz o miserable al día siguiente.Me lastimé a mí mismo hoy cuando no lo he hecho en semanas.Estoy cansado de sentirme como un fracaso, carga, y un "leech" a mis padres y amigos.Estoy cansado de sentir que hay alguien más controlando mis emociones donde me cambian de sentirme bien a miserable.Comencé la terapia y sólo me hace sentir más como una carga debido a los costos.Estoy cansado de que mi mente me trate como un matón, insultos constantes y diciéndome que me mate.Estoy cansado de tener que escribir posts en r/suicidiowatch. |
What would you buy at a school store? Im working on a project for school. I am helping set up a school store selling things we can 3d print. What would you buy that we can 3d print? | [] | [
"What would you buy at a school store?Im working on a project for school.I am helping set up a school store selling things we can 3d print.What would you buy that we can 3d print?"
] | 45 | ¿Qué comprarías en una tienda de la escuela?Estoy trabajando en un proyecto para la escuela.Estoy ayudando a establecer una tienda de la escuela vendiendo cosas que podemos imprimir en 3D.¿Qué comprarías que podemos imprimir en 3D? |
Hey, anyone here to talk?I can't find a chat and my local suicide hotline won't pick up as it's 4:42 AM in the morning.
I really need to just talk it out. My head is spinning as I write this and only want a hand to overcome this moment. I'm super scared to hurt myself. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Hey, anyone here to talk?I can't find a chat and my local suicide hotline won't pick up as it's 4:42 AM in the morning.I really need to just talk it out.My head is spinning as I write this and only want a hand to overcome this moment.I'm super scared to hurt myself."
] | 71 | Oye, ¿hay alguien aquí para hablar?No puedo encontrar una charla y mi línea directa local de suicidio no contestará ya que son las 4:42 de la mañana.Realmente necesito hablarlo.Mi cabeza está girando mientras escribo esto y solo quiero una mano para superar este momento.Estoy súper asustada de hacerme daño. |
I just tried to kill myself, but I backed out at the last secondI'm 19, I've struggled with mental health issues my whole life, I think a lot of it stems from my mom abandoning me when I was younger. Around 7ish months ago I met a girl. I fell in love and I thought it was finally getting better. Two months ago we broke up. A week after that my grandma died. Around 30 mins ago I tied a bad around my head to off myself. I started to not be able to breath and at first I was okay with it. I was ready. But then I started to panic, I was scared and idk y. I cut the bag open what felt like right before I was about to pass out. I can't even off myself right. Maybe I'll use a gun next time. Why can't I even fucking kill my self right (this is a side account Bc one of my friends knows my main account) | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I just tried to kill myself, but I backed out at the last secondI'm 19, I've struggled with mental health issues my whole life, I think a lot of it stems from my mom abandoning me when I was younger.Around 7ish months ago I met a girl.I fell in love and I thought it was finally getting better.Two months ago we broke up.A week after that my grandma died.Around 30 mins ago I tied a bad around my head to off myself.I started to not be able to breath and at first I was okay with it.I was ready.But then I started to panic, I was scared and idk y. I cut the bag open what felt like right before I was about to pass out.I can't even off myself right.Maybe I'll use a gun next time.Why can't I even fucking kill my self right (this is a side account Bc one of my friends knows my main account)"
] | 205 | Acabo de tratar de suicidarme, pero me retiré en el último segundo, tengo 19 años, he luchado con problemas de salud mental toda mi vida, creo que mucho de esto proviene de mi madre que me abandonó cuando era más joven.Hace unos 7 meses conocí a una chica.Me enamoré y pensé que finalmente estaba mejorando.Hace dos meses rompimos.Una semana después de que mi abuela murió.Hace unos 30 minutos me até una mala cabeza a mí mismo.Empecé a no ser capaz de respirar y al principio estaba bien con él.Estaba lista.Pero entonces empecé a entrar en pánico, me asusté e idk y. Corté la bolsa abierta lo que se sentía justo antes de que yo estuviera a punto de desmayarme.No puedo ni siquiera salir de mi cuenta principal.Tal vez use una pistola la próxima vez.Por qué ni siquiera puedo matarme a mí mismo (esta es una cuenta lateral Bc uno de mis amigos conoce mi cuenta principal) |
Anyone wanna talk? (F14) I’m kinda scared rn and need something to distract myself also please don’t be a fucking creep | [] | [
"Anyone wanna talk?(F14) I’m kinda scared rn and need something to distract myself also please don’t be a fucking creep"
] | 29 | ¿Alguien quiere hablar? (F14) Estoy un poco asustado rn y necesito algo para distraerme también por favor no ser un maldito asqueroso |
They say more than one waifu will ruin your laifu But I can’t decide between a dozen anime girls | [] | [
"They say more than one waifu will ruin your laifuBut I can’t decide between a dozen anime girls"
] | 26 | Dicen que más de un waifu arruinará tu laifu Pero no puedo decidir entre una docena de chicas anime |
Told my parents I want to kill myself. They told me it’s just a phase and I’ll grow out of it. Might actually do it now.Please help | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Told my parents I want to kill myself.They told me it’s just a phase and I’ll grow out of it.Might actually do it now.Please help"
] | 36 | Les dije a mis padres que quería suicidarme.Me dijeron que era sólo una fase y que crecería fuera de ella.Puede que lo haga ahora.Por favor, ayúdeme. |
Seeking interaction Hello there *insert Obi Wan meme here*. I'm Dani (pronounced Donnie) and I'm looking for people to talk to. My social life if find but I like meeting new people. I know this sounds creepy so I won't be offended if you (the reader) declines. | [] | [
"Seeking interaction Hello there *insert Obi Wan meme here*.I'm Dani (pronounced Donnie) and I'm looking for people to talk to.My social life if find but I like meeting new people.I know this sounds creepyso I won't be offended if you (the reader) declines."
] | 71 | Buscando interacción Hola allí *insérteme Obi Wan meme aquí*.Soy Dani (pronunciado Donnie) y estoy buscando gente con quien hablar.Mi vida social si lo encuentras pero me gusta conocer gente nueva.Sé que esto suena espeluznante así que no me ofenderé si tu (el lector) declina. |
“Suicide it too hard to commit”Watch me. Got a freshly sharpened 5 inch blade and a neck. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"“Suicide it too hard to commit”Watch me.Got a freshly sharpened 5 inch blade and a neck."
] | 28 | “Suicide demasiado duro para cometer” Mírame.Tienes una hoja recién afilada de 5 pulgadas y un cuello. |
I'm DoneEverything is horrible. I'm a broken mess. Everything that has gone wrong is my fault. I can't love myself. I can't tell anyone. I can't get help. I've fucked up everything so badly there's no hope in fix it. Time is an illusion. Life has no meaning. I've been battling my own death for 3 years. I'm a mistake. I'm a cosmic joke. I'm asexual. I can't do anything right. I'm non-binary agender. I can't do anything right. I'm bad and I know it's true. People try to help me an I push them away. I don't deserve your energy, because I'm a black hole. I'm tired all the time. I'm 19 and I failed my first year of college because I couldn't even get out of bed in the morning. Now I have debt. I have no job because I'm afraid of failing at that too. If I get a job and it goes horribly like everything else I wouldn't survive it. It's lose-lose situation. I FAILED. It's over. People trusted in me. People believed in me. And I FAILED. I'm a speck, on a smudge, on a particle, on a grain of sand, on a beach, among billions of beaches, so what does anything matter anyway. I'm done. I wish I'd never been conceived. I'm gonna fix that mistake. Fuck this reality. I hope it was all a simulation, because then it might make sense why my life has been such a sick cosmic joke. Goodbye everyone who knew me, but never knew me. You know nothing about me, and maybe that's all by design. This is it for me. I've had the rope for years. I'm done. Life is suffering. I'm killing myself. It's finally happening. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I'm DoneEverything is horrible.I'm a broken mess.Everything that has gone wrong is my fault.I can't love myself.I can't tell anyone.I can't get help.I've fucked up everything so badly there's no hope in fix it.Time is an illusion.Life has no meaning.I've been battling my own death for 3 years.I'm a mistake.I'm a cosmic joke.I'm asexual.I can't do anything right.I'm non-binary agender.I can't do anything right.I'm badand I know it's true.People try to help me an I push them away.I don't deserve your energy, because I'm a black hole.I'm tired all the time.I'm 19 and I failed my first year of college because I couldn't even get out of bed in the morning.Now I have debt.I have no job because I'm afraid of failing at that too.If I get a job and it goes horribly like everything else I wouldn't survive it.It's lose-lose situation.I FAILED.It's over.People trusted in me.People believed in me.And I FAILED.I'm a speck, on a smudge, on a particle, on a grain of sand, on a beach, among billions of beaches, so what does anything matter anyway.I'm done.I wish I'd never been conceived.I'm gonna fix that mistake.Fuck this reality.",
"I hope it was all a simulation, because then it might make sense why my life has been such a sick cosmic joke.Goodbye everyone who knew me, but never knew me.You know nothing about me, and maybe that's all by design.This is it for me.I've had the rope for years.I'm done.Life is suffering.I'm killing myself.It's finally happening."
] | 347 | Estoy hechoTodo es horrible.Soy un desastre roto.Todo lo que ha ido mal es mi culpa.No puedo amarme a mí mismo.No puedo decirle a nadie.No puedo conseguir ayuda.He jodido todo tan mal que no hay esperanza en arreglarlo.El tiempo es una ilusión.La vida no tiene sentido.He estado luchando contra mi propia muerte durante 3 años.Soy un error.Soy una broma cósmica.Soy asexual.No puedo hacer nada bien.Soy un género no binario.No puedo hacer nada bien.Soy malo y sé que es verdad.La gente trata de ayudarme a salir de la cama por la mañana.No merezco tu energía, porque soy un agujero negro.Estoy cansado todo el tiempo.Tengo 19 años y fallé mi primer año de universidad porque no podía ni siquiera ir a la cama en la mañana.Ahora tengo una deuda.Yo no tengo trabajo porque tengo miedo de fallar en eso también.Si consigo un trabajo y nunca va a perder todo lo que sea posible. |
Should I Stay?Or should I go?
I'm so fucked up I'd be better off if I didn't exist | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Should I Stay?Or should I go?I'm so fucked up I'd be better off if I didn't exist"
] | 27 | ¿Debo quedarme?¿O debo ir?Estoy tan jodido que estaría mejor si no existiera |
Sick of everythingI'm suppose to go visit my friend this weekend who lives two hours away - and I keep thinking of the drove home about just ending it by aiming for a tree and hitting the gas. I can't stand everything right now. I just really want a reset button but I can't so I have to deal with it but I've been dealing with it for years and I can't take it anymore. It's one thing after another and it piles up. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Sick of everythingI'm suppose to go visit my friend this weekend who lives two hours away - and I keep thinking of the drove home about just ending it by aiming for a tree and hitting the gas.I can't stand everything right now.I just really want a reset buttonbut I can't so I have to deal with itbut I've been dealing with it for yearsand I can't take it anymore.It's one thing after another and it piles up."
] | 102 | Estoy harto de todoSe supone que voy a visitar a mi amigo este fin de semana que vive a dos horas de distancia - y sigo pensando en el camino a casa sólo para terminar con un objetivo para un árbol y golpear el gas.No puedo soportar todo en este momento.Sólo quiero un botón de reinicio, pero no puedo así que tengo que lidiar con él, pero he estado lidiando con él durante años y no puedo soportarlo más.Es una cosa tras otra y se acumula. |
Really looking to have a real discussion about a lot of the issues I'm facingTonight is not necessarily a major crisis, so if you have limited time or attention then definitely direct it elsewhere, but I really want to talk to someone. Must be PM though, I want to keep the issues private | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Really looking to have a real discussion about a lot of the issues I'm facingTonight is not necessarily a major crisis, so if you have limited time or attention then definitely direct it elsewhere, but I really want to talk to someone.Must be PM though, I want to keep the issues private"
] | 62 | Realmente buscando tener una discusión real sobre muchos de los temas que estoy enfrentandoEsta noche no es necesariamente una crisis importante, así que si usted tiene tiempo limitado o atención, entonces definitivamente dirigirlo a otro lugar, pero realmente quiero hablar con alguien.Debe ser PM, sin embargo, quiero mantener los temas privados |
Fuck this life. Fuck trying. Created this account just to say goodbye.Long time redditor, and lurker in suicide watch. I attempted suicide last year, pretty close to this time. Thought my life was falling apart...ha! I had no idea how bad it could get.
I'm about to be evicted. I've lost out on two good paying jobs now. My girlfriend lives in another state, and is struggling hardcore herself...and I can't even support her.
I have no family here. I have no family within 2000 miles. My ex wife won't even check on the kids, let alone give me child support. she's too busy snorting her money up her nose.
I give up. I have nothing to sell. My vehicle is dying. I have no support from anyone. I just can't. I've failed at life. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Fuck this life.Fuck trying.Created this account just to say goodbye.Long time redditor, and lurker in suicide watch.I attempted suicide last year, pretty close to this time.Thought my life was falling apart...ha!I had no idea how bad it could get.I'm about to be evicted.I've lost out on two good paying jobs now.My girlfriend lives in another state, and is struggling hardcore herself...and I can't even support her.I have no family here.I have no family within 2000 miles.My ex wife won't even check on the kids, let alone give me child support.she's too busy snorting her money up her nose.I give up.I have nothing to sell.My vehicle is dying.I have no support from anyone.I just can't.I've failed at life."
] | 191 | A la mierda esta vida.A la mierda intentándolo.Creado esta cuenta sólo para decir adiós. Redditor de mucho tiempo, y acechar en reloj de suicidio.Intenté suicidarme el año pasado, bastante cerca de esta vez.Pensé que mi vida se estaba desmoronando...ja!No tenía idea de lo malo que podría ser.Estoy a punto de ser desalojado.Ahora he perdido en dos buenos trabajos de pago.Mi novia vive en otro estado, y está luchando duro ella misma...y ni siquiera puedo mantenerla.No tengo familia aquí.No tengo familia dentro de 2000 millas.Mi ex esposa ni siquiera comprobará a los niños, y mucho menos me dará manutención infantil.Ella está demasiado ocupada roncando su dinero en su nariz.Me rindo.No tengo nada que vender.Mi vehículo está muriendo.No tengo apoyo de nadie. |
I can't go on any longerI'm so sick of this, so fucking sick of this. I actually hated my therapist and forced myself to see her because I'd get my medication and let it do its job. Stopped seeing her, I'll take someone else. She was cold and I felt like she really didn't give a fuck. I'll call my family doctor to see if he can prescribe me some stuff, because I had to stop my treatment. Ran out of pills.
So many bottled up feelings inside of me. I want to put them out, ALL of them. I feel like I'm falling apart day by day, my creativity is blocked despite having plenty of ideas, I just can't get to do them. I can't confess to my best friend because I'm afraid I might lose her friendship, especially since she's got a boyfriend. I left many of my old friends because those assholes left me right when I needed them, and despite talking it out with them, I can't fucking go back to them like I used to. I met new people, but I can't get myself to truly go towards them. I don't want this anymore. I don't want to trust people, and have them care more about the death of a fucking idol than about their depressed friend.
The true reason why I'm currently seeing family is that I don't want to be alone. I'm afraid I might do something stupid if I stay in my dorm room. I just want someone to hold me and tell me it's okay. Let me cry in their arms. Listen to me. I can't show this part of myself to people because depressed people like me become a huge pressure. They usually leave right after. One of my friends did, and it was the last time I came close to suicide.
I'm sick in the head. I'm shattered inside. I feel things I have no right to feel. I'm a mess. A fucking mess. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I can't go on any longerI'm so sick of this, so fucking sick of this.I actually hated my therapist and forced myself to see her because I'd get my medication and let it do its job.Stopped seeing her, I'll take someone else.She was cold and I felt like she really didn't give a fuck.I'll call my family doctor to see if he can prescribe me some stuff, because I had to stop my treatment.Ran out of pills.So many bottled up feelings inside of me.I want to put them out, ALL of them.I feel like I'm falling apart day by day, my creativity is blocked despite having plenty of ideas, I just can't get to do them.I can't confess to my best friend because I'm afraid I might lose her friendship, especially since she's got a boyfriend.I left many of my old friends because those assholes left me right when I needed them, and despite talking it out with them, I can't fucking go back to them like I used to.I met new people, but I can't get myself to truly go towards them.I don't want this anymore.I don't want to trust people, and have them care more about the death of a fucking idol than about their depressed friend.The true reason why I'm currently seeing family is that I don't want to be alone.",
"I'm afraid I might do something stupid if I stay in my dorm room.I just want someone to hold me and tell me it's okay.Let me cry in their arms.Listen to me.I can't show this part of myself to people because depressed people like me become a huge pressure.They usually leave right after.One of my friends did, and it was the last time I came close to suicide.I'm sick in the head.I'm shattered inside.I feel things I have no right to feel.I'm a mess.A fucking mess."
] | 303 | No puedo seguir adelante con esto, así que estoy harto de esto.De hecho, odiaba a mi terapeuta y me obligué a verla porque iba a tomar mi medicación y dejar que hiciera su trabajo.Dejé de verla, tomaré a alguien más.Ella tenía frío y sentí que realmente no le importaba una mierda.Llamaré a mi médico de familia para ver si podía recetarme algunas cosas, porque tenía que dejar de tomarme las pastillas.No puedo confesar a mi mejor amiga porque tengo miedo de perder su amistad, sobre todo porque ella tiene novio.Dejé a muchos de mis viejos amigos porque esos imbéciles me dejaron justo cuando los necesitaba, y a pesar de hablar con ellos, no puedo volver a ellos como si tuviera novio.Dejé a muchos de mis viejos amigos porque esos imbéciles me dejaron con ellos.No puedo confesar a mi mejor amiga porque me temo que podría perder su amistad, sobre todo porque ella tiene novio. |
I'm Done [m16]I've recently returned from a certain summer camp (which will remain unnamed so I don't end up hunted down and thrown in a padded room) and it was a generally good if not underwhelming experience, but it was the only thing I've cared about for the past year. Without that to look forward to my life is back to its typical aimlessness. I'm back to hating everybody I talk to and feeling only fleeting instances of an emotion that could only loosely be described as positive. I'm posting here because I'm too lazy to write a note and don't care enough about anyone to address it to them, so I felt obligated to let a few strangers on the Internet know. The shotgun is calling me. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I'm Done [m16]I've recently returned from a certain summer camp (which will remain unnamed so I don't end up hunted down and thrown in a padded room) and it was a generally good if not underwhelming experience, but it was the only thing I've cared about for the past year.Without that to look forward to my life is back to its typical aimlessness.I'm back to hating everybody I talk to and feeling only fleeting instances of an emotion that could only loosely be described as positive.I'm posting here because I'm too lazy to write a note and don't care enough about anyone to address it to them, so I felt obligated to let a few strangers on the Internet know.The shotgun is calling me."
] | 169 | Estoy hecho [m16]Recientemente he regresado de un cierto campamento de verano (que permanecerá sin nombre por lo que no termino cazado y tirado en una habitación acolchada) y fue una experiencia generalmente buena si no desmesurada, pero fue la única cosa que me ha importado durante el año pasado.Sin eso, mirar hacia adelante a mi vida es volver a su típica falta de objetivo.Estoy de vuelta a odiar a todos con los que hablo y sentir sólo casos fugaces de una emoción que sólo se podría describir vagamente como positiva.Estoy publicando aquí porque soy demasiado perezoso para escribir una nota y no me importa lo suficiente de nadie para dirigirla a ellos, así que me sentí obligado a dejar que algunos extraños en Internet lo supieran.La escopeta me está llamando. |
can't see myself living in the next few monthsI don't want to take my own life as it'll cause extreme misery to my family, parents in particular, but I also cannot imagine living through the next few months, much less years... I hate thinking this way but sometimes I just wished I could be knocked down by a car or contract a life-threatening illness, basically cease to exist. I feel as if I'm a failed person/adult, who never really grew up or matured as everyone else did. I'm way behind my peers in terms of career, socializing and life in general. I lack confidence in everything I do, even in simple basic things. I don't understand how this life works and I feel like I never will. And I know that it won't make a difference to the world if I wasn't here anyway, their lives would probably be better off without the burden and trouble that is me. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"can't see myself living in the next few monthsI don't want to take my own life as it'll cause extreme misery to my family, parents in particular, but I also cannot imagine living through the next few months, much less years...I hate thinking this way but sometimes I just wished I could be knocked down by a car or contract a life-threatening illness, basically cease to exist.I feel as if I'm a failed person/adult, who never really grew up or matured as everyone else did.I'm way behind my peers in terms of career, socializing and life in general.I lack confidence in everything I do, even in simple basic things.I don't understand how this life works and I feel like I never will.And I know that it won't make a difference to the world if I wasn't here anyway, their lives would probably be better off without the burden and trouble that is me."
] | 198 | No puedo verme viviendo en los próximos meses.No quiero quitarme la vida, ya que causará miseria extrema a mi familia, a mis padres en particular, pero tampoco puedo imaginarme viviendo durante los próximos meses, mucho menos años... Odio pensar de esta manera, pero a veces solo deseo que me derriben un coche o que me contraigan una enfermedad que ponga en peligro mi vida, básicamente dejar de existir.Siento como si fuera una persona/adulto fracasado, que nunca creció o maduró como todos los demás.Estoy muy por detrás de mis compañeros en términos de carrera, socialización y vida en general.Me falta confianza en todo lo que hago, incluso en las cosas básicas simples.No entiendo cómo funciona esta vida y siento que nunca lo haré.Y sé que no hará ninguna diferencia para el mundo si de todos modos no estuviera aquí, sus vidas probablemente estarían mejor sin la carga y los problemas que soy. |
My friend told me she made a suicide noteMy friend had attempted suicide thrice this year. I'm practically 1000 miles away from her and I can't go there to make sure that everything's OK. I'm scared that after telling me her about her suicide note, she'll feel more compelled to carry it out. She's been my support system when I hit rock bottom and a reason for me to keep trying on living. I really don't know what I'll do if she dies.
I don't know how to tell her she's a strong and beautiful person, that she's worth it, that I love her no matter how bad things get. It's hard to voice them out in messages and not sound like I'm just telling those as some other feel good compliments and I don't mean any of it. I can't make her call the national hotline because she absolutely hates making a phone call when she's crying, I can't force her to see a psychologist or go to a hospital because she couldn't afford it and I'm only making things worse to her financially. I'm so lost at what I'd do if she attempted again | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"My friend told me she made a suicide noteMy friend had attempted suicide thrice this year.I'm practically 1000 miles away from her and I can't go there to make sure that everything's OK.I'm scared that after telling me her about her suicide note, she'll feel more compelled to carry it out.She's been my support system when I hit rock bottom and a reason for me to keep trying on living.I really don't know what I'll do if she dies.I don't know how to tell her she's a strong and beautiful person, that she's worth it, that I love her no matter how bad things get.It's hard to voice them out in messages and not sound like I'm just telling those as some other feel good compliments and I don't mean any of it.I can't make her call the national hotline because she absolutely hates making a phone call when she's crying, I can't force her to see a psychologist or go to a hospital because she couldn't afford itand I'm only making things worse to her financially.I'm so lost at what I'd do if she attempted again"
] | 253 | Mi amiga me dijo que hizo una nota de suicidio.Mi amiga había intentado suicidarse tres veces este año.Estoy prácticamente a 1000 millas de ella y no puedo ir allí para asegurarme de que todo está bien.Tengo miedo de que después de hablarme de su nota de suicidio, se sienta más obligada a llevarla a cabo.Ella ha sido mi sistema de apoyo cuando golpeo fondo y una razón para seguir intentando vivir.Realmente no sé lo que haré si muere.No sé cómo decirle que es una persona fuerte y hermosa, que vale la pena, que la amo sin importar lo mal que se pongan las cosas.Es muy difícil expresarlas en mensajes y no suena como si solo las estuviera diciendo como otros sienten buenos cumplidos y no quiero decir nada de eso.No puedo hacer que llame a la línea telefónica nacional porque odia absolutamente hacer una llamada telefónica cuando llora, no puedo obligarla a ver a una psicóloga o ir a un hospital porque no podía permitírselo y solo estoy haciendo cosas peores para ella financieramente. |
“Why ____ anymore, I’m just gonna kill myself.”“Why do laundry anymore, I’m just gonna kill myself.”
“Why clean anymore, I’m just gonna kill myself.”
“Why go to class anymore, I’m just gonna kill myself.”
“Why get out of bed anymore, I’m just gonna kill myself.”
“Why dress nicely anymore, I’m just gonna kill myself.”
“Why talk to anyone anymore, I’m just gonna kill myself.”
“Why take care of myself anymore, I’m just gonna kill myself.”
On a constant loop all day long | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"“Why ____anymore, I’m just gonna kill myself.”“Whydo laundry anymore, I’m just gonna kill myself.”\n\n“Why clean anymore, I’m just gonna kill myself.”\n\n“Why go to class anymore, I’m just gonna kill myself.”\n\n“Why get out of bed anymore, I’m just gonna kill myself.”“Why dress nicely anymore, I’m just gonna kill myself.”\n\n“Why talk to anyone anymore, I’m just gonna kill myself.”“Why take care of myself anymore, I’m just gonna kill myself.”On a constant loop all day long"
] | 125 | “Por qué ___ ya más, me voy a suicidar”. “Por qué lavar la ropa, me voy a suicidar”. “Por qué limpiar más, me voy a suicidar”. “Por qué ir a clase más, me voy a suicidar”. “Por qué salir de la cama más, me voy a suicidar”. “Por qué vestirme bien más, me voy a suicidar”. “Por qué hablar con alguien más, me voy a suicidar”. “Por qué cuidar de mí mismo más, me voy a suicidar”. |
Question of the day, what would you do if someone from your school found out about your Reddit account? Honestly if you’re asking me, I off myself the internet entirely because everybody will be simping for my husband and I’m the only one that deserves him 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔 | [] | [
"Question of the day, what would you do if someone from your school found out about your Reddit account?Honestly if you’re asking me, I off myself the internet entirely because everybody will be simping for my husband and I’m the only one that deserves him 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔"
] | 61 | Pregunta del día, ¿qué haría usted si alguien de su escuela se enteró de su cuenta de Reddit?Honestamente si usted me está preguntando, me desvié de mí mismo por completo el Internet porque todo el mundo va a ser simular para mi marido y yo soy el único que se lo merece |
Help?The only two things keeping me from ending it all today are the fear of not succeeding, if I try, and to hurt the people I'd leave behind. I don't want them to blame themselves. I don't know why I make this post. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Help?The only two things keeping me from ending it all today are the fear of not succeeding, if I try, and to hurt the people I'd leave behind.I don't want them to blame themselves.I don't know why I make this post."
] | 57 | ¿Ayudar?Las únicas dos cosas que me impiden terminar todo hoy son el miedo de no tener éxito, si lo intento, y herir a la gente que dejaría atrás.No quiero que se culpen a sí mismos.No sé por qué hago este post. |
My favourite season of the year is winter In my country (Aussie land) the winter temperatures are just perfect. It’s currently 31c and I’m burning inside as I lay upside down on my couch | [] | [
"My favourite season of the year is winter In my country (Aussie land) the winter temperatures are just perfect.It’s currently 31c and I’m burning inside as I lay upside down on my couch"
] | 44 | Mi estación favorita del año es el invierno En mi país (tierra australiana) las temperaturas del invierno son perfectas. Actualmente es 31c y estoy ardiendo por dentro mientras me acuesto boca abajo en mi sofá |
No more art on this subreddit? Not sure if this was a recent thing or if I just broke a rule or something, but I can’t post any art here anymore? | [] | [
"No more art on this subreddit?Not sure if this was a recent thing or if I just broke a rule or something, but I can’t post any art here anymore?"
] | 39 | ¿No sé si esto fue algo reciente o si acabo de romper una regla o algo así, pero ya no puedo publicar ningún arte aquí? |
My therapist cut me off and it’s got me suicidalI was seeing her pretty consistently this whole year, and I’ve been doing very intense work on my trauma. However, I had a habit of not showing up to sessions sometimes due to my depression. This whole year I was going consistently, and it’s helped a lot.
In the past three weeks, I did not show up because my depression was going off the rails, and I had no energy.
I was attempting to reach her the past few days to set up an appointment, and she finally got back to me telling me that she’s going to have to stop seeing me due to my inconsistency.
I’m really crushed and just broken down because of this. My suicidal thoughts and ideations have been increasing in intensity the past three months, but now I would say I’m at a 9.2/10 in terms of wanting to end it. I realized that I should’ve honored my appointments, but I just feel so damn worthless now that even my therapist cuts me off.
Sorry. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"My therapist cut me off and it’s got me suicidalI was seeing her pretty consistently this whole year, and I’ve been doing very intense work on my trauma.However, I had a habit of not showing up to sessions sometimes due to my depression.This whole year I was going consistently, and it’s helped a lot.In the past three weeks, I did not show up because my depression was going off the rails, and I had no energy.I was attempting to reach her the past few days to set up an appointment, and she finally got back to me telling me that she’s going to have to stop seeing me due to my inconsistency.I’m really crushed and just broken down because of this.My suicidal thoughts and ideations have been increasing in intensity the past three months, but now I would say I’m at a 9.2/10 in terms of wanting to end it.I realized that I should’ve honored my appointments, but I just feel so damn worthless now that even my therapist cuts me off.Sorry."
] | 215 | Mi terapeuta me cortó y me hizo suicidarme.Estaba viéndola bastante consistentemente todo este año, y he estado haciendo un trabajo muy intenso en mi trauma.Sin embargo, tenía el hábito de no aparecer a veces a sesiones debido a mi depresión.Todo este año iba consistentemente, y me ha ayudado mucho.En las últimas tres semanas, no aparecí porque mi depresión se estaba descontrolando, y no tenía energía.Estaba tratando de llegar a ella los últimos días para establecer una cita, y finalmente volvió a decirme que iba a tener que dejar de verme debido a mi inconsistencia.Estoy realmente aplastada y acaba de romperse debido a esto.Mis pensamientos e ideas suicidas han estado aumentando en intensidad en los últimos tres meses, pero ahora diría que estoy en un 9.2/10 en términos de querer terminarlo.Me di cuenta de que debería haber honrado mis citas, pero ahora me siento tan jodidamente inútil que incluso mi terapeuta me corte.Lo siento. |
I don’t want to live anymoreI just want to die I’m so tired. I try hard and I try my best but I fail every time. I’m just too tired. Everyday another failure. Nothing ever works. I’ve never felt real love or happiness. I don’t know what it feels like. I don’t feel good ever and everyday I just keep trying still despite that and I get nothing from it. I don’t see a way I’ll ever be ok if it’s been like this for almost 8 years now. I’ll just wait till I get the courage to end it | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I don’t want to live anymoreI just want to die I’m so tired.I try hardand I try my bestbut I fail every time.I’m just too tired.Everyday another failure.Nothing ever works.I’ve never felt real love or happiness.I don’t know what it feels like.I don’t feel good everand everyday I just keep trying still despite thatand I get nothing from it.I don’t see a way I’ll ever be ok if it’s been like this for almost 8 years now.I’ll just wait till I get the courage to end it"
] | 131 | Ya no quiero vivir másSólo quiero morir estoy tan cansada.Me esfuerzo mucho y intento lo mejor, pero fallo cada vez.Estoy demasiado cansada.Todos los días otro fracaso.Nada funciona.Nunca he sentido verdadero amor o felicidad.No sé lo que se siente.No me siento bien nunca y todos los días sigo intentándolo a pesar de eso y no obtengo nada de ello.No veo una manera en la que nunca estaré bien si ha sido así durante casi 8 años.Solo esperaré hasta que tenga el valor de terminarlo. |
No sleep in 4 days. Can't win. Can't not lose.I started coughing 4 days ago and haven't stopped. Can't sleep, can't lie down, can't walk any distance at any pace, can only sit if I'm hunched over like a cocktail shrimp, and that only delays the coughing for about half an hour.
Full throated coughing, abs spasming with pain, coughing so much it feels like I'm bleeding, coughing so much I throw up. Went to the ER, got a fistful of scrips, got released at 11:00 pm. Only 24-hour pharmacy doesn't network with my insurance and wouldn't fill scrips. Had to wait until 9:00 the next morning for the one pharmacy my insurance DOES network with to open, and they don't carry the COUGH MEDICINE. It won't arrive until Friday.
Meds haven't stopped the coughing. Haven't SLOWED the coughing. Wife said either she'd check into a hotel or I would; she refuses to stay in the same building a me because I cough so damn much that SHE can't sleep either.
And now the hotel kicked me out because of noise complaints, because I'm coughing too much.
It's not like I had anything worth living for *before* now, really. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"No sleep in 4 days.Can't win.Can't not lose.I started coughing 4 days ago and haven't stopped.Can't sleep, can't lie down, can't walk any distance at any pace, can only sit if I'm hunched over like a cocktail shrimp, and that only delays the coughing for about half an hour.Full throated coughing, abs spasming with pain, coughing so much it feels like I'm bleeding, coughing so much I throw up.Went to the ER, got a fistful of scrips, got released at 11:00 pm.Only 24-hour pharmacy doesn't network with my insurance and wouldn't fill scrips.Had to wait until 9:00 the next morning for the one pharmacy my insurance DOES network with to open, and they don't carry the COUGH MEDICINE.It won't arrive until Friday.Meds haven't stopped the coughing.Haven't SLOWED the coughing.Wife said either she'd check into a hotel or I would; she refuses to stay in the same building a me because I cough so damn much that SHE can't sleep either.And now the hotel kicked me out because of noise complaints, because I'm coughing too much.It's not like I had anything worth living for *before* now, really."
] | 301 | No puedo dormir en 4 días.No puedo ganar.No puedo perder.Empecé a toser hace 4 días y no he parado.No puedo dormir, no puedo acostarme, no puedo caminar a ninguna distancia a cualquier ritmo, solo puedo sentarme si estoy encorvado como un camarón de cóctel, y eso solo retrasa la tos por cerca de media hora.Toser de garganta completa, espasmos de dolor, tos tan fuerte que siento que estoy sangrando, tosiendo tanto que vomito.Fui a Urgencias, me dieron un puñado de chillidos, fueron liberados a las 11:00 pm.Sólo la farmacia de 24 horas no conecta con mi seguro y no me llenaba los chillizos.Tendría que esperar hasta las 9:00 de la mañana siguiente para la única farmacia que mi seguro hace red con la que abrir, y no llevan el COugh MEDICINE.No llegará hasta el viernes.Los médicos no han dejado de toser. |
Can we stop putting politics in kids shows? I just wanna see Bugs Bunny smash Elmer Fudd with a mallot is that too much to ask?
I don't want to see OK KO talk about gun control.
I don't want to see Gumball mock Trump.
I just want to see Classic Slapstick between Sylvester and Tweety.
I just want to see Wile E Coyote get crushed by a boulder.
I don't want to see cartoons being a way to get the writers political views out to millions.
I just want entertainment. | [] | [
"Can we stop putting politics in kids shows?I just wanna see Bugs Bunny smash Elmer Fudd with a mallot is that too much to ask?\n\nI don't want to see OK KO talk about gun control.I don't want to see Gumball mock Trump.I just want to see Classic Slapstick between Sylvester and Tweety.I just want to see Wile E Coyote get crushed by a boulder.I don't want to see cartoons being a way to get the writers political views out to millions.I just want entertainment."
] | 122 | ¿Podemos dejar de poner la política en los programas infantiles?Solo quiero ver a Bugs Bunny aplastar a Elmer Fudd con un mallot, ¿es eso demasiado pedir?No quiero ver a OK KO hablar de control de armas.No quiero ver a Gumball burlarse de Trump.Solo quiero ver a Classic Slapstick entre Sylvester y Tweety.Solo quiero ver a Wile E Coyote ser aplastado por una roca.No quiero ver a los dibujos animados como una manera de sacar a millones las opiniones políticas de los escritores.Solo quiero entretenimiento. |
I am interested in what you think of me. Look at my profile and please tell I am giving you guys permission to check my profile out, look at comments, posts and try to tell me what do you think about me. Because honestly I can’t tell. Am I too serious or too talkative or an asshole, I really can’t tell | [] | [
"I am interested in what you think of me.Look at my profile and please tell I am giving you guys permission to check my profile out, look at comments, posts and try to tell me what do you think about me.Because honestly I can’t tell.Am I too serious or too talkative or an asshole, I really can’t tell"
] | 72 | Estoy interesado en lo que piensas de mí.Mira mi perfil y por favor diles que les estoy dando permiso para revisar mi perfil, mirar comentarios, posts y tratar de decirme lo que piensan de mí.Porque honestamente no puedo decir.Soy demasiado serio o demasiado hablador o un imbécil, realmente no puedo decir |
I'm only 20 years old but I constantly think about the process of ageingSorry if this is too long.
I'm "only" ("only" according to what people say) 20 years old, and even though I wouldn't say I feel "old" exactly, I'm always thinking about our finite youth, about ageing and our mortality. I can't get it out of my head.
A new song from a band I like comes out and I realise they're 33, and I immediately start imagining myself in their shoes, as a 30 year old, with a lot of nostalgia of the past and thinking about my past and my past mistakes. I'm inevitably miserable in these pictures.
I see people I like, admire or love age and that induces me into a profound existential crises. I'm **extremely** scared of ageing, you probably have no idea how much it scares and paralyses me. I'm scared of regrets, I'm scared of ending up a nobody, I'm scared of working a job I hate and that drains me emotionally.
I can't stop thinking about my past regrets and worrying about doing things now that I will regret in the future. I feel so much guilt when I'm not 100% efficient in what I'm doing. I feel so bad about myself, my laziness and my inability to spend long hours focused and studying. I guess I hate myself for allowing myself to get defeated so easily by difficulty, I hate myself for being too weak. I really REALLY want this thing but I'm so fucking lazy and when things get difficult I just can't pull through. I want it so much that I want to cry. It's more like a necessity than a mere desire.
The idea of having obtained this dream of mine is super motivating, but having to do the work exhausts me *emotionally*. I know at least one of the reasons why this happens (meaning perhaps there are others), but I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone, let alone publicly. The past month when mom came to visit me and help me with my breakdown, with difficulty I partially told her my "dream", why I want it, and why it's so important to me, and why working hard to achieve itself is so painful.
It's not a crime or anything like that, but it's something I feel is ridiculous and laughable, something silly and that demonstrates how weak I am (or have become).
One of my fears is *having* to commit suicide in the future (between 2 and 4 years from now) due to an unbearable amount of regret and guilt. I *know* I won't find any other solution but to commit suicide if I don't achieve my dream at least partially or if I don't achieve it in the time period I *need* to. This is because my goal heavily depends on my age, and it has nothing to do with a decline in my capacities or anything like that. My goal is along the lines of "enjoy your young years doing things that 20 years olds are". Time itself is part of the "specifications" of my goal.
30 year olds or late 20 year olds hanging out with early 20 year olds is weird and unacceptable, and I wouldn't feel part of the group either. I want to hang out with 20 year olds AS a 20 year old, but right now I can't. I've already wasted so much time isolating myself for 6 years in my room with my computer, not hanging out with people my age, not gaining experiences, not making memories, but now what I want is something slightly different. And being so "ambitious" or "demanding" sometimes makes me feel bad too. Perhaps I'm just a spoiled kid who hasn't grown up yet and learned of life.
Maybe I have to stop being so stubborn and unreasonable, make peace with a life without this delusional, grandeur dream of mine, and live peacefully where I am. I know progress can't be accelerated so much, I do know it, but I so wish it could, you don't know much this pains me. Life is so painful, ageing is so painful, your face changing and getting more 30-year-old-looking is so painful. I want to stay this age forever, hang out with people my age all over the world, celebrate with them, suffer with them, talk with them, know of their dreams and fears, learn about their subcultures, be part of the group, etc.
That last sentence is an exaggerated and less specific version of what I actually want, but yea, as you see, it's kind of stupid. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I'm only 20 years old but I constantly think about the process of ageingSorry if this is too long.I'm \"only\" (\"only\" according to what people say) 20 years old, and even though I wouldn't say I feel \"old\" exactly, I'm always thinking about our finite youth, about ageing and our mortality.I can't get it out of my head.A new song from a band I like comes out and I realise they're 33, and I immediately start imagining myself in their shoes, as a 30 year old, with a lot of nostalgia of the past and thinking about my past and my past mistakes.I'm inevitably miserable in these pictures.I see people I like, admire or love age and that induces me into a profound existential crises.I'm **extremely** scared of ageing, you probably have no idea how much it scares and paralyses me.I'm scared of regrets, I'm scared of ending up a nobody, I'm scared of working a job I hate and that drains me emotionally.I can't stop thinking about my past regrets and worrying about doing things now that I will regret in the future.I feel so much guilt when I'm not 100% efficient in what I'm doing.I feel so bad about myself, my laziness and my inability to spend long hours focused and studying.",
"I guess I hate myself for allowing myself to get defeated so easily by difficulty, I hate myself for being too weak.I really REALLY want this thingbut I'm so fucking lazy and when things get difficult I just can't pull through.I want it so much that I want to cry.It's more like a necessity than a mere desire.The idea of having obtained this dream of mine is super motivating, but having to do the work exhausts me *emotionally*.I know at least one of the reasons why this happens (meaning perhaps there are others), but I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone, let alone publicly.The past month when mom came to visit me and help me with my breakdown, with difficulty I partially told her my \"dream\", why I want it, and why it's so important to me, and why working hard to achieve itself is so painful.It's not a crime or anything like that, but it's something I feel is ridiculous and laughable, something silly and that demonstrates how weak I am (or have become).One of my fears is *having* to commit suicide in the future (between 2 and 4 years from now) due to an unbearable amount of regret and guilt.I *know*",
"I won't find any other solution but to commit suicide if I don't achieve my dream at least partially or if I don't achieve it in the time period I *need* to.This is because my goal heavily depends on my age, and it has nothing to do with a decline in my capacities or anything like that.My goal is along the lines of \"enjoy your young years doing things that 20 years olds are\".Time itself is part of the \"specifications\" of my goal.30 year olds or late 20 year olds hanging out with early 20 year olds is weird and unacceptable, and I wouldn't feel part of the group either.I want to hang out with 20 year olds AS a 20 year old, but right now I can't.I've already wasted so much time isolating myself for 6 years in my room with my computer, not hanging out with people my age, not gaining experiences, not making memories, but now what I want is something slightly different.And being so \"ambitious\" or \"demanding\" sometimes makes me feel bad too.Perhaps I'm just a spoiled kid who hasn't grown up yet and learned of life.Maybe I have to stop being so stubborn and unreasonable, make peace with a life without this delusional, grandeur dream of mine, and live peacefully where I am.",
"I know progress can't be accelerated so much, I do know it, but I so wish it could, you don't know much this pains me.Life is so painful, ageing is so painful, your face changing and getting more 30-year-old-looking is so painful.I want to stay this age forever, hang out with people my age all over the world, celebrate with them, suffer with them, talk with them, know of their dreams and fears, learn about their subcultures, be part of the group, etc.That last sentence is an exaggerated and less specific version of what I actually want, but yea, as you see, it's kind of stupid."
] | 297 | Tengo sólo 20 años, pero pienso constantemente en el proceso de envejecimiento.Lo siento si esto es demasiado largo.Soy "solo" ("solo" según la gente dice) de 20 años, y aunque no diría que me siento "vieja" exactamente, siempre estoy pensando en nuestra juventud finita, en el envejecimiento y nuestra mortalidad.No puedo sacarlo de mi cabeza.Una nueva canción de una banda que me gusta sale y me doy cuenta de que tienen 33 años, e inmediatamente empiezo a imaginarme a mí mismo en sus zapatos, como un niño de 30 años, con mucha nostalgia del pasado y pensando en mi pasado y mis errores del pasado.Soy inevitablemente miserable en estas fotos.Veo a gente que me gusta, admiro o amo la edad y eso me induce a una profunda crisis existencial.Tengo mucho miedo de envejecer, probablemente no tengo idea de lo mucho que me asusta y me paraliza.Veo a la gente que me gusta, me da miedo de arrepentirme, tengo miedo de terminar en una profunda crisis existencial. |
are image posts removed? random text here. random text here. | [] | [
"are image posts removed?random text here.random text here."
] | 15 | son los mensajes de imagen eliminados?texto aleatorio aquí.texto aleatorio aquí. |
Suicidal AFI feel like dying..I’m debating whether or not to jump in front of a train or jump off a building but either way I pray it works | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Suicidal AFI feel like dying..I’m debating whether or not to jump in front of a train or jump off a building but either way I pray it works"
] | 36 | Suicida AFI tiene ganas de morir..Estoy debatiendo si saltar o no en frente de un tren o saltar de un edificio, pero de cualquier manera rezo para que funcione |
I thought I was glo’d... until my crush talked about liking another guy when I was 200% sure she had a thing for me and I got all sad about it on the bus ride home lmao | [] | [
"I thought I was glo’d... until my crush talked about liking another guy when I was 200% sure she had a thing for meand I got all sad about it on the bus ride home lmao"
] | 44 | Pensé que me gustaba... hasta que mi amor habló de gustarme otro tipo cuando yo estaba 200% seguro de que ella tenía una cosa por meada me puse triste por ello en el viaje en autobús a casa lmmao |
I want to liveI am 32 and I live with my parents, I Dont even have the option of moving due to their health and me not being able to support myself. I attempt to get jobs but people do not like me. My ex who I loved body and soul broke up with me five years ago. She gave me hpv and herpes....she was sleeping around and everyone knew but me. I reacted.....poorly. I said things on Facebook, mentioned her having an abortion, contacted her friends, and generally became pretty creepy about the whole thing.
Not a day goes by where I wouldn't give anything just for her to speak to me, even to call me the shithead I am. She wont , not one word in five years, can't blame her.
Now, I am afraid to even find anyone else, I feel tainted and unworthy.
I have avoided doing well in school or work my entire life, I have a pretty decent IQ but all that does is give me fucked up thoughts of despair and meaninglessness.
I suck at writing.
When I'm happy people want to be near me, but I never am. I spend my days smoking pot, caring for my ailing father, mother, and a kid they adopted for whatever reason. I can't even kill myself because if I did she goes to cps and gets placed in foster care. I like her enough and she's a good kid. I just can't do it. I am not up to this task.
My health is failing me in multiple ways. Developed allergies to wheat, tomatoes, fruits, rice, onions.....lots of plants. All I can eat is corn, oats, meat and potatoes, as far as I can tell. It isn't the type of allergy that will kill me either, imagine rolling around in fiberglass and feeling that way for two days or so after anything on the bad list. It sucks I hate it. I get frequent headaches and always think I'm dying, but I really do feel like shit except no one believes it, they think I'm nuts, again I can't blame them. A lot more but I'm tired of writing.
Just looked at the ex's FB pic, she is beautiful as ever. I hope her life is happy. I know I could never have brought it to her. I bet she isn't alone today.
Tldr I sit around avoiding life, and I can't kill myself because it would make someone's life a living hell. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I want to liveI am 32 and I live with my parents, I Dont even have the option of moving due to their health and me not being able to support myself.I attempt to get jobs but people do not like me.My ex who I loved body and soul broke up with me five years ago.She gave me hpv and herpes....she was sleeping around and everyone knew but me.I reacted.....poorly.I said things on Facebook, mentioned her having an abortion, contacted her friends, and generally became pretty creepy about the whole thing.Not a day goes by where I wouldn't give anything just for her to speak to me, even to call me the shithead I am.She wont , not one word in five years, can't blame her.Now, I am afraid to even find anyone else, I feel tainted and unworthy.I have avoided doing well in school or work my entire life, I have a pretty decent IQ but all that does is give me fucked up thoughts of despair and meaninglessness.I suck at writing.When I'm happy people want to be near me, but I never am.I spend my days smoking pot, caring for my ailing father, mother, and a kid they adopted for whatever reason.I can't even kill myself because if I did she goes to cps and gets placed in foster care.I like her enough",
"and she's a good kid.I just can't do it.I am not up to this task.My health is failing me in multiple ways.Developed allergies to wheat, tomatoes, fruits, rice, onions.....lots of plants.All I can eat is corn, oats, meat and potatoes, as far as I can tell.It isn't the type of allergy that will kill me either, imagine rolling around in fiberglass and feeling that way for two days or so after anything on the bad list.It sucks I hate it.I get frequent headaches and always think I'm dying, but I really do feel like shit except no one believes it, they think I'm nuts, again I can't blame them.A lot more but I'm tired of writing.Just looked at the ex's FB pic, she is beautiful as ever.I hope her life is happy.I know I could never have brought it to her.I bet she isn't alone today.Tldr I sit around avoiding life, and I can't kill myself because it would make someone's life a living hell."
] | 297 | Quiero vivirTengo 32 años y vivo con mis padres, ni siquiera tengo la opción de mudarme debido a su salud y no puedo mantenerme a mí mismo.Trato de conseguir trabajo pero la gente no me gusta.Mi ex a quien amaba el cuerpo y el alma rompió conmigo hace cinco años.Ella me dio hpv y herpes....ella estaba durmiendo y todo el mundo me conocía pero yo reaccioné....pobremente.Dije cosas en Facebook, la mencioné teniendo un aborto, contacté a sus amigos, y por lo general se volvió bastante espeluznante acerca de todo el asunto.No pasa un día en el que yo no daría nada solo para que me hablara, incluso para llamarme el cabeza de mierda que soy.Ella no, ni una palabra en cinco años, no puedo culparla.Ahora, tengo miedo de encontrar a nadie más, me siento manchado e indigno.He evitado hacer bien en la escuela o en el trabajo toda mi vida, no tengo una palabra en cinco años, pero todo lo que hace es darme pensamientos de desesperación y sin sentido. |
Honestly why do I put up with this existenceSo many things have happened in my life lately that just pushes me to ending it all.
My drug addict sister who abused our parents, is in and out of the hospital and had a baby with severe health issues due to her drug use that has now been pushed on to my mom.
Finals and mediocre grades. Im years from graduating even though I should have graduated this year.
Financial debt that got mostly racked up from school and letting a boyfriend take advantage of me.
Im still not over being in an abusive relationship 2+ years ago. And my most recent ex didn't take me seriously because I was in an abusive relationship, so that opened old wounds.
I fell madly in love with someone who is terrible for me (again). I broke it off with him but thinking about going through life without him makes me feel so alone.
Honestly, life hasn't gotten better. I've just gotten used to disappointment, grief and loneliness.
I'm think I'm finally going to kill myself by the end of the year. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Honestly why do I put up with this existenceSo many things have happened in my life lately that just pushes me to ending it all.My drug addict sister who abused our parents, is in and out of the hospital and had a baby with severe health issues due to her drug use that has now been pushed on to my mom.Finals and mediocre grades.Im years from graduating even though I should have graduated this year.Financial debt that got mostly racked up from school and letting a boyfriend take advantage of me.Im still not over being in an abusive relationship 2+ years ago.And my most recent ex didn't take me seriously because I was in an abusive relationship, so that opened old wounds.I fell madly in love with someone who is terrible for me (again).I broke it off with him but thinking about going through life without him makes me feel so alone.Honestly, life hasn't gotten better.I've just gotten used to disappointment, grief and loneliness.I'm think I'm finally going to kill myself by the end of the year."
] | 231 | Sinceramente, por qué soporto esta existencia Últimamente han pasado tantas cosas en mi vida que me empujan a terminarlo todo.Mi hermana drogadicta que abusó de nuestros padres, está dentro y fuera del hospital y tuvo un bebé con graves problemas de salud debido a su consumo de drogas que ahora ha sido empujado a mi mamá.Últimos años y grados mediocres.Estoy a años de graduarme a pesar de que debería haberme graduado este año.Deuda financiera que en su mayoría se acumuló en la escuela y dejó que un novio se aprovechara de mí.Todavía no estoy más de estar en una relación abusiva 2+ años atrás.Y mi ex más reciente no me tomó en serio porque estaba en una relación abusiva, por lo que abría viejas heridas.Me enamoré locamente de alguien que es terrible para mí (otra vez).Lo rompí con él pero pensando en pasar por la vida sin él me hace sentir tan solo.Honestamente, la vida no ha mejorado.Me he acostumbrado a la decepción, el dolor y la soledad. |
Help with a crush Any help with a crush
I need help moving on from a crush I’ve had for way too long (4yrs). I know this isn’t the best place to ask. Does anyone have advice for me. Because everyday I end up thinking about her when I try not to. I know for a fact she doesn’t like me. Sometimes I feel like a creep and I’ve latched on too hard.(also she’s long distance)Anyone any tips to move on from the friend zone? {repost} | [] | [
"Help with a crush Any help with a crush\n\nI need help moving on from a crush I’ve had for way too long (4yrs).I know this isn’t the best place to ask.Does anyone have advice for me.Because everyday I end up thinking about her when I try not to.I know for a fact she doesn’t like me.Sometimes I feel like a creep and I’ve latched on too hard.(alsoshe’s long distance)Anyone any tips to move on from the friend zone?{repost}"
] | 116 | Ayuda con un enamoramiento Cualquier ayuda con un enamoramiento que necesito ayuda para seguir adelante desde un enamoramiento que he tenido por mucho tiempo (4 años).Sé que este no es el mejor lugar para preguntar.Alguien tiene consejo para mí.Porque todos los días termino pensando en ella cuando trato de no hacerlo.Sé por un hecho que no le gusto.A veces me siento como un cretino y me he pegado demasiado duro.(también ella está a larga distancia)¿Alguien tiene algún consejo para seguir adelante desde la zona de amigos?{repost} |
Why does my mood gotta be changing all the time 🙄🙄🙄 😭
😭😭
😭😭😭
😭😭😭😭
😭😭😭😭😭
😭😭😭😭😭😭
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Like 🙄 earlier i was in a good mood 😬 why do i gotta be sad now 😔✌ | [] | [
"Why does my mood gotta be changing all the time🙄🙄🙄 😭\n\n😭😭\n\n😭😭😭\n\n😭😭😭😭\n\n😭😭😭😭😭\n\n😭😭😭😭😭😭\n\n😭😭😭😭😭😭😭\n\n😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭\n\n😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭\n\n😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭\n\nLike 🙄 earlier i was in a good mood 😬 why do i gotta be sad now 😔✌"
] | 52 | ¿Por qué mi humor tiene que estar cambiando todo el tiempo Como antes estaba en un buen humor |
I don't mean to flex or anything, but i talked to a girl yesterday
so like yeah | [] | [
"I don't mean to flex or anything, but i talked to a girl yesterday\nso like yeah"
] | 20 | No quiero flexionar ni nada, pero hablé con una chica ayer, así que sí. |
I wanna fuck a muppet don't care which one it is, they all are probably top shaggers | [] | [
"I wanna fuck a muppet don't care which one it is, they all are probably top shaggers"
] | 24 | Quiero follarme a un muppet no me importa cuál sea, probablemente todos son los mejores shaggers. |
Isn't it funny?I've been conditioned my entire life to believe suicide is a cowardly act but yet I'm too much a coward to pick up the knife and carry through with this. I've been staring at it for 4 hours now and all it's done is remind me how much of a piece of shit I am and why I need to do this. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Isn't it funny?I've been conditioned my entire life to believe suicide is a cowardly actbut yet I'm too much a coward to pick up the knife and carry through with this.I've been staring at it for 4 hours now and all it's done is remind me how much of a piece of shit I am and why I need to do this."
] | 79 | ¿No es gracioso?He estado condicionado toda mi vida para creer que el suicidio es un acto cobarde, pero sin embargo soy demasiado cobarde para coger el cuchillo y llevar a cabo con esto.He estado mirándolo desde hace 4 horas y todo lo que ha hecho es recordarme cuánto de un pedazo de mierda soy y por qué necesito hacer esto. |
I hate this world so muchI wish I could just create my own planet and live on there. I'm so sick of people. I do not want to live anymore. I mean I want to live but NOT ON THIS PLANET. No matter what I do people will always treat me like shit. It's like once you have been bullied in highschool you are deemed to be the victim for the rest of your life. Because that's how your brain has been wired. It knows no better than to be the victim - even after highschool - in any situation. My life feels like I'm stuck in playing a shitty game day after day over and over again. And always the same shit happens. It's like a vicious cycle - you think you grow as a person and you're not in the same position you were 5 years ago but you always realize that you' re still a loser. Why can't there be a button that will just end it all? Is that too much to ask for? :/ | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I hate this world so muchI wish I could just create my own planet and live on there.I'm so sick of people.I do not want to live anymore.I mean I want to live but NOT ON THIS PLANET.No matter what I do people will always treat me like shit.It's like once you have been bullied in highschool you are deemed to be the victim for the rest of your life.Because that's how your brain has been wired.It knows no better than to be the victim - even after highschool - in any situation.My life feels like I'm stuck in playing a shitty game day after day over and over again.And always the same shit happens.It's like a vicious cycle - you think you grow as a person and you're not in the same position you were 5 years ago but you always realize that you' re still a loser.Why can't there be a button that will just end it all?Is that too much to ask for? :/"
] | 215 | Odio tanto este mundo que desearía poder crear mi propio planeta y vivir allí.Estoy tan harto de la gente.Ya no quiero vivir más.Quiero decir que quiero vivir pero NO EN ESTE PLANETA.No importa lo que haga la gente siempre me tratará como una mierda.Es como si una vez que has sido acosado en la escuela secundaria te consideraran la víctima por el resto de tu vida.Porque así es como tu cerebro ha sido cableado.No sabe mejor que ser la víctima - incluso después de la escuela secundaria - en cualquier situación.Mi vida se siente como si estuviera atrapado en un juego de mierda día tras día una y otra vez.Y siempre sucede lo mismo.Es como un ciclo vicioso - crees que creces como persona y no estás en la misma posición que hace 5 años, pero siempre te das cuenta de que todavía eres un perdedor.¿Por qué no puede haber un botón que acaba con todo? |
Among us??? Among us?
Add my discord artofReloading#5632. Ill add you to my server. I’m kinda new so sorry lol. I’m on mobile btw. | [] | [
"Among us???Among us?\n\nAdd my discord artofReloading#5632.Ill add you to my server.I’m kinda new so sorry lol.I’m on mobile btw."
] | 48 | ¿Entre nosotros?? ¿Entre nosotros? Agrega mi discordancia artofReloading#5632.Te añadiré a mi servidor.Soy un poco nuevo lol.I'm lol.I'm on mobile btw. |
If you're gonna make sex jokes At least turn on your user flair so we know you aren't a pedo | [] | [
"If you're gonna make sex jokes At least turn on your user flairso we know you aren't a pedo"
] | 27 | Si vas a hacer bromas sexuales Al menos enciende tu estilo de usuario para que sepamos que no eres un pedo |
Can't believe I'm here againI was well for a good while. A little over a year. Now, I'm back where I started, just wishing I were dead, having thoughts of slitting my throat or hanging myself but knowing I don't have the ability to do either properly. It is all the more painful having known what it felt like to be well. Trying to work has been like swimming through thick mud. I don't want to eat, and when I do, it makes me feel sick. Feeding and walking my dog feels like a monumental task. I don't want to shower. I don't want to get out of bed in the morning. I don't know for sure, but I suspect I have ADHD. I work in an office job, and it has been a mighty struggle, even in good times, to stay on task. An actual 8-hour day of work generally takes me 11 hours to achieve. Obviously, I'm not supposed to work that way, but I can't help it. I feel chained to my desk. I feel overwhelmed. I know I am lucky to be employed, but it feels tenuous and like I'm fooling everyone. How much longer can I really expect to pull this off? | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Can't believe I'm here againI was well for a good while.A little over a year.Now, I'm back where I started, just wishing I were dead, having thoughts of slitting my throat or hanging myself but knowing I don't have the ability to do either properly.It is all the more painful having known what it felt like to be well.Trying to work has been like swimming through thick mud.I don't want to eat, and when I do, it makes me feel sick.Feeding and walking my dog feels like a monumental task.I don't want to shower.I don't want to get out of bed in the morning.I don't know for sure, but I suspect I have ADHD.I work in an office job, and it has been a mighty struggle, even in good times, to stay on task.An actual 8-hour day of work generally takes me 11 hours to achieve.Obviously, I'm not supposed to work that way, but I can't help it.I feel chained to my desk.I feel overwhelmed.I know I am lucky to be employed, but it feels tenuous and like I'm fooling everyone.How much longer can I really expect to pull this off?"
] | 273 | No puedo creer que esté aquí de nuevo, estuve bien por un buen tiempo.Un poco más de un año.Ahora, estoy de vuelta donde empecé, deseando estar muerto, teniendo pensamientos de cortarme la garganta o colgarme a mí mismo, pero sabiendo que no tengo la capacidad de hacerlo correctamente.Es tanto más doloroso haber sabido lo que se sentía estar bien.Tratar de trabajar ha sido como nadar a través de barro grueso.No quiero comer, y cuando lo hago, me hace sentir enfermo.Alimentar y caminar a mi perro se siente como una tarea monumental.No quiero ducharme.No quiero salir de la cama por la mañana.No lo sé con seguridad, pero sospecho que tengo TDAH.Trabajo en un trabajo de oficina, y ha sido una gran lucha, incluso en buenos momentos, para mantenerme en la tarea.Un día real de 8 horas de trabajo generalmente me lleva 11 horas para lograrlo.Obviamente, no se supone que trabaje de esa manera, pero no puedo evitarlo. |
I don't know...where to turn so I'll write here. I've have had thoughts of wanting to die before and admitted it at my last appointment to my pshychologist.
I'm really trying to make myself think that I'm not suicidal? Does that make sense, probably not. Like it isn't valid. My thoughts of wanting to die doesn't feel valid?
Like sure I've thought of it and I have the way I would do it layed out in a mental plan but I've never made any steps "irl" to complete that plan like buying the stuff or so on.
So in my mind it's not suicidal thoughts? But isn't it?
I got new meds a couple of days ago and one of the first thing I did was start to think and look up how many I would have to take to actually die, I don't think I would, but I want to and now know how to.
Sry for a messy post, I'm just rambling at this point, just needed to write it down somewhere, anywhere so it isn't only in my head. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I don't know...where to turn so I'll write here.I've have had thoughts of wanting to die before and admitted it at my last appointment to my pshychologist.I'm really trying to make myself think that I'm not suicidal?Does that make sense, probably not.Like it isn't valid.My thoughts of wanting to die doesn't feel valid?Like sure I've thought of itand I have the way I would do it layed out in a mental planbut I've never made any steps \"irl\" to complete that plan like buying the stuff or so on.So in my mind it's not suicidal thoughts?But isn't it?I got new meds a couple of days ago and one of the first thing I did was start to think and look up how many I would have to take to actually die, I don't think I would, but I want to and now know how to.Sry for a messy post, I'm just rambling at this point, just needed to write it down somewhere, anywhere so it isn't only in my head."
] | 243 | No sé... a dónde dirigirme para escribir aquí.He tenido pensamientos de querer morir antes y admitirlo en mi última cita con mi psicólogo.Estoy realmente tratando de hacerme pensar que no soy suicida?Tiene sentido, probablemente no.Como no es válido.Mis pensamientos de querer morir no se sienten válidos?Como seguro que lo he pensado y tengo la forma en que lo haría en un plan mental pero nunca he hecho ningún paso "irl" para completar ese plan como comprar las cosas o así sucesivamente.¿Así que en mi mente no son pensamientos suicidas?Pero ¿no es así?Conseguí nuevos medicamentos hace un par de días y una de las primeras cosas que hice fue empezar a pensar y buscar cuántos tendría que tomar para morir en realidad, no creo que lo haría, pero quiero y ahora sé cómo hacerlo. |
Thoughts of suicideI (23F) don’t know really, I’ve been touched by the darkness from a very young age - maybe 11 or 12 and I’ve been fighting the urge to end it all for just as long. I think I’m finally at the end of my rope so to speak, my world has completely crumbled in more ways than one and I don’t think there’s much reason left for me to continue to pretend I want to be alive. I wish I could say that things get better but they’ve only gotten progressively worse... | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Thoughts of suicideI (23F) don’t know really, I’ve been touched by the darkness from a very young age - maybe 11 or 12 and I’ve been fighting the urge to end it all for just as long.I think I’m finally at the end of my rope so to speak, my world has completely crumbled in more ways than one and I don’t think there’s much reason left for me to continue to pretend I want to be alive.I wish I could say that things get better but they’ve only gotten progressively worse..."
] | 118 | Pensamientos de suicidioYo (23F) no sé realmente, he sido tocado por la oscuridad desde una edad muy temprana - tal vez 11 o 12 y he estado luchando contra el impulso de terminar con todo por el mismo tiempo.Creo que finalmente estoy en el final de mi cuerda, por así decirlo, mi mundo se ha desmoronado completamente en más de una manera y no creo que quede mucha razón para seguir fingiendo que quiero estar vivo.Ojalá pudiera decir que las cosas mejoran pero sólo han ido empeorando progresivamente... |
A Hopeless LifeI.... im a 13 years old kid, i know you might think i was some sort of emo or troll or anything.. but i just really need to get this out of my chest, so i live in indonesia, i'm a student last week i have a finals that will indicate if i was going to stay in my grade or goes up from my grade(im so sorry for my bad english) but the problem is my school uses some kind of server to store the grade, i studied really hard i even stay up late just to study and memorize, the first day i was confident, i answered every question it was easy, i check every number from 1-50 until i was sure im gonna get an a, so i press "send" and i wait.... Until 1 or 2 minutes later i got an F and no im not making this up, and looks like i will not make it to the next grade, my family was very strict my parent put a lot of trust in me and looks like im gonna dissapoint them... again, look i know im a dissapointment so don't waste your time telling me that in the reply, i just dont know, i know that my family are gonna take all of my facilities including my PC which i use to Write novels,making a 3d models and edit video, Basically my hope for survival, i know this world is a harsh place, and i can't stop what i was doing with my PC or i will end up a beggar, and if i did not make it to the ninth grade i will lose all my friend, love from my parent, and maybe even my sanity, so looks like suicide was the only way i could escape, or maybe not, i don't know, I Just Wanna Die | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"A Hopeless LifeI....im a 13 years old kid, i know you might think i was some sort of emo or troll or anything..but i just really need to get this out of my chest, so i live in indonesia, i'm a student last week i have a finals that will indicate if i was going to stay in my grade or goes up from my grade(im so sorry for my bad english)but the problem is my school uses some kind of server to store the grade, i studied really hard i even stay up late just to study and memorize, the first day i was confident, i answered every question it was easy, i check every number from 1-50 until i was sure im gonna get an a, so i press \"send\" and i wait....",
"Until 1 or 2 minutes later i got an F and no im not making this up, and looks like i will not make it to the next grade, my family was very strict my parent put a lot of trust in me and looks like im gonna dissapoint them... again, look i know im a dissapointment so don't waste your time telling me that in the reply, i just dont know, i know that my family are gonna take all of my facilities including my PC which i use to Write novels,making a 3d models and edit video, Basically my hope for survival, i know this world is a harsh place, and i can't stop what i was doing with my PC or i will end up a beggar, and if i did not make it to the ninth grade i will lose all my friend, love from my parent, and maybe even my sanity, so looks like suicide was the only way i could escape, or maybe not, i don't know, I Just Wanna Die"
] | 169 | A Hopeless LifeI....im a 13 años de edad, sé que usted podría pensar que era algún tipo de emo o troll o cualquier otra cosa..pero realmente necesito sacar esto de mi pecho, así que vivo en indonesia, soy un estudiante la semana pasada tengo un final que indicará si iba a permanecer en mi grado o sube de mi grado (lo siento mucho por mi mal inglés)pero el problema es que mi escuela utiliza algún tipo de servidor para almacenar el grado, estudié muy duro incluso me quedo hasta tarde sólo para estudiar y memorizar, el primer día que tenía confianza, respondí a cada pregunta que era fácil, comprobé cada número de 1-50 hasta que estaba seguro de que im va a conseguir un, así que aprieto "enviar" y espero.... |
A needle full of bleach...So I guess it's like this.
Finally got to quit being homeless 6 months ago. Already lost my job and don't know or understand how to handle living real life in a real house. It's harder to come back from than I'd ever thought possible. I have no food, my state won't fund me food stamps, I don't talk to ANYONE outside of the internet, including my roommates, who were at one point great friends of mine and helped me get back on my feet in the first place. The girl I want to marry gave me a second chance when I got back into a place to live, and I've already crippled my chances at anything long lasting through paranoia and fear. I won't be able to pay my rent in a week, and although they said they'd cover my share this month so I can keep looking for work, I don't think I can take the embarrassment of feeling useless and I also can't face life on the streets anymore. I'm deep in the red with debt and I owe bad people in a city near home money from my old long since kicked drug habit, however, I've been thinking about using constantly lately. (It dominates my thoughts.) I've been in bed for almost two days straight crippled with depression and don't know what to do. I can't even look anyone in the face without wishing they'd beat the living shit out of me for being such a piece of trash.
I saved a needle from when I used as a reminder, always, that I could beat drugs. Now it's sitting there, full of bleach, like it has been for the last 3 days. And it looks better and better every time I look at it. I don't know what to do. I don't.
I really don't know what to do. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"A needle full of bleach...So I guess it's like this.Finally got to quit being homeless 6 months ago.Already lost my job and don't know or understand how to handle living real life in a real house.It's harder to come back from than I'd ever thought possible.I have no food, my state won't fund me food stamps, I don't talk to ANYONE outside of the internet, including my roommates, who were at one point great friends of mine and helped me get back on my feet in the first place.The girl I want to marry gave me a second chance when I got back into a place to live, and I've already crippled my chances at anything long lasting through paranoia and fear.I won't be able to pay my rent in a week, and although they said they'd cover my share this month so I can keep looking for work, I don't think I can take the embarrassment of feeling useless and I also can't face life on the streets anymore.I'm deep in the red with debt and I owe bad people in a city near home money from my old long since kicked drug habit, however, I've been thinking about using constantly lately.(It dominates my thoughts.)I've been in bed for almost two days straight crippled with depression and don't know what to do.",
"I can't even look anyone in the face without wishing they'd beat the living shit out of me for being such a piece of trash.I saved a needle from when I used as a reminder, always, that I could beat drugs.Now it's sitting there, full of bleach, like it has been for the last 3 days.And it looks better and better every time I look at it.I don't know what to do.I don't.I really don't know what to do."
] | 295 | Una aguja llena de lejía...Así que supongo que es así.Finalmente tuve que dejar de estar sin hogar hace 6 meses.Ya perdí mi trabajo y no sé ni entiendo cómo manejar la vida real en una casa real.Es más difícil volver de lo que nunca había pensado posible.No tengo comida, mi estado no me financiará los cupones de comida, no hablo con nadie fuera de internet, incluidos mis compañeros de cuarto, que en un momento fueron grandes amigos míos y me ayudaron a volver a ponerme de pie en el primer lugar.La chica con la que me quiero casar me dio una segunda oportunidad cuando volví a un lugar para vivir, y ya he lisiado mis posibilidades de algo de larga duración a través de la paranoia y el miedo.No voy a poder pagar mi renta en una semana, y aunque me dijeron que cubrirían mi parte este mes así que puedo seguir buscando trabajo, no creo que pueda tomar la vergüenza de sentirme inútil y tampoco puedo enfrentarme a lo que es la vida en las calles. |
I have HSV1. I really contemplating ending my life tonight.I did everything right. I was in a long term, monogamous relationship. We both got tested before having sex. Except they don’t test for HSV, and my ex didn’t tell me he got cold sores. I ended up contracting HSV1 genitally after a year of being together. He broke up with me in December and is now in a new relationship. He can be happy and feel love again. He cheated on me and has cheated on his current girlfriend. But he’s still a desirable person because he has HSV1 orally.
I’ve been left tainted, and disgusting. I am now destined to live a life without sex, or love. I read posts on Reddit and I’m reminded over and over how I’m worthless now because I have a permanent STD. I was also so careful with sex, I’ve never had a one night stand. And yet my life is over. There is no point in living if I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I have HSV1.I really contemplating ending my life tonight.I did everything right.I was in a long term, monogamous relationship.We both got tested before having sex.Except they don’t test for HSV, and my ex didn’t tell me he got cold sores.I ended up contracting HSV1 genitally after a year of being together.He broke up with me in December and is now in a new relationship.He can be happy and feel love again.He cheated on me and has cheated on his current girlfriend.But he’s still a desirable person because he has HSV1 orally.I’ve been left tainted, and disgusting.I am now destined to live a life without sex, or love.I read posts on Reddit and I’m reminded over and over how I’m worthless now because I have a permanent STD.I was also so careful with sex, I’ve never had a one night stand.And yet my life is over.There is no point in living if I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life."
] | 231 | Tengo HSV1.Realmente estoy contemplando terminar mi vida esta noche.Lo hice todo bien.Estaba en una relación monógama a largo plazo.Ambos nos hicimos la prueba antes de tener relaciones sexuales. Excepto que no hacen la prueba para el HSV, y mi ex no me dijo que tenía herpes labial.Acabé contratando genitalmente el HSV1 después de un año de estar juntos.Él rompió conmigo en diciembre y ahora está en una nueva relación.Él puede ser feliz y sentir amor de nuevo.Él me engañó y ha engañado a su novia actual.Pero él sigue siendo una persona deseable porque tiene HSV1 oralmente.Me han dejado manchado, y asqueroso.Ahora estoy destinado a vivir una vida sin sexo, o amor.Leí posts en Reddit y me recordé una y otra vez cómo soy inútil ahora porque tengo una ETS permanente.También tuve mucho cuidado con el sexo, nunca he tenido una parada nocturna.Y sin embargo mi vida ha terminado.No tiene sentido vivir si voy a estar solo por el resto de mi vida. |
I'm gonna make the most downvoted post on this subreddit by saying this I don't think tik tok is that bad at all. I actually think it's quite good
Keanu Reeves is WAY too overrated on this platform
Yes Minecraft is good but it's not my favourite game | [] | [
"I'm gonna make the most downvoted post on this subreddit by saying this I don't think tik tok is that bad at all.I actually think it's quite good\nKeanu Reeves is WAY too overrated on this platform\nYes Minecraft is good but it's not my favourite game"
] | 71 | Voy a hacer el post más downvoted en este subreddit diciendo esto no creo que tik tok es tan malo en absoluto.En realidad creo que es bastante bueno Keanu Reeves es manera demasiado sobrevalorado en esta plataforma Sí Minecraft es bueno, pero no es mi juego favorito |
i wish i could get hit by a busmy life is just awful. i have virtually no friends and i don't even think they care about me. the one true friend i had blocked me on everything because i hurt her because some of my ex friends set me up while drunk. my family never pick up on signs i give to them and seem to not care about me either. it feels like if i killed myself tomorrow no one would even cry. I have been feeling like this for a long time the only thing which kept me doing it was the arrangement i had with a friend that if one of us died the other one would killed them self now that i am not friends with her any more so no one would miss me i just don't see the point in living anymore its to painful | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"i wish i could get hit by a busmy life is just awful.i have virtually no friends and i don't even think they care about me.the one true friend i had blocked me on everything because i hurt her because some of my ex friends set me up while drunk.my family never pick up on signs i give to them and seem to not care about me either.it feels like if i killed myself tomorrow no one would even cry.I have been feeling like this for a long time the only thing which kept me doing it was the arrangement i had with a friend that if one of us died the other one would killed them self now that i am not friends with her any more so no one would miss mei just don't see the point in living anymore its to painful"
] | 161 | Me gustaría que pudiera ser golpeado por un busmy vida es simplemente horrible. tengo prácticamente ningún amigo y ni siquiera creo que se preocupan por mí.el un verdadero amigo que me había bloqueado en todo porque le hice daño porque algunos de mis ex amigos me tendieron una trampa mientras borracho.mi familia nunca recoger en las señales que les doy y parece que no se preocupan por mí tampoco.Se siente como si me mate mañana nadie siquiera lloraría.He estado sintiendo así durante mucho tiempo la única cosa que me mantuvo haciendo era el arreglo que tenía con un amigo que si uno de nosotros murió el otro se mataría a sí mismo ahora que no soy amigo de ella ya así que nadie extrañaría mei simplemente no ver el punto en vivir más su a doloroso |
Haha time to question my sexuality for the tenth time today Help | [] | [
"Haha time to question my sexuality for the tenth time today Help"
] | 13 | Haha hora de cuestionar mi sexualidad por décima vez hoy Ayuda |
I fantasize about suicide.I don't think I would ever put my family through the pain of me committing suicide, but I think about it a lot. I see things and think about how I could be killed by it. Cars, trains, electric tracks, guns, pills... etc. Some days/weeks are worse than others. But sometimes the first thing I think of when I wake up is ending my life. Honestly, I'm hoping for a terminal disease. Best of both worlds, won't have the guilt of fucking my family, and it would be my ticket off of this planet.
On bad nights, I come here and just read. It helps, and I just wanted to thank you all for the support you offer to complete strangers. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I fantasize about suicide.I don't think I would ever put my family through the pain of me committing suicide, but I think about it a lot.I see things and think about how I could be killed by it.Cars, trains, electric tracks, guns, pills... etc.Some days/weeks are worse than others.But sometimes the first thing I think of when I wake up is ending my life.Honestly, I'm hoping for a terminal disease.Best of both worlds, won't have the guilt of fucking my family, and it would be my ticket off of this planet.On bad nights, I come here and just read.It helps, and I just wanted to thank you all for the support you offer to complete strangers."
] | 162 | Yo fantaseo con el suicidio.No creo que nunca pondría a mi familia a través del dolor de cometer suicidio, pero pienso mucho en ello.Veo cosas y pienso en cómo podría ser asesinado por ello.Carros, trenes, vías eléctricas, pistolas, píldoras... etc.Algunos días/semanas son peores que otros.Pero a veces lo primero que pienso cuando me despierto es acabar con mi vida.Honestamente, espero una enfermedad terminal.Lo mejor de ambos mundos, no tendrá la culpa de joder a mi familia, y sería mi boleto fuera de este planeta.En las malas noches, vengo aquí y simplemente leo.Ayuda, y sólo quería agradecerles a todos por el apoyo que ofrecen a completos desconocidos. |
Literally everythingWhy does everything trigger suicidal thoughts. Every little thing. It also doesnt help that everyones main go to joke is that they want to kill themselves. Like just now for instance, my friend stating that they would like to kill themselves as we have math for 3 hours today. Everything is such bullshit.
They need to make killing yourself easier. It takes too long to hang yourself and I pussy it too quickly. Fucking bullshit. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"Literally everythingWhy does everything trigger suicidal thoughts.Every little thing.It also doesnt help that everyones main go to joke is that they want to kill themselves.Like just now for instance, my friend stating that they would like to kill themselves as we have math for 3 hours today.Everything is such bullshit.They need to make killing yourself easier.It takes too long to hang yourself and I pussy it too quickly.Fucking bullshit."
] | 92 | Literalmente todoPor qué todo desencadena pensamientos suicidas.Cada pequeña cosa.También no ayuda que todos los principales vayan a bromear es que quieren suicidarse.Como ahora, por ejemplo, mi amigo diciendo que les gustaría suicidarse ya que tenemos matemáticas durante 3 horas hoy.Todo es una mierda.Necesitan hacer que matarse a sí mismo sea más fácil.Se tarda demasiado tiempo en colgarse y lo coño demasiado rápido.Fucking mierda. |
I'm not sure I'll make itI've gotten close to killing myself in the past, but I'm so afraid that I'm not going to make it through this week or the rest of the month. I feel like I'm walking on thin ice and about to plunge through. I've had a lot going on in my life. I should be using this time to figure out who I am, but I don't know who I am anymore. I only see what I've become. And that means I'm a toxic asshole that just causes pain to everyone around me. I've failed the people that I love. I'm not sure if I can keep going knowing what I've done or who I've become. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I'm not sure I'll make itI've gotten close to killing myself in the past, but I'm so afraid that I'm not going to make it through this week or the rest of the month.I feel like I'm walking on thin ice and about to plunge through.I've had a lot going on in my life.I should be using this time to figure out who I am, but I don't know who I am anymore.I only see what I've become.And that means I'm a toxic asshole that just causes pain to everyone around me.I've failed the people that I love.I'm not sure if I can keep going knowing what I've done or who I've become."
] | 159 | No estoy seguro de poder hacerlo.Me he acercado a suicidarme en el pasado, pero tengo tanto miedo de no poder sobrevivir esta semana o el resto del mes.Me siento como si estuviera caminando sobre hielo delgado y a punto de hundirme.He tenido mucho que hacer en mi vida.Debería estar usando este tiempo para averiguar quién soy, pero ya no sé quién soy.Sólo veo en lo que me he convertido.Y eso significa que soy un imbécil tóxico que solo causa dolor a todos a mi alrededor.He fallado a la gente que amo.No estoy seguro de si puedo seguir sabiendo lo que he hecho o en quién me he convertido. |
Holy this has been a big past 2 weeks First: date, kiss, boyfriend, breakup, getting back together, emotionally crying in over a year, job interested in my resume, this kid I've known for over a year remembering my name, and ending the first quarter of school, also made a new friend. | [] | [
"Holy this has been a big past 2 weeks First: date, kiss, boyfriend, breakup, getting back together, emotionally crying in over a year, job interested in my resume, this kid I've known for over a year remembering my name, and ending the first quarter of school, also made a new friend."
] | 65 | Santo esto ha sido un gran pasado 2 semanas Primero: cita, beso, novio, ruptura, volver a estar juntos, llorar emocionalmente en más de un año, trabajo interesado en mi currículum, este chico que he conocido durante más de un año recordando mi nombre, y terminando el primer trimestre de la escuela, también hizo un nuevo amigo. |
Meet the Vagineer (Team Fortress 2 Meme) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Q2Jt7ViIio](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Q2Jt7ViIio) | [] | [
"Meet the Vagineer (Team Fortress 2 Meme)[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Q2Jt7ViIio](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Q2Jt7ViIio)"
] | 64 | Conoce al Vagineer (Fortaleza de Equipo 2 Meme)[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Q2Jt7Vilio](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Q2Jt7Vilio) |
Looking for Pc Players So I am looking for people to play on pc right now (preferably from the UK). I’m mainly playing Destiny 2 and Rainbow 6 siege but I’m open to playing other games send me your discord if you’re interested. | [] | [
"Looking for Pc PlayersSo I am looking for people to play on pc right now (preferably from the UK).I’m mainly playing Destiny 2 and Rainbow 6 siege but I’m open to playing other games send me your discord if you’re interested."
] | 56 | Buscando jugadores de PcAsí que estoy buscando gente para jugar en el pc en este momento (preferiblemente desde el Reino Unido).Estoy principalmente jugando Destiny 2 y Rainbow 6 asedio, pero estoy abierto a jugar otros juegos me envían su discordia si usted está interesado. |
Is it just me who has a really weird music taste? Idk why, but I like so any different genres of music so my [Spotify playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4QF5mUhvXm3lLbhmjUI9gi?si=G4F1SGuTQMGoWfs2IGy0AA) is crazy | [] | [
"Is it just me who has a really weird music taste?Idk why, but I like so any different genres of musicsomy [Spotify playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4QF5mUhvXm3lLbhmjUI9gi?si=G4F1SGuTQMGoWfs2IGy0AA) is crazy"
] | 92 | ¿Soy yo quien tiene un gusto musical realmente extraño?Idk por qué, pero me gusta cualquier género diferente de música [Spotify listlist ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4QF5mUhvXm3lLbhmjUI9gi?si=G4F1SGuTQMGoWfs2IGy0AA) es una locura |
I'm fucked. seriously.
I'm 15, bisexual, and have been beaten by school bullies and shamed on the internet countless times. My parents see the bruises but don't give a shit. I got my dad's gun on the desk, and I'm ready to finish the job. Fuck me. | [
"selfharm"
] | [
"I'm fucked.seriously.I'm 15, bisexual, and have been beaten by school bullies and shamed on the internet countless times.My parents see the bruises but don't give a shit.I got my dad's gun on the desk, and I'm ready to finish the job.Fuck me."
] | 72 | Estoy jodido.En serio.Tengo 15 años, bisexual, y he sido golpeado por matones de la escuela y avergonzado en Internet innumerables veces.Mis padres ven los moretones, pero no me importa una mierda.Tengo la pistola de mi padre en el escritorio, y estoy listo para terminar el trabajo. |
I can’t blame all my problems on my adhd I can’t blame all my problems on my adhd
I can’t blame all my problems on my adhd
I can’t blame all my problems on my adhd | [] | [
"I can’t blame all my problems on my adhd I can’t blame all my problems on my adhd\n\nI can’t blame all my problems on my adhd\n\nI can’t blame all my problems on my adhd"
] | 52 | No puedo culpar a todos mis problemas en mi adhd No puedo culpar a todos mis problemas en mi adhd No puedo culpar a todos mis problemas en mi adhd No puedo culpar a todos mis problemas en mi adhd |
I cleaned up my daily playlist after 4 years! I finally cleared my playlist after 4 years. I had to listen to every song and decide if I want to keep it or delete. Went from 110 songs to 46. Now im feeling super weird and nostalgic. I would love some good song recommendations. | [] | [
"I cleaned up my daily playlist after 4 years!I finally cleared my playlist after 4 years.I had to listen to every song and decide if I want to keep it or delete.Went from 110 songs to 46.Now im feeling super weird and nostalgic.I would love some good song recommendations."
] | 62 | ¡Limpié mi lista de reproducción diaria después de 4 años!Finalmente borre mi lista de reproducción después de 4 años.Tuve que escuchar cada canción y decidir si quiero conservarla o borrarla.Fui de 110 canciones a 46.Ahora me siento súper raro y nostálgico.Me encantaría algunas buenas recomendaciones de canciones. |
11:17pm hello my west coast friends it is the daily check-in. hello how r yall welcome back good to have u kings n queens | [] | [
"11:17pm hello my west coast friends it is the daily check-in.hello how r yall welcome back good to have u kings n queens"
] | 32 | 11:17 pm hola mis amigos de la costa oeste es el check-in diario.hola cómo r yall bienvenida de nuevo bueno para tener u reyes n reinas |