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put through .

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Fortunately , however , the fashion for Victorian

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architecture which Mr. John Betjeman had

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started several decades before had caught on

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at last and therefore saved the situation for

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the affluent middle-class , who now had plenty

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of lovely-ugly to be coldly elegant in . All this

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Serena discovered , and more , but in stages . For the

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first thing she did was to make an offer

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on a small pink terraced cottage , two beds ,

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two inter-comm. rec. , mod. k. and b. , sep. W.C.

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small back yard , newly dec. , near shops and tube

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The next thing that Serena discovered was that

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she could not afford to buy a house at all .

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And this in spite of having at last managed

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to save the ten percent needed . Or so she

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thought , being then in possession of what

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seemed to her the princely sum of six hund-

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red pounds . The lawyer said :

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" Of course you must count about two hundred

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for legal charges and stamp duties ,

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maybe less , depending on the price of the

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house , and whether it has been regis-

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tered . I take it you have a mortgage lined

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up , then , Mrs. - er - Buttery ? " " Not yet ,

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but the bank would give me a loan , I 'm

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sure . " " Er , yes . You have some securities ,

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then ? "

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His aspect was as dusty as his office , with scurf

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from dusty hair on the dusty shoulders of his black

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suit , cigarette ash down the front , an ashen face

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and yellow sleepy dust in the corners of his pale

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grey eyes . His finger-nails were dirty , though he

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tried to make up for it by constantly paring them

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with the finger-nail of the opposite hand .

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His voice was like his black and pin-stripe ,

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a grey superimposition of respectability over

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the original colour of his own natural vowels ,

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the result being somehow as ineffective , not

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just dusty-grey but muddy , slimy even .

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His digressions too , seemed to have no other

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purpose than the throwing of dust in his

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client's eyes , the dust of fake security , of

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the fake friend of the family , like the

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" Yes , well ... . " He judged that she had been sufficiently

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dazzled and gave a long raucous cough . " Only

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cigarettes worth smoking , these . Most unhealthy , English

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ones . Well , now , let me see . I think I can put you onto

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some people who might , I say might , let you have a mortgage on

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this property ... . " " But , they 're safe , are they ? I mean ,

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they 're not - money-lenders ? " " Mrs. - er - Buttery ,

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all mortgage companies are money-lenders .

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That 's rather the point , isn't it ? " " No , but I mean - "

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" I know what you mean . You may trust me , Mrs.

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Buttery . I think , however , that you might have

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to revise your ideas about - er - the type of

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property you intend to purchase . " She revised

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them . The little man from the Inter-Insular

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( British Archipelago ) Insurance Company soon

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saw to that .

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I 'm afraid we can't take yours into account

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at all . It 's a rule of I.I.I. You see , you

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might stop work to have - well , for all sorts of

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reasons , or you might leave him . " " But how

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utterly extraordinary , " said Serena angrily ,

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" you must be living in the nineteenth century . "

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" Oh , but it 's a very general rule , Mrs. Buttery ,

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you 'll find that no insurance companies ,

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or building societies , for that matter , will

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allow for the wife's earnings .

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Our lawyers - " " Who are your lawyers ? "

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" Clacton's . " " Well , I 'm damned . " " Now , let me see ,

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you say your husband earns about ... yes ,

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that would come to ... three , carry seven , six

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nines are fifty four - of course we 'd have to

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have some sort of proof , you know , it 's very

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difficult with self-employed persons , carry two .

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Yes . I 'm afraid we couldn't raise this loan to more

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than three thousand three fifty at the most . Now you

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could get quite a nice little semi-detached house in

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Grimstead for three thousand , that 's where I live , just

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before the green belt , lovely and modern , you know .

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I forgot to tell you , we don't usually lend any

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house built earlier than 1918 . "

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" You see , " she propounded to Rupert after her last patient

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had gone , " we can get three thousand three fifty ,

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perhaps a little more if we can cheat your earnings

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a bit . I 'm sure you could raise the rest from

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one of your publishers , get two books commissioned

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and write them later . I 've got a bit owing too .

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Now , I saw some flats in Hendon for four thou ,

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and some in West Hampstead for four two fifty ,

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two beds , two reception , k. and b. , just think ,

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our own bathroom .

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Much more spacious than that poky little cottage ,

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which wasn't a bit practical really , the

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reception room was too small when divided

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and too big when not .

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Vence is a sober spot , half way between small

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town and village , pigeon grey , sly with arches , and