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with determined steps , he answered his page-some sort of consult on a diagnosis .
after his input , this patient would pull through .
it was the true embodiment of the dichotomy of his job .
once he finished , pesh went over to the office area of the emergency room .
he eased down onto a stool , placing his head in his hands .
as he rubbed his eyes , he swore they were moist from overuse , not from the potential tears welling behind them .
if there was one thing he was , it was a professional .
doctors had to be emotionally detached when they were doing their job , or they would lose their minds .
but it was n't staying detached in the moment that was the issue-it was the aftermath .
the agonizing moments when the adrenaline stores depleted , and his sagging body seemed to shoulder the hysteria , the panic , the grief , and the heartbreak of the family .
he did n't know how long he remained like that , head in his hands , tuning out the noises humming around him .
when he felt a tap on his shoulder , he jerked around .
it was kristi , a charge nurse and one of his most trusted coworkers .
she smiled warmly at him as if she knew the inner turmoil he was in .
`` dr. nadeen , i hate to interrupt , but you have a visitor . ''
`` exam room d. '' `` thank you . ''
when pesh pushed open the door , he could n't help the surprise that filled him .
with her auburn hair pulled into a loose knot and her emerald eyes glittering with happiness , emma harrison fitzgerald , stood before him with her six-month-old son balanced on her hip .
i hope i 'm not interrupting you . ''
a rush of pure love entered his chest at the sight of her .
nine months ago he would have confused the feeling with amorous love , but now he knew the difference .
it 's so good to see you . ''
his brows furrowed as his mind wondered why she was here in the er .
`` you 're okay , are n't you ? ''
`` oh , i 'm perfectly well .
it 's just- '' pesh 's gaze dropped to the strawberry-blond haired boy sucking voraciously on a pacifier .
`` noah 's fine , is n't he ? ''
pesh exhaled the anxious breath he 'd been holding .
`` i 'm glad to hear that .
`` i wish i could say the same for you .
even with emma 's expectant expression , he did n't want to elaborate .
gazing down at his hands , he finally responded , `` i held a man 's heart in my hands this morning . ''
emma 's eyes widened , and she sucked in a breath .
`` oh my god ... '' he shook his head with regret .
`` but no matter how hard i tried , i still could n't save him . ''
`` i 'm so , so sorry . ''
`` thank you , '' he murmured .
since he was ready to change the subject before his emotions overcame him again , he motioned for her to have a seat .
`` so , what brings you here ? ''
`` i have a favor to ask of you . ''
i think it 'll be a long , long time before he ever gets in a small plane again . ''
as noah began to squirm , she shifted him from her lap to her shoulder .
he spit out his pacifier and started to fuss .
let me , '' pesh suggested , bending over to take noah into his arms .
noah 's surprised blue eyes met his , and then he smiled at pesh .
my , how you 've grown since i saw you last . ''
noah cooed and reached for pesh 's stethoscope .
`` i know it 's a lot to ask , considering you 're not catholic , but i was wondering if you would be noah 's godfather ? ''
pesh could n't hold back his surprise , and his mouth dropped open in shock .
`` since i 'm not catholic , i 'm basically humoring aidan 's father by having a baptism for noah .
`` how could i ever forget mr. fitzgerald , the matchmaker ? ''
well , you can understand how persistent he is . ''
`` oh yes , i do . ''
`` we 're allowed one catholic and one non-catholic godparent .
we 've chosen aidan 's niece as godmother , and then i wanted you . ''
`` but what about your good friend ? ''
`` besides the fact that connor is a non-practicing baptist , he 's refused on the grounds he does n't want to have any moral or religious responsibility for noah . ''
`` while he and casey were obvious choices , let 's just say they 're looking forward to corrupting noah , rather than guiding him on a spiritual path . ''
emma 's auburn brows knitted together in worry .
`` i hope you 're not offended that i told you that .
i do n't want you to think you were a second best choice .
when i thought of someone to protect and guide noah , you were one of the first people to pop into my mind . ''
pesh worked to free his stethoscope from noah 's mouth .
`` and what does aidan say about this ? ''
he knew that although he and aidan had come to some sort of friendship on the night of noah 's birth , he could n't imagine , as possessive as aidan was , that he would want a potential ex-flame of emma 's having a major part in his son 's life .
`` he 's fine with it , '' emma replied , as she toyed with the strap on her purse .
`` emma , '' pesh pressed .
she threw up her hands as she met his gaze .
`` okay , so he was n't thrilled with the idea at first .
it took some convincing on my part , but he 's totally onboard now . ''
`` as honored as i am , i would not cause contention between you two for anything in the world . ''
months ago , that touch would have electrified him from his head to his feet .
now it was nothing more than the caring touch of a friend .
`` in this day and age , it is so hard to find a truly honorable man .
you have such a kind heart and a caring spirit .
coupled with your integrity , i could n't ask for a better person in my son 's life , and aidan agreed . ''
pesh brought his gaze from emma 's intense one to noah 's inquisitive one .
he loved children , and he wanted nothing more than to have a house full of them one day .
the fact that emma thought so highly of him truly melted his heart .
as he stared into noah 's sweet face , he wanted to be a part of his life .
`` emma , it would be a privilege . ''
emma 's green eyes widened as she bounded out of her chair .
`` of course , it is an honor and a pleasure . ''
she cried , throwing her arms around his neck .
noah squealed happily between them and kicked his legs against pesh 's chest .
when emma pulled away , noah grinned at the two of them , which caused emma to smile .
`` i think noah approves of his new godfather . ''
or he realizes his mother 's talents for manipulating any man within a mile radius . ''
`` you 're terrible , '' she replied , swatting his arm playfully .
`` sorry to interrupt , dr. nadeen .
but you have a patient in exam room a . ''
`` i 'm sorry , but i have to go . ''
she reached for noah and took him back into her arms .
it 'll be at transfiguration in marietta since it 's closer to our house .
afterwards , we 're going to have a big party . ''
`` i 'll make sure to clear my schedule . ''
pesh leaned over to kiss noah 's cheek .
`` goodbye to you as well . ''
you ca n't imagine how happy you 've made me .
he imagined that emma 's elation was far greater than aidan 's , but he kept that to himself .