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Her: I mean you essentially started this conversation with one
| I see. Next time someone asks you this question it’ll be a kink for you, rather than a fantasy. | |
Her: I appreciate you confidence
Her: What’s yours?
| To meet several open minded women for an amazing night. The idea of being able to please 2-3 women at the same time turns me on a lot. That takes time though. | |
Her: You don’t say
Her: And can I ask how many other good girls you’re enjoying at the moment?
| Mhm, I’m enjoying one woman at the moment | |
Her: Gotcha
Her: Are you looking for anything beyond closed doors?
| Not at first, but I’d be open to the idea after getting to know you better | |
Her: I think I understand
Her: Ask away
| I can tell we will get along well. Why don’t we get together & we can have some fun | |
Her: If getting to know each other comes second, you expect me to let a stranger off the internet handcuff me upon walking in the door?
| No! That was a scenario. We’re going to sit down, flirt, and get to know each other first over an amazing bottle of wineCheck if there’s chemistry, and if there is we can see where things take us. If you want to leave, I’ll call you and Uber and give you a hug goodbye! | |
Her: So your place?
| yes, at my place | |
Her: Hm I don’t know how to feel about that
| I totally understand. You free to hop on a quick FaceTime to say hi? | |
Her: Afraid not, I’m both on the train and late to meeting someone
Her: Tomorrow?
| Tomorrow works. Let’s take this party off tinder then. Text me | |
They matched on Hinge. She had a very sweet, cutesy vibe to her profile. She liked his photo. He messaged her first by responding to a prompt she had about karaoke. | Oh I’m a big karaoke guy. What’s your go-to song? | |
Her: My go to song is a milli 😂
| LOL nice, now I’m imagining you rapping in a bucket hat with your drink in your hand.. I see youThe fifth pic makes so much sense now 😉 | |
Her: 😂 😂
Her: I can’t be singing 90’s classics. I have to rap hard
| Respect hahaha a true trailblazer in action. Is look at me now in your song list? Now that’s a hard one | |
Her: ooof yeah that’s a hard one
Her: but I could be up for the challenge
| Haha we’ll have to throw it into the mix on our date thenWhere you from originally? You’re not giving me the ‘new yorker born and raised’ vibes | |
Her: i’m from long island! New yorker through and through
Her: what about you?
| Love it, I’m from New York too. I grew up in Westchester but I moved to the city five years ago. What brought you to the city? | |
Her: Oh nice! I moved here 10 years ago 😳
Her: i definitely always wanted to live here. Work brought me here
| Same for me, as well as the nightlife. Always wanted to party in the city as a kid hahaWhat do you like to do in your free time besides rap your heart out at karaoke? | |
Her: hahah i’m a pretty simple gal. i like trying new restaurants. I LOVE catching a good sunset. Like staying active and hitting the gym
Her: What about you?
| Pretty much the same, though I love going to concerts and traveling, I go like 6-7 times a yearHmm I have a plan for our first date you’ll love then 😉 | |
Her: oh yeahhh? Ok i’m excited now 😌
| The plan is we’ll meet at a coffee shop in Dumbo. We’ll flirt, laugh, get to know each other. And if the vibe is good, we can catch the sunset by the water near the brooklyn bridge. | |
Her: love it
Her: that sounds great
| Cool! Drop me your number and we’ll set it up over text | |
Her: (phone number) 🙂
| Hey cutie, it’s (student’s name) from Hinge. Sup | |
Her: oh wassuppp
Her: where in Westchester are you from?
| I’m from right outside of white plains in HartsdaleEver been up there? | |
Her: i’ve been to white plains but not heartsdale
| Haha fair enough, it's a pretty small town. It’s fun though.Let’s grab that coffee. Free Wednesday evening? | |
Her: sadly i’m not free on weds. But could do thurs or fri?
| Ah I’m heading to Philly this weekend for a friend’d party and leaving Thursday night. Won’t be back until SundayWe can shoot for next week, unless you’re free earlier in the week? | |
Her: damn! Okay let me see if i can make weds work
Her: philly will be fun though!
| Yeah, I’m excited it’s my first time going. That’s why I’m going for the long weekend hah | |
Her: nice! As you should
Her: philly is cool
| For sure. I’m not excited for my friend to say ‘it’s always sunny in philly’ every day thoughGuessing you’ve been a few times? | |
Her: yeah we have an office there so i’ve been a few times
Her: haven’t gone out out there but it seems like a cute little town
| Cool, and yeah I’ve heard it’s pretty fun there. Only thing I know about there is Penn state though lolYou travel a lot for work? | |
Her: nope i don’t! I’ve just been there a few times but i don’t travel very often
Her: my office is in chelsea so pretty easy commute from where i am
| Sounds like it. Half the reason I’m in Brooklyn is because it’s closer to the airports. I love to travel | |
Her: where do you travel to?
| Anywhere and everywhere! I have friends all over from travel adventures so I usually go and crash with them. Was just in chicago last month and have some big trips coming up later this year | |
Her: love it!! I love chicago. One of my best friends lives there. I gotta get back
Her: i need to travel more. I’ve still never been to the west coast
| Oh I’m sure you’ll love it over there, California in particular has some pretty beautiful citie | |
Her: i know! I need to go
Her: what’s been your favorite place to visit?
| Tough question. I really liked Sweden in the summer specifically, it’s pretty much sunlight 24 hours a day. Lots of great food and culture there. Spain is a very very close second. Hbu? | |
Her: spain is awesome. I loved it there
Her: i’m irish is ireland is up there
Her: but in the states, chicago is up there and also charleston
| Spain would definitely be the country I’d choose to live in if not in the US | |
Her: i’d have to agree with that
| I’ll get started on planning the honeymoon then. Barcelona or Madrid? | The purpose of this message is to inject some fun into the conversation. So far, it has been very boring, ‘get to know you’ conversation which most interactions need a bit of but it needs to be done in a way that keeps the girl engaged. |
Her: defffff barcelona
| Oh ho, the irish girl likes to party. I’m in | |
Her: 💁🏼♀️
Her: irish girl def likes to party a little
Her: although it’s getting harder as i get older lol
| Lol you and me bothAlcohol hits very different now | |
Her: it’s offensive
Her: how old are you?
| 29” When a girl asks your age, there is no need to lie and pretend to be an age you’re not. Just be honest and own it. If she questions you on it, a good message to send is “Age is just a number. I’ve dated women from early 20’s to late 40’s. it always comes down to the person not the year on their driver license. One big plus I’ve found with older women is a higher sex drive and better communication, which matches with me | When a girl asks your age, there is no need to lie and pretend to be an age you’re not. Just be honest and own it. If she questions you on it, a good message to send is “Age is just a number. I’ve dated women from early 20’s to late 40’s. it always comes down to the person not the year on their driver license. One big plus I’ve found with older women is a higher sex drive and better communication, which matches with me |
Her: youngin!
| I keep up with the best of em;)You’re 33 right? | |
Her: yes 😢
| It’s okay, we’ll get you some pedialyte & water to have with your martiniBalance is important | |
Her: balance is def important
| Hmm now I’m curious about somethingWhen you drink how do you get? Energetic, sleepy, dancing? Lol | |
Her: i get pretty energetic lol
Her: ready to rage
Her: dancing for sure
| All the right answersYou sure you didn’t cheat on this test? | |
Her: no cheating over here 😅
Her: confirming i can meet weds 🙂
| Great. Let’s meet here on Wednesday at 7? (address of venue) | |
Her: Sounds perfect
| Perfect, I’ll see you then cutie | |
Her: see you then ☺️
| Good afternoon! Still good for tonight, yeah? | |
Her: yep!!
| Awesome, it’s beautiful out so I’m sure the sunset will be great. I’ll let you know when I’m heading out | |
Her: it’s soo nice out
Her: and sounds good!
Her: i think i’ll take the 640 ferry that gets into dumbo at 648
Her: if that works
| Yep that works! Ferry trip sounds amazing | |
Her: the ferry is so great. I love taking them lol
| Oh yes. When I go to Rockaway I always take the long way by the ferry haha | |
Her: Love it lol they are LEGIT
| Heading out here soon, I’ll see you in a bit! | |
Her: see you shortly!
| Just got here, sitting outside the place | |
Student: Hey trouble 😏
Her: Trouble I’m a good girl 😂 😈
Her: Also hi I’m 5”7 🥰
| Is that so? Sounds like we’re off to a great start then ;) | |
Her: Why would you be a bad one love?
Her: We are off to a great start I was shocked at the super like I’m like no effing way he’s this fine & liked me 😮💨 🙈
| Am I going to be a bad influence on you?Because I like to get into some fun trouble from time to time myself 😈 | |
Her: Define fun trouble cuz I’m pretty normal 😂
| Haha nothing too crazy, just a few neck kisses and a lil hair pulling | |
Her: Oh alright you scared me there for a sec I’m like ‘plz don’t let this man say he likes swingers or multiple partners’ Lol
Her: We are clearly so far on the same page then 😊
| Glad we are ;) so let’s start with the basics. Any tattoos, piercings, kinks, good kisser? | |
Her: No tattoos I have my nipples pierced & just a couple of ear piercings, Iloveee me a good kisser I love making out before during & after sex kissing to me is so hot puts me in the mood real quick
Her: I can be a freak in the sheets I like facials, I like sucking on fingers, spit in my mouth is hot that’s pretty much it i’d say. DISCLAIMER: No anal whatsoever 🙂
| Noted. Mm I enjoy all those things too - love it when a woman likes to get dirty. I’ll have to put those kissing skills to the test here soon then ;) | |
Her: Once I’m done with jury duty we can totally plan something I’d love to test out your skills as well 😘
Her: Hbu? Those same questions but I’m gonna ask…am I your type? Ima tell you now you are 100% my type 🤤
| No tattoos yet, though I’m getting one here real soon, & had my ears pierced. I love some passionate hair pulling, spanking, going down on a girl, and giving commands. All depends on what you’re comfortable withDefinitely my type. Looks like you have some of my weaknesses too 😏 | |
Her: Oooo I can get down with all of the above 😍 & ofc I’ll say no to something if I ain’t down with it
Her: Really?! Good thank god cuz I’m tryna give you a ride of your life 🤪🤪 I’m glad you like me curvy cuz I got lots of body to explore 🥵
Student: :Mm love the sound of that. I’ll return the favor and then some 😈”
Her: You’re gonna love all the sounds of this body I wanna hear it all from you
| You got it. What area are you in? I’m in Brooklyn | |
Her: I’m in Staten Island. I work in Brooklyn on Tuesdays :/
| Ah gotcha. We can always just link when you’re here then | |
Her: Do you have your own place?
Her: Oh I’ll definitely meet you here in Brooklyn I unfortunately do not live alone as of yet 😂 sooner or later I’m gonna renovate my apartment downstairs from my parents but we gotta get on it ASAP LOL
| Yeah I have roommates, but it’s a big ass place so we’ll have our privacy 😉 | |
Her: You’re so lucky I wish 😂 oh even better I can’t wait
| Good. When do you get off jury duty? I gotta help my sister today with something at 730 but you could come earlier | |
Her: Oh nah I can’t at all this week love I work full time and then this weekend is my nieces birthday I have jury duty next week on Monday so when I’m done with that I’ll come to you
| Busy girl! Lol sounds good. Shoot me your number, and I’ll send you a text to figure it out. | |
They matched on Tinder. He messaged her first with a generic opener that could apply to anyone. | When did you start modeling? | |
Her: Ahaha nere
| Lmao damn might be time to get into it (her name) 😅 | |
Her: 😂 you’re too kind
| You won’t be saying that after I steal your 🐈 | This message could be interpreted as sexual or not by the girl. It gives her the opportunity to sexualise. |
Her: I’d like to see you try
| Haha love the confidence (her name)You’re cute, what are you looking for on here? | |
Her: I’m just going with the Flow
Her: How about you
| Right on, I’m looking for something chill and fun for now but down to see where things go if that makes sense | |
Her: I feel that
| Lemme secure that snap girl | |
They matched on Tinder. He messaged her first. This interaction contains some examples of misinterpreting what she says and reframing them. This is not an example of a perfect interaction as there is little to no ‘get to know you’ conversation and, so, very little comfort and connection created for the girl. There are points in the interaction where she is understandably confused. The examples of misinterpretation and reframing are to be used when objections occur, not as the basis for the whole conversation. The number he got from this interaction is not likely to be a strong one and there is a good chance she will flake unless they have some ‘get to know you’ conversation or vibing over WhatsApp. | Wow ice Cream and fries on our date?! | |
Her: the best thing ever
| When is this happening? | Misinterpreting what she is saying to mean that she is referring to their date. |
Her: Our date?
| Sure! | Misinterpreted as her asking him out. |
Her: Why u wanna go out with me
| Well I’d prefer to meet in public before going inside. I feel better like that | This message reframes her as the chaser. It also preemptively handles a safety objection she may have. |
Her: Going inside?
| Maybe. If you’re as fun in person as you are over text and the vibe is right | This message assumes she has already agreed to coming over. It frames him as the one who is not sold on her yet. |
Her: Inside where?
| Haha I feel like it’s too early to give you my address. Let’s grab a drink first :) | This message has misinterpreted her previous message as her asking for his address and frames her as the chaser. It also assumes they will be going back to his place after. It also preemptively handels another objection. |
Her: Why would i come over after one drink?
| Because I need to make sure that you’re not a serial killer or a catfish first ;) | This message pushes her to qualify herself while also preempting another objection women commonly have on dating apps. |
Her: I’m not, but anyways why would i still come im not gonna sleep with u or anything like that
| That’s actually a relief | This message steals the frame as positive for him. |
Her: Huh
Her: I wouldn’t even ask about going to ur place..
| Perfect. I like to take things slow and I’m not looking for cheap hookups | This message steals the objection from her and reframes it as positive for him. |
Her: Then what should I think about ‘well i’d prefer to meet in public before going inside.’...
| It’d be kinda weird if you just came straight over to my place on the first date 😂 what if you’re awkward or something? It’s important for me to have chemistry on the first meet | This message misinterprets her previous message as her trying to go straight to his place while also baiting her to qualify herself as not awkward. |
Her: Why would i even come on the second date? Hahaha don’t get me wrong yah, i’m very normal, but it sounded like ur inviting me for a hookup
| If you’re looking for a hookup then I’m the wrong guy for you. If you’re looking for something more meaningful than that, then this may work. It’s really important for me that I want to see the girl more than once. | This message deals with a potential concern the girl man have and flips it back on her. |
Her: Im not looking for a hookup
Her: I don’t like those
Her: Im not even on Tinder as looking for a guy
| I’m glad you’re different from other Serbian girls | This message qualifies her while also implying preselection and the options he has in the other women that want to hookup with him. |
Her: Yeah u can meet a lot of crazy people here
Her: I downloaded this app with my friend we were just talking to people of course ignoring those idiots
| I’m glad you understand why I always want to meet in public first. I don’t think you’re one of those people but you can never be too safe these days | This message deals with a concern that was previously brought up in the conversation. The last part makes it easier for her to agree as it is likely to be something that she is thinking. |
Her: Yeah of course i agree
Her: But im not free until monday
| Monday actually works really well for me! | |
Her: Until monday if at my work they don’t change my shift
Her: They were talking about something
Her: What r u doing in Serbia anyway
| Sounds amazing! Shoot me your WhatsApp | |
They match on Tinder and he opens her with a generic opener. | Love you | |
Her: love you too 🤣
| Mean it? | |
Her: Hahaha no I thought you were joking
| Wow that’s fucked up…Haha kidding! We can get a divorce that’s totally fine 😜 | |
Her: Hahahahaha where do I sign 🤣
| The dotted line..Just so you know, I’m keeping the dogs! | |
Her: Hahahahahaha
Her: You can keep yours and I will keep mine
| When we were married they all became mine!You can have the house in Australia | So far the conversation has been fun role play, keeping the conversation light and playful. |
Her: Hahahahaha ok…but I won’t give you anything our marriage was shit 🤣 since you cheated on me I’ll keep everything…even your clothes
| It was a threesome you can’t call that cheating! Hmm when are you going to come claim my clothes? 😏 | This message hints at his sexual value. |
Her: Threesome…great my ex husband…I don’t know what I ever saw in you
Her: Next week and I will give it to the homeless people they deserve it more
| I think you saw the multiple screaming orgasms in me. Just using me for my body. I have a mind as well | This message frames him as the prize. |
Her: Well I think you used me for MY body because lets be honest…I am the hotter person in our marriage
| I actually fell for your mindWhy did you even marry me? | This message baits her into qualifying him and verbalize what she likes about him. |
Her: Because you have a dog…and house in Australia…and ok I admit you are kinda hot
| Hey, I need to know. What’s your schedule like this week? | This message is a soft close. |
Her: I will know today…I think we need to sign those papers and resolve this
| Sure, I’ll talk to my lawyer and we can figure out a day today | This message keeps it light while continuing with the roleplay. It is also nonchalant and not too needy. A lot of guys can be too eager to meet up. |
Her: Ok, I hope you will behave
Her: I will try to be polite as well
| You know we are usually trouble together, I hope you can control yourself 😏 | This message makes the conversation more sexual while holding onto the prize frame. |
Her: I would never touch you after she did…so don’t worry
| Only you can touch me till the divorce is finalized | In this message, he pulls back and leaves room for her to chase, which she does in her next message, implying they should have sex. |
Her: No no after the divorce it would be more fun and exciting
| Don’t tempt me. You know I’m the last guy you would want to tease | |
Her: Hmmmm when it comes to sex…babe we could have done it better…maybe after the divorce we would do it right
| I agree the passion was gone. After the divorce we’ll get back to squirting and multiple orgasms | This message portrays his sexual value. |
Her: Hmmmm we will see I will probably still smell her on you 😭
| She will never smell as good as you. BTW I had deleted your number, what is it now? | This is a fun way to get her number that is in keeping with the role play. |
Her: I have to talk to my lawyer to see if I can give you my number…I changed it because of you you know
| Oh? | |
Her: Yeah yeah…you don’t remember all those drunk calls
Her: (Her name) take me back…yeah so I changed it
| Are you sober now (her name) | |
Her: Yes why?
| Perfect. I’m glad you got over your problem. Really took a toll | This message flips the frame on her. |
Her: I started drinking just because of your nymphomania
| You worked too much and I was hungry for that delicious pussy | This message keeps the sexual tone. |
Her: I don’t know what I saw in you…
Her: We need to end this
| Yeah we should get this divorce sorted fast. We need closure. Number? | |
Her: (her phone number)
| Hey is this the ex wife that loves multiple screaming orgasms? | Instead of going back to square one with the messaging, he uses callback humor to open on text. |
Her: Yes my crazy ex…but what about whatss
Her: You don’t have WhatsApp
| ?Yeah it’s (his phone number) |