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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (24 F) had sex with a date (26 M) after talking for over a month. How do I have the "what are we" convo, move forward, or figure out what this exactly is..?
POST: Be sure to explain in detail with line breaks.
Hey all- I recently moved to a new country, and ended up chatting with an amazing guy who I met off of Tinder. We met up, and each time we've had a date they have lasted for hours and have been arguably the most fun/interesting dates I've had. He used to text me multiple times a day, and he's told me it feels like we've known each other for ages, and that seeing me is so easy. I've kept casual with it, as I'm a firm believer that good things happen naturally, which they all have. But I'm used to this city's casual dating atmosphere, where friends with benefits are so often. But this guy is different. He didn't mention anything sexual for quite some time, until I initiated how damn attracted to him I was one evening. Usually, he'd pay for things, and the most interaction we'd have is a kiss here or there goodbye. He's asked me before about my story, dating history, etc. He's quite a gentleman, so charming, very sweet. Earlier this week a few days ago I went back to his, we made drinks and chilled, which lead to some intensely wonderful sex (which he seemed quite blown away by as well). I stayed the night at his, then we left early for work. Since then, the texting has been a bit less often. He couldn't hang out this weekend because he has a few friends in town. But then, he hasn't talked to me at all for the weekend and I'm heading out of town for a trip in a few days, I'd love to see him again. I wouldn't be bothered if I didn't notice he was on whatsapp, but hasn't read my text from the weekend. Am I overthinking everything, being paranoid he's not as genuine, or do I trust that his intentions are a relationship down the road, not just a hookup? Thoughts appreciated, thank you. I know this is silly, but this whole game of dating is so crazy sometimes nowadays. And with Tinder, it's a whole new ballpark.
TL;DR: | Met a great guy, not quite sure if it's a possible relationship he wants, or if it's just a hook up. How should I handle this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: How can I get around myself? [22 Male]
POST: Background: I've always put every other aspect of my life in front of my love life, possibly as an excuse.
Recently I've landed a great job, I'm going to college for free, and in a club, I'm working out 4 days a week, with yoga involved. Compared to where I was in my life only a year ago, I'm moving, and moving fast.
**"I feel like I can move faster, or improve in another way."**
I feel that this thought is caused by the fact I haven't been in a relationship in over 2 years now. I am a great talker, it's my job, and I'm very personable (other's descriptions of myself), and I can understand that. I am an extrovert, and it's easy for me to socialize.
The issue arises when I realize someone is hinting at me, or I realize that I like another woman. I become the person I was in High School, and truth be told, I haven't worked on that part of my social life since then.
I have no 'moves', I haven't slept with another person more than 3 times in the past year.
I just don't know how to go about this issue of mine and I was hoping this sub-reddit might shed some light onto me. I do hope this question isn't too vague that I get downvoted into a oblivion, but I'm willing to crosspost elsewhere if that's what it takes for insight.
TL;DR: | People describe me as sociable and personable, but I lack proper one-on-one skills with the opposite sex when it comes down to it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: Me (24 m) contemplating about one of my friend (24 f)
POST: I'll try to be brief, so I won't steal too much of your time.
I have a female friend from high-school, we were always good friends. I had a crush on her for a while back then, but I didn't told her, because I was afraid of the answer, and of loosing her as a friend.
She found a boyfriend (they were together for a few years) I found a girlfriend (we were together for a few months :P) time has past, she broke up with his old bf, got a new one (basically because she got bored with him).
So she was away to work, but came back last week. Somehow I wound out that she came home and I called her. She was really happy to hear my voice, and we went out for a few beers with a mutual friend.
Since then I can't think of anything else than her. To be honest I don't know if she is in a relationship, because I didn't asked (I have reason to think that she's not but, I might be wrong). Once someone asked me, if she would be single then what would I do, and I answered: I would try my luck.
Now I don't know what to do, given the fact that I intentionally friend-zoned myself with her (at least that's how I feel).
I just want to talk about this with someone, what is your opinion? What would you do if you would be in her position (or have you ever been in this position?) I don't want to find the right answer, I just want to talk about it.
TL;DR: | an old crush of mine might be single, we are in a good friendship, undecided if I should take the next step |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Our issues have been resolved but perhaps the damage is done. Any advice? (23F/M)
POST: My ex and I, both 23, were together for a year and a half. During that period we came close to breaking up several times, but always made it work and continued forward stronger and more in love than ever. We had an amazing summer, felt like we were insanely compatible, and both thought seriously about marrying each other. He told me that I was his ideal woman several times and that he had never been so in love.
Most of our problems stemmed from my poor relationship with my parents, who have always been abusive and invalidating. When stressful things happened with my family, I would find myself immensely sad but couldn't let my ex in because of all the shame I had been brought up with about sharing these things. After a trying month in August he broke up with me. I finally gained the courage to cut ties with my parents and see a therapist who specializes in these sorts of issues. I feel so much better and am demonstrably more stable, now that I've embraced and been working through my trauma.
Since the breakup I've confessed to my ex all of the awful experiences that I had as a child. He says he feels like he understands me so much better now and feels like our issues have finally been resolved. He says that he's still really tired from everything that happened, though, and doesn't think he loves me anymore. I do understand this; when he's hurt he needs space, and I made the mistake of not giving him that initially. We hung out several times after the break-up and everything seemed great, but he decided recently that he just couldn't take the ambiguity and needed to come down one way or another. He said he wasn't coming back and needed to not see me for a while.
I've been trying to give him this space but it is really hard. I can't help but hope that we can finally work things out now that my family situation is out of the way. He agreed to get back in touch with me later when he's had enough time and if he's single. I know I can't wait around for him forever, but I love him so much and really do want this to work. Any words of wisdom would be appreciated.
TL;DR: | Family was causing a lot of stress for me and damaging my amazing relationship. I finally decided to do something about the situation and my ex recognizes that was our main issue, but is it too late? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (M, 29) while out with a mate (M, 29) bumped into his ex/someone I'm also close friends with (F, 27). How should I have handled this situation?
POST: So I was out with a friend going to get lunch when another close friend of mine (also his ex) called out to me when she saw me. They hadn't seen each other in years. I waved, then ended up turning around in her direction to go and say hi.
I was pretty conscious about making either of them feel uncomfortable or awkward, so I thought I would keep it quick, we said our hellos, then parted way (there was a bit of an awkward silence at the end).
I texted her casually later on saying "lol that was awkward" just to make light of the situation.
I then got a response back saying that it wasn't awkward at the start, but that I made it awkward. Apparently I just waved and walked away (I was admittidely unsure what to do at the start, but did go to say hi), and apparently I didn't look like i wanted to talk.
I tried to explain that I just wasn't sure how to deal with the situation, to not make either party uncomfortable. But now I'm getting ignored.
So is there anything that I should be doing in this situation? It seems pretty awkward no matter what....
TL;DR: | While out with a friend bumped into another close friend who was also his ex. Situation got awkward, and apparently it was me that did it. What can I do differently? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by almost using "Beggars can't be choosers" with a real-life beggar, because I bought the beggar dinner and then he bitched about not getting salsa
POST: Ok, so my mom always said "Beggars can't be choosers" -- I almost employed that annoying ass phrase to a real beggar.
I stopped in the parking lot at Rubios to get my fish tacos, and some poor guy asks for 30c for a soda, and I said "How about instead I just buy you dinner?" to which he very happily agreed. I asked if he liked fish tacos, and he said "Well I'd rather have steak" -- and I said that's fine, no problem, let me grab it for you.
I pay for this guy's steak taco dinner meal and drink, $12, and take it out to him and have a very short conversation. He goes through his food and looks at me and says "There's no salsa?" like I was gonna go back the fuck inside and get it for him. I nearly said "Beggars can't be choosers, asshole" but realized he was probably somewhere on the spectrum, and told him he's welcome to grab it himself and said "have a good one" and left, pissed off.
Now I'm pissed because I did something kind, but the fucker was unappreciative.
TL;DR: | Bought a beggar dinner; he bitched because I didn't grab his salsa; I told him to get it himself; I feel like a douche for not buying his dinner correctly, and for what he said to me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Issue with my room mates cat.
POST: Question for everyone out there. My room mate has a cat that is quite anti social but I can decently handle. Problem lies in the fact that the cat likes to jump up behind our large flat screen tv to get into the window. The tv stand is solid wood but has a floating glass top. When the cat jumps up and down in and out of the window the cat slightly moves the glass top. We have secured it as much as possible, it really is just a design flaw we think. But, nonetheless, it's still a concern. Nothing else moves the top but the cat. We have talked to the room mate about the issue but her philosophy is "it's a cat, good luck keeping him out of the window". I know she does nothing to deter the cat and despite already allowing the cat to ruin the brand new carpet in her room we simply want to keep the rest of the house intact. We, the boyfriend and I, are afraid of the cat moving the glass top so much that the TV will fall. The room mate is not financially well off. The reason for moving in was a job change and to help her save money. None of that has happened as planned. We have discussed that issue and a move out date is end of April 2012. We tried to do good but have gotten more screwed on the situation than we ever imagined. We can't kick her out because, despite being 36, lives paycheck to paycheck and has no where to go. Also, rearranging furniture is not an option. The room is quite odd and our living room only works this way. Any suggestions from the cat owners out there to help us deter a cat from getting in and out of the window?
Btw, if this should be in another subreddit please let me know. I'm asking a question of my fellow redditors so this seemed most logical.
TL;DR: | Room mate doesn't respect our wishes to keep cat out of window for fear of knocking the tv off the tv stand. Need suggestions on how to deter it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what's the coolest thing you've found in the trash? Here's mine.
POST: It's too dang big to mount or put anywhere right now, so it's just leaning against the wall collecting dust. I didn't feel like lugging in a game system or DVD player to hook up to show that it works, but indeed it does!
When we first found it and brought it home, we were positive it wouldn't work. But we had to try. We hooked it up with the DVD player playing Avatar and alas! Awesome, clear picture. So why did someone throw it away?
About 30 minutes into watching the movie it started to get screen burn-in really bad. Ah, so that's why. I had the idea of fiddling with the picture settings, and fixed the issue pretty easily. No more screen burn in, and we got an awesome, huge plasma TV for free.
Maybe the people who threw it out were technically challenged? I have no idea, I would have at least tried to sell that bitch on Craigslist.
I looked it up online awhile back and the retail value was something like $1,700.
TL;DR: | Found a plasma TV at the dump, brought it home thinking it wouldn't work. Worked, but got screen burn-in after about 30 minutes. Fixed it in the picture settings. Win. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Losing all sense of purpose after difficult breakup [26F] with my ex and then reverting to a former FWB need some advice/clarity/perspective
POST: Hi Reddit,
I'll try to keep this post clear and concise without a huge wall of text (adding in fake names to keep things simple).
Sam and I were on/off hooking up for 2 years. I moved around a bit and there was a large gap of time in which we never communicated, but I did have feelings for him and miss him. When he came back in my life (for sex), I confided my feelings in him and it ended right there because he didn't want a relationship.
I was devastated, but then I thought why not try dating on one of those apps and just embrace being single and ready to mingle (since I did want a relationship). I met Mark on one of those apps and he was perfect in every which way. We were in love and I thought it was meant to be. Sam then had a change of heart and wanted his me back in his life (as the booty call obviously) but I declined his advances and told him I was happy in my relationship. But then Mark started acting distant, and he started confiding his doubts about us in me. How he feared for our compatibility and wasn't sure what he wanted when it came to us. Mark never even slept with me or took me out on a vacation - I decided to end things when after a month long break he told me his feelings changed and everything felt forced when it came to us and he needed more "time."
I feel like I don't know how to cope with Mark's abandonment of me Reddit. I started going on those dates from the apps and met guys but felt no click with anyone (and the guys I did like didn't feel the same way about me). And then I managed to hook up with Sam and it felt great to have meaningless sex with him without the feelings -- basically I'm anxious I'm making poor decisions and I sort of feel guilty like I betrayed Mark by hooking up with Sam again but Mark isn't in my life. I don't know how to cope with this loss. Help
TL;DR: | Girl feels sad about the heartbreak of losing a guy - and then goes back to hooking up with a former FWB that she had feelings for and even online dating but sucks at it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: My dog ate some bad things. Advice?
POST: Gus is a 12.4 lb, 3/4 Dachshund (height of mini, length of standard). I adopted him 6 months ago from a lady who was going to sell him off to a breeder for an awful puppy store so they could make their thousands off of my best friend. Anyway..
He's never really done this before, but in the last week, he's eaten a couple things he shouldn't have. We just moved, so it's harder to keep things off of the floor/out of the way when not everything really has a place yet. He is in the kennel when we are gone, my concern is pretty situational.
The first thing he ate was a maxi pad (that the cat dragged out of the garbage). I don't mean he ripped it apart, he ATE over half of it. He has had trouble with #2 ever since, screaming and crying and having cottony stools that get stuck in place.
Tonight, I was cleaning out the refrigerator and had a handful of stuff, dropping 2 sort of dried, thick cut maple bacon slices onto the floor without noticing. Like a dog, he ate them. I caught him in his kennel (clear across the apartment) chomping away. He swallowed the last bit before I could grab them.
I'm worried, because every poop he has already is excruciating because of that maxi pad. I know that the nitrates in the uncooked bacon can really hurt his pancreas, and I'm worried that 2 thick cut slices will be a lot for his little system.
I've got a vet that we take him to, but I want to make sure that I've done everything in my power before I take him in - nothing personal, money isn't necessarily an issue.. I just like to be educated and understand fully so I can make sure that he is okay at home first. No reason in paying a $75 exam fee and having them tell me that 'he'll be fine'. Does anyone have any suggestions other than 'take him to the vet'? Any experience with this? I plan to call the vet tomorrow just to see what the techs say, but I'd love some other opinions from dog owner/lovers.
TL;DR: | My 12lb dog ate half a maxi pad, then two days later ate 2 slices of uncooked bacon. Cottony constipation to possible diarrhea. Best plan of action? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Any advice for the friendzoned?
POST: I've known a guy for about six years, and though I never believed in love at first sight before, I was struck by it since the first words between us. He's a little older than me and we're very close, so he may consider me more of a younger sister. I love him more than anything else, and he's always been what kept me going during some rough family problems. The problem is that he has a girlfriend. He used to be consistently frustrated with her and complained to me constantly, yet recently he seems like he enjoys being around her much more. None of our friends like her, either, so I know it isn't just me. She's caused a lot of stress on his friendships with others, but they're all very kind people and have put up with her to remain his friend.
Anyway, is there any hope for me, or since we're so close am I already too far in the friendzone? Is there anything I can do?
TL;DR: | I really like a guy, but I'm pretty friendzoned and he has a girlfriend no one likes. Any advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I need to find a charity to donate paper products to near Redding, CA (details inside)
POST: I have inherited a sizable amount of paper products from my wife's grandmother(old stationary business). I am trying to clear out a shop for doing mechanical work and it is filled with cases of stationary items. Currently I have legal pads, notebooks of various size, three ring portfolios, and filler paper. I am coming to my fellow Derps and Derpettes in the hopes someone knows of a charitable organization near Redding, CA that my be interested in acquiring this type of product. I am hoping to find an organization that perhaps helps to equip children for school. I would prefer not to give it to Goodwill or the Salvation Army, since they tend to charge as much as Wal-Mart would for this type of product in my area; to me that defeats the purpose of what I am trying to do. I don't mind driving a bit out of the way, but the distance should be within reason, since I will have to tow a trailer to move any decent amount of it.
TL;DR: | I have tons of school stationary and want to know the name of a charity near Redding, CA that would be willing to take it and distribute it to needy school children. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22M] with my Girlfriend [19F] of 3 months, are going to be in a long distance relationship for a while(4 months). Suggestions?
POST: Recently I started seeing a girl she's everything I want in a girlfriend and I'd known her on a more professional level for about 6 months before we started having romantic feelings for each-other and dating.
I developed feelings for her while travelling in the same group, she travels quite a bit I travel some of the time. Basically right now she's working overseas for 4 months and going though about 6 different countries some she will have very limited to no internet access. Currently she's in a remote part of Asia and has to walk twenty minutes to go to an internet cafe which doesn't have skype but we are able to talk over Facebook.(Can't install software).
In about 4 weeks she'll return to my home for 1 week before leaving again and return in 3 months.
I'm currently working full time so it is difficult to talk to her due to time zone differences a lot of the time but usually we are able to make something work.
This will be a reoccurring thing in our relationship at the end of this year she will have to travel again for 4 months, but will have a reliable internet connection for the most part especially on her weekends and I might be able to fly to visit her during a small amount of her time off.
Are there many couples that have been able to make this sort of situation work? As our relationship is quiet new, although we've known each other for around 8-months can this situation work?
Can someone give me some advice on how we can feel closer? I worry that our relationship will fall apart because it has been so difficult to spend time together.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend travelling for long period of time 4 months, advice to help the time go faster and strengthen our relationship? She'll be back for 1 week shortly and then gone again for 3 months. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24M] with my new girl (25F) I recently met just got out of an abusive relationship...
POST: I've written about this girl before, but I'm asking a different question this time.
This girl who I have recently met and I want to pursue something with, she has just recently gotten out of a relationship a month ago. This 2 year relationship ended because her ex tried to strangle her. He also cheated on her for 6 months before but somehow forgave him. She comes from a stable family with no problems. So if I were to successfully pursue a relationship with this girl, from the abuse that she's experienced, what kind of behaviour (except for obvious lack in confidence) should I expect? Should I expect her to get revenge on men by her treating me badly? Use me as a rebound? And how do I help her slowly, but gradually move on from this traumatic event?
TL;DR: | Girl I just met just got out of an abusive relationship - what kind of behaviour should I expect from her? And how do I help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [21F] considering breaking up with my boyfriend [25M] of over a year...is this a valid reason?
POST: Hi, so I've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year, and things have been great. The only real issue is that we're very long distance, I met him while studying abroad in Europe and I live in the States. We fell in love though and decided to continue our relationship in spite of the obvious obstacles.
Thing is, my boyfriend is very serious about me. As in, he genuinely wants to marry me and settle down and have a family. And for some time I thought I felt the same. But the longer this goes on, the more I find myself pulling away and freaking out that I'm settling down far too soon in life.
I'm only 21. I've only had one other real relationship prior to this one, I've never really had a chance to just be a single adult and date around, see my options. I know that if I stay with my boyfriend, before too long he'll want to be engaged and I'll probably be married by 24/25...and I'm of the opinion that's way too fuckin young to be committed to someone in that way. In my mind, I want my 20s to be about self-discovery and meeting tons of new people. I don't want to be in a long-term relationship, I don't want to be married by 25, I just feel like I need to focus on developing myself and not get tied down so soon.
At the same time, I am so in love with my boyfriend. Absolutely smitten. But I don't feel it's fair to him for me to keep this a secret. It's not fair to lead him on, make him think I want the same things when I've been feeling more and more like I just don't. Has anyone else felt this way? What did you do?? Is this a valid reason to break things off with someone, even when you really love them? I'm afraid my boyfriend is the right guy, that I just met at the wrong time.
TL;DR: | I feel too young to be settling down, my boyfriend knows he wants to get married in the next few years. I'm freaking out and am considering breaking up. Need advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25F] have a crush on another female [20s?F] and I don't know her sexuality, but I want to know of how to approach it.
POST: No throwaway cus fuck it.
I'm attending a four day training session for my job starting next week. I started talking to this girl and found myself instantly attracted to her. This was the first day. Now I swear I get some vibes from her but maybe I'm just making it up. I caught her staring at me a couple of times, too.
Today is day two and she came and sat at my table (we were all separated into groups and she happened to be in mine) and sat directly across from me. We caught eyes a couple of times and smiled. Then, because her spot got taken when she got up, she came over to my side of the table. I was nervous but then we started making small talk and left it at that when we got separated again.
I have no clue if she is single, gay, bisexual, anything but something about her attracts me so much.
So, reddit please help. How do I approach her and ask to keep in contact after these four days are over? We will be at separate schools and won't see each other all year. I don't want to seem creepy, but I like her. I am bisexual, BTW. Please help me figure out how I can be casual about this. If she's straight, I'd still love to be her friend. If she's not, I'd like to explore that as well.
So what do you think reddit? I'm decent with hitting on guys, but this is very new territory for me. I feel like I get vibes from her but she may be just a really nice person. Please help!
TL;DR: | I am a bisexual female, have a crush on a girl, not sure of age or sexuality. Will not see her after four day training is up. How to ask to keep in contact and not be creepy? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Can anyone tell me why this link was taken down from TIL? It seems a bit biased and shady to me....
POST: So the other day I was scrolling the front page and I saw a link to a story about George W. Bush defending a possibly homosexual peer from ridicule back in the 60's. Now I took special note of it firstly because (I'll be honest) I've always liked the guy. But more so I was surprised to see that the liberal reddit community would upvote a story portraying their Satan in a good light to the front page. Later that day I decided to look for it again to show a friend. I checked the front page and it wasn't there. It was a little strange that it had moved down so fast, but not impossible. But as I clicked on, page through page, I realized that it simply wasn't there. It must have been taken down. I can't help but suspect that this is the result of heavy mod bias. The only rule that might have gotten the article banned is the politics rule, but that only bans TIL's on current politics, of which a former president is certainly not apart.
The article is linked there, its a good story and I think people should see it. Read it and please tell me: what about that article being posted was against the rules?
If mods filter things out that they don't like to see, Reddit can become a very brain-washy place.
TL;DR: | I saw a story about GWB in TIL that I liked and it got taken town and I can't figure out why other than shitty Mod bias |
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge
TITLE: I hope you enjoy your coffee.
POST: So, I was in summer school. My teacher had a tendency of picking on me and telling me things.
One morning my teacher decided to comment on me being in summer school and said, "I can understand why you're here, you are so slow and don't know anything." Of course i took that to offense, but i decided not to say anything and continued working.
About an hour later she asked me to go get her some coffee, I got up and went to the teachers lounge. When I got there I noticed no one was around. Remembering what my teacher said I decided to get revenge. I found some food coloring laying around (I think someone was making cake, idk) I put about 10 drops into her coffee, took some scissors and traced the circle at the bottom of the cup (it was Styrofoam) making it really weak.
I went back to my classroom and handed my teacher the cup, i sat down and went back to work. A few moments later I heard a gasp, I smirked to myself as I saw the blue and brown mixture all over my teachers shirt and pants. The best part is she had her phone in her bra and proceeded to get that wet too.
TL;DR: | Teacher called me dumb, put food coloring in her coffe, fucked her cup up. Ruined her clothes and phone. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Breakup imminent, i don't want to lose her, but i don't see another option.
POST: Hi reddit, i am a 22 year old male and my GF is also 22, we've been together for about 6 months.
The situation is that she is concerned that, because of my views on having kids and marriage (i don't want either until quite far into the future, and i made that very clear near the beginning of the relationship) and she says she "doesn't see any point then" and doesn't think the relationship is going anywhere. She says she'd have kids tomorrow if she could.
I am unwilling to compromise on these veiws because i don't think that either of us are in a position to bring a child into the world, both maturity wise and financially (i have no job, she cannot afford to even run a car on hers) and i wonder why we can't just enjoy having each other and i don't think a relationship needs to be validated by heading to these certain points. although i could see myself doing all that stuff with her at some point in the future cause she is a really good woman, but 22 is very young for me to be having kids and i want to live some first.
TL;DR: | GF doesn't see the relationship going anywhere because i don't want kids or marriage for a good while yet, i think neither of us are ready for it in any way. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it natural to have quick/brief self-sabotaging thoughts in a relationship? Me [25M] and her 23[F] for 3 months.
POST: This is going to sound really stupid, but given this is both of our first relationships, we are both new at navigating through what a relationship is supposed to be like.
First off, I really like this girl. She has great career ambition, we have a lot in common, she's pretty, and she is the most caring individual I've met. I enjoy being around her and we're very affectionate towards one another.
However, this has been popping up recently in my thoughts, and I don't know why. Occasionally, just out of whim, I'll have a thought surface about me doing something that would sabotage the relationship. For example, if I was supposed to pick her up from school, just leave her there hanging. Another example would be is I would stop communicating with her.
At first, these thoughts were blips, but they have started to gnaw at me. Sometimes at night, these thoughts get really loud. When they do, I can't help but feel that I'm doubting this relationship, despite the fact that everything is going so well. At the same time, I get consumed with guilt when I get these thoughts.
Like I said, this is my first ever relationship. I feel like a part of me is sabotaging what I really enjoy due to fear of caring for someone else, but then there is another part that is saying that maybe I'm not 100% into this relationship? I'm having trouble making sense of these thoughts.
TL;DR: | Started with brief thoughts that have become louder about doing something that would significantly damage our relationship. Not sure if I'm self-sabotaging. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 20 (m) with 21 (f) who lived with me for a week after our first date.. now doesn't have time for me
POST: Me a 20 year old male at university and her a 21 female at the same university. She had been dating one of my team mates at the beginning of the school year, this is how we first met.
Eventually they broke up and she had been leaving subtle hits for me to make a move. Eventually I made the connection and started chatting with her on facebook. After about a week of casual chatting we decided to go on a date on a Saturday night. This is where things get strange.
The first date went very well, had food, watched the NHL game that was on that night. Post date I invited her back to my house to watch the rest of the game as there was still another period of it left. The game ends and she stays to hang out longer. It starts to get late so I offer that she can stay over if she wanted to, she accepts. No sex just cuddling.
The next day we hang out for most of the day, she leaves for a few hours but returns later that day. Again she stays the night (no sex just cuddling). After a week she had stayed at my house every night and we were on a kissing and calling each other babe level. After a week of staying at my house it was time for us to go back to our home towns at the conclusions of classes.
Over the next two weeks I have only seen her once for a short lunch date. Every time I invite her out to do something she has a reason why she can't go, or sometimes doesn't even respond to my text.
Should I give up and move on, do something different, help me reddit.
TL;DR: | Girl lives with me for 7 days after the first date, moves back home for the summer and seams like she doesn't want to see me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My mom[F37] is holding airplane tickets for my trip down south over my[M18] head. Pressure is stressing me out due to fear of failure. Advice/support?
POST: Hi everyone, I'm normally a lurker and this is a throwaway because I have friends and family who reddit.
Background information: So I'm currently in college up north as a nursing major. I left my SO and friends to go to this college because the nursing program was really good and my mom recommended it to me.
Now my mom, who currently lives close by to my college (I would say about an half hour drive has promised me that she would help me arrange a trip during the winter break to visit my SO and friends in exchange that I keep up a 3.0. I agreed and I've been working at it with my best.
Now that it's finals week. My mom has been constantly reminding me that my trip is at risk if I don't do well. Every time I get on the phone with her she'll say something along the lines of "you better study or else there won't be a trip".
Now I'm fairly confident that I can make the 3.0 except for one of my science classes which I've been struggling in. This has been causing me a lot of stress and the fact that she keeps dangling my trip over my head like a piece of meat isn't helping. I've been freaking out and really going nuts over these test. This trip means the world to me and the emotions I would feel if I failed is really starting to get at me.
What I'm trying to say here reddit is that I know there's a possibility of me not going and I shouldn't blame my mom for that. Just how method of motivation is really stressing me and now that its the finals time. The pressure is getting at me. I would like advice and how to compose myself if I don't get that trip.
My Friends have advised me to plan something on my own, but I feel like if I don't go it's entirely my fault and it's not in my place to really act out against the agreement me and my mom made. I want to be able to hold myself down if I hear those bad news.
TL;DR: | Constant reminders of the consequences of not living up to my mom's expectations are causing me to stress out about losing a flight very dear to me. Need support and or advice in case I'm not able to go. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] spent a week out of town for work. worked with a [29 F]. She was amazing and I don't know how to proceed. Help!
POST: I spent a week out of town for work and one of the people I worked with was a 29 F.
We worked together for 2 days (I know way to short of a time) but I was blown away by her intelligence, passion and beauty.
I sent a note before I left saying how great it was to work with her and we exchanged contact info.
We only worked together for a short time but I was just so struck by this woman. I want to get to know her better but I don't know how to proceed since we only spent a few days together and live on opposite coasts of the US. I should also mention that I haven't dated since freshman year of college and that was 6 years ago. Thanks!
TL;DR: | Worked with a woman for 2 days who blew me away. Want to build up a relationship but don't know how to proceed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: The n word...
POST: [Traditional]: Last night this girl bet me I could not memorize the lyrics to H.Y.F.R. by drake in 24 hours. Well, she was wrong but the problem is that I am white apparently. A black guy came up to me and said he was offended by me saying the n word and I didn't know what to say. My Asian friend who I was singing along with talked to him. Later, he called me (not my Asian friend though we were both there) and started something. I tried to apologize but he just wanted to tell at me, and then his friend told me just to leave. So I did as quickly as I could. He calked me a "white nigga" and I'm not sure what to do with that and I feel guilty. I just want to apologize, but that's not what these black people want. I'm not sure how to feel but fuck I feel like they may have over reacted. Is singing song lyrics hateful and oppressive? I'm not sure but I did not think so. Obviously wrong though but the lack of understanding, or openess to apology or understanding another's view point is what bothered me. I know that i fucked up, clearly won't do that again. But I don't understand being mad without offering someone a way to make it better, especially at an elite liberal institution.
TL;DR: | sung rap lyrics, got told I was offensive. Got told I was offensive, got yelled at. But my Asian friend did not. Idk. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Wife has no interest in sex at all. How do I handle?
POST: I'm 32 and wife is 31. We're married for 11 years and have a 4 year old son. We both work full time jobs. Our relationship is emotionally strong, but ever since my son was born, her libido is non-existent. We have sex, maybe 2-3 times a month, but there's no "fire" to it. She basically just does it to appease me.
I'm at the end of my rope. I've talked with her before and she did speak to her OB about a year ago who pulled her off her birth control thinking that was the problem. It wasn't.
Each time I've talked to her about it she somehow turns it around to make me feel like some sex crazed maniac. I don't think she's initiated sex at all in the past 4 years. I just feel so depressed about feeling unwanted, undesired and flat out empty and now my feelings are turning into thoughts of perhaps she's cheating one me (Which i really don't think to be the case, but after such a length of time the mind wanders)
I've decided that tonight I will sit down with her after my son goes to bed and discuss this, but I don't want this to turn into another argument or have her turn it around onto me, making me feel like the a bad person.
How can I approach this? What can I say to her to make her understand how much this is hurting me and how badly it's effecting my self-esteem?
TL;DR: | Wife has no sex drive, I'm going nuts. Going to confront her tonight, how do I not fuck this up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20M], feeling down after a series of different things happening, hoping some older folks can shed some light on if things might get better
POST: Hey all. This already sounds silly in my head but I'm feeling really down right now so it would be nice to get a little pick me up from someone I guess.
I spent the first two years of college dating a girl I really loved, and got dumped right as I thought things were going fantastically. Lost my friends since they were hers, and spend the rest of my second year trying to get it all back together, and I think I did by the end of it. Lots of new friends and people.
Now I'm in my third year, studying abroad in a different country, fell hard for a girl but got dumped because of her religion/the time limit year abroad placed on things. Got complicated because I lived with her and now I've lost a lot of friends because we all live together and well...dunno! Girls maybe like to side with girls?
It just feels like I'm horrible at this. Whether its relationships or just friendships in general. I feel like most people have amazing times studying abroad, but I just keep running from place to place pretending I'm loving it so it's not obvious how lonely I am. I regret leaving my home university, it's like I thought there would be some adventure or something here, but nothing really changed.
I feel like it shouldn't be this bad since I've been through it all before, but...I don't know. Just keep wondering if the loneliness will be over? I try hard to meet people, I join clubs, go out with different groups, but there's no one I can ever seem to get close to and click with. It's just all casual acquaintances I might see once a week if lucky and nothing more. Just feeling quite down.
TL;DR: | Life sucks now in terms of friendships and stuff. Feel like I'm wasting my year abroad. Feels like I'm going in circles in life. Anyone been through the same and can say it gets better? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Am I crazy? Or am I invisible?
POST: I know I haven't always been very out-going, but when I got to college, I really blossomed. I started to talk to people, joke around, go to mixers, etc. I know a lot of people, but it seems like I'm rather...forgettable. "Out of sight, out of mind" applies perfectly to me. No one ever calls me to do anything or even to talk. I rarely receive any kind of communication that is not a response to something I said. Even when I'm with people, I'm easily ignored or talked over. The people that say we're "such good friends" don't talk to me for weeks (sometimes months) on end. Every social thing I do comes from me having to instigate it--whether it's organizing a dinner or just talking to people.
I know that it's not quantity but quality that counts, but I feel like you have to hang out a lot to grow closer, right? I know that waiting for attention is stupid, so I started inviting myself to everything. I went 90% of the way in all my friendships all the time, but my friends never changed. So I just stopped trying...even now, I don't really get out much, and people really haven't noticed.
This doesn't bother me the majority of the time, but every few months it sinks back in and I get depressed for a few days. My birthday was last week, and no one said anything at all. I'm not sad that everyone didn't, just that the few people I'm kind of closer to didn't. That hit me hard. It makes me want to figure out what I did wrong...I've been told by someone that I'm "unapproachable," whatever that means.
I do know a lot of people and I have a lot of casual acquaintances. I guess it's just that deep down, I know I don't have anyone to share my secrets with, cry on, have a movie marathon with, etc.
Finally, my questions: am I really that forgettable? Am I just not trying hard enough? Or are people just lame?
TL;DR: | I'm pretty much ignored, people don't remember I'm alive if I'm not around. Is this my fault? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: 21 [M] and 21 [F]. I want to be able to get over my ex
POST: I thought the relationship meant something to both of us, but now she's moved onto another guy less than 2 months after we decided that the long distance would be too much. We recently met up and started to official date, however, I had to return to my country to begin studies. We tried to make it work, it lasted about a month long distance. But now I see her with a new guy, less than two months after we decided it was too much. This is difficult to me as we've known each other for a long time, and it seems like she has moved on so easily.
It's killing me, wherever I go and whatever I do day to day since I found out (about 2 weeks ago) I can't stop thinking about how they're talking to each other, how they hug and kiss. It's hugely demoralising for me and I feel deflated. I also have these chest pains whenever the jealousy sweeps over me, the psychological stress is difficult for me to deal with as I lay down thinking about the situation for hours at a time.
TL;DR: | Long distance relationship recently ended (different countries, would probably meet each other again in 3-4 years), known each other for a long time and now she's got a new bf less than 2 months after we stopped contact. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I'm dating my Buddies' younger sister.
POST: Not sure what details to include or if this is even the right spot for this, but yeah her it goes. Okay so I'm 27 and she's 21. I don't think that even really matters, but they might. So I've known these guys forever and I'm good friends with both of them. One is my age we'll call him Ryan and the other guy is 2 we'll call Michael. She said that there wasn't a point in saying anything initially because it wasn't serious but it's kind of getting more serious. She went out and had some drinks with Michael the other night and told him about us. He didn't flip out but he didn't really say much about it and wouldn't really look at her when she was telling him whatever that means. Anyway it was really awkward and difficult for her and since she told Michael she wants to tell Ryan. I don't want her to go through that again so I said I would talk to Ryan. The thing is I have no idea what to actually say. I mean I have no idea how he's gonna react, other than it won't be good. I'm not that concerned about how he'll react I just don't know exactly what to say... I've never been in this situation before and it's not like I'm just trying to bang her I really do care about her and see it going somewhere, but I don't know the best way to put it out there. like, "her dude, I'm seeing your sister... but I really care about her and blah blah blah" Is that even the best way to do it?
TL;DR: | I am dating my friends' sister (who is six years younger than me if that matters)and I don't know what the best way to tell her brother, my buddy for like the past 18 years. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [18/m] Confused by ex girlfriend (17/f) sending mixed messages.
POST: About 4 weeks ago my girlfriend of 2 years told me that we should take a break from seeing each other for a while. We did not talk for three weeks but when I came home for spring break last weekend I sent her a text asking how she was doing and she said we should go out for breakfast the next morning. We went and she repeatedly told me how much she missed me and that she didn't realize how much I meant to her. She kept apologizing for breaking up with me and telling me that she doesn't know what she was thinking. We saw a friend from high school who knew we broke up and she said "Do you think we should tell her?" which kind of confused me because i didn't know what it was that we should maybe tell her. Our relationship seemed on fire and fresh. She also told me that the guy I thought she was cheating on me with, which catalyzed our breakup, told her that he liked her and she told him that she only liked him as a friend. We hung out again a few days later and everything still seemed great. Over the past couple of days she has not texted me much and when we hung out lastnight and she ignored me and napped for most of the night and did not seem nearly as affectionate as the previous two times. Do you think after seeing me a few times she stopped missing me and realized she wanted to stay broken up? I'm really confused as to what I should do. Should I just move on and pretend that we are still broken up or ask her what she thinks of our relationship or just hangout with her a few more times and go with the flow. I don't really want to ask her about our relationship because i don't want to seem like I want to rush back into things. I also really want to work things out and date her again. Any advice is welcome.
TL;DR: | Ex-girlfriend was very affectionate when seeing each other a month after the break up, but after talking for a few days seems much less interested. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [48F] dislike the way my boyfriend [50M] talks about his kids [16M and 19F]
POST: I've been dating this guy (Greg) for a ~5 months now, and, all in all, things have been a blast. He's really sweet, funny & energetic and we have a lot in common, both interest-wise and in term of worldview. Both of us are divorced, however, I'm childless and he is sharing custody of his two kids. Greg and his ex split about 10 years ago and have a good co-parenting relationship. His son (Chase) is in high school and his daughter (Laura) is going to college out of state.
Greg and I have set dates we see each other, and we're taking it slow, so I haven't met either of the kids. However, he does talk about them, naturally. This is where the problem comes in: literally anytime he mentions his son, it's a complaint. Any time Laura is brought up, she is praised.
I know teenagers can be irritating and entitled, and a lot of the stuff he mentions does seem frustrating: Chase's soccer practice changed & he didn't tell Greg until the last minute, he does a shitty job of cleaning, he scratched the family car, etc. But it also seems totally normal and doesn't really seem to warrant Greg's bitter tone & labeling of Chase as "lazy" and "incompetent." Both of which he has said more than once.
Laura, on the other hand, is apparently a divine being and the sun shines out of her asshole. I hear about her academic accomplishments on a near weekly basis.
I have many friends with teenagers, and they don't usually talk about their kids this way. It makes me pretty uncomfortable to hear someone I don't know shit-talked on a fairly regular basis, especially since it's his son.
Is this a red flag? Do I bring up the fact that this makes me uncomfortable? Or is he just venting about living with a messy teenage boy?
TL;DR: | Have a new boyfriend, who seems to be great, except that he seems to massively favor one child over the other. Don't know if I should be concerned about this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My wife (35) wants a third kid, and I (36) in no way want one. How do we resolve this?
POST: My wife and I have been married years, and dating almost that long before hand. We have 2 kids, who are awesome. But exhausting. And expensive. But, mostly exhausting. My wife really wants a third, but I absolutely do not. My youngest kid is *just* starting to sleep, and I can't image going through that all again.
On top of that, having a third kid would most likely mean moving out of state (can't afford a larger house here) and getting a new car. We also currently both work, so time is generally at a premium.
When I tell her I don't want another kid, she tells me "I can't make that decision on my own". I literally can't imagine a circumstance where I will want another child. I am worried she will resent me if we don't.
So, people of reddit, how did you resolve this?
TL;DR: | My wife wants a third, and I would rather spend 2 years being kicked in the nuts. How do we resolve this so both of us are happy? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Girlfriend [24] caught me [28] masturbating in the bathroom.
POST: We had just gotten back from the gym and after she got out of the shower, I hopped in. I usually use the toilet and do my business before I hop in the shower and I like to have privacy by locking the door.
I get done doing my business when the moment strikes me. Now, my girlfriend is on her period and doesn't like having sex on her period, so I decided to masturbate before I got in the shower. I let the water run to warm up while I started masturbating.
Next thing you know, the door is being swung open fast and I am standing up in surprise to my girlfriend barging in. She says "really?" And I say something like, "why did you do that?"
She hands me the towel and walks out. Obviously the mood was killed after that so I showered real quick and got out of the bathroom. She had the door to the bedroom closed and all the lights off, and was falling asleep. I decided not to bother her and went to sleep as well.
I'm not sure how I should approach this. Should I just wait til she brings it up? Or should I bring it up? She thinks that it's ridiculous that people masturbate and doesn't see the point in it. People get horny and people masturbate. I'm a little upset that she invaded my privacy by unlocking the door.
TL;DR: | gf caught me masturbating in the bathroom by unlocking the door. Not sure how I should go about explaining it to her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I (19 M) ask out this girl (18? F) from my class without being too awkward? (Details inside)
POST: Its in my art class, I'm a sophomore in college and she's a freshman.
She's super duper cute, to put it plainly. She sits next to me, and is in my in-class work group. But a friend of hers is sitting on her other side, and they often talk on their own, as teenaged girls often seem to do.
I've never really asked girls out that much, and I tend to stumble over words and get embarrassed. Save me from infinite loneliness, reddit!
How can I get her alone to talk to her and try to get her number? I'm super awkward so... Yeah. How would I shift the conversation from Art History to getting her phone number?
Please excuse me if this is inappropriate to ask, I don't mean to sound like a pig or anything, I just am kind of fascinated with this girl, and I want to ask her out!
TL;DR: | I want to ask this girl in my art class out, and attempt to get her phone number. I'm very awkward and don't know how to get her alone to ask, or how to organically bring that up. Help! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do i(26m) handle neighbors below me complaining about me washing day and night?
POST: Hi, I live on the second floor of an apartment complex there are two other apartments on my floor as well. For some reason the people directly below me have twice in one day complained about me and my wife washing day and night and waking their newborn.
The guy came up here once and asked me to keep it down I said we weren't washing(had no idea what he meant yet) but we will try to be more quiet. I went to work that afternoon come back later that night and there's a note taped to my door.
The note said "we know you have a washer and a dryer upstairs please stop washing all day and night we have a newborn baby who just had surgery and it keeps waking him" Now I definitely don't have a washer and dryer up here and it's kind of pissing me off that I already told this dude once it wasn't me. Do I just knock on his door and explain myself or leave it be?
TL;DR: | neighbor below me thinks I own a washer and dryer and that I wash all night and day. I don't own one at all. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [23 F]. My boyfriend of 2 years [27 M] is asocial, pessimistic, introverted, depressive and obsesses over money. He's everything I'm not.
POST: We have been together two years this October. I love him with all of my heart and our relationship is working better than any I've been in before him. I really want this to work but need some serious help.
We're currently in a stressful part of our relationship. I'm studying full time in the final year of a tertiary degree, he moved to my city while I finish study and is currently working a dead end job.
On to the problems. Sometimes (these occasions are steadily increasing) I feel like we are totally different people. Where I love to go to parties, hang with friends, try to see the positive in everything, not worry about numbers, he is the polar opposite. He likes to stay home by himself, tends to be realist to the point of doom and gloom, and works out finances to the last cent, not able to spend a cent more than he needs to without careful deliberation.
Every time we fight, it's always about money or our social habits, and it's doing my head in. When I try to bring up his stingeyness, he'll always shut me down by mentioning our car he recently paid for (which I'm paying half of in three weeks or so).
Now I know that we both could make some changes. I could be more sensible, he could be a little more giving, I could stay at home more, etc. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but it truly feels like we just butt heads.
Reddit, I'm just so tired. I'm tired of never truly seeing eye to eye with him, and feeling like there's no compromise. I love him so much and don't want to lose him, and maybe it's just the situation we're in at the moment, but something needs to change.
Hopefully when the semester finishes and we move away things will look up for us. I'm desperately hoping for that.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend of two years is my polar opposite, and we find it hard to see eye to eye. Desperately need some tips and tools on how to improve our relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I could really use some sage advice on dealing with a college finance office.
POST: I am a wounded vet. I have two purple hearts and I am proud to have served my country. I walk with a cane and about 75% of the time I cannot drive due to my TBI. I am in the process of moving and the new school has told me that I missed the finance deadline by 4 days. Usually schools do a stop tuition while they process the paperwork and get the GI bill started. Now they want me to pay the tuition upfront, which wouldn't be a problem if I wasn't moving this month.
I have spoken with the head of the finance department and she was of no help to me. I was told I missed the deadline (which wasn't posted at all for the GI Bill) and if they helped me, they would have to help every vet that came in late. Basically they want me to pay money to access my GI Bill.
So what should I do? Should I suck it up and not goto school this quarter? Should I continue to call people up the phone tree? Should I call my state representative?
Thanks!
TL;DR: | College forcing me to pay tuition in order to access benefits, instead of putting a stop tuition note in my registration file. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27/F] with my boyfriend [29 M] of 3 months dumped me via text out of the blue and isn't communicating with me at all..
POST: So I met him on an online dating site. Things were going great, we never fought once in our relationship. I even met his whole family and went to his sister's wedding. Then all of a sudden he texts me saying that he's been thinking and he doesn't feel that spark anymore and to not try to text him or call him to work things out.
He eventually answered his phone and told me that he is no longer attracted to me or likes my personality. Even after he told me I mean a lot to him and he wants to be with me for a long time.
He also just made a new online dating profile after the second day he dumped me.
I just don't know how to cope with this...Everyone that I've talked to has said that is so weird. His whole family loved me..But I guess not him..I just need some advice, anything to help me move on and not let this happen again..Even though we were great together.
TL;DR: | My bf dumped me via text saying he lost his spark and doesn't want anything to do with me and made an online dating profile the next day. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How do I trust him again?
POST: My boyfriend and I are in our early 20's. We've been dating for 2 months now. A month ago I found out he had been sexting and being generally flirtatious with a girl he had just met. At that point I did not break up with him.
A few days ago I found out he had lied to me again. At that point I immediately broke up with him without giving it too much thought. Anyway, I got back together with him shortly after (my decision completely)
I want it to work out, Reddit, I really do. But I still can't shake the bad feelings of betrayal. Its really done a number on my self esteem. I'm very paranoid that anytime a girl flirts with him he will just do the same thing again. Girls will be inevitably flirting with him again because it happens often even when I'm there. When we go out to eat, waitresses openly flirt with him infront of me and then practically ignore me. Obviously he handles it well and doesn't reciprocate, I cant just help but be really bothered by it. And cant even imagine what its like when im NOT around. Basically im paranoid about his behaviour with other women.
Since getting back together, things have been normal. We have a good time together. But we haven't figured out how to fix the situation. Hes been really good about it because hes been saying he'll do whatever I ask of him. The problem is, I don't KNOW what he can do to earn my trust back, because obviously everything he says I have a hard time believing it. What do Reddit? What can we do to fix this?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend cheated on me (via sexting) and lied to me about other things. Now I'm super paranoid about everything but I want to make it work. How do I begin trusting him again? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Is it fair to hold someone accountable for their reaction to a situation that happened in error?
POST: It's oddly phrased, but here's an example.
Say your child's teacher called you. He said that your daughter hasn't turned in a homework assignment all semester and she's regularly been cutting class. Naturally you're angry (or upset, or disappointed, or sad, or whatever parental adjective you enjoy using to guilt trip children...ahem), so you decide to confront and perhaps punish your child. Of course she flips out and says or does something she shouldn't. Later on, the teacher calls back and apologizes. He said he had a mixup, and your daughter is actually an A student.
Now the initial issue isn't a problem, but you have to deal with the situation that followed. Do you apologize and carry on? Do you apologize for the initial mixup, but keep the consequences for the inappropriate exchange that followed?
This is just an example I feel clearly gets the situation across. How would you proceed?
On one hand, the exchange never should've happened. In addition, perhaps the false claims are what caused the reaction.
On the other hand, regardless of the fact that the person shouldn't have been put in this situation, they still reacted the way they did.
Thoughts?
TL;DR: | It appears gengengis both understood my question and was able to get it across better than I, so I suggest reading [his story.]( |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: As a guy, what if anything would be an appropriate way to help a female stranger who is so drunk as to be borderline unconscious?
POST: 26 M
So a few nights ago I was out with some friends when we see this girl walk out of a bar (not sure of her age, seemed around college-age). It was around 1-2 am and she was walking alone, being so intoxicated that she couldn't walk straight and or maintain her own balance (she seemed pretty close to complete unconsciousness). At her level of intoxication, I was seriously concerned something terrible might befall her, so when she fell and spilled all of her cards from her wallet, I helped her pick them up and offered to call an uber/taxi for her, but she seemed too drunk to really register what was going on or what I was saying. Not really sure how to help her or be sure she safely got to wherever she was going without risking having the whole situation blow up in my face later, we decided to just leave her be.
So I suppose what I am asking you all is this: Should I have handled the situation any differently than I did? As a guy is there anything I could have done or could do in the future to help a woman in this situation without putting myself at risk?
TL;DR: | Was out late from friends, see female stranger super drunk, want to know what would be the appropriate way to help her/handle the situation in the future |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 F] with my BF [29 M] doesn't respond to me all day sometimes
POST: This has become a slight recurring problem that it's starting to bother me a lot.
There will be days where I will chat with him over iMessage or Skype and he won't respond. Then I'll call him for some reason, and he won't answer. The next day, he'll call me or text me back with an excuse ("I was with friends/family. I was in a middle of video game.") I'll express that I wasn't exactly happy with him not responding to me all day but I'll usually distract myself enough during the day that I'm glad I got stuff done and I'm just kinda peeved but pretty much over it.
But lately it's been happening more and more often. Just this week it's happened twice. I'm planning on speaking with him tomorrow (if he'll answer me) about how much it actually bothers me that he won't respond to me.
I don't think he's doing anything shady. He's literally with me 6x a week, and I'll be at his place so much that I'm actually just going to my house to change or get clothes. But it's just super confusing that he doesn't respond to me when he's on his computer/on his phone so much when we're hanging out. I'm on my phone just as much so it's rare if I see a message from him I don't respond.
It just makes me feel bad. Why doesn't he want to talk to me? I understand wanting a little break when we're not hanging out but we've been together for 2+ years. Half the time I'm just asking a question or sending a stupid link from Reddit but he just won't text back. I get being busy, but you can't respond literally all day? This is what I don't understand.
TL;DR: | BF doesn't text or call back for a day sometimes. How do I phrase it to make it seem not accusatory? I've let him get away with this behavior before so it might seem like it's coming out of nowhere. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: [Help] Question about medical bills that aren't my responsibility.
POST: Okay, so here is the situation as I understand it, as I am asking for a friend of mine.
My friend decided it was time to buy a new motorcycle, and while looking at bikes he decided to have his credit pulled to see what he might qualify for. This is where the issue came up. On his credit report is an unpaid medical expense that the Army Reserves should have paid but hasn't. He was on duty at the time of the injury, and due to the nature of it, they took him to a civilian hospital for emergency treatment. The Army Reserve still haven't done anything to pay for it in over 6 months, in the mean time his credit is getting a huge black mark and effecting his score enough that the lowest interest rate he has been offered so far was 20.99%. He didn't have bad credit before, but he didn't have much, his current credit score is very low 6's with this hanging over his head.
Here is my question, what options does he have (short of paying the medical bill himself) in regards to either getting it off his report as it's not his financial responsibility? Can he report it with the credit agencies to have it removed? Any other ideas, please help.
TL;DR: | Friend was injured on duty with the Army Reserve, and now his credit is tanked because the Army hasn't paid the bill yet. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Efficient Retirement Planning
POST: Hi Fellow PFer's,
To start I'm a college graduate with little to no debt (25 yr/old male) and I make good money starting to save with a new company I started at a year ago. Just unlocked the ability to have a 401k.
I have a question that has gone unanswered for too long so I thought I would ask it here. My company runs a 401k which does not match, and instead puts nice profit sharing deposits directly into the program. I'm capable of saving approximately $20,000 a year based on my current spending and approximated future costs (car, house, women, etc). What I do with this money is up in the air. Since my company doesn't match, there is no obvious incentive to invest in a 401k with my company. I can do anything I want with this 20k in terms of investing. Currently I make under the maximum for starting a Roth IRA. I believe that number is around 120,000. So as an example, would a good retirement plan be that I max out my Roth IRA contribution every year (5,500) and send about $100 of my paycheck (Paid weekly) to my 401k? This way I would be saving about $6,760 into my 401k (before taxes of course) and $5,500 into a Roth IRA. $12,260 total. Not bad right? The rest I could put into a low risk money market or CD as a way to increase liquid assets.
OR should I be putting as much as possible into a 401k until I can max out my contribution (about 18,000/yr) and then put cash into a Roth IRA?
TL;DR: | Which retirement option pays out best dollar for dollar for a 25 year old who plans to start pulling it out when I'm 70: Roth IRA or 401k. Thanks |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Being called a liar by some girls at my small college. Help?
POST: We're all F(19 or 20). We've been friends for about a year.
I made a mistake when talking to a friend about a dress I'm renting for a party, and confused the 2k one for a less expensive one and mixed up the designers. She went after me last night, calling me a liar and saying I was doing it on purpose. Then I was asking her roommate for advice on an unrelated issue today, and she called me a liar about something else- my family having money, which is true. Now I just feel like I'm getting a reputation for something I am not, and I hate it. My college is very small and word gets around quickly. These two girls were good friends of mine and now none of my friends will speak to me. Worst is if the word gets back to my SO (he attends a different college) he will be upset by it as well, especially as he has a deep hatred for liars. I don't know what to do.
The two girls won't let me defend myself and no one will talk to me. I'm extremely upset by this and I need to fix it but I don't know how.
TL;DR: | Two friends are calling me liars for things that I am not lying about, it is getting around our small college and I don't want this reputation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by knocking out all the power in the neighborhood.
POST: I'm not much of a story teller, so I'll just tell you what happened.
Sooo, I'm a truck driver and I was hauling gravel today. We are unloading on a road that they are rebuilding in an older area of my city. I was told to go unload in a different spot than usual so I went and backed down the road 500m to where they wanted the gravel.
I unloaded the pup, and then the truck, but as the box was lowering and I started to pull forward I heard someone honking frantically.
It was already too late.
I brought down a power line that I didn't realize was there.
I thought I was going to die, because this happened to a guy I know a while back and all the windows exploded out of his truck. (That was likely because he got out of his truck, it happened as soon as his foot touched the ground).
I stayed in my truck and waited for one of the crew guys, he called the electric company and they sent some people out.
Meanwhile the whole neighbourhood gathered around to stare and complain.
When the power guys showed up, they came and told me that luckily the only line that got tangled on my truck was a phone line, so I was safe.
But I still messed up the power.
I'm looking forward to the inevitable safety meeting on Monday.
TL;DR: | brought down what I thought was a power line with my truck, thought I was going to die. Turned it to just be a phone line, but still took out the power to the area. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28 F] Getting Friendzoned for the first time and it sucks
POST: We've been friend for the last year; we hung out in the same group of friends and pretty much see each other every other week. I notice since the beginning he was interested, but I ignored it because I didn't want to get into a relationship. In last few months, I started to develop feeling for him as we got closer. I ask him recently where he wants to go with this and he said, "As I get to know you better, I know this is not going to work out, so it better off that we're just friend" This really sucks, and I feel horrible that there something wrong with my personality that he can't see us being in a relationship.
TL;DR: | Okay I feel stupid at this point, did I misread everything? Please help me to move on and keep the friendship |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] found out that my dad[51M] is cheating on my mother [49F] and has always cheated, even before marriage, mom doesn't have a clue.
POST: I found out that my dad was at a certain place with another woman out of coincidence. He didn't see me at anytime.
I was with my GF when I found out, I then managed to get inside the place and found out the shower was wet and towels where used.
I didn't know what to do, so I decided to meet the next day with my dad and tell him what I saw. At first he denied it, but after I explained the details he accepted it.
He told me that he is not happy with my mother, that my mother gives all her attention to me and my brothers that they barely have sex and what shocked me the most, he has been cheating on my mother with multiple different women even before they got married.
He says he is not in love with some other women nor anything, that its just physical. He also said that pretty much the only reason he is still with my mother is because of my little brother.
My dad asked me if anyone else knew, and I told him that my GF, he also said that he doesn't want my mother to know because its going to hurt her, that's when I told him that he is the one who is hurting her, not the person telling her.
My GF kept telling me to do something about it and tell my mother, that if I don't its because I'm ok with my father's behavior (Which I'm not) but I don't know if I can tell her. I don't want to be the one who breaks the whole family apart, makes my mother go in pain and change the view my brothers have of my father. I know they are never going to see him the same way.
What do I do? I've been carrying this for months and I don't know what to do anymore.
TL;DR: | Dad has been cheating on mom for all their relationship. I've already talked to my dad about it, what to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M 20] am going to break up with my gf [19]. But this is the first time Im doing this and need some advice.
POST: I have been dating this girl for almost two years now. But I think it's time for a break up. We haven't fought or anything, but I just no longer feel those emotions for her I did when we first started to date.
We started to date the last week of my senior year in high school; she was a junior at the time. The majority of our relationship revolved around my freshmen year at college and her senior year. To say the least, in my eyes it seemed like a healthy if not, very good, relationship. She entered college last fall but at a different university. We're both really busy, especially me with my work, school, and other activities, so we don't get to see each other often. However, I made a lot of effort in calling her, seeing her, etc.
Lately however, we haven't been talking much and I feel my love for her declining. I still care a lot for her which is why I want to initiate the break up. I feel like she knows it's coming too.
TL;DR: | I am trying to break up with my gf of 2 years but this is my first time initiating a break up. How do I do it and what can I expect? This was also a good relationship without any abusive troubles. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [25F] stop myself from going crazy over my boyfriend [25M] of five years not proposing?
POST: I have been with my boyfriend for a little over five years now. We have lived together for four years. We have a dog together that we both adore. He always talks about our future in a positive light - where we should live after he graduates, what kind of cars we should have, how many kids we would have, how he wants our kids to have one of our dog's puppies/grand-puppies... whatever. Not in a forced way, more like "Oh Tesla is coming out with a $35,000 car in a couple years, we can buy you that one and I'll get a Subaru."
His parents love me and my parents love him. Our parents will even hang out together without us.
All that to say, he has been very clear that he will not propose before he turns 30, and I'm losing my mind. I have always wanted to have children before I turn 30, and I somewhat recently found out that I have a condition that means pregnancy might take a bit of time. There is absolutely no chance whatsoever of having children before marriage.
Everyone around me is getting married or engaged, and now when it shows up on facebook I start to cry, which I know is completely irrational.
I also am completely against ultimatums.
I can feel myself growing increasingly resentful and I know that I've been a huge bitch unintentionally because the resentment just boiled over.
What can I do to stop myself from losing my mind?
TL;DR: | I want to get married, my boyfriend wants to wait another 5 years, how do I stop myself from losing my mind in the mean time? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Blew possible chance with a really cute girl, weird to ask my friend who she was or let it go? (22m/f)
POST: There was a party the other night. I had a few beers and went around giving people stickers from an old sheet of Christmas stickers-- giving everyone titles and swearing them in to this stupid made up club for fun.
I walk by these two girls and say hi. They ask for stickers and I swear them in and everything. Then the one really cute one says "This is really weird. You are really weird, but weird in a way that you seem incredibly cute. Can I kiss you now that I am in the club?"
So I say sure and she give a peck of a kiss and we laugh, then I look at her friend standing there awkwardly and after meeting the friend, I walk away and say that I'll see you around.
A friend of mine was talking to them earlier, would it be weird to ask if she knows who they were (I know her name was Sarah)? If so, then what?
Or should I completely forget it and move on?
TL;DR: | Girl seemed in to me and I just left. Weird to ask my friend who she was and about contacting her or should I just forget it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it a good idea to move in with my [22f] bf [23m]? Advise from people who have done the same would be good!
POST: Ok so I've been with my bf for almost three years. I currently live with my parents and in the next few months my parents will be moving 2+ hours away. I won't be moving with them as I work near the area we currently live in and my bf is here. I'm not too sure what my living arrangements will be yet, but my bf has offered countless time for me to live with him.
Now that would be fine and dandy if he lived in his own place. But he lives with his parents and two siblings. His room is quite big so it's not that bad, but I'm not sure I feel comfortable living with his family. Don't get me wrong, they're a great family and we get along well, but I wouldn't want to put the burden on them of me living there. If I did I would be sure to pay my way. I'm also nervous of how my relationship would go living with him there. I feel like if I ever needed to be by myself it would be hard. I wouldn't really have a place to escape. If that ever need be.
My other option would be renting a room in someone else's house. I have a few friends from work who wouldn't mind and have spare rooms.
So I was just wondering if anyone has been in a situation where they moved in to their partners family's home? How did it go?
TL;DR: | parents moving far away and bf offered for me to live with him in his family's home. Good idea or nah? Any advise welcome. Thank you! |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by getting drunk and punching my Haemophilic friend
POST: This pretty bad fuck up happened last night.
My friend, during half term, decided to have a party at his house and I, was invited. The party was really good, and I had the *Brilliant* idea of saying we should play the Ring of Fire (a drinking game). Unfortunately for me I was the one who had to down most of my drinks and, expectedly, got quite smashed.
I knew that it was time to go home, and so went up to my friend to say thanks and bid him farewell.
Unfortunately for him, he was going to get something more than a word of thanks. My fist. So when I catched up to him I said "thanks!" and, without reason, punch him on the arm.
This wouldn't be so bad, if it wasn't for the fact that my friend is a haemophiliac (a genetic disorder which stops blood from clotting). A split second after that, I knew that I done fucked up. It was almost certain that my friend got a bruise and had to be duly rushed off to hospital to stop the internal bleeding. I just sorta stood there, looking like some sort of dumbass (which I was).
It's now mid-afternoon and I'm still tired (I had to stay up until 2am to make sure his parents woke up and got him to the hospital), I haven't heard a word from him and I think he hates me so yeah.
I fucked up.
TL;DR: | Got drunk from a drinking game and punched my Haemophilic friend, now he's in hospital from a bruise. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (28f) with my bf of 6mths (30m) found blonde hair on his Privates. Is he cheating?
POST: Just started seeing this guy. We don't live in the same area, long distance dating. He calls, texts messages all the time and I do too and I care about him a lot. He's heavy on the trust thing. Says things like we gotta have trust without it we have nothing blah de blah. He has tons of female friends when I say tons I mean tons. his excuse, he gets along better with women. Even his best friend (who I still haven't met) is female. (Pretty sure they live in the same area) All these things I can put up with even though it makes me uncomfortable.
Anyway i went over to his and we're hanging out... Things get rather heated and frisky... I pull down his boxers and low and behold I find a long blond hair wrapped around his dick. My hair's black, his is black as well. His excuse he has roommates (both male and dark haired) they share a washing machine. Viola. His other excuse he visited his mom and sister that day. Maybe a toilet seat thing I dunno. I want to trust him but it's freaking me out. I don't know what to think.
Reddit am I over reacting? Or is something suspicious going on here? Guys how common is it for random hair to end up on your privates? I wanna give him the benefit of the doubt here, but I feel as though I'm shooting myself in the foot, arm and face.. Is this one mighty red flag I'm foolishly overlooking?? Thanks for the advice.
TL;DR: | Dating guy, long distance, found hair on his dick that is blonde luxurious and isn't mine. Is he cheating? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Am I over reacting if I get mad if my girlfriend from a long distance is asked if she's still a Virgin?
POST: Alright so my girlfriend [18] goes to this sailing race. She recently acquainted a guy that was pretty lonely over there. She didn't really talk to him or anything.
When she went back home, she found out that the guy added her friend and asked about my girlfriend. So he found her on Facebook, and Instagram and added her. He said that he wanted to become friends with her, so that when they go back sailing (tomorrow) he won't be lonely and he'll know her.
The thing is, she told me how one night when they were texting, he asked her if she had a boyfriend, and if she's a Virgin. (She said yes to both) and how he said how he doesn't believe how a beautiful girl like her would still be a Virgin. She laughed and said that he shouldn't ask those kinds of questions. I don't know what happened next because she really didn't tell me.
The thing I am a bit irritated about, is that why would she even answer the Virgin part? Am I in the right to be irritated? Or am I in the wrong?
P.s I haven't been able to do any sexual things to her because of the long distance thing. :/ it's hard.
TL;DR: | guy ask my girlfriend if she's a Virgin. She answers yes and I'm irratated that she even answered it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (f18) Dad (m51) is having a baby with his wife (f38) and I'm really struggling.
POST: Basically my dad and I have always been really close (bonded over music and our generally laid back personality).
Last year I found out that he and his wife were trying to have a baby; now, she has lupus so we aways figured it was a long shot. Either way, I supported them because all I want is for him to be happy.
A little less than a week ago while I was home for break I found an ultrasound picture in the house and confronted him about it...Yes, she is pregnant.
He had no plans to tell me and then asked me not to tell my siblings. I felt I was in an unfair position so I told him he had to tell them or I would. I ended up telling my sister (20) and then he sent me a really mean text saying that he thought he could trust me (except he didn't because I found the picture by mistake)
In any case, I am not mad at them but I feel completely heartbroken and I don't know how to handle our relationship now, especially knowing I won't be his priority anymore. What should I do?
TL;DR: | My dad is having a baby and, while I want him to be happy, it is completely breaking my heart. Is there anyway to make it hurt less? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Apartment Complex is Swindling its Residents, Is it Within the Residents' Rights to Write Letters to Each Tenant?
POST: Ok here's the story,
We live in a college town and live in student apartments. We have happily lived in our apartment for a couple years now without a single issue with management.
Last week, management sent out a letter stating they will be providing new furniture to residents who pay a $20 monthly fee (note this comes out to $960 a year for each four-bedroom apartment). Other apartment complexes in the town have been replacing their furniture in the past year or two without charging residents, and we think this is absolutely preposterous.
Will there be ramifications if we write a letter outlining how the apartment complex is screwing its residents over and put a copy of the letter on every single door? Does the apartment complex have any sort of legal right to keep us from doing this?
TL;DR: | Apartment complex is screwing over its residents - residents (myself and roomates) want to write a letter and post it on every resident's door. Are there possible ramifications or legal empowerment that the apartment complex has over us? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [17,m] am not sure if I want to stay in this relationship with my girlfriend (16,f)
POST: Well, I [17/m] am in a almost two year relationship with my girlfriend (16,f) but I came to a point where I'm not sure if I want this anymore.
It started around two months ago when we hung out with a few friends of her. Basically a guy who I barely know said that she has clearly the control of our relationship (as a joke) but then I realised that it's exactly like that. She try's to keep me away from my best friends, friends I've known for years and through her I barely keep contact with them, mainly through school, a place where she has no control "over me".
From my point of view it seems that she's "jealously possessive" about me. She always has been jealous but it decreased from the first months we were together but this jealousy never really left. I'm not the kind of person who likes it when someone trys to supervise me. I've tried to speak with her about this situation two days ago and she suddenly used some very unkind words that hurt me a lot.
I'm her third "boyfriend" (she hasn't serious relationships before me; they never worked out quite well because she "fled from problems") and she's my first girlfriend. We've experienced a lot together (been on vacation, concerts etc.) and I'm not sure if it's right to throw all that away. I love her (and she loves me) but I think I don't want to stay in this relationship anymore because of this "possessive-thing". I've asked my two best friends about this and all they said was that I should wait or should talk to her, but I waited long enough and nothing really changed. She always says that she would be nothing without me and that she needs me, which isn't really helpful to make a decision.
I wouldn't consider myself "self-confident" but I'm saying if anything's wrong or isn't the way that it should be.
Any advices from you guys?
TL;DR: | I'm [17,m] not sure if breaking up with my girlfriend (16,f) is the right choice or not. (Relationship of nearly 2 years) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 F] with my crush [20 M] is giving me mixed signals. What do I do, reddit?
POST: So, a friend of mine that I've known since coming to college last semester has started acting really strange towards me. I don't mean to play the whole he said/she said thing, but the mutual friends that we have had been telling me things that he'd said about me recently, and he sounded extremely interested. I have feelings for him so this was great news to me.
We usually go out together with a group of people, we were under the influence if that makes any difference. We came back to our friend's house and slept in the extra bedroom together. We made out for a while and he tried to go farther, I said we shouldn't because I'm uncomfortable with sleeping with people I could potentially see myself dating. He was incredibly understanding and we continued to make out for a while. He was very sweet and rubbed my back and kissed my forehead, it was pretty awesome :)
Afterwards we texted for a little the next night, and that was it. Which I'm fine with, I'm not a huge texter nor am I a very clingy person.
Whenever I see him now besides fleeting eye contact, he doesn't really acknowledge my existence. This past weekend he told a mutual friend of mine that he couldn't see anything serious coming out of it, but he continues to text me when I know that he's been out drinking.
I know he had a girlfriend that broke his heart last semester, and I'm totally fine if he isn't ready for a relationship because of that, I have my own issues and I'm not sure either. But I could definitely see us having a future someday, we have a lot in common and he's a great guy.
I'm just trying to figure out his thought process. Should I continue to pursue him or should I just move on?
TL;DR: | Guy I have a big crush on will sometimes act like he's interested and sometimes he won't, don't know how to feel about the mixed signals. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [22/F] and I [22/M] are trying to start college this year.....
POST: My girlfriend and I recently started talking about trying to get back into school, we both graduated together and started working instead of going back to school. Now, we have recently started to discuss about going back to school and she made it very clear that she wouldn't want to try and attend the same college together. I was a little bothered by that and wanted to get some advice on if I should be ok with the fact that she doesn't want to attend the same college. Oh and her only reason was that I would be a distraction if we attended the same school.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend and I want to start college, Girlfriend does not want to attend the same college, Should I be bothered by that? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Is Location a Factor in a Lawsuit (MI/CO)
POST: Someone owes me a substantial amount of money and has agreed to pay the full amount. My problem is that I am moving out to Colorado from Michigan in the coming months. I really don't trust him to pay me once I move and have given filing suit a fair amount of thought. I am beginning to run out of time to do so and definitely would not like to deal with a legal battle while trying to move out of state at the same time. My question is do I need to file suit in MI, where the dispute took place, or can I do so once I move to CO?
TL;DR: | Guy owes me money. Can I file suit in CO where I am moving or do I need to file in MI where dispute took place? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Mom [52] called me [20 F] a whore after finding out I got a hotel room with a guy
POST: So first of let me start by saying that my mother has grown to be a devoted Catholic with age, and your typical Mexican mother. I on the otherhand am not particularly religious, and really liberal compared to her.
I started talking seriously with a guy [21] who lives in another state and have started a long distance relationship after a month. He came down for the weekend to visit me and we both payed half for a hotel room so we could have some alone time. I told my mom I would be at my friend's and she went looking for me at said friend's house that night. I came home and lied to her about where i really was.
Two days later after he leaves, she finds the hotel receipt in my car (meaning she went around snooping in my car). She confronted me about it and started yelling and crying. She called me a whore, said I was prostituting my body, and other hurtful things. I told her that she doesn't understand my relationship with this guy and cut me off saying that she didn't care and that I failed her.
Because of this me and my boyfriend are stressed out, it's starting to affect our relationship. We both are scared this incident will damage our future together. I am at a lose here on how to fix this situation. What should I do to fix the relationship with my mom and how can I not to let it hurt my relationship with my boyfriend?
TL;DR: | Conservative Catholic mother found out I practically paid for a hotel room to have sex with my long distance boyfriend whom she didnt know existed, called me a whore. Where do I go from here to fix my relationship with my boyfriend and her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Long distance relationship advice?
POST: I [21M] met a girl [20] at a college political conference in Washington DC back in early March. We hit it off pretty much from the get-go and we hooked up on and off throughout the weekend. We talked and we liked each other and found that we had similar personalities and interests. I loved how motivated she was to take charge in her career and work hard to achieve her goals. That was a real turn on.
I am from New Jersey so I went back to school after the conference and she is from Florida so she went back to school after the conference as well. I had spring break two weeks after that so I was in Florida and she came to visit me for a night. Again, we hit it off and I couldn't help but like her more and more. Since being apart, we've continued conversation and we've expressed mutual interest in being together once done with school. Being so far apart has made it hard to envision that happening though. Recently she seems to be upset that we can't be together and has distanced herself from me by not answering calls or texts very frequently.
It has upset me because I genuinely like this girl. I know it seems ridiculous considering the brief time we've spent together but sometimes you just know! And I know that feeling is mutual. The bottom line here is I'm asking what should I do now? I want to talk to her all the time but it just seems pointless if we only will get to see each other every few months. I'm not sure how to continue the situation with her. Any help or insight into long distance relationships is greatly appreciated!
TL;DR: | met a girl on trip that i fell for and we live very far away, want to know how i should continue the situation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: My pup is dramatically losing weight after switching food, is this a normal experience?
POST: Before you suggest to take her to the vet, we have a vet appointment over the weekend, I just wanted to know if anyone has experienced this before and if I should be worried or if anyone has suggestions.
My 1.5 year old female German Shepherd is dramatically losing weight after switching food. Current known intolerance's: Grain and (now) Chicken
The original food was Nature's Variety Instinct: chicken (then beef) and I have recently switched to Wellness Core: Ocean Formula. Why the change? She recently developed an intolerance to chicken, and the next step up was beef, which she didn't like, rabbit formula, didn't like either or the salmon. I switched to the Wellness Core: Ocean formula because that seemed like the best decision and she loves it. I feed her the recommended amount with an extra 1/2 cup because of how usually active she is.
After switching food, she has been extremely tired and sleeps most of the day and has lost about 12lbs now after a month on new food. She's my running partner and she has started to refuse to go on runs as well as doesn't seem interested in doing her agility training (which she loves to do). Her stool is the same, in fact there's a major improvement. She is on heartworm/flea prevention Trifyxsis and has been for almost 6 months.
The vet told me previous during our last check up her perfect weight was where she was at (68lbs) and now she's at 56lbs, her ribs are starting to show. Usually I could only see like the outline of her entire ribcage, but now I'm seeing an outline for each rib, if that makes sense.
Thank you for any suggestions or experiences you have had when switching foods and if you simply resolved it by feeding them more.
TL;DR: | Dog lost approx 12lbs within a month of switching to new dog food. She has become lazy and tired. Seeing vet this weekend for advice/ a check up. Just curious if this is slightly normal or something to that extent. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17 M] have a crush on a girl [15 F] who I see in school, but do not talk too much to.
POST: I have known this girl for quite a while (3 years in fact) but never got to know her very well because of our age and grade difference. I knew her two older brothers who I am good friends with, this is how we first met and talked. Those conversations a few years ago were awkward (because of my own shyness back then), and through knowing her brothers I got to know her a little bit more over time (i.e. movie nights at there house, parties, etc.).
I haven't had a conversation with her in a year due to the aforementioned grade difference and her brothers are now at college. I do get to say 'hi' and 'how on you are' to her once in blue moon if we bump into each other in the hallways on the way to our classes. I feel as though it will be awkward to try to start a relationship after not having a real conversation in a while.
TL;DR: | I have known my crush for a while; I feel as though it would be awkward if I were to ask her on a date after not talking to her for a year. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [27F] with my spouse [34M] of seven years are unsure about children in MY late 30's or early 40's. Do you think that having children that late in life if your husband is 7 years older than you is a bad idea?
POST: We have not had children yet and I am feeling pressured and rushed/hurried. I'm not quite sure why as no one is really around urging us to do so. I'm not even sure we want them but I think that comes from not quite being ready yet. Every time we discuss children we end up saying, "Maybe later, but not right now." I'm okay with that, but I'm wondering when too late would be.
Are there any of you out there that have had children that late in life or know of anyone that have had children much later? Can you speak on your own or their experiences? What was it like? Regrets? Issues?
I'm just a little worried, I suppose...
TL;DR: | My husband seems to be against the idea of having kids that late in his life, but I have so many things I want to do and finish. Is there a bright side to this? Can there be a compromised reached between us? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hit a small bump in my LDR. What sexy, fun things can you suggest to my boyfriend to do over our webcam chats?
POST: I'm in a LDR with my boyfriend of 4 years. We're both 22. Although we have great sexual chemistry when together, sometimes the time between our visits is drawn out, and I start to get a little bored of the same thing he does every time we go to the webcam.
Usually he just jerks it, and will slow down or show me a close-up of everything if I ask. I've asked him to just be sexy as himself and do what he thinks I'd like to see, but he has a really tough time with this for some reason. I think it has something to do with him feeling self-concious as a male and not knowing what acting "sexy" should be like?
Honestly, I'm not even sure what specific techniques I can tell him to use. I've asked him about a few things (stripping, touching himself in different ways) but he never seems to get enough instruction from what I tell him. What can I say, I guess I suck at being creative outside my own being.
Have any of you redditors out there been in a similar situation? What did you or your male SO start doing to turn up the heat in your LDR? I'd love to hear suggestions, ideas, and personal stories.
TL;DR: | The only thing missing in my LDR is sexy variety in what my boyfriend does over the webcam. What do you do specifically to turn on your SO through pictures and video? Any suggestions? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm (M/ 21) having trouble regarding what to do with my GF (20)
POST: Since the beginning of our current 6 month relationship, she has made me to look like the bad person in our relationships. That I do this wrong, I do that wrong. It got to the point where I "screwed" up so much, she broke up 2 Sundays ago. She wanted to work things out 2 days later on Tuesday.
As time went on, I felt that all along, she has a guilty conscience and blamed me because she felt bad. Turns out, the night we broke up, she slept with someone. As well as next day. She swears she feels bad and loves me. Idk what to do. P.S. I'm leaving for the Army in 3 months. Hoo-ah.
TL;DR: | GF broke up with me because I was a bad bf apparently, slept with someone else the same day and following day of our breakup. Idk what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: In a bit of a dilemma... About a girl (As per usual)
POST: Okay, so basically, I'm just finishing school, and through the last 5 years of it, I've had an on and off crush on this one girl. I mean, I dated other people, but only because I was sure she didn't feel the same way.. Mostly. But in the last couple of months, she has been flirting with me heaps, it's really noticeable and I would probably even have a chance.
Here comes the but-
Another one of my good friends recently confessed to me that he also has a crush on her (He doesn't know that I do as well though)
And he's asked me to help him out with that, because he knows I'm really close with her.
Obviously I don't want to sabotage him or anything, but I get this awful feeling whenever I talk him up to her, because I know it's just hurting myself..
TL;DR: | My friend and I like the same girl, he doesn't know it and I agreed to help him but it's harder than I thought. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20]cannot trust my girlfriend[21] of over a year. Ive grown to hate my own relationship,
POST: So basically since I dont want to give a wall of text so I might be vauge, and if you need clarification feel free to ask (I will try to respond as timely as possible). SOOO me and my gf started seeing each other as friends with benefits and it was casual I knew she had gotten around a little, but hey, its college, then after I while I wanted a relationship (because honestly I was treating her like a girlfriend anyways) why not put a title it?
well after she reluctantly agreed to a real title of girlfriend, so after about 3 months of dating I found why she was so reluctant, she was still talking to her ex EVERYDAY. and she also then told me she had HPV, even more awesome, I stuck it out with her because I was struggling with depression due to college, not her, and I didnt see any one sleeping with me ever again.
So i made her make a decision, it was either me or him. She chose him, I went on with my life, then she found me at a party two weeks after, we were mature, went on our ways, then she texted me saying how much she missed me the next day, told me she would stop talking to him. she did stop talking to him, then a month later she started talking to him again (I literally had to check her phone), then stopped for a little, started again, stop start, stop start, lie lie lie lie lie lie lie,
anyways, basically here were are now, she hasn't talked to him in OVER 3 months now, she actually hates him now, like honestly I think she hates him now (mainly because after she blocked him on everything, he found her reddit page and messaged her, where she found out that he had made memes about her, shows of how little substance that douche is) anyways, she doesnt like him, however, i still think she is lying ALL THE TIME, like about anything. reddit, how do I fix this, I cant seem to leave her, or im just too scared
TL;DR: | Gf lied about talking to ex, gave me an std, hurt me, and now that its over (Im pretty sure) I still cant get over the past. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by ruining a long-time friendship by accident
POST: This happened last month and I still can't get over it.Me and my friend are close to each other for nearly 30 years(Im 34 and he is 35 right now).We lived in the same apartment and we went to same schools, even university.We were living in the same place till last week as well.One day I was coming from work and It was 10 PM because I was just not able to finish my work. It is pretty dark and our street lights weren't working for 3 days.I was really tired so I didn't pay much attention to the road.Right I was about to park, his 6 year old kid who was playing on the road jumped right in front of my car.I suddenly panicked and accidentally accelerated even more which resulted his kid to fly 5-6 meters ahead.I took him to the hospital with his family as quick as possible but in the end it was nothing serious.
But the real problem started next day.First, he started to act a bit cold to me.Later on, when I come to his house, he literally send his kid to his own room and didn't let me see him because he needed to sleep at 1 PM for some reason. I eventually stopped coming to his house.It was like I hit his child on purpose when I clearly didn't. This went on and on until they moved from this city because he found a really god job which is straight up a lie since later I learned from his friends that he was looking for a job after he moved there.Now I can't even communicate with him since he doesn't answer any of my calls or messages.
TL;DR: | I hit my long-time friend's child with a car by accident, he started to don't let me even see his child and eventually he moved from here and now I can't even communicate. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by trying to light a cigarette
POST: I was at a party out at a friend's house. Decent sized event; bonfire, beer pong, barbecue, heavy drinking; the type of thing I'd typically avoid like the plague but a buddy of mine and his girlfriend really want to go so I do.
I only knew the friend and the couple that I rode with, and I'm designated driver, so naturally I'm bored as shit and not talking to anyone. I begin to pretty much chain-smoke, as I am wont to do in situations of extreme boredom The male of the couple has had a couple of mixed drinks so he's a wee bit toasted and we get to chitty chatting.
I pull out another cigarette to light. He asks for one, which I obligingly give to him. He then gets a brilliant idea. He dares me to try and light my cigarette in the campfire. Remember at this point, that I am completely sober and my friend is the drunk one.
I figure it'll add some excitement to this party if I give it a shot, so I pop the cigarette into my mouth and begin to bend over the fire. I lean in closer and closer inching my way towards it, until at the last second I remember that my hair is longer than I usually keep it. I flinch back and pull my hair back and begin to lean in once more.
As I finally get close enough to the fire to light my cigarette, a plume of fire bursts up and catches me right in the face. Out of panic, I let go of my hair which drops into the fire and catches along with my now burnt eyebrows and eyelashes. I stand straight up realizing I'm on fire. All those years of schools teaching you "Stop, Drop and Roll" are nice, but they don't really do shit for you when you're actually on fire.
I take off running, thinking maybe if I run fast enough it'll blow the fire out... It doesn't. I finally catch eye of a small kiddie pool that my friend has set up and throw myself into it face first. The fire is now out. Worst part of all, my face caught but my cigarette didn't so I didn't even succeed in the dare. We left the party shortly thereafter
TL;DR: | I lit my face on fire trying to light a cigarette in a campfire and put it out in a kiddy pool. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [29/M] feel neglected/needy since moving in with my girlfriend [28/F] of 4 years
POST: My girlfriend and I moved in together earlier this year and since then I feel like I've become really needy/insecure, but also like I'm not an important priority in her life.
She has a job she loves where all her coworkers are her friends, and she goes out with them at least once a week. She also travels quite a lot with work. I don't have such a good relationship with my coworkers, and most of my non-work friends are her friends too. I'm quite a homebody and I only like going out once a week or so.
Since we've moved in I've felt like she isn't interested in spending time with me. I'm the sort of person who doesn't really like doing anything on my own whereas she does like time alone, so weekends are often quite frustrating: I'd like us to hang out together around the apartment together while she wants to read alone etc. We always do things in the weekend evenings but that doesn't seem like enough, especially if we've only spent time together for one evening during the week.
I have two problems, which are connected. When she's out with her coworker friends I feel quite jealous and paranoid (even though intellectually I don't think there's anything to worry about). And in general I feel like she doesn't like spending time with me as much as I do with her, and it's making me feel bad. It feels like we only spend 2-3 evenings together a week and rarely do much together during the weekend days.
I've tried to talk about this to her before but it's hard not to come over as needy and insecure, which I don't want to do, and I don't even know if I'm in the right or if I have unrealistic or unfair expectations. She isn't the best person at following through on something when we've talked about it so I feel like I end up saying the same thing again and again.
TL;DR: | I've started feeling insecure and unimportant to my girlfriend and I don't know how to talk about it without sounding whiny/needy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I have a GF who simply will not trust me whatever I do... how can I change this?
POST: My GF and I have been together for 6 years and every time I work late or want to just go out with my buddies she flips out. I feel totally smothered by her demanding questions every time I do anything outside of work or home. She's bi-polar and sometimes goes off her meds. When this happens she gets a little depressed and all sorts of scenarios run through her head. She thinks I'm giving up or looking for a way out of the relationship, that I'm letting her down somehow, orsecretly dating someone else with the intention of leaving her one day. There are other times she thinks I'm deliberately hurting her and no matter what I say she never believes me.
What would you do?
TL;DR: | I want my GF to know that I'm never gonna give her up, let her down, run around and desert her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M/] started dating [18/F]. Find out her mom is the Vice Dean of my department at my university. How important is it to be wary for myself?
POST: About a month ago I started dating a new girl. Two dates in or so I discover that her mother is the Vice Dean of the College of Science at my university, where I happen to be studying physics.
It wasn't until a day or two ago that I actually realized the potential implications if my relationship with her daughter were to go extremely south.
So now my fear is that in the event of a messy break up, her mother might take it upon herself to smear my name in my department and prevent me from getting into grad school or such.
Obviously there are measures I can take to react to that, but who knows how effective they may be.
Am I being paranoid? Is it something to discuss with the daughter? Would it be better for me to break things off now before it gets very serious?
TL;DR: | Started dating a girl. Her mother has a position of power in my education that could affect my future. Not sure how to approach this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by giving my # to a guy on Grindr
POST: Ok, so this happened like half an hour ago. Basically, would never date a man, but I like to have a little fun now and then. Thus, Grindr. I messaged this guy and he messaged me back--all seemed well and he asked for my number so we could text instead. Nbd, right? Wrong. He then sent me a face pic (I know, why didn't I get that first) and I found that I REALLY was not attracted to him. So I Apologized and backed out.
Now he's pissed and threatening to post my number on all sorts of pages on Facebook, backpage, and whatever else. Thankfully, he doesn't have any face pics. He gripe about being unattractive and always being rejected so I tried to explain to him that he's not ugly, just not my type. After much coaxing in vain, he sent me a pic of his middle finger and I expect to have sexual inquiries any minute now.
Oh yeah and I forgot to mention I'mean at a military installation and he wants to put that number on that Facebook page. FML. He does not have my name or face.
TL;DR: | gave my number to a grown child and he'said trying to possibly screw my reputation or at the very least inconvenience me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [21 F] keep up NC with my ex [22 M]?
POST: We dated for over a year, but because of school and work (and many other situational complications), had been on and off for the last few months. I formally ended things a week ago when he told me that he still thought of me as being "the one" for him, but was beginning to become interested in the idea of seeing other people while he was still young. As much as I want to hate him, I'm still crazy about him. This is the third day I've been NC (no contact). No matter what I do, I cannot get him out of my head. It is making me physically sick. Before we broke up, we had NYE plans. Now I'm spending it at home alone.
TL;DR: | Trying NC (no contact) and I'm going crazy. I'm spending New Years alone and need tips and distractions on how to avoid calling or texting him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Helping a family member with PTSD
POST: My brother-in-law is suffering from PTSD. He hasn't been officially diagnosed but it is quite clear that he is. He is in the military and has served multiple times in Iraq and Afghanistan. He and my sister have a big family and this is greatly affecting their lives and my life because I get dragged into it.
Without going into a lot of details about things he does, my question is what is the protocol for this with the military? My sister is afraid of reporting him for treatment because she needs the insurance. It will cost $2000/month to cover the family and that is with the bare minimum. He has a few more years left before he retires from the military. Because of their religion divorce isn't really something she is considering. I told her to send him to a private counselor (non-military) but she said they will still report him to the military regardless. Will the military be made aware of this and will he get kicked out for having PTSD?
TL;DR: | What is the USA military's stance on soldiers with PTSD? Will seeking treatment mean the end of the military career? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: One of my best friends is making me feel guilty
POST: Long story short. One of my best friend's aunt owns a beach house in our area. My friend thought it would be a great idea for her and her bf, me and my bf, and her friend and her bf (these last two I don't know) to go there and spend Valentines day weekend together.
I wasn't very comfortable with the idea, for 3 main reasons.
1. It's Valentine's day weekend. Valentines day is for couples, not friends.
2. The other two people I don't know. Not worried that they're dangerous or anything, but it could potentially be awkward.
3. My bf is unemployed. Money is very tight for him, and since it is her aunt's house and her aunt is also in an uncomfortable financial situation (who isn't), she needs us to pay. I wouldn't mind, but my bf would have trouble. I could pay for him, but he won't allow it.
I've expressed all 3 concerns to her and she brushes them off and goes on to say how much fun we'll all have. I'm really at a loss for how to tell her we don't want to go. She's one of the types to take that fact personally, and I don't want to hurt her feelings.
She has even gotten desperate to get me to go, and sent me a text message last night offering to pay for me and my bf, and do extra work for her aunt to make up the difference. [This] is the conversation this morning following that text message.
I'm really at a loss for words here. How do I tell her that my bf and I don't really feel comfortable going, without hurting her feelings? Again, she is super emotional about this type of thing and WILL take it personally.
TL;DR: | Friend is offering to pay for the bf and I to spend Valentines day weekend with her and 2 people we don't know. I simply do not feel comfortable and she will take it personally if I tell her that. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [M/18], I recently started talking to a girl [F/18] who is way out of my league and I am unsure if she actually wants to talk to me.
POST: I'll start by saying that many people introduce me to new acquaintances as "the nicest guy in the world." I guess even "nice guys" have their own personal issues as much as the next guy. That being said, I have one friend who I can honestly call a true best friend, along with a few people who know that I'd be alone watching TV if it wasn't for them. I'm always there for anyone if they need someone to listen to them, but I rarely find myself in that situation. I'm far from popular even though an occasional popular girl will tell me I'm attractive.
With that in mind, I recently started talking to one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen. She isn't just looks though: everything about her is so intricate and precise. The problem is that she is so far out of my league. Rarely do I even attempt to talk to a girl such as this one. We've hung out in groups a few times, and the past time I saw her we found ourselves alone for the first time. We sat under the stars and talked and laughed and I felt like we both had a good time. But when I asked her to hang out (tomorrow) earlier today, I became paranoid that I was annoying to her and I was convinced she really didn't like me all that much.
I'm not pushing for a relationship. Sometimes it'd just be nice to have a close female friend who I can watch Nicholas Sparks movies with and cry my eyes out and neither of us would care. This girl is so far out of my league though that I can't help but wonder why she talked to me in the first place.
TL;DR: | I don't have an abundance of self confidence, which is why I'm paranoid that this girl doesn't really want to be friends. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Why did the hospital give my BF morphine after he was emitted for dehydration?
POST: My boyfriend (a fellow Redditor) and I were suppose to see each other today for the first time in a couple of weeks because of our college's winter break. He was on his way home after work and had to pull over to suddenly vomit. He went home, got worse and then I didn't hear from him for a few hours. I assumed he had fallen asleep.
I just got a text message from him saying that he went to the hospital via ambulance because he was "nearly passing out" due to dehydration and started having bad chest pains. He made it all sound pretty simple and I assumed he was just hooked up to a basic IV.
Then just now he said he'd talk to me later because the morphine was making him sleepy. I freaked, because I know they don't give that stuff out lightly. I asked why he was on it and he didn't give me a coherent answer and is now out cold. He tends to down play things to keep me from worrying but now I'm worried even more.
Why would they put him on morphine? What could the chest pains be caused by?
TL;DR: | bf in hospital after dehydration from vomiting, said he had bad chest pains, now the hospital has him on morphine. Why? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17M] with my Girlfriend [16F] of 3 months, having trouble handling her depression.
POST: My girlfriend and I are both in high school and have been dating for 3 months now. Everything has been fine up until recently when her issues, problems, depression. Have become too heavy for me to handle.
On Friday we both went to a party and I went off to hang out with some other senior guys I knew for 20 minutes, I came back and she had drank a little bit (she stopped a few months earlier because drinking always made her depressed). She ignored me and wouldn't acknowledge anything that was going on, until she wanted to go smoke weed with me. I took her out of the party just to see if I could talk to her and see what was wrong. We sat down for a while and she wouldn't say anything, she started crying and I tried my best to comfort her and talk to her but she wouldn't say much to me.
I eventually had to get her to talk to me, I was leaving soon and I told her I could get her home. She wasn't responding so I kept asking her and told her I needed to know what she was going to do. She then started sobbing and said she would stay the night at the girl's house the party was at. I said okay, and that I had to go. As I started walking away I looked back and she was still sobbing against a brick wall. I ran back and made her promise me she would go back and not stay out long. She eventually did.
The next morning we texted eachother and were talking about the situation. I said it was a lot for me to handle, she wasn't talking to me it was too confusing. I felt overwhelmed. Throughout the day we talked about it, and by the end I had to break up with her.
She suffers from depression and her parents aren't supportive and there is a history of emotional abuse. She promised me she would try to get better and see a counselor but I just don't know how to feel.
This is also my first relationship. Not hers though. She seems to always become dependent on the other person. I told her she should have some time alone so she can get better and focus on her own happiness.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend is depressed, had to break up with her because I don't know how to deal with it. Still don't know if I have feelings for her, need some advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[19 m] got broken up with by girlfriend of a month [21 f] for saying some shit two weeks ago that I don't remember. How do I not let this happen again?
POST: I recently got out of a relationship with a girl. She broke up with me over something I said about two weeks ago. I had totally forgotten about what I said at this point. What I said was not the greatest but it wasn't relationship ending. The reason it ended the relationship was because she just sat on this information for two weeks and stewed in it.
My question is how can I make women feel more open to talking about the problems in a relationship instead of just us just sitting on the problems and resenting each other for it?
TL;DR: | I said some stupid shit. She did not like said shit. Breaks up with me two weeks later over shit I said. How do I not let this happen again? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with a girl [21 F]. Not sure what is going on.
POST: After lurking on here for ages, it's the first time I've felt the need to post. Yay!
So, I met this girl on OkCupid and we've been talking for a few weeks on both OKC and via text. We finally met in RL yesterday, and I honestly thought we hit it off. She was displaying a lot of the typical signs of attraction (hair tossing, eye contact, close proximity, touch, etc), and we had a lot in common. We didn't go very far physically (just making out), as I sort of wanted to convey that I wasn't just looking for sex.
So, anyway, we go our separate ways, but make plans to meet up tonight at a show at our school. I shoot her a message at around Noon to see if things were still on, and she messages me back saying that she's sorry and she can't come anymore because she's seeing a movie with a friend.
So, I'm confused (and probably overthinking). Should I take her reply as an indication that she's still interested but just tonight wouldn't work out? Or is this supposed to be a message to me that she's not interested? In which case I'm very confused because it seemed to me like she was very interested last night.
Anyway, if it is genuinely a rejection (as the pessimistic part of my brain is telling me), then it would mark roughly the fourth time this has happened in the last year where I met someone and they seemed interested, but never followed up. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong.
TL;DR: | Went on a date with a girl, thought we hit it off, but she suddenly seems distant. Where to go from here? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, Please help my figure out one of the most difficult choices I've ever had (Long Post)
POST: So Reddit I have come here for advice on a matter that I need the entire community to help. The story goes like this, I recently moved a year ago away from my home of 12 years due to issues with money and my physical well being. In doing this I left behind all my friends I've Known all my life, an environment I had gotten used to, and most importantly (also the main issue of this story) I left behind the one and only girl I have ever actually cared about. By this I mean she is the only girl I that just makes me smile,makes me laugh, and makes me happy just to be around her. Since I've been gone for a year i had tried to forget all bout her and just focus on life now, but... I just cant! I Recently went back to my home town and she heard I was in town, she actually went out of her way to come see me and it made my day fantastic, I told her I would be Moving back soon and she told my that was great....but then she said she would be moving in a year. My heart dropped and a single tear formed in my eye, I had not seen her in so long and now she will be gone forever, just right there I wanted to just tell her how I felt about her and how important she is to me even if she didn't know it. I just couldn't do it,by this time my friend had come out and i just trailed off she got back in her car and drove away... So here's my question Reddit, Should I tell her how much she means to me even though it might mean the end of our friendship or id only get 1 year? or should I just try and forget everything and move on with my life?
TL;DR: | Every guy has one girl that he can never get over and now i have the Chance to tell mine how Much I care about her but she will be Moving in a year forever. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Advice between bestfriends please.
POST: So the other night around 2am, Im (23/m) sleeping and I get a phone call from my bestfriend (22/f) but I don't pick up because I'm unaware its her until I hear her voicemail she leaves me. She sounds very upset, drunk and she's crying. So I call her back and ask her what's wrong, she tells me that she just left her sisters party because her sister and boyfriend were treating her like shit. It finally hits me that she's driving drunk and at this point in time I'm wide awake. So I demanded she pull over and tell me where she is and that I'd go to her. She tells me where and that's about 5 miles from my house but I'm willing to ride my bike to where she is to make sure she doesn't get hurt or hurt anyone else driving drunk. She asks to come to my house for the night and I tell her yes but wait til I get to her so I can drive her there. While I'm talking on the phone, my other female friend who was staying at my place for the night asks what's going on and I guess my bestfriend hears her and she suddenly starts telling me she's sorry for disturbing me and that's she will just go home by herself but I tell her to not be like this right now because she's been drinking and not thinking straight but she hangs up. So I'm in a panic and I call the police to tell them that my friend is driving drunk and want them to try and get to her before she hurts herself or someone else so I give them her Info, my info and where her last known location was and dispach is sent the message I guess. She texts me shortly after and I tell her what I did and she gets upset but I told her its was for her safety and that it didn't matter if she lost her license and I didn't want her to get hurt drunk driving. Now I feel like I did something wrong when I wanted to make sure she was safe. Did I do the right thing?
TL;DR: | bestfriend calls me clearly upset while she's drunk driving, Starts acting stubborn and then keeps driving, I call police on her in hopes they get to her before she hurts herself, she says I was wrong for that. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Love my boyfriend, not sure how much I like our relationship.
POST: I (F22) love my guy(M20), we work so well together on almost every level. Our relationship started off really well, we saw each other about 4 times a week and slept over at each others houses almost every time we hungout.
Then we broke up, we had started fighting a lot and although the chemistry and all the love we had for each other was there, we went our separate ways. The break up was initiated by him. Fast forward a month after that and we got back together, we couldn't even make it through a week without talking.
Now, we've been together ever since but our relationship is different. I only see him once or twice a week and for a few hours at a time. I wish I could see him more, and I've made this apparent to him but nothing has changed. I'm not unhappy, and I still want to be with him because I really care about him and love the time we do spend together, but I'm finding it hard to deal with the little amount of time we spend together.
Were both in college but his school work load keeps him much busier than mine does me, and that's why he can't make it to see me as often as he did in the summer.
Has anyone ever been in a situation like this? What has the outcome been?
Maybe I'm overreacting, but sometimes I feel as though we should be seeing more of each other than just once a week for a few hours, sometimes it feels like he doesn't make enough of an effort. But then I always understand his reasons for not being able to at the same time. How do I get over these feelings?
TL;DR: | only see him once a week for 3-5 hours. Having a hard time dealing with this perhaps because we used to spend a lot of time together, or because of societal/media depictions of what a relationship should be like. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] with my boyfriend[22 M] - we're a monogamous couple that isn't "commited" I.e. We both know we're not going to end up married, and are ok with that
POST: i guess I just want to know if this is normal/healthy.
We communicate well, have a great friendship and very active sex life. We're definitely exclusive and introduce ourselves as "together", but we've both expressed that we don't think we'll end up together in the end.
I like the relationship for my life right now. I love him(though I'm not "in love"/think he's "the one") and he's said the same thing to me. We both feel we're in transitionary phases in our lives, and value each others companionship, but we want to be realistic that most likely, both of us will change, someone will want something more "serious", either from this relationship or a new one, and it will end.
Is having a relationship "just for fun" ok? Or are we just trying to have our cake and eat it too?
TL;DR: | we're not quite single, but we're open to mingle(not cheat). Is it ok to have a not-serious relationship? Can I love someone knowing it won't last forever? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[26F] finally unfriended my ex [30m] a month after NC and trying to remind myself why it's the right decision.
POST: Well...after the longest month of my life, I finally unfriended him. In a way I'm relieved. I don't have to overanalyze the fact he still has his "in a relationship" up. I don't have to double think about whether he'll see my posts and try to find a way to secretly communicate that I've changed. This is just another step in realizing that it is HIM that needed changing.
The last straw was when I saw he became a fan of a page full of gorgeous half naked girls working out. Me, a perfectly fine pretty girl who WORKS at a gym.This, the guy I would literally beg for sex from. Who would go weeks and weeks without sleeping with me and yet continued to look at porn and masturbate. Who wouldn't hold my hand. Who stopped sticking up for me. Who wouldn't even kiss me for no reason other than me asking him to. Who watched me cry and lay awake at night wondering why I wasn't good enough. Who would promise to change and ultimately did nothing. Who got more excited over his possessions than he ever did about me.
I've never had two such strong emotions co-exist. Longing for him and searing hate at the same time.
Warning, immature heat-of-the-moment rant ahead: I honestly hope you don't find anyone. In fact, I know you won't.
TL;DR: | Unfriended ex one month after post breakup in a fit of anger. Am desperate to feel the benefits in remembering it's the right decision. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Doing Freelance Work as a Minor on a Content Mill Site (NJ, USA)
POST: I am a minor (15 - going to be 16 in less than a month) who aspires to jumpstart a career in freelance writing. I've done some work, but seeing as I'm a minor and I can't register for many of the content mills that exist I've been at a loss for getting work and knowing proper prices to charge. A friend suggested that I register at some of these content mill sites just to view what the rates were for many jobs and I have not received any work on any of these websites.
However, on one website (while I won't name it, the terms for this site do state that you must be either 18 or capable of forming a legally binding contract) I was invited to apply for a job and the man who posted the job was very excited as he had seen my writing elsewhere and had hoped I would write for him. I don't believe that he is aware that I am a minor, but what I'd like to know is the legality of completing this job. While freelance work on its own isn't illegal for a minor, would using one of these sites be illegal?
From what I understand, the fear is that I cannot form a legally binding contract on my own and many resources online suggest having parents sign for me. However, this is not an option, so would I be better off staying away from doing freelance work on content mill sites? Thank you.
TL;DR: | I was approached to do freelance work on a content mill site that requires users to be 18 or capable of entering legally binding contracts. I am a minor, so would it be illegal to work on one of these sites? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I make stupid jokes at the wrong time and my(Im 20m) Gf(19f) of 2 years is finding it hard to deal with
POST: my gf laughs at my jokes, even at my puns, but occasionally I don't sense that the situation is serious and I say a stupid joke and It leads to us fighting. It can also represent how I feel about a topic poorly because the joke makes me look bad.
We are in a ldr and it's hard to sense tone when we are typing which often leads to me being "funny" at the wrong time.
we are currently fighting and she just says that I'll never change because it happens frequently X) when we are in the same place (not long distance) we are a lot more capable of getting along.
help?
TL;DR: | my(20m) long distance relationship with my gf(19f) is hard because I'm bad at picking up on seriousness and I make stupid jokes |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: Ex upset about hooking up.
POST: Hey r/breakups, I have a bit of an issue. I originally posted this in relationships but they told me to come here.
I'm a homosexual male, and I was in a long term (9 month) relationship which ended roughly 3 weeks ago. I'm 19 years old, in college in a major city, and frankly, I'm horny. Due to this, I rekindled a hook up (let's call him D) from last year and began seeing him on a regular basis only 13 days after breaking up with my former boyfriend (let's call him B). I no longer have feelings beyond a friendship with B, but a mutual friend told me that he had heard about my hooking up with D through a different mutual friend, and that he was really upset and wanted to talk to me.
I know it isn't my responsibility to police myself for someone I no longer have an obligation to, but who exactly is in the wrong here? Am I just a slut that hurt someone because he couldn't keep it in his pants? (which I'm fine with) Or is B a control freak that needs to let go? I know it's probably somewhere in the middle, but this has been really bothering me. I don't feel bad about the hook up, I'm just more annoyed that B is still trying to get in my business.
I still have yet to talk to B about this, mostly because I'm trying to figure out how to approach it. B is a decent friend, but I refuse to compromise about this if I'm in the right. Should I attempt to smooth things over with B or just ignore him and continue doing what I want to do?
Additional Info: I dumped B due to both his heavy drinking and a lack of feelings for him anymore. We made nice a few days after I dumped him, and haven't really spoken much since. B is 21, but I'm his first serious boyfriend. I however, have had quite a few relationships, and I've never been dumped, so I can't really relate to his perspective in this situation. D and I are doing the FWB/NSA thing, so this wasn't intended to find a new relationship/hurt B, I was honestly just horny.
TL;DR: | I dumped my long term boyfriend, and I hooked up with a different boy 13 days later. Ex found out and is upset, how should I go about handling the situation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 20 M realizing feelings for friend F 19.
POST: Hello, I've been on a few dates with this girl on and off for about 6 months now. She's a great girl with emotional issues similar to my own and on our most recent night out we did an experiment to see if we could invoke feelings of love.
I was hesitant because I already had an inkling that I'd feel those feelings and that she would not. The night went well and at the end of it she asked if I felt anything. Again, I was hesitant for fear of getting hurt.
I drove her home and we text ed each other a little bit. Since then, I've regretted not being a bit bolder and just telling her I do, indeed, straight up think she's just fucking dandy. I've messaged her a few times since then and have yet to receive a response.
It's been a day and a half. I'm worried, naturally, and wrote this out mostly because I need an unbiased place to vent to. I can accept if she doesn't reciprocate, I just need to know. Any advice on how to approach the situation or anything else?
Please help me.
TL;DR: | Realized I actually have feelings for someone and don't know how to handle it. I have Fallout Boys angsty shit on repeat, please help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: The worst kind of crush is a work crush.
POST: Forewarning, this is going to be another "there's this boy at work.." post, but here goes.
There's this boy (man? I kind of feel like I'm at that age where I should just call them men) at work, and try as I might, I just can't stop thinking about him. It's getting bad. He's been going through some shit lately, so all I wanna do is kiss his stupid adorable face and tell him it'll be fine. Sometimes I think theres a small chance he could like me back, but everything he does that makes me think that he might be interested I then just chalk up to him being one of the most genuine and nice people I've ever met. I get really giddy about these stupid things and when I go off and retell everything to my friends, they are convinced that he likes me. We have great conversation, he seems interested in what I have to say all the time, and generally some of the things he does most people would say is because he's interested, but it's so hard to tell. I have super low self-esteem, so I'm firmly in the "he's not interested and never will be," camp. I'm really bad at the relationship thing, commitment is really hard for me, but this doesn't really scare me, so I know I'm fallin' hard.
There is a group of coworkers that get drinks after work 1-2 times a week, him and myself included, and half the time I'm just staring at him thinking like, "damn, look at you, you're awesome."
Even if nothing happens, even if he just likes me as a friend (which would suck for me, but, I've been there before) I'm still pretty happy he's around.
TL;DR: | I am a 24 year old girl who consistently acts like a 15 year old with her first big crush because I have it RULL bad for my co-worker. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: How far do I take "this is what I've made us for dinner and if you don't want it then you can go hungry"?
POST: My 3y9m son would rather go hungry than try something new and is starting to lose weight because of it. Luckily he has got a bit of extra weight as he was a big baby/toddler, but he's definitely slimming down to the point where trousers are falling down that once fit (and not really growing taller, so I don't think he's stretching).
I am previously guilty of making things I knew he'd eat rather than have the fuss involved with trying new things, but now he's older and has a little brother (who eats anything we put in front of him) he has to learn to try new things. He also starts school in September and will have to have cooked school dinners, so I am worried about him being hungry during the day because he won't eat their food.
We all eat very balanced healthy diets, but he has always been very stubborn and would never even chew on a vegetable out of curiosity as a baby. He was weaned fairly early at 4 months because he was a big hungry baby and happily ate the purées and mashed up food we made, but as soon as he moved onto feeding himself he has become more and more stubborn. His brother wasn't ready to be weaned until 6 months and refused to be spoon fed, so we have gone down the baby led weaning route with him and he happily eats anything and everything. I wish I had done the same thing the first time round, but hindsight's a bitch!
Do I let him go hungry if he won't eat what I've made, or should I let him have a bit of something boring like bread and butter to fill him up? I don't want him to turn into one of those children who only eats certain foods, I want him to enjoy food and the ritual of mealtimes like we do! Letting your child go hungry seems to go against all natural instincts as a parent to feed your child, but I don't know what other options I've got. We've done sticker charts for trying new food, but once he fills it up he says he's tried all the new food and doesn't want to do it again!
TL;DR: | My son would rather be hungry than try something new. How long do I let this go on before letting him eat? I've been doing it strictly since before Christmas and he's losing weight! |
SUBREDDIT: r/cats
TITLE: R.I.P Blacky . Best friend of 16 years.
POST: My cat was drooling and didn't eat as much as usual, we brought her to the vet and got looked at. She went for dentistry today and i was waiting for her to come home. She wasn't able to come home cause the vet found out that she had bone cancer that was secluded to her jaw. The vet said the cancer ate away at her jaw bone and that she was in immense pain, she didn't show it. The vet also said that cats won't show what wrong with them until it's in the final stages of a disease or whatever is wrong with it.
We had to put her down today . I didn't cry, but as i write this now, i'm pretty fucking close.
TL;DR: | Love your cat. Go fucking hug her/him right fucking now and if you think anything is wrong, take them to vet asap. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23F] with my housemate of 6 months [25ishF], she has some pretty disordered eating and no one is sure how to deal
POST: So I've been living with my current housemates for around 6 months, we're all postgrads in the UK, there's 4 of us total, we're all 23-29. we've pretty much only known each other for this time.
One of my housemates, Annie went through a period of essentially anorexia (although she's never used the term) she's a healthy weight now but definitely has issues around food. She's only told me about this to my knowledge.
A few weeks ago Annie was confronted with her weight at the doctors. She hasn't said anything but it was obviously higher than she expected and I think she'd just been avoiding the numbers anyway.
Since then my other housemates have picked up on her eating issues. Annie is turning down opportunities to eat together, is eating very little (most things on her fridge shelf just sit there until they rot). Now we're organising a house christmas meal and she's already sowing the seeds of not eating much (says she doesn't feel like drinking, is purposefully encouraging us to make sides she can't eat as she's vegan (bacon sprouts, using butter for the potatoes etc), but then is also saying she'll only eat sides rather than make a veggie main).
I know she has eating issues and the other housemates have cottoned on. But none of us know what to do, we know whenever she talks about the massive lunch she had so she shouldn't eat much for dinner is a lie. We're literally watching her make excuses to starve herself. it's almost annoying because we don't know if we should be calling her out, if we should just be going along with her charade, how much we should push or whatever.
Any advice?
TL;DR: | housemate i've only known for a few months seems to be falling back into anorexic behaviour. we've all noticed. what do we do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24f] am so angry with him [36m] right now.
POST: My boyfriend of two years is pretty sure he has a hernia, and has thought this for over three weeks. This is what finally convinced him to enroll in his work's health insurance and now we're waiting on the insurance card.
He went to the doctor but of course hadn't gotten any pertinent insurance info over the phone, and they needed him to obtain that before he could be seen. Because they initially gave him the wrong phone number and then he was on hold with the right one for eight minutes, he just hung up and left! He is acting like a child!!
I told him over and over to just get his insurance id # over the phone but did he? Not until I started crying today! And he's still going to work today now that he has the right info and won't go to the fucking doctor until tomorrow. I'm sick of his indecisive bullshit and complaining that it hurts and he can't have sex (it's been like 5 days which is long for us) and then he WON'T DO ANYTHING about it!!!
This is just a vent I suppose. I do live him but I've never been so angry. He is acting like a loser.
Edit
TL;DR: | Boyfriend is being whiny and very lazy about going to the doctor and he's in pain. I'm very irritated. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My brother's ex girlfriend [22F] wants me [20M] to sleep at her house.
POST: So my brother's ex broke up with him 2 years ago because he cheated on her. Twice. Since then se always wants to get coffee and I always avoid it.
I work at night and told her after she asked 10 minutes ago that I could get lunch with her but I would have to sleep in my car until lunch hour. She told me to sleep at her place and I was like, sure I can sleep on your couch.
She killed it with: I don't have a couch. You'll sleep with me.
What do I do dudes and dudas?
TL;DR: | Brother cheated on ex twice. They broke up two years ago. She wants me to sleep at her place during this morning, to grab lunch later. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My GF [19/F] doesn't say she has a boyfriend to guys, I [20/M] don't really know how to respond.
POST: Edit: I don't think I quite put it right, it isn't like she says she's single. It's more that she doens't want guys to know, she doesn't want to bring it up.
Sorry for my English, this is not my native language
My girlfriend went out yesterday with her friends. A friend of her met some boys from her town, they hung out all night.
That's the situation, not the problem. My girlfriend are both a bit jealous, she more than me. I don't think it is a problem if she talks to boys or something, but today was different.
She called me and said that she was talking to a boy all night, and that she wanted to tell me. Several people said like, hey you both have an SO, so people saw they were pretty close.
The problem is that she admitted that she never tells boys that she has a boyfriend, because they immediatly loose interest in her. And she likes conversations with boys, she always hangs out with the guys.
She also have eachothers cellphone numbers, she even messaged him later that night. But that's nothing special, she send me a screenshot of the short conversation. She deleted his number, but the conversation is still there.
My problems are this:
* I don't like it that she does not tell guys that she has a boyfriend. I always subtally tell girls.
* I don't mind that she talks to boys, but I think it's weird that even other people see how close they are.
* I don't like the fact that they have eachothers phonenumbers
* I know that she would hate if it I would do this to her, but somehow she thinks this is okay to do
* She thinks that I'm just whining about all of this, she's not really comforting me. She just tells me to stop talking about it.
I know that she hasn't cheated or something, she really did do anything really wrong or something. But I really don't like this situation.
The question is if she's right, that I'm just a bit to jealous of this situation.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend has guys phone number, admits that she doesn't tell boys that she has an SO, thinks i'm overthinking this all and tells me to stop talking about it. |