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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Getting harassed online; should I report it or not?
POST: Around March, I met someone through the internet, and we became friends. He is 20-22 (can't remember his exact age at the moment) and lives in Canada, I am 17 and American. After a while I developed feelings for him, and basically camwhored for him a number of times. Things were pretty fine and dandy for a while, but starting in October he started to get, well, scary. Incredibly rude to me, calling me a bitch when I tried to stand up for myself, telling me I needed to be beaten, ect. It's gotten to the point where I don't want to log on anymore, because he scares me that much.
I know I have three options- I can either ignore it, pretend everythings fine and dandy when in reality he makes me cry; I can block him, but I've seen the way he reacts to people who block him and it is an unpleasant situation to go through; or I can report him to the police or FBI, which I'm wary about because I feel like a child crying to the teacher (and frankly, there are larger things for them to worry about than my stupidity). My greatest fear is that, whatever I do, he will dox me, and because I'm underage I can be charged with distributing child porn and be forced to register as a sex offender. Maybe I'm overreacting, but I feel helpless and trapped and like death (or faking my death) is the only option at this point
TL;DR: | Was an idiot, cammed with older guy, now he's frightening and I'm begging reddit for some advice. I really have nowhere else to turn at this point. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21f] don't think my boyfriend [21M] thinks I'm attractive
POST: During sex, just as things start to get really heated, he'll stop to get up and turn off the lights. Sometimes he'll turn on the lamp beside his bed, but that doesn't happen too often. Back before we started dating, I didn't care too much... But now that we are, it makes me feel hella self-conscious. It doesn't happen as often now (still does quite a bit, though) but that doesn't change the fact that it almost always used to happen before. I feel like maybe him being um, to put it nicely, "unimpressed" with my face might have something to do with it. Also good (or embarrassing) to note that he has a "thing" for doggy.
TL;DR: | boyfriend has a "thing" for sex in the dark, also has a "thing" for doggy, both happen very often, think it's because he finds me uggz |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [23/F] found text messages from a man on my boyfriend's phone [21/M]
POST: I've been seeing this guy for over 6 months, we've had a wonderful relationship that felt exactly like a fairy tale.
It's hard to explain how I saw the text message, but I definitely wasn't snooping and found this text by complete accident.
Anyways, I found a conversation with an unsaved number and opened it
"Would you ever consider being a bottom?" the number asked
"Maybe with time" my boyfriend replied.
I did't see anymore of the conversation because he took his phone from my hands. He began panicking and acting very guilty and I made him leave my apartment.
A few days later, we talked and he explained to me that before he met me he thought he was bisexual and met up with a guy to "fool around" but found it "wasn't for him" and he met me shortly after.
He said that the unknown number had just texted him to see if he wanted to meet up again and he declined, and only replied about being a bottom because he "wants everyone to like him".
He tells me that he is straight (I don't care if he's bi, but the way I found out was not ideal) and loves me, but I feel betrayed that he even entertained the idea, and furthermore, never told me he might be bisexual. I feel like there may be more to the story but he is hiding it from me to save our relationship.
I know that he has issues with being passive and a people-pleaser, so his story isn't so far-fetched. And before all of this, he nearly worshiped me and loved me in ways I've never been loved.
I'm just lost as to figuring out if our relationship is worth saving or if it's obvious he has some things he needs to work on?
TL;DR: | Found sexual text message on my boyfriend's phone from a guy, never knew he was bi-sexual and don't know if this is forgivable. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28 M] with my more than friends [33 F] known each other since the summer, I want to send her flowers on valentines day, but i have an issue. Crosspost from R/dating advice
POST: Some background: Me 28M and her 33F met in sept 2014 in her home state and went out once. Decided we want to keep in contact after the one date. Then She visited me in my home state twice since then. Now since last she visited was last month and things went from casual to little more serious then before leaving we had the talk and decided since we dont want to do a long distance thing right now, but agreed we want to continue what we have right now and see where it goes as she does plan on moving to my home state soon.
Anyways i want to send her valentines day flowers, but there was never a situation where we needed each homes addresses. So i dont know how to get her address without sounding suspicious about valentines day. I guess i can search online, but wouldn't that be really creepy?? i guess i can ask her friend also i dont want a third party involved ether.
Any suggestions? also i plan on sending a mixed bouquet of flowers cause i know roses are something for more serious.
TL;DR: | i want to send her valentines flowers, but we never needed to exchange home addresses. Also we live in different states. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 F] with my roommate [23 F] since August, how do I bail on my lease without hurting her feelings?
POST: Let me start by saying that my roommate is an incredibly sweet girl. We met on an incoming students' group for my new school, and she seemed like a perfect roomie-match. She took the initiative in apartment hunting for us, and found us this stellar (though pricey) place.
Since we moved in together though, we've had some problems. She cries. Constantly. Like three out of five days a week, I come home to her crying over school or her boyfriend or just something. We've had some issues with when she has friends over as well, since she's invited people over while she's not home and I'm trying to study, and I just came home to an apartment full of people on a weeknight.
I also have a fantastic boyfriend of two years, who I was planning on moving in with until circumstances got in the way (he didn't know he'd be in the same city until after I'd signed my lease). He's now in an amazing apartment, just as conveniently located, and moving in with him would save me about $400 a month. I really want to move in with him, but I don't want to insult my roommate or leave her in the lurch for the rest of the rent or stuck with some craigslist roommate. Any advice?
TL;DR: | Want to bail on my lease to move in with my boyfriend, but don't want to offend my very sweet and perhaps emotionally unstable roomie. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Sexually assaulted 10+ years ago by teacher
POST: I was sexually assaulted (groped) by a teacher 11 years ago in Wisconsin. I was 13 years old, naive, scared and never reported it. Now I feel extremely guilty knowing this creep is still a teacher and could have a decade's worth of victims just like me. I read up on my state's statute of limitations and I think I am still within the time frame to be able to do something about it.
I just need to know if I should be going straight to the police or if I should try and find a lawyer first. I am not interested in receiving any type of settlement whatsoever, I just want there to be a record of his actions. I was assaulted on a class retreat and I witnessed him possibly assaulting another girl the day after I was attacked. I never confronted her or asked about it. I am hoping to contact her now, but we are complete strangers and I was hoping for some advice on how to go about that.
I know it was incredibly dumb for me to not have reported anything when I was younger but I was honestly extremely confused and had convinced myself that it was an accident for YEARS. Any advice regarding taking action now would be appreciated!
TL;DR: | Groped by teacher 11 years ago when I was 13. Should I go straight to police or lawyer up? How should I go about contacting other possible victims? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by telling over 100 visiting basketball fans that they could not fuck us.
POST: So this fuck up actually happened yesterday. (I wanted to share this which is why I made this account really) So I work for a basketball court/arena in Delaware for a semi-pro team called the Ducks. My job is to decorate the scoreboard with colorful messages and such and our team's recent new catchphrase is "You can't duck us!". I'm prepping the messages before the game and since I'm already late I'm in a rush so I do everything five minutes before the game stars... That was close! So all I do now is go court side and work the points from there. So I'm relaxing and watching the bearing our team is taking and the trade mark "You can't Duck us" cheer starts. And the scoreboard is right on time with the delivery. Except mid cheer the audience starts pointing and laughing at the score board. Since it's my job to prep that thing I look up and my face instantly turns red when I see in giant Gold and White letters:
"YOU CAN'T FUCK US"
Damn it! I run through all the chaos as fast as I can and I'm looking for a way to cancel this message because it's a set schedule it follows so in panic, I shut down the whole thing. The second half of the basketball game was done without a scoreboard. I'm also now on probation by my manager.
TL;DR: | I was in a rush and I accidentally told the visiting audience that "You can't fuck us" and almost lost my job. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Do I [24 M] tell my girlfriend[25 F] dating 1.5years, that sometimes I fantasise exclusively of men? We have a monogamous relationship and she knows I'm Bi.
POST: I've asked in /r/Bisexual as well...figured I shouldn't limit my potential responses to a particular demographic. But of course, they would be able to offer insight as well.
She knows I'm Bi and that I've been with a man before. I know that it's normal to sometimes fantasise exclusively about men.
I just want to know, in a steady monogamous relationship, where all of this essentially amounts to head-porn; would you bother having this conversation with your girlfriend, or simply avoid it and leave things be?
I don't want her to think there is some purpose to this, it's just something that happens to me. In my head, this only ends up blowing out of proportion. We've joked about threesomes and stuff but I'm not really looking for anything of the sort, I'm very happy with just her.
How would you go about it? Would you at all?
TL;DR: | Bi guy thinking Bi things, how do I ensure my gf knows I'm just talking casually about it, if I tell her what I'm thinking. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My partner (23M) is scared to move away from home. How do I make it less scary?
POST: I've been in a long distance relationship with my partner for over 3 years (I'm 20, F/Q). We see each other 2 weekends a month, and I sometimes stay with him during holidays. We're both agreed that we're a strong enough relationship that we're likely to be together the rest of our lives. We're pragmatic enough to know that it might not work out, but we expect it to.
I'm at university in a city I love and he really likes. With my parents help I have a mortgage on a nice house here. He's at a job he hates in a city I hate and he only likes a little bit. He's openly said that the reason he doesn't want to move here to be with me is that he's scared of losing his social support networks-friends he's hung out with for years. This is of course an entirely valid concern-needing to make new friends in a new place is an intimidating thing. He also suffers from social anxiety, which obviously makes it more difficult.
I'm planning on taking him to special interest social groups (gamer groups, anime groups, metal fan groups, etc) to try and help him meet people he can form new friendships with (then leaving the groups myself because its important for him to have friends and spaces he can go to without me-I'd just be going initially because he'd be too shy to go to something alone until he'd already met people there), but I'm not sure how effective this will be.
I'm looking for any advice as to how to make this easier and more effective. How else can I help him to build a social network here? How can I make what I'm already planning to do work better? How can I do any of this when he's only here 2 weekends a month?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend is scared to move in with me because it would mean leaving his friends behind in another city. How do I help him make new friends before he moves here? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by using a temporary tattoo.
POST: This happened yesterday.
I was sitting around my house waiting for the cable guys to come fix my internet and I was **super** bored. I was just walking around my house when I found a pack of Disney themed temporary tattoos.
That's when I get a great idea. "I should put the Minnie Mouse Tattoo on my forehead to fuck with the cable guys!" I text my friend asking him to hang out and I tell him about this dumb little prank.
I apply the tattoo and sat around my house for hours waiting for these guys to show up. So long in fact that *I had forgotten that I even put the tattoo on*. In the mean time I'm still texting my friend and I ask him for a ride to Gamestop so I can return some games.
He comes and picks me up, we have good conversation and go to the store, neither of us commenting about the Minnie Mouse on my head because initially my hair was slightly covering it. It's pretty windy as we walk towards the store and it must have blown my hair out of the way. We walk in and I go towards the cashier. Normally at this point in a visit to any store the employee initiates some sort of conversation like "What can I help you with?" but this guy is just standing there staring at me. I'm trying to figure out why he looks so confused but I can't think of any reason for this *"The fuck is wrong with you?"* look he's giving me.
We end up having a really awkward transaction and my friend and I walk out of the store. As soon as I get into the car it hits me that the entire time I had been in there I had a plainly visible Minnie Mouse tattoo proudly displayed on my forehead like I was some kind of fucking psychopath and I didn't even acknowledge it.
Needless to say, my friend and I were out of breath from laughing so fucking hard.
TL;DR: | Went to the store with a Minnie Mouse tattoo on my face, got judged by the supreme beings that are Gamestop employees. |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: The hope of us getting back together is the only thing keeping me sane
POST: I (20M) was recently broken up with by her (19F) after 11 months together. We had become extremely close and despite how young we are, we imagined a future together. We were both each others first serious relationship.
There were no problems with us and we went together so well, but she broke up with me after I went to a strip club for a friends birthday and then lied about it to her. I acknowledge how I was wrong and I have learnt from that, but she says she is too hurt.
Now I know that I am only 20 years old, but I cant imagine ever loving someone like I did with her again. I cant ever imagine being intimate, sharing things, enjoying the things we did with anyone else. And I know I need to accept her decision. But it breaks my heart and I feel like I have lost the person closest to me. I can't stop thinking about her and I feel like I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me.
And the only thing I can tell myself to calm myself down is that maybe after some time we will get back together. I know I need to accept that she has decided this and I know I shouldn't hope for something unlikely, but this is the only thing keeping me going. I keep imagining that a few months down the line, we will talk again and maybe give it another shot.
What can I do? I know it is not healthy to think like this, but I can't help it.
TL;DR: | I know that i am meant to accept we are over, but I keep thinking that maybe there is a second chance for us. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [22/m] I'm usually fairly good with women, but this one i just cannot get my head around..
POST: So there's this girl who i've known since i was like 12 and I've always been friend-zoned but we've remained really close and get along really well. We've both had a relationships with others and have remained friends throughout.
I'm usually fairly confident at picking up women etc. but last week at a party me and the this girl had a drunken make-out and i pretty much confessed that i always had a thing for her. Ever since i just cannot stop thinking about her, but i find it really hard to bring up since we've known each other for so long.
I really am crazy about her in the sort of way which i haven't felt since i was a stupid love-stricken teenager. Any advice on what i should do!? all input would be much appreciated! I know i just need to man-up and talk to her about it but goshdarn it that ain't easy!
TL;DR: | had a drunken moment of passion with a really close old friend, now I have mad feelings for her but find it hard to bring up due to our friendship. Advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I'm [25/m] not sure if she's [24/f] the 'one'. Is it bad to check other girls out or want them?
POST: I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 5 years. I love her, things are going just fine. I feel comfortable around her. The honeymoon phase is over. I believe this to be normal. However, whenever I see a beautiful girl passing me by, I sometimes wonder if it would be more fun to date her/do things with her/ have sex with her. I can get really happy when I notice a nice girl and she notices me back. Is this normal?
I like the thought of being together with someone all my life, but I wonder if it's more normal to have different partners throughout a life time.
TL;DR: | I sometimes wonder if my SO is the one, because I enjoy it immensely if I see a beautiful girl and wonder how it would be to have a relationship/date with her. Is this a sign that I'm not happy? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Little problem regarding discussions about Muslims, need some help.
POST: Every time the news is on, there is something about the Ground Zero mosque, now the burqa in France thing. Whenever something like this is on the news, I hear my mother and step dad saying "Yeah, I'm with that!" yelling to the television about how it is right and the good thing to do. It's getting really tough for me to not say "Why do you think that?".
I tried that today though, even though my brain was shouting "Don't say it, there will be a useless argument, stop it!", and my mother and I got in an argument. I won't go in depth, but the most things she had to say were "I don't agree with you", "You're wrong", "You should read the newspaper more". Upon me asking "Why don't you agree with me?" she responds with "You don't have any knowledge of this, you should read more".
Whenever I get her in the corner (discussion wise), she takes one word from my previous sentence and starts a discussion about something completely off-topic.
About my discussion capabilities. This morning I asked a classmate what he was thinking about the mosque at Ground Zero, he said he was against the mosque being build there.
"So why are you against it?"
"Because people in America lost family members that were at the WTC"
"Muslims also were in the WTC at the time, shouldn't they get to pray?"
"That's a fairly straight point, I guess you're right"
TL;DR: | My mother is very anti Muslim but doesn't see it, in an argument I just can't get her to see my point, like I'm talking to a wall. |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Have you made a family member cry like this, Reddit?
POST: One day when my family was eating out, we found out this girl named.....Ashley had this creepy crush on my younger brother (at the time he was in 5th grade) and started making jokes about it during dinner. It was my family of five, with my two cousins and their mom and our grandparents. We were sitting on one side of the table and the adults were on the other. My cousins were making jokes about the girl to him, and he was getting pretty mad and upset. I was bored, and so in my bored and adolescent mind, I decided to join in, and make more eloquent jokes than them. This was a fancy restaurant, so etiquette says to try and be as quiet as you can. I didn't really care, so I first made a joke about him and her having a baby, and naming it "babyash" after her. He got extremely mad at this, and then I said "Let's play hangman. I'm thinking of a word that has seven letters. Hint: It starts with b and ends with abyash". He either got so mad he started crying or so upset he was crying, but the whole point was he started crying and then everyone (including the adults) were laughing at him.
TL;DR: | 1) eating at a restaurant 2) found out 5th grade brother had a stalker 3) made fun of him for it 4) bawled his brains out |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Mom's gambling addiction xpost from r/addiction
POST: My mom is a gambling addict. She is divorced from my father and lives in a different state than my brother and I (we are both in our mid twenties). She has had an on again off again gambling addiction for the last 10 years. Recently it's gotten so bad that her house is being foreclosed on. She has a job, but it is pretty low paying; there is no way that she can support both the house, bills, and gambling addiciton. Also she is really depressed.
She has no real friends, no hobbies, and no boyfriend. She has recieved loans from her brother, my dad (her ex husband), and her mother and has managed to gamble it all away. Now that everyone is on to the game, they have stopped loaning her money. She claims that she is no longer gambling, and at one point claimed to be attending gambler's anonymous meetings, but since she is in another state, there is no real way to tell if she actually is.
My mom has always been on the more immature side. She refuses to accept any responsibility for her problems. When I talk to her I feel like I am the parent and she is the kid. I don't want to lecture her, because I know it is useless, but I am at a loss for how to communicate with her.
TL;DR: | Mom has a gambling addiciton. She is immature and doesn't take responsibility for her actions. How can I commuicate effectively with her and help her get help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: How do I invest in stocks?
POST: My situation is this:
* I'm 19
* I live with my parents
* I work with my dad
* My living expense is $0
* I have approximately $10,000 in my bank account
And I have a lot of questions.
How do I get into the stock market?
Can I just talk to a broker and purchase stocks immediately, or is it a multiple-day/week affair?
Do I have to go through a broker or is there a way I can do it myself?
If I can manage my own stocks, how often can I buy and sell?
Could I hypothetically buy and sell stocks all day, for pennies of profit?
Is there a limit on amount of purchases and sales per time period?
I'm under the impression it's better to invest in high-risk stocks at my age - is this correct?
Is it a good idea to put all of my money into stocks or some sort of investment besides a savings account, or should I keep some of it in the bank?
TL;DR: | I'm a kid who has no idea how the stock market works, but I think it's a good idea for me to get into investing beyond the bank. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: A famous heavy metal band re-posted & re-tweeted one of my articles on their music, leading to my best readership statistics ever - the day before my birthday. What are some surprises you received on (or near) your birthday that happened to be completely coincidental?
POST: For those of you interested, last week I wrote a [review] of "Stalingrad", the title track of the upcoming album by German heavy metal legends Accept. As per usual, I posted the completed article to the band's Facebook page and Twitter feed, figuring I'd get a hit or two by some bored fans.
Woke up Sunday to see that Accept (or whoever manages their online profiles) had re-posted my review from their Facebook feed, and re-tweeted it on Twitter, causing a HUGE spike in my readership statistics. In the four days it had been up before the re-posting, the article had logged 85 hits. On Sunday, that number shot up to 853.
By comparison, my previous most-read article has 440 hits.
Completely unbeknownst to anyone (except myself, and now all three of you reading), all this happened the day before my birthday. I haven't told too many people that it's now my birthday (except the now two of you reading this), so getting a nod from an awesome band (and one I had the pleasure of seeing live last year) the day before what I hope will be a quiet little birthday was very cool.
TL;DR: | A big heavy metal band gave my writing some free publicity the day before my birthday. Anybody have any similar experiences where the universe just...aligns right? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [20M] have a crush on my friend [21 F] who lives on the other side of the country, but we haven't seen each other in a while.
POST: I've already posted this on /r relationships but I'm just trying to get as much advice as possible. There's quite a bit of background to this but I'll do my best to avoid a wall of text.
I first met this girl my freshmen year of college about two years ago, where we shared classes together the first semester. We got to know each other relatively well and exchanged numbers, mostly for school related business. However we soon started hanging out more often, became friends on facebook, and became more casual with texts to the point where I developed a huge crush on her. I learned over the course of the semester that she had a boyfriend back in her home state but I knew better than to interfere so I continued our friendship until she ended up transferring at the end of the semester to another university in her home state.
At this point I practically forgot about her and didn't speak to her for about a year until facebook reminded me her birthday was coming up. Not wanting to conform to the usual facebook posts, I texted her in February because I'd saved her number and she actually replied back, thanking me. What happened next, I didn't expect. We've been texting ever since.
She asked me how I'd been, how my classes were coming, interests, and basically how life was. These conversations have been going on since February and while its been enjoyable, its been near torture because its brought up all the old feelings and the crush has resumed. She's texted me pictures of herself, started conversations, and casually mentioned once or twice that she'd broken up with her boyfriend. These are things no other girl in my entire life has ever shared with me. I'm not sure she is aware of my feelings for her.
Yes, I know I'm a bit of wuss for not admitting anything to her but the fact that she lives in another state and is unlikely to visit causes me to rethink everything every time. What I am looking to get out of this post is whether to just admit my feelings to her, or to slowly let this relationship slowly float away. Every single day that goes by is another day that the crush worsens.
TL;DR: | Texting with a crush in another state who is probably unaware of my feelings. Do I admit everything or just let this one slide because we are unlikely to see each other? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's the most randomly insulting thing that you've been called by someone you've just met. I'll start.
POST: I've been looking for a job for the past couple months so that I can afford to move out of my parents house and pay for next years tuition. Until then I have no money so I get around by bike. Also, being a bit of a dork I carry around a plastic light saber, wear a this awesome hat that looks like something Joseph Stalin would wear, goggles, and frequently a My Little Pony T-shirt. I think it also helps to add that I live in Arizona and have blond shoulder length hair.
Anyways, My friend started dating this girl that I don't know, and she invited me to a party full of people I've never met. I'm mingling and avoiding the alcohol with a cup full of orange fanta. I seem to be doing pretty well; talking to this group of guys and generally being awesome when this girl walks up to me and says "You're that creepy faggot who rides who ride's around on a bike." Not mad at all; just making conversation. I said something to the effect of "yeah, that's me." and blew her off, but I was really offend and kinda hurt. anyway didn't ruin the night. It just kinda threw me off.
TL;DR: | I dress weird and ride a bike. A gilr called me "that creepy faggot who rides who ride's a bike." Feels bad man. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [21/M] of 1 1/2yrs said that if I [21/F] don't want kids, relationship is waste of time
POST: I am definitely not ready to have children and I don't particularly want children later in life. It's not something that I am even thinking about right now. If I fell pregnant at this time in my life I would get an abortion (I had a pregnancy scare a couple of months ago and when I said I would get an abortion if I had to, my boyfriend called me a murderer). The idea of childbirth actually kind of frightens and disgusts me and if I did want kids later on I like to think that I would adopt.
My boyfriend talks about babies a lot and wants to be a father. He brings it up often even though he knows how I feel about the matter. The other day, we were talking about it again and he said, "Well, if you don't want to have my kids then this relationship is a waste of time, I'll have to go and find someone who will."
This really hurt me. To know that he would only be dating me to soften me up to bear his children, that he would leave me for someone who would have his kids if it came to it. And the fact that he said it as such a throwaway comment, it really hurt.
I don't know if I should break up with him over this. Of course, I don't want to break up with him at all and I don't know how serious he was about this statement. When I told him how his statement made me feel he just kind of laughed it off like I was overreacting. Am I overreacting? I don't know what to do!
TL;DR: | My boyfriend wants kids in the future but I don't, he said that if I don't want to then our relationship is a waste of time. Should I leave him or am I overreacting? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [27F] met a really great guy [32M] who doesn't currently live in my city but is moving here soon. A few weeks later, I met another [24M]. Am so confused!
POST: I'll try to explain this as well as I can! So, about a month ago, I [27M] met someone [32M] who I had an instant connection with - I will call him A. We shared a sense of humor and he was incredibly genuine and kind. The unfortunate side of the situation is that he was only in town for a week for work. We exchanged contact information before he left, and we have been texting every so often throughout the past few weeks. He recently told me that he will be moving to my city for work in about 3 weeks which, naturally, I was excited about.
Recently, about a week ago, I met another really great guy [24M] who lives in my city, I will call him B. He asked me out, and I said yes as A and I are in nowhere near a committed realtionship, and I was really just curious about B. Sometimes dates are fun and are just a great way to meet new people and have good conversation. Anyhow, we went on a date that lasted for hours and had a great connection as well. We have only gone on one date, and, based on things he says, B is already showing signs of wanting to be in a relationship.
B is a great guy, but I hardly know him and I don't want things to move too fast. And my mind is still extremely curious about the connection I had with A. I want to know if it was real or if it was just a crush.
Any one out there who has had a similar experience and/or can offer some wisdom on how I should handle this situation? Any input is greatly appreciated!!
TL;DR: | had great connection with one guy who left town but is moving back; met another great one who currently lives in my city. Not sure what to do! |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I deleted my account hoping to destroy all traces; it didn't happen that way.
POST: Stupidly, when I joined reddit I used a username I use for many other things as well. It'd be easy to say that it was me. And during my time on reddit, I did and said some things that I'd rather step away from. Naturally, thinking "this is just a website, I don't really lose anything if I delete it", I thought I would be set if I just blew up the whole thing. Well as you might have known (unlike me) that's not how it works. Now things that I'm afraid will be seen are stuck in the internet and I don't even have access to individual my activities to delete them.
Yes, I realize what I did was pretty damn stupid. I'm just looking for a solution so I can make it go away. Is there one? Otherwise, I will always have this nagging fear that reddit, a site that prides itself being an internet site for the people of the internet, will end up ruining me the way we often fear google or facebook will do.
TL;DR: | I stupidly deleted my account and I would like to know if there is any way at all to make everything on that account go away. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Why is it such a crime to care about money when it comes to a career?
POST: This is something that has been bothering lately. I have been considering where my life is going in the next 10 years, and have been filling out some career worksheets that ask questions like:
What interests me the Most? What are my current Skills and Strengths for pursuing these interests?
What is most important to me in my work?
I have been being honest with myself and money places quite high on that list. In the past though, I have been offered jobs that I have turned down because they do not pay enough, and have been told by recruiters that I am to focused on money.
Why is that a bad thing? I really enjoy travel and nice toys and I find a lot of happiness in the things money can provide. The question is, why is it viewed as such a crime to place money as your primary focus when it comes to your career? Personally I like my career field and I want to make as much money as possible, as long as there is a good happiness / money balance I do not see why society views that as such a bad thing.
TL;DR: | Why does society see perusing money first to be such a bad thing if money can provide safety and to an extend happiness? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hey Reddit, I'm fairly certain that my girlfriend of 4 months is planning to break up with me. What should I do?
POST: Small backstory: We spent Valentine's day at my house, we ate bacon all day, watched a movie, had a grand ol' time.
In the morning, I left notes around my bathroom for her to find. This led to an origami rose that I make only for Valentine's Day which leads to another note wiped into the calcium deposits of my shower door: "I love you." (We've never said it to each other. After this gesture, I did but she didn't.)
Fast forward to that evening. She borrows my computer for awhile while I'm cooking. After cooking, I use my computer while she is gathering her stuff for me to take her home. I find her blog open among my tabs. I click on it and read her reaction to it. Apparently, it was pretty awesome. However, she scolds herself for putting off breaking up with me (Contemplating for a few weeks). I don't mention it to her at all. I take her home and that's that.
TL;DR: | I did something awesome, putting myself out there for her on Valentine's, find out she's planning to break up with me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I need help with a girl i really really like
POST: Hey everyone this my 1st submit to any subreddit(i'm glad i found this one :) ) ever and also English isn't my first language, so sorry for any grammar mistakes and too much text.
So I'm 17 years old, 3rd year of High school.During these last 3 years I've been acting really anti-social, i would not talk to anyone during school, only to my best friend that i know for very long time (when i was not antisocial).People would always ask me why am i not talking and try to talk to me.Lately I've been more open and talkative and i already see results, I'm invited to parties, going out with them, talk etc.
Now that I've solved that problem, there is one girl that i can't stop thinking of(i'm happy when i get some sleep now and then), I'm crazy about her.The thing is while i was anti-social she was trying to be friend with me, we were sitting together during classes, and i was acting like a jerk.Now that I've stopped being depressed i don't know how to start over with her, even to be friend.Once I even told her that I'm crazy about her, and she responded saying that she is currently in relationship and we could maybe go out sometimes.I just ignored that cause i was really sad i thought it would be better just to forget about her, easier said then done...Since then we haven't spoken 1 word, not even hi and we go together to class.
I would appreciate your thoughts and help.I am not afraid to ask her out just i think we have nothing in common(maybe that we like video games) and it would be really hard to start conversation with her then.. :(
Or i should maybe just give up?
TL;DR: | Crazy about girl in class that i have hardly ever spoken with for 3 years that i know her, she knows that i like her, can't start a conversation because nothing in common |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: He says he thought he was ready but he was wrong.
POST: Me 28f. Him 24m. Dating 1.5 yrs. Long distance with the expectation of moving to the same area in approximately a year. We fell for each other hard. For months, I was under the impression this was the man I was going to marry.
Things were so awesome up until about six months ago. Around that time I noticed he was sort of...pulling away. I questioned him about it then and he said his feelings hadn't changed.
About a week ago we had a huge fight. He has been depressed lately due to some issues at work. During this fight he shared with me that he thought he was ready for the type of commitment I want but he's not. He says he wants to stay with me and date me but that he feels we need to know each other better. That he thinks I am probably somebody he would want to marry in the future but that he doesn't know for sure.
That he wants to live his life and not feel like he has to check in with someone all the time. That he's not ready for that level of commitment. He said that he really never was but that his patience was higher in the beginning for the type of behavior expected in that type of relationship. Now that time has passed, he doesn't want to be that involved.
Since this revelation, I have felt sad and numb. Sad because I would often daydream about our future together and that's a big question mark now. Numb because I don't really feel like I know what is going on emotionally.
My question: Is this something that can be done? Can I take a step back and engage in this different type of relationship? Is he using me? I'm so confused.
I do feel like I was starting to lose myself in the relationship so I have been taking steps to do things for me and get involved in activities. I just love this guy so much. I'm so hurt and confused. Since all this, I've pulled back and spent more time on me. Strangely enough, my boyfriend is more complimentary than ever but it feels like there's a wall between us now.
TL;DR: | Was in serious relationship with boyfriend. Boyfriend says he wants to slow things down and no longer looks at me as his future partner, just a potential future partner. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: When I was 11-12 at a bible camp, I may have seen a ghost, or had a vivid hallucination. Same thing happened to me at 18, in my garage last summer. Details inside, if interested. My question is, how many people of reddit have actually seen something similar?
POST: The first instance, I was in the top bunk on the first night of a weekend trip. I have a phobia of sleep (from past abuse) that was much, much worse then. Especially when I was in a new place.
So, I was laying on my left side, facing the wall, with my eyes closed trying to get some sleep, hoping the sounds of the other girls all sleeping would lull me to sleep. Well, I decided to flip over because I felt like something was staring at me. I turned, and there was a blond girl, probably around 15. She was wearing a white dress, though I don't remember what design. She had a completely blank expression on her face as she stared at me. I gasp, close my eyes, open them, and she was gone.
Now, there weren't any girls on the trip who looked like her, besides, she was standing above me, I could see her from the waist up, and I was on the top bunk. I never knew if she was a ghost/spirit/whatever you call it, or just a hallucination.
The second instance was recently. In the summer. I was getting home from a late night walk, and opened my garage door to get to my house, when I saw a man sitting in a chair in front of me to the left. I'd like to point out that my boyfriend and I were letting a friend of ours live in our garage temporarily, so all of his things were there, including the chair.
The man actually looked similar to the friend who was staying there, but couldn't have been him for several reasons. 1: Julian (the friend) was gone for the weekend. 2: He disappeared after I closed my eyes, like the girl. 3: He smiled really creepy (possibly because of the shadows, and waved with a weird flick of the wrist.
TL;DR: | Saw a 15 yr old girl hovering waist high beside a top bunk when i was 11. Saw a man sitting in a dark garage. Both disappeared when I closed my eyes. |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: I'm getting evicted during finals, should I tell my professors?
POST: I am a student living with a family(landlords) who have been in the house we are staying in for the past 22 years. During Feb. I found a foreclosure notices posted on the door with a threat of eviction. I brought it to my landlord and he told me that they got them all of the time and it was a popular scheme in the neighborhood to get the tenants out so the house could be robbed. (I've heard this happen to other people) This morning my landlady sits me down and tells me that we have to be out of the house by today, May 1st. I have a huge test tomorrow that I have been studying for but I am so overwhelmed by stress that I can't concentrate.
She then goes to the bank and returns telling me she got an extension and that we absolutely have to be out of the house by June 1st. I asked her about the eviction notice and she told me she and her husband have been trying to decide what to do. Normally a 1 month notice wouldn't be that bad except I am taking 20 units and have staggering test/projects/finals up to the 25th. I know this is life, and it happens but should I let my professors know?
TL;DR: | Landlords didn't tell me about the eviction notice was supposed to be evicted today, have a month, staggering tests/projects/finals till the 25th of May. Should I let my teacher know? |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Post Marathon recovery? How long and what do you do?
POST: Last one from me in this series, promise :) My perspective is that of a keen amateur with no running ambition, other than having fun running and staying healthy for years to come... Veteran-1 next year ;)
It's been 3 weeks since Paris and I just finished my first week training with a first 10Km run.
I said in my last post that my first 6-7Km run felt great. The day after didn't. So I gave it 2 days rest, another 7Km run after that, 1 day rest and today (Sat) I just finished my first 10Km run.
Various pains after the Marathon pretty much prevented me from running any sooner. Foot pain right after the Marathon and for pretty much 2 weeks after. Overlapping was a back of the knee pain (on the same leg) + sore calf.
Legs pain are interesting. Some you need to watch very carefully but some are just your body telling you it's fed-up with you. Knowing which one's which is the most difficult.
Also on being out of shape: HR around 171 today (hot) when it should've been around 148-155 and rest rate at 95 after 1/2 hour when it should've been down to 70-80 by now.
But, it's not all doom and gloom. I'm back running and managed not to faint a single time in the weeks following my second marathon.
Hopefully this will come as a warning: It took me 2.5 years from couch to first Marathon. 1 year later (running a good 60-70Km a week in my last 4 months), knowing what I was putting myself through, I still managed to get hurt and needed 2 weeks rest and probably another 4-6 weeks slowly ramping-up the effort to fully recover.
TL;DR: | Cleared a backlog of various pains in the 3 weeks post Paris, ran a first 10Km today, so far so good but still completely out of shape. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it worth breaking up over him flirting?
POST: 22F here in my first relationship. He's a 28M and we've been dating almost 9 months.
So here's my problem: when we're out with friends, he's very flirtatious (sitting on other girls' laps, having them sit on his, smacking their butts, hugging them, etc.). This in itself isn't necessarily a problem. It hurts my feelings, but it's not necessarily a dealbreaker. He's expressed that this is just how his personality is, though when we first started dating he never did these things.
The real problem is when he does this things at a get together and doesn't pay any attention to me. It's then that I feel like I'm a second banana; the girl he goes home with, but not the girl he's really interested in. I'm the fallback, it seems, and that's unacceptable to me. This has only happened a couple of times recently, but I fear it's only going to get worse from here.
I plan on talking to him tonight about it (fuck, I'm nervous and scared... I'm shaking at work. :( ). I have a friend who's in a similar situation, but has seemingly resigned herself to being his cuckhold and I have always vowed to never settle like that. If my boyfriend can't change (and I mean really change, not just put in the effort for a month or two and reverting), then I feel like I have to break up with him. I hate feeling jealous and like I'm competing for my boyfriend's attention, and I hate how unattractive and lonely it makes me feel.
Is it crazy of me to feel this way? And is it really worth breaking up over something as seemingly harmless as flirting?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend likes to physically flirt with other girls, it hurts when he ignores me while he does this. Is it worth breaking up over? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20F], getting frustrated with my [28 M] sheltered boyfriend of 1.5 years not having common sense.
POST: My boyfriend and I have been living together for a while now and I'm getting really frustrated with him not really having common sense about simple things and maybe being a little bit selfish? He's not mean or unwilling to do things, he just doesn't think to do chores and stuff himself or finish them. for example, when he feeds our cats he drops cat food all over the floor, I told him to be more careful and he still did it the next time and didn't clean it up. Or he'll wipe something off the counter but leave the gross paper towel on the counter instead of throwing it out. Also, if we have leftovers in the fridge he'll eat all of it and not leave any food for me, even when there's no other food in the house. I recently got really pissed because he ate all the capicollo my grandfather made and gave to me, there was enough for both of us.
I'm pretty sure most of the reason for him being like this is that he was a sheltered as a child, his mom always cleaned up after him and his family was pretty well off. I grew up in the opposite situation and I don't know what to do because when I confront him about it he feels super bad since he legitimately doesn't know what he does is annoying, then I feel bad for being mad at him.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend has no common sense about cleaning things because he never had to do chores growing up and eats all the food because he doesn't think about what I'll have to eat. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: What do I do when I empty my emergency fund due to an emergency and it's not enough?
POST: I'm 24 and was living pretty modestly with my biggest expense being rent when my job cut my hours last summer. It's a position where my schedule is too irregular (read: academic calendar) to pick up something else, so I dipped into my emergency fund AND savings to cover rent for a couple months until we started school again, but now am in a place where I moved back home, I'm paycheck to paycheck, and have no savings as a reserve. Just looking into what my options are or looking for possible strategies to build up that fund quickly in case something else happens.
TL;DR: | Job cut my hours, had to blow through savings/rainy day funds to cover expenses, now worried about if something else happens. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What happens to bullets when you fire them wildly in the air?
POST: Now, it's been a while since I've studied Physics or mechanics... But if you were to fire some celebratory rounds (for example, having just overthrown a dictator... or finding out that your first cousin isn't pregnant with your baby) do you not run the risk of being showered with bullets returning back towards the ground?
From a model point of view with no other forces beyond gravity affecting the bullet beyond the initial velocity, if the shot was fired directly upwards, gravity would decelerate the bullet to v=0, where it would then turn and drop, eventually landing where you are stood, with a velocity equal to which it was fired... Either this, or I'd settle for "they magically disappear"
TL;DR: | Surely shooting gunshots wildly into the air will mean they drop back to earth, spraying everyone around you like a Romans 12:19 drive-by. |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: Call my EX-GF? Apologize for saying something I said nasty to her 2 months? Should I Call or not?
POST: So my ex-g/f and I broke up around 2 months ago. Compatibility issues and such. I was staying at her place (it was a two bedroom type of deal with common space) rooms after we broke up for about a week and a half (I know terrible move) I found a place the next day. We broke up pretty clean both crying and all that. No hard feelings etc.
I was pretty quiet to her that week and didn't say much. I was looking for an apartment.
Now the week I was there She comes in my room and says she wants to be honest with me. Three days after we broke up she had been out several times and told me she had already been on two dates. I was kind of mad that she seemed like it was nothing that we dated for 5 months I didn't talk to her after she said that. Fast Forward to a week and a half in I am attempting to sleeping and hear noises coming from her room I assume her new guy is banging her. Seems disrespectful to me that I told her I'm looking for an apartment. i don't see her for a couple of days and I wanted to speak with her. So I did a BETA AS FUCK THING. I posted a note on her door The note basically says that she shouldn't touch my food, or anything. I have in the house and neither should her friends or new boyfriend. It was immature I admit. She sees the note in the morning and is furious.
Basically we have an argument and I call her a whore and basically trash some of her friends (she's said one her friends doesn't really have a spine to her boyfriend and I compared her to that) many times which felt amazing at the time, but now I realize is a bad judgement move (or was it?) She's about 450 miles away from me now and I have been thinking of calling her and apologizing for that situation. My question is would it be a good idea to call her and apologize the way I went about it? I haven't talked to her since that day.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend & I broke up 2 months ago. Had a fight. I feel immature because I called her a whore. Now I have the urge to call and apologize. SHOULD I? or Leave it Be? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21/F] know it's impossible with [26/M], need help with positive perspective/getting over.
POST: So about a month ago I (21/f) met this guy (26/m). We got on good quickly and started dating - despite the fact that in October I am moving from Europe to the US for 2 years.
We've talked about this, LDR is out of the picture, he doesn't want that kind of commitment. We're just using our last time together to have as much of a good time as we can, then we'll see what happens - possibly stay online friends, but definitly not 'be together'.
I know he's right - it wouldn't work out, and chances are it wouldn't have worked out in the long run if I had stayed here either.
So now I'm moving away in less than two weeks and I have this awful separation anxiety. He's been so good to me and I haven't felt like this for a long time. Rationally, I know this is all for the best and I'm going to get a new life over there and whatnot, but emotionally I'm devastated right now.
I need help on how to cope with this, how to reframe it so even my emotions can agree. It's really just an issue of getting over a crush I don't know all that well anyway, but I haven't felt like this since my teens so I really don't know any good ways to deal with it.
Love all of ya guys.
TL;DR: | Got a short time relationship/fling/crush before moving abroad. Aware it's not gonna work out. Need ideas on how to get over emotional devastation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by checking what the object in my shoe was... with my hand...
POST: I should preface this with where I live. I live in New Hampshire. There is nothing scary here. Nothing poisonous. I never have to check ANYTHING before tossing it on.
This morning I was in a rush out the door to go pick up my son, so I grabbed my shoe and slid my food in. At the end of the shoe my toe hit something squishy...
"The cat must have been playing with one of my sons socks or something and it ended up in my shoe." A typical occurrence when you have a cat and a 3 year old.
Not this time.
I reached in to grab whatever it was I had wedged into the toe of my shoe and immediately felt pain in my finger. Along with my finger jettisoning out of the shoe came a field mouse. Attached.
I killed the thing and cleaned up the bloody finger...
I guess had crammed my foot into the poor thing and it had nowhere to go. So when I reached into the shoe... Yeah.
So here's to hoping I don't have rabies or the bubonic plague.
TL;DR: | Reached into my shoe to take out a sock stuffed in the end by my cat. Was bitten by a mouse. He is now dead. RIP. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Can someone explain or analyze my "recurring" nightmare/dream?
POST: Over the past year I've had 3 dreams that have all ended in a very similar, rather unsettling fashion. I will detail each one below:
First Dream: "I was in my moms kitchen talking to a couple of friends about generic topics and it was all very normal and didnt feel much like a dream. After a while they both walked out and left me alone. After a few seconds I cast my gaze downward and saw a little boy crouched underneath my moms breakfast counter he had corpse-like skin that was fairly grey/blue. I was paralyzed with fear and automatically started screaming and warping/falling backwards until i woke up"
Second Dream: "I don't remember as much detail from this one, but I ended up standing on the landing at my moms house just outside her bedroom. She was downstairs with my sister and I needed to grab a pillow from her room. I walked in and I saw a fully grown woman crouched on the alcove space above her bed, again I became paralyzed with fear, screamed and did the whole warping/falling back thing"
The most recent one happened last night. It differed a bit from the other two but was very similar.
"I was in my house with my fiancee and our son was asleep in bed. My sister was also with us and went upstairs to check on him. She had been gone a while so we went up after her (the layout of our house was a bit different to what it actually is) When I got up there I said something to my fiancee that didnt make sense, and this would normally result in her saying DUUUHHHH, which 'she' did, but it wasnt her, it came from behind me, so i turned around and saw a girl behind me, for a few seconds I thought it was my sister, but when I looked at her face it was some random girl I have never seen before. Again I was paralyzed, screamed and fell back."
The dreams never have any sense of horror within them but as soon as I see these people who shouldn't be there I am filled with a HUGE sense of dread even though two of these people didn't talk, and the only one that did didn't exactly say anything bad.
TL;DR: | I keep having dreams where people appear where they shouldn't. I get paralyzed, scream and start falling until i wake up.. it's scary |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26/F] with my Love [24/M] finally a decent person to date after abusive situation?
POST: Hello. So I was in an abusive relationship [m/29] for almost 4 years. Out of the relationship I feel I walked away a much changed and enlightened person? Also I have a daughter now.
So I finally got the guts to leave, moved onto my moms couch for a few months. Ex tries to make everything as difficult as possible (delievering my things to my moms driveway at midnight in the rain... Where they would surely be stolen because he literally just put my stuff in the driveway.) won't watch our daughter to keep me from going to work. Continued to call me names and tell me what a PoS I am etc.
So I manage to go on some dates and sleep around a little.(I'm human and rebounding- Sue me) Then I met someone online, not gonna lie I was expecting it to be a strictly sexy situation but it was almost instant connection. It's crazy, so many shared interests, same sex preferences, same sense of humor and so much more. We just clicked. He feels the same way too and I feel weird all the time thinking "is this what relationships are supposed to be like? Fun!?" (Been officially dating about a month now.)
My problem lies in, I can't help but worry in the back of my mind that things are going to go to hell like with my ex. I seriously freak myself out thinking about it. How do I stop and fully move on? I've spoke to him about how I feel and how nervous I get when I start thinking about everything. He's very nice and supportive about it all. He's amazing with my daughter and I'm really hoping I've found someone worth being with.
But what if...
TL;DR: | Left abusive 4yr relationship, found new boyfriend after a while and thing seem too good to be true and it freaks me out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: After 12 years of friendship I have decided to end it.
POST: So I have been best friends with this girl since high school. She was the first person I met at a new school in a town I had just moved to. We hit it off and became friends and became inseparable.
We would discuss relationships and wingman each other and we built a great friendship on mutual trust and respect.
About 4 years ago I started to develop feelings for this girl. I told her how I felt and nothing ever came of it but we remained close friends. But now it has gotten to the point where I need to move on and the only way I think I can do that is by ending this friendship we have had for 12 years.
This is one of the hardest decisions I have ever made because despite my feelings she is still a great friend. I think its time for me to become emotionally available to other women and move on.
I am not sure if it is wise to throw away a friendship like this when I have so few close friends to begin with but I think it is necessary for me to move on and try and forget this girl.
TL;DR: | Oh god not another friendzone post, but I am actively trying to move on and better myself in the process and any advice or experiences you would like to share would be much appreciated. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I was denied constitutional rights by a principal what legal actions can i takeagainst him?
POST: I was debating wether i should post here or in trees, but my day friday started awesome. i bought a fat eighth with two beutiful nugs and put it in my book bag like your average highschooler. people started getting busted and inevitbly, after my dealer and several friends got busted, i did. This is where the question really comes into play, i was in his office and he said "i can smell it and there is no color in your face so hand it over." i said, like an intelegent american who knows his rights, i plead the fifth he then said i could either hand over the weed or he would call the school resource officer and have this made a legal issue, which i am pretty sure he can't do. i continued to practice my 5th amendment right and he threatend to cal the nurse for a full body cavity search. and then he began to call the school cop to make this a full possesion charge that would be on record if i ever wanted a job, so i gave up and handed him my beutiful babies (who i really miss by the way). now i am suspended and realized he stomped on alot of my rights what can i do?
TL;DR: | i got caught with pot and my pricipal violated my constitutional rights and threatened an illegal strip search can i fight him and hold him accountable for his actions? |
SUBREDDIT: r/college
TITLE: 26 y/o consumer banker with no degree - Is college worth it?
POST: Greetings all,
I am a 26 year-old consumer/retail banker with no degree. I've been in consumer banking for a little over a year, and I make about $40,000 a year in the Denver, Colorado area.
I'm considering attending an accredited online school through Colorado State University to eventually earn a bachelor's degree in Economics.
I feel a bit apprehensive about the idea of going back to school this late in the game. Do you think that employers will question my 8 year absence from school, even after I eventually earn this degree? My goal is to become a financial analyst with a small investment operation. (I understand that my chances are nonexistant for any of the NY giants, including Goldman Sachs and so on.)
The reason I'm considering online classes is because the government is not offering anything in terms of financial aid, aside from student loans of course. (Household income of $60,000 annually) Online classes seem to be the best way to maintain full-time employment while finishing my degree, unless there is an alternative that I am unaware of.
Any advice would be extremely helpful.
TL;DR: | Need better paying, more fulfilling job in finance. Is a degree going to be worth it for considering the cost and time commitment? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by having a girlfriend who set off my apartment building's fire alarms.
POST: So, this happened about twenty minutes ago:
I was sound asleep until the piercing klaxon of the fire alarm in my building woke me up (I sleep in my boxers, this is important for later). My girlfriend rushed into the bedroom and said it was her fault, as she was steaming her work shirt using the shower (by closing the door with the ventilation off and just running it as hot as possible for a while). However, when she opened the door to turn off the shower, the heat set off the fire alarm (which also happens to be very close to the bathroom door), which also sets off every alarm in the building as they are connected. There are about 80 units in my building.
She ran in to tell me she was sorry, that it was her fault, etc. I always like being on the safe side, just in case it was coincidental when she did that and there was a *real fire* -- so I threw on my bath robe (I didn't tie it, this is the fuck up) and we quickly evacuated the building. When we got outside, it felt a little breezy, for some reason. There were about 100 people (many of them women and children) outside including the firefighters and **ALL** of them were looking at me, some of them laughing. Turns out, the button flap on my boxers was open and my dong was hanging out. I covered up and ran inside about as fast as I ran outside.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend probably set off the fire alarm in my apartment building and because of that, many people (including women, children and my city's firefighters) saw my dong. Embarrassment ensued. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I (19) asked a girl (19) out twice now. Declined for good (I think) reasons. Should I try one more time in the hopes she would finally say yes?
POST: First time I asked her she declined politely saying that she just wasn't in the mood for men at the moment, and that she would have just been poor company.
From what I could gather, she may have been messed around with by someone else recently, so I let it go and gave her some time to get over it.
A few weeks later, I saw how she was feeling out of genuine interest and tried again. She was feeling much better and was glad to hear from me again, but she was busy that weekend traveling, and wouldn't be back for another week.
She recently got back however and despite being declined, I feel as if there is still a chance. She didn't outright say she wasn't interested, or that she didn't feel the same way, so should I give it one more shot in hopes that nothing gets in the way this time?
TL;DR: | I like this girl. Asked her out. She was in a bad state at the time and declined. Asked her out again recently. She was busy that weekend. Should I try one more time? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's the best option: community college or online degree (NOT UofP)?
POST: Hi Reddit,
I wanted to get some feedback on my education decision. If anyone out there works in HR or recruiting and can comment (or if someone here has gone down a similar path), that would be great.
I live in Michigan, and I do have a full-time job, but I want to go back to school. I'm 27 years old, and I have a bachelor's degree in Professional and Technical Writing with a Journalism/PR minor from a private university (brick and mortar - I went there). I should've chosen a different major, as I've learned over the last few years working that my degree is NOT what I want to do. I am very interested in doing database administration, but I'm not sure which way to go with it.
Basically, I'm finding that I have two options, based on money, location, and time, since I can't quit my job:
1) I can go to a local community college and get an associate degree in Computer Information Systems with a Systems Analysis or Software Engineering option. This will be the cheaper, quicker option, especially since my bachelor's coursework should cover the majority of the general ed requirements.
2) I can do an online Database Administration degree. I know University of Phoenix is very hated on Reddit, and I've seen some pretty good arguments to corroborate that sentiment. The three options I've stumbled on are [Western Governors University] [Rasmussen College] and [University of Maryland University College] However, I don't know anything about these places and don't know anyone with experience with them.
So, Reddit, would it be wiser for me to go the community college route and get an associate degree on top of my bachelor's, or to get a second bachelor's degree through an online university? I really appreciate any feedback!
TL;DR: | University of Phoenix is the Antichrist; are other online universities legit and worthwhile, or should I cut my losses and go back to community college? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend (15M)'s friend (15F) keeps sending me (17F) pictures she takes of him
POST: So my boyfriend has a friend who is in a few of his classes, and I've met her a few times, but I'm not a huge fan of her.
I don't dislike her simply because she is his friend, but because she cheated on my best friend (16F) twice. She is known for messing with relationships, and has admitted several times that she quite likes my boyfriend.
I don't mind that he is friends with her. I personally dislike her, but that is no reason for me to have him end a friendship. It just makes me nervous that he is close to someone known to screw with things for her own gain.
I have expressed my feelings about this to my boyfriend, including how she put my best friend through some really terrible things,but he claims that "It's in the past and we should just get over it. She's not that bad."
Within the past few months, I have received messages and Snapchats of him that she has sent me, and they are often photos of him that he is not aware about.
The most recent time, I brought it up with him later that day, and how it makes me uncomfortable that she is always talking pictures of him. He responded saying that he knows about some of the photos, and he doesn't mind that she is sending them.
It wouldn't bother me if it was anyone else, but the fact that this girl has done things that have had detrimental effects on people close to me makes me nervous.
Am I paranoid? I don't know how to get my point across that her doing this makes me uncomfortable.
TL;DR: | friend of my boyfriend who is known for causing trouble keeps sending me photos of him, and I don't know how to address the situation without seeming like overprotective and jealous. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: 29-year old in need of genuine life/love advice
POST: I have never asked Reddit a question, the answers always occured to me before posting. Even now, some of the answers occur to me about the question I am going to ask, but I would appreciate the input of the hive mind in this matter, nonetheless.
I love a woman, we grew up together. My life has been in a rut lately, living with her. We had been together for 11 years, no children, just work and play. I am very socially withdrawn, I dislike people in general and have had no urge to socialize, not even with family. I have goals, I knew I had to get my head straight, get a plan for myself (I didn't see it quite like this at the time). I decided to break up with her, citing petty BS (I know now). After 2 months of hearbreaking loneliness and insane solitude, I figured out what I wanted, and how to get there. Already on it. Unintended side effect- suddenly socially awesome as well. After my epiphany, my new perspective informed me that this woman is virtually perfect, especially for me. A missed opportunity perhaps, but as the man i am now i would make her my wife. I talked to her, it sounded promising, but nothing definite.
My dilemma: I start actually hanging out with friends, socializing, etc. Today I hang out with someone, we have some drinks, get tipsy, I end up sleeping with her. I am not technically still with my former woman, but I do still want to be with her. I made a mistake I never thought I actually COULD make.
This is not the man I want to be, I ask for your honest advice that I may try to mend my faults and proceed with integrity.
TL;DR: | 29, Broke up with woman of 11 yrs, realized need her, slept with another woman, don't want to be that guy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [27F] feel as though my relationship with my bf [28 M] is completely centered around our dog... not sure if overreacting.
POST: So, a week ago, my bf of seven years surprised me with a shelter puppy. I am a dogwalker/dogsitter who has been longing for their own dog but my bf (understandably) had concerns about getting a dog (it's a lot of work, as I know firsthand!) but decided finally that he felt ready to share the responsibility with me.
The pup is amazing and very well-behaved. However, a week has gone by and we are pretty much obsessed with this dog. We do nothing but talk about the dog, cuddle with the dog, and... don't have sex because the dog is usually with us on the couch or we're worried about what he's doing.
I know this seems like a dumb/small concern, but I am just a little worried. I can't help but be distracted by what the little guy is doing at all times (to try to see if he's chewing something, going to the bathroom somewhere inappropriate, etc.) and I think my bf is a bit mesmerized too.
Am I overreacting/do any first time pet owners have advice?
TL;DR: | New dog means we do nothing but talk about the dog and the dog disrupts our usual activities. Might be overreacting. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Does anyone have insights on a sleep schedule to increase number of lucid dreams while maintaining cognitive creativity and a high degree of flexibility in sleep times?
POST: I am considering a new sleep schedule. I have tried the uberman and dymaxion sleep scheadules with little luck and frankly am less excited about them because of the inflexibility in sleep times. Everyman seems like the next logical choice for my goals and I very well might try it. I would be tempted to do something slightly different though and would like reddits input.
Basically I would take as many naps as I damn well please but never let them extend longer than 30 minutes as to force my body to kick into REM sooner. I would take them whenever tired but always make sure I was fully awake again before dipping into the next nap. Hopefully I naturally would not need as much total sleep as my normal 8 hours, but cutting the sleeping hours is not the key aspect. Most importantly I want to be the same happy and creative person as always but have more lucid and otherwise dreams to play with.
Has anyone tried a similar sleep schedule? Would I get the long wave sleep that is needed according to those who are skeptical of the uberman schedule?
TL;DR: | Important: Dreams, creativity and day to day different sleep times. Not so Important: Total time sleeping, social obligations and being able to engage in copious amounts of drugs or alcohol. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (19M) Ex-GF(18F) Lied About Getting Pregnant
POST: So we started dating the summer of 2014, and broke up February of 2015. She texted me two days ago saying that she got pregnant from last time we had sex (beginning of February).
Along with this she said she had a miscarriage two days prior to texting me. She said she found the week we broke up.
I acknowledge that if this is true, I hold responsibility, and I do feel for her. But there are a few things that make me doubt her.
1. She has a history of being manipulative (Although definitely not to this extent).
2. A few days prior to this she found out that I started dating a new girl
3. When we did have sex (back in February) we used a condom for the whole thing except for the first minute. Along with this I never "finished". So although I know pregnancy is still possible it's a little suspicious.
4. She said she knew for over a month before TEXTING me about it.
I am not sure what to think about the situation. Part of me wants to confront her and the other part just wants me to let it be a keep her out of my life completely.
TL;DR: | dated for 7 months, last time we had sex was in February, we used a condom, broke up shortly after. Two days ago she says she was pregnant from then but had a miscarriage earlier in the week. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: something i seriously need to get off my chest.
POST: this is mostly built up anger at my ex(i think 17 now), okay so, basically our relationship went pretty good for about 6 months, until i caught her cheating on me with some guy she met on 4chan, that she had skype sex with but never met irl... okay sooo What The Fuck was i thinking when i came back the next day to get my things... and then decide to give you a second chance...Why in the living fuck did i set myself up like that... you have no idea what you did to me when YOU broke up with me 3 months later... not only did you completely shut me out, but you spread bullshit rumors about me to everyone..AND didnt have the godamn common courtesy to give me my football jersey back when i asked.... atleast i wasnt the one distributing child porn over skype.. i wouldnt fucking doubt it if youre still doign that shit. have fun with your life cuntface, im glad im better off without you :)
OH i can thank you for one thing though... practice...
4 months after all that im now with the most amazing girl ive ever met,(19m+18f)
have fun being alone and used as a sex object for horny guys online ;)
sorry about this, i seriously needed to vent even though its been quite some time
TL;DR: | cunt of an ex dropped me like the 9 months we had together meant nothing, and the fact i gave her a second chance to devastate me really makes me pissed at myself. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Advice in regards to my drunkard of a brother?
POST: I don't really know how exactly to word this or what to even ask... The short background is that my brother (21) and myself (19) both still live with our parents while we are going to college. He has suffered with depression and cutting himself and those sorts of things when he was younger. In more recent years he had to drop out of his freshman year of college and move back home because of how much he was drinking. He now likes to get so drunk that he will: start fights at parties, call me to drive him home and then when i get there ask how i knew to show up (he forgot he called in the 20 minutes it took me to get there), get home and break things because he is so drunk he knocks things off the walls, piss on the carpeted floor because he is so drunk he doesn't realize, argue with my mother who is basically paying for everything he needs like room and board and school and his car/gas etc, etc. He has been arrested multiple times for being drunk in public, starting fights, driving drunk, and possession.
I guess where i would want advice is that my mom tries to talk to him and he won't admit that it is a problem or that it affects anyone else. She wants me to talk to him about it but i don't know what to say/do. How can i make him realize that getting to this point of drunkenness where he can't think straight is not the only/best option? Also if anyone has any experience being the drunk person in a situation similar to this that would be helpful. And he has tried AA and Counseling but did not like it and started to skip meetings.
Thank you for reading and any advice.
TL;DR: | Brother gets extremely drunk and wont listen to logic even when sober. What can i do to try and show him this isn't necessary and is not good for him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21M] am in an open relationship with a [19F] girl unwanted be exclusive with.
POST: EDIT: Sorry! The title should read "I [21M] am in an open relationship with a [19F] who I want to be exclusive with." Autocorrect on my phone changed it and I did not catch it.
So this open relationship began in August the beginning of the fall 2014 semester. We have both had or at least what I believe a great time with each other.
Our first date together was wonderful, full of laughter and enjoyment. However, on that date, specifically towards the end, she told me she just broke up with her ex boyfriend of two years, two weeks prior to our date. The reason: because she wanted to have fun and not be in a commitment.
This wasn't exactly what I wanted but I was okay with it. So we continued our relationship openly, without exclusivity. However, her ex is apparently also her best friend and she even told me they've been on and off for a while. Being in an open relationship, I decided I guess I was okay with this too.
Well winter break rolls around, she goes back to her home town and I go back to mine. With school coming back up we both are going to want to see each other, but I've been having second thoughts. It's been apparent she's been seeing her ex over break. I'm not really sure where they stand, but I'm not sure I'm okay with this kind of relationship anymore. It was pretty clear I was/am a rebound, but in all honesty I really like this girl. Not really sure where to move on from here as this isn't what I want anymore.
I'm ecstatic to see her again and I'm sure it will be great but I'm thinking maybe it's time to move on. How am I supposed to compete against her ex whom is also her best friend...
TL;DR: | Began an open relationship, caught feelings, she's on and off with her ex, not sure where to move on from here. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Do I (25/m) tell her (21/f) that I'm actually an overly attached bf?
POST: I love being with my girlfriend (6 months together). If I could I'd spent all my time with her (besides going out with a couple of my old friends once a month or when I'm busy with my hobbies). I want to focus my life around her. I want to be around her 24/7.
I try to hold back, because in my previous relationship it was very suffocating for my ex to be around me all the time. I was too touchy, too present. So I am basically hiding the true me from her because I don't want to ruin this relationship the same way.
I just want to live a life primarily with her: Going out (dinner, movies, zoo etc.), travelling around the world, playing games and what not at home. I want to 'live' in a bubble with her. Sure, she can do her own things. I don't care, I will never actually claim her like that.
TL;DR: | Do I tell my girlfriend that I'm the overly attached boyfriend? Or do I try to hide it from her because it's more healthy to give each other some space? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: It feels like I mean nothing to her anymore.
POST: 5 month relationship, and it's going down the drain. A few things happened where both of us were hurt, and now it seems like she doesn't want to even attempt to go back to the way we were. She doesn't want to break up, but I can't take being a shell of what we once were. We used to talk all day, couldn't wait to see each other. Now I'm lucky if I get a 5 word text every 3 hours. If that. We are in an LDR, but this still belongs here.
I try my hardest not to be bothered by this situation... but it's eating away at me. And she won't even talk about it. I am apparently the love of her life, but it feels like I'm being deceived, or cheated on, with how distant she has become. I am in love with this woman... And I have never felt more pain in my life that I have now. It's almost as if my heart is now half expecting it, from texts being full on ignored for hours (if not altogether), to being her best friend, and now it's like I am simply an acquaintance from work or something. I was going to marry this woman. Now I am so unsure about how she feels, or what's going on, that I feel the need to end this. She won't even talk to me about what she's thinking anymore. She used to when we were good. I miss the woman that I love, so fucking much. It is seriously depressing...
Please, if you guys could offer some advice, or give me some points to think about to help me make a decision... I would really appreciate it.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend has become entirely distant but still says she is in love with me. I don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [18F] boyfriend's [17M] female best friends makes excuses not to see him.
POST: I've been with my boyfriend for a year and throughout that time, his female best friend always asks for them to meet up. However, every single time they arrange to meet up, she always has an excuse and they don't go out. I must add that she's liked him in the past before and I have a feeling she still has feelings for him now. She says she loves him a lot too, but in a friendly way.
I spoke to my boyfriend and he said she always has an excuse and it's made me wonder why because it's really odd to me. Why do you think she talks to him loads, arranges to meet up, but then has some excuse for not going? My boyfriend even says that he promised her that he'd see her so it's weird how it appears she makes him promise, but then she has an excuse not to see him.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend's female best friends always has an excuse for not seeing him but always asks him to go out? She's been doing this for a year now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: More than Friends... with a Friends Ex?
POST: I'm a 21 Male. Friend is a 21 Female
She went abroad last semester; however we have been keeping up periodically (not that often) with e-mail, fb, and now that shes back in the US with texting.
Basically I've been friends with this girl since, the very first day of college, freshman year. Now I'm a senior and we're returning to school in a little more than a week and I need some advice, since I have two problems.
My first problem is she is sending mixed signals and I don't know if I'm interpreting them wrong, because I have feelings for her. For example, she had been "flirting" with me for most of Junior year, but I thought maybe we we were just doing it for fun. While abroad she started doing stuff like calling me boo (online), liking and commenting on my photos (never did that before, especially saying stuff like "What a Looker".. etc) and stupid stuff like that. We text occasionally right now, she usually initiates because well I'm pretty bad with keeping up with people.
The other day she asked "Tell me, any ladies this summer?" and I said not really. But I mentioned I was interested in a random girl just to look like I was looking around and suddenly she won't stop bothering me about the girl until I gave her a name. Whenever I asked her about her personal life, she always replies sarcastically like, "Oh yeah, you know me!" (she doesn't party/hook-up/date at all, unlike me (during the school year))
My second problem is that my good friend dated her sophomore year for about 2 months and he is still a little sensitive about it even after a 1+ year. During that time I was going out partying and I in fact helped get them together, and tried to help them through the rough patch... We've talked about her before with other guys, but I feel like if I dated her he could go one of two ways, happy or totally ballistic.
Soooo, I know this isn't much to go on, but do you think she likes me? And how do I handle my friend?
TL;DR: | Haven't seen a good female friend in a long time (study abroad), sending me mixed signals. She dated my other friend 1+ year ago, he's still sensitive about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] 1 year, Is it selfish to break up over making much more money?
POST: I've been dating this girl for 1 year as of last week. It's been a fun year, we get along quite well and have had a lot of fun together. She recently brought up moving in together and although I'm sure it would be fun. Realizing the logistics of it have really made me question this relationship.
I've always been someone who is careful with money. I have a six digit bank balance and make ~$45 an hour. I went to college and got a really awesome job. I live by myself.
My girlfriend makes ~$10 an hour, has no plans of going to college and works at a fast food establishment. After paying for gas, insurance, bills etc she barely has any money left for extra spending. She currently lives with her parents.
My problem is if we move in together I'd basically still be paying the exact same amount for rent I am now. She said she would try to pay for groceries but I highly doubt she'll always be able to pay. This troubles me.
I like this girl a lot, she gets a long really well with my family but this just is bothering me. I don't think she is in this for a "meal ticket" but I don't want to be with someone who I have to support so much financially. I know that we are "young" but I also feel like this is something I should address as soon as possible in order to not waste anyone else's time.
I've never really broken up with someone before and feel like a jerk for even considering this. Is this a valid reason to do so? How do I go about explaining that I like her a lot but I don't think we can continue? How do you redditors deal with dating people that have a different income than you?
Thanks,
TL;DR: | I make a lot more money than my girlfriend, that likely isn't going to change. It kind of bugs me. Is this a reason to break up with someone? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's the most unexplainable/strangest thing that's happened to you?
POST: Today I sat down at the computer to do actually do an assignment that's due tomorrow (not the strange thing). There were five parts to it and I had finished the first, so I decided to take a break. I came back a few hours later, read the second part of the assignment and finished that. Proud of how much I had gotten done, I decided to keep working. But there was a problem. The assignment paper with the questions written on it was gone. It had literally been on the desk right next to me. I've now torn apart my house looking for it, although I don't even remember getting up while working on the second part of the assignment and no one else had been in the room. I even had other people help me look for it. I have no clue where it could be. So instead of trying to figure that out, I'm on reddit.
TL;DR: | I lost a somewhat important paper without getting up from my desk. My mind is fucked as to where it could be, and I've decided this is the strangest thing that's happened to me (at least recently). |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU and most likely ruined my friendship with one of my best friends by calling him friendless
POST: I blame shark week. And myself.
First off, I get supremely hurt by random little jibes. Things like playing hide and seek with people that will leave you in some musty closet. I still have some major trust issues from a difficult part of my childhood.
Anyways, in this case, the teasing went overboard, and I was almost in tears. My friends just weren't taking the hint. Finally they stopped, but a while later my blood was still boiling, I was pissed (Again, I blame shark week for my overreactivity). Somewhere in the conversation, he mentioned (jokingly) that people might avoid our group because of a weirdo like himself following them around. I replied "Yeah, that's why you have no friends."
And I said something like that AGAIN later. I could tell it hit him hard. Many lengthy apology texts later, with no reply, I am beginning to think our friendship is ruined. All because of my bitchy vengefulness. He looks more depressed than I have ever seen him and I know I really crossed the line. I don't know WTF is wrong with me. I love him like a brother and reddit, boy did I fuck up this time...
TL;DR: | Best friend ticked me off and I said he had no friends in retaliation. Ruined a friendship, the trip I was on with my friends, and depressed him more than I knew was possible. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (19F) am trying to leave my boyfriend (19m) but am failing miserably
POST: I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years but recently have realised that I'm not really in love with him anymore. I cheated a few weeks ago which was really horrible of me I know, but I've taken this as a clear sign that I definitely shouldn't be in this relationship anymore.
However, when I try to end it my boyfriend just refuses to accept that it could possibly be over & persuades me to stay. I have literally told him to his face that I no longer love him & want to be single but he just won't accept this. It's got to the point now where I'm just lying to him to keep him happy, and I know that's pointless & helping no one but I feel trapped. I haven't told him I cheated & don't intend to.
So my question is how can I break up with him in a way that he'll understand (without being really horrible)?
And also should I do it before valentines day, leaving him really sad & lonely, or after valentines, meaning he would waste a lot of money on a gift for me when I'm leaving him?
TL;DR: | trying to leave but he won't accept it, how can I break up in a gentle way that he will accept? And is breaking up worse before or after Valentines? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [ 19 f] with my boyfriend [19 M] "what sucks about having a girlfriend is she is just a friend when she's on her period"
POST: Background: I was in an abusive relationship for 4 years before I started dating my current boyfriend. I failed to ignore the red flags being a dumb and naive girl. So it's been about a 1 1/2 years since I broke up with my abusive ex and have started dating my current boyfriend. He has treated me so great, better then anyone else has but there has been a few things that have happened since we started dating.
He said the above quote and then said "Well I don't mean you but just in general." Now I know were friends as well as bf/gf but doesn't isn't love something more then just friendship?
Other things have happened that have made me think. Like he told me he loved me before we even started dating and has said since very early on that he want to marry me one day. Also he talks about one of his ex girlfriends quite often. At least once every time we hang out. Most of it is about how it made him mad that she pretty much abandoned him after he was shot at age 17 and almost died. Sometimes it's just about memories he has of her. I also want to say he isn't the type to be overly emotional or seem abusive in anyway. He doesn't get jealous either.
We have been together for about 6 months. I know hes a good guy I just don't want the past repeating it's self if that makes sense.
TL;DR: | I'm in a new relationship and don't want to end up in another bad relationship. I don't know if I'm being paranoid or if there really is something bad going on. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: We've only been married for 2 months (26M, 27F) and my father-in-law asked to move in with us. Should we do it?
POST: *
TL;DR: | FIL with history of gambling issues and money problems wants to move in with us only after 2 months of us getting married. I am working, my wife is currently unemployed. Torn on whether or not we should take him in. |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: 21/M/single - Regret after a one night stand... I think I let something big just walk out of my door
POST: I have recently had a one night thing with a girl. I was drunk/she was drunk and I met her on the night.
She came back to mine and stayed over. In the morning I was dying to ask for her full name or her number but she seemed really disinterested so I didn't and just let her leave. I basically wimped out..
Since then whenever I think of her I get a sinking feeling like I've really messed up and missed a chance at something and I don't know why. I don't know her. I think I could probably find her since the club we were in take a lot of photos and put them on Facebook.
Would it be weird to you ladies if a guy you had a one night stand with hunted you down via Facebook to ask to get your number since they were too scared to ask in the first place and if not then how can I go about it?
TL;DR: | slept with a girl, too scared to get her details in the morning. Massively regret it and want to find her. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: Tifu by trying to be more fit
POST: So today I went for a run because I've been worried about my body. All I do is watch anime and play my
TL;DR: | tried being healthy by going for a run before work and ended up coming home all sweaty to find that my water was off . |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26 M] overheared a violent confrontation between my neightbors [20s-30s F/F] and I don't know if I should do something
POST: I live in a small apartment building with four units, and I just got a couple new neighbors who share a couple walls with me. My best guess from talking to them once is that they're both female, age 20-30, and in a committed relationship with one another. They seem nice - they moved in about a month ago, and I introduced myself a couple weeks back.
Tonight I heard a violent crash that sounded like it came from behind the apartment, so I stopped what I was going to go look out my back window. I didn't see anything but I did hear a lot of yelling and crying coming from my neighbors kitchen (a room that shares a wall with my place).
Normally I'm not super interested in what people do in their homes but I heard some things that I found concerning - things like "let go of me," "you're hurting me" "I want to leave", and so on. I also heard some exchanged accusations of who the aggressor was, and one accusation of the use of a knife in the confrontation.
I can't tell who is who through the walls, but I'm concerned that
1. There is abuse going on, possiblt to a level that could be dangerous
2. One party seems to be the agressor, but it also seems that threats are being made to create fals allegations.
I have never been in this situation before, and maybe I'm being too nosey, but I don't know at one point I should do something.
Things have calmed down now, but should I call the police or something if this continues? It's the first time I've ever heard anything going on over there, so I don't know if I'm overreacting. I don't even really know them.
TL;DR: | Overhear new neighbors getting violent with each other, not sure at what point I need to call police or let someone else know. I've only met them once and I don't really know anything about the situation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [late 20s/f] deal with dating now that I know what cold sores really are?
POST: So when I was a baby a female relative who had a cold sore kissed me and spread the virus to me. As I was growing up whenever I got a cold sore,I would be sure to never touch it or share utensils, toothpaste, straws, lipstick, or kiss anyone because I was told it was contagious. They always came when I got really sick and I thought everyone got them when they had a fever. Adults around me always called them cold sores or fever blisters rather than a part of the herpes virus. I searched wikipedia a few weeks ago about cold sores and found out that way and freaked out. . I exercise, drink tons of water, etc which helps the duration of outbreaks. I haven't gotten a visible cold sore in about 7-8 years and thought through some implausible miracle that I didn't have HSV. I just got done blood work done (which I was told can find the antibodies that the body creates to try and fight the virus). I came back positive for hsv 1 and my doctor said that spreading the virus when a blister isn't active is very very uncommon. Herpes has such a terrible connotation and I don't know how to deal with the fact that I have this incurable virus and never engaged in sexual activity at the time to get that. My doctor said something like 60% of the world population has hsv1, with or without symptoms. I just feel so dirty and like my future relationships are going to be doomed. How do I even proceed with dating now without having this horrible label tied to me? After the diagnosis I've been crying, feeling like I'll never be loved, while also trying to figure out how to talk to future sex partners.
TL;DR: | wikipedia's cold sores and I'm trying to figure out how to mentally get over this label I now have and how to talk to figure partners. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Marijuana and Kids
POST: So, I have a baby. With the birth of a new family member, some pretty gnarly Post partum depression came too. I currently live in a state where recreational use is still illegal (IL). When my kid is napping and my husband is at work, I like to visit with my friend mary jane on my screened in back deck. Not only is it relaxing and fun, it's been really, really effective at treating my PPD. Ive got neighbors though, and I'm sure they know that I smoke because of the smell/frequency. I'm pretty sure they also know we have a kid. If one of them decided to call the cops one day because OMG DRUGS AND KIDS would my life be ruined?
I know that I have the right to refuse a search if they come knocking, but knocking + dogs = barking, and barking and sleeping babies don't mix. If they suspected drug use and then heard my kid crying when I answered the door, would that be "probable cause" to enter my residence? If they saw my pipes out on the deck, would they arrest me right then? What would happen to my kid?
TL;DR: | are my visits with mary jane putting me at a higher risk of arrest and/or putting me at risk of losing my baby? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I (M/24) tell my new girlfriend (F/24) about an addiction to porn I used to have that I'm still recovering from?
POST: Or really, at what point should I tell her, because even though I'm scared to death of sharing this I think it's something we are gonna need to discuss. I've had several girlfriends and one previous long term relationship, but I struggled with intimacy mainly due to what I learned was a serious porn addiction.
I'm not a virgin technically, but I've never orgasmed during sex and my porn addiction caused me to be dis-interested in my otherwise awesome relationship and lose a great girl. I still have a lot of inexperience with actual sex and physical intimacy, even though I've had partners.
I finally realized I had a problem with porn addiction in April and joined the sub-reddit NoFap. I've had my ups and downs, but I've only PMO'd (Porn - Masturbation - Orgasm) about 5 times in the last 2 months which is the biggest step in my progress. However, it's been said it takes about 90 days of abstaining for your brain to "reset" the addiction and I'm still very much trying to recover.
The new woman I'm seeing is every bit as amazing as my last girlfriend, if not more so, and we've already been comfortable enough to share a lot of personal things with each other, but this the one thing I haven't brought up. We've basically only got to second base so far, but I know before we get intimate I'm going to have to tell her about my inexperience and why that is. I don't want to make the same mistake with her as I did the last one, as I want us to have a fullfilling romantic and sexual relationship.
I'm very nervous about bringing up this dark side of my life to her, even though we've grown so close so fast. I've made a lot of progress since April, but it is something I still struggle with and I'm still fighting to fully recover from. How should I break it to her? Will she understand? I care about her a lot and I'm really scared :/
TL;DR: | Scared to tell new girlfriend about my battle with porn addiction; want to be open with her so we can achieve intimacy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Need help with highschool drama
POST: This is your everyday relationship drama. I(16M) like a (17F)senior and she is quite popular. We are friends but i dont see any hints of being in the friendzone. Never specifically said you are my best friend or anything. Ive helped her finish a project in the morning that she needed to get finished and she hugged me and said i love you. Got her a new water even when she said not too because i felt bad since hers got ruined by me (long story); again another "i love you" but no "you are such a good friend."
One day i was wearing a ring to show up like a poet for an english presentation. She said we are married and now i wear it like i am. The next day she asked me where is it and i said in my backpack bevause we were in gym class. On the bus to a concert for orchestra, she shoved icing in my ear (she was eating cake) and told everyone around that we were married. Today i complimented her, she said thanks, and tried to have a convo. I asked to go eat dinner with a bunch of friends which she said yea sure however her mom was annoying so she wasnt sure. Later i overhear her friend ask if she is doing anything and she says "yes,no". So either her mom said no or she wanted to be with her other friends ( i dont blame her, my group was kinda boring anyway)
I see her everyday and smile and wave and she does too. Sometimes she will pet my hair if im sitting down and she comes near me but her friend also does that whom im really close too as well.
should i be a man and just say something along these lines "hey i like you, do you think we can try hanging out more often?"
TL;DR: | should i be blunt to a girl that i like her. I dont see anyway friendzone signals but i maybe wrong. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by inadvertedly offending a mourning friend.
POST: I was hanging out with a friend of mine, John, while we met another one, Anette. Anette asked me how my mom is doing and I replied as I usually do, by saying "she's alive" while maintaining strong eye contact and smiling lightly at her for a couple of seconds in total silence. I continued the conversation for a while longer. However, I was somewhat surprised that Anette seemed to be a bit disconcerted and John got completely red on his face. As soon as Anette left, he burst into laugh.
John knew that Anette mother had died recently and I even attended her funeral last week and gave her my condolences. I just made absolutely no connection between that event and my usual, calm, "my mom is alive" reply.
In all honestly, the story happened 7+ years ago. I just never apologized and I feel bad about that to this day.
TL;DR: | told a daughter mourning recent death of her mother that my mother for a change is alive and owned it due to cluelessness. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [20/m] Probably the usual friend-zone issues but I could really use some help. I hope this is in the right sub.
POST: This is the last place I wanted to go with this, not because I think that people here couldn't give good advice but because I am not the kind of person to ask for help, I think part of it is that I really would like to talk about this but I have no where else to turn. I am sure you have read a million posts like this and will say I am an idiot, but I could care less, if you don't like it then down vote, anyway..
Here is my situation: I am a 20 year old college student from a rural town going to college in a big city. I have always had a really good group of friends, and I have always had a crush on one of my friends (She is actually my best Friends sister, but I'll get to that later.) Anyway this girl, is amazing, she is smart, athletic, funny, caring, and the nicest person you'd ever meet, and I promise I am not just saying that because of how I feel. So she is awesome, and over the last two years we have gotten extremely close, the problem had always been that she has had a boyfriend. The boyfriend turned out to be a cheating asshole and now she is single. Which I have been ecstatic about, but that obviously doesn't automatically bring us together. At the time of her last relationship while we were getting close we got into this weird friendship where it seemed like we wanted to date each other but never did. We have never really talked about our feelings for each other outside of friendship and honestly I am terrified of bringing it up.
So basically my question is what should I do? I don't want to ruin this friendship, but I don't think I can deal with just being friends, eventually being the girls shoulder to cry on becomes too much. In addition I don't want to screw up and become a rebound after her last long term relationship. Honestly I may be fooling myself, and she may see me as nothing but a friend and always has, I just don't know. Her brother, my best friend, says that I am being a pussy and that if it wasn't for the other guy we would have already been together.
TL;DR: | I've got a Girl Best Friend, I am in love with her, she recently broke up with her long term boyfriend, what should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By putting the battery in my car the wrong way.
POST: So I got off of a 12 hour shift at work my car has been having troubles because the battery I had in it was old and worn. So i go to autozone and get a new one I was rushing to the fact I needed to be someone early. Take about 3 minutes to change a car battery. Well I let my OCD kick in and reversed the battery because the post were different on this battery and I turned it around, I noticed sparks come off as I did this and thought "man that is weird never seen that before" so I get in the car and try to start it. I then notice no light no head lights and the car wont turn over. I go in autozone and say the battery won't start the car but the old one will. Guy goes out and looks at it and says "uhh its reversed". "FUCKKKKKK MEEEEE" is what i said. panic set in as I took off the connections. I put it in the right way this time double checked and everything. Go to start the car same shit. I called up my mech(25yrs of exp) friend and he says "well...For sure some fuses broke check those ooorr you could have just fucked your car" he lists off stuff that could have broke. Fuel pump, alternator etc. etc... So I go searching for broken fuses. nope nope nope here is one 15amp on nope nope i then break a 10amp and a 5amp fuse while trying to look at them... ok replaced all the fuses. Bam the car starts. But wait there is no dash board lights or headlights, I call him and he says "did you check the big fuses?" I say "what big fuses?" He looks up my car and tells me about this little box in the engine compartment and I go looking for it after 5 minutes I found the little bastard and sure enough the alternator 100amp fuse is trashed. fix that and boom car works again after 2 hours of panic. Then a old man walks out and says "I knew that is what happened I have 45 years of doing this then laughs and walks away" in my head I was like you couldn't have told me that sooner huh. He wanted me to do it on my own I guess.
TL;DR: | Rushing to get someone put battery in wrong made a 3 minute job in a living nightmare for 2 hours. Got laughed at by a old man that knew what was broken and didn't say. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it wrong for my [21/F] acquaintance to whom I introduced my boyfriend of two years [22/M] to initiate and pursue a friendship with him?
POST: I recently introduced my boyfriend of two years to a single acquaintance of mine. I am friendly with this woman, but not so friendly that we correspond outside of social events or would hang out alone.
My acquaintance and my boyfriend really hit it off. After a couple of encounters, I realised they had exchanged numbers (but haven't used them as far as I am aware).
Soon after, my acquaintance asked to talk to my boyfriend while I was on the phone to him.
Very recently at a party, she asked him to go running with her (as they are both enthusiasts). When she noticed I was listening she invited me, but as an afterthought, and knowing full well I'm not a runner. No concrete plans eventuated.
On the one hand, I don't own either of them and I shouldn't stop my boyfriend making new friends. On the other hand, I can't help feeling like my acquaintance is overstepping some unwritten boundaries. Am I crazy?
TL;DR: | Introduced female acquaintance to my boyfriend. I feel like she is intently pursuing a friendship with him. Is this wrong of her, or am I overly jealous? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] of four months, got blackout drunk
POST: We went out, but with separate friend groups.
I drank way too much with my friends. It didn't hit me until I was leaving the club. When I got out the door I started feeling woozy. Somehow I made it home and my friend locked me inside my place as they left to drop others off. Basically I was beyond a mess and I'll spare Reddit the details. No I didn't barf everywhere. It was actually worse than barfing.
My buddies decided to call my girlfriend and have her take care of me through the night. She did. She basically became a mom of a two month old that night while in her going out clothes. I'm sure she saw things she wish she could unsee. I know I need to do something to make up for it. Plus she knows that people in the group I went with have cheated before in the club, and actually at the same annual event we went to as well. I didn't cheat, however. I actually saw one of my girlfriend's friends at the venue I went to and we said hi. And I was not blackout drunk in the club, it was after when the alcohol hit.
TL;DR: | girlfriend cleaned me up after I got schwasted. How can I make it up to her and show her that I'm all hers? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining
TITLE: Looking for easy activities to engage a herding dog
POST: About 4 months ago, we adopted an ACD mix. She's almost two years old; I'd describe her as medium-high energy, but not hyperactive. We keep her just exercised enough that she's not annoying, but she's an absolutely wonderful dog and companion when she's truly *tired.*
Her typical daily activities include a couple 30 minute walks, playtime in the backyard, mental games, training, and dog park on the weekends. When we go to the dog park, her absolute favorite thing to do is try to convince some other dogs to play chase. She'll pretend to fetch balls or toys if that will engage another dog, but really she just wants to run in a circle, whether she is chasing or being chased.
There have been a couple of times that we've gone to the dog park during off-hours, so it's just been her and another friendly dog. When she has the open space, she really goes into "herding" mode with her body crouched, stalking, and even the "stare," before chasing after the dog (it's totally friendly, they play bow at the beginning, and there's a lot of breaks and trades). This is when she's at her absolute happiest. She could do this for hours, and it exhausts her.
Are there any activities that we can try at home to fulfill her herding instinct? We play fetch/tug with balls and ropes, and she'll oblige, but she seems to get bored of them really quickly. She seems less interested in retrieving and more interested in chasing.
A couple limitations:
*We live in the surburbs, so there aren't a lot of opportunities for practice with livestock
*Our backyard is medium-sized, but not large enough that she can run at full breakaway speed
*We've looked into agility and flyball, but her obedience isn't solid enough for off-leash commands.
-We're also limiting active play with humans, since she can get mouthy/bitey when she's excited
TL;DR: | 2 y/o cattle dog doesn't have any cattle to herd. What are some easy ways to put her to work? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22M] have just gone through a break up with ex-gf [22F]. Main reason for break up has changed. What now?
POST: Me and my GF of almost 3 years broke it off 10 days ago. The reason for the break up was that our short term long distance relationship suddenly became a long term LDR because of changes in her education plans.
We studied the same subject when we got together, but I dropped out and went to a different uni for a year. She dropped out too (at the same time), but went to a different university than me. My plan was to take one year at my current uni and then continue at hers next semester, but some time ago, she started talking about going back to what we both studied to begin with, which would mean 4 years of LDR. That was not something I would want, and I told her this in pretty clear terms, and asked her to tell me when she figured out what she was going to do next semester.
Then, ~two weeks ago she told me that she was moving back to uni #1. We parted ways on good terms, and hoped that our paths would cross again.
Yesterday she sendt me a text saying that changes in the course plan made her want to stay at her current uni. This would mean that we are going to be at the same uni next semester.
The thing is, she sees it as a given that we are now back together. I really love this girl, but all this back and forth has made me confused and unsure. She "abandoned" the plan we had when she told me that she was going back to uni #1, when I have decided to continue my education at uni #2, mainly because of her.
I think i have come further than her in processing our break up, and it's hard for me to just pick it up where we left off. I don't think the reality of us not being together had dawned on her yet.
I'm afraid to be happy, because of the chance that she might change her mind again.
Has anyone been through something akin to this?
Am I right to need some time to think about this?
TL;DR: | short term LDR went long term LDR went break up. Not long term LDR any more, what now?* |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How did you first realize that maybe it isn't everyone else, it might be you?
POST: I have a family member who had been very self-centered for the past few years. She can be pleasant and friendly but she goes through periods of turmoil (often centered around boyfriends and relationships) where she will fuck anyone over to get what she wants. If you don't help her get what she wants, she'll hate you. Just in the past year she has been in "I hate you" mode with just about everyone in her life including friends and family. She can't keep boyfriends and many of her friends have stopped talking to her. Some of her behavior includes stealing money, borrowing items (often without permission) and returning them in dirty or broken condition (if at all), bitching at people for not giving her money when she's broke, stealing boyfriends from friends, etc. She firmly believes she doesn't do anything wrong and basically that she's entitled to act this way and everyone is just being mean to her. If you bring up the fact that she's basically not caring about others, she storms off and you enter the "I hate you" group until she needs something again. So my question is, have any of you been in a similar situation where you may have been acting inappropriately and something made you realize that maybe it was you, not everyone else?
TL;DR: | Family member is being a bitch, thinks everyone else has the problem. Any advice on how to make her see she's the one with the problem? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (f/27) sister (f/24) is playing house with a man (m/37) 13 years older than her. He knocked her up and they want to keep it
POST: All of this is just fucked up beyond words so here we go:
They've been together for 4 years, living together for about 3 I think. No one in my family likes this man, except her, and she seems to like him more than enough for all of us. He is arrogant and probably more than a little bit sexist. They met on some dating website I guess and she totally fell for him. She moved in a year later and since then she has been playing the submissive housewife. She hasn't had a job since they've been together; he treats her like a maid, cooking, cleaning, waiting on him, etc.
I think everyone was hoping that she would, I don't know, get over it at some point but it hasn't happened. She is madly in love with this prick. He buys her off. When she isn't the little kitty at his feet lapping up her milk she is off spending his money. Spa treatments, peticures, etc. She drives a mercedes for Christ's sake. Then she comes around and sprinkles his money on family member's kids over the holidays and brags about the charity work they do. They constantly invite family/friends out for dinner and cover the tab just because they can. She has become more than a little arrogant herself
Ok sorry, back on topic: They invited the whole family over for a party last past weekend and announced she was pregnant. I almost blurted 'when is the abortion' but they BOTH want to keep it. They were both glowing. The only reason I could see for this man to want to keep a baby is to tie my sister up with him without marriage. It certainly puts an end to everyone's hopes that she would snap out of it.
I just wish there some way to explain to her and get it through her empty mind that this relationship is fucked up. She is living in fairy tale land in a life that she didn't earn and isn't hers to have.
TL;DR: | sister and bf of 4 years are having a baby, tying her down with him. I would to know if there is something, ANYTHING I can do or say to get her to realize how Fubar this is. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [20m] I met a girl [19f] on a dating site who's almost a perfect match, but she just wants a hookup right now where as I am more inclined to build an actual relationship. Advice?
POST: I've been speaking with a girl on a dating site recently, and in the beginning we simply had talked about our interests and the like and found out we were pretty much carbon copies of each other. I'm really into her.
Problem was, at one point she just completely dropped off the face of the earth for a few months, not even going on the site at all. In a way, I had sorta forgotten about her. Had gone on dates with a few other girls who were nice but just didn't click. Then, two days ago out of the blue, she asked me if I wanted to chat again, which we've been doing. And then today, after asking if she was ready to go out, she said she's only really into hooking up right now, and then possibly seeing how it works out afterwards, possibly taking a relationship further.
I myself am the kinda guy that just wants a long term relationship, and she seems like a great girl. Fact of the matter is that I'm now unsure of what I want. I've never had a "hookup" before and to be honest, I'm unsure of what to do.
My cock says yes, my brain says is unsure, and my heart is somewhere in the middle of the two.
Not even sure if this is the right sub, but any advice as to what I should do?
TL;DR: | Asked for a hookup on a dating sight (which I haven't done before) and need advice about what to do as I'd rather date her right now that anything. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Lady up the street likes to do U-turns in my yard when she thinks we aren't looking, what should I do?
POST: So the other day I was sitting in my living room on my laptop and I happen to see lights outside my living room window. Well my living room window faces a road that is parallel to it so I went outside to investigate. Some lady from two houses down from me was just pulling into her driveway and there are no other cars around. Before I spoke to her I went and checked my yard to see car tracks (my grass had just been cut that day).
I am raging at this point but allow myself to calm down before I go over there. After I calm down I walk over there and ring the doorbell and when she answers the door I politely ask her to not drive on my yard to which she replies "Oh I wasn't driving on your yard, I was only on the sidewalk" and when I point out the fact of the tracks she just repeats herself in a smart ass way which made me angry so I just pointed out the tracks again to which she starts yelling. After about a minute of her yelling and me trying to keep my composure she turns around and slams the door in my face and to this I lose it and say "Bye bitch!"
She turns around and is more fiery than ever and shes yelling cuss words and threatening me by "someone bigger than me". At this point I don't care and just wave and part with a fond "fuck you". This may have made this worse and I know I was in the wrong at that point, I just lost my composure and this lady was suuuuuuuch a bitch. Is there anything I can do to keep her from driving in my yard without having to put up a fence? Which is not allowed in my neighborhood for some reason.
TL;DR: | Crazy lady likes to do U-Turns in my yard. Calmly confronted her about it and got talked down to, lost control, and may have made it worse that way. Not sure what to do |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [24/F] Two years after last seeing him, I feel the need to contact an ex-friend [24/M] for closure.
POST: 5 years ago I met and became very good friends with a guy I'll call Carter.
4 years ago I became embroiled in a love triangle of sorts with Carter and my best girl-friend, Nina. (Possibly relevant that Carter met Nina through me.) The situation ends with Carter and Nina in a shaky romantic relationship, and me maintaining a friendship with both. I play the supportive friend to both and help out when asked. Unfortunately, Carter treats Nina terribly (ignoring her, not keeping dates, cheating on her), though they stay together for several years.
3 years ago Carter started treating *me* badly, ignoring me and our planned hangout sessions. Combined with his treatment of Nina, I become fed up and decide to keep our contact to a bare minimum. I haven't spoken to him at all for nearly two years.
3 months ago Carter and Nina broke up for the final time; at least, I hope for the final time. Nina got her closure last weekend when she confronted Carter face-to-face and essentially yelled at him for an hour. Me being Nina's best friend and having had a front-row seat to the relationship, she had naturally been venting to me. This last round of discussions has made me exhausted, and now I feel the need to contact Carter to get closure on my own relationship with him. Given that I haven't talked to him in years and that he had just dealt with another emotional female, how crazy or inappropriate would contacting him be?
TL;DR: | – I want to contact an ex-friend/failed romance/best-friend's-ex-boyfriend that I haven't spoken to in years in order to gain closure. Crazy and inappropriate? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Something is *seriously* wrong with my pets..
POST: So we had a boy cat named Cerberus and we have a girl cat named P.J. Cerberus would constantly hold P.J. down against her will and rape her and *spray* on her back. ALL THE TIME. So we got rid of him because he was *spraying* everywhere and ruining furniture. We also have a female **DOG** named Shadow. Once we got rid of Cerberus, Shadow started raping P.J. a lot!
It's really messed up because Shadow will hold P.J. down with her paws and just hump her. Even though they're both female! I just feel so bad for P.J. She's a rape victim that's ALWAYS getting raped! Is this normal?!
TL;DR: | I had a boy cat and he raped my female cat almost everyday, then we got rid of him. Now my female dog rapes my female cat all the time. How weird is this?? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21F] am ambitious, my husband [22M] of two-year relationship is not. Why would someone be unambitious?
POST: We are young to be married, I know, but in our culture we are actually quite old to be just married (3 months). Most of my [21F] female friends are married with children already, but as I said I am ambitious and we (me + husband [22M]) are waiting until our thirties to have a child.
I've just worked out that my husband is not ambitious. I guess I kind of saw the signs when we were dating, but the concept of being fine with doing the same job every day was so hard for me to get, that I did not see it until now. Husband and I went to university for the same field, and he got a job offer yesterday that seemed to be perfect (from my perspective). He declined the job. He's been working odd jobs to help support us as I finish my final year of schooling, so I thought a job in his field of study would be a no-brainer. We had an argument that night; I could not understand why he didn't want this job in his field, while he did not want the job because the job position was not something he would want to do for 20 years.
I am the type of person who will get a job expecting to move on from it in a few years. He is the type of person who wants to find a place where he will not have to move for 20 years. The job offer in question wasn't in the nature of an entry-level job, it was just with an organization that he did not want to stay with for 20 years. I told him that getting the job would just be a step towards the organization he really wanted to be with, but he said that he wants to find the place where he will be happy working there for 20 years.
My husband is very supportive of my career goals. I just don't understand how he cannot be ambitious. Can anyone else give me insight on why someone may not be ambitious, and how I can understand my husband better?
TL;DR: | I am ambitious, but my husband (I just realized) is not. Being unambitious is a foreign concept to me; can anybody give me advice as to why someone would not be ambitious? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, how to inspire and get a friend to quit smoking?
POST: Dear Reddit, have any of you successfully helped a friend to quit smoking?
my friend is a beautiful, intelligent girl in her mid twenties. I am a colleague and friends of hers. She smokes almost 6-10 cigarettes a day. It seems to have started to affect her looks as her lips and teeth have become grey. Also, she has a smoker girl image in our group and team which is not a good thing in this part of the world. She also has other health issues which I'm not sure are caused by smoking.
She has told me she want to quit and would like friends like me to force her to stop. She even said that she would quit if the world didn't end on the 21st. But tonight after dinner she smoked a packet of cigarettes with another common friend of ours who finished another packet.
Please help me reddit to get this good friend of mine to have a good and healthy lifestyle...
TL;DR: | a coworker who is also a good friend is smoking almost a packet of cigarettes everyday. She wants to quit but would need help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my mom [50 F], has been diagnosed with an incurable disease which will cause daily pain. I take satisfaction for her suffering. Is something wrong with me?
POST: My mother, when I was younger, was emotionally unstable, abusive, and singled me out for venting her frustration. I have spent years mulling over the things she did and tried to work through it in the past, eventually, went limited contact for two years, and then no contact for a year after that. Well, I wanted a relationship with my little brother who is still in highschool, and a relationships with my stepfather, so I called them up, and we moved forward without dwelling on the past too much. I've been able to repair my relationships with everyone but her. I know that she now cares about me and she's tried getting close to me since I've left the house, but the scars are still sore.
Well, recently, I found out she has contracted a major chronic disease and when I heard it, the most I could do was say sorry to her for hearing it. Meanwhile in my mind, the thoughts and feelings canned back, which I thought were gone, of hatred, albeit diminished.
Am I a sociopath or something? I want her to feel like I love her in a genuine way. How can I do that, with these negative feelings still there?
TL;DR: | I take pleasure in someone's future suffering. How can I express genuine sorrow for someone when I feel smug knowing their coming pain? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Ex-boyfriend [22 M] that I [21 F] dated for 3.5 years recently got new girlfriend, now says I can't see dogs anymore
POST: My ex-boyfriend "John" and I dated for over 3 years. Him and I made a mutual decision to end our relationship in November of last year.
TL;DR: | Ex-boyfriend won't let me see dogs because of his new girlfriend; My friends are being infinitely unsupportive/unhelpful; What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by holding a fart in too long
POST: So this happened just a few minutes ago and I'm able to write this out before class starts.
I'm currently in college and halfway through my schedule I have a three hour long break where I usually chill in the library and try to study/do homework and instead sit on reddit. Well today was different. Halfway through my three hour long break I start to feel a fart come on and since I'm in a room with a ton of people I decide to just hold it and wait till I get to the IT building where my next class is. The problem is it keeps building. I keep getting the rumblies and just clench my iron cheeks together as hard as possible to not let any leakage occur.
Thirty minutes before my next class I decide to leave so I can get to the IT building before people start to leave class and snag the bathroom while it's empty. So I head to the third floor(top) and somehow manage to make it to the bathroom and this huge nerdy dude is just standing there washing his hands. I head to the urinal and just try to bide my time AND HE DOESNT LEAVE! So I just say screw it and head to the stall. I immediately drop my pants and instantly a hailstorm of feces fly into the toilet and the sound could only be described as somebody throwing paint onto a wall and the deepest sound of an elephant yelling. The smell I don't want to talk about, it was awful.
Instantly the kid turns and looks directly at my stall and says "WTF!?" and finally runs out of the bathroom. I finally finish up and feeling 10 times better make it to class.
TL;DR: | held in a fart WAY longer than I should've and ruined some nerdy kid's life forever by listened to me explode a toilet. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [23F] live-in boyfriend [23 M] spends $200 a month on porn.
POST: So my boyfriend and I have had sexual problems our entire relationship (3 yrs, now living together). Despite our little problem, we have a wonderful relationship and I truly love him. I have had happy, healthy, sexual relationships with a a few people so naturally I want the same with him. The problems are almost entirely on his end (can't get aroused, just all around not interested), and I am an attractive girl and I have tried *everything.* So I was innocently opening up a document on the preview program on his computer and I accidentally closed
it, so I went to re-open it and see tons of porn pictures in his recent files. I was just *innocently* curious (I watch porn too, but it's not something we really share together) and I see it's hundreds of screenshots from pregnant women cam sites. And then dozens of folders of different sessions. He has no cookie cutter porn... Just pregnant women.
I do a little more not-so-innocent snooping because he has never shared this fetish with me and the amount of pictures is shocking. I look through his email and find he has been spending $200/month to visit these pregnant cam sites, whereas I spend $0 on porn. It's not a necessity I file into my monthly expenses. He is a very frugal person, so this shows me that it's important to him. So important that he can't "get off" with free porn, but needs contact with an actual pregnant woman in real time.
All of our sexual problems suddenly make sense, but I'm scared to talk with him about this. I was snooping around and found something I shouldn't have. But we need to talk about this, because excessive porn consumption seems to be leaving him completely and utterly disinterested in me. Not only that, but it's an outrageous cost to pay $1200 a year just to get off. How do I approach him? What does this mean about possibly "fixing" our sex lives? Or will simply having a strong fetish I cannot possibly deliver leave things forever broken?
TL;DR: | I was snooping around on my boyfriend's computer and found out he spends $200 a month on porn, leaving him totally sexually disinterested in me. How do I confront him when I shouldn't have been snooping? |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Tips for running through a period of depression?
POST: I've struggled with periods of depression throughout my life, and usually just binge on movies until it passes (1-2 months on average), forego exercise, and limit my interactions with others. Unfortunately, I'm a teacher now and on top of that, am training for a marathon in January. The problem is, I can barely motivate myself to show up for work in the morning, much less do any workouts - running or otherwise. Does anyone have tips on ways I can help push myself through this? Telling myself I'll feel better after my run is the obvious choice, but isn't going to work. I gained about 15lbs over the summer (thanks, American food and beer!) and even a mile is going to be a struggle until some of this weight comes off. I'm also living on a compound in a fairly dangerous country so running groups are not an option
TL;DR: | Depressed and need tips on how to get myself to run again so that i don't just sit at home and get worse. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm (19/M) so isolated and lonely. Why can't I find a girl who is somewhat into me?
POST: Had a breakup after a 4 year relationship back in March. I felt like crap so i decided to lose weight to improve my image. I've lost almost 50 pounds since then and I honestly look great. Went from 220 to almost 170. Im in my 2nd year of college and I was excited to meet new girls and see what is out there. I consider myself a mature and intelligent guy for my age. I'm a communications/journalism major and I am very well spoken. I've met a few girls over the past few months but I can't seem to get any to stick, and I just can't figure out why. It's not that I want a serious relationship, but having someone to text or talk to would be nice. To make matters even more weird, a gay guy I met has been the only person to show interest in me lately; I politely declined. I am in a situation where I am alone with no friends and really nobody but myself and my parents (who I have a hard time venting to) and its starting to take a toll on me. What should I do? I have gotten girls' numbers at school but they don't text me after the first or second message. What gives? How do I cope with this situation/is there something I could do differently? Thanks a bunch and I'll get back to your questions/answers ASAP.
TL;DR: | went through a breakup. Trying to meet new girls and it's not working out so well. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] finally blocked my ex on Facebook [24/F]. Need reassurance
POST: Me and my gf of 2 1/2 years broke up our long distance relationship (was long distance for last 5 months of relationship) about a month ago. I went NC and was in a lot of denial. I realized recently that I still love her.
We broke NC once. One sentence to let her know my friend is picking up my stuff..nothing more...nothing less.
She broke up with me because long distance was getting to both of us and she did not move because she did not know what she wanted out a career and was scared to move. She told me she wanted to be alone to figure this out. We had a solid and great relationship.
I sometimes regret not putting my all in all of the time. I was never a bad BF..but I feel now I could of done much more.
She is the nicest person I have ever met. I still miss her sometimes and I realized I would look at her FB and that I was subconsciously doing things to make her notice on FB.
I decided in order for me to move on, that I should block her...for my health and for hers. It was the hardest thing I have done. It was hard to block such a caring and nice person...I just want reassurance I am not an asshole.
TL;DR: | Blocked my ex on fb so I can move on easier. Even though she is a great person. Kind of want her back. Feel shitty about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by wearing the wrong socks and walking down the stairs
POST: Ok so this didn't happen today, it actually happened a few Christmases ago.
Some background - I was wearing these really corny Christmas socks which were really slippery for some reason
It was about mid afternoon and we were getting ready to eat when my mum asked me to get some extra plates from upstairs in the loft. I go and up and they are all it a huge box. I didn't know how many she needed so decided to bring the whole box down. After I had got down from the loft, I picked up the box and proceeded down the stairs wearing my slippery christmas socks and instead carefully taking it step by step, I thought it would be clever to carry it in front of my face and walk straight down. I couldn't see anything because the box was so big and about half way down the stairs, I began slipping. I almost regained my balance but started running/slipping down t
he stairs until I got to the bottom, dropped the box(smashing the plates and smacked my face into the radiator, breaking my front tooth. Since it was Christmas, nothing was open so I couldn't get it fixed until a later date.
TL;DR: | I tries to carry a box down the stairs wearing slippery socks, slipped and fell and spent the rest of Christmas day miserable with a broken front tooth. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by trying to show off on a dirt bike
POST: Obliged to say that this happened almost three years ago, but wasn't in touch with the hivemind then so posting it now. Was at a farm with a few friends ripping it up on dirt bikes and quad bikes. Now, there were a few cute girls around, and I was a hormonal 15 year old so wasn't exactly thinking with my brain. After doing a jump or two on a dirt pile I thought I'd floor it over a larger dirt pile and get some serious air time. One crucial thing regarding dirt bikes is that you need to pull back a lot while jumping lest the front tire hit the ground first resulting in the rider eating out Mother Nature. As I was about to launch off the dirt pile my front wheel sunk in a considerable amount. It was then that I realised that what I considered to be a dirt pile hitherto was in fact a pile of soft, unpact mushroom compost so instead of flying straight up I sailed through the air with the nose of the bike leaning significantly far foward. Can't remember what happened during that air time, or the fall, but I remember lying on the ground with my dirt bike on top of me, assume I had sailed off the front and got my head buried in the dirt. At least I had my helmet on right. So I stand up, walk over to my friends that are all running in my direction. My best mate asks me if I'm okay and I reply with "yeh sure just slightly winded". It was then I realised I had utterly no control over my wrist. Intense pain floods through my arm so I hobbled over to the nearest car and lean on the bonnet. Something was off with my reflection, upon closer inspection I discovered that I was in fact missing my front two teeth. In short, I was rushed to hospital whereupon I discovered that I'd broken my wrist in two places as well as dislocated it, the bottom half of my two front teeth were also smashed off, the nerves were exposed which resulted in excruciating pain till the following day during which they were repaired. But I did end up getting morphine so 10/10 would break again
TL;DR: | went all Evel Knievel to impress a chick, arm ended up flopier than a flaccid dick. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I stop comparing my [20F] relationship to current bf [20M, 1 month] with ex [22M, 4 years]?
POST: In short, there were things within my relationship with my ex that I guess I've now considered normal, such as texting throughout the day, having long and deep conversations about random issues/things, listening to him telling me about his day and what he did etc.
In my current relationship, I already know I love him and he loves me. We click on a lot of levels and we spend copious amounts of time together, watching tv, playing games, hanging out with friends etc. However, he is a self-admitted bad communicator. We've discussed this and I've asked him to try to communicate more. I'd love to discuss hypotheticals (my ex wasn't fond of this either) and for him to tell me even the smallest details (e.g. I played a game of GTA 5 and I gunned down these two guys blah blah).
He says that he's just not that type of person who focuses on the little details or who needs to always be talking. He is content with being around me and being in my presence. I'm someone who would love to share every little bit of detail about my life with him so I do feel a little bummed that he shares so little due to the fact that he doesn't feel the need to. Sure, I love spending time with him and just sitting in the same room as him is amazing but I'd also like to be able to talk about ... things.
Is there anything I/we can do?
TL;DR: | bf doesn't like communicating a lot (e.g. texting about his day, discussing issues/news) but I do - anything we can do to bridge this gap? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: People whose parents cheated: how were you able to reconcile with the past?
POST: This is difficult for me. I feel really embarrassed posting this, but I don't have anyone to talk to. I guess I'm looking to get some advice from others who have been through something similar.
When I was 15 (I'm 17 now), my parents separated and my dad moved out. I found out shortly after this that my dad had a sexual addiction and had been cheating on my mother with tons of women. Most of them were prostitutes, but he also had a 20 year old girlfriend (he was 40 at the time). Obviously, I was extremely furious, outraged, disgusted, and many other things. I sincerely hated him. I hated him for what he did to my mother. I thought he was despicable for, evidently, not having any self-control. I didn't speak to him at all for almost a year.
My father and I had a very bad relationship before this happened. I had pretty bad anger issues as a young child (I'm talking 3-7, maybe). According to my mom, I usually lashed out at him, and he took it personally. I honestly cannot remember very much of that period of my life, but I don't doubt what she says. I haven't had anger issues since then. Things were very bitter and tense between us. We didn't speak to each other unless it was necessary. Also, his emotionally abusive father abandoned his family when he was maybe 12 or 13. I don't think that he really knew how to be a dad, so to speak.
My parents got back together about a year after they separated. My dad moved back in and started going to essentially a 12-step program, I think. Since this, no one in my family has ever talked about what my father did. Things went back to normal, with one exception: my dad and I actually have a relationship now. I talk to him, joke with him, go to games with him.
Lately, though, I've been remembering what he did and what he put our family through. I am remembering my mother weeping and staying in bed for days, my little sister's fear, and my deep anger. I can't get it out of my head. I feel like I'm sabotaging our newfound relationship.
TL;DR: | My dad cheated on my mom for with tons of women. They separated but got back together. We had a shitty relationship before, now it's okay but I can't forget what he did. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] 2 months. I'm having a really hard time telling my parents
POST: So I've been seeing this girl I really like for 2ish months now, it's going well, however I'm having a hard time telling my parents.
My parents are supportive and I think they'll be happy for me, however as I said i'm having a hard time telling them, I think it's mainly because of my brother [23M] he's really quite depressed at the moment, and he's never had a girlfriend. I don't want to sound like a dick, however throughout my life, I have scored better than him in tests/AS levels. He failed his AS levels and dropped out of school, whereas I passed them and am hoping to go to university next year. All this has made be feel is really bad about it all, and I feel that if i get a girlfriend before him as well, it might push him over the edge. I have invited her round in about 2 weeks to set myself a deadline, so I better tell my parents by then.
TL;DR: | I'm having a hard time telling my parents about my girlfriend because my older brother is depressed and has never had a girlfriend |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [18F] am confused about a college hookup with [18M] (x-post from r/relationships)
POST: I met this guy who lives in my dorm on Friday and we spent most of the weekend drinking and studying together. At one point we hooked up (only to 3rd base), and we continued hanging out with mutual friends/alone for the next two days with no mention to the hookup until last night. He said that he wanted to do it again, but I am not interested in a FWB thing, and I have no idea what he wants.
I told him that he should think about what he wants and that I would do the same and that we'd talk later, but we talked today (to be fair it was on a bus) and there was no mention of it. I don't think our mutual friends have any idea what has happened.
However, I do realize that I hooked up with a guy I met the day before and that I probably screwed things up from the get-go. I was kind of drunk and he was really hot, please don't judge, and I've never done anything like this before.
After spending quite a bit of (platonic) time with him and texting him a lot, it turns out I kind of like him. But as hot and nice as he may be, I only want to have relations with someone who really likes me. I don't know if I mean a relationship, but definitely something more than a fuck buddy. I also realize that it would make this a lot easier if I actually knew what I wanted.
I do think that he is into me, but I really don't know what he wants at all. Obviously I don't want to force anything.
Basically what I'm asking is that even though this whole thing started as a hookup, can I set it on a more meaningful track?
TL;DR: | I hooked up with a hot guy I didn't really know, but now that I do I kind of like him but I don't know what to do next. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18F] dated a guy[19 M] for 3 years and we broke up. Still hungout and talked about being in love/getting back together. He just ended things and told friends he's been just using me for sex. How do I stop feeling like life sucks?
POST: I dated a guy I met in my sophomore year of high school. He was a senior. We had everything in common and he went to college and we still dated. We broke up a few months ago but continued to talk/have sex. We had discussed getting back together and being in love but he's now decided he never wants to date me again. He said he's "in love with me but doesnt want me to be the girl he marries"
He told me that a few weeks ago but continued to see me and sleep with me and say he loves me which made me get hope. He told his best friend he's been using me for sex and when I found this out it killed me inside.
During our relationship there were problems- he didn't care about me sometimes, often neglected me, ect, but I was madly in love and we had so many mutual interests and opinions that it was perfect.
I just basically need advice on how to get better. I am an absolute mess right now and seeing a picture of him pop up destroys me. He dated me for so long and then just dropped me like I never existed. I don't get motivated for college because he goes there and all my memories of that school involve me visiting him. Can you guys just give me tips on how to stop being a pathetic depressed shit? thank you
TL;DR: | Depressed over breakup and being used for sex. Can't get over him. Going to same college as him next year. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Don't become a customer of solo mobile
POST: Today I tried to send a text message to multiple contacts. My phone has a software bug which causes it to restart when I try to do that. I tried to work around this bug, which caused my phone to restart every time I tried to send a text message. I went to the bell store for a fix, and they offered me a "deal" for a smartphone on a 3 year contract. A repair to my current phone was not mentioned. Since this was a small software issue, I thought this would be an easy fix.
Speaking to tech support by phone, they told me a repair would be $70 and take 4-6 weeks. I asked how to reset the phone, but I don't recall being told how. I was transferred to retention, where I was offered 2 other "deals" involving an extension on my contract (with a new phone) or buy a $50 phone from solo for the last 6 months of my contract (and they would "generously" waive the activation fee). I mentioned I was not happy with solo (reception, and this problem) and was told this model is a lemon, and it wasn't solo's fault.
I found the manual online. I knew if I could find a way to delete all of my text messages, this would solve the problem. I found this explanation in the manual, and it solved my problem. I was right about this being an easy fix.
Note: A phone on a 2 year contract has a warranty of 1 year. Also, the person at retention noticed an agent erroneously extended my contract last august. They get points for honesty there, admittedly.
TL;DR: | Tech support is useless, don't buy anything from solo mobile/Bell cause they will try to make a sale instead of solving your problem. |