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Narcasist

know I would say to you there are peuta Klee and clinically be mindful of that aspect of yourself that

Narcasist

there are times when you may not have the emotional bandwidth to take something on but a human relationship is

Narcasist

a reciprocal space and that there are times that people are going to expect you to maybe kind of be bigger than that

Narcasist

emotional space you can be it would be exhausting for you on a daily basis I don't think you should be a therapist you know I don't think like that would

Narcasist

play upon your strengths to be honest but I do think that you know it could somebody who is if you love someone and

Narcasist

they're going through a hard time they may need more of that space from you and like I'd say so much of how narcissism

Narcasist

is addressed if you're addressing it clinically is mindfulness and every one of us can bring mindfulness into our

Narcasist

lives you're not even a narcissistic I mean we look at narcissism as always hold on you you said I'm not even nurses

Narcasist

yeah I don't really know I mean the closest you got was like that little bit that emotional you know kind of clip

Narcasist

misses you I should have been more I feel like I need to be a little narcissistic to be like you you if I was

Narcasist

gonna sit here and dissect you sure could I say there was one or two things that you said there was like mmm

Narcasist

superficial like how often do you you know do you are you like are you big into stuff do you care about your whole

Narcasist

like what you wear and what you drive and all of that I don't have a car and I

Narcasist

don't think I've bought a piece of clothing it what so I mean we so but if a person had a phenomenally

Narcasist

great car it doesn't mean they're not empathic we look at it holistically you're you're telling me that your

Narcasist

measure of success is to get meaning and purpose from your work that's it actually sort of the opposite of

Narcasist

narcissism and in fact when we work with narcissistic clients one of the things we try to do is meaning and purpose

Narcasist

focused work thinking that if we can bubble that up to the surface it might help sort of address some of that

Narcasist

emptiness and that insecurity I hear that you're able to be you know strong in the face of meaningful criticism and

Narcasist

that yeah when the criticism comes from a place where you're like seriously you have no place saying this it was a very

Narcasist

normal kind of a reaction back to that you know if your your ratios more were like 20 80 like 80% of the time I can't

Narcasist

tolerate criticism that would give me pause yeah you know you're not talking about a superficial world you're talking

Narcasist

about when you do fall into a loving relationship that you want it to be

Narcasist

where you're both are healthy and growing together not that I need a hot partner I know if I were watching this I

Narcasist

would go well yeah he just talked to the narcissist expert for five hours and they did a therapy session so he's just

Narcasist

going to deliver the answers to make him right see Narcisa I can tell everybody I

Narcasist

was very honest I'm all that's one of my weak and weaknesses and strengths but I

Narcasist

mean is there anything that you can add to did this feel like a valid session to

Narcasist

you or did you feel like I was putting on here's the thing when we're looking at something like narcissism or narcissistic personality

Narcasist

it's a slow burn in in reality it could have taken as weeks or even months of sessions for these patterns to come

Narcasist

clear I've worked with clients it took me six to nine months for me to really see like oh now I know exactly what I'm

Narcasist

dealing with you can get some of the superficial narcissism at a dinner party but the real depths work to get this

Narcasist

that could take a long time I know you I had that advantage College I'm working with you for months so you know I know

Narcasist

enough about you but what I could be lying you know you could be lying and anyone could be lying in therapy and you

Narcasist

know you could all listen you're in an industry that celebrates superficial validation seeking stuff and you do like

Narcasist

being on this side of the camera maybe any of us that you want to be on this side of the camera needs to take a good hard look inside and say why is that

Narcasist

why is it more important for us to be on this side than that psychos or those are absolutely equal roles yeah Timmy so

Narcasist

there is some self-examination that means to happen there you know I I would

Narcasist

over the course of longer-term therapy we look at how do you intersect in your relationships

Narcasist

maybe this pattern of low emotionality is actually something we do need to be more concerned about and as I got to

Narcasist

know more about you and saw how it surfed it surfaced with family with friends with partners with coworkers

Narcasist

I might start to see a pattern there that's not just low emotionality maybe it would evidence as lack of empathy so

Narcasist

this is something that we're good we would have to continue to kind of pull up but you certainly didn't come in here

Narcasist

kind of arrogant and brash you're willing to put yourself out there in this kind of a platform so right out the

Narcasist

gate there's a transparency you use that word a lot I don't know that many narcissist use the word transparency

Narcasist

unless it's a buzzword but you do raise an important point so it can be tricky last thing because I know we're going a

Narcasist

little long can you give me maybe two because of my inability to be as

Narcasist

emotionally available as people want me to be has hurt me yeah better yes and

Narcasist

it's something that if I want to have a successful relationship in the future I'm gonna need yeah so can you give me

Narcasist

like two things that I can do to practice that now while I'm not in a relationship

Narcasist

listen in case and listen to people in situations where it's not as high-stakes you know in a relationship it's higher

Narcasist

stakes but like you know don't be that person is like a stupid person on an airplane is telling me their story you

Narcasist

know I'm so like oh yeah as soon as I can airplane I'm like uh yeah I gotta go alone practice it a little bit you know

Narcasist

do it with with smaller with friends you actually like also listen to your friends starts telling you their

Narcasist

emotional stuff say uh oh man you know watch those reactions because for some people for whom sharing emotional stuff

Narcasist

may not be easy and they see you going like this that might be enough to make them more reluctant to share in that

Narcasist

space you've got to watch your nonverbals you've got a and you have to practice it I mean it's in order to love

Narcasist

people we sometimes have to do things that don't always feel comfortable for us because that's love you know is you

Narcasist

know to really be there for people and hear them and give richness and validation to their

Narcasist

stories by hearing them with an open heart oh god I can do that though I

Narcasist

literally yeah can practice this with people because right now you're so right I avoid it at all cost because I'm like

Narcasist

others as important I'm not practicing acting so how do I be able to do it when

Narcasist

it matters it's not that it doesn't matter now but whenever you like it could be like a friend Connie yammering on about something like that and I could

Narcasist

just I could put my phone away and just go yeah and don't be yeah you don't need

Narcasist

to be like you know all like you know trippy and all that like really just you know lie back in the sofa and hear it

Narcasist

put that phone away be present with it don't let other people's emotions be a place of fear for us you know because

Narcasist

they're not asking you to take them it's not like they're trying to unload cargo on you they're just wanting to they want the simple act of another human being

Narcasist

listening to them because that's really where a relationship happens they'll send more days than not the only thing a partner and two partners might talk

Narcasist

about is who's taking the car this morning and did you remember to get the milk you know that not every day is a big-ticket day in a relationship one of

Narcasist

those big ticket days happen those are the bridges that carry the relationship to the next level and that's where

Narcasist

narcissistic people can't go so while I'm not seeing those patterns for you I do think practice it because being there

Narcasist

for another person emotionally is a practice skill and in our technologically soaked womb people are

Narcasist

not good at being there for other people they're so distracted they're like fondling their phones put it away

Narcasist

look at that person be present with them stop doing your grocery list in your mind and be in the room yes oh my gosh

Narcasist

this was so good for me loved ones and

Narcasist

hopefully you know a partner or even when you're dating this create a healthier space and if you notice this

Narcasist

broad pattern and someone else who can't be with your emotional space at all and that's also a red flag for you but like

Narcasist

listen you know I'm not you don't seem like mr. narcissism you're you know given that you're in this industry you

Narcasist

live in LA you know you're young you're you know all the things that kind of are the flame under that yeah under that pot

Narcasist

kind of thing doesn't seem to be happening of a holistic healthy sense of yourself remember you have a solid sense of yourself the

Narcasist

rest emanates from that and so I believe that I've been up that hard a little bit more and my future spouse thanks you oh

Narcasist

he'll be a much better listener by then thank you guys for watching this simulated therapy session with myself