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https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-natasha-santos-i-039-m-sorry-daddy/

Natasha Santos I'm Sorry Daddy Chapter 1 I'm sorry if I made you mad I'm sorry that I seemed to make you upset. I'm sorry for being a disappointment to you. If I could take back whatever I did to make you so angry, I would. By the way.... What did I do?!?! Why would you humiliate me like this?! Why would you expose me, violate me like this? How could you do this to your own child?! Daddy, why? Please, Dad, Not again PLEASE !! This isn't what other daddies do!!! Please! You've been drinking again! STOP!! When does it end? It won't end, will it? It will end if I told somebody. but will that really make it stop? Publication Date: November 25th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-xoxonatashaa

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-morgan-johnson-left-out/

Morgan Johnson Left Out It's all kind of a blur, really. I remember sitting in the rowboat with my parents, the fin, and those enormous white teeth. All that blood, has scarred my mind. Then, I remember waking up in the hospital. I remember a nurse telling me my parents are dead. I have to walk with crutches for the rest of my life. Ever since that shark attack, my boyfriend left me and now no one's my friend. It's always a bad thing when someone gets me as a partner. Soon, I became emo. I mean, what's the point of being happy when you have no friends and only one leg? I have to live with my Aunt Betty. She's trying to quit smoking, but she's too obsessed. I don't bother telling her to stop or hide the lighter, she'll just smack me in the face. She doesn't give a damn about what I wear, so at least I get to wear what I want. "Nikki! The damn bus is here, so get your ass outside!" Aunt Betty called. "Coming!" I yelled grabbing my backpack. I rushed downstairs to give Aunt Betty a hug. "Love ya, now get outside already!" I snatched my lunchbox from her hand and went outside. I got on the bus. Polly moved over to the seat across from the one she was sitting in. "Sitting alone again," I thought. Aunt Betty was outside. She waved to me. I waved back. At least she loves me. I had gotten used to the yelling by now. The bus stopped at the last bus stop. My ex-best friend came on. When she saw that I was sitting in the only free seat, she sat with the fourth graders. I sighed. This was not going to get easier in middle school. The bus pulled up to school, and I was the last to get off again. "Hey pogo-stick!" Ash called. They all call me pogo-stick. It's my stupid nickname now. His girlfriend Alayna cracked up. They kissed. I rolled my eyes and stuck out my tongue. I rushed to my classroom. I sat down and unpacked my bag. "Hey looky ere'! If it isn't pogo-stick!" Quincy laughed. He's Ash's friend. Part of his little "group." I put my backpack near the coat rack and sat down again. When everyone was here, Mrs.Sheldon gave us our reading tests back. Another F. Great, my forecast? A slap in the right cheek and possibly cigarette smoke. I jammed it in my folder. "Okay, I also have everyone's math tests," Mrs.Sheldon said. I felt good about the math test. I felt a high C is coming my way. Mrs.Sheldon gave me my test. I picked it up with high hopes. I frowned. A 59%. My right cheek is gonna be really red tonight. Just another reason to frown. My grades really piss Aunt Betty off. Once, my grade was so bad, I had to sleep in the doghouse. Literally. My Aunt Betty used to have this huge Great Dane, named Missy. I had to sleep in her old doghouse. Mrs.Sheldon came over to me and knelt down. "Sweetie, your grades are so bad, that you won't pass the fifth grade unless you pass the next reading test," she whispered. I frowned. I at least need a 70 on it. I nodded. Mrs.Sheldon patted my back and walked back to her desk. I sighed. "Ooh, looks like pogo-stick's in truuu-blllle!" Quincy whispered. "Shut up bitch," I whispered back. He chuckled. I lived through another day of bullying at school. I have a new record. Now, some of the fourth graders are calling me pogo-stick. Of course Ash's little sister and some of her friends. "Hey Aunt Betty," I said as I got home. "Oh, hey Nikki," she said, not even looking up from the mail. "Get invited to any birthday parties, did ya have an egg race and win, or uh, well what did you do today?" "I got an F on my reading test and a 59 on my math test, so basically I got two F's today," I said. Aunt Betty came over and slapped me, real hard. "You little idiot! You can't even try to get good grades?! Give me those damn tests," Aunt Betty yelled. Trying to hold back tears, I gave the tests. She scribbled her initials on them and threw them at me. I put them back. "Anything ELSE I need to know?!" she asked throwing her hands in the air. "Well, Mrs.Sheldon said I won't pass the fifth grade unless I get at least a 70 on my next test," I said, scared that she'll hit me again. "UGH! GO TO YOUR ROOM!" she screamed. I went upstairs and lied on my bed. Life is not easy for me. I took a short nap. An hour or so later, Aunt Betty opened my door. She had a cigarette in her mouth. "Hey kiddo, sorry for screaming at you earlier. I just want my only young relative to have a good life," she said sitting next to me. Truth is, she's my mom's sister, and I have no siblings. We don't know about my dad's side. "It's okay, I guess I should try harder, especially since I'm possibly going to middle school next year," I said giving her a big hug. She hugged me real tight. I ignored her cigarette smoke. "Dinner will be ready in ten minutes, so you have some time to yourself. Love ya," Aunt Betty said walking downstairs. "Love you too," I said. I had some cuts on my arm from when she threw my tests at me. I decided to get out of the house for awhile. I grabbed my jacket and went outside. I saw a boy picking parts off of a leaf. I went over to him. "Um, hi," I said. He didn't even look up. I flicked his shoulder. "Um, hello? Are you ignoring me?" I said angrily. The boy stood up. "Sorry, I'm deaf, but luckily I can read lips. Actually, I can't even hear what I'm saying right now," he said. "Oh, um, I'm Nikki," I said, mouthing each word. "Thanks, you made that a lot easier," he said smiling. "My name is Brandon by the way." He glanced at my leg. "Sorry to ask, but what happened?" he said sitting down again. I sat next to him. "Well, early this year, my parents took me out to the beach. I wanted to see the fish so we went out in a small rowboat. We saw a fin, but we thought it was a dolphin. We were way off. Now, I'm living with one leg and my Aunt Betty," I said taking a leaf. I ripped it. "Oh, I'm so sorry," he looked at me with sympathy. "Hey, you have pretty eyes," he said. "Thanks, but they're just blue," I said. "They seem to me like a clear sky," he said, giving me a crooked smile. I tucked my hair behind my ear and blushed. Aunt Betty walked over to me. "Oh, there you are! Come on let's eat dinner!" Aunt Betty said grinning. "Okay, well I have to go Brandon. Meet me here around the same time tomorrow," I said. Brandon nodded and smiled. Brandon has shaggy brown hair and brown eyes. It's like he's not deaf at all. I wonder if I could ever be his girlfriend. I sat down at the table with Aunt Betty. I choked down my tofu and washed it all down with some pink lemonade. "Done already?" Aunt Betty asked with her mouth full. I nodded. When it was time for bed, I hugged Aunt Betty goodnight. "Night sweetie," she said jamming her box of cigarettes in her pocket. I got in bed and dreamed of Brandon. The next morning, I got up and washed my face. I was in my room picking my outfit when Aunt Betty came in, "Hey Nikki! I packed you a lunch today." she said. I smiled. I pulled on my Doc Marten boot. (I only have one leg, so I only need one shoe. That's given me a lot of closet space.) I went downstairs and made my breakfast, toast and a granola bar. After breakfast, I brushed my teeth and went upstairs to my room. About 20 minutes later, I heard Aunt Betty yell to me, "Nikki! Get your ass down here! The bus is here!" I rushed downstairs and hugged her. I grabbed my lunch and went outside. It was the same thing, getting bullied all day. "Okay, everyone, here is your final exam. Get at least a 70 and you can pass the fifth grade," Mrs.Sheldon said handing out the packets. Quincy raised his hand. "Yes Quincy?" "What if we get a 69?" "Um, I don't know, but don't try to find out," Mrs.Sheldon said. "You can start, class." I tried to concentrate, but Quincy was always tapping me and calling me 'pogo-stick'. I had enough. "Cut it out, you little turd!" I whispered. "Whateva'" he said. When I finished, I gave it to Mrs.Sheldon. She smiled at me and crossed her fingers for luck. After school I found Aunt Betty with some dude, smoking of course. "Hey Aunt Betty," I said. "Oh, hey Nikki," she said hugging me. "This is John, we were just talking about you." John smiled at me. I gave him a weak smile. They continued to quietly talk about me. I decided to go to that tree a little early. I sat down and took a leaf. Later, Brandon came and sat next to me. We talked for a bit, then he asked, "Nikki, I know this is sudden, but will you be my girlfriend?" My face lit up. I nodded real fast. He smiled and hugged me. We got up and held hands. "Aunt Betty, we're gonna go to the park," I said. "Okay, are you sure you can hold hands and walk with crutches at the same time?" I nodded. She winked at me. Brandon and I walked hand in hand. Maybe, my life got a little bit better. I know someone I can relate to. I smiled. This is great. Maybe I won't mind being called 'pogo-stick' anymore. Publication Date: June 2nd 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-puppyluv11

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-jgtbhs-life/

Jgtbhs Life Not The Life I Chose, But The Life I Got Prologue Before going back to the beginning, I'd like to tell you as the readers something about me. Ever since I started pre-school my life has been a hell! Please forgive me for my language, I've never really been one to cuss, but there really is no other way to put it from my perspective. My life was a sob story; only problem, I was the only one crying. I don't know if this book will be sad, or to you readers, sound like a "spoiled" little girl who had a different childhood than most other kids. Well maybe she didn't. How would I know, I've only lived the one. Growing up, adults always tell you to be yourself, and used phrases like "being normal is overrated," or "being different makes you special." When all we really want to hear is "things will get better, just wait a little while longer." Well, I did. I waited for eight years before things got better... Or so I thought. Thank goodness I was never physically bullied growing up, but words aren't too much better. The bullying stopped for me before cyber bullying rose to power. I feel so sorry for anyone who has to deal with that kind of torture. All I got we're words. Lots and lots of words. The biggest lie you're told when your little, (other than Santa) is "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Words hurt, sometimes even more than physical wounds. Bullying changes people and their view on life. They hear they're ugly enough and they start looking in the mirror to see a hideous person.. A child who grows up only hearing "You're dumb! You're dumb! You're dumb!" Will spend their whole life thinking they're dumb, and no matter how smart they are, or how hard they work will never look at themselves as smart. Bullying has that same effect if it goes on long enough. After bullying, I became more vulnerable, self-conscious, and more temperamental. Sure, I learned some lessons about life. You can't trust everyone, treat others as you want to be treated isn't always the case, and it's ok to cry. But at what cost. Some days I look in the mirror and see a loser. Some days I see and blossoming young women. Some days I just snap on any rude comment I get, others I just let it slide off my should (not really I just let it go.. for the time being) I try to forgive, but I never forget, and I use things against people who hurt me. Something's people say to me as a joke make me want to cry because that actually happened to me. I think sometimes I'm either bi-polar or depressed because great things are happening (or descent) and I can barely fake a smile, or that's all I can do. Now that I'm a teenager, I wonder if its all part of growing up.. It just seems like my friends don't feel the same way I do. Ever. Even if all of this just seems like junk to you as the reader, I feel like my story should be told. It's changed my life forever, and is a world-wide problem. Sure, my life didn't change overnight like some kids, or like in the movies, but for eight years I delt with on and off bullying while growing up. Starting school, going through the phases as my life changed. Now the cycle is coming back into high school. My friends are getting more fake, and cheap. And I feel like I've become some wanna be ditzy blonde. I don't know if the changes I've made over the last two years have been for the better or the worst, but I'm hoping to find out before I end up where I was before. Chapter One Well, when I was 4 (just like most others) I went to preschool. Yeah, yeah yeah, bla bla bla, etc. etc. etc. The only difference was, I had NO friends. I played by myself, and swung by myself everyday at recess. I was extremely shy. Like I wouldn't talk to anybody unless they talked to me first, even then I was too shy to actually make conversation. Publication Date: February 9th 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-jgtbhs112

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-skylar997-haunted/

Skylar997 Haunted Big Mistake Haunting Hour Sierra Costen was a nonbeliever of anything dark. She hated anything dark, mostly vampires and werewolves. She never knew that hating something would cause anything wrong. Big mistake. One night Sierra was reading a book about dogs. She was on her last page and she looked at the picture. The dog was bloody by the mouth, was bony, and was nearly on fire. She closed the book and ran out of her room. She went to go tell her sister. When she arrived at her sisters door there was a carving that said "KEEP OUT, OR DIE." She ran to her mom but nobody was in the house. She heard a sudden whisper,"you don't have to go, you can stay with me, forever and ever". She looked by her shoulder and then felt a push on her stomach, she fell into a chair. Something took the chair and her head hit the wall. She shouted,"STOP! STOP IT STOP IT!" She ran out of the house only to find a note on the door,"You can run, but trust me you can't hide. We know everything, where you are, what you think, what you say. We can hunt you down, and when were done, IT WON'T BE PRETTY!" She threw the note on the ground, it went into flames and disappeared. She ran to a neighbor, only to find another note,"Probably wouldn't want to open that door, we already took care of her." She breathed heavily knocking on every house nearby. She ran to a police station only to find a trail of blood, she followed it. She walked through the station finding bones along the way, human bones. She looked back making sure not to be followed when she bumped into a shadowy figure. When she turned around, she woke up. She ran out of her room looking for her sister and her mom. They were there, but they never answered her. She kept yelling,"MOM, YOU THERE! MOM!!!!! STOP PLAYING!" Soon her moms body turned to stone and Sierra ran out of the house. She ran to the police station and stared at the door. Her hand trembled as she reached for the door. She was about to open the door when she stopped. She remembered her dream and ran. Her energy ran out and she had to walk back to her house. After at least an hour of walking she found her house. She knocked on the door only to find something crawl in her sleeve. She stopped and hit her arm. She pulled up her sleeve only to find a black, bumpy bug on her arm. She looked as it's arms connected to her skin. The arms started to turn to what looked like vanes. She looked as blood came out of her body, and she blacked out. She woke up to be strapped in a hospital bed. A ghostly figure approached,"Aha, you got our bug eh?" She blinked to get her vision back and replied,"Who who are you? What am I doing here?" The ghostly figure pulled out a sharp figure and cut into Sierra's stomach. She felt nothing but his anger. The ghostly figure pushed it in as far as it would go. He then turned around to try and find the amnesia shots. Sierra clinched the knife and slowly pulled it out of her body. She threw it at the ghost, but it went threw him. He grabbed it,"Oh so you try and kill me huh? That won't be easy, only someone who believes me knows how to kill me!" She tried catching her breath as the ghost held the bug in his arms. He put it on her arm as it drank her blood. Her vision got blurry. She grabbed the bug and stuck her nail in it. She could not do a lot while strapped in a bed. It broke into pieces as if it was glass. She breathed heavily, she was so tightly strapped she could only get a whiff of air every minute. She thought,"If I give up my soul will rise to heaven, and I will see my mom and my sister! Wait, what if they're not up there yet and they're still alive!" She looked for the bug but she only saw glass. She picked up the glass and cut her strap. She ran as fast as she could out. She was halfway up the street when she was tripped and she fell on her face. She got up and put her hand on her face. She felt blood gushing out of her system. She looked back to see a black figure floating towards her. She ran as fast as her now disabled feet could go. She saw her neighbor getting out of her car. She ran to her neighbor. Her neighbor looked at her and screamed,"WHAT HAPPENED!" Sierra coughed and said,"No time run someone I mean something is following me!" She grabbed her neighbor and ran. The neighbor looked back to see nothing. Sierra felt her neighbor, Erica let go of her hand. Sierra looked back to see nothing but the road. Sierra looked confused as she murmured,"He was right.. there he was I mean.. huh?" She looked over to find her neighbor gone and the shadowy figure coming closer. Sierra ran to the police station which was opened. She ran in and hid behind a policemen. She then looked as the cop's head turned to face her. She looked up at the cop and ran. She ran to a holding cell, she was already trapped inside the station.So she locked herself in and hid in a corner. She cried as she felt a hand touch her shoulder. It was shadowy but it was a pure white. The white, shadowy figure whispered,"Im your guardian angel here to save you." The shadowy figure picked Sierra up and went out of the police station. She went into a hospital. Sierra looked at the figure and curiously asked,"Umm what are we doing here?" The shadowy figure turned black and replied in a deep voice,"Were here so i can kill you and eat your flesh." She squirmed as the figure stuck a shot in her neck. She blacked out, for it was an amnesia shot. She woke up to find herself strapped again in the same bed strapped even tighter. This time the bed was in a cell. Her vision started to clear as she felt blood pouring out of her neck. She covered it as it stopped. "well well well, thought you could escape? I told you, I know what you think, how you smell, I even know what you eat. Don't act like you don't know", said the ghostly voice. Sierra breathed heavily as the air began to smell murky. The ghostly figure then grabbed a knife and jabbed Sierra's stomach, the same exact spot. This time he did it at least three times. As he was going for a third she grabbed the knife. She used all her strength and broke the knife. When she looked at it, she had realized she had just made a big mistake. She broke the handle off instead of the vanguard. Escape The ghostly figure took the blade and cut across Sierra's stomach. Sierra's scream peirced the ears of the ghost. He jumped onto her stomach and started to jab Sierra in the head. In a whiff of air from Sierra she caught the blade once more. She starred at the blade as every breath she took the blade went closer. She held her breath as a tear fell from her eye onto the floor. Her arm began to shake as her strength began to dim. She felt the breath of the ghost blowing down onto her face. The deadly smell of blood went threw her nose. As she began to look at the ghost she felt comfort. She said to herself,"I have to find out who he really is, and im not going to give up". She began to pry the knife out of the ghosts hands and she broke it into two halves. She took the tip of the knife and threw it into the wall. It was almost like time stopped as she watched the knife slowly dig into the wall. She sighed in relief as she saw the blade was deep into the wall. The ghost couldn't pull it out. Her smile then went away as she saw the ghost disappear into the wall. He came out with the tip of the knife in his hands. As he ran towards her she began to cut the strap with the nearby glass on the ground. He threw the knife towards her as she turned around and catched it. She took the rest of her strength and cut her waste and legs apart. She threw the knife into the bars of the cage and the door threw open. She ran out and found that nobody was chasing her. The only one she saw was a man that looked awfully familiar. She turned around as she wiped her eyes to get a better look. Her vision cleared as she saw the mysterious man's face. It was her father, who abandoned her family at her birth. She was relieved yet angry. She ran towards him and gave him the biggest bear hug you could imagine. As she hugged him she couldn't feel his shoulder. She backed away as she saw the ghostly figure. He smiled and said,"Join me, your mom and sister already did". Ghost I sat there in shock as my hands started to tremble. I looked at his shadowy eyes. I looked deep into his soul. I had the feeling that I knew him. He seemed so familiar. Yet I don't know exactly who he is. I tilt my head as he runs towards me. He runs as fast as he can, yet it feels like time has stopped. All I see is an image of his ghostly body. I clear my vision and see a man. I see a man, I've... seen before. He runs his hands through my hair. A tear drops from his face. I hug him as I realize, this is my dad. He smiled and whispered,"My soul took over, since I passed. I couldn't bare to watch you every day, grow up. Finally my soul took over. I don't know how to control it, it's just I love mom, you, and your sister. My soul took their lives, and tried to take yours." I sighed in sadness, yet relief. I took the knife, smiled and put it in my chest. I fell to the ground as my spirit was lifting into the heavens. I watched as my dad flowed up with me. When I got there, I finally realized why family is so important to my dad. Nobody can replace anybody, so, when he died he left us behind. Feeling regretful and sad to see me cry myself to sleep every time the song (never grow up) by Taylor Swift comes on. I still kind of regret leaving my friends. Yet, family comes first. And im grateful for them, nobody can EVER replace them, or me. Publication Date: August 16th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-skylar997

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-k-hart-bittersweet-memories/

K. Hart Bittersweet Memories A way out As I approached his door, I mentally made a list of things to say to him. I also decided to torture myself with some stupid, unnecessary questions; Would it be rude to show up uninvited? What if he’s not home? What if he has somewhere to go? The what-ifs could’ve gone on forever but when I knocked on the door, they all seemed to just fade away. His little brother, Jimmy, opened the door. Jimmy was probably around ten years old but he acted a lot younger. “What are you doing here?” Jimmy asked with a look of confusion on his face. “I need to see him,” I said, implying his older brother. Jimmy raised and eyebrow before replying. “Okay. Sorry I didn’t know you were coming.” “I know. No one did.” “Alright well he’s upstairs in his bedroom. I’d knock first, you know, just in case.” I couldn’t figure out what he meant by “just in case” but I decided to do what he said. When I was walking up the stairs, I could feel the nervousness inside of me. The feeling twisted inside of me like lava inside of a volcano ready to erupt. I knocked three times quietly. I heard him get up from his bed. “Go away,” he said to me. I took a step back from the door, surprised. Then I remembered he wasn’t even expecting me. So he didn’t know it was me on the other side of that wooden door. “Ryder, it’s me,” I said quietly. I figured quiet was the best way to go. The door opened about a foot and a half and I could see him. Ryder was wearing a dark grey long sleeve shirt and dark jeans. His blonde hair was tucked under a black baseball cap. I couldn’t begin to think of a reason for him to be wearing a long sleeve shirt in the hot weather. It was almost ninety degrees out. “What the hell are you doing here?” Ryder asked me. His voice was quiet and rude. “I just wanted to see you. Why? What’s going on?” Sudden concern filled me. “You can’t be here.” “Why?” “You just can’t. Do my parents know you’re here?” His eyes kept moving up and down the hallway. “No. Jimmy let me in.” “Is he the only one that knows you’re here?” “Yeah.” I nodded. Ryder grabbed my wrist and pulled my into his bedroom and shut the door behind me. Then he reached up and slid a lock over. “Why’d you lock it?” I asked. “Actually I believe the question is why the hell are you here? You didn’t call. I wasn’t expecting you. You cannot be here.” He sounded really angry and I was almost scared. “I’m sorry. I thought you’d be happy to see me.” “I’m sorry,” he said, seeing the look on my face. “it just caught me off guard.” “It’s fine. Why are you wearing a long sleeve shirt? It’s too hot.” At that he crossed his arms and pulled the insides of his wrists towards his body. Then a thought came over me. I figured it wasn’t true. It was just something from my crazy imagination. I tried and tried to push the thought away but it didn’t work. I knew I had to see his wrists to prove myself wrong. I grabbed his wrists and pulled them toward me. To my surprise he didn’t resist. The blood was already soaking through his sleeves. I pushed his sleeves up revealing the deep gashes. I gasped and stepped back, dropping his wrists. “Ryder,” was all I could push out through my dry throat. “Melanie, look, its really complicated and its probably best you stay out of it,” Ryder said as he took off his shirt. “I’m not staying out of it. I don’t want to see you like this. I love you.” Ryder and I had been dating for over a year and we were crazy about each other. “I know but this is not going to be easy. There will be a lot of pain involved and trust me, you just being here is a risk. You are going to end up hurt. So you should just leave while you still can.” “No. Whatever is making you do that needs to be stopped. You need to stop. You’re going to end up killing yourself. And I don’t want that. No one does.” He laughed quietly. “That’s what you think.” I shivered as the blood dripped onto the floor from his wrists. “Ryder, why would you say that? Why did you do that to yourself?” “Because-” he stopped suddenly. “What-” He threw a hand up and covered my mouth. I stayed quiet. I could hear footsteps coming up the stairs. “Get in the closet, now! Be quiet and don’t come out no matter what,” he said as he pushed me towards his closet. I stood there in his closet as he shut the door. The was a crack where the door met the wall and I could still see him. He quickly put his shirt on and covered his wrists. Then he unlocked his door and lied on his bed. The door flew open so fast I thought it might come off the hinges. “What are you doing up here? I thought I told you to stack the wood!” It was his dad. He looked furious. For the first time, he looked extremely scary. Ryder got off the bed and stood up straight. “You did. And I stacked it all,” he said. He looked brave. “Boy, you better watch the way you speak to me!” his dad yelled. “Okay, I’m sorry.” “Where’s your bike?’ he asked Ryder. It sounded like a pretty random question to me. “I don’t have one.” Ryder answered. “And why is that?” “Because I don’t want one.” Ryder said that with more attitude and I immediately felt scared for him. His dad raised his fist and made a growling noise before his fist came in contact with Ryder’s face. I stumbled back and covered my eyes. I couldn’t watch this. But I couldn’t stop myself. I peeked out into the crack again. Ryder was now lying on the ground, curled up in a ball. His dad kicked him in his back and sides. And when I thought it couldn’t get worse, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a knife. He leaned down towards Ryder’s side and made a deep gash in his left upper arm. The wound stretched from his shoulder to his elbow. “There,” he spat, “now maybe you have learned.” He walked out the door, slamming it behind him, leaving Ryder bleeding on the floor. As soon as the door shut and the footsteps faded away, I got out of the closet and went to Ryder. He was still but I could se the unsteady rise and fall of his chest. His arm was pouring blood. I reached over and touched his face. Then he rolled over and looked up at me. “Go,” he said. His voice was rough. “Ryder, no. I’m not leaving you here. You cant stay here. Just -” “Melanie! Go. Now.” “Not without you. I will not let you stay here with him. Come stay with me.” “I can’t. I’m not leaving Jimmy.” “Jimmy can come too. There’s enough room. Please. I’m not leaving without you. Just come with me.” He sat up with a groan and grabbed my hand. “Fine,” he said finally with a light laugh. “Stay here. I got to get Jimmy.” He stood up and wiped of his arm. Then he limped out the door and down the stairs. Ryder and Jimmy walked into the room and they each grabbed a duffel bag. They started stuffing them full of clothes and everything else they found on the floor. Then Ryder zipped both bags and threw them over his shoulders. “Ready?” he asked. Me and Jimmy looked at each other then both looked at Ryder. “Alright so dad went out back so that means we can sneak out the front. We have to be quick though.” I nodded at followed him and Jimmy out the door and down the stairs. Images: http://www.google.com/imgres?hl=en&sa=X&gbv=2&tbs=ic:gray&tbm=isch&tbnid=CSdubEwqZ99NvM:&imgrefurl=http://favim.com/image/64510/&docid=YscH0gvedeQaLM&imgurl=http://favim.com/orig/201106/02/couple-cute-embrace-hug-kiss-kissing-Favim.com-64510.jpg&w=500&h=374&ei=3TDlT7fiMu_I0AGohYHLCQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=198&vpy=95&dur=93&hovh=194&hovw=260&tx=108&ty=92&sig=112866228212832006865&page=1&tbnh=102&tbnw=133&start=0&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:0,i:135&biw=1229&bih=491 All rights reserved. Publication Date: June 22nd 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-hart611

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-tala-anderson-half-bred/

Tala Anderson Half Bred TO all my friends and family who I love!! BookRix GmbH & Co. KG 81371 Munich Chapter 1 Chapter 1    Unloved   Mist's prov           When I was young my Parents were killed by hunters. All of the blood I saw. I was so scared and didn't know what to do. The man was walking toward me teasing and tanting me said "Come here my little kitty!!" I was so scared that I jumped at him with my neals fully extended and clawed his face he fell backward. Finaly finding my way. I was lucky to get away with my life.           After the hunters left to look for me I went back to finded my mom and dad dead. I was alone with no where to go. I lived on the streets of a small town called Frontner for months all the kids would through rocks and other stuff at me thay would call me things like freek and weirdo and monster and other very mean things.           One night I was looking through some trash for something to eat when some one came up behind me and tapped me on the sholder. I jumped and hid behind the trash can. Then I heard a vioce that said "it's ok i wont heart you." It was a young boy about my age. He asked "what are you doing in my trash? Are you looking for something? Or are you hungry?"           I slowly came out from behind the can and asked "who are you?" He answered very nicely "My name is Sean What is yours?" "Mist.." I said in a low voice. He then asked "are you hungry?" I slowly noded. He smiled and said " follow me but be quiet." I quietly noded and followed him. He lead me in to his house then handed me some food.           We walked back out side then I told him thank you. "Come to my house every night I will give you something to eat." He said in a really come but low voice. I then asked "Why are you nice to me?" He shruged and said "Why wouldn't I?" "Because I have a tail and cat ears. Im alot diffrent than you are."           He looked at me confusingly then said " I don't care what you look like or what you are we are now friends and that is that. I have to go before my mom finds out im out here. I'll bring you something to eat every night ok." " Thank you soo much."I hugged him then ran off with the bread and a apple.            Months passed and he tought me to read and wright. One night we were sitting there just talking when I heard a voice say "Sean get away from that thing." It was his mom. He keep his promise and told his mom no he wouldn't leave me so he just sat there and told her No over and over.            She grabed him and he fought to get released his dad came out and started to through stuff at me and yelled get out of hear you freek. I took of running a promised myself I would never agine make any friends or fall inlove or any thing I would just be alone forever.           Years passed and my life changed. I stated moving from place to place when i was 14. When I turned 17 I moved back to my old town. I was in 12 grade still. I got a job working at a shop and an apartment.           The first day of school I wore black jeans and a gray shirt my black zipp up jaket and my gray and black shoes. I had black hair and a white strip in the bangges. My eyes at the moment I guessed were gray cause I felt so nervous and depressed like always they also change color depending on my mood.            My nose and and ears were piriced with my favorit rings they were black dimonds very rair diomonds might I add. I wore my favorit black hat to cover my cat ears and my tail was stuffed in my pants leg and it was very uncomfterble to sit on, but I learned to get over it.           I rode my motercycle to school. It was in the middle of the school year so I was happy I had Awesome grades at my old school. I pulled up and got off my bike I pulled of my helmet and placed it on my bike. then grabed my gray and white bage and started toward the front of the school.           Everyone staring cause I spead through the parking lot  to park, but before I made it some girls walked up to me and nocked my books out of my hands and thay hit the ground. I was mad now my eyes turned red not glowing red but red I looked up at the girl with my 'im pissed of face' and she just steped back and said "what is with your eyes freek." the word freek replayed in my head after that I picked up my books then headed through the doors.           I want to the front desk to get my timetable for my classes I had Science first period. Before I went to class I stopped by my locker I was told all the books I need were in there.           Classes flew by after that thin came lunch I sat at a table that was empty. Everyone just seemed to stare at me. Then walked it the chick from this morrning. Right up to the table I was sitting at she and said "What do you think you are doing??" I replyed very comly "Im sitting here eating my lunch and minding my on bizz. What are you doing?!" I asked with sarcasime in my voice.           Everyone was staring now. Even the teachers. The girl didn't now what to say. She then got out the words "Do you no who I am. If you do thin you should no you are siting in mine and my friends settes."           I got up and looked under and on the table then under the seats and then sat back down and said with even more sarcasum in my voice "I dont see a name or any thing on the table!" She got even madder and was about to punch me while I wasn't looking but I caught her hand in mide swing. Then lifted my head to look at her.            That was when a teacher walked up and said "Ok now you two stop this. Clair you and your friends go some were else and sit down. tomorrow she won't be sitting here so go on now or ill call your dad."  The rest of the day went by and no one seemed to notice me.           My last class came which was History I walked in and handed the teacher my pappers. She looked up and said "Well, welcome Mist!" Then she turned to the class and said "Class we have a new student her name is Mist she just transfered here from california." She turned to me and asked "So Mist were where you born we are learning about diffrent peoples home towns?" I looked up and said " I was born here in Verginia."   "So you just moved back. How many times have you moved," she asked? I thought for a sec then said "To many times to count I went all over the U.S. I'v learned a lot of diffrent traditions in my travels."   "You and your family must have done a lot of moving?"  I sighed and then said "No just me." "O what about your family?" she asked with a confused look on her face. " They Died years ago when I was young."   "O sweety, I'm sorry I brung that up." I gave a half smile. "its all right Im over it."   Chapter 2 Chapter 2   Someone New Or Old   Sean's Prov            There is a new girl I'm my class. Her name was Mist. My thoughts drift as I try to remember were I heard that name before. But couldn't put a finger on it.           Then it hit me like a shock from lighting when she said she was alone. The girl from when I was younger, but this couldn't be her she didn't have a tail or anything like that other girl.             But I feel like I know her from some were. Through out the day I see her and she's alown like she doesn't even want to try make friends like she don't even talk to anyone.           Then she meets Clair and lets just say no one has ever talked to her like that. It happened a lot to day her and Clair yelling at each other.              I was about to head home when I saw Clair and her Football jokes messing with Mist's bike. I could tell that was a mistake. I watched as Mist walked out and when she saw her bike She looked pissed!           Clair with her happy self walked up and said with a I don't give a shit child voice, "O, no your bike in broken and you helmet is crushed!!" Her and her friends started laughing. I just shook my head then stopped as they did something unexpected. They all took a step back like they saw a ghost or something.             Mist said "You now what I think about girls or humans like you? Huh" Clair said in a real smart ass way "I don't care what, is a weakling like you suppose to do about it?" She spoke and said the laughter in her voice, "Come find out." and gave a devilish grin.           By that time a entire crowed had surrounded them. Clair took of her shoes then ran at her. But Mist did something no one expected she did a front flip over Clair and landed it. Clair turned around and said "how did you do that?" She then tried to hit her again, but like at lunch she grabbed her fist in mid swing like before, but this time she squeezed and twisted it.           Clair yelled out in pain then was punched her in the gut and she went flying across the ground people had to move out of the way to avoid being taken down by her.     Before long a teacher came out and started telling everyone to go home and for Mist and Clair to stop fighting. I new just by looking at them that no one would stop them in the future. Once eveyone had left it was just me and her in the lot. She was trying to fix her bike thought it seemed like it was no use.    I was amazed this girl could put up a fight like she did. But now I new not get on her bad side.     I jumped in my car and drove up beside her and asked if she needed some help. She had a weary look then agreed. Once I was finished fixing the bike I gave her a ride to the gas station. The hole way I couldn't get my mind of all thouse years ago and why this girl brought back the memorys.   After I droped her off to fual her bike it started to rain so I gave her a lift to her place then headed home! Thinking about both the MIsts my Childhood friend then the new girl, but it couldn't be could it.   Chapter 3 Chapter 3   A Friend Form The Past   Mist's prov            The class went on but for some reason I felt as if I was being watched. Like someone was staring a hole through me. But I ignored it. I figured everyone was staring at me after what happened in the lunch room. After school I went out side and found my bike knocked over and my helmet crushed.           The girls from this morning came up and said "o no your bike in broken and you helmet is destroyed!!!" Her and her friends started laughing. My eyes turned bright red a lot redder than before. They all took a step back.           I looked up and said "You now what I think about girls or humans like you? Huh" She said in a real smart ass way "Yea and what is a weakling like you suppose to do about it?"         "Come find out."  I told her with amusement and angery voice, and gave a devilish grin. By that time a entire crowed had surrounded us.           The smart ass chick took of her shoes then ran at me. I did a front flip over her she turned a round and said "how did you do that?" She then tried to hit me I grabbed her fist in mid swing like I did before. But this time i squeezed and twisted it.           She yelled out in pain I then punched her in the stomach and she went flying across the ground people had to move out of the way to avoid being taken down by her.           Then a teacher came out and started yelling "Young lady It might be your first day and all but you now have ISI tomorrow and Wednesday." I rolled my eyes and said "Whatever!"            The teacher just looked at me and said "look Missy loose the smart mouth before I call you parents." When she said that i just stared then blurted out. "Go ahead you wont get an answer. Cause last I checked there in the ground some were ok!" She just continued to stand there then said "o dear I didn't..."   I cut her off before she finish. "I don't need your pity ok." After a sec she turned and left telling everyone ot leave.           After everyone left I was stuck trying to fix my bike. I picked it up and tried to start it but it wouldn't start. Someone walked up and asked "Do you need some help with that?" I turned around and saw someone I thought I would never see.           He hadn't changed much he was the same boy I meet years ago other than he looked older and was a lot taller. With his broad shoulder and green eyes so green like grass almost. His sharp feature in his face and o so soft looking lips. They looked so kissable right then.            I didn't know what to say or even if he remembered me. He asks once again "Hay do you need some help?" I hesitated for a sec then said "O omm yea if you wouldn't mind."           He helped me fix it the wires, but all the gas was drained out of it so it still wouldn't start. He looked up at me then said "I can drive you to the closest gas station if you would like."           I started to say no but it started to rain. He looked at me like now do you want a ride. I thought for a sec about the rain it is coming down really hard and it's vary cold. Before I could say any thing he grabbed my arm and dragged me to his car.            I climbed in and said "Thanks for the ride." He smiled and said "no problem."  He really has not changed sense then. He is still that nice cares about everyone person. To bad he doesn't remember me. The ride was quiet for most of the way there.           Finally I broke it. "Sean..." I started to ask him if he remembered me but I couldn't. He said "yea?" "Nothing never mind." I was to afraid to ask him.            He looked over at me and said "You no you look just like a girl I new a few years ago." I looked at him and asked even though I knew who he was talking about.            I wanted to know if he could remember my name, "What was her name?" A smile came to his lips as he said, "Mist." He must of been thinking of the memories of us when we were little.           We were quite the rest of the ride. Sean got bored and turned on the radio the song Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift came on. That song reminded me so much about his promise   I remember tears streamin' down your face                                                                         When I said I'd never let you go,                                                                                         When all those shadows almost killed your light                                                                        I remember you said 'don't leave me here alone'                                                                       But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight   Just close your eyes                                                                                                             The sun is going down                                                                                                         You'll be alright                                                                                                                    No one can hurt you now                                                                                                    Come morning light                                                                                                               You and I'll be safe and sound Don't you dare look out your window                                                                                      Darlin' everything's on fire                                                                                                   The war outside our door keeps raging on                                                                              Hold onto this lullaby Even when the music's gone                                                                   Gone--   Just close your eyes                                                                                                               The sun is going down                                                                                                         You'll be alright                                                                                                                  No one can hurt you now                                                                                                     Come morning light                                                                                                              You and I'll be safe and sound, Ooh, ooh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,                                                                                                 Ooh, ooh, oh, oh, oh, oh    Just close your eyes                                                                                                             You'll be alright Come morning light,                                                                                       You and I'll be safe and sound    Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,                                                                                                             Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,                                                                                                             Ooh, ooh, ooh                                                                                                                     Oohhh.            We finally pulled up to the station and got what we needed. After we got the gas and returned to the school. It was still raining I quickly jumped out and grabbed the can of gas. He got out and held a umbrella over me so I didn't get wet. I finally finished refuelling my bike. I turned it on it worked perfectly.          I looked at him and he was grinning ear from ear. I asked him why he was grinning. he said in a weird voice "Nothing just a very beautiful girl that has to ride home in the rain." I just stand there then said " I'll be fine." that was when I sneezed lucky me.           He said "yea i'll take you home." With me being annoied I said "What about my bike." He gave me a look then went to the back of his car and came out with a Tarp or car cover and through it over my bike. "There, it will be fine I promise."             The words promise bounced around in my head. I remembered the first promise he told me. He said 'we will always be friends I'll always be here for you, I promise.' We got in his car and he did something I was not expecting He took his coat of and rapped it around me, and  asked "where do you live." I looked at him and said "Omm Country Sant the only apartment complex there." We rode in complete silence all the way there.           When we arrived we just sat there for a sec then he asked "so you live alone?" He asked in a soft voice "Omm yea... Look thanks for the ride I really appreciate every thing you did for me." I told him in a rush.           He looked at me confused and said "I didn't do much." I smiled and said "you did a lot more than you thank. I really think that girl enjoyed having you as a friend."             I handed him his coat and was about to get out when he said "Do you want to hang out tomorrow?" I stopped dead middle of getting out and said "I can't I'm sorry. Trust me it's not you. I'm just better of alone. besides I have to work tomorrow" I smiled then got out of the car. I got to my door of my apartment and went in side.            I went to the bathroom and undressed and turned the water on full heat then just sat there while the the worm water covered my body. My tail just swayed back and forth as goose bumps covered me it was great to just relax and just drift away. I couldn't get Sean's picture out of my head.           Finally I got out and put on a black tank top and some shorts then climbed in to my bed. And drifted in to a great sleep. I dreamed of my Sean. Of our past how he was so kind. And now returning to me.   Chapter 4 Chapter 4   Learning Love   MIst's prov             My two days in ISI passed and it was Friday at last. At lunch I decided to sit out side so I didn't have to listen to miss Smart Ass in there talking about me kicking her ass the other day. Lets just say she didn't look pretty any more, Laughed to my self on that joke.           I was just sitting there when Sean walked up, and sat down beside me. I looked over at him and like always he was staring at me. I decided to ignore him but that didn't work. He then asked me "do you want to hang out after school?"           I looked at him and said "your not going to leave me alone about this till i do are you." He grinned and said "Nope! You said the other day that you are better off alone. And that you had to work well you can call in sick and let me take you out tonight. And no one should be alone. So i'll keep asking you till you say yes. So will y...."           I cut him off be for he could finish his sentence and replied "FINE.." I then said "you can pick me up at 5 Ok." He smiled and said "Sounds good."     After school I went home and put on one of my shirts that said Watch it I bite and my hoody I pulled on some black jeans and my shoes and of course my hat.           After about an hour I heard a horn go off. I then a second later there was a knock at my door I opened it and found him standing there with his Brown hair all messed up I figured that was his style now. Green shoes, blue jeans and a dark blue shirt with a gray jacket over it. His Green eyes stuck out the most.           He grinned and asked "so what do you want to..." Before he could say anything else I said with a hint of happiness in my voice. "I no a place it's the perfect night for my favorite spot."             It was about a 20 minute drive there. When we drove up he looked at me and said "Your favourite place is the edge of the woods?" I laughed and said "Nope!" I got out and started to walk into the woods. After a second he followed.           We walked for a few minutes and he finally asked "where are you taking me?" I grinned and said "somewhere no one can here you scream!!" He stopped and had a confused look on his face.           I grinned and said "I'm just picking with you. When I was younger i came here all the time. Till I started travailing." We walked on for a little while longer then we stopped at a huge waterfall. It hadn't changed at all.           The water was crystal blue the moon shined off it perfectly. I looked over at him and said "What do you think? Beautiful right." Instated of saying any thing he just looked at the water fall in amazement.     After a while of listening to the leaves in the trees blow in the breeze and the evening birds sing there goodnight song and watching the water flow from the stream above. It was peaceful and calm.           I looked over at Sean he was looking up at the stars. I leaned back as well and looked up at the stars. Sean turned and faced me and said "Mist have you ever had a friend before?" I looked over at him and asked "What type of question is that?"  With a half grin on my face.           He then said "just answer the question." I blinked a few times and then said "yea a boy. Why do you ask?" He rolled over and just stared at the stars he never said anything else.             I lied there and by accident I fell asleep. I woke up and hour later and I felt warm and safe and something soft I thin noticed I had my head on Sean's chest I quickly jumped up and said "What time is it?"           He looked up at me and said with a blank expression on his face "Mist you have cat ears!" I grabbed my head and then noticed he was staring at them. I quickly grabbed my hat and took off in to the woods. Sean took off after me. Tears rolled down my face as the cold air blew.             I finally reached the car and tripped and hit the ground. Sean ran up behind me and said as he helped me up "I new it was you I just new it. Why didn't you tell me?"           I looked at him as he wiped the tears from my eyes. "Because I didn't want to remember the past. But the more I tired to stay away from you the closer I got and the more I remembered."           He raped his arms around me and said "Why didn't you come back? After that night I looked every where for you. I was scared something happened to you. I searched and searched every day and night looking for you but I never found you." He was crying now.           He leaned back and looked me in the eyes and said "Mist I loved you and I still do." I pushed him away and said "just let me go ok."             Before I got to far away he pulled me to him and kissed me. I felt the warmth of his hands on my face as he held me close.            I leaned back and said "I love you too. I've loved you ever since I meet you, but my life is nothing, but pain and hate. No one can love me without getting hurt and I can't think of you being one of the ones that get hurt or killed because of me. I just can't. Please just let me go." I pleaded with pain in my voice. I wouldn't be able to cope if something happened to him or to anyone else. Not again. No I wont go through that again.     The face he had made it even worse. I couldn't do this so I turned and was about to walk away with tears running down my face, but he grabbed me and turned me around so I was looking at him.           He had tears in his own eyes and said "No, i'm not letting you go again. I made a promise to you 12 years ago that I would always be there for you, and  i'm not taking it back you hear. I love you and there is nothing you can do about it. I was so afraid and scared I would never see you again when you left. I never slept, never ate I was only six and was love struck."           "I would always yell at my mom when she brought it up that I needed to forget about you that you were nothing, but a freak. I yelled at her and told her to never call you that. I would always sit on my roof waiting for the day you would show up. I waited years do you hear me years. To find you. I love you more than any thing I could ever think of. You are everything to me. I cant lose you. Not know, not ever! I love you Mist!" I had a smile on my face and tears in my eyes, once he finished his speech.             He pulled me back to him crushing my lips to his. His lips were soft and worm as mine fit perfectly to his. His hand held the back of my neck, while the other wrapped around my waist pulling me closer, if that was even possible. My arms moved up his chest and wrapped around his neck then running my fingers through his soft hair.           He slowly leaned back and we just stared at each other as  I asked with a breathy voice, "What color aremy eyes?"           He just looked at me then said "They're purple.. wait I thought your eyes were blue?" I laughed and said "they change colors when my mood changes. Red means I'm mad or pissed if there bright red, green when I'm sad and blue when I'm happy and... Purple when I'm in Love. I love you, Sean, and I always will." He smiled and then leaned in and kissed me again.            When we got home he walked me to the door and said "Can we hang at lunch tomorrow? You know I wont stop asking till you say yes!" He smiled so big and goofy I couldn't say no. I grinned back and replayed "What do you think?!"           Then I slipped in the door before he could reply. His face went from happy to confusion and back again. I couldn't do anything, but giggle till he finally left. Chapter 5 Chapter 5   Great time   Sean's prov           I finally found the girl from my passed and I was happy to find out she loved me after all those years even though it was heard for a while I think she was glade to find me even after she new who I was and never told me, but I understood why she never told me. She was mostly relieved that she had some one to love and who loved her back.          As we were walking thought the school people stair and Mist seemed not to like it then and idea hit me. We were walking to her bike when I asked "Hay are you doing any thing over spring break?"           She looked a little confused at first, but replied with something I was not expecting. "No not really but you should spend time with your friends and family over the break, but you can come and see me when every you want." I was shocked but didn't show it in stead I smirked at the thought of her still trying to be distant from people.            No one would be around for the spring break my forks are going out of town and friends really I only have 1 or 2 other than Mist.           So I say "The only one I want to spend time with is you I haven't seen you in years and besides my family's going out of town to my Aunts and my friends are going to see there family's or going on vacation. So I was wondering if you would like to stay with me till they get back?"            We continued on walking till we got to her bike. I just stair at her the whole time we were walking. She sat on her bike and thought about it for a sec.           Before she could say anything I spoke up "Look I know you have been through a lot and sometimes I fell it's my fought. I should of tried harder to find you I should have told my dad to stop and listen to me. I was wrong not to try and help you......" Before I could finish she put a finger over my lips telling me to shush.           I smile then kiss her finger and she seemed shocked I felt the small spark that hit and loved when that happened it did that every time we touched. Her shocked face faded and she looked happy with the grin she had on. Man do I love this girl.            I took her hand and we sat on the ground not far from her bike. She seemed a little uneasy till she saw we were alone.            We just sat there and stared at each other finally she looked away and said "Look it's not your fault, what happened, happened, and there was nothing you or anyone could do about it. And look im back now. I wont be staying long, but while I'm here I want to be with you so yes I will stay with you for the spring break OK so stop blaming your self. And smile!"  What did she mean not staying long but I pushed that to the side and gave her one of those I'm still upset but happy side ways smiled which made me look silly.   Mist's Prov           Days passed and every thing got better I was happy even though everything seemed like it would never get better I was to afraid that someone would find out what I truly was. Everyday at school people seemed to stare at me and Sean I didn't like the way they did but it only seemed like we were friends. At the end of the week Sean and me were walking out of the the school when Sean turned to me and said "Hay are you doing any thing over spring break?"           I stared at him confused at first then said "No not really but you should spend time with your friends and family over the break but you can come and see me when every you want."            He smiled and said in a com and smooth voice. "The only one I want to spend time with is you I haven't seen you in years and besides my family's going out of town to my Aunts and my friends are going to see there family's or going on vacation. So I was wondering if you would like to stay with me till they get back?"           We continued on walking till we got to my bike. He just seemed to stair at me the whole time we were walking. I sat on my bike and thought about it 'I don't know what to do all I want is to be a normal person and have a happy life but every time I get to now someone something changes or happens and I have to leave. I didn't want that to happen.            Before I could say anything he spoke up "Look I know you have been through a lot and sometimes I fell it's my fought. I should of tried harder to find you I should have told my dad to stop and lessen to me i was wrong not to try and help you......" Before he could finish I put a finger over his lips telling him to shush.           To my surprise he kissed my fingers and they felt as if little sparks were going of in my fingers. I smiled at the felling of knowing I was not alone. He took my hand an we sat on the ground I was happy no one was there or it would of been very awkward.            We just sat there and stared at each other finally I looked away and said "Look it's not you felt, what happened, happened and there was nothing you or anyone could do about it. And look I'm back now. I wont be staying long but while I'm here I want to be with you so yes I will stay with you for the spring break ok so stop blaming your self. And smile!" He gave me one of those im still upset but happy side ways smiled which made him look silly.           We got up of the ground and got on my bike I gave him a ride home I was lucky to get there before his parents got home. I walked him up to the front door before his mom and dad pulled up I quickly told him to call me then kissed him on the cheek before I took off to my bike.           I jumped on it and looked back at him and his parents. His mom looked shocked and his dad looked confused. But I did't care all I new was I had to get home. I quickly started my bike then took off.           Latter that day Sean called me and said "Hay so my dad and mom are leaving in the morning, but I wanted to know if you wanted to go somewhere to night?"           I was shocked at his question cause I thought he would of wanted to hang with his folks. I guess I got lost in thought for a sec cause he said "Hello!! You there!"           I jumped I'm my seat cause it startled me. "Oh yea om I'm here I just thought you would of spent some time with your parents? But look I'm going to just stay here to night so I can get my apartment cleaned up and some stuff packed OK, but we have all spring break to hang out kk. So do something with your folks and I'll see you tomorrow."            The phone went quiet for a sec then in a very disappointed voice he said "OK I understand I'll see you tomorrow get some sleep, and I'll call you tomorrow when they leave. Night!"  I new he was sad, but I had to get this stuff done my landlord will be here in the morning so I have to have this place cleaned. "Night! Love you!" With a sigh he said "I love you too!"           The next morning my landlord came and gone I got a passing check for the clean house another words I passed the inspection. A little later Sean called and told me to be ready that he was on his way. I ran to my bathroom and got dressed I put on a black t-shirt and some gray skinny jeans and a belt. I grabbed my jacket and put it on the jacket was plan black with a hood.         Instead of wearing a hat I just put up my hood. I put my hat in my bag along with all the other stuff I was bringing. There was a knock at the door and i jumped clear out of my shoes. I had been so nervous I was not paying any attention to what time it was  so I ended up landing on my face. I got to my feet and walked to the door.          When I opened the door it was Sean. He just stared at me in confusion then he looked from my eyes to my something on my four head. His eyes grow wide that was when I felt a sharp pain on my head.         "What happened your head is bleeding. Who did this to you are they still here. Are you ok....." He looked shocked. I turned around and ran to the bathroom he followed in after me. When I got to the bathroom I looked in the mirror and saw my head was bleeding.         I grabbed a wet rag and before I could do anything Sean turned me around and sat me on the tub and kneel down beside me with the rag in one hand and my hand in the other. After he cleaned the cut he too asked "where are some bandages?" "Over there." I pointed to the box on the sink. He grabbed it and put a bandage on my head.         He looked me in the face then said "Ok now tell me what happened." I rolled my eyes then said "It's nothing I was getting my stuff when you knocked I jumped cause you startled me and I fell off my bed and hit my head I didn't no it was bleeding. But I'm OK, I promise!"         He smiled and said "I didn't mean to scare you. But my mom and dad are gone so lets get going k!" He grabbed my stuff and I followed him out the door.         When we got to his house. He got my bag from his car and took it in to the house. I was still a little nervous cause it's been so long since I've been in here. The last time I was here was when Sean gave me something to eat when I was younger.         Nothing had changed since then. The walls were a deep purple color and the floors were tile and everything made that house look wonderful. We walked into the living room there was a love seat on one wall and a couch on the other. There was a coffee table in the middle of the room.         The walls were the same purple color as the rest of the house. I turned to Sean who was standing behind me and said "so were am I going to sleep?"         When he grinned my face went blank as he lead me to a small room with a bed that had black and grey sheets and a very beautiful bed frame and carpet that was pure white.         He sat my stuff on the bed then turned to me and said "This is the guest room but as long as you need a place to stay or any thing this is your room k." I smiled and walked up to him and put my arms around his waist and got on my tip toes and kissed his nose.         I moved my arms from his waist to his shoulders and he put his arms around me and spun me around and kissed me. We both fell on the bed and laid my head on his chest and we just sat there saying nothing. To tell the truth I was tired so very very tired and ended up falling asleep.         When I woke up Sean wasn't there and I was under the blankets. I got up and look around the room he was not there I herd something coming from the kitchen so I quickly headed down and found Sean facing the other way and decided to scare him.         Slowly getting closer I jumped on his back and he jumped. It was so funny   I fell to the ground laughing. I then noticed that he had spilled his drank all over him I just keep laughing I thought it was so funny.         He had a face that said 'I'm pissed but it was funny' Look on so I jumped up and took off out the kitchen he ran up behind me and grabbed me and swung me around then we both landed on the couch. We just sat there laughing he sat up and took off the soaked shirt and through it.         All I could think was 'OMG'. He saw I was staring and gave me one of those devil grins that could melt anything. And with a chuckle he said "Like what you see?!" I grinned from ear to ear and flipped him over the back of the couch he landed with a thud.         I laughed so hard. After a few secs he didn't pop him head back up. I quickly jumped up and look over he was just laying there. Jumped up thinking I hurt him. I ran to him and tried waking him up I started to think I knocked him out or something.         I jumped up about to grab the phone when he grabbed me and pulled me back down on top of him. At the same time I started hitting him and yelling "You scared the fucking hell out of me. You you ass hole." At the same time I was laughing.         We flipped and he started to tickle me. I was laughing so hard I was crying for him to stop tickling me. Finally he stopped and we just sat there staring at each other. I went to bed that night knowing this was were I was suppose to be. Just for now I push all the pain to the back on my mind and was happy, drifting in to a sleep well needed.         A few days had passed and we just laughed and cut up the hole time. One night I was laying in the guest room and couldn't sleep. I crept out of the room and into Sean's room. He was all over the bed. I giggled at the way he slept.          I crept over and slid him over some so I had some room then claimed in be side him. I laid my head on his chest at the same time he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close to him. I fell asleep there felling  happy and safe.         The next day we were laying there in bed when there was a knock at the front door. Sean answered it and it turned out to be some of his friends. I quickly hid my tail and ears so they didn't see them. It only turned out to be his friend Josh. Who I new was a werewolf, but Sean didn't now so I told him I would keep his secret.         Josh gave me a hug and asked what I was doing here. I told him "I'm just staying with Sean for the spring break. He said that I should not stay at home alone all spring break." Sean turned around and said "You need to be around people more and not alone." I smiled and gave him and Josh a huge hug. Heck I think me and Josh squished Sean cause he turned really red. We both looked at him and busted out laughing. I new this was were I belonged. Chapter 6   Almost Lost   Chapter 6   Sean's prov           I have had a great time over spring break with Mist she is my world and my everything.         While we were laying in my bed. We heard a knock. Mist quickly hides her tail and ears before I opened it. It turned out to be Josh. He said hay and when he saw Mist he grinned and ran over to her and gave her a big hug.           What I could never figure out is why she's always calm around him like she wasn't scared of him finding out.    Josh asked "What are you doing here?" She grinned and said "I'm just staying with Sean for the spring break. He said that I should not stay at home alone all spring break." I turned around and said "You need to be around people more and not alone." she smiled and gave me and Josh a huge hug.            Heck I think her and Josh squished me cause I turned really red and couldn't breath. They both looked at me for a sec and started laughing. She was happy and I didn't want that to change.           We all hung out for the rest of the spring break. So it was a lot off fun. But all fun has to end sooner or later. It was Sunday morning and she finished getting her stuff. When we got to her house I got out her bag and stuff while she went to open the door.           Josh stopped me and we stand there talking for about 30 min. Then I felt sharp pains coming from my arms and legs on top of my head hurt. I thought it was just me till I heard someone scream and new who it was.           The one thing that popped in my head was Mist. Me and Josh dropped the bags and ran to her apartment the door was closed and locked and she just keep screaming.           Out of no where Josh is now a wolf and jumping through the window. I was so confused, but I cleared my head and jumped through the already broke window. Josh jumped on some guy I think in his 40.           I looked over to were Mist was and she was covered in her blood and tied to a chair. I ran over to her and untied her. "Come on lets get out of here." I picked her up and carried her to my car Josh ran over and climbed in as well.            Mist had passed out and I couldn't think of any were to take her. I new my parents would be home by now but I have no other choice. When we get there I rush past my mom with Mist in my arms she just starts screaming "what is going on here. What is she....."            She broke off when she saw Mist's ears and tail. I laid her on my bed while I fought with my mom over how I need to get her out off here and that it was stupid of me to bring her here. My mom stormed out of my room when she saw Mist waking up.    I turned to Mist and said "How do you feel? I was so scared I didn't no what to do I was so scared I thought you weren't going to make it. I could feel every thing from being scratched on the legs to the arms it hurt so much I thought it was just me then I herd you scream and took off running."            She gave a weak smile then said "Wait you could fell all my pain?" Josh then walked in and saw Mist awake and said "hay how you feeling?"    She looked at him then said "I feel light headed that's all. Hay can I ask you something?" "Sure!" He said with a grin on his face. "How is it Sean can feel everything I can?"            He ran a hand thought his hair and down his face then said "So you want to no about the soulmate thing huh!" Me and Mist just looked at him with a confused look on our face I then said "the Soul what!!"           He let out a small chuckle then said "The Soulmate it's were someone finds there other half their true love there world and things like that there other half.  Well that is what You and Sean are. But for a werewolf like me its different we have mates sort of like soulmates but a little different we imprint on our mate so its a little different."            He told us about every thing and me I was completely confused with every thing that has happened to day. We talked about Josh being a werewolf and how Mist already new I was just so mad no one told me and keep it to there self no wonder they acted like the best of friends and Mist took to him quicker than others.            Mist ended up passing out again, and my mom came in yelling again. Finally I got her to let Mist stay. But she still was not happy about it.           Then when my mom returned with a bowl and water and stuff Mist did something that surprised me and everyone else. She changed the way my mom and dad felt about her with in an hour. Mist has always been that way. She can change just about anyone if she is around someone long enough.   Chapter 7   Chapter 7   Enemies from the Past   Mist's prov           Days past and we came closer, my life had changed in so many ways. I felt like I could be my self once again, but I knew I couldn't stay long I'v been so happy being with them, but I always feel like I'm being watched.           Like someone is waiting for the right time to strike. I could not understand what was going on, but I know I will find out soon.           One day after school I went home and found the door wide open. I walked in and looked around then I was hit by something or someone.           Flashes of my past went through my head. I saw my mom and dad's face. Then I saw Sean and his family. Sean trying to get out of his mom's arms and his dad throwing stuff at me.            When I came too there was a man standing in front of me. He had dark brown hair and brown eyes and a scare that ran down the side of his face. I looked up at him and said with a weak voice "Who are you and what do you want with me?"           He kneel down and said "Well well well the cat that got away. So you really don't remember me. Let me refresh your memory a little. You sitting in the corner while your  mommy  and  daddy  being killed then little o you decided to be a hero and you cut my face. Remember now. Now it's time I have a little pay back. But before I kill you I want to have a little fun!"           He grinned and took a knife and cut my arms and legs then he took the end of the knife and hit me in the face with it.           Before he had a chance something came crashing through the window and through the man across the room. Sean jumped thought the window and ran up to me. Josh attacked the men and I don't no if they were killed or what.           Sean had a confused look when he saw Josh but snapped back and ran to me and and said "Come on lets get out of here." He untied me and helped me to my feet.            Josh had turned back and ran after us to the other side of the car and started it while Sean put me in the back. After seeing that I was being put in a car darkness was already taking over. Then nothing.            It was dark and a little girl was screaming I saw the blood and anger that took over the the room the mans face keep popping up in my head. I was trapped with no were to run.           Scared and alone as the girl I found to be me screamed to the top of her lungs as here mom and dad were being killed. Finally the pictures stopped and all was black and come then nothing.            When I came too and heard a female yelling to the top of her lungs. I looked up and saw Sean's mom and she kept yelling "I can't believe you brought it here and after what you just told me. You are putting your own family at risk."           I new that she was talking about me, but I didn't care all I cared was that my head was hurting and I wanted them to shut up. I then noticed I was in Sean's room I looked around the room and saw Sean sitting on the bed beside me telling his mom that I was family to and that he loved me and would do any thing to keep me safe even if it caused his life.           His mom just stared at me then looked at Sean and said, "just get her out of here. Now." Sean got up and said, "get out she's not leaving till I know she will be ok got it." His mom look shocked then turned and left slamming the door behind her.            Sean looked over to me and saw I was a wake and asked "How do you feel? I was so scared I didn't no what to do I was so scared I thought you weren't going to make it. I could feel every thing from being scratched on the legs to the arms it hurt so much I thought it was just me then I herd you scream and took off running."            I gave a weak smile that changed to a confused one and said, " Wait you could fell all my pain?" Josh then waked in and saw me awake and said, "hay how you feeling?"           I looked at him then said " I feel light headed that's all. Hay can I ask you something?"           "Sure!" He said with a grin on his face. "How is it Sean can feel everything I can?"           " So you want to no about the soulmate thing huh!" Me and Sean just looked at him with a confused look on our face Sean then said "the Soul what!!"           "The Soulmate it's were someone finds there other half the true love there world and things like that there other half.  Well that is what you and Sean are. But for a werewolf like me its different we have mates sort of like soulmates, but a little different we imprint on our mate so its a little different."           After being told about the Soulmates and other stuff  I understood. Sean was a little mad cause no one told him Josh was sort of like me, but now he understood why I felt calmer when I met Josh instead of being so scared and not talking to him.           After a while I started feeling light headed then every thing went black. When I woke up I was still in Sean's room, but this time it was quiet. I looked around finally my eyes meet Sean's.            He was sitting on the bed beside me. When he saw I was awake he wrapped his arms around me and said, "I thought you would never wake. I talked my mom into letting you stay here." Right then someone came through the door.            It was his mom she came in with a bowl and a rag and handed it to Sean then walked away, but before she could get to the door I grabbed her hand and said "Why don't you like me? Why do you think of me as a monster?"           She looked at me and said "I don't know, your just different and I don't hate you." I smiled and said "I might look different and I might be half Shape shifter, but I still have human blood flowing through my veins.          My mother was human and my dad was a full blooded Shifter, but they fell in love any way. They didn't care if they were different." She walked over to me and sat down and said "I'm sorry I guess I judged you by what you looked like, and not by your true self. I see now why my son helped you so many years ago." I smiled and pulled her close and wrapped my arms around her. After a sec or two she did the same.           I pulled back and finally got a good look at her. She had long brown hair. a vary pretty complexion. She was short and she had brown eye's.           Sean's dad walked in and saw me. His eye's got so wide. Sean's mom explained everything to him and he understood, and decided that what Sean did was the right thing and accepted it. From that point on every thing changed at least I thought. Chapter 8 Chapter 8   A Secret Revealed   Mist's Prov           Me and Sean went back to school and every thing got better. A lot  more people started to talk to me and everything was awesome. I felt excepted. At lunch I was sitting with Sean, Josh, and the rest of our friends when Clair came up and said to Sean "I see you and miss weirdo are together. I thought we were together."           Sean looked at her with shock written all over his face as he said, "we were never together or did we have anything. I said hay to you once that was it. You just thought you were just so cool you could have anything huh!"           Her face turned red then said "I beet yall haven't even kissed. You would parable gag if you did." He just starred at her then turned to me pulled me to him and kissed me deeply in front of everyone.           He pulled back and to look at me then turned back to Clair and said "I didn't gag or anything." She just stared at him and then turned and walked away. Everyone started to laugh at the fact that miss smart ass just got back talked no one did that to her except me and now Sean.           Latter that afternoon me and Sean were standing in my front door saying good bye. Be for he left he took my hat and held it over his head saying "if you want it back thin you have to kiss me!!" I smiled stood on my tippy toes to kiss him and while he wasn't paying attention I stole my hat back.           He said "hay cheater." I pulled him into a hug and said "by.." Before I finished talking I saw Clair with a her phone taking pics of me without a hat on and my tail wiping back and forth. I quickly took off down the stairs and tried to catch up with her.           I yelled "Clair wait you don't understand. Please wait." But it was too late. Sean ran up and said "She can't get far we can go after her.." "No it's alright I'll just have to move again just when I thought I could be happy." I ran up to my room.            Sean chased after me and said "Wait you don't have to go. It doesn't matter what you look like or anything you can just be your self. ok." I just cried and he held me close.           Finally when I finally calmed down I said, "fine if anything starters or anything I'm leaving I'm so tired of having to run." I leaned I'm to him and started crying again. After a while we said our byes and he left.           When I got to school the next day I was walking through the hallway when someone knocked me down and said "I thought Cats always land on there feet."           Everyone was laughing now even some of my friends were laughing. I quickly jumped up and made it to class. When I got there everyone just stared at me. I sat down by Sean and Josh, but everyone else moved away even two others that I thought were my friends. The teacher walked in and told everyone to quiet down.            As class started someone passed me a note. I opened it and and read 'Hay freak were can I get a tail and some kitty ears. HAHA MEOW MEOW!! What did your mom marry a cat.' I took the paper and crushed it. Sean looked over at me and saw that my eyes were going from green to red. He whispered "It will be ok I promise come down and ignore them OK."           The class started to Meow and joke and call me names. The teacher turned around and started yelling at everyone to shut up. Someone got up and said "Mr.Jaae I thought cats weren't allowed in school." As she said this someone ripped my hat of my head and everyone started laughing.           Before the teacher could do anything I jumped up and took off out the door with Sean and Josh on my heels. I ran half way down the hall when Josh caught me and Sean finally caught up I guess I was going to fast cause it took Josh a minute to catch me.           Sean came up to me and wrapped his arms around me and said "Josh you can head back to class now, thanks." Josh shook his head and said "No she's like family, you both are and if someone is bullying y'all there bullying me. So i'm not going any where." I pulled Josh to me and gave him and Sean a big hug at the same time and said "Y'all are the best."           We decided to skip that class. Sean said he would talk to the teacher about it so he didn't turn us in for skipping. At lunch we decided to sit out side to avoided running in to Clair. Well at least we tryed to avoided her.           Here she was comes with a grin on her face right up to Sean and said "So how is it dating a cat huh. You still love her now that she's a laughing joke through out the school." Sean just looked at her then said in a mad but calm tone "Look Clair I'm sick and tired of you bullying people mainly, Mist."         He just stared at her then looked in my direction then looked back at her and said "I'v new her since she was very young. I didn't care if she was different, and I still don't." Then Clair and some other people started to Laugh. They chanted Kitty cat Kitty cat MEOW MEOW mow mow over and over.          The sadness in my eyes changed to madness. I couldn't hold it in any longer Josh noticed and yelled "Clair you better stop you have no idea what she will do to you. You don't want to make her any madder." I could here a low grow escape my chested then I did something I hadn't done in a long time. Shifted right in front of every one.         I couldn't control it. I lunged at Clair as she screamed trying to duck, but Josh stepped in front and changed so he could block me from Clair. He yelled in my head 'STOP MIST CONTROL YOUR SELF NOW! IF YOU HURT CLAIR THEN YOU WILL BE KILLED AND HATED BY ALL. I NOW IT'S HARD, BUT YOU HAVE TO.'           After hearing that I turned and looked at Sean I could see the fear in his eyes. I let out a whimpered then took off into the woods. Finally making it to a tree to hid in. I shifted back and stayed there. Sean's Prov         Josh jumped in front of her and they just stude the for a sec till Mist backed down then turned to me with scared and sad eye's then took off in to the woods. I turned and took off after her but she was too fast.         I surched the woods for hours but could not find her Josh found me siting on a log and said "Find her yet?" All I could do was shake my head.           We surched the wood a while longer then Josh said "Just give her sometime to come down then go to her apartment and you will find her. As much as I wanted to fnd her now he was right.            Each day at school clair would make fun of Mist and say mean things about her and how she was not scared of Mist and stuff. But realy she was scared shitless. You could see it in her eye's.            At lunch she had the nerve to come up to me and start telling me that she was better then Mist and how she wanted to be with me and I got pissed and yelled "YOU WILL NEVER BE BETTER THEN MIST SHE IS SMARTER NICER SWEETER KINDER AND STRONG HEARED THEN ANY OTHER PERSON I KNOW YOU WILL NOT TALK ABOUT HER IN THAT WAY CAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW A THING ABOUT HER. I LOVE HER AND ONLY HER! GOT IT....... GOOD!" I said that with a pissed face and i ment it I grabed my bag and let the school I couldn't take it any more.   Mist's prov         I didn't see anyone for a few days I new they would all be scared of me even Sean was. As I lay there in my bed crying I herd a knock on my room door. I just sat there and acted as if it was nothing. Someone opened the door and walked in.            I looked up and said "Who.." I couldn't believe he was here. He sat on the bed. I felt his soft hands wrap around me and place me in his lap. And I cried on his shoulder. Why was he here he didn't care he was scared of me, but he was. I looked up and saw he was crying as well.           He pulled me close like he was never going to let go. I pulled back and said "Why did you come here." Helooked at me with a confused look on and said "why wouldn't I? I love you and never want to be away from you."             He kissed me and I said "I thought you were scared of me. You looked at me with so much fear in your eyes." He was now shocked and he shook his head and said "No I was scared I was going to lose you." I was happy and sad at the same time. But I didn't bother with it. I was just happy being back in his arms.           We laid there and said nothing I was just glade he was here and I was in his arms. I lay there finally letting sleep take me. I had dreams of him that night sweet happy dreams.  Chapter 9 Chapter 9  Back to school Mist's Prov         Time had passed and Sean finally got me to go back. As I was about to walk out the door, Sean walked over took my hat and made me change into some jeans and that had a hole put into it so that my tail showed. I keep telling him no that I couldn't go looking like this, but he wouldn't let me change.         When we got to school I looked over at him and said "I can't do this, please don't make me go in looking like this."           He smiled and said "it will be ok, I promise. I want people to see how beautiful your true self is." I shook my head and said, "there going to be scared of me after what happened last week. Can't I just leave and go home."           Without answering he got out and walked over to my side pulling the door open. "Look," he said, "don't listen to them. If you keep running all that will do is let them see that you are weak, and I know god damn well you are the strongest person I know. Even after Josh showed him self he still came. Yes people looked at him different, but he showed them he wasn't scared. Now it's your turn."          He took my hand and lead me out of the car. I new he was right so I held my head up high and we walked up to the front of the school. People stared, and whispered.           We walked up to the school entrance when the principle walked out and said "Mist may we have a talk to you in the office. Sean you can head to class.." Sean cut her off and said," If you have something to say to Mist you can say it in front of me."          She look pissed but just rolled her eyes and said, "Alright I guess there will be no harm in it." With that she turned and started to walk to the office.           I looked over at Sean to see him with a mad face as well. Grabbing his hand we headed to the office. Once we got there she told us to take a seat.                     "Ok so now that every one knows you are different you know that's not a good thing right Mist," she said looking any were, but my eye's which I new were wanting to go red.           I smiled and said in the calmest voice I could, "I'm sorry im not like all your other students. I tried to hide it, but hay when someone makes me mad and starts calling me stuff. I can't handle it, but no one else can ever find out and it cant get to the press nor can anyone out side of town find out. Please i've been running all my life and I cant keep going. I hate having to run." It wasn't till after I stopped talking did I notice I had started crying.             She gave me a smile then said " Tell me about your self and why you run tell me everything so I can help you." So I did. All the way from when my parents were killed to meeting Sean to what happened this past couple of months.             She told us she would keep it a secret and make sure everyone at the school did as well. I thanked her and she told us we could go to class. Everyone just stared, but no one said any thing.          When me, Sean, and Josh walked into the lunch room everyone turned to look at us. We just turned at headed to the lunch line to get our food.           Before I made it to my seat someone tried to trip me. Only this time I caught my self and my tray before it could hit the ground. I turned around to come face to face with one of the football jocks and his sluts.            I took my tray and dumped it on his head, and said " If you ever try to trip my ever again then you will get more than just food on your head. GOT IT!" He just nodded and took off to the bathroom to wash all the hot spicy food off his face. Clair walked up and said, "What now that you've got the whole school scared shit less of you, you just think you can do what ever you want. huh!!" Now I was pissed.           I walked strait up to her so I was looking her dead in the eye's and said, "look here bitch, If you think I wanted to be feared you are dead wrong. I wanted to be just like everyone else. Do you think I wanted to be born this way? Or to see my Parents murdered will I had to watch at the age of 5? Does it look like I could just I don't know pick my life? NO I have to live with this thought everyday." I stopped to take a breath as Sean wrapped his arms around my waist.            Then started yelling again, "I've lived by my self since I was 5 years old. 5 Clair. I was the freak of the town. No one cared if I no longer was there. Even Sean's parents called me a freak. So I ran. I lived Alone. I got a job some were no one new me I hide my true self so no one new I was different. I never stayed in one place never. I always ran."    "Did you know? No one did anything about my parents being killed. That the man who killed them is still out there right now looking for me. Well was looking for me he found me and now I'm stuck here scared he'll show up again to try and kill me and will most likely do it this time" I said as my rampage went on!     "If it wasn't for finding Sean after so many years I would be dead right now. I would of been still on the run. So no Clair, I would never of chose this life. There are only two things that make my life even worth it. Sean and Josh, and getting revenge on my parents," and it was all true and no one could tell me different!        Clair just looked at me with a dropped jaw. Right as she was about to say something back the bell rang. I turned on my heals and ran out of the Lunch Room.         And that's how the rest of the day went. I was either telling my story or yelling at someone for saying something out of line to me.            Latter that nigh Sean and me were lieing in bed with the sound of the night out side my window. Me in his arms I felt like notihng else mattered. Like no one could take this from me. I could say no one could, but then I would be lieing.           Someone could and that was the last thing I wanted. Sean was my everything I don't know were I would of been right know if I never would of met him. I new it would hurt him when I leave, but I can't stay I just couldn't.            Sean's voice broke my from my thoughts by saying, "I'm scared as well." I looked at him in confusion.           "What do you mean?" He look at me and replyed, " Im scared im going to lose you. That if that guy does come back that I wont be there in time. Im only a human. I dont have anyway to keep you saft. Im useless. I love you so much and there's no way I can keep you safe. No way to keep you from any type of harm."           I stoped him by saying " You are not useless. You might be human, and might not be able to keep me from any type of harm, but you have to remember my mom was human and my dad didn't care. He was stronger than that guy and still got killed. You are not useless. YOU have been there when im down. When all I want to do is die, you are there. If it weren't for you, I would of lost it. I would be running from everything."            Taking a breath I gave him a peck on the lips then continued "YOU showed me what it was like to love someone. To be happy. I feel like my life has changed so much. And it has all because I met you. Sean you are every thing to me. That's why I fell in love with you. God Sean I love you so fucking much. So don't go saying you are useless cause you are far from useless."           Sean pulled me into a kiss and said " I love you, too," aginst my lips. That night he showed me just how much he truly did love me, and I new there was no way I could leave him. He is my everything. My life. My Soulmate and my love. Chapter 10  Chapter 10         'Positive' O No         Mist prov           Two weeks have passed since that night. At school things are great. Many other students stopped being around Clair, Do to as they say 'She's not worth being around' or something like that! I really didn't care, and here i am waking up Monday morning running to the bathroom to throw my guts up!! Once I was finished I just sat there! I have been feeling sick, but I don't know. It's most likely something I've eaten recently.            I got up from the floor to get a nice hot shower. Striping the PJ I was wearing, and got into the nice hot shower. The heat feels good on my bare skin. Each drop was like a spark that woke my body from it's slumber. In other words it felt amazing.                Once I got out and dressed. I headed to the kitchen to find Josh sitting on my counter eating an Ice cream sandwich which so happens to be the last one in my freezer.    "JOSH,' I yelled, "THAT WAS MY LAST ONE!!" I ended up chasing him around the kitchen with a wooden spoon.            Josh yelled and laughs and teases saying stuff like ' what you going to do about it halfling' and calling me a rabid animal. After a while I finally caught him in a corner, and started to whack him with the spoon. He was yelling and telling me to stop as he laughed and tried to grab the spoon.            Our little seine was soon ended when someone cleared there throat and the smell of food hit my nose. I jumped up and took off to the bathroom throwing up my guts once more. Sean walked up behind me and held my hair out of my face. Once I finished I sat once again on the floor, with Sean sitting beside me.           "You don't look so good why don't you stay home and get some rest." Sean said with a cute little smile on, but I could tell he was worried. The look in his eye's gives it away as well as the filling I get.            I smiled and said, "No, I'll be ok. I have a test today anyway," getting up from the ground. I walked over to the sink to wash my mouth out, and brush my teeth.            "Do you want me to take you to the doc latter if you don't feel any better." he asked? I couldn't go to a human Hospital, that and I didn't want to know why I was sick, but I have a feeling I know why. "No, I'll be fine I think I just ate something bad and im having a bad reaction to it," I stated looking down at my feet. All he did was node. " I can't go to a human hospital anyway."   "Yea I know, I'm just worried about you," he said. I smiled and told him i would be fine. We both walked out to find Josh covered in chocolate. Well on his face anyway. Wait chocolate.... O'No he didn't. "Josh what did I tell you about getting into my food. THAT WAS THE LAST OF MY CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM!!!!!!" I yelled and whacked him again.           "Ow women stop hitting me, and what do you expect I'm a guy, who is in a house full of sugar. What do you think would happen to the ice cream," he asked with a smile on his face. "You owe me big time mister," I say as I turn and walk out the door! I can hear them both laughing behind me.    Sean's Prov           I'm worried. Very worried. Mist has been feeling sick for a couple days now and just to day she started throwing  up. I think she might be pregnant, but I'm not for sure.           All through out the day she has run to the restroom throwing up. I don't by it that she ate something bad. So not knowing what else to do, I turn to the only person I know that can help me. Josh.           During lunch I dragged him off to the side to ask him some think and to see if he could help me out!           "Hay I was trying to get something to eat," He said trying to walk off again. "Josh I need to talk to you, about Mist." I said. This seems to catch his attention. "What has that loser started back messing with her?" He asks. I hope he doesn't show up again if he does Im going to kill him.           "No, I need to know is there a doc I can take Mist too? She's been throwing up and I think she might be....... pregnant!" I said a bit hesitantly. When I said that his jaw dropped.            "Dude you and her had sex, and you think she's pregnant. Holy Shit I didn't see that coming! Wow I'm..." I cut of his on going rampaging saying, "Josh just answer the damn question."            "Yea, there is at my pack house. We have a pack doctor there." He finally said. "But how are you going to get her to go?"           "I'll think of something." I told him, walking away to go think. I might be a dad. I don't know if i'll be a good dad. I'm only 18. Ugh what have I done. Well I do know one think I'm not going to run, to be honest I hope she is. As long as I have her I don't care, and being a dad can't be that bad.                  Mist's Prov         It's been two days now and I've decided to take a test to see if i was right. I walked into the store and got three different types of pregnancy test. I kept my head down the whole time. I got weird stares from everyone in the store. Even the cashier gave me a look and said " I hope you have a nice life!" with the most sarcastic voice ever.           Once I got home I used all three two times. Don't judge me I have to be positive. I checked the box and it said to wait 5 min after taking test, so I made me a glass of water and waited.            My 5 min's was up, so here goes nothing. One look, and I could feel my heart stop. Tears came to my eye's and I slipped to the floor. What am I to do. Sean's going to leave me. As soon as I tell him, he'll push me away and run. I can't do this!! How could I be so stupid.            All six of the test were........ Positive! O' No          Chapter 11 Families the pack   Chapter 11   Mist's prov   How was I going to tell him. What was I going to tell him. What it he leaves me!! I don't want him to leave me! What am I going to do. What if that guy comes back. What if he kills my baby! What if I am stuck all alone I cant be alone during this. I'm so scared,but I have to stay strong. For mine, and the babies sake.   Taking a deep breath i calmed my self. I was sitting outside the school when Josh pulled up, and called me over. "Yea," I asked. "Get in your coming to the pack house with me," he replied. I just raised my brow at him confused, but got in anyways.   Half way there my curiosity got the best of me! So I asked, "Why are we going to your pack house?" I got no answer just silence. So i just dropped it. I was sure I could trust him!   About ten min. later we pulled up at a house that was about in the middle of no were! The house it's self was beautiful. It was a aqua blue, it had to of been at least three stories high. It was huge. The front yard was big no gate just open woods. You could see a garden to the side of the house, with so many colors of flowers all over. Vines running up the side of the house with roses of all colors on it. Then wild looking lilies all around a path that was made of stone leading to what I guessed was the backyard.I need to go walk through it later if I can.   I was broke from my thoughts of the house when something ran into my led. Looking down I came face to face with a little golden brown eyed boy with shaggy brown hair! The boy glanced back the way he came and yelped as he ran to hide behind me. Looking up i see a women about maybe a few years older than my self walking our way.   "I'm so sorry," she said with a beautiful sing song like voice, "he just wont take a bath and keeps running off!!" Scolding the boy with a single look then looking at me with a smile and said, "You must be Mist, I'm laycie, but you can call me Laya. And that little rascal there is Collen or CC as we call him. I'm his mother."   Smiling back I stick out a hand and say, " It's nice to meet you Laya, and your correct I'm Mist." She laughs and instead of taking my hand she pulls me into a hug. That was until she gasped and said, "Your pregnant. Why didn't Josh tell us. He never shuts up about you and Sean. Wow."   With a quick look around praying no one heard that I shushed her. She looked at me confused and asked, "You haven't told anyone yet, have you?" Shaking my head no, she smiles lightly and tells me "It's ok I wont, but you have to tell everyone soon! Don't worry, you'll be ok." I smile lightly at her about to reply when I hear someone calling my name. I freeze, ' O no I'm not ready to tell him, How is he here anyway, ' Laya sees my face and gives me an encouraging smile with a small nudge in his direction. Taking a deep breath I turn and walk up to him with my eyes on the ground,   As I gaze upon the ground, I can feel his eyes on me. Then his hand comes into view and he places it under my chin to make me look at him. He has a worried yet soft smile on his face. He pecks me on the lips then asked, " Mist will you please tell me what's wrong. I think I know, but I want to hear from you. I promise I want run, I will always stay by your side, Just tell me please,"   I know i cant keep it from him any longer so, gathering the strength i tell him. "Sean,,,,, I'm Pregnant..." My voice is small and weak, I'm scared of what he's going to say.   My eye's stay on the floor, and not a word is said. After a minute i was brought into a bone crushing hug and Sean yelling that he was going to be a father, My body shook with tear as he said this with nothing but happiness in his voice. Sean pulled away and looked at me an asked, "what's wrong love why are you crying. I didn't hurt you did I?" Worry deep in his voice. I smiled and said, "No I just thought you would leave me!"   "Why would you think that," he asked, then going on not letting me say a word, "I'm never leaving your side ever. I'll always be here for you. Through everything. We will be strong together. Cause I love you. I love everything about you, and nothing will change that. I made a promise all those years ago that if i ever found you I would never let you go. No mater what is thrown our way. Your my everything. Now this baby will be here, and I'll love him or her just the same!"   Through his whole talk I oucldn't help, but smile, and cry at the same time! He was just to perfect. I knew that this was just a start to a new happy life, but i also knew our heard times are not over with. So with my head held high. A smile on my face. I'll stay strong, and get stronger. So that nothing can stand in my way.     Epilogue Epilogue Two months later         It's been two months now that Sean and Mist have found out she is now expecting a baby. Everyone celebrates, and is happy, Even Sean's parents who recently found out about everything as well as the new addition to the family.          Mist is now showing a baby bump with a healthy baby within. The only thing is a Were's pregnancy only lasts five months not all nine. Luckly mist Doesn't have to drop out cause school only has a week left till graduation.          In the past month Mist becomes uneasy. Feeling as though she's being watched. She knows that he was still out there, and she was ready for him.  ____________________________________________________________________________   Hello to all you crazy foke out there. Just wanted to let you know that ill have book two up and going when i can. Also I need help on the title for book 2. I was thinking """ UNTAMED """"" What do you think. Let me know when you can....    Publisher: BookRix GmbH & Co. KG Implerstraße 24 81371 Munich Germany Editing: Thomas Anderson Publication Date: August 18th 2016 https://www.bookrix.com/-wjecd0c36487515 ISBN: 978-3-7368-6944-8

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-friedrich-schiller-the-piccolomini/

Friedrich Schiller The Piccolomini "Upon the whole there can be no doubt that this trilogy forms, in its original tongue, one of the most splendid specimens of tragic art the world has witnessed; and none at all, that the execution of the version from which we have quoted so largely, places Mr. Coleridge in the very first rank of poetical translators. He is, perhaps, the solitary example of a man of very great original genius submitting to all the labors, and reaping all the honors of this species of literary exertion." --Blackwood, 1823. PREFACE. The two dramas,--PICCOLOMINI, or the first part of WALLENSTEIN, and the DEATH OF WALLENSTEIN, are introduced in the original manuscript by a prelude in one act, entitled WALLENSTEIN'S CAMP. This is written in rhyme, and in nine-syllable verse, in the same lilting metre (if that expression may be permitted), with the second Eclogue of Spenser's Shepherd's Calendar. This prelude possesses a sort of broad humor, and is not deficient in character: but to have translated it into prose, or into any other metre than that of the original, would have given a false idea both of its style and purport; to have translated it into the same metre would have been incompatible with a faithful adherence to the sense of the German from the comparative poverty of our language in rhymes; and it would have been unadvisable, from the incongruity of those lax verses with the present taste of the English public. Schiller's intention seems to have been merely to have prepared his reader for the tragedies by a lively picture of laxity of discipline and the mutinous dispositions of Wallenstein's soldiery. It is not necessary as a preliminary explanation. For these reasons it has been thought expedient not to translate it. The admirers of Schiller, who have abstracted their idea of that author from the Robbers, and the Cabal and Love, plays in which the main interest is produced by the excitement of curiosity, and in which the curiosity is excited by terrible and extraordinary incident, will not have perused without some portion of disappointment the dramas, which it has been my employment to translate. They should, however, reflect that these are historical dramas taken from a popular German history; that we must, therefore, judge of them in some measure with the feelings of Germans; or, by analogy, with the interest excited in us by similar dramas in our own language. Few, I trust, would be rash or ignorant enough to compare Schiller with Shakspeare; yet, merely as illustration, I would say that we should proceed to the perusal of Wallenstein, not from Lear or Othello, but from Richard II., or the three parts of Henry VI. We scarcely expect rapidity in an historical drama; and many prolix speeches are pardoned from characters whose names and actions have formed the most amusing tales of our early life. On the other hand, there exist in these plays more individual beauties, more passages whose excellence will bear reflection than in the former productions of Schiller. The description of the Astrological Tower, and the reflections of the Young Lover, which follow it, form in the original a fine poem; and my translation must have been wretched indeed if it can have wholly overclouded the beauties of the scene in the first act of the first play between Questenberg, Max, and Octavio Piccolomini. If we except the scene of the setting sun in the Robbers, I know of no part in Schiller's plays which equals the first scene of the fifth act of the concluding plays. [In this edition, scene iii., act v.] It would be unbecoming in me to be more diffuse on this subject. A translator stands connected with the original author by a certain law of subordination which makes it more decorous to point out excellences than defects; indeed, he is not likely to be a fair judge of either. The pleasure or disgust from his own labor will mingle with the feelings that arise from an afterview of the original. Even in the first perusal of a work in any foreign language which we understand, we are apt to attribute to it more excellence than it really possesses from our own pleasurable sense of difficulty overcome without effort. Translation of poetry into poetry is difficult, because the translator must give a brilliancy to his language without that warmth of original conception from which such brilliancy would follow of its own accord. But the translator of a living author is incumbered with additional inconveniences. If he render his original faithfully as to the sense of each passage, he must necessarily destroy a considerable portion of the spirit; if he endeavor to give a work executed according to laws of compensation he subjects himself to imputations of vanity or misrepresentation. I have thought it my duty to remain bound by the sense of my original with as few exceptions as the nature of the languages rendered possible. S. T. C. WALLENSTEIN, Duke of Friedland, Generalissimo of the Imperial Forces in the Thirty Years' War. OCTAVIO PICCOLOMINI, Lieutenant-General. MAX. PICCOLOMINI, his Son, Colonel of a Regiment of Cuirassiers. COUNT TERZKY, the Commander of several Regiments, and Brother-in-law of Wallenstein. ILLO, Field-Marshal, Wallenstein's Confidant. ISOLANI, General of the Croats. BUTLER, an Irishman, Commander of a Regiment of Dragoons. TIEFENBACH, | DON MARADAS, | Generals under Wallenstein. GOETZ, | KOLATTO, | NEUMANN, Captain of Cavalry, Aide-de-Camp to Terzky. VON QUESTENBERG, the War Commissioner, Imperial Envoy. BAPTISTA SENI, an Astrologer. DUCHESS OF FRIEDLAND, Wife of Wallenstein. THEKLA, her Daughter, Princess of Friedland. THE COUNTESS TERZRY, Sister of the Duchess. A CORNET. COLONELS and GENERALS (several). PAGES and ATTENDANTS belonging to Wallenstein. ATTENDANTS and HOBOISTS belonging to Terzky. MASTER OF THE CELLAR to Count Terzky. VALET DE CHAMBRE of Count Piccolomini. ACT I. SCENE I. An old Gothic Chamber in the Council-House at Pilsen, decorated with Colors and other War Insignia. ILLO, with BUTLER and ISOLANI. ILLO. Ye have come too late-but ye are come! The distance, Count Isolani, excuses your delay. ISOLANI. Add this too, that we come not empty-handed. At Donauwerth [1] it was reported to us, A Swedish caravan was on its way, Transporting a rich cargo of provision, Almost six hundreds wagons. This my Croats Plunged down upon and seized, this weighty prize!-- We bring it hither---- ILLO. Just in time to banquet The illustrious company assembled here. BUTLER. 'Tis all alive! a stirring scene here! ISOLANI. Ay! The very churches are full of soldiers. [Casts his eye round. And in the council-house, too, I observe, You're settled quite at home! Well, well! we soldiers Must shift and suit us in what way we can. ILLO. We have the colonels here of thirty regiments. You'll find Count Terzky here, and Tiefenbach, Kolatto, Goetz, Maradas, Hinnersam, The Piccolomini, both son and father-- You'll meet with many an unexpected greeting From many an old friend and acquaintance. Only Gallas is wanting still, and Altringer. BUTLER. Expect not Gallas. ILLO (hesitating). How so? Do you know---- ISOLANI (interrupting him). Max. Piccolomini here? O bring me to him. I see him yet ('tis now ten years ago, We were engaged with Mansfeldt hard by Dessau), I see the youth, in my mind's eye I see him, Leap his black war-horse from the bridge adown, And t'ward his father, then in extreme peril, Beat up against the strong tide of the Elbe. The down was scarce upon his chin! I hear He has made good the promise of his youth, And the full hero now is finished in him. ILLO. You'll see him yet ere evening. He conducts The Duchess Friedland hither, and the princess [2] From Caernthen [3]. We expect them here at noon. BUTLER. Both wife and daughter does the duke call hither? He crowds in visitants from all sides. ISOLANI. Hm! So much the better! I had framed my mind To hear of naught but warlike circumstance, Of marches and attacks, and batteries; And lo! the duke provides, and something too Of gentler sort and lovely, should be present To feast our eyes. ILLO (who has been standing in the attitude of meditation, to BUTLER, whom he leads a little on one side). And how came you to know That the Count Gallas joins us not? BUTLER. Because He importuned me to remain behind. ILLO (with warmth). And you? You hold out firmly! [Grasping his hand with affection. Noble Butler! BUTLER. After the obligation which the duke Had laid so newly on me---- ILLO. I had forgotten A pleasant duty--major-general, I wish you joy! ISOLANI. What, you mean, of this regiment? I hear, too, that to make the gift still sweeter, The duke has given him the very same In which he first saw service, and since then Worked himself step by step, through each preferment, From the ranks upwards. And verily, it gives A precedent of hope, a spur of action To the whole corps, if once in their remembrance An old deserving soldier makes his way. BUTLER. I am perplexed and doubtful whether or no I dare accept this your congratulation. The emperor has not yet confirmed the appointment. ISOLANI. Seize it, friend, seize it! The hand which in that post Placed you is strong enough to keep you there, Spite of the emperor and his ministers! ILLO. Ay, if we would but so consider it!-- If we would all of us consider it so! The emperor gives us nothing; from the duke Comes all--whate'er we hope, whate'er we have. ISOLANI (to ILLO). My noble brother! did I tell you how The duke will satisfy my creditors? Will be himself my bankers for the future, Make me once more a creditable man! And this is now the third time, think of that! This kingly-minded man has rescued me From absolute ruin and restored my honor. ILLO. Oh that his power but kept pace with his wishes! Why, friend! he'd give the whole world to his soldiers. But at Vienna, brother!--here's the grievance,-- What politic schemes do they not lay to shorten His arm, and where they can to clip his pinions. Then these new dainty requisitions! these Which this same Questenberg brings hither! BUTLER. Ay! Those requisitions of the emperor-- I too have heard about them; but I hope The duke will not draw back a single inch! ILLO. Not from his right most surely, unless first From office! BUTLER (shocked and confused). Know you aught then? You alarm me. ISOLANI (at the same time with BUTLER, and in a hurrying voice). We should be ruined, every one of us! ILLO. Yonder I see our worthy friend [spoken with a sneer] approaching With the Lieutenant-General Piccolomini. BUTLER (shaking his head significantly). I fear we shall not go hence as we came. SCENE II. Enter OCTAVIO PICCOLOMINI and QUESTENBERG. OCTAVIO (still in the distance). Ay! ah! more still! Still more new visitors! Acknowledge, friend! that never was a camp, Which held at once so many heads of heroes. QUESTENBERG. Let none approach a camp of Friedland's troops Who dares to think unworthily of war; E'en I myself had nigh forgot its evils When I surveyed that lofty soul of order, By which, while it destroys the world--itself Maintains the greatness which itself created. OCTAVIO (approaching nearer). Welcome, Count Isolani! ISOLANI. My noble brother! Even now am I arrived; it has been else my duty---- OCTAVIO. And Colonel Butler--trust me, I rejoice Thus to renew acquaintance with a man Whose worth and services I know and honor. See, see, my friend! There might we place at once before our eyes The sum of war's whole trade and mystery-- [To QUESTENBERG, presenting BUTLER and ISOLANI at the same time to him. These two the total sum--strength and despatch. QUESTENBERG (to OCTAVIO). And lo! betwixt them both, experienced prudence! OCTAVIO (presenting QUESTENBERG to BUTLER and ISOLANI). The Chamberlain and War-Commissioner Questenberg. The bearer of the emperor's behests,-- The long-tried friend and patron of all soldiers, We honor in this noble visitor. [Universal silence. ILLO (moving towards QUESTENBERG). 'Tis not the first time, noble minister, You've shown our camp this honor. QUESTENBERG. Once before I stood beside these colors. ILLO. Perchance too you remember where that was; It was at Znaeim [4] in Moravia, where You did present yourself upon the part Of the emperor to supplicate our duke That he would straight assume the chief command. QUESTENBURG. To supplicate? Nay, bold general! So far extended neither my commission (At least to my own knowledge) nor my zeal. ILLO. Well, well, then--to compel him, if you choose, I can remember me right well, Count Tilly Had suffered total rout upon the Lech. Bavaria lay all open to the enemy, Whom there was nothing to delay from pressing Onwards into the very heart of Austria. At that time you and Werdenberg appeared Before our general, storming him with prayers, And menacing the emperor's displeasure, Unless he took compassion on this wretchedness. ISOLANI (steps up to them). Yes, yes, 'tis comprehensible enough, Wherefore with your commission of to-day, You were not all too willing to remember Your former one. QUESTENBERG. Why not, Count Isolani? No contradiction sure exists between them. It was the urgent business of that time To snatch Bavaria from her enemy's hand; And my commission of to-day instructs me To free her from her good friends and protectors. ILLO. A worthy office! After with our blood We have wrested this Bohemia from the Saxon, To be swept out of it is all our thanks, The sole reward of all our hard-won victories. QUESTENBERG. Unless that wretched land be doomed to suffer Only a change of evils, it must be Freed from the scourge alike of friend or foe. ILLO. What? 'Twas a favorable year; the boors Can answer fresh demands already. QUESTENBERG. Nay, If you discourse of herds and meadow-grounds---- ISOLANI. The war maintains the war. Are the boors ruined The emperor gains so many more new soldiers. QUESTENBERG. And is the poorer by even so many subjects. ISOLANI. Poh! we are all his subjects. QUESTENBERG. Yet with a difference, general! The one fill With profitable industry the purse, The others are well skilled to empty it. The sword has made the emperor poor; the plough Must reinvigorate his resources. ISOLANI. Sure! Times are not yet so bad. Methinks I see [Examining with his eye the dress and ornaments of QUESTENBERG. Good store of gold that still remains uncoined. QUESTENBERG. Thank Heaven! that means have been found out to hide Some little from the fingers of the Croats. ILLO. There! The Stawata and the Martinitz, On whom the emperor heaps his gifts and graces, To the heart-burning of all good Bohemians-- Those minions of court favor, those court harpies, Who fatten on the wrecks of citizens Driven from their house and home--who reap no harvests Save in the general calamity-- Who now, with kingly pomp, insult and mock The desolation of their country--these, Let these, and such as these, support the war, The fatal war, which they alone enkindled! BUTLER. And those state-parasites, who have their feet So constantly beneath the emperor's table, Who cannot let a benefice fall, but they Snap at it with dogs' hunger--they, forsooth, Would pare the soldiers bread and cross his reckoning! ISOLANI. My life long will it anger me to think, How when I went to court seven years ago, To see about new horses for our regiment, How from one antechamber to another They dragged me on and left me by the hour To kick my heels among a crowd of simpering Feast-fattened slaves, as if I had come thither A mendicant suitor for the crumbs of favor That fell beneath their tables. And, at last, Whom should they send me but a Capuchin! Straight I began to muster up my sins For absolution--but no such luck for me! This was the man, this Capuchin, with whom I was to treat concerning the army horses! And I was forced at last to quit the field, The business unaccomplished. Afterwards The duke procured me in three days what I Could not obtain in thirty at Vienna. QUESTENBERG. Yes, yes! your travelling bills soon found their way to us! Too well I know we have still accounts to settle. ILLO. War is violent trade; one cannot always Finish one's work by soft means; every trifle Must not be blackened into sacrilege. If we should wait till you, in solemn council, With due deliberation had selected The smallest out of four-and-twenty evils, I' faith we should wait long-- "Dash! and through with it!" That's the better watchword. Then after come what may come. 'Tis man's nature To make the best of a bad thing once past. A bitter and perplexed "what shall I do?" Is worse to man than worst necessity. QUESTENBERG. Ay, doubtless, it is true; the duke does spare us The troublesome task of choosing. BUTLER. Yes, the duke Cares with a father's feelings for his troops; But how the emperor feels for us, we see. QUESTENBERG. His cares and feelings all ranks share alike, Nor will he offer one up to another. ISOLANI. And therefore thrusts he us into the deserts As beasts of prey, that so he may preserve His dear sheep fattening in his fields at home. QUESTENBERG (with a sneer). Count! this comparison you make, not I. ILLO. Why, were we all the court supposes us 'Twere dangerous, sure, to give us liberty. QUESTENBERG (gravely). You have taken liberty--it was not given you, And therefore it becomes an urgent duty To rein it in with the curbs. ILLO. Expect to find a restive steed in us. QUESTENBERG. A better rider may be found to rule it. ILLO. He only brooks the rider who has tamed him. QUESTENBERG. Ay, tame him once, and then a child may lead him. ILLO. The child, we know, is found for him already. QUESTENBERG. Be duty, sir, your study, not a name. BUTLER (who has stood aside with PICCOLOMINI, but with visible interest in the conversation, advances). Sir president, the emperor has in Germany A splendid host assembled; in this kingdom Full twenty thousand soldiers are cantoned, With sixteen thousand in Silesia; Ten regiments are posted on the Weser, The Rhine, and Maine; in Swabia there are six, And in Bavaria twelve, to face the Swedes; Without including in the account the garrisons Who on the frontiers hold the fortresses. This vast and mighty host is all obedient To Friedland's captains; and its brave commanders, Bred in one school, and nurtured with one milk, Are all excited by one heart and soul; They are as strangers on the soil they tread, The service is their only house and home. No zeal inspires then for their country's cause, For thousands like myself were born abroad; Nor care they for the emperor, for one half Deserting other service fled to ours, Indifferent what their banner, whether 'twere, The Double Eagle, Lily, or the Lion. Yet one sole man can rein this fiery host By equal rule, by equal love and fear; Blending the many-nationed whole in one; And like the lightning's fires securely led Down the conducting rod, e'en thus his power Rules all the mass, from guarded post to post, From where the sentry hears the Baltic roar, Or views the fertile vales of the Adige, E'en to the body-guard, who holds his watch Within the precincts of the imperial palace! QUESTENBERG. What's the short meaning of this long harangue? BUTLER. That the respect, the love, the confidence, Which makes us willing subjects of Duke Friedland, Are not to be transferred to the first comer That Austria's court may please to send to us. We have not yet so readily forgotten How the command came into Friedland's hands. Was it, forsooth, the emperor's majesty That gave the army ready to his hand, And only sought a leader for it? No. The army then had no existence. He, Friedland, it was who called it into being, And gave it to his sovereign--but receiving No army at his hand; nor did the emperor Give Wallenstein to us as general. No, It was from Wallenstein we first received The emperor as our master and our sovereign; And he, he only, binds us to our banners! OCTAVIO (interposing and addressing QUESTENBERG). My noble friend, This is no more than a remembrancing That you are now in camp, and among warriors; The soldier's boldness constitutes his freedom. Could he act daringly, unless he dared Talk even so? One runs into the other. The boldness of this worthy officer, [Pointing to BUTLER. Which now is but mistaken in its mark, Preserved, when naught but boldness could preserve it, To the emperor, his capital city, Prague, In a most formidable mutiny Of the whole garrison. [Military music at a distance. Hah! here they come! ILLO. The sentries are saluting them: this signal Announces the arrival of the duchess. OCTAVIO (to QUESTENBERG). Then my son Max., too, has returned. 'Twas he Fetched and attended them from Caernthen hither. ISOLANI (to ILLO). Shall we not go in company to greet them? ILLO. Well, let us go--Ho! Colonel Butler, come. [To OCTAVIO. You'll not forget that yet ere noon we meet The noble envoy at the general's palace. [Exeunt all but QUESTENBERG and OCTAVIO. SCENE III. QUESTENBERG and OCTAVIO. QUESTENBERG (with signs of aversion and astonishment). What have I not been forced to hear, Octavio! What sentiments! what fierce, uncurbed defiance! And were this spirit universal---- OCTAVIO. Hm! You're now acquainted with three-fourths of the army. QUESTENBERG. Where must we seek, then, for a second host To have the custody of this? That Illo Thinks worse, I fear me, than he speaks. And then This Butler, too--he cannot even conceal The passionate workings of his ill intentions. OCTAVIO. Quickness of temper--irritated pride; 'Twas nothing more. I cannot give up Butler. I know a spell that will soon dispossess The evil spirit in him. QUESTENBERG (walking up and down in evident disquiet). Friend, friend! O! this is worse, far worse, than we had suffered Ourselves to dream of at Vienna. There We saw it only with a courtier's eyes, Eyes dazzled by the splendor of the throne. We had not seen the war-chief, the commander, The man all-powerful in his camp. Here, here, 'Tis quite another thing. Here is no emperor more--the duke is emperor. Alas, my friend! alas, my noble friend! This walk which you have ta'en me through the camp Strikes my hopes prostrate. OCTAVIO. Now you see yourself Of what a perilous kind the office is, Which you deliver to me from the court. The least suspicion of the general Costs me my freedom and my life, and would But hasten his most desperate enterprise. QUESTENBERG. Where was our reason sleeping when we trusted This madman with the sword, and placed such power In such a hand? I tell you, he'll refuse, Flatly refuse to obey the imperial orders. Friend, he can do it, and what he can, he will. And then the impunity of his defiance-- Oh! what a proclamation of our weakness! OCTAVIO. D'ye think, too, he has brought his wife and daughter Without a purpose hither? Here in camp! And at the very point of time in which We're arming for the war? That he has taken These, the last pledges of his loyalty, Away from out the emperor's dominions-- This is no doubtful token of the nearness Of some eruption. QUESTENBERG. How shall we hold footing Beneath this tempest, which collects itself And threats us from all quarters? The enemy Of the empire on our borders, now already The master of the Danube, and still farther, And farther still, extending every hour! In our interior the alarum-bells Of insurrection--peasantry in arms-- All orders discontented--and the army, Just in the moment of our expectation Of aidance from it--lo! this very army Seduced, run wild, lost to all discipline, Loosened, and rent asunder from the state And from their sovereign, the blind instrument Of the most daring of mankind, a weapon Of fearful power, which at his will he wields. OCTAVIO. Nay, nay, friend! let us not despair too soon Men's words are even bolder than their deeds; And many a resolute, who now appears Made up to all extremes, will, on a sudden, Find in his breast a heart he wot not of, Let but a single honest man speak out The true name of his crime! Remember, too, We stand not yet so wholly unprotected. Counts Altringer and Gallas have maintained Their little army faithful to its duty, And daily it becomes more numerous. Nor can he take us by surprise; you know I hold him all encompassed by my listeners. What'er he does, is mine, even while 'tis doing-- No step so small, but instantly I hear it; Yea, his own mouth discloses it. QUESTENBERG. 'Tis quite Incomprehensible, that he detects not The foe so near! OCTAVIO. Beware, you do not think, That I, by lying arts, and complaisant Hypocrisy, have sulked into his graces, Or with the substance of smooth professions Nourish his all-confiding friendship! No-- Compelled alike by prudence, and that duty Which we all owe our country and our sovereign, To hide my genuine feelings from him, yet Ne'er have I duped him with base counterfeits! QUESTENBERG. It is the visible ordinance of heaven. OCTAVIO. I know not what it is that so attracts And links him both to me and to my son. Comrades and friends we always were--long habit, Adventurous deeds performed in company, And all those many and various incidents Which stores a soldier's memory with affections, Had bound us long and early to each other-- Yet I can name the day, when all at once His heart rose on me, and his confidence Shot out into sudden growth. It was the morning Before the memorable fight at Luetzen. Urged by an ugly dream, I sought him out, To press him to accept another charger. At a distance from the tents, beneath a tree, I found him in a sleep. When I had waked him And had related all my bodings to him, Long time he stared upon me, like a man Astounded: thereon fell upon my neck, And manifested to me an emotion That far outstripped the worth of that small service. Since then his confidence has followed me With the same pace that mine has fled from him. QUESTENBERG. You lead your son into the secret? OCTAVIO. No! QUESTENBERG. What! and not warn him either, what bad hands His lot has placed him in? OCTAVIO. I must perforce Leave him in wardship to his innocence. His young and open soul--dissimulation Is foreign to its habits! Ignorance Alone can keep alive the cheerful air, The unembarrassed sense and light free spirit, That makes the duke secure. QUESTENBERG (anxiously). My honored friend! most highly do I deem Of Colonel Piccolomini--yet--if-- Reflect a little---- OCTAVIO. I must venture it. Hush! There he comes! SCENE IV. MAX. PICCOLOMINI, OCTAVIO PICCOLOMINI, QUESTENBERG. MAX. Ha! there he is himself. Welcome, my father! [He embraces his father. As he turns round, he observes QUESTENBERG, and draws back with a cold and reserved air. You are engaged, I see. I'll not disturb you. OCTAVIO. How, Max.? Look closer at this visitor. Attention, Max., an old friend merits--reverence Belongs of right to the envoy of your sovereign. MAX. (drily). Von Questenberg!--welcome--if you bring with you Aught good to our headquarters. QUESTENBERG (seizing his hand). Nay, draw not Your hand away, Count Piccolimini! Not on my own account alone I seized it, And nothing common will I say therewith. [Taking the hands of both. Octavio--Max. Piccolomini! O savior names, and full of happy omen! Ne'er will her prosperous genius turn from Austria, While two such stars, with blessed influences Beaming protection, shine above her hosts. MAX. Heh! Noble minister! You miss your part. You come not here to act a panegyric. You're sent, I know, to find fault and to scold us-- I must not be beforehand with my comrades. OCTAVIO (to MAX.). He comes from court, where people are not quite So well contented with the duke as here. MAX. What now have they contrived to find out in him? That he alone determines for himself What he himself alone doth understand! Well, therein he does right, and will persist in't Heaven never meant him for that passive thing That can be struck and hammered out to suit Another's taste and fancy. He'll not dance To every tune of every minister. It goes against his nature--he can't do it, He is possessed by a commanding spirit, And his, too, is the station of command. And well for us it is so! There exist Few fit to rule themselves, but few that use Their intellects intelligently. Then Well for the whole, if there be found a man Who makes himself what nature destined him, The pause, the central point, to thousand thousands Stands fixed and stately, like a firm-built column, Where all may press with joy and confidence-- Now such a man is Wallenstein; and if Another better suits the court--no other But such a one as he can serve the army. QUESTENBERG. The army? Doubtless! MAX. What delight to observe How he incites and strengthens all around him, Infusing life and vigor. Every power Seems as it were redoubled by his presence He draws forth every latent energy, Showing to each his own peculiar talent, Yet leaving all to be what nature made them, And watching only that they be naught else In the right place and time; and he has skill To mould the power's of all to his own end. QUESTENBERG. But who denies his knowledge of mankind, And skill to use it? Our complaint is this: That in the master he forgets the servant, As if he claimed by birth his present honors. MAX. And does he not so? Is he not endowed With every gift and power to carry out The high intents of nature, and to win A ruler's station by a ruler's talent? QUESTENBERG. So then it seems to rest with him alone What is the worth of all mankind beside! MAX. Uncommon men require no common trust; Give him but scope and he will set the bounds. QUESTENBERG. The proof is yet to come. MAX. Thus are ye ever. Ye shrink from every thing of depth, and think Yourselves are only safe while ye're in shallows. OCTAVIO (to QUESTENBERG). 'Twere best to yield with a good grace, my friend; Of him there you'll make nothing. MAX. (continuing). In their fear They call a spirit up, and when he comes, Straight their flesh creeps and quivers, and they dread him More than the ills for which they called him up. The uncommon, the sublime, must seem and be Like things of every day. But in the field, Ay, there the Present Being makes itself felt. The personal must command, the actual eye Examine. If to be the chieftain asks All that is great in nature, let it be Likewise his privilege to move and act In all the correspondences of greatness. The oracle within him, that which lives, He must invoke and question--not dead books, Not ordinances, not mould-rotted papers. OCTAVIO. My son! of those old narrow ordinances Let us not hold too lightly. They are weights Of priceless value, which oppressed mankind, Tied to the volatile will of their oppressors. For always formidable was the League And partnership of free power with free will. The way of ancient ordinance, though it winds, Is yet no devious path. Straight forward goes The lightning's path, and straight the fearful path Of the cannon-ball. Direct it flies, and rapid; Shattering that it may reach, and shattering what it reaches, My son, the road the human being travels, That, on which blessing comes and goes, doth follow The river's course, the valley's playful windings, Curves round the cornfield and the hill of vines, Honoring the holy bounds of property! And thus secure, though late, leads to its end. QUESTENBERG. Oh, hear your father, noble youth! hear him Who is at once the hero and the man. OCTAVIO. My son, the nursling of the camp spoke in thee! A war of fifteen years Hath been thy education and thy school. Peace hast thou never witnessed! There exists An higher than the warrior's excellence. In war itself war is no ultimate purpose, The vast and sudden deeds of violence, Adventures wild, and wonders of the moment, These are not they, my son, that generate The calm, the blissful, and the enduring mighty! Lo there! the soldier, rapid architect! Builds his light town of canvas, and at once The whole scene moves and bustles momently. With arms, and neighing steeds, and mirth and quarrel The motley market fills; the roads, the streams Are crowded with new freights; trade stirs and hurries, But on some morrow morn, all suddenly, The tents drop down, the horde renews its march. Dreary, and solitary as a churchyard; The meadow and down-trodden seed-plot lie, And the year's harvest is gone utterly. MAX. Oh, let the emperor make peace, my father! Most gladly would I give the blood-stained laurel For the first violet [5] of the leafless spring, Plucked in those quiet fields where I have journeyed. OCTAVIO. What ails thee? What so moves thee all at once? MAX. Peace have I ne'er beheld? I have beheld it. From thence am I come hither: oh, that sight, It glimmers still before me, like some landscape Left in the distance,--some delicious landscape! My road conducted me through countries where The war has not yet reached. Life, life, my father-- My venerable father, life has charms Which we have never experienced. We have been But voyaging along its barren coasts, Like some poor ever-roaming horde of pirates, That, crowded in the rank and narrow ship, House on the wild sea with wild usages, Nor know aught of the mainland, but the bays Where safeliest they may venture a thieves' landing. Whate'er in the inland dales the land conceals Of fair and exquisite, oh, nothing, nothing, Do we behold of that in our rude voyage. OCTAVIO (attentive, with an appearance of uneasiness). And so your journey has revealed this to you? MAX. 'Twas the first leisure of my life. O tell me, What is the meed and purpose of the toil, The painful toil which robbed me of my youth, Left me a heart unsouled and solitary, A spirit uninformed, unornamented! For the camp's stir, and crowd, and ceaseless larum, The neighing war-horse, the air-shattering trumpet, The unvaried, still returning hour of duty, Word of command, and exercise of arms-- There's nothing here, there's nothing in all this, To satisfy the heart, the gasping heart! Mere bustling nothingness, where the soul is not-- This cannot be the sole felicity, These cannot be man's best and only pleasures! OCTAVIO. Much hast thou learnt, my son, in this short journey. MAX. Oh day, thrice lovely! when at length the soldier Returns home into life; when he becomes A fellow-man among his fellow-men. The colors are unfurled, the cavalcade Mashals, and now the buzz is hushed, and hark! Now the soft peace-march beats, home, brothers, home! The caps and helmet are all garlanded With green boughs, the last plundering of the fields. The city gates fly open of themselves, They need no longer the petard to tear them. The ramparts are all filled with men and women, With peaceful men and women, that send onwards. Kisses and welcomings upon the air, Which they make breezy with affectionate gestures. From all the towers rings out the merry peal, The joyous vespers of a bloody day. O happy man, O fortunate! for whom The well-known door, the faithful arms are open, The faithful tender arms with mute embracing. QUESTENBERG (apparently much affected). O that you should speak Of such a distant, distant time, and not Of the to-morrow, not of this to-day. MAX. (turning round to him quick and vehement). Where lies the fault but on you in Vienna! I will deal openly with you, Questenberg. Just now, as first I saw you standing here (I'll own it to you freely), indignation Crowded and pressed my inmost soul together. 'Tis ye that hinder peace, ye!--and the warrior, It is the warrior that must force it from you. Ye fret the general's life out, blacken him, Hold him up as a rebel, and heaven knows What else still worse, because he spares the Saxons, And tries to awaken confidence in the enemy; Which yet's the only way to peace: for if War intermit not during war, how then And whence can peace come? Your own plagues fall on you! Even as I love what's virtuous, hate I you. And here I make this vow, here pledge myself, My blood shall spurt out for this Wallenstein, And my heart drain off, drop by drop, ere ye Shall revel and dance jubilee o'er his ruin. [Exit. SCENE V. QUESTENBERG, OCTAVIO PICCOLOMINI. QUESTENBERG. Alas! alas! and stands it so? [Then in pressing and impatient tones. What friend! and do we let him go away In this delusion--let him go away? Not call him back immediately, not open His eyes, upon the spot? OCTAVIO (recovering himself out of a deep study). He has now opened mine, And I see more than pleases me. QUESTENBERG. What is it? OCTAVIO. Curse on this journey! QUESTENBERG. But why so? What is it? OCTAVIO. Come, come along, friend! I must follow up The ominous track immediately. Mine eyes Are opened now, and I must use them. Come! [Draws QUESTENBERG on with him. QUESTENBERG. What now? Where go you then? OCTAVIO. To her herself. QUESTENBERG. To---- OCTAVIO (interrupting him and correcting himself). To the duke. Come, let us go 'Tis done, 'tis done, I see the net that is thrown over him. Oh! he returns not to me as he went. QUESTENBERG. Nay, but explain yourself. OCTAVIO. And that I should not Foresee it, not prevent this journey! Wherefore Did I keep it from him? You were in the right. I should have warned him. Now it is too late. QUESTENBERG. But what's too late? Bethink yourself, my friend, That you are talking absolute riddles to me. OCTAVIO (more collected). Come I to the duke's. 'Tis close upon the hour Which he appointed you for audience. Come! A curse, a threefold curse, upon this journey! [He leads QUESTENBERG off. ACT II. SCENE I. Changes to a spacious chamber in the house of the Duke of Friedland. Servants employed in putting the tables and chairs in order. During this enters SENI, like an old Italian doctor, in black, and clothed somewhat fantastically. He carries a white staff, with which he marks out the quarters of the heavens. FIRST SERVANT. Come--to it, lads, to it! Make an end of it. I hear the sentry call out, "Stand to your arms!" They will be here in a minute. SECOND SERVANT. Why were we not told before that the audience would be held here? Nothing prepared--no orders--no instructions. THIRD SERVANT. Ay, and why was the balcony chamber countermanded, that with the great worked carpet? There one can look about one. FIRST SERVANT. Nay, that you must ask the mathematician there. He says it is an unlucky chamber. SECOND SERVANT. Poh! stuff and nonsense! that's what I call a hum. A chamber is a chamber; what much can the place signify in the affair? SENI (with gravity). My son, there's nothing insignificant, Nothing! But yet in every earthly thing, First and most principal is place and time. FIRST SERVANT (to the second). Say nothing to him, Nat. The duke himself must let him have his own will. SENI (counts the chairs, half in a loud, half in a low voice, till he comes to eleven, which he repeats). Eleven! an evil number! Set twelve chairs. Twelve! twelve signs hath the zodiac: five and seven, The holy numbers, include themselves in twelve. SECOND SERVANT. And what may you have to object against eleven? I should like to know that now. SENI. Eleven is transgression; eleven oversteps The ten commandments. SECOND SERVANT. That's good? and why do you call five a holy number? SENI. Five is the soul of man: for even as man Is mingled up of good and evil, so The five is the first number that's made up Of even and odd. SECOND SERVANT. The foolish old coxcomb! FIRST SERVANT. Ay! let him alone though. I like to hear him; there is more in his words than can be seen at first sight. THIRD SERVANT. Off, they come. SECOND SERVANT. There! Out at the side-door. [They hurry off: SENI follows slowly. A page brings the staff of command on a red cushion, and places it on the table, near the duke's chair. They are announced from without, and the wings of the door fly open. SCENE II. WALLENSTEIN, DUCHESS. WALLENSTEIN. You went, then, through Vienna, were presented To the Queen of Hungary? DUCHESS. Yes; and to the empress, too, And by both majesties were we admitted To kiss the hand. WALLENSTEIN. And how was it received, That I had sent for wife and daughter hither To the camp, in winter-time? DUCHESS. I did even that Which you commissioned me to do. I told them You had determined on our daughter's marriage, And wished, ere yet you went into the field, To show the elected husband his betrothed. WALLENSTEIN. And did they guess the choice which I had made? DUCHESS. They only hoped and wished it may have fallen Upon no foreign nor yet Lutheran noble. WALLENSTEIN. And you--what do you wish, Elizabeth? DUCHESS. Your will, you know, was always mine. WALLENSTEIN (after a pause). Well, then,-- And in all else, of what kind and complexion Was your reception at the court? [The DUCHESS casts her eyes on the ground, and remains silent. Hide nothing from me. How were you received? DUCHESS. O! my dear lord, all is not what it was. A canker-worm, my lord, a canker-worm Has stolen into the bud. WALLENSTEIN. Ay! is it so? What, they were lax? they failed of the old respect? DUCHESS. Not of respect. No honors were omitted, No outward courtesy; but in the place Of condescending, confidential kindness, Familiar and endearing, there were given me Only these honors and that solemn courtesy. Ah! and the tenderness which was put on, It was the guise of pity, not of favor. No! Albrecht's wife, Duke Albrecht's princely wife, Count Harrach's noble daughter, should not so-- Not wholly so should she have been received. WALLENSTEIN. Yes, yes; they have taken offence. My latest conduct They railed at it, no doubt. DUCHESS. O that they had! I have been long accustomed to defend you, To heal and pacify distempered spirits. No; no one railed at you. They wrapped them up, O Heaven! in such oppressive, solemn silence! Here is no every-day misunderstanding, No transient pique, no cloud that passes over; Something most luckless, most unhealable, Has taken place. The Queen of Hungary Used formerly to call me her dear aunt, And ever at departure to embrace me---- WALLENSTEIN. Now she omitted it? DUCHESS (wiping away her tears after a pause). She did embrace me, But then first when I had already taken My formal leave, and when the door already Had closed upon me, then did she come out In haste, as she had suddenly bethought herself, And pressed me to her bosom, more with anguish Than tenderness. WALLENSTEIN (seizes her hand soothingly). Nay, now collect yourself. And what of Eggenberg and Lichtenstein, And of our other friends there? DUCHESS (shaking her head). I saw none. WALLENSTEIN. The ambassador from Spain, who once was wont To plead so warmly for me? DUCHESS. Silent, silent! WALLENSTEIN. These suns then are eclipsed for us. Henceforward Must we roll on, our own fire, our own light. DUCHESS. And were it--were it, my dear lord, in that Which moved about the court in buzz and whisper, But in the country let itself be heard Aloud--in that which Father Lanormain In sundry hints and---- WALLENSTEIN (eagerly). Lanormain! what said he? DUCHESS. That you're accused of having daringly O'erstepped the powers intrusted to you, charged With traitorous contempt of the emperor And his supreme behests. The proud Bavarian, He and the Spaniards stand up your accusers-- That there's a storm collecting over you Of far more fearful menace than the former one Which whirled you headlong down at Regensburg. And people talk, said he, of----Ah! [Stifling extreme emotion. WALLENSTEIN. Proceed! DUCHESS. I cannot utter it! WALLENSTEIN. Proceed! DUCHESS. They talk---- WALLENSTEIN. Well! DUCHESS. Of a second---- (catches her voice and hesitates.) WALLENSTEIN. Second---- DUCHESS. Most disgraceful Dismission. WALLENSTEIN. Talk they? [Strides across the chamber in vehement agitation. Oh! they force, they thrust me With violence, against my own will, onward! DUCHESS (presses near him in entreaty). Oh! if there yet be time, my husband, if By giving way and by submission, this Can be averted--my dear Lord, give way! Win down your proud heart to it! Tell the heart, It is your sovereign lord, your emperor, Before whom you retreat. Oh! no longer Low trickling malice blacken your good meaning With abhorred venomous glosses. Stand you up Shielded and helmed and weaponed with the truth, And drive before you into uttermost shame These slanderous liars! Few firm friends have we-- You know it! The swift growth of our good fortune It hath but set us up a mark for hatred. What are we, if the sovereign's grace and favor Stand not before us! SCENE III. Enter the Countess TERZKY, leading in her hand the Princess THEKLA, richly adorned with brilliants. COUNTESS, TEKLA, WALLENSTEIN, DUCHESS. COUNTESS. How sister? What, already upon business? [Observing the countenance of the DUCHESS. And business of no pleasing kind I see, Ere he has gladdened at his child. The first Moment belongs to joy. Here, Friedland! father! This is thy daughter. [THEKLA approaches with a shy and timid air, and bends herself as about to kiss his hand. He receives her in his arms, and remains standing for some time lost in the feeling of her presence. WALLENSTEIN. Yes! pure and lovely hath hope risen on me, I take her as the pledge of greater fortune. DUCHESS. 'Twas but a little child when you departed To raise up that great army for the emperor And after, at the close of the campaign, When you returned home out of Pomerania, Your daughter was already in the convent, Wherein she has remained till now. WALLENSTEIN. The while We in the field here gave our cares and toils To make her great, and fight her a free way To the loftiest earthly good; lo! mother Nature Within the peaceful, silent convent walls, Has done her part, and out of her free grace Hath she bestowed on the beloved child The god-like; and now leads her thus adorned To meet her splendid fortune, and my hope. DUCHESS (to THEKLA). Thou wouldst not now have recognized thy father, Wouldst thou, my child? She counted scarce eight years When last she saw your face. THEKLA. O yes, yes, mother! At the first glance! My father has not altered. The form that stands before me falsifies No feature of the image that hath lived So long within me! WALLENSTEIN. The voice of my child! [Then after a pause. I was indignant at my destiny, That it denied me a man-child, to be Heir of my name and of my prosperous fortune, And re-illume my soon-extinguished being In a proud line of princes. I wronged my destiny. Here upon this head, So lovely in its maiden bloom, will I Let fall the garland of a life of war, Nor deem it lost, if only I can wreath it, Transmuted to a regal ornament, Around these beauteous brows. [He clasps her in his arms as PICCOLOMINI enters. SCENE IV. Enter MAX. PICCOLOMINI, and some time after COUNT TERZKY, the others remaining as before. COUNTESS. There comes the Paladin who protected us. WALLENSTEIN. Max.! Welcome, ever welcome! Always wert thou The morning star of my best joys! MAX. My general---- WALLENSTEIN. Till now it was the emperor who rewarded thee, I but the instrument. This day thou hast bound The father to thee, Max.! the fortunate father, And this debt Friedland's self must pay. MAX. My prince! You made no common hurry to transfer it. I come with shame: yea, not without a pang! For scarce have I arrived here, scarce delivered The mother and the daughter to your arms, But there is brought to me from your equerry [6] A splendid richly-plated hunting dress So to remunerate me for my troubles-- Yes, yes, remunerate me,--since a trouble It must be, a mere office, not a favor Which I leaped forward to receive, and which I came with grateful heart to thank you for. No! 'twas not so intended, that my business Should be my highest best good fortune! [TERZKY enters; and delivers letters to the DUKE, which he breaks open hurriedly. COUNTESS (to MAX.). Remunerate your trouble! For his joy, He makes you recompense. 'Tis not unfitting For you, Count Piccolomini, to feel So tenderly--my brother it beseems To show himself forever great and princely. THEKLA. Then I too must have scruples of his love: For his munificent hands did ornament me Ere yet the father's heart had spoken to me. MAX Yes; 'tis his nature ever to be giving And making happy. [He grasps the hand of the DUCHESS with still increasing warmth. How my heart pours out Its all of thanks to him! O! how I seem To utter all things in the dear name--Friedland. While I shall live, so long will I remain The captive of this name: in it shall bloom My every fortune, every lovely hope. Inextricably as in some magic ring In this name hath my destiny charm-bound me! COUNTESS (who during this time has been anxiously watching the DUKE, and remarks that he is lost in thought over the letters). My brother wishes us to leave him. Come. WALLENSTEIN (turns himself round quick, collects himself, and speaks with cheerfulness to the DUCHESS). Once more I bid thee welcome to the camp, Thou art the hostess of this court. You, Max., Will now again administer your old office, While we perform the sovereign's business here. [MAX. PICCOLOMINI offers the DUCHESS his arm; the COUNTESS accompanies the PRINCESS. TERZKY (calling after him). Max., we depend on seeing you at the meeting. SCENE V. WALLENSTEIN, COUNT TERZKY. WALLENSTEIN (in deep thought, to himself). She has seen all things as they are--it is so, And squares completely with my other notices, They have determined finally in Vienna, Have given me my successor already; It is the King of Hungary, Ferdinand, The emperor's delicate son! he's now their savior, He's the new star that's rising now! Of us They think themselves already fairly rid, And as we were deceased, the heir already Is entering on possession--Therefore--despatch! [As he turns round he observes TERZKY, and gives him a letter. Count Altringer will have himself excused, And Gallas too--I like not this! TERZKY. And if Thou loiterest longer, all will fall away, One following the other. WALLENSTEIN. Altringer Is master of the Tyrol passes. I must forthwith Send some one to him, that he let not in The Spaniards on me from the Milanese. --Well, and the old Sesin, that ancient trader In contraband negotiations, he Has shown himself again of late. What brings he From the Count Thur? TERZKY. The count communicates He has found out the Swedish chancellor At Halberstadt, where the convention's held, Who says, you've tired him out, and that he'll have No further dealings with you. WALLENSTEIN. And why so? TERZKY. He says, you are never in earnest in your speeches; That you decoy the Swedes--to make fools of them; Will league yourself with Saxony against them, And at last make yourself a riddance of them With a paltry sum of money. WALLENSTEIN. So then, doubtless, Yes, doubtless, this same modest Swede expects That I shall yield him some fair German tract For his prey and booty, that ourselves at last On our own soil and native territory May be no longer our own lords and masters! An excellent scheme! No, no! They must be off, Off, off! away! we want no such neighbors. TERZKY. Nay, yield them up that dot, that speck of land-- It goes not from your portion. If you win The game, what matters it to you who pays it? WALLENSTEIN. Off with them, off! Thou understand'st not this. Never shall it be said of me, I parcelled My native land away, dismembered Germany, Betrayed it to a foreigner, in order To come with stealthy tread, and filch away My own share of the plunder--Never! never! No foreign power shall strike root in the empire, And least of all these Goths! these hungry wolves! Who send such envious, hot, and greedy glances Toward the rich blessings of our German lands! I'll have their aid to cast and draw my nets, But not a single fish of all the draught Shall they come in for. TERZKY. You will deal, however, More fairly with the Saxons? they lose patience While you shift round and make so many curves. Say, to what purpose all these masks? Your friends Are plunged in doubts, baffled, and led astray in you. There's Oxenstiern, there's Arnheim--neither knows What he should think of your procrastinations, And in the end I prove the liar; all Passes through me. I've not even your handwriting. WALLENSTEIN. I never give handwriting; and thou knowest it. TERZKY. But how can it be known that you are in earnest, If the act follows not upon the word? You must yourself acknowledge, that in all Your intercourses hitherto with the enemy, You might have done with safety all you have done. Had you meant nothing further than to gull him For the emperor's service. WALLENSTEIN (after a pause, during which he looks narrowly on TERZKY). And from whence dost thou know That I'm not gulling him for the emperor's service? Whence knowest thou that I'm not gulling all of you? Dost thou know me so well? When made I thee The intendant of my secret purposes? I am not conscious that I ever opened My inmost thoughts to thee. The emperor, it is true, Hath dealt with me amiss; and if I would I could repay him with usurious interest For the evil he hath done me. It delights me To know my power; but whether I shall use it, Of that I should have thought that thou couldst speak No wiser than thy fellows. TERZKY. So hast thou always played thy game with us. [Enter ILLO. SCENE VI. ILLO, WALLENSTEIN, TERZKY. WALLENSTEIN. How stand affairs without? Are they prepared? ILLO. You'll find them in the very mood you wish. They know about the emperor's requisition, And are tumultuous. WALLENSTEIN. How hath Isolani declared himself? ILLO. He's yours, both soul and body, Since you built up again his faro-bank. WALLENSTEIN. And which way doth Kolatto bend? Hast thou Made sure of Tiefenbach and Deodati? ILLO. What Piccolomini does that they do too. WALLENSTEIN. You mean, then, I may venture somewhat with them? ILLO. If you are assured of the Piccolomini. WALLENSTEIN. Not more assured of mine own self. TERZKY. And yet I would you trusted not so much to Octavio, The fox! WALLENSTEIN. Thou teachest me to know my man? Sixteen campaigns I have made with that old warrior. Besides, I have his horoscope; We both are born beneath like stars--in short, [With an air of mystery. To this belongs its own peculiar aspect, If therefore thou canst warrant me the rest---- ILLO. There is among them all but this one voice, You must not lay down the command. I hear They mean to send a deputation to you. WALLENSTEIN. If I'm in aught to bind myself to them They too must bind themselves to me. ILLO. Of course. WALLENSTEIN. Their words of honor they must give, their oaths, Give them in writing to me, promising Devotion to my service unconditional. ILLO. Why not? TERZKY. Devotion unconditional? The exception of their duties towards Austria They'll always place among the premises. With this reserve---- WALLENSTEIN (shaking his head). All unconditional; No premises, no reserves. ILLO. A thought has struck me. Does not Count Terzky give us a set banquet This evening? TERZKY. Yes; and all the generals Have been invited. ILLO (to WALLENSTEIN). Say, will you here fully Commission me to use my own discretion? I'll gain for you the generals' word of honor, Even as you wish. WALLENSTEIN. Gain me their signatures! How you come by them that is your concern. ILLO. And if I bring it to you in black on white, That all the leaders who are present here Give themselves up to you, without condition; Say, will you then--then will you show yourself In earnest, and with some decisive action Try your fortune. WALLENSTEIN. Get but the signatures! ILLO. Think what thou dost, thou canst not execute The emperor's orders, nor reduce thine army, Nor send the regiments to the Spaniards' aid, Unless thou wouldst resign thy power forever. Think on the other hand--thou canst not spurn The emperor's high commands and solemn orders, Nor longer temporize, nor seek evasion, Wouldst thou avoid a rupture with the court. Resolve then! Wilt thou now by one bold act Anticipate their ends, or, doubting still, Await the extremity? WALLENSTEIN. There's time before The extremity arrives. ILLO. Seize, seize the hour, Ere it slips from you. Seldom comes the moment In life, which is indeed sublime and weighty. To make a great decision possible, O! many things, all transient and all rapid, Must meet at once: and, haply, they thus met May by that confluence be enforced to pause Time long-enough for wisdom, though too short, Far, far too short a time for doubt and scruple! This is that moment. See, our army chieftains, Our best, our noblest, are assembled round you, Their king-like leader! On your nod they wait. The single threads, which here your prosperous fortune Hath woven together in one potent web Instinct with destiny, O! let them not Unravel of themselves. If you permit These chiefs to separate, so unanimous Bring you them not a second time together. 'Tis the high tide that heaves the stranded ship, And every individual's spirit waxes In the great stream of multitudes. Behold They are still here, here still! But soon the war Bursts them once more asunder, and in small Particular anxieties and interests Scatters their spirit, and the sympathy Of each man with the whole. He who to-day Forgets himself, forced onward with the stream, Will become sober, seeing but himself. Feel only his own weakness, and with speed Will face about, and march on in the old High road of duty, the old broad-trodden road, And seek but to make shelter in good plight. WALLENSTEIN. The time is not yet come. TERZKY. So you say always. But when will it be time? WALLENSTEIN. When I shall say it. ILLO. You'll wait upon the stars, and on their hours, Till the earthly hour escapes you. Oh, believe me, In your own bosom are your destiny's stars. Confidence in yourself, prompt resolution, This is your Venus! and the sole malignant, The only one that harmeth you is doubt. WALLENSTEIN. Thou speakest as thou understandest. How oft And many a time I've told thee Jupiter, That lustrous god, was setting at thy birth. Thy visual power subdues no mysteries; Mole-eyed thou mayest but burrow in the earth, Blind as the subterrestrial, who with wan Lead-colored shine lighted thee into life. The common, the terrestrial, thou mayest see, With serviceable cunning knit together, The nearest with the nearest; and therein I trust thee and believe thee! but whate'er Full of mysterious import Nature weaves, And fashions in the depths--the spirit's ladder, That from this gross and visible world of dust, Even to the starry world, with thousand rounds, Builds itself up; on which the unseen powers Move up and down on heavenly ministries-- The circles in the circles, that approach The central sun with ever-narrowing orbit-- These see the glance alone, the unsealed eye, Of Jupiter's glad children born in lustre. [He walks across the chamber, then returns, and standing still, proceeds. The heavenly constellations make not merely The day and nights, summer and spring, not merely Signify to the husbandman the seasons Of sowing and of harvest. Human action, That is the seed, too, of contingencies, Strewed on the dark land of futurity In hopes to reconcile the powers of fate Whence it behoves us to seek out the seed-time, To watch the stars, select their proper hours, And trace with searching eye the heavenly houses, Whether the enemy of growth and thriving Hide himself not, malignant, in his corner. Therefore permit me my own time. Meanwhile Do you your part. As yet I cannot say What I shall do--only, give way I will not, Depose me, too, they shall not. On these points You may rely. PAGE (entering). My lords, the generals. WALLENSTEIN. Let them come in. TERZKY. Shall all the chiefs be present? WALLENSTEIN. 'Twere needless. Both the Piccolomini Maradas, Butler, Forgoetsch, Deodati, Karaffa, Isolani--these may come. [TERZKY goes out with the PAGE. WALLENSTEIN (to ILLO). Hast thou taken heed that Questenberg was watched? Had he no means of secret intercourse? ILLO. I have watched him closely--and he spoke with none But with Octavio. SCENE VII. WALLENSTRIN, TERZKY, ILLO.--To them enter QUESTENBERG, OCTAVIO, and MAX. PICCOLOMINI, BUTLER, ISOLANI, MARADAS, and three other Generals. WALLENSTEIN Motions QUESTENBERG, who in consequence takes the chair directly opposite to him; the others follow, arranging themselves according to their rank. There reigns a momentary silence. WALLENSTEIN. I have understood, 'Tis true, the sum and import, Questenberg, Of your instructions. I have weighed them well, And formed my final, absolute resolve; Yet it seems fitting that the generals Should hear the will of the emperor from your mouth. May it please you then to open your commission Before these noble chieftains? QUESTENBERG. I am ready To obey you; but will first entreat your highness, And all these noble chieftains, to consider, The imperial dignity and sovereign right Speaks from my mouth, and not my own presumption. WALLENSTEIN. We excuse all preface. QUESTENBERG. When his majesty The emperor to his courageous armies Presented in the person of Duke Friedland A most experienced and renowned commander, He did it in glad hope and confidence To give thereby to the fortune of the war A rapid and auspicious change. The onset Was favorable to his royal wishes. Bohemia was delivered from the Saxons, The Swede's career of conquest checked! These lands Began to draw breath freely, as Duke Friedland From all the streams of Germany forced hither The scattered armies of the enemy; Hither invoked as round one magic circle The Rhinegrave, Bernhard, Banner, Oxenstiern, Yea, and the never-conquered king himself; Here finally, before the eye of Nuernberg, The fearful game of battle to decide. WALLENSTEIN. To the point, so please you. QUESTENBERG. A new spirit At once proclaimed to us the new commander. No longer strove blind rage with rage more blind; But in the enlightened field of skill was shown How fortitude can triumph over boldness, And scientific art outweary courage. In vain they tempt him to the fight. He only Entrenches him still deeper in his hold, As if to build an everlasting fortress. At length grown desperate, now, the king resolves To storm the camp and lead his wasted legions, Who daily fall by famine and by plague, To quicker deaths and hunger and disease. Through lines of barricades behind whose fence Death lurks within a thousand mouths of fire, He yet unconquered strives to storm his way. There was attack, and there resistance, such As mortal eye had never seen before; Repulsed at last, the king withdrew his troops From this so murderous field, and not a foot Of ground was gained by all that fearful slaughter. WALLENSTEIN. Pray spare us these recitals from gazettes, Which we ourselves beheld with deepest horror. QUESTENBERG. In Nuernberg's camp the Swedish monarch left His fame--in Luetzen's plains his life. But who Stood not astounded, when victorious Friedland After this day of triumph, this proud day, Marched toward Bohemia with the speed of flight, And vanished from the theatre of war? While the young Weimar hero [7] forced his way Into Franconia, to the Danube, like Some delving winter-stream, which, where it rushes, Makes its own channel; with such sudden speed He marched, and now at once 'fore Regensburg Stood to the affright of all good Catholic Christians. Then did Bavaria's well-deserving prince Entreat swift aidance in his extreme need; The emperor sends seven horsemen to Duke Friedland, Seven horsemen couriers sends he with the entreaty He superadds his own, and supplicates Where as the sovereign lord he can command. In vain his supplication! At this moment The duke hears only his old hate and grudge, Barters the general good to gratify Private revenge--and so falls Regensburg. WALLENSTEIN. Max., to what period of the war alludes he? My recollection fails me here. MAX. He means When we were in Silesia. WALLENSTEIN. Ay! is it so! But what had we to do there? MAX. To beat out The Swedes and Saxons from the province. WALLENSTEIN. True; In that description which the minister gave, I seemed to have forgotten the whole war. [TO QUESTENBERG. Well, but proceed a little. QUESTENBERG. We hoped upon the Oder to regain What on the Danube shamefully was lost. We looked for deeds of all-astounding grandeur Upon a theatre of war, on which A Friedland led in person to the field, And the famed rival of the great Gustavus Had but a Thurn and Arnheim to oppose him! Yet the encounter of their mighty hosts Served but to feast and entertain each other. Our country groaned beneath the woes of war, Yet naught but peace prevailed in Friedland's camp! WALLENSTEIN. Full many a bloody strife is fought in vain, Because its youthful general needs a victory. But 'tis the privilege of the old commander To spare the costs of fighting useless battles Merely to show that he knows how to conquer. It would have little helped my fame to boast Of conquest o'er an Arnheim; but far more Would my forbearance have availed my country, Had I succeeded to dissolve the alliance Existing 'twixt the Saxon and the Swede. QUESTENBERG. But you did not succeed, and so commenced The fearful strife anew. And here at length, Beside the river Oder did the duke Assert his ancient fame. Upon the fields Of Steinau did the Swedes lay down their arms, Subdued without a blow. And here, with others, The righteousness of heaven to his avenger Delivered that long-practised stirrer-up Of insurrection, that curse-laden torch And kindler of this war, Matthias Thurn. But he had fallen into magnanimous hands Instead of punishment he found reward, And with rich presents did the duke dismiss The arch-foe of his emperor. WALLENSTEIN (laughs). I know, I know you had already in Vienna Your windows and your balconies forestalled To see him on the executioner's cart. I might have lost the battle, lost it too With infamy, and still retained your graces-- But, to have cheated them of a spectacle, Oh! that the good folks of Vienna never, No, never can forgive me! QUESTENBERG. So Silesia Was freed, and all things loudly called the duke Into Bavaria, now pressed hard on all sides. And he did put his troops in motion: slowly, Quite at his ease, and by the longest road He traverses Bohemia; but ere ever He hath once seen the enemy, faces round, Breaks up the march, and takes to winter-quarters. WALLENSTEIN. The troops were pitiably destitute Of every necessary, every comfort, The winter came. What thinks his majesty His troops are made of? Aren't we men; subjected Like other men to wet, and cold, and all The circumstances of necessity? Oh, miserable lot of the poor soldier! Wherever he comes in all flee before him, And when he goes away the general curse Follows him on his route. All must be seized. Nothing is given him. And compelled to seize From every man he's every man's abhorrence. Behold, here stand my generals. Karaffa! Count Deodati! Butler! Tell this man How long the soldier's pay is in arrears. BUTLER. Already a full year. WALLENSTEIN. And 'tis the hire That constitutes the hireling's name and duties, The soldier's pay is the soldier's covenant. [8] QUESTENBERG. Ah! this is a far other tone from that In which the duke spoke eight, nine years ago. WALLENSTEIN. Yes! 'tis my fault, I know it: I myself Have spoilt the emperor by indulging him. Nine years ago, during the Danish war, I raised him up a force, a mighty force, Forty or fifty thousand men, that cost him Of his own purse no doit. Through Saxony The fury goddess of the war marched on, E'en to the surf-rocks of the Baltic, bearing The terrors of his name. That was a time! In the whole imperial realm no name like mine Honored with festival and celebration-- And Albrecht Wallenstein, it was the title Of the third jewel in his crown! But at the Diet, when the princes met At Regensburg, there, there the whole broke out, There 'twas laid open, there it was made known Out of what money-bag I had paid the host, And what were now my thanks, what had I now That I, a faithful servant of the sovereign, Had loaded on myself the people's curses, And let the princes of the empire pay The expenses of this war that aggrandizes The emperor alone. What thanks had I? What? I was offered up to their complaint Dismissed, degraded! QUESTENBERG. But your highness knows What little freedom he possessed of action In that disastrous Diet. WALLENSTEIN. Death and hell! I had that which could have procured him freedom No! since 'twas proved so inauspicious to me To serve the emperor at the empire's cost, I have been taught far other trains of thinking Of the empire and the Diet of the empire. From the emperor, doubtless, I received this staff, But now I hold it as the empire's general,-- For the common weal, the universal interest, And no more for that one man's aggrandizement! But to the point. What is it that's desired of me? QUESTENBERG. First, his imperial majesty hath willed That without pretexts of delay the army Evacuate Bohemia. WALLENSTEIN. In this season? And to what quarter wills the emperor That we direct our course? QUESTENBERG. To the enemy. His majesty resolves, that Regensburg Be purified from the enemy ere Easter, That Lutheranism may be no longer preached In that cathedral, nor heretical Defilement desecrate the celebration Of that pure festival. WALLENSTEIN. My generals, Can this be realized? ILLO. 'Tis not possible. BUTLER. It can't be realized. QUESTENBERG. The emperor Already hath commanded Colonel Suys To advance towards Bavaria. WALLENSTEIN. What did Suys? QUESTENBERG. That which his duty prompted. He advanced. WALLENSTEIN. What! he advanced? And I, his general, Had given him orders, peremptory orders Not to desert his station! Stands it thus With my authority? Is this the obedience Due to my office, which being thrown aside, No war can be conducted? Chieftains, speak You be the judges, generals. What deserves That officer who, of his oath neglectful, Is guilty of contempt of orders? ILLO. Death. WALLENSTEIN (raising his voice, as all but ILLO had remained silent and seemingly scrupulous). Count Piccolomini! what has he deserved? MAX. PICCOLOMINI (after a long pause). According to the letter of the law, Death. ISOLANI. Death. BUTLER. Death, by the laws of war. [QUESTENBERG rises from his seat, WALLENSTEIN follows, all the rest rise. WALLENSTEIN. To this the law condemns him, and not I. And if I show him favor, 'twill arise From the reverence that I owe my emperor. QUESTENBERG. If so, I can say nothing further--here! WALLENSTEIN. I accepted the command but on conditions! And this the first, that to the diminution Of my authority no human being, Not even the emperor's self, should be entitled To do aught, or to say aught, with the army. If I stand warranter of the event, Placing my honor and my head in pledge, Needs must I have full mastery in all The means thereto. What rendered this Gustavus Resistless, and unconquered upon earth? This--that he was the monarch in his army! A monarch, one who is indeed a monarch, Was never yet subdued but by his equal. But to the point! The best is yet to come, Attend now, generals! QUESTENBERG. The Prince Cardinal Begins his route at the approach of spring From the Milanese; and leads a Spanish army Through Germany into the Netherlands. That he may march secure and unimpeded, 'Tis the emperor's will you grant him a detachment Of eight horse-regiments from the army here. WALLENSTEIN. Yes, yes! I understand! Eight regiments! Well, Right well concerted, Father Lanormain! Eight thousand horse! Yes, yes! 'tis as it should be I see it coming. QUESTENBERG. There is nothing coming. All stands in front: the counsel of state-prudence, The dictate of necessity! WALLENSTEIN. What then? What, my lord envoy? May I not be suffered To understand that folks are tired of seeing The sword's hilt in my grasp, and that your court Snatch eagerly at this pretence, and use The Spanish title, and drain off my forces, To lead into the empire a new army Unsubjected to my control? To throw me Plumply aside,--I am still too powerful for you To venture that. My stipulation runs, That all the imperial forces shall obey me Where'er the German is the native language. Of Spanish troops and of prince cardinals, That take their route as visitors, through the empire, There stands no syllable in my stipulation. No syllable! And so the politic court Steals in on tiptoe, and creeps round behind it; First makes me weaker, then to be dispensed with, Till it dares strike at length a bolder blow, And make short work with me. What need of all these crooked ways, lord envoy? Straightforward, man! his compact with me pinches The emperor. He would that I moved off! Well! I will gratify him! [Here there commences an agitation among the generals, which increases continually. It grieves me for my noble officers' sakes; I see not yet by what means they will come at The moneys they have advanced, or how obtain The recompense their services demand. Still a new leader brings new claimants forward, And prior merit superannuates quickly. There serve here many foreigners in the army, And were the man in all else brave and gallant, I was not wont to make nice scrutiny After his pedigree or catechism. This will be otherwise i' the time to come. Well; me no longer it concerns. [He seats himself. Forbid it, Heaven, that it should come to this! Our troops will swell in dreadful fermentation-- The emperor is abused--it cannot be. ISOLANI. It cannot be; all goes to instant wreck. WALLENSTEIN. Thou hast said truly, faithful Isolani! What we with toil and foresight have built up Will go to wreck--all go to instant wreck. What then? Another chieftain is soon found, Another army likewise (who dares doubt it?) Will flock from all sides to the emperor, At the first beat of his recruiting drum. [During this speech, ISOLANI, TERZKY, ILLO, and MARADAS talk confusedly with great agitation. MAX. PICCOLOMINI (busily and passionately going from one to another, and soothing them). Hear, my commander' Hear me, generals! Let me conjure you, duke! Determine nothing, Till we have met and represented to you Our joint remonstrances! Nay, calmer! Friends! I hope all may yet be set right again. TERZKY. Away! let us away! in the antechamber Find we the others. [They go. BUTLER (to QUESTENBERG). If good counsel gain Due audience from your wisdom, my lord envoy, You will be cautious how you show yourself In public for some hours to come--or hardly Will that gold key protect you from maltreatment. [Commotions heard from without. WALLENSTEIN. A salutary counsel--Thou, Octavio! Wilt answer for the safety of our guest. Farewell, von Questenberg! [QUESTENBURG is about to speak. Nay, not a word. Not one word more of that detested subject! You have performed your duty. We know now To separate the office from the man. [AS QUESTENBERG is going off with OCTAVIO, GOETZ, TIEFENBACH, KOLATTO, press in, several other generals following them. GOETZ. Where's he who means to rob us of our general? TIEFENBACH (at the same time). What are we forced to bear? That thou wilt leave us? KOLATTO (at the same time). We will live with thee, we will die with thee. WALLENSTEIN (with stateliness, and pointing to ILLO). There! the field-marshal knows our will. [Exit. [While all are going off the stage, the curtain drops. ACT III. SCENE I. A Small Chamber. ILLO and TERZKY. TERZKY. Now for this evening's business! How intend you To manage with the generals at the banquet? ILLO. Attend! We frame a formal declaration, Wherein we to the duke consign ourselves Collectively, to be and to remain His, both with life and limb, and not to spare The last drop of our blood for him, provided, So doing we infringe no oath or duty We may be under to the emperor. Mark! This reservation we expressly make In a particular clause, and save the conscience. Now hear! this formula so framed and worded Will be presented to them for perusal Before the banquet. No one will find in it Cause of offence or scruple. Hear now further! After the feast, when now the vapering wine Opens the heart, and shuts the eyes, we let A counterfeited paper, in the which This one particular clause has been left out, Go round for signatures. TERZKY. How! think you then That they'll believe themselves bound by an oath, Which we have tricked them into by a juggle? ILLO. We shall have caught and caged them! Let them then Beat their wings bare against the wires, and rave Loud as they may against our treachery; At court their signatures will be believed Far more than their most holy affirmations. Traitors they are, and must be; therefore wisely Will make a virtue of necessity. TERZKY. Well, well, it shall content me: let but something Be done, let only some decisive blow Set us in motion. ILLO. Besides, 'tis of subordinate importance How, or how far, we may thereby propel The generals. 'Tis enough that we persuade The duke that they are his. Let him but act In his determined mood, as if he had them, And he will have them. Where he plunges in, He makes a whirlpool, and all stream down to it. TERZKY. His policy is such a labyrinth, That many a time when I have thought myself Close at his side, he's gone at once, and left me Ignorant of the ground where I was standing. He lends the enemy his ear, permits me To write to them, to Arnheim; to Sesina Himself comes forward blank and undisguised; Talks with us by the hour about his plans, And when I think I have him--off at once-- He has slipped from me, and appears as if He had no scheme, but to retain his place. ILLO. He give up his old plans! I'll tell you, friend! His soul is occupied with nothing else, Even in his sleep--they are his thoughts, his dreams, That day by day he questions for this purpose The motions of the planets---- TERZKY. Ah! you know This night, that is now coming, he with Seni, Shuts himself up in the astrological tower To make joint observations--for I hear It is to be a night of weight and crisis; And something great, and of long expectation, Takes place in heaven. ILLO. O that it might take place On earth! The generals are full of zeal, And would with ease be led to anything Rather than lose their chief. Observe, too, that We have at last a fair excuse before us To form a close alliance 'gainst the court, Yet innocent its title, bearing simply That we support him only in command. But in the ardor of pursuit thou knowest Men soon forget the goal from which they started. The object I've in view is that the prince Shall either find them, or believe them ready For every hazard. Opportunity Will tempt him on. Be the great step once taken, Which at Vienna's court can ne'er be pardoned, The force of circumstances will lead him onward The farther still and farther. 'Tis the choice That makes him undecisive--come but need, And all his powers and wisdom will come with it. TERZKY. 'Tis this alone the enemy awaits To change their chief and join their force with ours. ILLO. Come! be we bold and make despatch. The work In this next day or two must thrive and grow More than it has for years. And let but only Things first turn up auspicious here below-- Mark what I say--the right stars, too, will show themselves. Come to the generals. All is in the glow, And must be beaten while 'tis malleable. TERZKY. Do you go thither, Illo? I must stay And wait here for the Countess Terzky. Know That we, too, are not idle. Break one string, A second is in readiness. ILLO. Yes! yes! I saw your lady smile with such sly meaning. What's in the wind? TERZKY. A secret. Hush! she comes. [Exit ILLO. SCENE II. The COUNTESS steps out from a closet. COUNT and COUNTESS TERZKY. TERZKY. Well--is she coming? I can keep him back No longer. COUNTESS. She will be here instantly, You only send him. TERZKY. I am not quite certain, I must confess it, countess, whether or not We are earning the duke's thanks hereby. You know No ray has broke out from him on this point. You have o'erruled me, and yourself know best How far you dare proceed. COUNTESS. I take it on me. [Talking to herself while she is advancing. Here's no heed of full powers and commissions; My cloudy duke! we understand each other-- And without words. What could I not unriddle, Wherefore the daughter should be sent for hither, Why first he, and no other should be chosen To fetch her hither? This sham of betrothing her To a bridegroom [9], whom no one knows--No! no! This may blind others! I see through thee, brother! But it beseems thee not to draw a card At such a game. Not yet! It all remains Mutely delivered up to my finessing. Well--thou shalt not have been deceived, Duke Friedland, In her who is thy sister. SERVANT (enters). The commanders! [Exit. TERZKY (to the COUNTESS). Take care you heat his fancy and affections-- Possess him with a reverie, and send him, Absent and dreaming to the banquet; that He may not boggle at the signature. COUNTESS. Take care of your guests! Go, send him hither. TERZKY. All rests upon his undersigning. COUNTESS (interrupting him). Go to your guests! Go---- ILLO (comes back). Where art staying, Terzky? The house is full, and all expecting you. TERZKY. Instantly! instantly! [To the COUNTESS. And let him not Stay here too long. It might awake suspicion In the old man---- COUNTESS. A truce with your precautions! [Exeunt TERZKY and ILLO. SCENE III. COUNTESS, MAX. PICCOLOMINI. MAX. (peeping in on the stage slyly). Aunt Terzky! may I venture? [Advances to the middle of the stage, and looks around him with uneasiness. She's not here! Where is she? COUNTESS. Look but somewhat narrowly In yonder corner, lest perhaps she lie Concealed behind that screen. MAX. There lie her gloves! [Snatches at them, but the COUNTESS takes them herself. You unkind lady! You refuse me this, You make it an amusement to torment me. COUNTESS. And this the thanks you give me for my trouble? MAX. O, if you felt the oppression at my heart! Since we've been here, so to constrain myself With such poor stealth to hazard words and glances. These, these are not my habits! COUNTESS. You have still Many new habits to acquire, young friend! But on this proof of your obedient temper I must continue to insist; and only On this condition can I play the agent For your concerns. MAX. But wherefore comes she not? Where is she? COUNTESS. Into my hands you must place it Whole and entire. Whom could you find, indeed, More zealously affected to your interest? No soul on earth must know it--not your father; He must not, above all. MAX. Alas! what danger? Here is no face on which I might concentre All the enraptured soul stirs up within me. O lady! tell me, is all changed around me? Or is it only I? I find myself, As among strangers! Not a trace is left Of all my former wishes, former joys. Where has it vanished to? There was a time When even, methought, with such a world as this, I was not discontented. Now how flat! How stale! No life, no bloom, no flavor in it! My comrades are intolerable to me. My father--even to him I can say nothing. My arms, my military duties--O! They are such wearying toys! COUNTESS. But gentle friend! I must entreat it of your condescension, You would be pleased to sink your eye, and favor With one short glance or two this poor stale world, Where even now much, and of much moment, Is on the eve of its completion. MAX. Something, I can't but know is going forward round me. I see it gathering, crowding, driving on, In wild uncustomary movements. Well, In due time, doubtless, it will reach even me. Where think you I have been, dear lady? Nay, No raillery. The turmoil of the camp, The spring-tide of acquaintance rolling in, The pointless jest, the empty conversation, Oppressed and stifled me. I gasped for air-- I could not breathe--I was constrained to fly, To seek a silence out for my full heart; And a pure spot wherein to feel my happiness. No smiling, countess! In the church was I. There is a cloister here "To the heaven's gate," [10] Thither I went, there found myself alone. Over the altar hung a holy mother; A wretched painting 'twas, yet 'twas the friend That I was seeking in this moment. Ah, How oft have I beheld that glorious form In splendor, 'mid ecstatic worshippers; Yet, still it moved me not! and now at once Was my devotion cloudless as my love. COUNTESS. Enjoy your fortune and felicity! Forget the world around you. Meantime, friendship Shall keep strict vigils for you, anxious, active. Only be manageable when that friendship Points you the road to full accomplishment. MAX. But where abides she then? Oh, golden time Of travel, when each morning sun united And but the coming night divided us; Then ran no sand, then struck no hour for us, And time, in our excess of happiness, Seemed on its course eternal to stand still. Oh, he hath fallen from out his heaven of bliss Who can descend to count the changing hours, No clock strikes ever for the happy! COUNTESS. How long is it since you declared your passion? MAX. This morning did I hazard the first word. COUNTESS. This morning the first time in twenty days? MAX. 'Twas at that hunting-castle, betwixt here And Nepomuck, where you had joined us, and That was the last relay of the whole journey; In a balcony we were standing mute, And gazing out upon the dreary field Before us the dragoons were riding onward, The safeguard which the duke had sent us--heavy; The inquietude of parting lay upon me, And trembling ventured at length these words: This all reminds me, noble maiden, that To-day I must take leave of my good fortune. A few hours more, and you will find a father, Will see yourself surrounded by new friends, And I henceforth shall be but as a stranger, Lost in the many--"Speak with my Aunt Terzky!" With hurrying voice she interrupted me. She faltered. I beheld a glowing red Possess her beautiful cheeks, and from the ground Raised slowly up her eye met mine--no longer Did I control myself. [The Princess THEKLA appears at the door, and remains standing, observed by the COUNTESS, but not by PICCOLOMINI. With instant boldness I caught her in my arms, my lips touched hers; There was a rustling in the room close by; It parted us--'Twas you. What since has happened You know. COUNTESS (after a pause, with a stolen glance at THEKLA). And is it your excess of modesty Or are you so incurious, that you do not Ask me too of my secret? MAX. Of your secret? COUNTESS. Why, yes! When in the instant after you I stepped into the room, and found my niece there; What she in this first moment of the heart Taken with surprise---- MAX. (with eagerness). Well? SCENE IV. THEKLA (hurries forward), COUNTESS, MAX. PICCOLOMINI. THEKLA (to the COUNTESS). Spare yourself the trouble: That hears he better from myself. MAX. (stepping backward). My princess! What have you let her hear me say, Aunt Terzky? THEKLA (to the COUNTESS). Has he been here long? COUNTESS. Yes; and soon must go, Where have you stayed so long? THEKLA. Alas! my mother, Wept so again! and I--I see her suffer, Yet cannot keep myself from being happy. MAX. Now once again I have courage to look on you. To-day at noon I could not. The dazzle of the jewels that played round you Hid the beloved from me. THEKLA. Then you saw me With your eye only--and not with your heart? MAX. This morning, when I found you in the circle Of all your kindred, in your father's arms, Beheld myself an alien in this circle, O! what an impulse felt I in that moment To fall upon his neck, to call him father! But his stern eye o'erpowered the swelling passion, It dared not but be silent. And those brilliants, That like a crown of stars enwreathed your brows, They scared me too! O wherefore, wherefore should be At the first meeting spread as 'twere the ban Of excommunication round you,--wherefore Dress up the angel as for sacrifice. And cast upon the light and joyous heart The mournful burden of his station? Fitly May love dare woo for love; but such a splendor Might none but monarchs venture to approach. THEKLA. Hush! not a word more of this mummery; You see how soon the burden is thrown off. [To the COUNTESS. He is not in spirits. Wherefore is he not? 'Tis you, aunt, that have made him all so gloomy! He had quite another nature on the journey-- So calm, so bright, so joyous eloquent. [To MAX. It was my wish to see you always so, And never otherwise! MAX. You find yourself In your great father's arms, beloved lady! All in a new world, which does homage to you, And which, were't only by its novelty, Delights your eye. THEKLA. Yes; I confess to you That many things delight me here: this camp, This motley stage of warriors, which renews So manifold the image of my fancy, And binds to life, binds to reality, What hitherto had but been present to me As a sweet dream! MAX. Alas! not so to me. It makes a dream of my reality. Upon some island in the ethereal heights I've lived for these last days. This mass of men Forces me down to earth. It is a bridge That, reconducting to my former life, Divides me and my heaven. THEKLA. The game of life Looks cheerful, when one carries in one's heart The unalienable treasure. 'Tis a game, Which, having once reviewed, I turn more joyous Back to my deeper and appropriate bliss. [Breaking off, and in a sportive tone. In this short time that I've been present here. What new unheard-of things have I not seen; And yet they all must give place to the wond Which this mysterious castle guards. COUNTESS (recollecting). And what Can this be then? Methought I was acquainted With all the dusky corners of this house. THEKLA (smiling). Ay, but the road thereto is watched by spirits, Two griffins still stand sentry at the door. COUNTESS (laughs). The astrological tower! How happens it That this same sanctuary, whose access Is to all others so impracticable, Opens before you even at your approach? THEKLA. A dwarfish old man with a friendly face And snow-white hairs, whose gracious services Were mine at first sight, opened me the doors. MAX. That is the duke's astrologer, old Seni. THEKLA. He questioned me on many points; for instance, When I was born, what month, and on what day, Whether by day or in the night. COUNTESS. He wished To erect a figure for your horoscope. THEKLA. My hand too he examined, shook his head With much sad meaning, and the lines, methought, Did not square over truly with his wishes. COUNTESS. Well, princess, and what found you in this tower? My highest privilege has been to snatch A side-glance, and away! THEKLA. It was a strange Sensation that came o'er me, when at first From the broad sunshine I stepped in; and now The narrowing line of daylight, that ran after The closing door, was gone; and all about me 'Twas pale and dusky night, with many shadows Fantastically cast. Here six or seven Colossal statues, and all kings, stood round me In a half-circle. Each one in his hand A sceptre bore, and on his head a star; And in the tower no other light was there But from these stars all seemed to come from them. "These are the planets," said that low old man, "They govern worldly fates, and for that cause Are imaged here as kings. He farthest from you, Spiteful and cold, an old man melancholy, With bent and yellow forehead, he is Saturn. He opposite, the king with the red light, An armed man for the battle, that is Mars; And both these bring but little luck to man." But at his side a lovely lady stood, The star upon her head was soft and bright, Oh, that was Venus, the bright star of joy. And the left hand, lo! Mercury, with wings Quite in the middle glittered silver bright. A cheerful man, and with a monarch's mien; And this was Jupiter, my father's star And at his side I saw the Sun and Moon. MAX. Oh, never rudely will I blame his faith In the might of stars and angels. 'Tis not merely The human being's pride that peoples space With life and mystical predominance; Since likewise for the stricken heart of love This visible nature, and this common world, Is all too narrow; yea, a deeper import Lurks in the legend told my infant years Than lies upon that truth, we live to learn. For fable is love's world, his home, his birth-place; Delightedly dwells he among fays and talismans, And spirits; and delightedly believes Divinities, being himself divine The intelligible forms of ancient poets, The fair humanities of old religion, The power, the beauty, and the majesty, That had her haunts in dale, or piny mountain, Or forest by slow stream, or pebbly spring, Or chasms, and watery depths, all these have vanished. They live no longer in the faith of reason! But still the heart doth need a language, still Doth the old instinct bring back the old names; And to yon starry world they now are gone, Spirits or gods, that used to share this earth With man as with their friend [11], and to the lover Yonder they move, from yonder visible sky Shoot influence down: and even at this day 'This Jupiter who brings whate'er is great, And Venus who brings everything that's fair! THEKLA. And if this be the science of the stars, I, too, with glad and zealous industry, Will learn acquaintance with this cheerful faith. It is a gentle and affectionate thought, That in immeasurable heights above us, At our first birth, the wreath of love was woven, With sparkling stars for flowers. COUNTESS. Not only roses And thorns too hath the heaven, and well for you Leave they your wreath of love inviolate: What Venus twined, the bearer of glad fortune, The sullen orb of Mars soon tears to pieces. MAX. Soon will this gloomy empire reach its close. Blest be the general's zeal: into the laurel Will he inweave the olive-branch, presenting Peace to the shouting nations. Then no wish Will have remained for his great heart. Enough Has he performed for glory, and can now Live for himself and his. To his domains will He retire; he has a stately seat Of fairest view at Gitschin, Reichenberg, And Friedland Castle, both lie pleasantly; Even to the foot of the huge mountains here Stretches the chase and covers of his forests: His ruling passion to create the splendid He can indulge without restraint; can give A princely patronage to every art, And to all worth a sovereign's protection. Can build, can plant, can watch the starry courses---- COUNTESS. Yet I would have you look, and look again, Before you lay aside your arms, young friend! A gentle bride, as she is, is well worth it, That you should woo and win her with the sword. MAX. Oh, that the sword could win her! COUNTESS. What was that? Did you hear nothing? Seemed as if I heard Tumult and larum in the banquet-room. [Exit COUNTESS. SCENE V. THEKLA and MAX. PICCOLOMINI. THEKLA (as soon as the COUNTESS is out of sight, in a quick, low voice to PICCOLOMINI). Don't trust them! They are false! MAX. Impossible! THEKLA. Trust no one here but me. I saw at once, They had a purpose. MAX. Purpose! but what purpose? And how can we be instrumental to it? THEKLA. I know no more than you; but yet believe me There's some design in this; to make us happy, To realize our union--trust me, love! They but pretend to wish it. MAX. But these Terzkys-- Why use we them at all? Why not your mother? Excellent creature! She deserves from us A full and filial confidence. THEKLA. She doth love you, Doth rate you high before all others--but-- But such a secret--she would never have The courage to conceal it from my father. For her own peace of mind we must preserve it A secret from her too. MAX. Why any secret? I love not secrets. Mark what I will do. I'll throw me at your father's feet--let him Decide upon my fortune! He is true, He wears no mask--he hates all crooked ways-- He is so good, so noble! THEKLA. (falls on his neck). That are you! MAX. You knew him only from this morn! But I Have lived ten years already in his presence; And who knows whether in this very moment He is not merely waiting for us both To own our loves in order to unite us? You are silent! You look at me with such a hopelessness! What have you to object against your father? THEKLA. I? Nothing. Only he's so occupied-- He has no leisure time to think about The happiness of us two. [Taking his hand tenderly. Follow me Let us not place too great a faith in men. These Terzkys--we will still be grateful to them For every kindness, but not trust them further Than they deserve;--and in all else rely On our own hearts! MAX. O! shall we e'er be happy? THEKLA. Are we not happy now? Art thou not mine? Am I not thine? There lives within my soul A lofty courage--'tis love gives it me! I ought to be less open--ought to hide My heart more from thee--so decorum dictates: But where in this place couldst thou seek for truth, If in my mouth thou didst not find it? We now have met, then let us hold each other Clasped in a lasting and a firm embrace. Believe me this was more than their intent. Then be our loves like some blest relic kept Within the deep recesses of the heart. From heaven alone the love has been bestowed, To heaven alone our gratitude is due; It can work wonders for us still. SCENE VI. To them enters the COUNTESS TERZKY. COUNTESS (in a pressing manner). Come, come! My husband sends me for you. It is now The latest moment. [They not appearing to attend to what she says, she steps between them. Part you! THEKLA. Oh, not yet! It has been scarce a moment. COUNTESS. Ay! Then time Flies swiftly with your highness, princess niece! MAX. There is no hurry, aunt. COUNTESS. Away! Away! The folks begin to miss you. Twice already His father has asked for him. THEKLA. Ha! His father! COUNTESS. You understand that, niece! THEKLA. Why needs he To go at all to that society? 'Tis not his proper company. They may Be worthy men, but he's too young for them; In brief, he suits not such society. COUNTESS. You mean, you'd rather keep him wholly here? THEKLA (with energy). Yes! You have hit it aunt! That is my meaning, Leave him here wholly! Tell the company---- COUNTESS. What! have you lost your senses, niece? Count, you remember the conditions. Come! MAX (to THEKLA). Lady, I must obey. Fairwell, dear lady! [THEKLA turns away from him with a quick motion. What say you then, dear lady? THEKLA (without looking at him). Nothing. Go! MAX. Can I when you are angry---- [He draws up to her, their eyes meet, she stands silent a moment, then throws herself into his arms; he presses her fast to his heart. COUNTESS. Off! Heavens! if any one should come! Hark! What's that noise! It comes this way. Off! [MAX. tears himself away out of her arms and goes. The COUNTESS accompanies him. THEKLA follows him with her eyes at first, walks restlessly across the room, then stops, and remains standing, lost in thought. A guitar lies on the table, she seizes it as by a sudden emotion, and after she has played awhile an irregular and melancholy symphony, she falls gradually into the music and sings. SCENE VII. THEKLA (plays and sings). The cloud doth gather, the greenwood roar, The damsel paces along the shore; The billows, they tumble with might, with might; And she flings out her voice to the darksome night; Her bosom is swelling with sorrow; The world it is empty, the heart will die, There's nothing to wish for beneath the sky Thou Holy One, call thy child away! I've lived and loved, and that was to-day; Make ready my grave-clothes to-morrow. [12] SCENE VIII. COUNTESS (returns), THEKLA. COUNTESS. Fie, lady niece! to throw yourself upon him Like a poor gift to one who cares not for it, And so must be flung after him! For you, Duke Friedland's only child, I should have thought It had been more beseeming to have shown yourself More chary of your person. THEKLA (rising). And what mean you? DUCHESS. I mean, niece, that you should not have forgotten Who you are, and who he is. But perchance That never once occurred to you. THEKLA. What then? COUNTESS. That you're the daughter of the Prince Duke Friedland. THEKLA. Well, and what farther? DUCHESS. What? A pretty question! THEKLA. He was born that which we have but become. He's of an ancient Lombard family, Son of a reigning princess. COUNTESS. Are you dreaming? Talking in sleep? An excellent jest, forsooth! We shall no doubt right courteously entreat him To honor with his hand the richest heiress In Europe. THEKLA. That will not be necessary. COUNTESS. Methinks 'twere well, though, not to run the hazard. THEHLA. His father loves him; Count Octavio Will interpose no difficulty---- COUNTESS. His! His father! His! But yours, niece, what of yours? THERLA. Why, I begin to think you fear his father, So anxiously you hide it from the man! His father, his, I mean. COUNTESS (looks at her as scrutinizing). Niece, you are false. THEBLA. Are you then wounded? O, be friends with me! COUNTESS. You hold your game for won already. Do not Triumph too soon! THEKLA (interrupting her, and attempting to soothe her). Nay now, be friends with me. COUNTESS. It is not yet so far gone. THEKLA. I believe you. COUNTESS. Did you suppose your father had laid out His most important life in toils of war, Denied himself each quiet earthly bliss, Had banished slumbers from his tent, devoted His noble head to care, and for this only, To make a happier pair of you? At length To draw you from your convent, and conduct In easy triumph to your arms the man That chanced to please your eyes! All this, methinks, He might have purchased at a cheaper rate. THEKLA. That which he did not plant for me might yet Bear me fair fruitage of its own accord. And if my friendly and affectionate fate, Out of his fearful and enormous being, Will but prepare the joys of life for me---- COUNTESS. Thou seest it with a lovelorn maiden's eyes, Cast thine eye round, bethink thee who thou art;-- Into no house of joyance hast thou stepped, For no espousals dost thou find the walls Decked out, no guests the nuptial garland wearing; Here is no splendor but of arms. Or thinkest thou That all these thousands are here congregated To lead up the long dances at thy wedding! Thou see'st thy father's forehead full of thought, Thy mother's eye in tears: upon the balance Lies the great destiny of all our house. Leave now the puny wish, the girlish feeling; Oh, thrust it far behind thee! Give thou proof Thou'rt the daughter of the mighty--his Who where he moves creates the wonderful. Not to herself the woman must belong, Annexed and bound to alien destinies. But she performs the best part, she the wisest, Who can transmute the alien into self, Meet and disarm necessity by choice; And what must be, take freely to her heart, And bear and foster it with mother's love. THEKLA. Such ever was my lesson in the convent. I had no loves, no wishes, knew myself Only as his--his daughter--his, the mighty! His fame, the echo of whose blast drove to me From the far distance, weakened in my soul No other thought than this--I am appointed To offer myself up in passiveness to him. COUNTESS. That is thy fate. Mould thou thy wishes to it-- I and thy mother gave thee the example. THEKLA. My fate hath shown me him, to whom behoves it That I should offer up myself. In gladness Him will I follow. COUNTESS. Not thy fate hath shown him! Thy heart, say rather--'twas thy heart, my child! THEKLA. Faith hath no voice but the heart's impulses. I am all his! His present--his alone. Is this new life, which lives in me? He hath A right to his own creature. What was I Ere his fair love infused a soul into me? COUNTESS. Thou wouldst oppose thy father, then, should he Have otherwise determined with thy person? [THEKLA remains silent. The COUNTESS continues. Thou meanest to force him to thy liking? Child, His name is Friedland. THEKLA. My name too is Friedland. He shall have found a genuine daughter in me. COUNTESS. What! he has vanquished all impediment, And in the wilful mood of his own daughter Shall a new struggle rise for him? Child! child! As yet thou hast seen thy father's smiles alone; The eye of his rage thou hast not seen. Dear child, I will not frighten thee. To that extreme, I trust it ne'er shall come. His will is yet Unknown to me; 'tis possible his aims May have the same direction as thy wish. But this can never, never be his will, That thou, the daughter of his haughty fortunes, Shouldest e'er demean thee as a lovesick maiden And like some poor cost-nothing, fling thyself Toward the man, who, if that high prize ever Be destined to await him, yet with sacrifices The highest love can bring, must pay for it. [Exit COUNTESS. SCENE IX. THEKLA (who during the last speech had been standing evidently lost in her reflections). I thank thee for the hint. It turns My sad presentiment to certainty. And it is so! Not one friend have we here, Not one true heart! we've nothing but ourselves! Oh, she said rightly--no auspicious signs Beam on this covenant of our affections. This is no theatre where hope abides The dull thick noise of war alone stirs here, And love himself, as he were armed in steel, Steps forth, and girds him for the strife of death. [Music from the banquet-room is heard. There's a dark spirit walking in our house. And swiftly will the destiny close on us. It drove me hither from my calm asylum, It mocks my soul with charming witchery, It lures me forward in a seraph's shape, I see it near, I see it nearer floating, It draws, it pulls me with a godlike power-- And lo! the abyss--and thither am I moving-- I have no power within me not to move! [The music from the banquet-room becomes louder. Oh, when a house is, doomed in fire to perish, Many and dark Heaven drives his clouds together, Yea, shoots his lightnings down from sunny heights, Flames burst from out the subterraneous chasms, And fiends and angels, mingling in their fury, Sling firebrands at the burning edifice. [13] [Exit THEKLA. ACT IV. SCENE I. A large saloon lighted up with festal splendor; in the midst of it, and in the centre of the stage a table richly set out, at which eight generals are sitting, among whom are OCTAVIO PICCOLOMINI, TERZKY, and MARADAS. Right and left of this, but further back, two other tables, at each of which six persons are placed. The middle door, which is standing open, gives to the prospect a fourth table with the same number of persons. More forward stands the sideboard. The whole front of the stage is kept open, for the pages and servants-in-waiting. All is in motion. The band of music belonging to TERZKY's regiment march across the stage, and draw up around the tables. Before they are quite off from the front of the stage, MAX. PICCOLOMINI appears, TERZKY advances towards him with a paper, ISOLANI comes up to meet him with a beaker, or service-cup. TERZKY, ISOLANI, MAX. PICCOLOMINI. ISOLANI. Here, brother, what we love! Why, where hast been? Off to thy place--quick! Terzky here has given The mother's holiday wine up to free booty. Here it goes on as at the Heidelberg castle. Already hast thou lost the best. They're giving At yonder table ducal crowns in shares; There Sternberg's lands and chattels are put up, With Eggenberg's, Stawata's, Lichtenstein's, And all the great Bohemian feudalities. Be nimble, lad! and something may turn up For thee, who knows? off--to thy place! quick! march! TIEFENBACH and GOETZ (call out from the second and third tables). Count Piccolomini! TERZKY. Stop, ye shall have him in an instant. Read This oath here, whether as 'tis here set forth, The wording satisfies you. They've all read it, Each in his turn, and each one will subscribe His individual signature. MAX. (reads). "Ingratis servire nefas." ISOLANI. That sounds to my ears very much like Latin, And being interpreted, pray what may it mean? TERZKY. No honest man will serve a thankless master. MAX. "Inasmuch as our supreme commander, the illustrious Duke of Friedland, in consequence of the manifold affronts and grievances which he has received, had expressed his determination to quit the emperor, but on our unanimous entreaty has graciously consented to remain still with the army, and not to part from us without our approbation thereof, so we, collectively and each in particular, in the stead of an oath personally taken, do, hereby oblige ourselves--likewise by him honorably and faithfully to hold, and in nowise whatsoever from him to part, and to be ready to shed for his interests the last drop of our blood, so far, namely, as our oath to the emperor will permit it. (These last words are repeated by ISOLANI.) In testimony of which we subscribe our names." TERZKY. Now! are you willing to subscribe to this paper? ISOLANI. Why should he not? All officers of honor Can do it, ay, must do it. Pen and ink here! TERZKY. Nay, let it rest till after meal. ISOLANI (drawing MAX. along). Come, Max! [Both seat themselves at their table. SCENE II. TERZKY, NEUMANN. TERZKY (beckons to NEUMANN, who is waiting at the side-table and steps forward with him to the edge of the stage). Have you the copy with you, Neumann? Give it. It may be changed for the other? NEUMANN. I have copied it Letter by letter, line by line; no eye Would e'er discover other difference, Save only the omission of that clause, According to your excellency's order. TERZKY. Right I lay it yonder and away with this-- It has performed its business--to the fire with it. [NEUMANN lays the copy on the table, and steps back again to the side-table. SCENE III. ILLO (comes out from the second chamber), TERZKY. ILLO. How goes it with young Piccolomini! TERZKY. All right, I think. He has started no object. ILLO. He is the only one I fear about-- He and his father. Have an eye on both! TERZKY. How looks it at your table: you forget not To keep them warm and stirring? ILLO. Oh, quite cordial, They are quite cordial in the scheme. We have them And 'tis as I predicted too. Already It is the talk, not merely to maintain The duke in station. "Since we're once for all Together and unanimous, why not," Says Montecuculi, "ay, why not onward, And make conditions with the emperor There in his own Venice?" Trust me, count, Were it not for these said Piccolomini, We might have spared ourselves the cheat. TERZEY. And Butler? How goes it there? Hush! SCENE IV. To them enter BUTLER from a second table. BUTLER. Don't disturb yourselves; Field-marshal, I have understood you perfectly. Good luck be to the scheme; and as to me, [With an air of mystery. You may depend upon me. ILLO (with vivacity). May we, Butler? BUTLER. With or without the clause, all one to me! You understand me! My fidelity The duke may put to any proof--I'm with him Tell him so! I'm the emperor's officer, As long as 'tis his pleasure to remain The emperor's general! and Friedland's servant, As soon as it shall please him to become His own lord. TERZKY. You would make a good exchange. No stern economist, no Ferdinand, Is he to whom you plight your services. BUTLER (with a haughty look). I do not put up my fidelity To sale, Count Terzky! Half a year ago I would not have advised you to have made me An overture to that, to which I now Offer myself of my own free accord. But that is past! and to the duke, field-marshal, I bring myself, together with my regiment. And mark you, 'tis my humor to believe, The example which I give will not remain Without an influence. ILLO. Who is ignorant, That the whole army looks to Colonel Butler As to a light that moves before them? BUTLER. Ay? Then I repent me not of that fidelity Which for the length of forty years I held, If in my sixtieth year my good old name Can purchase for me a revenge so full. Start not at what I say, sir generals! My real motives--they concern not you. And you yourselves, I trust, could not expect That this your game had crooked my judgment--or That fickleness, quick blood, or such like cause, Has driven the old man from the track of honor, Which he so long had trodden. Come, my friends! I'm not thereto determined with less firmness, Because I know and have looked steadily At that on which I have determined. ILLO. Say, And speak roundly, what are we to deem you? BUTLER. A friend! I give you here my hand! I'm yours With all I have. Not only men, but money Will the duke want. Go, tell him, sirs! I've earned and laid up somewhat in his service, I lend it him; and is he my survivor, It has been already long ago bequeathed to him; He is my heir. For me, I stand alone Here in the world; naught know I of the feeling That binds the husband to a wife and children. My name dies with me, my existence ends. ILLO. 'Tis not your money that he needs--a heart Like yours weighs tons of gold down, weighs down millions! BUTLER. I came a simple soldier's boy from Ireland To Prague--and with a master, whom I buried. From lowest stable duty I climbed up, Such was the fate of war, to this high rank, The plaything of a whimsical good fortune. And Wallenstein too is a child of luck: I love a fortune that is like my own. ILLO. All powerful souls have kindred with each other. BUTLER. This is an awful moment! to the brave, To the determined, an auspicious moment. The Prince of Weimar arms, upon the Maine, To found a mighty dukedom. He of Halberstadt, That Mansfeldt, wanted but a longer life To have marked out with his good sword a lordship That should reward his courage. Who of these Equals our Friedland? There is nothing, nothing So high, but he may set the ladder to it! TERZKY. That's spoken like a man! BUTLER. Do you secure the Spaniard and Italian-- I'll be your warrant for the Scotchman Lesly. Come to the company! TERZKY. Where is the master of the cellar? Ho! Let the best wines come up. Ho! cheerly, boy! Luck comes to-day, so give her hearty welcome. [Exeunt, each to his table. SCENE V. The MASTER OF THE CELLAR, advancing with NEUMANN, SERVANTS passing backwards and forwards. MASTER OF THE CELLAR. The best wine! Oh, if my old mistress, his lady mother, could but see these wild goings on she would turn herself round in her grave. Yes, yes, sir officer! 'tis all down the hill with this noble house! no end, no moderation! And this marriage with the duke's sister, a splendid connection, a very splendid connection! but I will tell you, sir officer, it looks no good. NEUMANN. Heaven forbid! Why, at this very moment the whole prospect is in bud and blossom! MASTER OF THE CELLAR. You think so? Well, well! much may be said on that head. FIRST SERVANT (comes). Burgundy for the fourth table. MASTER OF THE CELLAR. Now, sir lieutenant, if this aint the seventieth flask---- FIRST SERVANT. Why, the reason is, that German lord, Tiefenbach, sits at that table. MASTER OF THE CELLAR (continuing his discourse to NEUMANN). They are soaring too high. They would rival kings and electors in their pomp and splendor; and wherever the duke leaps, not a minute does my gracious master, the count, loiter on the brink--(to the SERVANTS). What do you stand there listening for? I will let you know you have legs presently. Off! see to the tables, see to the flasks! Look there! Count Palfi has an empty glass before him! RUNNER (comes). The great service-cup is wanted, sir, that rich gold cup with the Bohemian arms on it. The count says you know which it is. MASTER OF THE CELLAR. Ay! that was made for Frederick's coronation by the artist William--there was not such another prize in the whole booty at Prague. RUNNER. The same!--a health is to go round in him. MASTER OF THE CELLAR (shaking his head while he fetches and rinses the cups). This will be something for the tale-bearers--this goes to Vienna. NEUMANN. Permit me to look at it. Well, this is a cup indeed! How heavy! as well it may be, being all gold. And what neat things are embossed on it! how natural and elegant they look! There, on the first quarter, let me see. That proud amazon there on horseback, she that is taking a leap over the crosier and mitres, and carries on a wand a hat together with a banner, on which there's a goblet represented. Can you tell me what all this signifies? MASTER OF THE CELLAR. The woman you see there on horseback is the Free Election of the Bohemian Crown. That is signified by the round hat and by that fiery steed on which she is riding. The hat is the pride of man; for he who cannot keep his hat on before kings and emperors is no free man. NEUMANN. But what is the cup there on the banner. MASTER OF THE CELLAR. The cup signifies the freedom of the Bohemian Church, as it was in our forefathers' times. Our forefathers in the wars of the Hussites forced from the pope this noble privilege; for the pope, you know, will not grant the cup to any layman. Your true Moravian values nothing beyond the cup; it is his costly jewel, and has cost the Bohemians their precious blood in many and many a battle. NEUMANN. And what says that chart that hangs in the air there, over it all? MASTER OF THE CELLAR. That signifies the Bohemian letter-royal which we forced from the Emperor Rudolph--a precious, never to be enough valued parchment, that secures to the new church the old privileges of free ringing and open psalmody. But since he of Steiermark has ruled over us that is at an end; and after the battle at Prague, in which Count Palatine Frederick lost crown and empire, our faith hangs upon the pulpit and the altar--and our brethren look at their homes over their shoulders; but the letter-royal the emperor himself cut to pieces with his scissors. NEUMANN. Why, my good Master of the Cellar! you are deep read in the chronicles of your country. MASTER OF THE CELLAR. So were my forefathers, and for that reason were they minstrels, and served under Procopius and Ziska. Peace be with their ashes! Well, well! they fought for a good cause though. There! carry it up! NEUMANN. Stay! let me but look at this second quarter. Look there! That is, when at Prague Castle, the imperial counsellors, Martinitz and Stawata, were hurled down head over heels. 'Tis even so! there stands Count Thur who commands it. [RUNNER takes the service-cup and goes off with it. MASTER OF THE CELLAR. Oh, let me never more hear of that day. It was the three-and-twentieth of May in the year of our Lord one thousand six hundred and eighteen. It seems to me as it were but yesterday--from that unlucky day it all began, all the heartaches of the country. Since that day it is now sixteen years, and there has never once been peace on the earth. [Health drunk aloud at the second table. The Prince of Weimar! Hurrah! [At the third and fourth tables. Long live Prince William! Long live Duke Bernard! Hurrah! [Music strikes up. FIRST SERVANT. Hear 'em! Hear 'em! What an uproar! SECOND SERVANT (comes in running). Did you hear? They have drunk the Prince of Weimar's health. THIRD SERVANT. The Swedish chief commander! FIRST SERVANT (speaking at the same time). The Lutheran! SECOND SERVANT. Just before, when Count Deodati gave out the emperor's health, they were all as mum as a nibbling mouse. MASTER OF THE CELLAR. Po, po! When the wine goes in strange things come out. A good servant hears, and hears not! You should be nothing but eyes and feet, except when you are called to. SECOND SERVANT. [To the RUNNER, to whom he gives secretly a flask of wine, keeping his eye on the MASTER OF THE CELLAR, standing between him and the RUNNER. Quick, Thomas! before the Master of the Cellar runs this way; 'tis a flask of Frontignac! Snapped it up at the third table. Canst go off with it? RUNNER (hides it in his, pocket). All right! [Exit the Second Servant. THIRD SERVANT (aside to the FIRST). Be on the hark, Jack! that we may have right plenty to tell to Father Quivoga. He will give us right plenty of absolution in return for it. FIRST SERVANT. For that very purpose I am always having something to do behind Illo's chair. He is the man for speeches to make you stare with. MASTER OF THE CELLAR (to NEUMANN). Who, pray, may that swarthy man be, he with the cross, that is chatting so confidently with Esterhats? NEUMANN. Ay, he too is one of those to whom they confide too much. He calls himself Maradas; a Spaniard is he. MASTER OF THE CELLAR (impatiently). Spaniard! Spaniard! I tell you, friend, nothing good comes of those Spaniards. All these outlandish fellows are little better than rogues. NEUMANN. Fy, fy! you should not say so, friend. There are among them our very best generals, and those on whom the duke at this moment relies the most. MASTER OF THE CELLAR. [Taking the flask out of RUNNER'S pocket. My son, it will be broken to pieces in your pocket. [TERZKY hurries in, fetches away the paper, and calls to a servant for pen and ink, and goes to the back of the stage. MASTER OF THE CELLAR (to the SERVANTS). The lieutenant-general stands up. Be on the watch. Now! They break up. Off, and move back the forms. [They rise at all the tables, the SERVANTS hurry off the front of the stage to the tables; part of the guests come forward. SCENE VI. OCTAVIO PICCOLOMINI enters, in conversation with MARADAS, and both place themselves quite on the edge of the stage on one side of the proscenium. On the side directly opposite, MAX. PICCOLOMINI, by himself, lost in thought, and taking no part in anything that is going forward. The middle space between both, but rather more distant from the edge of the stage, is filled up by BUTLER, ISOLANI, GOETZ, TIEFENBACH, and KOLATTO. ISOLANI (while the company is coming forward). Good-night, good-night, Kolatto! Good-night, lieutenant-general! I should rather say good-morning. GOETZ (to TIEFENBACH). Noble brother! (making the usual compliment after meals). TIEFENBACH. Ay! 'twas a royal feast indeed. GOETZ. Yes, my lady countess understands these matters. Her mother-in-law, heaven rest her soul, taught her! Ah! that was a housewife for you! TIEFENBACH. There was not her like in all Bohemia for setting out a table. OCTAVIO (aside to MARADAS). Do me the favor to talk to me--talk of what you will--or of nothing. Only preserve the appearance at least of talking. I would not wish to stand by myself, and yet I conjecture that there will be goings on here worthy of our attentive observation. (He continues to fix his eye on the whole following scene.) ISOLANI (on the point of going). Lights! lights! TERZKY (advances with the paper to ISOLANI). Noble brother; two minutes longer! Here is something to subscribe. ISOLANI. Subscribe as much as you like--but you must excuse me from reading it. TERZKY. There is no need. It is the oath which you have already read. Only a few marks of your pen! [ISOLANI hands over the paper to OCTAVIO respectfully. TERZKY. Nay, nay, first come, first served. There is no precedence here. [OCTAVIO runs over the paper with apparent indifference. TERZKY watches him at some distance. GOETZ (to TERZKY). Noble count! with your permission--good-night. TERKZY. Where's the hurry? Come, one other composing draught. (To the SERVANTS). Ho! GOETZ. Excuse me--aint able. TERZKY. A thimble-full. GOETZ. Excuse me. TIEFENBACH (sits down). Pardon me, nobles! This standing does not agree with me. TERZKY. Consult your own convenience, general. TIEFENBACH. Clear at head, sound in stomach--only my legs won't carry me any longer. ISOLANI (pointing at his corpulence). Poor legs! how should they! Such an unmerciful load! [OCTAVIO subscribes his name, and reaches over the paper to TERZKY, who gives it to ISOLANI; and he goes to the table to sign his name. TIEFENBACH. 'Twas that war in Pomerania that first brought it on. Out in all weathers--ice and snow--no help for it. I shall never get the better of it all the days of my life. GOETZ. Why, in simple verity, your Swedes make no nice inquiries about the season. TERZKY (observing ISOLANI, whose hand trembles excessively so that he can scarce direct his pen). Have you had that ugly complaint long, noble brother? Despatch it. ISOLANI. The sins of youth! I have already tried the chalybeate waters. Well--I must bear it. [TERZKY gives the paper to MARADAS; he steps to the table to subscribe. OCTAVIO (advancing to BUTLER). You are not over-fond of the orgies of Bacchus, colonel! I have observed it. You would, I think, find yourself more to your liking in the uproar of a battle than of a feast. BUTLER. I must confess 'tis not in my way. OCTAVIO (stepping nearer to him friendlily). Nor in mine neither, I can assure you; and I am not a little glad, my much-honored Colonel Butler, that we agree so well in our opinions. A half-dozen good friends at most, at a small round table, a glass of genuine Tokay, open hearts, and a rational conversation--that's my taste. BUTLER. And mine, too, when it can be had. [The paper comes to TIEFENBACH, who glances over it at the same time with GOETZ and KOLATTO. MARADAS in the meantime returns to OCTAVIO. All this takes places, the conversation with BUTLER proceeding uninterrupted. OCTAVIO (introducing MADARAS to BUTLER.) Don Balthasar Maradas! likewise a man of our stamp, and long ago your admirer. [BUTLER bows. OCTAVIO (continuing). You are a stranger here--'twas but yesterday you arrived--you are ignorant of the ways and means here. 'Tis a wretched place. I know at your age one loves to be snug and quiet. What if you move your lodgings? Come, be my visitor. (BUTLER makes a low bow.) Nay, without compliment! For a friend like you I have still a corner remaining. BUTLER (coldly). Your obliged humble servant, my lord lieutenant-general. [The paper comes to BUTLER, who goes to the table to subscribe it. The front of the stage is vacant, so that both the PICCOLOMINIS, each on the side where he had been from the commencement of the scene, remain alone. OCTAVIO (after having some time watched his son in silence, advances somewhat nearer to him). You were long absent from us, friend! MAX. I--urgent business detained me. OCTAVIO. And, I observe, you are still absent! MAX. You know this crowd and bustle always makes me silent. OCTAVIO (advancing still nearer). May I be permitted to ask what the business was that detained you? Terzky knows it without asking. MAX. What does Terzky know? OCTAVIO. He was the only one who did not miss you. ISOLANI (who has been attending to them for some distance steps up). Well done, father! Rout out his baggage! Beat up his quarters! there is something there that should not be. TERZKY (with the paper). Is there none wanting? Have the whole subscribed? OCTAVIO. All. TERZKY (calling aloud). Ho! Who subscribes? BUTLER (to TERZKY). Count the names. There ought to be just thirty. TERZKY. Here is a cross. TIEFENBACH. That's my mark! ISOLANI. He cannot write; but his cross is a good cross, and is honored by Jews as well as Christians. OCTAVIO (presses on to MAX.). Come, general! let us go. It is late. TERZKY. One Piccolomini only has signed. ISOLANI (pointing to MAX.). Look! that is your man, that statue there, who has had neither eye, ear, nor tongue for us the whole evening. [MAX. receives the paper from TERZKY, which he looks upon vacantly. SCENE VII. To these enter ILLO from the inner room. He has in his hand a golden service-cup, and is extremely distempered with drinking; GOETZ and BUTLER follow him, endeavoring to keep him back. ILLO. What do you want! Let me go. GOETZ and BUTLER. Drink no more, Illo! For heaven's sake, drink no more. ILLO (goes up to OCTAVIO, and shakes him cordially by the hand, and then drinks). Octavio! I bring this to you! Let all grudge be drowned in this friendly bowl! I know well enough you never loved me--devil take me! and I never loved you! I am always even with people in that way! Let what's past be past--that is, you understand--forgotten! I esteem you infinitely. (Embracing him repeatedly.) You have not a dearer friend on earth than I, but that you know. The fellow that cries rogue to you calls me villain, and I'll strangle him! my dear friend! TERZKY (whispering to him). Art in thy senses? For heaven's sake, Illo, think where you are! ILLO (aloud). What do you mean? There are none but friends here, are there? (Looks round the whole circle with a jolly and triumphant air.) Not a sneaker amongst us, thank heaven. TERZKY (to BUTLER, eagerly). Take him off with you, force him off, I entreat you, Butler! BUTLER (to ILLO). Field-marshal! a word with you. (Leads to the side-board.) ILLO (cordially). A thousand for one. Fill; fill it once more up to the brim. To this gallant man's health! ISOLANI (to MAX., who all the while has been staring on the paper with fixed but vacant eyes). Slow and sure, my noble brother! Hast parsed it all yet? Some words yet to go through? Ha? MAX. (waking as from a dream). What am I to do? TERZKY, and at the same time ISOLANI. Sign your name. (OCTAVIO directs his eyes on him with intense anxiety). MAX. (returns the paper). Let it stay till to-morrow. It is business; to-day I am not sufficiently collected. Send it to me to-morrow. TERZKY. Nay, collect yourself a little. ISOLANI. Awake man, awake! Come, thy signature, and have done with it! What! Thou art the youngest in the whole company, and would be wiser than all of us together! Look there! thy father has signed; we have all signed. TERZKY (to OCTAVIO). Use your influence. Instruct him. OCTAVIO. My son is at the age of discretion. ILLO (leaves the service-cup on the sideboard). What's the dispute? TERZKY. He declines subscribing the paper. MAX. I say it may as well stay till to-morrow. ILLO. It cannot stay. We have all subscribed to it--and so must you. You must subscribe. MAX. Illo, good-night! ILLO. No! you come not off so! The duke shall learn who are his friends. (All collect round ILLO and MAX.) MAX. What my sentiments are towards the duke, the duke knows, every one knows--what need of this wild stuff? ILLO. This is the thanks the duke gets for his partiality to Italians and foreigners. Us Bohemians he holds for little better than dullards-- nothing pleases him but what's outlandish. TERZKY (in extreme embarrassment, to the Commanders, who at ILLO's words give a sudden start as preparing to resent them). It is the wine that speaks, and not his reason. Attend not to him, I entreat you. ISOLANI (with a bitter laugh). Wine invents nothing: it only tattles. ILLO. He who is not with me is against me. Your tender consciences! Unless they can slip out by a back-door, by a puny proviso---- TERZKY (interrupting him). He is stark mad--don't listen to him! ILLO (raising his voice to the highest pitch). Unless they can slip out by a proviso. What of the proviso? The devil take this proviso! MAX. (has his attention roused, and looks again into the paper). What is there here then of such perilous import? You make me curious--I must look closer at it. TERZKY (in a low voice to ILLO). What are you doing, Illo? You are ruining us. TIEFENBACH (to KOLATTO). Ay, ay! I observed, that before we sat down to supper, it was read differently. GOETZ. Why, I seemed to think so too. ISOLANI. What do I care for that? Where there stand other names mine can stand too. TIEFENBACH. Before supper there was a certain proviso therein, or short clause, concerning our duties to the emperor. BUTLER (to one of the Commanders). For shame, for shame! Bethink you. What is the main business here? The question now is, whether we shall keep our general, or let him retire. One must not take these things too nicely, and over-scrupulously. ISOLANI (to one of the Generals). Did the duke make any of these provisos when he gave you your regiment? TERZKY (to GOETZ). Or when he gave you the office of army-purveyancer, which brings you in yearly a thousand pistoles! ILLO. He is a rascal who makes us out to be rogues. If there be any one that wants satisfaction, let him say so,--I am his man. TIEFENBACH. Softly, softly? 'Twas but a word or two. MAX. (having read the paper gives it back). Till to-morrow therefore! ILLO (stammering with rage and fury, loses all command over himself and presents the paper to MAX. With one hand, and his sword in the other). Subscribe--Judas! ISOLANI. Out upon you, Illo! OCTAVIO, TERZKY, BUTLER (all together). Down with the sword! MAX. (rushes on him suddenly and disarms him, then to COUNT TERZKY). Take him off to bed! [MAX leaves the stage. ILLO cursing and raving is held back by some of the officers, and amidst a universal confusion the curtain drops. ACT V. SCENE I. A Chamber in PICCOLOMINI's Mansion. It is Night. OCTAVIO PICCOLOMINI. A VALET DE CHAMBRE with Lights. OCTAVIO. And when my son comes in, conduct him hither. What is the hour? VALET. 'Tis on the point of morning. OCTAVIO. Set down the light. We mean not to undress. You may retire to sleep. [Exit VALET. OCTAVIO paces, musing, across the chamber; MAX. PICCOLOMINI enters unobserved, and looks at his father for some moments in silence. MAX. Art thou offended with me? Heaven knows That odious business was no fault of mine. 'Tis true, indeed, I saw thy signature, What thou hast sanctioned, should not, it might seem, Have come amiss to me. But--'tis my nature-- Thou know'st that in such matters I must follow My own light, not another's. OCTAVIO (goes up to him and embraces him). Follow it, Oh, follow it still further, my best son! To-night, dear boy! it hath more faithfully Guided thee than the example of thy father. MAX. Declare thyself less darkly. OCTAVIO. I will do so; For after what has taken place this night, There must remain no secrets 'twixt us two. [Both seat themselves. Max. Piccolomini! what thinkest thou of The oath that was sent round for signatures? MAX. I hold it for a thing of harmless import, Although I love not these set declarations. OCTAVIO. And on no other ground hast thou refused The signature they fain had wrested from thee? MAX. It was a serious business. I was absent-- The affair itself seemed not so urgent to me. OCTAVIO. Be open, Max. Thou hadst then no suspicion? MAX. Suspicion! what suspicion? Not the least. OCTAVIO. Thank thy good angel, Piccolomini; He drew thee back unconscious from the abyss. MAX. I know not what thou meanest. OCTAVIO. I will tell thee. Fain would they have extorted from thee, son, The sanction of thy name to villany; Yes, with a single flourish of thy pen, Made thee renounce thy duty and thy honor! MAX. (rises). Octavio! OCTAVIO. Patience! Seat Yourself. Much yet Hast thou to hear from me, friend! Hast for years Lived in incomprehensible illusion. Before thine eyes is treason drawing out As black a web as e'er was spun for venom: A power of hell o'erclouds thy understanding. I dare no longer stand in silence--dare No longer see thee wandering on in darkness, Nor pluck the bandage from thine eyes. MAX. My father! Yet, ere thou speakest, a moment's pause of thought! If your disclosures should appear to be Conjectures only--and almost I fear They will be nothing further--spare them! I Am not in that collected mood at present, That I could listen to them quietly. OCTAVIO. The deeper cause thou hast to hate this light, The more impatient cause have I, my son, To force it on thee. To the innocence And wisdom of thy heart I could have trusted thee With calm assurance--but I see the net Preparing--and it is thy heart itself Alarms me, for thine innocence--that secret, [Fixing his eyes steadfastly on his son's face. Which thou concealest, forces mine from me. [MAX. attempts to answer, but hesitates, and casts his eyes to the ground embarrassed. OCTAVIO (after a pause). Know, then, they are duping thee!--a most foul game With thee and with us all--nay, hear me calmly-- The duke even now is playing. He assumes The mask, as if he would forsake the army; And in this moment makes he preparations That army from the emperor to steal, And carry it over to the enemy! MAX. That low priest's legend I know well, but did not Expect to hear it from thy mouth. OCTAVIO. That mouth, From which thou hearest it at this present moment, Doth warrant thee that it is no priest's legend. MAX. How mere a maniac they supposed the duke; What, he can meditate?--the duke?--can dream That he can lure away full thirty thousand Tried troops and true, all honorable soldiers, More than a thousand noblemen among them, From oaths, from duty, from their honor lure them, And make them all unanimous to do A deed that brands them scoundrels? OCTAVIO. Such a deed, With such a front of infamy, the duke No way desires--what he requires of us Bears a far gentler appellation. Nothing He wishes but to give the empire peace. And so, because the emperor hates this peace, Therefore the duke--the duke will force him to it. All parts of the empire will he pacify, And for his trouble will retain in payment (What he has already in his gripe)--Bohemia! MAX. Has he, Octavio, merited of us, That we--that we should think so vilely of him? OCTAVIO. What we would think is not the question here, The affair speaks for itself--and clearest proofs! Hear me, my son--'tis not unknown to thee, In what ill credit with the court we stand. But little dost thou know, or guess what tricks, What base intrigues, what lying artifices, Have been employed--for this sole end--to sow Mutiny in the camp! All bands are loosed-- Loosed all the bands that link the officer To his liege emperor, all that bind the soldier Affectionately to the citizen. Lawless he stands, and threateningly beleaguers The state he's bound to guard. To such a height 'Tis swollen, that at this hour the emperor Before his armies--his own armies--trembles; Yea, in his capital, his palace, fears The traitor's poniard, and is meditating To hurry off and hide his tender offspring-- Not from the Swedes, not from the Lutherans--no, From his own troops to hide and hurry them! MAX. Cease, cease! thou torturest, shatterest me. I know That oft we tremble at an empty terror; But the false phantasm brings a real misery. OCTAVIO. It is no phantasm. An intestine war, Of all the most unnatural and cruel, Will burst out into flames, if instantly We do not fly and stifle it. The generals Are many of them long ago won over; The subalterns are vacillating; whole Regiments and garrisons are vacillating. To foreigners our strongholds are intrusted; To that suspected Schafgotch is the whole Force of Silesia given up: to Terzky Five regiments, foot and horse; to Isolani, To Illo, Kinsky, Butler, the best troops. MAX. Likewise to both of us. OCTAVIO. Because the duke Believes he has secured us, means to lure us Still further on by splendid promises. To me he portions forth the princedoms, Glatz And Sagan; and too plain I see the bait With which he doubts not but to catch thee. MAX. No! no! I tell thee, no! OCTAVIO. Oh, open yet thine eyes! And to what purpose think'st thou he has called Hither to Pilsen? to avail himself Of our advice? Oh, when did Friedland ever Need our advice? Be calm, and listen to me. To sell ourselves are we called hither, and Decline we that, to be his hostages. Therefore doth noble Gallas stand aloof; Thy father, too, thou wouldst not have seen here, If higher duties had not held him fettered. MAX. He makes no secret of it--needs make none-- That we're called hither for his sake--he owns it. He needs our aidance to maintain himself-- He did so much for us; and 'tis but fair That we, too, should do somewhat now for him. OCTAVIO. And know'st thou what it is which we must do? That Illo's drunken mood betrayed it to thee. Bethink thyself, what hast thou heard, what seen? The counterfeited paper, the omission Of that particular clause, so full of meaning, Does it not prove that they would bind us down To nothing good? MAX. That counterfeited paper Appears to me no other than a trick Of Illo's own device. These underhand Traders in great men's interests ever use To urge and hurry all things to the extreme. They see the duke at variance with the court, And fondly think to serve him, when they widen The breach irreparably. Trust me, father, The duke knows nothing of all this. OCTAVIO. It grieves me That I must dash to earth, that I must shatter A faith so specious; but I may not spare thee! For this is not a time for tenderness. Thou must take measured, speedy ones, must act. I therefore will confess to thee that all Which I've intrusted to thee now, that all Which seems to thee so unbelievable, That--yes, I will tell thee, (a pause) Max.! I had it all From his own mouth, from the duke's mouth I had it. MAX (in excessive agitation). No! no! never! OCTAVIO. Himself confided to me What I, 'tis true, had long before discovered By other means; himself confided to me, That 'twas his settled plan to join the Swedes; And, at the head of the united armies, Compel the emperor---- MAX. He is passionate, The court has stung him; he is sore all over With injuries and affronts; and in a moment Of irritation, what if he, for once, Forgot himself? He's an impetuous man. OCTAVIO. Nay, in cold blood he did confess this to me And having construed my astonishment Into a scruple of his power, he showed me His written evidences--showed me letters, Both from the Saxon and the Swede, that gave Promise of aidance, and defined the amount. MAX. It cannot be!--cannot be! cannot be! Dost thou not see, it cannot! Thou wouldst of necessity have shown him Such horror, such deep loathing--that or he Had taken thee for his better genius, or Thou stood'st not now a living man before me. OCTAVIO. I have laid open my objections to him, Dissuaded him with pressing earnestness; But my abhorrence, the full sentiment Of my whole heart--that I have still kept safe To my own consciousness. MAX. And thou hast been So treacherous? That looks not like my father! I trusted not thy words, when thou didst tell me Evil of him; much less can I now do it, That thou calumniatest thy own self. OCTAVIO. I did not thrust myself into his secrecy. MAX. Uprightness merited his confidence. OCTAVIO. He was no longer worthy of sincerity. MAX. Dissimulation, sure, was still less worthy Of thee, Octavio! OCTAVIO. Gave I him a cause To entertain a scruple of my honor? MAX. That he did not evince his confidence. OCTAVIO. Dear son, it is not always possible Still to preserve that infant purity Which the voice teaches in our inmost heart, Still in alarm, forever on the watch Against the wiles of wicked men: e'en virtue Will sometimes bear away her outward robes Soiled in the wrestle with iniquity. This is the curse of every evil deed That, propagating still, it brings forth evil. I do not cheat my better soul with sophisms; I but perform my orders; the emperor Prescribes my conduct to me. Dearest boy, Far better were it, doubtless, if we all Obeyed the heart at all times; but so doing, In this our present sojourn with bad men, We must abandon many an honest object. 'Tis now our call to serve the emperor; By what means he can best be served--the heart May whisper what it will--this is our call! MAX. It seems a thing appointed, that to-day I should not comprehend, not understand thee. The duke, thou sayest, did honestly pour out His heart to thee, but for an evil purpose: And thou dishonestly hast cheated him For a good purpose! Silence, I entreat thee-- My friend, thou stealest not from me-- Let me not lose my father! OCTAVIO (suppressing resentment). As yet thou knowest not all, my son. I have Yet somewhat to disclose to thee. [After a pause. Duke Friedland Hath made his preparations. He relies Upon the stars. He deems us unprovided, And thinks to fall upon us by surprise. Yea, in his dream of hope, he grasps already The golden circle in his hand. He errs, We, too, have been in action--he but grasps His evil fate, most evil, most mysterious! MAX. Oh, nothing rash, my sire! By all that's good, Let me invoke thee--no precipitation! OCTAVIO. With light tread stole he on his evil way, And light of tread hath vengeance stole on after him. Unseen she stands already, dark behind him But one step more--he shudders in her grasp! Thou hast seen Questenberg with me. As yet Thou knowest but his ostensible commission: He brought with him a private one, my son! And that was for me only. MAX. May I know it? OCTAVIO (seizes the patent). Max! In this disclosure place I in thy hands [A pause. The empire's welfare and thy father's life. Dear to thy inmost heart is Wallenstein A powerful tie of love, of veneration, Hath knit thee to him from thy earliest youth. Thou nourishest the wish,--O let me still Anticipate thy loitering confidence! The hope thou nourishest to knit thyself Yet closer to him---- MAX. Father---- OCTAVIO. Oh, my son! I trust thy heart undoubtingly. But am I Equally sure of thy collectedness? Wilt thou be able, with calm countenance, To enter this man's presence, when that I Have trusted to thee his whole fate? MAX. According As thou dost trust me, father, with his crime. [OCTAVIO takes a paper out of his escritoire and gives it to him. MAX. What! how! a full imperial patent! OCTAVIO. Read it. MAX. (just glances on it). Duke Friedland sentenced and condemned! OCTAVIO. Even so. MAX. (throws down the paper). Oh, this is too much! O unhappy error! OCTAVIO. Read on. Collect thyself. MAX. (after he has read further, with a look of affright and astonishment on his father). How! what! Thou! thou! OCTAVIO. But for the present moment, till the King Of Hungary may safely join the army, Is the command assigned to me. MAX. And think'st thou, Dost thou believe, that thou wilt tear it from him? Oh, never hope it! Father! father! father! An inauspicious office is enjoined thee. This paper here!--this! and wilt thou enforce it? The mighty in the middle of his host, Surrounded by his thousands, him wouldst thou Disarm--degrade! Thou art lost, both thou and all of us. OCTAVIO. What hazard I incur thereby, I know. In the great hand of God I stand. The Almighty Will cover with his shield the imperial house, And shatter, in his wrath, the work of darkness. The emperor hath true servants still; and even Here in the camp, there are enough brave men Who for the good cause will fight gallantly. The faithful have been warned--the dangerous Are closely watched. I wait but the first step, And then immediately---- Max. What? On suspicion? Immediately? OCTAVIO. The emperor is no tyrant. The deed alone he'll punish, not the wish. The duke hath yet his destiny in his power. Let him but leave the treason uncompleted, He will be silently displaced from office, And make way to his emperor's royal son. An honorable exile to his castles Will be a benefaction to him rather Than punishment. But the first open step---- MAX. What callest thou such a step? A wicked step Ne'er will he take; but thou mightest easily, Yea, thou hast done it, misinterpret him. OCTAVIO. Nay, howsoever punishable were Duke Friedland's purposes, yet still the steps Which he hath taken openly permit A mild construction. It is my intention To leave this paper wholly unenforced Till some act is committed which convicts him Of high treason, without doubt or plea, And that shall sentence him. MAX. But who the judge OCTAVIO. Thyself. MAX. Forever, then, this paper will lie idle. OCTAVIO. Too soon, I fear, its powers must all be proved. After the counter-promise of this evening, It cannot be but he must deem himself Secure of the majority with us; And of the army's general sentiment He hath a pleasing proof in that petition, Which thou delivered'st to him from the regiments. Add this too--I have letters that the Rhinegrave Hath changed his route, and travels by forced marches To the Bohemian forests. What this purports Remains unknown; and, to confirm suspicion, This night a Swedish nobleman arrived here. MAX. I have thy word. Thou'lt not proceed to action Before thou hast convinced me--me myself. OCTAVIO. Is it possible? Still, after all thou know'st, Canst thou believe still in his innocence? MAX. (with enthusiasm). Thy judgment may mistake; my heart cannot. [Moderates his voice and manner. These reasons might expound thy spirit or mine; But they expound not Friedland--I have faith: For as he knits his fortunes to the stars, Even so doth he resemble them in secret, Wonderful, still inexplicable courses! Trust me, they do him wrong. All will be solved. These smokes at once will kindle into flame-- The edges of this black and stormy cloud Will brighten suddenly, and we shall view The unapproachable glide out in splendor. OCTAVIO. I will await it. SCENE II. OCTAVIO and MAX. as before. To then the VALET OF THE CHAMBER. OCTAVIO. How now, then? VALET. A despatch is at the door. OCTAVIO. So early? From whom comes he then? Who is it? VALET. That he refused to tell me. OCTAVIO. Lead him in: And, hark you--let it not transpire. [Exit VALET: the CORNET steps in. OCTAVIO. Ha! cornet--is it you; and from Count Gallas? Give me your letters. CORNET. The lieutenant-general Trusted it not to letters. OCTAVIO. And what is it? CORNET. He bade me tell you--Dare I speak openly here? OCTAVIO. My son knows all. CORNET. We have him. OCTAVIO. Whom? CORNET. Sesina, The old negotiator. OCTAVIO (eagerly). And you have him? CORNET. In the Bohemian Forest Captain Mohrbrand Found and secured him yester-morning early. He was proceeding then to Regensburg, And on him were despatches for the Swede. OCTAVIO. And the despatches---- CORNET. The lieutenant-general Sent them that instant to Vienna, and The prisoner with them. OCTAVIO. This is, indeed, a tiding! That fellow is a precious casket to us, Enclosing weighty things. Was much found on him? CORNET. I think, six packets, with Count Terzky's arms. OCTAVIO. None in the duke's own hand? CORNET. Not that I know. OCTAVIO. And old Sesina. CORNET. He was sorely frightened. When it was told him he must to Vienna; But the Count Altringer bade him take heart, Would he but make a full and free confession. OCTAVIO. Is Altringer then with your lord? I heard That he lay sick at Linz. CORNET. These three days past He's with my master, the lieutenant-general, At Frauenburg. Already have they sixty Small companies together, chosen men; Respectfully they greet you with assurances, That they are only waiting your commands. OCTAVIO. In a few days may great events take place. And when must you return? CORNET. I wait your orders. OCTAVIO. Remain till evening. [CORNET signifies his assent and obeisance, and is going. No one saw you--ha? CORNET. No living creature. Through the cloister wicket The capuchins, as usual, let me in. OCTAVIO. Go, rest your limbs, and keep yourself concealed. I hold it probable that yet ere evening I shall despatch you. The development Of this affair approaches: ere the day, That even now is dawning in the heaven, Ere this eventful day hath set, the lot That must decide our fortunes will be drawn. [Exit CORNET. SCENE III. OCTAVIO and MAX. PICCOLOMINI. OCTAVIO. Well--and what now, son? All will soon be clear; For all, I'm certain, went through that Sesina. MAX. (who through the whole of the foregoing scene has been in a violent and visible struggle of feelings, at length starts as one resolved). I will procure me light a shorter way. Farewell. OCTAVIO. Where now? Remain here. MAX. To the Duke. OCTAVIO (alarmed). What---- MAX. (returning). If thou hast believed that I shall act A part in this thy play, thou hast Miscalculated on me grievously. My way must be straight on. True with the tongue, False with the heart--I may not, cannot be Nor can I suffer that a man should trust me-- As his friend trust me--and then lull my conscience With such low pleas as these: "I ask him not-- He did it all at his own hazard--and My mouth has never lied to him." No, no! What a friend takes me for, that I must be. I'll to the duke; ere yet this day is ended Will I demand of him that he do save His good name from the world, and with one stride Break through and rend this fine-spun web of yours. He can, he will! I still am his believer, Yet I'll not pledge myself, but that those letters May furnish you, perchance, with proofs against him. How far may not this Terzky have proceeded-- What may not he himself too have permitted Himself to do, to snare the enemy, The laws of war excusing? Nothing, save His own mouth shall convict him--nothing less! And face to face will I go question him. OCTAVIO. Thou wilt. MAX. I will, as sure as this heart beats. OCTAVIO. I have, indeed, miscalculated on thee. I calculated on a prudent son, Who would have blessed the hand beneficent That plucked him back from the abyss--and lo! A fascinated being I discover, Whom his two eyes befool, whom passion wilders, Whom not the broadest light of noon can heal. Go, question him! Be mad enough, I pray thee. The purpose of thy father, of thy emperor, Go, give it up free booty! Force me, drive me To an open breach before the time. And now, Now that a miracle of heaven had guarded My secret purpose even to this hour, And laid to sleep suspicion's piercing eyes, Let me have lived to see that mine own son, With frantic enterprise, annihilates My toilsome labors and state policy. MAX. Ay--this state policy! Oh, how I curse it! You will some time, with your state policy, Compel him to the measure: it may happen, Because ye are determined that he is guilty, Guilty ye'll make him. All retreat cut off, You close up every outlet, hem him in Narrower and narrower, till at length ye force him-- Yes, ye, ye force him, in his desperation, To set fire to his prison. Father! father! That never can end well--it cannot--will not! And let it be decided as it may, I see with boding heart the near approach Of an ill-starred, unblest catastrophe. For this great monarch-spirit, if he fall, Will drag a world into the ruin with him. And as a ship that midway on the ocean Takes fire, at once, and with a thunder-burst Explodes, and with itself shoots out its crew In smoke and ruin betwixt sea and heaven! So will he, falling, draw down in his fall All us, who're fixed and mortised to his fortune, Deem of it what thou wilt; but pardon me, That I must bear me on in my own way. All must remain pure betwixt him and me; And, ere the daylight dawns, it must be known Which I must lose--my father or my friend. [During his exit the curtain drops. FOOTNOTES. [1] A town about twelve German miles N.E. of Ulm. [2] The Dukes in Germany being always reigning powers, their sons and daughters are entitled princes and princesses. [3] Carinthia. [4] A town not far from the Mine-mountains, on the high road from Vienna to Prague. [5] In the original,-- "Den blut'gen Lorbeer geb' ich hin mit Freuden Fuers erste Veilchen, das der Maerz uns bringt, Das duerftige Pfand der neuverjuengten Erde." [6] A reviewer in the Literary Gazette observes that, in these lines, Mr. Coleridge has misapprehended the meaning of the word "Zug," a team, translating it as "Anzug," a suit of clothes. The following version, as a substitute, I propose:-- When from your stables there is brought to me A team of four most richly harnessed horses. The term, however, is "Jagd-zug" which may mean a "hunting equipage," or a "hunting stud;" although Hilpert gives only "a team of four horses." [7] Bernhard of Saxe-Weimar, who succeeded Gustavus in command. [8] The original is not translatable into English:-- --Und sein Sold Muss dem Soldaten werden, darnach heisst er. It might perhaps have been thus rendered:-- And that for which he sold his services, The soldier must receive-- but a false or doubtful etymology is no more than a dull pun. [9] In Germany, after honorable addresses have been paid and formally accepted, the lovers are called bride and bridegreoom, even though the marriage should not take place till years afterwards. [10] I am doubtful whether this be the dedication of the cloister, or the name of one of the city gates, near which it stood. I have translated it in the former sense; but fearful of having made some blunder, I add the original,-- Es ist ein Kloster hier zur Himmelspforte. [11] No more of talk, where god or angel guest With man, as with his friend familiar, used To sit indulgent. Paradise Lost, B. IX. [12] I found it not in my power to translate this song with literal fidelity preserving at the same time the Alcaic movement, and have therefore added the original, with a prose translation. Some of my readers may be more fortunate. THEKLA (spielt and singt). Der Eichwald brauset, die Wolken ziehn, Das Maegdlein wandelt an Ufers Gruen; Es bricht sich die Welle mit Macht, mit Macht, Und sie singt hinaus in die finstre Nacht, Das Auge von Weinen getruebet: Das Herz is gestorben, die Welt ist leer, Und weiter giebt sie dem Wunsche nichts mehr. Du Heilige, rufe dein Kind zurueck, Ich babe genossen das irdische Glueck, Ich babe gelebt and geliebet. LITERAL TRANSLATION. THEKLA (plays and sings). The oak-forest bellows, the clouds gather, the damsel walks to and fro on the green of the shore; the wave breaks with might, with might, and she sings out into the dark night, her eye discolored with weeping: the heart is dead, the world is empty, and further gives it nothing more to the wish. Thou Holy One, call thy child home. I have enjoyed the happiness of this world, I have lived and have loved. I cannot but add here an imitation of this song, with which my friend, Charles Lamb, has favored me, and which appears to me to have caught the happiest manner of our old ballads:-- The clouds are blackening, the storms are threatening, The cavern doth mutter, the greenwood moan! Billows are breaking, the damsel's heart aching, Thus in the dark night she singeth alone, He eye upward roving: The world is empty, the heart is dead surely, In this world plainly all seemeth amiss; To thy heaven, Holy One, take home thy little one. I have partaken of all earth's bliss, Both living and loving. [13] There are few who will not have taste enough to laugh at the two concluding lines of this soliloquy: and still fewer, I would fain hope, who would not have been more disposed to shudder, had I given a faithful translation. For the readers of German I have added the original:-- Blind-wuethend schleudert selbst der Gott der Freude Den Pechkranz in das brennende Gebaeude. Publication Date: May 21st 2008 https://www.bookrix.com/-bx.schiller

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-milli-may-skys-drugs-and-love-for-a-change/

Milli-May skys Drugs and Love for a Change one- I was sitting in my room reading a book listening to music when I saw two hands come over the book and rip out my ear buds. "What the fuck?!?" I yelled. "Now that I got your attention...." My mom said, then handed my earbuds back to me. "I have some exciting news." She just stood there with a smile. "Well....?" I said. "Oh yeah! We're moving to Orange County!" She said jumping up and down like a child at a candy store. My mouth dropped. "Shut up!" I said loudly. "Yeah I got a job! See!" She said shoving a letter ontop of my book. "When did we agree on this?!? How??? When??? Why???" I asked. "I applied last week. I didnt think I would get the job. I was going to tell you but then I decided not to because I didnt think I would get the job." She smiled. "We cant move!!" I said loudly. "Well why not?" She asked with a frown. "Because my friends are here! Everything for me is here!" I said pointing to the ground. "Well you can make new friends and theres things there for you too." She said with a smile. "I don't want new friends!!! I can't leave Jace!!! I yelled. "Honey Jace is like your only friend here. In Orange County theres lots of new people to impress." She said shaking her head. My face fell. How could a mother say that to her daughter? I was so shocked I ran passed her. "Veronica?!?" I heard her yell as I ran out the door. I ran acrossed the street to Jaces' house. I didnt even knock. I ran up the stairs to his room. "Ronnie?" Jace asked surprised. I bent over trying to catch my breath. "Okay." I breathed. "Whats up?" He asked. "My mom got a job in Orange County! Im moving!!" I said angerliy. What?!? You can't move!!!" He yelled pulling me into a tight hug. "What am I going to do without you?" I asked tears coming down my cheeks. He pulled me away from him, "You'll be fine...Everything will be fine Ron." Hewiped my tears away. "Any ideas?" I asked. "Oh maybe we can convince your mom to let you stay here with me." He smiled. I half smiled, "Not a chance. She still thinks there's something going on between us." He smiled, "That's true." "So this is it...Im moving and there's nothing i can do about it."I sighed laying on Jaces' bed." I'll never survive!!" I yelled picking my head up. "Dont say that Ron" .He said sitting by my feet. I plopped my head back down. "I have no friends to run to when me and my mom get into a fight...Im damned..." I mummbled into the bed. "Then make some." He said hitting the back of my cafe. "You know how hard it is for me to make friends..."I mummbled. "Its not hard for you to make friends..If that was true then we wouldnt be best friends right now."He said. I let out a breath. "And we, I can take a plane out there if its okay with your mom."He said. I flew up startling him. "Oh my god thats a great idea!!" I yelled trying to smack his leg but missed and hit him in the crouch. He let out a groan and rolled over on his side. I jumped up, "I know what I can do now!! I will tell my mom im not going with her unless she lets you come and visit this summer!! I said loudly. "Sorry about your nuts Jace!!" I called runing down the stairs and out the door. As I ran acrossed the street my feet burned. I was so shocked I forgot to put on shoes. My mom was in the kitchen on the phone as I slid acrossed the wood floor to a stop. "She just walked in. I'll call you back." She said and hung up. "Mom im not going!" I announced. "What do you mean your not going?!?" She asked with a frown. "Unless." I held up a finger, "Unless you buy a plane ticket for Jace to come spend the summer with us. "Jace can visit when I have enough money." She said. "Yes!" I yelled, punching the air. "Now go pack!" She said shooing me. I ran down the hall to my room. I texted Jace to come and help me pack. "I brought tape." He said. I nodded putting stuff into a box. He layed on my bed. "I still dont understand why your mom thinks we are doing something together."He said throwing one of my angry bird stuffed animals in the air and catching it. I groaned putting more stuff into a box. "I could act gay if that helps."He said. "Hey make yourself useful and hand me the tape." I said holding a top of a box closed. He threw it at me. "Thanks..." I said sarcasticly. "Your welcome." He said and continued talking. I rolled my eyes. "Jace?" I asked. "Yeah?"He asked. "Are you going to help me?" I asked putting my bleach blonde hair up. He turned to look around the room," Nah it looks like you got it handled." He turned back. I let out a sigh. I got up and grabbed a pillow. I wacked him one time in the face .I laughed as he looked around. "What the fuck!" He yelled. "That was for being a dick and not helping me.This one is just because I want to."I said trying to hit him again. He grabbed the pillow and yanked it to him pulling me with it. I fell ontop of him. We both laughed, as we shruggled to pin each other. Suddently he stopped and staired behind me. I followed his gaze to see my mother standing at the door. "And you wonder why I think you guys are a thing..." My mom said shutting my door. We both laughed. I put my head on his chest and he wrapped his arms around me. "Im going to miss you." He whispered. "Im gunna miss you too." I whispered back before we fell asleep. I stood in the front yard of my old house hugging Jace. I never wanted to let him go. "Make sure you send me the ticket." He said still hugging me his chin resting on my head. "I will." I laughed letting him go. I looked at him as he bit his lip. His eyes were a baby blue. The color they always got before he cried. "You'll be fine Jace.You've got more friends then I do." I smiled giving him another hug. He kissed the top of my head. As I backed away from him he loosened his grip on my hand. I got in the car and waved to him untill I couldn't see him anymore. "Seat belt." My mom said. I rolled my eyes and put it on. "Ronnie please no attitude. We have a long drive ahead of us." She said not taking her eyes off the rode. I rolled my eyes again and opened my book. I woke to my mom shaking me. "We're here." She said getting out. I turned my head to where the voices were. I smiled when I saw my moms boyfriend wave to me. I havent seen him in a couple months. He moved out here for a job. Just like us. I got out and strechted. "Hi Ronnie." Jeff said. I just walked passed them and into the house. "Shes not very happy about moving." I heard my mom say. I walked in and closed the door. I waited 5 minutes and then walked back out. "I hate it." I said to my mom. She just stared at me. "Its ugly. Our old house was prettier." I spat. "Well get over it!!! I'm tired of your attitude!! I understand you dont want to live here but my job is here!!! So get over it!!!" She yelled. "I hate you." I mummbled going to sit back in the car. I watched them agure. "Whatever!!!" I heard my mom say and sit on the front step of the house. Jeff opened the door," Get your stuff.Your coming to live with me for awhile." He said calmly. I got out and got my box of clothes and other stuff I would need. I put it in his car and sat in the front seat. He kissed my mother goodbye and got into the car. "Alright I hope your hungry because im starving." He said while pulling out of the driveway. He drove to a near by taco bell. He ordered our food and we took it to go. "Its a condo...I know its not much but it works for now." He said unlocking the front door. "Oh its fine. It cant be that bad." I laughed. "You can look around if you would like while I get your stuff."He said and disappeared. I walked in the living room first. It was very large and plain. The walls were a dark grey with dark grey carpet. There was a flat screen tv and one long leather black couch sitted on a white square carpet. There was like a couple of pictures of him and my mother on the walls. I walked to the kitchen next. It was clean like it hadnt been touched in a while. The counters were black marbel. The cupboards and cabnets were white. The floor was wood. Not a very good combination with the color of the counters or anything eles. "Okay." I heard someone say, other than Jeff. I went around the coner to see who it was. It was a tall boy with dark hair. "Uh who are you?"I asked. "Oh hi you must be Jeffs step daughter. Im Alec the nieghbor."He said holding out his hand. I staired at his hand and then back to his face. His eyes were a dark grey. Is everything here grey? I thought to myself. He chuckled nervously putting his hand down. "Oh I see you already met Alec our neighbor. Hes your age...So I thought why not get you two to meet. So you will have atleast one friend here." Jeff smiled. I nodded with a half smile. "Well anyways Alec this is my soon to be step daughter Veronica." Jeff said. "Nice to meet you Veronica." Alec said. "Ronnies fine."I said shaking his hand. "Uh so how you like the place?"Jeff asked. "Its nice." I said. He nodded. "Well im sorry to leave you so soon but I have to get back to work."He said and kissed my forehead and left. "So are you going to stay here or..." I asked. "If you want me to." Alec said. "I really dont care." I said sitting on the couch and grabbing the remote. "Okay." He said jumping over the couch to sit next to me. I turned on the tv. As we watched tv my phone buzzed. "Oh I almost forgot.Theres money under the couch cushion for you. Its for anything you might need when im gone." Jeff texted. "Got it and thanks."I texted back. "Are you going to check how much it is or am I?"Alec asked not taking his eyes off the tv. "You read my text?"I asked. He shrugged his shoulders. I rolled my eyes playfully. I got up and checked under the cushion.There was a roll of money with a rubber band around it and a copy of the house key. I grabbed them and started counted the money. My mouth dropped. "How much is it?" He asked. "400 dollars." I stuttered. Alec nodded. "Thats alot of money Alec...What am I supposed to do with this?" "Spend it." "Spend it?" "Yeah spend it at the mall. Most girls do that." He laughed. "What am I supposed to spend it on? And how am I supposed to get there?" I asked. "Spend it on something you like and I have a car." He said still watching tv. "Uh okay.." I said unsure. "Okay lets go."He said turning off the tv. I followed him out the door. I locked the house up and we got into his suv. "You know you dont have to take me. I can like take a bus." "Nah its nothing. I have nothing better to do." He said pulling out of my driveway. We didnt talk much the way there. He parked and we made our way to the front of the mall. It was huge. Three floors is huge to me. "So where do you want to go first?" He asked. "Well first I want something to eat. Jeff got me del taco but I dont eat that." I said. He laughed and led me to a McDonalds. I ordered food for me and him. "So you used to live in San Diego and then now you live here?" Alec asked. I nodded sipping some of my soda. "Why?" He asked. I laughed, "Because my mother made me."  "Oh...So you dont get along with your mom?"  "Eh...Sometimes" He nodded while sipping his soda. "Well enough about my life.Whats your life like?" I asked. "Uh rich parents that are never home. A sister that is 16 that acts like shes 14." He laughed. "So pretty much your parents just pay the bill and your stuck taking care of your sister?" "Pretty much." He laughed. I laughed too. "Alec!!!" Someone shouted. We looked around. It was a group of guys. "Oh hey!!"Alec called waving them over. Great..I thought to myself. "You didnt tell us you had a girlfriend." A guy with gages and tattoos said looking at me like he wanted to eat me. "Nah bro this isnt my girlfriend.This is Ronnie my new neighbor." Alec said. "Ronnie this is Levi." He said pointing to a boy with black hair and bright blue eyes. He waved. I smiled and waved back. "And this is Ryan." He said pointing to the boy in the middle. "And then finally this is Joesoph."He said pointing to the boy with the gages and tats. "So what are you guys doing out?" "Oh you know looking for some bitches to pick up and then decided to come here." Joesoph said glancing at me. "And by bitches he means weed." Ryan said smileing. "Pot heads." Alec said. "Oh shut up Alec you do it too." Levi said. I laughed. "I do not!!" He said. "Look dont listen to them. I dont do those bad things." He said grabding my hands. I nodded and laughed. "Alright well im going to show the lady around because I know youve been boring her." Ryan said. "I am not..Im not boring am I? Alec asked me. I shook my head. "She's lying to you." Ryan said grabbing my hand and pulling me away. We walked side by side after we left. You must have been really uncomfortable sitting there with guys that you dont even know all around you." Ryan said. "Kinda." I laughed. "Yeah well you dont have to feel that way with me. Im pretty much a calm person. Well that is because i'm almost always high but other then that im pretty chill. Joesophs the one you need to watch out for. Hes kinda a little horn dog. Levi is nothing to worry about." He said leading me to a hottopic. "So be careful for Joesoph and Levis good?" I asked. He nodded. "So you smoke weed?" He asked. I shook my head. "You drink?" I shook my head. "Pop pills? Go to parties? Damn girl what do you do?"He asked. "I dont do drugs and I have never been to a party before." I said looking through some clothes. "Really?" I nodded. "You need to get out more." He laughed. "Hey dont make fun of me..." I laughed. "Im not." He laughed. "Whatever." I said rolling my eyes playfully. I bought a couple of shirts and then we went to wet seal. "So have you met Rosealyn yet?" He asked. "Whose Rosealyn?"  "Alecs sister." I shook my head. "Oh you will...Lets just say shes a wild one." He chuckled. "Okay...Why whats wrong with her?" I asked. "Youll see." He laughed. I bought some shorts and we left. We started walking for forever 21. "So now you live with your step dad?" "Yup." "Ryan!!!Ronnie!!!" We heard Alec yell. We stopped and turned around. He cuaght up to us. "I'm sorry Ronnie but I have to go. My sister is stranded somewhere." He breathed. "Yeah I understand go." I said. He nodded and took off with Levi. "Okay well I have a weed call. So am i taking you home?" Ryan asked. I was about to answer before Joesoph butted in. "Ill take her home. Im going that way anyways." Ryan gave him a look. "Im not going to try anything on her. Promise." Joesoph said. "You better not Joe." He said and gave me a long hug goodbye. "Ready?" Joesoph asked biting his lip. "Yup." I said walking past him. He led me to his truck. He put my bags in the backseat and opened my door for me. I fake smiled and got in. He got in the other side and started driving. It was a silent ride to my house. He parked in the drive way. "Well here we are." I smiled reaching in the back seat but he stopped me. "Yeah here we are." He whispered moving a piece of my blond hair out of my face. "I thought you promised you werent going to try anything on me..." I whispered my heart beating fast. "Yeah I did but theres just one problem.." He said looking forward. "Whats that?" I asked. "I've never kept a promise in my life." He smirked pulling my face to his."You scared?" I shook my head. He smiled and kissed me slowly. I kissed back. Who wouldnt? This guy was hot. He licked my bottom lip asking for an entrance. I let him. As our tounges danced his hands travled to my chest. There was a knock on his window and we both jumped. "Its Jeff...." He mumbled and rolled down his window. "So you want to tell me why your all over my daughter?" Jeff asked. "Sorry sir. I was just bringing her home." "Yeah just bringing her home my ass. Ronnie get out of the car." Jeff said and Joesoph rolled up his window. "Bye.." I sighed. "Another time babe?" He asked. "Maybe..." I said with a shy smile. I hopped out of his truck and walked with Jeff to the condo. I put my bags on the bed that was in the spear room. I pulled out my phone and started texting Jace. "So um I see you met some new friends and a new boyfriend...." Jeff said from my doorway. I turned to face him, "He's not my boyfriend." I said flatly. "Oh but you want him to be." "No I dont." I said looking him striaght in the eyes. "Thats not what your tounge said." He said walking down the hall. "Jeff!!!" I yelled. I could hear him laugh. I shook my head with a smile and went back to my phone. I told Jace what had happened. Wow and Jeff caught you guys? He texted. Yeah...Buzz kill...I swear. I texted. Well at least you found a boyfriend. He texted. I got into bed and pulled the covers over me. Hes not my boyfriend. I texted back. Okay...Goodnight. He texted back. Night. I texted. I put my phone down on the white side table. I rolled over in my bed. I touched my lips still remembering that kiss. I closed my eyes thinking about it.   two- I woke to the sound of the door bell going off. I rolled out of bed. I looked through the peep whole and saw Alec. I rolled my eyes and put up my hair in a messy bun.I reached for the nob and opened it. "Goodmorning sunshine." He smiled. "Morning."I yawned. "Can I ask a favor? He asked. "What." I said with my arms crossed over my chest. "Let go of me!!!!" Someone screamed. I jumped at the sound. "Ryan I swear to god!!!!" She screamed again. Ryan was holding a dark red haired girl. "Can I bring my sister in here? I lost my house keys." Alec said. "Sure."I said. "I'm going to rip off your ball sack!!!" She screamed in Ryans face. The girl obvisouly had to be Rosealyn. "Great." He said. "Bring her in." Alec called to Ryan. Ryan nodded and struggled to walk with her kicking and screaming. "Joey!!!" She screamed and finally got away from Ryan. She ran and jumped on Joesoph who just got out of his car. She wraped her legs around his waist. "Hey sexy." He said before pressing his lips to hers. My face fell. Now I know why Ryan told me to watch out for him... Everyone came in my house and  I shut the door. "Rosealyn this has to stop!!!" Alec yelled at her. She just sat on the couch glaring at him. I"'m tired of this!!!" He yelled. "Well you dont have to come get me." She snapped. "Well if I didn't I would be a bad brother!!" He yelled. "Well just leave me alone!!!! Just get off my case!!!" She yelled crossing her arms. "Your grounded." He said calmly. "Whatever." She mummbled. "It wont be whatever when theres a big party and you cant go." He said. She shrugged. "I can never get through to you!!!"Alec yelled throwing his hands up. "Just leave me alone and you wont have problems." She mummbled. Rosealyn was a very pretty girl. She had really light blue eyes that looked almost green. She had her dimples, septum, and lip pierced. Alec rolled his eyes, "Rosey if you cant work with me here...I'll be forced to call mom and dad." "You do it and I will be gone faster then you can get a hard on." She said. Joesoph started laughed. "Dont laugh Joe." Alec snapped. Joesoph looked down and smiled. "Whatever im done talking to you." He said and sat down on the other couch. "So you must be Rosealyn." I said trying to ease up the mood. Her head snapped up to look at me. She glared at first and then nodded. "You are?" She asked irratated. "Oh im Ronnie." I said. She nodded again. "Im new. I just moved here from San Diego."I said.  Veronica- Alec- Ryan- Levi- Joesoph- Rosealyn- Three- I followed Rosealyn to door.We almost made it out until Alec stood infront of us. "What part of your grounded did you not get?"He asked. "Alec I just wanted to take Ronnie to the mall and show her around."She pleaded. He crossed his arms over his chest. "Please?"She begged. "I'm sorry Rosealyn the answers no."He said. She rolled her eyes and brought me to my room.I watched her pace back and forth. "I've got nothing..."She breathed sitting on the bed next to me. "I have an idea."I said. "What?"She asked. "Why don't we go through the window."I said. "Oh my god your brilliant!"She grinned going over to the window. She opened it and climbed out.She motioned for me to go next.I climbed out and shut it.We ran to her car giggling and hopped in.She turned it on and took off down the street. ******* "What do you think of this?"I asked holding up a long sleeved pink shirt. Rosealyn started laughing. "What?"I asked. "Are you serious?"She laughed. I just stared at her. "Oh god you are..."She said snatching it from me. She looked through a rack of clothes and handed me a light blue jeaned belly shirt. "I can't wear this!"I said handing it back. "And why the hell not!"She said crossing her arms. "Cause its so out of my comfort zone..."I whispered. "Look if you want to wear shirts that cover everything and baggy pants be my quest but you will never fit it here."She said walking away. "Rosealyn wait."I called. She stopped. "I'll at least try it on."I said and she turned. "Great besides you totally have the body for it."She smiled and I went to the dressing room. I tried it on and came out. "Okay."I said. "Oh my god its perfect.Ring that up."She said to the cashier. "No Rosealyn i don't have money for this."I said. "Its fine.I'll put it on my tab."She smiled and swipped her credit card. I rolled my eyes as she pulled the tag off.I followed her out the door and to the bathroom.I watched as she looked through every stall.She pulled out a pipe. "Rosealyn what are you doing!"I yelled. "Smoking a little weed.Would you keep it down and keep watch."She said putting it up to her mouth. I rolled my eyes and peeked out the door. "If we get caught I swear."I said. "We are not going to.I do this all the time so just calm down."She said takeing a hit. "Rosealyn we are talking jail time."I whispered. "You know maybe you should take a hit."She laughed. "Are you crazy?"I asked. "Ron I was kidding..."She said. I starred at her pipe. "I mean unless you want to.."She said handing it to me. "I can't...I mean I don't even know how it works."I said. "Oh its easy you just put this up to your mouth."She said pointing to the long part."Then you put your finger on this hole and don't let go till I say."She said. I nodded and put it up to my mouth and put my finger on the little hole on the side.She lite it and told me to suck until I wanted to stop.She told me to let go of the hole and keep sucking. "Hold it in."She smiled. I nodded. "Okay now let it out."She said and I did. "That easy?"I said. "That easy."She laughed. "Alright let me hit it again."I said. "Okay."She laughed ******* We sat at Mcdonalds eating our fries and burgers. "Oh my god."Rosealyn laughed. "What?"I asked. "I have 13 missed calls from my brother and 5 texts from Joesoph."She laughed. I flinched at Joesophs name.How was I going to tell her that her boyfriend kissed me in his car. "Speaking off the devil."She smiled and answered her phone. Alec was yelling so loud I think the whole Mcdonalds could hear.Rosealyn put him on speaker phone. "When you get back consider your social life over.I cant even talk to you right now!!"He yelled. Rosealyn fell back in her chair laughing.I was slapping my leg cause I was laughing so hard. "Rose?"Someone asked from the phone. "Thats my name."She laughed. "Its Joe."He said. "Oh hi babe!"She yelled. "What are you on?"He asked. "Weed."We both laughed. "Tell them we are coming!"Alec yelled in the backround. Rosealyn clicked end on her phone and we both flew up.We grabbed our bags and started running. "Watch out he could be anywhere."he said. We turned the corner and there they were.Levi spotted us and we started running.They ran after us.With 3 bags in each hand its kinda hard to run fast.Joesoph grabbed Rosealyn and Levi grabbed me. "I tell you your grounded and what do you do?You leave anyway!"Alec yelled at Rosealyn. "Alec it really wasn't her fault.I was the one who wanted to go to the mall."I said sitting next to her on a bench. "You!!!Im so disappointed in you for going with her and smoking weed!!"He yelled at me. I looked down.I looked over at Rosealyn who was watching Joesoph make googly eyes with a blonde across the way.Rosealyn got up and grabbed Joesoph by his shirt and starting making out with him.The girl turned away. Alec rolled his eyes. "Lets go."He said grabbing a couple bags. "Your an ass."Joesoph said to Rosealyn and threw her over his shoulder. Levi came over to pick me up but Ryan got to me first.I felt bad. Four- "Now I'm going to go get pizza and I'm leaving Joe here to keep a eye on you guys."Alec said and left with Ryan and Levi. Joesoph watched tv while me and Rose sat there. "I'm so bored..."She groaned. "Me too."I said. "Does your step dad have anything to drink here?"She asked. "Yeah we have juice."I said. Joesoph started laughing. "Sweetie I mean alcohol."She smiled getting up. I followed her to the kitchen.We looked through cuberds. "Found it."She smiled holding up a bottle of captain morgan. She grabbed two classes from the drain rack and filled them up halfway.She pushed one over to me and I. "Oh I don't drink."I said. "You don't do anything."She said. "I do to.I smoked weed with you."I said. "Stop being a pussy.Your 17.Which means you need to have fun in life."She said handing it to me. "Drink."She said. "Fine but just to prove to you I'm not a pussy."I said. I drank the first cup.We kept drink till it was almost gone. "What ae you guys doing?"Joe askedHe snatched the bottle out of Roses hand."Captain Morgan...Good drink."He said before drinking the rest. Rosealyn rolled a joint and lite it.She passed it to me and I took a hit.I let it out slowly and passed it back to her. "Do you know what a shot gun is?"She asked me. "Nope."I said shaking my head. "Oh its easy and fun.Just watch."She said walking over to Joesoph. She took a hit and blew it into his mouth. "See easy and sexy."She laughed. I nodded and laughed.Her phone rang and she told me to try it with Joe before leaving the room.I was shocked she would let me do that with her boy friend.Maybe shes just not the jealous type.Joesoph stared at me with a smerk.He walked over to me with the joint in his hand. "Ready?"He asked. I nodded quickly. He then took a hit and placed his lips on mine.He blew it in my mouth slowly.I could feel his hot breath.I let it out. "I did it."I said excited. "Yay..."He whispered slipping his hand on my lower back. "Now lets try something else."He smerked and then pressed his lips to mine. I kissed back at first then realized I was kissing Roses boy friend again.....I pushed him away from me.He had a shocked look on his face. "Whats wrong?"He asked. "What are you doing?!"I asked angerliy. "Kissing you??What do you think I'm doing?"He asked. "Joesoph we can't..."I said. "What do you mean we can?"He asked sounding irritated. "Rosealyns my best friend!"I yelled. "Rosealyn?What does this have to do with Rose?"He asked confused. "Aren't you two dateing?"I asked confused. He then started laughing uncontrollably.Rose walked in confused. "Joe why are you laughing so hard?"She asked. "Ronnie....Thinks me and....You...Are dating..."He said between laughs. A smile crepted on her face. "Well how was she supposed to know?!We are always all over each other..."She yelled at him. I felt really embarrassesed. "Me and him aren't dating sweetie.We are like best friends.We both just like to makeout with each other and nothing more."She said. I nodded and Joe finally stopped laughing.Rose smacked him on the chest and he smacked her ass.My phone started ringing and it was Jace.I walked out side in the front and answered it. "Hello."I said. "Hey Ron."Jace said. "Oh my god Jace I just got humiliated."I said sitting on a brick wall that divided my house and Roses houses. "What happened?"He asked. "Well I thought Rose and Joesoph were dating..."I said. "Uh whose Rose?"He asked. "Rose is my best girl friend."I said. "Oh okay.So let me guess they weren't."He said. "Yeah and know I probably lost all chances with Joesoph."I said. "Oh come on Ron don't be so hard on yourself.Atleast you know hes free."He laughed. "Yeah I guess."I sighed. "Who are you talking to?Is that Jace?"Rose asked walking over to me. "Yeah and no your not talking to him."I said holding the phone from her. She managed to grab it from me and held me back. "Hey is this Jace?"She asked struggling to hold me back. "This is Rose.Are you cute because Ronnie won't tell me."She said. "Oh I am."She said. "Rosealyn give me the phone!"I laughed. "Okay sounds good.I'll hold you to that deal."She smiled. "Okay heres Veronica."She said rolling her eyes. She handed it to me and went back inside. "What did you tell her?"I asked. "I told her I would go on a date with her."He laughed. "Are you gunna do it."I laughed. "Hell no.No offence but your best friend sounds like a slut."He said. "Shes the school player."I said. "Oh okay now I know to look out with her."He laughed. "Yeah well I better get back in there."I said. "Yeah I have football practice in an hour."He said. "Okay well I'll talk to you later bestie."I said "Okay bye."He said and hung up. I walked back in the house and sat down on the couch. "Jace had to go?"Rose asked sitting on Joes lap. "Yeah he had football practice."I said. "Oh your into football players."Joe asked. "They are best friends."Rose said. "Well you still have us."Joe said wrapping his arm around me. "Yeah..."I smiled and layed my head on his chest. Rose held my hand. The front door opened.The smell of pizza floated into the room.Joe and Rose were the first ones to get a slice.Ryan brought me one and we all sat down and ate. Alec come smoke with me.Rose said after we were all done eating. He got up and went into the kitchen.Levi and Ryan followed.I stayed in the living room with Joe.He stared at me for a minute. What are you staring at?I asked. I'm just trying to figure out why your so pretty.She smiled. I rolled my eyes playfully. He slipped his hand between my thighs.I pushed his hand away.He just smiled and nodded.We sat in silence for a bit.He leaned over and kissed me softly before I could say anything.I ran my fingers through his hair as he deepened the kiss.Our tongues wrestled and he layed me down.He grabbed my thighs tightly and layed between them.I couldn't help but shake.I was scared.I never did anything with a guy other then makeout. Wow.Get a room.Rose laughed. Joe laughed and got off of me.He ran a hand through his hair.I sat up.Alec shook his head and Levi looked down. "Hey Ron come hit this blunt with me."Ryan said. I nodded. I went outside with him.We sat on lawn chairs and smoked. "Hey Joes not coming onto srong is he?"Ryan asked. I shook my head. "Okay just making sure because hes known to come on to strong."He said taking a hit. "Nah its cool."I said. "You let me know if it ever gets to much."He said. I nodded. We finished up and went back inside.Joe sat on the couch with a irratated look on his face.Alec was asleep and Rose was talking to Levi.Ryan sat down on the floor.I sat next to Joe.I pulled out my phone.I wrote whats wrong and handed it to Joe.He started writing and handed it back.He told me he wanted to talk to me about something in the other room.I stood up and he followed me. "Wear a condom."Ryan said. "Shut up."Joe said. We went in my room and I shut the door. "So whats up?"I asked. "Alec keeps giving me shit about you and me."He said. "What do you mean?"I asked. "He wants me to leave you alone."He said. "Well are you going to listen?"I asked. He paused and looked at me. "I just want to kiss you right now."He said. "Then do it."I said. "But I can't."He groaned. "Just fuck what Alec said."I said. He smiled and pushed me against the wall.I smiled.He kissed me hard.He trailed kisses down my neck to my chest.He tried to take my shirt off.I shook my head. "Just let me unhook your bra then."He whispered. I shook my head. He groaned. "I'm scared Joe."I said. "What do you mean your scared?Wait are you a virgin?"He asked. I nodded. "Oh wow even better."He said in a husky voice. He grabbed my hips and lifted me up.I wrapped my legs around his waist. "Joe I'm serious."I said. "Its okay.I'll be real gentle."He whispered. He licked up my neck.My body shivered. "Joe."I moaned as he put his hand between my thighs. He stopped and sighed.He put me down. "I'm sorry...I'm just not ready."I said. He nodded.We walked out.Joe walked outside to smoke.Ryan was the only one awake.He patted next to him and I layed down.He wrapped his arm around me. "You didn't do it."He said. I shook my head. Publication Date: March 10th 2014 https://www.bookrix.com/-aj362face961925

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-pierre-forein-so-we-meet-again/

Pierre Forein, J.L. W. So We Meet Again Two Sister In Law To A special friend of Mine, JLW and I who put together our head for this book. Verse I - “Are you ready yet, Misako?” Carla yelled at Misako who was still sleeping in her bed. Her round, gray eyes mid-opened, and she was dreaming of the day Boris will propose to her in her favorite restaurant in town. She did not know what happened because she woke up in the middle of the dream questioning what would be her reply if it ever came up for real. Surely, Boris proposed and she agreed to marry him.   - “Misako, I have something I have to go buy at the market. I have to leave now. Will you come with Santos for me?” Carla explained to her while she brushed her long blonde hair before the mirror and daydreamed at the same time. - “Of course, Carla. Besides Boris will accompany me to Grandma birthday. He should be on his way.” Misako mentioned to her while passing her bath towel. Carla left ten minutes later leaving Santos of the kitchen table savouring his favorite breakfast, Pancake. Misako, the daughter of Carla’s sister, she died twenty years ago. She left Misako in her custody hoping she would get a good education. Carla of course often watched and said over her sister grave: “I accomplish everything you wanted for your daughter.” Carla and his sister became close and more than family after their father left them to die in a fire when their childhood. Misako now reached thirty years of age and she traveled in the middle road of her life. She had a career in law, she became a renowned lawyer. she has been working for a prestigious firm in Russian City and she had been living there with Carla ever since. Santos who still heated in the kitchen heard a knock on the door and went to see who. He recognized the face of Boris. Boris became friend with Misako at the University and he became Misako’s fiancee five years later. Young, firm white man, about 7 feet tall, weighed 190 pounds, with muscles, and a great form. - “Hi Santos, are you ok man?” He greeted the little one who smiled by seeing him. - “Where is your sister?” Boris has not finished the sentence when Misako appeared, came down the stairs. She shook her hair from right to left to adjust the misplace ones. Boris watched the beauty of Misako enlightened his morning again. Long, blonde hair, a round face with  a long smile, a curve body with a pretty round buttock in a tight jean. Misako covered her sleeveless shirt with a fine and thick blouse. - “Good Morning honey.” Misako received him with a kiss while Santos did the little kid smile. - “You ready, today you are going to meet Grandma.” - “I can’t wait.” Boris mentioned with a great smile while starting to put the dish in the car. - “Carla will join us at home. She had some courses to do before going to Grandma house.” - “Come Santos, we will be going now.” - “Do not forget the gifts.” Verse II - “Uncle, I need those tools. Can you pick them up for me?” Aria asked her uncle while decorating the cake for the party. - “Honey, Can you take this dish to the car for me? Thanks.” Aria, niece of uncle Abraham, had been the favorite of all who knew, know, and has known her. Since she had been able to understand, she became the most responsible for everything; Party, graduation, ceremony of all sorts. Aria joined her uncle after she escaped from her orphanage where her mother gave her in adoption. This day marked a great sadness for the orphanage because everyone knew who was Aria. - “I am done with the cake. Be careful, Kenley.” Aria took off the kitchen robe and wiped her nose, eyes, and cleaned her hands. - “Honey, you have to go take care of yourself.” - “I know, give me ten minutes.” She was not kidding when she only mentioned ten minutes. By the times the guys could finish their drink in the living room, Aria had her blue sky dress on, leaving her black hair floating, adjusting her tight red skirt, matching her long black trouse. She picked up the car key on the kitchen and checked for the bottle of wine. - “You are as radiant as ever, my love.” Kenley commented while posing a charming kiss on her cheek. - “Thanks. Uncle, you are ready to see Grandma again?” - “I don’t know. She might not want to see me.” - “Don’t worry, you will be fine.” Aria assured him with confidence with a smile of her mother as Uncle looked at her at that moment. - “Kenley, it will be best if you drive.” Abraham suggested in looking at him suspiciously. Kenley met Aria on the city where she has been living for the past fifteen years. They originally met on the public market of the city where Kenley father worked as Administrator Assistant and Kenley as Supervisor. Kenley was a black man with a little luck and a good brain. He knew he had to work hard, so he did what he had to survive. Slim but tall about 6.5 feet, weighed 185 pounds, and I had a degree in Management. Kenley had ambition and dream, but the closest he had, was about Aria. A surprise he prepared for Aria in her Grandma birthday. verse III     Misako arrived first with Boris and Santos at Grandma house. She took a good look at the house where she used to live before… the memories were cruel sometimes and terrifying for her. The accident did leave her with scars and pain in her legs and ribs. She could not shake that moment of her head most of times. The words she remembered well. “You take care of my little girl for me, sister.” Her eyes started to be red when Malus approached her slowly in front of the car. - “Malus, where is Grandma? Is she awake yet? I want to greet her before everyone.” Misako asked Malus, the nurse lady who was taking care of Grandma for a while after her crisis. - “She just woke up, she is preparing herself to come down.” Malus responded while showing her the stairs. - “Malus, Help Boris please with the dish and the gifts.” - “Of course Miss.” Misako entered the house she grew up with her uncle when he was married to Carla. The waiting room have not changed specially with the flower decorating chair and table set. They remained like new as she touched them as a memory she could require by feeling the tissue under her fingers. The living room, and the Patio did not get much dust either. Beside there were more flowers and herbs on the patio, she thought of Grandma as she has always loved flowers and the garden. - “Did you miss the house, my dear?” The voice said with a tendency to welcome Misako in her old mansion. - “Grandma, oh, how I missed you.” Misako threw herself in grandma’s arm for a big hug for ages of absence. - “Let me see you dear. You are more beautiful than I remember.” - “I kind of grow up again, Grandma.” - “Well, what are you doing here at this time?” - “Nothing. Well, Carla is supposed to meet me here today. Isn't she here?” Misako asked looking at every direction hoping to see Carla. “She left early than me even though she had some courses to do.” - “So my child, what did you do in this past twelve years?” Grandma asked while Misako was pouring some drinks to go to the living room. Misako told her what had been and have been happening in the past twelve years. Memories, jokes, and tears came crashing down as they talked more about the past. Meanwhile malus helped Boris putting the dish in the kitchen. - “Oh, I brought two people with me. Santos and my fiancee, Boris.” - “Good Morning, Madam, I heard a lot about you. It is a joy to finally meet you.” Santos jumped to Grandma arms - “You will excuse me, I just learned of your presence in my grand daughter life.” - “I understand we will have plenty to talk about after I greet my children.” Grandma added while holding Santos in her arms for him to lie down on her. - “Mother, are you here?” The voice was recognized by all the people in the living room starting with Santos who run into her arm to Grandma who was surprised of a visit from her own daughter, Carla. Verse IV     The swift sound of a car parked again in front of Grandma house with Aria, Kenley, and Uncle Abraham. Malus once again appeared to greet the most loved person by Grandma. She got down with her smile always brighter than ever. She hugged Malus with a strength of reconnaissance for everything she had done for her while she was living at this house. - “I miss you sister, How are you doing?” - “Same old, same old.” - “Have you stolen the man yet?” - “Which one?” Malus asked surprised by the question. - “The one who will become your husband.” Aria mentioned between her smile to her. Malus gave her the eyes of what-do-you-think question. Aria smiled again. She entered the house leaving Malus helping uncle and Kenley with the rest of the dish. As Aria, she noticed the stairs mostly the third one where she sat when she first came here to live with her uncle and Carla. This moment was precious for her. This was the first time she was going to a proper family line from her ancestors. The first two years she spent in this house sure had been the best she had. After came the beginning of the battle between Carla and Uncle. She shook her head to send the memories away, which succeeded by the words of someone in the livingroom. - “Good Morning Aria, you have grown in these past days. Becoming a woman.” Her voice sounded ironic and uncomfortable for Aria’s ears. Carla walked toward her with a glass of vodka at hand. - “Carla…” - “I see you are still keeping grudges.” - “I…” - “Ah, I know something is fishy, what are you doing here Aria?” Grandma voice interrupted her but her fixated eyes said Carla everything she had to. - “Grandma, I am so glad to see you. Are you in good health? Did Malus take care of you as I asked her or is she giving you headache?” - “Don’t be like that. Malus raised you like a sister, remember?” - “Of course not.” - “So please show some respect to your baptized sister.” Aria grinned a little as she looked at her Grandma like the first time she met her. - “Oh, before we start, Uncle is outside the house, and he does not know if you let him in.” Grandma made her favorite face of doubt accompanied by a mean expression while Aria gave her the angel eyes. - “Well, he can come but I won’t tolerate any mistakes.” - “Thanks Grandma. So boys, you can come. I brought Kenley as well.” - “Who is this, Kenley?” - “My fiancee, Grandma.” - “It is a pleasure to meet you Madame.” Kenley introduced himself with a bright smile and a handshake. - “Well, I see you two finally want to give me some grandkids before I go.” Grandma smiled between her teeth. - “But of course Grandma, we want them to enjoy your company.” Aria pointed out with a big humour to relax everyone. Verse V As she came down the stairs, the lights bloomed the room, and we shouted Happy Birthday. Grandma put her hand over her heart and she pretended to have a heart attack. Everyone panicked and tried to do something to prevent Grandma from falling. - “Grandma, Are you ok? Misako, some water please.” Aria had already reached Grandma for worst case scenario and she had always been the more worried about Grandma than anyone else. - “Sikes, Gotcha.” We exploded laughing as Misako returned with a glass of water. “You should have seen your face, Aria. Priceless. And Misako, where are you going with this water?” She had started the party before we could and everyone was having a blast. The family and friends and fiancees united in the living room to celebrate Grandma birthday as planned days ago. Drinks, gifts, and other light dish were served to keep the party atmosphere going. Grandma was telling old stories of the family, of her past, or her former husband. The boys, uncle, Kenley, and Boris had met and was discussing the next championship of NFL teams. While Aria had decided to go for a stroll in the second floor of the house to experience the feeling she had years ago. As she took a look outside in the dark covered by the light of the house and the street leading to the house, she recalled how she broke with her first boyfriend and fell in love with this girl she knew too well. Plunged in her thoughts she did not see Misako coming with her drinks at hand. Misako approached close to Aria while her head was in the opposite direction. She tried reaching to her with her touch thinking about the best memories they made in this house. However she held herself when looking at how they got chopped away from each other. Misako resembled as a wife who had her heart broken with a hand over her heart she closed her eyes. - “So how is it going so far?” Misako woke her up in her dreams. - “Hein, oh, everything is fine. I wanted to live some stories again.” - “Which one?” She asked with a hopeful air that Aria replied her something she already has known. - “My life here. I miss it.” Aria did not turn her head to explain herself and she did not intend to as she continued to admire the beauty of the long alley of light in the street and houses. - “So We meet again after all these past few years.” - “Yeah, well…” - “What Am I to you? You did not call, you did not write and you expect me to just jump off where we left of.” - “I am sorry I did not know what to write.” - “At least a Goodbye would have been great.” The tension between them where intense and was getting higher as they discussed how they were separated and each other forgot even if they even knew each other. The little playmate became a real discussion for sure when the subject of divorce between Uncle and Carla entered in the conversation. They were going to explode at each other but Uncle intervened. - “We are going to great table now for dinner. Are you two coming?” - “Of course.” Aria answered while taking her glass and followed Uncle down the stairs leaving Misako with a headache of questions without any replies. - “What are you two discussing.” - “Nothing, Uncle. we better join the others at the table. Where is Malus? She is eating with us, right?”- “Of course, she is eating with us. We had already finished helping her with the table.” Uncle noted as they joined the others on the table with the bottle of wine.     Everyone joined the table as a family. Misako was the last to appear with her red eyes, hiding her feelings through a poker face with a terribly smile of hers everyone knew well. She sat at the table, said grace as Grandma request from her and started passing the best dish on the table. Well everything was perfect for a perfect evening in family with a celebrated mother, grandma, and sister. Verse VI “What, What do you mean?” “It can’t be. You are saying that…” Aria, Misako were standing at the table with their stunning face covered of an expression of unbelievably situation they had never taught about. “Can you please repeat for us what you just said.” Misako intently tried to understand the unexplainable reason why Uncle and Carla would do something like this. “You two are the reason why we divorced in the first place.” Carla repeated the sentence again with confidence that they might catch up a tiny of the intention or the possible reason that they had been left in the loop. - “You know the most amazing is that Between your Uncle and I still have love from our marriage and we keep on loving each other even a little.” - “Kenley, Boris, Please excuse us. This is a family business, we do not want to be rude. Can you…” Aria exposed the situation to the guys, which Kenley understood right away. - “Do not worry, we understand. Let’s go Boris. Misako froze for a moment thinking of how the conversation came to take this turn until Carla revealed this unbelievable truth.     Everyone sat at the table. Grandma in the principal chair at the head of the table; from right we had Boris, Misako, and Carla, from left Malus, Uncle, Kenley and Aria at the second head table. She said grace and gave the signal to start eating. Malus begun by serving Grandma and passing the plate around for everyone to take as much as they can. The ambiance at the table was either intense or calm and the words shortened the more and more. - “Well I gotta say this is the real first fun I have in ages with my mother and Abraham.” Carla stated with loud voice and a pride. - “Well I  am glad you feel that way since you had never made uncle happy. I can understand where our selfish feeling came from.” Aria pointed out to Carla with an irritated face. - “Carla is not responsible for our behavior or our gene. Uncle too has to blame in this.” Misako added after Aria confirmation. - “This time I had it with you. Who do you think you are to budge in the conversation between Carla and I? I was not pressing on the marriage matter. Carla knows well enough we do not see eye for eye. - “Aria, my dear please.” - “I am sorry to do this to you Grandma but this time I had it. What do you need to be the one star in everything?” - “I have to defend aunty from your claws about this divorce issue.” - “See you do not know anything. I have my own issue with Carla and I was not talking about the divorce they had.” Aria knocked the fork strong enough on the table to bend it. “Trust me this is the last time you did that, next you won't be so lucky.” - “That is enough,” Carla stood up around the table with some strong reprimandations. “I am telling them.” She said as she looked at Uncle who closed his eyes and up his shoulders for a heavy burden but he did not consider it to be heavy as the time passed. Nevertheless the burden was not the problem but the person for whom they were holding the burden.    - “Do you wanna know why Uncle and I got divorced?” Carla asked calmly with a face of serenity letting peace at last enter her soul with this burden. “Both of you are the cause Uncle and I divorced.” MIsako returned to the reality to see Grandma with her arms crossed over her chest, Uncle did not mention a word, and Carla continued to give a simple explanation for the girls. During the conversation, Aria left the table, took a glass of wine and went outside to have some air. She collapsed at the border of the second floor as she left her  on the floor letting her tears rolled down her face without a noise. - “I told she would not support this. You break her.” - “Enough Uncle, he was the time. I am sorry Mom but I had no choice.” - “Nice one my dear, you manage to crash my party and break my grandkids. Well I can’t complain you are my daughter after all.” Grandma stated in a disappointed tone. The rest that followed to the family brought them to their lowest point where even Uncle could not recover. Of course in the next birthday, the family united again for a new discover and a new road to happiness. Publication Date: September 5th 2014 https://www.bookrix.com/-geac36acf8c0835

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-ronnea-stiles-adopted-why-me/

Ronnea Stiles Adopted: Why me? Intro: Flashback: "What were you doing in Mr. Olsens office Rahnee!?" "Nothing he asked for me Mrs. Olsen I promise". Mrs.Olsen looked at me with her bold green eyes. Her long brown hair hung down her back and her bold red lipstick scared the hell out of me. She gripped the belt tighter to her hands as she grabbed my chin and forced me to look into her surreptitious eyes. "Tell me the truth Rahnee!" "I promise Mrs. Olsen!" Tears ran from my eyes as Mrs. Olsen looked at me close. "Pull down your pants". More tears fell hard like a waterfall as I pulled down my pants. My short black hair was now sweaty tangled strands. I bent over as a hard belt buckle hit my butt. "Ah!" I wailed in pain. She was so stupid. I loathed Mrs. Olsen, she always beat me but never did she listen to me of what I had to say. I can hear her words rang in my head. "You're a lousy bitch. I'm sending yo ass back tomorrow morning!"   Chapter One   "She's a lovely girl" Mrs. Wilkinson said. Bull crap I thought. She's just feeding them a whole pile of shit just so I can leave her alone, another soul she won't have to deal with. I sat back in the brown wooden chair listening to it screech with every movement I made. I huffed and puffed, I didn't want to leave Fort Wilkinsons, I loved this place, the only place where I belonged. I had finally made friends and even chilled for a bit. Another adopted family, no. I didn't want to get hurt anymore. This will be my seventh adopted family in my short few years. I wasn't surprised though, there's always some shit that happens like, they get me for awhile and I'm a total asshole so they send me back, or they just found out that they're pregnant or wait hold on this is the best one, they want a better family and not my obstinate ass. Aha! There it goes! I sat back in the chair as I saw three shadows walk there way towards me. ~~ I looked up at them. There stood a lady pale as ever with brown hair and lots of makeup, she looked like a damn buffoon. Then there was a tall man who had brown hair and green eyes and lastly Mrs. Wilkinson, with her thick body, short curly grey hair, and chubby pink cheeks. They all smiled at me. I just looked them up and down. "This here is Rahnee and Rahnee this is the Holland family they will be adopting you". Mrs. Wilkinson said happily. "No". My remark was. Mrs. Wilkinson gasped, the other two just looked at one another. Mrs. Wilkinson looked at the two figures and started to speak. "Excuse me Mr. and Mrs. Holland she's been through 6 adopted families she's had a hard life". She whispered like I couldn't hear her. I rolled my eyes. They then smiled at me. "I don't want to go". "Stop it Rahnee these are nice people". "You said they were all nice". The pale lady start to speak. "Rahnee I understand where you're coming from but we will help you". She smiled brightly at me showing her sparkly colgate smile. "Now get up Rahnee" Mrs. Wilkinson scowled. I got up with one suitcase. My long black and pink hair dangled at my shoulders. I moved my bangs out the way and started to walk out Fort Wilkinsons with the Hollands. Mrs. Wilkinson waved me off. "Shit", I thought, I knew then and there I was going to be back in no time. "I'm Marian and this is Gale Rahnee". I didn't say anything. Finally they stopped at a nice black BMW. Mr. Holland got in the front, I got in the back and Mrs. Holland got on the passenger side. "Buckle up". Mr. Holland said. I rolled my eyes and laid back in the seat. What do I look like buckling up? I didn't even want be here shit . . . life's hard. ~~ Mr. Holland start to drive. As he drove I looked out the window, we were driving away from the orphanage. I wanted to run back and hide. I never wanted to see another family. I placed my pale hand on the window. I studied my black fingernails. I was in love with black. Black was everything life could offer, it's plain, dark, scary, solid, and warm, all of the above. We passed side walks and trees. It was just the beginning of fall. Orange, green, and red leaves fell from the trees. The world seemed to stop and get colder. Mrs. Holland broke my thoughts. "How old are you Rahnee?" "Fifteen". "That's great we have two sons. One is sixteen and the other is seventeen. Don't worry you'll get along just fine". Sure I thought, one thing I knew about being adopted was that kids hate to share or be shared. I bet they're all stuck up. I mean these people dress lavish they look like their wealthy and they even talk rich. I didn't want to be bothered. "We're glad you're here Rahnee give us sometime and we'll prove to you that we can be a real family". Mr. Holland said. That's when they turned in a neighborhood full of huge houses. I looked out the translucent window now amazed when they pulled up to a huge brick house. Two boys sat on the porch. They stood up when we pulled in the driveway. Flowers surrounded the path of the walkway. The grass was greener thab kale and nicely cut. Their mailbox stood straight and fierce. "We're here". They both said. They got out, I waited awhile then got out too. The boys looked at me, I even heard one of them whisper "Is she gothic?" I looked back at my clothes. Blacks shorts, black hair, and a black shirt. I then looked at my shoes, black Chucks. I shrugged and got my suitcase when a tall tan boy with brown hair and eyes grabbed my suitcase. The other one stood at the steps, black hair bold blue eyes, burly and tough looking. He had a masculine face. "I got it". He spoke. We then all walked in the house. Marian start to speak. "Derek and Ron here will show you to your room while I get dinner ready". I looked around, this house was beautiful. A long crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling, a long nice staircase waited to be walked on, a nice luxurious living room, and out the corner of my eye I saw the kitchen. "Follow me" The tough looking one said. I followed them upstairs, we made a left and I saw an all white room. We walked into it, everything was white in here. The boys stood at the door while I looked around. I heard them say, "She's either emo or she's just scary looking". "We kept it white so you could decorate it however you want". The one that held my suitcase said. I placed my hands on the white cover, for some reason I felt back at the Hartons home. The smell of warm bread waiting for me downstairs, oh how I miss that, the only thing wrong was that the bread was getting me fat. I broke out of my daze when I noticed the boys looking at me. "I'm not gonna pretend like I like you". The tough looking one said. He looked at me with those harsh blue eyes. He then walked away. I was use to people not liking me, but this was just too soon. "Don't mind him he's always like that . . . that's Ron by the way". I nooded my head. "Yeah I'm use to it". "Just know I'm happy you're here". I gave Derek a fake smile, he smiled back then walked away. This was going to be a long night. ~~ "Dinner". Marian called from downstairs, I had just got done unpacking my stuff from the suitcase into the drawer. I put my hair into a dirty bun and kept my bangs out, I then walked downstairs slowly. As I hit the last step I heard laughing and smelled fresh pasta, and warm sizzling garlic bread. As I walked into the kitchen, Marian, Ron, Derek, and Gale were all sitting down. I stopped and looked around, the blue wall painting with family portraits covering it , all white chairs and counters, and a table with glass cups and plates,the window open, letting the coldest breeze in, then the Holland family. This was a family, if they were to take a picture now they would be the type of family you see on the commercials, loving one another, and laughing with each other. Now if I was to get into the picture I'll ruin everything like I always do. "What are you waiting for?" Marian asked. "Oh sorry". I took a seat next to Ron. (The only seat left). He kicked me from under the table, I really felt like grabbing this knife and stabbing him in the leg with it. One thing I learned at Fort Wilkinson and that was to stand up for myself. I decided to keep cool for now. "Let's eat". Derek spoke. "Bout time". Ron said. "Enough". Gale spit back. They then start to pass pasta and garlic bread back and forth. I dug into my pasta as Marian start to talk. "So we enrolled you in school you'll be going to Lakewood High with Ron". No I thought, not this bitch. "So does this mean I'm gonna have to give her rides?" "She's your sister Ron". He huffed and got up and stomped away. "Excuse him". Gale said while getting up and following him. I put my head down. "Rahnee tomorrow we'll go shopping so you can get stuff for your room". "Sure". Derek just stared at me. To be honest he was the only friendly face I'd seen in awhile. "We're really happy to have you". "Sure . . . I'm pretty tired I'm gonna call it the night". Marian shook her head at me as I got up. I then walked upstairs to my new room. Thankgod I have a bathroom in my room. I closed the door then locked it. I then took off my clothes and slipped on a T-shirt. I turned the lights off and opened the window. I always slept with the window open after I left the Delwood family. I then hopped in bed and slowly went to sleep.   Chapter Two   We had just come from getting stuff for my room. Marian tried to talk while we were out shopping, but she really was just talking to herself. I decided to only say little. Never get close to people because their the main people who will send you back in a heartbeat just like the Hallins. I had started to paint my room so then I could put the rest of my stuff in here after it dried. My room was painted black, of course. I sat in the middle of the floor, the floor was a hard reddish brown wood. My room looked so much smaller with nothing in it. My dirty black hands and my dirty black tee. I wiped my hands on my shirt and laid back on the floor. My back hurt but sometimes I like to feel the pain, especially when I'm in the mood. I looked at my ceiling, remembering the days with the Olsens, how they had a nice pink room painted for me. How I hate it deep down inside, but that was my first adopted family. I thought I was going to be with them forever, I thought they loved me, but I was wrong, I was out of there two weeks from when they got me. I was only 7, back to the orphanage. Young Mrs. Wilkinson asked them what I had done. Mrs. Olsens remark was that I was a lousy and ungrateful little girl and needed to be trained not to flirt with older men, but she didn't know what really happened or how devastated I was. I never wanted to hurt her or be ungrateful, it's just when you grow up too fast things happen, that little girl that was left is now a rotten tomato. I started to weep as Mrs. Olsens hard hands hit my face back and forth, hit after hit, I started to squirm as a flashback came. Flashback: "What were you doing in Mr. Olsens office Rahnee!?" "Nothing he asked for me Mrs. Olsen I promise". Mrs.Olsen looked at me with her bold green eyes. Her long brown hair hung down her back and her bold red lipstick scared the hell out of me. She gripped the belt tighter to her hands as she grabbed my chin and forced me to look into her surreptitious eyes. "Tell me the truth Rahnee!" "I promise Mrs. Olsen!" Tears ran from my eyes as Mrs. Olsen looked at me close. "Pull down your pants". More tears fell hard like a waterfall as I pulled down my pants. My short black hair was now sweaty tangled strands. I bent over as a hard belt buckle hit my butt. "Ah!" I wailed in pain. She was so stupid. I loathed Mrs. Olsen, she always beat me but never did she listen to me of what I had to say. I can hear her words rang in my head. "You're a lousy bitch. I'm sending yo ass back tomorrow morning!" ~~ "Rahnee open the door!" I woke up, sweat covered my whole body, I got up and wiped my face. My heart beated fast. "Rahnee are you OK!?" I walked to the door and opened it, there stood Gale. Worry was written all over his face. He looked at me with concern. My heart start to slow down when I noticed I wasn't back at the Olsens household. "Sorry I was acting a part". Relief formed on his face. "I thought something happened". "No sorry". "Marian and the boys went to get pizza they'll be back. In the meantime wipe all that paint off your face". He chuckled then walked away. I closed the door and walked into the bathroom, I looked in the mirror, black paint was all on my cheeks and eyes, must had smeared when I wiped my watery eyes. I washed my face and hands getting fifty percent of the paint off, I then start to decorate. ~~ I looked around my room, my my my it was beautiful. I had three pink drawers, a black bed spread, black laundry basket, black curtains, and a black desk with a pink chair. On my walls were posters of all sorts of bands, quotes, and famous people. This was finally my room. Lastly I had a black carpet on the floor. I laid on my bed when I heard Marian call me. I got up and headed to the kitchen. I sat down, everyone decided to already eat, I grabbed four slices and start to gobble them down. "Slow down. The food is still here". Ron said. I rolled my eyes, he did the same. "Hey Rahnee?" "Yes Marian?" "School starts in two days for you so we can get you some supplies and new clothes tomorrow". "What's wrong with my clothes?" Everyone looked at me. "Hunny have you heard black is not in style this season". I stopped eating my pizza and glared at her. Anger filled my insides. "I like my clothes". "Yea but you need new ones and more colors than just black". I got up and threw my pizza across the table, everyone jumped. "Go ahead. Send me back. I like my clothes. I don't need new clothes. Just send me back already!" I ran all the way upstairs to my room, I slammed the door and buried myself in my pillows. It's only been two days and already they're trying to change me. God I hate life. I hate me.   Chapter T   "Rahnee". Someone called while walking into my room. I sat up in my bed to face Derek. His brown hair was nicely combed and his eyes showed concern. "What?" "You ok?" "I know I'm crazy ok . . . should I get packing?" Derek sat in the chair. "Marian was just teasing. She didn't know you were gonna get mad like that . . . she felt so bad. She just thought you'd want some new clothes". "Sorry I overreacted I guess I took it the wrong way . . . if it really means the world to her I'll get some new clothes". Derek smiled, I gave him a fake smile back. "Great I'll tell her and look, we're really glad you're here". I shook my head as Derek got up and walked out. I felt relieved, for once somebody understood me. ~~ We drove silently, until Marian turned the radio on. It was just her and I heading to the mall to get my school stuff. We had already gotten supplies. Today was the coldest day I'd had in a long time. Fog crept on the window, you could hear the wind whooshing back and forth outside. Thankgod the heat was on. I could see the trees leaves falling then moving from the wind. I spelled my name on the window. "I use to do that when I was little". Marian said. I tugged on my black sweatshirt, my hair was down and my bangs were getting longer. I re-painted my nails all black. "Marian I want to say sorry for yesterday. I didn't . . . " Marian cut me off. "It's ok things happen. I shouldn't have stepped out of line like that. You're fifteen, you have the right to wear whatever". "You didn't send me back. Why?" "Please for that, Rahnee you're a teenage girl that's what you guys do". We both chuckled. "Yea I guess". "Look don't worry I'll let you pick out anything you want ok?" I smiled. "Yea ok". "Alright". We both giggled. I needed to stop, never get too close. ~~ Marian had picked a thousand different shirts in all different colors. I picked black pants, boots, shirts, and more black nail polish. Marian held up a pink hoodie. I nooded my head as she placed it in the shopping bag. I was only saying yes but I really wasn't going to wear this unless she asked about it. I found a grey shirt, I placed that in the bag. Marian had bought me five pair of adidas so I wouldn't be shoeless. I found some more black and blue pants so I put those in the bag. "I think we're finished". "Yea". I agreed. "OK let's go to checkout". "Alright". Finally I thought. ~~ We walked out the mall with bags loads of stuff. The wind swept hard on my pale face making it turn all red. We got in the black BMW and headed home. To the place I stay. ~~ Derek helped me take the bags upstairs to my room while Marian got dinner ready. She wanted to celebrate my first day of school, which is tomorrow. I thought it was a bit much but she didn't. We put my last bag on the bed. "Marian went all the way out for you". "Yea I guess". Derek looked at me close, when Ron walked into my room. He rolled his eyes at me, I rolled mine back. Ron then walked up to Derek and whispered something in his ear. "No" I heard Derek say. "You want to hang with the emo!" Ron yelled. I gasped, they both looked at me. "I am not emo!" "You know what, I wish your crazy ass wasn't here!" Ron got in my face, his tenacious blue eyes stared me right in mine. "Fuck yourself!" I hollered loud. "You're fucking crazy". Ron said while backing away. He turned to face Derek he pushed him a little then walked out. I sighed and sat on my bed. I needed to be alone, I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy, I blocked out and my mind zipped to the Callwells household. Flashback: "She's crazy mom, send her back!" Mario yelled. He was sixteen I was thirteen at the time and we weren't getting along for shit. He thought he was better than me, he hurt me, and here Mrs. Callwell is feeding right into his shit. I can hear Mr. Callwell calling the orphanage. I sat in the bathroom rocking in the dark while dried tears covered my face. I'm shaking, scared of what will happen to me. All I hear back and forth is, "She's crazy", "She's crazy". My mind can't take it. I shake and shake trembling to move. "She's crazy". I hear again. I start to beat my head to get that word out. I can't though. I was ready to leave. At the time my hair was long and I had an eyebrow and belly piercing. Boys at school would call me a freak and bother me. I'm so fucked up I thought. I was use to being hurt so I wasn't surprised when Mario and his friends came into . . . ~~ I woke up to someone yanking me, it was Derek. He looked so adorable right now. His brown hair fell in a million complicated curls which I wanted to run my hands through. "You OK?" "Yea sorry I just blocked out". "Do you do that often?" "Yes a lot". Derek giggled and helped me up. I did the same. "Yea im actually glad you're here". I grinned, Derek grinned back. "Well look I gotta get some stuff ready for school". "OK see you at dinner". "Yeah". Derek walked out. I then started to put my clothes in the closet.   Text: Ronnea Stiles Editing: Ronnea Stiles All rights reserved. Publication Date: August 22nd 2017 https://www.bookrix.com/-ple6aeb000a8945

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-bravestar-of-leafclan-spottedpaw-039-s-death/

Bravestar of LeafClan Spottedpaw's Death Bravestar's dream of how her daughter was murdered... "Mama!" A distressed young orange-and-white she-cat wailed forlornly from the banks of an overflowing, violently rushing river. She was looking straight at Bravestar, her brilliant, sky-blue eyes pleading for mercy. That azure gaze pierced Bravestar’s heart with anguish and regret like a million tiny shards of ice. "Hold on, Spottedpaw, I’m coming!" The petrified ginger leader picked her way down a tall mound of rocks carefully. I’m not going to make it in time, thought Bravestar frantically. Spottedpaw twisted her head around and gasped. Another, more muscular orange-and-white cat, a tom, was stalking towards her, the glow of murder glinting in his green-and-amber eyes. She looked back to the river, then to the powerful tom, then back to Bravestar. Spottedpaw bunched her muscles to jump into the swollen river and swim for her life, but the tom was faster. As she bounded into the water, he unsheathed his lethal claws and sliced her belly. Spottedpaw yelped like a hundred frightened birds, then splashed into the water. "Adderstar!" Bravestar shrieked. "You foxhearted murderer!" She leapt off the rocks and landed with a hard thud. Her legs felt numb from the fall, but she didn’t care. Out of the corner of her eye, Bravestar could see a sinister gray tabby she-cat watching from the shadows of the trees, her olive-green eyes shimmering with pride for her new mate. Snakeheart. That mousebrained fool. Bravestar shook her head. There were more urgent matters at paw! She crept towards Adderstar and sprang on his back. He tried to shake her off, but she held on firmly. She lowered her muzzle to the back of his neck, teeth bared, ready to deliver the fatal bite. But before she could, another squeal came from her wounded daughter. She looked back and saw that the petite apprentice had washed up on the shore many foxlengths downstream, lying in a pool of cerise-tinged water. Bravestar jumped off of Adderstar and rushed to her daughter. By the time she arrived, the little she-cat was already cold and lifeless, and all of her blood had washed away. Just how I found her, reflected Bravestar sadly. A familiar scent engulfed her, and she turned to see a starry she-cat. "Spottedpaw!" she cried, overjoyed to see her daughter again. The dazzling spirit laid her tail across her mother’s muzzle to quiet the mourning she-cat. "Shhh, it’s okay. I’m content in StarClan, although I miss all of you at home in LeafClan." Her voice started to crack with sadness. "Send my love to Creektail and Papa. Tell them both that I love them and miss them very much. And please tell Leaf-fire that it wasn‘t his fault I died." Spottedpaw faded until she was barely visible against the clear, blue sky. Bravestar wept. “No, don’t leave me again!” "I won’t, Mama. I promise . I’ll always be in your heart, as long as you remember me." Publication Date: March 17th 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-bravefire43

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-jasmine-chang-reckless/

Jasmine Chang Reckless To my lovely fans! Stay strong lovelys! Chapter one Seeing the world as my own I put the joint in my mouth and blew in the nasted stuff then blew out a cloud of smoke.I cough and smile and laugh as I saw the world much clearer and my problems fading away.I shut of the joint and got up from the floor in my bathroom.I trip ou tof the bathroom and fell on my bed as I saw the world as my own.Bright coulors and happiness blown everywhere.I sat up in my bed and giggle then got up and grab a couple of hundred doller bills.I went out of the little cramp aparment as I call home.I walk out and saw the busey cars zooming by and everything seem fuzzy now.Confuse,I walk down the side walk and laugh at a couple that were holding hands and spoke "h-ello" I  yelled my words at them.the man whisper in the girl ear.   Then star at mine eyes."Are you ok miss?" "Am I ok?" The question fumble with my brain Am I really? No."Yes!" I answer to him with a goofey grin."Bye!!" I said then left.I turn right into a ally.With the one blinking street light.I smile as I saw who was walking up to me."You got the cash?"  said the voice hidden in the shawdows "fuck yea I do" I threw him the money."Now wheres my stuff" The guy sigh and a bag was pass across the floor by my foot.I pick up the clear bag and saw all the white powder.   "You know you really don't have to do drugs.." I frown "And you know you dont have to sell them" "Whatever go break your body i try to help you every time but no you don't want my fucking help i'm done." he said and with that I heard the trail of footsteps fading away.I scroff "Whatever" I put the bag in my bra and then walk out of the ally to a club.I smirk and headed in loud music blar across the room making my heart beat faster.   I saw an empty bar table and sat down.The waitress came it was a girl."Hi how may i-  "Just give me whatever that is your strongest" I cut her off She nod and left.She came back with a shot glass and left.I grab the shout glass with my hand and put it up to my lips i drank it the burning in my throat was terrible but it felt so good.I hadd three more shots on my table.I drank them all.My head was all fuzzy like my vison.And thats the last thing I rember. chapter two sober and wasted I  tumble out of the bar at three in the morning,Totally sober and wasted.I chug the rest of the beer and threw it at the wall.I walk some more tripling over my own feet.Then I fell on the floor.I try to get back up but I didn't want to.I laid still my chest rising up and down as my heart beat with life.I turn my head and saw bright lights and a car honking and that was when I saw a bus hault to a stop.I was under it not careing if I did got run over or not.I heard some yelling as the bus door open "I  think we hit  a deer harry relax." "No Liam It was a girl!" "Lads,If we hit something or someone I thing there would be blood on the bus it was all in your mind Harry." "But I swear" "Harry we had a long day at the concert you need rest" "No Zayn.Im right and your all wrong i swear" His voice crack.I look over and saw the guys shoes from under the bus."Harry" the guy name Zayn sighed "think what louis said we did have a stressful day so its in your mind relax" I guess harry sighed then I had to open my sober mouth.   "The guy is-s right-t you know-w" I slur out.I heard the breath get caught in there mouth as they all kneel down and saw me under there bus."O my dear! Are you alright." "well a bus is on top of me so...yes just peachy" I mutter "Here were going to pull you out ok?" "I dont five a flying fuck" "so is that an ok?" "yea whatever" I rolled my eyes.I felt a pair of hands grab my sholders and pull me out from under the bus."Can you move?Is anything broken?" Said the buzz hair cut dude."No." but my heart and myself..my brain said."Here lets help you up" Whatever" I said as the help me up.Confusion wash all over the guy face who help me up."What?" "its nothing but.." he trail off "but what?" "but your really light" "uh yea ok.." I said very akwardly.   "Your arm" the guy mutter "huh?" I look down and saw a big gash with blood flowing down from it."its just a little cut" I shrug but not taking my eyes off from it."Little? No no no Big come on were going to help you." The guy said and took my other ok hand and took me on the bus.With the other guys behind."What's your name?" "Scarlet or scar for short" I said then open my moutrh again "How about you guys?" They laugh but so my confuse face then stop."You really don't know?" "Uh no why would I be asking you then hmmm?" "Well im harry thats zayn thats Niall thats louis and thats Liam." "O ok." I yawn "tire?" "yes so i should be leaving." "No stay you can sleep over" ""pointed to a couch" "O lovely" I said then walk over to it and crash on it."Goodnight scar" They all said "Night" I said back and shut my eyes and fell into an dreamless sleep.     Chapter three the truth of me I woke up and saw the boys above me with glars on there faces."What?" "What? What!" Harry said to me and cross his arms "Yea what?" "This" Harry pulled out the the plastic bag of the white powder my eyes fell on it and stood there."calm down harry" He sighed "You do drugs?" Liam said more calmer "Yea so?" "So?" Liam raise and eye brow "so its bad for you.you need help" Zayn siad While I just laugh "Help?" I keep laughing "I don't need anybodys bloody help" I said coldy at all of them.I got up "Now good day." "No your staying." "No i'm not." Louis took a step forward "You are." "No now bye" I barley touch the door knob but louis pulled me butI kick and scream "Let go off me you fucking babribe ken doll." He rolled his eyes and put me on the couchThis is kidnaping you know?" "No It louisnapping" He grin I mentally face palm myself "Now lets speak" "we been speaking" I sighed and put my feet up on the table."So let's start from the beginning Scar" "No Lets start never" "please just let us help" "Go die" "please scar" "jump off an cliff its fun go now" "Scar" Liam said and sat down next to me."thats my name!" I smile and frown as I saw him looking serious "your all boring now." Louis fake gasp "boring?" "Yes" "well then"   Zayn hit louis head "shut it" He mutter to louis I sighed and sat up "Want to know the truth? want to see the real me?" "Yes" Harry answer I got up "It started when I was sixteen My father work in a gang and I join they selled drugs and killed people and I help...With the drugs of course" "You poor thing!" Liam said i rolled my eyes and scroff "No dont give me asny of that nice shit" I stood up."Now I must go you fags" They all look hurt but i had to or they wont let me go.I push Niall out of my way but saw the bus moiving I sighed. "Can we stop?" "no your staying" Niall said "Where are we anyways?"  The boys look at one another them back to me."You know what dont tell me i dont give a damn" I said and then spoke up again "Stop the bus!" I yelled the bus stop as the breaks squeak the boys tumble over each other while I stay in my  place. "Good bye" I said and walk to the door I open it and jump out and started walking thee other direction. Publication Date: April 14th 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-minght.girl.fangs

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-adriana-vass-sad/

Adriana Vass Sad .                     Publication Date: October 18th 2015 https://www.bookrix.com/-tje8e1a48c23065

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-roxycupcakes327-taking-five/

RoxyCupcakes327 Taking Five The Beginning "Wheeeeewww They are amazing. So how did you say that you met them," That bitch, Mari asked me as One Direction was singing at our school. Our reaction was... I think that I should start from the beginning. I'm Kydrianna and my friends, Jessie, Catherine, Abigail, and Caroline were helping me with my school president campain. Basically I was running against the second riches(i am richer then her) and most popular girl in the school at the time. We've been at war ever since the second grade when we both had our birthday parties on the same day. She was soo jealous of me because I has a Princess brithday partie and more people came to my partie instead of gonig to hers. Thats when it all started such an young age and its been that way ever since. So now we're in high school it's junior year and Im running for school president. It was the day we did our first speech, all about first impression she told me right before she started her speech as she gave me the you bitch look. She started the speech and was almost done so I was getting ready to go because it was next. I sat my science project down right next so her big suprise, fireworks, (and since we were outside it was ok that what the principle told me) there she goes trying to show me up again. I wish she would just give it up, I mean I'm already a nobody at school except to my friends. Anyway when i sat down my project it had gotten really hot and that rubbed against the fireworks and went everywhere but up since the top of the stage was closed. She turned to me and said, "You bitch. What the f did you do that for? If you think your high school life is bad now think again its going to be horrible when I'm done making a living hell for you." I tried to tell her i was sorry but she didn't listen so then I said something that I thought that at the time was so very stupid. "I'll get One Direction to sing here before and after they tell us who gets elected." Everyone heard me! Oh nooo The Pre-Plan I don't know why i said it but i did. I mean i dont even like them. Now i have to figure out how im gonna get them to play at my school. "Out of all the schools in the world why would they come here?" Asked Caroline. "I dont know. But you guys have to help me out of this," I say and we sat there in the beach house doing our homework. "Oh No I'm not helping you figure your way out of another one of your problems," They all yell at me at the same time. "I'll give you a thousand each?!!" I say trying to covince them. "Fine but if we end up in jail you are sooooo paying for that too," Catherine said. "Well when you put it like that I start to feel bad. I don't know what we should do. I mean we can do one of those fan vids and send it to them," I suggest. "It's not like they are gonna watch it," said Lilly, my little freshman sister said as she finally walked in (she rides the bus i drive her but i'd rather drive my bffae's),"You made a complete fool of yourself, i was so imbarrised to even call you my sister." Totally ignoring what she just said i say," Hey you like One Direction if i buy some tickets will you forgive me?" In suspicion she asked why. Ignorin gher agian i tell her ill get her a back stage pass. She quickly excepts. "Ok bye mini Mari we have a plan to make up on how to steal 1D," I finally say. So here are our suggestions: Abigail - Sneek into there house and beg them 'til they say yes(I think it so lame) Cat - Kidnap them(We've kind of established that Cat get on board, sometime i think she really acts like Cat form that show Victorious) Caroline - I got nothin'(that's her way of saying i just wanted you money and i'll you do the act but not plan it) Jessie - Just kidnap them(Here we go agian here and cat smh) Me - Go to A concert and "talk" to them (if you know what i mean JK all the way). Then I'll pay them as much as they want (that way no one goes to jail for kidnapping.) So After that we took a vote. Guess who won... Me!!! I comes with being kinda spoiled rotten. Wow I'm already starting ot sound like my now title... Popular! (and a bitch perfect combo, i hope this new change won't change my friends and my aditude,b/c we must remember that we made our way up here) The Round Up Well I wasn't all that ready to start making the plan until this happened. Uggh my stupid (ex)boyfriend. So i went over to his house for a date saturday night. Ryan, he's... really hott, I mean football player hott( BTW he is a football player). He has rock hard sexy abs, brown hair, brown eyes, oh and hes 5'8", So adorbs. He has a two story house compared to my three story. And his parents are always on business trips. So he always tries to get me to do not so nice things (if you know what i mean). "Hey wanna do somethin fun?" he asked me. "It depends on what you wanna do" I answered. "Well we can always go up to me room and..." before he finished that sentence i walked out of the room and went to the front door and from there i yelled at him and sayed no that he knew what the deal was. He totally disrespected my wishes. Naah j.k. bet before he could finish his sentence I sat onhis lap straddling him, I decided to mess with him so I start to kiss him, it was passionate kindof. Then I took his shirt off and touched his abs, and whispered in his ear "No I don't want to go stairs with you, but you can help me with something." Then I got off of him and told him what I needed him for. He totally agreed to it. Seduction always works. So now I have part of my army; the girls and Ryan now all i need is for the nerds to help, jk I just love to call them the nerds but thats just Carson and Brad. They are my cousins who happen to go to the same school as me. Their parents aren't as rich as mine in fact they aren't even rich. So I decided to bribe them. I got Carosn a... I don't even know what its called and Brad and new iPhone 5. It wasn't long before they came to me to help me with what i needed. Oh and I almost forgot the girls all helped by getting their boyfriends or best friend which was the case for most of them... scratch that all of them. I was the only one with a boyfriend (but that will soon end)(oops you guys wern't supposed to know that yet) So now I have; Lilly, Me, Cat, Carson, Brad, Ryan, Abigail, Caroline, Jessie, Ricky , Sam, Derek (my ex btw), and Anthony. Step One Soo after the round up is well step one. So I tell everyone their task starting with Ryan, "Ryan you will be the one to tie them up when they get into the limo. Your helpers will be Anthony, Ricky, Sam, and Derek since you are all very strong and play football. So you guy will have to buy the materials." as I'm walking around the front of one of the three guest rooms (five if you count my brother's since he's moved out and if Lilly shares a room with me) pionting at the small white board i hung up. "Carson, my genius cousin." "You can stop with the whold being nice to me thing, I said I would help you so stop torchering me" "Well anyway as I was saying before I was rudely interuped, Carson you and Brad will go get the Limo and get some sexy outfits for me and the girls. Ha jk about the outfits but really go get the limo. Oh and before I forget call our parents and see how long they will be gone for, and do whatever nerdy thing you think will help us succeed in making this work just discuse it with me first." "Girls lets go shopping!!!! and after that we can hit the pool." "WHAT HOW COME YALL GET TO DO NOTHING", said all the boys. "Well because while we do what we do, we will be be planning how to get them in the limo and how to make them play at our school duuuhhhh. So let's go girls." I say as I put my sunglasses on and walk out guest room door. Ryan ran up behind me and grabbed my sholder and he pulled me to my room closing the door. "Ryan stop you have a job to do and I'm not playing right now." "Well for someone that doesn't like 1D you surely don't act like it." "Well... umm... I don't" "Then why did you st." I stop him from finishing the sentence by kissing him. He put his around my hips and pulled me closer to him, as I snaked my arms around his neck. Then he picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist without once ever breaking the kiss. "Kydriana are you ready to...ummm... I really sorry I didn't mean to." said Cat "Yeah I'm ready Ryan and I needed to umm settle a few realationship problems. Let's go." As I walk out I can feel Ryans eyes on my ass and he said,"Promise me you won't fall for those one direction gay pricks." "Please I would dare fall for one." I hoped he haden't noticed that I didn't answer his question. Shopping, "Swimming", and Sex? If you haden't noticed I didn't answer Ryan's question. I don't think that I can make that promise, I mean Zayn Malik is pretty sexy so if I end up falling for him I wouldn't be able to help it. I mean think about it he's dreamy and I love him british accent... wait what am I saying I love Ryan I think That's what I'm thinking as I'm driving my friends to the mall in my new GT Mustang. "Hey Keke what were you and Ryan "discussing" when I walked in." Cat asked me. "Ummm well he asked my to promise him that I wouldn't fall for any of the one direction dudes" "Well what did you say." They asked. "I told him that I love him." "You didn't answer his question!" "Yeah I know but I don't think that he noticed." I say as i get into the closest parking space at the mall. So we got out and I grabbed $4,000,000 dollars from my purse and gave them each $1,000,000. I told them to go a pick out the cutest out fit they can. I didn't give Lilly any money because of course she has money, shes my sister remember. So we grouped upit was me & Cat, Lilly & Abigail, and lastly Caroline & Jessie. Cat and I went to forever 21, and that is when I saw it. It was the prettiest dress I've ever seen. I was all yellow that came about mid-thigh with a thick black and white zebra print belt. It only cost $150. Now all I needed was a pair of 5" heels and a new Louis Vuitton. So I went to this really nice shoe place and got some black and white zebra print heels the accual heel part was yellow and so were the insides.That cost $327. And my Louis Vuitton well that was costum made it was all black with a yellow flower on the outside and on the inside all yellow with a black wallet. That cost $683. Now for excessories I bought $20 earings that were black, and the necklace was $30 that you baught to go with it. Now all I need is to go to Bath and Body Works (Yes I'm rich and still love B&BW). From there I get secret wonderland. Now that I'm all done we are all ready to go since the girls were all waiting on me. Cat got a zebra print blue and black dress with black stelettos. Well they all bought black stelettos, the only difference was the dress. Abigail got a red dress. Jessie got a purple dress with black polka-dots. Lilly bought a Lime green dress that had a tiny yellow belt. and Caroline got a blue dress with a really cute unexplainable pattern but it was cute. They all bought L.V. and big earrings. On the way home I stop at red bowl for the girls and Kabuto's for myself, and McDonalds for Cat (soo difficult that Cat) well I did eat her fries for making me stop there I mean it's not like she care she never eats them. So when we get to my house we change into our bikinis and we jump into the pool. I had brought drinks out from the kitchen you know just in case one of the girls didn't want to swim but wanted a drink. Then Ryan walked out where we were. He was in his trunks and he came over by where I was, and of course he came the girls left. Like completely left me and went home, and the boys were gone the whole day, and Lilly went to a friends house for a sleepover so it was just me and Ryan. I thought that he wanted to talk... I GUESS I WAS WRONG. He swam to me, took my hand and sat down on one of the pool chairs pulling me onto his lap. He look at me with lots of lust. He whispered in my earseductively,"So where were?" and once again I straddled him and we started to kiss. I licked his bottom lip to ask for entry and he gave it to me. Our tongues danced around in each others mouths for a while and then I broke the kiss, grabbed his hand and jumped into the water. We swam for like five minutes, but Ryan just could't keep his hands off me. He picked my up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He carried me all the way up the stairs to my room. We continued to make out and then he leaned me back onto my bed. (I remember thinking damn it my bed is all wet... it's gonna get that way anyway)He untied my bikini and well...(the do not disturb sign was put up) you can figure out what what happens next. (Oh and if you didn't catch it I didn't want this I didn't want sex. I was also drinking at the pool and was drunk when this happened that's kind of what happens when your a senior sometime and you drink and swim. oh and don't try it at home it's very dangerous and could end up killing you. Stay tuned tomarrow to see what happens to Ryan and Kydriana's relationship.) It's OVER with Ryan, but what about the plan?? I woke up to "Rock Me" by One Direction (Lilly made that her ringtone... uhhg) anyway when I reached and got my phone and said hello to her that's when I had noticed I had nothing on my body but the covers and to my right was Ryan. I could tell he had no shirt on and possibly no clothes on either, I peeked under the covers to find him naked too I quickly drop the covers and put on a shirt and some sweatpants. Oh shit I know we didn't do that, did we? "Kydrianna are you there?" she questioned Trying to shake the thought away, "Yeah I... um..." "Did you and Ryan have sex by "accident?" she asked. I could tell she put quotations around the word accident as soon as she asked. "I... um... I think so." "How can you think so, I mean did you wake up and notice that you both were naked?" How did she know. "How did you know?" "Um let's see. Oh yeah I'm 14 and lost virginity before you, that's how I woke up." "Wait, when did this happen. Mom is gonna kill you-" "I don't think I'll be the only dead meat around seeing as you had sex-" "OK I get it." Ryan's P.O.V When I woke up I noticed that I was all alone in Kydriana's bed,she must have gotten out to go to the bathroom or something. Then I heard her talking on the phone, no scratch that yelling on the phone, "OK I get it, What should I do, I mean I can't break up with him. No make that I don't want to break up with him." What was she talking about... oh now I remember we had sex, it was more like I had sex with her because she was drunk so did't really realize what we were doing. Damn it... I should've stopped this from happening. (FLASHBACK) "Can I kiss you?" I asked her as we sat in my Bugatti. "Why would ever need to ask me? Of course you can kiss me..." she replied as she gazed into my eyes getting lost. I cupped her face in my hands and leaned in to kiss when she stopped me and finished the rest of her sentence with this, "but if you ever try to have sex with me I will break up with you the second I that I realize it." and with that she leaned the rest of the way and kissed me. (PRESENT) I really fucked this one up this time. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me I can't just loose her. I put my clothes on and I walked out the door and went down stairs only to Kydriana's P.O.V I heard the door to my room open and close my bedroom. I knew Ryan was up so I waited next to the steps and when he came down stairs and as soon as he did I slapped him so hard and yell with tears i my eyes,"Why did you do this to me? You knew damn good that I was drunk and you took advantage of me and probably fucked me all night long." Looking a little stunned and pissed he said,"Well you didn't seem to have problem with my dick last night. All I could hear was you moaning, calling my name, telling me to fuck you harder, how good it felt, and how you liked the fact that the only thing on was the radio." I started to slap him again he did the unexpected. He caught my hands and held them above my head and kissed me,he licked my lip asking for entrance. No way in hell was I gonna give it to him, not after that little stunt he pulled last night. Then he let go of one had for a second only to grab it with other hand. Now ha was holding both my hands with one. In that moment I noticed that the hand not holding anything was traveling down my back until it reached my but which he gave a squeeze making my gasp which one again he took advantage of me by french kissing without my gaining access. After he finished kissing me he whispered into my ear,"That was for the long road ahead because I know you will break up with me." You know until he said that I totally forgot about that day. "Well actually I wasn't going to but after both those stunt, yeah I am breaking up with you. So go get all your stuff and get the fuck out of my house now! Maybe when get some since you can come back." "If that's how you feel than I'm not helping you kidnap One Direction, instead I'll just tell everyone the truth, that you couldn't get one direction even if you tried." "I don't need you" As he reached his car he said,"You need me more than you know. Bye thanks for finding the best way to make a guy feel bad for making a mistake bitch." Oh hell no, this motherfucker didn't just call my a bitch is all I thought as I balled my hand up into a fist. He's right, he knows I know he's right this is over. Since it's a Monday morning I had to get ready for school. Yeah:(. When I got to school that's when I see him, he's perfect, Brandon. Now let's see if I can do a little magic. I went to the restroom to freshen up my makeup and well "fix" my already tight skirt and shirt (I pulled up my mini skirt and tied my button up shirt so that it outlined my boobs perfectly. I had a tank-top on up under it so I was OK) After coming from the restroom I walk over to Brandon (in the corner of my eyes I can see every guy looking at me) who was checking me out. He ask me,"What can I for you little miss shawty?" "Glad you asked. I'll need to talk to you in privet." With that I grab his had lead him to empty class, I close and lock the door. I tell him everything and I mean everything. "So can you help me," I asked as I lifted my leg to put it on the desk showing even more skin. Without look away from he said," Um... I... yeah what ever tickles your peach, I mean whatever tickles you pink. (SCORE once again I'm on top of my game.) One Way or Another... Well getting Brandon to help me wasn't that hard, if fact that was quite easy. As I walked out of the classroom with him trailing right behind me I started to hear whispers; WTF are they a thing now, what do you think they did, I've never seen a nerd look so sexy, she is so out of his league what are they doing together. Then I saw Ryan across the hall his friend had just told him to look my way, but before he turned in my direction I turned to Brandon and quickly told him to play along as I started to make out with him in the hall in front of the "whole" school. I could tell that Ryan was mad because I could hear the commotion of his "Home Boys" holding him back. At that moment I laughed to myself thinking Ryan was such an asshole, I mean for real. So after school today I drove Brandon, and as I was driving he asked me why I kissed him along with why I asked him to help me to kidnap 1D, When we got to my house I finally answered him. "Um... well... a... I guess I've always liked you ever since 7th grade when we kissed at your birthday party when we were left in the closet for 7 minutes in heaven and I didn't think you liked me because after that you didn't talk to me." (this was so awkward) "Oh, well I did like you I mean I do like you. You just ran out of there so quickly and then I saw you with Ryan when school started so I didn't really say anything about it." "And that was just part of the reason the other parts was because I really wanted to kiss you and because I wanted to make Ryan mad which by the way it did work so thanks." "Oh... um... your welcome... um... I guess." Was all he said I could tell that he felt used and that he was hurt so I kissed him again. This time I was more passionate kiss, passionate that somehow I ended up in the passenger seat on top of him, accutally straddling him with my hands lock around his neck. Now I really felt like a whore. Well anyway getting back to the story, when Brandon and I walked in we sat down and the girls and I told him how things were going down when all of a sudden my sister came in with her iPhone in her new small portable speaker. That's when I think I fell in love with them, I could tell it was one direction but they were singing the best cover of One Way or Another. It was amazing. That is what made me determined to carry out this plan good thing they were getting to here (California) tonight!!! Meaning that the first concert of the 5 was tomorrow good thing I'm going to all of them so that I will make this steal perfect. That night I told the girls "I will get me some Zayn Malik One Way Or Another." (You see what I did there). Game Day S o yeah I know what you're thinking, Your a whore, well thanks telling me that, I mean what do you want me to do sew on a red A on all my shirts. Anyway that's how I felt when I read the txt that I got from Ryan. It said: You are such a whore. You get mad at me for having sex with you when you didn't say stop or anything and now you are making out with some dude to get back at me. Well damn I said I was sorry if that's not good enough then oh fucking well. I didn't reply to him. I mean the only reason I was drunk was because I was happy that our plan was going great other than that I would not have been drinking, and I really don't even like him. My mom is coming home today, but only because she needs to pick something up then she's going on another business trip (that's how my parents are. All they do is go on business trips they're never home.) Before my mother gets home I asked the maids to help me clean. Then I went to change my clothes... I'm feeling a change coming (mostly because I feel like a whore), so I decide to put on a neon yellow lace shirt over a black spaghetti strap shirt, I had some black skinny jeans on with a neon belt, and to top it off I had on 4 inch black heels. When mom walked in she did a double take when she looked at me. I had a feeling that she knew what had happened to me considering the small smile on her face and the fact that she came in my room to talk to me about how I felt. I asked her how she knew, and she told me that she felt the same way after her first time. She stayed for 30 minutes then left. Which was just in time because my friends got to my house in a black limo like 30 seconds after she left. We went over the plan for the last time and I handed them their passes and we got into the limo. The ride wasn't that long considering that we live 30 minutes from where the concert was being held (this was the day). Since we have gone to all of the 1D concerts the boys (from 1D) have started getting used to us they said that they wanted to go out somewhere with us after the concert. I plan on taking the safe approach by asking them to do a gig at my school and if they don't well thank God that we are the ones giving them a ride to their hotel. After the concert was over and all the people left from back stage and they were in their changing room talking I knock on the door and just walk in (thank God they had on clothes) seeing that they were sitting down in their seats and there are no more seats I take a seat on Zayn's lap, he really didn't have a problem with it instead he surprised me when he wrapped his arms around my waist, so I started to get them all comfortable with me by flirting with them especially Zayn. We started talking about their song Little Things (in a good way of course because that is my fave song by them) and I started to sing it. They started singing with me. Then Zayn and I had that whole stare in each others eyes intensely and then we both leaned closer to each other until his soft lip touched mine. He kissed like an angel, he liked my bottom lip asking for entrance on of course I gave it to him. We went on like this until Harry "coughed". "Are you ready to leave yet love birds?" Harry asked. "Um... Yeah, but first I have a question for all of you" I say. "What is it?" they all asked. "Will you um... come to my um... school and sing at our class president election, I'm kind of running in the race... and I kind of wanted to get you to sing for my school. If you want I will pay you anything for you to do this for me." A soon as I say that Zayn, Niall, and Louis say yes but Harry and Liam take longer to think about their decision. So they did rock, paper, scissors (3 out of 4)and... Publication Date: March 7th 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-roxycupcakes327

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-beky-cybille-we-could-have-been-best-friends/

Beky Cybille We could have been best friends Let's end Bullying This is a dedication to all the bullied kids out there. Let this book inspire you, let it be motivation. A beacon of light. Lets end Bullying. Part 1 Anaya Davyn I sobbed as I saw the pictures scattered around the halls, being handed out, looked at, laughed at, and posted online. A picture of me naked, and covered in chocolate, trying to cover myself all in vain, trying to catch the last of my dignity. I didn't think of it as anything when Jessica, my bully invited me to go to the spa with her. I thought she finally saw what she did wrong and wanted to start over. A lie I believed, all too easily. Look where it got me. I thought she couldn't do anything else to break me, she's already done many things. Ever since 8th-grade middle school, she seemed to have it out for me. Finding out she was going to be going to the same high school as me, that wasn't the worst of it. No, the worst of it was all the humiliation, insults, and cruel pranks. But this! This hit the cake. "Oh lookie here." Jessica looked up along with her group of friends as they handed out printed pictures to jocks who stared and laughed, and made inappropriate comments. This was beyond humiliation. "How are you doing bestie? Enjoy the spa? I'm sure you did, considering the slut you are, you might have fucked the manager." Her eyes narrowed as she said that, referring to the last comment I made of her about being a slut when I tried to fight back. It's probably what made her go all out, but it was also true. Besides, I deserved to insult her, after everything she put me through for the past two years. Tears came to my eyes once more when the boys laughed looking from the picture to me. "Looking for a good lay sweet cheek? I'll give you a hundred bucks to buy some clothes." Jessica's boyfriend commented making Jessica's eyes narrow in anger before she stalked up to me. "Let this be a lesson for you, don't mess with me. Ever." With that she took my buttoned shirt and yanked it open, popping the buttons showing my chest. I gasped and went to cover my chest but not in time, as Jessica, also took my bra by the middle breaking it making my B cups spill out. I tried to gather my ripped shirt to cover myself, hearing flashed go off along with mocking laughter. I looked up at Jessica seeing a victorious smirk on her face making me angry. I never thought I would be able to hate someone, but she proved me wrong. "One day people will see you for the bitch you are, and you'll lose anything you've ever claimed you 'gained, deserved, or belonged to you.' One day you will be ruined Jessica Mc-henry!" I screeched looking around the silent halls before shouldering past her. 10 years later I smirked looking down at the girl in front of me, no not girl, that was years ago. This here is a woman, a woman in desperate need of help, but I'm not the one who will be helping her. No, she ruined her chance years ago. "Jessica Mc-Henry.' I spoke firmly a poker face I mastered over the years coming to my features making her even more nervous than she was before. "You want to work, at my company?"     Part 2 "One day people will see you for the bitch you are, and you'll lose anything you've ever claimed you 'gained, deserved, or belonged to you.' One day you will be ruined Jessica Mc-henry!" And she was right. It didn't take long for parents, and authorities to catch on when Anaya Davyn tried to commit suicide. All before she moved away. I was blamed. I drove a girl to suicide, and if she did succeed, I would have been charged. No- it didn't end there, my boyfriend broke up with me when he found out I was sleeping with others. (Amazing how he didn't figure it out sooner. Andrew Peirce is an idiot.) My friends turned against me, doing what I have been doing to Anaya all those years. They actually picked up their grades, got into college and got married- Never thought they had it in them. I barely graduated high school, and my parents disowned me after they found out I was pregnant, which I lost from going overboard with the alcohol. With my parents disowning me I didn't get the money and savings I needed and never got to go to college. Not like I would have made it with my grades anyway. All in all, I lost everything, and my life fell apart. All because of her.... And my stupid jealousy. Now I'm sitting in front of the very girl who ended me. The tables have turned and instead of her begging desperately to me, it's me begging desperately to her. Except, it's a way worst outcome for me then it was for her. "Please if I don't get a job soon, I'll get kicked out of my apartment!" ....Were my exact words as she stared down at me. I could see she grew hardened from all experiences, and worked hard to become the woman she is today. I could see her reluctance to accept my plea. I was ready to walk out the door, dejected and defeated when she called my name. "You're hired." I blinked once, twice. "W-what?" She smirked at me. "You're hired, however not for the job you applied for. You don't have enough experience for that." Her comment cut through me like steel, but I deserved it. "I did just hear you say you need a job, however. Are you up to doing any job I assign you to?" I hesitated but nodded. I need this, and that was all she needed. "Well-"She slammed the folder containing my resume. "You start tomorrow." It took a full year of some of the most horrible, and low paying jobs I lived off. She got bored and didn't even bother anymore, making it worse than her paying negative attention bullying me time to time. It was then, after another year, I steeled myself and knew what I had to do. This was what she wanted, well I'm not going to let her win, not like she let me years ago. I worked hard, saved money, went to college and finally got the degree I needed to get a real job and finally quit. Now... That's a day I'll never forget. I slammed my papers on her desk making her look from at her paperwork looking from me to them wearily. "What's this?" I smirked feeling victorious, the same smirk she wore every time when I was assigned to the lower and some of the nastiest jobs. But it taught me something. "My resignation letter." She tilted her head in surprise. "You finally got yourself together huh? Didn't expect that from you." She brought the paper towards her reading it before signing what needed to be signed. My breath hitched in shock. I expected another reaction from her. Anger, maybe from the underdog rising, breaking from her grip. It's how I felt when she left leaving my life in chaos. "What's wrong?" Her eyes peered at mines. "I just expected you to react differently, isn't that what you wanted after all? Payback for everything I've done over the years. Me desperate, groveling at your feet, taking any bone you throw at me." She smirked at that leaning close. "I enjoyed it for some time before I resolved, I can't enjoy it for so long like you did with me. 'I wouldn't be like her' was what I told myself. 'But I won't change a thing.'' I stared at her blankly. "And now I don't doubt, it will be the same for you." I nodded mutely as she signed the final line before sliding it towards me. I went to take it but was stopped by her grip. "You know all of this could have been different right?" She smiled, "I could have been your best friend." She leaned back. "But I guess I still taught you something a good friend should. You don't get everything you want in life handed to you on a silver platter." I stared into her eyes. "You learned that way earlier than me, didn't you?" For once she let me see what she felt. "Yes." Her famous poker face came on. "Now get out of my building and don't come back." She said harshly as I walked out with a smile. "Yes, we could have been best friends."   Bonus "Anaya sweetie?" I stared ahead at the wall not even bothered to answer. "Honey...." My mom trailed off probably catching sight of my wrist. "You said you would stop." She broke down seeing the blood. "I know." I said hollowly. "They also said bullying could be stopped." I gasped shooting off my bed looking around, before sighing in relief. "Just a dream." I breathed out. No a harsh memory. One of many I thoughts I buried, before she came into my life, and walked out once again. "I'll just do some paper work." I sighed getting up and sitting at my desk. Turning on the light I buried myself into work. Work, that's all I've been doing, trying to distract myself. It worked for some time, but now..... "Miss Davyn, your five O'clock is here." I looked up from my desk just to see him walk in. I did a double take. "Miss, Davyn huh. Fancy." He gave me a smile sitting down in front of me. "Mister Peirce." I acknowledged him before looking down at my work. Childish I know. But, is there a guideline to how to react when your long time crush, ex-best friend, and ex-boyfriend to your evil enemy comes visit you? Thought so. Andrew Peirce. As cliché as it is, quarterback player back in high school and popular it boy. Yeah had a crush on him, stupidest mistake ever. It made the hurt, hurt even more. Heard his football career took off, hard not to hear considering the name Andrew Peirce has been everywhere for a while. You can imagine how annoyed I became. It seems like Football has done him good. "Oh come on, don't be like that Naya." I froze at the sound of my childhood nickname. "You and I both know you lost the right to call me that." He frowned but nodded in understanding. Did he really think I would welcome him back into my life? Just like that, after everything he's done! "Well, I guess-" "Why are you here?" I cut him off narrowing my eyes. Andrew shifted nervously rubbing the back of his neck. "I thought, I could come see how you were doing, I heard you've done a lot even after...." I smiled bitterly. "My unsuccessful suicide?" He flinched at my blunt words. "Yeah, I never meant for that to happen, I mean no one did...." I rolled my eyes. "I know they just wanted me to wallow alone, and take everything thrown at me without any consequences for them. Understandable. We can be selfish once in a while can't we?" He grimaced at the familiar words. 'We can be selfish once in a while, can't we?' It's just what he told me when I complained to him about Jessica, when he began going out with her. He always had a crush on him and it killed me, I think I killed our friendship too. I don't know whether it was wrong, or right of me to ask him to break up with her. I still don't know till this day. "I-" He groaned running his hand through his hair while I tried not to notice his flexing muscles. "I know, I messed up big time. But I want to make it up to you, be there for you. Your mom is worried about-" I narrowed my eyes. "-Wait, when did you see my mother?" His mouth opened and close like a fish before he relented. "During one of my games, she approached me." "Exactly why? Doesn't she know you played a part in all this?" I said harshly. He sighed. "How can she when you never said a thing?" I felt my nose flare in anger. "Are you blaming me, on how the bullying went too far?" "No no." He shook his head in panic. "A friend, she said you needed a friend. You've been burying yourself in work, pushing people away. She's worried about your health, your mental health. Anaya, you need someone there for you." I sneered standing. "And you're the one? One of the causes in the first place." "Yes, I'm going to become your friend, be there for you, and drag you to parties, to socialize." He stood towering over me. "Whether you want my friendship, or not." It wasn't an empty promise either, and I guest after a long while. I finally found fun, and true friendship. True friends, one who sticks around and picks up the pieces. They could be your previous friends you went to school with, a fall out friend, or simply you're rival and enemy. You simply don't know who could end up being your best friend.   Text: Beky Cybille Images: Beky Cybille Editing: Beky Cybille All rights reserved. Publication Date: May 17th 2016 https://www.bookrix.com/-xo9aacb090f4d55

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-trueful145-vocaloid-high-extra-episode/

trueful145 vocaloid high extra episode kaitouxicecream girl anime lover MWHAHAHAHAH kaitou:ICE CREAM-CHAN DON'T LEAVE ME WITHOUT YOU IN MY LIFE I-I-I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'LL DO SO DON'T GO ice cream: sorry but it's so hot and i-i don't want to leave you either but it SO DAMN hot so please kaitou-kun if you care for me you'll WAKE THE HELL UP AND CHECK ON ME!!! kaitou:eh? *WAKES UP* kaitou:WHAT!!! WAIT A MINUTE *RUNS IN THE KITCHEN* WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY ICE CREAM miku:huh len:what are you talking about? rin:huh?..ooooohhhhhhhh i ate it. kaitou :ice cream-chan why WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE YOU WHY NOT ME!!!!!WHY...WHY!!! rin: *fixxes ear phones* it about to get down *cough* KAITOU-KUN THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS THAT I BROKE UP WITH YOU SINCE YOU CARED MORE FOR THE ICE CREAM THAN ME kaitou:HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT AFTER YOU EAT ICE CREAM-CHAN ONLY I CAN EAT HER AND YOUR IN MY HOUSE AND YOU DARE TO SAY THAT rin:THERE YOU GO AGAIN WITH ICE CREAM-CCCCCCCCHHHHHAAAAAAAANNNNN WELL IF YOU LIKE ICE CREAM SO MUCH WHY DID YOU DATE ME AND NOT IIICCE CREAM-CHAN IN STEAD!!! meiko haku dell and neru piko luka:well ummm meiko: SHUT UP DAMIT ALRIGHT!!!!!!!!! miku: well every one there a reason wh were here right an it because........WERE ANOUCING COUPLE OKAY 1.COUPLE IS mikuxlen and here are a few pics <im;trueful145_love.jpg;full>g; 2. is dellxneru next 3.hakuxpiko *sorry no pics of hakuxpiko online* haku:O.-" WAIT NO ONE ONLINE WANT US TO BE A COUPLE piko:well NO ONE CAN STOP OUR LOVE *haku piko hug each other* everyone:awwwww how cute miku z:EWWW THAT GROWS HEYYYY!!!! WAIT WHY DON'T I HAVE SOME ONE WHO LVE ME miku:don't worrry in chapter 5 you'll meet a boy who like you named mikuo miku z: GOOD BECAUSE IF I DIDN'T I'D KILL YOU ALL MWHAHAHHAHHAHHA everyone:OH GOD HELP US!!!!!!!!!!!KOWAI *mean scary in japanese* Publication Date: October 8th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-trueful145

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-milli-may-skys-its-complicated/

Milli-may Skys Its complicated One- 11 years later Isacs p.o.v- Um Isac where are you going?My mother asked as i tried to walk out the front door.Im going to go hang out with Levi and Mitch.I sed.Okay ill drive you.She smiled.Mom im 16 and i have my own car.I laughed.Oh yeah right.My little boys growing up.She sed giving me a big hug.Mom....I whined.Oh sorry.She sed letting me go.I kissed her cheek goodbye and drove to their house.Levi and Mitch are my best friends and cousins.My mom and their dad are brother and sister.Levi is older than Mitch by two years.Mitch is my age which makes Levi 18.I love them.Their like my brothers not my cousins.When i was younger i was closer to Levi.He tuaght me everything i know.He also taught Mitch too.He taught us about sex and the secret to being a great kisser.Long story short he taught us how to be a player.Yes i know your probably thinking im an asshole but im not that big of an asshole.Before i get down and dirty with them or even before i get to know them i tell them im not a relationship kind of guy.Unlike Mitch and Levi.They just meet a bitch and fuck her then move on.Now thats rude.At least i warn them.And yes in case you all were wondering im not a virgin anymore.I was devirginized when i was 13.I know its horrible...But dont worry i always use pretection.I honestly dont know why girls fall for me.I think its because of my piercing green eyes.Or maybe my chocolate brown hair.I dont know...I walked in their house striaght to their man cave.They were playing video games.Hey guys.Mitch nodded not taking his eyes off the tv.Sup.Levi sed quickly not looking at me.What the fuck!!!Where the hell were you Mitch!!Levi yelled when they died.I was right____Just shut up....Levi sed turning his attention to me.So theres a party at my friends house you in?He asked me.I shook my head.Why the fuck not?He asked confused.Cause im going to dinner with my mom at my older sisters.I groaned.Oh im sorry.Levi laughed.Me too.I sed.We played video games untill i had to go.I drove home and went straight to my room.I kicked off my shoes and turned on the tv.There was a knock on my door and my mother appeared.Isac what are you doing get up and get your shoes on.We are late.She sed.I ignored her.She turned off the tv.What the hell!!I yelled.Get up now!She sed starting to raise her voice.I rolled my eyes.Isac please dont start.She sed.Start what???I yelled.Just get up and put your shoes on.She sed and walked out of my room.I picked up something glass and threw it at the wall.It shattered.Did i mention i have anger issues.I put on my shoes and walked slowly down the stairs.When we got there my mom told me to be nice to my sister.truth is i hate my sister....I have my reasons.Sage opened up the door with a grin.Oh great you guys are here.Come in.He sed motioning for us to come in.We stepped in.My sister was walking to us.She hugged my mom and turned to me.She smiled.Hi Isac!She sed holding her arms out for a hug.I did a fake smile and walked away from them.Her face dropped and i could hear them whispering.I walked to the bathroom.Yeah they live in the same place like me.I looked at myself in the mirror.I ran a hand through my chocolate brown hair.I walked out and saw a pink and black room.It must be Hollys room.Holly is my real niece.Shes from my sister.Then i saw a picture frame of me and Addy.In the frame i was swinging Addy around.We must have been 13 and 12.I picked it up to look at it closer.What are you doing?Addy asked.I jumped at the sound of her voice and dropped the picture frame.It shattered on the ground.Oh my god im so sorry...I can fix this.I sed embarressed as i picked the glass up.I heard her laugh.I looked up at her.Why are you laughing?I smiled.Cause your funny...She giggled walking over to me.I stood up.Here its fine.She sed taking it from my hand and putting it in her dresser.Addy what happened to us.I blurtted out.Well we grew up and found different people.She sed turning to face me.Oh right....I whispered.Well it doesnt have to be that way.I sed.Well thats the way its been for the past four years Isac.She sed sitting on her bed.Well we can change that.I mean if you would like to.I sed.Id like that.She smiled.Like i can make time for you and you can make time for me.I sed excitedly.Isac i already sed yes.She laughed.Oh right.I blushed.Awhhh Isac still blushes with that same goofy smile.She sed walking over to me.It only made me blush more.She smiled and poked my cheeks.Stop....I whined.She giggled and kept doing it.Stop or i will tickle you until you piss your pants.I sed.You wouldnt dare.She urged.I smerked.Test me.I chuckled.She poked me again.Before she could run i grabbed her around the waist and swung her around.I put her on the bed and tickled her.She was laughing so hard she couldnt even talk.Isac dont......Stop....She laughed.Oh dont stop okay.I smiled and tickled her more.Suddently her door swung open.Get off my duaghter!!!Her dad yelled.I stopped tickling her and we both looked at him.I got off her and she got up.Daddy its not what you think!!!He was just tickling me!!!She said.Yeah sir.I said trying to make it better.You shut up!!!I want you out of this house!!!He yelled before my sister Abby came in followed by my mom and Holly.Sage stop it!!!She yelled.You know about this?!?!He asked her furious.Yes but you have it all wrong Sage!!!!She yelled.What do i have wrong Abby?!?!?Clearly he was trying to have sex with our daughter!!!He yelled.Abby told Holly to leave the room with my mom.Sage i think you are being so retarded right now!!!They were not haveing sex!!!He was tickling her!!!She yelled.It didnt look like it!!He yelled.Well it was nice talking to you Addy but i have to go.I said giving her a fast hug.I walked out of the room and out to the car. Two- Addy's p.o.v. My mom walked out of the room angry at my dad for his behavoir.I glared at him.What?He asked irratated.Really dad??Isac really??I whispered about to cry.Im sorry Addy.Your my little girl...I just___He sed before i cut him off throwing my hand up.Im so tired of this shit!!!I yelled.He looked at me shocked that i cussed at him.That i even cussed at all.I walked out of my room.Addison!!!I heard my dad yell.I ran down the hall as tears ran down my cheeks.I ran past my mom.Addy honey.She called but i ignored her.I ran out the door and just ran down the street.I ran to the park and sat on a swing.I cried until i couldnt cry anymore.I wipped my tears and started my journey to Isacs house. Isac's p.o.v.  Thats all i was doing was tickling her.I sed to my mom.I know honey but when you come in on someone ontop off their daughter and moving it kinda gives off bad signals.She sed.I wasnt haveing sex with her.If i was going to have sex with her i wouldnt do it in the same house as her parents.I sed.She slapped my arm.What!!!I yelled.Isac i dont want to hear those kinds of things out of your mouth!!She yelled.What does it matter??I have sex all the time.I glared.Isac!!!She yelled.Look mom im not going to be quiet okay.Im sorry that i didnt turn out the way you wanted me to.Im sorry that i do drugs and have sex.I sed.Isac thats enough!!She yelled.Stop trying to sweep it under the carpet!!!You already know i do these things and i wont change!!!I will do what i want you got that!!I yelled.She nodded as a tear fell from her eye.I slammed her car door and went to my room.I ran a hand through my hair and turned out my lights.I locked my door and layed on my bed.I heard a knock on my door.Go away.I called.They knocked again.I got up and opened my door.I sed go away!!I yelled.I was expecting my mother but it was Addy.Oh sorry.I sed letting her in.Why are you here?I asked.Wow that was rude.She smiled.Oh sorry i mean wouldnt your dad be mad if you were over here?I asked.Actually.....She sed twirling a piece of her hair.He doesnt know your here.I sed.She shook her head with her eyes down.And i have a felling you ran away and you snook in from the back door...I sed.How did you know?She asked sitting on my bed.Addy ive known you for years..I sed walking over to her.Her head was down.I picked her head up with my finger.And youve been crying.I sed.She smiled and then began to cry again.I sat next to her and hugged her.I played with her hair as she cried.She told me how her dad was to protective over her.It wasnt the first time he had done that to her.He does it all the time.She told me.She soon fell asleep and i cuddled her and fell asleep too.I woke up to whispers.I sat up and Addy woke up.She sighed and put her shoes on.Where you going?I asked.Its my mom.I got to go.She sed.I nodded and got up to.I hugged her tight and walked her out.Oh great your awake.Abby sed.Addy nodded.Your fathers waiting outside.We should get going.She told Addy.Addy nodded.Ill walk you out.I sed.She nodded.Her dad was waiting by the car.He saw me and glared.Thank you for taking care of her.He mummbled.I nodded in surprise.He stepped closer to me.If i hear you touched her in anyway im coming after you.He whispered.Bring it papa..I smerked.He grabbed me and slammed me against the car hood.I pushed him off and was about to hit him but Addy went infront of me.Isac...Its okay hes not worth it.She sed.I looked down at her.I had this urge to kiss her but i didnt want to.I knew it would only be because her dad was there.She hugged me.I hugged her back.Sage stop!!!!Abby yelled.What the kids being a punk!!!He yelled.That kid is my brother!!!You cant hit him!!She yelled.I kissed Addys cheek and walked inside.Isac why didnt you tell me she was here!!!Her parents were worried!!My mom yelled.Dont start...I groaned.Dont start???What the hell were you guys doing in there all cuddled up together.She yelled.I wipped around and she jumped back.You know what why were you even in my room??!!I asked.I....She stuttered.Didnt i tell you not to go in my room!!!Its my space!!!I yelled.Im sorry.She stuttered.Im leaving.I sed grabbing my car keys.When will you be back?She asked.When i want to.I sed coldly.I got in my car and drove to my cousins house. Three-  Addy's p.o.v. I walked inside and went to my room.I heard my mom and my dad aguring.He wanted to come in here and yell at me but my mom stopped him.I was laying under my blankets when my mom came in.She sat on the edge of my bed.Are you here to yell at me too.I asked.No.Im here to talk.She said.I sat up.We didnt have sex.We are just friends.I said.Oh honey i know.Im not acusing you.She sed.I let out a sigh of relief.Addy you know what type of person Isac is...I mean you go to school with him.She laughed.I cracked a smile.Okay well back to the point my brother Isac is going through some tough times right now.It comes along with the age.She sed.Isacs not going to hurt me.I sed.She sighed.Addy honey....Isac will hurt anything that has female parts.She sed.Maybe other girls but not me.Anyways we will always be best friends.I sed.She sighed.Why are you even telling me this imean you dont even know him anymore...He hates you.You left him..He told me everything.I blurrted out.Her eyes filled with tears.Oh my god im sorry.I sed.No its fine.She whispered and walked out of my room.I feel like shit now. Isac's p.o.v.  I spent the night at my cousins house.I know there was school in the morning but i didnt want to be at my home.I told Levi everything.I drove them to school too.I went to my locker and put my books up.A blonde girl came up to me.Hey remember me.Im chealse.She sed.Oh yeah we fucked last week.I sed.We did?She asked.Yeah we did and i would really like to do it again.I whispered in her ear.She smiled and i kissed her hard.She then walked away as she blushed.Nice one bro.Levi sed putting his hand on my shoulder.I nodded with a smerk.I closed my locker and there she was.....Addy... Addy's p.o.v.  I walked through the school doors and there my friends were waiting for me.Oh my god Addy are you okay!!!??I heard you ran away!!Chealse cried.She gave me a big hug.Yeah im fine.I fake smiled.Thank god...She sed before turning to talk to someone else.I saw my other friend Riley roll her eyes and i laughed.She came over to me and gave me a hug.So you actually ran away this time.She sed.I nodded.To where?She asked.I was about to answer her but i saw him...Isac...I sed under my breath.She turned around and then turned back to me.Omg you ran away to Isacs house?She whisper yelled.I have to go talk to him.We can talk about this at lunch?I asked.She nodded and i made my way towards him.He gave me a hug.I smiled.Are you okay?He asked.I nodded.You sure?He asked holding my face in his hands.I nodded.Awww well would you look at that...Best friends back together.Levi sed.I smiled as he held his arms out to hug me.I gave him a hug and then gave Mitch a hug.These were my child hood friends.If i was going to be best friends with Isac of course i would know his cousins.Im so glad you are talking to Isac.Mitch breathed.I looked at him confused.He will not stop talking about you.He laughed.I laughed looking at Isac.Isac glared at Mitch.Its fine.I talk about you too.I laughed.He blushed with that goofy smile.Hey.Chealse sed with a fake smile on.Hey.Isac breathed.So um are we still on for you know...She sed twirling a piece of he blonde hair.I rolled my eyes.Isac nodded and she kissed him.I watched as he wrapped his arms around her waist.After she was done she smiled at me.I knew the only reason she came over here was to show me she had something with him.Like i would want my best friend...Yeah right....Well we have to go Levi sed.I nodded.Mitch and levi left.I turned to leave but Isac brought me back.So i was thinking we should hangout like old times.He sed.I nodded.If my dad doesnt kill you.I laughed as he walked me to class.I aint worried about your dad.He chuckled.Your not?I asked.Addy im really not afraid of anybody.He sed.Besides your dad only wants to kill me because he thinks im trying to have sex with you.He laughed.I fake laughed.Here you are.He sed as we stopped at my classroom.I hugged him goodbye.I cut the hug short when i felt his hands go lower down my back.He smiled and i went in my classroom. Isac's p.o.v. She hugged me goodbye.My hands went lower and lower down her back then she cut it short.I smiled to play it off.When she was gone i kicked the locker.I can tell i freaked her out.I didnt mean to do that with my hands...They just have a mind of their own.I walked to my class.I told Levi about what had happened.Dude boby parts do not have a mind of their own.Your hands do not do something unless you want them to.He sed.What are you saying....That i made my hands try to touch her ass?I asked.He nodded.Think about it.He sed then turned to talk to a girl.Could that be true.Could i be haveing different thoughts about Addy...My best friend.... Four- Isac's p.o.v. After school-I went home to my room.The thought wouldnt leave me alone.I didnt know why i was having these thoughts.I layed in my bed thinking about Addy.Her perfect shiny black hair..Her blue eyes.I cant be in love.Love doesnt exist.Im not in love with Addy.Im not in love with Addy.I sed this line over and over in my head.There was a knock on my door interrupting my thoughts.I opened my door and to my surprise it was Addy.Addy..I sed.Hi Isac.She sed.I invited her in.Had did you get in?I asked.Back door.She sed plopping down on my bed.So what brings you here?I asked looking at the clock.I thought we could hang out like old times.She smiled.Well that really sounds great Addy but i have a date tonight.I sed.Her face dropped.You mean you have a fuck tonight.She glared.I smiled at her cute angry face.Why are you smiling?She asked angerly.Your cute when your mad.I chuckled.She blushed and then glared.Your jealous.I smerked.I am not!She yelled.If you werent you wouldnt get all red about it.I smerked.She looked away from me.Come on let me give you a ride home.I smiled.She stormed past me.I grabbed my jacket and laughed.She was mad at me.She was looking out the car window and she didnt talk to me.I haerd her teeth chattering.Are you cold.I asked breaking the silence.She shook her head.I gave her my jacket as i drove.I sed i wasnt cold.She sed coldly.Addy you were chattering your teeth.I sed.Doesnt mean i was cold.She sed irratated.Are we fighting?I asked.She didnt say anything.I guess thats a yes.I sed.No.She sed.I pulled up to her house.She got out not even saying goodbye.I got out to.I couldnt leave her mad at me.I grabbed her.Let go!!!She yelled.Shh your dads going to hear you.I sed.I thought you wont afraid of my dad.She sed struggleing to get away.I let her go.Addy whats wrong?I asked.Nothing...Can i go inside now..She groaned.No not until you tell me whats wrong.I sed.She just stood there with a glare on her face.Ohhhhh!!!I know what this is about.I sed with a smile.What.She she sed with an attitude.Your jealous about me kissing Chealse.I smerked.Am not!!!!She yelled.Will you please be quiet.I sed.Why should i...She sed...Addy if you want a kiss i will give you one...Its not that big of a deal.I sed.No i dont want a kiss from you..She whisper yelled.Yes you do.I sed poking her cheek.I do not...Besides you suck at kissing.She sed with a smerk.I let out a big laugh.Addy that was like 6 years ago.I laughed.So i bet you still suck.She glared.Well if you let me kiss you maybe i could change your mind.I sed walking towards her.She backed up against the hood of my car.Addy i am a very good kisser now.I sed.Get away from me.She whispered.Whats wrong afraid that your statement isnt true.I whispered.I leaned closer to her making her lay her back on my car hood.I was praticaly laying on her.We were chest to chest.No.She stuttered.I think your afriad to kiss someone.I sed with a smile.She glared and tried to push me off of her but i wouldnt budge.Im the only guy youve kissed before.I bet your still a virgin.I sed.Oh stop it already Isac!!!She yelled shoveing me off of her.I looked at her shocked.You dont need to dig any further okay.Know you know my secret congradulations.She sed before walking up her driveway.Addy i sed before grabbing her back.Leave me alone.She sed.I forced her back into the postion we were in and held her hands down.I kissed her roughly.I was going to kiss her softly but she was trying to get away.She calmed down as i kept kissing her.I looked at her and she looked at me.Im sorry okay.I didnt mean to get in your biusness.I sed.Its fine.Im sorry for being so snotty.She sed.Its fine.I mean hey you got your kiss.Now your even.I laughed.She giggled.I hugged her goodbye and waited until she got inside.I then went home and texted Chealse.Im really sorry for tonight.I had a little situation.I texted.Its fine.We all have situations right.She texted back.Yeah.I texted.I took off my shoes and got in my bed.I fell asleep thinking about that kiss i gave Addy. Addy's p.o.v. I walked in a daze.That kiss.Isac kissed me.It was kinda weird kissing my best friend...I liked it though.He was right hes a great kisser.I walked to my room with a big smile on my face.I didnt even say anything to my parents or my sister Holly.I sat on my bed with a smile.Thinking about the way he grabbed me and pined me like that.My mom stepped in and sat infront of me.Whose jacket?She asked.Chealses.I lied getting under my covers.She nodded and walked to the door.She turned off my light.Addy i wish you wouldnt lie to me.She said before leaving.Shit i thought to myself.I fell asleep. Five-   Isac's p.o.v. Isac!!!!!!I heard faintly.I woke up to a hit in the face with a pillow.What the fuck!!!I yelled at my sister.Isac what the hell were you doing with Addy last night?She asked.I was just dropping her off.I mummbled before tuning over in my bed.Why was she wearing your jacket?She asked.I ignored her.Oh no you didnt....Hell no!!!I yelled.Thank god.she breathed.I would never do that to Addy.Im not going to have sex with her okay.I sed.Isac you better not hurt her.She sed.Get out.I groaned.Fine i will go but keep your hands off of her.She sed.With that she left and i went back to sleep. Addy's p.o.v. The next day i told Riley about the kiss and how Isac has been advoiding me.Maybe he felt something too and got scared...She shrugged.Wait too???I asked.Addy i know you like him.You cant lie to me.Im your bestfriend.She sed.I smiled and nodded.I continued talking to her when someone pulled me away.They brought me into one of the janitor closets.I turned around and was face to face with Isac.Did you tell my sister about last night?He asked angerly.So now you decide to talk to me..I sed with a fake laugh.Addy im serious...Did you.He asked.I shook my head.He let out a sigh of relief.Why arent you talking to me though?I asked.His eyes got big and he tried to walk away from me.I pulled him back and he kissed me again.This time kissing me softly.I looked at him shocked and he walked out.I stood there  and then walked out to find him but he was gone.He left me confused. Isac's p.o.v. I had to set things straight to Addy.She needs to understand why i cant be her friend.I drove to her house.I really didnt care right now if her dad was there or not.I was going crazy.I knocked on the front door.It opened and it was her.I walked right in grabbing her hand and bringing her to her room.Isac whats wrong?Whats going on?She asked as i closed and locked her door.Addy i need to tell you some things.I sed.She nodded and sat down.Okay i cant be your friend anymore Addy!!I blurrted out.Why?She asked with her eyes filling up with tears.Its not you Addy...God thats a lie it is you.I mean its me.Your to damn beautiful.I cant do this.It was so much easier to be your friend when we were younger because i wasnt interested in girls like that.I mean i was when i was 13 but that doesnt really matter.Im sexually active Addy.I just want to fuck fuck fuck.Your a girl and your fully developed.You make my hormones go crazy.Like right now i want to kiss you...No fuck that i want to fuck you.What im trying to say is i want you really bad but i cant do that to you Addy.I wont.I sed really fast.She got up and came to me. Addy's p.o.v. He was breathing really hard and sweating like he was dieing for air.I walked over to him.Isac you need to calm down.I sed sweetly.I cant Addy.I have to go.He sed trying to walk away.I put my hands on his neck.He just stared at me.I then kissed him.He kissed back and then pushed me away.Addy no..I cant do this to you.He sed.Isac its fine.Im asking for it.I sed.He shook his head.My parents arent home and Holly is at a friends house.I sed rubbing his chest.Stop Addy....He sed with a really worried face.Fine...Its either we do this to get it over with so we can be friends again or we just dont be friends at all.I sed backing away from him.Addy you dont get it do you he began but i cut him off.It doesnt matter anyways cause you just hit it and quite it.I blurrted out.Thats not true.He sed getting mad.If its not true then kiss me.I sed.No.He sed.Then its true.I sed walking away.He grabbed me and kissed me softly.I ran my hands through his hair.He then pushed me away and went to my bed.Addy stop.He sed as i walked towards him.I sat next to him.Isac lets just get it over with.I whispered.We sat there in silence for a while.I kissed him again.He bit my lip.He made me lay down and got ontop of me without breaking the kiss.I admit i was a little scared when he put his tounge in my mouth and started grinding on me.He bite my neck.You scared?He asked in a whispered.I shook my head but really i was dieing inside.He let out a sigh and got off of me.Whats wrong?I asked.Your scared Addy.Thats what im talking about im not going to take it from you if your not ready.He sed.Im ready.I sed.No your not and even if you are i dont want to do that to you.He sed.We heard a car door.I have to go.He sed walking to my door.I grabbed him back by his hand.I pulled him into a kiss.Addy your parents.He mummbled between kisses.The doors locked remember.I sed with a smerk.I pulled him closer by his jacket.He fell ontop of me onto the bed.We laughed and he kissed me.I heard the rattle of keys but i didnt stop.The door opened and closed really fast.It was my mom...She grabbed Isac by his jacket and pulled him up.You wouldnt do this to her my ass.She sed and dragged him out my door.Fuck....Im so dead...I thought to myself.Shortly after i got a text from her saying pretend your asleep your dads coming.I ran to my bed and got under the covers.As i closed my eyes he walked in.Just in time.He came over and stroked and kissed my forehead.Then he left.I went to my phone again.Another text.Dont think we wont discuss this when your dad is at work cause we will.Sent from mom.I rolled over and tried to get some sleep.     I woke up to my dad calling my name.I sat up and saw his face.It was a look of panic.Dad whats wrong?I asked concerned.Addy....Theres been an accedent...He stuttered.My eyes got wide.Dad what happened.I asked squeezing his hand.Its Isac...Hes been in a car acceident...He said slowly.My grip on his hand loosened...I felt my heart stop.Tears flooded my eyes.Please no....Just...Tell me...Hes not dead...He cant be.I cried as my dad held me.Hes not dead Addy..They shocked him back to life.He whispered.Then what are we doing here??Lets go see him.I cried trying to get up.Addy honey hes in bad condition...I think it would be better if you saw him tomorrow..My dad sed softly.No!!!I want to see him now!!!I yelled.Addy i will take you in the morning.I promise.He sed.No!!!I screammed while crying.I ran away from him and locked myself in the bathroom.I hugged my nieghs to my chest. Six-   Addy's p.o.v. The next morning i woke up on the bathroom floor.I got up and washed my face.My eyes were crusty from all the tears.There was a soft knock at the door.Addy honey did you still want to go to the hospital?My dad asked.Yeah just give me a moment.I called.I heard his footsteps get farther and further away.I went to the restroom and came out.Oh Addy how are you?My dad asked flying to my side.Im fine i just want to go to the hospital.I sed.He nodded and we left.They told me what room he was in and i didnt even wait for my dad...I just took off running.I got there out of breath....There he was perfect.He didnt even look like he got into a car accident.I rushed to his side ignoring the fact that my mother was on the other side sleeping.I grabbed his hand tight.I wanted to talk to him.I wanted to see his piercing green eyes again.His smile...I wanted to hear his laugh more then anything in the world.Hes so perfect right...I heard Lorie my grandmother say from the doorway.Lorie was Isacs and Abbys mother.I looked at her.Like as if it never happened.She whispered.I nodded.I walked over to her as her eyes filled with tears.I gave her a hug.Its going to be okay grandma.Hes gunna be fine.I whispered as she sobbed.Oh im sorry baby for getting tears on you.She half smiled.Its fine.I smiled.Anyway how are you?She asked.Im not doing any better then you are.I sed.She gave me a hug.Oh Abby your up.She sed.I turned to face my mother or step mother either one.Yeah...She sed softly.Hun why dont you come with me to go get some food.Isac will be fine with Addy.She sed.Abby nodded.My grandma left the room.Oh and Addy we arent going to talk about last night.Your off the hook.She sed.I nodded.She left the room.I held Isacs hand again.Then suddently he squeezed my hand and mummbled my name.Isac?I sed trying to get him to open his eyes.He slowly opened his eyes halfway.He smiled halfway and sed hi.I laughed and sed hi back.I started crying cause he was awake.Why are you crying???He asked.Dont cry.He sed stroking my cheek.Im crying cause im happy your awake.I sed wipping my tears.I called for a nurse and she came in right away.I ran to get my grandma,my mom,and my dad.They ran back with me.The nurse wanted to talk to my grandma and of course Abby wanted to know what was going on with her brother.My dad went also.I sat on the side of the bed.How you feeling?I asked.Uh good...I think...I mean ive never had stitches before so...He sed.I giggled.Dont worry you will get those out soon enough.I sed.I better or i cant have sex anymore.He smerked.Dont worry Isac youll get them out in like a week or so and then you can have sex with as many girls as you want.I laughed.Thank god.He sed sarcasticly.I laughed.So how long do i have to stay here.Im bored.He sed moving his toes while looking at them.Ill ask.I sed getting up.I walked over to my mom.So whats going on?Are we taking him tonight or what?I asked.Uh he has to stay here for one more night just to make sure hes good to go.She sed.Can i stay with him!!!I asked excited.How did i know you were going to say that.She sed.Well?I asked.Addy i dont know...She sighed.Oh come on please.I begged.Your dad would never allow it.She sed.Thats why your going to talk to him.I sed with a smile.Her eyes got wide and before she could say anything i walked away.Okay theres good news and bad news.I sed.Okay give me the bad news first.He nodded.Okay bad news is you have to stay here for one more night.I sed with a sad face.Oh man are you serious!!!I have neck cramp from sleeping on this bed!!He whined.I know..Do you want to hear the good news?I asked.Sure im gunna need something to make me kinda happy.He sed.I nodded.Im trying to stay here with you tonight.I smiled.He grined.Thats awesome.He sed.I nodded.I watched tv with Isac for about a couple of hours.My dad came in to say goodbye.He had to go pick up Holly from school.My mother went with him cause she hasnt seen Holly in a day.We both waved at him.After he left Isac shook his head.What?I asked.You know hes never going to let you stay.He smerked.Dont say that.I sed.What its the truth...He sed changing the channel.Thats why i have a plan b if plan a doesnt work out.I smiled.He looked at me.Plan b?He asked.Youll see if plan a doesnt work.I winked.He rolled his eyes playfully.Later on that night my parents came back to pick me up.I heard them arguing  outside Isacs room.Shit.I whispered.What?Isac asked.I ran over to him.Scoot over.I whispered.What???Why??He asked.Plan b!!I whisper yelled.He scooted over and i climbed in next to him.Pretend to be asleep.I whispered.He nodded and closed his eyes.I closed mine too.Addy your........My dad started but stopped when he saw me already sleeping.Look shes fine.Just let her stay here with Isac..Abby sed.I promise they are just friends.She sed.Okay fine but i want her home after Holly gets dropped off at school.He sed.Okay lets go.She sed and i peeked around to see if they were gone.I think you should have went with plan b first.Isac laughed.I nodded and laughed too.Shortly after we fell asleep. Seven- Isac's p.o.v. I was so happy to go home.I was so tired of that hospital...All i did there was watch tv and eat and sleep.Plus their food was shitty.I want some of my mamas food.I sat in the waiting room with with Addy.Oh my god Isac theres your new girlfriend.She laughed as a really ugly red headed girl passed.Oh man to bad you already saw here first.I chuckled.She slapped my chest playfully.Ow my stitches.I sed putting my hand over them.Oh Isac im so sorry....I forgot.She sed pulling me into a hug.Let me see.Did i ruin them.She sed trying to lift my shirt.Are you trying to see my stitches or are you really trying to see me shirtless.I smerked.She stopped and blushed.Shut up....She mummbled.So you do?I laughed.I do not.She sed.Yes you do.I protested.Isac ive seen you naked...Not very impressive.She smerked.My mouth dropped open.Hold up...I was 12.I was still developing.And as i recall i saw you naked too.I sed back.Her mouth dropped.When!!!!She yelled.When we went skinny dipping at your house.We were 12 and 13.I smerked.She glared at me cause she knew i was right.Oh and you didnt start getting boobs until you were in 9th grade.I whispered.She slapped me.I laughed.I did to have boobs before that.She sed angerly.Sweetheart no you didnt..Believe me ive checked.I smiled.Your sick!!She yelled hiting my arm.Im not sick...Im just a guy.I sed nodding.You know what it doesnt even matter because it was pretty small when you were 13 too.Hey didnt you say you lost your virginity when you were 13....She smerked.My face turned red.I was mad now.She swore she would never tell anyone or bring it up.Are we seriously fighting about my dick?I whisperyelled.Yes i believe we are fight about your dick.She glared.I had to laugh.The whole thing was stupid.Who fights over thier dick size with a girl.When i started laughing she started laughing too.Addy?Abby called.Addy smiled at me.Its time to go.Abby sed.Addy nodded and got up to leave.I pulled Abby aside.I forgive you.I sed.She smiled.You heard that?She asked.I nodded.I gave her a hug and she left.I sat back down waiting for my mom.She finally shows to pick me up.I cooked your favorite meal.She sed while we drove.I nodded with a smile.We got home and i ate and ate and ate.Oh how i missed your cooking mom.I sed.She smiled at me.I like it this way.Me being nice to her.Sometimes she just makes me so mad.I have anger issues and i cant control them...I looked at my phone and had like 50 missed calls and 30 text messages...All from Mitch and Levi.They must be so worried.Usually i answer my phone for them but ive been asleep and shit.Do you want to go shopping with me?My mom asked.Uh nah.Im gunna call Mitch and Levi back.I sed.She nodded and left. Two weeks later-So wheres Addy?Levi asked.I dont know.I sed before some random burnnette jumped on my back.I turned around and kissed her.Whos this?Levi asked.Oh this is.....Then i looked at her to tell me her name.Jessica.She sighed.This is Jessica.My date for tonight.I sed putting my arm around her.She giggled.Levi fake smiled and turned away to talk to some other guys.I turned to her.Okay sweetie why dont you go wait for me in class i will be right there.I sed poking her nose.She blushed and walked away.I waited until she was out of site then texted this blonde that wanted to fuck me.I told her to meet me in the bathroom.I put a out of oder sign on it when no one was looking.I waiting until she got there.I wrapped a arm around her waist and pulled her in with me. Addy's p.o.v. I watched as Isac pulled a girl into the bathroom.I shook my head at the thought of that other girl.She doesnt even know that hes about to break her heart.I closed my locker and walked to class with my friends.At lunch-Hey Addy your his best friend why isnt Isac answering any of my calls.She asked tilting her head.I shrugged my shoulders.I got up to get some soda and heard some girls over talking.There she is.Best friend my ass.More like bed friends.They whispered.I turned around and walked up to them.What did you say bitch.I asked.Oh i was just telling my friends that i think your secretly doing Isac.Lexi sed.Lexi is a wanna be whore.I suddently turned red with anger.Listen here you stupid bitch.....I started before she cut me off.Save it Addy.Everyone knows your trying so desprately to get into Isacs pants.She laughed with her friends.Look you wanna be slut,i can have Isac just like that if i really wanted him.I sed snapping my fingers.She suddently glared at me.Well i bet he wont want you if you tried.Isac wants me not you.Just face it honey.She sed with her plastic barbie smile.Honey he wouldnt touch that with a ten foot pole.I yelled.Now people were starting to stop and watch.Oh right and thats why i have a date with him tonight.She smerked.That wont be for long you ugly ass cunt.I yelled.You take that back you fucking hoe.She sed getting in my face.She pushed and all hell broke lose.I pushed her back so hard she bumped into a table.She came back trying to punch me in the face but i blocked it.I came back with a sock to her eye.She yelped and grabbed my hair.I kept punching her in her stomach and her chin.She fell and i got ontop of her and punched her in the face.One after another until someone pulled me off.Levi held me as i kicked and screamed.Let me go!!!Just let me hit her one more time!!!I yelled struggling to get away from him.I calmed down until i saw Isac help her up.   Eight- Addy's p.o.v. Addy really a fight?!!My dad yelled with his hands up.I shrugged.What was this about?He asked.She was talking shit about me.I sed.She was talking shit about you???Why didnt you walk away?He asked.She pushed me!!!Im sorry dad but im not going to walk away from that.I sed angerly.Wait she hit you first?He asked.I nodded.And you won?He asked.I nodded.High five.He sed.I looked at him confused and high fived him.He then left my room.I ran a hand through my black hair.I was opening my window for some air when i saw a shadow.I turned around only to bump into Isac.God Isac!!!I yelled.He smiled and laughed.So what was all that at school today?He asked plopping on my bed.I shrugged my shoulders.Addy come on what happened?He asked.I dont want to talk about it okay.I sed looking out the window.Okay Addy...If you dont want to talk about it you dont want to talk about it.I understand.He sed hugging me from behind.I felt butterflies.So wheres Abby?He asked letting go of me and sitting on the bed.Shes at work.I replied.And your dad?He asked.He just left for his job.I sed.I sat down next to him.Remember that one time i came here and told you i couldnt be your friend anymore...He whispered.What about it?I asked.Im sorry for that...I mean i dont even know why i went off like that.He laughed running a hand through his hair.Maybe because you wanted to have sex with me....I mummbled.I did not.My male horemoans wanted you.He sed with a pouty face.Okay whatever you say.I sed rolling my eyes playfully.He glared then he smerked.Which brings us back to you wanting to see me shirtless.He laughed.I jerked my head back to him.Dont you even start!!!We already went over this.Ive already seen you naked and not impressed.She laughed.Oh believe me i am so much bigger and better then i was when i was 12 and 13.He sed pinning me down.I laughed as he tickled me.He stopped and looked down at me.Wanna see it.He smerked.I layed under him looking into his deep green eyes.I was trying not to kiss him.He got off of me and before i knew it he was undoing his belt.I cant believe he was serious.He was actually going to show me his penis.He started unbottining his pants and i jumped up.Okay Isac stop.I get it okay.You have a big one.I sed trying to advoid looking down or at him.You didnt say no.He chuckled.Okay well im saying it now.I breathed.He buttoned up his pants again.Aww Addy are you scared?He joked.No.I whispered.Are you afraid to see my dick?He joked.He kept picking and picking until i had enough.No i am not afraid to see or touch your dick!!!Just stop picking already!!!I yelled walking away from him to sit on my bed.It was quiet for awhile until he sat next to me.You havent even seen a guys penis huh...He sed slowly.I nodded with a couple tears falling from my face.Oh Addy im sorry.I didnt mean to make fun of you or scare you.He sed wipping my tears away.Its fine Isac really.I sed pushing his hands away.I tried to walk away but he grabbed me.He turned me around to face him and kissed me hard.I felt his tounge slide into my mouth.I ran my fingers through his hair.He travled kisses down my neck to my chest.He bit my neck softly.He put me against the wall and kissed my chest.I felt his hands grab just under my butt.He picked me up.I wrapped my legs around his waist.He kissed my neck and took off my shirt.I knew he was serious when he tried to take off my bra.I grabbed his hands when they went to unhook it.He let out a irratated sigh.He put me down.Im sorry Isac im just scared.Ive never done this before.I sed.He nodded.Its fine i wasnt supposed to do this with you anyway.He smiled and kissed my forehead.I put back on my shirt.We sat on my bed.Do you want to watch a movie?I asked.He shook his head.I looked at him.Then what do you want to do?I asked with a smile.He looked at me sweetly.He sofly pressed his lips to mine.I put my hands on his neck.Lets get it over with.I whispered.You sure?He asked kissing my neck.I nodded.Just be gentle with me Isac.I sed looking into his green eyes.You know i would never hurt you.He sed then kissed me hard.He got ontop of me.We took off our clothes and did it.He was so sweet.So gentle.I have to go Addy...He whispered.What!!!No!!I sed glaring at him.You just cant have sex with me and just leave like that.Oh wait thats right you do that with all the girls.Go...Go ahead Isac.I yelled.He looked at me with sad eyes.Addy you dont understand...Maybe your okay with what just happened but im not.He sed sitting up.Oh so the sex was horrible with me.I sed throwing my hands in the hair.Okay now your just playing games.He sed.Me playing games???No Isac your the one who plays games.Remember your the player.I sed my voice so cold.You know what im not going to take your shit!!!He yelled and put his clothes on.Yeah thats right bitch!!!Leave!!!I yelled.He grabbed his shoes and left.I rolled over with tears in my eyes.Abby was right.Isac is a player.He doesnt care for anyone. Isac's p.o.v. I slammed the front door and got into my car.I hit the stirring wheel in anger.I started my car and drove home.I invited Levi over.I wasnt supposed to have sex with her.I sed pacing back and fourth.Okay calm down.Did you use protection?He asked.Of course.I sed.and you told her that you werent okay with haveing sex with her?He asked.I nodded.Isac!!!No wonder why shes mad at you!!He yelled.I know...It just came out wrong.I sed looking at the ground.So are you in love with her?He asked.I dont know....I mean no.I sed.I had no better way of not falling in love.I would tell myself your not in love with Addy.You have no heart.Just forget about her.Shes just another bitch you hit.Are you sure?He asked.I nodded.She called me a bitch...I smerked.Levi laughed.Bro you are a bitch.He chuckled.I know i am...I said nodding. Nine- Addy's p.o.v. I walked into school to find Riley.Hey girl.She sed giving me a hug.Hey.I breathed.Are you okay??She asked.Yeah im just feeling a little sick.I sed leaning on a locker.Addy maybe you should go home and get some rest...She sed.Im fine.I sed.I looked up and Isac was passing by.He didnt even look at me.I rolled my eyes.Whats going on between you two?She asked.I dont want to talk about it.I breathed.Lets just go to class.I sed.She nodded.After school-I walked in my room still feeling kind of sick.Addy honey do you want some cupcakes?My mom asked.Sure.I sed nodding.She nodded and disappeared down the hall.I put my bag down and i ran to the bathroom.I held my hair before it could come out.Oh Addy.My mom sed running to my side.She rubbed my back until i was done then gave me some toliet paper to wipe my mouth.She walked me to my bed.Do you feel better now???Do you need some medicine?She asked.Uh yeah i feel alot better....I think i just need some rest.I sed.She kissed my forehead and left.I rolled over wondering why i had thrown up.I was feeling fine....After 15 minutes of silence my eyes shot open at the thought that was going through my head.I may be pregnant....... Isac's p.o.v. Alright time for you to go.I sed putting back on my boxers.Why cant i stay with you?The brown haired girl whined.Because i told you.Im not a tied down kind of guy.Plus i have to be somewhere right now.I sed fully dressed now.She pouted.I walked over to her and moved her bangs out of her face.I smerked down at her and kissed her hard.She tried pulling me ontop of her.Addy stop.I laughed pushing her away playfully.Did you just call me Addy?The girl asked.No.I sed trying to blow it off.Yes you did.She sed.Whose Addy?She asked.I dont know what your talking about....I dont know a Addy.I sed quickly.I think its time for you to go.I sed.She nodded and got off my bed making her way to my door.She then stopped.You know i dont know what happened between you two but i think she will give you a second chance.She smiled then left.I plopped on my bed.Great now that girl knows i did something with Addy....Ever sence our fight ive been trying to push her out of my mind. ******** Addy's p.o.v. Alright time for you to go.I sed putting back on my boxers.Why cant i stay with you?The brown haired girl whined.Because i told you.Im not a tied down kind of guy.Plus i have to be somewhere right now.I sed fully dressed now.She pouted.I walked over to her and moved her bangs out of her face.I smerked down at her and kissed her hard.She tried pulling me ontop of her.Addy stop.I laughed pushing her away playfully.Did you just call me Addy?The girl asked.No.I sed trying to blow it off.Yes you did.She sed.Whose Addy?She asked.I dont know what your talking about....I dont know a Addy.I sed quickly.I think its time for you to go.I sed.She nodded and got off my bed making her way to my door.She then stopped.You know i dont know what happened between you two but i think she will give you a second chance.She smiled then left.I plopped on my bed.Great now that girl knows i did something with Addy....Ever sence our fight ive been trying to push her out of my mind.*******Addys p.o.v.-It was friday and im not going to school.My mom thought i was sick....I cried myself to sleep last night.Yesterday i went to the liquor store and bought a pregnancy test while my parents were at work.I felt like jumping off a bridge when it was positive.....How was i going to tell my parents...How was i going to tell Isac....Shit i dont even talk to him anymore...Thats great already being a single mom.Way to go Addy......Ad?My mom asked knocking on my door lightly.Im leaving to work now..She sed softly.I groaned.I got up and watched her drive away.I walked down stairs slowly and turned on the tv.After 5 minutes of watch tv my stomach started to growl..I went to the kitchen and ate everything.After i ate ice cream i felt it coming back up.I ran to the bathroom and threw up.I washed my mouth and hands.After i looked into the mirror.I smiled and went back to watch tv.Addy!!!!!!Open the door!!!!I heard Rileys voice yell from outside.I pulled myself up and dragged my feet to the door.She walked in and i shut the door behind her.Why werent you____wow what happened in here??She asked looking at all the food i had taken out and ate.Uh dont worry about it.I sed running a hand through my black hair.Okay???Well why werent you at school?She asked.Im sick.I sighed.Bull.She grinned.I am.I half smiled.I sat on the couch.Okay what gives.She sed sitting infront of me.What do you mean?I questioned.Whats bugging you?She asked.Nothing.I sed shrugging.Addy im your best friend...I know when theres something wrong with you.She sed.I looked at the ground.Addy its okay...You can tell me anything.She sed trying to make me look at her.I looked at her and tears began to fall.Addy whats wrong?She asked sounding worried.I slept with Isac.....I cried.And.....Im pregnant...I sobbed.Her eyes widened and she immideatly pulled me into a hug.How did this happened?Did you guys wear protection?She asked.I nodded.On your first time?She asked.My first time....I sobbed.She rubbed my back softly.Addy how many people know?She questioned.Just you.I sed wipping tears.Are you going to tell your parents?She asked.I have to....I sed.She nodded.What about.....She started but i shook my head.You have to tell him.She sed.No i dont....I dont have to tell anybody....I will take care of this problem.I whispered.Addy you mean.....ABORTION?She whispered.I nodded.Addy....She sighed.Look Riley just let me do what i have to do.I sed.One tear fell from her eye.She nodded and looked away.Dont be sad...I'll be okay.I sed.She nodded and walked to the door.Oh and Addy if you do decide let me know and i will be there.She sed with a half smile.I nodded and hugged her. Isac's p.o.v. Wow man you must have made her really mad.Mitch sed.You told him?!?!I asked angerly.What hes my bro and hes not going to tell anyone.Levi asured me.I rolled my eyes.Shes just over reacting.I sed turning the channel to the tv.I dont know man.....It all seems kinda sketchy.Mitch sed shrugging.Theres nothing sketchy about it.....I shrugged.Right Levi?I asked.He shrugged his shoulders.Your supposed to be on my side.I laughed looking at my phone.Shit!!!i have to go.I sed jumping up.Where the hell are you going right now???Levi questioned.I have a date with some blonde girl...I sed with a smerk.Mitch smiled and Levi got up and grabbed his keys.Where are you going?I asked.Dont worry about it.He smerked.I rolled my eyes. Addy's p.o.v. Addy honey Levis here to see you.My mom sed faintly..Who??I asked coming down the hall.She didnt have to answer because i already saw who it was.Hey Addy.Levi sed with a smile.Oh hey Levi.Whats up?I sed.My mom left for work.Uh why werent you at school?He asked.I wasnt feeling that well.I lied.We sat and chatted for awhile on the couch.He sed a joke and i laughed.Your pregnant.He sed in a hushed voice..I stopped laughing and nodded.I knew the minute i saw you something was wrong.I can tell by the fear in your eyes.He sed.Addy i need you to tell me the truth.He sed gently.I nodded.Did he pressure you into it in anyway?He questioned.I shook my head and tears began to rise.Okay one more questioned.He sed.Did he use protection?He asked.I nodded.Okay then that means the condom broke.He sed.I nodded and wipped tears away.Addy dont cry.Your going to be okay.He sed giving me a hug.I hugged him back.How am i going to tell my parents Levi???I asked worried.He cupped my face in his hands.Listen Addy....Its going to be fine.Im here for you.He sed sweetly.I smiled and nodded.Ive been pregnant for 3 days now and two people already know.Im trusting them with this infromation.I just dont know what i want.I dont know if i want to have this child or if i want to have an abortion.Im too young to be thinking about this.But what i know is i have to tell my parents.I walked down the stairs with Levi.My dad was sitting at the table reading.I stood before him shaking.Levi rubbed my back telling me its okay.Daddy i have something to tell you.I sed my voice trembling.He looked at me.Addy whats wrong?Whats going on?He questioned with worry in his voice looking from me to Levi.Tears rolled down my face.Addy.....My dad sed.Im haveing a baby.....I whispered.What?He asked.Im pregnant.I breathed.He just staired at me for a bit.His face full of confusion?Then worry and then to anger.Addy how did this happen!!!!???How could you let this happen!!??He cried.Im sorry daddy!!!I was so stupid!!!I cried as he hugged me.He stroked the back of my head.He suddently pulled me away from him.Who did it??!!He asked sternly.I just shook my head and cried more.It was that Isac kid wasnt it?!?!He sed looking me dead in the eyes.I bit my lip and just cried.My dad got this deathly look on his face and walked past me.I couldnt stop him.All i could do was tell Levi to protect Isac.Levi was gone. Ten- Isac's p.o.v. I walked in my house from a date.I realize i left my phone in my car.I grabbed it and turned to face Sage.He punched me in the face and then grabbed me by the shirt.Ive been waiting for a good reason to kick your ass.He punched me in my gut and i coughed.Just friends my ass!!!He yelled and punched me again in the face.He was about to hit me again when someone pulled him away.I fell to the floor coughing. ****** You know you should go to the hospital for your broken nose.Levi sed.Im not going.Its just a little broken nose.It will heal on its own.I sed angry that Addys dad beat me up.I fucking hate that guy!!And what the hell did he mean by just friends??!!I yelled.Uh well Isac....He only found out about you haveing sex with his daughter because shes pregnet....Levi sed slowly.My body went cold and all i could hear was my own breath.Isac???Levi sed shaking me.I looked at him confused.You sed shes pregnant?I asked.He nodded.I layed back on the couch.How?I asked.Well you see,you inserted your____No not that!!!I mean i used a condom!!I sed with fear in my voice.Isac condoms do break.He sed.He got up and shook his head.What?I asked.I just dont understand why you would have sex with her.She was your best friend.And now shes going to be your worse night mare.He sed looking at me angerly.I looked at him shocked and he left. Addy's p.o.v. My mom sat on my bed.I heard what happened.She sed gently.I let out a breath.Addy honey you knew this could be the outcome.She sed holding my hands.I nodded and cried.She hugged me.Im going to go see if your father is okay.I nodded.I heard yelling and a door slam.It was quiet after that.I started getting out of my bed when my father came in.I stopped in my tracks.You know im taking you out of school and your baby sister.This is what i was trying to protect you from.He sed shaking his head.I looked down.I know dad...I whispered.Your not aloud to see him or any of his family again.He sed sternly.Well that is except for mom.I sed.No her too.He sighed.I looked at him like he was crazy.You cant kick mom out!!!!Are you crazy!!!I yelled.Are you crazy Addy!!!!Your the one who is doing crazy stuff!!!!He yelled glancing down at my stomach.My eyes filled with tears.Shes not even your mom Addy!!!He yelled.Ouch that hurt....What about Holly?I questioned.We will figure something out.He sed.Oh and your grounded.He sed then closed my door.I sat back on my bed.I held my knees to my chest and cried.This was all my fualt.Just to have sex with some guy that doesnt care for you...I got up and put on some shoes.I had to take care of this problem.No one else will.I jumped out my window and started my way to the clinic. Isac's p.o.v. I was kicking the shit out some zombies when the system turned off.What the___I started before i got slapped.What the fuck was that for!!!!I yelled.You fucking basterd!!!!You got Addy fucking pregnant!!!!!And to top it off Sage kicked me out because i stuck up for you!!!My sister yelled.Its not my fault you stuck up for me!!!I yelled at her.So im assuming you already know Addys pregnant?!She sed angerly.I nodded.So your just going to play your little stupid zombie game and push the problem out the window?!She yelled.I nodded.Thats the plan.I sed.Her eyes got wide.Fuck you Isac!!!She sed leaving my room.Love you too sis.I called and turned my game back on. ******** I walked out of the bathroom drying my hair with a towel.I walked in my room and saw my sisters friend sitting on my bed.Hello Isac.She sed with a smerk.I smiled and put my towel on a chair.Hello Makaylyn...I sed and she walked to me.She smiled.How bout that kiss.She sed sweetly.I looked at her shocked and nodded.She then came close to my lips with hers.She punched me in the gut.As i went forward she grabbed my arms and twisted them behind my back pining me to the ground.Okay so i hear that you got little Addy pregnant and you dont want to help her.Is that true?I didnt answer her and she twisted my arm more.I yelled in pain.Yes or no?She asked.I noddedOkay well heres what im here for.Your going to help her out and be there for this child understood!!!She said.Yeah.I mummbled.She then let me up.Damn i love the way you do that.I sed.Its sexy.I sed looking her up and down.How about that kiss?I asked.She rolled her eyes playfully.You dirty little boy.She laughed and leaned in.Before our lips could touch she grabbed my ear hard.Oh come on!!!I yelled.Your going to be there!!!She sed sternly.I nodded.I want to hear you say it.She sed.I let out a groan.I will be there for Addy and the baby.I sed.She nodded and grabbed my face into a short kiss.She walked out of my room leaving me stunned.Her red lip stick stained on my lips.I licked it off.There was no way in hell i was going to be there for Addy and that baby.I dont want it.If she wants to keep it then thats her problem.Ive made my descion. Addy's p.o.v. I didnt have a phone anymore because my dad took it away so i had to walk to the clinic to make an appointment.Hes makeing sure i have a horrible punishment.He even took me out of school and put me in a hameschooling program.I have to stop this problem before it gets worse.I walked up to the lady at the front desk.May i help you?She asked.Yeah i need to make an appointment for and abortion.I sed.She nodded showing no reaction.She acted as if girls like me come in everyday and ask for abortions.She asked for my name and number.I gave her my home phone number.For the last four days ive been watching the house phone so no one could answer it but me.Still no call.I guess they were booked.After i get home from picking up my baby sister.I open the door to see an angry Riley.I told Holly to go do her Homescholing homwork.Sit....Riley sed.I sat down at the table.I was confused of how she got in here and why she was mad at me.When were you going to tell me about your appointment to get an abortion?My eyes grew wide.Addy?She asked her arms crossed.After it was done....I said flatly.What i wasnt going to lie....So i see you made your descion...She said sitting back.I nodded once.Addy i think your makeing the____Best descion for my life right now.I cut her off.Ry i cant have a baby right now...Im to young.Its a problem for everyone.Thats why im taking care of my problem.I said standing up.She just sat there her eyes filling with tears.I dont want you to do this...Can you just please give it a second thought..She asked grabbing my hands.I nodded knowing what i was going to do. ****** Riley stayed for dinner to make sure i didnt leave...I watched as she played with Holly.My phone buzzed.I looked down and it was a text from Isac.I rolled my eyes and opened it.Hey its Isac....I know the situation and Im just letting you know what ever you decide to do i wont be in the kids life...I made my descion..So i dont want you to send any thing to me reguarding the kid.Im out...He texted.I felt the tears coming but i held them in.Whats wrong?Riley asked.I shook my head... Eleven- Isac's p.o.v. I saw chealse and walked over to her.Hey sexy.She sed.I smerked and kissed her.I looked up when someone sighed annoyed.It was Riley.She gave me a dirty look.I smiled at her.Pig..She sed and walked away.Whats that all about?Chealse asked.Uh I dont know...I sed.I have to go...See you at lunch.I sed then walked off to find Riley.I looked around in the lunchroom.I was about to give up when i saw her in the hall walking.I ran after her.Riley!!!I called.She turned and saw me.She glared and kept walking.I caught up to her.Riley can we talk please.I asked trying to keep up with her.Theres nothing to talk about Isac!I dont like you!!!Your a fucking pig and a asshole!She yelled still walking.People began to stop and stare.Your making a scene...I sed lowly.She stopped and got in my face.Wow!!!Thats all you care about is your popularity!!Pathetic...She sed then turned to walk away.I grabbed her by her arm and pulled her in the girls bathroom.What the hell!!!!She yelled while i made sure there was no one in the stalls.Listen Riley what ever happened between me and Addy is our bussiness not yours!I dont need you treating me like shit in front of everybody!!!I yelled.Isac your such a prick!!!It is my bussiness!!!Shes my bestfriend!!!She yelled.No its not your bussiness...You dont even need to be in this..I sed trying to calm down.Well maybe i wouldnt need to be in this if you were there supporting her!!!She yelled.Can you keep your voice down...I sed grabbing her arm.She slapped me across the face.Dont you ever touch me,talk to me,or even talk about me ever again!!!And that goes for Addy too!!!She yelled before walking out.I dont even want her anyways!!!I called hoping she heard me.I kicked the stall door. Addy's p.o.v. I called back the clinic and rescheduled yesterday.Which means im going today to fix my problem.I walked Holly to the home school place and then made a call. Isac's p.o.v. I layed in my bed watching tv when my phone started buzzing.Hello beautiful.I said.Im ready come pick me up.Addy said.Okay im on my way.I sed then hung up.I got in my car and drove to Addys house.I honked my horn to let her know i was there.She walked out and got in without a word.I pulled out of her driveway and drove to the clinic.She looked out the window the whole time.So do you want me to go in with you?I asked.She glared at me and slammed my car door.I laughed to myself and pulled out my phone.Hey it was just a joke....Anyways ill be out in the parking lot.I texted her.I turned the music up. Levi's p.o.v. Its been about 2 weeks that ive been hanging with Riley.I like her...Shes a pretty cool girl...Isac doesnt know that i like her or that i even know her.Same thing with Addy.So you free next weekend saturday?She asked sitting in my passenger seat as i drove.Nah i have a basketball game.I said.She nodded.Okay well maybe the weekend after this weekend?She asked.I think I can do that.I smiled glancing at her.Hey Babe isnt that Isac's car?She asked.I glanced over as we stopped at a stop light.I saw him in the drivers seat.What the hell is he doing at a pregnancy clinic?I asked.I dont know.She said as i pulled into the parking lot.I parked next to him and we got out. Isac's p.o.v. I was laying back in my seat listening to music when levi interupted me.Hey.Levi said taking my glasses off.Oh hey bro.I said kinda worried.I didnt want Addy to walk out and him see her.I see your hanging with Riley.Thats cute.I laughed getting out of the car.Cut it out Isac and tell me what your doing here?He asked sternly.Uh i just wanted to chill for a moment.I said.Chill....In a abortion clinic parking lot.He said with his eyes squenting.Uh yeah...So dont you have somewhere to be?I asked nodding towards Riley.Yeah...He said then looked passed me.Uh is that Addys bag?He asked grabbing her bag out of my car.Oh no!I said snatching it from him quickly.He looked at me weird.Its this girls bag that i fucked last night.I laughed putting it in the back.He nodded and then Riley yelled out Addy.Shit i thought to myself.Riley hugged Addy as she cried.Levi looked at me with descussed in his eyes.He hit me in the face and i fell against my car.Your such an asshole!!!I cant even talk to you!!!He yelled and brought Addy to his car.Pig!Riley yelled.He drove off leaving me with a busted lip. Publication Date: December 5th 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-aj362face961925

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-winxlovah101-vampire-love/

Winxlovah101 Vampire Love Can you fall in love with a vampire? dedication to vampire lovers all around america North America Caught I was walking home as usual well should i say sneaking back into the house as usual when i got a call it was from my mother. "what mother"? i said wondering what she might say. "Where have you gone"? "Are you hurt"? she said. "Mother mother i'm fine why do you keep worrying"? i said. "Beacause your my little one and i never want to lose you Emily". my mother said trying to stop the tears running down my face i said "Well if you don't want to lose me why do you yell at me like all the time mother"? "hmm are you just going to just call everytime and think everythings ok well your wrong ok if you yell i will never come back again never ever"! My mother was silent for a long time then said "i'm sorry Emily i will stop i promise"."its just that since your birth and your father leaving when you were born i'm just a little shookin up sorry please forgive me Emily please". I was wondering if i should forgive her but i thought it over and said "Ok mother i will forgive you". I could tell my mother was smiling. "ok Emily are you ciming home now"? my mother was wondering. "Yes mother i am on my way now". i said starting to walk home. "Ok honey i'll see you when you get home then ok"? my mother said. "ok"! i said then hung up the phone and went home. Goin Back To School.... Maybe I was getting ready when my cellphone rang. It was my Boyfriend ugh he calls every week-day. Ok here i go. "What Kevin"? i said. "Are you going to school today"? he said. "Yes last time i recalled i go every week-day". i said. "Well why don't you take one day off tell your mom that your sick because you are gonna be". he said. "What do you mean"? i said. "Well.... i'm.. uhh how can i tell this to you i know this going to break your heart but i'm sorry i'm breaking up with you". he said. "What why are breaking up with me"? i said with tears in my eyes. "Well we haven't been together at all lately and thats why". he said. "What the freak kevin thats what i tell you every week-day but no you just say oh well bye well you will pay you will pay and i promise you you will feel the fury of the red dragon"! i said. "oh well the blue dragon excepts that challenge"! he said. "ok where do you want to meet at the Dragon's lighthouse or the Dragon's groundhouse"? i said. "The Dragon's lair". he said. "T..the Dragon's l...l..air o..k..". i said. "meet you tommorrow". he said. "Ok bye". i said. I hung up the phone and laid down on my bed then i said "Oh someone please help me he will beat me and i get the punishment he beating me to death". i Frowned at the thought of that then started to cry in my pillow. "i am going to dye tommorow". i said. I went to sleep but for some reason i had one good dream. I was at the cliffs (part of the Dragon's lighthouse) and out of no where someone with a black coat and red clothes saved me from falling down but bit me he was a vampire but everything shined and i was a vampire. Though i hardly believe in vampires they aren't even real. I realy don't understand why i had that dream my other dreams were being stabbed in the stomache but this dream was amazing i hope i have it again. The New Boy Ok so i didn't go to school yesterday oh well i'm definetly going to school today. Thank goodness i didn't have to go to the Dragon's lair until after school. Ok i was lookin in my locker for my books and binder (ugh i had geometry class i hate geometry) when i heard somone announce on the entercom that there was a new student. hmmm a new student huh? i thought in my head. Then someone bumped into me. Publication Date: December 11th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-winxlovah101

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-kota-edgell-marshall-lee-039-s-monologue/

Kota Edgell Marshall Lee's Monologue The Monlogue Don't you know I'm a villain?   Solitary was a given for the mere, supernatural being I was destined to be. When they sensed my presence, a sudden spark of alarm and panic glint in their eyes, proof that conscience had told them what needed to be said in order to protect themselves, to keep clear of the Vampire King. The title itself—although a bit exaggerated, I must say—was simply just that: a title. Not that I was completely innocent to the point where I had not earned the rank, but my soul was truly not a dark one. Though, if I were to go about my way to explain this, no one would believe me. No one believes the bad guy. 

 Every night, I'm out killin', sending everyone running like children.   It's true that at a time, the spill of human blood sent me into a frenzy. The feeling alone was able drive one into a self-imposed coma. Uncontrollably. Incoherently. My mind blocked out every other thought when I saw it. The color was all that really mattered, though. As long as something was red, that's all my body required for satisfaction, but just the sight of that dark red liquid sent shivers down my spine. Yearning, my tongue whipped around these impure lips of mine, lips that could only hide under a strong, innermost desire to plunge forth and plant them on the necks of my ignorant victims.   I was a young vampire in the period I used to hurt others intentionally. Although my memory wasn't the greatest, fragments would appear in my mind whenever I was asleep. Pitch black, dreamless visions were my favorites. At least then, I didn't wake up by the nightmares of my past, my voice only able to describe the agony by the same blood-curdling scream my victims had uttered, the very scream that escaped between my own uneven sobs. 

   The days my mind recalled those horrible memories were the only days I'd see Fionna. She was the light you saw at the end of a long, frightening tunnel; my lost hope, the luminous innocence I longed for myself. A soul of purity and resonating light. She was my energy, the reason I ever got out of bed, let alone the house, to leave behind the insecurities holding me down from the world and beyond. Her very spirit reminded me consistently of the sincerity of life and everything it had to offer. Because of her, I was able to surpass my urge to kill myself, or at least attempt to do so. 

   I know why you're mad at me. I've got demon eyes, and they're looking right through your anatomy, into your deepest fears. 

   Naive. That's the way she should've stayed, but even the Vampire King doesn't have the will to hold a front.   Whenever Fionna asked, I'd deny it. "It's nothing." I'd lie through my teeth every time she asked about suspicious black bags under bloodshot eyes. "Just didn't get enough sleep."

   But she was smarter than that, quicker, not that it was something that could easily be hidden. I sensed it, that the blond heroine was slowly recognizing a pattern in my unusual behavior. After about a month, the questions I had stealthily avoided all my life had been stacked numerously by her eagerly troubled voice. Repudiation didn't get her off my back, and finally, the secrets that had been kept in these past few hundred years deluged in a matter of seconds. 

   After telling her my story, my ever-growing saga, I expected her to run or at least show me the fearful, disgusted expression all other humans used to show me before they went into an unavailing sprint, but all she did was cry in my suspense and thrust four words into my brain. 

   "You were so lonely."   Since then, Fionna’s never left my side. She was always there, reassuring me that I wasn't alone anymore and that there would always be someone whose presence would be enough to ease my pain. But what she doesn’t know? She’s more than enough for me. She’s all I could need.   Every time she looked into my eyes for more than four seconds, it reminded her of the people I slaughtered, the blood I shed, and the writhing bodies my young self had not thought carefully enough to leave be. Just as she stared into my crimson ones, her sapphire gleaming irises showed me the anxiety from within. 

 Was she hanging out with me because she wanted to, or because she felt sorry for me? She feared that if she left me alone, I'd go along with my attempts of suicide. Often, I'd ask myself this question and doubted my relationship with her. 

   Baby, I'm not from here. I'm from the Nightosphere." Publication Date: April 18th 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-alsevp13

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-marissa-romero-the-girl-who-dates-to-much/

Marissa Romero THE GIRL WHO DATES TO MUCH slut or whore? Some people call me a slut, because of how much guy's I’ve dated. I’ve dated 20 guys. All together I've had 80 boy friends because I've dated almost every single guy more then once. I’m 14 years old. i had my first boy friend when i was in kindergarden. His name was Jeffery Scott Davis. we kissed on the playground. when we were together he ended up going to MORENCI school. i had no idea that he moved,until i got to school and i asked where he was and they told me that he moved. he didn't even tell me. it sucked so much. the next year when i was in first grade i got my second boy friend. his name was Brian Jameson. we dated in first, second, and third grade. we dated for three years straight. we held hands, on the bus, and in class when the teachers weren't looking. we kissed on the bus, and in the class behind a desk. he used to make me put my hand on his upper thigh. he'd do that when we'd sit next to each other. it was really weird though. one time when we were sitting on the bus he ended up looking down my shirt. he only did that because this guy he said was his brother told him to. it was really stupid for him to do that. when he did that i moved and sat with my cousin Julie. when i was in sixth grade i dated a guy named Robert Morey. we started dating on the first day of school. we broke up about 3 days latter. the next guy i dated was Daniel Armijo. we dated eight times. the last time we dated he ended up cheating on me with some girl named Vanessa. he used to draw me pictures. the first time we dated he drew me a picture the first day. when he told me that he liked me i was shocked. in art my sister and Alexis told him that i said,''if you wanna date me then you have to ask me face to face.'' so that exact day after school he asked me out. i was in O.C.S at that time so on my last day i answered yes. the next guy was Cameron Wile. i broke up with Daniel to date him. he was playing football one day at lunch recess, when i went up to him and said,''people are saying you like me. is it true?''he said,''yes.''so on the bus ride home i had my sister ask him out for me. he said, ''maybe.''i said,''its a yes or no.''Gabriel Ruiz said,''maybe means yes in guy talk.'' i told him to shut up and then i said,''yes or no.'' he said,''what he said.'' i looked at him and i mouthed the word yes. he shook his head yes. so before i got of the bus i said,''its a yes?'' Cameron shook his head yes again. so when we broke up he told my friend Erika to tell me that he said it was over. she never did, so when he got a new girl friend i thought he was cheating on me. after Cameron i dated Travis. we dated 17 times. one day at school i had my friend Alexis ask him out for me. he said,''i don't know, because I’m moving in two weeks.'' she told me what he said and i said,''its a yes or no question.'' he said, ''yes.'' so i dated him in sixth, and seventh grade. we held hands, we kissed on the last day of sixth grade. i cheated on Bobby with him. we kissed so many times that i lost count. we emailed a lot. i cheated on Travis with Thomas Bertram, Chris Perez, and Mathew C. after Travis i date Chris Aragon. we dated in sixth grade. we only dated one time. we were in a group for the science fair. we sat together when we were dating. he watched me draw a picture that had to do with him. he watched me write I LOVE CHRIS on my name tag. we broke up when i accidentally erased his name off my name tag it was so stupid. the next guy i dated was Brody Gray. we dated during sixth grade. we dated six times. we held hands during a history movie at school for about a minute. we almost kissed when we weren't together. we would have kissed,but Mrs.Pizzuto came out of the building. after Brody i dated Joseph Keogh. we dated one time. we held hands twice after school. we lasted for awhile,then i cheated on him with a guy named Justice Hall. after Joseph i dated Mathew C. we started dating after my sister and his sister asked him out for me. they didn't tell me though. so i had no clue that we were dating. we dated for about 2 weeks. the second time we dated we were Texting,when he texted me say,''i wanna break up.'' the next guy i dated was Robert Williams. better known as Bobby. we dated in seventh grade. we dated nine times. we held hands. we kissed for the first time at the homecoming game. we broke up,but we got back together. i cheated on him with Travis,when he was out of town. after Bobby i dated Chris Perez. we dated six times. i cheated on T.J with him,when we were at the festival of lights. We hung out at the grand opening of the Copper Verde Park. i was mad at him,because he laughed when i got hit with a football. we hung out at the park again. he almost broke both of my wrists,when i was holding on to his so he would kill my sister. we held hand at the festival of light about 6 times. we held hands at the park,because i was trying to get his hat from him. Then he told me not to move my elbow down because i would elbow him in the balls. We kissed for the very first time at the festival of lights. it was amazing(talk about fireworks). the next guy i dated was Thomas Bertram. we dated 18 times. we held hands on the first day we started dating. we also kissed on the first day. i got my first french kiss from him,on the third day of our relationship. let him keep his arms around my waist. we hugged in between classes. let him kiss me on the neck. i got a Christmas present from him. we emailed all the time. the next guy i dated was JAIDEN. we met on BOOKRIX. he's really weird. we haven't talked in about 6 months. after JAIDEN i dated Logan. i told him that i love him. hung out with at school. we held hands. on the bus ride home i let him keep his arm around my waist. wrote notes to in 3rd hour. dated for one month,3 weeks,and 3 days. the next guy i dated was CHRISSEH. we dated when i was in seventh grade. i fell in love with him,when i saw his picture on BookRIX (even though we're about 300 million miles apart).he lives in the United Kingdoms. told him that i love him. asked him lots of questions. fell in LOVE with everything about him.we're still together.i think he's the one. I really like him.i hope maybe one day in my life i'll get to meet him. Hit me up and let me know if i'm a slut,a whore or a girl that dates to much.i don't think i am,but i wanna know who thinks i am.i'm not gonna freak out if you do think i'm a slut or whore.i just want to know the truth..so hit me up and let me know. Text: 22 Images: 22 Editing: 22 Translation: 22 All rights reserved. Publication Date: February 11th 2014 https://www.bookrix.com/-sadgyrl123

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-amber-white-remember/

Amber White Remember Chapter one: I just feel like it's gonna be a bad day. I don't know it's just that odd feeling you get when you just know something is going to happen. I hope it's just something I ate. oh now I remember it's march 20th! Mine and Josh's 6 month anniversary and I picked out a special outfit just for today, I did my hair extra special just for josh and I even got him a present. The weather in Califoriana is perfect for my new outfit too. Oh I just can't wait. Then just to add to it, it's my 16th birthday in just a month and two weeks away today! "Allysa the school bus will be here any minute!" ah man the school bus "Can't I just walk" "No" "ugh why not?" "Because....honey there's been some rumors about someone walking around the neighborhood trying to kidnap kids I just want you to be safe" "Fine I'll ride the bus there but, I can't ride it home because I have cheer practice" "Honey I said..." Allysa interupts her "Ok gotta go bye love ya" ugh I'm finally out of the house. I hate the smell of the bus it's like wet dog mixed with burnt hair ugh disgusting. A boy came to sit by me "Ugh that seats taken." "But this is the last seat on the bus" "I don't care it's taken" "Can't I just sit their for a little bit" "Fine, I guess" he'd be a cute boy if he got contacts, a haircut and a wardobe change. He has blue eyes with brownish blond hair the kind my little brother has. My brothers 6 he's so cute when he's not bugging me. The boy next to me reminds me of him a little "You don't even remember me do you?" "huh?" "You don't remember who I am do you?" "Uhm, No. Am I suppose to?" "Yeah we used to be best friends before highschool, I live across the street from you." "Oh I guess I forgot. So whats your name?" "Wow, It's mike" "Oh yeah I remember." I can't believe I forgot mike I remember when we were little kids we played all the time WOW that was like forever ago. Theres the school I can't wait to see Josh. I pratically climbed over Mike to get to the front of the bus "Oh yeah, bye mike" "Bye Allie" that had me stop in my tracks he still called me Allie? Why would he do that? "What did you just say?" "I said bye" "I know that I'm not stupid. I mean what did you just call me?" "I called you Allie" "Oh well it just shocked me no one has called me that in years." "Oh well sorry, I didn't mean any harm" "No none taken well by Mikey" oh crap did I just call him that well I'm just getting out of here before I do something to really embarrese myself. "Allysa come over here now!" that was my friend Mariah she looks cute in her staight blond hair and blue eyes were opposite in every way I have brown curly hair and brown eyes she the one that willing to do anything and I'm the one watching I just don't have anough nerves for crazy stuff the craziest thing I've ever done is step my feat in the ocean I had my chance to get in but I have a fear of sharks I can hardly get in a pool when it's dark outside sad I know but I just can't "Allysa you have to hear this!" "What is it?" "Theres rumors.....about" "About what Mariah?" Will she just tell me already "About you and Josh they say you guys are gonna break up" What! Thats never going to heppen. "What who would say that?" "The whole school is saying it." "Well it's a lie we're not breaking up" "Ok well I'll see you at lunch" "Ok, see you later" I can't believe people are saying that stuff gossip is terrible at this school. I can't believe it who would gossip and about me "OMG Allysa did you hear what happened at the party last night?" "No, what happened?" "That new girl poured punch all over herself and then ran out of the party it was so funny!" "Oh my gosh really! I have to tell Mariah." The lunch bell rings "Mariah did you hear about what happened at the party last night?" "Yes it's so funny I can't believe that happened...oh look there's the girl know. I can't believe she can show her face in front of everyone after what happened!" "I know right, I sure wouldn't be able too!" Mariah laughs and I laugh with her. I can't believe I haven't seen Josh all day he wasn't at lunch. Where is he? The school bell rang he should be here by now. "Hey Mariah! Have you seen Josh?" "No...why?" "Because I haven't seen him all day" Then I see Josh walking towards are lunch table, he looks just as gorgoeus as ever. I smile at him but he doesn't smile back. "Hey Allysa we need to talk" oh my gosh it's the line he actually said the line. I must be hearing things he didn't say that, he just couldn't that would be to cruel. The line that all girl's dread. The breakup line, oh my gosh "Hey Josh" I fake a smile. "Yeah, ok so things haven't been working out lately for me so I think we should move on" I all of sudden had the urge to cry. "I don't know what to say I can't believe your doing this to me and on are anniversery!" "It's are annivarsery?" "Yes! How could you forget? It's are 6 month annivarsery and I'm keeping your present know! Good bye!" "Uhm, bye." "Whatever" I can't believe that just happened to me and he doesn't even seem upset. Oh, that was so humilating what am I going to do? "Allysa! Oh my gosh, what happened your crying?" "Josh broke up with me! Can you believe it? He actually broke up with me!" "Oh my gosh girl! I am so sorry Allysa" "It doesn't even matter I just want to go home" "Okay, sweetie. Bye, I'll see you tomorrow Allysa" "Yeah, okay. Bye" I can't believe this. "Hey honey how was school?" "Fine." "Didn't you have cheer practice sweetie?" "I didn't feel like going today, I don't feel that good." "Ah I'm sorry sweetie, well scince your already home you want to come sit down with me and dad. Honey we need to talk to you." My moms face was serious "What about? Is everything alright?" My dad replies to my question. "Yes, honey. Well I guess we should cut to it. You see me and your mom haven't been getting along very well and we've just been growing apart. So were just going to get a....a" No this can not be happening not today, not anyday. But not today! "What? Your getting a what! A divorce?" "Yes, I am so sorry honey." Mom says. "I can't believe you would do this to me! And also to Charlie! How could you do this to us?" "Now, calm down." "Calm down! You want me to calm down! This day is offiaclly the worst day of my life!" I ran out of the house. My parents yelling after me. Hoping maybe the fresh air would calm me down. I'll just take a walk. I can't believe there getting a divorce. They are so ruining my life. I have to stop them, I just have to. They can't get a divorce. This would crush Charlie. What am I going to do? People will make fun of me because of them getting a divorce and I might have to switch schools. That would be terrible or even worse I won't be able to cheer anymore. Ugh, I have to do something to keep them together, something that will force them to stay together. I could just ask them not to get a divorce. Ugh, that will never work. They have already decided. "Hey!" A man sitting inside his truck yelled towards me. I keep walking, thinking about what my mom said earlier this morning. "There's been some rumors...about a man going around the neighborhood." My mom had said. I put my head down and keep walking. "Hey!" He yelled again. "Do you live here? Can you help me find this house?" I keep walking and he keeps talking to me. "I'm already really late, please will you help me with this?" I look up at the man, well he looks pretty harmless to me. I see a dim light as if it were a street lamp. Where am I? Then it feels as if I'm being lifted up and I can hear faint voices "Is she hurt?" "I don't know I need more light...I can see some blood coming from her arm and her head. I won't be able to see more until we get her back home." Blood why do I have blood on me then all of a sudden there was a sharp pain in my head. I cry out. "Your okay. It wil be okay" "Where am I?" I try to open my eyes. To find where the voice is coming from. "Shh, it's okay." The voice said again. Then the voices faded along with the light all I could see were a pair of green eyes staring down at me. I woke up in a bed where am I? There was a boy with a bowl and I hit it nocking the soup all over him "Who are you? What do you want with me?" I said while grabbing the fork from the tray by the bed "Nothing! My name is Zach." she flew at him with the fork he grabbed her around the waist "Let go of me" "only if you don't attack me again." "Fine, I won't." he let her go and she went at him again with the fork. This time he nocked her to the ground and he fell with her and landed on top of her "Get of me!" A man walked in the room "What is going on in here?" "Nothing dad it's just...that" "Yes?" "Well dad she tryed to stab me with a fork." "What?" "Yeah well I kinda don't treat people kindly who kidnap me!" "Oh I didn't do that." Then I looked at him he was beautiful he had green eyes a forest green but not quite and brownish black hair with red tints beautiful "Uhm Zachery you can get off the girl now" "Oh...oh yeah sorry" he said while getting up he helped me up then I felt a pain in my side and doubled over "Are you allright?" It was the boy who asked the question "My side it hurts" Then my vision started to get fuzzy "You need to get back in bed" He helped me in the bed and I fell asleep. What? Where am I? I got out of the bed and walked through the first door I see. I can hear faint voices so I follow them. I walk past a bathroom and a bedroom. Then a spot some stairs. When I look over the edge of the railing I see there's a man and a woman talking in a dining room. They saw me "Well good morning. It's good to see you up and about." What? I don't know them. Do I? "Do I know you?" "Well not really, we found you. Don't you remember?" "No I..." "Oh boy" I didn't notice another man walked in the room until he said that it startled me "What? Who are you?" "I'm Mick and it looks like we got something serious." "What?" "Tt looks like your in shock you'll probally regain what happened in a day or two." "What....what happened to me?" "Well I don't know we were hoping you'd tell us" The other man said "I...I don't know" "Ok will start with something simple whats your name?" "uh...I...I don't...I don't remember." "Ok well then this worse then I thought. Dad I think we need to talk ." I can't remember my name. whats wrong with me I know this, I know this. oh come on think think. Ugh my clothes are brown and red what is that? Is that blood? What in the world happened to me? I sure wish I knew or someone around me for that fact. The man and mick walked in the room again and mick kneeled down beside me "Well its seems like it might be longer until you remember what happened but we are gonna do everything in our power to find out who you are." "I just don't know whats wrong with me. I should know that stuff I mean its my name." Publication Date: October 19th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-lovebooks42

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-brittany-c-finney-a-billion-kisses/

Brittany C. Finney A Billion Kisses Enjoy Molly Lecture Just to start ya guys out, Hey, I'm Molly, I'm 15, WENT to Ridgewood high but now I'm going to stupid Emeralds in New York for my dad's job. Blow out the candles on March 18th. Ummm that's about it? I have blonde wavy hair and blue eyes. Turn on-Tall, handsome, brown hair, sweet guys Turn off-Short, Chubby(SORRY), black haired guys Ummm oh and-Wait why do you care? See ya<3 Publication Date: January 16th 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-beautybrittany24

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-melody-dupree-a-different-life-football-wife/

Melody DuPree A Different Life: Football Wife The Attack I had just gotten off of the phone with my friend Deanna when there was the sound of breaking glass and my blinds came off of the window. I stared into the face of my boyfriend and realized with a moment's hesitation that he had successfully found a way into my house. He grinned at me so maliciously that I turned and ran towards the living room while dialing 911. But to my dismay I could not get the front door open. My mom had locked me in a house by myself with no way out except through the back bedroom door and my way was blocked by a man who wanted nothing more than for me to have his baby. I grabbed the bottle of wine that my mother had put on the television stand and swung it around just right to where it caught him off guard and broke against his thick skull. It gave me deep satisfaction to know that I had caused that bloody wound on his head and that he probably wouldn’t mess with me now. But I was wrong. He grabbed me by my wrist and sent me sprawling to the ground. Then he proceeded to climb on top of me and do what he came to do. By the time he was done I was unconscious and had a deep cut going from my left temple to the bottom of my jaw. At least I had the satisfaction of knowing that I screamed help before I passed out. Just as I came around a key was inserted in the lock and I heard my brother’s voice say my name. “Michael,” I whimpered as he bent over to help me up. Just as he took my hand the front door slammed open and in swarmed the police. They pulled him away from me and called for an ambulance. I heard my brother protesting as he was led into another room away from the scene and my mother came in to find the police surrounding me. I don’t care what happened after that all I felt was pain all over my body and found that I could barely move my legs and that I was bleeding pretty badly. I heard the sirens blaring and turned my head to face my mom. She looked down at me with absolutely no pity in her eyes and I knew this would be the last time I returned to her house or stayed here alone with the damage that was done to her back bedroom window. In that moment I knew that all I could do was hope that I became pregnant and had a baby so I could get on welfare. Hell I would even welcome twins if it got me out of this house faster. Then the military police swarmed in followed by my grandparents. I laughed a weak laugh and then I heard more sirens blaring as an ambulance pulled up outside of the house. The paramedics rushed in and loaded me onto the stretcher and then placed me into the back of the ambulance. My grandparents made to climb in with me when my mom stopped them and climbed in herself. “They can come too,” I said and gestured for them to climb in. They got in the ambulance and my grandmother sat on the stretcher next to my feet and held my hand while my grandfather sat in the only other seat with a seatbelt. My grandfather took my other hand and rubbed soothing circles into the back of my hand as I started to cry. We got to the hospital and the Emergency Room staff immediately got me checked over and cleaned up. I refused to take the morning after pill and they settled me in for the night. When the police came in to check on me they pulled my mother out of the room and asked her a few questions. After that I heard her yelling and protesting as they gave my grandparents custody of me due to the knowledge my mother had that I was in danger and she did nothing to prevent it. I smiled at the fact that I had finally won and gotten what I always wanted and that was to be with my family. "Mimi can I ask you something," I said and she turned to face me. "What is it sweetie? You can ask me anything," she said even though the look in her eyes said that she already knew what I was going to ask her. "Why did you send me away," I whispered and she started to cry.  “Sweetheart we didn’t want to but when your father gave up his rights to you social services said we had no choice but to give you up,” my grandfather said to me. “That is what I always told people but no one wanted to believe me. They all said that no one ever wanted me not even my mother,” I whispered and finally I let the tears fall down my face. As the night turned into day I got a hold of a phone and called my school to tell them I would not be in today. When I hung up I noticed that my grandfather was at the doorway watching a scene unfold as none other than my now ex-boyfriend was wheeled into the emergency room on a stretcher. He was clearly unconscious and in the same clothes he had on the night before so my best guess was that he did not make it to his front door. I grabbed the phone and called his dad and immediately heard the same ringtone that his son had.  He picked up and the ringtone stopped and I said what I had to say then hung back up. “Papa come sit down. That is nothing you need to be worrying about,” I said and he came and sat back down. Just then Junior’s dad appeared in the doorway and looked at me with a contrite look on his face. I gestured for him to come inside and he came in and sat down on the opposite side of me from my grandparents. He reached for my hand and brushed my erratic hair out of my eyes. I smiled and let out a laugh that woke up my grandmother. “Melissa, who is this,” she asked me not liking the way our hands were entwined. “Sadly enough he is the father of my so called polite and well raised ex-boyfriend. He is the only one who probably won’t press charges against me for smashing that wine bottle against Junior’s thick skull,” I said. “No I won’t because I know that his blood was found on the remains of the wine bottle in your house and that alcohol was found in his bloodstream. And that your blood was found on a knife that was lying beside him on my front porch,” Senior said as he got a good look at the side of my face. “Wait a minute! You raised that monster,” my grandmother exclaimed. “Actually his mother did. Senior here was always travelling for his job. Therefore he wasn’t there to help raise his son. I fully vouch for him when I say that he would never raise his children to be disrespectful towards women,” I said. “Actually I want to transfer his trust fund to you so you have some money to help take care of yourself. I don’t want you to go through the pain of having a child you are not going to want to be around. Therefore I am willing to pay any medical expenses you have and will have in the near future,” Senior said and I looked at him like he was crazy. "I have no intention of having an abortion. I am not a killer and I won't start now," I said. “I was just trying to say you could give the baby up for adoption if you wanted to,” he said and I immediately shook my head. “Okay, I wasn’t sure what you wanted to do but now I am,” he said with a smile. Just then a nurse came into the room and asked to speak with my grandparents and me in private. My grandparents agreed and Senior left the room to go check on his son. That was the last time I saw him for the rest of the day. The Unwanted Attention Just as I was getting ready to leave with my grandparents I was immediately surrounded by news reporters and cameras just because the word had gotten out that I had been attacked by a star football player’s son. I pushed through them and met Senior at the door of his son’s room. As I hugged him goodbye I heard cameras go off and Senior wrote down the account number for me to access my new bank account and I left to face the rest of the world. At the end of the day I had been changed and at the end of the week when Junior came around he would be served with a restraining order. I walked down the hall and out to my grandparent’s car which had a recreational vehicle attached to it. My grandmother and I got into the RV and my grandfather pulled out of the parking lot. My grandmother showed me to the upstairs floor of the RV and I found that all of my stuff had already been picked up. “Mimi, does my dad still want to be a part of my life,” I asked and she nodded. “He loves you very much and he wants to see you again,” she replied and I nodded.  I let a smile come forth and I sat down on the comfortable bed with my grandmother for the rest of the ride until she had to switch with my grandfather. I sat on the bed and looked out the window as we travelled farther and farther away from the last home I had ever known. As we got closer to Texas I let my eyes drift closed and I went to sleep curled up on top of the comfortable blankets. I don’t know how long I was asleep but when I woke up we were in Arizona already. I got up and walked down the staircase to find that my grandmother was making breakfast for me but the smells of the bacon threw my stomach into disarray. “Mimi, I don’t feel so good,” I murmured and she came over and felt my forehead. “Well you don’t have a fever so it must be motion sickness from the swaying of the RV,” she said and I sat down at the kitchen table. The moment I sat down the stomach ache went away and I was able to eat the wonderful fat filled breakfast that my grandmother made for me. Just then the RV turned and pulled to a stop in front of the house I would be living in until I got my own apartment. A man with short brown hair walked out of the house and walked around the back of the RV until he came to the door. He climbed the steps and stopped when he saw me staring out the window just opposite the kitchen table. “Mom can I speak with you for a second,” he asked and my grandmother nodded. They walked upstairs and then it sounded like the man exploded. “THE BASTARD DID WHAT AND SHE’S KEEPING HIS WHAT,” he screamed and I shook my head happy to know that I had just given my dad a mini heartattack. He stormed back down the stairs and stopped behind me but I just continued to stare out the kitchen window at the house I hadn’t seen since I was six years old. I smiled at the memory of a mixed breed dog and got up and walked around my dad like he wasn’t even there. I walked back up the stairs and put the ointment the hospital had given me on the cut and sat on the bed to look out the window. My dad had followed me up to the second floor and was now staring at me expecting me to look at him. “You are staring at me for what reason,” I asked without looking away from the window. “I want you to look at me so I can give you a piece of my mind at what I think you are going to do if you get pregnant before three months are up,” he said and I let out a sigh. “I am not a killer and I won’t start now. I am going to love this child with all of my heart, mind, and soul. He will have whatever he needs and wants because I will be there for him, unlike the people I used to know that I once called family,” the last part was whispered and he came over to me and wrapped his arms around me. I turned around in his arms and wrapped my arms around him and let the tears stream down my face as I silently cried. He sat down next to me and held me a little closer to calm me down and ran his hands through my hair. I cried myself to sleep and when I woke up it was dark outside. I sat up and looked around before I realized I wasn’t alone in the room. I scrambled out of the bed and to the door before I got knocked to the ground. I lashed out and managed to connect with the man’s equipment and I sent him to his knees. I got up and turned on the light to find Junior and his brother Raleigh in the RV with me. “I hope you know I can have you both arrested for breaking and entering and attempted assault and battery, right,” I said and Raleigh looked at me wide-eyed. “Actually no you can’t,” Junior rasped out while clutching at his equipment. “Where did you hear that Junior,” I asked just as my dad arrived with a frying pan. He took in the fact that the man in front of me was on his knees clutching his equipment and looked at me wide-eyed. I nodded and he tossed the frying pan on the bed and moved to sit down on the bed when Raleigh spoke. “Our father is in the bathroom downstairs. We are protected because we had permission to come in here from someone who was half asleep downstairs on that nice and soft sofa. If we had not gotten that person’s permission we would have left. Junior is just being a dick and wants to land himself in a nice, cozy jail cell,” Raleigh said and I raised an eyebrow. “Okay why isn’t your dad not up here with you because I know my daughter has a restraining order against one of you boys,” my dad said and I nodded in agreement. “I do have a restraining order against the one on his knees so he really shouldn’t be here,” I said and my dad looked at me and Junior. My dad noticed the cut on his head and swore as he noticed it was the same cut I had just on the opposite side of his face from mine. I heard footsteps on the stairs and moved out of the way so Senior could come into the room and take stock of the damage done to his son. I sat down on the bed next to my dad and laid my head on his shoulder. Then I noticed the package on the bedside table. I picked it up and shook it and when nothing bad happened I tore off the paper and stared at the intricate and antique jewel encrusted box. I opened it and found a beautiful diamond ring that also had to be antique. The ring was set with diamond’s and turquoise stones and when I put it on it fit my finger perfectly. “The ring was my great-great-grandmother’s and since you are eighteen in three minutes I thought now would be as good a time as any to give you the ring,” Senior said and I smiled. “So let me guess it’s also an engagement ring isn’t it,” I asked and he nodded sheepishly. “Whoa, wait a minute! My daughter is too young to be getting married. She hasn’t even gone to college yet,” my dad said sending me into a fit of giggles. “According to laws in her home state she is old enough to make decisions for herself and if she wants to take me up on the offer she can. I am more than willing to pay for her to go to college and take care of the child that she has with my idiot of a son. I will also pay for her expenses such as bills and food. She will not have to ask for anything because she will have the best of everything,” Senior said and I stared at him wide-eyed.   “I wouldn’t have to ask for anything ,” I asked in disbelief. “Not a single thing,” he said and I smiled. “I wouldn’t mind marriage,” I said and Raleigh smiled. “Oh I should warn you that my youngest three are the resident pranksters. If you’re missing anything like makeup the girls are most likely using it on the boys,” Senior said, and I laughed. I got up and placed the jewel encrusted box in a small box that I kept locked and I turned to Senior with a small smile playing at my lips. I looked towards Junior and an even bigger smile came to life on my face. Senior looked at the smile on my face and his eyes went wide. “No you cannot treat him like a slave. You can do that only when he comes home and says that he is on the Patriots or even worse the Cowboys. Only when I disown him can you treat him like that,” Senior said and I sighed. “That’s not why I was smiling,” I said and he looked at me confused. “I was smiling because I found a problem in the family dynamic,” I said and cracked up. “Uh-oh,” my dad said and busted out laughing as well. “What is the problem in the family dynamic,” Junior asked. “Stepmom/ Junior’s baby momma,” I said and Junior looked at his dad in horror before looking at me and he busted out laughing. “You’re going to be my new mom,” Junior asked between laughs. “It seems like it and I am a year younger than you so it is a lot easier for me to get along with teenagers,” I said. “Does that mean I could get away with whatever I do wrong,” Raleigh asked me with a hopeful smile on his face. I shook my head and his lower lip slipped into a pout as his father turned to stare at him with an incredulous look on his face. I turned to my father and gestured at my things clearly at a loss for how I was going to transport them with me back to Senior’s house. He shrugged and got up and left the room and I sighed and sat down on the bed in frustration. “What’s wrong,” Senior asked me and I shook my head. “I have so much crap that I would have to take the RV back to your house and unload it and bring it back here without a scratch on it,” I said and my dad came back inside the room. “My parent’s said the RV is hers and if she wants to leave she can leave. She is eighteen now after all,” my dad said. I hugged my dad and left the RV for a few minutes to say goodbye to my grandparents as well as a quick thank you for them coming in with the military. I hugged them both and patted the dog’s head and turned to leave the house when there was a soft yapping sound coming from the kitchen area. I walked over to the kitchen and my heart broke at the sight of the little white puppy that was standing behind the doggy gate. I picked him up and rubbed behind his ears and he quieted down. “You can have him if you want. He was the runt of the litter and no one wanted him because he has yet to gain his spots like the rest of the litter,” my grandmother said and I smiled. “Thanks Mimi. I will take good care of him,” I said and she nodded. I turned around and my grandfather followed me out with some soft dog food and a bag of hard dog food and a bowl. I held the RV door open for him and he set the supplies down on the table and my new fiancé came down the stairs to see what was going on. I held out the puppy for him to see and he smiled at me with an encouraging smile. After my grandfather left the RV I went upstairs and laid down on my bed with the puppy in my arms. My dad came upstairs one last time and gave me an address book. I opened it and found the phone number for my family and the address so I would never have to do an internet search to get the address. I hugged my dad one last time and I watched from the window as my dad went inside the house. After that Senior pulled away from the curb and I went downstairs to see if the boys were following in a car. But they were sitting on the sofa looking depressed until they saw the puppy in my arms and they started to smile. I couldn’t wait until we got to Senior’s house in Florida and I became the new Mrs. Johnson. The Fight At a quarter to midnight I went back upstairs and went to sleep as we crossed the New Mexico border into Texas. I had just fallen asleep when the RV made a sharp turn and I fell off of the bed with a thud. I laid there for a few seconds assessing the damage and the RV came to a stop and the motor was turned off. I heard footsteps on the stairs and Raleigh poked his head into the room. He took in the fact that I wasn’t moving and hollered for his dad who came running up the stairs in a rush. “I think you killed her, dad,” Raleigh said and he shook his head. “You fell off of the bed when Junior made that turn didn’t you,” he asked me and I nodded. Senior came over to me and helped me up and hollered for Junior to get the RV moving again. The motor roared to life and we pulled away from where we were parked and then I realized we were in a stadium parking lot. I shook my head and stifled a yawn but Senior caught it and ushered me back to bed. I pulled the covers up over my head and curled up into a ball. Just as I was about to go to sleep I realized I was missing something. I got up and went to the box labeled bedding and opened it and found what I was looking for on the top of the pile. I picked up the Ravens throw blanket and walked back over to the bed to see Senior in the doorway looking at me in confusion. “I don’t know how I was able to sleep without this blanket because I am significantly attached to it and if anything happened to it I would be devastated,” I explained holding up the blanket for him to see. He nodded with a smile and came over to me. He wrapped me in his arms and sat down on the bed. He pulled me down on to his lap and held me in a tight embrace as I realized I was engaged to him and that there was a possibility that I would have his son’s child. I thought it through and figured that if Junior didn’t want the child then I would give him or her up for adoption. I silently promised that it would be an open adoption and that I would spend as much time with my child as possible. “What if Junior doesn’t want the child, Mel? What are you going to do then,” Senior asked me. “I am going to give him up for adoption and still be a part of his life. I will visit him. I will go to his birthday parties and I will make sure he plays football and knows who his dad’s family is. I will always be there for him,” I whispered and sighed silently. “I think that that is a wonderful idea, sweetheart,” Senior said and I smiled. “You really think it’s a good idea,” I asked looking up at him. He smiled and nodded and I pressed a kiss to his lips as he leaned his head down towards mine. I pulled back and he laughed. Just then we hit another sharp turn and we were both thrown to the floor. I cracked my head against the floor and muttered something unintelligible that wasn’t very nice and I got up off of the floor. I stormed down the stairs and into the cab and smacked Junior upside his head. “What was that for,” he asked not looking at me. “For throwing me off of the bed for the second time tonight. It is pissing me off and if you don’t stop hitting these turns at the last second you are not going to like me,” I ranted. He muttered something that sounded strangely like, “I don’t like you now,” and he jerked on the steering wheel just in time to reach the exit. “What was that? Because it sounded like you just said you don’t like me right now,” I said sitting myself down in the passenger seat. He pulled the RV over and looked at me with tears in his eyes. When he spoke his voice and words radiated the pain and anger he was feeling. “You were supposed to marry me but no my dad gives you a nice antique ring and you say yes to his proposal. But when I asked you six weeks ago you weren’t ready to get married. You said you wanted to go to college and get a degree in journalism before you got married. But the moment my dad asks you to marry him you say yes like a little girl when she’s asked if she wants chocolate on Valentine’s Day and it hurts because it makes me feel like you started going out with me to get close to my dad,” he said and I shook my head. “I started going out with you because you were the only one who was kind to me when I started going to public school. All my life I have been picked on and abused. For once I had finally found a friend but then I found out you weren’t who you said you were. You lied about who your dad was and what sport you played. It seemed like all of the walls I had around my heart that were slowly crumbling were being built right back up to protect myself. I went on high alert because your dad could have said I was harassing his family and filed a restraining order against me. I still wanted to be friends with you but I was hesitant and the answer I said to your marriage proposal was given because your dad had already asked me and I told him I had to think about it,” I said and he shook with suppressed sobs. “I don’t know how I didn’t see it before. The way you spoke about my dad before you even met him was with love and adoration. All you wanted to do was meet my dad. I guess I never really wanted to believe that you loved someone you barely knew more than you loved me,” he said and got up and moved in to the open space of the RV. I got up and walked up behind him quietly turning him to face me. He looked at my face and shook his head and walked away from me. I turned around and went back to the front and locked down the RV’s doors. No one could get in or out while this lock was on. I stayed by the trigger and sat down in the driver’s seat so Junior couldn’t get to it and I waited for him to come back over to the cab so we could get moving again. Just then I heard a snore come from the direction of the couch and I looked over to find Junior fast asleep on the couch. I sighed and buckled up quietly putting the RV in drive. I gently pressed down on the gas pedal and turned the steering wheel ever so slightly to get back into moving traffic. A few minutes into the drive Senior came downstairs and entered the cab to find me driving the RV. “Do you even have a license to drive anything but a bike,” he asked and I shook my head. “No I don’t and that is the reason we are moving so slowly. Now just tell me which exit to take to get to your house,” I said and he pointed to the next one that was marked exit 129b Baltimore. I pulled over to the exit and got off before I pulled into a gas station parking lot to switch places with Senior. Once we had switched places I went upstairs to go to sleep and I promptly fell into my bed and went to sleep. As the day progressed I drifted in and out of my dream world where I was comfortable and at peace with myself. At half past noon there was a knock on my bedroom door and the gentle sound of my name being called. I opened my eyes and groaned before closing them again and going back to sleep. I slept until I could sleep no more. Then at six o'clock the next morning there came the sound of my name being called and I sat bolt upright because that was not Senior's voice calling out to me and the person was inside the room with me. I looked around and caught a shadow of a person moving in the corner of the room just opposite from my bed. I jumped out of my bed and scrambled to the door way but before I got there I was knocked to the ground. "I bet you thought I would willingly call you mom didn't you," Junior sneered looking down at me with nothing but venom in his expression. I grabbed his wrist as he bent over to yank me up and sent him sprawling to the ground behind me. i quickly got to the other side of the room and called for Senior  through the intercom that was in my room. Junior came up behind me and pulled me to him while holding a knife to my throat. "One word, one sound and you die do you understand me," he hissed venomously into my ear and I nodded. Just then Senior came running into the room and slapping Junior’s hand away from my neck he knocked the knife out of Junior’s hand. I grabbed onto Senior and held onto him tighter than anything just like my life depended on it. Senior grabbed Junior and dragged him down the stairs before taking off his belt and beating Junior with it. I ran down the stairs and tackled Senior with all of my might ultimately pushing him farther away from Junior than I had planned. Senior rounded on me and pushed me to the ground with enough force that it took my breath away. I climbed to my feet and took off for the stairs and bolted my bedroom door shut behind me. I heard footsteps on the stairs and then a light tapping sound on the door. As I came closer to the bed I heard crying downstairs and a light continuous tapping on my bedroom door. “Mel let me in. I promise I won’t hurt you baby girl. Please let me in,” Senior’s voice called through the door. I walked slowly towards the door and turned the lock before I took three steps back and ran towards my bed. I climbed underneath the covers and went back to sleep just as Senior came back inside the bedroom. He climbed into the bed and pulled me into his loving embrace and held me even tighter as I struggled to break free from his grasp. I kicked and squirmed and burst into tears as he continued to hold me to him.     Publication Date: November 28th 2016 https://www.bookrix.com/-bellacullen830

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-marissa-romero-my-gangs/

Marissa Romero MY GANGS THE MEMBERS Have you ever been in a gang? I’m in two. We thought of all kinds of names, and we picked one. I picked Sadgyrl because I’m always sad. My life was changed as soon as I got my name. There are sixteen members in MI VIDA LOCA. The other gang I’m in is New Generation. That was my boy friends gang. His name is Wicked. Well his real name is Travis, but we all just call him Wicked. He made the gang to help us stay together. It didn't work though. OK so these are the members in MI VIDA LOCA. These are some things you need to know about them,too. DJ (BRODY)=He is also in new generations. He is one of my ex boy friends. He moved to Wyoming last year. His best friend was Joseph. JJ (Joseph)= He is also in new generations. He is one of my ex boy friends. He is home schooled, and is suppose to move to Connecticut. His best friend is Brody. Shadow (Clarissa)= She is also in new generations. Shadow is my sister. She loves JJ and wicked. Her best friend is Bobby. she's dating Jokerbyrd. Wicked (Travis)= He's the leader of new generations. He is one of my ex boy friends. He is suppose to move to Wilcox. His best friend is me, Shadow, and Jokerbyrd. Giggles (Hannah)= She's isn't really my friend anymore. She's in sixth grade and I’m in seventh. We don't get to see each other. Jokerbyrd (Daniel)= He is also in new generations. He is shadows by friend. He is my friend too. He loves shadow more then anything. Whisper (Becca)= Rebecca dated JJ, Wicked, and Jokerbyrd. She doesn’t really talk to me anymore. She's in sixth grade. Zombie(Joseph Santos)=he is a jerk now. we don't talk anymore. we don't get along anymore. Mousie (Lise) = We still talk. shes one of my friends. She is a good friend. Snoopy(Chris)= He is one of my ex boy friends. we sat together when we were dating. we don't talk anymore. Devil/Skunk (Brooke)= She moved. i don't know where. we kinda go in to a little fight before she moved. Creeper (Gavin)= He is my cousin. he is so annoying. we fight all the time. Casual Dreamer (Nicole)= She's my bestfriend. We've known eachother since we were little. Sleepy (Jordan)= He's a stupid ass. he is one of my ex boy friends. he doesn’t like me anymore. we don't really talk anymore. Sadgyrl (Marissa)= I’m shadow's sister. I’ve dated DJ, JJ, Wicked, Jokerbyrd, Sleepy, and Snoopy. right now I’m dating Chris so that's how i got into the gangs. those are some of the members in the gangs. there are more,but I don't know their names. thanks for reading my book. hit me up and let me know what you thought. let me know if you wanna know more about the gangs. Text: 22 Images: 22 Editing: 22 Translation: 22 All rights reserved. Publication Date: February 11th 2014 https://www.bookrix.com/-sadgyrl123

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-daniel-hernandez-love-2-lead/

Daniel Hernandez Love 2 Lead Publication Date: November 24th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-danie6611

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-e-s-roselyne-039-s-life/

E.S Roselyne's Life True Story Part I Her Life Begins.. She opened her eyes,she didnt knew anything. She was a beautiful creature,like a Fairy,no one knew that her life will be a Chaos. Her mother was happy even if her life was ruined too,after several days spent in hospital her mother wanted to go home together with Roselyne,but..She had a weird feeling,she hoped that everything will be all right.They were some steps away from their house and there she is.. Black haired woman,with a strange look and angry she grab Roselyne's mother hand and said: What are you thinking? I know what you are thinking,this child is borned and everything is okay? You are lying yourself this child is our,not yours give it to me! Roselynes mother was scared didnt knew what to do,she had pain in her heart and in her stomach too,she just gived a birth no one was there to help her,to take away this black haired woman that wanted to take away her child. Roselynes mother: What do You want from me?I did all the things that You told me to do,you cant take away my baby you will take my baby when I will die! She pushed away the black haired woman and get into the house,her body was shaking,the black haired woman after some hours was gone.. Roselynes mother needed a job , money , to rise her little girl she had no hope , no friends , she didn't knew what to do but she had little bit luck,after two days came Roselynes grandmother in Town,she was good hearted woman but in mind hypocritical she had green eyes and she had a lot of money,she could buy anything that her heart desires,because she worked hard in her boutiques,she helped them 4 years,when Roselyne was 4 years old her mother decided to go in another land away from her daughter and her mother because she wanted to make more money to make a good life for Roselyne,but Roselynes mother was caught by the police in Switzerland while she wanted to work in black like a cleaning woman and because she stoled things for her daughter she went in jail 5 years, while Roselynes grandmother was enyoying everyday with her grandchild,Roselyne didnt knew that her mother is in Jail,she thought that her grandmother is her mother,because her grandmother lied to her... Roselyne began to go to school,and met new friends,her mother tried to call her but Roselynes grandmother didn't want to,she changed her number and Roselynes mother could not come home because she tried to escape from jail to see her daughter they continued her punishment 3 years more,she had just one picture of her daughter and cried day and night looking at her daughters face,the more she was away from her daughter the more she was disapointed of life.. One day Roselynes grandmother and Roselyne went for walking Roselyne was happy she didn't knew what the true is,they went to Roselynes maternal uncles to see them,they wanted to tell everything to Roselyne but she was so young just 9 years old she was so innocent they couldnt speak a word..Her grandmother was obsessed with Roselyne that she had forgotten her own daughter. And so the years passed quikly Roselyne was 11 years old,her mother was supposed to stay one more year in jail and then she would be free..she waited so long time she accepted to stay one more year she hoped that she would see her daughter again after 8 years, she missed her voice that she never heard,the face that she never saw her own Angel. Roselyne and her grandmother moved into another appartment in the first floor because her grandmother was getting older,Roselyne baught her new room furniture,in pink color she was happy just like another children,small,naive but also a smart girl,she asked her mother(grandmother)to go out to find a new friend in her new neighborhood to play with,this was Roselynes firt mistake in her life and she admits:I swear to God if I knew what kind of a trap is waiting for me there I would never go there.She went out she was holding her favourite thing in her hand,her dancing rope, she saw a girl that she was sitting alone she went closer to talk to her. Roselyne:Why you are sitting alone? Janet:I like to sit alone.. Janet was a girl who was evil girl,she wanted to be the best,and she had no friends she was 16 years old. Roselyne:My name is Roselyne.. Janet:And My name is Janet!she said it in agressive version Roselyne:Why you are so..like this? Janet:If you dont like it go away! Roselyne was disapointed she was sad she turned around and wanted to go home but Janet had an idea and she thaught that Roselyne will be perfect for her..... They played all day long together then her grandmother called Roselyne to go home she went home,and she just couldnt stop talking about Janet how good she is and so much more,her grandmother was happy for her grandchild that she found a new friend. Janet waited some weeks to be best friend with Roselyne and then to realise her evil plan and one day... Janet:Rose look there,there are they,they are all so handsome.. Roselyne:... Janet:What do you think?? Roselyne:I dont know, I dont understand that kind of stuff.. Janet:Wait..Dont tell me that you havent had a boyfriend before?? Roselyne:No!of course not..I am not like you I am small my mother says that girls have boyfriends when they are old enough..I am not old enough..Iam still 11! Janet:O honey you are old enough you are beautiful and so nice,I know girl that they have had boyfriends with 10 years old! Roselyne:Really?I dont know.. Janet:Yes of course,who is more handsome tell me,i will speak with him maybe you too can have a date.. Roselyne:Oh..Uh..I dont know what do you think?! Janet:I think that all of them are handsome...... Roselyne:Yes i think that too.... Roselyne was naive,small,Janet was like an example for her she thought that Janet is smart,know what she is doing,and her best friend like a sister she didnt knew Janets plans,she could not recognise how is when somebody doesnt want your happines... The guys that Janet was talking about,they were 6 guys,good looking young guys 14,15,16 years old. Janet knew them all. Janet:I think that the one with blue eyes will be your first boyfriend his name is Vince he is 15 years old what do you think Rose? Roselyne:No,I dont know I think I will go home.. Janet:No Roselyne!Stop being a child you are a big girl now,believe me i dont want to hurt you,remember I am your best friend?I will call him here to represent you.. Roselyne:All right.. Janet:Hey Vince come one here. Vince:Hey Janet is everything ok? Janet:Yes I wanted to show you my best friend Roselyne she likes you! Roselyne:Janet what?No..uh..I mean..I didnt say that.. Vince:Thats ok ( he laughs ) My name is Vince Roselyne:Hi I am Roselyne.. Vince:I kinda like you do you have time to walk with me? Janet:Thats my boy ( she laughs ) Roselyne:I dont think so I must go home.. Vince:Come on I dont bite! Janent:(whispers in Roselynes ear)He wont bite you just go.. Roselyne:Ok... Publication Date: April 20th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-faylinn

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-jada-woods-were-do-i-go-from-here/

Jada Woods Were Do I Go From Here..... Part One Intro Hello , Readers let me start off by saying my name is Sarah Mcknight.Im 15 Years Old years old and I go to North View High School and i'm in the 10th grade. My Boyfriend Isaac Clark on the other hand is 17 and he a senior. I Have one little sister Jasmine , 12 . Isaac Has one sibling and thats his sister Sasha , 15. We met 3 years ago in a coffee shop and ever since i met him my life has changed a whole lot. My mom Mary doesnt like Isaac but I dont care what she has to say about him he is my first and my last love. Chapter 1 : " I love you " I said " I love you to " Later on that day ... " Bye sleep well" I told him " I will thanks you do the same beautiful" he responded I closed the and ran to the window and watched him drive off after he was gone I went upstairs to my room. I went to take a shower while mom was cooking dinner " yum!" I thought. After the shower I put pajamas on and went downstairs to eat " Sarah can you fetch me the forks from the kitchen please" mom asked " sure" I responded . As I walked into the kitchen there was a bouqet of flowers with my name on it I screamed with excitement . The card on the vase read " Dear sarah the love of my life , I love you with all my heart , your the most beautiful girl I've ever known , would you please be my date to my prom? " "YES YES YES I WOULD LOVE TO!" I screamed out . Mom and the kids laughed at me. After dinner which was delicious I went to my room and called Isaac " Hello " " Hay Babe I just anted to let you know Im so happy about being your prom date woot woot " I said laughing " great well um babe we both have school tommorow so i'll swing by in the morning to get you ok? " he responded " No problem babe good night " I answered " Nite" he said. Chapter 2 : ' The Next Day ' I wake to the sound of my alarm clocking buzzing , I get out bed head to the bathroom to shower and brush my teeth. After I finished doing that I put on a sky blue tank top with a white v- neck over it and some classic blue jeans and my sky blue rain boots " Ugh I hate rainy days" I yell out loud . I go to my vanity dresser and put some sky blue eyeshadow on and replace my purple lip piercing with a sky blue one. " Sarah breakfasts ready" Jasmine yells "Coming" I respond . After breakfast I grab my sweater because its chilly out and grab my umbrella and run outside to find Isaac standing with the passenger door open " Such a gentleman" I say " You know it" he responds. The car ride was awfully silent except for the radio. Chapter 3 : " About 2 Months Later" I Jump out of bed and run to the bathroom and puke in the toilet about 5 times " MOM!!!" I yell . I hear her and jasmine running to my room as I am slouched on the floor leaning against the toilet. " Hun what happened" mom asks " I have no clue" I say while crying " We should get her to the hospital " jasmine suggests. " True " Mom says " Jazzy go get me some sweat pants and a shirt " I say realizing im in my bra and panties. " No problem" she says. So after we all get dress I call Isaac and he is gonna meet us there. " Mom what time is it ? " I ask " 5:30 in the morning hun you dont worry about what time it is just relax" " ok " I say drifting to sleep. " Hun were at the hospital" mom says " Huh, oh okay" I say still sleep. Once We get into the hospital and mom fill out some forms they take me to a room and exam me. " Ok Ms.Mcknight we ran some test on your daughter and it turns out she is 3 months pregnant congrats" The doctor says stepping in the hallway " " Im gonna be a aunty yay" Jasmine says very happily "OMG I wanted to be a grandma but just not this early" moms says. Im still speechless I say to my self. the doctor walks back in Sarah your next appointment is next month on the 1st. Chapter 4: One Month Later I get out of bed around 8:30 and get ready for my doctors appointment and plus mom is taking me shopping for the baby also today I find out what im having and how many . So since im with child mom went and bought me some maternity clothes. So I shower and get ready and go down stairs and the smell of pancakes make me wanna puke " Mom Please Can We Go" I demand "Sure" she says knowing that when our pregnant you can be very rude like me " Weres Isaac?" she akses " Gone he wants nothing to do with me or my child!" i respond " wow " she says. Once we arrive at the doctors office we sit for about 10 minutes before They call Me " Srah M." The nurse calls " thats me" I say getting up. Once were in the room the doctor goes " im gonna give you a sonogram ok ? " " ok" I say . Moments Later The Doctor Says "Sarah Your Having Not One Daughter But Two Congrats" " Wow Im So Happy I Dont Know What To say" I say " Thanks" I add . After Were Done We Go Furniture Shopping For My Girls And From There We Headed Home And I Went And Set There Room And Went To Sleep AFter. Chapter 5 : Birth So I wake to feel that my water broke " MOM ITS TIME ONG OMG OMG ITS TIME!!!!!!!!" I Scream " Omg Ok Get Your bag lets go" She says . Once we arrive at the hospital they send me to labor and delivering And I finally after 15 hours give birth to two beautifulbaby girls Chloe And Zoe. Ending: Mom and I fight alot she kicked me out the babys dad isnt here no more now i Sarah Mcknight Is 16 with A Set aof twins with no one to go to no were to turn Where Will I Go From Here...... Publication Date: September 6th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-mzwoodz98

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-arianna-bivens-and-nia-benoit-the-third-wheel/

Arianna Bivens and Nia Benoit The Third Wheel To all the kids who helped Arianna and I get the book through in the first place. Love y'all! Chapter 1 "Found it," I whispered to myself looking at the bland gray door, that leads to my new class. I looked around at the half empty hallways trying to spot a familiar face anywhere, but I was alone...for now.The hallways looked like they could go on forever, full of colorful paintings of students past. Boarding school isn't as bad as you might think. A huddle of girls, in the corner of the hallway, with long hair, but short skirts, looked my way and gave me a sneer of- what was that... jealousy? I am not modest, but i didn't think of myself to make someone, as pretty as her, jealous. I looked down at my clothes, checking my outfit: a pair of purple Ugs up to my knees, pink jeggings, a short P.H.K dress, with a sleeveless lace sweater. Maybe a little to much cleavage, but, hey, I don't tell my boobs what to do. I wear pink and purple to show off my tan and a spiked bob, full in the front short cut in the back. Being born with hair the color of the blonde hair and tan.The color also makes my eyes look huge and blue. I gave the girl a sneer back that was so cold I could of made it snow. Just then I saw a familiar blur of long brown hair was moving toward me at a dangerous speed towards me. "Alasha! Hey girl!," It shouted to me. A short bundle of fabric threw itself at me in a big hug. The girl is small, but she has enough strength to flip over a car if she wanted to. "Oh God!Hey Alicia! Glad you made it," I said, in a strangled voice, trying to pry her off of me. "Yeah, so how you been?" She asked, smoothing down her waist- length hair. She reminded me of Angelina Jolie ,without the plump lips and with longer hair. Maybe the teenage version? "Great. Lays birthday party was rad wasn't it? Mom finally got her a bra of her own. So I get mine when I need 'em. Other than that, I'm fine. How 'bout you?" I asked, opening the door to the classroom. My sisters party was- I can not even explain it. It was at this club called Kaboom! There were booze, drunkenness, dancing, throwing up, and then more drinking. Some people threw up while they danced. Did I mention my sister just turned eighteen and my mom is the layed back 'you- don't- get- up- in- my- business- I- don't- get- up- in- yours' kind of mom. Alicia blushed, and looked to the ground. I knew what was coming. It was a boy. "Good. I had met this boy at the party. You remember when we were drunk and the really cute guy drove us home. Now that I think about it, that was a stupid idea. He could have been a creep. You know; a creepy dude, Saturday night, two drunk hotties." She explained, twirling her hair around her baby finger, and biting her bottom lip. Of course, I remembered him. The son of a- "Hello? You listening to me?" She asked, shaking me out of my thought. "Uh, Yeah what was his name?" I asked, pretending to be clueless. "Brandon McCeeton." She sighed dreamily. I think back to when I first met Brandon. At first we were alright but then he... changed. Yes I know you're all wondering, "Did she go out with him?!" Yes I did. Gasp! Biggest mistake of my life. Especially when I never told her we were going out. How terrible would she feel if she knew she was going out with my ex- boyfriend? If it was me, I would feel terrible. Not the kind of person I am, so I played stupid. "I think I have seen him before. Name sounds familiar. What does he look like?" I asked taking a seat, eyeing the young teacher, who was eyeing me back, and gave him a cute smile. "He is the hottest hunk of man I have ever seen! He has blonde hair that does this little curly thing near his ears, and his eyes look like melted honey. He has this cute little mole near his nose and his abs...," She started. I knew to stop listening, whenever she started talking about the abs, she gives you a whole speech. I love the girl, but sometimes I wish she had a mute button. I turned my head and some son of a clam shel came up behind Alicia. I was about to spring into action when a pair of tan arms wrapped around her waist. She swqueeled and then giggled. What the ham! If someone did that to me, preferably a guy, someone is loseing balls. "Hey frauline." He said. She looked up and gave hi a kiss on the cheek. "Hey sweetheart. How is your day going so far?" She asked and turned to give hime her trademark bear hug. I snorted a laugh and he looked up and smile,d struggling to get out out of her hug. He did a once over and his body stiffened as realization sparked his eyes. I blushed as his eyes stopped a little to long looking at my chest. "Ah, so who's your friend?" He asked, when I gave him a glance that would have scared someone stupid. He played along at the stranger bit, hoping it would fool Alicia. Or did he really not recognize me? "Oh, that's Alasha, my bf. Alasha this is Brandon." She joker- smiled at me and then added,"of course." Wow either we're great actors or she is to love blind to see through our facade. Brandon looked at me, or through me, and smiled. I practically saw the magnets of his thoughts trying to make a connection to my face. "You mean Ariela Alashana Montelago Oulette?" He asked smiling. I stole a quick glance at Alicia, who was smiling like a love struck fool. Poor thing. "Uh, yeah. We went to my last school together. And I prefer Alasha though. Nice to see you again." I said lying through my teeth, with an edge in my voice, telling him to watch what he says. Only a handful of people, actually the people closest to me know my whole name. Brandon winked at me and I do the unthinkable: I blush. Ain't life grand? "Yeah? Well how have you been?" He asks crossing his arms, seeing that he got the best of me. "Small world isn't it?" He asks enjoying my nervousness. Yeah, I thought, but a little to small. "I've been goo. Great!" I say, as nervous as ham on a skillet. Just then the bell rang and a whole bunch of people filled out of the classroom. When had they gotten in here? "Anyway," Brandon sighed putting his hands in the back pockets of Alicia's silky angel pants,"You ready for breakfast?" He asked not wasting a glance at me, looking down at Alicia. "Yeah, see you later Lasha." Alicia said, hinting that she wanted alone time with Brandon. WTH(What The Ham)!? What about our Breakfast/Lunch/Dinner arrangement: all ways together? I fealt the lump in my throat that I only fealt when watching Titaniic . "Okay, sure." I tried a laugh, but it came out a gurgle though they didn't seem to notice. "Bye love birds." They walked away and Brandon looked back at me. Want was plain out on his face. Oh shursh. Chapter 2 I looked around in the cafe, for a table, and found one next to some really cute guys. Sorry, let me fill you in: The cafe is a huge duplicate of the one at the town center mall in Georgia. The place is huge. Different varieties of food and an Italian sampling plate calling my name. I totes love this boarding school! Do what I want when I want,that's what's up. I walked over to the sampler, and eventually ended being an Italian for these forty- five minutes of lunch. I sashayed my hips, walking toward the table I had spotted out earlier, hearing the chatter at the guy's table. As I walked past the chatter completely stopped. I smiled to myself. I know, I know; it's hot when a girl does that, but picture a guy doing that. That is, as Rob Dyrdek would say,"Ridiculousness in training." Not extreme, but just wrong. I sat down at the table across from theirs, feeling them giving me the once over. One guy stood up like he was going to come sit with me but sat down after making eye contact with the someone standing behind me. "Ahem!", A voice coughed from behind me. I didn't even have to turn around to know something was about to go down. Turning around I stood up and looked The pchick in the eye and smiled a sugary sweet smile. It was the blonde who had given me the look in the hallway. She looked taken aback for a moment, but composed herself to a stone hard look, taking its place. "Can I help you?" I asked, still smiling. "Yeah, that's our table and we're gonna need it back, thank you." She said glaring at me with a rich girl atitude. Thats how they all are. Bump them down a notch is what you have to do. Two could play at this game. "Well I am sitting here today. So if you want to sit down, you can or you can go sit somewhere else," I said sitting bback down. Do not know who she thinks she is. "Ok, then," She said rolling her eyes, losing the mean girl demeanor in her voice."Fine." "J, T, P? Sit." She commanded, to the girls behind her. Her posse I assume. All of them had matching poutfits, except for the polo shirts' breast pockets had different letters, in rhinestones and curly writing, on them and different colored outfits. One girl, with a J rhinstone sat in front of me, in a pink polo shirt and a short plaid skirt with flats, the color of pink cotton candy and blonde hair, curled at the tips with blueish gray eyes. A girl, with a T on her shirt wore green, while a girl, who looked just like her, was wearing blue, sat on both sides of me. And the leader, had a  with a J in it, wore white. Showing of her tan, I see. "Who the heck is this?" 'P' and 'T' asked, at the same time. They looked like identical twins, from what I could see. "This is-," The leader broke off and looked at me, arching one perfect eyebrow in question. "Alasha," I said not feellinf=g in the mood to give them my full name. "Oh. Well I'm Paola- Maria. You can call me Paola," the girl in blue said. "And this is my twinny," Paola gestured toward the girl in green which matched her eyes,"Tonia." I looked at Tonia and she looked at me like a creature who who had entered her domain and she didn't approve. "Hi." Tonia said, dripping as much acid into her words as possible, giving me a glare that would have made me blow up. Metaphorically of course. "Tonia stop being a female dog. She hasnt't done anything to you. Calm down. By the way my name is Josi," the girl in pink stated, in a rather nasally voice. "And I am Jenni Faria, but you call me Jenni," The leader said. "Only club members sit here. That's why she gave the sour-milk spill. You join the club, you become popular." Jenni said simply. "We would love to have you in our club," Tonia said filing her nails. "Ok, cool give me a moment to think about it." Ok. So their outfits are cute but not something I would where. Text: google All rights reserved. Publication Date: January 20th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-miamivampie123

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-megan-bretbrunner-stuck-on-mako-island/

megan bretbrunner stuck on mako island mermaid saga part 1 prolog i walked along the street, it was sun set. i checked my watch,it was 7 o'clock my dad would not be happy. i walked up to my house, compaired to the other houses on the block it was pretty ugly, paint was chipping, the door was covered in dirt, and the grass looked like it hadn't been cut in a year. i sighed and opened the door quietly hoping my dad was already passed out drunk, he was mean when he was awake, and i had a scar on my left leg to prove it. saddly dad was watching football totally awake. i tried to sneak passed him, but he noticed me. "What are you doing here so late?" he demanded. "dad i was at a friends," i told him. "tell the truth!" he told me slapping me. "dad i swear you can call them if you want, i really was at my friends," i told him trying not to cry. "liar go to your room now!" he screamed. i ran to my room in tears. you see my dad is a drunk to put it simply, i miss my mommy. she tried to help dad in the beginning but it didn't get better dad just got worse and worse. then one day when i was six, my dad was beating up my mom, i remember hiding in the closet just waiting for the screaming to stop. then after two hours the screaming stopped, so i got out of the closet and walked into my parent's bedroom my mom was covered in blood, and being six i thought she was just sleeping. i shook her she didn't wake up. then thats when my dad came in with a knife he sliced my left leg with it and told me that if i told anyone he would kill me. chapter 1: a plan i sat on my bed and sobbed. then suddenly an idea hit me, i didn't have to take this. i didn't need to be hurt like this.but i don't know what to do, only that i didn't need to take this torture. 'maybe i can run away' i thought to myself. but i didn't know where to go, and plus i didn't have any money. maybe i could go to that deserted island mako? but still where would i get the money. so the next day i figured something out i would mow lawns and not tell dad i was doing it. adfter about a month i had made about a 150 dollars. so i bought lots of food and a sewing kit. i put them in my back pack and went home. saddly my dad was awake again. "Where have you been?" he demanded. "chill dad i just missed the bus," i lied. "you don't tell me to chill you slut!" he slapped. suddenly i did something i shouldn've done. i slapped him back. he rowred with rage and took off his belt and wammed me in the side with it i shrieked in pain. he laughed and wipped me harder. i screamed in pain. after a fifteen minute beating he got bored and walked over to the couch and passed out drunk. When i finally stopped crying i got off the floor and grabbed an icepack and taped it to my side. i groaned in pain as i walked up the stairs. i was so mad at my life. why did i have to have a demon spawn for a dad? Why did he have to kill my mom?And finally why does everything happen to me? i finally desided that now was my chance to run for it. i peeled open my window and thanked god i was on the first story and grabbed my shoes. i climbed out the window wincing in pain. it was warm outside, i sighed happily at the tempature. i walked to the marina which took about ten minutes. i looked around there were a lot of boats. hm yacht? no to noticable. Row boat? no to small. an average boat? perfect. i smiled happy that my mom taught me how to drive a boat before the "accident". i climbed over and found the boat to be empty. i walked over to the controls. i turned on the boat and sped off to mako island. the ride took two days. i sighed i had been on this stupid boat two days. i looked at the harrizen, i saw an island. it took about half an hour to reach it. i beached to boat and climbed onto the beach. the sand was smooth and soft. i sighed in victory. i had finally got away from that monster i was forced to call my dad. but i knew if he was trully my dad he wouldn't hit me, and totally wouldn't have murdered my mommy. the simple truth was i hated him, i mean he was so mean to me and made me suffer for no good reason. i frowned and walked up the beach a little. i knew some stuff i would need to servive like how to make clothes and tents and blankets. my mom taught me a lot. i knew i would need a basic structure for right now. so i grabbed some drift wood and made the spine for it, then grabbed a sail i found in the boat and drapped it over the spine. it formed a nice tent, and the whole thing took half an hour. then i crawled into it and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the sand. chapter 2: the moon pool i woke up with sand in my hair, i sighed sitting up and shaking my head like a dog. sand landed in my lap. i slipped out of the tent. i felt a dry feeling in the back of my throat, then i remembered i hadn't had anything to drink in three days. i needed to find water, i knew that i needed to find a stream. so i got up and walked up the beach. i looked through the jungle. i found orenge tree and had one. it was sweet and juicy. the search took about three hours. i finally found the stream, though it had high altitude. i jumped over a rock and to the stream. i leaned down and drank from the stream. once i was done i jumped accrossed the rock but i missed and fell down a hole. i landed on my bruised side, i shrieked in pain. i stood up after a couple seconds and looked up the hole. i tried climbing back up but landed on my butt. i sighed and tried again, but it had the same result. i sighed in frustration. i just got here i didn't want to spend my life stuck in a cave. i looked around the cave for a way out. i saw a huge opening on one side of the cave. it even looked like it had stairs. i pondered this 'there is no way this cave was never inhabited' i thought to my self. i walked up the stairs. what i saw next took my breath away. it was a cone of a valcano, and right below it was a clear pool of water. thats when i noticed a girl in the corner she was bruised and dirty. she had black hair, leather jeans, and a envanescence t-shirt. "are you ok?" i asked. " i don't know," she sighed. "well what happened?" i asked her. she sighed," i fell down this hole." "oh, well why are you here anyway?" i asked. "I ran away," she sighed saddly. "really? me too," i told her. "oh i'm sorry," she told me. "don't be i'm glad i did my dad was an abusive butt head," i told her. "oh i'm sorry, i ran away because people made fun of me," she sighed. "i'm sorry, they teased me because my house was dirty," i sighed. "they teased me because i was goth," she told me. "well what's wrong with that anyway?" asked. "I don't know they said i was creepy," she sighed. "i know how you feel," i sighed. "Well how long have you been in here?" i asked. "I don't know maybe six hours," she shrugged. "wait look theirs tidial rings on that pool," i pointed at the pool. "so?"" she was lost. "That maybe a way out," i told her. "oh," she said less confused. "i'll check it out," i told her jumping in. i dived under, about fifteen feet down there was a hole. i swam through it. it lead to the reef, then i swam back through it, i could barely here the girl calling me. i surfaced. "yep there's a big hole fifteen down we can all fit through," i told gher. "ok," she said jumping in. "by the way what's your name?" i asked. "lizzy," she told me. "i'm Chelsea," i told her. suddenly the moon came out and shined down on us. the pool started to bubble. "weird," Lizzy said confused. then the water started to glow and light balls of light rose up in the air. "spooky," i sighed. suddenly the moon passed and it stopped as soon as it had started. my legs tingled. "anyway come on," she told me. and with that we swam through the hole fifteen feet down. we surfaced at the same time. "where is the island?" she asked. "over there," i said pointing at the island. "oh." so we swam to the main beach. once on shore i led her to my tent and we passed out from excaustion. chapter 3: mermaids the next morning i woke up to a snoring Lizzy. i shook her, she opened her eyes. "i'm up, I'm up," she said sleepily. "have a nice sleep," i laughed. she stuck her tongue out at me. "oh real mature," i laughed. she giggled. "want to go for a swim?" Lizzy asked. "sure," i laughed crawling out of the tent with Lizzy on my heals. "i'll race you," she told me running into the ocean. i got in the ocean two seconds later. my legs started to tingle. i looked at Lizzy, she looked confused, almost like she felt it too. Then ten seconds later something amazing happened we grew golden tails. "oh my god," i screamed. "what the heck," Lizzy said confused. "what happened to us?" i asked shocked. " i think we turned into mermaids," she told me. "ok i'm totally dreaming pinch me," i told her. she did and it HURT! "ok we're not dreaming," Lizzy laughed. "yeah i said pinch me now tare off my skin," i stuck out my tongue at her. "oh look who's immature now," Lizzy laughed splashing me. "Hey i'm gonna get you fish butt," I told her as she swam away from me. with a flick of my tail i caught up with her. "oh my god how did you do that?" she asked me. "i just flicked my tail like this,' i did and suddenly fifty yards away from Lzzy. "wow!" i heard her call. then she was suddenly right beside me. "isn't it awesome?" i smiled. "totally," she laughed. chapter 4: a place to call home Chapter 4 the next few days passed in a daze, we are starting to build a tree house, as well as an out house. it turns out Lizzy's dad was a cunstruction worker. although being a mermaid makes it harder, like when we were harvesting bamboo the sap came out and turned me into a mermaid and as a result i dropped them on my stomache. but other than that things have been good... "so how far are we? i asked as i saw Lizzy walking by. we had diffrent jobs i made stuff like rugs, blankets, and clothes out of palm leaves, and regular leaves. "I got the suport beam up, now i can start building," she told me. "cool, what did you make the beam out of?" i asked. "drift wood, and bamboo," she told me. "Cool, tell me when i need to get more bamboo," i told her. she nodded," I will." "ok," i said turning back to the blanket i was weaving. So far i had weaved a tiny rug, and a skirt for Lizzy. after a few hours i got done with the blanket and went on a walk down the beach. there was a pile of drift wood sitting there so i picked it up. "Lizzy!" i called. "yeah?" she called back. "i found some drift wood do you want it?" i asked. "do you really think i'd say no?" she laughed. and with that i went over to where she was working and set it next to the structure she was making. "thanks," she smiled. "no problem, hey i'm going to go take a nap," i told her. she nodded and turned back to what ever she was doing. i headed back and fell asleep on the beach. Lizzy's point of view i attached the first plank of bamboo to the tree house. it fit nicely on the suport beam plus i nailed it to the tree so yeah, i'm like my dad i never go any where with out nails or glue, although pounding in a nail with a rock just makes me feel like an idiot. I should probably make a hammer soon. i felt like having a snack so i dropped my rock and started looking for something to eat, i found a banna tree. i grabbed a mound of them and took them to the camp fire we made out of wood from the palm trees. i rosted the bannana's for about a minute and ate one. i took out my plant gide and looked at a couple fruits and vegetables, as well as roots. At that momment Chelsea came over she had sand in her hair. "Hey, looks like some one needs a swim," i laughed. she nodded. "well what are waiting for christmas let's go," i laughed. and with that we dove in, and just swam and splashed around for about four hours. i knew i had found a place to call home. chapter 5: a new girl chapter 5 it has been a week since we became mermaids, and it was awesome we figured out Lizzy could move things with her mind(mager help), and i could light things on fire. and we can swim up to 156 miles per hour max. The tree house is coming along swimmingly, we have the floor made and we are starting on the walls. and Lizzy finally made a hammer, as well as a pickaxe. and the out house is finally done. We had also learned to make three types of tea using herbs we found on the island, as well as how to dry bannanas... "so are you almost done with the tree house?" i asked. "yes but i'll need to go back to the mainland," she told me. "what if someone notices you?" i asked. "oh they won't they didn't even notice me when i was there," she told me. "I'm sorry Lizzy," i sighed. "Oh it's fine they won't even recognize me now that i'm not wearing goth clothes," she told me. "anyway i'm gonna look around the island anyway," i said. "Ok just don't get eaten," she laughed. "I'd be more worried about the animals, you do know i can set things on fire right," i laughed. "yeah i do know that," she smiled. "anyway do you want to take the boat or swim?" i asked. "Duh swim," she said rolling her eyes. i stuck my tongue out at her. "Oh, real mature Chelsea, real mature," she giggled. "anyway yeah i'll be back by sun set," i told her. "ok, later," she said walking down the beach. i walked into the joungle for about twenty minutes then stopped for an orenge. i had two then kept going. i was half way across the island when i heard a cry for help. i turned towards the sound. a girl about fourteen with long blond hair and green eyes was trapped her leg was under a rock.i pushed the rock aside. "are you ok?" i asked her. "it hurts!" she whimpered. "can you stand?" i asked. "i could try," she said trying to stand up but when she put weight on her leg she screamed in pain and fell down. "i guess not," she sighed. i patted her back. 'LIZZY!' i screamed in my mind. 'Oh my god are you a ghost?' her voice replied. 'No i'm Chelsea No get your but down here i need you!' i called in my mind. 'What happened?' the voice asked. 'i found a girl she broke her leg and i need you to carry her with your power!' i told Lizzy. "by the way what is your name?" i asked. "Bella,Bella Edwards," she told me. "what are you doing here?" i asked. "i ran away," she told me. "same here, anyway my friend will be here soon to help," i told her. "how? How does she know you found me?" she asked. "You wouldn't believe me if i told you," i sighed. "want a bet?" she smiled. "ok promise not to tell?" i asked. she nodded. "Me and the other girl who live on this island are mermaids," i told her. "oh i thought you where going to say you were a hybrid," she told me. "What's a hybrid?" i asked. "it's a half vampire half human," she told me. "are you one of those?" i asked. she nodded. "now let's go," she said standing up. "how did you heal so fast?" i asked. "it comes along with being a hybrid," she told me. "Oh," i sighed. 'false alarm she already healed' i called to Lizzy. 'what the heck girl she broke her leg' she demanded. 'she's a hybrid or as we know dampire' i called back. 'so what does that have to do with anything?'. 'they heal fast' i replied. "ok so do you want to come back with me?" i asked. "sure," she smiled. "do you have any powers?" i asked her. "yeah i'm a shield," she told me. "your a what?" i asked confused. "i have a force feild," she laughed "anyway come on," i told her. "i could carry you," she told me. i looked at her like she was insane. she laughed, "vamps and hybrids have super stregnth." "oh, then how do you know where we are?" i asked. "your scent," she told me. "what ever," i sighed. Publication Date: September 24th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-twilightlovergirl

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-chalen-d-growing-up-fast/

Chalen D. Growing up Fast Any where you go your going to have people that think, your a freak. so let them think your a freak while your having fun. it's okay to be different and to be yourself no matter what anyone says don't hide who you really are you'll be just fine. i would know. <3 everything is going to be fine. Hey, i'm Elsie, how's it going? before i tell my story i though i should show you around my house, that my mom decided to move to ruining my whole life. My peace offering? a dog, that looks like a small bear, a new car and a recording studio. My mom and me never are on the same page, i'm always three steps and two the right ahead of her. you have to watch my mom she is constantly in need of help. Although my mom never says it, i get the feeling that she's thinking that i ruined her live. I'm a baby by rape. my mom got married and had kaycey my three year old sister/daughter. They got divorced, the marriage was never any good to start with. that's how my mom became rich. she got a new boy friend named Jake, and became pregnant. She wanted to get married after the baby. i keep to myself, and raise kaycey. So, back to the tour, i'll show you my room, bathroom, and then some of the other parts of the house, and of course some pics of us, starting with me then kaycey, jake mom and a pic of the baby. the story starts of before logan was born. ok lets get started. "hey sweet heart!" my mom said, as i came through the door. i walked to the kitchen and put down my bag. my mom was dressed in her usual sweat suit, cause she complained nothing else fit her. Jake, her boyfriend and my unknown half siblings dad sat at the table with paper work and a lap lop in front of him. i got a soda from the fridge and took a drink. "you should watch your sugar intake," she said. "leave her be." Jake said. i would say Jake sucked, but that would be a lie, he had my back, at least until my mom started to throw a fit, saying they were supposed to be a team. "how was school?" she said. school! "please tell you you picked kaycey up from play time." i said. "damn!" she said. "i got it." i said. i grabbed my moms keys and headed to the play group center. "welcome Miss Mason!" the front desk girl said. she picked up a phone. "Miss Mason is here." she said. kaycey came out with a woman her eyes red and cheeks wet from tears. she smiled and ran to me. i sat on my knees and pulled her into a hug. "why the tears?" i asked, wiping them away. "mommy forgot me." she said. "i didn't." i told her. "that's why your my favorite." she said. "i am?!" i asked. she giggled, and nodded. "well then, that's the best news I've heard today, want to go get ice cream?" i said. she nodded. we got ice cream and went home. once she was asleep for the night mom called me into the kitchen. she sat with Jake at the table. i paused at the door. "come in." she said. "i am in." i said. "well, with the new baby coming, we need more room, so we're moving." she said. "what are we doing know?" i asked. "Moving. you know if you came to yoga with me you could hear better." she said. "oh enough with the yoga already. i don't have a choice in this do i?" i said. "your only sixteen, so you don't." she said. "lovely." i said. "as a peace offering, we're giving you a car, a recording studio and a dog." Jake said. "peace offering?" i scoffed. "as in you try to be nice. deal?" my mom asked. i stared at her with my thoughts once again returning to the glorious though of strangling her. "see i knew she'd go for it." my mom said, taking a drink of her tea. "it's in Hollywood. we leave tomorrow." she said. "we're here!" my mom said. i jumped awake. "what's wrong!" i said. "nothing! come on!" my mom said. "i got her, your." i said, pointing at her stomach. i got kaycey out of the car as Jake came to meet us. "what do you think Elsie?" he asked me. "isn't it a little, oh i don't know. big?" i said. "no!" my mom said, grabbing my hand and pulling me to the house. she gave me the tour. "where's the t.v?" i asked, once in the living room. "t.v fries your brain!" she said, taking kaycey. "can you get a t.v out in my closet?" i asked, a maid. she nodded and left. "els! come check this out!" Jake said. i followed his voice, into the recording studio. "sweet right?" Jake asked. "i'll say." i said. "Elsie! we need to go shopping, i left your old clothes at the old house." my mom called. "but school starts tomorrow!" i yelled, my voice echoing off the walls. "well you better hurry! chop-chop!" she called. "chop-chop?" i asked, Jake as he hit the lights and we began making our way to my mom. "i have no idea." he said. after trying on what seemed like every bra in Victoria's secret, my mom finally let me check out and go shop for normal clothes. after everything was set we went to eat. i but kaycey in a high chair and we dug in. "so, i know you grew up fast." my mom said. "and you found this out when?" i asked. "i'm taking kaycey to model and to be in commercials, so you can go and have fun with your friends." she said. "what friends!?" i asked. people that passed looked our way. "calm," mom said. "you'll make friends." she said. when we came home a dog/baby bear ran to us. "what the heck is that?" i asked, leaning forward to see the fuzz ball. "that's your dog!" my mom said. "that's not a dog, that's like a baby bear." i said. "look can i just be shown to my room?" i asked. A maid showed me to my room, witch was of course over done. i put my things away, and went to the kitchen for a cup of juice. "hey bud," Jake said. "hey, where's mom." i said. "she went to meet with agents for kaycey." he said. "can she ever sit still?" i asked. "hey look i'm going to the office want to come?" he asked. Jake's a record producer. "me?" i asked. "yeah, come on, stepfather stepdaughter bonding." he said. i laughed, and finished my juice. Jake went to work recording some new band while i walked around. a door opened, and a boy my age stormed out, hitting my shoulder. "sorry." he said, leaving. "fine leave we don't need you!" another guy yelled coming to the door. "sorry, about Owen. he didn't hurt you did he?" the guy said. "i'm good." i said, walking past him back to Jake. "hey your Jake's kid right?" he asked. "something like that." i said, still walking. "stay cool, Elsie." he said. i turned to ask him how he knew my name but the door was closed and he was gone. it was Monday morning and i was freaking out. i looked in the mirror. "you look fine, your fine you can do this, you've got this." i said. i turned and grabbed my bag. "i hope." i said. "Elsie your late!" my mom called. "I'm not late!" i yelled back for the fifth time. i skipped breakfast and went outside. a guy opened my new car. "uh thanks." i said. i got in and he closed the door. i ran my hand over the steering wheel and smiled. i parked my car and got out. "omg hi." a blond girl said, coming to me with her three friends. "well, you've got one hell of a vice." i said. "we will be best friends." she said. a girl with pink hair stood by my side. "like ohmigod, get the hell out of here." she said. she put an elbow on my shoulder. "she's with me." she said. "oh," the girl said. "so, what's your classes?" the pink haired girl asked. i gave her my classes, as the other girls left. "cool you have free hour with me, come on." she said. we walked to a class room. "i'm Jamie, by the way." she said. "Elsie." i said. "YO, listen up!" she called. five kids looked up. "this is Elsie, you mess with her i'll kick your ass." she said. i looked at a kid in the back, hood up, ear phones in. he looked up and then back down. "you know Owen?" Jamie asked. "yeah." i said. "huh. well this is Bella, may, coltan and Blake." she said. we sat down. everyone crowed around us. i sat on a desk with Jamie and they all sat in chairs. Owen stayed at the back. i got up and walked to him, and took out an ear phone everyone gasped as if this was never done before. "cool band." i said. "used to be." he said. "what happened?" i asked sitting in a chair. he turned to me. "the singer thought he could boss me around so i just quit." he said. "damn." i said. "no worries, it's not my scene." he said. "what is?" i asked. he looked at me. "well?" i asked. "i want to produce music." he said. "need some pointers?" i asked. he nodded slowly. "next time your at the office ask for Jake, tell them that Elsie sent you." i said. "i'll look into it thanks." he said. "yeah." i said. we turned to everyone looking at us. they looked away and started a conversation. "yeah cool set up." someone said. i stopped in front of my studio. "yeah, it's my daughter's." Jake said. "you have a daughter?" the voice asked. "two, and one on the way." Jake said. i went in. "Elsie!" Jake said. "Owen?" i asked. "what are you doing here?" i asked. "lessons." Owen said. I left the room and went to the back yard. "Elsie, whoa sweet pool, Elsie what's wrong?" Owen said. "look, can you not say anything about Jake?" i asked. "why? are you ashamed of him?" Owen asked. "no way, it's just people treat me different when i say he's my dad." i said. "people are going to love you, because of you." he said. "exactly. but how can they get to know the real me when they want to get with Jake?" i asked. "i got to know you, before Jake." he said. "you don't know me." i said. "sure i do." he said. he looked me in the eyes. "you grew up way to fast, everything fell on your fragile shoulders making them stronger. you love to laugh when you get the chance, love to have fun and be yourself. you, don't show the world your full potential cause you don't want to get hurt. your smart funny, cool, and should never change." he said. "people don't see those things Owen, they just look at it as, a free ticket to stardom." i said. he looked at me sadly. "it's always the same." i said. i walked past him into the house and to my room. i went down the hall and saw Owen in my studio. "hey." i said. "hey, you know this is some awesome stuff." he said. "yeah i know, i just need to learn how to use it." i said. "or i could run it for you." he offered. "um ok." i said. i got into the booth and put on the head phones. "redy elsie?" he asked. "yep." i said. once the music came through the head phones, it came natural, i began to sing. the on thing i loved to do no matter what, but never did. "i told you that i would always be around, but you pushed me away. i never knew that our once strong built bond, would fall apart at the seems. i picked you up when you fell down, you made it better when i was feeling down. i can't bring myself to belive that you left me here alone. we used to be so strong together, never falling into the unknown. i put up some walls not to keep people out but to see who loved me enough to climb them. you didn't climb them you knoked them down and pulled me into the light. i never thanked you for that but i guess now it's too late, cause you ended up leaving me behind, and i never let anyone see how much it hurt me the day you said, you weren't coming back. i still pretend your coming home, but we both know that's only mindless dreaming i wish you could see how much better i was when you where here, but your gone now, and i wish it wasn't true, but your where you want to be so i have to let you be. people say in your life you'll go through at least one heart break. if you came back i'd tell you that you kinda let me down. i know you have to do your own thing but i miss you here, and want you to come home. i know your not coming back, but i still pray, you'll find your way home. even though you've left me behind i just want you to know you'll always be my hero, and remember love is never blind."the next day at lunch i was sitting with jaime. "dude i know, but-" "Elsie, look." owen said, sitting down. "um talking!" she said. Owen didn't pay attention to her. "can you sing in front of a crowd?" he asked. "yeah," i said. "so do you think that we could do something for the talent show?" he asked. "yeah." i said. "cool i do the music you do the words?" he said. "yep." i said. "perfect, see you later." he said, getting up. "Owen!" my mom's over the top happy voice called . "come in!" she said. "look at you!" she said. " is Elsie here?" he asked. i came down stairs. "i'm going to get kaycey ready for a shoot, so i'll see you tonight." she said. we went to the studio. "so do you have anything?" he asked. "no." i said. "good i thought i was the only one." he said. we sat on the floor and began to work. an hour later balls of paper where every where. i started to hum. "wait, that's good sing what your humming." he said. "the girl your looking at isn't really, me." i said. "that's good." Owen said, he grabbed his guitar, and played some cords. i bobbed my head. "you think you know me but oh there's so much more to me then meets the eye." i sang. "see, we got this!" i said. Owen laughed. "Owen, stay for dinner!" my mom said. once all sitting down we ate. "what's your name?" kaycey asked. "Owen." he said. "did you know i'm a princess?" she asked. "i didn't, and thank you for letting me dine with you, princess." he said. she giggled. "you can call me kaycey." she said, with a wink. he looked at me, but i smiled and looked at my food. "well that was something else." Owen said. "sorry." i said. "No, i liked it i had fun, see you tomorrow, oh and the talent show starts at five, but i tonight we could stay after school, i found some guys to play with me, and we could just get ready." he said. "cool." i said. Owen hugged me and left. my mom had logan that night, and ok, i'll admit, she is cute. once we met the guys, we went to the stage. "whoa." i said. "yeah this school does stages big." he said. bigger stage means more people. "come on, we're first, so go get ready." he said. "ladies and gentlemen! boys and girls! welcome to Hollywood high school's talent show we have an awesome show so let's get started. Elsie Mason and Owen Monroe are performing, an original song, called you don't really know me." "the girl your looking at isn't really me. you think you know me but oh there's so much more to me then meets the eye. I'm the girl that stutters when there's a couple of people to please, but if there's a crowd i can knock them dead." i sang. "no one really knows someone unless they make the time to figure them out." Owen sang. "No, one want's to take the time to get to know me they think i'm some kind of freak, they act like they really don't want to see me." we sang. "the truth is, they would never know that i could sing, or that i'm Jake Daring's daughter, cause they would never give me the time of day." i sang. "you don't have to be afraid to be different cause if we where all the same how boring would live be? don't be afraid to show the world who you really are!" we sang. once the show was over everyone clapped and the rest of the show played out. after the show everyone went to meet their parents. a hand came down on my shoulder, and i spun around. "i could not be any prouder of you then right now, you just told everyone to be themselves and it's okay." Jake said. he pulled me into a hug and i didn't resist. "just trying to get the message across." i said. "message delivered, knock 'em dead kid." he said. with that he went to find my mom. "Elise!" Owen yelled. i waved he ran to me and picked me up in a hug. "you did it!" he said, putting me down. "you where great! we won first place!" he said. "we did?" i asked, hugging him. "we get to cut a record deal." he said. "do you really want to do that?" i asked. "i'll do anything if you want me to." he said. i smiled. "Elsie." he said. "yeah?" i asked. he pulled me in for a hug. he backed away, and kissed me. "you had me form i'm good." he smiled. i laughed. he kissed me again. i guess everything works out ok once in awhile. i have a new boyfriend. and best of all i have a best friend that loves me for me. just remember, follow your dreams never let anyone tell you your crazy,and don't hurt anyone's feelings, you may not know it now, but some day, you might need that person. sincerely, Elsie Mason-Daring- Monroe <3 Publication Date: April 5th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-chalen

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-louisa-may-alcott-hospital-sketches/

Louisa May Alcott Hospital Sketches CHAPTER I: OBTAINING SUPPLIES. "I want something to do." This remark being addressed to the world in general, no one in particular felt it their duty to reply; so I repeated it to the smaller world about me, received the following suggestions, and settled the matter by answering my own inquiry, as people are apt to do when very much in earnest. "Write a book," quoth the author of my being. "Don't know enough, sir. First live, then write." "Try teaching again," suggested my mother. "No thank you, ma'am, ten years of that is enough." "Take a husband like my Darby, and fulfill your mission," said sister Joan, home on a visit. "Can't afford expensive luxuries, Mrs. Coobiddy." "Turn actress, and immortalize your name," said sister Vashti, striking an attitude. "I won't." "Go nurse the soldiers," said my young brother, Tom, panting for "the tented field." "I will!" So far, very good. Here was the will--now for the way. At first sight not a foot of it appeared, but that didn't matter, for the Periwinkles are a hopeful race; their crest is an anchor, with three cock-a-doodles crowing atop. They all wear rose-colored spectacles, and are lineal descendants of the inventor of aerial architecture. An hour's conversation on the subject set the whole family in a blaze of enthusiasm. A model hospital was erected, and each member had accepted an honorable post therein. The paternal P. was chaplain, the maternal P. was matron, and all the youthful P.s filled the pod of futurity with achievements whose brilliancy eclipsed the glories of the present and the past. Arriving at this satisfactory conclusion, the meeting adjourned, and the fact that Miss Tribulation was available as army nurse went abroad on the wings of the wind. In a few days a townswoman heard of my desire, approved of it, and brought about an interview with one of the sisterhood which I wished to join, who was at home on a furlough, and able and willing to satisfy all inquiries. A morning chat with Miss General S.--we hear no end of Mrs. Generals, why not a Miss?--produced three results: I felt that I could do the work, was offered a place, and accepted it, promising not to desert, but stand ready to march on Washington at an hour's notice. A few days were necessary for the letter containing my request and recommendation to reach headquarters, and another, containing my commission, to return; therefore no time was to be lost; and heartily thanking my pair of friends, I tore home through the December slush as if the rebels were after me, and like many another recruit, burst in upon my family with the announcement-- "I've enlisted!" An impressive silence followed. Tom, the irrepressible, broke it with a slap on the shoulder and the graceful compliment-- "Old Trib, you're a trump!" "Thank you; then I'll take something:" which I did, in the shape of dinner, reeling off my news at the rate of three dozen words to a mouthful; and as every one else talked equally fast, and all together, the scene was most inspiring. As boys going to sea immediately become nautical in speech, walk as if they already had their "sea legs" on, and shiver their timbers on all possible occasions, so I turned military at once, called my dinner my rations, saluted all new comers, and ordered a dress parade that very afternoon. Having reviewed every rag I possessed, I detailed some for picket duty while airing over the fence; some to the sanitary influences of the wash-tub; others to mount guard in the trunk; while the weak and wounded went to the Work- basket Hospital, to be made ready for active service again. To this squad I devoted myself for a week; but all was done, and I had time to get powerfully impatient before the letter came. It did arrive however, and brought a disappointment along with its good will and friendliness, for it told me that the place in the Armory Hospital that I supposed I was to take, was already filled, and a much less desirable one at Hurly-burly House was offered instead. "That's just your luck, Trib. I'll tote your trunk up garret for you again; for of course you won't go," Tom remarked, with the disdainful pity which small boys affect when they get into their teens. I was wavering in my secret soul, but that settled the matter, and I crushed him on the spot with martial brevity-- "It is now one; I shall march at six." I have a confused recollection of spending the afternoon in pervading the house like an executive whirlwind, with my family swarming after me, all working, talking, prophesying and lamenting, while I packed my "go-abroady" possessions, tumbled the rest into two big boxes, danced on the lids till they shut, and gave them in charge, with the direction,-- "If I never come back, make a bonfire of them." Then I choked down a cup of tea, generously salted instead of sugared, by some agitated relative, shouldered my knapsack-- it was only a traveling bag, but do let me preserve the unities--hugged my family three times all round without a vestige of unmanly emotion, till a certain dear old lady broke down upon my neck, with a despairing sort of wail-- "Oh, my dear, my dear, how can I let you go?" "I'll stay if you say so, mother." "But I don't; go, and the Lord will take care of you." Much of the Roman matron's courage had gone into the Yankee matron's composition, and, in spite of her tears, she would have sent ten sons to the war, had she possessed them, as freely as she sent one daughter, smiling and flapping on the door-step till I vanished, though the eyes that followed me were very dim, and the handkerchief she waved was very wet. My transit from The Gables to the village depot was a funny mixture of good wishes and good byes, mud-puddles and shopping. A December twilight is not the most cheering time to enter upon a somewhat perilous enterprise, and, but for the presence of Vashti and neighbor Thorn, I fear that I might have added a drop of the briny to the native moisture of-- "The town I left behind me;" though I'd no thought of giving out: oh, bless you, no! When the engine screeched "Here we are," I clutched my escort in a fervent embrace, and skipped into the car with as blithe a farewell as if going on a bridal tour--though I believe brides don't usually wear cavernous black bonnets and fuzzy brown coats, with a hair-brush, a pair of rubbers, two books, and a bag of ginger-bread distorting the pockets of the same. If I thought that any one would believe it, I'd boldly state that I slept from C. to B., which would simplify matters immensely; but as I know they wouldn't, I'll confess that the head under the funereal coal-hod fermented with all manner of high thoughts and heroic purposes "to do or die,"--perhaps both; and the heart under the fuzzy brown coat felt very tender with the memory of the dear old lady, probably sobbing over her army socks and the loss of her topsy-turvy Trib. At this juncture I took the veil, and what I did behind it is nobody's business; but I maintain that the soldier who cries when his mother says "Good bye," is the boy to fight best, and die bravest, when the time comes, or go back to her better than he went. Till nine o'clock I trotted about the city streets, doing those last errands which no woman would even go to heaven without attempting, if she could. Then I went to my usual refuge, and, fully intending to keep awake, as a sort of vigil appropriate to the occasion, fell fast asleep and dreamed propitious dreams till my rosy-faced cousin waked me with a kiss. A bright day smiled upon my enterprise, and at ten I reported myself to my General, received last instructions and no end of the sympathetic encouragement which women give, in look, touch, and tone more effectually than in words. The next step was to get a free pass to Washington, for I'd no desire to waste my substance on railroad companies when "the boys" needed even a spinster's mite. A friend of mine had procured such a pass, and I was bent on doing likewise, though I had to face the president of the railroad to accomplish it. I'm a bashful individual, though I can't get any one to believe it; so it cost me a great effort to poke about the Worcester depot till the right door appeared, then walk into a room containing several gentlemen, and blunder out my request in a high state of stammer and blush. Nothing could have been more courteous than this dreaded President, but it was evident that I had made as absurd a demand as if I had asked for the nose off his respectable face. He referred me to the Governor at the State House, and I backed out, leaving him no doubt to regret that such mild maniacs were left at large. Here was a Scylla and Charybdis business: as if a President wasn't trying enough, without the Governor of Massachusetts and the hub of the hub piled on top of that. "I never can do it," thought I. "Tom will hoot at you if you don't," whispered the inconvenient little voice that is always goading people to the performance of disagreeable duties, and always appeals to the most effective agent to produce the proper result. The idea of allowing any boy that ever wore a felt basin and a shoddy jacket with a microscopic tail, to crow over me, was preposterous, so giving myself a mental slap for such faint-heartedness, I streamed away across the Common, wondering if I ought to say "your Honor," or simply "Sir," and decided upon the latter, fortifying myself with recollections of an evening in a charming green library, where I beheld the Governor placidly consuming oysters, and laughing as if Massachusetts was a myth, and he had no heavier burden on his shoulders than his host's handsome hands. Like an energetic fly in a very large cobweb, I struggled through the State House, getting into all the wrong rooms and none of the right, till I turned desperate, and went into one, resolving not to come out till I'd made somebody hear and answer me. I suspect that of all the wrong places I had blundered into, this was the most so. But I didn't care; and, though the apartment was full of soldiers, surgeons, starers, and spittoons, I cornered a perfectly incapable person, and proceeded to pump for information with the following result: "Was the Governor anywhere about?" No, he wasn't. "Could he tell me where to look?" No, he couldn't. "Did he know anything about free passes?" No, he didn't. "Was there any one there of whom I could inquire?" Not a person. "Did he know of any place where information could be obtained?" Not a place. "Could he throw the smallest gleam of light upon the matter, in any way?" Not a ray. I am naturally irascible, and if I could have shaken this negative gentleman vigorously, the relief would have been immense. The prejudices of society forbidding this mode of redress, I merely glowered at him; and, before my wrath found vent in words, my General appeared, having seen me from an opposite window, and come to know what I was about. At her command the languid gentleman woke up, and troubled himself to remember that Major or Sergeant or something Mc K. knew all about the tickets, and his office was in Milk Street. I perked up instanter, and then, as if the exertion was too much for him, what did this animated wet blanket do but add-- "I think Mc K. may have left Milk Street, now, and I don't know where he has gone." "Never mind; the new comers will know where he has moved to, my dear, so don't be discouraged; and if you don't succeed, come to me, and we will see what to do next," said my General. I blessed her in a fervent manner and a cool hall, fluttered round the corner, and bore down upon Milk Street, bent on discovering Mc K. if such a being was to be found. He wasn't, and the ignorance of the neighborhood was really pitiable. Nobody knew anything, and after tumbling over bundles of leather, bumping against big boxes, being nearly annihilated by descending bales, and sworn at by aggravated truckmen, I finally elicited the advice to look for Mc K. in Haymarket Square. Who my informant was I've really forgotten; for, having hailed several busy gentlemen, some one of them fabricated this delusive quietus for the perturbed spirit, who instantly departed to the sequestered locality he named. If I had been in search of the Koh-i-noor diamond I should have been as likely to find it there as any vestige of Mc K. I stared at signs, inquired in shops, invaded an eating house, visited the recruiting tent in the middle of the Square, made myself a nuisance generally, and accumulated mud enough to retard another Nile. All in vain: and I mournfully turned my face toward the General's, feeling that I should be forced to enrich the railroad company after all; when, suddenly, I beheld that admirable young man, brother-in-law Darby Coobiddy, Esq. I arrested him with a burst of news, and wants, and woes, which caused his manly countenance to lose its usual repose. "Oh, my dear boy, I'm going to Washington at five, and I can't find the free ticket man, and there won't be time to see Joan, and I'm so tired and cross I don't know what to do; and will you help me, like a cherub as you are?" "Oh, yes, of course. I know a fellow who will set us right," responded Darby, mildly excited, and darting into some kind of an office, held counsel with an invisible angel, who sent him out radiant. "All serene. I've got him. I'll see you through the business, and then get Joan from the Dove Cote in time to see you off." I'm a woman's rights woman, and if any man had offered help in the morning, I should have condescendingly refused it, sure that I could do everything as well, if not better, myself. My strong-mindedness had rather abated since then, and I was now quite ready to be a "timid trembler," if necessary. Dear me! how easily Darby did it all: he just asked one question, received an answer, tucked me under his arm, and in ten minutes I stood in the presence of Mc K., the Desired. "Now my troubles are over," thought I, and as usual was direfully mistaken. "You will have to get a pass from Dr. H., in Temple Place, before I can give you a pass, madam," answered Mc K., as blandly as if he wasn't carrying desolation to my soul. Oh, indeed! why didn't he send me to Dorchester Heights, India Wharf, or Bunker Hill Monument, and done with it? Here I was, after a morning's tramp, down in some place about Dock Square, and was told to step to Temple Place. Nor was that all; he might as well have asked me to catch a hummingbird, toast a salamander, or call on the man in the moon, as find a Doctor at home at the busiest hour of the day. It was a blow; but weariness had extinguished enthusiasm, and resignation clothed me as a garment. I sent Darby for Joan, and doggedly paddled off, feeling that mud was my native element, and quite sure that the evening papers would announce the appearance of the Wandering Jew, in feminine habiliments. "Is Dr. H. in?" "No, mum, he aint." Of course he wasn't; I knew that before I asked: and, considering it all in the light of a hollow mockery, added: "When will he probably return?" If the damsel had said, "ten to-night," I should have felt a grim satisfaction, in the fulfillment of my own dark prophecy; but she said, "At two, mum;" and I felt it a personal insult. "I'll call, then. Tell him my business is important:" with which mysteriously delivered message I departed, hoping that I left her consumed with curiosity; for mud rendered me an object of interest. By way of resting myself, I crossed the Common, for the third time, bespoke the carriage, got some lunch, packed my purchases, smoothed my plumage, and was back again, as the clock struck two. The Doctor hadn't come yet; and I was morally certain that he would not, till, having waited till the last minute, I was driven to buy a ticket, and, five minutes after the irrevocable deed was done, he would be at my service, with all manner of helpful documents and directions. Everything goes by contraries with me; so, having made up my mind to be disappointed, of course I wasn't; for, presently, in walked Dr. H., and no sooner had he heard my errand, and glanced at my credentials, than he said, with the most engaging readiness: "I will give you the order, with pleasure, madam." Words cannot express how soothing and delightful it was to find, at last, somebody who could do what I wanted, without sending me from Dan to Beersheba, for a dozen other to do something else first. Peace descended, like oil, upon the ruffled waters of my being, as I sat listening to the busy scratch of his pen; and, when he turned about, giving me not only the order, but a paper of directions wherewith to smooth away all difficulties between Boston and Washington, I felt as did poor Christian when the Evangelist gave him the scroll, on the safe side of the Slough of Despond. I've no doubt many dismal nurses have inflicted themselves upon the worthy gentleman since then; but I am sure none have been more kindly helped, or are more grateful, than T. P.; for that short interview added another to the many pleasant associations that already surround his name. Feeling myself no longer a "Martha Struggles," but a comfortable young woman, with plain sailing before her, and the worst of the voyage well over, I once more presented myself to the valuable Mc K. The order was read, and certain printed papers, necessary to be filled out, were given a young gentleman--no, I prefer to say Boy, with a scornful emphasis upon the word, as the only means of revenge now left me. This Boy, instead of doing his duty with the diligence so charming in the young, loitered and lounged, in a manner which proved his education to have been sadly neglected in the-- "How doth the little busy bee," direction. He stared at me, gaped out of the window, ate peanuts, and gossiped with his neighbors--Boys, like himself, and all penned in a row, like colts at a Cattle Show. I don't imagine he knew the anguish he was inflicting; for it was nearly three, the train left at five, and I had my ticket to get, my dinner to eat, my blessed sister to see, and the depot to reach, if I didn't die of apoplexy. Meanwhile, Patience certainly had her perfect work that day, and I hope she enjoyed the job more than I did. Having waited some twenty minutes, it pleased this reprehensible Boy to make various marks and blots on my documents, toss them to a venerable creature of sixteen, who delivered them to me with such paternal directions, that it only needed a pat on the head and an encouraging--"Now run home to your Ma, little girl, and mind the crossings, my dear," to make the illusion quite perfect. Why I was sent to a steamboat office for car tickets, is not for me to say, though I went as meekly as I should have gone to the Probate Court, if sent. A fat, easy gentleman gave me several bits of paper, with coupons attached, with a warning not to separate them, which instantly inspired me with a yearning to pluck them apart, and see what came of it. But, remembering through what fear and tribulation I had obtained them, I curbed Satan's promptings, and, clutching my prize, as if it were my pass to the Elysian Fields, I hurried home. Dinner was rapidly consumed; Joan enlightened, comforted, and kissed; the dearest of apple-faced cousins hugged; the kindest of apple-faced cousins' fathers subjected to the same process; and I mounted the ambulance, baggage-wagon, or anything you please but hack, and drove away, too tired to feel excited, sorry, or glad. CHAPTER II: A FORWARD MOVEMENT. As travellers like to give their own impressions of a journey, though every inch of the way may have been described a half a dozen times before, I add some of the notes made by the way, hoping that they will amuse the reader, and convince the skeptical that such a being as Nurse Periwinkle does exist, that she really did go to Washington, and that these Sketches are not romance. New York Train--Seven P.M.--Spinning along to take the boat at New London. Very comfortable; much gingerbread, and Mrs. C.'s fine pear, which deserves honorable mention, because my first loneliness was comforted by it, and pleasant recollections of both kindly sender and bearer. Look much at Dr. H.'s paper of directions--put my tickets in every conceivable place, that they may be get-at-able, and finish by losing them entirely. Suffer agonies till a compassionate neighbor pokes them out of a crack with his pen-knife. Put them in the inmost corner of my purse, that in the deepest recesses of my pocket, pile a collection of miscellaneous articles atop, and pin up the whole. Just get composed, feeling that I've done my best to keep them safely, when the Conductor appears, and I'm forced to rout them all out again, exposing my precautions, and getting into a flutter at keeping the man waiting. Finally, fasten them on the seat before me, and keep one eye steadily upon the yellow torments, till I forget all about them, in chat with the gentleman who shares my seat. Having heard complaints of the absurd way in which American women become images of petrified propriety, if addressed by strangers, when traveling alone, the inborn perversity of my nature causes me to assume an entirely opposite style of deportment; and, finding my companion hails from Little Athens, is acquainted with several of my three hundred and sixty-five cousins, and in every way a respectable and respectful member of society, I put my bashfulness in my pocket, and plunge into a long conversation on the war, the weather, music, Carlyle, skating, genius, hoops, and the immortality of the soul. Ten P.M.--Very sleepy. Nothing to be seen outside, but darkness made visible; nothing inside but every variety of bunch into which the human form can be twisted, rolled, or "massed," as Miss Prescott says of her jewels. Every man's legs sprawl drowsily, every woman's head (but mine,) nods, till it finally settles on somebody's shoulder, a new proof of the truth of the everlasting oak and vine simile; children fret; lovers whisper; old folks snore, and somebody privately imbibes brandy, when the lamps go out. The penetrating perfume rouses the multitude, causing some to start up, like war horses at the smell of powder. When the lamps are relighted, every one laughs, sniffs, and looks inquiringly at his neighbor--every one but a stout gentleman, who, with well-gloved hands folded upon his broad-cloth rotundity, sleeps on impressively. Had he been innocent, he would have waked up; for, to slumber in that babe-like manner, with a car full of giggling, staring, sniffing humanity, was simply preposterous. Public suspicion was down upon him at once. I doubt if the appearance of a flat black bottle with a label would have settled the matter more effectually than did the over dignified and profound repose of this short-sighted being. His moral neck- cloth, virtuous boots, and pious attitude availed him nothing, and it was well he kept his eyes shut, for "Humbug!" twinkled at him from every window-pane, brass nail and human eye around him. Eleven P.M.--In the boat "City of Boston," escorted thither by my car acquaintance, and deposited in the cabin. Trying to look as if the greater portion of my life had been passed on board boats, but painfully conscious that I don't know the first thing; so sit bolt upright, and stare about me till I hear one lady say to another--"We must secure our berths at once;" whereupon I dart at one, and, while leisurely taking off my cloak, wait to discover what the second move may be. Several ladies draw the curtains that hang in a semi-circle before each nest--instantly I whisk mine smartly together, and then peep out to see what next. Gradually, on hooks above the blue and yellow drapery, appear the coats and bonnets of my neighbors, while their boots and shoes, in every imaginable attitude, assert themselves below, as if their owners had committed suicide in a body. A violent creaking, scrambling, and fussing, causes the fact that people are going regularly to bed to dawn upon my mind. Of course they are; and so am I--but pause at the seventh pin, remembering that, as I was born to be drowned, an eligible opportunity now presents itself; and, having twice escaped a watery grave, the third immersion will certainly extinguish my vital spark. The boat is new, but if it ever intends to blow up, spring a leak, catch afire, or be run into, it will do the deed to-night, because I'm here to fulfill my destiny. With tragic calmness I resign myself, replace my pins, lash my purse and papers together, with my handkerchief, examine the saving circumference of my hoop, and look about me for any means of deliverance when the moist moment shall arrive; for I've no intention of folding my hands and bubbling to death without an energetic splashing first. Barrels, hen-coops, portable settees, and life-preservers do not adorn the cabin, as they should; and, roving wildly to and fro, my eye sees no ray of hope till it falls upon a plump old lady, devoutly reading in the cabin Bible, and a voluminous night-cap. I remember that, at the swimming school, fat girls always floated best, and in an instant my plan is laid. At the first alarm I firmly attach myself to the plump lady, and cling to her through fire and water; for I feel that my old enemy, the cramp, will seize me by the foot, if I attempt to swim; and, though I can hardly expect to reach Jersey City with myself and my baggage in as good condition as I hoped, I might manage to get picked up by holding to my fat friend; if not it will be a comfort to feel that I've made an effort and shall die in good society. Poor dear woman! how little she dreamed, as she read and rocked, with her cap in a high state of starch, and her feet comfortably cooking at the register, what fell designs were hovering about her, and how intently a small but determined eye watched her, till it suddenly closed. Sleep got the better of fear to such an extent that my boots appeared to gape, and my bonnet nodded on its peg, before I gave in. Having piled my cloak, bag, rubbers, books and umbrella on the lower shelf, I drowsily swarmed onto the upper one, tumbling down a few times, and excoriating the knobby portions of my frame in the act. A very brief nap on the upper roost was enough to set me gasping as if a dozen feather beds and the whole boat were laid over me. Out I turned; and after a series of convulsions, which caused my neighbor to ask if I wanted the stewardess, I managed to get my luggage up and myself down. But even in the lower berth, my rest was not unbroken, for various articles kept dropping off the little shelf at the bottom of the bed, and every time I flew up, thinking my hour had come, I bumped my head severely against the little shelf at the top, evidently put there for that express purpose. At last, after listening to the swash of the waves outside, wondering if the machinery usually creaked in that way, and watching a knot-hole in the side of my berth, sure that death would creep in there as soon as I took my eye from it, I dropped asleep, and dreamed of muffins. Five A.M.--On deck, trying to wake up and enjoy an east wind and a morning fog, and a twilight sort of view of something on the shore. Rapidly achieve my purpose, and do enjoy every moment, as we go rushing through the Sound, with steamboats passing up and down, lights dancing on the shore, mist wreaths slowly furling off, and a pale pink sky above us, as the sun comes up. Seven A.M.--In the cars, at Jersey City. Much fuss with tickets, which one man scribbles over, another snips, and a third "makes note on." Partake of refreshment, in the gloom of a very large and dirty depot. Think that my sandwiches would be more relishing without so strong a flavor of napkin, and my gingerbread more easy of consumption if it had not been pulverized by being sat upon. People act as if early traveling didn't agree with them. Children scream and scamper; men smoke and growl; women shiver and fret; porters swear; great truck horses pace up and down with loads of baggage; and every one seems to get into the wrong car, and come tumbling out again. One man, with three children, a dog, a bird-cage, and several bundles, puts himself and his possessions into every possible place where a man, three children, dog, bird-cage and bundles could be got, and is satisfied with none of them. I follow their movements, with an interest that is really exhausting, and, as they vanish, hope for rest, but don't get it. A strong-minded woman, with a tumbler in her hand, and no cloak or shawl on, comes rushing through the car, talking loudly to a small porter, who lugs a folding bed after her, and looks as if life were a burden to him. "You promised to have it ready. It is not ready. It must be a car with a water jar, the windows must be shut, the fire must be kept up, the blinds must be down. No, this won't do. I shall go through the whole train, and suit myself, for you promised to have it ready. It is not ready," &c., all through again, like a hand-organ. She haunted the cars, the depot, the office and baggage-room, with her bed, her tumbler, and her tongue, till the train started; and a sense of fervent gratitude filled my soul, when I found that she and her unknown invalid were not to share our car. Philadelphia.--An old place, full of Dutch women, in "bellus top" bonnets, selling vegetables, in long, open markets. Every one seems to be scrubbing their white steps. All the houses look like tidy jails, with their outside shutters. Several have crape on the door-handles, and many have flags flying from roof or balcony. Few men appear, and the women seem to do the business, which, perhaps, accounts for its being so well done. Pass fine buildings, but don't know what they are. Would like to stop and see my native city; for, having left it at the tender age of two, my recollections are not vivid. Baltimore.--A big, dirty, shippy, shiftless place, full of goats, geese, colored people, and coal, at least the part of it I see. Pass near the spot where the riot took place, and feel as if I should enjoy throwing a stone at somebody, hard. Find a guard at the ferry, the depot, and here and there, along the road. A camp whitens one hill-side, and a cavalry training school, or whatever it should be called, is a very interesting sight, with quantities of horses and riders galloping, marching, leaping, and skirmishing, over all manner of break-neck places. A party of English people get in--the men, with sandy hair and red whiskers, all trimmed alike, to a hair; rough grey coats, very rosy, clean faces, and a fine, full way of speaking, which is particularly agreeable, after our slip-shod American gabble. The two ladies wear funny velvet fur-trimmed hoods; are done up, like compact bundles, in tar tan shawls; and look as if bent on seeing everything thoroughly. The devotion of one elderly John Bull to his red-nosed spouse was really beautiful to behold. She was plain and cross, and fussy and stupid, but J. B., Esq., read no papers when she was awake, turned no cold shoulder when she wished to sleep, and cheerfully said, "Yes, me dear," to every wish or want the wife of his bosom expressed. I quite warmed to the excellent man, and asked a question or two, as the only means of expressing my good will. He answered very civilly, but evidently hadn't been used to being addressed by strange women in public conveyances; and Mrs. B. fixed her green eyes upon me, as if she thought me a forward hussy, or whatever is good English for a presuming young woman. The pair left their friends before we reached Washington; and the last I saw of them was a vision of a large plaid lady, stalking grimly away, on the arm of a rosy, stout gentleman, loaded with rugs, bags, and books, but still devoted, still smiling, and waving a hearty "Fare ye well! We'll meet ye at Willard's on Chusday." Soon after their departure we had an accident; for no long journey in America would be complete without one. A coupling iron broke; and, after leaving the last car behind us, we waited for it to come up, which it did, with a crash that knocked every one forward on their faces, and caused several old ladies to screech dismally. Hats flew off, bonnets were flattened, the stove skipped, the lamps fell down, the water jar turned a somersault, and the wheel just over which I sat received some damage. Of course, it became necessary for all the men to get out, and stand about in everybody's way, while repairs were made; and for the women to wrestle their heads out of the windows, asking ninety- nine foolish questions to one sensible one. A few wise females seized this favorable moment to better their seats, well knowing that few men can face the wooden stare with which they regard the former possessors of the places they have invaded. The country through which we passed did not seem so very unlike that which I had left, except that it was more level and less wintry. In summer time the wide fields would have shown me new sights, and the way-side hedges blossomed with new flowers; now, everything was sere and sodden, and a general air of shiftlessness prevailed, which would have caused a New England farmer much disgust, and a strong desire to "buckle to," and "right up" things. Dreary little houses, with chimneys built outside, with clay and rough sticks piled crosswise, as we used to build cob towers, stood in barren looking fields, with cow, pig, or mule lounging about the door. We often passed colored people, looking as if they had come out of a picture book, or off the stage, but not at all the sort of people I'd been accustomed to see at the North. Wayside encampments made the fields and lanes gay with blue coats and the glitter of buttons. Military washes flapped and fluttered on the fences; pots were steaming in the open air; all sorts of tableaux seen through the openings of tents, and everywhere the boys threw up their caps and cut capers as we passed. Washington.--It was dark when we arrived; and, but for the presence of another friendly gentleman, I should have yielded myself a helpless prey to the first overpowering hackman, who insisted that I wanted to go just where I didn't. Putting me into the conveyance I belonged in, my escort added to the obligation by pointing out the objects of interest which we passed in our long drive. Though I'd often been told that Washington was a spacious place, its visible magnitude quite took my breath away, and of course I quoted Randolph's expression, "a city of magnificent distances," as I suppose every one does when they see it. The Capitol was so like the pictures that hang opposite the staring Father of his Country, in boarding-houses and hotels, that it did not impress me, except to recall the time when I was sure that Cinderella went to housekeeping in just such a place, after she had married the inflammable Prince; though, even at that early period, I had my doubts as to the wisdom of a match whose foundation was of glass. The White House was lighted up, and carriages were rolling in and out of the great gate. I stared hard at the famous East Room, and would have liked a peep through the crack of the door. My old gentleman was indefatigable in his attentions, and I said, "Splendid!" to everything he pointed out, though I suspect I often admired the wrong place, and missed the right. Pennsylvania Avenue, with its bustle, lights, music, and military, made me feel as if I'd crossed the water and landed somewhere in Carnival time. Coming to less noticeable parts of the city, my companion fell silent, and I meditated upon the perfection which Art had attained in America--having just passed a bronze statue of some hero, who looked like a black Methodist minister, in a cocked hat, above the waist, and a tipsy squire below; while his horse stood like an opera dancer, on one leg, in a high, but somewhat remarkable wind, which blew his mane one way and his massive tail the other. "Hurly-burly House, ma'am!" called a voice, startling me from my reverie, as we stopped before a great pile of buildings, with a flag flying before it, sentinels at the door, and a very trying quantity of men lounging about. My heart beat rather faster than usual, and it suddenly struck me that I was very far from home; but I descended with dignity, wondering whether I should be stopped for want of a countersign, and forced to pass the night in the street. Marching boldly up the steps, I found that no form was necessary, for the men fell back, the guard touched their caps, a boy opened the door, and, as it closed behind me, I felt that I was fairly started, and Nurse Periwinkle's Mission was begun. CHAPTER III: A DAY. "They've come! they've come! hurry up, ladies--you're wanted." "Who have come? the rebels?" This sudden summons in the gray dawn was somewhat startling to a three days' nurse like myself, and, as the thundering knock came at our door, I sprang up in my bed, prepared "To gird my woman's form, And on the ramparts die," if necessary; but my room-mate took it more coolly, and, as she began a rapid toilet, answered my bewildered question,-- "Bless you, no child; it's the wounded from Fredericksburg; forty ambulances are at the door, and we shall have our hands full in fifteen minutes." "What shall we have to do?" "Wash, dress, feed, warm and nurse them for the next three months, I dare say. Eighty beds are ready, and we were getting impatient for the men to come. Now you will begin to see hospital life in earnest, for you won't probably find time to sit down all day, and may think yourself fortunate if you get to bed by midnight. Come to me in the ball-room when you are ready; the worst cases are always carried there, and I shall need your help." So saying, the energetic little woman twirled her hair into a button at the back of her head, in a "cleared for action" sort of style, and vanished, wrestling her way into a feminine kind of pea-jacket as she went. I am free to confess that I had a realizing sense of the fact that my hospital bed was not a bed of roses just then, or the prospect before me one of unmingled rapture. My three days' experiences had begun with a death, and, owing to the defalcation of another nurse, a somewhat abrupt plunge into the superintendence of a ward containing forty beds, where I spent my shining hours washing faces, serving rations, giving medicine, and sitting in a very hard chair, with pneumonia on one side, diphtheria on the other, five typhoids on the opposite, and a dozen dilapidated patriots, hopping, lying, and lounging about, all staring more or less at the new "nuss," who suffered untold agonies, but concealed them under as matronly an aspect as a spinster could assume, and blundered through her trying labors with a Spartan firmness, which I hope they appreciated, but am afraid they didn't. Having a taste for "ghastliness," I had rather longed for the wounded to arrive, for rheumatism wasn't heroic, neither was liver complaint, or measles; even fever had lost its charms since "bathing burning brows" had been used up in romances, real and ideal; but when I peeped into the dusky street lined with what I at first had innocently called market carts, now unloading their sad freight at our door, I recalled sundry reminiscences I had heard from nurses of longer standing, my ardor experienced a sudden chill, and I indulged in a most unpatriotic wish that I was safe at home again, with a quiet day before me, and no necessity for being hustled up, as if I were a hen and had only to hop off my roost, give my plumage a peck, and be ready for action. A second bang at the door sent this recreant desire to the right about, as a little woolly head popped in, and Joey, (a six years' old contraband,) announced-- "Miss Blank is jes' wild fer ye, and says fly round right away. They's comin' in, I tell yer, heaps on 'em--one was took out dead, and I see him,--hi! warn't he a goner!" With which cheerful intelligence the imp scuttled away, singing like a blackbird, and I followed, feeling that Richard was not himself again, and wouldn't be for a long time to come. The first thing I met was a regiment of the vilest odors that ever assaulted the human nose, and took it by storm. Cologne, with its seven and seventy evil savors, was a posy-bed to it; and the worst of this affliction was, every one had assured me that it was a chronic weakness of all hospitals, and I must bear it. I did, armed with lavender water, with which I so besprinkled myself and premises, that, like my friend Sairy, I was soon known among my patients as "the nurse with the bottle." Having been run over by three excited surgeons, bumped against by migratory coal- hods, water-pails, and small boys, nearly scalded by an avalanche of newly-filled tea-pots, and hopelessly entangled in a knot of colored sisters coming to wash, I progressed by slow stages up stairs and down, till the main hall was reached, and I paused to take breath and a survey. There they were! "our brave boys," as the papers justly call them, for cowards could hardly have been so riddled with shot and shell, so torn and shattered, nor have borne suffering for which we have no name, with an uncomplaining fortitude, which made one glad to cherish each as a brother. In they came, some on stretchers, some in men's arms, some feebly staggering along propped on rude crutches, and one lay stark and still with covered face, as a comrade gave his name to be recorded before they carried him away to the dead house. All was hurry and confusion; the hall was full of these wrecks of humanity, for the most exhausted could not reach a bed till duly ticketed and registered; the walls were lined with rows of such as could sit, the floor covered with the more disabled, the steps and doorways filled with helpers and lookers on; the sound of many feet and voices made that usually quiet hour as noisy as noon; and, in the midst of it all, the matron's motherly face brought more comfort to many a poor soul, than the cordial draughts she administered, or the cheery words that welcomed all, making of the hospital a home. The sight of several stretchers, each with its legless, armless, or desperately wounded occupant, entering my ward, admonished me that I was there to work, not to wonder or weep; so I corked up my feelings, and returned to the path of duty, which was rather "a hard road to travel" just then. The house had been a hotel before hospitals were needed, and many of the doors still bore their old names; some not so inappropriate as might be imagined, for my ward was in truth a ball-room, if gun-shot wounds could christen it. Forty beds were prepared, many already tenanted by tired men who fell down anywhere, and drowsed till the smell of food roused them. Round the great stove was gathered the dreariest group I ever saw--ragged, gaunt and pale, mud to the knees, with bloody bandages untouched since put on days before; many bundled up in blankets, coats being lost or useless; and all wearing that disheartened look which proclaimed defeat, more plainly than any telegram of the Burnside blunder. I pitied them so much, I dared not speak to them, though, remembering all they had been through since the route at Fredericksburg, I yearned to serve the dreariest of them all. Presently, Miss Blank tore me from my refuge behind piles of one-sleeved shirts, odd socks, bandages and lint; put basin, sponge, towels, and a block of brown soap into my hands, with these appalling directions: "Come, my dear, begin to wash as fast as you can. Tell them to take off socks, coats and shirts, scrub them well, put on clean shirts, and the attendants will finish them off, and lay them in bed." If she had requested me to shave them all, or dance a hornpipe on the stove funnel, I should have been less staggered; but to scrub some dozen lords of creation at a moment's notice, was really--really--. However, there was no time for nonsense, and, having resolved when I came to do everything I was bid, I drowned my scruples in my wash-bowl, clutched my soap manfully, and, assuming a business-like air, made a dab at the first dirty specimen I saw, bent on performing my task vi et armis if necessary. I chanced to light on a withered old Irishman, wounded in the head, which caused that portion of his frame to be tastefully laid out like a garden, the bandages being the walks, his hair the shrubbery. He was so overpowered by the honor of having a lady wash him, as he expressed it, that he did nothing but roll up his eyes, and bless me, in an irresistible style which was too much for my sense of the ludicrous; so we laughed together, and when I knelt down to take off his shoes, he "flopped" also, and wouldn't hear of my touching "them dirty craters. May your bed above be aisy darlin', for the day's work ye ar doon!--Whoosh! there ye are, and bedad, it's hard tellin' which is the dirtiest, the fut or the shoe." It was; and if he hadn't been to the fore, I should have gone on pulling, under the impression that the "fut" was a boot, for trousers, socks, shoes and legs were a mass of mud. This comical tableau produced a general grin, at which propitious beginning I took heart and scrubbed away like any tidy parent on a Saturday night. Some of them took the performance like sleepy children, leaning their tired heads against me as I worked, others looked grimly scandalized, and several of the roughest colored like bashful girls. One wore a soiled little bag about his neck, and, as I moved it, to bathe his wounded breast, I said, "Your talisman didn't save you, did it?" "Well, I reckon it did, marm, for that shot would a gone a couple a inches deeper but for my old mammy's camphor bag," answered the cheerful philosopher. Another, with a gun-shot wound through the cheek, asked for a looking-glass, and when I brought one, regarded his swollen face with a dolorous expression, as he muttered-- "I vow to gosh, that's too bad! I warn't a bad looking chap before, and now I'm done for; won't there be a thunderin' scar? and what on earth will Josephine Skinner say?" He looked up at me with his one eye so appealingly, that I controlled my risibles, and assured him that if Josephine was a girl of sense, she would admire the honorable scar, as a lasting proof that he had faced the enemy, for all women thought a wound the best decoration a brave soldier could wear. I hope Miss Skinner verified the good opinion I so rashly expressed of her, but I shall never know. The next scrubbee was a nice looking lad, with a curly brown mane, and a budding trace of gingerbread over the lip, which he called his beard, and defended stoutly, when the barber jocosely suggested its immolation. He lay on a bed, with one leg gone, and the right arm so shattered that it must evidently follow: yet the little Sergeant was as merry as if his afflictions were not worth lamenting over; and when a drop or two of salt water mingled with my suds at the sight of this strong young body, so marred and maimed, the boy looked up, with a brave smile, though there was a little quiver of the lips, as he said, "Now don't you fret yourself about me, miss; I'm first rate here, for it's nuts to lie still on this bed, after knocking about in those confounded ambulances, that shake what there is left of a fellow to jelly. I never was in one of these places before, and think this cleaning up a jolly thing for us, though I'm afraid it isn't for you ladies." "Is this your first battle, Sergeant?" "No, miss; I've been in six scrimmages, and never got a scratch till this last one; but it's done the business pretty thoroughly for me, I should say. Lord! what a scramble there'll be for arms and legs, when we old boys come out of our graves, on the Judgment Day: wonder if we shall get our own again? If we do, my leg will have to tramp from Fredericksburg, my arm from here, I suppose, and meet my body, wherever it may be." The fancy seemed to tickle him mightily, for he laughed blithely, and so did I; which, no doubt, caused the new nurse to be regarded as a light-minded sinner by the Chaplain, who roamed vaguely about, informing the men that they were all worms, corrupt of heart, with perishable bodies, and souls only to be saved by a diligent perusal of certain tracts, and other equally cheering bits of spiritual consolation, when spirituous ditto would have been preferred. "I say, Mrs.!" called a voice behind me; and, turning, I saw a rough Michigander, with an arm blown off at the shoulder, and two or three bullets still in him--as he afterwards mentioned, as carelessly as if gentlemen were in the habit of carrying such trifles about with them. I went to him, and, while administering a dose of soap and water, he whispered, irefully: "That red-headed devil, over yonder, is a reb, damn him! You'll agree to that, I'll bet? He's got shet of a foot, or he'd a cut like the rest of the lot. Don't you wash him, nor feed him, but jest let him holler till he's tired. It's a blasted shame to fetch them fellers in here, along side of us; and so I'll tell the chap that bosses this concern; cuss me if I don't." I regret to say that I did not deliver a moral sermon upon the duty of forgiving our enemies, and the sin of profanity, then and there; but, being a red-hot Abolitionist, stared fixedly at the tall rebel, who was a copperhead, in every sense of the word, and privately resolved to put soap in his eyes, rub his nose the wrong way, and excoriate his cuticle generally, if I had the washing of him. My amiable intentions, however, were frustrated; for, when I approached, with as Christian an expression as my principles would allow, and asked the question--"Shall I try to make you more comfortable, sir?" all I got for my pains was a gruff-- "No; I'll do it myself." "Here's your Southern chivalry, with a witness," thought I, dumping the basin down before him, thereby quenching a strong desire to give him a summary baptism, in return for his ungraciousness; for my angry passions rose, at this rebuff, in a way that would have scandalized good Dr. Watts. He was a disappointment in all respects, (the rebel, not the blessed Doctor,) for he was neither fiendish, romantic, pathetic, or anything interesting; but a long, fat man, with a head like a burning bush, and a perfectly expressionless face: so I could dislike him without the slightest drawback, and ignored his existence from that day forth. One redeeming trait he certainly did possess, as the floor speedily testified; for his ablutions were so vigorously performed, that his bed soon stood like an isolated island, in a sea of soap-suds, and he resembled a dripping merman, suffering from the loss of a fin. If cleanliness is a near neighbor to godliness, then was the big rebel the godliest man in my ward that day. Having done up our human wash, and laid it out to dry, the second syllable of our version of the word war-fare was enacted with much success. Great trays of bread, meat, soup and coffee appeared; and both nurses and attendants turned waiters, serving bountiful rations to all who could eat. I can call my pinafore to testify to my good will in the work, for in ten minutes it was reduced to a perambulating bill of fare, presenting samples of all the refreshments going or gone. It was a lively scene; the long room lined with rows of beds, each filled by an occupant, whom water, shears, and clean raiment, had transformed from a dismal ragamuffin into a recumbent hero, with a cropped head. To and fro rushed matrons, maids, and convalescent "boys," skirmishing with knives and forks; retreating with empty plates; marching and counter-marching, with unvaried success, while the clash of busy spoons made most inspiring music for the charge of our Light Brigade: "Beds to the front of them, Beds to the right of them, Beds to the left of them, Nobody blundered. Beamed at by hungry souls, Screamed at with brimming bowls, Steamed at by army rolls, Buttered and sundered. With coffee not cannon plied, Each must be satisfied, Whether they lived or died; All the men wondered." Very welcome seemed the generous meal, after a week of suffering, exposure, and short commons; soon the brown faces began to smile, as food, warmth, and rest, did their pleasant work; and the grateful "Thankee's" were followed by more graphic accounts of the battle and retreat, than any paid reporter could have given us. Curious contrasts of the tragic and comic met one everywhere; and some touching as well as ludicrous episodes, might have been recorded that day. A six foot New Hampshire man, with a leg broken and perforated by a piece of shell, so large that, had I not seen the wound, I should have regarded the story as a Munchausenism, beckoned me to come and help him, as he could not sit up, and both his bed and beard were getting plentifully anointed with soup. As I fed my big nestling with corresponding mouthfuls, I asked him how he felt during the battle. "Well, 'twas my fust, you see, so I aint ashamed to say I was a trifle flustered in the beginnin', there was such an allfired racket; for ef there's anything I do spleen agin, it's noise. But when my mate, Eph Sylvester, caved, with a bullet through his head, I got mad, and pitched in, licketty cut. Our part of the fight didn't last long; so a lot of us larked round Fredericksburg, and give some of them houses a pretty consid'able of a rummage, till we was ordered out of the mess. Some of our fellows cut like time; but I warn't a-goin' to run for nobody; and, fust thing I knew, a shell bust, right in front of us, and I keeled over, feelin' as if I was blowed higher'n a kite. I sung out, and the boys come back for me, double quick; but the way they chucked me over them fences was a caution, I tell you. Next day I was most as black as that darkey yonder, lickin' plates on the sly. This is bully coffee, ain't it? Give us another pull at it, and I'll be obleeged to you." I did; and, as the last gulp subsided, he said, with a rub of his old handkerchief over eyes as well as mouth: "Look a here; I've got a pair a earbobs and a handkercher pin I'm a goin' to give you, if you'll have them; for you're the very moral o' Lizy Sylvester, poor Eph's wife: that's why I signalled you to come over here. They aint much, I guess, but they'll do to memorize the rebs by." Burrowing under his pillow, he produced a little bundle of what he called "truck," and gallantly presented me with a pair of earrings, each representing a cluster of corpulent grapes, and the pin a basket of astonishing fruit, the whole large and coppery enough for a small warming-pan. Feeling delicate about depriving him of such valuable relics, I accepted the earrings alone, and was obliged to depart, somewhat abruptly, when my friend stuck the warming-pan in the bosom of his night-gown, viewing it with much complacency, and, perhaps, some tender memory, in that rough heart of his, for the comrade he had lost. Observing that the man next him had left his meal untouched, I offered the same service I had performed for his neighbor, but he shook his head. "Thank you, ma'am; I don't think I'll ever eat again, for I'm shot in the stomach. But I'd like a drink of water, if you aint too busy." I rushed away, but the water-pails were gone to be refilled, and it was some time before they reappeared. I did not forget my patient patient, meanwhile, and, with the first mugful, hurried back to him. He seemed asleep; but something in the tired white face caused me to listen at his lips for a breath. None came. I touched his forehead; it was cold: and then I knew that, while he waited, a better nurse than I had given him a cooler draught, and healed him with a touch. I laid the sheet over the quiet sleeper, whom no noise could now disturb; and, half an hour later, the bed was empty. It seemed a poor requital for all he had sacrificed and suffered,--that hospital bed, lonely even in a crowd; for there was no familiar face for him to look his last upon; no friendly voice to say, Good bye; no hand to lead him gently down into the Valley of the Shadow; and he vanished, like a drop in that red sea upon whose shores so many women stand lamenting. For a moment I felt bitterly indignant at this seeming carelessness of the value of life, the sanctity of death; then consoled myself with the thought that, when the great muster roll was called, these nameless men might be promoted above many whose tall monuments record the barren honors they have won. All having eaten, drank, and rested, the surgeons began their rounds; and I took my first lesson in the art of dressing wounds. It wasn't a festive scene, by any means; for Dr P., whose Aid I constituted myself, fell to work with a vigor which soon convinced me that I was a weaker vessel, though nothing would have induced me to confess it then. He had served in the Crimea, and seemed to regard a dilapidated body very much as I should have regarded a damaged garment; and, turning up his cuffs, whipped out a very unpleasant looking housewife, cutting, sawing, patching and piecing, with the enthusiasm of an accomplished surgical seamstress; explaining the process, in scientific terms, to the patient, meantime; which, of course, was immensely cheering and comfortable. There was an uncanny sort of fascination in watching him, as he peered and probed into the mechanism of those wonderful bodies, whose mysteries he understood so well. The more intricate the wound, the better he liked it. A poor private, with both legs off, and shot through the lungs, possessed more attractions for him than a dozen generals, slightly scratched in some "masterly retreat;" and had any one appeared in small pieces, requesting to be put together again, he would have considered it a special dispensation. The amputations were reserved till the morrow, and the merciful magic of ether was not thought necessary that day, so the poor souls had to bear their pains as best they might. It is all very well to talk of the patience of woman; and far be it from me to pluck that feather from her cap, for, heaven knows, she isn't allowed to wear many; but the patient endurance of these men, under trials of the flesh, was truly wonderful. Their fortitude seemed contagious, and scarcely a cry escaped them, though I often longed to groan for them, when pride kept their white lips shut, while great drops stood upon their foreheads, and the bed shook with the irrepressible tremor of their tortured bodies. One or two Irishmen anathematized the doctors with the frankness of their nation, and ordered the Virgin to stand by them, as if she had been the wedded Biddy to whom they could administer the poker, if she didn't; but, as a general thing, the work went on in silence, broken only by some quiet request for roller, instruments, or plaster, a sigh from the patient, or a sympathizing murmur from the nurse. It was long past noon before these repairs were even partially made; and, having got the bodies of my boys into something like order, the next task was to minister to their minds, by writing letters to the anxious souls at home; answering questions, reading papers, taking possession of money and valuables; for the eighth commandment was reduced to a very fragmentary condition, both by the blacks and whites, who ornamented our hospital with their presence. Pocket books, purses, miniatures, and watches, were sealed up, labelled, and handed over to the matron, till such times as the owners thereof were ready to depart homeward or campward again. The letters dictated to me, and revised by me, that afternoon, would have made an excellent chapter for some future history of the war; for, like that which Thackeray's "Ensign Spooney" wrote his mother just before Waterloo, they were "full of affection, pluck, and bad spelling;" nearly all giving lively accounts of the battle, and ending with a somewhat sudden plunge from patriotism to provender, desiring "Marm," "Mary Ann," or "Aunt Peters," to send along some pies, pickles, sweet stuff, and apples, "to yourn in haste," Joe, Sam, or Ned, as the case might be. My little Sergeant insisted on trying to scribble something with his left hand, and patiently accomplished some half dozen lines of hieroglyphics, which he gave me to fold and direct, with a boyish blush, that rendered a glimpse of "My Dearest Jane," unnecessary, to assure me that the heroic lad had been more successful in the service of Commander-in-Chief Cupid than that of Gen. Mars; and a charming little romance blossomed instanter in Nurse Periwinkle's romantic fancy, though no further confidences were made that day, for Sergeant fell asleep, and, judging from his tranquil face, visited his absent sweetheart in the pleasant land of dreams. At five o'clock a great bell rang, and the attendants flew, not to arms, but to their trays, to bring up supper, when a second uproar announced that it was ready. The new comers woke at the sound; and I presently discovered that it took a very bad wound to incapacitate the defenders of the faith for the consumption of their rations; the amount that some of them sequestered was amazing; but when I suggested the probability of a famine hereafter, to the matron, that motherly lady cried out: "Bless their hearts, why shouldn't they eat? It's their only amusement; so fill every one, and, if there's not enough ready to-night, I'll lend my share to the Lord by giving it to the boys." And, whipping up her coffee-pot and plate of toast, she gladdened the eyes and stomachs of two or three dissatisfied heroes, by serving them with a liberal hand; and I haven't the slightest doubt that, having cast her bread upon the waters, it came back buttered, as another large-hearted old lady was wont to say. Then came the doctor's evening visit; the administration of medicines; washing feverish faces; smoothing tumbled beds; wetting wounds; singing lullabies; and preparations for the night. By eleven, the last labor of love was done; the last "good night" spoken; and, if any needed a reward for that day's work, they surely received it, in the silent eloquence of those long lines of faces, showing pale and peaceful in the shaded rooms, as we quitted them, followed by grateful glances that lighted us to bed, where rest, the sweetest, made our pillows soft, while Night and Nature took our places, filling that great house of pain with the healing miracles of Sleep, and his diviner brother, Death. CHAPTER IV: A NIGHT. Being fond of the night side of nature, I was soon promoted to the post of night nurse, with every facility for indulging in my favorite pastime of "owling." My colleague, a black-eyed widow, relieved me at dawn, we two taking care of the ward, between us, like the immortal Sairy and Betsey, "turn and turn about." I usually found my boys in the jolliest state of mind their condition allowed; for it was a known fact that Nurse Periwinkle objected to blue devils, and entertained a belief that he who laughed most was surest of recovery. At the beginning of my reign, dumps and dismals prevailed; the nurses looked anxious and tired, the men gloomy or sad; and a general "Hark!-from-the- tombs-a-doleful-sound" style of conversation seemed to be the fashion: a state of things which caused one coming from a merry, social New England town, to feel as if she had got into an exhausted receiver; and the instinct of self-preservation, to say nothing of a philanthropic desire to serve the race, caused a speedy change in Ward No. 1. More flattering than the most gracefully turned compliment, more grateful than the most admiring glance, was the sight of those rows of faces, all strange to me a little while ago, now lighting up, with smiles of welcome, as I came among them, enjoying that moment heartily, with a womanly pride in their regard, a motherly affection for them all. The evenings were spent in reading aloud, writing letters, waiting on and amusing the men, going the rounds with Dr. P., as he made his second daily survey, dressing my dozen wounds afresh, giving last doses, and making them cozy for the long hours to come, till the nine o'clock bell rang, the gas was turned down, the day nurses went off duty, the night watch came on, and my nocturnal adventure began. My ward was now divided into three rooms; and, under favor of the matron, I had managed to sort out the patients in such a way that I had what I called, "my duty room," my "pleasure room," and my "pathetic room," and worked for each in a different way. One, I visited, armed with a dressing tray, full of rollers, plasters, and pins; another, with books, flowers, games, and gossip; a third, with teapots, lullabies, consolation, and sometimes, a shroud. Wherever the sickest or most helpless man chanced to be, there I held my watch, often visiting the other rooms, to see that the general watchman of the ward did his duty by the fires and the wounds, the latter needing constant wetting. Not only on this account did I meander, but also to get fresher air than the close rooms afforded; for, owing to the stupidity of that mysterious "somebody" who does all the damage in the world, the windows had been carefully nailed down above, and the lower sashes could only be raised in the mildest weather, for the men lay just below. I had suggested a summary smashing of a few panes here and there, when frequent appeals to headquarters had proved unavailing, and daily orders to lazy attendants had come to nothing. No one seconded the motion, however, and the nails were far beyond my reach; for, though belonging to the sisterhood of "ministering angels," I had no wings, and might as well have asked for Jacob's ladder, as a pair of steps, in that charitable chaos. One of the harmless ghosts who bore me company during the haunted hours, was Dan, the watchman, whom I regarded with a certain awe; for, though so much together, I never fairly saw his face, and, but for his legs, should never have recognized him, as we seldom met by day. These legs were remarkable, as was his whole figure, for his body was short, rotund, and done up in a big jacket, and muffler; his beard hid the lower part of his face, his hat-brim the upper; and all I ever discovered was a pair of sleepy eyes, and a very mild voice. But the legs!--very long, very thin, very crooked and feeble, looking like grey sausages in their tight coverings, without a ray of pegtopishness about them, and finished off with a pair of expansive, green cloth shoes, very like Chinese junks, with the sails down. This figure, gliding noiselessly about the dimly lighted rooms, was strongly suggestive of the spirit of a beer barrel mounted on cork-screws, haunting the old hotel in search of its lost mates, emptied and staved in long ago. Another goblin who frequently appeared to me, was the attendant of the pathetic room, who, being a faithful soul, was often up to tend two or three men, weak and wandering as babies, after the fever had gone. The amiable creature beguiled the watches of the night by brewing jorums of a fearful beverage, which he called coffee, and insisted on sharing with me; coming in with a great bowl of something like mud soup, scalding hot, guiltless of cream, rich in an all-pervading flavor of molasses, scorch and tin pot. Such an amount of good will and neighborly kindness also went into the mess, that I never could find the heart to refuse, but always received it with thanks, sipped it with hypocritical relish while he remained, and whipped it into the slop-jar the instant he departed, thereby gratifying him, securing one rousing laugh in the doziest hour of the night, and no one was the worse for the transaction but the pigs. Whether they were "cut off untimely in their sins," or not, I carefully abstained from inquiring. It was a strange life--asleep half the day, exploring Washington the other half, and all night hovering, like a massive cherubim, in a red rigolette, over the slumbering sons of man. I liked it, and found many things to amuse, instruct, and interest me. The snores alone were quite a study, varying from the mild sniff to the stentorian snort, which startled the echoes and hoisted the performer erect to accuse his neighbor of the deed, magnanimously forgive him, and wrapping the drapery of his couch about him, lie down to vocal slumber. After listening for a week to this band of wind instruments, I indulged in the belief that I could recognize each by the snore alone, and was tempted to join the chorus by breaking out with John Brown's favorite hymn: "Blow ye the trumpet, blow!" I would have given much to have possessed the art of sketching, for many of the faces became wonderfully interesting when unconscious. Some grew stern and grim, the men evidently dreaming of war, as they gave orders, groaned over their wounds, or damned the rebels vigorously; some grew sad and infinitely pathetic, as if the pain borne silently all day, revenged itself by now betraying what the man's pride had concealed so well. Often the roughest grew young and pleasant when sleep smoothed the hard lines away, letting the real nature assert itself; many almost seemed to speak, and I learned to know these men better by night than through any intercourse by day. Sometimes they disappointed me, for faces that looked merry and good in the light, grew bad and sly when the shadows came; and though they made no confidences in words, I read their lives, leaving them to wonder at the change of manner this midnight magic wrought in their nurse. A few talked busily; one drummer boy sang sweetly, though no persuasions could win a note from him by day; and several depended on being told what they had talked of in the morning. Even my constitutionals in the chilly halls, possessed a certain charm, for the house was never still. Sentinels tramped round it all night long, their muskets glittering in the wintry moonlight as they walked, or stood before the doors, straight and silent, as figures of stone, causing one to conjure up romantic visions of guarded forts, sudden surprises, and daring deeds; for in these war times the hum drum life of Yankeedom had vanished, and the most prosaic feel some thrill of that excitement which stirs the nation's heart, and makes its capital a camp of hospitals. Wandering up and down these lower halls, I often heard cries from above, steps hurrying to and fro, saw surgeons passing up, or men coming down carrying a stretcher, where lay a long white figure, whose face was shrouded and whose fight was done. Sometimes I stopped to watch the passers in the street, the moonlight shining on the spire opposite, or the gleam of some vessel floating, like a white-winged sea-gull, down the broad Potomac, whose fullest flow can never wash away the red stain of the land. The night whose events I have a fancy to record, opened with a little comedy, and closed with a great tragedy; for a virtuous and useful life untimely ended is always tragical to those who see not as God sees. My headquarters were beside the bed of a New Jersey boy, crazed by the horrors of that dreadful Saturday. A slight wound in the knee brought him there; but his mind had suffered more than his body; some string of that delicate machine was over strained, and, for days, he had been reliving in imagination, the scenes he could not forget, till his distress broke out in incoherent ravings, pitiful to hear. As I sat by him, endeavoring to soothe his poor distracted brain by the constant touch of wet hands over his hot forehead, he lay cheering his comrades on, hurrying them back, then counting them as they fell around him, often clutching my arm, to drag me from the vicinity of a bursting shell, or covering up his head to screen himself from a shower of shot; his face brilliant with fever; his eyes restless; his head never still; every muscle strained and rigid; while an incessant stream of defiant shouts, whispered warnings, and broken laments, poured from his lips with that forceful bewilderment which makes such wanderings so hard to overhear. It was past eleven, and my patient was slowly wearying himself into fitful intervals of quietude, when, in one of these pauses, a curious sound arrested my attention. Looking over my shoulder, I saw a one-legged phantom hopping nimbly down the room; and, going to meet it, recognized a certain Pennsylvania gentleman, whose wound-fever had taken a turn for the worse, and, depriving him of the few wits a drunken campaign had left him, set him literally tripping on the light, fantastic toe "toward home," as he blandly informed me, touching the military cap which formed a striking contrast to the severe simplicity of the rest of his decidedly undress uniform. When sane, the least movement produced a roar of pain or a volley of oaths; but the departure of reason seemed to have wrought an agreeable change, both in the man and his manners; for, balancing himself on one leg, like a meditative stork, he plunged into an animated discussion of the war, the President, lager beer, and Enfield rifles, regardless of any suggestions of mine as to the propriety of returning to bed, lest he be court-martialed for desertion. Anything more supremely ridiculous can hardly be imagined than this figure, scantily draped in white, its one foot covered with a big blue sock, a dingy cap set rakingly askew on its shaven head, and placid satisfaction beaming in its broad red face, as it flourished a mug in one hand, an old boot in the other, calling them canteen and knapsack, while it skipped and fluttered in the most unearthly fashion. What to do with the creature I didn't know; Dan was absent, and if I went to find him, the perambulator might festoon himself out of the window, set his toga on fire, or do some of his neighbors a mischief. The attendant of the room was sleeping like a near relative of the celebrated Seven, and nothing short of pins would rouse him; for he had been out that day, and whiskey asserted its supremacy in balmy whiffs. Still declaiming, in a fine flow of eloquence, the demented gentleman hopped on, blind and deaf to my graspings and entreaties; and I was about to slam the door in his face, and run for help, when a second and saner phantom, "all in white," came to the rescue, in the likeness of a big Prussian, who spoke no English, but divined the crisis, and put an end to it, by bundling the lively monoped into his bed, like a baby, with an authoritative command to "stay put," which received added weight from being delivered in an odd conglomeration of French and German, accompanied by warning wags of a head decorated with a yellow cotton night cap, rendered most imposing by a tassel like a bell-pull. Rather exhausted by his excursion, the member from Pennsylvania subsided; and, after an irrepressible laugh together, my Prussian ally and myself were returning to our places, when the echo of a sob caused us to glance along the beds. It came from one in the corner--such a little bed!--and such a tearful little face looked up at us, as we stopped beside it! The twelve years old drummer boy was not singing now, but sobbing, with a manly effort all the while to stifle the distressful sounds that would break out. "What is it, Teddy?" I asked, as he rubbed the tears away, and checked himself in the middle of a great sob to answer plaintively: "I've got a chill, ma'am, but I ain't cryin' for that, 'cause I'm used to it. I dreamed Kit was here, and when I waked up he wasn't, and I couldn't help it, then." The boy came in with the rest, and the man who was taken dead from the ambulance was the Kit he mourned. Well he might; for, when the wounded were brought from Fredericksburg, the child lay in one of the camps thereabout, and this good friend, though sorely hurt himself, would not leave him to the exposure and neglect of such a time and place; but, wrapping him in his own blanket, carried him in his arms to the transport, tended him during the passage, and only yielded up his charge when Death met him at the door of the hospital which promised care and comfort for the boy. For ten days, Teddy had shivered or burned with fever and ague, pining the while for Kit, and refusing to be comforted, because he had not been able to thank him for the generous protection, which, perhaps, had cost the giver's life. The vivid dream had wrung the childish heart with a fresh pang, and when I tried the solace fitted for his years, the remorseful fear that haunted him found vent in a fresh burst of tears, as he looked at the wasted hands I was endeavoring to warm: "Oh! if I'd only been as thin when Kit carried me as I am now, maybe he wouldn't have died; but I was heavy, he was hurt worser than we knew, and so it killed him; and I didn't see him, to say good bye." This thought had troubled him in secret; and my assurances that his friend would probably have died at all events, hardly assuaged the bitterness of his regretful grief. At this juncture, the delirious man began to shout; the one- legged rose up in his bed, as if preparing for another dart, Teddy bewailed himself more piteously than before: and if ever a woman was at her wit's end, that distracted female was Nurse Periwinkle, during the space of two or three minutes, as she vibrated between the three beds, like an agitated pendulum. Like a most opportune reinforcement, Dan, the bandy, appeared, and devoted himself to the lively party, leaving me free to return to my post; for the Prussian, with a nod and a smile, took the lad away to his own bed, and lulled him to sleep with a soothing murmur, like a mammoth humble bee. I liked that in Fritz, and if he ever wondered afterward at the dainties which sometimes found their way into his rations, or the extra comforts of his bed, he might have found a solution of the mystery in sundry persons' knowledge of the fatherly action of that night. Hardly was I settled again, when the inevitable bowl appeared, and its bearer delivered a message I had expected, yet dreaded to receive: "John is going, ma'am, and wants to see you, if you can come." "The moment this boy is asleep; tell him so, and let me know if I am in danger of being too late." My Ganymede departed, and while I quieted poor Shaw, I thought of John. He came in a day or two after the others; and, one evening, when I entered my "pathetic room," I found a lately emptied bed occupied by a large, fair man, with a fine face, and the serenest eyes I ever met. One of the earlier comers had often spoken of a friend, who had remained behind, that those apparently worse wounded than himself might reach a shelter first. It seemed a David and Jonathan sort of friendship. The man fretted for his mate, and was never tired of praising John--his courage, sobriety, self-denial, and unfailing kindliness of heart; always winding up with: "He's an out an' out fine feller, ma'am; you see if he aint." I had some curiosity to behold this piece of excellence, and when he came, watched him for a night or two, before I made friends with him; for, to tell the truth, I was a little afraid of the stately looking man, whose bed had to be lengthened to accommodate his commanding stature; who seldom spoke, uttered no complaint, asked no sympathy, but tranquilly observed what went on about him; and, as he lay high upon his pillows, no picture of dying stateman or warrior was ever fuller of real dignity than this Virginia blacksmith. A most attractive face he had, framed in brown hair and beard, comely featured and full of vigor, as yet unsubdued by pain; thoughtful and often beautifully mild while watching the afflictions of others, as if entirely forgetful of his own. His mouth was grave and firm, with plenty of will and courage in its lines, but a smile could make it as sweet as any woman's; and his eyes were child's eyes, looking one fairly in the face, with a clear, straightforward glance, which promised well for such as placed their faith in him. He seemed to cling to life, as if it were rich in duties and delights, and he had learned the secret of content. The only time I saw his composure disturbed, was when my surgeon brought another to examine John, who scrutinized their faces with an anxious look, asking of the elder: "Do you think I shall pull through, sir?" "I hope so, my man." And, as the two passed on, John's eye still followed them, with an intentness which would have won a clearer answer from them, had they seen it. A momentary shadow flitted over his face; then came the usual serenity, as if, in that brief eclipse, he had acknowledged the existence of some hard possibility, and, asking nothing yet hoping all things, left the issue in God's hands, with that submission which is true piety. The next night, as I went my rounds with Dr. P., I happened to ask which man in the room probably suffered most; and, to my great surprise, he glanced at John: "Every breath he draws is like a stab; for the ball pierced the left lung, broke a rib, and did no end of damage here and there; so the poor lad can find neither forgetfulness nor ease, because he must lie on his wounded back or suffocate. It will be a hard struggle, and a long one, for he possesses great vitality; but even his temperate life can't save him; I wish it could." "You don't mean he must die, Doctor?" "Bless you there's not the slightest hope for him; and you'd better tell him so before long; women have a way of doing such things comfortably, so I leave it to you. He won't last more than a day or two, at furthest." I could have sat down on the spot and cried heartily, if I had not learned the wisdom of bottling up one's tears for leisure moments. Such an end seemed very hard for such a man, when half a dozen worn out, worthless bodies round him, were gathering up the remnants of wasted lives, to linger on for years perhaps, burdens to others, daily reproaches to themselves. The army needed men like John, earnest, brave, and faithful; fighting for liberty and justice with both heart and hand, true soldiers of the Lord. I could not give him up so soon, or think with any patience of so excellent a nature robbed of its fulfillment, and blundered into eternity by the rashness or stupidity of those at whose hands so many lives may be required. It was an easy thing for Dr. P. to say: "Tell him he must die," but a cruelly hard thing to do, and by no means as "comfortable" as he politely suggested. I had not the heart to do it then, and privately indulged the hope that some change for the better might take place, in spite of gloomy prophesies; so, rendering my task unnecessary. A few minutes later, as I came in again, with fresh rollers, I saw John sitting erect, with no one to support him, while the surgeon dressed his back. I had never hitherto seen it done; for, having simpler wounds to attend to, and knowing the fidelity of the attendant, I had left John to him, thinking it might be more agreeable and safe; for both strength and experience were needed in his case. I had forgotten that the strong man might long for the gentle tendance of a woman's hands, the sympathetic magnetism of a woman's presence, as well as the feebler souls about him. The Doctor's words caused me to reproach myself with neglect, not of any real duty perhaps, but of those little cares and kindnesses that solace homesick spirits, and make the heavy hours pass easier. John looked lonely and forsaken just then, as he sat with bent head, hands folded on his knee, and no outward sign of suffering, till, looking nearer, I saw great tears roll down and drop upon the floor. It was a new sight there; for, though I had seen many suffer, some swore, some groaned, most endured silently, but none wept. Yet it did not seem weak, only very touching, and straightway my fear vanished, my heart opened wide and took him in, as, gathering the bent head in my arms, as freely as if he had been a little child, I said, "Let me help you bear it, John." Never, on any human countenance, have I seen so swift and beautiful a look of gratitude, surprise and comfort, as that which answered me more eloquently than the whispered-- "Thank you, ma'am, this is right good! this is what I wanted!" "Then why not ask for it before?" "I didn't like to be a trouble; you seemed so busy, and I could manage to get on alone." "You shall not want it any more, John." Nor did he; for now I understood the wistful look that sometimes followed me, as I went out, after a brief pause beside his bed, or merely a passing nod, while busied with those who seemed to need me more than he, because more urgent in their demands; now I knew that to him, as to so many, I was the poor substitute for mother, wife, or sister, and in his eyes no stranger, but a friend who hitherto had seemed neglectful; for, in his modesty, he had never guessed the truth. This was changed now; and, through the tedious operation of probing, bathing, and dressing his wounds, he leaned against me, holding my hand fast, and, if pain wrung further tears from him, no one saw them fall but me. When he was laid down again, I hovered about him, in a remorseful state of mind that would not let me rest, till I had bathed his face, brushed his "bonny brown hair," set all things smooth about him, and laid a knot of heath and heliotrope on his clean pillow. While doing this, he watched me with the satisfied expression I so liked to see; and when I offered the little nosegay, held it carefully in his great hand, smoothed a ruffled leaf or two, surveyed and smelt it with an air of genuine delight, and lay contentedly regarding the glimmer of the sunshine on the green. Although the manliest man among my forty, he said, "Yes, ma'am," like a little boy; received suggestions for his comfort with the quick smile that brightened his whole face; and now and then, as I stood tidying the table by his bed, I felt him softly touch my gown, as if to assure himself that I was there. Anything more natural and frank I never saw, and found this brave John as bashful as brave, yet full of excellencies and fine aspirations, which, having no power to express themselves in words, seemed to have bloomed into his character and made him what he was. After that night, an hour of each evening that remained to him was devoted to his ease or pleasure. He could not talk much, for breath was precious, and he spoke in whispers; but from occasional conversations, I gleaned scraps of private history which only added to the affection and respect I felt for him. Once he asked me to write a letter, and as I settled pen and paper, I said, with an irrepressible glimmer of feminine curiosity, "Shall it be addressed to wife, or mother, John?" "Neither, ma'am; I've got no wife, and will write to mother myself when I get better. Did you think I was married because of this?" he asked, touching a plain ring he wore, and often turned thoughtfully on his finger when he lay alone. "Partly that, but more from a settled sort of look you have; a look which young men seldom get until they marry." "I didn't know that; but I'm not so very young, ma'am, thirty in May, and have been what you might call settled this ten years; for mother's a widow, I'm the oldest child she has, and it wouldn't do for me to marry until Lizzy has a home of her own, and Laurie's learned his trade; for we're not rich, and I must be father to the children and husband to the dear old woman, if I can." "No doubt but you are both, John; yet how came you to go to war, if you felt so? Wasn't enlisting as bad as marrying?" "No, ma'am, not as I see it, for one is helping my neighbor, the other pleasing myself. I went because I couldn't help it. I didn't want the glory or the pay; I wanted the right thing done, and people kept saying the men who were in earnest ought to fight. I was in earnest, the Lord knows! but I held off as long as I could, not knowing which was my duty; mother saw the case, gave me her ring to keep me steady, and said 'Go:' so I went." A short story and a simple one, but the man and the mother were portrayed better than pages of fine writing could have done it. "Do you ever regret that you came, when you lie here suffering so much?" "Never, ma'am; I haven't helped a great deal, but I've shown I was willing to give my life, and perhaps I've got to; but I don't blame anybody, and if it was to do over again, I'd do it. I'm a little sorry I wasn't wounded in front; it looks cowardly to be hit in the back, but I obeyed orders, and it don't matter in the end, I know." Poor John! it did not matter now, except that a shot in the front might have spared the long agony in store for him. He seemed to read the thought that troubled me, as he spoke so hopefully when there was no hope, for he suddenly added: "This is my first battle; do they think it's going to be my last?" "I'm afraid they do, John." It was the hardest question I had ever been called upon to answer; doubly hard with those clear eyes fixed on mine, forcing a truthful answer by their own truth. He seemed a little startled at first, pondered over the fateful fact a moment, then shook his head, with a glance at the broad chest and muscular limbs stretched out before him: "I'm not afraid, but it's difficult to believe all at once. I'm so strong it don't seem possible for such a little wound to kill me." Merry Mercutio's dying words glanced through my memory as he spoke: "'Tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church door, but 'tis enough." And John would have said the same could he have seen the ominous black holes between his shoulders; he never had; and, seeing the ghastly sights about him, could not believe his own wound more fatal than these, for all the suffering it caused him. "Shall I write to your mother, now?" I asked, thinking that these sudden tidings might change all plans and purposes; but they did not; for the man received the order of the Divine Commander to march with the same unquestioning obedience with which the soldier had received that of the human one; doubtless remembering that the first led him to life, and the last to death. "No, ma'am; to Laurie just the same; he'll break it to her best, and I'll add a line to her myself when you get done." So I wrote the letter which he dictated, finding it better than any I had sent; for, though here and there a little ungrammatical or inelegant, each sentence came to me briefly worded, but most expressive; full of excellent counsel to the boy, tenderly bequeathing "mother and Lizzie" to his care, and bidding him good bye in words the sadder for their simplicity. He added a few lines, with steady hand, and, as I sealed it, said, with a patient sort of sigh, "I hope the answer will come in time for me to see it;" then, turning away his face, laid the flowers against his lips, as if to hide some quiver of emotion at the thought of such a sudden sundering of all the dear home ties. These things had happened two days before; now John was dying, and the letter had not come. I had been summoned to many death beds in my life, but to none that made my heart ache as it did then, since my mother called me to watch the departure of a spirit akin to this in its gentleness and patient strength. As I went in, John stretched out both hands: "I know you'd come! I guess I'm moving on, ma'am." He was; and so rapidly that, even while he spoke, over his face I saw the grey veil falling that no human hand can lift. I sat down by him, wiped the drops from his forehead, stirred the air about him with the slow wave of a fan, and waited to help him die. He stood in sore need of help--and I could do so little; for, as the doctor had foretold, the strong body rebelled against death, and fought every inch of the way, forcing him to draw each breath with a spasm, and clench his hands with an imploring look, as if he asked, "How long must I endure this, and be still!" For hours he suffered dumbly, without a moment's respire, or a moment's murmuring; his limbs grew cold, his face damp, his lips white, and, again and again, he tore the covering off his breast, as if the lightest weight added to his agony; yet through it all, his eyes never lost their perfect serenity, and the man's soul seemed to sit therein, undaunted by the ills that vexed his flesh. One by one, the men woke, and round the room appeared a circle of pale faces and watchful eyes, full of awe and pity; for, though a stranger, John was beloved by all. Each man there had wondered at his patience, respected his piety, admired his fortitude, and now lamented his hard death; for the influence of an upright nature had made itself deeply felt, even in one little week. Presently, the Jonathan who so loved this comely David, came creeping from his bed for a last look and word. The kind soul was full of trouble, as the choke in his voice, the grasp of his hand, betrayed; but there were no tears, and the farewell of the friends was the more touching for its brevity. "Old boy, how are you?" faltered the one. "Most through, thank heaven!" whispered the other. "Can I say or do anything for you anywheres?" "Take my things home, and tell them that I did my best." "I will! I will!" "Good bye, Ned." "Good bye, John, good bye!" They kissed each other, tenderly as women, and so parted, for poor Ned could not stay to see his comrade die. For a little while, there was no sound in the room but the drip of water, from a stump or two, and John's distressful gasps, as he slowly breathed his life away. I thought him nearly gone, and had just laid down the fan, believing its help to be no longer needed, when suddenly he rose up in his bed, and cried out with a bitter cry that broke the silence, sharply startling every one with its agonized appeal: "For God's sake, give me air!" It was the only cry pain or death had wrung from him, the only boon he had asked; and none of us could grant it, for all the airs that blew were useless now. Dan flung up the window. The first red streak of dawn was warming the grey east, a herald of the coming sun; John saw it, and with the love of light which lingers in us to the end, seemed to read in it a sign of hope of help, for, over his whole face there broke that mysterious expression, brighter than any smile, which often comes to eyes that look their last. He laid himself gently down; and, stretching out his strong right arm, as if to grasp and bring the blessed air to his lips in a fuller flow, lapsed into a merciful unconsciousness, which assured us that for him suffering was forever past. He died then; for, though the heavy breaths still tore their way up for a little longer, they were but the waves of an ebbing tide that beat unfelt against the wreck, which an immortal voyager had deserted with a smile. He never spoke again, but to the end held my hand close, so close that when he was asleep at last, I could not draw it away. Dan helped me, warning me as he did so that it was unsafe for dead and living flesh to lie so long together; but though my hand was strangely cold and stiff, and four white marks remained across its back, even when warmth and color had returned elsewhere, I could not but be glad that, through its touch, the presence of human sympathy, perhaps, had lightened that hard hour. When they had made him ready for the grave, John lay in state for half an hour, a thing which seldom happened in that busy place; but a universal sentiment of reverence and affection seemed to fill the hearts of all who had known or heard of him; and when the rumor of his death went through the house, always astir, many came to see him, and I felt a tender sort of pride in my lost patient; for he looked a most heroic figure, lying there stately and still as the statue of some young knight asleep upon his tomb. The lovely expression which so often beautifies dead faces, soon replaced the marks of pain, and I longed for those who loved him best to see him when half an hour's acquaintance with Death had made them friends. As we stood looking at him, the ward master handed me a letter, saying it had been forgotten the night before. It was John's letter, come just an hour too late to gladden the eyes that had longed and looked for it so eagerly! yet he had it; for, after I had cut some brown locks for his mother, and taken off the ring to send her, telling how well the talisman had done its work, I kissed this good son for her sake, and laid the letter in his hand, still folded as when I drew my own away, feeling that its place was there, and making myself happy with the thought, that, even in his solitary place in the "Government Lot," he would not be without some token of the love which makes life beautiful and outlives death. Then I left him, glad to have known so genuine a man, and carrying with me an enduring memory of the brave Virginia blacksmith, as he lay serenely waiting for the dawn of that long day which knows no night. CHAPTER V: OFF DUTY. "My dear girl, we shall have you sick in your bed, unless you keep yourself warm and quiet for a few days. Widow Wadman can take care of the ward alone, now the men are so comfortable, and have her vacation when you are about again. Now do be prudent in time, and don't let me have to add a Periwinkle to my bouquet of patients." This advice was delivered, in a paternal manner, by the youngest surgeon in the hospital, a kind-hearted little gentleman, who seemed to consider me a frail young blossom, that needed much cherishing, instead of a tough old spinster, who had been knocking about the world for thirty years. At the time I write of, he discovered me sitting on the stairs, with a nice cloud of unwholesome steam rising from the washroom; a party of January breezes disporting themselves in the halls; and perfumes, by no means from "Araby the blest," keeping them company; while I enjoyed a fit of coughing, which caused my head to spin in a way that made the application of a cool banister both necessary and agreeable, as I waited for the frolicsome wind to restore the breath I'd lost; cheering myself, meantime, with a secret conviction that pneumonia was waiting for me round the corner. This piece of advice had been offered by several persons for a week, and refused by me with the obstinacy with which my sex is so richly gifted. But the last few hours had developed several surprising internal and external phenomena, which impressed upon me the fact that if I didn't make a masterly retreat very soon, I should tumble down somewhere, and have to be borne ignominiously from the field. My head felt like a cannon ball; my feet had a tendency to cleave to the floor; the walls at times undulated in a most disagreeable manner; people looked unnaturally big; and the "very bottles on the mankle shelf" appeared to dance derisively before my eyes. Taking these things into consideration. while blinking stupidly at Dr. Z., I resolved to retire gracefully, if I must; so, with a valedictory to my boys, a private lecture to Mrs. Wadman, and a fervent wish that I could take off my body and work in my soul, I mournfully ascended to my apartment, and Nurse P was reported off duty. For the benefit of any ardent damsel whose patriotic fancy may have surrounded hospital life with a halo of charms, I will briefly describe the bower to which I retired, in a somewhat ruinous condition. It was well ventilated, for five panes of glass had suffered compound fractures, which all the surgeons and nurses had failed to heal; the two windows were draped with sheets, the church hospital opposite being a brick and mortar Argus, and the female mind cherishing a prejudice in favor of retiracy during the night-capped periods of existence. A bare floor supported two narrow iron beds, spread with thin mattresses like plasters, furnished with pillows in the last stages of consumption. In a fire place, guiltless of shovel, tongs, andirons, or grate, burned a log inch by inch, being too long to to go on all at once; so, while the fire blazed away at one end, I did the same at the other, as I tripped over it a dozen times a day, and flew up to poke it a dozen times at night. A mirror (let us be elegant !) of the dimensions of a muffin, and about as reflective, hung over a tin basin, blue pitcher, and a brace of yellow mugs. Two invalid tables, ditto chairs, wandered here and there, and the closet contained a varied collection of bonnets, bottles, bags, boots, bread and butter, boxes and bugs. The closet was a regular Blue Beard cupboard to me; I always opened it with fear and trembling, owing to rats, and shut it in anguish of spirit; for time and space were not to be had, and chaos reigned along with the rats. Our chimney-piece was decorated with a flat-iron, a Bible, a candle minus stick, a lavender bottle, a new tin pan, so brilliant that it served nicely for a pier-glass, and such of the portly black bugs as preferred a warmer climate than the rubbish hole afforded. Two arks, commonly called trunks, lurked behind the door, containing the worldly goods of the twain who laughed and cried, slept and scrambled, in this refuge; while from the white-washed walls above either bed, looked down the pictured faces of those whose memory can make for us-- "One little room an everywhere." For a day or two I managed to appear at meals; for the human grub must eat till the butterfly is ready to break loose, and no one had time to come up two flights while it was possible for me to come down. Far be it from me to add another affliction or reproach to that enduring man, the steward; for, compared with his predecessor, he was a horn of plenty; but--I put it to any candid mind--is not the following bill of fare susceptible of improvement, without plunging the nation madly into debt? The three meals were "pretty much of a muchness," and consisted of beef, evidently put down for the men of '76; pork, just in from the street; army bread, composed of saw-dust and saleratus; butter, salt as if churned by Lot's wife; stewed blackberries, so much like preserved cockroaches, that only those devoid of imagination could partake thereof with relish; coffee, mild and muddy; tea, three dried huckleberry leaves to a quart of water--flavored with lime--also animated and unconscious of any approach to clearness. Variety being the spice of life, a small pinch of the article would have been appreciated by the hungry, hard-working sisterhood, one of whom, though accustomed to plain fare, soon found herself reduced to bread and water; having an inborn repugnance to the fat of the land, and the salt of the earth. Another peculiarity of these hospital meals was the rapidity with which the edibles vanished, and the impossibility of getting a drop or crumb after the usual time. At the first ring of the bell, a general stampede took place; some twenty hungry souls rushed to the dining-room, swept over the table like a swarm of locusts, and left no fragment for any tardy creature who arrived fifteen minutes late. Thinking it of more importance that the patients should be well and comfortably fed, I took my time about my own meals for the first day or two after I came, but was speedily enlightened by Isaac, the black waiter, who bore with me a few times, and then informed me, looking as stern as fate: "I say, mam, ef you comes so late you can't have no vittles,--'cause I'm 'bleeged fer ter git things ready fer de doctors 'mazin' spry arter you nusses and folks is done. De gen'lemen don't kere fer ter wait, no more does I; so you jes' please ter come at de time, and dere won't be no frettin' nowheres." It was a new sensation to stand looking at a full table, painfully conscious of one of the vacuums which Nature abhors, and receive orders to right about face, without partaking of the nourishment which your inner woman clamorously demanded. The doctors always fared better than we; and for a moment a desperate impulse prompted me to give them a hint, by walking off with the mutton, or confiscating the pie. But Ike's eye was on me, and, to my shame be it spoken, I walked meekly away; went dinnerless that day, and that evening went to market, laying in a small stock of crackers, cheese and apples, that my boys might not be neglected, nor myself obliged to bolt solid and liquid dyspepsias, or starve. This plan would have succeeded admirably had not the evil star under which I was born, been in the ascendant during that month, and cast its malign influences even into my " 'umble " larder; for the rats had their dessert off my cheese, the bugs set up housekeeping in my cracker bag, and the apples like all worldly riches, took to themselves wings and flew away; whither no man could tell, though certain black imps might have thrown light upon the matter, had not the plaintiff in the case been loth to add another to the many trials of long-suffering. Africa. After this failure I resigned myself to fate, and, remembering that bread was called the staff of life, leaned pretty exclusively upon it; but it proved a broken reed, and I came to the ground after a few weeks of prison fare, varied by an occasional potato or surreptitious sip of milk. Very soon after leaving the care of my ward, I discovered that I had no appetite, and cut the bread and butter interests almost entirely, trying the exercise and sun cure instead. Flattering myself that I had plenty of time, and could see all that was to be seen, so far as a lone lorn female could venture in a city, one-half of whose male population seemed to be taking the other half to the guard-house,--every morning I took a brisk run in one direction or another; for the January days were as mild as Spring. A rollicking north wind and occasional snow storm would have been more to my taste, for the one would have braced and refreshed tired body and soul, the other have purified the air, and spread a clean coverlid over the bed, wherein the capital of these United States appeared to be dozing pretty soundly just then. One of these trips was to the Armory Hospital, the neatness, comfort, and convenience of which makes it an honor to its presiding genius, and arouses all the covetous propensities of such nurses as came from other hospitals to visit it. The long, clean, warm, and airy wards, built barrack-fashion, with the nurse's room at the end, were fully appreciated by Nurse Periwinkle, whose ward and private bower were cold, dirty, inconvenient, up stairs and down stairs, and in every body's chamber. At the Armory, in ward K, I found a cheery, bright-eyed, white-aproned little lady, reading at her post near the stove; matting under her feet; a draft of fresh air flowing in above her head; a table full of trays, glasses, and such matters, on one side, a large, well-stocked medicine chest on the other; and all her duty seemed to be going about now and then to give doses, issue orders, which well-trained attendants executed, and pet, advise, or comfort Tom, Dick, or Harry, as she found best. As I watched the proceedings, I recalled my own tribulations, and contrasted the two hospitals in a way that would have caused my summary dismissal, could it have been reported at headquarters. Here, order, method, common sense and liberality reigned and ruled, in a style that did one's heart good to see; at the Hurly burly Hotel, disorder, discomfort, bad management, and no visible head, reduced things to a condition which I despair of describing. The circumlocution fashion prevailed, forms and fusses tormented our souls, and unnecessary strictness in one place was counterbalanced by unpardonable laxity in another. Here is a sample: I am dressing Sam Dammer's shoulder; and, having cleansed the wound, look about for some strips of adhesive plaster to hold on the little square of wet linen which is to cover the gunshot wound; the case is not in the tray; Frank, the sleepy, half-sick attendant, knows nothing of it; we rummage high and low; Sam is tired, and fumes; Frank dawdles and yawns; the men advise and laugh at the flurry; I feel like a boiling tea- kettle, with the lid ready to fly off and damage somebody. "Go and borrow some from the next ward, and spend the rest of the day in finding ours," I finally command. A pause; then Frank scuffles back with the message: "Miss Peppercorn ain't got none, and says you ain't no business to lose your own duds and go borrowin' other folkses;." I say nothing, for fear of saying too much, but fly to the surgery. Mr. Toddypestle informs me that I can't have anything without an order from the surgeon of my ward. Great heavens! where is he? and away I rush, up and down, here and there, till at last I find him, in a state of bliss over a complicated amputation, in the fourth story. I make my demand; be answers: "In five minutes," and works away, with his head upside down, as he ties an artery, saws a bone, or does a little needle- work, with a visible relish and very sanguinary pair of hands. The five minutes grow to fifteen, and Frank appears, with the remark that, "Dammer wants to know what in thunder you are keeping him there with his finger on a wet rag for?" Dr. P. tears himself away long enough to scribble the order, with which I plunge downward to the surgery again, find the door locked, and, while hammering away on it, am told that two friends are waiting to see me in the hall. The matron being away, her parlor is locked, and there is nowhere to see my guests but in my own room, and no time to enjoy them till the plaster is found. I settle this matter, and circulate through the house to find Toddypestle, who has no right, to leave the surgery till night. He is discovered in the dead house, smoking a cigar; and very much the worse for his researches among the spirituous preparations that fill the surgery shelves. He is inclined to be gallant, and puts the finishing blow to the fire of my wrath; for the tea-kettle lid flies off, and driving him before me to his post, I fling down the order, take what I choose; and, leaving the absurd incapable kissing his hand to me, depart, feeling, as Grandma Riglesty is reported to have done, when she vainly sought for chips, in Bimleck Jackwood's "shifless paster." I find Dammer a well acted charade of his own name, and, just as I get him done, struggling the while with a burning desire to clap an adhesive strip across his mouth, full of heaven-defying oaths, Frank takes up his boot to put it on, and exclaims: "I'm blest ef here ain't that case now! I recollect seeing it pitch in this mornin', but forgot all about it, till my heel went smash inter it. Here, ma'am, ketch hold on it, and give the boys a sheet on't all round, 'gainst it tumbles inter t'other boot next time yer want it." If a look could annihilate, Francis Saucebox would have ceased to exist; but it couldn't; therefore, he yet lives, to aggravate some unhappy woman's soul, and wax fat in some equally congenial situation. Now, while I'm freeing my mind, I should like to enter my protest against employing convalescents as attendants, instead of strong, properly trained, and cheerful men. How it may be in other places I cannot say; but here it was a source of constant trouble and confusion, these feeble, ignorant men trying to sweep, scrub, lift, and wait upon their sicker comrades. One, with a diseased heart, was expected to run up and down stairs, carry heavy trays, and move helpless men; he tried it, and grew rapidly worse than when he first came: and, when he was ordered out to march away to the convalescent hospital, fell, in a sort of fit, before he turned the corner, and was brought back to die. Another, hurt by a fall from his horse, endeavored to do his duty, but failed entirely, and the wrath of the ward master fell upon the nurse, who must either scrub the rooms herself, or take the lecture; for the boy looked stout and well, and the master never happened to see him turn white with pain, or hear him groan in his sleep when an involuntary. motion strained his poor back. Constant complaints were being made of incompetent attendants, and some dozen women did double duty, and then were blamed for breaking down. If any hospital director fancies this a good and economical arrangement, allow one used up nurse to tell him it isn't, and beg him to spare the sisterhood, who sometimes, in their sympathy, forget that they are mortal, and run the risk of being made immortal, sooner than is agreeable to their partial friends. Another of my few rambles took me to the Senate Chamber, hoping to hear and see if this large machine was run any better than some small ones I knew of. I was too late, and found the Speaker's chair occupied by a colored gentleman of ten; while two others were "on their legs," having a hot debate on the cornball question, as they gathered the waste paper strewn about the floor into bags; and several white members played leap-frog over the desks, a much wholesomer relaxation than some of the older Senators indulge in, I fancy. Finding the coast clear, I likewise gambolled up and down, from gallery to gallery; sat in Sumner's chair. and cudgelled an imaginary Brooks within an inch of his life; examined Wilson's books in the coolest possible manner; warmed my feet at one of the national registers; read people's names on scattered envelopes, and pocketed a castaway autograph or two; watched the somewhat unparliamentary proceedings going on about me, and wondered who in the world all the sedate gentlemen were, who kept popping out of odd doors here and there, like respectable Jacks-in-the-box. Then I wandered over the "palatial residence" of Mrs. Columbia, and examined its many beauties, though I can't say I thought her a tidy housekeeper, and didn't admire her taste in pictures, for the eye of this humble individual soon wearied of expiring patriots, who all appeared to be quitting their earthly tabernacles in convulsions, ruffled shirts, and a whirl of torn banners, bomb shells, and buff and blue arms and legs. The statuary also was massive and concrete, but rather wearying to examine; for the colossal ladies and gentlemen, carried no cards of introduction in face or figure; so, whether the meditative party in a kilt, with well-developed legs, shoes like army slippers, and a ponderous nose, was Columbus, Cato, or Cockelorum Tibby, the tragedian, was more than I could tell. Several robust ladies attracted me; but which was America and which Pocahontas was a mystery; for all affected much looseness of costume, dishevelment of hair, swords, arrows, lances, scales, and other ornaments quite passe with damsels of our day, whose effigies should go down to posterity armed with fans, crochet needles, riding whips, and parasols, with here and there one holding pen or pencil, rolling-pin or broom. The statue of Liberty I recognized at once, for it had no pedestal as yet, but stood flat in the mud, with Young America most symbollically making dirt pies, and chip forts, in its shadow. But high above the squabbling little throng and their petty plans, the sun shone full on Liberty's broad forehead, and, in her hand, some summer bird had built its nest. I accepted the good omen then, and, on the first of January, the Emancipation Act gave the statue a nobler and more enduring pedestal than any marble or granite ever carved and quarried by human bands. One trip to Georgetown Heights, where cedars sighed overhead, dead leaves rustled underfoot, pleasant paths led up and down, and a brook wound like a silver snake by the blackened ruins of some French Minister's house, through the poor gardens of the black washerwomen who congregated there, and, passing the cemetery with a murmurous lullaby, rolled away to pay its little tribute to the river. This breezy run was the last I took; for, on the morrow, came rain and wind: and confinement soon proved a powerful reinforcement to the enemy, who was quietly preparing to spring a mine, and blow me five hundred miles from the position I had taken in what I called my Chickahominy Swamp. Shut up in my room, with no voice, spirits, or books, that week was not a holiday, by any means. Finding meals a humbug, I stopped away altogether, trusting that if this sparrow was of any worth, the Lord would not let it fall to the ground. Like a flock of friendly ravens, my sister nurses fed me, not only with food for the body, but kind words for the mind; and soon, from being half starved, I found myself so beteaed and betoasted, petted and served, that I was quite "in the lap of luxury," in spite of cough, headache, a painful consciousness of my pleura, and a realizing sense of bones in the human frame. From the pleasant house on the hill, the home in the heart of Washington, and the Willard caravansary, came friends new and old, with bottles, baskets, carriages and invitations for the invalid; and daily our Florence Nightingale climbed the steep stairs, stealing a moment from her busy life, to watch over the stranger, of whom she was as thoughtfully tender as any mother. Long may she wave! Whatever others may think or say, Nurse Periwinkle is forever grateful; and among her relics of that Washington defeat, none is more valued than the little book which appeared on her pillow, one dreary day; for the D D. written in it means to her far more than Doctor of Divinity. Being forbidden to meddle with fleshly arms and legs, I solaced myself by mending cotton ones, and, as I sat sewing at my window, watched the moving panorama that passed below; amusing myself with taking notes of the most striking figures in it. Long trains of army wagons kept up a perpetual rumble from morning till night; ambulances rattled to and fro with busy surgeons, nurses taking an airing, or convalescents going in parties to be fitted to artificial limbs. Strings of sorry looking horses passed, saying as plainly as dumb creatures could, "Why, in a city full of them, is there no horsepital for us?" Often a cart came by, with several rough coffins in it and no mourners following; baroucbes, with invalid officers, rolled round the corner, and carriage loads of pretty children, with black coachmen, footmen, and maids. The women who took their walks abroad, were so extinguished in three story bonnets, with overhanging balconies of flowers, that their charms were obscured; and all I can say of them is that they dressed in the worst possible taste, and walked like ducks. The men did the picturesque, and did it so well that Washington looked like a mammoth masquerade. Spanish hats, scarlet lined riding cloaks, swords and sashes, high boots and bright spurs, beards and mustaches, which made plain faces comely, and comely faces heroic; these vanities of the flesh transformed our butchers, bakers, and candlestick makers into gallant riders of gaily caparisoned horses, much handsomer than themselves; and dozens of such figures were constantly prancing by, with private prickings of spurs, for the benefit of the perambulating flower- bed. Some of these gentlemen affected painfully tight uniforms, and little caps, kept on by some new law of gravitation, as they covered only the bridge of the nose, yet never fell off; the men looked like stuffed fowls, and rode as if the safety of the nation depended on their speed alone. The fattest, greyest officers dressed most, and ambled statelily along, with orderlies behind, trying to look as if they didn't know the stout party in front, and doing much caracoling on their own account. The mules were my especial delight; and an hour's study of a constant succession of them introduced me to many of their characteristics; for six of these odd little beasts drew each army wagon, and went hopping like frogs through the stream of mud that gently rolled along the street. The coquettish mule had small feet, a nicely trimmed tassel of a tail, perked up ears, and seemed much given to little tosses of the head, affected skips and prances; and, if he wore the bells, or were bedizzened with a bit of finery, put on as many airs as any belle. The moral mule was a stout, hard-working creature, always tugging with all his might; often pulling away after the rest had stopped, laboring under the conscientious delusion that food for the entire army depended upon his private exertions. I respected this style of mule; and had I possessed a juicy cabbage, would have pressed it upon him, with thanks for his excellent example. The historical mule was a melo-dramatic quadruped, prone to startling humanity by erratic leaps, and wild plunges, much shaking of his stubborn head, and lashing out of his vicious heels; now and then falling flat and apparently dying a la Forrest: a gasp--a squirm--a flop, and so on, till the street was well blocked up, the drivers all swearing like demons in bad hats, and the chief actor's circulation decidedly quickened by every variety of kick, cuff jerk, and haul. When the last breath seemed to have left his body, and "Doctors were in vain," a sudden resurrection took place; and if ever a mule laughed with scornful triumph, that was the beast, as he leisurely rose, gave a comfortable shake, and calmly regarding the excited crowd seemed to say--"A hit! a decided hit! for the stupidest of animals has bamboozled a dozen men. Now, then! what are you stopping the way for?" The pathetic mule was, perhaps, the most interesting of all; for, though he always seemed to be the smallest, thinnest, weakest of the six, the postillion, with big boots, long-tailed coat, and heavy whip, was sure to bestride this one, who struggled feebly along, head down, coat muddy and rough, eye spiritless and sad, his very tail a mortified stump, and the whole beast a picture of meek misery, fit to touch a heart of stone. The jovial mule was a roly poly, happy-go-lucky little piece of horse-flesh, taking everything easily, from cudgeling to caressing; strolling along with a roguish twinkle of the eye, and, if the thing were possible, would have had his hands in his pockets, and whistled as he went. If there ever chanced to be an apple core, a stray turnip, or wisp of hay, in the gutter, this Mark Tapley was sure to find it, and none of his mates seemed to begrudge him his bite. I suspected this fellow was the peacemaker, confidant and friend of all the others, for he had a sort of "Cheer-up,-old-boy,-I'll- pull-you-through" look, which was exceedingly engaging. Pigs also possessed attractions for me, never having had an opportunity of observing their graces of mind and manner, till I came to Washington, whose porcine citizens appeared to enjoy a larger liberty than many of its human ones. Stout, sedate looking pigs, hurried by each morning to their places of business, with a preoccupied air, and sonorous greeting to their friends. Genteel pigs, with an extra curl to their tails, promenaded in pairs, lunching here and there, like gentlemen of leisure. Rowdy pigs pushed the passers by off the side walk; tipsy pigs hiccoughed their version of "We wont go home till morning," from the gutter; and delicate young pigs tripped daintily through the mud, as if, like "Mrs. Peerybingle," they plumed themselves upon their ankles, and kept themselves particularly neat in point of stockings. Maternal pigs, with their interesting families, strolled by in the sun; and often the pink, baby-like squealers lay down for a nap, with a trust in Providence worthy of human imitation. But more interesting than officers, ladies, mules, or pigs, were my colored brothers and sisters, because so unlike the respectable members of society I'd known in moral Boston. Here was the genuine article--no, not the genuine article at all, we must go to Africa for that--but the sort of creatures generations of slavery have made them: obsequious, trickish, lazy and ignorant, yet kind-hearted, merry-tempered, quick to feel and accept the least token of the brotherly love which is slowly teaching the white hand to grasp the black, in this great struggle for the liberty of both the races. Having been warned not to be too rampant on the subject of slavery, as secesh principles flourished even under the respectable nose of Father Abraham, I had endeavored to walk discreetly, and curb my unruly member; looking about me with all my eyes, the while, and saving up the result of my observations for future use. I had not been there a week before the neglected, devil-may care expression in many of the faces about me, seemed an urgent appeal to leave nursing white bodies, and take some care for these black souls. Much as the lazy boys and saucy girls tormented me, I liked them, and found that any show of interest or friendliness brought out the better traits which live in the most degraded and forsaken of us all. I liked their cheerfulness, for the dreariest old hag, who scrubbed all day in that pestilential steam, gossipped and grinned all the way out, when night set her free from drudgery. The girls romped with their dusky sweethearts, or tossed their babies, with the tender pride that makes mother-love a beautifier to the homeliest face. The men and boys sang and whistled all day long; and often, as I held my watch, the silence of the night was sweetly broken by some chorus from the street, full of real melody, whether the song was of heaven, or of hoe-cakes; and, as I listened, I felt that we never should doubt nor despair concerning a race which, through such griefs and wrongs, still clings to this good gift, and seems to solace with it the patient hearts that wait and watch and hope until the end. I expected to have to defend myself from accusations of prejudice against color; but was surprised to find things just the other way, and daily shocked some neighbor by treating the blacks as I did the whites. The men would swear at the "darkies," would put two gs into negro, and scoff at the idea of any good coming from such trash. The nurses were willing to be served by the colored people, but seldom thanked them, never praised, and scarcely recognized them in the street; whereat the blood of two generations of abolitionists waxed hot in my veins, and, at the first opportunity, proclaimed itself, and asserted the right of free speech as doggedly as the irrepressible Folsom herself. Happening to catch up a funny little black baby, who was toddling about the nurses' kitchen, one day, when I went down to make a mess for some of my men, a Virginia woman standing by elevated her most prominent features, with a sniff of disapprobation, exclaiming: "Gracious, Miss P.! how can you? I've been here six months. and never so much as touched the little toad with a poker." "More shame for you, ma'am," responded Miss P.; and, with the natural perversity of a Yankee, followed up the blow by kissing "the toad," with ardor. His face was providentially as clean and shiny as if his mamma had just polished it up with a corner of her apron and a drop from the tea-kettle spout, like old Aunt Chloe, This rash act, and the anti-slavery lecture that followed, while one hand stirred gruel for sick America, and the other hugged baby Africa, did not produce the cheering result which I fondly expected; for my comrade henceforth regarded me as a dangerous fanatic, and my protege nearly came to his death by insisting on swarming up stairs to my room, on all occasions, and being walked on like a little black spider. I waited for New Year's day with more eagerness than I had ever known before; and, though it brought me no gift, I felt rich in the act of justice so tardily performed toward some of those about me. As the bells rung midnight, I electrified my room-mate by dancing out of bed, throwing up the window, and flapping my handkerchief, with a feeble cheer, in answer to the shout of a group of colored men in the street below. All night they tooted and tramped, fired crackers, sung "Glory, Hallelujah," and took comfort, poor souls! in their own way. The sky was clear, the moon shone benignly, a mild wind blew across the river, and all good omens seemed to usher in the dawn of the day whose noontide cannot now be long in coming. If the colored people had taken hands and danced around the White House, with a few cheers for the much abused gentleman who has immortalized himself by one just act, no President could have had a finer levee, or one to be prouder of. While these sights and sounds were going on without, curious scenes were passing within, and I was learning that one of the best methods of fitting oneself to be a nurse in a hospital, is to be a patient there; for then only can one wholly realize what the men suffer and sigh for; how acts of kindness touch and win; how much or little we are to those about us; and for the first time really see that in coming there we have taken our lives in our hands, and may have to pay dearly for a brief experience. Every one was very kind; the attendants of my ward often came up to report progress, to fill my wood box, or bring messages and presents from my boys. The nurses took many steps with those tired feet of theirs, and several came each evening, to chat over my fire and make things cozy for the night. The doctors paid daily visits, tapped at my lungs to see if pneumonia was within, left doses without names, and went away, leaving me as ignorant, and much more uncomfortable than when they came. Hours began to get confused; people looked odd; queer faces haunted the room, and the nights were one long fight with weariness and pain. Letters from home grew anxious; the doctors lifted their eyebrows, and nodded ominously; friends said "Don't stay," and an internal rebellion seconded the advice; but the three months were not out, and the idea of giving up so soon was proclaiming a defeat before I was fairly routed; so to all "Don't stays" I opposed "I wills," till, one fine morning, a gray-headed gentleman rose like a welcome ghost on my hearth; and, at the sight of him, my resolution melted away, my heart turned traitor to my boys, and, when he said, "Come home," I answered, "Yes, father;" and so ended my career as an army nurse. I never shall regret the going, though a sharp tussle with typhoid, ten dollars, and a wig, are all the visible results of the experiment; for one may live and learn much in a month. A good fit of illness proves the value of health; real danger tries one's mettle; and self-sacrifice sweetens character. Let no one who sincerely desires to help the work on in this way, delay going through any fear; for the worth of life lies in the experiences that fill it, and this is one which cannot be forgotten. All that is best and bravest in the hearts of men and women, comes out in scenes like these; and, though a hospital is a rough school, its lessons are both stern and salutary; and the humblest of pupils there, in proportion to his faithfulness, learns a deeper faith in God and in himself. I, for one, would return tomorrow, on the "up-again,-and-take-another" principle, if I could; for the amount of pleasure and profit I got out of that month compensates for all the pangs; and, though a sadly womanish feeling, I take some satisfaction in the thought that, if I could not lay my head on the altar of my country, I have my hair; and that is more than handsome Helen did for her dead husband, when she sacrificed only the ends of her ringlets on his urn. Therefore, I close this little chapter of hospital experiences, with the regret that they were no better worth recording; and add the poetical gem with which I console myself for the untimely demise of "Nurse Periwinkle:" Oh, lay her in a little pit, With a marble stone to cover it; And carve thereon a gruel spoon, To show a "nuss" has died too soon. CHAPTER VI: A POSTSCRIPT. My Dear S.: -- As inquiries like your own have come to me from various friendly readers of the Sketches, I will answer them en masse and in printed form, as a sort of postscript to what has gone before. One of these questions was, "Are there no services by hospital death-beds, or on Sundays?" In most Hospitals I hope there are; in ours, the men died, and were carried away, with as little ceremony as on a battle-field. The first event of this kind which I witnessed was so very brief, and bare of anything like reverence, sorrow, or pious consolation, that I heartily agreed with the bluntly expressed opinion of a Maine man lying next his comrade, who died with no visible help near him, but a compassionate woman and a tender- hearted Irishman, who dropped upon his knees, and told his beads, with Catholic fervor, for the good of his Protestant brother's parting soul: "If, after gettin' all the hard knocks, we are left to die this way, with nothing but a Paddy's prayers to help us, I guess Christians are rather scarce round Washington." I thought so too; but though Miss Blank, one of my mates, anxious that souls should be ministered to, as well as bodies, spoke more than once to the Chaplain, nothing ever came of it. Unlike another Shepherd, whose earnest piety weekly purified the Senate Chamber, this man did not feed as well as fold his flock, nor make himself a human symbol of the Divine Samaritan, who never passes by on the other side. I have since learned that our non-committal Chaplain had been a Professor in some Southern College; and, though he maintained that he had no secesh proclivities, I can testify that he seceded from his ministerial duties, I may say, skedaddled; for, being one of his own words, it is as appropriate as inelegant. He read Emerson, quoted Carlyle, and tried to be a Chaplain; but judging from his success, I am afraid he still hankered after the hominy pots of Rebeldom. Occasionally, on a Sunday afternoon, such of the nurses, officers, attendants, and patients as could avail themselves of it, were gathered in the Ball Room, for an hour's service, of which the singing was the better part. To me it seemed that if ever strong, wise, and loving words were needed, it was then; if ever mortal man had living texts before his eyes to illustrate and illuminate his thought, it was there; and if ever hearts were prompted to devoutest self-abnegation, it was in the work which brought us to anything but a Chapel of Ease. But some spiritual paralysis seemed to have befallen our pastor; for, though many faces turned toward him, full of the dumb hunger that often comes to men when suffering or danger brings then nearer to the heart of things, they were offered the chaff of divinity, and its wheat was left for less needy gleaners, who knew where to look. Even the fine old Bible stories, which may be made as lifelike as any history of our day, by a vivid fancy and pictorial diction, were robbed of all their charms by dry explanations and literal applications, instead of being useful and pleasant lessons to those men, whom weakness had rendered as docile as children in a father's hands. I watched the listless countenances all about me, while a mild Daniel was moralizing in a den of utterly uninteresting lions; while Shadrach, Meshech, and Abednego were leisurely passing through the fiery furnace, where, I sadly feared, some of us sincerely wished they had remained as permanencies; while the Temple of Solomon was laboriously erected, with minute descriptions of the process, and any quantity of bells and pomegranates on the raiment of the priests. Listless they were at the beginning, and listless at the end; but the instant some stirring old hymn was given out, sleepy eyes brightened, lounging figures sat erect, and many a poor lad rose up in his bed, or stretch an eager hand for the book, while all broke out with a heartiness that proved that somewhere at the core of even the most abandoned, there still glowed some remnant of the native piety that flows in music from the heart of every little child. Even the big rebel joined, and boomed away in a thunderous bass, singing-- "Salvation! let the echoes fly," as energetically as if he felt the need of a speedy execution of the command. That was the pleasantest moment of the hour, for then it seemed a homelike and happy spot; the groups of men looking over one another's shoulders as they sang; the few silent figures in the beds; here and there a woman noiselessly performing some necessary duty, and singing as she worked; while in the arm chair standing in the midst, I placed, for my own satisfaction, the imaginary likeness of a certain faithful pastor, who took all outcasts by the hand, smote the devil in whatever guise he came, and comforted the indigent in spirit with the best wisdom of a great and tender heart, which still speaks to us from its Italian grave. With that addition, my picture was complete; and I often longed to take a veritable sketch of a Hospital Sunday, for, despite its drawbacks, consisting of continued labor, the want of proper books, the barren preaching that bore no fruit, this day was never like the other six. True to their home training, our New England boys did their best to make it what it should be. With many, there was much reading of Testaments, humming over of favorite hymns, and looking at such books as I could cull from a miscellaneous library. Some lay idle, slept, or gossiped; yet, when I came to them for a quiet evening chat, they often talked freely and well of themselves; would blunder out some timid hope that their troubles might "do 'em good, and keep 'em stiddy;" would choke a little, as they said good night, and turned their faces to the wall to think of mother, wife, or home, these human ties seeming to be the most vital religion which they yet knew. I observed that some of them did not wear their caps on this day, though at other times they clung to them like Quakers; wearing them in bed, putting them on to read the paper, eat an apple, or write a letter, as if, like a new sort of Samson, their strength lay, not in their hair, but in their hats. Many read no novels, swore less, were more silent, orderly, and cheerful, as if the Lord were an invisible Wardmaster, who went his rounds but once a week, and must find all things at their best. I liked all this in the poor, rough boys, and could have found it in my heart to put down sponge and tea-pot, and preach a little sermon then and there, while homesickness and pain had made these natures soft, that some good seed might be cast therein, to blossom and bear fruit here or hereafter. Regarding the admission of friends to nurse their sick, I can only say, it was not allowed at Hurly-burly House; though one indomitable parent took my ward by storm, and held her position, in spite of doctors, matron, and Nurse Periwinkle. Though it was against the rules, though the culprit was an acid, frost-bitten female, though the young man would have done quite as well without her anxious fussiness, and the whole room-full been much more comfortable, there was something so irresistible in this persistent devotion, that no one had the heart to oust her from her post. She slept on the floor, without uttering a complaint; bore jokes somewhat of the rudest; fared scantily, though her basket was daily filled with luxuries for her boy; and tended that petulant personage with a never-failing patience beautiful to see. I feel a glow of moral rectitude in saying this of her; for, though a perfect pelican to her young, she pecked and cackled (I don't know that pelicans usually express their emotions in that manner,) most obstreperously, when others invaded her premises; and led me a weary life, with "George's tea-rusks," "George's foot bath," "George's measles," and "George's mother;" till after a sharp passage of arms and tongues with the matron, she wrathfully packed up her rusks, her son, and herself, and departed, in an ambulance, scolding to the very last. This is the comic side of the matter. The serious one is harder to describe; for the presence, however brief, of relations and friends by the bedside of the dead or dying, is always a trial to the bystanders. They are not near enough to know how best to comfort, yet too near to turn their backs upon the sorrow that finds its only solace in listening to recitals of last words, breathed into nurse's ears, or receiving the tender legacies of love and longing bequeathed through them. To me, the saddest sight I saw in that sad place, was the spectacle of a grey-haired father, sitting hour after hour by his son, dying from the poison of his wound. The old father, hale and hearty; the young son, past all help, though one could scarcely believe it; for the subtle fever, burning his strength away, flushed his cheeks with color, filled his eyes with lustre, and lent a mournful mockery of health to face and figure, making the poor lad comelier in death than in life. His bed was not in my ward; but I was often in and out, and for a day or two, the pair were much together, saying little, but looking much. The old man tried to busy himself with book or pen, that his presence might not be a burden; and once when he sat writing, to the anxious mother at home, doubtless, I saw the son's eyes fix upon his face, with a look of mingled resignation and regret, as if endeavoring to teach himself to say cheerfully the long good bye. And again, when the son slept, the father watched him as he had himself been watched; and though no feature of his grave countenance changed, the rough hand, smoothing the lock of hair upon the pillow, the bowed attitude of the grey head, were more pathetic than the loudest lamentations. The son died; and the father took home the pale relic of the life he gave, offering a little money to the nurse, as the only visible return it was in his power to make her; for though very grateful, he was poor. Of course, she did not take it, but found a richer compensation in the old man's earnest declaration: "My boy couldn't have been better cared for if he'd been at home; and God will reward you for it, though I can't." My own experiences of this sort began when my first man died. He had scarcely been removed, when his wife came in. Her eye went straight to the well-known bed; it was empty; and feeling, yet not believing the hard truth, she cried out, with a look I never shall forget: "Why, where's Emanuel?" I had never seen her before, did not know her relationship to the man whom I had only nursed for a day, and was about to tell her he was gone, when McGee, the tender-hearted Irishman before mentioned, brushed by me with a cheerful--"It's shifted to a better bed he is, Mrs. Connel. Come out, dear, till I show ye;" and, taking her gently by the arm, he led her to the matron, who broke the heavy tidings to the wife, and comforted the widow. Another day, running up to my room for a breath of fresh air and a five minutes rest after a disagreeable task, I found a stout young woman sitting on my bed, wearing the miserable look which I had learned to know by that time. Seeing her, reminded me that I had heard of some one's dying in the night, and his sister's arriving in the morning. This must be she, I thought. I pitied her with all my heart. What could I say or do? Words always seem impertinent at such times; I did not know the man; the woman was neither interesting in herself nor graceful in her grief; yet, having known a sister's sorrow myself, I could have not leave her alone with her trouble in that strange place, without a word. So, feeling heart-sick, home-sick, and not knowing what else to do, I just put my arms about her, and began to cry in a very helpless but hearty way; for, as I seldom indulge in this moist luxury, I like to enjoy it with all my might, when I do. It so happened I could not have done a better thing; for, though not a word was spoken, each felt the other's sympathy; and, in the silence, our handkerchiefs were more eloquent than words. She soon sobbed herself quiet; and leaving her on my bed, I went back to work, feeling much refreshed by the shower, though I'd forgotten to rest, and had washed my face instead of my hands. I mention this successful experience as a receipt proved and approved, for the use of any nurse who may find herself called upon to minister to these wounds of the heart. They will find it more efficacious than cups of tea, smelling-bottles, psalms, or sermons; for a friendly touch and a companionable cry, unite the consolations of all the rest for womankind; and, if genuine, will be found a sovereign cure for the first sharp pang so many suffer in these heavy times. I am gratified to find that my little Sergeant has found favor in several quarters, and gladly respond to sundry calls for news of him, though my personal knowledge ended five months ago. Next to my good John--I hope the grass is green above him, far away there in Virginia!--I placed the Sergeant on my list of worthy boys; and many jovial chat have I enjoyed with the merry-hearted lad, who had a fancy for fun, when his poor arm was dressed. While Dr. P. poked and strapped, I brushed the remains of the Sergeant's brown mane--shorn sorely against his will--and gossiped with all my might, the boy making odd faces, exclamations, and appeals, when nerves got the better of nonsense, as they sometimes did: "I'd rather laugh than cry, when I must sing out anyhow, so just say that bit from Dickens again, please, and I'll stand it like a man." He did; for "Mrs. Cluppins," "Chadband," and "Sam Weller," always helped him through; thereby causing me to lay another offering of love and admiration on the shrine of the god of my idolatry, though he does wear too much jewelry and talk slang. The Sergeant also originated, I believe, the fashion of calling his neighbors by their afflictions instead of their names; and I was rather taken aback by hearing them bandy remarks of this sort, with perfect good humor and much enjoyment of the new game. "Hallo, old Fits is off again!" "How are you, Rheumatiz?" "Will you trade apples, Ribs?" "I say, Miss P. may I give Typus a drink of this?" "Look here, No Toes, lend us a stamp, there's a good feller," etc. He himself was christened "Baby B.," because he tended his arm on a little pillow, and called it his infant. Very fussy about his grub was Sergeant B., and much trotting of attendants was necessary when he partook of nourishment. Anything more irresistibly wheedlesome I never saw, and constantly found myself indulging him, like the most weak-minded parent, merely for the pleasure of seeing his blue eyes twinkle, his merry mouth break into a smile, and his one hand execute a jaunty little salute that was entirely captivating. I am afraid that Nurse P. damaged her dignity, frolicking with this persuasive young gentleman, though done for his well being. But "boys will be boys," is perfectly applicable to the case; for, in spite of years, sex and the "prunes-and-prisms" doctrine laid down for our use, I have a fellow feeling for lads, and always owed Fate a grudge because I wasn't a lord of creation instead of a lady. Since I left, I have heard, from a reliable source, that my Sergeant has gone home; therefore, the small romance that budded the first day I saw him, has blossomed into its second chapter, and I now imagine "dearest Jane" filling my place, tending the wounds I tended, brushing the curly jungle I brushed, loving the excellent little youth I loved, and eventually walking altarward, with the Sergeant stumping gallantly at her side. If she doesn't do all this, and no end more, I'll never forgive her; and sincerely pray to the guardian saint of lovers, that "Baby B." may prosper in his wooing, and his name be long in the land. One of the lively episodes of hospital life, is the frequent marching away of such as are well enough to rejoin their regiments, or betake themselves to some convalescent camp. The ward master comes to the door of each room that is to be thinned, reads off a list of names, bids their owners look sharp and be ready when called for; and, as he vanishes, the rooms fall into an indescribable state of topsy-turvyness, as the boys begin to black their boots, brighten spurs, if they have them, overhaul knapsacks, make presents; are fitted out with needfuls, and--well, why not?--kissed sometimes, as they say, good-bye; for in all human probability we shall never meet again, and a woman's heart yearns over anything that has clung to her for help and comfort. I never liked these breakings-up of my little household: though my short stay showed me but three. I was immensely gratified by the hand shakes I got, for their somewhat painful cordiality assured me that I had not tried in vain. The big Prussian rumbled out his unintelligible adieux, with a grateful face and a premonitory smooth of his yellow mustache, but got no farther, for some one else stepped up, with a large brown hand extended, and this recommendation of our very faulty establishment: "We're off, ma'am, and I'm powerful sorry, for I'd no idea a 'orspittle was such a jolly place. Hope I'll git another ball somewheres easy, so I'll come back, and be took care on again. Mean, ain't it?" I didn't think so, but the doctrine of inglorious ease was not the right one to preach up, so I tried to look shocked, failed signally, and consoled myself by giving him the fat pincushion he had admired as the "cutest little machine agoin." Then they fell into line in front of the house, looking rather wan and feeble, some of them, but trying to step out smartly and march in good order, though half the knapsacks were carried by the guard, and several leaned on sticks instead of shouldering guns. All looked up and smiled, or waved heir hands and touched their caps, as they passed under our windows down the long street, and so away, some to their homes in this world, and some to that in the next; and, for the rest of the day, I felt like Rachel mourning for her children, when I saw the empty beds and missed the familiar faces. You ask if nurses are obliged to witness amputations and such matters, as a part of their duty? I think not, unless they wish; for the patient is under the effects of ether, and needs no care but such as the surgeons can best give. Our work begins afterward, when the poor soul comes to himself, sick, faint, and wandering; full of strange pains and confused visions, of disagreeable sensations and sights. Then we must sooth and sustain, tend and watch; preaching and practicing patience, till sleep and time have restored courage and self-control. I witnessed several operations; for the height of my ambition was to go to the front after a battle, and feeling that the sooner I inured myself to trying sights, the more useful I should be. Several of my mates shrunk from such things; for though the spirit was wholly willing, the flesh was inconveniently weak. One funereal lady came to try her powers as a nurse; but, a brief conversation eliciting the facts that she fainted at the sight of blood, was afraid to watch alone, couldn't possibly take care of delirious persons, was nervous about infections, and unable to bear much fatigue, she was mildly dismissed. I hope she found her sphere, but fancy a comfortable bandbox on a high shelf would best meet the requirements of her case. Dr. Z. suggested that I should witness a dissection; but I never accepted his invitations, thinking that my nerves belonged to the living, not to the dead, and I had better finish my education as a nurse before I began that of a surgeon. But I never met the little man skipping through the hall, with oddly shaped cases in his hand, and an absorbed expression of countenance, without being sure that a select party of surgeons were at work in the dead house, which idea was a rather trying one, when I knew the subject was some person whom I had nursed and cared for. But this must not lead any one to suppose that the surgeons were willfully hard or cruel, though one of them remorsefully confided to me that he feared his profession blunted his sensibilities, and perhaps, rendered him indifferent to the sight of pain. I am inclined to think that in some cases it does; for, though a capital surgeon and a kindly man, Dr. P., through long acquaintance with many of the ills flesh is heir to, had acquired a somewhat trying habit of regarding a man and his wound as separate institutions, and seemed rather annoyed that the former should express any opinion upon the latter, or claim any right in it, while under his care. He had a way of twitching off a bandage, and giving a limb a comprehensive sort of clutch, which though no doubt entirely scientific, was rather startling than soothing, and highly objectionable as a means of preparing nerves for any fresh trial. He also expected the patient to assist in small operations, as he considered them, and to restrain all demonstrations during the process. "Here, my man, just hold it this way, while I look into it a bit," he said one day to Fitz G., putting a wounded arm into the keeping of a sound one, and proceeding to poke about among bits of bone and visible muscles, in a red and black chasm made by some infernal machine of the shot or shell description. Poor Fitz held on like a grim Death, ashamed to show fear before a woman, till it grew more than he could bear in silence; and, after a few smothered groans, he looked at me imploringly, as if he said, "I wouldn't, ma'am, if I could help it," and fainted quietly away. Dr. P. looked up, gave a compassionate sort of cluck, and poked away more busily than ever, with a nod at me and a brief--"Never mind; be so good as to hold this till I finish." I obeyed, cherishing the while a strong desire to insinuate a few of his own disagreeable knives and scissors into him, and see how he liked it. A very disrespectful and ridiculous fancy of course; for he was doing all that could be done, and the arm prospered finely in his hands. But the human mind is prone to prejudice; and though a personable man, speaking French like a born "Parley voo," and whipping off legs like an animated guillotine, I must confess to a sense of relief when he was ordered elsewhere; and suspect that several of the men would have faced a rebel battery with less trepidation than they did Dr. P., when he came briskly in on his morning round. As if to give us the pleasures of contrast, Dr. Z. succeeded him, who, I think, suffered more in giving pain than did his patients in enduring it; for he often paused to ask: "Do I hurt you?" and seeing his solicitude, the boys invariably answered: "Not much; go ahead, Doctor," though the lips that uttered this amiable fib might be white with pain as they spoke. Over the dressing of some of the wounds, we used to carry on conversations upon subjects foreign to the work in hand, that the patient might forget himself in the charms of our discourse. Christmas eve was spent in this way; the Doctor strapping the little Sergeant's arm, I holding the lamp, while all three laughed and talked, as if anywhere but in a hospital ward; except when the chat was broken by a long-drawn "Oh!" from "Baby B.," an abrupt request from the Doctor to "Hold the lamp a little higher, please," or an encouraging, "Most through, Sergeant," from Nurse P. The chief Surgeon, Dr. O., I was told, refused the higher salary, greater honor, and less labor, of an appointment to the Officer's Hospital, round the corner, that he might serve the poor fellows at Hurly-burly House, or go to the front, working there day and night, among the horrors that succeed the glories of a battle. I liked that so much, that the quiet, brown-eyed Doctor was my especial admiration; and when my own turn came, had more faith in him than in all the rest put together, although he did advise me to go home, and authorize the consumption of blue pills. Speaking of the surgeons reminds me that, having found all manner of fault, it becomes me to celebrate the redeeming feature of Hurly-burly House. I had been prepared by the accounts of others, to expect much humiliation of spirit from the surgeons, and to be treated by them like a door-mat, a worm, or any other meek and lowly article, whose mission it is to be put down and walked upon; nurses being considered as mere servants, receiving the lowest pay, and, it's my private opinion, doing the hardest work of any part of the army, except the mules. Great, therefore, was my surprise, when I found myself treated with the utmost courtesy and kindness. Very soon my carefully prepared meekness was laid upon the shelf; and, going from one extreme to the other, I more than once expressed a difference of opinion regarding sundry messes it was my painful duty to administer. As eight of us nurses chanced to be off duty at once, we had an excellent opportunity of trying the virtues of these gentlemen; and I am bound to say they stood the test admirably, as far as my personal observation went. Dr. O.'s stethoscope was unremitting in its attentions; Dr. S. brought his buttons into my room twice a day, with the regularity of a medical clock; while Dr. Z. filled my table with neat little bottles, which I never emptied, prescribed Browning, bedewed me with Cologne, and kept my fire going, as if, like the candles in St. Peter's, it must never be permitted to die out. Waking, one cold night, with the certainty that my last spark had pined away and died, and consequently hours of coughing were in store for me, I was amazed to see a ruddy light dancing on the wall, a jolly blaze roaring up the chimney, and, down upon his knees before it, Dr. Z., whittling shavings. I ought to have risen up and thanked him on the spot; but, knowing that he was one of those who like to do good by stealth, I only peeped at him as if he were a friendly ghost; till, having made things as cozy as the most motherly of nurses could have done, he crept away, leaving me to feel, as somebody says, "as if angels were a watching of me in my sleep;" though that species of wild fowl do not usually descend in broadcloth and glasses. I afterwards discovered that he split the wood himself on that cool January midnight, and went about making or mending fires for the poor old ladies in their dismal dens; thus causing himself to be felt--a bright and shining light in more ways than one. I never thanked him as I ought; therefore, I publicly make a note of it, and further aggravate that modest M.D. by saying that if this was not being the best of doctors and the gentlest of gentlemen, I shall be happy to see any improvement upon it. To such as wish to know where these scenes took place, I must respectfully decline to answer; for Hurly-burly House has ceased to exist as a hospital; so let it rest, with all its sins upon its head,--perhaps I should say chimney top. When the nurses felt ill, the doctors departed, and the patients got well, I believe the concern gently faded from existence, or was merged into some other and better establishment, where I hope the washing of three hundred sick people is done out of the house, the food is eatable, and mortal women are not expected to possess an angelic exemption from all wants, and the endurance of truck horses. Since the appearance of these hasty Sketches, I have heard from several of my comrades at the Hospital; and their approval assures me that I have not let sympathy and fancy run away with me, as that lively team is apt to do when harnessed to a pen. As no two persons see the same thing with the same eyes, my view of hospital life must be taken through my glass, and held for what it is worth. Certainly, nothing was set down in malice, and to the serious-minded party who objected to a tone of levity in some portions of the Sketches, I can only say that it is a part of my religion to look well after the cheerfulnesses of life, and let the dismals shift for themselves; believing, with good Sir Thomas More, that it is wise to "be merrie in God." The next hospital I enter will, I hope, be one for the colored regiments, as they seem to be proving their right to the admiration and kind offices of their white relations, who owe them so large a debt, a little part of which I shall be so proud to pay. Yours, With a firm faith In the good time coming, TRIBULATION PERIWINKLE. Publication Date: May 28th 2008 https://www.bookrix.com/-librarian

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-fj1e9c663776395_1496741764.8115570545/

امید اسماعیلی عکس دو نفره ketab - sherkat ketab - شرکت کتاب - ketab.com - ketab corp خوانندگان گرامی چنانچه در دریافت و خواندن کتاب، مجلات و یلوپیج شرکت کتاب با مشکلی برخورد کردید خوشحال می شویم که ما را آگاه سازید با تشکر مدیریت شرکت کتاب Ketab.com Email: Publishing@ketab.com 1           چند روزیه بدجور دارم دنبال خونه میگردم، قیمتها سرسام آوره، با این پولی که من دارم شاید بتونم یه آلونک پایین شهر کرایه کنم که حداقل یک سقفی بالای سرم باشه. امروز قراره یکی از بنگاههای مسکن یه خونه را بهم نشون بده، گفته بدک نیست میتونی توش زندگی کنی؛ یک خونه قدیمی که صاحبش تازه فوت شده و ورثه ای هم نداره، خونشو داده دست این بنگاهی که کرایه بده و پولهای کرایشو خرج خیریه و افراد نیازمند کنه. تو این چند روز که دنبال خونم اصلا فکرم هنگ کرده نمیتونم دیگه داستان بنویسم هیچ سوژه ای ندارم که هیچ، حوصله ای هم واسم نمونده کاش امروز این خونه جور بشه و یکم آرامش پیدا کنم. امسال پائیز خیلی سرد شده آدم قندیل می بنده ولی از برف و بارون خبری نیست. واقعا آدم یک سقف بالای سرش باشه چه نعمتیه، بعضی وقتها دلم به خاطر آدمایی که کارتن خوابند خیلی می سوزه دوست دارم همشونو جمع کنم و بیارم داخل خونهی خودم که حداقل شبها توی سرما نخوابند ولی بعدش به خودم فکر می کنم که اگه خونه ای پیدا نشه و صاحبخونه اسبابمو بندازه بیرون باید برم پیش همین کارتن خوابها و ازشون بخوام که کنار آتیششون به منم جا بدند تا از سرما سیاه نشم. بالاخره رسیدم دم مغازه مشاور املاک، خداراشکر خود آقای پناهی هم هست. - سلام - سلام علیکم، به به آقای داستان نویس قرارمون نیم ساعت پیش بود برادر من - خودتون که اهل همین شهرید آقای پناهی از ترافیکشم که باخبرید، ولی بازم شرمنده معطلتون کردم - دشمنتون، خب وسیله دارید که بریم خونه را ببینیم؟ - وسیله نه! - آخه این داستان نویسی هم شد شغل برادر من که از کنارش بتونی زندگیتو بچرخونی، حالا تو این سرما منو میخایی پیاده ببری؟ - خب حالا یه کاریش کن آقای پناهی، به خدا خیلی به این خونه دلمو خوش کردم نشه بدبختم باید شبو گوشه خیابون بخوابم. - خداخیرت بده؛ باشه بلند شو که بریم و زود برگردیم ببینیم چکار میشه کرد. دوباره زدم به دل سرمای خیابون اینبار با آقای پناهی، رفتیم تو دل کوچه پس کوچه های جنوب شهر. توی مسیر آقای پناهی دست بردار نبود و همینطور شغلمو تو سرم میزد، آخه کسی نیست بهش بگه به تو چه! تو که کارتو داری پولتو درمیاری زندگیتو میکنی به کار دیگران چکار داری؟ نمی تونستم بهش حرفیم بزنم بامبول درمیآورد و خونه را بهم نمیداد، تو همین فکرها بودم که رسیدیم دم یه خونه قدیمی! از ظاهرش معلوم بود حداقل مال پنجاه شصت ساله پیشه. در را باز کرد رفتیم داخل، از یک دالان نسبتا دراز گذشتیم و رسیدیم به حیاط. خونه بزرگی نبود ولی تو نگاه اول بزرگ به نظر میومد. یک حوض تشنه از آب وسط حیاط و چندتا درخت تشنه تر از حوض داخل یک باغچه خشکیده. رفتیم جلوتر و رسیدیم دم یه اتاق، خونش سه تا اتاق داشت که تودرتو بود و یک مطبخ که اونطرف حیاط بود. دوتا از اتاقهاش به خاطر ریزش سقفش غیرقابل استفاده بود و فقط یکی از اتاقهاش سالم بود و میشد داخلش به سختی زندگی کرد. دلم میخواست برگردم آخه اینجا دیگه کجا بود، مگه میشه توی این خرابه زندگی کرد؟!!؟ آقای پناهی یه نگاهی به صورت ناامیدم کرد: فکرشو کرده بودم که خوشت نیاد، ظاهر و باطن، اگه نپسندیدی برگردیم، توی این سرما من وخودتو اینجا نگه ندار. سرمو چسبوندم به شیشه اتاق و داخلشو نگاه کردم، یه اتاق تمیز و مرتب، وسایل اولیه زندگی هم داخلش چیده شده بود، فرش، سماور، یدونه صندلی چوبی، آینه؛ سرمو خم کردم و نگاهمو انداختم به قسمتهای بالایی اتاق یدونه ساعت به دیوار بود که هنوز داشت کار میکرد، زیر ساعت یکم پایین تر چندتا عکس بود که به دیوار چسبیده شده بود. در چوبی اتاق را باز کردم و رفتم داخل، - چی شده؟ خوشت اومده؟ - دستشوئیش دم در بود دیدم ولی حمامشو ندیدم! حمامش کجای خونست؟ - حمام نداره باید بری سر خیابون یدونه حمام عمومی هست. خوشت اومده یا نه؟ بدجوری رفتی تو بحرش! راست میگفت با اینکه زیاد به حرفهایی که میزد توجه نمیکردم رفته بودم تو بحرش! ولی نه تو بحر خونه بلکه عکسهایی که روی دیوار بود یک سری عکس شبیه به هم و از نظر زمانی به صورت سریالی. عکس اول یک زن و شوهر جوان بودند ولی عکسهای بعدی همون مرد بود که به مرور پیرتر شده بود همراه یک سنگ قبر که کنارش نشسته بود و عکس گرفته بود. سرمو برگردوندم به سمت آقای پناهی: شما می دونید این عکسها چیه؟ مال کیه؟ - اون مردی که توی عکس ها هست صاحب این خونست که گفتم فوت شده و اونم خانمشه که خیلی سال پیش عمرشو داد به شما، اصلا به این چیزها چکار داری برادر من به خدا از سرما مردم اگه خونه را پسندیدی بگو نپسندیدی هم بگو تا زودتر شرمونو کم کنیم و برگردیم مغازه. یه داستان رسیده بود به ذهنم، مخم از هنگی دراومده بود و خیلی سرحال شده بودم، به نظرم خونشم بد نمیومد، چرا باید بد باشه همین یدونه اتاقم واسم کافی بود: آقای پناهی برگردیم بنگاه من این خونه را میخوام، پسندیدم. *** یه چند روزی میشد که به خونه جدید نقل مکان کرده بودم، تو این چند روز فقط به فکر این بودم داستان جدیدمو شروع کنم، مرتب به عکسهای اون مرد و زن نگاه میکردم و هوسم واسه شروع داستان جدیدم بیشتر میشد تا اینکه بالاخره دست به قلم شدم و شروع کردم به نوشتن: عکس دونفره طبق عادت شصت و چند سالش رأس ساعت شش بیدار شد، یه دستی به موهای سفید و ژولیدش کشید و با خمیازه ای بلند از جای خودش بلند شد. رفت سمت در اتاق و در را باز کرد که سوز سرد پائیزی صورت پیرشو نوازش داد ولی انقدر از این نوازشها دیده بود که حتی لحظه ای هم مکث نکرد، رفت بیرون و در اتاقو بست. پارچی که لبهی ایوان بود را برداشت و رفت به سمت شیر وسط حیاط، اول دست و صورتشو شست انگار نه پائیزی هست و نه سرمایی پارچو پر از آب کرد و برگشت سمت اتاق؛ به ایوان نرسیده بود که صدای خش دار کلاغی که روی شاخه درخت خشکیده وسط حیاط بود نظرشو جلب کرد، برگشت و نگاهش کرد، کلاغ آهسته از روی شاخه بلند شد و پرکشید، با چشماش کلاغو دنبال کرد تا اینکه چشماش به نقطه ای از آسمون معطوف شد به ابر سیاه و غمناکی که درد اون روز را واسش بیشتر میکرد. برگشت و رفت داخل اتاق. سماور را پر آب کرد و زیرشو روشن کرد، دستشو گذاشت سر زانوشو بلند شد و رفت سمت کمد؛ توی آینه ای که روی در کمد نصب کرده بود به خودش نگاهی کرد، هیچ حسی توی چشمای خودش نمیدید چقدر بی روح و کسل بود چقدر پیر و شکسته شده بود، در کمد را آروم باز کرد و یواش یواش تصویرش داخل آینه محو شد و یک کوه وسایل قدیمی جلوی چشماش ظاهر شد. چمدانی که داخل کمد بود را بیرون آورد و گذاشت روی صندلی چوبی قدیمیش. درشو باز کرد و از داخلش یک دست کت و شلوار و یک دوربین آنتیک و قدیمی بیرون آورد. در کمد را آروم بست تا دوباره بتونه خودشو داخل آینه ببینه، کت و شلوارشو آهسته و با طمأنینه زیاد پوشید و خودشو داخل آینه برانداز کرد. خم شد و از داخل چمدان یه شیشه عطر برداشت و تکونش داد ولی چیزی دیگه داخلش نمونده بود، تتمشو زد به کت و شلوارش و شیشه عطرو برگردوند داخل چمدان. یکبار دیگه خودشو داخل آینه برانداز کرد، دوربین قدیمیشو برداشت و یه نگاهی بهش کرد درشو باز کرد و از پلاستیکی که داخل چمدان بود فیلمشو برداشت و گذاشت داخل دوربین. دوربینو گذاشت روی طاقچه و رفت پشت در چوبی اتاقش و زل زد به حیاط. گذشتش از جلوی چشمش رژه میرفت، روزهایی که با همسرش عشق بازی میکرد باهاش میخندید و گریه میکرد، چه زود تنهاش گذاشت و همه چیز تموم شد دقیقا همچین روزی بود که همسرش تصادف کرد و دیگه دستاشو تو دستاش نتونست لمس کنه، نتونست تو چشماش زل بزنه و بهش بگه دوستش داره ولی تنها کاری که میتونست واسش بکنه وفاداری به عشقش بود و اینو تا اون لحظه بهش ثابت کرده بود. صدای قل قل سماور رشتهی افکارشو پاره کرد و از گذشتش دورش کرد؛ رفت سراغ سماور و چاییشو آماده کرد، در چمدانشو بست و دوباره گذاشتش داخل کمد، صندلی را برداشت و از اتاق برد بیرون و گذاشتش توی ایوان. برگشت و نشست کنار سماور تا چایی آماده بشه. *** منم چاییم آماده شد گلویی تازه میکنم و دوباره شروع میکنم به نوشتن. ................................................................................ خب *** استکانشو گذاشت کنار سماور و از جای خودش بلند شد؛ ساعتو از روی دیوار برداشت، باطریشو درآورد، ساعتو گذاشت روی طاقچه و باطری را انداخت روی دوربین. زیر سماور را خاموش کرد و از اتاق رفت بیرون. خودشو گذاشت انتهای ایوان و یدونه قمقمه آب و یدونه طناب از خرت و پرت های تلنبار شدش کشید بیرون، قمقمه و دوربینو گذاشت داخل خورجین دوچرخش و با طناب صندلیشو بست به پشت دوچرخه. دوچرخه را برداشت و رفت سمت دالان و از در زد بیرون. صدای رکاب روغن نخورده دوچرخه و کشیده شدن صندلی روی زمین کوچه باغهای پائیزی را پر کرده بود. صدایی که دیوارهای کاهگلی دیگه باهاش عجین شده بودند، میدونستند صدای قلب مشتاق یه عاشق واسه دیدن معشوقشه که اینطوری داره خودنمایی می کنه. نفسهاش به شمارش افتاده بود ولی صدای چاه موتور از دور به گوشش می رسید و هر چه توان واسش مونده بود را گذاشت تا خودشو بهش برسونه. رسید و دوچرخشو تکیه داد به درخت، آبی به دست و صورتش زد و یه جرعه آب خورد و رفت وسط باغ. خودشو میون گلها رها کرده بود و به چهره بی حس و عبوسش خنده نشسته بود معلوم بود داشت خاطراتشو مرور میکرد، وسط باغ که رسید میخکوب شد نگاهشو برد به سمتی از باغ و بهش زل زد، خندهی روی لباش خشکید و دوباره چهرش عبوس و بی حس شد. آروم رفت به همون سمت و چند شاخه گل چید و بو کرد، خسته و بی رمق تر برگشت به سمت دوچرخش تا به مسیرش ادامه بده. صدای رکاب زدن دوچرخهی قدیمیش با صدای کلاغها و خش خش برگهای پائیزی یکی شده بود و سکوت سرد و غمگین قبرستان را دربرگرفته بود. آروم از دوچرخش پیاده شد و دوچرخشو تکیه داد و رفت سراغ سنگ قبری که سنگ قبر همسرش بود. نشست کنارش و شروع کرد به فاتحه خوندن. فاتحشو که خوند اومد سراغ وسایلی که همراه خودش آورده بود صندلی را از دوچرخه باز کرد و گذاشت کنار سنگ قبر، دوربینشو درآورد گذاشت روی صندلی و قمقمه را برداشت تا آبی برای شستن سنگ قبر بیاره. گلهایی را که از باغ چیده بود گذاشت روی سنگ قبر و دوربین را برداشت و رفت سراغ سنگ بزرگی که کنار قبر همسرش بود. دوربینو گذاشت روی سنگ و تنظیمش کرد و سریع برگشت و روی صندلی نشست. عکس دونفره گرفته شد؛ امسال هم سر قول خودش مونده بود، هنوز به عهد و پیمانی که با همدیگه بسته بودند پایبند بود و ذره ای از وفاداریش کم نشده بود. آروم از روی صندلی جدا شد و خودشو انداخت روی سنگ قبر و شروع کرد به گریه کردن، نبودن همسرش باعث نشده بود که فراموشش کنه باعث نشده بود که به حرفهای بی ارزش دیگران گوش کنه باعث نشده بود که عشق توی قلبش پوسیده بشه. خانوادش چقدر گفتند که دوباره ازدواج کن چه دخترهایی را که بهش نشون ندادند و واسش درنظر نگرفتند ولی پایبند به عشقش موند چون کسی نمی تونست جای خالی همسرش را پر کنه، کسی نمی تونست عشقی بالاتر از عشقی که همسرش بهش داده بود را بهش بده. هوا دیگه تاریک شده بود که چشماشو باز کرد و اطرافشو نگاهی انداخت. دانه های اولین برف پائیزی صورت و دستای پیر و فرتوتشو نوازش میدادند، با دستش کشید روی سنگ قبر و برفهاشو کنار زد تا یکبار دیگه اسم همسرشو ببینه، بوسیدشو از کنارش بلند شد، وسایلشو جمع کرد و دوباره نگاهی به سنگ قبر انداخت و به راه افتاد. در اتاق را باز کرد و سوز برف را همراه خودش مهمون اتاق کرد، رفت به سمت دیواری که عکسهای دونفرشو بهش نصب کرده بود و عکس جدیدو نصب کرد کنار عکسهای دیگه. *** شاید این داستانی که نوشتم عین حقیقت باشه، شاید قصه این زن و مرد داخل عکس همین بوده، شاید اصلا زمین تا آسمون با این قصه فرق داشته ولی هرچی که بوده تو انتخاب اسم داستانم اشتباه نکردم: عکس دونفره.     پایان Publication Date: June 6th 2017 https://www.bookrix.com/-fj1e9c663776395

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BANANA4BOOKS drama 1nce again our move Today's the day me and my family move to New york,so far we moved 8 times since I started high school,I hate moving because that means you leave all your friends behind but this once i'm actually happy to be moving because what happened the past year at jaguar high is to much for me.just because im mixed with black and mexican and i have a light golden tone,stright hair,and developed curves boys think i'm dumb, I can't wait for this new school year to start i want to get a chance to start over and let my painful past go.as my loco(crazy) hispanic mom Beatrisea sing to a J-LO cd,my dad Matt continuosly checks the GPS,and my sister 12 yr old jayleen plays with her DSI,I get butterflys in my stomach because i'm nervous,I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep with a smile on my face..... "HONEY WE'RE HERE"my dad yelled I quickly opened my hazel eyes and looked around WOW! I thought to myself as I look around the busy street,I looked to my right to see my mom standing in front of a light beige house with a neatly chopped lawn,lots of palm-green trees and even a patio for chilling I ran upstairs to find a big bedromm decorated with purple and pule walls "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH"I screamed tody's been a long day and we just arrived at 10:oo p.m i'm exhausted I forgot what happened the rest of the night all i remember is telling my folks good night and jumping into bed. school oriontation : My parents already registered me for school so today as soon as I woke up my mom was getting ready to brin me to see my new school while my dad was already at my sister's new school,"Honey come on down for breakfast chica"my mom beatrisea said as I slipped into my Hollister shirt with booty shorts and a pair of jordans,when I arrived downstairs I see a plate full of bakon and cheese "looks good mamita" I said, as I sat down and ate,I was so anxious that I only ate 2 pieces of bacon,I got in the car and started texting my best friend from last year.shes the best even though all those things that happened in my old school she stood by me through everything,thats why i'll always love her. ME:Hi jalee im going to see my school today. JAYLEE:AWWWW....I miss you so much I've beeen crying all night. ME:i miss you toooo:{ JAYLEE:well at least you can get a new start and get away from all the things dat happened last year. ME:thx dats y luv u :) JAYLEE:I LOVE U MMMMMMMMMMOOOOORRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEE!!!!! ME:i dont think so I hope I find someone at dis new school like you JAYLEE:I hope u do 2,bye gud luck ttyl:] that was the end of our conversation before i realized that we arrived the school,after my mom parked I opened me dook and got out as i looked around I see a 8 story building painted red and black and at the top of the bulilding there stood a sign that read:YOUNG BELIEVERS HIGH SCHOOL HOME OF THE EAGLES,all that was going through my head was *wow this is so beautiful maybe just maybe i can start over*.as soon as we walked inside a short round-faced black aldy greeted us and haded my mom a brochure and she handed me a schedule with the directions on how to get from class to class and she told me toq go to all the classes to meet students and teachers,after she talked to me I headed toward my first class,when I got there there was this light-skinned womman who Im guessing is mrs.Hardcock her name is so funny anyways I walked to the back of the room and sat there alone while mrs.Hardcock waited for more kids to come abut 10 minutes later this cute ligh- brown looking boy came and sat next to me "Hi,i'm Derek"he said with a huge smile on his face with dimples he looked so cute to continue ....... Publication Date: April 10th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-banana4books

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Chalen D. The Twins My mom thinks she knows me, but she doesn't. she never takes the time to know me. when my mom was 15 she had me and my twin. my dad moved with his family taking my sister with him. My sister is your typical model cheerleader. i'm the kid that sits at the back of the class Hood up earphones in. i got tired of my mom telling me how much we looked alike so i dyed my hair red. right now my mom is shopping for food and i'm following hood up ear phones in sun glasses on. i looked up, to check around, when i saw my mom talking to me. "what?" i asked, taking out a head phone. a cart hit hers. "oh i'm sorry." the man said. "josh." my mom said. "alise?" he said, leaning forward. "whoa your still breath taking." he said. "gag me with a spoon i'm going to the car." i said. "Kaycey, this is Josh." my mom said. "what's up dude?" i asked, still walking. i through up my hand in greeting. "dinner!" my mom yelled. i came into the kitchen. "sorry about the small space things are kinda tight around here." she said. josh sat in a chair. i came in all the way. josh looked up and smiled. i mean really smiled, like the smile that happens when you see someone you really love and haven't seen anyone. a Blonde girl came and stood beside me. i looked at her and took a step back. her head inched towards the side. At the same time we lifted our hands and touched each other's cheek. "what's going on here?" i asked. "this is kayley, your sister." my mom said. i looked at the girl. "but where so different." kayley said. "that's what happens when your raised different, kk." josh said. "kaycey, kayley, please sit." my mom said. kayley sat down, but i stayed put. "kaycey, please, we need to talk." josh said. of course we do. "let me take a guess. you and mom fell for each other, and are getting back together, and we're moving to a Hollywood, ruining my life here, and then you'll get married and you'll want me and kayley of here, to be best friends so we can all live happily ever after." i said. josh looked at my mom. "she can read people." she siad. "look everything will work out." my mom said. "yeah, why don't i believe it?" i asked. "kaycey!" my mom called, as i went down the small hall into my room. josh came in. "look save the the lecture, we've been just fine with out you." i said. josh sat on the bed in front of me, i cracked my jaw in annoyance. "your mom's right, she knows you best." he said. i cut him off. "she knows nothing about me, the only person that is even close to knowing me is kayley, and that's not saying much, now is it?" i asked. "look, i know things are hard. but it will get better." he said. i stood. "you better be right josh." i said. i went back to the kitchen and ate in silence. i packed my closest belongings and we drove to Hollywood. "what do you think?" he asked. "i'm tired." i said. i was shown to my room, and fell asleep. the next morning i got dressed in black pants a blue shirt and my leather jacket. i put on red lip gloss and pined back my hair with a white rose. as soon as we where at school, kayley took off and hugged all her friends. i walked the other direction, cause i was not going to be the girl that needed her sisters friends. i sat on a wall and waited for the bell. "hey i'm allie." a girl with orange hair said. "kaycey." i said. "so your kayley's sister." she said. "worse." i said, slipping my sunglasses down my nose. "i'm her twin." i said. "harsh." she said. "tell me about it." i said. when i got home i did my home work and called my best friend hayley. "everything is so big here."{ i said. "take pictures, i gotta get to drama club." she said. i went down stairs and found the music room. "whoa." i said. "nice right?" josh asked. "i try to get kayley to sing, but she can't." he said. "you got the wrong twin." i said. "you can sing?" he asked. "even angels have their wicked schemes, and you take that to new extremes, but you'll always be my hero even though you've lost your mind." i sang. "whoa. you right." he said. i smiled and backed out of the room. that night they sat us down. "i'm pregnant." my mom said. me and kayley stood. "what?!" we yelled. we looked at each other and then to mom. "don't worry we're getting married." josh said. "what?" we asked. "calm down." my mom said. "you don't even pay attention to me or even kayley for that matter how could you bring a baby into this family?" i said. "if this is even one." i said. "kaycey!" josh called as i ran up the stairs. they tried to get me to open the door but i didn't. "open up kid!" kayley said. i opened the door. she came in and hugged me. i hugged her back. "look, mom and dad are out of their minds. they where never really there fir us. we have each other now so, we need to stick together." she said. "i just feel bad for the baby." i said, "i don't they'll have us." she said. we laughed. "yeah that's their only hope." i said. we laughed eight months passed and we had four days till we turned 16. right now we sat in the back seat of my moms car on the way to get dresses. "okay this one is for kaycey." they girl said. a girl came out in a black dress. "I love it." i said. "this one is for kayley." the girl said. a girl came out in the pink dress i picked for kayley. "oh i love it that's the one." she said. "everyone can i have your attention!" kayley yelled at lunch time. she stood on a table. "as you all know i'm turning sixteen, with kaycey." she said. she pulled me up onto the table. everyone started to talk. "as you know we're having a party at our house. anyone that wants to came is invited." she said. everyone yelled. "so two lines one in front of me and one in front of kaycey, we're passing out the invites." she said. everyone got in line, and we passed out the envelopes. people set up the party as we got ready. i put on the dress and paced my room. music started to play and people started to party. i heard clapping as kayley walked down the stairs. i took a deep breath and walked down the stairs. people didn't clap instead they just stared with smiles, and gasps. i met with kayley. we partied, and had cake. i sat down by the pool. "so how does it feel to be a year older?' josh asked. "old." i said. "i have something for you." he said. he took a little box out of his pocket and opened it. i stared open mouthed as he slipped the ring on my finger. he kissed my forehead. "that way you'll always know i love you." he said. he got up to leave. he was almost to the door when i stood. "daddy!" i yelled. he turned. then i did something i never did before. i ran to him letting him catch me in a hug. "i love you." i said. "i love you kaycey." he said. after the party, my mom's water broke. "oh no." she said. "what?" my dad asked. "baby's coming." she said. we got her to the hospital. "wow, you guys exited for the baby to come?" the doctor asked. we where all dressed in the party clothes. "no, it's our birthday today, we had a party." kayley said. "and know where here." i said. the baby was born exactly at 11:59:59. "looks like next year, we're having a party for three girls." dad said. we laughed. "kayce, kk, name her." my mom said. me and kayley looked at each other before we said, "logan." our parents waited, a year before they got married. me and kayley dyed our hair to mach our dress, mom was mad, but forgave us. our bound as a family is stronger than ever and that, is what i'm thankful for. KAYCEY KAYLEY LOGAN MOM (ALISE) DAD (JOSH) ALLIE HAYLEY HOUSE LIBRARY LIVING ROOM KITCHEN MUSIC ROOM KAYCEY BEDROOM KAYCEY BATHROOM KAYCEY CLOSET KAYCEY BIRTHDAY DRESS KAYCEY BIRTHDAY RING KAYCEY DRESS FOR WEDDING KAYLEY BEDROOM KAYLEY BIRTHDAY DRESS KAYLEY BIRTHDAY RING KAYLEY DRESS FOR WEDDING BIRTHDAY PARTY LOGAN DRESS FOR WEDDING MOM DRESS FOR WEDDING WEDDING WEDDING CAKE POOL KAYCEY AND KAYlLEY Publication Date: April 5th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-chalen

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Shadow FOx Suicide, A technical glitch, and One Pussy Publication Date: February 5th 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-shadowwind

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-mrs-henry-wood-elster-039-s-folly-2/

Mrs. Henry Wood Elster's Folly Chapter 1 (By The Early Train) The Ascending Sun Threw Its Slanting Rays Abroad On A Glorious August Morning,  And The Little World Below Began To Awaken Into Life--The Life Of Another Day Of Sanguine Pleasure Or Of Fretting Care.   Not On Many Fairer Scenes Did Those Sunbeams Shed Their Radiance Than On One Existing In The Heart Of England; But Almost Any Landscape Will Look Beautiful In The Early Light Of A Summer's Morning. The County,  One Of The Midlands,  Was Justly Celebrated For Its Scenery; Its Rich Woods And Smiling Plains,  Its River And Gentler Streams. The Harvest Was Nearly Gathered In--It Had Been A Late Season--But A Few Fields Of Golden Grain, In Process Of Reaping,  Gave Their Warm Tints To The Landscape. In No Part Of The Country Had The Beauties Of Nature Been Bestowed More Lavishly Than On This,  The Village Of Calne,  Situated About Seven Miles From The County Town.   It Was An Aristocratic Village,  On The Whole. The Fine Seat Of The Earl Of Hartledon,  Rising Near It,  Had Caused A Few Families Of Note To Settle There,  And The Nest Of White Villas Gave The Place A Prosperous And Picturesque Appearance. But It Contained A Full Proportion Of The Poor Or Labouring Class; And These People Were Falling Very Much Into The Habit Of Writing The Village "Cawn," In Accordance With Its Pronunciation. Phonetic Spelling Was More In Their Line Than Johnson's Dictionary. Of What May Be Called The Middle Class The Village Held Few,  If Any: There Were The Gentry,  The Small Shopkeepers,  And The Poor.   Calne Had Recently Been Exalted Into Importance. A Year Or Two Before This Bright August Morning Some Good Genius Had Brought A Railway To It--A Railway And A Station,  With All Its Accompanying Work And Bustle. Many Trains Passed It In The Course Of The Day; For It Was In The Direct Line Of Route From The County Town,  Garchester,  To London,  And The Traffic Was Increasing. People Wondered What Travellers Had Done,  And What Sort Of A Round They Traversed,  Before This Direct Line Was Made.   The Village Itself Lay Somewhat In A Hollow,  The Ground Rising To A Gentle Eminence On Either Side. On The One Eminence,  To The West,  Was Situated The Station; On The Other,  Eastward,  Rose The Large Stone Mansion,  Hartledon House. The Railway Took A Slight _Detour_ Outside Calne,  And Was A Conspicuous Feature To Any Who Chose To Look At It; For The Line Had Been Raised Above The Village Hollow To Correspond With The Height At Either End.   Six O'clock Was Close At Hand,  And The Station Began To Show Signs Of Life. The Station-Master Came Out Of His Cottage,  And Opened One Or Two Doors On The Platform. He Had Held The Office Scarcely A Year Yet; And Had Come A Stranger To Calne. Sitting Down In His Little Bureau Of A Place,  On The Door Of Which Was Inscribed "Station-Master--Private," He Began Sorting Papers On The Desk Before Him. A Few Minutes,  And The Clock Struck Six; Upon Which He Went Out To The Platform. It Was An Open Station,  As These Small Stations Generally Are,  The Small Waiting-Rooms And Offices On Either Side Scarcely Obstructing The View Of The Country, And The Station-Master Looked Far Out In The Distance,  Towards The East, Beyond The Low-Lying Village Houses,  Shading His Eyes With His Hand From The Dazzling Sun.   "Her's Late This Morning."   The Interruption Came From The Surly Porter,  Who Stood By,  And Referred To The Expected Train,  Which Ought To Have Been In Some Minutes Before. According To The Precise Time,  As Laid Down In The Way-Bills,  It Should Reach Calne Seven Minutes Before Six.   "They Have A Heavy Load,  Perhaps," Remarked The Station-Master.   The Train Was Chiefly For Goods; A Slow Train,  Taking No One Knew How Many Hours To Travel From London. It Would Bring Passengers Also; But Very Few Availed Themselves Of It. Now And Then It Happened That The Station At Calne Was Opened For Nothing; The Train Just Slackened Its Speed And Went On,  Leaving Neither Goods Nor Anything Else Behind It. Sometimes It Took A Few Early Travellers From Calne To Garchester; Especially On Wednesdays And Saturdays,  Garchester Market-Days; But It Rarely Left Passengers At Calne.   "Did You Hear The News,  Mr. Markham?" Asked The Porter.   "What News?" Returned The Station-Master.   "I Heard It Last Night. Jim Come Into The Elster Arms With It,  And _He'd_ Heard It At Garchester. We Are Going To Have Two More Sets O' Telegraph Wires Here. I Wonder How Much More Work They'll Give Us To Do?"   "So You Were At The Elster Arms Again Last Night,  Jones?" Remarked The Station-Master,  His Tone Reproving,  Whilst He Passed Over In Silence Mr. Jones's Item Of News.   "I Wasn't In Above An Hour," Grumbled The Man.   "Well,  It Is Your Own Look-Out,  Jones. I Have Said What I Could To You At Odd Times; But I Believe It Has Only Tried Your Patience; So I'll Say No More."   "Has My Wife Been Here Again Complaining?" Asked The Man,  Raising His Face In Anger.   "No; I Have Not Seen Your Wife,  Except At Church,  These Two Months. But I Know What Public-Houses Are To You,  And I Was Thinking Of Your Little Children."   "Ugh!" Growled The Man,  Apparently Not Gratified At The Reminder Of His Flock; "There's A Peck O' _Them_ Surely! Here She Comes!"   The Last Sentence Was Spoken In A Different Tone; One Of Relief,  Either At Getting Rid Of The Subject,  Or At The Arrival Of The Train. It Was About Opposite To Hartledon When He Caught Sight Of It,  And It Came On With A Shrill Whistle,  Skirting The Village It Towered Above; A Long Line Of Covered Waggons With A Passenger Carriage Or Two Attached To Them. Slackening Its Pace Gradually,  But Not In Time,  It Shot Past The Station, And Had To Back Into It Again.   The Guard Came Out Of His Box And Opened The Door Of One Of The Carriages--A Dirty-Looking Second-Class Compartment; The Other Was A Third-Class; And A Gentleman Leaped Out. A Tall,  Slender Man Of About Four-And-Twenty; A Man Evidently Of Birth And Breeding. He Wore A Light Summer Overcoat On His Well-Cut Clothes,  And Had A Most Attractive Face.   "Is There Any Law Against Putting On A First-Class Carriage To This Night-Train?" He Asked The Guard In A Pleasing Voice.   "Well,  Sir,  We Never Get First-Class Passengers By It," Replied The Man; "Or Hardly Any Passengers At All,  For The Matter Of That. We Are Too Long On The Road For Passengers To Come By Us."   "It Might Happen,  Though," Returned The Traveller,  Significantly. "At Any Rate,  I Suppose There's No Law Against Your Carriages Being Clean, Whatever Their Class. Look At That One."   He Pointed To The One He Had Just Left,  As He Walked Up To The Station-Master. The Guard Looked Cross,  And Gave The Carriage Door A Slam.   "Was A Portmanteau Left Here Last Night By The Last Train From London?" Inquired The Traveller Of The Station-Master.   "No,  Sir; Nothing Was Left Here. At Least,  I Think Not. Any Name On It, Sir?"   "Elster."   A Quick Glance From The Station-Master's Eyes Met The Answer. Elster Was The Name Of The Family At Hartledon. He Wondered Whether This Could Be One Of Them,  Or Whether The Name Was Merely A Coincidence.   "There Was No Portmanteau Left,  Was There,  Jones?" Asked The Station-Master.   "There Couldn't Have Been," Returned The Porter,  Touching His Cap To The Stranger. "I Wasn't On Last Night; Jim Was; But It Would Have Been Put In The Office For Sure; And There's Not A Ghost Of A Thing In It This Morning."   "It Must Have Been Taken On To Garchester," Remarked The Traveller; And, Turning To The Guard,  He Gave Him Directions To Look After It,  And Despatch It Back Again By The First Train,  Slipping At The Same Time A Gratuity Into His Hand.   The Guard Touched His Hat Humbly; He Now Knew Who The Gentleman Was. And He Went Into Inward Repentance For Slamming The Carriage-Door,  As He Got Into His Box,  And The Engine And Train Puffed On.   "You'll Send It Up As Soon As It Comes," Said The Traveller To The Station-Master.   "Where To,  Sir?"   The Stranger Raised His Eyes In Slight Surprise,  And Pointed To The House In The Distance. He Had Assumed That He Was Known.   "To Hartledon."   Then He _Was_ One Of The Family! The Station-Master Touched His Hat. Mr. Jones,  In The Background,  Touched His,  And For The First Time The Traveller's Eye Fell Upon Him As He Was Turning To Leave The Platform.   "Why,  Jones! It's Never You?"   "Yes,  It Is,  Sir." But Mr. Jones Looked Abashed As He Acknowledged Himself. And It May Be Observed That His Language,  When Addressing This Gentleman,  Was A Slight Improvement Upon The Homely Phraseology Of His Everyday Life.   "But--You Are Surely Not Working Here!--A Porter!"   "My Business Fell Through,  Sir," Returned The Man. "I'm Here Till I Can Turn Myself Round,  Sir,  And Get Into It Again."   "What Caused It To Fall Through?" Asked The Traveller; A Kindly Sympathy In His Fine Blue Eyes.   Mr. Jones Shuffled Upon One Foot. He Would Not Have Given The True Answer--"Drinking"--For The World.   "There's Such Opposition Started Up In The Place,  Sir; Folks Would Draw Your Heart's Blood From You If They Could. And Then I've Such A Lot Of Mouths To Feed. I Can't Think What The Plague Such A Tribe Of Children Come For. Nobody Wants 'Em."   The Traveller Laughed; But Put No Further Questions. Remembering Somewhat Of Mr. Jones's Propensity In The Old Days,  He Thought Perhaps Something Besides Children And Opposition Had Had To Do With The Downfall. He Stood For A Moment Looking At The Station Which Had Not Been Completed When He Last Saw It--And A Very Pretty Station It Was,  Surrounded By Its Gay Flowerbeds--And Then Went Down The Road.   "I Suppose He Is One Of The Hartledon Family,  Jones?" Said The Station-Master,  Looking After Him.   "He's The Earl's Brother," Replied Mr. Jones,  Relapsing Into Sulkiness. "There's Only Them Two Left; T'other Died. Wonder If They Be Coming To Hartledon Again? Calne Haven't Seemed The Same Since They Left It."   "Which Is This One?"   "He Can't Be Anybody But Himself," Retorted Mr. Jones,  Irascibly,  Deeming The Question Superfluous. "There Be But The Two Left,  I Say--The Earl And Him; Everybody Knows Him For The Honourable Percival Elster. The Other Son,  George,  Died; Leastways,  Was Murdered."   "Murdered!" Echoed The Station-Master Aghast.   "I Don't See That It Could Be Called Much Else But Murder," Was Mr. Jones's Answer. "He Went Out With My Lord's Gamekeepers One Night And Got Shot In A Poaching Fray. 'Twas Never Known For Certain Who Fired The Shot,  But I Think I Could Put My Finger On The Man If I Tried. Much Good _That_ Would Do,  Though! There's No Proof."   "What Are You Saying,  Jones?" Cried The Station-Master,  Staring At His Subordinate,  And Perhaps Wondering Whether He Had Already That Morning Paid A Visit To The Tap Of The Elster Arms.   "I'm Saying Nothing That Half The Place Didn't Say At The Time,  Mr. Markham. _You_ Hadn't Come Here Then,  Mr. Elster--He Was The Honourable George--Went Out One Night With The Keepers When Warm Work Was Expected, And Got Shot For His Pains. He Lived Some Weeks,  But They Couldn't Cure Him. It Was In The Late Lord's Time. _He_ Died Soon After,  And The Place Has Been Deserted Ever Since."   "And Who Do You Suppose Fired The Shot?"   "Don't Know That It 'Ud Be Safe To Say," Rejoined The Man. "He Might Give My Neck A Twist Some Dark Night If He Heard On't. He's The Blackest Sheep We've Got In Calne,  Sir."   "I Suppose You Mean Pike," Said The Station-Master. "He Has The Character For Being That,  I Believe. I've Seen No Harm In The Man Myself."   "Well,  It Was Pike," Said The Porter. "That Is,  Some Of Us Suspected Him. And That's How Mr. George Elster Came By His Death. And This One,  Mr. Percival,  Shot Up Into Notice,  As Being The Only One Left,  Except Lord Elster."   "And Who's Lord Elster?" Asked The Station-Master,  Not Remembering To Have Heard The Title Before.   Mr. Jones Received The Question With Proper Contempt. Having Been Familiar With Hartledon And Its Inmates All His Life,  He Had As Little Compassion For Those Who Were Not So,  As He Would Have Had For A Man Who Did Not Understand That Garchester Was In England.   "The Present Earl Of Hartledon," Said He,  Shortly. "In His Father's Lifetime--And The Old Lord Lived To See Mr. George Buried--He Was Lord Elster. Not One Of My Tribe Of Brats But Could Tell That Any Lord Elster Must Be The Eldest Son Of The Earl Of Hartledon," He Concluded With A Fling At His Superior.   "Ah,  Well,  I Have Had Other Things To Do Since I Came Here Besides Inquiring Into Titles And Folks That Don't Concern Me," Remarked The Station-Master. "What A Good-Looking Man He Is!"   The Praise Applied To Mr. Elster,  After Whom He Was Throwing A Parting Look. Jones Gave An Ungracious Assent,  And Turned Into The Shed Where The Lamps Were Kept,  To Begin His Morning's Work.   All The World Would Have Been Ready To Echo The Station-Master's Words As To The Good Looks Of Percival Elster,  Known Universally Amidst His Friends As Val Elster; For These Good Looks Did Not Lie So Much In Actual Beauty--Which One Lauds,  And Another Denies,  According To Its Style--As In The Singularly Pleasant Expression Of Countenance; A Gift That Finds Its Weight With All.   He Possessed A Bright Face; His Complexion Was Fair And Fresh,  His Eyes Were Blue And Smiling,  His Features Were Good; And As He Walked Down The Road,  And Momentarily Lifted His Hat To Push His Light Hair--As Much Of A Golden Colour As Hair Ever Is--From His Brow,  And Gave A Cordial "Good-Day" To Those Who Met Him On Their Way To Work--Few Strangers But Would Have Given Him A Second Look Of Admiration. A Physiognomist Might Have Found Fault With The Face; And,  Whilst Admitting Its Sweet Expression,  Would Have Condemned It For Its Utter Want Of Resolution. What Of That? The Inability To Say "No" To Any Sort Of Persuasion, Whether For Good Or Ill; In Short,  A Total Absence Of What May Be Called Moral Courage; Had Been From His Childhood Val Elster's Besetting Sin.   There Was A Joke Against Little Val When He Was A Boy Of Seven. Some Playmates Had Insisted Upon His Walking Into A Pond,  And Standing There. Poor Val,  Quite Unable To Say "No," Walked In,  And Was Nearly Drowned For His Pains. It Had Been A Joke Against Him Then; How Many Such "Jokes" Could Have Been Brought Against Him Since He Grew Up,  Val Himself Could Alone Tell. As The Child Had Been,  So Was The Man. The Scrapes His Irresolution Brought Him Into He Did Not Care To Glance At; And Whilst Only Too Well Aware Of His One Lamentable Deficiency,  He Was Equally Aware That He Was Powerless To Stand Against It.   People,  In Speaking Of This,  Called It "Elster's Folly." His Extreme Sensitiveness As To The Feelings Of Other People,  Whether Equals Or Inferiors,  Was,  In A Degree,  One Of The Causes Of This Yielding Nature; And He Would Almost Rather Have Died Than Offer Any One A Personal Offence,  An Insulting Word Or Look. There Are Such Characters In The World; None Can Deny That They Are Amiable; But,  Oh,  How Unfit To Battle With Life!   Mr. Elster Walked Slowly Through The Village On His Way To Hartledon, Whose Inmates He Would Presently Take By Surprise. It Was About Twenty Months Since He Had Been There. He Had Left Hartledon At The Close Of The Last Winter But One; An Appointment Having Been Obtained For Him As An _Attache_ To The Paris Embassy. Ten Months Of Service,  And Some Scrape He Fell Into Caused Him (A Good Deal Of Private Interest Was Brought To Bear In The Matter) To Be Removed To Vienna; But He Had Not Remained There Very Long. He Seemed To Have A Propensity For Getting Into Trouble,  Or Rather An Inability To Keep Out Of It. Latterly He Had Been Staying In London With His Brother.   His Thoughts Wandered To The Past As He Looked At The Chimneys Of Hartledon--All He Could See Of It--From The Low-Lying Ground. He Remembered The Happy Time When They Had Been Children In It; Five Of Them--The Three Boys And The Two Girls--He Himself The Youngest And The Pet. His Eldest Sister,  Margaret,  Had Been The First To Leave It. She Married Sir James Cooper,  And Went With Him To His Remote Home In Scotland,  Where She Was Still. The Second To Go Was Laura,  Who Married Captain Level,  And Accompanied Him To India. Then He,  Val,  A Young Man In His Teens,  Went Out Into The World,  And Did All Sorts Of Harm In It In An Unintentional Sort Of Way; For Percival Elster Never Did Wrong By Premeditation. Next Came The Death Of His Mother. He Was Called Home From A Sojourn In Scotland--Where His Stay Had Been Prolonged From The Result Of An Accident--To Bid Her Farewell. Then He Was At Home For A Year Or More,  Making Love To Charming Anne Ashton. The Next Move Was His Departure For Paris; Close Upon Which,  Within A Fortnight,  Occurred The Calamity To His Brother George. He Came Back From Paris To See Him In London,  Whither George Had Been Conveyed For Medical Advice,  And There Then Seemed A Chance Of His Recovery; But It Was Not Borne Out,  And The Ill-Fated Young Man Died. Lord Hartledon's Death Was The Next. He Had An Incurable Complaint,  And His Death Followed Close Upon His Son's. Lord Elster Became Earl Of Hartledon; And He,  Val,  Heir-Presumptive. Heir-Presumptive! Val Elster Was Heir To All Sorts Of Follies,  But--   "Good Morning To Your Lordship!"   The Speaker Was A Man In A Smock-Frock,  Passing With A Reaping-Hook On His Shoulder. Mr. Elster's Sunny Face And Cheery Voice Gave Back The Salutation With Tenfold Heartiness,  Smiling At The Title. Half The Peasantry Had Been Used To Addressing The Brothers So,  Indiscriminately; They Were All Lords To Them.   The Interruption Awoke Mr. Elster From His Thoughts,  And He Marched Gaily On Down The Middle Of The Road,  Noting Its Familiar Features. The Small Shops Were On His Right Hand,  The Line Of Rails Behind Them. A Few White Villas Lay Scattered On His Left,  And Beyond Them,  But Not To Be Seen From This Village Street,  Wound The River; Both Running Parallel With The Village Lying Between Them. Soon The Houses Ceased; It Was A Small Place At Best; And After An Open Space Came The Church. It Lay On His Right,  A Little Way Back From The Road,  And Surrounded By A Large Churchyard. Almost Opposite,  On The Other Side Of The Road,  But Much Further Back, Was A Handsome Modern White House; Its Delightful Gardens Sloping Almost To The River. This Was The Residence Of The Rector,  Dr. Ashton,  A Wealthy Man And A Church Dignitary,  Prebendary And Sub-Dean Of Garchester Cathedral. Percival Elster Looked At It Yearningly,  If Haply He Might See There The Face Of One He Loved Well; But The Blinds Were Drawn,  And The Inmates Were No Doubt Steeped In Repose.   "If She Only Knew I Was Here!" He Fondly Aspirated.   On Again A Few Steps,  And A Slight Turn In The Road Brought Him To A Small Red-Brick House On The Same Side As The Church,  With Green Shutters Attached To Its Lower Windows. It Lay In The Midst Of A Garden Well Stocked With Vegetables,  Fruit,  And The More Ordinary And Brighter Garden-Flowers. A Straight Path Led To The Well-Kept House-Door,  Its Paint Fresh And Green,  And Its Brass-Plate As Bright As Rubbing Could Make It. Mr. Elster Could Not Read The Inscription On The Plate From Where He Was,  But He Knew It By Heart: "Jabez Gum,  Parish Clerk." And There Was A Smaller Plate Indicating Other Offices Held By Jabez Gum.   "I Wonder If Jabez Is As Shadowy As Ever?" Thought Mr. Elster,  As He Walked On.   One More Feature,  And That Is The Last You Shall Hear Of Until Hartledon Is Reached. Close To The Clerk's Garden,  On A Piece Of Waste Land,  Stood A Small Wooden Building,  No Better Than A Shed.   It Had Once Been A Stable,  But So Long As Percival Elster Could Remember, It Was Nothing But A Receptacle For Schoolboys Playing At Hide-And-Seek. Many A Time Had He Hidden There. Something Different In This Shed Now Caught His Eye; The Former Doorway Had Been Boarded Up,  And A Long Iron Tube,  Like A Thin Chimney,  Ascended From Its Roof.   "Who On Earth Has Been Adding That To It?" Exclaimed Mr. Elster.   A Little Way Onward,  And He Came To The Lodge-Gates Of Hartledon. The House Was On The Same Side As The Rectory,  Its Park Stretching Eastward, Its Grounds,  Far More Beautiful And Extensive Than Those Of The Rectory, Descending To The River. As He Went In At The Smaller Side-Gate,  He Turned His Gaze On The Familiar Road He Had Quitted,  And Most Distinctly Saw A Wreath Of Smoke Ascending From The Pipe Above The Shed. Could It Be A Chimney,  After All?   The Woman Of The Lodge,  Hearing Footsteps,  Came To Her Door With Hasty Words.   "Now Then! What Makes You So Late This Morning? Didn't I--" And There She Stopped In Horror; Transfixed; For She Was Face To Face With Mr. Elster.   "Law,  Sir! _You!_ Mercy Be Good To Us!"   He Laughed. In Her Consternation She Could Only Suppose He Had Dropped From The Clouds. Giving Her A Pleasant Greeting,  He Drew Her Attention To The Appearance That Was Puzzling Him. The Woman Came Out And Looked At It.   "_Is_ It A Chimney,  Mrs. Capper?"   "Well,  Yes,  Sir,  It Be. Pike Have Put It In. He Come Here,  Nobody Knew How Or When,  He Put Himself Into The Old Shed,  And Has Never Left It Again."   "Who Is 'Pike'?"   "It's Hard To Say,  Sir; A Many Would Give A Deal To Know. He Lay In The Shed A Bit At First,  As It Were,  All Open. Then He Boarded Up That Front Doorway,  Opened A Door At The Back,  Cut Out A Square Hole For A Window, And Stuck That Chimney In The Roof. And There He's Lived Ever Since,  And Nobody Interferes With Him. His Name's Pike,  And That's All That's Known. I Should Think My Lord Will See To It When He Comes."   "Does He Work For His Living?"   "Never Does A Stroke O' Work For Nobody,  Sir. And How He Lives Is Just One O' Them Mysteries That Can't Be Dived Into. He's A Poacher,  A Snarer, And A Robber Of The Fishponds--Any One Of 'Em When He Gets The Chance; Leastways It's Said So; And He Looks Just Like A Wild Man O' The Woods; Wilder Than Any Robison Crusoe! And He--But You Might Not Like Me To Mention That,  Sir."   "Mention Anything," Replied Mr. Elster. "Go On."   "Well,  Sir,  It's Said By Some That His Was The Shot That Killed Mr. George," She Returned,  Dropping Her Voice; And Percival Elster Started.   "Who Is He?" He Exclaimed.   "He Is Not Known To A Soul. He Came Here A Stranger."   "But--He Was Not Here When I Left Home. And I Left It,  You May Remember, Only A Few Days Before That Night."   "He Must Have Come Here At That Very Time,  Sir; Just As You Left."   "But What Grounds Were There For Supposing That He--That He--I Think You Must Be Mistaken,  Mrs. Capper. Lord Hartledon,  I Am Sure,  Knows Nothing Of This Suspicion."   "I Never Heard Nothing About Grounds,  Sir," Simply Replied The Woman. "I Suppose Folks Fastened It On Him Because He's A Loose Character: And His Face Is All Covered With Hair,  Like A Howl."   He Almost Laughed Again As He Turned Away,  Dismissing The Suspicion She Had Hinted At As Unworthy A Moment's Credit. The Broad Gravel-Walk Through This Portion Of The Park Was Very Short,  And The Large Grey-Stone House Was Soon Reached. Not To The Stately Front Entrance Did He Bend His Steps,  But To A Small Side Entrance,  Which He Found Open. Pursuing His Way Down Sundry Passages,  He Came To What Used To Be Called The "West Kitchen;" And There Sat Three Women At Breakfast.   "Well,  Mirrable! I Thought I Should Find You Up."   The Two Servants Seated Opposite Stared With Open Mouths; Neither Knew Him: The One He Had Addressed As Mirrable Turned At The Salutation, Screamed,  And Dropped The Teapot. She Was A Thin,  Active Woman,  Of Forty Years,  With Dark Eyes,  A Bunch Of Black Drooping Ringlets Between Her Cap And Her Thin Cheeks,  A Ready Tongue And A Pleasant Manner. Mirrable Had Been Upper Maid At Hartledon For Years And Years,  And Was Privileged.   "Mr. Percival! Is It Your Ghost,  Sir?"   "I Think It's Myself,  Mirrable."   "My Goodness! But,  Sir,  How Did You Get Here?"   "You May Well Ask. I Ought To Have Been Here Last Night,  But Got Out At Some Obscure Junction To Obtain A Light For My Cigar,  And The Train Went On Without Me. I Sat On A Bench For A Few Hours,  And Came On By The Goods Train This Morning."   Mirrable Awoke From Her Astonishment,  Sent The Two Girls Flying,  One Here,  One There,  To Prepare Rooms For Mr. Elster,  And Busied Herself Arranging The Best Breakfast She Could Extemporise. Val Elster Sat On A Table Whilst He Talked To Her. In The Old Days,  He And His Brothers, Little Fellows,  Had Used To Carry Their Troubles To Mirrable; And He Was Just As Much At Home With Her Now As He Would Have Been With His Mother.   "Did Capper See You As You Came By,  Sir? Wouldn't She Be Struck!"   "Nearly Into Stone," He Laughed.   Mirrable Disappeared For A Minute Or Two,  And Came Back With A Silver Coffee-Pot In Her Hand. The Name Of The Lodge-Keeper Had Brought To His Remembrance The Unpleasant Hint She Mentioned,  And He Spoke Of It Impulsively--As He Did Most Things.   "Mirrable,  What Man Is It They Call Pike,  Who Has Taken Possession Of That Old Shed?"   "I'm Sure I Don't Know,  Sir," Answered Mirrable,  After A Pause,  Which Mr. Elster Thought Was Involuntary; For She Was Busy At The Moment Rubbing The Coffee-Pot With Some Wash-Leather,  Her Head And Face Bent Over It,  As She Stood With Her Back To Him. He Slipped Off The Table,  And Went Up To Her.   "I Saw Smoke Rising From The Shed,  And Asked Capper What It Meant,  And She Told Me About This Man Pike. Pike! It's A Curious Name."   Mirrable Rubbed Away,  Never Answering.   "Capper Said He Had Been Suspected Of Firing The Shot That Killed My Brother," He Continued,  In Low Tones. "Did _You_ Ever Hear Of Such A Hint,  Mirrable?"   Mirrable Darted Off To The Fireplace,  And Began Stirring The Milk Lest It Should Boil Over. Her Face Was Almost Buried In The Saucepan,  Or Mr. Elster Might Have Seen The Sudden Change That Came Over It; The Thin Cheeks That Had Flushed Crimson,  And Now Were Deadly White. Lifting The Saucepan On To The Hob,  She Turned To Mr. Elster.   "Don't You Believe Any Such Nonsense,  Sir," She Said,  In Tones Of Strange Emphasis. "It Was No More Pike Than It Was Me. The Man Keeps Himself To Himself,  And Troubles Nobody; And For That Very Reason Idle Folk Carp At Him,  Like The Mischief-Making Idiots They Are!"   "I Thought There Was Nothing In It," Remarked Mr. Elster.   "I'm _Sure_ There Isn't," Said Mirrable,  Conclusively. "Would You Like Some Broiled Ham,  Sir?"   "I Should Like Anything Good And Substantial,  For I'm As Hungry As A Hunter. But,  Mirrable,  You Don't Ask What Has Brought Me Here So Suddenly."   The Tone Was Significant,  And Mirrable Looked At Him. There Was A Spice Of Mischief In His Laughing Blue Eyes.   "I Come On A Mission To You; An Avant-Courier From His Lordship,  To Charge You To Have All Things In Readiness. To-Morrow You Will Receive A Houseful Of Company; More Than Hartledon Will Hold."   Mirrable Looked Aghast. "It Is One Of Your Jokes,  Mr. Val!"   "Indeed,  It Is The Truth. My Brother Will Be Down With A Trainful; And Desires That Everything Shall Be Ready For Their Reception."   "My Patience!" Gasped Mirrable. "And The Servants,  Sir?"   "Most Of Them Will Be Here To-Night. The Countess-Dowager Of Kirton Is Coming As Hartledon's Mistress For The Time Being."   "Oh!" Said Mirrable,  Who Had Once Had The Honour Of Seeing The Countess-Dowager Of Kirton. And The Monosyllable Was So Significant That Val Elster Drew Down The Corners Of His Mouth.   "I Don't Like The Countess-Dowager,  Sir," Remarked Mirrable In Her Freedom.   "I Can't Bear Her," Returned Val Elster.   Chapter 2 (Willy Gum) Had Percival Elster Lingered Ever So Short A Time Near The Clerk's House That Morning He Would Have Met That Functionary Himself; For In Less Than A Minute After He Had Passed Out Of Sight Jabez Gum's Door Opened,  And Jabez Gum Glided Out Of It.   It Is A Term Chiefly Applied To Ghosts; But Mr. Gum Was A Great Deal More Like A Ghost Than Like A Man. He Was Remarkably Tall And Thin; A Very Shadow; With A White Shadow Of A Face,  And A Nose That Might Have Served As A Model For A Mask In A Carnival Of Guys. A Sharp Nose,  Twice The Length And Half The Breadth Of Any Ordinary Nose--A Very Ferret Of A Nose; Its Sharp Tip Standing Straight Out Into The Air. People Said,  With Such A Nose Mr. Gum Ought To Have A Great Deal Of Curiosity. And They Were Right; He _Had_ A Great Deal In A Quiet Way.   A Most Respectable Man Was Mr. Gum,  And He Prided Himself Upon It. Mr. Gum--More Often Called Clerk Gum In The Village--Had Never Done A Wrong Thing In His Life,  Or Fallen Into A Scrape. He Had Been Altogether A Pattern To Calne In General,  And To Its Black Sheep In Particular. Dr. Ashton Himself Could Not Have Had Less Brought Against Him Than Clerk Gum; And It Would Just Have Broken Mr. Gum's Heart Had His Good Name Been Tarnished In Ever So Slight A Degree. Perhaps No Man Living Had Been Born With A Larger Share Of Self-Esteem Than Jabez Gum. Clerk Of The Parish Longer Than Dr. Ashton Had Been Its Rector,  Jabez Gum Had Lived At His Ease In A Pecuniary Point Of View. It Was One Of Those Parishes (I Think Few Of Them Remain Now) Where The Clerk's Emoluments Are Large. He Also Held Other Offices; Was An Agent For One Or Two Companies,  And Was Looked Upon As An Exceedingly Substantial Man For His Station In Life. Perhaps He Was Less So Than People Imagined. The Old Saying Is All Too True: "Nobody Knows Where The Shoe Pinches But He Who Wears It."   Jabez Gum Had His Thorn,  As A Great Many More Of Us Have Ours,  If The Outside World Only Knew It. And Jabez,  At Odd Moments,  When The Thorn Pierced Him Very Sharply,  Had Been Wont To Compare His Condition To St. Paul's,  And To Wonder Whether The Pricks Inflicted On That Holy Man Could Have Bled As His Own Did. He Meant No Irreverence When He Thought This; Neither Do I In Writing It. We Are Generally Wounded In The Most Vulnerable Spot About Us,  And Jabez Gum Made No Exception To The Rule. He Had Been Assailed In His Cherished Respectability,  His Self-Esteem. Assailed And _Scarred_. How Broad And Deep The Scar Was Jabez Never Told The World,  Which As A Rule Does Not Sympathise With Such Scars,  But Turns Aside In Its Cruel Indifference. The World Had Almost Forgotten The Scar Now,  And Supposed Clerk Gum Had Done The Same. It Was All Over And Done With Years Ago.   Jabez Gum's Wife--To Whom You Will Shortly Have The Honour Of An Introduction,  But She Is In Her Bedroom Just Now--Had Borne Him One Child,  And Only One. How This Boy Was Loved,  How Tenderly Reared,  Let Calne Tell You. Mrs. Gum Had To Endure No Inconsiderable Amount Of Ridicule At The Time From Her Gossiping Friends,  Who Gave Willy Sundry Endearing Names,  Applied In Derision. Certainly,  If Any Mother Ever Was Bound Up In A Child,  Mrs. Gum Was In Hers. The Boy Was Well Brought Up. A Good Education Was Given Him; And At The Age Of Sixteen He Went To London And To Fortune. The One Was Looked Upon As A Natural Sequence To The Other. Some Friend Of Jabez Gum's Had Interested Himself To Procure The Lad's Admission Into One Of The Great Banks As A Junior Clerk. He Might Rise In Time To Be Cashier,  Manager,  Even Partner; Who Knew? Who Knew Indeed? And Clerk Gum Congratulated Himself,  And Was More Respectable Than Ever.   Better That Willy Gum Had Remained At Calne! And Yet,  And Again--Who Knew? When The Propensity For Ill-Doing Exists It Is Sure To Come Out,  No Matter Where. There Were Some People In Calne Who Could Have Told Clerk Gum,  Even Then,  That Willy,  For His Age,  Was Tolerably Fast And Forward. Mrs. Gum Had Heard Of One Or Two Things That Had Caused Her Hair To Rise On End With Horror; Ay,  And With Apprehension; But,  Foolish Mother That She Was,  Not A Syllable Did She Breathe To The Clerk; And No One Else Ventured To Tell Him.   She Talked To Willy With Many Sighs And Tears; Implored Him To Be A Good Boy And Enter On Good Courses,  Not On Bad Ones That Would Break Her Heart. Willy,  The Little Scapegrace,  Was Willing To Promise Anything. He Laughed And Made Light Of It; It Wasn't His Fault If Folks Told Stories About Him; She Couldn't Be So Foolish As To Give Ear To Them. London? Oh, He Should Be All Right In London! One Or Two Fellows Here Were Rather Fast,  There Was No Denying It; And They Drew Him With Them; They Were Older Than He,  And Ought To Have Known Better. Once Away From Calne,  They Could Have No More Influence Over Him,  And He Should Be All Right.   She Believed Him; Putting Faith In The Plausible Words. Oh,  What Trust Can Be So Pure,  And At The Same Time So Foolish,  As That Placed By A Mother In A Beloved Son! Mrs. Gum Had Never Known But One Idol On Earth; He Who Now Stood Before Her,  Lightly Laughing At Her Fears,  Making His Own Tale Good. She Leaned Forward And Laid Her Hands Upon His Shoulders And Kissed Him With That Impassioned Fervour That Some Mothers Could Tell Of,  And Whispered That She Would Trust Him Wholly.   Mr. Willy Extricated Himself With As Little Impatience As He Could Help: These Embraces Were Not To His Taste. And Yet The Boy Did Love His Mother. She Was Not At All A Wise Woman,  Or A Clever One; Rather Silly, Indeed,  In Many Things; But She Was Fond Of Him. At This Period He Was Young-Looking For His Age,  Slight,  And Rather Undersized,  With An Exceedingly Light Complexion,  A Wishy-Washy Sort Of Face With No Colour In It,  Unmeaning Light Eyes,  White Eyebrows,  And Ragged-Looking Light Hair With A Tawny Shade Upon It.   Willy Gum Departed For London,  And Entered On His Engagement In The Great Banking-House Of Goldsworthy And Co.   How He Went On In It Calne Could Not Get To Learn,  Though It Was Moderately Inquisitive Upon The Point. His Father And Mother Heard From Him Occasionally; And Once The Clerk Took A Sudden And Rather Mysterious Journey To London,  Where He Stayed For A Whole Week. Rumour Said--I Wonder Where Such Rumours First Have Their Rise--That Willy Gum Had Fallen Into Some Trouble,  And The Clerk Had Had To Buy Him Out Of It At The Cost Of A Mint Of Money. The Clerk,  However,  Did Not Confirm This; And One Thing Was Indisputable: Willy Retained His Place In The Banking-House. Some People Looked On This Fact As A Complete Refutation Of The Rumour.   Then Came A Lull. Nothing Was Heard Of Willy; That Is,  Nothing Beyond The Reports Of Mrs. Gum To Her Gossips When Letters Arrived: He Was Well,  And Getting On Well. It Was Only The Lull That Precedes A Storm; And A Storm Indeed Burst On Quiet Calne. Willy Gum Had Robbed The Bank And Disappeared.   In The First Dreadful Moment,  Perhaps The Only One Who Did _Not_ Disbelieve It Was Clerk Gum. Other People Said There Must Be Some Mistake: It Could Not Be. Kind Old Lord Hartledon Came Down In His Carriage To The Clerk's House--He Was Too Ill To Walk--And Sat With The Clerk And The Weeping Mother,  And Said He Was Sure It Could Not Be So Bad As Was Reported. The Next Morning Saw Handbills--Great,  Staring, Large-Typed Handbills--Offering A Reward For The Discovery Of William Gum,  Posted All Over Calne.   Once More Clerk Gum Went To London. What He Did There No One Knew. One Thing Only Was Certain--He Did Not Find Willy Or Any Trace Of Him. The Defalcation Was Very Nearly Eight Hundred Pounds; And Even If Mr. Gum Could Have Refunded That Large Sum,  He Might Not Do So,  Said Calne,  For Of Course The Bank Would Not Compound A Felony. He Came Back Looking Ten Years Older; His Tall,  Thin Form More Shadowy,  His Nose Longer And Sharper. Not A Soul Ventured To Say A Syllable To Him,  Even Of Condolence. He Told Lord Hartledon And His Rector That No Tidings Whatever Could Be Gleaned Of His Unhappy Son; The Boy Had Disappeared, And Might Be Dead For All They Knew To The Contrary.   So The Handbills Wore Themselves Out On The Walls,  Serving No Purpose, Until Lord Hartledon Ordered Them To Be Removed; And Mrs. Gum Lived In Tears,  And Audibly Wished Herself Dead. She Had Not Seen Her Boy Since He Quitted Calne,  Considerably More Than Two Years Before,  And He Was Now Nearly Nineteen. A Few Days' Holiday Had Been Accorded Him By The Banking-House Each Christmas; But The First Christmas Willy Wrote Word That He Had Accepted An Invitation To Go Home With A Brother-Clerk; The Second Christmas He Said He Could Not Obtain Leave Of Absence--Which Mrs. Gum Afterwards Found Was Untrue; So That Willy Gum Had Not Been At Calne Since He Left It. And Whenever His Mother Thought Of Him--And That Was Every Hour Of The Day And Night--It Was Always As The Fair,  Young, Light-Haired Boy,  Who Seemed To Her Little More Than A Child.   A Year Or So Of Uncertainty,  Of Suspense,  Of Wailing,  And Then Came A Letter From Willy,  Cautiously Sent. It Was Not Addressed Directly To Mrs. Gum,  To Whom It Was Written,  But To One Of Willy's Acquaintances In London,  Who Enclosed It In An Envelope And Forwarded It On.   Such A Letter! To Read It One Might Have Thought Mr. William Gum Had Gone Out Under The Most Favourable Auspices. He Was In Australia; Had Gone Up To Seek His Fortune At The Gold-Diggings,  And Was Making Money Rapidly. In A Short Time He Should Refund With Interest The Little Sum He Had Borrowed From Goldsworthy And Co.,  And Which Was Really Not Taken With Any Ill Intention,  But Was More An Accident Than Anything Else. After That,  He Should Accumulate Money On His Own Score,  And--All Things Being Made Straight At Home--Return And Settle Down,  A Rich Man For Life. And She--His Mother--Might Rely On His Keeping His Word. At Present He Was At Melbourne; To Which Place He And His Mates Had Come To Bring Their Acquired Gold,  And To Take A Bit Of A Spree After Their Recent Hard Work. He Was Very Jolly,  And After A Week's Holiday They Should Go Back Again. And He Hoped His Father Had Overlooked The Past; And He Remained Ever Her Affectionate Son,  William Gum.   The Effect Of This Letter Upon Mrs. Gum Was As Though A Dense Cloud Had Suddenly Lifted From The World,  And Given Place To A Flood Of Sunshine. We Estimate Things By Comparison. Mrs. Gum Was By Nature Disposed To Look On The Dark Side Of Things,  And She Had For The Whole Year Past Been Indulging The Most Dread Pictures Of Willy And His Fate That Any Woman's Mind Ever Conceived. To Hear That He Was In Life,  And Well,  And Making Money Rapidly,  Was The Sweetest News,  The Greatest Relief She Could Ever Experience In This World.   Clerk Gum--Relieved Also,  No Doubt--Receiv Xii.,  And She Owed To The Same Kind Helpers Also The Accuracy Of Her Nautical Phrases And Her Irish Dialect. Certainly This Second Part Of The Tale Is Full Of Interest,  But I Cannot Help Wishing That The Materials Had Been Made Into Two Books Instead Of One. There Are More Than Enough Characters And Incidents To Have Developed Into A Couple Of Tales.   Julie Had Often Said How Strange It Seemed To Her,  When People Who Had A Ready Pen For _Writing_ Consulted Her As To What They Should _Write About_! She Suffered So Much From Over-Abundance Of Ideas Which She Had Not The Physical Strength To Put On Paper.   Even When She Was Very Ill,  And Unable To Use Her Hands At All,  The Sight Of A Lot Of Good German Wood-Cuts,  Which Were Sent To Me At Bath,  Suggested So Many Fresh Ideas To Her Brain,  That She Only Longed To Be Able To Seize Her Pen And Write Tales To The Pictures.   Before We Turn Finally Away From The Subject Of Her Liking For Irish People,  I Must Mention A Little Adventure Which Happened To Her At Fulford.   There Is One Parish In York Where A Great Number Of Irish Peasants Live,  And Many Of The Women Used To Pass Julie's Windows Daily,  Going Out To Work In The Fields At Fulford. She Liked To Watch Them Trudging By,  With Large Baskets Perched Picturesquely On The Tops Of Their Heads,  But In The Town The "Irishers" Are Not Viewed With Equal Favour By The Inhabitants. One Afternoon Julie Was Out Sketching In A Field, And Came Across One Of These Poor Irish Women. My Sister's Mind At The Time Was Full Of Biddy Macartney,  And She Could Not Resist The Opportunity Of Having A Chat With This Suggestive "Study" For The Character. She Found An Excuse For Addressing The Old Woman About Some Cattle Which Seemed Restless In The Field,  But Quickly Discovered,  To Her Amusement,  That When She Alluded To Ireland,  Her Companion,  In The Broadest Brogue,  Stoutly Denied Having Any Connection With The Country. No Doubt She Thought Julie's Prejudices Would Be Similar To Those Of Her Town Neighbours,  But In A Short Time Some Allusion Was Inadvertently Made To "Me Father's Farm In Kerry," And The Truth Leaked Out. After This They Became More Confidential; And When Julie Admired Some Quaint Silver Rings On Her Companion's Finger,  The Old Woman Was Most Anxious To Give Her One,  And Was Only Restrained By Coming To The Decision That She Would Give Her A Recipe For "Real Irish Whisky" Instead. She Began With "You Must Take Some Barley And Put It In A Poke--" But After This Julie Heard No More,  For She Was Distracted By The Cattle,  Who Had Advanced Unpleasantly Near; The Irish Woman,  However,  Continued Her Instructions To The End,  Waving Her Arms To Keep The Beasts Off,  Which She So Far Succeeded In Doing, That Julie Caught The Last Sentence--   "And Then Ye Must Bury It In A Bog."   "Is That To Give It A Peaty Flavour?" Asked My Sister,  Innocently.   "Oh,  No,  Me Dear!--_It's Because Of The Excise-Man_."   When They Parted,  The Old Woman's Original Reserve Entirely Gave Way, And She Cried: "Good Luck To Ye! _And Go To Ireland!_"   Julie Remained In England For Some Months After Major Ewing Started For Malta,  And As He Was Despatched On Very Short Notice,  And She Had To Pack Up Their Goods; Also--As She Was Not Strong--It Was Decided That She Should Avoid Going Out For The Hot Summer Weather,  And Wait For The Healthier Autumn Season. Her Time,  Therefore,  Was Now Chiefly Spent Amongst Civilian Friends And Relations,  And I Want This Fact To Be Specially Noticed,  In Connection With The Next Contributions That She Wrote For The Magazine.   In February 1879,  The Terrible News Had Come Of The Isandlwana Massacre,  And This Was Followed In June By That Of The Prince Imperial's Death. My Sister Was,  Of Course,  Deeply Engrossed In The War Tidings,  As Many Of Her Friends Went Out To South Africa--Some To Return No More. In July She Contributed "A Soldier's Children" To _Aunt Judy_,  And Of All Her Child Verses This Must Be Reckoned The Best,  Every Line From First To Last Breathing How Strong Herrected The Rest To The Crime,  And Killed The Captain With His Own Hand. Obtaining Command Of The Ship,  They Put Her About,  And Commenced A Piratical Raid. One Vessel They Succeeded In Disarming,  Despoiling,  And Then Leaving Her To Her Fate. But The Next Vessel They Attacked Proved A More Formidable Enemy,  And There Was A Hand-To-Hand Struggle For The Mastery,  And For Life Or Death. The _Morning Star_ Was Sunk,  With The Greater Portion Of Her Living Freight. A Few,  Only Some Four Or Five,  Were Saved By The Other Ship,  And Conveyed To England.   It Was By Them The Dark Tale Was Brought. The Second Officer Of The _Morning Star_ Was One Of Them; He Had Been Compelled To Dissemble And To Appear To Serve The Mutinous Band; The Others Were Innocent Passengers, Whose Lives Had Not Been Taken. All Agreed In One Thing: That Gordon,  The Ringleader,  Had In All Probability Escaped. He Had Put Off From The _Morning Star_,  When She Was Sinking,  In One Of Her Best Boats; He And Some Of His Lawless Helpmates,  With A Bag Of Biscuit,  A Cask Of Water, And A Few Bottles That Probably Contained Rum. Whether They Succeeded In Reaching A Port Or In Getting Picked Up,  Was A Question; But It Was Assumed They Had Done So.   The Owners Of The _Morning Star_,  Half Paralyzed At The News Of So Daring And Unusual An Outrage,  Offered The Large Reward Of Five Hundred Pounds For The Capture Of George Gordon; And Government Increased The Offer By Two Hundred,  Making It Seven In All.   Overwhelming Tidings For Clerk Gum And His Wife! A Brief Season Of Agonized Suspense Ensued For The Poor Mother; Of Hopes And Fears As To Whether Willy Was Amongst The Remnant Saved; And Then Hope Died Away,  For He Did Not Come.   Once More,  For The Last Time,  Clerk Gum Took A Journey,  Not To London, But To Liverpool. He Succeeded In Seeing The Officer Who Had Been Saved; But He Could Give Him No Information. He Knew The Names Of The First-Class Passengers,  But Only A Few Of The Second-Class; And In That Class Willy Had Most Likely Sailed.   The Clerk Described His Son; And The Officer Thought He Remembered Him: He Had A Good Deal Of Gold On Board,  He Said. One Of The Passengers Spoke More Positively. Yes,  By Clerk Gum's Description,  He Was Sure Willy Gum Had Been His Fellow-Passenger In The Second Cabin,  Though He Did Not Recollect Whether He Had Heard His Name. It Seemed,  Looking Back,  That The Passengers Had Hardly Had Time To Become Acquainted With Each Other's Names,  He Added. He Was Sure It Was The Young Man; Of Very Light Complexion,  Ready And Rather Loose (If Mr. Gum Would Excuse His Saying So) In Speech. He Had Made Thoroughly Good Hauls Of Gold At The Last,  And Was Going Home To Spend It. He Was The Second Killed,  Poor Fellow; Had Risen Up With A Volley Of Oaths (Excuses Begged Again) To Defend The Captain,  And Was Struck Down And Killed.   Poor Jabez Gum Gasped. _Killed?_ Was The Gentleman _Sure_? Quite Sure; And,  Moreover,  He Saw His Body Thrown Overboard With The Rest Of The Dead. And The Money--The Gold? Jabez Asked,  When He Had Somewhat Recovered Himself. The Passenger Laughed--Not At The Poor Father,  But At The Worse Than Useless Question; Gold And Everything Else On Board The _Morning Star_ Had Gone Down With Her To The Bottom Of The Sea.   A Species Of Savage Impulse Rose In The Clerk's Mind,  Replacing His First Emotion Of Grief; An Impulse That Might Almost Have Led Him To Murder The Villain Gordon,  Could He Have Come Across Him. Was There A Chance That The Man Would Be Taken? He Asked. Every Chance,  If He Dared Show His Face In England,  The Passenger Answered. A Reward Of Seven Hundred Pounds Was An Inducement To The Survivors To Keep Their Eyes Open; And They'd Do It, Besides,  Without Any Reward. Moreover--If Gordon Had Escaped,  His Comrades In The Boat Had Escaped With Him. They Were Lawless Men Like Himself,  Every One Of Them,  And They Would Be Sure To Betray Him When They Found What A Price Was Set Upon His Capture.   Clerk Gum Returned Home,  Bearing To His Wife And Calne The Final Tidings Which Crushed Out All Hope. Mrs. Gum Sank Into A State Of Wild Despair. At First It Almost Seemed To Threaten Loss Of Reason. Her Son Had Been Her Sole Idol,  And The Idol Was Shattered. But To Witness Unreasonably Violent Grief In Others Always Has A Counteracting Effect On Our Own, And Mr. Gum Soothed His Sorrow And Brought Philosophy To His Aid.   "Look You," Said He,  One Day,  Sharply To His Wife,  When She Was Crying And Moaning,  "There's Two Sides To Every Calamity,--A Bright And A Dark 'Un;" For Mr. Gum Was Not In The Habit Of Treating His Wife,  In The Privacy Of Their Domestic Circle,  To The Quality-Speech Kept For The World. "He Is Gone,  And We Can't Help It; We'd Have Welcomed Him Home If We Could,  And Killed The Fatted Calf,  But It Was God's Will That It Shouldn't Be. There May Be A Blessing In It,  After All. Who Knows But He Might Have Broke Out Again,  And Brought Upon Us What He Did Before,  Or Worse? For My Part,  I Should Never Have Been Without The Fear; Night And Morning It Would Always Have Stood Before Me; Not To Be Driven Away. As It Is,  I Am At Rest."   She--The Wife--Took Her Apron From Her Eyes And Looked At Him With A Sort Of Amazed Anger.   "Gum! Do You Forget That He Had Left Off His Evil Ways,  And Was Coming Home To Be A Comfort To Us?"   "No,  I Don't Forget It," Returned Mr. Gum. "But Who Was To Say That The Mood Would Last? He Might Have Got Through His Gold,  However Much It Was, And Then--. As It Is,  Nance Gum,  We Can Sleep Quiet In Our Beds,  Free From _That_ Fear."   Clerk Gum Was Not,  On The Whole,  A Model Of Suavity In The Domestic Fold. The First Blow That Had Fallen Upon Him Seemed To Have Affected His Temper; And His Helpmate Knew From Experience That Whenever He Called Her "Nance" His Mood Was At Its Worst.   Suppressing A Sob,  She Spoke Reproachfully.   "It's My Firm Belief,  Gum,  And Has Been All Along,  That You Cared More For Your Good Name Among Men Than You Did For The Boy."   "Perhaps I Did," He Answered,  By Way Of Retort. "At Any Rate,  It Might Have Been Better For Him In The Long-Run If We--Both You And Me--Hadn't Cared For Him Quite So Foolishly In His Childhood; We Spared The Rod And We Spoiled The Child. That's Over,  And--"   "It's _All_ Over," Interrupted Mrs. Gum; "Over For Ever In This World. Gum,  You Are Very Hard-Hearted."   "And," He Continued,  With Composure,  "We May Hope Now To Live Down In Time The Blow He Brought Upon Us,  And Hold Up Our Heads Again In The Face Of Calne. We Couldn't Have Done That While He Lived."   "We Couldn't?"   "No. Just Dry Up Your Useless Tears,  Nancy; And Try To Think That All's For The Best."   But,  Metaphorically Speaking,  Mrs. Gum Could Not Dry Her Tears. Nearly Two Years Had Elapsed Since The Fatal Event; And Though She No Longer Openly Lamented,  Filling Calne With Her Cries And Her Faint But Heartfelt Prayers For Vengeance On The Head Of The Cruel Monster,  George Gordon,  As She Used To Do At First,  She Had Sunk Into A Despairing State Of Mind That Was By No Means Desirable: A Startled,  Timid,  Superstitious Woman, Frightened At Every Shadow.   Chapter 3 (Anne Ashton) Jabez Gum Came Out Of His House In The Bright Summer Morning,  Missing Mr. Elster By One Minute Only. He Went Round To A Small Shed At The Back Of The House And Brought Forth Sundry Garden-Tools. The Whole Garden Was Kept In Order By Himself,  And No One Had Finer Fruit And Vegetables Than Clerk Gum. Hartledon Might Have Been Proud Of Them,  And Dr. Ashton Sometimes Accepted A Dish With Pleasure.   In His Present Attire: Dark Trousers,  And A Short Close Jacket Buttoned Up Round Him And Generally Worn When Gardening,  The Worthy Man Might Decidedly Have Been Taken For An Animated Lamp-Post By Any Stranger Who Happened To Come That Way. He Was Applying Himself This Morning,  First To The Nailing Of Sundry Choice Fruit-Trees Against The Wall That Ran Down One Side Of His Garden--A Wall That Had Been Built By The Clerk Himself In Happier Days; And Next,  To Plucking Some Green Walnuts For His Wife To Pickle. As He Stood On Tip-Toe,  His Long Thin Body And Long Thin Arms Stretched Up To The Walnut-Tree,  He Might Have Made The Fortune Of Any Travelling Caravan That Could Have Hired Him. The Few People Who Passed Him Greeted Him With A "Good Morning," But He Rarely Turned His Head In Answering Them. Clerk Gum Had Grown Somewhat Taciturn Of Late Years.   The Time Went On. The Clock Struck A Quarter-Past Seven,  And Jabez Gum, As He Heard It,  Left The Walnut-Tree,  Walked To The Gate,  And Leaned Over It; His Face Turned In The Direction Of The Village. It Was Not The Wooden Gate Generally Attached To Smaller Houses In Rustic Localities, But A Very Pretty Iron One; Everything About The Clerk's House Being Of A Superior Order. Apparently,  He Was Looking Out For Some One In Displeasure; And,  Indeed,  He Had Not Stood There A Minute,  When A Girl Came Flying Down The Road,  And Pushed The Gate And The Clerk Back Together.   Mr. Gum Directed Her Attention To The Church Clock. "Do You See The Time, Rebecca Jones?"   Had The Pages Of The Church-Register Been Visible As Well As The Clock, Miss Rebecca Jones's Age Might Have Been Seen To Be Fifteen; But,  In Knowledge Of The World And In Impudence,  She Was Considerably Older.   "Just Gone Seven And A Quarter," Answered She,  Making A Feint Of Shading Her Eyes With Her Hands,  Though The Sun Was Behind Her.   "And What Business Have You To Come At Seven And A Quarter? Half-Past Six Is Your Time; And,  If You Can't Keep It,  Your Missis Shall Get Those That Can."   "Why Can't My Missis Let Me Stop At Night And Clear Up The Work?" Returned The Girl. "She Sends Me Away At Six O'clock,  As Soon As I've Washed The Tea-Things,  And Oftentimes Earlier Than That. It Stands To Reason I Can't Get Through The Work Of A Morning."   "You Could Do So Quite Well If You Came To Time," Said The Clerk,  Turning Away To His Walnut-Tree. "Why Don't You?"   "I Overslept Myself This Morning. Father Never Called Me Afore He Went Out. No Doubt He Had A Drop Too Much Last Night."   She Went Flying Up The Gravel-Path As She Spoke. Her Father Was The Man Jones Whom You Saw At The Railway Station; Her Step-Mother (For Her Own Mother Was Dead) Was Mrs. Gum's Cousin.   She Was A Sort Of Stray Sheep,  This Girl,  In The Eyes Of Calne,  Not Belonging Very Much To Any One; Her Father Habitually Neglected Her,  Her Step-Mother Had Twice Turned Her Out Of Doors. Some Three Or Four Months Ago,  When Mrs. Gum Was Changing Her Servant,  She Had Consented To Try This Girl. Jabez Gum Knew Nothing Of The Arrangement Until It Was Concluded,  And Disapproved Of It. Altogether,  It Did Not Work Satisfactorily: Miss Jones Was Careless,  Idle,  And Impudent; Her Step-Mother Was Dissatisfied Because She Was Not Taken Into The House; And Clerk Gum Threatened Every Day,  And His Wife Very Often,  To Dismiss Her.   It Was Only Within A Year Or Two That They Had Not Kept An Indoor Servant; And The Fact Of Their Not Doing So Now Puzzled The Gossips Of Calne. The Clerk's Emoluments Were The Same As Ever; There Was No Willy To Encroach On Them Now; And The Work Of The House Required A Good Servant. However,  It Pleased Mrs. Gum To Have One In Only By Day; And Who Was To Interfere With Her If The Clerk Did Not?   Jabez Gum Worked On For Some Little Time After Eight O'clock,  The Breakfast-Hour. He Rather Wondered He Was Not Called To It,  And Registered A Mental Vow To Discharge Miss Becky. Presently He Went Indoors,  Put His Head Into A Small Sitting-Room On The Left,  And Found The Room Empty,  But The Breakfast Laid. The Kitchen Was Behind It,  And Jabez Gum Stalked On Down The Passage,  And Went Into It. On The Other Side Of The Passage Was The Best Sitting-Room,  And A Very Small Room At The Back Of It,  Which Jabez Used As An Office,  And Where He Kept Sundry Account-Books.   "Where's Your Missis?" Asked He Of The Maid,  Who Was On Her Knees Toasting Bread.   "Not Down Yet," Was The Short Response.   "Not Down Yet!" Repeated Jabez In Surprise,  For Mrs. Gum Was Generally Down By Seven. "You've Got That Door Open Again,  Rebecca. How Many More Times Am I To Tell You I Won't Have It?"   "It's The Smoke," Said Rebecca. "This Chimbley Always Smokes When It's First Lighted."   "The Chimney Doesn't Smoke,  And You Know That You Are Telling A Falsehood. What Do You Want With It Open? You'll Have That Wild Man Darting In Upon You Some Morning. How Will You Like That?"   "I'm Not Afeard Of Him," Was The Answer,  As Rebecca Got Up From Her Knees. "He Couldn't Eat Me."   "But You Know How Timid Your Mistress Is," Returned The Clerk,  In A Voice Of Extreme Anger. "How Dare You,  Girl,  Be Insolent?"   He Shut The Door As He Spoke--One That Opened From The Kitchen To The Back Garden--And Bolted It. Washing His Hands,  And Drying Them With A Round Towel,  He Went Upstairs,  And Found Mrs. Gum--As He Had Now And Then Found Her Of Late--In A Fit Of Prostration. She Was A Little Woman,  With A Light Complexion,  And Insipid,  Unmeaning Face--Some Such A Face As Willy's Had Been--And Her Hair,  Worn In Neat Bands Under Her Cap,  Was The Colour Of Tow.   "I Couldn't Help It,  Gum," She Began,  As She Stood Before The Glass,  Her Trembling Fingers Trying To Fasten Her Black Alpaca Gown--For She Had Never Left Off Mourning For Their Son. "It's Past Eight,  I Know; But I've Had Such An Upset This Morning As Never Was,  And I _Couldn't_ Dress Myself. I've Had A Shocking Dream."   "Drat Your Dreams!" Cried Mr. Gum,  Very Much Wanting His Breakfast.   "Ah,  Gum,  Don't! Those Morning Dreams,  When They're Vivid As This Was, Are Not Sent For Ridicule. Pike Was In It; And You Know I Can't _Bear_ Him To Be In My Dreams. They Are Always Bad When He Is In Them."   "If You Wanted Your Breakfast As Much As I Want Mine,  You'd Let Pike Alone," Retorted The Clerk.   "I Thought He Was Mixed Up In Some Business With Lord Hartledon. I Don't Know What It Was,  But The Dream Was Full Of Horror. It Seemed That Lord Hartledon Was Dead Or Dying; Whether He'd Been Killed Or Not,  I Can't Say; But An Awful Dread Was Upon Me Of Seeing Him Dead. A Voice Called Out,  'Don't Let Him Come To Calne!' And In The Fright I Awoke. I Can't Remember What Part Pike Played In The Dream," She Continued,  "Only The Impression Remained That He Was In It."   "Perhaps He Killed Lord Hartledon?" Cried Gum,  Mockingly.   "No; Not In The Dream. Pike Did Not Seem To Be Mixed Up In It For Ill. The Ill Was All On Lord Hartledon; But It Was Not Pike Brought It Upon Him. Who It Was,  I Couldn't See; But It Was Not Pike."   Clerk Gum Looked Down At His Wife In Scornful Pity. He Wondered Sometimes,  In His Phlegmatic Reasoning,  Why Women Were Created Such Fools.   "Look Here,  Mrs. G. I Thought Those Dreams Of Yours Were Pretty Nearly Dreamed Out--There Have Been Enough Of 'Em. How Any Woman,  Short Of A Born Idiot,  Can Stand There And Confess Herself So Frightened By A Dream As To Be Unable To Get Up And Go About Her Duties,  Is Beyond Me."   "But,  Gum,  You Don't Let Me Finish. I Woke Up With The Horror,  I Tell You--"   "What Horror?" Interrupted The Clerk,  Angrily. "What Did It Consist Of? I Can't See The Horror."   "Nor Can I,  Very Clearly," Acknowledged Mrs. Gum; "But I Know It Was There. I Woke Up With The Very Words In My Ears,  'Don't Let Him Come To Calne!' And I Started Out Of Bed In Terror For Lord Hartledon,  Lest He _Should_ Come. We Are Only Half Awake,  You Know,  At These Moments. I Pulled The Curtain Aside And Looked Out. Gum,  If Ever I Thought To Drop In My Life,  I Thought It Then. There Was But One Person To Be Seen In The Road--And It Was Lord Hartledon."   "Oh!" Said Mr. Gum,  Cynically,  After A Moment Of Natural Surprise. "Come Out Of His Vault For A Morning Walk Past Your Window,  Mrs. G.!"   "Vault! I Mean Young Lord Hartledon,  Gum."   Mr. Gum Was A Little Taken Back. They Had Been So Much In The Habit Of Calling The New Lord Hartledon,  Lord Elster--Who Had Not Lived At Calne Since He Came Into The Title--That He Had Thought Of The Old Lord When His Wife Was Speaking.   "He Was Up There,  Just By The Turning Of The Road,  Going On To Hartledon. Gum,  I Nearly Dropped,  I Say. The Next Minute He Was Out Of Sight; Then I Rubbed My Eyes And Pinched My Arms To Make Sure I Was Awake."   "And Whether You Saw A Ghost,  Or Whether You Didn't," Came The Mocking Retort.   "It Was No Ghost,  Gum; It Was Lord Hartledon Himself."   "Nonsense! It Was Just As Much One As The Other. The Fact Is,  You Hadn't Quite Woke Up Out Of That Fine Dream Of Yours,  And You Saw Double. It Was Just As Much Young Hartledon As It Was Me."   "I Never Saw A Ghost Yet,  And I Don't Fear I Ever Shall,  Gum. I Tell You It Was Lord Hartledon. And If Harm Doesn't Befall Him At Calne,  As Shadowed Forth In My Dream,  Never Believe Me Again."   "There,  That's Enough," Peremptorily Cried The Clerk; Knowing,  If Once Mrs. Gum Took Up Any Idea With A Dream For Its Basis,  How Impossible It Was To Turn Her. "Is The Key Of That Kitchen Door Found Yet?"   "No: It Never Will Be,  Gum. I've Told You So Before. My Belief Is,  And Always Has Been,  That Rebecca Let It Drop By Accident Into The Waste Bucket."   "_My_ Belief Is,  That Rebecca Made Away With It For Her Own Purposes," Said The Clerk. "I Caught Her Just Now With The Door Wide Open. She's Trying To Make Acquaintance With The Man Pike; That's What She's At."   "Oh,  Gum!"   "Yes; It's All Very Well To Say 'Oh,  Gum!' But If You Were Below-Stairs Looking After Her,  Instead Of Dreaming Up Here,  It Might Be Better For Everyone. Let Me Once Be Certain About It,  And Off She Goes The Next Hour. A Fine Thing 'Twould Be Some Day For Us To Find Her Head Smothered In The Kitchen Purgatory,  And The Silver Spoons Gone; As Will Be The Case If Any Loose Characters Get In."   He Was Descending The Stairs As He Spoke The Last Sentence,  Delivered In Loud Tones,  Probably For The Benefit Of Miss Rebecca Jones. And Lest The Intelligent Protestant Reader Should Fear He Is Being Introduced To Unorthodox Regions,  It May Be As Well To Mention That The "Purgatory" In Mr. Jabez Gum's Kitchen Consisted Of An Excavation,  Two Feet Square, Under The Hearth,  Covered With A Grating Through Which The Ashes And The Small Cinders Fell; Thereby Enabling The Economical Housewife To Throw The Larger Ones On The Fire Again. Such Wells Or "Purgatories," As They Are Called,  Are Common Enough In The Old-Fashioned Kitchens Of Certain English Districts.   Mrs. Gum,  Ready Now,  Had Been About To Follow Her Husband; But His Suggestion--That The Girl Was Watching An Opportunity To Make Acquaintance With Their Undesirable Neighbour,  Pike--Struck Her Motionless.   It Seemed That She Could Never See This Man Without A Shiver,  Or Overcome The Fright Experienced When She First Met Him. It Was On A Dark Autumn Night. She Was Coming Through The Garden When She Discerned,  Or Thought She Discerned,  A Light In The Abandoned Shed. Thinking Of Fire,  She Hastily Crossed The Stile That Divided Their Garden From The Waste Land, And Ran To It. There She Was Confronted By What She Took To Be A Bear--But A Bear That Could Talk; For He Gruffly Asked Her Who She Was And What She Wanted. A Black-Haired,  Black-Browed Man,  With A Pipe Between His Teeth,  And One Sinewy Arm Bared To The Elbow.   How Mrs. Gum Tore Away And Tumbled Over The Stile In Her Terror,  And Got Home Again,  She Never Knew. She Supposed It To Be A Tramp,  Who Had Taken Shelter There For The Night; But Finding To Her Dismay That The Tramp Stayed On,  She Had Never Overcome Her Fright From That Hour To This.   Neither Did Her Husband Like The Proximity Of Such A Gentleman. They Caused Securer Bolts To Be Put On Their Doors--For Fastenings In Small Country Places Are Not Much Thought About,  People Around Being Proverbially Honest. They Also Had Their Shutters Altered. The Shutters To The Windows,  Back And Front,  Had Holes In Them In The Form Of A Heart,  Such As You May Have Sometimes Noticed. Before The Wild-Looking Man--Whose Name Came To Be Known As Pike--Had Been In Possession Of The Shed A Fortnight,  Jabez Gum Had The Holes In His Shutters Filled-In And Painted Over. An Additional Security,  Said The Neighbours: But Poor Timid Mrs. Gum Could Not Overcome That First Fright,  And The Very Mention Of The Man Set Her Trembling And Quaking.   Nothing More Was Said Of The Dream Or The Apparition,  Real Or Fancied,  Of Lord Hartledon: Clerk Gum Did Not Encourage The Familiar Handling Of Such Topics In Everyday Life. He Breakfasted,  Devoted An Hour To His Own Business In The Little Office,  And Then Put On His Coat To Go Out. It Was Friday Morning. On That Day And On Wednesdays The Church Was Open For Baptisms,  And It Was The Clerk's Custom To Go Over At Ten O'clock And Apprize The Rector Of Any Notices He Might Have Had.   Passing In At The Iron Gates,  The Large White House Rose Before Him, Beyond The Wide Lawn. It Had Been Built By Dr. Ashton At His Own Expense. The Old Rectory Was A Tumbledown,  Inconvenient Place,  Always In Dilapidation,  For As Soon As One Part Of It Was Repaired Another Fell Through; And The Rector Opened His Heart And His Purse,  Both Large And Generous,  And Built A New One. Mr. Gum Was Making His Way Unannounced To The Rector's Study,  According To Custom,  When A Door On The Opposite Side Of The Hall Opened,  And Dr. Ashton Came Out. He Was A Pleasant-Looking Man,  With Dark Hair And Eyes,  His Countenance One Of Keen Intellect; And Though Only Of Middle Height,  There Was Something Stately,  Grand,  Imposing In His Whole Appearance.   "Is That You,  Jabez?"   Connected With Each Other For So Many Years--A Connection Which Had Begun When Both Were Young--The Rector And Mrs. Ashton Had Never Called Him Anything But Jabez. With Other People He Was Gum,  Or Mr. Gum,  Or Clerk Gum: Jabez With Them. He,  Jabez,  Was The Older Man Of The Two By Six Or Seven Years,  For The Rector Was Not More Than Forty-Five. The Clerk Crossed The Hall,  Its Tessellated Flags Gleaming Under The Colours Thrown In By The Stained Windows,  And Entered The Drawing-Room,  A Noble Apartment Looking On To The Lawn In Front. Mrs. Ashton,  A Tall, Delicate-Looking Woman,  With A Gentle Face,  Was Standing Before A Painting Just Come Home And Hung Up; To Look At Which The Rector And His Wife Had Gone Into The Room.   It Was The Portrait Of A Sweet-Looking Girl With A Sunny Countenance. The Features Were Of The Delicate Contour Of Mrs. Ashton's; The Rich Brown Hair,  The Soft Brown Eyes,  And The Intellectual Expression Of The Face Resembled The Doctor's. Altogether,  Face And Portrait Were Positively Charming; One Of Those Faces You Must Love At First Sight,  Without Waiting To Question Whether Or Not They Are Beautiful.   "Is It A Good Likeness,  Jabez?" Asked The Rector,  Whilst Mrs. Ashton Made Room For Him With A Smile Of Greeting.   "As Like As Two Peas,  Sir," Responded Jabez,  When He Had Taken A Long Look. "What A Face It Is! Oftentimes It Comes Across My Mind When I Am Not Thinking Of Anything But Business; And I'm Always The Better For It."   "Why,  Jabez,  This Is The First Time You Have Seen It."   "Ah,  Ma'am,  You Know I Mean The Original. There's Two Baptisms To-Day, Sir," He Added,  Turning Away; "Two,  And One Churching. Mrs. Luttrell And Her Child,  And The Poor Little Baby Whose Mother Died."   "Mrs. Luttrell!" Repeated The Rector. "It's Soon For Her,  Is It Not?"   "They Want To Go Away To The Seaside," Replied The Clerk. "What About That Notice,  Sir?"   "I'll See To It Before Sunday,  Jabez. Any News?"   "No,  Sir; Not That I've Heard Of. My Wife Wanted To Persuade Me She Saw--"   At This Moment A White-Haired Old Serving-Man Entered The Room With A Note,  Claiming The Rector's Attention. "The Man's To Take Back The Answer,  Sir,  If You Please."   "Wait Then,  Simon."   Old Simon Stood Aside,  And The Clerk,  Turning To Mrs. Ashton,  Continued His Unfinished Sentence.   "She Wanted To Persuade Me She Saw Young Lord Hartledon Pass At Six O'clock This Morning. A Very Likely Tale That,  Ma'am."   "Perhaps She Dreamt It,  Jabez," Said Mrs. Ashton,  Quietly.   Jabez Chuckled; But What He Would Have Answered Was Interrupted By The Old Servant.   "It's Mr. Elster That's Come; Not Lord Hartledon."   "Mr. Elster! How Do You Know,  Siildren's Bird Of Wisdom." They Are In The Form Of Quaint Letters Of Advice,  And My Sister Adopted The _Spectator's_ Method Of Writing As An Eye-Witness In The First Person,  So Far As Was Possible In Addressing A Very Youthful Class Of Readers. She Had A Strong Admiration For Many Of Both Steele And Addison's Papers.          *       *       *       *       *   The List That I Promised To Give Of Julie's Published Stories Is Now Completed; And,  If Her Works Are To Be Valued By Their Length,  It May Justly Be Said That She Has Not Left A Vast Amount Of Matter Behind Her,  But I Think That Those Who Study Her Writings Carefully,  Will Feel That Some Of Their Greatest Worth Lies In The Wonderful Condensation And High Finish That They Display. No Reviewer Has Made A More Apt Comparison Than The American One In _Every Other Saturday_, Who Spoke Of "Jackanapes" As "An Exquisite Bit Of Finished Work--A Meissonier,  In Its Way."   To Other Readers The Chief Value Of The Books Will Be In The High Purpose Of Their Teaching,  And The Consciousness That Julie Held Her Talent As A Direct Gift From God,  And Never Used It Otherwise Than To His Glory. She Has Penned Nothing For Which She Need Fear Reproach From Her Favourite Old Proverb,  "A Wicked Book Is All The Wickeder Because It Can Never Repent." It Is Difficult For Those Who Admire Her Writings To Help Regretting That Her Life Was Cut Off Before She Had Accomplished More,  But To Still Such Regrets We Cannot Do Better Than Realize (As A Kind Friend Remarked) "How Much She Has Been Able To Do,  Rather Than What She Has Left Undone." The Work Which She Did,  In Spite Of Her Physical Fragility,  Far Exceeds What The Majority Of Us Perform With Stronger Bodies And Longer Lives. This Reflection Has Comforted Me,  Though I Perhaps Know More Than Others How Many Subjects She Had Intended To Write Stories Upon. Some People Have Spoken As If Her _Forte_ Lay In Writing About Soldiers Only,  But Her Success In This Line Was Really Due To Her Having Spent Much Time Among Them. I Am Sure Her Imagination And Sympathy Were So Strong, That Whatever Class Of Men She Was Mixed With,  She Could Not Help Throwing Herself Into Their Interests,  And Weaving Romances About Them. Whether Such Romances Ever Got On To Paper Was A Matter Dependent On Outward Circumstances And The State Of Her Health.   One Of The Unwritten Stories Which I Most Regret Is "Grim The Collier"; This Was To Have Been A Romance Of The Black Country Of Coal-Mines,  In Which She Was Born,  And The Title Was Chosen From The Description Of A Flower In A Copy Of Gerarde's _Herbal_,  Given To Her By Miss Sargant:--        _Hieracium Hortense Latifolium,  Sine Pilosella Maior_,  Golden      Mouseeare,  Or Grim The Colliar. The Floures Grow At The Top As It      Were In An Vmbel,  And Are Of The Bignesse Of The Ordinary      Mouseeare,  And Of An Orenge Colour. The Seeds Are Round,  And      Blackish,  And Are Carried Away With The Downe By The Wind. The      Stalks And Cups Of The Flours Are All Set Thicke With A Blackish      Downe,  Or Hairinesse,  As It Were The Dust Of Coles; Whence The      Women Who Keepe It In Gardens For Novelties Sake,  Have Named It      Grim The Colliar.   I Wish,  Too,  That Julie Could Have Written About Sailors,  As Well As Soldiers,  In The Tale Of "Little Mothers' Meetings," Which Had Been Suggested To Her Mind By Visits To Liverpool. The Sight Of A Baby Patient In The Children's Hospital There,  Who Had Been Paralyzed And Made Speechless By Fright,  But Who Took So Strange A Fancy To My Sister's Sympathetic Face That He Held Her Hand And Could Scarcely Be Induced To Release It,  Had Affected Her Deeply. So Did A Visit That She Paid One Sunday To The Seamen's Orphanage,  Where She Heard The Voices Of Hundreds Of Fatherless Children Ascending With One Accord In The Words,  "I Will Arise And Go To My Father," And Realized The Love That Watched Over Them. These Scenes Were Both To Have Been Woven Into The Tale,  And The "Little Mothers" Were Boy Nurses Of Baby Brothers And Senjoying Himself--But That Was Soon Glossed Over; And He Told Her How His Brother Was Coming Down On The Morrow With A Houseful Of Guests,  And He, Val,  Had Offered To Go Before Them With The Necessary Instructions. He Did Not Say _Why_ He Had Offered To Do This; That His Debts Had Become So Pressing He Was Afraid To Show Himself Longer In London. Such Facts Were Not For The Ear Of That Fair Girl,  Who Trusted Him As The Truest Man She Knew Under Heaven.   "What Have You Been Doing,  Anne?"   He Pointed To The Maps,  And Miss Ashton Laughed.   "Mrs. Graves Was Here Yesterday; She Is Very Clever,  You Know; And When Something Was Being Said About The Course Of Ships Out Of England,  I Made Some Dreadful Mistakes. She Took Me Up Sharply,  And Papa Looked At Me Sharply--And The Result Is,  I Have To Do A Heap Of Maps. Please Tell Me If It's Right,  Percival?"   She Held Up Her Pencilled Work Of The Morning. He Was Laughing.   "What Mistakes Did You Make,  Anne?"   "I Am Not Sure But I Said Something About An Indiaman,  Leaving The London Docks,  Having To Pass Scarborough," She Returned Demurely. "It Was Quite As Bad."   "Do You Remember,  Anne,  Being Punished For Persisting,  In Spite Of The Slate On The Wall And Your Nursery-Governess,  That The Mediterranean Lay Between Scotland And Ireland? Miss Jevons Wanted To Give You Bread And Water For Three Days. How's That Prig Graves?" He Added Rather Abruptly.   Anne Ashton Laughed,  Blushing Slightly. "He Is Just As You Left Him; Very Painstaking And Efficient In The Parish,  And All That,  But,  Oh,  So Stupid In Some Things! Is The Map Right?"   "Yes,  It's Right. I'll Help You With The Rest. If Dr. Ashton--"   "Why,  Val! Is It You? I Heard Lord Hartledon Had Come Down."   Percival Elster Turned. A Lad Of Seventeen Had Come Bounding In At The Window. It Was Dr. Ashton's Eldest Living Son,  Arthur. Anne Was Twenty-One. A Son,  Who Would Have Been Nineteen Now,  Had Died; And There Was Another,  John,  Two Years Younger Than Arthur.   "How Are You,  Arthur,  Boy?" Cried Val. "Edward Hasn't Come. Who Told You He Had?"   "Mother Gum. I Have Just Met Her."   "She Told You Wrong. He Will Be Down To-Morrow. Is That Dr. Ashton?"   Attracted Perhaps By The Voices,  Dr. And Mrs. Ashton,  Who Were Then Out On The Lawn,  Came Round To The Window. Percival Elster Grasped A Hand Of Each,  And After A Minute Or Two's Studied Coldness,  The Doctor Thawed. It Was Next To Impossible To Resist The Genial Manner,  The Winning Attractions Of The Young Man To His Face. But Dr. Ashton Could Not Approve Of His Line Of Conduct; And Had Sore Doubts Whether He Had Done Right In Allowing Him To Become The Betrothed Of His Dearly-Loved Daughter. Chapter 4 (The Countess Dowager) The Guests Had Arrived,  And Hartledon Was Alive With Bustle And Lights. The First Link In The Chain,  Whose Fetters Were To Bind More Than One Victim,  Had Been Forged. Link Upon Link; A Heavy,  Despairing Burden No Hand Could Lift; A Burden Which Would Have To Be Borne For The Most Part In Dread Secrecy And Silence.   Mirrable Had Exerted Herself To Good Purpose,  And Mirrable Was Capable Of It When Occasion Needed. Help Had Been Procured From Calne,  And On The Friday Evening Several Of The Hartledon Servants Arrived From The Town-House. "None But A Young Man Would Have Put Us To Such A Rout," Quoth Mirrable,  In Her Privileged Freedom; "My Lord And Lady Would Have Sent A Week's Notice At Least." But When Lord Hartledon Arrived On The Saturday Evening With His Guests,  Mirrable Was Ready For Them.   She Stood At The Entrance To Receive Them,  In Her Black-Silk Gown And Lace Cap,  Its Broad White-Satin Strings Falling On Either Side The Bunch Of Black Ringlets That Shaded Her Thin Face. Who,  To Look At Her Quick, Sharp Countenance,  With Its Practical Sense,  Her Active Frame,  Her Ready Speech,  Her General Capability,  Would Believe Her To Be Sister To That Silly,  Dreaming Mrs. Gum? But It Was So. Lord Hartledon,  Kind,  Affable, Unaffected As Ever Was His Brother Percival,  Shook Hands With Her Heartily In The Eyes Of His Guests Before He Said A Word Of Welcome To Them; And One Of Those Guests,  A Remarkably Broad Woman,  With A Red Face, A Wide Snub Nose,  And A Front Of Light Flaxen Hair,  Who Had Stepped Into The House Leaning On Her Host's Arm--Having,  In Fact,  Taken It Unasked, And Seemed To Be Assuming A Great Deal Of Authority--Turned Round To Stare At Mirrable,  And Screwed Her Little Light Eyes Together For A Better View.   "Who Is She,  Hartledon?"   "Mrs. Mirrable," Answered His Lordship Rather Shortly. "I Think You Must Have Seen Her Before. She Has Been Hartledon's Mistress Since My Mother Died," He Rather Pointedly Added,  For He Saw Incipient Defiance In The Old Lady's Countenance.   "Oh,  Hartledon's Head Servant; The Housekeeper,  I Presume," Cried She, As Majestically As Her Harsh Voice Allowed Her To Speak. "Perhaps You'll Tell Her Who I Am,  Hartledon; And That I Have Undertaken To Preside Here For A Little While."   "I Believe Mrs. Mirrable Knows You,  Ma'am," Spoke Up Percival Elster,  For Lord Hartledon Had Turned Away,  And Was Lost Amongst His Guests. "You Have Seen The Countess-Dowager Of Kirton,  Mirrable?"   The Countess-Dowager Faced Round Upon The Speaker Sharply.   "Oh,  It's _You_,  Val Elster? Who Asked You To Interfere? I'll See The Rooms,  Mirrable,  And The Arrangements You Have Made. Maude,  Where Are You? Come With Me."   A Tall,  Stately Girl,  With Handsome Features,  Raven Hair And Eyes,  And A Brilliant Colour,  Extricated Herself From The Crowd. It Was Lady Maude Kirton. Mirrable Went First; The Countess-Dowager Followed,  Talking Volubly; And Maude Brought Up The Rear. Other Servants Came Forward To See To The Rest Of The Guests.   The Most Remarkable Quality Observable In The Countess-Dowager,  Apart From Her Great Breadth,  Was Her Restlessness. She Seemed Never Still For An Instant; Her Legs Had A Fidgety,  Nervous Movement In Them,  And In Moments Of Excitement,  Which Were Not Infrequent,  She Was Given To Executing A Sort Of War-Dance. Old She Was Not; But Her Peculiar Graces Of Person,  Her Rotund Form,  Her Badly-Made Front Of Flaxen Curls,  Which Was Rarely In Its Place,  Made Her Appear So. A Bold,  Scheming, Unscrupulous,  Vulgar-Minded Woman,  Who Had Never Considered Other People's Feelings In Her Life,  Whether Equals Or Inferiors. In Her Day She Must Have Been Rather Tall--Nearly As Tall As That Elegant Maude Who Followed Her; But Her Astounding Width Caused Her Now To Appear Short. She Went Looking Into The Different Rooms As Shown To Her By Mirrable, And Chose The Best For Herself And Her Daughter.   "Three En Suite. Yes,  That Will Be The Thing,  Mirrable. Lady Maude Will Take The Inner One,  I Will Occupy This,  And My Maid The Outer. Very Good. Now You May Order The Luggage Up."   "But My Lady," Objected Mirrable,  "These Are The Best Rooms In The House; And Each Has A Separate Entrance,  As You Perceive. With So Many Guests To Provide For,  Your Maid Cannot Have One Of These Rooms."   "What?" Cried The Countess-Dowager. "My Maid Not Have One Of These Rooms? You Insolent Woman! Do You Know That I Am Come Here With My Nephew,  Lord Hartledon,  To Be Mistress Of This House,  And Of Every One In It? You'd Better Mind _Your_ Behaviour,  For I Can Tell You That I Shall Look Pretty Sharply After It."   "Then," Said Mirrable,  Who Never Allowed Herself To Be Put Out By Any Earthly Thing,  And Rarely Argued Against The Stream,  "As Your Ladyship Has Come Here As Sole Mistress,  Perhaps You Will Yourself Apportion The Rooms To The Guests."   "Let Them Apportion Them For Themselves," Cried The Countess-Dowager. "These Three Are Mine; Others Manage As They Can. It's Hartledon's Fault. I Told Him Not To Invite A Heap Of People. You And I Shall Get On Together Very Well,  I've No Doubt,  Mirrable," She Continued In A False, Fawning Voice; For She Was Remarkably Alive At All Times To Her Own Interests. "Am I To Understand That You Are The Housekeeper?"   "I Am Acting As Housekeeper At Present," Was Mirrable's Answer. "When My Lord Went To Town,  After My Lady's Death,  The Housekeeper Went Also,  And Has Remained There. I Have Taken Her Place. Lord Elster--Lord Hartledon, I Mean--Has Not Lived Yet At Hartledon,  And We Have Had No Establishment."   "Then Who Are You?"   "I Was Maid To Lady Hartledon For Many Years. Her Ladyship Treated Me More As A Friend At The Last; And The Young Gentlemen Always Did So."   "_Very_ Good," Cried The Untrue Voice. "And,  Now,  Mirrable,  You Can Go Down And Send Up Some Tea For Myself And Lady Maude. What Time Do We Dine?"   "Mr. Elster Ordered It For Eight O'clock."   "And What Business Had _He_ To Take Orders Upon Himself?" And The Pale Little Eyes Flashed With Anger. "Who's Val Elster,  That He Should Interfere? I Sent Word By The Servants That We Wouldn't Dine Till Nine."   "Mr. Elster Is In His Own House,  Madam; And--"   "In His Own House!" Raved Lady Kirton. "It's No House Of His; It's His Brother's. And I Wish I Was His Brother For A Day Only; I'd Let Mr. Val Know What Presumption Comes To. Can't Dinner Be Delayed?"   "I'm Afraid Not,  My Lady."   "Ugh!" Snapped The Countess-Dowager. "Send Up Tea At Once; And Let It Be Strong,  With A Great Deal Of Green In It. And Some Rolled Bread-And-Butter,  And A Little Well-Buttered Toast."   Mirrable Departed With The Commands,  More Inclined To Laugh At The Selfish Old Woman Than To Be Angry. She Remembered The Countess-Dowager Arriving On An Unexpected Visit Some Three Or Four Years Before,  And Finding The Old Lord Hartledon Away And His Wife Ill In Bed. She Remained Three Days,  Completely Upsetting The House; So Completely Upsetting The Invalid Lady Hartledon,  That The Latter Was Glad To Lend Her A Sum Of Money To Get Rid Of Her.   Truth To Say,  Lady Kirton Had Never Been A Welcome Guest At Hartledon; Had Been Shunned,  In Fact,  And Kept Away By All Sorts Of _Ruses_. The Only Other Visit She Had Paid The Family,  In Mirrable's Remembrance,  Was To The Town-House,  When The Children Were Young. Poor Little Val Had Been Taught By His Nurse To Look Upon Her As A "Bogey;" Went About In Terror Of Her; And Her Ladyship Detecting The Feeling,  Administered Sly Pinches Whenever They Met. Perhaps Neither Of Them Had Completely Overcome The Antagonism From That Time To This.   A Scrambling Sort Of Life Had Been Lady Kirton's. The Wife Of A Very Poor And Improvident Irish Peer,  Who Had Died Early,  Leaving Her Badly Provided For,  Her Days Had Been One Long Scramble To Make Both Ends Meet And Avoid Creditors. Now In Ireland,  Now On The Continent,  Now Coming Out For A Few Brief Weeks Of Fashionable Life,  And Now On The Wing To Some Place Of Safety,  Had She Dodged About,  And Become Utterly Unscrupulous.   There Was A Whole Troop Of Children,  Who Had Been Allowed To Go To The Good Or The Bad Very Much In Their Own Way,  With Little Help Or Hindrance From Their Mother. All The Daughters Were Married Now, Excepting Maude,  Mostly To German Barons And French Counts. One Had Espoused A Marquis--Native Country Not Clearly Indicated; One An Italian Duke: But The Marquis Lived Somewhere Over In Algeria In A Small Lodging, And The Duke Condescended To Sing An Occasional Song On The Italian Stage.   It Was All One To Lady Kirton. They Had Taken Their Own Way,  And She Washed Her Hands Of Them As Easily As Though They Had Never Belonged To Her. Had They Been Able To Supply Her With An Occasional Bank-Note,  Or Welcome Her On A Protracted Visit,  They Had Been Her Well-Beloved And Most Estimable Daughters.   Of The Younger Sons,  All Were Dispersed; The Dowager Neither Knew Nor Cared Where. Now And Again A Piteous Begging-Letter Would Come From One Or The Other,  Which She Railed At And Scolded Over,  And Bade Maude Answer. Her Eldest Son,  Lord Kirton,  Had Married Some Four Or Five Years Ago,  And Since Then The Countess-Dowager's Lines Had Been Harder Than Ever. Before That Event She Could Go To The Place In Ireland Whenever She Liked (Circumstances Permitting),  And Stay As Long As She Liked; But That Was Over Now. For The Young Lady Kirton,  Who On Her Own Score Spent All The Money Her Husband Could Scrape Together,  And More,  Had Taken An Inveterate Dislike To Her Mother-In-Law,  And Would Not Tolerate Her.   Never,  Since She Was Thus Thrown Upon Her Own Resources,  Had The Countess-Dowager's Lucky Star Been In The Ascendant As It Had Been This Season,  For She Contrived To Fasten Herself Upon The Young Lord Hartledon,  And Secure A Firm Footing In His Town-House. She Called Him Her Nephew--"My Nephew Hartledon;" But That Was A Little Improvement Upon The Actual Relationship,  For She And The Late Lady Hartledon Had Been Cousins Only. She Invited Herself For A Week's Sojourn In May,  And Had Never Gone Away Again; And It Was Now August. She Had Come Down With Him, _Sans Ceremonie_,  To Hartledon; Had Told Him (As A Great Favour) That She Would Look After His House And Guests During Her Stay,  As His Mother Would Have Done. Easy,  Careless,  Good-Natured Hartledon Acquiesced,  And Took It All As A Matter Of Course. To Him She Was Ever All Sweetness And Suavity.   None Knew Better On Which Side Her Bread Was Buttered Than The Countess-Dowager. She Liked It Buttered On Both Sides,  And Generally Contrived To Get It.   She Had Come Down To Hartledon House With One Fixed Determination--That She Did Not Quit It Until The Lady Maude Was Its Mistress. For A Long While Maude Had Been Her Sole Hope. Her Other Daughters Had Married According To Their Fancy--And What Had Come Of It?--But Maude Was Different. Maude Had Great Beauty; And Maude,  Truth To Say,  Was Almost As Selfishly Alive To Her Own Interest As Her Mother. _She_ Should Marry Well,  And So Be In A Position To Shelter The Poor,  Homeless,  Wandering Dowager. Had She Chosen From The Whole Batch Of Peers,  Not One Could Have Been Found More Eligible Than He Whom Fortune Seemed To Have Turned Up For Her Purpose--Lord Hartledon; And Before The Countess-Dowager Had Been One Week His Guest In London She Began Her Scheming.   Lady Maude Was Nothing Loth. Young,  Beautiful,  Vain,  Selfish,  She Yet Possessed A Woman's Susceptible Heart; Though Surrounded With Luxury, Dress,  Pomp,  Show,  Which Are Said To Deaden The Feelings,  And In Some Measure Do Deaden Them,  Lady Maude Insensibly Managed To Fall In Love,  As Deeply As Ever Did An Obscure Damsel Of Romance. She Had First Met Him Two Years Before,  When He Was Viscount Elster; Had Liked Him Then. Their Relationship Sanctioned Their Being Now Much Together,  And The Lady Maude Lost Her Heart To Him.   Would It Bring Forth Fruit,  This Scheming Of The Countess-Dowager's,  And Maude's Own Love? In Her Wildest Hopes The Old Woman Never Dreamed Of What That Fruit Would Be; Or,  Unscrupulous As She Was By Habit,  Unfeeling By Nature,  She Might Have Carried Away Maude From Hartledon Within The Hour Of Their Arrival.   Of The Three Parties More Immediately Concerned,  The Only Innocent One--Innocent Of Any Intentions--Was Lord Hartledon. He Liked Maude Very Well As A Cousin,  But Otherwise He Did Not Care For Her. They Might Succeed--At Least,  Had Circumstances Gone On Well,  They Might Have Succeeded--In Winning Him At Last; But It Would Not Have Been From Love. His Present Feeling Towards Maude Was One Of Indifference; And Of Marriage At All He Had Not Begun To Think.   Val Elster,  On The Contrary,  Regarded Maude With Warm Admiration. Her Beauty Had Charms For Him,  And He Had Been Oftener At Her Side But For The Watchful Countess-Dowager. It Would Have Been Horrible Had Maude Fallen In Love With The Wrong Brother,  And The Old Lady Grew To Hate Him For The Fear,  As Well As On Her Own Score. The Feeling Of Dislike,  Begun In Val's Childhood,  Had Ripened In The Last Month Or Two To Almost Open Warfare. He Was Always In The Way. Many A Time When Lord Hartledon Might Have Enjoyed A _Tete-A-Tete_ With Maude,  Val Elster Was There To Spoil It.   But The Culminating Point Had Arrived One Day,  When Val,  Half Laughingly, Half Seriously,  Told The Dowager,  Who Had Been Provoking Him Almost Beyond Endurance,  That She Might Spare Her Angling In Regard To Maude, For Hartledon Would Never Bite. But That He Took His Pleasant Face Beyond Her Reach,  It Might Have Suffered,  For Her Fingers Were Held Out Alarmingly.   From That Time She Took Another Little Scheme Into Her Hands--That Of Getting Percival Elster Out Of His Brother's Favour And His Brother's House. Val,  On His Part,  Seriously Advised His Brother _Not_ To Allow The Kirtons To Come To Hartledon; And This Reached The Ears Of The Dowager. You May Be Sure It Did Not Tend To Soothe Her. Lord Hartledon Only Laughed At Val,  Saying They Might Come If They Liked; What Did It Matter?   But,  Strange To Say,  Val Elster Was As A Very Reed In The Hands Of The Old Woman. Let Her Once Get Hold Of Him,  And She Could Turn Him Any Way She Pleased. He Felt Afraid Of Her,  And Bent To Her Will. The Feeling May Have Had Its Rise Partly In The Fear Instilled Into His Boyhood,  Partly In The Yielding Nature Of His Disposition. However That Might Be,  It Was A Fact; And Val Could No More Have Openly Opposed The Resolute, Sharp-Tongued Old Woman To Her Face Than He Could Have Changed His Nature. He Rarely Called Her Anything But "Ma'am," As Their Nurse Had Taught Him And His Brothers And Sisters To Do In Those Long-Past Years.   Before Eight O'clock The Guests Had All Assembled In The Drawing-Room, Except The Countess-Dowager And Maude. Lord Hartledon Was Going About Amongst Them,  Talking To One And Another Of The Beauties Of This,  His Late Father's Place; Scarcely Yet Thought Of As His Own. He Was A Tall Slender Man; In Figure Very Much Resembling Percival,  But Not In Face: The One Was Dark,  The Other Fair. There Was Also The Same Indolent Sort Of Movement,  A Certain Languid Air Discernible In Both; Proclaiming The Undoubted Fact,  That Both Were Idle In Disposition And Given To Ennui. There The Resemblance Ended. Lord Hartledon Had Nothing Of The Irresolution Of Percival Elster,  But Was Sufficiently Decisive In Character,  Prompt In Action.   A Noble Room,  This They Were In,  As Many Of The Rooms Were In The Fine Old Mansion. Lord Hartledon Opened The Inner Door,  And Took Them Into Another,  To Show Them The Portrait Of His Brother George--A Fine Young Man Also,  With A Fair,  Pleasing Countenance.   "He Is Like Elster; Not Like You,  Hartledon," Cried A Young Man,  Whose Name Was Carteret.   "_Was_,  You Mean,  Carteret," Corrected Lord Hartledon,  In Tones Of Sad Regret. "There Was A Great Family Resemblance Between Us All,  I Believe."   "He Died From An Accident,  Did He Not?" Said Mr. O'moore,  An Irishman, Who Liked To Be Called "The O'moore."   "Yes."   Percival Elster Turned To His Brother,  And Spoke In Low Tones. "Edward, Was Any Particular Person Suspected Of Having Fired The Shot?"   "None. A Set Of Loose,  Lawless Characters Were Out That Night,  And--"   "What Are You All Looking At Here?"   The Interruption Came From Lady Kirton,  Who Was Sailing Into The Room With Maude. A Striking Contrast The One Presented To The Other. Maude In Pink Silk And A Pink Wreath,  Her Haughty Face Raised In Pride,  Her Dark Eyes Flashing,  Radiantly Beautiful. The Old Dowager,  Broad As She Was High,  Her Face Rouged,  Her Short Snub Nose Always Carried In The Air,  Her Light Eyes Unmeaning,  Her Flaxen Eyebrows Heavy,  Her Flaxen Curls Crowned By A Pea-Green Turban. Her Choice Attire Was Generally Composed,  As To-Day,  Of Some Cheap,  Flimsy,  Gauzy Material Bright In Colour. This Evening It Was Orange Lace,  All Flounces And Frills,  With A Lace Scarf; And She Generally Had Innumerable Ends Of Quilted Net Flying About Her Skirts,  Not Unlike Tails. It Was Certain She Did Not Spend Much Money Upon Her Own Attire; And How She Procured The Costly Dresses For Maude The Latter Appeared In Was Ever A Mystery. You Can Hardly Fancy The Bedecked Old Figure That She Made. The O'moore Nearly Laughed Out,  As He Civilly Turned To Answer Her Question.   "We Were Looking At This Portrait,  Lady Kirton."   "And Saying How Much He Was Like Val," Put In Young Carteret,  Between Whom And The Dowager Warfare Also Existed. "Val,  Which Was The Elder?"   "George Was."   "Then His Death Made You Heir-Presumptive," Cried The Thoughtless Young Man,  Speaking Impulsively.   "Heir-Presumptive To What?" Asked The Dowager Snapping At The Words.   "To Hartledon."   "_He_ Heir To Hartledon! Don't Trouble Yourself,  Young Man,  To Imagine That Val Elster's Ever Likely To Come Into Hartledon. Do You Want To Shoot His Lordship,  As _He_ Was Shot?"   The Uncalled-For Retort,  The Strangely Intemperate Tones,  The Quick Passionate Fling Of The Hand Towards The Portrait Astonished Young Carteret Not A Little. Others Were Surprised Also; And Not One Present But Stared At The Speaker. But She Said No More. The Pea-Green Turban And Flaxen Curls Were Nodding Ominously; And That Was All.   The Animus To Val Elster Was Very Marked. Lord Hartledon Glanced At His Brother With A Smile,  And Led The Way Back To The Other Drawing-Room. At That Moment The Butler Announced Dinner; The Party Filed Across The Hall To The Fine Old Dining-Room,  And Began Finding Their Seats.   "I Shall Sit There,  Val. You Can Take A Chair At The Side."   Val Did Look Surprised At This. He Was About To Take The Foot Of His Brother's Table,  As Usual; And There Was The Pea-Green Turban Standing Over Him,  Waiting To Usurp It. It Would Have Been Quite Beyond Val Elster,  In His Sensitiveness,  To Tell Her She Should Not Have It; But He Did Feel Annoyed. He Was Sweet-Tempered,  However. Moreover,  He Was A Gentleman,  And Only Waited To Make One Remark.   "I Fear You Will Not Like This Place,  Ma'am. Won't It Look Odd To See A Lady At The Bottom Of The Table?"   "I Have Promised My Dear Nephew To Act As Mistress,  And To See After His Guests; And I Don't Choose To Sit At The Side Under Those Circumstances." But She Had Looked At Lord Hartledon,  And Hesitated Before She Spoke. Perhaps She Thought His Lordship Would Resign The Head Of The Table To Her,  And Take The Foot Himself. If So,  She Was Mistaken.   "You Will Be More Comfortable At The Side,  Lady Kirton," Cried Lord Hartledon,  When He Discovered What The Bustle Was About.   "Not At All,  Hartledon; Not At All."   "But I Like My Brother To Face Me,  Ma'am. It Is His Accustomed Place."   Remonstrance Was Useless. The Dowager Nodded Her Pea-Green Turban,  And Firmly Seated Herself. Val Elster Dexterously Found A Seat Next Lady Maude; And A Gay Gleam Of Triumph Shot Out Of His Deep-Blue Eyes As He Glanced At The Dowager. It Was Not The Seat She Would Have Wished Him To Take; But To Interfere Again Might Have Imperilled Her Own Place. Maude Laughed. She Did Not Care For Val--Rather Despised Him In Her Heart; But He Was The Most Attractive Man Present,  And She Liked Admiration.   Another Link In The Chain! For How Many,  Many Days And Years,  Dating From That Evening,  Did That Awful Old Woman Take A Seat,  At Intervals,  At Lord Hartledon's Table,  And Assume It As A Right! Chapter 5 (Jealousy) The Rain Poured Down On The Monday Morning; And Lord Hartledon Stood At The Window Of The Countess-Dowager's Sitting-Room--One She Had Unceremoniously Adopted For Her Own Private Use--Smoking A Cigar,  And Watching The Clouds. Any Cigar But His Would Have Been Consigned To The Other Side The Door. Mr. Elster Had Only Shown (By Mere Accident) The End Of His Cigar-Case,  And The Dowager Immediately Demanded What He Meant By Displaying That Article In The Presence Of Ladies. A Few Minutes Afterwards Lord Hartledon Entered,  Smoking,  And Was Allowed To Enjoy His Cigar With Impunity. Good-Tempered Val's Delicate Lips Broke Into A Silent Smile As He Marked The Contrast.   He Lounged On The Sofa,  Doing Nothing,  In His Idle Fashion; Lord Hartledon Continued To Watch The Clouds. On The Previous Saturday Night The Gentlemen Had Entered Into An Argument About Boating: The Result Was That A Match On The River Was Arranged,  And Some Bets Were Pending On It. It Had Been Fixed To Come Off This Day,  Monday; But If The Rain Continued To Come Down,  It Must Be Postponed; For The Ladies,  Who Had Been Promised The Treat,  Would Not Venture Out To See It.   "It Has Come On Purpose," Grumbled Lord Hartledon. "Yesterday Was As Fine And Bright As It Could Be,  The Glass Standing At Set Fair; And Now,  Just Because This Boating Was To Come Off,  The Rain Peppers Down!"   The Rain Excepted,  It Was A Fair Vision That He Looked Out Upon. The Room Faced The Back Of The House,  And Beyond The Lovely Grounds Green Slopes Extended To The River,  Tolerably Wide Here,  Winding Peacefully In Its Course. The Distant Landscape Was Almost Like A Scene From Fairyland.   The Restless Dowager--In A Nondescript Head-Dress This Morning,  Adorned With An Upright Tuft Of Red Feathers And Voluminous Skirts Of Brown Net, A Jacket And Flounces To Match--Betook Herself To The Side Of Lord Hartledon.   "Where D'you Get The Boats?" She Asked.   "They Are Kept Lower Down,  At The Boat-House," He Replied,  Puffing At His Cigar. "You Can't See It From Here; It's Beyond Dr. Ashton's; Lots Of 'Em; Any Number To Be Had For The Hiring. Talking Of Dr. Ashton,  They Will Dine Here To-Day,  Ma'am."   "Who Will?" Asked Lady Kirton.   "The Doctor,  Mrs. Ashton--If She's Well Enough--And Miss Ashton."   "Who Are They,  My Dear Nephew?"   "Why,  Don't You Know? Dr. Ashton Preached To You Yesterday. He Is Rector Of Calne; You Must Have Heard Of Dr. Ashton. They Will Be Calling This Morning,  I Expect."   "And You Have Invited Them To Dinner! Well,  One Must Do The Civil To This Sort Of People."   Lord Hartledon Burst Into A Laugh. "You Won't Say 'This Sort Of People' When You See The Ashtons,  Lady Kirton. They Are Quite As Good As We Are. Dr. Ashton Has Refused A Bishopric,  And Anne Is The Sweetest Girl Ever Created."   Lady Maude,  Who Was Drawing,  And Exchanging A Desultory Sentence Once In A Way With Val,  Suddenly Looked Up. Her Colour Had Heightened,  Though It Was Brilliant At All Times.   "Are You Speaking Of My Maid?" She Said--And It Might Be That She Had Not Attended To The Conversation,  And Asked In Ignorance,  Not In Scorn. "Her Name Is Anne."   "I Was Speaking Of Anne Ashton," Said Lord Hartledon.   "Allow Me To Beg Anne Ashton's Pardon," Returned Lady Maude; Her Tone This Time Unmistakably Mocking. "Anne Is So Common A Name Amongst Servants."   "I Don't Care Whether It Is Common Amongst Servants Or Uncommon," Spoke Lord Hartledon Rather Hotly,  As Though He Would Resent The Covert Sneer. "It Is Anne Ashton's; And I Love The Name For Her Sake. But I Think It A Pretty Name; And Should,  If She Did Not Bear It; Prettier Than Yours, Maude."   "And Pray Who _Is_ Anne Ashton?" Demanded The Countess-Dowager,  With As Much Hauteur As So Queer An Old Figure And Face Could Put On,  Whilst Maude Bent Over Her Employment With White Lips.   "She Is Dr. Ashton's Daughter," Spoke Lord Hartledon,  Shortly. "My Father Valued Him Above All Men. He Loved Anne Too--Loved Her Dearly; And--Though I Don't Know Whether It Is Quite Fair To Anne To Let This Out--The Probable Future Connection Between The Families Was Most Welcome To Him. Next To My Father,  We Boys Reverenced The Doctor; He Was Our Tutor,  In A Measure,  When We Were Staying At Hartledon; At Least,  Tutor To Poor George And Val; They Used To Read With Him."   "And You Would Hint At Some Alliance Between You And This Anne Ashton!" Cried The Countess-Dowager,  In A Fume; For She Thought She Saw A Fear That The Great Prize Might Slip Through Her Fingers. "What Sort Of An Alliance,  I Should Like To Ask? Be Careful What You Say,  Hartledon; You May Injure The Young Woman."   "I'll Take Care I Don't Injure Anne Ashton," Returned Lord Hartledon, Enjoying Her Temper. "As To An Alliance With Her--My Earnest Wish Is,  As It Was My Father's,  That Time May Bring It About. Val There Knows I Wish It."   Val Glanced At His Brother By Way Of Answer. He Had Taken No Part In The Discussion; His Slight Lips Were Drawn Down,  As He Balanced A Pair Of Scissors On His Forefinger,  And He Looked Less Good-Tempered Than Usual.   "Has She Red Hair And Sky-Blue Eyes,  And A Doll's Face? Does She Sit In The Pew Under The Reading-Desk With Three Other Dolls?" Asked The Foaming Dowager.   Lord Hartledon Turned And Stared At The Speaker In Wonder--What Could Be So Exciting Her?   "She Has Soft Brown Hair And Eyes,  And A Sweet Gentle Face; She Is A Graceful,  Elegant,  Attractive Girl," Said He,  Curtly. "She Sat Alone Yesterday; For Arthur Was In Another Part Of The Church,  And Mrs. Ashton Was Not There. Mrs. Ashton Is Not In Good Health,  She Tells Me,  And Cannot Always Come. The Rector's Pew Is The One With Green Curtains."   "Oh,  _That_ Vulgar-Looking Girl!" Exclaimed Maude,  Her Unjust Words--And She Knew Them To Be Unjust--Trembling On Her Lips. "The Grand Sultan Might Exalt Her To Be His Chief Wife,  But He Could Never Make A Lady Of Her,  Or Get Her To Look Like One."   "Be Quiet,  Maude," Cried The Countess-Dowager,  Who,  With All Her Own Mistakes,  Had The Sense To See That This Sort Of Disparagement Would Only Recoil Upon Them With Interest,  And Who Did Not Like The Expression Of Lord Hartledon's Face. "You Talk As If You Had Seen This Mrs. Ashton, Hartledon,  Since Your Return."   "I Should Not Be Many Hours At Hartledon Without Seeing Mrs. Ashton," He Answered. "That's Where I Was Yesterday Afternoon,  Ma'am,  When You Were So Kindly Anxious In Your Inquiries As To What Had Become Of Me. I Dare Say I Was Absent An Unconscionable Time. I Never Know How It Passes,  Once I Am With Anne."   "We Represent Love As Blind,  You Know," Spoke Maude,  In Her Desperation, Unable To Steady Her Pallid Lips. "You Apparently Do Not See It,  Lord Hartledon,  But The Young Woman Is The Very Essence Of Vulgarity."   A Pause Followed The Speech. The Countess-Dowager Turned Towards Her Daughter In A Blazing Rage,  And Val Elster Quitted The Room.   "Maude," Said Lord Hartledon,  "I Am Sorry To Tell You That You Have Put Your Foot In It."   "Thank You," Panted Lady Maude,  In Her Agitation. "For Giving My Opinion Of Your Anne Ashton?"   "Precisely. You Have Driven Val Away In Suppressed Indignation."   "Is Val Of The Anne Ashton Faction,  That The Truth Should Tell Upon Him, As Well As Upon You?" She Returned,  Striving To Maintain An Assumption Of Sarcastic Coldness.   "It Is Upon Him That The Words Will Tell. Anne Is Engaged To Him."   "Is It True? Is Val Really Engaged To Her?" Cried The Countess-Dowager In An Ecstacy Of Relief,  Lifting Her Snub Nose And Painted Cheeks,  Whilst A Glad Light Came Into Maude's Eyes Again. "I Did Hear He Was Engaged To Some Girl; But Such Reports Of Younger Sons Go For Nothing."   "Val Was Engaged To Her Before He Went Abroad. Whether He Will Get Her Or Not,  Is Another Thing."   "To Hear You Talk,  Hartledon,  One Might Have Supposed You Cared For The Girl Yourself," Cried Lady Kirton; But Her Brow Was Smooth Again,  And Her Tone Soft As Honey. "You Should Be More Cautious."   "Cautious! Why So? I Love And Respect Anne Beyond Any Girl On Earth. But That Val Hastened To Make Hay When The Sun Shone,  Whilst I Fell Asleep Under The Hedge,  I Don't Know But I Might Have Proposed To Her Myself," He Added,  With A Laugh. "However,  It Shall Not Be My Fault If Val Does Not Win Her."   The Countess-Dowager Said No More. She Was Worldly-Wise In Her Way,  And Thought It Best To Leave Well Alone. Sailing Out Of The Room She Left Them Alone Together: As She Was Fond Of Doing.   "Is It Not Rather--Rather Beneath An Elster To Marry An Obscure Country Clergyman's Daughter?" Began Lady Maude,  A Strange Bitterness Filling Her Heart.   "I Tell You,  Maude,  The Ashtons Are Our Equals In All Ways. He Is A Proud Old Doctor Of Divinity--Not Old,  However--Of Irreproachable Family And Large Private Fortune."   "You Spoke Of Him As A Tutor?"   "A Tutor! Oh,  I Said He Was In A Measure Our Tutor When We Were Young. I Meant In Training Us--In Training Us To Good; And He Allowed George And Val To Read With Him,  And Directed Their Studies: All For Love,  And Out Of The Friendship He And My Father Bore Each Other. Dr. Ashton A Paid Tutor!" Ejaculated Lord Hartledon,  Laughing At The Notion. "Dr. Ashton An Obscure Country Clergyman! And Even If He Were,  Who Is Val,  That He Should Set Himself Up?"   "He Is The Honourable Val Elster."   "Very Honourable! Val Is An Unlucky Dog Of A Spendthrift; That's What Val Is. See How Many Times He Has Been Set Up On His Legs!--And Has Always Come Down Again. He Had That Place In The Government My Father Got Him. He Was Attache In Paris; Subsequently In Vienna; He Has Had Ever So Many Chances,  And Drops Through All. One Can't Help Loving Val; He Is An Attractive,  Sweet-Tempered,  Good-Natured Fellow; But He Was Certainly Born Under An Unlucky Star. Elster's Folly!"   "Val Will Drop Through More Chances Yet," Remarked Lady Maude. "I Pity Miss Ashton,  If She Means To Wait For Him."   "Means To! She Loves Him Passionately--Devotedly. She Would Wait For Him All Her Life,  And Think It Happiness Only To See Him Once In A Way."   "As An Astronomer Looks At A Star Through A Telescope," Laughed Maude; "And Val Is Not Worth The Devotion."   "Val Is Not A Bad Fellow In The Main; Quite The Contrary,  Maude. Of Course We All Know His Besetting Sin--Irresolution. A Child Might Sway Him,  Either For Good Or Ill. The Very Best Thing That Could Happen To Val Would Be His Marriage With Anne. She Is Sensible And Judicious; And I Think Val Could Not Fail To Keep Straight Under Her Influence. If Dr. Ashton Could Only Be Brought To See The Matter In This Light!"   "Can He Not?"   "He Thinks--And I Don't Say He Has Not Reason--That Val Should Show Some Proof Of Stability Before His Marriage,  Instead Of Waiting Until After It. The Doctor Has Not Gone To The Extent Of Parting Them,  Or Of Suspending The Engagement; But He Is Prepared To Be Strict And Exacting As To Mr. Val's Line Of Conduct; And I Fancy The Suspicion That It Would Be So Has Kept Val Away From Calne."   "What Will Be Done?"   "I Hardly Know. Val Does Not Make A Confidant Of Me,  And I Can't Get To The Bottom Of How He Is Situated. Debts I Am Sure He Has; But Whether--"   "Val Always Had Plenty Of Those," Interrupted Maude.   "True. When My Father Died,  Three Parts Of Val's Inheritance Went To Pay Off Debts Nobody Knew He Had Contracted. The Worst Is,  He Glides Into These Difficulties Unwittingly,  Led And Swayed By Others. We Don't Say Elster's Sin,  Or Elster's Crimes; We Say Elster's Folly. I Don't Believe Val Ever In His Life Did A Bad Thing Of Deliberate Intention. Designing People Get Hold Of Him--Fast Fellows Who Are Going Headlong Down-Hill Themselves--And Val,  Unable To Say 'No,' Is Drawn Here And Drawn There, And Tumbles With Them Into A Quagmire,  And Perhaps Has To Pay His Friends' Costs,  As Well As His Own,  Before He Can Get Out Of It. Do You Believe In Luck,  Maude?"   "In Luck?" Answered Maude,  Raising Her Eyes At The Abrupt Question. "I Don't Know."   "I Believe In It. I Believe That Some Are Born Under A Lucky Star,  And Others Under An Unlucky One. Val Is One Of The Latter. He Is Always Unlucky. Set Him Up,  And Down He Comes Again. I Don't Think I Ever Knew Val Lucky In My Life. Look At His Nearly Blowing His Arm Off That Time In Scotland! You Will Laugh At Me,  I Dare Say; But A Thought Crosses Me At Odd Moments That His Ill-Luck Will Prevail Still,  In The Matter Of Miss Ashton. Not If I Can Help It,  However; I'll Do My Best,  For Anne's Sake."   "You Seem To Think Very Much Of Her Yourself," Cried Lady Maude,  Her Cheeks Crimsoning With An Angry Flush.   "I Do--As Val's Future Wife. I Love Anne Ashton Better Than Any One Else In The World. We All Loved Her. So Would You If You Knew Her. In My Mother's Last Illness Anne Was A Greater Comfort To Her Than Laura."   "Should You Ever Think Of A Wife On Your Own Score,  She May Not Like This Warm Praise Of Miss Anne Ashton," Said Lady Maude,  Assiduously Drawing, Her Hot Face Bent Down To Within An Inch Of The Cardboard.   "Not Like It? She Wouldn't Be Such An Idiot,  I Hope,  As To Dislike It. Is Not Anne Going To Be My Brother's Wife? Did You Suppose I Spoke Of Anne In That Way?--You Must Have Been Dreaming,  Maude."   Maude Hoped She Had Been. The Young Man Took His Cigar From His Mouth, Ran A Penknife Through The End,  And Began Smoking Again.   "That Time Is Far Enough Off,  Maude. _I_ Am Not Going To Tie Myself Up With A Wife,  Or To Think Of One Either,  For Many A Long Year To Come."   Her Heart Beat With A Painful Throbbing. "Why Not?"   "No Danger. My Wild Oats Are Not Sown Yet,  Any More Than Val's; Only You Don't Hear Of Them,  Because I Have Money To Back Me,  And He Has Not. I Must Find A Girl I Should Like To Make My Wife Before That Event Comes Off,  Maude; And I Have Not Found Her Yet."   Lady Maude Damaged Her Landscape. She Sketched In A Tree Where A Chimney Ought To Have Been,  And Laid The Fault Upon Her Pencil.   "It Has Been Real Sport,  Maude,  Ever Since I Came Home From Knocking About Abroad,  To Hear And See The Old Ladies. They Think I Am To Be Caught With A Bait; And That Bait Is Each One's Own Enchanting Daughter. Let Them Angle,  An They Please--It Does No Harm. They Are Amused,  And I Am None The Worse. I Enjoy A Laugh Sometimes,  While I Take Care Of Myself; As I Have Need To Do,  Or I Might Find Myself The Victim Of Some Detestable Breach-Of-Promise Affair,  And Have To Stand Damages. But For Anne Ashton,  Val Would Have Had His Head In That Westminster-Noose A Score Of Times; And The Wonder Is That He Has Kept Out Of It. No,  Thank You,  My Ladies; I Am Not A Marrying Man."   "Why Do You Tell Me This?" Asked Lady Maude,  A Sick Faintness Stealing Over Her Face And Heart.   "You Are One Of Ourselves,  And I Tell You Anything. It Will Be Fun For You,  Maude,  If You'll Open Your Eyes And Look On. There Are Some In The House Now Who--" He Stopped And Laughed.   "I Would Rather Not Hear This!" She Cried Passionately. "Don't Tell Me."   Lord Hartledon Looked At Her,  Begged Her Pardon,  And Quitted The Room With His Cigar. Lady Maude,  Black As Night,  Dashed Her Pencil On To The Cardboard,  And Scored Her Sketch All Over With Ugly Black Lines. Her Face Itself Looked Ugly Then.   "Why Did He Say This To Me?" She Asked Of Her Fevered Heart. "Was It Said With A Purpose? Has He Found Out That I _Love_ Him? That My Shallow Old Mother Is One Of The Subtlest Of The Anglers? And That--"   "What On Earth Are You At With Your Drawing,  Maude?"   "Oh,  I Have Grown Sick Of The Sketch. I Am Not In A Drawing Mood To-Day, Mamma."   "And How Fierce You Were Looking," Pursued The Countess-Dowager,  Who Had Darted In At Rather An Inopportune Moment For Maude--Darting In On People At Such Moments Being Her Habit. "And That Was The Sketch Hartledon Asked You To Do For Him From The Old Painting!"   "He May Do It Himself,  If He Wants It Done."   "Where Is Hartledon?"   "I Don't Know. Gone Out Somewhere."   "Has He Offended You,  Or Vexed You?"   "Well,  He Did Vex Me. He Has Just Been Assuring Me With The Coolest Air That He Should Never Marry; Or,  At Least,  Not For Years And Years To Come. He Told Me To Notice What A Heap Of Girls Were After Him--Or Their Mothers For Them--And The Fun He Had Over It,  Not Being A Marrying Man."   "Is That All? You Need Not Have Put Yourself In A Fatigue,  And Spoilt Your Drawing. Lord Hartledon Shall Be Your Husband Before Six Months Are Over--Or Reproach Me Ever Afterwards With Being A False Prophetess And A Bungling Manager."   Maude's Brow Cleared. She Had Almost Childlike Confidence In The Tact Of Her Unscrupulous Mother.   But How The Morning's Conversation Altogether Rankled In Her Heart, None Save Herself Could Tell: Ay,  And In That Of The Dowager. Although Anne Ashton Was The Betrothed Of Percival Elster,  And Lord Hartledon's Freely-Avowed Love For Her Was Evidently That Of A Brother,  And He Had Said He Should Do All He Could To Promote The Marriage,  The Strongest Jealousy Had Taken Possession Of Lady Maude's Heart. She Already Hated Anne Ashton With A Fierce And Bitter Hatred. She Turned Sick With Envy When,  In The Morning Visit That Was That Day Paid By The Ashtons,  She Saw That Anne Was Really What Lord Hartledon Had Described Her--One Of The Sweetest,  Most Lovable,  Most Charming Of Girls; Almost Without Her Equal In The World For Grace And Goodness And Beauty. She Turned More Sick With Envy When,  At Dinner Afterwards,  To Which The Ashtons Came,  Lord Hartledon Devoted Himself To Them,  Almost To The Neglect Of His Other Guests,  Lingering Much With Anne.   The Countess-Dowager Marked It Also,  And Was Furious. Nothing Could Be Urged Against Them; They Were Unexceptionable. The Doctor,  A Chatty, Straightforward,  Energetic Man,  Of Great Intellect And Learning,  And Emphatically A Gentleman; His Wife Attracting By Her Unobtrusive Gentleness; His Daughter By Her Grace And Modest Self-Possession. Whatever Maude Kirton Might Do,  She Could Never,  For Very Shame,  Again Attempt To Disparage Them. Surely There Was No Just Reason For The Hatred Which Took Possession Of Maude's Heart; A Hatred That Could Never Be Plucked Out Again.   But Maude Knew How To Dissemble. It Pleased Her To Affect A Sudden And Violent Friendship For Anne.   "Hartledon Told Me How Much I Should Like You," She Whispered,  As They Sat Together On The Sofa After Dinner,  To Which Maude Had Drawn Her. "He Said I Should Find You The Dearest Girl I Ever Met; And I Do So. May I Call You 'Anne'?"   Not For A Moment Did Miss Ashton Answer. Truth To Say,  Far From Reciprocating The Sudden Fancy Boasted Of By Maude,  She Had Taken An Unaccountable Dislike To Her. Something Of Falsity In The Tone,  Of Sudden _Hardiesse_ In The Handsome Black Eyes,  Acted Upon Anne As An Instinctive Warning.   "As You Please,  Lady Maude."   "Thank You So Much. Hartledon Whispered To Me The Secret About You And Val--Percival,  I Mean. Shall You Accomplish The Task,  Think You?"   "What Task?"   "That Of Turning Him From His Evil Ways."   "His Evil Ways?" Repeated Anne,  In A Surprised Indignation She Did Not Care To Check. "I Do Not Understand You,  Lady Maude."   "Pardon Me,  My Dear Anne: It Was Hazardous So To Speak _To You_. I Ought To Have Said His Thoughtless Ways. Quant A Moi,  Je Ne Vois Pas La Difference. Do You Understand French?"   Miss Ashton Looked At Her,  Really Not Knowing What This Style Of Conversation Might Mean. Maude Continued; She Had A Habit Of Putting Forth A Sting On Occasion,  Or What She Hoped Might Be A Sting.   "You Are Staring At The Superfluous Question. Of Course It Is One In These _French_ Days,  When Everyone Speaks It. What Was I Saying? Oh, About Percival. Should He Ever Have The Luck To Marry,  Meaning The Income,  He Will Make A Docile Husband; But His Wife Will Have To Keep Him Under Her Finger And Thumb; She Must Be Master As Well As Mistress,  For His Own Sake."   "I Think Mr. Elster Would Not Care To Be So Spoken Of," Said Miss Ashton, Her Face Beginning To Glow.   "You Devoted Girl! It Is You Who Don't Care To Hear It. Take Care,  Anne; Too Much Love Is Not Good For Gaining The Mastership; And I Have Heard That You Are--Shall I Say It?--_Eperdue_."   Anne,  In Spite Of Her Calm Good Sense,  Was Actually Provoked To A Retort In Kind,  And Felt Terribly Vexed With Herself For It Afterwards. "A Rumour Of The Same Sort Has Been Breathed As To The Lady Maude Kirton's Regard For Lord Hartledon."   "Has It?" Returned Lady Maude,  With A Cool Tone And A Glowing Face. "You Are Angry With Me Without Reason. Have I Not Offered To Swear To You An Eternal Friendship?"   Anne Shook Her Head,  And Her Lips Parted With A Curious Expression. "I Do Not Swear So Lightly,  Lady Maude."   "What If I Were To Avow To You That It Is True?--That I Do Love Lord Hartledon,  Deeply As It Is Known You Love His Brother," She Added, Dropping Her Voice--"Would You Believe Me?"   Anne Looked At The Speaker's Face,  But Could Read Nothing. Was She In Jest Or Earnest?   "No,  I Would Not Believe You," She Said,  With A Smile. "If You Did Love Him,  You Would Not Proclaim It."   "Exactly. I Was Jesting. What Is Lord Hartledon To Me?--Save That We Are Cousins,  And Passably Good Friends. I Must Avow One Thing,  That I Like Him Better Than I Do His Brother."   "For That No Avowal Is Necessary," Said Anne; "The Fact Is Sufficiently Evident."   "You Are Right,  Anne;" And For Once Maude Spoke Earnestly. "I Do _Not_ Like Percival Elster. But I Will Always Be Civil To Him For Your Sweet Sake."   "Why Do You Dislike Him?--If I May Ask It. Have You Any Particular Reason For Doing So?"   "I Have No Reason In The World. He Is A Good-Natured,  Gentlemanly Fellow; And I Know No Ill Of Him,  Except That He Is Always Getting Into Scrapes, And Dropping,  As I Hear,  A Lot Of Money. But If He Got Out Of His Last Guinea,  And Went Almost In Rags,  It Would Be Nothing To Me; So _That's_ Not It. One Does Take Antipathies; I Dare Say You Do,  Miss Ashton. What A Blessing Hartledon Did Not Die In That Fever He Caught Last Year! Val Would Have Inherited. What A Mercy!"   "That He Lived? Or That Val Is Not Lord Hartledon?"   "Both. But I Believe I Meant That Val Is Not Reigning."   "You Think He Would Not Have Made A Worthy Inheritor?"   "A Worthy Inheritor? Oh,  I Was Not Glancing At That Phase Of The Question. Here He Comes! I Will Give Up My Seat To Him."   It Is Possible Lady Maude Expected Some Pretty Phrases Of Affection; Begging Her To Keep It. If So,  She Was Mistaken. Anne Ashton Was One Of Those Essentially Quiet,  Self-Possessed Girls In Society,  Whose Manners Seem Almost To Border On Apathy. She Did Not Say "Do Go," Or "Don't Go." She Was Perfectly Passive; And Maude Moved Away Half Ashamed Of Herself, And Feeling,  In Spite Of Her Jealousy And Her Prejudice,  That If Ever There Was A Ladylike Girl Upon Earth,  It Was Anne Ashton.   "How Do You Like Her,  Anne?" Asked Val Elster,  Dropping Into The Vacant Place.   "Not Much."   "Don't You? She Is Very Handsome."   "Very Handsome Indeed. Quite Beautiful. But Still I Don't Like Her."   "You Would Like Her If You Knew Her. She Has A Rare Spirit,  Only The Old Dowager Keeps It Down."   "I Don't Think She Much Likes You,  Val."   "She Is Welcome To Dislike Me," Returned Val Elster. Chapter 6 (At The Bridge) The Famous Boat-Race Was Postponed. Some Of The Competitors Had Discovered They Should Be The Better For A Few Days' Training,  And The Contest Was Fixed For The Following Monday.   Not A Day Of The Intervening Week But Sundry Small Cockle-Shells--Things The Ladies Had Already Begun To Designate As The "Wager-Boats," Each Containing A Gentleman Occupant,  Exercising His Arms On A Pair Of Sculls--Might Be Seen Any Hour Passing And Repassing On The Water; And The Green Slopes Of Hartledon,  Which Here Formed The Bank Of The River, Grew To Be Tenanted With Fair Occupants. Of Course They Had Their Favourites,  These Ladies,  And Their Little Bets Of Gloves On Them.   As The Day For The Contest Drew Near The Interest Became Really Exciting; And On The Saturday Morning There Was Quite A Crowd On The Banks. The Whole Week,  Since Monday,  Had Been Most Beautiful--Calm,  Warm,  Lovely. Percival Elster,  In His Rather Idle Fashion,  Was Not Going To Join In The Contest: There Were Enough Without Him,  He Said.   He Was Standing Now,  Talking To Anne. His Face Wore A Sad Expression, As She Glanced Up At Him From Beneath The White Feather Of Her Rather Large-Brimmed Straw Hat. Anne Had Been A Great Deal At Hartledon That Week,  And Was As Interested In The Race As Any Of Them,  Wearing Lord Hartledon's Colours.   "How Did You Hear It,  Anne?" He Was Asking.   "Mamma Told Me. She Came Into My Room Just Now,  And Said There Had Been Words."   "Well,  It's True. The Doctor Took Me To Task Exactly As He Used To Do When I Was A Boy. He Said My Course Of Life Was Sinful; And I Rather Fired Up At That. Idle And Useless It May Be,  But Sinful It Is Not: And I Said So. He Explained That He Meant That,  And Persisted In His Assertion--That An Idle,  Aimless,  Profitless Life Was A Sinful One. Do You Know The Rest?"   "No," She Faltered.   "He Said He Would Give Me To The End Of The Year. And If I Were Then Still Pursuing My Present Frivolous Course Of Life,  Doing No Good To Myself Or To Anyone Else,  He Should Cancel The Engagement. My Darling, I See How This Pains You."   She Was Suppressing Her Tears With Difficulty. "Papa Will Be Sure To Keep His Word,  Percival. He Is So Resolute When He Thinks He Is Right."   "The Worst Is,  It's True. I Do Fall Into All Sorts Of Scrapes,  And I Have Got Out Of Money,  And I Do Idle My Time Away," Acknowledged The Young Man In His Candour. "And All The While,  Anne,  I Am Thinking And Hoping To Do Right. If Ever I Get Set On My Legs Again,  _Won't_ I Keep On Them!"   "But How Many Times Have You Said So Before!" She Whispered.   "Half The Follies For Which I Am Now Paying Were Committed When I Was But A Boy," He Said. "One Of The Men Now Visiting Here,  Dawkes,  Persuaded Me To Put My Name To A Bill For Him For Fifteen Hundred Pounds,  And I Had To Pay It. It Hampered Me For Years; And In The End I Know I Must Have Paid It Twice Over. I Might Have Pleaded That I Was Under Age When He Got My Signature,  But It Would Have Been Scarcely Honourable To Do So."   "And You Never Profited By The Transaction?"   "Never By A Sixpence. It Was Done For Dawkes's Accommodation,  Not Mine. He Ought To Have Paid It,  You Say? My Dear,  He Is A Man Of Straw,  And Never Had Fifteen Hundred Pounds Of His Own In His Life."   "Does Lord Hartledon Know Of This? I Wonder He Has Him Here."   "I Did Not Mention It At The Time; And The Thing's Past And Done With. I Only Tell You Now To Give You An Idea Of The Nature Of My Embarrassments And Scrapes. Not One In Ten Has Really Been Incurred For Myself: They Only Fall Upon Me. One Must Buy Experience."   Terribly Vexed Was That Sweet Face,  An Almost Painful Sadness Upon The Generally Sunny Features.   "I Will Never Give You Up,  Anne," He Continued,  With Emotion. "I Told The Doctor So. I Would Rather Give Up Life. And You Know That Your Love Is Mine."   "But My Duty Is Theirs. And If It Came To A Contest--Oh,  Percival! You Know,  You Know Which Would Have To Give Place. Papa Is So Resolute In Right."   "It's A Shame That Fortune Should Be So Unequally Divided!" Cried The Young Man,  Resentfully. "Here's Edward With An Income Of Thirty Thousand A Year,  And I,  His Own Brother,  Only A Year Or Two Younger,  Can't Boast A Fourth Part As Many Hundreds!"   "Oh,  Val! Your Father Left You Better Off Than That!"   "But So Much Of It Went,  Anne," Was The Gloomy Answer. "I Never Understood The Claims That Came In Against Me,  For My Part. Edward Had No Debts To Speak Of; But Then Look At His Allowance."   "He Was The Eldest Son," She Gently Said.   "I Know That. I Am Not Wishing Myself In Edward's Place,  Or He Out Of It. I Heartily Wish Him Health And A Long Life To Wear His Honours; It Is No Fault Of His That He Should Be Rolling In Riches,  And I A Martyr To Poverty. Still,  One Can't Help Feeling At Odd Moments,  When The Shoe's Pinching Awfully,  That The System Is Not Altogether A Just One."   "Was That A Sincere Wish,  Val Elster?"   Val Wheeled Round On Lady Maude,  From Whom The Question Came. She Had Stolen Up To Them Unperceived,  And Stood There In Her Radiant Beauty,  Her Magnificent Dark Eyes And Her Glowing Cheeks Set Off By A Little Coquettish Black-Velvet Hat.   "A Sincere Wish--That My Brother Should Live Long To Enjoy His Honours!" Echoed Val,  In A Surprised Tone. "Indeed It Is. I Hope He Will Live To A Green Old Age,  And Leave Goodly Sons To Succeed Him."   Maude Laughed. A Brighter Hue Stole Into Her Face,  A Softer Shade To Her Eyes: She Saw Herself,  As In A Vision,  The Goodly Mother Of Those Goodly Sons.   "Are You Going To Wear _That_?" She Asked,  Touching The Knot Of Ribbon In Miss Ashton's Hands With Her Petulant Fingers. "They Are Lord Hartledon's Colours."   "I Shall Wear It On Monday. Lord Hartledon Gave It To Me."   A Rash Avowal. The Competitors,  In A Sort Of Joke,  Had Each Given Away One Knot Of His Own Colours. Lady Maude Had Had Three Given To Her; But She Was Looking For Another Worth Them All--From Lord Hartledon. And Now--It Was Given,  It Appeared,  To Anne Ashton! For Her Very Life She Could Not Have Helped The Passionate Taunt That Escaped From Her,  Not In Words,  But In Tone:   "To _You_!"   "Kissing Goes By Favour," Broke From The Delicate Lips Of Val Elster,  And Lady Maude Could Have Struck Him For The Significant,  Saucy Expression Of His Violet-Blue Eyes. "Edward Loves Anne Better Than He Ever Loved His Sisters; And For Any Other Love--_That's_ Still Far Enough From His Heart,  Maude."   She Had Recovered Herself Instantly; Cried Out "Yes" To Those In The Distance,  As If She Heard A Call,  And Went Away Humming A Tune.   "Val,  She Loves Your Brother," Whispered Anne.   "Do You Think So? I Do Sometimes; And Again I'm Puzzled. She Acts Well If She Does. The Other Day I Told Edward She Was In Love With Him: He Laughed At Me,  And Said I Was Dreaming; That If She Had Any Love For Him, It Was Cousin's Love. What's More,  Anne,  He Would Prefer Not To Receive Any Other; So Maude Need Not Look After Him: It Will Be Labour Lost. Here Comes That Restless Old Dowager Down Upon Us! I Shall Leave You To Her, Anne. I Never Dare Say My Soul's My Own In The Presence Of That Woman."   Val Strolled Away As He Spoke. He Was Not At Ease That Day,  And The Sharp,  Meddling Old Woman Would Have Been Intolerable. It Was All Very Well To Put A Good Face On Matters To Anne,  But He Was In More Perplexity Than He Cared To Confess To. It Seemed To Him That He Would Rather Die Than Give Up Anne: And Yet--In The Straightforward,  Practical Good Sense Of Dr. Ashton,  He Had A Formidable Adversary To Deal With.   He Suddenly Found An Arm Inserted Within His Own,  And Saw It Was His Brother. Walking Together Thus,  There Was A Great Resemblance Between Them.   They Were Of The Same Height,  Much The Same Build; Both Were Very Good-Looking Men,  But Percival Had The Nicer Features; And He Was Fair, And His Brother Dark.   "What Is This,  Val,  About A Dispute With The Doctor?" Began Lord Hartledon.   "It Was Not A Dispute," Returned Val. "There Were A Few Words,  And I Was Hasty. However,  I Begged His Pardon,  And We Parted Good Friends."   "Under A Flag Of Truce,  Eh?"   "Something Of That Sort."   "Something Of That Sort!" Repeated Lord Hartledon. "Don't You Think,  Val, It Would Be To Your Advantage If You Trusted Me More Thoroughly Than You Do? Tell Me The Whole Truth Of Your Position,  And Let Me See What Can Be Done For You."   "There's Not Much To Tell," Returned Val,  In His Stupidity. Even With His Brother His Ultra-Sensitiveness Clung To Him; And He Could No More Have Confessed The Extent Of His Troubles Than He Could Have Taken Wing That Moment And Soared Away Into The Air. Val Elster Was One Of Those Who Trust To Things "Coming Right" With Time.   "I Have Been Talking To The Doctor,  Val. I Called In Just Now To See Mrs. Ashton,  And He Spoke To Me About You."   "Very Kind Of Him,  I'm Sure!" Retorted Val. "It Is Just This,  Edward. He Is Vexed At What He Calls My Idle Ways,  And Waste Of Time: As If I Need Plod On,  Like A City Clerk,  Six Days A Week And No Holidays! I Know I Must Do Something Before I Can Win Anne; And I Will Do It: But The Doctor Need Not Begin To Cry Out About Cancelling The Engagement."   "How Much Do You Owe,  Val?"   "I Can't Tell."   Lord Hartledon Thought This An Evasion. But It Was True. Val Elster Knew He Owed A Great Deal More Than He Could Pay; But How Much It Might Be On The Whole,  He Had But A Very Faint Idea.   "Well,  Val,  I Have Told The Doctor I Shall Look Into Matters,  And I Hope To Do It Efficiently,  For Anne's Sake. I Suppose The Best Thing Will Be To Try And Get You An Appointment Again."   "Oh,  Edward,  If You Would! And You Know You Have The Ear Of The Ministry."   "I Dare Say It Can Be Managed. But This Will Be Of Little Use If You Are Still To Remain An Embarrassed Man. I Hear You Were Afraid Of Arrest In London."   "Who Told You That?"   "Dawkes."   "Dawkes! Then,  Edward--" Val Elster Stopped. In His Vexation,  He Was About To Retaliate On Captain Dawkes By A Little Revelation On The Score Of _His_ Affairs,  Certain Things That Might Not Have Redounded To That Gallant Officer's Credit. But He Arrested The Words In Time: He Was Of A Kindly Nature,  Not Fond Of Returning Ill For Ill. With All His Follies, Val Elster Could Not Remember To Have Committed An Evil Act In All His Life,  Save One. And That One He Had Still The Pleasure Of Paying For Pretty Deeply.   "Dawkes Knows Nothing Of My Affairs Except From Hearsay,  Edward. I Was Once Intimate With The Man; But He Served Me A Shabby Trick,  And That Ended The Friendship. I Don't Like Him."   "I Dare Say What He Said Was Not True," Said Lord Hartledon Kindly. "You Might As Well Make A Confidant Of Me. However,  I Have Not Time To Talk To-Day. We Will Go Into The Matter,  Val,  After Monday,  When This Race Has Come Off,  And See What Arrangement Can Be Made For You. There's Only One Thing Bothers Me."   "What's That?"   "The Danger That It May Be A Wasted Arrangement. If You Are Only Set Up On Your Legs To Come Down Again,  As You Have Before,  It Will Be So Much Waste Of Time And Money; So Much Loss,  To Me,  Of Temper. Don't You See, Val?"   Percival Elster Stopped In His Walk,  And Withdrew His Arm From His Brother's; His Face And Voice Full Of Emotion.   "Edward,  I Have Learnt A Lesson. What It Has Cost Me I Hardly Yet Know: But It Is _Learnt_. On My Sacred Word Of Honour,  In The Solemn Presence Of Heaven,  I Assert It,  That I Will Never Put My Hand To Another Bill, Whatever May Be The Temptation. I Have Overcome,  In This Respect At Least,  My Sin."   "Your Sin?"   "My Nature's Great Sin; The Besetting Sin That Has Clung To Me Through Life; The Unfortunate Sin That Is My Bane To This Hour--Cowardly Irresolution."   "All Right,  Val; I See You Mean Well Now. We'll Talk Of These Matters Next Week. Instead Of Elster's Folly,  Let It Become Elster's Wisdom."   Lord Hartledon Wrung His Brother's Hand And Turned Away. His Eyes Fell On Miss Ashton,  And He Went Straight Up To Her. Putting The Young Lady's Arm Within His Own,  Without Word Or Ceremony,  He Took Her Off To A Distance: And Old Lady Kirton's Skirts Went Round In A Dance As She Saw It.   "I Am About To Take Him In Hand,  Anne,  And Set Him Going Again: I Have Promised Dr. Ashton. We Must Get Him A Snug Berth; One That Even The Doctor Won't Object To,  And Set Him Straight In Other Matters. If He Has Mortgaged His Patrimony,  It Shall Be Redeemed. And,  Anne,  I Think--I Do Think--He May Be Trusted To Keep Straight For The Future."   Her Soft Sweet Eyes Sparkled With Pleasure,  And Her Lips Parted With A Sunny Smile. Lord Hartledon Took Her Hand Within His Own As It Lay On His Arm,  And The Furious Old Dowager Saw It All From The Distance.   "Don't Say As Much As This To Him,  Anne: I Only Tell You. Val Is So Sanguine,  That It May Be Better Not To Tell Him All Beforehand. And I Want,  Of Course,  First Of All,  To Get A True List Of--That Is,  A True Statement Of Facts," He Broke Off,  Not Caring To Speak The Word "Debts" To That Delicate Girl Before Him. "He Is My Only Brother; My Father Left Him To Me,  For He Knew What Val Was; And I'll Do My Best For Him. I'd Do It For Val's Own Sake,  Apart From The Charge. And,  Anne,  Once Val Is On His Legs With An Income,  Snug And Comfortable,  I Shall Recommend Him To Marry Without Delay; For,  After All,  You Will Be His Greatest Safeguard."   A Blush Suffused Her Face,  And Lord Hartledon Smiled.   Down Came The Countess-Dowager.   "Here's That Old Dowager Calling To Me. She Never Lets Me Alone. Val Sent Me Into A Fit Of Laughter Yesterday,  Saying She Had Designs On Me For Maude. Poor Deluded Woman! Yes,  Ma'am,  I Hear. What Is It?"   Mr. Elster Went Strolling Along On The Banks Of The River,  Towards Calne; Not With Any Particular Purpose,  But In His Restless Uneasiness. He Had A Tender Conscience,  And His Past Follies Were Pressing On It Heavily. Of One Thing He Felt Sure--That He Was More Deeply Involved Than Hartledon Or Anyone Else Suspected,  Perhaps Even Himself. The Way Was Charming In Fine Weather,  Though Less Pleasant In Winter. It Was By No Means A Frequented Road,  And Belonged Of Right To Lord Hartledon Only; But It Was Open To All. Few Chose It When They Could Traverse The More Ordinary Way. The Narrow Path On The Green Plain,  Sheltered By Trees,  Wound In And Out, Now On The Banks Of The River,  Now Hidden Amidst A Portion Of The Wood. Altogether It Was A Wild And Lonely Pathway; Not One That A Timid Nature Would Choose On A Dark Night. You Might Sit In The Wood,  Which Lay To The Left,  A Whole Day Through,  And Never See A Soul.   One Part Of The Walk Was Especially Beautiful. A Green Hollow,  Where The Turf Was Soft As Moss; Open To The River On The Right,  With A Glimpse Of The Lovely Scenery Beyond; And On The Left,  The Clustering Trees Of The Wood. Yet Further,  Through A Break In The Trees,  Might Be Seen A View Of The Houses Of Calne. A Little Stream,  Or Rivulet,  Trickled From The Wood, And A Rustic Bridge--More For Ornament Than Use,  For A Man With Long Legs Could Stride The Stream Well--Was Thrown Over It. Val Had Reached Thus Far,  When He Saw Someone Standing On The Bridge,  His Arms On The Parapet, Apparently In A Brown Study.   A Dark,  Wild-Looking Man,  Whose Face,  At The First Glimpse,  Seemed All Hair. There Was Certainly A Profusion Of It; Eyebrows,  Beard,  Whiskers, All Heavy,  And Black As Night. He Was Attired In Loose Fustian Clothes With A Red Handkerchief Wound Round His Throat,  And A Low Slouching Hat--One Of Those Called Wide-Awake--Partially Concealed His Features. By His Side Stood Another Man In Plain,  Dark,  Rather Seedy Clothes,  The Coat Outrageously Long. He Wore A Cloth Hat,  Whose Brim Hid His Face,  And He Was Smoking A Cigar. Both Men Were Slightly Built And Under Middle Height. This One Was Adorned With Red Whiskers.   The Moment Mr. Elster Set Eyes On The Dark One,  He Felt That He Saw The Man Pike Before Him. It Happened That He Had Not Met Him During These Few Days Of His Sojourn; But Some Of The Men Staying At Hartledon Had,  And Had Said What A Loose Specimen He Appeared To Be. The Other Was A Stranger,  And Did Not Look Like A Countryman At All.   Mr. Elster Saw Them Both Give A Sharp Look At Him As He Approached; And Then They Spoke Together. Both Stepped Off The Bridge,  As Though Deferring To Him,  And Stood Aside As They Watched Him Cross Over,  Pike Touching His Wide-Awake.   "Good-Day,  My Lord."   Val Nodded By Way Of Answer,  And Continued His Stroll Onwards. In The Look He Had Taken At Pike,  It Struck Him He Had Seen The Face Before: Something In The Countenance Seemed Familiar To His Memory. And To His Surprise He Saw That The Man Was Young.   The Supposed Reminiscence Did Not Trouble Him: He Was Too Pre-Occupied With Thoughts Of His Own Affairs To Have Leisure For Mr. Pike's. A Short Bit Of Road,  And This Rude,  Sheltered Part Of The Way Terminated In More Open Ground,  Where Three Paths Diverged: One To The Front Of Hartledon; One To Some Cottages,  And On Through The Wood To The High-Road; And One Towards The Rectory And Calne. Rural Paths Still,  All Of Them; And The Last Was Provided With A Bench Or Two. Val Elster Strolled On Almost To The Rectory,  And Then Turned Back: He Had No Errand At Calne,  And The Rectory He Would Rather Keep Out Of Just Now. When He Reached The Little Bridge Pike Was On It Alone; The Other Had Disappeared. As Before,  He Stepped Off To Make Way For Mr. Elster.   "I Beg Pardon,  Sir,  For Addressing You Just Now As Lord Hartledon."   The Salutation Took Val By Surprise; And Though The Voice Seemed Muffled, As Though The Man Purposely Mouthed His Words,  The Accent And Language Were Superior To Anything He Might Have Expected From One Of Mr. Pike's Appearance And Reputed Character.   "No Matter," Said Val,  Courteous Even To Pike,  In His Kindly Nature. "You Mistook Me For My Brother. Many Do."   "Not I," Returned The Man,  Assuming A Freedom And A Roughness At Variance With His Evident Intelligence. "I Know You For The Honourable Percival Elster."   "Ah," Said Mr. Elster,  A Slight Curiosity Stirring His Mind,  But Not Sufficient To Induce Him To Follow It Up.   "But I Like To Do A Good Turn If I Can," Pursued Pike; "And I Think,  Sir, I Did One To You In Calling You Lord Hartledon."   Val Elster Had Been Passing On. He Turned And Looked At The Man.   "Are You In Any Little Temporary Difficulty,  Might I Ask?" Continued Pike. "No Offense,  Sir; Princes Have Been In Such Before Now."   Val Elster Was So Supremely Conscious,  Especially In That Reflective Hour,  Of Being In A "Little Difficulty" That Might Prove More Than Temporary,  That He Could Only Stare At The Questioner And Wait For More.   "No Offence Again,  If I'm Wrong," Resumed Pike; "But If That Man You Saw Here On The Bridge Is Not Looking After The Honourable Mr. Elster,  I'm A Fool."   "Why Do You Think This?" Inquired Val,  Too Fully Aware That The Fact Was A Likely One To Attempt Any Reproof Or Disavowal.   "I'll Tell You," Said Pike; "I've Said I Don't Mind Doing A Good Turn When I Can. The Man Arrived Here This Morning By The Slow Six Train From London. He Went Into The Stag And Had His Breakfast,  And Has Been Covertly Dodging About Ever Since. He Inquired His Way To Hartledon. The Landlord Of The Stag Asked Him What He Wanted There,  And Got For Answer That His Brother Was One Of The Grooms In My Lord's Service. Bosh! He Went Up,  Sneaking Under The Hedges And Along By-Ways,  And Took A View Of The House,  Standing A Good Hour Behind A Tree While He Did It. I Was Watching Him."   It Instantly Struck Percival Elster,  By One Of Those Flashes Of Conviction That Are No Less Sure Than Subtle,  That Mr. Pike's Interest In This Watching Arose From A Fear That The Stranger Might Have Been Looking After _Him_. Pike Continued:   "After He Had Taken His Fill Of Waiting,  He Came Dodging Down This Way, And I Got Into Conversation With Him. He Wanted To Know Who I Was. A Poor Devil Out Of Work,  I Told Him; A Soldier Once,  But Maimed And Good For Little Now. We Got Chatty. I Let Him Think He Might Trust Me,  And He Began Asking No End Of Questions About Mr. Elster: Whether He Went Out Much,  What Were His Hours For Going Out,  Which Road He Mostly Took In His Walks,  And How He Could Know Him From His Brother The Earl; He Had Heard They Were Alike. The Hound Was Puzzled; He Had Seen A Dozen Swells Come Out Of Hartledon,  Any One Of Which Might Be Mr. Elster; But I Found He Had The Description Pretty Accurate. Whilst We Were Talking,  Who Should Come Into View But Yourself! 'This Is Him!' Cried He. 'Not A Bit Of It,' Said I,  Carelessly; 'That's My Lord.' Now You Know,  Sir,  Why I Saluted You As Lord Hartledon."   "Where Is He Now?" Asked Percival Elster,  Feeling That He Owed His Present State Of Liberty To This Lawless Man.   Pike Pointed To The Narrow Path In The Wood,  Leading To The High-Road. "I Filled Him Up With The Belief That The Way Beyond This Bridge Up To Hartledon Was Private,  And He Might Be Taken Up For Trespassing If He Attempted To Follow It; So He Went Off That Way To Watch The Front. If The Fellow Hasn't A Writ In His Pocket,  Or Something Worse,  Call Me A Simpleton. You Are All Right,  Sir,  As Long As He Takes You For Lord Hartledon."   But There Was Little Chance The Fellow Could Long Take Him For Lord Hartledon,  And Percival Elster Felt Himself Attacked With A Shiver. He Knew It To Be Worse Than A Writ; It Was An Arrest. An Arrest Is Not A Pleasant Affair For Any One; But A Strong Opinion--A Certainty--Seized Upon Val's Mind That This Would Bring Forth Dr. Ashton's Veto Of Separation From Anne.   "I Thank You For What You Have Done," Frankly Spoke Mr. Elster.   "It's Nothing,  Sir. He'll Be Dodging About After His Prey; But I'll Dodge About Too,  And Thwart His Game If I Can,  Though I Have To Swear That Lord Hartledon's Not Himself. What's An Oath,  More Or Less,  To Me?"   "Where Have I Seen You Before?" Asked Val.   "Hard To Say," Returned Pike. "I Have Knocked About In Many Parts In My Time."   "Are You From This Neighbourhood?"   "Never Was In These Parts At All Till A Year Or So Ago. It's Not Two Years Yet."   "What Are You Doing Here?"   "What I Can. A Bit Of Work When I Can Get It Given To Me. I Went Tramping The Country After I Left The Regiment--"   "Then You Have Been A Soldier?" Interrupted Mr. Elster.   "Yes,  Sir. In Tramping The Country I Came Upon This Place: I Crept Into A Shed,  And Was There For Some Days; Rheumatism Took Hold Of Me,  And I Couldn't Move. It Was Something To Find I Had A Roof Of Any Sort Over My Head,  And Was Let Lie In It Unmolested: And When I Got Better I Stayed On."   "And Have Adopted It As Your Own,  Putting A Window And A Chimney Into It! But Do You Know That Lord Hartledon May Not Choose To Retain You As A Tenant?"   "If Lord Hartledon Should Think Of Ousting Me,  I Would Ask Mr. Elster To Intercede,  In Requital For The Good Turn I've Done Him This Day," Was The Bold Answer.   Mr. Elster Laughed. "What Is Your Name?"   "Tom Pike."   "I Hear A Great Deal Said Of You,  Pike,  That's Not Pleasant; That You Are A Poacher,  And A--"   "Let Them That Say So Prove It," Interrupted Pike,  His Dark Brows Contracting.   "But How Do You Manage To Live?"   "That's My Business,  And Not Calne's. At Any Rate,  Mr. Elster,  I Don't Steal."   "I Heard A Worse Hint Dropped Of You Than Any I Have Mentioned," Continued Val,  After A Pause.   "Tell It Out,  Sir. Let's Have The Whole Catalogue At Once."   "That The Night My Brother,  Mr. Elster,  Was Shot,  You Were Out With The Poachers."   "I Dare Say You Heard That I Shot Him,  For I Know It Has Been Said," Fiercely Cried The Man. "It's A Black Lie!--And The Time May Come When I Shall Ram It Down Calne's Throat. I Swear That I Never Fired A Shot That Night; I Swear That I No More Had A Hand In Mr. Elster's Death Than You Had. Will You Believe Me,  Sir?"   The Accents Of Truth Are Rarely To Be Mistaken,  And Val Was Certain He Heard Them Now. So Far,  He Believed The Man; And From That Moment Dismissed The Doubt From His Mind,  If Indeed He Had Not Dismissed It Before.   "Do You Know Who Did Fire The Shot?"   "I Do Not; I Was Not Out At All That Night. Calne Pitched Upon Me, Because There Was No One Else In Particular To Pitch Upon. A Dozen Poachers Were In The Fray,  Most Of Them With Guns; Little Wonder The Random Shot From One Should Have Found A Mark. I Know Nothing More Certain Than That,  So Help--"   "That Will Do," Interrupted Mr. Elster,  Arresting What Might Be Coming; For He Disliked Strong Language. "I Believe You Fully,  Pike. What Part Of The Country Were You Born In?"   "London. Born And Bred In It."   "That I Do Not Believe," He Said Frankly. "Your Accent Is Not That Of A Londoner."   "As You Will,  Sir," Returned Pike. "My Mother Was From Devonshire; But I Was Born And Bred In London. I Recognized That One With The Writ For A Fellow Cockney At Once; And For What He Was,  Too--A Sheriffs Officer. Shouldn't Be Surprised But I Knew Him For One Years Ago."   Val Elster Dropped A Coin Into The Man's Hand,  And Bade Him Good Morning. Pike Touched His Wide-Awake,  And Reiterated His Intention Of "Dodging The Enemy." But,  As Mr. Elster Cautiously Pursued His Way,  The Face He Had Just Quitted Continued To Haunt Him. It Was Not Like Any Face He Had Ever Seen,  As Far As He Could Remember; Nevertheless Ever And Anon Some Reminiscence Seemed To Start Out Of It And Vibrate Upon A Chord In His Memory. Chapter 7 (Listeners) It Was A Somewhat Singular Coincidence,  Noted After The Terrible Event, Now Looming In The Distance,  Had Taken Place,  And When People Began To Weigh The Various Circumstances Surrounding It,  That Monday,  The Second Day Fixed For The Boat-Race,  Should Be Another Day Of Rain. As Though Heaven Would Have Interposed To Prevent It! Said The Thoughtful And Romantic.   A Steady,  Pouring Rain; Putting A Stop Again To The Race For That Day. The Competitors Might Have Been Willing To Face The Elements Themselves, But Could Not Subject The Fair Spectators To The Infliction. There Was Some Inward Discontent,  And A Great Deal Of Outward Grumbling; It Did No Good,  And The Race Was Put Off Until The Next Day.   Val Elster Still Retained His Liberty. Very Chary Indeed Had He Been Of Showing Himself Outside The Door On Saturday,  Once He Was Safely Within It. Neither Had Any Misfortune Befallen Lord Hartledon. That Unconscious Victim Must Have Contrived,  In All Innocence,  To "Dodge" The Gentleman Who Was Looking Out For Him,  For They Did Not Meet.   On The Sunday It Happened That Neither Of The Brothers Went To Church. Lord Hartledon,  On Awaking In The Morning,  Found He Had A Sore Throat, And Would Not Get Up. Val Did Not Dare Show Himself Out Of Doors. Not From Fear Of Arrest That Day,  But Lest Any Officious Meddler Should Point Him Out As The Real Simon Pure,  Percival Elster. But For These Circumstances,  The Man With The Writ Could Hardly Have Remained Under The Delusion,  As He Appeared At Church Himself.   "Which Is Lord Hartledon?" He Whispered To His Neighbour On The Free Benches,  When The Party From The Great House Had Entered,  And Settled Themselves In Their Pews.   "I Don't See Him. He Has Not Come To-Day."   "Which Is Mr. Elster?"   "He Has Not Come,  Either." So For That Day Recognition Was Escaped.   It Was Not To Be So On The Next. The Rain,  As I Have Said,  Came Down, Putting Off The Boat-Race,  And Keeping Hartledon's Guests Indoors All The Morning; But Late In The Afternoon Some Unlucky Star Put It Into Lord Hartledon's Head To Go Down To The Rectory. His Throat Was Better--Almost Well Again; And He Was Not A Man To Coddle Himself Unnecessarily.   He Paid His Visit,  Stayed Talking A Considerable Time With Mrs. Ashton, Whose Company He Liked,  And Took His Departure About Six O'clock. "You And Anne Might Almost Walk Up With Me," He Remarked To The Doctor As He Shook Hands; For The Rector And Miss Ashton Were To Dine At Hartledon That Day. It Was To Have Been The Crowning Festival To The Boat-Race--The Race Which Now Had Not Taken Place.   Lord Hartledon Looked Up At The Skies,  And Found He Had No Occasion To Open His Umbrella,  For The Rain Had Ceased. Sundry Bright Rays In The West Seemed To Give Hope That The Morrow Would Be Fair; And,  Rejoicing In This Cheering Prospect,  He Crossed The Broad Rectory Lawn. As He Went Through The Gate Some One Laid A Hand Upon His Shoulder.   "The Honourable Percival Elster,  I Believe?"   Lord Hartledon Looked At The Intruder. A Seedy Man,  With A Long Coat And Red Whiskers,  Who Held Out Something To Him.   "Who Are You?" He Asked,  Releasing His Shoulder By A Sharp Movement.   "I'm Sorry To Do It,  Sir; But You Know We Are Only The Agent Of Others In These Affairs. You Are My Prisoner,  Sir."   "Indeed!" Said Lord Hartledon,  Taking The Matter Coolly. "You Have Got Hold Of The Wrong Man For Once. I Am Not Mr. Percival Elster."   The Capturer Laughed: A Very Civil Laugh. "It Won't Do,  Sir; We Often Have That Trick Tried On Us."   "But I Tell You I Am _Not_ Mr. Elster," He Reiterated,  Speaking This Time With Some Anger. "I Am Lord Hartledon."   He Of The Loose Coat Shook His Head. He Had His Hand Again On The Supposed Mr. Elster's Arm,  And Told Him He Must Go With Him.   "You Cannot Take Me; You Cannot Arrest A Peer. This Is Simply Ridiculous," Continued Lord Hartledon,  Almost Laughing At The Real Absurdity Of The Thing. "Any Child In Calne Could Tell You Who I Am."   "As Well Make No Words Over It,  Sir. It's Only Waste Of Time."   "You Have A Warrant--As I Understand--To Arrest Mr. Percival Elster?"   "Yes,  Sir,  I Have. The Man That Was Looking For You In London Got Taken Ill,  And Couldn't Come Down,  So Our Folks Sent Me. 'You'll Know Him By His Good Looks,' Said They; 'An Aristocrat Every Inch Of Him.' Don't Give Me Trouble,  Sir."   "Well Now--I Am Not Percival Elster: I Am His Brother,  Lord Hartledon. You Cannot Take One Brother For Another; And,  What's More,  You Had Better Not Try To Do It. Stay! Look Here."   He Pulled Out His Card-Case,  And Showed His Cards--"Earl Of Hartledon." He Exhibited A Couple Of Letters That Happened To Be About Him--"The Right Honble. The Earl Of Hartledon." It Was Of No Use.   "I've Known That Dodge Tried Before Too," Said His Obstinate Capturer.   Lord Hartledon Was Growing More Angry. He Saw Some Proof Must Be Tendered Before He Could Regain His Liberty. Jabez Gum Happened To Be Standing At His Gate Opposite,  And He Called To Him.   "Will You Be So Kind As To Tell This Man Who I Am,  Mr. Gum. He Is Mistaking Me For Some One Else."   "This Is The Earl Of Hartledon," Said Jabez,  Promptly.   A Moment's Hesitation On The Officer's Part; But He Felt Too Sure Of His Man To Believe This. "I'll Take The Risk," Said He,  Stolidly. "Where's The Good Of Your Holding Out,  Mr. Elster?"   "Come This Way,  Then!" Cried Lord Hartledon,  Beginning To Lose His Temper. "And If You Carry This Too Far,  My Man,  I'll Have You Punished."   He Went Striding Up To The Rectory. Had He Taken A Moment For Consideration,  He Might Have Turned Away,  Rather Than Expose This Misfortune Of Val's There. The Doctor Came Into The Hall,  And Was Recognized As The Rector,  And There Was Some Little Commotion; Anne's White Face Looking On From A Distance. The Man Was Convinced,  And Took His Departure,  Considerably Crestfallen.   "What Is The Amount?" Called The Doctor,  Sternly.   "Not Very Much,  _This_,  Sir. It's Under Three Hundred."   Which Was As Much As To Say There Was More Behind It. Dr. Ashton Mentally Washed His Hands Of Percival Elster As A Future Son-In-Law.   The First Intimation That Ill-Starred Gentleman Received Of The Untoward Turn Affairs Were Taking Was From The Rector Himself.   Mr. Percival Elster Had Been Chuckling Over That Opportune Sore Throat, As A Means Of Keeping His Brother Indoors; And It Never Occurred To Him That Lord Hartledon Would Venture Out At All On The Monday. Being A Man With His Wits About Him,  It Had Not Failed To Occur To His Mind That There Was A Possibility Of Lord Hartledon's Being Arrested In Place Of Himself; But So Long As Hartledon Kept Indoors The Danger Was Averted. Had Percival Elster Seen His Brother Go Out He Might Have Plucked Up Courage To Tell Him The State Of Affairs.   But He Did Not See Him. Lounging Idly--What Else Had He,  A Poor Prisoner, To Do?--In The Sunny Society Of Maude Kirton And Other Attractive Girls, Mr. Elster Was Unconscious Of The Movements Of The Household In General. He Was In His Own Room Dressing For Dinner When The Truth Burst Upon Him.   Dr. Ashton Was A Straightforward; Practical Man--It Has Been Already Stated--Who Went Direct To The Point At Once In Any Matters Of Difficulty. He Arrived At Hartledon A Few Minutes Before The Dinner-Hour, Found Mr. Elster Was Yet In His Dressing-Room,  And Went There To Him.   The News,  The Cool,  Scornful Anger Of The Rector,  The Keen Question--"Was He Mad?" Burst Upon The Unhappy Val Like A Clap Of Thunder. He Was Standing In His Shirt-Sleeves,  Ready To Go Down,  All But His Coat And Waistcoat,  His Hair-Brushes In The Uplifted Hands. Hands And Brushes Had Been Arrested Midway In The Shock. The Calm Clerical Man; All The More Terrible Then Because Of His Calmness; Standing There With His Cold Stinging Words,  And His Unhappy Culprit Facing Him,  Conscious Of His Heinous Sins--The Worst Sin Of All: That Of Being Found Out.   "Others Have Done So Much Before Me,  Sir,  And Have Not Made The Less Good Men," Spoke Val,  In His Desperation.   Dr. Ashton Could Not Help Admiring The Man,  As He Stood There In His Physical Beauty. In Spite Of His Inward Anger,  His Condemnation,  His Disappointment--And They Were All Very Great--The Good Looks Of Percival Elster Struck Him Forcibly With A Sort Of Annoyance: Why Should These Men Be So Outwardly Fair,  So Inwardly Frail? Those Good Looks Had Told Upon His Daughter's Heart; And They All Loved _Her_,  And Could Not Bear To Cause Her Pain. Tall,  Supple,  Graceful,  Strong,  Towering Nearly A Head Above The Doctor,  He Stood,  His Pleasing Features Full Of The Best Sort Of Attraction,  His Violet Eyes Rather Wider Open Than Usual,  The Waves Of His Silken Hair Smooth And Bright. "If He Were Only Half As Fair In Conduct As In Looks!" Muttered The Grieved Divine.   But Those Violet Eyes,  Usually Beaming With Kindness,  Suddenly Changed Their Present Expression Of Depreciation To One Of Rage. Dr. Ashton Gave A Pretty Accurate Description Of How The Crisis Had Been Brought To His Knowledge--That Lord Hartledon Had Come To The Rectory,  With His Mistaken Assailant,  To Be Identified; And Percival Elster's Anger Was Turned Against His Brother. Never In All His Life Had He Been In So Great A Passion; And Having To Suppress Its Signs In The Presence Of The Rector Only Made The Fuel Burn More Fiercely. To Ruin Him With The Doctor By Going _There_ With The News! Anywhere Else--Anywhere But The Rectory!   Hedges,  The Butler,  Interrupted The Conference. Dinner Was Waiting. Lord Hartledon Looked At Val As The Two Entered The Room,  And Was Rather Surprised At The Furious Gaze Of Reproach That Was Cast Back On Him.   Miss Ashton Was Not There. No,  Of Course Not! It Needed Not Val's Glance Around To Be Assured Of That. Of Course They Were To Be Separated From That Hour; The Fiat Was Already Gone Forth. And Mr. Val Elster Felt So Savage That He Could Have Struck His Brother. He Heard Dr. Ashton's Reply To An Inquiry--That Mrs. Ashton Was Feeling Unusually Poorly,  And Anne Remained At Home With Her--But He Looked Upon It As An Evasion. Not A Word Did He Speak During Dinner: Not A Word,  Save What Was Forced From Him By Common Courtesy,  Spoke He After The Ladies Had Left The Room; He Only Drank A Great Deal Of Wine.   A Very Unusual Circumstance For Val Elster. With All His Weak Resolution, His Yielding Nature,  Drinking Was A Fault He Was Scarcely Ever Seduced Into. Not Above Two Or Three Times In His Life Could He Remember To Have Exceeded The Bounds Of Strict,  Temperate Sobriety. The Fact Was,  He Was In Wrath With Himself: All His Past Follies Were Pressing Upon Him With Bitter Condemnation. He Was Just In That Frame Of Mind When An Object To Vent Our Fury Upon Becomes A Sort Of Necessity; And Mr. Elster's Was Vented On His Brother.   He Was Waiting At Boiling-Point For The Opportunity To "Have It Out" With Him: And It Soon Came. As The Gentlemen Left The Dining-Room--And In These Present Days They Do Not,  As A Rule,  Sit Long,  Especially When The Host Is A Young Man--Percival Elster Touched His Brother To Detain Him, And Shut The Door On The Heels Of The Rest.   Lord Hartledon Was Surprised. Val's Attack Was So Savage. He Was Talking Off His Superfluous Wrath,  And The Wine He Had Taken Did Not Tend To Cool His Heat. Lord Hartledon,  Vexed At The Injustice,  Lost His Temper; And For Once There Was A Quarrel,  Sharp And Loud,  Between The Brothers. It Did Not Last Long; In Its Very Midst They Parted; Throwing Cutting Words One At The Other. Lord Hartledon Quitted The Room,  To Join His Guests; Val Elster Strode Outside The Window To Cool His Brain.   But Now,  Look At The Obstinate Pride Of Those Two Foolish Men! They Were Angry With Each Other In Temper,  But Not In Heart. In Percival Elster's Conscience There Was An Underlying Conviction That His Brother Had Acted Only In Thoughtless Impulse When He Carried The Misfortune To The Rectory; Whilst Lord Hartledon Was Even Then Full Of Plans For Serving Val,  And Considered He Had More Need To Help Him Than Ever. A Day Or Two Given To The Indulgence Of Their Anger,  And They Would Be Firmer Friends Than Ever.   The Large French Window Of The Dining-Room,  Opening To The Ground,  Was Flung Back By Val Elster; And He Stepped Forth Into The Cool Night,  Which Was Beautifully Fine. The Room Looked Towards The River. The Velvet Lawn, Wet With The Day's Rain,  Lay Calm And Silent Under The Bright Stars; The Flowers,  Clustering Around Far And Wide,  Gave Out Their Sweet And Heavy Night Perfume. Not An Instant Had He Been Outside When He Became Conscious That Some Figure Was Gliding Towards Him--Was Almost Close To Him; And He Recognised Mr. Pike. Yes,  That Worthy Gentleman Appeared To Be Only Then Arriving On His Evening Visit: In Point Of Fact,  He Had Been Glued Ear And Eye To The Window During The Quarrel.   "What Do You Want?" Demanded Mr. Elster.   "Well,  I Came Up Here Hoping To Get A Word With You,  Sir," Replied The Man In His Rough,  Abrupt Manner,  More In Character With His Appearance And Lawless Reputation Than With His Accent And Unmistakable Intelligence. "There Was A Nasty Accident A Few Hours Ago: That Shark Came Across His Lordship."   "I Know He Did," Savagely Spoke Val. "The Result Of Your Informing Him That I Was Lord Hartledon."   "I Did It For The Best,  Mr. Elster. He'd Have Nabbed You That Very Time, But For My Putting Him Off The Scent As I Did."   "Yes,  Yes,  I Am Aware You Did It For The Best,  And I Suppose It Turned Out To Be So," Quickly Replied Val,  Some Of His Native Kindliness Resuming Its Sway. "It's An Unfortunate Affair Altogether,  And That's The Best That Can Be Said Of It."   "What I Came Up Here For Was To Tell You He Was Gone."   "Who Is Gone?"   "The Shark."   "Gone!"   "He Went Off By The Seven Train. Lord Hartledon Told Him He'd Communicate With His Principals And See That The Affair Was Arranged. It Satisfied The Man,  And He Went Away By The Next Train--Which Happened To Be The Seven-O'clock One."   "How Do You Know This?" Asked Mr. Elster.   "This Way," Was The Answer. "I Was Hovering About Outside That Shed Of Mine,  And I Saw The Encounter At The Parson's Gate--For That's Where It Took Place. The First Thing The Fellow Did When It Was All Over Was To Bolt Across The Road,  And Accuse Me Of Purposely Misleading Him. 'Not A Bit Of It,' Said I; 'If I Did Mislead You,  It Was Unintentional,  For I Took The One Who Came Over The Bridge On Saturday To Be Lord Hartledon, Safe As Eggs. But They Have Been Down Here Only A Week,' I Went On,  'And I Suppose I Don't Know 'Em Apart Yet.' I Can't Say Whether He Believed Me; I Think He Did; He's A Soft Sort Of Chap. It Was All Right,  He Said: The Earl Had Passed His Word To Him That It Should Be Made So Without His Arresting Mr. Elster,  And He Was Off To London At Once."   "And He Has Gone?"   Mr. Pike Nodded Significantly. "I Watched Him Go; Dodged Him Up To The Station And Saw Him Off."   Then This One Danger Was Over! Val Might Breathe Freely Again.   "And I Thought You Would Like To Know The Coast Was Clear; So I Came Up To Tell You," Concluded Pike.   "Thank You For Your Trouble," Said Mr. Elster. "I Shall Not Forget It."   "You'll Remember It,  Perhaps,  If A Question Arises Touching That Shed," Spoke The Man. "I May Need A Word Sometime With Lord Hartledon."   "I'll Remember It,  Pike. Here,  Wait A Moment. Is Thomas Pike Your Real Name?"   "Well,  I Conclude It Is. Pike Was The Name Of My Father And Mother. As To Thomas--Not Knowing Where I Was Christened,  I Can't Go And Look At The Register; But They Never Called Me Anything But Tom. Did You Wish To Know Particularly?"   There Was A Tone Of Mockery In The Man's Answer,  Not Altogether Acceptable To His Hearer; And He Let Him Go Without Further Hindrance. But The Man Turned Back In An Instant Of His Own Accord.   "I Dare Say You Are Wanting To Know Why I Did You This Little Turn,  Mr. Elster. I Have Been Caught In Corners Myself Before Now; And If I Can Help Anybody To Get Out Of Them Without Trouble To Myself,  I'm Willing To Do It. And To Circumvent These Law-Sharks Comes Home To My Spirit As Wholesome Refreshment."   Mr. Pike Finally Departed. He Took The Lonely Way,  And Only Struck Into The High-Road Opposite His Own Domicile,  The Shed. Passing Round It,  He Hovered At Its Rude Door--The One He Had Himself Made,  Along With The Ruder Window--And Then,  Treading Softly,  He Stepped To The Low Stile In The Hedge,  Which Had For Years Made The Boundary Between The Waste Land On Which The Shed Stood And Clerk Gum's Garden. Here He Halted A Minute, Looking All Ways. Then He Stepped Over The Stile,  Crouched Down Amongst Mr. Gum's Cabbages,  Got Under Shelter Of The Hedge,  And So Stole Onwards, Until He Came To An Anchor At The Kitchen-Window,  And Laid His Ear To The Shutter,  Just As It Had Recently Been Laid Against The Glass In The Dining-Room Of My Lord Hartledon.   That He Had A Propensity For Prying Into The Private Affairs Of His Neighbours Near And Distant,  There Could Be Little Doubt About. Mr. Pike, However,  Was Not Destined On This One Occasion To Reap Any Substantial Reward. The Kitchen Appeared To Be Wrapped In Perfect Silence. Satisfying Himself As To This,  He Next Took Off His Heavy Shoes,  Stole Past The Back Door,  And So Round The Clerk's House To The Front. Very Softly Indeed Went He,  Creeping By The Wall,  And Emerging At Last Round The Angle,  By The Window Of The Best Parlour. Here,  Most Excessively To Mr. Pike's Consternation,  He Came Upon A Lady Doing Exactly What He Had Come To Do--Namely,  Stealthily Listening At The Window To Anything There Might Be To Hear Inside.   The Shrill Scream She Gave When She Found Her Face In Contact With The Wild Intruder,  Might Have Been Heard Over At Dr. Ashton's. Clerk Gum,  Who Had Been Quietly Writing In His Office,  Came Out In Haste,  And Recognized Mrs. Jones,  The Wife Of The Surly Porter At The Station,  And Step-Mother To The Troublesome Young Servant,  Rebecca. Pike Had Totally Disappeared.   Mrs. Jones,  Partly Through Fright,  Partly In Anger Arising From A Long-Standing Grievance,  Avowed The Truth Boldly: She Had Been Listening At The Parlour-Shutters Ever Since She Went Out Of The House Ten Minutes Ago,  And Had Been Set Upon By That Wolf Pike.   "Set Upon!" Exclaimed The Clerk,  Looking Swiftly In All Directions For The Offender.   "I Don't Know What Else You Can Call It,  When A Highway Robber--A Murderer,  If All Tales Be True--Steals Round Upon You Without Warning, And Glares His Eyes Into Yours," Shrieked Mrs. Jones Wrathfully. "And If He Wasn't Barefoot,  Gum,  My Eyes Strangely Deceived Me. I'd Have You And Nancy Take Care Of Your Throats."   She Turned Into The House,  To The Best Parlour,  Where The Clerk's Wife Was Sitting With A Visitor,  Mirrable. Mrs. Gum,  When She Found What The Commotion Had Been About,  Gave A Sharp Cry Of Terror,  And Shook From Head To Foot.   "On Our Premises! Close To Our House! That Dreadful Man! Oh,  Lydia,  Don't You Think You Were Mistaken?"   "Mistaken!" Retorted Mrs. Jones. "That Wild Face Isn't One To Be Mistaken: I Should Like To See Its Fellow In Calne. Why Lord Hartledon Don't Have Him Taken Up On Suspicion Of That Murder,  Is Odd To Me."   "You'd Better Hold Your Tongue About That Suspicion," Interposed Mirrable. "I Have Cautioned You Before,  _I_ Shouldn't Like To Breathe A Word Against A Desperate Man; I Should Go About In Fear That He Might Hear Of It,  And Revenge Himself."   In Came The Clerk. "I Don't See A Sign Of Any One About," He Said; "And I'm Sure Whoever It Was Could Not Have Had Time To Get Away. You Must Have Been Mistaken,  Mrs. Jones."   "Mistaken In What,  Pray?"   "That Any Man Was There. You Got Confused,  And Fancied It,  Perhaps. As To Pike,  He'd Never Dare Come On My Premises,  Whether By Night Or Day. What Were You Doing At The Window?"   "Listening," Defiantly Replied Mrs. Jones. "And Now I'll Just Tell Out What I've Had In My Head This Long While,  Mr. Gum,  And Know The Reason Of Nancy's Slighting Me In The Way She Does. What Secret Has She And Mary Mirrable Got Between Them?"   "Secret?" Repeated The Clerk,  Whilst His Wife Gave A Faint Cry,  And Mirrable Turned Her Calm Face On Mrs. Jones. "Have They A Secret?"   "Yes,  They Have," Raved Mrs. Jones,  Giving Vent To Her Long Pent-Up Emotion. "If They Haven't,  I'm Blind And Deaf. If I Have Come Into Your House Once During The Past Year And Found Mrs. Mirrable In It,  And The Two Sitting And Whispering,  I've Come Ten Times. This Evening I Came In At Dusk; I Turned The Handle Of The Door And Peeped Into The Best Parlour,  And There They Were,  Nose And Knees Together,  Starting Away From Each Other As Soon As They Saw Me,  Nance Giving One Of Her Faint Cries,  And The Two Making Believe To Have Been Talking Of The Weather. It's Always So. And I Want To Know What Secret They Have Got Hold Of,  And Whether I'm Poison,  That I Can't Be Trusted With It."   Jabez Gum Slowly Turned His Eyes On The Two In Question. His Wife Lifted Her Hands In Deprecation At The Idea That She Should Have A Secret: Mirrable Was Laughing.   "Nancy's Secret To-Night,  When You Interrupted Us,  Was Telling Me Of A Dream She Had Regarding Lord Hartledon,  And Of How She Mistook Mr. Elster For Him The Morning He Came Down," Cried The Latter. "And If You Have Really Been Listening At The Shutters Since You Went Out,  Mrs. Jones,  You Should By This Time Know How To Pickle Walnuts In The New Way: For I Declare That Is All Our Conversation Has Been About Since. You Always Were Suspicious,  You Know,  And You Always Will Be."   "Look Here,  Mrs. Jones," Said The Clerk,  Decisively; "I Don't Choose To Have My Shutters Listened At: It Might Give The House A Bad Name,  For Quarrelling,  Or Something Of That Sort. So I'll Trouble You Not To Repeat What You Have Done To-Night,  Or I Shall Forbid Your Coming Here. A Secret,  Indeed!"   "Yes,  A Secret!" Persisted Mrs. Jones. "And If I Don't Come At What It Is One Of These Days,  My Name's Not Lydia Jones. And I'll Tell You Why. It Strikes Me--I May Be Wrong--But It Strikes Me It Concerns Me And My Husband And My Household,  Which Some Folks Are Ever Ready To Interfere With. I'll Take Myself Off Now; And I Would Recommend You,  As A Parting Warning,  To Denounce Pike To The Police For An Attempt At Housebreaking, Before You're Both Murdered In Your Bed. That'll Be The End On't."   She Went Away,  And Clerk Gum Wished He Could Denounce _Her_ To The Police. Mirrable Laughed Again; And Mrs. Gum,  Cowardly And Timid,  Fell Back In Her Chair As One Seized With Ague.   Beyond Giving An Occasional Dole To Mrs. Jones For Her Children--And To Tell The Truth,  She Clothed Them All,  Or They Would Have Gone In Rags--Mirrable Had Shaken Her Cousin Off Long Ago: Which Of Course Did Not Tend To Soothe The Naturally Jealous Spirit Of Mrs. Jones. At Hartledon House She Was Not Welcomed,  And Could Not Go There; But She Watched For The Visits Of Mirrable At The Clerk's,  And Was Certain To Intrude On Those Occasions.   "I'll Find It Out!" She Repeated To Herself,  As She Went Storming Through The Garden-Gate; "I'll Find It Out. And As To That Poacher,  He'd Better Bring His Black Face Near Mine Again!" Chapter 8 (The Wager Boats) Tuesday Morning Rose,  Bright And Propitious: A Contrast To The Two Previous Days Arranged For The Boat-Race. All Was Pleasure,  Bustle, Excitement At Hartledon: But The Coolness That Had Arisen Between The Brothers Was Noticed By Some Of The Guests. Neither Of Them Was Disposed To Take The First Step Towards Reconciliation: And,  Indeed,  A Little Incident That Occurred That Morning Led To Another Ill Word Between Them. An Account That Had Been Standing For More Than Two Years Was Sent In To Lord Hartledon's Steward; It Was For Some Harness,  A Saddle,  A Silver-Mounted Whip,  And A Few Trifles Of That Sort,  Supplied By A Small Tradesman In The Village. Lord Hartledon Protested There Was Nothing Of The Sort Owing; But Upon Inquiry The Debtor Proved To Be Mr. Percival Elster. Lord Hartledon,  Vexed That Any One In The Neighbourhood Should Have Waited So Long For His Money,  Said A Sharp Word On The Score To Percival; And The Latter Retorted As Sharply That It Was No Business Of His. Again Val Was Angry With Himself,  And Thus Gave Vent To His Temper. The Fact Was,  He Had Completely Forgotten The Trifling Debt,  And Was As Vexed As Hartledon That It Should Have Been Allowed To Remain Unpaid: But The Man Had Not Sent Him Any Reminder Whilst He Was Away.   "Pay It To-Day,  Marris," Cried Lord Hartledon To His Steward. "I Won't Have This Sort Of Thing At Calne."   His Tone Was One Of Irritation--Or It Sounded So To The Ears Of His Conscious Brother,  And Val Bit His Lips. After That,  Throughout The Morning,  They Maintained A Studied Silence Towards Each Other; And This Was Observed,  But Was Not Commented On. Val Was Unusually Quiet Altogether: He Was Saying To Himself That He Was Sullen.   The Starting-Hour For The Race Was Three O'clock; But Long Before That Time The Scene Was Sufficiently Animated,  Not To Say Exciting. It Was A Most Lovely Afternoon. Not A Trace Remained Of The Previous Day's Rain; And The River--Wide Just There,  As It Took The Sweeping Curve Of The Point--Was Dotted With These Little Wager Boats. Their Owners For The Time Being,  In Their White Boating-Costume,  Each Displaying His Colours, Were In Highest Spirits; And The Fair Gazers Gathered On The Banks Were Anxious As To The Result. The Favourite Was Lord Hartledon--By Long Odds, As Mr. Shute Grumbled. Had His Lordship Been Known Not To Possess The Smallest Chance,  Nine Of Those Fair Girls Out Of Ten Would,  Nevertheless, Have Betted Upon Him. Some Of Them Were Hoping To Play For A Deeper Stake Than A Pair Of Gloves. A Staff,  From Which Fluttered A Gay Little Flag, Had Been Driven Into The Ground,  Exactly Opposite The House; It Was The Starting And The Winning Point. At A Certain Distance Up The River,  Near To The Mill,  A Boat Was Moored In Mid-Stream: This They Would Row Round, And Come Back Again.   At Three O'clock They Were To Take The Boats; And,  Allowing For Time Being Wasted In The Start,  Might Be In Again And The Race Won In Three-Quarters-Of-An-Hour. But,  As Is Often The Case,  The Time Was Not Adhered To; One Hindrance After Another Occurred; There Was A Great Deal Of Laughing And Joking,  Forgetting Of Things,  And Of Getting Into Order; And At A Quarter To Four They Were Not Off. But All Were Ready At Last, And Most Of The Rowers Were Each In His Little Cockle-Shell. Lord Hartledon Lingered Yet In The Midst Of The Group Of Ladies,  All Clustered Together At One Spot,  Who Were Keeping Him With Their Many Comments And Questions. Each Wore The Colours Of Her Favourite: The Crimson And Purple Predominating,  For They Were Those Of Their Host. Lady Kirton Displayed Her Loyalty In A Conspicuous Manner. She Had An Old Crimson Gauze Skirt On,  Once A Ball-Dress,  With Ends Of Purple Ribbon Floating From It And Fluttering In The Wind; And A Purple Head-Dress With A Crimson Feather. Maude,  In A Spirit Of Perversity,  Displayed A Blue Shoulder-Knot,  Timidly Offered To Her By A Young Oxford Man Who Was Staying There,  Mr. Shute; And Anne Ashton Wore The Colours Given Her By Lord Hartledon.   "I Can't Stay; You'd Keep Me Here All Day: Don't You See They Are Waiting For Me?" He Laughingly Cried,  Extricating Himself From The Throng. "Why, Anne,  My Dear,  Is It You? How Is It I Did Not See You Before? Are You Here Alone?"   She Had Not Long Joined The Crowd,  Having Come Up Late From The Rectory, And Had Been Standing Outside,  For She Never Put Herself Forward Anywhere. Lord Hartledon Drew Her Arm Within His Own For A Moment And Took Her Apart.   "Arthur Came Up With Me: I Don't Know Where He Is Now. Mamma Was Afraid To Venture,  Fearing The Grass Might Be Damp."   "And The Rector _Of Course_ Would Not Countenance Us By Coming," Said Lord Hartledon,  With A Laugh. "I Remember His Prejudices Against Boating Of Old."   "He Is Coming To Dinner."   "As You All Are; Arthur Also To-Day. I Made The Doctor Promise That. A Jolly Banquet We'll Have,  Too,  And Toast The Winner. Anne,  I Just Wanted To Say This To You; Val Is In An Awful Rage With Me For Letting That Matter Get To The Ears Of Your Father,  And I Am Not Pleased With Him; So Altogether We Are Just Now Treating Each Other To A Dose Of Sullenness, And When We Do Speak It's To Growl Like Two Amiable Bears; But It Shall Make No Difference To What I Said Last Week. All Shall Be Made Smooth, Even To The Satisfaction Of Your Father. You May Trust Me."   He Ran Off From Her,  Stepped Into The Skiff,  And Was Taking The Sculls, When He Uttered A Sudden Exclamation,  Leaped Out Again,  And Began To Run With All Speed Towards The House.   "What Is It? Where Are You Going?" Asked The O'moore,  Who Was The Appointed Steward.   "I Have Forgotten--" _What_,  They Did Not Catch; The Word Was Lost On The Air.   "It Is Bad Luck To Turn Back," Called Out Maude. "You Won't Win."   He Was Already Half-Way To The House. A Couple Of Minutes After Entering It He Reappeared Again,  And Came Flying Down The Slopes At Full Speed. Suddenly His Foot Slipped,  And He Fell To The Ground. The Only One Who Saw The Accident Was Mr. O'moore; The General Attention At That Moment Being Concentrated Upon The River. He Hastened Back. Hartledon Was Then Gathering Himself Up,  But Slowly.   "No Damage," Said He; "Only A Bit Of A Wrench To The Foot. Give Me Your Arm For A Minute,  O'moore. This Ground Must Be Slippery From Yesterday's Rain."   Mr. O'moore Held Out His Arm,  And Hartledon Took It. "The Ground Is Not Slippery,  Hart; It's As Dry As A Bone."   "Then What Caused Me To Slip?"   "The Rate You Were Coming At. Had You Not Better Give Up The Contest,  And Rest?"   "Nonsense! My Foot Will Be All Right In The Skiff. Let Us Get On; They'll All Be Out Of Patience."   When It Was Seen That Something Was Amiss With Him,  That He Leaned Rather Heavily On The O'moore,  Eager Steps Pressed Round Him. Lord Hartledon Laughed,  Making Light Of It; He Had Been So Clumsy As To Stumble,  And Had Twisted His Ankle A Little. It Was Nothing.   "Stay On Shore And Give It A Rest," Cried One,  As He Stepped Once More Into The Little Boat. "I Am Sure You Are Hurt."   "Not I. It Will Have Rest In The Boat. Anne," He Said,  Looking Up At Her With His Pleasant Smile,  "Do You Wear My Colours Still?"   She Touched The Knot On Her Bosom,  And Smiled Back To Him,  Her Tone Full Of Earnestness. "I Would Wear Them Always."   And The Countess-Dowager,  In Her Bedecked Flounces And Crimson Feather, Looked As If She Would Like To Throw The Knot And Its Wearer Into The River,  In The Wake Of The Wager Boats. After One Or Two False Starts, They Got Off At Last.   "Do You Think It Seemly,  This Flirtation Of Yours With Lord Hartledon?"   Anne Turned In Amazement. The Face Of The Old Dowager Was Close To Her; The Snub Nose And Rouged Cheeks And False Flaxen Front Looked Ready To Eat Her Up.   "I Have No Flirtation With Lord Hartledon,  Lady Kirton; Or He With Me. When I Was A Child,  And He A Great Boy,  Years Older,  He Loved Me And Petted Me As A Little Sister: I Think He Does The Same Still."   "My Daughter Tells Me You Are Counting Upon One Of The Two. If I Say To You,  Do Not Be Too Sanguine Of Either,  I Speak As A Friend; As Your Mother Might Speak. Lord Hartledon Is Already Appropriated; And Val Elster Is Not Worth Appropriating."   Was She Mad? Anne Ashton Looked At Her,  Really Doubting It. No,  She Was Only Vulgar-Minded,  And Selfish,  And Utterly Impervious To All Sense Of Shame In Her Scheming. Instinctively Anne Moved A Pace Further Off.   "I Do Not Think Lord Hartledon Is Appropriated Yet," Spoke Anne,  In A Little Spirit Of Mischievous Retaliation. "That Some Amongst His Present Guests Would Be Glad To Appropriate Him May Be Likely Enough; But What If He Is Not Willing To Be Appropriated? He Said To Mr. Elster,  Last Week, That They Were Wasting Their Time."   "Who's Mr. Elster?" Cried The Angry Dowager. "What Right Has He To Be At Hartledon,  Poking His Nose Into Everything That Does Not Concern Him?--What Right Has He,  I Ask?"   "The Right Of Being Lord Hartledon's Brother," Carelessly Replied Anne.   "It Is A Right He Had Best Not Presume Upon," Rejoined Lady Kirton. "Brothers Are Brothers As Children; But The Tie Widens As They Grow Up And Launch Out Into Their Different Spheres. There's Not A Man Of All Hartledon's Guests But Has More Right To Be Here Than Val Elster."   "Yet They Are Brothers Still."   "Brothers! I'll Take Care That Val Elster Presumes No More Upon The Tie When Maude Reigns At--"   For Once The Countess-Dowager Caught Up Her Words. She Had Said More Than She Had Meant To Say. Anne Ashton's Calm Sweet Eyes Were Bent Upon Her, Waiting For More.   "It Is True," She Said,  Giving A Shake To The Purple Tails,  And Taking A Sudden Resolution,  "Maude Is To Be His Wife; But I Ought Not To Have Let It Slip Out. It Was Unintentional; And I Throw Myself On Your Honour, Miss Ashton."   "But It Is Not True?" Asked Anne,  Somewhat Perplexed.   "It _Is_ True. Hartledon Has His Own Reasons For Keeping It Quiet At Present; But--You'll See When The Time Comes. Should I Take Upon Myself So Much Rule Here,  But That It Is To Be Maude's Future Home?"   "I Don't Believe It," Cried Anne,  As The Old Story-Teller Sailed Off. "That She Loves Him,  And That Her Mother Is Anxious To Secure Him,  Is Evident; But He Is Truthful And Open,  And Would Never Conceal It. No,  No, Lady Maude! You Are Cherishing A False Hope. You Are Very Beautiful,  But You Are Not Worthy Of Him; And I Should Not Like You For My Sister-In-Law At All. That Dreadful Old Countess-Dowager! How She Dislikes Val,  And How Rude She Is! I'll Try Not To Come In Her Way Again After To-Day,  As Long As They Are At Hartledon."   "What Are You Thinking Of,  Anne?"   "Oh,  Not Much," She Answered,  With A Soft Blush,  For The Questioner Was Mr. Elster. "Do You Think Your Brother Has Hurt Himself Much,  Val?"   "I Didn't Know He Had Hurt Himself At All," Returned Val Rather Coolly, Who Had Been On The River At The Time In Somebody's Skiff,  And Saw Nothing Of The Occurrence. "What Has He Done?"   "He Slipped Down On The Slopes And Twisted His Ankle. I Suppose They Will Be Coming Back Soon."   "I Suppose They Will," Was The Answer. Val Seemed In An Ungracious Mood. He And Mr. O'moore And Young Carteret Were The Only Three Who Had Remained Behind. Anne Asked Val Why He Did Not Go And Look On; And He Answered,  Because He Didn't Want To.   It Was Getting On For Five O'clock When The Boats Were Discerned Returning. How They Clustered On The Banks,  Watching The Excited Rowers, Some Pale With Their Exertions,  Others In A White Heat! Captain Dawkes Was First,  And Was Doing All He Could To Keep So; But When Only A Boat's Length From The Winning-Post Another Shot Past Him,  And Won By Half A Length. It Was The Young Oxonian,  Mr. Shute--Though Indeed It Does Not Much Matter Who It Was,  Save That It Was Not Lord Hartledon.   "Strike Your Colours,  Ladies,  You That Sport The Crimson And Purple!" Called Out A Laughing Voice From One Of The Skiffs. "Oxford Blue Wins."   Lord Hartledon Arrived Last. He Did Not Get Up For Some Minutes After The Rest Were In. In Short,  He Was Distanced.   "Hart Has Hurt His Arm As Well As His Foot," Observed One Of The Others, As He Came Alongside. "That's Why He Got Distanced."   "No,  It Was Not," Dissented Lord Hartledon,  Looking Up From His Skiff At The Crowd Of Fair Faces Bent Down Upon Him. "My Arm Is All Right; It Only Gave Me A Few Twinges When I First Started. My Oar Fouled,  And I Could Not Get Right Again; So,  Finding I Had Lost Too Much Ground,  I Gave Up The Contest. Anne,  Had I Known I Should Disgrace My Colours,  I Would Not Have Given Them To _You_."   "Miss Ashton Loses,  And Maude Wins!" Cried The Countess-Dowager, Executing A Little Dance Of Triumph. "Maude Is The Only One Who Wears The Oxford Blue."   It Was True. The Young Oxonian Was A Retiring And Timid Man,  And None Had Voluntarily Assumed His Colours. But No One Heeded The Countess-Dowager.   "You Are Like A Child,  Hartledon,  Denying That Your Arm's Damaged!" Exclaimed Captain Dawkes. "I Know It Is: I Could See It By The Way You Struck Your Oar All Along."   What Feeling Is It In Man That Prompts Him To Disclaim Physical Pain?--Make Light Of Personal Injury? Lord Hartledon's Ankle Was Swelling,  At The Bottom Of The Boat; And Without The Slightest Doubt His Arm _Was_ Paining Him,  Although Perhaps At The Moment Not Very Considerably. But He Maintained His Own Assertions,  And Protested His Arm Was As Sound As The Best Arm Present. "I Could Go Over The Work Again With Pleasure," Cried He.   "Nonsense,  Hart! You Could Not."   "And I _Will_ Go Over It," He Added,  Warming With The Opposition. "Who'll Try His Strength With Me? There's Plenty Of Time Before Dinner."   "I Will," Eagerly Spoke Young Carteret,  Who Had Been,  As Was Remarked, One Of Those On Land,  And Was Wild To Be Handling The Oars. "If Dawkes Will Let Me Have His Skiff,  I'll Bet You Ten To Five You Are Distanced Again,  Hartledon."   Perhaps Lord Hartledon Had Not Thought His Challenge Would Be Taken Seriously. But When He Saw The Eager,  Joyous Look Of The Boy Carteret--He Was Not Yet Nineteen--The Flushed Pleasure Of The Beardless Face,  He Would Not Have Retracted It For The World. He Was Just As Good-Natured As Percival Elster.   "Dawkes Will Let You Have His Skiff,  Carteret."   Captain Dawkes Was Exceedingly Glad To Be Rid Of It. Good Boatman Though He Was,  He Rarely Cared To Spend His Strength Superfluously,  When Nothing Was To Be Gained By It,  And Had No Fancy To Row His Skiff Back To Its Moorings,  As Most Of The Others Were Already Doing With Theirs. He Leaped Out.   "Any One But You,  Hartledon,  Would Be Glad To Come Out Of That Tilting Thing,  And Enjoy A Rest,  And Get Your Face Cool," Cried The Countess-Dowager.   "I Dare Say They Might,  Ma'am. I'm Afraid I Am Given To Obstinacy; Always Was. Be Quick,  Carteret."   Mr. Carteret Was Hastily Stripping Himself Of His Coat,  And Any Odds And Ends Of Attire He Deemed Superfluous. "One Moment,  Hartledon; Only One Moment," Came The Joyous Response.   "And You'll Come Home With Your Arm And Your Ankle Like Your Colours, Hartledon--Crimson And Purple," Screamed The Dowager. "And You'll Be Laid Up,  And Go On Perhaps To Locked Jaw; And Then You'll Expect Me To Nurse You!"   "I Shall Expect Nothing Of The Sort,  Ma'am,  I Pledge You My Word; I'll Nurse Myself. All Ready,  Carteret?"   "All Ready. Same Point As Before,  Hart?"   "Same Point: Round The Boat And Home Again."   "And It's Ten Sovs. To Five,  Hart?"   "All Right. You'll Lose,  Carteret."   Carteret Laughed. He Saw The Five Sovereigns As Surely In His Possession As He Saw The Sculls In His Hands. There Was No Trouble With The Start This Time,  And They Were Off At Once.   Lord Hartledon Took The Lead. He Was Spurring His Strength To The Uttermost: Perhaps Out Of Bravado; That He Might Show Them Nothing Was The Matter With His Arm. But Mr. Carteret Gained On Him; And As They Turned The Point And Went Out Of Sight,  The Young Man's Boat Was The Foremost.   The Race Had Been Kept--As The Sporting Men Amongst Them Styled It--Dark. Not An Inkling Of It Had Been Suffered To Get Abroad,  Or,  As Lord Hartledon Had Observed,  They Should Have The Banks Swarming. The Consequence Was,  That Not More Than Half-A-Dozen Curious Idlers Had Assembled: Those Were On The Opposite Side,  And Had Now Gone Down With The Boats To Calne. No Spectators,  Either On The River Or The Shore, Attended This Lesser Contest: Lord Hartledon And Mr. Carteret Had It All To Themselves.   And Meanwhile,  During The Time Lord Hartledon Had Remained At Rest In His Skiff Under The Winning Flag,  Percival Elster Never Addressed One Word To Him. There He Stood,  On The Edge Of The Bank; But Not A Syllable Spoke He,  Good,  Bad,  Or Indifferent.   Miss Ashton Was Looking For Her Brother,  And Might Just As Well Have Looked For A Needle In A Bottle Of Hay. Arthur Was Off Somewhere.   "You Need Not Go Home Yet,  Anne," Said Val.   "I Must. I Have To Dress For Dinner. It Is All To Be Very Smart To-Night, You Know," She Said,  With A Merry Laugh.   "With Shute In The Post Of Honour. Who'd Have Thought That Awkward,  Quiet Fellow Would Win? I Will See You Home,  Anne,  If You Must Go."   Miss Ashton Coloured Vividly With Embarrassment. In The Present State Of Affairs,  She Did Not Know Whether That Might Be Permitted: Poor Val Was Out Of Favour At The Rectory. He Detected The Feeling,  And It Tended To Vex Him More And More.   "Nonsense,  Anne! The Veto Has Not Yet Been Interposed,  And They Can't Kill You For Allowing My Escort. Stay Here If You Like: If You Go,  I Shall See You Home."   It Was Quite Imperative That She Should Go,  For Dinner At Hartledon Was That Evening Fixed For Seven O'clock,  And There Would Be Little Enough Time To Dress And Return Again. They Set Out,  Walking Side By Side. Anne Told Him Of What Lord Hartledon Had Said To Her That Day; And Val Coloured With Shame At The Sullenness He Had Displayed,  And His Heart Went Into A Glow Of Repentance. Had He Met His Brother Then,  He Had Clasped His Hand,  And Poured Forth His Contrition.   He Met Some One Else Instead,  Almost Immediately. It Was Dr. Ashton, Coming For Anne. Percival Was Not Wanted Now: Was Not Invited To Continue His Escort. A Cold,  Civil Word Or Two Passed,  And Val Struck Across The Grove Into The High-Road,  And Returned To Hartledon.   He Was About To Turn In At The Lodge-Gates With His Usual Greeting To Mrs. Capper When His Attention Was Caught By A Figure Coming Down The Avenue. A Man In A Long Coat,  His Face Ornamented With Red Whiskers. It Required No Second Glance For Recognition. Whiskers And Coat Proclaimed Their Owner At Once; And If Ever Val Elster's Heart Leaped Into His Mouth,  It Certainly Leaped Then.   He Went On,  Instead Of Turning In; Quietly,  As If He Were Only A Stranger Enjoying An Evening Stroll Up The Road; But The Moment He Was Past The Gates He Set Off At Breakneck Speed,  Not Heeding Where. That The Man Was There To Arrest Him,  He Felt As Sure As He Had Ever Felt Of Anything In This World; And In His Perplexity He Began Accusing Every One Of Treachery,  Lord Hartledon And Pike In Particular.   The River At The Back In This Part Took A Sweeping Curve,  The Road Kept Straight; So That To Arrive At A Given Point,  The One Would Be More Quickly Traversed Than The Other. On And On Went Val Elster; And As Soon As An Opening Allowed,  He Struck Into The Brushwood On The Right, Intending To Make His Way Back By The River To Hartledon.   But Not Yet. Not Until The Shades Of Night Should Fall On The Earth: He Would Have A Better Chance Of Getting Away From That Shark In The Darkness Than By Daylight. He Propped His Back Against A Tree And Waited, Hating Himself All The Time For His Cowardice. With All His Scrapes And Dilemmas,  He Had Never Been Reduced To This Sort Of Hiding.   And His Pursuer Had Struck Into The Wood After Him,  Passed Straight Through It,  Though With Some Little Doubt And Difficulty,  And Was Already By The River-Side,  Getting There Just As Lord Hartledon Was Passing In His Skiff. Long As This May Have Seemed In Telling,  It Took Only A Short Time To Accomplish; Still Lord Hartledon Had Not Made Quick Way,  Or He Would Have Been Further On His Course In The Race.   Would The Sun Ever Set?--Daylight Ever Pass? Val Thought _Not_,  In His Impatience; And He Ventured Out Of His Shelter Very Soon,  And Saw For His Reward--The Long Coat And Red Whiskers By The River-Side,  Their Owner Conversing With A Man. Val Went Further Away,  Keeping The Direction Of The Stream: The Brushwood Might No Longer Be Safe. He Did Not Think They Had Seen Him: The Man He Dreaded Had His Back To Him,  The Other His Face. And That Other Was Pike.     Chapter 9 (Waiting For Dinner) Dinner At Hartledon Had Been Ordered For Seven O'clock. It Was Beyond That Hour When Dr. Ashton Arrived,  For He Had Been Detained--A Clergyman's Time Is Not Always Under His Own Control. Anne And Arthur Were With Him,  But Not Mrs. Ashton. He Came In,  Ready With An Apology For His Tardiness,  But Found He Need Not Offer It; Neither Lord Hartledon Nor His Brother Having Yet Appeared.   "Hartledon And That Boy Carteret Have Not Returned Home Yet," Said The Countess-Dowager,  In Her Fiercest Tones,  For She Liked Her Dinner More Than Any Other Earthly Thing,  And Could Not Brook Being Kept Waiting For It. "And When They Do Come,  They'll Keep Us Another Half-Hour Dressing."   "I Beg Your Ladyship's Pardon--They Have Come," Interposed Captain Dawkes. "Carteret Was Going Into His Room As I Came Out Of Mine."   "Time They Were," Grumbled The Dowager. "They Were Not In Five Minutes Ago,  For I Sent To Ask."   "Which Of The Two Won The Race?" Inquired Lady Maude Of Captain Dawkes.   "I Don't Think Carteret Did," He Replied,  Laughing. "He Seemed As Sulky As A Bear,  And Growled Out That There Had Been No Race,  For Hartledon Had Played Him A Trick."   "What Did He Mean?"   "Goodness Knows."   "I Hope Hartledon Upset Him," Charitably Interrupted The Dowager. "A Ducking Would Do That Boy Good; He Is Too Forward By Half."   There Was More Waiting. The Countess-Dowager Flounced About In Her Pink Satin Gown; But It Did Not Bring The Loiterers Any The Sooner. Lady Maude--Perverse Still,  But Beautiful--Talked In Whispers To The Hero Of The Day,  Mr. Shute; Wearing A Blue-Silk Robe And A Blue Wreath In Her Hair. Anne,  Adhering To The Colours Of Lord Hartledon,  Though He Had Been Defeated,  Was In A Rich,  Glistening White Silk,  With Natural Flowers,  Red And Purple,  On Its Body,  And The Same In Her Hair. Her Sweet Face Was Sunny Again,  Her Eyes Were Sparkling: A Word Dropped By Dr. Ashton Had Given Her A Hope That,  Perhaps,  Percival Elster Might Be Forgiven Sometime.   He Was The First Of The Culprits To Make His Appearance. The Dowager Attacked Him Of Course. What Did He Mean By Keeping Dinner Waiting?   Val Replied That He Was Late In Coming Home; He Had Been Out. As To Keeping Dinner Waiting,  It Seemed That Lord Hartledon Was Doing That: He Didn't Suppose They'd Have Waited For Him.   He Spoke Tartly,  As If Not On Good Terms With Himself Or The World. Anne Ashton,  Near To Whom He Had Drawn,  Looked Up At Him With A Charming Smile.   "Things May Brighten,  Percival," She Softly Breathed.   "It's To Be Hoped They Will," Gloomily Returned Val. "They Look Dark Enough Just Now."   "What Have You Done To Your Face?" She Whispered.   "To My Face? Nothing That I Know Of."   "The Forehead Is Red,  As If It Had Been Bruised,  Or Slightly Grazed."   Val Put His Hand Up To His Forehead. "I Did Feel Something When I Washed Just Now," He Remarked Slowly,  As Though Doubting Whether Anything Was Wrong Or Not. "It Must Have Been Done--When I--Struck Against That Tree," He Added,  Apparently Taxing His Recollection.   "How Was That?"   "I Was Running In The Dusk,  And Did Not Notice The Branch Of A Tree In My Way. It's Nothing,  Anne,  And Will Soon Go Off."   Mr. Carteret Came In,  Looking Just As Val Elster Had Done--Out Of Sorts. Questions Were Showered Upon Him As To The Fate Of The Race; But The Dowager's Voice Was Heard Above All.   "This Is A Pretty Time To Make Your Appearance,  Sir! Where's Lord Hartledon?"   "In His Room,  I Suppose. Hartledon Never Came," He Added In Sulky Tones, As He Turned From Her To The Rest. "I Rowed On,  And On,  Thinking How Nicely I Was Distancing Him,  And Got Down,  The Mischief Knows Where. Miles,  Nearly,  I Must Have Gone."   "But Why Did You Pass The Turning-Point?" Asked One.   "There Was No Turning-Point," Returned Mr. Carteret; "Some Confounded Meddler Must Have Unmoored The Boat As Soon As The First Race Was Over, And I,  Like An Idiot,  Rowed On,  Looking For It. All At Once It Came Into My Mind What A Way I Must Have Gone,  And I Turned And Waited. And Might Have Waited Till Now," He Added,  "For Hart Never Came."   "Then His Arm Must Have Failed Him," Exclaimed Captain Dawkes. "I Thought It Was All Wrong."   "It Wasn't Right,  For I Soon Shot Past Him," Returned Young Carteret. "But Hart Knew The Spot Where The Boat Ought To Have Been,  Though I Didn't; What He Did,  I Suppose,  Was To Clear Round It Just As Though It Had Been There,  And Come In Home Again. It Will Be An Awful Shame If He Takes An Unfair Advantage Of It,  And Claims The Race."   "Hartledon Never Took An Unfair Advantage In His Life," Spoke Up Val Elster,  In Clear,  Decisive Tones. "You Need Not Be Afraid,  Carteret. I Dare Say His Arm Failed Him."   "Well,  He Might Have Hallooed When He Found It Failing,  And Not Have Suffered Me To Row All That Way For Nothing," Retorted Young Carteret. "Not A Trace Could I See Of Him As I Came Back; He Had Hastened Home, I Expect,  To Shut Himself Up In His Room With His Damaged Arm And Foot."   "I'll See What He's Doing There," Said Val.   He Went Out; But Returned Immediately.   "We Are All Under A Mistake," Was His Greeting. "Hartledon Has Not Returned Yet. His Servant Is In His Room Waiting For Him."   "Then What Do You Mean By Telling Stories?" Demanded The Countess-Dowager,  Turning Sharply On Mr. Carteret.   "Good Heavens,  Ma'am! You Need Not Begin Upon Me!" Returned Young Carteret. "I Have Told No Stories. I Said Hart Let Me Go On,  And Never Came On Himself; If That's A Story,  I'll Swallow Dawkes's Skiff And The Sculls Too."   "You Said He Was In His Room. You Know You Did."   "I Said I Supposed So. It's Usual For A Man To Go There,  I Believe,  To Get Ready For Dinner," Added Young Carteret,  Always Ripe For A Wordy War, In His Antipathy To The Countess-Dowager.   "_You_ Said He Had Come In;" And The Angry Woman Faced Round On Captain Dawkes. "You Saw Them Going Into Their Rooms,  You Said. Which Was It--You Did,  Or You Didn't?"   "I Did See Carteret Make His Appearance; And Assumed That Lord Hartledon Had Gone On To His Room," Replied The Captain,  Suppressing A Laugh. "I Am Sorry To Have Misled Your Ladyship. I Dare Say Hart Is About The House Somewhere."   "Then Why Doesn't He Appear?" Stormed The Dowager. "Pretty Behaviour This,  To Keep Us All Waiting Dinner. I Shall Tell Him So. Val Elster, Ring For Hedges."   Val Rang The Bell. "Has Lord Hartledon Come In?" He Asked,  When The Butler Appeared.   "No,  Sir."   "And Dinner's Spoiling,  Isn't It,  Hedges?" Broke In The Dowager.   "It Won't Be Any The Better For Waiting,  My Lady."   "No. I Must Exercise My Privilege And Order It Served. At Once,  Hedges, Do You Hear? If Hartledon Grumbles,  I Shall Tell Him It Serves Him Right."   "But Where Can Hartledon Be?" Cried Captain Dawkes.   "That's What I Am Wondering," Said Val. "He Can't Be On The River All This Time; Carteret Would Have Seen Him In Coming Home."   A Strangely Grave Shade,  Looking Almost Like A Prevision Of Evil,  Arose To Dr. Ashton's Face. "I Trust Nothing Has Happened To Him," He Exclaimed. "Where Did You Part Company With Him,  Mr. Carteret?"   "That's More Than I Can Tell You,  Sir. You Must Have Seen--At Least--No, You Were Not There; But Those Looking On Must Have Seen Me Get Ahead Of Him Within View Of The Starting-Point; Soon After That I Lost Sight Of Him. The River Winds,  You Know; And Of Course I Thought He Was Coming On Behind Me. Very Daft Of Me,  Not To Divine That The Boat Had Been Removed!"   "Do You Think He Passed The Mill?"   "The Mill?"   "That Place Where The River Forms What Might Almost Be Called A Miniature Harbour. A Mill Is Built There Which The Stream Serves. You Could Not Fail To See It."   "I Remember Now. Yes,  I Saw The Mill. What Of It?"   "Did Lord Hartledon Pass It?"   "How Should I Know!" Cried The Boy. "I Had Lost Sight Of Him Ages Before That."   "The Current Is Extremely Rapid There," Observed Dr. Ashton. "If He Found His Arm Failing,  He Might Strike Down To The Mill And Land There; And His Ankle May Be Keeping Him A Prisoner."   "And That's What It Is!" Exclaimed Val.   They Were Crossing The Hall To The Dining-Room. Without The Slightest Ceremony,  The Countess-Dowager Pushed Herself Foremost And Advanced To The Head Of The Table.   "I Shall Occupy This Seat In My Nephew's Absence," Said She. "Dr. Ashton, Will You Be So Good As To Take The Foot? There's No One Else."   "Nay,  Madam; Though Lord Hartledon May Not Be Here,  Mr. Elster Is."   She Had Actually Forgotten Val; And Would Have Liked To Ignore Him Now That He Was Recalled To Remembrance; But That Might Not Be. As Much Contempt As Could Be Expressed In Her Face Was There,  As She Turned Her Snub Nose And Small Round Eyes Defiantly Upon That Unoffending Younger Brother.   "I Was Going To Request You To Take It,  Sir," Said Percival,  In Low Tones,  To Dr. Ashton. "I Shall Go Off In The Pony-Carriage For Edward. He Must Think We Are Neglecting Him."   "Very Well. I Hate These Rowing Matches," Heartily Added The Rector.   "What A Curious Old Fish That Parson Must Be!" Ejaculated Young Carteret To His Next Neighbour. "He Says He Doesn't Like Boating."   It Happened To Be Arthur Ashton,  And The Lad's Brow Lowered. "You Are Speaking Of My Father," He Said. "But I'll Tell You Why He Does Not Like It. He Had A Brother Once,  A Good Deal Older Than Himself; They Had No Father,  And Arthur--That Was The Elder--Was Very Fond Of Him: There Were Only Those Two. He Took Him Out In A Boat One Day,  And There Was An Accident: The Eldest Was Drowned,  The Little One Saved. Do You Wonder That My Father Has Dreaded Boating Ever Since? He Seems To Have The Same Sort Of Dread Of It That A Child Who Has Been Frightened By Its Nurse Has Of The Dark."   "By Jove! That Was A Go,  Though!" Was The Sympathising Comment Of Mr. Carteret.   The Doctor Said Grace,  And Dinner Proceeded. It Was Not Half Over When Mr. Elster Came In,  In His Light Overcoat. Walking Straight Up To The Table,  He Stood By It,  His Face Wearing A Blank,  Perplexed Look. A Momentary Silence Of Expectation,  And Then Many Tongues Spoke Together.   "Where's Your Brother? Where's Lord Hartledon? Has He Not Come?"   "I Don't Know Where He Is," Answered Val. "I Was In Hopes He Had Reached Home Before Me,  But I Find He Has Not. I Can't Make It Out At All."   "Did He Land At The Mill?" Asked Dr. Ashton.   "Yes,  He Must Have Done So,  For The Skiff Is Moored There."   "Then He's All Right," Cried The Doctor; And There Was A Strangely-Marked Sound Of Relief In His Tones.   "Oh,  He Is All Right," Confidently Asserted Percival. "The Only Question Is,  Where He Can Be. The Miller Was Out This Afternoon,  And Left His Place Locked Up; So That Hartledon Could Not Get In,  And Had Nothing For It But To Start Home With His Lameness,  Or Sit Down On The Bank Until Some One Found Him."   "He Must Have Set Off To Walk."   "I Should Think So. But Where Has He Walked To?" Added Val. "I Drove Slowly Home,  Looking On Either Side Of The Road,  But Could See Nothing Of Him."   "What Should Bring Him On The Side Of The Road?" Demanded The Dowager. "Do You Think He Would Turn Tramp,  And Take His Seat On A Heap Of Stones? Where Do You Get Your Ideas From?"   "From Common Sense,  Ma'am. If He Set Out To Walk,  And His Foot Failed Him Half-Way,  There'd Be Nothing For It But To Sit Down And Wait. But He Is _Not_ On The Road: That Is The Curious Part Of The Business."   "Would He Come The Other Way?"   "Hardly. It Is So Much Further By The River Than By The Road."   "You May Depend Upon It That Is What He Has Done," Said Dr. Ashton. "He Might Think He Should Meet Some Of You That Way,  And Get An Arm To Help Him."   "I Declare I Never Thought Of That," Exclaimed Val,  His Face Brightening. "There He Is,  No Doubt; Perched Somewhere Between This And The Mill,  Like Patience On A Monument,  Unable To Put Foot To The Ground."   He Turned Away. Some Of The Men Offered To Accompany Him: But He Declined Their Help,  And Begged Them To Go On With Their Dinner,  Saying He Would Take Sufficient Servants With Him,  Even Though They Had To Carry Hartledon.   So Mr. Elster Went,  Taking Servants And Lanterns; For In Some Parts Of This Road The Trees Overhung,  And Rendered It Dark. But They Could Not Find Lord Hartledon. They Searched,  And Shouted,  And Waved Their Lanterns: All In Vain. Very Much Perplexed Indeed Did Val Elster Look When He Got Back Again.   "Where In The World Can He Have Gone To?" Angrily Questioned The Countess-Dowager; And She Glared From Her Seat At The Head Of The Table On The Offender Val,  As She Asked It. "I Must Say All This Is Most Unseemly,  And Hartledon Ought To Be Brought To His Senses For Causing It. I Suppose He Has Taken Himself Off To A Surgeon's."   It Was Possible,  But Unlikely,  As None Knew Better Than Val Elster. To Get To The Surgeon's He Would Have To Pass His Own House,  And Would Be More Likely To Go In,  And Send For Mr. Hillary,  Than Walk On With A Disabled Foot. Besides,  If He Had Gone To The Surgeon's,  He Would Not Stay There All This Time. "I Don't Know What To Do," Said Percival Elster; And There Was The Same Blank,  Perplexed Look On His Face That Was Observed The First Time He Came In. "I Don't Much Like The Appearance Of Things."   "Why,  You Don't Think Anything's Wrong With Him!" Exclaimed Young Carteret,  Starting-Up With An Alarmed Face. "He's Safe To Turn Up,  Isn't He?"   "Of Course He Will Turn Up," Answered Val,  In A Dreamy Tone. "Only This Uncertainty,  As To Where To Look For Him,  Is Not Pleasant."   Dr. Ashton Motioned Val To His Side. "Are You Fearing An Accident?" He Asked In Low Tones.   "No,  Sir."   "I Am. That Current By The Mill Is So Fearfully Strong; And If Your Brother Had Not The Use Of His One Arm--And The Boat Was Drawn Onwards, Beyond His Control--And Upset--"   Dr. Ashton Paused. Val Elster Looked Rather Surprised.   "How Could It Upset,  Sir? The Skiffs Are As Safe As This Floor. I Don't Fear That In The Least: What I Do Fear Is That Edward May Be In Some Out-Of-The-Way Nook,  Insensible From Pain,  And Won't Be Found Until Daylight. Fancy,  A Whole Night Out Of Doors,  In That State! He Might Be Half-Dead With Cold By The Morning."   Dr. Ashton Shook His Head In Dissent. His Dislike Of Boating Seemed Just Now To Be Rising Into Horror.   "What Are You Going To Do Now,  Elster?" Inquired Captain Dawkes.   "Go To The Mill Again,  I Think,  And Find Out If Any One Saw Hartledon Leave The Skiff,  And Which Way He Took. One Of The Servants Can Run Down To Hillary's The While."   Dr. Ashton Rose,  Bowing For Permission To Lady Kirton; And The Gentlemen With One Accord Rose With Him,  The Same Purpose In The Mind Of All--That Of More Effectually Scouring The Ground Between The Mill And Hartledon. The Countess-Dowager Felt That She Should Like To Box The Ears Of Every One Of Them. The Idea Of Danger In Connection With Lord Hartledon Had Not Yet Penetrated To Her Brain.   At This Moment,  Before They Had Left The Room,  There Arose A Strange Wild Sound From Without--Almost An Unearthly Sound--That Seemed To Come From Several Voices,  And To Be Bearing Round The House From The River-Path. Mrs. O'moore Put Down Her Knife And Fork,  And Rose Up With A Startled Cry.   "There's Nothing To Be Alarmed At," Said The Dowager. "It Is Those Irish Harvesters. I Know Their Horrid Voices,  And Dare Say They Are Riotously Drunk. Hartledon Ought To Put Them In Prison For It."   The Sounds Died Away Into Silence. Mrs. O'moore Took Her Hands From Her Eyes,  Where They Had Been Pressed. "Don't You Know What It Is,  Lady Kirton? It Is The Irish Death-Wail!"   It Rose Again,  Louder Than Before,  For Those From Whom It Came Were Nearing The House--A Horribly Wailing Sound,  Ringing Out In The Silence Of The Night. Mrs. O'moore Crouched Into Her Chair Again,  And Hid Her Terrified Face. She Was Not Irish,  And Had Never Heard That Sound But Once,  And That Was When Her Child Died.   "She Is Right," Cried Her Husband,  The O'moore; "That Is The Death-Wail. Hark! It Is For A Chieftain; They Mourn The Loss Of One High In The Land. And--They Are Coming Here! Oh,  Elster! Can Death Have Overtaken Your Brother?"   The Gentlemen Had Stood Spell-Bound,  Listening To The Sound,  Their Faces A Mixture Of Surprise And Credulity. At The Words They Rushed Out With One Accord,  And The Women Stole After Them With Trembling Steps And Blanched Lips.   "If Ever I Saw Such Behaviour In All My Existence!" Irascibly Spoke The Countess-Dowager,  Who Was Left Alone In Her Glory. "The Death-Wail, Indeed! The Woman's A Fool. I'll Get Those Irishmen Transported,  If I Can."   In The Hall The Servants Were Gathered,  Cowering Almost As The Ladies Did. Their Master Had Flown Down The Hall-Steps,  And The Labourers Were Coming Steadily Up To It,  Bearing Something In Procession. Dr. Ashton Came Back As Quickly As He Had Gone Out,  Extending His Arms Before Him.   "Ladies,  I Pray You Go In," He Urged,  In Strange Agitation. "You Must Not Meet These--These Irishmen. Go Back To The Dining-Room,  I Entreat You, And Remain In It."   But The Curiosity Of Women--Who Can Suppress It? They Were As Though They Heard Not,  And Were Pressing On To The Door,  When Val Elster Dashed In With A White Face.   "Back,  All Of You! You Must Not Stay Here. This Is No Place Or Sight For You. Anne," He Added,  Seizing Miss Ashton's Hand In Peremptory Entreaty, "You At Least Know How To Be Calm. Get Them Away,  And Keep Them Out Of The Hall."   "Tell Me The Worst," She Implored. "I Will Indeed Try To Be Calm. Who Is It Those Men Are Bringing Here?"   "My Dear Brother--My Dead Brother. Madam," He Continued To The Countess-Dowager,  Who Had Now Come Out,  Dinner-Napkin In Hand,  Her Curls All Awry,  "You Must Not Come Here. Go Back To The Dining-Room,  All Of You."   "Not Come Here! Go Back To The Dining-Room!" Echoed The Outraged Dowager. "Don't Take Quite So Much Upon Yourself,  Val Elster. The House Is Lord Hartledon's,  And I Am A Free Agent In It."   A Shriek--An Agonized Shriek--Broke From Lady Maude. In Her Suspense She Had Stolen Out Unperceived,  And Lifted The Covering Of The Rude Bier,  Now Resting On The Steps. The Rays Of The Hall-Lamp Fell On The Face,  And Maude,  In Her Anguish,  With A Succession Of Hysterical Sobs,  Came Shivering Back To Sink Down At Her Mother's Feet.   "Oh,  My Love--My Love! Dead! Dead!"   The Only One Who Heard The Words Was Anne Ashton. The Countess-Dowager Caught The Last.   "Who Is Dead? What Is This Mystery?" She Asked,  Unceremoniously Lifting Her Satin Dress,  With The Intention Of Going Out To See,  And Her Head Began To Nod--Perhaps With Apprehension--As If She Had The Palsy. "You Want To Force Us Away. No,  Thank You; Not Until I've Come To The Bottom Of This."   "Let Us Tell Them," Cried Young Carteret,  In His Boyish Impulse,  "And Then Perhaps They Will Go. An Accident Has Happened To Lord Hartledon, Ma'am,  And These Men Have Brought Him Home."   "He--_He's_ Not Dead?" Asked The Old Woman,  In Changed Tones.   Alas! Poor Lord Hartledon Was Indeed Dead. The Irish Labourers,  In Passing Near The Mill,  Had Detected The Body In The Water; Rescued It, And Brought It Home.   The Countess-Dowager's Grief Commenced Rather Turbulently. She Talked And Shrieked,  And Danced Round,  Exactly As If She Had Been A Wild Indian. It Was So Intensely Ludicrous,  That The Occupants Of The Hall Gazed In Silence.   "Here To-Day,  And Gone To-Morrow!" She Sobbed. "Oh--O--O--O--O--O--Oh!"   "Nay," Cried Young Carteret,  "Here To-Day,  And Gone _Now_. Poor Fellow! It Is Awful."   "And You Have Done It!" She Cried,  Turning Her Grief Upon The Astonished Boy. "You! What Business Had You To Allure Him Off Again In That Miserable Boat,  Once He Had Got Home?"   "Don't Trample Me Down,  Please," He Indignantly Returned; "I Am As Cut Up As You Can Be. Hedges,  Hadn't You Better Get Lady Kirton's Maid Here? I Think She Is Going Mad."   "And Now The House Is Without A Master," She Bemoaned,  Returning To Her Own Griefs And Troubles,  "And I Have All The Arrangements Thrown Upon Myself."   "The House Is Not Without A Master," Said Young Carteret,  Who Seemed Inclined To Have The Last Word. "If One Master Has Gone From It,  Poor Fellow! There's Another To Replace Him; And He Is At Your Elbow Now."   He At Her Elbow Was Val Elster. Lady Kirton Gathered In The Sense Of The Words,  And Gave A Cry; A Prolonged Cry Of Absolute Dismay.   "_He_ Can't Be Its Master."   "I Should Say He _Is_,  Ma'am. At Any Rate He Is Now Lord Hartledon."   She Looked From One To The Other In Helpless Doubt. It Was A Contingency That Had Never So Much As Occurred To Her. Had She Wanted Confirmation, The Next Moment Brought It To Her From The Lips Of The Butler.   "Hedges," Called Out Percival Sternly,  In His Embarrassment And Grief, "Open The Dining-Room Door. We _Must_ Get The Hall Cleared."   "The Door Is Open,  My Lord."   "_He_ Lord Hartledon!" Shrieked The Countess-Dowager,  "Why,  I Was Going To Recommend His Brother To Ship Him Off To Canada For Life."   It Was Altogether An Unseemly Scene At Such A Time. But Almost Everything The Countess-Dowager Of Kirton Did Was Unseemly. Chapter 10 (Mr. Pike's Visit) Percival Elster Was In Truth Earl Of Hartledon. By One Of Those Unexpected Calamities,  Which Are Often Inexplicable--And Which Most Certainly Was So As Yet In The Present Instance--A Promising Young Life Had Been Snapped Asunder,  And Another Reigned In His Place. In One Short Hour Val Elster,  Who Had Scarcely Cross Or Coin To Call His Own,  Had Been Going In Danger Of Arrest From One Moment To Another,  Had Become A Peer Of The Realm And A Man Of Wealth.   As They Laid The Body Down In A Small Room Opening From The Hall,  And His Late Companions And Guests Crowded Around In Awe-Struck Silence,  There Was One Amidst Them Who Could Not Control His Grief And Emotion. It Was Poor Val. Pushing Aside The Others,  Never Heeding Them In His Bitter Sorrow,  He Burst Into Passionate Sobs As He Leaned Over The Corpse. And None Of Them Thought The Worse Of Val For It.   "Oh,  Percival! How Did It Happen?"   The Speaker Was Dr. Ashton. Little Less Affected Himself,  He Clasped The Young Man's Hand In Token Of Heartfelt Sympathy.   "I Cannot Think _How_ It Could Have Happened," Replied Percival,  When Able To Control His Feelings Sufficiently To Speak. "It Seems Awfully Strange To Me--Mysteriously So."   "If He Found Himself Going Wrong,  Why Didn't He Shout Out?" Asked Young Carteret,  With A Rueful Face. "I Couldn't Have Helped Hearing Him."   It Was A Question That Was Passing Through The Minds Of All; Was Being Whispered About. How Could It Have Happened? The Body Presented The Usual Appearance Of Death From Drowning; But Close To The Left Temple Was A Wound,  And The Face Was Otherwise Disfigured. It Must Have Been Done, They Thought,  By Coming Into Contact With Something Or Other In The Water; Perhaps The Skiff Itself. Arm And Ankle Were Both Much Swollen.   Nothing Was Certainly Known As Yet Of Lord Hartledon From The Time Mr. Carteret Parted Company With Him,  To The Time When The Body Was Found. It Appeared That These Irish Labourers Were Going Home From Their Work, Singing As They Went,  Their Road Lying Past The Mill,  When They Were Spoken To By The Miller's Boy. He Stood On The Species Of Estrade Which The Miller Had Placed There For His Own Convenience,  Bending Down As Far As His Young Head And Shoulders Could Reach,  And Peering Into The Water Attentively. "I Think I See Some'at In The Stream," Quoth He,  And The Men Stopped; And After A Short Time,  Proceeded To Search. It Proved To Be The Dead Body Of Lord Hartledon,  Caught Amongst The Reeds.   It Was Rather A Curious Coincidence That Percival Elster And His Servants In The Last Search Should Have Heard The Voices Of The Labourers Singing In The Distance. But They Were Too Far Off On Their Return To Hartledon To Be Within Hearing When The Men Found The Body.   The News Spread; People Came Up From Far And Near,  And Hartledon Was Besieged. Mr. Hillary,  The Surgeon,  Gave It As His Opinion That The Wound On The Temple,  No Doubt Caused Before Death,  Had Rendered Lord Hartledon Insensible,  And Unable To Extricate Himself From The Water. The Mill And Cottage Were Built On What Might Be Called An Arm Of The River. Lord Hartledon Had No Business There At All; But The Current Was Very Strong; And If,  As Was Too Probable,  He Had Become Almost Disabled,  He Might Have Drifted To It Without Being Able To Help Himself; Or He Might Have Been Making For It,  Intending To Land And Rest In The Cottage Until Help Could Be Summoned To Convey Him Home. How He Got Into The Water Was Not Known. Once In The Water,  The Blow Was Easy Enough To Receive; He Might Have Struck Against The Estrade.   There Is Almost Sure To Be Some Miserable Coincidence In These Cases To Render Them Doubly Unfortunate. For Three Weeks Past,  As The Miller Testified--A Respectable Man Named Floyd--His Mill Had Not Been Deserted; Some One,  Man,  Boy,  Or Woman,  Had Always Been There. On This Afternoon It Was Closed,  Mill And Cottage Too,  And All Were Away. What Might Have Been Simply A Slight Accident,  Had Help Been At Hand,  Had Terminated In An Awful Death For The Want Of It.   It Was Eleven O'clock Before Anything Like Order Was Restored At Hartledon,  And The House Left In Quiet. The Last Person To Quit It Was Dr. Ashton. Hedges,  The Butler,  Had Been Showing Him Out,  And Was Standing For A Minute On The Steps Looking After Him,  And Perhaps To Cool,  With A Little Fresh Air,  His Perplexed Brow--For The Man Was A Faithful Retainer,  And The Affair Had Shocked Him In No Common Degree--When He Was Accosted By Pike,  Who Emerged Stealthily From Behind One Of The Outer Pillars,  Where He El.   "Emma,  Where's The Water-Can?"   "Please 'M,  Mrs. Plumberridge,  She Left It Outside Of The Door Yesterday,  And Some One's Took It."   There Is Yet A Later Widow,  But I Do _Not_ Think Of Taking Her Into The House. The Widow Bone Has Taken To _Boning_ Her Daughter's Clothes,  So _She_ Is Forbidden The House....         To A.E.   _Brighton_. April 17,  1872.         ... I Got Here All Right,  And Wonderfully Little Tired,  Though The Train Shook A Good Deal The Latter Part Of The Way.   Oh! The Flowers! The Cowslips,  The Purple Orchids,  The Kingcups,  The Primroses! And The Grey,  Drifting Cumuli With Gaps Of Blue,  And The Cinnamon And Purple Woods,  Broken With Yellowish Poplars And Pale Willows,  With Red Farms,  And Yellow Gorse Lighted Up By The Sun!!! The Oaks Just Beginning To Break Out In Yellowish Tufts,  [_Sketch._] I Can't Tell You What Lovely Sketches I Passed Between Aldershot And Redhill!   On To Brighton I Took Charge Of A Small Boy Being Sent By A Fond Mother To School. When I Mention That He Was Nine Years Old,--And Informed Me--That He Had Got "A Jolly Book," Which Proved To Be _A School For Fathers_,  That His Own School Wasn't _Much Of A One_,  And He Was Going To Leave,  And Ate Hard-Boiled Eggs And Crystallized Oranges By The Way--You Will See How This Generation Waxes Apace!!         _Ecclesfield_. May 27,  1872.         ... The Weather Is Very Nice Now. I Stayed Till The End Of The Litany In Church Yesterday,  And Then Slipped Out By The Organ Door And Sat With Mother. I Sat On The Boy's School Side Of The Chancel,  Where A Little Lad Near Me Was Singing _Alto_ (Not A "Second" Of Thirds!) Strong And Steady As A Thrush In A Hedge!! The Music Went Very Well.   The Country Looks Lovely,  _But For The Smoke_. If It Had But Our Blue Distance It Would Be Grand. But The                     "Wreathed Smoke Afar     That O'er The Town Like Mist Upraised     Hung,  Hiding Sun And Star,"   Gets Worse Every Year! And When I Think Of Our Lovely Blue And Grey Folds Of Distance,  And Bright Skies,  And Tints,  I Feel Quite _Ruskinish_ Towards Mills And Manufactories.         To C.T. Gatty.   _X Lines,  South Camp,  Aldershot._ August 10,  1873.         My Very Dear Old Charlie,   Don't You Suppose Your Sister Is Forgetting You. Two Causes Have Delayed Your Drawings.   1. I Have Been Working--Oh _So_ Hard! It Was Because Mr. Bell Announced That He Wanted A "Volume," And That For The Xmas Market One Must Begin At Once In July!   Such Is Competition!   He Had An Idea That Something Which Had Not Appeared In Any Magazine Would Be More Successful Than Reprints. _So_ I Have Written "Lob Lie-By-The-Fire,  Or The Luck Of Lingborough," And You Will Recognize Your _Cockie_ In It! I Have Taken No End Of Pains With It,  And It Has Been A Matter Of Seven Or Eight Hours A Day Lately. I Mean The Last Few Days. Rather Too Much. It Knocked Me Off My Sleep,  And Reduced "My Poor Back" To The Consistency Of Pith. But I Am Picking Up,  Partly By Such Gross Material Aid As _Bottled Stout_ Affords! And Any Amount Of Fresh Air Blowing In Full Draughts Over My Bed At Night!!   2. I _Have_ Been At Work For You,  But I Get So Horribly Dissatisfied With My Things. No; I Must Do Some Real Steady _Work_ At It. One Can't Jump With A Little "Nice Feeling" And Plenty Of Theories Into What Can Give Any Lasting Pleasure To Oneself Or Any One Else. I Will Send You Shortly (I Hope) A Copy Of One Of Sir Hope Grant's Chinnerys,  And Perhaps A Wee Thing Of Ecclesfield. The Worst Of Drawing Is,  It Wants Mind As Well As Hands. One Can't Go At It _Jaded_ From Head Work,  As One Could "Sew A Long White Seam" Or Any Mechanical Thing!...   When D---- Was With Me,  We Went To A _Fete_ In The North Camp Gardens, And I Was Talking To Lady Grant About The Chinnerys,  And The "Happy Thought" Struck Her To Introduce Me To A Mr. Walkinshaw. They Live Somewhere In This Country,  And Mrs. Walkinshaw Came Up Afterwards To Ask If She Might Call On Me,  As They Have A Chinnery Collection (Gathered In China),  And Mr. Walkinshaw Would Show Them To Me!... Itheyencil. Send Over To The Rectory The First Thing In The Morning. And, Hedges--"   At This Moment A Slight Noise Was Heard Within The Room Like The Sound Of An Extinguisher Falling; As,  In Fact,  It Was. Lord Hartledon Turned Towards It.   "Who Is There,  Hedges?"   "I--It's No One In Particular,  Sir--My Lord."   What With The Butler's Bewilderment On The Sudden Change Of Masters,  And What With His Consciousness Of The Presence Of His Visitor,  He Was Unusually Confused. Lord Hartledon Noticed It. It Instantly Occurred To Him That One Of The Ladies,  Or Perhaps One Of The Women-Servants,  Had Been Admitted To The Room; And He Did Not Consider It A Proper Sight For Any Of Them.   "Who Is It?" He Demanded,  Somewhat Peremptorily.   So Hedges Had To Confess What Had Taken Place,  And That He Had Allowed The Man To Enter.   "Pike! Why,  What Can He Want?" Exclaimed Lord Hartledon In Surprise. And He Turned To The Room.   The Moment The Butler Left Him Alone Mr. Pike's First Proceeding Had Been To Cover His Head Again With His Wide-Awake,  Which He Had Evidently Removed With Reluctance,  And Might Have Refused To Remove At All Had It Been Consistent With Policy; His Second Was To Snatch Up The Candle,  Bend Over The Dead Face,  And Examine It Minutely Both With Eye And Hand.   "There _Is_ A Wound,  Then,  And It's True What They Are Saying. I Thought It Might Have Been Gossip," He Muttered,  As He Pushed The Soft Dark Hair From The Temple. "Any More Suspicious Marks?" He Resumed,  Taking A Rapid View Of The Hands And Head. "No; Nothing But What He'd Be Likely To Get In The Water: But--I'll Swear _That_ Might Have Been The Blow Of A Human Hand. 'Twould Stun,  If It Wouldn't Kill; And Then,  Held Under The Water--"   At This Moment Mr. Pike And His Comments Were Interrupted,  And He Drew Back From The Table On Which The Body Was Lying; But Not Before Lord Hartledon Had Seen Him Touching The Face Of The Dead.   "What Are You Doing?" Came The Stern Demand.   "I Wasn't Harming Him," Was The Answer; And Mr. Pike Seemed To Have Suddenly Returned To His Roughness. "It's A Nasty Accident To Have Happened; And I Don't Like _This_."   He Pointed To The Temple As He Spoke. Lord Hartledon's Usually Good-Natured Brow--At Present A Brow Of Deep Sorrow--Contracted With Displeasure.   "It Is An Awful Accident," He Replied. "But I Asked What You Were Doing Here?"   "I Thought I'd Like To Look Upon Him,  Sir; And The Butler Let Me In. I Wish I'd Been A Bit Nearer The Place At The Time: I'd Have Saved Him,  Or Got Drowned Myself. Not Much Fear Of That,  Though. I'm A Rat For The Water. Was That Done Fairly?" Pointing Again To The Temple.   "What Do You Mean?" Exclaimed Val.   "Well--It Might Be,  Or It Might Not. One Who Has Led The Roving Life I Have,  And Been In All Sorts Of Scenes,  Bred In The Slums Of London Too, Looks On The Suspicious Side Of These Things. And There Mostly Is One In All Of 'Em."   Val Was Moved To Anger. "How Dare You Hint At So Infamous A Suspicion, Pike? If--"   "No Offence,  My Lord," Interrupted Pike--"And It's My Lord That You Are Now. Thoughts May Be Free In This Room; But I Am Not Going To Spread Suspicion Outside. I Say,  Though That _Might_ Have Been An Accident,  It Might Have Been Done By An Enemy."   "Did You Do It?" Retorted Lord Hartledon In His Displeasure.   Pike Gave A Short Laugh.   "I Did Not. I Had No Cause To Harm Him. What I'm Thinking Was,  Whether Anybody Else Had. He Was Mistaken For Another Yesterday," Continued Pike, Dropping His Voice. "Some Men In His Lordship's Place Might Have Showed Fight Then: Even Blows."   Percival Made No Immediate Rejoinder. He Was Gazing At Pike Just As Fixedly As The Latter Gazed At Him. Did The Man Wish To Insinuate That The Unwelcome Visitor Had Again Mistaken The One Brother For The Other, And The Result Had Been A Struggle Between Them,  Ending In This? The Idea Rushed Into His Mind,  And A Dark Flush Overspread His Face.   "You Have No Grounds For Thinking That Man--You Know Who I Mean--Attacked My Brother A Second Time?"   "No,  I Have No Grounds For It," Shortly Answered Pike.   "He Was Near To The Spot At The Time; I Saw Him There," Continued Lord Hartledon,  Speaking Apparently To Himself; Whilst The Flush,  Painfully Red And Dark,  Was Increasing Rather Than Diminishing.   "I Know You Did," Returned Pike.   The Tone Grated On Lord Hartledon's Ear. It Implied That The Man Might Become Familiar,  If Not Checked; And,  With All His Good-Natured Affability,  He Was Not One To Permit It; Besides,  His Position Was Changed,  And He Could Not Help Feeling That It Was. "Necessity Makes Us Acquainted With Strange Bedfellows," Says The Very True Proverb; And What Might Have Been Borne Yesterday Would Not Be Borne To-Day.   "Let Me Understand You," He Said,  And There Was A Stern Decision In His Tone And Manner That Surprised Pike. "Have You Any Reason Whatever To Suspect That Man Of Having Injured,  Or Attempted To Injure My Brother?"   "_I_'Ve Not," Answered Pike. "I Never Saw Him Nearer To The Mill Yesterday Than He Was When He Looked At Us. I Don't Think He Went Nearer. My Lord,  If I Knew Anything Against The Man,  I'd Tell It Out,  And Be Glad. I Hate The Whole Tribe. _He_ Wouldn't Make The Mistake Again," Added Pike,  Half-Contemptuously. "He Knew Which Was His Lordship Fast Enough To-Day,  And Which Wasn't."   "Then What Did You Mean By Insinuating That The Blow On The Temple Was The Result Of Violence?"   "I Didn't Say It Was: I Said It Might Have Been. I Don't Know A Thing,  As Connected With This Business,  Against A Mortal Soul. It's True,  My Lord."   "Perhaps,  Then,  You Will Leave This Room," Said Lord Hartledon.   "I'm Going. And Many Thanks To Your Lordship For Not Having Turned Me From It Before,  And For Letting Me Have My Say. Thanks To _You_,  Sir," He Added,  As He Went Out Of The Room And Passed Hedges,  Who Was Waiting In The Hall.   Hedges Closed The Door After Him,  And Turned To Receive A Reprimand From His New Master.   "Before You Admit Such Men As That Into The Most Sacred Chamber The House At Present Contains,  You Will Ask My Permission,  Hedges."   Hedges Attempted To Excuse Himself. "He Was So Very Earnest,  My Lord; He Declared To Me He Had A Good Motive In Wanting To Come In. At These Times,  When One's Heart Is Almost Broken With A Sudden Blow,  One Is Apt To Be Soft And Yielding. What With That Feeling Upon Me,  And What With The Fright He Gave Me--"   "What Fright Did He Give You?" Interrupted Val.   "Well,  My Lord,  He--He Asked Me Whether His Lordship Had Come Fairly By His Death."   "How Dare You Repeat The Insinuation?" Broke Forth Lord Hartledon,  With More Temper Than Hedges Had Ever Seen Him Display. "The Very Idea Is Absurd; It Is Wicked; It Is Unpardonable. My Brother Had Not An Enemy In The World. Take Care Not To Repeat It Again. Do You Hear?"   He Turned Away From The Astonished Man,  Went Into The Room He Had Called Sacred,  And Closed The Door. Hedges Wondered Whether The Hitherto Sweet-Tempered,  Easy-Mannered Younger Brother Had Changed His Nature With His Inheritance.   As The Days Went On,  Few,  If Any,  Further Particulars Were Elicited As To The Cause Of Accident. That The Unfortunate Lord Hartledon Had Become Partly,  If Not Wholly,  Disabled,  So As To Be Incapable Of Managing Even The Little Skiff,  Had Been Drifted By The Current Towards The Mills,  And There Upset,  Was Assumed By All To Have Been The True History Of The Case. There Appeared No Reason To Doubt That It Was So. The Inquest Was Held On The Thursday.   And On That Same Morning The New Lord Hartledon Received A Proof Of The Kindness Of His Brother. A Letter Arrived From Messrs. Kedge And Reck, Addressed To Edward Earl Of Hartledon. By It Percival Found--There Was No One Else To Open It Now--That His Brother Had Written To Them Early On The Tuesday Morning,  Taking The Debt Upon Himself; And They Now Wrote To Say They Accepted His Responsibility,  And Had Withdrawn The Officer From Calne. Alas! Val Elster Could Have Dismissed Him Himself Now.   He Sat With Bent Head And Drooping Eyelids. None,  Save Himself,  Knew How Bitter Were The Feelings Within Him,  Or The Remorse That Was His Portion For Having Behaved Unkindly To His Brother Within The Last Few Hours Of Life. He Had Rebelled At His State Of Debt Becoming Known To Dr. Ashton; He Had Feared To Lose Anne: It Seemed To Him Now,  That He Would Live Under The Doctor's Displeasure For Ever,  Would Never See Anne Again, Could He Recall His Brother. Oh,  These Unavailing Regrets! Will They Rise Up To Face Us At The Last Day?   With A Suppressed Ejaculation That Was Like A Cry Of Pain,  As If He Would Throw From Him These Reflections And Could Not,  Lord Hartledon Drew A Sheet Of Paper Before Him And Wrote A Note To The Lawyers. He Briefly Stated What Had Taken Place; That His Brother Was Dead From An Accident, And He Had Inherited,  And Should Take Speedy Measures For The Discharge Of Any Liabilities There Might Be Against Him: And He Requested,  As A Favour,  That The Letter Written To Them By His Brother Might Be Preserved And Returned To Him: He Should Wish To Keep It As The Last Lines His Hand Had Traced.           Chapter 11 (The Inquest) On This Day,  Thursday,  The Inquest Was Held. Most Of The Gay Crowd Staying At Hartledon Had Taken Flight; Mr. Carteret,  And One Or Two More, Whose Testimony Might Be Wished For,  Remaining. The Coroner And Jury Assembled In The Afternoon,  In A Large Boarded Apartment Called The Steward's Room. Lord Hartledon Was Present With Dr. Ashton And Other Friends: They Were Naturally Anxious To Hear The Evidence That Could Be Collected,  And Gather Any Light That Might Be Thrown Upon The Accident. The Doors Were Not Closed To The Public,  And A Crowd,  Gentle And Simple, Pressed In.   The Surgeon Spoke To The Supposed Cause Of Death--Drowning: The Miller Spoke To His House And Mill Having Been That Afternoon Shut Up. He And His Wife Went Over In Their Spring-Cart To Garchester,  And Left The Place Locked Up,  He Said. The Coroner Asked Whether It Was His Custom To Lock Up His Place When He Went Out; He Replied That It Was,  When They Went Out Together; But That Event Rarely Happened. Upon His Return At Dusk,  He Found The Little Skiff Loose In The Stream,  And Secured It. It Was His Servant-Boy,  David Ripper,  Who Called His Attention To It First Of All. He Saw Nothing Of Lord Hartledon,  And Had Not Very Long Secured The Skiff When Mr. Percival Elster Came Up In The Pony-Carriage,  Asking If His Brother Was There. He Looked At The Skiff,  And Said It Was The One His Lordship Had Been In. Mr. Elster Said He Supposed His Brother Was Walking Home,  And He Should Drive Slowly Back And Look Out For Him. Later Mr. Elster Returned: He Had Several Servants With Him Then And Lanterns; They Had Come Out To Look For Lord Hartledon,  But Could Not Find Him. It Was Only Just After They Had Gone Away Again That The Irish Harvest-Men Came Up And Found The Body.   This Was The Substance Of The Miller's Evidence; It Was All He Knew: And The Next Witness Called Was The Boy David Ripper,  Popularly Styled In The Neighbourhood Young Rip,  In Contradistinction To His Father,  A Day-Labourer. He Was An Urchin Of Ten Or Twelve,  With A Red,  Round Face; Quite Ludicrous From Its Present Expression Of Terrified Consternation. The Coroner Sharply Inquired What He Was Frightened At; And The Boy Burst Into A Roar By Way Of Answer. He Didn't Know Nothing,  And Hadn't Seen Nothing,  And It Wasn't Him That Drowned His Lordship; And He Couldn't Tell More If They Hanged Him For It.   The Miller Interposed. The Boy Was One Of The Idlest Young Vagabonds He Had Ever Had The Luck To Be Troubled With; And He Thought It Exceedingly Likely He Had Been Off That Afternoon And Not Near The Mill At All. He Had Ordered Him To Take Two Sacks Into Calne; But When He Reached Home He Found The Sacks Untouched,  Lying Where He Had Placed Them Outside. Mr. Ripper Had No Doubt Been Playing Truant On His Own Account.   "Where Did You Pass Tuesday Afternoon During Your Master's Absence?" Sternly Demanded The Coroner. "Take Your Hands From Your Face And Answer Me,  Boy."   David Ripper Obeyed In The Best Manner He Was Capable Of,  Considering His Agitation. "I Dun Know Now Where I Was," He Said. "I Was About."   "About Where?"   Mr. Ripper Apparently Could Not Say Where. He Thought He Was "Setting His Bird-Trap" In The Stubble-Field; And He See A Partridge,  And Watched Where It Scudded To; But He Wasn't Nigh The Mill The Whole Time.   "Did You See Anything Of Lord Hartledon When He Was In The Skiff?"   "I Never Saw Him," He Sobbed. "I Wasn't Nigh The Mill At All,  And Never Saw Him Nor The Skiff."   "What Time Did You Get Back To The Mill?" Asked The Coroner.   He Didn't Know What Time It Was; His Master And Missis Had Come Home.   This Was True,  Mr. Floyd Said. They Had Been Back Some Little Time Before Ripper Showed Himself. The First Intimation He Received Of That Truant's Presence Was When He Drew His Attention To The Loose Skiff.   "How Came You To See The Skiff?" Sharply Asked The Coroner.   Ripper Spoke Up With Trembling Lips. He Was Waiting Outside After He Came Up,  And Afraid To Go In Lest His Master Should Beat Him For Not Taking The Sacks,  Which Went Clean Out Of His Mind,  They Did,  And Then He Saw The Little Boat; Upon Which He Called Out And Told His Master.   "And It Was Also You Who First Saw The Body In The Water," Observed The Coroner,  Regarding The Reluctant Witness Curiously. "How Came You To See That? Were You Looking For Something Of The Sort?"   The Witness Shivered. He Didn't Know How He Come To See It. He Was On The Strade,  Not Looking For Nothing,  When He Saw Some'at Dark Among The Reeds,  And Told The Harvesters When They Come By. They Said It Was A Man, Got Him Out,  And Then Found It Was His Lordship.   There Was Only One Peculiarity About The Boy's Evidence--His Manner. All He Said Was Feasible Enough; Indeed,  What Would Be Most Likely To Happen Under The Circumstances. But Whence Arose His Terror? Had He Been Of A Timid Temperament,  It Might Have Been Natural; But The Miller Had Spoken The Truth--He Was Audacious And Hardy. Only Upon One Or Two, However,  Did The Manner Leave Any Impression. Pike,  Who Made One Of The Crowd In The Inquest-Room,  Was One Of These. His Experience Of Human Nature Was Tolerably Keen,  And He Felt Sure The Boy Was Keeping Something Behind That He Did Not Dare To Tell. The Coroner And Jury Were Not So Clear-Sighted,  And Dismissed Him With The Remark That He Was A "Little Fool."   "Call George Gorton," Said The Coroner,  Looking At His Notes.   Very Much To Lord Hartledon's Surprise--Perhaps Somewhat To His Annoyance--The Man Answering To This Name Was The One Who Had Originally Come To Calne On A Special Mission To Himself. Some Feeling Caused Him To Turn From The Man Whilst He Gave His Evidence,  A Thing Easily Done In The Crowded Room.   It Appeared That Amidst The Stirring Excitement In The Neighbourhood On The Tuesday Night When The Death Became Known,  This Stranger Happened To Avow In The Public-House Which He Made His Quarters That He Had Seen Lord Hartledon In His Skiff Just Before The Event Must Have Happened. The Information Was Reported,  And The Man Received A Summons To Appear Before The Coroner.   And It May Be As Well To Remark Now,  That His Second Appearance Was Owing To A Little Cowardice On His Own Part. He Had Felt Perfectly Satisfied At The Time With The Promise Given Him By Lord Hartledon To See The Debt Paid--Given Also In The Presence Of The Rector--And Took His Departure In The Train,  Just As Pike Had Subsequently Told Mr. Elster. But Ere He Had Gone Two Stages On His Journey,  He Began To Think He Might Have Been Too Precipitate,  And To Ask Himself Whether His Employers Would Not Tell Him So When He Appeared Before Them,  Unbacked By Any Guarantee From Lord Hartledon; For This,  By A Strange Oversight,  He Had Omitted To Ask For. He Halted At Once,  And Went Back By The Next Return Train. The Following Day,  Tuesday,  He Spent Looking After Lord Hartledon,  But,  As It Happened, Did Not Meet Him.   The Man--A Dissipated Young Man,  Now That His Hat Was Off--Came Forward In His Long Coat,  His Red Hair And Whiskers. But It Seemed That He Had Really Very Little Information To Give. He Was On The Banks Of The River When Lord Hartledon Passed In The Skiff,  And Noticed How Strangely He Was Rowing,  One Arm Apparently Lying Useless. What Part Of The River Was This,  The Coroner Asked; And The Witness Avowed That He Could Not Describe It. He Was A Stranger,  Never There But That Once; All He Knew Was,  That It Was Higher Up,  Beyond Hartledon House. What Might He Have Been Doing There,  Demanded The Coroner. Only Strolling About,  Was The Answer. What Was His Business At Calne? Came The Next Question; And As It Was Put,  The Witness Caught The Eye Of The New Lord Hartledon Through An Opening In The Crowd. His Business,  The Witness Replied To The Coroner, Was His Own Business,  And Did Not Concern The Public,  And He Respectfully Declined To State It. He Presumed Calne Was A Free Place Like Other Places,  Where A Stranger Might Spend A Few Days Without Question,  If He Pleased.   Pike Chuckled At This: Incipient Resistance To Authority Cheered That Lawless Man's Heart. He Had Stood Throughout,  In The Shadow Of The Crowd, Just Within The Door,  Attentively Watching The Witnesses As They Gave Their Evidence: But He Was Not Prepared For What Was To Come Next.   Did The Witness See Any Other Spectators On The Bank? Continued The Coroner. Only One,  Was The Answer: A Man Called Pike,  Or Some Such Name. Pike Was Watching The Little Boat On The River When He Got Up To Him; He Remarked To Pike That His Lordship's Arm Seemed Tired; And He And Pike Had Walked Back To Calne Together.   Pike Would Have Got Away Had He Been Able,  But The Coroner Whispered To An Officer. For One Single Moment Mr. Pike Seemed Inclined To Show Fight; He Began Struggling,  Not Gently,  To Reach The Door; The Next He Gave It Up,  And Resigned Himself To His Fate. There Was A Little Hubbub,  In The Midst Of Which A Slip Of Paper With A Pencilled Line From Lord Hartledon, Was Handed To The Coroner.   "_Press This Point,  Whether They Returned To Calne At Once And Together._"   "George Gorton," Cried The Coroner,  As He Crushed The Paper In His Hand, "At What Hour Did You Return To Calne?"   "I Went At Once. As Soon As The Little Boat Was Out Of Sight."   "Went Alone?"   "No,  Sir. I And The Man Pike Walked Together. I've Said So Already."   "What Made You Go Together?"   "Nothing In Particular. We Were Both Going Back,  I Suppose,  And Strolled Along Talking."   It Appeared To Be All That The Witness Had To Tell,  And Mr. Pike Came Forward Perforce. As He Stood There,  His Elegant Wide-Awake Bent In His Hand,  He Looked More Like The Wild Man Of The Woods He Had Been Compared To,  Than A Civilized Being. Rough,  Rude,  And Abrupt Were His Tones As He Spoke,  And He Bent His Face And Eyes Downwards Whilst He Answered. It Was In Those Eyes That Lay The Look Which Had Struck Mr. Elster As Being Familiar To Him. He Persisted In Giving His Name As Tom,  Not Thomas.   But If The Stranger In The Long Coat Had Little Evidence To Give,  Pike Had Even Less. He Had Been In The Woods That Afternoon And Sauntered To The Bank Of The River Just As Lord Hartledon Passed In The Skiff; But He Had Taken Very Little Notice Of Him. It Was Only When The Last Witness, Who Came Up At The Moment,  Remarked Upon The Queer Manner In Which His Lordship Held His Arm,  That He Saw It Was Lying Idle.   Not A Thing More Could He Or Would He Tell. It Was All He Knew,  He Said, And Would Swear It Was All. He Went Back To Calne With The Last Witness, And Never Saw His Lordship Again Alive.   It Did Appear To Be All,  Just As It Did In The Matter Of The Other Man. The Coroner Inquired Whether He Had Seen Any One Else On The Banks Or Near Them,  And Pike Replied That He Had Not Set Eyes On Another Soul, Which Percival Knew To Be False,  For He Had Seen _Him_. He Was Told To Put His Signature To His Evidence,  Which The Clerk Had Taken Down,  And Affixed A Cross.   "Can't You Write?" Asked The Coroner.   Pike Shook His Head Negatively. "Never Learnt," He Curtly Said. And Percival Believed That To Be An Untruth Equally With The Other. He Could Not Help Thinking That The Avowal Of Their Immediate Return Might Also Be False: It Was Just As Possible That One Or Other,  Or Both,  Had Followed The Course Of The Boat.   Mr. Carteret Was Examined. He Could Tell No More Than He Had Already Told. They Started Together,  But He Had Soon Got Beyond His Lordship, And Had Never Seen Him Again Alive. There Was Nothing More To Be Gleaned Or Gathered. Not The Smallest Suspicion Of Foul Play,  Or Of Its Being Anything But A Most Unfortunate Accident,  Was Entertained For A Moment By Any One Who Heard The Evidence,  And The Verdict Of The Jury Was To That Effect: Accidental Death.   As The Crowd Pressed Out Of The Inquest-Room,  Jostling One Another In The Gloom Of The Evening,  And Went Their Several Ways,  Lord Hartledon Found Himself Close To Gorton,  His Coat Flapping As He Walked. The Man Was Looking Round For Pike: But Mr. Pike,  The Instant His Forced Evidence Was Given,  Had Slunk Away From The Gaze Of His Fellow-Men To Ensconce Himself In His Solitary Shed. To All Appearance Lord Hartledon Had Overtaken Gorton By Accident: The Man Turned Aside In Obedience To A Signal,  And Halted. They Could Not See Much Of Each Other's Faces In The Twilight.   "I Wish To Ask You A Question," Said Percival In Low,  Impressive,  And Not Unkindly Tones. "Did You Speak With My Brother,  Lord Hartledon,  At All On Tuesday?"   "No,  My Lord,  I Did Not," Was The Ready Answer. "I Was Trying To Get To See His Lordship,  But Did Not."   "What Did You Want With Him? What Brought You Back To Calne?"   "I Wanted To Get From Him A Guarantee For--For What Your Lordship Knows Of; Which He Had Omitted To Give,  And I Had Not Thought To Ask For," Civilly Replied The Man. "I Was Looking About For His Lordship On The Tuesday Morning,  But Did Not Get To See Him. In The Afternoon,  When The Boat-Race Was Over,  I Made Bold To Call At Hartledon,  But The Servants Said His Lordship Wasn't In. As I Came Away,  I Saw Him,  As I Thought, Pass The Lodge And Go Up The Road,  And I Cut After Him,  But Couldn't Overtake Him,  And At Last Lost Sight Of Him. I Struck Into A Tangled Sort Of Pathway Through The Gorse,  Or Whatever It's Called Down Here,  And It Brought Me Out Near The River. His Lordship Was Just Sculling Down,  And Then I Knew It Was Some One Else Had Gone By The Lodge,  And Not Him. Perhaps It Was Your Lordship?"   "You Knew It Was Lord Hartledon In The Boat? I Mean,  You Recognized Him? You Did Not Mistake Him For Me?"   "I Knew Him,  My Lord. If I'd Been A Bit Nearer The Lodge,  I Shouldn't Have Been Likely To Mistake Even Your Lordship For Him."   Lord Hartledon Was Gazing Into The Man's Face Still; Never Once Had His Eyes Been Removed From It.   "You Did Not See Lord Hartledon Later?"   "I Never Saw Him All Day But That Once When He Passed In The Skiff."   "You Did Not Follow Him,  Then?"   "Of What Use?" Debated The Man. "I Couldn't Call Out My Business From The Banks,  And Didn't Know His Lordship Was Going To Land Lower Down. I Went Straight Back To Calne,  My Lord,  Walking With That Man Pike--Who Is A Rum Fellow,  And Has A History Behind Him,  Unless I'm Mistaken; But It's No Business Of Mine. I Made My Mind Up To Another Night Of It In Calne, Thinking I'd Get To Hartledon Early Next Morning Before His Lordship Had Time To Go Out; And I Was Sitting Comfortably With A Pipe And A Glass Of Beer,  When News Came Of The Accident."   Lord Hartledon Believed The Man To Be Telling The Truth; And A Weight--The Source Of Which He Did Not Stay To Analyse--Was Lifted From His Mind. But He Asked Another Question.   "Why Are You Still In Calne?"   "I Waited For Orders. After His Lordship Died I Couldn't Go Away Without Them--Carrying With Me Nothing But The Word Of A Dead Man. The Orders Came This Morning,  Safe Enough; But I Had The Summons Served On Me Then To Attend The Inquest,  And Had To Stay For It. I'm Going Away Now,  My Lord,  By The First Train."   Lord Hartledon Was Satisfied,  And Nodded His Head. As He Turned Back He Met Dr. Ashton.   "I Was Looking For You,  Lord Hartledon. If You Require Any Assistance Or Information In The Various Arrangements That Now Devolve Upon You,  I Shall Be Happy To Render Both. There Will Be A Good Deal To Do One Way Or Another; More,  I Dare Say,  Than Your Inexperience Has The Least Idea Of. You Will Have Your Solicitor At Hand,  Of Course; But If You Want Me,  You Know Where To Find Me."   The Rector's Words Were Courteous,  But The Tone Was Not Warm,  And The Title "Lord Hartledon" Grated On Val's Ear. In His Impulse He Grasped The Speaker's Hand,  Pouring Forth A Heartfelt Prayer.   "Oh,  Dr. Ashton,  Will You Not Forgive Me? The Horrible Trouble I Brought Upon Myself Is Over Now. I Don't Rejoice In It Under The Circumstances, Heaven Knows; I Only Speak Of The Fact. Let Me Come To Your House Again! Forgive Me For The Past."   "In One Sense The Trouble Is Over,  Because The Debts That Were A Formidable Embarrassment To Mr. Elster Are As Nothing To Lord Hartledon," Was The Reply. "But Let Me Assure You Of One Thing: That Your Being Lord Hartledon Will Not Make The Slightest Difference To My Decision Not To Give You My Daughter,  Unless Your Line Of Conduct Shall Change."   "It Is Changed. Dr. Ashton,  On My Word Of Honour,  I Will Never Be Guilty Of Carelessness Again. One Thing Will Be My Safeguard,  Though All Else Should Fail--The Fact That I Passed My Word For This To My Dear Brother Not Many Hours Before His Death. For My Sake,  For Anne's Sake,  You Will Forgive Me!"   Was It Possible To Resist The Persuasive Tones,  The Earnestness Of The Honest,  Dark-Blue Eyes? If Ever Percival Elster Was To Make An Effort For Good,  And Succeed,  It Must Be Now. The Doctor Knew It; And He Knew That Anne's Happiness Was At Stake. But He Did Not Thaw Immediately.   "You Know,  Lord Hartledon--"   "Call Me Val,  As You Used To Do," Came The Pleading Interruption; And Dr. Ashton Smiled In Spite Of Himself.   "Percival,  You Know It Is Against My Nature To Be Harsh Or Unforgiving; Just As I Believe It Contrary To Your Nature To Be Guilty Of Deliberate Wrong. If You Will Only Be True To Yourself,  I Would Rather Have You For My Son-In-Law Than Any Other Man In England; As I Would Have Had When You Were Val Elster. Do You Note My Words? _True To Yourself_."   "As I Will Be From Henceforth," Whispered Val,  Earnest Tears Rising To His Eyes.   And As He Would Have Been But For His Besetting Sin. Chapter 12 (Later In The Day) It Happened That Clerk Gum Had Business On Hand The Day Of The Inquest, Which Obliged Him To Go To Garchester. He Reached Home After Dark; And The First Thing He Saw Was His Wife,  In What He Was Pleased To Call A State Of Semi-Idiocy. The Tea-Things Were Laid On The Table,  And Substantial Refreshment In The Shape Of Cold Meat,  And A Plate Of Muffins Ready For Toasting,  All For The Clerk's Regalement. But Mrs. Gum Herself Sat On A Low Chair By The Fire,  Her Eyes Swollen With Crying.   "What's The Matter Now?" Was The Clerk's First Question.   "Oh,  Gum,  I Told You You Ought Not To Have Gone Off To-Day. You Might Have Stayed For The Inquest."   "Much Good I Should Do The Inquest,  Or The Inquest Do Me," Retorted The Clerk. "Has Becky Gone?"   "Long Ago. Gum,  That Dream's Coming Round. I Said It Would. I _Told_ You There Was Ill In Store For Lord Hartledon; And That Pike Was Mixed Up In It,  And Mr. Elster Also In Some Way. If You'd Only Listen To Me--"   The Clerk,  Who Had Been Brushing His Hat And Shaking The Dust From His Outer Coat--For He Was A Careful Man With His Clothes,  And Always Well-Dressed--Brought Down His Hand Upon The Table With Some Temper.   "Just Stop That. I've Heard Enough Of That Dream,  And Of All Your Dreams. Confounded Folly! Haven't I Trouble And Worry Enough Upon My Mind, Without Your Worrying Me Every Time I Come In About Your Idiotic Dreams?"   "Well," Returned Mrs. Gum,  "If The Dream's Nothing,  I'd Like To Ask Why They Had Pike Up To-Day Before Them All?"   "Who Had Him Up?" Asked The Clerk,  After A Pause. "Had Him Up Where?"   "Before The People Sitting On The Body Of Lord Hartledon. Lydia Jones Brought Me The News Just Now. 'They Had Pike The Poacher Up,' Says She. 'He Was Up Before The Jury,  And Had To Confess To It.' 'Confess To What,' Said I. 'Why,  That He Was About In The Woods When My Lord Met His End,' Said She; 'And It's To Know How My Lord Did Meet It,  And Whether The Poacher Mightn't Have Dealt That Blow On His Temple And Robbed Him After It.' Gum--"   "There's No Suspicion Of Foul Play,  Is There?" Interrupted The Clerk,  In Strangely Subdued Tones.   "Not That I Know Of,  Except In Lydia's Temper," Answered Mrs. Gum. "But I Don't Like To Hear He Was Up There At All."   "Lydia Jones Is A Foul-Tongued Woman,  Capable Of Swearing Away Any Man's Life. Is Pike In Custody?"   "Not Yet. They've Let Him Off For The Present. Oh,  Gum,  Often And Often Do I Wish My Days Were Ended!"   "Often And Often Do I Wish I'd A Quiet House To Come To,  And Not Be Bothered With Dreams," Was The Scornful Retort. "Suppose You Toast The Muffins."   She Gave A Sigh Or Two,  Put Her Cap Straight,  Smoothed Her Ragged Hair, And Meekly Rose To Obey. The Clerk Was Carefully Folding Up The Outer Coat,  For It Was One He Wore Only On High-Days,  When He Felt Something In The Pocket--A Small Parcel.   "I'd Almost Forgotten This," He Exclaimed,  Taking It Out. "Thanks To You, Nance! What With Your Dreams And Other Worryings I Can't Think Of My Proper Business."   "What Is It?" She Asked.   "A Deed Dr. Ashton's Lawyer Got Me To Bring And Save His Clerk A Journey--If You Must Know. I'll Take It Over At Once,  While The Tea's Brewing."   As Jabez Gum Passed Through His Own Gate He Looked Towards Mr. Pike's Dwelling; It Was Only Natural He Should Do So After The Recent Conversation; And He Saw That Worthy Gentleman Come Stealing Across The Waste Ground,  With His Usual Cautious Step. Although Not Given To Exchanging Courtesies With His Neighbour,  The Clerk Walked Briskly Towards Him Now,  And Waited At The Hurdles Which Divided The Waste Ground From The Road.   "I Hear You Were Prowling About The Mill When Lord Hartledon Met With His Accident," Began The Clerk,  In Low,  Condemning Tones.   "And What If I Was," Asked Pike,  Leaning His Arms On The Hurdles And Facing The Clerk. "Near The Mill I Wasn't; About The Woods And River I Was; And I Saw Him Pass Down In The Sculling Boat With His Disabled Arm. What Of It,  I Ask?"   Pike's Tone,  Though Short,  Was Civil Enough. The Forced Appearance Before The Coroner And Public Had Disturbed His Equanimity In No Slight Degree, And Taken For The Present All Insolence Out Of Him.   "Should Any Doubt Get Afloat That His Lordship's Death Might Not Have Been Accidental,  Your Presence At The Spot Would Tell Against You."   "No,  It Wouldn't. I Left The Spot Before The Accident Could Have Happened; And I Came Back To Calne With A Witness. As To The Death Having Been Something Worse Than Accident,  Not A Soul In The Place Has Dreamt Of Such A Thing Except Me."   "Except You! What Do You Mean?"   Pike Leaned More Over The Hurdles,  So As To Bring His Disreputable Face Closer To Mr. Gum,  Who Slightly Recoiled As He Caught The Low Whisper.   "I Don't Think The Death Was Accidental. I Believe His Lordship Was Just Put Out Of The Way Quietly."   "Heaven Forbid!" Exclaimed The Shocked Clerk. "By Whom? By You?" He Added,  In His Bewilderment.   "No," Returned The Man. "If I'd Done It,  I Shouldn't Talk About It."   "What Do You Mean?" Cried Mr. Gum.   "I Mean That I Have My Suspicions; And Good Suspicions They Are. Many A Man Has Been Hung On Less. I Am Not Going To Tell Them; Perhaps Not Ever. I Shall Wait And Keep My Eyes Open,  And Bring Them,  If I Can,  To Certainties. Time Enough To Talk Then,  Or Keep Silent,  As Circumstances May Dictate."   "And You Tell Me You Were Not Near The Place At The Time Of The Accident?"   "_I_ Wasn't," Replied Mr. Pike,  With Emphasis.   "Who Was?"   "That's My Secret. And As I've A Little Matter Of Business On Hand To-Night,  I Don't Care To Be Further Delayed,  If It's All The Same To You,  Neighbour. And Instead Of Your Accusing Me Of Prowling About The Mill Again,  Perhaps You'll Just Give A Thought Occasionally To What I Have Now Said,  Keeping It To Yourself. I'm Not Afraid Of Your Spreading It In Calne; For It Might Bring A Hornets' Nest About Your Head,  And About Some Other Heads That You Wouldn't Like To Injure."   With The Last Words Mr. Pike Crossed The Hurdles And Went Off In The Direction Of Hartledon. It Was A Light Night,  And The Clerk Stood And Stared After Him. To Say That Jabez Gum In His Astonishment Was Uncertain Whether He Stood On His Head Or His Heels,  Would Be Saying Little; And How Much Of These Assertions He Might Believe,  And What Mischief Mr. Pike Might Be Going After To-Night,  He Knew Not. Drawing A Long Sigh,  Which Did Not Sound Very Much Like A Sigh Of Relief,  He At Length Turned Off To Dr. Ashton's,  And The Man Disappeared.   We Must Follow Pike. He Went Stealthily Up The Road Past Hartledon, Keeping In The Shade Of The Hedge,  And Shrinking Into It When He Saw Any One Coming. Striking Off When He Neared The Mill,  He Approached It Cautiously,  And Halted Amidst Some Trees,  Whence He Had A View Of The Mill-Door.   He Was Waiting For The Boy,  David Ripper. Fully Convinced By The Lad's Manner At The Inquest That He Had Not Told All He Knew,  But Was Keeping Something Back In Fear,  Mr. Pike,  For Reasons Of His Own,  Resolved To Come At It If He Could. He Knew That The Boy Would Be At Work Later Than Usual That Night,  Having Been Hindered In The Afternoon.   Imagine Yourself Standing With Your Back To The River,  Reader,  And Take A View Of The Premises As They Face You. The Cottage Is A Square Building, And Has Four Good Rooms On The Ground Floor. The Miller's Thrifty Wife Generally Locked All These Rooms Up If She Went Out,  And Carried The Keys Away In Her Pocket. The Parlour Window Was An Ordinary Sash-Window,  With Outside Shutters; The Kitchen Window A Small Casement,  Protected By A Fixed Net-Work Of Strong Wire. No One Could Get In Or Out,  Even When The Casement Was Open,  Without Tearing This Wire Away,  Which Would Not Be A Difficult Matter To Accomplish. On The Left Of The Cottage,  But To Your Right As You Face It,  Stands The Mill,  To Which You Ascend By Steps. It Communicates Inside With The Upper Floor Of The Cottage,  Which Is Used As A Store-Room For Corn; And From This Store-Room A Flight Of Stairs Descends To The Kitchen Below. Another Flight Of Stairs From This Store-Room Communicated With The Open Passage Leading From The Back-Door To The Stable. This Is All That Need Be Said: And You May Think It Superfluous To Have Described It At All: But It Is Not So.   The Boy Ripper At Length Came Forth. With A Shuddering Avoidance Of The Water He Came Tearing Along As One Running From A Ghost,  And Was Darting Past The Trees,  When He Found Himself Detained By An Arm Of Great Strength. Mr. Pike Clapped His Other Hand Upon The Boy's Mouth,  Stifling A Howl Of Terror.   "Do You See This,  Rip?" Cried He.   Rip Did See It. It Was A Pistol Held Rather Inconveniently Close To The Boy's Breast. Rip Dearly Loved His Life; But It Nearly Went Out Of Him Then With Fear.   "Now," Said Pike,  "I've Come Up To Know About This Business Of Lord Hartledon's,  And I Will Know It,  Or Leave You As Dead As He Is. And I'll Have You Took Up For Murder,  Into The Bargain," He Rather Illogically Continued,  "As An Accessory To The Fact."   David Ripper Was In A State Of Horror; All Idea Of Concealment Gone Out Of Him. "I Couldn't Help It," He Gasped. "I Couldn't Get Out To Him; I Was Locked Up In The Mill. Don't Shoot Me."   "I'll Spare You On One Condition," Decided Pike. "Disclose The Whole Of This From First To Last,  And Then We May Part Friends. But Try To Palm Off One Lie Upon Me,  And I'll Riddle You Through. To Begin With: What Brought You Locked Up In The Mill?"   It Was A Wicked Tale Of A Wicked Young Jail-Bird,  As Mr. Pike (Probably The Worse Jail-Bird By Far Of The Two) Phrased It. Master Ripper Had Purposely Caused Himself To Be Locked In The Mill,  His Object Being To Supply Himself With As Much Corn As He Could Carry About Him For The Benefit Of His Rabbits And Pigeons And Other Live Stock At Home. He Had Done It Twice Before,  He Avowed,  In Dread Of The Pistol,  And Had Got Away Safe Through The Square Hole In The Passage At The Foot Of The Back Staircase,  Whence He Had Dropped To The Ground. To His Consternation On This Occasion,  However,  He Had Found The Door At The Foot Of The Stairs Bolted,  As It Never Had Been Before,  And He Could Not Get To The Passage. So He Was A Prisoner All The Afternoon,  And Had Exercised His Legs Between The Store-Room And Kitchen,  Both Of Which Were Open To Him.   If Ever A Man Showed Virtuous Indignation At A Sinner's Confession,  Mr. Pike Showed It Now. "That's How You Were About In The Stubble-Field Setting Your Traps,  You Young Villain! I Saw The Coroner Look At You. And Now About Lord Hartledon. What Did You See?"   Master Ripper Rubbed The Perspiration From His Face As He Went On With His Tale. Pike Listened With All The Ears He Possessed And Said Not A Word,  Beyond Sundry Rough Exclamations,  Until The Tale Was Done.   "You Awful Young Dog! You Saw All That From The Kitchen-Window,  And Never Tried To Get Out Of It!"   "I _Couldn't_ Get Out Of It," Pleaded The Boy. "It's Got A Wire-Net Before It,  And I Couldn't Break That."   "You Are Strong Enough To Break It Ten Times Over," Retorted Pike.   "But Then Master Would Ha' Known I'd Been In The Mill!" Cried The Boy,  A Gleam Of Cunning In His Eyes.   "Ugh," Grunted Pike. "And You Saw Exactly What You've Told Me?"   "I Saw It And Heard The Cries."   "Did He See You?"   "No; I Was Afeard To Show Myself. When Master Come Home,  The First Thing He Did Was T' Unlock That There Staircase Door,  And I Got Out Without His Seeing Me--"   "Where Did You Hide The Grain You Were Loaded With?" Demanded Pike.   "I'd Emptied It Out Again In The Store-Room," Returned The Boy. "I Told Master There Were A Loose Skiff Out There,  And He Come Out And Secured It. Them Harvesters Come Up Next And Got Him Out Of The Water."   "Yes,  You Could See Fast Enough What You Were Looking For! Well,  Young Rip," Continued Mr. Pike,  Consolingly,  "You Stand About As Rich A Chance Of Being Hanged As Ever You'll Stand In All Your Born Days. If You'd Jumped Through That Wire You'd Have Saved My Lord,  And He'd Have Made It Right For You With Old Floyd. I'd Advise You To Keep A Silent Tongue In Your Head,  If You Want To Save Your Neck."   "I Was Keeping It,  Till You Come And Made Me Tell With That There Pistol," Howled The Boy. "You Won't Go And Split On Me?" He Asked,  With Trembling Lips.   "I Won't Split On You About The Grain," Graciously Promised Pike. "It's No Business Of Mine. As To The Other Matter--Well,  I'll Not Say Anything About That; At Any Rate,  Yet Awhile. You Keep It A Secret; So Will I."   Without Another Word,  Pike Extended His Hand As A Signal That The Culprit Was At Liberty To Depart; And He Did So As Fast As His Legs Would Carry Him. Pike Then Returned The Pistol To His Pocket And Took His Way Back To Calne In A Thoughtful And Particularly Ungenial Mood. There Was A Doubt Within Him Whether The Boy Had Disclosed The Truth,  Even To Him.   Perhaps On No One--With The Exception Of Percival--Did The Death Of Lord Hartledon Leave Its Effects As It Did On Lady Kirton And Her Daughter Maude. To The One It Brought Embarrassment; To The Other,  What Seemed Very Like A Broken Heart. The Countess-Dowager's Tactics Must Change As By Magic. She Had To Transfer The Affection And Consideration Evinced For Edward Lord Hartledon To His Brother; And To Do It Easily And Naturally. She Had To Obliterate From The Mind Of The Latter Her Overbearing Dislike To Him,  Cause Her Insults To Be Remembered No More. A Difficult Task, Even For Her,  Wily Woman As She Was.   How Was It To Be Done? For Three Long Hours The Night After Lord Hartledon's Death,  She Lay Awake,  Thinking Out Her Plans; Perhaps For The First Time In Her Life,  For Obtuse Natures Do Not Lie Awake. The Death Had Affected Her Only As Regarded Her Own Interests; She Could Feel For None And Regret None In Her Utter Selfishness. One Was Fallen,  But Another Had Risen Up. "Le Roi Est Mort: Vive Le Roi!"   On The Day Following The Death She Had Sought An Interview With Percival. Never A Woman Evinced Better Tact Than She. There Was No Violent Change In Her Manner,  No Apologies For The Past,  Or Display Of Sudden Affection. She Spoke Quietly And Sensibly Of Passing Topics: The Death,  And What Could Have Led To It; The Immediate Business On Hand,  Some Of The Changes It Entailed In The Future. "I'll Stay With You Still,  Percival," She Said,  "And Look After Things A Bit For You,  As I Have Been Doing For Your Brother. It Is An Awful Shock,  And We Must All Have Time To Get Over It. If I Had Only Foreseen This,  How I Might Have Spared My Temper And Poor Maude's Feelings!"   She Looked Out Of The Corner Of Her Eye At The Young Man; But He Betrayed No Curiosity To Hear More,  And She Went On Unasked.   "You Know,  Val,  For A Portionless Girl,  As Maude Is,  It Was A Great Blow To Me When I Found Her Fixing Her Heart Upon A Younger Son. How Cross And Unjust It Made Me I Couldn't Conceal: Mothers Are Mothers. I Wanted Her To Take A Fancy To Hartledon,  Dear Fellow,  And I Suppose She Could Not, And It Rendered Me Cross; And I Know I Worried Her And Worried My Own Temper,  Till At Times I Was Not Conscious Of What I Said. Poor Maude! She Did Not Rebel Openly,  But I Could See Her Struggles. Only A Week Ago, When Hartledon Was Talking About His Marrying Sometime,  And Hinting That She Might Care Fox Him If She Tried,  She Scored Her Beautiful Drawing All Over With Ugly Marks; Ran The Pencil Through It--"   "But Why Do You Tell Me This Now?" Asked Val.   "Hartledon--Dear Me! I Wonder How Long I Shall Be Getting Accustomed To Your Name?--There's Only You And Me And Maude Left Now Of The Family," Cried The Dowager; "And If I Speak Of Such Things,  It Is In Fulness Of Heart. And Now About These Letters: Do You Care How They Are Worded?"   "I Don't Seem To Care About Anything," Listlessly Answered The Young Man. "As To The Letters,  I Think I'd Rather Write Them Myself,  Lady Kirton."   "Indeed You Shall Not Have Any Trouble Of That Sort To-Day. _I'll_ Write The Letters,  And You May Indulge Yourself In Doing Nothing."   He Yielded In His Unstable Nature. She Spoke Of Business Letters,  And It Was Better That He Should Write Them; He Wished To Write Them; But She Carried Her Point,  And His Will Yielded To Hers. Would It Be A Type Of The Future?--Would He Yield To Her In Other Things In Defiance Of His Better Judgment? Alas! Alas!   She Picked Up Her Skirts And Left Him,  And Went Sailing Upstairs To Her Daughter's Room. Maude Was Sitting Shivering In A Shawl,  Though The Day Was Hot.   "I've Paved The Way," Nodded The Old Woman,  In Meaning Tones. "And There's One Fortunate Thing About Val: He Is So Truthful Himself,  One May Take Him In With His Eyes Open."   Maude Turned _Her_ Eyes Upon Her Mother: Very Languid And Unspeculative Eyes Just Then.   "I Gave Him A Hint,  Maude,  That You Had Been Unable To Bring Yourself To Like Hartledon,  But Had Fixed Your Mind On A Younger Son. Later,  We'll Let Him Suspect Who The Younger Son Was."   The Words Aroused Maude; She Started Up And Stood Staring At Her Mother, Her Eyes Dilating With A Sort Of Horror; Her Pale Cheeks Slowly Turning Crimson.   "I Don't Understand," She Gasped; "I _Hope_ I Don't Understand. You--You Do Not Mean That I Am To Try To Like Val Elster?"   "Now,  Maude,  No Heroics. I'll Not See _You_ Make A Fool Of Yourself As Your Sisters Have Done. He's Not Val Elster Any Longer; He Is Lord Hartledon: Better-Looking Than Ever His Brother Was,  And Will Make A Better Husband,  For He'll Be More Easily Led."   "I Would Not Marry Val For The Whole World," She Said,  With Strong Emotion. "I Dislike Him; I Hate Him; I Never Could Be A Wife To Val Elster."   "We'll See," Said The Dowager,  Pushing Up Her Front,  Of Which She Had Just Caught Sight In A Glass.   "Thank Heaven,  There's No Fear Of It!" Resumed Maude,  Collecting Her Senses,  And Sitting Down Again With A Relieved Sigh; "He Is To Marry Anne Ashton. Thank Heaven That He Loves Her!"   "Anne Ashton!" Scornfully Returned The Countess-Dowager. "She Might Have Been Tolerated When He Was Val Elster,  Not Now He Is Lord Hartledon. What Notions You Have,  Maude!"   Maude Burst Into Tears. "Mamma,  I Think It Is Fearfully Indecent For You To Begin Upon These Things Already! It Only Happened Last Night,  And--And It Sounds Quite Horrible."   "When One Has To Live As I Do,  One Has To Do Many Things Decent And Indecent," Retorted The Countess-Dowager Sharply. "He Has Had His Hint, And You've Got Yours: And You Are No True Girl If You Suffer Yourself Now To Be Triumphed Over By Anne Ashton."   Maude Cried On Silently,  Thinking How Cruel Fate Was To Have Taken One Brother And Spared The Other. Who--Save Anne Ashton--Would Have Missed Val Elster; While Lord Hartledon--At Least He Had Made The Life Of One Heart. A Poor Bruised Heart Now; Never,  Never To Be Made Quite Whole Again.   Thus The Dowager,  In Her Blindness,  Began Her Plans. In Her Blindness! If We Could Only Foresee The Ending Of Some Of The Unholy Schemes That Many Of Us Are Apt To Weave,  We Might Be More Willing To Leave Them Humbly In A Higher Hand Than Ours. Do They Ever Bring Forth Good,  These Plans,  Born Of Our Evil Passions--Hatred,  Malice,  Utter Selfishness? I Think Not. They May Seem To Succeed Triumphantly,  But--Watch The Triumph To The End.   Chapter 13 (Fever) The Dews Of An October Evening Were Falling Upon Calne,  As Lord Hartledon Walked From The Railway-Station. Just As Unexpectedly As He Had Arrived The Morning You First Saw Him,  When He Was Only Val Elster,  Had He Arrived Now. By The Merest Accident One Of The Hartledon Servants Happened To Be At The Station When The Train Arrived,  And Took Charge Of His Master's Luggage.   "All Well At Home,  James?"   "All Quite Well,  My Lord."   Several Weeks Had Elapsed Since His Brother's Death,  And Lord Hartledon Had Spent Them In London. He Went Up On Business The Week After The Funeral,  And Did Not Return Again. In One Respect He Had No Inducement To Return; For The Ashtons,  Including Anne,  Were On A Visit In Wales. They Were At Home Now,  As He Knew Well; And Perhaps That Had Brought Him Down.   He Went In Unannounced,  Finding His Way To The Inner Drawing-Room. A Large Fire Blazed In The Grate,  And Lady Maude Sat By It So Intent In Thought As Not To Observe His Entrance. She Wore A Black Crepe Dress, With A Little White Trimming On Its Low Body And Sleeves. The Firelight Played On Her Beautiful Features; And Her Eyelashes Glistened As If With Tears: She Was Thinner And Paler; He Saw It At Once. The Countess-Dowager Kept To Hartledon And Showed No Intention Of Moving From It: She And Her Daughter Had Been There Alone All These Weeks.   "How Are You,  Maude?"   She Looked Round And Started Up,  Backing From Him With A Face Of Alarm. Ah,  Was It _Instinct_ Caused Her So To Receive Him? What,  Or Who,  Was She Thinking Of; Holding Her Hands Before Her With That Face Of Horror?   "Maude,  Have I So Startled You?"   "Percival! I Beg Your Pardon. I Believe I Was Thinking Of--Of Your Brother,  And I Really Did Not Know You In The Uncertain Light. We Don't Have The Rooms Lighted Early," She Added,  With A Little Laugh.   He Took Her Hands In His. Now That She Knew Him,  And The Alarm Was Over, She Seemed Really Pleased To See Him: The Dark Eyes Were Raised To His With A Frank Smile.   "May I Take A Cousin's Greeting,  Maude?"   Without Waiting For Yes Or No,  He Stooped And Took The Kiss. Maude Flung His Hands Away. He Should Have Left Out The "Cousin," Or Not Have Taken The Kiss.   He Went And Stood With His Elbow On The Mantelpiece,  Soberly,  As If He Had Only Kissed A Sister. Maude Sat Down Again.   "Why Did You Not Send Us Word You Were Coming?" She Asked.   "There Was No Necessity For It. And I Only Made My Mind Up This Morning."   "What A Long Time You Have Been Away! I Thought You Went For A Week."   "I Did Not Get My Business Over Very Quickly; And Waited Afterwards To See Thomas Carr,  Who Was Out Of Town. The Ashtons Were Away,  You Know; So I Had No Inducement To Hurry Back Again."   "Very Complimentary To _Her_. Who's Thomas Carr?" Asked Maude.   "A Barrister; The Greatest Friend I Possess In This World. We Were At College Together,  And He Used To Keep Me Straight."   "Keep You Straight! Val!"   "It's Quite True. I Went To Him In All My Scrapes And Troubles. He Is The Most Honourable,  Upright,  Straightforward Man I Know; And,  As Such, Possesses A Talent For Serving--"   "Hartledon! Is It _You_?"   The Interruption Came From The Dowager. She And The Butler Came In Together,  Both Looking Equally Astonished At The Appearance Of Lord Hartledon. The Former Said Dinner Was Served.   "Will You Let Me Sit Down In This Coat?" Asked Val.   The Countess-Dowager Would Willingly Have Allowed Him To Sit Down Without Any. Her Welcome Was Demonstrative; Her Display Of Affection Quite Warm, And She Called Him "Val," Tenderly. He Escaped For A Minute To His Room, Washed His Hands,  Brushed His Hair,  And Was Down Again,  And Taking The Head Of His Own Table.   It Was Pleasant To Have Him There--A Welcome Change From Hartledon's Recent Monotony; And Even Maude,  With Her Boasted Dislike,  Felt Prejudice Melting Away. Boasted Dislike,  Not Real,  It Had Been. None Could Dislike Percival. He Was Not Edward,  And It Was Him Maude Had Loved. Percival She Never Would Love,  But She Might Learn To Like Him. As He Sat Near Her,  In His Plain Black Morning Attire,  Courteous,  Genuinely Sweet-Tempered,  His Good Looks Conspicuous,  A Smile On His Delicate,  Refined,  But Vacillating Lips,  And His Honest Dark-Blue Eyes Bent Upon Her In Kindness,  Maude For The First Time Admitted A Vision Of The Possible Future,  Together With A Dim Consciousness That It Might Not Be Intolerable. Half The World,  Of Her Age And Sex,  Would Have Deemed It Indeed A Triumph To Be Made The Wife Of That Attractive Man.   He Had Cautiously Stood Aside For Lady Kirton To Take The Head Of The Table; But The Dowager Had Positively Refused,  And Subsided Into The Chair At The Foot. She Did Not Fill It In Dear Edward's Time,  She Said; Neither Should She In Dear Val's; He Had Come Home To Occupy His Own Place. And Oh,  Thank Goodness He Was Come! She And Maude Had Been So Lonely And Miserable,  Growing Thinner Daily From Sheer _Ennui_. So She Faced Lord Hartledon At The End Of The Table,  Her Flaxen Curls Surmounted By An Array Of Black Plumes,  And Looking Very Like A Substantial Female Mute.   "What An Awful Thing That Is About The Rectory!" Exclaimed She,  When They Were More Than Half Through Dinner.   Lord Hartledon Looked Up Quietly. "What Is The Matter At The Rectory?"   "Fever Has Broken Out."   "Is That All!" He Exclaimed,  Some Amusement On His Face. "I Thought It Must Have Taken Fire."   "A Fever's Worse Than A Fire."   "Do You Think So?"   "_Think So!_" Echoed The Dowager. "You Can Run Away From A Fire; But A Fever May Take You Before You Are Aware Of It. Every Soul In The Rectory May Die; It May Spread To The Parish; It May Spread Here. I Have Kept Tar Burning Outside The House The Last Two Days."   "You Are Not Serious,  Lady Kirton!"   "I Am Serious. I Wouldn't Catch A Fever For The Whole World. I Should Die Of Fright Before It Had Time To Kill Me. Besides--I Have Maude To Guard. You Were Forgetting Her."   "There's No Danger At All. One Of The Servants Became Ill After They Returned Home,  And It Proved To Be Fever. I Don't Suppose It Will Spread."   "How Did _You_ Hear About It?"   "From Miss Ashton. She Mentioned It In Her Last Letter To Me."   "I Didn't Know You Corresponded With Her," Cried The Dowager,  Her Tones Rather Shrill.   "Not Correspond With Miss Ashton!" He Repeated. "Of Course I Do."   The Old Dowager Had A Fit Of Choking: Something Had Gone The Wrong Way, She Said. Lord Hartledon Resumed.   "It Is An Awful Shame Of Those Seaside Lodging-House People! Did You Hear The Particulars,  Maude? After The Ashtons Concluded Their Visit In Wales, They Went For A Fortnight To The Seaside,  On Their Way Home,  Taking Lodgings. Some Days After They Had Been Settled In The Rooms They Discovered That Some Fever Was In The House; A Family Who Occupied Another Set Of Apartments Being Ill With It,  And Had Been Ill Before The Ashtons Went In. Dr. Ashton Told The Landlady What He Thought Of Her Conduct,  And Then They Left The House For Home. But Mrs. Ashton's Maid, Matilda,  Had Already Taken It."   "Did Miss Ashton Give You These Particulars?" Asked Maude,  Toying With A Late Rose That Lay Beside Her Plate.   "Yes. I Should Feel Inclined To Prosecute The Woman,  Were I Dr. Ashton, For Having Been So Wickedly Inconsiderate. But I Hope Matilda Is Better, And That The Alarm Will End With Her. It Is Four Days Since I Had Anne's Letter."   "Then,  Lord Hartledon,  I Can Tell You The Alarm's Worse,  And Another Has Taken It,  And The Parish Is Up In Arms," Said The Countess-Dowager, Tartly. "It Has Proved To Be Fever Of A Most Malignant Type,  And Not A Soul But Hillary The Surgeon Goes Near The Rectory,  You Must Not Venture Within Half-A-Mile Of It. Dr. Ashton Was So Careless As To Occupy His Pulpit On Sunday; But,  Thank Goodness,  I Did Not Venture To Church, Or Allow Maude To Go. Your Miss Ashton Will Be Having It Next."   "Of Course They Have Advice From Garchester?" He Exclaimed.   "How Should I Know? My Opinion Is That The Parson Himself Might Be Prosecuted For Bringing The Fever Into A Healthy Neighbourhood. Port, Hedges! One Has Need Of A Double Portion Of Tonics In A Time Like This."   The Countess-Dowager's Alarms Were Not Feigned--No,  Nor Exaggerated. She Had An Intense,  Selfish Fear Of Any Sort Of Illness; She Had A Worse Fear Of Death. In Any Time Of Public Epidemic Her Terrors Would Have Been Almost Ludicrous In Their Absurdity But That They Were So Real. And She "Fortified" Herself Against Infection By Eating And Drinking More Than Ever.   Nothing Else Was Said: She Shunned Allusion To It When She Could: And Presently She And Maude Left The Dining-Room. "You Won't Be Long, Hartledon?" She Observed,  Sweetly,  As She Passed Him. Val Only Bowed In Answer,  Closed The Door Upon Them,  And Rang For Hedges.   "Is There Much Alarm Regarding This Fever At The Rectory?" He Asked Of The Butler.   "Not Very Much,  I Think,  My Lord. A Few Are Timid About It; As Is Always The Case. One Of The Other Servants Has Taken It; But Mr. Hillary Told Me When He Was Here This Morning That He Hoped It Would Not Spread Beyond The Rectory."   "Was Hillary Here This Morning? Nobody's Ill?" Asked Lord Hartledon, Quickly.   "No One At All,  My Lord. The Countess-Dowager Sent For Him,  To Ask What Her Diet Had Better Be,  And How She Could Guard Against Infection More Effectually Than She Was Doing. She Did Not Allow Him To Come In,  But Spoke To Him From One Of The Upper Windows,  With A Cloak And Respirator On."   Lord Hartledon Looked At His Butler; The Man Was Suppressing A Grim Smile.   "Nonsense,  Hedges!"   "It's Quite True,  My Lord. Mrs. Mirrable Says She Has Five Bowls Of Disinfectant In Their Rooms."   Lord Hartledon Broke Into A Laugh,  Not Suppressed.   "And In The Courtyard,  Looking Towards The Rectory,  As May Be Said, There's Several Pitch-Pots Alight Night And Day," Added Hedges. "We Have Had A Host Of People Up,  Wanting To Know If The Place Is On Fire."   "What A Joke!" Cried Val--Who Was Not Yet Beyond The Age To Enjoy Such Jokes. "Hedges," He Resumed,  In A More Confidential Tone,  "No Strangers Have Been Here Inquiring For Me,  I Suppose?"   He Alluded To Creditors,  Or People Acting For Them. To A Careless Man,  As Val Had Been,  It Was A Difficult Matter To Know Whether All His Debts Were Paid Or Not. He Had Settled What He Remembered; But There Might Be Others. Hedges Understood; And His Voice Fell To The Same Low Tone: He Had Been Pretty Cognizant Of The Embarrassments Of Mr. Percival Elster.   "Nobody At All,  My Lord. They Wouldn't Have Got Much Information Out Of Me,  If They Had Come."   Lord Hartledon Laughed. "Things Are Changed Now,  Hedges,  And They May Have As Much Information As They Choose. Bring Me Coffee Here; Make Haste."   Coffee Was Brought,  And He Went Out As Soon As He Had Taken It,  Following The Road To The Rectory. It Was A Calm,  Still Night,  The Moon Tolerably Bright; Not A Breath Of Wind Stirred The Air,  Warm And Oppressive For October; Not By Any Means The Sort Of Night Doctors Covet When Fever Is In The Atmosphere.   He Turned In At The Rectory-Gates,  And Was Crossing To The House,  When A Rustling Of Leaves In A Shrubbery Path Caused Him To Look Over The Dwarf Laurels,  And There Stood Anne. He Was At Her Side In An Instant. She Had Nothing On Her Head,  As Though She Had Just Come Forth From The Rooms For A Breath Of Air. As Indeed Was The Case.   "My Darling!"   "I Heard You Had Come," She Whispered,  As He Held Both Her Hands In His, And Her Heart Bounded With An Exquisite Flutter Of Delight.   "How Did You Hear That?" He Said,  Placing Her Hand Within His Arm,  That He Might Pace The Walk With Her.   "Papa Heard It. Some One Had Seen You Walking Home From The Train: I Think It Was Mr. Hillary. But,  Percival,  Ought You To Have Come Here?" She Added In Alarm. "This Is Infected Ground,  You Know."   "Not For Me. I Have No More Fear Of Fever Than I Have Of Moonstroke. Anne,  I Hope _You_ Will Not Take It," He Gravely Added.   "I Hope Not,  Either. Like You,  I Have No Fear Of It. I Am So Glad Arthur Is Away. Was It Not Wrong Of That Landlady To Let Her Rooms To Us When She Had Fever In Them?"   "Infamously Wrong," Said Lord Hartledon Warmly.   "She Excused Herself Afterwards By Saying,  That As The People Who Had The Fever Were In Quite A Different Part Of The House From Ours,  She Thought There Could Be No Danger. Papa Was So Angry. He Told Her He Was Sorry The Law Did Not Take Cognizance Of Such An Offence. We Had Been A Week In The House Before We Knew Of It."   "How Did You Find It Out?"   "The Lady Who Was Ill With It Died,  And Matilda Saw The Coffin Going Up The Back Stairs. She Questioned The Servants Of The House,  And One Of Them Told Her All About It Then,  Bit By Bit. Another Lady Was Lying Ill, And A Third Was Recovering. The Landlady,  By Way Of Excuse,  Said The Greatest Wrong Had Been Done To Herself,  For These Ladies Had Brought The Fever Into Her House,  And Brought It Deliberately. Fever Had Broken Out In Their Own Home,  Some Long Way Off,  And They Ran Away From It,  And Took Her Apartments,  Saying Nothing; Which Was True,  We Found."   "Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right," Observed Lord Hartledon. "Their Bringing The Fever Into Her House Was No Justification For Receiving You Into It When It Was There. It's The Way Of The World,  Anne: One Wrong Leading To Others. Is Matilda Getting Over It?"   "I Hardly Know. She Is Not Out Of Danger; But Mr. Hillary Has Hopes Of Her. One Of The Other Servants Has Taken It,  And Is Worse Than Matilda. Mr. Hillary Has Been With Her Three Times To-Day,  And Is Coming Again. She Was Ill When I Last Wrote To You,  Val; But We Did Not Know It."   "Which Of Them Is It?" He Asked.   "The Dairymaid; A Stout Girl,  Who Has Never Had A Day's Illness Before. I Don't Suppose You Know Her. There Was Some Trouble With Her. She Would Not Take Any Medicine; Would Not Do Anything She Ought To Have Done,  And The Consequence Is That The Fever Has Got Dangerously Ahead. I Am Sure She Is Very Ill."   "I Hope It Will Not Spread Beyond The Rectory."   "Oh,  Val,  That Is Our One Great Hope," She Said,  Turning Her Earnest Face To Him In The Moonlight. "We Are Taking All Possible Precautions. None Of Us Are Going Beyond The Grounds,  Except Papa,  And We Do Not Receive Any One Here. I Don't Know What Papa Will Say To Your Coming."   He Smiled. "But You Can't Keep All The World Away!"   "We Do--Very Nearly. Mr. Hillary Comes,  And Dr. Beamish From Garchester, And One Or Two People Have Been Here On Business. If Any One Calls At The Gate,  They Are Not Asked In; And I Don't Suppose They Would Come In If Asked. Jabez Gum's The Most Obstinate. He Comes In Just As Usual."   "Lady Kirton Is In An Awful Fright," Said Val,  In An Amused Tone.   "Oh,  I Have Heard Of It," Cried Anne,  Clasping Her Hands In Laughter. "She Is Burning Tar Outside The House; And She Spoke To Mr. Hillary This Morning Through The Window Muffled Up In A Cloak And Respirator. What A Strange Old Thing She Is!"   Val Shrugged His Shoulders. "I Don't Think She Means Badly _Au Fond_; And She Has No Home,  Poor Creature."   "Is That Why She Remains At Hartledon?"   "I Suppose So. Reigning At Hartledon Must Be Something Like A Glimpse Of Paradise To Her. She Won't Quit It In A Hurry."   "I Wonder You Like To Have Her There."   "I Know I Shall Never Have Courage To Tell Her To Go," Was The Candid And Characteristic Answer. "I Was Afraid Of Her As A Boy,  And I'm Not Sure But I'm Afraid Of Her Still."   "I Don't Like Her--I Don't Like Either Of Them," Said Anne In A Low Tone.   "Don't You Like Maude?"   "No. I Am Sure She Is Not True. To My Mind There Is Something Very False About Them Both."   "I Think You Are Wrong,  Anne; Certainly As Regards Maude."   Miss Ashton Did Not Press Her Opinion: They Were His Relatives. "But I Should Have Pitied Poor Edward Had He Lived And Married Her," She Said, Following Out Her Thoughts.   "I Was Mistaken When I Thought Maude Cared For Edward," Observed Lord Hartledon. "I'm Sure I Did Think It. I Used To Tell Edward So; But A Day Or Two After He Died I Found I Was Wrong. The Dowager Had Been Urging Maude To Like Him,  And She Could Not,  And It Made Her Miserable."   "Did Maude Tell You This?" Inquired Anne; Her Radiant Eyes Full Of Surprise.   "Not Maude: She Never Said A Word To Me Upon The Subject. It Was The Dowager."   "Then,  Val,  She Must Have Said It With An Object In View. I Am Sure Maude Did Love Him. I Know She Did."   He Shook His Head. "You Are Wrong,  Anne,  Depend Upon It. She Did Not Like Him,  And She And Her Mother Were At Variance Upon The Point. However,  It Is Of No Moment To Discuss It Now: And It Might Never Have Come To An Issue Had Edward Lived,  For He Did Not Care For Her; And I Dare Say Never Would Have Cared For Her."   Anne Said No More. It Was Of No Moment As He Observed; But She Retained Her Own Opinion. They Strolled To The End Of The Short Walk In Silence, And Anne Said She Must Go In.   "Am I Quite Forgiven?" Whispered Lord Hartledon,  Bending His Head Down To Her.   "I Never Thought I Had Very Much To Forgive," She Rejoined,  After A Pause.   "My Darling! I Mean By Your Father."   "Ah,  I Don't Know. You Must Talk To Him. He Knows We Have Been Writing To Each Other. I Think He Means To Trust You."   "The Best Plan Will Be For You To Come Soon To Hartledon,  Anne. I Shall Never Go Wrong When Once You Are My Wife."   "Do You Go So Very Wrong Now?" She Asked.   "On My Honour,  No! You Need Not Doubt Me,  Anne; Now Or Ever. I Have Paid Up What I Owed,  And Will Take Very Good Care To Keep Out Of Trouble For The Future. I Incurred Debts For Others,  More Than For Myself,  And Have Bought Experience Dearly. My Darling,  Surely You Can Trust Me Now?"   "I Always Did Trust You," She Murmured.   He Took A Long,  Fervent Kiss From Her Lips,  And Then Led Her To The Open Lawn And Across To The House.   "Ought You To Come In,  Percival?"   "Certainly. One Word,  Anne; Because I May Be Speaking To The Rector--I Don't Mean To-Night. You Will Make No Objection To Coming Soon To Hartledon?"   "I Can't Come,  You Know,  As Long As Lady Kirton Is Its Mistress," She Said,  Half Seriously,  Half Jestingly.   He Laughed At The Notion. Lady Kirton Must Be Going Soon Of Her Own Accord; If Not,  He Should Have To Pluck Up Courage And Give Her A Hint, Was His Answer. At Any Rate,  She'd Surely Take Herself Off Before Christmas. The Old Dowager At Hartledon After He Had Anne There! Not If He Knew It,  He Added,  As He Went On With Her Into The Presence Of Dr. And Mrs. Ashton. The Rector Started From His Seat,  At Once Telling Him That He Ought Not To Have Come In. Which Val Did Not See At All,  And Decidedly Refused To Go Out Again.   Meanwhile The Countess-Dowager And Maude Were Wondering What Had Become Of Him. They Supposed He Was Still Sitting In The Dining-Room. The Old Dowager Fidgeted About,  Her Fingers Ominously Near The Bell. She Was Burning To Send To Him,  But Hardly Knew How He Might Take The Message: It Might Be That He Would Object To Leading Strings,  And Her Attempt To Put Them On Would Ruin All. But The Time Went On; Grew Late; And She Was Dying For Her Tea,  Which She Had Chosen Should Wait Also. Maude Sat Before The Fire In A Large Chair; Her Eyes,  Her Hands,  Her Whole Air Supremely Listless.   "Don't You Want Tea,  Maude?" Suddenly Cried Her Mother,  Who Had Cast Innumerable Glances At Her From Time To Time.   "I Have Wanted It For Hours--As It Seems To Me."   "It's A Horrid Custom For Young Men,  This Sitting Long After Dinner. If He Gets Into It--But You Must See To That,  And Stop It,  If Ever You Reign At Hartledon. I Dare Say He's Smoking."   "If Ever I Reign At Hartledon--Which I Am Not Likely To Do--I'll Take Care Not To Wait Tea For Any One,  As You Have Made Me Wait For It This Evening," Was Maude's Rejoinder,  Spoken With Apathy.   "I'll Send A Message To Him," Decided Lady Kirton,  Ringing Rather Fiercely.   A Servant Appeared.   "Tell Lord Hartledon We Are Waiting Tea For Him."   "His Lordship's Not In,  My Lady."   "Not In!"   "He Went Out Directly After Dinner,  As Soon As He Had Taken Coffee."   "Oh," Said The Countess-Dowager. And She Began To Make The Tea With Vehemence--For It Did Not Please Her To Have It Brought In Made--And Knocked Down And Broke One Of The Delicate China Cups. Chapter 14 (Another Patient) It Was Eleven O'clock When Lord Hartledon Entered. Lady Kirton Was Fanning Herself Vehemently. Maude Had Gone Upstairs For The Night.   "Where Have You Been?" She Asked,  Laying Down Her Fan. "We Waited Tea For You Until Poor Maude Got Quite Exhausted."   "Did You? I Am Sorry For That. Never Wait For Me,  Pray,  Lady Kirton. I Took Tea At The Rectory."   "Took--Tea--Where?"   "At The Rectory."   With A Shriek The Countess-Dowager Darted To The Far End Of The Room, Turning Up Her Gown As She Went,  And Muffling It Over Her Head And Face, So That Only The Little Eyes,  Round Now With Horror,  Were Seen. Lord Hartledon Gazed In Amazement.   "You Have Been At The Rectory,  When I Warned You Not To Go! You Have Been Inside That House Of Infection,  And Come Home--Here--To Me--To My Darling Maude! May Heaven Forgive You,  Hartledon!"   "Why,  What Have I Done? What Harm Will It Do?" Exclaimed The Astonished Man. He Would Have Approached Her,  But She Warned Him From Her Piteously With Her Hands. She Was At The Upper End Of The Room,  And He Near The Door,  So That She Could Not Leave It Without Passing Him. Hedges Came In,  And Stood Staring In The Same Wondering Astonishment As His Master.   "For Mercy's Sake,  Take Off Every Shred Of Your Clothes!" She Cried. "You May Have Brought Home Death In Them. They Shall Be Thrown Into The Burning Tar. Do You Want To Kill Us? What Has Maude Done To You That You Behave In This Way?"   "I Do Think You Must Be Going Mad!" Cried Lord Hartledon,  In Bewilderment; "And I Hope You'll Forgive Me For Saying So. I--"   "Go And Change Your Clothes!" Was All She Could Reiterate. "Every Minute You Stand In Them Is Fraught With Danger. If You Choose To Die Yourself, It's Downright Wicked To Bring Death To Us. Oh,  Go,  That I May Get Out Of Here."   Lord Hartledon,  To Pacify Her,  Left The Room,  And The Countess-Dowager Rushed Forth And Bolted Herself Into Her Own Apartments.   Was She Mad,  Or Making A Display Of Affectation,  Or Genuinely Afraid? Wondered Lord Hartledon Aloud,  As He Went Up To His Chamber. Hedges Gave It As His Opinion That She Was Really Afraid,  Because She Had Been As Bad As This When She First Heard Of The Illness,  Before His Lordship Arrived. Val Retired To Rest Laughing: It Was A Good Joke To Him.   But It Was No Joke To The Countess-Dowager,  As He Found To His Cost When The Morning Came. She Got Him Out Of His Chamber Betimes,  And Commenced A "Fumigating" Process. The Clothes He Had Worn She Insisted Should Be Burnt; Pleading So Piteously That He Yielded In His Good Nature.   But There Was To Be A Battle On Another Score. She Forbade Him,  In The Most Positive Terms,  To Go Again To The Rectory--To Approach Within Half-A-Mile Of It. Lord Hartledon Civilly Told Her He Could Not Comply; He Hinted That If Her Alarms Were So Great,  She Had Better Leave The Place Until All Danger Was Over,  And Thereby Nearly Entailed On Himself Another War-Dance.   News That Came Up That Morning From The Rectory Did Not Tend To Assuage Her Fears. The Poor Dairymaid Had Died In The Night,  And Another Servant, One Of The Men,  Was Sickening. Even Lord Hartledon Looked Grave: And The Countess-Dowager Wormed A Half Promise From Him,  In The Softened Feelings Of The Moment,  That He Would Not Visit The Infected House.   Before An Hour Was Over He Came To Her To Retract It. "I Cannot Be So Unfeeling,  So Unneighbourly,  As Not To Call," He Said. "Even Were My Relations Not What They Are With Miss Ashton,  I Could Not Do It. It's Of No Use Talking,  Ma'am; I Am Too Restless To Stay Away."   A Little Skirmish Of Words Ensued. Lady Kirton Accused Him Of Wishing To Sacrifice Them To His Own Selfish Gratification. Lord Hartledon Felt Uncomfortable At The Accusation. One Of The Best-Hearted Men Living,  He Did Nothing In His Vacillation. He Would Go In The Evening,  He Said To Himself,  When They Could Not Watch Him From The House.   But She Was Clever At Carrying Out Her Own Will,  That Countess-Dowager; More Than A Match For The Single-Minded Young Man. She Wrote An Urgent Letter To Dr. Ashton,  Setting Forth Her Own And Her Daughter's Danger If Her Nephew,  As She Styled Him,  Was Received At The Rectory; And She Despatched It Privately.   It Brought Forth A Letter From Dr. Ashton To Lord Hartledon; A Kind But Peremptory Mandate,  Forbidding Him To Show Himself At The Rectory Until The Illness Was Over. Dr. Ashton Reminded His Future Son-In-Law That It Was Not Particularly On His Own Account He Interposed This Veto,  But For The Sake Of The Neighbourhood Generally. If They Were To Prevent The Fever From Spreading,  It Was Absolutely Necessary That No Chance Visitors Should Be Running Into The Rectory And Out Of It Again,  To Carry Possible Infection To The Parish.   Lord Hartledon Could Only Acquiesce. The Note Was Written In Terms So Positive As Rather To Surprise Him; But He Never Suspected The Undercurrent That Had Been At Work. In His Straightforwardness He Showed The Letter To The Dowager,  Who Nodded Her Head Approvingly,  But Told No Tales.   And So His Days Went On In The Society Of The Two Women At Hartledon; And If He Found Himself Oppressed With _Ennui_ At First,  He Subsided Into A Flirtation With Maude,  And Forgot Care. Elster's Folly! He Was Not Hearing From Anne,  For It Was Thought Better That Even Notes Should Not Pass Out Of The Rectory.   Curiously To Relate,  The First Person Beyond The Rectory To Take The Illness Was The Man Pike. How He Could Have Caught It Was A Marvel To Calne. And Yet,  If Lady Kirton's Theory Were Correct,  That Infection Was Conveyed By Clothes,  It Might Be Accounted For,  And Clerk Gum Be Deemed The Culprit. One Evening After The Clerk Had Been For Some Little Time At The Rectory With Dr. Ashton,  He Met Pike In Going Out; Had Brushed Close To Him In Passing,  As He Well Remembered. However It Might Have Been,  In A Few Days After That Pike Was Found To Be Suffering From The Fever.   Whether He Would Have Died,  Lying Alone In That Shed,  Calne Did Not Decide; And Some Thought He Would,  Making No Sign; Some Thought Not,  But Would Have Called In Assistance. Mr. Hillary,  An Observant Man,  As Perhaps It Was Requisite He Should Be In Time Of Public Danger,  Halted One Morning To Speak To Clerk Gum,  Who Was Standing At His Own Gate.   "Have You Seen Anything Lately Of That Neighbour Of Yours,  Gum?"   "Which Neighbour?" Asked The Clerk,  In Tones That Seemed To Resent The Question.   Mr. Hillary Pointed His Umbrella In The Direction Of The Shed. "Pike."   "No,  I've Seen Nothing Of Him,  That I Remember."   "Neither Have I. What's More,  I've Seen No Smoke Coming Out Of The Chimney These Two Days. It Strikes Me He's Ill. It May Be The Fever."   "Gone Away,  Possibly," Remarked The Clerk,  After A Moment's Pause; "In The Same Unceremonious Manner That He Came."   "I Think Somebody Ought To See. He May Be Lying There Helpless."   "Little Matter If He Is," Growled The Clerk,  Who Seemed Put Out About Something Or Other.   "It's Not Like You To Say So,  Gum. You Might Step Over The Stile And See; You're Nearest To Him. Nobody Knows What The Man Is,  Or What He May Have Been; But Humanity Does Not Let Even The Worst Die Unaided."   "What Makes You Think He Has The Fever?" Asked The Clerk.   "I Only Say He May Have It; Having Seen Neither Him Nor His Smoke These Two Days. Never Mind; If It Annoys You To Do This,  I'll Look In Myself Some Time To-Day."   "You Wouldn't Get Admitted; He Keeps His Door Fastened," Returned Gum. "The Only Way To Get At Him Is To Shout Out To Him Through That Glazed Aperture He Calls His Window."   "Will You Do It--Or Shall I?"   "I'll Do It," Said The Clerk; "And Tell You If Your Services Are Wanted."   Mr. Hillary Walked Off At A Quick Pace. There Was A Good Deal Of Illness In Calne At That Season,  Though The Fever Had Not Spread.   Whether Clerk Gum Kept His Word,  Or Whether He Did Not,  Certain It Was That Mr. Hillary Heard Nothing From Him That Day. In The Evening The Clerk Was Sitting In His Office In A Thoughtful Mood,  Busy Over Some Accounts Connected With An Insurance Company For Which He Was Agent,  When He Heard A Quick Sharp Knock At The Front-Door.   "I Wonder If It's Hillary?" He Muttered,  As He Took The Candle And Rose To Open It.   Instead Of The Surgeon,  There Entered A Lady,  With Much Energy. It Was The _Bete Noire_ Of Clerk Gum's Life,  Mrs. Jones.   "What's The House Shut Up For At This Early Hour?" She Began. "The Door Locked,  The Shutters Up,  And The Blinds Down,  Just As If Everybody Was Dead Or Asleep. Where's Nance?"   "She's Out," Said The Clerk. "I Suppose She Shut Up Before She Went,  And I've Been In My Office All The Afternoon. Do You Want Anything?"   "Do I Want Anything!" Retorted Mrs. Jones. "I've Come In To Shelter From The Rain. It's Been Threatening All The Evening,  And It's Coming Down Now Like Cats And Dogs."   The Clerk Was Leading The Way To The Little Parlour; But She Ignored The Movement,  And Went On To The Kitchen. He Could Only Follow Her. "It's A Pity You Came Out When It Threatened Rain," Said He.   "Business Took Me Out," Replied Mrs. Jones. "I've Been Up To The Mill. I Heard Young Rip Was Ill,  And Going To Leave; So I Went Up To Ask If They'd Try Our Jim. But Young Rip Isn't Going To Leave,  And Isn't Ill, Mother Floyd Says,  Though It's Certain He's Not Well. She Can't Think What's The Matter With The Boy; He's Always Fancying He Sees Ghosts In The River. I've Had My Trapes For Nothing."   She Had Given Her Gown A Good Shake From The Rain-Drops In The Middle Of The Kitchen,  And Was Now Seated Before The Fire. The Clerk Stood By The Table,  Occasionally Snuffing The Candle,  And Wishing She'd Take Herself Off Again.   "Where's Nancy Gone?" Asked She.   "I Didn't Hear Her Say."   "And She'll Be Gone A Month Of Sundays,  I Suppose. I Shan't Wait For Her, If The Rain Gives Over."   "You'd Be More Comfortable In The Small Parlour," Said The Clerk,  Who Seemed Rather Fidgety; "There's A Nice Bit Of Fire There."   "I'm More Comfortable Here," Contradicted Mrs. Jones. "Where's The Good Of A Bit Of Fire For A Gown As Wet As Mine?"   Jabez Gum Made No Response. There Was The Lady,  A Fixture; And He Could Only Resign Himself To The Situation.   "How's Your Friend At The Next House--Pike?" She Began Again Sarcastically.   "He's No Friend Of Mine," Said The Clerk.   "It Looks Like It,  At All Events; Or You'd Have Given Him Into Custody Long Ago. _I_ Wouldn't Let A Man Harbour Himself So Close To Me. He's Taken To A New Dodge Now: Going About With A Pistol To Shoot People."   "Who Says So?" Asked The Clerk.   "I Say So. He Frighted That Boy Ripper Pretty Near To Death. The Boy Tore Home One Night In A State Of Terror,  And All They Could Get Out Of Him Was That He'd Met Pike With A Pistol. It's Weeks Ago,  And He Hasn't Got Over It Yet."   "Did Pike Level It At Him?"   "I Tell You That's All They Could Get Out Of The Boy. He's A Nice Jail-Bird Too,  That Young Rip,  Unless I'm Mistaken. They Might As Well Send Him Away,  And Make Room For Our Jim."   "I Think You Are About The Most Fanciful,  Unjust,  Selfish Woman In Calne!" Exclaimed The Clerk,  Unable To Keep Down His Anger Any Longer. "You'd Take Young Ripper's Character Away Without Scruple,  Just Because His Place Might Suit Your Jim!"   "I'm What?" Shrieked Mrs. Jones. "I'm Unjust,  Am I--"   An Interruption Occurred,  And Mrs. Jones Subsided Into Silence. The Back-Door Suddenly Opened,  Not A Couple Of Yards From That Lady's Head, And In Came Mrs. Gum In Her Ordinary Indoor Dress,  Two Basins In Her Hand. The Sight Of Her Visitor Appeared To Occasion Her Surprise; She Uttered A Faint Scream,  And Nearly Dropped The Basins.   "Lawk A Mercy! Is It Lydia Jones?"   Mrs. Jones Had Been Drawing A Quiet Deduction--The Clerk Had Said His Wife Was Out Only To Deceive Her. She Rose From Her Chair,  And Faced Him.   "I Thought You Told Me She Was Gone Out?"   The Clerk Coughed. He Looked At His Wife,  As If Asking An Explanation. The Meeker Of The Two Women Hastily Put Her Basins Down,  And Stood Looking From One To The Other,  Apparently Recovering Breath.   "Didn't You Go Out?" Asked The Clerk.   "I Was Going,  Gum,  But Stepped Out First To Collect My Basins,  And Then The Rain Came Down. I Had To Shelter Under The Wood-Shed,  It Was Peppering So."   "Collect Your Basins!" Interjected Mrs. Jones. "Where From?"   "I Put Them Out With Scraps For The Cats."   "The Cats Must Be Well Off In Your Quarter; Better Than Some Children In Others," Was The Rejoinder,  Delivered With An Unnecessary Amount Of Spite. "What Makes You So Out Of Breath?" She Tartly Asked.   "I Had A Bit Of A Fright," Said The Woman,  Simply. "My Breath Seems To Get Affected At Nothing Of Late,  Lydia."   "A Pity But You'd Your Hands Full Of Work,  As Mine Are: That's The Best Remedy For Fright," Said Mrs. Jones Sarcastically. "What Might Your Fright Have Been,  Pray?"   "I Was Standing,  Waiting To Dart Over Here,  When I Saw A Man Come Across The Waste Land And Make For Pike's Shed," Said Mrs. Gum,  Looking At Her Husband. "It Gave Me A Turn. We've Never Seen A Soul Go Near The Place Of An Evening Since Pike Has Been There."   "Why Should It Give You A Turn?" Asked Mrs. Jones,  Who Was In A Mood To Contradict Everything. "You've Seen Pike Often Enough Not To Be Frightened At Him When He Keeps His Distance."   "It Wasn't Pike,  Lydia. The Man Had An Umbrella Over Him,  And He Looked Like A Gentleman. Fancy Pike With An Umbrella!"   "Was It Mr. Hillary?" Interposed The Clerk.   She Shook Her Head. "I Don't Think So; But It Was Getting Too Dark To See. Any Way,  It Gave Me A Turn; And He's Gone Right Up To Pike's Shed."   "Gave You A Turn,  Indeed!" Scornfully Repeated Mrs. Jones. "I Think You're Getting More Of An Idiot Every Day,  Nance. It's To Be Hoped Somebody's Gone To Take Him Up; That's What Is To Be Hoped."   But Mr. Hillary It Was. Hearing Nothing From Jabez Gum All Day,  He Had Come To The Conclusion That That Respectable Man Had Ignored His Promise, And,  Unable To Divest Himself Of The Idea That Pike Was Ill,  In The Evening,  Having A Minute To Spare,  He Went Forth To See For Himself.   The Shed-Door Was Closed,  But Not Fastened,  And Mr. Hillary Went In At Once Without Ceremony. A Lighted Candle Shed Its Rays Around The Rude Dwelling-Room: And The First Thing He Saw Was A Young Man,  Who Did Not Look In The Least Like Pike,  Stretched Upon A Mattress; The Second Was A Bushy Black Wig And Appurtenances Lying On A Chair; And The Third Was A Formidable-Looking Pistol,  Conveniently Close To The Prostrate Invalid.   Quick As Thought,  The Surgeon Laid His Hand Upon The Pistol And Removed It To A Safe Distance. He Then Bent Over The Sick Man,  Examining Him With His Penetrating Eyes; And What He Saw Struck Him With Consternation So Great,  That He Sat Down On A Chair To Recover Himself,  Albeit Not Liable To Be Overcome By Emotion.   When He Left The Shed--Which Was Not For Nearly Half-An-Hour After He Had Entered It--He Heard Voices At Clerk Gum's Front-Door. The Storm Was Over,  And Their Visitor Was Departing. Mr. Hillary Took A Moment's Counsel With Himself,  Then Crossed The Stile And Appeared Amongst Them. Nodding To The Three Collectively,  He Gravely Addressed The Clerk And His Wife.   "I Have Come Here To Ask,  In The Name Of Our Common Humanity,  Whether You Will Put Aside Your Prejudices,  And Be Christians In A Case Of Need," He Began. "I Don't Forget That Once,  When An Epidemic Was Raging In Calne, You"--Turning To The Wife--"Were Active And Fearless,  Going About And Nursing The Sick When Almost All Others Held Aloof. Will You Do The Same Now By A Helpless Man?"   The Woman Trembled All Over. Clerk Gum Looked Questioningly At The Doctor. Mrs. Jones Was Taking In Everything With Eyes And Ears.   "This Neighbour Of Yours Has Caught The Fever. Some One Must Attend To Him,  Or He Will Lie There And Die. I Thought Perhaps You'd Do It,  Mrs. Gum,  For Our Saviour's Sake--If From No Other Motive."   She Trembled Excessively. "I Always Was Terribly Afraid Of That Man,  Sir, Since He Came," Said She,  With Marked Hesitation.   "But He Cannot Harm You Now. I Don't Ask You To Go In To Him One Day After He Is Well Again--If He Recovers. Neither Need You Be With Him As A Regular Nurse: Only Step In Now And Then To Give Him His Physic, Or Change The Wet Cloths On His Burning Head."   Mrs. Jones Found Her Voice. The Enormous Impudence Of The Surgeon's Request Had Caused Its Temporary Extinction.   "I'd See Pike In His Coffin Before I'd Go A-Nigh Him As A Nurse! What On Earth Will You Be Asking Next,  Mr. Hillary?"   "I Didn't Ask You,  Mrs. Jones: You Have Your Children To Attend To; Full Employment For One Pair Of Arms. Mrs. Gum Has Nothing To Do With Her Time; And Is Near At Hand Besides. Gum,  You Stand In Your Place By Dr. Ashton Every Sunday,  And Read Out To Us Of The Loving Mercy Of God: Will You Urge Your Wife To This Little Work Of Charity For His Sake?"   Jabez Gum Evidently Did Not Know What To Answer. On The One Hand,  He Could Hardly Go Against The Precepts He Had To Respond To As Clerk; On The Other,  There Was His Scorn And Hatred Of The Disreputable Arab.   "He's Such A Loose Character,  Sir," He Debated At Length.   "Possibly: When He Is Well. But He Is Ill Now,  And Could Not Be Loose If He Tried. Some One _Must_ Go In Now And Then To See After Him: It Struck Me That Perhaps Your Wife Would Do It,  For Humanity's Sake; And I Thought I'd Ask Her Before Going Further."   "She Can Do As She Likes," Said Jabez.   Mrs. Gum--As Unresisting In Her Nature As Ever Was Percival Elster--Yielded To The Prayer Of The Surgeon,  And Said She Would Do What She Could. But She Had Never Shown More Nervousness Over Anything Than She Was Showing As She Gave Her Answer.   "Then I Will Step Indoors And Give You A Few Plain Directions," Said The Surgeon. "Mrs. Jones Has Taken Her Departure,  I Perceive."   Mrs. Gum Was As Good As Her Word,  And Went In With Dire Trepidation. Calne's Sentiments,  On The Whole,  Resembled Mrs. Jones's,  And The Woman Was Blamed For Her Yielding Nature. But She Contrived,  With The Help Of Mr. Hillary's Skill,  To Bring The Man Through The Fever; And It Was Very Singular That No Other Person Out Of The Rectory Took It.   The Last One To Take It At The Rectory Was Mrs. Ashton. Of The Three Servants Who Had It,  One Had Died; The Other Two Recovered. Mrs. Ashton Did Not Take It Until The Rest Were Well,  And She Had It Lightly. Anne Nursed Her And Would Do So; And It Was An Additional Reason For Prolonging The Veto Against Lord Hartledon.   One Morning In December,  Val,  In Passing Down The Road,  Saw The Rectory Turned,  As He Called It,  Inside Out. Every Window Was Thrown Open; Curtains Were Taken Down; Altogether There Seemed To Be A Comprehensive Cleaning Going On. At That Moment Mr. Hillary Passed,  And Val Arrested Him,  Pointing To The Rectory.   "Yes,  They Are Having A Cleansing And Purification. The Family Went Away This Morning."   "Went Where?" Exclaimed Hartledon,  In Amazement.   "Dr. Ashton Has Taken A Cottage Near Ventnor."   "Had Mrs. Ashton Quite Recovered?"   "Quite: Or They Would Not Have Gone. The Rectory Has Had A Clean Bill Of Health For Some Time Past."   "Then Why Did They Not Let Me Know It?" Exclaimed Val,  In His Astonishment And Anger.   "Perhaps You Didn't Ask," Said The Surgeon. "But No Visitors Were Sought. Time Enough For That When The House Shall Have Been Fumigated."   "They Might Have Sent To Me," He Cried,  In Resentment. "To Go Away And Never Let Me Know It!"   "They May Have Thought You Were Too Agreeably Engaged To Care To Be Disturbed," Remarked The Surgeon.   "What Do You Mean?" Demanded Val,  Hotly.   Mr. Hillary Laughed. "People Will Talk,  You Know; And Rumour Has It That Lord Hartledon Has Found Attractions In His Own Home,  Whilst The Rectory Was Debarred To Him."   Val Wheeled Round On His Heel,  And Walked Away In Displeasure. Home Truths Are Never Palatable. But The Kindly Disposition Of The Man Resumed Its Sway Immediately: He Turned Back,  And Pointed To The Shed.   "Is That Interesting Patient Of Yours On His Legs Again?"   "He Is Getting Better. The Disease Attacked Him Fiercely And Was Unusually Prolonged. It's Strange He Should Have Been The Only One To Take It."   "Gum's Wife Has Been Nursing Him,  I Hear?"   "She Has Gone In And Out To Do Such Necessary Offices As The Sick Require. I Put It To Her From A Christian Point Of View,  You See,  And On The Score Of Humanity. She Was At Hand; And That's A Great Thing Where The Nurse Is Only A Visiting One."   "Look Here,  Hillary; Don't Let The Man Want For Anything; See That He Has All He Needs. He Is A Black Sheep,  No Doubt; But Illness Levels Us All To One Standard. Good Day."   "Good Day,  Lord Hartledon."   And When The Surgeon Had Got To A Distance With His Quick Step,  Lord Hartledon Turned Back To The Rectory.   Chapter 15 (Val's Dilemma) It Was A Mild Day In Spring. The Air Was Balmy,  But The Skies Were Grey And Lowering; And As A Gentleman Strolled Across A Field Adjoining Hartledon Park He Looked Up At Them More Than Once,  As If Asking Whether They Threatened Rain.   Not That He Had Any Great Personal Interest In The Question. Whether The Skies Gave Forth Sunshine Or Rain Is Of Little Moment To A Mind Not At Rest. He Had Only Looked Up In Listlessness. A Stranger Might Have Taken Him At A Distance For A Gamekeeper: His Coat Was Of Velveteen; His Boots Were Muddy: But A Nearer Inspection Would Have Removed The Impression.   It Was Lord Hartledon; But Changed Since You Last Saw Him. For Some Time Past There Had Been A Worn,  Weary Look Upon His Face,  Bespeaking A Mind Ill At Ease; The Truth Is,  His Conscience Was Not At Rest,  And In Time That Tells On The Countenance.   He Had Been By The Fish-Pond For An Hour. But The Fish Had Not Shown Themselves Inclined To Bite,  And He Grew Too Impatient To Remain. Not Altogether Impatient At The Wary Fish,  But In His Own Mental Restlessness. The Fishing-Rod Was Carried In His Hand In Pieces; And He Splashed Along,  In A Brown Study,  On The Wet Ground,  Flinging Himself Over The Ha-Ha With An Ungracious Movement. Some One Was Approaching Across The Park From The House,  And Lord Hartledon Walked On To A Gate, And Waited There For Him To Come Up. He Began Beating The Bars With The Thin End Of The Rod,  And--Broke It!   "That's The Way You Use Your Fishing-Rods," Cried The Free,  Pleasant Voice Of The New-Comer. "I Shouldn't Mind Being Appointed Purveyor Of Tackle To Your Lordship."   The Stranger Was An Active Little Man,  Older Than Hartledon; His Features Were Thin,  His Eyes Dark And Luminous. I Think You Have Heard His Name--Thomas Carr. Lord Hartledon Once Called Him The Greatest Friend He Possessed On Earth. He Had Been Wont To Fly To Him In His Past Dilemmas, And The Habit Was Strong Upon Him Still. A Mandate That Would Have Been Peremptory,  But For The Beseeching Terms In Which It Was Couched,  Had Reached Mr. Carr On Circuit; And He Had Hastened Across Country To Obey It,  Reaching Hartledon The Previous Evening. That Something Was Wrong, Mr. Carr Of Course Was Aware; But What,  He Did Not Yet Know. Lord Hartledon,  With His Natural Vacillation,  His Usual Shrinking From The Discussion Of Unpleasant Topics Relating To Himself,  Had Not Entered Upon It At All On The Previous Night; And When Breakfast Was Over That Morning,  Mr. Carr Had Craved An Hour Alone For Letter-Writing. It Was The First Time Mr. Carr Had Visited His Friend At His New Inheritance; Indeed The First Time He Had Been At All At Hartledon. Lord Hartledon Seated Himself On The Gate; The Barrister Leaned His Arms On The Top Bar Whilst He Talked To Him.   "What Is The Matter?" Asked The Latter.   "Not Much."   "I Have Finished My Letters,  So I Came Out To Look For You. You Are Not Changed,  Elster."   "What Should Change Me In So Short A Time?--It's Only Six Months Since You Last Saw Me," Retorted Hartledon,  Curtly.   "I Alluded To Your Nature. I Had To Worm The Troubles Out Of You In The Old Days,  Each One As It Arose. I See I Shall Have To Do The Same Now. Don't Say There's Not Much The Matter,  For I Am Sure There Is."   Lord Hartledon Jerked His Handkerchief Out Of His Pocket,  Passed It Over His Face,  And Put It Back Again.   "What Fresh Folly Have You Got Into?--As I Used To Ask You At Oxford. You Are In Some Mess."   "I Suppose It's Of No Use Denying That I Am In One. An Awful Mess,  Too."   "Well,  I Have Pulled You Out Of Many A One In My Time. Let Me Hear It."   "There Are Some Things One Does Not Like To Talk About,  Carr. I Sent For You In My Perplexity; But I Believe You Can Be Of No Use To Me."   "So You Have Said Before Now. But It Generally Turned Out That I Was Of Use To You,  And Cleared You From Your Nightmare."   "All Those Were Minor Difficulties; This Is Different."   "I Cannot Understand Your 'Not Liking' To Speak Of Things To Me. Why Don't You Begin?"   "Because I Shall Prove Myself Worse Than A Fool. You'll Despise Me To Your Heart's Core. Carr,  I Think I Shall Go Mad!"   "Tell Me The Cause First,  And Go Mad Afterwards. Come,  Val; I Am Your True Friend."   "I Have Made An Offer Of Marriage To Two Women," Said Hartledon, Desperately Plunging Into The Revelation. "Never Was Such A Born Idiot In The World As I Have Been. I Can't Marry Both."   "I Imagine Not," Quietly Replied Mr. Carr.   "You Knew I Was Engaged To Miss Ashton?"   "Yes."   "And I'm Sure I Loved Her With All My"--He Seemed To Hesitate For A Strong Term--"Might And Main; And Do Still. But I Have Managed To Get Into Mischief Elsewhere."   "Elster's Folly,  As Usual. What Sort Of Mischief?"   "The Worst Sort,  For There Can Be No Slipping Out Of It. When That Fever Broke Out At Doctor Ashton's--You Heard Us Talking Of It Last Night, Carr--I Went To The Rectory Just As Usual. What Did I Care For Fever?--It Was Not Likely To Attack Me. But The Countess-Dowager Found It Out--"   "Why Do They Stay Here So Long?" Interrupted Thomas Carr. "They Have Been Here Ever Since Your Brother Died."   "And Before It. The Old Woman Likes Her Quarters,  And Has No Settled Home. She Makes A Merit Of Stopping,  And Says I Ought To Feel Under Eternal Obligation To Her And Maude For Sacrificing Themselves To A Solitary Man And His Household. But You Should Have Heard The Uproar She Made Upon Discovering I Had Been To The Rectory. She Had My Room Fumigated And My Clothes Burnt."   "Foolish Old Creature!"   "The Best Of It Was,  I Pointed Out By Mistake The Wrong Coat,  And The Offending One Is Upstairs Now. I Shall Show It Her Some Day. She Reproached Me With Holding Her Life And Her Daughter's Dirt-Cheap,  And Wormed A Promise Out Of Me Not To Visit The Rectory As Long As Fever Was In It."   "Which You Gave?"   "She Wormed It Out Of Me,  I Tell You. I Don't Know That I Should Have Kept It,  But Dr. Ashton Put In His Veto Also; And Between The Two I Was Kept Away. For Many Weeks Afterwards I Never Saw Or Spoke To Anne. She Did Not Come Out At All,  Even To Church; They Were So Anxious The Fever Should Not Spread."   "Well? Go On,  Val."   "Well: How Does That Proverb Run,  About Idleness Being The Root Of All Evil? During Those Weeks I Was An Idle Man,  Wretchedly Bored; And I Fell Into A Flirtation With Maude. She Began It,  Carr,  On My Solemn Word Of Honour--Though It's A Shame To Tell These Tales Of A Woman; And I Joined In From Sheer Weariness,  To Kill Time. But You Know How One Gets Led On In Such Things--Or I Do,  If You,  You Cautious Fellow,  Don't--And We Both Went In Pretty Deep."   "Elster's Folly Again! How Deep?"   "As Deep As I Well Could,  Short Of Committing Myself To A Proposal. You See The Ill-Luck Of It Was,  Those Two And I Being Alone In The House. I May As Well Say Maude And I Alone; For The Old Woman Kept Her Room Very Much; She Had A Cold,  She Said,  And Was Afraid Of The Fever."   "Tush!" Cried Thomas Carr Angrily. "And You Made Love To The Young Lady?"   "As Fast As I Could Make It. What A Fool I Was! But I Protest I Only Did It In Amusement; I Never Thought Of Her Supplanting Anne Ashton. Now, Carr,  You Are Looking As You Used To Look At Oxford; Get Your Brow Smooth Again. You Just Shut Up Yourself For Weeks With A Fascinating Girl,  And See If You Wouldn't Find Yourself In Some Horrible Entanglement,  Proof Against Such As You Think You Are."   "As I Am Obliged To Be. I Should Take Care Not To Lay Myself Open To The Temptation. Neither Need You Have Done It."   "I Don't See How I Was To Help Myself. Often And Often I Wished To Have Visitors In The House,  But The Old Woman Met Me With Reproaches That I Was Forgetting The Recent Death Of My Brother. She Won't Have Any One Now If She Knows It,  And I Had To Send For You Quietly. Did You See How She Stared Last Night When You Came In?"   Mr. Carr Drew Down His Lips. "You Might Have Gone Away Yourself,  Elster."   "Of Course I Might," Was The Testy Reply. "But I Was A Fool,  And Didn't. Carr,  I Swear To You I Fell Into The Trap Unconsciously; I Did Not Foresee Danger. Maude Is A Charming Girl,  There's No Denying It; But As To Love,  I Never Glanced At It."   "Was It Not Suspected In Town Last Year That Lady Maude Had A Liking For Your Brother?"   "It Was Suspected There And Here; I Thought It Myself. We Were Mistaken. One Day Lately Maude Offended Me,  And I Hinted At Something Of The Sort: She Turned Red And White With Indignation,  Saying She Wished He Could Rise From His Grave To Refute It. I Only Wish He Could!" Added The Unhappy Man.   "Have You Told Me All?"   "All! I Wish I Had. In December I Was Passing The Rectory,  And Saw It Dismantled. Hillary,  Whom I Met,  Said The Family Had Gone To Ventnor. I Went In,  But Could Not Learn Any Particulars,  Or Get The Address. I Chanced A Letter,  Written I Confess In Anger,  Directing It Ventnor Only, And It Found Them. Anne's Answer Was Cool: Mischief-Making Tongues Had Been Talking About Me And Maude; I Learned So Much From Hillary; And Anne No Doubt Resented It. I Resented That--Can You Follow Me,  Carr?--And I Said To Myself I Wouldn't Write Again For Some Time To Come. Before That Time Came The Climax Had Occurred."   "And While You Were Waiting For Your Temper To Come Round In Regard To Miss Ashton,  You Continued To Make Love To The Lady Maude?" Remarked Mr. Carr. "On The Face Of Things,  I Should Say Your Love Had Been Transferred To Her."   "Indeed It Hadn't. Next To Anne,  She's The Most Charming Girl I Know; That's All. Between The Two It Will Be Awful Work For Me."   "So I Should Think," Returned Mr. Carr. "The Ass Between Two Bundles Of Hay Was Nothing To It."   "He Was Not An Ass At All,  Compared With What I Am," Assented Val, Gloomily.   "Well,  If A Man Behaves Like An Ass--"   "Don't Moralize," Interrupted Hartledon; "But Rather Advise Me How To Get Out Of My Dilemma. The Morning's Drawing On,  And I Have Promised To Ride With Maude."   "You Had Better Ride Alone. All The Advice I Can Give You Is To Draw Back By Degrees,  And So Let The Flirtation Subside. If There Is No Actual Entanglement--"   "Stop A Bit,  Carr; I Had Not Come To It," Interrupted Lord Hartledon,  Who In Point Of Fact Had Been Holding Back What He Called The Climax,  In His Usual Vacillating Manner. "One Ill-Starred Day,  When It Was Pouring Cats And Dogs,  And I Could Not Get Out,  I Challenged Maude To A Game At Billiards. Maude Lost. I Said She Should Pay Me,  And Put My Arm Round Her Waist And Snatched A Kiss. Just At That Moment In Came The Dowager,  Who I Believe Must Have Been Listening--"   "Not Improbably," Interrupted Mr. Carr,  Significantly.   "'Oh,  You Two Dear Turtle-Doves,' Cried She,  'Hartledon,  You Have Made Me So Happy! I Have Seen For Some Weeks What You Were Thinking Of. There's Nobody Living I'd Confide That Dear Child To But Yourself: You Shall Have Her,  And My Blessing Shall Be Upon You Both.'   "Carr," Continued Poor Val,  "I Was Struck Dumb. All The Absurdity Of The Thing Rose Up Before Me. In My Confusion I Could Not Utter A Word. A Man With More Moral Courage Might Have Spoken Out; Acknowledged The Shame And Folly Of His Conduct And Apologized. I Could Not."   "Elster's Folly! Elster's Folly!" Thought The Barrister. "You Never Had The Slightest Spark Of Moral Courage," He Observed Aloud,  In Pained Tones. "What Did You Say?"   "Nothing. There's The Worst Of It. I Neither Denied The Dowager's Assumption,  Nor Confirmed It. Of Course I Cannot Now."   "When Was This?"   "In December."   "And How Have Things Gone On Since? How Do You Stand With Them?"   "Things Have Gone On As They Went On Before; And I Stand Engaged To Maude,  In Her Mother's Opinion; Perhaps In Hers: Never Having Said Myself One Word To Support The Engagement."   "Only Continued To 'Make Love,' And 'Snatch A Kiss,'" Sarcastically Rejoined Mr. Carr.   "Once In A Way. What Is A Man To Do,  Exposed To The Witchery Of A Pretty Girl?"   "Oh,  Percival! You Are Worse Than I Thought For. Where Is Miss Ashton?"   "Coming Home Next Friday," Groaned Val. "And The Dowager Asked Me Yesterday Whether Maude And I Had Arranged The Time For Our Marriage. What On Earth I Shall Do,  I Don't Know. I Might Sail For Some Remote Land And Convert Myself Into A Savage,  Where I Should Never Be Found Or Recognized; There's No Other Escape For Me."   "How Much Does Miss Ashton Know Of This?"   "Nothing. I Had A Letter From Her This Morning,  More Kindly Than Her Letters Have Been Of Late."   "Lord Hartledon!" Exclaimed Mr. Carr,  In Startled Tones. "Is It Possible That You Are Carrying On A Correspondence With Miss Ashton,  And Your Love-Making With Lady Maude?"   Val Nodded Assent,  Looking Really Ashamed Of Himself.   "And You Call Yourself A Man Of Honour! Why,  You Are The Greatest Humbug--"   "That's Enough; No Need To Sum It Up. I See All I've Been."   "I Understood You To Imply That Your Correspondence With Miss Ashton Had Ceased."   "It Was Renewed. Dr. Ashton Came Up To Preach One Sunday,  Just Before Christmas,  And He And I Got Friendly Again; You Know I Never Can Be Unfriendly With Any One Long. The Next Day I Wrote To Anne,  And We Have Corresponded Since; More Coolly Though Than We Used To Do. Circumstances Have Been Really Against Me. Had They Continued At Ventnor,  I Should Have Gone Down And Spent My Christmas With Them,  And Nothing Of This Would Have Happened; But They Must Needs Go To Dr. Ashton's Sister's In Yorkshire For Christmas; And There They Are Still. It Was In That Miserable Christmas Week That The Mischief Occurred. And Now You Have The Whole,  Carr. I Know I've Been A Fool; But What Is To Be Done?"   "Lord Hartledon," Was The Grave Rejoinder,  "I Am Unable To Give You Advice In This. Your Conduct Is Indefensible."   "Don't 'Lord Hartledon' Me: I Won't Stand It. Carr?"   "Well?"   "If You Bring Up Against Me A String Of Reproaches Lasting Until Night Will That Mend Matters? I Am Conscious Of Possessing But One True Friend In The World,  And That's Yourself. You Must Stand By Me."   "I Was Your Friend; Never A Truer. But I Believed You To Be A Man Of Honour."   Hartledon Lifted His Hat From His Brow; As Though The Brow Alone Were Heavy Enough Just Then. At Least The Thought Struck Mr. Carr.   "I Have Been Drawn Unwittingly Into This,  As I Have Into Other Things. I Never Meant To Do Wrong. As To Dishonour,  Heaven Knows My Nature Shrinks From It."   "If Your Nature Does,  You Don't," Came The Severe Answer. "I Should Feel Ashamed To Put Forth The Same Plea Always Of 'Falling Unwittingly' Into Disgrace. You Have Done It Ever Since You Were A Schoolboy. Talk Of The Elster Folly! This Has Gone Beyond It. This Is Dishonour. Engaged To One Girl,  And Corresponding With Her; Making Hourly Love For Weeks To Another! May I Inquire Which Of The Two You Really Care For?"   "Anne--I Suppose."   "You Suppose!"   "You Make Me Wild,  Talking Like This. Of Course It's Anne. Maude Has Managed To Creep Into My Regard,  Though,  In No Common Degree. She Is Very Lovely,  Very Fascinating And Amiable."   "May I Ask Which Of The Two You Intend To Marry!" Continued The Barrister,  Neither Suppressing Nor Attempting To Soften His Indignant Tones. "As This Country's Laws Are Against A Plurality Of Wives,  You Will Be Unable,  I Imagine,  To Espouse Them Both."   Hartledon Looked At Him,  Beseechingly,  And A Sudden Compassion Came Over Mr. Carr. He Asked Himself Whether It Was Quite The Way To Treat A Perplexed Man Who Was Very Dear To Him.   "If I Am Severe,  It Is For Your Sake. I Assure You I Scarcely Know What Advice To Give. It Is Miss Ashton,  Of Course,  Whom You Intend To Make Lady Hartledon?"   "Of Course It Is. The Difficulty In The Matter Is Getting Clear Of Maude."   "And The Formidable Countess-Dowager. You Must Tell Maude The Truth."   "Impossible,  Carr. I Might Have Done It Once; But The Thing Has Gone On So Long. The Dowager Would Devour Me."   "Let Her Try To. I Should Speak To Maude Alone,  And Put Her Upon Her Generosity To Release You. Tell Her You Presumed Upon Your Cousinship; And Confess That You Have Long Been Engaged To Marry Miss Ashton."   "She Knows That: They Have Both Known It All Along. My Brother Was The First To Tell Them,  Before He Died."   "They Knew It?" Inquired Mr. Carr,  Believing He Had Not Heard Correctly.   "Certainly. There Has Been No Secret Made Of My Engagement To Anne. All The World Knows Of That."   "Then--Though I Do Not In The Least Defend Or Excuse You--Your Breaking With Lady Maude May Be More Pardonable. They Are Poor,  Are They Not,  This Dowager Kirton And Lady Maude?"   "Poor As Job. Hard Up,  I Think."   "Then They Are Angling For The Broad Lands Of Hartledon. I See It All. You Have Been A Victim To Fortune-Hunting."   "There You Are Wrong,  Carr. I Can't Answer For The Dowager One Way Or The Other; But Maude Is The Most Disinterested--"   "Of Course: Girls On The Look-Out For Establishments Always Are. Have It As You Like."   He Spoke In Tones Of Ridicule; And Hartledon Jumped Off The Stile And Led The Way Home.   That Lord Hartledon Had Got Himself Into A Very Serious Predicament,  Mr. Carr Plainly Saw. His Good Nature,  His Sensitive Regard For The Feelings Of Others,  Rendering It So Impossible For Him To Say No,  And Above All His Vacillating Disposition,  Were His Paramount Characteristics Still: In A Degree They Ever Would Be. Easily Led As Ever,  He Was As A Very Reed In The Hands Of The Crafty Old Woman Of The World,  Located With Him. She Had Determined That He Should Become The Husband Of Her Daughter; And Was As Certain Of Accomplishing Her End As If She Had Foreseen The Future. Lord Hartledon Himself Afterwards,  In His Bitter Repentance,  Said,  Over And Over Again,  That Circumstances Were Against Him; And They Certainly Were So,  As You Will Find.   Lord Hartledon Thought He Was Making Headway Against It Now,  In Sending For His Old Friend,  And Resolving To Be Guided By His Advice.   "I Will Take An Opportunity Of Speaking To Maude,  Carr," He Resumed. "I Would Rather Not Do It,  Of Course; But I See There's No Help For It."   "Make The Opportunity," Said Mr. Carr,  With Emphasis. "Don't Delay A Day; I Shall Expect You To Write Me A Letter To-Morrow Saying You've Done It."   "But You Won't Leave To-Day," Said Hartledon,  Entreatingly,  Feeling An Instant Prevision That With The Departure Of Thomas Carr All His Courage Would Ignominiously Desert Him.   "I Must Go. You Know I Told You Last Night That My Stay Could Only Be Four-And-Twenty Hours. You Can Accomplish It Whilst I Am Here,  If You Like,  And Get It Over; The Longer A Nauseous Medicine Is Held To The Lips The More Difficult It Is To Swallow It. You Say You Are Going To Ride With Lady Maude Presently; Let That Be Your Opportunity."   And Get It Over! Words That Sounded As Emancipation In Val's Ear. But Somehow He Did Not Accomplish It In That Ride. Excuses Were On His Lips Five Hundred Times,  But His Hesitating Lips Never Formed Them. He Really Was On The Point Of Speaking; At Least He Said So To Himself; When Mr. Hillary Overtook Them On Horseback,  And Rode With Them Some Distance. After That,  Maude Put Her Horse To A Canter,  And So They Reached Home.   "Well?" Said Mr. Carr.   "Not Yet," Answered Hartledon; "There Was No Opportunity."   "My Suggestion Was To Make Your Opportunity."   "And So I Will. I'll Speak To Her Either To-Night Or To-Morrow. She Chose To Ride Fast To-Day; And Hillary Joined Us Part Of The Way. Don't Look As If You Doubted Me,  Carr: I Shall Be Sure To Speak."   "Will He?" Thought Thomas Carr,  As He Took His Departure By The Evening Train,  Having Promised To Run Down The Following Saturday For A Few Hours. "It Is An Even Bet,  I Think. Poor Val!"   Poor Val Indeed! Vacillating,  Attractive,  Handsome Val! Shrinking, Sensitive Val! The Nauseous Medicine Was Never Taken. And When The Ashtons Returned To The Rectory On The Friday Night He Had Not Spoken.   And The Very Day Of Their Return A Rumour Reached His Ear That Mrs. Ashton's Health Was Seriously If Not Fatally Shattered,  And She Was Departing Immediately For The South Of France.   Chapter 16 (Between The Two) Not In The Rectory Drawing-Room,  But In A Pretty Little Sitting-Room Attached To Her Bed-Chamber,  Where The Temperature Was Regulated,  And No Draughts Could Penetrate,  Reclined Mrs. Ashton. Her Invalid Gown Sat Loosely Upon Her Shrunken Form,  Her Delicate,  Lace Cap Shaded A Fading Face. Anne Sat By Her Side In All Her Loveliness,  Ostensibly Working; But Her Fingers Trembled,  And Her Face Looked Flushed And Pained.   It Was The Morning After Their Return,  And Mrs. Graves Had Called In To See Mrs. Ashton--Gossiping Mrs. Graves,  Who Knew All That Took Place In The Parish,  And A Great Deal Of What Never Did Take Place. She Had Just Been Telling It All Unreservedly In Her Hard Way; Things That Might Be Said,  And Things That Might As Well Have Been Left Unsaid. She Went Out Leaving A Whirr And A Buzz Behind Her And An Awful Sickness Of Desolation Upon One Heart.   "Give Me My Little Writing-Case,  Anne," Said Mrs. Ashton,  Waking Up From A Reverie And Sitting Forward On Her Sofa.   Anne Took The Pretty Toy From The Side-Table,  Opened It,  And Laid It On The Table Before Her Mother.   "Is It Nothing I Can Write For You,  Mamma?"   "No,  Child."   Anne Bent Her Hot Face Over Her Work Again. It Had Not Occurred To Her That It Could Concern Herself; And Mrs. Ashton Wrote A Few Rapid Lines:     "My Dear Percival,     "Can You Spare Me A Five-Minutes' Visit? I Wish To Speak With You. We    Go Away Again On Monday.     "Ever Sincerely Yours,     "Catherine Ashton."   She Folded It,  Enclosed It In An Envelope,  And Addressed It To The Earl Of Hartledon. Pushing Away The Writing-Table,  She Held Out The Note To Her Daughter.   "Seal It For Me,  Anne. I Am Tired. Let It Go At Once."   "Mamma!" Exclaimed Anne,  As Her Eye Caught The Address. "Surely You Are Not Writing To Him! You Are Not Asking Him To Come Here?"   "You See That I Am Writing To Him,  Anne. And It Is To Ask Him To Come Here. My Dear,  You May Safely Leave Me To Act According To My Own Judgment. But As To What Mrs. Graves Has Said,  I Don't Believe A Word Of It."   "I Scarcely Think I Do," Murmured Anne; A Smile Hovering On Her Troubled Countenance,  Like Sunshine After Rain.   Anne Had The Taper Alight,  And The Wax Held To It,  The Note Ready In Her Hand,  When The Room-Door Was Thrown Open By Mrs. Ashton's Maid.   "Lord Hartledon."   He Came In In A Hurried Manner,  Talking Fast,  Making Too Much Fuss; It Was Unlike His Usual Quiet Movements,  And Mrs. Ashton Noticed It. As He Shook Hands With Her,  She Held The Note Before Him.   "See,  Percival! I Was Writing To Ask You To Call Upon Me."   Anne Had Put Out The Light,  And Her Hand Was In Lord Hartledon's Before She Well Knew Anything,  Save That Her Heart Was Beating Tumultuously. Mrs. Ashton Made A Place For Him On The Sofa,  And Anne Quietly Left The Room.   "I Should Have Been Here Earlier," He Began,  "But I Had The Steward With Me On Business; It Is Little Enough I Have Attended To Since My Brother's Death. Dear Mrs. Ashton! I Grieve To Hear This Poor Account Of You. You Are Indeed Looking Ill."   "I Am So Ill,  Percival,  That I Doubt Whether I Shall Ever Be Better In This World. It Is My Last Chance,  This Going Away To A Warmer Place Until Winter Has Passed."   He Was Bending Towards Her In Earnest Sympathy,  All Himself Again; His Dark Blue Eyes Very Tender,  His Pleasant Features Full Of Concern As He Gazed On Her Face. And Somehow,  Looking At That Attractive Countenance, Mrs. Ashton's Doubts Went From Her.   "But What I Have Said Is To You Alone," She Resumed. "My Husband And Children Do Not See The Worst,  And I Refrain From Telling Them. A Little Word Of Confidence Between Us,  Val."   "I Hope And Trust You May Come Back Cured!" He Said,  Very Fervently. "Is It The Fever That Has So Shattered You?"   "It Is The Result Of It. I Have Never Since Been Able To Recover Strength,  But Have Become Weaker And More Weak. And You Know I Was In Ill Health Before. We Leave On Monday Morning For Cannes."   "For Cannes?" He Exclaimed.   "Yes. A Place Not So Warm As Some I Might Have Gone To; But The Doctors Say That Will Be All The Better. It Is Not Heat I Need; Only Shelter From Our Cold Northern Winds Until I Can Get A Little Strength Into Me. There's Nothing The Matter With My Lungs; Indeed,  I Don't Know That Anything Is The Matter With Me Except This Terrible Weakness."   "I Suppose Anne Goes With You?"   "Oh Yes. I Could Not Go Without Anne. The Doctor Will See Us Settled There,  And Then He Returns."   A Thought Crossed Lord Hartledon: How Pleasant If He And Anne Could Have Been Married,  And Have Made This Their Wedding Tour. He Did Not Speak It: Mrs. Ashton Would Have Laughed At His Haste.   "How Long Shall You Remain Away?" He Asked.   "Ah,  I Cannot Tell You. I May Not Live To Return. If All Goes Well--That Is,  If There Should Be A Speedy Change For The Better,  As The Medical Men Who Have Been Attending Me Think There May Be--I Shall Be Back Perhaps In April Or May. Val--I Cannot Forget The Old Familiar Name,  You See--"   "I Hope You Never Will Forget It," He Warmly Interposed.   "I Wanted Very Particularly To See You. A Strange Report Was Brought Here This Morning And I Determined To Mention It To You. You Know What An Old-Fashioned,  Direct Way I Have Of Doing Things; Never Choosing A Roundabout Road If I Can Take A Straight One. This Note Was A Line Asking You To Call Upon Me," She Added,  Taking It From Her Lap,  Where It Had Been Lying,  And Tossing It On To The Table,  Whilst Her Hearer,  His Conscience Rising Up,  Began To Feel A Very Little Uncomfortable. "We Heard You Had Proposed Marriage To Lady Maude Kirton."   Lord Hartledon's Face Became Crimson. "Who On Earth Could Have Invented That?" Cried He,  Having No Better Answer At Hand.   "Mrs. Graves Mentioned It To Me. She Was Dining At Hartledon Last Week, And The Countess-Dowager Spoke About It Openly."   Mrs. Ashton Looked At Him; And He,  Confused And Taken Aback,  Looked Down On The Carpet,  Devoutly Wishing Himself In The Remote Regions He Had Spoken Of To Mr. Carr. Anywhere,  So That He Should Never Be Seen Or Recognized Again.   "What Am I To Do?" Thought He. "I Wish Mother Graves Was Hanged!"   "You Do Not Speak,  Percival!"   "Well,  I--I Was Wondering What Could Have Given Rise To This," He Stammered. "I Believe The Old Dowager Would Like To See Her Daughter Mistress Of Hartledon: And Suppose She Gave Utterance To Her Thoughts."   "Very Strange That She Should!" Observed Mrs. Ashton.   "I Think She's A Little Cracked Sometimes," Coughed Val; And,  In Truth, He Now And Then Did Think So. "I Hope You Have Not Told Anne?"   "I Have Told No One. And Had I Not Felt Sure It Had No Foundation,  I Should Have Told The Doctor,  Not You. But Anne Was In The Room When Mrs. Graves Mentioned It."   "What A Blessing It Would Be If Mrs. Graves Were Out Of The Parish!" Exclaimed Val,  Hotly. "I Wonder Dr. Ashton Keeps Graves On,  With Such A Mother! No One Ever Had Such A Mischief-Making Tongue As Hers."   "Percival,  May I Say Something To You?" Asked Mrs. Ashton,  Who Was Devouring Him With Her Eyes. "Your Manner Would Almost Lead Me To Believe That There _Is_ Something In It. Tell Me The Truth; I Can Never Be Anything But Your Friend."   "Believe One Thing,  Dear Mrs. Ashton--That I Have No Intention Of Marrying Anyone But Anne; And I Wish With All My Heart And Soul You'd Give Her To Me To-Day. Shut Up With Those Two Women,  The One Pretty,  The Other Watching Any Chance Word To Turn It To Her Own Use,  I Dare Say The Mrs. Graveses Of The Place Have Talked,  Forgetting That Maude Is My Cousin. I Believe I Paid Some Attention To Maude Because I Was Angry At Being Kept Out Of The Rectory; But My Attentions Meant Nothing,  Upon My Honour."   "Elster's Folly,  Val! Lady Maude May Have Thought They Did."   "At Any Rate She Knew Of My Engagement To Anne."   "Then There Is Nothing In It?"   "There Shall Be Nothing In It," Was The Emphatic Answer. "Anne Was My First Love,  And She Will Be My Last. You Must Promise To Give Her To Me As Soon As You Return From Cannes."   "About That You Must Ask Her Father. I Dare Say He Will Do So."   Lord Hartledon Rose From His Seat; Held Mrs. Ashton's Hand Between His Whilst He Said His Adieu,  And Stooped To Kiss Her With A Son's Affection. She Was A Little Surprised To Find It Was His Final Farewell. They Were Not Going To Start Until Monday. But Hartledon Could Not Have Risked That Cross-Questioning Again; Rather Would He Have Sailed Away For The Savage Territories At Once. He Went Downstairs Searching For Anne,  And Found Her In The Room Where You First Saw Her--Her Own. She Looked Up With Quite An Affectation Of Surprise When He Entered,  Although She Had Probably Gone There To Await Him. The Best Of Girls Are Human.   "You Ran Away,  Anne,  Whilst Mamma And I Held Our Conference?"   "I Hope It Has Been Satisfactory," She Answered Demurely,  Not Looking Up, And Wondering Whether He Suspected How Violently Her Heart Was Beating.   "Partly So. The End Was All Right. Shall I Tell It You?"   "The End! Yes,  If You Will," She Replied Unsuspectingly.   "The Decision Come To Is,  That A Certain Young Friend Of Ours Is To Be Converted,  With As Little Delay As Circumstances May Permit,  Into Lady Hartledon."   Of Course There Came No Answer Except A Succession Of Blushes. Anne's Work,  Which She Had Carried With Her,  Took All Her Attention Just Then.   "Can You Guess Her Name,  Anne?"   "I Don't Know. Is It Maude Kirton?"   He Winced. "If You Have Been Told That Abominable Rubbish,  Anne,  It Is Not Necessary To Repeat It. It's Not So Pleasant A Theme That You Need Make A Joke Of It."   "Is It Rubbish?" Asked Anne,  Lifting Her Eyes.   "I Thinkled The Boxes,  Put On His Coat,  Argued Out The Crums' Family And Their Residences,  First With Me And Then With His Friends On The Platform,  We Were Just Off When A Thought Seemed To Strike Him,  And Back He Came To The Open Window,  And Saying "Ye'll Be The Better Of Havin' This Ap"--Scratched It Up From The Outside With Nails Like Nebuchadnezzar's. Whether My Face Looked As If I Did Not Like It Or What,  I Don't Know,  But Down Came The Window Again With A Rattle, And He Wagged The Leather Strap Almost In My Face And Said,  "There's _Hoals_ In't,  An' Ye Can Jest Let It Down To Yer Own Satisfaction If Ye Fin' It Gets Clos." Then He Rattled It Up Again,  Mounted The Box,  And Off We Went. Oh,  _Such_ A Jolting Drive Of Six Miles! Such Wrenching Over Tramway Lines! But I Had My Fine Air-Cushions,  And My Spine Must Simply Be Another Thing To What It Was Six Months Back. Oh,  He Was Funny! I Found That He Did Not Know The Way To Thornliebank,  But Having A General Idea,  And A (No Doubt Just) Faith In His Own Powers,  He Swore He Did Know,  And Utterly Resented Asking Bystanders. After We Got Far Away From Houses,  On The Bleak Roads In The Dark Night,  I Merely Felt One Must Take What Came. By And By He Turned Round And Began To Retrace His Steps. I Put Out My Head (As I Did At Intervals To His Great Disgust; He Always Pitched Well Into Me--"We're Aal Right--Just Com--Pose Yeself," Etc.),  But He Assured Me He'd Only Just Gone By The Gate. So By And By We Drew Up,  No Lights In The Lodge,  No Answer To Shouts--Then He Got Down,  And In The Darkness I Heard The Gates Grating As If They Had Not Been Opened For A Century. Then Under Overhanging Trees,  And At Last In The Dim Light I Saw That The Walls Were Broken Down And Weeds Were Thick Round Our Wheels. I Could Bear It No Longer, And Put Out My Head Again,  And I Shall Never Forget The Sight. The Moon Was Coming A Little Bit From Behind The Clouds,  And Showed A Court-Yard In Which We Had Pulled Up,  Surrounded With Buildings In Ruins,  And Overgrown With Nettles And Rank Grass. We Had Not Seen A Human Being Since We Left Glasgow,  At Least An Hour Before,--And Of All The Places To Have One's Throat Cut In!! The Situation Was So Tight A Place,  It Really Gave One The Courage Of Desperation,  And I Ordered Him To Drive Away At Once. I Believe He Was Half Frightened Himself,  And The Horse Ditto,  And Never,  Never Was I In Anything So Nearly Turned Over As That Cab! For The Horse Got It Up A Bank. At Last It Was Righted,  But Not An Inch Would My Scotchman Budge Till He'd Put Himself Through The Window And Confounded Himself In Apologies,  And In Explanations Calculated To Convince Me That,  In Spite Of Appearances,  He Knew The Way To Thornliebank "Pairfeckly Well." "Noo,  I Do Beg Of Ye Not To Be Narrrr-Vous. Do Not Give Way To't. Ye May Trust Me Entirely. Don't Be Discommodded In The Least. I'm Just Pairfectly Acquainted With The Road. But It'll Be Havin' Been There In The Winter That's Just Misled Me. But We're Aal Right." And All Right He Did Eventually Land Me Here! So Late J. Had Nearly Given Me Up.               To Mrs. Elder.   _Greno House,  Grenoside,  Sheffield._ October 26,  1881.         Dearest Aunt Horatia,          *       *       *       *       *   D. Says You Would Like Some Of The Excellent Scotch Stories I Heard From Mr. Donald Campbell. I Wish I Could Take The Wings Of A Swallow And Tell You Them. You Must Supply Gaps From Your Imagination.   They Were As Odd A Lot Of Tales As I Ever Heard--_Drawled_ (Oh So Admirably Drawled,  Without The Flutter Of An Eyelid,  Or The Quiver Of A Muscle) By A Lowland Scotchman,  And Queerly Characteristic Of The Lowland Scotch Race!!!! Picture This Slow Phlegmatic Rendering To Your "Mind's Eye,  Horatia!"   A Certain Excellent Woman After A Long Illness--Departed This Life, And The Minister Went To Condole With The Widower. "The Hand Of Affliction Has Been Heavy On Yu,  Donald. Ye've Had A Sair Loss In Your Jessie."   "Aye--Aye--I've Had A Sair Loss In My Jessiet The Dinner-Table.   He Went Up,  Feeling A Desperate Man. To Those Of His Temperament Having To Make A Disagreeable Communication Such As This Is Almost As Cruel As Parting With Life.   No One Was In The Drawing-Room But Lady Kirton--Stretched Upon A Sofa And Apparently Fast Asleep. Val Crossed The Carpet With Softened Tread To The Adjoining Rooms: Small,  Comfortable Rooms,  Used By The Dowager In Preference To The More Stately Rooms Below. Maude Had Drawn Aside The Curtain And Was Peering Out Into The Frosty Night.   "Why,  How Soon You Are Up!" She Cried,  Turning At His Entrance.   "I Came On Purpose,  Maude. I Want To Speak To You."   "Are You Well?" She Asked,  Coming Forward To The Fire,  And Taking Her Seat On A Sofa. In Truth,  He Did Not Look Very Well Just Then. "What Is It?"   "Maude," He Answered,  His Fair Face Flushing A Dark Red As He Plunged Into It Blindfold: "I Am A Rogue And A Fool!"   Lady Maude Laughed. "Elster's Folly!"   "Yes. You Know All This Time That We--That I--" (Val Thought He Should Never Flounder Through This First Moment,  And Did Not Remain An Instant In One Place As He Talked)--"Have Been Going On So Foolishly,  I Was--Almost As Good As A Married Man."   "Were You?" Said She,  Quietly. "Married To Whom?"   "I Said As Good As Married,  Maude. You Know I Have Been Engaged For Years To Miss Ashton; Otherwise I Would Have _Knelt_ To Ask You To Become My Wife,  So Earnestly Should I Desire It."   Her Calm Imperturbability Presented A Curious Contrast To His Agitation. She Was Regarding Him With An Amused Smile.   "And,  Maude,  I Have Come Now To Ask You To Release Me. Indeed,  I--"   "What's All This About?" Broke In The Countess-Dowager,  Darting Upon The Conference,  Her Face Flushed And Her Head-Dress Awry. "Are You Two Quarrelling?"   "Val Was Attempting To Explain Something About Miss Ashton," Answered Maude,  Rising From The Sofa,  And Drawing Herself Up To Her Stately Height. "He Had Better Do It To You Instead,  Mamma; I Don't Understand It."   She Stood Up By The Mantelpiece,  In The Ray Of The Lustres. They Fell Across Her Dark,  Smooth Hair,  Her Flushed Cheeks,  Her Exquisite Features. Her Dress Was Of Flowing White Crepe,  With Jet Ornaments; And Lord Hartledon,  Even In The Midst Of His Perplexity,  Thought How Beautiful She Was,  And What A Sad Thing It Was To Lose Her. The Truth Was,  His Senses Had Been Caught By The Girl's Beauty Although His Heart Was Elsewhere. It Is A Very Common Case.   "The Fact Is,  Ma'am," He Stammered,  Turning To The Dowager In His Desperation,  "I Have Been Behaving Very Foolishly Of Late,  And Am Asking Your Daughter's Pardon. I Should Have Remembered My Engagement To Miss Ashton."   "Remembered Your Engagement To Miss Ashton!" Echoed The Dowager,  Her Voice Becoming A Little Shrill. "What Engagement?"   Lord Hartledon Began To Recover Himself,  Though He Looked Foolish Still. With These Nervous Men It Is The First Plunge That Tells; Get That Over And They Are Brave As Their Fellows.   "I Cannot Marry Two Women,  Lady Kirton,  And I Am Bound To Anne."   The Old Dowager's Voice Toned Down,  And She Pulled Her Black Feathers Straight Upon Her Head.   "My Dear Hartledon,  I Don't Think You Know What You Are Talking About. You Engaged Yourself To Maude Some Weeks Ago."   "Well--But--Whatever May Have Passed,  Engagement Or No Engagement,  I Could Not Legally Do It," Returned The Unhappy Young Man,  Too Considerate To Say The Engagement Was Hers,  Not His. "You Knew I Was Bound To Anne, Lady Kirton."   "Bound To A Fiddlestick!" Said The Dowager. "Excuse My Plainness, Hartledon. When You Engaged Yourself To The Young Woman You Were Poor And A Nobody,  And The Step Was Perhaps Excusable. Lord Hartledon Is Not Bound By The Promises Of Val Elster. All The Young Women In The Kingdom,  Who Have Parsons For Fathers,  Could Not Oblige Him To Be So."   "I Am Bound To Her In Honour; And"--In Love He Was Going To Say,  But Let The Words Die Away Unspoken.   "Hartledon,  You Are Bound In Honour To My Daughter; You Have Sought Her Affections,  And Gained Them. Ah,  Percival,  Don't You Know That It Is You She Has Loved All Along? In The Days When I Was Worrying Her About Your Brother,  She Cared Only For You. You Cannot Be So Infamous As To Desert Her."   "I Wish To Heaven She Had Never Seen Me!" Cried The Unfortunate Man, Beginning To Wonder Whether He Could Break Through These Trammels. "I'd Sacrifice Myself Willingly,  If That Would Put Things Straight."   "You Cannot Sacrifice Maude. Look At Her!" And The Crafty Old Dowager Flourished Her Hand Towards The Fireplace,  Where Maude Stood In All Her Beauty. "A Daughter Of The House Of Kirton Cannot Be Taken Up And Cast Aside At Will. What Would The World Say Of Her?"   "The World Need Never Know."   "Not Know!" Shrieked The Dowager; "Not Know! Why,  Her Trousseau Is Ordered,  And Some Of The Things Have Arrived. Good Heavens,  Hartledon, You Dare Not Trifle With Maude In This Way. You Could Never Show Your Face Amongst Men Again."   "But Neither Dare I Trifle With Anne Ashton," Said Lord Hartledon, Completely Broken Down By The Gratuitous Information. He Saw That The Situation Was Worse Than Even He Had Bargained For,  And All His Irresolution Began To Return Upon Him. "If I Knew What Was Right To Be Done,  I'm Sure I'd Do It."   "Right,  Did You Say? Right? There Cannot Be A Question About That. Which Is The More Fitting To Grace Your Coronet: Maude,  Or A Country Parson's Daughter?"   "I'm Sure If This Goes On I Shall Shoot Myself," Cried Val. "Taken To Task At The Rectory,  Taken To Task Here--Shooting Would Be Bliss To It."   "No Doubt," Returned The Dowager. "It Can't Be A Very Pleasant Position For You. Any One But You Would Get Out Of It,  And Set The Matter At Rest."   "I Should Like To Know How."   "So Long As You Are A Single Man They Naturally Remain On The High Ropes At The Rectory,  With Their Fine Visions For Anne--"   "I Wish You Would Understand Once For All,  Lady Kirton,  That The Ashtons Are Our Equals In Every Way," He Interrupted: "And," He Added,  "In Worth And Goodness Infinitely Our Superiors."   The Dowager Gave A Sniff. "You Think So,  I Know,  Hart. Well,  The Only Plan To Bring You Peace Is This: Make Maude Your Wife. At Once; Without Delay."   The Proposition Took Away Val's Breath. "I Could Not Do It,  Lady Kirton. To Begin With,  They'd Bring An Action Against Me For Breach Of Promise."   "Breach Of Nonsense!" Wrathfully Returned The Dowager. "Was Ever Such A Thing Heard Of Yet,  As A Doctor Of Divinity Bringing An Action Of That Nature? He'd Lose His Gown."   "I Wish I Was At The Bottom Of A Deep Well,  Never To Come Up Again!" Mentally Aspirated The Unfortunate Man.   "Will--You--Marry--Maude?" Demanded The Dowager,  With A Fixed Denunciation In Every Word,  Which Was As So Much Slow Torture To Her Victim.   "I Wish I Could. You Must See For Yourself,  Lady Kirton,  That I Cannot. Maude Must See It."   "I See Nothing Of The Sort. You Are Bound To Her In Honour."   "All I Can Do Is To Remain Single To The End Of My Days," Said Val,  After A Pause. "I Have Been A Great Villain To Both,  And I Cannot Repair It To Either. The One Stands In The Way Of The Other."   "But--"   "I Beg Your Pardon,  Ma'am," He Interrupted,  So Peremptorily That The Old Woman Trembled For Her Power. "This Is My Final Decision,  And I Will Not Hear Another Word. I Feel Ready To Hang Myself,  As It Is. You Tell Me I Cannot Marry Any Other Than Maude Without Being A Scoundrel; The Same Thing Precisely Applies To Anne. I Shall Remain Single."   "You Will Give Me One Promise--For Maude's Sake. Not,  After This,  To Marry Anne Ashton."   "Why,  How Can I Do It?" Asked He,  In Tones Of Exasperation. "Don't You See That It Is Impossible? I Shall Not See The Ashtons Again,  Ma'am; I Would Rather Go A Hundred Miles The Other Way Than Face Them."   The Countess-Dowager Probably Deemed She Had Said Sufficient For Safety; For She Went Out And Shut The Door After Her. Lord Hartledon Dashed His Hair From His Brow With A Hasty Hand,  And Was About To Leave The Room By The Other Door,  When Maude Came Up To Him.   "Is This To Be The End Of It,  Percival?"   She Spoke In Tones Of Pain,  Of Tremulous Tenderness; All Her Pride Gone Out Of Her. Lord Hartledon Laid His Hand Upon Her Shoulder,  Meeting The Dark Eyes That Were Raised To His Through Tears.   "Do You Indeed Love Me Like This,  Maude? Somehow I Never Thought It."   "I Love You Better Than The Whole World. I Love You Enough To Give Up Everything For You."   The Emphasis Conveyed A Reproach--That He Did Not "Give Up Everything" For Her. But Lord Hartledon Kept His Head For Once.   "Heaven Knows My Bitter Repentance. If I Could Repair This Folly Of Mine By Any Sacrifice On My Own Part,  I Would Gladly Do It. Let Me Go,  Maude! I Have Been Here Long Enough,  Unless I Were More Worthy. I Would Ask You To Forgive Me If I Knew How To Frame The Petition."   She Released The Hand Of Which She Had Made A Prisoner--Released It With A Movement Of Petulance; And Lord Hartledon Quitted The Room,  The Words She Had Just Spoken Beating Their Refrain On His Brain. It Did Not Occur To Him In His Gratified Vanity To Remember That Anne Ashton,  About Whose Love There Could Be No Doubt,  Never Avowed It In Those Pretty Speeches.   "Well?" Said Mr. Carr,  When He Got Back To The Dining-Room.   "It Is Not Well,  Carr; It Is Ill. There Can Be No Release. The Old Dowager Won't Have It."   "But Surely You Will Not Resign Miss Ashton For Lady Maude!" Cried The Barrister,  After A Pause Of Amazement.   "I Resign Both; I See That I Cannot Do Anything Else In Honour. Excuse Me,  Carr,  But I'd Rather Not Say Any More About It Just Now; I Feel Half Maddened."   "Elster's Folly," Mentally Spoke Thomas Carr.   Chapter 17 (An Agreeable Wedding)   That Circumstances,  Combined With The Countess-Dowager,  Worked Terribly Against Lord Hartledon,  Events Proved. Had The Ashtons Remained At The Rectory All Might Have Been Well; But They Went Away,  And He Was Left To Any Influence That Might Be Brought To Bear Upon Him.   How The Climax Was Accomplished The World Never Knew. Lord Hartledon Himself Did Not Know The Whole Of It For A Long While. As If Unwilling To Trust Himself Longer In Dangerous Companionship,  He Went Up To Town With Thomas Carr. Whilst There He Received A Letter From Cannes,  Written By Dr. Ashton; A Letter That Angered Him.   It Was A Cool Letter,  A Vein Of Contemptuous Anger Running Through It; Meant To Be Hidden,  But Nevertheless Perceptible To Lord Hartledon. Its Purport Was To Forbid All Correspondence Between Him And Miss Ashton: Things Had Better "Remain In Abeyance" Until They Met,  Ran The Words, "If Indeed Any Relations Were Ever Renewed Between Them Again."   It Might Have Angered Lord Hartledon More Than It Did,  But For The Hopelessness Which Had Taken Up Its Abode Within Him. Nevertheless He Resented It. He Did Not Suppose It Possible That The Ashtons Could Have Heard Of The Dilemma He Was In,  Or That He Should Be Unable To Fulfil His Engagement With Anne,  Having With His Usual Vacillation Put Off Any Explanation With Them; Which Of Course Must Come Sometime. He Had Taken An Idea Into His Head Long Before,  That Dr. Ashton Wished To Part Them, And He Looked Upon The Letter As Resulting From That. Hartledon Was Feeling Weary Of The World.   How Little Did He Divine That The Letter Of The Doctor Was Called Forth By A Communication From The Countess-Dowager. An Artful Communication, With A Charming Candour Lying On Its Surface. She Asked--She Actually Asked That Dr. Ashton Would Allow "Fair Play;" She Said The "Deepest Affection" Had Grown Up Between Lord Hartledon And Lady Maude; And She Only Craved That The Young Man Might Not Be Coerced Either Way,  But Might Be Allowed To Choose Between Them. The Field After Miss Ashton's Return Would Be Open To The Two,  And Ought To Be Left So.   You May Imagine The Effect This Missive Produced Upon The Proud, High-Minded Doctor Of Divinity. He Took A Sheet Of Paper And Wrote A Stinging Letter To Lord Hartledon,  Forbidding Him To Think Again Of Anne. But When He Was In The Aup Plots Of The Exquisite Shepherd's Thyme, Which Carpets The Place With Blue!   Yesterday We Drove By Stonehenge To Winterbourne Stoke. It Was Glaring,  And I Could Not Do Much Sketching,  But The Drive Over The Downs Was Like Drinking In Life At Some Primeval Spring. (And This Though The Wind Did Give Me Acute Neuralgia In My Right Eye,  But Yet The Air Was So Exquisitely Refreshing That I Could Cover My Eye With A Handkerchief And Still Enjoy!) The Charm Of These Unhedged,  Unbounded, Un-"Cabined,  Cribbed,  Confined" _Prairies_ Is All Their Own,  And Very Perfect! And _Such_ Flowers _Enamel_ (It _Is_ A Good Simile In Spite Of Alphonse Karr!) The Close Fine Grass! The Pale-Yellow Rock Cistus In Clumps,  The Blue "Shepherd's Thyme" In Tracts Of Colour,  Sweet Little Purple-Capped Orchids,  Spireas And Burnets,  And Everywhere "The Golden Buttercup" In Sheets Of Gleaming Yellow,  And The Soft Wind Blows And Blows,  And The Black-Nosed Sheep Come Up The Leas,  And I Drink In The Breeze! Oh,  Those Flocks Of Black-Faced Lambs And Sheep Are Too-Too! And I Must Tell You That The Old Wiltshire "Ship-Dog" Is Nearly Extinct. I Regret To Say That He Is Not Found Equal To "The Scotch" In Business Habits,  And One See Collies Everywhere Now....         _London._ June 29,  1882.                   I Had A Great Treat Last Sunday. One You And I Will Share When You Come Home. D.,  U.,  And I Took Jack To Church At The Chelsea Hospital, And We Went Round The Pensioners' Rooms,  Kitchen,  Sick-Wards,  Etc. Afterwards,  With Old Sir Patrick Grant And Col. Wadeson,  V.C. (Govr. And Lieut.-Govr.),  And A Lot Of Other People.   It Is An Odd,  Perhaps A Savage,  Mixture Of Emotions,  To Kneel At One's Prayers With Some _Pride_ Under Fourteen French Flags--_Captured_ (Including One Of Napoleon's While He Was Still Consul,  With A Red Cap Of Liberty As Big As Your Hat!),  And Hard By The Five Bare Staves From Which The Five Standards Taken At Blenheim Have Rotted To Dust!--And Then To Pass Under The Great Russian Standard (Twenty Feet Square,  I Should Say!) That Is Festooned Above The Door Of The Big Hall. If Rule Britannia Is Humbug--And We Are Mere Philistine Braggarts--Why Doesn't Cook Organize A Tour To Some German Or Other City,  Where We Can Sit Under Fourteen Captured British Colours,  And Be Disillusioned Once For All!!! Where Is The Hospital Whose Walls Are Simply Decorated Like Some Lord Mayor's Show With Trophies Taken From Us And From Every Corner Of The World? (You Know Lady Grant Was In The Action At Chillianwallah And Has The Medal?) We Saw Two Waterloo Men,  And Jack Was Handed About From One Old Veteran To Another Like A Toy. "Grow Up A Brave Man," They Said,  Over And Over Again. But "The Officer," As He Called Colonel Wadeson,  Was His Chief Pride,  He Being In Full Uniform And Cocked Hat!!   And I Must Tell You--In The Sick Ward I Saw A Young Man,  Fair-Curled, Broad-Chested,  Whose Face Seemed Familiar. He Was With Captain Cleather At The Aldershot Gym.,  Fell,  And Is "Going Home"--Slowly,  And With Every Comfort And Kindness About Him,  But Of Spinal Paralysis. It _Did_ Seem Hard Lines! He Was At The Amesbury March Past,  And We Had A Long Chat About It.                  July 21,  1882.                  I Cannot Tell You How It Pleases Me That You Liked The Bit About Aldershot In "Laetus." I Hope That It Must Have _Grated_ Very Much If I Had Done It Badly Or Out Of Taste,  On Any One Who Knows It As Well As You Do; And That Its Moving Your Sympathies Does Mean That I Have Done It Pretty Well. I Cannot Tell You The Pains I Expended On It! All Those Sentences About The Camp Were Written In Scraps And Corrected For Sense And Euphony,  Etc.,  Etc.,  Bit By Bit,  Like "Jackanapes"!!! Did I Tell You About "Tuck Of Drum"? Several People Who Saw The Proof, Pitched Into Me,  "Never Heard Of Such An Expression." I Was Convinced I Knew It,  And As I Said,  As A _Poetical_ Phrase; But I Could Not Charge My Memory With The Quotatt Delicate In Health. Lord Hartledon Was Grieved For His Accident,  And Helped To Nurse Him With The Best Heart In The World.   And Now What Devilry (There Were People In Calne Who Called It Nothing Less) The Old Countess-Dowager Set Afloat To Secure Her Ends I Am Unable To Tell You. She Was A Perfectly Unscrupulous Woman--Poverty Had Rendered Her Wits Keen; And Her Captured Lion Was Only Feebly Struggling To Escape From The Net. He Was To Blame Also. Thrown Again Into The Society Of Maude And Her Beauty,  Val Basked In Its Sunshine,  And Went Drifting Down The Stream,  Never Heeding Where The Current Led Him. One Day The Countess-Dowager Put It Upon His Honour--He Must Marry Maude. He Might Have Held Out Longer But For A Letter That Came From Some Friend Of The Dowager's Opportunely Located At Cannes; A Letter That Spoke Of The Approaching Marriage Of Miss Ashton To Colonel Barnaby,  Eldest Son Of A Wealthy Old Baronet,  Who Was Sojourning There With His Mother. No Doubt Was Implied Or Expressed; The Marriage Was Set Forth As An Assured Fact.   "And I Believe You Meant To Wait For Her?" Said The Countess-Dowager,  As She Put The Letter Into His Hand,  With A Little Laugh. "You Are Free Now For My Darling Maude."   "This May Not Be True," Observed Lord Hartledon,  With Compressed Lips. "Every One Knows What This Sort Of Gossip Is Worth."   "I Happen To Know That It Is True," Spoke Lady Kirton,  In A Whisper. "I Have Known Of It For Some Time Past,  But Would Not Vex You With It."   Well,  She Convinced Him; And From That Moment Had It All Her Own Way,  And Carried Out Her Plots And Plans According To Her Own Crafty Fancy. Lord Hartledon Yielded; For The Ascendency Of Maude Was Strong Upon Him. And Yet--And Yet--Whilst He Gave All Sorts Of Hard Names To Anne Ashton's Perfidy,  Lying Down Deep In His Heart Was A Suspicion That The News Was Not True. How He Hated Himself For His Wicked Assumption Of Belief In After-Years!   "You Will Be Free As Air," Said The Dowager,  Joyously. "You And Maude Shall Get Ahead Of Miss Ashton And Her Colonel,  And Have The Laugh At Them. The Marriage Shall Be On Saturday,  And You Can Go Away Together For Months If You Like,  And Get Up Your Spirits Again; I'm Sure You Have Both Been Dull Enough."   Lord Hartledon Was Certainly Caught By The Words "Free As Air;" As He Had Been Once Before. But He Stared At The Early Day Mentioned.   "Marriages Can't Be Got Up As Soon As That."   "They Can Be Got Up In A Day If People Choose,  With A Special License; Which,  Of Course,  You Will Have," Said The Dowager. "I'll Arrange Things, My Dear Val; Leave It All To Me. I Intend Maude To Be Married In The Little Chapel."   "What Little Chapel?"   "Your Own Private Chapel."   Lord Hartledon Stared With All His Eyes. The Private Chapel,  Built Out From The House On The Side Next Calne,  Had Not Been Used For Years And Years.   "Why,  It's All Dust And Rust Inside; Its Cushions Moth-Eaten And Fallen To Pieces."   "Is It All Dust And Rust!" Returned The Dowager. "That Shows How Observant You Are. I Had It Put In Order Whilst You Were In London; It Was A Shame To Let A Sacred Place Remain In Such A State. I Should Like It To Be Used For Maude; And Mind,  I'll See To Everything; You Need Not Give Yourself Any Trouble At All. There's Only One Thing I Must Enjoin On You."   "What's That?"   "_Secrecy._ Don't Let A Hint Of Your Intentions Get Abroad. Whatever You Do,  Don't Write A Word To That Carr Friend Of Yours; He's As Sharp As A Two-Edged Sword. As Well Let Things Be Done Privately; It Is Maude's Wish."   "I Shall Not Write To Him," Cried Hartledon,  Feeling A Sudden Heat Upon His Face,  "Or To Any One Else."   "Here's Maude. Step This Way,  Maude. Hartledon Wants The Ceremony To Take Place On Saturday,  And I Have Promised For You."   Lady Maude Advanced; She Had Really Come In By Accident; Her Head Was Bent,  Her Eyelashes Rested On Her Flushed Cheeks. A Fair Prize; Very, Very Fair! The Old Dowager Put Her Hand Into Lord Hartledon's.   "You Will Love Her And Cherish Her,  Percival?"   What Was The Young Man To Do? He Murmured Some Unintelligible Assent,  And Bent Forward To Kiss Her. But Not Until That Moment Had He Positively Realized The Fact That There Would Be Any Marriage.   Time Went On Swimmingly Until The Saturday,  And Everything Was In Progress. The Old Dowager Deserved To Be Made Commander Of A Garrison For Her Comprehensive Strategy,  The Readiness And Skill She Displayed In Carrying Out Her Arrangements. For What Reason,  Perhaps She Could Not Have Explained To Herself; But An Instinct Was Upon Her That Secrecy In All Ways Was Necessary; At Any Rate,  She Felt Surer Of Success Whilst It Was Maintained. Hence Her Decision In Regard To The Unused Little Chapel; And That This One Particular Portion Of The Project Had Been Long Floating In Her Mind Was Proved By The Fact That She Had Previously Caused The Chapel To Be Renovated. But That It Was To Serve Her Own Turn, She Would Have Let It Remain Choked Up With Dust For Ever.   The Special License Had Arrived; The Young Clergyman Who Was To Perform The Service Was Located At Hartledon. Seven O'clock Was The Hour Fixed For The Marriage: It Would Be Twilight Then,  And Dinner Over. Immediately Afterwards The Bride And Bridegroom Were To Depart. So Far,  So Good. But Lady Kirton Was Not To Have It Quite Her Own Way On This Same Saturday, Although She Had Enjoyed It Hitherto.   A Rumour Reached Her Ears In The Afternoon That Dr. Ashton Was At The Rectory. The Doctor Had Been Spending Easter At Cannes,  And The Dowager Had Devoutly Prayed That He Might Not Yet Return. The News Turned Her Cheeks Blue And Yellow; A Prevision Rushing Over Her That If He And Lord Hartledon Met There Might Be No Wedding After All. She Did Her Best To Keep Lord Hartledon Indoors,  And The Fact Of The Rector's Return From Him.   Now Who Is Going To Defend Lord Hartledon? Not You Or I. More Foolish, More Culpable Weakness Was Never Shown Than In Thus Yielding To These Schemes. Though Ensnared By Maude's Beauty,  That Was No Excuse For Him.   An Accident--Or What May Be Called One--Delayed Dinner. Two County Friends Of Hartledon's,  Jolly Fox-Hunters In The Season,  Had Come Riding A Long Way Across Country,  And Looked In To Beg Some Refreshment. The Dowager Fumed,  And Was Not Decently Civil; But She Did Not See Her Way To Turning Them Out.   They Talked And Laughed And Ate; And Dinner Was Indefinitely Prolonged. When The Dowager And Lady Maude Rose From Table The Former Cast A Meaning Look At Lord Hartledon. "Get Rid Of Them As Soon As You Can," It Plainly Said.   But The Fox-Hunters Liked Good Drinking As Well As Good Eating,  And Sat On,  Enjoying Their Wine; Their Host,  One Of The Most Courteous Of Living Men,  Giving No Sign,  By Word Or Look,  That He Wished For Their Departure. He Was Rather Silent,  They Observed; But The Young Clergyman,  Who Made The Fourth At The Table,  Was Voluble By Nature. Captain Kirton Had Not Yet Left His Sick Bed.   Lady Maude Sat Alone In Her Room; The White Robes Upon Her,  The Orthodox Veil,  Meant To Shade Her Fair Face Thrown Back From It. She Had Sent Away Her Attendants,  Bolted The Door Against Her Mother,  And Sat Waiting Her Summons. Waiting And Thinking. Her Cheek Rested On Her Hand,  And Her Eyes Were Dreamy.   Is It True That Whenever We Are About To Do An Ill Or Unjust Deed A Shadow Of The Fruits It Will Bring Comes Over Us As A Warning? Some People Will Tell You So. A Vision Of The Future Seemed To Rest On Maude Kirton As She Sat There; And For The First Time All The Injustice Of The Approaching Act Rose In Her Mind As A Solemn Omen. The True Facts Were Terribly Distinct. Her Own Dislike (It Was Indeed No Less Than Dislike) Of The Living Lord,  Her Lasting Love For The Dead One. All The Miserable Stratagems They Had Been Guilty Of To Win Him; The Dishonest Plotting And Planning. What Was She About To Do? For Her Own Advancement,  To Secure Herself A Position In The Great World,  And Not For Love,  She Was About To Separate Two Hearts,  Which But For Her Would Have Been United In This World And The Next. She Was Thrusting Herself Upon Lord Hartledon, Knowing That In His True Heart It Was Another That He Loved,  Not Her. Yes,  She Knew That Full Well. He Admired Her Beauty,  And Was Marrying Her; Marrying Partly In Pique Against Anne Ashton; Partly In Blindfold Submission To The Deep Schemes Of Her Mother,  Brought To Bear On His Yielding Nature. All The Injustice Done To Anne Ashton Was In That Moment Beating Its Refrain Upon Her Heart; And A Thought Crossed Her--Would God Not Avenge It? Another Time She Might Have Smiled At The Thought As Fanciful: It Seemed Awfully Real Now. "I Might Give Val Up Yet," She Murmured; "There's Just Time."   She Did Not Act Upon The Suggestion. Whether It Was Her Warning,  Or Whether It Was Not,  She Allowed It To Slip From Her. Hartledon's Broad Lands And Coronet Resumed Their Fascination Over Her Soul; And When Her Door Was Tried,  Lady Maude Had Lost Herself In That Famous Spanish Chateau We Have All Occupied On Occasion,  Touching The Alterations She Had Mentally Planned In Their Town-House.   "Goodness,  Maude,  What Do You Lock Yourself In For?"   Maude Opened The Door,  And The Countess-Dowager Floundered In. She Was Resplendent In One Of Her Old Yellow Satin Gowns,  A White Turban With A Silver Feather,  And A Pink Scarf Thrown On For Ornament. The Colours Would No Doubt Blend Well By Candlelight.   "Come,  Maude. There's No Time To Be Lost."   "Are The Men Gone?"   "Yes,  They Are Gone; No Thanks To Hartledon,  Though. He Sat Mooning On, Never Giving Them The Least Hint To Depart. Priddon Told Me So. I'll Tell You What It Is,  Maude,  You'll Have To Shake Your Husband Out Of No End Of Ridiculous Habits."   "It Is Growing Dark," Exclaimed Maude,  As She Stepped Into The Corridor.   "Dark! Of Course It's Dark," Was The Irascible Answer; "And They Have Had To Light Up The Chapel,  Or Priddon Couldn't Have Seen To Read His Book. And All Through Those Confounded Fox-Hunters!"   Lord Hartledon Was Not In The Drawing-Room,  Where Lady Kirton Had Left Him Only A Minute Before; And She Looked Round Sharply.   "Has He Gone On To The Chapel?" She Asked Of The Young Clergyman.   "No,  I Think Not," Replied Mr. Priddon,  Who Was Already In His Canonicals. "Hedges Came In And Said Something To Him,  And They Went Out Together."   A Minute Or Two Of Impatience--She Was In No Mood To Wait Long--And Then She Rang The Bell. It Should Be Remarked That The Old Lady,  Either From Excitement Or Some Apprehension Of Failure,  Was Shaking And Jumping As If She Had St. Vitus's Dance. Hedges Came In.   "Where's Your Master?" She Tartly Asked.   "With Mr. Carr,  My Lady."   "With Mr.--What Did You Say?"   "My Lord Is With Mr. Carr. He Has Just Arrived."   A Moment Given To Startled Consternation And Then The Fury Broke Forth. The Young Parson Had Never Had The Pleasure Of Seeing One Of These War-Dances Before,  And Backed Against The Wall In His Starched Surplice.   "What Brings Him Here? How Dare He Come Uninvited?"   "I Heard Him Say,  My Lady,  That Finding He Had A Sunday To Spare,  He Thought He Would Come And Pass It At Hartledon," Said The Well-Trained Hedges.   Ere The Words Had Left His Lips Lord Hartledon And Mr. Carr Were Present; The Latter In A State Of Utter Amazement And In His Travelling Dress, Having Only Removed His Overcoat.   "You'll Be My Groomsman,  Carr," Said Hartledon. "We Have No Adherents; This Is A Strictly Private Affair."   "Did You Send For Mr. Carr?" Whispered The Countess-Dowager,  Looking White Through Her Rouge.   "No; His Coming Has Taken Me By Surprise," Replied Hartledon,  With A Nervousness He Could Not Wholly Conceal.   They Passed Rapidly Through The Passages,  Marshalled By Hedges. Lord Hartledon Led His Bride,  The Countess-Dowager Walked With The Clergyman, And Mr. Carr Brought Up The Rear. The Latter Gentleman Was Wondering Whether He Had Fallen Into A Dream That He Should Wake Up From In The Morning. The Mode Of Procession Was A Little Out Of The Common Order Of Such Affairs; But So Was The Marriage.   Now It Happened,  Not Very Long Before This,  That Dr. Ashton Was On His Way Home From A Visit To A Sick Parishioner--A Poor Man,  Who Said He Believed Life Had Been Prolonged In Him That His Many Years' Minister Should Be At His Deathbed. Dr. Ashton's Road Lay Beyond Hartledon,  And In Returning He Crossed The Road,  Which Brought Him Out Near The River, Between Hartledon And The Rectory. Happening To Cast His Eyes That Way, He Saw A Light Where He Had Never Seen One Before--In The Little Unused Chapel. Peering Through The Trees At The Two Low Diamond-Paned Windows, To Make Sure He Was Not Mistaken,  Dr. Ashton Quickened His Pace: His Thoughts Glancing At Fire.   He Was Well Acquainted With Hartledon; And Making His Way In By The Nearest Entrance,  He Dashed Along The Passages To The Chapel,  Meeting At Length One Of The Servants.   "John," He Panted,  Quite Out Of Breath With Hurrying,  "There's A Light In The Chapel. I Fear It Is On Fire."   "Not At All,  Sir," Replied The Man. "We Have Been Lighting It Up For My Lord's Marriage. They Have Just Gone In."   "Lighting It Up For What?" Exclaimed Dr. Ashton.   "For My Lord's Marriage,  Sir. He's Marrying Lady Maude. It's The Old Dowager,  Sir,  Who Has Got It Up In This Queer Way," Continued The Man, Venturing On A Little Confidential Gossip With His Rector.   Dr. Ashton Paused To Collect His Wits Ere He Walked Into The Chapel. The Few Wax-Candles The Servants Had Been Able To Put About Only Served To Make The Gloom Visible. The Party Were Taking Their Places,  The Young Clergyman Directing Them Where To Stand. He Opened His Book And Was Commencing,  When A Hand Was Laid Upon Hartledon's Shoulder.   "Lord Hartledon,  What Is The Meaning Of This?"   Lord Hartledon Recognised The Voice,  And Broke Into A Cold Perspiration. He Gave No Answer; But The Countess-Dowager Made Up For His Silence. Her Temper,  None Of The Mildest,  Had Been Considerably Exasperated By The Visit Of The Fox-Hunters; It Was Made Worse By The Arrival Of Mr. Carr. When She Turned And Saw What _This_ Formidable Interruption Was,  She Lost It Altogether,  As Few,  Calling Themselves Gentlewomen,  Can Lose It. As She Peered Into The Face Of Dr. Ashton,  Her Own Was Scarlet And Yellow, And Her Voice Rose To A Shriek.   "You Prying Parson,  Where Did You Spring From? Are You Not Ashamed To Dodge Lord Hartledon In His Own House? You Might Be Taken Up And Imprisoned For It."   "Lord Hartledon," Said Dr. Ashton,  "I--"   "How Dare You Persist,  I Ask You?" Shrieked The Old Woman,  Whilst The Young Clergyman Stood Aghast,  And Mr. Carr Folded His Arms,  And Resolutely Fixed His Eyes On The Floor. "Because Hartledon Once Had A Flirtation With Your Daughter,  Does That Give You Leave To Haunt Him As If You Were His Double?"   "Madam," Said Dr. Ashton,  Contriving Still To Subdue His Anger,  "I Must, I Will Speak To Lord Hartledon. Allow Me To Do So Without Disturbance. Lord Hartledon,  I Wait For An Answer: Are You About To Marry This Young Lady?"   "Yes,  He Is," Foamed The Dowager; "I Tell You So. Now Then?"   "Then,  Madam," Proceeded The Doctor,  "This Marriage Owes Its Rise To You. You Will Do Well To Consider Whether You Are Doing Them A Kindness Or An Injury In Permitting It. You Have Deliberately Set Yourself To Frustrate The Hopes Of Lord Hartledon And My Daughter: Will A Marriage,  Thus Treacherously Entered Into,  Bring Happiness With It?"   "Oh,  You Wicked Man!" Cried The Dowager. "You Would Like To Call A Curse Upon Them."   "No," Shuddered Dr. Ashton; "If A Curse Ever Attends Them,  It Will Not Be Through Any Wish Of Mine. Lord Hartledon,  I Knew You As A Boy; I Have Loved You As A Son; And If I Speak Now,  It Is As Your Pastor,  And For Your Own Sake. This Marriage Looks Very Like A Clandestine One,  As Though You Were Ashamed Of The Step You Are Taking,  And Dared Not Enter On It In The Clear Face Of Day. I Would Have You Consider That This Sort Of Proceeding Does Not Usually Bring A Blessing With It."   If Ever Val Felt Convicted Of Utter Cowardice,  He Felt So Then. All The Wretched Sophistry By Which He Had Been Beguiled Into The Step,  By Which He Had Beguiled Himself; All The Iniquity Of His Past Conduct To Miss Ashton,  Rose Up Before His Mind In Its Naked Truth. He Dared Not Reply To The Doctor For Very Shame. A Sorry Figure He Cut,  Standing There,  Lady Maude Beside Him.   "The Last Time You Entered My House,  Lord Hartledon,  It Was To Speak Of Your Coming Marriage With Anne--"   "And You Would Like Him To Go There Again And Arrange It," Interrupted The Incensed Dowager,  Whose Head Had Begun To Nod So Vehemently That She Could Not Stop It. "Oh Yes,  I Dare Say!"   "By What Right Have You Thus Trifled With Her?" Continued The Rector, Ignoring The Nodding Woman And Her Words,  And Confronting Lord Hartledon. "Is It A Light Matter,  Think You,  To Gain A Maiden's Best Love,  And Then To Desert Her For A Fresh Face? You Have Been Playing Fast-And-Loose For Some Little Time: And I Gave You More Than One Opportunity Of Retiring, If You So Willed It--Of Openly Retiring,  You Understand; Not Of Doing So In This Secret,  Disreputable Manner. Your Conscience Will Prick You In After-Life,  Unless I Am Mistaken."   Val Opened His Lips,  But The Rector Put Up His Hand.   "A Moment Yet. That I Am Not Endeavouring To Recall Anne's Claims On You In Saying This,  I Am Sure You Are Perfectly Aware,  Knowing Me As You Do. I Never Deemed You Worthy Of Her--You Know That,  Lord Hartledon; And You Never Were So. Were You A Free Man At This Moment,  And Went Down On Your Knees To Implore Me To Give You Anne,  I Would Not Do It. You Have Forfeited Her; You Have Forfeited The Esteem Of All Good Men. But That I Am A Christian Minister,  I Should Visit Your Dishonour Upon You As You Deserve."   "Will You Cease?" Raved The Dowager; And Dr. Ashton Wheeled Round Upon Her.   "There Is Less Excuse For Your Past Conduct,  Madam,  Than For His. You Have Played On Lord Hartledon's Known Irresolution To Mould Him To Your Will. I See Now The Aim Of The Letter You Favoured Me With At Cannes, When You Requested,  With So Much Candour,  That He Might Be Left For A Time Unfettered By Any Correspondence With Miss Ashton. Well,  You Have Obtained Your Ends. Your Covetous Wish That You And Your Daughter Should Reign At Hartledon Is On The Point Of Being Gratified. The Honour Of Marrying Lady Maude Was Intended Both By You And Her For The Late Lord Hartledon. Failing Him,  You Transferred Your Hopes To The Present One, Regardless Of Who Suffered,  Or What Hearts Or Honour Might Be Broken In The Process."   "Will Nobody Put This Disreputable Parson Outside?" Raved The Dowager.   "I Do Not Seek To Bring Reproach Home To You; Let That,  Ladies,  Lie Between Yourselves And Conscience. I Only Draw Your Attention To The Facts; Which Have Been Sufficiently Patent To The World,  Whatever Lord Hartledon May Think. And Now I Have Said My Say,  And Leave You; But I Declare That Were I Performing This Burlesque Of A Marriage,  As That Young Clergyman Is About To Do,  I Should Feel My Prayers For The Divine Blessing To Attend It Were But A Vain Mockery."   He Turned To Leave The Chapel With Quick Steps,  When Lord Hartledon, Shaking Off Maude,  Darted Forward And Caught His Arm.   "You Will Tell Me One Thing At Least: Is Anne _Not_ Going To Marry Colonel Barnaby?"   "Sir!" Thundered The Doctor. "Going To Marry _Whom_?"   "I Heard It," He Faltered. "I Believed It To Be The Truth."   "You May Have Heard It,  But You Did Not Believe It,  Lord Hartledon. You Knew Anne Better. Do Not Add This False Excuse To The Rest."   Pleasant! Infinitely So For The Bridegroom's Tingling Ears. Dr. Ashton Walked Out Of The Chapel,  And Val Stood For A Few Moments Where He Was, Looking Up And Down In The Dim Light. It Might Be That In His Mental Confusion He Was Deliberating What His Course Should Be; But Thought And Common Sense Came To Him,  And He Knew He Could Not Desert Lady Maude, Having Brought Matters So Far To An End.   "Proceed," He Said To The Young Clergyman,  Stalking Back To The Altar. "Get--It--Over Quickly."   Mr. Carr Unfolded H Have Her Eyes _Down_,  And The Children Must Kneel _Imitating Her_,  And I Should Like An Old _Brass_ On The Wall Above Them With One Of Those Queer Old Kneeling Families In Ruffs.   For 2,  I Said I Could Not Introduce Child Readers To The Cells,  And I Begged For An Old Chelsea Pensioner Showing His Good Conduct Medal To A Little Boy.   3. I Suggested The Tomb Of A Knight Crusader,  Above Which Should Fall A Torn Banner With The Words,  "In Coelo Quies."   Now If He Had Kicked At Having Three Pictures To Do Utterly Over Again,  One Could Hardly Have Wondered,  Pressed As He Is. But,  Back They Came! "I Am Indeed Much Indebted To You," The Worst He Had To Say! The Lady In No. 1 Now _Is_ A Lady; And As To The Other Two,  They Will Be Two Of The Best Pages Of The Book. Old Pensioner First-Rate, And Crusader Under Torn Banner Just Leaving "Coelo Quies," A Tomb Behind "Of S. Ambrose Of Milan" With A Little Dog--And A Snowy-Moustached Old General,  With Bending Shoulders And Holding A Little Girl By The Hand,  Paying _Devoir_ At The Departed Warrior's Tomb In A Ray Of Rosy Sunlight!!   This Is The Sort Of Way We Are Fighting Through The Ewing-Andre Books.                _Ecclesfield._ January 10,  1883.                   Fancy Me "Learning A Part" Again! _That_ Has A Sort Of Sound Like Old Times,  Hasn't It?   I Feel Half As If I Were A Fool,  And Half As If It Would Be Very Good Fun! R.A. Theatricals At Shoeburyness. The Foxstrangways Have Asked Me. Major O'callaghan Is Stage Manager I Believe. Then There Is A Major Newall,  Said To Be Very Good. He Says He "Has A Fancy To Play 'A Happy Pair' With Me!" It Is His _Cheval De Bataille_ I Believe.   I Think It Is Best To Try And Do What One Is _Asked_ Over Parts (Though They Were Very Polite In Offering Me A Choice),  So I Said I Would Try,  And Am Learning It. I Think I Shall Manage It. They Now Want Me To Take "A Rough Diamond" As Well,  _Margery_. I Doubt Its Being Wise To Attempt Both. It Will Be Rather A Strain,  I Think.                   _Shoeburyness._ January 25,  1883.                   I Am Playing Mrs. Honeyton In "A Happy Pair" With Major Newall. He Knows His Work Well,  Is A Good Coach,  And Very Considerate And Kind.   In My Soul I Wish That Were All,  But They Have Persuaded Me Also To Take Margery In "A Rough Diamond," And Getting That Up In A Week Is "Rough On" A Mediocre Amateur Like Myself!   This Is A _Curious_ Place. Very Nice,  Bar The East Winds. I Have Been Down On The Shore This Morning. The Water Sobs At Your Feet,  And The Ships And The Gulls Go Up And Down. Above,  A Compact Little Military Station Clusters Together,  And Everywhere Are Guns,  Guns,  Guns; Old Guns Lying In The Grass,  New Guns Shattering The Windows,  And Only _Not_ Bringing Down The Plaster Because The Rooms Are Ceiled With Wood "For The Same Purpose."...         To Mrs. Jelf.   Sunday,  April 1883.         My Dearest Marny,   I Must Write A Line To You About Your Poor Friends! It Is The Tragedy Of This War! Very Terrible. I Hope The Bitterness Of Death Was _Short_,  And To Gallant Spirits Like Theirs Hope And Courage Probably Supported Them Till The Very Last,  When Higher Hopes Helped Them To Undo Their Grasp On This Life.   In The Dying--They Suffered Far Less Than Most Of Us Will Probably Suffer In Our Beds--But To Be At The Fullest Stretch Of Manly Powers In The Service Of Their Country Among The World's Hopes And Fears And Turmoils,  And To Be Suddenly Called Upon To "Leave All And Follow Christ"--When The "All" For Them Had Most Righteously Got Every Force Of Mind And Body Devoted To It--Must Be At Least One Hard Struggle. And Death Away From Home Does Seem So Terrible!   Richard Will Feel It Very Much. That Nottingham Election Seems So Short A Time Ago.             Back From Church! Great Haste. We Have Had That Grand Hymn With--   "Soon,  Soon To Faithful Warriors Comes Their Rest."   I Did Not Fo We Ha For The Morrow's Services.   "If You Please,  My Lady,  Captain Kirton Has Been Asking For You Once Or Twice," Said Hedges,  Entering The Dowager's Private Sitting-Room.   "Then Captain Kirton Must Ask," Retorted The Dowager,  Who Was Sitting Down To Her Letters,  Which She Had Left Unopened Since Their Arrival In The Morning,  In Her Anxiety For Other Interests. "Hedges,  I Should Like Some Supper: I Had Only A Scrambling Sort Of Dinner. You Can Bring It Up Here. Something Nice; And A Bottle Of Champagne."   Hedges Withdrew With The Order,  And Lady Kirton Applied Herself To Her Letters. The First She Opened Was From The Daughter Who Had Married The French Count. It Told A Pitiful Tale Of Distress,  And Humbly Craved To Be Permitted To Come Over On A Fortnight's Visit,  She And Her Two Sickly Children,  "For A Little Change."   "I Dare Say!" Emphatically Cried The Dowager. "What Next? No,  Thank You, My Lady; Now That I Have At Least A Firm Footing In This House--As That Blessed Parson Said--I Am Not Going To Risk It By Filling It With Every Bothering Child I Possess. Bob Departs As Soon As His Leg's Well. Why What's This?"   She Had Come Upon A Concluding Line As She Was Returning The Letter To The Envelope. "P.S. If I Don't Hear From You _Very_ Decisively To The Contrary,  I Shall Come,  And Trust To Your Good Nature To Forgive It. I Want To See Bob."   "Oh,  That's It,  Is It!" Said The Dowager. "She Means To Come,  Whether I Will Or No. That Girl Always Had Enough Impudence For A Dozen."   Drawing A Sheet Of Paper Out Of Her Desk,  She Wrote A Few Rapid Lines.     "Dear Jane,     "For _Mercy's_ Sake Keep Those _Poor_ Children And Yourself _Away_! We   Have Had An _Aweful Infectious Fever_ Rageing In The Place,  Which It   Was Thought To Be _Cured_,  But It's On The Break _Out_ Again-Several   _Deaths_,  Hartledon And Maude (_Married_ Of Course) Have Gone Out Of   Its Reach And I'm Thinking Of It If _Bob's_ Leg Which Is _Better_   Permits. You'd Not Like I Dare Say To See The Children In A _Coffin   Apiece_ And Yourself In A _Third_,  As Might Be The End. _Small-Pox_ Is   Raging At _Garchester_ A Neighbouring Town,  That _Will_ Be Awful If It   Gets To _Us_ And I _Hear_ It's On The _Road_ And With Kind Love   _Believe_ Me Your Affectionate_     "Mother.     "P.S. I Am Sorry For _What_ You Tell Me About _Ugo_ And The _State_   Of Affairs Chey Vous. But You Know You _Would Marry_ Him So There's   _Nobody_ To Blame. Ah! _Maude_ Has Gone By _My_ Advice And Done As _I_   Said And The Consequence Is _She's_ A Peeress For Life And Got A   Handsome Young Husband _Without_ A _Will_ Of His Own."   The Countess-Dowager Was Not Very Adroit At Spelling And Composition, Whether French Or English,  As You Observe. She Made An End Of Her Correspondence,  And Sat Down To A Delicious Little Supper Alone; As She Best Liked To Enjoy These Treats. The Champagne Was Excellent,  And She Poured Out A Full Tumbler Of It At Once,  By Way Of Wishing Good Luck To Maude's Triumphant Wedding.   "And It _Is_ A Triumph!" She Said,  As She Put Down The Empty Glass. "I Hope It Will Bring Jane And The Rest To A Sense Of _Their_ Folly."   A Triumph? If You Could Only Have Looked Into The Future,  Lady Kirton! A Triumph!   The Above Was Not The Only Letter Written That Evening. At The Hotel Where Lord And Lady Hartledon Halted For The Night,  When She Had Retired Under Convoy Of Her Maid,  Then Val's Restrained Remorse Broke Out. He Paced The Room In A Sort Of Mad Restlessness; In The Midst Of Which He Suddenly Sat Down To A Table On Which Lay Pens,  Ink,  And Paper,  And Poured Forth Hasty Sentences In His Mind's Wretched Tumult.     "My Dear Mrs. Ashton,     "I Cannot Address You In Any More Formal Words,  Although You Will Have   Reason To Fling Down The Letter At My Presuming To Use These Now--For   Dear,  Most Dear,  You Will Ever Be To Me.     "What Can I Say? Why Do I Write To You? Indeed To The Latter Question I   Can Only Answer I Do Not Know,  Save That Some Instinct Of Good Feeling,   Not Utterly Dead Within Me,  Is Urging Me To It.     "Will You Let Me For A Moment Throw Conventionality Aside; Will You For   That Brief Space Of Time Let Me Speak Truly And Freely To You,  As One   Might Speak Who Has Passed The Confines Of This World?     "When A Man Behaves To A Woman As I,  To My Eternal Shame,  Have This Day   Behaved To Anne,  It Is,  I Think,  A Common Custom To Regard The False   Man As Having Achieved A Sort Of Triumph; To Attribute Somewhat Of   Humiliation To The Other.     "Dear Mrs. Ashton,  I Cannot Sleep Until I Have Said To You That In My   Case The Very Contrary Is The Fact. A More Abject,  Humiliated Man Than   I Stand At This Hour In My Own Eyes Never Yet Took His Sins Upon His   Soul. Even You Might Be Appeased If You Could Look Into Mine And See   Its Sense Of Degradation.     "That My Punishment Has Already Come Home To Me Is Only Just; That I   Shall Have To Conceal It From All The World,  Including My Wife,  Will   Not Lessen Its Sting.     "I Have This Evening Married Maude Kirton. I Might Tell You Of Unfair   Play Brought To Bear Upon Me,  Of A Positive Assurance,  Apparently Well   Grounded,  That Anne Had Entered Into An Engagement To Wed Another,   Could I Admit That These Facts Were Any Excuse For Me. They Are No   Excuse; Not The Slightest Palliation. My Own Yielding Folly Alone Is   To Blame,  And I Shall Take Shame To Myself For Ever.     "I Write This To You As I Might Have Written It To My Own Mother,  Were   She Living; Not As An Expiation; Only To Tell Of My Pain; That I Am Not   Utterly Hardened; That I Would Sue On My Knees For Pardon,  Were It Not   Shut Out From Me By My Own Act. There Is No Pardon For Such As I. When   You Have Torn It In Pieces,  You Will,  I Trust,  Forget The Writer.     "God Bless You,  Dear Mrs. Ashton! God Bless And Comfort Another Who Is   Dear To You!--And Believe Me With True Undying Remorse Your Once   Attached Friend,     "Hartledon."   It Was A Curious Letter To Write; But Men Of Lord Hartledon's Sensitive Temperament In Regard To Others' Feelings Often Do Strange Things; Things The World At Large Would Stare At In Their Inability To Understand Them. The Remorse Might Not Have Come Home To Him Quite So Soon As This,  His Wedding-Day,  But For The Inopportune Appearance Of Dr. Ashton In The Chapel,  Speaking Those Words That Told Home So Forcibly. Such Reproach On These Vacillating Men Inflicts A Torture That Burns Into The Heart Like Living Fire.   He Sealed The Letter,  Addressing It To Cannes; Called A Waiter,  Late As It Was,  And Desired Him To Post It. And Then He Walked About The Room, Reflecting On The Curse Of His Life--His Besetting Sin--Irresolution. It Seemed Almost An Anomaly For _Him_ To Make Resolves; But He Did Make One Then; That He Would,  With The Help Of Heaven,  Be A Man From Henceforth, However It Might Crucify His Sensitive Feelings. And For The Future,  The Obligation He Had That Day Taken Upon Himself He Determined To Fulfil To His Uttermost In All Honour And Love; To Cherish His Wife As He Would Have Cherished Anne Ashton. For The Past--But Lord Hartledon Rose Up Now With A Start. There Was One Item Of That Past He Dared Not Glance At, Which Did Not,  However,  Relate To Miss Ashton: And It Appeared Inclined To Thrust Itself Prominently Forward To-Night.   Could Lord Hartledon Have Borrowed Somewhat Of The Easy Indifference Of The Countess-Dowager,  He Had Been A Happier Man. That Lady Would Have Made A Female Nero,  Enjoying Herself While Rome Was Burning. She Remained On In Her Snug Quarters At Hartledon,  And Lived In Clover.   One Evening,  Rather More Than A Week After The Marriage,  Hedges Had Been On An Errand To Calne,  And Was Hastening Home. In The Lonely Part Of The Road Near Hartledon,  Upon Turning A Sharp Corner,  He Came Upon Mirrable, Who Was Standing Talking To Pike,  Very Much To The Butler's Surprise. Pike Walked Away At Once; And The Butler Spoke.   "He Is Not An Acquaintance Of Yours,  That Man,  Mrs. Mirrable?"   "Indeed No," She Answered,  Tossing Her Head. "It Was Like His Impudence To Stop Me. Rather Flurried Me Too," She Continued: And Indeed Hedges Noticed That She Seemed Flurried.   "What Did He Stop You For? To Beg?"   "Not That. I've Never Heard That He Does Beg. He Accosted Me With A Cool Question As To When His Lordship Was Coming Back To Hartledon. I Answered That It Could Not Be Any Business Of His. And Then You Came Up."   "He Is Uncommon Curious As To My Lord. I Can't Make It Out. I've Seen Him Prowling About The Grounds: And The Night Of The Marriage He Was Mounted Up At The Chapel Window. Lord Hartledon Saw Him,  Too. I Should Like To Know What He Wants."   "By A Half-Word He Let Drop,  I Fancy He Has A Crotchet In His Head That His Lordship Will Find Him Some Work When He Comes Home. But I Must Go On My Way," Added Mirrable. "Mrs. Gum's Not Well,  And I Sent Word I'd Look In For Half-An-Hour This Evening."   Hedges Had To Go On His Way Also,  For It Was Close Upon The Countess-Dowager's Dinner-Hour,  At Which Ceremony He Must Attend. Putting His Best Foot Forward,  He Walked At More Than An Ordinary Pace,  And Overtook A Gentleman Almost At The Very Door Of Hartledon. The Stranger Was Approaching The Front Entrance,  Hedges Was Wheeling Off To The Back; But The Former Turned And Spoke. A Tall,  Broad-Shouldered,  Grey-Haired Man,  With High Cheek-Bones. Hedges Took Him For A Clergyman From His Attire; Black,  With A White Neckcloth.   "This Is Hartledon House,  I Believe," He Said,  Speaking With A Scotch Accent.   "Yes,  Sir."   "Do You Belong To It?"   "I Am Lord Hartledon's Butler."   "Is Lord Hartledon At Home?"   "No,  Sir. He Is In France."   "I Read A Notice Of His Marriage In The Public Papers," Continued The Stranger,  Whose Eyes Were Fixed On Hedges. "It Was,  I Suppose,  A Correct One?"   "My Lord Was Married The Week Before Last: About Ten Or Eleven Days Ago."   "Ay; April The Fourteenth,  The Paper Said. She Is One Of The Kirton Family. When Do You Expect Him Home?"   "I Don't Know At All,  Sir. I've Not Heard Anything About It."   "He Is In France,  You Say,  Paris,  I Suppose. Can You Furnish Me With His Address?"   Up To This Point The Colloquy Had Proceeded Smoothly On Both Sides: But It Suddenly Flashed Into The Mind Of Hedges That The Stranger's Manner Was Somewhat Mysterious,  Though In What The Mystery Lay He Could Not Have Defined. The Communicative Man,  True To The Interests Of His Master, Became Cautious At Once: He Supposed Some Of Lord Hartledon's Worries, Contracted When He Was Mr. Elster,  Were Returning Upon Him.   "I Cannot Give His Address,  Sir. And For The Matter Of That,  It Might Not Be Of Use If I Could. Lord And Lady Hartledon Did Not Intend Remaining Any Length Of Time In One Place."   The Stranger Had Dug The Point Of His Umbrella Into The Level Greensward That Bounded The Gravel,  And Swayed The Handle About With His Hand, Pausing In Thought.   "I Have Come A Long Way To See Lord Hartledon," He Observed. "It Might Be Less Trouble And Cost For Me To Go On To Paris And See Him There,  Than To Start Back For Home,  And Come Here Again When He Returns To England. Are You Sure You Can't Give Me His Address?"   "I'm Very Sorry I Can't,  Sir. There Was A Talk Of Their Going On To Switzerland," Continued Hedges,  Improvising The Journey,  "And So Coming Back Through Germany; And There _Was_ A Talk Of Their Making Italy Before The Heat Came On,  And Stopping There. Any Way,  Sir,  I Dare Say They Are Already Away From Paris."   The Stranger Regarded Hedges Attentively,  Rather To The Discomfiture Of That Functionary,  Who Thought He Was Doubted. He Then Asked A Great Many Questions,  Some About Lord Hartledon's Personal Habits,  Some About Lady Maude: The Butler Answered Them Freely Or Cautiously,  As He Thought He Might,  Feeling Inclined All The While To Chase The Intruder Off The Premises. Presently He Turned His Attention On The House.   "A Fine Old Place,  This,  Mr. Butler."   "Yes,  Sir."   "I Suppose I Could Look Over It,  If I Wished?"   Hedges Hesitated. He Was Privately Asking Himself Whether The Law Would Allow The Stranger,  If He Had Come After Any Debt Of Lord Hartledon's,  To Refuse To Leave The House,  Once He Got Into It.   "I Could Ask Lady Kirton,  Sir,  If You Particularly Wished It."   "Lady Kirton? You Have Some One In The House,  Then!"   "The Dowager Lady Kirton's Here,  Sir. One Of Her Sons Also--Captain Kirton; But He Is Confined To His Room."   "Then I Would Rather Not Go In," Said The Stranger Quickly. "I'm Very Disappointed To Have Come All This Way And Not Find Lord Hartledon."   "Can I Forward Any Letter For You,  Sir? If You'd Like To Intrust One To Me,  I'll Send It As Soon As We Know Of Any Certain Address."   "No--No,  I Think Not," Said The Stranger,  Musingly. "There Might Be Danger," He Muttered To Himself,  But Hedges Caught The Words.   He Stood Swaying The Umbrella-Handle About,  Looking Down At It,  As If That Would Assist His Decision. Then He Looked At Hedges.   "My Business With Lord Hartledon Is Quite Private,  And I Would Rather Not Write. I'll Wait Until He Is Back In England: And See Him Then."   "What Name,  Sir?" Asked Hedges,  As The Stranger Turned Away.   "I Would Prefer Not To Leave My Name," Was The Candid Answer. "Good Evening."   He Walked Briskly Down The Avenue,  And Hedges Stood Looking After Him, Slightly Puzzled In His Mind.   "I Don't Believe It's A Creditor; That I Don't. He Looks Like A Parson To Me. But It's Some Trouble Though,  If It's Not Debt. 'Danger' Was The Word: 'There Might Be Danger.' Danger In Writing,  He Meant. Any Way,  I'm Glad He Didn't Go In To That Ferreting Old Dowager. And Whatever It May Be,  His Lordship's Able To Pay It Now." Chapter 18 (A Chance Meeting) Some Few Weeks Went By. On A Fine June Morning Lord And Lady Hartledon Were Breakfasting At Their Hotel In The Rue Rivoli. She Was Listlessly Playing With Her Cup; He Was Glancing Over _Galignani's_.   "Maude," He Suddenly Exclaimed,  "The Fountains Are To Play On Sunday At Versailles. Will You Go To See Them?"   "I Am Tired Of Sight-Seeing,  And Tired Of Paris Too," Was Lady Hartledon's Answer,  Spoken With Apathy.   "Are You?" He Returned,  With Animation,  As Though Not Sorry To Hear The Avowal. "Then We Won't Stay In Paris Any Longer. When Shall We Leave?"   "Are The Letters Not Late This Morning?" She Asked,  Allowing The Question To Pass.   Lord Hartledon Glanced At The Clock. "Very Late: And We Are Late Also. Are You Expecting Any In Particular?"   "I Don't Know. This Chocolate Is Cold."   "That Is Easily Remedied," Said He,  Rising To Ring The Bell. "They Can Bring In Some Fresh."   "And Keep Us Waiting Half-An-Hour!" She Grumbled.   "The Hotel Is Crammed Up To The Mansarde," Said Good-Natured Lord Hartledon,  Who Was Easily Pleased,  And Rather Tolerant Of Neglect In French Hotels. "Is Not That The Right Word,  Maude? You Took Me To Task Yesterday For Saying Garret. The Servants Are Run Off Their Legs."   "Then The Hotel Should Keep More Servants. I Am Quite Sick Of Having To Ring Twice. A Week Ago I Wished I Was Out Of The Place."   "My Dear Maude,  Why Did You Not Say So? If You'd Like To Go On At Once To Germany--"   "Lettres Et Journal Pour Monsieur," Interrupted A Waiter,  Entering With Two Letters And The _Times_.   "One For You,  Maude," Handing A Letter To His Wife. "Don't Go," He Continued To The Waiter; "We Want Some More Chocolate; This Is Cold. Tell Him In French,  Maude."   But Lady Hartledon Did Not Hear; Or If She Heard,  Did Not Heed; She Was Already Absorbed In The Contents Of Her Letter.   "Ici," Said Hartledon,  Pushing The Chocolate-Pot Towards The Man,  And Rallying The Best French He Could Command,  "Encore Du Chocolat. Toute Froide,  _This_. Et Puis Depechez Vous; Il Est Tarde,  Et Nous Avons Besoin De Sortir."   The Man Was Accustomed To The French Of Englishmen,  And Withdrew Without Moving A Muscle Of His Face. But Lady Hartledon's Ears Had Been Set On Edge.   "_Don't_ Attempt French Again,  Val. They'll Understand You If You Speak In English."   "Did I Make Any Mistake?" He Asked Good-Humouredly. "I Could Speak French Once; But Am Out Of Practice. It's The Genders Bother One."   "Fine French It Must Have Been!" Thought Her Ladyship. "Who Is Your Letter From?"   "My Bankers,  I Think. About Germany,  Maude--Would You Like To Go There?"   "Yes. Later. After We Have Been To London."   "To London!"   "We Will Go To London At Once,  Percival; Stay There For The Rest Of The Season,  And Then--"   "My Dear," He Interrupted,  His Face Overcast,  "The Season Is Nearly Over. It Will Be Of No Use Going There Now."   "Plenty Of Use. We Shall Have Quite Six Weeks Of It. Don't Look Cross, Val; I Have Set My Heart Upon It."   "But Have You Considered The Difficulties? In The First Place,  We Have No House In Town; In The Second--"   "Oh Yes We Have: A Very Good House."   Lord Hartledon Paused,  And Looked At Her; He Thought She Was Joking. "Where Is It?" He Asked In Merry Tones; "At The Top Of The Monument?"   "It Is In Piccadilly," She Coolly Replied. "Do You Remember,  Some Days Ago,  I Read Out An Advertisement Of A House That Was To Be Let There For The Remainder Of The Season,  And Remarked That It Would Suit Us?"   "That It Might Suit Us,  Had We Wanted One," Put In Val.   "I Wrote Off At Once To Mamma,  And Begged Her To See After It And Engage It For Us," She Continued,  Disregarding Her Husband's Amendment. "She Now Tells Me She Has Done So,  And Ordered Servants Up From Hartledon. By The Time This Letter Reaches Me She Says It Will Be In Readiness."   Lord Hartledon In His Astonishment Could Scarcely Find Words To Reply. "You Wrote--Yourself--And Ordered The House To Be Taken?"   "Yes. You Are Difficult To Convince,  Val."   "Then I Think It Was Your Duty To Have First Consulted Me,  Lady Maude," He Said,  Feeling Deeply Mortified.   "Thank You," She Laughed. "I Have Not Been Lady Maude This Two Months."   "I Beg Your Pardon,  Lady Hartledon."   "Now Don't Pretend To Be Offended,  Val. I Have Only Saved You Trouble."   "Maude," He Said,  Rallying His Good Humour,  "It Was Not Right. Let Us--For Heaven's Sake Let Us Begin As We Mean To Go On: Our Interests Must Be _One_,  Not Separate. Why Did You Not Tell Me You Wished To Return To London,  And Allow Me To See After An Abode For Us? It Would Have Been The Proper Way."   "Well,  The Truth Is,  I Saw You Did Not Want To Go; You Kept Holding Back From It; And If I _Had_ Spoken You Would Have Shillyshallied Over It Until The Season Was Over. Every One I Know Is In London Now."   The Waiter Entered With The Fresh Chocolate,  And Retired Again. Lord Hartledon Was Standing At The Window Then. His Wife Went Up To Him,  And Stole Her Hand Within His Arm.   "I'm Sorry If I Have Offended You,  Val. It's No Great Matter To Have Done."   "I Think It Was,  Maude. However--Don't Act For Yourself In Future; Let Me Know Your Wishes. I Do Not Think You Have Expressed A Wish,  Or Half A Wish,  Since Our Marriage,  But I Have Felt A Pleasure In Gratifying It."   "You Good Old Fellow! But I Am Given To Having A Will Of My Own,  And To Act Independently. I'm Like Mamma In That. Val,  We Will Start To-Morrow: Have You Any Orders For The Servants? I Can Transmit Them Through Mamma."   "I Have No Orders. This Is Your Expedition,  Maude,  Not Mine; And,  I Assure You,  I Feel Like A Man In Utter Darkness In Regard To It. Allow Me To See Your Mother's Letter."   Lady Hartledon Had Put The Letter Safely Into Her Pocket.   "I Would Rather Not,  Percival: It Contains A Few Private Words To Myself, And Mamma Has Always An Objection To Her Letters Being Shown. I'll Read You All Necessary Particulars. You Must Let Me Have Some Money To-Day."   "How Much?" Asked He,  From Between His Compressed Lips.   "Oceans. I Owe For Millinery And Things. And,  Val,  I'll Go To Versailles This Afternoon,  If You Like. I Want To See Some Of The Rooms Again."   "Very Well," He Answered.   She Poured Out Some Chocolate,  Took It Hurriedly,  And Quitted The Room, Leaving Her Husband In A Disheartening Reverie. That Lady Hartledon And Maude Kirton Were Two Very Distinct Persons He Had Discovered Already; The One Had Been All Gentleness And Childlike Suavity,  The Other Was Positive,  Extravagant,  And Self-Willed; The One Had Made A Pretence Of Loving Him Beyond All Other Things In Life,  The Other Was Making Very Little Show Of Loving Him At All,  Or Of Concealing Her Indifference. Lord Hartledon Was Not The Only Husband Who Has Been Disagreeably Astonished By A Similar Metamorphosis.   The Following Was The Letter Of The Countess-Dowager:     "Darling Maude,     "I Have _Secured_ The _House_ You Write About And Send By This _Post_   For Hedges And A Few Of The Rest From _Hartledon_. It Won't Accommodate   A Large _Establishment_ I Can Tell You And You'll Be _Disappointed_   When You Come Over To Take _Possession_ Which You Can Do When You   _Choose_. Val Was A _Fool_ For Letting His Town House In The Spring But   Of Course We Know He Is _One_ And Must Put Up With It. Whatever You   _Do_,  Don't _Consult_ Him About _Any Earthly Thing_ Take _Your Own   Way_,  He Never Did Have _Much_ Of A Will And You Must Let Him _Have   None_ For The Future. You've Got A Splendid _Chance_ Can Spend _What   You Like_ And Rule In _Society_ And He'll Subside Into A _Tame   Spaniel_.     "Maude If You Are Such An Idiot I'll _Shake_ You. Find You've Made A   _Dredful_ Mistake?--Can't Bear Your Husband?--Keep Thinking Always Of   _Edward_? A Child Might Write Such Utter _Rubish_ But Not You,  What   Does It Matter Whether One's Husband Is _Liked_ Or _Disliked_,  Provided   He Gives One _Position_ And _Wealth_? Go To Amiens And Stop With _Jane_   For A _Week_ And See Her _Plight_ And Then Grumble At Your Own,  You   _Are_ An Idiot.     "I'm Quite _Glad_ About Your Taking This Town-_House_,  And Shall Enter   Into _Posession_ Myself As Soon As The Servants Are Up,  And Await You.   _Bob's_ Quite _Well_ And Joins To-Day And Of Course _Gives Up_ His   Lodgings,  Which Have Been _Wretchedly Confined_ And Uncomfortable And   Where I Should Have Gone To But For This _Move_ Of Yours I Don't Know.   Mind You Bring Me Over A Parisian _Bonnet_ Or Two Or Some Articles Of   That _Sort_. I'm Nearly In _Rags_,  Kirton's As Undutiful As He _Can_ Be   But It's That _Wife_ Of His.     "Your Affectionate Mother,     "C. Kirton."   The Letter Will Give You Some Guide To The Policy Of Maude Hartledon Since Her Marriage. She Did Find She Had Made A Mistake. She Cared No More For Her Husband Now Than She Had Cared For Him Before; And It Was A Positive Fact That She Despised Him For Walking So Tamely Into The Snare Laid For Him By Herself And Her Mother. Nevertheless She Triumphed; He Had Made Her A Peeress,  And She Did Care For That; She Cared Also For The Broad Lands Of Hartledon. That She Was Unwise In Assuming Her Own Will So Promptly,  With Little Regard To Consulting His,  She Might Yet Discover.   At Versailles That Day--To Which Place They Went In Accordance With Maude's Wish--There Occurred A Rencontre Which Lord Hartledon Would Willingly Have Gone To The Very Ends Of The Earth To Avoid. It Happened To Be Rather Full For Versailles; Many Of The Visitors In Paris Apparently Having Taken It Into Their Minds To Go; Indeed,  Maude's Wish Was Induced By The Fact That Some Of Her Acquaintances In The Gay Capital Were Going Also.   You May Possibly Remember A Very Small Room In The Galleries,  Exceedingly Small As Compared With The Rest,  Chiefly Hung With English Portraits. They Were In This Room,  Amidst The Little Crowd That Filled It,  When Lord Hartledon Became Aware That His Wife Had Encountered Some Long-Lost Friend. There Was Much Greeting And Shaking Of Hands. He Caught The Name--Kattle; And Being A Somewhat Singular Name,  He Recognised It For That Of The Lady Who Had Been Sojourning At Cannes,  And Had Sent The News Of Miss Ashton's Supposed Engagement To The Countess-Dowager. There Was The Usual Babble On Both Sides--Where Each Was Staying,  Had Been Staying, Would Be Staying; And Then Lord Hartledon Heard The Following Words From Mrs. Kattle.   "How Strange I Should Have Seen You! I Have Met You,  The Fords,  And The Ashtons Here,  And Did Not Know That Any Of You Were In Paris. It's True I Only Arrived Yesterday. Such A Long Illness,  My Dear,  I Had At Turin!"   "The Ashtons!" Involuntarily Repeated Maude. "Are They Here?--In The Chateau?" And It Instantly Occurred To Her How She Should Like To Meet Them,  And Parade Her Triumph. If Ever A Spark Of Feeling For Her Husband Arose Within Maude's Heart,  It Was When She Thought Of Anne Ashton. She Was Bitterly Jealous Of Her Still.   "Yes,  Here; I Saw Them Not Three Minutes Ago. They Are Only Now On Their Road Home From Cannes. Fancy Their Making So Long A Stay!"   "You Wrote Mamma Word That Miss Ashton Was About To Marry Some Colonel Barnaby."   Mrs. Kattle Laughed. It Is Possible That Written News Might Have Been _Asked For_ By The Countess-Dowager.   "Well,  My Dear,  And So I Did; But It Turned Out To Be A Mistake. He Did Admire Her; There Was No Mistake About That; And I Dare Say She Might Have Had Him If She Liked. How's Your Brother And His Poor Leg?"   "Oh,  He Is Well," Answered Maude. "Au Revoir; I Can't Stand This Crush Any Longer."   It Was Really A Crush Just Then In The Room; And Though Maude Escaped From It Dexterously,  Lord Hartledon Did Not. He Was Wedged In Behind Some Stout Women,  And Had The Pleasure Of Hearing Another Word Or Two From Mrs. Kattle.   "Who Was That?" Asked A Lady,  Who Appeared To Be Her Companion.   "Lady Hartledon. He Was Only The Younger Brother Until A Few Months Ago, But The Elder One Got Drowned In Some Inexplicable Manner On His Own Estate,  And This One Came Into The Title. The Old Dowager Began At Once To Angle For Him,  And Succeeded In Hooking Him. She Used To Write Me Word How It Progressed."   "She Is Very Beautiful."   "Very."   Lord Hartledon Made His Escape,  And Found His Wife Looking Round For Him. She Was Struck By The Aspect Of His Face.   "Are You Ill,  Percival?"   "Ill? No. But I Don't Care How Soon We Get Out Of These Rooms. I Can't Think What Brings So Many People In Them To-Day."   "He Has Heard That _She's_ Here,  And Would Like To Avoid Her," Thought Maude As She Took The Arm He Held Out. "The Large Rooms Are Empty Enough, I'm Sure," She Remarked. "Shall We Have Time To Go To The Trianon?"   "If You Like. Yes."   He Began To Hurry Through The Rooms. Maude,  However,  Was In No Mood To Be Hurried,  But Stopped Here And Stopped There. All At Once They Met A Large Party Of Friends; Those She Had Originally Expected To Meet. Quitting Her Husband's Arm,  She Became Lost Amongst Them.   There Was No Help For It; And Lord Hartledon,  Resigning Himself To The Detention,  Took Up His Standing Before The Pictures And Stared At Them, His Back To The Room. He Saw A Good Deal To Interest Him,  In Spite Of His Rather Tumultuous State Of Mind,  And Remained There Until He Found Himself Surrounded By Other Spectators. Turning Hastily With A View To Escaping,  He Trod Upon A Lady's Dress. She Looked Up At His Word Of Apology,  And They Stood Face To Face--Himself And Miss Ashton!   That Both Utterly Lost Their Presence Of Mind Would Have Been Conclusive To The Spectators,  Had Any Regarded Them; But None Did So. They Were Strangers Amidst The Crowd. For The Space Of A Moment Each Gazed On The Other,  Spell-Bound. Lord Hartledon's Honest Blue Eyes Were Riveted On Her Face With A Strangely Yearning Expression Of Repentance--Her Sweet Face, Which Had Turned As White As Ashes. He Wore Mourning Still For His Brother,  And Was The Most Distinguished-Looking Man In The Chateau That Day. Anne Was In A Trailing Lilac Silk,  With A White Gossamer-Bonnet. That The Heart Of Each Went Out To The Other,  As It Had Perhaps Never Gone Out Before,  It May Be No Sin To Say. Sin Or No Sin,  It Was The Truth. The Real Value Of A Thing,  As You Know,  Is Never Felt Until It Is Lost. For Two Months Each Had Been Dutifully Striving To Forget The Other,  And Believed They Were Succeeding; And This First Accidental Meeting Roused Up The Past In All Its Fever Of Passion.   No More Conscious Of What He Did Than If He Had Been In A Dream,  Lord Hartledon Held Out His Hand; And She,  Quite As Unconscious,  Mechanically Met It With Hers. What Confused Words Of Greeting Went Forth From His Lips He Never Knew; She As Little; But This State Of Bewildered Feeling Lasted Only A Minute; Recollection Came To Both,  And She Strove To Withdraw Her Hand To Retreat.   "God Bless You,  Anne!" Was All He Whispered,  His Fervent Words Marred By Their Tone Of Pain; And He Wrung Her Hand As He Released It.   Turning Away He Caught The Eyes Of His Wife Riveted On Them; She Had Evidently Seen The Meeting,  And Her Colour Was High. Lord Hartledon Walked Straight Into The Next Room,  And Maude Went Up To Anne.   "How Do You Do,  Miss Ashton? I Am So Glad To Meet You. I Have Just Heard You Were Here From Mrs. Kattle. You Have Been Speaking To My Husband."   Anne Bowed; She Did Not Lose Her Presence Of Mind At _This_ Encounter. A Few Civil Words Of Reply Given With Courteous Dignity,  And She Moved Away With A Bright Flush On Her Cheek,  Towards Dr. And Mrs. Ashton,  Who Were Standing Arm-In-Arm Enraptured Before A Remote Picture,  Cognizant Of Nothing Else.   "How Thin She Looks!" Exclaimed Maude,  As She Rejoined Her Husband,  And Took His Arm.   "Who Looks Thin?"   "Miss Ashton. I Wonder She Did Not Fling Your Hand Away,  Instead Of Putting Her Own Into It!"   "Do You Wish To See The Trianon? We Shall Be Late."   "Yes,  I Do Wish To See It. But You Need Not Speak In That Tone: It Was Not My Fault That We Met Her."   He Answered Never A Syllable. His Lips Were Compressed To Pain,  And His Face Was Hectic; But He Would Not Be Drawn Into Reproaching His Wife By So Much As A Word,  For The Sort Of Taste She Was Displaying. The Manner In Which He Had Treated Miss Ashton And Her Family Was Ever In His Mind, More Or Less,  In All Its Bitter,  Humiliating Disgrace. The Worst Part Of It To Val Was,  That There Could Be No Reparation.   The Following Day Lord Hartledon And His Wife Took Their Departure From Paris; And If Anything Could Have Imparted Especial Gratification On His Arriving In London At The Hired House,  It Was To Find That His Wife's Mother Was Not In It. Val Had Come Home Against His Will; He Had Not Wished To Be In London That Season; Rather Would He Have Buried Himself And His Haunting Sense Of Shame On The Tolerant Continent; And He Certainly Had Not Wished His Wife To Make Her Debut In A Small Hired House. When He Let His Own,  Nothing Could Have Been Further From His Thoughts Than Marriage. As To This House--Lady Kirton Had Told Her Daughter She Would Be Disappointed In It; But When Maude Saw Its Dimensions,  Its Shabby Entrance,  Its Want Of Style Altogether,  She Was Dismayed. "And After That Glowing Advertisement!" She Breathed Resentfully. It Was One Of The Smallest Houses Facing The Green Park.   Hedges Came Forward With An Apology From The Countess-Dowager. An Apology For Not Invading Their House And Inflicting Her Presence Upon Them Uninvited! A Telegraphic Despatch From Lord Kirton Had Summoned Her To Ireland On The Previous Day; And Val's Face Grew Bright As He Heard It.   "What Was The Matter,  Hedges?" Inquired His Mistress. "I'm Sure My Brother Would Not Telegraph Unless It Was Something."   "The Message Didn't Say,  My Lady. It Was Just A Few Words,  Asking Her Ladyship To Go Off By The First Train,  But Giving No Reason."   "I Wonder She Went,  Then," Observed Val To His Wife,  As They Looked Into The Different Rooms. But Maude Did Not Wonder: She Knew How Anxious Her Mother Was To Be On Good Terms With Her Eldest Son,  From Whom She Received Occasional Supplies. Rather Would She Quarrel With The Whole World Than With Him.   "I Think It A Good Thing She Has Gone,  Maude," Said He. "There Certainly Would Not Have Been Room For Her And For Us In This House."   "And So Do I," Answered Maude,  Looking Round Her Bed-Chamber. "If Mamma Fancies She's Going To Inflict Herself Upon Us For Good She's Mistaken. She And I Might Quarrel,  Perhaps; For I Know She'd Try To Control Me. Val,  What Are We To Do In This Small House?"   "The Best We Can. We Have Made The Bargain,  You Are Growing--For That Matter,  Xmas Is Coming!--But Still We Are Very Shelterless. I Think I Would Like To Plant In Bed A, _Inter Alia_--Some Shrubby Things. Now I Know Your Views About Moving Shrubs Are Somewhat Wider Than Those Of The Every-Day Gardener's--But Do You Think I Dare Plant A Bush Of Lauristinus Now? It Would Have To Travel A Little Way,  I Fancy. There Is No Man Actually In Taunton,  I Fear,  With Good Shrubs. I Mean Also To Get Some Japanese Maples. I Think I Would Like A Copper-Coloured-Leaved _Nut Tree_. Are Nuts Hardy? I Fear Gum Cistus Is Coming Into Flower--And Unfit To Move! How About Rhododendrons? The Soil Here Is Said To Suit Them Wonderfully. I Could Not Pretend To Buy Peat For Them--But I Know Hardy Sorts Will Do In A Firm Fair Soil,  And I Should Like To Plant A Lilac One--A Crimson--A Blush--And A White. I Think They Would Do Fairly And Shelter Small Fry.   _Can I Risk It Now?_ And How About Hardy Azaleas--Things I Love! If You Say--We Are Too Near Summer Sun For Them To Get Established--I Must Wait Till Autumn.   How Has Mrs. Going Stood The Biting Winds? Very Unfavourable For One's Aches And Pains?   Tell Her I Have Got One Of Those Rather Queer Yellow Flowers You Condescended To Notice!--To Bring To Her After Easter.   Is It Not Terrible About Prince Leopold? That Poor Young Wife--And The Queen! What Bitter Sorrow She Has Known; Also I Do Regard The Loss As A Great One For The Country,  He Was So Enlightened And So Desirous Of Use In His Generation.   Yours,  J.H.E.         To Mrs. Jelf.         My Dearest Marny,   Thank You,  Dear,  With Much Love For Your Easter Card. It Is Lovely (And Easter Cards Are Not Very Beautiful As A Rule). It Is On A Little Stand On My Knick-Knack Table--And Looks So Well!   I Send You A Few Bits From My Garden As An Easter Greeting. They Are Not Much--But We Are In A "Nip" Of Bitter N.E. Winds--And Nothing Will "Come Out."   Also I Rather Denuded My Patch To Send A Large Box To Undine To Make The Easter Wreaths For My Mother's Grave. I Was Really Rather Proud Of What I Managed To Scrape Together--Every Bit Out Of My Very Own Patch--And Consequently Of My Very Own Planting!   I've Got Neuralgia To-Day With The Wind And A Fourteen-Miles Drive For Luncheon And Two Sets Of Callers Since I Got Back!--So I Can't Write A Letter--But I Want You To Tell Me When You Think There's A Chance Of Your Taking A Run To See Me! I Seem To Have Such Lots To Say! I Have Found Another Charm (Besides Red Pots) Of Our Market. If One Goes _Very Early_ On Saturday--One Gets Such Nice Old-Fashioned Flowers, "Roots," And Big Ones Too--Very Cheap! It's A Most Fascinating _Ruination By Penny-Worths_!   Good Luck To You,  Dear,  In Your Fresh Settling Down In The Heimath Land.   Mrs. M---- (Where We Were _Lunching_) Asked Tenderly After My Large Young Family--As Strangers Usually Do. Then She Said,  "But You Write So Sympathetically Of Children,  And 'A Soldier's Children' Is So Real--I Thought They Must Be Yours." On Which I Explained The Dear Queers To Her. To Whom Be Love! And To Richard.   Ever,  Dear,  Yours Lovingly, J.H.E.         To Mrs. Going.   Midsummer Day,  1884.         My Dear Mrs. Going,   Not A Moment Till Now Have I Found--To Tell You I Got Home Safe And Sound,  And That Your Delicious Cream Was Duly And Truly Appreciated!   The Last Of It Was Merged In An Admirable Gooseberry Fool!   The Roses Suffered By The Hot Journey--But Even The Least Flourishing Of Them Received Great Admiration--From Their Size--As The Skeletons Of Saurians Make A Smaller World Stand Aghast!!!   This Last Sentence Smacks Of Jules Verne! I Don't Care Much For Him--After All. It Is Rather _Bookmaking_.   But I Have Had A Lot Of Hearty Laughs Over "The Heroine"! It Is Very Funny--If Not _Very_ Refined. Some Of The Situations Admirable. There Is Something In The Girl's Calling Her Father "Wilkinson" All The Way Through--Quite As Comic As Anything In _Vice Versa_--A Book Which I Never Managed To Get To The End Of.   I Hope Your Wedding Went Well To-Day. Ps,  For Wives To Do So."   "Some Do,  And Some Don't," Observed Thomas Carr,  Who Never Flattered At The Expense Of Truth. "Are You Going Down To Hartledon?"   "Hartledon!" With A Perceptible Shiver. "In The Mind I Am In,  I Shall Never Visit Hartledon Again; There Are Some In Its Vicinity I Would Rather Not Insult By My Presence. Why Do You Bring Up Disagreeable Subjects?"   "You Will Have To Get Over That Feeling," Observed Mr. Carr,  Disregarding The Hint,  And Taking Out His Probing-Knife. "And The Sooner It Is Got Over The Better For All Parties. You Cannot Become An Exile From Your Own Place. Are They At Calne Now?"   "Yes. They Were In Paris Just Before We Left It,  And There Was An Encounter At Versailles. I Wished Myself Dead; I Declare I Did. A Day Or Two After We Came To England They Crossed Over,  And Went Straight Down To Calne. There--Don't Say Any More."   "The Longer You Keep Away From Hartledon The Greater Effort It Will Cost You To Go Down To It; And--"   "I Won't Go To Hartledon," He Interrupted,  In A Sort Of Fury; "Neither Perhaps Would You,  In My Place."   "Sir," Cried Mr. Carr's Clerk,  Bustling In And Addressing His Master, "You Are Waited For At The Chambers Of Serjeant Gale. The Consultation Is On."   Lord Hartledon Rose.   "I Will Not Detain You,  Carr; Business Must Be Attended To. Will You Come And Dine With Us This Evening? Only Me And My Wife. Here's Where We Are Staying--Piccadilly. My Own House Is Let,  You Know."   "I Have No Engagement,  And Will Come With Pleasure," Said Mr. Carr, Taking The Card. "What Hour?"   "Ah,  That's Just What I Can't Tell You. Lady Hartledon Orders Dinner To Suit Her Engagements--Any Time Between Six And Nine! I Never Know. We Are A Fashionable Couple,  Don't You See?"   "Stay,  Though,  Hartledon; I Forget. I Have A Business Appointment For Half-Past Eight. Perhaps I Can Put It Off."   "Come Up At Six. You'll Be All Right,  Then,  In Any Case."   Lord Hartledon Left The Temple,  And Sauntered Towards Home. He Had No Engagement On Hand--Nothing To Kill Time. He And His Wife Were Falling Naturally Into The Way Of--As He Had Just Cynically Styled It--Fashionable People. She Went Her Way And He Went His.   Many A Cabman Held Up His Hand Or His Whip; But In His Present Mood Walking Was Agreeable To Him: Why Should He Hurry Home,  When He Had Nothing On Earth To Do There? So He Stared Here,  And Gazed There,  And Stopped To Speak To This Acquaintance,  And Walked A Few Steps With That, Went Into His Club For Ten Minutes,  And Arrived Home At Last.   His Wife's Carriage Was At The Door Waiting For Her. She Was Bound On An Expedition To Chiswick: Lord Hartledon Had Declined It. He Met Her Hastening Out As He Entered,  And She Was Looking Very Cross.   "How Late You Are Going,  Maude!"   "Yes,  There Has Been A Mistake," She Said Peevishly,  Turning In With Him To A Small Room They Used As A Breakfast-Room. "I Have Been Waiting All This Time For Lady Langton,  And She,  I Find,  Has Been Waiting For Me. I'm Now Going Round To Take Her Up. Oh,  I Have Secured That Opera-Box,  Val, But At An Extravagant Price,  Considering The Little Time That Remains Of The Season."   "What Opera-Box?"   "Didn't I Tell You? It's One I Heard Of Yesterday. I Was Not Going Again To Put Up With The Wretched Little Box They Palmed You Off With. I Did Tell You That."   "It Was The Only One I Could Get,  Maude: There Was No Other Choice."   "Yes,  I Know. Well,  I Have Secured Another For The Rest Of The Season, And You Must Not Talk About Extravagance,  Please."   "Very Well," Said Val,  With A Smile. "For What Hour Have You Ordered Dinner?"   "Nine O'clock."   "Nine O'clock! That's Awkward--And Late."   "Why Awkward? You May Have To Wait For Me Even Then. It Is Impossible To Say When We Shall Get Home From Chiswick. All The World Will Be There."   "I Have Just Asked Carr To Dine With Us,  And Told Him To Come At Six. I Don't Fancy These Hard-Working Men Care To Wait So Long For Their Dinner. And He Has An Appointment For Half-Past Eight."   The Colour Came Flushing Into Lady Hartledon's Face,  An Angry Light Into Her Eyes.   "You Have Asked Carr To Dinner! How Dared You?"   Val Looked Up In Quiet Amazement.   "Dared!"   "Well--Yes. Dared!"   "I Do Not Understand You,  Maude. I Suppose I May Exercise The Right Of Inviting A Friend To Dinner."   "Not When It Is Objectionable To Me. I Dislike That Man Carr,  And Will Not Receive Him."   "You Can Have No Grounds For Disliking Him," Returned Lord Hartledon Warmly. "He Has Been A Good And True Friend To Me Ever Since I Knew What Friendship Meant; And He Is A Good And True Man."   "Too Much Of A Friend," She Sarcastically Retorted. "You Don't Need Him Now,  And Can Drop Him."   "Maude," Said Lord Hartledon,  Very Quietly,  "I Have Fancied Several Times Lately That You Are A Little Mistaking Me. I Am Not To Have A Will Of My Own; I Am To Bend In All Things To Yours; You Are To Be Mistress And Master,  I A Nonentity: Is It Not So? This Is A Mistake. No Woman Ever Had A Better Or More Indulgent Husband Than You Shall Find In Me: But In All Necessary Things,  Where It Is Needful And Expedient That I Should Exercise My Own Judgment,  And Act As Master,  I Shall Do It."   She Paused In Very Astonishment: The Tone Was So Calmly Decisive.   "My Dear,  Let Us Have No More Of This; Something Must Have Vexed You To-Day."   "We Will Have No More Of It," She Passionately Retorted; "And I'll Have No More Of Your Thomas Carrs. It Is Not Right That You Should Bring A Man Here Who Has Deliberately Insulted Me. Be Quiet,  Lord Hartledon; He Has. What Else Was It But An Insult--His Going Out Of The Chapel In The Manner He Did,  When We Were Before The Altar? It Was A Direct Intimation That He Did Not Countenance The Marriage. He Would Have Preferred,  I Suppose, That You Should Marry Your Country Sweetheart,  Anne Ashton."   A Hot Flush Rose To Lord Hartledon's Brow,  But His Tone Was Strangely Temperate. "I Have Already Warned You,  Maude,  That We Shall Do Well To Discard That Name From Our Discussions,  And If Possible From Our Thoughts; It May Prove Better For Both Of Us."   "Better For You,  Perhaps; But You Are _Not_ Going To Exercise Any Control Over My Will,  Or Words,  Or Action; And So I Tell You At Once. I'm Quite Old Enough To Be Out Of Leading-Strings,  And I'll Be Mistress In My Own House. You Will Do Well To Send A Note To Your Amiable Friend Carr; It May Save Him A Useless Journey; For At My Table He Shall Not Sit. Now You Know,  Val."   She Spoke Impatiently,  Haughtily,  And Swept Out To Her Carriage. Val Did Not Follow To Place Her In; He Positively Did Not,  But Left Her To The Servants. Never In His Whole Life Perhaps Had He Felt So Nettled,  Never So Resolute: The Once Vacillating,  Easily-Persuaded Man,  When Face To Face With People,  Was Speedily Finding The Will He Had Only Exercised Behind Their Backs. He Rang The Bell For Hedges.   "Her Ladyship Has Ordered Dinner For Nine O'clock," He Said,  When The Butler Appeared.   "I Believe So,  My Lord."   "It Will Be Inconvenient To Me To Wait So Long To-Day. I Shall Dine At Seven. You Can Serve It In This Room,  Leaving The Dining-Room For Lady Hartledon. Mr. Carr Dines With Me."   So Hedges Gave The Necessary Orders,  And Dinner Was Laid In The Breakfast-Room. Thomas Carr Came In,  Bringing The News That He Had Succeeded In Putting Off His Appointment. Lord Hartledon Received Him In The Same Room,  Fearing Possibly The Drawing-Room Might Be Invaded By His Wife. She Was Just As Likely To Be Home Early From Chiswick As Late.   "We Have It To Ourselves,  Carr,  And I Am Not Sorry. There Was No Certainty About My Wife's Return,  So I Thought We'd Dine Alone."   They Very Much Enjoyed Their Tete-A-Tete Dinner; As They Had Enjoyed Many A One In Hartledon's Bachelor Days. Thomas Carr--One Of The Quiet,  Good Men In A Fast World--Was An Admirable Companion,  Full Of Intelligence And Conversation. Hedges Left Them Alone After The Cloth Was Removed,  But In A Very Few Minutes Returned; His Step Rather More Subdued Than Usual,  As If He Came Upon Some Secret Mission.   "Here's That Stranger Come Again,  Sir," He Began,  In Low Tones; And It May As Well Be Remarked That In Moments Of Forgetfulness He Often Did Address His Master As He Used To Address Him In The Past. "He Asked If--"   "What Stranger?" Rather Testily Interposed Lord Hartledon. "I Am At Dinner,  And Can't See Any Stranger Now. What Are You Thinking About, Hedges?"   "It Is What I Said," Returned Hedges; "But He Would Not Take The Answer. He Said He Had Come A Long Way To See Your Lordship,  And He Would See You; His Business Was Very Important. My Lady Asked Him--"   "Has Lady Hartledon Returned?"   "She Came In Now,  My Lord,  While I Was Denying You To Him. Her Ladyship Heard Him Say He Would See You,  And She Inquired What His Business Was; But He Did Not Tell Her. It Was Private Business,  He Remarked,  And Could Only Be Entered Into With Your Lordship."   "Who Is It,  Hedges? Do You Know Him?"   Lord Hartledon Had Dropped His Voice To Confidential Tones. Hedges Was Faithful,  And Had Been Privy To Some Of His Embarrassments In The Old Days. The Man Looked At The Barrister,  And Seemed To Hesitate.   "Speak Out. You Can Say Anything Before Mr. Carr."   "I Don't Know Him," Answered Hedges. "It Is The Gentleman Who Came To Hartledon The Week After Your Lordship's Marriage,  Asking Five Hundred Questions,  And Wanting--"   "He,  Is It?" Interrupted Val. "You Told Me About Him When I Came Home, I Remember. Go On,  Hedges."   "That's All,  My Lord. Except That He Is Here Now"--And Hedges Nodded His Head Towards The Room-Door. "He Seems Very Inquisitive. When My Lady Went Upstairs,  He Asked Whether That Was The Countess,  And Followed Her To The Foot Of The Stairs To Look After Her. I Never Saw Any Gentleman Stare So."   Val Played With His Wine-Glass,  And Pondered. "I Don't Believe I Owe A Shilling In The World," Quoth He--Betraying The Bent Of His Thoughts,  And Speaking To No One In Particular. "I Have Squared-Up Every Debt,  As Far As I Know."   "He Does Not Look Like A Creditor," Observed Hedges,  With A Fatherly Air. "Quite Superior To That: More Like A Parson. It's His Manner That Makes One Doubt. There Was A Mystery About It At Hartledon That I Didn't Like; And He Refused To Give His Name. His Insisting On Seeing Your Lordship Now,  At Dinner Or Not At Dinner,  Is Odd Too; His Voice Is Quiet,  Just As If He Possessed The Right To Do This. I Didn't Know What To Do,  And As I Say,  He's In The Hall."   "Show Him In Somewhere,  Hedges. Lady Hartledon Is In The Drawing-Room,  I Suppose: Let Him Go Into The Dining-Room."   "Her Ladyship's Dinner Is Being Laid There,  My Lord," Dissented The Cautious Retainer. "She Said It Was To Be Served As Soon As It Was Ready, Having Come Home Earlier Than She Expected."   "Deuce Take It!" Testily Responded Val,  "One Can't Swing A Cat In These Cramped Hired Houses. Show Him Into My Smoking-Den Upstairs."   "Let Me Go There," Said Mr. Carr,  "And You Can See Him In This Room."   "No; Keep To Your Wine,  Carr. Take Him Up There,  Hedges."   The Butler Retired,  And Lord Hartledon Turned To His Guest. "Carr,  Can You Give A Guess At The Fellow's Business?"   "It's Nothing To Trouble You. If You Have Overlooked Any Old Debt,  You Are Able To Give A Cheque For It. But I Should Rather Suspect Your Persevering Friend To Be Some Clergyman Or Missionary,  Bent On Drawing A Good Subscription From You."   Val Did Not Raise His Eyes. He Was Playing Again With His Empty Wine-Glass,  His Face Grave And Perplexed.   "Do They Serve Writs In These Cases?" He Suddenly Asked.   Mr. Carr Laughed. "Is The Time So Long Gone By That You Have Forgotten Yours? You Have Had Some In Your Day."   "I Am Not Thinking Of Debt,  Carr: That Is Over For Me. But There's No Denying That I Behaved Disgracefully To--You Know--And Dr. Ashton Has Good Reason To Be Incensed. Can He Be Bringing An Action Against Me,  And Is This Visit In Any Way Connected With It?"   "Nonsense," Said Mr. Carr.   "Is It Nonsense! I'm Sure I've Heard Of Their Dressing-Up These Serving-Officers As Clergymen,  To Entrap The Unwary. Well,  Call It Nonsense,  If You Like. What Of My Suggestion In Regard To Dr. Ashton?"   Thomas Carr Paused To Consider. That It Was Most Improbable In All Respects,  He Felt Sure; Next Door To Impossible.   "The Doctor Is Too Respectable A Man To Do Anything Of The Sort," He Answered. "He Is High-Minded,  Honourable,  Wealthy: There's No Inducement Whatever. _No._"   "Yes,  There May Be One: That Of Punishing Me By Bringing My Disgrace Before The World."   "You Forget That He Would Bring His Daughter's Name Before It At The Same Time. It Is Quite Out Of The Range Of Possibility. The Ashtons Are Not People To Seek Legal Reparation For Injury Of This Sort. But That Your Fears Are Blinding You,  You Would Never Suspect Them Of Being Capable Of It."   "The Stranger Is Upstairs,  My Lord," Interrupted Hedges,  Coming Back To The Room. "I Asked Him What Name,  And He Said Your Lordship Would Know Him When You Saw Him,  And There Was No Need To Give It."   Lord Hartledon Went Upstairs,  Marshalled By The Butler. Hedges Was Resenting The Mystery; Very Much On His Master's Account,  A Little On His Own,  For It Cannot Be Denied That He Was Given To Curiosity. He Threw Open The Door Of The Little Smoking-Den,  And In His Loftiest,  Loudest, Most Uncompromising Voice,  Announced:   "The Gentleman,  My Lord."   Then Retired,  And Shut Them In.   Thomas Carr Remained Alone. He Was Not Fond Of Wine,  And Did Not Help Himself During His Host's Absence. Five Minutes,  Ten Minutes, Half-An-Hour,  An Hour; And Still He Was Alone. At The End Of The First Half-Hour He Began To Think Val A Long Time; At The End Of The Hour He Feared Something Must Have Happened. Could He Be Quarrelling With The Mysterious Stranger? Could He Have Forgotten Him And Gone Out? Could He--   The Door Softly Opened,  And Lord Hartledon Came In. Was It Lord Hartledon? Thomas Carr Rose From His Chair In Amazement And Dread. It Was Like Him,  But With Some Awful Terror Upon Him. His Face Was Of An Ashy Whiteness; The Veins Of His Brow Stood Out; His Dry Lips Were Drawn.   "Good Heavens,  Hartledon!" Uttered Thomas Carr. "What Is It? You Look As If You Had Been Accused Of Murder."   "I Have Been Accused Of It," Gasped The Unhappy Man,  "Of Worse Than Murder. Ay,  And I Have Done It."   The Words Called Up A Strange Confusion Of Ideas In The Mind Of Thomas Carr. Worse Than Murder!   "What Is It?" Cried He,  Aloud. "I Am Beginning To Dream."   "Will You Stand By Me?" Rejoined Hartledon,  His Voice Seeming To Have Changed Into Something Curiously Hollow. "I Have Asked You Before For Trifles; I Ask You Now In The Extremity Of Need. Will You Stand By Me, And Aid Me With Your Advice?"   "Y--Es," Answered Mr. Carr,  His Excessive Astonishment Causing A Hesitation. "Where Is Your Visitor?"   "Upstairs. He Holds A Fearful Secret,  And Has Me In His Power. Do You Come Back With Me,  And Combat With Him Against Its Betrayal."   "A Fearful Secret!" Was Thomas Carr's Exclamation. "What Brings You With One?"   Lord Hartledon Only Groaned. "You Will Stand By Me,  Carr? Will You Come Upstairs And Do What You Can For Me?"   "I Am Quite Ready," Replied Thomas Carr,  Quickly. "I Will Stand By You Now,  As Ever. But--I Seem To Be In A Maze. Is It A True Charge?"   "Yes,  In So Far As That--But I Had Better Tell You The Story," He Broke Off,  Wiping His Brow. "I Must Tell It You Before You Go Upstairs."   He Linked His Arm Within His Friend's,  And Drew Him To The Window. It Was Broad Daylight Still,  But Gloomy There: The Window Had The Pleasure Of Reposing Under The Leads,  And Was Gloomy At Noon. Lord Hartledon Hesitated Still. "Elster's Folly!" Were The Words Mechanically Floating In The Mind Of Thomas Carr.   "It Is An Awful Story,  Carr; Bad And Wicked."   "Let Me Hear It At Once," Replied Thomas Carr.   "I Am In Danger Of--Of--In Short,  That Person Upstairs Could Have Me Apprehended To-Night. I Would Not Tell You But That I Must Do So. I Must Have Advice,  Assistance; But You'll Start From Me When You Hear It."   "I Will Stand By You,  Whatever It May Be. If A Man Has Ever Need Of A Friend,  It Must Be In His Extremity."   Lord Hartledon Stood,  And Whispered A Strange Tale. It Was Anything But Coherent To The Clear-Minded Barrister; Nevertheless,  As He Gathered One Or Two Of Its Points He Did Start Back,  As Hartledon Had Foretold,  And An Exclamation Of Dismay Burst From His Lips.   "And You Could _Marry_--With This Hanging Over Your Head!"   "Carr--"   The Butler Came In With An Interruption.   "My Lady Wishes To Know Whether Your Lordship Is Going Out With Her To-Night."   "Not To-Night," Answered Lord Hartledon,  Pointing To The Door For The Man To Make His Exit. "It Is Of Her I Think,  Not Of Myself," He Murmured To Mr. Carr.   "And He"--The Barrister Pointed Above To Indicate The Stranger--"Threatens To Have You Apprehended On The Charge?"   "I Hardly Know What He Threatens. _You_ Must Deal With Him,  Carr; I Cannot. Let Us Go; We Are Wasting Time."   As They Left The Room To Go Upstairs Lady Hartledon Came Out Of The Dining-Room And Crossed Their Path. She Was Deeply Mortified At Her Husband's Bringing Mr. Carr To The House After What She Had Said; And Most Probably Came Out At The Moment To Confront Them With Her Haughty And Disapproving Face. However That Might Have Been,  All Other Emotions Gave Place To Surprise,  When She Saw _Their_ Faces,  Each Bearing A Livid Look Of Fear.   "I Hope You Are Well,  Lady Hartledon," Said Mr. Carr.   She Would Not See The Offered Hand,  But Swept Onwards With A Cold Curtsey,  Stopping Just A Moment To Speak To Her Husband.   "You Are Not Going Out With Me,  Lord Hartledon?"   "I Cannot To-Night,  Maude. Business Detains Me."   She Passed Up The Stairs,  Vouchsafing No Other Word. They Lingered A Minute To Let Her Get Into The Drawing-Room.   "Poor Maude! What Will Become Of Her If This Is Brought Home To Me?"   "And If It Is Not Brought Home To You--The Fact Remains The Same," Said Mr. Carr,  In His Merciless Truth.   "And Our Children,  Our Children!" Groaned Hartledon,  A Hot Flush Of Dread Arising In His White Face.   They Shut Themselves In With The Stranger,  And The Conference Was Renewed. Presently Lights Were Rung For; Hedges Brought Them Himself, But Gained Nothing By The Movement; For Mr. Carr Heard Him Coming,  Rose Unbidden,  And Took Them From Him At The Door.   Lady Hartledon's Curiosity Was Excited. It Had Been Aroused A Little By The Stranger Himself; Secondly By Their Scared Faces; Thirdly By This Close Conference.   "Who Is That Strange Gentleman,  Hedges?" She Asked,  From The Drawing-Room,  As The Butler Descended.   "I Don't Know,  My Lady."   "What Is His Name?"   "I Have Not Heard It,  My Lady."   "He Looks Like A Clergyman."   "He Does,  My Lady."   Apparently Hedges Was Impenetrable,  And She Allowed Him To Go Down. Her Curiosity Was Very Much Excited; It May Be Said,  Uneasily Excited; There Is No Accounting For These Instincts That Come Over Us,  Shadowing Forth A Vague Sense Of Dread. Although Engaged Out That Night To More Than One Place,  Lady Hartledon Lingered On In The Drawing-Room.   They Came Out Of The Room At Last And Passed The Drawing-Room Door. She Pushed It To,  Only Peeping Out When They Had Gone By. There Was Nothing To Hear; They Were Talking Of Ordinary Matters. The Stranger,  In His Strong Scotch Accent,  Remarked What A Hot Day It Had Been. In Travelling, No Doubt Very,  Responded Mr. Carr. Lady Hartledon Condescended To Cautiously Put Her Head Over The Balustrades. There Was No Bell Rung; Lord Hartledon Showed His Visitor Out Himself.   "And Now For These Criminal Law Books,  Carr,  That Bear Upon The Case," He Said,  Returning From The Front-Door.   "I Must Go Down To My Chambers For Them."   "I Know They Can't Bring It Home To Me; I Know They Can't!" He Exclaimed, In Tones So Painfully Eager As To Prove To Lady Hartledon's Ears That He Thought They Could,  Whatever The Matter Might Be. "I'll Go With You, Carr; This Uncertainty Is Killing Me."   "There's Little Uncertainty About It,  I Fear," Was The Grave Reply. "You Had Better Look The Worst In The Face."   They Went Out,  Intending To Hail The First Cab. Very Much To Lord Hartledon's Surprise He Saw His Wife's Carriage Waiting At The Door,  The Impatient Horses Chafing At Their Delay. What Could Have Detained Her? "Wait For Me One Moment,  Carr," He Said. "Stop A Cab If You See One."   He Dashed Up To The Drawing-Room; His Wife Was Coming Forth Then,  Her Cloak And Gloves On,  Her Fan In Her Hand. "Maude,  My Darling," He Exclaimed,  "What Has Kept You? Surely You Have Not Waited For Me?--You Did Not Misunderstand Me?"   "I Hardly Know What Has Kept Me," She Evasively Answered. "It Is Late, But I'm Going Now."   It Never Occurred To Lord Hartledon That She Had Been Watching Or Listening. Incapable Of Any Meanness Of The Sort,  He Could Not Suspect It In Another. Lady Hartledon's Fertile Brain Had Been Suggesting A Solution Of This Mystery. It Was Rather Curious,  Perhaps,  That Her Suspicions Should Take The Same Bent That Her Husband's Did At First--That Of Instituting Law Proceedings By Dr. Ashton.   She Said Nothing. Her Husband Led Her Out,  Placed Her In The Carriage, And Saw It Drive Away. Then He And The Barrister Got Into A Cab And Went To The Temple.   "We'll Take The Books Home With Us,  Carr," He Said,  Feverishly. "You Often Have Fellows Dropping In To Your Chambers At Night; At My House We Shall Be Secure From Interruption."   It Was Midnight When Lady Hartledon Returned Home. She Asked After Her Husband,  And Heard That He Was In The Breakfast-Room With Mr. Carr.   She Went Towards It With A Stealthy Step,  And Opened The Door Very Softly. Had Lord Hartledon Not Been Talking,  They Might,  However,  Have Heard Her. The Table Was Strewed With Thick Musty Folios; But They Appeared To Be Done With,  And Mr. Carr Was Leaning Back In His Chair With Folded Arms.   "I Have Had Nothing But Worry All My Life," Val Was Saying; "But Compared With This,  Whatever Has Gone Before Was As Nothing. When I Think Of Maude,  I Feel As If I Should Go Mad."   "You Must Quietly Separate From Her," Said Mr. Carr.   A Slight Movement. Mr. Carr Stopped,  And Lord Hartledon Looked Round. Lady Hartledon Was Close Behind Him.   "Percival,  What Is The Matter?" She Asked,  Turning Her Back On Mr. Carr, As If Ignoring His Presence. "What Bad News Did That Parson Bring You?--A Friend,  I Presume,  Of Dr. Ashton's."   They Had Both Risen. Lord Hartledon Glanced At Mr. Carr,  The Perspiration Breaking Out On His Brow. "It--It Was Not A Parson," He Said,  In His Innate Adherence To Truth.   "I Ask _You_,  Lord Hartledon," She Resumed,  Having Noted The Silent Appeal To Mr. Carr. "It Requires No Third Person To Step Between Man And Wife. Will You Come Upstairs With Me?"   Words And Manner Were Too Pointed,  And Mr. Carr Hastily Stacked The Books,  And Carried Them To A Side-Table.   "Allow These To Remain Here Until To-Morrow," He Said To Lord Hartledon; "I'll Send My Clerk For Them. I'm Off Now; It's Later Than I Thought. Good-Night,  Lady Hartledon."   He Went Out Unmolested; Lady Hartledon Did Not Answer Him; Val Nodded His Good-Night.   "Are You Not Ashamed To Face Me,  Lord Hartledon?" She Then Demanded. "I Overheard What You Were Saying."   "Overheard What We Were Saying?" He Repeated,  Gazing At Her With A Scared Look.   "I Heard That Insidious Man Give You Strange Advice--'_You Must Quietly Separate From Her_,' He Said; Meaning From Me. And You Listened Patiently,  And Did Not Knock Him Down!"   "Maude! Maude! Was That All You Heard?"   "_All!_ I Should Think It Was Enough."   "Yes,  But--" He Broke Off,  So Agitated As Scarcely To Know What He Was Saying. Rallying Himself Somewhat,  He Laid His Hand Upon The White Cloak Covering Her Shoulders.   "Do Not Judge Him Harshly,  Maude. Indeed He Is A True Friend To You And To Me. And I Have Need Of One Just Now."   "A True Friend!--To Advise That! I Never Heard Of Anything So Monstrous. You Must Be Out Of Your Mind."   "No,  I Am Not,  Maude. Should--Disgrace"--He Seemed To Hesitate For A Word--"Fall Upon Me,  It Must Touch You As Connected With Me. I _Know_, Maude,  That He Was Thinking Of Your Best And Truest Interests."   "But To Talk Of Separating Husband And Wife!"   "Yes--Well--I Suppose He Spoke Strongly In The Heat Of The Moment."   There Was A Pause. Lord Hartledon Had His Hand Still On His Wife's Shoulder,  But His Eyes Were Bent On The Table Near Which They Stood. She Was Waiting For Him To Speak.   "Won't You Tell Me What Has Happened?"   "I Can't Tell You,  Maude,  To-Night," He Answered,  Great Drops Coming Out Again On His Brow At The Question,  And Knowing All The Time That He Should Never Tell Her. "I--I Must Learn More First."   "You Spoke Of Disgrace," She Observed Gently,  Swaying Her Fan Before Her By Its Silken Cord. "An Ugly Word."   "It Is. Heaven Help Me!"   "Val,  I Do Think You Are The Greatest Simpleton Under The Skies!" She Exclaimed Out Of All Patience,  And Flinging His Hand Off. "It's Time You Got Rid Of This Foolish Sensitiveness. I Know What Is The Matter Quite Well; And It's Not So Very Much Of A Disgrace After All! Those Ashtons Are Going To Make You Pay Publicly For Your Folly. Let Them Do It."   He Had Opened His Lips To Undeceive Her,  But Stopped In Time. As A Drowning Man Catches At A Straw,  So Did He Catch At This Suggestion In His Hopeless Despair; And He Suffered Her To Remain In It. Anything To Stave Off The Real,  Dreadful Truth.   "Maude," He Rejoined,  "It Is For Your Sake. If I Am Sensitive As To Any--Any Disgrace Being Brought Home To Me,  I Declare That I Think Of You More Than Of Myself."   "Then Don't Think Of It. It Will Be Fun For Me,  Rather Than Anything Else. I Did Not Imagine The Ashtons Would Have Done It,  Though. I Wonder What Damages They'll Go In For. Oh,  Val,  I Should Like To See You In The Witness-Box!"   He Did Not Answer.   "And It Was Not A Parson?" She Continued. "I'm Sure He Looked As Much Like One As Old Ashton Himself. A Professional Man,  Then,  I Suppose, Val?"   "Yes,  A Professional Man." But Even That Little Answer Was Given With Some Hesitation,  As Though It Had Evasion In It.   Maude Broke Into A Laugh. "Your Friend,  Pleader Carr--Or Whatever He Calls Himself--Must Be As Thin-Skinned As You Are,  Val,  To Fancy That A Rubbishing Action Of That Sort,  Brought Against A Husband,  Can Reflect Disgrace On The Wife! Separate,  Indeed! Has He Lived In A Wood All His Life? Well,  I Am Going Upstairs."   "A Moment Yet,  Maude! You Will Take A Caution From Me,  Won't You? Don't Speak Of This; Don't Allude To It,  Even To Me. It May Be Arranged Yet, You Know."   "So It May," Acquiesced Maude. "Let Your Friend Carr See The Doctor,  And Offer To Pay The Damages Down."   He Might Have Resented This Speech For Dr. Ashton's Sake,  In A Happier Moment,  But Resentment Had Been Beaten Out Of Him Now. And Lady Hartledon Decided That Her Husband Was A Simpleton,  For Instead Of Going To Sleep Like A Reasonable Man,  He Tossed And Turned By Her Side Until Daybreak. Chapter 19 (Secret Care) From That Hour Lord Hartledon Was A Changed Man. He Went About As One Who Has Some Awful Fear Upon Him,  Starting At Shadows. That His Manner Was Inexplicable,  Even Allowing That He Had Some Great Crime On His Conscience,  A Looker-On Had Not Failed To Observe. He Was Very Tender With His Wife; Far More So Than He Had Been At All; Anxious,  As It Seemed,  To Indulge Her Every Fancy,  Gratify Her Every Whim. But When It Came To Going Into Society With Her,  Then He Hesitated; He Would And He Wouldn't,  Reminding Maude Of His Old Vacillation,  Which Indeed Had Seemed To Have Been Laid Aside For Ever. It Was As Though He Appeared Not To Know What To Do; What He Ought To Do; His Own Wish Or Inclination Having No Part In It.   "Why _Won't_ You Go With Me?" She Said To Him Angrily One Day That He Had Retracted His Assent At The Last Moment. "Is It That You Care So Much For Anne Ashton,  That You Don't Care To Be Seen With Me?"   "Oh,  Maude! If You Knew How Little Anne Ashton Is In My Thoughts Now! When By Chance I Do Think Of Her,  It Is To Be Thankful I Did Not Marry Her," He Added,  In A Tone Of Self-Communing.   Maude Laughed A Light Laugh. "This Movement Of Theirs Is Putting You Out Of Conceit Of Your Old Love,  Val."   "What Movement?" He Rejoined; And He Would Not Have Asked The Question Had His Thoughts Not Gone Wool-Gathering.   "You Are Dreaming,  Val. The Action."   "Ah,  Yes,  To Be Sure."   "Have You Heard Yet What Damages They Claim?"   He Shook His Head. "You Promised Not To Speak Of This,  Maude; Even To Me."   "Who Is To Help Speaking Of It,  When You Allow It To Take Your Ease Away? I Never In My Life Saw Any One So Changed As You Are. I Wish The Thing Were Over And Done With,  Though It Left You A Few Thousand Pounds The Poorer. _Will_ You Accompany Me To This Dinner To-Day? I Am Sick Of Appearing Alone And Making Excuses For You."   "I Wish I Knew What To Do For The Best--What My Course Ought To Be!" Thought Hartledon Within His Conscience. "I Can't Bear To Be Seen With Her In Public. When I Face People With Her On My Arm,  It Seems As If They Must Know What Sort Of Man She,  In Her Unconsciousness,  Is Leaning Upon."   "I'll Go With You To-Day,  Maude,  As You Press It. I Was To Have Seen Mr. Carr,  But Can Send Down To Him."   "Then Don't Be Five Minutes Dressing: It Is Time We Went."   She Heard Him Despatch A Footman To The Temple With A Message That He Should Not Be At Mr. Carr's Chambers That Evening; And She Lay Back In Her Chair,  Waiting For Him In Her Dinner-Dress Of Black And White. They Were In Mourning Still For His Brother. Lord Hartledon Had Not Left It Off,  And Maude Had Loved Him Too Well To Grumble At The Delay.   She Had Grown Tolerant In Regard To The Intimacy With Mr. Carr. That Her Husband Should Escape As Soon And As Favourably As Possible Out Of The Dilemma In Which He Was Plunged,  She Naturally Wished; That He Should Require Legal Advice And Assistance To Accomplish It,  Was Only Reasonable,  And Therefore She Tolerated The Visits Of Mr. Carr. She Had Even Gone So Far One Evening As To Send Tea In To Them When He And Val Were Closeted Together.   But Still Lady Hartledon Was Not Quite Prepared To Find Mr. Carr At Their House When They Returned. She And Lord Hartledon Went Forth To The Dinner; The Latter Behaving As Though His Wits Were In Some Far-Off Hemisphere Rather Than In This One,  So Absent-Minded Was He. From The Dinner They Proceeded To Another Place Or Two; And On Getting Home, Towards One In The Morning,  There Was The Barrister.   "Mr. Carr Is Waiting To See You,  My Lord," Said Hedges,  Meeting Them In The Passage. "He Is In The Dining-Room."   "Mr. Carr! Now!"   The Hall-Lamp Shone Full On His Face As He Spoke. He Had Been Momentarily Forgetting Care; Was Speaking Gaily To His Wife As They Entered. She Saw The Change That Came Over It; The Look Of Fear,  Of Apprehension,  That Replaced Its Smile. He Went Into The Dining-Room,  And She Followed Him.   "Why,  Carr!" He Exclaimed. "Is It You?"   Mr. Carr,  Bowing To Lady Hartledon,  Made A Joke Of The Matter. "Having Waited So Long,  I Thought I'd Wait It Out,  Hartledon. As Good Be Hung For A Sheep As A Lamb,  You Know,  And I Have No Wife Sitting Up For Me At Home."   "You Had My Message?"   "Yes,  And That Brought Me Here. I Wanted Just To Say A Word To You,  As I Am Going Out Of Town To-Morrow."   "What Will You Take?"   "Nothing At All. Hedges Has Been Making Me Munificent Offers,  But I Declined Them. I Never Take Anything After Dinner,  Except A Cup Of Tea Or So,  As You May Remember,  Keeping A Clear Head For Work In The Morning."   There Was A Slight Pause. Lady Hartledon Saw Of Course That She Was _De Trop_ In The Conference; That Mr. Carr Would Not Speak His "Word" Whilst She Was Present. She Had Never Understood Why The Matter Should Be Kept Apart From Her; And In Her Heart Resented It.   "You Won't Say To My Husband Before Me What You Have Come To Say,  Mr. Carr."   It Was Strictly The Truth,  But The Abrupt Manner Of Bringing It Home To Him Momentarily Took Away Mr. Carr's Power Of Repartee,  Although He Was Apt Enough In General,  As Became A Special Pleader.   "You Have Had News From The Ashtons; That Is,  Of Their Cause,  And You Have Come To Tell It. I Don't See Why You And Lord Hartledon Should So Cautiously Keep Everything From Me."   There Was An Eager Look On Lord Hartledon's Face As He Stood Behind His Wife. It Was Directed To Mr. Carr,  And Said As Plainly As Look Could Say, "Don't Undeceive Her; Keep Up The Delusion." But Thomas Carr Was Not So Apt At Keeping Up Delusions At The Expense Of Truth,  And He Only Smiled In Reply.   "What Damages Are They Suing For?"   "Oh," Said Mr. Carr,  With A Laugh,  And Ready Enough Now: "Ten Thousand Pounds Will Cover It."   "Ten Thousand Pounds!" She Echoed. "Of Course They Won't Get Half Of It. In This Sort Of Action--Breach Of Promise--Parties Never Get So Much As They Ask For,  Do They?"   "Not Often."   She Laughed A Little As She Quitted The Room. It Was Difficult To Remain Longer,  And It Never Occurred To Her To Suspect That Any Graver Matter Than This Action Was In Question.   "Now,  Carr?" Began Lord Hartledon,  Seating Himself Near The Table As He Closed The Door After Her,  And Speaking In Low Tones.   "I Received This Letter By The Afternoon Mail," Said Mr. Carr,  Taking One From The Safe Enclosure Of His Pocket-Book. "It Is Satisfactory,  So Far As It Goes."   "I Call It Very Satisfactory," Returned Hartledon,  Glancing Through It. "I Thought He'd Listen To Reason. What Is Done Cannot Be Undone,  And Exposure Will Answer No End. I Wrote Him An Urgent Letter The Other Day, Begging Him To Be Silent For Maude's Sake. Were I To Expiate The Past With My Life,  It Could Not Undo It. If He Brought Me To The Bar Of My Country To Plead Guilty Or Not Guilty,  The Past Would Remain The Same."   "And I Put The Matter To Him In My Letter Somewhat In The Same Light, Though In A More Business-Like Point Of View," Returned Mr. Carr. "There Was No Entreaty In Mine. I Left Compassion,  Whether For You Or Others, Out Of The Argument; And Said To Him,  What Will You Gain By Exposure,  And How Will You Reconcile It To Your Conscience To Inflict On Innocent Persons The Torture Exposure Must Bring?"   "I Shall Breathe Freely Now," Said Hartledon,  With A Sigh Of Relief." If That Man Gives His Word Not To Stir In The Matter,  Not To Take Proceedings Against Me; In Short,  To Bury What He Knows In Secrecy And Silence,  As He Has Hitherto Done; It Will Be All I Can Hope For."   Mr. Carr Lifted His Eyebrows.   "I Perceive What You Think: That The Fact Remains. Carr,  I Know It As Well As You; I Know That _Nothing_ Can Alter It. Don't You See That Remorse Is Ever Present With Me? Driving Me Mad? Killing Me By Inches With Its Pain?"   "Do You Know What I Should Be Tempted To Do,  Were The Case Mine?"   "Well?"   "Tell My Wife."   "Carr!"   "I Almost Think I Should; I Am Not Quite Sure. Should The Truth Ever Come To Her--"   "But I Trust It Never Will Come To Her," Interrupted Hartledon,  His Face Growing Hot.   "It's A Delicate Point To Argue," Acknowledged Mr. Carr,  "And I Cannot Hope To Bring You Into My Way Of Looking At It. Had You Married Miss Ashton,  It Appears To Me That You Would Have No Resource But To Tell Her: The Very Fact Of Being Bound To You Would Kill A Religious, High-Principled Woman."   "Not If She Remained In Ignorance."   "There It Is. Ought She To Remain In Ignorance?"   Lord Hartledon Leaned His Head On His Hand As One Faint And Weary. "Carr,  It Is Of No Use To Go Over All This Ground Again. If I Disclose The Whole To Maude,  How Would It Make It Better For Her? Would It Not Render It A Hundred Times Worse? She Could Not Inform Against Me; It Would Be Contrary To Human Nature To Suppose It; And All The Result Would Be,  That She Must Go Through Life With The Awful Secret Upon Her, Rendering Her Days A Hell Upon Earth,  As It Is Rendering Mine. It's True She Might Separate From Me; I Dare Say She Would; But What Satisfaction Would That Bring Her? No; The Kinder Course Is To Allow Her To Remain In Ignorance. Good Heavens! Tell My Wife! I Should Never Dare Do It!"   Mr. Carr Made No Reply,  And A Pause Ensued. In Truth,  The Matter Was Encompassed With Difficulties On All Sides; And The Barrister Could But Acknowledge That Val's Argument Had Some Sort Of Reason In It. Having Bound Her To Himself By Marriage,  It Might Be Right That He Should Study Her Happiness Above All Things.   "It Has Put New Life Into Me," Val Resumed,  Pointing To The Letter. "Now That He Has Promised To Keep The Secret,  There's Little To Fear; And I Know That He Will Keep His Word. I Must Bear The Burden As I Best Can, And Keep A Smiling Face To The World."   "Did You Read The Postscript?" Asked Mr. Carr; A Feeling Coming Over Him That Val Had Not Read It.   "The Postscript?"   "There's A Line Or Two Over The Leaf."   Lord Hartledon Glanced At It,  And Found It Ran Thus:     "You Must Be Aware That Another Person Knows Of This Besides Myself. He   Who Was A Witness At The Time,  And From Whom _I_ Heard The Particulars.   Of Course For Him I Cannot Answer,  And I Think He Is In England. I   Allude To G.G. Lord H. Will Know."   "Lord H." Apparently Did Know. He Gazed Down At The Words With A Knitted Brow,  In Which Some Surprise Was Mingled.   "I Declare That I Understood Him That Night To Say The Fellow Had Died. Did Not You?"   "I Did," Acquiesced Mr. Carr. "I Certainly Assumed It As A Fact,  Until This Letter Came To-Day. Gordon Was The Name,  I Think?"   "George Gordon."   "Since Reading The Letter I Have Been Endeavouring To Recollect Exactly What He Did Say; And The Impression On My Mind Is,  That He Spoke Of Gordon As Being _Probably_ Dead; Not That He Knew It For A Certainty. How I Could Overlook The Point So As Not To Have Inquired Into It More Fully,  I Cannot Imagine. But,  You See,  We Were Not Discussing Details That Night,  Or Questioning Facts: We Were Trying To Disarm Him--Get Him Not To Proceed Against You; And For Myself,  I Confess I Was So Utterly Stunned That Half My Wits Had Left Me."   "What Is To Be Done?"   "We Must Endeavour To Ascertain Where Gordon Is," Replied Mr. Carr,  As He Re-Enclosed The Letter In His Pocket-Book. "I'll Write And Inquire What _His_ Grounds Are For Thinking He Is In England; And Then Trace Him Out--If He Is To Be Traced. You Give Me Carte-Blanche To Act?"   "You Know I Do,  Carr."   "All Right."   "And When You Have Traced Him--What Then?"   "That's An After-Question,  And I Must Be Guided By Circumstances. And Now I'll Wish You Good-Night," Continued The Barrister,  Rising. "It's A Shame To Have Kept You Up; But The Letter Contains Some Consolation,  And I Knew I Could Not Bring It You To-Morrow."   The Drawing-Room Was Lighted When Lord Hartledon Went Upstairs; And His Wife Sat There With A Book,  As If She Meant To Remain Up All Night. She Put It Down As He Entered.   "Are You Here Still,  Maude! I Thought You Were Tired When You Came Home."   "I Felt Tired Because I Met No One I Cared For," She Answered,  In Rather Fractious Tones. "Every One We Know Is Leaving Town,  Or Has Left."   "Yes,  That's True."   "I Shall Leave Too. I Don't Mind If We Go To-Morrow."   "To-Morrow!" He Echoed. "Why,  We Have The House For Three Weeks Longer."   "And If We Have? We Are Not Obliged To Remain In It."   Lord Hartledon Put Back The Curtain,  And Stood Leaning Out At The Open Window,  Seeking A Breath Of Air That Hot Summer's Night,  Though Indeed There Was None To Be Found; And If There Had Been,  It Could Not Have Cooled The Brow's Inward Fever. The Park Lay Before Him,  Dark And Misty; The Lights Of The Few Vehicles Passing Gleamed Now And Again; The Hum Of Life Was Dying Out In The Streets,  Men's Free Steps,  Careless Voices. He Looked Down,  And Wondered Whether Any One Of Those Men Knew What Care Meant As _He_ Knew It; Whether The Awful Skeleton,  That Never Quitted Him Night Or Day,  Could Hold Such Place With Another. He Was Earl Of Hartledon; Wealthy,  Young,  Handsome; He Had No Bad Habits To Hamper Him; And Yet He Would Willingly Have Changed Lots At Hazard With Any One Of Those Passers-By,  Could His Breast,  By So Doing,  Have Been Eased Of Its Burden.   "What Are You Looking At,  Val?"   His Wife Had Come Up And Stolen Her Arm Within His,  As She Asked The Question,  Looking Out Too.   "Not At Anything In Particular," He Replied,  Making A Prisoner Of Her Hand. "The Night's Hot,  Maude."   "Oh,  I Am Getting Tired Of London!" She Exclaimed. "It Is Always Hot Now; And I Believe I Ought To Be Away From It."   "Yes."   "That Letter I Had This Morning Was From Ireland,  From Mamma. I Told Her, When I Wrote Last,  How I Felt; And You Never Read Such A Lecture As She Gave Me In Return. She Asked Me Whether I Was Mad,  That I Should Be Going Galvanizing About When I Ought Rather To Be Resting Three Parts Of My Time."   "Galvanizing?" Said Lord Hartledon.   "So She Wrote: She Never Waits To Choose Her Words--You Know Mamma! I Suppose She Meant To Imply That I Was Always On The Move."   "Do You Feel Ill,  Maude?"   "Not Exactly Ill; But--I Think I Ought To Be Careful. Percival," She Breathed,  "Mamma Asked Me Whether I Was Trying To Destroy The Hope Of An Heir To Hartledon."   An Ice-Bolt Shot Through Him At The Reminder. Better An Heir Should Never Be Born,  If It Must Call Him Father!   "I Fainted To-Day,  Val," She Continued To Whisper.   He Passed His Arm Round His Wife's Waist,  And Drew Her Closer To Him. Not Upon Her Ought He To Visit His Sin: She Might Have Enough To Bear, Without Coldness From Him; Rather Should He Be Doubly Tender.   "You Did Not Tell Me About It,  Love. Why Have You Gone Out This Evening?" He Asked Reproachfully.   "It Has Not Harmed Me. Indeed I Will Take Care,  For Your Sake. I Should Never Forgive Myself."   "I Have Thought Since We Married,  Maude,  That You Did Not Much Care For Me."   Maude Made No Immediate Answer. She Was Looking Out Straight Before Her, Her Head On His Shoulder,  And Lord Hartledon Saw That Tears Were Glistening In Her Eyes.   "Yes,  I Do," She Said At Length; And As She Spoke She Felt Very Conscious That She _Was_ Caring For Him. His Gentle Kindness,  His Many Attractions Were Beginning To Tell Upon Her Heart; And A Vision Of The Possible Future,  When She Should Love Him,  Crossed Her Then And There As She Stood. Lord Hartledon Bent His Face,  And Let It Rest On Hers.   "We Shall Be Happy Yet,  Val; And I Will Be As Good As Gold. To Begin With,  We Will Leave London At Once. I Ought Not To Remain,  And I Know You Have Not Liked It All Along. It Would Have Been Better To Wait Until Next Year,  When We Could Have Had Our Own House; Only I Was Impatient. I Felt Proud Of Being Married; Of Being Your Wife--I Did Indeed,  Val--And I Was In A Fever To Be Amidst My World Of Friends. And There's A Real Confession!" She Concluded,  Laughing.   "Any More?" He Asked,  Laughing With Her.   "I Don't Remember Any More Just Now. Which Day Shall We Go? You Shall Manage Things For Me Now: I Won't Be Wilful Again. Shall The Servants Go On First To Hartledon,  Or With Us?"   "To Hartledon!" Exclaimed Val. "Is It To Hartledon You Think Of Going?"   "Of Course It Is," She Said,  Standing Up And Looking At Him In Surprise. "Where Else Should I Go?"   "I Thought You Wished To Go To Germany!"   "And So I Did; But That Would Not Do Now."   "Then Let Us Go To The Seaside," He Rather Eagerly Said. "Somewhere In England."   "No,  I Would Rather Go To Hartledon. In One's Own Home Rest And Comfort Can Be Insured; And I Believe I Require Them. Don't You Wish To Go There?" She Added,  Watching His Perplexed Face.   "No,  I Don't. The Truth Is,  I Cannot Go To Hartledon."   "Is It Because You Do Not Care To Face The Ashtons? I See! You Would Like To Have This Business Settled First."   Lord Hartledon Hardly Heard The Words,  As He Stood Leaning Against The Open Casement,  Gazing Into The Dark And Misty Past. No Man Ever Shrank From A Prison As He Shrank From Hartledon.   "I Cannot Leave London At All Just Yet. Thomas Carr Is Remaining Here For Me,  When He Ought To Be On Circuit,  And I Must Stay With Him. I Wish You Would Go Anywhere Else,  Rather Than To Hartledon."   The Tone Was So Painfully Earnest,  That A Momentary Suspicion Crossed Her Of His Having Some Other Motive. It Passed Away Almost As It Arose,  And She Accused Him Of Being Unreasonable.   Unreasonable It Did Appear To Be. "If You Have Any Real Reason To Urge Against Hartledon,  Tell It Me," She Said. But He Mentioned None--Save That It Was His "Wish" Not To Go.   And Lady Hartledon,  Rather Piqued,  Gave The Necessary Orders On The Following Day For The Removal. No Further Confidential Converse,  Or Approach To It,  Took Place Between Her And Her Husband; But Up To The Last Moment She Thought He Would Relent And Accompany Her. Nothing Of The Sort. He Was Anxious For Her Every Comfort On The Journey,  And Saw Her Off Himself: Nothing More.   "I Never Thought You Would Allow Me To Go Alone," She Resentfully Whispered,  As He Held Her Hand After She Was Seated In The Train.   He Shook His Head. "It Is Your Fault,  Maude. I Told You I Could Not Go To Hartledon."   And So She Went Down In Rather An Angry Frame Of Mind. Many A Time And Oft Had She Pictured To Herself The Triumph Of Their First Visit To Calne,  The Place Where She Had Taken So Much Pains To Win Him: But The Arrival Was Certainly Shorn Of Its Glory. Chapter 20 (Asking The Rector) Perhaps Lady Hartledon Had Never In All Her Life Been So Much Astonished As When She Reached Hartledon,  For The First Person She Saw There Was Her Mother: Her Mother,  Whom She Had Believed To Be In Some Remote District Of Ireland. For The Moment She Almost Wondered Whether It Was Really Herself Or Her Ghost. The Countess-Dowager Came Flying Down The Steps--If That Term May Be Applied To One Of Her Age And Size--With Rather Demonstrative Affection; Which,  However,  Was Not Cordially Received.   "What's The Matter,  Maude? How You Stare!"   "_Is_ It You,  Mamma? How _Can_ It Be You?"   "How Can It Be Me?" Returned The Dowager,  Giving Maude's Bonnet A Few Kisses. "It _Is_ Me,  And That's Enough. My Goodness,  Maude,  How Thin You Look! I See What It Is! You've Been Killing Yourself In That Racketing London. It's Well I've Come To Take Care Of You."   Maude Went In,  Feeling That She Could Have Taken Care Of Herself,  And Listening To The Off-Hand Explanations Of The Countess-Dowager. "Kirton Offended Me," She Said. "He And His Wife Are Like Two Bears; And So I Packed Up My Things And Came Away At Once,  And Got Here Straight From Liverpool. And Now You Know."   "And Is Lady Kirton Quite Well Again?" Asked Maude,  Helplessly,  Knowing She Could Not Turn Her Mother Out.   "She'd Be Well Enough But For Temper. She _Was_ Ill,  Though,  When They Telegraphed For Me; Her Life For Three Days And Nights Hanging On A Shred. I Told That Fool Of A Kirton Before He Married Her That She Had No Constitution. I Suppose You And Hart Were Finely Disappointed To Find I Was Not In London When You Got There."   "Agreeably Disappointed,  I Think," Said Maude,  Languidly.   "Indeed! It's Civil Of You To Say So."   "On Account Of The Smallness Of The House," Added Maude,  Endeavouring To Be Polite. "We Hardly Knew How To Manage In It Ourselves."   "You Wrote Me Word To Take It. As To Me,  I Can Accommodate Myself To Any Space. Where There's Plenty Of Room,  I Take Plenty; Where There's Not,  I Can Put Up With A Closet. I Have Made Mirrable Give Me My Old Rooms Here: You Of Course Take Hart's Now."   "I Am Very Tired," Said Maude. "I Think I Will Have Some Tea,  And Go To Bed."   "Tea!" Shrieked The Dowager. "I Have Not Yet Had Dinner. And It's Waiting; That's More."   "You Can Dine Without Me,  Mamma," She Said,  Walking Upstairs To The New Rooms. The Dowager Stared,  And Followed Her. There Was An Indescribable Something In Maude's Manner That She Did Not Like; It Spoke Of Incipient Rebellion,  Of An Influence That Had Been,  But Was Now Thrown Off. If She Lost Caste Once,  With Maude,  She Knew That She Lost It For Ever.   "You Could Surely Take A Little Dinner,  Maude. You Must Keep Up Your Strength,  You Know."   "Not Any Dinner,  Thank You. I Shall Be All Right To-Morrow,  When I've Slept Off My Fatigue."   "Well,  I Know I Should Like Mine," Grumbled The Countess-Dowager,  Feeling Her Position In The House Already Altered From What It Had Been During Her Former Sojourn,  When She Assumed Full Authority,  And Ordered Things As She Pleased,  Completely Ignoring The New Lord.   "You Can Have It," Said Maude.   "They Won't Serve It Until Hartledon Arrives," Was The Aggrieved Answer. "I Suppose He's Walking Up From The Station. He Always Had A Queer Habit Of Doing That."   Maude Lifted Her Eyes In Slight Surprise. Her Solitary Arrival Was A Matter Of Fact So Established To Herself,  That It Sounded Strange For Any One Else To Be In Ignorance Of It.   "Lord Hartledon Has Not Come Down. He Is Remaining In London."   The Old Dowager Peered At Maude Through Her Little Eyes. "What's That For?"   "Business,  I Believe."   "Don't Tell Me An Untruth,  Maude. You Have Quarrelled."   "We Have Not Quarrelled. We Are Perfectly Good Friends."   "And Do You Mean To Tell Me That He Sent You Down Alone?"   "He Sent The Servants With Me."   "Don't Be Insolent,  Maude. You Know What I Mean."   "Why,  Mamma,  I Do Not Wish To Be Insolent. I Can't Tell You More,  Or Tell It Differently. Lord Hartledon Did Not Come Down With Me,  And The Servants Did."   She Spoke Sharply. In Her Tired Condition The Petty Conversation Was Wearying Her; And Underlying Everything Else In Her Heart,  Was The Mortifying Consciousness That He Had _Not_ Come Down With Her,  Chafing Her Temper Almost Beyond Repression. Considering That Maude Did Not Profess To Love Her Husband Very Much,  It Was Astonishing How Keenly She Felt This.   "Are You And Hartledon Upon Good Terms?" Asked The Countess-Dowager After A Pause,  During Which She Had Never Taken Her Eyes From Her Daughter's Face.   "It Would Be Early Days To Be On Any Other."   "Oh," Said The Dowager. "And You Did Not Write Me Word From Paris That You Found You Had Made A Mistake,  That You Could Not Bear Your Husband! Eh,  Maude?"   A Tinge Came Into Maude's Cheeks. "And You,  Mamma,  Told Me That I Was To Rule My Husband With An Iron Hand,  Never Allowing Him To Have A Will Of His Own,  Never Consulting Him! Both You And I Were Wrong," She Continued Quietly. "I Wrote That Letter In A Moment Of Irritation; And You Were Assuming What Has Not Proved To Be A Fact. I Like My Husband Now Quite Well Enough To Keep Friends With Him; His Kindness To Me Is Excessive; But I Find,  With All My Wish To Rule Him,  If I Had The Wish,  I Could Not Do It. He Has A Will Of His Own,  And He Exerts It In Spite Of Me; And I Am Quite Sure He Will Continue To Exert It,  Whenever He Fancies He Is In The Right. You Never Saw Any One So Changed From What He Used To Be."   "How Do You Mean?"   "I Mean In Asserting His Own Will. But He Is Changed In Other Ways. It Seems To Me That He Has Never Been Quite The Same Man Since That Night In The Chapel. He Has Been More Thoughtful; And All The Old Vacillation Is Gone."   The Countess-Dowager Could Not Understand At All; Neither Did She Believe; And She Only Stared At Maude.   "His _Not_ Coming Down With Me Is A Proof That He Exercises His Own Will Now. I Wished Him To Come Very Much,  And He Knew It; But You See He Has Not Done So."   "And What Do You Say Is Keeping Him?" Repeated The Countess-Dowager.   "Business--"   "Ah," Interrupted The Dowager,  Before Maude Could Finish,  "That's The General Excuse. Always Suspect It,  My Dear."   "Suspect What?" Asked Maude.   "When A Man Says That,  And Gets His Wife Out Of The Way With It,  Rely Upon It He Is Pursuing Some Nice Little Interests Of His Own."   Lady Hartledon Understood The Implication; She Felt Nettled,  And A Flush Rose To Her Face. In Her Husband's Loyalty (Always Excepting His Feeling Towards Miss Ashton) She Rested Fully Assured.   "You Did Not Allow Me To Finish," Was The Cold Rejoinder. "Business _Is_ Keeping Him In Town,  For One Thing; For Another,  I Think He Cannot Get Over His Dislike To Face The Ashtons."   "Rubbish!" Cried The Wrathful Dowager. "He Does Not Tell You What The Business Is,  Does He?" She Cynically Added.   "I Happen To Know," Answered Maude. "The Ashtons Are Bringing An Action Against Him For Breach Of Promise; And He And Mr. Carr The Barrister Are Trying To Arrange It Without Its Coming To A Trial."   The Old Lady Opened Her Eyes And Her Mouth.   "It Is True. They Lay The Damages At Ten Thousand Pounds!"   With A Shriek The Countess-Dowager Began To Dance. Ten Thousand Pounds! Ten Thousand Pounds Would Keep Her For Ever,  Invested At Good Interest. She Called The Parson Some Unworthy Names.   "I Cannot Give You Any Of The Details," Said Maude,  In Answer To The Questions Pressed Upon Her. "Percival Will Never Speak Of It,  Or Allow Me To Do So. I Learnt It--I Can Hardly Tell You How I Learnt It--By Implication,  I Think; For It Was Never Expressly Told Me. We Had A Mysterious Visit One Night From Some Old Parson--Parson Or Lawyer; And Percival And Mr. Carr,  Who Happened To Be At Our House,  Were Closeted With Him For An Hour Or Two. I Saw They Were Agitated,  And Guessed What It Was; Dr. Ashton Was Bringing An Action. They Could Not Deny It."   "The Vile Old Hypocrite!" Cried The Incensed Dowager. "Ten Thousand Pounds! Are You Sure It Is As Much As That,  Maude?"   "Quite. Mr. Carr Told Me The Amount."   "I Wonder You Encourage That Man To Your House."   "It Was One Of The Things I Stood Out Against--Fruitlessly," Was The Quiet Answer. "But I Believe He Means Well To Me; And I Am Sure He Is Doing What He Can To Serve My Husband. They Are Often Together About This Business."   "_Of Course_ Hartledon Resists The Claim?"   "I Don't Know. I Think They Are Trying To Compromise It,  So That It Shall Not Come Into Court."   "What Does Hartledon Think Of It?"   "It Is Worrying His Life Out. No,  Mamma,  It Is Not Too Strong An Expression. He Says Nothing; But I Can See That It Is Half Killing Him. I Don't Believe He Has Slept Properly Since The News Was Brought To Him."   "What A Simpleton He Must Be! And That Man Will Stand Up In The Pulpit To-Morrow And Preach Of Charity!" Continued The Dowager,  Turning Her Animadversions Upon Dr. Ashton. "You Are A Hypocrite Too,  Maude,  For Trying To Deceive Me. You And Hartledon Are _Not_ On Good Terms; Don't Tell Me! He Would Never Have Let You Come Down Alone."   Lady Hartledon Would Not Reply. She Felt Vexed With Her Mother,  Vexed With Her Husband,  Vexed On All Sides; And She Took Refuge In Her Fatigue And Was Silent.   The Dowager Went To Church On The Following Day. Maude Would Not Go. The Hot Anger Flushed Into Her Face At The Thought Of Showing Herself There For The First Time,  Unaccompanied By Her Husband: To Maude's Mind It Seemed That She Must Look To Others So Very Much Like A Deserted Wife. She Comes Home Alone; He Stays In London! "Ah,  Why Did He Not Come Down Only For This One Sunday,  And Go Back Again--If He Must Have Gone?" She Thought.   A Month Or Two Ago Maude Had Not Cared Enough For Him To Reason Like This. The Countess-Dowager Ensconced Herself In A Corner Of The Hartledon State-Pew,  And From Her Blinking Eyes Looked Out Upon The Ashtons. Anne, With Her Once Bright Face Looking Rather Wan,  Her Modest Demeanour; Mrs. Ashton,  So Essentially A Gentlewoman; The Doctor,  Sensible,  Clever, Charitable,  Beyond All Doubt A Good Man--A Feeling Came Over The Mind Of The Sometimes Obtuse Woman That Of All The People Before Her They Looked The Least Likely To Enter On The Sort Of Lawsuit Spoken Of By Maude. But Never A Doubt Occurred To Her That They _Had_ Entered On It.   Lady Hartledon Remained At Home,  Her Prayer-Book In Her Hand. She Was Thinking She Could Steal Out To The Evening Service; It Might Not Be So Much Noticed Then,  Her Being Alone. Listlessly Enough She Sat,  Toying With Her Prayer-Book Rather Than Reading It. She Had Never Pretended To Be Religious,  Had Not Been Trained To Be So; And Reading A Prayer-Book, When Not In Church,  Was Quite Unusual To Her. But There Are Seasons In A Woman's Life,  Times When Peril Is Looked Forward To,  That Bring Thought Even To The Most Careless Nature. Maude Was Trying To Play At "Being Good," And Was Reading The Psalms For The Day In An Absent Fashion,  Her Thoughts Elsewhere; And The Morning Passed On. The Quiet Apathy Of Her Present State,  Compared With The Restless Fever Which Had Stirred Her During Her Last Sojourn At Hartledon,  Was Remarkable.   Suddenly There Burst In Upon Her The Countess-Dowager: That Estimable Lady's Bonnet Awry,  Her Face Scarlet,  Herself In A Commotion.   "I Didn't Suppose You'd Have Done It,  Maude! You Might Play Tricks Upon Other People,  I Think,  But Not Upon Your Own Mother."   The Interlude Was Rather Welcome To Maude,  Rousing Her From Her Apathy. Not For Some Few Moments,  However,  Could She Understand The Cause Of Complaint.   It Appeared That The Countess-Dowager,  With That Absence Of All Sense Of The Fitness Of Things Which So Eminently Characterized Her,  Had Joined The Ashtons After Service,  Inquiring With Quite Motherly Solicitude After Mrs. Ashton's Health,  Complimenting Anne Upon Her Charming Looks; Making Herself,  In Short,  As Agreeable As She Knew How,  And Completely Ignoring The Past In Regard To Her Son-In-Law. Gentlewomen In Mind And Manners, They Did Not Repulse Her,  Were Even Courteously Civil; And She Graciously Accompanied Them Across The Road To The Rectory-Gate,  And There Took A Cordial Leave,  Saying She Would Look In On The Morrow.   In Returning She Met Dr. Ashton. He Was Passing Her With Nothing But A Bow; But He Little Knew The Countess-Dowager. She Grasped His Hand; Said How Grieved She Was Not To Have Had An Opportunity Of Explaining Away Her Part In The Past; Hoped He Would Let Bygones Be Bygones; And Finally, Whilst The Clergyman Was Scheming How To Get Away From Her Without Absolute Rudeness,  She Astonished Him With A Communication Touching The Action-At-Law. There Ensued A Little Mutual Misapprehension,  Followed By A Few Emphatic Words Of Denial From Dr. Ashton; And The Countess-Dowager Walked Away With A Scarlet Face,  And An Explosion Of Anger Against Her Daughter.   Lady Hartledon Was Not Yet Callous To The Proprieties Of Life; And The Intrusion On The Ashtons,  Which Her Mother Confessed To,  Half Frightened, Half Shamed Her. But The Dowager's Wrath At Having Been Misled Bore Down Everything. Dr. Ashton Had Entered No Action Whatever Against Lord Hartledon; Had Never Thought Of Doing It.   "And You,  You Wicked,  Ungrateful Girl,  To Come Home To Me With Such An Invention,  And Cause Me To Start Off On A Fool's Errand! Do You Suppose I Should Have Gone And Humbled Myself To Those People,  But For Hoping To Bring The Parson To A Sense Of What He Was Doing In Going-In For Those Enormous Damages?"   "I Have Not Come Home To You With Any Invention,  Mamma. Dr. Ashton Has Entered The Action."   "He Has Not," Raved The Dowager. "It Is An Infamous Hoax You Have Played Off Upon Me. You Couldn't Find Any Excuse For Your Husband's Staying In London,  And So Invented This. What With You,  And What With Kirton's Ingratitude,  I Shall Be Driven Out Of House And Home!"   "I Won't Say Another Word Until You Are Calm And Can Talk Common Sense," Said Maude,  Leaning Back In Her Chair,  And Putting Down Her Prayer-Book.   "Common Sense! What Am I Talking But Common Sense? When A Child Begins To Mislead Her Own Mother,  The World Ought To Come To An End."   Maude Took No Notice.   There Happened To Be Some Water Standing On A Table,  And The Dowager Poured Out A Tumblerful And Drank It,  Though Not Accustomed To The Beverage. Untying Her Bonnet-Strings She Sat Down,  A Little Calmer.   "Perhaps You'll Explain This At Your Convenience,  Maude."   "There Is Nothing To Explain," Was The Answer. "What I Told You Was The Truth. The Action _Has_ Been Entered By The Ashtons."   "And I Tell You That The Action Has Not."   "I Assure You That It Has," Returned Maude. "I Told You Of The Evening We First Had Notice Of It,  And The Damages Claimed; Do You Think I Invented That,  Or Went To Sleep And Dreamt It? If Val Has Gone Down Once To That Temple About It,  He Has Gone Fifty Times. He Would Not Go For Pleasure."   The Countess-Dowager Sat Fanning Herself Quietly: For Her Daughter's Words Were Gaining Ground.   "There's A Mistake Somewhere,  Maude,  And It Is On Your Side And Not Mine. I'll Lay My Life That No Action Has Been Entered By Dr. Ashton. The Man Spoke The Truth; I Can Read The Truth When I See It As Well As Anyone: His Face Flushed With Pain And Anger At Such A Thing Being Said Of Him. It May Not Be Difficult To Explain This Contradiction."   "Do You Think Not?" Returned Maude,  Her Indifference Exciting The Listener To Anger.   "_I_ Should Say Hartledon Is Deceiving You. If Any Action Is Entered Against Him At All,  It Isn't That Sort Of Action; Or Perhaps The Young Lady Is Not Miss Ashton,  But Some Other; He's Just The Kind Of Man To Be Drawn Into Promising Marriage To A Dozen Or Two. Very Clever Of Him To Palm You Off With This Tale: A Man May Get Into Five Hundred Troubles Not Convenient To Disclose To His Wife."   Except That Lady Hartledon's Cheek Flushed A Little,  She Made No Answer; She Held Firmly--At Least She Thought She Held Firmly--To Her Own Side Of The Case. Her Mother,  On The Contrary,  Adopted The New View,  And Dismissed It From Her Thoughts Accordingly.   Maude Went To Church In The Evening,  Sitting Alone In The Great Pew,  Pale And Quiet. Anne Ashton Was Also Alone; And The Two Whilom Rivals,  The Triumphant And The Rejected,  Could Survey Each Other To Their Heart's Content.   Not Very Triumphant Was Maude's Feeling. Strange Perhaps To Say,  The Suggestion Of The Old Dowager,  Like Instilled Poison,  Was Making Its Way Into Her Very Veins. Her Thoughts Had Been Busy With The Matter Ever Since. One Positive Conviction Lay In Her Heart--That Dr. Ashton,  Now Reading The First Lesson Before Her,  For He Was Taking The Whole Of The Service That Evening,  Could Not,  Under Any Circumstance,  Be Guilty Of A False Assertion Or Subterfuge. One Solution Of The Difficulty Presented Itself To Her--That Her Mother,  In Her Irascibility,  Had Misunderstood The Rector; And Yet That Was Improbable. As Maude Half Sat,  Half Lay Back In The Pew,  For The Faint Feeling Was Especially Upon Her That Evening, She Thought She Would Give A Great Deal To Set The Matter At Rest.   When The Service Was Over She Took The More Secluded Way Home; Those Of The Servants Who Had Attended Returning As Usual By The Road. On Reaching The Turning Where The Three Paths Diverged,  The Faintness Which Had Been Hovering Over Her All The Evening Suddenly Grew Worse; And But For A Friendly Tree,  She Might Have Fallen. It Grew Better In A Few Moments, But She Did Not Yet Quit Her Support.   Very Surprised Was The Rector Of Calne To Come Up And See Lady Hartledon In This Position. Every Sunday Evening,  After Service,  He Went To Visit A Man In One Of The Cottages,  Who Was Dying Of Consumption,  And He Was On His Way There Now. He Would Have Preferred To Pass Without Speaking: But Lady Hartledon Looked In Need Of Assistance; And In Common Christian Kindness He Could Not Pass Her By.   "I Beg Your Pardon,  Lady Hartledon. Are You Ill?"   She Took His Offered Arm With Her Disengaged Hand,  As An Additional Support; And Her White Face Turned A Shade Whiter.   "A Sudden Faintness Overtook Me. I Am Better Now," She Said,  When Able To Speak.   "Will You Allow Me To Walk On With You?"   "Thank You; Just A Little Way. If You Will Not Mind It."   That He Must Have Understood The Feeling Which Prompted The Concluding Words Was Undoubted: And Perhaps Had Lady Hartledon Been In Possession Of Her Keenest Senses,  She Might Never Have Spoken Them. Pride And Health Go Out Of Us Together. Dr. Ashton Took Her On His Arm,  And They Walked Slowly In The Direction Of The Little Bridge. Colour Was Returning To Her Face,  Strength To Her Frame.   "The Heat Of The Day Has Affected You,  Possibly?"   "Yes,  Perhaps; I Have Felt Faint At Times Lately. The Church Was Very Hot To-Night."   Nothing More Was Said Until The Bridge Was Gained,  And Then Maude Released His Arm.   "Dr. Ashton,  I Thank You Very Much. You Have Been A Friend In Need."   "But Are You Sure You Are Strong Enough To Go On Alone? I Will Escort You To The House If You Are Not."   "Quite Strong Enough Now. Thank You Once Again."   As He Was Bowing His Farewell,  A Sudden Impulse To Speak,  And Set The Matter That Was Troubling Her At Rest,  Came Over Her. Without A Moment's Deliberation,  Without Weighing Her Words,  She Rushed Upon It; The Ostensible Plea An Apology For Her Mother's Having Spoken To Him.   "Yes,  I Told Lady Kirton She Was Labouring Under Some Misapprehension," He Quietly Answered.   "Will You Forgive _Me_ Also For Speaking Of It?" She Murmured. "Since My Mother Came Home With The News Of What You Said,  I Have Been Lost In A Sea Of Conjecture: I Could Not Attend To The Service For Dwelling Upon It,  And Might As Well Not Have Been In Church--A Curious Confession To Make To You,  Dr. Ashton. Is It Indeed True That You Know Nothing Of The Matter?"   "Lady Kirton Told Me In So Many Words That I Had Entered An Action Against Lord Hartledon For Breach Of Promise,  And Laid The Damages At Ten Thousand Pounds," Returned Dr. Ashton,  With A Plainness Of Speech And A Cynical Manner That Made Her Blush. And She Saw At Once That He Had Done Nothing Of The Sort; Saw It Without Any More Decisive Denial.   "But The Action Has Been Entered," Said Lady Hartledon.   "I Beg Your Pardon,  Madam. Lord Hartledon Is,  I Should Imagine,  The Only Man Living Who Could Suppose Me Capable Of Such A Thing."   "And You Have _Not_ Entered On It!" She Reiterated,  Half Bewildered By The Denial.   "Most Certainly Not. When I Parted With Lord Hartledon On A Certain Evening,  Which Probably Your Ladyship Remembers,  I Washed My Hands Of Him For Good,  Desiring Never To Approach Him In Any Way Whatever,  Never Hear Of Him,  Never See Him Again. Your Husband,  Madam,  Is Safe For Me: I Desire Nothing Better Than To Forget That Such A Man Is In Existence."   Lifting His Hat,  He Walked Away. And Lady Hartledon Stood And Gazed After Him As One In A Dream. Chapter 21 (Mr. Carr At Work) Thomas Carr Was Threading His Way Through The Mazy Precincts Of Gray's Inn,  With That Quick Step And Absorbed Manner Known Only,  I Think,  To The Busy Man Of Our Busy Metropolis. He Was On His Way To Make Some Inquiries Of A Firm Of Solicitors,  Messrs. Kedge And Reck,  Strangers To Him In All But Name.   Up Some Dark And Dingy Stairs,  He Knocked At A Dark And Dingy Door: Which,  After A Minute,  Opened Of Itself By Some Ingenious Contrivance, And Let Him Into A Passage,  Whence He Turned Into A Room,  Where Two Clerks Were Writing At A Desk.   "Can I See Mr. Kedge?"   "Not In," Said One Of The Clerks,  Without Looking Up.   "Mr. Reck,  Then?"   "Not In."   "When Will Either Of Them Be In?" Continued The Barrister; Thinking That If He Were Messrs. Kedge And Reck The Clerk Would Get His Discharge For Incivility.   "Can't Say. What's Your Business?"   "My Business Is With Them: Not With You."   "You Can See The Managing Clerk."   "I Wish To See One Of The Partners."   "Could You Give Your Name?" Continued The Gentleman,  Equably.   Mr. Carr Handed In His Card. The Clerk Glanced At It,  And Surreptitiously Showed It To His Companion; And Both Of Them Looked Up At Him. Mr. Carr Of The Temple Was Known By Reputation,  And They Condescended To Become Civil.   "Take A Seat For A Moment,  Sir," Said The One. "I'll Inquire How Long Mr. Kedge Will Be; But Mr. Reek's Not In Town To-Day."   A Few Minutes,  And Thomas Carr Found Himself In A Small Square Room With The Head Of The Firm,  A Youngish Man And Somewhat Of A Dandy,  Especially Genial In Manner,  As Though In Contrast To His Clerk. He Welcomed The Rising Barrister.   "There's As Much Difficulty In Getting To See You As If You Were Pope Of Rome," Cried Mr. Carr,  Good Humouredly.   The Lawyer Laughed. "Hopkins Did Not Know You: And Strangers Are Generally Introduced To Mr. Reck,  Or To Our Managing Clerk. What Can I Do For You,  Mr. Carr?"   "I Don't Know That You Can Do Anything For Me," Said Mr. Carr,  Seating Himself; "But I Hope You Can. At The Present Moment I Am Engaged In Sifting A Piece Of Complicated Business For A Friend; A Private Matter Entirely,  Which It Is Necessary To Keep Private. I Am Greatly Interested In It Myself,  As You May Readily Believe,  When It Is Keeping Me From Circuit. Indeed It May Almost Be Called My Own Affair," He Added, Observing The Eyes Of The Lawyer Fixed Upon Him,  And Not Caring They Should See Into His Business Too Clearly. "I Fancy You Have A Clerk,  Or Had A Clerk,  Who Is Cognizant Of One Or Two Points In Regard To It: Can You Put Me In The Way Of Finding Out Where He Is? His Name Is Gordon."   "Gordon! We Have No Clerk Of That Name. Never Had One,  That I Remember. How Came You To Fancy It?"   "I Heard It From My Own Clerk,  Taylor. One Day Last Week I Happened To Say Before Him That I'd Give A Five-Pound Note Out Of My Pocket To Get At The Present Whereabouts Of This Man Gordon. Taylor Is A Shrewd Fellow; Full Of Useful Bits Of Information,  And Knows,  I Really Believe, Three-Fourths Of London By Name. He Immediately Said A Young Man Of That Name Was With Messrs. Kedge And Reck,  Of Gray's Inn,  Either As Clerk,  Or In Some Other Capacity; And When He Described This Clerk Of Yours,  I Felt Nearly Sure That It Was The Man I Am Looking For. I Got Taylor To Make Inquiries,  And He Did,  I Believe,  Of One Of Your Clerks; But He Could Learn Nothing,  Except That No One Of That Name Was Connected With You Now. Taylor Persists That He Is Or Was Connected With You; And So I Thought The Shortest Plan To Settle The Matter Was To Ask Yourselves."   "We Have No Clerk Of That Name," Repeated Mr. Kedge,  Pushing Back Some Papers On The Table. "Never Had One."   "Understand," Said Mr. Carr,  Thinking It Just Possible The Lawyer Might Be Mistaking His Motives,  "I Have Nothing To Allege Against The Man,  And Do Not Seek To Injure Him. The Real Fact Is,  That I Do Not Want To See Him Or To Be Brought Into Personal Contact With Him; I Only Want To Know Whether He Is In London,  And,  If So,  Where?"   "I Assure You He Is Not Connected With Us," Repeated Mr. Kedge. "I Would Tell You So In A Moment If He Were."   "Then I Can Only Apologise For Having Troubled You," Said The Barrister, Rising. "Taylor Must Have Been Mistaken. And Yet I Would Have Backed His Word,  When He Positively Asserts A Thing,  Against The World. I Hardly Ever Knew Him Wrong."   Mr. Kedge Was Playing With The Locket On His Watch-Chain,  His Head Bent In Thought.   "Wait A Moment,  Mr. Carr. I Remember Now That We Took A Clerk Temporarily Into The Office In The Latter Part Of Last Year. His Writing Did Not Suit,  And We Kept Him Only A Week Or Two. I Don't Know What His Name Was, But It Might Have Been Gordon."   "Do You Remember What Sort Of A Man He Was?" Asked Mr. Carr,  Somewhat Eagerly.   "I Really Do Not. You See,  I Don't Come Much Into Contact With Our Clerks. Reck Does; But He's Not Here To-Day. I Fancy He Had Red Hair."   "Gordon Had Reddish Hair."   "You Had Better See Kimberly," Said The Solicitor,  Ringing A Bell. "He Is Our Managing Clerk,  And Knows Everything."   A Grey-Haired,  Silent-Looking Man Came In With Stooping Shoulders. Mr. Kedge,  Without Any Circumlocution,  Asked Whether He Remembered Any Clerk Of The Name Of Gordon Having Been In The House. Mr. Kimberly Responded By Saying That They Never Had One In The House Of The Name.   "Well,  I Thought Not," Observed The Principal. "There Was One Had In For A Short Time,  You Know,  While Hopkins Was Ill. I Forget His Name."   "His Name Was Druitt,  Sir. We Employed A Man Of The Name Of Gorton To Do Some Outdoor Business For Us At Times," Continued The Managing Clerk, Turning His Eyes On The Barrister; "But Not Lately."   "What Sort Of Business?"   "Serving Writs."   "Gorton Is Not Gordon," Remarked Mr. Kedge,  With Legal Acumen. "By The Way,  Kimberly,  I Have Heard Nothing Of Gorton Lately. What Has Become Of Him?"   "I Have Not The Least Idea,  Sir. We Parted In A Huff,  So He Wouldn't Perhaps Be Likely To Come In My Way Again. Some Business That He Mismanaged,  If You Remember,  Sir,  Down At Calne."   "When He Arrested One Man For Another," Laughed The Lawyer,  "And Got Entangled In A Coroner's Inquest,  And I Don't Know What All."   Mr. Carr Had Pricked Up His Ears,  Scarcely Daring To Breathe. But His Manner Was Careless To A Degree.   "The Man He Arrested Being Lord Hartledon; The Man He Ought To Have Arrested Being The Honourable Percival Elster," He Interposed,  Laughing.   "What! Do You Know About It?" Cried The Lawyer.   "I Remember Hearing Of It; I Was Intimate With Mr. Elster At The Time."   "He Has Since Become Lord Hartledon."   "Yes. But About This Gorton! I Should Not Be In The Least Surprised If He Is The Man I Am Inquiring For. Can You Describe Him To Me,  Mr. Kimberly?"   "He Is A Short,  Slight Man,  Under Thirty,  With Red Hair And Whiskers."   Mr. Carr Nodded.   "Light Hair With A Reddish Tinge It Has Been Described To Me. Do You Happen To Be At All Acquainted With His Antecedents?"   "Not I; I Know Nothing About,  The Man," Said Mr. Kedge. "Kimberly Does, Perhaps."   "No,  Sir," Dissented Kimberly. "He Had Been To Australia,  I Believe; And That's All I Know About Him."   "It Is The Same Man," Said Mr. Carr,  Quietly. "And If You Can Tell Me Anything About Him," He Continued,  Turning To The Older Man,  "I Shall Be Exceedingly Obliged To You. To Begin With--When Did You First Know Him?"   But At This Juncture An Interruption Occurred. Hopkins The Discourteous Came In With A Card,  Which He Presented To His Principal. The Gentleman Was Waiting To See Mr. Kedge. Two More Clients Were Also Waiting,  He Added,  Thomas Carr Rose,  And The End Of It Was That He Went With Mr. Kimberly To His Own Room.   "It's Carr Of The Inner Temple," Whispered Mr. Kedge In His Clerk's Ear.   "Oh,  I Know Him,  Sir."   "All Right. If You Can Help Him,  Do So."   "I First Knew Gorton About Fifteen Months Ago," Observed The Clerk,  When They Were Shut In Together. "A Friend Of Mine,  Now Dead,  Spoke Of Him To Me As A Respectable Young Fellow Who Had Fallen In The World,  And Asked If I Could Help Him To Some Employment. I Think He Told Me Somewhat Of His History; But I Quite Forget It. I Know He Was Very Low Down Then, With Scarcely Bread To Eat."   "Did This Friend Of Yours Call Him Gorton Or Gordon?" Interrupted Mr. Carr.   "Gorton. I Never Heard Him Called Gordon At All. I Remember Seeing A Book Of His That He Seemed To Set Some Store By. It Was Printed In Old English,  And Had His Name On The Title-Page: 'George Gorton. From His Affectionate Father,  W. Gorton.' I Employed Him In Some Outdoor Work. He Knew London Perfectly Well,  And Seemed To Know People Too."   "And He Had Been To Australia?"   "He Had Been To Australia,  I Feel Sure. One Day He Accidentally Let Slip Some Words About Melbourne,  Which He Could Not Well Have Done Unless He Had Seen The Place. I Taxed Him With It,  And He Shuffled Out Of It With Some Excuse; But In Such A Manner As To Convince Me He Had Been There."   "And Now,  Mr. Kimberly,  I Am Going To Ask You Another Question. You Spoke Of His Having Been At Calne; I Infer That You Sent Him To The Place On The Errand To Mr. Elster. Try To Recollect Whether His Going There Was Your Own Spontaneous Act,  Or Whether He Was The Original Mover In The Journey?"   The Grey-Haired Clerk Looked Up As Though Not Understanding.   "You Don't Quite Take Me,  I See."   "Yes I Do,  Sir; But I Was Thinking. So Far As I Can Recollect,  It Was Our Own Spontaneous Act. I Am Sure I Had No Reason To Think Otherwise At The Time. We Had Had A Deal Of Trouble With The Honourable Mr. Elster; And When It Was Found That He Had Left Town For The Family Seat,  We Came To The Resolution To Arrest Him."   Thomas Carr Paused. "Do You Know Anything Of Gordon's--Or Gorton's Doings In Calne? Did You Ever Hear Him Speak Of Them Afterwards?"   "I Don't Know That I Did Particularly. The Excuse He Made To Us For Arresting Lord Hartledon Was,  That The Brothers Were So Much Alike He Mistook The One For The Other."   "Which Would Infer That He Knew Mr. Elster By Perhaps The Vigorous Dislike Of More Important Persons Than Bessie Fairfax Is Sufficiently Accounted For. All The World Is Agreed That A Slight Wound To Men's Self-Love Rankles Much Longer Than A Mortal Injury.   It Is Not,  However,  To Be Supposed That The Beechhurst People Spited Themselves So Far As To Keep Away From The Rector's School-Treat Because They Did Not Love The Rector. (By The By,  It Was Not His Treat,  But Only Buns And Tea By Subscription Distributed In His Grounds,  With The Privilege Of Admittance To The Subscribers.) The Orthodox Gentility Of The Neighborhood Assembled In Force For The Occasion When The Sun Shone Upon It As It Shone To-Day,  And The Entertainment Was An Event For Children Of All Classes. If The Richer Sort Did Not Care For Buns,  They Did For Games; And The Carnegie Boys Were So Eager To Lose None Of The Sport That They Coaxed Bessie To Take Time By The Forelock,  And Presented Themselves Almost First On The Scene. Mrs. Wiley,  Ready And Waiting Out Of Doors To Welcome Her More Distinguished Guests,  Met A Trio Of The Little Folks,  In Bessie's Charge,  Trotting Round The End Of The House To Reach The Lawn.   "Always In Good Time,  Bessie Carnegie," Said She. "But Is Not Your Mother Coming?"   "No,  Thank You,  Mrs. Wiley," Said Bessie With Prim Decorum.   "By The By,  That Is Not Your Name. What Is Your Name,  Bessie?"   "Elizabeth Fairfax."   "Ah! Yes; Now I Remember--Elizabeth Fairfax. And Is Your Uncle Pretty Well? I Suppose We Shall See Him Later In The Day? He Ought To Look In Upon Us Before We Break Up. There! Run Away To The Children In The Orchard,  And Leave The Lawn Clear."   Bessie Accepted Her Dismissal Gladly,  Thankful To Escape The Catechetical Ordeal That Would Have Ensued Had There Been Leisure For It. She Was Almost As Shy Of The Rector's Wife As Of The Rector. Mrs. Wiley Had A Brusque,  Absent Manner,  And It Was A Trick Of Hers To Expose Her Young Acquaintance To A Fire Of Questions,  Of Which She As Regularly Forgot The Answers. She Had Often Affronted Bessie Fairfax By Asking Her Real Name,  And In The Next Breath Calling Her Affably Bessie Carnegie, The Doctor's Step-Daughter,  Niece Or Other Little Kinswoman Whom He Kept As A Help In His House For Charity's Sake.   Bessie Had But Faint Recollections Of The Rectory As Her Home,  For Since Her Father's Death She Had Never Gone There Except As A Visitor On Public Days. But The Tradition Was Always In Her Memory That Once She Had Lived In Those Pleasant Rooms,  Had Run Up And Down Those Broad Sunny Stairs,  And Played On The Spacious Lawns Of That Mossy,  Tree-Shadowed Garden. In The Orchard Had Assembled,  Besides The Children,  A Group Of Their Ex-Teachers--Miss Semple And Her Sister,  The Village Dressmakers, Miss Genet,  The Daughter At The Post-Office,  And The Two Miss Mittens--Well-Behaved And Well-Instructed Young Persons Whom Mr. Wiley's Predecessors Had Been Pleased To Employ,  But For Whom Mrs. Wiley Found No Encouragement. She Had The Ordering Of The School,  And Preferred Gentlewomen For Her Lay-Sisters. She Had Them,  And Only Herself Knew What Trouble In Keeping Them Punctual To Their Duty And In Keeping The Peace Amongst Them. There Was Dear Fat Miss Buff,  Who Had Been Right Hand In Succession To Mr. Fairfax,  Mr. Roebuck And Mr. Hutton,  Who Adored Supremacy,  And Exercised It With The Easy Sway Of Long Usage; She Felt Herself Pushed On One Side By That Ardent Young Irish Recruit,  Miss Thusy O'flynn,  Whose Peculiar Temper No One Cared To Provoke,  And Who Ruled By The Terror Of It With A Caprice That Was Trying In The Last Degree. Miss Buff Gave Way To Her,  But Not Without Grumbling,  Appealing, And Threatening To Withdraw Her Services. But She Loved Her Work In The School And In The Choir,  And Could Not Bear To Punish Herself Or Let Miss Thusy Triumph To The Extent Of Driving Her Into Private Life; So She Adhered To Her Charge In The Hope Of Better Days,  When She Would Again Be Mistress Paramount. And The Same Did Miss Wort--Also One Of The Old Governing Body--The New Gunpowder Besides Being Smokeless Is Ashless. There Is No Black Sticky Mass Of Potassium Salts Left To Foul The Gun Barrel.   The Gunpowder Period Of Warfare Was Actively Initiated At The Battle Of Cressy,  In Which,  As A Contemporary Historian Says,  "The English Guns Made Noise Like Thunder And Caused Much Loss In Men And Horses." Smokeless Powder As Invented By Paul Vieille Was Adopted By The French Government In 1887. This,  Then,  Might Be Called The Beginning Of The Guncotton Or Nitrocellulose Period--Or,  Perhaps In Deference To The Caveman's Club,  The Second Cellulose Period Of Human Warfare. Better, Doubtless,  To Call It The "High Explosive Period," For Various Other Nitro-Compounds Besides Guncotton Are Being Used.   The Important Thing To Note Is That All The Explosives From Gunpowder Down Contain Nitrogen As The Essential Element. It Is Customary To Call Nitrogen "An Inert Element" Because It Was Hard To Get It Into Combination With Other Elements. It Might,  On The Other Hand,  Be Looked Upon As An Active Element Because It Acts So Energetically In Getting Out Of Its Compounds. We Can Dodge The Question By Saying That Nitrogen Is A Most Unreliable And Unsociable Element. Like Kipling's Cat It Walks By Its Wild Lone.   It Is Not So Bad As Argon The Lazy And The Other Celibate Gases Of That Family,  Where Each Individual Atom Goes Off By Itself And Absolutely Refuses To Unite Even Temporarily With Any Other Atom. The Nitrogen Atoms Will Pair Off With Each Other And Stick Together,  But They Are Reluctant To Associate With Other Elements And When They Do The Combination Is Likely To Break Up Any Moment. You All Know People Like That,  Good Enough When By Themselves But Sure To Break Up Any Club, Church Or Society They Get Into. Now,  The Value Of Nitrogen In Warfare Is Due To The Fact That All The Atoms Desert In A Body On The Field Of Battle. Millions Of Them May Be Lying Packed In A Gun Cartridge,  As Quiet As You Please,  But Let A Little Disturbance Start In The Neighborhood--Say A Grain Of Mercury Fulminate Flares Up--And All The Nitrogen Atoms Get To Trembling So Violently That They Cannot Be Restrained. The Shock Spreads Rapidly Through The Whole Mass. The Hydrogen And Carbon Atoms Catch Up The Oxygen And In An Instant They Are Off On A Stampede,  Crowding In Every Direction To Find An Exit,  And Getting More Heated Up All The Time. The Only Movable Side Is The Cannon Ball In Front,  So They All Pound Against That And Give It Such A Shove That It Goes Ten Miles Before It Stops. The External Bombardment By The Cannon Ball Is,  Therefore,  Preceded By An Internal Bombardment On The Cannon Ball By The Molecules Of The Hot Gases,  Whose Speed Is About As Great As The Speed Of The Projectile That They Propel.   [Illustration: (C) Underwood & Underwood   The Hand Grenades Which These Women Are Boring Will Contain Potential Chemical Energy Capable Of Causing A Vast Amount Of Destruction When Released. During The War The American Government Placed Orders For 68,000,000 Such Grenades As Are Here Shown.]   [Illustration: (C) International Film Service,  Inc.   Women In A Munition Plant Engaged In The Manufacture Of Tri-Nitro-Toluol,  The Most Important Of Modern High Explosives]   The Active Agent In All These Explosives Is The Nitrogen Atom In Combination With Two Oxygen Atoms,  Which The Chemist Calls The "Nitro Group" And Which He Represents By No_{2}. This Group Was,  As I Have Said,  Originally Used In The Form Of Saltpeter Or Potassium Nitrate,  But Since The Chemist Did Not Want The Potassium Part Of It--For It Fouled His Guns--He Took The Nitro Group Out Of The Nitrate By Means Of Sulfuric Acid And By The Same Means Hooked It On To Some Compound Of Carbon And Hydrogen That Would Burn Without Leaving Any Residue,  And Give Nothing But Gases. One Of The Simplest Of These Hydrocarbon Derivatives Is Glycerin,  The Same As You Use For Sunburn. This Mixed With Nitric And Sulfuric Acids Gives Nitroglycerin,  An Easy Thing To Make,  Though I Should Not Advise Anybody Wish You'd Go Out And Buy Me One," Said Val.   "I'll Go With Pleasure,  My Lord. But Suppose Any One Comes To The Door?"   "Oh,  I'll Answer It. They'll Think Carr Has Taken On A New Clerk."   Mr. Taylor Laughed,  And Went Out. Hartledon,  Tired Of Sitting,  Began To Pace The Room And The Ante-Room. Most Men Would Have Taken Their Departure; But He Had Nothing To Do; He Had Latterly Shunned That Portion Of The World Called Society; And Was As Well In Mr. Carr's Chambers As In His Own Lodgings,  Or In Strolling About With His Troubled Heart. While Thus Occupied,  There Came A Soft Tap To The Outer Door--As Was Sure To Be The Case,  The Clerk Being Absent--And Val Opened It. A Middle-Aged,  Quiet-Looking Man Stood There,  Who Had Nothing Specially Noticeable In His Appearance,  Except A Pair Of Deep-Set Dark Eyes,  Under Bushy Eyebrows That Were Turning Grey.   "Mr. Carr Within?"   "Mr. Carr's Not In," Replied The Temporary Clerk. "I Dare Say You Can Wait."   "Likely To Be Long?"   "I Should Think Not. I Have Been Waiting For Him These Two Hours."   The Applicant Entered,  And Sat Down In The Clerk's Room. Lord Hartledon Went Into The Other,  And Stood Drumming On The Window-Pane,  As He Gazed Out Upon The Temple Garden.   "I'd Go,  But For That Note Of Carr's," He Said To Himself. "If--Halloa! That's His Voice At Last."   Mr. Carr And His Clerk Had Returned Together. The Former,  After A Few Moments,  Came In To Lord Hartledon.   "A Nice Fellow You Are,  Carr! Sending Me Word To Be Here At Eleven O'clock,  And Then Walking Off For Two Mortal Hours!"   "I Sent You Word To Wait For Me At Your Own Home!"   "Well,  That's Good!" Returned Val. "It Said,  'Be Here At Eleven,' As Plainly As Writing Could Say It."   "And There Was A Postscript Over The Leaf Telling You,  On Second Thought, _Not_ To Be Here,  But To Wait At Home For Me," Said Mr. Carr. "I Remembered A Matter Of Business That Would Take Me Up Your Way This Morning,  And Thought I'd Go On To You. It's Just Your Careless Fashion, Hartledon,  Reading Only Half Your Letters! You Should Have Turned It Over."   "Who Was To Think There Was Anything On The Other Side? Folk Don't Turn Their Letters Over From Curiosity When They Are Concluded On The First Page."   "I Never Had A Letter In My Life But I Turned It Over To Make Sure," Observed The More Careful Barrister. "I Have Had My Walk For Nothing."   "And I Have Been Cooling My Heels Here! And You Took The Newspaper With You!"   "No,  I Did Not. Churton Sent In From His Rooms To Borrow It."   "Well,  Let The Misunderstanding Go,  And Forgive Me For Being Cross. Do You Know,  Carr,  I Think I Am Growing Ill-Tempered From Trouble. What News Have You For Me?"   "I'll Tell You By-And-By. Do You Know Who That Is In The Other Room?"   "Not I. He Seemed To Stare Me Inside-Out In A Quiet Way As I Let Him In."   "Ay. It's Green,  The Detective. At Times A Question Occurs To Me Whether That's His Real Name,  Or One Assumed In His Profession. He Has Come To Report At Last. Had You Better Remain?"   "Why Not?"   Mr. Carr Looked Dubious.   "You Can Make Some Excuse For My Presence."   "It's Not That. I'm Thinking If You Let Slip A Word--"   "Is It Likely?"   "Inadvertently,  I Mean."   "There's No Fear. You Have Not Mentioned My Name To Him?"   "I Retort In Your Own Words--Is It Likely? He Does Not Know Why He Is Being Employed Or What I Want With The Man I Wish Traced. At Present He Is Working,  As Far As That Goes,  In The Dark. I Might Have Put Him On A False Scent,  Just As Cleverly And Unsuspiciously As I Dare Say He Could Put Me; But I've Not Done It. What's The Matter With You To-Day, Hartledon? You Look Ill."   "I Only Look What I Am,  Then," Was The Answer. "But I'm No Worse Than Usual. I'd Rather Be Transported--I'd Rather Be Hanged,  For That Matter--Than Lead The Life Of Misery I Am Leading. At Times I Feel Inclined To Give In,  But Then Comes The Thought Of Maude."     Chapter 22 (Somebody Else At Work) They Were Shut In Together: The Detective Officer,  Mr. Carr,  And Lord Hartleplan For Raising The Quality Of National School Teaching By Introducing Into The Ranks Of The Teachers Young Gentlewomen Unprovided By Fortune. She Advised No More Than She Would Have Done,  And All She Said Was Good, If Bessie's Circumstances Had Been What She Assumed. But Bessie, Conscious That They Were About To Suffer A Change,  Felt Impelled At Last To Set Lady Latimer Right. Her Shy Face Mitigated The Effect Of Her Speech.   "I Have Kindred In Woldshire,  My Lady,  Who Want Me. I Am The Only Child In This Generation,  And My Grandfather Fairfax Says That It Is Necessary For Me To Go Back To My Own People."   Lady Latimer's Face Suddenly Reflected A Tint Of Bessie's. But No After-Thought Was In Bessie's Mind,  Her Simplicity Was Genuine. She Esteemed It Praise To Be Selected As A Fit Child To Teach Children; And, Besides,  Whatever My Lady Had Said At This Period Would Have Sounded Right In Bessie's Ears. When She Had Uttered Her Statement,  She Waited Till Lady Latimer Spoke.   "Do You Belong To The Fairfaxes Of Kirkham? Is Your Grandfather Richard Fairfax Of Abbotsmead?" She Said In A Quick Voice,  With An Inflection Of Surprise.   "Yes,  My Lady. My Father Was Geoffry,  The Third Son; My Mother Was Elizabeth Bulmer."   "I Knew Abbotsmead Many Years Ago. It Will Be A Great Change For You. How Old Are You,  Bessie? Fourteen,  Fifteen?"   "Fifteen,  My Lady,  Last Birthday,  The Fourth Of March."   Lady Latimer Thought To Herself,  "Here Is An Exact Little Girl!" Then She Said Aloud,  "It Would Have Been Better For You If Your Grandfather Had Recalled You When You Were Younger."   Bessie Was Prepared To Hear This Style Of Remark,  And To Repudiate The Implication. She Replied Almost With Warmth,  "My Lady,  I Have Lost Nothing By Being Left Here. Beechhurst Will Always Be Home To Me. If I Had My Choice I Would Not Go To Kirkham."   Lady Latimer Thought Again What A Nice Voice Bessie Had,  And Regarded Her With A Growing Interest,  That Arose In Part Out Of Her Own Recollections. She Questioned Her Concerning Her Father's Death,  And The Circumstances Of Her Adoption By Mr. And Mrs. Carnegie,  And Reflected That,  Happily,  She Was Too Simple,  Too Much Of A Child Yet,  For Any But Family Attachments--Happily,  Because,  Though Bessie Had No Experience To Measure It By,  There Would Be A Wide Difference Between Her Position As The Doctor's Adopted Daughter Amongst A House Full Of Children,  And As Heiress Presumptive Of Mr. Fairfax Of Abbotsmead.   "Have You Ever Seen Abbotsmead,  Bessie?" She Said.   "No,  My Lady,  I Have Never Been In Woldshire Since I Was A Baby. I Was Born At Kirkham Vicarage,  My Grandfather Bulmer's House,  But I Was Not A Year Old When We Came Away. I Have A Drawing Of Abbotsmead That My Mother Made--It Is Not Beautiful."   "But Abbotsmead Is Very Beautiful--The Country Round About Is Not So Delicious As The Forest,  For It Has Less Variety: It Is Out Of Sight Of The Sea,  And The Trees Are Not So Grand,  But Abbotsmead Itself Is A Lovely Spot. The House Stands On A Peninsula Formed By A Little Brawling River,  And In The Park Are The Ruins That Give The Place Its Name. I Remember The Garden At Abbotsmead As A Garden Where The Sun Always Shone."   Bessie Was Much Cheered. "How Glad I Am! In My Picture The Sun Does Not Shine At All. It Is The Color Of A Dark Day In November."   The Concise Simplicity Of Bessie's Talk Pleased Lady Latimer. She Decided That Mrs. Carnegie Must Be A Gentlewoman,  And That Bessie Had Qualities Capable Of Taking A Fine Polish. She Would Have Held The Child In Conversation Longer Had Not Mrs. Wiley Come Up,  And After A Word Or Two About The Success Of The Feast,  Bade Bessie Run Away And See That Her Little Brothers Were Not Getting Into Mischief. Lady Latimer Nodded Her A Kind Dismissal,  And Off She Went.   Six O'clock Struck. By That Time The Buns Were All Eaten,  The Prizes Were All Distributed,  And The Cream Of The Company Had Driven Or Walked Away,  But Cricket Still Went On In The Meadow,  And Children's Games In The Orchard. One Or Two Face Somewhat Turned From Them,  As Though The Business Did Not Concern Him.   "And Now I Will Relate To You What More I Know Of Gordon," Resumed Mr. Carr,  Moving His Chair Nearer The Detective,  And So Partially Screening Lord Hartledon. "He Was In London Last Year,  Employed By Kedge And Reck, Of Gray's Inn,  To Serve Writs. What He Had Done With Himself From The Time Of The Mutiny--Allowing That He Was Identical With The Gordon Of That Business--I Dare Say No One Living Could Tell,  Himself Excepted. He Was Calling Himself Gorton Last Autumn. Not Much Of A Change From His Own Name."   "George Gorton," Assented The Detective.   "Yes,  George Gorton. I Knew This Much When I First Applied To You. I Did Not Mention It Because I Preferred To Let You Go To Work Without It. Understand Me; That It Is The Same Man,  I _Know_; But There Are Nevertheless Discrepancies In The Case That I Cannot Reconcile; And I Thought You Might Possibly Arrive At Some Knowledge Of The Man Without This Clue Better Than With It."   "Sorry To Differ From You,  Mr. Carr; Must Hold To The Belief That George Gorton,  Employed At Kedge And Reck's,  Was Not The Same Man At All," Came The Cool And Obstinate Rejoinder. "Have Sifted The Apparent Similarity Between The Two,  And Drawn Conclusions Accordingly."   The Remark Implied That The Detective Was Wiser On The Subject Of George Gorton Than Mr. Carr Had Bargained For,  And A Shadow Of Apprehension Stole Over Him. It Was By No Means His Wish That The Sharp Detective And The Man Should Come Into Contact With Each Other; All He Wanted Was To Find Out Where He Was At Present,  _Not_ That He Should Be Meddled With. This He Had Fully Explained In The First Instance,  And The Other Had Acquiesced In His Curt Way.   "You Are Thinking Me Uncommon Clever,  Getting On The Track Of George Gorton,  When Nothing On The Surface Connects Him With The Man Wanted," Remarked The Detective,  With Professional Vanity. "Came Upon It Accidentally; As Well Confess It; Don't Want To Assume More Credit Than's Due. It Was In This Way. Evening Following Your Instructions,  Had To See Managing Clerk Of Kedge And Reck; Was Engaged On A Little Matter For Them. Business Over,  He Asked Me If I Knew Anything Of A Man Named George Gorton,  Or Gordon--As I Seemed To Know Something Of Pretty Well Everybody. Having Just Been Asked Here About George Gordon,  I Naturally Connected The Two Questions Together. Inquired Of Kimberly _Why_ He Suspected His Clerk Gorton Should Be Gordon; Kimberly Replied He Did Not Suspect Him,  But A Gentleman Did,  Who Had Been There That Day. This Put Me On Gorton's Track."   "And You Followed It Up?"   "Of Course; Keeping My Own Counsel. Took It Up In Haste,  Though; No Deliberation; Went Off To Calne,  Without First Comparing Notes With Gordon's Friend The Surgeon."   "To Calne!" Explained Mr. Carr,  While Lord Hartledon Turned His Head And Took A Sharp Look At The Speaker.   A Nod Was The Only Answer. "Got Down; Thought At First As You Do,  Mr. Carr,  That Man Was The Same,  And Was On Right Track. Went To Work In My Own Way; Was A Countryman Just Come Into A Snug Bit Of Inheritance, Looking Out For A Corner Of Land. Wormed Out A Bit Here And A Bit There; Heard This From One,  That From Another; Nearly Got An Interview With My Lord Hartledon Himself,  As Candidate For One Of His Farms."   "Lord Hartledon Was Not At Calne,  I Think," Interrupted Mr. Carr, Speaking Impulsively.   "Know It Now; Didn't Then; And Wanted,  For Own Purposes,  To Get A Sight Of Him And A Word With Him. Went To His Place: Saw A Queer Old Creature In Yellow Gauze; Saw My Lord's Wife,  Too,  At A Distance; Fine Woman; Got Intimate With Butler,  Named Hedges; Got Intimate With Two Or Three More; Altogether Turned The Recent Doings Of Mr. Gorton Inside Out."   "Well?" Said Mr. Carr,  In His Surprise.   "Care To Hear 'Em?" Continued The Detective,  After A Moment's Pause; And A Feeling Crossed Mr. Carr,  That If Ever He Had A Deep Man To Deal With It Was This One,  In Spite Of His Apparent Simplicity. "Gorton Went Down On His Errand For Kedge And Reck,  Writ In Pocket For Mr. Elster; Had Boasted He Knew Him. Can't Quite Make Out Whether He Did Or Not; Any Rate,  Served Writ On Lord Hartledon By Mistake. Lordship Made A Joke Of It; Took Up The Matter As A Brother Ought; Wrote Himself To Kedge And Reck To Get It Settled. Brothers Quarrelled; Day Or Two,  And Elder Was Drowned,  Nobody Seems To Know How. Gorton Stopped On,  Against Orders From Kimberly; Said Afterwards,  By Way Of Excuse,  Had Been Served With Summons To Attend Inquest. Couldn't Say Much At Inquest,  Or _Didn't_; Was Asked If He Witnessed Accident; Said 'No,' But Some Still Think He Did. Showed Himself At Hartledon Afterwards Trying To Get Interview With New Lord; New Lord Wouldn't See Him,  And Butler Turned Him Out. Gorton In A Rage, Went Back To Inn,  Got Some Drink,  Said He Might Be Able To _Make_ His Lordship See Him Yet; Hinted At Some Secret,  But Too Far Gone To Know What He Said; Began Boasting Of Adventures In Australia. Loose Man There, One Pike,  Took Him In Charge,  And Saw Him Off By Rail For London."   "Yes?" Said Mr. Carr,  For The Speaker Had Stopped.   "That's Pretty Near All As Far As Gorton Goes. Got A Clue To An Address In London,  Where He Might Be Heard Of: Got It Oddly,  Too; But That's No Matter. Came Up Again And Went To Address; Could Learn Nothing; Tracked Here,  Tracked There,  Both For Gordon And Gorton; Found Gorton Disappeared Close Upon Time He Was Cast Adrift By Kimberly. Not In London As Far As Can Be Traced; Where Gone,  Can't Tell Yet. So Much Done,  Summed Up My Experiences And Came Here To-Day To State Them."   "Proceed," Said Mr. Carr.   The Detective Put His Note-Book In His Pocket,  And With His Elbows Still On The Table,  Pressed His Fingers Together Alternately As He Stated His Points,  Speaking Less Abruptly Than Before.   "My Conclusion Is--The Gordon You Spoke To Me About Was The Gordon Who Led The Mutiny On Board The _Morning Star_; That He Never,  After That, Came Back To England; Has Never Been Heard Of,  In Short,  By Any Living Soul In It. That The Gorton Employed By Kedge And Reck Was Another Man Altogether. Neither Is To Be Traced; The One May Have Found His Grave In The Sea Years Ago; The Other Has Disappeared Out Of London Life Since Last October,  And I Can't Trace How Or Where."   Mr. Carr Listened In Silence. To Reiterate That The Two Men Were Identical,  Would Have Been Waste Of Time,  Since He Could Not Avow How He Knew It,  Or Give The Faintest Clue. The Detective Himself Had Unconsciously Furnished A Proof.   "Will You Tell Me Your Grounds For Believing Them To Be Different Men?" He Asked.   "Nay," Said The Keen Detective,  "The Shortest Way Would Be For You To Give Me Your Grounds For Thinking Them To Be The Same."   "I Cannot Do It," Said Mr. Carr. "It Might Involve--No,  I Cannot Do It."   "Well,  I Suspected So. I Don't Mind Mentioning One Or Two On My Side. The Description Of Gorton,  As I Had It From Kimberly,  Does Not Accord With That Of Gordon As Given Me By His Friend The Surgeon. I Wrote Out The Description Of Gorton,  And Took It To Him. 'Is This Gordon?' I Asked. 'No,  It Is Not,' Said He; And I'm Sure He Spoke The Truth."   "Gordon,  On His Return From Australia,  Might Be A Different-Looking Man From The Gordon Who Went To It."   "And Would Be,  No Doubt. But See Here: Gorton Was Not Disguised; Gordon Would Not Dare To Be In London Without Being So; His Head's Not Worth A Day's Purchase. Fancy His Walking About With Only One Letter In His Name Altered! Rely Upon It,  Mr. Carr,  You Are Mistaken; Gordon Would No More Dare Come Back And Put His Head Into The Lion's Mouth Than You'd Jump Into A Fiery Furnace. He Couldn't Land Without Being Dropped Upon: The Man Was No Common Offender,  And We've Kept Our Eyes Open. And That's All," Added The Detective,  After A Pause. "Not Very Satisfactory,  Is It, Mr. Carr? But,  Such As It Is,  I Think You May Rely Upon It,  In Spite Of Your Own Opinion. Meanwhile,  I'll Keep On The Look-Out For Gorton,  And Tell You If He Turns Up."   The Conference Was Over,  And Mr. Green Took His Departure. Thomas Carr Saw Him Out Himself,  Returned And Sat Down In A Reverie.   "It's A Curious Tale," Said Lord Hartledon.   "I'm Thinking How The Fact,  Now Disclosed,  Of Gordon's Being Gordon Of The Mutiny,  Affects You," Remarked Mr. Carr.   "You Believe Him To Be The Same?"   "I See No Reason To Doubt It. It's Not Probable That Two George Gordons Should Take Their Passage Home In The _Morning Star_. Besides,  It Explains Points That Seemed Incomprehensible. I Could Not Understand Why You Were Not Troubled By This Man,  But Rely Upon It He Has Found It Expedient To Go Into Effectual Hiding,  And Dare Not Yet Come Out Of It. This Fact Is A Very Great Hold Upon Him; And If He Turns Round On You, You May Keep Him In Check With It. Only Let Me Alight On Him; I'll So Frighten Him As To Cause Him To Ship Himself Off For Life."   "I Don't Like That Detective's Having Gone Down To Calne," Remarked Lord Hartledon.   Neither Did Mr. Carr,  Especially If Gordon,  Or Gorton,  Should Have Become Talkative,  As There Was Reason To Believe He Had.   "Gordon Is In England,  And In Hiding; Probably In London,  For There's No Place Where You May Hide So Effectually. One Thing I Am Astonished At: That He Should Show Himself Openly As George Gorton."   "Look Here,  Carr," Said Lord Hartledon,  Leaning Forward; "I Don't Believe,  In Spite Of You And The Detective,  That Gordon,  Our Gordon,  Was The One Connected With The Mutiny. I Might Possibly Get A Description Of That Man From Gum Of Calne; For His Son Was Coming Home In The Same Ship--Was One Of Those Killed."   "Who's Gum Of Calne?"   "The Parish Clerk,  And A Very Respectable Man. Mirrable,  Our Housekeeper Whom You Have Seen,  Is Related To Them. Gum Went To Liverpool At The Time,  I Know,  And Saw The Remnant Of The Passengers Those Pirates Had Spared; He Was Sure To Hear A Full Description Of Gordon. If Ever I Visit Hartledon Again I'll Ask Him."   "If Ever You Visit Hartledon Again!" Echoed Mr. Carr. "Unless You Leave The Country--As I Advise You To Do--You Cannot Help Visiting Hartledon."   "Well,  I Would Almost As Soon Be Hanged!" Cried Val. "And Now,  What Do You Want Me For,  And Why Have You Kept Me Here?"   Mr. Carr Drew His Chair Nearer To Lord Hartledon. They Alone Knew Their Own Troubles,  And Sat Talking Long After The Afternoon Was Over. Mr. Taylor Came To The Room; It Was Past His Usual Hour Of Departure.   "I Suppose I Can Go,  Sir?"   "Not Just Yet," Replied Mr. Carr.   Hartledon Took Out His Watch,  And Wondered Whether It Had Been Galloping, When He Saw How Late It Was. "You'll Come Home And Dine With Me,  Carr?"   "I'll Follow You,  If You Like," Was The Reply. "I Have A Matter Or Two To Attend To First."   A Few Minutes More,  And Lord Hartledon And His Care Went Out. Mr. Carr Called In His Clerk.   "I Want To Know How You Came To Learn That The Man I Asked You About, Gordon,  Was Employed By Kedge And Reck?"   "I Heard It Through A Man Named Druitt," Was The Ready Answer. "Happening To Ask Him--As I Did Several People--Whether He Knew Any George Gordon, He At Once Said That A Man Of That Name Was At Kedge And Reck's,  Where Druitt Himself Had Been Temporarily Employed."   "Ah," Said Mr. Carr,  Remembering This Same Druitt Had Been Mentioned To Him. "But The Man Was Called Gorton,  Not Gordon. You Must Have Caught Up The Wrong Name,  Taylor. Or Perhaps He Misunderstood You. That's All; You May Go Now."   The Clerk Departed. Mr. Carr Took His Hat And Followed Him Down; But Before Joining Lord Hartledon He Turned Into The Temple Gardens,  And Strolled Towards The River; A Few Moments Of Fresh Air--Fresh To Those Hard-Worked Denizens Of Close And Crowded London--Seemed Absolutely Necessary To The Barrister's Heated Brain.   He Sat Down On A Bench Facing The Water,  And Bared His Brow To The Breeze. A Cool Head,  His; Never A Cooler Brought Thought To Bear Upon Perplexity; Nevertheless It Was Not Feeling Very Collected Now. He Could Not Reconcile Sundry Discrepancies In The Trouble He Was Engaged In Fathoming,  And He Saw No Release Whatever For Lord Hartledon.   "It Has Only Complicated The Affair," He Said,  As He Watched The Steamers Up And Down,  "This Calling In Green The Detective,  And The News He Brings. Gordon The Gordon Of The Mutiny! I Don't Like It: The Other Gordon,  Simple Enough And Not Bad-Hearted,  Was Easy To Deal With In Comparison; This Man,  Pirate,  Robber,  Murderer,  Will Stand At Nothing. We Should Have A Hold On Him,  It's True,  In His Own Crime; But What's To Prevent His Keeping Himself Out Of The Way,  And Selling Hartledon To Another? Why He Has Not Sold Him Yet,  I Can't Think. Unless For Some Reason He Is Waiting His Time."   He Put On His Hat And Began To Count The Barges On The Other Side,  To Banish Thought. But It Would Not Be Banished,  And He Fell Into The Train Again.   "Mair's Behaving Well; With Christian Kindness; But It's Bad Enough To Be Even In _His_ Power. There's Something In Lord Hartledon He 'Can't Help Loving,' He Writes. Who Can? Here Am I,  Giving Up Circuit--Such A Thing As Never Was Heard Of--Calling Him Friend Still,  And Losing My Rest At Night For Him! Poor Val! Better He Had Been The One To Die!"   "Please,  Sir,  Could You Tell Us The Time?"   The Spell Was Broken,  And Mr. Carr Took Out His Watch As He Turned His Eyes On A Ragged Urchin Who Had Called To Him From Below.   The Tide Was Down; And Sundry Arabs Were Regaling Their Naked Feet In The Mud,  Sporting And Shouting. The Evening Drew In Earlier Than They Did, And The Sun Had Already Set.   Quitting The Garden,  Mr. Carr Stepped Into A Hansom,  And Was Conveyed To Grafton Street. He Found Lord Hartledon Knitting His Brow Over A Letter.   "Maude Is Growing Vexed In Earnest," He Began,  Looking Up At Mr. Carr. "She Insists Upon Knowing The Reason That I Do Not Go Home To Her."   "I Don't Wonder At It. You Ought To Do One Of Two Things: Go,  Or--"   "Or What,  Carr?"   "You Know. Never Go Home Again."   "I Wish I Was Out Of The World!" Cried The Unhappy Man.     Chapter 23 (At Hartledon)   "Hartledon,     "I Wonder What You _Think_ Of Yourself,  Galloping About _Rotten Row_   With Women When Your Wife's _Dying_. Of _Course_ It's Not Your Fault   That Reports Of Your Goings-On _Reach_ Her Here Oh Dear No. You Are A   Moddel Husband You Are,  Sending Her Down Here _Out Of The Way_ That You   May Take Your Pleasure. Why Did You _Marry Her_,  Nobody Wanted You To   She Sits And _Mopes_ And _Weeps_ And She's Going Into The Same Way That   Her Father _Went_,  You'll Be Glad No Doubt To Hear It It's What You're   _Aiming_ At,  Once She Is In _Calne Churchyard_ The _Field_ Will Be Open   For Your Anne Ashton. I Can Tell You That If You've A Spark Of _Proper   Feeling_ You'll Come _Down_ For Its Killing Her,     "Your Wicked Mother,     "C. Kirton."   Lord Hartledon Turned This Letter About In His Hand. He Scarcely Noticed The Mistake At The Conclusion: The Dowager Had Doubtless Intended To Imply That _He_ Was Wicked,  And The Slip Of The Pen In Her Temper Went For Nothing.   Galloping About Rotten Row With Women!   Hartledon Sent His Thoughts Back,  Endeavouring To Recollect What Could Have Given Rise To This Charge. One Morning,  After A Sleepless Night, When He Had Tossed And Turned On His Uneasy Bed,  And Risen Unrefreshed, He Hired A Horse,  For He Had None In Town,  And Went For A Long Ride. Coming Back He Turned Into Rotten Row. He Could Not Tell Why He Did So, For Such Places,  Affected By The Gay,  Empty-Headed Votaries Of Fashion, Were Little Consonant To His Present State. He Was Barely In It When A Lady's Horse Took Fright: She Was Riding Alone,  With A Groom Following; Lord Hartledon Gave Her His Assistance,  Led Her Horse Until The Animal Was Calm,  And Rode Side By Side With Her To The End Of The Row. He Knew Not Who She Was; Scarcely Noticed Whether She Was Young Or Old; And Had Not Given A Remembrance To It Since.   When Your Wife's Dying! Accustomed To The Strong Expressions Of The Countess-Dowager,  He Passed That Over. But,  "Going The Same Way That Her Father Went;" He Paused There,  And Tried To Remember How Her Father Did "Go." All He Could Recollect Now,  Indeed All He Knew At The Time,  Was, That Lord Kirton's Last Illness Was Reported To Have Been A Lingering One.   Such Missives As These--And The Countess-Dowager Favoured Him With More Than One--Coupled With His Own Consciousness That He Was Not Behaving To His Wife As He Ought,  Took Him At Length Down To Hartledon. That His Presence At The Place So Soon After His Marriage Was Little Short Of An Insult To Dr. Ashton's Family,  His Sensitive Feelings Told Him; But His Duty To His Wife Was Paramount,  And He Could Not Visit His Sin Upon Her.   She Was Looking Very Ill; Was Low-Spirited And Hysterical; And When She Caught Sight Of Him She Forgot Her Anger,  And Fell Sobbing Into His Arms. The Countess-Dowager Had Gone Over To Garchester,  And They Had A Few Hours' Peace Together.   "You Are Not Looking Well,  Maude!"   "I Know I Am Not. Why Do You Stay Away From Me?"   "I Could Not Help Myself. Business Has Kept Me In London."   "Have _You_ Been Ill Also? You Look Thin And Worn."   "One Does Grow To Look Thin In Heated London," He Replied Evasively, As He Walked To The Window,  And Stood There. "How Is Your Brother, Maude--Bob?"   "I Don't Want To Talk About Bob Yet; I Have To Talk To You," She Said. "Percival,  Why Did You Practise That Deceit Upon Me?"   "What Deceit?"   "It Was A Downright Falsehood; And Made Me Look Awfully Foolish When I Came Here And Spoke Of It As A Fact. That Action."   Lord Hartledon Made No Reply. Here Was One Cause Of His Disinclination To Meet His Wife--Having To Keep Up The Farce Of Dr. Ashton's Action. It Seemed,  However,  That There Would No Longer Be Any Farce To Keep Up. Had It Exploded? He Said Nothing. Maude Gazing At Him From The Sofa On Which She Sat,  Her Dark Eyes Looking Larger Than Of Yore,  With Hollow Circles Round Them,  Waited For His Answer.   "I Do Not Know What You Mean,  Maude."   "You _Do_ Know. You Sent Me Down Here With A Tale That The Ashtons Had Entered An Action Against You For Breach Of Promise--Damages,  Ten Thousand Pounds--"   "Stay An Instant,  Maude. I Did Not 'Send You Down' With The Tale. I Particularly Requested You To Keep It Private."   "Well,  Mamma Drew It Out Of Me Unawares. She Vexed Me With Her Comments About Your Staying On In London,  And It Made Me Tell Her Why You Had Stayed. She Ascertained From Dr. Ashton That There Was Not A Word Of Truth In The Story. Val,  I Betrayed It In Your Defence."   He Stood At The Window In Silence,  His Lips Compressed.   "I Looked So Foolish In The Eyes Of Dr. Ashton! The Sunday Evening After I Came Down Here I Had A Sort Of Half-Fainting-Fit,  Coming Home From Church. He Overtook Me,  And Was Very Kind,  And Gave Me His Arm. I Said A Word To Him; I Could Not Help It; Mamma Had Worried Me On So; And I Learned That No Such Action Had Ever Been Thought Of. You Had No Right To Subject Me To The Chance Of Such Mortification. Why Did You Do So?"   Lord Hartledon Came From The Window And Sat Down Near His Wife,  His Elbow On The Table. All He Could Do Now Was To Make The Best Of It,  And Explain As Near To The Truth As He Could.   "Maude,  You Must Not Expect Full Confidence On This Subject,  For I Cannot Give It You. When I Found I Had Reason To Believe That Some--Some Legal Proceedings Were About To Be Instituted Against Me,  Just At The First Intimation Of The Trouble,  I Thought It Must Emanate From Dr. Ashton. You Took Up The Same Idea Yourself,  And I Did Not Contradict It,  Simply Because I Could Not Tell You The Real Truth--"   "Yes," She Interrupted. "It Was The Night That Stranger Called At Our House,  When You And Mr. Carr Were Closeted With Him So Long."   He Could Not Deny It; But He Had Been Thankful That She Should Forget The Stranger And His Visit. Maude Waited.   "Then It Was An Action,  But Not Brought By The Ashtons?" She Resumed, Finding He Did Not Speak. "Mamma Remarked That You Were Just The One To Propose To Half-A-Dozen Girls."   "It Was Not An Action At All Of That Description; And I Never Proposed To Any Girl Except Miss Ashton," He Returned,  Nettled At The Remark.   "Is It Over?"   "Not Quite;" And There Was Some Hesitation In His Tone. "Carr Is Settling It For Me. I Trust,  Maude,  You Will Never Hear Of It Again--That It Will Never Trouble You."   She Sat Looking At Him With Her Wistful Eyes.   "Won't You Tell Me Its Nature?"   "I Cannot Tell You,  Maude,  Believe Me. I Am As Candid With You As It Is Possible To Be; But There Are Some Things Best--Best Not Spoken Of. Maude," He Repeated,  Rising Impulsively And Taking Both Her Hands In His, "Do You Wish To Earn My Love--My Everlasting Gratitude? Then You May Do It By Nevermore Alluding To This."   It Was A Mistaken Request; An Altogether Unwise Emotion. Better That He Had Remained At The Window,  And Drawled Out A Nonchalant Denial. But He Was Apt To Be As Earnestly Genuine On The Surface As He Was In Reality. It Set Lady Hartledon Wondering; And She Resolved To "Bide Her Time."   "As You Please,  Of Course,  Val. But Why Should It Agitate You?"   "Many A Little Thing Seems To Agitate Me Now," He Answered. "I Have Not Felt Well Of Late; Perhaps That's The Reason."   "I Think You Might Have Satisfied Me A Little Better. I Expect It Is Some Enormous Debt Risen Up Against You."   Better She Should Think So! "I Shall Tide It Over," He Said Aloud. "But Indeed,  Maude,  I Cannot Bear For You Delicate Women To Be Brought Into Contact With These Things; They Are Fit For Us Only. Think No More About It,  And Rely On Me To Keep Trouble From You If It Can Be Kept. Where's Bob? He Is Here,  I Suppose?"   "Bob's In His Room. He Is Going Into A Way,  I Think. When He Wrote And Asked Me If I Would Allow Him To Come Here For A Little Change,  The Medical Men Saying He Must Have It,  Mamma Sent A Refusal By Return Of Post; She Had Had Enough Of Bob,  She Said,  When He Was Here Before. But I Quietly Wrote A Note Myself,  And Bob Came. He Looked Ill,  And Gets Worse Instead Of Better."   "What Do You Mean By Saying He Is Going Into A Way?" Asked Lord Hartledon.   "Consumption,  Or Something Of That Sort. Papa Died Of It. You Are Not Angry With Me For Having Bob?"   "Angry! My Dear Maude,  The House Is Yours; And If Poor Bob Stayed With Us For Ever,  I Should Welcome Him As A Brother. Every One Likes Bob."   "Except Mamma. She Does Not Like Invalids In The House,  And Has Been Saying You Don't Like It; That It Was Helping To Keep You Away. Poor Bob Had Out His Portmanteau And Began To Pack; But I Told Him Not To Mind Her; He Was My Guest,  Not Hers."   "And Mine Also,  You Might Have Added."   He Left The Room,  And Went To The Chamber Captain Kirton Had Occupied When He Was At Hartledon In The Spring. It Was Empty,  Evidently Not Being Used; And Hartledon Sent For Mirrable. She Came,  Looking Just As Usual, Wearing A Dark-Green Silk Gown; For The Twelve-Month Had Expired,  And Their Mourning Was Over.   "Captain Kirton Is In The Small Blue Rooms Facing South,  My Lord. They Were Warmer For Him Than These."   "Is He Very Ill,  Mirrable?"   "Very,  I Think," Was The Answer. "Of Course He May Get Better; But It Does Not Look Like It."   He Was A Tall,  Thin,  Handsome Man,  This Young Officer--A Year Or Two Older Than Maude,  Whom He Greatly Resembled. Seated Before A Table,  He Was Playing At That Delectable Game "Solitaire;" And His Eyes Looked Large And Wild With Surprise,  And His Cheeks Became Hectic,  When Lord Hartledon Entered.   "Bob,  My Dear Fellow,  I Am Glad To See You."   He Took His Hands And Sat Down,  His Face Full Of The Concern He Did Not Care To Speak. Lady Hartledon Had Said He Was Going Into A Way; It Was Evidently The Way Of The Grave.   He Pushed The Balls And The Board From Him,  Half Ashamed Of His Employment. "To Think You Should Catch Me At This!" He Exclaimed. "Maude Brought It To Me Yesterday,  Thinking I Was Dull Up Here."   "As Good That As Anything Else. I Often Think What A Miserably Restless Invalid _I_ Should Make. But Now,  What's Wrong With You?"   "Well,  I Suppose It's The Heart."   "The Heart?"   "The Doctors Say So. No Doubt They Are Right; Those Complaints Are Hereditary,  And My Father Had It. I Got Quite Unfit For Duty,  And They Told Me I Must Go Away For Change; So I Wrote To Maude,  And She Took Me In."   "Yes,  Yes; We Are Glad To Have You,  And Must Try And Get You Well,  Bob."   "Ah,  I Can't Tell About That. He Died Of It,  You Know."   "Who?"   "My Father. He Was Ill For Some Time,  And It Wore Him To A Skeleton,  So That People Thought He Was In A Decline. If I Could Only Get Sufficiently Well To Go Back To Duty,  I Should Not Mind; It Is So Sad To Give Trouble In A Strange House."   "In A Strange House It Might Be,  But It Would Be Ungrateful To Call This One Strange," Returned Lord Hartledon,  Smiling On Him From His Pleasant Blue Eyes. "We Must Get You To Town And Have Good Advice For You. I Suppose Hillary Comes Up?"   "Every-Day."   "Does _He_ Say It's Heart-Disease?"   "I Believe He Thinks It. It Might Be As Much As His Reputation Is Worth To Say It In This House."   "How Do You Mean?"   "My Mother Won't Have It Said. She Ignores The Disease Altogether,  And Will Not Allow It To Be Mentioned,  Or Hinted At. It's Bronchitis,  She Tells Everyone; And Of Course Bronchitis It Must Be. I Did Have A Cough When I Came Here: My Chest Is Not Strong."   "But Why Should She Ignore Heart-Disease?"   "There Was A Fear That Maude Would Be Subject To It When She Was A Child. Should It Be Disclosed To Her That It Is My Complaint,  And Were I To Die Of It,  She Might Grow So Alarmed For Herself As To Bring It On; And Agitation,  As We Know,  Is Often Fatal In Such Cases."   Lord Hartledon Sat In A Sort Of Horror. Maude Subject To Heart-Disease! When At Any Moment A Certain Fearful Tale,  Of Which He Was The Guilty Centre,  Might Be Disclosed To Her! Day By Day,  Hour By Hour,  He Lived In Dread Of This Story's Being Brought To Light. This Little Unexpected Communication Increased That Dread Fourfold.   "Have I Shocked You?" Asked Captain Kirton. "I May Yet Get The Better Of It."   "I Believe I Was Thinking Of Maude," Answered Hartledon,  Slowly Recovering From His Stupor. "I Never Heard--I Had No Idea That Maude's Heart Was Not Perfectly Sound."   "And I Don't Know But That It Is Sound; It Was Only A Fancy When She Was A Child,  And There Might Have Been No Real Grounds For It. My Mother Is Full Of Crotchets On The Subject Of Illness; And Says She Won't Have Anything About Heart-Disease Put Into Maude's Head. She Is Right,  Of Course,  So Far,  In Using Precaution; So Please Remember That I Am Suffering From Any Disorder But That," Concluded The Young Officer With A Smile.   "How Did Yours First Show Itself?"   "I Hardly Know. I Used To Be Subject To Sudden Attacks Of Faintness; But I Am Not Sure That They Had Anything To Do With The Disease Itself."   Just What Maude Was Becoming Subject To! She Had Told Him Of A Fainting-Fit In London; Had Told Him Of Another Now.   "I Suppose The Doctors Warn You Against Sudden Shocks,  Bob?"   "More Than Against Anything. I Am Not To Agitate Myself In The Least; Am Not To Run Or Jump,  Or Fly Into A Temper. They Would Put Me In A Glass Case,  If They Could."   "Well,  We'll See What Skill Can Do For You," Said Hartledon,  Rousing Himself. "I Wonder If A Warmer Climate Would Be Of Service? You Might Have That Without Exertion,  Travelling Slowly."   "Couldn't Afford It," Was The Ingenuous Answer. "I Have Forestalled My Pay As It Is."   Lord Hartledon Smiled. Never A More Generous Disposition Than His; And If Money Could Save This Poor Bob Kirton,  He Should Not Want It.   Walking Forth,  He Strolled Down The Road Towards Calne,  Intending To Ask A Question Or Two Of The Surgeon. Mr. Hillary Was At Home. His House Was At This End Of Calne,  Just Past The Rectory And Opposite The Church,  With A Side View Of Clerk Gum's. The Door Was Open,  And Lord Hartledon Strolled Into The Surgery Unannounced,  To The Surprise Of Mr. Hillary, Who Did Not Know He Was At Calne.   The Surgeon's Opinion Was Not Favourable. Captain Kirton Had Heart-Disease Beyond Any Doubt. His Chest Was Weak Also,  The Lungs Not Over-Sound; Altogether,  The Honourable Robert Kirton's Might Be Called A Bad Life.   "Would A Warmer Climate Do Anything For Him?" Asked Lord Hartledon.   The Surgeon Shrugged His Shoulders. "He Would Be Better There For Some Things Than Here. On The Whole It Might Temporarily Benefit Him."   "Then He Shall Go. And Now,  Hillary,  I Want To Ask You Something Else--And You Must Answer Me,  Mind. Captain Kirton Tells Me The Fact Of His Having Heart-Disease Is Not Mentioned In The House Lest It Should Alarm Lady Hartledon,  And Develop The Same In Her. Is There Any Fear Of This?"   "It Is True That It's Not Spoken Of; But I Don't Think There's Any Foundation For The Fear."   "The Old Dowager's Very Fanciful!" Cried Lord Hartledon,  Resentfully.   "A Queer Old--Girl," Remarked The Surgeon. "Can't Help Saying It,  Though She Is Your Mother-In-Law."   "I Wish She Was Any One Else's! She's As Likely As Not To Let Out Something Of This To Maude In Her Tantrums. But I Don't Believe A Word Of It; I Never Saw The Least Symptom Of Heart-Disease In My Wife."   "Nor I," Said The Doctor. "Of Course I Have Not Examined Her; Neither Have I Had Much Opportunity For Ordinary Observation."   "I Wish You Would Contrive To Get The Latter. Come Up And Call Often; Make Some Excuse For Seeing Lady Hartledon Professionally,  And Watch Her Symptoms."   "I Am Seeing Her Professionally Now; Once Or Twice A Week. She Had One Or Two Fainting-Fits After She Came Down,  And Called Me In."   "Kirton Says He Used To Have Those Fainting-Fits. Are They A Symptom Of Heart-Disease?"   "In Lady Hartledon I Attribute Them Entirely To Her Present State Of Health. I Assure You,  I Don't See The Slightest Cause For Fear As Regards Your Wife's Heart. She Is Of A Calm Temperament Too; As Far As I Can Observe."   They Stood Talking For A Minute At The Door,  When Lord Hartledon Went Out. Pike Happened To Pass On The Other Side Of The Road.   "He Is Here Still,  I See," Remarked Hartledon.   "Oh Dear,  Yes; And Likely To Be."   "I Wonder How The Fellow Picks Up A Living?"   The Surgeon Did Not Answer. "Are You Going To Make A Long Stay With Us?" He Asked.   "A Very Short One. I Suppose You Have Had No Return Of The Fever?"   "Not Any. Calne Never Was More Healthy Than It Is Now. As I Said To Dr. Ashton Yesterday,  But For His Own House I Might Put Up My Shutters And Take A Lengthened Holiday."   "Who Is Ill At The Rectory? Mrs. Ashton?"   "Mrs. Ashton Is Not Strong,  But She's Better Than She Was Last Year. I Have Been More Concerned For Anne Than For Her."   "Is _She_ Ill?" Cried Lord Hartledon,  A Spasm Seizing His Throat.   "Ailing. But It's An Ailing I Do Not Like."   "What's The Cause?" He Rejoined,  Feeling As If Some Other Crime Were About To Be Brought Home To Him.   "That's A Question I Never Inquire Into. I Put It Upon The Air Of The Rectory," Added The Surgeon In Jesting Tones,  "And Tell Them They Ought To Go Away For A Time,  But They Have Been Away Too Much Of Late,  They Say. She's Getting Over It Somewhat,  And I Take Care That She Goes Out And Takes Exercise. What Has It Been? Well,  A Sort Of Inward Fever,  With Flushed Cheeks And Unequal Spirits. It Takes Time For These Things To Be Got Over,  You Know. The Rector Has Been Anything But Well,  Too; He Is Not The Strong,  Healthy Man He Was."   "And All _My_ Work; My Work!" Cried Hartledon To Himself,  Almost Gnashing His Teeth As He Went Back Down The Street. "What _Right_ Had I To Upset The Happiness Of That Family? I Wish It Had Pleased God To Take Me First! My Father Used To Say That Some Men Seem Born Into The World Only To Be A Blight To It; It's What I Have Been,  Heaven Knows."   He Knew Only Too Well That Anne Ashton Was Suffering From The Shock Caused By His Conduct. The Love Of These Quiet,  Sensitive,  Refined Natures,  Once Awakened,  Is Not Given For A Day,  But For All Time; It Becomes A Part Of Existence; And Cannot Be Riven Except By An Effort That Brings Destruction To Even Future Hope Of Happiness. Not Even Mr. Hillary,  Not Even Dr. And Mrs. Ashton,  Could Discern The Utter Misery That Was Anne's Daily Portion. She Strove To Conceal It All. She Went About The House Cheerfully,  Wore A Smiling Face When People Were Present, Dressed Well,  Laughed With Their Guests,  Went About The Parish To Rich And Poor,  And Was Altogether Gay. Ah,  Do You Know What It Is,  This Assumption Of Gaiety When The Heart Is Breaking?--This Dread Fear Lest Those About You Should Detect The Truth? Have _You_ Ever Lived With This Mask Upon Your Face?--Which Can Only Be Thrown Off At Night In The Privacy Of Your Own Chamber,  When You May Abandon Yourself To Your Desolation,  And Pray Heaven To Take You Or Give You Increased Strength To _Live_ And _Bear_? It May Seem A Light Thing,  This State Of Heart That I Am Telling You About; But It Has Killed Both Men And Women,  For All That; And Killed Them In Silence.   Anne Ashton Had Never Complained. She Did Everything She Had Been Used To Doing,  Was Particular About All Her Duties; But A Nervous Cough Attacked Her,  And Her Frame Wasted,  And Her Cheek Grew Hectic. Try As She Would She Could Not Eat: All She Confessed To,  When Questioned By Mrs. Ashton, Was "A Pain In Her Throat;" And Mr. Hillary Was Called In. Anne Laughed: There Was Nothing The Matter With Her,  She Said,  And Her Throat Was Better; She Had Strained It Perhaps. The Doctor Was A Wise Doctor; His Professional Visits Were Spent In Gossip; And As To Medicine,  He Sent Her A Tonic,  And Told Her To Take It Or Not As She Pleased. Only Time,  He Said To Mrs. Ashton--She Would Be All Right In Time; The Summer Heat Was Making Her Languid.   The Summer Heat Had Nearly Passed Now,  And Perhaps Some Of The Battle Was Passing With It. None Knew--Let Me Repeat It--What That Battle Had Been; None Ever Can Know,  Unless They Go Through It Themselves. In Miss Ashton's Case There Was A Feature Some Are Spared--Her Love Had Been Known--And It Increased The Anguish Tenfold. She Would Overcome It If She Could Only Forget Him; But It Would Take Time; And She Would Come Out Of It An Altogether Different Woman,  Her Best Hope In Life Gone,  Her Heart Dead.   "What Brought Him Down Here?" Mentally Questioned Mr. Hillary,  In An Explosion Of Wrath,  As He Watched His Visitor Down The Street. "It Will Undo All I Have Been Doing. He,  And His Wife Too,  Might Have Had The Grace To Keep Away For This Year At Least. I Loved Him Once,  With All His Faults; But I Should Like To See Him In The Pillory Now. It Has Told On Him Also,  If I'm Any Reader Of Looks. And Now,  Miss Anne,  You Go Off From Calne To-Morrow An I Can Prevail. I Only Hope You Won't Come Across Him In The Meantime." Chapter 24 (Under The Trees) It Was The Same Noble-Looking Man Calne Had Ever Known,  As He Went Down The Road,  Throwing A Greeting To One And Another. Lord Hartledon Was Not A Whit Less Attractive Than Val Elster,  Who Had Won Golden Opinions From All. None Would Have Believed That The Cowardly Monster Fear Was For Ever Feasting Upon His Heart.   He Came To A Standstill Opposite The Clerk's House,  Looked At It For A Moment,  As If Deliberating Whether He Should Enter,  And Crossed The Road. The Shades Of Evening Had Begun To Fall Whilst He Talked With The Surgeon. As He Advanced Up The Clerk's Garden,  Some One Came Out Of The House With A Rush And Ran Against Him.   "Take Care," He Lazily Said.   The Girl--It Was No Other Than Miss Rebecca Jones--Shrank Away When She Recognized Her Antagonist. Flying Through The Gate She Rapidly Disappeared Up The Street. Lord Hartledon Reached The House,  And Made His Way In Without Ceremony. At A Table In The Little Parlour Sat The Clerk's Wife,  Presiding At A Solitary Tea-Table By The Light Of A Candle.   "How Are You,  Mrs. Gum?"   She Had Not Heard Him Enter,  And Started At The Salutation. Lord Hartledon Laughed.   "Don't Take Me For A Housebreaker. Your Front-Door Was Open,  And I Came In Without Knocking. Is Your Husband At Home?"   What With Shaking And Curtseying,  Mrs. Gum Could Scarcely Answer. It Was Surprising How A Little Shock Of This Sort,  Or Indeed Of Any Sort,  Would Upset Her. Gum Was Away On Some Business Or Other,  She Replied--Which Caused Their Tea-Hour To Be Delayed--But She Expected Him In Every Moment. Would His Lordship Please To Wait In The Best Parlour,  She Asked, Taking The Candle To Marshal Him Into The State Sitting-Room.   No; His Lordship Would Not Go Into The Best Parlour; He Would Wait Two Or Three Minutes Where He Was,  Provided She Did Not Disturb Herself,  And Went On With Her Tea.   Mrs. Gum Dusted A Large Old-Fashioned Oak Chair With Her Apron; But He Perched Himself On One Of Its Elbows.   "And Now Go On With Your Tea,  Mrs. Gum,  And I'll Look On With All The Envy Of A Thirsty Man."   Mrs. Gum Glanced Up Tremblingly. Might She Dare Offer His Lordship A Cup? She Wouldn't Make So Bold But Tea _Was_ Refreshing To A Parched Throat.   "And Mine's Always Parched," He Returned. "I'll Drink Some With You,  And Thank You For It. It Won't Be The First Time,  Will It?"   "Always Parched!" Remarked Mrs. Gum. "Maybe You've A Touch Of Fever,  My Lord. Many Folk Get It At The Close Of Summer."   Lord Hartledon Sat On,  And Drank His Tea. He Said Well That He Was Always Thirsty,  Though Mrs. Gum's Expression Was The Better One. That Timid Matron,  Overcome By The Honour Accorded Her,  Sat On The Edge Of Her Chair,  Cup In Hand.   "I Want To Ask Your Husband If He Can Give Me A Description Of The Man Who Was Concerned In That Wretched Mutiny On Board The _Morning Star_," Said Lord Hartledon,  Somewhat Abruptly. "I Mean The Ringleader,  Gordon. Why--What's The Matter?"   Mrs. Gum Had Jumped Up From Her Chair And Began Looking About The Room. The Cat,  Or Something Else,  Had "Rubbed Against Her Legs."   No Cat Could Be Found,  And She Sat Down Again,  Her Teeth Chattering. Lord Hartledon Came To The Conclusion That She Was Only Fit For A Lunatic Asylum. Why Did She Keep A Cat,  If Its Fancied Caresses Were To Terrify Her Like That?   "It Was Said,  You Know--At Least It Has Been Always Assumed--That Gordon Did Not Come Back To England," He Continued,  Speaking Openly Of His Business,  Where A More Prudent Man Would Have Kept His Lips Closed. "But I Have Reason To Believe That He Did Come Back,  Mrs. Gum; And I Want To Find Him."   Mrs. Gum Wiped Her Face,  Covered With Drops Of Emotion.   "Gordon Never Did Come Back,  I Am Sure,  Sir," She Said,  Forgetting All About Titles In Her Trepidation.   "You Don't Know That He Did Not. You May Think It; The Public May Think It; What's Of More Moment To Gordon,  The Police May Think It: But You Can't _Know_ It. I Know He Did."   "My Lord,  He Did Not; I Could--I Almost Think I Could Be Upon My Oath He Did Not," She Answered,  Gazing At Lord Hartledon With Frightened Eyes And White Lips,  Which,  To Say The Truth,  Rather Puzzled Him As He Gazed Back From His Perch.   "Will You Tell Me Why You Assert So Confidently That Gordon Did Not Come Back?"   She Could Not Tell,  And She Knew She Could Not.   "I Can't Bear To Hear Him Spoken Of,  My Lord," She Said. "He--We Look Upon Him As My Poor Boy's Murderer," She Broke Off,  With A Sob; "And It Is Not Likely That I Could."   Not Very Logical; But Lord Hartledon Allowed For Confusion Of Ideas Following On Distress Of Mind.   "I Don't Like To Speak About Him Any More Than You Can Like To Hear," He Said Kindly. "Indeed I Am Sorry To Have Grieved You; But If The Man Is In London,  And Can Be Traced--"   "In London!" She Interrupted.   "He Was In London Last Autumn,  As I Believe--Living There."   An Expression Of Relief Passed Over Her Features That Was Quite Perceptible To Lord Hartledon.   "I Should Not Like To Hear Of His Coming Near Us," She Sighed,  Dropping Her Voice To A Whisper. "London: That's Pretty Far Off."   "I Suppose You Are Anxious To Bring Him To Justice,  Mrs. Gum?"   "No,  Sir,  Not Now; Neither Me Nor Gum," Shaking Her Head. "Time Was, Sir--My Lord--That I'd Have Walked Barefoot To See Him Hanged; But The Years Have Gone By; And If Sorrow's Not Dead,  It's Less Keen,  And We'd Be Thankful To Let The Past Rest In Peace. Oh,  My Lord,  _Don't_ Rake Him Up Again!"   The Wild,  Imploring Accents Quite Startled Lord Hartledon.   "You Need Not Fear," He Said,  After A Pause. "I Do Not Care To See Gordon Hanged Either; And Though I Want To Trace His Present Abode--If It Can Be Traced--It Is Not With A View To Injuring Him."   "But We Don't Know His Abode,  My Lord," She Rejoined In Faint Remonstrance.   "I Did Not Suppose You Knew It. All I Want To Ask Your Husband Is,  To Give Me A Description Of Gordon. I Wish To See If It Tallies With--With Some One I Once Knew," He Cautiously Concluded. "Perhaps You Remember What The Man Was Said To Be Like?"   She Put Her Fingers Up To Her Brow,  Leaning Her Elbow On The Table. He Could Not Help Observing How The Hand Shook.   "I Think It Was Said That He Had Red Hair," She Began,  After A Long Pause; "And Was--Tall,  Was It?--Either Tall Or Short; One Of The Two. And His Eyes--His Eyes Were Dark Eyes,  Either Brown Or Blue."   Lord Hartledon Could Not Avoid A Smile. "That's No Description At All."   "My Memory Is Not Over-Good,  My Lord: I Read His Description In The Handbills Offering The Reward; And That's Some Time Ago Now."   "The Handbills!--To Be Sure!" Interrupted Lord Hartledon,  Springing From His Perch. "I Never Thought Of Them; They'll Give Me The Best Description Possible. Do You Know Where--"   The Conference Was Interrupted By The Clerk. He Came In With A Large Book In His Hand; And A Large Dog,  Which Belonged To A Friend,  And Had Followed Him Home. For A Minute Or Two There Was Only Commotion,  For The Dog Was Leaping And Making Friends With Every One. Lord Hartledon Then Said A Few Words Of Explanation,  And The Quiet Demeanour Of The Clerk, As He Calmly Listened,  Was In Marked Contrast To His Wife's Nervous Agitation.   "Might I Inquire Your Lordship's Reasons For Thinking That Gordon Came Back?" He Quietly Asked,  When Lord Hartledon Had Ceased.   "I Cannot Give Them In Detail,  Gum. That He Did Come Back,  There Is No Doubt About Whatever,  Though How He Succeeded In Eluding The Vigilance Of The Police,  Who Were Watching For Him,  Is Curious. His Coming Back, However,  Is Not The Question: I Thought You Might Be Able To Give Me A Close Description Of Him. You Went To Liverpool When The Unfortunate Passengers Arrived There."   But Clerk Gum Was Unable To Give Any Satisfactory Response. No Doubt He Had Heard Enough Of What Gordon Was Like At The Time,  He Observed,  But It Had Passed Out Of His Memory. A Fair Man,  He Thought He Was Described, With Light Hair. He Had Heard Nothing Of Gordon Since; Didn't Want To, If His Lordship Would Excuse His Saying It; Firmly Believed He Was At The Bottom Of The Sea.   Patient,  Respectful,  Apparently Candid,  He Spoke,  Attending His Guest, Hat In Hand,  To The Outer Gate,  When It Pleased Him To Depart. But,  Take It For All In All,  There Remained A Certain Doubtful Feeling In Lord Hartledon's Mind Regarding The Interview; For Some Subtle Discernment Had Whispered To Him That Both Gum And His Wife Could Have Given Him The Description Of Gordon,  And Would Not Do So.   He Turned Slowly Towards Home,  Thinking Of This. As He Passed The Waste Ground And Pike's Shed,  He Cast His Eyes Towards It; A Curl Of Smoke Was Ascending From The Extemporized Chimney,  Still Discernible In The Twilight. It Occurred To Lord Hartledon That This Man,  Who Had The Character Of Being So Lawless,  Had Been Rather Suspiciously Intimate With The Man Gorton. Not That The Intimacy In Itself Was Suspicious; Birds Of A Feather Flocked Together; But The Most Simple And Natural Thing Connected With Gorton Would Have Borne Suspicion To Hartledon's Mind Now.   He Had Barely Passed The Gate When Some Shouting Arose In The Road Behind Him. A Man,  Driving A Cart Recklessly,  Had Almost Come In Contact With Another Cart,  And Some Hard Language Ensued. Lord Hartledon Turned His Head Quickly,  And Just Caught Mr. Pike's Head,  Thrust A Little Over The Top Of The Gate,  Watching Him. Pike Must Have Croue Business Of School,  Or Church,  Or Parish, Which She Assumed Would,  Unless By Her Efforts,  Soon Be At A Deadlock. But Years Will Tell On The Most Vigorous Frames,  And My Lady Looked So Jaded That,  If She Had Fallen In With Mr. Carnegie,  He Would Have Reminded Her,  For Her Health's Sake,  That No Woman Is Indispensable. She Gave Bessie That Sweet Smile Which Was Flattering As A Caress,  And Was About To Pass On When Something Wistful In The Child's Eyes Arrested Her Notice. She Stopped And Asked If There Was Any More News From Woldshire. Bessie's Round Cheeks Were Two Roses As She Replied That Her Grandfather Fairfax Had Come--That He Was _There_ At The Very Moment,  Watching Them From The Churchyard.   "Where?" Said My Lady,  And Turned About To See.   Mr. Fairfax Knew Her. He Descended The Steps,  Came Out At The Lych-Gate, And Met Her. At That Instant The Cast Of His Countenance Reminded Bessie Of Her Cynical Friend Mr. Phipps,  And A Thought Crossed Her Mind That If Lady Latimer Had Not Recognized Her Grandfather And Made A Movement To Speak,  He Would Not Have Challenged Her. It Would Have Seemed A Very Remote Period To Bessie,  But It Did Not Seem So Utterly Out Of Date To Themselves,  That Richard Fairfax In His Adolescence Had Almost Run Mad For Love Of My Lady In Her Teens. She Had Not Reciprocated His Passion, And In A Fit Of Desperation He Had Married His Wife,  The Mother Of His Three Sons. Perhaps The Cool Affection He Had Borne Them All His Life Was The Measure Of His Indifference To That Poor Lady,  And That Indifference The Measure Of His Vindictive Constancy To His First Idol. They Had Not Seen Each Other For Many Years; Their Courses Had Run Far Apart,  And They Had Grown Old. But A Woman Never Quite Forgets To Feel Interested In A Man Who Has Once Worshipped Her,  Though He May Long Since Have Got Up Off His Knees And Gone And Paid His Devotions At Other Shrines. Lady Latimer Had Not Been So Blessed In Her Life And Affections That She Could Afford To Throw Away Even A Flattering Memory. Bessie's Talk Of Her Grandfather Had Brought The Former Things To Her Mind. Her Face Kindled At The Sight Of Her Friend,  And Her Voice Was The Soul Of Kindness. Mr. Fairfax Looked Up And Pitied Her,  And Lost His Likeness To Mr. Phipps. Ambitious,  Greedy Of Power,  Of Rank,  And Riches--Thus And Thus Had He Once Contemned Her; But There Was That Fascinating Smile, And So She Would Charm Him If They Met Some Day In Hades.          *       *       *       *       *   Bessie Went In-Doors To Apprise Her Mother Of The Visitors Who Were At Hand. Mr. Fairfax And Lady Latimer Stood For A Quarter Of An Hour Or Longer In The Shade Of The Churchyard Trees,  Exchanging News,  The Chief News Being The Squire's Business At Beechhurst. Lady Latimer Offered Him Her Advice And Countenance For His Granddaughter,  And Assured Him That Bessie Had Fine Qualities,  Much Simplicity,  And The Promise Of Beauty. Meanwhile Mrs. Carnegie,  Forewarned Of The Impending Interview, Collected Herself And Prepared For It. She Sent Bessie Into The Rarely-Used Drawing-Room To Pull Up The Blinds And Open The Glass Door Upon The Lawn; And,  Further To Occupy The Nervous Moments,  Bade Her Gather A Few Roses For The China Bowl On The Round Table. Bessie Had Just Finished Her Task,  And Was Standing With A Lovely Devoniensis In Her Hand,  When Her Grandfather Appeared,  Supported By Lady Latimer.   Mr. Fairfax Was Received By Mrs. Carnegie With Courtesy,  But Without Effusion. It Was The Anxious Desire Of Her Heart That No Ill-Will Should Arise Because Of Bessie's Restoration. She Was One Of Those Unaffected, Reasonable,  Calm Women Whom Circumstances Rarely Disconcert. Then Her Imagination Was Not Active. She Did Not Pensively Reflect That Here Was Her Once Father-In-Law,  But She Felt Comfortable In The Consciousness That Bessie Had On A Nice Clean Pink Gingham Frock And A Crimped Frill Round Her White Throat,  In Which She Looked As Pretty As She Could Look. Bessie's Light Hair,  Threaded Wit Spoke Of It To Me. I Never Heard Him Say Who Or What He Was; And I Couldn't Speak More Truly If Your Lordship Offered To Give Me The Shed As A Bribe."   "Do You Know Where Gorton Might Be Found At Present?"   "I Swear Before Heaven That I Know Nothing Of The Man,  And Have Never Heard Of Him Since He Went Away," Cried Pike,  With A Burst Of Either Fear Or Passion. "He Was A Stranger To Me When He Came,  And He Was A Stranger When He Left. I Found Out The Little Game He Had Come About,  And Saved Your Lordship From His Clutches,  Which He Doesn't Know To This Day. I Know Nothing Else About Him At All."   "Well,  Good Evening,  Pike. You Need Not Put Yourself Out For Nothing."   He Walked Away,  Taking Leave Of The Man As Civilly As Though He Had Been A Respectable Member Of Society. It Was Not In Val's Nature To Show Discourtesy To Any Living Being. Why Pike Should Have Shrunk From The Questions He Could Not Tell; But That He Did Shrink Was Evident; Perhaps From A Surly Dislike To Being Questioned At All; But On The Whole Lord Hartledon Thought He Had Spoken The Truth As To Knowing Nothing About Gorton.   Crossing The Road,  He Turned Into The Field-Path Near The Rectory; It Was A Little Nearer Than The Road-Way,  And He Was In A Hurry,  For He Had Not Thought To Ask At What Hour His Wife Dined,  And Might Be Keeping Her Waiting.   Who Was This Pike,  He Wondered As He Went Along; As He Had Wondered Before Now. When The Man Was Off His Guard,  The Roughness Of His Speech And Demeanour Was Not So Conspicuous; And The Tone Assumed A Certain Refinement That Seemed To Say He Had Some Time Been In Civilized Society. Again,  How Did He Live? A Tale Was Told In Calne Of Pike's Having Been Disturbed At Supper One Night By A Parcel Of Rude Boys,  Who Had Seen Him Seated At A Luxurious Table; Hot Steak And Pudding Before Him. They Were Not Believed,  Certainly; But Still Pike Must Live; And How Did He Find The Means To Do So? Why Did He Live There At All? What Had Caused Him To Come To Calne? Who--   These Reflections Might Have Lasted All The Way Home But For An Interruption That Drove Every Thought Out Of Lord Hartledon's Mind,  And Sent The Heart's Blood Coursing Swiftly Through His Veins. Turning A Corner Of The Dark Winding Path,  He Came Suddenly Upon A Lady Seated On A Bench,  So Close To The Narrow Path That He Almost Touched Her In Passing. She Seemed To Have Sat Down For A Moment To Do Something To Her Hat, Which Was Lying In Her Lap,  Her Hands Busied With It.   A Faint Cry Escaped Her,  And She Rose Up. It Was Caused Partly By Emotion,  Partly By Surprise At Seeing Him,  For She Did Not Know He Was Within A Hundred Miles Of The Place. And Very Probably She Would Have Liked To Box Her Own Ears For Showing Any. The Hat Fell From Her Knees As She Rose,  And Both Stooped For It.   "Forgive Me," He Said. "I Fear I Have Startled You."   "I Am Waiting For Papa," She Answered,  In Hasty Apology For Being Found There. And Lord Hartledon,  Casting His Eyes Some Considerable Distance Ahead,  Discerned The Indistinct Forms Of Two Persons Talking Together. He Understood The Situation At Once. Dr. Ashton And His Daughter Had Been To The Cottages; And The Doctor Had Halted On Their Return To Speak To A Day-Labourer Going Home From His Work,  Anne Walking Slowly On.   And There They Stood Face To Face,  Anne Ashton And Her Deceitful Lover! How Their Hearts Beat To Pain,  How Utterly Oblivious They Were Of Everything In Life Save Each Other's Presence,  How Tumultuously Confused Were Mind And Manner,  Both Might Remember Afterwards,  But Certainly Were Not Conscious Of Then. It Was A Little Glimpse Of Eden. A Corner Of The Dark Curtain Thrown Between Them Had Been Raised,  And So Unexpectedly That For The Moment Nothing Else Was Discernible In The Dazzling Light.   Forget! Not In That Instant Of Sweet Confusion,  During Which Nothing Seemed More Real Than A Dream. He Was The Husband Of Another; She Was Parted From Him For Ever; And Neither Was Capable Of Deliberate Thought Or Act That Could Intrench On The Position,  Or Tend To Return,  Even Momentarily,  To The Past. And Yet There They Stood With Beating Hearts, And Eyes That Betrayed Their Own Tale--That The Marriage And The Parting Were In One Sense But A Hollow Mockery,  And Their Love Was Indelible As Of Old.   Each Had Been "Forgetting" To The Utmost Of The Poor Power Within,  In Accordance With The High Principles Enshrined In Either Heart. Yet What A Mockery That Forgetting Seemed,  Now That It Was Laid Before Them Naked And Bare! The Heart Turning Sick To Faintness At The Mere Sight Of Each Other,  The Hands Trembling At The Mutual Touch,  The Wistful Eyes Shining With A Glance That Too Surely Spoke Of Undying Love!   But Not A Word Of This Was Spoken. However True Their Hearts Might Be, There Was No Fear Of The Tongue Following Up The Error. Lord Hartledon Would No More Have Allowed Himself To Speak Than She To Listen. Neither Had The Hands Met In Ordinary Salutation; It Was Only When He Resigned The Hat To Her That The Fingers Touched: A Touch Light,  Transient,  Almost Imperceptible; Nevertheless It Sent A Thrill Through The Whole Frame. Not Exactly Knowing What To Do In Her Confusion,  Miss Ashton Sat Down On The Bench Again And Put Her Hat On.   "I Must Say A Word To You Before I Go On My Way," Said Lord Hartledon. "I Have Been Wishing For Such A Meeting As This Ever Since I Saw You At Versailles; And Indeed I Think I Wished For Nothing Else Before It. When You Think Of Me As One Utterly Heartless--"   "Stay,  Lord Hartledon," She Interrupted,  With White Lips. "I Cannot Listen To You. You Must Be Aware That I Cannot,  And Ought Not. What Are You Thinking About?"   "I Know That I Have Forfeited All Right To Ask You; That It Is An Unpardonable Intrusion My Presuming Even To Address You. Well,  Perhaps, You Are Right," He Added,  After A Moment's Pause; "It May Be Better That I Should Not Say What I Was Hoping To Say. It Cannot Mend Existing Things; It Cannot Undo The Past. I Dare Not Ask Your Forgiveness: It Would Seem Too Much Like An Insult; Nevertheless,  I Would Rather Have It Than Any Earthly Gift. Fare You Well,  Anne! I Shall Sometimes Hear Of Your Happiness."   "Have You Been Ill?" She Asked In A Kindly Impulse,  Noticing His Altered Looks In That First Calm Moment.   "No--Not As The World Counts Illness. If Remorse And Shame And Repentance Can Be Called Illness,  I Have My Share. Ill Deeds Of More Kinds Than One Are Coming Home To Me. Anne," He Added In A Hoarse Whisper; His Face Telling Of Emotion,  "If There Is One Illumined Corner In My Heart,  Where All Else Is Very Dark,  It Is Caused By Thankfulness To Heaven That You Were Spared."   "Spared!" She Echoed,  In Wonder,  So Completely Awed By His Strange Manner As To Forget Her Reserve.   "Spared The Linking Of Your Name With Mine. I Thank God For It,  For Your Sake,  Night And Day. Had Trouble Fallen On You Through Me,  I Don't Think I Could Have Survived It. May You Be Shielded From All Such For Ever!"   He Turned Abruptly Away,  And She Looked After Him,  Her Heart Beating A Great Deal Faster Than It Ought To Have Done.   That She Was His Best And Dearest Love,  In Spite Of His Marriage,  It Was Impossible Not To See; And She Strove To Think Him Very Wicked For It,  And Her Cheek Was Red With A Feeling That Seemed Akin To Shame. But--Trouble?--Thankful For Her Sake,  Night And Day,  That Her Name Was Not Linked With His? He Must Allude To Debt,  She Supposed: Some Of Those Old Embarrassments Had Augmented Themselves Into Burdens Too Heavy To Be Safely Borne.   The Rector Was Coming On Now At A Swift Pace. He Looked Keenly At Lord Hartledon; Looked Twice,  As If In Surprise. A Flush Rose To Val's Sensitive Face As He Passed,  And Lifted His Hat. The Rector,  Dark And Proud,  Condescended To Return The Courtesy: And The Meeting Was Over.   Toiling Across Lord Hartledon's Path Was The Labourer To Whom The Rector Had Been Speaking. He Had An Empty Bottle Slung Over His Shoulder,  And Carried A Sickle. The Man's Day's Work Was Over,  And Had Left Fatigue Behind It.   "Good-Night To Your Lordship!"   "Is It You,  Ripper?"   He Was The Father Of The Young Gentleman In The Cart,  Whom Mr. Pike Had Not Long Before Treated To His Opinion: Young David Ripper,  The Miller's Boy. Old Ripper,  A Talkative,  Discontented Man,  Stopped And Ventured To Enter On His Grievances. His Wife Had Been Pledging Things To Pay For A Fine Gown She Had Bought; His Two Girls Were Down With Measles; His Son,  Young Rip,  Plagued His Life Out.   "How Does He Plague Your Life Out?" Asked Lord Hartledon,  When He Had Listened Patiently.   "Saying He'll Go Off And Enlist For A Soldier,  My Lord; He's Saying It Always: And Means It Too,  Only He's Over-Young For't."   "Over-Young For It; I Should Think So. Why,  He's Not Much More Than A Child. Our Sergeants Don't Enlist Little Boys."   "Sometimes He Says He'll Drown Himself By Way Of A Change," Returned Old Ripper.   "Oh,  Does He? Folk Who Say It Never Do It. I Should Whip It Out Of Him."   "He's Never Been The Same Since The Lord's Death That Time. He's Always Frightened: Gets Fancying Things,  And Saying Sometimes He Sees His Shadder."   "Whose Shadow?"   "His'n: The Late Lord's."   "Why Does He Fancy That?" Came The Question,  After A Perceptible Pause.   Old Ripper Shook His Head. It Was Beyond His Ken,  He Said. "There Be Only Two Things He's Afeared Of In Life," Continued The Man,  Who,  Though Generally Called Old Ripper,  Was Not Above Five-And-Thirty. "The One's That Wild Man Pike; T'other's The Shadder. He'd Run Ten Mile Sooner Than See Either."   "Does Pike Annoy The Boy?"   "Never Spoke To Him,  As I Knows On,  My Lord. Afore That Drowning Of His Lordship Last Year,  Davy Was The Boldest Rip Going," Added The Man,  Who Had Long Since Fallen Into The Epithet Popularly Applied To His Son. "Since Then He Don't Dare Say His Soul's His Own. We Had Him Laid Up Before The Winter,  And I Know 'Twas Nothing But Fear."   Lord Hartledon Could Not Make Much Of The Story,  And Had No Time To Linger. Administering A Word Of General Encouragement,  He Continued His Way,  His Thoughts Going Back To The Interview With Anne Ashton,  A Line Or Two Of Longfellow's "Fire Of Driftwood" Rising Up In His Mind--     "Of What Had Been And Might Have Been,   And Who Was Changed,  And Who Was Dead."   Chapter 25 (A Tete A Tete Breakfast) The Dowager-Countess Of Kirton Stood In The Sunny Breakfast-Room At Hartledon,  Surveying The Well-Spread Table With Complacency; For It Appeared To Be Rather More Elaborately Set Out Than Usual,  And No One Loved Good Cheer Better Than She. When She Saw Two Cups And Saucers On The Cloth Instead Of One,  It Occurred To Her That Maude Must,  By Caprice, Be Coming Down,  Which She Had Not Done Of Late. The Dowager Had Arrived At Midnight From Garchester,  In Consequence Of Having Missed The Earlier Train,  And Found Nearly All The House In Retirement. She Was In A Furious Humour,  And No One Had Told Her Of The Arrival Of Her Son-In-Law; No One Ever Did Tell Her Any More Than They Were Obliged To Do; For She Was Not Held In Estimation At Hartledon.   "Potted Tongue," She Exclaimed,  Dodging Round The Table,  And Lifting Various Covers. "Raised Pie; I Wonder What's In It? And What's That Stuff In Jelly? It Looks Delicious. This Is The Result Of The Blowing-Up I Gave Hedges The Other Day; Nothing Like Finding Fault. Hot Dishes Too. I Suppose Maude Gave Out That She Should Be Down This Morning. All Rubbish, Fancying Herself Ill: She's As Well As I Am,  But Gives Way Like A Sim--A-A-A-Ah!"   The Exclamation Was Caused By The Unexpected Vision Of Lord Hartledon.   "How Are You,  Lady Kirton?"   "Where On Earth Did You Spring From?"   "From My Room."   "What's The Good Of Your Appearing Before People Like A Ghost,  Hartledon? When Did You Arrive?"   "Yesterday Afternoon."   "And Time You Did,  I Think,  With Your Poor Wife Fretting Herself To Death About You. How Is She This Morning?"   "Very Well."   "Ugh!" You Must Imagine This Sound As Something Between A Grunt And A Groan,  That The Estimable Lady Gave Vent To Whenever Put Out. It Is Not Capable Of Being Written. "You Might Have Sent Word You Were Coming. I Should Think You Frightened Your Wife To Death."   "Not Quite."   He Walked Across The Room And Rang The Bell. Hedges Appeared. It Had Been The Dowager's Pleasure That No One Else Should Serve Her At That Meal--Perhaps On Account Of Her Peculiarities Of Costume.   "Will You Be Good Enough To Pour Out The Coffee In Maude's Place To-Day, Lady Kirton? She Has Promised To Be Down Another Morning."   It Was Making Her So Entirely And Intentionally A Guest,  As She Thought, That Lady Kirton Did Not Like It. Not Only Did She Fully Intend Hartledon House To Be Her Home,  But She Meant To Be Its One Ruling Power. Keep Maude Just Now To Her Invalid Fancies,  And Later To Her Gay Life,  And There Would Be Little Fear Of Her Asserting Very Much Authority.   "Are You In The Habit Of Serving This Sort Of Breakfast,  Hedges?" Asked Lord Hartledon; For The Board Looked Almost Like An Elaborate Dinner.   "We Have Made Some Difference,  My Lord,  This Morning."   "For Me,  I Suppose. You Need Not Do So In Future. I Have Got Out Of The Habit Of Taking Breakfast; And In Any Case I Don't Want This Unnecessary Display. Captain Kirton Gets Up Later,  I Presume."   "He's Hardly Ever Up Before Eleven," Said Hedges. "But He Makes A Good Breakfast,  My Lord."   "That's Right. Tempt Him With Any Delicacy You Can Devise. He Wants Strength."   The Dowager Was Fuming. "Don't You Think I'm Capable Of Regulating These Things,  Hartledon,  I'd Beg Leave To Ask?"   "No Doubt. I Beg You Will Make Yourself At Home Whilst You Stay With Us. Some Tea,  Hedges."   She Could Have Thrown The Coffee-Pot At Him. There Was Incipient Defiance In His Every Movement; Latent War In His Tones. He Was No Longer The Puppet He Had Been; That Day Had Gone By For Ever.   Perhaps Val Could Not Himself Have Explained The Feeling That Was This Morning At Work Within Him. It Was The First Time He And The Dowager Had Met Since The Marriage,  And She Brought Before Him All Too Prominently The Ill-Omened Past: Her Unjustifiable Scheming--His Own Miserable Weakness. If Ever Lord Hartledon Felt Shame And Repentance For His Weak Yielding,  He Felt It Now--Felt It In All Its Bitterness; And Something Very Like Rage Against The Dowager Was Bubbling Up In His Spirit,  Which He Had Some Trouble To Suppress.   He Did Suppress It,  However,  Though It Rendered Him Less Courteous Than Usual; And The Meal Proceeded Partly In Silence; An Interchanged Word, Civil On The Surface,  Passing Now And Then. The Dowager Thoroughly Entered Into Her Breakfast,  And Had Little Leisure For Anything Else.   "What Makes You Take Nothing?" She Asked,  Perceiving At Length That He Had Only A Piece Of Toast On His Plate,  And Was Playing With That.   "I Have No Appetite."   "Have You Left Off Taking Breakfast?"   "To A Great Extent."   "What's The Matter With You?"   Lord Hartledon Slightly Raised His Eyebrows. "One Can't Eat Much In The Heat Of Summer."   "Heat Of Summer! It's Nothing More Than Autumn Now. And You Are As Thin As A Weasel. Try Some Of That Excellent Raised Pie."   "Pray Let My Appetite Alone,  Lady Kirton. If I Wanted Anything I Should Take It."   "Let You Alone! Yes,  Of Course! You Don't Want It Noticed That You Are Out Of Sorts," Snapped The Dowager. "Oh,  _I_ Know The Signs. You've Been Raking About London--That's What You've Been At."   The "Raking About London" Presented So Complete A Contrast To The Lonely Life He Had Really Passed,  That Hartledon Smiled In Very Bitterness. And The Smile Incensed The Dowager,  For She Misunderstood It.   "It's Early Days To Begin! I Don't Think You Ought To Have Married Maude."   "I Don't Think I Ought."   She Did Not Expect The Rejoinder,  And Dropped Her Knife And Fork. "Why _Did_ You Marry Her?"   "Perhaps You Can Tell That Better Than I."   The Countess-Dowager Pushed Up Her Hair.   "Are You Going To Throw Off The Mask Outright,  And Become A Bad Husband As Well As A Neglectful One?"   Val Rose From His Seat And Went To The Window,  Which Opened To The Ground. He Did Not Wish To Quarrel With Her If He Could Help It. Lady Kirton Raised Her Voice.   "Staying Away,  As You Have,  In London,  And Leaving Maude Here To Pine Alone."   "Business Kept Me In London."   "I Dare Say It Did!" Cried The Wrathful Dowager. "If Maude Died Of Ennui, You Wouldn't Care. She Can't Go About Much Herself Just Now,  Poor Thing! I Do Wish Edward Had Lived."   "I Wish He Had,  With All My Heart!" Came The Answer; And The Tone Struck Surprise On The Dowager's Ear--It Was So Full Of Pain. "Maude's Coming To Hartledon Without Me Was Her Own Doing," He Remarked. "I Wished Her Not To Come."   "I Dare Say You Did,  As Her Heart Was Set Upon It. The Fact Of Her Wishing To Do A Thing Would Be The Signal For Your Opposing It; I've Gathered That Much. My Advice To Maude Is,  To Assert Her Own Will, Irrespective Of Yours."   "Don't You Think,  Lady Kirton,  That It May Be As Well If You Let Me And My Wife Alone? We Shall Get Along,  No Doubt,  Without Interference; _With_ Interference We Might Not Do So."   What With One Thing And Another,  The Dowager's Temper Was Inflammable That Morning; And When It Reached That Undesirable State She Was Apt To Say Pretty Free Things,  Even For Her.   "Edward Would Have Made Her The Better Husband."   "But She Didn't Like Him,  You Know!" He Returned,  His Eyes Flashing With The Remembrance Of An Old Thought; And The Countess-Dowager Took The Sentence Literally,  And Not Ironically.   "Not Like Him. If You Had Had Any Eyes As Val Elster,  You'd Have Seen Whether She Liked Him Or Not. She Was Dying For Him--Not For You."   He Made No Reply. It Was Only What He Had Suspected,  In A Half-Doubting Sort Of Way,  At The Time. A Little Spaniel,  Belonging To One Of The Gardeners,  Ran Up And Licked His Hand.   "The Time That I Had Of It!" Continued The Dowager. "But For Me,  Maude Never Would Have Been Forced Into Having You. And She _Shouldn't_ Have Had You If I'd Thought You Were Going To Turn Out Like This."   He Wheeled Round And Faced Her; His Pale Face Working With Emotion,  But His Voice Subdued To Calmness. Lady Kirton's Last Words Halted,  For His Look Startled Even Her In Its Resolute Sternness.   "To What End Are You Saying This,  Madam? You Know Perfectly Well That You Almost Moved Heaven And Earth To Get Me: _You_,  I Say; I Prefer To Leave My Wife's Name Out Of This: And I Fell Into The Snare. I Have Not Complained Of My Bargain; So Far As I Know,  Maude Has Not Done So: But If It Be Otherwise--If She And You Repent Of The Union,  I Am Willing To Dissolve It,  As Far As It Can Be Dissolved,  And To Institute Measures For Living Apart."   Never,  Never Had She Suspected It Would Come To This. She Sat Staring At Him,  Her Eyes Round,  Her Mouth Open: Scarcely Believing The Calm Resolute Man Before Her Could Be The Once Vacillating Val Elster.   "Listen Whilst I Speak A Word Of Truth," He Said,  His Eyes Bent On Her With A Strange Fire That,  If It Told Of Undisguised Earnestness,  Told Also Of Inward Fever. "I Married Your Daughter,  And I Am Ready And Willing To Do My Duty By Her In All Honour,  As I Have Done It Since The Day Of The Marriage. Whatever My Follies May Have Been As A Young Man,  I Am At Least Incapable Of Wronging My Wife As A Married One. _She_ Has Had No Cause To Complain Of Want Of Affection,  But--"   "Oh,  What A Hypocrite!" Interrupted The Dowager,  With A Shriek. "And All The Time You've Left Her Here Neglected,  While You Were Taking Your Amusement In London! You've Been Dinner-Giving And Richmond-Going,  And Theatre-Frequenting,  And Card-Playing,  And Race-Horsing--And I Shouldn't Wonder But You've Been Cock-Fighting,  And A Hundred Other Things As Disreputable,  And Have Come Down Here Worn To A Skeleton!"   "But If She Is Discontented,  If She Does Not Care For Me,  As You Would Seem To Intimate," He Resumed,  Passing Over The Attack Without Notice; "In Short,  If Maude Would Be Happier Without Me,  I Am Quite Willing, As I Have Just Said,  To Relieve Her Of Her Distasteful Husband."   "Of All The Wicked Plotters,  You Must Be The Worst! My Darling Unoffending Maude! A Divorce For Her!"   "We Are Neither Of Us Eligible For A Divorce," He Coolly Rejoined. "A Separation Alone Is Open To Us,  And That An Amicable One. Should It Come To It,  Every Possible Provision Can Be Made For Your Daughter's Comfort; She Shall Retain This Home; She Shall Have,  If She Wishes,  A Town-House; I Will Deny Her Nothing."   Lady Kirton Rubbed Her Face Carefully With Her Handkerchief. Not Until This Moment Had She Believed Him To Be In Earnest,  And The Conviction Frightened Her.   "Why Do You Wish To Separate From Her?" She Asked,  In A Subdued Tone.   "I Do Not Wish It. I Said I Was Willing To Do So If She Wished It. You Have Been Taking Pains To Convince Me That Maude's Love Was Not Mine, That She Was Only Forced Into The Marriage With Me. Should This Have Been The Case,  I Must Be Distasteful To Her Still; An Encumbrance She May Wish To Get Rid Of."   The Countess-Dowager Had Overshot Her Mark,  And Saw It.   "Oh Well! Perhaps I Was Mistaken About The Past," She Said,  Staring At Him Very Hard,  And In A Sort Of Defiance. "Maude Was Always Very Close. If You Said Anything About Separation Now,  I Dare Say It Would Kill Her. My Belief Is,  She Does Care For You,  And A Great Deal More Than You Deserve."   "It May Be Better To Ascertain The Truth From Maude--"   "You Won't Say A Syllable To Her!" Cried The Dowager,  Starting Up In Terror. "She'd Never Forgive Me; She'd Turn Me Out Of The House. Hartledon,  _Promise_ You Won't Say A Word To Her."   He Stood Back Against The Window,  Never Speaking.   "She Does Love You; But I Thought I'd Frighten You,  For You Had No Right To Send Maude Home Alone; And It Made Me Very Cross,  Because I Saw How She Felt It. Separation Indeed! What Can You Be Thinking Of?"   He Was Thinking Of A Great Deal,  No Doubt; And His Thoughts Were As Bitter As They Could Well Be. He Did Not Wish To Separate; Come What Might,  He Felt His Place Should Be By His Wife's Side As Long As Circumstances Permitted It.   "Let Me Give You A Word Of Warning,  Lady Kirton. I And My Wife Will Be Happy Enough Together,  I Daresay,  If We Are Allowed To Be; But The Style Of Conversation You Have Just Adopted To Me Will Not Conduce To It; It Might Retaliate On Maude,  You See. Do Not Again Attempt It."   "How You Have Changed!" Was Her Involuntary Remark.   "Yes; I Am Not The Yielding Boy I Was. And Now I Wish To Speak Of Your Son. He Seems Very Ill."   "A Troublesome Intruding Fellow,  Why Can't He Keep His Ailments To His Own Barracks?" Was The Wrathful Rejoinder. "I Told Maude I Wouldn't Have Him Here,  And What Does She Do But Write Off And Tell Him To Come! I Don't Like Sick Folk About Me,  And Never Did. What Do _You_ Want?"   The Last Question Was Addressed To Hedges,  Who Had Come In Unsummoned. It Was Only A Letter For His Master. Lord Hartledon Took It As A Welcome Interruption,  Went Outside,  And Sat Down On A Garden-Seat At A Distance. How He Hated The Style Of Attack Just Made On Him; The Style Of The Dowager Altogether! He Asked Himself In What Manner He Could Avoid This For The Future. It Was A Debasing,  Lowering Occurrence,  And He Felt Sure That It Could Hardly Have Taken Place In His Servants' Hall. But He Was Glad He Had Said What He Did About The Separation. It Might Grieve Him To Part From His Wife,  But Mr. Carr Had Warned Him That He Ought To Do It. Certainly,  If She Disliked Him So Very Much--If She Forced It Upon Him--Why,  Then,  It Would Be An Easier Task; But He Felt Sure She Did Not Dislike Him. If She Had Done So Before Marriage,  She Had Learnt To Like Him Now; And He Believed That The Bare Mention Of Parting Would Shock Her; And So--His Duty Seemed To Lie In Remaining By Her Side.   He Held The Letter In His Hand For Some Minutes Before He Opened It. The Handwriting Warned Him That It Was From Mr. Carr,  And He Knew That No Pleasant News Could Be In It. In Fact,  He Had Placed Himself In So Unsatisfactory A Position As To Render Anything But Bad News Next Door To An Impossibility.   It Contained Only A Few Lines--A Word Of Caution Mr. Carr Had Forgotten To Speak When He Took Leave Of Lord Hartledon The Previous Morning. "Let Me Advise You Not To Say Anything To Those People--Gum,  I Think The Name Is--About G.G. It Might Not Be Altogether Prudent For You To Do So. Should You Remain Any Time At Hartledon,  I Will Come Down For A Few Days And Question For Myself."   "I've Done It Already," Thought Val,  As He Folded The Letter And Returned It To His Pocket. "As To My Staying Any Time At Hartledon--Not If I Know It."   Looking Up At The Sound Of Footsteps,  He Saw Hedges Approaching. Never Free From A Certain Apprehension When Any Unexpected Interruption Occurred--An Apprehension That Turned His Heart Sick,  And Set His Pulses Beating--He Waited,  Outwardly Very Calm.   "Floyd Has Called,  My Lord,  And Is Asking To See You. He Seems Rather--Rather Concerned And Put Out. I Think It's Something About--About The Death Last Summer."   Hedges Hardly Knew How To Frame His Words,  And Lord Hartledon Stared At Him.   "Floyd Can Come To Me Here," He Said.   The Miller Soon Made His Appearance,  Carrying A Small Case Half Purse, Half Pocket-Book,  In His Hand,  Made Of Russian Leather,  With Rims Of Gold. Val Knew It In A Moment,  In Spite Of Its Marks Of Defacement.   "Do You Recognize It,  My Lord?" Asked The Miller.   "Yes,  I Do," Replied Lord Hartledon. "It Belonged To My Brother."   "I Thought So," Returned The Miller. "On The Very Day Before That Unfortunate Race Last Year,  His Lordship Was Talking To Me,  And Had This In His Hand. I Felt Sure It Was The Same The Moment I Saw It."   "He Had It With Him The Day Of The Race," Observed Lord Hartledon. "Mr. Carteret Said He Saw It Lying In The Boat When They Started. We Always Thought It Had Been Lost In The River. Where Did You Find It?"   "Well,  It's Very Odd,  My Lord,  But I Found It Buried."   "Buried!"   "Buried In The Ground,  Not Far From The River,  Alongside The Path That Leads From Where His Lordship Was Found To Hartledon. I Was Getting Up Some Dandelion Roots For My Wife This Morning Early,  And Dug Up This Close To One. There's Where The Knife Touched It. My Lord," Added The Miller,  "I Beg To Say That I Have Not Opened It. I Wiped It,  Wrapped It In Paper,  And Said Nothing To Anybody,  But Came Here With It As Soon As I Thought You'd Be Up. That Lad Of Mine,  Ripper,  Said Last Night You Were At Hartledon."   The Miller Was Quite Honest; And Lord Hartledon Knew That When He Said He Had Not Opened It,  He Had Not Done So. It Still Contained Some Small Memoranda In His Brother's Writing,  But No Money; And This Was Noticeable,  Since It Was Quite Certain To Have Had Money In It On That Day.   "Those Who Buried It Might Have Taken It Out," He Observed,  Following The Bent Of His Thoughts.   "But Who Did Bury It; And Where Did They Find It,  To Allow Of Their Burying It?" Questioned The Miller. "How Did They Come By It?--That's The Odd Thing. I Am Certain It Was Not In The Skiff,  For I Searched That Over Myself."   Lord Hartledon Said Little. He Could Not Understand It; And The Incident, With The Slips Of Paper,  Was Bringing His Brother All Too Palpably Before Him. One Of Them Had Concerned Himself,  Though In What Manner He Would Never Know Now. It Ran As Follows: "Not To Forget Val." Poor Fellow! Poor Lord Hartledon!   "Would Your Lordship Like To Come And See The Spot Where I Found It?" Asked The Miller.   Lord Hartledon Said He Should,  And Would Go In The Course Of The Day; And Floyd Took His Departure. Val Sat On For A Time Where He Was,  And Then Went In,  Locked Up The Damp Case With Its Tarnished Rims,  And Went On To The Presence Of His Wife.   She Was Dressed Now,  But Had Not Left Her Bedroom. It Was Evident That She Meant To Be Kind And Pleasant With Him; Different From What She Had Been,  For She Smiled,  And Began A Little Apology For Her Tardiness, Saying She Would Get Up To Breakfast In Future.   He Motioned Her Back To Her Seat On The Sofa Before The Open Window,  And Sat Down Near Her. His Face Was Grave; She Thought She Had Never Seen It So Much So--Grave And Firm,  And His Voice Was Grave Too,  But Had A Kindly Tone In It. He Took Both Her Hands Between His As He Spoke; Not So Much, It Seemed In Affection,  As To Impress Solemnity Upon Her.   "Maude,  I'm Going To Ask You A Question,  And I Beg You To Answer Me As Truthfully As You Could Answer Heaven. Have You Any Wish That We Should Live Apart From Each Other?"   "I Do Not Understand You," She Answered,  After A Pause,  During Which A Flush Of Surprise Or Emotion Spread Itself Gradually Over Her Face.   "Nay,  The Question Is Plain. Have You Any Wish To Separate From Me?"   "I Never Thought Of Such A Thing. Separate From You! What Can You Mean?"   "Your Mother Has Dropped A Hint That You Have Not Been Happy With Me. I Could Almost Understand Her To Imply That You Have A Positive Dislike To Me. She Sought To Explain Her Words Away,  But Certainly Spoke Them. Is It So,  Maude? I Fancied Something Of The Sort Myself In The Earlier Days Of Our Marriage."   He Turned His Head Sharply At A Sudden Sound,  But It Was Only The French Clock On The Mantelpiece Striking Eleven.   "Because," He Resumed,  Having Waited In Vain For An Answer,  "If Such Should Really Be Your Wish,  I Will Accede To It. I Desire Your Comfort, Your Happiness Beyond Any Earthly Thing; And If Living Apart From Me Would Promote It,  I Will Sacrifice My Own Feelings,  And You Shall Not Hear A Murmur. I Would Sacrifice My Life For You."   She Burst Into Tears. "Are You Speaking At All For Yourself? Do You Wish This?" She Murmured.   "No."   "Then How Can You Be So Cruel?"   "I Should Have Thought It Unjustifiably Cruel,  But That It Has Been Suggested To Me. Tell Me The Truth,  Maude."   Maude Was Turning Sick With Apprehension. She Had Begun To Like Her Husband During The Latter Part Of Their Sojourn In London; Had Missed Him Terribly During This Long Period Of Lonely Ennui At Hartledon; And His Tender Kindness To Her For The Past Few Fleeting Hours Of This Their Meeting Had Seemed Like Heaven As Compared With The Solitary Past. Her Whole Heart Was In Her Words As She Answered:   "When We First Married I Did Not Care For You; I Almost Think I Did Not Like You. Everything Was New To Me,  And I Felt As One In An Unknown Sea. But It Wore Off; And If You Only Knew How I Have Thought Of You,  And Wished For You Here,  You Would Never Have Said Anything So Cruel. You Are My Husband,  And You Cannot Put Me From You. Percival,  Promise Me That You Will Never Hint At This Again!"   He Bent And Kissed Her. His Course Lay Plain Before Him; And If An Ugly Mountain Rose Up Before His Mind's Eye,  Shadowing Forth Not Voluntary But Forced Separation,  He Would Not Look At It In That Moment.   "What Could Mamma Mean?" She Asked. "I Shall Ask Her."   "Maude,  Oblige Me By Saying Nothing About It. I Have Already Warned Lady Kirton That It Must Not Be Repeated; And I Am Sure It Will Not Be. I Wish You Would Also Oblige Me In Another Matter."   "In Anything," She Eagerly Said,  Raising Her Tearful Eyes To His. "Ask Me Anything."   "I Intend To Take Your Brother To The Warmest Seaside Place England Can Boast Of,  At Once; To-Day Or To-Morrow. The Sea-Air May Do Me Good Also. I Want That,  Or Something Else," He Added; His Tone Assuming A Sad Weariness As He Remembered How Futile Any "Sea-Air" Would Be For A Mind Diseased. "Won't You Go With Us,  Maude?"   "Oh Yes,  Gladly! I Will Go With You Anywhere."   He Left Her To Proceed To Captain Kirton's Room,  Thinking That He And His Wife Might Have Been Happy Together Yet,  But For That One Awful Shadow Of The Past,  Which She Did Not Know Anything About; And He Prayed She Never Might Know.   But After All,  It Would Have Been A Very Moonlight Sort Of Happiness. Chapter 26 (Once More)   The Months Rolled On,  And Lord And Lady Hartledon Did Not Separate. They Remained Together,  And Were,  So Far,  Happy Enough--The Moonlight Happiness Hinted At; And It Is As I Believe,  The Best And Calmest Sort Of Happiness For Married Life. Maude's Temper Was Unequal,  And He Was Subject To Prolonged Hours Of Sadness. But The Time Went Lightly Enough Over Their Heads,  For All The World Saw,  As It Goes Over The Heads Of Most People.   And Lord Hartledon Was A Free Man Still,  And Stood Well With The World. Whatever The Mysterious Accusation Brought Against Him Had Been,  It Produced No Noisy Effects As Yet; In Popular Phrase,  It Had Come To Nothing. As Yet; Always As Yet. Whether He Had Shot A Man,  Or Robbed A Bank,  Or Fired A Church,  The Incipient Accusation Died Away. But The Fear,  Let It Be Of What Nature It Would,  Never Died Away In His Mind; And He Lived As A Man With A Sword Suspended Over His Head. Moreover, The Sword,  In His Own Imagination,  Was Slipping Gradually From Its Fastenings; His Days Were Restless,  His Nights Sleepless,  An Inward Fever For Ever Consumed Him.   As None Knew Better Than Thomas Carr. There Were Two Witnesses Who Could Bring The Facts Home To Lord Hartledon; And,  So Far As Was Known,  Only Two: The Stranger,  Who Had Paid Him A Visit,  And The Man Gordon,  Or Gorton. The Latter Was The More Dangerous; And They Had Not Yet Been Able To Trace Him. Mr. Carr's Friend,  Detective Green,  Had Furnished That Gentleman With A Descriptive Bill Of Gordon Of The Mutiny: "A Young, Slight Man,  With Light Eyes And Fair Hair." This Did Not Answer Exactly To The Gorton Who Had Played His Part At Calne; But Then,  In Regard To The Latter,  There Remained The Suspicion That The Red Hair Was False. Whether It Was The Same Man Or Whether It Was Two Men--If The Phrase May Be Allowed--Neither Of Them,  To Use Detective Green's Expressive Words, Turned Up. And Thus The Months Had Passed On,  With Nothing Special To Mark Them. Captain Kirton Had Been Conveyed Abroad For The Winter,  And They Had Good News Of Him; And The Countess-Dowager Was Inflicting A Visit Upon One Of Her Married Daughters In Germany,  The Baroness With The Unpronounceable Name.   And The Matter Had Nearly Faded From The Mind Of Lady Hartledon. It Would Quite Have Faded,  But For Certain Interviews With Thomas Carr At His Chambers,  When Hartledon's Look Of Care Precluded The Idea That They Could Be Visits Of Mere Idleness Or Pleasure; And For The Secret Trouble That Unmistakably Sat On Her Husband Like An Incubus. At Times He Would Moan In His Sleep As One In Pain; But If Told Of This,  Had Always Some Laughing Answer Ready For Her--He Had Dreamed He Was Fighting A Lion Or Being Tossed By A Bull.   This Was The Pleasantest Phase Of Lady Hartledon's Married Life. Her Health Did Not Allow Of Her Entering Into Gaiety; And She And Her Husband Passed Their Time Happily Together. All Her Worst Qualities Seemed To Have Left Her,  Or To Be Dormant; She Was Yielding And Gentle; Her Beauty Had Never Been So Great As Now That It Was Subdued; Her Languor Was An Attraction,  Her Care To Please Being Genuine; And They Were Sufficiently Happy. They Were In Their Town-House Now,  Not Having Gone Back To Hartledon. A Large,  Handsome House,  Very Different From The Hired One They Had First Occupied.   In January The Baby Was Born; And Maude's Eyes Glistened With Tears Of Delight Because It Was A Boy: A Little Heir To The Broad Lands Of Hartledon. She Was Very Well,  And It Seemed That She Could Never Tire Of Fondling Her Child.   But In The First Few Days Succeeding That Of The Birth A Strange Fancy Took Possession Of Her: She Observed,  Or Thought She Observed,  That Her Husband Did Not Seem To Care For The Child. He Did Not Caress It; She Once Heard Him Sighing Over It; And He Never Announced It In The Newspapers. Other Infants,  Heirs Especially,  Could Be Made Known To The World,  But Not Hers. The Omission Might Never Have Come To Her Knowledge, Since At First She Was Not Allowed To See Newspapers,  But For A Letter From The Countess-Dowager. The Lady Wrote In A High State Of Wrath From Germany; She Had Looked Every Day For Ten Days In The _Times_,  And Saw No Chronicle Of The Happy Event; And She Demanded The Reason. It Afforded A Valve For Her Temper,  Which Had Been In An Explosive State For Some Time Against Lord Hartledon,  That Ungracious Son-In-Law Having Actually Forbidden Her His House Until Maude's Illness Should Be Over; Telling Her Plainly That He Would Not Have His Wife Worried. Lady Hartledon Said Nothing For A Day Or Two; She Was Watching Her Husband; Watching For Signs Of The Fancy Which Had Taken Possession Of Her.   He Was In Her Room One Dark Afternoon,  Standing With His Elbow On The Mantelpiece Whilst He Talked To Her: A Room Of Luxury And Comfort It Must Have Been Almost A Pleasure To Be Ill In. Lady Hartledon Had Been Allowed To Get Up,  And Sit In An Easy-Chair: She Seemed To Be Growing Strong Rapidly; And The Little Red Gentleman In The Cradle,  Sleeping Quietly, Was Fifteen Days Old.   "About His Name,  Percival; What Is It To Be?" She Asked. "Your Own?"   "No,  No,  Not Mine," Said He,  Quickly; "I Never Liked Mine. Choose Some Other,  Maude."   "What Do You Wish It To Be?"   "Anything."   The Short Answer Did Not Please The Young Mother; Neither Did The Dreamy Tone In Which It Was Spoken. "Don't You Care What It Is?" She Asked Rather Plaintively.   "Not Much,  For Myself. I Wish It To Be Anything You Shall Choose."   "I Thought Perhaps You Would Have Liked It Named After Your Brother," She Said,  Very Much Offended On The Baby's Account.   "George?"   "George,  No. I Never Knew George; I Should Not Be Likely To Think Of Him. Edward."   Lord Hartledon Looked At The Fire,  Absently Pushing Back His Hair. "Yes, Let It Be Edward. It Will Do As Well As Anything Else."   "Good Gracious,  Percival,  One Would Think You Had Been Having Babies All Your Life!" She Exclaimed Resentfully. "'Do As Well As Anything Else!' If He Were Our Tenth Son,  Instead Of Our First,  You Could Not Treat It With More Indifference. I Have Done Nothing But Deliberate On The Name Since He Was Born; And I Don't Believe You Have Once Given It A Thought."   Lord Hartledon Turned His Face Upon Her; And When Illumined With A Smile, As Now,  It Could Be As Bright As Before Care Came To It. "I Don't Think We Men Attach The Importance To Names In A General Way That You Do, Maude. I Shall Like To Have It Edward."   "Edward William Algernon--"   "No,  No,  No," As If The Number Alarmed Him. "Pray Don't Have A String Of Names: One's Quite Enough."   "Oh,  Very Well," She Returned,  Biting Her Lips. "William Was Your Father's Name. Algernon Is My Eldest Brother's: I Supposed You Might Like Them. I Thought," She Added,  After A Pause,  "We Might Ask Lord Kirton To Be Its Godfather."   "I Have Decided On The Godfathers Already. Thomas Carr Will Be One,  And I Intend To Be The Other."   "Thomas Carr! A Poor Hard-Working Barrister,  That Not A Soul Knows,  And Of No Family Or Influence Whatever,  Godfather To The Future Lord Hartledon!" Uttered The Offended Mother.   "I Wish It,  Maude. Carr Is The Most Valued Friend I Have In The World,  Or Ever Can Have. Oblige Me In This."   "Then My Brother Can Be The Other."   "No; I Myself; And I Wish You Would Be Its Godmother."   "Well,  It's Quite Reversing The Order Of Things!" She Said,  Tacitly Conceding The Point.   A Silence Ensued. The Firelight Played On The Lace Curtains Of The Baby's Bed,  As It Did On Lady Hartledon's Face; A Thoughtful Face Just Now. Twilight Was Drawing On,  And The Fire Lighted The Room.   "Percival,  Do You Care For The Child?"   The Tone Had A Sound Of Passion In It,  Breaking Upon The Silence. Lord Hartledon Lifted His Bent Face And Glanced At His Wife.   "Do I Care For The Child,  Maude? What A Question! I Do Care For Him: More Than I Allow To Appear."   And If Her Voice Had Passion In It,  His Had Pain. He Crossed The Room, And Stood Looking Down On The Sleeping Baby,  Touching At Length Its Cheek With His Finger. He Could Have Knelt,  There And Then,  And Wept Over The Child,  And Prayed,  Oh,  How Earnestly,  That God Would Take It To Himself, Not Suffer It To Live. Many And Many A Prayer Had Ascended From His Heart In Their Earlier Married Days,  That His Wife Might Not Bear Him Children; For He Could Only Entail Upon Them An Inheritance Of Shame.   "I Don't Think You Have Once Taken Him In Your Arms,  Percival; You Never Kiss Him. It's Quite Unnatural."   "I Give My Kisses In The Dark," He Laughed,  As He Returned To Where She Was Sitting. And This Was In A Sense True; For Once When He Happened To Be Alone For An Instant With The Baby,  He Had Clasped It And Kissed It In A Sort Of Delirious Agony.   "You Never Had It In The _Times_,  You Know!"   "Never What?"   "Never Announced Its Birth In The _Times_. Did You Forget It?"   "It Must Have Been Very Stupid Of Me," He Remarked. "Never Mind,  Maude; He Won't Grow The Less For The Omission. When Are You Coming Downstairs?"   "Mamma Is In A Rage About It; She Says Such Neglect Ought To Be Punished; And She Knows You Have Done It On Purpose."   "She Is Always In A Rage With Me,  No Matter What I Do," Returned Val, Good-Humouredly. "She Hoped To Be Here At This Time,  And Sway Us All--You And Me And The Baby; And I Stopped It. Ho,  Ho! Young Sir!"   The Baby Had Wakened With A Cry,  And A Watchful Attendant Came Gliding In At The Sound. Lord Hartledon Left The Room And Went Straight Down To The Temple To Mr. Carr's Chambers. He Found Him In All The Bustle Of Departure From Town. A Cab Stood At The Foot Of The Stairs,  And Mr. Carr's Laundress,  A Queer Old Body With An Inverted Black Bonnet,  Was Handing The Cabman A Parcel Of Books.   "A Minute More And You'd Have Been Too Late," Observed Mr. Carr,  As Lord Hartledon Met Him On The Stairs,  A Coat On His Arm.   "I Thought You Did Not Start Till To-Morrow."   "But I Found I Must Go To-Day. I Can Give You Three Minutes. Is It Anything Particular?"   Lord Hartledon Drew Him Into His Room. "I Have Come To Crave A Favour, Carr. It Has Been On My Lips To Ask You Before,  But They Would Not Frame The Words. This Child Of Mine: Will You Be Its Godfather With Myself?"   One Moment's Hesitation,  Quite Perceptible To The Sensitive Mind Of Lord Hartledon,  And Then Mr. Carr Spoke Out Bravely And Cheerily.   "Of Course I Will."   "I See You Hesitate: But I Do Not Like To Ask Any One Else."   "If I Hesitated,  It Was At The Thought Of The Grave Responsibility Attaching To The Office. I Believe I Look Upon It In A More Serious Light Than Most People Do,  And Have Never Accepted The Charge Yet. I Will Be Sponsor To This One With All My Heart."   Lord Hartledon Clasped His Hand In Reply,  And They Began To Descend The Stairs. "Poor Maude Was Dreaming Of Making A Grand Thing Of The Christening," He Said; "She Wanted To Ask Lord Kirton To Come To It. It Will Take Place In About A Fortnight."   "Very Well; I Must Run Up For It,  Unless You Let Me Stand By Proxy. I Wish,  Hartledon,  You Would Hear Me On Another Point," Added The Barrister,  Halting On The Stairs,  And Dropping His Voice To A Whisper.   "Well?"   "If You Are To Go Away At All,  Now's The Time. Can't You Be Seized With An Exploring Fit,  And Sail To Africa,  Or Some Other Place,  Where Your Travels Would Occupy Years?"   Lord Hartledon Shook His Head. "How Can I Leave Maude To Battle Alone With The Exposure,  Should It Come?"   "It Is A Great Deal Less Likely To Come If You Are A Few Thousand Miles Away."   "I Question It. Should Gorton Turn Up He Is Just The One To Frighten A Defenceless Woman,  And Purchase His Own Silence. No; My Place Is Beside Maude."   "As You Please. I Have Spoken For The Last Time. By The Way,  Any Letters Bearing A Certain Postmark,  That Come Addressed To Me During My Absence, Taylor Has Orders To Send To You. Fare You Well,  Hartledon; I Wish I Could Help You To Peace."   Hartledon Watched The Cab Rattle Away,  And Then Turned Homewards. Peace! There Was No Peace For Him.   Lady Hartledon Was Not To Be Thwarted On All Points,  And She Insisted On A Ceremonious Christening. The Countess-Dowager Would Come Over For It,  And Did So; Lord Hartledon Could Not Be Discourteous Enough To Deny This; Lord And Lady Kirton Came From Ireland; And For The First Time Since Their Marriage They Found Themselves Entertaining Guests. Lord Hartledon Had Made A Faint Opposition,  But Maude Had Her Own Way. The Countess-Dowager Was Furiously Indignant When She Heard Of The Intended Sponsors--Its Father And Mother,  And That Cynical Wretch,  Thomas Carr! Val Played The Hospitable Host; But There Was A Shadow On His Face That His Wife Did Not Fail To See.   It Was The Evening Before The Christening,  And A Very Snowy Evening Too. Val Was Dressing For Dinner,  And Maude,  Herself Ready,  Sat By Him, Her Baby On Her Knee. The Child Was Attired For The First Time In A Splendidly-Worked Robe With Looped-Up Sleeves; And She Had Brought It In To Challenge Admiration For Its Pretty Arms,  With All The Pardonable Pride Of A Young Mother.   "Won't You Kiss It For Once,  Val?"   He Took The Child In His Arms; It Had Its Mother's Fine Dark Eyes,  And Looked Straight Up From Them Into His. Lord Hartledon Suddenly Bent His Own Face Down Upon That Little One With What Seemed Like A Gesture Of Agony; And When He Raised It His Own Eyes Were Wet With Tears. Maude Felt Startled With A Sort Of Terror: Love Was Love; But She Did Not Understand Love So Painful As This.   She Sat Down With The Baby On Her Knee,  Saying Nothing; He Did Not Intend Her To See The Signs Of Emotion. And This Brings Us To Where We Were. Lord Hartledon Went On With His Toilette,  And Presently Someone Knocked At The Door.   Two Letters: They Had Come By The Afternoon Post,  Very Much Delayed On Account Of The Snow. He Came Back To The Gaslight,  Opening One. A Full Letter,  Written Closely; But He Had Barely Glanced At It When He Hastily Folded It Again,  And Crammed It Into His Pocket. If Ever A Movement Expressed Something To Be Concealed,  That Did. And Lady Hartledon Was Gazing At Him With Her Questioning Eyes.   "Wasn't That Letter From Thomas Carr?"   "Yes."   "Is He Coming Up? Or Is Kirton To Be Proxy?"   "He Is--Coming,  I Think," Said Val,  Evidently Knowing Nothing One Way Or The Other. "He'll Be Here,  I Daresay,  To-Morrow Morning."   Opening The Other Letter As He Spoke--A Foreign-Looking Letter This One--He Put It Up In The Same Hasty Manner,  With Barely A Glance; And Then Went On Slowly With His Dressing.   "Why Don't You Read Your Letters,  Percival?"   "I Haven't Time. Dinner Will Be Waiting."   She Knew That He Had Plenty Of Time,  And That Dinner Would Not Be Waiting; She Knew Quite Certainly That There Was Something In Both Letters She Must Not See. Rising From Her Seat In Silence,  She Went Out Of The Room With Her Baby; Resentment And An Unhealthy Curiosity Doing Battle In Her Heart.   Lord Hartledon Slipped The Bolt Of The Door And Read The Letters At Once; The Foreign One First,  Over Which He Seemed To Take An Instant's Counsel With Himself. Before Going Down He Locked Them Up In A Small Ebony Cabinet Which Stood Against The Wall. The Room Was His Own Exclusively; His Wife Had Nothing To Do With It.   Had They Been Alone He Might Have Observed Her Coolness To Him; But,  With Guests To Entertain,  He Neither Saw Nor Suspected It. She Sat Opposite Him At Dinner Richly Dressed,  Her Jewels And Smiles Alike Dazzling: But The Smiles Were Not Turned On Him.   "Is That Chosen Sponsor Of Yours Coming Up For The Christening; Lawyer Carr?" Tartly Inquired The Dowager From Her Seat,  Bringing Her Face And Her Turban,  All Scarlet Together,  To Bear On Hartledon.   "He Comes Up By This Evening's Train; Will Be In London Late To-Night,  If The Snow Allows Him,  And Stay With Us Until Sunday Night," Replied Val.   "Oh! _That's_ No Doubt The Reason Why You Settled The Christening For Saturday: That Your Friend Might Have The Benefit Of Sunday?"   "Just So,  Madam."   And Lady Hartledon Knew,  By This,  That Her Husband Must Have Read The Letters. "I Wonder What He Has Done With Them?" Came The Mental Thought, Shadowing Forth A Dim Wish That She Could Read Them Too.   In The Drawing-Room,  After Dinner,  Someone Proposed A Carpet Quadrille, But Lord Hartledon Seemed Averse To It. In His Wife's Present Mood,  His Opposition Was,  Of Course,  The Signal For Her Approval,  And She Began Pushing The Chairs Aside With Her Own Hands. He Approached Her Quietly.   "Maude,  Do Not Let Them Dance To-Night."   "Why Not?"   "I Have A Reason. My Dear,  Won't You Oblige Me In This?"   "Tell Me The Reason,  And Perhaps I Will; Not Otherwise."   "I Will Tell It You Another Time. Trust Me,  I Have A Good One. What Is It,  Hedges?"   The Butler Had Come Up To His Master In The Unobtrusive Manner Of A Well-Trained Servant,  And Was Waiting An Opportunity To Speak. He Said A Word In Lord Hartledon's Ear,  And Lady Hartledon Saw A Shiver Of Surprise Run Through Her Husband. He Looked Here,  Looked There,  As One Perplexed With Fear,  And Finally Went Out Of The Room With A Calm Face,  But One That Was Turning Livid.   Lady Hartledon Followed In An Impulse Of Curiosity. She Looked After Him Over The Balustrades,  And Saw Him Turn Into The Library Below. Hedges Was Standing Near The Drawing-Room Door.   "Does Any One Want Lord Hartledon?"   "Yes,  My Lady."   "Who Is It?"   "I Don't Know,  My Lady. Some Gentleman."   She Ran Lightly Down The Stairs,  Pausing At The Foot,  As If Ashamed Of Her Persistent Curiosity. The Well-Lighted Hall Was Before Her; The Dining-Room On One Side; The Library And A Small Room Communicating On The Other. Throwing Back Her Head,  As In Defiance,  She Boldly Crossed The Hall And Opened The Library Door.   Now What Lady Hartledon Had Really Thought Was That The Visitor Was Mr. Carr; Her Husband Was Going To Steal A Quiet Half-Hour With Him; And Hedges Was In The Plot. She Had Not Lived With Hartledon The Best Part Of A Year Without Learning That Hedges Was Devoted Heart And Soul To His Master.   She Opened The Library-Door. Her Husband's Back Was Towards Her; And Facing Him,  His Arms Raised As If In Anger Or Remonstrance,  Was The Same Stranger Who Had Caused Some Commotion In The Other House. She Knew Him In A Moment: There He Was,  With His Staid Face,  His Black Clothes,  And His White Neckcloth,  Looking So Like A Clergyman. Lord Hartledon Turned His Head.   "I Am Engaged,  Maude; You Can't Come In," He Peremptorily Said; And Closed The Door Upon Her.   She Went Slowly Up The Stairs Again,  Not Choosing To Meet The Butler's Eyes,  Past The Drawing-Rooms,  And Up To Her Own. The Sight Of The Stranger,  Coupled With Her Husband's Signs Of Emotion,  Had Renewed All Her Old Suspicions,  She Knew Not,  She Never Had Known,  Of What. Jumping To The Conclusion That Those Letters Must Be In Some Way Connected With The Mystery,  Perhaps An Advent Of The Visit,  It Set Her Thinking,  And Rebellion Arose In Her Heart.   "I Wonder If He Put Them In The Ebony Cabinet?" She Exclaimed. "I Have A Key That Will Fit That."   Yes,  She Had A Key To Fit It. A Few Weeks Before,  Lord Hartledon Mislaid His Keys; He Wanted Something Out Of This Cabinet,  In Which He Did Not, As A Rule,  Keep Anything Of Consequence,  And Tried Hers. One Was Found To Unlock It,  And He Jokingly Told Her She Had A Key To His Treasures. But Himself Strictly Honourable,  He Could Not Suspect Dishonour In Another; And Lord Hartledon Supposed It Simply Impossible That She Should Attempt To Open It Of Her Own Accord.   They Were Of Different Natures; And They Had Been Reared In Different Schools. Poor Maude Kirton Had Learnt To Be Anything But Scrupulous, And Really Thought It A Very Slight Thing She Was About To Do,  Almost Justifiable Under The Circumstances. Almost,  If Not Quite. Nevertheless She Would Not Have Liked To Be Caught At It.   She Took Her Bunch Of Keys And Went Into Her Husband's Dressing-Room, Which Opened From Their Bedroom: But She Went On Tip-Toe,  As One Who Knows She Is Doing Wrong. It Took Some Little Time To Try The Keys,  For There Were Several On The Ring,  And She Did Not Know The Right One: But The Lid Flew Open At Last,  And Disclosed The Two Letters Lying There.   She Snatched At One,  Either That Came First,  And Opened It. It Happened To Be The One From Mr. Carr,  And She Began To Read It,  Her Heart Beating.     "Dear Hartledon,     "I Think I Have At Last Found Some Trace Of Gorton. There's A Man Of   That Name In The Criminal Calendar Here,  Down For Trial To-Morrow; I   Shall See Then Whether It Is The Same,  But The Description Tallies.   Should It Be Our Gorton,  I Think The Better Plan Will Be To Leave Him   Entirely Alone: A Man Undergoing A Criminal Sentence--And This Man Is   Sure Of A Long Period Of It--Has Neither The Means Nor The Motive To Be   Dangerous. He Cannot Molest You Whilst He Is Working On Portland   Island; And,  So Far,  You May Live A Little Eased From Fear. I Wish--"   Mr. Carr's Was A Close Handwriting,  And This Concluded The First Page. She Was Turning It Over,  When Lord Hartledon's Voice On The Stairs Caught Her Ear. He Seemed To Be Coming Up.   Ay,  And He Would Have Caught Her At Her Work But For The Accidental Circumstance Of The Old Dowager's Happening To Look Out Of The Drawing-Room And Detaining Him,  As He Was Hastening Onwards Up The Stairs. She Did Her Daughter Good Service That Moment,  If She Had Never Done It Before. Maude Had Time To Fold The Letter,  Put It Back,  Lock The Cabinet,  And Escape. Had She Been A Nervous Woman,  Given To Being Flurried And To Losing Her Presence Of Mind,  She Might Not Have Succeeded; But She Was Cool And Quick In Emergency,  Her Brain And Fingers Steady.   Nevertheless Her Heart Beat A Little As She Stood Within The Other Room, The Door Not Latched Behind Her. She Did Not Stir,  Lest He Should Hear Her; And She Hoped To Remain Unseen Until He Went Down Again. A Ready Excuse Was On Her Lips,  If He Happened To Look In,  Which Was Not Probable: That She Fancied She Heard Baby Cry,  And Was Listening.   Lord Hartledon Was Walking About His Dressing-Room,  Pacing It Restlessly, And She Very Distinctly Heard Suppressed Groans Of Mortal Anguish Breaking From His Lips. How He Had Got Rid Of His Visitor,  And What The Visitor Came For,  She Knew Not. He Seemed To Halt Before The Washhand-Stand,  Pour Out Some Water,  And Dash His Face Into It.   "God Help Me! God Help Maude!" He Ejaculated,  As He Went Down Again To The Drawing-Room.   And Lady Hartledon Went Down Also,  For The Interruption Had Frightened Her,  And She Did Not Attempt To Open The Cabinet Again. She Never Knew More Of The Contents Of Mr. Carr's Letter; And Only The Substance Of The Other,  As Communicated To Her By Her Husband. Chapter 27 (Cross Questioning Mr. Carr) Not Until The Sunday Morning Did Lady Hartledon Speak To Her Husband Of The Stranger's Visit. There Seemed To Have Been No Previous Opportunity. Mr. Carr Had Arrived Late On The Friday Night; Indeed It Was Saturday Morning,  For The Trains Were All Detained; And He And Hartledon Sat Up Together To An Unconscionable Hour. For This Short Visit He Was Lord Hartledon's Guest. Saturday Seemed To Have Been Given To Preparation, To Gaiety,  And To Nothing Else. Perhaps Also Lady Hartledon Did Not Wish To Mar That Day By An Unpleasant Word. The Little Child Was Christened; The Names Given Him Being Edward Kirton: The Countess-Dowager,  Who Was In A Chronic State Of Dissatisfaction With Everything And Every One,  Angrily Exclaimed At The Last Moment,  That She Thought At Least Her Family Name Might Have Been Given To The Child; And Lord Hartledon Interposed,  And Said,  Give It. Lord And Lady Hartledon,  And Mr. Carr,  Were The Sponsors: And It Would Afford Food For Weeks Of Grumbling To The Old Dowager. Hilarity Reigned,  And Toasts Were Given To The New Heir Of Hartledon; And The Only One Who Seemed Not To Enter Into The Spirit Of The Thing, But On The Contrary To Be Subdued,  Absent,  Nervous,  Was The Heir's Father.   And So It Went On To The Sunday Morning. A Cold,  Bleak,  Bitter Morning, The Wind Howling,  The Snow Flying In Drifts. Mr. Carr Went To Church, And He Was The Only One Of The Party In The House Who Did Go. The Countess-Dowager The Previous Night Had Proclaimed The Fact That _She_ Meant To Go--As A Sort Of Reproach To Any Who Meant To Keep Away. However,  When The Church-Bells Began,  She Was Turning Round In Her Warm Bed For Another Nap.   Maude Did Not Go Down Early; Had Not Yet Taken To Doing So. She Breakfasted In Her Room,  Remained Toying With Her Baby For Some Time, And Then Went Into Her Own Sitting-Room; A Small Cosy Apartment On The Drawing-Room Floor,  Into Which Visitors Did Not Intrude. It Looked On To Hyde Park,  And A Very White And Dreary Park It Was On That Particular Day.   Drawing A Chair To The Window,  She Sat Looking Out. That Is,  Her Eyes Were Given To The Outer World,  But She Was So Deep In Thought As To See Nothing Of It. For Two Nights And A Day,  Burning With Curiosity,  She Had Been Putting This And That Together In Her Own Mind,  And Drawing Conclusions According To Her Own Light. First,  There Was The Advent Of The Visitor; Secondly,  There Was The Letter She Had Dipped Into. She Connected The Two With Each Other And Wondered What The Secret Care Could Be That Had Such Telling Effect Upon Her Husband.   Gorton. The Name Had Struck Upon Her Memory,  Even Whilst She Read It,  As One Associated With That Terrible Time--The Late Lord Hartledon's Death. Gradually The Floodgates Of Recollection Opened,  And She Knew Him For The Witness At The Inquest About Whom Some Speculation Had Arisen As To Who He Was,  And What His Business At Calne Might Have Been With Lord Hartledon And His Brother,  Val Elster.   Why Should Her Husband Be Afraid Of This Man?--As It Seemed He _Was_ Afraid,  By Mr. Carr's Letter. What Power Had He Of Injuring Lord Hartledon?--What Secret Did He Possess Of His,  That Might Be Used Against Him? Turning It About In Her Mind,  And Turning It Again,  Searching Her Imagination For A Solution,  Lady Hartledon At Length Arrived At One,  In Default Of Others. She Thought This Man Must Know Some Untoward Fact By Which The Present Lord Hartledon's Succession Was Imperilled. Possibly The Late Lord Hartledon Had Made Some Covert And Degrading Marriage; Leaving An Obscure Child Who Possessed Legal Rights,  And Might Yet Claim Them. A Romantic,  Far-Fetched Idea,  You Will Say; But She Could Think Of No Other That Was In The Least Feasible. And She Remembered Some Faint Idea Having Arisen In Her Mind At The Time,  That The Visit Of The Man Gorton Was In Some Way Connected With Trouble,  Though She Did Not Know With Which Brother.   Val Came In And Shut The Door. He Stirred The Fire Into A Blaze,  Making Some Remark About The Snow,  And Wondering How Carr Would Get Down To The Country Again. Maude Gave A Slight Answer,  And Then There Was Silence. Each Was Considering How Best To Say Something To The Other. She Was The Quicker.   "Lord Hartledon,  What Did That Man Want On Friday?"   "What Man?" He Rejoined,  Rather Wincing--For He Knew Well Enough To What She Alluded.   "The Man--Gentleman,  Or Whatever He Is--Who Had You Called Down To Him In The Library."   "By The Way,  Maude--Yes--You Should Not Dart In When I Am Engaged With Visitors On Business."   "Well,  I Thought It Was Mr. Carr," She Replied,  Glancing At His Heightened Colour. "What Did He Want?"   "Only To Say A Word To Me On A Matter Of Business."   "It Was The Same Person Who Upset You So When He Called Last Autumn. You Have Never Been The Same Man Since."   "Don't Take Fancies Into Your Head,  Maude."   "Fancies! You Know Quite Well There Is No Fancy About It. That Man Holds Some Unpleasant Secret Of Yours,  I Am Certain."   "Maude!"   "Will You Tell It Me?"   "I Have Nothing To Tell."   "Ah,  Well; I Expected You Wouldn't Speak," She Answered,  With Subdued Bitterness; As Much As To Say,  That She Made A Merit Of Resigning Herself To An Injustice She Could Not Help. "You Have Been Keeping Things From Me A Long Time."   "I Have Kept Nothing From You It Would Give You Pleasure To Know. It Is Not--Maude,  Pray Hear Me--It Is Not Always Expedient For A Man To Make Known To His Wife The Jars And Rubs He Has Himself To Encounter. A Hundred Trifles May Arise That Are Best Spared To Her. That Gentleman's Business Concerned Others As Well As Myself,  And I Am Not At Liberty To Speak Of It."   "You Refuse,  Then,  To Admit Me To Your Confidence?"   "In This I Do. I Am The Best Judge--And You Must Allow Me To Be So--Of What Ought,  And What Ought Not,  To Be Spoken Of To You. You May Always Rely Upon My Acting For Your Best Happiness,  As Far As Lies In My Power."   He Had Been Pacing The Room Whilst He Spoke. Lady Hartledon Was In Too Resentful A Mood To Answer. Glancing At Her,  He Stood By The Mantelpiece And Leaned His Elbow Upon It.   "I Want To Make Known To You Another Matter,  Maude. If I Have Kept It From You--"   "Does It Concern This Secret Business Of Yours?" She Interrupted.   "No."   "Then Let Us Have Done With This First,  If You Please. Who Is Gorton?"   "Who Is--Gorton?" He Repeated,  After A Dumbfounded Pause. "What Gorton?"   "Well,  I Don't Know; Unless It's That Man Who Gave Evidence At The Inquest On Your Brother."   Lord Hartledon Stared At Her,  As Well He Might; And Gulped Down His Breath,  Which Seemed Choking Him. "But What About Gorton? Why Do You Ask Me The Question?"   "Because I Fancy He Is Connected With This Trouble. I--I Thought I Heard You And Mr. Carr Mention The Name Yesterday When You Were Whispering Together. I'm Sure I Did--There!"   As Far As Lord Hartledon Remembered,  He And Mr. Carr Had Not Been Whispering Together Yesterday; Had Not Mentioned The Name Of Gorton. They Had Done With The Subject At That Late Sitting,  The Night Of The Barrister's Arrival; Who Had Brought News That The Gorton,  That Morning Tried For A Great Crime,  Was _Not_ The Gorton Of Whom They Were In Search. Lord Hartledon Gazed At His Wife With Questioning Eyes,  But She Persisted In Her Assertion. It Was Sinfully Untrue; But How Else Could She Account For Knowing The Name?   "Do You Suppose I Dreamed It,  Lord Hartledon?"   "I Don't Know Whether You Dreamed It Or Not,  Maude. Mr. Carr Has Certainly Spoken To Me Since He Came Of A Man Of That Name; But As Certainly Not In Your Hearing. One Gorton Was Tried For His Life On Friday--Or Almost For His Life--And He Mentioned To Me The Circumstances Of The Case: Housebreaking,  Accompanied By Violence,  Which Ended In Death. I Cannot Understand You,  Maude,  Or The Fancies You Seem To Be Taking Up."   She Saw How It Was--He Would Admit Nothing: And She Looked Straight Out Across The Dreary Park,  A Certain Obstinate Defiance Veiled In Her Eyes. By The Help Of Heaven Or Earth,  She Would Find Out This Secret That He Refused To Disclose To Her.   "Almost Every Action Of Your Life Bespeaks Concealment," She Resumed. "Look At Those Letters You Received In Your Dressing-Room On Friday Night: You Just Opened Them And Thrust Them Unread Into Your Pocket, Because I Happened To Be There. And Yet You Talk Of Caring For Me! I Know Those Letters Contained Some Secret Or Other You Dare Not Tell Me."   She Rose In Some Temper,  And Gave The Fire A Fierce Stir.   Lord Hartledon Kept Her By Him.   "One Of Those Letters Was From Mr. Carr; And I Presume You Can Make No Objection To My Hearing From Him. The Other--Maude,  I Have Waited Until Now To Disclose Its Contents To You; I Would Not Mar Your Happiness Yesterday."   She Looked Up At Him. Something In His Voice,  A Sad Pitying Tenderness, Caused Her Heart To Beat A Shade Quicker. "It Was A Foreign Letter, Maude. I Think You Observed That. It Bore The French Postmark."   A Light Broke Upon Her. "Oh,  Percival,  It Is About Robert! Surely He Is Not Worse!"   He Drew Her Closer To Him: Not Speaking.   "He Is Not Dead?" She Said,  With A Rush Of Tears. "Ah,  You Need Not Tell Me; I See It. Robert! Robert!"   "It Has Been A Happy Death,  Maude,  And He Is Better Off. He Was Quite Ready To Go. I Wish We Were As Ready!"   Lord Hartledon Took Out The Letter And Read The Chief Portion Of It To Her. One Little Part He Dexterously Omitted,  Describing The Cause Of Death--Disease Of The Heart.   "But I Thought He Was Getting So Much Better. What Has Killed Him In This Sudden Manner?"   "Well,  There Was No Great Hope From The First. I Confess I Have Entertained None. Mr. Hillary,  You Know,  Warned Us It Might End Either Way."   "Was It Decline?" She Asked,  Her Tears Falling.   "He Has Been Declining Gradually,  No Doubt."   "Oh,  Percival! Why Did You Not Tell Me At Once? It Seems So Cruel To Have Had All That Entertainment Yesterday! This Is Why You Did Not Wish Us To Dance!"   "And If I Had Told You,  And Stopped The Entertainment,  Allowing The Poor Little Fellow To Be Christened In Gloom And Sorrow,  You Would Have Been The First To Reproach Me; You Might Have Said It Augured Ill-Luck For The Child."   "Well,  Perhaps I Should; Yes,  I Am Sure I Should. You Have Acted Rightly, After All,  Val." And It Was A Candid Admission,  Considering What She Had Been Previously Saying. He Bent Towards Her With A Smile,  His Voice Quite Unsteady With Its Earnestness.   "You See Now With What Motive I Kept The Letter From You. Maude! Cannot This Be An Earnest That You Should Trust Me For The Rest? In All I Do,  As Heaven Is My Witness,  I Place Your Comfort First And Foremost."   "Don't Be Angry With Me," She Cried,  Softening At The Words.   He Laid His Hand On His Wife's Bent Head,  Thinking How Far He Was From Anger. Anger? He Would Have Died For Her Then,  At That Moment,  If It Might Have Saved Her From The Sin And Shame That She Must Share With Him.   "Have You Told Mamma,  Percival?"   "Not Yet. It Would Not Have Been Kept From You Long Had She Known It. She Is Not Up Yet,  I Think."   "Who Has Written?"   "The Doctor Who Attended Him."   "You'll Let Me Read The Letter?"   "I Have Written To Desire That Full Particulars May Be Sent To You: You Shall Read That One."   The Tacit Refusal Did Not Strike Her. She Only Supposed The Future Letter Would Be More Explanatory. He Was Always Anxious For Her; And He Had Written Off On The Friday Night To Ask For A Letter Giving Fuller Particulars,  Whilst Avoiding Mention Of The Cause Of Death.   Thus Harmony For The Hour Was Restored Between Them; And Lord Hartledon Stood The Dowager's Loud Reproaches With Equanimity. In Possession Of The News Of That Darling Angel's Death Ever Since Friday Night,  And To Have Bottled It Up Within Him Till Sunday! She Wondered What He Thought Of Himself!   After All,  Val Had Not Quite "Bottled It Up." He Had Made It Known To His Brother-In-Law,  Lord Kirton,  And Also To Mr. Carr. Both Had Agreed That Nothing Had Better Be Said Until The Christening-Day Was Over.   But There Came A Reaction. When Lady Hartledon Had Got Over Her First Grief,  The Other Annoyance Returned To Her,  And She Fell Again To Brooding Over It In A Very Disturbing Fashion. She Merited Blame For This In A Degree; But Not So Much As Appears On The Surface. If That Idea, Which She Was Taking Up Very Seriously,  Were Correct--That Her Husband's Succession Was Imperilled--It Would Be The Greatest Misfortune That Could Happen To Her In Life. What Had She Married For But Position?--Rank, Wealth,  Her Title? Any Earthly Misfortune Would Be Less Keen Than This. Any Earthly Misfortune! Poor Maude!   It Was A Sombre Dinner That Evening; The News Of Captain Kirton's Death Making It So. Besides Relatives,  Very Few Guests Were Staying In The House; And The Large And Elaborate Dinner-Party Of The Previous Day Was Reduced To A Small One On This. The First To Come Into The Drawing-Room Afterwards,  Following Pretty Closely On The Ladies,  Was Mr. Carr. The Dowager,  Who Rarely Paid Attention To Appearances,  Or To Anything Else, Except Her Own Comfort,  Had Her Feet Up On A Sofa,  And Was Fast Asleep; Two Ladies Were Standing In Front Of The Fire,  Talking In Undertones; Lady Hartledon Sat On A Sofa A Little Apart,  Her Baby On Her Knee; And Her Sister-In-Law,  Lady Kirton,  A Fragile And Rather Cross-Looking Young Woman,  Who Looked As If A Breath Would Blow Her Away,  Was Standing Over Her,  Studying The Infant's Face. The Latter Lady Moved Away And Joined The Group At The Fire As Mr. Carr Approached Lady Hartledon.   "You Have Your Little Charge Here,  I See!"   "Please Excuse It; I Meant To Have Sent Him Away Before Any Of You Came Up," She Said,  Quite Pleadingly. "Sarah Took Upon Herself To Proclaim Aloud That His Eyes Were Not Straight,  And I Could Not Help Having Him Brought Down To Refute Her Words. Not Straight,  Indeed! She's Only Envious Of Him."   Sarah Was Lady Kirton. Mr. Carr Smiled.   "She Has No Children Herself. I Think You Might Be Proud Of Your Godson, Mr. Carr. But He Ought Not To Have Been Here To Receive You,  For All That."   "I Have Come Up Soon To Say Good-Bye,  Lady Hartledon. In Ten Minutes I Must Be Gone."   "In All This Snow! What A Night To Travel In!"   "Necessity Has No Law. So,  Sir,  You'd Imprison My Finger,  Would You!"   He Had Touched The Child's Hand,  And In A Moment It Was Clasped Round His Finger. Lady Hartledon Laughed.   "Lady Kirton--The Most Superstitious Woman In The World--Would Say That Was An Omen: You Are Destined To Be His Friend Through Life."   "As I Will Be," Said The Barrister,  His Tone More Earnest Than The Occasion Seemed To Call For.   Lady Hartledon,  With A Graciousness She Was Little In The Habit Of Showing To Mr. Carr,  Made Room For Him Beside Her,  And He Sat Down. The Baby Lay On His Back,  His Wide-Open Eyes Looking Upwards,  Good As Gold.   "How Quiet He Is! How He Stares!" Reiterated The Barrister,  Who Did Not Understand Much About Babies,  Except For A Shadowy Idea That They Lived In A State Of Crying For The First Six Months.   "He Is The Best Child In The World; Every One Says So," She Returned. "He Is Not The Least--Hey-Day! What Do You Mean By Contradicting Mamma Like That? Behave Yourself,  Sir."   For The Infant,  As If To Deny His Goodness,  Set Up A Sudden Cry. Mr. Carr Laughed. He Put Down His Finger Again,  And The Little Fingers Clasped Round It,  And The Cry Ceased.   "He Does Not Like To Lose His Friend,  You See,  Lady Hartledon."   "I Wish You Would Be My Friend As Well As His," She Rejoined; And The Low Meaning Tones Struck On Mr. Carr's Ear.   "I Trust I Am Your Friend," He Answered.   She Was Still For A Few Moments; Her Pale Beautiful Face Inclining Towards The Child's; Her Large Dark Eyes Bent Upon Him. She Turned Them On Mr. Carr.   "This Has Been A Sad Day."   "Yes,  For You. It Is Grievous To Lose A Brother."   "And To Lose Him Without The Opportunity Of A Last Look,  A Last Farewell. Robert Was My Best And Favourite Brother. But The Day Has Been Marked As Unhappy For Other Causes Than That."   Was It An Uncomfortable Prevision Of What Was Coming That Caused Mr. Carr Not To Answer Her? He Talked To The Unconscious Baby,  And Played With Its Cheeks.   "What Secret Is This That You And My Husband Have Between You,  Mr. Carr?" She Asked Abruptly.   He Ceased His Laughing With The Baby,  Said Something About Its Soft Face, Was Altogether Easy And Careless In His Manner,  And Then Answered In Half-Jesting Tones:   "Which One,  Lady Hartledon?"   "Which One! Have You More Than One?" She Continued,  Taking The Words Literally.   "We Might Count Up Half-A-Dozen,  I Daresay. I Cannot Tell You How Many Things I Have Not Confided To Him. We Are Quite--"   "I Mean The Secret That Affects _Him_" She Interrupted,  In Aggrieved Tones,  Feeling That Mr. Carr Was Playing With Her.   "There Is Some Dread Upon Him That's Wearing Him To A Shadow,  Poisoning His Happiness,  Making His Days And Nights One Long Restlessness. Do You Think It Right To Keep It From Me,  Mr. Carr? Is It What You And He Are Both Doing--And Are In League With Each Other To Do?"   "_I_ Am Not Keeping Any Secret From You,  Lady Hartledon."   "You Know You Are. Nonsense! Do You Think I Have Forgotten That Evening That Was The Beginning Of It,  When A Tall Strange Man Dressed As A Clergyman,  Came Here,  And You Both Were Shut Up With Him For I Can't Tell How Long,  And Lord Hartledon Came Out From It Looking Like A Ghost? You And He Both Misled Me,  Causing Me To Believe That The Ashtons Were Entering An Action Against Him For Breach Of Promise; Laying The Damages At Ten Thousand Pounds. I Mean _That_ Secret,  Mr. Carr," She Added With Emphasis. "The Same Man Was Here On Friday Night Again; And When You Came To The House Afterwards,  You And Lord Hartledon Sat Up Until Nearly Daylight."   Mr. Carr,  Who Had His Eyes On The Exacting Baby,  Shook His Head,  And Intimated That He Was Really Unable To Understand Her.   "When You Are In Town He Is Always At Your Chambers; When You Are Away He Receives Long Letters From You That I May Not Read."   "Yes,  We Have Been On Terms Of Close Friendship For Years. And Lord Hartledon Is An Idle Man,  You Know,  And Looks Me Up."   "He Said You Were Arranging Some Business For Him Last Autumn."   "Last Autumn? Let Me See. Yes,  I Think I Was."   "Mr. Carr,  Is It Of Any Use Playing With Me? Do You Think It Right Or Kind To Do So?"   His Manner Changed At Once; He Turned To Her With Eyes As Earnest As Her Own.   "Lady Hartledon,  I Would Tell You Anything That I Could And Ought To Tell You. That Your Husband Has Been Engaged In Some Complicated Business, Which I Have Been--Which I Have Taken Upon Myself To Arrange For Him,  Is Very True. I Know That He Does Not Wish It Mentioned,  And Therefore My Lips Are Sealed: But It Is As Well You Did Not Know It,  For It Would Give You No Satisfaction."   "Does It Involve Anything Very Frightful?"   "It Might Involve The--The Loss Of A Large Sum Of Money," He Answered, Making The Best Reply He Could.   Lady Hartledon Sank Her Voice To A Whisper. "Does It Involve The Possible Loss Of His Title?--Of Hartledon?"   "No," Said Mr. Carr,  Looking At Her With Surprise.   "You Are Sure?"   "Certain. I Give You My Word. What Can Have Got Into Your Head,  Lady Hartledon?"   She Gave A Sigh Of Relief. "I Thought It Just Possible--But I Will Not Tell You Why I Thought It--That Some Claimant Might Be Springing Up To The Title And Property."   Mr. Carr Laughed. "That Would Be A Calamity. Hartledon Is As Surely Your Husband's As This Watch"--Taking It Out To Look At The Time--"Is Mine. When His Brother Died,  He Succeeded To Him Of Indisputable Right. And Now I Must Go,  For My Time Is Up; And When Next I See You,  Young Gentleman, I Shall Expect A Good Account Of Your Behaviour. Why,  Sir,  The Finger's Mine,  Not Yours. Good-Bye,  Lady Hartledon."   She Gave Him Her Hand Coolly,  For She Was Not Pleased. The Baby Began To Cry,  And Was Sent Away With Its Nurse.   And Then Lady Hartledon Sat On Alone,  Feeling That If She Were Ever To Arrive At The Solution Of The Mystery,  It Would Not Be By The Help Of Mr. Carr. Other Questions Had Been Upon Her Lips--Who The Stranger Was--What He Wanted--Five Hundred Of Them: But She Saw That She Might As Well Have Put Them To The Moon.   And Lord Hartledon Went Out With Mr. Carr In The Inclement Night,  And Saw Him Off By A Great-Western Train. Chapter 28 (Maude's Disobedience) Again The Months Went On,  It May Almost Be Said The Years,  And Little Took Place Worthy Of Record. Time Obliterates As Well As Soothes; And Lady Hartledon Had Almost Forgotten The Circumstances Which Had Perplexed And Troubled Her,  For Nothing More Had Come Of Them.   And Lord Hartledon? But For A Certain Restlessness,  A Hectic Flush And A Worn Frame,  Betraying That The Inward Fever Was Not Quenched,  A Startled Movement If Approached Or Spoken To Unexpectedly,  It Might Be Thought That He Also Was At Rest. There Were No More Anxious Visits To Thomas Carr's Chambers; He Went About His Ordinary Duties,  Sat Out His Hours In The House Of Lords,  And Did As Other Men. There Was Nothing Very Obvious To Betray Mental Apprehension; And Maude Had Certainly Dismissed The Past,  So Far,  From Her Mind.   Not Again Had Val Gone Down To Hartledon. With The Exception Of That Short Visit Of A Day Or Two,  Already Recorded,  He Had Not Been There Since His Marriage. He Would Not Go: His Wife,  Though She Had Her Way In Most Things,  Could Not Induce Him To Go. She Went Once Or Twice,  In A Spirit Of Defiance,  It May Be Said,  And Meanwhile He Remained In London,  Or Took A Short Trip To The Continent,  As The Whim Prompted Him. Once They Had Gone Abroad Together,  And Remained For Some Months; Taking Servants And The Children,  For There Were Two Children Now; And The Little Fellow Who Had Clasped The Finger Of Mr. Carr Was A Sturdy Boy Of Three Years Old.   Lady Hartledon's Health Was Beginning To Fail. The Doctors Told Her She Must Be More Quiet; She Went Out A Great Deal,  And Seemed To Live Only In The World. Her Husband Remonstrated With Her On The Score Of Health; But She Laughed,  And Said She Was Not Going To Give Up Pleasure Just Yet. Of Course These Gay Habits Are More Easily Acquired Than Relinquished. Lady Hartledon Had Fainting-Fits; She Felt Occasional Pain And Palpitation In The Region Of The Heart; And She Grew Thin Without Apparent Cause. She Said Nothing About It,  Lest It Should Be Made A Plea For Living More Quietly; Never Dreaming Of Danger. Had She Known What Caused Her Brother's Death Her Fears Might Possibly Have Been Awakened. Lord Hartledon Suspected Mischief Might Be Arising,  And Cautiously Questioned Her; She Denied That Anything Was The Matter,  And He Felt Reassured. His Chief Care Was To Keep Her Free From Excitement; And In This Hope He Gave Way To Her More Than He Would Otherwise Have Done. But Alas! The Moment Was Approaching When All His Care Would Be In Vain; When The Built-Up Security Of Years Was Destroyed By A Single Act Of Wilful Disobedience To Him. The Sword So Long Suspended Over His Head,  Was To Fall On Hers At Last.   One Spring Afternoon,  In London,  He Was In His Wife's Sitting-Room; The Little Room Where You Have Seen Her Before,  Looking Upon The Park. The Children Were Playing On The Carpet--Two Pretty Little Things; The Girl Eighteen Months Old.   "Take Care!" Suddenly Called Out Lady Hartledon.   Some One Was Opening The Door,  And The Little Maude Was Too Near To It. She Ran And Picked Up The Child,  And Hedges Came In With A Card For His Master,  Saying At The Same Time That The Gentleman Was Waiting. Lord Hartledon Held It To The Fire To Read The Name.   "Who Is It?" Asked Lady Hartledon,  Putting The Little Girl Down By The Window,  And Approaching Her Husband. But There Came No Answer.   Whether The Silence Aroused Her Suspicions--Whether Any Look In Her Husband's Face Recalled That Evening Of Terror Long Ago--Or Whether Some Malicious Instinct Whispered The Truth,  Can Never Be Known. Certain It Was That The Past Rose Up As In A Mirror Before Lady Hartledon's Imagination,  And She Connected This Visitor With The Former. She Bent Over His Shoulder To Peep At The Card; And Her Husband,  Startled Out Of His Presence Of Mind,  Tore It In Two And Threw The Pieces Into The Fire.   "Oh,  Very Well!" She Exclaimed,  Mortally Offended. "But You Cannot Blind Me: It Is Your Mysterious Visitor Again."   "I Don't Know What You Mean,  Maude. It Is Only Someone On Business."   "Then I Will Go And Ask Him His Business," She Said,  Moving To The Door With Angry Resolve.   Val Was Too Quick For Her. He Placed His Back Against The Door,  And Lifted His Hands In Agitation. It Was A Great Fault Of His,  Or Perhaps A Misfortune--For He Could Not Help It--This Want Of Self-Control In Moments Of Emergency.   "Maude,  I Forbid You To Interfere In This; You Must Not. For Heaven's Sake,  Sit Down And Remain Quiet."   "I'll See Your Visitor,  And Know,  At Last,  What This Strange Trouble Is. I Will,  Lord Hartledon."   "You Must Not: Do You Hear Me?" He Reiterated With Deep Emotion,  For She Was Trying To Force Her Way Out Of The Room. "Maude--Listen--I Do Not Mean To Be Harsh,  But For Your Own Good I Conjure You To Be Still. I Forbid You,  By The Obedience You Promised Me Before God,  To Inquire Into Or Stir In This Matter. It Is A Private Affair Of My Own,  And Not Yours. Stay Here Until I Return."   Maude Drew Back,  As If In Compliance; And Lord Hartledon,  Supposing He Had Prevailed,  Quitted The Room And Closed The Door. He Was Quite Mistaken. Never Had Her Solemn Vows Of Obedience Been So Utterly Despised; Never Had The Temptation To Evil Been So Rife In Her Heart.   She Unlatched The Door And Listened. Lord Hartledon Went Downstairs And Into The Library,  Just As He Had Done The Evening Before The Christening. And Lady Hartledon Was Certain The Same Man Awaited Him There. Ringing The Nursery-Bell,  She Took Off Her Slippers,  Unseen,  And Hid Them Under A Chair.   "Remain Here With The Children," Was Her Order To The Nurse Who Appeared, As She Shut The Woman Into The Room.   Creeping Down Softly She Opened The Door Of The Room Behind The Library, And Glided In. It Was A Small Room,  Used Exclusively By Lord Hartledon, Where He Kept A Heterogeneous Collection Of Things--Papers,  Books, Cigars,  Pipes,  Guns,  Scientific Models,  Anything--And Which No One But Himself Ever Attempted To Enter. The Intervening Door Between That And The Library Was Not Quite Closed; And Lady Hartledon,  Cautiously Pushed It A Little Further Open. Wilful,  Unpardonable Disobedience! When He Had So Strongly Forbidden Her! It Was The Same Tall Stranger. He Was Speaking In Low Tones,  And Lord Hartledon Leaned Against The Wall With A Blank Expression Of Face.   She Saw; And Heard. But How She Controlled Her Feelings,  How She Remained And Made No Sign,  She Never Knew. But That The Instinct Of Self-Esteem Was One Of Her Strongest Passions,  The Dread Of Detection In Proportion To It,  She Never Had Remained. There She Was,  And She Could Not Get Away Again. The Subtle Dexterity Which Had Served Her In Coming Might Desert Her In Returning. Had Their Senses Been On The Alert They Might Have Heard Her Poor Heart Beating.   The Interview Did Not Last Long--About Twenty Minutes; And Whilst Lord Hartledon Was Attending His Visitor To The Door She Escaped Upstairs Again,  Motioned Away The Nurse,  And Resumed Her Shoes. But What Did She Look Like? Not Like Maude Hartledon. Her Face Was As That Of One Upon Whom Some Awful Doom Has Fallen; Her Breath Was Coming Painfully; And She Kneeled Down On The Carpet And Clasped Her Children To Her Beating Heart With An Action Of Wild Despair.   "Oh,  My Boy! My Boy! Oh,  My Little Maude!"   Suddenly She Heard Her Husband's Step Approaching,  And Pushing Them From Her,  Rose And Stood At The Window,  Apparently Looking Out On The Darkening World.   Lord Hartledon Came In,  Gaily And Cheerily,  His Manner Lighter Than It Had Been For Years.   "Well,  Maude,  I Have Not Been Long,  You See. Why Don't You Have Lights?"   She Did Not Answer: Only Stared Straight Out. Her Husband Approached Her. "What Are You Looking At,  Maude?"   "Nothing," She Answered: "My Head Aches. I Think I Shall Lie Down Until Dinner-Time. Eddie,  Open The Door,  And Call Nurse,  As Loud As You Can Call."   The Little Boy Obeyed,  And The Nurse Returned,  And Was Ordered To Take The Children. Lady Hartledon Was Following Them To Go To Her Own Room, When She Fell Into A Chair And Went Off In A Dead Faint.   "It's That Excitement," Said Val. "I Do Wish Maude Would Be Reasonable!"   The Illness,  However,  Appeared To Be More Serious Than An Ordinary Fainting-Fit; And Lord Hartledon,  Remembering The Suspicion Of Heart-Disease,  Sent For The Family Doctor Sir Alexander Pepps,  An Oracle In The Fashionable World.   A Different Result Showed Itself--Equally Caused By Excitement--And The Countess-Dowager Arrived In A Day Or Two In Hot Haste. Lady Hartledon Lay In Bed,  And Did Not Attempt To Get Up Or To Get Better. She Lay Almost As One Without Life,  Taking No Notice Of Any One,  Turning Her Head From Her Husband When He Entered,  Refusing To Answer Her Mother,  Keeping The Children Away From The Room.   "Why Doesn't She Get Up,  Pepps?" Demanded The Dowager,  Wrathfully, Pouncing Upon The Physician One Day,  When He Was Leaving The House.   Sir Alexander,  Who Might Have Been Supposed To Have Received His Baronetcy For His Skill,  But That Titles,  Like Kissing,  Go By Favour, Stopped Short,  Took Off His Hat,  And Presumed That Lady Hartledon Felt More Comfortable In Bed.   "Rubbish! We Might All Lie In Bed If We Studied Comfort. Is There Any Earthly Reason Why She Should Stay There,  Pepps?"   "Not Any,  Except Weakness."   "Except Idleness,  You Mean. Why Don't You Order Her To Get Up?"   "I Have Advised Lady Hartledon To Do So,  And She Does Not Attend To Me," Replied Sir Alexander.   "Oh," Said The Dowager. "She Was Always Wilful. What About Her Heart?"   "Her Heart!" Echoed Sir Alexander,  Looking Up Now As If A Little Aroused.   "Dear Me,  Yes; Her Heart; I Didn't Say Her Liver. Is It Sound,  Pepps?"   "It's Sound,  For Anything I Know To The Contrary. I Never Suspected Anything The Matter With Her Heart."   "Then You Are A Fool!" Retorted The Complimentary Dowager.   Sir Alexander's Temperament Was Remarkably Calm. Nothing Could Rouse Him Out Of His Tame Civility,  Which Had Been Taken More Than Once For Obsequiousness. The Countess-Dowager Had Patronized Him In Earlier Years, When He Was Not A Great Man,  Or Had Begun To Dream Of Becoming One.   "Don't You Recollect I Once Consulted You On The Subject--What's Your Memory Good For? She Was A Girl Then,  Of Fourteen Or So; And You Were Worth Fifty Of What You Are Now,  In Point Of Discernment."   The Oracle Carried His Thoughts Back,  And Really Could Not Recollect It. "Ahem! Yes; And The Result Was--Was--"   "The Result Was That You Said The Heart Had Nothing The Matter With It, And I Said It Had," Broke In The Impatient Dowager.   "Ah,  Yes,  Madam,  I Remember. Pray,  Have You Reason To Suspect Anything Wrong Now?"   "That's What You Ought To Have Ascertained,  Pepps,  Not Me. What D'you Mean By Your Neglect? What,  I Ask,  Does She Lie In Bed For? If Her Heart's Right,  There's Nothing More The Matter With Her Than There Is With You."   "Perhaps Your Ladyship Can Persuade Lady Hartledon To Exert Herself," Suggested The Bland Doctor. "I Can't; And I Confess I Think That She Only Wants Rousing."   With A Flourish Of His Hat And His Small Gold-Headed Black Cane The Doctor Bowed Himself Out From The Formidable Dowager. That Lady Turned Her Back Upon Him,  And Betook Herself On The Spur Of The Moment To Maude's Room,  Determined To "Have It Out."   Curious Sounds Greeted Her,  As Of Some One In Hysterical Pain. On The Bed,  Clasped To His Mother In Nervous Agony,  Was The Wondering Child, Little Lord Elster: Words Of Distress,  Nay,  Of Despair,  Breaking From Her. It Seemed,  The Little Boy,  Who Was Rather Self-Willed And Rebellious On Occasion,  Had Escaped From The Nursery,  And Stolen To His Mother's Room. The Dowager Halted At The Door,  And Looked Out From Her Astonished Eyes.   "Oh,  Edward,  If We Were But Dead! Oh,  My Darling,  If It Would Only Please Heaven To Take Us Both! I Couldn't Send For You,  Child; I Couldn't See You; The Sight Of You Kills Me. You Don't Know; My Babies,  You Don't Know!"   "What On Earth Does All This Mean?" Interrupted The Dowager,  Stepping Forward. And Lady Hartledon Dropped The Boy,  And Fell Back On The Bed, Exhausted.   "What Have You Done To Your Mamma,  Sir?"   The Child,  Conscious That He Had Not Done Anything,  But Frightened On The Whole,  Repented Of His Disobedience,  And Escaped From The Chamber More Quickly Than He Had Entered It. The Dowager Hated To Be Puzzled,  And Went Wrathfully Up To Her Daughter.   "Perhaps You'll Tell Me What's The Matter,  Maude."   Lady Hartledon Grew Calm. The Countess-Dowager Pressed The Question.   "There's Nothing The Matter," Came The Tardy And Rather Sullen Reply.   "Why Do You Wish Yourself Dead,  Then?"   "Because I Do."   "How Dare You Answer Me So?"   "It's The Truth. I Should Be Spared Suffering."   The Countess-Dowager Paused. "Spared Suffering!" She Mentally Repeated; And Being A Woman Given To Arriving At Rapid Conclusions Without Rhyme Or Reason,  She Bethought Herself That Maude Must Have Become Acquainted With The Suspicion Regarding Her Heart.   "Who Told You That?" Shrieked The Dowager. "It Was That Fool Hartledon."   "He Has Told Me Nothing," Said Maude,  In An Access Of Resentment,  All Too Visible. "Told Me What?"   "Why,  About Your Heart. That's What I Suppose It Is."   Maude Raised Herself Upon Her Elbow,  Her Wan Face Fixed On Her Mother's. "Is There Anything The Matter With My Heart?" She Calmly Asked.   And Then The Old Woman Found That She Had Made A Grievous Mistake,  And Hastened To Repair It.   "I Thought There Might Be,  And Asked Pepps. I've Just Asked Him Now; And He's Says There's Nothing The Matter With It."   "I Wish There Were!" Said Maude.   "You Wish There Were! That's A Pretty Wish For A Reasonable Christian," Cried The Tart Dowager. "You Want Your Husband To Lecture You; Saying Such Things."   "I Wish He Were Hanged!" Cried Maude,  Showing Her Glistening Teeth.   "My Gracious!" Exclaimed The Wondering Old Lady,  After A Pause. "What Has He Done?"   "Why Did You Urge Me To Marry Him? Oh,  Mother,  Can't You See That I Am Dying--Dying Of Horror--And Shame--And Grief? You Had Better Have Buried Me Instead."   For Once In Her Selfish And Vulgar Mind The Countess-Dowager Felt A Feeling Akin To Fear. In Her Astonishment She Thought Maude Must Be Going Mad.   "You'd Do Well To Get Some Sleep,  Dear," She Said In A Subdued Tone; "And To-Morrow You Must Get Up; Pepps Says So; He Thinks You Want Rousing."   "I Have Not Slept Since; It's Not Sleep,  It's A Dead Stupor,  In Which I Dream Things As Horrible As The Reality," Murmured Maude,  Unconscious Perhaps That She Spoke Aloud. "I Shall Never Sleep Again."   "Not Slept Since When?"   "I Don't Know."   "Can't You Say What You Mean?" Cried The Puzzled Dowager. "If You've Any Grievance,  Tell It Out; If You've Not,  Don't Talk Nonsense."   But Lady Hartledon,  Though Thus Sweetly Allured To Confession,  Held Her Tongue. Her Half-Scattered Senses Came Back To Her,  And With Them A Reticence She Would Not Break. The Countess-Dowager Hardly Knew Whether She Deserved Pitying Or Shaking,  And Went Off In A Fit Of Exasperation, Breaking In Upon Her Son-In-Law As He Was Busy Looking Over Some Accounts In The Library.   "I Want To Know What Is The Matter With Maude."   He Turned Round In His Chair,  And Met The Dowager's Flaxen Wig And Crimson Face. Val Did Not Know What Was The Matter With His Wife Any More Than The Questioner Did. He Supposed She Would Be All Right When She Grew Stronger.   "She Says It's _You_" Said The Gentle Dowager,  Improving Upon Her Information. "She Has Just Been Wishing You Were Hanged."   "Ah,  You Have Been Teasing Her," He Returned,  With Composure. "Maude Says All Sorts Of Things When She's Put Out."   "Perhaps She Does," Was The Retort; "But She Meant This,  For She Showed Her Teeth When She Said It. You Can't Blind Me; And I Have Seen Ever Since I Came Here That There Was Something Wrong Between You And Maude."   For That Matter,  Val Had Seen It Too. Since The Night Of His Wife's Fainting-Fit She Had Scarcely Spoken A Word To Him; Had Appeared As If She Could Not Tolerate His Presence For An Instant In Her Room. Lord Hartledon Felt Persuaded That It Arose From Resentment At His Having Refused To Allow Her To See The Stranger. He Rose From His Seat.   "There's Nothing Wrong Between Me And Maude,  Lady Kirton. If There Were, You Must Pardon Me For Saying That I Could Not Suffer Any Interference In It. But There Is Not."   "Something's Wrong Somewhere. I Found Her Just Now Sobbing And Moaning Over Eddie,  Wishing They Were Both Dead,  And All The Rest Of It. If She Goes On Like This For Nothing,  She's Losing Her Senses,  That's All."   "She'll Be All Right When She's Stronger. Pray Don't Worry Her. She'll Be Well Soon,  I Daresay. And Now I Shall Be Glad If You'll Leave Me,  For I Am Very Busy."   She Did Not Leave Him Any The Quicker For The Request,  But Stayed To Worry Him,  As It Was In Her Nature To Worry Every One. Getting Rid Of Her At Last,  He Turned The Key Of The Door,  And Wished Her A Hundred Miles Away.   The Wish Bore Fruit. In A Few Days Some News She Heard Regarding Her Eldest Son--Who Was A Widower Now--Took The Dowager To Ireland,  And Lord Hartledon Wished He Could As Easily Turn The Key Of The House Upon Her As He Had Turned That Of The Room. Chapter 29 (The Sword Slipped) Summer Dust Was In The London Streets,  Summer Weather In The Air,  And The Carriage Of That Fashionable Practitioner,  Sir Alexander Pepps,  Still Waited Before Lord Hartledon's House. It Had Waited There More Frequently In These Later Weeks Than Of Old.   The Great World--_Her_ World--Wondered What Was The Matter With Her: Sir Alexander Wondered Also. Perhaps Had He Been A Less Courtly Man He Might Have Rapped Out "Obstinacy," If Questioned Upon The Point; As It Was,  He Murmured Of "Weakness." Weak She Undoubtedly Was; And She Did Not Seem To Try In The Least To Grow Strong Again. She Did Not Go Into Society Now; She Dressed As Usual,  And Sat In Her Drawing-Room,  And Received Visitors If The Whim Took Her; But She Was Usually Denied To All; And Said She Was Not Well Enough To Go Out. From Her Husband She Remained Bitterly Estranged. If He Attempted To Be Friendly With Her,  To Ask What Was Ailing Her,  She Either Sharply Refused To Say,  Or Maintained A Persistent Silence. Lord Hartledon Could Not Account For Her Behaviour,  And Was Growing Tired Of It.   Poor Maude! That Some Grievous Blow Had Fallen Upon Her Was All Too Evident. Resentment,  Anguish,  Bitter Despair Alternated Within Her Breast,  And She Seemed Really Not To Care Whether She Lived Or Died. Was It For _This_ That She Had Schemed,  And So Successfully,  To Wrest Lord Hartledon From His Promised Bride Anne Ashton? She Would Lie Back In Her Chair And Ask It. No Labour Of Hers Could By Any Possibility Have Brought Forth A Result By Which Miss Ashton Could Be So Well Avenged. Heaven Is True To Itself,  And Dr. Ashton Had Left Vengeance With It. Lady Hartledon Looked Back On Her Fleeting Triumph; A Triumph At The Time Certainly,  But A Short One. It Had Not Fulfilled Its Golden Promises: That Sort Of Triumph Perhaps Never Does. It Had Been Followed By Ennui,  Repentance, Dissatisfaction With Her Husband,  And It Had Resulted In A Very Moonlight Sort Of Happiness,  Which Had At Length Centred Only In The Children. The Children! Maude Gave A Cry Of Anguish As She Thought Of Them. No; Take It Altogether,  The Play From The First Had Not Been Worth The Candle. And Now? She Clasped Her Thin Hands In A Frenzy Of Impotent Rage--With Anne Ashton Had Lain The Real Triumph,  With Herself The Sacrifice. Too Well Maude Understood A Remark Her Husband Once Made In Answer To A Reproach Of Hers In The First Year Of Their Marriage--That He Was Thankful Not To Have Wedded Anne.   One Morning Sir Alexander Pepps,  On His Way From The Drawing-Room To His Chariot--A Very Old-Fashioned Chariot That All The World Knew Well--Paused Midway In The Hall,  With His Cane To His Nose,  And Condescended To Address The Man With The Powdered Wig Who Was Escorting Him.   "Is His Lordship At Home?"   "Yes,  Sir."   "I Wish To See Him."   So The Wig Changed Its Course,  And Sir Alexander Was Bowed Into The Presence. His Lordship Rose With What The French Would Call _Empressement_,  To Receive The Great Man.   "Thank You,  I Have Not Time To Sit," Said He,  Declining The Offered Chair And Standing,  Cane In Hand. "I Have Three Consultations To-Day,  And Some Urgent Cases. I Grieve To Have A Painful Duty To Fulfil; But I Must Inform You That Lady Hartledon's Health Gives Me Uneasiness."   Lord Hartledon Did Not Immediately Reply; But It Was Not From Want Of Genuine Concern.   "What Is Really The Matter With Her?"   "Debility; Nothing Else," Replied Sir Alexander. "But These Cases Of Extreme Debility Cause So Much Perplexity. Where There Is No Particular Disease To Treat,  And The Patient Does Not Rally,  Why--"   He Understood The Doctor's Pause To Mean Something Ominous. "What Can Be Done?" He Asked. "I Have Remarked,  With Pain,  That She Does Not Gain Strength. Change Of Air? The Seaside--"   "She Says She Won't Go," Interrupted The Physician. "In Fact,  Her Ladyship Objects To Everything I Can Suggest Or Propose."   "It's Very Strange," Said Lord Hartledon.   "At Times It Has Occurred To Me That She Has Something On Her Mind," Continued Sir Alexander. "Upon My Delicately Hinting This Opinion To Lady Hartledon,  She Denied It With A Vehemence Which Caused Me To Suspect That I Was Correct. Does Your Lordship Know Of Anything Likely To--To Torment Her?"   "Not Anything," Replied Lord Hartledon,  Confidently. "I Think I Can Assure You That There Is Nothing Of The Sort."   And He Spoke According To His Belief; For He Knew Of Nothing. He Would Have Supposed It Simply Impossible That Lady Hartledon Had Been Made Privy To The Dreadful Secret Which Had Weighed On Him; And He Never Gave That A Thought.   Sir Alexander Nodded,  Reassured On The Point.   "I Should Wish For A Consultation,  If Your Lordship Has No Objection."   "Then Pray Call It Without Delay. Have Anything,  Do Anything,  That May Conduce To Lady Hartledon's Recovery. You Do Not Suspect Heart-Disease?"   "The Symptoms Are Not Those Of Any Heart-Disease Known To Me. Lady Kirton Spoke To Me Of This; But I See Nothing To Apprehend At Present On That Score. If There's Any Latent Affection,  It Has Not Yet Shown Itself. Then We'll Arrange The Consultation For To-Morrow."   Sir Alexander Pepps Was Bowed Out; And The Consultation Took Place; Which Left The Matter Just Where It Was Before. The Wise Doctors Thought There Was Nothing Radically Wrong; But Strongly Recommended Change Of Air. Sir Alexander Confidently Mentioned Torbay; He Had Great Faith In Torbay; Perhaps His Lordship Could Induce Lady Hartledon To Try It? She Had Flatly Told The Consultation That She Would _Not_ Try It.   Lady Hartledon Was Seated In The Drawing-Room When He Went In,  Willing To Do What He Could; Any Urging Of His Had Not Gone Far With Her Of Late. A White Silk Shawl Covered Her Dress Of Green Check Silk; She Wore A Shawl Constantly Now,  Having A Perpetual Tendency To Shiver; Her Handsome Features Were White And Attenuated,  But Her Eyes Were Brilliant Still, And Her Dark Hair Was Dressed In Elaborate Braids.   "So You Have Had The Doctors Here,  Maude," He Remarked,  Cheerfully.   She Nodded A Reply,  And Began To Fidget With The Body Of Her Gown. It Seemed That She Had To Do Something Or Other Always To Her Attire Whenever He Spoke To Her--Which Partially Took Away Her Attention.   "Sir Alexander Tells Me They Have Been Recommending You Torbay."   "I Am Not Going To Torbay."   "Oh Yes,  You Are,  Maude," He Soothingly Said. "It Will Be A Change For Us All. The Children Will Benefit By It As Much As You,  And So Shall I."   "I Tell You I Shall Not Go To Torbay."   "Would You Prefer Any Other Place?"   "I Will Not Go Anywhere; I Have Told Them So."   "Then I Declare That I'll Carry You Off By Force!" He Cried,  Rather Sharply. "Why Do You Vex Me Like This? You Know You Must Go?"   She Made No Reply. He Drew A Chair Close To Her And Sat Down.   "Maude," He Said,  Speaking All The More Gently For His Recent Outbreak, "You Must Be Aware That You Do Not Recover As Quickly As We Could Wish--"   "I Do Not Recover At All," She Interrupted. "I Don't Want To Recover."   "My Dear,  How Can You Talk So? There Is Nothing The Matter With You But Weakness,  And That Will Soon Be Overcome If You Exert Yourself."   "No,  It Won't. I Shall Not Leave Home."   "Somewhere You Must Go,  For The Workmen Are Coming Into The House; And For The Next Two Months It Will Not Be Habitable."   "Who Is Bringing Them In?" She Asked,  With Flashing Eyes.   "You Know It Was Decided Long Ago That The House Should Be Done Up This Summer. It Wants It Badly Enough. Torbay--"   "I Will Not Go To Torbay,  Lord Hartledon. If I Am To Be Turned Out Of This House,  I'll Go To The Other."   "What Other?"   "Hartledon."   "Not To Hartledon," Said He,  Quickly,  For His Dislike To The Place Had Grown With Time,  And The Word Grated On His Ear.   "Then I Remain Where I Am."   "Maude," He Resumed In Quiet Tones,  "I Will Not Urge You To Try Sea-Air For My Sake,  Because You Do What You Can To Show Me I Am Of Little Moment To You; But I Will Say Try It For The Sake Of The Children. Surely,  They Are Dear To You!"   A Subdued Sound Of Pain Broke From Her Lips,  As If She Could Not Bear To Hear Them Named.   "It's Of No Use Prolonging This Discussion," She Said. "An Invalid's Fancies May Generally Be Trusted,  And Mine Point To Hartledon--If I Am To Be Disturbed At All. I Should Not So Much Mind Going There."   A Pause Ensued. Lord Hartledon Had Taken Her Hand,  And Was Mechanically Turning Round Her Wedding-Ring,  His Thoughts Far Away; It Hung Sufficiently Loosely Now On The Wasted Finger. She Lay Back In Her Chair,  Looking On With Apathy,  Too Indifferent To Withdraw Her Hand.   "Why Did You Put It On?" She Asked,  Abruptly.   "Why Indeed?" Returned His Lordship,  Deep In His Abstraction. "What Did You Say,  Maude?" He Added,  Awaking In A Flurry. "Put What On?"   "My Wedding-Ring."   "My Dear! But About Hartledon--If You Fancy That,  And Nowhere Else, I Suppose We Must Go There."   "You Also?"   "Of Course."   "Ah! When Your Wife's Chord Of Life Is Loosening What Model Husbands You Men Become!" She Uttered. "You Have Never Gone To Hartledon With Me; You Have Suffered Me To Be There Alone,  Through A Ridiculous Reminiscence; But Now That You Are About To Lose Me You Will Go!"   "Why Do You Encourage These Gloomy Thoughts About Yourself,  Maude?" He Asked,  Passing Over The Hartledon Question. "One Would Think You Wished To Die."   "I Do Not Know," She Replied In Tones Of Deliberation. "Of Course,  No One,  At My Age,  Can Be Tired Of The World,  And For Some Things I Wish To Live; But For Others,  I Shall Be Glad To Die."   "Maude! Maude! It Is Wrong To Say This. You Are Not Likely To Die."   "I Can't Tell. All I Say Is,  I Shall Be Glad For Some Things,  If I Do."   "What Is All This?" He Exclaimed,  After A Bewildered Pause. "Is There Anything On Your Mind,  Maude? Are You Grieving After That Little Infant?"   "No," She Answered,  "Not For Him. I Grieve For The Two Who Remain."   Lord Hartledon Looked At Her. A Dread,  Which He Strove To Throw From Him, Struggling To His Conscience.   "I Think You Are Deceived In My State Of Health. And If I Object To Going To The Seaside,  It Is Chiefly Because I Would Not Die In A Strange Place. If I Am To Die,  I Should Like To Die At Hartledon."   His Hair Seemed To Rise Up In Horror At The Words. "Maude! Have You Any Disease You Are Concealing From Me?"   "Not Any. But The Belief Has Been Upon Me For Some Time That I Should Not Get Over This. You Must Have Seen How I Appear To Be Sinking."   "And With No Disease Upon You! I Don't Understand It."   "No Particular Physical Disease."   "You Are Weak,  Dispirited--I Cannot Pursue These Questions," He Broke Off. "Tell Me In A Word: Is There Any Cause For This?"   "Yes."   Percival Gathered Up His Breath. "What Is It?"   "What Is It!" Her Eyes Ablaze With Sudden Light. "What Has Weighed _You_ Down,  Not To The Grave,  For Men Are Strong,  But To Terror,  And Shame,  And Sin? What Secret Is It,  Lord Hartledon?"   His Lips Were Whitening. "But It--Even Allowing That I Have A Secret--Need Not Weigh You Down."   "Not Weigh Me Down!--To Terror Deeper Than Yours; To Shame More Abject? Suppose I Know The Secret?"   "You Cannot Know It," He Gasped. "It Would Have Killed You."   "And What _Has_ It Done? Look At Me."   "Oh,  Maude!" He Wailed,  "What Is It That You Do,  Or Do Not Know? How Did You Learn Anything About It?"   "I Learnt It Through My Own Folly. I Am Sorry For It Now. My Knowing It Can Make The Fact Neither Better Nor Worse; And Perhaps I Might Have Been Spared The Knowledge To The End."   "But What Is It That You Know?" He Asked,  Rather Wishing At The Moment He Was Dead Himself.   "_All._"   "It Is Impossible."   "It Is True."   And He Felt That It Was True; Here Was The Solution To The Conduct Which Had Puzzled Him,  Puzzled The Doctors,  Puzzled The Household And The Countess-Dowager.   "And How--And How?" He Gasped.   "When That Stranger Was Here Last,  I Heard What He Said To You," She Replied,  Avowing The Fact Without Shame In The Moment's Terrible Anguish. "I Made The Third At The Interview."   He Looked At Her In Utter Disbelief.   "You Refused To Let Me Go Down. I Followed You,  And Stood At The Little Door Of The Library. It Was Open,  And I--Heard--Every Word."   The Last Words Were Spoken With An Hysterical Sobbing. "Oh,  Maude!" Broke From The Lips Of Lord Hartledon.   "You Will Reproach Me For Disobedience,  Of Course; For Meanness,  Perhaps; But I _Knew_ There Was Some Awful Secret,  And You Would Not Tell Me. I Earned My Punishment,  If That Will Be Any Satisfaction To You; I Have Never Since Enjoyed An Instant's Peace,  Night Or Day."   He Hid His Face In His Pain. This Was The Moment He Had Dreaded For Years; Anything,  So That It Might Be Kept From Her,  He Had Prayed In His Never-Ceasing Fear.   "Forgive,  Forgive Me! Oh,  Maude,  Forgive Me!"   She Did Not Respond; She Did Not Attempt To Soothe Him; If Ever Looks Expressed Reproach And Aversion,  Hers Did Then.   "Have Compassion Upon Me,  Maude! I Was More Sinned Against Than Sinning."   "What Compassion Had You For Me? How Dared You Marry Me? You,  Bound With Crime?"   "The Worst Is Over,  Maude; The Worst Is Over."   "It Can Never Be Over: You Are Guilty Of Wilful Sophistry. The Crime Remains; And--Lord Hartledon--Its Fruits Remain."   He Interrupted Her Excited Words By Voice And Gesture; He Took Her Hands In His. She Snatched Them From Him,  And Burst Into A Fit Of Hysterical Crying,  Which Ended In A Faintness Almost As Of Death. He Did Not Dare To Call Assistance; An Unguarded Word Might Have Slipped Out Unawares.   Shut Them In; Shut Them In! They Had Need To Be Alone In A Scene Such As That.   Lord And Lady Hartledon Went Down To Calne,  As She Wished. But Not Immediately; Some Two Or Three Weeks Elapsed,  And During That Time Mr. Carr Was A Good Deal With Both Of Them. Their Sole Friend: The Only Man Cognizant Of The Trouble They Had Yet To Battle With; Who Alone Might Whisper A Word Of Something Like Consolation.   Lady Hartledon Seemed To Improve. Whether It Was The Country,  Or The Sort Of Patched-Up Peace That Reigned Between Her And Her Husband,  She Grew Stronger And Better,  And Began To Go Out Again And Enjoy Life As Usual. But In Saying Life,  It Must Not Be Thought That Gaiety Is Implied; None Could Shun That As Lady Hartledon Now Seemed To Shun It. And He,  For The First Time Since His Marriage,  Began To Take Some Interest In His Native Place,  And In His Own Home. The Old Sensitive Feeling In Regard To Meeting The Ashtons Lingered Still; Was Almost As Strong As Ever; And He Had The Good Sense To See That This Must Be Overcome,  If Possible,  If He Made Hartledon His Home For The Future,  As His Wife Now Talked Of Doing.   As A Preliminary Step To It,  He Appeared At Church; One,  Two,  Three Sundays. On The Second Sunday His Wife Went With Him. Anne Was In Her Pew,  With Her Younger Brother,  But Not Mrs. Ashton: She,  As Lord Hartledon Knew By Report,  Was Too Ill Now To Go Out. Each Day Dr. Ashton Did The Whole Duty; His Curate,  Mr. Graves,  Was Taking A Holiday. Lord Hartledon Heard Another Report,  That The Curate Had Been Wanting To Press His Attentions On Miss Ashton. The Truth Was,  As None Had Known Better Than Val Elster,  Mr. Graves Had Wanted To Press Them Years And Years Ago. He Had At Length Made Her An Offer,  And She Had Angrily Refused Him. A Foolish Girl! Said Indignant Mrs. Graves,  Reproachfully. Her Son Was A Model Son,  And Would Make A Model Husband; And He Would Be A Wealthy Man,  As Anne Knew,  For He Must Sooner Or Later Come Into The Entailed Property Of His Uncle. It Was Not At All Pleasant To Lord Hartledon To Stand There In His Pew,  With Recollection Upon Him,  And The Gaze Of The Ashtons Studiously Turned From Him,  And Jabez Gum Looking Out At Him From The Corners Of His Eyes As He Made His Sonorous Responses. A Wish For Reconciliation Took Strong Possession Of Lord Hartledon,  And He Wondered Whether He Could Not Bring Himself To Sue For It. He Wanted Besides To Stay For The After-Service,  Which He Had Not Done Since He Was A Young Man--Never Since His Marriage. Maude Had Stayed Occasionally,  As Was The Fashion; But He Never. I Beg You Not To Quarrel With Me For The Word; Some Of The Partakers In That After-Service Remain From No Higher Motive. Certainly Poor Maude Had Not.   On The Third Sunday,  Lord Hartledon Went To Sauntered About The Lawn And Terraces With Her Companion,  Tilting Her Parasol Prettily Over Her Shoulder,  So That It Formed An Entrancing Background To Her Face And Head. She Seemed To Be Entertaining The Young Man. His Big Laugh And The Silver Music Of Her Own Lighter Merriment Rang Out A Little Tantalisingly.   "I Wonder What Cora Is Saying," Said Mrs. Brooke To The Group At Large. "She Always Makes Men Laugh So."   Emily Fox-Seton Felt An Interest Herself,  The Merriment Sounded So Attractive. She Wondered If Perhaps To A Man Who Had Been So Much Run After A Girl Who Took No Notice Of His Presence And Amused Other Men So Much Might Not Assume An Agreeable Aspect.   But He Took More Notice Of Lady Agatha Slade Than Of Any One Else That Evening. She Was Placed Next To Him At Dinner,  And She Really Was Radiant To Look Upon In Palest Green Chiffon. She Had An Exquisite Little Head,  With Soft Hair Piled With Wondrous Lightness Upon It,  And Her Long Little Neck Swayed Like The Stem Of A Flower. She Was Lovely Enough To Arouse In The Beholder's Mind The Anticipation Of Her Being Silly,  But She Was Not Silly At All.   Lady Maria Commented Upon That Fact To Miss Fox-Seton When They Met In Her Bedroom Late That Night. Lady Maria Liked To Talk And Be Talked To For Half An Hour After The Day Was Over,  And Emily Fox-Seton's Admiring Interest In All She Said She Found At Once Stimulating And Soothing. Her Ladyship Was An Old Woman Who Indulged And Inspired Herself With An Epicurean Wisdom. Though She Would Not Have Stupid People About Her,  She Did Not Always Want Very Clever Ones.   "They Give Me Too Much Exercise," She Said. "The Epigrammatic Ones Keep Me Always Jumping Over Fences. Besides,  I Like To Make All The Epigrams Myself."   Emily Fox-Seton Struck A Happy Mean,  And She Was A Genuine Admirer. She Was Intelligent Enough Not To Spoil The Point Of An Epigram When She Repeated It,  And She Might Be Relied Upon To Repeat It And Give All The Glory To Its Originator. Lady Maria Knew There Were People Who,  Hearing Your Good Things,  Appropriated Them Without A Scruple. To-Night She Said A Number Of Good Things To Emily In Summing Up Her Guests And Their Characteristics.   "Walderhurst Has Been To Me Three Times When I Made Sure That He Would Not Escape Without A New Marchioness Attached To Him. I Should Think He Would Take One To Put An End To The Annoyance Of Dangling Unplucked Upon The Bough. A Man In His Position,  If He Has Character Enough To Choose, Can Prevent Even His Wife's Being A Nuisance. He Can Give Her A Good House,  Hang The Family Diamonds On Her,  Supply A Decent Elderly Woman As A Sort Of Lady-In-Waiting And Turn Her Into The Paddock To Kick Up Her Heels Within The Limits Of Decorum. His Own Rooms Can Be Sacred To Him. He Has His Clubs And His Personal Interests. Husbands And Wives Annoy Each Other Very Little In These Days. Married Life Has Become Comparatively Decent."   "I Should Think His Wife Might Be Very Happy," Commented Emily. "He Looks Very Kind."   "I Don't Know Whether He Is Kind Or Not. It Has Never Been Necessary For Me To Borrow Money From Him."   Lady Maria Was Capable Of Saying Odd Things In Her Refined Little Drawling Voice.   "He's More Respectable Than Most Men Of His Age. The Diamonds Are Magnificent,  And He Not Only Has Three Superb Places,  But Has Money Enough To Keep Them Up. Now,  There Are Three Aspirants At Mallowe In The Present Party. Of Course You Can Guess Who They Are,  Emily?"   Emily Fox-Seton Almost Blushed. She Felt A Little Indelicate.   "Lady Agatha Would Be Very Suitable," She Said. "And Mrs. Ralph Is Very Clever,  Of Course. And Miss Brooke Is Really Pretty."   Lady Maria Gave Vent To Her Small Chuckle.   "Mrs. Ralph Is The Kind Of Woman Who Means Business. She'll Corner Walderhurst And Talk Literature And Roll Her Eyes At Him Until He Hates Her. These Writing Women,  Who Are Intensely Pleased With Themselves,  If They Have Some Good Looks Into The Bargain,  Believe Themselves Capable Of Marrying Any One. Mrs. Ralph Has Ftoht Have Been Unconsciously Upon Her,  Guiding Her Spirit To Meekness,  If Not Yet Quite To Peace. Lord Hartledon Thought She Was Growing Strong; And, Save That She Would Rather Often Go Into A Passion Of Hysterical Tears As She Clasped Her Children To Her,  Particularly The Boy,  Her Days Passed Calmly Enough. She Indulged The Children Beyond All Reason,  And It Was Of No Use For Their Father To Interfere. Once When He Stepped In To Prevent It,  She Flew Out Almost Like A Tigress,  Asking What Business It Was Of His,  That He Should Dare To Come Between Her And Them. The Lesson Was An Effectual One; And He Never Interfered Again. But The Indulgence Was Telling On The Boy's Naturally Haughty Disposition; And Not For Good. Chapter 30 (In The Park) As The Days And Weeks Went On,  And Lord And Lady Hartledon Continued At Calne,  There Was One Circumstance That Began To Impress Itself On The Mind Of The Former In A Careless Sort Of Way--That He Was Constantly Meeting Pike. Go Out When He Would,  He Was Sure To See Pike In Some Out-Of-The-Way Spot; At A Sudden Turning,  Or Peering Forth From Under A Group Of Trees,  Or Watching Him From A Roadside Bank. One Special Day Impressed Itself On Lord Hartledon's Memory. He Was Walking Slowly Along The Road With Dr. Ashton,  And Found Pike Keeping Pace With Them Softly On The Other Side The Hedge,  Listening No Doubt To What He Could Hear. On One Of These Occasions Val Stopped And Confronted Him.   "What Is It You Want,  Mr. Pike?"   Perhaps Mr. Pike Was About The Last Man In The World To Be,  As The Saying Runs,  "Taken Aback," And He Stood His Ground,  And Boldly Answered "Nothing."   "It Seems As Though You Did," Said Val. "Go Where I Will,  You Are Sure To Spring Up Before Me,  Or To Be Peeping From Some Ambush As I Walk Along. It Will Not Do: Do You Understand?"   "I Was Just Thinking The Same Thing Yesterday--That Your Lordship Was Always Meeting _Me_," Said Pike. "No Offence On Either Side,  I Dare Say."   Val Walked On,  Throwing The Man A Significant Look Of Warning,  But Vouchsafing No Other Reply. After That Pike Was A Little More Cautious, And Kept Aloof For A Time; But Val Knew That He Was Still Watched On Occasion.   One Fine October Day,  When The Grain Had Been Gathered In And The Fields Were Bare With Stubble,  Hartledon,  Alone In One Of The Front Rooms,  Heard A Contest Going On Outside. Throwing Up The Window,  He Saw His Young Son Attempting To Mount The Groom's Pony: The Latter Objecting. At The Door Stood A Low Basket Carriage,  Harnessed With The Fellow Pony. They Belonged To Lady Hartledon; Sometimes She Drove Only One; And The Groom, A Young Lad Of Fourteen,  Light And Slim,  Rode The Other: Sometimes Both Ponies Were In The Carriage; And On Those Occasions The Boy Sat By Her Side,  And Drove.   "What's The Matter,  Edward?" Called Out Lord Hartledon To His Son.   "Young Lordship Wants To Ride The Pony,  My Lord," Said The Groom. "My Lady Ordered Me To Ride It."   At This Juncture Lady Hartledon Appeared On The Scene,  Ready For Her Drive. She Had Intended To Take Her Little Son With Her--As She Generally Did--But The Child Boisterously Demanded That He Should Ride The Pony For Once,  And She Weakly Yielded. Lord Hartledon's Private Opinion,  Looking On,  Was That She Was Literally Incapable Of Denying Him Any Earthly Thing He Chose To Demand. He Went Out.   "He Had Better Go With You In The Carriage,  Maude."   "Not At All. He Sits Very Well Now,  And The Pony's Perfectly Quiet."   "But He Is Too Young To Ride By The Side Of Any Vehicle. It Is Not Safe. Let Him Sit With You As Usual."   "Nonsense! Edward,  You Shall Ride The Pony. Help Him Up,  Ralph."   "No,  Maude. He--"   "Be Quiet!" Said Lady Hartledon,  Bending Towards Her Husband And Speaking In Low Tones. "It Is Not For You To Interfere. Would You Deny Him Everything?"   A Strangely Bitter Expression Sat On Val's Lips. Not Of Anger; Not Even Mortification,  But Sad,  Cruel Pain. He Said No More.   And The Cavalcade Started. Lady Hartledon Driving,  The Boy-Groom Sitting Beside Her,  And Eddie's Short Legs Striding The Pony. They Were Keeping To The Park,  She Called To Her Husband,  And She Should Drive Slowly.   There Was No Real Danger,  As Val Believed; Only He Did Not Like The Child's Wilful Temper Given Way To. With A Deep Sigh He Turned Indoors For His Hat,  And Went Strolling Down The Avenue. Mrs. Capper Dropped A Curtsey As He Passed The Lodge.   "Have You Heard From Your Son Yet?" He Asked.   "Yes,  My Lord,  Many Thanks To You. The School Suits Him Bravely."   Turning Out Of The Gates,  He Saw Floyd,  The Miller,  Walking Slowly Along. The Man Had Been Confined To His Bed For Weeks In The Summer,  With An Attack Of Acute Rheumatism,  And To The House Afterwards. It Was The First Time They Had Met Since That Morning Long Ago,  When The Miller Brought Up The Purse. Lord Hartledon Did Not Know Him At First,  He Was So Altered; Pale And Reduced.   "Is It Really You,  Floyd?"   "What's Left Of Me,  My Lord."   "And That's Not Much; But I Am Glad To See You So Far Well," Said Hartledon,  In His Usual Kindly Tone. "I Have Heard Reports Of You From Mr. Hillary."   "Your Lordship's Altered Too."   "Am I?"   "Well,  It Seems So To Me. But It's Some Few Years Now Since I Saw You. Nothing Has Ever Come To Light About That Pocket-Book,  My Lord."   "I Conclude Not,  Or I Should Have Heard Of It."   "And Your Lordship Never Came Down To See The Place!"   "No. I Left Hartledon The Same Day,  I Think,  Or The Next. After All, Floyd,  I Don't See That It Is Of Any Use Looking Into These Painful Things: It Cannot Bring The Dead To Life Again."   "That's,  True," Said The Miller.   He Was Walking Into Calne. Lord Hartledon Kept By His Side,  Talking To Him. He Promised To Be As Popular A Man As His Father Had Been; And That Was Saying A Great Deal. When They Came Opposite The Rectory,  Lord Hartledon Wished Him Good Day And More Strength,  In His Genial Manner, And Turned In At The Rectory Gates.   About Once A Week He Was In The Habit Of Calling Upon Mrs. Ashton. Peace Was Between Them; And These Visits To Her Sick-Chamber Were Strangely Welcome To Her Heart. She Had Loved Val Elster All Her Life,  And She Loved Him Still,  In Spite Of The Past. For Val Was Curiously Subdued; And His Present Mood,  Sad,  Quiet,  Thoughtful,  Was More Endearing Than His Gayer One Had Been. Mrs. Ashton Did Not Fail To Read That He Was A Disappointed Man,  One With Some Constant Care Upon Him.   Anne Was In The Hall When He Entered,  Talking To A Poor Applicant Who Was Waiting To See The Rector. Lord Hartledon Lifted His Hat To Her,  But Did Not Offer To Shake Hands. He Had Never Presumed To Touch Her Hand Since The Reconciliation; In Fact,  He Scarcely Ever Saw Her.   "How Is Mrs. Ashton To-Day?"   "A Little Better,  I Think. She Will Be Glad To See You."   He Followed The Servant Upstairs,  And Anne Turned To The Woman Again. Mrs. Ashton Was In An Easy-Chair Near The Window; He Drew One Close To Her.   "You Are Looking Wonderful To-Day,  Do You Know?" He Began In Tones Almost As Gay As Those Of The Light-Hearted Val Elster. "What Is It? That Very Becoming Cap?"   "The Cap,  Of Course. Don't You See Its Pink Ribbons? Your Favourite Colour Used To Be Pink,  Val. Do You Remember?"   "I Remember Everything. But Indeed And In Truth You Look Better,  Dear Mrs. Ashton."   "Yes,  Better To-Day," She Said,  With A Sigh. "I Shall Fluctuate To The End,  I Suppose; One Day Better,  The Next Worse. Val,  I Think Sometimes It Is Not Far Off Now."   Very Far Off He Knew It Could Not Be. But He Spoke Of Hope Still: It Was In His Nature To Do So. In The Depths Of His Heart,  So Hidden From The World,  There Seemed To Be Hope For The Whole Living Creation,  Himself Excepted.   "How Is Your Wife To-Day?"   "Quite Well. She And Edward Are Out With The Ponies And Carriage."   "She Never Comes To See Me."   "She Does Not Go To See Anyone. Though Well,  She's Not Very Strong Yet."   "But She's Young,  And Will Grow Strong. I Shall Only Grow Weaker. I Am Brave To-Day; But You Should Have Seen Me Last Night. So Prostrate! I Almost Doubted Whether I Should Rise From My Bed Again. I Do Not Think You Will Have To Come Here Many More Times."   "Oh,  Mrs. Ashton!"   "A Little Sooner Or A Little Later,  What Does It Matter,  I Try To Ask Myself; But Parting Is Parting,  And My Heart Aches Sometimes. One Of My Aches Will Be Leaving You."   "A Very Minor One Then," He Said,  With Deprecation; But Tears Shone In His Dark Blue Eyes.   "Not A Minor One. I Have Loved You As A Son. I Never Loved You More, Percival,  Than When That Letter Of Yours Came To Me At Cannes."   It Was The First Time She Had Alluded To It: The Letter Written The Evening Of His Marriage. Val's Face Turned Red,  For His Perfidy Rose Up Before Him In Its Full Extent Of Shame.   "I Don't Care To Speak Of That," He Whispered. "If You Only Knew What My Humiliation Has Been!"   "Not Of That,  No; I Don't Know Why I Mentioned It. But I Want You To Speak Of Something Else,  Val. Over And Over Again Has It Been On My Lips To Ask It. What Secret Trouble Is Weighing You Down?"   A Far Greater Change,  Than The One Called Up By Recollection And Its Shame,  Came Over His Face Now. He Did Not Speak; And Mrs. Ashton Continued. She Held His Hands As He Bent Towards Her.   "I Have Seen It All Along. At First--I Don't Mind Confessing It--I Took It For Granted That You Were On Bad Terms With Yourself On Account Of The Past. I Feared There Was Something Wrong Between You And Your Wife,  And That You Were Regretting Anne. But I Soon Put That Idea From Me,  To Replace It With A Graver One."   "What Graver One?" He Asked.   "Nay,  I Know Not. I Want You To Tell Me. Will You Do So?"   He Shook His Head With An Unmistakable Gesture,  Unconsciously Pressing Her Hands To Pain.   "Why Not?"   "You Have Just Said I Am Dear To You," He Whispered; "I Believe I Am So."   "As Dear,  Almost,  As My Own Children."   "Then Do Not Even Wish To Know It. It Is An Awful Secret; And I Must Bear It Without Sympathy Of Any Sort,  Alone And In Silence. It Has Been Upon Me For Some Years Now,  Taking The Sweetness Out Of My Daily Bread; And It Will,  I Suppose,  Go With Me To My Grave. Not Scarcely To Lift It Off My Shoulders,  Would I Impart It To _You_."   She Sighed Deeply; And Thought It Must Be Connected With Some Of His Youthful Follies. But She Loved Him Still; She Had Faith In Him; She Believed That He Went Wrong From Misfortune More Than From Fault.   "Courage,  Val," She Whispered. "There Is A Better World Than This, Where Sorrow And Sighing Cannot Enter. Patience--And Hope--And Trust In God!--Always Bearing Onwards. In Time We Shall Attain To It."   Lord Hartledon Gently Drew His Hands Away,  And Turned To The Window For A Moment's Respite. His Eyes Were Greeted With The Sight Of One Of His Own Servants,  Approaching The Rectory At Full Speed,  Some Half-Dozen Idlers Behind Him.   With A Prevision That Something Was Wrong,  He Said A Word Of Adieu To Mrs. Ashton,  Went Down,  And Met The Man Outside. Dr. Ashton,  Who Had Seen The Approach,  Also Hurried Out.   There Had Been Some Accident In The Park,  The Man Said. The Pony Had Swerved And Thrown Little Lord Elster: Thrown Him Right Under The Other Pony's Feet,  As It Seemed. The Servant Made Rather A Bungle Over His News,  But This Was Its Substance.   "And The Result? Is He Much Hurt?" Asked Lord Hartledon,  Constraining His Voice To Calmness.   "Well,  No; Not Hurt At All,  My Lord. He Was Up Again Soon,  Saying He'd Lash The Pony For Throwing Him. He Don't Seem Hurt A Bit."   "Then Why Need You Have Alarmed Us So?" Interrupted Dr. Ashton, Reprovingly.   "Well,  Sir,  It's Her Ladyship Seems Hurt--Or Something," Cried The Man.   Lord Hartledon Looked At Him.   "What Have You Come To Tell,  Richard? Speak Out."   Apparently Richard Could Not Speak Out. His Lady Had Been Frightened And Fainted,  And Did Not Come To Again. And Lord Hartledon Waited To Hear No More.   The People,  Standing About In The Park Here And There--For Even This Slight Accident Had Gathered Its Idlers Together--Seemed To Look At Lord Hartledon Curiously As He Passed Them. Close To The House He Met Ralph The Groom. The Boy Was Crying.   "'Twasn't No Fault Of Anybody's,  My Lord; And There Ain't Any Damage To The Ponies," He Began,  Hastening To Excuse Himself. "The Little Lord Only Slid Off,  And They Stood As Quiet As Quiet. There Wasn't No Cause For My Lady's Fear."   "Is She Fainting Still?"   "They Say She's--Dead."   Lord Hartledon Pressed Onwards,  And Met Mr. Hillary At The Hall-Door. The Surgeon Took His Arm And Drew Him Into An Empty Room.   "Hillary! Is It True?"   "I'm Afraid It Is."   Lord Hartledon Felt His Sight Failing. For A Moment He Was A Man Groping In The Dark. Steadying Himself Against The Wall,  He Learned The Details.   The Child's Pony Had Swerved. Ralph Could Not Tell At What,  And Lady Hartledon Did Not Survive To Tell. She Was Looking At Him At The Time, And Saw Him Flung Under The Feet Of The Other Pony,  And She Rose Up In The Carriage With A Scream,  And Then Fell Back Into The Seat Again. Ralph Jumped Out And Picked Up The Child,  Who Was Not Hurt At All; But When He Hastened To Tell Her This,  He Saw That She Seemed To Have No Life In Her. One Of The Servants,  Richard,  Happened To Be Going Through The Park, Within Sight; Others Soon Came Up; And Whilst Lady Hartledon Was Being Driven Home Richard Ran For Mr. Hillary,  And Then Sought His Master,  Whom He Found At The Rectory. The Surgeon Had Found Her Dead.   "It Must Have Been Instantaneous," He Observed In Low Tones As He Concluded These Particulars. "One Great Consolation Is,  That She Was Spared All Suffering."   "And Its Cause?" Breathed Lord Hartledon.   "The Heart. I Don't Entertain The Least Doubt About It."   "You Said She Had No Heart Disease. Others Said It."   "I Said,  If She Had It,  It Was Not Developed. Sudden Death From It Is Not At All Uncommon Where Disease Has Never Been Suspected."   And This Was All The Conclusion Come To In The Case Of Lady Hartledon. Examination Proved The Surgeon's Surmise To Be Correct; And In Answer To A Certain Question Put By Lord Hartledon,  He Said The Death Was Entirely Irrespective Of Any Trouble,  Or Care,  Or Annoyance She Might Have Had In The Past; Irrespective Even Of Any Shock,  Except The Shock At The Moment Of Death,  Caused By Seeing The Child Thrown. That,  And That Alone,  Had Been The Fatal Cause. Lord Hartledon Listened To This,  And Went Away To His Lonely Chamber And Fell On His Knees In Devout Thankfulness To Heaven That He Was So Far Innocent.   "If She Had Not Given Way To The Child!" He Bitterly Aspirated In The First Moments Of Sorrow.   That The Countess-Dowager Should Come Down Post-Haste And Invade Hartledon,  Was Of Course Only Natural; And Lord Hartledon Strove Not To Rebel Against It. But She Made Herself So Intensely And Disagreeably Officious That His Patience Was Sorely Tried. Her First Act Was To Insist On A Stately Funeral. He Had Given Orders For One Plain And Quiet In Every Way; But She Would Have Her Wish Carried Out,  And Raved About The House,  Abusing Him For His Meanness And Want Of Respect To His Dead Wife. For Peace' Sake,  He Was Fain To Give Her Her Way; And The Funeral Was Made As Costly As She Pleased. Thomas Carr Came Down To It; And The Countess-Dowager Was Barely Civil To Him.   Her Next Care Was To Assume The Entire Management Of The Two Children, Putting Lord Hartledon's Authority Over Them At Virtual,  If Not Actual, Defiance. The Death Of Her Daughter Was In Truth A Severe Blow To The Dowager; Not From Love,  For She Really Possessed No Natural Affection At All,  But From Fear That She Should Lose Her Footing In The House Which Was So Desirable A Refuge. As A Preliminary Step Against This,  She Began To Endeavour To Make It More Firm And Secure. Altogether She Was Rendering Hartledon Unbearable; And Val Would Often Escape From It, His Boy In His Hand,  And Take Refuge With Mrs. Ashton.   That Lord Hartledon's Love For His Children Was Intense There Could Be No Question About; But It Was Nevertheless Of A Peculiarly Reticent Nature. He Had Rarely,  If Ever,  Been Seen To Caress Them. The Boy Told Tales Of How Papa Would Kiss Him,  Even Weep Over Him,  In Solitude; But He Would Not Give Him So Much As An Endearing Name In The Presence Of Others. Poor Maude Had Called Him All The Pet Names In A Fond Mother's Vocabulary; Lord Hartledon Always Called Him Edward,  And Nothing More.   A Few Evenings After The Funeral Had Taken Place,  Mirrable,  Who Had Been Into Calne,  Was Hurrying Back In The Twilight. As She Passed Jabez Gum's Gate,  The Clerk's Wife Was Standing At It,  Talking To Mrs. Jones. The Two Were Laughing: Mrs. Gum Seemed In A Less Depressed State Than Usual,  And The Other Less Snappish.   "Is It You!" Exclaimed Mrs. Jones,  As Mirrable Stopped. "I Was Just Saying I'd Not Set Eyes On You In Your New Mourning."   "And Laughing Over It," Returned Mirrable.   "No!" Was Mrs. Jones's Retort. "I'd Been Telling Of A Trick I Served Jones,  And Nance Was Laughing At That. Silk And Crepe! It's Fine To Be You,  Mrs. Mirrable!"   "How's Jabez,  Nancy?" Asked Mirrable,  Passing Over Mrs. Jones's Criticism.   "He's Gone To Garchester," Replied Mrs. Gum,  Who Was Given To Indirect Answers. "I Thought I Was Never Going To See You Again,  Mary."   "You Could Not Expect To See Me Whilst The House Was In Its Recent State," Answered Mirrable. "We Have Been In A Bustle,  As You May Suppose."   "You've Not Had Many Staying There."   "Only Mr. Carr; And He Left To-Day. We've Got The Old Countess-Dowager Still."   "And Likely To Have Her,  If All's True That's Said," Put In Mrs. Jones.   Mirrable Tacitly Admitted The Probability. Her Private Opinion Was That Nothing Short Of A Miracle Could Ever Remove The Dowager Kirton From The House Again. Had Any One Told Mirrable,  As She Stood There,  That Her Ladyship Would Be Leaving Of Her Own Accord That Night,  She Had Simply Said It Was Impossible.   "Mary," Cried The Weak Voice Of Poor Timid Mrs. Gum,  "How Was It None Of The Brothers Came To The Funeral? Jabez Was Wondering. She Had A Lot, I've Heard."   "It Was Not Convenient To Them,  I Suppose," Replied Mirrable. "The One In The Isle Of Wight Had Gone Cruising In Somebody's Yacht,  Or He'd Have Come With The Dowager; And Lord Kirton Telegraphed From Ireland That He Was Prevented Coming. I Know Nothing About The Rest."   "It Was An Awful Death!" Shivered Mrs. Gum. "And Without Cause Too; For The Child Was Not Hurt After All. Isn't My Lord Dreadfully Cut Up,  Mary?"   "I Think So; He's Very Quiet And Subdued. But He Has Seemed Full Of Sorrow For A Long While,  As If He Had Some Dreadful Care Upon Him. I Don't Think He And His Wife Were Very Happy Together," Added Mirrable. "My Lord's Likely To Make Hartledon His Chief Residence Now,  I Fancy, For--My Gracious! What's That?"   A Crash As If A Whole Battery Of Crockery Had Come Down Inside The House. A Moment Of Staring Consternation Ensued,  And Nervous Mrs. Gum Looked Ready To Faint. The Two Women Disappeared Indoors,  And Mirrable Turned Homewards At A Brisk Pace. But She Was Not To Go On Without An Interruption. Pike's Head Suddenly Appeared Above The Hurdles,  And He Began Inquiring After Her Health. "Toothache Gone?" Asked He.   "Yes," She Said,  Answering Straightforwardly In Her Surprise. "How Did You Know I Had Toothache?" It Was Not The First Time By Several He Had Thus Accosted Her; And To Give Her Her Due,  She Was Always Civil To Him. Perhaps She Feared To Be Otherwise.   "I Heard Of It. And So My Lord Hartledon's Like A Man With Some Dreadful Care Upon Him!" He Went On. "What Is The Care?"   "You Have Been Eavesdropping!" She Angrily Exclaimed.   "Not A Bit Of It. I Was Seated Under The Hedge With My Pipe,  And You Three Women Began Talking. I Didn't Tell You To. Well,  What's His Lordship's Care?"   "Just Mind Your Own Business,  And His Lordship Will Mind His," She Retorted. "You'll Get Interfered With In A Way You Won't Like,  Pike,  One Of These Days,  Unless You Mend Your Manners."   "A Great Care On Him," Nodded Pike To Himself,  Looking After Her,  As She Walked Off In Her Anger. "A Great Care! _I_ Know. One Of These Fine Days, My Lord,  I May Be Asking You Questions About It On My Own Score. I Might Long Before This,  But For--"   The Sentence Broke Off Abruptly,  And Ended With A Growl At Things In General. Mr. Pike Was Evidently Not In A Genial Mood.   Mirrable Reached Home To Find The Countess-Dowager In A State More Easily Imagined Than Described. Some Sprite,  Favourable To The Peace Of Hartledon,  Had Been Writing Confidentially From Ireland Regarding Kirton And His Doings. That Her Eldest Son Was About To Steal A March On Her And Marry Again Seemed Almost Indisputably Clear; And The Miserable Dowager, Dancing Her War-Dance And Uttering Reproaches,  Was Repacking Her Boxes In Haste. Those Boxes,  Which She Had Fondly Hoped Would Never Again Leave Hartledon,  Unless It Might Be For Sojourns In Park Lane! She Was Going Back To Ireland To Mount Guard,  And Prevent Any Such Escapade. Only In September Had She Quitted Him--And Then Had Been As Nearly Ejected As A Son Could Eject His Mother With Any Decency--And Had Taken The Isle Of Wight On Her Way To Hartledon. The Son Who Lived In The Isle Of Wight Had Espoused A Widow Twice His Own Age,  With Eleven Hundred A Year,  And A House And Carriage; So That He Had A Home: Which The Countess-Dowager Sometimes Remembered.   Lord Hartledon Was Liberal. He Gave Her A Handsome Sum For Her Journey, And A Cheque Besides; Most Devoutly Praying That She Might Keep Guard Over Kirton For Ever. He Escorted Her To The Station Himself In A Closed Carriage,  An Omnibus Having Gone Before Them With A Mountain Of Boxes, At Which All Calne Came Out To Stare.   And The Same Week,  Confiding His Children To The Joint Care Of Mirrable And Their Nurse--An Efficient,  Kind,  And Judicious Woman--Lord Hartledon Departed From Home And England For A Sojourn On The Continent,  Long Or Short,  As Inclination Might Lead Him,  Feeling As A Bird Released From Its Cage. Chapter 31 (Coming Home)   Some Eighteen Months After The Event Recorded In The Last Chapter,  A Travelling Carriage Dashed Up To A House In Park Lane One Wet Evening In Spring. It Contained Lord Hartledon And His Second Wife. They Were Expected,  And The Servants Were Assembled In The Hall.   Lord Hartledon Led Her Into Their Midst,  Proudly,  Affectionately; As He Had Never In His Life Led Any Other. Ah,  You Need Not Ask Who She Was; He Had Contrived To Win Her,  To Win Over Dr. Ashton; And His Heart Had At Length Found Rest. Her Fair Countenance,  Her Thoughtful Eyes And Sweet Smile Were Turned On The Servants,  Thanking Them For Their Greeting.   "All Well,  Hedges?" Asked Lord Hartledon.   "Quite Well,  My Lord. But We Are Not Alone."   "No!" Said Val,  Stopping In His Progress. "Who's Here?"   "The Countess-Dowager Of Kirton,  My Lord," Replied Hedges,  Glancing At Lady Hartledon In Momentary Hesitation.   "Oh,  Indeed!" Said Val,  As If Not Enjoying The Information. "Just See, Hedges,  That The Things Inside The Carriage Are All Taken Out. Don't Come Up,  Mrs. Ball; I Will Take Lady Hartledon To Her Rooms."   It Was The Light-Hearted Val Of The Old,  Old Days; His Face Free From Care,  His Voice Gay. He Did Not Turn Into Any Of The Reception-Rooms,  But Led His Wife At Once To Her Chamber. It Was Nearly Dinner-Time,  And He Knew She Was Tired.   "Welcome Home,  My Darling!" He Whispered Tenderly Ere Releasing Her. "A Thousand Welcomes To You,  My Dear,  Dear Wife!"   Tears Rose To His Eyes With The Fervour Of The Wish. Heaven Alone Knew What The Past Had Been; The Contrast Between That Time And This.   "I Will Dress At Once,  Percival," She Said,  After A Few Moments' Pause. "I Must See Your Children Before Dinner. Heaven Helping Me,  I Shall Love Them And Always Act By Them As If They Were My Own."   "I Am So Sorry She Is Here,  Anne--That Terrible Old Woman. You Heard Hedges Say Lady Kirton Had Arrived. Her Visit Is Ill-Timed."   "I Shall Be Glad To Welcome Her,  Val."   "It Is More Than I Shall Be," Replied Val,  As His Wife's Maid Came Into The Room,  And He Quitted It. "I'll Bring The Children To You,  Anne."   They Had Been Married Nearly Five Weeks. Anne Had Not Seen The Children For Several Months. The Little Child,  Edward,  Had Shown Symptoms Of Delicacy,  And For Nearly A Year The Children Had Sojourned At The Seaside,  Having Been Brought To The Town-House Just Before Their Father's Marriage.   The Nursery Was Empty,  And Lord Hartledon Went Down. In The Passage Outside The Drawing-Room Was Hedges,  Evidently Waiting For His Master, And With A Budget To Unfold.   "When Did She Come,  Hedges?"   "My Lord,  It Was Only A Few Days After Your Marriage," Replied Hedges. "She Arrived In The Most Outrageous Tantrum--If I Shall Not Offend Your Lordship By Saying So--And Has Been Here Ever Since,  Completely Upsetting Everything."   "What Was Her Tantrum About?"   "On Account Of Your Having Married Again,  My Lord. She Stood In The Hall For Five Minutes When She Got Here,  Saying The Most Audacious Things Against Your Lordship And Miss Ashton--I Mean My Lady," Corrected Hedges.   "The Old Hag!" Muttered Lord Hartledon.   "I Think She's Insane At Times,  My Lord; I Really Do. The Fits Of Passion She Flies Into Are Quite Bad Enough For Insanity. The Housekeeper Told Me This Morning She Feared She Would Be Capable Of Striking My Lady,  When She First Saw Her. I'm Afraid,  Too,  She Has Been Schooling The Children."   Lord Hartledon Strode Into The Drawing-Room. There,  As Large As Life--And A Great Deal Larger Than Most Lives--Was The Dowager-Countess. Fortunately She Had Not Heard The Arrival: In Fact,  She Had Dropped Into A Doze Whilst Waiting For It; And She Started Up When Val Entered.   "How Are You,  Ma'am?" Asked He. "You Have Taken Me By Surprise."   "Not Half As Much As Your Wicked Letter Took Me," Screamed The Old Dowager. "Oh,  You Vile Man! To Marry Again In This Haste! You--You--I Can't Find Words That I Should Not Be Ashamed Of; But Hamlet's Mother,  In The Play,  Was Nothing To It."   "It Is Some Time Since I Read The Play," Returned Hartledon,  Controlling His Temper Under An Assumption Of Indifference. "If My Memory Serves Me, The 'Funeral Baked Meats Did Coldly Furnish Forth The Marriage Table.' _My_ Late Wife Has Been Dead Eighteen Months,  Lady Kirton."   "Eighteen Months! For Such A Wife As Maude Was To You!" Raved The Dowager. "You Ought To Have Mourned Her Eighteen Years. Anybody Else Would. I Wish I Had Never Let You Have Her."   Lord Hartledon Wished It Likewise,  With All His Heart And Soul; Had Wished It In His Wife's Lifetime.   "Lady Kirton,  Listen To Me! Let Us Understand Each Other. Your Visit Here Is Ill-Timed; You Ought To Feel It So; Nevertheless,  If You Stay It Out, You Must Observe Good Manners. I Shall Be Compelled To Request You To Terminate It If You Fail One Iota In The Respect Due To This House's Mistress,  My Beloved And Honoured Wife."   "Your _Beloved_ Wife! Do You Dare To Say It To Me?"   "Ay; Beloved,  Honoured And Respected As No Woman Has Ever Been By Me Yet, Or Ever Will Be Again," He Replied,  Speaking Too Plainly In His Warmth.   "What A False-Hearted Monster!" Cried The Dowager,  Shrilly, Apostrophizing The Walls And The Mirrors. "What Then Was Maude?"   "Maude Is Gone,  And I Counsel You Not To Bring Up Her Name To Me," Said Val,  Sternly. "Your Treachery Forced Maude Upon Me; And Let Me Tell You Now,  Lady Kirton,  If I Have Never Told You Before,  That It Wrought Upon Her The Most Bitter Wrong Possible To Be Inflicted; Which She Lived To Learn. I Was A Vacillating Simpleton,  And You Held Me In Your Trammels. The Less We Rake Up Old Matters The Better. Things Have Altered. I Am Altered. The Moral Courage I Once Lacked Does Not Fail Me Now; And I Have At Least Sufficient To Hold My Own Against The World,  And Protect From Insult The Lady I Have Made My Wife. I Beg Your Pardon If My Words Seem Harsh; They Are True; And I Am Sorry You Have Forced Them From Me."   She Was Standing Still For A Moment,  Staring At Him,  Not Altogether Certain Of Her Ground.   "Where Are The Children?" He Asked.   "Where You Can't Get At Them," She Rejoined Hotly. "You Have Your Beloved Wife; You Don't Want Them."   He Rang The Bell,  More Loudly Than He Need Have Done; But His Usually Sweet Temper Was Provoked. A Footman Came In.   "Tell The Nurse To Bring Down The Children."   "They Are Not At Home,  My Lord."   "Not At Home! Surely They Are Not Out In This Rain!--And So Late!"   "They Went Out This Afternoon,  My Lord: And Have Not Come In,  I Believe."   "There,  That Will Do," Tartly Interposed The Dowager. "You Don't Know Anything About It,  And You May Go."   "Lady Kirton,  Where Are The Children?"   "Where You Can't Get At Them,  I Say," Was Lady Kirton's Response. "You Don't Think I Am Going To Suffer Maude's Children To Be Domineered Over By A Wretch Of A Step-Mother--Perhaps Poisoned."   He Confronted Her In His Wrath,  His Eyes Flashing.   "Madam!"   "Oh,  You Need Not 'Madam' Me. Maude's Gone,  And I Shall Act For Her."   "I Ask You Where My Children Are?"   "I Have Sent Them Away; You May Make The Most Of The Information. And When I Have Remained Here As Long As I Choose,  I Shall Take Them With Me, And Keep Them,  And Bring Them Up. You Can At Once Decide What Sum You Will Allow Me For Their Education And Maintenance: Two Maids,  A Tutor, A Governess,  Clothes,  Toys,  And Pocket-Money. It Must Be A Handsome Sum, Paid Quarterly In Advance. And I Mean To Take A House In London For Their Accommodation,  And Shall Expect You To Pay The Rent."   The Coolness With Which This Was Delivered Turned Val's Angry Feelings Into Amusement. He Could Not Help Laughing As He Looked At Her.   "You Cannot Have My Children,  Lady Kirton."   "They Are Maude's Children," Snapped The Dowager.   "But I Presume You Admit That They Are Likewise Mine. And I Shall Certainly Not Part With Them."   "If You Oppose Me In This,  I'll Put Them Into Chancery," Cried The Dowager. "I Am Their Nearest Relative,  And Have A Right To Them."   "Nearest Relative!" He Repeated. "You Must Have Lost Your Senses. I Am Their Father."   "And Have You Lived To See Thirty,  And Never Learnt That Men Don't Count For Anything In The Bringing Up Of Infants?" Shrilly Asked The Dowager. "If They Had Ten Fathers,  What's That To The Lord Chancellor? No More Than Ten Blocks Of Wood. What They Want Is A Mother."   "And I Have Now Given Them One."   Without Another Word,  With The Red Flush Of Emotion On His Cheek,  He Went Up To His Wife's Room. She Was Alone Then,  Dressed,  And Just Coming Out Of It. He Put His Arm Round Her To Draw Her In Again,  As He Shortly Explained The Annoyance Their Visitor Was Causing Him.   "You Must Stay Here,  My Dearest,  Until I Can Go Down With You," He Added. "She Is In A Vile Humour,  And I Do Not Choose That You Should Encounter Her,  Unprotected By Me."   "But Where Are You Going,  Val?"   "Well,  I Really Think I Shall Get A Policeman In,  And Frighten Her Into Saying What She Has Done With The Children. She'll Never Tell Unless Forced Into It."   Anne Laughed,  And Hartledon Went Down. He Had In Good Truth A Great Mind To See What The Effect Would Be. The Old Woman Was Not A Reasonable Being,  And He Felt Disposed To Show Her Very Little Consideration. As He Stood At The Hall-Door Gazing Forth,  Who Should Arrive But Thomas Carr. Not Altogether By Accident; He Had Come Up Exploring,  To See If There Were Any Signs Of Val's Return.   "Ah! Home At Last,  Hartledon!"   "Carr,  What Happy Wind Blew You Hither?" Cried Val,  As He Grasped The Hands Of His Trusty Friend. "You Can Terrify This Woman With The Thunders Of The Law If She Persists In Kidnapping Children That Don't Belong To Her." And He Forthwith Explained The State Of Affairs.   Mr. Carr Laughed.   "She Will Not Keep Them Away Long. She Is No Fool,  That Countess-Dowager. It Is A Ruse,  No Doubt,  To Induce You To Give Them Up To Her."   "Give Them Up To Her,  Indeed!" Val Was Beginning,  When Hedges Advanced To Him.   "Mrs. Ball Says The Children Have Only Gone To Madame Tussaud's,  My Lord," Quoth He. "The Nurse Told Her So When She Went Out."   "I Wish She Was Herself One Of Madame Tussaud's Figure-Heads!" Cried Val. "Mr. Carr Dines Here,  Hedges. Nonsense,  Carr; You Can't Refuse. Never Mind Your Coat; Anne Won't Mind. I Want You To Make Acquaintance With Her."   "How Did You Contrive To Win Over Dr. Ashton?" Asked Thomas Carr,  As He Went In.   "I Put The Matter Before Him In Its True Light," Answered Val,  "Asking Him Whether,  If Anne Forgave Me,  He Would Condemn Us To Live Out Our Lives Apart From Each Other: Or Whether He Would Not Act The Part Of A Good Christian,  And Give Her To Me,  That I Might Strive To Atone For The Past."   "And He Did So?"   "After A Great Deal Of Trouble. There's No Time To Give You Details. I Had A Powerful Advocate In Anne's Heart. She Had Never Forgotten Me,  For All My Misconduct."   "You Have Been A Lucky Man At Last,  Taking One Thing With Another."   "You May Well Say So," Was The Answer,  In Tones Of Deep Feeling. "Moments Come Over Me When I Fear I Am About To Awake And Find The Present A Dream. I Am Only Now Beginning To _Live_. The Past Few Years Have Been--You Know What,  Carr."   He Sent The Barrister Into The Drawing Room,  Went Upstairs For Anne,  And Brought Her In On His Arm. The Dowager Was In Her Chamber,  Attiring Herself In Haste.   "My Wife,  Carr," Said Hartledon,  With A Loving Emphasis On The Word. She Was In An Evening Dress Of White And Black,  Not Having Yet Put Off Mourning For Mrs. Ashton,  And Looked Very Lovely; Far More Lovely In Thomas Carr's Eyes Than Lady Maude,  With Her Dark Beauty,  Had Ever Looked. She Held Out Her Hand To Him With A Frank Smile.   "I Have Heard So Much Of You,  Mr. Carr,  That We Seem Like Old Friends. I Am Glad You Have Come To See Me So Soon."   "My Being Here This Evening Is An Accident,  Lady Hartledon,  As You May See By My Dress," He Returned. "I Ought Rather To Apologize For Intruding On You In The Hour Of Your Arrival."   "Don't Talk About Intrusion," Said Val. "You Will Never Be An Intruder In My House--And Anne's Smile Is Telling You The Same--"   "Who's That,  Pray?"   The Interruption Came From The Countess-Dowager. There She Stood,  Near The Door,  In A Yellow Gown And Green Turban. Val Drew Himself Up And Approached Her,  His Wife Still On His Arm. "Madam," Said He,  In Reply To Her Question,  "This Is My Wife,  Lady Hartledon."   The Dowager's Gauzes Made Acquaintance With The Carpet In So Elaborate A Curtsey As To Savour Of Mockery,  But Her Eyes Were Turned Up To The Ceiling; Not A Word Or Look Gave She To The Young Lady.   "The Other One,  I Meant," Cried She,  Nodding Towards Thomas Carr.   "It Is My Friend Mr. Carr. You Appear To Have Forgotten Him."   "I Hope You Are Well,  Ma'am," Said He,  Advancing Towards Her.   Another Curtsey,  And The Countess-Dowager Fanned Herself,  And Sailed Towards The Fireplace.   Meanwhile The Children Came Home In A Cab From Madame Tussaud's,  And Dinner Was Announced. Lord Hartledon Was Obliged To Take Down The Countess-Dowager,  Resigning His Wife To Mr. Carr. Dinner Passed Off Pretty Well,  The Dowager Being Too Fully Occupied To Be Annoying; Also The Good Cheer Caused Her Temper To Thaw A Little. Afterwards,  The Children Came In; Edward,  A Bold,  Free Boy Of Five,  Who Walked Straight Up To His Grandmother,  Saluting No One; And Maude,  A Timid,  Delicate Little Child,  Who Stood Still In The Middle Of The Carpet Where The Maid Placed Her.   The Dowager Was Just Then Too Busy To Pay Attention To The Children,  But Anne Held Out Her Hand With A Smile. Upon Which The Child Drew Up To Her Father,  And Hid Her Face In His Coat.   He Took Her Up,  And Carried Her To His Wife,  Placing Her Upon Her Knee. "Maude," He Whispered,  "This Is Your Mamma,  And You Must Love Her Very Much,  For She Loves You."   Anne's Arms Fondly Encircled The Child; But She Began To Struggle To Get Down.   "Bad Manners,  Maude," Said Her Father.   "She's Afraid Of Her," Spoke Up The Boy,  Who Had The Dark Eyes And Beautiful Features Of His Late Mother. "We Are Afraid Of Bad People."   The Observation Passed Momentarily Unnoticed,  For Maude,  Whom Lady Hartledon Had Been Obliged To Release,  Would Not Be Pacified. But When Calmness Ensued,  Lord Hartledon Turned To The Boy,  Just Then Assisting Himself To Some Pineapple.   "What Did I Hear You Say About Bad People,  Edward?"   "She," Answered The Boy,  Pointing Towards Lady Hartledon. "She Shan't Touch Maude. She's Come Here To Beat Us,  And I'll Kick If She Touches Me."   Lord Hartledon,  With An Unmistakable Look At The Countess-Dowager,  Rose From His Seat In Silence And Rang The Bell. There Could Be No Correction In The Presence Of The Dowager; He And Anne Must Undo Her Work Alone. Carrying The Little Girl In One Arm,  He Took The Boy's Hand,  And Met The Servant At The Door.   "Take These Children Back To The Nursery."   "I Want Some Strawberries," The Boy Called Out Rebelliously.   "Not To-Day," Said His Father. "You Know Quite Well That You Have Behaved Badly."   His Wife's Face Was Painfully Flushed. Mr. Carr Was Critically Examining The Painted Landscape On His Plate; And The Turban Was Enjoying Some Fruit With Perfect Unconcern. Lord Hartledon Stood An Instant Ere He Resumed His Seat.   "Anne," He Said In A Voice That Trembled In Spite Of Its Displeased Tones,  "Allow Me To Beg Your Pardon,  And I Do It With Shame That This Gratuitous Insult Should Have Been Offered You In Your Own House. A Day Or Two Will,  I Hope,  Put Matters On Their Right Footing; The Poor Children,  As You See,  Have Been Tutored."   "Are You Going To Keep The Port By You All Night,  Hartledon?"   Need You Ask From Whom Came The Interruption? Mr. Carr Passed It Across To Her,  Leaving Her To Help Herself; And Lord Hartledon Sat Down,  Biting His Delicate Lips.   When The Dowager Seemed To Have Finished,  Anne Rose. Mr. Carr Rose Too As Soon As They Had Retired.   "I Have An Engagement,  Hartledon,  And Am Obliged To Run Away. Make My Adieu To Your Wife."   "Carr,  Is It Not A Crying Shame?--Enough To Incense Any Man?"   "It Is. The Sooner You Get Rid Of Her The Better."   "That's Easier Said Than Done."   When Lord Hartledon Reached The Drawing-Room,  The Dowager Was Sleeping Comfortably. Looking About For His Wife,  He Found Her In The Small Room Maude Used To Make Exclusively Her Own,  Which Was Not Lighted Up. She Was Standing At The Window,  And Her Tears Were Quietly Falling. He Drew Her Face To His Own.   "My Darling,  Don't Let It Grieve You! We Shall Soon Right It All."   "Oh,  Percival,  If The Mischief Should Have Gone Too Far!--If They Should Never Look Upon Me Except As A Step-Mother! You Don't Know How Sick And Troubled This Has Made Me Feel! I Wanted To Go To Them In The Nursery When I Came Up,  And Did Not Dare! Perhaps The Nurse Has Also Been Prejudiced Against Me!"   "Come Up With Me Now,  Love," He Whispered.   They Went Silently Upstairs,  And Found The Children Were Then In Bed And Asleep. They Were Tired With Sight-Seeing,  The Nurse Said Apologetically, Curtseying To Her New Mistress.   The Nurse Withdrew,  And They Stood Over The Nursery Fire,  Talking. Anne Could Scarcely Account For The Extreme Depression The Event Seemed To Have Thrown Upon Her. Lord Hartledon Quickly Recovered His Spirits, Vowing He Should Like To "Serve Out" The Dowager.   "I Was Thankful For One Thing,  Val; That You Did Not Betray Anger To Them,  Poor Little Things. It Would Have Made It Worse."   "I Was On The Point Of Betraying Something More Than Anger To Edward; But The Thought That I Should Be Punishing Him For Another's Fault Checked Me. I Wonder How We Can Get Rid Of Her?"   "We Must Strive To Please Her While She Stays."   "Please Her!" He Echoed. "Anne,  My Dear,  That Is Stretching Christian Charity Rather Too Far."   Anne Smiled. "I Am A Clergyman's Daughter,  You Know,  Val."   "If She Is Wise,  She'll Abstain From Offending You In My Presence. I'm Not Sure But I Should Lose Command Of Myself,  And Send Her Off There And Then."   "I Don't Fear That. She Was Quite Civil When We Came Up From Dinner, And--"   "As She Generally Is Then. She Takes Her Share Of Wine."   "And Asked Me If I Would Excuse Her Falling Into A Doze,  For She Never Felt Well Without It."   Anne Was Right. The Cunning Old Woman Changed Her Tactics,  Finding Those She Had Started Would Not Answer. It Has Been Remarked Before,  If You Remember,  That She Knew Particularly Well On Which Side Her Bread Was Buttered. Nothing Could Exceed Her Graciousness From That Evening. The Past Scene Might Have Been A Dream,  For All Traces That Remained Of It. Out Of The House She Was Determined Not To Go In Anger; It Was Too Desirable A Refuge For That. And On The Following Day,  Upon Hearing Edward Attempt Some Impudent Speech To His New Mother,  She Put Him Across Her Knee,  Pulled Off An Old Slipper She Was Wearing,  And Gave Him A Whipping. Anne Interposed,  The Boy Roared; But The Good Woman Had Her Way.   "Don't Put Yourself Out,  Dear Lady Hartledon. There's Nothing So Good For Them As A Wholesome Whipping. I Used To Try It On My Own Children At Times."   Chapter 32 (Mr. Pike On The Wing)   The Time Went On. It May Have Been Some Twelve Or Thirteen Months Later That Mr. Carr,  Sitting Alone In His Chambers,  One Evening,  Was Surprised By The Entrance Of His Clerk--Who Possessed A Latch-Key As Well As Himself.   "Why,  Taylor! What Brings You Here?"   "I Thought You Would Most Likely Be In,  Sir," Replied The Clerk. "Do You Remember Some Few Years Ago Making Inquiries About A Man Named Gorton--And You Could Not Find Him?"   "And Never Have Found Him," Was Mr. Carr's Comment. "Well?"   "I Have Seen Him This Evening. He Is Back In London."   Thomas Carr Was Not A Man To Be Startlingly Affected By Any Communication; Nevertheless He Felt The Importance Of This,  For Lord Hartledon's Sake.   "I Met Him By Chance,  In A Place Where I Sometimes Go Of An Evening To Smoke A Cigar,  And Learned His Name By Accident," Continued Mr. Taylor. "It's The Same Man That Was At Kedge And Reck's,  George Gorton; He Acknowledged It At Once,  Quite Readily."   "And Where Has He Been Hiding Himself?"   "He Has Been In Australia For Several Years,  He Says; Went There Directly After He Left Kedge And Reck's That Autumn."   "Could You Get Him Here,  Taylor? I Must See Him. Tell Me: What Coloured Hair Has He?"   "Red,  Sir; And Plenty Of It. He Says He's Doing Very Well Over There, And Has Only Come Home For A Short Change. He Does Not Seem To Be In Concealment,  And Gave Me His Address When I Asked Him For It."   According To Mr. Carr's Wish,  The Man Gorton Was Brought To His Chambers The Following Morning By Taylor. To The Barrister's Surprise,  A Well-Dressed And Really Rather Gentlemanly Man Entered. He Had Been Accustomed To Picturing This Gorton As An Arab Of London Life. Casting A Keen Glance At The Red Hair,  He Saw It Was Indisputably His Own.   A Few Rapid Questions,  Which Gorton Answered Without The Slightest Demur, And Mr. Carr Leaned Back In His Chair,  Knowing That All The Trouble He Had Been At To Find This Man Might Have Been Spared: For He Was Not The George Gordon They Had Suspected. But Mr. Carr Was Cautious,  And Betrayed Nothing.   "I Am Sorry To Have Troubled You," He Said. "When I Inquired For You Of Kedge And Reck Some Years Ago,  It Was Under The Impression That You Were Some One Else. You Had Left; And They Did Not Know Where To Find You."   "Yes,  I Had Displeased Them Through Arresting A Wrong Man,  And Other Things. I Was Down In The World Then,  And Glad To Do Anything For A Living,  Even To Serving Writs."   "You Arrested The Late Lord Hartledon For His Brother," Observed Mr. Carr,  With A Careless Smile. "I Heard Of It. I Suppose You Did Not Know Them Apart."   "I Had Never Set Eyes On Either Of Them Before," Returned Gorton; Unconsciously Confirming A Point In The Barrister's Mind; Which,  However, Was Already Sufficiently Obvious.   "The Man I Wanted To Find Was Named Gordon. I Thought It Just Possible That You Might Have Changed Your Name Temporarily: Some Of Us Finding It Convenient To Do So On Occasion."   "I Never Changed Mine In My Life."   "And If You Had,  I Don't Suppose You'd Have Changed It To One So Notorious As George Gordon."   "Notorious?"   "It Was A George Gordon Who Was The Hero Of That Piratical Affair; That Mutiny On Board The _Morning Star_."   "Ah,  To Be Sure. And An Awful Villain Too! A Man I Met In Australia Knew Gordon Well. But He Tells A Curious Tale,  Though. He Was A Doctor,  That Gordon; Had Come Last From Somewhere In Kirkcudbrightshire."   "He Did," Said Thomas Carr,  Quietly. "What Curious Tale Does Your Friend Tell?"   "Well,  Sir,  He Says--Or Rather Said,  For I've Not Seen Him Since My First Visit There--That George Gordon Did Not Sail In The _Morning Star_. He Was Killed In A Drunken Brawl The Night Before He Ought To Have Sailed: This Man Was Present And Saw Him Buried."   "But There's Pretty Good Proof That Gordon Did Sail. He Was The Ringleader Of The Mutiny."   "Well,  Yes. I Don't Know How It Could Have Been. The Man Was Positive. I Never Knew Gordon; So That The Affair Did Not Interest Me Much."   "You Are Doing Well Over There?"   "Very Well. I Might Retire Now,  If I Chose To Live In A Small Way,  But I Mean To Take A Few More Years Of It,  And Go On To Riches. Ah! And It Was Just The Turn Of A Pin Whether I Went Over There That Second Time,  Or Whether I Stopped In London To Serve Writs And Starve."   "Val Was Right," Thought The Barrister.   On The Following Saturday Mr. Carr Took A Return-Ticket,  And Went Down To Hartledon: As He Had Done Once Or Twice Before In The Old Days. The Hartledons Had Not Come To Town This Season; Did Not Intend To Come: Anne Was Too Happy In The Birth Of Her Baby-Boy To Care For London; And Val Liked Hartledon Better Than Any Other Place Now.   In One Single Respect The Past Year Had Failed To Bring Anne Happiness--There Was Not Entire Confidence Between Herself And Her Husband. He Had Something On His Mind,  And She Could Not Fail To See That He Had. It Was Not That Awful Dread That Seemed To Possess Him In His First Wife's Time; Nevertheless It Was A Weight Which Told More Or Less On His Spirits At All Times. To Anne It Appeared Like Remorse; Yet She Might Never Have Thought This,  But For A Word Or Two He Let Slip Occasionally. Was It Connected With His Children? She Could Almost Have Fancied So: And Yet In What Manner Could It Be? His Behaviour Was Peculiar. He Rather Avoided Them Than Not; But When With Them Was Almost Passionately Demonstrative,  Exactingly Jealous That Due Attention Should Be Paid To Them: And He Seemed Half Afraid Of Caressing Anne's Baby,  Lest It Should Be Thought He Cared For It More Than For The Others. Altogether Lady Hartledon Puzzled Her Brains In Vain: She Could Not Make Him Out. When She Questioned Him He Would Deny That There Was Anything The Matter, And Said It Was Her Fancy.   They Were At Hartledon Alone: That Is,  Without The Countess-Dowager. That Respected Lady,  Though Not Actually Domiciled With Them During The Past Twelve-Month,  Had Paid Them Three Long Visits. She Was Determined To Retain Her Right In The Household--If Right It Could Be Called. The Dowager Was By Far Too Wary To Do Otherwise; And Her Behaviour To Anne Was Exceedingly Mild. But Somehow She Contrived To Retain,  Or Continually Renew,  Her Evil Influence Over The Children; Though So Insidiously,  That Lady Hartledon Could Never Detect How Or When It Was Done,  Or Openly Meet It. Neither Could She Effectually Counteract It. So Surely As The Dowager Came,  So Surely Did The Young Boy And His Sister Become Unruly With Their Step-Mother; Ill-Natured And Rude. Lady Hartledon Was Kind,  Judicious, And Good; And Things Would So Far Be Remedied During The Crafty Dowager's Absences,  As To Promise A Complete Cure; But Whenever She Returned The Evil Broke Out Again. Anne Was Sorely Perplexed. She Did Not Like To Deny The Children To Their Grandmother,  Who Was More Nearly Related To Them Than She Herself; And She Could Only Pray That Time Would Bring About Some Remedy. The Dowager Passed Her Time Pretty Equally Between Their House And Her Son's. Lord Kirton Had Not Married Again,  Owing,  Perhaps, To The Watch And Ward Kept Over Him. But As Soon As He Started Off To The Continent,  Or Elsewhere,  Where She Could Not Follow Him,  Then Off She Came,  Without Notice,  To England And Lord Hartledon's. And Val,  In His Good-Nature,  Bore The Infliction Passively So Long As She Kept Civil And Peaceable.   In This Also Her Husband's Behaviour Puzzled Anne. Disliking The Dowager Beyond Every Other Created Being,  He Yet Suffered Her To Indulge His Children; And If Any Little Passage-At-Arms Supervened,  Took Her Part Rather Than His Wife's.   "I Cannot Understand You,  Val," Anne Said To Him One Day,  In Tones Of Pain. "You Are Not As You Used To Be." And His Only Answer Was To Strain His Wife To His Bosom With An Impassioned Gesture Of Love.   But These Were Only Episodes In Their Generally Happy Life. Never More Happy,  More Free From Any External Influence,  Than When Thomas Carr Arrived There On This Identical Saturday. He Went In Unexpectedly: And Val's Violet Eyes,  Beautiful As Ever,  Shone Out Their Welcome; And Anne, Who Happened To Have Her Baby On Her Lap,  Blushed And Smiled,  As She Held It Out For The Barrister's Inspection.   "I Dare Not Take It," Said He. "You Would Be Up In Arms If It Were Dropped. What Is Its Name?"   "Reginald."   A Little While,  And She Carried The Child Away,  Leaving Them Alone. Mr. Carr Declined Refreshment For The Present; And He And Val Strolled Out Arm-In-Arm.   "I Have Brought You An Item Of News,  Hartledon. Gorton Has Turned Up."   "Not Gordon?"   "No. And What's More,  Gorton Never Was Gordon. You Were Right,  And I Was Wrong. I Would Have Bet A Ten-Pound Note--A Great Venture For A Barrister--That The Men Were The Same; Never,  In Point Of Fact,  Had A Doubt Of It."   "You Would Not Listen To Me," Said Val. "I Told You I Was Sure I Could Not Have Failed To Recognize Gordon,  Had He Been The One Who Was Down At Calne With The Writ."   "But You Acknowledged That It Might Have Been He,  Nevertheless; That His Red Hair Might Have Been False; That You Never Had A Distinct View Of The Man's Face; And That The Only Time You Spoke To Him Was In The Gloaming," Reiterated Thomas Carr. "Well,  As It Turns Out,  We Might Have Spared Half Our Pains And Anxiety,  For Gorton Was Never Any One But Himself: An Innocent Sheriff's Officer,  As Far As You Are Concerned,  Who Had Never, In His Life Set Eyes On Val Elster Until He Went After Him To Calne."   "Didn't I Say So?" Reiterated Val. "Gordon Would Have Known Me Too Well To Arrest Edward For Me."   "But You Admitted The General Likeness Between You And Your Brother; And Gordon Had Not Seen You For Three Years Or More."   "Yes; I Admitted All You Say,  And Perhaps Was A Little Doubtful Myself. But I Soon Shook Off The Doubt,  And Of Late Years Have Been Sure That Gordon Was Really Dead. It Has Been More Than A Conviction. I Always Said There Were No Grounds For Connecting The Two Together."   "I Had My Grounds For Doing It," Remarked The Barrister. "Gorton,  It Seems,  Has Been In Australia Ever Since. No Wonder Green Could Not Unearth Him In London. He's Back Again On A Visit,  Looking Like A Gentleman; And Really I Can't Discover That There Was Ever Anything Against Him,  Except That He Was Down In The World. Taylor Met Him The Other Day,  And I Had Him Brought To My Chambers; And Have Told You The Result."   "You Do Not Now Feel Any Doubt That Gordon's Dead?"   "None At All. Your Friend,  Gordon Of Kircudbright,  Was The One Who Embarked,  Or Ought To Have Embarked,  On The _Morning Star_,  Homeward Bound," Said Mr. Carr. And He Forthwith Told Lord Hartledon What The Man Had Said.   A Silence Ensued. Lord Hartledon Was In Deep And Evidently Not Pleasant Thought; And The Barrister Stole A Glance At Him.   "Hartledon,  Take Comfort. I Am As Cautious By Nature As I Believe It Is Possible For Any One To Be; And I Am Sure The Man Is Dead,  And Can Never Rise Up To Trouble You."   "I Have Been Sure Of That For Years," Replied Hartledon Quietly. "I Have Just Said So."   "Then What Is Disturbing You?"   "Oh,  Carr,  How Can You Ask It?" Came The Rejoinder. "What Is It Lies On My Mind Day And Night; Is Wearing Me Out Before My Time? Discovery May Be Avoided; But When I Look At The Children--At The Boy Especially--It Would Have Turned Some Men Mad," He More Quietly Added,  Passing His Hand Across His Brow. "As Long As He Lives,  I Cannot Have Rest From Pain. The Sins Of The Fathers--"   "Yes,  Yes," Interposed Mr. Carr,  Hastily. "Still The Case Is Light, Compared With What We Once Dreaded."   "Light For Me,  Heavy For Him."   Mr. Carr Remained With Them Until The Monday: He Then Went Back To London And Work; And Time Glided On Again. An Event Occurred The Following Winter Which Shall Be Related At Once; More Especially As Nothing Of Moment Took Place In Those Intervening Months Needing Special Record.   The Man Pike,  Who Still Occupied His Shed Undisturbed,  Had Been Ailing For Some Time. An Attack Of Rheumatic Fever In The Summer Had Left Him Little Better Than A Cripple. He Crawled Abroad Still When He Was Able, And _Would_ Do So,  In Spite Of What Mr. Hillary Said; Would Lie About The Damp Ground In A Lawless,  Gipsying Sort Of Manner; But By The Time Winter Came All That Was Over,  And Mr. Pike's Career,  As Foretold By The Surgeon,  Was Drawing Rapidly To A Close. Mrs. Gum Was His Good Samaritan, As She Had Been In The Fever Some Years Before,  Going In And Out And Attending To Him; And In A Reasonable Way Pike Wanted For Nothing.   "How Long Can I Last?" He Abruptly Asked The Doctor One Morning. "Needn't Fear To Say. _She_'S The Only One That Will Take On; I Shan't."   He Alluded To Mrs. Gum,  Who Had Just Gone Out. The Surgeon Considered.   "Two Or Three Days."   "As Much As That?"   "I Think So."   "Oh!" Said Pike. "When It Comes To The Last Day I Should Like To See Lord Hartledon."   "Why The Last Day?"   The Man's Pinched Features Broke Into A Smile; Pleasant And Fair Features Once,  With A Gentle Look Upon Them. The Black Wig And Whiskers Lay Near Him; But The Real Hair,  Light And Scanty,  Was Pushed Back From The Damp Brow.   "No Use,  Then,  To Think Of Giving Me Up: No Time Left For It."   "I Question If Lord Hartledon Would Give You Up Were You In Rude Health. I'm Sure He Would Not," Added Mr. Hillary,  Endorsing His Opinion Rather Emphatically. "If Ever There Was A Kindly Nature In The World,  It's His. What Do You Want With Him?"   "I Should Like To Say A Word To Him In Private," Responded Pike.   "Then You'd Better Not Wait To Say It. I'll Tell Him Of Your Wish. It's All Safe. Why,  Pike,  If The Police Themselves Came They Wouldn't Trouble To Touch You Now."   "I Shouldn't Much Care If They Did," Said The Man. "_I_ Haven't Cared For A Long While; But There Were The Others,  You Know."   "Yes," Said Mr. Hillary.   "Look Here," Said Pike; "No Need To Tell Him Particulars; Leave Them Till I'm Gone. I Don't Know That I'd Like _Him_ To Look Me In The Face, Knowing Them."   "As You Will," Said Mr. Hillary,  Falling In With The Wish More Readily Than He Might Have Done For Anyone But A Dying Man.   He Had Patients Out Of Calne,  Beyond Hartledon,  And Called In Returning. It Was A Snowy Day; And As The Surgeon Was Winding Towards The House, Past The Lodge,  With A Quick Step,  He Saw A White Figure Marching Across The Park. It Was Lord Hartledon. He Had Been Caught In The Storm,  And Came Up Laughing.   "Umbrellas Are At A Premium," Observed Mr. Hillary,  With The Freedom Long Intimacy Had Sanctioned.   "It Didn't Snow When I Came Out," Said Hartledon,  Shaking Himself,  And Making Light Of The Matter. "Were You Coming To Honour Me With A Morning Call?"   "I Was And I Wasn't," Returned The Surgeon. "I've No Time For Morning Calls,  Unless They Are Professional Ones; But I Wanted To Say A Word To You. Have You A Mind For A Further Walk In The Snow?"   "As Far As You Like."   "There's A Patient Of Mine Drawing Very Near The Time When Doctors Can Do No More For Him. He Has Expressed A Wish To See You,  And I Undertook To Convey The Request."   "I'll Go,  Of Course," Said Val,  All His Kindliness On The Alert. "Who Is It?"   "A Black Sheep," Answered The Surgeon. "I Don't Know Whether That Will Make Any Difference?"   "It Ought Not," Said Val Rather Warmly. "Black Sheep Have More Need Of Help Than White Ones,  When It Comes To The Last. I Suppose It's A Poacher Wanting To Clear His Conscience."   "It's Pike," Said Hillary.   "Pike! What Can He Want With Me? Is He No Better?"   "He'll Never Be Better In This World; And To Speak The Truth,  I Think It's Time He Left It. He'll Be Happier,  Poor Fellow,  Let's Hope,  In Another Than He Has Been In This. Has It Ever Struck You,  Lord Hartledon, That There Was Something Strange About Pike,  And His Manner Of Coming Here?"   "Very Strange Indeed."   "Well,  Pike Is Not Pike,  But Another Man--Which I Suppose You Will Say Is Irish. But That He Is So Ill,  And It Would Not Be Worth While For The Law To Take Him,  He Might Be In Mortal Fear Of Your Seeing Him,  Lest You Betrayed Him. He Wanted You Not To Be Informed Until The Last Hour. I Told Him There Was No Fear."   "I Would Not Betray Any Living Man,  Whatever His Crime,  For The Whole World," Returned Lord Hartledon; His Voice So Earnest As To Amount To Pain. And The Surgeon Looked At Him; But There Rose Up In His Remembrance How _He_ Had Been Avoiding Betrayal For Years. "Who Is He?"   "Willy Gum."   Lord Hartledon Turned His Head Sharply Under Cover Of The Surgeon's Umbrella,  For They Were Walking Along Together. A Thought Crossed Him That The Words Might Be A Jest.   "Yes,  Pike Is Willy Gum," Continued Mr. Hillary. "And There You Have The Explanation Of The Poor Mother's Nervous Terrors. I Do Pity Her. The Clerk Has Taken It More Philosophically,  And Seemed Only To Care Lest The Fact Should Become Known. Ah,  Poor Thing! What A Life Hers Has Been! Her Fears Of The Wild Neighbour,  Her Basins For Cats,  Are All Explained Now. She Dreaded Lest Calne Should Suspect That She Occasionally Stole Into The Shed Under Cover Of The Night With The Basins Containing Food For Its Inmate. There The Man Has Lived--If You Can Call Such An Existence Living; Willy Gum,  Concealed By His Borrowed Black Hair And Whiskers. But That He Was Only A Boy When He Went Away,  Calne Would Have Recognized Him In Spite Of Them."   "And He Is Not A Poacher And A Snarer,  And I Don't Know What All,  Leading A Lawless Life,  And Thieving For His Living?" Exclaimed Lord Hartledon, The First Question That Rose To The Surface,  Amidst The Many That Were Struggling In His Mind.   "I Don't Believe The Man Has Touched The Worth Of A Pin Belonging To Any One Since He Came Here,  Even On Your Preserves. People Took Up The Notion From His Wild Appearance,  And Because He Had No Ostensible Means Of Living. It Would Not Have Done To Let Them Know That He Had His Supplies--Sometimes Money,  Sometimes Food--From Respectable Clerk Gum's."   "But Why Should He Be In Concealment At All? That Bank Affair Was Made All Right At The Time."   "There Are Other Things He Feared,  It Seems. I've Not Time To Enter Into Details Now; You'll Know Them Later. There He Is--Pike: And There He'll Die--Pike Always."   "How Long Have You Known It?"   "Since That Fever He Caught From The Rectory Some Years Ago. I Recollect Your Telling Me Not To Let Him Want For Anything;" And Lord Hartledon Winced At The Remembrance Brought Before Him,  As He Always Did Wince At The Unhappy Past. "I Never Shall Forget It. I Went In,  Thinking Pike Was Ill,  And That He,  Wild And Disreputable Though He Had The Character Of Being,  Might Want Physic As Well As His Neighbours. Instead Of The Black-Haired Bear I Expected To See,  There Lay A Young,  Light,  Delicate Fellow,  With A White Brow,  And Cheeks Pink With Fever. The Features Seemed Familiar To Me; Little By Little Recognition Came To Me,  And I Saw It Was Willy Gum,  Whom Every One Had Been Mourning As Dead. He Said A Pleading Word Or Two,  That I Would Keep His Secret,  And Not Give Him Up To Justice. I Did Not Understand What There Was To Give Him Up For Then. However,  I Promised. He Was Too Ill To Say Much; And I Went To The Next Door,  And Put It To Gum's Wife That She Should Go And Nurse Pike For Humanity's Sake. Of Course It Was What She Wanted To Do. Poor Thing! She Fell On Her Knees Later,  Beseeching Me Not To Betray Him."   "And You Have Kept Counsel All This Time?"   "Yes," Said The Surgeon,  Laconically. "Would Your Lordship Have Done Otherwise,  Even Though It Had Been A Question Of Hanging?"   "_I!_ I Wouldn't Give A Man A Month At The Treadmill If I Could Help It. One Gets Into Offences So Easily," He Dreamily Added.   They Crossed Over The Waste Land,  And Mr. Hillary Opened The Door Of The Shed With A Pass-Key. A Lock Had Been Put On When Pike Was Lying In Rheumatic Fever,  Lest Intruders Might Enter Unawares,  And See Him Without His Disguise.   "Pike,  I Have Brought You My Lord. He Won't Betray You."     Chapter 33 (The Shed Razed) Closing The Door Upon Them,  The Surgeon Went Off On Other Business,  And Lord Hartledon Entered And Bent Over The Bed; A More Comfortable Bed Than It Once Had Been. It Was The Willy Gum Of Other Days; The Boy He Had Played With When They Were Boys Together. White,  Wan,  Wasted,  With The Dying Hectic On His Cheek,  The Glitter Already In His Eye,  He Lay There; And Val's Eyelashes Shone As He Took The Worn Hand.   "I Am So Sorry,  Willy. I Had No Suspicion It Was You. Why Did You Not Confide In Me?"   The Invalid Shook His Head. "There Might Have Been Danger In It."   "Never From Me," Was The Emphatic Answer.   "Ah,  My Lord,  You Don't Know. I Haven't Dared To Make Myself Known To A Soul. Mr. Hillary Found It Out,  And I Couldn't Help Myself."   Lord Hartledon Glanced Round At The Strange Place: The Rafters,  The Rude Walls. A Fire Was Burning On The Hearth,  And The Appliances Brought To Bear Were More Comfortable Than Might Have Been Imagined; But Still--   "Surely You Will Allow Yourself To Be Removed To A Better Place,  Willy?" He Said.   "Call Me Pike," Came The Feverish Interruption. "Never That Other Name Again,  My Lord; I've Done With It For Ever. As To A Better Place--I Shall Have That Soon Enough."   "You Wanted To Say Something To Me,  Mr. Hillary Said."   "I've Wanted To Say It Some Time Now,  And To Beg Your Lordship's Pardon. It's About The Late Earl's Death."   "My Brother's?"   "Yes. I Was On The Wrong Scent A Long Time. And I Can Tell You What Nobody Else Will."   Lord Hartledon Lifted His Head Quickly; Thoughts Were Crowding Impulsively Into His Mind,  And He Spoke In The Moment's Haste.   "Surely You Had Not Anything To Do With That!"   "No; But I Thought Your Lordship Had."   "What Do You Mean?" Asked Lord Hartledon,  Quietly.   "It's For My Foolish And Wicked And Mistaken Thought That I Would Crave Pardon Before I Go. I Thought Your Lordship Had Killed The Late Lord, Either By Accident Or Maliciously."   "You Must Be Dreaming,  Pike!"   "No; But I Was No Better Than Dreaming Then. I Had Been Living Amidst Lawless Scenes,  Over The Seas And On The Seas,  Where A Life's Not Of Much Account,  And The Fancy Was Easy Enough. I Happened To Overhear A Quarrel Between You And The Earl Just Before His Death; I Saw You Going Towards The Spot At The Time The Accident Happened,  As You May Remember--"   "I Did Not Go So Far," Interrupted Hartledon,  Wondering Still Whether This Might Not Be The Wanderings Of A Dying Man. "I Turned Back Into The Trees At Once,  And Walked Slowly Home. Many A Time Have I Wished I Had Gone On!"   "Yes,  Yes; I Was On The Wrong Scent. And There Was That Blow On His Temple To Keep Up The Error,  Which I Know Now Must Have Been Done Against The Estrade. I Did Suspect At The Time,  And Your Lordship Will Perhaps Not Forgive Me For It. I Let Drop A Word That I Suspected Something Before That Man Gorton,  And He Asked Me What I Meant; And I Explained It Away,  And Said I Was Chaffing Him. And I Have Been All This Time,  Up To A Few Weeks Ago,  Learning The True Particulars Of How His Lordship Died."   Lord Hartledon Decided That The Man's Mind Was Undoubtedly Wandering.   But Pike Was Not Wandering. And He Told The Story Of The Boy Ripper Having Been Locked Up In The Mill. Mr. Ripper Was Almost A Match For Pike Himself In Deceit; And Pike Had Only Learned The Facts By Dint Of Long Patience And Perseverance And Many Threats. The Boy Had Seen The Whole Accident; Had Watched It From The Window Where He Was Enclosed,  Unable To Get Out,  Unless He Had Torn Away The Grating. Lord Hartledon Had Lost All Command Of The Little Skiff,  His Arm Being Utterly Disabled; And It Came Drifting Down Towards The Mill,  And Struck Against The Estrade. The Skiff Righted Itself At Once,  But Not Its Owner: There Was A Slight Struggle,  A Few Cries,  And He Lay Motionless,  Drifting Later To The Place Where He Was Found. Mr. Ripper's Opinion Was That He Had Lost His Senses With The Blow On The Temple,  And Fell An Easy Prey To Death. Had That Gentleman Only Sacrificed The Grating And His Own Reputation,  He Might Have Saved Him Easily; And That Fact Had Since Been Upon His Conscience,  Making Him Fear All Sorts Of Things,  Not The Least Of Which Was That He Might Be Hanged As A Murderer.   This Story He Had Told Pike At The Time,  With One Reserve--He Persisted That He Had Not _Seen_,  Only Heard. Pike Saw That The Boy Was Still Not Telling The Whole Truth,  And Suspected He Was Screening Lord Hartledon--He Who Now Stood Before Him. Mr. Ripper's Logic Tended To The Belief That He Could Not Be Punished If He Stuck To The Avowal Of Having Seen Nothing. He Had Only Heard The Cries; And When Pike Asked If They Were Cries As If He Were Being Assaulted,  The Boy Evasively Answered "Happen They Were." Another Little Item He Suppressed: That He Found The Purse At The Bottom Of The Skiff,  After He Got Out Of The Mill,  And Appropriated It To Himself; And When He Had Fairly Done That,  He Grew More Afraid Of Having Done It Than Of All The Rest. The Money He Secreted,  Using It When He Dared,  A Sixpence At A Time; The Case,  With Its Papers,  He Buried In The Spot Where His Master Afterwards Found It. With All This Upon The Young Man's Conscience,  No Wonder He Was A Little Confused And Contradictory In His Statements To Pike: No Wonder He Fancied The Ghost Of The Man He Could Have Saved And Did Not,  Might Now And Then Be Hovering About Him. Pike Learned The Real Truth At Last; And A Compunction Had Come Over Him,  Now That He Was Dying,  For Having Doubted Lord Hartledon.   "My Lord,  I Can Only Ask You To Forgive Me. I Ought To Have Known You Better. But Things Seemed To Corroborate It So: I've Heard People Say The New Lord Was As A Man Who Had Some Great Care Upon Him. Oh,  I Was A Fool!"   "At Any Rate It Was Not _That_ Care,  Pike; I Would Have Saved My Brother's Life With My Own,  Had I Been At Hand To Do It. As To Ripper--I Shall Never Bear To Look Upon Him Again."   "He's Gone Away," Said Pike.   "Where Has He Gone?"   "The Miller Turned Him Off For Idleness,  And He's Gone Away,  Nobody Knows Where,  To Get Work: I Don't Suppose He'll Ever Come Back Again. This Is The Real Truth Of The Matter As It Occurred,  My Lord; And There's No More Behind It. Ripper Has Now Told All He Knows,  Just As Fully As If He Had Been Put To Torture."   Lord Hartledon Remained With Pike Some Time Longer,  Soothing The Man As Much As It Was In His Power And Kindly Nature To Soothe. He Whispered A Word Of The Clergyman,  Dr. Ashton.   "Father Says He Shall Bring Him To-Night," Was The Answer. "It's All A Farce."   "I Am Sorry To Hear You Say That," Returned Lord Hartledon,  Gravely.   "If I Had Never Said A Worse Thing Than That,  My Lord,  I Shouldn't Hurt. Unless The Accounts Are Made Up Beforehand,  Parsons Can't Avail Much At The Twelfth Hour. Mother's Lessons To Me When A Child,  And Her Reading The Bible As She Sits Here In The Night,  Are Worth More Than Dr. Ashton Could Do. But For Those Old Lessons' Having Come Home To Me Now,  I Might Not Have Cared To Ask Your Forgiveness. Dr. Ashton! What Is He? For An Awful Sinner--And It's What I've Been--There's Only Christ. At Times I Think I've Been Too Bad Even For Him. I've Only My Sins To Take To Him: Never Were Worse In This World."   Lord Hartledon Went Out Rather Bewildered With The Occurrences Of The Morning. Thinking It Might Be Only Kind To Step Into The Clerk's,  He Crossed The Stile And Went In Without Ceremony By The Open Back-Door. Mrs. Gum Was Alone In The Kitchen,  Crying Bitterly. She Dried Her Eyes In Confusion,  As She Curtsied To Her Visitor.   "I Know All," He Interrupted,  In Low,  Considerate Tones,  To The Poor Suffering Woman. "I Have Been To See Him. Never Mind Explanations: Let Us Think What We Can Best Do To Lighten His Last Hours."   Mrs. Gum Burst Into Deeper Tears. It Was A Relief,  No Doubt: But She Wondered How Much Lord Hartledon Knew.   "I Say That He Ought To Be Got Away From That Place,  Mrs. Gum. It's Not Fit For A Man To Die In. You Might Have Him Here. Calne! Surely My Protection Will Sufficiently Screen Him Against Tattling Calne!"   She Shook Her Head,  Saying It Was Of No Use Talking To Willy About Removal; He Wouldn't Have It; And She Thought Herself It Might Be Better Not. Jabez,  Too; If This Ever Came Out In Calne,  It Would Just Kill Him; His Lordship Knew What He Was,  And How He Had Cared For Appearances All His Life. No; It Would Not Be For Many More Hours Now,  And Willy Must Die In The Shed Where He Had Lived.   Lord Hartledon Sat Down On The Ironing-Board,  The White Table Underneath The Window,  In The Old Familiar Manner Of Former Days; Many And Many A Time Had He Perched Himself There To Talk To Her When He Was Young Val Elster.   "Only Fancy What My Life Has Been,  My Lord," She Said. "People Have Called Me Nervous And Timid; But Look At The Cause I've Had! I Was Just Beginning To Get Over The Grief For His Death,  When He Came Here; And To The Last Hour Of My Life I Shan't Get The Night Out Of My Mind! I And Jabez Were Together In This Very Kitchen. I Had Come In To Wash Up The Tea-Things,  And Jabez Followed Me. It Was A Cold,  Dark Evening,  And The Parlour Fire Had Got Low. By Token,  My Lord,  We Were Talking Of You; You Had Just Gone Away To Be An Ambassador,  Or Something,  And Then We Spoke Of The Wild,  Strange,  Black Man Who Had Crept Into The Shed; And Jabez, I Remember,  Said He Should Acquaint Mr. Marris,  If The Fellow Did Not Take Himself Off. I Had Seen Him That Very Evening,  At Dusk,  For The First Time,  When His Great Black Face Rose Up Against Mine,  Nearly Frightening Me To Death. Jabez Was Angry At Such A Man's Being There,  And Said He Should Go Up To Hartledon In The Morning And See The Steward. Just Then There Came A Tap At The Kitchen Door,  And Jabez Went To It. It Was The Man; He Had Watched The Servant Out,  And Knew We Were Alone; And He Came Into The Kitchen,  And Asked If We Did Not Know Him. Jabez Did; He Had Seen Willy Later Than I Had,  And He Recognized Him; And The Man Took Off His Black Hair And Great Black Whiskers,  And I Saw It Was Willy,  And Nearly Fainted Dead Away."   There Was A Pause. Lord Hartledon Did Not Speak,  And She Resumed,  After A Little Indulgence In Her Grief.   "And Since Then All Our Aim Has Been To Hide The Truth,  To Screen Him, And Keep Up The Tale That We Were Afraid Of The Wild Man. How It Has Been Done I Know Not: But I Do Know That It Has Nearly Killed Me. What A Night It Was! When Jabez Heard His Story And Forced Him To Answer All Questions,  I Thought He Would Have Given Willy Up To The Law There And Then. My Lord,  We Have Just Lived Since With A Sword Over Our Heads!"   Lord Hartledon Remembered The Sword That Had Been Over His Own Head,  And Sympathized With Them From The Depths Of His Heart.   "Tell Me All," He Said. "You Are Quite Safe With Me,  Mrs. Gum."   "I Don't Know That There's Much More To Tell," She Sighed. "We Took The Best Precautions We Could,  In A Quiet Way,  Having The Holes In The Shutters Filled Up,  And New Locks Put On The Doors,  Lest People Might Look In Or Step In,  While He Sat Here Of A Night,  Which He Took To Do. Jabez Didn't Like It,  But I'm Afraid I Encouraged It. It Was So Lonely For Him,  That Shed,  And So Unhealthy! We Sent Away The Regular Servant, And Engaged One By Day,  So As To Have The House To Ourselves At Night. If A Knock Came To The Door,  Willy Would Slip Out To The Wood-House Before We Opened It,  Lest It Might Be Anybody Coming In. He Did Not Come In Every Night--Two Or Three Times A-Week; And It Never Was Pleasant; For Jabez Would Hardly Open His Mouth,  Unless It Was To Reproach Him. Heaven Alone Knows What I've Had To Bear!"   "But,  Mrs. Gum,  I Cannot Understand. Why Could Not Willy Have Declared Himself Openly To The World?"   It Was Evidently A Most Painful Question. Her Eyes Fell; The Crimson Of Shame Flushed Into Her Cheeks; And He Felt Sorry To Have Asked It.   "Spare Me,  My Lord,  For I _Cannot_ Tell You. Perhaps Jabez Will: Or Mr. Hillary; He Knows. It Doesn't Much Matter,  Now Death's So Near; But I Think It Would Kill Me To Have To Tell It."   "And No One Except The Doctor Has Ever Known That It Was Willy?"   "One More,  My Lord: Mirrable. We Told Her At Once. I Have Had To Hear All Sorts Of Cruel Things Said Of Him," Continued Mrs. Gum. "That He Thieved And Poached,  And Did I Know Not What; And We Could Only Encourage The Fancy,  For It Put People Off The Truth As To How He Really Lived."   "Amidst Other Things,  They Said,  I Believe,  That He Was Out With The Poachers The Night My Brother George Was Shot!"   "And That Night,  My Lord,  He Sat Over This Kitchen Fire,  And Never Stirred From It. He Was Ill: It Was Rheumatism,  Caught In Australia, That Took Such A Hold Upon Him; And I Had Him Here By The Fire Till Near Daylight In The Morning,  So As To Keep Him Out Of The Damp Shed. What With Fearing One Thing And Another,  I Grew Into A State Of Perpetual Terror."   "Then You Will Not Have Him In Here Now," Said Lord Hartledon,  Rising.   "I Cannot," She Said,  Her Tears Falling Silently.   "Well,  Mrs. Gum,  I Came In Just To Say A Word Of True Sympathy. You Have It Heartily,  And My Services Also,  If Necessary. Tell Jabez So."   He Quitted The House By The Front-Door,  As If He Had Been Honouring The Clerk's Wife With A Morning-Call,  Should Any Curious Person Happen To Be Passing,  And Went Across Through The Snow To The Surgeon's. Mr. Hillary, An Old Bachelor,  Was At His Early Dinner,  And Lord Hartledon Sat Down And Talked To Him.   "It's Only Rump Steak; But Few Cooks Can Beat Mine,  And It's Very Good. Won't Your Lordship Take A Mouthful By Way Of Luncheon?"   "My Curiosity Is Too Strong For Luncheon Just Now," Said Val. "I Have Come Over To Know The Rights And Wrongs Of This Story. What Has Willy Gum Been Doing In The Past Years That It Cannot Be Told?"   "I Am Not Sure That It Would Be Safe To Say While He's Living."   "Not Safe! With Me! Was It Safe With You?"   "But I Don't Consider Myself Obliged To Give Up To Justice Any Poor Criminal Who Comes In My Way," Said The Surgeon; And Val Felt A Little Vexed,  Although He Saw That He Was Joking.   "Come,  Hillary!"   "Well,  Then,  Willy Gum Was Coming Home In The _Morning Star_; And A Mutiny Broke Out--Mutiny And Murder,  And Everything Else That's Bad; And One George Gordon Was The Ringleader."   "Yes. Well?"   "Willy Gum Was George Gordon."   "What!" Exclaimed Hartledon,  Not Knowing How To Accept The Words. "How Could He Be George Gordon?"   "Because The Real George Gordon Never Sailed At All; And This Fellow Gum Went On Board In His Name,  Calling Himself Gordon."   Lord Hartledon Leaned Back In His Chair And Listened To The Explanation. A Very Simple One,  After All. Gum,  One Of The Wildest And Most Careless Characters Possible When In Australia,  Gambled Away,  Before Sailing, The Money He Had Acquired. Accident Made Him Acquainted With George Gordon,  Also Going Home In The Same Ship And With Money. Gordon Was Killed The Night Before Sailing--(Mr. Carr Had Well Described It As A Drunken Brawl)--Killed Accidentally. Gum Was Present; He Saw His Opportunity,  Went On Board As Gordon,  And Claimed The Luggage--Some Of It Gold--Already On Board. How The Mutiny Broke Out Was Less Clear; But One Of The Other Passengers Knew Gum,  And Threatened To Expose Him; And Perhaps This Led To It. Gum,  At Any Rate,  Was The Ringleader,  And This Passenger Was One Of The First Killed. Gum--Gordon As He Was Called--Contrived To Escape In The Open Boat,  And Found His Way To Land; Thence,  Disguised,  To England And To Calne; And At Calne He Had Since Lived,  With The Price Offered For George Gordon On His Head.   It Was A Strange And Awful Story: And Lord Hartledon Felt A Shiver Run Through Him As He Listened. In Truth,  That Shed Was The Safest And Fittest Place For Him To Die In!   As Die He Did Ere The Third Day Was Over. And Was Buried As Pike,  The Wild Man,  Without A Mourner. Clerk Gum Stood Over The Grave In His Official Capacity; And Dr. Ashton,  Who Had Visited The Sick Man,  Himself Read The Service,  Which Caused Some Wonder In Calne.   And The Following Week Lord Hartledon Caused The Shed To Be Cleared Away,  And The Waste Land Ploughed; Saying He Would Have No More Tramps Encamping Next Door To Mr. And Mrs. Gum. Chapter 34 (The Dowager's Alarm) Again The Years Went On,  Bringing Not Altogether Comfort To The House Of Hartledon. As Anne's Children Were Born--There Were Three Now--A Sort Of Jealous Rivalry Seemed To Arise Between Them And The Two Elder Children; And This In Spite Of Anne's Efforts To The Contrary. The Moving Spring Was The Countess-Dowager,  Who In Secret Excited The Elder Children Against Their Little Brothers And Sister; But So Craftily That Anne Could Produce Nothing Tangible To Remonstrate Against. Things Would Grow Tolerably Smooth During The Old Woman's Absences; But She Took Good Care Not To Make Those Absences Lengthened,  And Then All The Ill-Nature And Rebellion Reigned Triumphant.   Once Only Anne Spoke Of This,  And That Was To Her Father. She Hinted At The State Of Things,  And Asked His Advice. Why Did Not Val Interpose His Authority,  And Forbid The Dowager The House,  If She Could Not Keep Herself From Making Mischief In It,  Sensibly Asked The Rector. But Anne Said Neither She Nor Val Liked To Do This. And Then The Rector Fancied There Was Some Constraint In His Daughter's Voice,  And She Was Not Telling Him The Whole Case Unreservedly. He Inquired No Further,  Only Gave Her The Best Advice In His Power: To Be Watchful,  And Counteract The Dowager's Influence,  As Far As She Could; And Trust To Time; Doing Her Own Duty Religiously By The Children.   What Anne Had Not Mentioned To Dr. Ashton Was Her Husband's Conduct In The Matter. In That One Respect She Could Read Him No Better Than Of Old. Devoted To Her As He Was,  As She Knew Him To Be,  In The Children's Petty Disputes He Invariably Took The Part Of His First Wife's--To The Glowing Satisfaction Of The Countess-Dowager. No Matter How Glaringly Wrong They Might Be,  How Tyrannical,  Hartledon Screened The Elder,  And--To Use The Expression Of The Nurses--Snubbed The Younger. Kind And Good Though Lady Hartledon Was,  She Felt It Acutely; And,  To Say The Truth,  Was Sorely Puzzled And Perplexed.   Lord Elster Was An Ailing Child,  And Mr. Brook,  The Apothecary,  Was Always In Attendance When They Were In London. Lady Hartledon Thought The Boy's Health Might Have Been Better Left More To Nature,  But She Would Not Have Said So For The World. The Dowager,  On The Contrary,  Would Have Preferred That Half The Metropolitan Faculty Should See Him Daily. She Had A Jealous Dread Of Anything Happening To The Boy,  And Anne's Son Becoming The Heir.   Lord Hartledon Was A Busy Man Now,  And Had A Place In The Government--Though Not As Yet In The Cabinet. Whatever His Secret Care Might Have Been,  It Was Now Passive; He Was A General Favourite,  And Courted In Society. He Was Still Young; The Face As Genial,  The Manners As Free,  The Dark-Blue Eyes As Kindly As Of Yore; Eminently Attractive In Earlier Days,  He Was So Still; And His Love For His Wife Amounted To A Passion.   At The Close Of A Sharp Winter,  When They Had Come Up To Town In January, That Lord Hartledon Might Be At His Post,  And The Countess-Dowager Was Inflicting Upon Them One Of Her Long Visits,  It Happened That Lord Elster Seemed Very Poorly. Mr. Brook Was Called In,  And Said He Would Send A Powder. He Was Called In So Often To The Boy As To Take It Quite As A Matter Of Course; And,  Truth To Say,  Thought The Present Indisposition Nothing But A Slight Cold.   Late In The Evening The Two Boys Happened To Be Alone In The Nursery, The Nurse Being Temporarily Absent From It. Edward Was Now A Tall, Slender,  Handsome Boy In Knickerbockers; Reginald A Timid Little Fellow, Several Years Younger--Rendered Timid By Edward's Perpetual Tyranny, Which He Might Not Resent. Edward Was Quiet Enough This Evening; He Felt Ill And Shivery,  And Sat Close To The Fire. Casting His Eyes Upwards,  He Espied Mr. Brook's Powder On The Mantelpiece,  With The Stereotyped Direction--"To Be Taken At Bedtime." It Was Lying Close To The Jam-Pot, Which The Head-Nurse Had Put Ready. Of Course He Had The Greatest Possible Horror Of Medicine,  And His Busy Thoughts Began To Run Upon How He Might Avoid That Detestable Powder. The Little Fellow Was Sitting On The Carpet Playing With His Bricks. Edward Turned His Eyes On His Brother,  And A Bright Thought Occurred To Him.   "Regy," Said He,  Taking Down The Pot,  "Come Here. Look At This Jam: Isn't It Nice? It's Raspberry And Currant."   The Child Left His Bricks To Bend Over The Tempting Compound.   "I'll Give It You Every Bit To Eat Before Nurse Comes Back," Continued The Boy,  "If You'll Eat This First."   Reginald Cast A Look Upon The Powder His Brother Exhibited. "What Is It?" He Lisped; "Something Good?"   "Delicious. It's Just Come In From The Sweet-Stuff Shop. Open Your Mouth--Wide."   Reginald Did As He Was Bid: Opened His Mouth To Its Utmost Width,  And The Boy Shot In The Powder.   It Happened To Be A Preparation Of That Nauseous Drug Familiarly Known As "Dover's Powder." The Child Found It So,  And Set Up A Succession Of Shrieks,  Which Aroused The House. The Nurse Rushed In; And Lord And Lady Hartledon,  Both Of Whom Were Dressing For Dinner,  Appeared On The Scene. There Stood Reginald,  Coughing,  Choking,  And Roaring; And There Sat The Culprit,  Equably Devouring The Jam. With Time And Difficulty The Facts Were Elicited From The Younger Child,  And The Elder Scorned To Deny Them.   "What A Wicked,  Greedy Turk You Must Be!" Ejaculated The Nurse,  Who Was Often In Hot Water With The Elder Boy.   "But Reginald Need Not Have Screamed So," Testily Interposed Lord Hartledon. "I Thought One Of Them Must Be On Fire. You Naughty Child, Why Did You Scream?" He Continued,  Giving Reginald A Slight Tap On The Ear.   "Any Child Would Scream At Being So Taken By Surprise," Said Lady Hartledon. "It Is Edward Who Is In Fault,  Not Reginald; And It Is He Who Deserves Punishment."   "And He Should Have It,  If He Were My Son," Boldly Declared The Nurse,  As She Picked Up The Unhappy Reginald. "A Great Greedy Boy,  To Swallow Down Every Bit Of The Jam,  And Never Give His Brother A Taste,  After Poisoning Him With That Nasty Powder!"   Edward Rose,  And Gave The Nurse A Look Of Scorn. "The Powder's Good Enough For Him: He Is Nothing But A Young Brat,  And I Am Lord Elster."   Lady Hartledon Felt Provoked. "What Is That You Say,  Edward?" She Asked, Laying Her Hand Upon His Shoulder In Reproval.   "Let Me Alone,  Mamma. He'll Never Be Anything But Regy Elster. _I_ Shall Be Lord Hartledon,  And Jam's Proper For Me,  And It's Fair I Should Put Upon Him."   The Nurse Flounced Off With Reginald,  And Lady Hartledon Turned To Her Husband. "Is This To Be Suffered? Will You Allow It To Pass Without Correction?"   "He Means Nothing," Said Val. "Do You,  Edward,  My Boy?"   "Yes,  I Do; I Mean What I Say. I Shall Stand Up For Myself And Maude."   Hartledon Made No Remonstrance: Only Drew The Boy To Him,  With A Hasty Gesture,  As Though He Would Shield Him From Anger And The World.   Anne,  Hurt Almost To Tears,  Quitted The Room. But She Had Scarcely Reached Her Own When She Remembered That She Had Left A Diamond Brooch In The Nursery,  Which She Had Just Been About To Put Into Her Dress When Alarmed By The Cries. She Went Back For It,  And Stood Almost Confounded By What She Saw. Lord Hartledon,  Sitting Down,  Had Clasped His Boy In His Arms,  And Was Sobbing Over Him; Emotion Such As Man Rarely Betrays.   "Papa,  Regy And The Other Two Are Not Going To Put Me And Maude Out Of Our Places,  Are They? They Can't,  You Know. We Come First."   "Yes,  Yes,  My Boy; No One Shall Put You Out," Was The Answer,  As He Pressed Passionate Kisses On The Boy's Face. "I Will Stand By You For Ever."   Very Judicious Indeed! The Once Sensible Man Seemed To Ignore The Evident Fact That The Boy Had Been Tutored. Lady Hartledon,  A Fear Creeping Over Her,  She Knew Not Of What,  Left Her Brooch Where It Was,  And Stole Back To Her Dressing-Room.   Presently Val Came In,  All Traces Of Emotion Removed From His Features. Lady Hartledon Had Dismissed Her Maid,  And Stood Leaning Against The Arm Of The Sofa,  Indulging In Bitter Rumination.   "Silly Children!" Cried He; "It's Hard Work To Manage Them. And Edward Has Lost His Pow--"   He Broke Off; Stopped By The Look Of Angry Reproach From His Wife,  Cast On Him For The First Time In Their Married Life. He Took Her Hand And Bent Down To Her: Fervent Love,  If Ever She Read It,  In His Eyes And Tones.   "Forgive Me,  Anne; You Are Feeling This."   "Why Do You Throw These Slights On My Children? Why Are You Not More Just?"   "I Do Not Intend To Slight Our Children,  Anne,  Heaven Knows. But I--I Cannot Punish Edward."   "Why Did You Ever Make Me Your Wife?" Sighed Lady Hartledon,  Drawing Her Hand Away.   His Poor Assumption Of Unconcern Was Leaving Him Quickly; His Face Was Changing To One Of Bitter Sorrow.   "When I Married You," She Resumed,  "I Had Reason To Hope That Should Children Be Born To Us,  You Would Love Them Equally With Your First; I Had A Right To Hope It. What Have I Done That--"   "Stay,  Anne! I Can Bear Anything Better Than Reproach From You."   "What Have I And My Children Done To You,  I Was About To Ask,  That You Take This Aversion To Them? Lavishing All Your Love On The Others And Upon Them Only Injustice?"   Val Bent Down,  Agitation In His Face And Voice.   "Hush,  Anne! You Don't Know. The Danger Is That I Should Love Your Children Better,  Far Better Than Maude's. It Might Be So If I Did Not Guard Against It."   "I Cannot Understand You," She Exclaimed.   "Unfortunately,  I Understand Myself Only Too Well. I Have A Heavy Burden To Bear; Do Not You--My Best And Dearest--Increase It."   She Looked At Him Keenly; Laid Her Hands Upon Him,  Tears Gathering In Her Eyes. "Tell Me What The Burden Is; Tell Me,  Val! Let Me Share It."   But Val Drew In Again At Once,  Alarmed At The Request: And Contradicted Himself In The Most Absurd Manner.   "There's Nothing To Share,  Anne; Nothing To Tell."   Certainly This Change Was Not Propitiatory. Lady Hartledon,  Chilled And Mortified,  Disdained To Pursue The Theme. Drawing Herself Up,  She Turned To Go Down To Dinner,  Remarking That He Might At Least Treat The Children With More _Apparent_ Justice.   "I Am Just; At Least,  I Wish To Be Just," He Broke Forth In Impassioned Tones. "But I Cannot Be Severe With Edward And Maude."   Another Powder Was Procured,  And,  Amidst Much Fighting And Resistance, Was Administered. Lady Hartledon Was In The Boy's Room The First Thing In The Morning. One Grand Quality In Her Was,  That She Never Visited Her Vexation On The Children; And Edward,  In Spite Of His Unamiable Behaviour,  Did At Heart Love Her,  Whilst He Despised His Grandmother; One Of His Sources Of Amusement Being To Take Off That Estimable Old Lady's Peculiarities Behind Her Back,  And Send The Servants Into Convulsions.   "You Look Very Hot,  Edward," Exclaimed Lady Hartledon,  As She Kissed Him. "How Do You Feel?"   "My Throat's Sore,  Mamma,  And My Legs Could Not Find A Cold Place All Night. Feel My Hand."   It Was A Child's Answer,  Sufficiently Expressive. An Anxious Look Rose To Her Countenance.   "Are You Sure Your Throat Is Sore?"   "It's Very Sore. I Am So Thirsty."   Lady Hartledon Gave Him Some Weak Tea,  And Sent For Mr. Ade Will Be Back--You'll See. An' When He Comes We'll Be Squarin' Things With Him--An' Don't You Forget It!"          *       *       *       *       *   It Was After Lawler Had Been Occupying The Cabin For A Month That Metcalf Made His Second Visit. He Rode Down The Slope Of The Valley On A Horse He Had Hired At Willets,  And Came Upon Lawler,  Who Was Standing At The Corral Gates,  Looking Across The Enclosure At The Workmen Who Were Bustling About The Ranchhouse.   Metcalf Regarded Lawler Critically Before He Dismounted; And Then He Came Forward,  Shook Lawler's Hand And Again Looked Him Over.   "A Little Thin And Peaked; But Otherwise All Right,  Eh?" He Smiled. "It's Hard To Kill You Denizens Of The Sagebrush."   He Followed Lawler Into The Shade Of The Cabin,  Remarked To Mrs. Lawler That Her Son Would Need Someone To Guard Him--If He Persisted In Meeting Outlaws Of The Antrim Type Single-Handed; And Then Turned To Lawler--After Mrs. Lawler Had Gone Inside--And Said Lowly:   "Lord,  Man! You've Got This State Raving Over You! Your Fight Against The Ring Is Talked About In Every Corner Of The Country. And That Scrap With Antrim,  Selden,  And Krell In The Old Dickman Cabin Will Go Down In History--It Will Be A Classic! What Made You Rush In On Antrim That Way--Giving Him The First Shot?"   Lawler Smiled Faintly. "Shucks,  Metcalf,  There Was Nothing To That. Shorty Told Me What Had Happened,  And As I Recollect,  Now,  I Was Pretty Much Excited."   "Excited,  Eh?" Said Metcalf,  Incredulously; "I Don't Believe It. What About Your Going In To Warden's Office,  Offering To Give Him The First Shot? Were You Excited Then?"   Lawler Reddened,  And Metcalf Laughed Triumphantly.   "Lawler," He Said; "You're Too Damned Modest--But Modesty Becomes You. I Believe You Know It. Anyway,  This State Is Raving Over You. You're Going To Be The Next Governor. You've Got To Run! This State Needs A Man Like You--It _Needs_ You! You Know It. Everybody Knows It--And Everybody Wants You. That Is,  Everybody Except Haughton,  Hatfield,  Warden--And That Bunch--Including The Railroad Company. Why,  Look Here,  Lawler!" He Went On,  When Lawler Did Not Answer; "The Fight You Made Last Fall Against The Railroad Company Was Made,  With Variations,  By All The Courageous Cattlemen In The State. If A Strong Man Isn't Elected This Fall The Same Fight Will Have To Be Made Again. Haughton Is So Rotten That People Are Beginning To Hold Their Noses!   "The People Of This State Trust You,  Lawler--They Swear By You. You've Got To Run--There's No Way Out Of It!" He Looked Keenly At Lawler. "Man, Do You Know What Mcgregor Told Me The Day Before He Left The Capital To Come Down Here And Look You Over,  To See How Badly You Were Hurt? He Said: 'Metcalf,  If Lawler Dies We Lose The Governorship Next Fall. He Is The Only Man Who Can Beat Haughton!'"   "Metcalf," Smiled Lawler; "I'll Tell You A Secret--Your Argument Has Had No Effect Upon Me. I Decided This Thing As Far Back As The Day Following The Last Election. I Am Going To Run."   "Then We've Got Haughton Licked!" Declared Metcalf,  Enthusiastically.   Metcalf Stayed At The Circle L Throughout The Day,  And In The Evening Lawler Rode With Him To Willets,  Where He Saw Him Aboard The West-Bound Train.   "I'm Telling You Something,  Lawler," Grinned The Newspaperman As He Gripped Lawler's Hand Just Before The Train Started. "Mcgregor Came To Me Yesterday. He Told Me He Intended To Come To See You,  But He Was Afraid You'd Refuse To Run. He Asked Me If I Had Any Influence With You, And I Told Him You'd Do Anything I Suggested. Now,  Don't Get Excited, Lawler," He Laughed As Lawler Looked Sharply At Him. "I've Proved It, Haven't I? You've Agreed To Run! Lord,  Man,  I'd Hate To Be An Evil-Doer And Have You Look At Me Like That!" He Laughed Again,  Exultantly. "What Was It You Said To Warden One Day,  When Warden Refused To Keep That Agreement You Made With Lefingwell? Oh,  Don't Look At Me That Way--That Conversation Has Been Printed All Over The State. I Saw To That. How Dice In You,  Mr. Brook; And Were Edward My Own Child,  I Should Know How To Act. Do You Think It Would Be Dangerous To Give Him This Prescription? You May Speak Confidentially."   "Not Dangerous; It Is A Prescription That Will Do Neither Harm Nor Good. I Suspect Sir Alexander Could Not Detect The Nature Of The Illness, And Wrote This Merely To Gain Time. It Is Not An Infrequent Custom To Do So. In My Opinion,  Not An Hour Should Be Lost In Giving Him A More Efficacious Medicine; Early Treatment Is Everything In Scarlet-Fever."   Lady Hartledon Had Been Rapidly Making Up Her Mind. "Send In What You Think Right To Be Taken,  Immediately," She Said,  "And Meet Sir Alexander In Consultation Later On."   Scarlet-Fever It Proved To Be; Not A Mild Form Of It; And In A Very Few Hours Lord Elster Was In Great Danger,  The Throat Being Chiefly Affected. The House Was In Commotion; The Dowager Worse Than Any One In It. A Complication Of Fears Beset Her: First,  Terror For Her Own Safety,  And Next,  The Less Abject Dread That Death Might Remove _Her_ Grandchild. In This Latter Fear She Partly Lost Her Personal Fears,  So Far At Any Rate As To Remain In The House; For It Seemed To Her That The Child Would Inevitably Die If She Left It. Late In The Afternoon She Rushed Into The Presence Of The Doctors,  Who Had Just Been Holding A Second Consultation.   Sir Alexander Pepps Recommended Leeches To The Throat: Mr. Brook Disapproved Of Them. "It Is The One Chance For His Life," Said Sir Alexander.   "It Is Removing Nearly All Chance," Said Mr. Brook.   Sir Alexander Prevailed; And When They Came Forth It Was Understood That Leeches Were To Be Applied. But Here Lady Hartledon Stepped In.   "I Dread Leeches To The Throat,  Sir Alexander,  If You Will Forgive Me For Saying So. I Have Twice Seen Them Applied In Scarlet-Fever; And The Patients--One A Young Lady,  The Other A Child--In Both Cases Died."   "Madam,  I Have Given My Opinion," Curtly Returned The Physician. "They Are Necessary In Lord Elster's Case."   "Do You Approve Of Leeches?" Cried Lady Hartledon,  Turning To Mr. Brook.   "Not Altogether," Was The Cautious Answer.   "Answer Me One Question,  Mr. Brook," Said Lady Hartledon,  In Her Earnestness. "Would You Apply These Leeches Were You Treating The Case Alone?"   "No,  Madam,  I Would Not."   Anne Appealed To Her Husband. When The Medical Men Differed,  She Thought The Decision Lay With Him.   "I'm Sure I Don't Know," Returned Val,  Who Felt Perfectly Helpless To Advise. "Can't You Decide,  Anne? You Know More About Children And Illness Than I Do."   "I Would Do So Without Hesitating A Moment Were It My Own Child," She Replied. "I Would Not Allow Them To Be Put On."   "No,  You Would Rather See Him Die," Interrupted The Dowager,  Who Overheard The Words,  And Most Intemperately And Unjustifiably Answered Them.   Anne Coloured With Shame For The Old Woman,  But The Words Silenced Her: How Was It Possible To Press Her Own Opinion After That? Sir Alexander Had It All His Own Way,  And The Leeches Were Applied On Either Side The Throat,  Mr. Brook Emphatically Asserting In Lady Hartledon's Private Ear That He "Washed His Hands" Of The Measure. Before They Came Off The Consequences Were Apparent; The Throat Was Swollen Outwardly,  On Both Sides; Within,  It Appeared To Be Closing.   The Dowager,  Rather Beside Herself On The Whole,  Had Insisted On The Leeches. Any One,  Seeing Her Conduct Now,  Might Have Thought The Invalid Boy Was Really Dear To Her. Nothing Of The Sort. A Hazy Idea Had Been Looming Through Her Mind For Years That Val Was Not Strong; She Had Been Mistaking Mental Disease For Bodily Illness; And A Project To Have Full Control Of Her Grandchild,  Should He Come Into The Succession Prematurely,  Had Coloured Her Dreams. This Charming Prospect Would Be Ignominiously Cut Short If The Boy Went First.   Sir Alexander Saw His Error. There Must Be Something Peculiar In Lord Elster's Constitution,  He Blandly Said; It Would Not Have Happened In Another. Of Course,  Anything That Turns Out A Mistake Always Is In The Constitution--Never In The Treatment. Whether He Lived Or Died Now Was Just The Turn Of A Straw: The Chances Were That He Would Die. All That Could Be Done Now Was To Endeavour To Counteract The Mischief By External Applications.   "I Wish You Would Let Me Try A Remedy," Said Lady Hartledon,  Wistfully. "A Compress Of Cold Water Round The Throat With Oilsilk Over It. I Have Seen It Do So Much Good In Cases Of Inward Inflammation."   Mr. Brook Smiled: If Anything Would Do Good That Might,  He Said,  Speaking As If He Had Little Faith In Remedies Now. Sir Alexander Intimated That Her Ladyship Might Try It; Graciously Observing That It Would Do No Harm.   The Application Was Used,  And The Evening Went On. The Child Had Fallen Into A Sort Of Stupor,  And Mr. Brook Came In Again Before He Had Been Away An Hour,  And Leaned Anxiously Over The Patient. He Lay With His Eyes Half-Closed,  And Breathed With Difficulty.   "I Think," He Exclaimed Softly,  "There's The Slightest Shade Of Improvement."   "In The Fever,  Or The Throat?" Whispered Lady Hartledon,  Who Had Not Quitted The Boy's Bedside.   "In The Throat. If So,  It Is Due To Your Remedy,  Lady Hartledon."   "Is He In Danger?"   "In Great Danger. Still,  I See A Gleam Of Hope."   After The Surgeon's Departure,  She Went Down To Her Husband,  Meeting Hedges On The Stairs,  Who Was Coming To Inquire After The Patient For His Master,  For About The Fiftieth Time. Hartledon Was In The Library,  Pacing About Incessantly In The Darkness,  For The Room Was Only Lighted By The Fire. Anne Closed The Door And Approached Him.   "Percival,  I Do Not Bring You Very Good Tidings," She Said; "And Yet They Might Be Worse. Mr. Brook Tells Me He Is In Great Danger,  But Thinks He Sees A Gleam Of Hope."   Lord Hartledon Took Her Hand Within His Arm And Resumed His Pacing; His Eyes Were Fixed On The Carpet,  And He Said Nothing.   "Don't Grieve As Those Without Hope," She Continued,  Her Eyes Filling With Tears. "He May Yet Recover. I Have Been Praying That It May Be So."   "Don't Pray For It," He Cried,  His Tone One Of Painful Entreaty. "I Have Been Daring To Pray That It Might Please God To Take Him."   "Percival!" She Exclaimed,  Starting Away From Him.   "I Am Not Mad,  Anne. Death Would Be A More Merciful Fate For My Boy Than Life. Death Now,  Whilst He Is Innocent,  Safe In Christ's Love!--Death,  In Heaven's Mercy!"   And Anne Crept Back To The Upper Chamber,  Sick With Terror; For She Did Think That The Trouble Of His Child's State Was Affecting Her Husband's Brain.     Chapter 35 (A Painful Scene) Lord And Lady Hartledon Were Entertaining A Family Group. The Everlasting Dowager Kept To Them Unpleasantly; Making Things Unbearable,  And Wearing Out Her Welcome In No Slight Degree,  If She Had Only Been Wise Enough To See It. She Had Escaped Scarlet-Fever And Other Dreaded Ills; And Was Alive Still. For That Matter,  The Little Lord Elster Had Come Out Of It Also: _Not_ Unscathed; For The Boy Remained A Sickly Wreck,  And There Was Very Little Hope That He Would Really Recover. The Final Close Might Be Delayed,  But It Was Not To Be Averted. Before Easter They Had Left London For Hartledon,  That He Might Have Country Air. Lord Hartledon's Eldest Sister,  Lady Margaret Cooper,  Came There With Her Husband; And On This Day The Other Sister,  Lady Laura Level,  Had Arrived From India. Lady Margaret Was An Invalid,  And Not An Agreeable Woman Besides; But To Laura And Anne The Meeting,  After So Many Years' Separation,  Was One Of Intense Pleasure. They Had Been Close Friends From Childhood.   They Were All Gathered Together In The Large Drawing-Room After Luncheon. The Day Was A Wet One,  And No One Had Ventured Out Except Sir James Cooper. Accustomed To The Scotch Mists,  This Rain Seemed A Genial Shower, And Sir James Was Enjoying It Accordingly. It Was A Warm,  Close Day,  In Spite Of The Rain; And The Large Fire In The Grate Made The Room Oppressive,  So That They Were Glad To Throw The Windows Open.   Lying On A Sofa Near The Fire Waas All The More Sorry Because It Was My Own Fault."   Mr. Fairfax Was Silent For A Few Minutes After This Bold Confession. He Had Interdicted Any Communication With The Forest,  As Mr. Carnegie Prevised. He Did Not,  However,  Consider It Necessary To Provoke Bessie's Ire By Telling Her That He Was Responsible For Her Immense Disappointment. He Let That Pass,  And When He Spoke Again It Was To Draw Her Out On The More Important Subject Of What Progress Mr. Cecil Burleigh Had Made In Her Interest. It Was Truly Vexatious,  But As Bessie Told Her Simple Tale She Was Conscious That Her Color Rose And Deepened Slowly To A Burning Blush. Why? She Vehemently Assured Herself That She Did Not Care A Straw For Mr. Cecil Burleigh,  That She Disliked Him Rather Than Otherwise,  Yet At The Mere Sound Of His Name She Blushed. Perhaps It Was Because She Dreaded Lest Anybody Should Suspect The Mistake Her Vanity Had Made Before. Her Grandfather Gave Her One Acute Glance,  And Was Satisfied That This Business Also Went Well.   "Mr. Cecil Burleigh Left The Yacht At Ryde. It Was The First Day Of The Regatta When We Anchored There,  And We Landed And Saw The Town," Was All Bessie Said In Words,  But Her Self-Betrayal Was Eloquent.   "We--What Do You Mean By _We_? Did Your Uncle Frederick Land?" Asked The Squire,  Not Caring In The Least To Know.   "No--Only Mr. Cecil Burleigh And Myself. We Went To The House Of Some Friends Of His Where We Had Lunch; And Afterward Mrs. Gardiner And One Of The Young Ladies Took Me To The Arcade. My Uncle Never Landed At All From The Day We Left Caen Till We Arrived At Scarcliffe. Mrs. Betts Went Into Harwich With Me. That Is A Very Quaint Old Town,  But Nothing In England Looks So Battered And Decayed As The French Cities Do."   Mr. Fairfax Knew All About Miss Julia Gardiner,  And Elizabeth's Information That Mr. Cecil Burleigh Had Called On The Family In Ryde Caused Him To Reflect. It Was Very Imprudent To Take Elizabeth With Him--Very Imprudent Indeed; Of Course,  The Squire Could Not Know How Little He Was To Blame. To Take Her Mind Off The Incident That Seriously Annoyed Himself,  He Asked What Troubles Caen Had Seen,  And Bessie, Thankful To Discourse Of Something Not Confusing,  Answered Him Like A Book:   "Oh,  Many. It Is Very Impoverished And Dilapidated. The Revocation Of The Edict Of Nantes Ruined Its Trade. Its Principal Merchants Were Huguenots: There Are Still Amongst The Best Families Some Of The Reformed Religion. Then In The Great Revolution It Suffered Again; The Churches Were Desecrated,  And Turned To All Manner Of Common Uses; Some Are Being Restored,  But I Myself Have Seen Straw Hoisted In At A Church Window,  Beautiful With Flamboyant Tracery In The Arch,  The Shafts Below Being Partly Broken Away."   Mr. Fairfax Remarked That France Was Too Prone To Violent Remedies; Then Reverting To The Subjects Uppermost In His Thoughts,  He Said,  "Elections And Politics Cannot Have Much Interest For You Yet,  Elizabeth,  But Probably You Have Heard That Mr. Cecil Burleigh Is Going To Stand For Norminster?"   "Yes; He Spoke Of It To My Uncle Frederick. He Is A Very Liberal Conservative,  From What I Heard Him Say. There Was A Famous Contest For Hampton When I Was Not More Than Twelve Years Old: We Went To See The Members Chaired. My Father Was Orange--The Carnegies Are Almost Radicals; They Supported Mr. Hiloe--And We Wore Orange Rosettes."   "A Most Unbecoming Color! You Must Take Up With Blue Now; Blue Is The Only Wear For A Fairfax. Most Men Might Wear Motley For A Sign Of Their Convictions. Let Us Return To The Octagon Parlor; It Is Cheerful With A Fire After Dinner. At Abbotsmead There Are Not Many Evenings When A Fire Is Not Acceptable At Dusk."   The Fire Was Very Acceptable; It Was Very Composing And Pleasant. Bright Flashes Of Flame Kindled And Reddened The Fragrant Dry Pine Chips And Played About The Lightly-Piled Logs. Mr. Fairfax Took His Own Commodious Chair On One Side Of The Hearth,  Facing The Uncurtained Windows; A Low Seat Conf Edward," Returning To The Other Subject,  "I Thought You Meant The Boy."   Lady Laura Shook Her Head. "He Will Never Get Well,  Anne. Death Is Written On His Face."   "You Would Say So,  If You Saw Him Some Days. He Is Excitable,  And Your Coming Has Roused Him. I Never Saw Any One Fluctuate So; One Day Dying, The Next Better Again. For Myself I Have Very Little Hope,  And Mr. Hillary Has None; But I Dare Not Say So To Margaret And The Dowager."   "Why Not?"   "It Makes Them Angry. They Cannot Bear To Hear There's A Possibility Of His Death. Margaret May See The Danger,  But I Don't Believe The Dowager Does."   "Their Wishes Must Blind Them," Observed Lady Laura. "The Dowager Seems All Fury And Folly. She Scarcely Gave Herself Time To Welcome Me This Morning,  Or To Inquire How I Was After My Long Voyage; But Began Descanting On A Host Of Evils,  The Chief Being That Her Grandson Should Have Had Fever."   "She Would Like Him To Bear A Charmed Life. Not For Love Of Him,  Laura."   "What Then?"   "I Do Not Believe She Has A Particle Of Love For Him. Don't Think Me Uncharitable; It Is The Truth; Val Will Tell You The Same. She Is Not Capable Of Experiencing Common Affection For Any One; Every Feeling Of Her Nature Is Merged In Self-Interest. Had Her Daughter Left Another Boy She Would Not Be Dismayed At The Prospect Of This One's Death; Whether He Lived Or Died,  It Would Be All One To Her. The Grievance Is That Reginald Should Have The Chance Of Succeeding."   "Because He Is Your Son. I Understand. A Vain,  Puffed-Up Old Thing! The Idea Of Her Still Painting Her Face And Wearing False Curls! I Wonder You Tolerate Her In Your House,  Anne! She's Always Here."   "How Can I Help Myself? She Considers,  I Believe,  That She Has More Right In This House Than I Have."   "Does She Make Things Uncomfortable?"   "More So Than I Have Ever Confessed,  Even To My Husband. From The Hour Of My Marriage She Set The Two Children Against Me,  And Against My Children When They Came; And She Never Ceases To Do So Still."   "Why Do You Submit To It?"   "She Is Their Grandmother,  And I Cannot Well Deny Her The House. Val Might Do So,  But He Does Not. Perhaps I Should Have Had Courage To Attempt It,  For The Children's Own Sake,  It Is So Shocking To Train Them To Ill-Nature,  But That He Appears To Think As She Does. The Petty Disputes Between The Children Are Frequent--For My Two Elder Ones Are Getting Of An Age To Turn Again When Put Upon--But Their Father Never Corrects Edward And Maude,  Or Allows Them To Be Corrected; Let Them Do What Wrong They Will,  He Takes Their Part. I Believe That If Edward _Killed_ One Of My Children,  He Would Only Caress Him."   Lady Laura Turned Her Eyes On The Speaker's Face,  On Its Flush Of Pain And Mortification.   "And Val Loved You: And Did _Not_ Love Maude! What Does It Mean,  Anne?"   "I Cannot Tell You. Things Altogether Are Growing More Than I Can Bear."   "Margaret Has Been With You Some Time; Has She Not Interfered,  Or Tried To Put Things Upon A Right Footing?"   Anne Shook Her Head. "She Espouses The Dowager's Side; Upholds The Two Children In Their Petty Tyranny. No One In The House Takes My Part,  Or My Children's."   "That Is Just Like Margaret. Do You Remember How You And I Used To Dread Her Domineering Spirit When We Were Girls? It's Time I Came,  I Think,  To Set Things Right."   "Laura,  Neither You Nor Any One Else Can Set Things Right. They Have Been Wrong Too Long. The Worst Is,  I Cannot See What The Evil Is,  As Regards Val. If I Ask Him He Repels Me,  Or Laughs At Me,  And Tells Me I Am Fanciful. That He Has Some Secret Trouble I Have Long Known: His Days Are Unhappy,  His Nights Restless; Often When He Thinks Me Asleep I Am Listening To His Sighs. I Am Glad You Have Come Home; I Have Wanted A True Friend To Confide These Troubles To,  And I Could Only Speak Of Them To One Of The Family."   "It Sounds Like A Romance," Cried Laura. "Some Secret Grief! What Can It Be?"   They Were Interrupted By A Commotion. Maude Had Been Threading A Splendid Ring All The Colours Of The Rainbow,  And Now Exhibited It For The Benefit Of Admiring Beholders.   "Papa--Aunt Margaret--Look At My Ring."   Lord Hartledon Nodded Pleasantly At The Child From His Distant Seat; Lady Margaret Appeared Not To Have Heard; And Maude Caught Up A Soft Ball And Threw It At Her Aunt.   Unfortunately,  It Took A Wrong Direction,  And Struck The Nodding Dowager On The Nose. She Rose Up In A Fury And Some Commotion Ensued.   "Make Me A Ring,  Maude," Little Anne Lisped When The Dowager Had Subsided Into Her Chair Again. Maude Took No Notice; Her Finger Was Still Lifted With The Precious Ornament.   "Can You See It From Your Sofa,  Edward?"   The Boy Rose And Stretched Himself. "Pretty Well. You Have Put It On The Wrong Finger,  Maude. Ladies Don't Wear Rings On The Little Finger."   "But It Won't Go On The Others," Said Maude Dolefully: "It's Too Small."   "Make A Larger One."   "Make One For Me,  Maude," Again Broke In Anne's Little Voice.   "No,  I Won't!" Returned Maude. "You Are Big Enough To Thread Beads For Yourself."   "No,  She's Not," Said Reginald. "Make Her One,  Maude."   "No,  Don't,  Maude," Said Edward. "Let Them Do Things For Themselves."   "You Hear!" Whispered Lady Hartledon.   "I Do Hear. And Val Sits There And Never Reproves Them; And The Old Dowager's Head And Eyes Are Nodding And Twinkling Approval."   Lady Laura Was An Energetic Little Woman,  Thin,  And Pale,  And Excessively Active,  With A Propensity For Setting The World Straight,  And A Tongue As Unceremoniously Free As The Dowager's. In The Cause Of Justice She Would Have Stood Up To Battle With A Giant. Lady Hartledon Was About To Make Some Response,  But She Bade Her Wait; Her Attention Was Absorbed By The Children. Perhaps The Truth Was That She Was Burning To Have A Say In The Matter Herself.   "Maude," She Called Out,  "If That Ring Is Too Small For You,  It Would Do For Anne,  And Be Kind Of You To Give It Her."   Maude Looked Dubious. Left To Herself,  The Child Would Have Been Generous Enough. She Glanced At The Dowager.   "May I Give It Her,  Grand'ma?"   Grand'ma Was Conveniently Deaf. She Would Rather Have Cut The Ring In Two Than It Should Be Given To The Hated Child: But,  On The Other Hand, She Did Not Care To Offend Laura Level,  Who Possessed Inconveniently Independent Opinions,  And Did Not Shrink From Proclaiming Them. Seizing The Poker,  She Stirred The Fire,  And Created A Divertissement.   In The Midst Of It,  Edward Left His Sofa And Walked Up To The Group And Their Beads. He Was Very Weak,  And Tottered Unintentionally Against Anne. The Touch Destroyed Her Equilibrium,  And She Fell Into Maude's Lap. There Was No Damage Done,  But The Box Of Beads Was Upset On To The Carpet. Maude Screamed At The Loss Of Her Treasures,  Rose Up With Anger,  And Slapped Anne. The Child Cried Out.   "Why D'you Hit Her?" Cried Reginald. "It Was Edward's Fault; He Pushed Her."   "What's That!" Exclaimed Edward. "My Fault! I'll Teach You To Say That," And He Struck Reginald A Tingling Slap On The Cheek.   Of Course There Was Loud Crying. The Dowager Looked On With A Red Face. Lady Margaret Cooper,  Who Had No Children Of Her Own,  Stopped Her Ears. Lady Laura Laid Her Hand On Her Sister-In Law's Wrist.   "And You Can Witness These Scenes,  And Not Check Them! You Are Changed, Indeed,  Anne!"   "If I Interfere To Protect My Children,  I Am Checked And Prevented," Replied Lady Hartledon,  With Quivering Lips. "This Scene Is Nothing To What We Have Sometimes."   "Who Checks You--Val?"   "The Dowager. But He Does Not Interpose For Me. Where The Children Are Concerned,  He Tacitly Lets Her Have Sway. It Is Not Often Anything Of This Sort Takes Place In His Presence."   The Noise Continued: All The Children Seemed To Be Fighting Together. Anne Went Forward And Drew Her Own Two Out Of The Fray.   "Pray Send Those Two Screamers To The Nursery,  Lady Hartledon," Cried The Dowager.   "I Cannot Think Why They Are Allowed In The Drawing-Room At All," Said Lady Margaret,  Addressing No One In Particular,  Unless It We Way. She Seemed To Have Discovered The Trick Of Coming And Going Undisturbingly. She Was Docile And Affectionate,  But Not In The Least Sentimental. He Had Known Men Whose First Years Of Marriage,  Not To Speak Of The First Months,  Had Been Rendered Unbearable By The Fact That Their Wives Were Constantly Demanding Or Expecting The Expression Of Sentiments Which Unsentimental Males Had Not At Their Fingers' Ends. So The Men Had Been Annoyed Or Bored,  And The Women Had Been Dissatisfied. Emily Demanded Nothing Of The Sort,  And Was Certainly Not Dissatisfied. She Looked Very Handsome And Happy. Her Looks Positively Improved,  And When People Began To Call And She To Pay Visits,  She Was Very Much Liked. He Had Certainly Been Quite Right In Deciding To Ask Her To Marry Him. If She Had A Son,  He Should Congratulate Himself Greatly. The More He Saw Of Osborn The More He Disliked Him. It Appeared That There Was A Prospect Of A Child There.   This Last Was Indeed True,  And Emily Had Been Much Touched And Awakened To Sympathy. It Had Gradually Become Revealed To Her That The Osborns Were Poorer Than They Could Decently Admit. Emily Had Discovered That They Could Not Even Remain In The Lodgings In Duke Street,  Though She Did Not Know The Reason,  Which Was That Captain Osborn Had Been Obliged To Pay Certain Moneys To Stave Off A Scandal Not Entirely Unconnected With The Young Woman His Arm Had Encircled The Day Walderhurst Had Seen Him On The Top Of The Bus. He Was Very Well Aware That If He Was To Obtain Anything From Lord Walderhurst,  There Were Several Things Which Must Be Kept Entirely Dark. Even A Scandal Belonging To The Past Could Be Made As Unpleasant As An Error Of To-Day. Also The Young Woman Of The Bead Cape Knew How To Manage Him. But They Must Remove To Cheaper Lodgings,  And The Rooms In Duke Street Had Been Far From Desirable.   Lady Walderhurst Came In One Morning From A Walk,  With A Fresh Colour And Bright Eyes,  And Before Taking Off Her Hat Went To Her Husband's Study.   "May I Come In?"   Walderhurst Had Been Writing Some Uninteresting Letters And Looked Up With A Smile.   "Certainly," He Answered. "What A Colour You Have! Exercise Agrees With You. You Ought To Ride."   "That Was What Captain Osborn Said. If You Don't Mind,  I Should Like To Ask You Something."   "I Don't Mind. You Are A Reasonable Woman,  Emily. One's Safe With You."   "It Is Something Connected With The Osborns."   "Indeed!" Chilling Slightly. "I Don't Care About Them,  You Know."   "You Don't Dislike Her,  Do You?"   "No-O,  Not Exactly."   "She's--The Truth Is,  She Is Not At All Well," With A Trifle Of Hesitance; "She Ought To Be Better Taken Care Of Than She Is In Lodgings,  And They Are Obliged To Take Very Cheap Ones."   "If He Had Been A More Respectable Fellow His Circumstances Would Have Been Different," Rather Stiffly.   Emily Felt Alarmed. She Had Not Dreamed Of The Temerity Of Any Remark Suggestive Of Criticism.   "Yes," Hastily,  "Of Course. I Am Sure You Know Best; But--I Thought Perhaps--"   Walderhurst Liked Her Timidity. To See A Fine,  Tall,  Upstanding Creature Colour In That Way Was Not Disagreeable When One Realised That She Coloured Because She Feared She Might Offend One.   "What Did You Think 'Perhaps'?" Was His Lenient Response.   Her Colour Grew Warmer,  But This Time From A Sense Of Relief,  Because He Was Evidently Not As Displeased As He Might Have Been.   "I Took A Long Walk This Morning," She Said. "I Went Through The High Wood And Came Out By The Place Called The Kennel Farm. I Was Thinking A Good Deal Of Poor Mrs. Osborn Because I Had Heard From Her This Morning, And She Seemed So Unhappy. I Was Looking At Her Letter Again When I Turned Into The Lane Leading To The House. Then I Saw That No One Was Living There,  And I Could Not Help Going In To Look--It Is Such A Delightful Old Building,  With Its Queer Windows And Chimneys,  And The Ivy Which Seems Never To Have Been Clipped. The House Is So Roomy And Comfortable--I Peeped In At Windows And Saw Big Fireplacee Former; Whom She Had Known When A Girl,  And Been Given To Ridiculing More Than Was Quite Polite.   Lord Hartledon Had Left The Room After His Wife. She Sent The Children To The Nursery; And He Found Her Alone In Her Chamber Sobbing Bitterly.   Certainly He Was A Contradiction. He Fondly Took Her In His Arms, Beseeching Her To Pardon Him,  If He Had Unwittingly Slighted Her,  As Laura Implied; And His Blue Eyes Were Beaming With Affection,  His Voice Was Low With Persuasive Tenderness.   "There Are Times," She Sobbed,  "When I Am Tempted To Wish Myself Back In My Father's House!"   "I Cannot Think Whence All This Discomfort Arises!" He Weakly Exclaimed. "Of One Thing,  Anne,  Rest Assured: As Soon As Edward Changes For The Better Or The Worse--And One It Must Inevitably Be--That Mischief-Making Old Woman Shall Quit My House For Ever."   "Edward Will Never Change For The Better," She Said. "For The Worse,  He May Soon: For The Better,  Never."   "I Know: Hillary Has Told Me. Bear With Things A Little Longer,  And Believe That I Will Remedy Them The Moment Remedy Is Possible. I Am Your Husband."   Lady Hartledon Lifted Her Eyes To His. "We Cannot Go On As We Are Going On Now. Tell Me What It Is You Have To Bear. You Remind Me That You Are My Husband; I Now Remind You That I Am Your Wife: Confide In Me. I Will Be True And Loving To You,  Whatever It May Be."   "Not Yet; In A Little Time,  Perhaps. Bear With Me Still,  My Dear Wife."   His Look Was Haggard; His Voice Bore A Sound Of Anguish; He Clasped Her Hand To Pain As He Left Her. Whatever Might Be His Care,  Anne Could Not Doubt His Love.   And As He Went Into The Drawing-Room,  A Smile On His Face,  Chatting With The Curate,  Laughing With His Newly-Married Wife,  Both Those Unsuspicious Visitors Could Have Protested When They Went Forth,  That Never Was A Man More Free From Trouble Than That Affable Servant Of Her Majesty's The Earl Of Hartledon.     Chapter 36 (Explanations) A Change For The Worse Occurred In The Child,  Lord Elster; And After Two Or Three Weeks' Sinking He Died,  And Was Buried At Hartledon By The Side Of His Mother. Hartledon's Sister Quitted Hartledon House For A Change; But The Countess-Dowager Was There Still,  And Disturbed Its Silence With Moans And Impromptu Lamentations,  Especially When Going Up And Down The Staircase And Along The Corridors.   Mr. Carr,  Who Had Come For The Funeral,  Also Remained. On The Day Following It He And Lord Hartledon Were Taking A Quiet Walk Together, When They Met Mrs. Gum. Hartledon Stopped And Spoke To Her In His Kindly Manner. She Was Less Nervous Than She Used To Be; And She And Her Husband Were Once More At Peace In Their House.   "I Would Not Presume To Say A Word Of Sympathy,  My Lord," She Said, Curtseying,  "But We Felt It Indeed. Jabez Was Cut Up Like Anything When He Came In Yesterday From The Funeral."   Val Looked At Her,  A Meaning She Understood In His Earnest Eyes. "Yes,  It Is Hard To Part With Our Children: But When Grief Is Over,  We Live In The Consolation That They Have Only Gone Before Us To A Better Place,  Where Sin And Sorrow Are Not. We Shall Join Them Later."   She Went Away,  Tears Of Joy Filling Her Eyes. _She_ Had A Son Up There, Waiting For _Her_; And She Knew Lord Hartledon Meant Her To Think Of Him When He Had So Spoken.   "Carr," Said Val,  "I Never Told You The Finale Of That Tragedy. George Gordon Of The Mutiny,  Did Turn Up: He Lived And Died In England."   "No!"   "He Died At Calne. It Was That Poor Woman's Son."   Mr. Carr Looked Round For An Explanation. He Knew Her As The Wife Of Clerk Gum,  And Sister To Hartledon's Housekeeper. Val Told Him All,  As The Facts Had Come Out To Him.   "Pike Always Puzzled Me," He Said. "Disguised As He Was With His Black Hair,  His Face Stained With Some Dark Juice,  There Was A Look In Him That Used To Strike Some Chord In My Memory. It Lay In The Eyes,  I Think. You'll Keep These Facts Sacred,  Carr,  For The Parents' Sake. They Are Known Only To Four Of Us."   "Have You Told Your Wife Yet?" Questioned Mr. Carr,  Recurring To A Different Subject.   "No. I Could Not,  Somehow,  Whilst The Child Lay Dead In The House. She Shall Know It Shortly."   "And What About Dismissing The Countess-Dowager? You Will Do It?"   "I Shall Be Only Too Thankful To Do It. All My Courage Has Come Back To Me,  Thank Heaven!"   The Countess-Dowager Of Kirton's Reign Was Indeed Over; Never Would He Allow Her To Disturb The Peace Of His House Again. He Might Have To Pension Her Off,  But That Was A Light Matter. His Intention Was To Speak To Her In A Few Days' Time,  Allowing An Interval To Elapse After The Boy's Death; But She Forestalled The Time Herself,  As Val Was Soon To Find.   Dinner That Evening Was A Sad Meal--Sad And Silent. The Only One Who Did Justice To It Was The Countess-Dowager--In A Black Gauze Dress And White Crepe Turban. Let What Would Betide,  Lady Kirton Never Failed To Enjoy Her Dinner. She Had A Scheme In Her Head; It Had Been Working There Since The Day Of Her Grandson's Death; And When The Servants Withdrew,  She Judged It Expedient To Disclose It To Hartledon,  Hoping To Gain Her Point,  Now That He Was Softened By Sorrow.   "Hartledon,  I Want To Talk To You," She Began,  Critically Tasting Her Wine; "And I Must Request That You'll Attend To Me."   Anne Looked Up,  Wondering What Was Coming. She Wore An Evening Dress Of Black Crepe,  A Jet Necklace On Her Fair Neck,  Jet Bracelets On Her Arms: Mourning Far Deeper Than The Dowager's.   "Are You Listening To Me,  Val?"   "I Am Quite Ready," Answered Val.   "I Asked You,  Once Before,  To Let Me Have Maude's Children,  And To Allow Me A Fair Income With Them. Had You Done So,  This Dreadful Misfortune Would Not Have Overtaken Your House: For It Stands To Reason That If Lord Elster Had Been Living Somewhere Else With Me,  He Could Not Have Caught Scarlet-Fever In London."   "We Never Thought He Did Catch It," Returned Hartledon. "It Was Not Prevalent At The Time; And,  Strange To Say,  None Of The Other Children Took It,  Nor Any One Else In The House."   "Then What Gave It Him?" Sharply Uttered The Dowager.   What Val Answered Was Spoken In A Low Tone,  And She Caught One Word Only, Providence. She Gave A Growl,  And Continued.   "At Any Rate,  He's Gone; And You Have Now No Pretext For Refusing Me Maude. I Shall Take Her,  And Bring Her Up,  And You Must Make Me A Liberal Allowance For Her."   "I Shall Not Part With Maude," Said Val,  In Quiet Tones Of Decision.   "You Can't Refuse Her To Me,  I Say," Rejoined The Dowager,  Nodding Her Head Defiantly; "She's My Own Grandchild."   "And My Child. The Argument On This Point Years Ago Was Unsatisfactory, Lady Kirton; I Do Not Feel Disposed To Renew It. Maude Will Remain In Her Own Home."   "You Are A Vile Man!" Cried The Dowager,  With An Inflamed Face. "Pass Me The Wine."   He Filled Her Glass,  And Left The Decanter With Her. She Resumed.   "One Day,  When I Was With Maude,  In That Last Illness Of Hers In London, When We Couldn't Find Out What Was The Matter With Her,  Poor Dear,  She Wrote You A Letter; And I Know What Was In It,  For I Read It. You Had Gone Dancing Off Somewhere For A Week."   "To The Isle Of Wight,  On Your Account," Put In Lord Hartledon,  Quietly; "On That Unhappy Business Connected With Your Son Who Lives There. Well, Ma'am?"   "In That Letter Maude Said She Wished Me To Have Charge Of Her Children, If She Died; And Begged You To Take Notice That She Said It," Continued The Dowager. "Perhaps You'll Say You Never Had That Letter?"   "On The Contrary,  Madam,  I Admit Receiving It," He Replied. "I Daresay I Have It Still. Most Of Maude's Letters Lie In My Desk Undisturbed."   "And,  Admitting That,  You Refuse To Act Up To It?"   "Maude Wrote In A Moment Of Pique,  When She Was Angry With Me. But--"   "And I Have No Doubt She Had Good Cause For Anger!"   "She Had Great Cause," Was His Answer,  Spoken With A Strange Sadness That Surprised Both The Dowager And Lady Hartledon. Thomas Carr Was Twirling His Wine-Glass Gently Round On The White Cloth,  Neither Speaking Nor Looe Had Never Heard Of. She Had Lain Awake Hours At Night And Stared With Wide-Open Eyes At The Darkness,  Picturing To Her Inner Soul The Dream Of Splendour That She Would Be Part Of,  The Solace For Past Miseries,  The High Revenges For Past Slights That Would Be Hers After The Hour In Which She Heard The Words Osborn Had Just Quoted,  "Walderhurst Died Last Night!" Oh! If Luck Had Only Helped Them! If The Spells Her Ayah Had Taught Her In Secret Had Only Worked As They Would Have Worked If She Had Been A Native Woman And Had Really Used Them Properly! There Was A Spell She Had Wrought Once Which Ameerah Had Sworn To Her Was To Be Relied On. It Took Ten Weeks To Accomplish Its End. In Secret She Had Known Of A Man On Whom It Had Been Worked. She Had Found Out About It Partly From The Remote Hints Which Had Aided Her Half Knowledge Of Strange Things And By Keeping A Close Watch. The Man Had Died--He Had Died. She Herself,  And With Her Own Eyes Had Seen Him Begin To Ail,  Had Heard Of His Fevers And Pains And Final Death. He Had Died. She Knew That. And She Had Tried The Thing Herself In Dead Secrecy. And At The Fifth Week,  Just As With The Native Who Had Died,  She Heard That Walderhurst Was Ill. During The Next Four Weeks She Was Sick With The Tension Of Combined Horror And Delight. But He Did Not Die In The Tenth Week. They Heard That He Had Gone To Tangiers With A Party Of Notable People,  And That His "Slight" Indisposition Had Passed,  Leaving Him In Admirable Health And Spirits.   Her Husband Had Known Nothing Of Her Frenzy. She Would Not Have Dared To Tell Him. There Were Many Things She Did Not Tell Him. He Used To Laugh At Her Native Stories Of Occult Powers,  Though She Knew That He Had Seen Some Strange Things Done,  As Most Foreigners Had. He Always Explained Such Things Contemptuously On Grounds Which Presupposed In The Performers Of The Mysteries Powers Of Agility,  Dexterity,  And Universal Knowledge Quite As Marvellous As Anything Occult Could Have Been. He Did Not Like Her To Show Belief In The "Tricks Of The Natives," As He Called Them. It Made A Woman Look A Fool,  He Said,  To Be So Credulous.   During The Last Few Months A New Fever Had Tormented Her. Feelings Had Awakened In Her Which Were New. She Thought Things She Had Never Thought Before. She Had Never Cared For Children Or Suspected Herself Of Being The Maternal Woman. But Nature Worked In Her After Her Weird Fashion. She Began To Care Less For Some Things And More For Others. She Cared Less For Osborn's Moods And Was Better Able To Defy Them. He Began To Be Afraid Of Her Temper,  And She Began To Like At Times To Defy His. There Had Been Some Fierce Scenes Between Them In Which He Had Found Her Meet With A Flare Of Fury Words She Would Once Have Been Cowed By. He Had Spoken One Day With The Coarse Slightingness Of A Selfish,  Irritable Brute,  Of The Domestic Event Which Was Before Them. He Did Not Speak Twice.   She Sprang Up Before Him And Shook Her Clenched Fist In His Face,  So Near That He Started Back.   "Don't Say A Word!" She Cried. "Don't Dare--Don't Dare. I Tell You--Look Out,  If You Don't Want To Be Killed."   During The Outpouring Of Her Frenzy He Saw Her In An Entirely New Light And Made Discoveries. She Would Fight For Her Young,  As A Tigress Fights For Hers. She Was Nursing A Passion Of Secret Feeling Of Which He Had Known Nothing. He Had Not For A Moment Suspected Her Of It. She Had Not Seemed That Kind Of Girl. She Had Been Of The Kind That Cares For Finery And Social Importance And The World's Favour,  Not For Sentiments.   On This Morning Of The Letter's Arrival He Watched Her Sobbing And Clutching The Tablecloth,  And Reflected. He Walked Up And Down And Pondered. There Were A Lot Of Things To Be Thought Over.   "We May As Well Accept The Invitation At Once," He Said. "Grovel As Much As You Choose. The More The Better. They'll Like It." Chapter 38   The Osborns Arrived At The Kennel Farm On A Lovely Rainy Morning. The Green Of The Fields And Trees And Hedges Were Many Tempting Odds And Ends Of Things To Dip Into. For One Thing,  She Found Val's Banking Book,  And Some Old Cheque-Books; They Served Her For Some Time. Next She Came Upon Two Packets Sealed Up In White Paper,  With Val's Own Seal. On One Was Written,  "Letters Of Lady Maude;" On The Other,  "Letters Of My Dear Anne." Peering Further Into The Desk,  She Came Upon An Obscure Inner Slide,  Which Had Evidently Not Been Opened For Years,  And She Had Difficulty In Undoing It. A Paper Was In It,  Superscribed,  "Concerning A.W.;" On Opening Which She Found A Letter Addressed To Thomas Carr,  Of The Temple.   Thomas Carr's Letters Were No More Sacred With Her Than Lord Hartledon's. No Woman Living Was Troubled With Scruples So Little As She. It Proved To Have Been Written By A Dr. Mair,  In Scotland,  And Was Dated Several Years Back.   But Now--Did Lord Hartledon Really Know He Had That Dangerous Letter By Him? If So,  What Could Have Possessed Him To Preserve It? Or,  Did He Not Rather Believe He Had Returned It To Mr. Carr At The Time? The Latter, Indeed,  Proved To Be The Case; And Never,  To The End Of His Life,  Would He,  In One Sense,  Forgive His Own Carelessness.   Who Was A.W.? Thought The Curious Old Woman,  As She Drew The Light Nearer To Her,  And Began The Tempting Perusal,  Making The Most Of The Little Time Left. They Could Not Be At Tea Yet,  And She Had Told Lady Hartledon She Was Going To Take Her Nap In Her Own Room. The Gratification Of Rummaging False Val's Desk Was An Ample Compensation; And The Countess-Dowager Hugged Herself With Delight.   But What Was This She Had Come Upon--This Paper "Concerning A. W."? The Dowager's Mouth Fell As She Read; And Gradually Her Little Eyes Opened As If They Would Start From Their Sockets,  And Her Face Grew White. Have You Ever Watched The Livid Pallor Of Fear Struggling To One Of These Painted Faces? She Dashed Off Her Spectacles; She Got Up And Wrung Her Hands; She Executed A Frantic War-Dance; And Finally She Tore,  With The Letter, Into The Drawing-Room,  Where Val And Anne And Thomas Carr Were Beginning Tea And Talking Quietly.   They Rose In Consternation As She Danced In Amongst Them,  And Held Out The Letter To Lord Hartledon.   He Took It From Her,  Gazing In Utter Bewilderment As He Gathered In Its Contents. Was It A Fresh Letter,  Or--His Face Became Whiter Than The Dowager's. In Her Reckless Passion She Avowed What She Had Done--The Letter Was Secreted In His Desk.   "Have You Dared To Visit My Desk?" He Gasped--"Break My Seals? Are You Mad?"   "Hark At Him!" She Cried. "He Calls Me To Account For Just Lifting The Lid Of A Desk! But What Is He? A Villain--A Thief--A Spy--A Murderer--And Worse Than Any Of Them! Ah,  Ha,  My Lady!" Nodding Her False Front At Lady Hartledon,  Who Stood As One Petrified,  "You Stare There At Me With Your Open Eyes; But You Don't Know What You Are! Ask _Him_! What Was Maude--Heaven Help Her--My Poor Maude? What Was She? And _You_ In The Plot; You Vile Carr! I'll Have You All Hanged Together!"   Lord Hartledon Caught His Wife's Hand.   "Carr,  Stay Here With Her And Tell Her All. No Good Concealing Anything Now She Has Read This Letter. Tell Her For Me,  For She Would Never Listen To Me."   He Drew His Wife Into An Adjoining Room,  The One Where The Portrait Of George Elster Looked Down On Its Guests. The Time For Disclosing The Story To His Wife Had Been Somewhat Forestalled. He Would Have Given Half His Life That It Had Never Reached That Other Woman,  Miserable Old Sinner Though She Was.   "You Are Trembling,  Anne; You Need Not Do So. It Is Not Against You That I Have Sinned."   Yes,  She Was Trembling Very Much. And Val,  In His Honourable,  His Refined,  Shrinking Nature,  Would Have Given His Life's Other Half Not To Have Had The Tale To Tell.   It Is Not A Pleasant One. You May Skip It If You Please,  And Go On To The Last Page. Val Once Said He Had Been More Sinned Against Than Sinning: It May Be Deemed That In That Opinion He Was Too Lenient To Himself. Anne, His Wife,  Listened With Averted Face And Incredulous Ears.   "You Have Wanted A Solution To My Conduct,  Anne--To The Strange Preference I Seemed To Accord The Poor Boy Who Is Gone; Why I Could Not Punish Him; Why I Was More Thankful For The Boon Of His Death Than I Had Been For His Life. He Was My Child,  But He Was Not Lord Elster."   She Did Not Understand.   "He Had No Right To My Name; Poor Little Maude Has No Right To It. Do You Understand Me Now?"   Not At All; It Was As Though He Were Talking Greek To Her.   "Their Mother,  When They Were Born,  Was Not My Wife."   "Their Mother Was Lady Maude Kirton," She Rejoined,  In Her Bewilderment.   "That Is Exactly Where It Was," He Answered Bitterly. "Lady Maude Kirton, Not Lady Hartledon."   She Could Not Comprehend The Words; Her Mind Was Full Of Consternation And Tumult. Back Went Her Thoughts To The Past.   "Oh,  Val! I Remember Papa's Saying That A Marriage In That Unused Chapel Was Only Three Parts Legal!"   "It Was Legal Enough,  Anne: Legal Enough. But When That Ceremony Took Place"--His Voice Dropped To A Miserable Whisper,  "I Had--As They Tell Me--A Wife Living."   Slowly She Admitted The Meaning Of The Words; And Would Have Started From Him With A Faint Cry,  But That He Held Her To Him.   "Listen To The Whole,  Anne,  Before You Judge Me. What Has Been Your Promise To Me,  Over And Over Again?--That,  If I Would Tell You My Sorrow, _You_ Would Never Shrink From Me,  Whatever It Might Be."   She Remembered It,  And Stood Still; Terribly Rebellious,  Clasping Her Fingers To Pain,  One Within The Other.   "In That Respect,  At Any Rate,  I Did Not Willingly Sin. When I Married Maude I Had No Suspicion That I Was Not Free As Air; Free To Marry Her, Or Any Other Woman In The World."   "You Speak In Enigmas," She Said Faintly.   "Sit Down,  Anne,  Whilst I Give You The Substance Of The Tale. Not Its Details Until I Am More Myself,  And That Voice"--Pointing To The Next Room--"Is Not Sounding In My Ears. You Shall Hear All Later; At Least,  As Much As I Know Myself; I Have Never Quite Believed In It,  And It Has Been To Me Throughout As A Horrible Dream."   Indeed Mr. Carr Seemed To Be Having No Inconsiderable Amount Of Trouble, To Judge By The Explosions Of Wrath On The Part Of The Dowager.   She Sat Down As He Told Her,  Her Face Turned From Him,  Rebellious At Having To Listen,  But Curious Yet. Lord Hartledon Stood By The Mantelpiece And Shaded His Eyes With His Hand.   "Send Your Thoughts Into The Past,  Anne; You May Remember That An Accident Happened To Me In Scotland. It Was Before You And I Were Engaged,  Or It Would Not Have Happened. Or,  Let Me Say,  It Might Not; For Young Men Are Reckless,  And I Was No Better Than Others. Heaven Have Mercy On Their Follies!"   "The Accident Might Not Have Happened?"   "I Do Not Speak Of The Accident. I Mean What Followed. When Out Shooting I Nearly Blew Off My Arm. I Was Carried To The Nearest Medical Man's,  A Dr. Mair's,  And Remained There; For It Was Not Thought Safe To Move Me; They Feared Inflammation,  And They Feared Locked-Jaw. My Father Was Written To,  And Came; And When He Left After The Danger Was Over He Made Arrangements With Dr. Mair To Keep Me On,  For He Was A Skilful Man,  And Wished To Perfect The Cure. I Thought The Prolonged Stay In The Strange, Quiet House Worse Than All The Rest. That Feeling Wore Off; We Grow Reconciled To Most Conditions; And Things Became More Tolerable As I Grew Better And Joined The Household. There Was A Wild,  Clever,  Random Young Man Staying There,  The Doctor's Assistant--George Gordon; And There Was Also A Young Girl,  Agnes Waterlow. I Used To Wonder What This Agnes Did There,  And One Day Asked The Old Housekeeper; She Said The Young Lady Was There Partly That The Doctor Might Watch Her Health,  Partly Because She Was A Relative Of His Late Wife's,  And Had No Home."   He Paused,  As If In Thought,  But Soon Continued.   "We Grew Very Intimate; I,  Gordon,  And Miss Waterlow. Neither Of Them Was The Person I Should Have Chosen For An Intimacy; But There Was,  In A Sense,  No Help For It,  Living Together. Agnes Was A Wild,  Free,  Rather Coarse-Natured Girl,  And Gordon Drank. That She Fell In Love With Me There's No Doubt--And I Grew To Like Her Quite Well Enough To Talk Nonsense To Her. Whether Any Plot Was Laid Between Her And Gordon To Entrap Me,  Or Whether What Happened Arose In The Recklessness Of The Moment,  I Cannot Decide To This Hour. It Was On My Twenty-First Birthday; I Was Almost Well Again; We Had What The Doctor Called A Dinner,  Gordon A Jollification,  And Agnes A Supper. It Was Late When We Sat Down To It, Eight O'clock; And There Was A Good Deal Of Feasting And Plenty Of Wine. The Doctor Was Called Out Afterwards To A Patient Several Miles Distant, And George Gordon Made Some Punch; Which Rendered None Of Our Heads The Steadier. At Least I Can Answer For Mine: I Was Weak With The Long Illness,  And Not Much Of A Drinker At Any Time. There Was A Great Deal Of Nonsense Going On,  And Gordon Pretended To Marry Me To Agnes. He Said Or Read (I Can't Tell Which,  And Never Knew Then) Some Words Mockingly Out Of The Prayer-Book,  And Said We Were Man And Wife. Whilst We Were All Laughing At The Joke,  The Doctor's Old Housekeeper Came In,  To See What The Noise Was About,  And I,  By Way Of Keeping It Up,  Took Agnes By The Hand,  And Introduced Her As Mrs. Elster. I Did Not Understand The Woman's Look Of Astonishment Then; Unfortunately,  I Have Understood It Too Well Since."   Anne Was Growing Painfully Interested.   "Well,  After That She Threw Herself Upon Me In A Manner That--That Was Extraordinary To Me,  Not Having The Key To It; And I--Lost My Head. Don't Frown,  Anne; Ninety-Nine Men Out Of A Hundred Would Have Lost Theirs; And You'll Say So If Ever I Give You The Details. Of Course Blame Attached To Me; To Me,  And Not To Her. Though At The Time I Mentally Gave Her,  I Assure You,  Her Full Share,  Somewhat After The Manner Of The Pharisee Condemning The Publican. That Also Has Come Home To Me: She Believed Herself To Be Legally My Wife; I Never Gave A Thought To That Evening's Farce,  And Should Have Supposed Its Bearing Any Meaning A Simple Impossibility.   "A Short Time,  And Letters Summoned Me Home; My Mother Was Dangerously Ill. I Remember Agnes Asked Me To Take Her With Me,  And I Laughed At Her. I Arranged To Write To Her,  And Promised To Go Back Shortly--Which,  To Tell You The Truth,  I Never Meant To Do. Having Been Mistaking Her, Mistaking Her Still,  I Really Thought Her Worthy Of Very Little Consideration. Before I Had Been At Home A Fortnight I Received A Letter From Dr. Mair,  Telling Me That Agnes Was Showing Symptoms Of Insanity, And Asking What Provision I Purposed Making For Her. My Sin Was Finding Me Out; I Wondered How _He_ Had Found It Out; I Did Not Ask,  And Did Not Know For Years. I Wrote Back Saying I Would Willingly Take All Expenses Upon Myself; And Inquired What Sum Would Be Required By The Asylum--To Which He Said She Must Be Sent. He Mentioned Two Hundred A-Year,  And From That Time I Paid It Regularly."   "And Was She Really Insane?" Interrupted Lady Hartledon.   "Yes; She Had Been So Once Or Twice Before--And This Was What The Housekeeper Had Meant By Saying She Was With The Doctor That Her Health Might Be Watched. It Appeared That When These Symptoms Came On,  After I Left,  Gordon Took Upon Himself To Disclose To The Doctor That Agnes Was Married To Me,  Telling The Circumstances As They Had Occurred. Dr. Mair Got Frightened: It Was No Light Matter For The Son Of An English Peer To Have Been Deluded Into Marriage With An Obscure And Insane Girl; And The Quarrel That Took Place Between Him And Gordon On The Occasion Resulted In The Latter's Leaving. I Have Never Understood Gordon's Conduct In The Matter: Very Disagreeable Thoughts In Regard To It Come Over Me Sometimes."   "What Thoughts?"   "Oh,  Never Mind; They Can Never Be Set At Rest Now. Let Me Make Short Work Of This Story. I Heard No More And Thought No More; And The Years Went On,  And Then Came My Marriage With Maude. We Went To Paris--_You_ Cannot Have Forgotten Any Of The Details Of That Period,  Anne; And After Our Return To London I Was Surprised By A Visit From Dr. Mair. That Evening,  That Visit And Its Details Stamped Themselves On My Memory For Ever In Characters Of Living Fire."   He Paused For A Moment,  And Something Like A Shiver Seized Him. Anne Said Nothing.   "Maude Had Gone With Some Friends To A Fete At Chiswick,  And Thomas Carr Was Dining With Me. Hedges Came In And Said A Gentleman Wanted To See Me--_Would_ See Me,  And Would Not Be Denied. I Went To Him,  And Found It Was Dr. Mair. In That Interview I Learnt That By The Laws Of Scotland Miss Waterlow Was My Wife."   "And The Suspicion That She Was So Had Never Occurred To You Before?"   "Anne! Should I Have Been Capable Of Marrying Maude,  Or Any One Else,  If It Had? On My Solemn Word Of Honour,  Before Heaven"--He Raised His Right Hand As If To Give Effect To His Words--"Such A Thought Had Never Crossed My Brain. The Evening That The Nonsense Took Place I Only Regarded It As A Jest,  A Pastime--What You Will: Had Any One Told Me It Was A Marriage I Should Have Laughed At Them. I Knew Nothing Then Of The Laws Of Scotland, And Should Have Thought It Simply Impossible That That Minute's Folly, And My Calling Her,  To Keep Up The Joke,  Mrs. Elster,  Could Have Constituted A Marriage. I Think They All Played A Deep Part,  Even Agnes. Not A Soul Had So Much As Hinted At The Word 'Marriage' To Me After That Evening; Neither Gordon,  Nor She,  Nor Dr. Mair In His Subsequent Correspondence; And In That He Always Called Her 'Agnes.' However--He Then Told Me That She Was Certainly My Legal Wife,  And That Lady Maude Was Not.   "At First," Continued Val,  "I Did Not Believe It; But Dr. Mair Persisted He Was Right,  And The Horror Of The Situation Grew Upon Me. I Told All To Carr,  And Took Him Up To Dr. Mair. They Discussed Scottish Law And Consulted Law-Books; And The Truth,  So Far,  Became Apparent. Dr. Mair Was Sorry For Me; He Saw I Had Not Erred Knowingly In Marrying Maude. As To Myself,  I Was Helpless,  Prostrated. I Asked The Doctor,  If It Were Really True,  Why The Fact Had Been Kept From Me: He Replied That He Supposed I Knew It,  And That Delicacy Alone Had Caused Him To Abstain From Alluding To It In His Letters. He Had Been Very Angry When Gordon Told Him,  He Said; Grew Half Frightened As To Consequences; Feared He Should Get Into Trouble For Allowing Me To Be So Entrapped In His House; And He And Gordon Parted At Once. And Then Dr. Mair Asked A Question Which I Could Not Very Well Answer,  Why,  If I Did Not Know She Was My Wife,  I Had Paid So Large A Sum For Agnes. He Had Been Burying The Affair In Silence,  As He Had Assumed I Was Doing; And It Was Only The Announcement Of My Marriage With Maude In The Newspapers That Aroused Him. He Had Thought I Was Acting This Bad Part Deliberately; And He Went Off At Once To Hartledon In Anger; Found I Had Gone Abroad; And Now Came To Me On My Return,  Still In Anger,  Saying At First That He Should Proceed Against Me,  And Obtain Justice For Agnes. When He Found How Utterly Ignorant Of Wrong I Had Been,  His Tone Changed; He Was Truly Grieved And Concerned For Me. Nothing Was Decided: Except That Dr. Mair,  In His Compassion Towards Lady Maude,  Promised Not To Be The First To Take Legal Steps. It Seemed That There Was Only Him To Fear: George Gordon Was Reported To Have Gone To Australia; The Old Housekeeper Was Dead; Agnes Was Deranged. Dr. Mair Left,  And Carr And I Sat On Till Midnight. Carr Took What I Thought A Harsh View Of The Matter; He Urged Me To Separate From Maude--"   "I Think You Should Have Done So For Her Sake," Came The Gentle Interruption.   "For Her Sake! The Words Carr Used. But,  Anne,  Surely There Were Two Sides To The Question. If I Disclosed The Facts,  And Put Her Away From Me,  What Was She? Besides,  The Law Might Be Against Me--Scotland's Iniquitous Law; But In Heaven's Sight _Maude_ Was My Wife,  Not The Other. So I Temporized,  Hoping That Time Might Bring About A Relief,  For Dr. Mair Told Me That Miss Waterlow's Health Was Failing. However,  She Lived On,  And--"   Lady Hartledon Started Up,  Her Face Blanching.   "Is She Not Dead Now? Was She Living When You Married Me? Am _I_ Your Wife?"   He Could Hardly Help Smiling. His Calm Touch Reassured Her.   "Do You Think You Need Ask,  Anne? The Next Year Dr. Mair Called Upon Me Again--It Was The Evening Before The Boy Was Christened; He Had Come To London On Business Of His Own. To My Dismay,  He Told Me That A Change For The Better Was Appearing In Miss Waterlow's Mental Condition; And He Thought It Likely She Might Be Restored To Health. Of Course,  It Increased The Perplexities And My Horror,  Had That Been Needed; But The Hope Or Fear,  Or What You Like To Call It,  Was Not Borne Out. Three Years Later,  The Doctor Came To Me For The Third And Final Time,  To Bring Me The News That Agnes Was Dead."   As The Relief Had Been To Him Then,  So Did It Almost Seem Now To Anne. A Sigh Of Infinite Pain Broke From Her. She Had Not Seen Where All This Was Tending.   "Imagine,  If You Can,  What It Was For Me All Those Years With The Knowledge Daily And Nightly Upon Me That The Disgraceful Truth Might At Any Moment Come Out To Maude--To Her Children,  To The World! Living In The Dread Of Arrest Myself,  Should The Man Gordon Show Himself On The Scene! And Now You See What It Is That Has Marred My Peace,  And Broken The Happiness Of Our Married Life. How Could I Bear To Cross Those Two Deeply-Injured Children,  Who Were Ever Rising Up In Judgment Against Me? How Take Our Children's Part Against Them,  Little Unconscious Things? It Seemed That I Had Always,  Daily,  Hourly,  Some Wrong To Make Up To Them. The Poor Boy Was Heir To Hartledon In The Eyes Of The World; But,  Anne, Your Boy Was The True Heir."   "Why Did You Not Tell Me?--All This Time!"   "I Could Not. I Dared Not. You Might Not Have Liked To Put Reginald Out Of His Rights."   "Oh,  Percival; How Can You So Misjudge Me?" She Asked,  In Tones Of Pain. "I Would Have Guarded The Secret As Jealously As You. I Must Still Do It For Maude."   "Poor Maude!" He Sighed. "Her Mother Forgave Me Before She Died--"   "She Knew It,  Then?"   "Yes. She Learned--"   Sounds Of Drumming On The Door,  And The Countess-Dowager's Voice,  Stopped Lord Hartledon.   "I Had Better Face Her," He Said,  As He Unlocked It. "She Will Arouse The Household."   Wild,  Intemperate,  She Met Him With A Volley Of Abuse That Startled Lady Hartledon. He Got Her To A Sofa,  And Gently Held Her Down There.   "It's What I've Been Obliged To Do All Along," Said Thomas Carr; "I Don't Believe She Has Heard Ten Words Of My Explanation."   "Pray Be Calm,  Lady Kirton," Said Hartledon,  Soothingly; "Be Calm,  As You Value Your Daughter's Memory. We Shall Have The Servants At The Doors."   "I Won't Be Calm; I Will Know The Worst."   "I Wish You To Know It; But Not Others."   "Was Maude Your Wife?"   "No," He Answered,  In Low Tones. "Not--"   "And You Are Not Ashamed To Confess It?" She Interrupted,  Not Allowing Him To Continue. But She Was A Little Calmer In Manner; And Val Stood Upright Before Her With Folded Arms.   "I Am Ashamed And Grieved To Confess It; But I Did Not Knowingly Inflict The Injury. In Scotland--"   "Don't Repeat The Shameful Tale," She Cried; "I Have Heard From Your Confederate,  Carr,  As Much As I Want To Hear. What Do You Deserve For Your Treachery To Maude?"   "All I Have Reaped--And More. But It Was Not Intentional Treachery; And Maude Forgave Me Before She Died."   "She Knew It! You Told Her? Oh,  You Cruel Monster!"   "I Did Not Tell Her. She Did As You Have Just Done--Interfered In What Did Not Concern Her,  In Direct Disobedience To My Desire; And She Found It Out For Herself,  As You,  Ma'am,  Have Found It Out."   "When?"   "The Winter Before Her Death."   "Then The Knowledge Killed Her!"   "No. Something Else Killed Her,  As You Know. It Preyed Upon Her Spirits."   "Lord Hartledon,  I Can Have You Up For Fraud And Forgery,  And I'll Do It. It Will Be The Consideration Of Maude's Fame Against Your Punishment,  And I'll Make A Sacrifice To Revenge,  And Prosecute You."   "There Is No Fraud Where An Offence Is Committed Unwittingly," Returned Lord Hartledon; "And Forgery Is Certainly Not Amongst My Catalogue Of Sins."   "You Are Liable For Both," Suddenly Retorted The Dowager; "You Have Stuck Up 'Maude,  Countess Of Hartledon,' On Her Monument In The Church; And What's That But Fraud And Forgery?"   "It Is Neither. If Maude Did Not Live Countess Of Hartledon,  She At Least So Went To Her Grave. We Were Remarried,  Privately,  Before She Died. Mr. Carr Can Tell You So."   "It's False!" Raved The Dowager.   "I Arranged It,  Ma'am," Interposed Mr. Carr. "Lord Hartledon And Your Daughter Confided The Management To Me,  And The Ceremony Was Performed In Secrecy In London"   The Dowager Looked From One To The Other,  As If She Were Bewildered.   "Married Her Again! Why,  That Was Making Bad Worse. Two False Marriages! Did You Do It To Impose Upon Her?"   "I See You Do Not Understand," Said Lord Hartledon. "The--My--The Person In Scotland Was Dead Then. She Was Dead,  I Am Thankful To Say,  Before Maude Knew Anything Of The Affair."   Up Started The Dowager. "Then Is The Woman Dead Now? Was She Dead When You Married _Her_?" Laying Her Hand Upon Lady Hartledon's Arm. "Are Her Children Different From Maude's?"   "They Are. It Could Not Be Otherwise."   "Her Boy Is Really Lord Elster?"   She Flung Lady Hartledon's Arm From Her. Her Voice Rose To A Shriek.   "Maude Is Not Lady Maude?"   Val Shook His Head Sadly.   "And Your Children Are Lords And Ladies And Honourables," Darting A Look Of Consternation At Anne,  "Whilst My Daughter's--"   "Peace,  Lady Kirton!" Sternly Interrupted Val. "Let The Child,  Maude,  Be Lady Maude Still To The World; Let Your Daughter's Memory Be Held Sacred. The Facts Need Never Come Out: I Do Not Fear Now That They Ever Will. I And My Wife And Thomas Carr,  Will Guard The Secret Safely: Take You Care To Do So."   "I Wish You Had Been Hung Before You Married Maude!" Responded The Aggrieved Dowager.   "I Wish I Had," Said He.   "Ugh!" She Grunted Wrathfully,  The Ready Assent Not Pleasing Her.   "With My Poor Boy's Death The Chief Difficulty Has Passed Away. How Things Would Have Turned Out,  Or What Would Have Been Done,  Had He Lived, It Has Well-Nigh Worn Away My Brain To Dwell Upon. Carr Knows That It Has Nearly Killed Me: My Wife Knows It."   "Yes,  You Could Tell Her Things,  And Keep The Diabolical Secret From Poor Maude And From Me," She Returned,  Rather Inconsistently. "I Don't Doubt You And Your Wife Have Exulted Enough Over It."   "I Never Knew It Until To-Night," Said Anne,  Gently Turning To The Dowager. "It Has Grieved Me Deeply. I Shall Never Cease To Feel For Your Daughter's Wrongs; And It Will Only Make Me More Tender And Loving To Her Child. The World Will Never Know That She Is Not Lady Maude."   "And The Other Name--Elster--Because You Know She Has No Right To It," Was The Spiteful Retort. "I Wish To My Heart You Had Been Drowned In Your Brother's Place,  Lord Hartledon; I Wished It At The Time."   "I Know You Did."   "You Could Not Then Have Made Fools Of Me And My Dear Daughter; And The Darling Little Cherub In The Churchyard Would Have Been The Real Heir. There'd Have Been A Good Riddance Of You."   "It Might Have Been Better For Me In The Long Run," Said He,  Quietly, Passing Over The Inconsistencies Of Her Speech. "Little Peace Or Happiness Have I Had In Living. Do Not Let Us Recriminate,  Lady Kirton, Or On Some Scores I Might Reproach You. Maude Loved My Brother,  And You Knew It; I Loved Miss Ashton,  And You Knew That; Yet From The Very Hour The Breath Was Out Of My Brother's Body You Laid Your Plans And Began Your Schemes Upon Me. I Was Weak As Water In Your Hands,  And Fell Into The Snare. The Marriage Was Your Work Entirely; And In The Fruits It Has Brought Forth There Might Arise A Nice Question,  Lady Kirton,  Which Of Us Is Most To Blame: I,  Who Erred Unwittingly,  Or You Who--"   "Will You Have Done?" She Cried.   "I Have Nearly Done. I Only Wish You To Remember That Others May Have Been Wrong,  As Well As Myself. Dr. Ashton Warned Us That Night That The Marriage Might Not Bring A Blessing. Anne,  It Was A Cruel Wrong Upon You," He Added,  Impulsively Turning To Her; "You Felt It Bitterly,  I Shamefully; But,  My Dear Wife,  You Have Lived To See That It Was In Reality A Mercy In Disguise."   The Countess-Dowager,  Not Finding Words Strong Enough To Express Her Feelings At This,  Made A Grimace At Him.   "Let Us Be Friends,  Lady Kirton! Let Us Join Together Silently In Guarding Maude's Good Name,  And In Burying The Past. In Time Perhaps Even I May Live It Down. Not A Human Being Knows Of It Except We Who Are Here And Dr. Mair,  Who Will For His Own Sake Guard The Secret. Maude Was My Wife Always In The Eyes Of The World; And Maude Certainly Died So: All Peace And Respect To Her Memory! As For My Share,  Retribution Has Held Its Heavy Hand Upon Me; It Is Upon Me Still,  Heaven Knows. It Was For Maude I Suffered; For Maude I Felt; And If My Life Could Have Repaired The Wrong Upon Her,  I Would Willingly Have Sacrificed It. Let Us Be Friends: It May Be To The Interest Of Both."   He Held Out His Hand,  And The Dowager Did Not Repulse It. She Had Caught The Word "Interest."   "_Now_ You Might Allow Me Maude And That Income!"   "I Think I Had Better Allow You The Income Without Maude."   "Eh? What?" Cried The Dowager,  Briskly. "Do You Mean It?"   "Indeed I Do. I Have Been Thinking For Some Little Time That You Would Be More Comfortable In A Home Of Your Own,  And I Am Willing To Help You To One. I'll Pay The Rent Of A Nice Little Place In Ireland,  And Give You Six Hundred A-Year,  Paid Quarterly,  And--Yes--Make You A Yearly Present Of Ten Dozen Of Port Wine."   Ah,  The Crafty Man! The Last Item Had A Golden Sound In It.   "Honour Bright,  Hartledon?"   "Honour Bright! You Shall Never Want For Anything As Long As You Live. But You Must Not"--He Seemed To Search For His Words--"You Must Undertake Not To Come Here,  Upsetting And Indulging The Children."   "I'll Undertake It. Good Vintage,  Mind."   "The Same That You Have Here."   The Countess-Dowager Beamed. In The Midst Of Her Happiness--And It Was What She Had Not Felt For Many A Long Day,  For Really The Poor Old Creature Had Been Put About Sadly--She Bethought Herself Of Propriety. Melting Into Tears,  She Presently Bewailed Her Exhaustion,  And Said She Should Like Some Tea: Perhaps Good Mr. Carr Would Bring Her A Teaspoonful Of Brandy To Put Into It.   They Brought Her Hot Tea,  And Mr. Carr Put The Brandy Into It,  And Anne Took It To Her On The Sofa,  And Administered It,  Her Own Tears Overflowing. She Was Thinking What An Awful Blow This Would Have Been To Her Own Mother.   "Little Maude Shall Be Very Dear To Me Always,  Val," She Whispered. "This Knowledge Will Make Me Doubly Tender With Her."   He Laid His Hand Fondly Upon Her,  Giving Her One Of His Sweet Sad Smiles In Answer. She Could At Length Understand What Feelings,  In Regard To The Children,  Had Actuated Him. But From Henceforth He Would Be Just To All Alike; And Maude Would Receive Her Share Of Correction For Her Own Good.   "I Always Said You Did Not Give Me Back The Letter," Observed Mr. Carr, When They Were Alone Together Later,  And Val Sat Tearing Up The Letter Into Innumerable Bits.   "And I Said I Did,  Simply Because I Could Not Find It. You Were Right, Carr,  As You Always Are."   "Not Always. But I Am Sorry It Came To Light In This Way."   "Sorry! It Is The Greatest Boon That Could Have Fallen On Me. The Secret Is,  So To Say,  Off My Mind Now,  And I Can Breathe As I Have Not Breathed For Years. If Ever A Heartfelt Thanksgiving Went Up To Heaven One From Me Will Ascend To-Night. And The Dowager Does Not Feel The Past A Bit. She Cared No More For Maude Than For Any One Else. She Can't Care For Any One. Don't Think Me Harsh,  Carr,  In Saying So."   "I Am Sure She Does Not Feel It," Emphatically Assented Mr. Carr. "Had She Felt It She Would Have Been Less Noisy. Thank Heaven For Your Sake, Hartledon,  That The Miserable Past Is Over."   "And Over More Happily Than I Deserved."   A Silence Ensued,  And Lord Hartledon Flung The Bits Of Paper Carefully Into The Fire. Presently He Looked Up,  A Strange Earnestness In His Face.   "It Is The Custom Of Some Of Our Cottagers Here To Hang Up Embossed Cards At The Foot Of Their Bed,  With Texts Of Scripture Written On Them. There Is One Verse I Should Like To Hang Before Every Son Of Mine,  Though I Had Ten Of Them,  That It Might Meet Their Eyes Last Ere The Evening's Sleeping,  In The Morning's First Awakening. The Ninth Verse Of The Eleventh Chapter Of Ecclesiastes."   "I Don't Remember," Observed Thomas Carr,  After A Pause Of Thought.   "'Rejoice,  O Young Man,  In Thy Youth: And Let Thy Heart Cheer Thee In The Days Of Thy Youth,  And Walk In The Ways Of Thine Heart,  And In The Sight Of Thine Eyes: But Know Thou,  That For All These Things God Will Bring Thee Into Judgment.'" Publication Date: June 19th 2014 https://www.bookrix.com/-azbdcf75988b535

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-brittany-finney-dear-diary/

Brittany Finney Dear Diary Intro Dear diary, OMG my mom finally got me a diary! Yayyyy. It's pink and has a line of silver on the spine. I love it to bits! Well I'll be writing all my feelings in this so enjoy? Chapter 1 Dear diary, after begging for a year for a puppy my mom finally agreed! I am so excited I feel like I'm going to throw up. We are getting the puppy tomorrow, we went to the animal shelter this morning and I picked one out. She's a girl and she's a chiwawa. I don't know what to name her but I think I'll call her Cloe. Cute right? Well I'm going to the pet store right now with my mom and uncle to get some dog food, puppy pads and toys. I've never been so anxious in my life! It's as if it were Christmas eve and your sitting by the tree waiting to open your gifts. That's how I feel. We get in the car and I sneak out some mint gum out of my mom's purse. I chew slowly and relax. We finally arrive and when we walk in there's all kinds of animals like hamsters, rats, mice, birds, and guinea pigs. I see a chiwawa and it makes me more anxious. Well talk to you guys tomorrow it's kinda hard to walk and write. People are looking at me like I'm cookoo! Okay bye! Chapter Two Ok well, It's been sooo long since I've written in this diary! Oops! Well anyways, Chloe's sick.. So we're taking her to the vet tommorow. She has been sleeping all day, and she hasn't been eating or drinking much. I'm kinda worried.. Also, she has a sorta limp when she walks. Ok anyways, guess what?! My mom is pregnant! It's a girl. My parents decided to name her Brenna. I can't wait to meet her! She's gonna be so cute! Well yea. Write to ya guys soon! Sorry this was short! Bye! Text: BrittanyBooks All rights reserved. Publication Date: January 8th 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-lilbritt10

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-bianca-ramirez-why-me/

Bianca Ramirez Why Me.? Don't trust just anyone. To the ones who can relate being betrayed and ending up brokenhearted for blindly trusting someone. September 9, 2013 It all started first day of eighth grade. I walk into the main entrance of my school along with an old classmate. We're directed to the school cafeteria, where the rest of the other eighth graders are. I walked in and I go to my class table 806. I sit and wait. After a few minutes my teacher tells me to go to 814's class table. As I sit with strangers I look around and see that we're being walked to our first class. I stand and follow the rest. As weird as it seems I saw my cousin's ex girlfriend, apart of my class. Walking to the double doors in the back I see a familiar face. I saw him a lot last year, he's my best friend's friend. He stands just in front of the do or wearing a blue and white sweater, black hat that shows off his hair "flip". He stands tall about 5' looking around. As i get closer my face turns red and hot, butterfly's start fluttering in my stomach. I'm so nervous my legs start to shake, and I forget how to walk for a second. When I walk past him I think about him, his face, his hair, his clothes. After a while I get distracted and no longer think about him.  October 5, 2013 As each day of school went passed, I found myself talking to my cousins ex girlfriend, we became friends. Our lunch period is shared with the fucking entire eighth grade. I noticed myself searching the unfamiliar faces for him. I found him, and I learned his name from my Best friend. He is a Mexican with fairly cinnamon colored skin. He had silver braces, dark black hair and the most sexiest voice. He always crossed my mind. My face always turning red as he walked by. He made me forget what I was I initially going to do. A friend I no longer interact with anymore, is in his class, 809. I tell my best friend, and my cousins ex, my crush.  October 8, 2013 I become closer with my cousins ex girlfriend, I now call her one of my best friends. My best friend starts helping me with my crush. The more I see him around the more I find myself thinking about him. He soon crossed my mind and never left. Later I learn that a not that ugly guy added me on Facebook. 1 mutal friend, my cousins ex. He started talking to me as if he knew me I was like 'woah who the fuck are you', I don't really have a lot of friends, so I talk to him. Before he says good bye, he says I'm cute. I take the compliment and say bye. I asked my cousins ex about him, she just smiled and said be careful with him. Confused I nodded. October 11, 2013 I saw my best friend this morning. She was walking to her first period class. I walked up to her and tapped her. She turned around as I said hi. She smiled and told me some good news.., well great news. My crush wants her to bring me to him at lunch so we can officially meet. I smiled bigger than ever, blushing. In my head I was like " Holy fucking shit.! Yeass.! Oh shit I gotta talk to him.! Shit.! I can't do this.!" I told her " I can't." She looked puzzled and asked me why not, I explained that I'm nervous. She calmed me down by saying she was going to be at my side. As we walked she said good bye and walked in her class, I proceeded to walk down the hall to the last classroom on the left. I walked in and sat down, later I noticed I was drawing his name all over my notebook, hearts with his name and our names together. I don't know what we did in class that day, being completely in Lala land the whole time.I was thinking  "Damnit what the fuck she teach" when I walk to my next class. Later that day at lunch I was sitting with my best friend mentally preparing myself. We got up and walked towards his class table, the closer we got the faster my heart would beat. I chickened out and walked passed his table to the back doors. I stopped and told my best friend I was ready. She grabbed my wrist and walked me over to him. He stood and faced us, she grabbed his wrist and made our hands touch. I felt the room get hotter, as I nervously said Hi. He said Hi back and I awkwardly stuttered as I said " Umm..so she brought me here, uh.. So hi ". He said " Soo..uh., how are you doin'.? " I said good, and asked the question in return, he also said good. Then he asked how I've been, I replied okay. We awkwardly paused for a few seconds until he saw he friend walk up to us and look at us back n' forth. My crush asked his friend what he wanted. His friend smirked and said " Nothing ". Then his friend yelled " He likes you.! He wants to marry you.! " My crush a quickly said " Shut the fuck up yo.! " as he punched and pushed his friend away. I started to giggle and watch him. I blushed more because of what his friend said. When his friend finally went to sit down, my crush apologized. I said it was okay smiling at him. Noticing he looked nervous, I said I had to go, also because we were standing there in an awkward silence. I smiled as I said bye. He smiled back and said by. Forgetting how to walk I almost fell as I turned to go to the bathroom with my best friend .  October 15, 2013 Yeas.!!!! At lunch today I walked to talk to my crush. Not really willingly since I was almost beingf dragged there, I was nervous. My friends left me alone with my crush and his friends, I asked him if we could walk. We walked about 5-7 feet away from his friends in the middle of the school yard. We said about three words before we had an uncomfortable silence. Taking a huge risk to break the silence, I managed to say " Well uh..you're cute and stuff.." Luckily he said thanks, and said " Um you too.." I blushed and said thanks.  His friends soon came to crowd us and stare. I looked at them like "What the fuck you want" Me and my Crush looked at them as they said " Ohh no, no continue.." With a slight smirk. My crush made them go away, and allowed only one of his friends to stand within 3 feet of us, because he wanted to listen. One of my guy friends started to whisper to me, telling me to ask him out already. I continually said " No shut up ", most girls want the guy to ask them out, like me. My guy friend asked me if he could talk to his friend, my crush, I said sure and looked at my friends, who were starring at me in a group. My crush's friend, The observer who wanted to listen, came to me and asked if I liked his friend. I said " Noooooo I'm standing here this nervous for no reason" sarcastically. He asked again and I said " Yeas " being more clear. When my crush returned he said " So are you nervous.?" I said " Yeah.." Then he walked to my side and he said " There's a question being talked about.." I walked with him as I said "Mhm". He looked at me and said " Would you like to go out with me.?" I said " Yeah..kinda" with a smile, mentally freaking out in excitement. He asked me if I wanted him to walk me to my class. I said yeas and bit my lip.  When we got to my class "The observer" came to talk to us before I went in. He looked at him and he asked if he was going to ask me out yet. My crush told him he did already. He then looked at us back n' forth saying " You did.!? He did.!?" I smile and we both said "Yeas.!" He said "Oh" as my teacher made me walk in class. We said bye. I walked to my cousins ex and I told her. We hugged, squealed, and started jumping.  I replayed the moment in my head, drawing the date in my notebook with hearts all around it.  Walking out of school I saw him and we walked out together. He goes right, and I go left, he awkwardly left me not realizing that I don't go the same way. I said bye awkwardly loud and he turned to look at me and I waved bye. He said bye and I kept walking. I was so happy I couldn't believe I finally had the guy I really really liked. I'm that lucky to have him and be happy. He's a nice tall sexy Hispanic guy. We loom so cute together. Hehe I really really like him. I'm just so happy he's mine October 17, 2013 At lunch in the schoolyard, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. We talked a little about ourselves and awkwardly stood in front of each other nervous, my face as usual was red. He walked me to my class again but I chose to walk to his class with him. We were along the wall talking when one of my friends walked over to us and told me he's supposed to walk me to class, not the other way around. I giggled. She grabbed my arm and said " Come on let's go to class" I said okay, and said bye to my boyfriend, before he said bye to me my friend said " Ey, to you guys gotta hug" I looked at him, then I blushed as we hugged. I smiled and bit my lip when we let go and said bye.  When school ended, I saw him walking out of the building and we walkeds out together. We hugged as we walked in different directions. October 19, 2013 I'm at home talking to my boyfriend on Facebook, I have family over for my dads birthday. It was twelve o'clock so it was October 20th. But around 11pm on the 19th, was the first time i called him " Babe ". When i called him that he called me " Boo " I liked when he called me that. After a while My boyfriend said he was going to go to sleep. After talking for about an hour. I said okay but I have to tell him something. He asked "Wha" I said " Well.." Nervously deciding if I wanted to do this.  He said " Wha "  I said " Te amoo <3 " (I love you in Spanish)  He said " Well me too <3 :) " I would have preferred him saying I love you or te amo but that's okay too. Some people say " Me too" so basically the same thing. I was just happyt I said it, and that he basically said it back.  Maybe I should have waited awhile before telling him I love him, or waited till he said it. October 22, 2013 My best friend started acting weird when I told her I was talking to that not so ugly guy from Facebook. When I was walking with my boyfriend in the school yard, she came up to us and said " You better stop. I'm warning you." I told my boyfriend not to believe anything she says because she's just mad at me for no reason. He said okay confused. I knew why she was mad. I was talking to her  boyfriend.  I didn't know he was her boyfriend when I started talking to him on Facebook. I walked with my boyfriend to class hugged and said bye. I was angry at my "best friend" like who the fuck does she think she is telling me who I cant talk to, "Warning" me.! I'm going to do what I want. He's my friend. October 23, 2013 This day. I can't bare it. I don't ever want to remember this day. That fucking bitch that called her self my best friend told all the girls in my class I was cheating on my boyfriend, with hers.! What the fuck.! I didn't see my boyfriend all day, and I had no clue she was saying that until 6th period in the school yard. I noticed my boyfriend avoiding me in the handball Court. I was wondering what she did, then it was clear when his friends came up to me and said " Yo, I heard you're cheating on my son" I was shocked, angry and scared. I yelled " I'm not" and went to that bitch. I was yelling at her and cursing her out. I knew my boyfriend heard the rumors, I tried to stay strong. I knew what I was going to do later, and exactly what was going to happen.  I sat angrily in my 7th and 8th period classes. Almost crying in 7th. Imagining what was going to happen. I wanted to talk to my boyfriend after school, like I did before when we walked out together. His class was dismissed before mine. I didn't know where he was. I tried to stay calm. As I got home I ran to my room, I grabbed my laptop, got on Facebook, then I looked at my chat. He was on. I worrily waited. He messaged me, " Hi ".  Later That day I messaged him back saying " Hi. I'm not cheating on you" not thinking. He asked me what's going on. I told him nothing and that I wasn't cheating. I should have explained everything. He said " I think we should go separate". My eyes welled up with tears, them slowly one tear rolled down my cheek. Soon my eyes were waterfalls. I was crying my ass off, screaming into my pillow. We talked a little, and he asked if were Gucci to be friends. I told him I guess. He left me on seen. I starred at my screen, in disbelief of what just happened. I was crying, in a fetal position, by myself in the dark.  I just wanted to die. I cried since 4:18 pm, til 10:30pm., only because I fell asleep. The tears wouldn't stop. The pain grew stronger. Ripping my heart in two. I didn't want to talk to anyone. No one could help me ease the pain.  That bitch will fucking pay for this. The Next day I was being called a slut. Some of the girls in my class starred and looked at me like I was some sort of whore. I tried not to cry. Walking through the halls I avoided eye contact with him, his friends, and everyone who knew about it. I could bare walking through the halls without thinking of it. Every thought crushed me. While that bitch was walking around happier than ever. And for what.? Her boyfriend broke up with her for causing problems with me. I hated her and her ex. If he never had talked to me this wouldn't of happened. One little secret about him, he was cheating  with her and she  knew . Their relationship was a " Secret." Fuck him. Fuck her. She will pay for this. I blame her and him. They don't get to be happy. She doesn't get to be happy. She better watch. I'm never letting this go. I love my ex-boyfriend soo much. Thinking about what happened makes me sad then remembering who's responsible for it gets me so pissed off.  Few weeks later I'm completely in love with my ex still. I haven't forgotten. I hate her and I'm always pissing her off. Like to day she was being mean too my newly found friend. We became friends when I explained to her what happened because she said I kinda deserved being dumped. She wasn't being mean though, she's nice, short and sweet.  So in 7th period I flipped off that bitch for yelling at my friend. She told the teachers and they asked me if I flipped her off. I lied and said No. They asked my newly found friend and like a good friend she lied and said that I didn't. Well I. Not sure if she saw me though.  But me and her were walking to 8th period when the bell rang. We walked through the double doors to the other hall way, where there were 3 classrooms within. That bitch was waiting for me In the corner to pass her. As I walked passed she "attacked" The fight Well obviously she tried to somewhat jump me. Waiting for me to pass her while she was hiding in the corner, trying to get the slightest advantage. She jumped kinda and grabbed my hair. I put my stuff down and turned around facing her while she tried to land a punch still pulling my hair. I grabbed hers and clawed her head. She wouldn't let go. I slammed her against a wall and tried to knee her in the face. I did but not hard enough. Swinging her head around she didn't let go. Kids surrounded us and the team leader grabbed me as the principal grabbed her. As they pulled us apart she let go, I ripped her hair out. Like no bitch I'm not letting you go. The team leader held me until they took her away. I wrote an incident report. I saw with the vice principal so I said " Mañana mueres" ( tomorrow yo die). The last bell rang and i was escorted out of the building. I went to my car while the dean watched making sure no other problems were caused. 3 months later: February 2014 Its been awhile since any "activity" fights or arguments with that bitch. But other things have happened. February the month of The famous Valentines day. Today the 12th my ex-boyfriend messaged me on Facebook for the first time, since we broke up in October 2013. It was nervous causing. My hands were shaking, he said " Hi, can I talk to you.?" I was scared. I knew he wasn't going to ask me back out though, that's sucks. But anyways he basically told me to get over him because I'm wasting my time. He said it in the nicest and sweetest way. I couldn't be mad or sad. I was just happy that he said something.He told me to tell that bitch not to talk to him on Facebook, in public or make eye contact. He made me laugh with that. We agreed that she's awful and that we hate her. I shortly explained that I didn't and I'm sorry for everything that happened. He apologized too and told me to stay safe. He didn't say anything else.  March 2014 Well this bitch is starting with me again. It didnt get physical though, not yet. I haven't had my revenge yet. In 7th period today she walked in the class before it started, looking like she wanted to cry. She told her friends that her boyfriend was ignoring her and didn't want to talk to her. I walked by her a said " Heartbreak sucks doesn't it ". She turned around and started yelling at me. She called me a bitch. But I was standing there laughing at her. It sucks when you're the one being heartbroken huh.? Stupid bitch. The guidance counselor came and took her, then came back for me. She sat in her office satingf what happened. She was trying to get me in trouble. It didn't work. She was the one being yelled at by the guidance counselor that she makes a problem out of nothing and she has zero people skills. She also told her she will grow up and have no friends, and have alot of problems in highschool. I was trying not to laugh. It was so funny. The counselor escorted us back to class, I walked in laughing. My 7th period teacher moved my seat. But I don't care. New seat was concentrating loneliness.  My 7th period teacher made me stay a few minutes after class to avoid a fight in the hall again. My tall friend walked with me like a body guard. She asked me if I could tell her what happened the day she started the rumor. I explained, painful details, and was in a bad mood after. I hate talking about it. Today•March-12•2014 It hurts. It was only 8 days...but guess what I don't care. I was crushing on him since September 9, 2013. I fell in love with in October 2013. No one understands the pain I feel thy e sadness that fills my heart. Or the sorrow that fucks with my mind. I love him. Whether he loves me or not. It sucks because I know he doesn't love me. He made it very clear. & it hurts but, Hey shit happens. I can't even be mad that we broke up, like I should have did something but I curled up in a fetal position and I cried. That day I cried myself to sleep. Tears came like a damn waterfall. The tears never stopped. When I think of it now I don't cry a waterfall, only a tear or two roll down my cheek, still filled with pain and sorrow. I feel the pain when I remember. I feel broken and destroyed like I'm unable to love anyone else. Stuck. I guess I'm okay with that, I know I can't wait forever but it it'll take forever then I'll wait. I see him and I smile, then I remember. All flashbacks fill my eyes with tears. One by one rolling down my cheek filled with pain. The pain I can't bare anymore. I can't sleep. I can't think. I can't do anything without the thought of him being once mine running through me. Every thought making me burst out in tears, screaming in pain as if I was stabbed in the heart several times. It's to the extent where I can actually the pain, coming out of my thoughts through my eyes. It mocks me. It kills me, I may be smiling around him like I don't give one single fuck about what happened but inside I'm completely broken, and slowly dying, I can't take the pain off losi g his this way. Why did this happen to me and him.? I don't know. I wish it didn't. I wish I could take back every stupid mistake I've made, and anything I could have don't to end up suffering like this. Does anyone know how long its been since I was in his arms.? Since we went out.? Since he felt the same way.? Since I fell in love with him.? With his face, his eyes, his voice, his smile, yeas his braces too. All his flaws and Imperfections.? I don't care if he's not perfect. To me he is, and I couldn't of found anyone more perfect. I see all his good and bad, it makes me love him more. If he knew how much he means to me maybe he'd love me again. Or at least start to like me again. I love him so much. It hurts that he doesn't know and doesn't feel the same way. If I told him how I feel what would he think.? That I'm crazy.? Obsessed.? A liar.? Thirsty.? I know he won't believe me if I told him how much he means to me.  The one and only person I blame for ruining everything is that dumb fucking bitch. She better not of forgotten that I haven't fucked her up yet. She doesn't get to be happy ever. She. She did this to me. The End That's it.! Thank you if you read it all the way through. This was based on an actual problem. The entire story is true.I was the girl in the story, I didn't cheat on him, I really love him. It's been about 6 months since we broke up. I still see him, and very rarely talk to his friends. I do however ignore him in the hall, I know he trys to ignore me too. So I thought why not make it easier for him. I still get nervous and forget how to walk around him but I'll get through it. But I'm struggling to.  If it was boring, well its my first try at writing a book.  Publication Date: March 12th 2014 https://www.bookrix.com/-rn5bf2d261c0235

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-caitlynn-s-trapped/

Caitlynn.s trapped trapped Walking home from the bus stop dreding to open the door to my house,knowing dad will be there and knowing what's going to happen.It happends absalutley everyday it's kinda like a routine now , exept its not the everyday wake up brush your hair wash your face and brush your teeth routine its the leave for school happy come home and be scared to what he's gonna yell at you next for routine.I love school most people think im weird for it ... but they dont understand, most people don't.I hate the little pathetic people who think their lives are so horrible because their dad took away their phone for a week , they know nothing. My names katie and my dads an abusive drug addict , has been ever since i was born.I have two brothers zach and tyler. Normal people would be happy they have siblings but im not my brothers are exatly like my dad. selfish and controling. They act like their shit dont stink and thier perfect or something. My mom is in the same boat i'm in. She feels like she is trapped in this house and there is nothing she can do about it... she doesn't realize she can do something about it ... she can fix it all.My mom is my ticket out of this hell house, and she needs to get that into her head because I would love nothing more than to just leave. cant miss the bus ... So im ready for school,make-up's on and hairs perfect.... or atleast it was. He woke up right before I was about to leave,my hair is now all knotty and my masscara is running. Im brushing my teeth and applying make up to my face as quickly as i can to try to cover the bruise... Thinking to myself " you can't miss the bus, hurry up!FASTER!". Thank the god above I diddnt miss the bus I dont know what I would do if I was stuck at home all day with him.Is I walk up the bus stairs as I plaster on the fake smile I put on everyday so nobody knows somethings wrong,and just like every day the fake smile works because no one suspects a thing. One of my bestfriends rosie sits with me,which is a great thing because no one else really likes me... they think im a bitch .. but if they had to go through what I have to everyday they would act just like me.I tell her almost everything, she has a good life,great parents she doesnt have to worry about the things i have to worry about so she doesnt really get me.But she is still my bestfriend,she gets me more than anyone else does. danny well we arive at school same time as usual and we go and stand in the same spot as we usualy do.Exept this day was different, a guy danny walked up to me i diddnt really know him evept we went to the movies once together with a bunch of our other friends.He told me how he liked me and he has liked me ever since we went and saw paranormal activity 3,which was months ago...He was really cute i wish he would have told me sooner. We started texting everynight and video chatting because he would always say how he missed me and wanted to see my beautiful face.He made me feel special like no one has ever made me feel before.He told me Iwas beautiful and he always told his friends " ya thats her" with a huge smile on his face. I realize now he only acted that way because he knew i was to good for him and he was happy he had me.He always asked me for pictures and to sext him and other things i refused to do.So i guess i wasnt good enough for him.He ended up cheating on me with one of my very close friends... he blamed his parents, " my parents dont like you.. im sorry and i love you but its over " is what he texted me.He wasnt even man enough to tell me face to face.I thought he loved me but I thought wrong. After that i really felt alone i would cry myself to sleep everytnight from what he did to me,And of course my dad just made it worse by hitting me. He'd always say " you wanna cry i'll give you something to cry for!" but i never told him about danny cause he would just hit me some more.At that point i was just done with my life,I wanted to end it... crystal After danny my life was just a mess.But after the daily " routine" every morning i walked on the bus suprised to see a new face sitting behind rosie.I sat down as usual and started to talk to rosie and i turned my face to look at the new girl.She was kinda odd.. she was wearing suspenders, i guess cause they looked cool? but I admired her sence of style.I liked that she diddnt care what anyone else thought about her and she liked herself just the way she was. She is still like that and i still admire her.. she is my best friend.I talk to crystal about absalutley everything.rosie might be my bestfriend too but she doesnt understand me like crystal does.Crystal had an abusive father... and she has had a boyfriend named danny screw with her heart too... isant it ironic? Its like we were ment to be bestfriends(: school So me rosie and crystal are bestfriends i think you guys got that. We talk all the way to and from school on the bus and we see eachother in the hallway between classes.you would think we would get tired of eachother right? yeah most people would but we dont(: they keep me whole... they keep me saine.If it wasnt for them i swear i'd end my life in a heart beat.Nobody undertsands or even knows what i go through everyday exept them and they help me through it. They wipe my tears and help cover for me on why i have another bruise or why i missed a day.Its not that they dont want to tell on my father but they dont for me. I love my dad i do i always have and always will he does beat me and yes drugs are more important than me but i dont want him to go... i want him to get better. but at this point i think its hopeless to even care... dad My mom gets home around 7 or 8 so weekends suck when I have to stay home all day with my dad and my brothers. School has always been like a vacation to me, gets me away from everything and everyone in the house. My mom understands everything, how i feel and why i feel it but she doesn't do anything because she "loves him".I love him too but he's not going to get better. He has been in jail 5 times since i was born and he has been in rehab 3 times. yes he went to rehab, but he didn't do that for himself or for us.. he did it because the judge told him if he didn't go to rehab he would have to spend more time in jail.... he did it for himself. He was clean for a little bit but that's only because he is on probation and he was getting piss tested every week. He is still on probation but he doesn't get tested as much anymore so he is doing more drugs.The judge also told him if he got caught again he would have to go to prison for 30 years, and he is using again. So as i said he obviously doesn't care about his family so why should we care? His idiot probation officer tells him before she shows up to test him so he knows when he has to stop using so he doesn't get caught.Those are the worse days. he gets even more pissy and he hits harder. mom I understand she loves him so do the rest of us but i guess she isan't realizing he isant supporting this family she is he isan't caring for this family all he does is show us that he does't care.He doesn't treat us like his family he treats us all like shit. I am here for my mom whenever she needs me just as she is for me, we talk about what needs to be done but she never puts her foot down.My brother showed her the bruise dad left on his ass last night and she was sympathetic about it but she didn't say anything to dad about it because she is afraid of him. I feel so bad for her , she feels like if she leaves dad she is hurting us, that leaving him will hurt this family. She doesn't get that him leaving will be better for all of us. She won't be scared anymore and i wont have to use a pound of make up a day to cover the bruises he leaves on my face. My brothers wont end up just like him, wont end up as abusive husbands and fathers, wont end up in jail for drugs. She doesn't get he drags us down and him leaving will be the best for all of us. him <3 I have known Rj since 3rd grade ... we "dated" in elementary school.It wasn't really a relationship i guess i mean i really liked him and all but we never hung out we never kissed we just acted like best friends. He was in 5th grade and i was in 4th when we "dated". We broke up ... He was going to lake weir middle and i was supposed to go to , but i was gonna stay with someone else and go to fort MCcoy. I always told myself that's why we broke up so it wouldn't hurt as much. Well for 6th grade i ended up going to lake weir too. We dated again but it didn't last long, i was different back then shy i guess.. we never really talked. I still liked him then i regreted being so shy cause maybe if i wasn't i would have still had him. Well both of us now go to lake weir high school and April 23 , 2012 we started dating again<3 we have been going for 2 months now and i pray to god everyday he lets us stay together... I don't know what i'd do if ilost him. Just as Rosie and crystal to he keeps me sane, he is always there for me when i need him and he makes me feel wanted and special in a way no one else can. I love him with all my heart... he makes me forget about whats going to happen when i get home... and he calls himself a father ? I went to my aunts house last night , he told me i had to be home at 1 ... so i came home at 12:30 so hopefully i wouldn't get yelled at ya know ? well i come home and see MY DAD'S dog is out in the yard stringing trash... so i put him on the chain and i clean up the mess. If i didn't i would have gotten grounded. I get done cleaning up after the dog and i knock on the door because its locked ... ya know i should have to bring my key absolutely everywhere because my dad don't work and he don't have a license so where the hell should he be at 12 in the afternoon ?!? Well i'm banging on the door and no body is answering , So i walk over to my grandmas house i grab the phone and call my dads cell phone .. of course he doesn't answer so i call the house phone thinking maybe i didn't knock loud enough. Nobody answered that either. So I explained what's happened so far , then finally dad calls back i answer the phone and was like " hello "... " hello?!" .... and he was like " hi " he sounded stoned as fuck , so i tell him i'm at my grandmas because him and the boys are gone. Well turns out he left my 7 year old brother at home alone for only god knows how long while he went and did whatever the hell he did... i call my mom and she is flipping out , she called him 7 times and he never answered. My grandma called him and he said he was home , she came over to my house and we searched the house and he damn sure wasn't there. Well he finally walks through the door fucking yelling and screaming at me telling me that the door was unlocked and he was home and a bunch of bull shit. The door was only unlocked because Tyler opened it for me after i banged on it 20 times because he was sleeping! Im so over him he needs to go smoke a damn blunt and get caught ! Publication Date: July 2nd 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-caitlynnemily

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-emma-miller-the-new-start/

Emma Miller The New Start Tell me what you think about my book in the comments or add to your fav's if you like it! To everyone in my life. Especially Izzy and Chris my special friends. And all the couples. Also to Madpenguin16 my best friend! Chapter One: The Yelling, Screaming, and Ranting! “But Mom please, I don’t see why I have to go!” I pleaded. “Layla, I already told you. If we’re moving, we’re all moving.” My mom said sternly. “But Mom!” I yelled. "No end of discussion young lady start packing we're leaving tomorrow morning." Great just great........And all of this is because of my mother and my brother. Just because Aiden got a excepted into the school of my moms dreams. And now we're moving there so it won’t cost as much. You know the residence thing. Why can’t he move there himself. I’m fine with all the colleges here in Chicago. I’ll have to go to a new school and be the ‘new girl’. I was looking forward to this school year with my besties too. I love my neighbor Mrs. Giblons, what will my other neighbors be like? Why can’t I just stay here and be the Layla I want to be! Oh no I totally forgot about Ivory and Willow what will they say!? I can imagine the conversation now and it is not a good one. It would be somewhere along the lines of “You can’t leave us Lay!”and I would say “I’m sorry my mom just won’t budge.” “Let us talk to Claire, Lay.” (Claire is my mom) But even with that she won’t budge. I decided to walk to Ivory’s house after dinner since Willow was sleeping over there tonight. Mrs. Horowitz let me in and I went straight to Ivory’s room. Once I get in they both scream “Lay!” "Hey guys." "Lay what aren't you telling us?" They say in union. They have like this sixth sense so they know when I'm not telling them something. I have no choice but to tell them. "Guys you know I love you and will be your friend forever and." I couldn't finish what I was saying before Willow cut me off and said "Just spit it out Lay, you know you can tell us anything." "Of course I know I can tell you anything it's just......we're....well I.....I'm moving!" "What! You said you could talk your mom out of it!" Ivory screamed. Okay so not the reaction I thought....well I guess it was the denial. "I know what I said but she won't budge I guess since it's like three thousand miles its a no, but you know we can video chat and call each other every day!?" "But Lay it's not the same thing who will go to school with us and stick up for us and talk about guys with us and!" "Willow! Stop with the rant we can video chat with our phones before school, during lunnh, free period, and after school!" "She's got a point Willow." Ivory points out. "Thanks Iv's how would I stop Willow's rants without you." "I'm sorry Lay it's just we're like three peas in a pod, the three musketeers....I'm just gonna miss you!" "Awww Will I'll miss you and Iv's all the time too but I can't just go against my mom and run away until she leaves, because she won't leave until I'm found, and you know that!" Great now I'm the one ranting! Dang now it's time to go home and I won't see my friends unless I get up real early, but they probably won't want to get up that early so I can stay a little longer I guess. "So guys what were you doing before I came over?" "Nothing much just talking about the new kid at school." "Oh yeah I remember I saw him earlier today at school. Will you found out his name and tell me?" "Sure you know that we will do anything for you Lay!" Willow said. "I'm really going to miss you guys and all. I just wish we had more time." "Yeah we do to!" They said in union. We all have a weird coincidence of doing that. "I'm sorry guys I have to go I'll video chat you when we get to the new house and I'll take you on a tour once we get most of the boxes and things in. Okay?" I walked home since it was only a couple blocks from Ivory's house to my old home now I guess. Mom started freaking out as soon as I got in the door about "where was I". "Mom I'm fine I was just over a Ivory's house to tell her and Willow bye." "Well I didn't know that, and how was I supposed to know that you left your phone here!" My phone is an Iphone 5. I know I should be honored to have a phone like that but the down side, I had to buy it with my own money. Yeah but I was forced to by my friends because we have to video chat when we're apart and for once it's coming in handy since I'm moving. "Mom I have to go pack the rest of my stuff." I actually didn't want to pack but I didn't want to talk right now more so, packing is the way out. "Well okay honey. Don't stay up to late we have a big day tomorrow." "How could I forget. Tomorrow is the day we leave the place I spent my whole life." "I know you don't want to move honey but." "Mom it's fine just, leave it." And with that I was gone to my room. In my room I decided to do what I told my mom I was doing, pack.  Before starting to pack I put on one of my favorite songs. Ho  Hey by The Lumineers.I didn't want to because it meant it would finally look like we were moving and my mind didn't want to accept that. My greatest talent. One word: Denial. I know I should finally face the facts. Especially since I'm leaving tomorrow morning, but I really don't want want to move. To move away from my besties I've known since second grade or my crush that I've had a crush on since I can remember or the neighbors I've had forever. This is my town, my home town, my life, my home. I've known it forever and I'm leaving it. After 17 years I've grown attached to it. Now it's time to detach from this town and not get attached to another because there just places on a map. Even I didn't believe that. God why do I have to be so mushy all the time.By the time I was done hating myself I was done packing except the outfit I needed tomorrow and the other essentials. Time for bed. Text: It is my own text and ideas not stolen. Images: I do not own the cover image! Editing: Painislove, Madpenguin16, and millern072. All rights reserved. Publication Date: October 16th 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-qxc420691d98425

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-ravon-carter-my-one-and-only-love/

Ravon Carter My one and only love To all the people out there who's been abused and hurt by the people who should actually be loving them Part One: I'm outta here , suckers! As i'm doing my homework I hear arguing downstairs. I groan. "Will they ever shut up?" I ask myself, "Samantha! Get your ass down here and finish these dishes!" Bob , my foster dad orders. "Just a sec" I yell back and I turn back to the division problem i've been stuck on for the past 35 minutes. "Right now!" He shouts. "Hold on!" I snap. Downstairs I hear a loud smack. My foster mom Belle cries out "She thinks she can talk to me anyway she damn wants! You haven't taught her right!" He yells at her. "I'm sorry" I hear her say. ''Now tell her to bring her ass down here now before I drag her out" He orders. Her voice breaking she calls out "Samantha could .. you please come down" I let out a big sigh as I get up and I walk downstairs. Bob towers over me " Haven't we taught you to listen?" "I dont know , I cant seem to remember" I shoot back matching my glare with his. These past years i've been learning to fight back .. but it doesn't usually work. His fist shoots out , sending me flying across the couch. I stand up. "Now clean up them goddamn dishes! And dont be thinking your sleeping in that room tonight because you aint , you get the basement and no blanket either" I shrug my shoulders. Before I know it a slap stings my face "No dinner or breakfast either" He spits. I shrug my shoulders once again. He reaches out to slap me again but Belle jumps in the way. "Now dear , its a little early for that" She sends me a look , elling me to hurry up and wash the dishes. I scurry over to the sink before he can reach out and grab me and I begin washing the dishes as I always do. ''Samantha?" Belle calls out. I dont answer but I know she can hear my teeth chattering. Belle walks down the basement stairs , a candle in hand. "Leave me be" I say. She ignores me and sits down , pulling my head into her lap. I flinch. "Does it still hurt?" She asks refering to my cheek. I nod. "I'm sorry" she apologizes. I pull myself from under her hand "Why keep apologizing id it just keeps happening?" She doesn't answer. "Thats what I thought" I snap. She lets out a sigh and stands up. "I'm truly sorry" She whispers before getting up , taking her candle with her and walks up the stairs leaving me behind to suffer. Someone grabs me. I get ready to let out a scream but the hand covers my mouth. "Dont you dare" Bob warns. I decide not to scream. "Well then risen' shine , hurry up and get dressed so you can take your ass to school" I glare at him. "Dont you have something better to do other than tying to torture the hell outta me?" I ask , trying to keep my voice nice and sweet but I know her heard the snarl. "Dont you have something better to do than use your mouth?" He snaps. "Then why'd you teach me to use it?" I shoot back , satisfied with my choice of words. He suddenly grabs my long , blonde hair and he yanks my head back. I cry out in pain. I smirk at him. He reaches out to twist my arm but I yank my hand back. He chuckles like this is the funniest thing in the world. This man really thinks im playin'. I step on his foot. Hard. I thrust my elbow back , elbowing him in the stomach. He lets go and doubles over. I scramble away from him. "Your one lucky bitch , you better get youass to school before I kill you" He tells me. Bobs a big man of 6'2' and he definatly weighs alot. He has black hair and scary green eyes that has that crazy look in him. I race up the stairs because I truly believe that he could kill me. I stumble up every step. I quickly run up the other set of stairs that lead to my room . I run into my room and I close my door , locking it too. I'm out of breathe. "Samantha hurry up!" Belle yells. She is my ride to school so I cant miss that chance. I dig through a pile of clothes that i've already worn. I pull out a gray t-shirt with a huge coffee stain , in which Bod had threw a pot of coffee at me last week. I pull it on over my bleached tank top. I quickly pull out a pair of black skinny jeans with a spaghetti stain and a kool-aid stain .. dont ask. I throw those on and I rush to look for my comb or my brush , anything really. I look under my bed , in my drawer (although I already know its empty) and under my dirty , stained carpet. "Man where'd it go?" I ask myself. I look in my empty bathroom. A shower with no curtain and a broken mirror. "Found ya" I pull out my brush from the toilet , not caring if its wet I try to run it through my hair. I struggle with a huge knot. I yank harder and the brush snaps in half "Damnit!" I yell in frustration. Belle honks the horn from her car. " Coming!" I yell back. I toss the brush on the ground , avoiding going past Bob I climb out my windown and I slide down a medal pipe. Slightly hurting myself in the process. "Dont do that again" Belle says as I get into the passenger side of her car. I roll my eyes "Whatever" "Try to have a good day at school" Belle tells me as she pulls up to the front of the high school. "I'm not your daughter so stop trying to act like your my mother" I say instead of giving her a sweet smile she wishes i'd giver her. "I try ok .. well actually-" I put my hand up to stop her from continuing. "I dont care about what you have to say" I grab my bag from the backseat. I dont known why but I always leave it in here. "Dont get caught" I say. She stares at me blankly. I smirk at her. "I dont..I dont know what you mean" She stutters. I dont reply. I roll down my window , and I open the door from the outside. The door screeching loudly as I open it. The car isn't exactly perfect .. well what can you expect? I hop out "Nos vemos más tarde que el engaño zorra, vas a sacarnos tanto en problemas" I tell her as I turn and I start walking torwards the entrance. (See you later you cheating bitch , your gonna get us both in trouble). Belle pulls off with a questioning look on her face. I guess spanish class paid off. "Look who came to school" Ashley one of the PGSs (popular girls) steps infront of me. All her friends stand around waiting for something dramatic to happen. " If you dont mind class is about to start and I need to get to my locker" I explain. She flips her hair over her shouldet and pops her gum. "What is someone like you doing at my school?" She snaps. I laugh "If it were your school I wouldnt be here" A few of her friends laugh. In instinct of being embarrassed she throws out her hand to slap me but I grab her arm and I twist it behind her back. "Oh , shit" Someone says. Ashley screams " Get off me you freak! You'll give me a disease!" I let go. "Oops it was instinct" I flip my hair over my shoulder , mimicking her and I walk away hearing laughter behind me "That bitch sure told you" someone comments . They continue to laugh. I make my way inside the building. I sigh. "Could this day get any worse?" "Loser!" A boy yells and then he throws a yogurt at me. I wipe some of the yogurt off my face , while some of the yogurt had made a stain on my already stained shirt. Everyone points and laughs at me. I shrug my shoulders and I continue to walk down the hall. Then everyone starts throwing rolled up balls of paper at me. I stop walking. They keep throwing paper at me. "What the hell do you want from me?!" I scream. Everyone goes silent but the throwing of paper continues. I cant stand it any longer. I grab the nearest persons water bottle and I walk over to the boy who had thrown yogurt at me. "You tested me way to damn far!" I spray the water all over his designer clothes , not caring if the water got into his brand new designer watch. To top it off I spit on his brand new shoes , which still has the tag on them. "Your so damn lucky that wasn't kool-aid or milk .. or maybe even coffee , now I dare you to throw more yogurt at me" I glare at him. His mouth hangs open. "Ms Punish , step into my office" The principal says. I groan. My name is pronounced (Pue-nish) but my classmates love to call me Ms Punish. Now do you see what I go through everyday? I follow him into his office and he closes the door. "Take a seat" "I'm good" I reply. "I'm not asking you i'm telling you" I let out a big dramatic sigh as I plop down into one of his hard gray chairs. He sits across from me. He clears his throat "Now we're going to have this conversation once more" I sit back because I know i'm going to be in here forever. When I leave his office its lunch time , literally lunch time. He had went over a 1,000 rules in the rulebook that I had already broken and my punishment is going to detention for a whole month and saturday school for two months! What kinda bullshit is that? I walk into the cafeteria , already hearing arguments about whos sitting where or arguments over which one of them has the most expensive boots or lip gloss. I roll my eyes. Theres the Jocks table , Cheerleaders , Nerds , mentily ill , and so on. Guess which categorie I fall into. None , Nada , rien. I dont have any friends so I usually sit near the kitchen with the lunch ladies. Even the geeks dont talk to me because I "attract" too much attention to myself. But they just dont understand ... I sit next to Barbara , the one who serves dessert. She glances at me "Tough day?" "Everyday" I reply. Barbara leans back "Tell me about it" "Whats the special today?" I ask. She smiles "We made it just for you" She pulls out a paper bag and pulls out the following: A ham and cheddar sandwich , pomegranate seeds , root beer , and a slice of red velvet cake. "Yum!" I smile. "You should smile often , with those pretty light brown eyes and that smile" She shakes her head "All the guys should be after you" The lunch lady who serves the meatloaf and so on , who everyone thinks is mean walks over. "I agree with her" She kisses me on the forehead. They're the closest to a mom that i'll ever have. I smile again. "There it is!" Mary pinches my cheeks. "Enjoy your lunch" "You know I will" I reply before she walks off. " I guess i'd better get to work" Barbara says. "Alright , and thanks .. for everything" "No need to thank me. I should be thanking you. She smiles. "See you tomorrow then?" Barbara nods. As the bell rings for dismissal I groan , not wanting to get up from my desk to go home. MY "Phone" rings, Its one of those phones where it has 3 numbers programmed into it. Bobs , Belles , and 911. The name of the product is "Smiley lady bug just for kids!" and yes it has creepy smiling lady bugs painted all over it. I answer. "I'm outside , hurry up!" Belle says quickly. "Fine" I hang up. I wonder if Bob has found out shes cheating on him will a collegue. I grab my bag and I leave the classroom. We sit at the dinner table eating "Dinner" in an akward silence. We each have a small scoop of corn and once chicken drumstick , which has mold on it. I stare at the mold. "Goddamnit! Just scrape the mold off if you want to be picky about it" Bob says. "I'm not hungry" I say , and I start to stand. Bob yanks me back down "Your not leaving until you eat your dinner" I scowl at him "No I wont eat it so dont try to make me" He had grabbed a knife and aimlessley aimed it at my body , slicing a small part of my stomach. "You ungrateful bitch! I dont know why you're acting like this but we've raised you from the age of 4 to 16 and you are by far the worse out of all the children we've raised!" He screams , spit flying into my face. I whimper. Belle grabs a towel and holds it onto the long gash. Soon enough the towel changes from white to red from so much blood. "Hold that" she places my hand over the towel and she leaves and returns with a medical kit. She removes the towel and dabs at my wound with alchohol and peroxide. I bite my lip to keep from crying out. The blood had slowed down , not even to a trickle. Thankfully. Belle turns to Bob "Are you crazy?!" she screams "Want me to stab you too?" he glares at her making her break eye contact. She shuts up real quick. "Thats what I thought" "Samantha your excused" Belle tells me. Bob stares at her , I stare too , surprised and all. "Well hurry the hell up!" she orders. I slowly get up from the table. Bob doesn't move at all. I moan in pain. "I'll excuse myself too" she gets up from the table and helps me up the stairs. When we make it to my door she turns to walk away. "Mom" she slowly turns around , tears in her blue eyes. Thats when I realize how beautiful she really is. I slowly walk over to her and I hug her , not caring about my pain. Why had I not realized she was suffering aswell as me? I hold her close , lightly stroking her long blonde hair with a few gray specks. "Mom" I repeat. She continues to cry and I continue to hold her. Tear start to well in my eyes but I quickly brush them away , hiding my emotions from .. everything including myself. I lay in bed thinking. I need to get the hell up outta her before he decides to actually kill me. I sigh , right when I was getting all cozy with Belle .. but its for my own good. I get up and I leave my room. I creep , quickly over to their room and I knock on the door. "What the hell do you want?" Bob barks. "Uh , I want to talk to Belle for a couple minutes" " then come back later!" He snaps. "I'll go and talk to her" Belle tells Bob. "We..we were in the middle of something" He replies. "Not anymore" Belle opens the door and stumbles out, her dress unbottoned down to her waist. Her make-up is smeared and her hair is messed up, , llike she was just in a fight. My heart suddenly drops. Belle runs a hand through her hair and wipes her face with the sleeve of her dress. I grab her arm and I pull her into my room "I've made a desicion" Belle fumbles with the buttons on her dress "What do you mean?" "I have to get away from here , I cant take it" I snap. Belle flinches at my sudden harshness. "I'm sorry mom" I say softly. "Well then you better get going  because i'm going to have to tell him that you're gone" she says , her voice small and sad. I quickly stuff a bag with a couple clothes , a toothbrush , and deoderant. Belle stares at me , like shes about to change her mind. "I'm gonna come back for you" I promise her. She gives me a small smile. I start past her and then she pulls me in for a hug. I follow her down the stairs and she unlocks the door. After the sun goes down they lock everything down , even my window is locked and it has an alarm. I guess thats what the'd decided to spend their money on. Belle reaches behind the Tv and pulls out a whole stack of cash and she thrusts it at me. "Go! While you still alive" She shoves me out the door. I run , not looking back. Not even once. Part two: The struggle After a mile or so I stop running. Everytime a car passes I jump into the nearest bush. Its completely dark outside and theres one street lamp on each block. I take in the fresh air. I had never been anywhere past school , so this is like heaven to me. I turn down Hueberry street , as the sign says and I contnue walking. My arms are musty and my hair is even more matted than before. My stomach is grumbling and theres bo store in sight. "Man my like is built on bad luck" I mutter to myself. A woman passes by with a child of maybe 3 and scowls at me. "Jesus , go take a shower" she says and speeds off , with her baby in tow. I yawn. I've walked about 5 or 6 miles , im heading torwards the bus station .. or I think I am. Thats when a dark shadow appears behind me. I ignore it and I keep walking. The shadow follows me. My heart starts to beat fast. "Hold it right there!" A deep voice orders. I freak out and I swing my bag around to hit his face. I let go of the bag as soon as it makes contact with his face and I run. I'm out of breathe when I stop running. My eyes start to burn. I'll never get that bag back. Luckily I had put the wad of cash in my pocket. I wipe my eyes and I smile to myself. "Hold it right there!" I think back to the words the man had said. I laugh. "What a cliché" I say aloud. I look around at my surroundings. "Yes!" I practically shout when I see a  small cafe at the corner of the street. I quickly walk over and I open the door. A small bell tingles as I closes behind me. People gawk at me. I sigh. I guess i'd be gawking too if I saw a terribly must girl with matted hair , dirty clothes , and red eyes from crying and not having enough sleep. A couple of people cover their noses while others are polite and they continue eating. I walk over to the black and white checkered counter. I quickly glance at the menu and then I turn to the short ladie with blonde pigtails , wearing a bright pink apron. "I would like-" she cuts me off "please exit the cafe" she says harshly. "Pardon me? I'm hungry and I haven't ate in what feels like days" I tell her. A teenage girl my age says "You haven't showered in days either" I roll my eyes when her friends laugh like idiots behind her. I turn back to the woman. She points to a sign and reads aloud "We have the right to not provide service to anyone" Angrily I spit on the counter and I turn to leave. Nearing the door I stop and I turn torwards the teenage girl "How about you try being abused by your foster dad , locked in a basement with no food or blankets , stabbed by your foster dad , and bullied at school and see how you end up" "Gee , sorry but my rich daddy loves me and I get whatever I want" she batts her fake eyelashes at me. He friends laugh. I pick up her strawberry shake and I dump it in her hair. She screams. "Tell your rich little daddy to get your hair color fixed" I snatch her bagel from her hand and I wipe the cream all over her face and with that I open the door and I leave , hearing the tingling sound of the bell still in my ears. I had walked around for a while but no cafe would let me buy food. What assholes. Because of my hunger my vision is a little off. I hadn't really cared when a man robbed and took the rest of my money. I slowly walk across the street , I hadn't seen it coming but out of nowhere a red sports car hits me. I roll down the windsheild and I hit the ground. I blink rapidly as if to make sure i'm alive and if this is even real. Theres a sharp pain in my leg and my heads killing me. I groan. A teenageboy jumps out the car , he rushes over to me "Shit..shit..shit" He runs a hand through his wavy brown hair. He pulls out his phone and starts to dial 911 , I panick. If I go to a hospital i'll be caught. Before he could put in the last 1 I click his home button "No hospital" I say weakly , not recognizing my own voice. "Are you crazy?" He stares at me with bright blue eyes , my heart flutters. What the hell...I sit all the way up. A few other cars had stopped. "Help me up will you?" I hold out my arm. He stares at my dirty arm and hands for a couple seconds before he slowly pulls me up. I lean against his car for balance. ''You need a doc-" I put my hand up to silence him "It never happended" I tell him and I turn. He softly grabs my arm , I make eye contact with him. "It never happened" I repeat , prying his hand off my arm and I limp away. He stares after me but I dont look back , I just keep limping , looking for a place to rest. "My life is seriously built on bad luck , no lie" I mutter before turning down an alley to rest.  I had a dream about the boy with bown hair and blue eyes , but I wake up as if it was a nightmare. I look around the alley. I let out a lond dramatic sigh. My leh hurts like hello. I feel as if my head is screaming at me "Doctor.Doctor.Doctor!" I clutch my leg in pain "Damn that car!" I hold onto the dumpster beside me and I help myself up. Hopefully if I rest a little more , it wont hurt as much. "Yea , right" my mind tells me. I limp over to a wall and I honl onto the wall as I leave the alley. The sun stares back at me as I enter civilization again. People stare at me "well thats not new" I mutter. I contine , but then I spot another cafe. Well I guess i'll ask someone the easy way. I limp over to a table infront of the cafe and I quickly sit across a man probably in his mid thirties. He looks up from his newspaper. I give him a nice smile and her nervously smiles back. "Excuse me sir but I need to know where the bus station is" He thinks for a moment as if whether to tell me or not. "Its a mile that way" he points to a road to his right. "Thanks you ... but do I look crazy to you?" sorry .. I had to ask. He clears his throat "a little" I frown. "Sir! your croissant is ready!" a girl calls from inside. He gets up "excuse me" and he disappears inside the cafe. I start to get up , but then I notice he had left his wallet. I quickly open it. Damn he's rich! 100 dollar bills are exploding from the pouches inside the wallet. I snatch out 200$ .. not to be greed. I put it back , I get up and I limp the direction he had pointed to. "One ticket to GoldStone City" I tell the person inside the booth. The man glances at me. I clear my throat. "That would be 200$" he says. God is on my side! I push the money through the little window and he exchanges it with a ticket. "Thanks" I go and I sit on one if the comfortable black chairs. "Arrives 12:00" I read. I look around the station for a clock. An old woman taps on my shoulder. I turn around "Its 11:45" she tells me. I smile in reply and then I turn back around. GoldStone City is 3 towns away , which is about 15 hours away from here. Sadly I dont have anything to entertain myself with. I sit all the way back in my chair. GoldStone is actually a very rich city and its huge! I only know about it because they always write about it in the newspaper Bob always left on the kitchen counter. I look at myself .. "I'm not even fit to be in a city like that". A big blue bus pulls up to the curb "Goldstone city!" the driver yells. I get up and I limp over to the bus. Others stand by and wait for me to get on the bus. I hand the driver my ticket. He barely even looks at it before he waves me onto the bus. Thats was too easy. I limp to the back of the bus and I sit down. God , what do you have in store for me now? While others pile onto the bus , I fall asleep Part three: Coincidence? Yea right  "We've arrives in GoldStone city , everyone please exit the bus" the bus driver announces. I blink. "I was asleep for 15 hours?" I ask myself. A man next to me answers "To be precise only 14" I stretch my arms out. He wrinkles his nose because of the smell "Oops sorry , I haven't .." wait why the hell do I need to explain to you? He gets up and grabs his small suitcase. I wave "It was nice talking to you sir!" he exits the bus. I grunt as I get up. I quickly thank the driver and I step off the bus. I wonder around for a few hours. By the time I sit down to rest the sun is just coming out. I am sitting in a neigborhood park. From everything i've seen , this town is beautiful. I interrupt a teen couple  , making out ehind a tree. They flinch when they see me .. typical rich kids. "What ... time is it?" I ask , my throat feeling terribly dry. The boy picks up his Iphone. Lucky. "7:30" he replies. I laugh. They exchange glances. "You must'be snuck out" they laugh nervously "of course not" they say at the same time. I glare at them .. "ok .. we did" they say. I laugh again "well its not my problem". I turn and I walk away. I guess i'd walked longer than I thought , my stomach grumbles. I had kinda forgot about my hunger. I haven't eaten or dranken anything in 2 days .. well I actually did have a couple scraps though. I start to the laugh to myself but my laugh starts to sound like a strangled goat. I trip over a rock snd suddenly my leg starts to hurt again. Everything starts to feel so real. My eyes start to tear up "I cant cry now" I quickly wipe my eyes. God , give me a sigh .. please. Then a few feet ahead of me stands a water fountain. I limp over to the fountain and I drop to my knees and I hug it. "Weirdo" someone passing by says. I come to my senses and I drink some. I moan. Its nice and cool , the best water i've ever tasted. I drink so much but then .. some of the water comes back up and I throw up. "Food" I mumble. I slowly stand up all the way ans I turn down a street and I limp/walk down the street. Every house I pass , the next gets bigger. By now every one of the houses are mansions , I gawk. I start pass a huge white house. A woman comes out on a phone "He went to a party last night .. I dont know if there was drinking! I'll just leave a spare key under the mat incase he lost his .. alright love you honey" she hangs up and places a key under their welcome home mat. Perfect! I duck under a bush when she pulls out of her drive-way in a nice black BMW. As soon as shes out of sight I casually walk over to their day , a slight limp in my step and I stick my hand under the mat. I quickly grab the key. My hands shaking nervously , I unlock the door and I step in. I close the door and I put the keys on the counter. Just a few minutes ... A humongous chandelier hangs above me. I gasph. I look around the house oohing and ahhing at every little thing. Then I stop .. what if they have cameras? I look around but I dont happen to find any. Food .. right .. food. I look around for the kitchen , I walk up the stairs and their it is , the kitchen. I stare at the glass cabinets and dishes , trimmed with gold. After a few minutes of staring I hurry and I open the refridgerator. Nothing. "Do rich people not have leftovers?" I ask myslef. I turn around and on the counter theres a dish with an egg omelet , some bacon strips , and some waffles. I could feel my lips water , just looking at them. I wipe my mouth ''well I wont be coming back here anyway" I look in one of the drawers and I get a fork. I lick my lips as I dig in. I burp nice and loud as I finish it off. Whoever made that can cook! I cut on the faucet and I cup my hands underneath and I drink. I turn towards the stairs , maybe .. i'll look around for a bit .. Just 5 minutes I promise myself. I walk over to the first room but its locked. I try the others , unlocked! I carefully explore each room and then I quietly close the door. I go to the last room , closing the door behind me. I'm guessing its a boys room. A couple of posters of sports cover part of the wall. A queen sizd bed with a really nice blue blanket. I run my hand through the soft white carpet. I look in the bathroom , a huge tub is in the corner. It practically big enough for 3 people. A ahower cinnects to it too! Awesome!. The toilet has a nice soft covering , i've never had one. They're way to rich for me. I leave the bathroom and I return to the room. I open the closet. "Woah!" I shout , I quickly cover my mouth with my hand. I pick up the remote "whats this do?" I click a button and the clothes rack moves aside and another set of clothes appear. They're filthy rich! A car suddenly pulls up to the drive-way. I freeze. I hear the person get out the car and enter the house. I quietly put the remote back and I close the closet door. I get on my knees and I roll underneath the bed. I listen to the footsteps. They stop infront of the room i'm in. No.No.No.The person turns the knob and enters the room "Man , I need to work on drinking 1 cup of beer instead of 4" a boy says. Its probably the boy that woman was talking about. I scoot over a little so that I can see him. My eyes widen. That guy who had hit me!He pulls off his shirt and tosses it onto his bed. A full six pack. Beautiful! He pulls out his Iphone and texts someone. Lucky! I had my "Phone" in that bag but now .. its gone. He sits on the bed and it sinks in , hitting me in the head "Ouch!" I yell before rubbing my head. He jumps off his bed "What the .." Bad mistake. I dont move. "Who the hell is under there? Come out before I call the police!" he orders. I sigh before rolling out from under his bed. "Holy shit" he stares at me. I stand up "remember me?" He blinks "your that one girl who I had hit" he replies. "The point goes to you" I say joking. "What the hell are you doing in my house , thats was 3 towns away .. who are you?"  I mutter. "what was that?" he smirks. "So do you really drink beer?" I ask , avoiding his question. "I shouldn't even be talking to you , I want you out" I give him my puppy dog eyes. "Thats not going to work" he says. "Jerk" I mutter. He peers at me closer "but .. to answer your question , yea I do. Just as long as mom and dad doesn't find out'' He says "Ir I tried .. no if I even talked about beer i'd-" I stop myself from continuing. Thankfully he doesnt push me to continue. We stand there akwardly until I say "Do you have a shirt I can have?" "sure , but take a bath first you stink" he says. "Gee thanks" I hiss. He hands me a towel. I soften my voice "Seriously , thanks" he gives me one of his cute smiles "No problem" I blush "Jerk , you did that on purpose" He laughs. I go into the bathroom and I fill the tub up. I undress and I slide into the tub "Ahh , so warm" I whisper. I scrub myself , making sure I get all the dirt off. I grab the nearest shampoo bottle and I start to wash my hair. Then he knocks "Come in" I call out. He comes in , trying not to look. I dont even bother trying to cover myself up. I wonder what he must be thinking about a stranger in his bathroom. Publication Date: March 7th 2014 https://www.bookrix.com/-laadf4a707d7c25

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-serena-reana-the-beauty-and-the-beast/

Serena Reana The Beauty and the Beast Coming back to Cali..and Regina Hgh Serena walked into her new school... Kirk-wood High. "Great..this is gonna be a damn blast!" she mumbled as she went into the front office. "You must be Serena Reana! Hello I'm Mrs. Barber." She gave a warm welcoming smile. Serena smiled back...but it was fake, "Yeah, that's me. um...can i get my schedule?" Mrs. Barber handed her schedule and Serena left adn went to her locker but along the way some cheerleaders looked at her funny and started to mumble to each other. "Look at her hair." one of the girls said, "Look at the way she's dressed..complete fashion disaster!" the other said. "Shes a freak!" All three of them walk off laffing. Celeb one of Serena's friends walk over "Hey! Long time no see!" Serena was putting her stuff in her locker and looked up, "Omg! Hey C-bear! Yeah have you grown since last time I've seen you?" They both laff. "No, yeah We've missed you." Celeb hugged her. "'We'? the gangs here??" Serena asked curiously,but before Celeb got to answer the bell for homeroom rings and he and Serena walk to homeroom together laffing about what happened last summer. "Okay, looks like we have a new student who will be joining us this year," Mr. Kasigi announced "Serena why don't u come up here adn introduce self." "Um..okay?" She goes up adn stands there, " I'm Serena...um I guess you could say I'm pretty weird.." Laughter roams through the room. Serena gets done and goes and takes her seat adn chats with Celeb, Jesse and Kahel. "Serena! Your staying for good right?" "Yeah! I wouldn't know what I would do if I moved again..I think I'd freak out." "Yeah I know you would Cause you would miss me.." Kahel snickered. ~~~Skipping to P.E~~~ "Jog for ten minutes!" Mr. Bell Yelled as everyone began to jog. Serena started to job...after ten minutes they had free gym..she grabbed a volleyball but the three girls walked over to her. "Can I help you three?" She asked, "Yeah...why don't you go back to freak-ville or where ever the hell you came from!" "Yeah..obviously your not wanted here" "You can't help but cry now can you?" They taunt her Serena hates this and glared "Let me explain something to each adn everyone of you..I don't know who you think you are..but you don't know me and don't want to know me..so back the fuck up and get the fuck out of my face..and while I'm here I'm going to scare you so good that you won't even be able to sleep at night. You got me? I swear I will Make your lives a living hell!" The Three girls look at her in shock because no one's ever spoke to them like that and they just walk away. Celeb saw what happened and walked over. "Hey, they didn't cause any trouble for you did they?" "No....but I'm going to cause trouble for them...I mean..really pick on someone...they don't even know..and they call me a freak" Serena shook her head as Celeb went back and played Basketball with his friends and Jesse walked over to her. "Hey..you look like you just told off Britney, Stacy and Emma...what did they do?" Serena sighed, "They tried to scare me....like they really could." ~~~Skipping to the end of the day~~~ So..After 8th. period Serena gets into her car and drives home. She walks in the door sets her stuff down on the couch "I'm Home!!" She shouted to her parents.. "Great, How was your day sweaty?" Her mom asked. "It was okay..I guess. I saw my friends! They were happy to see me. Are we going to move again?" Serena asked curiously. "No, Not anytime soon" Her dad answered The strange but awkward encounter Serena gets up..gets dressed in this :www.polyvore.com/the..bad_girl_skool/set?.svc=faceboo... She goes down stairs gets something to eat grabs her car keys and her backpack. "I'm Leaving!" She yells as she goes out of the door. ~~At school~~ She makes it to her first period, Family Consumer Science, she sees wheres one seat next to a by with blue spiky hair She hesitates to walk over but shook it off and slowly walks over. "Hey, mind if i sit here?" Grimmjows P.O.V I turn my head and see a girl with dark brown hair with random colors in it. "Hey, mind if i sit here?" She asked. "Yeah, go ahead." "Thanks" she smiled at me...her smile was the prettiest thing I've ever seen. "I'm Grimmjow, I've never seen you around here before." "Yeah...I'm new here...I'm Serena" "Oh..kool...How you like it so far?" She shrugged then said "It's okay i guess..." During first period I've got to know more about Serena. She seems Like a pretty kool girl. Normal P.O.V So Serena and Grimmjow decide to hang out at lunch and after school. "Yeah, where are we gonna go?" "Doesn't really matter...I guess the mall..We should go see a movie.." Grimmjow suggested. "Yeah. that would be like awesome." They Swap numbers..and Serena gathers her things and heads off to her alternate Study Hall. She was staring at the floor smiling slightly, 'He's pretty cute...I mean....not...cute..he's Hot!" Britney saw her adn pushed her into a locker "Watch where your going, bitch!" Serena glared but continued to walk and saw Kahel and sat buy him. "Hey how's it goin'?" "Pretty good, whoa..you look like your getting ready to get detention and kick someones ass." Serena smiled "Yeah...I know right?" She said as she started her Algebra homework. "Your in Algebra? Your such a nerd!" Serena took out her random Hipster glasses and snickered "Don't hate..cause your haterz jacket is to small C-bear" "I aint hatein' I'm just sayin'" "And You love me cause you say imma hater!" The bell for 4th. period or First lunch rings Serena heads off to lunch and smiled as she saw a bunch of people but her smile diapered as she saw Britney, Stacy and Emma. "Oh look who it is...its the three ugly bitches..hope your ugliness doesn't spread!" she laffed as she walked over to Jesse,Celeb, Grimmjow Stacy, Britney, Emma: NO ONE TALKS TO US LIKE THAT!! Serena turned and looked at them "well guess what..I just did ..and what are you three preppy bitches gonna do about it? Nothing..cause your gonna cry if you break a nail..." Grimmjows P.O.V I sat there and Serena just stood her ground against the schools bitchiest people...She is just so amazing Stacy, Emma and Britney walk over and start yelling at Serena..I go to stand up but Jesse pulled me back down. Emma slapped Serena. Serena decked her. Oh shit..a fight breaks out. Normal P.O.V Kids are chanting 'Fight, fight, fight!' "Look..if you want to fucking live..if I were you I'd stay the hell away from me. Serena bitched slapped Emma then added, "Fuck with me and you might not see daylight...ever again." Emma lays there with a bloody nose as Serena is being walked to the office. "Do you realize how much trouble your going to be in, young lady? It may be your second day here bout doesn't give you the right to deck someone in there face!" Mrs. Hung yelled, Serena shrugged and stated "She hit me first! What do you expect me to do? just let that bitch slap me for no good reason? No if she hits me there will be no damn consequences...I will fight back..so you can call my parents..it's not like there gonna say anything but wut I just said!" Serena said sitting there "I will not stand for this! You will not use that language with me! Do you understand me?" Serena stood up and got ready to leave "And just where do you think your going?" "I'm leaving" "No your not, come here and sit down!" "Oh yeah? Watch me." Serena got up adn slammed the door behind her adn went to class like nothing happened. You say you didn't do anything. I don't believe you Serena gets up..gets dressed in this :www.polyvore.com/the..bad_girl_skool/set?.svc=faceboo... She goes down stairs gets something to eat grabs her car keys and her backpack. "I'm Leaving!" She yells as she goes out of the door. ~~At school~~ She makes it to her first period, Family Consumer Science, she sees wheres one seat next to a by with blue spiky hair She hesitates to walk over but shook it off and slowly walks over. "Hey, mind if i sit here?" Grimmjows P.O.V I turn my head and see a girl with dark brown hair with random colors in it. "Hey, mind if i sit here?" She asked. "Yeah, go ahead." "Thanks" she smiled at me...her smile was the prettiest thing I've ever seen. "I'm Grimmjow, I've never seen you around here before." "Yeah...I'm new here...I'm Serena" "Oh..kool...How you like it so far?" She shrugged then said "It's okay i guess..." During first period I've got to know more about Serena. She seems Like a pretty kool girl. Normal P.O.V So Serena and Grimmjow decide to hang out at lunch and after school. "Yeah, where are we gonna go?" "Doesn't really matter...I guess the mall..We should go see a movie.." Grimmjow suggested. "Yeah. that would be like awesome." They Swap numbers..and Serena gathers her things and heads off to her alternate Study Hall. She was staring at the floor smiling slightly, 'He's pretty cute...I mean....not...cute..he's Hot!" Britney saw her adn pushed her into a locker "Watch where your going, bitch!" Serena glared but continued to walk and saw Kahel and sat buy him. "Hey how's it goin'?" "Pretty good, whoa..you look like your getting ready to get detention and kick someones ass." Serena smiled "Yeah...I know right?" She said as she started her Algebra homework. "Your in Algebra? Your such a nerd!" Serena took out her random Hipster glasses and snickered "Don't hate..cause your haterz jacket is to small C-bear" "I aint hatein' I'm just sayin'" "And You love me cause you say imma hater!" The bell for 4th. period or First lunch rings Serena heads off to lunch and smiled as she saw a bunch of people but her smile diapered as she saw Britney, Stacy and Emma. "Oh look who it is...its the three ugly bitches..hope your ugliness doesn't spread!" she laffed as she walked over to Jesse,Celeb, Grimmjow The three girls lok at each other. and yell at her, "NO ONE TALKS TO US LIKE THAT!!" Serena turned and looked at them "well guess what..I just did ..and what are you three preppy bitches gonna do about it? Nothing..cause your gonna cry if you break a nail..." Grimmjows P.O.V I sat there and Serena just stood her ground against the schools bitchiest people...She is just so amazing Stacy, Emma and Britney walk over and start yelling at Serena..I go to stand up but Jesse pulled me back down. Emma slapped Serena. Serena decked her. Oh shit..a fight breaks out. Normal P.O.V Kids are chanting 'Fight, fight, fight!' "Look..if you want to fucking live..if I were you I'd stay the hell away from me. Serena bitched slapped Emma then added, "Fuck with me and you might not see daylight...ever again." Emma lays there with a bloody nose as Serena is being walked to the office. "Do you realize how much trouble your going to be in, young lady? It may be your second day here bout doesn't give you the right to deck someone in there face!" Mrs. Hung yelled, Serena shrugged and stated "She hit me first! What do you expect me to do? just let that bitch slap me for no good reason? No if she hits me there will be no damn consequences...I will fight back..so you can call my parents..it's not like there gonna say anything but wut I just said!" Serena said sitting there "I will not stand for this! You will not use that language with me! Do you understand me?" Serena stood up and got ready to leave "And just where do you think your going?" "I'm leaving" "No your not, come here and sit down!" "Oh yeah? Watch me." Serena got up adn slammed the door behind her adn went to class like nothing happened. I'm Sorry? Apollogie..is: ...... Grimmjows P.O.V I walk into school toward my locker set my books in and see Serena at her locker and walk over. "Hey Serena.." She pulled her hoodie sleeve down and turned to me with a slight glare and said "What do you want? You here to yell at me sum more? Cuz if you are...let me say this...," She paused but continued "My brother just died last night...in Iraq...so I'm in no good shape to be yelled at....and on top of that I'm stressed out..." She rubbed her arm and shut her locked and slowly walked away.. "...Im sorry.." I said and reached for her sleeve, She turned and when i grabbed he sleeve I was shocked to see closed up scars more than just one... 'She....why would she do something like that to herself??' I thought as I pull her to somewhere more private..and there's less people. Serenas P.O.V I stand at my locker; putting stuff in it and remembered what I've heard last night and Grimmjow walked over to me. "Hey Serena.."Is what he said so i turn to him with a slight glare...and told him off...but not in a mean-bitchy way. I start to walk away but he gabbed my sleeve and It raises up a bit and he pulled me somewhere more private and with less people. "Why? Why did you do this? you could have killed yourself!" He says in a whisper-yell, I look at the floor cause I knew this whole 'You could have killed yourself! Is that what you really want?' talk was coming "What did you expect..first you yell at me for no apparent reason...then I get told that my brother won't be coming home...cause he's been shot in 3 different places!..and on top of that...I have three bitches who hate me for no good damn reason...I can only take so much...until I honestly can't take it" I sigh and wait for him to reply "That doesn't mean you have to end your life because of whats going on...your not the only one who has problems...I have problems...people have problems everyone..the world has problems..but killing your self isn't going to solve it. Only you can." He says...I already know...but...sometimes I can't deal with them...so either I cut myself or I just do..absolutely nothing....but sit there blaming myself. "I already know that...how many people do you think have already told me that? Yes. obviously the world is at war....people die everyday..kids in Africa are dying from hunger...and your telling me dying won't solve anything...yeah...it will." I sat staring at the floor. "No....it doesn't and yes i am telling you dying won't help..and I bet many people have told you that...but do you think your brother would be happy with you watching you die? No..not in hell he wouldn't be...so I'm going to say this once...I'm not going to let you die..you won't die before me...not even after I'm gone..you understand me?" He says..I don't say anything.. "Do you understand me Serena Slivina Reana?" He says again. "Yeah....wait..who told you my full name?!" I say staring into his blue eyes...hoping he would answer me. "Jesse..." I look at him and say I will see him later in P.E. I go to my locker staring at the floor as i get out my stuff for my 1st, 2nd, and 3rd period classes. I close my locker and walk to home room but Celeb comes and puts his arm around my waist and talked to me but after a few minutes he goes to his locker and I walk into home room. Grimmjows P.O.V Serena says she will see me later, and goes to her locker gets her stuff and goes to homeroom I see Celeb...her friend walk and put is arm around her waist I slightly glared at him but didn't care I walked to my locker and see a not that says 'Meet me by the storage closet rite after skool-Brit-brit' I give a low growl and threw the note into the trash as I grabed my books...went off to Homeroom. ~~after skool~~ Stil Grimmjows P.O.V I tell Serena that I will meet her near the Lake later...I lie and say "I got detention...so yeah see you at 6:30ish?" She nodds and goes to get into her car along with Jesse and some other people and she drives outa the parking lot. I go to the Storage closet and walk in but to find its dark I hear the door lock and leaned on a wall. Oh bloody hell Grimmjows P.O.V (again) (just to say some content may offend...) I tell Serena that I will meet her near the lake closer to my house, she nods and I wait for her car to leave the lot it does...I act as if I'm going to the office but I don't i head to the Storage closet...'Why did I even come to see what that slut wants? Might as well go..cause I don't want Serena to be all pissed at me....again...' I walk into the closet and I sit on a create as the door locks.. "I'm glad You came...Grimmjow." She says in my ear which sent a chill down my spine. "Why the hell am I even here? and What do you want?" I say annoyed. Britney sits on my lap I could see a slight smile on her face and she says "Just to have a talk with you...or maybe just you." "Sorry Britney but I don't li-" I was cut off because she kissed me I go to get up but she pined me..well tied me to a chair that you would see in a dentist office. "What the hell are you doing?! untie me!" I yell. Britney's P.O.V Grimmjow comes in..and asked why was he here and what did I want. Men...if I asked him to come to a private place..then shouldn't he have known. I don't tell him what I intend to get..I'll tell him later..maybe after I give "it" to him wink..wink nudge nudge..get the hint? I tie him down to a chair so he's completely venerable. "No..." I say I get on top of him and start kissing and sucking also biting his neck..he moves slightly and then says "Britney! S-s-stop!" I smirk against his neck. "Whats wrong? I thought you didn't like me that way? And You're all tied up..so how are you going to make me?" I continue to bite his neck and I open his shirt..hes really fit...Looks like Serena won't be his first. I trace patterns along his smexy abs I bite his neck a little bit to hard drawing blood and i lick his neck and trail my hand down to his pants. Grimmjows P.O.V. This slut is raping me...I feel something warm drizzle down my neck She gets to my pants. 'Oh shit!...dammit! how do I get out of this' I feel her grind against me. I can feel myself getting hard...She starts to give me...a BJ (me aka person writing this: BITCH BACK THE FUCK UP!! *takes out a shot gun* i will kill u! anyways onward with the story!) ~~~Serena's prove~~~ So after I just get out of the shower and i get dressed in this: www.polyvore.com/untitled_68/set?id=39510270 and walk to the lake where Grimmjow told me to meet him..but he wasn't there yet so I sit on a bench and hear someone call my name I turn to see Grimmjow in black skinny jeans a Tee shirt converse and his hair was spiky as usual. "Hey, G. You look nice." I say and smiled as we start to walk. "So do you, as always...Did you cut and dye your hair?" "Yeah, Your the first person who would actually say something about it" ~~Later that night~~ Grimmjow walked Serena home and she stands on the door step kind awkwardly. "So....um it's a nice night..isn't?" "Yeah..really nice and cool." After a while of talking Grimmjow takes Serena's chin and lifted to meet his gaze. Serena blushed and they lean in and their lips slowly meet. what? A swordfight? Serena...vs Emma Nobodies P.O.V at the moment! So Serena wakes up at 5:30 am..shocking isn't it? I mean who wakes up at 5 am? Wired right? She goes and takes a shower and gets dressed in this: www.polyvore.com/death_nine/set?id=38541080&lid=1... (the one with the name 'Serena" in red letters) she goes down stairs and walks outside and sees Grimmjow leaning on her car. "Hey Grimmjow.." She took out her I-phone and played a song as she looked at it to pay attention a to make sure she deleted all her messages except the one from grimmjow. "Hey,nice i-phone cover. Batman really?" He snickered and me and him walk somewhere but we see Emma...and I sigh. 'Great! look who we have here. Is..she carrying a..sword? wow really Bitch should no that this isn't some stupid old action movie!' I thought as she turned to see us. Emmas P.O.V I turned as one of my friends leave and see grimmjow adn Her! I walk over to them "Heyy Grimmy-poo!" She laffed and then said "'Grimmy-poo'? What the hell? who would give a guy that kinda nickname? Only you Emmy-kinz" She said as if she was talking to a new born puppy, I glared at her but turn back to Grimmjow. "What you gonna rape me again,huh Emma?" he asked as if he hated me. I rolled my eyes and went to kiss his cheek, but he pulled away and said "Back the hell off bitch!" She didn't say anything but she did step back a bit and leaned on a tree and said; "Whoa, she raped you?" she stood there with a 'What-the-fuck?' look on her face. I couldn't help but to grin. "I didn't rape him...but I do know he enjoyed what we did last night." Serena's P.O.V. "I didn't rape him...but I do know he enjoyed what we did last night." Emma said. I honestly could not believe what I was hearing..so I just wait a few moments to see what happens next. "Emma, you have to be out of your damn mind...to think I would lose my virginity to a slut like you" Grimmjow says.. I can help but snicker.Emma Glares at me then back at grimmjow. "Ohh..hit a nerve? Did he? well hate to tell you but...U just go rejected...in the..nicest way of rejecting someone." "I WILL KILL YOU!" She lunges at me..I move so she hits a tree..I end up near my car and find a sword in the trunk and she runs and me i move again and she scratches my car door "AH! MY CAR!..YOU BITCH!!" She just smirked as i came at her and she stood there as i stood right behind her with a bloody blade...at my side i couldn't help but to smirk as her blood splattered on the pavement... Grimmjows P.O.V! I saw Emma lunge at Serena but she moved out of the way then next thing I know..I see Serena standing behind Emma with the sword at her side..with blood dripping from the tip; She moved..so...smoothly...and so..fast I didn't even had the time to realize what was happening. It was really quiet all you could hear was the rustle of the wind and a sound of blood splattering on the pavement. I saw Emma clutch her side and Serena turned around and said, "Didn't I tell you..if you fuck with me..you might not ever see day-light ever again ...or I might just put you in a hospital?" Emma came at her again this time Serena didn't even have to move she didn't even raise the sword. but Emma fell to the ground. Emmas P.O.V She..cut me....I just can't believe she cut me...how does she know..how to wield a sword but it has something engraved in it...that says 'He whom bleeds..is he who dies last.- Kenjutsu-iajiutsu.' 'Kenjutsu-iajiutsu? What kinda name is that? Japanese or something?!' I think to myself as Serena glared down at me but put the sword away..and set it back in her car and Grimmjow called 991 and an ambulance arrived. and took me away to a hospital, is all I remember before I blacked out. Normal P.O.V Serena finds sum scratch remover stuff. She lets grimmjow in the house and goes to take a short and quick shower and changed into this : www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=39555608 and I walk back down stairs and sit next to grimmjow, "We should make cookies...but since ur the cookie monster i better hide 'em all!" We laff and watch a movie! An Invitation? After two years....two fucking years..you somehow happen to come back into my life Emma's P.O.V I can't believe her! I mean I shouldn't be in here, Serena should be!! There was a knock at the door. "Come in!" I shouted as Stacy and Brit-Brit came in. "Hey! how do ya feel?" "HOW DO I FEEL?!! IM IN A DAMN HOSPITAL BED CASUE OF HER!" I yelled at them; really why would you ask that? "Well You do deserve it. I mean she did tell us not to mess with her or she would either kill us or end up in the hospital." "BRITNEY! SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Brit-brit walked up to me and bitch slaped me...really hard. "I'm done! putting up with your shit! you might as well be in here! Yell at me like that again and you will be flying out of a window!" "Seriously We quit the squad by the way...Emma ever since she got here you've been like a bitch. She didn't do anything to you..so why fuck with her?!" They leave and basically ever since then they haven't come to visit me. Serena's P.O.V! I go out to check the mail to find a invitation..from.. Britney and Stacy. 'Great what the fuck is this?' I thought as I went back inside I opened it and it says "Your invited! to a party! at Britney's house!' I look at it and throw it on the counter as I walk up to get dressed in this: www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=39676333 I grabbed my car keys and left the house adn drove to Grimmjows as He walked out and got in. "You got one to?" He asked. I nodded as we went and got Jessi..Celeb and Kahel and a few other people and drove to Britney's house. At the Party Serena and the gang walked in and Britney walked over "Hey Serena! Hey guys!!" She tried to hug me i move back and say,"Don't. How did you get my address?" "Oh just from a friend. Well Emma still hates you; but don't worry about her." "Why would I worry about her..and why are you acting like we are friends but we're not." After that we all just enjoy the party..I see my.ex-boyfriend, Alex and I tell Grimmjow Imma stand outside for a bit. I walk and lean on my car. Grimmjows P.O.V Serena tells me she's going to stand outside for a while, I nodded at her and she goes outside I wonder who was here she didn't like or whatever, I go outside and see her leaning on her car and stood in front of her. "What's wrong?" "I..can't believe hes here." "Who? Who are you talking about.??" She looked at the ground then back up at me and said, "Alex..." she paused.. "my ex...I mean I shouldn't even care..that he's here, right?" "Yeah..wait what happened between you an him? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." "It's fine I'll tell you..." She told me. I can't believe he would do such a thing to her...I mean why would he even hit her. Now I just want to break every bone in his body. "Grimmjow? um are you ok?" "No..I'm not. Why would he do that to you? Did you let him?" "We were having a fight...a-and I slapped him cause i was just so pissed off and then he got mad and then he hit me. N-no I didn't let." I look at her and pull her into a hug. Alex's P.O.V I saw Serena walk over to one of her friends that she came in with. The tall one with blue hair. That slut. I walk outside and see her and him hugging. "Well, well, well look what we have here. Serena, babe. How you been?" I smirk as she pulled away and glared at me and said, "Don't call me that! I'm not your 'babe'. What do you want Alex?!" She said babe with such discuss in her voice. "Well..looks like you've found a new boyfriend? you such a slut." "Alex. Back. The. Fuck. Off." the blue haired guy said. "and what are you going to do if I don't" He came closer to me, Serena held him back and said, "Grimmjow, don't its not worth it." "Yes it is, Serena. He hurt you..physically..and emotionally. He should feel the pain that you felt." The way he looked at her, ew sick..ever herd of don't use so much Public affection? "Have him protect you Serena? You're still the same girl who doesn't know how to fight her own fights by her self. Peathic. I hear Your brother died in the war. I bet he didn't try his bes-" I was cut off cause Serena punched me. "Shut. up." "I can't stand you! You must think I'm some toy? Like you played with my heart. Well let me explain something to you...I'm not the same as I was 2 years ago...but you..still havent changed." I can't believe she punched me. I can't believe she said that to me. I get up and punch her and take out my pocket knife adn stab her in her side I watch her scream in pain. Grimmjows P.O.V Alex punched Serena and then stabbed her I jump in and punch him. I can't believe he did this to her again. I swear I'm going to kill him if it's the last thing I do! Normal P.O.V It takes at least 3 people to pull Grimmjow off of Alex adn Grimmjow takes Serena's car keys and drives her to the hospital. Extra Infomation! Ok so out through the story I bet you all are wondering what Serena and people Look like soo here they are!!: Is how Serena looks. thats how Grimmjow Looks (not in the anime. but yeah) My UN-decided life. Normal P.O.V I guess..while my parents are traveling..for work; as usual, I'm stuck at home. alone! Just one day when everyone isn't busy..anyway I might as well find something to do...now. Serena goes up to her room and opens her closet to find a bunch of stuff she didn't even knew she had. She pulled out something random: www.polyvore.com/untitled_60/set?id=39042646 she went toward the door and opened it to find Grimmjow there. "H-hey. You look pissed off....again." she, lets him in. "No..I just haven't slept in...a few days." She looked at him. "Why?" He gave her a.. look. "...Just cause... I uh almost was killed..do-" She was cut off...by Grimmjow kissing her. Serena's P.O.V I was going to finish my sentence...but..Grimmjow kissed me...I blushed. I also heard the door opening to. "Serena Im ho-" my mom droped her bad of stuff and me n grimmjow pull away I looked at her. "Uh...H-hey mom." Grimmjow stood next to me and my mom just went back outside and I started to o upstairs I came back down with my laptop and I looked at him. "S-sorry..I just..couldn't help it." He started rambling on..and I walk up to him and kissed him and he stopped talking and I pulled away and he leaned down to my ear and said "I need to tell yo something...but..not right now." Later that night, me and Grimmjow go hang out and after a while we went back to his house..and he sighed,then looked at me...kinda weird...but..mostly nervous. Grimmjows P.O.V I looked at her and she kinda stood there waiting me me to say what I had to say. Then I remembered what her dad told me when I talked with him, "If you like her...go after her....sooner or later she's going to get board..and stop trying to get you to catch her." I sighed and finally said it. Serenas P.O.V Grimmjow told me how he felt about me and I walked up to him and kissed him...'cause I couldn't find the words to tell him. "I..love you to." He smiled and huged me. My UN-decided life. (part 2) Normal P.O.V Serena and Grimmjow are now together. At school one day Emma walked in as Serena and Her friends were talking. "Hey Serena..we were gonna form a band and we need a vocalist." Serena smiled and Laffed. "Sure." Now...This is where My un-decided and dangerous..Life really begins.... Text: PICTURES (if any) I DO OWN THEM! DO NOT STEAL All rights reserved. Publication Date: November 24th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-serena.reana

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-hannah-faith-i-hate-my-life/

hannah faith I hate my life bi bi bff hello my nasme is britney.my best friend is smatha.well it was like in the middle og school and smatha comes to me and says"i hope you know that tomarrow is the last time you are going to see me."I said "really whhy."she said"i am going to foster care because my mom is being really,really mean to me and my friend told her mom and her mom told the police."i said"thats not right"so the bell rong and we rushed to math the most boring sudject in of the day.the teacher spits every time she says a word.sooooooooooo sad.well that runed my day......................... Publication Date: September 19th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-hannah.works

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-lanequa-paulinea-beckett-like-you-039-ll-never-see-me-again/

Lanequa Paulinea Beckett, Lanequa Beckett Like You'll Never See Me Again Never Ever Relationships. BookRix GmbH & Co. KG 81371 Munich US. . . . .   "Y'all two are just sooo cute! Yelled a girl from Promise's first period. Promise and Reggie we're walking down the hall to their third period class. They held hands, walking in silence. Every other five minutes, a girl yells " Hey" to Reggie and usually he'll always say " wassup. Promise would roll her eyes, and just continue to walk in silence. When they reached Promise's class, they stopped Promise looked at Reggie and turned to walk in the class. She removed her hand from Reggie's and walked through the door, before she could Reggie pulled her arm and leaned her closer to him. He kissed her and said, "Stop being mad at me. Promise rolled her eyes and moved away, "Let go of me, if you stop doing the stupid things you do I wouldn't be mad Reggie. Reggie let go and turned to go down the hall, he looked sort of mad and as he opened the two-sided doors he slammed them shut. Promise feeling a little guilty of why he was mad, but it doesn't change the fact that he talks to other females. Promise walked into class. Mrs. Miller assigned the class to a partner up with another student for a project.  Promise roamed around the room, almost everybody had a partner. There was a knock on the classroom door, Mrs. Miller turned open the door nob. There it stood, a new student. He was a boy, tall, lightskinned with cute baby hair in a box type of cut. He had on the Grape 5s with a Purple and Black college jacket. He wore two diamond earrings in both ears and an Eye brow peircing. This boy is fine as hell, Promise thought. Mrs. Miller smiled at the principal and led him out the door. Leaving the New student there beside Mrs.Miller. "Okay, class. It seems today we have a new student his name is Rodrique. He looked around the class, and glanced at the students his face stopped when he saw Promise. He looked at her hair, Promise dyed her hair Blue and green and added a little bit of esstintions to the end. She had it up in a full bun, her baby hair would show on her edges. Her lips glossy, her beautiful brown eyes  and he glanced at her nose ring. Promise wore waist pants, and a half shirt that read BOSS . All the guys around school would glance at Promise's booty, she had got surgery on it when she was sixteen, sucked her stomach out and place all of that meat in her booty. Rodrique stared and then looked back at Mrs.Miller. Mrs.Miller glanced at Promise and said. "Promise, since you don't have a partner you and the new student can partner up on this assignment. Please take a seat in any seat you would like. Mrs. Miller smiled and handed out the assignments to everyone. They had only 2 weeks to accomplish the assignment, Promise had honors classes she Aced every assignment she would get whether she was working alone or not. Rodrique sat in the seat beside Promise, he smiled at her but Promise nervously turned her attention back to Mrs. Miller. The bell rang. Promise rushed out of her seat, before she could exit the door Rodrique said. "Promise is it? Promise turned around and looked she walked over to Rodrique to introduce herself. "Yes, hi. She said nervous. Rodrique smiled. His smile was beautiful. He wore braces, he had the colors blue and clear. "My name is.. well my bad you know but I rather have my friends call me Drique. Promise looked over at him, "Oh, so you want to be my friend huh? haha. She giggled. Drique started to flirt a little. "I would love for you to be my friend, why wouldn't I want the most gorgeous girl in my third period class to be my friend? Huh? He said and smiled stratching his cute curly baby hair. Promise smiled. "Thanks thats sweet of you. Footsteps came in the classroom. It was Reggie, he walked over to Promise and Drique. "Wassup? He said to Drique. Drique looked convinced. "Wassup? Reggie looked at Promise and said. "So who's this baby? Promise noticing Reggie bragging she replied. "Reggie this is Rodrique well Drique. She smiled at him. "and Drique this is my boyfriend Reggie. Drique's facial expression changed when she said that. "Your boyfriend? He asked. Promise looking at his cute light brown eyes and got back to his attention. "Yeah, we've been dating 6 months now, Reggie me and him are partnering up on this assignment Mrs. Miller assigned us. Reggie looked Drique up and down. "Cool, just know she's my girlfriend and you going have to respect that you dig? Reggie said. Drique answered. "That's wassup, I respect y'all. She's gorgeous keep that beautiful smile of her's on her face. He winked at Promise and walked out of the classroom. Promise smiled. Reggie folded his arms. "So that's wassup with you now? Promise getting annoyed. "What now Reggie? I mean don't you have these hoes walking up and down the hall pointing at you calling you cute and sexy? So why is it a problem when someone compliments me? Atleast he thinks I'm beautiful, you don't even see that in me.She walked out of the classroom. The bell rang. Promise was leaving her eighth period class. Reggie rushing people to move and bumping people in the hall just to get to her. Before you know, Drique walked over to Promise and bumped her on a flirty level. "Wassup? he smiled. Promise looked at him and pushed him back, "Hey, punk ass. Drique smiled. Promise looked at him. "You always smiling. She said and laughed. Drique stopped and look at her. "You know everytime I smile I make you're heart beat. He winked. Promise opened the door to exit the building. "Yeah, you wish. Promise started down the steps, Drique pulled her by her arm closer to him. Promise looked up. "Uuh, what are you doing? She pulled away. Drique looked at her. "I couldn't get a hug, I mean I could die today wouldn't you miss me? Promise thought for a second. She reached over and hugged him. He squeezed her tight. Of course, coming out of the door was Reggie. He had watched them the whole time. "Promise! He called out. Promise let go of Drique and turned around. Reggie walked over to Drique and pushed him. "Bro, didn't I tell you she was my girl, fall back son! Promise ran over to Reggie. "Stop it! Reggie stopped, Drique brushed off himself, and said. "You really need to chill out, if you know she you're girl why you so jealous? Am I a threat to you? Promise said. "Drique cut it. Drique continued. "You scared I might steal you're girl from you? Drique smiled. Reggie walked over to Drique shoved him again. The prinicpal saw the comotion and pulled Reggie away from Drique. "Reggie, I don't want to see you on school grounds for two days now go home and think about what you did to cause all this non sense this afternoon! Reggie walked to his car, "It's whatever. He stormed off. Promise and Drique looked at each other. Drique smiled. Promise walked away. "Promise! Promise wait. Drique ran up to her and tugged her arm. "C'mon don't be mad at me over this, I apologize for my stupid and childish behavior I'm sorry about it. Promise pushed up against him even more. "Don't let it happen again, that was entirely disrespectful to Reggie I should've never hugged you. Drique looked up at Promise. "Man, so now you regreting stuff you wanted to do all day just because he got mad and left. Promise, If you haven't noticed, he's only with you because you're hot stuff I mean damn, If you don't see that by now I don't understand how you're in a honors class. Promise looked at him, and said. "Excuse me? Drique looked at her. " I mean, you're excused and everything. No disrespect at all, I'm just saying maybe it's time you let go. *Honk* *Honk* Drique looked over at a car, "Hey, that's my mom I got to go, but here's my number just hit me up when you get home, I'm sorry again ard? Later beautiful. He ran to the car and got in before he did he blew a kiss at Promise and winked. Promise looked at the note he wrote his number on it read: You're so beautiful, I thought about you all my class periods it's crazy you're steady on my mind, anyway Here's my number you should call me tonight I want to get to know you more, 1-332-567-8968 he left and drew a heart. Promise smiled, and walked over to her car. Free Yourself   Promise entered her driveway, and grabbed her phone out of her cup holder. She picked up the note Drique gave her from the passenger's seat. Her mom walked out on the step with her arms folded. Promise squinched the sun hitting her eyes and said. "What now mom? Her mother handed her the house phone. "It's for you baby. Promise grabbed the phone, and continued to grab her stuff and walk into the house. "Hello? She answered. It was Reggie, he sounded like he was crying, you wouldn't believe what he told Promise! "um, hey? Can we talk? Promise dropped her things on her bedroom floor. "Yeah, wassup? Promise said. Reggie started with. "I know we've been having some problems lately and I've been a total asshole towards you whatever you wanna call me, I decided maybe you're better off without me and you and that new kid can start something new I don't want to get in your way and bug and annoy you by showing you I care. Promise got silent she began to cry. "Reggie why? After all this time? Is there somebody else, did I do something  wrong? Reggie could hear her cry. "C'mon Promise, Don't cry and act like you care about me now. You was hugged up with you're new so called friend today right? I'm sure like you said he makes you feel better and confident about yourself and all that other bullshit and now you wanna cry. Save that Promise just save that you don't give a fuck about me and for you to sit on the phone and cry to convince yourself that you're not the reason why  we're breaking up? Whatever man, It's not like I wanted to loose you anyway, but the signs and things you've shown me only lead me to this cause it's gonna be hard for me to, but atleast you have you're new boothang to calm you down. Take care of yourself promise. He hung up. Promise through the phone across the room, crying heavy and turning red. Her make up was smearing and everything. She pulled out Drique's number from her pocket. Dialed it into her cellphone. It rang. Drique answered. "Hello? Promise trying to stop crying she answered. "Hey, how's the weather? Drique could hear the change in her voice and that she was crying. "Promise? Boo what's wrong what happened? He asked. Promise answered. "It's reggie, he broke up with me just awhile ago. Drique listening, and answered. "See this is the dumb shit, these niggas around here always leaving a beautiful ass girl man I swear they never know when they have something good yo. It pisses me off forreal, You need come see me for awhile go for a walk or something? Promise listened and answered, " Yeah, can I come by? Drique replied. "Yeah, sure I mean we can just chill here if you want. I'ma text you my address okay? Promise answered. "Okay. She hung up and waited for the text to come through. She received it and went to put her shoes back on. She walked in the livingroom to tell her mom she was leaving and headed out the door. She got in her car and started it up. She drove around the corner and took a lot of turns and she saw Drique standing outside by his driveway. Promise parked her car and got out. As she did, Drique held her hand and walked her into his house. "Wow, you're house is big and it's beautiful in here. Drique smiled. "Thanks, my mom's a sucker for keeping a house clean. Promise smiled. "oh yeah? haha, where is she? Drique turned them down the hall. "She's at work, she doesn't get off until twelve midnight. Promise convinced. "Wow, she works hard huh? Drique looked at her. "Yeah, 20 dollars a hour. She does 50 hours and this place across town and does another 50 hours around the corner from our school at that bank. She gets over $1,000 every pay check she gets we don't have a problem with our bills or anything she always gets them paid. Promise smiled looking at him. "Hmm, y'all are doing well huh? Drique looked. "Yeah, I'm searching around for a job that pays well, so I can help her out.. that way we have money to blow and I can get this New girl I'm crushing on something. Promise looked away, entered his room. "Do I know her, She's a senior isn't she? If It's Shay Woods, I'm warning you she's a freak she'll freak around with everyone she gets to. Drique laughed. "Chill, nah haha funny though but it's you punk ass. He smiled. Promise smiled, and took her shoes off and layed on his bed. "Yeah, yeah. Drique glanced at her feet. "Nawl, you going have to either put them dogs away or leave out a my room. He said and smiled. Promise sat up on his bed. "No, my feet are beautiful. Drique looked a her and rubbed her feet. "I know babygirl, they are. She pulled him closer to her and he layed on top of her. He kissed her neck and started to suck and bite her neck even more. While she grinded on him, and started moaning a little. He removed her shirt and unstrapped her bra. She unbuttoned his pants, and pulled off his boxers. She glanced down their for awhile and joked. "Jesus, where is it? She laughed. Drique biting his lip and replying. "Yeah, whatever you can't take this anyway punk. He started to button up his pants. Promise slapped his hands and pulled them back down. "Give it to me, I want it now. She said and moaned. Drique continued to bite her neck, and then unbuttoned her pants and pull her panties down and threw them to the side. "I'ma give it to you real good baby, trust me you going to want to go all night. As they did their sexual activity, Drique's phone began to ring. As he started to get it off the dresser beside them. Promise moaned. "Leave it, please just keep going. Drique loved her sexual moan and her begging for more. As they did it, he went in his dresser and pulled out a condom placed it on his private and they began to get more Intiment. As they both came the same time, Promise let out a moan and Drique groaned and they kissed each other. Promise's baby hair sweating and Driques baby hair sweating, he put his hands around her baby hair and whiped her forehead and kissed it. Promise smiling, and turned over to lay down. Drique left his phone to the side, and laid behind her hugging her from the back. He grinded on her a little, and she fell asleep. Drique lie beside her, kissing her neck and face. He then fell asleep and they lied their together. Are We Together? The next morning, Promise turned over shocked noticing that Drique was laying beside her. She thought, omg what just happend? Did I really just sleep with him, on the first night all because Me and Reggie got in a arguemnet and broke up? Oh no, I feel soo stupid it's so pointless now, Reggie was cleary jealous of my friendship with Drique and that's why he thought I'd be better off.. I don't know what to do! Drique awoken, turned over and said "Morning Beautiful." and smiled. Promise didn't know whether to reply or just get up get her things and leave! "Morning, um I think it's time for me to go home now. Drique stood up and lied beside her, "noo not yet spend at least the morning with me. Promise rolled her eyes and looked down. "Look, what we did was a mistake it met nothing! I was angry at Reggie for breaking up with me and I won't ever get him back knowing what I just did! Drique got up from the bed, pulled on his tank top. "Yeah, you can go. He walked out of his room, leaving the door open for her to exit. Promise grabbed her things and got dressed and left. Trying not to look at him as she walked out, he turned the other way when she decided to glance. Promise Me! Promise walked inside her room, noticing her mother sitting on her bed with her arms crossed. She saw her mothers look and it wasn't a good look, she looked as if she was dissapointed or angry. "What? Promise said. "What? Where were you lastnight I've been calling and texting you're phone girl! Her mom yelled. "I stayed over Danielle's chill out. Promise replied. "Oh really? Because I called danielles mother to speak with her they both said they haven't heard from you and danielle hasn't seen you since school. Promise's mom said. "God mom, stay out of my business, it's not like I was anywhere bad i'm home now I'm not drunk, drugged up or preganat please can you just give me some space? Promise's mother walked out and shook her head. Promise slammed the door, and hopped on her bed. She received a text. It was danielle. Danielle-wassup blue? Promise-chilling, laying down. Danielle- well are you going to that party on 54 street tonight down by the beach house? Promise- nah, I'm stay in tonight i'm tired of partying every weekend I need a break. Danielle- Omg, stay over my house tonight I want you to go with me pick out something sexy I heard them boys from West high gonna be there! Promise put down her phone, looked in her closet. "Ugh, Danielle just works my nerves man. She said out to herself. Promise picked something out and put it in a bag. Picked out her 6-inch black heels and placed the in the box. She walked out her room closed the door and went into the living room. "Ma, I'm going over danielle's i'm staying there tonight. Promise said. "Go ahead, you want you're space don't check in with me little girl. Promise rolled her eyes, got her keys off the table and left.Promsie arrived to Danielle's house. *knock knock* "Bitch what took you so long? Danielle yelled. "I've been in traffic asshole! Danielle walked into her room and fell on her bed. "Let's get cute I got a feeling I'm meet my true love tonight,Is Reggie going? Girl, you better tell him to stay home them girls from West high some hoes and tricks. Promsie looked down. "Girl, we broke up don't ask why I don't want to talk about it right now I'll tell you when we get back. Danielle looked, "dang, alright. Promise went to take a shower, Danielle went in after. They both got dressed, got dolled up and walked out. "Girlll, it's about to be on and popping tonight. Danielle said putting on her lipgloss. "Yeah, right I bet it's going be the same old stupid no good dudes from school. Danielle rolled her eyes. They got to the party, and saw over like 80 or 90 people there it was packed! Danielle and Promise walked in and started dancing around, Promise glanced around and saw Drique! He was standing by the fire talking to some thin, skinny girl. Promise turned. Drique glanced over at Promise and smiled. Though she wasn't looking at him, she could feel him staring at her. So she continued to dance. A tall brownskin dude, walked over to her. He wore camoflodge shorts and a bob marley shirt that matched it. He was cute. "Wassup goregous? Promise smiled. "Just having a good time. Drique frowned and walked over to Promise and the dude. "Wassup homie? Drique said to the dude. "Sup, nigga? Drique turned all his attention back to Promise. "Y'all talk or something? Promise looked. "We we're having a conversation, you interrupted it. Drique rolled his eyes. "I bet. But bruh you going have to chill and leave my girl alone. The dude walked away. "Really? Promise yelled. "So you let lastnight happen and then be done with me and talking to other people now? Drique said. "Like I said this morning, It was a MISTAKE. It was all out of guilt, it wasn't real. Promise yelled. "You made it clear already. Drique said and walked away. Promise looked down, and walked down to the beach stream thinking, while Danielle was dancing with dudes and yelling "TURN UP IN THE MF!". I'm sorry While promise went to go sit in the car until the party was over, she glanced over at the beach side and saw Drique standing by the low tides. He was just standing there kicking rocks, putting his hand over his head and just yelling. Promise decided whether to go talk to him or not, she put her pride aside and went to go talk to him. "Drique.. Promise started with, than look down. "I'm sorry if I made you feel some type of way about what happened, it's just that when I was uspet and worthless you were there for me to lean on, to cry on and talk to I don't know why I had to take it this far, your a good friend and I think thats all we should be for now on. Drique stood in silence for about a minute, turned to promise and said. "You know all this time I'm thinking that I wasn't good enough for you and that I needed to try harder to win you over but.. it seems as if I was wrong I guess you deserve better. He walked over and kissed her forehead and walked back into the Beach House. Promise felt a tear drop on her face, she quickly wiped it off. She ran back in the party to find Daniellle, it was time to leave. "Danielle! Promise yelled, but of course Danielle had been twerking on dudes, giving them lap dances and whispering in their ear. DANIELLE! LET'S GO! Promise yelled more eagerly. Danielle shoke her head, waved bye to the dudes and winked. "Dang, Promise. You know i'm not ready to leave yet. Drique looked over at Promise, Promise turned whipped a tear and left. "Danielle let's go. Drique walked quickly over to Danielle, Go enjoy yourself for a bit me and her need to talk. Drique left out and saw promise struggling to open the car door. "Promise wait. Promise turned and walked over to drique. "why make me feel like hell? huh? You must love hurting feelings, that was wrong and brutal to turn this all over on me as if I wanted this to happen, you think I asked for all of this? Well I didn't I didn't ask for Reggie to get jealous I didn't ask for me to cry and be uspet I didn't ask to kiss you and have sex with you I didn't ask for my mother to ignore me.. I didn't ask for none of this! My whole life is coming apart at this moment, My feelings are weak I'm broken. She cried. "I have no strength to go on and think , Hey does he like me? Am I good enough? Do I want this? It doesn't matter anymore, yeah you made me feel like I was in heaven and life was everything, now I'm just in hell right now. She shoke her head and cried somemore. Drique hugged her tight, kissed her forehead, held her hand and kissed her cheeks. "Stop. I don't like to see you cry, I didn't mean to hurt you, but you tore me apart, I mean like.. I really really like you, I never really liked any other girl or felt this way about any other girl the way I feel about you. It's just something about you that keeps bringing me back and making me try even harder. Promise looked and turned to him, face to face. "You don't mean that. She said unsure. Drique smiled. "Now stop playing you know I do, If i didn't feel this way or care the way I do, seeing you run off and cry wouldn't have ment nothing to me, and ecspically If you saw me crying over you. Promise giggled. "Yeah, it was kind of funny but it was cute. Drique frowned his face. "Don't brag. Promise laughed. "Yeah sure I won't. Drique picked her up and swung her around and kissed her face everytime he would let he drop. "Promsie... He said. "Yeah? Drique dropped her, and held her cheeks. "I love you. He said and kissed her, she smiled and kissed him back. "Now I'm on Cloud 9 haha. She laughed. Publisher: BookRix GmbH & Co. KG Implerstraße 24 81371 Munich Germany Publication Date: July 28th 2014 https://www.bookrix.com/-rz4d18bbaa01f25 ISBN: 978-3-7368-0454-8

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Pedro Calderón de la Barca The Purgatory of St. Patrick Translator Denis Florence MacCarthy INTRODUCTION. Two of the dramas contained in this volume are the most celebrated of all Calderon's writings. The first, "La Vida es Sueno", has been translated into many languages and performed with success on almost every stage in Europe but that of England. So late as the winter of 1866-7, in a Russian version, it drew crowded houses to the great theatre of Moscow; while a few years earlier, as if to give a signal proof of the reality of its title, and that Life was indeed a Dream, the Queen of Sweden expired in the theatre of Stockholm during the performance of "La Vida es Sueno". In England the play has been much studied for its literary value and the exceeding beauty and lyrical sweetness of some passages; but with the exception of a version by John Oxenford published in "The Monthly Magazine" for 1842, which being in blank verse does not represent the form of the original, no complete translation into English has been attempted. Some scenes translated with considerable elegance in the metre of the original were published by Archbishop Trench in 1856; but these comprised only a portion of the graver division of the drama. The present version of the entire play has been made with the advantages which the author's long experience in the study and interpretation of Calderon has enabled him to apply to this master-piece of the great Spanish poet. All the forms of verse have been preserved; while the closeness of the translation may be inferred from the fact, that not only the whole play but every speech and fragment of a speech are represented in English in the exact number of lines of the original, without the sacrifice, it is to be hoped, of one important idea. A note by Hartzenbusch in the last edition of the drama published at Madrid (1872), tells that "La Vida es Sueno", is founded on a story which turns out to be substantially the same as that with which English students are familiar as the foundation of the famous Induction to the "Taming of the Shrew". Calderon found it however in a different work from that in which Shakespeare met with it, or rather his predecessor, the anonymous author of "The Taming of a Shrew", whose work supplied to Shakespeare the materials of his own comedy. On this subject Malone thus writes. "The circumstance on which the Induction to the anonymous play, as well as to the present Comedy [Shakespeare's "Taming of the Shrew"], is founded, is related (as Langbaine has observed) by Heuterus, "Rerum Burgund." lib. iv. The earliest English original of this story in prose that I have met with is the following, which is found in Goulart's "Admirable and Memorable Histories", translated by E. Grimstone, quarto, 1607; but this tale (which Goulart translated from Heuterus) had undoubtedly appeared in English, in some other shape, before 1594: "Philip called the good Duke of Burgundy, in the memory of our ancestors, being at Bruxelles with his Court, and walking one night after supper through the streets, accompanied by some of his favourites, he found lying upon the stones a certaine artisan that was very dronke, and that slept soundly. It pleased the prince in this artisan to make trial of the vanity of our life, whereof he had before discoursed with his familiar friends. He therefore caused this sleeper to be taken up, and carried into his palace; he commands him to be layed in one of the richest beds; a riche night cap to be given him; his foule shirt to be taken off, and to have another put on him of fine holland. When as this dronkard had digested his wine, and began to awake, behold there comes about his bed Pages and Groomes of the Duke's Chamber, who drawe the curteines, make many courtesies, and being bare-headed, aske him if it please him to rise, and what apparell it would please him to put on that day. They bring him rich apparell. This new Monsieur amazed at such courtesie, and doubting whether he dreamt or waked, suffered himselfe to be drest, and led out of the chamber. There came noblemen which saluted him with all honour, and conduct him to the Masse, where with great ceremonie they give him the booke of the Gospell, and the Pixe to kisse, as they did usually to the Duke. From the Masse they bring him back unto the pallace; he washes his hands, and sittes down at the table well furnished. After dinner, the Great Chamberlain commands cards to be brought with a great summe of money. This Duke in imagination playes with the chief of the Court. Then they carry him to walke in the gardein, and to hunt the hare, and to hawke. They bring him back into the pallace, where he sups in state. Candles being light the musitions begin to play; and the tables taken away, the gentlemen and gentlewomen fell to dancing. Then they played a pleasant comedie, after which followed a Banket, whereat they had presently store of Ipocras and pretious wine, with all sorts of confitures, to this prince of the new impression; so as he was dronke, and fell soundlie asleepe. Hereupon the Duke commanded that he should be disrobed of all his riche attire. He was put into his old ragges, and carried into the same place, where he had been found the night before; where he spent that night. Being awake in the morning, he began to remember what had happened before; he knewe not whether it were true indeede, or a dream that had troubled his braine. But in the end, after many discourses, he concludes that ALL WAS BUT A DREAME that had happened unto him; and so entertained his wife, his children, and his neighbours, without any other apprehension." It is curious to find that the same anecdote which formed the Induction to the original "Taming of a Shrew", and which, from a comic point of view, Shakespeare so wonderfully developed in his own comedy, Calderon invested with such solemn and sublime dignity in "La Vida es Sueno". He found it, as Senor Hartzenbusch points out in the edition of 1872 already quoted, in the very amusing "Viage Entretenido" of Augustin de Rojas, which was first published in 1603. Hartzenbusch refers to the modern edition of Rojas, Madrid, 1793, tomo I, pp. 261, 262, 263, but in a copy of the Lerida edition of 1615, in my own possession, I find the anecdote at folios 118, 119, 120. There are some slight differences between the version of Rojas and that of Goulart, but the incidents and the persons are the same. The conclusion to which the artizan arrived at, in the version of Goulart, that all had been a dream, is expressed more strongly by the Duke himself in the story as told by Rojas. "Y dijo entonces el Duque: 'veis aqui, amigos, "Lo que es el Mundo: Todo es un Sueno", pues esto verdaderamente ha pasado por este, como habeis visto, y le parece que lo ha sonado.'" - The story in all probability came originally from the East. Mr. Lane in his translation of the Thousand and One Nights gives a very interesting narrative which he believes to be founded on an historical fact in which Haroun Al Raschid plays the part of the good Duke of Burgundy, and Abu-l-Hasan the original of Christopher Sly. The gravity of the treatment and certain incidents in this Oriental story recall more strongly Calderon's drama than the Induction to the "Taming of the Shrew". "La Vida es Sueno" was first published either at the end of 1635 or beginning of 1636. The "Aprobacion" for its publication along with eleven other dramas (not nine as Archbishop Trench has stated), was signed on the 6th of November in the former year by the official licenser, Juan Bautista de Sossa. The volume was edited by the poet's brother, Don Joseph Calderon. So scarce has this first authorised collection of any of Calderon's dramas become, that a Spanish writer Don Vicente Garcia de la Huerta, in his "Teatro Espanol" (Parte Segunda, tomo 3o), denies the existence of this volume of 1635, and states that it did not appear until 1640. As if to corroborate this view, Barrera in his "Catalogo del Teatro antiguo Espanol" gives the date 1640 to the "Primera parte de comedias de Calderon" edited by his brother Joseph. There can be no doubt, however, that the volume appeared in 1635 or 1636 as stated. In 1637 Don Joseph Calderon published the "Second Part" of his brother's dramas containing like the former volume twelve plays.* In his dedication of this volume to D. Rodrigo de Mendoza, Joseph Calderon expressly alludes to the First Part of his brother's comedies which he had "printed." "En la primera Parte, Excellentissimo Senor, de las comedias que imprimi de Don Pedro Calderon de La Barca, mi hermano," etc. This of course settles the fact of the prior publication of the first Part. It is singular, however, to find that the most famous of all Calderon's dramas should have been frequently ascribed to Lope de Vega. So late as 1857 it is given in an Italian version by Giovanni La Cecilia, under the title of "La Vita e un Sogno", as a drama of Lope de Vega, with the date 1628. This of course is a mistake, but Senor Hartzenbusch, who makes no allusion to this circumstance, admits that two dramas of Lope de Vega, which it is presumed preceded the composition of Calderon's play turn on very nearly the same incidents as those of "La Vida es Sueno". These are "Lo que ha de ser", and "Barlan y Josafa". He gives a passage from each of these dramas which seem to be the germ of the fine lament of Sigismund, which the reader will find translated in the present volume. [footnote] *In the library of the British Museum there is a fine copy of this "Segunda Parte de Comedias de Don Pedro Calderon de la Barca" Madrid, 1637. Mr. Ticknor mentions (1863) that he too had a copy of this interesting volume. Senor Hartzenbusch, in the edition of Calderon's "La Vida es Sueno", already referred to (Madrid, 1872), prints the passages from Lope de Vega's two dramas, but in neither of them, he justly remarks, can we find anything that at all corresponds to this "grandioso caracter de Segismundo." The second drama in this volume, "The Wonderful Magician", is perhaps better known to poetical students in England than even the first, from the spirited fragment Shelley has left us in his "Scenes from Calderon." The preoccupation of a subject by a great master throws immense difficulties in the way of any one who ventures to follow in the same path: but as Shelley allowed himself great licence in his versification, and either from carelessness or an imperfect knowledge of Spanish is occasionally unfaithful to the meaning of his author, it may be hoped in my own version that strict fidelity both as to the form as well as substance of the original may be some compensation for the absence of those higher poetical harmonies to which many of my readers will have been accustomed. "El Magico Prodigioso" appeared for the first time in the same volume as "La Vida es Sueno", prepared for publication in 1635 by Don Joseph Calderon. The translation is comprised in the same number of lines as the original, and all the preceding remarks on "Life is a Dream", whether in reference to the period of the first publication of the drama in Spain, or the principles I kept in view while attempting this version may be applied to it. As in the Case of "Life is a Dream", "The Wonderful Magician" has previously been translated entire by an English writer, ("Justina", by J.H. 1848); but as Archbishop Trench truly observes, "the writer did not possess that command of the resources of the English language, which none more than Calderon requires." The Legend on which Calderon founded "El Magico Prodigioso" will be found in Surius, "De probatis Sanctorum historiis", t. V. (Col. Agr. 1574), p. 351: "Vita et Martyrium SS. Cypriani et Justinae, autore Simeone Metaphraste", and in Chapter cxlii, of the "Legenda Aurea" of Jacobus de Voragine "De Sancta Justina virgine". The martyrdom of the Saints took place in the year 290, and their festival is celebrated by the Church on the 26th of September. Mr. Ticknor in his History of Spanish Literature, 1863, volume ii. p. 369, says that the Wonder-working Magician is founded on "the same legend on which Milman has founded his 'Martyr of Antioch.'" This is a mistake of the learned writer. "The Martyr of Antioch" is founded not on the history of St. Justina but of Saint Margaret, as Milman himself expressly states. Chapter xciii., "De Sancta Margareta", in the "Legenda Aurea" of Jacobus de Voragine contains her story. The third translation in this volume is that of "The Purgatory of St. Patrick". This, though perhaps not so famous as the two preceding dramas, is intended to be given by Don P. De la Escosura, in a selection of Calderon's finest "comedias", now being edited by him for the Spanish Academy, as the representative piece of its class - namely, the mystical drama founded on the lives of Saints. Mr. Ticknor prefers it to the more celebrated "Devotion of the Cross," and says that it "is commonly ranked among the best religious plays of the Spanish theatre in the seventeenth century." In all that relates to the famous cave known through the middle ages as the "Purgatory of Saint Patrick", as well as the Story of Luis Enius - the Owain Miles of Ancient English poetry - Calderon was entirely indebted to the little volume published at Madrid, in 1627, by Juan Perez de Montalvan, entitled "Vida y Purgatorio de San Patricio". This singular work met with immense success. It went through innumerable editions, and continues to be reprinted in Spain as a chap-book, down to the present day. I have the fifth impression "improved and enlarged by the author himself," Madrid, 1628, the year after its first appearance: also a later edition, Madrid, 1664. As early as 1637 a French translation appeared at Brussels by "F. A. S. Chartreux, a Bruxelles." In 1642 a second French translation was published at Troyes, by "R. P. Francois Bouillon, de l'Ordre de S. Francois, et Bachelier de Theologie." Mr. Thomas Wright in his "Essay on St. Patrick's Purgatory," London, 1844, makes the singular mistake of supposing that Bouillon's "Histoire de la Vie et Purgatoire de S. Patrice" was founded on the drama of Calderon, it being simply a translation of Montalvan's "Vida y Purgatorio," from which, like itself, Calderon's play was derived. Among other translations of Montalvan's work may be mentioned one in Dutch (Brussels, 1668) and one in Portuguese (Lisbon, 1738). It was also translated into German and Italian, but I find no mention of an English version. For this reason I have thought that a few extracts might be interesting, as showing how closely Calderon adhered even to the language of his predecessor. In all that relates to the Purgatory, Montalvan's work is itself chiefly compiled from the "Florilegium Insulae Sanctorum, seu vitae et Actae sanctorum Hiberniae," Paris, 1624, fol. This work, which has now become scarce, was written by Thomas Messingham an Irish priest, the Superior of the Irish Seminary in Paris. No complete English version appears to have been made of it, but a small tract in English containing everything in the original work that referred to St. Patrick's Purgatory was published at Paris in 1718. As this tract is perhaps more scarce than even the Florilegium itself, the account of the Purgatory as given by Messingham from the MS. of Henry of Saltrey is reprinted in the notes to this drama in the quaint language of the anonymous translator. Of this tract, "printed at Paris in 1718" without the name of author, publisher or printer, I have not been able to trace another copy. In other points of interest connected with Calderon's drama, particularly to the clearing up of the difficulty hitherto felt as to the confused list of authorities at the end, the reader is also referred to the notes. The present version of "The Purgatory of Saint Patrick" is, with the exception of a few unimportant lines, an entirely new translation. It is made with the utmost care, imitating all the measures and contained, like the two preceding dramas, in the exact number of lines of the original. One passage of the translation which I published in 1853 is retained in the notes, as a tribute of respect to the memory of the late John Rutter Chorley, it having been mentioned with praise by that eminent Spanish scholar in an elaborate review of my earlier translations from Calderon, which appeared in the "Athenaeum", Nov. 19 and Nov. 26, 1853. It only remains to add that the text I have followed is that of Hartzenbusch in his edition of Calderon's Comedias, Madrid, 1856 ("Biblioteca de Autores Espanoles"). His arrangement of the scenes has been followed throughout, thus enabling the reader in a moment to verify for himself the exactness of the translation by a reference to the original, a crucial test which I rather invite than decline. CLAPHAM PARK, Easter, 1873. * * * * * THE PURGATORY OF ST. PATRICK. TO AUBREY DE VERE, WHOSE "LEGENDS OF ST. PATRICK" ARE AMONG THE MOST BEAUTIFUL OF ENGLISH POEMS, THIS VERSION OF THE CELEBRATED LEGEND OF ST. PATRICK'S PURGATORY, AS TOLD BY CALDERON, IS AFFECTIONATELY INSCRIBED BY THE AUTHOR. PERSONS. * * * * * EGERIUS, King of Ireland. PATRICK. LUIS ENIUS. A GOOD ANGEL. A BAD ANGEL. PHILIP. LEOGAIRE. A CAPTAIN. POLONIA, Daughter of the King. LESBIA, her Sister. PAUL, a Peasant. LUCY, his Wife. Two Canons Regular. Two Peasants. An Old Countryman. A Muffled Figure. Attendants, Friars, and others. * * * * * The Scene passes in Ireland, in the Court of King Egerius, and other parts. THE PURGATORY OF SAINT PATRICK. * * * * * ACT THE FIRST. THE SEA-SHORE, WITH PRECIPITOUS CLIFFS. SCENE I. The King EGERIUS, clad in skins, LEOGAIRE, POLONIA, LESBIA, and a Captain. KING [furious]. Here let me die. Away! LEOGAIRE. Oh, stop, my lord! CAPTAIN. Consider . . . LESBIA. Listen . . . POLONIA. Stay . . . KING. Yes, from this rocky height, Nigh to the sun, that with one starry light Its rugged brow doth crown, Headlong among the salt waves leaping down Let him descend who so much pain perceives; There let him raging die who raging lives. LESBIA. Why wildly seekest thou the sea? POLONIA. Thou wert asleep, my lord; what could it be? KING. Every torment that doth dwell For ever with the thirsty fiends of hell - Dark brood of that dread mother, The seven-necked snake, whose poisoned breath doth smother The fourth celestial sphere; In fine, its horror and its misery drear Within me reach so far, That I myself upon myself make war, When in the arms of sleep A living corse am I, for it doth keep Such mastery o'er my life, that, as I dream, A pale foreshadowing threat of coming death I seem. POLONIA. How could a dream, my lord, provoke you so? KING. Alas! my daughters, listen, you shall know. From out the lips of a most lovely youth (And though a miserable slave, in sooth I dare not hurt him, and I speak his praise), Well, from the mouth of a poor slave, a blaze Of lambent lustre came, Which mildly burned in rays of gentlest flame; Till reaching you, The living fire at once consumed ye two. I stood betwixt ye both, and though I sought To stay its fury, the strange fire would not Molest or wound me, passing like the wind, So that despairing, blind, I woke from out a deep abysm Of dream, a lethargy, a paroxysm; But find my pains the same, For still it seems to me I see that flame, And flying, at every turn See you consumed; but now I also burn.* [footnote] *The Dream of Egerius, as given by Calderon, agrees substantially with Jocelin's description, and differs only in one slight particular (the number of the flames) from that in Montalvan's "Vida y Purgatorio de San Patricio". In the latter, the name of the Irish prince to whom Patrick was sold is not given; in Jocelin he is called "Milcho." Calderon was either ignorant of this, and gave the king a name that was purely imaginary, or, considering it less musical than he would wish, gave him the more harmonious one of Egerio. The following is Jocelin's version: "And Milcho beheld a vision in the night: and behold Patrick entered his palace as all on fire, and the flames, issuing from his mouth, and from his nose, and from his eyes, and from his ears, seemed to burn him; but Milcho repelled from himself the flaming hair of the boy, nor did it prevail to touch him any nearer; but the flame, being spread, turned aside to the right and catching on his two little daughters, who were lying in one bed, burned them even to ashes: then the south wind blowing strongly dispersed their ashes over many parts of Ireland." - "Jocelin's Life of St. Patrick, translated by Swift" (Dublin, 1804), pp. 17, 18. LESBIA. Light phantoms these, Chimeras which an entrance find with ease Into the dreamer's brain. [A trumpet sounds. But wherefore sounds this trumpet? CAPTAIN. It is plain Ships are approaching to our port below. POLONIA. Grant me thy leave, great lord, since thou dost know A trumpet in my ear Sounds like a siren's voice, serene and clear; Ever to war inclined, In martial music my chief joy I find; Its clangour and its din Lead my rapt senses on: for I may win Through it my highest fame, When soaring to the sun on waves of flame, Or wings as swift, my proud name shall ascend, There it may be with Pallas to contend. [Aside. A stronger motive urges me to go: If it is Philip's ship I wish to know. [Exit. LEOGAIRE. Descend, my lord, with me Down where the foam-curled head of the blue sea Bows at the base of this majestic hill, Whose sands, like chains of gold, restrain its wilder will. CAPTAIN. Let it divert thy care, This snow-white monster fair, Whose waves of dazzling hue Shape silver frames round mirrors sapphire blue. KING. Nothing can give relief; Nothing can now divert me from my grief; That mystic fire will give my life no rest,- My heart an Etna seems within my breast. LESBIA. Is any sight more fair? can aught surpass That of a vessel breaking through the glass Of crystal seas, and seeming there to be, As with light share it cuts the azure mass, A fish of the wind, a swift bird of the sea, And being for two elements designed, Flies in the wave and swims upon the wind? But now no witchery Were it to any eyes that sight to see; For lo! the roused-up ocean, Heaving with all its mountain waves in motion, Wrinkles its haughty brow, And suddenly awaking, Neptune, his trident shaking, Ruffles the beauteous face so sweet and calm but now. Well may the sailor in his floating home Expect a storm, for, lo! in heaven's high vault Rise pyramids of ice, mountains of salt, Turrets of snow, and palaces of foam. POLONIA returns. POLONIA. O dire misfortune! KING. What so suddenly Has chanced, Polonia? POLONIA. This inconstant sea, This Babel of wild waves that seeks heaven's gate, So great its fury, and its rage so great, Driven by a drought accursed, (Who would have thought that waves themselves could thirst?) Has swallowed in the depths of its dread womb, But now, a numerous company, to whom It consecrates below Red sepulchres of coral, tombs of snow, In silver-shining caves; For from their prison out o'er all the waves Has Aeolus the winds let loose, and they, Without a law to guide them on their way, Fell on that bark from which the trumpet rang, A swan whose own sad obsequies it sang. I from that cliff's stupendous height, Which dares to intercept the great sun's light, Looked full of hope along that vessel's track, To see if it was Philip who came back; Philip whose flag had borne upon the breeze Thy royal arms triumphant through the seas; When his sad wreck swept by, And every sound was buried in a sigh, His ruin seemed not wrought by seas or skies, But by my lips and eyes, Because my cries, the tears that made me blind, Increased still more the water and the wind. KING. How! ye immortal deities, Would you still try by threatenings such as these What I can bear? Is it your wish that I should mount and tear This azure palace down, as if the shape Of a new Nimrod* I assumed, to show How on my shoulders might the world escape, Nor as I gazed below Feel any fear, though all the abysses under Were rent with fire and flame, with lightning and with thunder. [footnote] *Nimrod is here used for Atlas. "Nimrod aber ist hier, was den Profandichtern und auch dem Calderon oft Atlas ist." - Schmidt, 'Die Schauspiele Calderon's' etc.,' p. 426. * * * * * SCENE II. PATRICK, and then LUIS ENIUS. PATRICK [within]. Ah me! LEOGAIRE. Some mournful voice. KING. What's this? CAPTAIN. The form, As of a man who has escaped the storm, Swims yonder to the land. LESBIA. And strives to give a life-sustaining hand Unto another wretch, when he Appeared about to sink in death's last agony. POLONIA. Poor traveller from afar, Whom evil fate and thy malignant star On this far shore have cast, Let my voice guide thee, if amid the blast My accents thou canst hear; since it is only To rouse thy courage that I speak to thee. Come! [Enter PATRICK and LUIS ENIUS, clasping each other. PATRICK. Oh, God save me! LUIS. Oh, the devil save ME! LESBIA. They move my pity, these unhappy two. KING. Not mine, for what it is I never knew. PATRICK. Oh, sirs, if wretchedness Can move most hearts to pity man's distress, I will not think that here A heart can be so cruel and severe As to repel a wretch from out the wave. Pity, for God's sake, at your feet I crave. LUIS. I don't, for I disdain it. From God or man I never hope to gain it. KING. Say who you are; we then shall know What hospitable care your needs we owe. But first I will inform you of my name, Lest ignorance of that perchance might claim Exemption from respect, and words be said Unworthy of the deference and the dread That here my subjects show me, Or wanting the due homage that you owe me. I am the King Egerius, The worthy lord of this small realm, for thus I call it being mine; Till 'tis the world, my sword shall not resign Its valorous hope. The dress, Not of a king, but of wild savageness I wear: to testify, Thus seeming a wild beast, how wild am I. No god my worship claims; I do not even know the deities' names: Here they no service nor respect receive; To die and to be born is all that we believe. Now that you know how much you should revere My royal state, say who you are. PATRICK. Then hear: Patrick is my name, my country Ireland, and an humble hamlet,* Scarcely known to men, called Empthor,** Is my place of birth: It standeth Midway 'twixt the north and west, On a mountain which is guarded As a prison by the sea,- In the island which hereafter Will be called the Isle of Saints, To its glory everlasting; Such a crowd, great lord, therein Will give up their lives as martyrs In religious attestation Of the faith, faith's highest marvel. Of an Irish cavalier, And of his chaste spouse and partner, A French lady, I was born, Unto whom I owe (oh, happy That 'twas so!), beyond my birthright Of nobility, the vantage Of the Christian faith, the light Of Christ's true religion granted In the sacred rite of baptism, Which a mark indelibly stampeth On the soul, heaven's gate, as it Is the sacrament first granted By the Church. My pious parents, Having thus the debt exacted From all married people paid By my birth, retired thereafter To two separate convents, where In the purity and calmness Of their chaste abodes they lived, Till the fatal line of darkness, Ending life, was reached, and they, Fortified by every practice Of the Catholic faith, in peace Yielded up their souls in gladness, Unto heaven their spirits giving, Giving unto earth their ashes. I, an orphan, then remained Carefully and kindly guarded By a very holy matron, Underneath whose rule I hardly Had completed one brief lustrum - Five short years had scarce departed - Five bright circles of the sun Wheeling round on golden axles, Twelve high zodiac signs illuming And one earthly sphere, when happened Through me an event that showed God's omnipotence and marvels; Since of weakest instruments God makes use of, to enhance his Majesty the more, to show That for what men think the grandest And most strange effects, to Him Should alone the praise be granted.- It so happened, and Heaven knoweth That it is not pride, but rather Pure religious zeal, that men Should know how the Lord hath acted, Makes me tell it, that one day To my doors a blind man rambled, Gormas was his name, who said, "God who sends me here commands thee In His name to give me sight;" I, obedient to the mandate, Made at once the sign of the cross On his sightless eyes, that started Into life and light once more From their state of utter darkness. At another time when heaven, Muffled in the thickest, blackest Clouds, made war upon the world, Hurling at it lightning lances Of white snow, which fell so thickly On a mountain, that soon after They being melted by the sun, So filled up our streets and alleys, So inundated our houses, That amid the wild waves stranded They were ships of bricks and stones, Barks of cement and of plaster. Who before saw waves on mountains? Who 'mid woods saw ships at anchor? I the sign of the cross then made On the waters, and in accents, In a tone of grave emotion, In God's name the waves commanded To retire: they turned that moment And left dry the lands they ravaged. Oh, great God! who will not praise Thee? Who will not confess Thee Master?- Other wonders I could tell you, But my modesty throws shackles On my tongue, makes mute my voice, And my lips seals up and fastens. I grew up, in fine, inclined Less to arms than to the marvels Knowledge can reveal: I gave me Almost wholly up to master Sacred Science, to the reading Of the Lives of Saints, a practice Which doth teach us faith, hope, zeal, Charity and Christian manners. In these studies thus immersed, I one day approached the margin Of the sea with some young friends, Fellow-students and companions, When a bark drew nigh, from which Suddenly out-leaping landed Armed men, fierce pirates they, Who these seas, these islands, ravaged; We at once were captives made, And in order not to hazard Losing us their prey, they sailed Out to sea with swelling canvas. Of this daring pirate boat Philip de Roqui was the captain, In whose breast, for his destruction, Pride, the poisonous weed, was planted. He the Irish seas and coast Having thus for some days ravaged, Taking property and life, Pillaging our homes and hamlets; But myself alone reserved To be offered as a vassal, As a slave to thee, O king! In thy presence as he fancied. Oh! how ignorant is man, When of God's wise laws regardless, When, without consulting Him, He his future projects planneth! Philip well, at sea might say so; Since to-day, in sight of land here, Heaven the while being all serene, Mild the air, the water tranquil, In an instant, in a moment, He beheld his proud hopes blasted. In the hollow-breasted waves Roared the wind, the sea grew maddened, Billows upon billows rolled Mountain high, and wildly dashed them Wet against the sun, as if They its light would quench and darken. The poop-lantern of our ship Seemed a comet most erratic - Seemed a moving exhalation, Or a star from space outstarted; At another time it touched The profoundest deep sea-caverns, Or the treacherous sands whereon Ran the stately ship and parted. Then the fatal waves became Monuments of alabaster, Tombs of coral and of pearl. I (and why this boon was granted Unto me by Heaven I know not, Being so useless), with expanded Arms, struck out, but not alone My own life to save, nay rather In the attempt to save this brave Young man here, that life to barter; For I know not by what secret Instinct towards him I'm attracted; And I think he yet will pay me Back this debt with interest added. Finally, through Heaven's great pity We at length have happily landed, Where my misery may expect it, Or my better fate may grant it; Since we are your slaves and servants, That being moved by our disasters, That being softened by our weeping, Our sore plight may melt your hardness, Our affliction force your kindness, And our very pains command you.*** [footnote] * The asonante in a - e, or their vocal equivalents, commences here, and is continued to the commencement of the speech of Enius, when it changes to the asonante in e - e, which is kept up through the remainder of the Scene, and to the end of Scene III. [footnote] ** "Empthor" - see note on this name. [footnote] *** See note for some extracts from Montalvan's "Vida y Purgaterio de San Patricio". KING. Silence, miserable Christian, For my very soul seems fastened On thy words, compelling me, How I know not, to regard thee With strange reverence and fear, Thinking thou must be that vassal - That poor slave whom in my dream I beheld outbreathing flashes, Saw outflashing living fire, In whose flame, so lithe and lambent, My Polonia and my Lesbia Like poor moths were burned to ashes. PATRICK. Know, the flame that from my mouth Issued, is the true Evangel, Is the doctrine of the Gospel:- 'Tis the word which I'm commanded Unto thee to preach, O King! To thy subjects and thy vassals, To thy daughters, who shall be Christians through its means. KING. Cease, fasten Thy presumptuous lips, vile Christian, For thy words insult and stab me. LESBIA. Stay! POLONIA. And wilt thou in thy pity Try to save him from his anger? LESBIA. Yes. POLONIA. Forbear, and let him die. LESBIA. Thus to die by a king's hands here Were unjust. [Aside.] (It is my pity For these Christians prompts my answer.) POLONIA. If this second Joseph then, Like the first one, would unravel, Would interpret the king's dreams, Do not dread the result, my father; For if my being seen to burn Indicates in any manner I should ever be a Christian, As impossible a marvel Such would be, as if, being dead, I could rise and live thereafter. But in order that your mind May be turned from such just anger, Let us hear now who this other Stranger is. LUIS. Then be attentive, Beautiful divinity, For my history thus commences:- Great Egerius, King of Ireland, I by name am Luis Enius, And a Christian also, this Being the sole point of resemblance Betwixt Patrick and myself, Yet a difference presenting: For although we two are Christians, So distinct and so dissevered Are we, that not good from evil Is more opposite in its essence. Yet for all that, in defence Of the faith I believe and reverence, I would lose a thousand lives (Such the esteem for it I cherish). Yes, by God! The oath alone Shows how firmly I confess Him. I no pious tales or wonders, Worked in my behalf by Heaven, Have to speak of: no; dark crimes, Robberies, murders, sacrileges, Treasons, treacheries, betrayals, Must I tell instead, however Vain it be in me to glory In my having such effected. I in one of Ireland's many Isles was born; the planets seven, I suspect, in wild abnormal Interchange of influences, Must have at my hapless birth-time All their various gifts presented. Fickleness the Moon implanted In my nature; subtle Hermes With and genius ill-employed; (Better ne'er to have possessed them); Wanton Venus gave me passions - All the flatteries of the senses, And stern Mars a cruel mind (Mars and Venus both together What will they not give?); the Sun Gave to me an easy temper, Prone to spend, and when means failed me Theft and robbery were my helpers; Jupiter presumptuous pride, Thoughts fantastic and unfettered, Gave me; Saturn, rage and anger, Valour and a will determined On its ends; and from such causes Followed the due consequences. Here from Ireland being banished, By a cause I do not mention Through respect to him, my father Came to Perpignan, and settled In that Spanish town, when I Scarce my first ten years had ended, And when sixteen came, he died. May God rest his soul in heaven!- Orphaned, I remained the prey Of my passions and my pleasures, O'er whose tempting plain I ran Without rein or curb to check me. The two poles of my existence, On which all the rest depended For support, were play and women. What a base on which to rest me! Here my tongue would not be able To acquaint you 'in extenso' With my actions: a brief abstract May, however, be attempted. I, to outrage a young maiden, Stabbed to death a noble elder, Her own father: for the sake Of his wife, a most respected Cavalier I slew, as he Lay beside her in the helpless State of sleep, his honour bathing In his blood, the bed presenting A sad theatre of crimes, Murder and adultery blended. Thus the father and the husband Life for honour's sake surrendered; For even honour has its martyrs. May God rest their souls in heaven!- Dreading punishment for this, I fled hastily, and entered France, where my exploits, methinks, Time will cease not to remember; For, assisting in the wars Which at that time were contended Bravely betwixt France and England, I took military service Under Stephen, the French king, And a fight which chance presented Showed my courage to be such, That the king himself, as guerdon Of my valour, gave to me The commission of an ensign. How that debt I soon repaid, I prefer not now to tell thee. Back to Perpignan, thus honoured, I returned, and having entered Once a guard-house there to play, For some trifle I lost temper, Struck a serjeant, killed a captain, And maimed others there assembled. At the cries from every quarter Speedily the watch collected, And in flying to a church, As they hurried to prevent me, I a catch-pole killed. ('Twas something One good work to have effected 'Mid so many that were bad.) May God rest his soul in heaven!- Far I fled into the country, And asylum found and shelter In a convent of religious, Which was founded in that desert, Where I lived retired and hidden, Well taken care of and attended. For a lady there, a nun, Was my cousin, which connection Gave to her the special burden Of this care. My heart already Being a basilisk which turned All the honey into venom, Passing swiftly from mere liking To desire - that monster ever Feeding on the impossible - Living fire that with intensest Fury burns when most opposed - Flame the wind revives and strengthens, False, deceitful, treacherous foe Which doth murder its possessor - In a word, desire in him, Who nor God nor law respecteth, Of the horrible, of the shocking, Thinks but only to attempt it.- Yes, I dared . . . . But here disturbed, When, my lord, I this remember, Mute the voice in horror fails, Sad the accent faints and trembles, And as 'mid the night's dark shadows, The hair stands on end through terror; Thus confused, so full of doubt, Sad remembrance so o'erwhelms me, That the thing I dared to do I scarce dare in words to tell thee. For, in fine, my crime is such, So to be abhorred, detested, So profane, so sacrilegious (Strange upon thee so to press it), That for having such committed I at times feel some repentance. Well, in fine, I dared one night, When deep silence had erected Sepulchres of fleeting sleep For men's overwearied senses, When a dark and cloudy veil Heaven had o'er its face extended - Mourning which the wind assumed For the sun whose life had ended - In whose obsequies the night-birds Swan-notes sang instead of verses, And when back from waves of sapphire, Where their beauty was reflected, The clear stars a second time Trembling lights to heaven presented:- Well, on such a night, by climbing O'er the garden wall, I entered With the assistance of two friends (For when such things are attempted An associate never fails), And in horror and in terror, Seeking in the dark my death, Reached at length the cell (I tremble To remember it) in which Was my cousin, whom respectful Silence bids me not to name, Though all self-respect has left me. Frightened at such nameless horror, On the hard floor she fell senseless, When she passed into my arms, And ere she regained her senses, She already was outside Her asylum, in a desert, When if heaven possessed the power, It had not the will to help her. Women, when they are persuaded That the wildest of excesses Are the effects of love, forgive them Easily; and, therefore, pleasure Following tears, some consolation In her miseries was effected; Though, in fact, they were so great, That united in one person She saw violence, violation, Incest, nay, adultery even, Against God who was her spouse, And a sacrilege most dreadful. Finally we left that place, Being carried to Valencia By two steeds that well might claim From the winds to be descended: Feigning that she was my wife, But with little peace we dwelt there; For I quickly having squandered Whatsoever little treasure I brought with me, without friends, p 260 Without any hope of help there, In my dire distress appealed To the beauty still so perfect Of my poor pretended wife: If for aught I did I ever Could feel shame, this act alone Would most surely overwhelm me; Since it is the lowest baseness That the vilest breast descends to, To put up to sale one's honour, And to trade in love's caresses. Scarce with shameless front had I This base plan to her suggested, When concealing her design She gave seeming acquiescence; But I scarce had turned my back, Hardly had I left her presence, When she, flying from me, found Grace a convent's walls to enter. There, a holy monk advising, She a saving port and shelter Found against the world's wild storms, And there died, her sin, her penance, Giving all a great example; May God rest her soul in heaven!- Seeing that the narrow world Now took note of my offences, And that soon the very land Might reject me, I determined To re-seek my native country; For at least I there expected To be safer from my foes, In a place so long my centre And my home. The way I took And to Ireland came, which welcomed Me at first as would a mother, But a step-mother resembled Before long, for seeking a passage Where a harbour lay protected By a mole, I found that corsairs Lay concealed within the shelter Of a little creek which his Out of view their well-armed vessel. And of these, their captain, Philip, Took me prisoner, after efforts Made in my defence so brave, That in deference to the mettle I displayed, my life he spared. What ensured you know already, How the wind in sudden anger Rising into raging tempest, Now chastised us in its pride, Now our lives more cruelly threatened, Making in the seas and mountains Such wild ruin and resemblance, That to mock the mountain's pride Waves still mightier forms presented, Which with catapults of crystal Made the cliffs' foundations tremble, So that neighbouring cities fell, And the sea, in scornful temper, Gathering up from its abysses The munition it collecteth, Fired upon the land its pearls In their shells, wherein engendered By the swift breath of the morning In its dew, they shine resplendent Tears of ice and fire; in fine, Not in pictures so imperfect All our time to waste, the crew Went to sup in the infernal Halls themselves; I, too, a guest Would have equally attended With them, if this Patrick, here, Whom I know not why I reverence, Looking with respect and fear On his beauteous countenance ever, Had not drawn me from the sea, Where, exhausted, sinking, helpless, I drank death in every draught, Agony in each salt wave's venom. This my history is, and now I wish neither life nor mercy, Neither that my pains should move thee, Nor my asking should compel thee, Save in this, to give me death, That thus may the life be ended Of a man who is so bad, That he scarcely can be better.* [footnote] *See note as to Montalvan's invention of this story. KING. Luis, though thou art a Christian, Which by me is most detested, Yet I so admire thy courage That I wish, before all present, Between thee and him to show How my power can be exerted, How it punishes as rewards, How it elevates and depresses. And so thus my arms I give thee, That within them thus extended Thou may'st reach my heart; to thee Thus beneath my feet to tread thee; [He throws PATRICK on the ground and places his foot upon him. The two actions signifying How the heavier scale descendeth. And that, Patrick, thou may'st see How I value or give credit To thy threats, thy life I spare. Vomit forth the flame incessant Of the so-called word of God, That by this thou may'st be certain I do not adore his Godship, Nor his miracles have dread of. Live then; but in such a state Of poor, mean, and abject service, As befits a useless hind In the fields; and so as shepherd I would have thee guard my flocks, Which are in these vales collected. Let us see, if for the purpose Of this mystic fire outspreading, Being my slave, thy God will free thee From captivity and thy fetters. [Exit. LESBIA. Patrick moves my heart to pity. [Exit. POLONIA. Not so mine, for none I cherish. Had I any, none would move me Sooner than this Luis Enius.* [Exit. [footnote] *It is difficult to account for Calderon giving the name of "Egerio" to the King of Ireland, when he bestows the proper one - "Leogaire" - on an inferior character. The name of the King of Montalvan. "Era Rey de aquella, y de otras islas comarcanas Leogardo, hijo de Neil." - Cap. I., p. 19, ed. 1628. Calderon had to invent names for the king's daughters, as he did not find them in Montalvan. In the Book of Armagh they are called "Ethne the fair" and "Fedelm the ruddy." - Todd, p. 451. Miss Cusack gives the names "Ethna" and "Fethlema." - "Life of St. Patrick", p. 291. Of their baptism, the distinguished poet to whom this drama is dedicated, has thus sung:- "They knelt: on their heads the wave he poured Thrice, in the name of the Triune Lord: And their foreheads he signed with the Sign adored. On Fedelm the 'Red Rose,' on Ethna 'The Fair,' God's dew shone bright in that morning air." - AUBREY DE VERE'S "Legends of St. Patrick". * * * * * SCENE III. PATRICK and LUIS. PATRICK. Luis, though a low position Mine is here, and I observe thee Raised to fortune's highest summit, Yet I feel more grief than envy At thy rise. Thou art a Christian; Show thyself one now in earnest. LUIS. Patrick, let me now enjoy The first favours fate has sent me After so much sad misfortune. PATRICK. One word, then (if thou wilt let me So presume), I ask of thee. LUIS. What is that? PATRICK. Upon this earth here, Once again, alive or dead, That we two shall meet together. LUIS. Such a word dost ask me? PATRICK. Yes. LUIS. Then I give it. PATRICK. I accept it. [Exeunt. * * * * * SCENE IV. A HAMLET NEAR THE COURT OF EGERIUS. PHILIP and LUCY. LUCY. Pardon, if I have not known How to serve you as I ought. PHILIP. For much more than you have thought Must you my forgiveness own. For when I your kind face view, Pain and pleasure being at war, I have much to thank you for, And have much to pardon too. Thanks, with which my heart is rife, Are for life restored and breath; Pardon, for you give me death, As before you gave me life. LUCY. For such flattering declarations Rude and ignorant am I, So my arms will give reply; Which gets rid of explanations. Let their silent interfacing Figure what my words should be. * * * * * SCENE V. PAUL. - THE SAME. PAUL [aside]. Eh, sirs! what is this I see? Some one here my wife's embracing. What's to do? I burn, I burst. Kill her? Yes. 'Twas fortune sent me. One thing only doth prevent me, Which is, she might kill me first. PHILIP. For your hospitable care, Beauteous mountaineer, I would That this ring's bright diamond could Far outshine a star of air. LUCY. Think me not a woman who Lives intent her gain to make; But I take it for your sake. PAUL. [aside'. What I wonder should I do? But if I'm her husband, then, As I saw him give the ring, Silence is the proper thing. LUCY. In these arms I once again Give to you my soul, for I Have no other ring or chain. PHILIP. Where I ever could remain:- For such sweet captivity Lures me from the miseries Of remembering my sad fate, Caused, as you have seen, so late, By these crystalline blue seas. PAUL [aside[. What! a new embrace! Halloo! Don't you see, sir, Od's my life, That this woman is my wife? PHILIP. Here's your husband full in view; He has seen us. I must straight Leave you and return - [Aside.} Ah, me! Couldst thou this, Polonia, see, Thou mightst mourn, perhaps, the state Unto which I see me doomed. And. O heaven-aspiring sea, Say in what vast depths can be All the lives thou hast entombed? [Exit. * * * * * SCENE VI. PAUL and LUCY; afterwards PHILIP. PAUL [aside]. As he's gone, I'll louder speak.- This time, Lucy mine, I've caught you, So a present I have brought you: See this window-bar, 'twill wreak My revenge. LUCY. Oh, how malicious! Bless me, grumbler, what grimaces! PAUL. Then to witness two embraces Does not look at all suspicious?- Was it malice, then, in me, Not plain seeing? LUCY. Malice merely: For a husband, how so nearly He may pry, should never see More than half his wife doth do. PAUL. Well, with that I'm quite content, To that condition I assent, And since twice embraced by you Has that rascal soldier been, Whom the sea spewed out in spite, I will juggle with my sight, And pretend but once to have seen; And as I for two embraces Meant to give a hundred blows, I but fifty now propose For one half of my disgraces. I have totted up the score; You yourself the sentence gave; Yes, by God I swear, you'll have Fifty strokes and not one more. LUCY. I've admitted far too much. For a husband it would be Quite preposterous; he should see But the quarter. PAUL. Even as such I acknowledge the appeal. Patience, and your back prepare, For the now admitted share, Five-and-twenty blows you'll feel. LUCY. No, not so; you're still astray. PAUL. Then say what? LUCY. Between us two, You're to trust not what you view, But what I am pleased to say. PAUL. Better far, I think, 'twould be, Daughter of the devil, that you Held the stick and used it too, With it well belabouring me; Is't agreed what I propose? Yes; then let us both change places. Give to him the two embraces, And to me the hundred blows. [PHILIP returns. PHILIP [aside]. Has the peasant gone, I wonder? PAUL. At the nick of time you're here, So, Sir Soldier, lend an ear. Obligation I am under For the favours you have meant To bestow so liberally On my cot, my wife, and me; And although I'm well content With you, yet as you're progressing Day by day and getting stronger, It is best you stay no longer. Take the road, then, with God's blessing, Leave my house, for it would be Sad in it to raise my hand, Leaving you dead flesh on land Who wert living fish at sea. PHILIP. The suspicion that you show Is quite groundless, do not doubt it. PAUL. Zounds! with reason or without it, Am I married, sir, or no? * * * * * SCENE VII. LEOGAIRE, an Old Peasant, and PATRICK. LEOGAIRE. So 'tis ordered, and that he Serving here from day to day, In the open field should stay. OLD MAN. Yes; I say it so shall be. LEOGAIRE. But who's this? O happiness! Since 'tis Philip's form I greet. Mighty lord, I kiss thy feet. PAUL. Mighty lord does he call him? LUCY. Yes. Now lay on the blows you owe. Now, friend Paul, the moment charms. PHILIP. Give me, good Leogaire, your arms. LEOGAIRE. Honour in them you bestow. Is it possible, once more That alive I see thee? PHILIP. Here, Trophy of a fate severe, The sea flung me on this shore, Where, their willing aid secured, I have lived these peasants' guest, Till I could repair with rest All the sufferings I endured. And, besides, I thought with dread On the angry disposition Of the king: for his ambition When has it or bowed the head, Or with patience heard related The sad tragedies of fate? Hopeless and disconsolate In this solitude I've waited, Till some happy chance might rise When no longer I should grieve, And the king would give me leave To appear before his eyes. LEOGAIRE. That already has been given thee; For so sad was he, believing Thou wert dead, so deep his grieving, All the past will be forgiven thee Since thou livest. Come with me, Fortune will once more embrace thee,- In his favour to replace thee Let my happy privilege be. PAUL. For that late unseemly brawl See me humbly bending low; You, my lord Prince Philip, know That I am one Juan Paul. My suspicion and abuse Pray forgive, your majesty, Think that what I said to thee Was but cackled by a goose. At your service, night and day, Are whatever goods I've got - Lucy here, myself and cot; And God bless us all, I pray. PHILIP. For your hospitality I am grateful, and I trust To repay it. PAUL. If you must, Let the first instalment be Just to take my wife away. Thurs you will reward us two; She'll be glad to go with you, I, without her, glad to stay. [Exeunt PHILIP and LEOGAIRE. LUCY [aside]. Was there ever love so vain As is mine, a brief caress Cradled in forgetfulness? OLD MAN. Juan Paul, as we remain Here alone, 'twere well to greet As a friend this labourer, Newly sent us. PATRICK. Nay, good sir, I'm a slave, and I entreat That as such you understand me; I, the lowest of the low, Hither come to serve, and so I implore that you command me As a slave, since I am one. OLD MAN. Oh, what modesty! PAUL. What humility! LUCY. What good looks, too, and gentility! I, in truth, can't help being drawn By his face. PAUL. Came ever here (This is quite between us two) Any wandering stranger who Did not draw you so, my dear? Eh, my Lucy? LUCY. Boorish, base, Is your vile insinuation 'Gains my innocent inclination For the whole of the human race! [Exit. OLD MAN. To your sharpness and good will, Paul, I trust a thing that may Cost my life. PAUL. Then don't delay. Tell it, since you know my skill. OLD MAN. This new slave that here you see, I suspect is not secure, And I hasten to procure Means by which he more may be. For the present I confide him To your care, by day or night Let him not escape your sight, Ever watchful keep beside him. [Exit. * * * * * SCENE VIII. PATRICK and PAUL. PAUL [aside]. I'm to keep what you discarded! Good in faith!- [To PATRICK] Behold in me Your strict guard; in you I see The sole thing I ever guarded In my life; with such a care I can neither sleep nor eat. If you wish to use your feet You can go, your road lies there. Nay, in flying quickly hence You to me a good will do, Since my care will fly with you. Go in peace. PATRICK. With confidence You may trust me, for I'm not, Though a slave, a fugitive. Lord! how gladly do I live In this solitary spot, Where my soul in raptured prayer May adore Thee, or in trance See the living countenance Of Thy prodigies so rare! Human wisdom, earlthly lore, Solitude reveals and reaches; What diviner wisdom teaches In it, too, I would explore. PAUL. Tell me, talking thus apart, Who it is on whom you call? PATRICK. Great primeval cause of all, Thou, O Lord, in all things art! These blue heavens, these crystal skies Formed of dazzling depths of light, In which sun, moon, stars unite, Are they not but draperies Hung before Thy heavenly land?- The discordant elements, Water, fire, earth, air immense, Prove they not Thy master hand? Or in dark or brightsome hours, Praise they not Thy power and might? O'er the earth dost Thou not write In the characters of flowers Thy great goodness? And the air, In reverberating thunder, Does it not in fear and wonder Say, O Lord, that Thou art there? Are not, too, Thy praises sung By the fire and water - each Dowered for this divinest speech, With tongue the wave, the flame with tongue? Here, then, in this lonely place I, O Lord, may better be, Since in all things I find Thee. Thou hast given to me the grace Of Obedience, Faith, and Fear; As a slave, then, let me stay, Or remove me where I may Serve Thee truly, if not here.* [An Angel descends, holding in one hand a shield in which is a mirror, and in the other hand a letter. [footnote] *For the earlier version of this prayer, see Note. * * * * * SCENE IX. An Angel. - THE SAME. ANGEL. Patrick! PATRICK. Ah! who calls me? PAUL. Why, No one calls. [Aside.] The man is daft, Poetry should be his craft. ANGEL. Patrick! PATRICK. Ah! who calls me? ANGEL. I. PAUL [aside]. Who he speaks to, I can't see. Well, to stop his speech were hard, I'm not here his mouth to guard. [Exit. * * * * * SCENE X. The Angel and PATRICK. PATRICK. Ah! it cannot be to me Comes such glory! For, behold! Pearl and rosy dawn in one, Shines a cloud, from which its sun Breaks in crimson and in gold! Living stars its robe adorning, Rose and jasmine sweetly blended, Dazzling comes that vision splendid, Scattering purple pomps of morning. ANGEL. PATRICK! PATRICK. Sunlight strikes me blind! Heavenly Lord, who canst thou be? ANGEL. I am Victor, whom to thee God thy angel-guard assigned: With this scroll, to give it thee [Gives him the letter. I am sent. PATRICK. Sweet messenger, Paranymph of all things fair, Who amidst the hierarchy Of the highest hosts of heaven Singest in melodious tone - "Glory unto Thee alone, Holy, Holy Lord, be given!" ANGEL. Read the letter. PATRICK. With amaze, I see here "To Patrick" Oh, Can a slave be honoured so? ANGEL. Open it. PATRICK. It also says - "Patrick! Patrick! hither come, Free us from our slavery!"- More it means than I can see, Since I do not know by whom I am called. Oh, faithful guide, Speedily dispel my error! ANGEL. Look into this shining mirror. PATRICK. Heavens! ANGEL. What seest thou inside? PATRICK. Numerous people there seem thronging, Old men, children, women, who Seem to call me. ANGEL. Nor do you Stay, but satisfy their longing. You behold the Irish nation, Who expect to hear God's truth From your lips. Oh, chosen youth, Leave your slavery. The vocation God has given thee is to sow Faith o'er all the Irish soil. There as Legate thou shalt toil, Ireland's great Apostle. Go First to France, to German's home, The good bishop: there thou'lt make Thy profession: there thou'lt take The monk's habit, and to Rome Pass, where letters thou'lt procure For that mighty work of thine, In the bulls of Celestine: Thou wilt visit, then, in Tours Martin, the great bishop there. Now upborne upon the wind Come with me, for thou wilt find God has given with prescient care His commands to all, that so Fitly thy great work be done; But 'tis time we should be gone: Let us on our journey go. [They disappear. * * * * * ACT THE SECOND. HALL OF A TOWER IN THE PALACE OF EGERIUS. SCENE I. LUIS and POLONIA LUIS. Yes, Polonia, yes, for he Who betrays inconstancy Has no reason for complaining That another love is gaining On his own; that fault will be Ever punished so. For who Proudly soars that doth not fall? Therefore 'tis that I forestall Philip's love howe'er so true. He is nobler to the view, As one nobly born may be; But in that nobility, Which one's self can win and wear, I with justice may declare I am nobler far than he; I more honour have obtained Than on Philip's cradle rained: Let the fact excuse the boast, For this land from coast to coast Rings with victories I have gained. Three years is it since I came To these isles (it seems a day); Three swift years have rolled away Since I made it my chief aim Thee to serve - my highest fame. Trophies numerous as the sand, Mars might envy, has my hand Won for thy great sire and thee - Being the wonder of the sea, And th' amazement of the land. POLONIA. Luis, yes, thy gallant bearing, Or inherited or acquired, Has within my breast inspired A strange fear, a certain daring,- Ah, I know not if, declaring This, 'tis love, for blushes rise At perceiving with surprise That at last hath come the hour, When my heart must own the power Of a deity I despise. This alone I'll say, that here Long thy hope had been fruition, But that I the disposition Of the king, my father, fear, But still hope and persevere. * * * * * SCENE II. PHILIP. - THE SAME. PHILIP [aside]. If to find my death I come, Why precipitate my doom? But so patient who could be As to not desire to see What impends, how dark its gloom? LUIS. Then, what pledge may I demand Of your faith? POLONIA. This hand. PHILIP. Not so, How to hinder it I shall know; More of this I must withstand. POLONIA. Woe is me! PHILIP. Wilt give thy hand to this outcast of the wave? And, oh thou, to whom pride gave The presumption to aspire To a sun's celestial fire, Knowing that thou wert my slave, Why thus dare to come between Me and mine? LUIS. Because I dare Be what now I am, nor care More to be what I have been. It is true that I was seen Once your slave: for who, indeed, Can the fickle wheel control? But in nobleness of soul The best blood of all your breed I can equal, nay, exceed. PHILIP. Exceed ME? Vile homicide! Wretch . . . . LUIS. In having thus replied You have made a slight mistake. PHILIP. No. LUIS. If such you did not make, You've done worse. PHILIP. Say, what? LUIS. You've lied! PHILIP. Villain! traitor [Strikes him in the face. POLONIA. Oh, ye skies! LUIS. For so many injuries Why not instant vengeance take, When volcanic fires awake In my breast, and hell-flames rise? [They draw their swords. * * * * * SCENE III. EGERIUS and soldiers. - THE SAME. KING. What is this? LUIS. A lasting woe, A misfortune, an abuse, A sharp pain, a fiend let loose From the infernal pit below. Let no one presume to go 'Twixt me and revenge. Reflect, Fury breathes immortal breath, Vengeance has no fear of death, Nor for any man respect. I my honour must protect. KING. Seize him. LUIS. Let the man who sighs For his death obey! You'll see How the boldest fares, for he, Even before your very eyes, Shall be slain. KING. That this should rise!- Follow him. LUIS. In desperate mood, Plunging headlong in red blood, Like a sea both wide and deep, Thus courageously I leap, Seeking Philip through the flood. [All enter fighting. * * * * * SCENE IV. KING. I but wanted this alone After what I've heard, that he Who escaped from slavery, And to distant Rome had flown, Now with purpose too well known, Has to Ireland come again, Where proclaiming the new reign Of the faith, he has enticed Many to believe in Christ, Rending all the world in twain. A magician he must be, Since condemned, so rumour saith, By some other kings to death, He though tied upon the tree In an instant set him free, With such prodigies of wonder That the earth (within whose womb The dead lie as in a tomb) Trembled, the air groaned in thunder, Dark eclipse the sun lay under, Deigning not a single glance Of his radiant countenance To the moon: from which I see That this Patrick, for 'tis he, Lords it over fate and chance; Awe-struck by the prodigy, Fearing they may punished be, Crowds attend him on his way. And 'tis said that he to-day Comes to try his spells on me. Let him come, and once for all Wave in vain his conjuring rod! We shall see who is this God, Whom their God the Christians call. By my hand must Patrick fall, Were it but to see if he Can escape his destiny, Or my will subvert and master, He this Bishop, he this Pastor, He Pope's Legate, though he be. * * * * * SCENE V. The Captain, Soldiers, LUIS a prisoner, The King. CAPTAIN. Luis, sire, without delay We secured; but not before He killed three, and wounded more, Of our company. KING. Christian, say, Why do you no fear display, Seeing now in angry mood My hand raised to shed your blood? But in vain do I deplore, Since he this deserves and more Who has done a Christian good. Gifts, not chastisement, should be Thine to-day, for it is plain It is I should feel the pain For conferring good on thee. Take him hence, and presently Let him die; and be it known Why from him has mercy flown. 'Tis not for his crimes or guilt That this Christian's blood is spilt, 'Tis for Christ's belief alone. [Exeunt. * * * * * * SCENE VI. LUIS. LUIS. If for this I die, to me Thou the happiest death allottest, Since he for his God will die, He who dies to do Him honour. And a man whose life is here But a round of cares and crosses, Should be grateful unto death As the end of all his sorrows; Since it comes the tangled thread Of a wretched life to shorten, Which to-day the evil Phoenix Of its works that now prove mortal Would revive amid the ashes Of my wrong and my dishonour. Then my life, my breath were poison, Venom would my breast but foster, Until I had shed in Ireland Blood in such a copious torrent, That though base it might wash out The remembrance of my wronger. Ah, my honour, low thou liest, By a ruthless foot down trodden!- I will die with thee, united We two will together conquer These barbarians. Then since little, But a span at best, belongeth To my life, a noble vengeance Let this dagger take upon me!- But, good God! what evil impulse With demoniac instinct prompteth Thus my hand? I am a Christian, I've a soul, and share the godly Light of faith: then were it right, 'Mid a crowd of Gentile mockers, Thus the Christian faith to tarnish By an action so improper? What example would I give them By a death so sad and shocking, Save that I thus gave the lie To the works that Patrick worketh. Since they'd say, who worship only Their own vices most immodest, Who deny unto the soul Its eternal joy or torment, "Of what use is Patrick's preaching That man's soul must be immortal, If the Christian, Luis Enius, Kills himself? He can't acknowledge Its eternal life who'd lose it."- Thus with actions so discordant, He the light and I the shadow, We would neutralize each other. 'Tis enough to be so wicked As even now to feel no sorrow, No repentance for past sins, Rather a desire for others. Yes, by God! for if escape Fortune now my life would offer, Europe, Africa, and Asia I would fill with fear and horror; First exacting here the debt Of a vengeance so enormous, That these islands of Egerius Would not hold a single mortal Who should not appease the thirst, The insatiable longing That I have for blood. The lightning, When it bursts its prison portals, Warns us in a voice of thunder, And then 'twixt dark smoke and forked Fires that take the shape of serpents, Fills the trembling air with horror. I, too, gave that thunder voice, So that all men heard the promise, But the lightning bolt was wanting. Yes, ah me! it proved abortive, And before it touched the earth Was by dallying winds made sport of. No, it is not death that grieves me, Even a death of such dishonour, 'Tis because at last are ended, In my youth's fresh opening blossom, My offences. Life I wish for To begin from this day forward Greater and more dread excesses. Heavens! 'tis for no other object. * * * * SCENE VII. POLONIA. - LUIS. POLONIA [aside] (Now with mind made up I come.) Luis, an occasion offers Ever as the test and touchstone Of true love. By certain knowledge Have I learned the imminent danger Of thy life. The wrath grows hotter Of my father, and his fury To evade is most important. All the guards that here are with thee Has my liberal hand suborned, So that at the clink of gold Have their ears grown deaf and torpid. Fly! and that thou mayest see How a woman's heart can prompt her, How her honour she can trample, How her self-respect leave prostrate, With thee I will go, since now It is needful that henceforward I in life and death am thine, For without thee life were worthless, Thou who in my heart dost live. I bring with me gems and money Quite enough to the most distant Parts of India to transport us, Where the sun with beams and shadows Scatters frost, or burning scorches. At the door two steeds are standing, I should rather call these horses Two swift lynxes, air-born creatures, Thoughts by liveliest minds begotten; They so rapid are, that though We as fugitives fly on them, An assurance of our safety We shall feel. At once resolve then. Why thus ponder? what delays thee? Time is pressing, therefore shorten All discourse; and that mischance, Which disturbs love's plans so often, May not offer an obstruction To so well-prepared a project, First before thee I will go. Issue, while in specious converse I divert thy guards, and give To thy coming forth a cover. Even the sun our project favours, Which amid the west waves yonder, Sinking, dips his golden curls To refresh his glowing forehead. [Exit. * * * * * SCENE VIII. LUIS. LUIS. A most opportune occasion To my hands has fortune offered; Since Heaven knows that all the show Of apparent love and fondness Which I proffered to Polonia Was assumed, it being my object She should go with me, where I, Seizing on the gold and costly Gems she carries, so might issue From this Babylonian bondage. For although in my person Was esteemed and duly honoured, Still 'twas slavery after all, And my free wild life was longing For that liberty, heaven's best gift, Which I had enjoyed so often. But a great embarrassment And a hindrance were a woman For the end I have in view, Since in me is love a folly That ne'er passes appetite, Which being satisfied, no longer Care I for a woman's presence, How so fair or so accomplished. And since thus my disposition Is so free, of what importance Is a murder more or less? At my hands must die Polonia For her loving at a time When there's no one loved or honoured. Had she loved as others love, Then she would have lived as others. [Exit. * * * * * SCENE IX. The Captain; then The King, PHILIP, and LEOGAIRE. CAPTAIN. The sad sentence of his death Have I come, by the king's orders, Here to read to Luis Enius.- But what's this? The door lies open, And the tower deserted. Ha! Soldiers! No one answers. Ho, there! Guards, come hither, treason! treason! [Enter The King, PHILIP, and LEOGAIRE. KING. Why these outcries? this commotion? What is this? CAPTAIN. That Luis Enius Has escaped, and from the fortress All the guards have fled. LEOGAIRE. My lord, I saw entering here Polonia. PHILIP. Heavens! beyond all doubt 'twas she Who released him. That her lover He dared call him, you well know. Jealousy and rage provoke me To pursue them. A new Troy Will to-day be Ireland's story. [Exit. KING. Give me, too, a horse; in person I these fugitives will follow. Ah, what Christians are these two Who with actions so discordant, One deprives me of my rest, And the other robs my honour? But the twain shall feel the weight Of my vengeful hands fall on them; For not safe from me would be Even their sovereign Roman Pontiff. [Exeunt. * * * * * SCENE X. A WOOD, AT WHOSE EXTREMITY IS PAUL'S CABIN. POLONIA flying wounded, and LUIS with a naked dagger in his hand. POLONIA. Oh, hold thy bloody hand! Though love be dead, let Christian faith command. My honour take; but, oh, my poor life spare, That suppliant at thy feet pours out its humble prayer. LUIS. Hapless Polonia, since creation's hour Beauty has ever one unvarying dower, It brings misfortune with it, it is this Makes beauty rarely live long time with bliss. I, who less pity feel Than any headsman who e'er held death's steel, May by thy death procure My life, since with it I will go secure. If thee I bring where fortune's hand may guide me I bring the witness of my woes beside me, By whom they may pursue me, Track me, discover me, in fact, undo me If here I leave thee living, I leave thee angry, vengeful, unforgiving; Leave thee, in fact, to be One enemy more (and what an enemy!); Thus equally I grieve thee, Thus evil do whether I take or leave thee; And so 'tis better thus, That I a wretch, cruel and infamous, False, impious, fierce, abandoned, wicked, banned By God and man, should slay thee by my hand, Since buried here, Within the rustic entrails dark and drear Of this rude realm of stone, My worst misfortune shall remain unknown. My fury, too, shall gain A novel kind of vengeance when thou'rt slain, Remaining satisfied That Philip, too, by the same stroke has died, If in thy heart he lived; and then mine ire Will need no victim more except thy sire. Through thee first came My first disgrace, the cause of all my shame, And so the first of all On thee my vengeful strokes shall furious fall. POLONIA. Ah me! my fate pursuing, I have but only worked my own undoing, Like to the worm that by its subtle art Spins its own grave. Hast thou a human heart? LUIS. I am a demon. So to prove it, die. Thus - POLONIA. God of Patrick, listen to my cry! [He stabs her several times, and she falls within. LUIS. She fell on flowers, there sowing Both lives and horrors in her blood outflowing. Thus now with greater ease I can escape, and carry o'er the seas, In many a gem and chain, Treasure enough to make me rich in Spain, Until so changed by time, Disguised by wandering in a foreign clime, I may return to reap My vengeance; for a wrong doth never sleep. But whither do I stray, Treading the shades of death in this dark way? My path is lost: I go Whither I do not know; Perchance escaping from my prison bands To fall again into my tyrant's hands. If the dark night doth not my sight deceive, Yonder a rustic cabin I perceive. Yes, I am right. I'll knock; I can't much err, They'll know the way. [He knocks. * * * * * SCENE XI. PAUL and LUCY. - LUIS. LUCY [within]. Who's there? LUIS. A traveller, Benighted, his way lost, confused, distressed, Good worthy husbandman, disturbs thy rest. LUCY [within]. Ho, Juan! how you snore! Awake! there's some one knocking at the door. PAUL [within]. Why, I am well enough here in my bed. He knocks for you, so answer him instead. LUCY [within]. Who's there? LUIS. A traveller, I say. PAUL [within]. A traveller? LUIS. Yes. PAUL [within]. Then travel on, I pray. This cabin is no inn, sir, not a bit. LUIS. I'm getting weary of this fellow's wit. I'll try what kicking in the door will do. [Drives in the door. Ay, there it goes. LUCY [within]. Why, Juan Paul, halloo! Awake, I say, for if I don't mistake, The door's knocked in. PAUL [within]. Well, one eye is awake, But underneath its lid the other's laid.- Come with me, Lucy, for I'm sore afraid. [Enter PAUL and LUCY. Who's there? LUIS. Be silent, peasants, and attend If you would not that now your lives should end. Lost in this woodland waste I sought your door; and so, my friend, make haste To tell me the best way From this to the port, where I by break of day May from the coast get clear. PAUL. Go right ahead: first take the pathway here, They left, then right again, Rise where there's hill, descend where there's a plain, And going thus, in short, The port you'll reach when you have reached the port. LUIS. 'Tis better that you come Along with me, or by the heavens o'erhead, Your blood shall stain the ground on which you tread. LUCY. Were it not better, cavalier, To pass the night here till the dawn appear? PAUL. How very kind you are when least expected! Are you already to this knight infected? LUIS. Choose now, at once, I say, To die or guide me. PAUL. Don't be vexed, I pray; If I without more haggling or vain clack Select to go, and carry you on my back, If so you chose, 'tis not that death I fear, But just to disappoint my Lucy here. LUIS [aside]. That he may not betray Whither I go, to those who track my way, Him from some cliff I'll throw Headlong amid the icy waves below.- [To LUCY. You with this consolation here remain Your husband will be with you soon again. [Exeunt the two at one side, and she at the other. * * * * * SCENE XII. The King EGERIUS, LESBIA, LEOGAIRE, The Captain; afterwards PHILIP. LESBIA. Not a trace of them is found; All the mountain, hill and valley, Leaf by leaf has been explored, Bough by bough has been examined, Rock by rock has been searched through, Still no clue wherewith to track them Can we light on. KING. Without doubt, To preserve them from my anger, Has the earth engulphed the two; For not heaven itself could guard them From my wrath if still they lived. LESBIA. See the sun his disentangled Golden tresses far extends Over mountains, groves and gardens, Showing that the day hath come. [Enter PHILIP. PHILIP. Deign, your majesty, to hearken To a tragedy more dreadful, To a crime more unexampled Than has time or fortune ever Yet recorded in earth's annals. Seeking traces of Polonia Through these savage woods distracted Roamed I restless all the night-time, Till at length and amid the darkness Half awakened rose the dawn; Not in veils of gold and amber Was she dressed, a robe of mourning Formed of clouds composed her mantle, And with discontented light Hidden were the stars and planets, Though for this one time alone They were happy in their absence. Searching there in every part, We approached where blood was spattered On the tender dewy flower, And upon the ground some fragments of a woman's dress were strewn. By these signs at once attracted, We went on, 'till at the foot Of a great rock overhanging, In a fragrant tomb of roses Lay Polonia, dead and stabbed there. * * * * * SCENE XIII. POLONIA dead; and afterwards PATRICK. - THE SAME. PHILIP. Turn your eyes, and here you see The young tree of beauty blasted, Pale and sad the opening flower, The bright flame abruptly darkened; See here loveliness laid prostrate, See warm life here turned to marble, See, alas! Polonia dead. KING. Philip, cease! proceed no farther! For I have not resignation To bear up with any calmness 'Gainst so many forms of wrong, 'Gainst so many shapes of sadness, 'Gainst such manifold misfortunes. Ah, my daughter! Ah, thou hapless Treasure fatally found for me! LESBIA. Grief my feeling so o'ermasters That I have not breath to mourn. Ah! of all thy woes the partner Let thy wretched sister be! KING. What rude hand in ruffian anger Raised its bloody steel against Beauty so divinely fashioned? Sorrow, sorrow ends my life. PATRICK [within]. Woe to thee, sin-stained Irlanda! Woe to thee, unhappy people! If with tears thou dost not water The hard earth, and night and day Weeping in thy bitter anguish, Ope the golden gates of heaven Which thy disobedience fastened. Woe to thee, unhappy people! Woe to thee, sin-stained Irlanda! KING. Heavens! what mournful tones are these? What are these sad solemn accents That transpierce my very heart, That cut through me like a dagger? Learn who thus disturbs the flowing Of my grief's most tender channels. Who but I should so lament? Who but I should wail thus sadly? LEOGAIRE. This, my lord, is Patrick, who Having as you know, departed From this country went to Rome, Where the Pontiff, the great father, Made him bishop, and a post Of pre-eminence imparted To him here; through all the islands He proceedeth in this manner. [PATRICK enters. PATRICK. Woe to thee, unhappy people! Woe to thee, sin-stained Irlanda! KING. Patrick, thou who thus my grief Interrupted, and my sadness Doubled with thy golden words, Hiding false and poisonous matter, Why thus persecute me? Wherefore Thus disturb the hills and valleys Of my kingdom with deceptions And new-fangled laws and maxims? Here we know but this alone, We are born and die. Our fathers Left us this, the simple doctrine Taught by nature, and no farther Have we sought to learn. What God Can be this, of whom such marvels You relate, who life eternal Gives when temporal life departeth? Can the soul, when it is severed From the body, be so active As to have another life, Or of bale or bliss, hereafter? PATRICK. Being loosened from the body, And the human portion having Given to nature, it being only But a little dust and ashes, Then the spirit upward rises, To the higher sphere attracted, Where its labours find their centre, If it dies in grace, which baptism First confers upon the soul, And then penance ever after. KING. Then this beauteous one, that here Lies in her own blood bedabbled, There, is living at this moment? PATRICK. Yes. KING. A sign, a proof, then, grant me Of this truth. PATRICK [aside]. Almighty Lord! For Thy glory deign to hearken! It behoveth Thee to show Here Thy power by an example. KING. What! you do not answer? PATRICK. Heaven Wishes for itself to answer.- In the name of God, O corse, [He extends his hands over the dead body of POLONIA. Lying stiff here, I command thee To arise and live, resuming Thine own soul, and thus make patent This great truth, before us preaching The true doctrine and evangel. POLONIA [arising]. Woe is me! Oh, save me, heaven! Ah, what secrets are imparted To the soul! O Lord! O Lord! Stay the red hand of Thy anger, Of Thy justice. Do not threaten, 'Gainst a woman weak and abject, The dread thunders of Thy rigour, Of Thy power the lightning's flashes. Where, oh, where shall I conceal me From Thy countenance, if haply Thou art wroth? Ye rocks, he mountains, Fall upon and overcast me. Hating mine own self, to-day Would that to my prayer 'twas granted In the centre of the earth From Thy sight to hide and mask me! Ah, but why? if wheresoever My unhappy fate might cast me There I brought with me my sin? See ye, see ye not this Atlas Back recede, and this huge mountain Tremble to its base? The axes Of the firmament are loosened, And its perfect fabric hangeth Threatening ruin o'er my head, With terrific pride and grandeur. Darker grows the air around me, Chained, my feet proceed no farther, Even the seas retire before me. What, here fly me not nor startle, Are the wild beasts, which to rend me Bit by bit come on to attack me. Mercy, mighty Lord, oh, mercy! Pardon, gracious Lord, oh, pardon! Holy baptism I implore, That in grace I may depart hence. Mortals, hear, oh, mortals hear, Christ is living, Christ is master, Christ is god, the one true God! Penance, penance, penance practice! [Exit. * * * * * SCENE XIV. THE SAME, with the exception of POLONIA. PHILIP. How prodigious! CAPTAIN. How stupendous! LESBIA. What a miracle! LEOGAIRE. What a marvel! KING. What enchantment! what bewitchment! Who can bear this? who can grant this? ALL. Christ is God, the one true God. KING. What a bold deceit is practised Here, blind people, to deceive you, In the making of these marvels, Which you have not sense to see Are in outward show but acted And within are fraud! However, That the truth be now established, I will own myself convinced, If in argument shall Patrick Prove his case: and so attend As the grave dispute advances. If the soul was made immortal It could never be inactive Even for a single moment. PATRICK. Yes; and every dream that passes Proves this truth; because the dreams That engender numerous phantoms Are discourses of the soul That ne'er sleeps, and as these shadows Simulate the imperfect actions Of the senses, a strange language And imperfect is produced; And 'tis thus that in their trances Men dream things that are at once Inconsistent and fantastic. KING. Well, then, this being so, I ask Was Polonia when this happened Dead or not? For if but only In a swoon, what mighty marvel, Then, was done? But this I pass. If she really had departed, Then to one of the two places, Heaven or hell, so named, O Patrick, By yourself, it must have gone. If it was in heaven, 'twas hardly Merciful in God to send it Back into this world, to hazard A new chance of condemnation, When 'twas once in grace and happy. This is surely true. If, likewise, It had been in hell, 'tis adverse To strict justice, since it were not Just that that which by its badness Once had earned such punishment, Should again be given the chances Of regaining grace. It must, I presume, be taken as granted That God's justice and His mercy Cannot possibly be parted. Where, I ask then, was her soul? PATRICK. Hear, Egerius, the answer. I concede that for the soul, Sanctified by holy baptism, Heaven or hell must be its goal, Out of which, by God's commandment, Speaking of His usual power, It can never more be absent. But if of His absolute power There is question, God could drag it Even from hell itself; but this Is not what we have to argue. That the soul doth go to either Of those places, must be granted When 'tis severed from the body Once for all by mortal absence To return to it no more; But when otherwise commanded To it to return, it waiteth In a certain state of passage, And remains as 'twere suspended In the universe, not having Any special place allotted. For the Almighty mind forecasting All things, when from out His essence, As th' exemplar, the fair pattern Of His thought, this glorious fabric He brought forth to light and gladness, Saw this very incident, And well knowing what would happen, That this soul would here return, Kept it for awhile inactive, Seemingly unfixed, yet fixed. This is the authentic answer That theology, that sacred Science, gives to what you have asked me. But another point remaineth: There are other places, mark me, Both of glory and of pain, Than you think; and of these latter One is called the Purgatory, Where the soul of him who haply Dies in grace, is purged from stains, Sinful stains which it contracted In the world: for into heaven None can pass till these are cancelled. And thus, there 'tis purified, Cleansed by fire from all that tarnished, Till to God's divinest presence Pure and clean at length it passes. KING. So you say, and I have nothing To confirm what you advance here But your word. Some proof now give me, Give me something I can handle, Something tangible to convince me Of this truth, that I may grasp it, And know what it is. And since So much power and influence have you With your God, implore His grace, That I may believe the faster, Some material fact to give me, Something that we all can grapple, Not mere creatures of the mind. And remember that at farthest But an hour remains in which You must give me sure and ample Signs of punishment and glory, Or you die. These mighty marvels Of your God here let them come, Where the truth we can examine For ourselves. And if we neither Heaven or hell deserve to have here, Show us, then, this Purgatory, Which is different from the latter, So that here we all may know His omnipotence and grandeur. Mind, God's honour rests upon you, Tell Him to defend and guard it. [Exeunt all but PATRICK. * * * * * SCENE XV. PATRICK. PATRICK. Here, mighty Lord, dart down thy searching glance, Arm'd with the dreadful lightnings of Thine ire, Wing'd with Thy vengeance, as the bolt with fire, And rout the squadrons of fell ignorance: Come not in pity to the hostile band, Treat not as friends Thy enemies abhorr'd, But since they ask for portents, mighty Lord, Come with the blood-red lightnings in Thy hand. Of old Elias asked with burning sighs For chastisement, and Moses did display Wonders and portents; in the self-same way Listen, O Lord, to my beseeching cries, And though I be not great or good as they, Still let my accents pierce the listening skies! Portents and chastisement, both day and night I ask, O Lord, may from Thy hand be given, That Purgatory, Hell and Heaven, May be revealed unto these mortals' sight. * * * * * SCENE XVI. A Good Angel at one side, and on the other a Bad Angel. - PATRICK. BAD ANGEL [to himself]. Fearful that the favouring skies May accede to Patrick's prayer, And discover to him where Earth's most wondrous treasure lies, Like a minister of light, Full of scorn, I hither fly It to chill and nullify. Covering with my poison blight His petition. GOOD ANGEL. Then give o'er, Cruel monster; for in me His protecting angel see. But be silent, speak no more.- [to him. Patrick, God has heard Thy prayer, He has listen'd to thy vows, And, as thou hast asked, allows Earth's great secrets to lie bare. Seek along this island ground For a vast and darksome cave, Which restrains the lake's dark wave. And supports the mountains round; He who dares to go therein, Having first contritely told All his faults, shall there behold Where the soul is purged from sin. He shall see, with mortal eyes, Hell itself, where those who die In their sins for ever lie In the fire that never dies. He shall see, in blest fruition, Where the happy spirits dwell. But of this be sure as well - He who without due contrition Enters there to idly try What the cave may be, doth go To his death; he'll suffer woe, While the Lord doth reign on high, Who thy soul this day shall free From this poor world's weariness. It is thus that God doth bless Those who love His name like thee. He shall grant to thee in pity, Bliss undreamed by mortal men, Making thee a denizen Of His own celestial city. He shall to the world proclaim His omnipotence and glory, By the wondrous Purgatory Which shall bear thy sainted name. Lest thou think the promise vain Of this miracle divine, I will take this shape malign, Which came hither to profane Thy devotion, and within This dark cavern's dark abyss Fling it,- there to howl and hiss In the everlasting din. [They disappear. PATRICK. Glory, glory unto Thee, Mighty Lord; the heavens proclaim, Miracles attest Thy name, Wonders show that Thou must be.- [Calling. King! * * * * * SCENE XVII. The King, PHILIP, LESBIA, LEOGAIRE, The Captain, People. - PATRICK. KING. What would'st thou? PATRICK. Come with me Through this mountain woodland drear, Thou and all thy followers here, Thou and they shall see therein The dark place reserved for sin, And rewards delightful sphere. They shall have a passing view Of a sight no tongue can tell, An unending miracle, To whose greatness shall be due Their amazement ever new Who its secrets shall unveil. Yes, a perfect image pale In the wonders guarded here, Shall they see with awe and fear, Of the realms of bliss and bale. [Exit, followed by all. * * * * * SCENE XVIII. A REMOTE PART OF THE MOUNTAIN WITH THE MOUTH OF A HORRIBLE CAVE. THE SAME. KING. Look, O Patrick, for you go Turning towards a part forbidden, Where the light of the sun is hidden Even in the noon-tide's glow. Through this wilderness of woe Even the hunter in pursuit Of his prey ne'er placed a foot On its trackless wild walks green, Since for ages it has been Shunned alike by man and brute. PHILIP. We for many and many a year, Who have lived here from our youth, Never dared to learn the truth Of the secrets hidden here; For the entrance did appear In itself enough to make Even the bravest heart to quake. No one yet has dared to brave The wild rocks that guard this cave, Or the waters of this lake. KING. And for auguries we heard, Borne the troubled wind along, Oft the sad funereal song Of some lone nocturnal bird. PHILIP. Be the rash attempt deferred. PATRICK. Let not causeless fear arise; For a treasure of the skies Here is hidden. KING. What is fear? Could it ever me come near In an earthquake's agonies? No; for though the flames should break As from some sulphureous lake, And the mountains' sides run red From the molten fires outshed, They could ne'er my courage shake, Never make me fear. * * * * * SCENE XIX. POLONIA. - THE SAME. POLONIA. Oh, stay, Wandering from the path astray, Hapless crowd, rash, indiscreet, Turn away your erring feet, For misfortune lies that way. Here from myself with hurried footsteps flying, I dared to treat this wilderness profound, Beneath the mountain whose proud top defying The pure bright sunbeam is with huge rocks crowned, Hoping that here, as in its dark grave lying, Never my sin could on the earth be found, And I myself might find a port of peace Where all the tempests of the world might cease. No polar star had hostile fate decreed me, As on my perilous path I dared to stray, So great its pride, no hand presumed to lead me, And guide my silent footstep on its way. Not yet the aspect of the place has freed me From the dread terror, anguish and dismay, Which were awakened by this mountain's gloom, And all the hidden wonders of its womb. See ye not here this rock some power secureth, That grasps with awful toil the hill-side brown, And with the very anguish it endureth Age after age seems slowly coming down? Suspended there with effort, it obscureth A mighty cave beneath, which it doth crown;- An open mouth the horrid cavern shapes, Wherewith the melancholy mountain gapes.* [footnote] * "But I remember, Two miles on this side of the fort, the road Crosses a deep ravine; 'tis rough and narrow, And winds with short turns down the precipice; And in its depth there is a mighty rock Which has from unimaginable years, Sustained itself with terror and with toil Over the gulf, and with the agony With which it clings seems slowly coming down; Even as a wretched soul hour after hour Clings to the mass of life: yet, clinging, leans; And leaning, makes more dark the dread abyss In which it fears to fall. Beneath this crag, Huge as despair, as if in weariness The melancholy mountain yawns."-THE CENCI. Shelly says, "An idea in this speech was suggested by a most sublime passage in 'El Purgatorio de San Patricio' of Calderon." The same idea is to be found in "Amor despues de la Muerte," "Los dos amantes del Cielo," and other dramas of Calderon. [end of footnote] This, then, by mournful cypress trees surrounded, Between the lips of rocks at either side, Reveals a monstrous neck of length unbounded, Whose tangled hair is scantily supplied By the wild herbs that there the wind hath grounded, A gloom whose depths no sun has ever tried, A space, a void, the gladsome day's affright, The fatal refuge of the frozen night. I wished to enter there, to make my dwelling Within the cave; but here my accents fail, My troubled voice, against my will rebelling. Doth interrupt so terrible a tale.- What novel horror, all the past excelling, Must I relate to you, with cheeks all pale, Without cold terror on my bosom seizing, And even my voice, my breath, my pulses freezing? I scarcely had o'ercome my hesitation, And gone within the cavern's vault profound, When I heard wails of hopeless lamentation, Despairing shrieks that shook the walls around, Curses, and blasphemy, and desperation, Dark crimes avowed that would even hell astound, Which heaven, I think, in order not to hear, Had hid within this prison dark and drear. Let him come here who doubts what I am telling, Let him here bravely enter who denies, Soon shall he hear the sounds of dreadful yelling, Soon shall the horrors gleam before his eyes. For me, my voice is hushed, my bosom swelling, Pants now with terror, now with strange surprise. Nor is it right that human tongue should dare High heaven's mysterious secrets to lay bare. PATRICK. This cave, O king, which here you see, concealeth The mysteries of life as well as death: Not, I should say, for him whose bosom feeleth No true repentance, or no real faith; But he who boldly enters, who revealeth His sins, confessing them with penitent breath, Shall see them all forgiven, his conscience clear, And have alive his Purgatory here. KING. And dost thou think, O Patrick, that I owe My blood so little, as to yield to dread, And trembling fear like a weak woman show? Say, who shall be the first this cave to tread? What silent! Philip? PHILIP. Sire, I dare not go. KING. Then, Captain, thou? CAPTAIN. Enough to strike me dead Is even the thought. KING. Leogaire, thou'lt surely dare? LEOGAIRE. The heavens, my lord, themselves exclaim forbear! KING. O cowards, lost to every sense of shame, Unfit to gird the warrior's sword around Your shrinking loins! Men are ye but in name. Well, I myself shall be the first to sound The depths of this enchantment, and proclaim Unto this Christian that my heart unawed Nor dreads his incantations nor his God! [Egerius advances to the cave, and on entering sinks into it with much noise, flames rise from below, and many voices are heard. POLONIA. How terrible! LEOGAIRE. How awful! PHILIP. What a wonder! CAPTAIN. The earth is breathing out its central fire. [Exit. LEOGAIRE. The axes of the sky are burst asunder. [Exit. POLONIA. The heavens are loosening their collected ire. {Exit. LESBIA. The earth doth quake, and peals the sullen thunder. [Exit. PATRICK. O, mighty Lord, who will not now admire Thy wondrous works? [Exit. PHILIP. Oh! who that's not insane Will enter Patrick's Purgatory again? [Exit. * * * * * ACT THE THIRD. A STREET. IT IS NIGHT. SCENE I. JUAN PAUL, dressed ridiculously as a soldier, and LUIS ENIUS, very pensive. PAUL. Yes, the day would come I knew, After long procrastination, When a word of explanation I should ask to have with you. "Come with me," you said. Though dark, Off I trudged with heavy heart To point out to you the part Where at morn you could embark; Then again, with thundering voice, Thus you spoke, "Where I must fly Choose to come with me, or die." And, since you allowed a choice, Of two ills I chose the worst, Which, sir, was to go with you. As your shadow then I flew 'Cross the sea to England first, Then to Scotland, then to France then to Italy and Spain, Round the world and back again, As in some fantastic dance. Not a country great or small Could escape you, 'till, good lack! Here we are in Ireland back:- Now, sir, I, plain Juan Paul, Being perplexed to know what draws You here now, with beard and hair Grown so long, your speech, your air, Changed so much, would ask the cause Why you these disguises wear? You by day ne'er leave the inn, But when cold night doth begin You a thousand follies dare, Without bearing this in mind, That we now are in a land Wholly changed from strand to strand, Where, in fact, we nothing find As we left it. The old king Died despairing, and his heir, Lesbia, now the crown doth wear, For her sister, hapless thing! Poor Polonia . . . . LUIS. Oh, that name Do not mention! do not kill me By repeating what doth thrill me To the centre of my frame As with lightning. Yes, I know That at length Polonia died. PAUL. Yes; our host was at her side (He himself has told me so) When they found her dead, and . . . . LUIS. Cease! Of her death, oh! speak no more, 'Tis sufficient to deplore, And to pray that she's at peace. PAUL. Leaving heathen sin and crime, All the people far and near Are become good Christians here. For one Patrick, who some time Now is dead . . . . LUIS. Is Patrick dead? PAUL. So I from our host have heard. LUIS [aside]. Badly have I kept my word!- But proceed. PAUL. The teaching spread Of the faith of Christ, and gave, As a proof complete and whole Of the eternity of the soul, The discovery of a cave.- Oh! it's the very name doth send Terror through me. LUIS. Yes, I have heard Of that cave, and every word Made my hair to stand on end. Those who in the neighbourhood Dwell, see wonders every day. PAUL. Since, 'mid terror and dismay, In your melancholy mood You will no one hear or see, Ever locked within your room, It is plain you have not come Aught to learn, how strange they be, Of these things. It doth appear Other work you are about. Satisfy my foolish doubt, And say why we have come here. LUIS. to your questions thus I yield: Yes, I forced you, as you mention, From your house, and my intention Was to kill you in the field; But I thought it best instead You to make my steps attend As my comrade and my friend, Shaking off the mortal dread Which forbad me to endure Any stranger, and in fine, That your arms being joined with mine, I might feel the more secure. Many a land, both far and near, Passing through you fared right well; And now answering I will tell Why it is that we come here. And 'tis this: I come to slay Here a man who did me wrong, 'Tis for this I pass along, Muffled in this curious way, Hiding country, dress, and name; And the night suits best for me, For my powerful enemy Can the first position claim In the land. Since I avow Why I hither have been led, Listen now how I have sped In my project until now. I three days ago was brought To this city in disguise, For two nights, beneath the skies, I my enemy have sought In his street and at his door; Twice a muffled figure came And disturbed me in my aim, Twice he called and stalked before Him I followed in the street; But when I the figure neared, Suddenly he disappeared As if wings were on his feet. I this third night have brought you, That should this mysterious shape Come again, he sha'nt escape, Being caught between us two; Who he is we then can see. PAUL. Two? who are they? LUIS. You and I. PAUL. I'm not one. LUIS. Not one? How? Why? PAUL. No, sir, no. I cannot be One, nor half a one. These stories Faith! would frighten fifty Hectors; What know I of Lady Spectres, Or of Lord Don Purgatories? All through life I've kept aloof From the other world's affairs, Shunning much superfluous cares; But, my courage put to proof, Bid me face a thousand men, And if I don't cut and run From the thousand, nay, from one, Never trust to me again. For I think it quite a case Fit for Bedlam, if so high, That a man would rather die, Than just take a little race. Such a trifle! Sir, to me Life is precious; leave me here, Where you'd find me, never fear. LUIS. Here's the house; to-night I'll be, Philip, your predestined fate. Now we'll see if heaven pretends To defend him, and defends.- Watch here, you, beside the gate. * * * * * SCENE II. A Muffled Figure. - LUIS and PAUL. PAUL. There's no need to watch, for hither Some one comes. LUIS. A lucky mortal Am I, if the hour draws nigh That will two revenges offer.* Since this night there then will be Naught to interrupt my project, Slaying first this muffled figure And then Philip. Slow and solemn Comes this man again. I know him By his gait. But whence this horror That comes o'er me as I see him, This strange awe that chills, that shocks me? [footnote] *Asonante in o - e to the end of Scene VIII. THE FIGURE. Luis Enius! LUIS. Sir, I've seen you Here the last two nights; your object? If you call me, wherefore fly thus? If 'tis me you seek, why mock me By retiring? THE FIGURE. Follow me, Then you'll know my name. LUIS. I'm stopped here In this street by a little business.- To be quite alone imports me.- Wherefore first by killing you I'll be free to kill another [He draws his sword, but merely cuts the air. Draw, then, draw your sword or not, Thus the needful path I shorten To two acts of vengeance. Heavens! I but strike the air, cut nothing, Sever nothing else. Quick! Paul, Stop him as he stalks off yonder, Near to you. PAUL. I'm bad at stopping. LUIS. Then your footsteps I will follow Everywhere, until I learn Who you are. [Aside.] (In vain his body Do I strive to pierce. Oh, heavens! Lightnings flash from off my sword here; But in no way can I touch him, As if sword and arm were shortened.) [Exit following the figure, striking at it without touching it. * * * * * SCENE III. PHILIP. - PAUL. PAUL [aside]. God be with you both! But scarce Has one vanished, when another Comes to haunt me. Why, I'm tempted By strange phantoms and hobgoblins Like another San Antonio:- In this doorway I'll ensconce me, Till my friend here kindly passes. PHILIP. Love, ambitious, bold, deep-plotted, With the favours of a kingdom Me thou mak'st a prosperous lover. To the desert fled Polonia, Where, mid savage rocks and forests, Citizen of mighty mountains, Islander of lonely grottoes, She doth dwell, to Lesbia leaving Crown and kingdom; through a stronger Greed than love I Lesbia court,- For a queen is worth my homage. From her trellis I have come, From a sweet and pleasant converse. But, what's this? Each night I stumble On a man here at my doorstep. Who is there? PAUL [aside]. To me he's coming. Why on earth should every goblin Pounce on me? PHILIP. Sir, Caballero. PAUL. These are names I don't acknowledge; He can't speak to ME. PHILIP. This house Is my home. PAUL. Which I don't covet; May you for an age enjoy it, Without billets. PHILIP. If important Business in this street detains you (Not a word whereon I offer), Give me room that I may pass. PAUL [aside]. Somewhat timid, though quite proper, Goblins can be cowards too.- Yes, sir, for a certain office I am here; go in, and welcome; I no gentleman would stop here Bound for bed, nor is it right. PHILIP. The condition I acknowledge.- [Aside. Well, fine spectres, to be sure, Haunt this street: each night I notice That a man here comes before me, But when I approach him softly, Hereabouts on my own threshold, I, as now, have always lost him. But what matters this to me? [Exit. [PAUL draws his sword and makes several flourishes. PAUL. As he's gone, the right and proper Thing is this:- Stay, stay, cold shadow, Whether you're a ghost or ghostess, I can't reach it. Why, by heaven! Air alone I cut and chop here. But if this is he we wait for In the night-time like two blockheads Faith! he is a lucky fellow To have got to bed so promptly. But another noise I hear Sounding from that dark street yonder. 'Tis of swords and angry voices:- There I run to reconnoitre. [Exit. * * * * * SCENE IV. ANOTHER STREET. The Muffled Figure and LUIS. LUIS. Sir, already we have issued From that street; if aught there stopped us, We are here alone, and may Hand to hand resume the combat. And since powerless is my sword Thee to wound, I throw me on thee To know who thou art. Declare, Art thou demon, man, or monster? What! no answer? Then I thus Dare myself to solve the problem, [He tears the cloak from the Figure, and finds beneath it a skeleton. And find out . . . . Oh, save me, heaven! God! what's this I see? what horrid Spectacle! What frightful vision! What death-threatening fearful portent! Stiff and stony corse, who art thou? That of dust and ashes formed Now dost live? THE FIGURE. Not know thyself? This is thy most faithful portrait; I, alas! am Luis Enius. [Disappears.* [footnote] *The interview between Luis Enius and the Skeleton, says a recent writer, "is a scene truly Calderonic - the hour, the place, the intended assassin, and the sudden reflection of himself, with his guilty conscience impersonate before him; it reminds us of that wild fable of Jeremy Taylor or Fuller, about the bird with a human face, that feeds on human flesh until it chances to see its reflection in a stream, and then it pines away for grief that it has killed its fellow." - WESTMINSTER REVIEW, vol. liv. p. 306. LUIS. Save me, heaven! what words of horror! Save me, heaven! what sight of woe! Prey of shadows and misfortunes. Ah, I die. [He falls on the ground. * * * * * SCENE V. PAUL. - LUIS. PAUL. It is the voice Of my master. Succour cometh Opportunely now in me. Sir! LUIS. Ah! why return, dread monster? I am overwhelmed, I faint here At your voice. PAUL [aside]. God help his noddle! He's gone mad! - Dread monster? No, [Aloud. I am Juan Paul, that donkey Who, not knowing why or wherefore, Is your servant. LUIS. Ah! good, honest Paul, I knew you not, so frightened Am I. But at that why wonder, If myself I do not know? Did you see a fearful corse here, A dead body with a soul, An apparent man supported By his skeleton alone, Bones from which the flesh had rotted, Fingers rigid, gaunt, and cold, Naked trunk, uncouth, abhorrent, Vacant spaces whence the eyes, Having fallen, left bare the sockets?- Whither has he gone? PAUL. If I Saw that ghost, upon my honour, I could never say I saw it; For more dead than that dead body I had fallen on the other side At the moment. LUIS. And no wonder; For my voice was mute, my breath Choked, my heart's warm beat forgotten, Clothed with ice were all my senses, Shod with lead my feet, my forehead Cold with sweat, I saw suspended Heaven's two mighty poles upon me, The brief Atlases sustaining Such a burden being my shoulders. It appeared as if there started Rocks from every tender blossom, Giants from each opening rose; For the earth's disrupted hollows Wished from out their graves to cast Forth the dead who lay there rotten; Ah, among them I beheld Luis Enius! Heaven be softened! Hide me, hide me, from myself! Bury me in some deep corner Of earth's centre! Let me never See myself, since no self-knowledge Have I had! But now I have it; Now I know I am that monster Of rebellion, who defied, In my madness, pride, and folly, God Himself; the same, whose crimes Are so numerous and so horrid, That it were slight punishment, If the whole wrath of the Godhead Was outpoured on me, and whilst God was God, eternal torments I should have to bear in hell. But I have this further knowledge, They were done against a God So divine, that He has promised To grant pardon, if my sins I with penitent tears acknowledge. Such I shed; and, Lord, to prove That to-day to be another I begin, being born anew, To Thy hands my soul I offer. Not as a strict judge then judge me, For the attributes of the Godhead Are His justice and His mercy; With the latter, not the former, Judge me, then, and fix what penance I shall do to gain that object. What will be the satisfaction Of my life? [Music (within). The Purgatory. LUIS. Bless me, heaven! what's this I hear? A sweet strain divine and solemn; It appears a revelation From on high, since heaven doth often Help mysteriously the sinner. And since I herein acknowledge A divine interposition, I will go into the Purgatory, Called, of Patrick, and fulfil, Humbly, faithfully, the promise Which I gave him long ago, If it is my happy fortune To see Patrick. If the attempt Is, as rumour hath informed me, Most terrific, since no human Strength avails against the horrors Of the place, or resolution To endure the demons' torments, Still my sins I must remember Were as dreadful. Skilful doctors Give for dangerous diseases Dangerous remedies to stop them.- Come, then, with me, Paul, and see How here penitent and prostrate At the bishop's feet I'll kneel, And confess, for greater wonder, All my awful sins aloud. PAUL. Go alone, then, for that project, Since so brave a man as you are Has no need of an accomplice; And there's no one I have heard of Who e'er went to hell escorted By his servant. I'll go home, And live pleasantly in my cottage Without care. If ghosts there be, I'm content with matrimony. [Exit. LUIS. Public were my sins, and so Public penance I will offer In atonement. Like one crazed, Crying in the crowded cross-ways, I'll confess aloud my crimes. Men, wild beasts, rude mountains, forests, Globes celestial, flinty rocks, Tender plants, dry elms, thick coppice, Know that I am Luis Enius, Tremble at my name, that monster Once of pride, as now I am Of humility the wonder. I have faith and certain hope Of great happiness before me, If in God's great name shall Patrick Aid me in the Purgatory. [Exit. * * * * * SCENE VI. A WOOD, IN THE CENTRE OF WHICH IS SEEN A MOUNTAIN, FROM WHICH POLONIA DESCENDS. POLONIA. POLONIA. To Thee, O Lord, my spirit climbs, To Thee from every lonely hill I burn to sacrifice my will A thousand and a thousand times. And such my boundless love to Thee I wish each will of mine a living soul could be. Would that my love I could have shown, By leaving for Thy sake, instead Of that poor crown that press'd my head, Some proud, imperial crown and throne - Some empire which the sun surveys Through all its daily course and gilds with constant rays. This lowly grot, 'neath rocks uphurled, In which I dwell, though poor and small, A spur of that stupendous wall, The eighth great wonder of the world, Doth in its little space excel The grandest palace where a king doth dwell. Far better on some natural lawn To see the morn its gems bestrew, Or watch it weeping pearls of dew Within the white arms of the dawn; Or view, before the sun, the stars Drive o'er the brightening plain their swiftly-fading cars. Far better in the mighty main, As night comes on, and clouds grow grey, To see the golden coach of day Drive down amid the waves of Spain. But be it dark, or be it bright, O Lord! I praise Thy name by day and night. Than to endure the inner strife, The specious glare, but real weight Of pomp, and power, and pride, and state, And all the vanities of life; How would we shudder could we deem That life itself, in truth, is but a fleeting dream. * * * * * SCENE VII. LUIS. - POLONIA. LUIS [aside]. True to my purpose on I go, With footsteps firm and bosom brave, Seeking for that mysterious cave Wherein the pitying heavens will show How I salvation there may gain, By bearing in this life the Purgatorial pain. [To POLONIA. Tell me, O holy woman! thou Who in these wilds a home hast found, A dweller in this mountain ground Obedient to some sacred vow, Which is the road to Patrick's cave, Where penitential man his soul in life may save? POLONIA. O, happy traveller! who here Hast come so far in storm and shine, Within this treasury divine To feel and find salvation near, Well can I guide thee on thy way, Since 'tis for this alone amid these wilds I stray. Seest thou this mountain? LUIS. Ah! I see My death in it. POLONIA [aside]. My heart grows cold. Ah! who is this that I behold? LUIS [aside]. I cannot think it. Is it she? POLONIA [aside]. 'Tis Luis, now I know. LUIS [aside]. Perhaps illusion it may be To baffle my intent, and lead My erring feet astray. - [to POLONIA}. Proceed. POLONIA [aside]. Say, can it be to conquer me The common enemy doth send This spectre here? LUIS. You do not speak. POLONIA. Attend. This mighty mountain, rock bestrown, Full well the dreaded secret knows; But no one to its centre goes By any path o'er land alone: He who would see this wondrous cave Must in a bark put forth and tempt the lake's dark wave. [Aside.] I struggle with a wish to wreak Revenge, which pity doth subdue. LUIS [aside]. It doth my happiness renew Once more to see and hear her speak. POLONIA [aside]. Within me opposite thoughts contend. LUIS [aside]. Ah, me! I die. - You do not speak. POLONIA. Attend. This darksome lake doth all surround The lofty mountain's rugged base, And so to reach the awful place An easy passage may be found: A sacred convent in the island stands, Midway between the mountain and the sands. Some pious priests inhabit there, And for this task alone they live, With loving zeal to freely give The helping hand, the strengthening prayer - Confession, and the Holy Mass, And every needful help to all who thither pass. Telling them what they first must do, Before they dare presume to go, Alive, within the realm of woe.- [Aside.] Let not this enemy subdue My soul, O Lord! LUIS [aside]. My hopes are fair. Let me not feel, O Lord! the anguish of despair, Seeing before my startled sight My greatest, deepest crime arise; Let not the fiend my soul that tries, Subdue me in this dreadful fight. POLONIA [aside]. 'Gainst what a powerful foe must I defend Myself to-day! LUIS. You do not speak. POLONIA. Attend. LUIS. With quicker speed your story tell, For well I know my soul hath need That I should go with swifter speed! POLONIA. And me it doth import as well That you should go away. LUIS. Agreed. Now, woman, point the way to where my path doth lead. POLONIA. No one accompanied can brave The terrors of this gloomy lake; And so a skiff you needs must take, And try alone the icy wave; Being in that most trying strait The absolute master of your acts and fate. Come where within a secret cave Beside the shore the boat doth lie, And trusting in the Lord on high, Embark upon the crystal wave Of this remote lone inland sea. LUIS. My life and all I have I place, O Lord! in Thee. And so I trust me to the bark; But, O my soul! what sight is here, A coffin doth the bark appear; And I upon the waters dark Alone must cross the icy tide. [He enters. POLONIA. Oh! turn not back, but follow and confide LUIS [within]. I've conquered! sweet Polonia's shade, Since sight of thee has not undone My shuddering soul. POLONIA. And I have won, Here in this Babylon delayed, O'er wrath and rage the victory. LUIS [within]. Thy feigned resemblance does not frighten me, Though thou dost take a form Might tempt my steps astray And make me turn despairing from my way. POLONIA. Thy fear doth badly thee inform, Poor to be brave and rich to be afraid, For I Polonia am, and not her shade, The same that thou didst slay, But who by God's decree Restored to life, even in this misery, Is happier far to-day. LUIS [within]. Since I my sinful state Confess, and feel too well its fearful weight, Thy wrong, oh, pardon too! POLONIA. I give it, and approve of thy design. LUIS [within]. My faith, at least, I never will resign. POLONIA. That grace will be thy safeguard. LUIS [within]. Then, adieu! POLONIA. Adieu! LUIS [within]. May God in pity save. POLONIA. And bring thee back victorious from the cave. * * * * * SCENE VIII. THE ENTRANCE OF A CONVENT - AT THE END THE CAVE OF PATRICK. Two Canons Regular; afterwards Luis. FIRST CANON. See, the waters of the lake Move although no breeze doth blow:* Without doubt to-day some pilgrim Roweth to this island shore. [footnote] *Single asonante in the long accented o, which is kept up to the end of the Scene. SECOND CANON. Come unto the strand to see Who can be so brave and bold As to seek our gloomy dwelling, Crossing the dark waters o'er. [Enter LUIS. LUIS. Here my boat, my coffin, rather, On the billows I bestow. Who his sepulchre has ever Steered, as I, through fire and snow? What a pleasant spot is this! Here has Spring, methinks, invoked Flowers of high and low degree To assemble at her court. But this dismal mountain here, How unlike the plain below! Yet they are the better friends By the contrasts that they show. there the mournful birds of prey Hoarsely croak, presaging woe, Here the warblers in their joy Charm us with their tuneful notes. There the torrents leaping headlong Fright us with their frenzied roar, Here the crystal streamlets gliding Mirror back the sun's bright gold. Half way 'twixt that ugliness And this beauty, I behold A plain building whose grave front Fear and love at once provokes. FIRST CANON. Happy wanderer, who here Hast arrived with heart so bold, Come unto my arms. LUIS. The ground That you tread on suits me more. Oh, for charity conduct me To the Prior of your fold, To the Abbot of this convent. FIRST CANON. Though unworthy, you behold Him in me. Speak. What's your wish? LUIS. Father, if my name I told, I'm afraid that swiftly flying, With a terror uncontrolled, You would leave me: for my works Are so shocking to unfold, That to see them not, the sun Wraps him round in mourning robes. I am an abyss of crimes, A wild sea that has no shore; I am a broad map of guilt, And the greatest sinner known. Yes, in me, to tell it briefly In one comprehensive word (Here my breath doth almost fail me), Luis Enius behold! I come here this cave to enter, If for sins so manifold Aught can ever satisfy, Let my penance thus atone To the Bishop of Hibernia I've confessed, and am absolved, Who informed of my intention With a gracious love consoled All my fears, and unto thee Sent these letters I unfold. FIRST CANON. Do not in a single day Take, my son, a step so bold, For these things require precaution More than can at once be told. Stay here as our guest some days, Then at leisure we can both See about it and decide. LUIS. No, my father, no, oh, no! Never from the ground I'll rise, Where here prostrate I am thrown, Till you grant to me this good. It was God that touched my soul, And inspired me to come here; Not a vain desire to know, Not ambition to find out Secrets God, perchance, withholds. Do not baffle this intention, For the call is heaven's alone. Oh, my father! yield in pity, With me in my griefs condole, Give my sorrows consolation, Heal the anguish of my soul. FIRST CANON. Luis, you have not considered what you ask of me; you know Nothing of the infernal torments You must bear: to undergo These your strength is insufficient. Many are there, more the woe! Who go in, but few, alas! Who return. LUIS. Your threats forebode Much; but still they fright not me; For I do protest, I go But to purge away my sins, Which if numbered are much more Than the atoms of the sun And the sands upon the shore. I will ever have my hope Firmly fixed upon the Lord, At whose holy name even hell Is subdued. FIRST CANON. The fervid glow Of your words compels me now To unlock the awful doors. Luis, you behold the cave: See! [He opens the mouth of the cave. LUIS. Oh, save me, gracious God! FIRST CANON. What! dismayed? LUIS. No, not dismayed; Still it scared me to behold. FIRST CANON. I admonish you again, For no lesser cause to go, Than a firm belief that there For your sins you may atone. LUIS. Father, I am in the cave: Listen to my voice once more, Men and wild beasts, skies and mountains, Day and night, and sun and moon, To you all I here protest, Ay, a thousand times make known, That I enter here to suffer Torments for my sins untold; For so great, so dread a penance Is but little to atone For such sins as mine, believing That the cave salvation holds. FIRST CANON. Enter then, and in your mouth, As within your heart's deep core, Be the name of Jesus. LUIS. Be With me, Lord, O gracious Lord, For here, armed but with Thy faith, I am pitted 'gainst my foe In the open field. That name Will my enemy o'erthrow. Crossing myself many times I advance. Oh, save me, God! [He enters the cave which they close. FIRST CANON. Of the many who have entered None has equal courage shown. Oh, enable him, just Jesus, To resist the demon host And their wiles, relying ever Upon Thee, divinest Lord. [Exeunt. * * * * * SCENE IX. LESBIA, PHILIP, LEOGAIRE, The Captain, and POLONIA. LESBIA. Before we reach the place, Whither you wish to lead us, for a space Let us say why we came To see you here to-day: a definite aim All of us here has brought. POLONIA. Speak as we go whatever be your thought, Still following where I lead, For I a sight that doth all sights exceed Will bring you here to see. LESBIA. What, then, our wishes were you hear from me. Polonia, you desired In this wild mountain waste to live retired, Making of me the heir, While living, of your kingdom. I would share With you in turn my plans, however small, And so I hither come to tell you all. My will is in your hands; I ask not counsel, sister, but commands. A single woman scarce can ever be Strong through advice, and of necessity She must be married. POLONIA. Yes; and if your choice Has fallen on Philip I may well rejoice, For then to me you'll owe Both crown and husband. PHILIP. May you live whilst glow The sun's bright beams, that orb which dies at night, And Phoenix of its rays is born with morning's light. POLONIA. Then since you thus have gained Your wish, ye two, now free and unconstrained, Listen to what I tell, And all who hear me listen too, as well. With all the outward show Of fervour came a man, whom we all know, Seeking for Patrick's cave, To enter there, and so his soul to save. He entered it, and cometh forth today, And 'tis because my terror and dismay Are balanced by my wonder, that with me I bring you to behold this holy prodigy. I do not tell you who he is lest fear Should so my heart make craven, that I ne'er Could reach the end I sought:- 'Tis for this object that you here are brought. LESBIA. It is but only right That I should mingle terror with delight. POLONIA. If strength from him hath fled, And he extended in the cave lies dead, At least 'twill show His punishment; and if he comes, we'll know The mystery that is here; If safe he comes, who cometh forth, through fear Perchance he may not speak, But, flying men, some solitude may seek To live and die alone. LEOGAIRE. What mighty mysteries lie here unknown. CAPTAIN. The time is opportune that we come here, For the religious whom we see draw near, All bathed in tears, now go To the cave's mouth in solemn, silent row To throw the gates aside. * * * * * SCENE X. The procession advances to the cave; the gates are opened by the Prior and his assistants. LUIS ENIUS comes forth, astonished.- THE SAME. PRIOR. And those of heaven, O Lord, keep open wide To penitent tears and sighs. May this poor sinner from these dungeons rise, This dark and dismal place, Where never shines the radiance of Thy face. POLONIA. The gate is opened. PRIOR. Oh, what happiness! PHILIP. 'Tis Luis! LUIS. Bless me, heaven! in pity bless! Ah! is it possible that I am here Again on earth after so many a year, And that once more I see The light of the sun? CAPTAIN. How rapt! LEOGAIRE. How dazed is he! PRIOR. Embrace us all, my son. LUIS. My arms were prison chains to every one. Polonia, since thou'rt here, Thy pity I may claim without a fear. And thou, O Philip, know That thrice an angel saved thee from the blow Of my sharp sword: two nights I watched for thee To slay thee; may my error pardoned be. Now flying from myself, oh, let me hide, And in some wilderness abide - Far from the world in solitude and pain, For he who saw what I have seen would feign, So suffering live, so die. PRIOR. Then on the part of God, O Enius! I Command thee what thou hast seen at once to say. LUIS. So sacred a command I must obey:- And that the startled world may now begin A better course, and man from mortal sin My words may waken like some midnight wail, Listen, O grave assembly to my tale. After all the preparations, Fit and solemn were effected,* Which in such a perilous case Might be needed and expected, And when I from all around me, Firm in faith, with courage strengthened, Tenderly farewell had taken This dark cavern here to enter, I my trust reposed in God, And my lips repeating ever Those mysterious, mystic words, At which even the demons tremble, I then placed me on the threshold, Where, until, as I expected, They would close the gate, I stood. It was closed, and I remember Then I found me in black night, Whence the light was so ejected, That I closed on it mine eyes. (A strange way it seems, but certain To see better in the dark.) With my lids thus closed together On I went, and felt a wall Which in front of me extended; And by following it, and groping For about the length of twenty Paces, came upon some rocks, And perceived through a small crevice Of this rugged mountain wall That a doubtful glimmer entered Of a light that was not light, As when the day the dark disperses, If 'tis morning, or not morning, Oft the twilight is uncertain. With light steps a path pursuing, By the left-hand side I entered, When I felt a strange commotion; The firm earth began to tremble, And upheaving 'neath my feet, Ruin and convulsion threatened. Stupified I stopped there, when With a voice which woke my senses From forgetfulness and fainting, Loud a thunder-clap re-echoed, And the ground on which I stood Bursting open in the centre, It appeared as if I fell To a depth where I lay buried In the loosened stones and earth Which had after me descended. Then I found me in a hall Built of jasper, where the presence Of the chisel was made known By its ornate architecture. Through a door of bronze twelve men Then advanced and came directly Where I stood, who, clothed alike In unspotted snow-white dresses, With a courteous air received me, And too humbly did me reverence. One, who seemed to be among them The superior, said: "Remember That in God you place your faith, And that you be not dejected In your battle with the demons; For if moved by what they threaten, Or may promise, you turn back, You will have to dwell for ever In the lowest depths of hell Amid torments most excessive." Angels were these men for me, And so greatly was I strengthened By their counsel and advice That revived I once more felt me. On a sudden then the whole Hall unto mine eyes presented Nothing but infernal visions, Fallen angels, the first rebels, And in forms so horrible, So disgusting, that resemblance It would be in vain to look for; And one said to me: "Demented Reckless fool, who here hast wished Prematurely to present thee To thy destined punishment, And the pains that thou deservest; If thy sins are so immense, That thyself must needs condemn them, Since thou in the eye of God Never can have hope of mercy, Why has thou come here thyself To endure them? Back to earth, then, Go, oh! go, and end thy life; And as thou hast lived, so perish. Then again thou'lt come to see us; For hath hell prepared already That dread seat in which thou must Sit for ever and for ever."- I did answer not a word; And then giving me some heavy Blows, my hands and feet they bound, Tieing them with thongs together, And then caught and wounded me With sharp hooks of burning metal, Dragging me through all the cloisters, Where they lit a fire and left me Headlong plunged amid the flames. I but cried, "O Jesus! help me." At the words the demons fled, And the fire went out and ended Then they brought me to a plain Where the blackened earth presented Fruits of thistles and of thorns, 'Stead of pink and rose sweet scented. Here a biting wind passed by, Which with subtle sharpness entered Even my bones, whose faintest breath Like the keenest sword-edge cleft me. Here in the profoundest depths Sadly, mournfully lamented Myriad souls, their parents cursing From whose loins they had descended. Such despairing shrieks and cries, Such blaspheming screams were blended, Such atrocious oaths and curses So repeated and incessant, That the very demons shuddered. I passed on, and in a meadow Found me next, whose plants and grasses Were all flames, which waved and bent them, As when in the burning August Wave the gold ears all together. So immense it was, the sight Never could make out where ended This red field, and in it lay An uncountable assemblage All recumbent in the fire; Through their bodies and their members Burning spikes and nails were driven; These with feet and hands extended Were held nailed upon the ground, Vipers of red fire the entrails Gnawed of some; while others lying, With their teeth in maniac frenzy Bit the earth; and some there were Piecemeal who themselves dismembered, And who seemed to die, but only To revive and die for ever. There the ministers of death Flung me from them bound and helpless, But at the sweet name of Jesus All their fury fled and left me. I passed on, and found me where Some were cured, by a strange method, Of their cruel wounds and torments; Lead and burning pitch were melted, And being poured upon their sores Made a cautery most dreadful. Who that hears me will not mourn? Who that hears this awful lesson Will not sigh and will not weep, Will not fear and will not tremble? Then I saw a certain building, Out of which bright rays extended From the windows and the doors, As when conflagration settles On a house, the flame bursts forth Where an opening is presented. "This," they told me, "is the villa Of delights, the bath of pleasures, The abode of the luxurious, Where are punished all those women Who were in the other life, From frivolity excessive, Too much given to scented waters, Unguents, rouges, baths, and perfumes."- I went in, and there beheld, In a tank of cold snow melted, Many lovely women bathing, With an upturned look of terror; Underneath the water they Were the prey of snakes and serpents, For the fishes and the sirens Of this sea they represented; In the clear transparent crystal Stiff and frozen were their members, Icy hard their hair was lifted, Chattering struck their teeth together. Passing out, the demons brought me To a mountain so tremendous In its height, that as it rose Through the sky its peak dissevered, If it did not tear and rend, The vast azure veil celestial; In the middle of this peak A volcano stood, which, belching Flames, appeared as if to spit them In the very face of heaven. From this burning cone, this crater, Fire at intervals ascended In which issued many souls, Who again its womb re-entered, Oft repeating and renewing This ascending and descending. At this time a scorching wind Caught me when I least expected, Blowing me from where I stood, So that instantly it set me In the depths of that abyss. I too was shot up: a second Wind-gust came, that with it brought Myriad legions, who impelled me Rudely to another part, Where it seemed I saw assembled All the other souls I had seen, But who here were all collected; And though this was the abode Where the pains were most excessive, I remarked that all therein Faces bore of glad expression, Countenances calm and sweet, No impatience in their gestures Or their words; but with their eyes Fixed on heaven, as if thus set there To ask mercy, ever weeping Tears of tenderness and penance. That it was the Purgatory I at once by this detected, Where the happy souls are purged from Their more venial offences. I was not subdued even here, Though the demons stormed and threatened Me the more: I rather felt By the sight renewed and strengthened. Then they, seeing that they could not Shake my constancy, presented To my eyes their greatest torments, That which is in an especial Sense called hell; and so they brought me To a river, all the herbage Of whose banks was flowers of fire, And whose stream was sulphur melted; The dread monsters of its tide Were the hydras and the serpents; It was very wide, and o'er it Was a narrow bridge suspended, Which but seemed a line, no more, And so delicate and slender That in my opinion no one Without breaking it could ever Pass across. "Look here," they said, "By this narrow way 'tis destined Thou must cross; see thou the means. And for thy o'erwhelming terror See how those have fared who tried Before thee." and then directly I saw those who tried to pass Fall into the stream, where serpents Tore them in a thousand pieces With their claws and teeth's sharp edges. I invoked the name of God, And could dare with it to venture To the other side to pass, Without yielding to the terror Of the winds and of the waves, Though they fearfully beset me. Yes I passed, and in a wood, So delightful and so fertile, Found me, that in it I could, After what had passed, refresh me. On my way as I advanced, Cedars, palms, their boughs extended, Trees of paradise indeed, As I may with strictness term them; All the ground being covered over With the rose and pink together Formed a carpet, in whose hues White and green and red were blended. There the amorous song-birds sang Tenderly their sweet distresses, Keeping, with the thousand fountains Of the streams, due time and measure. Then upon my vision broke A great city, proud and splendid, Which had even the sun itself For its towers' and turrets' endings; All the gates were of pure gold, Into which had been inserted Exquisitely, diamonds, rubies, Topaz, chrysolite, and emerald. Ere I reached the gates they opened, And the saints in long procession Solemnly advanced to meet me, Men and women, youths and elders, Boys and girls and children came, All so joyful and contented. Then the seraphim and angels, In a thousand choirs advancing, To their golden instruments Sang the symphonies of heaven; After them at last approached The most glorious and resplendent Patrick, the great patriarch, Who his gratulations telling That I had fulfilled my word Ere I died, as he expected, He embraced me; all displaying Joy and gladness in my welfare. Thus encouraged he dismissed me, Telling me no mortal ever, While in life, that glorious city Of the saints could hope to enter; That once more unto the world I should go my days to end there. Finally my way retracing, I came back, quite unmolested By the dark infernal spirits, And at last the gate of entrance Having reached, you all came forward To receive me and attend me. And since I from so much danger Have escaped, oh! deign to let me, Pious fathers, here remain Till my life is happily ended.** [footnote] *Asonante in e-e, which is kept up to the end. [footnote] **For the account of St. Patrick's Purgatory, as given by Messingham, see Notes. * * * * * For with this the history closes, As it is to us presented By Dionysius the Carthusian, With Henricus Salteriensis, Matthew Paris, Ranulph Higden, And Caesarius Heisterbacensis, Marcus Marulus, Mombritius, David Rothe, the prudent prelate, And Vice-Primate of all Ireland, Belarminus, Dimas Serpi, Bede, Jacobus, and Solinus, Messingham, and to express it In a word, the Christian faith And true piety that defend it. For the play is ended where Its applause, I hope, commences.* [footnote] *For an explanation of this list of names, now for the first time correctly printed, see Note on "The authorities for the Legend, as given by Calderon." THE END. * * * * * NOTES. ACT THE FIRST. SCENE II., p. 247. "Patrick is my name, my country Ireland, and an humble hamlet Scarcely known to men, called 'Empthor', Is my place of birth." The passage in the original is as follows:- "Mi propio nombre es Patricio, Mi patria Irland o Hibernia, Mi pueblo 'es Tax.'" 'Hartzenbusch', t. I, p. 150. This is the reading of all the editions, and has been adopted in the German translation of the drama by Al. Jeitteles (Brunn, 1824). "Tax" looks very unlike the name of a village, and it appears to me to be simply a misprint. The whole of this speech of St. Patrick is taken from the 'Vida y Purgatorio' of Juan Perez de Montalvan. The description of St. Patrick's birth-place, as given by Montalvan, is as follows:- "En cuya jurisdicion ay un Pueblo, de pocos moradores, Ilamado "Emptor". Aqui nacio un moco," etc. (edition of 1664, f. I.) It is quite plain that "es Tax" in Calderon's play is an easily understood misprint for the "Emptor" of Montalvan. "Mi patria Irlanda o Hibernia, Mi pueblo Emptor," even metrically, is a better reading than - "Mi patria Irlanda o Hibernia, Mi pueblo es Tax." In the hymn of St. Fiacc, a contemporary of the Apostle, the birthplace of St. Patrick is said to have been at "Empthor," or "Nemthur," as it is sometimes printed. The same locality is assigned to it in the "Tripartite Life of Saint Patrick", but considerable controversy has arisen as to the exact position of the place. See "The Life of Saint Patrick", by P. Lynch, Dublin, 1828: "St. Patrick, Apostle of Ireland", by J. H. Todd, D.D. (1864); and "The Life of St. Patrick", by M. F. Cusack, Kenmare, Co. Kerry (1869), a most elaborate and very beautiful work. SCENE II., p. 252. This long address of Patrick is founded on the following passages of the story as originally told in Montalvan's "Vida y Purgatorio de San Patricio", Madrid, 1627. The translation is made as literal as possible, to show how closely Calderon followed even the language of Montalvan. Chapter I. - "Between the north and west is situated the Island of Hibernia, or Ireland, as it is at present more usually called. It was once known as the Island of Saints, because its inhabitants were ever ready to shed their blood in the lists of martyrdom, which is the highest proof of courage which the Faithful can give; since life being so dear to us, it is a most heroic act for the sake of religion to offer it to the sacrilegious hands of a tyrant that only lives in seeing others die. "In this island there was a village with a few inhabitants, called Emptor, which the sea, like a cincture of snow, not only encircled but appeared to bind. Here was born a youth of such virtuous dispositions that he seemed to belie the promise of his years, since virtue and adolescence are not easily reconciled. He gave himself much to the reading of the Lives of the Saints, of whose exercises he was a great imitator, very fearful of those snares which lie in the way of youth, and which, though he escaped, he was not without a disposition to fall into." . . . . [This youth was St. Patrick's father, who married Conchessa, a French lady, as mentioned by Calderon, who, in the older Lives of St. Patrick, is said to have been the sister of St. Martin of Tours. After the birth of Patrick, St. Conchessa, his mother, retired to a convent, and his father became a priest. The story then continues.] "Patrick remained in his early years under the tutelage of his aunt, and God was so desirous of showing to the world the favours with which He had pre-determined to honour that pure soul, that He did not wait for the time when Patrick would be of an age to ask for them; since before he could speak the words God declared Himself his friend. For a blind man, Gormas (a neighbour of his in that village), heard one day a voice in the air which said to him, that ifhe went to Patrick (a child recently baptised), who would with his right hand make the sign of the cross upon his eyes, he would be restored to sight. He did so, and saw: God no doubt to foreshadow by this the great things that he would eventually work through this His servant. And this predestination, as it were, He made more remarkable by another miracle, which, if it was not greater, was more acknowledged and more widely known from the number of persons who were astonished at beholding it. In a certain year, it happened that such a quantity of snow had fallen from heaven, so great was the extent of the thaw when the sun melted it, that the water covered all the ground, and grew to the dimensions of a lake, which, spreading into the village, inundated all the houses, putting even that of Patrick in the greatest danger. But he, being then only ten years old, with a lively and courageous faith made the sign of the cross upon the waters, and in the sight of all compelled them to retire into the bed of the sea, the land remaining as dry and as free from snow as in the height of summer. . . . . "One morning, being about the age of sixteen years, as he stood by the shore of the sea, reciting the Psalter with some of his companions, certain pirates made a sudden descent upon the coast, and having seized them, re-embarked immediately through fear of being baulked of their prize. Patrick was brought to a remote extremity of Ireland, and, like another Joseph, was sold to a prince of that island, who, thinking him fit for nothing else, gave to him the care of his sheep. This was an occupation very agreeable to Patrick, for as love can avow itself more openly in solitude, he spent all the night and all the day in loving and conversing with God, making altars of the rocks and of the flowers, on which to make to Him the entire sacrifice of his heart. "The astonishing increase of the flock, which multiplied every day beneath his charge, soon became known to his master, who, being one night asleep, saw among the obscure visions of his dreams his slave Patrick rejoicing and surrounded by a great light, from whose mouth issued a beautiful and resplendent flame, which touching his two daughters, who he thought were by his side, burned them and reduced them to ashes, leaving himself alone untouched by that sweet and amorous flame. Frightened at such an astonishing vision, scarcely had the day come, when he sent for his slave and related to him what had occurred, asking him to explain the mystery of that terrible dream. To which Patrick replied, with great tranquillity, that the flame which he had seen come from his mouth could only be the Faith of the most Holy Trinity, which for a long time he had desired to preach to him and his daughters. And further, that it was because this doctrine would make no impression on his soul the flame refused to touch him, he dying blind in his infidelity. But because his daughters would eventually be convinced of the truth, God permitted them to be burned by the flame of His Faith and His Love, so as to fulfil the end for which they were created. With this Patrick took leave of his master and returned to his flock, leaving him so confused that he did not know whether he should punish him for what he had announced; all which happened in the manner the saint had predicted. "In this way he lived some years, and our Lord, seeing that the solitude in which His servant passed his life in the fields was very great, sent to him as a companion his guardian angel, Victor, to whom he could communicate his thoughts, and from whom he would receive consolation in his slavery. But one night, being engaged in prayer, and yielding his spirit to a divine ecstasy and rapture, he saw as in a mirror a man of dignified appearance, whose dress gave him to understand that he was of the same country as himself. This personage seemed to be the bearer of a letter, the superscription of which Patrick approaching to read, he saw these words: - 'The voice of the Irish people'. And as he hastened to open the letter to see its contents, it seemed that within it were all the inhabitants of Ireland, men, women, and children, even the little infants, all crying out to him and saying, "Patrick, Patrick, we implore that you will come to us and free us from this slavery." The Saint upon this awoke, and consulting his angel, asked him to be released from his captivity, since he had a great desire to return to his country and assist those who had such need of him." - 'Vida y Purgatorio de S. Patricio', per el Doctor Juan Perez de Montalvan. Madrid, 1628, and Madrid, 1664. [The visit to St. Germain in France is then described: his residence with St. Martin of Tours, the journey to Rome, and all the other events follow in detail, which Montalvan collected from Messingham, Messingham's chief authority being the Life of St. Patrick, by Jocelin. These are all briefly epitomised in the address of the Angel Victor, as given by Calderon at the end of the first act.] SCENE II., p. 262. The story of Luis Enius, as given by Calderon in this long address, seems to be entirely the invention of Montalvan. It is told in the sixth chapter of his "Vida y Purgatorio de San Patricio", and in the edition of 1628 fills over forty pages. Calderon follows the narrative very closely, but in one noticeable incident he greatly improves upon his predecessor. This is in the celebrated skeleton scene of the third act. The corresponding scene in Montalvan's story is puerile enough. In Montalvan Luis Enius has no interview with the skeleton, so powerfully described by Calderon. His conversion is effected by a floating piece of paper which had eluded his grasp for two nights, but which he seized on the third, and examined by a mysterious light at the foot of a cross. On the paper he perceived the representation of a skull, under which is written, "I am Luis Enius". How utterly ineffective and commonplace this is compared with the fine scene in Calderon need not be pointed out. The story of the vision of himself at Lerici, as recorded in some of the lives of the poet Shelley, which is almost identical with that in Calderon, was evidently suggested by this scene. Shelley's reference to the "Purgatorio de San Patricio" in a note to "The Cenci" shows the attention with which he read this drama. The "Embozado" which Captain Medwin and others supposed to be the name of one of Calderon's dramas, and which, as might be expected, Washington Irving vainly looked for in Spain, was the "Hombre embozado," the "Muffled Figure" of Calderon's "Purgatorio de San Patricio", act 3, scene i. A vivid description of this scene by Shelley to one of his friends may have been mistaken for a circumstance that had actually happened to the poet himself. SCENE VIII. The "Athenaeum", in its elaborate review of the earlier translation of this drama, thus writes:- "With the prayer of St. Patrick considerable licence has been taken; but its spirit is well preserved, and the translator's poetry must be admired. "PATRICK. Thou art of all created things, O Lord, the essence and the cause - The source and centre of all bliss; What are those veils of woven light, Where sun and moon and stars unite - The purple morn, the spangled night - But curtains which thy mercy draws Between the heavenly world and this? The terrors of the sea and land - When all the elements conspire, The earth and water, storm and fire - Are but the shadows of thy hand; Do they not all in countless ways - The lightning's flash - the howling storm - The dread volcano's awful blaze - Proclaim thy glory and thy praise? Beneath the sunny summer showers Thy love assumes a milder form, And writes its angel name in flowers; The wind that flies with winged feet Around the grassy gladdened earth, Seems but commissioned to repeat In echo's accents - silvery sweet - That thou, O Lord, didst give it birth. There is a tongue in every flame - There is a tongue in every wave - To these the bounteous Godhead gave These organs but to praise his name! O mighty Lord of boundless space, Here canst thou be both sought and found - For here in everything around, Thy presence and thy power I trace. With Faith my guide and my defence, I burn to serve in love and fear; If as a slave, Oh, leave me here! If not, O Lord, remove me hence!" The "Athenaeum", Oct. 26, 1853. ACT THE THIRD. SCENE X. The account of St. Patrick's Purgatory given by Luis Enius in this long narrative is taken immediately from the seventh, eighth, and ninth chapters of Montalvan's "Vida y Purgatorio de San Patricio", which, as already stated, are themselves a translation from the "Florilegium Insulae Sanctorum" of Messingham. The following extracts are taken from the tract referred to in the Introduction, the full title of which is as follows:- "A BRIEF HISTORY OF SAINT PATRICK'S PURGATORY, AND ITS PILGRIMAGE. Collected out of Ancient Historians. Written in Latin by the Reverend MR. THOMAS MESSINGHAM, formerly Superior of the Irish Seminary in Paris. [Paris, 1624.] "And now made English in favour of those who are curious to know the Particulars of that Famous Place and Pilgrimage so much celebrated by Antiquity. "Printed at Paris, 1718." "CHAPTER IV. "Of the Penitent Soldier, his going into this Purgatory, and of the Messengers sent from God unto him. "There was a certain Soldier called Owen, who had for many years served in King Stephen's Army. This Man, having obtained Licence from the King, came to the North of Ireland, his Native Country, to visit his Parents; and when he had continued there for some time, he began to reflect upon the wickedness of the Life he had led from his Infancy; upon his Plundering and Burning in the Army; and (which grieved him more) upon the many sacrileges he had been guilty of in Robbing and Spoiling Churches; together with many other Enormous hidden Sins. Being then interiorly moved to repentance, he went to a certain Bishop in that country, and Confess'd all his Sins unto him. The Bishop severely reproved him, and let him know how grievously he had provoked God's indignation. The Soldier hereupon being exceedingly sorrowful, resolved to do penance suitable to the greatness of [his] Sins. For the People of that country have this Naturally, that as they are more prone to evil thro' Ignorance than Men of other Countries,* so are they more ready and willing to do penance, when they are made sensible of the Enormity of their Sins. When the Bishop wou'd then enjoin him such penance as he thought reasonable, the Soldier answered: "Since you say that I have offended God so grievously, I will undergo a penance more grievous than any other whatsoever. I will go into St. Patrick's Purgatory". The Bishop, to diswade him from so bold an attempt, related unto him, how many had perished in that Place; but the Soldier, who never feared any danger, wou'd not be diswaded. The Bishop advised him to take the Habit of the Canon Regulars, or that of the Monks; and the Soldier declared he wou'd do neither till he had first gone into the said Purgatory. Whereupon the Bishop, perceiving he was inflexible and Truely penitent, wrote by him to the Prior of the place and charged him to deal with the Soldier, as was usually done with those, who desire to enter this Purgatory. The Prior, upon perusal of the Bishop's Letter, after that he had observed all the other Formalities required, conducted the Soldier into the Church, where he passed the accustomed time of fifteen days in Fast and Prayer. Then the Prior having celebrated Mass gave him the Sacrament, called together his own Brethern, and the Neighbouring Clergy, conducted him to the door of the Cave, sprinkled him with Holy-water, and made him this speech.- "Behold thou shalt now enter in here, in the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ, and shalt walk thro' the Hollow of this Cave, till thou comest to a Field, where thou shalt find a Hall artificially wrought; into which when thou hast enter'd thou shalt find Messengers sent from God, who shall tell thee in Order what thou art to do, and to suffer. When these are gone and thou alone in the Hall, Evil Spirits will immediately come to tempt thee; For so it happen'd to other that went in here before thee, but be thou of Manly courage, and Stedfast in the Faith of Jesus Christ." [footnote] *It should be mentioned that this unfavourable opinion of the Irish people is quoted by Messingham from the MS. of Henry of Saltrey, an English monk, who appears never to have been in Ireland. "The Soldier, who fear'd no Colours, was no way frighten'd at what happen'd to others, having often before, Arm'd with Steel, fought against Men, now arm'd with Faith, Hope and Charity, and confiding in God's Mercy, went on boldly to fight against Devils; so recommending himself to all their Prayers, and making the Sign of the Cross on his Forehead, courageously enter'd the Door, which the Prior Locked on the outside and Return'd in Procession with his Clergy to the Church. "The Soldier, being desirous to War a new and an unusual Warfare, marched on boldly through the Cave, tho' alone, where the Darkness thickening upon him, he lost all manner of Light. Soon after a little glimmering light appear'd thro' the Cave, which led him to the Field and Hall aforesaid. Now there was no more light in this Hall than we usually have in winter after Sun-set. The hall had no Walls, but was supported by Pillars and Arches on every Side, after the Manner of the Cloyster of a Monastry. Walking awhile in this Hall, and admiring the Beauty of its Structure, he saw the Inclosure, whose Structure he also admired as being more Beautiful. Wherefore having gone into it he sat down, and Casting his Eyes about him to take a full View, he observed fifteen Men clad in white Garments, shorn and dress'd like Monks, coming in, who saluted him in the name of the Lord, and sat down. Then after a short pause, he that seem'd to be their Prior and Chief, spoke to him after this Manner: 'Blessed be the Omnipotent God, who put the good purpose into thy Heart of coming into this Purgatory for the cleansing of thy sins: But if thou doest not behave thyself Manly, thou shalt perish both Body and Soul. For immediately after we leave this House there will come a multitude of unclean Spirits, who shall inflict great Torments upon thee, and threaten thee with greater: They will promise to lead thee to the Door, by which thou hast enter'd in here, to see if by this means they might deceive thee, and get thee to go out. And if thou be overcome by the violence of their Torments, or frightened by their Threats, or deceiv'd by their Promise, and consent to their Demands, thou shalt be destroy'd both Body and Soul. But if thou be strong in Faith, and trust in the Lord, so as not to yield to their Torments, or Threats, or Promise; but despise them with a generous Heart, thou shalt not only be purged of all thy Sins, but shall also see the Torments which Sinners endure, and the Place of Rest and Bliss which the Just enjoy. Have God then always before thine Eyes, and as often as they Torment thee, call upon our Lord Jesus Christ, and by the Invocation of His Name, thou shalt be deliver'd from whatever Torment thou art in. Lay all these Things up in thy Mind quickly; for we can stay here no longer, but recommend thee to Almighty God.' "So having given the Soldier their Blessing, they departed." "CHAPTER V. "Of the Coming of the Devils, and of the first Torment which the Soldier endured. "The Soldier being thus left alone by the Holy Men, began to exercise himself for a new kind of Warfare, and having put on the Armour of Christ, stoutly waited for him, among the Devils, who shou'd first provoke him to Battle. He put on the Coat of Mail of Justice, girt his Mind, as he wou'd his Head, with the Helmet of the Hope of Victory and of eternal Salvation, cover'd his Breast with the Shield of Faith, and armed his Hand with the Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God, devoutly calling upon Jesus Christ, that being defended by this Royal Fortress, his insulting Enemies might not conquer him. Nor did Divine Providence, which always protects those who trust in it, fail him. Being then, as aforesaid, sitting alone in the Inclosure, and with an undaunted Courage waiting for a Battle with the Devils, he heard all of a sudden so great a Noise as if all the Earth had been turn'd upside down: And indeed, if all the Men, and all the living creatures on Earth, in the Sea, and Air, had bellowed out together, it seemed to him, they cou'd not make a greater Noise: so that, had he not been protected by Divine Virtue, and happily instructed by the aforesaid Holy man, he wou'd infallibly have lost his Senses. But Lo, after this horrid Sound, there followed a sight of Devils more horrid; for there appear'd an innumerable multitude of Devils, in ugly frightful shapes; who saluted him in a fleering manner and said: 'Other Men who serve us, do not come to our Habitation till after Death; but thou art pleased to Honour our Company so much, as that thou wouldst not, like others wait for Death; but hast alive delivered both Body and Soul unto us: Thou has done this, that thou mayst receive the greater Reward from us: Thou shalt then be abundantly rewarded as thou hast deserv'd. Thou art come hither to be tortur'd for thy Sins; thou shalt then have what thou seekest, that is, Pressures and Grief. Yet for as much as thou hast hitherto served us, if thou wilt follow our Counsel, and return from whence thou camest, we will for thy reward lead thee safe to the Door by which thou hast enter'd in here; that thou mayest live joyfully in the World, and not lose the sweet things which thy Body is capable to enjoy.' "All these things they said with an intent to deceive him, either with Terror or Flattery. But the stout Soldier of Jesus Christ was not shaken by Terror, nor seduced by Flattery; and therefore contemned with an equal Mind, as well those that wou'd terrifie, as those that wou'd flatter him, in making them no Answer. "The Devils, perceiving they had been despised by the Soldier, cast up a prodigious flame; and having tyed him Head and Foot, cast him into the Fire, and with Iron Crooks dragg'd him to and fro, making a most hideous Noise. Then the Soldier having on the Armour of God, and remembering the Documents given him by the Holy Men, neither forgetting the Arms of his Spiritual Warfare, called upon the Name of his pious Redeemer, saying: Jesus Christ have pity upon me. Whereupon he was so fully deliver'd from the said Flames, that the least spark of all that great Fire did not appear. The Soldier perceiving this mighty delivery, became more bold, and resolv'd to fear no more those whom he saw so easily overcome by calling for the Assistance of Jesus Christ." "CHAPTER VI. "Of the Four Penal Fields to which the Soldier was Dragged. "Then the Devils leaving this Hall with an hideous Cry, and an horrid Tumult separated themselves. Some of them dragged the Soldier thro' a vast Region, that was so dark and obscure, that he cou'd see nothing but the Devils. There blew a burning Wind in it, which cou'd scarce be heard, but yet so dry that it seemed to Pierce his Body. From thence they dragged him towards those bounds of the Earth where the Sun rises at Midsummer, and being come thither, as unto the end of the World, they turn'd to the right Hand and extended themselves over a large Valley towards that part of the Earth where the Sun rises in the Middle of Winter. Here the Soldier began to hear, at a distance, the most lamentable Groans and Sighs of a vast Number of People; and the nearer he drew, the more he heard their doleful Lamentations. Being brought at last by the Devils to an exceeding long and large Field, whose bounds were out of sight, he there discover'd an infinite Number of Men and Women lying naked, flat on their Bellies, with great Iron Spikes red hot fastening their Hands and Feet to the Ground, and Miserably torturing them. Nay and observed them now and then, biteing the Earth for Rage and Pain, crying and bawling out; "Spare, spare; Pity, pity: when there was none by, who wou'd Spare or Pity. On the contrary, the Devils ran over them with great Scourges in their Hands lashing the Wretches, and saying to the Soldier: "Thus shalt thou be tortur'd if thou dost not agree to go back to the Door from when thou camest, and to which we will conduct thee in Peace." But the Soldier calling to mind how God had before delivered him, despised their Menaces: Then the Devils cast him down on the Ground, and began to torture him. But upon his invocating the Lord Jesus, they failed in their attempt. "Leaving then this Field, they drag him to another that was full of great Misery; for between this and the former, there was this difference, that whereas in the former the wretched People lay flat on their Bellies, here they sat only on their Buttocks, some whereof were surrounded with fiery Dragons, gnawing and biteing them after a lamentable manner. Others had fiery Serpents twisted about their Heads and Necks, fixing their Stings in their Hearts. Others in fine had monstrous big Vultures perching upon their shoulders, and sticking their horrid Bills in their Breasts as if they wou'd pull out their Hearts. Besides all this, the Devils went running over them with dreadful Scourges lashing and tormenting them, so as that the poor wretches never ceas'd Crying and Lamenting. All these Torments (say the Devils to the Soldier) shalt thou suffer, except thou consent to return from whence thou camest. The Soldier despised their Threats, and disabled them to do him any harm, by calling upon the Name of Jesus. "Quitting then this place, they led the Soldier to the third Penal Field. This was also full of People of both Sexes, who lay fastened to the ground with so many Iron Spikes on Fire, fix'd thro' them, and so thick set in their Bodies, that from Head to Foot there was scarce any where, the Breadth of a Finger, which had not been pierc'd. These Wretches cou'd indeed form a voice to cry; but it was such as Men in the Point of death usually do: They were naked also, like the rest, and were tortur'd over and above with a cold and burning Wind, besides what they suffer'd by the Scourges of the Devils. Now when the Devils wou'd torture the Soldier after this manner, by calling upon the Name of Jesus he escaped untouched. "They drag him along to the fourth penal Field, which was full of great Fires, in which all manner of Torments were to be seen. Some were here hung up in the Air by the Hands with red hot Iron Chains; others by the Hair; some by the Arms; others by the Legs with their Heads downwards, and dipped into boiling Sulphur. Some hung by their Nails, with Iron Crooks fixt in their Eyes, in their Ears, in their Jaws in their Nostrils, in their Breasts, and in other parts of their Bodies; others were fry'd in Pans; and others roasted by the Fire on red hot Spits, which some of the Devils turned, while others basted them with various melted Metals: Nor was the cruel scourging of the Devils wanting, even among the dreadful Cries and Lamentations of these wretched Souls. Here the Soldier saw many of his own companions and knew them; yea, and saw all manner of Torments that can be imagin'd, neither cou'd any Tongue express the various Cries and Lamentations which he heard. The Devils having then expos'd all these to the Soldier's view, said unto him: These, and a great many more torments shalt thou endure, except thou go back out of the Cave. But the Soldier despised their Threats, called upon the Name of Jesus, when the Torments began, and so escaped." "CHAPTER VII. "Of the Fiery-Wheel, Smokey-House, High Mountain, and Cold River to which the Devils dragged the Soldier. "Then the Devils carry'd away the Soldier to an Iron Wheel, that was red hot, and of a prodigious bigness. The Spokes and Stakes of this Wheel were tarnished all round with Iron Crooks set on Fire, and on them hung Men fixed. One half of the Wheel stood above, and the other under ground: the horrid sulphurous Flame which issued from the Earth and surrounded this Wheel, did exceedingly torment the Men that hung on it. The same (say the Devils to the Soldier) that these suffer if thou will not return, shalt thou endure, nay and even see first what it is. Then they fasten'd Iron Bars to the Spokes of the Wheel, and turn'd it about with such Celerity, that not one Man of those that hung upon it cou'd be discern'd from another; for the whole Wheel appear'd like a Circle of Fire: And when they had fasten'd the Soldier to it and, by turning it about, lift him up in the Air, he called upon the Name of Jesus, and came down unhurt. "From hence they dragged him towards a Certain House of an extraordinary breadth, and so long that the End of it was out of sight. When they drew near this House the Soldier stood still, being afraid to go forward in the excessive Heat that came out of it. Then the Devils said unto him: What thou seest are Baths, and whether thou wilt or no, thou shalt Bath in them, as others do that are there now. Immediately after, there were heard the most dismal Cries and Lamentations imaginable proceeding from thence; and being brought in, he saw a cruel and horrid sight. The Floor of this House was full of round Pits join'd so close together, that no Man cou'd walk between them: and each of these Pits was full of boiling Liquors made of various Mettals, in which were plunged an infinite Number of both Sexes, and of Divers Ages. Some were dipped down over Head; some to the Eyes only; Others to the Lips; Some to the Neck; Others to the Breast; Some to the Navel; Others to the Thighs; Some to the Knees; Others to half the Leg; Some had one Leg only in; Others both the Hands: And thus were all these boiling Pits or Cauldrons filled with wretched Sinners, who set forth such dismal Groans and Lamentations as were sufficient to chill the Blood of the most hard-hearted Man. Here (say the Devils to the Soldier) shalt thou Bath, and with that they lifted him up and endeavour'd to cast him into one of the Cauldrons, but upon hearing the Name of Jesus they cou'd not prevail. Whereupon they quit this House, and Carry the Soldier to an exceeding high Mountain, where they show him a Number of Men and Women far beyond any of the former. These Wretches sat Stark Naked with their Toes bent, and look'd towards the North, as if they expected every minute to expire that way. And while the Soldier stood wondering what they waited for, one of the Devils said unto him: Possibly thou wondrest what these People expect with so much trembling and fear, but if thou agree not to go back, thou shalt soon know to thy cost the cause of their Fear. The Devil had scarce made an end of these Words, when a Whirlwind from the North rushed upon them, and blew away the Devils, the Soldier, and all the People, and cast them over the other side of the Mount into a River, that stunk, and was intolerably cold: and as often as any of these wretched people attempted to raise themselves over the Water, the Devils immediately plunged them down. But the Soldier, who had always in mind his Divine Assistant, called upon his Redeemer Jesus Christ, and so found himself ashore on the Other Side of the River." "CHAPTER VIII. "Of the Pit that cast up Flames, and of the High Bridge to which the Devils led the Soldier. "The Devils were not as yet satisfied with all the injuries they had offer'd to the Soldier of Jesus Christ, and therefore dragged him towards the South, where he saw before him a dreadful Flame of Sulphurous Matter rising out of a Deep Pit, and vomiting up Men red hot like Sparks of Fire, and as the force of the Flames abated, falling down again into the Pit. When they came near this Pit, the Devils said to the Soldier: 'This is the entrance to Hell; this is our Habitation: and for as much as thou hast hitherto carefully served us, here thou shalt for ever continue with us; for all those who serve us dwell here everlastingly. And when thou shalt once go in, thou shalt eternally perish both Body and Soul. Notwithstanding, if thou wilt obey now, and return to the Door of the Cave into which thou didst enter, thou may'st go safe home to thine own Dwelling.' The Soldier, who had so often experienced God's Assistance before, despised both their Threats and Promises. whereupon the Devils, enraged to see themselves so often contemned, cast themselves headlong into the Pit, and thrust the Soldier down before them. Who the further he descended the larger he observed the Pit to grow, and the more sensibly he felt the pain of the Fire: Here the poor Man was put to the extent of his patience; for the pain was so intolerably acute, that for a while he had quite lost his Senses, and was not able to pronounce the Name of Jesus! but Almighty God taking pity of him enabled him at last to utter in some manner that Divine Name: Whereupon the Flame shot him up so as that he fell upon the Brink of the Pit: but so disordered, that for awhile he knew not where he was, neither cou'd he tell whither to turn himself. Then a new and unknown Legion of devils rushing out of the Pit surrounded him, and asked what he did there? 'Our Companions (say they) told thee this was the Gate of Hell; but they told thee a lye, and thou shalt know it is so; for we are always accustomed to tell lyes, that we may deceive those we cannot by telling the Truth. This is not the Hell, but now we will bring thee to it.' And having so said, they dragged the Soldier along to a great and spacious River, that was cover'd all over with a stinking sulphurous Flame, and filled up with Devils and damned Souls. Know thou (say they unto him) that under this River lyeth Hell. Now there was a great and lofty Bridge over this River, in which three things appear'd very formidable, and almost impossible to be overcome by those who were to pass over it. The First, that the Surface of the Bridge was so slippery that it was impossible for any Man to fix his feet upon it; the Second, that the passage was so straight and narrow, that no Man cou'd stand or walk on it. The Third, that the Bridge was so high up over the River, as to create a Horror in any that shou'd look down. Thou must (added the Devils) go over this Bridge, and we will raise a mighty Wind which shall cast thee down into the River, where our Fellows that are there shall take thee and drown thee in Hell: For we are resolv'd to try how safe thou shalt think it for thee to attempt so dangerous a Thing: However, if thou wilt consent to go back to the Door of the Dave, thou shalt escape this Danger, and return safe home to thine own Country. "The faithful Soldier reflecting within himself, upon the great and many Dangers from which his Pious advocate Jesus Christ had deliver'd him, and calling often upon his Name boldly stepped in upon the Bridge, and began to walk forward, feeling nothing slippery under his Foot, but all firm and steady; because he firmly confided in God and steadily adhered to his Promise: Nay the Higher he went up the Bridge the broader he found the Passage; so as that in a short space the way was equal to a Road where several carts may meet and pass. Now the Devils who led the soldier by the Hands to the Bridge, not being able to walk with him thereon, stood at the Bridge Foot, expecting to see him fall down, but perceiving that he walked on without any Danger, they raised a Cry and Noise so dreadful that it put him into a greater fright than any of the Torments before had done. Yet when he found that the Devils stood still, and did not follow him, he went on securely, relying on the Assistance of his Divine Protector. The Devils also that were in the River under the Bridge, seeing him go on over their heads, ran about the Bridge, and cast their fiery crooks and Darts at him; but being protected by the Shield of Faith, he felt no harm, and so got clear of all their Ambushes." "CHAPTER IX. "Of the Celestial Glory and Terrestrial Paradise shewn to the Soldier, and of his Conference with the Bishops thereon. "The invincible Soldier being now deliver'd from the Snares of the unclean Spirits, saw before his Eyes an High Wall raised to the Skies, the Beauty and Structure whereof was beyond Estimation. Its Gate was adorn'd with costly Jewels, and divers precious Mettals, that afforded a most agreeable Prospect. Having approached, as it were within Half a Mile to it, the Gate seem'd to open, and sent forth so sweet a smell, that, as it seem'd to him, if all the Earth had been turn'd into Spice, it could hardly afford so agreeable a perfume, which so refresh'd his tired Limbs and Spirits, that he believed he could with ease undergo again all the Torments he had endured. And looking in at the Gates, he discover'd a Door which excelled the brightness of the Sun. As he stood then at a little distance from the Gate, there came out to meet him so beautiful, so great, and so orderly a Procession, as was never to be parallel'd to his thinking in this World, with Crosses, Wax Tapers, Banners, and Golden Palm Branches in the Hands of the Men that led this Procession. After these follow'd Men of all Degrees and Orders, some Archbishops, some Bishops, Abbots, Monks, Chanons, Priests, and Clerks of every Degree, all cloathed in the sacred Apparel proper to their Respective Degrees and Orders; and like in Shape and Colour to those they wore, when they serv'd God here on Earth. Being come up to the Soldier, they all embraced him with unspeakable joy, and conducted him into the Gate with a concert of so Melodious an Harmony, as could not be equalled by any in this World. "When the Musick ceased, and the Procession ended, two Archbishops took the Soldier apart, in order, as was thought to shew him this new World and the Glory of it, but first they blessed God, who had strengthen'd his soul with so much constancy, in all the Torments thro' which he passed, and which he so resolutely bore. "They then conducted him over all the pleasant places of this new World, where his Eyes were so charmed, and all his Senses so ravished that, in his opinion, neither the Tongues of the ablest Orators cou'd explain, nor the Pens of the Nimblest Scriveners indite the Glory and Splendor of the Things which he had seen and heard. So great was the light of this happy Region, that as the light of a candle is Eclipsed by that of the Sun, so was the light of the Sun by the brightness of this. The Night doth never overshade this Land, for the light of a Pure and Serene Sky keeps it constantly bright. All the Land was like a pleasant Green Meadow diversified by various sorts of Flowers, Fruits, Trees and Herbs; whose very perfumes, saith the Soldier, wou'd keep him alive, were he allowed to dwell always there. The Bounds of the Country he did not see for the greatness of its Extent, only of that part by which he enter'd it; but discover'd in it so great a multitude of both Sexes as he believes no Man ever saw in his Life, or ever was together in any Age; of whom some dwelt apart in one Community, and some in another; yet so as they passed from one society to another, as they pleased. And by this means, it came to pass, that they all enjoy'd one another's company; and choirs joyn'd with choirs to sing God's Praise: And as one Star differs from another in brightness; so was there an agreeable and harmonious variety and difference in the Habits and Countenances of those thrice happy People. For some of them seem'd to be clothed in Golden Vests; others, in Purple, some in Scarlet; others in Blew; some in Green, and others in White. And the Shape and Fashion of each habit was the same as that which they wore in the World; so that the Soldier cou'd easily discern of what Dignity, Order, and Degree, each of them had been. Some wore Crowns like Kings, others carry'd Golden Palms in their Hands. Glorious then and agreeable to the Eye, was the sight of the inexpressible Harmony of their Melody, in Singing the Praises of their Lord and Maker. Each of them rejoiced at his own Happiness, and at that of every other. And all of them, who saw the Soldier, Praised God upon his coming among them, and rejoiced at his Deliverance from the Devils. Here was neither Heat nor Cold, nor anything else that cou'd incommode or molest; but all things peaceable, quiet, still, agreeable. Many more things did the Soldier, see and hear in this happy Region than any Tongue or Pen cou'd express. "When he had then satiated his Eyes and Ears, the Bishops spoke to him after this manner." * * * * * "After this discourse the venerable Prelates took the Soldier up to the Top of a Mountain, commanded him to look up and tell them what colour the Sky over his head appear'd to him to be of. The Soldier answer'd that it appear'd to him to be of the colour of Gold in a fiery Furnace. 'That (say they) which thou see'st is the Gate of Paradise. By this Gate those that are taken up from us go into Heaven. And you are to know further, that while we continue here, we are constantly fed once a day with Food from Heaven, but that you may know what sort of Food, and how pleasant it is, you shall, God willing, Feel and Taste it with us.' "These words were no sooner pronounced, when Certain Rays like flames of Fire cover'd the whole Region, and after a while dividing into smaller Rays sat upon the Heads of every one in the Land, and at last enter'd into them. And among the rest, sat upon the Soldier's Head also, and enter'd into him. The Soldier was wrapt up in such extasie at the Sweetness of this Food, that he cou'd not tell whether he was dead or alive, but this soon passed over. This is the Food (added they) with which God feeds us once a day; but they that are carryed hence from us enjoy it without End. The Soldier wou'd willingly stay there if he were allowed to enjoy the deliciousness of that Food. But instead of so sweet and desirable, mournful things are related unto him. "For as much then (beloved Brother continue the Prelates), as thou hast partly seen what thou didst desire to see, namely, the Rest of the Blessed, and the Torments of Sinners; thou must now return by the same Way thou camest hither; and if thou wilt for the future lead a sober and godly Life; thou shalt be secure not only of this Rest; but also of the Heavenly Mansions; but if thou wilt, which God forbid, lead an ill Life and pollute thy Body with Sin; behold thou hast seen the Torments that attend thee. Thou may'st now safely return; for thou need'st not fear any of those Things; wherewith the Devils attempted to frighten thee in thy way hither; because they dare not approach thee any more, being afraid to appear before thee; neither can all the Torments which thou hast seen hurt thee. The Soldier was astonished at these Words, and began with Tears and Crys humbly to beseech the Bishops, not to oblige him to return again to the Cares of the World from so great a happiness. 'I cannot leave this place', said he, 'for I fear I shou'd be intangled in the snares of the World, so as to hinder me to come back here'; It shall not be as thou wouldest, replied the Bishops; but as He who hath made thee and us disposes, so shall it be; for He alone knows what is most expedient for us all." "CHAPTER X. "How the Soldier went out of this Purgatory, made a Pilgrimage to Jerusalem, and how he spent the rest of his days. "Then Owen, the Soldier, having received their Blessing, set out, and return'd the same way he came. The Prelates conducted him to the Gate of Paradise, and shut it after him; and being sad and grieved to be obliged to return again to the Miseries of this World, he went back the same way till he came to the Hall, where he was first infested by the Devils. He saw indeed the Devils on the way, but so soon as they saw him, they vanished as if they had been afraid of him. He also passed thro' the Places where he was before tormented; but now they had no Power to hurt him. Being then come to the said Hall, he went in boldly and Lo the fifteen Men, who had instructed him in the beginning, met him, glorifying God, who had given him so much constancy in his Torments, and having congratulated him upon his victory, said unto him: 'Courage, Brother. We know thou hast overcome the Torments which thou hast so manfully born; and that thou art purged of all thy Sins. The Sun begins now to rise in thy Country: Make haste then up to the Cave: For if the Prior, who when he hath said Mass, shall come to the Door, finds thee not there, he will lock the Door, as Despairing of thy salvation; and return to the Church.' The Soldier hereupon, having first got their Blessing, hasten'd up to the Cave, and at the very Minute that the Prior open'd the Door, the Soldier appear'd. The Prior embraced him, glorified God, and conducted him to the Church, and caused him to continue there fasting and praying for fifteen Days. Then the Soldier put on his Shoulder the mark of the Cross of Christ and went with great Devotion to the Holy Land, to visit the Sepulchre of our Lord Jesus Christ at Jerusalem, and all the holy Places round about it. Which when he had Devoutly performed he came back, and went to Stephen, King of England, to whom he had been before familiarly known, to advise with him, after what Manner he might best for the future, Warfare for the King of Kings, as he had heretofore carry'd Arms for him. "It happen'd at the same time, that Gervasius Abbot of Lude, had got by King Stephen's Recommendation a Place in Ireland for the building of a Monastry. This Abbot sent one of his Monks, called Gilbert, to the King, to be recommended by him to the King of Ulster, and then to proceed from thence to Ireland in order to erect the said Monastry: who being Kindly received by the King, complained very much that he was a stranger to the Irish Language; I shall find you, by God's help, says the King, an excellent Interpreter. Then he called Owen, the Irish Soldier, commanded him to go with Gilbert, and to continue with him in Ireland. Owen readily obey'd the King's Orders, adding with all, that he was obliged in gratitude to serve the Monks, whose Charity he had so often and so remarkably experienced. They then went over to Ireland, and began to build the Monastry, which they finished in two years and a half. The Monk Gilbert took care of the things within the Monastry; and Owen the Soldier was a trusty Procurator, and devout Minister of the Things abroad; as also a faithful Interpreter: And having taken the Habit of a Monk; he lived an Holy and Religious Life all the rest of his days, as the said Gilbert testifieth. Whenever this Gilbert and the Soldier happen'd to be alone; Gilbert was very inquisitive to know from him the particulars of all the Things he had seen and felt in this Purgatory; and the Soldier who upon pronouncing the word Purgatory, used to burst out into Tears, told him all that he had seen and felt, which Yet he wou'd willingly have concealed, had he not been persuaded, that it might tend to the Edification, and Amendment of the Lives of many. Nay and affirmed upon his Conscience, that he had seen with his corporal Eyes all the Things which he related. Now it was by the Care and Industry of this Monk, and upon the Testimony and Credit of the Bishops of this part of the Kingdom, who had the account from the Soldier's own Mouth, and that of the other Religious and godly men of those Times that these things were committed to Posterity." The last chapter, which is "Of the Examination and Manifold Proofs of this History," concludes with the following observations by Messingham himself. "This History of Owen the Soldier, as to that part of it that is related by Henry Salteriensis, I borrow'd from an ancient Manuscript of the said Author now extant in the Library of St. Victor, and that related by Mathew Paris, I took from his printed History of England: But if after all, any Man chuse rather to oppose, than piously to believe the same, let him consult the Holy Fathers, St. Gregory, Venerable Bede, Dionysius Carthusianus, and carefully read the various Revelations, Visions, and Relations not unlike these recorded by them; to which as to things very probable they themselves were not afraid to give Credit, and which they would not presume to deny." Calderon was not the only celebrated poet who made the Purgatory of St. Patrick the subject of his song. Four centuries before the great Spanish dramatist was born, a most elaborate and very lengthy poem was written on the same attractive theme by Marie de France, the first woman, as M. de Roquefort says,who ever wrote French verse, the Sappho of her age.* Nor was Marie herself the only minstrel of that early time who yielded to the fascination of this legend. Two anonymous Trouveres of a little later period were unconsciously her rivals in the attempt. M. l'Abbe de la Rue, in his valuable work on Norman and Anglo-Norman Poetry, thus writes:- [footnote] *"Poesies de Marie de France", par B. De Roquefort. Paris, 1820. t.i., p.1. "Quoique la celebre Marie eut, au XIIIe siecle, donne une assez ample histoire du Purgatoire de St.-Patrice, puisqu'elle est de plus de trois mille vers, deux autres Trouveres anglo-normands qui probablement ne connaissaient pas son poeme, volurent dans le siecle suivant traiter le meme sujet."** [footnote} **"Essais Historiques sur les Trouveres", etc., par M. L'Abbe de la Rue. Caen, 1834. t. iii., p. 245. These poems, still unedited, are to be found in the Cottonian and Harleian MSS. The reader is also referred to the very interesting and exceedingly rare volume, 'Owain Miles' (Edinburgh, 1837), and 'The Visions of Tundale' (Edinburgh, 1843), in the Prefaces to both of which, by the late lamented W.B.D.D. Turnbull, much curious information on the subject will be found. * * * * * THE AUTHORITIES FOR THE LEGEND, AS GIVEN BY CALDERON. ACT III., SCENE X. (the concluding lines.) The list of authorities at the end of the third act has been, and not without reason, a source of great perplexity. Calderon is blamed even by so thoughtful a critic as Mr. Ticknor for putting into the mouth of Enius himself the names of a number of writers who have in some way alluded to the Purgatory of St. Patrick, all of whom were of periods long subsequent to the time at which he represents himself to have lived, several of them being the very writers who nearly a thousand years later described his own adventures. But this is quite usual on the Spanish stage. There is scarcely a drama of Calderon that does not end in the same way. The last speaker, whoever he may be, and he is frequently the 'gracioso', abandons, for the last few lines of his speech, his assumed character, and addresses the audience as an actor in a brief epilogue. The list of authorities at the end of "El Purgatorio de San Patricio" is nothing more. It is simply an epilogue, perhaps a little longer than usual, which the curious nature of the subject to some extent justifies. The manner in which the names are printed is a different matter. But the reader should recollect that this drama was not printed by Calderon himself, but by his brother Joseph, who certainly in this instance at least considered it no part of his duty as editor to verify the correctness of the poet's references. Some of the confusion certainly is attributable to Calderon himself, as he has separated and transposed names for the purpose of adapting them to his versification. But other mistakes remain behind which we may fairly divide between Don Joseph and the printer. The original lines, as given in all the editions, that of Hartzenbusch included, are the following:- "Para que con esta acabe La historia, que nos refiere Dionisio el gran Cartusiano, Con Enrique Saltarense, Cesario, Mateo Rodulfo, Domiciano Esturbaquense, Membrosio, Marco Marulo, David Roto, y el prudente Primado de toda Hibernia, Belarmino, Beda, Serpi, Fray Dimas, Jacob Solino, Mensignano, y finalmente La piedad y la opinion Cristiana, que lo defiende." Some of these names are obvious enough; it is with regard to those that are rendered more obscure by the manner in which they are presented that the difficulty arises. The list is taken for the most part from the fourth chapter of Montalvan's "Vida y Purgatorio de San Patricio", but with the names singularly disconnected and misplaced. They are turned, too, so completely into Spanish as to be scarcely recognised. Even in Messingham's "Florilegium", where they are all to be found, though not in one place, they are not always correctly printed. The following attempt at identification, now made for the first time, will be found, it is believed, to be perfectly accurate. The first name, "Dionisio el gran Cartusiano," scarcely requires any explanation. The work referred to, in an edition of which I have a copy, is as follows:- "D. Dionysii Carthusiani liber utilissimus de quatuor hominis novissimis, etc.," Parisiis, 1551. The account "De Purgatorio Sancti Patritii" extends from fol. 235 to fol. 237. "Enrique Saltarense" is Henry of Saltrey, a Benedictine monk of the Abbey of Saltrey in Huntingdonshire, who about the middle of the twelfth century first reduced to writing the Adventures of Owain, or Enius, in the Purgatory of St. Patrick. Of him Messingham writes thus. Referring to his authorities, he says:- "What you shall find under the letter B, is taken from Henry Salteriensis, an English monk of the Cistercian order, who had been taught most excellent Precepts of a good Life as well as good Letters by Florentianus, an Irish bishop, and Gilbert de Luda [Louth, in Lincolnshire], Abbot of the Cistercian Monks, who also, being himself well instructed, used to teach others the fear of the Lord as the beginning of wisdom. . . . . And hence it is that he wrote unto Henry Abbot of Sartis one Book of the Purgatory of St. Patrick and one Book of the Pains of Purgatory. He flourished in the year of Grace 1140." - "A Brief History of St. Patrick's Purgatory". Paris, 1718. Preface. "Cesario," which carelessness or the exigency of metre has separated from the "Esturbaquense," of the next line is Caesarius of Heisterbach, a well-known hagiological writer of whom Adrien Baillet thus speaks:- "Un religieux Allemand de l'ordre de Citeaux nomme 'Cesaire de Heisterbach', qui mourut du tems de l'empereur Frederic II. travailla aussi a la vie des Saints." He adds in a note:- "Cesaire se fit moine l'an 1198, au Val de Saint de Pierre, dit autrement Heisterbach, pres de la ville de Bonne, dans le diocese de Cologne, et ne mourut que pres de quarante ans apres. Il avoit ete maitre des novices dans son couvent, et ensuite prieur de la maison de Villiers." - 'Discours sur l'histoire de la Vie des Saints. Les Vies Des Saints'. Paris, 1739. T. i., p. xlvii. "Mateo Rodulfo," printed as the names of one author in Calderon, separate into two persons in Messingham and Montalvan. The first is the well-known Mathew Paris, whose 'Relation of the vision of Owen the Irish Soldier' is expressly referred to in these words by Messingham, who also alludes to him more fully in his preface. 'What you shall find under the letter C,' says Messingham, 'is borrowed from Mathew Paris, an English Benedictine Monk, who had from his youth consecrated himself to a Monastic life, and polish'd most excellent talents of nature with exquisite Arts and Sciences, and adorn'd the same with all Christian virtues; being an Handicraft, a Writer, a good Painter, a fine Poet, an acute Logician, a solid Divine; and (which is much more valuable) pure in his Manners, bright in the innocence of his life, simple and candid. Pitseus, upon the year 1259, in which the said Mathew died, gives him a great many more encomiums, which for brevity sake I hear omit.' The remaining half of 'Mateo Rodulfo' turns out to be Ranulphus or Ralph, Higden, the Monk of Chester, whose Polychronicon is quoted both by Messingham and Montalvan. The 'Domiciano' of the next line, which is 'Dominicano' in Montalvan, has so completely got rid of the name to which it belongs, that without the aid of Calderon's authorities, Messingham and Montalvan, it would be impossible to know who was meant. In Messingham the reference is to 'Jacobus Januensis, the Dominican, in the Life of St. Patrick,' and in Montalvan to 'Jacobo Januense, o Genuense, Dominicano.' The person thus disguised is the famous Jacobus de Voragine, the Dominican, author of 'The Golden Legend,' who was Bishop of Genoa in 1292, and died at a very advanced age in 1298. Of the 'Legenda Aurea', the fiftieth chapter is devoted to St. Patrick. 'Membrosio' is called 'Mombrisio' in Montalvan, and 'Mombrusius' in Messingham. Correctly it was neither. The writer referred to is 'Boninus Mombritius', a fine copy of whose 'Sanctuarium' is in the British Museum. At fol. 188, t. ii, there is a full account of the Purgatory, the name of the adventurous visitor being 'Nicolaus'. Of Mombritius, whom he calls Bonin Mombrice, the same writer (Baillet), from whom I have already quoted, says:- "Cet homme peu connu d'ailleurs etoit Milanois de naissance, conseiller on fils de conseiller au senat de Milan; il vivoit du tems de Galeas Marie, duc de Milan, qui fut tue l'an 1476, et du Pape Sixte IV., qui mourut en 1484. Il s'etoit deja fait regarder comme grammairien, poete, orateur et philosopohe par divers ouvrages, mais aucun ne lui fit tant d'honneur que son 'Sanctuaire', qui est le titre qu'il donna a son recueil d'actes des Saints dedie a Simonete, secretaire des ducs de Milan." - 'Discours', p. lvii. 'Marco Marulo' is Marcus Marulus, Cap. xiv., Lib. 6, of whose work, "De religiose vivendi institutione per exempla," is entitled "De revelationibus infernalium poenarum." - 'Apul Sanctam Coloniam. Anno M.D.XXXI. In this there is an account of a certain Irish monk, "cui Petro nomen fuit," who appears to have entered the Purgatory in vision. This is probably the passage which Messingham and Montalvan quote, though a different reference is given. 'Maurolicus Siculus', who follows next in Messingham and Montalvan, is omitted by Calderon. "David Roto, y el prudente Primado de toda Hibernia," are one and the same person. This was the famous David Rothe, Bishop of Ossory, so intimately connected in 1642 with the Confederation of Kilkenny, of which an excellent history has been written by the Rev. Charles Meehan, M.R.I.A. The epithet "prudente" seems to have been a happy condensation of the many terms of encomium lavished upon this celebrated man by Messingham. Alluding again to his classification of his authorities under the first four letters of the alphabet, Messingham says:- "Whatever then you shall find written under the letter A, until you come to the next letter, is taken from the Right Reverend Father David Roth, Lord Bishop of Ossory, and Vice Primate of all Ireland, a Man excellently well read in all parts of literature, an eloquent Rhetorician, a subtle Philosopher, a profound Divine, a celebrated Historian, a zealous chastizer of Vice, a steady Defender of Ecclesiastical Liberty, a constant Assertor of the Privileges of his Country, most devoutly compassionate upon the calamities of his Nation, a diligent Promoter of Peace and Unity among the Clergy, and, for that end, instituted the Congregation commonly called Pacifick, in the year 1620, which has, with no little fruit and advantage to the Clergy, spread itself over all the Kingdom, - a Man, in fine, who has left to Posterity many rare Monuments of his excellent talents, the Catalogue of which I shall not here, for good reasons, insert, but hope for more soon from him." "Belarmino," "Beda." Cardinal Bellarmin and Venerable Bede are too well known to require any observations. "Serpi, Fray Dimas," cut into two lines, with the names transposed, mean 'Fr. Dimas Serpi', one of whose works ('Aprodixis Sanctitatis, etc', Romae, M.DC. IX.), though not the one referred to by Messingham, is in the British Museum. In Montalvan the marginal note gives, "Lib. de Purgatorio, cap. 26," as the reference. The German translator of this drama (Brunn, 1824), misled by the punctuation of the original, treats Dimas Serpi as two persons. "Jacob Solino," the next authority for the legend, is perhaps the most perplexing in the list. Like twin stars that seem one to the naked eye, but resolve themselves into two beneath the telescope, so the single author of the printed text of Calderon appears distinct persons in the pages of Montalvan. He gives them thus: - "Jacobo," "Solino," with a separate reference to each. Thus to "Jacobo," the marginal reference is, "In sua historia Orientale;" and to "Solino," "cap. 35," without the name of the work. From Messingham we at once learn who the former writer was. He calls him in one place "Jacobus de Vitriaco," and in another more briefly, "Vitriacus." The passage referred to in the marginal note of Montalvan is given thus:- "Further, Jacobus de Vitriaco, in his History of the East, chap. 92, writes thus concerning this cave:- 'There is a certain Place in Ireland, call'd St. Patrick's Purgatory, into which whosoever enters, except he be truly penitent and contrite in Heart, is snatched away by Devils, and never returns. But he that with true contrition confesseth his sins, and goes in there, tho' the Devils vex and torture him, by Fire and Water, and many other Torments, yet is he purged of all his sins: Now they that are thus purged, and return, are never more seen to laugh or play; or to take pleasure in any thing in this World, but constantly weeping and sighing, forget the things that are behind, and stretch forward to the things that are before them.' - A Brief History of St. Patrick's Purgatory, Paris, 1718, pp. 9, 10. "Solino," who is so strangely united by Calderon's printer to "Jacob," presents some difficulty. In Messingham's list of authorities this name does not appear. The first French translator of Montalvan (Bruxelles, 1637) merely gives the Latin form of the name, "Solinus." The second French translator, Bouillon, in his 'Histoire de la vie et du Purgatoire de S. Patrice' (Troyes, 1642), turns both names into French, thus, "Jacques Solin, en son Histoire Orientale, chap. 26." This is doubly a mistake. The 'Histoire Orientale' is the work of Vitriacus, as already pointed out; and "chap. 26" refers not to that work, but to some unnamed writing of "Solino." Of course the first name that suggests itself, as the author alluded to, is that of Caius Julius Solinus. The latest date assigned as the period when this celebrated writer flourished is A.D. 238 - that is, about 135 years before the birth of St. Patrick. To quote him as an authority on the subject of St. Patrick's Purgatory would therefore be a more absurd anachronism than any that has been pointed out in this curious list. This difficulty appeared to me so strong, that for a while I was led to believe that "Solino" was but a corrupted Spanish form of "Joceline," or "Joscelino," as it is sometimes given, whose 'Life of St. Patrick', written in the twelfth century, supplies all the incidents of St. Patrick's early life recorded by Montalvan and Calderon. He is also frequently referred to by Messingham. But further reflection convinces me that the writer alluded to was in reality the celebrated Latin author of the third century already mentioned, Caius Julius Solinus. Solinus has of course no allusion to St. Patrick's Purgatory; but in his celebrated work, 'Polyhistor', compiled, it is thought, chiefly from Pliny's Natural History, he has a remarkable chapter on Ireland. Some of his statements are doubtful, and all are very curious; one of them at least depriving St. Patrick, by anticipation, of one of his most famous miracles. This is the banishment of the serpents, which it appears was first mentioned by Jocelin in the twelfth century. It is expressly stated by Solinus, who wrote in the third century, that in Ireland "There are no snakes and few byrdes," to use the language of the old English translator, Arthur Golding. This statement of the previous exemption of Ireland from venomous reptiles was warmly disputed by Dr. David Rothe, the Bishop of Ossory, early in the seventeenth century. It will be remembered that "David Roto" has already been quoted as an authority on the subject of St. Patrick's Purgatory, and it is his collateral controversy with Solinus that probably led Montalvan, and subsequently Calderon, to suppose that Solinus had in some way alluded to that legend. A valuable 'Life of St. Patrick', by P. Lynch (Dublin, 1828), contains many allusions to this subject, of which the following may be given as an example. "The objections which Doctor Roth raised to the testimony of Solinus have as slender a foundation in reason. For Solinus (saith he) not only mentions thisexemption of Ireland from venomous creatures, but says further, that in Ireland there are few birds, and no bees; and therefore concludes, that as he is mistaken in these latter particulars, so he is not to be believed in the former,"- p. 42. The author of this Life of St. Patrick goes on to say that Solinus may have been perfectly accurate in these statements. That other writers have alluded to the time when bees were first introduced into Ireland, and that the migration of some birds thither, among others the magpie, took place at a comparatively modern period. He does not add, however, that Solinus states that the very dust of Ireland was so distasteful to the bees, where they are now as much at home as in Hymettus, that if it is scattered about their hives even in another country they abandon their combs. Thus writes quaint Arthur Golding:- "There is not any Bee among them, and if a man bring of the dust of the stones from thence, and strew them among Bee-hyves, the swarme forsake ye combes." Another misstatement of Solinus may be pointed out. He says:- "The sea that is betweene Ireland and Britayne, being full of shallows and rough all the yeere long, cannot be sayled but a few dayes in the summer time." With the following picturesque passage referring to the warlike training of their children by the Irish, as recorded by a Roman writer in the third century of the Christian era, we take leave of Solinus, who we have no doubt was the author referred to by Montalvan and Calderon under the name of "Solino:"- "If a woman be delivered of a man childe, she layes his first meate upon her husband's sworde, and putting it softly to his prettie mouth gives him the first hansel of his sworde upon the very point of the weapon, praying (according to the manner of their country) that he may not otherwise come to his death, than in Battel and among weapons."- 'The Excellent and Pleasant Worke of Julius Solinus Polyhistor. Translated out of Latin into English by Arthur Golding, Gent.' At London, 1587. p. 105. The last name in the list of authorities on the subject of St. Patrick's Purgatory is "Mensignano," with the reference in the margin of Montalvan's 'Vida y Purgatorio' to his 'Florilegium'. This of course is Messingham, out of whose book, aided by his own wild imagination, Perez de Montalvan created the character of Luis Enius, who is presented to us with such dramatic power by Calderon. Notwithstanding the length of these notes, the following summary, taken with some corrections from the Introduction to the former translation of this drama (1853), may still be useful:- The curious history of Luis Enius, on which the principal interest of the play depends, has been alluded to, and given more or less fully by many ancient authors. The name, though slightly altered by the different persons who have mentioned him, can easily be recognised as the same in all, whether as Owen, Oien, Owain, Egan, Euenius, or Enius. Perhaps the earliest allusion to him in any printed English work is that contained in Ranulph Higden's "Polychronicon," published at Westminster, by Wynkin de Worde, in 1495: "In this Steven's tyme, a knyght that hyght Owen wente in to the Purgatory of the second Patrick, abbot, and not byshoppe. He came agayne and dwelled in the abbaye of Ludene of Whyte Monks in Irlonde, and tolde of joye and of paynes that he had seen." The history of Enius had, however, existed in MS. for nearly three centuries and a half before the Polychronicon was printed; it had been written by Henry, the monk of Saltrey in Huntingdonshire, from the account which he had received from Gilbert, a Cistercian monk of the Abbey of the Blessed Virgin Mary of Luden, or Louth, in Lincolnshire (Colgan, 'Trias Thaumaturgae', p. 281. Ware's 'Annals of Ireland', A.D. 1497). Colgan, after collating this MS. with two others on the same subject which he had seen, printed it nearly in full in his 'Trias', which was published at Louvain, A.D. 1647, where with the notes it fills from the 273rd to the 281st page. Messingham, as we have seen, had printed it earlier from other sources, in 1624. Matthew Paris, however, had before this, in his History of England, under the date 1153, given a full account of the adventures of Oenus in the Purgatory, and in the few places that I have compared his account with that given in Colgan, I find both generally agreeing in substance, though not in words. In the folio edition of Mathew Paris, London, 1604, the history of Oenus begins at the 72nd and ends at the 77th page. In Montalvan's life of St. Patrick, the adventures of Enius are given much more fully than either in Matthew Paris or Colgan. In their versions of the story the early life of Enius, previous to his undertaking to enter the Purgatory, is passed over with a few general remarks as to its extreme wickedness - while they give in great detail all that he saw and heard therein. Matthew Paris, for instance, opens the story of Enius in these words: "Miles quidam Oenus nomine, qui multis annis sub Rege Stephano militaverat - licentia a Rege impetrata, profectus est in Hyberniam ad natale solum, ut parentes visitaret. Qui cum aliquandiu in regione illa demoratus fuisset coepit ad mentem reducere vitam suam adeo flagitiosam: Quod ab ipsis cunabulis, incendiis semper vacaverat et rapinis, et quod magis dolebat, se ecclesiarum fuisse violatorem et rerum ecclesiasticarum invasorem praeter multa enormia quae intrinsecus latebant peccata," etc. - 'Mat. Par'., p. 72. In Henry of Saltrey's account, as given by Messingham in 1624 and Colgan in 1647, this portion of the life of Enius is despatched even with more succinctness, but in Montalvan's 'Vida y Purgatorio de San Patricio', all his early crimes are detailed nearly in the order and almost in the very words that Calderon has used. Sir Walter Scott mentions, in his Border Minstrelsy, that there is a curious MS. Metrical Romance, in the Advocates' Library of Edinburgh, called, "The Legend of Sir Owain," relating his adventures in St. Patrick's Purgatory; he gives some stanzas from it, descriptive of the knight's passage of "The Brig O'Dread;" which in the legend, is placed between Purgatory and Paradise. This poem is supposed to have been written late in the thirteenth century. It was printed for private distribution in Edinburgh, in 1837, but from the very limited impression, there having been but thirty-two copies struck off, it must always remain extremely scarce. A cognate work, however, "The Visions of Tundale" (Edinburgh, 1843), published by the same lamented scholar (Mr. Turnbull) who edited the former work, though rare, is more accessible. THE END. Publication Date: May 20th 2008 https://www.bookrix.com/-librarian

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-bianca-johnson-all-and-enough/

Bianca Johnson All and Enough Chapter 1 Its seven o'clock in the morning and Veronica hasn't been beat by her husband , yet . Veronica and Tyree , her husband , has been together since they were in high school . They had gotten married after they got out of college awhile back . Every since the day they had got married , he had been beating her . As she gets out of her bed , her face is sore . He hit her several times last night for not running his bath water correctly . She heads to the kitchen to find him sitting in a chair and her younger sister Victoria cooking breakfast . Finally Veronica says " Why you didn't cook , you are supposed to be the man . " . Tyree pulled up fast out of his seat and smacked her as hard as he could knocking her into to wall behind that hangs nude pictures of him that he had made her took . Victoria had rushed over to her but Tyree gave her a nice shove and sent her arm flying into the hot grease that bacon had been cooked in . She started screaming but he made his way over to her and covered up her mouth and whispered into her ear making her tear up in the eyes . As Veronica felt a little relieved, she started to get up . Before Tyree made his way out the door to work he said " And make sure you both be in the house by 8:30 , I have a surprise for the both of you ." and smiled . Victoria went over to Veronica to make sure she was okay , but by then she had made it to her feet walking upstairs to get dressed for work . A few minutes later Publication Date: October 31st 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-qtpie1997

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-skylar997-stolen-voices/

skylar997 Stolen Voices buried in To my loving mom and my best friends, lps123,coollps1234r5678, and scooter66137. The beginning Katelyn was born September 4,2003. Along with her brother,Cody she was a curious child. Her brothers name is Cody, born December 5,2003.He has light brown hair that shines in the sunlight.He has just like his sister, palish tanish skin and he likes the colors sunny sky blue and night sky blue.Katelyn had light brown-dark blonde hair. She had pale-tan skin and her favorite color is white, sunny sky blue, and dark sky blue. Katelyn was born an abused child. She was beaten 2-5 times a day. She wished for a better life, and when she was almost there, it all came crashing down.Her mom, Sylvanna(sl von a) died a few days after her brothers birth. She was left with her abusive, manipulative dad, John other known as Jeff. Jeff was born with abusive parents. He was mostly raised by his aunt, who was quite nice if you include, spankings,candy, and toys. She sounds good, but she spanked him quite often, once or twice a day. She would quit sometimes but then start again. One day he had to skip school because he cried so much his eyes could barely open. Katelyn didn't like his attitude, because he showed favoritism. He would barely spank Cody. Cody would not gloat though he would always stick up for Katelyn but sometimes when he did he would end up with a bar of soap in his mouth. Katelyn warned him, so he did as she wished. Soon John became worse, and started to smoke. He started the year Katelyn and Cody turned five,2008. They had gotten sick twice, because of soar throat. Cody soon had breathing problems and had to be put on an oxygen machine two times a day. Katelyn soon realized Cody had to hook it up himself, and one day John accidently cut the wire. Cody however didn't notice it and had to go to the hospital. He was in the hospital for two days and soon recovered. He only has to be put on an oxygen machine once a day, and has to take some medication. Katelyn worries John did it on purpose. When she went to school she was also beaten, and bullied. Nobody seemed to like her but Cody. They were like true brothers and sisters. They shared almost everything, clothes sometimes. Once Katy didn't have a lot of money for clothes when they went shopping, so Cody bought her some. They were the perfect two. They told secrets, played, and would never really fight. Cody was her best friend. It pretty much seemed like nothing could tear them apart. John questioned their relationship and soon moved Katelyn into a small room, where she slept on a small baby mattress in a corner. She could never sleep, she was only 5 years old and still needed a nightlight. Since Cody and Katelyn shared a nightlight, John gave it to Cody, as his favorite. It only got worse when Katelyn moved into elementary school. While Cody made A's and B's Katelyn made B's and C's and rarely A's. John soon switched her to home school, where she learned nothing. She would sneak to school in the morning with Cody, it was easy because John never looked for her. She would usually be at a store buying clothes or food for herself. She was lucky most of the stores were close by. One was three houses down. She also bought goods from her neighbor, Mrs.Dayla. Mrs.Dayla always wanted to open a store, so she opened one small store for the neighbors in her house. John however didn't know such thing of the store, but im pretty sure he could care less. She bought clothes that Mrs.Dayla would make or buy. Sometimes Katelyn would even work for her, by handing out flyers and getting it out in the open. Mrs.Dayla soon bought a small house and used it as her store. She named it after herself, Mrs.Dayla's House Of Goods. It wasn't really an official store, like a small only for neighbors store. Katy was an official member of the store. She helped buy stuff and she cleaned up and organized the shelves. She used half of her money to pay for clothes and food, and the other half for more clothes, cloth, and food for the store. She got forty dollars every two weeks. If she took off one week she got only twenty. So everything pretty much seemed good for her, not including her dad is a total jerk. She had a good job, and she was only five, she had a good brother, and she had enough money to buy her food. John just let her buy her own food, he didn't really care if she starved. Katelyn had a dream to make Mrs.Dayla's store an official store, when she got older. Katelyn loved organizing the shelves with pretty colors, and buying new decorations and paint. She liked painting the walls with murals and amusing pictures. She even made a stop motion movie with Mrs.Dayla's camera. It was one hour long and had over a million pictures. It took Katelyn a week including her regular organizing the shelves job. She was good at arts and crafts, so the characters looked unique. They looked like they were made by a child, but your going to expect that from a five year old. She used an old television she bought at goodwill for the people to watch while they shopped. If Mrs.Dayla didn't have cash to give Katy, she would let her get stuff from the shelves, but they all had to add up to twenty dollars. Katy was good at picking items, she got fifteen things. Most of it was for her "survival" So ya things were pretty good for Katy, but would that last?? Abandoned Katy questioned her luck, her dad hadn't spanked her in over a week. Katy got suspicious. It was winter, year of 2009. The air smelled like maple and oak. The leaves looked like dried flowers. The animals were disappearing and everything seemed normal. Katy had just moved into first grade. She was very smart in her class, in fact one of the smartest ones. She already knew how to divide and multiply in her head. She had to, because of her job. She had become smarter over the summer, Mrs.Dayla took 3 hours out of her day just to teach her. Now that John knew she went to school, he didn't mind it. He was acting suspicious. She made A's and B's. A few days after her birthday, Katy was trying out her new scooter that Mrs.Dayla had bought her. She very much enjoyed it. On her last run when she was going to go in and finish her homework she heard a nerve racking sound. It sounded like a house had just collapsed. The ground shook like thunder. The clouds were gray and it began to seem dark. Katy ran inside when she saw Her brother and Father under a table when she walked into the basement where her room was. She saw there was no room for her under the table. The walls caved in as she tried running towards another table......when she fell to the ground. It was a few hours later when Katy awoke. Katy had no severe injuries. She walked over towards her brother,Cody and hugged him. She pushed on his stomach as she saw on the movies she had watched. Amazingly he awoke. It was a miracle he had lived, with his breathing problems it is hard to survive something like that. She then approached her dad knowing if he died she would be an orphan. Even though he was mean to her she still had a place in her heart for him. She lay by his side wetting her hands and wiping the dirt off his face. She sat his back onto a rock as she saw him awake. His eyes opened with anger. He pushed her off with a loud roar,"HOW COULD YOU JUST STARE AT ME LIKE THAT! AND WHY IS THERE WATER ON MY FACE , UGH YOU STUPID MUTT!". She felt her heart as a tear dropped down her eye. As it dropped onto the floor she could almost feel the ground thunder. Cody gasped in shock as she stood herself up and ran out the door. She went to go look for Mrs.Dayla. Mrs.Dayla was standing on the ground looking lifeless as Katy saw her take a whiff of air. Katy had not noticed the smell of blood, dirt, and smoke in the air.An ambulance passed by as Katy slowly lifted her arm and waved. At that scene she limped over to Mrs.Dayla. She looked at the ambulance suddenly stop. Her eyes grew watery at the scene. She saw as the doctors came out in their boots stomping over wood. He came by and immediately noticed she was trying to speak. Her voice cleared up as she drank a sip from the bottle of water the doctor had provided. She whispered with a silent squeak,"My f-father and brother are in my house and they are a-almost not alive, and my friend is almost lifeless." The doctor shouted to the van,"I'LL TAKE THIS ONE, YOU GUYS GO TO THAT ONE AND SAVE THE FATHER AND HIS SON!" with that she fell into his arms as he carried her to the truck. She limped into the back seat as she watched them strap Mrs.Dayla to a stretcher. She soon passed out knowing nothing about her father or brother, where they were, when they would come back, or even if they were close by. She awoke to be in a hospital. She was in an oxygen machine. She was all cleaned up with stitches and about three scars and cuts. She was still hurting of course, who wouldn't. Yet she wasn't worried about herself, she was mainly worried about her dad and brother, well lets just say mainly her brother. She wasn't cold hearted though she thought about her dad too. She squealed to a nurse walking through the hall,"N-nurse w-where i-i-is my f-f-family?" The nurse nearly dropped her mouth at the sight. The nurse ran in and Katelyn soon realized she was not a nurse. She was Mrs.Dayla,"Oh sweetie, what happened where is John? Where is Cody, are you okay?". Katy smiled and silently whispered while coughing,"I don't know where they are or if they are even okay, but im glad you are it's just. Where are they?". Mrs.Dayla grinned,"I will go look for them ok?".Katy smiled and nodded her head. Mrs.Dayla walked out of the room, handing Katy a chewy mint. Katy plopped it in her mouth with a pucker. She saw as Mrs.Dayla walked out of the room and a doctor soon came in with a grin. Katy smiled,"I feel better already, well my attitude is. It's just my scratches and cuts kind of hurt." She read his name tag,"Mr.Calloway." He smiled,"Im glad you have a good attitude today then, and thank you for getting my name right. Anyways, your father and brother are ok, and of course you just saw your neighbor. So lets see how your doing. I checked your medical record, you are one healthy girl. Yet you have been to the doctor a lot of times for cuts, scratches, and broken bones, can you explain?" The room was silent as she thought of an excuse,"Ummmmm,I was in gymnastics..". He had a curious look on his face,"I also looked at your records, I didn't see anything about... gymnastics..." He cleared his face,"Your school must have forgotten I will call and see." She smiled awkwardly as he went to go find a nurse." I then heard Mrs.Dayla come back into the room,"Your dad is next door, room 4B and your brother, 5C, you of course 3A." I smiled,"Thanks, it's nice to know they are still with us." Katy sighed in regret and relief. The next day my family was released. Katy ran out of the room into 4B looking for her brother. He looked at her and a big gigantic white smile came across his face. She ran towards him nearly knocking him into John and hugged him tightly. A tear dropped from her eye as she looked up at her dad's expression. He looked angry, his face was red. She stopped hugging Cody and looked at her dad. He rolled his eyes at her. Katy went to the restroom while John was paying for the bill. She went outside to see only Cody walking out of the door. She ran towards him and returned hugging. She felt a sick feeling when Cody was somehow pulled away. She opened her eyes, to see him getting in the car without her. Cody rushed to her, but John pulled him away. She never knew that, that would probably be the last time she'd ever feel her brother's warm touch while he hugged her. She held out her hand as if she was saying,"Come..back." She ran out of the hospital running towards the car, chasing after it. Cody jumped to the back seat banging on the window shield and she could hear him,"NOO! WHERE ARE WE GOING! WHAT ABOUT SIS! WHAT ABOUT KATELYN! GO BACK GO BACK GO BACK!" She ran as long as she could till Mrs.Dayla came out looking at the car go away. Mrs.Dayla put her hand on Katy's shoulder. Katy wiped her tear, got on her knee's and screamed,"COME BAAAACCCKKKKKKKKKKKK!" Her brother could hear it and started banging more till he was pulled back by John at a stoplight. She couldn't just believe that her one and only brother, that she loved and cared for, was probably gone..forever. Huh? Mrs.Dayla set her hand on her shoulder and sighed,"Im so sorry, come inside i'll make you some soup to get it off your mind, ok?" Katy nodded her head and followed Mrs.Dayla inside. They sat down and starting slurping up soup sip after sip. Katy sighed,"Now im going to be an orphan, aren't I! PLUS im probably NEVER gonna see my BFB BEST FRIEND BROTHER EVER AGAIN!", Katy stated. Mrs.Dayla shifted her lip to the side,"hmm you can Umm stay with me, I have an extra blank bedroom. I mean when I was young I could use it for my child, but I can't have one. I know this is a step further for you as a child, but I've always wanted a child, please give it some thought.",Mrs.Dayla had a desperate look on her face as though she was saying please please please say yes! Katy nodded unsure and finished her soup. Almost everything in her house was burnt so she didn't really have a lot. Yet Mrs.Dayla said they had moved, and they left her stuff, so she could get it back. Mrs.Dayla even made sure by asking the new neighbors. All Katelyn had left was her book bag stuffed with some pencils, a writing journal, a poem book, and her binder with some paper sticking out of it. She had also gotten a few pictures of her and her brother together or maybe just of him. Sometimes just of her or of her dad, maybe sometimes them together when she was a baby. Mrs.Dayla's house was beautifully floored with shined wood and the furniture designed elegantly. The walls painted with murals and colorful designs. The couch laid black with a flat-screen television waiting at the end of the living room. Two recliners, one rocking chair, two couches, and one love seat. All matched the same beautiful design. The couch was of course black with six seats, the rocking chair was wooden with a small pillow tied to the seat and a small knitted blanket on top. The recliners were dark brown, almost black and the right one had a silk cover that laid on the seat. The television was black of course surrounded by two speakers, a play-station three, an Xbox 360 and one black Wii. The play-station laid in a black shelf under the television along with the Xbox and black Wii. Beside the Wii laid two blue handled remotes along with two pink rubber handled remotes. When she arrived at the bedroom there laid a beautiful cover with a design of flowers with blue and purple sewing. Among the curtains laid white with rose petaled handle that kept the curtains back. Underneath the blue and purple designed cover was beautiful, white, silk sheets tucked under the matching pillow cases which were also silk. The drawers were pure white with gold-colored handles that looked awfully like twine. She came inside looking at the soft, white, carpet. She laid her shoes on a wooden rack that on top showed a mural of Katy and Mrs.Dayla, framed with dark, red velvet wood. She sighed, for it was night time, the worst time that ever occurred to Katy. She cried herself to sleep with a weep. In the morning she wrote a note to give to her bully (made and edited by: lpsr123 PS:READ HER BOOKS) I am the girl you bully at school I am the girl who doesn't know how to be cool I am the girl who hid from her fears I am the girl who was scorned by her peers I am the girl who cried at night Saying it will be alright I am the girl who fell to the ground I am the girl who cried but never made a sound I am the girl in the back of class The one who said words hurt just like glass I am the girl you broke to parts But knowing you, this is just a start I am the girl you wished you never knew But im just a person, just like YOU (again credit to lpsr123! please read her books if your reading my series, bloodwolf or even if you like this book) Starting over She got up and got her new clothes. She put them on the shelf of the bathroom and then got a towel from the cabinets. She then took a shower and got in her new clothes. She had on a blue spaghetti strapped tank with a black skirt. Her skirt was designed with sky blue hearts and butterflies. Her shoes were black flats with small dark grey sparkles everywhere.On her head laid a black and blue feathered headband. One big feather on a black band that went across her head to both of her ears. Her hair was curled and flowed like a calm ocean. Her eyes shined as she stepped out of the bathroom beautifully. She put her dirty clothes in the laundry and put her old shoes on the rack in her room. She then chose her black, bag shaped book bag with silver glitter on the front spelling out "PEACE". For breakfast she had hash browns, sausage, and eggs. She drank milk. She had on a black pebbled necklace, mixed with many shades of blue. On her ears hung blue and black peace sign earrings that dangled from her ear almost the jack of an ear piece down. Every step she took toward the bus she thought,"They couldn't have moved that far away, could they?" Her arms trembled, letting go of Mrs.Dayla's also known as Gabby). When she got on the bus she had many of stares. Usually she would wear an old T-shirt, some raggedy pants, and some suppose to be white but brown flip flops. Yet today she was nicely dressed, her hair no longer in knots and her clothes beautiful. She looked around for somewhere to sit, everyone scooted, especially the boys. You see she was in first grade. Many boys before never really saw her, because she hid from them and walked to school. In her bag there was fresh smelling packets of paper, a new binder, and three glittery notebooks blue, silver, and violet. She had one packet of glitter pens, blue, red, black, purple, and silver. She also had two packets of number 2# led pencils that were filled with graphite, it also came with two packets of thirty pieces of 0.7 graphite. In the pocket of her book bag was her snack, one green apple and a tiny bottle of water. She also had in her other other hand a shined green apple that had no spots what so ever. She sat down next to a boy in blue jeans. By the look of him his hair was topped in front, like a wave and shorter in the back. He was attracted by other girls, with his hazel eyes. He had on a perfectly fit blue and white stripped shirt with sneakers that were white laced dark blue, and they were Sketchers. He was very clean cut with a white and black book bag. His book bag had black words written on the white background. The pockets were outlined by black sewing. The words would say, "stay strong, believe" or maybe,"you can make it, don't give up". Everything about him was unbelievably positive. His smile was bright as could be with lined up teeth and no gaps. His name was Chase, very well known by teachers, the principle, and of course students. She smiled, teeth bright with no gaps either,"Hello, my name is Katelyn but my friends call me Katy.", she muttered. He focused his attention on her, her beautiful voice caressed him like he was still a baby, being carried by his warm mothers arms. He smiled as she finished her sentence, closing her beautiful smooth lips that shined. He took a moment of silence to look at her then opened his mouth," I have heard of you, on the news, im so sorry about your current loss. My name is Chase, I haven't seen you before other then the news, are you new?" She shifted her soft lips to the side,"Well not exactly, I just had all this going on so I hid from people and stayed quiet, sometimes skipped school.." He blinked twice,"I feel for you, my mother died when I was two, but for some reason you remind me of her." She made her eyes shine and gulped nervously," Is that a bad thing, do i-i need to move?" He shook his head," Nooo not at all! It's a good thing, I don't have a lot of pictures of her." She blushed,"Thanks, anyways how was your mom?" He thought, then spoke," She was kind, beautiful, courageous, and outgoing like you, plus she looks kind of like you." Katy looked up at Chase, her eyes shining in a flattered kind of way. He looked into her eyes after nervously playing with his fingers. They both smiled and Chase thought in his mind,"She is so beautiful, just like my mom. She is soo, I can't even describe it, If I do it's not enough! Her eyes shine and they show innocence. Her hair flows like a calm ocean. Her soft cheeks like two small oranges, but softer and sweeter. Her lips, soft and smooth. She is elegantly dressed, like a flower girl. Her attitude is positive like never before, what is this feeling I have for her. It is like we are made to be best friends, like we were made for each other." While he thought about her, she thought much about him,"His hair is like a soft wave in a ocean. His eyes are so beautiful and shine like a sunset. His skin, so clear, smooth like a baby. He is so handsomely dressed like a prince. He seems so much like my brother, yet looks kind of different." The bus stopped suddenly and people crowded the entrance out of the bus. There was not even an entrance out of the seat, unless you climb or slide under."Come on, he won't see us under the seats.", said Cody with a smile. He slid his and Katy's bookbag under the seats and held her hand,"COME ON!" He tightened his grip and slid under the seat, pushing their bookbags ahead. He and Katy got to the front and pushed their way out of the bus. Then they ran inside, fast walking to their classroom. They dusted off their shirts, pants, or skirts and stretched their arms. Katy flipped her hair back and put her green apple on the teacher's desk with a smile,"Here you go Mr.Souther I washed it myself with cold water." He smiled,"Thank you dear, your seat is next to Chase." She waved to the teacher then sat at her desk."Oh wow this is weird, well in a good way." Chase smiled at her,"Ya, it is." Katy dumped out her stuff and put them neatly into her desk. She set her led pencil case, with all of her pencils, on her desk. Then she laid her book bag on a hanger in the shelf next to her teacher's desk. She sat at her desk as her teacher passed out the names of everyone in the class, also a morning work sheet. Katy waited impenitently to see if her brother was going to be in her class, if he was still in California by now. Finally Mr.Souther pulled up to her desk, but passed it to Chase. Chase then got the extra one and passed it to Katelyn. This was the big moment, the moment where she finds out if her brother is at this school, in her class, out of state, or maybe even alive. She looked at the name list, and Cody wasn't there. She double looked and then cried. Her teacher looked over at her and sighed,"Whats wrong?". Katelyn ran out of the room, running into... her brother. CODY! She hugged Cody as tight as she could and then let go. She then smiled,"YOUR BACK YOUR BACK YOUR BACK!" She hugged Cody again, for she just found what was missing in her life, the big whole in her heart. She had just found.... her stolen voice. Text: This book may not be copied, or written by any other writer. Unless they have my permission they may not copy my book. All rights reserved. Publication Date: December 16th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-skylar997

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-shasta-trammell-new-girls/

Shasta Trammell, Tabitha Braddock New Girls Chapter 1 Lyric POV I wake up with a pounding headache, inwardly cursing myself for having drank so much when I was out last night when I knew today was my first day at my new school. I struggle to make my legs work as I clamber out of bed, realizing I only have 45 minutes before class starts. I rush to my closet and grab a metallic gray minidress that had a neckline that was so low it shot past the inner half of my breasts and dipped down revealing my black dream catcher belly-button piercing. I throw on a pair of ripped fishnet stockings and matching thigh high stilettos with black chains that hang down. I quickly brush my hair into it's natural scene look, do my makeup and  grab my bag off my bed. As I am heading out, my mom thrusts a granola bar and a travel mug of coffee my way. I take it and gratefully hug her as I rush out to my new black, all leather interior, 2017 shelby cobra mustang. As soon as I turn the key, the car is filled with Down With the Sickness by Disturbed. I sing along as I speed to Water crest high. I pull into a parking spot with 20 minutes to spare. As I get out a group of guys check me out. Ugh I can practically hear their jaws hanging open as the saliva drops from their mouth. As I’m walking along girls start whispering and I am thinking fuck yeah bitches, I’m cuter than all ya’ll. As I'm walking along I see another girl who,like me, is obviously new, and I hate to admit it but I like her style. Kayden POV Waking up, I stretch and smile to think that I’m starting a brand new year off at a new school. YAY!! I get up and run through the shower blow dry my hair,loosely curling it , and then pick out a spirit jersey that say Denver Broncos on the back ( I wore it just because the won the Super Bowl yesterday) and a pair of jeans with my white converse as I’m tying my shoe, finish doing my makeup  , I look at my alarm clock and see that I only have 30 minutes to get to school. Running down stairs I grab a apple and a water and run out to my new white 2017 mustang gt350. As I get inside I put the keys in and “When I Was Your Man” by Bruno Mars plays I sing along as I pull up to the school I turn off my car and take a deep breath and open the door. I notice a really hot guy sitting on the hood of his car. Holy cow was this guy cute. I think no Kayden school and sports don’t worry about a boy. My phone goes off and I look down to see my mom texted me  saying good luck today I smile and put my phone in my back pocket. Unique’s POV My alarm goes off at 5:30am. I roll over and shut it off then I get up and head for the shower. Thirty minutes later i step out of the shower into a steam filled restroom with water running down my body from head to toe (literally, I washed my hair). I grab my towel and wrap it around me. I step over to the sink, brush my teeth and wash my face. I walk into my bedroom and switch on the light. I go to my make-up table and the process begins. Its takes me about an hour to get my face just the way I want it. It would take longer but my complexion is smooth.I straighten my hair. I go to my closet and open the door. I think to myself, it’s my first day at a new school I have to make a statement. Then it hits me. I grab this cute denim mini skirt ,that I bought at the mall last week, and this sexy tank top with the wedges to match. Once i'm dressed I realize I only have 15 minutes to get to school. I don't have time to cook so I grab a donut. I rush out the door to my fresh off the assembly line 2017 silver camaro. As I step out of the car I see this hot guy and his girlfriend. She’s talking to him but his attention is on me. At that moment I say to myself “this school could be interesting”. Lyrics Pov As I am walking down the hall, I see a girl who is dressed way too preppy but she seems pretty cool. I turn around quickly and BAM! I slam hard into both of the girls. we all fall and our books scatter everywhere, luckily I caught my coffee before it fell. “Hey slut, I know you didn’t just run into me like that.” The preppy one says throwing a smirk at the other girl. “We sure as hell did, so get over it bitch.” The other girl says. She puts out a hand to me and jerks me upward. I barely catch myself because of the 10” heel on my  stiletto. “I'm, Lyric, thanks by the way.” she grins “Unique, and anytime.” We share schedules and I find out we have all the same classes. She grabs my arm and we head into a classroom. All talking comes to a halt as all the students look us over like we are fresh meat. “Class, since I have had all of you at least three times, I realize we have two new students in this class, girls would you care to introduce yourself?” The teacher says, he has a sexy accent and bright blue eyes, his brown hair is combed back and I have to catch myself because I notice everybody is looking at me. I hear him let out a low, sexy chuckle. “My name is Lyric Latimer, I moved here from Brooklyn because my parents got offered jobs here to be professors at the local University.” I say making sure my voice sound sexy and dark. I hear a choke and turn to see a boy dressed in ripped skinny jeans, black combat boots, a black veil brides t-shirt, and he has a piercing in his lip, ears, and eyebrow. I lock eyes with him and shake  v my head, mesmerized by his piercing blue eyes. “Nice of you to join us Aiden, please take your seat. Girls you may choose your seats.” We scamper to the two desks next to each other and sit down.   Kayden's POV All I could think about was getting to my classes and figuring when cheer tryouts and other sport tryouts were. I look down at my schedule and figure out which class I have first, I run right into two other girls and man did it hurt. I get up and say “ Hey slut, I know you didn’t just run into me like that.” I say smirking at one of the girls I ran into. She was shouting out something back but I wasn’t paying attention. I realize I passed the gym which was my first class, I run back to the gym and meet the coach at the door. He smiles and shakes my hand and says “Hi I’m Coach  Hooper, I will be you coach for all sports. I smile and say Thanks and run off to change into my volleyball gear. I pull on my spandex, pull my shoes and knee pads on and change my shirt to a tank top. I run out on the gym floor and stretch, We start with varsity vs. jr varsity, I dominate the floor and the coach pulls me of to the side and calls me into his office. I get nervous when he closes the door, “You are very good Kayden”.He hands me a jersey with the number eight on it and explains that I am now the new captain of varsity. As I walk out he slaps my ass and I jump but I am okay because it give me this tingly feeling. He starts massaging my ass where he hit it, but I shake my head and step out of the office. I go to the locker room and change right as I get done changing the bell rings and I run out of the locker room and to my 2nd period.   Unique POV    I grab hold of the girl that the bitchy prep girl just tried to devour. As we enter the class I notice that she stumbles when she sees a sexy goth guy. I roll my eyes and pull her to the back of the class. We sit through class and I watch the guy and his girlfriend out of the corner of my eye. I notice that he keeps looking at me and shaking off her attention. I silently laugh in my head and me and Lyric walk out of class. I have to say she has style even if it is whore couture. We walk along and we run into the sexy goth again. Dammnnn!!! girl has taste. She steps away from me and I watch with slight amusement at the scene unrolling before me. She strolls up to him and his eyes widen and dart down to her double D’s before coming back up to her face. “ Hey it’s Aiden right , My names Lyric and I was wondering if you were doing anything for lunch because I would like to take you on a ride?” Line,hook, and sinker. He nods his head quickly and she winks and walks back to me. He stares at her ass as we walk and I laugh out loud. “Damn girl, skills, he was practically foaming at the mouth.” She laughs and we walk off.   Chapter 2   Lyric POV    Unique and I walk into the math class and I see the prep bitch sitting in a desk. I feel tension in the air and I see the girl I was warned about glaring daggers at prep bitch. “ Some Hoes think they can take over a team they don’t know shit about.” Oh no, she has sank the sword but I wait to see what happens. She gets up and strolls over to prep bitch and says “ So Kayden, you think that you can just come to my school and take over my team without even blinking?” Kayden steps up and then the girl, her name is whispered around and I find out her name is Ashley, she is a bigger girl and she seems to be throwing her weight around to scare people. I step forward “Bitch if she took over you team then she must be better than you, I mean she can’t help if you suck.” I say and automatically Unique steps up next to me and Kayden steps back to the other side of me.”Oh great just what we needed, a gothic slut who doesn’t know when it’s her time to sit and play good dog.” “AH Hell NAW , you did not just call me a dog, you fucken cow!” I say as my fist connects with her perfect little nose job. She screams and Kayden hugs me. “I am so sorry for being a bitch to y'all you are amazing!” I laugh and we all set together, other kids backing up as if to get away from my fist. I notice more that half the class tho is staring at us as if we were strippers in the club. Kayden’s POV As I walk into my next class I noticed that girl from 1st period ,man was she mad when I took her spot on the team. I sit in the back of the room and when I sit down I see the two girls I ran into this morning walking in. I could hear my name being said but I couldn’t really tell what they were saying so I didn’t say anything. Then this girl come up to me and starts saying how she’s pissed that I took her spot and other crap. Right as I stood up the girl I called a slut steps up and says something and then punches the girl right in the face. I rush up and hug her thankful for her saving my life. She laughs and we sit together and I roll my eyes at the way people are either ogling us or backing up as if we were explosives. “Thanks” I say as I sit down and the bell rings to start 2nd period. We sit through a dull math lesson and as I am picking up, Ashley comes back through the door and is heading on a beeline straight for Lyric. I nudge Lyric and she turns just as Ashley pulls her fist back. Unique grabs her wrist in mid air and puts it behind her back.   Unique’s POV   I grab Ashley’s wrist as she pulls back to hit Lyric and pin it behind her back. Man, some bitches just do not learn. “Did you really think you were going to hit me and get away with it bitch?” Lyric asks. I laugh as Ashley stutters. “You,you,you…” “To-to-today Junior,” I say as I put a little more pressure on her arm. She yelps and blacks out and I let her fall to the floor, her body hits the floor with a thump. I step over her, just as the bell rings and we all leave, the class staring at us in shock.  The next 3 classes pass by uneventful and we meet up at lunch.   Kayden’s POV I meet up with the girls and we get food I look at what they got and see that they got a bunch of different foods I am about to comment but the Lyric states “Before you mention the food, it’s because this is a new school and we weren’t sure what we would like, so we got it all.” I silently curse myself for letting what I was thinking show. About ten minutes later Lyric looks over and I notice a goth guy waving at her. She waves at us and she goes over to him. They exit out the door and Unique leaves soon to. I notice Coach Hooper coming over too me and I get up. He walks towards his office obviously expecting me to follow him. I get up and follow him and as soon as I enter his office, he kicks the door shut and lifts me up , sitting me on the desk. We start greedily kissing but I pull away as thoughts of what could happen if we did this. “No, we could get into a lot of trouble, you could lose your job.” I tell him he nods and backs away. I hop off the desk and leave giving him a weak smile. I head to the bathroom and fix my make-up and head to my next class. Lyric POV I leave at lunch with Aiden following like a lost puppy behind me. We get into my car and I pull out of the parking lot. We park a few blocks away and as soon as I turn off the car, Aiden is on me and my dress is ripped off me leaving me in only my fishnets and stilettos.  He takes my nipple in his mouth and sucks hard. I arch my back in pleasure and moan. He starts trailing small kisses down my stomach heading for my dripping pussy.  He puts his head between my legs and starts softly sucking on my clit. I moan and orgasm. I pull him up and strip him to his boxers. I slip his dick out of his boxers and put it’s glistening tip into  my mouth and suck him off. He cums , hollering my name and pulling on my hair. We dress and head back to the school.   Unique’s POV I leave right after Lyric does and leave and go explore the campus. As I am walking I notice that guy that kept look at me. He starts walking towards me so I walk up to him and smashes into me and don’t kiss him back at first but then I start to kissing him back. Right as it starts getting heated I hear an annoyingly squeaky voice “That bitch! She is such a muthafukin hoe, coming in here, stealing my man AH HELL NAW!!” I turn around and say “He didn’t want your fat ass anyways” she comes at me and just as I am about to swing, De,shawn grabs me around the waist and says “Ashley, I told you we are over besides, Unique is bootylicious and you are just a fat-ass and you can’t even wear sweats because you look like you got a grandma’s booty.” I turn around and slip my tongue into his mouth and we back up into an empty classroom and he slams the door behind us, I mount the desk and pull his shirt off and he follows in suite pulling mine off me to. We hear the door open but don’t pay attention to it. We then hear footsteps and then hear a voice asking what the hell we were doing. I grab mine and De,shawn’s shirt and we run out of the room. As we leave the room I throw his shirt at him and put mine on and walk away.     Chapter 3 Kayden's POV School ended and I walk out to see the smokin hot guy on the hood of my car. "What the hell are you doing on my car?" I ask him, trying to not flip because I am so pissed off. He hops off and walks towards me as I get into my car. Man this school was fifty shades of fucked up. He gets into a baby blue mustang and follows me as I pull out I drive around trying to lkose hm. Wwhen I realize that he is not going to give up so I just go home. I pull in the driveway and get out and stand in front of my car with my arms crossed. "What do you want?" I ask him. "Well you are fuckin hot and I want to toss you onto a bed and fuck your brains out." He says blantely. I realize that this is my opportunity and invite him up o my bedroom. As soon as the door closes he throws me onto my bed and rips through my shirt and tears off my jeans. He hooks his thumbs into my underwear and takes them off while I take off my bra. He suck my nipple and gets me ready with his fingers. I orgasm and he thrusts in and pounds my dripping cunt so hard that the headboard hits the wall and we both orgasm in time to hear a car pull up. I look out the window to see my mom Pull up I rush to my closet and throw on some clothes while hot guy puts his clothes back on. "What's your name?" I ask him as he is going out my window. "Tucker" he says wih a wink. I choke on my mouthwash and he laughs before dissapperaibng out of site. My ex's name was Tucker. My mom comes up and asks about the car and I totally blow her off and go shower and eat a salad before slipping into bed.    Lyrics POV I head home after school with Aiden in the passenger seat. We get to my house and he gasps. “Oh yeah I forgot to mention my parents are loaded.” I laugh as I pull into my driveway. We get out and I take his hand as we head up to the mansion's front door. We step inside and he turns in a circle taking in the marble, statues and Picasso paintings. We go up the stairs to my room and I close the door. He looks around my room at my posters and then at my giant flat screen TV where Creed is playing He shuts it off and clicks play on my in wall speaker system. Back to Sleep by Chris Brown starts playing. Aiden shoves me onto my bed and I quickly pull him with me. I pull off his t-shirt and he rips my dress apart. I lay back in nothing but my heels and he takes off his pants and boxers. He starts sucking hard on my nipple and I arch my back in pleasure. I feel a warm wetness between my legs and puts his finger inside me and I buck against his hand. His dick is ginormous and I am in fucken heaven as he shoves his dick inside me and starts thrusting against me. I moan and he grunts. H goes hard and as I feel myself slipping into orgasm I tighten my walls around him and  he spills into me and I orgasm hard.  We fall together and start laughing as we cry. “I might sound crazy but I think I love you.” Aiden tells me. I nod and we fall asleep.   Kayden POV I wake up to my alarm and I jump out of bed and throw on a purple and green spirit jersey with matching green tights and a pair of purple converse. I put my hair into  messy bun and grab my bag, an apple, and a small frap from our machine and go and head to school. Tucker meets me at my car and holds my hand as he walks me to pre-cal. The day is already amazing.   Unique’s POV I decide to head home. On the way i stop to grab a bite to eat. I pull in the parking lot of Chicken Express. As I am walking in, I scan the building to see if there is any one that I know inside… there wasn’t. I go to the register and order my food and tell them that i want everything fresh. I go take  seat at an empty table because the lady said that there was going to be a 15 minute wait for my food. I sit with my back to the door. To my surprise i hear someone say “that was close”. I look up only to see De’shawn standing over my shoulder. I burst out laughing and agree with him. He ask what i am about to do.. I say that I am waiting on my food then i’m going to go home and watch  netflix and just chill for the night. He ask if he can have my number. I give it to him and just as he is about to sit down the lady tells me that my food is ready. I tell him that i have to go and that i will see him tomorrow. He says that he will text me… and with that i grab my food and my drink and walk out of the door. ….     Publication Date: March 22nd 2016 https://www.bookrix.com/-dia774747764e55

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-pedro-calderon-de-la-barca-the-two-lovers-of-heaven-chrysanthus-and-daria/

Pedro Calderón de la Barca The Two Lovers of Heaven: Chrysanthus and Daria Translator Denis Florence MacCarthy Calderon's Family Motto. "POR LA FE MORIRE". - FOR THE FAITH WELCOME DEATH. THIS motto is taken from the engraved coat of arms prefixed to an historical account of "the very noble and ancient house of Calderon de la Barca"-a rather scarce work which I have never seen alluded to in any account of the poet. The circumstances from which the motto was assigned to the family are given with some minuteness at pp. 56 and 57 of the work referred to. It is enough to mention that the martyr who first used the expression was Don Sancho Ortiz Calderon de la Barca, a Commander of the Order of Santiago. He was in the service of the renowned king, Don Alfonso the Wise, towards the close of the thirteenth century, and having been taken prisoner by the Moors before Gibraltar, he was offered his life on the usual conditions of apostasy. But he refused all overtures, saying: "Pues mi Dios por mi murio, yo quiero morir por el", a phrase which has a singular resemblance to the key note of this drama. Don Ortiz Calderon was eventually put to death with great cruelty, after some alternations of good and bad treatment. See "Descripcion, Armas, Origen, y Descendencia de la muy noble y antigua Casa de Calderon de la Barca", etc., que Escrivio El Rmo. P. M. Fr. Phelipe de la Gandara, etc., Obra Postuma, que saca a luz Juan de Zuniga. Madrid, 1753. D. F. M. C. TO HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW, IN GRATEFUL RECOLLECTION OF SOME DELIGHTFUL DAYS SPENT WITH HIM AT ROME, This Drama is dedicated BY DENIS FLORENCE MAC-CARTHY. TO LONGFELLOW. I. PENSIVE within the Colosseum's walls I stood with thee, O Poet of the West!- The day when each had been a welcome guest In San Clemente's venerable halls:- Ah, with what pride my memory now recalls That hour of hours, that flower of all the rest, When with thy white beard falling on thy breast- That noble head, that well might serve as Paul's In some divinest vision of the saint By Raffael dreamed, I heard thee mourn the dead- The martyred host who fearless there, though faint, Walked the rough road that up to Heaven's gate led: These were the pictures Calderon loved to paint In golden hues that here perchance have fled. II. YET take the colder copy from my hand, Not for its own but for THE MASTER'S sake,- Take it, as thou, returning home, wilt take From that divinest soft Italian land Fixed shadows of the Beautiful and Grand In sunless pictures that the sun doth make- Reflections that may pleasant memories wake Of all that Raffael touched, or Angelo planned:- As these may keep what memory else might lose, So may this photograph of verse impart An image, though without the native hues Of Calderon's fire, and yet with Calderon's art, Of what Thou lovest through a kindred Muse That sings in heaven, yet nestles in the heart. D. F. M. C. Dublin, August 24th, 1869. PREFATORY NOTE. THE PROFESSOR OF POETRY AT OXFORD AND THE AUTOS SACRAMENTALES OF CALDERON. Although the Drama here presented to the public is not an 'Auto,' the present may be a not inappropriate occasion to draw the attention of all candid readers to the remarks of the Professor of Poetry at Oxford on the 'Autos Sacramentales' of Calderon-remarks founded entirely on the volume of translations from these Autos published by me in 1867,[*] although not mentioned by name, as I conceive in fairness it ought to have been, by Sir F. H. Doyle in his printed Lectures.[+] In his otherwise excellent analysis of The Dream of Gerontius, Sir F. H. Doyle is mistaken as to any direct impression having been made upon the mind of Dr. Newman in reference to it by the Autos of Calderon. So late as March 3, 1867, in thanking me for the volume made use of by Sir F. H. Doyle, Dr. Newman implies that up to that period he had not devoted any particular attention even to this most important and unique development of Spanish religious poetry. The only complete Auto of Calderon that had previously appeared in English-my own translation of The Sorceries of Sin, had, indeed, been in his hands from 1859, and I wish I could flatter myself that it had in any way led to the production of a master-piece like The Dream of Gerontius. But I cannot indulge that delusion. Dr. Newman had internally and externally too many sources of inspiration to necessitate an adoption even of such high models as the Spanish Autos. Besides, The Dream of Gerontius is no more an Auto than Paradise Lost, or the Divina Commedia. In these, only real personages, spiritual and material, are represented, or monsters that typified human passions, but did not personify them. In the Autos it is precisely the reverse. Rarely do actual beings take part in the drama, and then only as personifications of the predominant vices or passions of the individuals whose names they bear. Thus in my own volume, Belshazzar is not treated so much as an historical character, but rather as the personification of the pride and haughtiness of a voluptuous king. In The Divine Philothea, in the same volume, there are no actual beings whatever, except The Prince of Light and The Prince of Darkness or The Demon. In truth, there is nothing analogous to a Spanish Auto in English original poetry. The nearest approach to it, and the only one, is The Prometheus Unbound of Shelley. There, indeed, The Earth, Ocean, The Spirits of the Hours, The Phantasm of Jupiter, Demogorgon, and Prometheus himself, read like the 'Personas' of a Spanish Auto, and the poetry is worthy the resemblance. The Autos Sacramentales differ also, not only in degree but in kind from every form of Mystery or Morality produced either in England or on the Continent. But to return to the lecture by Sir F. H. Doyle. Even in smaller matters he is not accurate. Thus he has transcribed incorrectly from my Introduction the name of the distinguished commentator on the Autos of Calderon and their translator into German-Dr. Lorinser. This Sir F. H. Doyle has printed throughout his lecture 'Lorinzer'. From private letters which I have had the honour of receiving from this learned writer, there can be no doubt that the form as originally given by me is the right one. With these corrections the lecture of Sir F. H. Doyle may be quoted as a valuable testimony to the extraordinary poetic beauty of these Autos even in a translation. LECTURE III.-Dr. Newman's Dream of Gerontius. "It is probable, indeed, that the first idea of composing such a dramatic work may have been suggested to Dr. Newman by the Autos Sacramentales of Spain, and especially by those of the illustrious Calderon; but, so far as I can learn, he has derived hardly anything from them beyond the vaguest hints, except, indeed, the all-important knowledge, that a profound religious feeling can represent itself, and that effectively, in the outward form of a play. I may remark that these Spanish Autos of Calderon constitute beyond all question a very wonderful and a very original school of poetry, and I am not without hope that, when I know my business a little better, we may examine them impartially together. Nay, even as it is, Calderon stands so indisputably at the head of all Catholic religious dramatists, among whom Dr. Newman has recently enrolled himself, that perhaps it may not be out of place to inquire for a moment into his poetical methods and aims, in order that we may then discover, if we can, how and why the disciple differs from his master. Now there is a great conflict of opinion as to the precise degree of merit which these particular Spanish dramas possess. Speaking as an ignorant man, I should say, whilst those who disparage them seem rather hasty in their judgments, and not so well informed as could be wished, still the kind of praise which they receive from their most enthusiastic admirers puzzles and does not instruct us. "Taking for example, the great German authority on this point, Dr. Lorinzer [Lorinser], as our guide, we see his poet looming dimly through a cloud of incense, which may embalm his memory, but certainly does not improve our eyesight. Indeed, according to him, any appreciation of Calderon is not to be dreamt of by a Protestant". Lectures, pp. 109, 110. With every respect for Sir F. H. Doyle, Dr. Lorinser says no such thing. He was too well informed of what had been done in Germany on the same subject, before he himself undertook the formidable task of attempting a complete translation of all the Autos of Calderon, to have fallen into such an error. Cardinal Diepenbrock, Archbishop of Breslau, who, in his "Das Leben ein Traum" (an Auto quite distinct from the well known drama "La Vida es Sueno") first commenced this interesting labour in Germany, was of course a Catholic. But Eichendorff and Braunfels, who both preceded Dr. Lorinser, were Protestants. Augustus Schlegel and Baron von Schack, who have written so profoundly and so truly on the Autos, are expressly referred to by Dr. Lorinser, and it is superfluous to say that they too were Protestants. Sir F. H. Doyle, in using my translation of the passage which will presently be quoted, changes the word 'thoroughly' into 'properly', as if it were a more correct rendering of the original. Unfortunately, however, there is nothing to represent either word in the German. Dr. Lorinser says, that by many, not by all, Calderon cannot be enjoyed as much as he deserves, because a great number of persons best competent to judge of his merits are deficient in the knowledge of Catholic faith and Catholic theology which for the understanding of Calderon is indispensible-"welche fuer Calderons Verstaendniss unerlaesslich ist". Sir F. H. Doyle says that to him these Autos are not "incomprehensible at all" (p. 112), but then he understands them all the better for being a scholar and a churchman. Sir F. H. Doyle thus continues his reference to Dr. Lorinser. "Even learned critics", he says, "highly cultivated in all the niceties of aesthetics, are deficient in the knowledge of Catholic faith and Catholic theology properly to understand Calderon" (Lectures, p. 110, taken from the Introduction to my volume, p. 3). "Old traditions", continues Dr. Lorinzer, "which twine round the dogma like a beautiful garland of legends, deeply profound thoughts expressed here and there by some of the Fathers of the Church, are made use of with such incredible skill and introduced so appositely at the right place, that . . . . frequently it is not easy to guess the source from whence they have been derived" (Lectures, p. 111, taken from the Introduction to my volume, p. 6). This surely is unquestionably true, and the argument used by Sir F. H. Doyle to controvert it does not go for much. These Autos, no doubt, were, as he says, "composed in the first instance to gratify, and did gratify, the uneducated populace of Madrid". Yes, the crowds that listened delighted and entranced to these wonderful compositions, were, for the most part, "uneducated" in the ordinary meaning of that word. But in the special education necessary for their thorough enjoyment, the case was very different. It is not too much to say that, as the result of Catholic training, teaching, intuition, and association, the least instructed of his Madrid audience more easily understood Calderon's allusions, than the great majority of those who, reared up in totally different ideas, are able to do, even after much labour and sometimes with considerable sympathy. Mr. Tennyson says that he counts- "The gray barbarian lower than the Christian child", because the almost intuitive perceptions of a Christian child as to the nature of God and the truths of Revelation, place it intellectually higher than even the mature intelligence of a savage. I mean no disrespect to Sir F. H. Doyle, but I think that Calderon would have found at Madrid in the middle of the seventeenth century, and would find there to-day, in a Catholic boy of fifteen, a more intelligent and a better instructed critic on these points, than even the learned professor himself. I shall make no further comments on Sir F. H. Doyle's Lecture, but give his remarks on Calderon's Autos to the end. "At the same time", says Sir F. H. Doyle, "Dr. Lorinzer's knowledge of his subject is so profound, and his appreciation of his favourite author so keen, that for me, who am almost entirely unacquainted with this branch of literature, formally to oppose his views, would be an act of presumption, of which I am, as I trust, incapable. I may, however, perhaps be permitted to observe, that with regard to the few pieces of this kind which in an English dress I have read, whilst I think them not only most ingenious but also surprisingly beautiful, they do not strike me as incomprehensible at all. We must accept them, of course, as coming from the mind of a devout Catholic and Spanish gentleman, who belongs to the seventeenth century; but when once that is agreed upon, there are no difficulties greater than those which we might expect to find in any system of poetry so remote from our English habits of thought. There is, for instance, the Divine Philothea, in other words, our human spirit considered as the destined bride of Christ. This sacred drama, we may well call it the swan-song of Calderon's extreme old age, is steeped throughout in a serene power and a mellow beauty of style, making it not unworthy to be ranked with that Oedipus Colonaeus which glorified the sun-set of his illustrious predecessor: but yet, Protestant as I am, I cannot discover that it is in the least obscure. Faith, Hope, Charity, the Five Senses, Heresy, Judaism, Paganism, Atheism, and the like, which in inferior hands must have been mere lay figures, are there instinct with a dramatic life and energy such as beforehand I could hardly have supposed possible. Moreover, in spite of Dr. Lorinzer's odd encomiums, each allegory as it rises is more neatly rounded off, and shows a finer grain, than any of the personifications of Spenser; so that the religious effect and the theological effect intended by the writer, are both amply produced-yes, produced upon us, his heretical admirers. Hence, even if there be mysterious treasures of beauty below the surface, to which we aliens must remain blind for ever, this expression, which broke from the lips of one to whom I was eagerly reading [Mr. Mac-Carthy's translation of] the play, 'Why, in the original this must be as grand as Dante', tends to show that such merits as do come within our ken are not likely to be thrown away upon any fair-minded Protestant. Dr. Newman, as a Catholic, will have entered, I presume, more deeply still into the spirit of these extraordinary creations; his life, however, belongs to a different era and to a colder people. And thus, however much he may have been directed to the choice of a subject by the old Mysteries and Moralities (of which these Spanish Autos must be taken as the final development and bright consummate flower), he has treated that subject, when once undertaken by him, entirely from his own point of view. 'Gerontius' is meant to be studied and dwelt upon by the meditative reader. The Autos of Calderon were got ready by perhaps the most accomplished playwright that ever lived, to amuse and stimulate a thronging southern population. 'Gerontius' is, we may perhaps say for Dr. Newman in the words of Shelley, 'The voice of his own soul Heard in the calm of thought'; whilst the conceptions of the Spanish dramatist burst into life with tumultuous music, gorgeous scenery, and all the pomp and splendour of the Catholic Church. No wonder therefore that our English Auto, though composed with the same genuine purpose of using verse, and dramatic verse, to promote a religious and even a theological end, should differ from them in essence as well as in form. There is room however for both kinds in the wide empire of Poetry, and though Dr. Newman himself would be the first to cry shame upon me if I were to name him with Calderon even for a moment, still his Mystery of this most unmysterious age will, I believe, keep its honourable place in our English literature as an impressive, an attractive, and an original production"-pp. 109, 115. I may mention that the volume containing Belshazzar's Feast, and The Divine Philothea, the Auto particularly referred to by Sir F. H. Doyle, has been called Mysteries of Corpus Christi by the publisher. A not inappropriate title, it would seem, from the last observations of the distinguished Professor. A third Auto, The Sorceries of Sin, is given in my Three Plays of Calderon, now on sale by Mr. B. Quaritch, 15 Piccadilly, London. The Divine Philothea, The Sorceries of Sin, and Belshazzar's Feast are the only Autos of Calderon that have ever been translated either fully, or, with one exception, even partially into English. D. F. MAC-CARTHY. 74 Upper Gardiner Street, Dublin, March 1, 1870. * AUTOS SACRAMENTALES: THE DIVINE PHILOTHEA: BELSHAZZAR'S FEAST. Two Autos, from the Spanish of Calderon. With a Commentary from the German of Dr. Franz Lorinser. By Denis Florence Mac-Carthy, M.R.I.A. Dublin: James Duffy, 15 Wellington Quay, and 22 Paternoster Row, London. + LECTURES DELIVERED BEFORE THE UNIVERSITY OF OXFORD, 1868. By Sir F. H. Doyle Bart., M.A., B.C L., Late Fellow of All Souls', Professor of Poetry. London: Macmillan & Co., 1869. THE TWO LOVERS OF HEAVEN.[1] INTRODUCTION. IN the "Teatro escogido de Don Pedro Calderon de la Barca" (1868), at present in course of publication by the Royal Academy of Madrid, Calderon's dramas, exclusive of the autos sacramentales, which do not form a part of the collection, are divided into eight classes. The seventh of these comprises what the editor calls mystical dramas, and those founded on the Legends or the Lives of Saints. The eighth contains the philosophical or purely ideal dramas. This last division, in which the editor evidently thinks the genius of Calderon attained its highest development, at least as far as the secular theatre is concerned, contains but two dramas, The Wonder-working Magician, and Life's a Dream. The mystical dramas, which form the seventh division, are more numerous, but of these five are at present known to us only by name. Those that remain are Day-break in Copacabana, The Chains of the Demon, The Devotion of the Cross, The Purgatory of St. Patrick, The Sibyl of the East, The Virgin of the Sanctuary, and The Two Lovers of Heaven. The editor, Sr. D. P. De La Escosura, seems to think it necessary to offer some apology for not including The Two Lovers of Heaven among the philosophical instead of the mystical dramas. He says: "There is a great analogy and, perhaps, resemblance between "El Magico Prodigioso" (The Wonder-working Magician), and "Los dos amantes del cielo" (The Two Lovers of Heaven); but in the second, as it seems to us, the purely mystical predominates in such a manner over the philosophical, that it does not admit of its being classified in the same group as the first (El Magico Prodigioso), and La Vida es Sueno (Life's a Dream)". Introduccion, p. cxxxvii. note. Whether this distinction is well founded or not it is unnecessary to determine. It is sufficient for our purpose that it establishes the high position among the greatest plays of Calderon of the drama which is here presented to the English reader in the peculiar and always difficult versification of the original. Whether less philosophical or more mystical than The Wonder-working Magician, The Two Lovers of Heaven possesses a charm of its own in which its more famous rival seems deficient. In the admirable "Essay on the Genius of Calderon" (ch. ii. p. 34), with which Archbishop Trench introduces his spirited analysis of La Vida es Sueno, he refers to the group of dramas which forms, with one exception, the seventh and eighth divisions of the classification above referred to, and pays a just tribute to the superior merits of Los dos amantes del cielo. After alluding to the dramas, the argument of which is drawn from the Old Testament, and especially to The Locks of Absalom, which he considers the noblest specimen, he continues: "Still more have to do with the heroic martyrdoms and other legends of Christian antiquity, the victories of the Cross of Christ over all the fleshly and spiritual wickednesses of the ancient heathen world. To this theme, which is one almost undrawn upon in our Elizabethan drama,-Massinger's Virgin Martyr is the only example I remember,-he returns continually, and he has elaborated these plays with peculiar care. Of these The Wonder-working Magician is most celebrated; but others, as The Joseph of Women, The Two Lovers of Heaven, quite deserve to be placed on a level, if not higher than it. A tender pathetic grace is shed over this last, which gives it a peculiar charm. Then too he has occupied what one might venture to call the region of sacred mythology, as in The Sibyl of the East, in which the profound legends identifying the Cross of Calvary and the Tree of Life are wrought up into a poem of surpassing beauty".[2] An excellent German version of Los dos amantes del cielo is to be found in the second volume of the "Spanisches Theater", by Schack, whose important work on Dramatic Art and Literature in Spain, is still untranslated into the language of that country,-a singular neglect, when his later and less elaborate work, "Poesie and Kunst der Araber in Spanien und Sicilien" (Berlin, 1865), has already found an excellent Spanish interpreter in Don Juan Valera, two volumes of whose "Poesia y Arte de los Arabes en Espana y Sicilia" (Madrid, 1868), I was fortunate enough to meet with during a recent visit to Spain. The story of SS. Chrysanthus and Daria (The Two Lovers of Heaven), whose martyrdom took place at Rome A.D. 284, and whose festival occurs on the 25th of October, is to be found in a very abridged form in the "Legenda Aurea" of Jacobus de Voragine, c. 152. The fullest account, and that which Calderon had evidently before him when writing The Two Lovers of Heaven, is given by Surius in his great work, "De Probatis Sanctorum Vitis", October, p. 378. This history is referred to by Villegas at the conclusion of his own condensed narrative in the following passage, which I take from the old English version of his Lives of Saints, by John Heigham, anno 1630. "The Church doth celebrate the feast of SS. Chrisanthus and Daria, the 25th of October, and their death was in the year of our Lord God 284, in the raigne of Numerianus, Emperor. The martyrdom of these saints was written by Verinus and Armenius, priests of St. Stephen, Pope and Martyr: Metaphrastes enlarged it somewhat more. St. Damasus made certain eloquent verses in praise of these saints, and set them on their tombe. There is mention of them also in the Romaine Martirologe, and in that of Usuardus: as also in the 5. tome of Surius; in Cardinal Baronius, and Gregory of Turonensis", p. 849. A different abridgment of the story as given by Surius, is to be found in Ribadeneyra's "Flos Sanctorum" (the edition before me being that of Barcelona, 1790, t. 3. p. 304). It concludes with the same list of authorities, which, however, is given with more precision. The old English translation by W. P. Esq., second edition: London, 1730, p. 369, gives them thus: "Surius in his fifth tome, and Cardinal Baronius in his 'Annotations upon the Martyrologies', and in the second tome of his Annals, and St. Gregory of Tours in his 'Book of the Glory of the Martyrs', make mention of the Saints Chrysanthus and Daria". The following is taken from Caxton's Golden Legende, or translation of the Legenda Aurea of Jacobus de Voragine. I have transcribed from the following edition, which is thus described in the Colophon: "The legende named in latyn Legenda Aurea, that is to say in englyshe the golden legende, For lyke as golde passeth all other metalles, so this boke excedeth all other bokes". "Finyshed the xxvii daye of August, the yere of our lord M. CCCCC. XXVII, the xix yere of the regne of our souverayne lord Kynge Henry the eyght. Imprynted at London in Flete Strete at the Sygne of the Sonne by Wynkyn de Worde". In the following extract the spelling is somewhat modernised, and a few obsolete words are omitted. "The Life of Saynt Crysant and Saynte Daria". Fo. cc. lxxxv. "Here followeth the lyfe of Saynt Crysaunt, and fyrst of his name. And of Saynte Daria, and of her name. "Of Crysaunt is said as growen and multyplyed of God. For when his father would have made hym do sacrifyce to the idols, God gave to hym force and power to contrary and gaynsay his father, and yield himself to God. Daria is sayd of dare to give, for she gave her to two thynges. Fyrst will to do evil, when she had will to draw Crysaunt to sacrifyce to the idols. And after she gave her to good will when Crysaunt had converted her to Almighty God. "Crysaunt was son of a ryght noble man that was named Polymne. And when his father saw that his son was taught in the faith of Jesu Chryst, and that he could not withdraw him therefrom, and make him do sacrifyce to the idols, he commanded that he should be closed in a stronge hold and put to hym five maidens for to seduce him with blandyshynge and fayre wordes. And when he had prayed God that he should not be surmounted with no fleshly desyre, anon these maydens were so overcome with slepe, that they myght not take neither meat ne drinke as long as they were there, but as soon as they were out, they took both meat and drinke. And one Daria, a noble and wise virgin of the goddess Vesta, arrayed her nobly with clothes as she had been a goddess, and prayed that she myght be letten enter in to Crysant and that she would restore him to the idols and to his father. And when she was come in, Crysant reproved her of the pride of her vesture. And she answered that she had not done it for pride but for to draw him to do sacrifyce to the idols and restore him to his father. And then Crysant reproved her because she worshipped them as gods. For they had been in their times evil and sinners. And Daria answered, the philosophers called the elements by the names of men. And Crysant said to her, if one worship the earth as a goddess, and another work and labour the earth as a churl or ploughman, to whom giveth the earth most? It is plain that it giveth more to the ploughman than to him that worshippeth it. And in like wise he said of the sea and of the other elements. And then Crysant and Daria converted to him, coupled them together by the grace of the Holy Ghost, and feigned to be joined by carnal marriage, and converted many others to our Lord. For Claudian, who had been one of their persecutors, they converted to the faith of our Lord, with his wife and children and many other knights. And after this Crysant was enclosed in a stinking prison by the commandment of Numerian, but the stink turned anon into a right sweet odour and savour. And Daria was brought to the bordel, but a lion that was in the amphitheatre came and kept the door of the bordel. And then there was sent thither a man to befoul and corrupt the virgin, but anon he was taken by the lion, and the lion began to look at the virgin like as he demanded what he should do with the caitiff. And the virgin commanded that he should do him no hurt but let him go. And anon he was converted and ran through the city, and began to cry that Daria was a goddess. And then hunters were sent thither to take the lion. And they anon fell down at the feet of the virgin and were converted by her. And then the provost commanded them to make a great fire within the entrance of the bordel, so that the lion should be brent with Daria. And the lion considering this thing, felt dread, and roaring took leave of the virgin, and went whither he would without hurting of any body. And when the provost had done to Crysant and Daria many diverse torments, and might not grieve them, at the last they without compassion were put in a deep pit, and earth and stones thrown on them. And so were consecrated martyrs of Christ". With regard to the exact year in which the martyrdom of SS. Chrysanthus and Daria took place, it may be mentioned that in the valuable "Vies des Saints", Paris, 1701 (republished in 1739), where the whole legend undergoes a very critical examination, the generally received date, A.D. 284, is considered erroneous. The reign of the emperor Numerianus (A.D. 283-284), in which it is alleged to have occurred, lasted but eight months, during which period no persecution of the Christians is recorded. The writer in the work just quoted (Adrien Baillet) conjectures that the martyrdom of these saints took place in the reign of Valerian, and not later than the month of August, 257, "s' il est vray que le pape Saint Etienne qui mourut alois avoit donne ordre qu' on recueillit les actes de leur martyre"-Les Vies des Saints, Paris, 1739, t. vii. p. 385. 1. Los dos amantes del cielo: Crisanto y Daria. Comedias de Don Pedro Calderon de la Barca. Por Don Juan Eugenio Hartzenbusch. Madrid, 1865, tomo 3, p. 234. 2. It may be added to what Dr. Trench has so well said, that Calderon's auto, "El arbol del mejor Fruto" (The Tree of the choicest Fruit), is founded on the same sublime theme. It is translated into German by Lorinser, under the title of "Der Baum der bessern Frucht", Breslau, 1861. THE TWO LOVERS OF HEAVEN. PERSONS. NUMERIANUS, Emperor of Rome. POLEMIUS, Chief Senator. CHRYSANTHUS, his son. CLAUDIUS, cousin of Chrysanthus. AURELIUS, a Roman general. CARPOPHORUS, a venerable priest. ESCARPIN, servant of Chrysanthus. DARIA, CYNTHIA, NISIDA, CHLORIS, } Priestesses of Diana. Two spirits. Angels. Soldiers, servants, people, music, etc. SCENE: Rome and its environs. ACT THE FIRST. SCENE I.-A Room in the house of Polemius at Rome. Chrysanthus is seen seated near a writing table on which are several books: he is reading a small volume with deep attention. CHRYSANTHUS. Ah! how shallow is my mind! How confined! and how restricted![3] Ah! how driftless are my words! And my thoughts themselves how driftless! Since I cannot comprehend, Cannot pierce the secrets hidden In this little book that I Found by chance with others mingled. I its meaning cannot reach, Howsoe'er my mind I rivet, Though to this, and this alone, Many a day has now been given. But I cannot therefore yield, Must not own myself outwitted:- No; a studious toil so great Should not end in aught so little. O'er this book my whole life long Shall I brood until the riddle Is made plain, or till some sage Simplifies what here is written. For which end I 'll read once more Its beginning. How my instinct Uses the same word with which Even the book itself beginneth!- "In the beginning was the Word" . .[4] If in language plain and simple Word means speech, how then was it In the beginning? Since a whisper Presupposes power to breathe it, Proves an earlier existence, And to that anterior Power Here the book doth not bear witness. Then this follows: "And the Word Was with God"-nay more, 't is written, "And the Word was God: was with Him In the beginning, and by HIM then All created things were made And without Him naught was finshed":- Oh! what mysteries, what wonders, In this tangled labyrinthine Maze lie hid! which I so many Years have studied, with such mingled Aid from lore divine and human Have in vain tried to unriddle!- "In the beginning was the Word".- Yes, but when was this beginning? Was it when Jove, Neptune, Pluto Shared the triple zones betwixt them, When the one took to himself Heaven supreme, one hell's abysses, And the sea the third, to Ceres Leaving earth, the ever-wing`ed Time to Saturn, fire to Phoebus, And the air to Jove's great sister?[5]- No, it could not have been then, For the fact of their partition Shows that heaven and earth then were, Shows that sea and land existed:- The beginning then must be Something more remote and distant: He who has expressly said 'The beginning,' must have hinted At the primal cause of all things, At the first and great beginning, All things growing out of HIM, He himself the pre-existent:- Yes, but then a new beginning Must we seek for this beginner, And so on ad infinitum; Since if I, on soaring pinion Seek from facts to rise to causes, Rising still from where I had risen, I will find at length there is No beginning to the beginning, And the inference that time Somehow was, ere time existed, And that that which ne'er begun Ne'er can end, is plain and simple. But, my thought, remain not here, Rest not in those narrow limits, But rise up with me and dare Heights that make the brain grow dizzy:- And at once to enter there, Other things being pretermitted, Let us venture where the mind, As the darkness round it thickens, Almost faints as we resume What this mystic scribe has written. "And the Word", this writer says, "Was made flesh!" Ah! how can this be? Could the Word that in the beginning Was with God, was God, was gifted With such power as to make all things, Could it be made flesh? In pity, Heavens! or take from me at once All the sense that you have given me, Or at once on me bestow Some intelligence, some glimmer Of clear light through these dark shadows:- Deity, unknown and hidden, God or Word, whate'er thou beest, Of Thyself the great beginner, Of Thyself the end, if, Thou Being Thyself beyond time's sickle, Still in time the world didst fashion, If Thou 'rt life, O living spirit, If Thou 'rt light, my darkened senses With Thy life and light enkindle!- (The voices of two spirits are heard from within, one at each side.) First Voice. Hear, Chrysanthus . . . Second Voice. Listen . . . CHRYSANTHUS. Two Voices, if they are not instincts, Shadows without soul or body, Which my fancy forms within me, Are contending in my bosom Each with each at the same instant. (Two figures appear on high, one clothed in a dark robe dotted with stars; the other in a bright and beautiful mantle: Chrysanthus does not see them, but in the following scene ever speaks to himself.) First Voice. What this crabbed text here meaneth By the Word, is plain and simple, It is Jove to whose great voice Gods and men obedient listen. CHRYSANTHUS. Jove, it must be Jove, by whom Breath, speech, life itself are given. Second Voice. What the holy Gospel means By the Word, is that great Spirit Who was in Himself for ever, First, last, always self-existent. CHRYSANTHUS. Self-existent! first and last! Reason cannot grasp that dictum. First Voice. In the beginning of the world Jove in heaven his high throne fix`ed, Leaving less imperial thrones To the other gods to fill them. CHRYSANTHUS. Yes, if he could not alone Rule creation unassisted. Second Voice. God was God, long, long before Earth or heaven's blue vault existed, He was in Himself, ere He Gave to time its life and mission. First Voice. Worship only pay to Jove, God o'er all our gods uplifted. Second Voice. Worship pay to God alone, He the infinite, the omniscient. First Voice. He doth lord the world below. Second Voice. He is Lord of Heaven's high kingdom. First Voice. Shun the lightnings of his wrath. Second Voice. Seek the waves of his forgiveness. [The Figures disappear. CHRYSANTHUS. Oh! what darkness, what confusion, In myself I find here pitted 'Gainst each other! Spirits twain Struggle desperately within me, Spirits twain of good and ill,- One with gentle impulse wins me To believe, but, oh! the other With opposing force resistless Drives me back to doubt: Oh! who Will dispel these doubts that fill me? POLEMIUS (within). Yes, Carpophorus must pay For the trouble that this gives me.- CHRYSANTHUS. Though these words by chance were spoken As an omen I 'll admit them: Since Carpophorus (who in Rome Was the most renowned, most gifted Master in all science), now Flying from the emperor's lictors, Through suspect of being a Christian, In lone deserts wild and dismal Lives a saintly savage life, He will give to all my wishes The solution of these doubts:- And till then, O restless thinking Torture me and tease no more! Let me live for that! [His voice gradually rises. ESCARPIN (within). Within there My young master calls. CLAUDIUS (within). All enter. (Enter Polemius, Claudius, Aurelius, and Escarpin). POLEMIUS. My Chrysanthus, what afflicts thee? CHRYSANTHUS. Canst thou have been here, my father? POLEMIUS. No, my son, 't was but this instant That I entered here, alarmed By the strange and sudden shrillness Of thy voice; and though I had On my hands important business, Grave and weighty, since to me Hath the Emperor transmitted This decree, which bids me search Through the mountains for the Christians Hidden there, and specially For Carpophorus, their admitted Chief and teacher, for which cause I my voice too thus uplifted- "Yes, Carpophorus must pay For the trouble that this gives me"- I left all at hearing thee.- Why so absent? so bewildered? What 's the reason? CHRYSANTHUS. Sir, 't is naught. POLEMIUS. Whom didst thou address? CHRYSANTHUS. Here sitting I was reading to myself, And perchance conceived some image I may have addressed in words Which have from my memory flitted. POLEMIUS. The grave sadness that o'erwhelms thee Will, unless it be resisted, Undermine thy understanding, If thou hast it still within thee. CLAUDIUS. 'T is a loud soliloquy, 'T is a rather audible whisper That compels one's friends to hasten Full of fear to his assistance! CHRYSANTHUS. Well, excitement may . . . POLEMIUS. Oh! cease; That excuse will scarce acquit thee, Since when one 's alone, excitement Is a flame that 's seldom kindled. I am pleased, well pleased to see thee To the love of books addicted, But then application should not To extremes like this be driven, Nor should letters alienate thee From thy country, friends, and kinsmen. CLAUDIUS. A young man by heaven so favoured, With such rare endowments gifted, Blessed with noble birth and valour, Dowered with genius, rank, and riches, Can he yield to such enthralment, Can he make his room a prison, Can he waste in idle reading The fair flower of his existence? POLEMIUS. Dost thou not remember also That thou art my son? Bethink thee That the great Numerianus, Our good emperor, has given me The grand government of Rome As chief senator of the city, And with that imperial burden The whole world too-all the kingdoms, All the provinces subjected To its varied, vast dominion. Know'st thou not, from Alexandria, From my native land, my birth-place, Where on many a proud escutcheon My ancestral fame is written, That he brought me here, the weight Of his great crown to bear with him, And that Rome upon my entry Gave to me a recognition That repaid the debt it owed me, Since the victories were admitted Which in glorious alternation By my sword and pen were given her? Through what vanity, what folly, Wilt thou not enjoy thy birth-right As my son and heir, indulging Solely in these idle whimseys?- CHRYSANTHUS. Sir, the state in which you see me, This secluded room, this stillness, Do not spring from want of feeling, Or indifference to your wishes. 'T is my natural disposition; For I have no taste to mingle In the vulgar vain pursuits Of the courtier crowds ambitious. And if living to myself here More of true enjoyment gives me, Why would you desire me seek for That which must my joys diminish? Let this time of sadness pass, Let these hours of lonely vigil, Then for fame and its applauses, Which no merit of my own, But my father's name may bring me. POLEMIUS. Would it not, my son, be fitter That you should enjoy those plaudits In the fresh and blooming spring-time Of your life, and to hereafter Leave the loneliness and vigil? ESCARPIN. Let me tell a little story Which will make the whole thing simple:- A bad painter bought a house, Altogether a bad business, For the house itself was bad: He however was quite smitten With his purchase, and would show it To a friend of his, keen-witted, But bad also: when they entered, The first room was like a kitchen, Black and bad:-"This room, you see, sir, Now is bad, but just permit me First to have it whitewashed over, Then shall my own hand with pictures Paint the walls from floor to ceiling, Then you 'll see how bright 't will glisten".- To him thus his friend made answer, Smiling archly: "Yes, 't will glisten, But if you would paint it first, And then whitewash o'er the pictures, The effect would be much better".- Now 's the time for you, my lord, To lay on the shining pigment: On that brilliant ground hereafter Will the whitewash fall more fitly, For, in fine, the poorest painting Is improved by time's slow finger. CHRYSANTHUS. Sir, I say, that in obedience To your precepts, to your wishes, I will strive from this day forward So to act, that you will think me Changed into another being. [Exit. POLEMIUS. Claudius, my paternal instinct Makes me fear Chrysanthus' sadness, Makes we tremble that its issue May result in total madness. Since thou art his friend and kinsman Both combined, make out, I pray thee, What occasions this bewitchment, To the end that I may break it: And my promise now I give thee, That although I should discover Love's delirious dream delicious May be at the root,-most likely At his age the true suspicion,- It shall not disturb or grieve me. Nay, since I am doomed to witness His dejection, it will glad me To find out that so it springeth. ESCARPIN. Once a high priest of Apollo Had two nephews soft and silly, More than silly, wretched creatures, More than wretched, doltish drivels; And perceiving from experience How love smartens up its victims, He but said to them this only, "Fall in love at least, ye ninnies".- Thus, though not in love, sir, now, I 'll be bound he 'll be so quickly, Merely to oblige you. POLEMIUS. This Is not quite as I would wish it, For when anything has happened, The desire to know it, differs From the wish it so should happen. CLAUDIUS. I, my lord, my best assistance Offer thee to strive and fathom From what cause can have arisen Such dejection and such sadness; This henceforth shall be my business To divert him and distract him. POLEMIUS. Such precisely are my wishes: And since now I am forced to go In obedience to the mission Sent me by Numerianus, 'Mid the wastes to search for Christians, In my absence, Claudius, Most consoling thoughts 't will give me, To remember that thou watchest O'er Chrysanthus. CLAUDIUS. From this instant Until thy return, I promise Not to leave his side. POLEMIUS. Aurelius . . . AURELIUS. My good lord. POLEMIUS. Art sure thou knowest In this mountain the well-hidden Cave wherein Carpophorus dwelleth? AURELIUS. Him I promise to deliver To thy hands. POLEMIUS. Then lead the soldiers Stealthily and with all quickness To the spot, for all must perish Who are there found hiding with him:- For the care with which, ye Heavens! I uphold the true religion Of the gods, their faith and worship, For the zeal that I exhibit In thus crushing Christ's new law, Which I hate with every instinct Of my soul, oh! grant my guerdon In the cure of my son's illness! [Exeunt Polemius and Aurelius. CLAUDIUS (to Escarpin). Go and tell my lord Chrysanthus That I wish he would come with me Forth to-day for relaxation. ESCARPIN. Relaxation! just say whither Are we to go forth to get it; Of that comfort I get little- CLAUDIUS. Outside Rome, Diana's temple On the Salarian way uplifteth Its majestic front: the fairest Of our Roman maids dwell in it: 'T is the custom, as thou knowest, That the loveliest of Rome's children Whom patrician blood ennobles, From their tender years go thither To be priestesses of the goddess, Living there till 't is permitted They should marry: 't is the centre Of all charms, the magic circle Drawn around a land of beauty- Home of deities-Elysium!- And as great Diana is Goddess of the groves, her children Have to her an altar raised In the loveliest cool green thicket. Thither, when the evening falleth, And the season is propitious, Various squadrons of fair nymphs Hasten: and it is permitted Gallant youths, unmarried also, As an escort to go with them. There this evening will I lead him. ESCARPIN. Well, I doubt that your prescription Is the best: for fair recluses, Whose sublime pursuits, restricted To celestial things, make even The most innocent thought seem wicked, Are by no means likely persons To divert a man afflicted With this melancholy madness: Better take him into the thickest Throng of Rome, there flesh and bone Goddesses he 'll find, and fitter.- CLAUDIUS. Ah! you speak but as the vulgar: Is it not the bliss of blisses To adore some lovely being In the ideal, in the distance, Almost as a vision?- ESCARPIN. Yes; 'T is delightful; I admit it, But there 's good and better: think Of the choice that once a simple Mother gave her son: she said: "Egg or rasher, which will I give thee?" And he said: "The rasher, mother, But with the egg upon it, prithee". "Both are best", so says the proverb. CLAUDIUS. Well, if tastes did n't sometimes differ, What a notable mistake Providence would have committed! To adore thee, sweetest Cynthia, [aside Is the height of all my wishes: As it well may be, for am I Worthy, worship even to give her? [Exeunt. SCENE THE SECOND A Wood near Rome. (Enter NISIDA and CHLORIS, the latter with a lyre). NISIDA. Have you brought the instrument? CHLORIS. Yes. NISIDA. Then give it me, for here In this tranquil forest sphere, Where the boughs and blossoms blent, Ruby blooms and emerald stems, Round about their radiance fling, Where the canopy of spring Breathes of flowers and gleams with gems, Here I wish that air to play, Which to words that Cynthia wrote I have set-a simple note. CHLORIS. And the song, senora, say, What 's the theme? NISIDA. A touching strain,- How a nightingale in a grove Singing sweetly of his love, Sang its pleasure and its pain. Enter CYNTHIA (reading in a book). CYNTHIA (to herself). Whilst each alley here discloses Youthful nymphs, who as they pass To Diana's shrine, the grass Turn to beds of fragrant roses,- Where the interlac`ed bars Of these woods their beauty dowers Seem a verdant sky of flowers- Seem an azure field of stars. I shall here recline and read (While they wander through the grove) Ovid's 'Remedy of Love.' NISIDA (to Chloris). Hear the words and air. CHLORIS. Proceed. NISIDA (singing). O nightingale, whose sweet exulting strain Tells of thy triumphs to the listening grove, Thou fill'st my heart with envy and with pain. But no; but no; for if thou sing'st of love, Jealousy's pangs and sorrow's tears remain. CYNTHIA (advancing). What a charming air! To me What an honour! From this day I may well be vain, as they May without presumption be, Who, despite their numerous slips, Find their words can please the ear, Who their rugged verses hear Turn to music on thy lips. NISIDA. 'T is thine own genius, not my skill, That produces this effect; For, without it, I suspect, Would my voice sound harsh and shrill, And my lute's strings should be broken With a just and wholesome rigour, For presuming to disfigure What thy words so well have spoken. Whither wert thou wending here? CYNTHIA. Through the quiet wood proceeding, I the poet's book was reading, When there fell upon my ear, Soft and sweet, thy voice: its power, Gentle lodestone of my feet, Brought me to this green retreat- Led me to this lonely bower: But what wonder, when to listen To thy sweetly warbled words Ceased the music of the birds- Of the founts that glide and glisten? May I hope that, since I came Thus so opportunely near, I the gloss may also hear? NISIDA. I will sing it, though with shame. (Sings) Sweet nightingale, that from some echoing grot Singest the rapture of thy love aloud, Singest with voice so joyous and so proud, All unforgetting thou mayst be forgot, Full of thyself and of thy happy lot! Ah! when thou trillest that triumphant strain To all the listening lyrists of the grove, Thou fill'st my heart with envy and with pain! But no; but no; for if thou sing'st of love. Jealousy's pangs and sorrow's tears remain! Enter DARIA. DARIA. Ah! my Nisida, forbear, Ah! those words forbear to sing, Which on zephyr's wanton wing Thou shouldst waft not on the air. All is wrong, how sweet it be, That the vestal's thoughts reprove: What is jealousy? what is love? That they should be sung by thee? Think this wood is consecrated To Diana's service solely, Not to Venus: it is holy. Why then wouldst thou desecrate it With thy songs? Does 't not amaze Thee thyself-this strangest thing- In Diana's grove to sing Hymns of love to Cupid's praise? But I need not wonder, no, That thou 'rt so amused, since I Here see Cynthia with thee. CYNTHIA. Why Dost thou say so? DARIA. I say so For good cause: in books profane Thou unceasingly delightest, Verse thou readest, verse thou writest, Of their very vanity vain. And if thou wouldst have me prove What I say to thy proceeding, Tell me, what 's this book thou 'rt reading? CYNTHIA. 'T is The Remedy of Love. Whence thou mayst perceive how weak Is thy inference, thy deduction From my studious self-instruction; Since the patient who doth seek Remedies to cure his pain Shows by this he would grow better;- For the slave who breaks his fetter Cannot surely love his chain. NISIDA. This, though not put quite so strong, Was involved in the conclusion Of my lay: Love's disillusion Was the burden of my song. DARIA. Remedies and disillusions, Seek ye both beneath one star? Ah! if so, you are not far From its pains and its confusions: For the very fact of pleading Disillusion, shows that thou 'Neath illusion's yoke doth bow,- And the patient who is needing Remedies doth prove that still The sharp pang he doth endure, For there 's no one seeks a cure Ere he feels that he is ill:- Therefore to this wrong proceeding Grieved am I to see ye clinging- Seeking thou thy cure in singing- Thou thy remedy in reading. CYNTHIA. Casual actions of this class That are done without intention Of a second end, to mention Here were out of place: I pass To another point: There 's no one Who with genius, or denied it,- Dowered with mind, but has applied it Some especial track to go on: This variety suffices For its exercise and action, Just as some by free attraction Seek the virtues and the vices;- This blind instinct, or this duty, We three share;-'t is thy delight Nisida to sing,-to write Mine,-and thine to adore thy beauty. Which of these three occupations Is the best-or those that need Skill and labour to succeed, Or thine own vain contemplations?- Have I not, when morning's rays Gladdened grove and vale and mountain, Seen thee in the crystal fountain At thyself enamoured gaze? Wherefore, once again returning To our argument of love, Thou a greater pang must prove, If from thy insatiate yearning I infer a cause: the spell Lighter falls on one who still, To herself not feeling ill, Would in other eyes seem well. DARIA. Ah! so far, so far from me Is the wish as vain as weak- (Now my virtue doth not speak, Now but speaks my vanity), Ah! so far, I say, my breast Turns away from things of love, That the sovereign hand of Jove, Were it to attempt its best, Could no greater wonder work, Than that I, Daria, should So be changed in mind and mood As to let within me lurk Love's minutest, smallest seed:- Only upon one condition Could I love, and that fruition Then would be my pride indeed. CYNTHIA. What may that condition be? DARIA. When of all mankind, I knew One who felt a love so true As to give his life for me, Then, until my own life fled, Him, with gratitude and pride, Were I sure that so he died, I would love though he were dead. NISIDA. Poor reward for love so great Were that tardy recollection, Since, it seems, for thy affection He, till life is o'er, must wait. CYNTHIA. Soars thy vanity so high? Thy presumption is above All belief: be sure, for love No man will be found to die. DARIA. Why more words then? love must be In my case denied by heaven: Since my love cannot be given Save to one who 'll die for me. CYNTHIA. Thy ambition is a thing So sublime, what can be said?- Better I resumed and read, Better, Nisida, thou shouldst sing, This disdain so strange and strong, This delusion little heeding. NISIDA. Yes, do thou resume thy reading, I too will resume my song. DARIA. I, that I may not renew Such reproaches, whilst you sing, Whilst you read, in this clear spring Thoughtfully myself shall view. NISIDA sings. O nightingale, whose sweet exulting strain Tells of thy triumphs to the listening grove, Thou fill'st my heart with envy and with pain!- But no, but no, for if thou sing'st of love Jealousy's pangs and sorrow's tears remain! Enter CHRYSANTHUS, CLAUDIUS, and ESCARPIN. CLAUDIUS, to Chrysanthus. Does not the beauty of this wood, This tranquil wood, delight thee? CHRYSANTHUS. Yes: Here nature's lord doth dower and bless The world in most indulgent mood. Who could believe this greenwood here For the first time has blessed mine eyes? CLAUDIUS. It is the second Paradise, Of deities the verdant sphere. CHRYSANTHUS. 'T is more, this green and grassy glade Whither our careless steps have strolled, For here three objects we behold Equally fair by distance made. Of these that chain our willing feet, There yonder where the path is leading, One is a lady calmly reading, One is a lady singing sweet, And one whose rapt though idle air Gives us to understand this truth- A woman blessed with charms and youth, Does quite enough in being fair. ESCARPIN. You are quite right in that, I 've seen Beauties enough of that sort too. CLAUDIUS. If of the three here given to view, The choice were thine to choose between, Which of them best would suit thy taste? Which wouldst thou make thy choice of, say? CHRYSANTHUS. I do not know: for in one way They so with equal gifts are graced, So musical and fair and wise, That while one captivates the mind, One works her witcheries with the wind, And one, the fairest, charms our eyes. The one who sings, it seems a duty, Trusting her sweet voice, to think sweet, The one who reads, to deem discreet, The third, we judge but by her beauty: And so I fear by act or word To wrong the three by judging ill, Of one her charms, of one her skill, And the intelligence of the third. For to choose one does wrong to two, But if I so presumed to dare . . . CLAUDIUS. Which would it be? CHRYSANTHUS. The one that 's fair. ESCARPIN. My blessings on your choice and you! That 's my opinion in the case, 'T is plain at least to my discerning That in a woman wit and learning Are nothing to a pretty face. NISIDA. Chloris, quick, take up the lyre, For a rustling noise I hear In this shady thicket near: Yes, I 'm right, I must retire. Swift as feet can fly I 'll go. For these men that here have strayed Must have heard me while I played. [Exeunt Nisida and Chloris. CYNTHIA. One of them I think I know. Yes, 't is Claudius, as I thought, Now he has a chance: I 'll see If he cares to follow me, Guessing rightly what has brought Me to-day unto the grove:- Ah! if love to grief is leading Of what use to me is reading In the Remedies of Love? [Exit. DARIA (to herself). In these bowers by trees o'ergrown, Here contented I remain, All companionship is vain, Save my own sweet thoughts alone:- CLAUDIUS. Dear Chrysanthus, your election Was to me both loss and gain, Gave me pleasure, gave me pain:- It seemed plain to my affection (Being in love) your choice should fall On the maid of pensive look, Not on her who read the book: But your praise made up for all. And since each has equal force, My complaint and gratulation, Whilst with trembling expectation I pursue my own love's course, Try your fortune too, till we Meet again. [Exit. CHRYSANTHUS. Confused I stay, Without power to go away, Spirit-bound, my feet not free. From the instant that on me, As a sudden beam might dart, Flashed that form which Phidian art Could not reach, I 've known no rest.- Babylon is in my breast- Troy is burning in my heart. ESCARPIN. Strange that I should feel as you, That one thought should fire us two, I too, sir, have lost my senses Since I saw that lady. CHRYSANTHUS. Who, Madman! fool! do you speak of? you! Dare to feel those griefs of mine!- ESCARPIN. No, sir, yours I quite resign, Would I could my own ones too!- CHRYSANTHUS. Leave me, or my wrath you 'll rue; Hence! buffoon: by heaven I swear it, I will kill you else. ESCARPIN. I go:- For if you address her, oh! Could my jealous bosom bear it? [aside [Exit. CHRYSANTHUS (to Daria). If my boldness so may dare it, I desire to ask, senora, If thou art this heaven's Aurora, If the goddess of this fountain, If the Juno of this mountain, If of these bright flowers the Flora, So that I may rightly know In what style should speak to thee My hushed voice . . . but pardon me Now I would not thou said'st so. Looking at thee now, the glow Of thy beauty so excelleth, Every charm so plainly telleth Thou Diana's self must be; Yes, Diana's self is she, Who within her grove here dwelleth. DARIA. If, before you spoke to me, You desired my name to know, I in your case act not so, Since I speak, whoe'er you be, Forced, but most unwillingly (As to listening heaven is plain) To reply:-a bootless task Were it in me, indeed, to ask, Since, whoe'er you be, my strain Must be one of proud disdain. So I pray you, cavalier, Leave me in this lonely wood, Leave me in the solitude I enjoyed ere you came here. CHRYSANTHUS. Sweetly, but with tone severe, Thus my error you reprove- That of asking in this grove What your name is: you 're so fair, That, whatever name you bear, I must tell you of my love. DARIA. Love! a word to me unknown, Sounds so strangely in my ears, That my heart nor feels nor hears Aught of it when it has flown. CHRYSANTHUS. Then there is no rashness shown In repeating it once more, Since to hear or to ignore Suits alike your stoic coldness. DARIA. Yes, the speech, but not the boldness Of the speaker I pass o'er, For this word, whate'er it be, When it breaks upon my ear, Quick 't is gone, although I hear. CHRYSANTHUS. You forget it? DARIA. Instantly. CHRYSANTHUS. What! love's sweetest word! ah, me! Canst forget the mightiest ray Death can dart, or heaven display? DARIA. Yes, for lightning, entering where Naught resists, is lost in air. CHRYSANTHUS. How? what way? DARIA. Well, in this way: If two doors in one straight line Open lie, and lightning falls, Then the bolt between the walls Passes through, and leaves no sign. So 't is with this word of thine; Though love be, which I do n't doubt, Like heaven's bolt that darts about, Still two opposite doors I 've here, And what enters by one ear By the other ear goes out. CHRYSANTHUS. If this lightning then darts through Where no door lies open wide To let it pass at the other side, Must not fire and flame ensue? This being so, 't is also true That the fire of love that flies Into my heart, in flames must rise, Since without its feast of fire The fatal flash cannot retire, That has entered by the eyes. DARIA. If to what I said but now You had listened, I believe You would have preferred to leave Still unspoken love's vain vow. This you would yourself allow. CHRYSANTHUS. What then was it? DARIA. I do n't know: Something 't was that typified My presumption and my pride. CHRYSANTHUS. Let me know it even so. DARIA. That in me no love could grow Save for one who first would die For my love. CHRYSANTHUS. And death being past, Would he win your love at last?- DARIA. Yes, on that he might rely. CHRYSANTHUS. Then I plight my troth that I Will to that reward aspire,- A poor offering at the fire By those beauteous eyes supplied. DARIA. But as you have not yet died, Pray do n't follow me, but retire. [Exit. CHRYSANTHUS. In what bosom, at one moment, Oh! ye heavens! e'er met together[6] Such a host of anxious troubles? Such a crowd of boding terrors? Can I be the same calm student Who awhile ago here wended? To a miracle of beauty, To a fair face now surrendered, I scarce know what brought me hither, I my purpose scarce remember. What bewitchment, what enchantment, What strange lethargy, what frenzy Can have to my heart, those eyes Such divine delirium sent me? What divinity, desirous That I should not know the endless Mysteries of the book I carry, In my path such snares presenteth, Seeking from these serious studies To distract me and divert me? But what 's this I say? One passion Accidentally developed, Should not be enough, no, no, From myself myself to sever. If the violence of one star Draws me to a deity's service, It compels not; for the planets Draw, but force not, the affections. Free is yet my will, my mind too, Free is still my heart: then let me Try to solve more noble problems Than the doubts that love presenteth. And since Claudius, the new Clytie[7] Of the sun, whose golden tresses Lead him in pursuit, her footsteps Follows through the wood, my servant Having happily too departed, And since yonder rocks where endeth The dark wood in savage wildness Must be the rude rustic shelter Of the Christians who fled thither, I 'll approach them to endeavour To find there Carpophorus:- He alone, the wise, the learn`ed, Can my understanding rescue From its night-mare dreams and guesses. [Exit. SCENE III. The extremity of the wood: wild rocks with the entrance to a cave. Carpophorus comes forth from the cave, but is for a while unseen by Chrysanthus, who enters. CHRYSANTHUS. What a labyrinthine thicket Is this place that I have entered! Nature here takes little trouble, Letting it be seen how perfect Is the beauty that arises Even from nature's careless efforts: Deep within this darksome grotto Which no sunbeam's light can enter, I shall penetrate: it seemeth As if until now it never Had been trod by human footsteps. There where yonder marge impendeth O'er a streamlet that swift-flying Carries with it the white freshness Of the snows that from the mountains Ever in its waves are melted, Stands almost a skeleton; The sole difference it presenteth To the tree-trunks near it is, That it moves as well as trembles, Slow and gaunt, a living corse. Oh! thou venerable elder Who, a reason-gifted tree, Mid mere natural trees here dwelleth.- CARPOPHORUS. Wo! oh! wo is me!-a Roman! (At seeing Chrysanthus, he attempts to fly.) CHRYSANTHUS. Though a Roman, do not dread me: With no evil end I seek thee. CARPOPHORUS. Then what wouldst thou have, thou gentle Roman youth? for thou hast silenced My first fears even by thy presence. CHRYSANTHUS. 'T is to ask, what now I ask thee, Of the rocks that in this desert Gape for ever open wide In eternal yawns incessant, Which is the rough marble tomb Of a living corse interred here? Which of these dark caves is that In whose gloom Carpophorus dwelleth? 'T is important I speak with him. CARPOPHORUS. Then, regarding not the perils, I will own it. I myself Am Carpophorus. CHRYSANTHUS. Oh! let me, Father, feel thy arms enfold me. CARPOPHORUS. To my heart: for as I press thee, How, I know not, the mere contact Brings me back again the freshness And the greenness of my youth, Like the vine's embracing tendrils Twining round an aged tree: Gallant youth, who art thou? tell me. CHRYSANTHUS. Father, I am called Chrysanthus, Of Polemius, the first member Of the Roman senate, son. CARPOPHORUS. And thy purpose? CHRYSANTHUS. It distresses Me to see thee standing thus: On this bank sit down and rest thee. CARPOPHORUS. Kindly thought of; for, alas! I a tottering wall resemble: At the mouth of this my cave Let us then sit down together. [They sit down. What now wouldst thou have, Sir Stranger? CHRYSANTHUS. Sir, as long as I remember, I have felt an inclination To the love of books and letters. In my casual studies lately I a difficulty met with That I could not solve, and knowing No one in all Rome more learn`ed Than thyself (thy reputation Having with this truth impressed me) I have hither come to ask thee To explain to me this sentence: For I cannot understand it. 'T is, sir, in this book. CARPOPHORUS. Pray, let me See it then. CHRYSANTHUS. 'T is at the beginning; Nay, the sentence that perplexes Me so much is that. CARPOPHORUS. Why, these Are the Holy Gospels! Heavens! CHRYSANTHUS. What! you kiss the book? CARPOPHORUS. And press it To my forehead, thus suggesting The profound respect with which I even touch so great a treasure. CHRYSANTHUS. Why, what is the book, which I By mere accident selected? CARPOPHORUS. 'T is the basis, the foundation Of the Scripture Law. CHRYSANTHUS. I tremble With an unknown horror. CARPOPHORUS. Why? CHRYSANTHUS. Deeper now I would not enter Into the secrets of a book Which are magic spells, I 'm certain. CARPOPHORUS. No, not so, but vital truths. CHRYSANTHUS. How can that be, when its verses Open with this line that says (A beginning surely senseless) "In the beginning was the Word, And it was with God": and then it Adds: this Word itself was God; Then unto the Word reverting, Says explicitly that IT "Was made flesh"? CARPOPHORUS. A truth most certain: For this first evangelist Here to us our God presenteth In a twofold way: the first As being God, as Man the second. CHRYSANTHUS. God and Man combined together? CARPOPHORUS. Yes, in one eternal Person Are both natures joined together. CHRYSANTHUS. Then, for this is what more presses On my mind, can that same Word When it was made flesh, be reckoned God? CARPOPHORUS. Yes, God and Man is Christ Crucified for our transgressions. CHRYSANTHUS. Pray explain this wondrous problem. CARPOPHORUS. He is God, because He never Was created: He is the Word, For, besides, He was engendered By the Father, from both whom In eternal due procession Comes the Holy Ghost, three Persons, But one God, thrice mystic emblem!- In the Catholic faith we hold In one Trinity one God dwelleth, And that in one God is also One sole Trinity, ever bless`ed, Which confounds not the three Persons, Nor the single substance severs. One is the person of the Father, One the Son's, beloved for ever, One, the third, the Holy Ghost's. But though three, you must remember That in the Father, and in the Son, And in the Holy Ghost . . . CHRYSANTHUS. Unheard of Mysteries these! CARPOPHORUS. There 's but one God, Equal in the power exerted, Equal in the state and glory; For . . . CHRYSANTHUS. I listen, but I tremble. CARPOPHORUS. The eternal Father is Limitless, even so unmeasured And eternal is the Son, And unmeasured and eternal Is the Holy Ghost; but then Three eternities are not meant here, Three immensities, no, but One, Who is limitless and eternal. For though increate the three, They are but one Uncreated. First the Father was not made, Or created, or engendered; Then engendered was the Son By the Father, not created; And the Spirit was not made Or created, or engendered By the Father or the Son, But proceeds from both together. This is God's divinity Viewed as God alone, let 's enter On the human aspect. CHRYSANTHUS. Stay: For so strange, so unexpected Are the things you say, that I Need for their due thought some leisure. Let me my lost breath regain, For entranced, aroused, suspended, Spell-bound your strong reasons hold me. Is there then but one sole God In three Persons, one in essence, One in substance, one in power, One in will? CARPOPHORUS. My son, 't is certain. (Enter Aurelius and Soldiers.) AURELIUS to the Soldiers. Yonder is the secret cavern Of Carpophorus, at its entrance See him seated with another Reading. A SOLDIER. Why delay? Arrest them. AURELIUS. Recollect Polemius bade us, When we seized them, to envelope Each one's face, that so, the Christians, Their accomplices and fellows, Should not know or recognize them. A SOLDIER. You 're our prisoners. [A veil is thrown over the head of each.] CHRYSANTHUS. What! base wretches . . . AURELIUS. Gag their mouths. CHRYSANTHUS. But then I am . . . AURELIUS. Come, no words: now tie together Both their hands behind their backs. CHRYSANTHUS. Why I am . . . CARPOPHORUS. Oh! sacred heaven! Now my wished-for day has come. A VOICE FROM HEAVEN. No, not yet, my faithful servant:- I desire the constancy Of Chrysanthus may be tested:- Heed not him, as for thyself, In this manner I preserve thee. [Carpophorus disappears. (Enter Polemius.) POLEMIUS. What has happened? AURELIUS. Oh! a wonder.- We Carpophorus arrested, And with him this other Christian; Both we held here bound and fettered, When from out our hands he vanished. POLEMIUS. By some sorcery 't was effected, For those Christians use enchantments, And then miracles pretend them. A SOLDIER. See, a crowd of them there flying To the mountains. POLEMIUS. Intercept them, And secure the rabble rout; This one I shall guard myself here:- [Exeunt Aurelius and soldiers. Miserable wretch! who art thou? Thus that I may know thee better, Judging from thy face thy crimes, I unveil thee. Gracious heaven! My own son! CHRYSANTHUS. Oh! heavens! my father! POLEMIUS. Thou with Christians here detected? Thou here in their caverns hidden? Thou a prisoner? Wherefore, wherefore, O immense and mighty Jove, Are thy angry bolts suspended? CHRYSANTHUS. 'T was to solve a certain doubt Which some books of thine presented, That I sought Carpophorus, That I wandered to these deserts, And . . . POLEMIUS. Cease, cease; for now I see What has led to this adventure: Thou unhappily art gifted With a genius ill-directed; For I count as vain and foolish All the lore that lettered leisure Has in human books e'er written; But this passion has possessed thee, And to learn their magic rites Here, a willing slave, has led thee. CHRYSANTHUS. No, not magic was the knowledge I came here to learn-far better- The high mysteries of a faith Which I reverence, while I dread them. POLEMIUS. Cease, oh! cease once more, nor let Such vile treason find expression On thy lips. What! thou to praise them! AURELIUS (within). Yonder wait the two together. POLEMIUS. Cover up thy face once more, That the soldiers, when they enter, May not know thee, may not know How my honour is affected By this act, until I try Means more powerful to preserve it. CHRYSANTHUS (aside). God, whom until now I knew not, Grant Thy favour, deign to help me: Grant through suffering and through sorrow I may come to know Thee better. (Enter Aurelius and Soldiers.) AURELIUS. Though we searched the whole of the mountain, Not one more have we arrested. POLEMIUS. Take this prisoner here to Rome, And be sure that you remember All of you my strict commands, That no hand shall dare divest him Of his veil:- [Chrysanthus is led out. Why, why, O heavens! [aside. Do I pause, but from my breast here Tear my bleeding heart? How act In so dreadful a dilemma? If I say who he is, I tarnish With his guilt my name for ever, And my loyalty if I 'm silent, Since he being here transgresses By that fact alone the edict: Shall I punish him? The offender Is my son. Shall I free him? He Is my enemy and a rebel:- If between these two extremes Some mean lies, I cannot guess it. As a father I must love him, And as a judge I must condemn him. [Exeunt. ACT THE SECOND. SCENE I. A hall in the house of Polemius. Enter Claudius and Escarpin. CLAUDIUS. Has he not returned? Can no one Guess in the remotest manner[8] Where he is? ESCARPIN. Sir, since the day That you left me with my master In Diana's grove, and I Had with that divinest charmer To leave him, no eye has seen him. Love alone knows how it mads me. CLAUDIUS. Of your loyalty I doubt not. ESCARPIN. Loyalty 's a different matter, 'T is not wholly that. CLAUDIUS. What then? ESCARPIN. Dark suspicions, dismal fancies, That perhaps to live with her He lies hid within those gardens. CLAUDIUS. If I could imagine that, I, Escarpin, would be gladdened Rather than depressed. ESCARPIN. I 'm not:- I am filled, like a full barrel, With depressions. CLAUDIUS. And for what? ESCARPIN. Certain wild chimeras haunt me, Jealousy doth tear my heart, And despairing love distracts me. CLAUDIUS. You in love and jealous? ESCARPIN. I Jealous and in love. Why marvel? Am I such a monster? CLAUDIUS. What! With Daria? ESCARPIN. 'T is no matter What her name is, or Daria Or Maria, I would have her Both subjective and subjunctive, She verb passive, I verb active. CLAUDIUS. You to love so rare a beauty? ESCARPIN. Yes, her beauty, though uncommon, Would lack something, if it had not My devotion. CLAUDIUS. How? explain:- ESCARPIN. Well, I prove it in this manner:- Mr. Dullard fell in love (I do n't tell where all this happened, Or the time, for of the Dullards Every age and time give samples) With a very lovely lady: At her coach-door as he chattered One fine evening, he such nonsense Talked, that one who heard his clatter, Asked the lady in amazement If this simpleton's advances Did not make her doubt her beauty?- But she quite gallantly answered, Never until now have I Felt so proud of my attractions, For no beauty can be perfect That all sorts of men do n't flatter. CLAUDIUS. What a feeble jest! ESCARPIN. This feeble?- CLAUDIUS. Yes, the very type of flatness:- Cease buffooning, for my uncle Here is coming. ESCARPIN. Of his sadness Plainly is his face the mirror. Enter Polemius and servants. CLAUDIUS. Jupiter doth know the anguish, My good lord, with which I venture To approach thee since this happened. POLEMIUS. Claudius, as thine own, I 'm sure, Thou dost feel this great disaster. CLAUDIUS. I my promise gave thee that To Chrysanthus . . . POLEMIUS. Cease; I ask thee Not to proffer these excuses, Since I do not care to have them. CLAUDIUS. Then it seems that all thy efforts Have been useless to unravel The strange mystery of his fate? POLEMIUS. With these questions do not rack me; For, though I would rather not Give the answer, still the answer Rises with such ready aptness To my lips from out my heart, That I scarcely can withstand it. CLAUDIUS. Why conceal it then from me, Knowing that thy blood meanders Through my veins, and that my life Owns thee as its lord and master?- Oh! my lord, confide in me, Let thy tongue speak once the language That thine eyes so oft have spoken. POLEMIUS. Let the servants leave the apartment. ESCARPIN (aside). Ah! if beautiful Daria Would but favour my attachment, Though I have no house to give her, Lots of stories I can grant her:- [Exeunt Escarpin and servants. CLAUDIUS. Now, my lord, we are alone. POLEMIUS. Listen then; for though to baffle Thy desire were my intention, By my miseries overmastered, I am forced to tell my secret; Not so much have I been granted License to avow my sufferings, But I am, as 't were commanded Thus to break my painful silence, Doing honestly, though sadly, Willingly the fact disclosing, Which by force had been extracted. Hear it, Claudius: my Chrysanthus, My Chrysanthus is not absent: In this very house he 's living!- Would the gods, ah! me, had rather Made a tomb and not a prison Of his present locked apartment! Which is in this house, within it Is he prisoned, chained, made captive. This surprises thee, no wonder: More surprised thou 'lt be hereafter, When thou com'st to know the reason Of a fact so strange and startling. On that fatal day, when I Sought the mount and thou the garden, Him I found where thou didst lose him, Near the wood where he had rambled: He was taken by my soldiers At the entrance of a cavern, With Carpophorus:-oh! here Patience, patience may heaven grant me!- It was lucky that they did not See his face, for thus it happened That the front of my dishonour Was not in his face made patent: Him they captured without knowing Who he was, it being commanded That the faces of the prisoners Should be covered, but ere captured This effectually was done By themselves, they flying backward With averted faces; he Thus was taken, but his partner, That strange prodigy of Rome- Man in mind, wild beast in manners, Doubly thus a prodigy- Saved himself by power of magic. Thus Chrysanthus was sole prisoner, While the Christian crowd, disheartened, Fled for safety to the mountains From their grottoes and their caverns. These the soldiers quickly followed, And behind in that abandoned Savage place remained but two- Two, oh! think, a son and father.- One a judge, too, in a cause Wicked, bad, beyond example, In a cause that outraged Caesar, And the gods themselves disparaged. There with a delinquent son Stood I, therefore this should happen, That both clemency and rigour In my heart waged fearful battle- Clemency in fine had won, I would have removed the bandage From his eyes and let him fly, But that instant, ah! unhappy! Came the soldiers back, and then It were but more misery added, If they knew of my connivance: All that then my care could manage To protect him was the secret Of his name to keep well guarded. Thus to Rome I brought him prisoner, Where pretending great exactness, That his friends should not discover Where this Christian malefactor Was imprisoned, to this house, To my own house, I commanded That he should be brought; there hidden And unknown, a few days after I in his place substituted . . . Ah! what will not the untrammelled Strength of arbitrary power Dare attempt? what law not trample? Substituted, I repeat, For my son a slave, whose strangled, Headless corse thus paid the debt Which from me were else exacted. You will say, "Since fortune thus Has the debt so happily cancelled, Why imprison or conceal him?"- And, thus, full of doubts, I answer That though it is true I wished not, Woe is me! the common scaffold Should his punishment make public, I as little wished his hardened Heart should know my love and pity Since it did not fear my anger: Ah! believe me, Claudius, 'Twixt the chastisement a father And an executioner gives, A great difference must be granted: One hand honours what it striketh, One disgraces, blights, and blackens. Soon my rigour ceased, for truly, In a father's heart it lasteth Seldom long: but then what wonder, If the hand that in its anger Smites his son, in his own breast Leaves a wound that ever rankles- I one day his prison entered With the wish (I own it frankly) To forgive him, and when I Thought he would have even thanked me For receiving a reproof, Not severe, too lenient rather, He began to praise the Christians With such earnestness and ardour, In defence of their new law, That my clemency departed, And my angrier mood returned. I his doors and windows fastened. In the room where he is lying, Well secured by gyves and shackles, Sparingly his food is given him, Through my hands alone it passes, For I dare not to another Trust the care his state demandeth. You will think in this I reached to The extreme of my disasters- The full limits of misfortune, But not so, and if you hearken, You 'll perceive they 're but beginning, And not ended, as you fancied. All these strange events so much Have unnerved him and unmanned him, That, forgetful of himself, Of himself he is regardless. Nothing to the purpose speaks he. In his incoherent language Frenzy shows itself, delusion In his thoughts and in his fancies:- Many times I 've listened to him, Since so high-strung and abstracted Is his mind, he takes no note of Who goes in or who departeth. Once I heard him deprecating Some despotic beauty's hardness, Saying, "Since I die for thee, Thou thy favour sure wilt grant me". At another time he said, "Three in one, oh! how can that be?" Things which these same Christian people In their law hold quite established. Thus it is my life is troubled, Lost in doubts, emeshed, and tangled. If to freedom I restore him, I have little doubt that, darkened By the Christian treachery, he Will declare himself instanter Openly a Christian, which Would to me be such a scandal, That my blood henceforth were tainted, And my noble name were branded. If I leave him here in prison, So excessive is his sadness, So extreme his melancholy, That I fear 't will end in madness. In a word, I hold, my nephew, Hold it as a certain axiom, That these dark magician Christians Keep him bound by their enchantments; Who through hatred of my house, And my office to disparage, Now revenge themselves on me Through my only son Chrysanthus. Tell me, then, what shall I do; But before you give the answer Which your subtle wit may dictate, I would with your own eyes have thee See him first, you 'll then know better What my urgent need demandeth. Come, he 's not far off, his quarter Is adjoining this apartment; When you see him, I am certain You will think it a disaster Far less evil he should die, Than that in this cruel manner He should outrage his own blood, And my bright escutcheon blacken. [He opens a door, and Chrysanthus is seen seated in a chair, with his hands and feet in irons.] CLAUDIUS. Thus to see my friend, o'erwhelms me With a grief I cannot master. POLEMIUS. Stay, do not approach him nearer; For I would not he remarked thee, I would save him the disgrace Of being seen by thee thus shackled. CLAUDIUS. What his misery may dictate We can hear, nor yet attract him. CHRYSANTHUS. Was ever human fate so strange as mine? Were unmatched wishes ever mated so? Is it not enough to feel one form of woe, Without being forced 'neath opposite forms to pine? A triune God's mysterious power divine, From heaven I ask for life, that I may know, From heaven I ask for death, life's grisly foe, A fair one's favour in my heart to shrine: But how can death and life so well agree, That I can ask of heaven to end their strife, And grant them both in pitying love to me? Yet I will ask, though both with risks are rife, Neither shall hinder me, for heaven must be The arbiter of death as well as life. POLEMIUS. See now if I spoke the truth. CLAUDIUS. I am utterly distracted. (The door closes. POLEMIUS. Lest perhaps he should perceive us, Let us move a little further. Now advise me how to act, Since you see the grief that racks me. CLAUDIUS. Though it savours of presumption To white hairs like yours, to hazard Words of council, yet at times Even a young man may impart them: Well-proportioned punishment Grave defects oft counteracteth. But when carried to extremes, It but irritates and hardens. Any instrument of music Of this truth is an example. Lightly touched, it breathes but sweetness, Discord, when 't is roughly handled. 'T is not well to send an arrow To such heights, that in discharging The strong tension breaks the bowstring, Or the bow itself is fractured. These two simple illustrations Are sufficiently adapted To my purpose, of advising Means of cure both mild and ample. You must take a middle course, All extremes must be abandoned. Gentle but judicious treatment Is the method for Chrysanthus. For severer methods end in Disappointment and disaster. Take him, then, from out his prison, Leave him free, unchecked, untrammelled, For the danger is an infant Without strength to hurt or harm him. Be it that those wretched Christians Have bewitched him, disenchant him, Since you have the power; for Nature With such careful forethought acteth, That an antidotal herb She for every poison planteth. And if, finally, your wish Is that he this fatal sadness Should forget, and wholly change it To a happier state and gladder, Get him married: for remember Nothing is so well adapted To restrain discursive fancies As the care and the attachment Centered in a wife and children; Taking care that in this matter Mere convenience should not weigh More than his own taste and fancy: Let him choose his wife himself. Pleased in that, to rove or ramble Then will be beyond his power, Even were he so attracted, For a happy married lover Thinks of naught except his rapture. POLEMIUS. I with nothing such good counsel Can repay, except the frankness Of accepting it, which is The reward yourself would ask for. And since I a mean must choose Between two extremes of action, From his cell, to-day, my son Shall go forth, but in a manner That will leave his seeming freedom Circumscribed and safely guarded. Let that hall which looketh over Great Apollo's beauteous garden Be made gay by flowing curtains, Be festooned by flowery garlands; Costly robes for him get ready; Then invite the loveliest damsels Rome can boast of, to come hither To the feasts and to the dances. Bring musicians, and in fine Let it be proclaimed that any Woman of illustrious blood Who from his delusive passions Can divert him, by her charms Curing him of all his sadness, Shall become his wife, how humble Her estate, her wealth how scanty. And if this be not sufficient, I will give a golden talent Yearly to the leech who cures him By some happy stroke of practice. [Exit. CLAUDIUS. Oh! a father's pitying love, What will it not do, what marvel Not attempt for a son's welfare, For his life? Enter ESCARPIN. ESCARPIN. My lord 'por Baco!' (That 's the god I like to swear by, Jolly god of all good rascals) May I ask you what 's the secret? CLAUDIUS. You gain little when you ask me For a secret all may know. After his mysterious absence Your young lord 's returned home ill. ESCARPIN. In what way? CLAUDIUS. That none can fathom, Since he does not tell his ailment Save by signs and by his manner. ESCARPIN. Then he 's wrong, sir, not to tell it Clearly: with extreme exactness Should our griefs, our pains be mentioned. A back tooth a man once maddened, And a barber came to draw it. As he sat with jaws expanded, "Which tooth is it, sir, that pains you?" Asked of him the honest barber, And the patient in affected Language grandly thus made answer, "The penultimate"; the dentist Not being used to such pedantic Talk as this, with ready forceps Soon the last of all extracted. The poor patient to be certain, With his tongue the spot examined, And exclaimed, his mouth all bleeding, "Why, that 's not the right tooth, master". "Is it not the ultimate molar?" Said the barber quite as grandly. "Yes" (he answered), "but I said The penultimate, and I 'd have you Know, your worship, that it means Simply that that 's next the farthest". Thus instructed, he returned To the attack once more, remarking "In effect then the bad tooth Is the one that 's next the last one?" "Yes", he said, "then here it is", Spoke the barber with great smartness, Plucking out the tooth that then Was the last but one; it happened From not speaking plain, he lost Two good teeth, and kept his bad one. CLAUDIUS. Come and something newer learn In the stratagem his father Has arranged to cure the illness Of Chrysanthus, whom he fancies . . . ESCARPIN. What? CLAUDIUS. Is spell-bound by the Christians Through the power of their enchantments:- (Since to-day I cannot see thee, [aside. Cynthia fair, forgive my absence). [Exit. ESCARPIN. While these matters thus proceed, I shall try, let what will happen, Thee to see, divine Daria:- At my love, oh! be not angered, Since the penalty of beauty Is to be beloved: then pardon. [Exit. SCENE II.-The Wood. Enter DARIA from the chase with bow and arrows. DARIA. O stag that swiftly flying Before my feathered shafts the winds outvieing, Impelled by wings, not feet, If in this green retreat Here panting thou wouldst die, And stain with blood the fountain murmuring by, Await another wound, another friend, That so with quicker speed thy life may end; For to a wretch that stroke a friend must be That eases death and sooner sets life free. [She stumbles and falls near the mouth of a cave.] But, bless me, heaven! I feel My brain grow hot, my curdling blood congeal: A form of fire and snow I seem at once to turn: this sudden blow, This stumbling, how I know not, by this stone, This horrid mouth in which my grave is shown, This cave of many shapes, Through which the melancholy mountain gapes, This mountain's self, a vast Abysmal shadow cast Suddenly on my heart, as if 't were meant To be my rustic pyre, my strange new monument, All fill my heart with wonder and with fear, What buried mysteries are hidden here That terrify me so, And make me tremble 'neath impending woe. [A solemn strain of music is heard from within.] Nay more, illusion now doth bear to me The sweetest sounds of dulcet harmony, Music and voice combine:- O solitude! what phantasms are thine! But let me listen to the voice that blent Sounds with the music of the instrument. Music from within the cave. SONG. Oh! be the day for ever blest, And blest be pitying heaven's decree, That makes the darksome cave to be Daria's tomb, her place of rest! DARIA. Blest! can such evil auguries bless? And happy can that strange fate be That gives this darksome cave to me As monument of my sad life? MUSIC. Yes. DARIA. Oh! who before in actual woe The happier signs of bliss could read? Will not a fate so rigorous lead To misery, not to rapture?- MUSIC. No. DARIA. O fantasy! unwelcome guest! How can this cave bring good to me? MUSIC. Itself will tell, when it shall be Daria's tomb, her place of rest. DARIA. But then, who gave the stern decree, That this dark cave my bones should hide? MUSIC. Daria, it was he who died, Who gave his life for love of thee. DARIA. "Who gave his life for love of me!" Ah! me, and can it be in sooth That gentle noble Roman youth I answered with such cruelty In this same wood the other day, Saying that I his love would be If he would only die for me! Can he have cast himself away Down this dark cave, and there lies dead, Buried within the dread abyss, Waiting my love, his promised bliss?- My soul, not now mine own, has fled! CYNTHIA (within). Forward! forward! through the gloom Every cave and cavern enter, Search the dark wood to its centre, Lest it prove Daria's tomb. DARIA. Ah! me, the sense confounding, Both here and there are opposite voices sounding. Here is my name in measured cadence greeted, And there in hollow echoes oft repeated. Would that the latter cries that reach my ear Came from my mates in this wild forest sphere, In the dread solitude that doth surround me Their presence would be welcome. [Enter Cynthia with bow and arrows.] CYNTHIA. Till I found me, Beauteous Daria, by thy side once more, Each mountain nook my search had well gone o'er. DARIA (aside). Let me dissemble The terror and surprise that make me tremble, If I have power to feign Amid the wild confusion of my brain:- Following the chase to-day, Wishing Diana's part in full to play, So fair the horizon smiled, I left the wood and entered on the wild, Led by a wounded deer still on and on. And further in pursuit I would have gone, Nor had my swift career Even ended here, But for this mouth that opening in the rock, With horrid gape my vain attempt doth mock, And stops my further way. CYNTHIA. Until I found thee I was all dismay, Lest thou some savage beast, some monstrous foe, Hadst met. DARIA (aside). Ah! would to Jove 't were so! And that my death in his wild hands had paid For future chastisement by fate delayed! But ah! the wish is vain, Foreboding horror fills my heart and brain, This mystic music borne upon the air Must surely augur ill. (Enter NISIDA.) NISIDA. Daria fair, And Cynthia wise, I come to seek ye two. CYNTHIA. Has any thing occurred or strange or new? NISIDA. I scarce can tell it. As I came along, I heard a man, in a clear voice and strong, Proclaiming as he went Through all the mountain a most strange event: Rome hath decreed Priceless rewards to her whose charms may lead Through lawful love and in an open way By public wedlock in the light of day, The son of proud Polemius from the state Of gloom in which his mind is sunk of late. CYNTHIA. And what can be the cause that he is so? NISIDA. Ah! that I do not know, But yonder, leaving the Salarian Way, A Roman soldier hitherward doth stray: He may enlighten us and tell us all. CYNTHIA. Yes, let us know the truth, the stranger call. DARIA (aside). Ah! how distinct the pain That presses on my heart, and dulls my wildered brain! (Enter Escarpin.) NISIDA. Thou, O thou, whose wandering footsteps These secluded groves have entered . . .[9] ESCARPIN. Thou four hundred times repeated- Thou and all the thous, your servant. NISIDA. Tell us of the proclamation Publicly to-day presented To the gaze of Rome. ESCARPIN. I 'll do so; For there 's nothing I love better Than a story (aside, if to tell it In divine Daria's presence Does not put me out, for no one, When the loved one listens, ever Speaks his best): Polemius, Rome's great senator, whose bended Shoulders, like an Atlas, bear All the burden of the empire, By Numerian's self entrusted, He, this chief of Rome's great senate, Has a son, by name Chrysanthus, Who, as rumour goes, at present Is afflicted by a sadness So extreme and so excessive, That 't is thought to be occasioned By the magic those detested Christians (who abhor his house, And his father, who hath pressed them Heavily as judge and ruler) Have against his life effected, All through hatred of our gods. And so great is the dejection That he feels, there 's nothing yet Found to rouse him or divert him. Thus it is Numerianus, Who is ever well-affected To his father, hath proclaimed All through Rome, that whosoever Is so happy by her beauty, Or so fortunately clever By her wit, or by her graces Is so powerful, as to temper His affliction, since love conquers All things by his magic presence, He will give her (if a noble) As his wife, and will present her With a portion far surpassing All Polemius' self possesses, Not to speak of what is promised Him whose skill may else effect it. Thus it is that Rome to-day Laurel wreaths and crowns presenteth To its most renowned physicians, To its sages and its elders, And to wit and grace and beauty Joyous feasts and courtly revels; So that there is not a lady In all Rome, but thinks it certain That the prize is hers already, Since by all 't will be contested, Some through vanity, and some Through a view more interested: Even the ugly ones, I warrant, Will be there well represented. So with this, adieu. (Aside, Oh! fairest Nymph Daria, since I ventured Here to see thee, having seen thee Now, alas! I must absent me!) [Exit. CYNTHIA. What strange news! NISIDA. There 's not a beauty But for victory will endeavour When among Rome's fairest daughters Such a prize shall be contested. CYNTHIA. Thus by showing us the value Thou upon the victory settest, We may understand that thou Meanest in the lists to enter. NISIDA. Yes, so far as heaven through music Its most magic cures effecteth, Since no witchcraft is so potent But sweet music may dispel it. It doth tame the raging wild beast, Lulls to sleep the poisonous serpent, And makes evil genii, who Are revolted spirits-rebels- Fly in fear, and in this art I have always been most perfect: Wrongly would I act to-day, In not striving for the splendid Prize which will be mine, when I See myself the loved and wedded Wife of the great senator's son, And the mistress of such treasures. CYNTHIA. Although music is an art Which so many arts excelleth, Still in truth 't is but a sound Which the wanton air disperses. It the sweet child of the air In the air itself must perish. I, who in my studious reading Have such learn`ed lore collected, Who in poetry, that art Which both teacheth and diverteth, May precedence claim o'er many Geniuses so prized at present, Can a surer victory hope for In the great fight that impendeth, Since the music of the soul Is what keeps the mind suspended. In one item, Nisida, We two differ: thy incentive Thy chief motive, is but interest: Mine is vanity, a determined Will no other woman shall Triumph o'er me in this effort, Since I wish that Rome should see That the glory, the perfection Of a woman is her mind, All her other charms excelling. DARIA. Interest and vanity Are the two things, as you tell me, That, O Cynthia! can oblige thee, That, O Nisida, can compel thee To attempt this undertaking By so many risks attended. But I think you both are wrong, Since in this case, having heard that The affliction this man suffers Christian sorcery hath effected Through abhorrence of our gods, By that atheist sect detested, Neither of these feelings should Be your motive to attempt it. I then, who, for this time only Will believe these waves that tell me- These bright fountains-that the beauty Which so oft they have reflected Is unequalled, mean to lay it As an offering in the temple Of the gods, to show what little Strength in Christian sorcery dwelleth. NISIDA. Then 't is openly admitted That we three the list will enter For the prize. CYNTHIA. And from this moment That the rivalry commences. NISIDA. Voice of song, thy sweet enchantment On this great occasion lend me, That through thy soft influence Rank and riches I may merit. [Exit. CYNTHIA. Genius, offspring of the soul, Prove this time thou 'rt so descended, That thy proud ambitious hopes May the laurel crown be tendered. [Exit. DARIA. Beauty, daughter of the gods, Now thy glorious birth remember: Make me victress in the fight, That the gods may live for ever. [Exit. SCENE III.-A hall in the house of Polemius, opening at the end upon a garden. (Enter Polemius and Claudius.) POLEMIUS. Is then everything prepared?- CLAUDIUS. Everything has been got ready As you ordered. This apartment Opening on the garden terrace Has been draped and covered over With the costliest silks and velvets, Leaving certain spaces bare For the painter's magic pencil, Where, so cunning is his art, That it nature's self resembles. Flowers more fair than in the garden, Pinks and roses are presented: But what wonder when the fountains Still run after to reflect them?- All things else have been provided, Music, dances, gala dresses; And for all that, Rome yet knows not What in truth is here projected; 'T is a fair Academy, In whose floral halls assemble Beauty, wit, and grace, a sight That we see but very seldom. All the ladies too of Rome Have prepared for the contention With due circumspection, since As his wife will be selected She who best doth please him; thus There are none but will present them In these gardens, some to see him, Others to show off themselves here. POLEMIUS. Oh, my Claudius, would to Jove That all this could dispossess me Of my dark foreboding fancies, Of the terrors that oppress me!- (Enter Aurelius.) AURELIUS. Sir, a very learned physician Comes to proffer his best service To Chrysanthus, led by rumour Of his illness. POLEMIUS. Bid him enter. [Aurelius retires, and returns immediately with Carpophorus, disguised as a physician.] CARPOPHORUS (aside). Heaven, that I may do the work That this day I have attempted, Grant me strength a little while; For I know my death impendeth!- Mighty lord, thy victor hand, [aloud. Let me kiss and kneeling press it. POLEMIUS. Venerable elder, rise From the ground; thy very presence Gives me joy, a certain instinct Even at sight of thee doth tell me Thou alone canst save my son. CARPOPHORUS. Heaven but grant the cure be perfect! POLEMIUS. Whence, sir, art thou? CARPOPHORUS. Sir, from Athens. POLEMIUS. 'T is a city that excelleth All the world in knowledge. CARPOPHORUS. There All are teachers, all are learners. The sole wish to be of use Has on this occasion led me From my home. Inform me then How Chrysanthus is affected. POLEMIUS. With an overwhelming sadness; Or to speak it more correctly (Since when we consult a doctor Even suspicions should be mentioned), He, my son, has been bewitched;- Thus it is these Christian perverts Take revenge through him on me: In particular an elder Called Carpophorus, a wizard . . . May the day soon come for vengeance! CARPOPHORUS. May heaven grant it . . . (aside, For that day I the martyr's crown may merit). Where at present is Chrysanthus? POLEMIUS. He is just about to enter:- You can see him; all his ailment In the soul you 'll find is centered. CARPOPHORUS. In the soul then I will cure him, If my skill heaven only blesses. [Music is heard from within. CLAUDIUS. That he 's leaving his apartment This harmonious strain suggesteth, Since to counteract his gloom He by music is attended. (Enter Chrysanthus richly dressed, preceded by musicians playing and singing, and followed by attendants.) CHRYSANTHUS. Cease; my pain, perchance my folly, Cannot be by song diverted; Music is a power exerted For the cure of melancholy, Which in truth it but augmenteth. A MUSICIAN. This your father bade us do. CHRYSANTHUS. 'T is because he never knew Pain like that which me tormenteth. For if he that pang incessant Felt, he would not wish to cure it, He would love it and endure it. POLEMIUS. Think, my son, that I am present, And that I am not ambitious To assume your evil mood, But to find that it is good. CHRYSANTHUS. No, sir, you mistake my wishes. I would not through you relieve me Of my care; my former state Seemed, though, more to mitigate What I suffer: why not leave me There to die? POLEMIUS. That yet I may, Pitying your sad condition, Work your cure:-A great physician Comes to visit you to-day. CHRYSANTHUS (aside). Who do I behold? ah, me! CARPOPHORUS. I will speak to him with your leave. CHRYSANTHUS (aside). No, my eyes do not deceive, 'T is Carpophorus that I see! I my pleasure must conceal. CARPOPHORUS. Sir, of what do you complain? CHRYSANTHUS. Since you come to cure my pain, I will tell you how I feel. A great sadness hath been thrown O'er my mind and o'er my feelings, A dark blank whose dim revealings Make their sombre tints mine own. CARPOPHORUS. Can you any cause assign me Whence this sadness is proceeding? CHRYSANTHUS. From my earliest years to reading Did my studious tastes incline me. Something thus acquired doth wake Doubts, and fears, and hopes, ah me! That the things I read may be. CARPOPHORUS. Then from me this lesson take. Every mystery how obscure, Is explained by faith alone; All is clear when that is known: 'T is through faith I 'll work your cure. Since in that your healing lies, Take it then from me. CHRYSANTHUS. From you I infer all good: that true Faith I hope which you advise. CARPOPHORUS (to Polemius). Give me leave, sir, to address Some few words to him alone, Less reserve will then be shown. (The two retire to one side. Have you recognized me? CHRYSANTHUS. Yes, Every sign shows you are he Who in my most perilous strait Fled and left me to my fate. CARPOPHORUS. God did that; and would you see That it was His own work, say, If I did not then absent me Through His means, could I present me As your teacher here to-day? CHRYSANTHUS. No. CARPOPHORUS. How just His providence! Since I was preserved, that I Here might seek you, and more nigh Give you full intelligence Leisurely of every doubt Which disturbs you when you read. CHRYSANTHUS. Mysteries they are indeed, Difficult to be made out. CARPOPHORUS. To the believer all is plain. CHRYSANTHUS. I would believe, what must I do?- CARPOPHORUS. Your intellectual pride subdue. CHRYSANTHUS. I will subdue it, since 't is vain. CARPOPHORUS. Then the first thing to be done Is to be baptized. CHRYSANTHUS. I bow, Father, and implore it now. CARPOPHORUS. Let us for the present shun Further notice; lest suspicion Should betray what we would smother; Every day we 'll see each other, When I 'll execute my mission: I, to cure sin's primal scath, Will at fitting time baptize you, Taking care to catechise you In the principles of the faith; Only now one admonition Must I give; be armed, be ready For the fight most fierce and steady Ever fought for man's perdition; Oh! take heed, amid the advances Of the fair who wish to win you, 'Mid the fires that burn within you, 'Mid lascivious looks and glances, 'Mid such various foes enlisted, That you are not conquered by them. CHRYSANTHUS. Women! oh! who dare defy them By such dread allies assisted? CARPOPHORUS. He whom God assists. CHRYSANTHUS. Be swayed By my tears, and ask him. CARPOPHORUS. You Must too ask him: for he who Aids himself, him God doth aid. POLEMIUS. What, sir, think you of his case? CARPOPHORUS. I have ordered him a bath, Strong restoring powers it hath, Which his illness must displace:- POLEMIUS. Sir, relying on you then, I will give you ample wealth, If you can restore his health. CARPOPHORUS. Still I cannot tell you when, But I shall return and see him Frequently; in fact 'till he Is from all his ailment free, From my hand I will not free him. POLEMIUS. For your kindness I am grateful. CHRYSANTHUS. He alone has power to cure me. Since he knows what will allure me, When all other modes are hateful. [Exit Carpophorus. (Enter Escarpin.) ESCARPIN. All this garden of delight Must be beauty's birth-place sure, Here the fresh rose doubly pure, Here the jasmin doubly white, Learn to-day a newer grace, Lovelier red, more dazzling snow. POLEMIUS. Why? ESCARPIN. Because the world doth show Naught so fair as this sweet place. Falsely boasts th' Elysian bower Peerless beauty, here to-day More, far more, these groves display:- Not a fountain, tree, or flower . . . POLEMIUS. Well? ESCARPIN. But by a nymph more fair Is surpassed. POLEMIUS. Come, Claudius, come, He will be but dull and dumb, Shy the proffered bliss to share, Through the fear and the respect Which, as son, he owes to me. CLAUDIUS. He who gave the advice should see Also after the effect. Let us all from this withdraw. POLEMIUS. Great results I hope to gather: ESCARPIN (aside). Well, you 're the first pander-father Ever in my life I saw. CHRYSANTHUS. What, Escarpin, you, as well, Going to leave me? Mum for once. ESCARPIN. Silence suits me for the nonce. CHRYSANTHUS. Why? ESCARPIN. A tale in point I 'll tell: Once a snuffler, by a pirate Moor was captured, who in some Way affected to be dumb, That his ransom at no high rate Might be purchased: when his owner This defect perceived, the shuffle Made him sell this Mr. Snuffle Very cheaply: to the donor Of his freedom, through his nose, Half in snuffle, half in squeak, Then he said, "Oh! Moor, I speak, I 'm not dumb as you suppose". "Fool, to let your folly lead you So astray", replied the Moor. "Had I heard you speak, be sure I for nothing would have freed you". Thus it is I moderate me In the use of tongue and cheek, Lest when you have heard me speak, Still more cheaply you may rate me. CHRYSANTHUS. You must know the estimation I have held you in so long. ESCARPIN. Well, my memory is not strong. It requires consideration To admit that pleasant fact. CHRYSANTHUS. What of me do people say?- ESCARPIN. Shall I speak it? CHRYSANTHUS. Speak. ESCARPIN. Why, they Say, my lord, that you are cracked. CHRYSANTHUS. For what reason? Why this blame? ESCARPIN. Reason, sir, need not be had, For the wisest man is mad If he only gets the name. CHRYSANTHUS. Well, it was not wrongly given, If they only knew that I Have consented even to die So to reach the wished-for heaven Of a sovereign beauty's favour. ESCARPIN. For a lady's favour you Have agreed to die? CHRYSANTHUS. 'T is true. ESCARPIN. Does not this a certain savour Of insanity give your sadness? CHRYSANTHUS. Were I certain as of breath I could claim it after death, There was method in my madness. ESCARPIN. A brave soldier of the line, On his death-bed lying ill, Spoke thus, "Item, 't is my will, Gallant friends and comrades mine, That you 'll bear me to my grave, And although I 've little wealth, Thirty reals to drink my health Shall you for your kindness have". Thus the hope as vain must be After death one's love to wed, As to drink one's health when dead. [Nisida advances from the garden.] CHRYSANTHUS. But what maid is this I see Hither through the garden wending? ESCARPIN. If you take a stroll with me Plenty of her sort you 'll see. NISIDA. One who would effect the ending Of thy sadness. CHRYSANTHUS (aside). Now comes near thee, O my heart, thy threatened trial! Lady, pardon the denial, But I would nor see nor hear thee. NISIDA. Not so ungallantly surely Wilt thou act, as not to see One who comes to speak with thee? CHRYSANTHUS. To see one who thinks so poorly Of herself, and with such lightness Owns she comes to speak with me, Rather would appear to be Want of sense than of politeness. NISIDA. All discourse is not so slight That thou need'st decline it so. CHRYSANTHUS. No, I will not see thee, no. Thus I shut thee from my sight. NISIDA. Vainly art thou cold and wise, Other senses thou shouldst fear, Since I enter by the ear, Though thou shut me from the eyes. Sings. "The bless`ed rapture of forgetting Never doth my heart deserve, What my memory would preserve Is the memory I 'm regretting". CHRYSANTHUS. That melting voice, that melody Spell-bound holds th' entranc`ed soul. Ah! from such divine control Who his fettered soul could free?- Human Siren, leave me, go! Too well I feel its fatal power. I faint before it like a flower By warm-winds wooed in noontide's glow. The close-pressed lips the mouth can lock, And so repress the vain reply, The lid can veil th' unwilling eye From all that may offend and shock,- Nature doth seem a niggard here, Unequally her gifts disposing, For no instinctive means of closing She gives the unprotected ear. (Enter Cynthia.) CYNTHIA. Since then the ear cannot be closed, And thou resistance need'st not try, Listen to the gloss that I On this sweet conceit composed: "The bless`ed rapture of forgetting Never doth my heart deserve; What my memory would preserve Is the memory I 'm regretting". When Nature from the void obscure Her varied world to life awakes, All things find use and so endure:- Thus she a poison never makes Without its corresponding cure: Each thing of Nature's careful setting, Each plant that grows in field or grove Hath got its opposite flower or weed; The cure is with the pain decreed; Thus too is found for feverish love 'The bless`ed rapture of forgetting.' The starry wonders of the night, The arbiters of fate on high, Nothing can dim: To see their light Is easy, but to draw more nigh The orbs themselves, exceeds our might. Thus 't is to know, and only know, The troubled heart, the trembling nerve, To sweet oblivion's blank may owe Their rest, but, ah! that cure of woe 'Never doth my heart deserve.' Then what imports it that there be, For all the ills of heart or brain, A sweet oblivious remedy, If it, when 't is applied to me, Fails to cure me of my pain? Forgetfulness in me doth serve No useful purpose: But why fret My heart at this? Do I deserve, Strange contradiction! to forget 'What my memory would preserve?' And thus my pain in straits like these, Must needs despise the only sure Remedial means of partial ease- That is-to perish of the cure Rather than die of the disease. Then not in wailing or in fretting, My love, accept thy fate, but let This victory o'er myself, to thee Bring consolation, pride, and glee, Since what I wish not to forget 'Is the memory I 'm regretting.' CHRYSANTHUS. 'T is not through the voice alone Music breathes its soft enchantment.[10] All things that in concord blend Find in music their one language. Thou with thy delicious sweetness [To Nisida] Host my heart at once made captive;- Thou with thy melodious verses [To Cynthia] Hast my very soul enraptured. Ah! how subtly thou dost reason! Ah! how tenderly thou chantest! Thou with thy artistic skill, Thou with thy clear understanding. But what say I? I speak falsely, For you both are sphinxes rather, Who with flattering words seduce me But to ruin me hereafter:- Leave me; go: I cannot listen To your wiles. NISIDA. My lord, oh! hearken To my song once more. CYNTHIA. Wait! stay! NISIDA. Why thus treat with so much harshness Those who mourn thy deep dejection? ESCARPIN. Oh! how soon they 'd have an answer If they asked of me these questions. I know how to treat such tattle: Leave them, sir, to me. CHRYSANTHUS. My senses 'Gainst their lures I must keep guarded: They are crocodiles, but feigning Human speech, so but to drag me To my ruin, my destruction. NISIDA. Since my voice will still attract thee, 'T is of little use to fly me. CYNTHIA. Though thou dost thy best to guard thee, While I gloss the words she singeth To my genius thou must hearken. CHRYSANTHUS (aside.) God whom I adore! since I Help myself, Thy help, oh! grant me! NISIDA. "Ah! the joy" . . . . (she becomes confused. But what is this? Icy torpor coldly fastens On my hands; the lute drops from me, And my very breath departeth. CYNTHIA. Since she cannot sing; then listen To this subtle play of fancy: "Love, if thou 'rt my god" . . . . (she becomes confused. But how, What can have my mind so darkened What my memory so confuses, What my voice can so embarrass? NISIDA. I am turned to frost and fire, I am changed to living marble. CYNTHIA. Frozen over is my breast, And my heart is cleft and hardened. CHRYSANTHUS. Thus to lose your wits, ye two, What can have so strangely happened? ESCARPIN. Being poets and musicians, Quite accounts, sir, for their absence. NISIDA. Heavens! beneath the noontide sun To be left in total darkness! CYNTHIA. In an instant, O ye heavens! O'er your vault can thick clouds gather? NISIDA. 'Neath the contact of my feet Earth doth tremble, and I stagger. CYNTHIA. Mountains upon mountains seem On my shoulders to be balanced. ESCARPIN. So it always is with those Who make verses, or who chant them. CHRYSANTHUS. Of the one God whom I worship These are miracles, are marvels. (Enter Daria.) DARIA. Here, Chrysanthus, I have come . . . NISIDA. Stay, Daria. CYNTHIA. Stay, 't is rashness Here to come, for, full of wonders, Full of terrors is this garden. ESCARPIN. Do not enter: awful omens Threat'ning death await thy advent. NISIDA. By my miseries admonished . . . . CYNTHIA. By my strange misfortune startled . . . NISIDA. Flying from myself, I leave This green sphere, dismayed, distracted. CYNTHIA. Without soul or life I fly, Overwhelmed by this enchantment. NISIDA. Oh! how dreadful! CYNTHIA. Oh! how awful! NISIDA. Oh! the horror! CYNTHIA. Oh! the anguish! [Exeunt Cynthia and Nisida.] ESCARPIN. Mad with jealousy and rage Have the tuneful twain departed. DARIA (aside). Chastisements for due offences Do not fright me, do not startle, For if they through arrogance And ambition sought this garden, Me the worship of the gods Here has led, and so I 'm guarded 'Gainst all sorceries whatsoever, 'Gainst all forms of Christian magic:- Art thou then Chrysanthus? CHRYSANTHUS. Yes. DARIA. Not confused or troubled, rather With a certain fear I see thee, For which I have grounds most ample. CHRYSANTHUS. Why? DARIA. Because I thought thou wert One who in a darksome cavern Died to show thy love for me. CHRYSANTHUS. I have yet been not so happy As to have a chance, Daria, Of thus proving my attachment. DARIA. Be that so, I 've come to seek thee, Confident, completely sanguine, That I have the power to conquer, I alone, thy pains, thy anguish; Though against me thou shouldst use The Christian armoury-enchantments. CHRYSANTHUS. That thou hast alone the power To subdue the pains that wrack me, I admit it; but in what Thou hast said of Christian magic I, Daria, must deny it. DARIA. How? from what cause else could happen The effects I just have witnessed? CHRYSANTHUS. Miracles they are and marvels. DARIA. Why do they affect not me? CHRYSANTHUS. 'T is because I do not ask them Against thee; because from aiding Not myself, no aid is granted. DARIA. Then I come here to undo them. CHRYSANTHUS. Most severe will be the battle, Upon one side their due praises On the other side thy anger. DARIA. I would have thee understand That our gods are sorely damaged By thy sentiments. CHRYSANTHUS. And I That those gods are false-mere phantoms. DARIA. Then get ready for the conflict, For I will not lower my standard Save with victory or death. CHRYSANTHUS. Though thou makest me thy captive, Thou my firmness wilt not conquer. DARIA. Then to arms! I say, to arms, then! CHRYSANTHUS. Though the outposts of the soul, The weak heart, by thee be captured; Not so will the Understanding, The strong warden who doth guard it. DARIA. Thou 'lt believe me, if thou 'lt love me. CHRYSANTHUS. Thou not me, 'till love attracts thee. DARIA. That perhaps may be; for I Would not give thee this advantage. CHRYSANTHUS. Oh! that love indeed may lead thee To a state so sweet and happy! DARIA. Oh! what power will disabuse thee Of thy ignorance, Chrysanthus? CHRYSANTHUS. Oh! what pitying power, Daria, Will the Christian faith impart thee? ACT THE THIRD. SCENE I.-The Garden of Polemius. Enter POLEMIUS, AURELIUS, CLAUDIUS, and ESCARPIN. POLEMIUS. All my house is in confusion, Full of terrors, full of horrors;[11] Ah! how true it is a son Is the source of many sorrows!- CLAUDIUS. But, my lord, reflect . . . ESCARPIN. Consider . . . Think . . . POLEMIUS. Why think, when misery follows?- Cease: you add to my affliction, And in no way bring me solace. Since you see that in his madness He is now more firm and constant, Falling sick of new diseases, Ere he 's well of old disorders: Since one young and beauteous maiden, Whom love wished to him to proffer, Free from every spot and blemish, Pure and perfect in her fondness, Is the one whose fatal charms Give to him such grief and torment, That each moment he may perish, That he may expire each moment; How then can you hope that I Now shall list to words of comfort?- CLAUDIUS. Why not give this beauteous maiden To your son to be his consort, Since you see his inclination? POLEMIUS. For this reason: when the project I proposed, the two made answer, That before they wed, some problem, Some dispute that lay between them Should be settled: this seemed proper: But when I would know its nature I could not the cause discover. From this closeness I infer That some secret of importance Lies between them, and that this Is the source of all my sorrows. AURELIUS. Sir, my loyalty, my duty Will not let me any longer Silence keep, too clearly seeing How the evil has passed onward. On that day we searched the mountain. . . . POLEMIUS (aside). Woe is me! could he have known then All this time it was Chrysanthus? AURELIUS. I approaching, where with shoulders Turned against me stood one figure, Saw the countenance of another, And methinks he was . . . POLEMIUS (aside). Ye gods! Yes, he saw him! help! support me! AURELIUS. The same person who came hither Lately in the garb of a doctor, Who to-day to cure Chrysanthus Such unusual treatment orders. Do you ascertain if he Is Carpophorus; let no portent Fright you, on yourself rely, And you 'll find that all will prosper. POLEMIUS. Thanks, Aurelius, for your warning, Though 't is somewhat tardily offered. Whether you are right or wrong, I to-day will solve the problem. For the sudden palpitation Of my heart that beats and throbbeth 'Gainst my breast, doth prove how true Are the suspicions that it fostered. And if so, then Rome will see Such examples made, such torments, That one bleeding corse will show Wounds enough for myriad corses. [Exeunt Aurelius and Polemius. CLAUDIUS. Good Escarpin . . . ESCARPIN. Sir. CLAUDIUS. I know not How to address you in my sorrow. Do you say that Cynthia was One of those not over-modest Beauties who to court Chrysanthus Hither came, and who (strange portent!) Had some share of his bewitchment In the stupor that came on them? ESCARPIN. Yes, sir, and what 's worse, Daria Was another, thus the torment That we both endure is equal, If my case be not the stronger, Since to love her would be almost Less an injury than to scorn her. CLAUDIUS. Well, I will not quarrel with you On the point (for it were nonsense) Whether one should feel more keenly Love or hate, disdain or fondness Shown to one we love; enough 'T is to me to know, that prompted Or by vanity or by interest, She came hither to hold converse With him, 't is enough to make me Lose the love I once felt for her. ESCARPIN. Sir, two men, one bald, one squint-eyed, Met one day . . . CLAUDIUS. What, on your hobby? A new story? ESCARPIN. To tell stories, Sir, is not my 'forte', 'pon honour:- Though who would n't make a hazard When the ball is over the pocket?- CLAUDIUS. Well, I do not care to hear it. ESCARPIN. Ah, you know it then: Another Let me try: A friar once . . . Stay though, I have quite forgotten There are no friars yet in Rome: Well, once more: a fool . . . CLAUDIUS. A blockhead Like yourself, say: cease. ESCARPIN. Ah, sir, My poor tale do n't cruelly shorten. While the sacristan was blowing . . . CLAUDIUS. Why, by heaven! I 'll kill you, donkey. ESCARPIN. Hear me first, and kill me after. CLAUDIUS. Was there ever known such folly As to think 'mid cares so grave I could listen to such nonsense? (exit. [Enter Chrysanthus and Daria, at opposite sides.] DARIA (to herself). O ye gods, since my intention Was in empty air to scatter All these prodigies and wonders Worked in favour of Chrysanthus By the Christians' sorcery, why, Having you for my copartners, Do I not achieve a victory Which my beauty might make facile? CHRYSANTHUS. O ye heavens, since my ambition Was to melt Daria's hardness, And to bring her to the knowledge Of one God who works these marvels, Why, so pure is my intention, Why, so zealous and so sanguine, Does not easy victory follow, Due even to my natural talent? DARIA (aside). He is here, and though already Even to see him, to have parley With him, lights a living fire In my breast, which burns yet glads me, Yet he must confess my gods, Ere I own that I am vanquished. CHRYSANTHUS (aside). She comes hither, and though I By her beauty am distracted, Still she must become a Christian Ere a wife's dear name I grant her. DARIA (aside). Venus, to my beauty give Power to make of him my vassal. CHRYSANTHUS (aside). Grant, O Lord, unto my tongue Words that may dispel her darkness. DARIA (aside). To come near him makes me tremble. CHRYSANTHUS (aside). To address her, quite unmans me:- Not in vain, O fair Daria, (aloud. Does the verdure of this garden, When it sees thee pass, grow young As beneath spring's dewy spangles; Not in vain, since though 't is evening, Thou a new Aurora dazzleth, That the birds in public concert Hail thee with a joyous anthem; Not in vain the streams and fountains, As their crystal current passes, Keep melodious time and tune With the bent boughs of the alders; The light movement of the zephyrs As athwart the flowers they 're wafted, Bends their heads to see thee coming, Then uplifts them to look after. DARIA. These fine flatteries, these fine phrases Make me doubt of thee, Chrysanthus. He who gilds the false so well, Must mere truth find unattractive. CHRYSANTHUS. Hast thou then such little faith In my love? DARIA. Thou needst not marvel. CHRYSANTHUS. Why? DARIA. Because no more of faith Doth a love deserve that acteth Such deceptions. CHRYSANTHUS. What deceptions? DARIA. Are not those enough, Chrysanthus, That thou usest to convince me Of thy love, of thy attachment, When my first and well-known wishes Thou perversely disregardest? Is it possible a man So distinguished for his talents, So illustrious in his blood, Such a favourite from his manners, Would desire to ruin all By an error so unhappy, And for some delusive dream See himself abhorred and branded? CHRYSANTHUS. I nor talents, manners, blood, Would be worthy of, if madly I denied a Great First Cause, Who made all things, mind and matter, Time, heaven, earth, air, water, fire, Sun, moon, stars, fish, birds, beasts, Man then. DARIA. Did not Jupiter, then, make heaven, Where we hear his thunders rattle? CHRYSANTHUS. No, for if he could have made Heaven, he had no need to grasp it For himself at the partition, When to Neptune's rule he granted The great sea, and hell to Pluto;- Then they were ere all this happened.[12] DARIA. Is not Ceres the earth, then? CHRYSANTHUS. No. Since she lets the plough and harrow Tear its bosom, and a goddess Would not have her frame so mangled. DARIA. Tell me, is not Saturn time? CHRYSANTHUS. He is not, though he dispatcheth All the children he gives birth to; To a god no crimes should happen. DARIA. Is not Venus the air? CHRYSANTHUS. Much less, Since they say that she was fashioned From the foam, and foam, we know, Cannot from the air be gathered. DARIA. Is not Neptune the sea? CHRYSANTHUS. As little, For inconstancy were god's mark then. DARIA. Is not the sun Apollo? CHRYSANTHUS. No. DARIA. The moon Diana? CHRYSANTHUS. All mere babble. They are but two shining orbs Placed in heaven, and there commanded To obey fixed laws of motion Which thy mind need not embarrass. How can these be called the gods- Gods adulterers and assassins! Gods who pride themselves for thefts, And a thousand forms of badness, If the ideas God and Sin Are opposed as light to darkness?- With another argument I would further sift the matter. Let then Jupiter be a god, In his own sphere lord and master: Let Apollo be one also: Should Jove wish to hurl in anger Down his red bolts on the world, And Apollo would not grant them, He the so-called god of fire; From the independent action Of the two does it not follow One of them must be the vanquished? Then they cannot be called gods, Gods whose wills are counteracted. One is God whom I adore . . . And He is, in fine, that martyr Who has died for love of thee!- Since then, thou hast said, so adverse Was thy proud disdain, one only Thou couldst love with love as ardent Almost as his own, was he Who would . . . DARIA. Oh! proceed no farther, Hold, delay thee, listen, stay, Do not drive my brain distracted, Nor confound my wildered senses, Nor convulse my speech, my language, Since at hearing such a mystery All my strength appears departed. I do not desire to argue With thee, for, I own it frankly, I am but an ignorant woman, Little skilled in such deep matters. In this law have I been born, In it have been bred: the chances Are that in it I shall die: And since change in me can hardly Be expected, for I never At thy bidding will disparage My own gods, here stay in peace. Never do I wish to hearken To thy words again, or see thee, For even falsehood, when apparelled In the garb of truth, exerteth Too much power to be disregarded. [Exit. CHRYSANTHUS. Stay, I cannot live without thee, Or, if thou wilt go, the magnet Of thine eye must make me follow. All my happiness is anchored There. Return, Daria. . . . (Enter Carpophorus.) CARPOPHORUS. Stay. Follow not her steps till after You have heard me speak. CHRYSANTHUS. What would you? CARPOPHORUS. I would reprimand your lapses, Seeing how ungratefully You, my son, towards me have acted. CHRYSANTHUS. I ungrateful! CARPOPHORUS. You ungrateful, Yes, because you have abandoned, Have forgotten God's assistance, So effectual and so ample. CHRYSANTHUS. Do not say I have forgotten Or abandoned it, wise master, Since my memory to preserve it Is as 't were a diamond tablet. CARPOPHORUS. Think you that I can believe you, If when having in this garment Sought you out to train and teach you, In the Christian faith and practice, Until deep theology You most learnedly have mastered; If, when having seen your progress, Your attention and exactness, I in secret gave you baptism, Which its mark indelibly stampeth; You so great a good forgetting, You for such a bliss so thankless, With such shameful ease surrender To this love-dream, this attachment? Did it strike you not, Chrysanthus, To that calling how contrasted Are delights, delirious tumults, Are love's transports and its raptures, Which you should resist? Recall too, Can you not? the aid heaven granted When you helped yourself, and prayed for Its assistance: were you not guarded By it when a sweet voice sung, When a keen wit glowed and argued, When the instrument was silenced, When the tongue was forced to stammer, Until now, when with free will You succumb to the enchantment Of one fair and fatal face, Which hath done to you such damage That 't will work your final ruin, If the trial longer lasteth?- CHRYSANTHUS. Oh! my father, oh! my teacher, Hear me, for although the charges Brought against me thus are heavy, Still I to myself have ample Reasons for my exculpation. Since you taught me, you, dear master, That the union of two wills In our law is well established. Be not then displeased, Carpophorus . . . (Aside.) Heavens! what have I said? My father! (Enter Polemius.) POLEMIUS (aside). Ah! this name removes all doubt. But I must restrain my anger, And dissemble for the present, If such patience Jove shall grant me:- How are you to-day, Chrysanthus? (aloud. CHRYSANTHUS. Sir, my love and duty cast them Humbly at your feet: (aside, Thank heaven, That he heard me not, this calmness Cannot be assumed). POLEMIUS. I value More than I can say your manner Towards my son, so kind, so zealous For his health. CARPOPHORUS. Heaven knows, much farther Even than this is my ambition, Sir, to serve you: but the passions Of Chrysanthus are so strong, That my skill they overmaster. POLEMIUS. How? CARPOPHORUS. Because the means of cure He perversely counteracteth. CHRYSANTHUS. Ah! sir, no, I 've left undone Nothing that you have commanded. CARPOPHORUS. No, not so, his greatest peril He has rashly disregarded. POLEMIUS. I implicitly can trust you, Of whose courage, of whose talents I have been so well informed, That I mean at once to grant them The reward they so well merit. CARPOPHORUS. Sir, may heaven preserve and guard you. POLEMIUS. Come with me; for I desire That you should from my apartments Choose what best doth please you; I Do not doubt you 'll find an ample Guerdon for your care. CARPOPHORUS. To be Honoured in this public manner Is my best reward. POLEMIUS (aside). The world Shall this day a dread example Of my justice see, transcending All recorded in time's annals. (Exeunt Polemius and Carpophorus.) CHRYSANTHUS. Better than I could have hoped for Has it happened, since my father Shows by his unruffled face That his name he has not gathered. What more evidence can I wish for Than to see the gracious manner In which he conducts him whither His reward he means to grant him? Oh! that love would do as much In the fears and doubts that rack me, Since I cannot wed Daria, And be faithful to Christ's banner. (Enter Daria.) DARIA (aside). Tyrant question which methought Timely flight alone could answer, Once again, against my will To his presence thou dost drag me. CHRYSANTHUS (aside). But she comes again: let sorrow Be awhile replaced by gladness:- Ah! Daria, so resolved[13] (aloud, Not to see or hear me more, Art thou here? DARIA. Deep pondering o'er, As the question I revolved, I would have the mystery solved: 'T is for that I 'm here, then see It is not to speak with thee. CHRYSANTHUS. Speak, what doubt wouldst thou decide? DARIA. Thou hast said a God once died Through His boundless love to me: Now to bring thee to conviction Let me this one strong point try . . . CHRYSANTHUS. What? DARIA. To be a God, and die, Doth imply a contradiction. And if thou dost still deny To my god the name divine, And reject him in thy scorn For beginning, I opine, If thy God could die, that mine Might as easily be born. CHRYSANTHUS. Thou dost argue with great skill, But thou must remember still, That He hath, this God of mine, Human nature and divine, And that it has been His will As it were His power to hide- God made man-man deified- When this sinful world He trod, Since He was not born as God, And it was as man He died. DARIA. Does it not more greatness prove, As among the beauteous stars, That one deity should be Mars, And another should be Jove, Than this blending God above With weak man below? To thee Does not the twin deity Of two gods more power display, Than if in some mystic way God and man conjoined could be? CHRYSANTHUS. No, I would infer this rather, If the god-head were not one, Each a separate course could run: But the untreated Father, But the sole-begotten Son, But the Holy Spirit who Ever issues from the two, Being one sole God, must be One in power and dignity:- Until thou dost hold this true, Till thy creed is that the Son Was made man, I cannot hear thee, Cannot see thee or come near thee, Thee and death at once to shun. DARIA. Stay, my love may so be won, And if thou wouldst wish this done, Oh! explain this mystery! What am I to do, ah! me, That my love may thus be tried? CARPOPHORUS (within). Seek, O soul! seek Him who died Solely for the love of thee. CHRYSANTHUS. All that I could have replied Has been said thus suddenly By this voice that, sounding near, Strikes upon my startled ear Like the summons of my death. DARIA. Ah! what frost congeals my breath, Chilling me with icy fear, As I hear its sad lament: Whence did sound the voice? [Enter Polemius and soldiers. POLEMIUS. From here: 'T is, Chrysanthus, my intent Thus to place before thy sight- Thus to show thee in what light I regard thy restoration Back to health, the estimation In which I regard the wight Who so skilfully hath cured thee. A surprise I have procured thee, And for him a fit reward: Raise the curtain, draw the cord, See, 't is death! If this . . . (A curtain is drawn aside, and Carpophorus is seen beheaded, the head being at some distance from the body.) CHRYSANTHUS. I freeze!- POLEMIUS. Is the cure of thy disease, What must that disease have been! 'T is Carpophorus. . . . DARIA. Dread scene! POLEMIUS. He who with false science came Not to give thee life indeed, But that he himself should bleed:- That thy fate be not the same, Of his mournful end take heed: Do not thou that dost survive, My revenge still further drive, Since the sentence seems misread- The physician to be dead, And the invalid alive.- CHRYSANTHUS. It were cruelty extreme, It were some delirious dream, That could see in this the cure Of the ill that I endure. POLEMIUS. It to him did pity seem, Seemed the sole reward that he Asked or would receive from me: Since when dying, he but cried . . THE HEAD OF CARPOPHORUS. Seek, O soul! seek Him who died Solely for the love of thee!- CHRYSANTHUS. What a portent! DARIA. What a wonder! ESCARPIN. Jove! my own head splits asunder!- POLEMIUS. Even though severed, in it dwells Still the force of magic spells. CHRYSANTHUS. Sir, it were a fatal blunder To be blind to this appalling Tragedy you wrong by calling The result of spells-no spells Are such signs, but miracles Outside man's experience falling. He came here because he yearned With his pure and holy breath To give life, and so found death. 'T is a lesson that he learned- 'T is a recompense he earned- Seeing what his Lord could do, Being to his Master true: Kill me also: He had one Bright example: shall I shun Death in turn when I have two? POLEMIUS. I, in listening to thy raving, Scarce can calm the wrath thou 'rt braving. Dead ere now thou sure wouldst lie, Didst thou not desire to die. CHRYSANTHUS. Father, if the death I 'm craving . . . POLEMIUS. Speak not thus: no son I know. CHRYSANTHUS. Not to thee I spoke, for though Humanly thou hast that name, Thou hast forfeited thy claim: I that sweet address now owe Unto him whose holier aim Kindled in my heart a flame Which shall there for ever glow, Woke within me a new soul That thou 'rt powerless to control- Generated a new life Safe against thy hand or knife: Him a father's name I give Who indeed has made me live, Not to him whose tyrant will Only has the power to kill. Therefore on this dear one dead, On this pallid corse laid low, Lying bathed in blood and snow, By this lifeless lodestone led, I such bitter tears shall shed, That my grief . . . POLEMIUS. Ho! instantly Tear him from it. DARIA (aside). Thus to be By such prodigies surrounded, Leaves me dazzled and confounded. POLEMIUS. Hide the corse. ESCARPIN. Leave that to me (The head and body are concealed). POLEMIUS. Bear Chrysanthus now away To a tower of darksome gloom Which shall be his living tomb. CHRYSANTHUS. That I hear with scant dismay, Since the memory of this day With me there will ever dwell. Fair Daria, fare thee well, And since now thou knowest who Died for love of thee, renew The sweet vow that in the dell Once thou gav'st me, Him to love After death who so loved thee. POLEMIUS. Take him hence. DARIA. Ah! suddenly Light descendeth from above Which my darkness doth remove. Now thy shadowed truth I see, Now the Christian's faith profess. Let thy bloody lictors press Round me, racking every limb, Let me only die with him, Since I openly confess That the gods are false whom we Long have worshipped, that I trust Christ alone-the True-the Just- The One God, whose power I see, And who died for love of me. POLEMIUS. Take her too, since she in this Boasts how dark, how blind she is. DARIA. Oh! command that I should dwell With Chrysanthus in his cell. In our hearts we long are mated, And ere now had celebrated Our espousals fond and true, If the One same God we knew. CHRYSANTHUS. This sole bliss alone I waited To die happy. POLEMIUS. How my heart Is with wrath and rage possest!- Hold thy hand, present it not, For I would not have thy lot By the least indulgence blest; Nor do thou, if thy wild brain Such a desperate course maintain, Hope to have her as thy bride- Trophy of our gods denied:- Separate them. CHRYSANTHUS. O the pain! DARIA. O the woe! unhappy me! POLEMIUS. Take them hence, and let them be (Since my justice now at least Makes amends for mercy past) Punished so effectually That their wishes, their desires, What each wanteth or requires, Shall be thwarted or denied, That between opposing fires They for ever shall be tried:- Since Chrysanthus' former mood Only wished the solitude Whence such sorrows have arisen, Take him to the public prison, And be sure in fire and food That he shall not be preferred To the meanest culprit there. Naked, abject, let him fare As the lowest of the herd: There, while chains his body gird, Let him grovel and so die:- For Daria, too, hard by Is another public place, Shameful home of worse disgrace, Where imprisoned let her lie: If, relying on the powers Of her beauty, her vain pride Dreamed of being my son's bride, Never shall she see that hour. Soon shall fade her virgin flower, Soon be lost her nymph-like grace- Roses shall desert her face, Waving gold her silken hair. She who left Diana's care Must with Venus find her place: 'Mong vile women let her dwell, Vile, abandoned even as they. ESCARPIN (aside). There my love shall have full play. O rare judge, you sentence well! CHRYSANTHUS. Sir, if thou must have a fell Vengeance for this act of mine, Take my life, for it is thine; But my honour do not dare To insult through one so fair. DARIA. Wreak thy rage, if faith divine So offends thee, upon me, Not upon my chastity:- 'T is a virtue purer far Than the light of sun or star, And has ne'er offended thee. POLEMIUS. Take them hence. CHRYSANTHUS. Ah me, to find Words, that might affect thy mind! Melt thy heart! DARIA. Ah, me, who e'er Saw a martyrdom so rare?- POLEMIUS. Wouldst thou then the torment fly, Thou hast only to deny Christ. CHRYSANTHUS. The Saviour of mankind? This I cannot do. DARIA. Nor I. POLEMIUS. Let them instantly from this To their punishment be led.- ESCARPIN. Do not budge from what you said. It is excellent as it is. CHRYSANTHUS. Woe is me! but wherefore fear, O beloved betroth`ed mine?- Trust in God, that power divine For whose sake we suffer here:- HE will aid us and be near:- DARIA. In that confidence I live, For if He His life could give For my love, and me select, He His honour will protect. CHRYSANTHUS. These sad tears He will forgive. Ne'er to see thee more! thus driven. . . DARIA. Cease, my heart like thine is riven, But again we 'll see each other, When in heaven we 'll be, my brother, The two lover saints of Heaven. (They are led out. SCENE II.-The hall of a bordel. Soldiers conducting Daria. A SOLDIER. Here Polemius bade us leave her, The great senator of Rome.[14] (exeunt.) DARIA. As the noonday might be left In the midnight's dusky robe, As the light amid the darkness, As 'mid clouds the solar globe: But although the shades and shadows, Through the vapours of Heaven's dome. Strive with villainous presumption Light and splendour to enfold, Though they may conceal the lustre, Still they cannot stain it, no. And it is a consolation This to know, that even the gold, How so many be its carats, How so rich may be the lode, Is not certain of its value 'Till the crucible hath told. Ah! from one extreme to another Does my strange existence go: Yesterday in highest honour, And to-day so poor and low! Still, if I am self-reliant, Need I fear an alien foe? But, ah me, how insufficient Is my self-defence alone!- O new God to whom I offer Life and soul, whom I adore, In Thy confidence I rest me. Help me, Lord, I ask no more. (Enter Escarpin.) ESCARPIN. Where I wonder can she be? But I need not farther go, Here she is:-At length, Daria, My good lady, and soforth, Now has come the happy moment, When in open market sold, All thy charms are for the buyer, Who can spend a little gold; And since happily love's tariff Is not an excessive toll, Here I am, and so, Daria, Let these clasping arms enfold . . . DARIA. Do not Thou desert Thy handmaid In this dreadful hour, O Lord!- Cries of people within. A VOICE (within). Oh, the lion! oh, the lion! ANOTHER VOICE (within). Ho! take care of the lion, ho! ESCARPIN. Let the lion care himself, I 'm engaged and cannot go. A VOICE (within). From the mountain wilds descending, Through the crowded streets he goes. ANOTHER VOICE (within). Like the lightning's flash he flieth, Like the thunder is his roar. ESCARPIN. Ah! all right, for I 'm in safety, Thanks to this obliging door: Lightning is a thing intended For high towers and stately domes, Never heard I of its falling Upon little lowly homes: So if lion be the lightning, Somewhere else will fall the bolt: Therefore once again, Daria, Come, I say, embrace me. . . . . (A lion enters, places himself before Daria, and seizes Escarpin.) DARIA. Oh! Never in my life did I See a nobler beast. ESCARPIN. Just so, Nor a more affectionate one Did I ever meet before, Since he gives me the embraces That I asked of thee and more: O god Bacchus, whom I worship So devoutly, thou, I know, Workest powerfully on beasts. Tell our friend to let me go. DARIA. Noble brute, defend my honour, Be God's minister below. ESCARPIN. How he gnaws me! how he claws me! How he smells! His breath, by Jove, Is as bad as an emetic. But you need n't eat me, though. That would be a sorry blunder, Like what happened long ago. Would you like to hear the story? By your growling you say no. What! you 'll eat me then? You 'll find me A tough morsel, skin and bone. O Daria! I implore thee, Save me from this monster's throat, And I give to thee my promise To respect thee evermore. DARIA. Mighty monarch of these deserts, King of beasts, so plainly known By thy crown of golden tresses O'er thy tawny forehead thrown, In the name of Him who sent thee To defend that faith I hold, I command thee to release him, Free this man and let him go. ESCARPIN. What a most obsequious monster! With his mane he sweeps the floor, And before her humbly falling, Kisses her fair feet. DARIA. What more Need we ask, that Thou didst send him, O great God so late adored, Than to see his pride thus humbled When he heard thy name implored? But upon his feet uprising, The great roaring Campeador[15] Of the mountains makes a signal I should follow: yes, I go, Fearless now since Thou hast freed me From this infamous abode. What will not that lover do Who for love his life foregoes!- (Goes out preceded by the lion. ESCARPIN. With a lion for her bully Ready to fight all her foes, Who will dare to interrupt her? None, if they are wise I trow. With her hand upon his mane, Quite familiarly they go Through the centre of the city. Crowds give way as they approach, And as he who looketh on Knoweth of the game much more Than the players, I perceive They the open country seek On the further side of Rome. Like a husband and a wife, In the pleasant sunshine's glow, Taking the sweet air they seem. Well the whole affair doth show So much curious contradiction, That, my thought, a brief discourse You and I must have together. Is the God whose name is known To Daria, the same God Whom Carpophorus adored? Why, from this what inference follows? Only this, if it be so, That Daria He defends, But the poor Carpophorus, no. And as I am much more likely His sad fate to undergo, Than to be like her protected, I to change my faith am loth. So part pagan and part christian I 'll remain-a bit of both. (Exit. SCENE III.-The Wood. (Enter NISIDA and CYNTHIA, flying.) CYNTHIA. Fly, fly, Nisida. NISIDA. Fly, fly, Cynthia, Since a terror and a woe Threatens us by far more fearful Than when late a horror froze All our words, and o'er our reason Strange lethargic dulness flowed. CYNTHIA. Thou art right, for then 't was only Our intelligence that owned The effect of an enchantment, A mere pause of thought alone. Here our very life doth leave us, Seeing with what awful force Stalks along this mighty lion Trampling all that stops his course. NISIDA. Whither shall we fly for shelter? CYNTHIA. O Diana, we implore Help from thee! But stranger still!- Him who doth appal us so, The wild monarch of the mountain See! a woman calm and slow Follows. NISIDA. O astounding sight! CYNTHIA. 'T is Daria. NISIDA. I was told She had been consigned to prison: Yes, 't is she: on, on they go Through the forest. CYNTHIA. Till the mountain Hides them, and we see no more. (Enter Escarpin.) ESCARPIN. All Rome is full of wonder and dismay.[16] NISIDA. What has occurred? CYNTHIA. Oh! what has happened, say? ESCARPIN. Chrysanthus, being immured By his stern sire, a thousand ills endured. Daria too, the same, But in a house my tongue declines to name. It pleased the God they both adore Both to their freedom strangely to restore, And from their many pains To free them, and to break their galling chains, Giving Daria, as attendant squire, A roaring lion, rolling eyes of fire:- In fine the two have fled, But each apart by separate instinct led To this wild mountain near. Numerianus coming then to hear Of the event, assuming in his wrath, That 't was Polemius who had oped the path Of freedom for his son and for the maid, Has not an hour delayed, But follows them with such a numerous band, That, see, his squadrons cover all the land. VOICES (within). Scour the whole plain. OTHERS (within). Descend into the vale. OTHERS (within). Pierce the thick wood. OTHERS (within). The rugged mountain scale. ESCARPIN. This noise, these cries, confirm what I have said: And since by curiosity I 'm led To sift the matter to the bottom, I Will follow with the rest. CYNTHIA. I almost die With fear at the alarm, and yet so great Is my desire to know Daria's fate, And that of young Chrysanthus, that I too Will follow, if a woman so may do. ESCARPIN. What strange results such strange events produce! The very wonder serves as an excuse. NISIDA. Well, we must only hope that it is so. Come, Cynthia, let us follow her. CYNTHIA. Let us go. ESCARPIN. And I with love most fervent, Ladies, will be your very humble servant. [Exeunt. SCENE IV.-A wilder part of the wood near the cave. (Enter DARIA guided by the lion.) DARIA. O mighty lion, whither am I led? Where wouldst thou guide me with thy stately tread, That seems to walk not on the earth, but air? But lo! he has entered there Where yonder cave its yawning mouth lays bare, [The lion enters a cave.] Leaving me here alone. But now fate clears, and all will soon be known; For if I read aright The signs this desert gives unto my sight, It is the very place whence echo gave Responsive music from this mystic cave. Terror and wonder both my senses scare, Ah! whither shall I go? CHRYSANTHUS (within). Daria fair! DARIA. Who calls my hapless name? Each leaf that moves doth thrill this wretched frame With boding and with dread. But why say wretched? I had better said Thrice bless`ed: O great God whom I adore, Baptize me in those tears that I outpour, In no more fitting form can I declare My faith and hope in thee. CHRYSANTHUS (within). Daria fair. DARIA. Who calls my name? who wakes those wild alarms? (Enter Chrysanthus.) CHRYSANTHUS. Belov`ed bride, 't is one to whom thy charms Are even less dear than is thy soul, ah! me, One who would live and who will die with thee. DARIA. Belov`ed spouse, my heart could not demand Than thus to see thee near, to clasp thy hand, A sweeter solace for my long dismay, And all the awful wonders of this day. Hear the surprising tale, And thou wilt know . . . VOICES (within). Search hill. OTHERS. And plain. OTHERS. And vale. CHRYSANTHUS. Hush! the troops our fight pursuing Have the forest precincts entered.[17] DARIA. What then shall I do, Chrysanthus? CHRYSANTHUS. Keep thy faith, thy life surrender:- DARIA. I a thousand lives would offer: Since to God I 'm so indebted That I 'll think myself too happy If 't is given for Him. POLEMIUS (within). This centre Of the mountain, whence the sun Scarcely ever is reflected- This dark cavern sure must hold them. Let us penetrate its entrails, So that here the twain may die. DARIA. One thing only is regretted By me, in my life thus losing, I am not baptized. CHRYSANTHUS. Reject then That mistrust; in blood and fire[18] Martyrdom the rite effecteth:- (Enter Polemius and Soldiers.) POLEMIUS. Here, my soldiers, here they are, And the hand that death presents them Must be mine, that none may think I a greater love could cherish For my son than for my gods. And as I desire, when wendeth Hither great Numerianus, That he find them dead, arrest them On the spot, and fling them headlong Into yonder cave whose centre Is a fathomless abyss:- And since one sole love cemented Their two hearts in life, in death In one sepulchre preserve them. CHRYSANTHUS. Oh! how joyfully I die! DARIA. And I also, since the sentence Gives to me the full assurance Of a happiness most certain On the day this darksome cave Doth entomb me in its centre. (They are cast into the abyss.) POLEMIUS. Cover the pit's mouth with stones. (A sudden storm of thunder and lightning: Enter Numerianus, Claudius, Aurelius, and others. NUMERIANUS. What can have produced this tempest? POLEMIUS. When within the cave they threw them, Dark eclipse o'erspread the heavens. CLAUDIUS. Shadowy shapes, phantasmal shadows Are upon the wind projected. CYNTHIA. Lightnings like swift birds of fire Dart along with burning tresses. CLAUDIUS. Lo! an earthquake's awful shudder Makes the very mountains tremble. POLEMIUS. Yes, the solid ground upheaveth, And the mighty rock descendeth O'er our heads. NISIDA. While on the instant Dulcet voices soft and tender Issue from the cave's abysses. NUMERIANUS. Rome to-day strange sights presenteth, When a grave exhibits gladness, And the sun displays resentment. (A choir of angels is heard singing from within the cave.) "Happy day, and happy doom, May the gladsome world exclaim, When the darksome cave became Saint Daria's sacred tomb". (A great rock falls from the mountain, and covers the tomb, over it is seen an angel.) ANGEL. This great cave which holds to-day In its breast so great a treasure, Never shall by foot be trodden;- Thus it is I 've sealed and settled This great mass of rock upon it, Which doth shut it up for ever. And in order that their ashes On the wind be ne'er dispers`ed, But while time itself endureth Shall be honoured and respected, This brief epitaph, this simple Line shall tell this simple legend To the ages that come after: "Here the bodies are preserv`ed Of Chrysanthus and Daria, The two lover-saints of Heaven". CLAUDIUS. Wherefore humbly we entreat Pardon for our many errors. 3. The whole of the first scene is in 'asonante' verse, the vowels being i, e, as in "restrIctEd", "drIftlEss", "hIddEn", etc. These vowels, or their equivalents in sound, will be found pretty accurately represented in the last two syllables of every alternate line throughout the scene, which ends at p. 25, and where the verse changes into the full consonant rhyme. 4. The resemblance between certain parts of Goethe's Faust and The Wonder-Working Magician of Calderon has been frequently alluded to, and has given rise to a good deal of discussion. In the controversy as to how much the German poet was indebted to the Spanish, I do not recollect any reference to The Two Lovers of Heaven. The following passage, however, both in its spirit and language, presents a singular likeness to the more elaborate discussion of the same difficulty in the text. The scene is in Faustus's study. Faustus, as in the present play, takes up a volume of the New Testament, and thus proceeds: "IN THE BEGINNING WAS THE WORD". Alas! The first line stops me: how shall I proceed? "The word" cannot express the meaning here. I must translate the passage differently, If by the spirit I am rightly guided. Once more,-"IN THE BEGINNING WAS THE THOUGHT".- Consider the first line attentively, Lest hurrying on too fast, you lose the meaning. Was it then Thought that has created all things? Can thought make matter? Let us try the line Once more,-"IN THE BEGINNING WAS THE POWER"- This will not do-even while I write the phrase, I feel its faults-oh! help me, holy Spirit, I 'll weigh the passage once again, and write Boldly,-"IN THE BEGINNING WAS THE ACT". Anster's "Faustus", Francfort ed., 1841, p. 63. 5. The same line of argument is worked out with wonderful subtlety of thought and beauty of poetical expression by Calderon, in one of the finest of his Autos Sacramentales, "The Sacred Parnassus". Autos Sacramentales, tom. vi. p. 10. 6. The metre reverts here again to the asonante form, which is kept up for the remainder of this act. The vowels here used are e, e, or their equivalents. 7. "This Clytie knew, and knew she was undone, Whose soul was fix'd, and doted on the sun". OVID, Metamorphoses, b. iv. 8. In the whole of this scene the asonante vowels are a-e, or their equivalents. 9. The asonante in e-e, recommences here, and continues until the entry of Chrysanthus. 10. The metre changes to the asonante in a-e for the remainder of this Act. 11. The asonante in this scene is generally in o-e, o-o, o-a, which are nearly all alike in sound. In the second scene the asonante is in a-e, as in "scAttEr", etc. 12. See note referring to the auto, "The Sacred Parnassus", Act 1, p. 21. 13. The asonante changes here into five-lined stanzas in ordinary rhyme. Three lines rhyme one way and two the other. Poems in this metre are called in Spanish 'Versos de arte mayor,' from the greater skill supposed to be required for their composition. 14. The asonante is single here, consisting only of the long accented o, as in "ROme", "glObe", "dOme", etc. 15. Champion, or combater, the name generally given the Cid. 16. The metre changes to an irregular couplet in long and short lines. 17. The metre changes to the double asonante in e-e, which continues to the end of the drama. 18. Baptism by blood and fire through martyrdom. Calderon refers here evidently to the words of St. John the Baptist: "He shall baptize you in the Holy Ghost and fire"-St. Matth., c. iii. v. ii. The following passage in the Legend of St. Catherine must also have been present to his mind: "Et cum dolerent, quod sine baptismo decederent, virgo respondit: Ne timeatis, quia effusio vestri sanguinis vobis baptismus reputabitur et corona". Legenda Aurea, c. 167. THE SPANISH DRAMA. CALDERON'S DRAMAS AND AUTOS, Translated into English Verse BY DENIS FLORENCE MAC-CARTHY. From Ticknor's History of Spanish Literature. London: 1863. "Denis Florence M'Carthy published in London (in 1861) translations of two plays, and an auto of Calderon, under the title of 'Love, the greatest Enchantment; the Sorceries of Sin; the Devotion of the Cross, from the Spanish of Calderon, attempted strictly in English Asonante, and other imitative Verse', printing, at the same time, a carefully corrected text of the originals, page by page, opposite to his translations. It is, I think, one of the boldest attempts ever made in English verse. It is, too, as it seems to me, remarkably successful. Not that asonantes can be made fluent or graceful in English, or easily perceptible to an English ear, but that the Spanish air and character of Calderon are so happily preserved. Mr. M'Carthy, in 1853, had published two volumes of translations from Calderon, to which I have already referred; and, besides this, he has rendered excellent service to the cause of Spanish literature in other ways. But in the present volume he has far surpassed all he had previously done; for Calderon is a poet who, whenever he is translated, should have his very excesses, both in thought and manner, fully produced, in order to give a faithful idea of what is grandest and most distinctive in his genius. Mr. M'Carthy has done this, I conceive, to a degree which I had previously considered impossible. Nothing, I think, in the English language will give us so true an impression of what is most characteristic of the Spanish drama; perhaps I ought to say, of what is most characteristic of Spanish poetry generally".-tom. iii. pp. 461, 462. Extracts from Continental Reviews. From "Blaeater fuer Literarische Unterhaltung". 1862. Erster Baude, 479 Leipzig, F. A. Brockhans. "Erwaehnenswerth ist folgender Kuehne versuch einer Rachdildung Calderon' scher stuecke in Englishchen Assonanzen. "Love, the greatest enchantment; The Sorceries of Sin; The Devotion of the Cross, from the Spanish of Calderon, attempted strictly in English Asonante, and other imitative verse. By Denis Florence Mac-Carthy". Diese Uebersetzung ist dem Verfasser der "History of Spanish Literature", George Ticknor, zugeeignet, der in einem Schreiber au den Uebersetzer die Arbeit "marvellous" nennt und dam fortfaehrt: "Richt das sie die Assonanzen dem englischen Ohr so hoerbar gemacht haetten, wie dies mit den Spanischen der Fall ist; unsere widerhaarigen consonanten machen dies unmoeglich; das Wunderbare ist nur, das sie dieselben ueberhaupt hoerbar gemacht haben. Meiner Meinung nach nehme ist Ihre Assonanzen so deutlich wahr, wil die Von August Schlegel oder Gries und mehr als diejenigen Friedrich Schlegel's. Aber dieser war der erste, der den versuch dazu machte, und ausserdem bin ich Kein Deutscher. Wurde es nicht lustig sein, wenn man einmal ein solches Experiment in franzoeschicher Sprache wolte?" "Ohne zweifel wuerde MacCarthy Ohne den vorgaug deutscher Nachbilder des Calderon ebenso wenig darauf gekommen sein englische Assonanzen zu versuchen, als man ohne das ermunternde Beispiel deutscher Dichter und Uebersetzer darauf gekommen sein wurde, in Uebersetzungen und originaldichtungen unter welchen letztern wol besonders Longfellow's 'Evangeline', zu nennen ist, englische Hexameter zu versuchen, was in letzter zeit gar nicht selten geschehen ist". From "Boletin de Ferro-Carriles". Cadiz: 1862. "La novedad que nos comunica de la existencia de traducciones tan acabadas de nuestro grande e inimitable Calderon, ostendando, hasta cierto punto, las galas y formas del original, estamos seguros sera acogida con favor, si no con entusiasmo, per los verdaderos amantes de las letras espanolas. A ellos nos dirijimos, recomendandoles el ultimo trabajo del Senor Mac-Carthy, seguros de que participaran del mismo placer que nosotros hemos experimentado al examinar su fiel, al par que brillante traduccion; y en cuanto a la dificil tentativa de los asonantes ingleses, nos sorpende que el Senor Mac-Carthy haya podido sacar tanto parido, si se considera la indole peculiar de los dos idiomas". Extracts from Letters addressed to the Author. From Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Esq. Cambridge, near Boston, America, April 29, 1862. "I thank you very much for your new work in the vast and flowery fields of Calderon. It is, I think, admirable; and presents the old Spanish dramatist before the English reader in a very attractive light. "Particularly in the most poetical passages you are excellent; as, for instance, in the fine description of the gerfalcon and the heron in 'El Mayor Encanto'.-11 Jor. "Your previous volumes I have long possessed and highly prized; and I hope you mean to add more and more, so as to make the translation as nearly complete as a single life will permit. It seems rather appalling to undertake the whole of so voluminous a writer. Nevertheless, I hope you will do it. Having proved that you can, perhaps you ought to do it. This may be your appointed work. It is a noble one. "With much regard, I am, etc., "HENRY W. LONGFELLOW. "Denis Florence Mac-Carthy, Esq.". From the Same. Nahant, near Boston, August 10, 1857. "MY DEAR SIR, "Before leaving Cambridge to come down here to the sea-side, I had the pleasure of receiving your precious volume of 'Mysteries of Corpus Christi'; and should have thanked you sooner for your kindness in sending it to me, had I not been very busy at the time in getting out my last volume of Dante. "I at once read your work, with eagerness and delight-that peculiar and strange delight which Calderon gives his admirers, as peculiar and distinct as the flavour of an olive from that of all other fruits. "You are doing this work admirably, and seem to gain new strength and sweetness as you go on. It seems as if Calderon himself were behind you whispering and suggesting. And what better work could you do in your bright hours or in your dark hours than just this, which seems to have been put providentially into your hands! "The extracts from the 'Sacred Parnassus' in the Chronicle, which reached me yesterday, are also excellent. "For this and all, many and many thanks. "Yours faithfully, "HENRY W. LONGFELLOW. "Denis Florence Mac-Carthy, Esq.". From George Ticknor, Esq., the Historian of Spanish Literature. "Boston, 16th December, 1861. "In this point of view, your volume seems to me little less than marvellous. If I had not read it-indeed, if I had not carefully gone through with the "Devocion de la Cruz", I should not have believed it possible to do what you have done. Titian, they say, and some others of the old masters, laid on colours for their groundwork wholly different from those they used afterwards, but which they counted upon to shine through, and contribute materially to the grand results they produced. So in your translations, the Spanish seems to come through to the surface; the original air is always perceptible in your variations. It is like a family likeness coming out in the next generation, yet with the freshness of originality. "But the rhyme is as remarkable as the verse and the translation; not that you have made the asonante as perceptible to the English ear as it is to the Spanish; our cumbersome consonants make that impossible. But the wonder is, that you have made it perceptible at all. I think I perceive your asonantes much as I do those of August Schlegel or Gries, and more than I do those of Friederich Schlegel. But he was the first who tried them, and, besides, I am not a German. Would it not be amusing to have the experiment tried in French?" From the Same. "Boston, March 20, 1867. "The world has claims on you which you ought not to evade; and, if the path in which you walk of preference, leads to no wide popularity or brilliant profits, it is, at least, one you have much to yourself, and cannot fail to enjoy. You have chosen it from faithful love, and will always love it; I suspect partly because it is your own choice, because it is peculiarly your own". From the Same. "Boston, July 3, 1867. "Considered from this point of view, I think that in your present volume ["Mysteries of Corpus Christi", or "Autos Sacramentales" of Calderon] you are always as successful as you were in your previous publications of the same sort, and sometimes more so; easier, I mean, freer, and more happily expressive. If I were to pick out my first preference, I should take your fragment of the 'Veneno y Triaca', at the end; but I think the whole volume is more fluent, pleasing, and attractive than even its predecessors". From the first of English religious painters. "I cannot resist the impulse I have of offering you my most grateful thanks for the greatest intellectual treat I have ever experienced in my life, and which you have afforded me in the magnificent translations of the divine Calderon; for, surely, of all the poets the world ever saw, he alone is worthy of standing beside the author of the Book of Job and of the Psalms, and entrusted, like them, with the noble mission of commending to the hearts of others all that belongs to the beautiful and true, ever directing the thoughtful reader through the love of the beautiful veil, to the great Author of all perfection. "I cannot conceive a nation can receive a greater boon than being helped to a love of such works as the religious dramas of this Prince of Poets. I have for years felt this, and as your translations appeared, have read them with the greatest possible interest. I knew not of the publication of the last, and it was to an accidental, yet, with me, habitual outburst of praise of Calderon, as the antidote and cure for the trifling literature of the day, that my friend (the) D-- made me aware of its being out". [The work especially referred to in the latter part of this interesting letter is the following: "Mysteries of Corpus Christi (Autos Sacramentales), from the Spanish of Calderon, by Denis Florence Mac-Carthy". Duffy, Dublin and London, 1867.] Extracts from American and Canadian Journals. From an eloquent article in the "Boston Courier", March 18, 1862, written by George Stillman Hillard, Esq., the author of "Six Months in Italy"-a delightful book, worthy of the beautiful country it so beautifully describes. "Calderon is one of the three greatest names in Spanish literature, Lope de Vega and Cervantes being the other two. He is also a great name in the universal realm of letters, though out of Spain he is little more than a great name, except in Germany, that land so hospitable to famous wits, and where, to readers and critics of a mystical and transcendental turn, his peculiar genius strongly commended him. To form a notion of what manner of man Calderon was, we must imagine a writer hardly inferior to Shakespeare in fertility of invention and dramatic insight, inspired by a religious fervour like that of Doune or Crashaw, and endowed with the wild and ethereal imagination of Shelley. But the religious fervour is Catholic, not Protestant, Southern, not Northern: it is intense, mystical, and ecstatic: like a tongue of upward-darting flame, it burns and trembles with impassioned impulse to mingle with empyrean fire. The imagination, too, is not merely southern, but with an oriental element shining through it, like the ruddy heart of an opal". . . "But our purpose is not to speak of Calderon, but of his translator Mr. MacCarthy; and to make our readers acquainted with his very successful effort to reproduce in English some of the most characteristic productions of the genius of Spain, retaining even one of the peculiarities in the structure of the verse which has hardly ever been transplanted from the soil of the peninsula". . . . "Mr. MacCarthy's translations strike us as among the most successful experiments which have been made to represent in our language the characteristic beauties of the finest productions of other nations. They are sufficiently faithful, as may be readily seen by the Spanish scholar, as the translator has the courage to print the original and his version side by side. The rich, imaginative passages of Calderon are reproduced in language of such grace and flexibility as shows in Mr. MacCarthy no inconsiderable amount of poetical power. The measures of Calderon are retained; the rhymed passages are translated into rhyme, and what is more noticeable still, Mr. MacCarthy has done what no writer in English has ever before essayed, except to a very limited extent-he has copied the asonantes of the original". . . . "We take leave of Mr. MacCarthy with hearty acknowledgments for the pleasure we have had in reading his excellent translations, which have given us a sense of Calderon's various and brilliant genius such as we never before had, and no analysis of his dramas, however full and careful, could bestow". From a Review of "Love the Greatest Enchantment", etc., in the "New York Tablet", July 19, 1862, written by the gifted and ill-fated Hon. Thomas D'Arcy M'Gee, of Montreal. "This beautiful volume before us-like virtue's self, fair within and without-is Mr. Mac-Carthy's second contribution to the Herculean task which Longfellow cheers him on to continue-the translation into English of the complete works of Calderon. Two experimental volumes, containing six dramas of the same author, appeared in 1853, winning the well-merited encomium of every person of true taste into whose hands they happened to fall. The Translator was encouraged, if not by the general chorus of popular applause, by the precious and emphatic approbation of those best entitled by knowledge and accomplishments to pronounce judgment. So here, after an interval of seven years, we have right worthily presented to us three of those famous Autos, which for two centuries drew together all the multitude of the Madrilenos, on the annual return of the great feast of Corpus Christi. On that same self-same festival, in a northern land, under a gray and clouded sky, in the heart of a city most unlike gay, garden-hued, out-of-door Madrid, we have spent the long hours over these resurrected dramas, and the spell of both the poets is still upon us, as we unite together, in dutiful juxtaposition, the names of Calderon and Mac-Carthy. "How richly gifted was this Spanish priest-poet! this pious playwright! this moral mechanist! this devout dramatist! How rare his experience! how broad the contrasts of his career, and of his observation. . . . . Happy poet! blessed with such fecundity! Happy Christian! blessed with such fidelity to the divine teachings of the Cross. . . . "Very highly do we reverence Calderon, and very highly value his translator; yet, if it be not presumptuous to say so, we venture to suggest that Mac-Carthy might find nearer home another work still worthier of his genius than these translations. Now that he has got the imperial ear by bringing his costly wares from afar, are there not laurels to be gathered as well in Ireland as in Spain? The author of 'The Bell-Founder', of 'St. Brendan's Voyage', of 'The Foray of Con O'Donnell', and 'The Pillar Towers', needs no prompting to discern what abundant materials for a new department of English poetry are to be found almost unused on Irish ground. May we not hope that in that field or forest he may find his appointed work, adding to the glory of first worthily introducing Calderon to the English readers of this century, the still higher glory of doing for the neglected history of his fatherland what he has chivalrously done for the illustrious Spaniard". A LIST OF Calderon's Dramas and Autos Sacramentales, Translated into English Verse BY DENIS FLORENCE MAC-CARTHY, M.R.I.A. THE PURGATORY OF SAINT PATRICK. "With the 'Purgatory of St. Patrick' especial pains seem to have been taken". "Considerable license has been taken with the prayer of St. Patrick; but its spirit is well preserved, and the translator's poetry must be admired". "If Calderon can ever be made popular here, it must be in the manner generally adopted by Mr. Mac-Carthy in the specimens, six in number, which are here translated, preserving, namely, the metrical form, which is one of the characteristics of the old Spanish drama. This medium, through which it partakes of the lyrical character, is no accident of style, but an essential property of that remarkable creation of a poetic age-remarkable, because while the drama so adorned was entirely the offspring of popular impulse, in opposition to many rigorous attempts in favour of classical methods, it was at the same time raised above the tone of common expression by the rhythmical mode which it assumed, in a manner decisive of its ideal tendency. It thus displays a combination rare in this kind of poetry: the spirit of an untutored will, embodied in a form the romantic expression of which might seem only congenial to choice and delicate fancies. . . . . "In conclusion, what has now been said of Calderon, and of the stage which he adorned, as well as of the praise justly due to parts of Mr. Mac-Carthy's version, will at least serve to commend these volumes to curious lovers of poetry". From an elaborate article in "The Athenaeum", by the late eminent Spanish scholar, Mr. J. R. Chorley, on the first two volumes of Mr. Mac-Carthy's translations from Calderon. THE CONSTANT PRINCE. A Drama. "In his dramas of a serious and devout character, in virtue of their dignified pathos, tragic sublimity, and religious fervour, Calderon's best title to praise will be found. In such, above all in his Autos, he reached a height beyond any of his predecessors, whose productions, on religious themes especially, striking as many of them are, with situations and motives of the deepest effect, are not sustained at the same impressive elevation, nor disposed with that consummate judgment which leaves nothing imperfect or superfluous in the dramas of Calderon. 'The Constant Prince' and 'The Physician of his own Honour', which Mr. Mac-Carthy has translated, are noble instances representing two extremes of a large class of dramas". From the same article in "The Athenaeum", by J. R. Chorley. THE PHYSICIAN OF HIS OWN HONOUR. "'The Physician of his own Honour' is a domestic tragedy, and must be one of the most fearful to witness ever brought upon the stage. The highest excess of dramatic powers, terror and gloom has certainly been reached in this drama". From an eloquent article in "The Dublin University Magazine" on "D. F. Mac-Carthy's Calderon". THE SECRET IN WORDS. A Drama. "The ingenious verbal artifice of 'The Secret in Words', although a mere trifle if compared to the marvellous intricacy of a similar cipher in Tirso's 'Amar por Arte Mayor', from which Calderon's play was taken-loses sadly in a translation; yet the piece, even with this disadvantage, cannot fail to please". J. R. Chorley in "The Athenaeum". THE SCARF AND THE FLOWER. A Drama. "The 'Scarf and the Flower', nice and courtly though it be, the subject spun out and entangled with infinite skill, is too thin by itself for an interest of three acts long; and no translation, perhaps, could preserve the grace of manner and glittering flow of dialogue which conceal this defect in the original". J. R. Chorley in "The Athenaeum". LOVE AFTER DEATH. A Drama. "'Love after Death' is a drama full of excitement and beauty, of passion and power, of scenes whose enthusiastic affection, self-devotion, and undying love are drawn with more intense colouring than we find in any other of Calderon's works". From an article in "The Dublin University Magazine" on D. F. Mac-Carthy's Calderon. "Another tragedy, 'Love after Death', is connected with the hopeless rising of the Moriscoes in the Alpujarras (1568-1570), one of whom is its hero. It is for many reasons worthy of note; amongst others, as showing how far Calderon could rise above national prejudices, and expend all the treasures of his genius in glorifying the heroic devotedness of a noble foe". Archbishop Trench. LOVE THE GREATEST ENCHANTMENT A Drama. "This fact connects the piece with the first and most pleasing in the volume, 'Love the greatest Enchantment', in which the same myth [that of Circe and Ulysses] is exhibited in a more life-like form, though not without some touches of allegory. Here we have a classical plot which is adapted to the taste of Spain in the seventeenth century by a plentiful admixture of episodes of love and gallantry. The adventure is opened with nearly the same circumstances as in the tenth Odyssey: but from the moment that Ulysses, with the help of a divine talisman, has frustrated all the spells (beauty excepted) of the enchantress, the action is adapted to the manners of a more refined and chivalrous circle". "The Saturday Review" in its review of "Mac-Carthy's Three Plays of Calderon". THE DEVOTION OF THE CROSS. A Drama. "The last drama to which Mr. Mac-Carthy introduces us is the famous 'Devotion of the Cross'. We cannot deny the praise of great power to this strange and repulsive work, in which Calderon draws us onward by a deep and terrible dramatic interest, while doing cruel violence to our moral nature. . . . Our readers may be glad to compare the translations which Archbishop Trench and Mr. Mac-Carthy have given us of a celebrated address to the Cross contained in this drama. 'Tree whereon the pitying skies', etc. Mr. Mac-Carthy does not appear to us to suffer from comparison on this occasion with a true poet, who is also a skilful translator. Indeed he has faced the difficulties and given the sense of the original with more decision than Archbishop Trench". "The Guardian", in its review of the same volume. THE SORCERIES OF SIN. An Auto. "The central piece, the 'Sorceries of Sin', is an 'Auto Sacramental', or Morality, of which the actors represent Man, Sin, Voluptuousness, etc., Understanding, and the Five Senses. The Senses are corrupted by the influence of Sin, and figuratively changed into wild beasts. Man, accompanied by Understanding and Penance, demands their liberation and encounters no resistance; but his free-will is afterwards seduced by the Evil Power, and his allies reclaim him with difficulty. Yet the plan of the apologue is embellished with many ingenious conceits and artifices, and conformed in the leading circumstances with an Homeric myth-the names of Ulysses and Circe being frequently substituted for those of the Man and Sin". "The Saturday Review" on "Mac-Carthy's Three Plays of Calderon". BELSHAZZAR'S FEAST. An Auto. "The first auto translated is 'Belshazzar's Feast', a fortunate selection, for it is probably unsurpassed in dramatic effect and poetic description, and withal is much less encumbered with theology than most others". From an article in "The New York Nation", by a distinguished professor of Cornell University, on "Mac-Carthy's Translations of Calderon". THE DIVINE PHILOTHEA. An Auto. "'The Divine Philothea', probably the last work of the kind written by Calderon, and as such worthy of attention, inasmuch as it is the composition of an old man of eighty-one, is conceived with much boldness and executed with marvellous skill. No fewer than twenty personages are represented on the stage, and these have their several parts allotted to them with great discrimination, ingenuity, and judgment. The Senses, the Cardinal Virtues; Paganism and Judaism; Heresy and Atheism; the Prince of Light and the Power of Darkness, figure amongst the characters". "The Bookseller", June 29, 1867, on Mac-Carthy's "Mysteries of Corpus Christi (Autos Sacramentales), from the Spanish of Calderon". THE TWO LOVERS OF HEAVEN. A Drama. "Of these 'The Wonder-working Magician' is most celebrated; but others, as 'The Joseph of Women', 'The Two Lovers of Heaven', quite deserve to be placed on a level if not higher than it. A tender pathetic grace is shed over this last, which gives it a peculiar charm". Archbishop Trench. Calderon's Autos Sacramentales, or Mysteries of Corpus Christi. Duffy: Dublin and London, 1867. From "The Irish Ecclesiastical Record". "In conclusion, we heartily commend to our readers this most interesting and valuable specimen of Spanish thought and devotion, wrought, as it is, into such pure and beautiful English. . . . . When we remember the great literary advantages which Spain once possessed in the intellect and faith of her literary giants, we may well rejoice in the appearance among us of one of the greatest of that noble race in the person of Calderon, especially when introduced to us by a poet whose claim upon our consideration has been so emphatically made good by his own original productions as Denis Florence Mac-Carthy". THE SPANISH DRAMA Just ready, double columns, price 2s. 6d., THE TWO LOVERS OF HEAVEN, From the Spanish of Calderon, BY DENIS FLORENCE MAC-CARTHY, Author of The Voyage of St. Brendan, The Bell-Founder, Waiting for the May, etc. DUBLIN: W. B. KELLY, 8 GRAFTON STREET. BY THE SAME AUTHOR. In one vol. small 4to, double columns, with the Spanish text, beautifully printed by Whittingham, Price 7s. 6d., THREE DRAMAS OF CALDERON, FROM THE SPANISH, BY DENIS FLORENCE MAC-CARTHY. From Ticknor's History of Spanish Literature. "It is, I think, one of the boldest attempts ever made in English verse. It is, too, as it seems to me, remarkably successful . . . "Nothing, I think, in the English language will give us so true an impression of what is most characteristic of the Spanish drama: perhaps I ought to say, of what is most characteristic of Spanish poetry generally".-tom. iii. pp. 461, 462. BERNARD QUARITCH, 15 PICCADILLY, LONDON. Transcriber's Notes. General. I have rendered instances of small capitals as all capitals. In most instances I have made no attempt to indicate here instances of italics in the original publication. Accents and other diacritical marks have also been dropt. However, where the original has an acute accent over the "e" in a past participle for poetical reasons, I have marked this with a grave accent (as in "learn`ed") to indicate the intended pronunciation. For a fully formatted version, with italics, extended characters, et cetera, please refer to the HTML version of this play, released by Project Gutenberg simultaneously with this plain text edition. General. Only the most obvious of printer's errors have been corrected in this electronic edition. Some inconsistent use of quotation marks and several forms of ellipses (with varying numbers of dots and spaces) have been retained as originally published. I have also retained the original's format of contractions, namely to include a space as in "I 'll" rather than "I'll." Play, General. Stage directions following lines of spoken text are typically right justified in the printed source. In this electronic edition they simply follow the line of spoken text. Play, General. In a few places, Denis Florence MacCarthy's (1817-1882) translation as published differs noticeably from a Spanish (or more properly, Castillano) text of the drama, published after this translation, available to this transcriber. I do not have access to the Spanish edition that Mr. MacCarthy used as the basis of his translation, so perhaps a better preserved version of Pedro Calderon de la Barca's (1600-1681) drama was discovered. Or perhaps Mr. MacCarthy used some poetic license in editing the drama. Some differences may be due to printer's errors. Whatever the reason, I have noted below these differences so that a reader comparing this e-book to a Spanish edition will not be confused about these omission, and think them caused by a transcription error of mine, or pages missing from the printed source. Act 1, Scene 2. Ovid's 'Remedy of Love' is referred to three times, but as 'Remedies of Love' on the third occasion. A Spanish text has "Remedio" the first time, and "Remedios" elsewhere. I have found references to the work as both 'Remedium Amoris' and 'Remedia Amoris.' Act 1, Scene 2. There is an apparent discrepancy in the play. Chloris is clearly present in the grove, and in "Persons" is listed as one of four priestesses of Diana, yet the lines "We three share;-'t is thy delight" and "For here three objects we behold" imply she is not part of the group of priestesses. There is no stage direction [such as: (Chloris sits behind a tree.] in the printed source, nor in a Spanish text of the play, to explain this. Perhaps (as may be guessed from the line "From their tender years go thither" in the previous scene) the character is an acolyte or novice priestess played by a child. She only appears in this scene. Act 1, Scene 2. "My blessings on your choice and you! / . . . Are nothing to a pretty face." A Spanish text gives Escarpin seventeen lines here, rather than five. The last dozen lines contain a story of a clever vixen and a comely partridge. Act 1, Scene 3. The line "Yes, God and Man is Christ" is not indented in the printed source, but logically should be, and is in a Spanish text of the play. I have indented it above. Act 1, Scene 3. The line "Why delay? Arrest them." in the printed source is shown as two lines ("Why delay? / Arrest them."), but this seems to be a printer's error as it breaks the asonante verse pattern. Act 1, Scene 3. In order to preserve the verse, I have indented the line "Why, why, O heavens!" Act 2, Scene 1. I have indented the line "What then?" Act 2, Scene 1. With the line "Clemency in fine had won," there is another apparent discrepancy in the play. Polemius is angry at Chrysanthus when the soldiers return in Act 1, Scene 3. Act 2, Scene 3. In the line "Here the jasmin doubly white," the word jasmine is spelt without an "e." Act 2, Scene 3. In Nisida's song, in the line "The bless`ed rapture of forgetting", the printed source has "blessed" without an accent on the second "e." Because this line is repeated twice more in the scene with the accent, I have added it to this first instance in the text above. Act 2, Scene 3. The printed source lists Escarpin as the speaker of the lines "My lord, oh! hearken / To my song once more." A Spanish text indicates that Nisida speaks here, as is only logical, so I have listed Nisida as speaker in the text above. Act 2, Scene 3. There seems to be a gap in the dialog after "Not myself, no aid is granted." A Spanish text has four additional lines here: [D.] Luego tu tan de su parte / Estas, que a ellos los ensalzas? / [C.] Si; que he visto muchas cosas / Hoy en mi favor obradas. Act 3, Scene 1. In a Spanish text, after the line "I could listen to such nonsense?" Escarpin has five lines of monolog. Act 3, Scene 1. In a Spanish text the line "Whence did sound the voice?" is spoken by Chrysanthus, which would naturally agree with Polemius' reply to Chrysanthus immediately below. Also, just before this line, Chrysanthus says: Sin mi me ha dejado a mi. Act 3, Scene 1. In the line "The two lover saints of Heaven." the phrase "lover saints" is not hyphenated, although the same phrase is hyphenated just before the end of the play. The Spanish text has "Los dos amantes del cielo" in both places. Act 3, Scene 1. After the line "The two lover saints of Heaven." there are forty lines of dialog between Escarpin and Polemius. In typical Escarpine style, it contains a story. Here is a free translation: A man is on trial for killing his father and loving his mother. The judge berates the lawyer, "How dare you defend a man who has committed the worst possible crime." The lawyer replies, "I disagree, your Honor, for to kill his mother and love his father would, indeed, have been a worse crime." Act 3, Scene 2. There is a break in the asonante verse at the line "They the open country seek". Act 3, Scene 2. In the line "So part pagan and part christian", near the end of the scene, Christian is not capitalized in the printed source. Publication Date: May 20th 2008 https://www.bookrix.com/-librarian

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Alada Porter A Slow Descent The Woes of the Help Susan slowly pulls the mop out of its bucket; she rings it out carefully, only to be assaulted with the sound of dirty water drip drip dripping onto the white linoleum floor. She bites her lip and rubs her thumb against the ribbed surface of the mop handle over and over and over until the skin is worn down to the lowest, reddest layer. She takes a deep breath. The daily routine will continue, and she will come out alive. She walks backwards as she mops, the wet spots closing in on her and rapidly leaving her with no space to move. She tries to take one more step back but is greeted with a dull thud as her foot taps a little too forcefully into the wall. Trapped. She is trapped. And just like that, the frustration pops. “Goddamn it!” she says out loud, sinking to the floor and pressing her knees up to her chest, her small feet just barely touching the edge of her little island. She suddenly feels like crying, but she doesn’t know why. “Oh, ******** me.” She buries her face in her hands, wondering if she has made a mistake, if her life has only been made of mistakes. “Hey, are you okay?” She looks up to see the owner of the house’s son, a boy of barely sixteen, standing on the line of carpet where the living room turns into the kitchen. He smiles at her softly; his teeth are slightly crooked, but it’s a nice smile, nonetheless. “Uh, yeah, I’m fine.” She stands up quickly, feeling the heat rush into her face. She wishes she still wore her hair down, like she had in high school, but it’s tied too tightly against her scalp; she has nothing to hide behind anymore. “… Is the floor wet?” he says finally. “Yes?” It comes out like a question, and she looks down, embarrassed by her timidity. “Wait a minute.” He walks away and comes back with an armful of towels. Slowly, carefully, he lays them down in a line coming straight at her, the last one just reaching her toes. “I’ve laid out the red carpet for you my lady,” he smiles, holding out his hand to her. She doesn’t mean to, but she grabs it, driven by an outside force. An outside force that likes the attention. “Thanks,” a voice smoother than her own replies, her lips spreading into a smile against her will. His eyes scan her, all the way up and down, like he has never really seen her before. “Hey, no problem. How can I walk away from a woman in trouble?” He laughs, winking at her. “A woman in trouble...” she replies softly, letting go of his hand and taking a step backward. “Uh, yeah,” he says, looking confused, “You always look so... sad, whenever I see you. I just thought that maybe I could, um, help you out… for once. ” She walks out of there as fast as she possibly can while maintaining some semblance of composure, but the hand carrying her bucket of supplies shakes and her chest constricts, and it takes every last bit of will power to climb into her car and drive home. It's All About Who You Know She finally stumbles through the door, feeling defeated. She has never been good with talking to people, she’s never been good at doing anything really, and it’s always been hard for her to keep away the panic that always seemed to be building in her lungs. Irrational fear. Isn’t that what her old psychiatrist used to tell her? She suddenly wishes that she could talk to him again. She tries to conjure up his face, but it’s blurry. She hasn’t been to a psychiatrist since she was fourteen. The face she ends up with is Sigmund Freud. She supposes it’s better than nothing. “Why do you feel this way, Susan?” Freud asks, taking a long drag from his pipe. “I don’t know.” “Really? You honestly don’t know?” “I really don’t.” “Fine.” He rubs his imaginary fingers against his imaginary temples, “Then tell me, what exactly are you feeling? You can tell me that can’t you?” She pauses, trying to comprehend her twisted up emotions, but the words leave her mouth before the thought was even finished, “Regret, shame, and fear. There’s always fear.” “And why is that?” She can’t take it anymore; she turns away and runs to the bathroom, wrenching open the medicine cabinet to find those pills she bought. She swallows two without water, feeling the hard corners rub dryly against her throat all the way down. She puts the bottle away and then rethinks it, pulling it back out and taking two more. “Pathetic.” Freud says from behind her. She closes her eyes. She had been given the chance to get married once, but her nerves hadn’t let her. She had been too afraid of the strain of married life, the strain of children, the strain of a real job and a real life. “How does it feel Suzy? Your strain-less life?” Freud asks, his voice a whisper against her ear. “Pathetic.” She wakes up not knowing what time it is. Her cheek is pressed up against the cold tile floor, her hair is plastered with vomit, and her stomach feels like it has been corroded away. She sits up slowly, her bones creaking; she grabs the edge of the sink, attempting to pull herself up, but fails. Eventually she gives up and just sits, one hand on the sink, the other hanging limply at her side. She cries then, and she doesn’t stop until she hears the alarm in her room that says that it’s time for her to go to work. When she does hear it, she forces herself up, washes her hair in the sink, and stumbles her way into the bedroom to change into her uniform for the day. And So It Ends After work is over Susan stops by the liquor store to pick up a couple of groceries. She used to go to the grocery store, but it had been too taxing on her nerves, to big, too many people. The liquor store was safer. But her neurosis's are worse lately. Even the liquor store, which she must visit at least 15 times a month, is giving her hives. The fluorescent lights beat against her brow and she can feel cold sweat running down the back of her neck. Every shelf is a maze, every person is one person too many and she feels cramped, trapped. She closes her eyes to keep the panic from reaching her throat. Maybe it's best if she just leaves; she can deal with this later, after a pill or two. But every time she tries to take a step towards the door she can feel Freud's hand on her shoulder, guiding her away from it. He doesn't say anything, but he doesn't need to. She's not allowed to leave until he says so. The panic grows big and fat in her throat like a tumor. “Susan?” The panic shrinks slightly at the sound of the familiar voice and she turns around. It’s the boy’s mother, Marjorie J. “Ah, hello Mrs. J.” she replies weakly, the hand holding the basket shaking. “I’m glad I ran into you. I was wondering if you would mind coming over today at about eleven O’clock or so? We’re throwing a party and it’s going to be a huge mess, so I’d really appreciate it. I’ll pay you double.” “I don’t-” “Do it Susan,” Freud interrupts, placing a hand on her shoulder. She shivers at his touch and finds herself nodding, moving her mouth to say words in the affirmative. Mrs. J. doesn’t seem to see the turmoil. “Wonderful! I’ll see you then.” She walks off, the click click click of her heels hammering into her skull like the nails on a coffin. “Why do I have to go? Can’t I just-“ “No. You can never ‘just’ do anything. If you don’t keep moving, you’ll die. Besides, the party will probably be over by then anyway, you can handle cleaning can’t you?” His voice is firm, and she does not argue. When she arrives at eleven o’clock the party is clearly not over. She can hear the laughter and the music from the other side of the door, and as she takes the first step up to the porch, her entire body is covered with goose bumps. “What are you so afraid of?” Freud asks, his eyes admonishing her for her unwanted and melodramatic fears. She looks down at her black suede shoes; she has chosen them on purpose, so that if she ever gets the desire to look at them she won't have to stare at her own reflection. She silently applauds her foresight, the last thing she needs right now is to stare herself in the face. “I don’t know, please, just let me go home.” She can feel his stare boring into her back and her eyes begin to blur with tears. What does he want? She doesn't understand why she feels the way that she does, so how could she possibly tell him? All she knows is that she wants to run away. “Oh please, it’s just a party. Don’t you like parties?” It’s a different voice this time, a woman’s voice. Susan turns to the left and sees a tall, beautiful woman, dressed in a black cocktail dress. The woman looks like a more glamorous version of herself. “Please, let me leave,” she begs, turning back and forth between them, hoping one will give her sympathy. Freud and the woman laugh. “It’s a lovely party, why don’t you live a little? You don’t have to clean until it’s over, so why don’t you…” Susan feels a push on her back forcing her closer to the door, and she watches as a her hand, uncontrolled by her, turns the knob, “… have some fun?” From the moment that she opens the door there is nothing. She sees only darkness and is tortured by her own voice, echoing from a far away place; her own voice, saying things she would never say, laughing in a way she would never laugh. "Oh, you're such a cutie pie," she hears her voice say, laughing in that odd way. "Um, thanks Susan. You know, you seem really different today, are you okay?" she instantly recognizes the soft male voice as Marjorie's son's. She opens her mouth to yell, to try to get her voice to reach out of the darkness, but there is no sound. 'Please!' she silently begs, 'Let me out! This isn't me!' There is no answer and she gives up, sitting the the darkness, waiting to be released. She feels no hope, but at the same time she can't bring herself to feel sadness either, who is she anyway? Maybe it's better if she could just go away for a while. 'Okay Susan, you want out? I'll let you out. Go see how much everyone has.....missed you," the woman in black laughs her strange laugh as she says it, Susan tries not to think about what she means. When she opens her eyes the party is over and Marjorie is standing in front of her, her mouth curved into a pleased smile. Her son is standing next to her, he looks less pleased. “I had no idea you had it in you, Susan. I’m glad you showed up before the party ended. You deserve to have a good time once in a while, you’ve been working for me for seventeen years and I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile so much.” "Yes," she says slowly, feeling odd. Her senses are coming back slower than they should and it takes her several seconds to realize that there is a hand on her shoulder, rubbing its way up and down her neck and along her collarbone. She turns to look at the source of the hand, startled to find a strange man standing there, smiling at her. He leans over to press his lips up against her ear. “Would you like to come back to my place?” She looks away from him, wide-eyed, her eyes darting back and forth between Marjorie and her son. Marjorie sees nothing wrong, but the boy seems to sense her uneasiness and take a step towards her. But he moves no closer than one step, his face betraying the uneasiness he feels in 'helping' a thirty-five year old woman get away from people who are being nice to her. She's not sure what she should do, so she stands frozen, unable to move. "Are you alright, dear?" Marjorie says, laughing uneasily. The man with the hand on her shoulder waves away the question with a flick of his wrist. “Oh, she’s fine, she’s probably just had a little too much to drink. I'd better take her home.” "No, I-" she stops, feeling a hand over her mouth. "Shhh!" the woman in black whispers in her ear, "Do you want to ruin everything? People like you this way, people like you better when I'm you. Why do you always have to be weird? This is why nobody likes you." Susan stops, considering her words, wondering why they don't hurt her as she's sure they are meant to. Oh. She suddenly realizes. It's because it's true. Nobody has ever liked the 'real' Susan. The 'real' Susan is the girl who shuffled between classes, never looking anyone in the eye; the 'real' Susan is the girl who never had dreams or hopes, who ran away when people asked her a question, who cried when her pencil broke and never went to college because she didn't want to move. Nobody likes that Susan. She looks over at the boy; he's nervous, eying her up and down, not quite sure what to do. He likes her. "What's one teenage boy?" the woman in black sneers, "What does he matter, when everyone else hates you. You're not strong enough, Susan. It would be better if you just went away. It's really better this way." The truth of these words seems undeniable, and Susan no longer feels like fighting. So she closes her eyes and lets go. She can feel all those despairing, strange, unmanageable feelings and pain within her wilting. Oh, she thinks for the last time, it is better this way. It really is. “Oh, I'm sorry I seem so off, I'm just a little tipsy. I had a wonderful time,” the woman in black says with Susan’s old lips. The boy stares and stares, but Susan isn't there anymore. The light in those brown eyes isn't plain enough, isn't sad enough to be Susan. He can't look anymore, so he turns away, confused and afraid. But no one else notices. The world is full of smiles. Publication Date: May 14th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-mokomonko

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-perfect-chemistry-jacob-the-easily-tempered/

Perfect Chemistry Jacob the easily tempered Text: Perfect Chemistry Editing: Perfect Chemistry All rights reserved. Publication Date: August 17th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-perectchemistry101

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-scooter66137-alone/

scooter66137 Alone the hard life to my mom,dad,and little sister the party Kindle Lee, born in 1997, 15 years old,St.Louis Missouri.Kindle Lee always wants what she wants.She can be good but bad when she wants to be.Kindle went to school one morning.She went to her locker and there was a invitation to a party.She really wanted to go.Kindle got home from school that day."Hey mom I got invited to a party and I was wondering if I could go"said Kindle."After sneaking out to go to three other party's um I don't think so!" Kindle was mad. She was going to sneak out a fourth time.At 9:00 she put pillows under the blanket to make it look like she was there.She heard her mom coming up the stairs and she hid under her bed.Her mom was coming to make sure she was there.After that she quietly went downstairs,opened the door,and walked to her friends house where the party was.When she got there her friend,Mia,the won who threw the party,asked,"Did you sneak out again." "Yeah but I got it figured out." When the party was over she walked home.She quietly opened the door and came in. get out Kindle walked in to the kitchen to get some water,and her mom was in there!"So Kindle you snuk out again,put pillows under your blanket so I would think you were there,and guess what i'm not going to deal with it anymore,GET OUT!" "What i'm just 14 I can't live by myself!" "I said GET OUT!" Kindle ran out the house crying and sat on her porch step and started thinking.I thought my mom loved me and cared for me,why would she kick me out the house,she thought.She fell asleep on her porch.Kindle woke up very sad,she started walking and was hungry but she can't ask for food,can she.Kindle walked to her friends,Mia's house.She knocked on the door,her friend,Mia opened it.Kindle said,"I got kicked out my house,i'm starving and I don't know what to do.Mia said, "Come on in I will get you something to eat."Okay",said Kindle.Mia's mom came into the living room and saw Kindle.Mia's mom asked "Why is Kindle in the living room Mia?" "She got kicked out her house and is starving so I am fixing her a sandwich"Mia said."Well when she's finished with her sandwich get her out,I don't lie that girl,But,I said get her out,uh fine.Mia told her after her sandwich she had to get out.Kindle was devastated when she heard that,she did't have anywhere else to go. he knows how it feels Kindle finishes her sandwich and walks out the door very sad.She walks around and runs into a guy about 16."Hi,did you get kicked out your house for sneaking into a party,silly question." The guy says,"Well kind of yes,that is exactly what happened to me,I went to my friend,Mia's party Friday night on Mellow street."What,I went to my friend Mia's house Friday night on Mellow street!",Kindle says."Really,my name is Josh I probably go to your school.They talk for about thirty more minutes."I don't have anywhere to go"said Kindle."Me neither"said Josh."Hey you wanna like stay together,like be buds,said Kindle."Sure we'll be buds,said Josh.Kindle was so happy that she met someone that knows how it is to be alone. the deal That night they found somewhere they could sleep.They found a abandon train,they slep there.The next morning they had to get some food,so they went to Mia's to get a sandwich like Kindle did the othere day.They ate their sandwich and went outside.They found a empty cup.Josh asked if Kindle could sing,she sounded like angels,so they were going to sing a duet to earn some money.They started singing.People started giving a lot of money.First a 5$,then 10$ then a 20$ bill.Things were going really good.Kindle started having fellings for Josh,and Josh started having feelings for Kindle.The next day they started singing and a record dealer came up and said to them"That is some good singing,I think I want to give you a record deal."What!",they said at the same time."Well instead of the record deal can we just have cash,we can really use that.",said Kindle."Well I could give you a house that allready has furniture because I don't have any cash right now."WE WILL TAKE IT!",they say together. the perfect ending The record dealer said "Well you want me to show you the house now?" "Sure.,they said.They moved right in.Two years later they got married and had two children named Chris and Caya and they lived happy ever after. THE END Publication Date: July 25th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-scooter66137

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-bernard-j-dory/

Bernard J. Dory An Immortal Resolution My books are dedicated to my family, The Joseph Clan. Remember who you are from the Bible to the present day. Act I Dory stepped away from her office in the third floor of the castle to rest her eyes and to feel the weather this afternoon. She adopted this habit after her return to the castle. She felt she needed to remind herself that she was not that superior to other people. There were greater thing in this world than living sucking monster at night. In her mind, she made the right call every time and she saved one life each time by doing this. She contemplated the sunset, the trees moving to the rhythm of the wind, and the green screen she could perceive with her red eyes. The birds did not pass unnoticed as well as big wild animals in this little forest. She concentrated hard enough to see a mother bird defended its children against a snake. The snake was the predator and predator did not always get their prey. Through her eyes she imagined her corpse on the ground living the normal specie to grow and to flourish. She might as well start doing it while she was alive. Her ten folding times pain stuck with her everyday from the moment she regained her way again during this eternity life. Life had meaning once more especially with her niece Jessica, her sister left in her care. She smiled. Her therapy worked every time and she would walk back to her office (Description). Dory entered the room and startled the moment she stepped in. Jessica stood in front of the window. Focus on the development of an event, she did not bother to look behind her shoulder. "I lost another friend again aunty. To time. It is not fair. Is it wrong to want death? I meet countless great person every five decade. They touch my life or I touch theirs. At the end, They are gone and I am still here." Jessica, Dory niece started to question her worth like any other immortals and at her age she had right to the answers. Dory could not remember the last she saw Jessica in her office all grown up. The little girl she had the chance to raise had become a woman and her curiosity came with the age. Jessica was 30 years old for her appearance, but in reality she was 105 years old. Flawless skin, nice tint, Black hair, big grey eyes, flat nose, curvy mouth, long figure, and an amazing body. She worked out everyday and had a club to encourage everyone in town. Her passion was letters and she liked to read. Dory found her many times over in her office reading around the corner her books and more. She did it too at the library for children where she helped people in the town with their kids. She could find answers for everything, except for what she was. Jessica counted a century already but her immortal maturity just begun. "No honey, but for us, we die at the time of our choosing. I am sorry about your friend. You will remember her always. Did you add her to your journal?" Dory tried to comfort her niece with some advices and this time she worried. Jessica kept watching the people mourned her and sent her to the other side. Sadness covered her face, and her need for answers kicked in. "Of course and they will always be with me." Jessica turned around with her frustrated face toward Dory. She was putting order in her papers and she felt Jessica blood thrust for the first time. She quickly directed her attention to her. Jessica was not supposed to express her blood thirst. Dory looked at her and she saw her sister. Her eyebrows folded, her mouth tightened and her face cracked a little. "I wanna know why aunty. Why can we live that long? Why do we have to suffer that much? Why are we choose to live this life? Aunty it is time to tell me, don't you think?" "Well, I suppose." Dory sighed hard and let the papers fell on the desk without concern of their importance. Her niece represented all for her, so she needs to trust her making the right decision after she knew the truth. "The truth, I did not agree with your mother to turn you into this being. Despite the fact you came to us dead. I refuse to give you this life." Act II   The surprise in Jessica face was not unexpected and her frozen reaction in front of the desk and her aunty considered normal. Dory went to her book dorm and pressed on the cover. This key book left an opening with two albums, old album. She reached them, pulled them and show them to Jessica. She had not moved an inch for three long minutes. Life stopped for her the moment her aunty told her a truth she was unaware. "What are those?" Jessica advanced slowly to grab one. "This album is my Life and this album is yours. I am going to tell you who we are through my story. I hope you listen. Not everything will make sense at first." Dory unfolded her album and flipped the first page. The first picture appeared the school group in the year she attended high school with her best friend Gabrielle. The picture that followed was both of them in hugging for the end of their high school year, the last time they were together and happy. "Who is she?" Jessica asked quickly pointing her to Dory in the picture. "That is Gabrielle, she was my best friend. She was one of us at the beginning." Dory did not want to affect her judgement but Jessica asked for the truth. So she must be ready to hear the ugly ones as well. "What happened?" "I…killed...her to save someone." Dory memories rushed through her heads with a speed that her mind could only stay at that moment in time where her life changed for the first time. Jessica noticed the unnecessary pause and tried to wake her up, but at the contact of their hand, their minds synchronized and Dory memories flowed through her. Jessica found herself in Dory life in the day of her last school day. In <...> town, each year, each June, at this point in time, between day 10 to 15, the town got crowdy and the street counted the right numbers of students and children from school. Children succeeded, grew, and changed class. Life continued yet some succeeded, grew, and moved on into reality. Dory and Gabrielle were ones of many who would meet reality after their last class at the Elementary high school. Happy, sure of themselves, and jumping of joy for their new short freedom. At that time, The same night of this day, everyone was getting ready to go to the parade. This parade usually fell in the same day school doors closed until August or September. The people celebrated the day of their savior, their hero, and some even say their God. The girls had plan to go with their boyfriends, but the guys screwed up in the last party they went. The girls heard about their excursion and their resolution was clear. So the girls dropped them hard before the whole school. Now, as usual, Dory and Gabrielle, inseparable as always, would attend the parade together without the boys. "So do you know what you are going to put?" Gabrielle demanded Dory watching her thinking out loud. "I will find something. Do not worry. I only hope we could find some boys to keep us company. It was always fun to have them close." Dory deduced answering to Gabrielle who at her turn was thinking. "Yeah, it was great to have them around. Well, their loss. Anyway, the day is long we might find some new guys." Gabrielle just finished her sentence when a convertible red parked close to them on the street in front of Mrs. Delaine Coffeeshop. This Coffeeshop united everyone in town because it was the only one Coffeeshop that attracted even ants before, while, and after brewing. Marcus got down of the car and looked at Dory. Impossible to miss her, the beauty of her soul reflected out of her body. "Hi. How are you?" Marcus caught Dory attention with a simple greeting and she heard him before he could finish. "Hi, I am fine thank you." Dory smiled to him and aligned her fallen string hair behind her ears. She blushed as Marcus got close enough to hold her. "Listen, we are new in town and we are visiting. We are thinking maybe you girls might help us better. What do you think?" for some reason, Dory could not refuse him his demands and Marcus got more attractive as their conversation grew. "Maybe you guys should come to the parade later. The perfect moment for meeting the town will be there tonight." Gabrielle interrupted them in their connection and Marcus glimpsed at Master to see if everything would be fine to join the parade. "Definitely, it might be much easier to meet the people in town. Where do you live now?" Dory peeked at Marcus with enthusiasm wishing for more than just a simple greeting from this sensible and handsome man. "Would you girls mind accompanying us? It would be a great time to have some friends in town. You girls are fantastic. Accepting us will be more a pleasure for us than for you. What do you say?" "Absolutely. We will be waiting for you at the end of the street down the church. Our house is at the end of the depth of the community. Do not be late." Gabrielle armed Dory and their back do the talking for them. Except it was impossible for them not look back at the guys. Marcus and Master turned their car around and went on direction of the town castle, while the girls went down to the street close the church. A right turn and they walked to their house door. Dory picked up the mail and Gabrielle disappeared behind her door. Dory glimpsed behind her feeling the eyes of someone watching her, but the sensation faded as soon as she turned. She did not give that much importance and got into her house without much effort. Act III   Dory and Jessica gasped together and released each other from their minds. "I had no idea I could do that. Master can do it but this is my first time. How are your head? Is it everything alright?" Dory looked at Jessica shaking her head and yawned so her ears can regain her ability to hear. Jessica surprised to see her aunty had ability even she did not know about. However, they shared more than just memories. She felt every emotion Dory expressed that day toward Marcus and Gabrielle and Master. "I am fine. I think yours is more than just memories. I could feel the intensity of your friendship with Gabrielle and the curiosity you hide from Marcus. Tell me what happened next." Jessica got interested to the story and how Dory can feel in a single moment all that appreciation toward a stranger. "If you believe Marcus and Master used anything on us. You are mistaken OK. They were sincere with us from the beginning. That night when they changed us." Dory smiled and grabbed Jessica hand once more to see if she could relive the moment she transformed into something different from what the world considered normal. Marcus and Master arrived at the front house of the girls to notice the door of one of them remained open. Master face altered suddenly smelling the one substance that could attract his attention. Marcus felt the aura and he shimmered a little, because he was the first time he felt such power in a blood thirst. He could read the years of experience Master had accumulated during his first millennium. He was not an ancient for nothing. He had also the weight. "The girls…" Master just told him and they ended up in the house. At their sight, the girls were laid down in oblique at the floor in opposite direction from each other, fighting not to die even though he was inevitable. Blood everywhere, broken glasses, and aftermath of the fight with the thief, the guys could avoid it, their eyes changed red at their turn. Master's red turned black at some point confirming Marcus suspicion. Master represented the evolution of their race. No immortals had such eyes as far as he is been alive and his research had never mentioned such phenomena. "We do not want to die. Please." Marcus swallowed his saliva hard thinking of the fantastic light he would kill if he saved Dory. He was so looking forward to fall in love with her. Becoming immortal did not guarantee she would stay the same, but she might be alive to keep them company. Turning them was unpredictable and the result might not be in their favor. Why would they turn them? Dory and Gabrielle belonged to the human specie and like any normal human one day you had to die. Well, those two reached their time without default. What make them different? Marcus and Master could not answer that question, but one matter stood out. The girls were not dead yet. "We can save you but your life will not be the same after that. It is your choice. The only condition is to come stay with us in the castle. What do you say?" Master laid it out for them and they were desperate. Time was running out, so both agreed to Master condition. "So, Master and Marcus mad you two immortals. Without any skills or any ideas if you will stay with them in the castle. You become immortals simply because you did not want to die." Jessica could not understand a reason so light counted worthy to gift someone with immortality. "The reason can be different on each case. For example, you were already dead. Your mother wanted you to live and to know the world. The reason I protested rested in the fact I lost my way many times before you see me now. I have been a killer, a thief, a monster, and a blood thirsty immortal. The last one is the worst to come back from. My life got meaning again when Marcus saved you." Dory confessed her unforgivable sins to Jessica. She sat on the floor like when she was little and Dory came to pick her up as she fell asleep. Jessica could not believe there was more to being immortal than simply living forever. "I wanna see mother." Jessica held Dory with both hands and demanded to see her own mother. She became anxious and impatient. Her blood rushed so fast to see her that her eyes turned red. Dory concluded the effect of the truth to Jessica. She unleashed the emotion she had held for a hundred years and now all these information in one day pushed her to her limit. Dory sighed again and fast forward to the moment her sister was in labor ready to give birth to Jessica. For some days now, Dory closed herself in the office in the third floor. She needed better way to take care of her sister. She was in middle of a break through when she heard her voice screaming in pain. Marcus appeared at the door and she knew something was wrong. They rushed to the house and Danny was ready to deliver her baby. "Dory, thank God. Your sister only asks for you. I suggested her we went to a hospital. She insisted you came to help her." Danny husband calmly informed Dory and let her in there. "Do not worry Georges. She is going to be fine. Marcus stay with him. I will take care of my sister. Everything is fine. I am here." Dory had been in love with Marcus and him with her for at least 300 years, but the way Georges loved her sister She had never seen it during all these times. She saw it and Georges confessed it to her. Georges had been living for his wife. This was another reason Dory became convinced the world possessed lots of worthy things than blood sucking murderers. Georges and Marcus remained outside and Dory with her sister was inside doing God knows what. Dory tied her hand to the bed, opened her legs and demanded the push necessary for the baby to slide out of her. After five minutes of push, scream, swear, and encouragement, Danny have birth to a beautiful girl. Dory took her in her arm tapping on the baby for a scream. Dory got so caught up in helping Danny that she had to shut off her senses. "Danny, she is not screaming. I do not know what to do. Sister, what is happening? My niece is…wait." Dory just remembered what she was so she turned her senses on. "Sister, my niece is dead. Probably before she came out." Act IV   Jessica stood in the middle of The room in the memories watching her mother's face devastated the moment she heard the word came out of Dory mouth. Like every mother she released her burden, let herself go and laid down facing at the right side. Danny came into town to meet her family. She heard the story of her grandma and wanted to see where she came from. When she arrived, the old house was for sale, but she had no way of buying it. She did not have any plan but everything changed when she met Dory that night. Dory deduced her parental link through her blood. Telling Dory the old story, she decided to save her last sister. She bought the house for her and found her a job. In the next year, Danny was celebrating Christmas with Dory her sister, Marcus, and some new friends in town. Danny was a simple girl with a big heart, long black hair from the family, blue eyes from her father, and the flat nose accompanied by a sensible round lip. She was taller than Dory and more attractive. She liked everything in her body, especially her legs. She exposed them to make men happy. Dory once again found joy and peace with her new sister and their bond tied every day. Dory held Jessica in her arms adoring her dead niece and once again she saw the importance of life. How normal human being wanted to life and others to do the same. This feeling remained with her and she convinced herself what she started to do was worth it. "You have to save her. I know you can. Do not lie to me." Dory opened her mouth to contradicts her and Danny called Marcus. "I can't. I can't save her. She is already dead sister." "What is wrong? Georges is outside, anxious and impatient. Should he come in?" Marcus just entered the room and knew what was going on and the reality did not favor for Dory family once again. "No Marcus. Promise me you can save my daughter. I know what you guys are for some times. I did not say anything, because my sister helped instead of eating me. I am grateful, besides that we become family. Now I want your help again sis. To save my only daughter." Danny showed them her true color and was waiting for answer before Georges rushed into the room. "I can't sis. I am sorry." Dory left and run to the castle with tears in her eyes. She closed the door of the office and slide down to cry. While crying she heard the rest of the conversation of her sister with Marcus. Marcus agreed to make a miracle happened. Marcus took Jessica in her arms and came back to the castle to access his laboratory. Dory went down before the laboratory door of Marcus, she remained there until he came out after ten days. The moment Marcus stepped outside, she got him by the throat to get any kind of news. "Tell me how is she? Did you do anything? Did anything work?" Dory was so weak she could not stay up too long but she had survived worst. So this new situation did not compare except if her niece returned with life. "She is going to be fine. I can't let you see her now. I have to go inside in three days to deduce if she will survive." Dory unable to hold herself fell in the floor with her body in corpse form. "Look at you. Please do not tell me you have been out here for ten days straight without sustenance." Marcus lifted her up and put her to bed. Provided her with sustenance for three days and she had her strength back. In the morning, the sun shines through her window and she felt the warmth of life entered her pore. She stayed in that day thinking that it would not be great to see her niece in the death state again. She might crack. Her sister came to mind. How could she refuse her this one request? After she bought her the house and she made a home for herself, there were only the two of them. She had never asked her for more than she needed or less than she wanted. Dory had accumulated a rich sum during her years and a family was just what he wanted to share her fortune with. Dory gave Danny everything and so did Danny. She would not be ready to forgive herself if her niece did not survive this or Marcus failed in his process. "Dory, I have someone who wants to say hi. Can you take it?" Marcus appeared in her room with a young child. Dory could not believe her eyes when she saw he niece height."I think Jessica will be a great name. She is strong and she is more Like you than your sister." Dory froze in her bed and could not move a muscle. Her niece survived and she could not find the right word to express her feeling toward Marcus and her joy for her niece. "Hi, who are you? I do not know this sir. He said I was home.Am I?" "Yes you are honey and I am your aunty Dory. You will behaving with us from now. You will have space to play a lot here. The house is enormous. We will do everything together." Jessica remembered the day she saw her aunt for the first time. Dory remembered it clearly and she reminisced this moment every time she saw her running, hiding, sleeping, reading or crying. She was fulfilled with joy and happiness. She had a new reason to live and to stopped her old bad habit. Jessica gave her time to only think of showing her what was right. "This is how you feel about me and you did not agree to save me in the first place." Jessica got disappointed even with all the emotions she felt from her aunty Dory since her miracle until now. "You think you know who you are. Then tell me if you are ready to do this after what you learned from me." Dory raised her voice. Jessica got shocked and she grabbed her and her eyes flashed the memories of thousands people Dory executed for no reason simply, because she felt like it. She held Jessica for a minute and by the time she released her hands Jessica was trembling of fear and unable to pronounce a word from the atrocity she saw in her aunty memories. "Trust me you do not know what you are capable of. You should thank me for it. Because you would be worst." Act V   Dory stood once more at the head of the castle and breathed a full if fresh air and admired the sunrise, the trees, the wind, and the animals in the forest below the mountains. Her theory of greatness than his specie therapy worked once again and she smiled. While she was going down, she felt Jessica leaving Marcus room and went down to leave the castle. Maybe he was time she found her own way after she learned the truth. She was going to decided whether she wanted to be like her aunty or being a different immortal. That was The reason Dory bothered to educate her and to shadow her away from the reality of immortality. She had lived it many times over and wanted to alter the future with better personalized immortal. She got to her office and sat to work in her contribution to the town once more. Becoming immortal was easy, gaining immortal ability did not take time, but living of an immortal required purpose and reason to live. If not, you would always lose your way. Her book " Being Immortal" was published in town and every person who read that book, bought it simply to remind themselves they were immortal and they needed a purpose. Some people in town left to live their immortality in the best reason they could find in their life. The town knew evolution as well thanks to this book. She accomplished more after the book for the town and everyone recognized the "Lady of the castle." Jessica went to say goodbye to her dear friend in the cemetery and some friends came along. Jessica reminded them how great their time together had been. After this, a moment of silence occurred and Jessica thoughts went to her aunty memories. She had some answers now and she wanted proof. Would any of her friend be close to her if they knew what she was capable of? If they knew the atrocity she could cause in an instant. The sadness she knew would not be enough compare to the one she might if she lost all her friends simply for being who she was. She became terrified to the idea and excused them to run back to the castle. "Why me? Why can't you leave me dead? Why did you make me like this?" She opened the office door with absurd questions Dory was waiting for some times. "Your mother wanted you to live and I wanted to avoid you the agony of being immortal. I gave you a home, family, friends, and purpose. As long as you have these, your immortality will be a walk in the park. If not, you may as well cut your head off." Dory told her straight truth and she could not encounter the Lady who raised her for one hundred year and who was still doing her education in this day. "Do you know I can still remember their deaths and their screams? The worst is that I still remember the first time I kill. It was no other than my best friend." Dory tend her hand toward her and she gently held this hand that helped her on her bicycle, to write, and to eat. Dory felt her hesitation and her pain but this was the least of her worry. Until now she had not lost her yet to the dark side of being immortal. A year accomplished since Dory and Gabrielle became immortal and received orientation through their alteration. Master came to them in an afternoon and announced to them that they had to pass his test. "What test Master?" Gabrielle kept her interest toward Master while Marcus tried his best to let Dory got used to being immortal before addressing the subject. Gabrielle always rested on impressing Master while Dory had a reason to get better and social, her family. She spent a year away from them with the worries they presumed she met her demise as well as Gabrielle. The blood on the floor of their house kind of gave it away. "Tonight you will go to the parade alone and you will feed and you will not kill not even a ant." The words got straight in Dory's mind, but For Gabrielle they fell in deaf ears. As promised, Marcus provided them nice and new clothes. Dory wore a nice white skirt covered with a jacket accompanied a tight blue pant and a leather boot. Gabrielle put a two strings pink skirt with her new big ball in her chest with a short pants enough only to hide her buttocks and a nice pair of boot heels above her knees. "You are not coming Marcus. I need your help you know. I am not Gabrielle." Dory felt her sensibility to succumb at her desire. "You are going to be fine. Just think of your family and when you return, we will think of another anchor for you." Marcus assured her with a kiss in her forehead and she followed Gabrielle at the door. The parade did not change much while the new immortal learned of their new ability and their curse. Music, dancers, exhibitionists, circus, and animals. The parade upgraded a little by putting big pictures of the many heroes the town produced in the 19th century. Gabrielle disappeared as soon as she got to the parade, but Dory got suffocated with hundred of people in town in the parade. She felt being strangled in a bath of blood. Unable to resist her impulsion, she flew on the rooftop of the house in the street where the parade strolled. She followed better and she caught her breathe. The sensation became easier as she remained close to them and ignored the silence. She kept herself busy trying to see the whole parade and to see her family. As soon as she concluded they were not in the parade, she crossed the street in the rooftop to get home. From a rooftop close the church, she looked inside her house to hear her mother cried, her brother sighed in pain, and her sister grieving by looking at old pictures. She moved to fly down and went home when she heard someone running out of breathe. She tried to ignore it but she recognized Gabrielle voice in the background. "Monster," Dory perceived the situation and rushed to stop Gabrielle in her craziness. "Gabrielle, what are you doing? Master told us not to kill anyone. You do remember, right?" Dory did not see any opening to avoid a disaster. Gabrielle would devour the guy and broke Master rule. One person would lose his life simply a monster wanted to eat. If there was nothing Dory knew how to do well was to obey the rules. One reason her father had such great relationship with her in the first place. "I do not want to die. I do not want to die." the guy screamed twice in a row with his heart from where he had no clue. "Shut…up…" Dory pointed her finger to him and hypnotized him to be silent in the moment. "Wow. This is a new move. You have to teach it to me after we enjoy this little meal together. You have not eaten right. That what I thought." Dory swallowed hard and kept her eye on Gabrielle movement around the guy neck. "You can jump in when you are ready." Dory moved, Gabrielle pulled out her fangs, and the guy screamed one more. The door opened and Marcus and Master saw Dory appeared behind it. Master was not surprise but Marcus hoped to see both girls came back. "I am moving out. My family needs me. I must go join them before one of them die. I am sorry I can't stay like I promise but I will be close if you need me." Dory did not have much take to return home. She appreciated the time Marcus dedicated to her orientation but it was time to go home. "Where is Gabrielle?" Master wondered as Dory walked out the castle. "She may be taken a bath in the river. We got separated before we can get to the parade. She surely counted to lose her head." Marcus understood easily when Master ignored her answer and climbed the stairs. The eyes of Dory changed that night and from there she was already in her way to become a reaper. Act VI   "Why did you not feed me the way you were taught? I do not think this will make much difference. You know I make up my own mind about everything. Why did you not trust me?" Jessica asked her last questions with strength and authority. She was not a little girl anymore. She had become a woman and the time arrived for her to fly in her own. She did not decide it yet but Dory could already see it in her eyes. "Because I did not want you to be a simple immortal who goes around without an origin point. An immortal who could not find her way, Her purpose in life. Most importantly, because you are my niece and my daughter. I raise you, and I will do it until the day you die. You are not me and you are not your mother either. You are an immortal with purpose and who will find more to this life wherever you go. I hope you understand me one day. I only hope you do not become a reaper like me before you do, because you will kill yourself." "I want to see it. Just for a minute. I want to see the people you kill." Jessica held her arms and she eased up the memories through her except she showed her more than she had to see. Jessica physically found herself in a room where Dory sat under a coolant with a single tube in the middle. The room was filthy and smelly. The scent reached to your brain and your eyes could barely support the darkness of the room. Red, streamed down on her and she did not move a muscle. Not that she could not, she did not want to. For her, this was her prison, the place she came to live over and over again every person she had ever killed in her time in Hawaii. The worst scenario consisted of a little girl she torn from her mother one night. She had her in a blanket watching her and repeating the same word: "You kill me, you kill me, you kill me." Jessica bared the torture of her aunty and she finally figured why she raised so different the other immortal. She was only making up for her sin. By altering the concept of immortality from birth, she would succeed in raising immortal to live among human without knowing what aftermath they could avoid when they knew what sort of atrocity they could inflict in the world. Jessica let go and kissed her accompanied by a hug. Dory smiled and knew she had reached her. "My work here is done. I hope you will be successful in your new life." Jessica did not bother to wonder how she knew after all she was her mother. Jessica glimpsed to her one last time and run the office again. She stepped out and Dory returned to her daily business on the desk. Actually, she had found a new girl to take under her wing. She would be promising before she can reach her potential. The next day, Jessica stood at the front of the door to say her last goodbye to everyone. "You have your name in my account. You can dispose of the money how you want except do not waste it. Got it." Jessica shook her head to prove her she would not. She hugged Marcus and sent her goodbye from there to Master ears in his studies. Master smiled hearing her voice. "Hope you find your way little one." "You let her go. Are you sure she is going to be OK?" Marcus closed his eyes to turn away when Jessica left in the car with two of her friends. Dory smiled once more Like the first when she held Jessica in her arms. "Are you going to be alright? Is she…" "She is never coming back. I am sure of it. Besides I have more important thing to do in this town. We have a new girl coming in Monday. She has potential and I want to help her. I still have sins to make up for." Dory returned to her office. She had no plan in changing it just because Jessica did not live in the castle anymore. Right now, she was not just another immortal. She had the potential to change anyone's life. She needed more to live worthy of immortality and she had it thanks to her aunty Dory. Publication Date: August 13th 2016 https://www.bookrix.com/-geac36acf8c0835

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-skylar997-bloodwolf-book-5/

Skylar997 Bloodwolf Book 5 Paws off! Broady Enjoy All of us were falling for Broady, and he did the same for ALL of us. Broady got us some buckskin from a nearby village and gave it to us. All of us were forced to "camp out" in the apparently big cage. All of us seemed to be having a good night sleep, but me. I was stuck thinking about Duke. I hated him so much. I slowly crept out of the cage with a growl. I crept over to there cage all the way across the war zone. It was not easy because im white furred, and some wolves were cleaning up the blood. Luckily there was some snow on the wooden walls. I walked so close to them I could almost feel there breath. Good thing that they're kind of dumb or I would have been eaten by the other team. I crept into the cage. Everyone was sound asleep. I felt someone come into the room. I looked behind me. It was Broady. He smiled and showed his really white teeth. I mean who can't resist that. His breath smelled like fresh elk. He whispered,"Why are you in here?" I looked behind me to make sure this wasn't a set up and replied,"Uhh, listen I kind of had bad blood with Duke, he betrayed me. Im here to get back at him a little." He smiled as he said,"okay i will be on my way." He crept out of the room not blending with the snow with his black fur. I nearly passed out because he winked at me! What, I can't be in love, not now! I put on some buckskin. It looked almost as if I was a wildabeast. I took a horn from a basket in their room. I stuck it in the middle of his paw, heard him squeal and I ran out unnoticed. I crept into the cage when I saw Broady flirting with Sparky and Zi. I raised my eyebrow as I heard them laugh at his jokes. He was flattering them,"You know Sparky, I think you were named after your eyes. And Zi, have you ever noticed that your fur shines in the moonlight." I was outraged I flew into the room and took off the buckskin. I shook my fur trying to look noticeable. I saw his eyes widen, Zi and Sparky became jealous and ran their tails down his chin. I then lifted my fur as my eyes shined. His jaw nearly dropped as Zi looked at me with anger. I waved my tail and battered my eyelashes as he nearly passed out. I beautifully sat down and I started flirting.Zi showed off her eyes by putting them in the moonlight. Broady's eyes turned to her as she tickled his chin with her tail. Sparky caught his eyes by battering her eyes and waving her tail. I smiled and said with a wink at Broady,"How about we get some sleep for tomorrow, we want to have energy don't we?" He smiled and winked back as if he was saying yes. I waved my tail as I stretched. I then lay down on the buckskin. As I saw Sparky and Zi, do that as well. Broady smiled as he fell asleep in the corner of the room. In the morning I awoke to a roar,"WAKE UP YOU LOUSY PEASANTS!" I nearly pounced on him after he said peasants. The cage doors opened as I saw the other team got a head start. I saw Duke and Rodessa charged at me as I ducked and saw him fly above my head. I got a hold of his leg and threw him into Rodessa. I then charged at Greeneyes, seeing him pounce on Sparky. I held him down While Sparky dug into his fur with her fangs. Duke came up and ran her over when I pounced on him while digging my teeth into his neck. I dug so deep it took five wolves to pry me off. He was taken to the healing bed for over half of the war. I clinched my paws as Scarlet charged at me. As she charged I saw she had grown. I bit into her neck as she dug her claws into my back. She was still weak from yesterday so I bit the same spot. She squealed and I then let go and charged at Rodessa. I saw Zi and Sparky nearly killing Greeneyes as I then saw my pack being released. I saw Zack pry Zi off and pouncing on her. I threw Rodessa into the wall and charged at Zack. I then saw Zada come by me and say,"Don't worry this will only hurt, A LOT!" She came at me as Zack pinned me down. I kicked her off with a loud squeal. I hit her stomach as she flew into a wall before passing out. Cody on the other hand went off at Sparky with as much energy as a sugar high squirrel. I then saw her flip him on his back. She dug into his fur. When I was busy watching I saw Broady come out of our cages. He charged at Duke as he came out of the healing room. It was nearly morning when we were forced to take a break. We were all comforted by Broady as I noticed jealousy in Duke's eyes. It was the second day of war, and now other animals were allowed. We asked if we could bring in some animals too, they never said yes. We were forced to use only ourselves while the other team brought in grizzlies. Well, we have been saving our bloodwolf abilities so we had the upper hand, or so I thought. In the middle of the night the other team released a pack of wild grizzlies into our cage, good thing Zi is good with bears. Not like, good at calming them, good at eating. She tackles that bear like a lion chasing a mouse. We ate good that night, but not so much the other team. They slept all night, who does that these days!? (CRAZY people) In the morning the other team of course got a head start. We were kind of weak though. When I got out of the cage, I was outraged. The other team tripled in number, what I thought was just 14 was now 42. Kidnapped They took us with all we had. We turned into our bloodwolves, which didn't really help. We were fighting till night. I was disappointed as they won the third round. The only thing that gave me hope was that Zack was flirting with Rodessa. They were licking each other in the cell. Duke nearly tore him up, but Zada broke it up. Rodessa said he was forcing himself upon her. What a liar, I just hoped that it was Duke getting torn up. The next day, the war was canceled so the drama continued. She convinced Duke that he was a stalker. The next day Duke forgot about it and purposed to Rodessa. Oh man! I was, AND I AM OUTRAGED!! I just new something was going to go wrong, I hope. Their engagement was set in two months. I saw Zack and Rodessa still go out. Man when that happened I FLIPPED! I needed to get Duke to notice me, with Broady. I don't like him. I just need him to get away from Rodessa. Zi and Spark didn't really like the idea. So, I told them it was only for a little, I can't fall in love anyways. Not after DUUUKE! Man I HATE HIM! I went up to Broady, took a deep breath and leaned in. I felt his passion, almost like he felt the same way. I then smiled and said,"Come, lets show you off to the other team". He winked as if he was saying okay. We went to the rose field and of course Duke was there. I sat in the corner looking noticeable as Broady brought me a rose. How sweet, Duke looked as he leaned into me. I opened my eyes and saw the anger in his. He nearly charged over to me as he looked at his paw. He saw Rodessa's paw print on his paw and so he backed off. Wait for it, Broady and I then hugged. Duke spit on his paw and wiped it off as he charged at Broady while showing his teeth. I got up quick to defend him,"Stop it! Whats with you! YOU ALREADY RUINED MY LIFE! IM NOT LETTING YOU DO IT AGAIN!". I turned to the cages and ran off crying. It was very emotional for me. Duke put his teeth back in. He backed off looking back at his cage. He saw Zack and Rodessa licking again. and this time HE was back towards the wall. She's in trouble now! He got up and ran towards her while pushing her off. He pinned her with a loud growl,"I KNEW IT YOU CHEATER! YOUR NOTHING BUT A WORTHLESS PIECE OF HARE! I NEVER WANNA SEE YOU AGAIN CHEATER! AND WE ARE OVER! AND IM NOT JUST SAYING THIS I MEAN IT! I HATE YOU!". He bit her cheeks and dug into her stomach with his teeth. He dug his claws into her paw and threw her out of the cage,"WERE DONE RO! GET OUT! AND I BETTER NOT SEE YOU EVER COME BACK! YOUR THE MOST PATHETIC WOLF I'VE EVER SEEN! YOU DESERVE NOTHING BUT LIFE IN CAGE!!!!!!!!" He was never so outraged he bit her neck and threw her into the gate. Zada and Scar threw her into cage. I felt good because she had suffered, but it wasn't her who I wanted to serve time. I went back to Broady as I saw Duke storm off into MY CAGE! I ran vampire speed and saw that he had beaten Zi and Sparky almost till death. I was so outraged I rushed to their sides. I wanted revenge. I got up and threw Duke across the whole rose field into a wall. I bit into his stomach. I ripped fur from his back. I turned bloodwolf and bit into his neck and nearly drank ALL his blood. I knew if I did that, he would turn bloodwolf. I let go as i saw his eyes grow pale. I saw his team stare at me in shock. He was revived, but Greeneyes wasn't happy. He went in the middle of the night and cut my neck. He didn't get far enough though, I stopped him. It was too late though, I was out of breath and I blacked out. When I woke up my vision was blurry. My vision cleared as I saw I was in a buckskin bag. I felt I was not on the floor, I was at least 10 feet up. I was dropped onto the floor, with at least 20 injuries. The bag opened as I found myself in a dark shaded cage. Someone came up behind me, and before I could react I was hit, and I passed out again. I heard screams, familiar screams. I opened my eyes to be tied to a rock. I looked to my side to see Sparky and Zi tied up, but they were out. I looked forward to see Duke and Greeneyes suffocating Broady. I screamed,"STOP IT STOP IT!! TAKE ME INSTEAD! THERE'S NO REASON FOR THEM TO BE HERE!". Duke turned towards me and I felt his guilt as Broady fell to the ground. I didn't know if he was dead or alive. Zada went over to Zi and smacked her with a piece of glass. Her face started to bleed as I saw Them turn bloodwolves. When they tried escaping the rope, I noticed, got tighter. They turned back to normal as Sparky was clawed, head to neck. Her face started to bleed. I saw every drip of the blood fall to the ground and I turned forward, I couldn't watch. I noticed Greeneyes came up with a gigantic piece of glass. He smacked me across my face and clawed me. Duke ran over and whispered to Greeneyes,"We ne- need her alive, don't we?". He looked at Duke and growled,"NO! SHE'S JUST A WORTHLESS WOLF! IF ANYTHING SHE SHOULD DIE FIRST!". I was going to scream, but I saw that I couldn't open my mouth I squealed as I felt every drop of blood fall off my face. When it dropped on the floor it's almost like I felt a break in my heart. I licked my mouth enough to open it and I head bumped Greeneyes. I felt like I had a chance, but that was the opposite of what I had in mind. Greeneyes got up and his claws grew. He dug his claws into my stomach and ran them down to my waste. My vision got blurry as the rope started to absorb the blood. I blinked and got my vision back. Rodessa was released from the cage, Duke still was her bw (boy wolf) and the engagement was back on. I blacked out thinking my last thought would be about them TOGETHER. Dead Roses I was thrown into a cell and finally revived. I saw Spark, and Zi. I went up to hug them only to find my strength gone. I fell to the ground hitting my head on bare, splintering wood. I then saw as Sparky and Zi were gone. I felt a pain in my back. My eyes closed as my last sight was Sparky and Zi on the floor, bleeding.. to death. Then that sight led to me taking... my last breath. (or so i thought) TO BE CONTINUED! This by far is my FAVE book i've made. ANYWAYS! thx 4 the faves and thx 4 reading BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Publication Date: August 14th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-skylar997

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-destiny-no-looking-back/

Destiny No looking back This is the story of my life...with Mike and with the pain that he has caused me. I never would of known any better so I am going to tell you what you should know. It started like any other day.Except it was the start of my senior year and I was going to graduate. I texted my friend Beth to meet me at my house so we could go together. As I started toward my first class I recognized a face that I had never seen before. Once in the class I took my seat and stared at the board. He walked in..,I had never seen him before. He took his seat next to me and that was when it all began.... He looked at me in the way a man and woman would look at each other when they were in love. "Hey, I'm Mike." he said "I transfered here from north Carolina". "Hey i'm Candy" "Cute" he said and looked back at the board. As the week went on we started to talk a lot more and got to know each other really well. As it turned out he had all of the same classes as me. One day he invited me to hang out with him and his friends after school and I said sure. After school ended we went to the woods and he pulled something out of his pocket. Then he and his friends started to smoke it. "Hey you want some?" he asked me as he handed it to me,"umm.." I had to think about it because we learned about meth in school and it was bad for you. "Relax it won't hurt you...try it" He urged and so I did. I started choking on the smoke and he laughed and said I wasn't supposed to swallow it. We smoked some more and then he took me home. We started making out right before we got to my house and things got a little serious. "Stop..." I said as he started to unbutton his pants. "You should take me home it's way past my curfew" "sure" he said and he was cool with the fact that I didn't go all the way with him. As the months went on we got more serious and we had been dating for about 3 months. We had been doing meth for about 3 months as well. I couldn't stop using even if I tried. "Hey Candy" he asked me one day after school. We were hanging out as his house when he asked me THE question. "yes?" I said and he asked if we could have sex. I agreed because we had been together for so long. It hurt and I cried. When he was driving me home we smoked some more and then I went in the house feeling stupid for agreeing. We didn't talk for about 3 days and I found out that he had been cheating on me with some other girl. Also to top it all off I was addicted to him and meth. about a week later I felt really sick so I stayed home. I soon found out that I wasn't sick I was PREGNENT and he was the daddy. I want to scream and cry. I don't want to be pregnant, I want to be normal and have a life. I can't do that now I am having a baby. I told my mom and she started to cry, she said that she was dissappointed in me. She thought that I should get abortion cause I wasn't mature enough to have a child, but I couldn't do that to the child. I have to tell Mike but i'm afraid of what he will say, so i'm going to put off telling him until I have to. What I need to do is go to the doctor and find out if i'm really pregnant or not. I have my mom drive me cause I don't want to, i'm scared. As we enter the doctors office they tell me to pee in a cup. I do then go back to the room and await my fate. When the doctor comes back he tells me that i'm pregnant and to start prepping for the baby. I don't want to have a baby I want to have a life but that obvisily isn't going to happen. I had the urge to smoke some of the meth that Mike left for me the day that we had sex. So when we got home I went to my room, cracked a window, and lit it up. It felt amazing and the high was one of the best things that could ever happen to me at the moment. Then there was a knock at my door and it was Mike. "Hi" I said "Hey" he said "How are you feeling?" he asked me, and right then and there I wanted to tell him that I was pregnant but I didn't. He came over because he wanted sex and all I wanted was to be left alone to suffer. We ended up having sex and I wanted so badly to tell him that I was pregnant I thought that he would leave me if I told him so I think I will put it off until I have to tell him, or he figures it out. Once Mike was gone I cried and I fell asleep. I don't want to do this! I have to tell him and I hope that he will take it the right way and not freak out. Publication Date: May 17th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-destiny316

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-sapphire-hughes-wrong-side-of-the-street/

Sapphire Hughes Wrong Side of the Street A Radio/Stage Play Wrong Side of The Street Characters Daniel Crawley- A gay Sixth-Form student, boyfriend of Tristan and best friend of Amethyst. Bullied because of his sexuality. ‘Amethyst’ Felicity Anderson- A Goth student and best friend of Daniel. Bullied and suffers because of it. Tyler Hughes- Leader of a gang. Torments Daniel and Amethyst but suffers the consequences of his actions. Roxanne Bailey- Tyler’s girlfriend. Bullies Amethyst to look cool in front of Tyler. Ralph- A ex-police officer and friend of Amethyst’s Mom. ‘Amethyst’s Mom’ Mrs Anderson- Became pregnant after having an affair with a married man, only for him to abandon her with a baby in poverty. Unaware of bullying and thinks her daughter’s withdrawal is due to teenage pregnancy. Tristan- Daniel’s boyfriend and a friend of Amethyst. Offers others helpful advices. Flex Ravens- A newcomer to the estate. Lodges with Amethyst and her Mum only to join Tyler’s gang so he can look cool. Mrs. Greenwich- A teacher at Daniel’s school. Vicar- Preacher at St. Matthew’s Church Intercom- Intercom at Tube Station Scene 1- The Street Daniel: It was the autumn of 2006. Our estate was the place everyone in east London tried to avoid, but you couldn’t blame them. There wasn’t a house that didn’t have a broken window, and there wasn’t a patch of yellowing grass not littered with used syringes. Kids born on the estate had no hope for the future, no dreams to keep them going strong and some even had no family to support them. Unsurprisingly then, that most turned to drugs, or gang crime. So how did I end up in that hell-hole? The reason was I was one of the underprivileged few who didn’t have a choice. The name’s Daniel Crawley by the way. In the year in question, I was seventeen. Having grown tired of her loveless marriage, Mom ran off with her sexy yoga teacher, and we never heard from her again. Heartbroken, Dad sought refuge from his grief in the bottle, drinking himself half-blind. Four months later, he crashed his car in a drunken road accident so the court ruled that he attend rehab or rot in jail for a couple of years. With the family home repossessed, I desperately needed a place to stay whilst I studied for my A Levels. The money I scraped in stacking shelves at Super-Save was barely enough to support myself. Then my boyfriend Tristan, who was at Middlesex University two Tube stops away at the time, gave me an offer I was too poor to refuse; a half-decent flat on the estate. The trouble started when I agreed to walk to school with my new neighbour’s daughter. (Brief music) Daniel: Hurry up or we’ll be late! Amethyst: Just a minute, I’m making some final adjustments. Daniel: I’m pretty sure you look fine, now hurry up. (Amethyst emerges) Amethyst: How do I look? Daniel: Beautiful, now come on. (Sound of footsteps walking) Amethyst: I want to thank you, Daniel. You’re the only person who will walk with me to school, especially since we only met when you first moved in last week. Mom thinks it’s safer to travel in pairs what with the rising gang crime around here. Daniel: Oh, it’s no problem Felicity. Amethyst: My name is not Felicity. It’s Amethyst. Daniel: But your Mom calls you Felicity. Amethyst: That’s because Felicity is my birth name. My true spiritual name is Amethyst, after my Sacred Stone. I read about it in Dark Powers magazine. Daniel: Well, I prefer the name Felicity, but if you really want, I’ll call you Amethyst. Amethyst: You’re a hell of a lot nicer than most people; everybody at school hates me. Daniel: Oh, come on. That sounds like a bit of an exaggeration. You seem pretty nice. Amethyst: They all think I’m strange. The way they look at me; it’s like I’m an alien. Daniel: Just because you wear dark make-up, dress in black and believe in vampires doesn’t mean you’re from Mars. If anyone tries to push you around, just tell them to back off. Tyler: (In the distance) Hey guys, look, it’s the crazy witch. Amethyst: Oh no, they spotted me. Daniel: Who? Them hoodies over by the bus stop. Amethyst: Just copy what I’m doing. Keep your head down and carry on walking. Oh no, too late, their coming towards us. Tyler: Hey Freak, I thought I told you to go mess up somewhere else. Amethyst: Tyler, I’m only walking to school. Tyler: (Copying Amethyst’s voice) ‘I’m only walking to school’. (The gang laughs.) Daniel: Dude, back off and leave her alone. Tyler: Ohhhhh, think you’re so tough then, do ya? (To Amethyst) Hey witch, finally got yourself a boyfriend, though I don’t know how anyone could make-out with you without vomiting. Daniel: Actually, I’m gay. Roxy: Oh, so now we’re dealing with a queer. Queers don’t belong here. Tyler: Roxy’s right. This is our territory, and we make it our job to keep queers like you from screwing the place up. Daniel: Your territory? This is a free country; you don’t write the rules, besides this place doesn’t need much more screwing up, since it is a dump just the way it is. Tyler: Think you’re such a wise guy, eh? You’re going to find out who the boss is once I bust your face in. (Tyler punches Daniel. Amethyst screams. Tyler and Daniel start fighting) Amethyst: Get off him! Leave him alone! Roxy: Shut your trap. Tyler’s showing your friend what happens when he messes with us. Amethyst: No! Stop! Please! Somebody help! Ralph: HEY!!! (Gunshot. Moment of silence) Tyler: Officer Ralph, we’re just giving lady-boy here a welcome gift. Ralph: Tyler Hughes, you’d better back off him now or you and your gang are going straight down. Tyler: (Tauntingly) Ralph, you’re not a cop anymore, you retired after some psycho shot you in the leg, remember? Now put that shotgun away before somebody gets hurt. Ralph: This isn’t a game, Tyler, and I’m warning you; leave him alone, or you’ll be spending the night in a cell. Tyler: Okay, because you asked ever so nicely, I’m going to let him off this time. (To Daniel) You hear that lady-boy? This is your lucky day. (To his gang) Come on gang, we can grab a few beers and crash at my place. Ralph: Just remember; I’ll be keeping an eye on you, Tyler Hughes. Tyler: (Voice fading away) See if I care… Roxy: (Voice fading away) Yeah, see if we care… (Tyler, Roxy and the gang exits.) Ralph: Felicity, I mean Amethyst, are you alright? Amethyst: Yes, but Daniel… Daniel: I’m fine, it’s just…my head hurts like hell and feels like it’s bleeding. Ralph: Come on, I’ll take you back to Felicity’s house. Then I’ll call the school and tell them you’re both having a sick day off. (Brief music) Scene 2- Amethyst’s House Amethyst: Hold still whilst I put this ice on your cut. Daniel: How long have those guys been picking on you? Amethyst: (Sighing) Two years. Daniel: Have you told your Mum about it? Amethyst: She’s got enough on her plate; she was made redundant a few weeks ago and the landlord’s threatening to kick us out if she doesn’t pay the rent by the end of the month. I don’t think she could cope with this as well. Daniel: What about your Dad? Amethyst: I never knew my Dad. When Mum was nineteen, she tried to raise the money for college by cleaning for a wealthy couple up in Knightsbridge. Then one day, the husband, who was some kinda flashy businessman, came home early and, while his wife was out, leaned over the kitchen counter Mum was dusting and kissed her. The affair only lasted a week or two, but Mum felt too powerless to resist his charm and actually believed he cared about her. He made up all these crazy stories about running away together, only as soon as she told him she was pregnant, he threw her out and wanted nothing more to do with her. She’s had to look after me on her own ever since. Daniel: Oh my God. I’m really sorry. (Ralph enters) Ralph: Felicity, I’ve called your Mum and she’ll be home in half an hour. Amethyst: You told her! But you promised... Ralph: Calm down, I didn’t mention anything about the bullying. All I said was you and Daniel had a run-in with some young ruffians and one got into a fight with Daniel, so you’re very upset. But you know you’re going to have to tell her someday. It looks like Tyler isn’t going to leave you alone anytime soon. Amethyst: I know...I’m just not ready. Ralph: Daniel, are you okay? You can stay here if you like. Daniel: Thank you for everything, but I’d better go home. I’m cooking dinner for my boyfriend Tristan tonight. (To Amethyst) Hope you’ll be alright Amethyst, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow for the school walk. Amethyst: Okay; goodbye. (Daniel exits. Amethyst’s Mum enters. Sound of door opening and slamming.) Mum: I’m home. Oh Felicity darling, Ralph told me about the incident. Are you hurt? Amethyst: I’m fine. I think I’m gonna go to my room and listen to music. Mum: Oh, wait... (Amethyst runs upstairs. Sound of distant heavy metal music.) Mum: Ralph, haven’t you noticed Felicity’s been acting so strangely recently? Well, stranger than normal? Ralph: She’s a teenager. It’s hormonal. Mum: Hormonal teenagers throw tantrums, make impossible demands, stay up all night with their mates and argue with their parents about the slightest thing. Felicity isn’t like that; she’s withdrawn, isolated, never goes out and shuts herself away in that cramped, untidy room of hers. Sometimes when I walk past the door I think I can even hear her crying. Ralph: If something is bothering her, she will talk to you about it. Mum: That’s the thing; I’m worried she never will. Ralph...I think she’s pregnant. Ralph: Come on Patricia, be reasonable here… Mum: Think about it, when I was pregnant with her, I hid myself away and refused to tell anyone. And to think, I raised my Felicity hoping she wouldn’t make the same mistake I did. I want a better life for her, Ralph, but she’s throwing it all away. Ralph: Look, you’re completely over-reacting. If you and Felicity just talked once in a while, instead of going your separate ways all the time, maybe she would pluck up the courage to tell you what’s getting her down. Mum: If only it was that simple... (Mum exits. Brief music.) Scene 3- Daniel’s Flat (Sound of food frying. Tristan sneaks up on Daniel) Tristan: Hey baby. Daniel: Steady on, Tristan, I nearly dropped the pan. Tristan: Utterly delicious...and the food seems pretty good too. Daniel: Easy tiger. I’m making your favourite; spicy chicken casserole. Tristan: Scrummy, my little Nigela Lawson. Now, will you turn around so I can see your pretty face? (Daniel sighs and turns around.) Tristan: Oh my God, what happened to your face? Where did you get all those ugly bruises? Daniel: I...um...fell over. The pavement gets very slippery. Tristan: That is the most pathetic excuse ever. I would like to remind you that it hasn’t rained in two weeks. Seriously, what happened? Daniel: I was walking with a friend to school and a gang of hoodies beat me up. Tristan: Oh honey, you poor thing. Daniel: Apparently, Amethyst, the girl I walk to school with, has had to bear the same thing on her own for two years. She refuses to alert the authorities, so they must be blackmailing her in some way. Really, I should contact the Police, but Amethyst is terrified of what they will do to her in revenge if I do. Tristan: My advice would be tell someone. As long as you stay silent, you are helping those bullies. Daniel: You have no idea how easy it is to say that phrase, and how difficult it is to carry it out. Tristan: So what? Are you just gonna stand by and watch that poor girl being tortured night and day?! Daniel: Well, what is my other option?! Dive in like Superman and end up bleeding by the roadside next to her?! Tristan: Okay, okay, just cool it. We don’t have to take any drastic measures, but I am simply worried that the longer you keep quiet the more they are going to sense their advantage over you. Bullies can smell fear. Daniel: I’ll talk to Amethyst; she is the one who has had to deal with it for long, so it’s her decision what to do. Tristan: Very well. I’m going to take a shower before dinner. (Sound of feet running upstairs) Daniel: Where would I be without him? (Brief music) Scene 4- Amethyst’s House Mum: Felicity, come down here, there is someone I want you to meet. Amethyst: Coming. (Sound of footsteps running downstairs) Amethyst: Oh, hello. Flex: Hi. It’s great to meet you at last. Mum: Felicity, this is Flex Ravens. He is going to stay with us for a while. Amethyst: Why? Mum: His Mum was a close friend of mine who passed away recently. Before she died I promised her I would take care of him. Flex: Don’t worry; it is only until I get a job and a place of my own. Amethyst: But we don’t have room, it’s cramped enough in here without a third person. Flex: I can always crash on the couch. I don’t want to be of any trouble. Mum: Oh, no worries Flex, we are very happy to have you here. Come on, Felicity dear. He has been having a hard time with his Mum’s death and being forced to leave the family home. Just say you’re okay with it. Amethyst: Fine. Mum: Flex, go upstairs and have a look around; not that there’s much to look at, but get to know the feel of the place. My daughter and I need an important chat. Flex: Oh, okay. It was nice to meet you Felicity. Amethyst: Amethyst. (Sound of feet running up stairs) Mum: Felicity honey… Amethyst: My name is Amethyst. Can’t you get it into your head? Mum: Your name is Felicity so I shall call you that. Before I went for a job interview this morning, I checked in my purse and I found that twenty pounds had mysteriously gone missing. You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you? Amethyst: No. Maybe you lost it. Mum: You do know that money was going towards the monthly rent, so that the landlord doesn’t have us evicted and we end up homeless on the streets. What did you spend it on? Amethyst: I told you, I had nothing to do with your mislaid cash. Why when something happens is the finger always pointed at me? Mum: Funnily, I find your innocence hard to believe. Are you taking drugs? Amethyst: No! No! Of course not! What kind of person do you think I am?! Mum: No daughter of mine is going to steal money behind her mother’s back and get away with it. Be honest with me; are you pregnant? Amethyst: No! Just because you slept with a married man doesn’t make me a whore as well! Mum: Young lady I am…wait, come back here, I haven’t finished speaking to you… (Sound of feet running up stairs. Mum sighs.) (Brief music) Scene 5- The Street (Sound of footsteps walking) Daniel: So what’s he like, this new guy? Amethyst: He’s doesn’t say much, really. Never reveals anything about where he is from, and Mum keeps her trap firmly shut. Mostly he just lies on the couch all day and plays his Nintendo DS. Claims to be searching for work but I haven’t seen him lift a finger since he arrived. Daniel: Strange to think your Mum’s never happened to mention him before, then suddenly he turns up out of the blue and she seemingly knows his entire life history, but is acting like its top secret. Amethyst: Yeah. I have tried asking her about it, though she tells me so little our conversation potential is next to nothing. Tyler: (In the distance) There they are! Amethyst: Oh no, Tyler and Roxy are here again. I thought I had got away today. Tyler: Hey loser, have you got the money? Amethyst: Here you go. (Gives Tyler the money) Twenty pounds is all I found without Mum getting suspicious. Now please, will you leave us alone? Tyler: Twenty pounds. That’s it?! From now on, the payment goes up to fifty pounds. Amethyst: Fifty pounds? My Mum is unemployed and the landlord is threatening eviction. We are hovering above the poverty line as it is. Daniel: Hang on, why on earth are you paying him? What is the money for? Tyler: You little friend pays me so that my gang doesn’t shove burning rags through her door and burn down the house she’s too pitiful to afford. Daniel: Blackmail? You have crossed a line stretched really far, Tyler. I am going to call the police right now and put you where you belong; behind bars. Amethyst: No, Daniel, you will only make things worse. Tyler: The witch is right. In fact, this is what happens if you get the cops on us. (Tyler snatches Amethyst’s phone from her.) Amethyst: Get off! Hey! Please give it back; my Mum worked so hard to buy me that phone. Tyler: (Crushes the phone under his foot.) Well, now her hard work was worth nothing. (Amethyst starts to cry.) Roxy: Look at her cry. Little baby! Tyler: I’m gonna make the piggy squeal louder. (Sound of screaming) Daniel: LEAVE HER ALONE!! (Sound of sirens. Screaming stops.) Tyler: Cops are coming. Quick, we gotta scarper. (Sound of footsteps running away.) Daniel: Amethyst? It’s okay. It’s okay. They’re gone. Here, take my hand. Let’s go back to my place. (Brief music) Scene 6- Roxy’s Flat (Sound of feet running upstairs.) Roxy: (Calling) I’m just going to do my Maths homework, Mum. No need to come upstairs; you just carry on watching Bargain Hunt or whatever it is. (Quietly) That woman is so thick sometimes. Now, time to get Facebook up. Oh look, Amethyst is online, perhaps I’ll write her a little message or two; Tyler would like that. (Sound of window opening and feet jumping.) Roxy: (Startled) Tyler! You scared me. How…how did you get in here? Tyler: Remember that assault course thing I did with school last summer? Well, I tried utilizing my newfound skills by scaling up the drainpipe and jumping through the window; easy as pie. Roxy: Well, keep your voice down, or Mum will throw a fit if she discovers you in here. Tyler: Let her; I ain’t afraid of no old hag. What are you doing, Roxy baby? Roxy: Writing messages on Amethyst’s Facebook page. Tyler: Let me see. The little Freak deserves every word of it. (Sound of kissing) After you have finished that, we can snuggle down and have some fun like we planned. Roxy: Tyler honey, about that. Despite your enthusiasm, I’m not sure I’m ready to lose my virginity yet. Tyler: Why not? Roxy: I don’t know; it just doesn’t feel right. Tyler: If you refuse, I will tell everyone at school that you’re frigid, including all your snotty ex-boyfriends. Roxy: Why would you do that to the girl you love? Tyler: Because I always get what I want. Hey, don’t be down, we got each other, baby, and that is all that matters. No one else; just us. Roxy: I guess you’re right, as usual. I mean, why should I care about such a stupid little thing as my virginity when I got such a fit boyfriend to lose it with? Tyler: Now you’re talking my language. Now close that laptop and come join me on the bed. Roxy: Okay, honey (Quietly) What choice do I have? (Brief music) Scene 7- The Tube Station (Sound of intercom system) Intercom: This station reminds passengers to keep all personal belongings with them at all times. Flex: No...hang on…no, I’m sure there isn’t a link to the Northern Line at this station. Oh, why didn’t I ask Mrs. Anderson for a map? Um, excuse me; do you know which a tube I need to get to Piccadilly Circus? Tyler: Hey dude, I haven’t seen you around here before. Flex: I’m Flex, and yes, I am new to this area of London. I used to live in Knightsbridge. Tyler: Ah, so you’re some kind of rich kid. Flex: Not anymore; my parents got divorced when I was three and after that my Pa disappeared. Then my Ma died a month ago and I had no income to keep up the payments on the house. Tyler: Shame, mate; my Ma’s probably dead already, but I’ll never know. Dad claims the slag never told him she got knocked up and he only found out when she dumped me on his doorstep before moving on to the next guy. I don’t believe him; my Dad’s lied to me my whole stinking life. He swore he’d never get in another relationship and now suddenly he’s on the train to Manchester for a new life with his lap-dancing girlfriend. But I don’t have to be brushed aside anymore, because I got my own gang, and people are so afraid of us they don’t dare to stand in our way. Flex: Well, I don’t know about that sort of thing, I’m trying to get a job somewhere. I live with Patricia Anderson and her daughter Amethyst; any chance you’ve heard of them? Tyler: Wait, you live with them? Mate, you could do way better than them. Flex: You think so? Tyler: Yeah, with a cool name like Flex, you could be a rally car racer, or a stuntman. Tell you what; if you punch that queer who follows her around like a puppy, I might let you join my gang. We are the Kings of this estate, answer to no one, earn respect simply by looking people in the eye and do whatever we want without any trouble. Flex: I-I-I really don’t think so; Felicity and her Mum are so kind to me… Tyler: (Suddenly angry) Listen good and clear. This estate is a two-way street. A long as you stand by them, you’re on the wrong side. (Sound of footsteps walking away. Brief music) Scene 8- Daniel’s Flat (Sound of typing) Daniel: And recent statistics have shown that… (Sound of door opening and closing) Tristan: Hey Daniel. What are you doing? Daniel: I am writing a book on ‘The Reality of Homophobia and Other Bullying’. I decided that with all the bullying that has happened in the past months I might as well put my experiences to good use. Tristan: Smart idea; the pen is mightier than the sword. Daniel: Always full of wisdom, Tristan. I thought about getting some input from Amethyst too. She gave me some illustrations. They’re great quality. Have a look, she should be an artist. Tristan: (Looking at pictures) Let me see…urgh. I have to say, they are not very…appealing. I mean, this one has a guy hanging from a tree. Daniel: Bullying isn’t appealing, Tristan. Tristan: Still…the disturbing nature of it; gives me the creeps. Daniel: Spiders, rats, storm clouds; everything gives you the creeps. Now get changed into something more formal, because Mrs. Anderson has invited us to dinner… (They exit. Brief music.) Scene 9- Amethyst’s House Daniel: This food is great, Mrs. Anderson. Much better than my own. Mum: Glad you like it. Normally, the oven packs in or I burn everything to ashes. (To Tristan) More green beans Tristan? Tristan: Oh, yes thanks. (Sound of plates clinking) Ralph: Honestly, that is the first time I have heard a youngster want more vegetables. Mum: Always the joker Ralph. So, Daniel, Tristan, how long have you two been romantically involved? Tristan: Oh, we met in Brighton last summer. You know; holiday romance like in Grease. Anyway, I wrangled my way into Middlesex University and offered to share a flat with Daniel, so here we are. Daniel: (Singing) “Summer loving, happened so fast…” (Everyone laughs) Mum: How nice. I would like to thank you both for being so kind to my Felicity. Amethyst: Amethyst. Daniel: No problem. She’s a sweet girl. (Sound of window smashing) Amethyst: Aaaahhhhh!! Daniel: What the hell was that?! Could a’ killed someone! Tristan: It’s a rock. Pretty big one at that. Look, there is a note attached to it. (Reading) “You’re on the wrong side of the street.” Um…what does that mean? Who goes smashing windows just to leave freaky cryptic messages like that? Amethyst: Someone’s trying to kill us!! Mum: Calm down darling. I bet it’s just some passing youths who are feeling bored and looking for a little excitement. They don’t mean any real harm; all mouth and no bite as they say. Help me sweep up this broken glass before anyone steps on a piece. Amethyst: IS THAT IT?! Is that all you can say?! Mum: Now calm down, young lady. There is no need for shouting. Amethyst: Oh yeah, because it seems I have to shout at the top of my lungs just to get you to listen to me! You think everything will be fine if it’s merely swept under the rug! When did you last ask me how I felt?! You don’t care as long as nothing makes you look bad! (Sound of crying and feet running up stairs) Mum: Darling, wait… Flex: (Quietly) The wrong side of the street. (Brief music.) Scene 10- The Supermarket Roxy: Are you sure this Flex kid will come? Tyler: Roxy baby, after that rock stunt we pulled, he knows not to double-cross us. I’ve met guys like him before. Inside, they’re weak, insecure and lack confidence; they’ll do anything to look cool and be a part of something. Here comes Flex now. (Flex enters) Hey, buddy, you didn’t chicken out after all. Flex: No, but I am only doing this once. To prove I deserve to be in the gang, then you must agree to let them be. Tyler: Agreed, unless I change my mind. (Daniel and Amethyst enter) Roxy: Amethyst and Daniel are leaving the Swift Store. Tyler: Go on, Flex; your time to shine. If you drop out last minute, we promise to make you suffer like them. (Flex groans. Sound of walking.) Daniel: (Talking to Amethyst) Really, that colour looks good on you…hey Flex, Amethyst wants your opinion on her new black highlights. Flex: I am so sorry. Forgive me. (Flex punches Daniel. Amethyst screams. Daniel falls to floor. Brief music.) Scene 11- Amethyst’s House Mum: AND STAY OUT!!!! (Sound of stuff being thrown to the floor) Flex: Please Mrs. Anderson… Mum: Oh, don’t you ‘Mrs. Anderson’ me, pretending to be all sweet and innocent. Felicity told me what happed between you and her friend. Do you know where she is at this moment? Crying her eyes out into his arms! Daniel had to have six stitches. I trusted you. I let you into my home. I gave you food, picked up your dirty washing, went shopping for you, never asked you to do chores because you were still grieving and never once did I ever pester you about finding a job and standing on your own two feet! And how do repay me? WITH VIOLENCE!! (Sound of more stuff being thrown.) Flex: Careful with that. There’s a Nintendo DS in there. Mum: Take your DS! Take your filthy washing! Take everything you own! Just leave and STAY OUT!! Flex: But Mrs. Anderson. When my Mum was dying, you promised her you would take care of me. If you toss me out, you are breaking your promise to her. Mum: I promised to take care of Flex Ravens. He was kind, polite and grateful boy. I look at you and I don’t see Flex Ravens. While you act like this, I do not care where you go or what you do, just keep away from here. (Sound of door slamming. Brief music.) Scene 12- Roxy’s Flat (Sound of door opening and slamming) Roxy: Tyler, I’ve been texting you for ages. Where have you been?! What’s wrong? Tyler: I was catching the tube back here, when I saw Flex sleeping in the station like a hobo. He said the Andersons had kicked him out. Roxy: Those Freaks ought to…hold on, what can I smell on your breath? Alcohol? You’ve been drinking? Without telling me? Tyler: I was angry. I needed to clear my head. Roxy: You’re lying! I can always tell from the way you don’t dare to look me in the eye. Why do you always have to lie to me?! Tyler: Okay, so I went for a few beers with a buddy of mine. Why does it matter to you? Roxy: You promised not to drink without telling me first! How do I know what you’ll get up to when you’re wasted! You could screw any girl! Tyler: Shut it; I’ve got a headache like hell. Roxy: But you promised! Tyler: I said SHUT UP!! (Tyler hits Roxy) Roxy: You hit me! I thought you loved me! Ever since I met you, I have strived to make myself look perfect, for you. Tyler: I do love you, when I want to. I need some air; I’m going to the park. (Tyler exits) Roxy: This is Amethyst’s fault… (Brief music.) Scene 13- Ralph’s Flat Ralph: (On the phone) Marlene, I am not in the police force anymore. I retired. You’ll have to call the station about your missing cat. Goodbye. (Puts phone down. Daniel knocks on the door.) Ralph: Who could that be? (Answers door. Daniel enters with Amethyst.) Ralph: Daniel, Amethyst; shouldn’t you two be at school? Daniel: We were walking towards it but Roxy suddenly appeared out of nowhere and attacked Amethyst with a pair of scissors. She screamed something about Tyler hitting her because he was so angry for her Mum kicking Flex out. The look inside her eyes was insane. Amethyst got a cut on her finger and lost part of her hair. Her Mum is at a job interview and Tristan isn’t answering his phone so I decided to come here. Ralph: Oh my Lord. I’ll call your Mum. Amethyst: (Faintly) No. I don’t want to trouble her. Ralph: Felicity, I mean Amethyst, ever since this harassment started I have not told anyone ever since I first caught them hassling you. Yet that was almost a year ago now, and the more you stay silent the more you help them gain the advantage. You need to tell your Mum, then the authorities. Amethyst: Ralph, please, give me time. Ralph: Fine, I’ll give you two days to tell her or I’ll tell her myself. I’ll go find you a plaster for that cut. (Ralph exits) Daniel: How are you feeling? Wait, that was a bad question right now. Amethyst: I can’t cope. Daniel: I know; that’s why I want to ask you something. Tristan and I are going to Brighton for the half-term holiday, he thinks that sea air is good for his skin, and I want you to come with me. You need a break from all this fear and stress. What do you say? Amethyst: Sounds great. (Pauses) But I can’t see how it’ll make anything better. Daniel: Listen, last summer, my parents were having awful financial trouble and it really pushed their relationship to breaking point. Listening to them arguing all the time, I feared that they would get divorced. I desperately wanted someone to talk to, but I had never felt so alone. Then, my Mum noticed how sullen and reserved I was, so she paid for me to spend three weeks in Brighton, away from their constant rows, which was the last decent thing she did for me before she vanished. And do you know what happened? Amethyst: You met Tristan. Daniel: Exactly. Ah, those three weeks were like heaven. From the moment we laid eyes on each other, we connected, like some weird kind of energy pulling us together. We would lie together on the beach on the beach and watch the Sun go down, and then at night we’d go dancing on the promenade beneath the colourful array of fairy lights. I was head-over-heels in love- hey, we still are- and never for one second in those three weeks did I think about what happened at home. (Tristan enters, having heard the conversation.) Tristan: When I met you, I truly believed in magic. Daniel: Tristan! When did you get here? Tristan: My phone was dead and when I finally got it charged all your messages came up, so I came right over here. You two okay? Daniel: Yeah, I’m just asking Amethyst if she wants to come to Brighton. (To Amethyst) Do you want to come? Amethyst: Alright, you’ve persuaded me. Tristan: Great, now come, let’s go to dinner; my treat. (They all exit. Brief music.) Scene 14- Amethyst’s Bedroom Amethyst: Let’s see. Toothbrush, check, hairbrush, check, pyjamas, check… (Sound of door opening) Mum: Hey darling. Amethyst: If you are going to beg me not to go with Daniel then you can leave. Don’t I deserve a break? Mum: I’m not going to stop you. In fact, I want to encourage you. You need some relaxation after everything that happened with Flex. Look at you. My attractive, fifteen-year-old Felicity. I know you like to be called Amethyst, but you are so much like your Grandma Felicity; the woman you are named after. She was exactly like you; pretty, bright, creative. All the things I’m not. Amethyst: You’re a wonderful Mum. Mum: My mother was a whole lot better than I am. She taught me everything useful in my life and I screwed up big time by getting involved with a married man. But the real surprise for me is that out of all the deception and mistrust I caused, such a beautiful and wise girl was born. Amethyst: Oh, Mum. Mum: I mean it with all my heart. I am so sorry for all the times I made you feel neglected and ignored. Go to Brighton. Have fun. Then, we you get back, I will be right here, waiting to turn a new page in both our lives. Amethyst: Mum, I need to tell you something… Mum: Yes, dear. Amethyst: Actually, never mind. Like you said; a new page in our lives. Mum: Alright. I’ll go make us some coffee. (Sound of door opening then closing) Amethyst: Sun cream, check, towel, check… (Tyler enters through window) Tyler: Hey, Amethyst. Amethyst: Tyler, how did you get in here? Tyler: Through the window. Your flat is only on the first floor, so for a guy who sneaks into his girlfriend’s house when her parents are asleep, it was a piece of cake. Amethyst: Get out or I’ll scream . Tyler: No, you won’t. I heard about your little trip to Brighton. Do you really think this is your happily ever after? Because once Daniel gets his chance he’ll be out of this estate and you will never see him again. Then you’ll be all alone when we come for you. Amethyst: You’re lying. This is a trick. Tyler: Is it? Think about it; what are you to him; a stupid tramp who needs him to take beatings for her? Well, you might want to stay in your flat, since the moment you step out that door, my gang will be waiting for you, and what we are going to do to you will not be pretty. Maybe we ought to force your Mum to clean up after us. See you later, Freak. (Tyler exits) Amethyst: This is it. There’s no way out. I can never escape. No…way…out… (Brief music.) Scene 15- The School Mrs. Greenwich: And so if we compare both charts we can see a positive correlation between the two. (Sound of school bell) Mrs. Greenwich: Well, that’s our time up for today. Make sure you hand in your coursework on Monday. Daniel, stay behind for a minute, I want to talk to you. Daniel: Oh, Mrs. Greenwich. Is this about my attendance record? A lot has happened at home… Mrs. Greenwich: No, no. I wanted to congratulate you on the book you showed me. ‘The Reality of Homophobia and Other Bullying’. I read it; very insightful, made me really think about today’s prejudiced society. I think you should try sending this to the publishers. Daniel: Really? That’s amazing. Mrs. Greenwich: Indeed. Oh, and what is the name of the girl who did the illustrations? Daniel: Amethyst? Mrs. Greenwich: Yes, her. Ask her to come to my office on Tuesday. Her drawings are incredibly good quality. I have an inkling she could go far. Daniel: Great. I’ll tell her. Goodbye, Mrs. Greenwich. Mrs. Greenwich: Goodbye. Such a nice boy. (Brief music.) Scene 16- Amethyst’s House (Sound of a rope swinging. Daniel enters. Sound of door opening then closing.) Daniel: Amethyst, I have some great news. I talked to my tutor and… (Seeing Amethyst hanging from the ceiling) Amethyst? AMETHYST?! Oh my God! AMETHYST?! (Cuts her down) Please be okay! Can you hear me?! WAKE UP! Please, for the love of the Lord, WAKE UP! Please… (Brief music.) Scene 17- St. Matthew’ Church (Sound of a funeral taking place. Tristan and Daniel stand by Amethyst’s grave.) Vicar: As I walk through the shadow of the valley of death… Tristan: (To Daniel) Daniel, baby, how are you? Say something. Daniel: She was wonderful, Tristan. Everyone thought she was different from them, yet she was wonderful. She could have been an artist. I can’t carry on anymore, not with the burden of her death and the gang still hounding me. I spent half of my savings helping Mrs. Anderson prepare the funeral. It felt the right thing to do and just couldn’t stand by and watch her sink into deeper debt trying to lay her daughter to rest. Then a few hours ago I got a call from the hospital saying my Dad couldn’t stick to the rehab and ended up in intensive care with alcohol poisoning. Doctors believe he may not pull through this time. My life is a mess. Maybe, I should join Amethyst and end it all as well. Tristan: Daniel, no. Do not even think about it. Normally, it is extremely hard to get angry with you, yet I will not allow you to throw your life away. As you said, Amethyst was wonderful, but now she is dead; a hole has been punched in the world. If you did the same, you would not re-fill that hole, but you would punch another one beside it. Amethyst is dead, so it I up to you, to live for her. Daniel: You always know the right things to say. I love you, and I’d be nothing without you. (Scene wanders to Ralph and Amethyst’s Mum. Amethyst’s mum is crying.) Ralph: Ssssshhhhh. There, there. Mum: (Crying) Ralph, I thought I had made things right. I miss my Felicity so much. Ralph: I feel awful. She said she would tell you about the bullying, but I knew I should have done something about it earlier. Mum: It isn’t your fault. She may have killed herself, but her bullies might as well have tied the noose. (Flex enters.) Flex: Mrs. Anderson. Mum: Flex Ravens, you ought to get down on your knees and beg for forgiveness. Your betrayal hurt her as much as they did. Flex: Honestly, I would beg at your feet, if it could make you feel the slightest bit better, though I know it will not heal the ache in your heart. My Mother is dead, so I understand your pain. About what I did, I am sorry to the very ends of the Universe, and you cannot imagine how much I hate myself right now. Amethyst was a special girl. Mum: She was your sister as well. (Stunned silence) Flex: What?! Mum: Violet Ravens, your mother, was the kindest, most generous woman I ever met. Fifteen years ago, I cleaned for her and her husband. Then that devil you call your father seduced me. I was young, naïve and unable to resist his charisma. But the moment I told him I was pregnant with Felicity; he threw me into the dust and accused me of being a whore and a home-wrecker. You were three at the time. Your mother got a divorce when she discovered the affair. Then, last year, when I heard her brain tumour was terminal, I rushed straight to her side, and promised that, no matter what, I would care for you as my own. You were Feli-Amethyst’s half-brother…Flex, please don’t give me silence, and say something. Flex: Those murderers are going to pay. Mrs. Anderson, thank you for everything you’ve done. Don’t try to stop me, just know that whatever happens to me, I was happy to have known the truth. (Sound of footsteps running and door slamming. Brief music.) Scene 18- The Streets (Sound of people partying) Tyler: Hey Roxy, pass me another beer. Roxy: Honey, you’ve had too many already. Remember we are under eighteen; we could be arrested for just carrying this stuff in a public place, especially since we have already been caught twice. Remember what happened with my brother Andrew, he got caught handling alcohol a third time, and now he sits in a cell all day. Tyler: Since when did my wild girlfriend obey the rules? We are Kings; we make the rules! (Sound of footsteps. Flex enters with a kitchen knife.) Tyler: Flex, come join us. Hey, that’s a nice shotgun. Flex: Amethyst is dead… Tyler: Yeah, we heard. Flex: …And you shall pay!! (Flex shoots Tyler. Gunshot. Roxy screams and cradles Tyler.) Tyler: (Weakly) Roxy…. (Tyler dies) Roxy: (To Flex) You killed him! Murderer! Flex: His actions ended my sister’s life, so he suffered the consequences… (Brief music.) Scene 19- Final Scene Daniel: Five long years have passed since then. To this day, I still ponder over whether Tyler’s murder was justified or not. The crown court played its part, and Flex was sentenced to a life imprisonment of thirty years. Also, due to Flex’s brief involvement with them, the entire gang, including Roxy, were given three year sentences. I believe they call it Joint Enterprise. Upon her release, Roxy supposedly had a change of heart, got herself straightened out and recently set up her own support group, where she now helps youngsters who are bullied or bullies who need rehabilitating. Sadly, as I read of her amazing achievement in the newspapers, I find it extremely hard to forgive her, and even today, if I pass her in the street, I am unable to meet her eyes. Yet, I know she truly loved Tyler, therefore I can imagine how much she grieved him, so though I cannot bear to be near her, I wish her no evil. Three years after losing her daughter, Mrs. Anderson married Ralph, who had been her support and comfort, and they are expecting a baby in a few months, who they will eternally love and cherish, though I know no one can ever replace Amethyst. Mrs. Anderson continues to visit Flex in prison every month. As for me, well, despite the sorrow we all endured, I passed my A Levels and went to University, where I achieved in graduating with an English degree. I now work as a journalist, travelling the length of Britain searching for the hot gossip. After luckily surviving his alcohol poisoning, my Dad returned to rehab and later fell in love with his widowed neighbour. I hope someday he will become fully clean of booze and we can piece together our father-and-son relationship. Last year, I entered a civil partnership with my beloved Tristan, who still acts as my guide and advisor. ‘The Reality of Homophobia and Other Bullying’ was published- dedicated to Amethyst- and I occasionally receive letters from grateful individuals and families suffering homophobic abuse or other types of bullying who feel my book has shown them someone is listening to their cries for help. Every 29th April, on Amethyst’s birthday, whilst the spring flowers bloom in the fields and the baby lams take their first footsteps, Mrs. Anderson, Ralph, Tristan and I visit Amethyst’s grave at St. Matthew’s Church on the hill and place upon the stone a bunch of violets; her favourite flowers. Amethyst hardly had a life, but she certainly changed the lives of others forever. The End Text: Sophie Mander All rights reserved. Publication Date: June 27th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-bookwormsoph

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-brandonsgirl9951-aka-shannon-jones-why-did-she-take-him/

brandonsgirl9951 aka shannon jones Why did she take him? Why did she take him my only thing? to anyone who likes it. Publication Date: November 7th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-brandonsgirl9951

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-denia-nevarez-true-love-or-not/

denia nevarez True love or not. Im done . Intro Hey, Im Lininsy, its long and ugly, so call me Lizz or Lizzy. Any ways ima witch. A full blooded witch, i have many power. And i guess you can call me pretty from what they tell me but in reality, im ugly. I dont fall for guys. They fall for me. It sounds rude and stuck up, bit its also honesty. Maybe not every guy. Ive never been broken up with, if they get to clingy, im gone. But this time its different... Heres my story. First day. "LININSY!!!! WAKE UP!" momma called or yelled "Im up momma, quit yellin" i said laughing I got up and went to do my hair, i mean you got to look good on the first day right? I sound stuck up. Im not popular, but im also not an outsider. I brushed my thick long blonde hair, and started to straighten it, while the straightener was heating up, i pulled out my make up box. I put my brown contacts in, i dont like revealing my bluish crystal like eyes. They look weird and make me too noticeable, everyone started to find out i wore contacts, last year. No biggie. Todays a new year, well not really its the first day. When i got the mascara and put it on i loved it, makes my eyes look bigger. I did my cat eye, makes me look fierce. I did my eyeliner than my hair. Than my clothes,  ripped skinny high waisted jeans, with my black crop top, showing off my belly button piercing. I put my lip gloss on, and than my lip ring back on. Put on my back pack and ran out the door. Im not to excited its just my mom told me i couldnt drive my new car till the first day of school. Goodbye bus. I looked at my skin against the sun, im pale but not to pale, whic is just right for me. I got in the car and drove off to school, went to the office got my classes and all the boring crap.  1st period. Reading 2nd period. Mathematics 3rd period. Chemistry 4th period. Second lunch 5th period: P.E 6th period: study hall    I wonder who i have classes with. When i walked in 1st period, i saw my homegirls Crysa, Crystal (Twins) and Melody. Best part were all witches. I sat down next to Melody   "Omg, you got WAAY prettier, whatchu been up to girl" Melody says "Girl quit playin, all i know is that life has treaten me right" I say laughin " Any cute new boys, girl?" she says "Naw, you know how i am Mel. I just have no attention for them." i say "One day girly, one day." she says   Class started. I looked at her and noticed she dyed her hair red, it looked good on her skintone, her cheekbones pop out now, and shes skinnier. Good for her, shes one of my closest friends. The best one.   ............................... The whole day has passed and not a single thing happened. I was tired. I gave Crysta and Crystal a ride home since they dont got cars yet. They did their normal bickering while i just listened to the music. When i dropped them off, i couldnt help but laugh because Crysta used magic on Crystal. You saw Crystal, she was bald. She started to cry  "Reverse the spell, reverse it!!!" She begged "Say sorry." Crysta says "s-sorry." she said And with a snap of her finger, all of her hair was back, i laughed so hard i started to cry. Crystal just gave me a look and i put my hands in the air as if i did nothing. When i got home i just plopped to bed. Im beat . Whos he ? Were already 1 month into the school year. Their is many cute boys but none im intrested in. Sometimes i think im lez but ive never been intrested in girls either. I dont know i just- just... whatever, i just i wish i was in a relationship but, im not intrested in anybody. Why do i have to be so complicated. When i got into the car and left, i noticed all these stares, when i got to school. I went to the restroom and saw that i forgot my contacts. Crap. This is the reason i dont like my eyes, their very rare, but not unnatural. I walked back out and got a couple people walk up to me asking if these are my real eyes. I replied yes and walked off, some believed me, some didnt. But they shouldnt care about my eyes. I dont, its also a relief my eyes aint buggin me. Melony saw me and was like woah. I just laughed. Ima leave them like this more often. I went to class and noticed a guy. A really hot one sitting right next to me. He caught my atttention. Who is he? He has snake bites, black long black hair, not to long, its like an emo cut. Hes muscular from what i can see, and i think hes tall but i dont know hes sitting down. I guess he saw me, he just stared at me. I sat down in my seat and stared back.    "Yes, may i help you?" i say laughing "Oh uhm sorry, are those your real eyes" he says "yeah, actually they are." i said smiling. Gawd he is such a cutay "mhm i so believe you" he says "I promise" i looked at him witha calm face and held out my pinky. "Oh yes pinky promises" he clutched his pinky with mine. he was smiling   His smile the most best thing ive seen in my life, his eyes are this bluish color and its memorizing really, when i took a look at his classes (teacher told me to show him around, yessss) all his classes are all the same as mine, except p.e, he gets football same crap, but we do different stuff.    "All classes together. Awesome" he said smiling " Dont get to excited, oo and looky that, your locker is right next to mine" i winked "woah, it was just meant to be." he said. i blushed. "oh shut up" i laughed and blushed "awee shes turning red" he said "btw whats your name?" i say "oh sorry, my names Dylan. Dylan Gossom." he says "Nice to meet you Dyl (nickname i have for him) my names Lininsy but call me Lizz" i say "Well Lininsy, isnt that a beautiful name for such a beautiful girl, also very unique" he says i blushed even harder. "and there it is again" he laughed   I playfully punched him and said lets go, everybody was staring at us walking down the hall laughing. I just put my head down, it felt weird. I almost tripped, but he picked me up before i even fell. I was staring in his eyes, and he was staring in mine. He kissed me. In front of everybody. Than he said, friends?. What the hell is that, you kiss me than say friends!. Whatever its the first day weve been here. I smile and go to our classes. Its not like i can love him, it doesnt exist. Hes a mortal. Soul mates do not exist. Heartless my ass . "Do you like him?" Crysta says. Other girls surround "No hes a mortal and my best guy friend ." i say " im just sayin, you two have been friends for 6 months now. Date already." she says "No crysta ." i walked away annoyed. she grabbed my shoulder "So you wouldnt mind if i asked him out?" she says. I gritted my teeth. "I dont care. Now let me go before i make sure you have no legs to dance with." i smirked. "Okay... homecomings soon. Find someone." she says letting me go     I walked away, Yes i like him okay, and i hate that. I never reallly get jealous when he talks about girls or anybody, but today is different he told me his gunna ask some chick to homecoming and for some reason i think its Crysta. Ugh. Why her? Shes ugly, i dont know for sure yet. Im talking crap about one of my friends.. I feel fake. I shouldnt feel this way, hes just a guy. Its Dylan though, not just a guy, hes different. Ever since that kiss ive been different, weve been friends for a while now, and we dont argue much, but he doesnt feel that way for me. All i know is when i find out who this girl is, im going to make sure she has no legs to dance with. I dont care who she is. I felt tears weal up in my eyes, i started to run to the restroom i didnt want anybody to see me cry, while i was running i ran into him... he caught me and looked me in the eye, i looked in his eyes, remembering i dont have my contacts in, so my eyes look weird when their teary, i looked deep in his eyes, his perfect blue eyes, a tear escaped...   "Dylan, just let me go." I croaked. "Who made you cry?!, You dont cry Lizz. Who the hell did this.?" he says madly. "Oh screw you Dylan. You dont know me. What do you care!? Dont you have a girl to ask to homecoming, go ask her already and let me go!" I yelled. I was an emotional wreck.   "You know what Lizz i do have a girl to ask to homecoming, shes gorgeous like heaven, ive never seen any girl like her, or even act like her. Weve been friends for a while, shes the best person ive ever met in this entire world, shes made my crappy life the best,  ive liked her since the first day i met her! Shes as tough as nails, and i have never seen her cry before until now, and i dont like it. No ones going to hurt her because i love her!. I love you. Since the first day, i knew you were special. So here i am Lininsy. Will you go to homecoming with me? I know its 2 months away but your the only one i want to go with" he says.   I sunk to the ground and started crying and covering my face. I looked up at him, he was still holding me, i tippy toed and looked into his eyes, he was clearly mad, the dumb butt didnt know i was jealous. When he looked me straight back in the eyes i kissed him. I put my arm around his neck and kissed him, he grabbed me by the waist, and picked me up. I smiled at him, he wiped the tear off my face and set me down.   "Is that a yes..?" he smiles shyly "hmm i dont know.." i wink at him   He picked me up and kissed me on my lips one more time and says.. "How about now?" he smiles I nodded my head smiling widley. He picked my chin and asked me what was wrong, when i explained everything to him, he laughed and kissed me on my forehead, as the day went by, girls hated me, since i was now dating, Dylan. I honestly didnt care. At the end of the day i looked at him in the eyes and said. "I love you too Dylan." i smiled and gave him a big kiss. "About time" He gave me his cheesy smile and picked me up and put me on his back. I kissed his cheek, and just hung on while he gave me a piggy back ride to my car. My friends looked at me and smiled, Crysta glared at me. I think she was mad but i dont care. I have all i want, and all i need. Party baby. I woke up the next morning eager to get ready, its saturday and the perfect time to go to a party. Dylan and his basketball team (did i forget to mension that) were going to have a party at his house. He texted me saying there was a party. I walked to Melodys house and said get ready, time to go.   "what where?" she says bluntly. I smirked and she knew exactly where, i grabbed her wrist and we ran back to my house. I put on my black silky tight dress, that showed a bit of my boobs, but it looked modest (I had big boobs, so a bit meant alot). I never usually dress like this but this is Dylans party not just any party. I looked at Mel and decided to put her in one of my glittery dresses, it was black but shimmery, and lets say it got her body perfectly. I gave her red heels, it went with her hair. As for me i put my heels on but mine were also red,  but they were glittery not making me look to plain. I used a bit of my magic, to make us smell good, we smelled like sweet vanilla.   "So are you ever gunna tell him your a witch" she says.   "When the time is right Mel, i just dont know-" she cut me off   "dont know if he'll still love you." she says   "exactly" i halfly smiled.   When we were done getting ready, i got into Mel's car and we drove off. When we got there i was a little stunned. His house was hugee. I didnt imagine him to be the rich type even though he had a bmw. It just never crossed my mind. I walked in a little dazed off. When i noticed there was a girl flirting with Dylan. I was so mad. I looked at him and when he noticed me his eyes went wide. I just smiled annd walked off. I took some shots (okay alot) captain morgan better help. I wanted to just burst out into tears. I got a little drunk (lies i was full blown drunk) When one of the guys asked to dance. I smiled politely and said yes. I was dancing a little suckish since i couldnt really fet my feet to walk the way i wanted them to. I saw him Dylan looking at me. I smiled and rested my head on the guys chest. Next thing i knew the guy i was dancing with was on the floor with a bloody face. I stared at Dylan horrified.   (Dylans p.o.v) While i was waiting for the babe to get to the party, some chick side tracked me. She was flirting with me and i just smiled at her not to be rude. Next minute i knew  saw her walk in, looking as sexy as ever. Her boobs were all out. I felt my self get hard. When she saw me i noticed the look on her face. She was pissed, i looked at the girl in front of me than looked at her wide eyeded. She just smiled and walked off. I was a little scared to look for her, knowing how she was i know that if i talked to her now, telling her it was a misunderstanding, but i know id probably still end up with no balls. So im thinking later.  After a while i decided to go talk to her i went to see if she was in the kitchen but she wasnt. She was on the dance floor dancing with Oliver. MINE! How dare he touch MY girl. When i noticed the way she was dancing i could tell she was full on drunk. How dare he take advantage. Than she looked at me. I can tell she was stilll mad at me and she noticed the jealousy on my face so she closed her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder. I dont know how i got to him but all i noticed is that he was bloody on the floor and Lizzy looked at me horrified. I picked her up and i can tell she was to drunk to fight me off of her. I took her to my room and set her down. She looked at me pissed. And i looked at her pissed.   "What the hell was that Lizz! Dancing on another guy. Your mine and only mine!" i yelled   "Ohhh... I have to just stay with only you, whi-while you can go around flirting with whoever you want. Im not one of your whores Adrian." she slurred teary eyed. I hate seeing her that way   " I didnt flirt with her! She was flirting with me. I didnt want to be rude to her so i just left her there talking when really i was waiting for you! And you get mad without even questioning, you assuming and than you go all whore and decide to go with another guy!" i said. I regretted it   "Screw you. If im such a whore why are you with me. I assumed, and i was h-hurt and i wanted pay back.. but im just a whore right?" she sobbed and was trying to go to the door with her wobbly legs. I caught her and layed her down on the bed. She sat up though   "I didnt mean it okay. Im just mad, and jealous i know your not a whore." I hugged her and she remained silent.   I layed down with her and just cuddled with her.   "i-im sorry" she said and turned to face me. I shut her up and kissed her, she kissed me back hungrily, i knew she was drunk so i didnt want to take it as far as i meant to. She kissed me on my neck, and adrian junior decides to pop up. I blushed, she smiled and started to kiss me, her tongue entering my mouth oh how i wanted to continue, but i stopped and just hugged her by her waist.  She quicky fell asleep in my arms.   (Lininsys p.o.v) Last night was a blur, i fluttered my eyes open to see that i was stilll in Dylans room and also his arms wrapped tightly around me. I smiled and i knew we didnt do it last night cause we both had our clothes on. As drunk as i was he could of taken advantage but he didnt. I looked at the hickey on his neck. I smiled knowing i did that. Last night was a misunderstanding and the best night of my life.   "Morning baby" he said smiling and yawning   "Morning my love" i smiled back    " i love you" i blurted out.   "I love you too" he kissed my nose and said and i was complete.     Hate, Love, him. I got up for school, tired as hell. I got ready and ran down stairs, i got into my car and left. I was ditchin school today, to go with Adrian. Were going to the movies, to watch the fault in our stars, i was happy he was going to see a chick flick with me, i dont really like them but whatever made me seem girly. When we enetered the movie theaters, i saw a group of college girls there. They all stared at him and i looked at them with hate, and they smirked at me. This petite girl with black hair and big eyes went up to him, while i was literally right there.   "Hey cutie" The girl says   "uhm hi." he says awkwardly   "so how bout me and you-" i cut her off.   "No how about your bitch ass goes somewhere else, and fuck off My boyfriends." i got in her face. "and if i dont" she says smirking.   I saw his face, he was quiet but he looked angry. I didnt care. I tackled her to the ground and started punching her in the face, she started to pull my hair, i started to laugh, poor human girl. I got her pinned on the ground and started to punch wildly at her face, Adrian picked me up and pulled me off of her   "Stupid litte bitch, watch your fuckin back, next time ill make sure your ass cant talk no more" i screamed.   She stood up, and was crying with blood dripping down her face. I smiled proudly at myself that i used no magic. I rarely ever do now a days. When Adrian put me down he stared at me in shock. I looked down thinking he was mad at me for going off on a girl b-but hes mine, and that bitch had the balls to flirt with him right in front of me.   "I-im sorry." i whispered "I just got so mad, like i was right there." i said   He looked at me and kissed me in amasment.   "Damn baby, you look amazing when you beat her ass. I cant believe you did that" he smiled   He picked me up and kissed me again, biting my lip turning me on, but no we were at the theaters. I just smiled and laughed.    "Your so stupid" i kissed him on the cheek   "but you love me" he says smiliing widely   I cocked my eyebrow up like i wasnt to sure, he looked at me and picked me up, and started kissing my neck, turning me on.   "OKAY OKAY! I love you!" i say, practictly moaning. he laughed "You better" i shut him up and kissed him saying its time for the movie. We went in got our snacks and began. .......................... I dont really remember anything about the movie, i was technically making out with Adrian the whole time i couldnt focus. I loved skipping school but when my mom found out i didnt go to school she was pissed.   "Why werent you at school.? And where were you?" she yelled.   "Because i felt sick, i went to the library across town and chilled over there knowing you'd freak out if i came home early, sorry mom but my head was killing me an i needed out" i said innocently, trying to cover the hickey on my neck. She said okay and kissed me on the cheek. I went up stairs and got in the shower, it was cold which i loved, i felt as the icy water went down my body. Than i heard a knock on my restroom door (yes my restroom that was in my room)    "Yes?" i said, i unlocked the door and went back into the shower, knowing it was probably my mom. When they knocked again i said come in, and i closed my eyes taking off the conditioner i had on my hair. I felt someone in the bathroom noticing it was Adrian. I screamed and covered my  body.   "What the hell are you doing here!" i asked   "Oh balcony door was open and you said come in" he said smiling innocently   "Well get out im naked babe" i said playfully   he kissed me on the lips and on the neck, i let out a moan (damn me) "You sure i cant join?" he said in a seducing voice   "Nope" i smiled   "please babe, i promise you can drive my car, we dont have to do "it" i just wanna have fun" he says, smiling in his way. damn his car is sexy.   "Fine" i sigh feeling defeated.   He took his shirt off, and damn his abs are freakin stunning. I think i drooled a little, he started to laugh and so did I.   "Dam babe, just get your ass in here already." i said seducively.   I started to wash my body when he came in. Lemme say his manhood. Is not small. AT ALL. I felt myself blushing. I swear it looked like 10 inches. Is that possible? He smiled at me and began to kiss me, i brushed my hands through his wet hair and began to suck on his neck, he was moaning, he was trying to hold it in but i knew it wasnt working. I began to kiss him again and i bit his lip. He put me on the wall, i can feel his man hood getting hard, he blushed and i just started to have a little fun, despite the fact i was really turned on, i was still virgin. I put my ass on his manhood and began to move just to tease him.   "n-no, s-stop Lizz" he practictly moaned   "you wanteed to come in, i might as well have fun" i said   "f-fine, my turn." he gave me an evil smile   he pinned me on the wall and started sucking on my nipples. I started to moan, and i hated that though i loved this feeling. He smiled up at me, moving his hands, when i felt his hand on my area i knew exactly what he was going to do.   "n-no." i said still moaning   "like i said baby, my turn" he put his finger inside me, i moaned, than another finger.   "Im a virgin babe." i said he looked at me shocked. " oh im sorry babe" he said   I just kissed him and kissed him. I wanted him but just not right now. Not yet.   "Soon, i promise" i said turning off the water.   I started to dry off my body and he just stared at me.   "What?' I said.   "Damn babe, i dont know if i can take this you are way to sexy"   i laughed, he spent the night that night. My mom never came into my room but i locked the door just in case. He cuddled with me, i loved feeliing his arms wrapped around me it fely like i was protected. Only him made me feel this way. I know id have to tell him soon, but i just didnt know how. Homecoming is in one month, for some reason i was scared. I knew i was gong to tell him that day. Maybe... i slowly drifted off to sleep. Getting prepared. Homecoming is in a week so i had to go buy a dress, i spent 3 hours looking for the perfect dress but nothing worked. I was so irritated. I dont like lookig girly, im the skater tye of girl but i knew for once, id have to switch it up just for that one day. I walked into a store and saw this beautiful blue dress. I stood there mesmorized by it. When i tried it on i loved it. Heres a little look it matched my eyes, which i loved. I took everything off an went down to pay. It cost me 347$ for everything. Its alot but worth it, i smiled at myself for once i felt pretty. I texted the girls and showed Mel a few pics of my dress   " Omg i love it" she texts   "ig but it feels so weird to be dressed like this." i text   "You look gorgeous, ttyl"   I fell onto the bed. Than got back up putting my pajamas on. I was bored, and missing Dylan but i decided to just practice my magic, its been a while. I got my spell book and started doing random spells, i painted 'or shall i say pointed my finger at" the walls and they turned into a red color, i did my ceiling black, and my certains had beads. I did spells to throw people across the room, all i did was throw my teddy bear. I stated to think about how id tell Dylan about me... than it also crossed my mind about the council. If they found out a human knows about us, they'd kill me. Evem him. I wiped away the thought. What i was doing was illigal, b-but i love him. Way to much. When im with him, and i tell him everthing, he will act like he doesnt know. When we get, if we ever do get married,we'll move far far away. If they ever found out we'd be on the run. Id be fine as long as i was with him. He's my life now. I protect him now. Its like a game of chess, the queen protects the king. And thats exactly what im going to do Suit it up (Dylans p.o.v) I needed to find a suit. I just didnt know what color of tie or anything. I wonder what Lizzys going to where. How about blue, blues a cool color. Okay no more baggy jeans or t-shirt. This is homecoming with the girl i love. Not just some girl. Its her, shes secial i know it, we were meant to be ever since the first day i know this. I waked into the last store and saw the perfect suit. I hate how i sounded so girly. I tried the suit on and looked at myself i the mirror proudly... I cut my emoish hair, but swore I'd let it grow back out again. I still looked good. When I got done paying for it, it cost about 500$ wasn't much. It's worth it. I changed back into my clothes and got in my car and went home. I couldn't stop thinking about her, everything about her was amazing. I needed to get inside of her, taste her, smell her and breath her. She's my life now. If she dies, I die. I swear on my own soul I will protect her. With all I got I will. I will love her till the end of my final days  No matter what . I know she's different. There's something about her, that I don't understand. She's hiding something from me, but it's not important as long as she's with me. Just me. If we ever break up. Suicide is what pops through my mind. I'd lose my mind without her... damn I'm whooped Homecoming oh homecoming (Lininsys p.o.v) OMG today's the day I called the girls (except for Crystal me and her have been on bad terms lately.) They all got ready at my house, I was so happy. I straightened my hair and pinned it to the side. I've never seen myself like this. It amazed me that I cam actually be pretty. But it was so uncomfortable. When I came out the restroom. Me and the girls all looked at each other, we gasped.   "BEAUTIFUL" we all said together that. Laughed   Omgawd. I can't believe this is really happening tonight's the night I tell him. Tonight is also our 2 month anniversary, we've known each other for like a year now and it feels like forever. I heard the ring of the bell and me and the girls walked down stairs to a limo awaiting us, I was so happy. Than I saw Adrian. I having seen him in a while since my mom has been so protective and I don't know why. I jumped up to him and hugged him. I'm still shorter than him even with my heels he picked me up and spun me around, I looked at his hair HE CUT IT OMG i ran my hairs threw it. "And you still look sexy, damn baby" I said kissing him wildly. God I missed him   "Look at you! Omg your a goddess" he kissed me back hungrily   Someone behind us said to get in the limo he put me down and hugged me tight than picked me up and carried me to the limo I was smiling so much, God. "Babe.?" I said "Yes my love?" He said "I love you my king, so so so much" I said kissing him "Baby, I love you most" he said he kissed my nose.   When he set me down we were being stared at with everyone and those awed faces, I laughed and cuddled up to my king. I really do love him.   When we got there they took our picture.  I actually smiled. He picked me up again and that's how the picture went.  We sat down at our table and he got me and him drinks. I couldn't stop staring. Than I realized something.   "Babe how the hell did you know the color of my dress?" I said laughing   "Babe I swear I had no idea" he says smiling   We both laughed and gave each other a high five. A little later I saw a familiar man. I looked up and said I'll be right back. I followed him. It was my father. I gasped. (He's apart of the council) "Hello sweety" he said in a evil smile "Why are you here" I said "Oh, well I hear your with a human?" He says madly "Who says anything about that, I am with no human" I say "Well your little friend Crysta told me." He said even more mad. "Well she is wrong, father. He asked me to homecoming and that is it. I have no interest in him what's so ever, so you can leave now." I say.   He started to walk towards me and I walk backwards. He grabbed me and took me to the back. "Don't lie to me you bitch" he says. I looked at him about to cry. "I'm not lying, Robert" I called him by his name. I saw hurt in his eyes and I did not care.   I walked away from my father, knowing the council would find out. I was scared for my life. He is my life. When I came back I saw a girl trying to get on Adrians lap. I was already so mad. I accidentally used my magic picked her up and threw her against the wall. Everyone gasped. But no one saw me do it. I chuckled and got to the table. Adrian looked at me. "W-what was that.?" He says eyes wide. Holy crap he saw me "B-babe, we need to talk" I grabbed his hand but he pulled away "N-no, you your a witch. I'm sorry but this is to much" he ran out the door.   I ran to follow him. Than boom. Everything flashed before my eyes. I let out a screaerrm and fell to my knees crying.  "Dylan!!" I screamed. I was terrified of what I just seen and I held his body in my arms.   (Dylans  p.o.v) She's a witch. WhY the hell didn't she tell me. This isn't something little. I was confused. I pulled away from her and ran out. Before I knew it, a car had hit me right when I ran out of the building. I was a little cautious, I was on the floor. I heard her scream than cry. I could hear her foot steps hold me. She's crying I felt tears on my face. I couldn't help but feel bad, my princess. I shouldn't have cared. But I cared that she didn't tell me.. I could feel her carrying me. I knew we were in a room alone. I knew I was dying. And bleeding out. I know this because I could feel it. I felt myself getting weak and dying. I wanted to tell her I loved her but I couldn't move anything. I was stiff.   (lininsys p.o.v) I picked him, god he was heavy. How is no one seeing this. The car that hit him kept driving. No one was outside so i zapped both of us in my room. I put him on the bed, i know hes cautious. His heart rate was slowing down. I was shaking so badly i could barely focus. I pulled my self together. I was throwing all my books till i found my spell book. I found the one with the skull on it. It represented black magic. Ive never done it . My mom did it once when i was younger. I was seven. My father got me and threw me at the wall, several times. My mother was afraid, my father is very powerful. When he left, i knew i was dying at the time, so my mother did this chant bringing me back to life. I dont remember it but i know its in here. When i found the page i lit up all the candles desperatly. I needed a power source, and that was from fire, or water. When i was done i sat on the bed. And started saying the chant getting louder and louder.   "Avisa, mahina, momacra, vive muerte, vive, vive muerte. omena, vive, vive." i chanted that about 20 times, knowing this would take a while.Everything started moving around us. I know what i was doing was illigal, but hes my life, if he goes so do i. Than it happened. I felt his heart beat starting to speed up, i kissed him desperatley, tears running down my face. I knew he was weak, so i handled myself, but than he grabbed me, and kissed me, he was strong, stronger than me i smiled in amazement. I ran my hands through his hair kissing him passionatly.   "i-i love you, im sorry i ran off, i was just confused and amazed" he says breathing hard   " omg babe, i love you, im sorry i didnt tell you i was just scared." i said kissing him   I started to unbutton his suit, leaving his tie on, damn he looked sexy. He took off his pants and i knew what this was leading to buti honestly didnt care. He ripped off my dress and started to kiss my on my collar bone, a moan escaped from my lips, i saw he was hard and i just smiled at him and he began to laugh.   "Can i ?" he says   "well i sorta owe you" i said winking at him.   I took off my heels and he took off his boxers. We were both wrapped in eachothers arms naked. I know he liked to dominate so he was on top, kissing me our tongues playing with eachother, i kissed him on hs neck sucking on it a bit and he let out a moan. Than 'thrush' i felt him inside of me it hurt so bad, a tear escaped and he looked at me worried i said im fine, he went in and out 3 more times and than that pain got a more pleasurable, he bit me on my shoulder, i was moaning, trying to bite my lip from keeping it from going to loud. He finished inside of me and so did i. We were both laying next to eachother, very exhausted.  He cuddled up to me i could hear his hard breathing. I turned to look at him and i kissed him lightly on the lips.   "You know when i thought i lost you today, i felt like i lost myself." a tear escaped my eyes "- and after that i knew that your all i want and all i need. I have things i need to tell you, and it willl be very confusing. But when i brought u back to life, i was fine. Dylan your my life. My love. and i know you want to protect me but in this life-" he cut me off   "I know your a witch, i dont care how much power you have. I will always protect you, always be with you. No matter what. Nothing will pull me away from you. Your mine-" i cut him off   "but see... there are things you do not know. We will talk tomorrow. but now we sleep" i kissed him on the lips and he nodded. I snuggled more into him and he welcomely put his arm over me practically pushing him against me. We were still naked, his body warm. It felt like home Love... (warning this  chapter contains alot of sexual activities. If you are not mature enough than do not read .)     Next morning, i woke up still cuddled up in Dylans arms, i smiled. I knew today would be alot of talking, Glances of images from last night appeared and i smiled, i looked at him, he looked so calm while he was asleep, he was still a hottie.   "enjoying the view" he said smiling giving me that smerk of his. I blushed   "Actually yes. I would love to see it more often" i said winking. He laughed.   "Anything for you, my love" he said kissing me on the nose. i smiled like an idiot   "ugh i would hate to get up, but i have to take a shower" i said   "hmm so do i, mind if i join?" he says winking   "Why are you even asking" i said smiling   I got up knowing i was still naked. His jaw dropped once again and i looked at him in confusion   "What, am i fat?" i said laughing   "Everytime, yoour body amazes me" he said with wide eyes.   I just laughed and dragged him off the bed. We both went to my restoom. It was like a normal shower, except yanno we were kissing the whole time rubbing our soapy bodies against eachother, i teased him a bit, and laughed at him while he moaned. When i was done i got out and he looked at me with an evilish smile.   "my turn" he said.   I ran out the restroom still in my towl, he chased me. He got me right before i was even out the bedroom door and put his hard manhood in between my legs.  shit. I thought. i moaned a little. He picked me up and threw me on the bed. He started to kiss me on the neck and down below, i moaned loudly not caring if anybody heard me. I wanted him, but he just kept teasing.   "s-stop teasing me" i moaned   "nope. Moan my name and ill stop this torture" he laughed   "no!" i am not letting him win this won so easily   He began to tease me even more, he rubbed my clit and his name slipped out of my mouth. I didnt care if he won, i needed him. He smiled at me devilishly and he rubbed his manhood only a little bit on the outside. I began to get mad that he was teasing me   "D-dylan, s-stop t-teasing me" i moaned mad at myself this time.   He laughed at me, an i knew he wanted in, so i began to play his game. I got on top this time, i started to kiss him everywhere even down below, i swollowed him whole. He began to moan my name, and i began to laugh. were even. i said in my head i sucked on his neck knowing id leave a mark.   (dylans p.o.v)  I was having fun with her, until she took controll, i was pretty amazed with what she did. I began to moan her name and i hated my self for giving in, she started to kiss my neck and i didnt think my manhood could get any harder. I took control again getting on top. I went inside of her and she moaned loudly, and so did i, i went faster and deeper and she finally finsished and than so did i. I couldnt keep my self, nor controll myself with her, i gave her a big wet kiss, while she was still trying to catch her breath. We both began to laugh.   "i-i love you" i said in between breaths   "i-i d-do t-t-to" she says barely breathing.   The revealing I was still laying there looking at her, she was closing her eyes, i knew she had no energy in her. I smiled and grabbed her and took her out of bed, we were literally walking around her house naked. I felt guilty, she was literally hanging over my shoulder. I put her in the kitchen chair, knowing she was still tired i kissed her on her fore head   "wake up, lazy butt, member our talk" i said   "yea, i remember let me just chill for a bit, i mean did u not see what  u did to me in there" she says smiling   "how could i not see" i said winking. She laughed.   I made coffee and toasted the toast, while she made bacon and pancaked, we both looked at eachother and smiled. I could see my future with her, a couple kids, a ring. She was cooking naked, i mean like what more can i ask for. When it was all done we sat down and ate. I prepared myself for our talk.   (Lininsys p.o.v) I began to explain everything...   "Okay listen babe, you know i want to be with you forever right. Right, but this is a very dangerous game were playing. Ill explain why...   A long long time ago, when all the supernatural were out of control, a council set up. Which means the most powerful of all species came together, They set up rules.. 1st rule. No supernatural being can be with a human nor should they know about of us.   and thats technically the main one you need to know. See and what makes this even more dangerous is that. My father is apart of that council. Hes the most powerful witch. or warlock. At homecoming he visited. I said u were a friend. He doesnt believe me. Soon the whole council will know. And theres two out comes, they either kill one of us or both of us. And in this case its both. My father doesnt care for me Dyl, he never has. We need to run, or figure out a way because i cant leave you. I rather die than be without you" i said, i began to cry   I looked at Dyl, and he was silent. He wiped a tear from my cheek and kissed me.   "We will do whatever we can." he promised.   He pulled me into a tight hug... i knew this is just the beginning. I know that the council will come after us... and there is a wa for them not to kill us.... for him to become one of us... questions. Dylans p.o.v   I couldnt sleep that night. I keep thinking of ways to save our relationship, ill do whatever i can. This is all to confusing for me. Her dad, the council member. The strongest witch. I thought id be able to meet her parents and have a normal life. Thats just not possible. I love her. alot. We'll get through this. I turned to look at her, and i noticed that she wasnt sleeping either. She was pretending, but she couldnt hide it because i can tell she was sobbing, and that hurt me. I put my arm around her. She went silent. She didnt like to think of herself as weak. She isnt.   "babe..?' i said hugging her tightly   "yea?" she says, or tried to say.   "Please dont cry, we'll get through this" i knibbled on her ear and i heard her giggle   "Thats the problem. What if we dont. Ill regret it, they wont kill me. Theyll make me suffer with all this, knowing your dead if the worst happpens. I'll kill mys-" i didnt let her finish   "No. If you make it out alive, if this battle starts. I need you to keep going on with your life.. Tell me something. If i made it out alive would you want me to live" i said   "yes b-but you have a reason to, your the first guy i ever loved, you can have plenty of girls..." she said   "but i could never love anybody else." i said   she didnt say anything so i figured it was the end of that. School starts tomorrow and i dont have a good feeling about it.   (Lininsys p.o.v) I pretended to cry to make me look weak, in reality im going to have a plan. I know what to do, i meant everything i said i really did, i am worried. but he cant protect me. I cannot protect him. I have my plan, but it comes in time, i started to cry for real when i had the thought of losing him, even though i knew i'd lose him both ways.     Back to school. (lininsys p.o.v) I woke up to him, i stared at him for like 5 min. straight, i put my hand on his cheek and kissed him shortly on the lips   "babe, wake up..."  i said softly in his ear   "mrrrhmmhm" he groaned   "babe if you dont get up, im gunna have a little fun" i said. I didnt mean it in the way he thought.   "that sounds fun" he barely said.   "mmmk..." and with a snap of my fingers. The bed was wet, and so was he.   "What the hell was that babe. God what'd you do that for" he yelled, i laughed   "Aha hey, you said sounds fun" i laughed, he groaned with his little mad face   He looked at me mad, and i couldnt help but laugh, atleast hes awake, i walked up to him and swung my leg around him and put my hands behind his neck. He was still acting mad, so i kissed him and he kissed me back.   "thought so" i said winking at him   "gosh, this relationship is so not normal" he laughed   We got dressed and he drove me to school, knowing i had my own, but i didnt wanna leave his side. AT ALL. We were hand in hand walking through the halls as usual, girls snickered, guys stared, and i honestly dont know why.   "EH HEM. LININSY GREYWATERS REPORT TO THE OFFICE PLEASE" the loud speaker said   i glanced at Dylan, i had a bad feeling, he walked me to the office and waited outside i can tell he had a bad feeling to.   (Dylans p.o.v) Ive been standing out here for about an hour or so waiting for lizzy, i wonder whats been keeping her so long, i was worried, the bell rang, people were switching classes, i stoood there naturaly as if im normal, aha. Than loreli valenzuela, came up to me poppping her gum, in her short sluty mini skirt, and crop top, swaying her hips, and flipping her hair. Are guys honestly attracted to that. Like god, shes hot, but shes a slut.. maybe its cuz im in love and i just dont care for no one else.   "So wheres the slut of a girl you call your girlfriend" she said.   "eh hem. Look whos calling her a slut, have you taken a look at yourself, you have no respect for your self, dont talk crap about my girl, well listen i dont like you so walk along you ugly whore. I rarely trat girls like this, but you arnt human" i flipped her off and she went red, everyone started laughing.   Lininsy walked out, face pale and straight than she saw Loreli in front of me and she turned evil.   "Listen you slut, stay away from my boyfriend, he doesnt want you hun, back off, i swear and dont touch him, you can give him herpes just by a touch, thats how much of a damn whore you are, i dont care who your daddy is hun, get near my boyfriend ever again, ill beat your ass." Lizzy stared at her hard core and Loreli just smirked.   "im going to wipe that damn smirk offf your face, step away from my boyfriend." she said coldly. the hall went silent and everyone was looking at her ive never seen her so mad before and i know this wasnt just cuz of her.   "Daddys orders lizz. He sent me over here to take him away from you, your daddy doesnt like Dylan-" lininsy cut her off and tackled her to the ground beating on her face and not stoppping, i had to grab her, i know its a bad idea but i grabbed her, but Lizzy wouldnt let go, she got her by the hair and was socking loreli hard in the head, everytime i pulled lininsy back, loreli came with   "YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT MY FATHER YOU BITCH, YOU GOT INVOLVED WITH HIM, THATS YOU AND HIM, DO ME A FUCKIN FAVOR AND TELL MY DAD TO GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY LIFE." Lininsy let go, she straightened out her self and looked at loreli bleeding every where.   "I c-cant do that," she whispered "he'll kill me like he killed your mother" she coughed, me and lininsy only heard cuz we were closest to her, Lizzy ran outta the room and i followed."   (Lininsys, p.o.v) I went into the office   "take a seat" alice, the attendant said and so i did. The princibal walked out.   "Lininsy im very sorry, y-your mother..."   ",my mother what ." i said dryly.   "s-she was murdered. No one knows by who."   i broke into tears, i couldnt i know exactly who did this  hes tryng to make me suffer, hes trying to make my life hell, i stayed in there for about 50 min. Crying and being angry. Than i walked out and saw Loreli the slut of the school trying to flirt with my man and last thing i knew i lost it, and i saw her on the floor bleeding.   "He'll kill me, like he killed your mother"   the words lingered in the air and i stared in shock. I know the truth now, i ran and ran and ran and didnt stop i heard foot steps behing me but i kept running, than he caught me and we both fell on the ground, us both barely breathing in the cold december air, laying on the grass. I cried and cried and he just held me.   "i-im sorry, linins-" i cut him off   "d-dont, he killed her, next hes after you. shes the only family i had, hes gunna go for you, babe.. babe no," i started panicking and i wanted out of his arms   i kicked and punched and the tighter he grabbed me.. I was so lost... my eyes shut.   ..................   A few hours later i held my self together, the grass started to itch, and i knew i wasnt safe out in the open especially with dylan. I noticed a little to late tho.   "D-Dylan?" i asked   nothing. His arms werent wrapped around me any more, i screamed, yelled, every bit of my anger was released. Dont ever fuck with someone i love. I grabbed my cell and called Melony. No answer. I got scared. I transported to her house not caring who saw me, i knowcked loudly, her mom came in and asked me what was wrong, i asked where melony was. Horror. I saw it in her face. She hasnt came home. She thought she was with me. I ran now, and ran and ran to my father. To the council...   (Dylans p.o.v) I wrapped my arms around her, not caring about her kicking and punching. She stopped and she was asleep, i was cradling her, we werent safe, and i sure as hell wasnt gunna leave her like this, i was about to carry her, but fog was all around us, i saw nothing, it got really cold. I began to worry, I stood up with her in my arms. Than poof. She was on the floor again, out cold, deep sleeper, hell yes she was. This pain i felt in my back, i fell to the floor, i cried out   "LIN-" i was cut off by a man. Her father. I couldnt speak. My mouth forced shut.   "Very well boy, i see you know my daughters name. You need to come with me boy, she will wake up soon, we do not need that. Dylan is it?"   i nodded my head, terriefied. I stood up, he grabbed me and we vanished. I felt myself see pure blackness. Publication Date: September 24th 2014 https://www.bookrix.com/-fi200bd15282f35

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-william-shakespeare-all-s-well-that-ends-well/

William Shakespeare All's Well That Ends Well PERSONS REPRESENTED. KING OF FRANCE. THE DUKE OF FLORENCE. BERTRAM, Count of Rousillon. LAFEU, an old Lord. PAROLLES, a follower of Bertram. Several young French Lords, that serve with Bertram in the Florentine War. Steward, Servant to the Countess of Rousillon. Clown, Servant to the Countess of Rousillon. A Page, Servant to the Countess of Rousillon. COUNTESS OF ROUSILLON, Mother to Bertram. HELENA, a Gentlewoman protected by the Countess. An old Widow of Florence. DIANA, daughter to the Widow. VIOLENTA, neighbour and friend to the Widow. MARIANA, neighbour and friend to the Widow. Lords attending on the KING; Officers; Soldiers, &c., French and Florentine. SCENE: Partly in France, and partly in Tuscany. ACT I. SCENE 1. Rousillon. A room in the COUNTESS'S palace. [Enter BERTRAM, the COUNTESS OF ROUSILLON, HELENA, and LAFEU, all in black.] COUNTESS. In delivering my son from me, I bury a second husband. BERTRAM. And I in going, madam, weep o'er my father's death anew; but I must attend his majesty's command, to whom I am now in ward, evermore in subjection. LAFEU. You shall find of the king a husband, madam;--you, sir, a father: he that so generally is at all times good, must of necessity hold his virtue to you; whose worthiness would stir it up where it wanted, rather than lack it where there is such abundance. COUNTESS. What hope is there of his majesty's amendment? LAFEU. He hath abandoned his physicians, madam; under whose practices he hath persecuted time with hope; and finds no other advantage in the process but only the losing of hope by time. COUNTESS. This young gentlewoman had a father--O, that 'had!' how sad a passage 'tis!--whose skill was almost as great as his honesty; had it stretched so far, would have made nature immortal, and death should have play for lack of work. Would, for the king's sake, he were living! I think it would be the death of the king's disease. LAFEU. How called you the man you speak of, madam? COUNTESS. He was famous, sir, in his profession, and it was his great right to be so--Gerard de Narbon. LAFEU. He was excellent indeed, madam; the king very lately spoke of him admiringly and mourningly; he was skilful enough to have liv'd still, if knowledge could be set up against mortality. BERTRAM. What is it, my good lord, the king languishes of? LAFEU. A fistula, my lord. BERTRAM. I heard not of it before. LAFEU. I would it were not notorious.--Was this gentlewoman the daughter of Gerard de Narbon? COUNTESS. His sole child, my lord, and bequeathed to my overlooking. I have those hopes of her good that her education promises; her dispositions she inherits, which makes fair gifts fairer; for where an unclean mind carries virtuous qualities, there commendations go with pity,--they are virtues and traitors too: in her they are the better for their simpleness; she derives her honesty, and achieves her goodness. LAFEU. Your commendations, madam, get from her tears. COUNTESS. 'Tis the best brine a maiden can season her praise in. The remembrance of her father never approaches her heart but the tyranny of her sorrows takes all livelihood from her cheek. No more of this, Helena,--go to, no more, lest it be rather thought you affect a sorrow than to have. HELENA. I do affect a sorrow indeed; but I have it too. LAFEU. Moderate lamentation is the right of the dead; excessive grief the enemy to the living. COUNTESS. If the living be enemy to the grief, the excess makes it soon mortal. BERTRAM. Madam, I desire your holy wishes. LAFEU. How understand we that? COUNTESS. Be thou blest, Bertram, and succeed thy father In manners, as in shape! thy blood and virtue Contend for empire in thee, and thy goodness Share with thy birthright! Love all, trust a few, Do wrong to none: be able for thine enemy Rather in power than use; and keep thy friend Under thy own life's key: be check'd for silence, But never tax'd for speech. What heaven more will, That thee may furnish and my prayers pluck down, Fall on thy head! Farewell.--My lord, 'Tis an unseason'd courtier; good my lord, Advise him. LAFEU. He cannot want the best That shall attend his love. COUNTESS. Heaven bless him!--Farewell, Bertram. [Exit COUNTESS.] BERTRAM. The best wishes that can be forg'd in your thoughts [To HELENA.] be servants to you! Be comfortable to my mother, your mistress, and make much of her. LAFEU. Farewell, pretty lady: you must hold the credit of your father. [Exeunt BERTRAM and LAFEU.] HELENA. O, were that all!--I think not on my father; And these great tears grace his remembrance more Than those I shed for him. What was he like? I have forgot him; my imagination Carries no favour in't but Bertram's. I am undone: there is no living, none, If Bertram be away. It were all one That I should love a bright particular star, And think to wed it, he is so above me: In his bright radiance and collateral light Must I be comforted, not in his sphere. The ambition in my love thus plagues itself: The hind that would be mated by the lion Must die for love. 'Twas pretty, though a plague, To see him every hour; to sit and draw His arched brows, his hawking eye, his curls, In our heart's table,--heart too capable Of every line and trick of his sweet favour: But now he's gone, and my idolatrous fancy Must sanctify his relics. Who comes here? One that goes with him: I love him for his sake; And yet I know him a notorious liar, Think him a great way fool, solely a coward; Yet these fix'd evils sit so fit in him That they take place when virtue's steely bones Looks bleak i' the cold wind: withal, full oft we see Cold wisdom waiting on superfluous folly. [Enter PAROLLES.] PAROLLES. Save you, fair queen! HELENA. And you, monarch! PAROLLES. No. HELENA. And no. PAROLLES. Are you meditating on virginity? HELENA. Ay. You have some stain of soldier in you: let me ask you a question. Man is enemy to virginity; how may we barricado it against him? PAROLLES. Keep him out. HELENA. But he assails; and our virginity, though valiant in the defence, yet is weak: unfold to us some warlike resistance. PAROLLES. There is none: man, setting down before you, will undermine you and blow you up. HELENA. Bless our poor virginity from underminers and blowers-up!--Is there no military policy how virgins might blow up men? PAROLLES. Virginity being blown down, man will quicklier be blown up: marry, in blowing him down again, with the breach yourselves made, you lose your city. It is not politic in the commonwealth of nature to preserve virginity. Loss of virginity is rational increase; and there was never virgin got till virginity was first lost. That you were made of is metal to make virgins. Virginity by being once lost may be ten times found; by being ever kept, it is ever lost: 'tis too cold a companion; away with it! HELENA. I will stand for 't a little, though therefore I die a virgin. PAROLLES. There's little can be said in't; 'tis against the rule of nature. To speak on the part of virginity is to accuse your mothers; which is most infallible disobedience. He that hangs himself is a virgin: virginity murders itself; and should be buried in highways, out of all sanctified limit, as a desperate offendress against nature. Virginity breeds mites, much like a cheese; consumes itself to the very paring, and so dies with feeding his own stomach. Besides, virginity is peevish, proud, idle, made of self-love, which is the most inhibited sin in the canon. Keep it not; you cannot choose but lose by't: out with't! within ten years it will make itself ten, which is a goodly increase; and the principal itself not much the worse: away with it! HELENA. How might one do, sir, to lose it to her own liking? PAROLLES. Let me see: marry, ill to like him that ne'er it likes. 'Tis a commodity will lose the gloss with lying; the longer kept, the less worth: off with't while 'tis vendible; answer the time of request. Virginity, like an old courtier, wears her cap out of fashion; richly suited, but unsuitable: just like the brooch and the toothpick, which wear not now. Your date is better in your pie and your porridge than in your cheek. And your virginity, your old virginity, is like one of our French withered pears; it looks ill, it eats drily; marry, 'tis a wither'd pear; it was formerly better; marry, yet 'tis a wither'd pear. Will you anything with it? HELENA. Not my virginity yet. There shall your master have a thousand loves, A mother, and a mistress, and a friend, A phoenix, captain, and an enemy, A guide, a goddess, and a sovereign, A counsellor, a traitress, and a dear: His humble ambition, proud humility, His jarring concord, and his discord dulcet, His faith, his sweet disaster; with a world Of pretty, fond, adoptious christendoms, That blinking Cupid gossips. Now shall he-- I know not what he shall:--God send him well!-- The court's a learning-place;--and he is one,-- PAROLLES. What one, i' faith? HELENA. That I wish well.--'Tis pity-- PAROLLES. What's pity? HELENA. That wishing well had not a body in't Which might be felt; that we, the poorer born, Whose baser stars do shut us up in wishes, Might with effects of them follow our friends And show what we alone must think; which never Returns us thanks. [Enter a PAGE.] PAGE. Monsieur Parolles, my lord calls for you. [Exit PAGE.] PAROLLES. Little Helen, farewell: if I can remember thee, I will think of thee at court. HELENA. Monsieur Parolles, you were born under a charitable star. PAROLLES. Under Mars, I. HELENA. I especially think, under Mars. PAROLLES. Why under Mars? HELENA. The wars hath so kept you under that you must needs be born under Mars. PAROLLES. When he was predominant. HELENA. When he was retrograde, I think, rather. PAROLLES. Why think you so? HELENA. You go so much backward when you fight. PAROLLES. That's for advantage. HELENA. So is running away, when fear proposes the safety: but the composition that your valour and fear makes in you is a virtue of a good wing, and I like the wear well. PAROLLES. I am so full of business I cannot answer thee acutely. I will return perfect courtier; in the which my instruction shall serve to naturalize thee, so thou wilt be capable of a courtier's counsel, and understand what advice shall thrust upon thee; else thou diest in thine unthankfulness, and thine ignorance makes thee away: farewell. When thou hast leisure, say thy prayers; when thou hast none, remember thy friends: get thee a good husband, and use him as he uses thee: so, farewell. [Exit.] HELENA. Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie, Which we ascribe to heaven: the fated sky Gives us free scope; only doth backward pull Our slow designs when we ourselves are dull. What power is it which mounts my love so high,-- That makes me see, and cannot feed mine eye? The mightiest space in fortune nature brings To join like likes, and kiss like native things. Impossible be strange attempts to those That weigh their pains in sense, and do suppose What hath been cannot be: who ever strove To show her merit that did miss her love? The king's disease,--my project may deceive me, But my intents are fix'd, and will not leave me. [Exit.] SCENE 2. Paris. A room in the King's palace. [Flourish of cornets. Enter the KING OF FRANCE, with letters; Lords and others attending.] KING. The Florentines and Senoys are by the ears; Have fought with equal fortune, and continue A braving war. FIRST LORD. So 'tis reported, sir. KING. Nay, 'tis most credible; we here receive it, A certainty, vouch'd from our cousin Austria, With caution, that the Florentine will move us For speedy aid; wherein our dearest friend Prejudicates the business, and would seem To have us make denial. FIRST LORD. His love and wisdom, Approv'd so to your majesty, may plead For amplest credence. KING. He hath arm'd our answer, And Florence is denied before he comes: Yet, for our gentlemen that mean to see The Tuscan service, freely have they leave To stand on either part. SECOND LORD. It well may serve A nursery to our gentry, who are sick For breathing and exploit. KING. What's he comes here? [Enter BERTRAM, LAFEU, and PAROLLES.] FIRST LORD. It is the Count Rousillon, my good lord, Young Bertram. KING. Youth, thou bear'st thy father's face; Frank nature, rather curious than in haste, Hath well compos'd thee. Thy father's moral parts Mayst thou inherit too! Welcome to Paris. BERTRAM. My thanks and duty are your majesty's. KING. I would I had that corporal soundness now, As when thy father and myself in friendship First tried our soldiership! He did look far Into the service of the time, and was Discipled of the bravest: he lasted long; But on us both did haggish age steal on, And wore us out of act. It much repairs me To talk of your good father. In his youth He had the wit which I can well observe To-day in our young lords; but they may jest Till their own scorn return to them unnoted, Ere they can hide their levity in honour So like a courtier: contempt nor bitterness Were in his pride or sharpness; if they were, His equal had awak'd them; and his honour, Clock to itself, knew the true minute when Exception bid him speak, and at this time His tongue obey'd his hand: who were below him He us'd as creatures of another place; And bow'd his eminent top to their low ranks, Making them proud of his humility, In their poor praise he humbled. Such a man Might be a copy to these younger times; Which, follow'd well, would demonstrate them now But goers backward. BERTRAM. His good remembrance, sir, Lies richer in your thoughts than on his tomb; So in approof lives not his epitaph As in your royal speech. KING. Would I were with him! He would always say,-- Methinks I hear him now; his plausive words He scatter'd not in ears, but grafted them To grow there, and to bear,--'Let me not live,'-- This his good melancholy oft began, On the catastrophe and heel of pastime, When it was out,--'Let me not live' quoth he, 'After my flame lacks oil, to be the snuff Of younger spirits, whose apprehensive senses All but new things disdain; whose judgments are Mere fathers of their garments; whose constancies Expire before their fashions:'--This he wish'd: I, after him, do after him wish too, Since I nor wax nor honey can bring home, I quickly were dissolved from my hive, To give some labourers room. SECOND LORD. You're lov'd, sir; They that least lend it you shall lack you first. KING. I fill a place, I know't.--How long is't, Count, Since the physician at your father's died? He was much fam'd. BERTRAM. Some six months since, my lord. KING. If he were living, I would try him yet;-- Lend me an arm;--the rest have worn me out With several applications:--nature and sickness Debate it at their leisure. Welcome, count; My son's no dearer. BERTRAM. Thank your majesty. [Exeunt. Flourish.] SCENE 3. Rousillon. A Room in the Palace. [Enter COUNTESS, STEWARD, and CLOWN.] COUNTESS. I will now hear: what say you of this gentlewoman? STEWARD. Madam, the care I have had to even your content, I wish might be found in the calendar of my past endeavours; for then we wound our modesty, and make foul the clearness of our deservings, when of ourselves we publish them. COUNTESS. What does this knave here? Get you gone, sirrah: the complaints I have heard of you I do not all believe; 'tis my slowness that I do not; for I know you lack not folly to commit them, and have ability enough to make such knaveries yours. CLOWN. 'Tis not unknown to you, madam, I am a poor fellow. COUNTESS. Well, sir. CLOWN. No, madam, 'tis not so well that I am poor, though many of the rich are damned: but if I may have your ladyship's good will to go to the world, Isbel the woman and I will do as we may. COUNTESS. Wilt thou needs be a beggar? CLOWN. I do beg your good will in this case. COUNTESS. In what case? CLOWN. In Isbel's case and mine own. Service is no heritage: and I think I shall never have the blessing of God till I have issue of my body; for they say bairns are blessings. COUNTESS. Tell me thy reason why thou wilt marry. CLOWN. My poor body, madam, requires it: I am driven on by the flesh; and he must needs go that the devil drives. COUNTESS. Is this all your worship's reason? CLOWN. Faith, madam, I have other holy reasons, such as they are. COUNTESS. May the world know them? CLOWN. I have been, madam, a wicked creature, as you and all flesh and blood are; and, indeed, I do marry that I may repent. COUNTESS. Thy marriage, sooner than thy wickedness. CLOWN. I am out of friends, madam, and I hope to have friends for my wife's sake. COUNTESS. Such friends are thine enemies, knave. CLOWN. Y'are shallow, madam, in great friends: for the knaves come to do that for me which I am a-weary of. He that ears my land spares my team, and gives me leave to in the crop: if I be his cuckold, he's my drudge: he that comforts my wife is the cherisher of my flesh and blood; he that cherishes my flesh and blood loves my flesh and blood; he that loves my flesh and blood is my friend; ergo, he that kisses my wife is my friend. If men could be contented to be what they are, there were no fear in marriage; for young Charbon the puritan and old Poysam the papist, howsome'er their hearts are severed in religion, their heads are both one; they may joll horns together like any deer i' the herd. COUNTESS. Wilt thou ever be a foul-mouth'd and calumnious knave? CLOWN. A prophet I, madam; and I speak the truth the next way: For I the ballad will repeat, Which men full true shall find; Your marriage comes by destiny, Your cuckoo sings by kind. COUNTESS. Get you gone, sir; I'll talk with you more anon. STEWARD. May it please you, madam, that he bid Helen come to you; of her I am to speak. COUNTESS. Sirrah, tell my gentlewoman I would speak with her; Helen I mean. CLOWN. [Sings.] Was this fair face the cause, quoth she Why the Grecians sacked Troy? Fond done, done fond, Was this King Priam's joy? With that she sighed as she stood, With that she sighed as she stood, And gave this sentence then:-- Among nine bad if one be good, Among nine bad if one be good, There's yet one good in ten. COUNTESS. What, one good in ten? you corrupt the song, sirrah. CLOWN. One good woman in ten, madam, which is a purifying o' the song: would God would serve the world so all the year! we'd find no fault with the tithe-woman, if I were the parson: one in ten, quoth 'a! an we might have a good woman born before every blazing star, or at an earthquake, 'twould mend the lottery well: a man may draw his heart out ere he pluck one. COUNTESS. You'll be gone, sir knave, and do as I command you! CLOWN. That man should be at woman's command, and yet no hurt done!-- Though honesty be no puritan, yet it will do no hurt; it will wear the surplice of humility over the black gown of a big heart.--I am going, forsooth:the business is for Helen to come hither. [Exit.] COUNTESS. Well, now. STEWARD. I know, madam, you love your gentlewoman entirely. COUNTESS. Faith I do: her father bequeathed her to me; and she herself, without other advantage, may lawfully make title to as much love as she finds: there is more owing her than is paid; and more shall be paid her than she'll demand. STEWARD. Madam, I was very late more near her than I think she wished me: alone she was, and did communicate to herself her own words to her own ears; she thought, I dare vow for her, they touched not any stranger sense. Her matter was, she loved your son: Fortune, she said, was no goddess, that had put such difference betwixt their two estates; Love no god, that would not extend his might only where qualities were level; Diana no queen of virgins, that would suffer her poor knight surprise, without rescue in the first assault, or ransom afterward. This she delivered in the most bitter touch of sorrow that e'er I heard virgin exclaim in; which I held my duty speedily to acquaint you withal; sithence, in the loss that may happen, it concerns you something to know it. COUNTESS. You have discharged this honestly; keep it to yourself; many likelihoods informed me of this before, which hung so tottering in the balance that I could neither believe nor misdoubt. Pray you leave me: stall this in your bosom; and I thank you for your honest care: I will speak with you further anon. [Exit STEWARD.] Even so it was with me when I was young: If ever we are nature's, these are ours; this thorn Doth to our rose of youth rightly belong; Our blood to us, this to our blood is born; It is the show and seal of nature's truth, Where love's strong passion is impress'd in youth: By our remembrances of days foregone, Such were our faults:--or then we thought them none. [Enter HELENA.] Her eye is sick on't;--I observe her now. HELENA. What is your pleasure, madam? COUNTESS. You know, Helen, I am a mother to you. HELENA. Mine honourable mistress. COUNTESS. Nay, a mother. Why not a mother? When I said a mother, Methought you saw a serpent: what's in mother, That you start at it? I say I am your mother; And put you in the catalogue of those That were enwombed mine. 'Tis often seen Adoption strives with nature; and choice breeds A native slip to us from foreign seeds: You ne'er oppress'd me with a mother's groan, Yet I express to you a mother's care:-- God's mercy, maiden! does it curd thy blood To say I am thy mother? What's the matter, That this distemper'd messenger of wet, The many-colour'd iris, rounds thine eye? Why,--that you are my daughter? HELENA. That I am not. COUNTESS. I say, I am your mother. HELENA. Pardon, madam; The Count Rousillon cannot be my brother: I am from humble, he from honour'd name; No note upon my parents, his all noble; My master, my dear lord he is; and I His servant live, and will his vassal die: He must not be my brother. COUNTESS. Nor I your mother? HELENA. You are my mother, madam; would you were,-- So that my lord your son were not my brother,-- Indeed my mother!--or were you both our mothers, I care no more for than I do for heaven, So I were not his sister. Can't no other, But, I your daughter, he must be my brother? COUNTESS. Yes, Helen, you might be my daughter-in-law: God shield you mean it not! daughter and mother So strive upon your pulse. What! pale again? My fear hath catch'd your fondness: now I see The mystery of your loneliness, and find Your salt tears' head. Now to all sense 'tis gross You love my son; invention is asham'd, Against the proclamation of thy passion, To say thou dost not: therefore tell me true; But tell me then, 'tis so;--for, look, thy cheeks Confess it, one to the other; and thine eyes See it so grossly shown in thy behaviours, That in their kind they speak it; only sin And hellish obstinacy tie thy tongue, That truth should be suspected. Speak, is't so? If it be so, you have wound a goodly clue; If it be not, forswear't: howe'er, I charge thee, As heaven shall work in me for thine avail, To tell me truly. HELENA. Good madam, pardon me! COUNTESS. Do you love my son? HELENA. Your pardon, noble mistress! COUNTESS. Love you my son? HELENA. Do not you love him, madam? COUNTESS. Go not about; my love hath in't a bond Whereof the world takes note: come, come, disclose The state of your affection; for your passions Have to the full appeach'd. HELENA. Then I confess, Here on my knee, before high heaven and you, That before you, and next unto high heaven, I love your son:-- My friends were poor, but honest; so's my love: Be not offended; for it hurts not him That he is lov'd of me: I follow him not By any token of presumptuous suit; Nor would I have him till I do deserve him; Yet never know how that desert should be. I know I love in vain, strive against hope; Yet in this captious and intenible sieve I still pour in the waters of my love, And lack not to lose still: thus, Indian-like, Religious in mine error, I adore The sun, that looks upon his worshipper, But knows of him no more. My dearest madam, Let not your hate encounter with my love, For loving where you do; but if yourself, Whose aged honour cites a virtuous youth, Did ever, in so true a flame of liking, Wish chastely, and love dearly, that your Dian Was both herself and love; O, then, give pity To her whose state is such that cannot choose But lend and give where she is sure to lose; That seeks not to find that her search implies, But, riddle-like, lives sweetly where she dies! COUNTESS. Had you not lately an intent,--speak truly,-- To go to Paris? HELENA. Madam, I had. COUNTESS. Wherefore? tell true. HELENA. I will tell truth; by grace itself I swear. You know my father left me some prescriptions Of rare and prov'd effects, such as his reading And manifest experience had collected For general sovereignty; and that he will'd me In heedfullest reservation to bestow them, As notes whose faculties inclusive were More than they were in note: amongst the rest There is a remedy, approv'd, set down, To cure the desperate languishings whereof The king is render'd lost. COUNTESS. This was your motive For Paris, was it? speak. HELENA. My lord your son made me to think of this; Else Paris, and the medicine, and the king, Had from the conversation of my thoughts Haply been absent then. COUNTESS. But think you, Helen, If you should tender your supposed aid, He would receive it? He and his physicians Are of a mind; he, that they cannot help him; They, that they cannot help: how shall they credit A poor unlearned virgin, when the schools, Embowell'd of their doctrine, have let off The danger to itself? HELENA. There's something in't More than my father's skill, which was the greatest Of his profession, that his good receipt Shall, for my legacy, be sanctified By th' luckiest stars in heaven: and, would your honour But give me leave to try success, I'd venture The well-lost life of mine on his grace's cure. By such a day and hour. COUNTESS. Dost thou believe't? HELENA. Ay, madam, knowingly. COUNTESS. Why, Helen, thou shalt have my leave, and love, Means, and attendants, and my loving greetings To those of mine in court: I'll stay at home, And pray God's blessing into thy attempt: Be gone to-morrow; and be sure of this, What I can help thee to thou shalt not miss. [Exeunt.] ACT II. SCENE 1. Paris. A room in the King's palace. [Flourish. Enter the King, with young LORDS taking leave for the Florentine war; BERTRAM, PAROLLES, and Attendants.] KING. Farewell, young lord; these war-like principles Do not throw from you:--and you, my lord, farewell;-- Share the advice betwixt you; if both gain all, The gift doth stretch itself as 'tis received, And is enough for both. FIRST LORD. It is our hope, sir, After well-enter'd soldiers, to return And find your grace in health. KING. No, no, it cannot be; and yet my heart Will not confess he owes the malady That doth my life besiege. Farewell, young lords; Whether I live or die, be you the sons Of worthy Frenchmen; let higher Italy,-- Those bated that inherit but the fall Of the last monarchy,--see that you come Not to woo honour, but to wed it; when The bravest questant shrinks, find what you seek, That fame may cry you aloud: I say farewell. SECOND LORD. Health, at your bidding, serve your majesty! KING. Those girls of Italy, take heed of them; They say our French lack language to deny, If they demand: beware of being captives Before you serve. BOTH. Our hearts receive your warnings. KING. Farewell.--Come hither to me. [The king retires to a couch.] FIRST LORD. O my sweet lord, that you will stay behind us! PAROLLES. 'Tis not his fault; the spark-- SECOND LORD. O, 'tis brave wars! PAROLLES. Most admirable: I have seen those wars. BERTRAM. I am commanded here and kept a coil with, 'Too young' and next year' and ''tis too early.' PAROLLES. An thy mind stand to it, boy, steal away bravely. BERTRAM. I shall stay here the forehorse to a smock, Creaking my shoes on the plain masonry, Till honour be bought up, and no sword worn But one to dance with! By heaven, I'll steal away. FIRST LORD. There's honour in the theft. PAROLLES. Commit it, count. SECOND LORD. I am your accessary; and so farewell. BERTRAM. I grow to you, and our parting is a tortured body. FIRST LORD. Farewell, captain. SECOND LORD. Sweet Monsieur Parolles! PAROLLES. Noble heroes, my sword and yours are kin. Good sparks and lustrous, a word, good metals.--You shall find in the regiment of the Spinii one Captain Spurio, with his cicatrice, an emblem of war, here on his sinister cheek; it was this very sword entrenched it: say to him I live; and observe his reports for me. FIRST LORD. We shall, noble captain. PAROLLES. Mars dote on you for his novices! [Exeunt LORDS.] What will ye do? BERTRAM. Stay; the king-- PAROLLES. Use a more spacious ceremony to the noble lords; you have restrained yourself within the list of too cold an adieu: be more expressive to them; for they wear themselves in the cap of the time; there do muster true gait; eat, speak, and move, under the influence of the most received star; and though the devil lead the measure, such are to be followed: after them, and take a more dilated farewell. BERTRAM. And I will do so. PAROLLES. Worthy fellows; and like to prove most sinewy sword-men. [Exeunt BERTRAM and PAROLLES.] [Enter LAFEU.] LAFEU. Pardon, my lord [kneeling], for me and for my tidings. KING. I'll fee thee to stand up. LAFEU. Then here's a man stands that has bought his pardon. I would you had kneel'd, my lord, to ask me mercy; And that at my bidding you could so stand up. KING. I would I had; so I had broke thy pate, And ask'd thee mercy for't. LAFEU. Good faith, across; But, my good lord, 'tis thus: will you be cured Of your infirmity? KING. No. LAFEU. O, will you eat No grapes, my royal fox? yes, but you will My noble grapes, and if my royal fox Could reach them: I have seen a medicine That's able to breathe life into a stone, Quicken a rock, and make you dance canary With spritely fire and motion; whose simple touch Is powerful to araise King Pipin, nay, To give great Charlemain a pen in his hand And write to her a love-line. KING. What 'her' is that? LAFEU. Why, doctor 'she': my lord, there's one arriv'd, If you will see her,--now, by my faith and honour, If seriously I may convey my thoughts In this my light deliverance, I have spoke With one that in her sex, her years, profession, Wisdom, and constancy, hath amaz'd me more Than I dare blame my weakness: will you see her,-- For that is her demand,--and know her business? That done, laugh well at me. KING. Now, good Lafeu, Bring in the admiration; that we with the May spend our wonder too, or take off thine By wondering how thou took'st it. LAFEU. Nay, I'll fit you, And not be all day neither. [Exit LAFEU.] KING. Thus he his special nothing ever prologues. [Re-enter LAFEU with HELENA.] LAFEU. Nay, come your ways. KING. This haste hath wings indeed. LAFEU. Nay, come your ways; This is his majesty: say your mind to him. A traitor you do look like; but such traitors His majesty seldom fears: I am Cressid's uncle, That dare leave two together: fare you well. [Exit.] KING. Now, fair one, does your business follow us? HELENA. Ay, my good lord. Gerard de Narbon was My father; in what he did profess, well found. KING. I knew him. HELENA. The rather will I spare my praises towards him. Knowing him is enough. On his bed of death Many receipts he gave me; chiefly one, Which, as the dearest issue of his practice, And of his old experience the only darling, He bade me store up as a triple eye, Safer than mine own two, more dear: I have so: And, hearing your high majesty is touch'd With that malignant cause wherein the honour Of my dear father's gift stands chief in power, I come to tender it, and my appliance, With all bound humbleness. KING. We thank you, maiden: But may not be so credulous of cure,-- When our most learned doctors leave us, and The congregated college have concluded That labouring art can never ransom nature From her inaidable estate,--I say we must not So stain our judgment, or corrupt our hope, To prostitute our past-cure malady To empirics; or to dissever so Our great self and our credit, to esteem A senseless help, when help past sense we deem. HELENA. My duty, then, shall pay me for my pains: I will no more enforce mine office on you; Humbly entreating from your royal thoughts A modest one to bear me back again. KING. I cannot give thee less, to be call'd grateful. Thou thought'st to help me; and such thanks I give As one near death to those that wish him live: But what at full I know, thou know'st no part; I knowing all my peril, thou no art. HELENA. What I can do can do no hurt to try, Since you set up your rest 'gainst remedy. He that of greatest works is finisher Oft does them by the weakest minister: So holy writ in babes hath judgment shown, When judges have been babes. Great floods have flown From simple sources; and great seas have dried When miracles have by the greatest been denied. Oft expectation fails, and most oft there Where most it promises; and oft it hits Where hope is coldest, and despair most fits. KING. I must not hear thee: fare thee well, kind maid; Thy pains, not used, must by thyself be paid: Proffers, not took, reap thanks for their reward. HELENA. Inspired merit so by breath is barred: It is not so with Him that all things knows, As 'tis with us that square our guess by shows: But most it is presumption in us when The help of heaven we count the act of men. Dear sir, to my endeavours give consent: Of heaven, not me, make an experiment. I am not an impostor, that proclaim Myself against the level of mine aim; But know I think, and think I know most sure, My art is not past power nor you past cure. KING. Art thou so confident? Within what space Hop'st thou my cure? HELENA. The greatest grace lending grace. Ere twice the horses of the sun shall bring Their fiery torcher his diurnal ring; Ere twice in murk and occidental damp Moist Hesperus hath quench'd his sleepy lamp; Or four-and-twenty times the pilot's glass Hath told the thievish minutes how they pass; What is infirm from your sound parts shall fly, Health shall live free, and sickness freely die. KING. Upon thy certainty and confidence What dar'st thou venture? HELENA. Tax of impudence,-- A strumpet's boldness, a divulged shame,-- Traduc'd by odious ballads; my maiden's name Sear'd otherwise; ne worse of worst extended, With vilest torture let my life be ended. KING. Methinks in thee some blessed spirit doth speak; His powerful sound within an organ weak: And what impossibility would slay In common sense, sense saves another way. Thy life is dear; for all that life can rate Worth name of life in thee hath estimate: Youth, beauty, wisdom, courage, all That happiness and prime can happy call; Thou this to hazard needs must intimate Skill infinite or monstrous desperate. Sweet practiser, thy physic I will try: That ministers thine own death if I die. HELENA. If I break time, or flinch in property Of what I spoke, unpitied let me die; And well deserv'd. Not helping, death's my fee; But, if I help, what do you promise me? KING. Make thy demand. HELENA. But will you make it even? KING. Ay, by my sceptre and my hopes of heaven. HELENA. Then shalt thou give me, with thy kingly hand What husband in thy power I will command: Exempted be from me the arrogance To choose from forth the royal blood of France, My low and humble name to propagate With any branch or image of thy state: But such a one, thy vassal, whom I know Is free for me to ask, thee to bestow. KING. Here is my hand; the premises observ'd, Thy will by my performance shall be serv'd; So make the choice of thy own time, for I, Thy resolv'd patient, on thee still rely. More should I question thee, and more I must,-- Though more to know could not be more to trust,-- From whence thou cam'st, how tended on.--But rest Unquestion'd welcome and undoubted blest.-- Give me some help here, ho!--If thou proceed As high as word, my deed shall match thy deed. [Flourish. Exeunt.] SCENE 2. Rousillon. A room in the COUNTESS'S palace. [Enter COUNTESS and CLOWN.] COUNTESS. Come on, sir; I shall now put you to the height of your breeding. CLOWN. I will show myself highly fed and lowly taught: I know my business is but to the court. COUNTESS. To the court! why, what place make you special, when you put off that with such contempt? But to the court! CLOWN. Truly, madam, if God have lent a man any manners, he may easily put it off at court: he that cannot make a leg, put off's cap, kiss his hand, and say nothing, has neither leg, hands, lip, nor cap; and indeed such a fellow, to say precisely, were not for the court; but for me, I have an answer will serve all men. COUNTESS. Marry, that's a bountiful answer that fits all questions. CLOWN. It is like a barber's chair, that fits all buttocks--the pin- buttock, the quatch-buttock, the brawn-buttock, or any buttock. COUNTESS. Will your answer serve fit to all questions? CLOWN. As fit as ten groats is for the hand of an attorney, as your French crown for your taffety punk, as Tib's rush for Tom's forefinger, as a pancake for Shrove-Tuesday, a morris for Mayday, as the nail to his hole, the cuckold to his horn, as a scolding quean to a wrangling knave, as the nun's lip to the friar's mouth; nay, as the pudding to his skin. COUNTESS. Have you, I, say, an answer of such fitness for all questions? CLOWN. From below your duke to beneath your constable, it will fit any question. COUNTESS. It must be an answer of most monstrous size that must fit all demands. CLOWN. But a trifle neither, in good faith, if the learned should speak truth of it: here it is, and all that belongs to't. Ask me if I am a courtier: it shall do you no harm to learn. COUNTESS. To be young again, if we could: I will be a fool in question, hoping to be the wiser by your answer. I pray you, sir, are you a courtier? CLOWN. O Lord, sir!--There's a simple putting off. More, more, a hundred of them. COUNTESS. Sir, I am a poor friend of yours, that loves you. CLOWN. O Lord, sir!--Thick, thick; spare not me. COUNTESS. I think, sir, you can eat none of this homely meat. CLOWN. O Lord, sir!--Nay, put me to't, I warrant you. COUNTESS. You were lately whipped, sir, as I think. CLOWN. O Lord, sir!--Spare not me. COUNTESS. Do you cry 'O Lord, sir!' at your whipping, and 'spare not me'? Indeed your 'O Lord, sir!' is very sequent to your whipping. You would answer very well to a whipping, if you were but bound to't. CLOWN. I ne'er had worse luck in my life in my--'O Lord, sir!' I see thing's may serve long, but not serve ever. COUNTESS. I play the noble housewife with the time, to entertain it so merrily with a fool. CLOWN. O Lord, sir!--Why, there't serves well again. COUNTESS. An end, sir! To your business. Give Helen this, And urge her to a present answer back: Commend me to my kinsmen and my son: This is not much. CLOWN. Not much commendation to them. COUNTESS. Not much employment for you: you understand me? CLOWN. Most fruitfully: I am there before my legs. COUNTESS. Haste you again. [Exeunt severally.] SCENE 3. Paris. The KING'S palace. [Enter BERTRAM, LAFEU, and PAROLLES.] LAFEU. They say miracles are past; and we have our philosophical persons to make modern and familiar things supernatural and causeless. Hence is it that we make trifles of terrors, ensconcing ourselves into seeming knowledge when we should submit ourselves to an unknown fear. PAROLLES. Why, 'tis the rarest argument of wonder that hath shot out in our latter times. BERTRAM. And so 'tis. LAFEU. To be relinquish'd of the artists,-- PAROLLES. So I say; both of Galen and Paracelsus. LAFEU. Of all the learned and authentic fellows,-- PAROLLES. Right; so I say. LAFEU. That gave him out incurable,-- PAROLLES. Why, there 'tis; so say I too. LAFEU. Not to be helped,-- PAROLLES. Right; as 'twere a man assured of a,-- LAFEU. Uncertain life and sure death. PAROLLES. Just; you say well: so would I have said. LAFEU. I may truly say, it is a novelty to the world. PAROLLES. It is indeed: if you will have it in showing, you shall read it in,--What do you call there?-- LAFEU. A showing of a heavenly effect in an earthly actor. PAROLLES. That's it; I would have said the very same. LAFEU. Why, your dolphin is not lustier: 'fore me, I speak in respect,-- PAROLLES. Nay, 'tis strange, 'tis very strange; that is the brief and the tedious of it; and he's of a most facinerious spirit that will not acknowledge it to be the,-- LAFEU. Very hand of heaven. PAROLLES. Ay; so I say. LAFEU. In a most weak,-- PAROLLES. And debile minister, great power, great transcendence: which should, indeed, give us a further use to be made than alone the recov'ry of the king, as to be,-- LAFEU. Generally thankful. PAROLLES. I would have said it; you say well. Here comes the king. [Enter KING, HELENA, and Attendants.] LAFEU. Lustic, as the Dutchman says: I'll like a maid the better, whilst I have a tooth in my head: why, he's able to lead her a coranto. PAROLLES. 'Mort du vinaigre!' is not this Helen? LAFEU. 'Fore God, I think so. KING. Go, call before me all the lords in court.-- [Exit an Attendant.] Sit, my preserver, by thy patient's side; And with this healthful hand, whose banish'd sense Thou has repeal'd, a second time receive The confirmation of my promis'd gift, Which but attends thy naming. [Enter severaol Lords.] Fair maid, send forth thine eye: this youthful parcel Of noble bachelors stand at my bestowing, O'er whom both sovereign power and father's voice I have to use: thy frank election make; Thou hast power to choose, and they none to forsake. HELENA. To each of you one fair and virtuous mistress Fall, when love please!--marry, to each, but one! LAFEU. I'd give bay Curtal and his furniture, My mouth no more were broken than these boys', And writ as little beard. KING. Peruse them well: Not one of those but had a noble father. HELENA. Gentlemen, Heaven hath through me restor'd the king to health. ALL. We understand it, and thank heaven for you. HELENA. I am a simple maid, and therein wealthiest That I protest I simply am a maid.-- Please it, your majesty, I have done already: The blushes in my cheeks thus whisper me-- 'We blush that thou shouldst choose; but, be refus'd, Let the white death sit on thy cheek for ever; We'll ne'er come there again.' KING. Make choice; and, see: Who shuns thy love shuns all his love in me. HELENA. Now, Dian, from thy altar do I fly, And to imperial Love, that god most high, Do my sighs stream.--Sir, will you hear my suit? FIRST LORD. And grant it. HELENA. Thanks, sir; all the rest is mute. LAFEU. I had rather be in this choice than throw ames-ace for my life. HELENA. The honour, sir, that flames in your fair eyes, Before I speak, too threateningly replies: Love make your fortunes twenty times above Her that so wishes, and her humble love! SECOND LORD. No better, if you please. HELENA. My wish receive, Which great Love grant; and so I take my leave. LAFEU. Do all they deny her? An they were sons of mine I'd have them whipped; or I would send them to the Turk to make eunuchs of. HELENA. [To third Lord.] Be not afraid that I your hand should take; I'll never do you wrong for your own sake: Blessing upon your vows! and in your bed Find fairer fortune, if you ever wed! LAFEU. These boys are boys of ice: they'll none have her: Sure, they are bastards to the English; the French ne'er got 'em. HELENA. You are too young, too happy, and too good, To make yourself a son out of my blood. FOURTH LORD. Fair one, I think not so. LAFEU. There's one grape yet,--I am sure thy father drank wine.--But if thou beest not an ass, I am a youth of fourteen; I have known thee already. HELENA. [To BERTRAM.] I dare not say I take you; but I give Me and my service, ever whilst I live, Into your guiding power.--This is the man. KING. Why, then, young Bertram, take her; she's thy wife. BERTRAM. My wife, my liege! I shall beseech your highness, In such a business give me leave to use The help of mine own eyes. KING. Know'st thou not, Bertram, What she has done for me? BERTRAM. Yes, my good lord; But never hope to know why I should marry her. KING. Thou know'st she has rais'd me from my sickly bed. BERTRAM. But follows it, my lord, to bring me down Must answer for your raising? I know her well; She had her breeding at my father's charge: A poor physician's daughter my wife!--Disdain Rather corrupt me ever! KING. 'Tis only title thou disdain'st in her, the which I can build up. Strange is it that our bloods, Of colour, weight, and heat, pour'd all together, Would quite confound distinction, yet stand off In differences so mighty. If she be All that is virtuous,--save what thou dislik'st, A poor physician's daughter,--thou dislik'st Of virtue for the name: but do not so: From lowest place when virtuous things proceed, The place is dignified by the doer's deed: Where great additions swell's, and virtue none, It is a dropsied honour: good alone Is good without a name; vileness is so: The property by what it is should go, Not by the title. She is young, wise, fair; In these to nature she's immediate heir; And these breed honour: that is honour's scorn Which challenges itself as honour's born, And is not like the sire: honours thrive When rather from our acts we them derive Than our fore-goers: the mere word's a slave, Debauch'd on every tomb; on every grave A lying trophy; and as oft is dumb Where dust and damn'd oblivion is the tomb Of honour'd bones indeed. What should be said? If thou canst like this creature as a maid, I can create the rest: virtue and she Is her own dower; honour and wealth from me. BERTRAM. I cannot love her, nor will strive to do 't. KING. Thou wrong'st thyself, if thou shouldst strive to choose. HELENA. That you are well restor'd, my lord, I am glad: Let the rest go. KING. My honour's at the stake; which to defeat, I must produce my power. Here, take her hand, Proud scornful boy, unworthy this good gift; That dost in vile misprision shackle up My love and her desert; that canst not dream We, poising us in her defective scale, Shall weigh thee to the beam; that wilt not know It is in us to plant thine honour where We please to have it grow. Check thy contempt: Obey our will, which travails in thy good; Believe not thy disdain, but presently Do thine own fortunes that obedient right Which both thy duty owes and our power claims Or I will throw thee from my care for ever, Into the staggers and the careless lapse Of youth and ignorance; both my revenge and hate Loosing upon thee in the name of justice, Without all terms of pity. Speak! thine answer! BERTRAM. Pardon, my gracious lord; for I submit My fancy to your eyes: when I consider What great creation, and what dole of honour Flies where you bid it, I find that she, which late Was in my nobler thoughts most base, is now The praised of the king; who, so ennobled, Is as 'twere born so. KING. Take her by the hand, And tell her she is thine: to whom I promise A counterpoise; if not to thy estate, A balance more replete. BERTRAM. I take her hand. KING. Good fortune and the favour of the king Smile upon this contract; whose ceremony Shall seem expedient on the now-born brief, And be perform'd to-night: the solemn feast Shall more attend upon the coming space, Expecting absent friends. As thou lov'st her, Thy love's to me religious; else, does err. [Exeunt KING, BERTAM, HELENA, Lords, and Attendants.] LAFEU. Do you hear, monsieur? a word with you. PAROLLES. Your pleasure, sir? LAFEU. Your lord and master did well to make his recantation. PAROLLES. Recantation!--my lord! my master! LAFEU. Ay; is it not a language I speak? PAROLLES. A most harsh one, and not to be understood without bloody succeeding. My master! LAFEU. Are you companion to the Count Rousillon? PAROLLES. To any count; to all counts; to what is man. LAFEU. To what is count's man: count's master is of another style. PAROLLES. You are too old, sir; let it satisfy you, you are too old. LAFEU. I must tell thee, sirrah, I write man; to which title age cannot bring thee. PAROLLES. What I dare too well do, I dare not do. LAFEU. I did think thee, for two ordinaries, to be a pretty wise fellow; thou didst make tolerable vent of thy travel; it might pass: yet the scarfs and the bannerets about thee did manifoldly dissuade me from believing thee a vessel of too great a burden. I have now found thee; when I lose thee again I care not: yet art thou good for nothing but taking up; and that thou art scarce worth. PAROLLES. Hadst thou not the privilege of antiquity upon thee,-- LAFEU. Do not plunge thyself too far in anger, lest thou hasten thy trial; which if--Lord have mercy on thee for a hen! So, my good window of lattice, fare thee well: thy casement I need not open, for I look through thee. Give me thy hand. PAROLLES. My lord, you give me most egregious indignity. LAFEU. Ay, with all my heart; and thou art worthy of it. PAROLLES. I have not, my lord, deserved it. LAFEU. Yes, good faith, every dram of it: and I will not bate thee a scruple. PAROLLES. Well, I shall be wiser. LAFEU. E'en as soon as thou canst, for thou hast to pull at a smack o' th' contrary. If ever thou beest bound in thy scarf and beaten, thou shalt find what it is to be proud of thy bondage. I have a desire to hold my acquaintance with thee, or rather my knowledge, that I may say in the default, he is a man I know. PAROLLES. My lord, you do me most insupportable vexation. LAFEU. I would it were hell-pains for thy sake, and my poor doing eternal: for doing I am past; as I will by thee, in what motion age will give me leave. [Exit.] PAROLLES. Well, thou hast a son shall take this disgrace off me; scurvy, old, filthy, scurvy lord!--Well, I must be patient; there is no fettering of authority. I'll beat him, by my life, if I can meet him with any convenience, an he were double and double a lord. I'll have no more pity of his age than I would have of-- I'll beat him, an if I could but meet him again. [Re-enter LAFEU.] LAFEU. Sirrah, your lord and master's married; there's news for you; you have a new mistress. PAROLLES. I most unfeignedly beseech your lordship to make some reservation of your wrongs: he is my good lord: whom I serve above is my master. LAFEU. Who? God? PAROLLES. Ay, sir. LAFEU. The devil it is that's thy master. Why dost thou garter up thy arms o' this fashion? dost make hose of thy sleeves? do other servants so? Thou wert best set thy lower part where thy nose stands. By mine honour, if I were but two hours younger, I'd beat thee: methink'st thou art a general offence, and every man should beat thee. I think thou wast created for men to breathe themselves upon thee. PAROLLES. This is hard and undeserved measure, my lord. LAFEU. Go to, sir; you were beaten in Italy for picking a kernel out of a pomegranate; you are a vagabond, and no true traveller: you are more saucy with lords and honourable personages than the heraldry of your birth and virtue gives you commission. You are not worth another word, else I'd call you knave. I leave you. [Exit.] PAROLLES. Good, very good, it is so then.--Good, very good; let it be concealed awhile. [Enter BERTRAM.] BERTRAM. Undone, and forfeited to cares for ever! PAROLLES. What's the matter, sweet heart? BERTRAM. Although before the solemn priest I have sworn, I will not bed her. PAROLLES. What, what, sweet heart? BERTRAM. O my Parolles, they have married me!-- I'll to the Tuscan wars, and never bed her. PAROLLES. France is a dog-hole, and it no more merits The tread of a man's foot:--to the wars! BERTRAM. There's letters from my mother; what the import is I know not yet. PAROLLES. Ay, that would be known. To the wars, my boy, to the wars! He wears his honour in a box unseen That hugs his kicksy-wicksy here at home, Spending his manly marrow in her arms, Which should sustain the bound and high curvet Of Mars's fiery steed. To other regions! France is a stable; we that dwell in't, jades; Therefore, to the war! BERTRAM. It shall be so; I'll send her to my house, Acquaint my mother with my hate to her, And wherefore I am fled; write to the king That which I durst not speak: his present gift Shall furnish me to those Italian fields Where noble fellows strike: war is no strife To the dark house and the detested wife. PAROLLES. Will this caprichio hold in thee, art sure? BERTRAM. Go with me to my chamber and advise me. I'll send her straight away: to-morrow I'll to the wars, she to her single sorrow. PAROLLES. Why, these balls bound; there's noise in it. 'Tis hard: A young man married is a man that's marr'd: Therefore away, and leave her bravely; go: The king has done you wrong: but, hush, 'tis so. [Exeunt.] SCENE 4. The same. Another room in the same. [Enter HELENA and CLOWN.] HELENA. My mother greets me kindly: is she well? CLOWN. She is not well, but yet she has her health: she's very merry, but yet she is not well: but thanks be given, she's very well, and wants nothing i' the world; but yet she is not well. HELENA. If she be very well, what does she ail that she's not very well? CLOWN. Truly, she's very well indeed, but for two things. HELENA. What two things? CLOWN. One, that she's not in heaven, whither God send her quickly! The other, that she's in earth, from whence God send her quickly! [Enter PAROLLES.] PAROLLES. Bless you, my fortunate lady! HELENA. I hope, sir, I have your good will to have mine own good fortunes. PAROLLES. You had my prayers to lead them on; and to keep them on, have them still. O, my knave,--how does my old lady? CLOWN. So that you had her wrinkles and I her money, I would she did as you say. PAROLLES. Why, I say nothing. CLOWN. Marry, you are the wiser man; for many a man's tongue shakes out his master's undoing: to say nothing, to do nothing, to know nothing, and to have nothing, is to be a great part of your title; which is within a very little of nothing. PAROLLES. Away! thou art a knave. CLOWN. You should have said, sir, before a knave thou art a knave; that is before me thou art a knave: this had been truth, sir. PAROLLES. Go to, thou art a witty fool; I have found thee. CLOWN. Did you find me in yourself, sir? or were you taught to find me? The search, sir, was profitable; and much fool may you find in you, even to the world's pleasure and the increase of laughter. PAROLLES. A good knave, i' faith, and well fed.-- Madam, my lord will go away to-night: A very serious business calls on him. The great prerogative and right of love, Which, as your due, time claims, he does acknowledge; But puts it off to a compell'd restraint; Whose want, and whose delay, is strew'd with sweets; Which they distil now in the curbed time, To make the coming hour o'erflow with joy And pleasure drown the brim. HELENA. What's his will else? PAROLLES. That you will take your instant leave o' the king, And make this haste as your own good proceeding, Strengthen'd with what apology you think May make it probable need. HELENA. What more commands he? PAROLLES. That, having this obtain'd, you presently Attend his further pleasure. HELENA. In everything I wait upon his will. PAROLLES. I shall report it so. HELENA. I pray you.--Come, sirrah. [Exeunt.] SCENE 5. Another room in the same. [Enter LAFEU and BERTRAM.] LAFEU. But I hope your lordship thinks not him a soldier. BERTRAM. Yes, my lord, and of very valiant approof. LAFEU. You have it from his own deliverance. BERTRAM. And by other warranted testimony. LAFEU. Then my dial goes not true: I took this lark for a bunting. BERTRAM. I do assure you, my lord, he is very great in knowledge, and accordingly valiant. LAFEU. I have, then, sinned against his experience and transgressed against his valour; and my state that way is dangerous, since I cannot yet find in my heart to repent. Here he comes; I pray you make us friends; I will pursue the amity [Enter PAROLLES.] PAROLLES. [To BERTRAM.] These things shall be done, sir. LAFEU. Pray you, sir, who's his tailor? PAROLLES. Sir! LAFEU. O, I know him well, I, sir; he, sir, is a good workman, a very good tailor. BERTRAM. [Aside to PAROLLES.] Is she gone to the king? PAROLLES. She is. BERTRAM. Will she away to-night? PAROLLES. As you'll have her. BERTRAM. I have writ my letters, casketed my treasure, Given order for our horses; and to-night, When I should take possession of the bride, End ere I do begin. LAFEU. A good traveller is something at the latter end of a dinner; but one that lies three-thirds and uses a known truth to pass a thousand nothings with, should be once heard and thrice beaten.-- God save you, Captain. BERTRAM. Is there any unkindness between my lord and you, monsieur? PAROLLES. I know not how I have deserved to run into my lord's displeasure. LAFEU. You have made shift to run into 't, boots and spurs and all, like him that leapt into the custard; and out of it you'll run again, rather than suffer question for your residence. BERTRAM. It may be you have mistaken him, my lord. LAFEU. And shall do so ever, though I took him at his prayers. Fare you well, my lord; and believe this of me, there can be no kernal in this light nut; the soul of this man is his clothes; trust him not in matter of heavy consequence; I have kept of them tame, and know their natures.--Farewell, monsieur; I have spoken better of you than you have or will to deserve at my hand; but we must do good against evil. [Exit.] PAROLLES. An idle lord, I swear. BERTRAM. I think so. PAROLLES. Why, do you not know him? BERTRAM. Yes, I do know him well; and common speech Gives him a worthy pass. Here comes my clog. [Enter HELENA.] HELENA. I have, sir, as I was commanded from you, Spoke with the king, and have procur'd his leave For present parting; only he desires Some private speech with you. BERTRAM. I shall obey his will. You must not marvel, Helen, at my course, Which holds not colour with the time, nor does The ministration and required office On my particular. Prepared I was not For such a business; therefore am I found So much unsettled: this drives me to entreat you: That presently you take your way for home, And rather muse than ask why I entreat you: For my respects are better than they seem; And my appointments have in them a need Greater than shows itself at the first view To you that know them not. This to my mother: [Giving a letter.] 'Twill be two days ere I shall see you; so I leave you to your wisdom. HELENA. Sir, I can nothing say But that I am your most obedient servant. BERTRAM. Come, come, no more of that. HELENA. And ever shall With true observance seek to eke out that Wherein toward me my homely stars have fail'd To equal my great fortune. BERTRAM. Let that go: My haste is very great. Farewell; hie home. HELENA. Pray, sir, your pardon. BERTRAM. Well, what would you say? HELENA. I am not worthy of the wealth I owe; Nor dare I say 'tis mine, and yet it is; But, like a timorous thief, most fain would steal What law does vouch mine own. BERTRAM. What would you have? HELENA. Something; and scarce so much:--nothing, indeed.-- I would not tell you what I would, my lord:--Faith, yes;-- Strangers and foes do sunder and not kiss. BERTRAM. I pray you, stay not, but in haste to horse. HELENA. I shall not break your bidding, good my lord. BERTRAM. Where are my other men, monsieur?-- Farewell, [Exit HELENA.] Go thou toward home, where I will never come Whilst I can shake my sword or hear the drum:-- Away, and for our flight. PAROLLES. Bravely, coragio! [Exeunt.] ACT III. SCENE 1. Florence. A room in the DUKE's palace. [Flourish. Enter the DUKE OF FLORENCE, attended; two French Lords, and Soldiers.] DUKE. So that, from point to point, now have you heard The fundamental reasons of this war; Whose great decision hath much blood let forth, And more thirsts after. FIRST LORD. Holy seems the quarrel Upon your grace's part; black and fearful On the opposer. DUKE. Therefore we marvel much our cousin France Would, in so just a business, shut his bosom Against our borrowing prayers. SECOND LORD. Good my lord, The reasons of our state I cannot yield, But like a common and an outward man That the great figure of a council frames By self-unable motion; therefore dare not Say what I think of it, since I have found Myself in my incertain grounds to fail As often as I guess'd. DUKE. Be it his pleasure. FIRST LORD. But I am sure the younger of our nature, That surfeit on their ease, will day by day Come here for physic. DUKE. Welcome shall they be; And all the honours that can fly from us Shall on them settle. You know your places well; When better fall, for your avails they fell: To-morrow to th' field. [Flourish. Exeunt.] SCENE 2. Rousillon. A room in the COUNTESS'S palace. [Enter COUNTESS and CLOWN.] COUNTESS. It hath happened all as I would have had it, save that he comes not along with her. CLOWN. By my troth, I take my young lord to be a very melancholy man. COUNTESS. By what observance, I pray you? CLOWN. Why, he will look upon his boot and sing; mend the ruff and sing; ask questions and sing; pick his teeth and sing. I know a man that had this trick of melancholy sold a goodly manor for a song. COUNTESS. Let me see what he writes, and when he means to come. [Opening a letter.] CLOWN. I have no mind to Isbel since I was at court. Our old ling and our Isbels o' the country are nothing like your old ling and your Isbels o' the court. The brains of my Cupid's knocked out; and I begin to love, as an old man loves money, with no stomach. COUNTESS. What have we here? CLOWN. E'en that you have there. [Exit.] COUNTESS. [Reads.] 'I have sent you a daughter-in-law; she hath recovered the king and undone me. I have wedded her, not bedded her; and sworn to make the "not" eternal. You shall hear I am run away: know it before the report come. If there be breadth enough in the world, I will hold a long distance. My duty to you. Your unfortunate son, BERTRAM.' This is not well, rash and unbridled boy, To fly the favours of so good a king; To pluck his indignation on thy head By the misprizing of a maid too virtuous For the contempt of empire. [Re-enter CLOWN.] CLOWN. O madam, yonder is heavy news within between two soldiers and my young lady. COUNTESS. What is the matter? CLOWN. Nay, there is some comfort in the news, some comfort; your son will not be killed so soon as I thought he would. COUNTESS. Why should he be killed? CLOWN. So say I, madam, if he run away, as I hear he does: the danger is in standing to 't; that's the loss of men, though it be the getting of children. Here they come will tell you more: for my part, I only hear your son was run away. [Exit.] [Enter HELENA and the two Gentlemen.] SECOND GENTLEMAN. Save you, good madam. HELENA. Madam, my lord is gone, for ever gone. FIRST GENTLEMAN. Do not say so. COUNTESS. Think upon patience.--Pray you, gentlemen,-- I have felt so many quirks of joy and grief That the first face of neither, on the start, Can woman me unto 't.--Where is my son, I pray you? FIRST GENTLEMAN. Madam, he's gone to serve the Duke of Florence: We met him thitherward; for thence we came, And, after some despatch in hand at court, Thither we bend again. HELENA. Look on this letter, madam; here's my passport. [Reads.] 'When thou canst get the ring upon my finger, which never shall come off, and show me a child begotten of thy body that I am father to, then call me husband; but in such a "then" I write a "never." This is a dreadful sentence. COUNTESS. Brought you this letter, gentlemen? FIRST GENTLEMAN. Ay, madam; And for the contents' sake, are sorry for our pains. COUNTESS. I pr'ythee, lady, have a better cheer; If thou engrossest all the griefs are thine, Thou robb'st me of a moiety. He was my son: But I do wash his name out of my blood, And thou art all my child.--Towards Florence is he? FIRST GENTLEMAN. Ay, madam. COUNTESS. And to be a soldier? FIRST GENTLEMAN. Such is his noble purpose: and, believe 't, The duke will lay upon him all the honour That good convenience claims. COUNTESS. Return you thither? SECOND GENTLEMAN. Ay, madam, with the swiftest wing of speed. HELENA. [Reads.] 'Till I have no wife, I have nothing in France.' 'Tis bitter. COUNTESS. Find you that there? HELENA. Ay, madam. SECOND GENTLEMAN. 'Tis but the boldness of his hand haply, Which his heart was not consenting to. COUNTESS. Nothing in France until he have no wife! There's nothing here that is too good for him But only she; and she deserves a lord That twenty such rude boys might tend upon, And call her hourly mistress. Who was with him? SECOND GENTLEMAN. A servant only, and a gentleman Which I have sometime known. COUNTESS. Parolles, was it not? SECOND GENTLEMAN. Ay, my good lady, he. COUNTESS. A very tainted fellow, and full of wickedness. My son corrupts a well-derived nature With his inducement. SECOND GENTLEMAN. Indeed, good lady, The fellow has a deal of that too much Which holds him much to have. COUNTESS. You are welcome, gentlemen. I will entreat you, when you see my son, To tell him that his sword can never win The honour that he loses: more I'll entreat you Written to bear along. FIRST GENTLEMAN. We serve you, madam, In that and all your worthiest affairs. COUNTESS. Not so, but as we change our courtesies. Will you draw near? [Exeunt COUNTESS and Gentlemen.] HELENA. 'Till I have no wife, I have nothing in France.' Nothing in France until he has no wife! Thou shalt have none, Rousillon, none in France; Then hast thou all again. Poor lord! is't I That chase thee from thy country, and expose Those tender limbs of thine to the event Of the none-sparing war? and is it I That drive thee from the sportive court, where thou Wast shot at with fair eyes, to be the mark Of smoky muskets? O you leaden messengers, That ride upon the violent speed of fire, Fly with false aim: move the still-peering air, That sings with piercing; do not touch my lord! Whoever shoots at him, I set him there; Whoever charges on his forward breast, I am the caitiff that do hold him to it; And though I kill him not, I am the cause His death was so effected: better 'twere I met the ravin lion when he roar'd With sharp constraint of hunger; better 'twere That all the miseries which nature owes Were mine at once. No; come thou home, Rousillon, Whence honour but of danger wins a scar, As oft it loses all. I will be gone: My being here it is that holds thee hence: Shall I stay here to do't? no, no, although The air of paradise did fan the house, And angels offic'd all: I will be gone, That pitiful rumour may report my flight To consolate thine ear. Come, night; end, day! For with the dark, poor thief, I'll steal away. [Exit.] SCENE 3. Florence. Before the DUKE's palace. [Flourish. Enter the DUKE OF FLORENCE, BERTRAM, PAROLLES, Lords, Soldiers, and others.] DUKE. The general of our horse thou art; and we, Great in our hope, lay our best love and credence Upon thy promising fortune. BERTRAM. Sir, it is A charge too heavy for my strength; but yet We'll strive to bear it, for your worthy sake To the extreme edge of hazard. DUKE. Then go thou forth; And fortune play upon thy prosperous helm, As thy auspicious mistress! BERTRAM. This very day, Great Mars, I put myself into thy file; Make me but like my thoughts, and I shall prove A lover of thy drum, hater of love. [Exeunt.] SCENE 4. Rousillon. A room in the COUNTESS'S palace. [Enter COUNTESS and Steward.] COUNTESS. Alas! and would you take the letter of her? Might you not know she would do as she has done, By sending me a letter? Read it again. STEWARD. [Reads.] 'I am Saint Jaques' pilgrim, thither gone: Ambitious love hath so in me offended That barefoot plod I the cold ground upon, With sainted vow my faults to have amended. Write, write, that from the bloody course of war My dearest master, your dear son, may hie: Bless him at home in peace, whilst I from far His name with zealous fervour sanctify: His taken labours bid him me forgive; I, his despiteful Juno, sent him forth From courtly friends, with camping foes to live, Where death and danger dog the heels of worth: He is too good and fair for death and me; Whom I myself embrace to set him free.' COUNTESS. Ah, what sharp stings are in her mildest words!-- Rinaldo, you did never lack advice so much As letting her pass so; had I spoke with her, I could have well diverted her intents, Which thus she hath prevented. STEWARD. Pardon me, madam: If I had given you this at over-night, She might have been o'er ta'en; and yet she writes, Pursuit would be but vain. COUNTESS. What angel shall Bless this unworthy husband? he cannot thrive, Unless her prayers, whom heaven delights to hear And loves to grant, reprieve him from the wrath Of greatest justice.--Write, write, Rinaldo, To this unworthy husband of his wife: Let every word weigh heavy of her worth, That he does weigh too light: my greatest grief, Though little he do feel it, set down sharply. Dispatch the most convenient messenger:-- When, haply, he shall hear that she is gone He will return; and hope I may that she, Hearing so much, will speed her foot again, Led hither by pure love: which of them both Is dearest to me I have no skill in sense To make distinction:--provide this messenger:-- My heart is heavy, and mine age is weak; Grief would have tears, and sorrow bids me speak. [Exeunt.] SCENE 5. Without the walls of Florence. [Enter an old Widow of Florence, DIANA, VIOLENTA, MARIANA, and other Citizens.] WIDOW. Nay, come; for if they do approach the city we shall lose all the sight. DIANA. They say the French count has done most honourable service. WIDOW. It is reported that he has taken their greatest commander; and that with his own hand he slew the duke's brother. [A tucket afar off.] We have lost our labour; they are gone a contrary way: hark! you may know by their trumpets. MARIANA. Come, let's return again, and suffice ourselves with the report of it. Well, Diana, take heed of this French earl: the honour of a maid is her name; and no legacy is so rich as honesty. WIDOW. I have told my neighbour how you have been solicited by a gentleman his companion. MARIANA. I know that knave; hang him! one Parolles: a filthy officer he is in those suggestions for the young earl.--Beware of them, Diana; their promises, enticements, oaths, tokens, and all these engines of lust, are not the things they go under; many a maid hath been seduced by them; and the misery is, example, that so terrible shows in the wreck of maidenhood, cannot for all that dissuade succession, but that they are limed with the twigs that threaten them. I hope I need not to advise you further; but I hope your own grace will keep you where you are, though there were no further danger known but the modesty which is so lost. DIANA. You shall not need to fear me. WIDOW. I hope so.--Look, here comes a pilgrim. I know she will lie at my house: thither they send one another; I'll question her.-- [Enter HELENA in the dress of a pilgrim.] God save you, pilgrim! Whither are bound? HELENA. To Saint Jaques-le-Grand. Where do the palmers lodge, I do beseech you? WIDOW. At the Saint Francis here, beside the port. HELENA. Is this the way? WIDOW. Ay, marry, is't. Hark you! They come this way. [A march afar off.] If you will tarry, holy pilgrim, But till the troops come by, I will conduct you where you shall be lodg'd; The rather for I think I know your hostess As ample as myself. HELENA. Is it yourself? WIDOW. If you shall please so, pilgrim. HELENA. I thank you, and will stay upon your leisure. WIDOW. You came, I think, from France? HELENA. I did so. WIDOW. Here you shall see a countryman of yours That has done worthy service. HELENA. His name, I pray you. DIANA. The Count Rousillon: know you such a one? HELENA. But by the ear, that hears most nobly of him: His face I know not. DIANA. Whatsoe'er he is, He's bravely taken here. He stole from France, As 'tis reported, for the king had married him Against his liking: think you it is so? HELENA. Ay, surely, mere the truth; I know his lady. DIANA. There is a gentleman that serves the count Reports but coarsely of her. HELENA. What's his name? DIANA. Monsieur Parolles. HELENA. O, I believe with him, In argument of praise, or to the worth Of the great count himself, she is too mean To have her name repeated; all her deserving Is a reserved honesty, and that I have not heard examin'd. DIANA. Alas, poor lady! 'Tis a hard bondage to become the wife Of a detesting lord. WIDOW. Ay, right; good creature, wheresoe'er she is Her heart weighs sadly: this young maid might do her A shrewd turn, if she pleas'd. HELENA. How do you mean? May be, the amorous count solicits her In the unlawful purpose. WIDOW. He does, indeed; And brokes with all that can in such a suit Corrupt the tender honour of a maid; But she is arm'd for him, and keeps her guard In honestest defence. MARIANA. The gods forbid else! WIDOW. So, now they come:-- [Enter, with a drum and colours, a party of the Florentine army, BERTRAM, and PAROLLES.] That is Antonio, the Duke's eldest son; That, Escalus. HELENA. Which is the Frenchman? DIANA. He; That with the plume: 'tis a most gallant fellow. I would he lov'd his wife: if he were honester He were much goodlier: is't not a handsome gentleman? HELENA. I like him well. DIANA. 'Tis pity he is not honest? yond's that same knave That leads him to these places; were I his lady I would poison that vile rascal. HELENA. Which is he? DIANA. That jack-an-apes with scarfs. Why is he melancholy? HELENA. Perchance he's hurt i' the battle. PAROLLES. Lose our drum! well. MARIANA. He's shrewdly vex'd at something. Look, he has spied us. WIDOW. Marry, hang you! MARIANA. And your courtesy, for a ring-carrier! [Exeunt BERTRAM, PAROLLES, Officers, and Soldiers.] WIDOW. The troop is past. Come, pilgrim, I will bring you Where you shall host: of enjoin'd penitents There's four or five, to great Saint Jaques bound, Already at my house. HELENA. I humbly thank you: Please it this matron and this gentle maid To eat with us to-night; the charge and thanking Shall be for me: and, to requite you further, I will bestow some precepts of this virgin, Worthy the note. BOTH. We'll take your offer kindly. [Exeunt.] SCENE 6. Camp before Florence. [Enter BERTRAM, and the two French Lords.] FIRST LORD. Nay, good my lord, put him to't; let him have his way. SECOND LORD. If your lordship find him not a hilding, hold me no more in your respect. FIRST LORD. On my life, my lord, a bubble. BERTRAM. Do you think I am so far deceived in him? FIRST LORD. Believe it, my lord, in mine own direct knowledge, without any malice, but to speak of him as my kinsman, he's a most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise-breaker, the owner of no one good quality worthy your lordship's entertainment. SECOND LORD. It were fit you knew him; lest, reposing too far in his virtue, which he hath not, he might at some great and trusty business, in a main danger fail you. BERTRAM. I would I knew in what particular action to try him. SECOND LORD. None better than to let him fetch off his drum, which you hear him so confidently undertake to do. FIRST LORD. I with a troop of Florentines will suddenly surprise him; such I will have whom I am sure he knows not from the enemy; we will bind and hoodwink him so that he shall suppose no other but that he is carried into the leaguer of the adversaries when we bring him to our own tents. Be but your lordship present at his examination; if he do not, for the promise of his life, and in the highest compulsion of base fear, offer to betray you, and deliver all the intelligence in his power against you, and that with the divine forfeit of his soul upon oath, never trust my judgment in anything. SECOND LORD. O, for the love of laughter, let him fetch his drum; he says he has a stratagem for't: when your lordship sees the bottom of his success in't, and to what metal this counterfeit lump of ore will be melted, if you give him not John Drum's entertainment, your inclining cannot be removed. Here he comes. FIRST LORD. O, for the love of laughter, hinder not the honour of his design: let him fetch off his drum in any hand. [Enter PAROLLES.] BERTRAM. How now, monsieur! this drum sticks sorely in your disposition. SECOND LORD. A pox on 't; let it go; 'tis but a drum. PAROLLES. But a drum! Is't but a drum? A drum so lost!--There was excellent command! to charge in with our horse upon our own wings, and to rend our own soldiers. SECOND LORD. That was not to be blamed in the command of the service; it was a disaster of war that Caesar himself could not have prevented, if he had been there to command. BERTRAM. Well, we cannot greatly condemn our success: some dishonour we had in the loss of that drum; but it is not to be recovered. PAROLLES. It might have been recovered. BERTRAM. It might, but it is not now. PAROLLES. It is to be recovered: but that the merit of service is seldom attributed to the true and exact performer, I would have that drum or another, or hic jacet. BERTRAM. Why, if you have a stomach, to't, monsieur, if you think your mystery in stratagem can bring this instrument of honour again into his native quarter, be magnanimous in the enterprise, and go on; I will grace the attempt for a worthy exploit; if you speed well in it, the duke shall both speak of it and extend to you what further becomes his greatness, even to the utmost syllable of your worthiness. PAROLLES. By the hand of a soldier, I will undertake it. BERTRAM. But you must not now slumber in it. PAROLLES. I'll about it this evening: and I will presently pen down my dilemmas, encourage myself in my certainty, put myself into my mortal preparation; and, by midnight, look to hear further from me. BERTRAM. May I be bold to acquaint his grace you are gone about it? PAROLLES. I know not what the success will be, my lord, but the attempt I vow. BERTRAM. I know thou art valiant; and, to the possibility of thy soldiership, will subscribe for thee. Farewell. PAROLLES. I love not many words. [Exit.] FIRST LORD. No more than a fish loves water.--Is not this a strange fellow, my lord? that so confidently seems to undertake this business, which he knows is not to be done; damns himself to do, and dares better be damned than to do't. SECOND LORD. You do not know him, my lord, as we do: certain it is that he will steal himself into a man's favour, and for a week escape a great deal of discoveries; but when you find him out, you have him ever after. BERTRAM. Why, do you think he will make no deed at all of this, that so seriously he does address himself unto? FIRST LORD. None in the world: but return with an invention, and clap upon you two or three probable lies: but we have almost embossed him, --you shall see his fall to-night: for indeed he is not for your lordship's respect. SECOND LORD. We'll make you some sport with the fox ere we case him. He was first smok'd by the old Lord Lafeu: when his disguise and he is parted, tell me what a sprat you shall find him; which you shall see this very night. FIRST LORD. I must go look my twigs; he shall be caught. BERTRAM. Your brother, he shall go along with me. FIRST LORD. As't please your lordship: I'll leave you. [Exit.] BERTRAM. Now will I lead you to the house, and show you The lass I spoke of. SECOND LORD. But you say she's honest. BERTRAM. That's all the fault: I spoke with her but once, And found her wondrous cold; but I sent to her, By this same coxcomb that we have i' the wind, Tokens and letters which she did re-send; And this is all I have done. She's a fair creature; Will you go see her? SECOND LORD. With all my heart, my lord. [Exeunt.] SCENE 7. Florence. A room in the WIDOW'S house. [Enter HELENA and Widow.] HELENA. If you misdoubt me that I am not she, I know not how I shall assure you further, But I shall lose the grounds I work upon. WIDOW. Though my estate be fallen, I was well born, Nothing acquainted with these businesses; And would not put my reputation now In any staining act. HELENA. Nor would I wish you. First give me trust, the count he is my husband, And what to your sworn counsel I have spoken Is so from word to word; and then you cannot, By the good aid that I of you shall borrow, Err in bestowing it. WIDOW. I should believe you; For you have show'd me that which well approves You're great in fortune. HELENA. Take this purse of gold, And let me buy your friendly help thus far, Which I will over-pay, and pay again When I have found it. The count he woos your daughter Lays down his wanton siege before her beauty, Resolv'd to carry her: let her in fine, consent, As we'll direct her how 'tis best to bear it, Now his important blood will naught deny That she'll demand: a ring the county wears, That downward hath succeeded in his house From son to son, some four or five descents Since the first father wore it: this ring he holds In most rich choice; yet, in his idle fire, To buy his will, it would not seem too dear, Howe'er repented after. WIDOW. Now I see The bottom of your purpose. HELENA. You see it lawful then: it is no more But that your daughter, ere she seems as won, Desires this ring; appoints him an encounter; In fine, delivers me to fill the time, Herself most chastely absent; after this, To marry her, I'll add three thousand crowns To what is pass'd already. WIDOW. I have yielded: Instruct my daughter how she shall persever, That time and place, with this deceit so lawful, May prove coherent. Every night he comes With musics of all sorts, and songs compos'd To her unworthiness: it nothing steads us To chide him from our eaves; for he persists, As if his life lay on 't. HELENA. Why, then, to-night Let us assay our plot; which, if it speed, Is wicked meaning in a lawful deed, And lawful meaning in a lawful act; Where both not sin, and yet a sinful fact: But let's about it. [Exeunt.] ACT IV. SCENE 1. Without the Florentine camp. [Enter first Lord with five or six Soldiers in ambush.] FIRST LORD. He can come no other way but by this hedge-corner. When you sally upon him, speak what terrible language you will; though you understand it not yourselves, no matter; for we must not seem to understand him, unless some one among us, whom we must produce for an interpreter. FIRST SOLDIER. Good captain, let me be the interpreter. FIRST LORD. Art not acquainted with him? knows he not thy voice? FIRST SOLDIER. No, sir, I warrant you. FIRST LORD. But what linsey-woolsey has thou to speak to us again? FIRST SOLDIER. E'en such as you speak to me. FIRST LORD. He must think us some band of strangers i' the adversary's entertainment. Now he hath a smack of all neighbouring languages, therefore we must every one be a man of his own fancy; not to know what we speak one to another, so we seem to know, is to know straight our purpose: choughs' language, gabble enough, and good enough. As for you, interpreter, you must seem very politic. But couch, ho! here he comes; to beguile two hours in a sleep, and then to return and swear the lies he forges. [Enter PAROLLES.] PAROLLES. Ten o'clock. Within these three hours 'twill be time enough to go home. What shall I say I have done? It must be a very plausive invention that carries it ;they begin to smoke me: and disgraces have of late knocked too often at my door. I find my tongue is too foolhardy; but my heart hath the fear of Mars before it, and of his creatures, not daring the reports of my tongue. FIRST LORD. {Aside.] This is the first truth that e'er thine own tongue was guilty of. PAROLLES. What the devil should move me to undertake the recovery of this drum: being not ignorant of the impossibility, and knowing I had no such purpose? I must give myself some hurts, and say I got them in exploit: yet slight ones will not carry it: they will say Came you off with so little? and great ones I dare not give. Wherefore, what's the instance? Tongue, I must put you into a butter-woman's mouth, and buy myself another of Bajazet's mule, if you prattle me into these perils. FIRST LORD. {Aside.] Is it possible he should know what he is, and be that he is? PAROLLES. I would the cutting of my garments would serve the turn, or the breaking of my Spanish sword. FIRST LORD. {Aside.] We cannot afford you so. PAROLLES. Or the baring of my beard; and to say it was in stratagem. FIRST LORD. {Aside.] 'Twould not do. PAROLLES. Or to drown my clothes, and say I was stripped. FIRST LORD. {Aside.] Hardly serve. PAROLLES. Though I swore I leap'd from the window of the citadel,-- FIRST LORD. {Aside.] How deep? PAROLLES. Thirty fathom. FIRST LORD. {Aside.] Three great oaths would scarce make that be believed. PAROLLES. I would I had any drum of the enemy's; I would swear I recovered it. FIRST LORD. {Aside.] You shall hear one anon. PAROLLES. A drum now of the enemy's! [Alarum within.] FIRST LORD. Throca movousus, cargo, cargo, cargo. ALL. Cargo, cargo, cargo, villianda par corbo, cargo. PAROLLES. O, ransom, ransom! Do not hide mine eyes. [They seize and blindfold him.] FIRST SOLDIER. Boskos thromuldo boskos. PAROLLES. I know you are the Muskos' regiment, And I shall lose my life for want of language: If there be here German, or Dane, low Dutch, Italian, or French, let him speak to me; I'll discover that which shall undo the Florentine. SECOND SOLDIER. Boskos vauvado:--I understand thee, and can speak thy tongue. Kerelybonto:--Sir, Betake thee to thy faith, for seventeen poniards Are at thy bosom. PAROLLES. O! FIRST SOLDIER. O, pray, pray, pray!-- Manka revania dulche. FIRST LORD. Oscorbi dulchos volivorco. FIRST SOLDIER. The General is content to spare thee yet; And, hoodwink'd as thou art, will lead thee on To gather from thee: haply thou mayst inform Something to save thy life. PAROLLES. O, let me live, And all the secrets of our camp I'll show, Their force, their purposes: nay, I'll speak that Which you will wonder at. FIRST SOLDIER. But wilt thou faithfully? PAROLLES. If I do not, damn me. FIRST SOLDIER. Acordo linta.-- Come on; thou art granted space. [Exit, with PAROLLES guarded.] FIRST LORD. Go, tell the Count Rousillon and my brother We have caught the woodcock, and will keep him muffled Till we do hear from them. SECOND SOLDIER. Captain, I will. FIRST LORD. 'A will betray us all unto ourselves;-- Inform 'em that. SECOND SOLDIER. So I will, sir. FIRST LORD. Till then I'll keep him dark, and safely lock'd. [Exeunt.] SCENE 2. Florence. A room in the WIDOW'S house. [Enter BERTRAM and DIANA.] BERTRAM. They told me that your name was Fontibell. DIANA. No, my good lord, Diana. BERTRAM. Titled goddess; And worth it, with addition! But, fair soul, In your fine frame hath love no quality? If the quick fire of youth light not your mind, You are no maiden, but a monument; When you are dead, you should be such a one As you are now, for you are cold and stern; And now you should be as your mother was When your sweet self was got. DIANA. She then was honest. BERTRAM. So should you be. DIANA. No: My mother did but duty; such, my lord, As you owe to your wife. BERTRAM. No more of that! I pr'ythee, do not strive against my vows: I was compell'd to her; but I love thee By love's own sweet constraint, and will for ever Do thee all rights of service. DIANA. Ay, so you serve us Till we serve you; but when you have our roses You barely leave our thorns to prick ourselves, And mock us with our bareness. BERTRAM. How have I sworn? DIANA. 'Tis not the many oaths that makes the truth, But the plain single vow that is vow'd true. What is not holy, that we swear not by, But take the Highest to witness: then, pray you, tell me, If I should swear by Jove's great attributes I lov'd you dearly, would you believe my oaths When I did love you ill? This has no holding, To swear by him whom I protest to love That I will work against him: therefore your oaths Are words and poor conditions; but unseal'd,-- At least in my opinion. BERTRAM. Change it, change it; Be not so holy-cruel. Love is holy; And my integrity ne'er knew the crafts That you do charge men with. Stand no more off, But give thyself unto my sick desires, Who then recover: say thou art mine, and ever My love as it begins shall so persever. DIANA. I see that men make hopes in such a case, That we'll forsake ourselves. Give me that ring. BERTRAM. I'll lend it thee, my dear, but have no power To give it from me. DIANA. Will you not, my lord? BERTRAM. It is an honour 'longing to our house, Bequeathed down from many ancestors; Which were the greatest obloquy i' the world In me to lose. DIANA. Mine honour's such a ring: My chastity's the jewel of our house, Bequeathed down from many ancestors; Which were the greatest obloquy i' the world In me to lose. Thus your own proper wisdom Brings in the champion honour on my part Against your vain assault. BERTRAM. Here, take my ring: My house, mine honour, yea, my life, be thine, And I'll be bid by thee. DIANA. When midnight comes, knock at my chamber-window; I'll order take my mother shall not hear. Now will I charge you in the band of truth, When you have conquer'd my yet maiden-bed, Remain there but an hour, nor speak to me: My reasons are most strong; and you shall know them When back again this ring shall be deliver'd; And on your finger in the night, I'll put Another ring; that what in time proceeds May token to the future our past deeds. Adieu till then; then fail not. You have won A wife of me, though there my hope be done. BERTRAM. A heaven on earth I have won by wooing thee. [Exit.] DIANA. For which live long to thank both heaven and me! You may so in the end.-- My mother told me just how he would woo, As if she sat in's heart; she says all men Have the like oaths: he had sworn to marry me When his wife's dead; therefore I'll lie with him When I am buried. Since Frenchmen are so braid, Marry that will, I live and die a maid: Only, in this disguise, I think't no sin To cozen him that would unjustly win. [Exit.] SCENE 3. The Florentine camp. [Enter the two French Lords, and two or three Soldiers.] FIRST LORD. You have not given him his mother's letter? SECOND LORD. I have deliv'red it an hour since: there is something in't that stings his nature; for on the reading, it he changed almost into another man. FIRST LORD. He has much worthy blame laid upon him for shaking off so good a wife and so sweet a lady. SECOND LORD. Especially he hath incurred the everlasting displeasure of the king, who had even tuned his bounty to sing happiness to him. I will tell you a thing, but you shall let it dwell darkly with you. FIRST LORD. When you have spoken it, 'tis dead, and I am the grave of it. SECOND LORD. He hath perverted a young gentlewoman here in Florence, of a most chaste renown; and this night he fleshes his will in the spoil of her honour: he hath given her his monumental ring, and thinks himself made in the unchaste composition. FIRST LORD. Now, God delay our rebellion: as we are ourselves, what things are we! SECOND LORD. Merely our own traitors. And as in the common course of all treasons, we still see them reveal themselves till they attain to their abhorred ends; so he that in this action contrives against his own nobility, in his proper stream, o'erflows himself. FIRST LORD. Is it not meant damnable in us to be trumpeters of our unlawful intents? We shall not then have his company to-night? SECOND LORD. Not till after midnight; for he is dieted to his hour. FIRST LORD. That approaches apace: I would gladly have him see his company anatomized, that he might take a measure of his own judgments, wherein so curiously he had set this counterfeit. SECOND LORD. We will not meddle with him till he come; for his presence must be the whip of the other. FIRST LORD. In the meantime, what hear you of these wars? SECOND LORD. I hear there is an overture of peace. FIRST LORD. Nay, I assure you, a peace concluded. SECOND LORD. What will Count Rousillon do then? will he travel higher, or return again into France? FIRST LORD. I perceive, by this demand, you are not altogether of his counsel. SECOND LORD. Let it be forbid, sir: so should I be a great deal of his act. FIRST LORD. Sir, his wife, some two months since, fled from his house: her pretence is a pilgrimage to Saint Jaques-le-Grand: which holy undertaking with most austere sanctimony she accomplished; and, there residing, the tenderness of her nature became as a prey to her grief; in fine, made a groan of her last breath; and now she sings in heaven. SECOND LORD. How is this justified? FIRST LORD. The stronger part of it by her own letters, which makes her story true, even to the point of her death: her death itself which could not be her office to say is come, was faithfully confirmed by the rector of the place. SECOND LORD. Hath the count all this intelligence? FIRST LORD. Ay, and the particular confirmations, point from point, to the full arming of the verity. SECOND LORD. I am heartily sorry that he'll be glad of this. FIRST LORD. How mightily, sometimes, we make us comforts of our losses! SECOND LORD. And how mightily, some other times, we drown our gain in tears! The great dignity that his valour hath here acquired for him shall at home be encountered with a shame as ample. FIRST LORD. The web of our life is of a mingled yarn, good and ill together: our virtues would be proud if our faults whipped them not; and our crimes would despair if they were not cherished by our virtues.-- [Enter a Servant.] How now? where's your master? SERVANT. He met the duke in the street, sir; of whom he hath taken a solemn leave: his lordship will next morning for France. The duke hath offered him letters of commendations to the king. SECOND LORD. They shall be no more than needful there, if they were more than they can commend. FIRST LORD. They cannot be too sweet for the king's tartness. Here's his lordship now. [Enter BERTRAM.] How now, my lord, is't not after midnight? BERTRAM. I have to-night despatch'd sixteen businesses, a month's length apiece; by an abstract of success: I have conge'd with the duke, done my adieu with his nearest; buried a wife, mourned for her; writ to my lady mother I am returning; entertained my convoy; and between these main parcels of despatch effected many nicer needs: the last was the greatest, but that I have not ended yet. SECOND LORD. If the business be of any difficulty and this morning your departure hence, it requires haste of your lordship. BERTRAM. I mean the business is not ended, as fearing to hear of it hereafter. But shall we have this dialogue between the fool and the soldier?--Come, bring forth this counterfeit module has deceived me like a double-meaning prophesier. SECOND LORD. Bring him forth. [Exeunt Soldiers.] Has sat i' the stocks all night, poor gallant knave. BERTRAM. No matter; his heels have deserved it, in usurping his spurs so long. How does he carry himself? FIRST LORD. I have told your lordship already; the stocks carry him. But to answer you as you would be understood: he weeps like a wench that had shed her milk; he hath confessed himself to Morgan, whom he supposes to be a friar, from the time of his remembrance to this very instant disaster of his setting i' the stocks: and what think you he hath confessed? BERTRAM. Nothing of me, has he? SECOND LORD. His confession is taken, and it shall be read to his face; if your lordship be in't, as I believe you are, you must have the patience to hear it. [Re-enter Soldiers, with PAROLLES.] BERTRAM. A plague upon him! muffled! he can say nothing of me; hush, hush! FIRST LORD. Hoodman comes! Porto tartarossa. FIRST SOLDIER. He calls for the tortures: what will you say without 'em? PAROLLES. I will confess what I know without constraint; if ye pinch me like a pasty I can say no more. FIRST SOLDIER. Bosko chimurcho. FIRST LORD. Boblibindo chicurmurco. FIRST SOLDIER. You are a merciful general:--Our general bids you answer to what I shall ask you out of a note. PAROLLES. And truly, as I hope to live. FIRST SOLDIER. 'First demand of him how many horse the duke is strong.' What say you to that? PAROLLES. Five or six thousand; but very weak and unserviceable: the troops are all scattered, and the commanders very poor rogues, upon my reputation and credit, and as I hope to live. FIRST SOLDIER. Shall I set down your answer so? PAROLLES. Do; I'll take the sacrament on 't, how and which way you will. BERTRAM. All's one to him. What a past-saving slave is this! FIRST LORD. You are deceived, my lord; this is Monsieur Parolles, the gallant militarist (that was his own phrase),that had the whole theoric of war in the knot of his scarf, and the practice in the chape of his dagger. SECOND LORD. I will never trust a man again for keeping his sword clean; nor believe he can have everything in him by wearing his apparel neatly. FIRST SOLDIER. Well, that's set down. PAROLLES. 'Five or six thousand horse' I said--I will say true--or thereabouts, set down,--for I'll speak truth. FIRST LORD. He's very near the truth in this. BERTRAM. But I con him no thanks for't in the nature he delivers it. PAROLLES. Poor rogues, I pray you say. FIRST SOLDIER. Well, that's set down. PAROLLES. I humbly thank you, sir: a truth's a truth, the rogues are marvellous poor. FIRST SOLDIER. 'Demand of him of what strength they are a-foot.' What say you to that? PAROLLES. By my troth, sir, if I were to live this present hour, I will tell true. Let me see: Spurio, a hundred and fifty, Sebastian, so many; Corambus, so many; Jaques, so many; Guiltian, Cosmo, Lodowick, and Gratii, two hundred fifty each; mine own company, Chitopher, Vaumond, Bentii, two hundred fifty each: so that the muster-file, rotten and sound, upon my life, amounts not to fifteen thousand poll; half of the which dare not shake the snow from off their cassocks lest they shake themselves to pieces. BERTRAM. What shall be done to him? FIRST LORD. Nothing, but let him have thanks. Demand of him my condition, and what credit I have with the duke. FIRST SOLDIER. Well, that's set down. 'You shall demand of him whether one Captain Dumain be i' the camp, a Frenchman; what his reputation is with the duke, what his valour, honesty, expertness in wars; or whether he thinks it were not possible, with well-weighing sums of gold, to corrupt him to a revolt.' What say you to this? what do you know of it? PAROLLES. I beseech you, let me answer to the particular of the inter'gatories: demand them singly. FIRST SOLDIER. Do you know this Captain Dumain? PAROLLES. I know him: he was a botcher's 'prentice in Paris, from whence he was whipped for getting the shrieve's fool with child: a dumb innocent that could not say him nay. [FIRST LORD lifts up his hand in anger.] BERTRAM. Nay, by your leave, hold your hands; though I know his brains are forfeit to the next tile that falls. FIRST SOLDIER. Well, is this captain in the Duke of Florence's camp? PAROLLES. Upon my knowledge, he is, and lousy. FIRST LORD. Nay, look not so upon me; we shall hear of your lordship anon. FIRST SOLDIER. What is his reputation with the duke? PAROLLES. The duke knows him for no other but a poor officer of mine; and writ to me this other day to turn him out o' the band: I think I have his letter in my pocket. FIRST SOLDIER. Marry, we'll search. PAROLLES. In good sadness, I do not know; either it is there or it is upon a file, with the duke's other letters, in my tent. FIRST SOLDIER. Here 'tis; here's a paper. Shall I read it to you? PAROLLES. I do not know if it be it or no. BERTRAM. Our interpreter does it well. FIRST LORD. Excellently. FIRST SOLDIER. [Reads.] 'Dian, the Count's a fool, and full of gold,--' PAROLLES. That is not the duke's letter, sir; that is an advertisement to a proper maid in Florence, one Diana, to take heed of the allurement of one Count Rousillon, a foolish idle boy, but for all that very ruttish: I pray you, sir, put it up again. FIRST SOLDIER. Nay, I'll read it first by your favour. PAROLLES. My meaning in't, I protest, was very honest in the behalf of the maid; for I knew the young count to be a dangerous and lascivious boy, who is a whale to virginity, and devours up all the fry it finds. BERTRAM. Damnable! both sides rogue! FIRST SOLDIER. [Reads.] 'When he swears oaths, bid him drop gold, and take it: After he scores, he never pays the score; Half won is match well made; match, and well make it; He ne'er pays after-debts, take it before; And say a soldier, 'Dian,' told thee this: Men are to mell with, boys are not to kiss; For count of this, the count's a fool, I know it, Who pays before, but not when he does owe it. Thine, as he vow'd to thee in thine ear, PAROLLES. BERTRAM. He shall be whipped through the army with this rhyme in his forehead. SECOND LORD. This is your devoted friend, sir, the manifold linguist, and the armipotent soldier. BERTRAM. I could endure anything before but a cat, and now he's a cat to me. FIRST SOLDIER. I perceive, sir, by our general's looks we shall be fain to hang you. PAROLLES. My life, sir, in any case: not that I am afraid to die, but that, my offences being many, I would repent out the remainder of nature: let me live, sir, in a dungeon, i' the stocks, or anywhere, so I may live. FIRST SOLDIER. We'll see what may be done, so you confess freely; therefore, once more to this Captain Dumain: you have answered to his reputation with the duke, and to his valour: what is his honesty? PAROLLES. He will steal, sir, an egg out of a cloister: for rapes and ravishments he parallels Nessus. He professes not keeping of oaths; in breaking them he is stronger than Hercules. He will lie, sir, with such volubility that you would think truth were a fool: drunkenness is his best virtue, for he will be swine-drunk; and in his sleep he does little harm, save to his bedclothes about him; but they know his conditions and lay him in straw. I have but little more to say, sir, of his honesty; he has everything that an honest man should not have; what an honest man should have he has nothing. FIRST LORD. I begin to love him for this. BERTRAM. For this description of thine honesty? A pox upon him for me; he's more and more a cat. FIRST SOLDIER. What say you to his expertness in war? PAROLLES. Faith, sir, has led the drum before the English tragedians,--to belie him I will not,--and more of his soldiership I know not, except in that country he had the honour to be the officer at a place there called Mile-end to instruct for the doubling of files: I would do the man what honour I can, but of this I am not certain. FIRST LORD. He hath out-villanied villainy so far that the rarity redeems him. BERTRAM. A pox on him! he's a cat still. FIRST SOLDIER. His qualities being at this poor price, I need not to ask you if gold will corrupt him to revolt. PAROLLES. Sir, for a quart d'ecu he will sell the fee-simple of his salvation, the inheritance of it; and cut the entail from all remainders and a perpetual succession for it perpetually. FIRST SOLDIER. What's his brother, the other Captain Dumain? SECOND LORD. Why does he ask him of me? FIRST SOLDIER. What's he? PAROLLES. E'en a crow o' the same nest; not altogether so great as the first in goodness, but greater a great deal in evil. He excels his brother for a coward, yet his brother is reputed one of the best that is; in a retreat he outruns any lackey: marry, in coming on he has the cramp. FIRST SOLDIER. If your life be saved, will you undertake to betray the Florentine? PAROLLES. Ay, and the captain of his horse, Count Rousillon. FIRST SOLDIER. I'll whisper with the general, and know his pleasure. PAROLLES. [Aside.] I'll no more drumming; a plague of all drums! Only to seem to deserve well, and to beguile the supposition of that lascivious young boy the count, have I run into this danger: yet who would have suspected an ambush where I was taken? FIRST SOLDIER. There is no remedy, sir, but you must die: the general says you that have so traitorously discovered the secrets of your army, and made such pestiferous reports of men very nobly held, can serve the world for no honest use; therefore you must die. Come, headsman, off with his head. PAROLLES. O Lord! sir, let me live, or let me see my death. FIRST SOLDIER. That shall you, and take your leave of all your friends. [Unmuffling him.] So look about you; know you any here? BERTRAM. Good morrow, noble captain. SECOND LORD. God bless you, Captain Parolles. FIRST LORD. God save you, noble captain. SECOND LORD. Captain, what greeting will you to my Lord Lafeu? I am for France. FIRST LORD. Good Captain, will you give me a copy of the sonnet you writ to Diana in behalf of the Count Rousillon? an I were not a very coward I'd compel it of you; but fare you well. [Exeunt BERTRAM, Lords, &c.] FIRST SOLDIER. You are undone, captain: all but your scarf; that has a knot on't yet. PAROLLES. Who cannot be crushed with a plot? FIRST SOLDIER. If you could find out a country where but women were that had received so much shame, you might begin an impudent nation. Fare ye well, sir; I am for France too: we shall speak of you there. [Exit.] PAROLLES. Yet am I thankful: if my heart were great, 'Twould burst at this. Captain I'll be no more; But I will eat, and drink, and sleep as soft As captain shall: simply the thing I am Shall make me live. Who knows himself a braggart, Let him fear this; for it will come to pass That every braggart shall be found an ass. Rust, sword! cool, blushes! and, Parolles, live Safest in shame! being fool'd, by foolery thrive. There's place and means for every man alive. I'll after them. [Exit.] SCENE 4. Florence. A room in the Widow's house. [Enter HELENA, Widow, and DIANA.] HELENA. That you may well perceive I have not wrong'd you! One of the greatest in the Christian world Shall be my surety; 'fore whose throne 'tis needful, Ere I can perfect mine intents, to kneel: Time was I did him a desired office, Dear almost as his life; which gratitude Through flinty Tartar's bosom would peep forth, And answer, thanks: I duly am informed His grace is at Marseilles; to which place We have convenient convoy. You must know I am supposed dead: the army breaking, My husband hies him home; where, heaven aiding, And by the leave of my good lord the king, We'll be before our welcome. WIDOW. Gentle madam, You never had a servant to whose trust Your business was more welcome. HELENA. Nor you, mistress, Ever a friend whose thoughts more truly labour To recompense your love: doubt not but heaven Hath brought me up to be your daughter's dower, As it hath fated her to be my motive And helper to a husband. But, O strange men! That can such sweet use make of what they hate, When saucy trusting of the cozen'd thoughts Defiles the pitchy night! so lust doth play With what it loathes, for that which is away: But more of this hereafter.--You, Diana, Under my poor instructions yet must suffer Something in my behalf. DIANA. Let death and honesty Go with your impositions, I am yours Upon your will to suffer. HELENA. Yet, I pray you: But with the word the time will bring on summer, When briers shall have leaves as well as thorns, And be as sweet as sharp. We must away; Our waggon is prepar'd, and time revives us: All's well that ends well: still the fine's the crown; Whate'er the course, the end is the renown. [Exeunt.] SCENE 5. Rousillon. A room in the COUNTESS'S palace. [Enter COUNTESS, LAFEU, and CLOWN.] LAFEU. No, no, no, son was misled with a snipt-taffeta fellow there, whose villanous saffron would have made all the unbaked and doughy youth of a nation in his colour: your daughter-in-law had been alive at this hour, and your son here at home, more advanced by the king than by that red-tail'd humble-bee I speak of. COUNTESS. I would I had not known him! It was the death of the most virtuous gentlewoman that ever nature had praise for creating: if she had partaken of my flesh, and cost me the dearest groans of a mother, I could not have owed her a more rooted love. LAFEU. 'Twas a good lady, 'twas a good lady: we may pick a thousand salads ere we light on such another herb. CLOWN. Indeed, sir, she was the sweet marjoram of the salad, or, rather, the herb of grace. LAFEU. They are not salad-herbs, you knave; they are nose-herbs. CLOWN. I am no great Nebuchadnezzar, sir; I have not much skill in grass. LAFEU. Whether dost thou profess thyself,--a knave or a fool? CLOWN. A fool, sir, at a woman's service, and a knave at a man's. LAFEU. Your distinction? CLOWN. I would cozen the man of his wife, and do his service. LAFEU. So you were a knave at his service, indeed. CLOWN. And I would give his wife my bauble, sir, to do her service. LAFEU. I will subscribe for thee; thou art both knave and fool. CLOWN. At your service. LAFEU. No, no, no. CLOWN. Why, sir, if I cannot serve you, I can serve as great a prince as you are. LAFEU. Who's that? a Frenchman? CLOWN. Faith, sir, 'a has an English name; but his phisnomy is more hotter in France than there. LAFEU. What prince is that? CLOWN. The black prince, sir; alias, the prince of darkness; alias, the devil. LAFEU. Hold thee, there's my purse: I give thee not this to suggest thee from thy master thou talkest of; serve him still. CLOWN. I am a woodland fellow, sir, that always loved a great fire; and the master I speak of ever keeps a good fire. But, sure, he is the prince of the world; let his nobility remain in his court. I am for the house with the narrow gate, which I take to be too little for pomp to enter: some that humble themselves may; but the many will be too chill and tender; and they'll be for the flow'ry way that leads to the broad gate and the great fire. LAFEU. Go thy ways, I begin to be a-weary of thee; and I tell thee so before, because I would not fall out with thee. Go thy ways; let my horses be well looked to, without any tricks. CLOWN. If I put any tricks upon 'em, sir, they shall be jades' tricks, which are their own right by the law of nature. [Exit.] LAFEU. A shrewd knave, and an unhappy. COUNTESS. So he is. My lord that's gone made himself much sport out of him; by his authority he remains here, which he thinks is a patent for his sauciness; and indeed he has no pace, but runs where he will. LAFEU. I like him well; 'tis not amiss. And I was about to tell you, since I heard of the good lady's death, and that my lord your son was upon his return home, I moved the king my master to speak in the behalf of my daughter; which, in the minority of them both, his majesty out of a self-gracious remembrance did first propose: His highness hath promised me to do it; and, to stop up the displeasure he hath conceived against your son, there is no fitter matter. How does your ladyship like it? COUNTESS. With very much content, my lord; and I wish it happily effected. LAFEU. His highness comes post from Marseilles, of as able body as when he numbered thirty; he will be here to-morrow, or I am deceived by him that in such intelligence hath seldom failed. COUNTESS. It rejoices me that I hope I shall see him ere I die. I have letters that my son will be here to-night: I shall beseech your lordship to remain with me till they meet together. LAFEU. Madam, I was thinking with what manners I might safely be admitted. COUNTESS. You need but plead your honourable privilege. LAFEU. Lady, of that I have made a bold charter; but, I thank my God, it holds yet. [Re-enter CLOWN.] CLOWN. O madam, yonder's my lord your son with a patch of velvet on's face; whether there be a scar under it or no, the velvet knows; but 'tis a goodly patch of velvet: his left cheek is a cheek of two pile and a half, but his right cheek is worn bare. LAFEU. A scar nobly got, or a noble scar, is a good livery of honour; so belike is that. CLOWN. But it is your carbonadoed face. LAFEU. Let us go see your son, I pray you; I long to talk with the young noble soldier. CLOWN. Faith, there's a dozen of 'em, with delicate fine hats, and most courteous feathers, which bow the head and nod at every man. [Exeunt.] ACT V. SCENE 1. Marseilles. A street. [Enter HELENA, Widow, and DIANA, with two Attendants.] HELENA. But this exceeding posting day and night Must wear your spirits low: we cannot help it. But since you have made the days and nights as one, To wear your gentle limbs in my affairs, Be bold you do so grow in my requital As nothing can unroot you. In happy time;-- [Enter a GENTLEMAN.] This man may help me to his majesty's ear, If he would spend his power.--God save you, sir. GENTLEMAN. And you. HELENA. Sir, I have seen you in the court of France. GENTLEMAN. I have been sometimes there. HELENA. I do presume, sir, that you are not fallen From the report that goes upon your goodness; And therefore, goaded with most sharp occasions, Which lay nice manners by, I put you to The use of your own virtues, for the which I shall continue thankful. GENTLEMAN. What's your will? HELENA. That it will please you To give this poor petition to the king; And aid me with that store of power you have To come into his presence. GENTLEMAN. The king's not here. HELENA. Not here, sir? GENTLEMAN. Not indeed. He hence remov'd last night, and with more haste Than is his use. WIDOW. Lord, how we lose our pains! HELENA. All's well that ends well yet, Though time seem so adverse and means unfit. I do beseech you, whither is he gone? GENTLEMAN. Marry, as I take it, to Rousillon; Whither I am going. HELENA. I do beseech you, sir, Since you are like to see the king before me, Commend the paper to his gracious hand; Which I presume shall render you no blame, But rather make you thank your pains for it: I will come after you with what good speed Our means will make us means. GENTLEMAN. This I'll do for you. HELENA. And you shall find yourself to be well thank'd, Whate'er falls more.--We must to horse again;-- Go, go, provide. [Exeunt.] SCENE 2. Rousillon. The inner court of the COUNTESS'S palace. [Enter CLOWN and PAROLLES.] PAROLLES. Good Monsieur Lavache, give my Lord Lafeu this letter: I have ere now, sir, been better known to you, when I have held familiarity with fresher clothes; but I am now, sir, muddied in fortune's mood, and smell somewhat strong of her strong displeasure. CLOWN. Truly, Fortune's displeasure is but sluttish, if it smell so strongly as thou speak'st of: I will henceforth eat no fish of fortune's buttering. Pr'ythee, allow the wind. PAROLLES. Nay, you need not to stop your nose, sir; I spake but by a metaphor. CLOWN. Indeed, sir, if your metaphor stink, I will stop my nose; or against any man's metaphor. Pr'ythee, get thee further. PAROLLES. Pray you, sir, deliver me this paper. CLOWN. Foh, pr'ythee stand away. A paper from Fortune's close-stool to give to a nobleman! Look here he comes himself. [Enter LAFEU.] Here is a pur of fortune's, sir, or of fortune's cat (but not a musk-cat), that has fallen into the unclean fishpond of her displeasure, and, as he says, is muddied withal: pray you, sir, use the carp as you may; for he looks like a poor, decayed, ingenious, foolish, rascally knave. I do pity his distress in my similes of comfort, and leave him to your lordship. [Exit.] PAROLLES. My lord, I am a man whom fortune hath cruelly scratched. LAFEU. And what would you have me to do? 'tis too late to pare her nails now. Wherein have you played the knave with fortune, that she should scratch you, who of herself is a good lady, and would not have knaves thrive long under her? There's a quart d'ecu for you: let the justices make you and fortune friends; I am for other business. PAROLLES. I beseech your honour to hear me one single word. LAFEU. You beg a single penny more: come, you shall ha't: save your word. PAROLLES. My name, my good lord, is Parolles. LAFEU. You beg more than word then.--Cox' my passion! give me your hand:--how does your drum? PAROLLES. O my good lord, you were the first that found me. LAFEU. Was I, in sooth? and I was the first that lost thee. PAROLLES. It lies in you, my lord, to bring me in some grace, for you did bring me out. LAFEU. Out upon thee, knave! dost thou put upon me at once both the office of God and the devil? one brings the in grace, and the other brings thee out. [Trumpets sound.] The king's coming; I know by his trumpets.--Sirrah, inquire further after me; I had talk of you last night: though you are a fool and a knave, you shall eat: go to; follow. PAROLLES. I praise God for you. [Exeunt.] SCENE 3. The same. A room in the COUNTESS'S palace. [Flourish. Enter KING, COUNTESS, LAFEU, Lords, Gentlemen, Guards, &c.] KING. We lost a jewel of her; and our esteem Was made much poorer by it: but your son, As mad in folly, lack'd the sense to know Her estimation home. COUNTESS. 'Tis past, my liege: And I beseech your majesty to make it Natural rebellion, done i' the blaze of youth, When oil and fire, too strong for reason's force, O'erbears it and burns on. KING. My honour'd lady, I have forgiven and forgotten all; Though my revenges were high bent upon him, And watch'd the time to shoot. LAFEU. This I must say,-- But first, I beg my pardon,--the young lord Did to his majesty, his mother, and his lady, Offence of mighty note; but to himself The greatest wrong of all: he lost a wife Whose beauty did astonish the survey Of richest eyes; whose words all ears took captive; Whose dear perfection hearts that scorn'd to serve Humbly call'd mistress. KING. Praising what is lost Makes the remembrance dear.--Well, call him hither;-- We are reconcil'd, and the first view shall kill All repetition:--let him not ask our pardon; The nature of his great offence is dead, And deeper than oblivion do we bury Th' incensing relics of it; let him approach, A stranger, no offender; and inform him, So 'tis our will he should. GENTLEMAN. I shall, my liege. [Exit Gentleman.] KING. What says he to your daughter? have you spoke? LAFEU. All that he is hath reference to your highness. KING. Then shall we have a match. I have letters sent me That sets him high in fame. [Enter BERTRAM.] LAFEU. He looks well on 't. KING. I am not a day of season, For thou mayst see a sunshine and a hail In me at once: but to the brightest beams Distracted clouds give way; so stand thou forth; The time is fair again. BERTRAM. My high-repented blames, Dear sovereign, pardon to me. KING. All is whole; Not one word more of the consumed time. Let's take the instant by the forward top; For we are old, and on our quick'st decrees The inaudible and noiseless foot of time Steals ere we can effect them. You remember The daughter of this lord? BERTRAM. Admiringly, my liege: at first I stuck my choice upon her, ere my heart Durst make too bold herald of my tongue: Where the impression of mine eye infixing, Contempt his scornful perspective did lend me, Which warp'd the line of every other favour; Scorned a fair colour, or express'd it stolen; Extended or contracted all proportions To a most hideous object: thence it came That she whom all men prais'd, and whom myself, Since I have lost, have lov'd, was in mine eye The dust that did offend it. KING. Well excus'd: That thou didst love her, strikes some scores away From the great compt: but love that comes too late, Like a remorseful pardon slowly carried, To the great sender turns a sour offence, Crying, That's good that's gone. Our rash faults Make trivial price of serious things we have, Not knowing them until we know their grave: Oft our displeasures, to ourselves unjust, Destroy our friends, and after weep their dust: Our own love waking cries to see what's done, While shameful hate sleeps out the afternoon. Be this sweet Helen's knell, and now forget her. Send forth your amorous token for fair Maudlin: The main consents are had; and here we'll stay To see our widower's second marriage-day. COUNTESS. Which better than the first, O dear heaven, bless! Or, ere they meet, in me, O nature, cesse! LAFEU. Come on, my son, in whom my house's name Must be digested, give a favour from you, To sparkle in the spirits of my daughter, That she may quickly come.-- [BERTRAM gives a ring to Lafeu.] By my old beard, And every hair that's on 't, Helen, that's dead, Was a sweet creature: such a ring as this, The last that e'er I took her leave at court, I saw upon her finger. BERTRAM. Hers it was not. KING. Now, pray you, let me see it; for mine eye, While I was speaking, oft was fasten'd to it.-- This ring was mine; and when I gave it Helen I bade her, if her fortunes ever stood Necessitied to help, that by this token I would relieve her. Had you that craft to 'reave her Of what should stead her most? BERTRAM. My gracious sovereign, Howe'er it pleases you to take it so, The ring was never hers. COUNTESS. Son, on my life, I have seen her wear it; and she reckon'd it At her life's rate. LAFEU. I am sure I saw her wear it. BERTRAM. You are deceiv'd, my lord; she never saw it: In Florence was it from a casement thrown me, Wrapp'd in a paper, which contain'd the name Of her that threw it: noble she was, and thought I stood engag'd: but when I had subscrib'd To mine own fortune, and inform'd her fully I could not answer in that course of honour As she had made the overture, she ceas'd, In heavy satisfaction, and would never Receive the ring again. KING. Plutus himself, That knows the tinct and multiplying medicine, Hath not in nature's mystery more science Than I have in this ring: 'twas mine, 'twas Helen's, Whoever gave it you. Then, if you know That you are well acquainted with yourself, Confess 'twas hers, and by what rough enforcement You got it from her: she call'd the saints to surety That she would never put it from her finger Unless she gave it to yourself in bed,-- Where you have never come,--or sent it us Upon her great disaster. BERTRAM. She never saw it. KING. Thou speak'st it falsely, as I love mine honour; And mak'st conjectural fears to come into me Which I would fain shut out. If it should prove That thou art so inhuman,--'twill not prove so:-- And yet I know not:--thou didst hate her deadly. And she is dead; which nothing, but to close Her eyes myself, could win me to believe More than to see this ring.--Take him away. [Guards seize BERTRAM.] My fore-past proofs, howe'er the matter fall, Shall tax my fears of little vanity, Having vainly fear'd too little.--Away with him;-- We'll sift this matter further. BERTRAM. If you shall prove This ring was ever hers, you shall as easy Prove that I husbanded her bed in Florence, Where she yet never was. [Exit, guarded.] KING. I am wrapp'd in dismal thinkings. [Enter a Gentleman.] GENTLEMAN. Gracious sovereign, Whether I have been to blame or no, I know not: Here's a petition from a Florentine, Who hath, for four or five removes, come short To tender it herself. I undertook it, Vanquish'd thereto by the fair grace and speech Of the poor suppliant, who by this, I know, Is here attending: her business looks in her With an importing visage; and she told me In a sweet verbal brief, it did concern Your highness with herself. KING. [Reads.] 'Upon his many protestations to marry me, when his wife was dead, I blush to say it, he won me. Now is the count Rousillon a widower; his vows are forfeited to me, and my honour's paid to him. He stole from Florence, taking no leave, and I follow him to his country for justice: grant it me, O king; in you it best lies; otherwise a seducer flourishes, and a poor maid is undone. DIANA CAPULET.' LAFEU. I will buy me a son-in-law in a fair, and toll this: I'll none of him. KING. The heavens have thought well on thee, Lafeu, To bring forth this discovery.--Seek these suitors:-- Go speedily, and bring again the count. [Exeunt Gentleman, and some Attendants.] I am afeard the life of Helen, lady, Was foully snatch'd. COUNTESS. Now, justice on the doers! [Enter BERTRAM, guarded.] KING. I wonder, sir, since wives are monsters to you. And that you fly them as you swear them lordship, Yet you desire to marry.--What woman's that? [Re-enter Widow and DIANA.] DIANA. I am, my lord, a wretched Florentine, Derived from the ancient Capulet; My suit, as I do understand, you know, And therefore know how far I may be pitied. WIDOW. I am her mother, sir, whose age and honour Both suffer under this complaint we bring, And both shall cease, without your remedy. KING. Come hither, count; do you know these women? BERTRAM. My lord, I neither can nor will deny But that I know them: do they charge me further? DIANA. Why do you look so strange upon your wife? BERTRAM. She's none of mine, my lord. DIANA. If you shall marry, You give away this hand, and that is mine; You give away heaven's vows, and those are mine; You give away myself, which is known mine; For I by vow am so embodied yours That she which marries you must marry me, Either both or none. LAFEU. [To BERTRAM] Your reputation comes too short for my daughter; you are no husband for her. BERTRAM. My lord, this is a fond and desperate creature Whom sometime I have laugh'd with: let your highness Lay a more noble thought upon mine honour Than for to think that I would sink it here. KING. Sir, for my thoughts, you have them ill to friend Till your deeds gain them: fairer prove your honour Than in my thought it lies! DIANA. Good my lord, Ask him upon his oath, if he does think He had not my virginity. KING. What say'st thou to her? BERTRAM. She's impudent, my lord; And was a common gamester to the camp. DIANA. He does me wrong, my lord; if I were so He might have bought me at a common price: Do not believe him. O, behold this ring, Whose high respect and rich validity Did lack a parallel; yet, for all that, He gave it to a commoner o' the camp, If I be one. COUNTESS. He blushes, and 'tis it: Of six preceding ancestors, that gem, Conferr'd by testament to the sequent issue, Hath it been ow'd and worn. This is his wife; That ring's a thousand proofs. KING. Methought you said You saw one here in court could witness it. DIANA. I did, my lord, but loath am to produce So bad an instrument; his name's Parolles. LAFEU. I saw the man to-day, if man he be. KING. Find him, and bring him hither. [Exit an Attendant.] BERTRAM. What of him? He's quoted for a most perfidious slave, With all the spots o' the world tax'd and debauch'd: Whose nature sickens but to speak a truth: Am I or that or this for what he'll utter, That will speak anything? KING. She hath that ring of yours. BERTRAM. I think she has: certain it is I lik'd her, And boarded her i' the wanton way of youth: She knew her distance, and did angle for me, Madding my eagerness with her restraint, As all impediments in fancy's course Are motives of more fancy; and, in fine, Her infinite cunning with her modern grace, Subdu'd me to her rate: she got the ring; And I had that which any inferior might At market-price have bought. DIANA. I must be patient: You that have turn'd off a first so noble wife May justly diet me. I pray you yet,-- Since you lack virtue, I will lose a husband,-- Send for your ring, I will return it home, And give me mine again. BERTRAM. I have it not. KING. What ring was yours, I pray you? DIANA. Sir, much like The same upon your finger. KING. Know you this ring? this ring was his of late. DIANA. And this was it I gave him, being a-bed. KING. The story, then, goes false you threw it him Out of a casement. DIANA. I have spoke the truth. BERTRAM. My lord, I do confess the ring was hers. KING. You boggle shrewdly; every feather starts you.-- [Re-enter Attendant, with PAROLLES.] Is this the man you speak of? DIANA. Ay, my lord. KING. Tell me, sirrah, but tell me true I charge you, Not fearing the displeasure of your master,-- Which, on your just proceeding, I'll keep off,-- By him and by this woman here what know you? PAROLLES. So please your majesty, my master hath been an honourable gentleman; tricks he hath had in him, which gentlemen have. KING. Come, come, to the purpose: did he love this woman? PAROLLES. Faith, sir, he did love her; but how? KING. How, I pray you? PAROLLES. He did love her, sir, as a gentleman loves a woman. KING. How is that? PAROLLES. He loved her, sir, and loved her not. KING. As thou art a knave and no knave.-- What an equivocal companion is this! PAROLLES. I am a poor man, and at your majesty's command. LAFEU. He's a good drum, my lord, but a naughty orator. DIANA. Do you know he promised me marriage? PAROLLES. Faith, I know more than I'll speak. KING. But wilt thou not speak all thou know'st? PAROLLES. Yes, so please your majesty; I did go between them, as I said; but more than that, he loved her,--for indeed he was mad for her, and talked of Satan, and of limbo, and of furies, and I know not what: yet I was in that credit with them at that time that I knew of their going to bed; and of other motions, as promising her marriage, and things which would derive me ill-will to speak of; therefore I will not speak what I know. KING. Thou hast spoken all already, unless thou canst say they are married: but thou art too fine in thy evidence; therefore stand aside.--This ring, you say, was yours? DIANA. Ay, my good lord. KING. Where did you buy it? or who gave it you? DIANA. It was not given me, nor I did not buy it. KING. Who lent it you? DIANA. It was not lent me neither. KING. Where did you find it then? DIANA. I found it not. KING. If it were yours by none of all these ways, How could you give it him? DIANA. I never gave it him. LAFEU. This woman's an easy glove, my lord; she goes off and on at pleasure. KING. This ring was mine, I gave it his first wife. DIANA. It might be yours or hers, for aught I know. KING. Take her away, I do not like her now; To prison with her: and away with him.-- Unless thou tell'st me where thou hadst this ring, Thou diest within this hour. DIANA. I'll never tell you. KING. Take her away. DIANA. I'll put in bail, my liege. KING. I think thee now some common customer. DIANA. By Jove, if ever I knew man, 'twas you. KING. Wherefore hast thou accus'd him all this while? DIANA. Because he's guilty, and he is not guilty: He knows I am no maid, and he'll swear to't: I'll swear I am a maid, and he knows not. Great King, I am no strumpet, by my life; I am either maid, or else this old man's wife. [Pointing to LAFEU.] KING. She does abuse our ears; to prison with her. DIANA. Good mother, fetch my bail.--Stay, royal sir; [Exit WIDOW.] The jeweller that owes the ring is sent for, And he shall surety me. But for this lord Who hath abus'd me as he knows himself, Though yet he never harm'd me, here I quit him: He knows himself my bed he hath defil'd; And at that time he got his wife with child. Dead though she be, she feels her young one kick; So there's my riddle:--One that's dead is quick; And now behold the meaning. [Re-enter Widow with HELENA.] KING. Is there no exorcist Beguiles the truer office of mine eyes? Is't real that I see? HELENA. No, my good lord; 'Tis but the shadow of a wife you see-- The name, and not the thing. BERTRAM. Both, both; O, pardon! HELENA. O, my good lord, when I was like this maid; I found you wondrous kind. There is your ring, And, look you, here's your letter. This it says, 'When from my finger you can get this ring, And are by me with child, &c.'-- This is done: Will you be mine now you are doubly won? BERTRAM. If she, my liege, can make me know this clearly, I'll love her dearly, ever, ever dearly. HELENA. If it appear not plain, and prove untrue, Deadly divorce step between me and you!-- O my dear mother, do I see you living? LAFEU. Mine eyes smell onions; I shall weep anon:-- Good Tom Drum [to PAROLLES], lend me a handkercher: so, I thank thee; wait on me home, I'll make sport with thee: let thy courtesies alone, they are scurvy ones. KING. Let us from point to point this story know, To make the even truth in pleasure flow:-- If thou beest yet a fresh uncropped flower, [To DIANA.] Choose thou thy husband, and I'll pay thy dower; For I can guess that, by thy honest aid, Thou kept'st a wife herself, thyself a maid. Of that and all the progress, more and less, Resolvedly more leisure shall express: All yet seems well; and if it end so meet, The bitter past, more welcome is the sweet. [Flourish.] The king's a beggar, now the play is done; All is well-ended if this suit be won, That you express content; which we will pay With strife to please you, day exceeding day: Ours be your patience then, and yours our parts; Your gentle hands lend us, and take our hearts. [Exeunt.] THE END Publication Date: May 29th 2008 https://www.bookrix.com/-bx.shakespeare

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-sofia-hantzaridis-and-olivia-o-039-donnell-title-not-decided-yet/

Sofia Hantzaridis and Olivia O&#39;Donnell *Title not decided yet* *The Book Isn't Finished* 1 I stood next to the hospital bed as tears slowly rolled down my pale face. I watched his hurt body just lay there. I took a deap breath in between sobs. But, then again, this isn't where my life started to grow, then it fell. You need to know what happened before my heart shattered into a million small, broken pieces. The story unfolds here. Andrew Kent, and his brother that was four years older than him, Isaiah, walked to their classes. They slowly began to split at the freshman and senior hallway. This was my chance to talk to Andrew. I upgraded my walk to a slow jog. Passing people, I became closer to him. Before I knew it I was walking right behind him. But what would I say? "Hi, Andrew," I felt my lips moving. What was he going to do? I don't know. But actually he turned around and smiled. "Hey," he slowed his walk and shifted his body over to the side, to walk next to me. I was actually next to him. "Sup," "Oh, uh, nothin'. Where are you headed?" I asked. "Math, extra help." "Oh, well, you know, I'm pretty good at math. . ." oh my gosh. What was I doing? What was I saying? "I can tutor you, if you'd like," "Sure, I'd love that. I just need to tell Mr. McGlide that I found a tutor. Want to come and wait outside the room for me?" he threw a smile. "Yes," And we were walking. Simple right? No, not really. I have to build up the courage to do that. Outside Mr. McGlide's room, I planted my feet on the blue and gold tiled floor. Blue and gold are our team colors. Maya and Sam passed by. "Hey Aari! What 'cha doin' waitin' outside Mr. M's room?" Maya spoke, as she chewed her bubble gum. "Oh, nothing. I'm just waiting for someone." I itched the back of my head. Maya always made me feel a tad bit awkward. Maya peered into the window in the door, to look into the classroom. "There's no one in there but Mr. McGlide . . . and Andrew, why are you waitin' for him?" she growled. She took her eyes off Andrew, and darted her blue eyes at me. "What's going on?" Sam asked Maya. Sam has always been the dumb one. I know this, because she had to stop playing with Maya's key chain to ask. "Nothin'" I swallowed hard. I hoped Andrew would come out of the door at any second. "Hey, what's that on your-" "Nothing!" I cute Sam off. She pointed to my hearing aid. They didn't know I was deaf. I didn't know how Maya would react. They thought I was on vacation for a month and a half. "Okay, bye. I'm going to be late for class." Maya left. Thank God. Abigail followed shortly after Maya left. "Hi," she waved. "I like your shirt!" Abigail flipped her long pink, green streaked hair behind her shoulder. "Thanks," I put a smile on my face as she left. I leaned against the door. Andrew was so popular. Everyone knew him, in any grade. He had a brother that was a senior, Isaiah. And Isaiah was pretty popular too. Andrew was so, so cute . . . "Ready?" Andrew asked, as he pulled the door open. I nearly fell. "Oh," I caught my breath. "Yeah. Let's go." "So, what do you have this period?" Andrew asked me. "I have science, and you do too," I smiled. "Yeah," HE smiled this time. "You said it before I could," This got pretty awkward. There was no lip movement. This continued, for about five FULL minutes. Then eventually he came up with something good to say. "So, wanna meet me at the corner in the hallway after class?" Andrew looked up and smiled at my blushing face. My face blew up with releif. Then went back to normal. You know, to look like a normal person and not desperate. "Yeah, sure." We broke apart and I felt so good. So good I can't even describe it. 2 Towards the end of class was awful. I hate it when you don't pay attention in class. And you're teacher freaking calls on YOU, out of all the people in the whole class. You. And you just sit there saying, "Uhhh, Ummmm," And it drives me crazy! I don't the answer! Call on someone else freaking teacher! I, of course, had the pleaser of being that person. And I was also the last one to leave the classroom. All my books and binders fell, and the papers fell out. This can't get any worse, right? Oh, no. It can. My pen exploded all over my shirt. What a day. AT LEAST I was meating Andrew at the corner of the hallway. Phew. I walked. I almost ran. I didn't want Andrew to wait that long. He may leave. I was a turn away from the hall. And that, was when Maya tripped me. Yes, I stumbled over her eighty inch gold freaking heals. I wanted to burst into tears. Between the black ink on my blouse, and the people almost stepping on me, this wasn't my day. But I shouldn't cry. I couldn't. I was so close to Andrew. And that's when I realized I was in the middle of the hallway, laying down. I picked myself up, and started to walk. And when I turned, I spotted him, waiting paitently for me. He walked towards me. "Hey Aarihan," Andrew called out. "Andrew," I said under my breath, still grinning. We met. And that's when I remembered my blouse looked like crap. "Here, take my sweat shirt," Andrew's lips spoke. He took of his navy green sweat shirt and put it around my shoulders. I wanted to just hug him and never let go. "You still wanna walk to lunch with me?" Andrews eyes met mine, after he zipped his sweat shirt up so it covers the ink stains. "Yeah," I lost my self starring into his eyes. I don't know how long I continued to do this, but when I realized it, I quickly made it less awkward. "I mean," "I'd be more than happy to walk with you," he threw a smile onto his face. And so we began to walk. Throught the halls, to lunch. We arrived at the beat up two entrance doors to the cafeteria. We exchanged smiles, and then sat at our usual tables. I plopped myself down in the seat next to Sam. Maya always across from us. Why? I don't know. Maya glared at me. I forgot I still had a grin on from brushing against Andrew as we walked to lunch together. I wiped the smile off my face. "Why were you with him?" Maya spoke furiously. Of course, her anger was towards me. "Who?" I asked, dumbly. "You know who, you smart ass. Andrew." "Oh. Yeah. He asked if I wanted to walk with him, so I said yes. Oh, and I wanted to thank you for tripping me a few minutes ago." "My pleasure." Maya smirked. She met Sam's eyes. "Sam, look at Abigail! Doesn't she look pathetic!!" "What is SO wrong with Abigail?" I asked Maya. I waited for a responce, watching her lips. "Look at her. She has enough eye liner on her face, it looks like she did her makeup in the dark. She always wears that light rose lipstick, but occasionally wears that purple lipstick. Ugh! She presses hard on the lips to make her lipstick bold. She has pink hair, and to top it all off, she has green streaks in her hair. Her hair even goes past her arms when they're down. Aari, you can't tell me she's pretty." I almost gasped. Abigail is beautiful!! "Yeah . . . Abigail's hair looks like a lolipop . . ." Sam took a bite out of her hippo shaped sandwich after she spoke. A different shaped sandwhich everyday. Get used to it. I did. "Whatever. Oh, no. Abigail is coming. Don't look into her eyes. You'll turn to stone." I gave Maya a glare. Sam burried herself into her sweater. I made eye contact. And smiled. And waved. I was a peace maker. Abigail smiled back and afterwards left. I can't believe she had no friends, even though she was so nice. "Why'd you do that? You made eye contact!" Maya exclaimed. Sam began to feel my skin. "She doesn't feel stone to me," Sam said. She stopped. "Maybe you guys are related!" "Shut up, Sam." Maya's pissy mood created a smile on my face. "Why!" Sam's eyes started to tear up. "Here's a carrot." Maya handed her an orange thin carrot. "Ooh! I love carrots!" Sam took it and shoved it into her mouth. I love Sam. She's halarious. I held in my laugher as she said, "Ooh . . . Brain freeze!!!" But I couldn't allow Maya- or anyone in school- find out I'm deaf. How do I know they won't treat me like Abigail? 3 I sat in the driver's seat of my dad's light blue jeep. In Clarkdale, Arizona you only need to be 14 to get your driver's permit. 15 to have your actual driver's license. I was 14. I was driving to Andrew's house to tutor him, if you were wondering. "Which house is it," my dad asked, tightly gripping the handle on the car door. No, I wasn't that good of a driver. But it would be cooler if I pulled up to Andrew's house in the driver's seat. Andrew was born in January- so he already got his driver's license. Of course I was born in August. Late birthday! "Andrew said he lived in a small brick house," I said, keeping my eyes on the bumpy old road. "Is it that one over there?" he pointed to a small brick house. Yep. Is was that one. "Bye, dad. Love you," I hugged him and jumped out of the car. I slowly started to walk towards Andrew's house. This was going to be so amazing. I finished walking up their dirt path, and reached the door. My dad had already jumped out of the passenger's seat of the jeep, and got into the driver's seat. He had already left. I knocked on the door. I didn't know what else to do . . . The door started to open. Isaiah. He opened the door. "So, you're Aarihan. The one that's gonna 'tutor' my little brother. Treat him good," Isaiah said. What did he mean? "What do you mean, 'Treat him good,'" I asked him. Isaiah smiled and laughed a little. "Aarihan, a girl as pretty as you, and my brother, couldn't be 'just friends'." Isaiah made me smile. "You can set up your stuff on the kitchen table, help yourself to anything you want in our fridge or cabinets." "Thanks," I couldn't let him think that me and Andrew were together. Though it sounded nice, I just couldn't. "But, Andrew and I have nothing going on," "Right, I'll go get him." Isaiah left and headed left, there was no upstairs or downstairs to this house. Not even a basement or attic. One floor only. I sat down on the wobbly, old wooden chair around his wooden kitchen table. The table and chairs looked homemade. "Hey," Andrew said as he popped his head into the kitchen. "Hey. You're brother's really nice. I set up my stuff here, now what do you have for homework?" I tried hard to not speak in a 'I really like you but I'm trying not to show you' voice. "Mr. McGlide doesn't always do homework. I didn't get any tonight. Maybe you can just write down some problems and I'll try to figure 'em out." "Kay, can I see some of your work so I can figure out what you're doing in math class?" "Sure. I'll hand you my whole notebook," he reached into his dusty green backpack and pulled out a black and white marble notebook. "Gonna make some popcorn, want any?" "No, thanks," I started writing down some problems on a blank sheet of paper. "Done," "Man, you're quick." Andrew said as he set the microwave timer for one minute. "I only wrote down three," I said as he smiled. Andrew came a little closer and then went back to the beeping microwave. Okay, flickering. I don't know if it was beeping. If I didn't tell you yet, Andrew isn't that smart of a kid. That's why I'm not in his math class, I'm in honors!I have honors every class but science. Science is the one class I have with Andrew, besides Spanish. Andrew came back with the bowl of popcorn and plopped himself down in another wooden splintery chair. "You sure you don't want some?" Andrew asked me, shoving the bowl towards me. "Oh, no, thanks." I handed him the papers with the math problems. "These problems should be around where you're at in math." "Andrew I'm going to Max's house. Catch ya' later," Isaiah said quickly. "Okay. She'll be here 'til . . ." he look at me, and I whipsered to him 4:30. "4:30," Andrew responded. Within seconds Isaiah was out the door. "Who's Max?" I asked, stupidly. "Isaiah's girlfriend," Andrew looked at my nervous face and shot a smile at it. "So, you wanna help me out," I leaned across the beat up, wooden table. "Uh, yeah. What problem don't you understand?" I asked caringly. "Oh, not the paper," Andrew shoved the paper towards the end of the table, making it fall on the floor. "There's a girl I really like," "Oh, really?" I almost cried, I know it's not me. "Do ya' think I know her?" "Yeah, actually you two are pretty close," his blue eyes looked directly into my green eyes. Maya. Andrew liked Maya. Freaking Maya! I bet Maya would LOVE this. But then again, what chance do I have with Andrew? He's a freaking popular day dream. "So, what do you need help with?" I kind of growled, but in the nicest way possable because I was still mad. At Maya. "I wanna know how to ask her out," he explained. Ugh, the look on Maya's face when he would ask her out. I could be mean about it, but I'm just too nice. "Well, I think you should just be casual. Be yourself. Don't do anything fancy," "Thanks," he lifted his head up to look me in the eyes, once more. "Aarihan, would you like to go out with me?" "YES!" my face lightened up. I was blushing all over my face, and forced myself to stop. You know, to look casual. "Pick y'up at 7, on Friday night." today was Tuesday. I had about 5 more days. I exploded with happiness. 4 "A date?" Sam asked me. "With . . . ANDREW?" Maya was furious, but I loved seeing her like this. Andrew was the popluar guy. Maya was the popular girl. Should they be together? No. "Yes, he asked me out." I responded to them. "How did this even happen?" Maya is halarious when she's mad- at least in my eyes. "Well, yesterday, I was at his house," "You were at his house!?" Maya had steam coming out of her ears. "Yep," I walked away and headed to my next class, which was with Andrew. It'd be awkward if I see him up until Friday. Today, Tuesday. What would I do or say when I saw him? I hurried to my next class. I reached the classroom and noticed all the desks were seperated. That means there is a test today. I wonder on what, we haven't done anything in forever. All my class does is sit around and talk while Miss Khans is never here. But today, of all days, she was here. The white test paper sat on top of my desk. My eyes stared at it. Mass? We learned that like five years ago. Maybe it's a review. "You'll have until the last ten minutes of class to finish this test. You may begin, good luck." Miss Khans hated teaching, so much. She tells us that she only does this for the money. Anyway, the test was going to be so easy. If it was all mass, I'd ace this class. Mass was a topic we did a while back. So far, so good. Then, I hit the eighth question. I forgot everything there is to know about triple beam balances. How I hated this. I sat there like a moron. After a while I decided to skip number eight. But I couldn't. The next fifteen questions were all about triple beam balances. At least I could do questions twenty-three through thirty. After I finished, I was screwed. I still had those sixteen questions left unmarked. There were fifteen more minutes left of the period. Man, was I screwed. Five, depressing, minutes went by and Miss Khans insructed the class to give in the tests. I passed my test to the person sitting a desk infront of me, and he passed it to the kid infront of him, along with his test. I was done. Failed. Right there on the spot. 5 At home, I lay flat on my bed. Andrew asked me out! I am still in shock from yesterday. I slapped myself to wake up from my never-ending dream. No, it's definetly real life. Plus, that really hurt! I walked down all twenty stairs to get some food in my kitchen. I haven't explained my house to you yet. Well, our house has five floors. And then there's the basement. My house is skinny but tall. The main floor. The kitchen and the dining room. Bathroom next to the kitchen. Each floor has about two floors and a bathroom. The second floor. The TV room on your right. Family, or dad and daughter, room on your left. No bathroom. The third floor. My bedroom on the left. Guest room on the right, not that we ever have any guests. Bathroom built into my room. My bedroom has built in red flashy alarms with no sound. I'll get into that later. The fourth floor. Mini lounge, other wise known as my lounge, on your right. Then, the huge lounge, or dad's lounge, on your left. Finally, the fifth floor. My dad's bedroom straight ahead. Bathroom on your left. Living room on your right. Well, now that you know this, I walked above 20 stairs. Ten steps each floor. Anyway, I'm hungry. My microwave Mac and Cheese was ready. I could tell by the green flashing lights going off on the walls. Green is microwave. Orange is oven. Yellow is toaster. Purple is dishwasher. Blue is stove. Red is someone broke into my house, but those lights only go off in my room. The Mac and Cheese was so good. I added the cheese sause into the plastic container filled of macaroni. A cold hand touched my shoulder and I whirled around. Dad, I tried to read his lips. "Aarihan, get to your homework. You know, you're almost a tenth grader. You don't want to fail now," "No, I can just do it later," his shocked expression apon his face of me not listening made me shiver. "I'm having a snack. I can do it after, dad." He walked away with no words said after that. He wanted me to go to some great deaf college. Theredore, he wants me to get my grades up and stuff. I finished my Mac and Cheese and threw the rest out. Onto my homework, I always do homework in my lounge. 6 Since my mom had expired, it'd been so tragic. She died when I was eight. That was six full years ago. But I shouldn't talk about her now. Every time I do, I break into tears. I'm actually tearing up now. Four more hours until school ends, I might just tell you then. Lunch was next period. I'm surprisingly not hungry at all. Social studies was just about to end. Our social studies teacher is so bad looking. Grey and white looking beard, that goes up to his ears. Bald. I can't stand him, he has a mean personality too. I'm growing a little hungry. Can't wait to get to get to lunch. And then there was the bell. Onto lunch. The eating period. Today was our damn picinic for school. Everyone hates the annual picnics. It's disgusting. The wooden picinic tables are all filled with gum and what not. They served the awful pepperoni, cheese, and turkey sandwiches. The cheese was probably five weeks pasts it's expiration date. The turkey tasted like rotten apples. The pepporoni had no flavor. What a picinic. Lunch ladies were done serving right about when everyone started to throw out their lunch. Maya, Sam, Andrew, TJ, and I talking. This was all too hard! Reading everyone's lips, or at least trying to. If I looked at TJ, then looked at Sam, they'd be talking about two completely different things! "Aarihan," Sam faced me, good thing I was looking at her. "What is that behind your ear!" My hearing aids. No. I couldn't respond. Andrew would find out I'm deaf. Maya would find out I'm deaf. Maya. But everyone was silent. I looked at everyone. From Maya, to Andrew, to Sam, to TJ, no one was speaking. They were all looking at me, waiting for me to respond to Sam's question. "It's," I began to tell them. "A hearing aid. It's a hearing aid! Aarihan is deaf!" Maya exclaimed. She pisses me off. "What? Since when?" Andrew asked. He kind of looked upset. But he can't be mad! It's all freaking Sam and Maya's fault! Well, I can't really blame Sam, because she was just being stupid and wondering. "Yes," I got a knot in my throat. I gulped real hard. "I wasn't sick for a month and a half. Well, I was sick but-" "Please. You were probably born deaf, bitch. And just never told us." Maya put her hand on her hip. "Okay," I took a deep breath, and started to tell my story. "I was very sick, and instead of getting better, all I would do is just get worse over time. After a week or two, my father took me to the hospital. The nurse took my blood, and ran some tests. I took the sight test, and the hearing test. After running the hearing tests, results said I failed. After running some more tests, doctors revealed I was deaf." "Then what's with those hearing aids?" Maya shot a hard question at me, but I was able to answer it. "Well, I can hear some backround noises, it allows me to know what's going on around me," I quickly looked at Andrew, and tried to read his expression. Depressed, angry, confused, afraid. All at once. "like, I can hear the vibration in music," "Hmm, whatever," Maya hissed again. Wow, what a pissy day for her. "All we need to know is that Aarihan is different," Bitch. I knew it! I knew she would treat me like Abigail! Screw Maya! I started walking away. I don't care about Maya anymore. I gave her everything, knowing that she is a total bitch! "AARIHAN WATCH OUT!" Andrew scolded. Everyone else heard him but me. I had no idea he even said that, he told me afterwards. I just kept walking. The next thing I knew, I was laying flat on the pavement. Andrew was on top of me. A second or two later, a call strolled by with a man with a shocked look upon his face. Andrew saved my life. I was about to get hit by a car. I sobbed into his arms almost immediately. We didn't let each other go. It was the best feeling I ever had, and it lasted for five minutes. 7 "Are you sure you don't want to go to the nurse?" Andrew asked again, for the third time. "I'm fine, really," I smiled at him. It's like we're already together. "If anything, you'd be going to the nurse, you're the one that saved me," "Alright, I just wanted to make sure you were okay," Andrew responded. Sam, Maya, Andrew, TJ and I walking through the halls. The "gang". Everyone in this school was about to find out I was deaf. Maya's rumors spread like butter on toast. Maya was now going to treat me like Abigail, and all the "outsiders". The "gang" split to go to our lockers. TJ was in my next class, which was English. His last name is Smuteck, mine is Smith. Therefore, we sat in assigned seats next to each other in every class. You know, because we're in every single class together. The room had two desks only to sit next to eachother. I stepped foot into the classroom and I spotted TJ already sitting in his seat. TJ was the late type of guy. I walked over to our two-desk spot and placed my books on the table, probably making no noise at all. "Huh, early today?" I jokingly asked TJ. "Yeah. I'm done with this late crap. I got way to many detentions," TJ smiled at me and laughed. "Well, let's see how that goes," we exchanged smiles while I sat down. "So," TJ's smile got wiped off his face almost immediatly. "That was some lunch," "Yeah," I knew what he was talking about. Finding out I was deaf. The almost-car-accident. "The food was so awful," "The pepperoni was bland," "Yup," "Good afternoon class," Mr. Shawn greeted us as he walked into the classroom. "Good afternoon Mr. Shawn," the class answered him. Mr. Shawn went right to his desk and grabbed some papers. Next thing he did was hand them out and say, "Class, read the passage to yourself. Then answer the questions with your neighbor." Time flew as TJ and I both finished reading. "Question one?" I quietly whispered to TJ. We were the smartest ones in the class, so we always finished first. It was awkward, but funny at the same time. "Are we seriously going to answer these questions? Or are we going to do what we always do?" TJ whispered back. "You mean, goof off and play would you rather, then do the questions when three other groups start? What the heck." "So, would you rather eat paint out of a jar filled with spiders, or eat paint out of a jar filled with baby teeth?" TJ asked me, I shortly responded. "Baby teeth!" "Why?" "Because I have this huge fear of spiders, and baby teeth are so cute!" "Perhaps I chose I bad would you rather," "Whatever! Would you rather eat peanut butter off a hobo's foot, or eat peanut butter off the grass?" "Neither, I'm allergic to peanut butter," "It doesn't matter! Choose one!" "The grass." We both giggled for a little while. We've been friends since pre-k. We go way back. "I'll do the questions, you work on a would you rather paper," I told him, as he took a piece of loose leaf out of his binder. I finished the questions after ten minutes. I tapped his wrist and we traded papers. I got his would you rather sheet and he got the answer sheet. His questions were deffinetly bazaar. Would you rather swim in a swimming pool of jello or pudding? Would you rather miss your birthday for a year, or miss New Year's for a year? Would you rather eat- TJ's finger tapped my shoulder. His lips read, "I'm done with copying done the answers." "Cool. There's like five more minutes of class left," just as Mr. Shawn started speaking. "In these last five minutes of class, just review your notes for the test next Friday." Five minutes went by like that. Off to my next class, which was Spanish. 8 Spanish class. Andrew, Sam, Abigail and TJ. "Buenas tardes clase." Mrs. Martinez spoke. Which, by the way, means good afternoon class. Since I'm in ninth grade now, all we speak is Spanish. Which is soo annoying. Teacher only speaks Spanish, and the students only speak Spanish. Even if we have a question, we have to ask it in Spanish. By the way, I'll be here to translate for you. "Buenas tardes señora Martínez" the class answered her. "Hoy en día, la clase, vamos a estar hablando con nuestros socios españoles en nosotros mismos." Mrs. Martinez said, "Today, class, we will be talking to our partners in Spanish about ourselves." Abigail's hand shot up into the air. Mrs. Martinez asked her, "Sí?" which, I think, everybody knows what that means. "Qué socios?" Abigail asked. "What partners?" "Voy a asignar los socios." Mrs. Martinez responded. "I will assign the partners." Mrs. Martinez turned on her computer, which took about five or ten minutes. During her struggle, the class talked to their neighbors. Unlike my english classroom, each desk was by it's self. Almost like each desk was it's own island. The computer finally turned before she said, "Por último. Sam, tendrá que trabajar con TJ. Abigail, tendrá que trabajar con Amy. Andrew, tendrá que trabajar con Aarihan," which means, "Finally. Sam, you will work with TJ. Abigail, you will work with Amy. Andrew, you will work with Aarihan," I stopped listening when she said my name. Andrew and I were going to talk to each other about ourselves in Spanish? Not the best way to start a relationship. "Obtener con sus socios asignados y comenzar." Mrs. Martinez said, "Get with your assigned partners and begin." Andrew walked over to me and held my hand. "Let's go in the back of the room, to sit in the beanbags." he spoke. "Okay," We walked over and plopped our bodies into two seperate beanbags. "So, let's hear it," Andrew said. "What?" I asked him. "Talk to me in Spanish," a smile apeared on his face but not on mine. "I can't talk Spanish anymore," I confessed. "Aarihan, even if you can't hear yourself speak, and you sound like an idiot, I won't make fun of you." Andrew's face grew a more serious look. "I can't unedrstand Spanish either anymore, because I am still new to lip reading. I can pretty much only read it." "Don't worry, we've got another twenty minutes left in the period. Then you have math, your expert class. Let's just talk and fool around within those twenty minutes." I nodded and spotted Mrs. Martinez looking at Andrew and I. She knows we're not speaking Spanish! Oh my gosh, what am I going to do if she comes over? Great, she was walking over towards us. "How's it going guys?" Mrs. Martinez asked us, actually in english. "Fine, Aarihan was just saying that she's an athlete, and she runs a lot." Andrew said. So kind! "Yeah, Andrew just said how he," I started to say. "Aarihan? Your voice sounds a bit different. Do you have a cold?" Mrs. Martinez asked me. I did have a deaf accent, I haven't talked to her in a LONG time. "Umm," I began. Today everyone's cutting me off! "Aarihan's always spoke like that," Andrew said kindly. "Aarihan y que debería volver a españoles ahora," "Aarihan and I should get back to Spanish now," And she left. Ten more minutes of class left. I can do this. "Thanks," I began to say. "For what?" Andrew asked me. "Saving me, Mrs. Martinez was about to find out I was deaf." "You know, that's not such a bad thing." "What do you mean?" "She could help you understand Spanish now that you're deaf." "That'd be three complete languages. English, Spanish and Sign Language. No thanks." "Bell's about to ring," 9 Listening to my iPhone's music on the bus, I got a text message from Andrew. It read, "Hey Aarihan. Call me, I'll talk about the plans for tonight. I can't talk about it at school because you know Maya, anyway, call me." As the text said to call him, I followed. Going into my contacts app, I searched his name. I have over fifty contacts, so it's hard to "look and scroll" through my contacts for his name. I hit his contact and softly tapped the call button. I wouldn't call it a "button". I'd call it more of a "spot on the screen". Then I just remembered. I can't call him. I quickly ended the call and texted him back saying, "Sorry, Andrew. I can't call you. I know it takes a while to remember it, "by heart", I guess you could say that. I forgot, myself. Let's just text, can we do that?" I send the message, and shortly after that I put my phone to "sleep". Not turned off. But on vibrate, and still on, but not being used. In my pocket it went, as I continued to listen to music. No soonder did I put my phone into my pocket, I felt a vibration came from my phone. Sliding the screen to unlock my phone, the bus stopped at yet another stop. I read Andrew's text. It saying, "Sorry, I totally forgot. But what do you want to do tonight? Where do you want to go?" Damn, that was I text I couldn't answer. What SHOULD we do? Should we go out to dinner, or the movies, or iceskating . . . Another vibration shook my hand. Another text from Andrew. And this one read, "I'll do whatever you want to do, we could go out to the iceskating rink and stop for some icecream afterwards. That's a possibility." I knew that was a good idea, it really was. I have the cutest outfit for iceskating. I responded, "Iceskating and icecream sounds fun. I'll talk to you on the bus, it's almost close to your stop. Bye!" I got a new message from Maya after I sent the one to Andrew. It read, "Hey, Aari. Wanna hang tonite?" I didn't respond, because I knew what she was doing. *Trying to make me NOT go on a date with Andrew* A pop-up occured on my screen just as I was about to turn my phone asleep. A text message from Andrew. This one said, "Oh, sorry. I'm not going on my bus today. I slept over a family member's house last night. Going on their bus. Sorry! See you at school" Ug. I wasn't even going to talk to Andrew on the bus. I went back to listening to my music, while we were four stops away from the school. 10 My dad picked me up after school that day. He jumped out of the driver's seat and I jumped in, as he sat in the passenger's seat. I drove home as seven hundred high-schoolers invaded the town. I some how managed to get around all of them. One of them was Andrew. Publication Date: December 28th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-oliviaodonnelleee

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Autumn Eve Poore Fallen Angel Not everything is as it seems... Prologue Duh-dump, duh-dump, duh-dump. The sound of my heart was all that filled my head. As the blood and adrenaline pumped through my veins, I stood there, looking Death in the eye. Yet still I didn’t fight back, I didn’t move, I just stared. In awe of this presence, in awe of the way Death looked, in awe of the sanity that Death held. Breathing slowly, a sweet sent rolled over me, a scent so sweet it was nauseating. As Death stared me in the face it to just stood there, as if in awe over me. Me, just a puny little speck on Death’s list and it looked as if it was in awe of me. Death, as mesmerizing as it was, moved, making my heart jump start into panic mode. My skin suddenly felt cold, my breathing got quick and shallow, my heart sputtered and my blood ran cold. It was only until now that I realized who Death was. Death was the person I held most dearly to me. Whoosh! Death was gone like that, leaving me empty and scared. A single feather floated down and landed on my stomach, a feather that was black, with a red tip. Chapter One: Did It Hurt? “Did you get your book report done?” Stephanie asked, as if I was paying attention. An absent nod was all she got back. “Hey, will you get out of that book and actually listen to me for once in your life?” Stephanie said this while snatching my latest addiction out of my hand. “Hey! I was trying to read that!” I said in shock, the only reason I didn’t punch her is because of the fact that we have been friends since kindergarten, and the fact that she had my book. She just smirked, put my book mark into place and read the cover. “My Blood Approves? What kind of book is that? It’s probably some vampire book isn’t it?” She remarked as she flipped the book over and scanned the back. She tossed the book back at me, and I nearly tumbled backwards trying to catch it. “So, have you finished your book report?” She asked again. “I’ve done told you yes.” “No, you nodded as if I were just some little kid asking if my picture was pretty.”
“My bad! It’s not my fault that I like to read,” I grumbled, getting slightly irritated. I shoved the book into my bag as the bus pulled up to my house. Stephanie got up and pushed past the people that were in our way while I just followed. Some jerk football player tripped me while I walked past. I fell and hit the ground hard. I landed on my elbow and my stuff scattered everywhere. Stephanie stopped and turned around. “What the-” Is all she got out before the jock asked if I had a nice trip. Jessica stepped around me as I fumbled to get all of my stuff picked up. Jessica stood in between me and the tripper. “Stand up,” She ordered in a stern, kinda scary tone. “Why should I listen to a shrimp girl like you?” He retorted. “Stand up,” She said again, but this time in a low growl, she even narrowed her eyes at him. You wouldn’t think she could sound that creepy and murderous because she was only five three, and me, well I was five foot ten and I couldn’t beat up a marshmallow. “Okay then,” the jock said standing up and fixing his jacket into the right place, “So, what’re you going to do? Hit me and leave a red mark?” He smirked. Bad mistake. Right at that moment Stephanie reared her arm back as far as it would go and let loose. She hit him with only half of her strength and still managed to knock a few teeth out. She put her foot on his chest and bent down to look him in the face. “Oh, I’m sorry! Did I leave a mark?” She said sarcastically, “Maybe next time you’ll think twice before messing with me and my friend, Pretty Boy.” Stephanie turned around, helped me up, and we left to go to my house. It was raining hard outside, so me and Stephanie booked it toward the house. We flew in the door laughing so hard the we fell. As we giggled non-stop, we took off our wet shoes and stumbled into my room. She plopped on the bed and sighed. “I think I just got abs from laughing so hard,” she said, kind of breathless. I tossed her some dry sweatpants and a shirt and got some out for myself. We got dressed and lingered into the kitchen. “So, what do ya wanna eat? We have left over mexican food,” I said, knowing her knack for foreign foods. “Nah, no mexican, the tortillas get all soggy if they’re left in the fridge over night,” she explained. “Good point.” “Got any candy?” She asked. I turned around slowly with a sly look on my face. “Since when did I not have candy?” I said slyly. She formed a devilish smile on her face and we both ran for my room. It was hard though due to the fact that we were running on linoleum while wearing socks. We slid into my room, and since my bed was high enough, I went halfway under it. I wiggled the rest of the way under, nudged a board loose, and grabbed the bag of candy. I peeked out from under the bed. “Shut the door! You know how Mama is ‘bout candy,” I said in a whispery tone. My mom had this weird thing about no sweets unless on occasions. She was a real health head... if those even exist... Stephanie shut the door and pulled me out from under the bed. “What do you have?” She asked “What don’t I have?” I said with a smirk. I pulled out a ton of candy, set aside six pieces and put the rest back in the bag , and set it on the bed. We started eating the candy like there was no tomorrow. We were on our third piece when my mom opened the door. I turned around and threw my hand in the air, throwing my candy. Stephanie, on the other hand, dropped hers and dove for the bed. She landed on the bag and turned sideways. “Hi, Katheryn!” She said in an shaky voice. My mom’s stern look made it obvious that she was a little ticked off. With a deep sigh I picked up the candy that had fallen on the floor and got the bag out from under Stephanie. “That’s what I thought,” my mom said as she took the candy from us. She walked into the kitchen and chunked it in the trash, brining back some carrots. “If your hungry eat these,” she said handing the carrots to me. After that she left. “Dang, this sucks!” Stephanie said as she poked at her carrot. I opened my bedroom window, and chunked it out towards the woods. It had stopped raining and I saw a little bunny run up and take the carrot. “Cool,” I said as the bunny hopped back into the woods. Stephanie tossed her carrot out the window and hit the bunny in the back. The furious little fuzz ball dropped my carrot, turned around and attacked the thing that hit his back. After realizing that it was a carrot, he looked at the sky as if it would drop more carrots. It grabbed the two carrots and struggled to drag them back to his home. I plopped down on the bed next to Stephanie and we looked at the ceiling, talking about random teenage junk. She said something about GreenDay and how she like Evanescence more. That brought something back from my memory, something I had forgotten. I jumped off the bed and rummaged through my CD’s, half of them falling to the floor. “What’re you doing?” Stephanie asked me in a puzzled tone. I ignored her question and continued to rummage. When I found what I wanted I stood up, opened my CD player and popped in the CD. We sat there for what seemed like hours listening to endless songs from Depeche Mode. We sung along to songs like “All I Ever Wanted” and “Precious”. I stood up and started dancing around my room when my mom came in. She went from having a confused look on her face to having the biggest smile ever. She came in grabbed my hands and we started to dance. Stephanie laughed as she watched us make complete and utter fools of ourselves. After the song was over, my mom laughed and told us that supper was ready. Stephanie and I raced to the kitchen and we slid halfway past the table trying to stop. We sat down at our seats and Mama joined. Tonight we were eating salad with grilled chicken, and all those other good toppings that you eat with salad. After we all ate, we piled up in the car to take Stephanie home. The car ride was fun and consisted of the ‘Men are the Lower Species’ speech from my mother. When we got home, me and Mama curled up on the couch and watched TV until I fell asleep, then my mom woke me up and I went to my room and fell asleep. Sometime during the middle of the night, I heard a scuffling sound at my window. It sounded like someone was trying to grab the edge and hang there. I opened my eyes and looked toward the window. I saw a piece of what looked like a giant bird wing. I jumped up and turned on my light. I ran over to my window and flung it open. On the edge of the window was a rather large black feather with a red tip. I picked up the feather and strolled over to my desk. I sat the feather down and walked back over to the window. I looked out to the woods and saw the little bunny from earlier. “I don’t suppose you put that feather there, did you?” I asked the rabbit. In return the bunny stood up and twitched its ear. After that It scurried away. I shut my window and turned off the light, sinking back into my bed. I slept some what peacefully for the rest of the night. “Ugh, where am I?” I said out loud as I awoke in a dark forest. The sharp cold, and the smell of frost woke me almost instantly. As I gasp from the shock of the cold; I looked around. The moon shone brightly through the leafless trees, and a large crow flew by me. I stood up slowly and realized the clothes I had on. I had on a dress that stopped an inch above my knees, with some kind of weird shoes on. My arms cover in thin, black, see through sleeves. It was embroidered with great detail, plus my hair pulled back except for my bangs, which I struggled to keep them out of my eyes. I heard the heavy beat of wings and looked toward the sky. “Is that a huge bird?” I wondered out loud to myself. As the bird looking ting got closer, I realized that it was no bird; but a man with beautiful wings. Then something hit me. The wings were black... black with a red tip. Publication Date: January 17th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-autumneve131997

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-skylar997-runaway/

Skylar997 Runaway the abuse Mistakes Hi my name is Avalon, my life is not easy. You see, one year after my birth my mom and my dad were driving me to my friends house. I was secure in my high seat but i was hungry. I started to cry very loud. My mom gave me my bottle but when she turned around we got hit by a car. My mom died, i remember the expression on my dads face when he brought me home and told me what happened. I was devastated, he blamed all of it on me. He wasn't who he used to be anymore. He was worse, he used to get me a new outfit every week. Now he throws me and punches me, i even was sick from the time he punched me in the stomach and he did it again. When i was just three i had to teach myself how to read and write. I had to grow fast, and trust me it wasn't easy. He started to smoke, the house soon started to smell like fire. His attitude grew worse. If i didn't get his breakfast completely right he would slap me across my face. He didn't put me in school so i secretly sneaked out and went. He would think i went out to buy groceries. I was only five when i had to go out on my own and buy groceries. I made only one friend. Her name is Skylar. We were like sisters. I had to tell her, so the next day i did. I slowly waited for everyone to leave the hallway then i gently grabbed her wrist. I whispered,"Can i trust you"? She responded,"Of course, whats on your mind"? I said quickly,"follow me". I went into the janitors room and told her," My dad abuses me". Her eyes widened but then she started to laugh. "Your kidding me right", she responded after she laughed. I looked at her seriously then her smile faded. " You are kidding, right", she said worrying. "Would i ever kid about this"?, i said seriously. She said worrying," Pack your bags and at 5:00 A.M. go to my house. I said,"He will kill me if he found out i ran away". She put her hand on my shoulder and asked,"How long has this been going on". I started crying and told her "fifteen years" She gasped and said," You mean your dad abused you for fifteen years, your SIXTEEN, and you never told anyone"! I cried and nodded my head. Since my dad bought a home phone i secretly took it into my room and called my friend with it. He forgot about it the next. I sneaked out the door at 4:55 A.M. Skylar's parents were kind of rich so she was rich, she gave me my own room. I got to have my dream room. I had a werewolf/angel themed room. I thanked Skylar,"Thank you so much for everything Sky". "Your my best friend forever after life and in life with no exceptions, no need to thank me". We hugged each other and went into my room. I even got to have a beaded door well it was kind of weird but awesome. We would study once a week, she even helped me with my grammar since i didn't go to school till i was nine. The next day when i came home i saw my dad at the door and i hid in the bushes. My friend lived in the neighborhood but was moving to South Carolina. Dad,"Have you seen my daughter, she ran away". Skylar's parents,"No, we haven't. You have the wrong house" I sighed in relief. When i thought it was safe i came out. My dad came up behind me and put his hands over my mouth. He screamed in my ear," DON'T YOU EVER RUN AWAY FROM ME LIKE THAT YOU HERE ME"! I whispered," y-yes d-dad". My dad screamed again,"I CAN'T HEAR YOU"! i said loudly," YES SIR"! He slapped me across my face and screamed," I! CAN'T! HEAR! YOU"! I started crying and he slapped me, then through me on the concrete floor. My dad carelessly threw me onto the car and screamed,"I CAN'T HEAR YOU"! "STOP CRYING".! I screamed as loud at the top of my lungs right into his face," YES SIR NOW GET OUT OF MY FACE YOU JERK, IT'S NOT MY FAULT MOM DIED AND IT ISN'T YOURS EITHER. SO IF YOU CAN'T HEAR ME NOW YOU MUST BE DEAF. I RAN AWAY FOR ONE REASON, YOU AND YOUR ABUSE. SO JUST SHUT UP AND STOP SLAPPING ME"! He slapped me so hard my cheek started to bleed. He then picked me up and through me onto the road. I was trying to get up when i heard a car honk their horn. Text: DO NOT COPY! All rights reserved. Publication Date: June 23rd 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-skylar997

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-francis-beaumont-john-fletcher-a-king-and-no-king/

Francis Beaumont & John Fletcher A King, and No King Persons Represented in the Play. Arbaces, King of Iberia. Tigranes, King of Armenia. Gobrias, Lord Protector, and Father of Arbaces. Bacurius, another Lord. Mardonius.) Bessus, ) Two Captains Ligo[n]es, Father of Spaconia. Two Gentlemen. Three Men and a Woman. Philip, a servant, and two Citizens Wives. A Messenger. A Servant to Bacurius. Two Sword-men. A Boy. Arane, ) The [Queen-Mother. Panthea,) Her Daughter. Spaconia,) A Lady Daughter of Ligones Mandane,) A waiting woman, and other attendants. * * * * * Actus primus. Scena prima. * * * * * Enter Mardonius and Bessus, Two Captains. Mar. Bessus, the King has made a fair hand on't, he has ended the Wars at a blow, would my sword had a close basket hilt to hold Wine, and the blade would make knives, for we shall have nothing but eating and drinking. Bes. We that are Commanders shall do well enough. Mar. Faith Bessus, such Commanders as thou may; I had as lieve set thee Perdue for a pudding i'th' dark, as Alexander the Great. Bes. I love these jests exceedingly. Mar. I think thou lov'st 'em better than quarrelling Bessus, I'le say so much i'thy behalf, and yet thou 'rt valiant enough upon a retreat, I think thou wouldst kill any man that stopt thee if thou couldst. Bes. But was not this a brave Combate Mardonius? Mar. Why, didst thou see't? Bes. You stood wi'me. Mar. I did so, but me thought thou wink'dst every blow they strook. Bes. Well, I believe there are better souldiers than I, that never saw two Princes fight in lists. Mar. By my troth I think so too Bessus, many a thousand, but certainly all that are worse than thou have seen as much. Bes. 'Twas bravely done of our King. Mar. Yes, if he had not ended the wars: I'me glad thou dar'st talk of such dangerous businesses. Bes. To take a Prince prisoner in the heart of's own Country in single combat. Mar. See how thy blood curdles at this, I think thou couldst be contented to be beaten i'this passion. Bes. Shall I tell you truly? Mar. I. Bes. I could willingly venture for't. Mar. Um, no venture neither Bessus. Bes. Let me not live, if I do not think 'tis a braver piece of service than that I'me so fam'd for. Mar. Why, art thou fam'd for any valour? Bes. Fam'd! I, I warrant you. Mar. I'me e'en heartily glad on't, I have been with thee e're since thou cam'st to th'wars, and this is the first word that ever I heard on't, prethee who fames thee. Bes. The Christian world. Mar. 'Tis heathenishly done of'em in my conscience, thou deserv'st it not. Bes. Yes, I ha' don good service. Mar. I do not know how thou mayst wait of a man in's Chamber, or thy agility of shifting of a Trencher, but otherwise no service good Bessus. Bes. You saw me do the service your self. Mar. Not so hasty sweet Bessus, where was it, is the place vanish'd? Bes. At Bessus desp'rate redemption. Mar. At Bessus desp'rate redemption, where's that? Bes. There where I redeem'd the day, the place bears my name. Mar. Pray thee, who Christened it? Bes. The Souldiers. Mar. If I were not a very merrily dispos'd man, what would become of thee? one that had but a grain of choler in the whole composition of his body, would send thee of an errand to the worms for putting thy name upon that field: did not I beat thee there i'th' head o'th' Troops with a Trunchion, because thou wouldst needs run away with thy company, when we should charge the enemy? Bes. True, but I did not run. Mar. Right Bessus, I beat thee out on't. Bes. But came I not up when the day was gone, and redeem'd all? Mar. Thou knowest, and so do I, thou meanedst to flie, and thy fear making thee mistake, thou ranst upon the enemy, and a hot charge thou gav'st, as I'le do thee right, thou art furious in running away, and I think, we owe thy fear for our victory; If I were the King, and were sure thou wouldst mistake alwaies and run away upon th' enemy, thou shouldst be General by this light. Bes. You'l never leave this till I fall foul. Mar. No more such words dear Bessus, for though I have ever known thee a coward, and therefore durst never strike thee, yet if thou proceedest, I will allow thee valiant, and beat thee. Bes. Come, our King's a brave fellow. Mar. He is so Bessus, I wonder how thou cam'st to know it. But if thou wer't a man of understanding, I would tell thee, he is vain-glorious, and humble, and angry, and patient, and merry and dull, and joyful and sorrowful in extremity in an hour: Do not think me thy friend for this, for if I ear'd who knew it, thou shouldst not hear it Bessus. Here he is with his prey in his foot. Enter &c. Senet Flourish. Enter Arbaces and Tigranes, Two Kings and two Gentlemen. Arb. Thy sadness brave Tigranes takes away From my full victory, am I become Of so small fame, that any man should grieve When I o'recome him? They that plac'd me here, Intended it an honour large enough, (though he For the most valiant living, but to dare oppose me single, Lost the day. What should afflict you, you are as free as I, To be my prisoner, is to be more free Than you were formerly, and never think The man I held worthy to combate me Shall be us'd servilely: Thy ransom is To take my only Sister to thy Wife. A heavy one Tigranes, for she is A Lady, that the neighbour Princes send Blanks to fetch home. I have been too unkind To her Tigranes, she but nine years old I left her, and ne're saw her since, your wars Have held me long and taught me though a youth, The way to victory, she was a pretty child, Then I was little better, but now fame Cries loudly on her, and my messengers Make me believe she is a miracle; She'l make you shrink, as I did, with a stroak But of her eye Tigranes. Tigr. Is't the course of Iberia to use their prisoners thus? Had fortune thrown my name above Arbace, I should not thus have talk'd Sir, in Armenia We hold it base, you should have kept your temper Till you saw home again, where 'tis the fashion Perhaps to brag. Arb. Be you my witness earth, need I to brag, Doth not this captive Prince speak Me sufficiently, and all the acts That I have wrought upon his suffering Land; Should I then boast! where lies that foot of ground Within his whole Realm, that I have not past, Fighting and conquering; Far then from me Be ostentation. I could tell the world How I have laid his Kingdom desolate By this sole Arm prop't by divinity, Stript him out of his glories, and have sent The pride of all his youth to people graves, And made his Virgins languish for their Loves, If I would brag, should I that have the power To teach the Neighbour world humility, Mix with vain-glory? Mar. Indeed this is none. Arb. Tigranes, Nay did I but take delight To stretch my deeds as others do, on words, I could amaze my hearers. Mar. So you do. Arb. But he shall wrong his and my modesty, That thinks me apt to boast after any act Fit for a good man to do upon his foe. A little glory in a souldiers mouth Is well-becoming, be it far from vain. Mar. 'Tis pity that valour should be thus drunk. Arb. I offer you my Sister, and you answer I do insult, a Lady that no suite Nor treasure, nor thy Crown could purchase thee, But that thou fought'st with me. Tigr. Though this be worse Than that you spake before, it strikes me not; But that you think to overgrace me with The marriage of your Sister, troubles me. I would give worlds for ransoms were they mine, Rather than have her. Arb. See if I insult That am the Conquerour, and for a ransom Offer rich treasure to the Conquered, Which he refuses, and I bear his scorn: It cannot be self-flattery to say, The Daughters of your Country set by her, Would see their shame, run home and blush to death, At their own foulness; yet she is not fair, Nor beautiful, those words express her not, They say her looks have something excellent, That wants a name: yet were she odious, Her birth deserves the Empire of the world, Sister to such a brother, that hath ta'ne Victory prisoner, and throughout the earth, Carries her bound, and should he let her loose, She durst not leave him; Nature did her wrong, To Print continual conquest on her cheeks, And make no man worthy for her to taste But me that am too near her, and as strangely She did for me, but you will think I brag. Mar. I do I'le be sworn. Thy valour and thy passions sever'd, would have made two excellent fellows in their kinds: I know not whether I should be sorry thou art so valiant, or so passionate, wou'd one of 'em were away. Tigr. Do I refuse her that I doubt her worth? Were she as vertuous as she would be thought, So perfect that no one of her own sex Could find a want, had she so tempting fair, That she could wish it off for damning souls, I would pay any ransom, twenty lives Rather than meet her married in my bed. Perhaps I have a love, where I have fixt Mine eyes not to be mov'd, and she on me, I am not fickle. Arb. Is that all the cause? Think you, you can so knit your self in love To any other, that her searching sight Cannot dissolve it? So before you tri'd, You thought your self a match for me in [f]ight, Trust me Tigranes, she can do as much In peace, as I in war, she'l conquer too, You shall see if you have the power to stand The force of her swift looks, if you dislike, I'le send you home with love, and name your ransom Some other way, but if she be your choice, She frees you: To Iberia you must. Tigr. Sir, I have learn'd a prisoners sufferance, And will obey, but give me leave to talk In private with some friends before I go. Arb. Some to await him forth, and see him safe, But let him freely send for whom he please, And none dare to disturb his conference, I will not have him know what bondage is, [Exit Tigranes. Till he be free from me. This Prince, Mardonius, Is full of wisdom, valour, all the graces Man can receive. Mar. And yet you conquer'd him. Arb. And yet I conquer'd him, and could have don't Hadst thou joyn'd with him, though thy name in Arms Be great; must all men that are vertuous Think suddenly to match themselves with me? I conquered him and bravely, did I not? Bes. And please your Majesty, I was afraid at first. Mar. When wert thou other? Arb. Of what? Bes. That you would not have spy'd your best advantages, for your Majesty in my opinion lay too high, methinks, under favour, you should have lain thus. Mar. Like a Taylor at a wake. Bes. And then, if please your Majesty to remember, at one time, by my troth I wisht my self wi'you. Mar. By my troth thou wouldst ha' stunk 'em both out o'th' Lists. Arb. What to do? Bes. To put your Majesty in mind of an occasion; you lay thus, and Tigranes falsified a blow at your Leg, which you by doing thus avoided; but if you had whip'd up your Leg thus, and reach'd him on the ear, you had made the Blood-Royal run down his head. Mar. What Country Fence-school learn'st thou at? Arb. Pish, did not I take him nobly? Mar. Why you did, and you have talked enough on't. Arb. Talkt enough? Will you confine my word? by heaven and earth, I were much better be a King of beasts Than such a people: if I had not patience Above a God, I should be call'd a Tyrant Throughout the world. They will offend to death Each minute: Let me hear thee speak again, And thou art earth again: why this is like Tigranes speech that needs would say I brag'd. Bessus, he said I brag'd. Bes. Ha, ha, ha. Arb. Why dost thou laugh? By all the world, I'm grown ridiculous To my own Subjects: Tie me in a Chair And jest at me, but I shall make a start, And punish some that others may take heed How they are haughty; who will answer me? He said I boasted, speak Mardonius, Did I? He will not answer, O my temper! I give you thanks above, that taught my heart Patience, I can endure his silence; what will none Vouchsafe to give me answer? am I grown To such a poor respect, or do you mean To break my wind? Speak, speak, some one of you, Or else by heaven. 1 Gent. So please your. Arb. Monstrous, I cannot be heard out, they cut me off, As if I were too saucy, I will live In woods, and talk to trees, they will allow me To end what I begin. The meanest Subject Can find a freedom to discharge his soul And not I, now it is a time to speak, I hearken. 1 Gent. May it please. Arb. I mean not you, Did not I stop you once? but I am grown To balk, but I defie, let another speak. 2 Gent. I hope your Majesty. Arb. Thou drawest thy words, That I must wait an hour, where other men Can hear in instants; throw your words away, Quick, and to purpose, I have told you this. Bes. And please your Majesty. Arb. Wilt thou devour me? this is such a rudeness As you never shew'd me, and I want Power to command too, else Mardonius Would speak at my request; were you my King, I would have answered at your word Mardonius, I pray you speak, and truely, did I boast? Mar. Truth will offend you. Arb. You take all great care what will offend me, When you dare to utter such things as these. Mar. You told Tigranes, you had won his Land, With that sole arm propt by Divinity: Was not that bragging, and a wrong to us, That daily ventured lives? Arb. O that thy name Were as great, as mine, would I had paid my wealth, It were as great, as I might combate thee, I would through all the Regions habitable Search thee, and having found thee, wi'my Sword Drive thee about the world, till I had met Some place that yet mans curiosity Hath mist of; there, there would I strike thee dead: Forgotten of mankind, such Funeral rites As beasts would give thee, thou shouldst have. Bes. The King rages extreamly, shall we slink away? He'l strike us. 2 Gent. Content. Arb. There I would make you know 'twas this sole arm. I grant you were my instruments, and did As I commanded you, but 'twas this arm Mov'd you like wheels, it mov'd you as it pleas'd. Whither slip you now? what are you too good To wait on me (puffe,) I had need have temper That rule such people; I have nothing left At my own choice, I would I might be private: Mean men enjoy themselves, but 'tis our curse, To have a tumult that out of their loves Will wait on us, whether we will or no; Go get you gone: Why here they stand like death, My words move nothing. 1 Gent. Must we go? Bes. I know not. Arb. I pray you leave me Sirs, I'me proud of this, That you will be intreated from my sight: Why now the[y] leave me all: Mardonius. [Exeunt all but Arb. and Mar. Mar. Sir. Arb. Will you leave me quite alone? me thinks Civility should teach you more than this, If I were but your friend: Stay here and wait. Mar. Sir shall I speak? Arb. Why, you would now think much To be denied, but I can scar[c]e intreat What I would have: do, speak. Mar. But will you hear me out? Arb. With me you Article to talk thus: well, I will hear you out. Mar. Sir, that I have ever lov'd you, my sword hath spoken for me; that I do, if it be doubted, I dare call an oath, a great one to my witness; and were you not my King, from amongst men, I should have chose you out to love above the rest: nor can this challenge thanks, for my own sake I should have done it, because I would have lov'd the most deserving man, for so you are. Arb. Alas Mardonius, rise you shall not kneel, We all are souldiers, and all venture lives: And where there is no difference in mens worths, Titles are jests, who can outvalue thee? Mardonius thou hast lov'd me, and hast wrong, Thy love is not rewarded, but believe It shall be better, more than friend in arms, My Father, and my Tutor, good Mardonius. Mar. Sir, you did promise you would hear me out. Arb. And so I will; speak freely, for from thee Nothing can come but worthy things and true. Mar. Though you have all this worth, you hold some qualities that do Eclipse your vertues. Arb. Eclipse my vertues? Mar. Yes, your passions, which are so manifold, that they appear even in this: when I commend you, you hug me for that truth: but when I speak your faults, you make a start, and flie the hearing but. Arb. When you commend me? O that I should live To need such commendations: If my deeds Blew not my praise themselves about the earth, I were most wretched: spare your idle praise: If thou didst mean to flatter, and shouldst utter Words in my praise, that thou thoughtst impudence, My deeds should make 'em modest: when you praise I hug you? 'tis so [false], that wert thou worthy thou shouldst receive a death, a glorious death from me: but thou shalt understand thy lies, for shouldst thou praise me into Heaven, and there leave me inthron'd, I would despise thee though as much as now, which is as much as dust because I see thy envie. Mar. However you will use me after, yet for your own promise sake, hear me the rest. Arb. I will, and after call unto the winds, for they shall lend as large an ear as I to what you utter: speak. Mar. Would you but leave these hasty tempers, which I do not say take from you all your worth, but darken 'em, then you will shine indeed. Arb. Well. Mar. Yet I would have you keep some passions, lest men should take you for a God, your vertues are such. Arb. Why now you flatter. Mar. I never understood the word, were you no King, and free from these moods, should I choose a companion for wit and pleasure, it should be you; or for honesty to enterchange my bosom with, it should be you; or wisdom to give me counsel, I would pick out you; or valour to defend my reputation, still I should find you out; for you are fit to fight for all the world, if it could come in question: Now I have spoke, consider to your self, find out a use; if so, then what shall fall to me is not material. Arb. Is not material? more than ten such lives, as mine, Mardonius: it was nobly said, thou hast spoke truth, and boldly such a truth as might offend another. I have been too passionate and idle, thou shalt see a swift amendment, but I want those parts you praise me for: I fight for all the world? Give me a sword, and thou wilt go as far beyond me, as thou art beyond in years, I know thou dar'st and wilt; it troubles me that I should use so rough a phrase to thee, impute it to my folly, what thou wilt, so thou wilt par[d]on me: that thou and I should differ thus! Mar. Why 'tis no matter Sir. Arb. Faith but it is, but thou dost ever take all things I do, thus patiently, for which I never can requite thee, but with love, and that thou shalt be sure of. Thou and I have not been merry lately: pray thee tell me where hadst thou that same jewel in thine ear? Mar. Why at the taking of a Town. Arb. A wench upon my life, a wench Mardonius gave thee that jewel. Mar. Wench! they respect not me, I'm old and rough, and every limb about me, but that which should, grows stiffer, I'those businesses I may swear I am truly honest: for I pay justly for what I take, and would be glad to be at a certainty. Arb. Why, do the wenches encroach upon thee? Mar. I by this light do they. Arb. Didst thou sit at an old rent with 'em? Mar. Yes faith. Arb. And do they improve themselves? Mar. I ten shillings to me, every new young fellow they come acquainted with. Arb. How canst live on't? Mar. Why I think I must petition to you. Arb. Thou shalt take them up at my price. Enter two Gentlemen and Bessus. Mar. Your price? Arb. I at the Kings price. Mar. That may be more than I'me worth. 2 Gent. Is he not merry now? 1 Gent. I think not. Bes. He is, he is: we'l shew our selves. Arb. Bessus, I thought you had been in Iberia by this, I bad you hast; Gobrias will want entertainment for me. Bes. And please your Majesty I have a sute. Arb. Is't not lousie Bessus, what is't? Bes. I am to carry a Lady with me. Arb. Then thou hast two sutes. Bes. And if I can prefer her to the Lady Pentha your Majesties Sister, to learn fashions, as her friends term it, it will be worth something to me. Arb. So many nights lodgings as 'tis thither, wilt not? Bes. I know not that Sir, but gold I shall be sure of. Arb. Why thou shalt bid her entertain her from me, so thou wilt resolve me one thing. Bes. If I can. Arb. Faith 'tis a very disputable question, and yet I think thou canst decide it. Bes. Your Majesty has a good opinion of my understanding. Arb. I have so good an opinion of it: 'tis whether thou be valiant. Bes. Some body has traduced me to you: do you see this sword Sir? Arb. Yes. Bes. If I do not make my back-biters eat it to a knife within this week, say I am not valiant. Enter a Messenger. Mes. Health to your Majesty. Arb. From Gobrias? Mes. Yes Sir. Arb. How does he, is he well? Mes. In perfect health. Arb. Take that for thy good news. A trustier servant to his Prince there lives not, than is good Gobrias. 1 Gent. The King starts back. Mar. His blood goes back as fast. 2 Gent. And now it comes again. Mar. He alters strangely. Arb. The hand of Heaven is on me, be it far from me to struggle, if my secret sins have pull'd this curse upon me, lend me tears now to wash me white, that I may feel a child-like innocence within my breast; which once perform'd, O give me leave to stand as fix'd as constancy her self, my eyes set here unmov'd, regardless of the world though thousand miseries incompass me. Mar. This is strange, Sir, how do you? Arb. Mardonius, my mother. Mar. Is she dead? Arb. Alas she's not so happy, thou dost know how she hath laboured since my Father died to take by treason hence this loathed life, that would but be to serve her, I have pardoned, and pardoned, and by that have made her fit to practise new sins, not repent the old: she now had stirr'd a slave to come from thence, and strike me here, whom Gobrias sifting out, took and condemn'd and executed there, the carefulst servant: Heaven let me but live to pay that man; Nature is poor to me, that will not let me have as many deaths as are the times that he hath say'd my life, that I might dye 'em over all for him. Mar. Sir let her bear her sins on her own head, Vex not your self. Arb. What will the world Conceive of me? with what unnatural sins Will they suppose me loaden, when my life Is sought by her that gave it to the world? But yet he writes me comfort here, my Sister, He saies, is grown in beauty and in grace. In all the innocent vertues that become A tender spotless maid: she stains her cheeks With morning tears to purge her mothers ill, And 'mongst that sacred dew she mingles Prayers Her pure Oblations for my safe return: If I have lost the duty of a Son, If any pomp or vanity of state Made me forget my natural offices, Nay farther, if I have not every night Expostulated with my wandring thoughts, If ought unto my parent they have err'd, And call'd 'em back: do you direct her arm Unto this foul dissembling heart of mine: But if I have been just to her, send out Your power to compass me, and hold me safe From searching treason; I will use no means But prayer: for rather suffer me to see From mine own veins issue a deadly flood, Than wash my danger off with mothers blood. Mar. I n'ere saw such suddain extremities. [Exeunt. Enter Tigranes and Spaconia. Tigr. Why? wilt thou have me die Spaconia. What should I do? Spa. Nay let me stay alone, And when you see Armenia again, You shall behold a Tomb more worth than I; Some friend that ever lov'd me or my cause, Will build me something to distinguish me From other women, many a weeping verse He will lay on, and much lament those maids, That plac'd their loves unfortunately high, As I have done, where they can never reach; But why should you go to Iberia? Tigr. Alas, that thou wilt ask me, ask the man That rages in a Fever why he lies Distempered there, when all the other youths Are coursing o're the Meadows with their Loves? Can I resist it? am I not a slave To him that conquer'd me? Spa. That conquer'd thee Tigranes! he has won But half of thee, thy body, but thy mind May be as free as his, his will did never Combate thine, and take it prisoner. Tigr. But if he by force convey my body hence, What helps it me or thee to be unwilling? Spa. O Tigranes, I know you are to see a Lady there, To see, and like I fear: perhaps the hope Of her make[s] you forget me, ere we part, Be happier than you know to wish; farewel. Tigr. Spaconia, stay and hear me what I say: In short, destruction meet me that I may See it, and not avoid it, when I leave To be thy faithful lover: part with me Thou shalt not, there are none that know our love, And I have given gold unto a Captain That goes unto Iberia from the King, That he will place a Lady of our Land With the Kings Sister that is offered me; Thither shall you, and being once got in Perswade her by what subtil means you can To be as backward in her love as I. Spa. Can you imagine that a longing maid When she beholds you, can be pull'd away With words from loving you? Tigr. Dispraise my health, my honesty, and tell her I am jealous. Spa. Why, I had rather lose you: can my heart Consent to let my tongue throw out such words, And I that ever yet spoke what I thought, Shall find it such a thing at first to lie? Tigr. Yet do thy best. Enter Bessus. Bes. What, is your Majesty ready? Tigr. There is the Lady, Captain. Bes. Sweet Lady, by your leave, I co[u]ld wish my self more full of Courtship for your fair sake. Spa. Sir I shall feel no want of that. Bes. Lady, you must hast, I have received new letters from the King that require more hast than I expected, he will follow me suddenly himself, and begins to call for your Majesty already. Tigr. He shall not do so long. Bes. Sweet Lady, shall I call you my Charge hereafter? Spa. I will not take upon me to govern your tongue Sir, you shall call me what you please. Actus Secundus. Enter Gobrias, Bacurius, Arane, Panthe, and Mandane, Waiting-women with Attendants. Gob. My Lord Bacurius, you must have regard unto the Queen, she is your prisoner, 'tis at your peril if she make escape. Bac. My Lord, I know't, she is my prisoner from you committed; yet she is a woman, and so I keep her safe, you will not urge me to keep her close, I shall not shame to say I sorrow for her. Gob. So do I my Lord; I sorrow for her, that so little grace doth govern her: that she should stretch her arm against her King, so little womanhood and natural goodness, as to think the death of her own Son. Ara. Thou knowst the reason why, dissembling as thou art, and wilt not speak. Gob. There is a Lady takes not after you, Her Father is within her, that good man Whose tears weigh'd down his sins, mark how she weeps, How well it does become her, and if you Can find no disposition in your self To sorrow, yet by gracefulness in her Find out the way, and by your reason weep: All this she does for you, and more she needs When for your self you will not lose a tear, Think how this want of grief discredits you, And you will weep, because you cannot weep. Ara. You talk to me as having got a time fit for your purpose; but you should be urg'd know I know you speak not what you think. Pan. I would my heart were Stone, before my softness Against my mother, a more troubled thought No Virgin bears about; should I excuse My Mothers fault, I should set light a life In losing which, a brother and a King Were taken from me, if I seek to save That life so lov'd, I lose another life That gave me being, I shall lose a Mother, A word of such a sound in a childs ears That it strikes reverence through it; may the will Of heaven be done, and if one needs must fall, Take a poor Virgins life to answer all. Ara. But Gobrias let us talk, you know this fault Is not in me as in another Mother. Gob. I know it is not. Ara. Yet you make it so. Gob. Why, is not all that's past beyond your help? Ara. I know it is. Gob. Nay should you publish it before the world, Think you 'twould be believ'd? Ara. I know it would not. Gob. Nay should I joyn with you, should we not both be torn and yet both die uncredited? Ara. I think we should. Gob. Why then take you such violent courses? As for me I do but right in saving of the King from all your plots. Ara. The King? Gob. I bad you rest with patience, and a time Would come for me to reconcile all to Your own content, but by this way you take Away my power, and what was done unknown, Was not by me but you: your urging being done I must preserve my own, but time may bring All this to light, and happily for all. Ara. Accursed be this over curious brain That gave that plot a birth, accurst this womb That after did conceive to my disgrace. Bac. My Lord Protector, they say there are divers Letters come from Armenia, that Bessus has done good service, and brought again a day, by his particular valour, receiv'd you any to that effect? Gob. Yes, 'tis most certain. Bac. I'm sorry for't, not that the day was won, But that 'twas won by him: we held him here A Coward, he did me wrong once, at which I laugh'd, And so did all the world, for nor I, Nor any other held him worth my sword. Enter Bessus and Spaconia. Bes. Health to my Protector; from the King These Letters; and to your grace Madam, these. Gob. How does his Majesty? Bes. As well as conquest by his own means and his valiant C[o]mmanders can make him; your letters will tell you all. Pan. I will not open mine till I do know My Brothers health: good Captain is he well? Bes. As the rest of us that fought are. Pan. But how's that? is he hurt? Bes. He's a strange souldier that gets not a knock. Pan. I do not ask how strange that souldier is That gets no hurt, but whether he have one. Bes. He had divers. Pan. And is he well again? Bes. Well again, an't please your Grace: why I was run twice through the body, and shot i'th' head with a cross-arrow, and yet am well again. Pan. I do not care how thou do'st, is he well? Bes. Not care how I do? Let a man out of the mightiness of his spirit, fructifie Foreign Countries with his blood for the good of his own, and thus he shall be answered: Why I may live to relieve with spear and shield, such a Lady as you distressed. Pan. Why, I will care, I'me glad that thou art well, I prethee is he so? Gob. The King is well and will be here to morrow. Pan. My prayer is heard, now will I open mine. Gob. Bacurius, I must ease you of your charge: Madam, the wonted mercy of the King, That overtakes your faults, has met with this, And struck it out, he has forgiven you freely, Your own will is your law, be where you please. Ara. I thank him. Gob. You will be ready to wait upon his Majesty to morrow? Ara. I will. [Exit Arane. Bac. Madam be wise hereafter; I am glad I have lost this Office. Gob. Good Captain Bessus, tell us the discourse betwixt Tigranes and our King, and how we got the victory. Pan. I prethee do, and if my Brother were In any danger, let not thy tale make Him abide there long before thou bring him off, For all that while my heart will beat. Bes. Madam let what will beat, I must tell the truth, and thus it was; they fought single in lists, but one to one; as for my own part, I was dangerously hurt but three days before, else, perhaps, we had been two to two, I cannot tell, some thought we had, and the occasion of my hurt was this, the enemy had made Trenches. Gob. Captain, without the manner of your hurt be much material to this business, we'l hear't some other time. Pan. I prethee leave it, and go on with my Brother. Bes. I will, but 'twould be worth your hearing: To the Lists they came, and single-sword and gantlet was their fight. Pan. Alas! Bes. Without the Lists there stood some dozen Captains of either side mingled, all which were sworn, and one of those was I: and 'twas my chance to stand next a Captain o'th' enemies side, called Tiribasus; Valiant they said he was; whilst these two Kings were streaching themselves, this Tiribasus cast something a scornful look on me, and ask't me who I thought would overcome: I smil'd and told him if he would fight with me, he should perceive by the event of that whose King would win: something he answered, and a scuffle was like to grow, when one Zipetus offered to help him, I-- Pan. All this is of thy self, I pray thee Bessus tell something of my Brother, did he nothing? Bes. Why yes, I'le tell your Grace, they were not to fight till the word given, which for my own part, by my troth I confess I was not to give. Pan. See for his own part. Bac. I fear yet this fellow's abus'd with a good report. Bes. But I-- Pan. Still of himself. Bes. Cri'd give the word, when as some of them say, Tigranes was stooping, but the word was not given then, yet one Cosroes of the enemies part, held up his finger to me, which is as much with us Martialists, as I will fight with you: I said not a word, nor made sign during the combate, but that once done. Pan. He slips o're all the fight. Bes. I call'd him to me, Cosroes said I. Pan. I will hear no more. Bes. No, no, I lie. Bac. I dare be sworn thou dost. Bes. Captain said I, so it was. Pan. I tell thee, I will hear no further. Bes. No? Your Grace will wish you had. Pan. I will not wish it, what is this the Lady My brother writes to me to take? Bes. And please your Grace this is she: Charge, will you come near the Princess? Pan. You'r welcome from your Country, and this land shall shew unto you all the kindness that I can make it; what's your name? Spa. Thalectris. Pan. Y'are very welcome, you have got a letter to put you to me, that has power enough to place mine enemy here; then much more you that are so far from being so to me that you ne're saw me. Bes. Madam, I dare pass my word for her truth. Spa. My truth? Pan. Why Captain, do you think I am afraid she'l steal? Bes. I cannot tell, servants are slippery, but I dare give my word for her, and for honesty, she came along with me, and many favours she did me by the way, but by this light none but what she might do with modesty, to a man of my rank. Pan. Why Captain, here's no body thinks otherwise. Bes. Nay, if you should, your Grace may think your pleasure; but I am sure I brought her from Armenia, and in all that way, if ever I touch'd any bare of her above her knee, I pray God I may sink where I stand. Spa. Above my knee? Bes. No, you know I did not, and if any man will say, I did, this sword shall answer; Nay, I'le defend the reputation of my charge whilst I live, your Grace shall understand I am secret in these businesses, and know how to defend a Ladies honour. Spa. I hope your Grace knows him so well already, I shall not need to tell you he's vain and foolish. Bes. I you may call me what you please, but I'le defend your good name against the world; and so I take my leave of your Grace, and of you my Lord Protector; I am likewise glad to see your Lordship well. Bac. O Captain Bessus, I thank you, I would speak with you anon. Bes. When you please, I will attend your Lordship. Bac. Madam, I'le take my leave too. Pan. Good Bacurius. [Exeunt Bes. and Bac. Gob. Madam what writes his Majesty to you? Pan. O my Lord, the kindest words, I'le keep 'em whilst I live, here in my bosom, there's no art in 'em, they lie disordered in this paper, just as hearty nature speaks 'em. Gob. And to me he writes what tears of joy he shed to hear how you were grown in every vertues way, and yields all thanks to me, for that dear care which I was bound to have in training you, there is no Princess living that enjoys a brother of that worth. Pan. My Lord, no maid longs more for any thing, And feels more heat and cold within her breast, Than I do now, in hopes to see him. Gob. Yet I wonder much At this he writes, he brings along with him A husband for you, that same Captive Prince, And if he loves you as he makes a shew, He will allow you freedom in your choice. Pan. And so he will my Lord, I warrant you, he will but offer and give me the power to take or leave. Gob. Trust me, were I a Lady, I could not like that man were bargain'd with before I choose him. Pan. But I am not built on such wild humours, if I find him worthy, he is not less because he's offer'd. Spa. 'Tis true, he is not, would he would seem less. Gob. I think there's no Lady can affect Another Prince, your brother standing by; He doth Eclipse mens vertues so with his. Spa. I know a Lady may, and more I fear Another Lady will. Pan. Would I might see him. Gob. Why so you shall, my businesses are great, I will attend you when it is his pleasure to see you. Pan. I thank you good my Lord. Gob. You will be ready Madam. [Exit Gob. Pan. Yes. Spa. I do beseech you Madam, send away Your other women, and receive from me A few sad words, which set against your joyes May make 'em shine the more. Pan. Sirs, leave me all. [Exeunt Women. Spa. I kneel a stranger here to beg a thing Unfit for me to ask, and you to grant, 'Tis such another strange ill-laid request, As if a begger should intreat a King To leave his Scepter, and his Throne to him And take his rags to wander o're the world Hungry and cold. Pan. That were a strange request. Spa. As ill is mine. Pan. Then do not utter it. Spa. Alas 'tis of that nature, that it must Be utter'd, I, and granted, or I die: I am asham'd to speak it; but where life Lies at the stake, I cannot think her woman That will not take something unreasonably to hazard saving of it: I shall seem a strange Petitioner, that wish all ill to them I beg of, e're they give me ought; yet so I must: I would you were not fair, nor wise, for in your ill consists my good: if you were foolish, you would hear my prayer, if foul, you had not power to hinder me: he would not love you. Pan. What's the meaning of it. Spa. Nay, my request is more without the bounds Of reason yet: for 'tis not in the power Of you to do, what I would have you grant. Pan. Why then 'tis idle, pray thee speak it out. Spa. Your brother brings a Prince into this land, Of such a noble shape, so sweet a grace, So full of worth withal, that every maid That looks upon him, gives away her self To him for ever; and for you to have He brings him: and so mad is my demand That I desire you not to have this man, This excellent man, for whom you needs must die, If you should miss him. I do now expect You should laugh at me. Pan. Trust me I could weep rather, for I have found him In all thy words a strange disjoynted sorrow. Spa. 'Tis by me his own desire so, that you would not love him. Pan. His own desire! why credit me Thalestris, I am no common wooer: if he shall wooe me, his worth may be such, that I dare not swear I will not love him; but if he will stay to have me wooe him, I will promise thee, he may keep all his graces to himself, and fear no ravishing from me. Spa. 'Tis yet his own desire, but when he sees your face, I fear it will not be; therefore I charge you as you have pity, stop these tender ears from his enchanting voice, close up those eyes, that you may neither catch a dart from him, nor he from you; I charge you as you hope to live in quiet; for when I am dead, for certain I will walk to visit him if he break promise with me: for as fast as Oaths without a formal Ceremony can make me, I am to him. Pan. Then be fearless; For if he were a thing 'twixt God and man, I could gaze on him; if I knew it sin To love him without passion: Dry your eyes, I swear you shall enjoy him still for me, I will not hinder you; but I perceive You are not what you seem, rise, rise Thalestris, If your right name be so. Spa. Indeed it is not, Spaconia is my name; but I desire not to be known to other. Pan. Why, by me you shall not, I will never do you wrong, what good I can, I will, think not my birth or education such, that I should injure a stranger Virgin; you are welcome hither, in company you wish to be commanded, but when we are alone, I shall be ready to be your servant. [Exeunt. Enter three Men and a Woman. 1. Come, come, run, run, run. 2. We shall out-go her. 3. One were better be hang'd than carry out women fidling to these shews. Wom. Is the King hard by? 1. You heard he with the Bottles said, he thought we should come too late: What abundance of people here is! Wom. But what had he in those Bottles? 3. I know not. 2. Why, Ink goodman fool. 3. Ink, what to do? 1. Why the King look you, will many times call for these Bottles, and break his mind to his friends. Wom. Let's take our places, we shall have no room else. 2. The man told us he would walk o' foot through the people. 3. I marry did he. 1. Our shops are well look't to now. 2. 'Slife, yonder's my Master, I think. 1. No 'tis not he. Enter a man with two Citizens-wives. 1 Cit. Lord how fine the fields be, what sweet living 'tis in the Country! 2 Cit. I poor souls, God help 'em; they live as contentedly as one of us. 1 Cit. My husbands Cousin would have had me gone into the Country last year, wert thou ever there? 2 Cit. I, poor souls, I was amongst 'em once. 1 Cit. And what kind of creatures are they, for love of God? 2 Cit. Very good people, God help 'em. 1 Cit. Wilt thou go down with me this Summer when I am brought to bed? 2 Cit. Alas, it is no place for us. 1 Cit. Why, pray thee? 2 Cit. Why you can have nothing there, there's no body cryes brooms. 1 Cit. No? 2 Cit. No truly, nor milk. 1 Cit. Nor milk, how do they? 2 Cit. They are fain to milk themselves i'th' Country. 1 Cit. Good Lord! but the people there, I think, will be very dutiful to one of us. 2 Cit. I God knows will they, and yet they do not greatly care for our husbands. 1 Cit. Do they not? Alas! I'good faith I cannot blame them: for we do not greatly care for them our selves. Philip, I pray choose us a place. Phil. There's the best forsooth. 1 Cit. By your leave good people a little. 3. What's the matter? Phil. I pray you my friend, do not thrust my Mistress so, she's with Child. 2. Let her look to her self then, has she not had showing enough yet? if she stay shouldring here, she may haps go home with a cake in her belly. 3. How now, goodman squitter-breech, why do you lean on me? Phi. Because I will. 3. Will you Sir sawce-box? 1 Cit. Look if one ha'not struck Philip, come hither Philip, why did he strike thee? Phil. For leaning on him. 1 Cit. Why didst thou lean on him? Phil. I did not think he would have struck me. 1 Cit. As God save me la thou'rt as wild as a Buck, there's no quarel but thou'rt at one end or other on't. 3. It's at the first end then, for he'l ne'r stay the last. 1 Cit. Well slip-string, I shall meet with you. 3. When you will. 1 Cit. I'le give a crown to meet with you. 3. At a Bawdy-house. 1 Cit. I you're full of your Roguery; but if I do meet you it shall cost me a fall. Flourish. Enter one running. 4 The King, the King, the King. Now, now, now, now. Flourish. Enter Arb. Tigr. The two Kings and Mardonius. All. God preserve your Majesty. Arb. I thank you all, now are my joyes at full, when I behold you safe, my loving Subjects; by you I grow, 'tis your united love that lifts me to this height: all the account that I can render you for all the love you have bestowed on me, all your expences to maintain my war, is but a little word, you will imagine 'tis slender paiment, yet 'tis such a word, as is not to be bought but with your bloods, 'tis Peace. All. God preserve your Majesty. Arb. Now you may live securely i'your Towns, Your Children round about you; may sit Under your Vines, and make the miseries Of other Kingdoms a discourse for you, And lend them sorrows; for your selves, you may Safely forget there are such things as tears, And you may all whose good thoughts I have gain'd, Hold me unworthy, where I think my life A sacrifice too great to keep you thus In such a calm estate. All. God bless your Majesty. Arb. See all good people, I have brought the man whose very name you fear'd, a captive home; behold him, 'tis Tigranes; in your heart sing songs of gladness, and deliverance. 1 Cit. Out upon him. 2 Cit. How he looks. 3 Wom. Hang him, hang him. Mar. These are sweet people. Tigr. Sir, you do me wrong, to render me a scorned spectacle to common people. Arb. It was so far from me to mean it so: if I have ought deserv'd, my loving Subjects, let me beg of you, not to revile this Prince, in whom there dwells all worth of which the name of a man is capable, valour beyond compare, the terrour of his name has stretcht it self where ever there is sun; and yet for you I fought with him single, and won him too; I made his valour stoop, and brought that name soar'd to so unbeliev'd a height, to fall beneath mine: this inspir'd with all your loves, I did perform, and will for your content, be ever ready for a greater work. All. The Lord bless your Majesty. Tigr. So he has made me amends now with a speech in commendation of himself: I would not be so vain-glorious. Arb. If there be any thing in which I may Do good to any creature, here speak out; For I must leave you: and it troubles me, That my occasions for the good of you, Are such as call me from you: else, my joy Would be to spend my days among you all. You shew your loves in these large multitudes That come to meet me, I will pray for you, Heaven prosper you, that you may know old years, And live to see your childrens children sit At your boards with plenty: when there is A want of any thing, let it be known To me, and I will be a Father to you: God keep you all. [ Flourish. Exeunt Kings and their Train. All. God bless your Majesty, God bless your Majesty. 1. Come, shall we go? all's done. Wom. I for God sake, I have not made a fire yet. 2. Away, away, all's done. 3. Content, farewel Philip. 1 Cit. Away you halter-sack you. 2. Philip will not fight, he's afraid on's face. Phil. I marry am I afraid of my face. 3. Thou wouldst be Philip if thou sawst it in a glass; it looks so like a Visour. [Exeunt 2., 3., and Woman. 1 Cit. You'l be hang'd sirra: Come Philip walk before us homewards; did not his Majesty say he had brought us home Pease for all our money? 2 Cit. Yes marry did he. 1 Cit. They're the first I heard of this year by my troth, I longed for some of 'em: did he not say we should have some? 2 Cit. Yes, and so we shall anon I warrant you have every one a peck brought home to our houses. Actus Tertius. Enter Arbaces and Gobrias. Arb. My Sister take it ill? Gob. Not very ill. Something unkindly she does take it Sir to have Her Husband chosen to her hands. Arb. Why Gobrias let her, I must have her know, my will and not her own must govern her: what will she marry with some slave at home? Gob. O she is far from any stubbornness, you much mistake her, and no doubt will like where you would have her, but when you behold her, you will be loth to part with such a jewel. Arb. To part with her? why Gobrias, art thou mad? she is my Sister. Gob. Sir, I know she is: but it were pity to make poor our Land, with such a beauty to enrich another. Arb. Pish will she have him? Gob. I do hope she will not, I think she will Sir. Arb. Were she my Father and my Mother too, and all the names for which we think folks friends, she should be forc't to have him when I know 'tis fit: I will not hear her say she's loth. Gob. Heaven bring my purpose luckily to pass, you know 'tis just, she will not need constraint she loves you so. Arb. How does she love me, speak? Gob. She loves you more than people love their health, that live by labour; more than I could love a man that died for me, if he could live again. Arb. She is not like her mother then. Gob. O no, when you were in Armenia, I durst not let her know when you were hurt: For at the first on every little scratch, She kept her Chamber, wept, and could not eat, Till you were well, and many times the news Was so long coming, that before we heard She was as near her death, as you your health. Arb. Alas poor soul, but yet she must be rul'd; I know not how I shall requite her well. I long to see her, have you sent for her, To tell her I am ready? Gob. Sir I have. Enter 1 Gent, and Tigranes. 1 Gent. Sir, here is the Armenian King. Arb. He's welcome. 1 Gent. And the Queen-mother, and the Princess wait without. Arb. Good Gobrias bring 'em in. Tigranes, you will think you are arriv'd In a strange Land, where Mothers cast to poyson Their only Sons; think you you shall be safe? Tigr. Too safe I am Sir. Enter Gobrias, Arane, Panthea, Spaconia, Bacurius, Mardonius and Bessus, and two Gentlemen. Ara. As low as this I bow to you, and would As low as is my grave, to shew a mind Thankful for all your mercies. Arb. O stand up, And let me kneel, the light will be asham'd To see observance done to me by you. Ara. You are my King. Arb. You are my Mother, rise; As far be all your faults from your own soul, As from my memory; then you shall be As white as innocence her self. Ara. I came Only to shew my duty, and acknowledge My sorrows for my sins; longer to stay Were but to draw eyes more attentively Upon my shame, that power that kept you safe From me, preserve you still. Arb. Your own desires shall be your guide. [Exit Arane. Pan. Now let me die, since I have seen my Lord the King Return in safetie, I have seen all good that life Can shew me; I have ne're another wish For Heaven to grant, nor were it fit I should; For I am bound to spend my age to come, In giving thanks that this was granted me. Gob. Why does not your Majesty speak? Arb. To whom? Gob. To the Princess. Pan. Alas Sir, I am fearful, you do look On me, as if I were some loathed thing That you were finding out a way to shun. Gob. Sir, you should speak to her. Arb. Ha? Pan. I know I am unworthy, yet not ill arm'd, with which innocence here I will kneel, till I am one with earth, but I will gain some words and kindness from you. Tigr. Will you speak Sir? Arb. Speak, am I what I was? What art thou that dost creep into my breast, And dar'st not see my face? shew forth thy self: I feel a pair of fiery wings displai'd Hither, from hence; you shall not tarry there, Up, and be gone, if thou beest Love be gone: Or I will tear thee from my wounded breast, Pull thy lov'd Down away, and with thy Quill By this right arm drawn from thy wonted wing, Write to thy laughing Mother i'thy bloud, That you are powers bely'd, and all your darts Are to be blown away, by men resolv'd, Like dust; I know thou fear'st my words, away. Tigr. O misery! why should he be so slow? There can no falshood come of loving her; Though I have given my faith; she is a thing Both to be lov'd and serv'd beyond my faith: I would he would present me to her quickly. Pan. Will you not speak at all? are you so far From kind words? yet to save my modesty, That must talk till you answer, do not stand As you were dumb, say something, though it be Poyson'd with anger, that it may strike me dead. Mar. Have you no life at all? for man-hood sake Let her not kneel, and talk neglected thus; A tree would find a tongue to answer her, Did she but give it such a lov'd respect. Arb. You mean this Lady: lift her from the earth; why do you let her kneel so long? Alas, Madam, your beauty uses to command, and not to beg. What is your sute to me? it shall be granted, yet the time is short, and my affairs are great: but where's my Sister? I bade she should be brought. Mar. What, is he mad? Arb. Gobrias, where is she? Gob. Sir. Arb. Where is she man? Gob. Who, Sir? Arb. Who, hast thou forgot my Sister? Gob. Your Sister, Sir? Arb. Your Sister, Sir? some one that hath a wit, answer, where is she? Gob. Do you not see her there? Arb. Where? Gob. There. Arb. There, where? Mar. S'light, there, are you blind? Arb. Which do you mean, that little one? Gob. No Sir. Arb. No Sir? why, do you mock me? I can see No other here, but that petitioning Lady. Gob. That's she. Arb. Away. Gob. Sir, it is she. Arb. 'Tis false. Gob. Is it? Arb. As hell, by Heaven, as false as hell, My Sister: is she dead? if it be so, Speak boldly to me; for I am a man, And dare not quarrel with Divinity; And do not think to cozen me with this: I see you all are mute and stand amaz'd, Fearful to answer me; it is too true, A decreed instant cuts off ev'ry life, For which to mourn, is to repine; she dy'd A Virgin, though more innocent than sheep, As clear as her own eyes, and blessedness Eternal waits upon her where she is: I know she could not make a wish to change Her state for new, and you shall see me bear My crosses like a man; we all must die, And she hath taught us how. Gob. Do not mistake, And vex your self for nothing; for her death Is a long life off, I hope: 'Tis she, And if my speech deserve not faith, lay death Upon me, and my latest words shall force A credit from you. Arb. Which, good Gobrias? that Lady dost thou mean? Gob. That Lady Sir, She is your Sister, and she is your Sister That loves you so, 'tis she for whom I weep, To see you use her thus. Arb. It cannot be. Tigr. Pish, this is tedious, I cannot hold, I must present my self, And yet the sight of my Spaconia Touches me, as a sudden thunder-clap Does one that is about to sin. Arb. Away, No more of this; here I pronounce him Traytor, The direct plotter of my death, that names Or thinks her for my Sister, 'tis a lie, The most malicious of the world, invented To mad your King; he that will say so next, Let him draw out his sword and sheath it here, It is a sin fully as pardonable: She is no kin to me, nor shall she be; If she were ever, I create her none: And which of you can question this? My power Is like the Sea, that is to be obey'd, And not disputed with: I have decreed her As far from having part of blood with me, As the nak'd indians; come and answer me, He that is boldest now; is that my Sister? Mar. O this is fine. Bes. No marry, she is not, an't please your Majesty, I never thought she was, she's nothing like you. Arb. No 'tis true, she is not. Mar. Thou shou'dst be hang'd. Pan. Sir, I will speak but once; by the same power You make my blood a stranger unto yours, You may command me dead, and so much love A stranger may importune, pray you do; If this request appear too much to grant, Adopt me of some other Family, By your unquestion'd word; else I shall live Like sinfull issues that are left in streets By their regardless Mothers, and no name Will be found for me. Arb. I will hear no more, Why should there be such musick in a voyce, And sin for me to hear it? All the world May take delight in this, and 'tis damnation For me to do so: You are fair and wise And vertuous I think, and he is blest That is so near you as my brother is; But you are nought to me but a disease; Continual torment without hope of ease; Such an ungodly sickness I have got, That he that undertakes my cure, must first O'rethrow Divinity, all moral Laws, And leave mankind as unconfin'd as beasts, Allowing 'em to do all actions As freely as they drink when they desire. Let me not hear you speak again; yet see I shall but lang[u]ish for the want of that, The having which, would kill me: No man here Offer to speak for her; for I consider As much as you can say; I will not toil My body and my mind too, rest thou there, Here's one within will labour for you both. Pan. I would I were past speaking. Gob. Fear not Madam, The King will alter, 'tis some sudden rage, And you shall see it end some other way. Pan. Pray heaven it do. Tig. Though she to whom I swore, be here, I cannot Stifle my passion longer; if my father Should rise again disquieted with this, And charge me to forbear, yet it would out. Madam, a stranger, and a pris'ner begs To be bid welcome. Pan. You are welcome, Sir, I think, but if you be not, 'tis past me To make you so: for I am here a stranger, Greater than you; we know from whence you come, But I appear a lost thing, and by whom Is yet uncertain, found here i'th' Court, And onely suffer'd to walk up and down, As one not worth the owning. Spa. O, I fear Tigranes will be caught, he looks, me-thinks, As he would change his eyes with her; some help There is above for me, I hope. Tigr. Why do you turn away, and weep so fast, And utter things that mis-become your looks, Can you want owning? Spa. O 'tis certain so. Tigr. Acknowledge your self mine. Arb. How now? Tigr. And then see if you want an owner. Arb. They are talking. Tigr. Nations shall owne you for their Queen. Arb. Tigranes, art not thou my prisoner? Tigr. I am. Arb. And who is this? Tigr. She is your Sister. Arb. She is so. Mar. Is she so again? that's well. Arb. And then how dare you offer to change words with her? Tigr. Dare do it! Why? you brought me hither Sir, To that intent. Arb. Perhaps I told you so, If I had sworn it, had you so much folly To credit it? The least word that she speaks Is worth a life; rule your disordered tongue, Or I will temper it. Spa. Blest be the breath. Tigr. Temper my tongue! such incivilities As these, no barbarous people ever knew: You break the lawes of Nature, and of Nations, You talk to me as if I were a prisoner For theft: my tongue be temper'd? I must speak If thunder check me, and I will. Arb. You will? Spa. Alas my fortune. Tigr. Do not fear his frown, dear Madam, hear me. Arb. Fear not my frown? but that 'twere base in me To fight with one I know I can o'recome, Again thou shouldst be conquer'd by me. Mar. He has one ransome with him already; me-thinks 'T were good to fight double, or quit. Arb. Away with him to prison: Now Sir, see If my frown be regardless; Why delay you? Seise him Bacurius, you shall know my word Sweeps like a wind, and all it grapples with, Are as the chaffe before it. Tigr. Touch me not. Arb. Help there. Tigr. Away. 1 Gent. It is in vain to struggle. 2 Gent. You must be forc'd. Bac. Sir, you must pardon us, we must obey. Arb. Why do you dally there? drag him away By any thing. Bac. Come Sir. Tigr. Justice, thou ought'st to give me strength enough To shake all these off; This is tyrannie, Arbaces, sutler than the burning Bulls, Or that fam'd Titans bed. Thou mightst as well Search i'th' deep of Winter through the snow For half starv'd people, to bring home with thee, To shew 'em fire, and send 'em back again, As use me thus. Arb. Let him be close, Bacurius. [Exeunt Tigr. And Bac. Spa. I ne're rejoyc'd at any ill to him, But this imprisonment: what shall become Of me forsaken? Gob. You will not let your Sister Depart thus discontented from you, Sir? Arb. By no means Gobrias, I have done her wrong, And made my self believe much of my self, That is not in me: You did kneel to me, Whilest I stood stubborn and regardless by, And like a god incensed, gave no ear To all your prayers: behold, I kneel to you, Shew a contempt as large as was my own, And I will suffer it, yet at the last forgive me. Pan. O you wrong me more in this, Than in your rage you did: you mock me now. Arb. Never forgive me then, which is the worst Can happen to me. Pan. If you be in earnest, Stand up and give me but a gentle look, And two kind words, and I shall be in heaven. Arb. Rise you then to hear; I acknowledge thee My hope, the only jewel of my life, The best of Sisters, dearer than my breath, A happiness as high as I could think; And when my actions call thee otherwise, Perdition light upon me. Pan. This is better Than if you had not frown'd, it comes to me, Like mercie at the block, and when I leave To serve you with my life, your curse be with me. Arb. Then thus I do salute thee, and again, To make this knot the stronger, Paradise Is there: It may be you are yet in doubt, This third kiss blots it out, I wade in sin, And foolishly intice my self along; Take her away, see her a prisoner In her own chamber closely, Gobrias. Pan. Alas Sir, why? Arb. I must not stay the answer, doe it. Gob. Good Sir. Arb. No more, doe it I say. Mard. This is better and better. Pan. Yet hear me speak. Arb. I will not hear you speak, Away with her, let no man think to speak For such a creature; for she is a witch, A prisoner, and a Traitor. Gob. Madam, this office grieves me. Pan. Nay, 'tis well the king is pleased with it. Arb. Bessus, go you along too with her; I will prove All this that I have said, if I may live So long; but I am desperately sick, For she has given me poison in a kiss; She had't betwixt her lips, and with her eyes She witches people: go without a word. [Exeunt Gob. Pan. Bes. And Spaconia. Why should you that have made me stand in war Like fate it self, cutting what threds I pleas'd, Decree such an unworthy end of me, And all my glories? What am I, alas, That you oppose me? if my secret thoughts Have ever harbour'd swellings against you, They could not hurt you, and it is in you To give me sorrow, that will render me Apt to receive your mercy; rather so, Let it be rather so, than punish me With such unmanly sins: Incest is in me Dwelling already, and it must be holy That pulls it thence, where art Mardonius? Mar. Here Sir. Arb. I pray thee bear me, if thou canst, Am I not grown a strange weight? Mar. As you were. Arb. No heavier? Mar. No Sir. Arb. Why, my legs Refuse to bear my body; O Mardonius, Thou hast in field beheld me, when thou knowst I could have gone, though I could never run. Mar. And so I shall again. Arb. O no, 'tis past. Mar. Pray you go rest your self. Arb. Wilt thou hereafter when they talk of me, As thou shalt hear nothing but infamy, Remember some of those things? Mar. Yes I will. Arb. I pray thee do: for thou shalt never see me so again. [Exeunt. Enter Bessus alone. Bes. They talk of fame, I have gotten it in the wars; and will afford any man a reasonable penny-worth: some will say, they could be content to have it, but that it is to be atchiev'd with danger; but my opinion is otherwise: for if I might stand still in Cannon-proof, and have fame fall upon me, I would refuse it: my reputation came principally by thinking to run away, which no body knows but Mardonius, and I think he conceals it to anger me. Before I went to the warrs, I came to the Town a young fellow, without means or parts to deserve friends; and my empty guts perswaded me to lie, and abuse people for my meat, which I did, and they beat me: then would I fast two days, till my hunger cri'd out on me, rail still, then me-thought I had a monstrous stomach to abuse 'em again, and did it. I, this state I continu'd till they hung me up by th' heels, and beat me wi' hasle sticks, as if they would have baked me, and have cousen'd some body wi'me for Venison: After this I rail'd, and eat quietly: for the whole Kingdom took notice of me for a baffl'd whipt fellow, and what I said was remembred in mirth but never in anger, of which I was glad; I would it were at that pass again. After this, heaven calls an Aunt of mine, that left two hundred pound in a cousins hand for me, who taking me to be a gallant young spirit, raised a company for me with the money and sent me into Armenia with 'em: Away I would have run from them, but that I could get no company, and alone I durst not run. I was never at battail but once, and there I was running, but Mardonius cudgel'd me; yet I got loose at last, but was so fraid, that I saw no more than my shoulders doe, but fled with my whole company amongst my Enemies, and overthrew 'em: Now the report of my valour is come over before me, and they say I was a raw young fellow, but now I am improv'd, a Plague on their eloquence, 't will cost me many a beating; And Mardonius might help this too, if he would; for now they think to get honour on me, and all the men I have abus'd call me freshly worthily, as they call it by the way of challenge. Enter a Gent. 3 Gent. Good morrow, Captain Bessus. Bes. Good morrow Sir. 3 Gent. I come to speak with you. Bes. You're very welcome. 3 Gent. From one that holds himself wrong'd by you some three years since: your worth he says is fam'd, and he doth nothing doubt but you will do him right, as beseems a souldier. Bes. A pox on 'em, so they cry all. 3 Gent. And a slight note I have about me for you, for the delivery of which you must excuse me; it is an office that friendship calls upon me to do, and no way offensive to you; since I desire but right on both sides. Bes. 'Tis a challenge Sir, is it not? 3 Gent. 'Tis an inviting to the field. Bes. An inviting? O Sir your Mercy, what a Complement he delivers it with? he might as agreeable to my nature present me poison with such a speech: um um um reputation, um um um call you to account, um um um forc'd to this, um um um with my Sword, um um um like a Gentleman, um um um dear to me, um um um satisfaction: 'Tis very well Sir, I do accept it, but he must await an answer this thirteen weeks. 3 Gent. Why Sir, he would be glad to wipe off his stain as soon as he could. Bes. Sir upon my credit I am already ingag'd to two hundred, and twelve, all which must have their stains wip'd off, if that be the word, before him. 3 Gent. Sir, if you be truly ingag'd but to one, he shall stay a competent time. Bes. Upon my faith Sir, to two hundred and twelve, and I have a spent body, too much bruis'd in battel, so that I cannot fight, I must be plain, above three combats a day: All the kindness I can shew him, is to set him resolvedly in my rowle, the two hundred and thirteenth man, which is something, for I tell you, I think there will be more after him, than before him, I think so; pray you commend me to him, and tell him this. 3 Gent. I will Sir, good morrow to you. [Exit 3 Gent. Bes. Good morrow good Sir. Certainly my safest way were to print my self a coward, with a discovery how I came by my credit, and clap it upon every post; I have received above thirty challenges within this two hours, marry all but the first I put off with ingagement, and by good fortune, the first is no madder of fighting than I, so that that's referred, the place where it must be ended, is four days journey off, and our arbitratours are these: He has chosen a Gentleman in travel, and I have a special friend with a quartain ague, like to hold him this five years, for mine: and when his man comes home, we are to expect my friends health: If they would finde me challenges thus thick, as long as I liv'd, I would have no other living; I can make seven shillings a day o'th' paper to the Grocers: yet I learn nothing by all these but a little skill in comparing of stiles. I do finde evidently, that there is some one Scrivener in this Town, that has a great hand in writing of Challenges, for they are all of a cut, and six of 'em in a hand; and they all end, my reputation is dear to me, and I must require satisfaction: Who's there? more paper I hope, no, 'tis my Lord Bacurius, I fear all is not well betwixt us. Enter Bacurius. Bac. Now Captain Bessus, I come about a frivolous matter, caus'd by as idle a report: you know you were a coward. Bes. Very right. Bac. And wronged me. Bes. True my Lord. Bac. But now people will call you valiant, desertlesly I think, yet for their satisfaction, I will have you fight with me. Bes. O my good Lord, my deep Engagements. Bac. Tell not me of your Engagements, Captain Bessus, it is not to be put off with an excuse: for my own part, I am none of the multitude that believe your conversion from Coward. Bes. My Lord, I seek not Quarrels, and this belongs not to me, I am not to maintain it. Bac. Who then pray? Bes. Bessus the Coward wrong'd you. Bac. Right. Bes. And shall Bessus the Valiant, maintain what Bessus the Coward did? Bac. I pray thee leave these cheating tricks, I swear thou shalt fight with me, or thou shall be beaten extreamly, and kick'd. Bes. Since you provoke me thus far, my Lord, I will fight with you, and by my Sword it shall cost me twenty pound, but I will have my Leg well a week sooner purposely. Bac. Your Leg? Why, what ailes your Leg? i'le do a cure on you, stand up. Bes. My Lord, this is not Noble in you. Bac. What dost thou with such a phrase in thy mouth? I will kick thee out of all good words before I leave thee. Bes. My Lord, I take this as a punishment for the offence I did when I was a Coward. Bac. When thou wert? Confess thy self a Coward still, or by this light, I'le beat thee into Spunge. Bes. Why I am one. Bac. Are you so Sir? And why do you wear a Sword then? Come unbuckle. Bes. My Lord. Bac. Unbuckle I say, and give it me, or as I live, thy head will ake extreamly. Bes. It is a pretty Hilt, and if your Lordship take an affection to it, with all my heart I present it to you for a New-years-gift. Bac. I thank you very heartily, sweet Captain, farewel. Bes. One word more, I beseech your Lordship to render me my knife again. Bac. Marry by all means Captain; cherish your self with it, and eat hard, good Captain; we cannot tell whether we shall have any more such: Adue dear Captain. [Exit Bac. Bes. I will make better use of this, than of my Sword: A base spirit has this vantage of a brave one, it keeps alwayes at a stay, nothing brings it down, not beating. I remember I promis'd the King in a great Audience, that I would make my back-biters eat my sword to a knife; how to get another sword I know not, nor know any means left for me to maintain my credit, but impudence: therefore I will out-swear him and all his followers, that this is all that's left uneaten of my sword. [Exit Bessus. Enter Mardonius. Mar. I'le move the King, he is most strangely alter'd; I guess the cause I fear too right, Heaven has some secret end in't, and 'tis a scourge no question justly laid upon him: he has followed me through twenty Rooms; and ever when I stay to wait his command, he blushes like a Girl, and looks upon me, as if modesty kept in his business: so turns away from me, but if I go on, he follows me again. Enter Arbaces. See, here he is. I do not use this, yet I know not how, I cannot chuse but weep to see him; his very Enemies I think, whose wounds have bred his fame, if they should see him now, would find tears i'their eyes. Arb. I cannot utter it, why should I keep A breast to harbour thoughts? I dare not speak. Darkness is in my bosom, and there lie A thousand thoughts that cannot brook the light: How wilt thou vex 'em when this deed is done, Conscience, that art afraid to let me name it? Mar. How do you Sir? Arb. Why very well Mardonius, how dost thou do? Mar. Better than you I fear. Arb. I hope thou art; for to be plain with thee, Thou art in Hell else, secret scorching flames That far transcend earthly material fires Are crept into me, and there is no cure. Is it not strange Mardonius, there's no cure? Mar. Sir, either I mistake, or there is something hid That you would utter to me. Arb. So there is, but yet I cannot do it. Mar. Out with it Sir, if it be dangerous, I will not shrink to do you service, I shall not esteem my life a weightier matter than indeed it is, I know it is subject to more chances than it has hours, and I were better lose it in my Kings cause, than with an ague, or a fall, or sleeping, to a Thief; as all these are probable enough: let me but know what I shall do for you. Arb. It will not out: were you with Gobrias, And bad him give my Sister all content The place affords, and give her leave to send And speak to whom she please? Mar. Yes Sir, I was. Arb. And did you to Bacurius say as much About Tigranes? Mar. Yes. Arb. That's all my business. Mar. O say not so, You had an answer of this before; Besides I think this business might Be utter'd more carelesly. Arb. Come thou shalt have it out, I do beseech thee By all the love thou hast profest to me, To see my Sister from me. Mar. Well, and what? Arb. That's all. Mar. That's strange, I shall say nothing to her? Arb. Not a word; But if thou lovest me, find some subtil way To make her understand by signs. Mar. But what shall I make her understand? Arb. O Mardonius, for that I must be pardon'd. Mar. You may, but I can only see her then. Arb. 'Tis true; Bear her this Ring then, and One more advice, thou shall speak to her: Tell her I do love My kindred all: wilt thou? Mar. Is there no more? Arb. O yes and her the best; Better than any Brother loves his Sister: That's all. Mar. Methinks this need not have been delivered with such a caution; I'le do it. Arb. There is more yet, Wilt thou be faith[f]ul to me? Mar. Sir, if I take upon me to deliver it, after I hear it, I'le pass through fire to do it. Arb. I love her better than a Brother ought; Dost thou conceive me? Mar. I hope you do not Sir. Arb. No, thou art dull, kneel down before her, And ne'r rise again, till she will love me. Mar. Why, I think she does. Arb. But better than she does, another way; As wives love Husbands. Mar. Why, I think there are few Wives that love their Husbands better than she does you. Arb. Thou wilt not understand me: is it fit This should be uttered plainly? take it then Naked as it is: I would desire her love Lasciviously, lewdly, incestuously, To do a sin that needs must damn us both, And thee too: dost thou understand me now? Mar. Yes, there's your Ring again; what have I done Dishonestly in my whole life, name it, That you should put so base a business to me? Arb. Didst thou not tell me thou wouldst do it? Mar. Yes; if I undertook it, but if all My hairs were lives, I would not be engag'd In such a case to save my last life. Arb. O guilt! ha how poor and weak a thing art thou! This man that is my servant, whom my breath Might blow upon the world, might beat me here Having this cause, whil'st I prest down with sin Could not resist him: hear Mardonius, It was a motion mis-beseeming man, And I am sorry for it. Mar. Heaven grant you may be so: you must understand, nothing that you can utter, can remove my love and service from my Prince. But otherwise, I think I shall not love you more. For you are sinful, and if you do this crime, you ought to have no Laws. For after this, it will be great injustice in you to punish any offender for any crime. For my self I find my heart too big: I feel I have not patience to look on whilst you run these forbidden courses. Means I have none but your favour, and I am rather glad that I shall lose 'em both together, than keep 'em with such conditions; I shall find a dwelling amongst some people, where though our Garments perhaps be courser, we shall be richer far within, and harbour no such vices in 'em: the Gods preserve you, and mend. Arb. Mardonius, stay Mardonius, for though My present state requires nothing but knaves To be about me, such as are prepar'd For every wicked act, yet who does know But that my loathed Fate may turn about, And I have use for honest men again? I hope I may, I prethee leave me not. Enter Bessus. Bes. Where is the King? Mar. There. Bes. An't please your Majesty, there's the knife. Arb. What knife? Bes. The Sword is eaten. Mar. Away you fool, the King is serious, And cannot now admit your vanities. Bes. Vanities! I'me no honest man, if my enemies have not brought it to this, what, do you think I lie? Arb. No, no, 'tis well Bessus, 'tis very well I'm glad on't. Mar. If your enemies brought it to this, your enemies are Cutlers, come leave the King. Bes. Why, may not valour approach him? Mar. Yes, but he has affairs, depart, or I shall be something unmannerly with you. Arb. No, let him stay Mardonius, let him stay, I have occasion with him very weighty, And I can spare you now. Mar. Sir? Arb. Why I can spare you now. Bes. Mardonius give way to these State affairs. Mar. Indeed you are fitter for this present purpose. [Exit Mar. Arb. Bessus, I should imploy thee, wilt thou do't? Bes. Do't for you? by this Air I will do any thing without exception, be it a good, bad, or indifferent thing. Arb. Do not swear. Bes. By this light but I will, any thing whatsoever. Arb. But I shall name the thing, Thy Conscience will not suffer thee to do. Bes. I would fain hear that thing. Arb. Why I would have thee get my Sister for me? Thou understandst me, in a wicked manner. Bes. O you would have a bout with her? I'le do't, I'le do't, I'faith. Arb. Wilt thou, do'st thou make no more on't? Bes. More? no, why is there any thing else? if there be, it shall be done too. Arb. Hast thou no greater sense of such a sin? Thou art too wicked for my company, Though I have hell within me, thou may'st yet Corrupt me further: pray thee answer me, How do I shew to thee after this motion? Bes. Why your Majesty looks as well in my opinion, as ever you did since you were born. Arb. But thou appear'st to me after thy grant, The ugliest, loathed detestable thing That I ever met with. Thou hast eyes Like the flames of Sulphur, which me thinks do dart Infection on me, and thou hast a mouth Enough to take me in where there do stand Four rows of Iron Teeth. Bes. I feel no such thing, but 'tis no matter how I look, Pie do my business as well as they that look better, and when this is dispatch'd, if you have a mind to your Mother, tell me, and you shall see I'le set it hard. Arb. My Mother! Heaven forgive me to hear this, I am inspir'd with horrour: now I hate thee Worse than my sin, which if I could come by Should suffer death Eternal ne're to rise In any breast again. Know I will die Languishing mad, as I resolve, I shall, E're I will deal by such an instrument: Thou art too sinful to imploy in this; Out of the World, away. Bes. What do you mean, Sir? Arb. Hung round with Curses, take thy fearful flight Into the Desarts, where 'mongst all the Monsters If thou find'st one so beastly as thy self, Thou shalt be held as innocent. Bes. Good Sir. Arb. If there were no such instruments as thou, We Kings could never act such wicked deeds: Seek out a man that mocks Divinity, That breaks each precept both of God and man, And natures too, and does it without lust, Meerly because it is a law, and good, And live with him: for him thou canst not spoil. Away I say, I will not do this sin. [Exit Bessus. I'le press it here, till it do break my breast, It heaves to get out, but thou art a sin, And spight of torture I will keep thee in. ACTUS QUARTUS. Enter Gobrias, Panthea, and Spaconia. Gob. Have you written Madam? Pan. Yes, good Gobrias. Gob. And with a kindness, and such winning words As may provoke him, at one instant feel His double fault, your wrong, and his own rashness? Pan. I have sent words enough, if words may win him From his displeasure; and such words I hope, As shall gain much upon his goodness, Gobrias. Yet fearing they are many, and a womans, A poor belief may follow, I have woven As many truths within 'em to speak for me, That if he be but gracious, and receive 'em-- Gob. Good Lady be not fearful, though he should not Give you your present end in this, believe it, You shall feel, if your vertue can induce you To labour on't, this tempest which I know, Is but a poor proof 'gainst your patience: All those contents, your spirit will arrive at, Newer and sweeter to you; your Royal brother, When he shall once collect himself, and see How far he has been asunder from himself; What a meer stranger to his golden temper: Must from those roots of vertue, never dying, Though somewhat stopt with humour, shoot again Into a thousand glories, bearing his fair branches High as our hopes can look at, straight as justice, Loaden with ripe contents; he loves you dearly, I know it, and I hope I need not farther Win you to understand it. Pan. I believe it. But howsoever, I am sure I love him dearly: So dearly, that if any thing I write For my enlarging should beget his anger, Heaven be a witness with me and my faith, I had rather live intomb'd here. Gob. You shall not feel a worse stroke than your grief, I am sorry 'tis so sharp, I kiss your hand, And this night will deliver this true story, With this hand to your Brother. Pan. Peace go with you, you are a good man. [Exit Gob. My Spaconia, why are you ever sad thus? Spa. O dear Lady. Pan. Prethee discover not a way to sadness, Nearer than I have in me, our two sorrows Work like two eager Hawks, who shall get highest; How shall I lessen thine? for mine I fear Is easier known than cur'd. Spa. Heaven comfort both, And give you happy ends, however I Fall in my stubborn fortunes. Pan. This but teaches How to be more familiar with our sorrows, That are too much our masters: good Spaconia How shall I do you service? Spa. Noblest Lady, You make me more a slave still to your goodness, And only live to purchase thanks to pay you, For that is all the business of my life: now I will be bold, since you will have it so, To ask a noble favour of you. Pan. Speak it, 'tis yours, for from so sweet a vertue, No ill demand has issue. Spa. Then ever vertuous, let me beg your will In helping me to see the Prince Tigranes, With whom I am equal prisoner, if not more. Pan. Reserve me to a greater end Spaconia; Bacurius cannot want so much good manners As to deny your gentle visitation, Though you came only with your own command. Spa. I know they will deny me gracious Madam, Being a stranger, and so little fam'd, So utter empty of those excellencies That tame Authority; but in you sweet Lady, All these are natural; beside, a power Deriv'd immediate from your Royal brother, Whose least word in you may command the Kingdom. Pan. More than my word Spaconia, you shall carry, For fear it fail you. Spa. Dare you trust a Token? Madam I fear I am grown too bold a begger. Pan. You are a pretty one, and trust me Lady It joyes me, I shall do a good to you, Though to my self I never shall be happy: Here, take this Ring, and from me as a Token Deliver it; I think they will not stay you: So all your own desires go with you Lady. Spa. And sweet peace to your Grace. Pan. Pray Heaven I find it. [Exeunt. Enter Tigranes, in prison. Tigr. Fool that I am, I have undone my self, And with my own hand turn'd my fortune round, That was a fair one: I have childishly Plaid with my hope so long, till I have broke it, And now too late I mourn for't; O Spaconia! Thou hast found an even way to thy revenge now, Why didst thou follow me like a faint shadow, To wither my desires? But wretched fool, Why did I plant thee 'twixt the Sun and me, To make me freeze thus? Why did I prefer her To the fair Princess? O thou fool, thou fool, Thou family of fools, live like a slave still, And in thee bear thine own hell and thy torment, Thou hast deserv'd: Couldst thou find no Lady But she that has thy hopes to put her to, And hazard all thy peace? None to abuse, But she that lov'd thee ever? poor Spaconia, And so much lov'd thee, that in honesty And honour thou art bound to meet her vertues: She that forgot the greatness of her grief And miseries, that must follow such mad passions, Endless and wild as women; she that for thee And with thee left her liberty, her name, And Country, you have paid me equal, Heavens, And sent my own rod to correct me with; A woman: for inconstancy I'le suffer, Lay it on justice, till my soul melt in me For my unmanly, beastly, sudden doting Upon a new face: after all my oaths Many and strange ones, I feel my old fire flame again and burn So strong and violent, that should I see her Again, the grief and that would kill me. Enter Bacurius And Spaconia. Bac. Lady, your token I acknowledge, you may pass; There is the King. Spa. I thank your Lordship for it. [Exit Bac. Tigr. She comes, she comes, shame hide me ever from her, Would I were buried, or so far remov'd Light might not find me out, I dare not see her. Spa. Nay never hide your self; or were you hid Where earth hides all her riches, near her Center; My wrongs without more day would light me to you: I must speak e're I die; were all your greatness Doubled upon you, y'are a perjur'd man, And only mighty in your wickedness Of wronging women. Thou art false, false Prince; I live to see it, poor Spaconia lives To tell thee thou art false; and then no more; She lives to tell thee thou art more unconstant, Than all ill women ever were together. Thy faith is firm as raging over-flowes, That no bank can command; as lasting As boyes gay bubbles, blown i'th' Air and broken: The wind is fixt to thee: and sooner shall The beaten Mariner with his shrill whistle Calm the loud murmur of the troubled main, And strike it smooth again; than thy soul fall To have peace in love with any: Thou art all That all good men must hate; and if thy story Shall tell succeeding ages what thou wert, O let it spare me in it, lest true lovers In pity of my wrong, burn thy black Legend, And with their curses, shake thy sleeping ashes. Tigr. Oh! oh! Spa. The destinies, I hope, have pointed out Our ends, that thou maist die for love, Though not for me; for this assure thy self, The Princess hates thee deadly, and will sooner Be won to marry with a Bull, and safer Than such a beast as thou art: I have struck, I fear, too deep; beshrow me for't; Sir, This sorrow works me like a cunning friendship, Into the same piece with it; 'tis asham'd, Alas, I have been too rugged: Dear my Lord, I am sorry I have spoken any thing, Indeed I am, that may add more restraint To that too much you have: good Sir, be pleas'd To think it was a fault of love, not malice; And do as I will do, forgive it Prince. I do, and can forgive the greatest sins To me you can repent of; pray believe. Tigr. O my Spaconia! O thou vertuous woman! Spa. Nay, more, the King Sir. Enter Arbaces, Bacurius, Mardonius. Arb. Have you been carefull of our noble Prisoner, That he want nothing fitting for his greatness? Bac. I hope his grace will quit me for my care Sir. Arb. 'Tis well, royal Tigranes, health. Tigr. More than the strictness of this place can give Sir, I offer back again to great Arbaces. Arb. We thank you worthy Prince, and pray excuse us, We have not seen you since your being here, I hope your noble usage has been equall With your own person: your imprisonment, If it be any, I dare say is easie, And shall not last t[w]o dayes. Tigr. I thank you; My usage here has been the same it was, Worthy a royal Conqueror. For my restraint, It came unkindly, because much unlook'd for; But I must bear it. Arb. What Lady's that? Bacurius? Bac. One of the Princess women, Sir. Arb. I fear'd it, why comes she hither? Bac. To speak with the Prince Tigranes. Arb. From whom, Bacurius? Bac. From the Princess, Sir. Arb. I knew I had seen her. Mar. His fit begins to take him now again, 'Tis a strange Feaver, and 'twill shake us all anon, I fear, Would he were well cur'd of this raging folly: Give me the warrs, where men are mad, and may talk what they list, and held the bravest fellows; This pelting prating peace is good for nothing: drinking's a vertue to't. Arb. I see there's truth in no man, nor obedience, But for his own ends, why did you let her in? Bac. It was your own command to barr none from him, Besides, the Princess sent her ring Sir, for my warrant. Arb. A token to Tigranes, did she not? Sir tell truth. Bac. I do not use to lie Sir, 'Tis no way I eat or live by, and I think, This is no token Sir. Mar. This combat has undone him: if he had been well beaten, he had been temperate; I shall never see him handsome again, till he have a Horse-mans staffe yok'd thorow his shoulders, or an arm broken with a bullet. Arb. I am trifled with. Bac. Sir? Arb. I know it, as I know thee to be false. Mar. Now the clap comes. Bac. You never knew me so, Sir I dare speak it, And durst a worse man tell me, though my better-- Mar. 'Tis well said, by my soul. Arb. Sirra, you answer as you had no life. Bac. That I fear Sir to lose nobly. Arb. I say Sir, once again. Bac. You may say what yo[u] please, Sir, Would I might do so. Arb. I will, Sir, and say openly, this woman carries letters, By my life I know she carries letters, this woman does it. Mar. Would Bessus were here to take her aside and search her, He would quickly tell you what she carried Sir. Arb. I have found it out, this woman carries letters. Mar. If this hold, 'twill be an ill world for Bawdes, Chamber-maids and Post-boyes, I thank heaven I have none I but his letters patents, things of his own enditing. Arb. Prince, this cunning cannot do't. Tigr. Doe, What Sir? I reach you not. Arb. It shall not serve your turn, Prince. Tigr. Serve my turn Sir? Arb. I Sir, it shall not serve your turn. Tigr. Be plainer, good Sir. Arb. This woman shall carry no more letters back to your Love Panthea, by Heaven she shall not, I say she shall not. Mar. This would make a Saint swear like a souldier. Tigr. This beats me more, King, than the blowes you gave me. Arb. Take'em away both, and together let them prisoners be, strictly and closely kept, or Sirra, your life shall answer it, and let no body speak with'em hereafter. Tigr. Well, I am subject to you, And must indure these passions: This is the imprisonment I have look'd for always. And the dearer place I would choose. [Exeunt Tigr. Spa. Bac. Mar. Sir, you have done well now. Arb. Dare you reprove it? Mar. No. Arb. You must be crossing me. Mar. I have no letters Sir to anger you, But a dry sonnet of my Corporals To an old Suttlers wife, and that I'll burn, Sir. 'Tis like to prove a fine age for the Ignorant. Arb. How darst thou so often forfeit thy life? Thou know'st 'tis in my power to take it. Mar. Yes, and I know you wo'not, or if you doe, you'll miss it quickly. Arb. Why? Mar. Who shall tell you of these childish follies When I am dead? who shall put to his power To draw those vertues out of a flood of humors, When they are drown'd, and make'em shine again? No, cut my head off: Then you may talk, and be believed, and grow worse, And have your too self-glorious temper rot Into a deep sleep, and the Kingdom with you, Till forraign swords be in your throats, and slaughter Be every where about you like your flatterers. Do, kill me. Arb. Prethee be tamer, good Mardonius, Thou know'st I love thee, nay I honour thee, Believe it good old Souldier, I am thine; But I am rack'd clean from my self, bear with me, Woot thou bear with me my Mardonius? Enter Gobrias. Mar. There comes a good man, love him too, he's temperate, You may live to have need of such a vertue, Rage is not still in fashion. Arb. Welcome good Gobrias. Gob. My service and this letter to your Grace. Arb. From whom? Gob. From the rich Mine of vertue and beauty, Your mournfull Sister. Arb. She is in prison, Gobrias, is she not? Gob. She is Sir, till your pleasure to enlarge her, Which on my knees I beg. Oh 'tis not fit, That all the sweetness of the world in one, The youth and vertue that would tame wild Tygers, And wilder people, that have known no manners, Should live thus cloistred up; for your loves sake, If there be any in that noble heart, To her a wretched Lady, and forlorn, Or for her love to you, which is as much As nature and obedience ever gave, Have pity on her beauties. Arb. Pray thee stand up; 'Tis true, she is too fair, And all these commendations but her own, Would thou had'st never so commended her, Or I nere liv'd to have heard it Gobrias; If thou but know'st the wrong her beautie does her, Thou wouldst in pity of her be a lyar, Thy ignorance has drawn me wretched man, Whither my self nor thou canst well tell: O my fate! I think she loves me, but I fear another Is deeper in her heart: How thinkst thou Gobrias? Gob. I do beseech your Grace believe it not, For let me perish if it be not false. Good Sir, read her Letter. Mar. This Love, or what a devil it is I know not, begets more mischief than a Wake. I had rather be well beaten, starv'd, or lowsie, than live within the Air on't. He that had seen this brave fellow Charge through a grove of Pikes but t'other day, and look upon him now, will ne'r believe his eyes again: if he continue thus but two days more, a Taylor may beat him with one hand tied behind him. Arb. Alas, she would be at liberty. And there be a thousand reasons Gobrias, Thousands that will deny't: Which if she knew, she would contentedly Be where she is: and bless her vertues for it, And me, though she were closer, she would, Gobrias, Good man indeed she would. Gob. Then good Sir, for her satisfaction, Send for her and with reason make her know Why she must live thus from you. Arb. I will; go bring her to me. [Exeunt all. Enter Bessus, And two Sword-men, and a Boy. Bes. Y'are very welcome both; some stools boy, And reach a Table; Gentlemen o'th' Sword, Pray sit without more complement; be gone child. I have been curious in the searching of you, Because I understand you wise and valiant persons. 1. We understand our selves Sir. Bes. Nay Gentlemen, and dear friends o'th' Sword, No complement I pray, but to the cause I hang upon, which in few, is my honour. 2. You cannot hang too much Sir, for your honour, But to your cause. Bes. Be wise, and speak truth, my first doubt is, My beating by my Prince. 1. Stay there a little Sir, do you doubt a beating? Or have you had a beating by your Prince? Bes. Gentlemen o'th' Sword, my Prince has beaten me. 2. Brother, what think you of this case? 1. If he has beaten him, the case is clear. 2. If he have beaten him, I grant the case; But how? we cannot be too subtil in this business, I say, but how? Bes. Even with his Royal hand. 1. Was it a blow of love, or indignation? Bes. 'Twas twenty blows of indignation, Gentlemen, Besides two blows o'th face. 2. Those blows o'th' face have made a new cause on't, The rest were but an horrible rudeness. 1. Two blows o'th' face, and given by a worse man, I must confess, as the Sword-men say, had turn'd the business: Mark me brother, by a worse man; but being by his Prince, had they been ten, and those ten drawn teeth, besides the hazard of his nose for ever; all this had been but favours: this is my flat opinion, which I'le die in. 2. The King may do much Captain, believe it; for had he crackt your Scull through, like a bottle, or broke a Rib or two with tossing of you, yet you had lost no honour: This is strange you may imagine, but this is truth now Captain. Bes. I will be glad to embrace it Gentlemen; But how far may he strike me? 1. There is another: a new cause rising from the time and distance, in which I will deliver my opinion: he may strike, beat, or cause to be beaten: for these are natural to man: your Prince, I say, may beat you, so far forth as his dominion reacheth, that's for the distance; the time, ten miles a day, I take it. 2. Brother, you err, 'tis fifteen miles a day, His stage is ten, his beatings are fifteen. Bes. 'Tis the longest, but we subjects must-- 1. Be subject to it; you are wise and vertuous. Bes. Obedience ever makes that noble use on't, To which I dedicate my beaten body; I must trouble you a little further, Gentlemen o'th' Sword. 2. No trouble at all to us Sir, if we may Profit your understanding, we are bound By vertue of our calling to utter our opinions, Shortly, and discreetly. Bes. My sorest business is, I have been kick'd. 2. How far Sir? Bes. Not to flatter my self in it, all over, my sword forc'd but not lost; for discreetly I rendred it to save that imputation. 1. It shew'd discretion, the best part of valour. 2. Brother, this is a pretty cause, pray ponder on't; Our friend here has been kick'd. 1. He has so, brother. 2. Sorely he saies: Now, had he set down here Upon the meer kick, 't had been Cowardly. 1. I think it had been Cowardly indeed. 2. But our friend has redeem'd it in delivering His sword without compulsion; and that man That took it of him, I pronounce a weak one, And his kicks nullities. He should have kick'd him after the delivering Which is the confirmation of a Coward. 1. Brother, I take it, you mistake the question; For, say that I were kick'd. 2. I must not say so; Nor I must not hear it spoke by the tongue of man. You kick'd, dear brother! you're merry. 1. But put the case I were kick'd? 2. Let them put it that are things weary of their lives, and know not honour; put the case you were kick'd? 1. I do not say I was kickt. 2. Nor no silly creature that wears his head without a Case, his soul in a Skin-coat: You kickt dear brother? Bes. Nay Gentlemen, let us do what we shall do, Truly and honest[l]y; good Sirs to the question. 1. Why then I say, suppose your Boy kick't, Captain? 2. The Boy may be suppos'd is liable. 1. A foolish forward zeal Sir, in my friend; But to the Boy, suppose the Boy were kickt. Bes. I do suppose it. 1. Has your Boy a sword? Bes. Surely no; I pray suppose a sword too. 1. I do suppose it; you grant your Boy was kick't then. 2. By no means Captain, let it be supposed still; the word grant, makes not for us. 1. I say this must be granted. 2 This must be granted brother? 1. I, this must be granted. 2. Still this must? 1. I say this must be granted. 2. I, give me the must again, brother, you palter. 1. I will not hear you, wasp. 2. Brother, I say you palter, the must three times together; I wear as sharp Steel as another man, and my Fox bites as deep, musted, my dear brother. But to the cause again. Bes. Nay look you Gentlemen. 2. In a word, I ha' done. 1. A tall man but intemperate, 'tis great pity; Once more suppose the Boy kick'd. 2. Forward. 1. And being thorowly kick'd, laughs at the kicker. 2 So much for us; proceed. 1. And in this beaten scorn, as I may call it, Delivers up his weapon; where lies the error? Bes. It lies i'th' beating Sir, I found it four dayes since. 2. The error, and a sore one as I take it, Lies in the thing kicking. Bes. I understand that well, 'tis so indeed Sir. 1. That is according to the man that did it. 2. There springs a new branch, whose was the foot? Bes. A Lords. 1. The cause is mighty, but had it been two Lords, And both had kick'd you, if you laugh, 'tis clear. Bes. I did laugh, But how will that help me, Gentlemen? 2. Yes, it shall help you if you laught aloud. Bes. As loud as a kick'd man could laugh, I laught Sir. 1. My reason now, the valiant man is known By suffering and contemning; you have Enough of both, and you are valiant. 2. If he be sure he has been kick'd enough: For that brave sufferance you speak of brother, Consists not in a beating and away, But in a cudgell'd body, from eighteen To eight and thirty; in a head rebuk'd With pots of all size, degrees, stools, and bed-staves, This showes a valiant man. Bes. Then I am valiant, as valiant as the proudest, For these are all familiar things to me; Familiar as my sleep, or want of money, All my whole body's but one bruise with beating, I think I have been cudgell'd with all nations, And almost all Religions. 2. Embrace him brother, this man is valiant, I know it by my self, he's valiant. 1. Captain, thou art a valiant Gentleman, To bide upon, a very valiant man. Bes. My equall friends o'th'Sword, I must request your hands to this. 2. 'Tis fit it should be. Bes. Boy, get me some wine, and pen and Ink within: Am I clear, Gentlemen? 1. Sir, the world has taken notice what we have done, Make much of your body, for I'll pawn my steel, Men will be coyer of their legs hereafter. Bes. I must request you goe along and testife to the Lord Bacurius, whose foot has struck me, how you find my cause. 2. We will, and tell that Lord he must be rul'd, Or there are those abroad, will rule his Lordship. [Exeunt. Enter Arbaces at one door, and Gob. and Panthea at another. Gob. Sir, here's the Princess. Arb. Leave us then alone, For the main cause of her imprisonment Must not be heard by any but her self. [Exit Gob. You're welcome Sister, and would to heaven I could so bid you by another name: If you above love not such sins as these, Circle my heart with thoughts as cold as snow To quench these rising flames that harbour here. [P]an. Sir, does it please you I should speak? Arb. Please me? I, more than all the art of musick can, Thy speech doth please me, for it ever sounds, As thou brought'st joyfull unexpected news; And yet it is not fit thou shouldst be heard. I pray thee think so. Pan. Be it so, I will. Am I the first that ever had a wrong So far from being fit to have redress, That 'twas unfit to hear it? I will back To prison, rather than disquiet you, And wait till it be fit. Arb. No, do not goe; For I will hear thee with a serious thought: I have collected all that's man about me Together strongly, and I am resolv'd To hear thee largely, but I do beseech thee, Do not come nearer to me, for there is Something in that, that will undoe us both. Pan. Alas Sir, am I venome? Arb. Yes, to me; Though of thy self I think thee to be In equall degree of heat or cold, As nature can make: yet as unsound men Convert the sweetest and the nourishing'st meats Into diseases; so shall I distemper'd, Do thee, I pray thee draw no nearer to me. Pan. Sir, this is that I would: I am of late Shut from the world, and why it should be thus, Is all I wish to know. Arb. Why credit me Panthea, Credit me that am thy brother, Thy loving brother, that there is a cause Sufficient, yet unfit for thee to know, That might undoe thee everlastingly, Only to hear, wilt thou but credit this? By Heaven 'tis true, believe it if thou canst. Pan. Children and fools are ever credulous, And I am both, I think, for I believe; If you dissemble, be it on your head; I'le back unto my prison: yet me-thinks I might be kept in some place where you are; For in my self, I find I know not what To call it, but it is a great desire To see you often. Arb. Fie, you come in a step, what do you mean? Dear sister, do not so: Alas Panthea, Where I am would you be? Why that's the cause You are imprison'd, that you may not be Where I am. Pan. Then I must indure it Sir, Heaven keep you. Arb. Nay, you shall hear the case in short Panthea, And when thou hear'st it, thou wilt blush for me, And hang thy head down like a Violet Full of the mornings dew: There is a way To gain thy freedome, but 'tis such a one As puts thee in worse bondage, and I know, Thou wouldst encounter fire, and make a proof Whether the gods have care of innocence, Rather than follow it: Know that I have lost, The only difference betwixt man and beast, My reason. Pan. Heaven forbid. Arb. Nay 'tis gone; And I am left as far without a bound, As the wild Ocean, that obeys the winds; Each sodain passion throwes me where it lists, And overwhelms all that oppose my will: I have beheld thee with a lustfull eye; My heart is set on wickedness to act Such sins with thee, as I have been afraid To think of, if thou dar'st consent to this, Which I beseech thee do not, thou maist gain Thy liberty, and yield me a content; If not, thy dwelling must be dark and close, Where I may never see thee; For heaven knows That laid this punishment upon my pride, Thy sight at some time will enforce my madness To make a start e'ne to thy ravishing; Now spit upon me, and call all reproaches Thou canst devise together, and at once Hurle'em against me: for I am a sickness As killing as the plague, ready to seize thee. Pan. Far be it from me to revile the King: But it is true, that I shall rather choose To search out death, that else would search out me, And in a grave sleep with my innocence, Than welcome such a sin: It is my fate, To these cross accidents I was ordain'd, And must have patience; and but that my eyes Have more of woman in 'em than my heart, I would not weep: Peace enter you again. Arb. Farwell, and good Panthea pray for me, Thy prayers are pure, that I may find a death However soon before my passions grow That they forget what I desire is sin; For thither they are tending: if that happen, Then I shall force thee tho' thou wert a Virgin By vow to Heaven, and shall pull a heap Of strange yet uninvented sin upon me. Pan. Sir, I will pray for you, yet you shall know It is a sullen fate that governs us, For I could wish as heartily as you I were no sister to you, I should then Imbrace your lawfull love, sooner than health. Arb. Couldst thou affect me then? Pan. So perfectly, That as it is, I ne're shall sway my heart, To like another. Arb. Then I curse my birth, Must this be added to my miseries That thou art willing too? is there no stop To our full happiness, but these meer sounds Brother and Sister? Pan. There is nothing else, But these alas will separate us more Than twenty worlds betwixt us. Arb. I have liv'd To conquer men and now am overthrown Only by words Brother and Sister: where Have those words dwelling? I will find 'em out, And utterly destroy 'em; but they are Not to be grasp'd: let 'em be men or beasts, And I will cut 'em from the Earth, or Towns, And I will raze 'em, and the[n] blow 'em up: Let 'em be Seas, and I will drink 'em off, And yet have unquencht fire left in my breast: Let 'em be any thing but meerly voice. Pan. But 'tis not in the power of any force, Or policy to conquer them. Arb. Panthea, What shall we do? Shall we stand firmly here, and gaze our eyes out? Pan. Would I could do so, But I shall weep out mine. Arb. Accursed man, Thou bought'st thy reason at too dear a rate, For thou hast all thy actions bounded in With curious rules, when every beast is free: What is there that acknowledges a kindred But wretched man? Who ever saw the Bull Fearfully leave the Heifer that he lik'd Because they had one Dam? Pan. Sir, I disturb you and my self too; 'Twere better I were gone. Arb. I will not be so foolish as I was, Stay, we will love just as becomes our births, No otherwise: Brothers and Sisters may Walk hand in hand together; so will we, Come nearer: is there any hurt in this? Pan. I hope not. Arb. Faith there is none at all: And tell me truly now, is there not one You love above me? Pan. No by Heaven. Arb. Why yet you sent unto Tigranes, Sister. Pan. True, but for another: for the truth-- Arb. No more, I'le credit thee, thou canst not lie, Thou art all truth. Pan. But is there nothing else, That we may do, but only walk? methinks Brothers and Sisters lawfully may kiss. Arb. And so they may Panthea, so will we, And kiss again too; we were too scrupulous, And foolish, but we will be so no more. Pan. If you have any mercy, let me go To prison, to my death, to any thing: I feel a sin growing upon my blood, Worse than all these, hotter than yours. Arb. That is impossible, what shou'd we do? Pan. Flie Sir, for Heavens sake. Arb. So we must away, Sin grows upon us more by this delay. [Exeunt several wayes. Actus Quintus. Enter Mardonius And Lygones. Mar. Sir, the King has seen your Commission, and believes it, and freely by this warrant gives you power to visit Prince Tigranes, your Noble Master. Lygr. I thank his Grace and kiss his hand. Mar. But is the main of all your business ended in this? Lyg. I have another, but a worse, I am asham'd, it is a business. Mar. You serve a worthy person, and a stranger I am sure you are; you may imploy me if you please without your purse, such Offices should ever be their own rewards. Lyg. I am bound to your Nobleness. Mar. I may have need of you, and then this courtesie, If it be any, is not ill bestowed; But may I civilly desire the rest? I shall not be a hurter if no helper. Lyg. Sir you shall know I have lost a foolish Daughter, And with her all my patience, pilfer'd away By a mean Captain of your Kings. Mar. Stay there Sir: If he have reacht the Noble worth of Captain, He may well claim a worthy Gentlewoman, Though she were yours, and Noble. Lyg. I grant all that too: but this wretched fellow Reaches no further than the empty name That serves to feed him; were he valiant, Or had but in him any noble nature That might hereafter promise him a good man, My cares were so much lighter, and my grave A span yet from me. Mar. I confess such fellows Be in all Royal Camps, and have and must be, To make the sin of Coward more detested In the mean souldier that with such a foil Sets off much valour. By description I should now guess him to you, it was Bessus, I dare almost with confidence pronounce it. Lyg. 'Tis such a scurvie name as Bessus, and now I think 'tis he. Mar. Captain do you call him? Believe me Sir, you have a misery Too mighty for your age: A pox upon him, For that must be the end of all his service: Your Daughter was not mad Sir? Lyg. No, would she had been, The fault had had more credit: I would do something. Mar. I would fain counsel you, but to what I know not, he's so below a beating, that the Women find him not worthy of their Distaves, and to hang him were to cast away a Rope; he's such an Airie, thin unbodyed Coward, that no revenge can catch him: I'le tell you Sir, and tell you truth; this Rascal fears neither God nor man, he has been so beaten: sufferance has made him Wainscot: he has had since he was first a slave, at least three hundred Daggers set in's head, as little boys do new Knives in hot meat, there's not a Rib in's body o' my Conscience that has not been thrice broken with dry beating: and now his sides look like two Wicker Targets, every way bended; Children will shortly take him for a Wall, and set their Stone-bows in his forehead, he is of so base a sense, I cannot in a week imagine what shall be done to him. Lyg. Sure I have committed some great sin That this fellow should be made my Rod, I would see him, but I shall have no patience. Mar. 'Tis no great matter if you have not: if a Laming of him, or such a toy may do you pleasure Sir, he has it for you, and I'le help you to him: 'tis no news to him to have a Leg broken, or Shoulder out, with being turn'd o'th' stones like a Tansie: draw not your Sword if you love it; for on my Conscience his head will break it: we use him i'th' Wars like a Ram to shake a wall withal. Here comes the very person of him, do as you shall find your temper, I must leave you: but if you do not break him like a Bisket, you are much to blame Sir. [Exit Mar. Enter Bessus And the Sword men. Lyg. Is your name Bessus? Bes. Men call me Captain Bessus. Lyg. Then Ca[p]tain Bessus, you are a rank rascall, without more exordiums, a durty frozen slave; and with the favor of your friends here I will beat you. 2 Sword. Pray use your pleasure Sir, You seem to be a Gentleman. Lyg. Thus Captain Bessus, thus; thus twing your nose, thus kick, thus tread you. Bes. I do beseech you yield your cause Sir quickly. Lyg. Indeed I should have told that first. Bes. I take it so. 1 Sword. Captain, he should indeed, he is mistaken. Lyg. Sir, you shall have it quickly, and more beating, you have stoln away a Lady, Captain coward, and such an one. beats him. Bes. Hold, I beseech you, hold Sir, I never yet stole any living thing that had a tooth about it. Lyg. I know you dare lie. Bes. With none but Summer Whores upon my life Sir, my means and manners never could attempt above a hedge or hay-cock. Lyg. Sirra, that quits not me, where is this Lady? do that you do not use to do; tell truth, or by my hand, I'le beat your Captains brains out, wash'em, and put 'em in again, that will I. Bes. There was a Lady Sir, I must confess, once in my charge: the Prince Tigranes gave her to my guard for her safety, how I us'd her, she may her self report, she's with the Prince now: I did but wait upon her like a groom, which she will testife I am sure: if not, my brains are at your service when you please Sir, and glad I have 'em for you. Lyg. This is most likely, Sir, I ask you pardon, and am sorry I was so intemperate. Bes. Well I can ask no more, you will think it strange not to have me beat you at first sight. Lyg. Indeed I would, but I know your goodness can forget twenty beatings, you must forgive me. Bes. Yes there's my hand, go where you will, I shall think you a valiant fellow for all this. Lyg. My da[u]ghter is a Whore, I feel it now too sensible; yet I will see her, discharge my self from being father to her, and then back to my Country, and there die, farwell Captain. [Exit Lygo. Bes. Farwell Sir, farwell, commend me to the gentlewoman I pray. 1 Sword. How now Captain? bear up man. Bes. Gentlemen o'th'sword, your hands once more; I have been kickt agen, but the foolish fellow is penitent, has askt me Mercy, and my honour's safe. 2 Sword. We knew that, or the foolish fellow had better have kickt his grandsir. Bes. Confirm, confirm I pray. 1 Sword. There be our hands agen, now let him come and say he was not sorry, and he sleeps for it. Bes. Alas good ignorant old man, let him go, let him go, these courses will undo him. [Exeunt clear. Enter Lygones And Bacurius. Bac. My Lord, your authority is good, and I am glad it is so, for my consent would never hinder you from seeing your own King, I am a Minister, but not a governor of this State, yonder is your King, I'le leave you. [Exit. Enter Tigranes And Spaconia. Lyg. There he is indeed, and with him my disloyal child. Tigr. I do perceive my fault so much, that yet me thinks thou shouldst not have forgiven me. Lyg. Health to your Majesty. Tigr. What? good Lygones welcome, what business brought thee hither? Lyg. Several businesses. My publick businesses will appear by this, I have a message to deliver, which if it please you so to authorize, is an embassage from the Armenian State, unto Arbaces for your liberty: the offer's there set down, please you to read it. Tigr. There is no alteration happened since I came thence? Lyg. None Sir, all is as it was. Tigr. And all our friends are well? Lyg. All very well. Spa. Though I have done nothing but what was good, I dare not see my Father, it was fault enough not to acquaint him with that good. Lyg. Madam I should have seen you. Spa. O good Sir forgive me. Lyg. Forgive you, why? I am no kin to you, am I? Spa. Should it be measur'd by my mean deserts, indeed you are not. Lyg. Thou couldest prate unhappily ere thou couldst go, would thou couldst do as well, and how does your custome hold out here? Spa. Sir? Lyg. Are you in private still, or how? Spa. What do you mean? Lyg. Do you take mony? are you come to sell sin yet? perhaps I can help you to liberal Clients: or has not the King cast you off yet? O thou vile creature, whose best commendation is, that thou art a young whore, I would thy Mother had liv'd to see this, or rather that I had died ere I had seen it; why didst not make me acquainted when thou wert first resolv'd to be a whore, I would have seen thy hot lust satisfied more privately: I would have kept a dancer and a whole consort of musicians in my own house only to fiddle thee. Spa. Sir, I was never whore. Lyg. If thou couldst not say so much for thy self, thou shouldst be carted. Tigr. Lygones, I have read it, and I like it, you shall deliver it. Lyg. Well Sir, I will: but I have private business with you. Tigr. Speak, what is't? Lyg. How has my age deserv'd so ill of you, that you can pick no strumpets i'th' land, but out of my breed? Tigr. Strumpets, good Lygones? Lyg. Yes, and I wish to have you know, I scorn to get a whore for any prince alive, and yet scorn will not help methinks: my Daughter might have been spar'd, there were enow besides. Tigr. May I not prosper but she's innocent as morning light for me, and I dare swear for all the world. Lyg. Why is she with you then? can she wait on you better than your man, has she a gift in plucking off your stockings, can she make Cawdles well or cut your cornes? Why do you keep her with you? For a Queen I know you do contemn her, so should I, and every subject else think much at it. Tigr. Let 'em think much, but 'tis more firm than earth: thou see'st thy Queen there. Lyg. Then have I made a fair hand, I call'd her Whore. If I shall speak now as her Father, I cannot chuse but greatly rejoyce that she shall be a Queen: but if I shall speak to you as a States-man, she were more fit to be your whore. Tigr. Get you about your business to Arbaces, now you talk idlely. Lyg. Yes Sir, I will go, and shall she be a Queen? she had more wit than her old Father, when she ran away: shall she be Queen? now by my troth 'tis fine, I'le dance out of all measure at her wedding: shall I not Sir? Tigr. Yes marry shalt thou. Lyg. I'le make these withered kexes bear my body two hours together above ground. Tigr. Nay go, my business requires hast. Lyg. Good Heaven preserve you, you are an excellent King. Spa. Farwell good Father. Lyg. Farwell sweet vertuous Daughter, I never was so joyfull in all my life, that I remember: shall she be a Queen? Now I perceive a man may weep for joy, I had thought they had lyed that said so. [Exit Lygones. Tigr. Come my dear love. Spa. But you may see another may alter that again. Tigr. Urge it no more, I have made up a new strong constancy, not to be shook with eyes: I know I have the passions of a man, but if I meet with any subject that should hold my eyes more firmly than is fit, I'le think of thee, and run away from it: let that suffice. [Exeunt all. Enter Bacurius And his Servant. Bac. Three Gentlemen without to speak with me? Ser. Yes Sir. Bac. Let them come in. Enter Bessus with the two Sword-men. Ser. They are entred Sir already. Bac. Now fellows your business? are these the Gentlemen? Bes. My Lord, I have made bold to bring these Gentlemen, my friends o'th' Sword along with me. Bac. I am afraid you'l fight then. Bes. My good Lord, I will not, your Lordship is much mistaken, fear not Lord. Bac. Sir, I am sorry for't. Bes. I ask no more in honour, Gentlemen you hear my Lord is sorry. Bac. Not that I have beaten you, but beaten one that will be beaten: one whose dull body will require a laming, as Surfeits do the diet, spring and fall; now to your Sword-men; what come they for, good Captain Stock-fish? Bes. It seems your Lordship has forgot my name. Bac. No, nor your nature neither, though they are things fitter I must confess for any thing, than my remembrance, or any honest mans: what shall these Billets do; be pil'd up in my wood-yard? Bes. Your Lordship holds your mirth still, Heaven continue it: but for these Gentlemen, they come-- Bac. To swear you are a Coward, spare your book, I do believe it. Bes. Your Lordship still draws wide, they come to vouch under their valiant hands I am no Coward. Bac. That would be a show indeed worth seeing: sirra be wise, and take Mony for this motion, travel with it, and where the name of Bessus has been known or a good Coward stirring, 'twill yield more than a tilting. This will prove more beneficial to you, if you be thrifty, than your Captainship, and more natural: men of most valiant hands is this true? 2 Sword. It is so, most renowned. Bac. 'Tis somewhat strange. 1 Sword. Lord, it is strange, yet true; we have examined from your Lordships foot there, to this mans head, the nature of the beatings; and we do find his honour is come off clean and sufficient: this as our swords shall help us. Bac. You are much bound to your Bil-bow-men, I am glad you are straight again Captain; 'twere good you would think on some way to gratifie them, they have undergone a labour for you, Bessus would have puzl'd hercules with all his valour. 2 Sword. Your Lordship must understand we are no men o'th' Law, that take pay for our opinions: it is sufficient we have clear'd our friend. Bac. Yet there is something due, which I as toucht in Conscience will discharge Captain; I'le pay this Rent for you. Bes. Spare your self my good Lord; my brave friends aim at nothing but the vertue. Bac. That's but a cold discharge Sir for the pains. 2 Sword. O Lord, my good Lord. Bac. Be not so modest, I will give you something. Bes. They shall dine with your Lordship, that's sufficient. Bac. Something in hand the while, you Rogues, you Apple-squires: do you come hither with your botled valour, your windy froth, to limit out my beatings? 1 Sword. I do beseech your Lordship. 2 Sword. O good Lord. Bac. S'foot-what a heavy of beaten slaves are here! get me a Cudgel sirra, and a tough one. 2 Sword. More of your foot, I do beseech your Lordship. Bac. You shall, you shall dog, and your fellow-beagle. 1 Sword. O' this side good my Lord. Bac. Off with your swords, for if you hurt my foot, I'le have you flead you Rascals. 1 Sword. Mine's off my Lord. 2 Sword. I beseech your Lordship stay a little, my strap's tied to my Cod piece-point: now when you please. Bac. Captain these are your valiant friends, you long for a little too? Bes. I am very well, I humbly thank your Lordship. Bac. What's that in your pocket, hurts my Toe you Mungril? Thy Buttocks cannot be so hard, out with it quickly. 2 Sword. Here 'tis Sir, a small piece of Artillery, that a Gentleman a dear friend of your Lordships sent me with, to get it mended Sir, for if you mark, the nose is somewhat loose. Bac. A friend of mine you Rascal? I was never wearier of doing any thing, than kicking these two Foot-balls. Enter Servant. Serv. Here is a good Cudgel Sir. Bac. It comes too late I'me weary, pray thee do thou beat them. 2 Sword. My Lord, this is foul play i'faith, to put a fresh man upon us, men are but men Sir. Bac. That jest shall save your bones; Captain, Rally up your rotten Regiment and be gone: I had rather thrash than be bound to kick these Rascals, till they cry'd ho; Bessus you may put your hand to them now, and then you are quit. Farewel, as you like this, pray visit me again, 'twill keep me in good health. [Exit Bac. 2 Sword. H'as a devilish hard foot, I never felt the like. 1 Sword. Nor I, and yet I am sure I have felt a hundred. 2 Sword. If he kick thus i'th' Dog-daies, he will be dry foundred: what cure now Captain besides Oyl of Baies? Bes. Why well enough I warrant you, you can go. 2 Sword. Yes, heaven be thanked; but I feel a shrowd ach, sure h'as sprang my huckle-bone. 1 Sword. I ha' lost a hanch. Bes. A little butter, friend a little butter, butter and parseley and a soveraign matter: probatum est. 2 Sword. Captain we must request your hand now to our honours. Bes. Yes marry shall ye, and then let all the world come, we are valiant to our selves, and there's an end. 1 Sword. Nay then we must be valiant; O my ribs. 2 Sword. O my small guts, a plague upon these sharp-toed shooes, they are murtherers. [Exeunt clear. Enter Arbaces with his sword drawn. Arb. It is resolv'd, I bare it whilst I could, I can no more, I must begin with murther of my friends, and so go on to that incestuous ravishing, and end my life and sins with a forbidden blow, upon my self. Enter Mardonius. Mar. What Tragedy is near? That hand was never wont to draw a sword, but it cry'd dead to something. Arb. Mardonius, have you bid Gobrias come? Mar. How do you Sir? Arb. Well, is he coming? Mar. Why Sir, are you thus? why do your hands proclaim a lawless War against your self? Arb. Thou answerest me one question with an other, is Gobrias coming? Mar. Sir he is. Arb. 'Tis well, I can forbear your questions then, be gone. Mar. Sir, I have mark't. Arb. Mark less, it troubles you and me. Mar. You are more variable than you were. Arb. It may be so. Mar. To day no Hermit could be humbler than you were to us all. Arb. And what of this? Mar. And now you take new rage into your eyes, as you would look us all out of the Land. Arb. I do confess it, will that satisfie? I prethee get thee gone. Mar. Sir, I will speak. Arb. Will ye? Mar. It is my duty. I fear you will kill your self: I am a subject, and you shall do me wrong in't: 'tis my cause, and I may speak. Arb. Thou art not train'd in sin, it seems Mardonius: kill my self! by Heaven I will not do it yet; and when I will, I'le tell thee then: I shall be such a creature, that thou wilt give me leave without a word. There is a method in mans wickedness, it grows up by degrees: I am not come so high as killing of my self, there are a hundred thousand sins 'twixt me and it, which I must doe, and I shall come to't at last; but take my oath not now, be satisfied, and get thee hence. Mar. I am sorry 'tis so ill. Arb. Be sorry then, true sorrow is alone, grieve by thy self. Mar. I pray you let me see your Sword put up before I go: I'le leave you then. Arb. Why so? what folly is this in thee, is it not as apt to mischief as it was before? can I not reach it thinkst thou? these are toyes for Children to be pleas'd with, and not men, now I am safe you think: I would the book of fate were here, my Sword is not so sure but I would get it out and mangle that, that all the destinies should quite forget their fixt decrees, and hast to make us new, for other fortunes, mine could not be worse, wilt thou now leave me? Mar. Heaven put into your bosome temperate thoughts, I'le leave you though I fear. Arb. Go, thou art honest, why should the hasty error of my youth be so unpardonable to draw a sin helpless upon me? Enter Gobrias. Gob. There is the King, now it is ripe. Arb. Draw near thou guilty man, that art the authour of the loathedst crime five ages have brought forth, and hear me speak; curses more incurable, and all the evils mans body or his Spirit can receive be with thee. Gob. Why Sir do you curse me thus? Arb. Why do I curse thee? if there be a man subtil in curses, that exceeds the rest, his worst wish on thee, thou hast broke my heart. Gob. How Sir, have I preserv'd you from a child, from all the arrows, malice, or ambition could shoot at you, and have I this for my pay? Arb. 'Tis true, thou didst preserve me, and in that wert crueller than hardned murtherers of infants and their Mothers! thou didst save me only till thou hadst studied out a way how to destroy me cunningly thy self: this was a curious way of torturing. Gob. What do you mean? Arb. Thou knowst the evils thou hast done to me; dost thou remember all those witching letters thou sent'st unto me to Armenia, fill'd with the praise of my beloved Sister, where thou extol'st her beauty, what had I to do with that? what could her beauty be to me? and thou didst write how well she lov'd me, dost thou remember this? so that I doted something before I saw her. Gob. This is true. Arb. Is it? and when I was return'd thou knowst thou didst pursue it, till thou woundst me into such a strange and unbeliev'd affection, as good men cannot think on. Gob. This I grant, I think I was the cause. Arb. Wert thou? Nay more, I think thou meant'st it. Gob. Sir, I hate to lie, as I love Heaven and honesty, I did, it was my meaning. Arb. Be thine own sad judge, a further condemnation will not need, prepare thy self to dy. Gob. Why Sir to dy? Arb. Why shouldst thou live? was ever yet offender so impudent, that had a thought of Mercy after confession of a crime like this? get out I cannot where thou hurl'st me in, but I can take revenge, that's all the sweetness left for me. Gob. Now is the time, hear me but speak. Arb. No, yet I will be far more mercifull than thou wert to me; thou didst steal into me and never gav'st me warning: so much time as I give thee now, had prevented thee for ever. Notwithstanding all thy sins, if thou hast hope, that there is yet a prayer to save thee, turn and speak it to thy self. Gob. Sir, you shall know your sins before you do'em, if you kill me. Arb. I will not stay then. Gob. Know you kill your Father. Arb. How? Gob. You kill your Father. Arb. My Father? though I know't for a lie, made out of fear to save thy stained life; the very reverence of the word comes cross me, and ties mine arm down. Gob. I will tell you that shall heighten you again, I am thy Father, I charge thee hear me. Arb. If it should be so, as 'tis most false, and that I should be found a Bastard issue, the despised fruit of lawless lust, I should no more admire all my wild passions: but another truth shall be wrung from thee: if I could come by the Spirit of pain, it should be poured on thee, till thou allow'st thy self more full of lies than he that teaches thee. Enter Arane. Ara. Turn thee about, I come to speak to thee thou wicked man, hear me thou tyrant. Arb. I will turn to thee, hear me thou Strumpet; I have blotted out the name of Mother, as thou hast thy shame. Ara. My shame! thou hast less shame than any thing; why dost thou keep my Daughter in a prison? why dost thou call her Sister, and do this? Arb. Cease thy strange impudence, and answer quickly if thou contemnest me, this will ask an answer, and have it. Ara. Help me Gentle Gobrias. Arb. Guilt [dare] not help guilt though they grow together in doing ill, yet at the [punishment] they sever, and each flies the noise of other, think not of help, answer. Ara. I will, to what? Arb. To such a thing, as if it be a truth think what a creature thou hast made thy self, that didst not shame to do, what I must blush only to ask thee: tell me who I am, whose son I am without all circumstance, be thou as hasty as my Sword will be if thou refusest. Ara. Why, you are his son. Arb. His Son? swear, swear, thou worse than woman damn'd. Ara. By all that's good you are. Arb. Then art thou all that ever was known bad, now is the cause of all my strange mis-fortunes come to light: what reverence expectest thou from a child, to bring forth which thou hast offended heaven, thy husband, and the Land? adulterous witch, I know now why thou wouldst have poyson'd me, I was thy lust which thou wouldst have forgot: then wicked Mother of my sins, and me, show me the way to the inheritance I have by thee: which is a spacious world of impious acts, that I may soon possess it: plagues rot thee, as thou liv'st, and such diseases, as use to pay lust, recompence thy deed. Gob. You do not know why you curse thus. Arb. Too well; you are a pair of Vipers; and behold the Serpent you have got; there is no beast but if he knew it, has a pedigree as brave as mine, for they have more descents, and I am every way as beastly got, as far without the compass of Law as they. Ara. You spend your rage and words in vain, and rail upon a guess; hear us a little. Arb. No, I will never hear, but talk away my breath, and die. Gob. Why, but you are no Bastard. Arb. How's that? Ara. Nor child of mine. Arb. Still you go on in wonders to me. Gob. Pray you be more patient, I may bring comfort to you. Arb. I will kneel, and hear with the obedience of a child; good Father speak, I do acknowledge you, so you bring comfort. Gob. First know, our last King, your supposed Father was old and feeble when he married her, and almost all the Land thought she was past hope of issue from him. Arb. Therefore she took leave to play the whore, because the King was old: is this the comfort? Ara. What will you find out to give me satisfaction, when you find how you have injur'd me? let fire consume me, if ever I were a whore. Gob. For-bear these starts, or I will leave you wedded to despair, as you are now: if you can find a temper, my breath shall be a pleasant western wind that cools and blasts not. Arb. Bring it out good Father. I'le lie, and listen here as reverently as to an Angel: if I breath too loud, tell me; for I would be as still as night. Gob. Our King I say, was old, and this our Queen desir'd to bring an heir, but yet her husband she thought was past it, and to be dishonest I think she would not: if she would have been, the truth is, she was watcht so narrowly, and had so slender opportunities, she hardly could have been: but yet her cunning found out this way; she feign'd her self with child, and posts were sent in hast throughout the Land, and humble thanks was given in every Church, and prayers were made for her safe going and delivery: she feign'd now to grow bigger, and perceiv'd this hope of issue made her fear'd, and brought a far more large respect from every man, and saw her power increase, and was resolv'd, since she believ'd, she could not hav't indeed, at least she would be thought to have a child. Arb. Do I not hear it well? nay I will make no noise at all; but pray you to the point, quickly as you can. Gob. Now when the time was full, she should be brought to bed, I had a Son born, which was you, this the Queen hearing of mov'd me to let her have you; and such reasons she shewed me, as she knew would tie my secrecie, she swore you should be King, and to be short, I did deliver you unto her, and pretended you were dead, and in mine own house kept a funeral, and had an empty coffin put in Earth, that night this Queen feign'd hastily to labour and by a pair of women of her own, which she had charm'd, she made the world believe she was delivered of you. You grew up as the Kings Son, till you were six years old; then did the King dye, and did leave to me Protection of the Realm; and contrary to his own expectation, left this Queen truely with child indeed, of the fair Princess Panthea: then she could have torn her hair and did alone to me, yet durst not speak in publick, for she knew she should be found a traytor: and her tale would have been thought madness, or any thing rather than truth. This was the only cause why she did seek to poyson you, and I to keep you safe; and this the reason, why I sought to kindle some sparks of love in you to fair Panthea, that she might get part of her right again. Arb. And have you made an end now? is this all? if not, I will be still till I be aged, till all my hairs be Silver. Gob. This is all. Arb. And is it true say you too Madam? Ara. Yes heaven knows it is most true. Arb. Panthea then is not my Sister? Gob. No. Arb. But can you prove this? Gob. If you will give consent, else who dares go about it? Arb. Give consent? why I will have 'em all that know it rackt, to get this from 'em, all that wait without, come in, what ere you be, come in and be partakers of my joy, O you are welcome. Enter Bessus, Gentlemen, Mardonius, And other attendants. Arb. The best news, nay draw no nearer, they all shall hear it, I am found no King. Mar. Is that so good news? Arb. Yes the happiest news that ere was heard. Mar. Indeed 'twere well for you if you might be a little less obey'd. Arb. One call the Queen. Mar. Why she is there. Arb. The Queen Mardonius, Panthea is the Queen and I am plain Arbaces; go some one, she is in Gobrias house, since I saw you there are a thousand things delivered to me, you little dream of. [Exit a Gent. Mar. So it should seem my Lord, what fury's this? Gob. Believe me 'tis no fury, all that he saies is truth. Mar. 'Tis very strange. Arb. Why do you keep your hats off Gentlemen? is it to me? I swear it must not be; nay, trust me, in good faith it must not be; I cannot now command you, but I pray you for the respect you bare me, when you took me for your King, each man clap on his hat at my desire. Mar. We will, you are not found so mean a man, but that you may be cover'd as well as we, may you not? Arb. O not here, you may, but not I, for here is my Father in presence. Mar. Where? Arb. Why there: O the whole story would be a wilderness to lose thy self for ever: O pardon me dear Father for all the idle and unreverent words that I have spoke in idle moods to you: I am Arbaces, we all fellow-subjects, nor is the Queen Panthea now my Sister. Bes. Why if you remember fellow-subject Arbaces; I told you once she was not your sister: I, and she lookt nothing like you. Arb. I think you did, good Captain Bessus. Bes. Here will arise another question now amongst the Sword-men, whether I be to call him to account for beating me, now he is proved no King. Enter Lygones. Mar. Sir here's Lygones, the agent for the Armenian State. Arb. Where is he? I know your business good Lygones. Lyg. We must have our King again, and will. Arb. I knew that was your business: you shall have your King again, and have him so again as never King was had, go one of you and bid Bacurius bring Tigranes hither; and bring the Lady with him, that Panthea, the Queen Panthea sent me word this [morning], was brave Tigranes mistress. [Ex. two Gent. Lyg. 'Tis Spaconia. Arb. I, I, Spaconia. Lyg. She is my Daughter. Arb. She is so: I could now tell any thing I never heard: your King shall go so home, as never man went. Mar. Shall he go on's head? Arb. He shall have chariots easier than air that I will have invented; and ne're think one shall pay any ransome, and thy self that art the messenger, shalt ride before him on a horse cut out of an intire Diamond, that shall be made to go with golden wheeles, I know not how yet. Lyg. Why I shall be made for ever? they beli'd this King with us, and said he was unkind. Arb. And then thy Daughter, she shall have some strange thing, wee'l have the Kingdom sold utterly, and put into a toy which she shall wear about her carelesly some where or other. See the vertuous Queen; behold the humblest subject that you have kneel here before you. Enter Panthea And 1 Gent. Pan. Why kneel you to me that am your Vassal? Arb. Grant me one request. Pan. Alas what can I grant you? what I can, I will. Arb. That you will please to marry me if I can prove it lawfull. Pan. Is that all? more willingly than I would draw this air. Arb. I'le kiss this hand in earnest. 2 Gent. Sir, Tigranes is coming though he made it strange at first, to see the Princess any more. Enter Tigranes And Spaconia. Arb. The Queen thou meanest, O my Tigranes. Pardon me, tread on my neck, I freely offer it, and if thou beest so given take revenge, for I have injur'd thee. Tigr. No, I forgive, and rejoyce more that you have found repentance, than I my liberty. Arb. Mayest thou be happy in thy fair choice, for thou art temperate. You owe no ransom to the state, know that I have a thousand joyes to tell you of, which yet I dare not utter till I pay my thanks to Heaven for 'em: Will you go with me and help me? pray you do. Tigr. I will. Arb. Take then your fair one with you; and you Queen of goodness and of us, O give me leave to take your arm in mine: come every one that takes delight in goodness, help to sing loud thanks for me, that I am prov'd no King. * * * * * (A) A King and no King. | Acted at the Globe, by his Majesties Servants. | Written by Francis Beamount, and John Flecher. | At London | Printed for Thomas Walkley, and are to bee sold | at his shoppe at the Eagle and Childe in | Brittans-Bursse. 1619. (B) A King | and | No King. | Acted at the Blacke-Fryars, by his | Majesties Servants. | And now the second time Printed, according | to the true Copie. | Written by Francis Beamount and | John Flecher. | London, | Printed for Thomas Walkley, and are to be sold at | his shop at the Eagle and Childe in | Brittans-Burse. 1625. (C) A King, | and | No King. | Acted at the Blacke-Fryars, by his | Majesties Servants. | And now the third time Printed, according | to the true Copie. | Written by Francis Beamont & John Fletcher Gent. | The Stationer to | Dramatophilus. | A Play and no Play, who this Booke shall read, | Will judge, and weepe, as if 'twere done indeed. | London, | Printed by A. M. for Richard Hawkins, and are to bee sold | at his Shop in Chancerie Lane, neere | Serjeants Inne. 1631. (D) A King | and | No King. | Acted at the Black-Fryars, by his | Majesties Servants. | And now the fourth time printed, according | to the true Copie. | Written by Francis Beaumont & John Fletcher Gent. | The Stationer to | Dramatophilus. | A Play and no Play, who this Booke shall read, | Will judge, and weepe, as if 'twere done indeed. London, | Printed by E. G. for William Leake, and are to be sold | at his shop in Chancery-lane, neere unto the | Rowles. 1639. (E) A King | and | No King. | Acted at the Black-Fryers, by his | Majesties Servants. | And now the fifth time Printed, according | To the true Copie. | Written by Francis Beaumont & John Fletcher Gent. | The Statinor to | Dramatophilus.| A Play and no Play, who this Book shall read, Will judge, and weep, as if 'twere done indeed | London, | Printed for William Leak, and are to be sold | at his shop at the signe of the Crown in Fleet-| street, between the two temple Gates. 1655. On the back of the last page is printed a list of books printed or sold by William Leake. (F) A | King, | and | No King. | Acted at the Black-Fryars, by his | Majesties Servants. | And now the fourth time Printed, according to | the true Copie. | Written by Francis Beaumont and John Fletcher Gent. | The Stationer to | Dramatophilus. | A Play and no Play, who this Book shall read, | Will judge, and weep, as if 'twere done indeed. | London, Printed in the Year, 1661. (G) A | King | and | No King. | As it is now Acted at the | Theatre Royal, | By | His Majesties Servants. | Written by Francis Beaumont and John Fletcher Gent. | London: | Printed by Andr. Clark, for William and John Leake at the | Crown in Fleetstreet, betwixt the two Temple-gates. | M.DC.LXXVI. A contains on the title-page a wood-cut representing Arbaces with his crown partly lifted from his head by a hand emerging from a cloud. A prefixes the following dedication] To the Right Worshipfull and Worthie Knight, Sir Henrie Nevill. Worthy Sir, I Present, or rather returne unto your view, that which formerly hath beene received from you, hereby effecting what you did desire: To commend the worke in my unlearned method, were rather to detract from it, then to give it any luster. It sufficeth it hath your Worships approbation and patronage, to the commendation of the Authors, and incouragement of their further labours: and thus wholy committing my selfe and it to your Worships dispose I rest, ever readie to doe you service, not onely in the like, but in what I may. Thomas Walkley. p. 149, l. 4. A and B omit the List of Persons Represented in the Play. C--F] The Personated Persons. G] The Persons Represented. G omits] in the Play. G includes in its List of The Persons Represented the names of the players of the chief parts, viz.] Arbaces, Mr Hart; Tigranes, Mr Kynaston; Gobrias, Mr Wintershall; Bacurius, Mr Lydall; Mardonius, Mr Mohun; Bessus, Mr Lacy, or Mr Shottrell; Lygones, Mr Cartwright; Two Sword-men, Mr Watson, Mr Haynes; Arane, Mrs Corey; Panthea, Mrs Cox; Spaconia, Mrs Marshall. l. 12. Folio misprints] Ligoces. l. 21. C--G and Folio] The Queenes Mother. l. 27. A--G omit] Actus primus. Scena prima. G] Act I. l. 29. A omits] he. ll. 35 and 36. B] had's. p. 150, l. 2. A] them. l. 3. A] thou art. l. 5. A] and thou couldst. l. 8. A] with me. l. 9. A--F] winkst. G] winkedst. l. 10. A] strake. 1. 17. A] I am glad. l. 19. A] of his owne. l. 21. A] cruddles. B and G] crudles. l. 22. A] wouldst. A] in this passion. l. 25. A] for it. I. 26. A] neither good Bessus. l. 27. A] it is. l.30. A] I famed, I, I warrant you. I. 31. A] I am verie heartily. I. 32. A] ever. A] ath' warres. B--G omit] is. l. 39. A, B and G] in shifting a. p. 151, 11. 4 and 5. A] desperate. l. 5. A omits] At. l. 8. A] Prethee. l. 9. A, B and G] The Souldier. l. 10. A] meerely. l. 12. E] compasion. F] compassion. l. 14. B--F] a'th. l. 19. A, B and G] not I. l. 21. A] mean'st. B, C and G] meant'st. D, E and F] meanest. l. 26. A] the enemie. B] shouldest. l. 31. A--G] proceedst. l. 33. A] Come, come. l. 34. A] comst. l. 37. A] extreamities. l. 40. A] the prey. p. 152, ll. 1 and 2. In place of these lines A] Enter Arbaces and Tigranes, with attendants. l. 2. B and C] two Kings, &c. The two Gentlemen. l. 4. A] fall victorie. l. 9. A--G] are free as I. l. 18. A, B, C and G] yeare. l. 27. A omits] Tigr. l. 28. A--D and G] Arbaces. l. 29. A] talkt: for in Armenia. p. 153, l. 11. A] Tigranes, no. l. 16. A] an Act. l. 17. A and G] Fit for a God. B--F omit] man. l. 20. A] Its. l. 26. A] spoke. A] not mee. l. 40. A] are something. p. 154, l. 8. A] to take. B and G] her for to take. l. 17. A] no owne of. l. 18. A] Would finde. l. 19. A] off her damning. l. 20. A] twenty times. l. 29. Folio] sight. l. 40. A] Some two. p. 155, l. 3. For Exit Tigranes A] Exe. l. 8. B and G omit] don't. A] don. l. 20. A] ift. l. 21. A and G] with you. l. 22. A] sunke. l. 28. A] th' eare. l. 29. B and G] runne about his head. A] bloud runne abouts head. l. 30. A] didst thou learn that at. B--F] learn'st that at. G] learn'st thou that at. l. 31. A] Pust, did I not. l. 33. A--F] Talke. l. 34. A] While you. A--G] words. p. 156, l. 6. A] to a chaire. l. 8. A--F] other. A] will take. l. 14. A] give mee audience. G omits] me. l. 16. A] soone one of you. ll. 29 and 30. G omits] but I am grown To balk, but I defie. l. 30. A] but I desire, let. l. 32. B, C and G] draulst. D] drawlst. l. 34. G] in an instant. l. 36. A] An't. l. 38. A, B and G] As yet you. l. 39. A] command mee else. p. 157, l. 11. B, C and G] Were great as. l. 12. A] that I might. l. 14. A] with. l. 28. A omits] puffe. B and G omit the bracket, and print 'puffe' in roman type as part of the speech. l. 29. D, E and F] rules. l. 34. A] Will you be gone. l. 35. A] My word mooves. C--F] My words moves. l. 36. A] 2 Gent. l. 39. A] That they will. B omits] you. A omits] Exeunt all but Arb. and Mar. l. 40. Folio] the. p. 158, l. 7. Folio] scare. l. 17. A] doted, because. B--F omit] it. l. 35. A omits] but. A] of your faults. l. 39. A] above the earth. p. 159, l. 4. Folio] safe. l. 15. A, B and G] would. l. 21. A] these wilde moodes. l. 22. A] honest. l. 23. A, B and G] would. l. 25. A] would. l. 34. A, B, C and G] Give thee. l. 37. Folio misprints] paron. l. 40. C] doest. F omits] I. p. 160, l. 4. B, C and D] i' thine eare. F] thy eare. l. 10. A] Ith those. G] in those. l. 12. B] they wenches. l. 18. B by mistake Adds] Enter Bessus, and the two Gent. l. 22. A omits this stage-direction. l. 25. A] I am. l. 26. A] 1 Gent. l. 27. A] 2 Gent. l. 30. A] I bad you; halfe. l. 31. A] An't. l. 35. A] Panthan. l. 38. A] will not. l. 39. A omits] Sir. p. 161, l. 6. E and F] a good an opinion. l. 15. A omits] a. G] Enter a Messenger, with a Packet. l. 21. A] Thanke thee for. l. 29. A] teares enough. B--F] tears I'now. G] tears Enow. l. 32. C--F] set her. p. 162, l. 2. A] now has hired. l. 7. F] them. l. 12. A] laden. l. 16. E and F] that come. l. 18. A--D and G] mourning. l. 19. A] her sacred dew. l. 32. A] prayers. l. 34. A] dangers. l. 35. A omits] Exeunt. p. #163#, l. 3. A, B and G] either loves. l. 7. A--G] place. A] unfortunately too light. l. 17. A omits] thee. l. 24. Folio] make. l. 31. B and G] gi'n. A, B and G] to. l. 33. A] would place. p. #164#, l. 11. Folio misprints] could. l. 15. A--G] requires. A] more speed. l. 18. B] He shall not doe so Lord. l. 21. A Adds] Finis Actus Primi. B and C Add] The end of the First Act. l. 24. A] attendance. G Adds] and Guards. p. #165#, l. 5. A] paid downe. l. 20. A] let light. l. 25. A--D] eare. l. 30. A] another woman. l. 36. A] twill. F] 'twood not. l. 37. F omits] not. p. #, l. 9. A] mine own. l. 21. B--F] a did. l. 23. A] held time. l. 25. A--G with variations in spelling] my Lord Protectour. l. 29. Folio misprints] Cammanders. p. #167#, l. 7. A omits] as you. l. 12. A, B and G] prayers are. A] I will. l. 20. A omits] Arane. l. 23. A] Betweene. l. 36. A] heare it. l. 37. A] I, I prethee. p. #168#, l. 1. F] Captain. l. 3. A] neere a Captaine. l. 4. A] of the. l. 7. A--G] whom. l. 11. A] prethee. l. 14. F] was given. l. 18. A] I, but I. l. 20. A] saide. ll. 21 and 22. A] when one. l. 23. A] Marshallists. l. 30. F] doest. l. 31. A] twas so. B--G] so 'twas. l. 36. A] An't. l. 37. A and B] neerer. G] nearer. l. 39. A] kindnesses. p. #169#, l. 1. A and G] Thalestris. l. 10. A] for her honestie. l. 17. A] on her. l. 33. A Adds] Exit. B--G with various abbreviations Add] Exit Bessus. l. 34. A, B and G Add] Exit. l. 35. A--G omit stage-direction. l. 39. F] speeks them. p. #170#, l. 1. A] vertuous. l. 6. A] or feeles. l. 7. A--G] hope. l. 11. A--D and G] love. l. 16. E and F] where bargain'd. l. 18. A] find time worthy. l. 20. A, B and G] there is. l. 22. A] with this. l. 27. A] to see you Madam. l. 29. A omits] Gob. l. 35. A omits] Exeunt Women. p. #171#, l. 9. F] a stake. l.14. F] if foole. l. 20. A] prethee. l.22. F] noble sharp. l. 33. A] desire too. E and F] his one desire. p. #172#, l. i. A--D and G] those tender. l. 4. A, B and G] I shall. l. 13. B, C and F] Thalectris. l. 16. B, C and G] others. l. 26. A, B and G] women out. l. 29. A] say. l. 35. A--D and G] those. l. 37. A] places quickly. l. 38. A, D and F] a foote. B, C and E] afoote. G] afoot. p. #173#, l. 2. A] looke. l. 5. A] Enter two Citizens wives, and Philip. l. 15. A, B and G] with me downe. l. 16. A] abed. l. 17. A] tis. l. 18. A] prethee. l. 29. A] In good faith. l.34. A] I. l. 35. A omits] you. l. 37. A] had thrusting. G] shoving. l. 38. A] hap to go. p. #174#, l. 2. A] so on me. l. 5. A] have not. l. 10. A] law, thou art. A] there is. l. 11. A] thou art. A] of it. l. 12. A] he will never. l. 13. A] stripling. l. 17. A] you are. l. 18. B--F] cast. l. 19. A omits this line. l. 20. A--D and G] The King, the King, the King, the King. l. 21. A omits] Flourish. A] Enter Arbaces, Tigranes, Mardonius, and others. l. 23. E and F] I think. l. 29. A] without our blouds. B and G] but with our. G] bloud. l. 31. A] in your Townes. l. 32. A--D and G] about you; you may sit. l. 37. A, B and G] may you. F] you may fall. l. 38. A, B and G] when I. p. 175, l. 5. E and F] beheld. l. 6. A] hearts. l. 9. A] Hang him, hang him, hang him. l. 13. A, B and G] was farre. l. 14. E and F] nor to revile. l. 15. A--D and G] the nature. l. 19. A] made that name. l. 21. C and D] and well for. l. 22. B--G] word. l. 25. A] commendations. l. 29. A] Thus my. l. 30. A] calles. l. 36. A] Eate at. l. 40. In place of this line A] Exeunt. p. 176, l. 1. A omits one 'God bless your Majesty.' l. 7. A] n*. l. 10. A omits] so. B, C, D and G] women. A] Exeunt 1, 2, 3, and Women. l. 11. A--G] afore. l. 12. A] homeward. l. 13. A omits] all. l. 15. A] They are. A--G] heard on. l. 18. A Adds] Finis Actus Secundi. B and C Add] The end of the Second Act. l. 19. A] Actus Tertii Scaena Prima. l. 23. A] doth. l. 29. A--D and G] where you will have her. l. 37. A omits] I do hope she will not. p. 177, l. 6. A] Sir, sheele not. l. 15. B and G] would. l. 18. C--F omit] you. l. 24. A omits] I Gent. and. l. 25. A] here's. l. 29. A] them. B and G Add] Exit Gobrias. l. 35. A omits] and two Gentlemen. G Adds] Attendants, and Guards. p. 178, l. 11. A, B and G] sorrow. l. 14. A Adds] Exit. l. 15. A omits] Exit Arane. l. 32. G] words and kind ones. l. 35. C] doest. l. 36. D] forth my selfe. l. 38. A and G] thence. l. 40. A] wounded flesh. p. 179, l. 1. A, B and G] a quill. l. 2. A, B, C and G] wanton wing. l. 3. A] in thy bloud. l. 16. A, B and G omit] it. l. 33. A by mistake gives the words 'some one that hath [A has] a wit, answer, where is she' to Gobrias, with the result that the names of the speakers of the following four speeches are transposed. p. 180, l. 18. A] sleepe. l. 27. A] Is a long life of yet, I hope. l. 31. C, D and E] doest. ll. 33--35. A omits these lines. p. 181, l. 11. A] If shee were any. l.14. D] dispute. l. 16. F and G] naked. l. 19. A, B and G] is she not. l. 39. A, B and G] your brother. p. 182, l. 6. A] them. l. 8. A] yet so. l. 9. Folio prints] langish. l. 17. A] sudden change. l. 19. A, B and G] Pray God it doe. l. 24. A] prisoner. l. 31. A] in the. p. 183, l. 13. A, B and G] And how dare you then. C and D] And how then dare you. l. 21. A, B and G] that breath. l. 24. A] law. p. 184, l. 11*. A] subtiller. G] subtiler. l. 13. A and G] Tyrants. B] Tirants. F] mightest. l. 14. A] in the depth. B] i' the depth. C and G] i' the deepe. l. 18. A omits] Exeunt Tigr. and Bac. l. 21. G Adds] Exit Spaconia. l. 39. A and B] then to; here I. G] then too; here I. p. 185, l. 11. A] still in doubt. l. 12. A] This, this third. l. 25. A, B, C and G] A poysoner. l. 26. A by mistake gives this speech to Bacurius and the following one to Gobrias. l. 32. A] had it twixt. A] Exeunt omnes, prae. Ar. Mar. G] Exeunt Gob. Pan. and Bes. p. 186, l. 9. A] I prethee. l. 10. B and G] Am not I. l. 19. F] O do. l. 25. A] I prethee. l. 26. A Adds] Mar. I warrant ye. l. 28. G] of game. l. 30. B and G omit] it. p. 187, l. 2. A] them. l. 3. A] In this state (omits I). B, C, D and G] I' this state. l. 4. B--F] b' the. A] with. l. 5. A] with. l. 10. A, B and G with variations of spelling] God cald. C and D] heaven cald. l. 11. A] pounds. l. 17. A and G] afraid. l. 21. G] A pox. A--G] of their. l. 23. A] of me. l. 24. A] freshly to account, worthily. l. 25. B and G omit] the. l. 26. A omits] a. l. 27. Here and throughout the scene '3 Gent' is in A described as 'Gent.' l. 30. A] you are. l. 32. A] he nothing doubts. p. 188, l. 2. A--D, F and G with variations of spelling] O cry you mercie. E] O cir you mercy. l. 3. A, B, C and G with variations of spelling] agreeablie. l. 4. Here and in the following three lines A reads only one 'um' in place of three. l. 12. A by mistake omits] Bes. l. 19. A] plaine with you. l. 20. A] can doe him. A] resolutely. l. 21. B and C] hundreth. l. 22. F] no more. l. 23. A] pray ye. l. 26. A simply] Exit. l. 30. D] these two houres. l. 32. F omits] that. A] reserv'd. l. 34. A] are there. l. 35. A] likely to hold him this time here for mine. l. 36. B, C and G] yeare. D] these five yeares. l. 37. A] send me. p. 189, l. 27. A] I prethee. l. 28. A--D and G] beate. l. 31. A] pounds. l. 32. A omits] well. F] well and walk sooner. l. 33. C] I do. l. 36. C] doest. p. 190, l. 5. A--G] Come, unbuckle, quicke. l. 7. C--F] Unbuckle say. l. 17. A omits] Bac. l. 24. A] will I. l. 25. A] that this is all is left. G] that is left. l. 26. A omits] Bessus. l. 28. G] he's. l. 32. A, B and G] await. l. 35. A omits this stage-direction. l. 39. A] in their eyes. p. 191, l. 3. A--G] lies. l. 5. A--G] vex me. l. 6. G] thou art. l. 8. A omits] do. l. 12. F] fire. l. 14. A, B and G] is not that. G] there is. l. 18. A, B and G] I shall not. l. 20. A--G] I know 'tis. l. 21. A] hath ... 22. A] or fall. l. 34. A] of all this. p. 192, l. 2. A, B and G] shall I. l. 6. A] But what, what should. B and G] should. l. 11. A, B and G] on more advice. l. 17. A omits] a. l. 19. Folio misprints] faithul. l. 21. F] doe't. l. 23. C--F] doest. l. 24. A, B and G] I hope I. l. 37. E and F] doest. p. 193, l. 4. A, B and G] cause. l. 5. A, B, C and G omit] ha. l. 7. A, B, C and G] blow about the world. l. 8. A, B and G] his cause. l. 9. A] deare Mardonius. l. 12. A, B and G] Pray God you. l. 24. A, B and G] God preserve you, and mend you. l. 26. A, B and G] require. l. 30. A, B and G] use of. l. 32. A Adds] to them. p. 194, l. 2. A] I am. l. 4. A, B, F and G] I am. A includes the words 'I am glad on't' in the following speech of Mardonius. l. 5. A, B and G] to that. ll. 7--9. A omits these lines. l. 11. A, B and G] occasions. l. 15. A, B, C and G] to the. l. 16. A--D and G] for his. l. 17. A omits] Mar. l. 19. A] Doe for. The letters 'ith' are in C cut off at the end of the line. l. 23. A, B and G] a thing. l. 26. G] would fain have thee. l. 27. A] understands. G] understandest. l. 30. A] dost make. l. 32. A, B and G] tell me, it shall. C has the same reading, though the word 'tell' is by mistake cut off from the end of the line. A omits] too. l. 35. A, B and C] and mayst yet. p. 195, l. 2. A--D and G] that I have ever. l. 3. A, B and G omit] the. l. 8. A, B, C and G] your businesse. l. 12. A, B and G omit] now. l. 29. A--F] Gods and mans. l. 30. G] nature. l. 36. A Adds] Finis Actus Tertii. B and C Add] The end of the Third Act. p. 196, l. 1. A] Actus Quarti Scaena Prima. l. 2. A--G omit] and. l. 11. A, B, C and G] Yet fearing since they. A] th' are many. l. 13. F] them. l. 14. F] them. l. 15. A] fearefull; if he. l. 18. A] labour out this. l. 19. A] against. ll. 25 and 26. A encloses the words 'never ... humour' within brackets. l. 26. D, E and F] shot. l. 30. F] no farther. l. 33. A omits] But. p. 197, l. 3. A Adds] Exit. l. 4. A omits] Exit Gob. l. 13. A] yours. l. 29. G] I'm. A] if no more. l. 36. B--G] these. l. 37. A] That have Authority. l. 38. F] besides. p. 198, l. 1. A] words. l. 4. A] Ime. l. 12. A, B and G] Pray God. l. 13. A omits] in prison. l. 15. A and F] mine. A] turne. l. 27. A, B and G] deserv'd it. l. 33. A] griefes. l. 35. A] womans. F] woman. l. 36. A] lost. l. 39. G] unconstancy. p. 199, l. 7. A] kill me Ladie. l. 9. A omits] Lady. l. 15. A] for were. l. 20. A] in the. l. 26. A, B and G] is as firme. l. 27. A] and as lasting. l. 28. A, B and G] in the. C] in th' ayre. l. 31. A] murmurs. l. 37. A--D and G] wrongs. p. 200, l. 1. A by mistake omits] Spa. l. 2. A, B, C and G] Our ends alike. l. 9. A] hee's asham'd. l. 17. A] pray believe me. l. 19. A, B and G] No more. l. 20. A] and Mardonius. l. 32. A--G] outlast. Folio misprints] too. l. 38. A] is that. p. 201, l. 5. A] know. l. 10. A] pratling. l. 11. A] to it. l. 15. A--G] Beside. l. 17. A] Sirra. l. 23. A] Staffe poak't. A, B, C and G] through. F] throw. l. 24. A--D and G] broke. l. 25. D, E and F] stifled with. l. 30. F] worst. l. 35. A] you may say Sir what. Folio misprints] you. l. 36. A gives this line to Mardonius. p. 202, l. 3. A, B and G] I thank God. l. 5. A] doe it. l. 6. A omits] Doe. l. 13. A Adds] and a Souldier like a termogant. l. 16. A] let um be prisoners. l. 18. F] them. ll. 19 and 20. A gives these lines to Bacurius. ll. 21 and 22. A and G give these lines to Spaconia. l. 22. A, B, C and G] deare. l. 23. A] Ex. Bacu. with Tig. and Spa. l. 24. A, B, C and G] have you. l. 25. F] prove. l. 30. A] Sadlers. l. 32. A, D and F] darest. l. 33. A] knowest. l. 34. G] will not. l. 37. A] shall then tell. B] of this. l. 40. A] Where. F] them. p. 203, l. 1. A Adds after off] doe, kill me. l. 2. A omits] worse. l. 4. A, B, C and G] a dead sleepe. l. 5. A] Like forraigne swords. l. 10. A] all thine. l. 12. G] Wilt. A] with me good Mardonius. l. 20. A, B and G] and all beautie. l. 22. F] she is not. l. 23. A] doe enlarge her. l. 26. A] that would have. l. 29. E and F] heat. l. 30. E] To here wretched. F omits] a. l. 38. A] knew of. B, C and D] knewst the. p. 204, l. 7. A] is it. l. 15. A--D and G omit] a. l. 16. A omits] Thousands. E and F] Thousand. A] denie it. l. 18. A, B and G] vertue. l. 24. A omits] all. l. 26. A--G] stooles there boy. l. 32. A, B and G] and my deare. l. 33. B, C and G] to th' cause. l. 35. F omits this line. l. 37. A prints the words 'be wise, and speake truth' as the conclusion of the second Sword-man's speech. p. 205, l. 4. A] If he have. l. 5. B--E] If a have. F] If I have. l. 12. A] case. l. 13. A, B and G] an honourable. l. 15. A, B and G] we Sword-men. l. 17. A, B and G] drawne ten teeth. A--G] beside. l. 18. A] all these. l. 21. B--E] a crackt. l. 22. A] with crossing. l. 26. A--G] There's. l. 30. A, B, C and G] mile. l. 32. A--G] mile. l. 34. A, B and C] 'Tis a the longest. G] o' the longest. l. 35. A by mistake gives this line to Bessus and the following speech to the first Sword-man. p. 206, ll. 5 and 6. F] word forc'd. l. 9. A--D and G] case. l. 12. A] sit. G] sat. l. 13. A] it had. l. 15. E and F] delivery. l. 19. B--E] A should. F] And should. A--D and G] deliverie. l. 24. A] by th'. l. 25. A] you are. l. 28. A omits] the. l. 32. B and G] that we. l. 33. Folio misprints] honesty. A] good Sir to th'. l. 35. A] The boy may be supposd, hee's lyable; but kicke my brother. p. 207, l. 7. A] Still the must. l. 9. A--D and G omit] I. A] againe, againe. l. 12. F omits] my. l. 20. A] at the kicke. l. 22. F] baren scorn, as I will call it. l. 27. A--G] sore indeed Sir. l. 29. A] the foole. l. 30. A] Ah Lords. l. 32. A, B, C and G] laught. p. 208, l. 5. A--G] size, daggers. F] sizes. l. 16. A] To abide upon't. l. 20. A, B, C and G omit] me. F] Both get me. l. 21. F] cleane. l. 22. G] what you have done. l. 27. F] Go will, and tell. l. 28. A--D] Or there be. l. 29. A omits and before Gob. l. 33. A omits] Exit Gob. l. 34. A] you are. A, B, C and G] and I would. A, B and G] to God. l. 38. G] the rising. l. 39. B, C and G] I shall. l. 40. Folio misprints] Ban. p. 209, l. 3. A] does. l. 6. A] I prethee. l. 8. A, B and G] I am. l. 23. A, B and G] In as equal a degree. C and D] In equal a degree. l. 27. A] I prethee. l. 33. C, D and E] and there is. E] no cause. F] and there is none can see. p. 210, l. 6. D, E and F] stop. l. 11. A, B and G] God keepe you. l. 12. A, B and G] cause. l. 19. A] innocents. l. 20. A, B and G omit] that. l. 24. A, B and G] it is. l. 27. A, B and G] as it lists. l. 33. A encloses 'Which I beseech thee doe not' within brackets. l. 36. A, B and G] For God knows. l. 39. A] start eye to. p. 211, l. 2. F] them. l. 5. A] should. l. 11. F] them. l. 20. A, B and G] sinnes. l. 32. A] no steppe. p. 212, ll. 1-6 and 8. F] them. l. 2. A] them. l. 5. Folio] and them. l. 6. A] drinke them off. l. 25. A gives this line to Panthea. l. 27. D, E and F] brother. l. 29. B] i' this. l. 35. A omits] Why. l. 38. A, B and G] I know thou. p. 213, l. 4. A, B and G omit too before scrupulous. ll. 8 and 9. In place of these lines G reads] I dare no longer stay. l. 9. A and B] hotter I feare then yours. l. 11. A, B and G] for God's sake. l. 14. A omits stage-direction. B and G omit] several wayes. A Adds] Finis Actus Quarti. B and C Add] The end of the Fourth Act. l. 15. A] Actus Quinti Scaena Prima. l. 19. A] leave to visit. l. 20. A] hands. l. 26. A] officers. p. 214, l. 3. B--F] were a valiant. l. 6. A] something lighter. l. 28. A--D omit] he. G] h'as. l. 29. B--F] a was. l. 30. A] in his. E and F] in in's. l. 31. A--E] a my. F] in my. G] i'my. l. 33. A, B and G] like to wicker Targets. l. 35. A omits] he. A] so low a sence. l. 36. A] should. l. 38. A, B and G] That this strange fellow. p. 215, l. 3. A--D and G] broke. A--G] or a shoulder out. A--F] ath' stones. l. 4. A] of my. l. 10. A omits] the. l. 13. Folio misprints] Catain. l. 16. A omits] Sword. l. 19. A] thus kicke you, and thus. B and G] thus kicke, and thus. l. 21. A--D and G] told you that. l. 23. A omits] Sword. A--F] a should. l. 25. A, B, C and G] a one. l. 26. A omits] beats him. l. 29. A, B and G] Sir I know. l. 30. A prints 'Bes.' at the beginning of the following line, thus making this line part of Lygones' speech. p. 216, l. 6. A, B and G] you would. l. 7. A, B, C and G] strange now to have. l. 12. Folio misprints] danghter. l. 13. A, B and G] of being. l. 15. A omits] Lygo. l. 18. A omits] Sword. l. 19. A] ath' sword. l. 20. G] h'as. l. 23. A] a kick't. l. 24. A omits 'Bes.,' thus making this line part of the second Sword-man's speech. l. 25. A omits] Sword. A gives the words 'Now let him come and say he was not sorry, And he sleepes for it' to '2,' i.e., the second Sword-man. l. 26. B--F] a was not. B--F] a sleepes. l. 28. A omits] clear. G] Exeunt omnes. l. 34. A prints this stage-direction after the words 'There he is indeed' in l. 35. p. 217, l. 3. A, B, C and G] businesse will. l. 5. B] the Armenia state. l. 9. F omits] is. l. 20. A--G] couldst prate. l. 28. A] vild. B and C] vilde. B--F] commendations. l. 30. A, B and G] or rather would I. l. 34. A and F] mine own. l. 38. A] and like it. p. 218, l. 3. A] in the. B, C, D and G] i' the. l. 6. B misprints] my Prince. l. 8. A] beside. l. 12. A] men. l. 13. C] Cawdle. l. 14. A] your Queene. l. 21. A] should speake. l. 27. A] a Queene. l. 33. A, B and G] Good God. l. 37. A, B and G omit] all. p. 219, l. 4. A] that shall. l. 6. A omits] all. l. 7. A] a servant. l. 11. A] and Swordmen. In A this stage-direction is printed after the following line. l. 15. A--F] ath' sword. l. 17. A--D and G omit] much. l. 20. A] I can aske. l. 23. A] will require launcing. l. 24. A] and full. l. 28. A omits] must. l. 31. A, B and G] God continue it. l. 32. F misprints] they to it. p. 220, l. 5. The two Sword-men are throughout the scene referred to in A as '2' or '1.' l. 6. A omits 'Bac.,' thus giving the line to the second Sword-man. l. 13. A--G omit] on. F] them, that have. l. 16. A--F] ath' law. l. 22. F] That is. A] their paines. l. 26. A] ye rogues, ye apple-squiers. l. 31. A] a many of. F] a beautie of. l. 33. E] I do beseech. l. 35. A--F] A this side. p. 221, l. 4. A] in your pocket slave, my key you. B and G] in your pocket slave, my toe. l. 5. A] with't. l. 11. A--G] doing nothing. l. 12. A omits this stage-direction. B] Enter Servant, Will. Adkinson. l. 13. A--D] Here's. l. 14. A] I am. A] prethee. l. 15. A] beate um. l. 17. A omits] Sir. l. 18. A omits] Captain, Rally. A] up with your. F] rally upon. l. 20. A] cride hold. l. 22. E and F] vit me. l. 23. A, B and G] breath. A omits] Exit Bac. l. 25. A] Ime sure I ha. l. 26. B--F] a kicke. B--F] a will. l. 27. C--F] beside. l. 29. A, B and G] yes, God be thanked. l. 33. A, B, C and G] is a. l. 34. A] hands. p. 222, l. 2. A omits] clear. G] Exeunt omnes. l. 4. A--D and G] bore. After this line A Adds]--Hell open all thy gates, And I will thorough them; if they be shut, Ile batter um, but I will find the place Where the most damn'd have dwelling; ere I end, Amongst them all they shall not have a sinne, But I will call it mine: l. 5. A--D and G] friend. A, B and G] to an. l. 13. B, C and D] a comming. l. 14. A--G] does your hand. l. 19. This line from 'I can' and the next line are given by A to Mardonius. l. 24. A] humblier. p. 223, l. 4. A, B and G omit] and. l. 12. A] thinkest. l. 13. G] these are tales. l. 15. A--D and G] should get. l. 17. A] Farre other Fortunes. l. 19. A, B and G] God put. G] temporall. l. 20. A Adds] Exit. B and. G Add] Exit Mar. l. 21. A--D and G] errors. l. 27. A, B and G omit] more. l. 35. A--D and G omit] my. p. 224, l. 4. F] knowest. l. 9. A] doest. l. 12. A] and I when I. F] knowest. l. 16. B and F] meanst. l. 17. A, B, C and G] a lie. A, B and G] God and. l. 22. A, B and G] wouldst. l. 28. A] gavest. l. 31. A] your selfe. B and G] it thy selfe. l. 38. A and G] know it. l. 39. E and F] staind. p. 225, l. 7. A, B, C and G] allowest. l. 15. C--F] doest ... doest. l. 17. A--D and G] Cease thou strange. l. 18. A] contemn'st. ll. 20 and 21. Folio misprints] dear ... punishnment. l. 35. A and C] expects. B] expectes. D] expectst. G] expect'st. l. 39. A] thou wicked. p. 226, l. 10. A, B, C and G] of a law. l. 19. A omits] you. ll. 25 and 26. A--G] Land as she. l. 29. A misprints] Arb. l. 31. A--D and G omit] a. p. 227, l. 2. A] opportunitie. ll. 4 and 5. A, B and G] and God was humbly thankt in every Church, That so had blest the Queene, and prayers etc. l. 12. A--D and G] quicke. l. 14. A] abed. l. 16. A] sware. l. 20. A] the Queene. l. 23. A--G] yeare. l. 28. A] her talke. l. 32. A] sparke. l. 35. A, B and G] till I am. A] are silver. l. 37. A omits] too. I. 38. A, B and G] yes God knowes. p. 228, l. 2. A by mistake omits] Gob. A] dare. l, 3. A] them. l. 4. A--G] waites. l. 7. A] Ent. Mar. Bessus, and others. l. 8. A omits] Arb. A] Mardonius, the best. B misprints] Mar. l. 11. E and F] happie. l. 14. A] On, call. l. 19. A omits] Exit a Gent. l. 24. A omits] I swear it must not be; nay, trust me. l. 26. B and C] beare. l. 28. A] but you are not. p. 229, l. 1. A] I say she. l. 8. A] Armenian king. I. 15. Folio misprints] morrning. l. 16. A omits this stage-direction. l. 24. A and G] He shall. B] A shall. C] An shall. l. 25. A--G] shall. l. 26. F omits] that. l. 31. A misprints] thinke. l. 35. In place of this stage-direction A after the word 'Queen' in l. 33 reads] Enter Pan. p. 230, l. 6. A gives this speech to Mardonius. l. 7. A omits] at first. l. 8. In A this stage-direction occurs after 'Queen' in the following line. l. 14. A and F] Maist. G] May'st. l. 17. F] them. l. 20. A--G] your Queene. l. 23. A--G Add] Finis. A KING AND NO KING. VERSE AND PROSE VARIATIONS [1]. p. 152, ll. 8 and 9. A--D and G] 3 ll. dare, day, I. l. 27. A] 2 ll. of, thus. ll. 33--35. A] 3 ll. Earth, Prince, Acts. p. 157, l. 20. A] 2 ll. king, away. p. 159, ll. 3--8. A--D and G] 8 ll. praise, worthy, death, lies, there, though, dust, envy. ll. 11 and 12. A--D and G] 3 ll. windes, I, speake. ll. 29--38. A--D and G] 14 ll. lives, said, truth, bin, see, parts, world, farre, yeares, mee, thee, wilt, I, thus. l. 40 and p. 160, ll. 1--4. A--D and G] 6 ll. Take, which, love, I, mee, eare. p. 160, ll. 6 and 7. A, B and G] 2 ll. Mardonius, Jewell. p. 161, ll. 21 and 22. A--D and G] 3 ll. newes, not, Gobrias. ll. 27--33. A--D and G] 9 ll. farre, sinnes, teares, feele, brest, stand, eyes, world, me. ll. 37--39 and p. 162, ll. 1--7. A--D and G] 14 ll. know, died, life, pardon'd, fit, olde, thence, out, there, live, me, deathes, life, him. p. 163, ll. 16--22. A, B, C and G] 9 ll. of (C = halfe), free, thine, prisoner, force, me, unwilling, Tigranes, there. D] 7 ll. halfe, free, thine, force, me, Tigranes, there. p. 164, ll. 1 and 2. A--D and G] 2 ll. health, jealous. ll. 25--35 and p. 165, ll. 1 and 2. A--D and G] 16 ll. regard, prisoner, escape, prisoner, woman, me, say, her, Lord, grace, arme, womanhood, death, sonne, why, speake. p. 165, ll. 14--17. A--D and G] 5 ll. Time, know, thinke, heart, urgd. ll. 35 and 36. A--D and G] 2 ll. it, believ'd. ll. 38 and 39. A--D and G] 3 ll. you, die, uncredited (D = should). p. 166, ll. I and 2. A--D and G] 4 ll. Then, me, King, plots (D adds l. 3). ll. 5--8. A--D and G] 5 ll. me, content, power, me, done. ll. 19--23. A--and G] Prose. ll. 25 and 26. A] These, these. p. 167, ll. 9 and 10. A] 2 ll. well, so. l. 19. A--D and G] 2 ll. readie, morrow. ll. 21--28. A] 10 ll. hereafter, office, discourse, how, victorie, doe, danger, long, while, beate. ll. 21--24. B--D and G] 4 ll. hereafter, office, discourse, victory. ll. 25--28. B--D and G] Prose. p. 168, ll. 11 and 12. A--D and G] 2 ll. Bessus, nothing. ll. 39 and 40. A--D and G] 2 ll. kindnesses, name. p. 169, ll. 2--5. A--D and G] 5 ll. letter, enough, you, me, me. ll. 25 and 26. A and G] 2 ll. Already, foolish. ll. 37--40 and p. 170, ll. 1--4. A--D and G] 12 ll. Lord, live, um, Just, um, mee, heare, way, care, you, enjoyes, worth. p. 170, ll. 5--10. A--D and G] Prose. ll. 13--18. A--D and G] 8 ll. you, power, leave, like, him, humours, lesse, offer'd. ll. 27--29. A] 2 ll. pleasure, Madam. p. 171, ll. 10--15. A--D and G] 9 ll. unreasonably, seeme, ill, ought, faire, good, prayer, me, you. ll. 31--40 and p. 172, ll. 1--6. A--D] 24 ll. weepe, words, sorrow, me, him, Thalestris, me, sweare, slay, thee, himselfe, me, yet, face, you, eares, eyes, him, hope, dead, him, fast, ceremony, him. p. 172, ll. 15--21. A--D and G] 11 ll. not, desire, others, me (or not), wrong, birth, injure, hither, commanded, ready, servand. p. 174, l. 20. A--D] 2 ll. king, now. ll. 23--29. A--D and G] 11 ll. full, subjects, love, height, you, me, warre, imagine, word, blouds, peace. [Footnote 1: The prose printings of E and F have not been recorded.] p. 175, ll. 4--6. A--D and G] 4 ll. man, home, hearts, deliverance. ll. 11--22. A--D and G] 17 ll. wrong, spectacle, people, me, deserved, you, dwels, man, compare, selfe, you, too, name, fall, loves, content, worke. ll. 35 and 36. A--D and G] 2 ll. Children, is. p. 176, ll. 23--35. A--D and G] 14 ll. Sir, hands, know, her, home, stubbornnesse, like, her, Jewell, mad, sister, is, Land, another. p. 177, ll. 1--10. A--D and G] 11 ll. Too, friends, know, loth, passe, constraint, so, speake, health, love, againe. p. 178, ll. 16 and 17. A--D and G] 3 ll. die, returne, life. ll. 30--32. A--D and G] 4 ll. ill, kneele, gaine, you. p. 179, ll. 21--25. A--D and G] 7 ll. earth, alas, command, me, short, sister brought. p. 180, l. 31. A--D and G] 7 ll. Gobrias, meane. p. 191, ll. 35 and 36. A--D and G] 2 ll. utterd, careleslie. p. 192, ll. 9--12. E and F] 3 ll. And, love, thou. ll. 10--12. A--D and G] 3 ll. Advice, love, thou. ll. 16 and 17. A--D and G] 3 ll. This, caution, it (G Adds l. 18). ll. 20 and 21. A--D and G] 2 ll. it, it. p. 194, ll. 5 and 6. A] 2 ll. cutlers, King. l. 22. A] 2 ll. will, whatsoever. p. 195, ll. 21 and 22. A] 2 ll. in-, Monsters. p. 196, l. 38, and p. 197, ll. 1--3. A] Prose. p. 197, ll. 4 and 5. A] 3 ll. you, Spaconia, thus. p. 199, ll. 9 and 10. B--D and G] 3 ll. Ladie, passe, King. ll. 12 and 13. A and G] 2 ll. from, remov'd. p. 201, ll. 7 and 8. A] 2 ll. All, folly. l. 15. A] 2 ll. Sir, warrant. ll. 39 and 40. p. 202, ll. 19--22. A] Prose. p. 204, l. 6. A--D and G] 2 ll. false, letter. ll. 36--38. A] 2 ll. Truth, Prince. p. 205, ll. 26 and 27. A--D and G] 3 ll. Another, distance, opinion. p. 207, ll. 11--13. A--D and G] 3 ll. Toge-, man, brother. I. 24. A--D and G] 2 ll. Sir, since. p. 209, ll. 31 and 32. A] 2 ll. me, brother. p. 212, ll. ii and 12. A] 3 ll. Panthea, gaze, out. ll. 23 and 24. A] 2 ll. you, gone. Act 5 is in verse in Quartos A, B, C and D, in prose in Quartos E and F from p. 214, I. 22. As the Second Folio also prints it in prose it has been decided to give here the verse of Quarto A (1619) in full. Actus Quinti Scaena Prima. Enter Mardonius, and Ligones. Mar. Sir, the King has seene your Commission, and beleeves it, and freely by this warrant gives you leave to visit Prince Tigranes your noble Master. Lig. I thanke his Grace, and kisse his hands. Mar. But is the maine of all your businesse Ended in this? Lig. I have another, but a worse; I am asham'd, it is a businesse.-- Mar. You serve a worthy person, and a stranger I am sure you are; you may imploy mee if you please, without your purse, such Officers should ever be their owne rewards. Lig. I am bound to your noblenesse. Mar. I may have neede of you, and then this curtesie, If it be any, is not ill bestowed: But may I civilly desire the rest? I shall not be a hurter, if no helper. Lig. Sir, you shall know I have lost a foolish daughter, And with her all my patience; pilferd away By a meane Captaine of your Kings. Mar. Stay there Sir: If he have reacht the noble worth of Captaine, He may well claime a worthy gentlewoman, Though shee were yours, and noble. Lig. I grant all that too: but this wretched fellow Reaches no further then the emptie name, That serves to feede him; were he valiant, Or had but in him any noble nature, That might hereafter promise him a good man; My cares were something lighter, and my grave A span yet from me. Mar. I confesse such fellowes Be in all royall Campes, and have, and must be To make the sinne of coward more detested In the meane Souldier, that with such a foyle Sets of much valour: By description I should now guesse him to you. It was Bessus, I dare almost with confidence pronounce it. Lig. Tis such a scurvy name as Bessus, and now I thinke tis hee. Mar. Captaine, doe you call him? Beleeve me Sir, you have a miserie Too mighty for your age: A pox upon him, For that must be the end of all his service: Your daughter was not mad Sir? Lig. No, would shee had beene, The fault had had more credit: I would doe something. Mar. I would faine counsell you; but to what I know not: Hee's so below a beating, that the women Find him not worthy of their distaves; and To hang him, were to cast away a rope, Hee's such an ayrie thin unbodied coward, That no revenge can catch him: He tell you Sir, and tell you truth; this rascall Feares neither God nor man, has beene so beaten: Sufferance has made him wanscote; he has had Since hee was first a slave, at least three hundred daggers Set in his head, as little boyes doe new knives in hot meat; Ther's not a rib in's bodie a my conscience, That has not beene thrice broken with drie beating; And now his sides looke like to wicker targets, Everie way bended: Children will shortly take him for a wall, And set their stone-bowes in his forhead: is of so low a sence, I cannot in a weeke imagine what should be done to him. Lig. Sure I have committed some great sinne, That this strange fellow should be made my rod: I would see him, but I shall have no patience: Mar. Tis no great matter if you have not, if a laming of him, or such a toy may doe you pleasure Sir, he has it for you, and Ile helpe you to him: tis no newes to him to have a leg broke, or a shoulder out, with being turnd ath' stones like a Tanzie: Draw not your sword, if you love it; for my conscience his head will breake it: we use him ith' warres like a Ramme to shake a wall withall; here comes the verie person of him, doe as you shall find your temper I must leave you: but if you doe not breake him like a bisket, you are much too blame Sir. Ex. Mardo. Enter Bessus and Sword-men. Lig. Is your name Bessus? Bes. Men call me Captaine Bessus. Lig. Then Captaine Bessus you are a ranke rascall, without more exordiums, a durty frozen slave; and with the favour of your friends here, I will beate you. 2. Pray use your pleasure Sir, you seem to be a gentleman. Lig. Thus Captaine Bessus, thus; thus twinge your nose, thus kicke you, and thus tread you. Bess. I doe beseech you yeeld your cause Sir quickly. Lig. Indeed I should have told you that first. Bess. I take it so. 1. Captaine, a should indeed, he is mistaken: Lig. Sir you shall have it quickly, and more beating, You have stolne away a Lady Captaine Coward, And such a one. Bes. Hold, I beseech you, hold Sir, I never yet stole any living thing That had a tooth about it. Lig. Sir I know you dare lie With none but Summer Whores upon my life Sir. Bes. My meanes and manners never could attempt Above a hedge or hey-cocke. Lig. Sirra that quits not me, where is this Ladie, Doe that you doe not use to doe, tell truth, Or by my hand Ile beat your Captaines braines out. Wash um, and put um in againe, that will I. Bes. There was a Ladie Sir, I must confesse Once in my charge: the Prince Tigranes gave her To my guard for her safetie, how I usd her She may her selfe report, shee's with the Prince now: I did but waite upon her like a Groome, Which she will testifie I am sure: If not, My braines are at your service when you please Sir, And glad I have um for you? Lig. This is most likely, Sir I aske your pardon, And am sorrie I was so intemperate. Bes. Well, I can aske no more, you would thinke it strange Now to have me beat you at first sight. Lig. Indeed I would but I know your goodnes can forget Twentie beatings. You must forgive me. Bes. Yes, ther's my hand, goe where you will, I shall thinke You a valiant fellow for all this. Lig. My daughter is a Whore, I feele it now too sencible; yet I will see her, Discharge my selfe of being Father to her, And then backe to my Countrie, and there die; Farewell Captaine. Exit. Bes. Farewell Sir, farewell, commend me to the Gentlewoman I praia. 1. How now Captaine, beare up man. Bes. Gentlemen ath' sword your hands once more, I have Beene kickt againe, but the foolish fellow is penitent, Has ask't me mercy, and my honor's safe. 2. We knew that, or the foolish fellow had better a kick't His Grandsire. Confirme, confirme I pray. 1. There be our hands againe. 2. Now let him come, and say he was not sorry, And he sleepes for it. Bes. Alas good ignorant old man, let him goe, Let him goe, these courses will undoe him. Exeunt. Enter Ligones, and Bacurius. Bac. My Lord your authoritie is good, and I am glad it is so, for my consent would never hinder you from seeing your owne King. I am a Minister, but not a governour of this state; yonder is your King, Ile leave you. Exit. Lig. There he is indeed, Enter Tig. and Spaco. And with him my disloyall childe. Tig. I doe perceive my fault so much, that yet Me thinkes thou shouldst not have forgiven me. Lig. Health to your Maiestie. Tig. What? good Ligones, welcome; what businesse brought thee hether? Lig. Severall Businesses. My publique businesse will appeare by this: I have a message to deliver, which If it please you so to authorise, is An embassage from the Armenian state, Unto Arbaces for your libertie: The offer's there set downe, please you to read it. Tig. There is no alteration happened Since I came thence? Lig. None Sir, all is as it was. Tig. And all our friends are well. Lig. All verie well. Spa. Though I have done nothing but what was good, I dare not see my Father: it was fault Enough not to acquaint him with that good. Lig. Madam I should have scene you. Spa. O good Sir forgive me. Lig. Forgive you, why I am no kin to you, am I? Spa. Should it be measur'd by my meane deserts, Indeed you are not. Lig. Thou couldst prate unhappily Ere thou couldst goe, would thou couldst doe as well. And how does your custome hold out here. Spa. Sir. Lig. Are you in private still, or how? Spa. What doe you meane? Lig. Doe you take money? are you come to sell sinne yet? perhaps I can helpe you to liberall Clients: or has not the King cast you off yet? O thou wild creature, whose best commendation is, that thou art a young Whore. I would thy Mother had liv'd to see this: or rather would I had dyed ere I had seene it: why did'st not make me acquainted when thou wert first resolv'd to be a Whore? I would have seene thy hot lust satisfied more privately. I would have kept a dancer, and a whole consort of Musitions in mine owne house, onely to fiddle thee. Spa. Sir I was never whore. Lig. If thou couldst not say so much for thy selfe thou shouldst be Carted. Tig. Ligones I have read it, and like it, You shall deliver it. Lig. Well Sir I will: but I have private busines with you. Tig. Speake, what ist? Lig. How has my age deserv'd so ill of you, That you can picke no strumpets in the Land, But out of my breed. Tig. Strumpets good Ligones? Lig. Yes, and I wish to have you know, I scorne To get a Whore for any Prince alive, And yet scorne will not helpe me thinkes: My daughter Might have beene spar'd, there were enough beside. Tig. May I not prosper, but Shee's innocent As morning light for me, and I dare sweare For all the world. Lig. Why is she with you then? Can she waite on you better then your men, Has she a gift in plucking off your stockings, Can she make Cawdles well, or cut your Comes, Why doe you keepe her with you? For your Queene I know you doe contemne her, so should I And every Subject else thinke much at it. Tig. Let um thinke much, but tis more firme then earth Thou seest thy Queene there. Lig. Then have I made a faire hand, I cald her Whore, If I shall speake now as her Father, I cannot chuse But greatly rejoyce that she shall be a Queene: but if I should speake to you as a Statesman shee were more fit To be your Whore. Tig. Get you about your businesse to Arbaces, Now you talke idlie. Lig. Yes Sir, I will goe. And shall she be a Queene, she had more wit Then her old Father when she ranne away: Shall shee be a Queene, now by my troth tis fine, Ile dance out of all measure at her wedding: Shall I not Sir? Tigr. Yes marrie shalt thou. Lig. He make these witherd Kexes beare my bodie Two houres together above ground. Tigr. Nay, goe, my businesse requires haste. Lig. Good God preserve you, you are an excellent King. Spa. Farewell good Father. Lig. Farewell sweete vertuous Daughter; I never was so joyfull in my life, That I remember: shall shee be a Queene? Now I perceive a man may weepe for joy, I had thought they had lied that said so. Exit. Tig. Come my deare love. Spa. But you may see another May alter that againe. Tigr. Urge it no more; I have made up a new strong constancie, Not to be shooke with eyes; I know I have The passions of a man, but if I meete With any subject that shall hold my eyes More firmely then is fit; Ile thinke of thee, and runne away from it: let that suffice. Exeunt. Enter Bacurius, and a servant. Bac. Three gentlemen without to speake with me? Ser. Yes Sir. Bac. Let them come in. Ser. They are enterd Sir already. Enter Bessus, and Swordmen. Bac. Now fellowes, your busines, are these the Gentlemen. Bess. My Lord I have made bold to bring these Gentlemen my Friends ath' sword along with me. Bac. I am afraid youle fight then. Bes. My good Lord I will not, your Lordship is mistaken, Feare not Lord. Bac. Sir I am sorrie fort. Bes. I can aske no more in honor, Gentlemen you heare my Lord is sorrie. Bac. Not that I have beaten you, but beaten one that will be beaten: one whose dull bodie will require launcing: As surfeits doe the diet, spring and full. Now to your swordmen, what come they for good Captaine Stock-fish? Bes. It seemes your Lordship has forgot my name. Bac. No, nor your nature neither, though they are things fitter I confesse for anything, then my remembrance, or anie honestmans, what shall these billets doe, be pilde up in my Wood-yard? Bes. Your Lordship holds your mirth still, God continue it: but for these Gentlemen they come. Bac. To sweare you are a Coward, spare your Booke, I doe beleeve it. Bes. Your Lordship still drawes wide, they come to vouch under their valiant hands, I am no Coward. Bac. That would be a shew indeed worth seeing: sirra be wise and take money for this motion, travell with it, and where the name of Bessus has been knowne, or a good Coward stirring, twill yeeld more then a tilting. This will prove more beneficiall to you, if you be thriftie, then your Captaineship, and more naturall; Men of most valiant hands is this true? 2. It is so most renowned, Tis somewhat strange. 1. Lord, it is strange, yet true; wee have examined from your Lordships foote there to this mans head, the nature of the beatings; and we doe find his honour is come off cleane, and sufficient: This as our swords shall helpe us. Bac. You are much bound to you bilbow-men, I am glad you are straight again Captaine: twere good you would thinke some way to gratifie them, they have undergone a labour for you Bessus, would have puzzled hercules, with all his valour. 2. Your Lordship must understand we are no men ath' Law, that take pay for our opinions: it is sufficient wee have cleer'd our friend. Bac. Yet here is something due, which I as toucht in conscience will discharge Captaine; Ile pay this rent for you. Bess. Spare your selfe my good Lord; my brave friends aime at nothing but the vertue. Bac. Thats but a cold discharge Sir for their paines. 2. O Lord, my good Lord. Bac. Be not so modest, I will give you something. Bes. They shall dine with your Lordship, that's sufficient. Bac. Something in hand the while; ye rogues, ye apple-squiers: doe you come hether with your botled valour, your windie frothe, to limit out my beatings. 1. I doe beseech your Lordship. 2. O good Lord. Bac. Sfoote, what a many of beaten slaves are here? get me a cudgell sirra, and a tough one. 2. More of your foot, I doe beseech your Lordship. Bac. You shall, you shall dog, and your fellow beagle. 1. A this side good my Lord. Bac. Off with your swords, for if you hurt my foote, Ile have you fleade you rascals. 1. Mines off my Lord. 2. I beseech your Lordship stay a little, my strap's tied to my codpiece point: Now when you please. Bac. Captaine, these are your valiant friends, you long for a little too? Bess. I am verie well, I humblie thanke your Lordship. Bac. Whats that in your pocket slave, my key you mungrell? thy buttocks cannot be so hard, out with't quicklie. 2. Here tis Sir, a small piece of Artillerie, that a gentleman a deare friend of your Lordships sent me with to get it mended Sir; for it you marke, the nose is somewhat loose. Bac. A friend of mine you rascall, I was never wearier of doing nothing, then kicking these two foote-bals. Ser. Heres a good cudgell Sir. Bac. It comes too late; I am wearie, prethee doe thou beate um. 2. My Lord this is foule play ifaith, to put a fresh man upon us; Men, are but men. Bac. That jest shall save your bones, up with your rotten regiment, and be gone; I had rather thresh, then be bound to kicke these raskals, till they cride hold: Bessus you may put your hand to them now, and then you are quit. Farewell, as you like this, pray visit mee againe, twill keepe me in good breath. 2. Has a divellish hard foote, I never felt the like. 1. Nor I, and yet Ime sure I ha felt a hundred. 2. If he kicke thus ith dog-daies, he will be drie founderd: what cure now Captaine, besides oyle of bayes? Bess. Why well enough I warrant you, you can goe. 2. Yes, God be thanked; but I feele a shrewd ach, sure he has sprang my huckle bone. 1. I ha lost a haunch. Bess. A little butter friend, a little butter; butter and parselie is a soveraigne matter: probatum est. 1. Captaine, we must request your hands now to our honours. Bess. Yes marrie shall ye, and then let all the world come, we are valiant to our selves, and theres an end. 1. Nay, then we must be valiant; O my ribbes. 2. O my small guts, a plague upon these sharpe toe'd shooes, they are murderers. Exeunt. Enter Arbaces with his Sword drawne. Arb. It is resolv'd, I bore it whilst I could, I can no more, Hell open all thy gates, And I will thorough them; if they be shut, Ile batter um, but I will find the place Where the most damn'd have dwelling; ere I end, Amongst them all they shall not have a sinne, But I may call it mine: I must beginne With murder of my friend, and so goe on To an incestuous ravishing, and end My life and sinnes with a forbidden blow Upon my selfe. Enter Mardonius. Mardo. What Tragedie is here? That hand was never wont to draw a Sword, But it cride dead to something: Arb. Mar. have you bid Gobrius come? Mar. How doe you Sir? Arb. Well, is he comming? Mar. Why Sir are you thus? Why does your hand proclaime a lawlesse warre Against your selfe? Arb. Thou answerest me one question with another, Is Gobrius comming? Mar. Sir he is. Arb. Tis well. Mar. I can forbeare your questions then, be gone Sir, I have markt. Arb. Marke lesse, it troubles you and me. Mar. You are more variable then you were. Arb. It may be so. Mar. To day no Hermit could be humblier Then you were to us all. Arb. And what of this? Mar. And now you take new rage into your eies, As you would looke us all out of the Land. Arb. I doe confesse it, will that satisfie, I prethee get thee gone. Mar. Sir I will speake. Arb. Will ye? Mar. It is my dutie, I feare you will kill your selfe: I am a subject, And you shall doe me wrong in't: tis my cause, And I may speake. Arb. Thou art not traind in sinne, It seemes Mardonius: kill my selfe, by heaven I will not doe it yet; and when I will, Ile tell thee then: I shall be such a creature, That thou wilt give me leave without a word. There is a method in mans wickednesse, It growes up by degrees; I am not come So high as killing of my selfe, there are A hundred thousand sinnes twixt me and it, Which I must doe, I shall come toot at last; But take my oath not now, be satisfied, And get thee hence. Mar. I am sorrie tis so ill. Arb. Be sorrie then, True sorrow is alone, grieve by thy selfe. Mar. I pray you let mee see your sword put up Before I goe; Ile leave you then. Arb. Why so? What follie is this in thee? is it not As apt to mischiefe as it was before? Can I not reach it thinkest thou? these are toyes For children to be pleas'd with, and not men; Now I am safe you thinke: I would the booke Of Fate were here, my sword is not so sure, But I should get it out, and mangle that That all the destinies should quite forget Their fix't decrees, and hast to make us new Farre other Fortunes mine could not be worse, Wilt thou now leave me? Mar. God put into your bosome temperate thoughts, He leave you though I feare. Exit. Arb. Goe, thou art honest, Why should the hastie errors of my youth Be so unpardonable, to draw a sinne Helpelesse upon me? Enter Gobrius. Gob. There is the King, now it is ripe. Arb. Draw neere thou guiltie man, That are the author of the loathedst crime Five ages have brought forth, and heare me speake Curses incurable, and all the evils Mans bodie or his spirit can receive Be with thee. Gob. Why Sir doe you curse me thus? Arb. Why doe I curse thee, if there be a man Subtill in curses, that exceedes the rest, His worst wish on thee. Thou hast broke my hart. Gob. How Sir? Have I preserv'd you from a childe, From all the arrowes, malice or ambition Could shoot at you, and have I this for pay? Arb. Tis true thou didst preserve me, and in that Wert crueller then hardned murderers Of infants and their mothers; thou didst save me Onely till thou hadst studdied out a way How to destroy me cunningly thy selfe: This was a curious way of torturing. Gob. What doe you meane? Arb. Thou knowst the evils thou hast done to me, Dost thou remember all those witching letters Thou sentst unto me to Armenia, Fild with the praise of my beloved Sister, Where thou extolst her beautie; what had I To doe with that, what could her beautie be To me, and thou didst write how well shee lov'd me, Doest thou remember this: so that I doated Something before I saw her. Gob. This is true. Arb. Is it, and I when I was returnd thou knowst Thou didst pursue it, till thou woundst mee into Such a strange, and unbeleev'd affection, As good men cannot thinke on. Gob. This I grant, I thinke I was the cause. Arb. Wert thou? Nay more, I thinke thou meantst it. Gob. Sir I hate a lie. As I love God and honestie, I did: It was my meaning. Arb. Be thine owne sad Judge, A further condemnation will not need: Prepare thy selfe to die. Gob. Why Sir to die? Arb. Why wouldst thou live, was ever yet offender So impudent, that had a thought of mercy After confession of a crime like this? Get out I cannot, where thou hurlst me in, But I can take revenge, that's all the sweetnesse Left for me. Gob. Now is the time, heare me but speake. Arb. No, yet I will be farre more mercifull Then thou wert to me; thou didst steale into me, And never gavest me warning: so much time As I give thee now, had prevented thee For ever. Notwithstanding all thy sinnes, If thou hast hope, that there is yet a prayer To save thee, turne, and speake it to your selfe. Gob. Sir, you shall know your sinnes before you doe um If you kill me. Arb. I will not stay then. Gob. Know you kill your Father. Arb. How? Gob. You kill your Father. Arb. My Father? though I know it for a lie Made out of feare to save thy stained life: The verie reverence of the word comes crosse me, And ties mine arme downe. Gob. I will tell you that shall heighten you againe, I am thy Father, I charge thee heare me. Arb. If it should be so, As tis most false, and that I should be found A bastard issue, the dispised fruite Of lawlesse lust, I should no more admire All my wilde passions: but another truth Shall be wrung from thee: If I could come by The spirit of paine, it should be powr'd on thee, Till thou allowest thy selfe more full of lies Then he that teaches thee. Enter Arane. Arane. Turne thee about, I come to speake to thee thou wicked man, Heare me thou Tyrant. Arb. I will turne to thee, Heare me thou Strumpet: I have blotted out The name of mother, as thou hast thy shame. Ara. My shame, thou hast lesse shame then anything: Why dost thou keepe my daughter in a prison? Why dost thou call her Sister, and doe this? Arb. Cease thou strange impudence, and answere quickly, If thou contemn'st me, this will aske an answere, And have it. Ara. Helpe me gentle Gobrius. Arb. Guilt dare not helpe guilt, though they grow together In doing ill, yet at the punishment They sever, and each flies the noyse of other, Thinke not of helpe, answere. Ara. I will, to what? Arb. To such a thing as if it be a truth, Thinke what a creature thou hast made thy selfe, That didst not shame to doe, what I must blush Onely to aske thee: tell me who I am, Whose sonne I am, without all circumstance; Be thou as hastie, as my Sword will be If thou refusest. Ara. Why you are his sonne. Arb. His sonne? Sweare, sweare, thou worse then woman damn'd. Ara. By all thats good you are. Arb. Then art thou all that ever was knowne bad. Now is The cause of all my strange misfortunes come to light: What reverence expects thou from a childe To bring forth which thou hast offended Heaven, Thy husband and the Land: Adulterous witch I know now why thou wouldst have poyson'd me, I was thy lust which thou wouldst have forgot: Thou wicked mother of my sinnes, and me, Shew me the way to the inheritance I have by thee: which is a spacious world Of impious acts, that I may soone possesse it: Plagues rott thee, as thou liv'st, and such diseases As use to pay lust, recompence thy deed. Gob. You doe not know why you curse thus. Arb. Too well: You are a paire of Vipers, and behold The Serpent you have got; there is no beast But if he knew, it has a pedigree As brave as mine, for they have more discents, And I am every way as beastly got, As farre without the compasse of a law, As they. Ara. You spend your rage, and words in vaine, And raile upon a guesse: heare us a little. Arb. No I will never heare, but talke away My breath, and die. Gob. Why but you are no Bastard. Arb. Howe's that? Ara. Nor childe of mine. Arb. Still you goe on in wonders to me. Gob. Pray be more patient, I may bring comfort to you. Arb. I will kneele, And heare with the obedience of a childe; Good Father speake, I doe acknowledge you, So you bring comfort. Gob. First know our last King your supposed Father Was olde and feeble when he marryed her, And almost all the Land as shee past hope Of issue from him. Arb. Therefore shee tooke leave To play the whoore, because the King was old: Is this the comfort? Ara. What will you find out To give me satisfaction, when you find How you have injur'd me: let fire consume mee, If ever I were whore. Gob. Forbeare these starts, Or I will leave you wedded to despaire, As you are now: if you can find a temper, My breath shall be a pleasant westerne wind, That cooles, and blastes not. Arb. Bring it out good Father, He lie, artd listen here as reverentlie As to an Angell: If I breathe too loude, Tell me; for I would be as still as night. Gob. Our King I say was old, and this our Queene Desired to bring an heire; but yet her husband Shee thought was past it, and to be dishonest I thinke shee would not; if shee would have beene, The truth is, shee was watcht so narrowlie, And had so slender opportunitie, Shee hardly could have beene: But yet her cunning Found out this way; shee fain'd her selfe with child, And postes were sent in haste throughout the Land, And God was humbly thankt in every Church, That so had blest the Queen, and prayers were made For her safe going, and deliverie: Shee fain'd now to grow bigger, and perceiv'd This hope of issue made her feard, and brought A farre more large respect from everie man. And saw her power increase, and was resolv'd, Since shee believ'd shee could not have't indeede; At least shee would be thought to have a child. Arb. Doe I not heare it well: nay, I will make No noise at all; but pray you to the point, Quicke as you can. Gob. Now when the time was full, Shee should be brought abed; I had a sonne Borne, which was you: This the Queene hearing of, Mov'd me to let her have you, and such reasons Shee shewed me, as shee knew would tie My secresie: shee sware you should be King; And to be short, I did deliver you Unto her, and pretended you were dead; And in mine owne house kept a Funerall, And had an emptie coffin put in earth: That night the Queene fain'd hastilie to labour, And by a paire of women of her owne, Which shee had charm'd, shee made the world believe Shee was deliver'd of you: you grew up As the Kings sonne, till you were six yeere olde; Then did the King die, and did leave to me Protection of the Realme; and contrarie To his owne expectation, left this Queene Truly with Childe indeed of the faire Princesse Panthea: Then shee could have torne her heire, And did alone to me yet durst not speake In publike; for shee knew shee should be found A Traytor, and her talke would have beene thought Madnesse or any thing rather then truth: This was the onely cause why shee did seeke To poyson you, and I to keepe you safe: And this the reason why I sought to kindle Some sparke of love in you to faire Panthea, That shee might get part of her right agen. Arb. And have you made an end now, is this all? If not, I will be still till I am aged, Till all my heires are silver. Gob. This is all. Arb. And is it true say you Maddam? Ara. Yes, God knowes it is most true. Arb. Panthea then is not my Sister. Gob. No. Arb. But can you prove this? [Gob.] If you will give consent: else who dare goe about it. Arb. Give consent? Why I will have them all that know it rackt To get this from um: All that waites without Come in, what ere you be come in, and be Partakers of my Joy: O you are welcome. Ent. Mar: Bessus, and others. Mardonius the best newes, nay, draw no neerer They all shall heare it: I am found no King. Mar. Is that so good newes? Art. Yes, the happiest newes that ere was heard. Mar. Indeed twere well for you, If you might be a little lesse obey'd. Arb. On, call the Queene. Mar. Why she is there. Arb. The Queene Mardonius, Panthea is the Queene, And I am plaine Arbaces, goe some one, She is in Gobrius house; since I saw you There are a thousand things delivered to me You little dreame of. Mar. So it should seeme: My Lord, What furi's this. Gob. Beleeve me tis no fury, All that he sayes is truth. Mar. Tis verie strange. Arb. Why doe you keepe your hats off Gentlemen, Is it to me? in good faith it must not be: I cannot now command you, but I pray you For the respect you bare me, when you tooke Me for your King, each man clap on his hat at my desire. Mar. We will: but you are not found So meane a man, but that you may be cover'd As well as we, may you not? Arb. O not here, You may, but not I, for here is my Father in presence. Mar. Where? Arb. Why there: O the whole storie Would be a wildernesse to loose thy selfe For ever; O pardon me deare Father, For all the idle, and unreverent words That I have spoke in idle moodes to you: I am Arbaces, we all fellow subjects, Nor is the Queene Panthea now my Sister. Bes. Why if you remember fellow subject Arbaces, I tolde you once she was not your sister, I say she look't nothing like you. Arb. I thinke you did good Captaine Bessus. Bes. Here will arise another question now amongst the Swordmen, whether I be to call him to account for beating me, now he's prov'd no King. Enter Ligones. Ma. Sir, heres Ligones The Agent for the Armenian King. Arb. Where is he, I know your businesse good Ligones. Lig. We must have our King againe, and will. Arb. I knew that was your businesse, you shall have You King againe, and have him so againe As never King was had. Goe one of you And bid Bacurius bring Tigranes hither, And bring the Ladie with him, that Panthea The Queene Panthea sent me word this morning Was brave Tigranes mistresse. Lig. Tis Spaconia. Arb. I, I, Spaconia. Lig. She is my daughter. Arb. Shee is so, I could now tell any thing I never heard; your King shall goe so home As never man went. Mar. Shall he goe on's head? Arb. He shall have Chariots easier than ayre That I will have invented; and nere thinke He shall pay any ransome; and thy selfe That art the Messenger shall ride before him On a Horse cut out of an entire Diamond, That shall be made to goe with golden wheeles, I know not how yet. Lig. Why I shall be made For ever, they belied this King with us And sayd he was unkind. Arb. And then thy daughter, She shall have some strange thinke, wele have the Kingdome Sold utterly, and put into a toy. Which she shall weare about her carelesly Some where or other. See the vertuous Queene. Enter Pan. Behold the humblest subject that you have Kneele here before you. Pan. Why kneele you To me that am your vassall? Arb. Grant me one request. Pan. Alas, what can I grant you? What I can I will. Arb. That you will please to marry me, If I can prove it lawfull. Pan. Is that all? More willingly, then I would draw this ayre. Arb. Ile kisse this hand in earnest. Mar. Sir, Tigranes is comming though he made it strange To see the Princesse any more. Arb. The Queene, Enter Tig. and Spa. Thou meanest: O my Tigranes pardon me, Tread on my necke I freely offer it, And if thou beest so given; take revenge, For I have injur'd thee. Tig. No, I forgive, And rejoice more that you have found repentance, Then I my libertie. Arb. Maist thou be happie In thy faire choice; for thou art temperate: You owe no ransome to the state, know that; I have a thousand joyes to tell you of, Which yet I dare not utter, till I pay My thankes to Heaven for um: will you goe With me, and helpe me; pray you doe. Tig. I will. Arb. Take then your faire one with you and your Queene Of goodnesse, and of us; O give me leave To take your arme in mine: Come every one That takes delight in goodnesse, helpe to sing Loude thankes for me, that I am prov'd no King. FINIS. Publication Date: August 10th 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-bx.beaumont

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-bullet789-romero-true/

Bullet789 Romero True True Love dfgjhtgrdvcgg Prologe   Well its about him it leads you up to when I fell in love with him. Past and present. If I still have feelings for him. And why or why not. It goose on and on from the being. When I I first fell in love. And when I needed love the most. But mostly when I fell in love with Travis.           “TRUE LOVE DOESN'T COME EASY YOU MUST PAY THE PRICE..................... EVEN IT MEANS GIVEING YOUR LIFE UP OR LOSING THE ONE YOU REALLY LOVE” BY:Clarissa Romero Content CHAPTER ONE- My Choice's CHAPTER TWO-  Not Easy Finding CHAPTER THREE-  Broke Up CHAPTER FOUR-  Sorry   CHAPTER FIVE-  Reget My Choice’s.......................   Well the price  had to pay was giving up the famly i had at school. The ones who love/care for the real me. Well I've always wanted true love. When I was lttle I thought my first boyfriend Gabriel was the “ONE”. But if he was the one do you think he would've cheated on me on Valentne's  Day? Ya I told hm that  might not be comng to school. But  did. So Monday morning  went into the caf like i always do....and there he was kissing another girl. When he notced me there he just looked down as f he hated himself so much.  I MEAN IT HURT ME REALLY BAD BUT I GOT FUCKEN OVER IT. THEN HE JUST STARTED DATING HER. TILL SHE FINALY MOVED. THEN HE WONTED TO GET BACK TOGETHER WITH ME. SO I SAID “YES”. BUT WHAT HE DIDN'T NOW WAS THAT I WAS DOING “HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 3 DAYS”. IT WORKED AND NOW HE DOESN'T DO SHIT LIKE THAT ANYMORE. I MEAN HE'S PRETTY CUTE STILL BUT I DID THE RIGHT THING. SO ALL IS FAR IN LOVE AND WAR. Not Easy Finding.......   YA TRUE LOVE IS REALLY HARD TO FIND. I THOUGHT I HAD TRUE LOVE THIS YEAR WITH THIS GUY NAMED TRAIVS. BUT MY FUCKEN SISTER MESSED IT UP. BY TELLING HIM I WAS CHEATING ON HIM. YA MY OWN FLESH AND BLOOD DID THAT TO ME. I WAS SO GONNA FUCKEN KILL HER WHEN HE TOLD ME THAT. YA SO I NEVER MOVED ON. BUT I HAVE A NEW BOYFRIEND. HIS NAME IS DANIEL ARMIJO. I LIKE HIM BUT I DONT LOVE HIM. I THINK IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SITE BECAUSE HE SAID THAT HE'S LOVED ME EVER SINCE HE FIRST SAW ME. I MEAN I LIKED HIM AT FIRST. BUT I COULDN'T SAY ANYTHING BECAUSE HE WAS DATING MY SISTER TWIN MARISSA. SO TWORDS THE MIDDLE OF THE YEAR HE BROKE UP WITH MY SISTER. AND ASKED ME OUT SO I SAID “YES” . Broke up   SO WE DATED THEN WE BROKE UP. THEN WE GOT BACK TOGETHER WHICH I LOVED. SO THEN WE STAYED TOGETHER. AND THEN MY SISTER STARTED TO GET PISSED ABOUT ME BEING WITH HIM. BUT NOBODY ELES DID. THEY WERE JUST HAPPY THAT I STOPPED CUTTING MYSELF,DRINKING,AND SMOKING. BUT YA THAT DIDNT LAST LONG. I WANT TO BE WITH HIM. SO TODAY AT SKOOL IN LAST HOUR I FREAKED OUT. AND STARTED KUTTING MY WRIST LIKE REALLY BAD. AND THEN AFTER SKOOL I CALLED TRAVIS AND TOLD HIM WHAT HAPPENED. AND LIKE RIGHT BEFORE HE HUNG UP I ASKED HIM “IF HE WAS MAD ABOUT MY ARM”. HE SAID “YES”. AND I KEPT TELLING HIM I WAS SORRY BUT HE KEPT TELLING ME “ U HAVE NO REASSON TO BE APOLOGIZING SO STOP” SO I DID. Sorry   YOUR SISTER SHOULD BE APOLOGIZING NOT U. U DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG.BUT THEN I JUST WENT ON AND ON SAYING THAT I WAS STUPID AND SHIT. SO THEN HE KEPT TELLING TO STOP SO I DID. THEN HE HAD TO GO SO WE SAID BYE AND HUNG UP. THEN I JUST SAT THERE TILL MY SIS CAME OUT AND SAID “HURRY UP SO WE CAN GO.” I MEAN WHEN WE WERE WALKING HOME I RELIZIED WHY TRAVIS WAS PISSED AT ME. HE HATES IT WHEN I SAY SHIT LIKE I'M STUPID AND OTHER THINGS. THEN WHEN WE GOT HOME I HATED MY SELF FOR SAYING SHIT LIKE THAT.AFTER HE TOLD ME NOT TO. WELL I'M NOT WITH DANIEL ARMIJO ANYMORE. HE DUMPED ME BECAUSE OF THIS BITCH JESSICA. AND TRAVIS IS WITH LEXI NOW. SO THERE WENT MY CHANCE OF EVER BEING WITH HIM AGAIN. BUT I'M SINGLE SO I DON'T THINK THERE GONNA LAST VERY LONG. BECUASE WHEN I'M SINGLE I MEAN EVERY TIME A GUY LEAVES ME. I MAKE THEM REGRET IT. THEY ALL SAY I DRESS LIKE A SLUT. BUT I DON'T THINK SO. I DRESS THE EXACT SAME WAY I ALWAYS DO. BUT I ALWAYS WARE REALLY LOW CUT SHIRTS. Regret   And they really regret leaving me after that. Because I also just keep waring heels, lipstick, earings, neckales, and bracelets. Well after Travis and Lexi broke up. I got back with him. Then we broke up and got back together. And now we're together again. But I don't think it's gonna last long. Because my sister is trying to mess it up. I mean she knows “ I love Travis more then anything”. But she don't care she wants him. And right now I really want to be with him. He makes me happy. I mean when I'm with him my heart stops. And I can't think straight when I'm with him. But I don't think he knows just how much he really means to me. I mean I'd kill for him. I'd do anything to make him happy. Even if it mean means losing him to someone forever. Well tomorrow I'm gonna find out if he wants me or someone else. It's gonna kill me but if he's not happy I have no choice. But to let the guy that means the world to me. And if your reading this Travis I hope your happy always. I love you. And when I first me him. Oh boy I melted. I was in heaven every time I hured his voice. I mean I acted like I didn't like him. But I was in love with him on the inside and now.......... I'm done hiding my feelings for him. I love hm more then anything. And I hope you now that Travis. And I hope your happy with any  choice’s you choose. Well hope you liked my book and yes I now it's short but. I hope you guys still liked it. Bye thanks for reading my book.           Up Date Chapeter  Well incase anyone wanted to know, as of today its been 1 year 3 months that me and Travis have been back together. We are having a little girl named Rockie Marie. We are getting married on March 15 2016. He met my fam. they love him to death lol :) Our plan is to stay together and raise Rockie as a family. His family is the best, i love to around them :) Even if his dad n bros pick on m all the time. His little sister can bug me at times but she's fun to be around. When we weren't talking......it was so hard for me not to talk to him. I was just scared for him to say soemthing else that would kill me. I was in a bad place at the time....it was our first softball game and i got the nearve to message him. And he messaged me back saying "hey." i was happy, we started talking all the time again, he was living in Wilcox with his real dad at the time. But one night we were talking and he had asked what i was doing so i told him i was going to the movies, n he asked in Morenci? And i said yes, suddenly he got off and stopped messaging me :( We went to see how much more time before the movie started we had like 10 mins. So we were walking back toword Bashas n i was looking down. Nicole scared me when she said "is that who i think it is?" i looked up n turned around and like ran the other way.....I stopped and i felt someones arms go around my waist, i turned around in seconds to throw my arms around Travis's neck to pull him into a tight hug. I had got my best friend back, n my night was so made :) we started dating that night, we talked everyday...until he asked my mom if he could date me. He told her about how we met n every....he told her our story. He cried the whole time he was telling her. I went n met his mom that day too.  New Chapter of my life! :) My Rockie Marie!!:) me and travis got married on March 19, 2016. He is the love of my life no one has any idea how much he means to me!! this month we will be together for 2 years, and 1 month.....married one month!! :)  Publication Date: May 25th 2017 https://www.bookrix.com/-bullet789

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-patrick-james-anderson-uncle-beano/

Patrick James Anderson Uncle Beano Title: Uncle Beano. “Hung over again?” Morgan had said resignedly as she lifted the drunken clown out of his bright rainbow colored van. His weight was heavy on her staggering her down. “Morgan what would I do with out you.” Uncle Beano said breathing hot stale whiskey down her neck, as he drooled all over her. “Come on. We have a party to do!” She said smacking his hands off her, as he blindly groped. She worked for him for two summers now. Morgan was used to his drunken antics, and brushed it off the way she handled the Frat boys from time to time at her college. Up righting himself he stumbled sideways to the door. “At least your standing.” She said sympathetically Uncle Beano was like an uncle to her. He wasn’t always the lecherous old drunk standing here now. Two years ago when he had attended her college fair. He had made such an impression, that she had run right up to him wanting to become a clown in training. Things were going great for awhile. They were making people laugh and smile. He had done charity work at the Hospital, which she took over for him now. Then his wife left him and took their three kids with her. The kids were his life, after that everything crumbled. He had just digressed worse and worse. She was the unfortunate witness to see him sink lower and lower in his depression. “Are you gonna be okay today? Do you want me to cancel?” Morgan offered. Uncle Beano looked her straight in the eye. Grabbing her and planted a long wet kiss right on her lips, he rang the doorbell as he did this. Morgan tried to catch her breath, and not lose her lunch. Stepped back as the door swung open, and the Lady of the house answered the door. Smiling she spoke through clenched teeth. “What are you doing? You are supposed to come through the back of the house!” The house full of kids looking up to see Uncle Beano all cheered. “Yeah!” “The Clowns here!” Uncle Beano stepped in placing a hand on the ladies forehead gently pushed her out of his way. The kids up roared with laughter and applause. The lady not amused stormed off into the kitchen. Morgan followed him in, and ran ahead of him she waved her arms in an introductory salute. “Boys and Girls!” she loudly announced. “Uncle Beano!” Morgan bowed towards him graciously as he stepped into the center of the room. The flashing lights of multiple cameras exploded all around him. The children smiled and laughed as he pretended to act like this was blinding him. Uncle Beano stumbled around until he bumped into one of the mothers and pantomimed like he was blind began feeling around with his hands. He messed up her hair, and knocked off her glasses. She was laughing along with the kids even though his hands were groping in some areas that she would not have thought appropriate. It was okay he was just clowning around. He wandered back to his center stage. She looked down and quickly clutched herself as she ran off towards the bathroom. The lady did not realize that he had unbuttoned half her shirt. Uncle Beano told jokes for the next half hour. Following this was his set of magic tricks. The doorbell rang disrupting the performance which to the kids delight Uncle Beano started stamping his feet, and shaking a fist towards the door. In it walked the most attractive blonde woman he had ever seen. He made goofy grin, and circled a heart with his hands. Running over to the door, he hip checked the man that was opening it, and sent him into the coat rack in the corner. Making a bow and a courtesy he offered his hand to the lady and escorted her in. “Uncle Beano at your service.” He gestured kissing her hand as she sat down on the couch. Going back to the center room Uncle Beano did a couple balloon tricks, and gave one heart shaped balloon to the blonde lady. He turned and nodded at Morgan. This was their queue for breaks, bathroom or otherwise. “Uncle Beano will now take a little break. He will be back in short while.” She announced as he made his way up the stairs. Morgan did her clown act for the kids. The man of the house interrupted her. “Where is he going?” He asked. “Bathroom.” Morgan replied. “He didn’t ask!” The man said and proceeded up the stairs. He waited outside the door listening to Uncle Beano relieve him self. The man soon became disgusted by the fowl odor that was seeping from under the doorway, and filling the hallway. He could hear the clown talking to himself in there. “That’s it!” the clown was saying “you’re out of the circus!” This was followed with a series of flushes. The man pounded on the door. To which Uncle Beano replied. “Go away. I am not giving autographs right now.” The man pounded louder. A concerned mom at the bottom of the stairs asked what’s wrong. ”Nothing.” he replied. “I just have to straighten out some clown.” He puffed up his chest as she walked back into the kitchen. Proceeding to knock even louder the door swung open and two large gloved hands grabbed him dragging him into the bathroom. “You gonna straighten me out?” Uncle beano asked cracking his knuckles. “Let me just say one thing first. I am a clown I make people laugh, the kids down there they love me. They wouldn’t want anything to happen to me. The second thing is I am a clown. You probably never heard of the Clownfia. We are a very tight knit group. Kind of like a family. When one of us has a problem the rest of the family has a problem. So I will give you two choices. Choice, A you go out that door and fly down the steps. Choice B you drink that toilet water while I watch. Then I will go downstairs and eat lunch. I will then perform the rest of my act. You never have to see me again, unless there’s another party. And you better not so much as look at me. Understand. Uncle Beano looked at him levelly. To this the man gulped he had not realized how his fake attempt at bravado was being called, and how big this clown looked close up.He knelt towards the toilet bowl, while Uncle Beano washed his hands and walked out. “Hey kids!” He shouted. “Who wants story time?” they all jumped and cheered as he forced himself on the couch sandwiching himself between the blonde lady, and another mother. “This one is called Uncle Beano’s circus adventure. “What is your name little girl.” He indicated towards the attractive blonde next to him. Courtney. She replied. “Well Courtney how would you like to be part of our story today?” Uncle Beano piped up slipping an arm comfortably around her shoulders. “Here goes. One day Uncle Beano was going to the circus. As he was getting ready to perform, Uncle Beano spotted a group of clowns…One of which was clown Courtney. The most beautiful clown Uncle Beano had ever seen before. The other clowns liked her too. They were a tough group of clowns. When Uncle Beano approached three of them blocked his way to the beautiful Courtney. Oh no how could he profess his admiration to her like this. Luckily Uncle Beano is trained in Clown Kwan do. Clown Fu, and a UFC fighter. That is Universal fighting Clowns. After he scared the other clowns away Uncle Beano approached her, and with a wave of his hand, produced a beautiful bouquet of flowers for the Lovely Clown Courtney.” As he told his story a paper Mache of flowers sprung from his sleeve, and he handed it to Courtney. She smiled, and blushed as he gave her a brief hug. “Let’s hear it for Mrs. Courtney.” The kids all applauded he started handing out signed autographs. He handed one to Courtney who corrected him. “It’s Ms. Courtney. That was a beautiful story by the way.” She looked at the autograph. “There is something missing.” She added. “What is something wrong?” Uncle Beano checked. “Your phone numbers not on here.” She whispered in his ear. Getting a goofy grin he added his number to the back... “Thank you.” She said “I will call you sometimes.” She promised walking out. He called Morgan over, and asked her to get the payment for the party, while he finished up. Uncle Beano went over to get some food. The Pizza was cold, but it was food and he was hungry. Uncle Beano started shoveling handfuls of pizza into his mouth and swallowing as fast as he could. A hand tapped him on the shoulder. One of the guests was standing there with a disapproving look on her face. “Excuse me! We don’t pay you to eat! We pay you to entertain the kids! Make jokes, Juggle, and do magic!” “Really?” Uncle Beano replied with mock shock on face. “Morgan are we cleared!” He shouted as she walked up to him. “Yes sir two hundred and fifty dollars cash.” She stuffed her half into her curvaceous cleavage. “Great!” he replied turning back to the lady. “You know it’s funny you say WE are paying you. But yet YOU are a guest, and I know that YOU aren’t the one paying me…So what is the issue. There is more than enough Pizza for everyone. You can still take some home.” He smiled a big toothy grin. “I am a friend of the family, and I chipped in for this Pizza. So that is my Pizza you are eating clown! Go do some tricks like you’re supposed to!” “You want to see a magic trick?” Uncle Beano asked as he took a pile of pizza slices. “I am going to make this pizza disappear and reappear.” He shoved all the slices he held into his mouth and chewed and swallowed. Opening his mouth he showed her that there was no Pizza left in his mouth. Turning his back to her in a fluid spin, he took his middle finger and shoved it deep down his throat. As he spun back towards her his gag reflexes kicked in spewing her with a shower of digested pizza. Wiping a napkin across his mouth he walked out brushing his hands. She stood there in shock and embarrassment. Driving home Morgan asked him what he was doing later. Uncle Beano thought of the lady he’d met today. “You know I think I will quit drinking.” “Any particular reason?” She prodded knowing the reason. “Is it because of a certain lady today?” she mused. “I seen the way you two were eyeing each other all afternoon.” Morgan teased. “Just remember.” She advised no binging no smoking and no clown porn!” Morgan walked in on him a few times, and lately the clown porn had become a regular occurrence. “I can give you two out of the three.” Uncle Beano responded. “But the clown porn, well baby you know what daddy like!” he joked. They both chuckled at this. As he dropped her off Morgan thought. He is going to be okay. Uncle Beano went home looked at his bottle of whiskey, right next to the picture of his ex wife. She had run off with a group of Midget Circus clowns. “I forgive you he.” Said as he took the picture and placed it in a box. The whiskey he poured down the drain. The Cigarettes uncle beano threw in the garbage. He felt something he hadn’t felt in a long time. He felt happy; it was an irony to him that what he did for others on the outside did not match him on the inside. Publication Date: April 12th 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-patrick87

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-skylar997-bloodwolf-2/

Skylar997 BloodWolf Terror at Sight pt.4 Nightmares I... love you." He leaned in closer but I pushed him away, something didn't feel right. I felt like someone was telling me,"no, don't do it, don't do it". He looked at me, and i ran away into my den. That night I had a dream, my mom was in it. My mom whispered,"There will be a war with the bloodwolf pack, you have more of your kind." I was in a shock and i replied,"there are more bloodwolves?" She replied quietly,"I have to go, but remember, never underestimate." I woke up after that and I noticed Duke was sleeping like 10 inches away from me, it was a scary sight. I don't allow people to sleep in my den... I forced my self to sleep having him breath down my neck. In the morning he comforted me with buckskin, and some baby elk meat. I noticed someone trying to come in my den when Duke came up to them. I could hear there whole conversation so i recognized the voice was from Sparky. Duke furiously said,"And where do you think your going?" She replied,"Nowhere." When Duke replied I noticed him clinching his paws. He tried to calm down and replied,"you don't belong here. you should be dead. I will kill you if you get in the way." I was in state of shock so I stopped starring. She was trying to act unnoticed so she replied while whispering,"I don't know what your talking about?" He growled back,"Sure you do!I better off kill you right now!" He pinned her but I thought enough was enough so I rudely barged in. I was kind of freaked out but i tried to say calm and said,"Hey Duke." He replied,"Oh hey.", then ran off. I could see he was insecure. I went hunting with Zi, and Sparky. It was nice, and I think Sparky got her sense of smell back, im proud of her. When I got back I noticed Zi and Sparky had my birth mark, WE MUST BE SISTERS! I was so exited I nearly broke my den. We started to talk about how we were looking for each other when a sudden voice appeared,"Well well well." I noticed Sparky knew the voice as she yelled,"GREENEYES!" He said that Duke was on his side, I was furious. I jumped at him when he finished but he ran off. I was so furious I ran back to the pack and I saw Duke searching through my stuff. I growled at him and picked him up by the collar. I threw him across the den. He squealed as he got back up and pounced at me. I raised my tail to show I am the boss around this territory when he raised his tail, challenging me. I bit hard into his stomach and chewed. He squealed as I slowly let go. He pushed me off and I charged at him. He moved out of the way expecting me to hit the wall when i did a flip backwards onto his shoulders. He fell to the ground as a tear dropped from my eye. I bit his neck again and this time I kind of turn vampire and drank his blood. He didn't turn to a vampire because i only took a little. He got back up when i ran vampire speed behind him and pushed him across the den. His tail dimmed down a little and I pinned him down. I screamed at him,"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? HOW DO YOU KNOW? AND WHY ARE YOU GOING THROUGH MY STUFF!" He smirked as I flipped him. He threw me onto the roof as he started to run. I ran faster then him so i caught up and he tripped on a rock onto a tree. His fur got stuck in the bark as i noticed someone came in my den. Greeneyes took my paw and flipped me then held me down. Duke bit into my stomach as I pawed Greeneyes and he blacked out. I looked at Duke and as i pushed him I said," THIS! is for ruining my life, THIS! IS FOR RUINING MY FUTURE! AND THIS IS FOR PRETENDING TO LIKE ME!" On the third push he was pushed into a tree. I growled as Sparky and Zi came behind me. I looked at them in silence. They looked at Greeneyes and Duke and they said,"NICE!!! JOB!!!" I smiled as we tailed each other (our bwf tail slap) PS bwf is best wolves forever. Right when we stopped the tail slap, I felt movement in the ground. Duke came at me and jabbed me in the back with his sharp claw. I soon fell as Sparky and Zi bravely attacked him. I heard the whole thing. Sparky pinned him down as he tried to get up, Zi bit into his stomach and chewed out part of his fur. Sparky nearly tore off his paw and man he squealed like crazy. Greeneyes was going to come at them when i got up, bit his neck and threw him onto the front of my den. Im glad my den is stone, because it would have broke if it was flower twigs. Soon they were passed out, but i knew if we stayed we would be in terrible danger. I ran off into the woods as i heard someone following us. I saw brownish fur and i thought, RODESSA. I said to Zi and Sparky as we ran,"Come on girls, VAMP SPEED." We were faster then a cheetah on an elk high. After an hour of running I saw nobody and Sparky,Zi and I were tired. We settled on hare for the night. After we ate the hare we found a nearby den site and camped out. We were so tired the minute we hit that buckskin, we were out. War In the morning we were safe and sound but I was the only one up. I noticed something was missing in the den, my pack journal! After that I noticed the word war, was written on the side of the den. I woke Sparky and Zi up as I noticed, they weren't them. Duke and Greeneyes were beside me. They threw me in a buckskin blanket along with Sparky and Zi. I noticed a plain, dirt area when they dropped us. I got out as i noticed we were in cages. I heard voices growling, it was an audience. I heard a voice saying,"LET THE WAR, BEGIN!" and we were let go. I saw Scarlet, Rodessa, Duke, and Greeneyes in front of us. We were outnumbered, but hey were bloodwolves they don't have anything on us. Sparky and Zi tackled Greeneyes and Rodessa. I looked at Duke and Scarlet. Scarlet came charging at me as I pounced on her. She squealed as a trader from my pack carried her to the healing bed. I Charged at Duke and flipped him. I bit into his stomach and tore into the place Zi tore out. He squealed like a baby and i then let go and bit into his neck, I drank at least 1 pint and let go. He didn't turn to a vampire, I was overjoyed. Rodessa was passed out as Duke came to comfort her. They.. then kissed. I was so angry when they stopped I charged at them flipping both of them onto the bricks. Rodessa charged as me as I flipped her and when she came up behind me I hoofed her in the stomach. Duke was furious so he ran into me but, i didn't fall. I watched as Greeneyes was taken to the healing bed. Rodessa was too. Sparky and Zi charged at Duke and in under 10 seconds, We had to be broken apart because he was going to die. When they were healed I noticed someone punched one of our flags down. I charged at them and they jumped into the war zone. Scarlet was eliminated, but she wasn't going down without a fight. She bit my neck hard, so I threw her off and pounced on her. She was taken to the healing bed, then to the watch room, so she could watch as her team failed. The war began to dial down as all of us got weak, I noticed there was some elk left in my buckskin basket. I didn't want to leave Sparky and Zi but I wanted them to be energized, I ran superspeed towards the elk and when I came back, Sparky was put in the healing bed. I gave her and Zi some elk as they ate the other team charged at me. I hoofed all of them and ate the tiny bite of elk that was left. I ran towards the other team as I noticed someone grabbed Zi, Sparky, and was coming towards me. Jealous He took us to the cages and gave us some elk. After we ate we heard cheering and ran back into the war zone. I thanked him as I ran. He was cute, but I noticed Duke was furious at him. The war had come to a pause as I came to meet the guy. Sparky and Zi seemed to like him. His name was Broady. I kind of liked him too, but what about when I trusted Duke, and then this. Wait I forgot, Sparky can now smell lies. I told Sparky to sniff him out and see if he was trustworthy or not. I noticed her sniffing a little.. too much. I looked at her and she whispered in my ear, yea he is. He seemed to have his eye on me, I noticed Sparky and Zi were jealous. Then he turned to Sparky and winked. I got so outraged. He then hugged Zi, which made Sparky and I furious. He then turned to sparky and hugged her. I was outraged. Yet, then he turned to me and hugged me. I noticed Sparky and Zi's furious look. The war was set to resume tomorrow. Broady kept us company. He is so nice. Yet, who does he like. It's almost like he likes... all of us. Publication Date: August 14th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-skylar997

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-rizza-nolazco-nolazco-discontinued-trust-never/

Rizza Nolazco Nolazco *Discontinued* Trust Never However... Chapter 1: Bad Enough Right? "Stop, STOP mom please!"I cried out loud. I wanted everything to end. All her mistreatment's, all her hate towards me, all this pain! It was just to much. "To much!" I screamed. "Shut up you stupid bitch! You're worthless!" my mother replied. "Mother please stop drinking , your fulling yourself with poison!" I trembled. "You don't tell me what to do! I'm your mother you fucking slut!" She slaps me as I fell to the ground and loss conscious. Next thing I know I'm in the ground 2 hours later after arguing with my mother. God I just wish my brother wouldn't have left. He was my only hope my only illusion of living, but now everything has shattered. He's gone far away, to Berklin University and he won't be coming home for a pretty long LONG time. Well, now I have to live alone without hope without anything... anything! I cried to the fact of facing the truth, I'm all alone no more brother to protect me. That night I fell asleep with tears flowing down my cheeks I didn't even change. I stayed with my black ripped skinny jeans, white Falling In Reverse tight T-shirt, studded belts, A Day To Remember black hoodie, and my black converse. I had over slept that night, I was too sore to get up. Every single fucking day of my life my only mother would hit me beat me up until she left me unconscious or until she was too tired to continue. I didn't felt like going to school, but even so my mother entered my room. "Get up you lazy ass" she growled "What? Why should I get up?!" I hesitated. She gave me a death stare, but I wasn't afraid I was used to it. "You have 2 hours to get ready for school!" she commanded "School?! Oh please!" I faked a laugh. After saying that my mother slapped me, unfortunately not to harsh to leave me unconscious. So I headed to the bathroom to take a warm bath. I washed my skin full of cutting scars some new, some old but there going to stay there for the rest of my life and faded bruises my mother left me. After showering, I got in my tight skinny gray jeans, a black shirt, a purple hoodie, black studded converse, and studded belts and bracelet's to cover my scars. The real scars in me are not from cutting myself nor from shedding blood but are from inside my heart. Then I dried my dark red hair, after that I covered my brand new bruises my mother had left me on my pale white face with make up. I swear one of these days she'll end up killing me or better yet, letting myself commit suicide without giving a single care about me, her own daughter, I think that's best isn't it? suiciding, dyeing, ceasing the pain inside me. Well, I have done that a couple of time, but sadly I always end up surviving, but I have had broken my left arm, right hand and had serious intoxication caused by the poison I drank, twice. I am just sick and tired of living in this filthy world filled with humans like my mother. Anyways as I went through my thoughts, I headed downstairs realizing that my mom had already left & got me a quick snack. Suddently then I heard loud banging's on the door  "jeez wait!..." I headed to the door, opened it, about to burst into shouts for all the banging, but instead I found myself in front of him, in front of... Chapter 2: Finally, He's home I fell to the floor to the thought that he's home, that he's here with me. Finally, he's home, back to me, to protect me, my dear Destery. "Destery" I whispered with tears as I felt my brother's arms take hold of me. "Yes, my sweet sister?" he smiled. It seems like ages since I had seen my dearly brothers warm smile. You can say that my brother is a gentleman, he treats every girl with respect and I am a proud sister, proud and happy to see my inspiration to live, here with me, protecting me. "Brother, I'm so happy to see you" I cried. "I'm happy to see you too, I'm glad your still with life" he smiled as I was about to ask him something but then he interrupted "Don't worry, trust in me okay? "I will always trust you brother" I replied. He started going up the stairs "she already left, she's probably at the bar or something" I murmured angrily. "Oh no, i'm not looking for mother" I headed up the stairs to see what he was doing or looking for. I realized he was packing all my stuff "Where are you taking my stuff?" I worriedly asked. He had a grin across his pale white face and his crystal emerald eyes where shining when I asked "I'm getting you out of this fucking hole!" I got excited to know about this, but "No this is not right, I can't leave mom alone!" I realized I had to stay here and try to support my mom, try to get her out of her addiction. "But??!!..." My brother exclaimed, but I explained "Brother I will try my best to help her, I love her even though she hates me, she gave birth to me and I know she once loved us, I am determined to break her malicious addiction" I promised while my brother shake his head. "Fine but I will come for you, right after this year like it or not!" my brother kissed me on my forehead. "I love you sister" he smiled worriedly "I love you too big brother" I kissed him on the cheek. "Well I have to go now" he started walking downstairs outside the house to his car. "I'll miss you" he turned around before he got in his car "I'll miss you too, take care of yourself, if anything happens to you.." "I know, I know, to call you" I giggled "I will come for you, remember, in 8 month" He gets to his car and starts to go down the road. I started to run after the car, chasing him "I will, I will remember!!" I screamed with all of me while tears started to flow down my face, leaving my eyes dried to realize I was late for school. "Shit!" I yelled while running as fast as I could to school. "Ahw, who cares, its just school anyways, nothing big or important" I started to catch my breath. It's good that I got an Ipod with me. That way I can listen to music that helps me survive this hell i'm going through. Finally I reached school which is very far from my house. After getting another late slip again and getting lame complains from the teacher again and AGAIN!!! being stared at by all the fucking students from the class, being the center of attention, ah I just hate it!, I get to my seat, the back seat all the way to the end. Finally after passing all that I realize there was a new student in class and because I got late I wasn't able to know his name but I wasn't interested in knowing. "Gina, this is Skylar, Skylar Knights, please treat him with respect" the teacher explained while Skylar stares at me with his hazel eyes. As we both look at each other I found myself in a awkward situation "Sky..." I whispered. Sky.... Chapter 3: Blue Sky Sky... like the blue sky with white clouds. After a long weird day I came home to find my mother across the floor. She'd been drinking till she fell asleep,  but what can I do? God, I need to find a way to get her out of this situation. I went to my room took of my cloth and put on a lazy shirt with a pair of sweat pants.  Text: This book was created by Clarissa N. (ronald.clarizza) and can not be credited by any other person without permission Images: Clarissa N. Editing: Clarissa N. Translation: Clarissa N. All rights reserved. Publication Date: October 18th 2016 https://www.bookrix.com/-ronald.clarizza

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-sj-some-good-girls/

SJ Some good Girls Good Girls Do Go Bad. New Beginning I jumped out of the car with extreme excitement; hauling my luggage out behind me. I stood there for a minute, taking in the warm, fresh, and Florida air. It had been a while since I'd been here and I couldn't believe I was finally back. The door to the car opened, and my mother got out and joined me at my side. She had that look on her face, that look that said, "Well, this is it. You're finally going." I could see it all over her. The whole ride here she was lecturing me about how to act and what to do. She was constantly telling me to "be careful" and "call mommy if you ever need anything." I knew she was just being a mother, but she was clearly over reacting a little. I was sure I was going to be fine. We walked towards the house. It was same as I remembered it, medium size and brick. That weird tree I hated so much was even sitting in front of it. It was if I hadn't been gone long at all. We reached the door and my mother rung the door bell that was built into the brick. We waited for not even five seconds, before the door swung open, revealing my dad's surprised face. He smiled. "Kate, you guys said you were coming tomorrow." he said. My mom shrugged. "Well, she insisted on surprising you." "Well I'm very much surprised." he laughed. "Come here, you." I sat down my luggage and jumped to hug him. I hadn't seen him in a year so it was nice to have that familiar feeling back again. His hugs were the same, warm and welcoming, and it was as if he hadn't seen me in a million years. He pulled back. "Why don't you come in?" He grabbed my luggage and headed inside the house. My mother and I followed closely behind. I was really surprised to see that everything was exactly the way it was when we left. It was like he hadn't moved or changed anything. All of our family pictures were still hung up on the wall, the ones when we went on road trips and vacations. Even the pictures of him and mom were still there. I could tell he hadn't moved on. I glanced at my mother who was staring at my dad. I could tell she had wanted to talk to him about something, she had been saying that all weekend. She sighed. "Matt, could I talk with you in private please?" He looked confused. "Uh, yes. Of course." I let out a breath. "I'll be in my room." I walked upstairs and headed into my room. It was exactly how I left it. My old teddy bears on my shelves, my light blue quilted sheets on my bed, all of my trophies from soccer games. Being in my room made me feel like I was taking my old life back and I loved that feeling. There was nothing I wanted more but for all of us to be a family again, but I knew that wasn’t going to happen. I sat my luggage on my bed and then walked out of my room. I walked to the stairs and quietly sat on the first step. I could hear my mom and dad talking from the living room and it clearly didn't sound like it was going that well. "I just want to make sure my daughter's going to be safe here." I heard my mother say. She seemed to be upset, but I didn't know why. "You don't think I could take care of my own daughter? I am perfectly capable of that." my dad told her. There was a brief silence before the conversation continued. My mom said, "She's a teenage girl, Matt. I don't think for one second you'll be able to handle that." He let out a breath. "She's a good kid, Kate. She's smart and kind, just like you. There's no way I won't be able to handle this." She sighed. "Fine then. But you will be calling me and asking me for help, I just know it." I stood up from the step and walked down the rest of the stairs. I headed into the living room where my mother and father were. I cleared my throat as they turned around. "Is everything okay?" She smiled. "Of course." She walked over to me and took me in her arms, hugging me so tight that I could hardly breathe. I was really going to miss her but I knew that it was a good thing that I was going to live with my dad now. We needed this time to reconnect and get to know each other better. "I love you okay? Don't forget to call me whenever you need anything." she reminded me. I nodded. "I love you too and okay." She gave me one last hug before making her way to the front door. I couldn't believe she was leaving, just like that. I didn't know when was the next time I was going to see her but I knew that I would miss her everyday. The door closed shut. I walked to the window and watched as she got into her car and drove off. I let out a breath. "You okay?" I heard my dad say. I nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine." New School, New Girl It was the smell of blueberries that woke me up from my deep sleep. I opened my eyes, taking in the sunlight that filled the room. It was Monday, the day that I'd be going to a whole new school. I hadn't thought much about it but now the nerves were beginning to arrive. I jumped up from my bed and made my way downstairs. I could hear voices coming from the kitchen, voices that didn't just belong to my father. I walked into the kitchen and paused, seeing someone sitting at the table. He looked to be in his late thirties and had dark brown hair that hung a little bit over his eyes. The first thing I noticed was his badge and sheriff clothes. My dad smiled. "Good morning." "Morning." I said. "You remember Brent, right?" I nodded. "Yes, Sheriff Brent, I remember." Sheriff Brent smiled. "Nice to see you again, Peyton." "Thanks and you as well." I could see there were blueberry muffins sitting in a small basket on the table. The warm and delicious smell filled the air. My dad pulled off his apron and hung it up on the rack. He glanced at me. "What?" "Since when do you bake?" I wondered. "I've taken a few baking classes." he admitted. I laughed. "Wow." Sheriff Brent stood up from the table, grabbing his cup of coffee as well. He sighed. "Well, I've got to go. I'll see you later, Matt." He smiled and waved at me before disappearing out of the door. Although he seemed familiar enough, I didn't exactly remember him. All I could remember was that he and my father had always been good friends, even before he was the sheriff. Apparently they went to school together, right along with my mother. I didn't really know him but he seemed nice enough though. I looked over at the time on the clock and noticed it was 6:30. I only had thirty minutes to get ready for school. I was looking forward to going and meeting new people but at the same time I was a little nervous. It wasn't often that I was the new kid and today that was exactly what I was going to be. My dad took me to the new school. It was really big, much bigger than my last one and there seemed to be a lot of kids. I didn't often get intimidated but I sure was now. Just watching all of the kids walking into the school building, made my stomach turn. A thousand questions began to float in my mind. Will they like me? Will anyone talk to me? It was like elementary all over again, except it was much easier back then. I was sure that everyone knew everyone here and I didn't know where I'd fit in. To them, I was just going to be the new kid. "Are you okay? You don't have to be nervous." My dad told me. I nodded. "I know but I can't help it." He laughed. "Trust me, you'll be fine. I know most of the kids that go to this school, they don't bite." I took a breath. I was hoping it wouldn't be that bad, that I'd make it through the day with no problem. I sighed and opened the door to the car. "I'll see you later." I said, giving my dad a hug. I jumped out of the car and headed into the school. It literally felt like a death walk with all of those eyes staring at me, and it didn't end there. I walked into the school and trailed down the hallway, looking for the principal's office. Everyone stared at me once they realized they didn't recognize me because I was new. I finally found the Principal's office and quickly ducked inside. A lady at the long, wooden desk, smiled as I walked up to her. She pulled out a small piece of paper from a vanilla colored folder and handed it to me. "Here's your class schedule dear and your locker number." she told me. I smiled. "Thank you." She nodded and carried on with what she was doing. I took a breath and exited out of the office. Everyone seemed to have forgotten about me or just wasn't really paying much attention, as I came out of the office. I walked down the hallway and stopped once I found my locker number. I pulled off my jacket and carefully placed it in my locker. I quickly closed it shut and preceded to my first class. The first bell rung and everyone began to quickly rush to their classes. I looked at my schedule to read my first class and found it quickly. It was English, a class I was really good at. I opened the door to the classroom and made my way to the back of the room. I took a seat at a small desk next to a girl with crooked glasses and brown hair. She smiled at me. "You're new, right?" I nodded. "Yep. I'm Peyton." She stuck her hand out and I quickly shook it. "Mel." She said. I smiled and turned my attention to the front of the class. The teacher, Mr. Aarons, was writing something on the board. He wrote: Read pages 119-121 in your English book. After he was finished, he turned around to face the rest of the class and smiled when he saw me. "You're the new girl." he said. I shyly smiled as everyone focused their attention on me. Mr. Aarons grabbed a book from off of his desk and headed over to me. He sat the book on my desk. "You can have this one since you don't already have one." he told me. I nodded. "Thank you." He let out a smile and then walked back to the front of the room. "Okay everyone, get to work." I opened my English book to page 119 and began to read. It was everything I had read before at my old school but I didn't mind reading it again. English and every other school subject were pretty easy and interesting to me. Some teenagers wouldn't really care about doing work and reading about history but I actually really enjoyed it. There was just so much we didn't know about and a lot we had to learn. The door of the class room opened and in walked three girls laughing hysterically and very loudly. They took their seats, next to each other, in the front of the room. "Girls, you're late again. The next time it's going to be detention." Mr. Aarons warned. One of the girls laughed. "Whatever." she said. She had curly, golden locks that hung a little above her waist. She propped her legs up on her desk and sighed. The other two girls laughed. Mr. Aarons walked over and stood at the edge of her desk. "Lexi, remove your feet or I will remove them for you." Lexi laughed again and then sat up in her chair. "Is that a threat? Are you threatening me Mr. Aarons?" Muffled laughter came from the entire classroom as everyone stared at Lexi. One of the other girls, the one with short black hair, stood up from her chair and sat criss crossed on top of her desk. She smiled. "No way is he threatening you Lex, he wouldn't do that. Isn't that right Mr. A?" Mr. Aarons shot a scowl over to the girl and then focused his attention back at Lexi. Lexi sighed and then removed her feet. "Happy?" She sarcastedly said. "Detention this time, for the both of you." He glanced at the other girl as well and then made his way back in front of the classroom. "Finish your work." he said. The other girl jumped down from off of her desk and sat back down in her seat. She glanced at Lexi and laughed and then began to do her work. These girls were obviously a hand full and it seemed as if this was the way they always were. It was like everyone knew exactly what to expect from them. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, coming to this school. I shifted my attention back to my English book and finished reading. The bell rung and everyone quickly left out of the classroom. The three girls, sitting in the front of the classroom, definitely didn't hesitate leaving. It seemed as if school was the last place they wanted to be. "Them" I grabbed my lunch tray and looked around for a table I could sit at. I found and empty one in the corner, by the window, and quickly took a seat. The cafeteria was really crowded. Kids were shouting, laughing, and even running around like crazy people. It was your typical high school. I picked up my burger and took a small bite out of it. I wasn't really hungry but I knew I should at least eat something. I noticed the same three girls from homeroom coming over to where I was sitting. Lexi was in the middle, with the other two at her side. I could tell she was their little ring leader. I sat up straight in my chair as they sat their trays down on the table and took their seats. Lexi smiled. "You're that new girl, Peyton Lewis." I let out a smile. "Yep, that's me." She exchanged looks with the two other girls and then focused her attention back on me. She leaned in closer. "So, where are you from?" she wondered. I sighed. "Here. I just moved back to stay with my dad." I told her. She nodded. "Interesting. This is Hailey." She said pointing to the girl with the short back hair. "And this is Maria." she pointed to the other girl, one with light brown hair. "Hey." I said. I smiled and then took another bite out of my burger. She cringed. "Do you know how many carbs is in that thing?" I was confused. "What?" She shook her head. "Never mind." Two guys with a tray full of food came over to the table and sat down. They seemed to know the girls well enough because one of them leaned over and gave Lexi a kiss. Lexi grinned. "You didn't call me back last night." The guy shrugged. "I was busy." "Busy doing what?" Lexi wondered. He shrugged again. "Doesn't matter." Lexi seemed annoyed. I just stared at all of them, not knowing what to say. It was weird really, listening to all of their drama. I didn't know whether I should stay or move to another table. This wasn't really my normal "scene." Hailey pulled out a piece of paper and sat it on the table. She grinned at everyone. "College party tonight! You guys wanna crash?" "Can't, I have choir rehearsal tonight." Maria said. Hailey glanced at Lexi. "What about you? Come on, don't leave me hanging here." She rolled her eyes. "Fine, but only if Lewis comes." Everyone turned to look at me. I was a little caught off guard but realized she was talking about me. I didn't really know what to say because I was never really invited to a party before. I sighed. "I don't know." "Oh come on, it's going to be really fun." Hailey said. I shrugged. "Okay, fine I'll go." "Yay." she jumped up and down, clapping her hands together. "You're going to right, Owen?" Lexi asked. Owen shook his head. "Sorry, me and Cam are going to the game." he said patting Cam's shoulder. Lexi rolled her eyes. "Whatever." The bell rung and every body began to clear out of the cafeteria. I stood up from my seat and every body at the table did the same. I walked to the trash and dumped my tray and then headed out of the lunch room. I was a little surprised to see Lexi, Hailey and Maria following closely behind me. It was weird, really. It was like they were actually really interested in being friends with me. They were all clearly popular and popular wasn't really my thing. So why would they want to be friends with somebody like me? I decided not to really care what the reason was. As long as I was making friends, that's all that mattered. "Ride with us after school? " Lexi said. I nodded. "Okay." Glamorous School was finally over and I was thankful that I made it through my first day with no problem. It wasn't so bad, in fact it was better than I thought it would be. I headed outside into the school parking lot and waited for Lexi And Hailey. While I waited, I pulled out my cell and called my dad. "Hey." he answered. "Hey, dad. I just wanted to let you know that you don't need to pick me up, I have a ride." I told him. "Okay, well I'll see you at home then." I hung up just as I saw Lexi and Hailey walking out of the school. They walked to what seemed to be Lexi's car, and I followed. Hailey jumped in the front next to Lexi and I got into the back. "Where are we going?" I wondered. "Shopping." Hailey said. "We have to find hot new clothes for the party tonight." We went shopping at a small mall store called Glamorous, apparently it was where Lexi and Hailey got all of their clothes. I didn't have any money but Lexi was nice enough to cover me. The clothes we got wasn't really my style but according to Lexi, if we wanted to fit in with college kids we had to look hot. After we went shopping, we stopped at my house, and Lexi and Hailey came in with me. My dad was sitting in the living room reading the sports section of a newspaper. "Hey dad." I said, walking into the living room. "Hey, pal. Who are these lovely people?" Lexi bounced over to him, flipping her hair behind her. "I'm Alexis." she grinned, holding out her hand. I couldn't believe she was actually trying to flirt with my dad. He shook her hand and she giggled. "Hey Mr. Lewis. I'm Hailey." Hailey introduced. I rolled my eyes at Lexi, who was still grinning at my father like a crazy person. I grabbed her hand and pulled her upstairs, before she made a bigger fool of herself. We sat the bags on my bed, once we were in my room. I pulled out the outfit that I was supposed to wear and held it up to me. "That's going to look so hot on you." Lexi told me. I let out breath. "You think so?" "Absolutely. You should try it on." she said. I pulled off my clothes and pulled on the pink mini skirt and the lacey white top. I walked over to the mirror and stared at myself. I looked different, but different in a good way. I wasn't used to showing much skin but I liked it. "You look hot." Hailey complimented. "Thanks." I smiled to myself. No one ever really complimented me on my looks before, except mom and dad, but that doesn't necessarily count. It was nice to look like I was actually in highschool for once and not like a twelve year old. "Okay, now we definetely need to fix her hair and makeup." Lexi said to Hailey. I glanced at my hair, then frowned. "What's wrong with my hair?" Lexi shrugged. "Nothing bad, it's just that you don't really notice it in that messy bun. You should let it down." She walked over and pulled out the scrunchy from my hair, causing my hair to fall. She grabbed a brush that was on my dresser and brushed my hair until it was untangled. Hailey pulled out what looked to be a makeup kit from her bag and walked over to me. "I'm going to be a makeup artist someday." she said, opening the kit. "Trust me, I know what I'm doing." She turned me away from the mirror and begin piling a bunch of powder on my face. Next to her, Lexi was preparing her own hair, even though it already looked great to me. She then, pulled out her outfit and changed into it. She was wearing skinny white pants and a cute pink halter top that showed off her arms and her belly ring. I envied how pretty she was. Sure, I was pretty but not like Lexi and Hailey. We quickly finished getting ready, fixing our makeup, hair and clothes, before we could go to the party. Once we were finished, we all stood in front of the mirror, making sure we looked completely perfect. "We look so hot." Hailey declared. I sighed. "You sure we don't look like sluts?" "Relax, Lewis. This isn't looking like sluts, this is just looking mature." Lexi said, grinning at her appearance. We grabbed our bags and headed back down stairs, where my dad was still sitting in the living room. Lexi pushed past us and rushed right over to him. "Hey, Mr. Lewis?" She called. "How do we look?" He glanced at us, and I immediantly saw the disapprovement on his face. "Where are you guys going looking like that?" Lexi smiled. "Oh, we're going to a col.." "Lexi's house." I interrupted. "She's having a small get together." There was no way I was telling him we we're going to a college party. That would have been a suicide mission. "A party?" he repeated. I nodded. "Can I talk to you in the kitchen, Peyton?" I walked passed Lexi and followed my dad into the kitchen. "What's going on?" he wondered. "We're just going to a party." I told him. He nodded. "Okay, but you know how I feel about parties. And what about your mom, if she saw the way you are dressed, she'd kill me." "Relax dad, it's just a small party. Mom let me go to them all the time." He didn't seem too convinced and I didn't blame him. Mom was always telling him how he was never really good at the 'laying down the law' part, and she was right. It was a good thing I was actually a good, respectful kid. "Don't you trust me, dad? I won't do anything bad." I stated. He let out a breath. "Okay, you can go, but you need to be home by ten." "Thanks dad." I jumped to give him a hug and then skipped back into the living room, where Lexi and Hailey were waiting. Wild and Wilder We arrived at the party and it was crazier than I thought it would be. I was starting to have second thoughts about the whole thing. Clearly Lexi and Hailey were used to because they walked up to a group of guys and started flirting. I hung back, trying not to look too uncomfortable. The last thing I wanted was to look as if I didn't fit in. I walked over to the punch table and poured some punch in a cup. I noticed a guy with dark brown hair and gorgeous eyes staring at me. I was about to turn away and pretend not to notice but it was too late. He was walking right towards me. I folded my arms and stared into the crowd. "Hey, I've never seen you at any of the parties." He said. "This is my first one." I told him. He smiled. "What's your name?" "Peyton." Publication Date: February 21st 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-jacelyn

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-kylie-kay-golden-i-love-you/

Kylie (Kay) Golden I Love You Goodbye "Sam!" Eric greeted his girlfriend with the familiar. A smile crossed her face, but it was a sad one. "Baby, what's wrong?" his voice was concerned as they set down on the bench in the park where they had decided to meet. Sam starts crying, thinking of her secret. "Baby what's wrong?" he asked looking at her face. "Doesn't matter" she said in a small voice. "Yes it does now i want to know why my baby is crying" she sniffed. "Do you love me?" "Of course i do!" "Would you do anything for me?" "Yes,now why are you crying?" "Would you die for me?" Sam was sobbing now. "yes! I love you so much sweetie, tell me what's wrong" he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. Sam continues crying and that's the only sound heard as Eric gently rubbed her back. She gently pulled away from him and talked in a soft voice. "I think we need to break up" she started crying again. "Baby please don't do this I love you! I don't want out relationship to die" he tried to pull her close again but she shook him off. "Neither do it but..." "but what babe? what have i done wrong?!" SShe sniffs. "It's not you, it's me." She gets up and starts to walk away. "Baby please! Sam I love you!" she turns back for a moment and says, "I love you too but this is for the best. I love you. don't forget it." before walking away, crying. Next day: Eric gets to school and waits for Sam, but she doesnt show up. he turns to his friend Mark and says, "hey bro do you know where my girl is?" Mark shakes his head so Eric turns to Sam's friend, CiCi, and asked her, "What about you?wheres Sam?" Cici looked uneasy and responds, "At the doctor" before walking away, leaving Eric alone to wonder what was wrong with sam. For the next week, Sam doesn't show up for school. Eric called her aqnd calledc her but she never picked up. Finally, one day, her mom picks up. "hello?" "hey Ms.River where is Sam?!" "Oh Eric..I thought you knew. go here and at the front desk they will tell you what room she is in." she said sadly and have him the adress of the local hospital. he jumped in his car and drove up to the hospital. he went to the front desk, and the women told him what room she was in, room 2b. He hurried to the room, and found her laying in bed, sickly pale."Sam!" he yelled.she looked up at him one more time then looked at the table where a note lay. she took one shuddering last breath, and was gone. Eric picked up the note, and read it. Dear Eric, If your reading this note, the chemo didn't work, and I have died. I had Lukemia. I wanted to tell you so many times, but couldn't find the words. I am so sorry that i broke up with you, but i wanted to give you time to get over me. Live your life, and be happy. the reason i asked you all those questions the nigjht we broke up, is because i wanted to hear you say you love me one more time. I LOVE YOU ERIC! goodbye, with love, Samantha- your sam Eric went home, and hr cried all night. the next morning, he got a bottle of pills, and sat on hs bed and wrote a note. he then swallowed all the pills and slowly died."I love you Sam" was his last notes. His family came home, but it was too late, all they had was the note: I said i would die for her, and i did. I will never leave Sam.I love her. I'm sorry guys, i love you. Eric THE END Publication Date: January 28th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-kbggirl

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-emily-dong-my-story/

Emily Dong My Story Directioners give me thumbs up!1I updated again even put lots of pics in!! This is for one direction and manly for Louis and Eleanor, i hope your love life goes well and er good luck with the engagement.I will update soon!! Love at first sight! "Leanor hurry up,the mall is gonna close in a zillon years"Joked my best friend Jade.The truth was that the mall is open day and night."kay kay almost done"I called to Jade."AAccccggghhhh"Jade grouned you take forever.When i was finally ready i was wearing a aquasih purplish v neck short sleaved top and blue shorts with tan high heels andd a big tan bag with all my walet iphone and hugmous box of makeup which is actuallty pretty light.I have long light brown hair and when it gets down to the bottom it is carmal colour. my hair was down to my butt, I have a little tan skin.I had some makeup on and jewlary. I have brown eyes with very long lashes so i normally only wear a tiny bit of masare,and when i do they make my eyes look like the size of Aficia!! Then i pulled out my Mp3 and listened to music. Jade has Dark brown hair hair up to her back but my hair is way longer than Jades.She has grey eyes and normal eyelashes.She was wearing asinglet same as mine but hers was redish and pinkish with dark blue shorts while mine were faded. jade had on black  high heels and she had a dark brown bag. Jade a bit of jewlary on too. Once we got to the mall we had looked in some shops and bought a thing or two when louis Thomsonline from one direction and started talking to me! I was just standing there like a fool because i was a fan!! i was awoken by my daydream when Jade had elbowed me. ''Pardon"was all i magned to say."Well I asked if you lovley ladies would join One direction and i for luch"?asked Louis gorgosly agin.I don't know if Jade Know it but my heart was melting inside me because he was so cute and hawt."Sure"Jade blutered before I could even answer. When he had brundg me to the lunch table with all the other boys i was really nervous because i didn't want to embrass myself infront of louis."Hey stop staring at louis"Jade whipered very queity in my ear,"You'll start drooling anytime now"joked Jade. Quickly i blushed and looked down. While the others chatted about other things and then the concert tonight came up."So do you guys have tics to the concert tonight"?asked Zayn. "Umm no they were all sold out even through jade and i slept outside the store and i mean it we just sat on the benches"I exclaimed,"and when we woke up at dawn we even waited for 15 minutes for the lady to open the shop!,but when i asked when there was anymore tickets to see you guys she said they were all sold out even throught i could see about 10 on the desk"I gushed.The boys were suprised to hear me talking because i had been so quiet."chill"answered Louis kindly handing Jade and i tickets and special backstage passes."Ttthanks"I stutter. Then i reached inside my bag, took out my wallet and handed louis $20. He tired to give it back but i had insisted. "Thanks"he says after that. When they had payed for luch Jade and i said pur goodbyes because we had to go shopping for tonight's concert."They were so nice and I think Louis likes you because he gave you tickets and he didn't even want the money"Said Jade as soon as we were out of earshot. "I don't think so"I repeild shlyly."kk"Jade answered but i knew she  had douted my answer but i didnn't even know myself so..... jade had got her dress it was a pale blue colour with brown belt and a rose under the belt.it didn't have any strapes it had a little v in the middle it stops in mid thigh, i got the same but my colour was aqua. We both got brown high heeled shoes and a nude colour little purse. I had bought a 5 carat diamong necklace real sliver,it was aqua too to match my dress. Jade got a 5 carat diamond necklace too but light blue just a little darker than mine. Arfter that we went to get smoothies and we ran into the boys.I got mango and lychee while Jade got mago and peach.The boys got smoothies too.then Louis asked if could see my dress."It's a surprise"Replied jade quickly. "I knew you would saw that because it's a formal thing ehh"grinned louis.That just mad e my face heat up.Then we said our goodbyes and said that we would meet them tonight at the concert.   The formal evening*__*/concert Arfter i had my dress and shoes on i put my makeup on and got my new purse and stuffed my stage pass and tickets in with my phone blacberry for texting, and my purple and blue wallet.Then i put my neckace on.When i was done i waited for about 3 minutes while Jad was getting her hair striaghtend mine was curled. When i pulle dinto the parking lot i found my place and stepped into the ticket booth surronded by body guards.Arfter they cheaked the tickets an dpasses they had let us through at the V.I.P section beacause louis had given me special passes. Then i saw Louis with another girl,then i reconsed her it was that girl louis was dating but didn't they break up a month ago? But i guess they're just friends now."Wow you look stunning Louis comlimented me i while the other boys were catching up.Then i saw that little miss perfect glaring at me like i was i slug rather than a person."Who's he louis"She almost purred."Ohh sorry forget to introduces you guys this is my ex holly and this is my new  friends Jade and Eleanor.I noticed when he had said my name thier was a smile in his voice i think  Holly  heard it too that's why she gave me another death glare but louis saw that one. "hey holls I thought you were over me"he asked her."Well i diddn't expect you to start dating so soon!'exclaimed Holly."Well lets think about this Holls it's been a month and she is jsut a friend"explained Louis. "Ahhh sure Louis"sneered Holly,last time you said that it was with me. While the fight was going on Jade and i just stood there like we were total starngers. "Umm Holly"?I aske shyly,"I umm only see louis as a friend so you guys can get back togrther you know"I explained kindoff awardly.Ohh noo before i even knew what i was saying i just blutered it out and yes i did a fellings for louos strong ones!! When i said that i think i saw Louis's face show sadness and rejection. "Well umm see you round'' Louis called then he was gone. ***Louis *** I can't beleive she just said that i thought that she at least would like me a little.Then i forced my face into a grin said something to her and then i walked off.i mean why would she do that to me?Wait lou you have just met this girl this avo and why do i evn care about her?Yeah i thought to myslef  why do i like her?Ohh I don't know remarked my brain,her charm,her smile,her knidness and her prettyness?Oky i admit i kndof  like her. But...wait what did i say to her before i walked off?Ohhhh no i hope i diddn't make a fool outof myself. ***Eleanor*** Before Jade or i knew what we were even doing the whole party were sitting on chairs in a circle playing truth or dare.Suddnely the bottle had landed on me."Oky Eleanor your dare is to kiss louis"answered harry cheekly.i saw Louis perk up at the thought of me kissing him.I had turned tamarto red on my face."Ahhhhh, does somebady has a crush on louis"asked Nail playfully.That made me blush even harder.Louis looked kinda... smuge about the fact of kissing me."Fine one little pecck and that's it right"I asked nervously at harry."Yup and you have tosit in his lap for the rest of the game." WHAT "I almost shouted."You heard me Eleanor"mocked Harry playfully.Slowly i got up from my seat and pecked Louis on the lips.God his lips were so soft and juciy.Suddenly i pulled away."Harry said only a peck"I replied smugly,smirking."hey haz do me a favoutr next time it lands on Eleanor make her makeout with me"Joked Louis."Heyy shut  up "I called playfully over.Then when i was walking back to me seat harry cougged so i grabbed my bag and sat on Louis's Lap.Holly didn't take that very well,she was about to hit me when two pretty girls came to my resue.one was a bruttnete laim's girlfirend Dannelle and zayn's girlfriend Perrie the blonde. They pushed Holly out of the way before she slapped me and introuced themsevles."Hey"I repield back to both of them.I knew Iwas going to get on well with them.Then when i sprang the bottle i landed on Perrie,i did Zayn and Perrie a favour."Hey pez i'm gonna do ya a favour go with zayn in the cupboard not 7 minutes in heaven but 70 minutes in heaven.I saw that perrie gave me a thanks wink back and gave me 1000 bucks.since perrie wasn't here i got another go and grinned cheekly and it landed on Louis."truth or dare"I asked him,"Dare"."Oky then","then i dare you to go sit in my chair" i squeked out because i was laughing to hard from the look of pure anger and hatred on his face about moving.Finally Louis did move.The game continued on and i got a text from louis and got all 1ds text names and phone numbers.Then they did they're singing.Arfter that louis asked jade and i to stay with them on the tour!1     The 1d tour^__* I have packed everything and we're now sitting in the 1d bus with Jade today i am wearing this:   With these heels: The red doted ones. Jade was wearing this: While sitting in the bus the boys were all in there own conversations so Jade and i whipped out our phones and started texting like mad,but after a few minutes Perrie and Danni came and started chatting to us."Well i met Zayn when we were in the MTV awards",explained Perrie"And when we had won they had came to congratulate us and then we were introuced together.Then it was Dann's turn."I had met Laim when he was on the Xfactor,Simon had asked for backround dancing and I was picked"gushed Danni."After rehurals he just asked me out then and there."explained Danni.''Anyways enough about us,do you gurls like anybody from 1d?asked Danni."Well curlyhead is taken"blurted out Jade then she blushed like mad.Then Perrie had caught me staring at perfect louis again. "Well well well"tsked Perrie playfully," I think somebody has a crush on Lou"teased Perrie. Gosh i wish i could just strangle her then and there, because Louis had heard.So then he gave me a playful/flirty smirk. I just blushed then and there. When we had arrived i was getting out of the bus and landed in Louis's arms,he had lent in to ask me if i was oky when snap a photograph was shot of us by a phtographer.Great now people are going to think that luis and i were a couple.which we are not but i would  love it if we were.I quickly got up and walked to jade muttering a thank you to louis."Omg look no don't look, you know that louis totally lokes you right Leaner''squeled Jade.""J he does not like me he has Holly".I rooled my eyes at Jade playfully."But he brokeup with that douche a month or two ago"jade remined me.Ture it wouldn't hurt."Whateves"I called over as i rejoined the group.When we had caught on Perrie told me that they were going on stage and we should just take a vip pass and a ticket.So we did.But us four girls didn't wanna watch the concert so we were in the make up room doing make overs.Perrie had put blackesishsliver eyesadow on me with Mascaure and lipgloss.While Danni was puttig the samething on jade except blackish blusih eyesadow.Then we swapped so Jade and i did they're makeups,and i do admit we are really good cause i normally will put a little makeup on.Arfter the concert we had driven to the hotel.At the hotel we had unpacked a little bit and put on pjs decieding to watch some movies. this red on is mine and the black one is Jades:I know totally cute right? The Hotel The pjs we had worn were totally cute with my dark pink thongs and Jade Dark blue thongs on our feet it looked great. Louis was staring at my chest the whole time.I know it was only  a little low cut i mean come on.Jade and i are both C cups big right?Then i sat down on Louis's lap cuz jade just sat on the last bit of room.She had mothed me a ur welcomed look.I just scowled at her.Louis however was staring at my chest.Finally i deside to pkay a game with him."Who wants to play truth or dare"?i ask.So everyone played."Oky i dare you to take your top off"Louis said with the biggest smirk i have ver seen."You are such a perve"I shoute d at him.But i still take y shirt off revealing my light pink lacey bra only coveru half of my chest."Stp staring Lou your gonna drool.Jade resuced me by spinning the bottle on my on purpose and daring me to put my shirt back on."Hey you rewined my view"Pouted Louis.I gave him a death glare.Then Naill dared Perrie to strip right in front of all of them.And she just said i'll strip for zayn in his room and they were off again.Then it got boring so we played spin the bottle.Louis spinned it and it landed on me.I just blushed like mad since i liked Louis and kissed him.When my lips were on top of his our lips just moved together until somebody cleared their throt loudly.We still didn't stop until harry and Naill pulled us apart.When i was pulled off by Harry I was just blushing so much.Then the bottle landed between harry and danni.Harry gave danni a cheeky wink, then laim pulled Danni onto his lap and said"sorry she's taken"then stared making out with her and i mean it!They're just sitting there until it was just me and Louis."So would you go out with me?"asked louis sweetly.I jumped on his lap and kissed him the answer."I'll take that as a yes then"smiled Louis The Hate mail and fans When word got out that we were togther everywhere i went with Louis had screaming fans and some wasn't very nice."Louis you derserve better than that ugly girl"scremed a red haired fan.Then there was a chant." KILL ELEANOR,KILL ELEANOR" screamed the fans,some tryed to stop irt but failed.I just took my bag and ran back to the hotle.I ran into Jade and my room and started crying.(by the way iw aas wearing this today jade was wearing this)red is jade blue is mine.Ps i have a big brown bag Jade a a big bright orangidh yellowish bag. "What's wrong"Jade asks concerned. Louis comes in."Eleanor i'm sorry for what happened with the fans they are always like this it happened with Perrie and Danni to"smoothed louis.Then Louis started rocking me in his lap."You promise it will stop soon"?iask Louis quietly. Text: Me Images: Google Editing: Nobody!!! Translation: no one All rights reserved. Publication Date: December 5th 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-ta71b1b4e85f725

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-millimay-skys-always-and-forever-about-that-life/

Millimay skys Always and Forever About That Life One-picture-Marissa I woke sweaty and breathing fast.I looked to my right only to see myself laying motionlessly.It seemed I was uncontouis.I looked around the room.My best friend Sams was asleep holding my hand.I was hooked up to this machine and all these tubes.Did I die?Was I on life support?I was scared and felt alone.I called Sams name but he didn't budge.I sat on his lap and slapped him.I screamed out his name but he couldn't hear me.It was like I was invisible.I stood and tried to calm down.Everything seemed so loud around me but no one was talking.I sat on the ground and started crying.The door opened and a nurse walked in.She woke Sams.I wiped my face and listened to what they were saying. "Between you and me her parents said just pull the plug.Her mother can't stand to see her like this and her father said she won't come back.Shes been like this for a week."She said. Shes gunna pull it?I'm gunna die? "Don't let them do it Sams."I said aloud. "Well I still have faith in her.Just give it 3 more days."He said staring at my body in the bed. I hugged him tight from behind but he didn't notice.The nurse nodded and left the room.I decided to roam the hospital.I needed to find me file and see what happened.I saw a man put some papers into a drawer.I opened it and in fact it was all the files.I looked for mine.A couple nurses were on their break. "That poor kid.He hasn't left her side sence she came in."One nurse said. "No that poor girl...Her parents want me to pull the plug on her."The nurse that was just in my room said. "Well poor both of them."Another said. They talked about grabbing a bite to eat and then left.Yeah....Poor girl...If they really knew how my parents really are.They hate me so of course they would want my to die.I found my file which said Marissa Monroe.I sat back in the rolly chair and opened it.It read Marissa Monroe was pronounced dead on the scene.My cause of death was drug over doise.I od?I tried to remember where I was.I was shocked back to life but was in acoma.Later in the hospital I was having trouble breathing so they put me on life support.I looked at the date.I've been here for a week and a half?I read on and put the peices together.My parents want me to die so the court will drop the charges.Oh my god...I slipped the file back into the drawer.I went back to my room.Sams was still holding my hand.He was talking to me. "Marissa if you come out of this...What am I talking about of course you'll come back.You've always been strong."He said. "Sams I would if I knew how.Help me..."I cried holding him. I cried even more knowing he didn't see me or hear me.I had 3 days to figure out how to come back. "I don't wanna die Sams."I cried. "I miss you...I miss your voice.I miss taking care of you.I feel like somehow I'm failing right now.I've always been there to save you but now I can't..."He said. He bowed his head and cried.The first time I ever saw him cry.Sams was strong and he never cried.He hurt but he didn't show it.I held him while he cried. "I miss you too.I'm so scared."I cried. He wipped his face and patted my hand.He stood and my hands went right through him.I looked at them and they flickered.I was fading fast.He walked over to the window and opened it.He pulled a fat blunt out of his pocket.He light it and looked back. "This is for you Marissa."He said and took a big rip. He let it out slowly.I stood beside him.I thought out of all the people who could have come,I only see Sams.Did my parents even come?Did My boyfriend Josh come? "Yeah I'm sorry bought your boyfriend."He said. I looked at him confused. "He's probably gunna get word that you wake up and tell you a whole bunch of lies.And you'll probably believe him...After all we are in a fight."He said. "I'm in a fight with Sams?"I asked. "I should've grabbed you and held you hostage.I keep thinking if I held you back from that party you would still be here.Mad at me or not...I would still have you."He said taking another hit. I ran a hand through my black hair.So I'm laying there lifeless because I over dosed and my best friend thinks its his fault.My boy friend didn't even bother to come see me and my parents want me dead.I'm not even sure if I want to come back.Tears ran down my face.I wanted to make things right with Sams.I couldn't just die without saying goodbye. "Then don't."Someone said. I jumped at the sound.I thought no one could hear me or see me. "Who said that?"I asked looking around. "Me."The voice said again. I followed the voice to the chair by the bed.It was a girl with short dark hair. "Who are you and how can you hear me?"I asked. "I'm an angel...Well more like your guide.My name is Mandy."She smiled. "Are you dead?"I asked. She nodded. "Am I?"I gulped. "Not all the way but your fading fast."She said holding up my hand. My hand flickered like before and I stepped away from her. "What do you mean not all the way?"I questioned. "Your spirt is out of your body but your still alive.Its hard to explain but I'm here to help you go back."She clapped. "Well how do I do that?"I asked. "You have to do one thing in order to come back."She said. I nodded for her to go on. "You have to change your ways if you go back."She said. "Like not do drugs?"I asked. She nodded. "Okay I'll do it.I promise."I said. "Good now you go and touch your body and close your eyes."She said. I walked over to my body and touched it.I closed my eyes. "Okay know what?"I asked. "Count to three."She said. I counted to three and opened my eyes.Everything was still the same.I turned to look at Mandy. "It didn't work!"I said. "Oh I forgot to tell you that it isn't your descion to go back.Its theirs."She said pointing up. My face got hot.I felt like screaming. "You lied!!!"I yelled. "I did not."She said. "Then why are you here?"I yelled. "To guide you.If you don't want me here just tell me to go."She said. "Just go then...."I said. She nodded and disappeared. "Mandy wait!!!"I called. "How do I know if they made their desicon?"I called. She was no where to be found.I punched the wall.I looked around for Sams.He was asleep in the chair.I had to get out of here.I ran out of the room and down the hall.I ran outside into the cold night.I ran to Joshs house.I walked in and went to his room.He wasn't there.I yelled out his name.I sat on his bed and cried.The door swung opened and I jumped up.It was Josh with another girl.He was making out with her.I ran out of the room.So many things were running through my head.I ran in the middle of the rode.A car was comeing and I just stood there.I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.It smacked into me hard.I didn't think I would feel it but it hurt so bad it smacked me back into the hospital room. I flew up sweaty and breathing hard again.I started choaking.Sams was holding me. "Its okay Marissa."He said making sure I didn't fall off the bed. He yelled for a nurse.I looked around quickly trying to catch my breath.I noticed that I was in the hospital bed.I held Sams back and cried. "I'm alive."I cried into his chest. He rubbed my back and cried too.The nurse ran in.She made sure I was okay.She checked my eyes and took my temperture.She then took my blood pressure.Sams held my hand smileing the whole time.She said everything looks fine.She left the room to do something.Sams patted my hand. "Everyone thought you were gone."He said trembling. "I know but I'm here."I said. "If you would have died....."He cut off. He cried one tear.I cried too. "I'm sorry Sams.I won't ever do drugs again.I promise."I said and hugged him. He hugged me back.I was serious.I don't ever want to touch it again.The doctor came in with a police officer.They wanted to ask me questioned.Sams left the room. "How you doing today Miss Monroe?"The cop asked. I nodded. "Okay I'm gunna ask you some questions and you tell me what you can remember."He nodded. I nodded. "Have you token any kind of drugs before?"He asked. I nodded. "What kind?"He asked. "Just weed."I lied. It was the only thing that would show that I could think of.He wrote it down. "So how did you over dose?Did you take it willingly?"He asked. I shook my head. "You think someone drugged you?"He asked. I nodded. He wrote that down. "Any problems at home?"He asked. I shook my head. "You know weed is illegal right?"He asked. I nodded. "Okay I'll tell you what Marissa...I'm gunna give you some drug classes and put you on probation until you graduate the drug classes.Sound good?"He said. I nodded quickly. "Okay I think we are done here."He smiled and handed me a card with the number to the drug classes on it. "Call that in about a week and everything should be already set up for you."He said and then left. It was my first time getting into trouble with the cops.I think he gave me the drug classes because of that.Sams came back in. "So according to your file,you should be able to leave tomorrow morning."The doctor said. I nodded and he left.Sams sat next to me. "Get me out of here."I whispered to Sams. "Marissa you have to stay here."He said. "Help me get out of here or you know I will do it myself."I said. He let out some breath and then stood up. "Okay whats the plan?"He asked. "You stall the nurses and I make a run for it."I said. He rolled his eyes and left the room.I got up slowly and peeked out the door.He was talking to them making them laugh.I saw his tell me to go.I walked out slowly.These girls were so into Sams they didn't even see me.I walked out the doors and waited for Sams.He appeared and we got into his car. "I need a change of clothes."I said realizing I was still in the hospital gown. "I got you.Don't trip."He said. He drove to his house.I was wondering why he took us here.I needed clothes. "Sams I need some clothes."I said. "I have some here for you."He said helping me out of the car. "I'm not wear your clothes.I'm to tiny for them."I said. "No I have a pair of your clothes here from 3 nights ago.You were so drunk you just started stripping and then fell asleep naked."He laughed. "Oh so thats why I woke up naked in your bed."I said as we went inside. He laughed and we went up to his room. "Do you have a towel I can use.I wanna take a shower."I said. "Yeah go wash all the hospital off of you."He said handing me a towel. I took a shower and dried off.I put my underwear on and there was a knock on the door. "What?"I asked. "I have to pee."He said. "Hold on let me put my bra on."I said. "Just open the door.Its not like I haven't seen you naked before."He said. I put my bra on and unlocked the door.He came in. "Finally."He said and wipped it out. "Well sorry.I have to clean myself."I said putting my shirt and bottoms on. He finished peeing.I threw my black hair up into a messy bun. "Can you take me to Joshs?"I asked. "Why?"He asked. "Just take me."I said. He nodded and he took me to Joshs.I knocked on the door.There was no answer.I knocked again and heard laughing.The door opened and there he was with another girl.I simply smiled.The look on his face...It was like he just seen a ghost. "Damn he got you good."I said. There was a huge red bump on his head. "Anyways Its over Joshua and I'm not even gunna bother beating your bitches ass right now.Maybe another time."I smiled and turned around. The girls mouth fell open. "Marissa wait!"He yelled. I kept walking.I jumped in Sams car. "Where to now?"Sams asked. "Lets go to a kick back."I said. He stared at me. "I'm not gunna do drugs shit."I said. "Okay I don't have a problem if you do."He said. I rolled my eyes. He drove to a white little house.There were beer bottles in the flower pots.I got out. "This is James place remember?"He asked. "Uh Mondays party?"I asked. He nodded. We walked in.The house was hot boxed.I left the door open. "Oh my god she lives."James said giving me a hug. I sat down next to him.Sams went to go smoke in the other room.James hit the bong and passed it to me. "Uh nah I don't smoke anymore."I said. "What?"He said with wide eyes. I laughed. "You got to be kidding me."He said. "Nope I'm serious."I said. "Wow."He said. "Yeah I'm gunna go find Samuel."I said getting up. He was making out with some blonde. "Sams."I said. He looked at me.He walked over to me and we went outside. "Whats wrong?"He asked. "I just....Can you take me home."I said. "Really?"He asked. I nodded. "Marissa we can chill at my place.You don't have to go home."He said. "No I want to go home."I said. "Okay."He said. We got in his car and he took me home.I said bye and walked to the front door.I turned the nob and it broke.I pushed it open and walked in. "The doors broken."I called. "Everythings broken in this house."My mom said. I turned the corner and she was sitting at the table alone.She was smoking a cigarette and holding a piece of paper. "So I'm alive."I said. "Appearately."She said. "Whats that?"I asked as I looked in the fridge for something to drink. I closed it after I noticed there was nothing but alcohol.She threw the piece of paper across the table.I picked it up and read some of it. "What the hell is this?"I asked. "Its a court order you dumbass."She said. "I know that but what for?Whose John Carter?"I asked. "John Carter is a guy I slept with and had you."She said flicking her cigarette ash onto the floor. "Mom....Your meaning to tell me that dad isn't my real dad?"I asked. She nodded. "Why didn't you tell me this!"I asked angerly. "Well I was mad at him so I used you to get back at him.He wanted you but I never let him have you.Well that is until now."She said taking another hit of her cigarette. "What do you mean until now?Is he trying to take me?"I asked. "No you dip shit.He wants vistation rights.But he could take you cause I don't have full custidy."She said. "I'm going to bed."I said. I walked up the stairs and to my room.I layed on my bed that was broken.I didn't want to do drugs anymore.I wanted a mom who cared that I could've died.I closed my eyes and fell asleep.         Two-picture-Sams I was hit with a pillow. "What the fuck!"I yelled. "Your real dad is comeing in an hour and an half."My mom said. "Hes coming here?"I asked. "Yeah I'm going out so make sure he doesn't steal anything."She said and left. "Like we have anything to steal."I said under my breath. I straightened my hair and put my makeup on.I texted Sams to come over while this guy was here just incase he was a creep.I suddently remembered the house was a mess.I sweeped the floors and cleaned the coners off.I wipped them down and straightened up the living room.I vacumed the floors and there was a knock on my door.I put the vacum up and opened the door. "Caitlin?"He asked. I rolled my eyes.I hated it when people said I looked just like my mom when she was younger. "No I'm Marissa."I said. "Oh gosh I'm sorry.I was wondering why you looked so young."He laughed. "You must be John."I said. "Yeah and your my daughter.Wow."He said. "Would you like to come in?"I asked. "Oh yes thank you."He said walking in. He looked around. "Yeah sorry about the mess.I tried to clean up.Would you like something to drink?"I said. He followed me into the kitchen. "We have jack,beer,and whiskey."I said. "Uh I'm good."He smiled. We sat down in the living room.He stared at me for a moment. "So how old are you?"He asked. "I'm 17."I said. "17 years and I don't even know a thing about you."He said. "Yeah my moms a bitch like that."I said. He laughed.There was a knock on the door. "Oh I invited my friend Sam over.I hope you don't mind."I said. "Not at all."He said. I got up and opened the door. "Sorry I wish I could have been here faster but I kinda got stuck."He laughed. "Hes here."I whispered. "Oh now?"He whispered. I nodded.We walked into the living room and sat down. "Sam this is John my blood dad."I said. Sams shook his hand. "So your the boyfriend?"John asked. "Uh no the best friend."Sams said. "Oh gotcha."John said. "So where do you live?"I asked. "Oh I live 4 hours away from here."He said. "You drove 4 hours just to meet me?"I asked. "Marissa don't be rude."Sams said. I shot him a look. "No its okay.Yeah I did.I've been wanting to meet you sence you were born but your mother wouldn't let me."He said. I nodded. "So you guys hungry?"He asked. Sams nodded and I shook my head. John laughed. "So wheres the best place to eat around here?"He asked. "We only have taco bell.Thats the best."Sams laughed. "Taco bell it is then."John said. We got in his truck and drove to taco bell.He ordered our food and we ate.He asked me questions through out the whole day.I didn't have a problem with it.I kinda liked the guy.I felt kinda loved.He took us back to my house. "So I gotta get going.Its almost 9 and I've got work in the morning.I'm so thankful to have met you today Marissa."He smiled. "It was great meeting you."I said. He hugged me and I hugged him back.He shook Sams hand. "See you soon Pumkin.Take care of my daughter for me."He said. "Always."Sams said. "I love you Pumkin."John said and left. "Pumkin thats cute."Sams said. I laughed.We went inside. "So where's moms?"He asked. "Shes out doing god knows what.Petes at the bar."I said. He grabbed the bottle of jack. "Drink with me."He said. I shook my head. He rolled his eyes and drank it.He threw the bottle away. "Can I crash here?"He asked. I nodded. "Good cause I'm drunk."He said dropping himself on the couch. I laughed and sat down next to him.He put his head on my lap and I played with his blonde hair.He told me how he fucked this girl the other night. "Dude your gunna put my ass to bed if you keep playing with my hair."He said sitting up. I stopped playing with it. "Here trace my tattoos."He said. I traced them.I don't know why but every sence I met him I always traced his tattoos and flicked his plugs. "Marissa do you have weed?"He asked. "I might..."I said and went to my room. He followed me.I looked through my dresser.He grabbed my hips. I laughed. "Damn how many times have I told you that you have nice hips."He bit his lip. "Almost everytime we are high."I said still looking for the weed. I found it and gave it to him. "I love you so much."He said slapping my ass. I slapped his ass as he walked.He put the weed in his pipe and lit it.He blew it out. "Can you blow it that way.I don't want to smell it."I said. "Your serious about this."He said. I nodded. "Marissa this is what brought us together."He said. "What are you tryna say?That you won't be my friend anymore if I don't do drugs?"I asked. "Hell no!I would be your friend if you were a bible humper."He said taking another hit. "Okay thats what I thought."I said. "You look cute today."He smiled. "Thanks and your cross faded."I laughed. "Yeah I am.I love it when you wear that red lipstick."He said putting his finger to my lips. I pushed his hand away playfully. "But you know what I love even more is when you don't wear makeup."He smiled. "Your to sweet."I kissed him on the cheek. He finished the bowl and layed on my lap.I turned on the tv.He was out as soon as a comertial came on.Surprisingly I wasn't craving weed or any pills.I felt normal.I'm sticking to this plan.I slowly fell asleep. Three- I woke to the smell of beer roaming through the entire house.Sams was gone.I got up and walk down the hall stepping over my mother.She was passed out on the floor. "Morning."My dad said. Or was he my step dad or...I don't know. "Morning."I said and walked to my room. I washed my face and put my hair up into a bun.I walked back to the kitchen where Sams was talking to my step dad.They were talking about the person who got murdered last week.My step dad was really a great guy when he was sober.He was kind and caring.When he drinks he gets abusive and loud.He beats my mother and doesn't even know. "Just keep my Mary save out there in those streets."My step father said. "No ones gunna harm Marissa when I'm around."Sams said wrapping an arm around me. "Well I wanna take Marissa to get some breakfast."Sams said. My step dad nodded.I put my shoes on and we left.We got something to eat and went to his house. Publication Date: March 3rd 2014 https://www.bookrix.com/-aj362face961925

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-jack-london-the-acorn-planter/

Jack London The Acorn-Planter A California Forest Play (1916) ARGUMENT In the morning of the world, while his tribe makes its camp for the night in a grove, Red Cloud, the first man of men, and the first man of the Nishinam, save in war, sings of the duty of life, which duty is to make life more abundant. The Shaman, or medicine man, sings of foreboding and prophecy. The War Chief, who commands in war, sings that war is the only way to life. This Red Cloud denies, affirming that the way of life is the way of the acorn- planter, and that whoso slays one man slays the planter of many acorns. Red Cloud wins the Shaman and the people to his contention. After the passage of thousands of years, again in the grove appear the Nishinam. In Red Cloud, the War Chief, the Shaman, and the Dew-Woman are repeated the eternal figures of the philosopher, the soldier, the priest, and the woman--types ever realizing themselves afresh in the social adventures of man. Red Cloud recognizes the wrecked explorers as planters and life-makers, and is for treating them with kindness. But the War Chief and the idea of war are dominant The Shaman joins with the war party, and is privy to the massacre of the explorers. A hundred years pass, when, on their seasonal migration, the Nishinam camp for the night in the grove. They still live, and the war formula for life seems vindicated, despite the imminence of the superior life-makers, the whites, who are flooding into California from north, south, east, and west--the English, the Americans, the Spaniards, and the Russians. The massacre by the white men follows, and Red Cloud, dying, recognizes the white men as brother acorn-planters, the possessors of the superior life-formula of which he had always been a protagonist. In the Epilogue, or Apotheosis, occur the celebration of the death of war and the triumph of the acorn-planters. PROLOGUE Time. In the morning of the world. Scene. A forest hillside where great trees stand with wide spaces between. A stream flows from a spring that bursts out of the hillside. It is a place of lush ferns and brakes, also, of thickets of such shrubs as inhabit a redwood forest floor. At the left, in the open level space at the foot of the hillside, extending out of sight among the trees, is visible a portion of a Nishinam Indian camp. It is a temporary camp for the night. Small cooking fires smoulder. Standing about are withe-woven baskets for the carrying of supplies and dunnage. Spears and bows and quivers of arrows lie about. Boys drag in dry branches for firewood. Young women fill gourds with water from the stream and proceed about their camp tasks. A number of older women are pounding acorns in stone mortars with stone pestles. An old man and a Shaman, or priest, look expectantly up the hillside. All wear moccasins and are skin-clad, primitive, in their garmenting. Neither iron nor woven cloth occurs in the weapons and gear. {Shaman} (Looking up hillside.) Red Cloud is late. {Old Man} (After inspection of hillside.) He has chased the deer far. He is patient. In the chase he is patient like an old man. {Shaman} His feet are as fleet as the deer's. {Old Man} (Nodding.) And he is more patient than the deer. {Shaman} (Assertively, as if inculcating a lesson.) He is a mighty chief. {Old Man} (Nodding.) His father was a mighty chief. He is like to his father. {Shaman} (More assertively.) He is his father. It is so spoken. He is his father's father. He is the first man, the first Red Cloud, ever born, and born again, to chiefship of his people. {Old Man} It is so spoken. {Shaman} His father was the Coyote. His mother was the Moon. And he was the first man. {Old Man} (Repeating.) His father was the Coyote. His mother was the Moon. And he was the first man. {Shaman} He planted the first acorns, and he is very wise. {Old Man} (Repeating.) He planted the first acorns, and he is very wise. (Cries from the women and a turning of faces. Red Cloud appears among his hunters descending the hillside. All carry spears, and bows and arrows. Some carry rabbits and other small game. Several carry deer) PLAINT OF THE NISHINAM Red Cloud, the meat-bringer! Red Cloud, the acorn-planter! Red Cloud, first man of the Nishinam! Thy people hunger. Far have they fared. Hard has the way been. Day long they sought, High in the mountains, Deep in the pools, Wide 'mong the grasses, In the bushes, and tree-tops, Under the earth and flat stones. Few are the acorns, Past is the time for berries, Fled are the fishes, the prawns and the grasshoppers, Blown far are the grass-seeds, Flown far are the young birds, Old are the roots and withered. Built are the fires for the meat. Laid are the boughs for sleep, Yet thy people cannot sleep. Red Cloud, thy people hunger. {Red Cloud} (Still descending.) Good hunting! Good hunting! {Hunters} Good hunting! Good hunting! (Completing the descent, Red Cloud motions to the meat-bearers. They throw down their burdens before the women, who greedily inspect the spoils.) MEAT SONG OF THE NISHINAM Meat that is good to eat, Tender for old teeth, Gristle for young teeth, Big deer and fat deer, Lean meat and fat meat, Haunch-meat and knuckle-bone, Liver and heart. Food for the old men, Life for all men, For women and babes. Easement of hunger-pangs, Sorrow destroying, Laughter provoking, Joy invoking, In the smell of its smoking And its sweet in the mouth. (The younger women take charge of the meat, and the older women resume their acorn-pounding.) (Red Cloud approaches the acorn-pounders and watches them with pleasure. All group about him, the Shaman to the fore, and hang upon his every action, his every utterance.) {Red Cloud} The heart of the acorn is good? {First Old Woman} (Nodding.) It is good food. {Red Cloud} When you have pounded and winnowed and washed away the bitter. {Second Old Woman} As thou taught'st us, Red Cloud, when the world was very young and thou wast the first man. {Red Cloud} It is a fat food. It makes life, and life is good. {Shaman} It was thou, Red Cloud, gathering the acorns and teaching the storing, who gavest life to the Nishinam in the lean years aforetime, when the tribes not of the Nishinam passed like the dew of the morning. (He nods a signal to the Old Man.) {Old Man} In the famine in the old time, When the old man was a young man, When the heavens ceased from raining, When the grasslands parched and withered, When the fishes left the river, And the wild meat died of sickness, In the tribes that knew not acorns, All their women went dry-breasted, All their younglings chewed the deer-hides, All their old men sighed and perished, And the young men died beside them, Till they died by tribe and totem, And o'er all was death upon them. Yet the Nishinam unvanquished, Did not perish by the famine. Oh, the acorns Red Cloud gave them! Oh, the acorns Red Cloud taught them How to store in willow baskets 'Gainst the time and need of famine! {Shaman} (Who, throughout the Old Man's recital, has nodded approbation, turning to Red Cloud.) Sing to thy people, Red Cloud, the song of life which is the song of the acorn. {Red Cloud} (Making ready to begin) And which is the song of woman, O Shaman. {Shaman} (Hushing the people to listen, solemnly) He sings with his father's lips, and with the lips of his father's fathers to the beginning of time and men. SONG OF THE FIRST MAN {Red Cloud} I am Red Cloud, The first man of the Nishinam. My father was the Coyote. My mother was the Moon. The Coyote danced with the stars, And wedded the Moon on a mid-summer night The Coyote is very wise, The Moon is very old, Mine is his wisdom, Mine is her age. I am the first man. I am the life-maker and the father of life. I am the fire-bringer. The Nishinam were the first men, And they were without fire, And knew the bite of the frost of bitter nights. The panther stole the fire from the East, The fox stole the fire from the panther, The ground squirrel stole the fire from the fox, And I, Red Cloud, stole the fire from the ground squirrel. I, Red Cloud, stole the fire for the Nishinam, And hid it in the heart of the wood. To this day is the fire there in the heart of the wood. I am the Acorn-Planter. I brought down the acorns from heaven. I planted the short acorns in the valley. I planted the long acorns in the valley. I planted the black-oak acorns that sprout, that sprout! I planted the sho-kum and all the roots of the ground. I planted the oat and the barley, the beaver-tail grass-nut, The tar-weed and crow-foot, rock lettuce and ground lettuce, And I taught the virtue of clover in the season of blossom, The yellow-flowered clover, ball-rolled in its yellow dust. I taught the cooking in baskets by hot stones from the fire, Took the bite from the buckeye and soap-root By ground-roasting and washing in the sweetness of water, And of the manzanita the berry I made into flour, Taught the way of its cooking with hot stones in sand pools, And the way of its eating with the knobbed tail of the deer. Taught I likewise the gathering and storing, The parching and pounding Of the seeds from the grasses and grass-roots; And taught I the planting of seeds in the Nishinam home-camps, In the Nishinam hills and their valleys, In the due times and seasons, To sprout in the spring rains and grow ripe in the sun. {Shaman} Hail, Red Cloud, the first man! {The People} Hail, Red Cloud, the first man! {Shaman} Who showedst us the way of our feet in the world! {The People} Who showedst us the way of our feet in the world! {Shaman} Who showedst us the way of our food in the world! {The People} Who showedst us the way of our food in the world! {Shaman} Who showedst us the way of our hearts in the world! {The People} Who showedst us the way of our hearts in the world! {Shaman} Who gavest us the law of family! {The People} Who gavest us the law of family! {Shaman} The law of tribe! {The People} The law of tribe! {Shaman} The law of totem! {The People} The law of totem! {Shaman} And madest us strong in the world among men! {The People} And madest us strong in the world among men! {Red Cloud} Life is good, O Shaman, and I have sung but half its song. Acorns are good. So is woman good. Strength is good. Beauty is good. So is kindness good. Yet are all these things without power except for woman. And by these things woman makes strong men, and strong men make for life, ever for more life. {War Chief} (With gesture of interruption that causes remonstrance from the Shaman but which Red Cloud acknowledges.) I care not for beauty. I desire strength in battle and wind in the chase that I may kill my enemy and run down my meat. {Red Cloud} Well spoken, O War Chief. By voices in council we learn our minds, and that, too, is strength. Also, is it kindness. For kindness and strength and beauty are one. The eagle in the high blue of the sky is beautiful. The salmon leaping the white water in the sunlight is beautiful. The young man fastest of foot in the race is beautiful. And because they fly well, and leap well, and run well, are they beautiful. Beauty must beget beauty. The ring-tail cat begets the ring-tail cat, the dove the dove. Never does the dove beget the ring-tail cat. Hearts must be kind. The little turtle is not kind. That is why it is the little turtle. It lays its eggs in the sun-warm sand and forgets its young forever. And the little turtle is forever the Kttle turtle. But we are not little turtles, because we are kind. We do not leave our young to the sun in the sand. Our women keep our young warm under their hearts, and, after, they keep them warm with deer-skin and campfire. Because we are kind we are men and not little turtles, and that is why we eat the little turtle that is not strong because it is not kind. {War Chief} (Gesturing to be heard.) The Modoc come against us in their strength. Often the Modoc come against us. We cannot be kind to the Modoc. {Red Cloud} That will come after. Kindness grows. First must we be kind to our own. After, long after, all men will be kind to all men, and all men will be very strong. The strength of the Nishinam is not the strength of its strongest fighter. It is the strength of all the Nishinam added together that makes the Nishinam strong. We talk, you and I, War Chief and First Man, because we are kind one to the other, and thus we add together our wisdom, and all the Nishinam are stronger because we have talked. (A voice is heard singing. Red Cloud holds up his hand for silence.) MATING SONG {Dew-Woman} In the morning by the river, In the evening at the fire, In the night when all lay sleeping, Torn was I with life's desire. There were stirrings 'neath my heart-beats Of the dreams that came to me; In my ears were whispers, voices, Of the children yet to be. {Red Cloud} (As Red Cloud sings, Dew-Woman steals from behind a tree and approaches him.) In the morning by the river Saw I first my maid of dew, Daughter of the dew and dawnlight, Of the dawn and honey-dew. She was laughter, she was sunlight, Woman, maid, and mate, and wife; She was sparkle, she was gladness, She was all the song of life. {Dew-Woman} In the night I built my fire, Fire that maidens foster when In the ripe of mating season Each builds for her man of men. {Red Cloud} In the night I sought her, proved her, Found her ease, content, and rest, After day of toil and struggle Man's reward on woman's breast. {Dew-Woman} Came to me my mate and lover; Kind the hands he laid on me; Wooed me gently as a man may, Father of the race to be. {Red Cloud} Soft her arms about me bound me, First man of the Nishinam, Arms as soft as dew and dawnlight, Daughter of the Nishinam. {Red Cloud} She was life and she was woman! {Dew-Woman} He was life and he was man! {Red Cloud} and Dew-Woman (Arms about each other.) In the dusk-time of our love-night, There beside the marriage fire, Proved we all the sweets of living, In the arms of our desire. {War Chief} (Angrily.) The councils of men are not the place for women. {Red Cloud} (Gently.) As men grow kind and wise there will be women in the councils of men. As men grow their women must grow with them if they would continue to be the mothers of men. {War Chief} It is told of old time that there are women in the councils of the Sim. And is it not told that the Sun Man will destroy us? {Red Cloud} Then is the Sun Man the stronger; it may be because of his kindness and wiseness, and because of his women. {Young Brave} Is it told that the women of the Sun are good to the eye, soft to the arm, and a fire in the heart of man? {Shaman} (Holding up hand solemnly.) It were well, lest the young do not forget, to repeat the old word again. {War Chief} (Nodding confirmation.) Here, where the tale is told. (Pointing to the spring.) Here, where the water burst from under the heel of the Sun Man mounting into the sky. (War Chief leads the way up the hillside to the spring, and signals to the Old Man to begin) {Old Man} When the world was in the making, Here within the mighty forest, Came the Sun Man every morning. White and shining was the Sun Man, Blue his eyes were as the sky-blue, Bright his hair was as dry grass is, Warm his eyes were as the sun is, Fruit and flower were in his glances; All he looked on grew and sprouted, As these trees we see about us, Mightiest trees in all the forest, For the Sun Man looked upon them. Where his glance fell grasses seeded, Where his feet fell sprang upstarting-- Buckeye woods and hazel thickets, Berry bushes, manzanita, Till his pathway was a garden, Flowing after like a river, Laughing into bud and blossom. There was never frost nor famine And the Nishinam were happy, Singing, dancing through the seasons, Never cold and never hungered, When the Sun Man lived among us. But the foxes mean and cunning, Hating Nishinam and all men, Laid their snares within this forest, Caught the Sun Man in the morning, With their ropes of sinew caught him, Bound him down to steal his wisdom And become themselves bright Sun Men, Warm of glance and fruitful-footed, Masters of the frost and famine. Swiftly the Coyote running Came to aid the fallen Sun Man, Swiftly killed the cunning foxes, Swiftly cut the ropes of sinew, Swiftly the Coyote freed him. But the Sun Man in his anger, Lightning flashing, thunder-throwing, Loosed the frost and fanged the famine, Thorned the bushes, pinched the berries, Put the bitter in the buckeye, Rocked the mountains to their summits, Flung the hills into the valleys, Sank the lakes and shoaled the rivers, Poured the fresh sea in the salt sea, Stamped his foot here in the forest, Where the water burst from under Heel that raised him into heaven-- Angry with the world forever Rose the Sun Man into heaven. {Shaman} (Solemnly.) I am the Shaman. I know what has gone before and what will come after. I have passed down through the gateway of death and talked with the dead. My eyes have looked upon the unseen things. My ears have heard the unspoken words. And now I shall tell you of the Sun Man in the days to come. (Shaman stiffens suddenly with hideous facial distortions, with inturned eye-balls and loosened jaw. He waves his arms about, writhes and twists in torment, as if in epilepsy.) (The Women break into a wailing, inarticulate chant, swaying their bodies to the accent. The men join them somewhat reluctantly, all save Red Cloud, who betrays vexation, and War Chief, who betrays truculence.) (Shaman, leading the rising frenzy, with convulsive shiverings and tremblings tears of his skin garments so that he is quite naked save for a girdle of eagle-claws about his thighs. His long black hair flies about his face. With an abruptness that is startling, he ceases all movement and stands erect, rigid. This is greeted with a low moaning that slowly dies away.) CHANT OF PROPHECY {Shaman} The Sun never grows cold. The Sun Man is like the Sun. His anger never grows cold. The Sun Man will return. The Sun Man will come back from the Sun. {People} The Sun Man will return. The Sun Man will come back from the Sun. {Shaman} There is a sign. As the water burst forth when he rose into the sky, So will the water cease to flow when he returns from the sky. The Sun Man is mighty. In his eyes is blue fire. In his hands he bears the thunder. The lightnings are in his hair. {People} In his hands he bears the thunder. The lightnings are in his hair. {Shaman} There is a sign. The Sun Man is white. His skin is white like the sun. His hair is bright like the sunlight.' His eyes are blue like the sky. {People} There is a sign. The Sun Man is white. {Shaman} The Sun Man is mighty. He is the enemy of the Nishinam. He will destroy the Nishinam. {People} He is the enemy of the Nishinam. He will destroy the Nishinam. {Shaman} There is a sign. The Sun Man will bear the thunder in his hand. {People} There is a sign. The Sun Man will bear the thunder in his hand. {Shaman} In the day the Sun Man comes The water from the spring will no longer flow. And in that day he will destroy the Nishinam. With the thunder will he destroy the Nishinam. The Nishinam will be like last year's grasses. The Nishinam will be like the smoke of last year's campfires. The Nishinam will be less than the dreams that trouble the sleeper. The Nishinam will be like the days no man remembers. I am the Shaman. I have spoken. (The People set up a sad wailing.) {War Chief} (Striking his chest with his fist.) Hoh! Hoh! Hoh! (The People cease from their wailing and look to the War Chief with hopeful expectancy.) {War Chief} I am the War Chief. In war I command. Nor the Shaman nor Red Cloud may say me nay when in war I command. Let the Sun Man come back. I am not afraid. If the foxes snared him with ropes, then can I slay him with spear- thrust and war-club. I am the War Chief. In war I command. (The People greet War Chief's pronouncement with warlike cries of approval.) {Red Cloud} The foxes are cunning. If they snared the Sun Man With ropes of sinew, then let us be cunning And snare him with ropes of kindness. In kindness, O War Chief, is strength, much strength. {Shaman} Red Cloud speaks true. In kindness is strength. {War Chief} I am the War Chief. {Shaman} You cannot slay the Sun Man. {War Chief} I am the War Chief. {Shaman} The Sun Man fights with the thunder in his hand. {War Chief} I am the War Chief. {Red Cloud} (As he speaks the People are visibly wan by his argument.) You speak true, O War Chief. In war you command. You are strong, most strong. You have slain the Modoc. You have slain the Napa. You have slain the Clam-Eaters of the big water till the last one is not. Yet you have not slain all the foxes. The foxes cannot fight, yet are they stronger than you because you cannot slay them. The foxes are foxes, but we are men. When the Sun Man comes we will not be cunning like the foxes. We will be kind. Kindness and love will we give to the Sun Man, so that he will be our friend. Then will he melt the frost, pull the teeth of famine, give us back our rivers of deep water, our lakes of sweet water, take the bitter from the buckeye, and in all ways make the world the good world it was before he left us. {People} Hail, Red Cloud, the first man! Hail, Red Cloud, the Acorn-Planter! Who showed us the way of our feet in the world! Who showed us the way of our food in the world! Who showed us the way of our hearts in the world! Who gave us the law of family, The law of tribe, The law of totem, And made us strong in the world among men! (While the People sing the hillside slowly grows dark.) ACT I (Ten thousand years have passed, and it is the time of the early voyaging from Europe to the waters of the Pacific, when the deserted hillside is again revealed as the moon rises. The stream no longer flows from the spring. Since the grove is used only as a camp for the night when the Nishinam are on their seasonal migration there are no signs of previous camps.) (Enter from right, at end of day's march, women, old men, and Shaman, the women bending under their burdens of camp gear and dunnage) (Enter from left youths carrying fish-spears and large fish) (Appear, coming down the hillside, Red Cloud and the hunters, many carrying meat.) (The various repeated characters, despite differences of skin garmenting and decoration, resemble their prototypes of the prologue.) {Red Cloud} Good hunting! Good hunting! {Hunters} Good hunting! Good hunting! {Youths} Good fishing! Good fishing! {Women} Good berries! Good acorns! (The women and youths and hunters, as they reach the campsite, begin throwing down their burdens) {Dew-Woman} (Discovering the dry spring.) The water no longer flows! {Shaman} (Stilling the excitement that is immediate on the discovery.) The word of old time that has come down to us from all the Shamans who have gone before! The Sun Man has come back from the Sun. {Dew-Woman} (Looking to Red Cloud.) Let Red Cloud speak. Since the morning of the world has Red Cloud ever been reborn with the ancient wisdom to guide us. {War Chief} Save in war. In war I command. (He picks out hunters by name.) Deer Foot... Elk Man... Antelope. Run through the forest, climb the hill-tops, seek down the valleys, for aught you may find of this Sun Man. (At a wave of the War Chief's hand the three hunters depart in different directions.) {Dew-Woman} Let Red Cloud speak his mind. {Red Cloud} (Quietly) Last night the earth shook and there was a roaring in the air. Often have I seen, when the earth shakes and there is a roaring, that springs in some places dry up, and that in other places where were no springs, springs burst forth. {Shaman} There is a sign. The Shamans told it of old. The Sun Man will bear the thunder in his hand. {People} There is a sign. The Sun Man will bear the thunder in his hand. {Shaman} The roaring in the air was the thunder of the Sun Man's return. Now will he destroy the Nishinam. Such is the word. {War Chief} Hoh! Hoh! (From right Deer Foot runs in.) {Deer Foot} (Breathless.) They come! He comes! {War Chief} Who comes? {Deer Foot} The Sun Men. The Sun Man. He is their chief. He marches before them. And he is white. {People} There is a sign. The Sun Man is white. {Red Cloud} Carries he the thunder in his hand? {Deer Foot} (Puzzled) He looks hungry. {War Chief} Hoh! Hoh! The Sun Man is hungry. It will be easy to kill a hungry Sun Man. {Red Cloud} It would be easy to be kind to a hungry Sun Man and give him food. We have much. The hunting has been good. {War Chief} Better to kill the Sun Man. (He turns upon People, indicating most commands in gestures as he prepares the ambush, making women and boys conceal all the camp outfit and game, and disposing the armed hunters among the ferns and behind trees till all are hidden.) {Elk Man and Antelope} (Running down hillside) The Sun Man comes. (War Chief sends them to hiding places) {War Chief} (Preparing himself to hide) You have not hidden, O Red Cloud. {Red Cloud} (Stepping into shadow of big tree where he remains inconspicuous though dimly visible) I would see this Sun Man and talk with him. (The sound of singing is heard, and War Chief conceals himself) (Sun Man, with handful of followers, singing to ease the tedium of the march, enter from right. They are patently survivors of a wrecked exploring skip, making their way inland) {Sun Men} We sailed three hundred strong For the far Barbaree; Our voyage has been most long For the far Barbaree; So--it's a long pull, Give a strong pull, For the far Barbaree. We sailed the oceans wide For the coast of Barbaree; And left our ship a sinking On the coast of Barbaree; So--it's a long pull, Give a strong pull, For the far Barbaree. Our ship went fast a-lee On the rocks of Barbaree; That's why we quit the sea On the rocks of Barbaree. So--it's a long pull, Give a strong pull, For the far Barbaree. We quit the bitter seas On the coast of Barbaree; To seek the savag-ees Of the far Barbaree. So--it's a long pull, Give a strong pull, For the far Barbaree. Our feet are lame and sore In the far Barbaree; From treading of the shore Of the far Barbaree. So--it's a long pull, Give a strong pull, For the far Barbaree. A weary brood are we In the far Barbaree; Sea cunies of the sea In the far Barbaree. So--it's a long pull, Give a strong pull, For the far Barbaree. {Sun Man} (Who alone carries a musket, and who is evidently captain of the wrecked company) No farther can we go this night. Mayhap to-morrow we may find the savages and food. (He glances about.) This far world grows noble trees. We shall sleep as in a temple. {First Sea Cuny} (Espying Red Cloud, and pointing.) Look, Captain! {Sun Man} (Making the universal peace-sign, arm raised and out, palm-outward.) Who are you? Speak. We come in peace. We kindness seek. {Red Cloud} (Advancing out of the shadow.) Whence do you come? {Sun Man} From the great sea. {Red Cloud} I do not understand. No one journeys on the great sea. {Sun Man} We have journeyed many moons. {Red Cloud} Have you come from the sun? {Sun Man} God wot! We have journeyed across the sun, high and low in the sky, and over the sun and under the sun the round world 'round. {Red Cloud} (With conviction.) You come from the Sun. Your hair is like the summer sunburnt grasses. Your eyes are blue. Your skin is white. (With absolute conviction.) You are the Sun Man. {Sun Man} (With a shrug of shoulders.) Have it so. I come from the Sun. I am the Sun Man. {Red Cloud} Do you carry the thunder in your hand? {Sun Man} (Nonplussed for the moment, glances at his musket, then smiles.) Yes, I carry the thunder in my hand. (War Chief and the Hunters leap suddenly from ambush. Sun Man warns Sea Cunies not to resist. War Chief captures and holds Sun Man, and Sea Cunies are similarly captured and held. Women and boys appear, and examine prisoners curiously.) {War Chief} Hoh! Hoh! Hoh! I have captured the Sun Man! Like the foxes, I have captured the Sun Man!--Deer Foot! Elk Man! The foxes held the Sun Man. I now hold the Sun Man. Then can you hold the Sun Man. (Deer Foot and Elk Man seize the Sun Man.) {Red Cloud} (To Shaman.) He said he came in kindness. {War Chief} (Sneering.) In kindness, with the thunder in his hand. {Shaman} (Deflected to partisanship of War Chief by War Chief's success.) By his own lips has he said it, with the thunder in his hand. {War Chief} You are the Sun Man. {Sun Man} (Shrugging shoulders.) My names are many as the stars. Call me White Man. {Red Cloud} I am Red Cloud, the first man. {Sun Man} Then am I Adam, the first man and your brother. (Glancing about.) And this is Eden, to look upon it. {Red Cloud} My father was the Coyote. {Sun Man} My father was Jehovah. {Red Cloud} I am the Fire-Bringer. I stole the fire from the ground squirrel and hid it in the heart of the wood. {Sun Man} Then am I Prometheus, your brother. I stole the fire from heaven and hid it in the heart of the wood. {Red Cloud} I am the Acorn-Planter. I am the Food- Bringer, the Life-Maker. I make food for more life, ever more life. {Sun Man} Then am I truly your brother. Life-Maker am I, tilling the soil in the sweat of my brow from the beginning of time, planting all manner of good seeds for the harvest. (Looking sharply at Red Cloud's skin garments.) Also am I the Weaver and Cloth-Maker. (Holding out arm so that Red Cloud may examine the cloth of the coat) From the hair of the goat and the wool of the sheep, and from beaten and spun grasses, do I make the cloth to keep man warm. {Shaman} (Breaking in boastfully.) I am the Shaman. I know all secret things. {Sun Man} I know my pathway under the sun over all the seas, and I know the secrets of the stars that show me my path where no path is. I know when the Wolf of Darkness shall eat the moon. (Pointing toward moon.) On this night shall the Wolf of Darkness eat the moon. (He turns suddenly to Red Cloud, drawing sheath-knife and passing it to him.) More, O First Man and Acorn-Planter. I am the Iron-Maker. Behold! (Red Cloud examines knife, understands immediately its virtue, cuts easily a strip of skin from his skin garment, and is overcome with the wonder of the knife.) {War Chief} (Exhibiting a long bow.) I am the War Chief. No man, save me, has strength to bend this bow. I can slay farther than any man. (A huge bear has come out among the bushes far up the hillside) {Sun Man} I, too, am War Chief over men, and I can slay farther than you. {War Chief} Hoh! Hoh! {Sun Man} (Pointing to bear) Can you slay that with your strong bow? {War Chief} (Dubiously) It is a far shot. Too far. No man can slay a great bear so far. (Sun Man, shaking off from his arms the hands of Deer Foot and Elk Man, aims musket and fires. The bear falls, and the Nishinam betray astonishment and awe) (At a quick signal from War Chief, Sun Man is again seized. War Chief takes away musket and examines it.) {Shaman} There is a sign. {People} There is a sign. He carries the thunder in his hand. He slays with the thunder in his hand. He is the enemy of the Nishinam. He will destroy the Nishinam. {Shaman} There is a sign. {People} There is a sign. In the day the Sun Man comes, The waters from the spring will no longer flow, And in that day will he destroy the Nishinam. {War Chief} (Exhibiting musket.) Hoh! Hoh! I have taken the Sun Man's thunder. {Shaman} Now shall the Sun Man die that the Nishinam may live. {Red Cloud} He is our brother. He, too, is an acorn- planter. He has spoken. {Shaman} He is the Sun Man, and he is our eternal enemy. He shall die. {War Chief} In war I command. (To Hunters.) Tie their feet with stout thongs that they may not run. And then make ready with bow and arrow to do the deed. (Hunters obey, urging and thrusting the Sea Cunies into a compact group behind the Sun Man.) {Red Cloud} Shaman I am not. I know not the secret things. I say the things I know. When you plant kindness you harvest kindness. When you plant blood you harvest blood. He who plants one acorn makes way for life. He who slays one man slays the planter of a thousand acorns. {Shaman} Shaman I am. I see the dark future. I see the Sun Man's death, The journey he must take Through thick and endless forest Where lost souls wander howling A thousand moons of moons. {People} Through thick and endless forest Where lost souls wander howling A thousand moons of moons. (War Chief arranges Hunters with their bows and arrows for the killing.) {Sun Man} (To Red Cloud.) You will slay us? {Red Cloud} (Indicating War Chief.) In war he commands. {Sun Man} (Addressing the Nishinam) Nor am I a Shaman. But I will tell you true things to be. Our brothers are acorn-planters, cloth-weavers, iron-workers. Our brothers are life-makers and masters of life. Many are our brothers and strong. They will come after us. Your First Man has spoken true words. When you plant blood you harvest blood. Our brothers will come to the harvest with the thunder in their hands. There is a sign. This night, and soon, will the Wolf of Darkness eat the moon. And by that sign will our brothers come on the trail we have broken. (As final preparation for the killing is completed, and as Hunters are arranged with their bows and arrows, Sun Man sings.) {Sun Man} Our brothers will come after, On our trail to farthest lands; Our brothers will come after With the thunder in their hands. {Sun Men} Loud will be the weeping, Red will be the reaping, High will be the heaping Of the slain their law commands. {Sun Man} Givers of law, our brothers, This is the law they say: Who takes the life of a brother Ten of the slayers shall pay. {Sun Men} Our brothers will come after, On our trail to farthest lands; Our brothers will come after With the thunder in their hands. Loud will be the weeping, Red will be the reaping, High will be the heaping Of the slain their law commands. {Sun Man} Our brothers will come after By the courses that we lay; Many and strong our brothers, Masters of life are they. {Sun Men} Our brothers will come after On our trail to farthest lands; Our brothers will come after With the thunder in their hands. Loud will be the weeping, Red will be the reaping, High will be the heaping Of the slain their law commands. {Sun Man} Plowers of land, our brothers, Of the hills and pleasant leas; Under the sun our brothers With their keels will plow the seas. {Sun Men} Our brothers will come after, On our trail to farthest lands; Our brothers will come after With the thunder in their hands. Loud will be the weeping, Red will be the reaping, High will be the heaping Of the slain their law commands. {Sun Man} Mighty men are our brothers, Quick to forgive and to wrath, Sailing the seas, our brothers Will follow us on our path. {Sun Men} Our brothers will come after, On our trail to farthest lands; Our brothers will come after With the thunder in their hands. Loud will be the weeping, Red will be the reaping, High will be the heaping Of the slain their law commands. (At signal from War Chief the arrows are discharged, and repeatedly discharged. The Sun Men fall. The War Chief himself kills the Sun Man.) (In what follows, Red Cloud and Dew- Woman stand aside, taking no part. Red Cloud is depressed, and at the same time is overcome with the wonder of the knife which he still holds.) {War Chief} (Brandishing musket and drifting stiff- legged, as he sings, into the beginning of a war dance of victory.) Hoh! Hoh! Hoh! I have slain the Sun Man! Hoh! Hoh! Hoh! I hold his thunder in my hand! Hoh! Hoh! Hoh! Greatest of War Chiefs am I! Hoh! Hoh! Hoh! I have slain the Sun Man! (The dance grows wilder.) (After a time the hillside begins to darken) {Dew-Woman} (Pointing to the moon entering eclipse) Lo! The Wolf of Darkness eats the Moon! (In consternation the dance is broken off for the moment) {Shaman} (Reassuringly) It is a sign. The Sun Man is dead. {War Chief} (Recovering courage and resuming dance.) Hoh! Hoh! Hoh! The Sun Man is dead! {People} (Resuming dance.) Hoh! Hoh! Hoh! The Sun Man is dead! (As darkness increases the dance grows into a saturnalia, until complete darkness settles down and hides the hillside.) ACT II (A hundred years have passed, when the hillside and the Nishinam in their temporary camp are revealed. The spring is flowing, and Women are filling gourds with water. Red Cloud and Dew- Woman stand apart from their people.) {Shaman} (Pointing.) There is a sign. The spring lives. The water flows from the spring And all is well with the Nishinam. {People} There is a sign. The spring lives. The water flows from the spring. {War Chief} (Boastingly.) Hoh! Hoh! Hoh! All is well with the Nishinam. Hoh! Hoh! Hoh! It is I who have made all well with the Nishinam. Hoh! Hoh! Hoh! I led our young men against the Napa. Hoh! Hoh! Hoh! We left no man living of the camp. Hoh! Hoh! Hoh! {Shaman} Great is our War Chief! Good is war! No more will the Napa hunt our meat. No more will the Napa pick our berries. No more will the Napa catch our fish. {People} No more will the Napa hunt our meat. No more will the Napa pick our berries. No more will the Napa catch our fish. {War Chief} Hoh! Hoh! Hoh! The War Chiefs before me made all well with the Nishinam. Hoh! Hoh! Hoh! The War Chief of long ago slew the Sun Man. Hoh! Hoh! Hoh! The Sun Man said his brothers would come after. Hoh! Hoh! Hoh! The Sun Man lied. {People} Hoh! Hoh! Hoh! The Sun Man lied. Hoh! Hoh! Hoh! The Sun Man lied. {Shaman} (Derisively.) Red Cloud is sick. He lives in dreams. Ever he dreams of the wonders of the Sun Man. {Red Cloud} The Sun Man was strong. The Sun Man was a life-maker. The Sun Man planted acorns, and cut quickly with a knife not of bone nor stone, and of grasses and hides made cunning cloth that is better than all grasses and hides. --Old Man, where is the cunning cloth that is better than all grasses and hides? {Old Man} (Fumbling in his skin pouch for the doth.) In the many moons aforetime, Hundred moons and many hundred, When the old man was the young man, When the young man was the youngling, Dragging branches for the campfire, Stealing suet from the bear-meat, Cause of trouble to his mother, Came the Sun Man in the night-time. I alone of all the Nishinam Live to-day to tell the story; I alone of all the Nishinam Saw the Sun Man come among us, Heard the Sun Man and his Sun Men Sing their death-song here among us Ere they died beneath our arrows, War Chief's arrows sharp and feathered-- {War Chief} (Interrupting braggartly.) Hoh! Hoh! Hoh! {Old Man} (Producing cloth.) And the Sun Man and his Sun Men Wore nor hair nor hide nor birdskin. Cloth they wore from beaten grasses Woven like our willow baskets, Willow-woven acorn baskets Women make in acorn season. (Old Man hands piece of cloth to Red Cloud.) {Red Cloud} (Admiring cloth.) The Sun Man was an acorn-planter, and we killed the Sun Man. We were not kind. We made a blood-debt. Blood-debts are not good. {Shaman} The Sun Man lied. His brothers did not come after. There is no blood-debt when there is no one to make us pay. {Red Cloud} He who plants acorns reaps food, and food is life. He who sows war reaps war, and war is death. {People} (Encouraged by Shaman and War Chief to drown out Red Cloud's voice.) Hoh! Hoh! Hoh! The Sun Man is dead! Hoh! Hoh! Hoh! The Sun Man and his Sun Men are dead! {Red Cloud} (Shaking his head.) His brothers of the Sun are coming after. I have reports. (Red Cloud beckons one after another of the young hunters to speak) {First Hunter} To the south, not far, I wandered and lived with the Petaluma. With my eyes I did not see, but it was told me by those whose eyes had seen, that still to the south, not far, were many Sun Men--war chiefs who carry the thunder in their hands; cloth-makers and weavers of cloth like to that in Red Cloud's hand; acorn-planters who plant all manner of strange seeds that ripen to rich harvests of food that is good. And there had been trouble. The Petaluma had killed Sun Men, and many Petaluma had the Sun Men killed. {Second Hunter} To the east, not far, I wandered and lived with the Solano. With my own eyes I did not see, but it was told me by those whose eyes had seen, that still to the east, not far, and just beyond the lands of the Tule tribes, were many Sun Men-- war chiefs and cloth-makers and acorn-planters. And there had been trouble. The Solano had killed Sun Men, and many Solano had the Sun Men killed. {Third Hunter} To the north, and far, I wandered and lived with the Klamath. With my own eyes I did not see, but it was told me by those whose eyes had seen, that still to the north, and far, were many Sun Men--war chiefs and cloth-makers and acorn-planters. And there had been trouble. The Klamath had killed Sun Men, and many Klamath had the Sun Men killed. {Fourth Hunter} To the west, not far, three days gone I wandered, where, from the mountain, I looked down upon the great sea. With my own eyes I saw. It was like a great bird that swam upon the water. It had great wings like to our great trees here. And on its back I saw men, many men, and they were Sun Men. With my own eyes I saw. {Red Cloud} We shall be kind to the Sun Men when they come among us. {War Chief} (Dancing stiff-legged.) Hoh! Hoh! Hoh! Let the Sun Men come! Hoh! Hoh! Hoh! We will kill the Sun Men when they come! {People} (As they join in the war dance.) Hoh! Hoh! Hoh! Let the Sun Men come! Hoh! Hoh! Hoh! We will kill the Sun Men when they come. (The dance grows wilder, the Shaman and War Chief encouraging it, while Red Cloud and Dew-Woman stand sadly at a distance.) (Rifle shots ring out from every side. Up the hillside appear Sun Men firing rifles. The Nishinam reel to death from their dancing.) (Red Cloud shields Dew-Woman with one arm about her, and with the other arm makes the peace-sign) (The massacre is complete, Dew-Woman and Red Cloud being the last to fall. Red Cloud, wounded, the sole survivor, rests on his elbow and watches the Sun Men assemble about their leader) (The Sun Men are the type of pioneer Americans who, even before the discovery of gold, were already drifting across the Sierras and down into Oregon and California with their oxen and great wagons. With here and there a Rocky Mountain trapper or a buckskin-clad scout of the Kit Carson type, in the main they are backwoods farmers. All carry the long rifle of the period.) (The Sun Man is buckskin-clad, with long blond hair sweeping his shoulders.) {Sun Men} (Led by Sun Man.) We crossed the Western Ocean Three hundred years ago, We cleared New England's forests Three hundred years ago. Blow high, blow low, Heigh hi, heigh ho, We cleared New England's forests Three hundred years ago. We climbed the Alleghanies Two hundred years ago, We reached the Susquehanna Two hundred years ago. Blow high, blow low, Heigh hi, heigh ho, We reached the Susquehanna Two hundred years ago. We crossed the Mississippi One hundred years ago, And glimpsed the Rocky Mountains One hundred years ago. Blow high, blow low, Heigh hi, heigh ho, And glimpsed the Rocky Mountains One hundred years ago. We passed the Rocky Mountains A year or so ago, And crossed the salty deserts A year or so ago. Blow high, blow low, Heigh hi, heigh ho, And crossed the salty deserts A year or so ago. We topped the high Sierras But a few days ago, And saw great California But a few days ago. Blow high, blow low, Heigh hi, heigh ho, And saw great California But a few days ago. We crossed Sonoma's mountains An hour or so ago, And found this mighty forest An hour or so ago. Blow high, blow low, Heigh hi, heigh ho, And found this mighty forest An hour or so ago. {Sun Man} (Glancing about at the slain and at the giant forest.) Good the day, good the deed, and good this California land. {Red Cloud} Not with these eyes, but with other eyes in my lives before, have I beheld you. You are the Sun Man. (The attention of all is drawn to Red Cloud, and they group about him and the Sun Man.) {Sun Man} Call me White Man. Though in truth we follow the sun. All our lives have we followed the sunset sun, as our fathers followed it before us. {Red Cloud} And you slay us with the thunder in your hand. You slay us because we slew your brothers. {Sun Man} (Nodding to Red Cloud and addressing his own followers) You see, it was no mistake. He confesses it. Other white men have they slain. {Red Cloud} There will come a day when men will not slay men and when all men will be brothers. And in that day all men will plant acorns. {Sun Man} You speak well, brother. {Red Cloud} Ever was I for peace, but in war I did not command. Ever I sought the secrets of the growing things, the times and seasons for planting. Ever I planted acorns, making two black oak trees grow where one grew before. And now all is ended. Oh my black oak acorns! My black oak acorns! Who will plant them now? {Sun Man} Be of good cheer. We, too, are planters. Rich is your land here. Not from poor soil can such trees sprout heavenward. We will plant many seeds and grow mighty harvests. {Red Cloud} I planted the short acorns in the valley. I planted the long acorns in the valley. I made food for life. {Sun Man} You planted well, brother, but not well enough. It is for that reason that you pass. Your fat valley grows food but for a handful of men. We shall plant your fat valley and grow food for ten thousand men. {Red Cloud} Ever I counseled peace and planting. {Sun Man} Some day all men will counsel peace. No man will slay his fellow. All men will plant. {Red Cloud} But before that day you will slay, as you have this day slain us? {Sun Man} You killed our brothers first. Blood-debts must be paid. It is man's way upon the earth. But more, O brother! We follow the sunset sun, and the way before us is red with war. The way behind us is white with peace. Ever, before us, we make room for life. Ever we slay the squalling crawling things of the wild. Ever we clear the land and destroy the weeds that block the way of life for the seeds we plant. We are many, and many are our brothers that come after along the way of peace we blaze. Where you make two black oaks grow in the place of one, we make an hundred. And where we make one grow, our brothers who come after make an hundred hundred. {Red Cloud} Truly are you the Sun Man. We knew about you of old time. Our old men knew and sang of you: White and shining was the Sun Man, Blue his eyes were as the sky-blue, Bright his hair was as dry grass is, Warm his eyes were as the sun is, Fruit and flower were in his glances, All he looked on grew and sprouted, Where his glance fell grasses seeded, Where his feet fell sprang upstarting Buckeye woods and hazel thickets, Berry bushes, manzanita, Till his pathway was a garden, Flowing after like a river Laughing into bud and blossom. SONG OF THE PIONEERS {Sun Men} Our brothers follow on the trail we blaze. Where howled the wolf and ached the naked plain Spring bounteous harvests at our brothers' hands; In place of war's alarums, peaceful days; Above the warrior's grave the golden grain Turns deserts grim and stark to laughing lands. {Sun Man} We cleared New England's flinty slopes and plowed Her rocky fields to fairness in the sun, But fared we westward always for we sought A land of golden richness and we knew The land was waiting on the sunset trail. Where we found forest we left fertile fields, We bridled rivers wild to grind our corn, The deer-paths turned to roadways at our heels, Our axes felled the trees that bridged the streams, And fenced the meadow pastures for our kine. {Sun Men} Our brothers follow on the trail we blaze; Where howled the wolf and ached the naked plain Spring bounteous harvests at our brothers' hands; In place of war's alarums, peaceful days; Above the warrior's grave the golden grain Turns deserts grim and stark to laughing lands. {Sun Man} Beyond the Mississippi still we fared, And rested weary by the River Platte Until the young grass velveted the Plains, Then yoked again our oxen to the trail That ever led us west to farthest west. Our women toiled beside us, and our young, And helped to break the soil and plant the corn, And fought beside us in the battle front To fight of arrow, whine of bullet, when We chained our circled wagons wheel to wheel. {Sun Men} Our brothers follow on the trail we blaze; Where howled the wolf and ached the naked plain Spring bounteous harvests at our brothers hands; In place of war's alarums, peaceful days; Above the warrior's grave the golden grain Turns deserts grim and stark to laughing lands. {Sun Man} The rivers sank beneath the desert sand, The tall pines dwarfed to sage-brush, and the grass Grew sparse and bitter in the alkali, But fared we always toward the setting sun. Our oxen famished till the last one died And our great wagons rested in the snow. We climbed the high Sierras and looked down From winter bleak upon the land we sought, A sunny land, a rich and fruitful land, The warm and golden California land. {Sun Men} Our brothers follow on the trail we blaze; Where howled the wolf and ached the naked plain Spring bounteous harvests at our brothers' hands; In place of war's alarums, peaceful days; Above the warrior's grave the golden grain Turns deserts grim and stark to laughing lands. (The hillside begins to darken.) {Red Cloud} (Faintly.) The darkness is upon me. You are acorn- planters. You are my brothers. The darkness is upon me and I pass. {Sun Men} (As total darkness descends.) Our brothers follow on the trail we blaze; Where howled the wolf and ached the naked plain Spring bounteous harvests at our brothers' hands; In place of war's alarums, peaceful days; Above the warrior's grave the golden grain Turns deserts grim and stark to laughing lands. EPILOGUE {Red Cloud} Good tidings! Good tidings To the sons of men! Good tidings! Good tidings! War is dead! (Light begins to suffuse the hillside, revealing Red Cloud far up the hillside in a commanding position on an out-jut of rock.) Lo, the New Day dawns, The day of brotherhood, The day when all men Shall be kind to all men, And all men shall be sowers of life. (From every side a burst of voices.) Hail to Red Cloud! The Acorn-Planter! The Life-Maker! Hail! All hail! The New Day dawns, The day of brotherhood, The day of man. (A band of Warriors appears on hillside.) Warriors Hail, Red Cloud! Mightier than all fighting men! The slayer of War! We are not sad. Our eyes were blinded. We did not know one acorn planted Was mightier than an hundred fighting men. We are not sad. Our red work was when The world was young and wild. The world has grown wise. No man slays his brother. Our work is done. In the light of the new day are we glad. (A band of Pioneers and Sea Explorers appears.) Pioneers and Explorers Hail, Red Cloud! The first planter! The Acorn-Planter! We sang that War would die, The anarch of our wild and wayward past. We sang our brothers would come after, Turning desert into garden, Sowing friendship, and not hatred, Planting seeds instead of dead men, Growing men to manhood in the sun. (A band of Husbandmen appear, bearing fruit and sheaves of grain and corn.) {Husbandmen} Hail, Red Cloud! The first planter! The Acorn-Planter! The harvests no more are red, but golden, We are thy children. We plant for increase, Increase of wheat and corn, Of fruit and flower, Of sheep and kine, Of love and lovers; Rich are our harvests And many are our lovers. {Red Cloud} Death is a stench in the nostrils, Life is beauty and joy. The planters are ever brothers. Never are the warriors brothers; Their ways are set apart, Their hands raised each against each. The planters' ways are the one way. Ever they plant for life, For life more abundant, For beauty of head and hand, For the voices of children playing, And the laughter of maids in the twilight And the lover's song in the gloom. {All Voices} Hail, Red Cloud! The first planter! The Acorn-Planter! The maker of life! Hail! All hail! The New Day dawns, The day of brotherhood, The day of man! THE END Publication Date: May 30th 2008 https://www.bookrix.com/-bx.london

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-ally-kettering-a-glistening-sorrow/

Ally Kettering A Glistening Sorrow - I dedicate this book to Sophia Pierce for always being there for me. I also dedicate this book to Maddox Barnes for loving me for who I am. A Glistening Sorrow. I look at him. He looks at me. He sees my eyes glistening, As they are wet in sorrow. He just walks away, Without a word, without a care... About me. Yet that's all about to be over, In a matter of time he's going to care... About me. I stand up, I walk away. I walk to the bridge, over the river. I watch the water move rapidly I breath in the crisp air The wind blows my hair around. Then, I jump, Without a word, without a care I let the river's currents pull me down, I don't even bother to try to get out of the current, I aready know my life is over.     Publication Date: November 9th 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-bn3d652c5595725

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-megan-bretbrunner-midnight-sun/

megan bretbrunner midnight sun book 1 chapter one: not a normal town Me and my mom were driving along the road "what you thing about?" She asked. "Our new house," I said flatly. "It'll be ok honey," she said. "No it won't Seattle is number three on the crime list," I said. "I know it I but nothing will happen I know you bony want to be here but your father got a great job oppertoonity," she said weakly. "I know that," I said. We drove to the house in silence the house was hive there were three bedrooms and two bathrooms and a huge kitchen. "What do you want to do girl friend," mom said trying to sound cool. "I wanna go to the mall," I said. "Ok," she said. We drove to the mall. "Mom I'm going to justice," I told her. "K". I headed for the store I went inside I saw a girl who looked my age "hi," I said. "Hi people dont usually move here often you must be brave,"she said. "What's that supposed to mean?" I asked. "You seem very interesting," she said. "What do you mean?" I asked. "This town isn't. Normal you know," she said madderafactly. "What do you mean?" I asked. "I mean things aren't what they seem," she said. "I'll tell you more tomarrow meet me in the alleyways by the little store," she said. "Ok," I said. I walked away bought a purple dress and a miniskirt and left still shaken. "What's up," mom asked. "Got a dress and a skirt and I'm about to go to Claire's," I said. I went to Claire's and saw the girl was there "hey I never got your name," I said. "The names Casey," she said. "Wanna go shopping with me?" She asked. "Sure," I answered. We went into the store I bought a pair of Waring's and a chapstick then as I was paying I saw Casey gazing at a necklace. "Why don't you buy it?"I asked. "Cu's I'm broke," she said. "I'll buy it for you," I said. "Thanks," she said as we walked Torres the counter. "I'll see you tomarrow," I said. She smiled"ok see you there," she said. Me and my mom headed home together. "I saw you with a girl earlier who was she?" Mom asked. "Casey," I said. After we got home I took a bath and went to bed I woke yup on saterday morning and got dressed and headed for the alley way. I met her in the alley. "What's up?" I asked. "Remember how I said this town isn't normal," she said. "Yeah,"I said. "Well it,s filled with vampires I myself am a vampire," she said. "What!" I screeched. "I'm a vampire," she repeated. "Oh my gosh!" I gasped. "And I really like you and I thinkvit will be dangeres to be human so I have to do this," she said grabbing mycarm. "What are you doing?" I screamed. :I'm going to turn you so you don't end up vampire food if I bite you you can be my best friend forever,"she said with a smile. chapter 2 a new life Her lips touched my arm and I felt a sharp pain in my arm I screamed her lips lifted revealing a sharp bite mark with blood on it thenn I felt a horrible pain in my arm in felt like a fire "help my arms on fire wait there's no fire then ...what the heck!" O screammed in pain. "Its the venom," she said. "How long will this take?" I asked. "Three days tops," she said. Suddenly I looked at her closer and her eyes were gold. "Is the twilight thing true?" I asked. "Yep," she said. "Here I'll bandage it you know your blood links us together forever,"she said. "Really?" I asked. "Uh huh," she said. The pain was spreading rapidly. "Can I have an Seville?" I asked in pain. "Sure," she said. "Thanks I'll pay," she said. We went to the store the pain growing and paid for it. e went back to the alley I sat back up against the wall wimmpering in pain."I know it hurts but the benifits out way the pain," she said. "Easy for you to say your not on fire," I said. "Take an advil. It'll help," she said. "By the way I have been through this I transformed too," she said. "By the way did my blood taste good?" She asked. "Like syrups," she said. "Cool," I said as I took the advil. And with that the drousyness over took me and I fell asleep. I woke up in the alley I looked at my watch it was 6 p.m. and. Casey was staring at me. "You were moaning in your sleep," she said. Well I feel like I'm on fire I think you'll hear some moaning!" I said. "I gotta get home want to come?"I asked."sure," she said. We walked home I was screaming on the inside the pain was almost unbearable. "Carry me,"I groaned. "Ok," she said as she picked me up like a I was a feather. She started to run faster then a car the wind wiped through my hair. We arrived at my house mom had set up my bed finally. "Who's your friend?" Mom asked."mom this is Casey,"I said. "Casey this is my mother jade," I said. "Mice to meet you honey," mom said. "Thanks Mrs. Berry," she said. "Honey what happened to your arm?"she asked looking at the bandage. "I tripped,"I told her. "Honey you have to be more careful!" She said. "I will mom me and Casey are going up to my room," I said. "K". We went into my room. "So if the the twilight thing is true are the cullens real?" I asked. "Yep and we're going to see them after you transform," she said. "Cool!" I screeched. "Settle down," Casey told me. "I better get to sleep," I said. "But its only seven," she told me. "Well the less I'm awake the less pain I'll feel now hand me the advil," I told her. "Ok," she said" ill stay though," she said. I was sitting on the bedwhen sleep over took me I woke up at six a.m. "hey," Casey said from the end of my bed. And then I felt it the pain drained from my finger tips the from my hands my heart beat started to slow. "I think its almost over," I said to her. "Oh," she said flatly. The pain drained from my arms and legs then my stumic the finally my heart beat its last beat. "It's over," I told her. "Nice then we need to go hunting," she said. "Ok," I said. We went fords the window. Then she jumped out it. She landed with a low thud. "Now you," she called. I stepped closer and jumped I went flying through the air and landed on my feet with a low thud. "Now we run," she told me. I started to run I found my self running faster then any human should go. We ran through the forest a clearing where I saw a dear I took a sniff and smelled the best smell ever like surupe. I lunged for the dear it gave little fight I putt my lips to the dear and bit it it tasted so good like sweet and soar souce. We hunted 3 more deer and then headed back to the house as we walked the sun came out and Casey and I began sparkling like a million diamonds. We climbed through the window and I went to moms room. "Mom I'll be back by six ok?" I said. "Sure," she said. We headed to forks we arrived at noon I knocked on the door a young man answered the door. "Hello I'm Edward come in" he said looking at my eyes. "Hello Casey what's up?" Carlisle asked as we walked in. He looked at me and said. "Oh crap Casey you bit someone," he said. "I bit her to save her," she said. "Hello in the room," I said. "Oh of course have you hunted yet?" He asked. " I had three deer sir," I told him. "No need to call me sir," he said. "Can I look at my self in the mirror now?" I asked. "Of cource," Edward said to me. He grabbed a mirror from the bathroom I egsamined I had bright red eyes pale skin and long hair down to my butt. "Oh crap my new appearence will blow our cover my mom notices every thing be have to get out of here!" I worried. "Don't worry we will," Edward said glaaring at Casey. "Oh Edward what's going on down here?" A beautiful lady asked. "Casey bit someone by the way Amanda this is bella," Edward said. "And we need to skip town," I told her. "Ok i’ll get nessie and then I'll call Jacob," she said. "NESSIE GET DOWN HERE," bella shouted. A 16 year old girl came down the stairs. "We're leaving," she told the girl. " can jakey com?" She asked. "Yes but no kissing," bella said. Ok. Publication Date: January 27th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-megangirl23

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-pedro-calderon-de-la-barca-the-wonder-working-magician/

Pedro Calderón de la Barca The Wonder-Working Magician Translator Denis Florence MacCarthy INTRODUCTION. Two of the dramas contained in this volume are the most celebrated of all Calderon's writings. The first, "La Vida es Sueno", has been translated into many languages and performed with success on almost every stage in Europe but that of England. So late as the winter of 1866-7, in a Russian version, it drew crowded houses to the great theatre of Moscow; while a few years earlier, as if to give a signal proof of the reality of its title, and that Life was indeed a Dream, the Queen of Sweden expired in the theatre of Stockholm during the performance of "La Vida es Sueno". In England the play has been much studied for its literary value and the exceeding beauty and lyrical sweetness of some passages; but with the exception of a version by John Oxenford published in "The Monthly Magazine" for 1842, which being in blank verse does not represent the form of the original, no complete translation into English has been attempted. Some scenes translated with considerable elegance in the metre of the original were published by Archbishop Trench in 1856; but these comprised only a portion of the graver division of the drama. The present version of the entire play has been made with the advantages which the author's long experience in the study and interpretation of Calderon has enabled him to apply to this master-piece of the great Spanish poet. All the forms of verse have been preserved; while the closeness of the translation may be inferred from the fact, that not only the whole play but every speech and fragment of a speech are represented in English in the exact number of lines of the original, without the sacrifice, it is to be hoped, of one important idea. A note by Hartzenbusch in the last edition of the drama published at Madrid (1872), tells that "La Vida es Sueno", is founded on a story which turns out to be substantially the same as that with which English students are familiar as the foundation of the famous Induction to the "Taming of the Shrew". Calderon found it however in a different work from that in which Shakespeare met with it, or rather his predecessor, the anonymous author of "The Taming of a Shrew", whose work supplied to Shakespeare the materials of his own comedy. On this subject Malone thus writes. "The circumstance on which the Induction to the anonymous play, as well as to the present Comedy [Shakespeare's "Taming of the Shrew"], is founded, is related (as Langbaine has observed) by Heuterus, "Rerum Burgund." lib. iv. The earliest English original of this story in prose that I have met with is the following, which is found in Goulart's "Admirable and Memorable Histories", translated by E. Grimstone, quarto, 1607; but this tale (which Goulart translated from Heuterus) had undoubtedly appeared in English, in some other shape, before 1594: "Philip called the good Duke of Burgundy, in the memory of our ancestors, being at Bruxelles with his Court, and walking one night after supper through the streets, accompanied by some of his favourites, he found lying upon the stones a certaine artisan that was very dronke, and that slept soundly. It pleased the prince in this artisan to make trial of the vanity of our life, whereof he had before discoursed with his familiar friends. He therefore caused this sleeper to be taken up, and carried into his palace; he commands him to be layed in one of the richest beds; a riche night cap to be given him; his foule shirt to be taken off, and to have another put on him of fine holland. When as this dronkard had digested his wine, and began to awake, behold there comes about his bed Pages and Groomes of the Duke's Chamber, who drawe the curteines, make many courtesies, and being bare-headed, aske him if it please him to rise, and what apparell it would please him to put on that day. They bring him rich apparell. This new Monsieur amazed at such courtesie, and doubting whether he dreamt or waked, suffered himselfe to be drest, and led out of the chamber. There came noblemen which saluted him with all honour, and conduct him to the Masse, where with great ceremonie they give him the booke of the Gospell, and the Pixe to kisse, as they did usually to the Duke. From the Masse they bring him back unto the pallace; he washes his hands, and sittes down at the table well furnished. After dinner, the Great Chamberlain commands cards to be brought with a great summe of money. This Duke in imagination playes with the chief of the Court. Then they carry him to walke in the gardein, and to hunt the hare, and to hawke. They bring him back into the pallace, where he sups in state. Candles being light the musitions begin to play; and the tables taken away, the gentlemen and gentlewomen fell to dancing. Then they played a pleasant comedie, after which followed a Banket, whereat they had presently store of Ipocras and pretious wine, with all sorts of confitures, to this prince of the new impression; so as he was dronke, and fell soundlie asleepe. Hereupon the Duke commanded that he should be disrobed of all his riche attire. He was put into his old ragges, and carried into the same place, where he had been found the night before; where he spent that night. Being awake in the morning, he began to remember what had happened before; he knewe not whether it were true indeede, or a dream that had troubled his braine. But in the end, after many discourses, he concludes that ALL WAS BUT A DREAME that had happened unto him; and so entertained his wife, his children, and his neighbours, without any other apprehension." It is curious to find that the same anecdote which formed the Induction to the original "Taming of a Shrew", and which, from a comic point of view, Shakespeare so wonderfully developed in his own comedy, Calderon invested with such solemn and sublime dignity in "La Vida es Sueno". He found it, as Senor Hartzenbusch points out in the edition of 1872 already quoted, in the very amusing "Viage Entretenido" of Augustin de Rojas, which was first published in 1603. Hartzenbusch refers to the modern edition of Rojas, Madrid, 1793, tomo I, pp. 261, 262, 263, but in a copy of the Lerida edition of 1615, in my own possession, I find the anecdote at folios 118, 119, 120. There are some slight differences between the version of Rojas and that of Goulart, but the incidents and the persons are the same. The conclusion to which the artizan arrived at, in the version of Goulart, that all had been a dream, is expressed more strongly by the Duke himself in the story as told by Rojas. "Y dijo entonces el Duque: 'veis aqui, amigos, "Lo que es el Mundo: Todo es un Sueno", pues esto verdaderamente ha pasado por este, como habeis visto, y le parece que lo ha sonado.'" - The story in all probability came originally from the East. Mr. Lane in his translation of the Thousand and One Nights gives a very interesting narrative which he believes to be founded on an historical fact in which Haroun Al Raschid plays the part of the good Duke of Burgundy, and Abu-l-Hasan the original of Christopher Sly. The gravity of the treatment and certain incidents in this Oriental story recall more strongly Calderon's drama than the Induction to the "Taming of the Shrew". "La Vida es Sueno" was first published either at the end of 1635 or beginning of 1636. The "Aprobacion" for its publication along with eleven other dramas (not nine as Archbishop Trench has stated), was signed on the 6th of November in the former year by the official licenser, Juan Bautista de Sossa. The volume was edited by the poet's brother, Don Joseph Calderon. So scarce has this first authorised collection of any of Calderon's dramas become, that a Spanish writer Don Vicente Garcia de la Huerta, in his "Teatro Espanol" (Parte Segunda, tomo 3o), denies the existence of this volume of 1635, and states that it did not appear until 1640. As if to corroborate this view, Barrera in his "Catalogo del Teatro antiguo Espanol" gives the date 1640 to the "Primera parte de comedias de Calderon" edited by his brother Joseph. There can be no doubt, however, that the volume appeared in 1635 or 1636 as stated. In 1637 Don Joseph Calderon published the "Second Part" of his brother's dramas containing like the former volume twelve plays.* In his dedication of this volume to D. Rodrigo de Mendoza, Joseph Calderon expressly alludes to the First Part of his brother's comedies which he had "printed." "En la primera Parte, Excellentissimo Senor, de las comedias que imprimi de Don Pedro Calderon de La Barca, mi hermano," etc. This of course settles the fact of the prior publication of the first Part. It is singular, however, to find that the most famous of all Calderon's dramas should have been frequently ascribed to Lope de Vega. So late as 1857 it is given in an Italian version by Giovanni La Cecilia, under the title of "La Vita e un Sogno", as a drama of Lope de Vega, with the date 1628. This of course is a mistake, but Senor Hartzenbusch, who makes no allusion to this circumstance, admits that two dramas of Lope de Vega, which it is presumed preceded the composition of Calderon's play turn on very nearly the same incidents as those of "La Vida es Sueno". These are "Lo que ha de ser", and "Barlan y Josafa". He gives a passage from each of these dramas which seem to be the germ of the fine lament of Sigismund, which the reader will find translated in the present volume. [footnote] *In the library of the British Museum there is a fine copy of this "Segunda Parte de Comedias de Don Pedro Calderon de la Barca" Madrid, 1637. Mr. Ticknor mentions (1863) that he too had a copy of this interesting volume. Senor Hartzenbusch, in the edition of Calderon's "La Vida es Sueno", already referred to (Madrid, 1872), prints the passages from Lope de Vega's two dramas, but in neither of them, he justly remarks, can we find anything that at all corresponds to this "grandioso caracter de Segismundo." The second drama in this volume, "The Wonderful Magician", is perhaps better known to poetical students in England than even the first, from the spirited fragment Shelley has left us in his "Scenes from Calderon." The preoccupation of a subject by a great master throws immense difficulties in the way of any one who ventures to follow in the same path: but as Shelley allowed himself great licence in his versification, and either from carelessness or an imperfect knowledge of Spanish is occasionally unfaithful to the meaning of his author, it may be hoped in my own version that strict fidelity both as to the form as well as substance of the original may be some compensation for the absence of those higher poetical harmonies to which many of my readers will have been accustomed. "El Magico Prodigioso" appeared for the first time in the same volume as "La Vida es Sueno", prepared for publication in 1635 by Don Joseph Calderon. The translation is comprised in the same number of lines as the original, and all the preceding remarks on "Life is a Dream", whether in reference to the period of the first publication of the drama in Spain, or the principles I kept in view while attempting this version may be applied to it. As in the Case of "Life is a Dream", "The Wonderful Magician" has previously been translated entire by an English writer, ("Justina", by J.H. 1848); but as Archbishop Trench truly observes, "the writer did not possess that command of the resources of the English language, which none more than Calderon requires." The Legend on which Calderon founded "El Magico Prodigioso" will be found in Surius, "De probatis Sanctorum historiis", t. V. (Col. Agr. 1574), p. 351: "Vita et Martyrium SS. Cypriani et Justinae, autore Simeone Metaphraste", and in Chapter cxlii, of the "Legenda Aurea" of Jacobus de Voragine "De Sancta Justina virgine". The martyrdom of the Saints took place in the year 290, and their festival is celebrated by the Church on the 26th of September. Mr. Ticknor in his History of Spanish Literature, 1863, volume ii. p. 369, says that the Wonder-working Magician is founded on "the same legend on which Milman has founded his 'Martyr of Antioch.'" This is a mistake of the learned writer. "The Martyr of Antioch" is founded not on the history of St. Justina but of Saint Margaret, as Milman himself expressly states. Chapter xciii., "De Sancta Margareta", in the "Legenda Aurea" of Jacobus de Voragine contains her story. The third translation in this volume is that of "The Purgatory of St. Patrick". This, though perhaps not so famous as the two preceding dramas, is intended to be given by Don P. De la Escosura, in a selection of Calderon's finest "comedias", now being edited by him for the Spanish Academy, as the representative piece of its class - namely, the mystical drama founded on the lives of Saints. Mr. Ticknor prefers it to the more celebrated "Devotion of the Cross," and says that it "is commonly ranked among the best religious plays of the Spanish theatre in the seventeenth century." In all that relates to the famous cave known through the middle ages as the "Purgatory of Saint Patrick", as well as the Story of Luis Enius - the Owain Miles of Ancient English poetry - Calderon was entirely indebted to the little volume published at Madrid, in 1627, by Juan Perez de Montalvan, entitled "Vida y Purgatorio de San Patricio". This singular work met with immense success. It went through innumerable editions, and continues to be reprinted in Spain as a chap-book, down to the present day. I have the fifth impression "improved and enlarged by the author himself," Madrid, 1628, the year after its first appearance: also a later edition, Madrid, 1664. As early as 1637 a French translation appeared at Brussels by "F. A. S. Chartreux, a Bruxelles." In 1642 a second French translation was published at Troyes, by "R. P. Francois Bouillon, de l'Ordre de S. Francois, et Bachelier de Theologie." Mr. Thomas Wright in his "Essay on St. Patrick's Purgatory," London, 1844, makes the singular mistake of supposing that Bouillon's "Histoire de la Vie et Purgatoire de S. Patrice" was founded on the drama of Calderon, it being simply a translation of Montalvan's "Vida y Purgatorio," from which, like itself, Calderon's play was derived. Among other translations of Montalvan's work may be mentioned one in Dutch (Brussels, 1668) and one in Portuguese (Lisbon, 1738). It was also translated into German and Italian, but I find no mention of an English version. For this reason I have thought that a few extracts might be interesting, as showing how closely Calderon adhered even to the language of his predecessor. In all that relates to the Purgatory, Montalvan's work is itself chiefly compiled from the "Florilegium Insulae Sanctorum, seu vitae et Actae sanctorum Hiberniae," Paris, 1624, fol. This work, which has now become scarce, was written by Thomas Messingham an Irish priest, the Superior of the Irish Seminary in Paris. No complete English version appears to have been made of it, but a small tract in English containing everything in the original work that referred to St. Patrick's Purgatory was published at Paris in 1718. As this tract is perhaps more scarce than even the Florilegium itself, the account of the Purgatory as given by Messingham from the MS. of Henry of Saltrey is reprinted in the notes to this drama in the quaint language of the anonymous translator. Of this tract, "printed at Paris in 1718" without the name of author, publisher or printer, I have not been able to trace another copy. In other points of interest connected with Calderon's drama, particularly to the clearing up of the difficulty hitherto felt as to the confused list of authorities at the end, the reader is also referred to the notes. The present version of "The Purgatory of Saint Patrick" is, with the exception of a few unimportant lines, an entirely new translation. It is made with the utmost care, imitating all the measures and contained, like the two preceding dramas, in the exact number of lines of the original. One passage of the translation which I published in 1853 is retained in the notes, as a tribute of respect to the memory of the late John Rutter Chorley, it having been mentioned with praise by that eminent Spanish scholar in an elaborate review of my earlier translations from Calderon, which appeared in the "Athenaeum", Nov. 19 and Nov. 26, 1853. It only remains to add that the text I have followed is that of Hartzenbusch in his edition of Calderon's Comedias, Madrid, 1856 ("Biblioteca de Autores Espanoles"). His arrangement of the scenes has been followed throughout, thus enabling the reader in a moment to verify for himself the exactness of the translation by a reference to the original, a crucial test which I rather invite than decline. CLAPHAM PARK, Easter, 1873. * * * * * THE WONDER-WORKING MAGICIAN. TO THE MEMORY OF SHELLEY, WHOSE ADMIRATION FOR "THE LIGHT AND ODOUR OF THE FLOWERY AND STARRY AUTOS" IS THE HIGHEST TRIBUTE TO THE BEAUTY OF CALDERON'S POETRY, THIS DRAMA IS INSCRIBED. * * * * * PERSONS. CYPRIAN. THE DEMON. LELIUS, The Governor of Antioch's Son. FLORUS, friend of Lelius. MOSCON, Servant of Cyprian. CLARIN, Servant of Cyprian. THE GOVERNOR OF ANTIOCH. FABIUS, his Servant. LYSANDER, the reputed Father of Justina. JUSTINA. LIVIA, her Maid. A Servant. A Soldier. ATTENDANTS, Soldiers, People. * * * * * SCENE - Antioch and its environs. THE WONDER-WORKING MAGICIAN. * * * * * ACT THE FIRST. SCENE I. A WOOD NEAR ANTIOCH. Enter CYPPRIAN in a Student's gown, followed by CLARIN and MOSCON, as poor Scholars, carrying books. CYPRIAN. In the pleasant solitude Of this tranquil spot, this thicket Formed of interlacing boughs, Buds, and flowers, and shrubs commingled, You may leave me, leaving also, As my best companions, with me, (For I need none else) those books Which I bad you to bring hither From the house; for while, to-day, Antioch, the mighty city, Celebrates with such rejoicing The great temple newly finished Unto Jupiter, the bearing Thither, also, of his image Publicly, in grant procession, To its shrine to be uplifted;- I, escaping the confusion Of the streets and squares, have flitted Hitherward, to spend in study What of daylight yet may glimmer. Go, enjoy the festival, Go to Antioch and mingle In its various sports, returning When the sun descending sinketh To be buried in the waves, Which, beneath the dark clouds' fringes, Round the royal corse of gold, Shine like sepulchres of silver. Here you'll find me. MOSCON. Sir, although Most decidedly my wish is To behold the sports, yet I Cannot go without a whisper Of some few five thousand words, Which I'll give you in a jiffy. Can it be that on a day Of such free, such unrestricted Revelry, and mirth, and fun, You with your old books come hither To this country place, rejecting All the frolic of the city? CLARIN. Well, I think my master's right; For there's nothing more insipid Than a grand procession day, Half fandangos, priests, and fiddles. MOSCON. Clarin, from the first to last, All your life you've been a trickster, A smart temporizing toady, A bold flatterer, a trimmer, Since you praise the thoughts of others, And ne'er speak your own. CLARIN. The civil Way to tell a man he lies Is to say he's wrong:- you twig me, Now I think I speak my mind. CYPRIAN. Moscon, Clarin, both I bid ye Cease this silly altercation. It is ever thus betwixt ye, Puffed up with your little knowledge Each maintains his own opinion. Go, and (as I've said) here seek me When night falls, and with the thickness Of its shadows veils from view This most fair and wondrous system Of the universe. MOSCON. How comes it, That although you have admitted 'Tis not right to see the feast, Yet you go to see it? CLARIN. Simple Is the answer: no one follows The advice which he has given To another. MOSCON [aside]. To see Livia, Would the gods that I were winged. [Exit. CLARIN [aside]. If the honest truth were told Livia is the girl that gives me Something worth the living for. Even her very name has in it This assurance: 'Livia', yes, Minus 'a', I live for 'Livi'.* [Exit. [footnote] *This, of course, is a paraphrase of the original, which, perhaps, may be given as an explanation. "Ilega, 'Livia'. Al 'na', y se, Livia, 'liviana'." * * * * * SCENE II. CYPRIAN. Now I am alone, and may, If my mind can be so lifted, Study the great problem which Keeps my soul disturbed, bewilder'd, Since I read in Pliny's page The mysterious words there written. Which define a god; because It doth seem beyond the limits Of my intellect to find One who all these signs exhibits. This mysterious hidden truth Must I seek for. [Reads. * * * * * SCENE III. Enter the DEMON, in gala dress. CYPRIAN. DEMON [aside]. Though thou givest All thy thoughts to the research, Cyprian, thou must ever miss it, Since I'll hide it from thy mind. CYPRIAN. There's a rustling in this thicket. Who is there? who art thou? DEMON. Sir, A mere stranger, who has ridden All this morning up and down These dark groves, not knowing whither, Having lost my way, my horse, To the emerald that encircles, With a tapestry of green, These lone hills, I've loosed, it gives him At the same time food and rest. I'm to Antioch bound, on business Of importance, my companions I have parted from; through listless Lapse of thought (a thing that happens To the most of earthly pilgrims), I have lost my way, and lost Comrades, servants, and assistants. CYPRIAN. I am much surprised to learn That in view of the uplifted Towers of Antioch, you thus Lost your way. There's not a single Path that on this mountain side, More or less by feet imprinted, But doth lead unto its walls, As to its one central limit. By whatever path you take, You'll go right. DEMON. It is an instance Of that ignorance which in sight Even of truth the true goal misses. And as it appears not wise Thus to enter a strange city Unattended and unknown, Asking even my way, 'tis fitter That 'till night doth conquer day, Here while light doth last, to linger; By your dress and by these books Round you, like a learned circle Of wise friends, I see you are A great student, and the instinct Of my soul doth ever draw me Unto men to books addicted. CYPRIAN. Have you studied much? DEMON. Well, no; But I've knowledge quite sufficient Not to be deemed ignorant. CYPRIAN. Then, what sciences know you? DEMON. Many. CYPRIAN. Why, we cannot reach even one After years of studious vigil, And can you (what vanity!) Without study know so many? DEMON. Yes; for I am of a country Where the most exalted science Needs no study to be known. CYPRIAN. Would I were a happy inmate Of that country! Here our studies Prove our ignorance more. DEMON. No figment Is the fact that without study, I had the superb ambition For the first Professor's chair To compete, and thought to win it, Having very numerous votes. And although I failed, sufficient Glory is it to have tried. For not always to the winner Is the fame. If this you doubt, Name the subject of your study, And then let us argue on it; I not knowing your opinion, Even although it be the right, Shall the opposite view insist on. CYPRIAN. I am greatly gratified That you make this proposition. Here in Plinius is a passage Which much anxious thought doth give me How to understand, to know Who's the God of whom he has written. DEMON. 'Tis that passage which declares (Well I know the words) this dictum: "God is one supremest good, One pure essence, one existence, Self-sustained, all sight, all hands." CYPRIAN. Yes, 'tis true. DEMON. And what is in it So abstruse? CYPRIAN. I cannot find Such a god as Plinius figures. If he be the highest good, Then is Jupiter deficient In that attribute; we see him Acting like a mortal sinner Many a time,- this, Danae, This, Europa, too, doth witness. Can then, by the Highest Good, All whose actions, all whose instincts, Should be sacred and divine, Human frailty be committed? DEMON. These are fables which the learned First made use of, to exhibit Underneath the names of gods What in truth was but a hidden System of philosophy. CYPRIAN. This reply is not sufficient, Since such awe is due to God, None should dare to Him attribute, None should stain His name with sins, Though these sins should be fictitious. And considering well the case, If the highest good is figured By the gods, of course, they must Will what is the best and fittest; How, then, can some gods wish one thing, Some another? This we witness In the dubious responses Which are by their statues given. Here you cannot say I speak of Learned abstractions of the ideal. To two armies, if two shrines Promise give of being victors, One, of course, must lose the battle: The conclusion is so simple,- Need I say it? that two wills, Mutually antagonistic, Cannot lead unto one end. They being thus in opposition, One we must consider good, One as bad we must consider. But an evil will in God Would imply a contradiction: Then the highest good can dwell not Among gods who know division. DEMON. I deny your major, since These responses may be given, By the oracles, for ends Which our intellectual vision Cannot reach: 'tis providence. Thus more good may have arisen To the loser in that battle Than its gain could bring the winner. CYPRIAN. Granted; but that god ought not, For the gods are not malicious, To have promised victory;- It would have been quite sufficient, Without this most false assurance, The defeat to have permitted. Then if God must be all sight, Every god should see distinctly With clear vision to the end; Seeing THAT, he erred in fixing On a false conclusion; then Though the deity may with fitness Be divided into persons, Yet His essence must be single In the smallest circumstance. DEMON. It was needful for this business, That the oracle should rouse The two hosts alike. CYPRIAN. If fitting, There were genii that could rouse them (Good and bad, as they're distinguished By the learned), who are, in fact, Spirits who among us mingle, And who good and evil acts, Evil thoughts, suggest and whisper, A convincing argument For the immortal soul's existence: Of these ministers could God Have made use, nor thus exhibit He was capable of a lie To effect his ends? DEMON. Consider, That these seeming contradictions Cannot our firm faith diminish In the oneness of the gods, If in things of higher import They know naught of dissonance. Take man's wondrous frame, for instance, Surely that majestic structure Once conception doth exhibit. CYPRIAN. If man's maker then were one He some vantage must have given him O'er the others; and if they All are equal,-'tis admitted That they are so, from the fact Of their mutual opposition To each other,- when the thought Of creating man was hinted By one god, another could Say, "No, no, I do not wish it." Then if God must be all hands, Time might come when they would differ, One creating, one undoing, Ere the other's work was finished, Since the power of each was equal, But unequal were their wishes. Which of these two powers would conquer? DEMON. On impossible and false issues There can be no argument;- But your premises admitting, Say what then? CYPRIAN. That there must be One sole God, all hands, all vision, Good Supreme, supreme in grace, One who cannot err, omniscient, One the highest, none can equal, Not beginning, yet the Beginner, One pure essence, one sole substance, One wise worker, ozone sole willer;- And though He in one or two Or more persons be distinguished, Yet the sovereign Deity Must be one, sublime and single, The first cause of every cause, The first germ of all existence. DEMON. How can I deny so clear, [They rise. So conclusive a position? CYPRIAN. Do you feel it? DEMON. Who would not Feel to find another quicker In the rivalry of wit?- And though I am not deficient In an answer, I restrain it, Hearing steps approaching hither Through the wood; besides 'tis time I proceeded to the city. CYPRIAN. Go in peace. DEMON. Remain in peace.- [Aside. So involved in study IS he, That I now must wean him from it, Weaving round him the bewitchment Of rare beauty. Since I have leave To attempt my fires to kindle In Justina's breast, one stroke, Thus, two vengeances shall give me. [Exit. CYPRIAN. Never saw I such a man. But since still my people linger, I, the cause of so much doubt, Will now strive to reconsider. [He resumes his reading, without perceiving the approach of those who enter. * * * * * SCENE IV. Enter LELIUS and FLORUS.- CYPRIAN. LELIUS. Further let us not proceed; For these rocks, these boughs so thickly Interwoven, that the sun Cannot even find admittance, Shall be the sole witnesses Of our duel. FLORUS. Then, this instant Draw your sword; for here are deeds, If in words elsewhere we've striven. LELIUS. Yes, I know that in the field, While the tongue is mute, the glitter Of the sword speaks thus. [They fight. CYPRIAN. What's this? Hold, good Florus! Lelius, listen!- Here until your rage is calmed, Even unarmed I stand betwixt ye. LELIUS. Thus to interrupt my vengeance, Whence, O Cyprian, have you risen Like a spectre? FLORUS. A wild wood-god, Have you from these tree-trunks issued? * * * * * SCENE V. Enter MOSCON and CLARIN. MOSCON. Yonder, where we left our master, I hear sword-strokes; run, run quickly. CLARIN. Well, except to run away, I am anything but nimble;- Truly a retiring person. MOSCON and CLARIN. Sir . . . . CYPRIAN. No more: your gabble irks me.- How? What's this? Two noble friends, Who in blood, in birth, in lineage, Are to-day of Antioch all Its expectancy, the city's Eye of fashion, one the son Of the Governor, of the princely House Colalto, one the heir, Thus to peril, as of little Value, two such precious lives To their country and their kindred? LELIUS. Cyprian, although respect Which on many grounds I give thee, Holds my sword suspended thus In due deference for an instant,- To the scabbard's calm repose It hath got no power to win it. Thou of science knowest more, Than the duel, pretermitting This, that when two nobles meet In the field, no power can link them Friends again, save this, that one Must his life give as a victim. FLORUS. This I also say, and ask thee, With thy people, that thou quittest, Leaving us to end our quarrel Without any help or hindrance. CYPRIAN. Though it seems to you my calling Makes me know the laws but little Of the duel - that strict code Valour and vain pride have written, You are wrong, for I was born With the obligations fitting Rank like yours, to know in truth Infamy and honour's limits. The devotion to my studies Has my courage not diminished, For they oftentimes shake hands Arms and letters as though kinsmen. If to meet here in the field Was the quarrel's first condition, Having met and fought, its lies Calumny can never whisper. And the cause you thus can tell me Of the feud that brings you hither; For I promise, if, on hearing What to me is thus committed, I perceive that satisfaction Must on either side be given, Here to leave you both alone, Unobserved by any witness. LELIUS. Then on this condition solely, That you leave us, when the bitter Truth is told, to end our quarrel, I to tell the cause am willing. I a certain lady love, The same lady as his mistress Florus also loves; now see, How incompatible are our wishes!- Since betwixt two jealous nobles No mediation is admitted. FLORUS. I this lady love so much, That the sunlight I would hinder From beholding her sweet face. Since then all interposition Is in vain, pray stand aside, And our quarrel let us finish. CYPRIAN. Stay, for one more thing I'd know. Tell me this of your fair mistress, Is she possible to your hopes, Or impossible to your wishes?- LELIUS. Oh: she is so good and wise, That if even the sun enkindled Jealousy in the heart of Florus, It was jealousy pure and simple, Without cause, for even the sun Dare not look upon her visage. CYPRIAN. Would you marry with her, then? FLORUS. This is all my heart's ambition. CYPRIAN. And would you? LELIUS. Ah, would to heaven, I were destined for such blisses!- For although she's very poor, Virtue dowers her with its riches. CYPRIAN. If you both aspire to wed her, Is it not an act most wicked, Most unworthy, thus beforehand Her unspotted fame to injure? What will say the world, if one Of you two shall marry with her After having killed the other For her sake? The supposition Is not probable in fact, To imagine it is sufficient. I by no means say you should Each your chances try to win her At one time, for I would blush Such a craven proposition Came from me, because the lover Who could keep his jealousy hidden, Would condone even shame thereafter, Were the opportunity given; But I say that you should learn Which of you it is your mistress Gives the preference to, then . . . . LELIUS. Stay!- For it were an act too timid, Too faint-hearted thus to ask Of a lady such admission As the choosing him or me. For if me she chose, more fixed Is my call for satisfaction; For his fault has this addition, He loves one who loves but me. If to him the choice is given, This intensifies my anger All the more, that she, my mistress, Whom I love, should love another. Her selection could do little In the matter, which at last To our swords should be committed,- The accepted for his honour, The refused for his dismissal. FLORUS. I confess that I adopt Altogether that opinion, Still the privilege of selection May to ladies be permitted; So to-day I mean to ask her Of her father. 'Tis sufficient To have come here to the field, And my naked sword uplifted, (Specially as one is by Who the further fight resisteth,) For my honour;- so to sheathe, Lelius, my sword I'm willing. [Sheathes his sword. LELIUS. By your argument and action, Florus, you have half convinced me; I forego the remaining half - True or false, I thus act with you. [Sheathes his sword. I to-day will seek her father. CYPRIAN. On, of course, the supposition, That this lady you pay court to Suffers naught by the admission, Since you both have spoken proudly Of her virtue and her strictness, Tell me who she is; for I, Who am held throughout the city In esteem, would for you both Speak to her at first a little That she thus may be prepared When her father tells your wishes. LELIUS. You are right. CYPRIAN. Her name? FLORUS. Justina, Daughter of Lysander. CYPRIAN. Little, Now that I have heard her name, Seem the praises you have given her; She is virtuous as she's noble. Instantly I'll pay my visit. FLORUS [aside]. May heaven grant that in my favour Her cold heart be moved to pity! [Exit. LELIUS. Love, my hopes with laurels crown When they are to her submitted! [Exit. CYPRIAN. Further mischief or misfortune, Grant me, heaven, that I may hinder! [Exit. * * * * * SCENE VI. MOSCON, CLARIN. MOSCON. Has your worship heard our master Now is gone to pay a visit To Justina? CLARIN. Yes, my lord. But what matter if he didn't? MOSCON. Matter quite enough, your worship; He has no business there. CLARIN. Why, prithee? MOSCON. Why? because I die for Livia, Who is maid to this Justina, And I wouldn't have even the sun Get a glimpse of her through the window. CLARIN. Well, that's good; but, for a lady, To contend were worse than silly, Whom I mean to make my wife. MOSCON. Excellent, faith! the fancy tickles Quite my fancy. Let her say Who it is that annoys or nicks her To a nicety. Let's go see her, And she'll choose. CLARIN. A good idea!- Though I fear she'll pitch on you. MOSCON. Have you then that wise suspicion? CLARIN. Yes; for always these same Livias Choose the worst, th'ungrateful minxes.* [Exeunt. [footnote] *The 'asonante' versification in 'i-e', which has been kept up through these six scenes, ends here. The seventh scene commences in rhymed five-line stanzas, which change to the asonante in e-e, at the beginning of Lysander's long speech. * * * * * SCENE VII. A HALL IN THE HOUSE OF LYSANDER. Enter JUSTINA and LYSANDER. JUSTINA. Consolation, sir, is vain, After what I've seen to-day: The whole city, madly gay, Error-blinded and insane, Consecrating shrine and fane To an image, which I know, Cannot be a god, although Some demoniac power may pass, Making breathe the silent brass As a proof that it is so. LYSANDER. Fair Justina, thou indeed, Wert not who thou art, if thou Didst not weep as thou dost now, Didst not in thy pure heart bleed For what Christ's divinest creed Suffers on this sinful day. JUSTINA. Thus my lineage I display:- For thy child I could not be, Could I without weeping see This idolatrous display. LYSANDER. Ah, my good, my gentle maid! Thou art not my daughter, no, 'Twere too happy, if 'twere so. But, O God! what's this I've said?- My life's secret is betrayed! 'Twas my soul that spoke aloud. JUSTINA. What do you say, sir? LYSANDER. Oh! a crowd Of old thoughts my heart hath stirred. JUSTINA. Many times methought I heard What but now you have avowed, And yet never wished to hear, At the risk perchance of paining, A more accurate explaining Of your sorrow and my fear; But since now it doth appear Right that I should be possess'd Of the whole truth half confess'd, Let me say, though bold appearing,- Trust your secret to my hearing, Since it hath escaped your breast. LYSANDER. Ah! Justina, I have long Kept this secret from your ears, Fearing from your tender years That the telling might be wrong; But now seeing you are strong, Firm in thought, in action brave, Seeing too, that with this stave, I go creeping o'er the ground, Rapping with a hollow sound At the portals of the grave, Knowing that my time is brief, I would not here leave you, no, In your ignorance; I owe My own peace, too, this relief: Then attentive to my grief Let your pleasure list. JUSTINA. A fear Struggles in my breast. LYSANDER. Severe Is the test my duty pays. JUSTINA. From this most perplexing maze Oh, sir, rescue me. LYSANDER. Then hear. I, most beautiful Justina, Am Lysander . . . . This commencement With my name need not surprise you; For though known to you already, It is right, for all that follows, That it should be well remembered, Since of me you know no more Than what this my name presenteth. Yes, I am Lysander, son Of that city which on Seven Hills a hydra seems of stone, Since it seven proud heads erecteth; Of that city now the seat Of the mighty Roman empire, Cradle of Christ's wider realm,- Boon that Rome alone could merit. There of poor and humble parents I was born, if "poor" expresses Well their rank who left behind them Virtues, not vain earthly treasures. Both of them by birth were Christians, Joyful both to be descended From brave sires who with their blood Happily life's page had reddened, Terminating the dull scroll With death's bright emblazoned letters. In the Christian faith well grounded I grew up, and so well learnt it, That I would, in its defence, Even a thousand lives surrender. I was young still, when to Rome, In disguise and ill attended, Came our good Pope Alexander, Who then prudently directed The high apostolic see, Though its place there was not settled; For, as the despotic power Of the stern and cruel gentiles Satisfies its thirst with blood From the martyrs' veins that shed it, So must still the primitive church Keep concealed its sons and servants; Not that they decline to die, Not that martyrdom is dreaded But that rebel rage should not, At one stroke, one hour of vengeance, Triumph o'er the ruined church, So that no one should be left it Who could preach and teach the word, Who could catechise the gentile. Alexander being in Rome, I was secretly presented To him there, and from his hand Which was graciously extended, With his blessing I received Holy Orders, which the seraphs Well might envy me, since man Only such an honour merits. Alexander, as my mission, Unto Antioch then sent me, Where the law of Christ in secret I should preach. With glad contentment I obeyed, and at their mercy, Through so many nations wending, Came at length to Antioch; And when I, these hills ascending, Saw beneath me in the valley All its golden towers and temples, The sun failed me, and down sinking Drew with him the day, presenting For my solace a companion, And a substitute for his presence In the light of stars, a pledge That he'd soon return to bless me. With the sun I lost my way, And then wandering dejected Through the windings of the forest, Found me in the dim recesses Of a natural bower, wherein Even the numerous rays that trembled Downward from each living torch Could in noways find an entrance, For to black clouds turned the leaves That by day were green with freshness. Here arranging to await The new sun's reviving presence, Giving fancy that full scope, That wide range which it possesses, I in solitude indulged Many and many a deep reflection. Thus absorbed was I in thought When there came to me the echo Of a sigh half heard, for half To its owner retroverted. Then collecting in mine ear All my senses joined together, I again heard more distinctly That weak cry, that faint expression, That mute idiom of the sad, Since by it they're comprehended. From a woman came that groan To whose sigh so low and gentle Followed a man's deeper voice, Who thus speaking low addressed her: "Thou first stain of noblest blood By my hands this moment perish, Ere thou meetest with thy death 'Neath the hands of infamous headsmen."- Then the hapless woman said In a voice that sobbed and trembled, "Ah, lament for thine own blood, But for me do not lament thee!"- I attempted then to reach them, That the stroke might be prevented, But I could not, since the voices At that moment ceased and ended, And a horseman rode away 'Mong the tree-trunks undetected. Loadstone of my deep compassion Was that voice which still exerted All its failing powers to speak Amid groans and tears this sentence,- "Dying innocent and a Christian I a martyr's death may merit."- Following the polar-star Of the voice, I came directly Where the gloom revealed a woman, Though I could not well observe her, Who in life's despairing struggle, Hand to hand with death contended. Scarcely was I heard, when she Summoning up her strength addressed me,- "Blood-stained murderer mine, come back, Nor in this last hour desert me Of my life." - "I am," said I, "Only one whom chance hath sent here, Guided it may be by heaven, To assist you in this dreadful Hour of trial." - "Vain," she said, "Is the favour that your mercy Offers to my life, for see, Drop by drop the life-stream ebbeth, Let this hapless one enjoy it, Who it seems that heaven intendeth, Being born upon my grave, All my miseries should inherit."- So she died, and then I . . . * * * * * SCENE VIII. LIVIA, JUSTINA, and LYSANDER. Enter LIVIA. LIVIA. Sir, The same tradesman who so presses To be paid, comes here to seek you, By the magistrate attended. That you were not in, I told him: By that door you have an exit. JUSTINA. This untimely interruption By their coming, how it frets me! For upon your tragic story Life, soul, reason, all depended!- But retire, sir, lest the justice Should here meet you, if he enters. LYSANDER. Ah! with what indignities Poverty must be contented! [Exit. JUSTINA. They are coming here, no doubt, Outside I can hear some persons. LIVIA. No, they are not they. I see It is Cyprian. JUSTINA. How? what sendeth Cyprian here? * * * * * SCENE IX. Enter CYPRIAN, CLARIN, and MOSCON. CYPRIAN. A wish to serve you Is the sole cause of my presence. For on seeing the officials Issuing from your house, the friendship Which I owe unto Lysander Made me bold herein to enter; But to know ([Aside.] Disturbed, bewildered Am I.) if by chance ([Aside.] What gelid Frost is freezing up my veins!) I in any way could help you. ([Aside.] Ah, how badly have I spoken!- Fire not frost my blood possesses!) JUSTINA. May heaven guard you many years, Since in his more grave concernments, Thus you honour my dear father With your favours. CYPRIAN. I shall ever Be most gratified to serve you. ([Aside.] What disturbs me, what unnerves me?) JUSTINA. He is not just now at home. CYPRIAN. Thus then, lady, I can better Tell you what is the true cause That doth bring me here at present; For the cause that you have heard Is not that which wholly led me Here to see you. JUSTINA. Then, what is it? CYPRIAN. This, which craves your brief attention.- Fair Justina, beauty's shrine,* To whose human loveliness Nature, with a fond excess, Adds such marks of the divine, 'Tis your rest that doth incline Hither my desire to-day: But see what the tyrant sway Of despotic fate can do,- While I bring your rest to you, You from me take mine away. Lelius, of his passion proud, (Never less was love to blame!) Florus, burning with love's flame, (Ne'er could flame be more allowed!) Each of them by vows they vowed Sought to kill his friend for you: I for you disturbed the two, (Woe is me!) but see the end; While from death I saved my friend, You my own death give in lieu. Lest the scandal-monger's hum Should be buzzed about your name, Here to speak with you I came, (Would that I had never come!) That your choice might strike it dumb, Being the umpire in the cause, Being the judge in love's sweet laws;- But behold what I endure, While I their sick hearts may cure, Jealousy mine own heart gnaws. Lady, I proposed to be Their bold spokesman here, that you Might decide betwixt the two Which you would select (ah, me!) That I might (oh, misery!) Ask you of your father: vain This pretence. No more I'll feign:- For you see while I am speaking About them, my heart is seeking But a vent for its own pain. [footnote] * The five-lined rhymed stanza here recommences, and continues to the end of the scene. JUSTINA. Half in wonder and dismay At the vile address you make me, Reason, speech, alike forsake me, And I know not what to say. Never in the slightest way Have your clients had from me Encouragement for this embassy - Florus never - Lelius no:- Of the scorn that I can show Let then this a warning be. CYPRIAN. If I, knowing that you loved Some one else, would dare to seek Your regard, my love were weak, And could justly be reproved. But here seeing you stand unmoved, Like a rock mid raging seas, No extraneous miseries Make me say I love you now. 'Tis not for my friends I bow, So your warning hear with ease. - To Lelius what shall I say? JUSTINA. That he Well may trust the boding fears Of his love of many years. CYPRIAN. To Florus? JUSTINA. Not my face to see. CYPRIAN. And to myself? JUSTINA. Your love should be Not so bold. CYPRIAN. Though a god should woo? JUSTINA. Will a god do more for you Than for those I have denied? CYPRIAN. Yes. JUSTINA. Well then, I have replied To Lelius, Florus, and to you. [Exeunt JUSTINA and CYPRIAN at opposite sides. * * * * * SCENE X. CLARIN, MOSCON, and LIVIA. CLARIN. Livia, heigh! MOSCON. And Livia, ho!- List good lass. CLARIN. We're here, we two. LIVIA. Well, what WANT you, sir? and YOU, What do you want? CLARIN. We both would show, If perchance you do not know, That we love you to distraction. On a murderous transaction We came here, to kill each other:- So to put an end to the bother, Just choose one for satisfaction. LIVIA. Why the thing that you're demanding Is so great, it hath bereft me Of my wits. My grief hath left me Without sense or understanding. Choose but one! My heart expanding, Beats so hard a strait to shun! I one only! 'Tis for fun That you ask me so to do. For with heart enough for two, Why require that I choose one? CLARIN. Two at once would you have to woo? Would not two embarrass you, pray? LIVIA. No, we women have a way To dispose of them two by two. MOSCON. What's the way? do tell us, do;- What is it? speak. LIVIA. You put one out!- I would love them, do not doubt . . . . MOSCON. How? LIVIA. ALTERNATIVELY. CLARIN. Eh, What's ALTERNATIVELY? LIVIA. 'Tis to say, That I would love them day about. [Exit. MOSCON. Well, I choose to-day: good-bye. CLARIN. I, to-morrow, the better part. So I give it with all my heart. MOSCON. Livia, in fine, for whom I die, To-day love me, and to-day love I. Happy is he who so much can say. CLARIN. Hearken, my friend: you know my way. MOSCON. Why this speech? Does a threat lie in it? CLARIN. Mind, she is not yours a minute After the clock strikes twelve to-day. [Exeunt. * * * * * SCENE XI. THE STREET BEFORE LYSANDER'S HOUSE: NIGHT Enter FLORUS and LELIUS at opposite sides, not seeing each other. LELIUS [aside]. Scarcely has the darksome night O'er the brow of heaven extended* Its black veil, when I come hither To adore this sacred threshold; For although at Cyprian's prayer, I my sharp sword have suspended, I have not my love, for love Cannot be suspended ever. [footnote] *Asonante in e-e, to the end of the Act. FLORUS [aside]. Here the dawn will find me waiting:- Here, because 'tis force compels me To go hence, for I, elsewhere, Am away from my true centre. Would to love the day had come, And with it the dear, expected Answer Cyprian may bring me, Risking all upon that venture. LELIUS [aside]. I have surely in that window Heard a noise. FLORUS [aside]. Some sound descends here From that balcony. * * * * * SCENE XII. The Demon appears at a window in the house of LYSANDER. LELIUS [aside]. A figure Issues from it, whose dim presence I distinguish. FLORUS [aside]. Through the darkness I can there perceive some person. DEMON [aside]. For the many persecutions O'er Justina's head impending, Her pure honour to defame Thus I make a bold commencement. [He descends by a ladder. LELIUS [aside]. But, O woe! what's this I witness!- FLORUS [aside]. What do I see! Oh, wretched! wretched!- LELIUS [aside]. From the balcony to the ground The dark figure has descended. FLORUS [aside]. From her house a man comes forth!- Jealousy kill me not, preserve me, 'Till I discover who he is. LELIUS [aside]. I will try to intercept him And find out at once who thus Tastes the bliss I've lost for ever. [They advance with drawn swords to recognise the person who has descended. DEMON [aside]. Not alone Justina's fame Do I by this act discredit, But dissensions, perhaps murders, Thus provoke. Ope, earth's dark centre, And receive me, leaving here This confusion [He disappears between FLORUS and LELIUS, who meet together. * * * * * SCENE XIII. FLORUS and LELIUS. LELIUS. Sir, whoever You may be, it doth import me To know who you are directly; So at every risk I come here, On this resolute quest determined. Say who are you. FLORUS. If the accident Of my having been the observer Of your secret love, compels you To this valorous aggression, More than it can you concern Me to know, it doth concern me To know you; for to be curious Is far less than to be jealous. Yes, by Heaven! for who is master Of the house have I to learn here, Who it is at such an hour, By this balcony ascending, Gaineth that which I lose weeping At these gratings. LELIUS. This excelleth, Good, in faith, is it thus to dim The clear light of my resentment, By attributing to me That which solely your offence is!- Who you are I have to know, Death to give to him who has left me Dead with jealousy here, by coming From this balcony. FLORUS. How excessive How superfluous is this caution, Proving what it would dissemble! LELIUS. Vainly would the tongue untangle That which the keen sword can better Thus cut through. FLORUS. With it I answer. [They fight. LELIUS. In this way I'll know for certain Who is the admitted lover Of Justina. FLORUS. My intention Is the same. I'll die or know you. * * * * * SCENE XIV. Enter CYPRIAN, MOSCON, and CLARIN. CYPRIAN. Gentlemen, I pray you let me Interpose in this your quarrel, Since by accident I am present. FLORUS. You cannot oblige me more Than by letting the fight be ended. CYPRIAN. Florus? FLORUS. Yes, for sword in hand, I my name deny not ever To who asks. CYPRIAN. I'm at your side, Death to him who would offend you. LELIUS. You produce in me less fear, Both of you thus joined together, Than did he alone. CYPRIAN. What! Lelius? LELIUS. Yes. CYPRIAN. I am prevented [To Florus. Now from standing at your side, Since between you I present me. How is this? In one day twice Have I your disputes to settle!- LELIUS. Then this time will be the last, For we've settled them already; Since in knowing who is he Who Justina's heart possesses, Now no more my hope remaineth, Even the thought of it hath left me. If you have not to Justina Spoken yet, do not address her; This I ask you in the name Of my wrongs and my resentments, Having seen her secret favours Florus' happier fate deserveth. From this balcony I saw him, From my lost delight descending; And my heart is not so base As to meanly love, in presence Of such jealousies so well proved, Of disillusions, ah! so certain. [Exit. FLORUS. Stay. * * * * * SCENE XV. CYPRIAN. You must not follow him, [Aside. (Oh, this news with death o'erwhelms me!) Since if he who is the loser Of what you have gained, expressly Says he would forget it, you Should not try his patient temper. FLORUS. Both by you and him at once Has mine own been too well tested. Speak not now unto Justina About me; for though full vengeance I propose to take for being Thus supplanted and rejected, Every hope of her being mine Now has ceased, for shameful were it, In the face of such proved facts, To persist in my addresses. [Exit. * * * * * SCENE XVI. CYPRIAN, MOSCON, and CLARIN. CYPRIAN [aside]. What is this, O heavens! I hear? Can it be the two are jealous Of each other at one time? And I too of both together?- Doubtless from some strange delusion The two suffer, which I welcome With a sort of satisfaction, For to it I am indebted For the fact of their desisting From their suit and their pretension.- Moscon, have for me by morning A rich court-suit; sword and feathers, Clarin, be thy care; for love In a certain airy splendour Takes delight; for now no longer Books or studies give me pleasure;- Love they say doth murder mind, Learning dies when he is present. [Exeunt. ACT THE SECOND. SCENE I. THE STREET IN FRONT OF LYSANDER'S HOUSE. Enter CYPRIAN, MOSCON, and CLARIN, in gala dresses. CYPRIAN [aside]. Where, presumptuous thoughts, ah! where, Would you lead me, whither go? If for certain now you know That the high attempts you dare Are delusive dreams of bliss, Since you strive to scale heaven's wall, But from that proud height to fall Headlong down a dark abyss? I Justina saw . . . . . So near Would to God I had not seen her, Nor in her divine demeanour All the light of heaven's fourth sphere. Lovers twain for her contend, Both being jealous each should woo, And I, jealous of the two, Know not which doth most offend. All I know is, that suspicion, Her disdain, my own desires, Fill my heart with furious fires - Drive me, ah! to my perdition. This I know, and know no more, This I feel in all my strait; Heavens! Justina is my fate! Heavens! Justina I adore!- Moscon. MOSCON. Sir. CYPRIAN. Inquire, I pray, If Lysander's in. MOSCON. I fly. CLARIN. No, sir, no. On me rely,- Moscon can't go there to-day. CYPRIAN. Ever wrangling in this way, How ye both my patience try! Why can he not go? Say why? CLARIN. Because to-day is not his day. Mine it is, sir, to his sorrow. So your message I will bear. Moscon can't to-day go there; He will have his turn to-morrow. CYPRIAN. What new madness can this be Which your usual feud doth show? But now neither of you go, Since in all her brilliancy Comes Justina. CLARIN. From the street To her house she goes. * * * * * SCENE II. Enter JUSTINA and LIVIA, veiled. - CYPRIAN, MOSCON, and CLARIN. JUSTINA. Ah, me! Cyprian's here. [Aside to her.] See, Livia, see! CYPRIAN [aside]. I must strive and be discreet, Feigning with a ready wit, Till my jealousy I can prove. I will only speak of love, If my jealousy will permit. Not in vain, senora sweet,- Have I changed my student's dress, The livery of thy loveliness, As a servant at thy feet, Thus I wear. If sighs could move thee I would labour to deserve thee; Give me leave at least to serve thee, Since thou wilt not let me love thee. JUSTINA. Slight effect, sir, as I see, Have my words produced on you, Since they have not brought . . . . CYPRIAN. Too true! JUSTINA. A forgetfulness of me. In what way must I explain Clearer than I have done before, That persistence at my door Is and ever must be vain? If a day, a month, a year, If for ages there you stay, Naught but this that now I say Ever can you hope to hear. As it were my latest breath, Let this sad assurance move thee,- Fate forbids that I should love thee, Cyprian, except in death. [She moves towards the house. CYPRIAN. At these words my hopes revive:- Sad! no, no, to joy they move me, For if thou in death canst love me, Soon for me will death arrive. Be it so; and since so nigh Comes the hour your words to prove - Ah! even now begin to love, Since I now begin to die. [JUSTINA enters. * * * * * SCENE III. CYPRIAN, MOSCON, CLARIN, and LIVIA. CLARIN. Livia, while my master yonder, Like a living skeleton, Life and motion being gone, On his luckless love doth ponder, Give me an embrace. LIVIA. Stay, stay. Patience, man! until I see, For I like my conscience free, If to-day is your right day.- Tuesday, yes, and Wednesday, no. CLARIN. What are you counting there? Awake! Moscon's mum. LIVIA. He might mistake, And I wish not to act so. For, desiring to pursue A just course betwixt you both, Turn about, I would be loth Not to give you each his due. But I see that you are right, 'Tis your day. CLARIN. Embrace me, then. LIVIA. Yes, again, and yet again. MOSCON. Hark to me, my lady bright, May I from your ardour borrow A good omen in my case; And as Clarin you embrace, Moscon you'll embrace to-morrow! LIVIA. Your suspicion is, in fact, Quite absurd; on me rely. Jupiter forbid that I Should commit so bad an act As to be cool in any way To a friend. I will to thee Give an embrace in equity, When it is your worship's day. [Exit. * * * * * SCENE IV. CYPRIAN, MOSCON, and CLARIN. CLARIN. Well, I'll not be by to see, That's a comfort. MOSCON. How? why so? Need I be chagrined to know, If the girl's not mine, that she Thus to you her debt did pay. CLARIN. No. MOSCON. This makes my point more strong, Since to me it were no wrong If it chanced not on my day. But our master yonder, see, How absorbed he seems. CLARIN. More near, If he speaks I'd like to hear. MOSCON. And I, too, would like. CYPRIAN. Ah me! [As MOSCON and CLARIN approach CYPRIAN from opposite sides, he gesticulates with his arms, and accidentally strikes both. Love, how great thy agonies!- CLARIN. Ah! ah, me! MOSCON. Ah, me! I bawl. CLARIN. Well, I think that we may call This the land of the 'sigh-ah-mes'! CYPRIAN. What! and have you both been here? CLARIN. I, at least, was here, I'll swear. MOSCON. And I, also. CYPRIAN. O, despair End at once my sad career! Ah, what human heart to woe Like to mine has given a home? * * * * * SCENE V. THE COUNTRY. CYPRIAN, CLARIN, and MOSCON. CLARIN. Whither Moscon, do we roam? MOSCON. When we've reached the end, we'll know. Leagues behind us lies the town, Still we go. CLARIN. A strange proceeding!- Little time have we for reading, Idly pacing up and down. CYPRIAN. Clarin, get thee home. MOSCON. And I? CLARIN. Sly-boots, would you rather stay? CYPRIAN. Go: here leave me both; away! CLARIN. Mind, he tells us both to fly. [Exeunt CLARIN and MOSCON. * * * * * SCENE VI. CYPRIAN. Memory of a maddened brain, Do not with such strong control Make me think another soul Is what in my heart doth reign. Blind idolator I have been - Lost in love's ambitious flight, Since such beauty met my sight, Since a goddess I have seen. Yet in such a maze of woe Rigorous fate doth make me move, That I know but whom I love, And of whom I am jealous - no. Yet this passion is so strong - Ah, so sweet this fascination, Driving my imagination With resistless force along - That I would (I know too well How this madness doth degrade me) To some devilish power to aid me, Were it even to rise from hell, Where some mightier power hath kept it,- Sharing all its pains in common,- I would, to possess this woman, Give my soul. * * * * * SCENE VII. The Demon and CYPRIAN. Demon [within]. And I accept it. [A great tempest is heard, with thunder and lightning. CYPRIAN. What's this, ye heavens so pure? Clear but a moment hence and now obscure, Ye fright the gentle day! The thunder-balls, the lightning's forked ray, Leap from its riven breast - Terrific shapes it cannot keep at rest; All the whole heaven a crown of clouds doth wear, And with the curling mist, like streaming hair, This mountain's brow is bound. Outspread below, the whole horizon round Is one volcanic pyre. The sun is dead, the air is smoke, heaven fire. Philosophy, how far from thee I stray, When I cannot explain the marvels of this day! And now the sea, upborne on clouds the while, Seems like some ruined pile, That crumbling down the wind as 'twere a wall, In dust not foam doth fall. And struggling through the gloom, Facing the storm, a mighty ship seeks room On the open sea, whose rage it seems to court, Flying the dangerous pity of the port. The noise, the terror, and that fearful cry, Give fatal augury Of the impending stroke. Death hesitates, For each already dies who death awaits. With portents the whole atmosphere is rife, Nor is it all the effect of elemental strife. The ship is rigged with tempest as it flies.* It rushes on the lee, The war is now no longer of the sea; Upon a hidden rock It strikes: it breaks as with a thunder shock. Blood flakes the foam where helpless it is tost. [footnote] *Hartzenbusch remarks that there is no corresponding rhyme for this line in the original, and that both the sense and the versification are defective. -'Comedias de Calderon', t. 2, p. 178. [The sound of the tempest increases, and voices are heard within. VOICES WITHIN. We sink! we sink! we're lost! DEMON [within]. For what I have in hand, I'll trust this plank to bear me to the land. CYPRIAN. As scorning the wild wave One man alone his life attempts to save. While lurching over, mid the billows' swell, The great ship sinks to where the Tritons dwell; There, with its mighty ribs asunder rent, It lies a corse of the sea, its grave and monument. [Enter The Demon, dripping with wet, as if escaped from the sea. DEMON [aside]. For the end I wish to gain It was of necessity That upon this sapphire sea I this fearful storm should feign, And in form unlike that one Which in this wild wood I wore, When I found my deepest lore By his keener wit outdone, Come again to assail him here, Trusting better now to prove Both his intellect and his love.- [Aloud. Earth, loved earth, O mother dear, From this monster, this wild sea, Give me shelter in thy arms. CYPRIAN. Lose, my friend, the dread alarms, And the cruel memory Of thy peril happily past; Since we learn or late or soon, That beneath the inconstant moon Human bliss doth never last. DEMON. Who are thou, at whose kind feet Has my fortune cast me here? CYPRIAN. One who with a pitying tear, For a ruin so complete, Would alleviate your woe. DEMON. Ah, impossible!- for me Never, never, can there be Any solace. CYPRIAN. How, why so? DEMON. All my priceless wealth I've lost . . . But I'm wrong to thus complain, I'll forget, nay, think it gain, Since my life it hath not cost. CYPRIAN. Now that the wild whirl malign Of this earthquake storm doth cease, And the sky returns to peace, Quiet, calm, and crystalline, And the bright succeeds the dark With such strange rapidity, That the storm would seem to be Only raised to sink thy bark, Tell me who thou art, repay Thus a sympathy so sincere. DEMON. It has cost me to come here More than you have seen to-day, More than I can well express; Of the miseries I recall This ship's loss is least of all. Would you see that clearly? CYPRIAN. Yes. DEMON. I am since you wish to know it, An epitome, a wonder* Of all happiness and misfortune, One I have lost, I weep the other. By my gifts was I so glorious, So conspicuous in my order, Of a lineage so illustrious, With a mind so well informed, That my rare endowments feeling, A great king (in truth the noblest King of Kings, for all would tremble If he looked in anger on them,) In his palace roofed with diamonds And with gems as bright as morning, (If I called them stars, 'tis certain The comparison were too modest,) His especial favourite called me. Which high epithet of honour So enflamed my pride, as rival For his royal seat I plotted, Hoping soon my victor footsteps Would his golden thrones have trodden. It was an unheard-of daring, THAT, chastized I must acknowledge, I was mad; but then repentance Were a still insaner folly. Obstinate in my resistance, With my spirit yet unconquered, I preferred to fall with courage Than surrender with dishonour. If the attempt was rash, the rashness Was not solely my misfortune, For among his numerous vassals Not a few my standard followed. From his court, in fine, thus vanquished, Though part victor in the contest, I went forth, my eyes outflashing Flames of anger and abhorrence, And my lips proclaiming vengeance For the public insult offered To my pride, among his people Scattering murder, rapine, horror. Then a bloody pirate, I The wide plains of the sea ran over, Argus of its dangerous shallows, Lynx-eyed where the reefs lay covered; In that vessel which the wind Bit by bit so soon demolished, In that vessel which the sea As a dustless ruin swallowed, I to-day these fields of crystal Eagerly ran o'er, my object Being stone by stone to examine, Tree by tree to search this forest:- For a man in it is living, Whom it is of great importance I should see, this day expecting The fulfilment of a promise Which he gave and I accepted. This infuriate tempest stopped me. And although my powerful genius Could chain up east, south, and north wind, I cared not, as if despairing Of success, with other objects, Other aims in view, to turn them To the west wind's summer softness.- [Aside. (I have said I could, but did not, For I note the dangerous workings Of his mind, and thus to magic Bind him by these hints the stronger.) Let not my wild fury fright thee, Nor be at my power astonished, For I could my own death give me, If I were by rage so prompted, And so great that power, the sunlight, By my science could be blotted. I, in magic am so mighty, That I can describe the orbits Of the stars, for I have travelled Through the farthest and beyond them. And in order that this boasting May not seem to you mere bombast, Look, if at this very instant You desire it, this untrodden Nimrod of rude rocks more savage Than of Babylon is recorded, Shall without a leaf being shaken, Show the most horrific portents. I am, then, the orphan guest here Of these ash-trees, of these poplars, And though what I am, assistance At thy feet here I ask from thee: And I wish the good I purchase To repay thee with the product Of unnumbered years of study, Though it now slight effort costs me, Giving to your wildest wishes [Aside. (Here I touch his love,) the fondest Longings of your heart, whatever Passion can desire or covet. If through courtesy or caution You should not accept my offer, Let my good intentions pay you, If from greater acts you stop me. For the pity that you show me, Which I thankfully acknowledge, I will be a friend so faithful, That henceforth the changeful monster Of events and acts, called Fortune, Which 'twixt flattering words and scornful, Generous now, and now a miser, Shows a friendly face or hostile, Neither it nor that laborious Ever flying, running worker, Time, the loadstone of the ages, Nor even heaven itself, heaven proper, To whose stars the dark world oweth All its most divine adornment, Will have power to separate me From your side a single moment, Since you here have given me welcome. And even this is almost nothing When compared with what my wishes Hope hereafter to accomplish. [footnote] *Asonante in 1-3, to the end of the speech. CYPRIAN. Well to the sea, my thanks are due, that bore You struggling to the shore, And led you to this grove, Where you will quickly prove The friendly feelings that inflame my breast, If happily I merit such a guest. Then let us homeward wend, For I esteem you now as an old friend. My guest you are, and so you must not leave me While my house suits you. DEMON. Do you then receive me Wholly as yours? CYPRIAN [embracing him]. This act doth prove it true, That seals an eternal bond betwixt us two.- [Aside. Oh! if I could win o'er This man to instruct me in his magic lore! Since by that art my love might gain Some solace for its pain; Or yielding to its mighty laws My love at length might win my love's sweet cause - The cause of all my torment, madness, rage. DEMON [aside]. The working of his mind and love I gauge. * * * * * SCENE VIII. CLARIN and MOSCON enter running from opposite sides. CYPRIAN and The Demon. CLARIN. Oh! are you sir, alive? MOSCON. My friend, do you Speak civilly for once as something new? That he's alive requires no demonstration. CLARIN. I struck this lofty note of admiration, Thou noble lackey, to express my wonder, How from this storm of lightning, rain, and thunder, Without a miracle he could survive. MOSCON. Will you stop wondering, now you see him alive? CYPRIAN. These are my servants, sir.- What brings you here? MOSCON. Your spleen once more to stir. DEMON. They have a pleasant humour. CYPRIAN. Foolish pair, Their weary wit is oft too hard to bear. MOSCON. This man, sir, waiting here, Who is he? CYPRIAN. He's my guest, so do not fear. CLARIN. Wherefore have guests at such a time as this? CYPRIAN [to The Demon]. Your worth is lost on ignorance such as his. MOSCON. My master's right. Are you, forsooth, his heir? CLARIN. No; but our new friend there, Looks like a guest, unless I deceive me, who Will honour our poor house a year or two. MOSCON. Why? CLARIN. When a guest soon means to go away, Well, he'll not make much smoke in the house, we say. But this . . . . MOSCON. Speak out. CLARIN. Will make, I do not joke . . MOSCON. What? CLARIN. In the house a deuced deal of smoke. CYPRIAN. In order to repair The danger done by the rude sea and air, Come thou with me. DEMON. [Aside.] I'm thine, while thou hast breath. CYPRIAN. I go to prepare thy rest. DEMON [aside]. And I thy death:- An entrance having gained Within his breast, and thus my end obtained; My rage insatiate now without control Seeks by another way to win Justina's soul. [Exit. CLARIN. Guess, if you can, what I am thinking about. MOSCON. What is it? CLARIN. That a new volcano has burst out In the late storm, there's such a sulphur smell. MOSCON. It came from the guest, as my good nose could tell. CLARIN. He uses bad pastilles, then; but I can Infer the cause. MOSCON. What is it? CLARIN. The poor gentleman Has a slight rash on his skin, a ticklish glow, And uses sulphur ointment. MOSCON. Gad! 'tis so. [Exeunt. * * * * * SCENE IX. THE STREET. LELIUS and FABIUS. FABIUS. You return, then, to this street. LELIUS. Yes; the life that I deplore I return to seek once more Where 'twas lost. Ah! guide my feet, Love, to find it!- FABIUS. That house there Is Justina's; come away. LELIUS. Wherefore, when I will to-day Once again my love declare. And as she, I saw it plain, Trusted some one else at night, 'Tis not strange, in open light, That I try to soothe my pain. Leave me, go; for it is best That I enter here alone. My rank in Antioch is known, My father Governor; thus drest In his robe as 'twere, my strong Passion listening to no mentor, I Justina's house will enter To protest against my wrong. [Exeunt. * * * * * SCENE X. A HALL IN THE HOUSE OF LYSANDER. JUSTINA, and afterwards LELIUS. JUSTINA. Livia . . . . But a step! who's there? [LELIUS enters LELIUS. It is I. JUSTINA. What novelty, What extreme temerity, Thus, my lord, compels you? . . . LELIUS. Spare Your reproaches. Jealous-grown, I can bear that you reprove. Pardon me, for with my love My respect has also flown. JUSTINA. Why, at such a perilous cost Have you dared . . . LELIUS. Because I'm mad. JUSTINA. To intrude . . . . LELIUS. Heart-broken, sad. JUSTINA. Here . . . . LELIUS. Because, in truth, I'm lost. JUSTINA. Nor perceive how scandal views Such an act as now you do 'Gainst . . . . LELIUS. Be not so moved, for you Little honour now can lose. JUSTINA. Lelius, spare at least my fame. LELIUS. Ah, Justina, it were best That this language you addressed Unto him who nightly came Down here from this balcony;- 'Tis enough for me to show All your lightness that I know, That less coy and cold to me Your pretended honour prove. If I am disdained, displaced, 'Tis another suits your taste, Not that you your honour love. JUSTINA. Silence, cease, your words withhold. Who with insult e'er before Dared to pass my threshold's door? Are you then so blind and bold, So audacious, so insane, As my pure light to eclipse, Through the libel of your lips, By chimeras false and vain?- In my house a man? LELIUS. 'Tis so. JUSTINA. From my balcony? LELIUS. With shame I repeat it. JUSTINA. O, my fame, O'er us twain your Aegis throw. * * * * * SCENE XI. THE SAME. The Demon appears at the door which is behind JUSTINA. DEMON [aside]. For the deep design I handle, For my double plot I come Raging to this simple home, Now to work the greatest scandal Ever seen. Here, brooding o'er him, This wild lover mad with ire, I will fan his jealous fire, I will place myself before him, Catch his eye, and then as fleeing, In invisible gloom array me. [He affects to come in, and being seen by LELIUS muffles himself in his cloak, and re-enters the inner apartment. JUSTINA. Man, do you come here to slay me? LELIUS. No, to die. JUSTINA. What object seeing Paralyses thus your senses? LELIUS. What I see is your untruth. Tell me now, the wish, forsooth, Has invented my offences. From that very chamber there Came a man, I turned my head, When he saw my face he fled Back into the room. JUSTINA. The air Must this phantasy display - This illusion. LELIUS. Oh, that sight! JUSTINA. Is it not enough by night, Lelius, but in open day Thus fictitious forms to see? LELIUS. Phantom shape or real lover, Now the truth I will discover. [He goes into the room where The Demon had disappeared. JUSTINA. I no hindrance offer thee, For my innocence, a way, At the cost of this permission, Thus finds out the night's submission To correct by the light of day. * * * * * SCENE XII. LYSANDER and JUSTINA; LELIUS, within. LYSANDER. My Justina. JUSTINA [aside]. Woe is me! Ah, if here before Lysander* Lelius from that room comes forth! [footnote] *Asonante in a-i to the end of Scene XVII. LYSANDER. My misfortunes, my disasters Fly to be consoled by thee. JUSTINA. What can be the grief, the sadness, That your face betrays so plainly? LYSANDER. And no wonder, when the pallor Springs even from the heart. This sobbing Stops my weak words in their passage. [LELIUS appears at the door of the apartment. LELIUS [aside]. I begin now to believe, Since he is not in this chamber, Jealousy can cause these spectres. He, the man I saw, has vanished, How I know not. JUSTINA [aside to Lelius]. Come not forth, Lelius, here before my father. LELIUS. Convalescent in my sickness I will wait till he is absent. [Retires. JUSTINA. Why this weeping? why this sighing? What, sir, moves thee, what unmans thee? LYSANDER. I am moved by a misfortune, I'm unmanned by a disaster, Greater far than tender pity Ever wept,- the dread example Cruelty has sworn to make In the innocent blood of martyrs. To the Governor of this city Decius Caesar a strict mandate Has despatched . . . I can speak no more. JUSTINA [aside]. What position e'er was harder? Moved with pity for the Christians Hither comes to me Lysander The sad news to tell, not knowing Lelius to his words may hearken,- Lelius, the Governor's son. LYSANDER. So Justina . . . JUSTINA. Sir, no farther, Since you feel it so acutely, Speak upon this painful matter. LYSANDER. Let me, for I'll feel some solace When to thee it is imparted. In it he commands . . . JUSTINA. Proceed not Further now, when you should rather Cheat your years with more repose. LYSANDER. How? when I, to make you partner In those lively fears whose bodings Are sufficient to despatch me, Would inform you of the edict, The most cruel that the margin Of the Tiber ever saw Writ in blood to stain its waters, Do you stop me? Ah, Justina, You were wont in another manner Once to listen to me. JUSTINA. Sir, Different were the circumstances. LELIUS [at the door, aside]. I can hear but indistinctly Half-formed words and broken accents. * * * * * SCENE XIII. FLORUS enters. - JUSTINA and LYSANDER; LELIUS, peeping at the door of the inner room. FLORUS [aside]. Licence has a jealous lover, Who but enters to unmask here A pretended purity, To forego politer manners. I come here with that intention . . . But as she is with her father I will wait a new occasion. LYSANDER. Who is there? Some footstep passes. FLORUS [aside]. Ah! 'tis now impossible Without speaking to get back here. Some excuse I'll try to offer:- I am . . . LYSANDER. You here, sir? FLORUS. Your pardon. I ask leave, sir, to speak with you On a most important matter. JUSTINA [aside]. Oh! take pity on me, fortune, For these trials are too many. LYSANDER. Well, sir, speak. FLORUS [aside, at the door]. Florus in Justina's house Leaves and enters like a master!- These are not unfounded jealousies, These are real and substantial. LYSANDER. You grow pale, you change your colour. FLORUS. Do not wonder, be not startled, For I came to give a warning, To your life of utmost value, Of an enemy that you have, Who your swift destruction planneth. What I've said is quite sufficient. LYSANDER [aside]. Florus, doubtless, must have gathered Somehow that I am a Christian, And thus comes in kindliest manner Of my danger to apprise me.- [Aloud. Speak, hide nothing in this matter. * * * * * SCENE XIV. LIVIA enters. - JUSTINA, LYSANDER, and FLORUS; LELIUS at the door of the room. LIVIA. Sir, the Governor, who is waiting At the door of the house, commanded Me to call you to his presence. FLORUS. Best I wait for his departure:- [Aside. (Meantime my excuse I'll think of.) So 'tis well that you despatch him. LYSANDER. I appreciate your politeness. Here I will return instanter. [Exeunt LYSANDER and LIVIA. * * * * * SCENE XV. JUSTINA and FLORUS; LELIUS at the door. FLORUS. Are you then that virtuous maiden, Who, the very breeze that flatters With its soft and sweet caresses, You would call rude, bold, unmannered? How then is it you surrendered Even the very keys of the casket Of your honour? JUSTINA. Hold, hold, Florus, Do not dare to throw a shadow On that honour which the sun After the most strict examen Has proved bright and pure. FLORUS. Too late Comes this idle boast. It happens That I know to whom you have given Free access . . . JUSTINA. You dare this scandal?- FLORUS. By a balcony . . . JUSTINA. Do not say it. FLORUS. To your honour. JUSTINA. Thus will you blast me? FLORUS. Yes, for hypocritical virtue Merits something even harsher. LELIUS [at the door, aside]. Florus was not then the hero Of the balcony; some more happy Lover than us twain she welcomes. JUSTINA. Oh! defame not noble damsels, Since you noble blood inherit. FLORUS. Noble damsel, dar'st thou call thee, When thy very arms received him, And from thy balcony he departed? Power subdued thee; from the fact That the Governor is his father, Vanity led thee on to show That in Antioch he commanded . . . LELIUS [aside]. Here he speaks of me. FLORUS. Not seeing Any graver defect of manner, Than what in his birth and breeding Rank may cover with its mantle, But not so . . . . [LELIUS enters. LELIUS. Be silent, Florus, Nor attack me in my absence; For of a rival to speak ill, Is the act but of a dastard. 'Tis to stop this I come forward, Angry after so many passes Which my sword has had with thine, That I have not yet dispatched thee. JUSTINA. Who, not guilty, ever saw her In such dangerous straits entangled? FLORUS. What behind your back was spoken, I before you will establish, Truth is truth where'er 'tis uttered. [They grasp their swords. JUSTINA. Florus! Lelius! what would you have then. LELIUS. I would have full satisfaction Where I heard th'insulting language. FLORUS. I'll maintain what I have said Where I said it. JUSTINA. From so many Strokes of fortune, free me, Heaven!- FLORUS. And I'll learn to chastise your rashness. * * * * * SCENE XVI. The Governor enters with LYSANDER and attendants. - JUSTINA, LELIUS, and FLORUS. [All who enter]. Hold! stand back! JUSTINA. Unhappy me! GOVERNOR. What is this? But empty scabbards, Naked swords, are quite sufficient To inform me what has happened. JUSTINA. What misfortune! LYSANDER. What affliction!- LELIUS. Ah, my lord . . . GOVERNOR. Enough, no farther. Lelius, thou a son of mine, A disturber? Thou a scandal To all Antioch through my favour? LELIUS. Think, my lord . . . GOVERNOR. Arrest, disarm them, Take them hence. Make no distinction On account of blood or rank here. Let them suffer both alike, Since in guilt alike they acted. LELIUS [aside]. I came jealous, and go outraged. FLORUS [aside]. To my pains new pains are added. GOVERNOR. In distinct and separate prisons, And with watchful eyes to guard them, Place the two. - And you, Lysander, Is it possible you have tarnished Such a noble reputation, Suffering . . . . LYSANDER. No; let not these dazzling False appearances mislead you, For Justina in what happened Was quite blameless. GOVERNOR. In her house here, Would you have her live regardless Of the fact that they were young, And that she was fair; My anger I restrain, lest people say, I, an interested party, Sentence passed as partial judge.- But of you who caused this quarrel, Now that maiden shame has left you, Well I know that you will glad me With the occasion I desire, Of exposing, of unmasking, In the light of actual vices, The false virtuous part you've acted. [Exeunt The Governor and his attendants; LELIUS and FLORUS follow as prisoners. * * * * * SCENE XVII. JUSTINA and LYSANDER. JUSTINA. I reply but with my tears. LYSANDER. Tears as vain as they are tardy. What an act was mine, Justina, When to thee my lips imparted Who thou art! Oh, would I never Told thee, that upon the margin Of a rivulet in this forest, A dead mother's womb here cast thee! JUSTINA. I . . . . LYSANDER. Do not attempt excuses. JUSTINA. Heaven will make them, then, hereafter LYSANDER. When too late, perhaps. JUSTINA. No limit Can be late here while life lasteth. LYSANDER. For the punishment of crimes. JUSTINA. Injured truth to re-establish. LYSANDER. I, from what I have seen, condemn thee. JUSTINA. I thee, from what thou knowest not, rather. LYSANDER. Leave me; I go forth to die Where my grief will soon dispatch me. JUSTINA. At thy feet I would lose my life; But do not reject me, father. [Exeunt. * * * * * SCENE XVIII. A HALL IN CYPRIAN'S HOUSE. At the end is an open gallery, through which is seen the country. CYPRIAN, the Demon, MOSCON, and CLARIN. DEMON. Since the hour that I have been In your house a guest, you ne'er Show a gay and cheerful air. Sadness in your face is seen. It is wrong your cure to shun, Seeking to mislead mine eyes, Since I would unsphere the skies, Shake the stars, and shroud the sun, For the least desire you feel That more pleasantly you might live. CYPRIAN. Magic has no power to give The impossible I conceal, Though the misery I betray. DEMON. Come, confess the longed-for bliss. CYPRIAN. I love a woman. DEMON. And is this The impossible that you say? CYPRIAN. If you knew her, you'd agree. DEMON. Well, describe her, I'm resigned; Though I can't but smile to find What a coward you must be. CYPRIAN. The fair cradle of the skies, Where the infant sun reposes, Ere he rises, decked with roses, Robed in snow, to dry heaven's eyes. The green prison-bud that tries To restrain the conscious rose, When the crimson captive knows April treads its gardens near, Turning dawn's half frozen tear To a smile where sunshine glows. The sweet streamlet gliding by, Though it scarcely dares to breathe Softest murmurs through its teeth, From the frosts that on it lie. The bright pink, in its small sky Shining like a coral star. The blithe bird that flies afar, Drest in shifting shades and blooms - Soaring cithern of plumes Harping high o'er heaven's blue bar. The white rock that cheats the sun When it tries to melt it down, What it melts is but the crown Which from winter's snow it won. The green bay that will not shun, Though the heavens are all aglow, For its feet a bath of snow,- Green Narcissus of the brook, Fearless leaning o'er to look, Though the stream runs chill below In a word, the crimson dawn, Sun, mead, streamlet, rosebud, May Bird that sings his amorous lay, April's laugh that gems the lawn, Pink that sips the dews up-drawn, Rock that stands in storm and shine, Bay-tree that delights to twine Round its fadeless leaves the sun, All are parts which met in one Form this woman most divine. For myself, in blind unrest, (Guess my madness if you can) I, to seem another man, In these courtly robes am drest, Studious calm I now detest, Fame no longer fires my mind, Passion reigns where thought refined, I my firmness fling to tears, Courage I resign to fears, And my hopes I give the wind. I have said, and so will do, That to some infernal sprite I would offer with delight (And the pledge I now renew) Even my soul for her I woo. But my offer is in vain, Hell rejects it with disdain, For my soul, it may allege, Is a disproportionate pledge For the interest I would gain. DEMON. Is this, then your boasted courage, In the footsteps of dejected* Swains to follow, who grow timid When their first assault's rejected? Are examples then so distant Of fair ladies who surrender All their vanities to entreaties, All their pride to fond addresses? Would you make your breast the prison Of your love, your arms her fetters? [footnote] *Asonante in e-e to the end of the Act. CYPRIAN. Can you doubt it? DEMON. Then command them To retire, those two, your servants, So that we remain here only. CYPRIAN. Go: both leave me for the present. MOSCON. I obey. [Exit. CLARIN. And I as well.- [Aside, concealing himself. Such a guest must be the devil. CYPRIAN. They are gone. DEMON [aside]. That Clarin's hiding, Is to me of small concernment. CYPRIAN. What more wish you now? DEMON. First fasten Well this door. CYPRIAN. Yes; none can enter. DEMON. For the possession of this woman, With your lips you have asserted You would give your soul. CYPRIAN. 'Tis so. DEMON. Then the contract is accepted. CYPRIAN. What do you say? DEMON. That I accept it. CYPRIAN. How? DEMON. So much have I effected By my science, that I will teach you How by it to get possession Of the woman that you worship; For I (though so wise and learned) Have no other means to win her. Let us now in writing settle What we have resolved between us. CYPRIAN. Do you wish by new pretences To prolong the pains I suffer? In my hand is what I tender, But in yours is not the offer That you make me; no, for never Conjurations or enchantments Can free will control or fetter. DEMON. Give me, on the terms you spoke of, Your signed bond. CLARIN. [peeping]. The deuce! This fellow Is no fool, I see. No greenhorn In his business is this devil. I give him my bond! No, truly, Though my lodgings wanted a tenant For the space of twenty ages, I wouldn't do it. CYPRIAN. Sir, much jesting May with merry friends be pastime, Not with those who are dejected. DEMON. I, in proof of what I am able To effect, will now present you With an example, though it faintly Shows the power my art possesses. From this gallery what is seen? CYPRIAN. Much of sky, and much of meadow, Wood, a rivulet, and a mountain. DEMON. Which to you doth seem most pleasant? CYPRIAN. The proud mountain, for in it Is my adored one represented. DEMON. Proud competitor of time, Rival of the years for ever, Who as king of fields and plains Crown'st thee with the cloud and tempest, Move thyself, change earth and air; Look, see who I am that tell thee.- And, look thou, too, since a mountain I can move, thou mayest a maiden. [The mountain moves from one side to the other in the perspective of the theatre. CYPRIAN. Never saw I such a wonder! Ne'er a sight of so much terror! CLARIN [peeping]. With the fright and with the fear, I enjoy a twofold tremble. CYPRIAN. Mighty mountain bird that fliest, Trees for wings replacing feathers, Boat, whose rocks supply the tackle, As thou furrowest through the zephyr, To thy centre back return thee, And so end this fear, this terror. [The mountain returns to its original position. DEMON. If one proof is not sufficient, I will give you then a second. Do you wish to see the woman You adore? CYPRIAN. Yes. DEMON. Then, thy entrails Ope, thou monster, to whose being The four elements are servants. Show to us the perfect beauty That thou hidest in thy centre. [A rock opens and JUSTINA is seen sleeping. Is this she whom you adore? CYPRIAN. Whom I idolize beyond measure. DEMON. But since I have power to give her, I can take her too, remember. CYPRIAN. Now impossible dream of mine, Now thy arms will be the centre Of my love, thy lips the sun, Burning, brimming as with nectar. DEMON. Stay; for till the word you gave me Is affirmed, and well attested, You can touch her not. [CYPRIAN rushes towards the rock, which closes. CYPRIAN. Oh, stay Cloud that hides the most resplendent Sun, that on my bliss e'er dawned!- But 'tis air my void arm presses.- I believe your art, acknowledge Now I am your slave for ever. What do you wish I do for thee? What do you ask? DEMON. To be protected By your signature here written In your blood, at the foot of a letter. CLARIN [peeping]. Oh! I'd give my soul that I To stay here had not been tempted. CYPRIAN. For my pen I use this dagger, Paper let this white cloth serve for, And the ink wherewith I write it, Be the blood my arm presents me. [He writes with the point of a dagger upon a piece of linen, having drawn blood from one of his arms. CYPRIAN [Aside]. Oh! I freeze with fear, with horror! I, great Cyprian, say expressly I will give my immortal soul, (Oh! what lethargy, what frenzy!) Unto him whose art will teach me (What confusion! what strange terror!) How I may of fair Justina, Haughty mistress mine, possess me. I have signed it with my name. DEMON [aside]. Now to my deceits is rendered Valid homage, when such reason, When discourse like his must tremble Even when my help is sought for.- Have you written? CYPRIAN. And signed the letter. DEMON. Then the sun you adore is thine. CYPRIAN. Thine too, for the years eternal, Is the soul I offer thee. DEMON. Soul for soul I pay my debtors, Then for thine I give to thee Thy Justina's CYPRIAN. In what term then, Think you you can teach to me All your magic art? DEMON. A twelvemonth; But on this condition . . . . CYPRIAN. Speak. DEMON. That within a cavern buried, Without any other study, We may live there both together, In our service having no one For us two but this attendant, [Drags out CLARIN. Who being curious hid him here;- By securing thus his person That our secret is well kept, We, I think, may be quite certain. CLARIN [aside]. Oh, that I had never waited! How does it happen though, so many Neighbours prone to pry, as I am, Are not caught thus by the devil? CYPRIAN. So far well. My love, my genius Have this happy end effected: First Justina will be mine, Then by my new lights, new learning, I will wake the world's surprise. DEMON. I have gained what I intended. CLARIN. I not so. DEMON. You come with us.- [Aside. O'er my great foe I've got the better. CYPRIAN. Ah, how happy my desires, If I reach to such possession!- DEMON [aside]. Never will my envy rest Till I gain both souls to serve me.- Let us go, and in the deepest Cavern this wild world presenteth You to-day will learn in magic Your first lesson. CYPRIAN. Let us enter, For my mind with such a master, For my love with such incentive, Will the sorcerer Cyprian's name Live before the world for ever. * * * * * ACT THE THIRD. SCENE I. A WOOD; AT THE EXTREMITY A GROTTO. CYPRIAN. CYPRIAN. Ungrateful beauty mine, At length the day, the happy day doth shine - My hope's remotest range, The limits of my love and of thy change, Since I to-day will gain At last my triumph over thy disdain. This lofty mountain nigh, Raised to the star-lit palace of the sky, And this dark cavern's gloom, Of two that live, so long the dismal tomb, Are the rough school wherein From magic art its mystic lore I win, And such perfection reach That I can now my mighty master teach. Seeing, that on this day, since I came here The sun completes its course from sphere to sphere, I from my prison cell come forth to view What in the light I now have power to do. Ye skies of cloudless day List to my magic spell-words and obey; Swift zephyrs that rejoice In heaven's warm light, stand still and hear my voice; Stupendous mountain rock Shake at my words as at an earthquake shock; Ye trees in rough bark drest Be frightened at the groanings of my breast; Ye flowers so fair and frail Faint at the echoing terror of my wail; Ye sweet melodious birds Hush all your songs before my awful words; Ye cruel beasts of prey See the first fruits of my long toil to-day; For blinded, dazzled, dazed, Confused, disturbed, astonished and amazed, Ye skies and zephyrs, rocks, and trees, and flowers, And birds, and beasts, behold my magic powers, And thus to all make plain Cyprian's infernal study is not vain. * * * * * SCENE II. The Demon and CYPRIAN. DEMON. Cyprian! CYPRIAN. Wise friend and master still! DEMON. Why, how is this, that using your free-will More than my precept meant, Say for what end, what object, what intent, Through ignorance or boldness can it be, You thus come forth the sun's bright face to see? CYPRIAN. Seeing that now my spell Can fill with fear, with horror even hell, Since I, with so much care Have studied magic and its depths laid bare, So that yourself can scarcely tell Whether 'tis I or you that most excel, Seeing that now there is no place or part That I with study, diligence and art, have not attained, Since necromancy's secret I have gained, That art whose lines of gloom Can ope to me the dark funereal tomb, And bring before mine eyes Each corpse that in it lies, Regaining them, as 'twere by a new birth From the hard avarice of the grasping earth. The pale ghosts, one and all, Rise and respond my call;- And seeing that at length the sun My goal of life had won, Since from its innate force Swift-speeding on its course, Climbing the heavens each day, It turns as 'twere reluctantly away, And with a natural fear Completes to-day the lifetime of a year, I wish to attain the scope To last of all my dreams, of all my hope. To-day the rare, the beautiful, the divine Justina will be mine, Here summoned by my charms, Here lured by love she'll come unto my arms, For you from me no longer can require Postponement of my hope's, my heart's desire. DEMON. Nor do I wish to do it, no, Since thus so earnestly you wish it so. Now trace upon the ground Mute mystic symbols, and the deep profound Of air, with powerful incantations move Obedient to your hope and to your love. CYPRIAN. For that I will retire; You soon shall see the heaven and earth admire. [Exit. DEMON. I give you leave to go, Because our science being the same, I know That the abyss of hell Obedient to your spell Will yield through me, this way, The fair Justina to your arms to-day: For, though my mighty power Cannot enslave free-will even for an hour, It may present The outward show of rapture and content, Suggesting thoughts impure:- If force I cannot use, at least I lure. * * * * * SCENE III. CLARIN and The Demon. CLARIN. Ungrateful fair, who still my heart doth hold, Not burning Libya sure, but Livia cold, The time is come to show Whether in love you have been true or no, Whether, since I within this cave was placed, Not chased by me you have yourself been chaste; For I have studied here At second hand some magic for a year, Just to find out (alack! I can't but wince) Whether with Moscon you have wronged me since:- Ye watery skies (some people call them pure) List to my conjurations I conjure, Mountains . . . . DEMON. How, Clarin? CLARIN. Oh! my master wise! By the concomitance of my hands and eyes, I've learned some magic, and would know by it If Livia, that ungrateful little chit, Has played me false since I have been away, Embracing that rogue Moscon on my day. DEMON. Have done with these buffooneries: leave me, go. And 'mid these intricate rocks whose paths you know, Assist your master, who will let you see (If you would witness such a prodigy) The end of all his woe. I wish to be alone. CLARIN. And I not so. I now perceive Why to use magic I have not your leave, The fault was mine, neglecting to attest My bond, and sign it with the blood of my breast.- [He takes out a soiled pocket-handkerchief. Upon this linen handkerchief (None cleaner he can have who cries for grief) I'll sign it now, the method I propose Is but to give myself a box on the nose, For there is little harm Whether the blood is drawn from nose or arm. [He writes with his finger on the handkerchief, after having drawn some blood. I, the great Clarin, say, if I can level Pert Livia's cruel pride, whom I give to the devil . . . . DEMON. Leave me, I say again, Go seek your master and with him remain. CLARIN. Yes, I will do so, don't get angry though. The reason you reject my bond I know: 'Tis this, because you see, Do what I will that you are sure of me. * * * * * SCENE IV. The Demon. DEMON. Abyss of hell prepare! Thyself the region of thine own despair.- From out each dungeon's dark recess Let loose the spirits of voluptuousness, To rain and o'erthrow Justina's virgin fabric pure as snow. A thousand filthy phantoms with thee brought So people her chaste thought That all her maiden fancies may be filled With their deceits; let sweetest notes be trilled From every tuneful grove, And all, birds, plants, and flowers, provoke to love. Let nothing meet her eyes But spoils of love's delicious victories, Let nothing meet her ears But languid sighs that listening passion hears: That thus unguarded by the faith, and weak, She here may Cyprian seek Invoked by his strong spell, And by my blinding spirit lured as well. Begin, in silence I will here remain Unseen, that you may now begin the strain. [Exit. * * * * * SCENE V. JUSTINA; music within. [They sing within.] A VOICE. What is the glory far above, All else that life can give? CHORUS OF VARIOUS VOICES. Love love. A VOICE. No creature lives on which love's flame Has not impressed its burning seal, The man feels more who love doth feel Than when Life's breath first warmed his frame. Love owns one universal claim,- To Love, it only needs To Be,- Whether a bird, a flower, a tree: Then the chief glory, far above All else in life must be . . . . CHORUS [within]. Love, love. JUSTINA [alarmed and restless]. Fancy, flatter that thou art, Though thou should'st be sad to-day, When did I to thee impart, In this strange and sudden way, Licence to afflict my heart? What thus makes my pulses move? What strange fire is this I prove Which each moment doth increase? Ah! this pain that ends my peace, This sweet unrest, ah, what? CHORUS. Love, love. JUSTINA [more composed]. 'Tis that enamoured nightingale Who thus gives me the reply:- To his partner in the vale Listening on a bough hard by Warbling thus his tuneful wail. Cease, sweet nightingale, nor show By thy softly witching strain Trilling forth thy bliss and woe, How a man might feel love's pain, When a bird can feel his so. No: it was that wanton vine That in fond pursuit has sought The tall tree it doth entwine, Till the green weight it hath brought Makes the noble trunk decline. Green entwining boughs that hold What you love in your embrace, Make my fancy not too bold:- Ah, if boughs thus interlace, How would clasping arms infold!- And if not the vine, 'twill be That bright sunflower which we see Turning with its tearful eyes To its sun-god in the skies, Whatsoe'er his movements be. Flower thy watch no longer keep, Drooping leaflets fold in sleep, For the fond thought reappears, Ah, if leaves can shed such tears, What are those that eyes can weep! Cease then, lyrist of the grove, Leafy vine, unclasp thy arms, Fickle flower, no longer move, And declare, these poisoned charms That you use, what yields? CHORUS [within]. Love, love. JUSTINA. Love! it cannot be. Its chain Have I ever worn for man? No, the fond deceit is vain. All received a like disdain, Lelius, Florus, Cyprian. Lelius did I not despise? Florus did I not detest? Cyprian, the good and wise, [She pauses at Cyprian's name and resumes for a time her unquiet manner. Spurn with such a haughty breast, That he vanished from my eyes, As if frightened by their ire?- Where he went I do not know. But save this, the faintest fire Love e'er lit, ne'er dared to glow In the depths of my desire. Yes, for since I said that he Should submit without appeal Never more my face to see, Ah, I know and what I feel!- [She grows calmer. Pity it must surely be, That a man so widely known Should through love of me be lost, When he pays at such a cost For the preference he has shown. [She becomes troubled again. Were it pity though, 'tis true, The same pity I should give Lelius and to Florus too, Who in separate dungeons live, Ah! for daring me to woo. [She grows calmer. But my thoughts, ye mutinous crew, If my pity is enough It should not be clogged by you. Still your promptings press me so, That I feel in my despair, Where he is, if I could know, I to seek him now would go. * * * * * SCENE VI. The Demon and JUSTINA. DEMON. Come, and I will tell thee where. JUSTINA. Who art thou who has procured Entrance to this lone retreat, Though the entrance is secured? Or, my senses being obscured, Art thou but delusion's cheat? DEMON. No, not so; but having known How this passion pressed thee so, I have sought thee here alone, Having promised thee to show Whither Cyprian has flown. JUSTINA. Then thou'lt reach not thy intent; For this passion, this strange pain, Which my thought doth so torment, Though my fancy it may gain, It will never my consent. DEMON. But in thought to enter in Shows that half the deed is done; Since accomplished is the sin:- Stop not halfway, ere is won What the wish desired to win. JUSTINA. Even in this desponding hour, Though to think may taint the flower, Thy suggestion comes to nought,- In my power is not my thought But my act is in my power. I can follow to the brink, Free to pause or to pursue, Move my foot, or backward shrink, For it is one thing to do, And another thing to think. DEMON. If a stronger power than thine, Drawn from a profounder source, With thine own desires combine, How resist the double force Which with force thy steps incline? JUSTINA. I will trust a safer spell:- My free will suffices me. DEMON. But my power will it excel. JUSTINA. Then the will no more were free If a force could it compel. DEMON. Come where every bliss thou'lt meet. [Attempts to draw her with him, but cannot move her. JUSTINA. Ah! the bliss were bought too dear. DEMON. It is peace, serene and sweet. JUSTINA. 'Tis a slavery most severe. DEMON. Life, 'tis joy. JUSTINA. 'Tis death, deceit. DEMON. Thy defence, what can it be, If my power thus forces thee? [Drags her with more force. JUSTINA. In my God it doth consist. DEMON. By persisting to resist, [Releases her. Woman, thou has conquered me. Thy defence to God is due, And my counsel is disdained; Yes, but raging I'll renew My attempt and have thee feigned, If I cannot have thee true. To a spirit I will give Shape like thine though fugitive, It will counterfeit thy form, As with seeming life be warm, And in it disgraced thou'lt live. Thus two triumphs at one time I am sure to win by this, Be thy virtue so sublime, Since through an ideal bliss I will consummate a crime. [Exit. * * * * * SCENE VII. JUSTINA. JUSTINA. 'Gainst the clouds that round me lower I appeal to heaven's high power; Let this spectre of my fame - As before the wind the flame - As before the frost the flower, Vanish, die . . . . But woe is me! Who is here to heed my moan? Was there not a man with me? Yes. But no: I am alone: No. But yes: for I could see. Where so quickly could he fly? Was he born of my unrest? Oh! my danger's manifest . . . Father! friend! Lysander! I Call . . . . * * * * * SCENE VIII. LYSANDER and LIVIA enter from opposite doors. - JUSTINA. LYSANDER. My child? LIVIA. What means this cry? JUSTINA. Saw you not a man (ah, me!) Who but left me instantly? I can scarce express my thought. LYSANDER. A man here? JUSTINA. You saw him not? LIVIA. No, senora. JUSTINA. I could see. LYSANDER. Saw a man here? That is hard, When the place was locked and barred. LIVIA [aside]. Moscon sure she must have seen, Whom I have contrived to screen In my changer. LYSANDER. I regard What you saw but as the play Of your fancy and your fear. Melancholy surely may Have, the man that you saw here, Formed from atoms of the day. LIVIA. Yes, I think my master's right. JUSTINA. No, 'twas no defect of sight, No illusion: since my heart,- Ah! too well I feel the smart - Has been broken by the fright. Some strange witchery of my will Must have been effected here. And with such consummate skill, That if God had not been near I might have pursued my ill. He who at such timely hour Helped me to resist the power Of this fearful violence, Will my humble innocence Guard, whatever dangers lower.- Livia, my cloak: whene'er [Exit LIVIA. Overwhelming griefs oppress, I to holy church repair, Where we secretly confess The true faith. [LIVIA returns with the cloak, which she places on JUSTINA. LIVIA. 'Tis this you wear. JUSTINA. There perchance I may appease This strange fire that burns me so. LYSANDER. I desire with thee to go. LIVIA [aside]. I will breathe much more at ease When they're out of the house, I know. JUSTINA. Since I wholly trust to thee Heaven, thy hold to me afford. Save me . . . . LYSANDER. Come: so it may be. JUSTINA. Since the cause is thine, O Lord! Oh, defend Thyself and me! [Exeunt JUSTINA and LYSANDER. * * * * * SCENE IX. MOSCON and LIVIA. MOSCON. Have they gone? LIVIA. They're gone: all right. MOSCON. Why, I'm almost dead with fright. LIVIA. Were you of your sense bereft When but now my room you left And appeared before her sight? MOSCON. Left your room? Be seen by her? Why, I swear it, Livia dear, Not one moment did I stir. LIVIA. Who then was it she saw here? MOSCON. Well, the devil, as I infer. How know I? But then do not Take it so to heart, my soul. LIVIA. Oh! that's not the cause. [She weeps. MOSCON. Then what? LIVIA. Such a question, when the whole Of a day it was his lot With me here locked up to stay? For his comrade far away Must I not a tear then shed, Though I take this day instead, Having wept not yesterday? Would I have him think of me As a woman who could be So forgetful and so frail, As for half a year to fail In what we did both agree? MOSCON. Half a year? It is above One whole year since he went away. LIVIA. Quite an error, as I'll prove. Mind, I cannot count a day When I Clarin could not love. This being so, if I to thee Gave up half the year (ah me!), I would give a false amount To place all to his account. MOSCON. Ah, ungrateful! can it be When my heart on thee depends For its peace, that thine attends To such trifles? LIVIA. Moscon, yes, For I find, I must confess, Short accounts make longest friends. MOSCON. Such being then thy constancy, Livia, I must say good-bye, Till to-morrow. Ah! if he Is thy two-day fever, I Hope he's not thy syncope. LIVIA. Well, my friend, from this you know I no malice bear. MOSCON. Just so. LIVIA. See me then no more to-day, But to-morrow, sir, you may: I'll not need to send. Heigho! [Exeunt. * * * * * SCENE X. A WOOD. CYPRIAN, as frightened; CLARIN, stealthily after him. CYPRIAN. Doubtless something must have happened 'Mong the stars; imperial clusters,* Since I find their influences To my wishes so repugnant. Up from the profound abysses Some dark caveat must be uttered, Which prohibits the obedience Which they owe me as my subjects. I, a thousand times, with spell-words Made the winds of heaven to shudder, I, a thousand times, the bosom Of the earth with symbols furrowed, Yet mine eyes have not been gladdened By the human sun refulgent That I seek, nor in mine arms Hold that human heaven. [footnote] *'Asonante' in 'u-e' to the end of Scene XV. CLARIN. What wonder? When a thousand times have I Scraped the earth as if for nuggets, When a thousand times the wind By my screeching was perturbed, And yet Livia was oblivious. CYPRIAN. Once again then I am humbled To invoke her thus. Oh, listen, Beautiful Justina . . . . * * * * * SCENE XI. A phantom Figure of JUSTINA appears. The Figure, CYPRIAN, and CLARIN. FIGURE. Summoned, As I wander through these mountains, I obey a call so urgent. What, then, wouldst thou? what, then, wouldst thou, Cyprian, with me? CYPRIAN. Oh, I shudder! FIGURE. And since now . . . . CYPRIAN. I am astonished! FIGURE. I have come . . . . CYPRIAN. What thus disturbs me? FIGURE. To this place . . . . CYPRIAN. What makes me tremble? FIGURE. Where . . . . CYPRIAN. Oh! whence this doubt that numbs me? FIGURE. Love doth call me . . . . CYPRIAN. Why, this terror? FIGURE. And the powerful spell thou workest Thus complied with, to this forest's Deepest depths I fly to shun thee. [Exit, covering her face with the cloak. CYPRIAN. Listen, hear me, stay, Justina! But why linger spell-bound, stunned here? I'll pursue her, and this forest, Whither by my spells conducted She has flown, will be the leafy Theatre, the rude-constructed Bride-bed of the strangest bridal Heaven e'er witnessed. [Exit. * * * * * SCENE XII. CLARIN. Stop: Renuncio Bride like this who smells of smoke Stronger than a blacksmith's furnace. But perhaps the incantation, Being so extremely sudden, Caught her leaning o'er the lye-tub, If not cooking tripe for supper. No. Thus cloaked and in a kitchen! That excuse won't do: another Let me try. (I have it now, For an honourable woman Never smells then any sweeter,) She with fright must have been flustered.- He has overtaken her now, And from that rude vale uncultured, Struggling in closed clasping arms, (For I think when lovers struggle, Open arms are not the weapon Even for the lustiest lover,) To this very spot they come: I will watch them under cover, For I wish for once to witness How young women are abducted. [Conceals himself. * * * * * SCENE XIII. CYPRIAN embracing the Figure of JUSTINA, which he carries in his arms. CYPRIAN. Now, O beautiful Justina, In this sweet and secret covert, Where no beam of sun can enter, Nor the breeze of heaven blow roughly, Now the trophy of thy beauty Makes my magic toils triumphant, For here folding thee, no longer Have I need to fear disturbance. Fair Justina, thou hast cost me Even my soul. But in my judgment, Since the gain has been so glorious, Not so dear has been the purchase. Oh! unveil thyself, fair goddess, Not in the clouds obscure and murky, Not in vapours hide the sun, Show its golden rays refulgent. [He draws aside the cloak and discovers a skeleton. But, O woe! what's this I see! Is it a cold corse, mute, pulseless, That within its arms expects me? Who, in one brief moment's compass, Could upon these faded features, Pallid, motionless, and shrunken, Have extinguished the bright beauties Of the blush rose and the purple? THE SKELETON. Cyprian, such are all the glories Of the world that you so covet. [The Skeleton disappears. CLARIN rushes in frightened, and embraces CYPRIAN. * * * * * SCENE XIV. CLARIN and CYPRIAN. CLARIN. Fear, for any one who wants it, Wholesale or retail I'll furnish. CYPRIAN. Stay! funereal shadow, stay! Now for other ends I urge thee. CLARIN. I am a funereal body:- Don't you see it by my bulk here? CYPRIAN. Ah! who are you? CLARIN. Who I am, sir, Or am not, myself doth puzzle. CYPRIAN. Did you in the air's void spaces, Or earth's caverns yawning under, See an icy corse here vanish, See to dust and ashes turning All the freshness and the beauty That it promised in its coming? CLARIN. Do you take me, sir, for one Of those pitiful poor lurkers Men call spies? CYPRIAN. What could it be? CLARIN. And not be, in such a hurry. CYPRIAN. Let us seek it. CLARIN. Let's not seek it. CYPRIAN. I must sift this matter further. CLARIN. I would rather not. * * * * * SCENE XV. The Demon, CYPRIAN, and CLARIN. DEMON [aside]. Just heavens, If my nature, in conjunction, Once possessed both grace and science, When 'mongst angels I was numbered, Grace alone is what I've lost, Science no. Then why unjustly, If 'tis so, deprive my science Of its proper power and function? CYPRIAN. Lucifer, wise master mine. CLARIN. Pray don't call him: for he'll come here In another corse, I warrant. DEMON. Speak, what would you? CYPRIAN. The annulling, The redemption of those pledges, At whose very thought I shudder. CLARIN. As I don't redeem my pledges, I'll slip off here through the bushes. [Exit. * * * * * SCENE XVI. CYPRIAN and The Demon. CYPRIAN. Scarcely o'er earth's wounded bosom Had I the true spell-word uttered, When in the ensuing action, She, of all my dreams the subject, My adored, divine Justina . . . . But why take the useless trouble, That to tell you know already? I embraced her, would unmuffle Her fair face, when (woe is me!) In her beauty I discovered A gaunt skeleton, a statue, A pale image, a sepulchral Show of death, which in these measured Words thus spoke (even yet I shudder), "Cyprian, such are all the glories Of the world that you so covet."- To assert, that on thy magic As expressed by me, the burden Of the fault should lie, is vain, For I, point by point, so worked it, That of all its silent symbols There was not a line but somewhere Had its place, of all its spell-words Not one word that was not uttered. Then, 'tis plain thou has deceived me, For though acting as instructed, I but found an empty phantom Where I sought a blissful substance. DEMON. Cyprian, this defect from thee, Nor from me, in truth, resulted: Not from thee, because the magic Thou didst exercise with subtle Thought and skill; and not from me, For I could not teach thee further. From a higher cause, believe me, Came this injury thou hast suffered. But be not cast down: for I, Who in tranquil rest would lull thee, Will to thee unite Justina, By a different way and juster. CYPRIAN. That is not my intention now. For this strange event has struck me With such terror and confusion, That thy ways I do not covet. And since thou has not complied with The conditions, the assumptions Of my love, I only ask thee, Now that from thy face I'm rushing, As the contract is annulled, That my bond thou shouldst return me. DEMON. What I promised was to teach thee, By a course of secret study, How to draw to thee Justina By the potent power impulsive Of thy words: and since the wind Here Justina hath conducted, I have then fulfilled my contract, I have kept my plighted word then. CYPRIAN. What was offered to my love Was that I should surely pluck here The sweet fruit whose seeds my hope Had to these wild wastes entrusted. DEMON. Cyprian, I was only bound Her to bring here. CYPRIAN. A mere shuffle: To my arms you swore to give her. DEMON. In thy arms I saw her struggle. CYPRIAN. 'Twas a phantom. DEMON. 'Twas a portent. CYPRIAN. Worked by whom? DEMON. By one who worked it To protect her. CYPRIAN. Who was he? DEMON [trembling]. I don't wish the name to utter. CYPRIAN. I will turn my magic science 'Gainst thyself. By its compulsion Speak, inform me who he is. DEMON. Well, a god who takes this trouble For Justina. CYPRIAN. What's one God, When of gods there's such a number? DEMON. All their power in Him is centred. CYPRIAN. Then One only, sole and sovereign, Must He be, whose single will Their united wills outworketh. DEMON. I know nothing, I know nothing. CYPRIAN. I renounce then with my utmost Power the pact that I made with thee; What compelled Him (this I urge thee In that God's great name) to guard her? DEMON [after having struggled ineffectually not to say it]. To preserve her pure, unsullied. CYPRIAN. Then He is the sovereign goodness Since a wrong He will not suffer. But if she remained here hidden Say what loss would have resulted? DEMON. Loss of honour, if the secret Leaked out to the gossiping vulgar. CYPRIAN. Then that God must be all sight, Since he could foresee these trouble. But, why could not thy enchantment Be as potent and consummate? DEMON. Ah! His power is ampler, fuller. CYPRIAN. Then that God must be all hands, Since whate'er He wills He worketh. Tell me then who is that God, Whom to-day I have discovered The supreme of good to be, The Creator, the Annuller, The Omniscient, the All-seeing, Whom I've sought for years unnumbered? DEMON. Him I know not. CYPRIAN. Speak, who is He? DEMON. As I speak it, how I shudder! He - He is the God of the Christians. CYPRIAN. Say what moved Him to obstruct me In my wish? DEMON. Her Christian faith. CYPRIAN. Does He guard so those who love Him? DEMON. Yes; but now too late, too late, Dost thou hope to gain His succour, Since, in being my slave, thou canst not Claim the privilege of His subject. CYPRIAN. I thy slave? DEMON. In my possession Is thy signature. CYPRIAN. I'll struggle To regain it from thee, since 'Twas conditional at the utmost. I don't doubt I will get it. DEMON. How? CYPRIAN. In this way. [He draws his sword, strikes at The Demon, but cannot touch him. DEMON. Although the lunges Of thy naked sword against me Are well aimed, thou hast not struck me, Fierce as were thy blows. And now, Even in more despair to plunge thee, I would have thee learn at least That the Devil is thy instructor. CYPRIAN. What do you say? DEMON. That I am he. CYPRIAN. Oh! to hear thee how I shudder!- DEMON. Not alone a slave art thou, But MY slave; be that thy comfort. CYPRIAN. I the slave of the Devil! I Own a master so unworthy? DEMON. Yes; for since thy soul thou gav'st me, Thenceforth it to me was subject. CYPRIAN. Is there then no gleam of hope, No appeal, no aid, no succour, By which I so great a crime Can blot out? DEMON. No. CYPRIAN. Why doubt further? Let not this sharp sword rest idly In my hand, but swiftly cutting Through my breast, become the willing Instrument of mine own murder. But what say I? He who could Snatch Justina from thy clutches, Can He not, too, rescue me? DEMON. No. By choice thou wert a culprit, And He does not favour crimes, Virtues only. CYPRIAN. If the summit Of all power He be, to pardon Is as easy as to punish. DEMON. He rewardeth by His power, He chastiseth from His justice. CYPRIAN. One who yields He'll not chastise. I am one, since I am humbled. DEMON. Thou art mine, my slave: no master Canst thou have but me. CYPRIAN. I trust not. DEMON. How, when still in my possession Is that bond of thine, that bloody Scroll inscribed by thine own hand? CYPRIAN. He who is supreme and sovereign, And depends not on another, Will yet bear me through triumphant. DEMON. In what way? CYPRIAN. He is all sight, And will see the fitting juncture. DEMON. It I hold. CYPRIAN. He is all hands, And will burst my bonds asunder. DEMON. Ere that comes I'll see thee dead: Thus my clasping arms shall crush thee. [They struggle together. CYPRIAN. Thou great God, the Christians' God, Oh, assist me in this struggle! DEMON [flinging CYPRIAN from his arms]. It is He who has saved thy life. CYPRIAN. More He'll do since I seek Him humbly. [Exeunt. * * * * * SCENE XVII. HALL IN THE PALACE OF THE GOVERNOR. The Governor, FABIUS, and Soldiers. GOVERNOR. How then was the capture made? FABIUS. In their church, as we suspected, We discovered them collected, Where before their God they prayed. With an armed guard I traced them To this secret sacred hall, Made them prisoners one and all, And in different prisons placed them. But, your patience not to tire, The chief point I may declare,- Captured is Justina fair, And Lysander her old sire. GOVERNOR. If for gold, a fair pretence, If for rank, you would not miss, Wherefore bring me news like this And not claim your recompense? FABIUS. If you deign to value thus My poor service you may pay it. GOVERNOR. How? FABIUS. With great respect I say it, Florus free, and Lelius. GOVERNOR. Though I seemed austere and cold, Them chastising without pity To strike terror through the city, Yet if the whole truth were told, Then the cause were plain why they Have been prisoned a whole year. It is this, a father's fear Lelius would preserve this way. Florus was his rival, he Had a host of powerful friends, Each was jealous, and his ends Would attain whate'er might be. I was fearful a collision Would ensue if they should meet, So I thought it more discreet Not to come to a decision. So with this intent I sought Some pretext, Justina's face To expel from out this place, But I could discover nought. But since this event to-day, With her damaged character, Gives a right to banish her, Nay, to take her life away, Let them be released. No fear Need you have about their fate; Go, and Lelius liberate, Go, and Florus bring me here. FABIUS. Myriad times I kiss thy feet For a favour so immense. [Exit. * * * * * SCENE XVIII. The Governor and Soldiers. GOVERNOR. And since now this fair pretence, This hypocritical deceit, In my power at last doth lie, Wherefore my revenge postpone For the sorrows I have known Through her fault? Yes, she shall die By the bloody headsman's hand. [To a Soldier. Bring her hither in my name. Let her punishment and shame Be a terror to the land. Let the palace she thought sweet But her scaffold scene present. [Exit the Soldier with others. * * * * * SCENE XIX. FABIUS, LELIUS, and FLORUS. - THE SAME. FABIUS. Sir, the two for whom you sent Here are kneeling at your feet. LELIUS. I, whose wish it is to be Welcomed as thy son this time, With no consciousness of crime Do not see a judge in thee, I an angry sire may see With a son's respectful fear And obedience. FLORUS. Being here, I infer that it must be (Though no guilt can I discern) Thy chastising hand to feel. See. Submissive here I kneel. GOVERNOR. Lelius, Florus, I was stern, Justly stern against ye two, For as judge or father I Could not unchastised pass by Your offence. But then I knew That in noble hearts the feeling Of resentment does not last, And as now the cause is past, I resolved, to both appealing, Friends to make of you once more. So to consecrate the tie Now embrace in amity. LELIUS. I am glad that, as of yore, Florus is my friend to-day. FLORUS. That thou'rt mine this act may show. Here's my hand. GOVERNOR. This being so, You are free to go or stay:- When I tell you of the sad Fall of her you once admired, Northing further is required. * * * * * SCENE XX. The Demon, a crowd of People. - THE SAME. DEMON [within]. Ware! beware! He's mad! he's mad! GOVERNOR. What is this? LELIUS. I'll go and see. [He goes to the door, and after a pause returns. GOVERNOR. In this palace hall these cries, From what cause can they arise? FLORUS. Something serious it must be. LELIUS. This confusion is occasioned (Hear a singular adventure), Sir, by Cyprian, who being absent Many days again has entered* Antioch completely mad. [footnote] *Asonante in e-e which continues to the end. FLORUS. It was doubtless the fine essence Of his mind that thus has brought him To this lamentable ending. PEOPLE [within]. Ware the madman! ware the madman! * * * * * SCENE XXI. CYPRIAN, half naked; People. - THE SAME. CYPRIAN. Never was I more collected; It is you yourselves are mad. GOVERNOR. Cyprian, what is all this ferment? CYPRIAN. Governor of Antioch, Viceroy of great Caesar Decius, Florus, Lelius, my young friends, Whom I valued and respected, Proud nobility, great people, To my words be all attentive: I am Cyprian, I am he Once so studious, and so learned, I the wonder of the schools, Of the sciences the centre. What I gained from all my studies Was one doubt, a doubt that never Left my wildered mind a moment, Ever troubling and perplexing. I Justina saw, and seeing, To her charms my soul surrendered, And for soft voluptuous Venus Left the wise and learn'd Minerva. Baffled by Justina's virtue, I, pursuing though rejected, And from one extreme to another Passing on as passion led me, To my guest, who from the sea Found my feet a port of shelter, For Justina pledged my soul, Since at once he charmed my senses And my intellect, by giving Love its hopes, and thought its treasures. From that hour, as his disciple Lived I in these lonely deserts, And to his laborious teaching I am for a power indebted, By which I can move even mountains And in different places set them: Yet although these mighty wonders I can do to-day, I'm helpless By the voice of my desire To draw towards me one fair vestal. And the cause why I am powerless To subdue that beauteous virgin Is that by a God she's guarded, Whom, now knowing by His blessed Grace bestowed, I come to acknowledge As the Infinite, the Eternal. Yes, the great God of the Christians I now openly confess here. And though true it is I am Still of hell the slave and servant, Having with my very blood Signed a certain secret cedule, Yet my blood that blood may blot out In the martyrdom I'm expecting. If you are a judge, if Christians You pursue with bloody vengeance, I am one: for in these mountains A grave venerable elder The first sacrament conferring With its sacred sign impressed me. This being so, why wait? Your orders Give unto the bloody headsman, Tell him here to strike this neck And from it my head dissever. Try my firmness as you will, For I, resolute and determined, Will endure a thousand deaths Since this truth at last I've learned, That without the great God, whom Now I seek, adore, and reverence, Human glories are but ashes, Dust, smoke, wind, delusive, empty. [He falls as if in a swoon, with his face to the ground. GOVERNOR. So absorbed, so lost in wonder, Cyprian, has thy daring left me, That considering modes of torture I have yet not one selected. Rise. Bestir thee. [Spurns him with his foot. FLORUS. As a statue Formed of ice he lies extended * * * * * SCENE XXII. Soldiers, JUSTINA. - THE SAME. A SOLDIER. Here, your Highness, is Justina. GOVERNOR [aside]. I must go, her face unnerves me.- With this living corse here lying [Aside to his retinue. Let us leave her for the present. For the two being here confined, It may alter their intentions, Seeing that they are condemned Both to die: if not, 'tis certain, That unless they adore our gods Frightful torments soon shall end them. LELIUS [aside]. I remain 'twixt love and fear Quite bewildered and suspended. FLORUS [aside]. So affected have I been, I scarce know what most affects me. [Exeunt all, except JUSTINA. * * * * * SCENE XXIII. JUSTINA; CYPRIAN, insensible on the ground. JUSTINA. What! without a word you leave me? When I come here, calm, contented, Even to die. Ah! wishing death, Am I then of death prevented?- [She perceives CYPRIAN. But my punishment is, doubtless, Thus locked up to face the terrors Of a slow and lingering death, With the body of this wretch here Left alone, my sole companion Being a corse. O thou, re-entered Into thy original earth, Happy wert thou, if thy sentence Was passed on thee for the faith I adore! CYPRIAN [recovering consciousness]. O proud avenger Of your gods, why wait, the thread Of my life to cut? . . . [He perceives JUSTINA, and rises. Heaven bless me!- [Aside. Can I trust my eyes? Justina! JUSTINA [aside]. Cyprian, do I see? O Heaven! CYPRIAN [aside]. No, it is not she, my thought Fills the void air with her presence. JUSTINA [aside]. No, it is not he, the wind Forms this phantom to divert me. CYPRIAN. Shadow of my fantasy . . . JUSTINA. Of my wish, delusive spectre . . . CYPRIAN. Terror of my startled senses . . . JUSTINA. Horror of my heart's dejection . . . CYPRIAN. What, then, wouldst thou? JUSTINA. What, then, wouldst thou? CYPRIAN. I invoked thee not. What errand Has thou come on? JUSTINA. Why thus seek me? I to thee no thought directed. CYPRIAN. Ah! I sought thee not, Justina. JUSTINA. Nor here at thy call I entered. CYPRIAN. Then why here? JUSTINA. I am a prisoner.- Thou? CYPRIAN. I, too, have been arrested. But, Justina, say what crime Could thy virtue have effected? JUSTINA. It is not for any crime, It is from their deep resentment, Their abhorrence of Christ's faith, Whom I as my God confess here. CYPRIAN. Thou dost owe Him that, Justina, For thy God was thy defender, He watched o'er thee in His goodness. Get my prayers to Him accepted. JUSTINA. Pray with faith, and He will listen. CYPRIAN. Then with that I will address Him. Though a fear, that's not despair, Makes me for my great sins tremble. JUSTINA. Oh! have confidence. CYPRIAN. My crimes are So immense. JUSTINA. But more immense are His great mercies. CYPRIAN. Then, will He Pardon have on me? JUSTINA. 'Tis certain. CYPRIAN. How, if my soul surrendered To the Demon's self, as purchase Of thy beauty? JUSTINA. Oh, there are not Stars as many in the heavens, Sands as many on the shore, Sparks within the fire as many, Motes as many in the beam, On the winds so many feathers, As the sins He can forgive. CYPRIAN. I believe it, and am ready Now a thousand lives to give Him.- But I hear some people enter. * * * * * SCENE XXIV. FABIUS, leading in MOSCON, CLARIN, and LIVIA, as prisoners; CYPRIAN and JUSTINA. FABIUS. With your master and your mistress Here remain confined together. [Exit. LIVIA. If THEY fancy to be Christians, What have WE done to offend them? MOSCON. Much: 'tis crime enough for us That we happen to be servants. CLARIN. Flying peril in the mountain, I find here a greater peril. * * * * * SCENE XXV. A Servant. - THE SAME. SERVANT. The Lord Governor Aurelius Summons Cyprian to his presence, And Justina. JUSTINA. Ah! how happy, If 'tis for the wished-for ending. Do not, Cyprian, be disheartened. CYPRIAN. Faith, zeal, courage, all possess me: For if life must be the ransom Of my slavery to the devil, He who gave his soul for thee, Will he not give God his person? JUSTINA. I once said that I could love thee But in death, and since together, Cyprian, we now must die, What I promised I present thee. [They are led out by the Servant. * * * * * SCENE XXVI. MOSCON, LIVIA, and CLARIN. MOSCON. How contentedly to die They go forth. LIVIA. Much more contented Are we three to remain alive. CLARIN. Not much more; for we must settle Our account now, though I own The occasion might be better, And the place too, still 'twere wrong To neglect the time that's present. MOSCON. What account pray? CLARIN. I have been Absent. LIVIA. Speak. CLARIN. The whole of a twelvemonth, When without my intermission Moscon in possession held thee. Now my quota in the business, If we both have equal measure, Is that I must have my year. LIVIA. Can it be that I'm suspected Of thus wronging thee so basely? Why, I wept whole days together When it was the day for weeping. MOSCON. Yes, for I myself was present: Every day that was not mine She thy friendship quite respected. CLARIN. That's a bounce; for not a tear, When this day her house I entered, Did she shed, and there I found thee Sitting with her quite contented. LIVIA. But this day is not a fast. CLARIN. Yes, it is; for I remember That the day I went away Was my day. LIVIA. Oh! that's an error. MOSCON. Yes, I see how that arises, This year is a year bissextile, And our days are now the same. CLARIN. Well, I'm satisfied, 'tis better That a man should not too deeply Pry into such things. - Good heavens!- [The sound of a great tempest is heard. * * * * * SCENE XXVII. The Governor, a crowd of People; then FABIUS, LELIUS, and FLORUS, all astonished; afterwards The Demon. LIVIA. Sure the house is tumbling down. MOSCON. How terrific! what a tempest! GOVERNOR. Doubtless in disastrous ruin Topple down the walls of heaven [The tempest is renewed, and enter FABIUS, LELIUS, and FLORUS. FABIUS. Scarcely on the public scaffold Had the headsman's hand dissevered Cyprian and Justina's necks, When the earth, even to its centre, Seemed to tremble. LELIUS. And a cloud, From whose burning womb extended The wild lightnings, the loud thunders, Awful embryos were projected, Fell upon us. FLORUS. From which issued A most horrid, most repelling Shape, who on the scaly shells Of a mailed and mighty serpent, O'er the scaffold made a sign Motioning silence and attention. [The Scene opens, and a scaffold with the heads and bodies of JUSTINA and CYPRIAN is seen. Over it in the air, upon a winged serpent, is The Demon. DEMON. Hear, O mortals, hear what I, By the orders of high Heaven, For Justina's exculpation, Must declare to all here present. I it was, who to dishonour Her pure fame, in form dissembled For the purpose, scaled her house, And her very chamber entered. And in order that her fame Should not by that fraud be lessened, I come here her injured honour To exhibit pure and perfect. Cyprian, who with her lieth On a happy bier at rest there, Was my slave. But he effacing, With the blood his neck outsheddeth, The red signature, the linen Is now spotless and unblemished. And the two, in spite of me, Having to the spheres ascended Of the sacred throne of God, Live there in a world far better.- This, then, is the truth, which I Tell, because God makes me tell it, Much against my will, my practice Not being great as a truth-teller. [He falls swiftly, and sinks into the earth. LIVIA. Oh! what horror! FLORUS. What confusion! LIVIA. What a prodigy! MOSCON. What terror! GOVERNOR. These are all but the enchantments Which this sorcerer effected At his death. FLORUS. I am in doubt To believe them or reject them. LELIUS. The mere thought of them confounds me. CLARIN. If magician, it is certain, As I hold, he must have been The magician then of heaven. MOSCON. Leaving our partitioned love In a rather odd dilemma, For "The Wonderful Magician" Ask the pardon of its errors. Publication Date: May 20th 2008 https://www.bookrix.com/-librarian

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Ryan Thomas The TCU Publication Date: October 14th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-thelegend84

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Lexis Her Life Her Story Good Times Bad Times Beginning Its The Summer Last Day Of School Im Coming Home And Im Very Happy About Nilla Calling Me. This Is A One Of a Kind Love She Lives In louisiana So There its a Hour Late EveryDay.So As I Get Off The Bus Walking Up The Rode Its 3:15 And I Know Its 2:15 There So got to Wait until She Gets Out Let Me Tell You What She Told me "I Dont Text In Class So Dont Text Me" Now I Ask Her Why? She Said Becuse She Just Dont. I first Meet Nilla OnLine She Was Nice We Chat and Talk all the Time. Let Me Step Out My Day Dream. I Start To Walk In the house My Sister Siting In the living Room On The Couch Eating Cookies Which She Knows Not To I Give Her The Look And The Little Brat Rolls Her Eyes At Me. So I Walks Over to her Slowly And Look Down On her She Looks Up At me I Take The cookies From Her And Walks In the kitchen And Puts them On the Table And Tells Her "Mia Do Not Touch Them." I turn Back around and head For My Room I Open the door and walks In Siting my Things On Th Bed My Leg Tired From That Long ass Walk. I Look At The Time On My Phone Which Say 4:15 Yay Nilla Should Be Out Of School Now So i Jump On my Bed And Dials Her Number. It Ring Two Times Before She Pick Up The I Hear her Sexy Voice I Loved Her Voice She Picks Up And Say Hello? I Say Hey Babe What You Doing And She Would Say Nothing She Be Like You Miss Me Like a Suker i Would Say No To Be A Smart ass And She would Say Stop Lieing You Know You Missed Me Girl Stop You Miss Me Yes I Missed You Baby You My World OMG I Would Start To Blush Every Time She Say Things Like that. So What Your Going to Do To Day Nothing Talk to my Baby Girl Then Iam Call You. Pause Shold I Slap the Shit Out Of her Or Let it Ride Im Let it Ride. Watever Nilla What You Doing to day Im Looking after Mia Today Oh Shit Tell my Bestfriend i Said hey No You Tell Her Your self Fine then Go give her Your Phone.I Gets Off My Bed And Walks Out My room and Looks For Mia " Mia!!!!" I Walks To her Room She Not in There. Chapter 2 Lord Here i Iam Looking For this Little Monkey. I Walk Out Side She Better Not Be By The Pool Or Im Tell Mamma. I Walk Around back Mia !!! I Yell " What " I Hear A Little Smart ass voice Knowing That Voice From anywhere Who Said You Could Com Out Side? No One Well Get Your But In The House Then !! She Stomp Pass Me I Hit her In The Back Of her head Better not Do it No More Here Come Nilla On the Phone Better Stop Hiting My bff Or Iam Hit You " Shutup" You Aint Go Nothing To Do With This. I Walks In The House Mia Nilla Wanna Talk to You I Yell ! She Comes Runing Out Her Room Ok. I Give Her My Phone And Tell her To Sit On the Couch And Dont Move With My Phone. I Get Up and Walks To get My book Bag So I Can Get My IPod Out And EarPhones I Grabs Then And Walks back To The Living Room And This Little brat is Not Where i Told Her To Saty I Start Yelling Her Name Mia!!! Lawd Why I Give her My Phone I Walk Back To my Moms Room And Shes in the Jumping On The Bed Sing Va Va Voom Voom !! I Yell Mia et Your Little Ass over Here. Ooooo Im Telling Mama Your Cussing At Me So get Your Little Bad ass Out Her Room Im Tell Her You Was Jumping On Her Be And Give Me Back My Damn Phone Little Brat Go Play Barbies Or Something. No She Saids In To big For Barbie Im 7 Years Old Sh Walks Away Hands On hips And Walks Right In Here Room. Hello? Yea She Say Nilla is Coming Down here This Summer To See Me For The First Time So I Really Cant Wait. Baby? Yes What Do You Want She Say Dang Dont Get A Tone With me Mhm She Say Well Im Take a Shower Im Call You Back Later She tells Me Wow Really Nilla I Look At Me Phone To see The time Its 6:00 Down Here So its Only 5:00 Down there I say Nilla So Your Going to Take a Shower At 5:00 a Clock Yea So Well You Dont Have To Lie If You Wanna Get Off The Phone With me Just Say That Wow Leah I Never Said That But Yea You Acting Like It OMg bye Leah Becuse You Acting Lik A Little Person Right Now I Dont Care I Hang In her Face. Throws My Phone On the Bed Ugh!!! I Walk To The Bathroom And Start To Run The Water For Mia Bath Mia !! I Yell Yes Come Here She comes Runing In The BathRoom Yes Go Get Your Nite Clothes And Your Towl OK I Turn off the Water And Gets Ready To Walk Out The Bath Room She comes Runing Passs Me "Dang!!" Mia Hurry Up I Walk Out The BathRoom And Gets Ready To make Mia Food iam Thinking To Myself Why dont i just call her back but that would Make me a sucker just what she want me to do. puting water on the stove and not looking at what iam doing i burn myself "shit!!!" ooooooo I hear mia all the way in the bathroom i roll my eyes she got them dam dog ears.she comes run out the bathroom where my food at women she wearing a pink dress with dora on it how i hate dora. iam cooking it Little girl so sit atthe table ok dang i hear the door open i look to see my mother coming in at 9:00 Hey Mama Hey Leah She runs Up to Mia Hey Baby Girl I roll my eyes to myself wow that little brat. She yells Mommy Leah was Yelling and cussing at me My Mouth drop open Mia!!! You Little Brat Leah!! My mama Yell! No Umm Mia Was Jumping on your Bed and she was Out Side to day with out no one. My Mama Look At Mia. Did Leah tell you That you can go Out side no nope i did not Mia Look At me Yes My Mouth drop once agin You little lieing Bitch Leah !!! Dont talk to yor sister like that. ughh i Hate my life i stomp off to my room damn i cant stand this house i slam the door. Leah Dont Be Slaming My Doors I open the door and slamed it agin. My Moms come charging in the room what i say aha !!!! Fine. i look at my phone i had a text from Nilla saying "Why You Acting Like that Over stupied stuff " Fuck ! her she really think she can do shit i cant people be like why you with her if she treats you wrong no one really undestands how much i love her an no one every will my mother thinks i like boyswhen im in to girls if i tell her oh mama i like girls she going to flip out in know that for a fact. i text nilla back ummm i Dont know who you talking to like that but you need to chilli for real. I Get up geting ready to take my shower my phone go off i grabs my phone hello? yea Iam About to take a shower so im call you back Why you stay on the phone with me all the other times Well ijust dot feel like it today Ok Fine Leah Bye. She Hangs up in my face Sometimes i really hate her so much. i walks in the bathroom and turns on the shower takeing off my clothes gets in and starts washingy body until ih hear some voice coming from the living room and sounds like a man voice i hury up and gets out puting on my clohes the bathroom nob starts to move what the fuck its lock cant you see someone in here i yell !! Dang her said After i got dress i open the door And He Looking at me I Said What You Looking at He Said a grow ass 17 year old. I Walk pass him and into my room who The fuck is that i grab my phone and walks out my room in down the staris and in my mothr room Mom! Who Is that man in the house he is my friend he Dont live her Do he Becuse You Know Nillas Coming down her and two weeks I Know My Mother think Nilla is my friend so im geting away with it at lest i think for now. Well Why he here he is here to see me thats why im grown Your my child and i Dont care about you being 17 im still your mother and you will act like it ! you understand Me . yea watever i walk out the room and i see mia siting on the couch eating cookies this little fat ass Monkey Mia Who Said you Can Eat cookies? She Got up and ran to her room Little brat. Text: LexisLashe All rights reserved. Publication Date: July 28th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-lexislashe

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Cheyanne Tinoco Cheater Time For A Change I was back in the same bed that I was all to familiar with. I loved Eric but I just couldn’t keep doing this, I feel like a slut. I’m sleeping with another girls boyfriend !! Not to mention that that girl is my sister !!!! But I just don’t no what is wrong with me because even though I no it’s wrong I keep coming back and sleeping with him. Eric grunted in pleasure which just made me feel even worse. “What’s wrong baby?” Eric said. I looked at him and just shook my head and looked away again. “You’re lying, I could tell. You haven’t made any sounds when we have sex since….since I got with you’re sister.” I just shook my head again and stayed quite. “Baby,” Eric stopped and looked at me. “What’s wrong? You could tell me anything.” I got off the bed and wrapped a blanket around myself and started to walk to the bathroom but Eric came and stopped me. He faced me so I was looking him in the eyes. “Tell me what’s going on, please.” “I can’t do this anymore Eric. I feel so bad. You’re my sister’s boyfriend !!” “You didn’t have a problem with this before.” He said. “You also weren’t with my sister before,” I was shouting at him now. I grabbed my clothes off of the floor and went into the bathroom and changed. I grabbed the brush off of the counter that Eric bought just for me so I could have one when I came over and brushed my hair. I opened the bathroom door and walked out. I looked up at Eric and seen that he put his clothes back on too. He looked at me and looked away. “I have to go.” I was the first to break the silence. I started to walk towards the door but Eric grabbed my hand and pulled me to his chest. “Ally, I love you okay? I loved you before I even got with you’re sister and I’ll probably love you after. I no that I ended up getting with you’re sister before you but that’s because it’s complicated. But just no that I love you. Okay?” I looked up at him and shook my head. “No, I don’t care what you say. You chose her over me. I don’t no why but you did. So you’re going to have her and only her.” I stepped around him and started to walk out of the house. I was already in tears by the time I reached the door. I opened it wide and walked out and bumped right into Alyssa, and right when I bumped into her Eric said from behind me, “Ally I love you, please don’t go.” Alyssa just froze when she took in the scene in front of her. “What’s going on here? Alyson what are you doing here, and why are you crying?” I looked at Alyssa and started blabbing out a lie, “Eric wanted to surprise you with a present so he asked me to come over and help. Then we were just talking and he wanted to practice something just in case you ever left him, that’s why I’m crying and he said ‘Ally I love you please don’t go’.” I was so scared she wouldn’t believe my lie. Then she just smiled and turned to Eric. “Awwww baby, you don’t have to worry about me leaving. I won’t do that to you.” She smiled and hugged him. He smiled back and hugged her. He looked at me while hugging Alyssa and mouthed ‘Thank you’ then ‘I love you’, I just shook my head. “Hey sis, I’m going to go. Ill talk to you later.” “Okay. Bye sis. Be careful.” I just nodded and walked away. “We should so get Alyson a boyfriend.” Alyssa said after her sister walked away. “What makes you think she wants a boyfriend?” Eric asked. “I no when my sis is either hooked on a guy or wants a guy. And trust me I could tell she wants one. Alright I’m going to ask some guys and you ask around too, okay?” Eric looked unsure but just nodded. Alyssa smiled and walked into the house and called Eric to follow her and he did Time To Move On I’m going to Azusa today for band rehearsal and I’m freaked that I’m might run into Eric. I can’t see him, I don’t know what I might do if I do. Were all already on the bus and on are way. I have my headphones in trying not to think about anything but my music. I have to admit, Skrillex helps a lot. We arrive around 3 period and get off the bus. They have a little section for the Slauson kids. So we all went and set up are instruments. Eric I was sitting on one of the school benches just thinking about Alyson and about what happened yesterday, when my friend Anthony showed up. “Hey man, what’s up?” Anthony said. I looked at Anthony and said,” Remember when I told you about Alyson?” Anthony nodded and said,” Yeah, that you were sleeping with her behind Alyssa’s back?” I gave him a dirty look but nodded. “Well, Alyson doesn’t want to do it anymore. But I love her a lot. And now Alyssa’s looking for a boyfriend for Alyson. So, I don’t know what I’m going to do.” Anthony just looked at me and said,” Well dude, there’s nothing that you can do. Alyson is finally tired of you messing around with them both.” I was about to reply when Derek walked up to us,” Hey guys, what you talking about?” Anthony answered before I could,” About how Alyson is tired of Eric using her.” Derek just looked at them and was about to say something, when he spotted Alyson. I seen Derek waving at me and I walked over to him. What I didn’t realize was that Eric was sitting right with him. I tried to ignore him and just talked to Derek. I smiled at him,” Hey Derek, what’s up? Haven’t seen you in a while.” Derek just smiled. “I’m good what about you?” “I’m okay I guess. A lot of shit from guys lately.” When I said this I looked at Eric and I seen his whole body tense. I heard someone else laugh and I looked up to see who it was. That’s when I realize there was another guy sitting with them. I smiled at him and he smiled back. He was really cute and sexy. “Hey, I’m Alyson.” He nodded his head and said,” Yeah, I no. It’s me, Anthony Diaz? You no, Sabrina’s ex.?” I looked at the guy again and realized this. I knew him. He was my old, old best friend’s ex. “Oh yeah, hey. Haven’t seen you in awhile. I thought you moved?” Anthony nodded and said,” Yeah. I moved to Arizona for awhile and then I came back with my brothers.” I nodded,” That’s cool.” He nodded back then said,” So what have you been up to? You look really different, real beautiful.” My eyes grew kind of big when he said this and I could feel myself blushing. “Um, nothing really. I’m just in band now. Still in softball though and still reading.” He nodded his approval and said,” That’s cool. Hey, if it’s okay with you, I’d like to take you out sometime. You know to like catch up on things. Just hang out, maybe go to a movie? Maybe something to eat?” Now I knew I was really blushing but surprisingly I said,” Yeah, I’d like that. Maybe, tonight? If you want?” He smiled and said,” Yeah, definitely.” Then he got up, walked over to me and kissed me on the cheek,” I can’t wait till tonight.” I smiled and was about to say something when Chris called me saying I had to go back. I smiled at Anthony and said bye. I told Derek bye to and just kind of looked at Eric for a second and left. Eric I looked at Anthony and shoved him. He stumbled a bit but didn’t fall like I was hoping. He looked at me and said,” Dude, what the hell?” I just looked at him and shook my head. “Why’d you ask her out? You no that I like her?” Anthony looked at him and said,” Yeah but I could at least have a chance at being with her. You don’t because you’re with Alyssa. Plus I really like her. She’s one of the reasons why I came back, well not her really. But I came back to hook up with someone and I seen her on the second day I was here but I couldn’t get to her. I’ve been trying to find her ever since.” Publication Date: June 5th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-lilmizzsunshine20

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John Habberton Helen's Babies HELEN'S BABIES With some account of their ways, innocent, crafty, angelic, impish, witching and impulsive; also a partial record of their actions during ten days of their existence By JOHN HABBERTON The first cause, so far as it can be determined, of the existence of this book may be found in the following letter, written by my only married sister, and received by me, Harry Burton, salesman of white goods, bachelor, aged twenty-eight, and received just as I was trying to decide where I should Spend a fortnight's vacation:-- "HILLCREST, June 15, 1875. "DEAR HARRY:--Remembering that you are always complaining that you never have a chance to read, and knowing that you won't get it this summer, if you spend your vacation among people of your own set, I write to ask you to come up here. I admit that I am not wholly disinterested in inviting you. The truth is, Tom and I are invited to spend a fortnight with my old schoolmate, Alice Wayne, who, you know, is the dearest girl in the world, though you DIDN'T obey me and marry her before Frank Wayne appeared. Well, we're dying to go, for Alice and Frank live in splendid style; but as they haven't included our children in their invitation, and have no children of their own, we must leave Budge and Toddie at home. I've no doubt they'll be perfectly safe, for my girl is a jewel, and devoted to the children, but I would feel a great deal easier if there was a man in the house. Besides, there's the silver, and burglars are less likely to break into a house where there's a savage-looking man. (Never mind about thanking me for the compliment.) If YOU'LL only come up, my mind will be completely at rest. The children won't give you the slightest trouble; they're the best children in the world--everybody says so. "Tom has plenty of cigars, I know, for the money I should have had for a new suit went to pay his cigar-man. He has some new claret, too, that HE goes into ecstasies over, though _I_ can't tell it from the vilest black ink, except by the color. Our horses are in splendid condition, and so is the garden--you see I don't forget your old passion for flowers. And, last and best, there never were so many handsome girls at Hillcrest as there are among the summer boarders already here; the girls you already are acquainted with here will see that you meet all the newer acquisitions. "Reply by telegraph right away. "Of course you'll say 'Yes.' "In great haste, your loving "SISTER HELEN. P. S. You shall have our own chamber; it catches every breeze, and commands the finest views. The children's room communicates with it; so, if anything SHOULD happen to the darlings at night, you'd be sure to hear them." "Just the thing!" I ejaculated. Five minutes later I had telegraphed Helen my acceptance of her invitation, and had mentally selected books enough to busy me during a dozen vacations. Without sharing Helen's belief that her boys were the best ones in the world, I knew them well enough to feel assured that they would not give me any annoyance. There were two of them, since Baby Phil died last fall; Budge, the elder, was five years of age, and had generally, during my flying visits to Helen, worn a shy, serious, meditative, noble face, with great, pure, penetrating eyes, that made me almost fear their stare. Tom declared he was a born philanthropist or prophet, and Helen made so free with Miss Muloch's lines as to sing:-- "Ah, the day that THOU goest a-wooing, Budgie, my boy!" Toddie had seen but three summers, and was a happy little know-nothing, with a head full of tangled yellow hair, and a very pretty fancy for finding out sunbeams and dancing in them. I had long envied Tom his horses, his garden, his house and his location, and the idea of controlling them for a fortnight was particularly delightful. Tom's taste in cigars and claret I had always respected, while the lady inhabitants of Hillcrest were, according to my memory, much like those of every other suburban village, the fairest of their sex. Three days later I made the hour and a half trip between New York and Hillcrest, and hired a hackman to drive me over to Tom's. Half a mile from my brother-in-law's residence, our horses shied violently, and the driver, after talking freely to them, turned to me and remarked:-- "That was one of the 'Imps.'" "What was?" I asked. "That little cuss that scared the hosses. There he is, now, holdin' up that piece of brushwood. 'Twould be just like his cheek, now, to ask me to let him ride. Here he comes, runnin'. Wonder where t'other is?--they most generally travel together. We call 'em the Imps, about these parts, because they're so uncommon likely at mischief. Always skeerin' hosses, or chasin' cows, or frightenin' chickens. Nice enough father an' mother, too--queer, how young ones do turn out." As he spoke, the offending youth came panting beside our carriage, and in a very dirty sailor-suit, and under a broad-brimmed straw hat, with one stocking about his ankle, and two shoes, averaging about two buttons each, I recognized my nephew, Budge! About the same time there emerged from the bushes by the roadside a smaller boy in a green gingham dress, a ruffle which might once have been white, dirty stockings, blue slippers worn through at the toes, and an old-fashioned straw-turban. Thrusting into the dust of the road a branch from a bush, and shouting, "Here's my grass-cutter!" he ran toward us enveloped in a "pillar of cloud," which might have served the purpose of Israel in Egypt. When he paused and the dust had somewhat subsided, I beheld the unmistakable lineaments of the child Toddie! "They're--my nephews," I gasped. "What!" exclaimed the driver. "By gracious! I forgot you were going to Colonel Lawrence's! I didn't tell anything but the truth about 'em, though; they're smart enough, an' good enough, as boys go; but they'll never die of the complaint that children has in Sunday-school books." "Budge," said I, with all the sternness I could command, "do you know me?" The searching eyes of the embryo prophet and philanthropist scanned me for a moment, then their owner replied:-- "Yes; you're Uncle Harry. Did you bring us anything?" "Bring us anything?" echoed Toddie. "I wish I could have brought you some big whippings," said I, with great severity of manner, "for behaving so badly. Get into this carriage." "Come on, Tod," shouted Budge, although Toddie's farther ear was not a yard from Budge's mouth. "Uncle Harry's going to take us riding!" "Going to take us riding!" echoed Toddie, with the air of one in a reverie; both the echo and the reverie I soon learned were characteristics of Toddie. As they clambered into the carriage I noticed that each one carried a very dirty towel, knotted in the center into what is known as a slip-noose knot, drawn very tight. After some moments of disgusted contemplation of these rags, without being in the least able to comprehend their purpose, I asked Budge what those towels were for. "They're not towels--they're dollies," promptly answered my nephew. "Goodness!" I exclaimed. "I should think your mother could buy you respectable dolls, and not let you appear in public with those loathsome rags." "We don't like buyed dollies," explained Budge. "These dollies is lovely; mine's name is Mary, an' Toddie's is Marfa." "Marfa?" I queried. "Yes; don't you know about "Marfa and Mary's jus' gone along To ring dem charmin' bells, that them Jubilee sings about?" "Oh, Martha, you mean?" "Yes, Marfa--that's what I say. Toddie's dolly's got brown eyes, an' my dolly's got blue eyes." "I want to shee yours watch," remarked Toddie, snatching at my chain, and rolling into my lap. "Oh--oo--ee, so do I," shouted Budge, hastening to occupy one knee, and IN TRANSITU wiping his shoes on my trousers and the skirts of my coat. Each imp put an arm about me to steady himself, as I produced my three-hundred-dollar time-keeper and showed them the dial. "I want to see the wheels go round," said Budge. "Want to shee wheels go wound," echoed Toddie. "No; I can't open my watch where there's so much dust," I said. "What for?" inquired Budge. "Want to shee the wheels go wound," repeated Toddie. "The dust gets inside the watch and spoils it," I explained. "Want to shee the wheels go wound," said Toddie, once more. "I tell you I can't, Toddie," said I, with considerable asperity. "Dust spoils watches." The innocent gray eyes looked up wonderingly, the dirty, but pretty lips parted slightly, and Toddie murmured:-- "Want to shee the wheels go wound." I abruptly closed my watch and put it into my pocket. Instantly Toddie's lower lip commenced to turn outward, and continued to do so until I seriously feared the bony portion of his chin would be exposed to view. Then his lower jaw dropped, and he cried:-- "Ah--h--h--h--h--h--want--to--shee--the wheels--go wou--OUND." "Charles" (Charles is his baptismal name),--"Charles," I exclaimed with some anger, "stop that noise this instant! Do you hear me?" "Yes--oo--oo--oo--ahoo--ahoo." "Then stop it." "Wants to shee--" "Toddie, I've got some candy in my trunk, but I won't give you a bit if you don't stop that infernal noise." "Well, I wants to shee wheels go wound. Ah--ah--h--h--h--h!" "Toddie, dear, don't cry so. Here's some ladies coming in a carriage; you wouldn't let THEM see you crying, would you? You shall see the wheels go round as soon as we get home." A carriage containing a couple of ladies was rapidly approaching, as Toddie again raised his voice. "Ah--h--h--wants to shee wheels--" Madly I snatched my watch from my pocket, opened the case, and exposed the works to view. The other carriage was meeting ours, and I dropped my head to avoid meeting the glance of the unknown occupants, for my few moments of contact with my dreadful nephews had made me feel inexpressibly unneat. Suddenly the carriage with the ladies stopped. I heard my own name spoken, and raising my head quickly (encountering Budge's bullet head EN ROUTE to the serious disarrangement of my hat), I looked into the other carriage. There, erect, fresh, neat, composed, bright-eyed, fair-faced, smiling and observant,--she would have been all this, even if the angel of the resurrection had just sounded his dreadful trump,--sat Miss Alice Mayton, a lady who, for about a year, I had been adoring from afar. "When did YOU arrive, Mr. Burton?" she asked, "and how long have you been officiating as child's companion? You're certainly a happy-looking trio--so unconventional. I hate to see children all dressed up and stiff as little manikins, when they go out to ride. And you look as if you had been having SUCH a good time with them." "I--I assure you, Miss Mayton," said I, "that my experience has been the exact reverse of a pleasant one. If King Herod were yet alive I'd volunteer as an executioner, and engage to deliver two interesting corpses at a moment's notice." "You dreadful wretch!" exclaimed the lady. "Mother, let me make you acquainted with Mr. Burton,--Helen Lawrence's brother. How is your sister, Mr. Burton?" "I don't know," I replied; "she has gone with her husband on a fortnight's visit to Captain and Mrs. Wayne, and I've been silly enough to promise to have an eye to the place while they're away." "Why, how delightful!" exclaimed Miss Mayton. "SUCH horses! SUCH flowers! SUCH a cook!" "And such children," said I, glaring suggestively at the imps, and rescuing from Toddie a handkerchief which he had extracted from my pocket, and was waving to the breeze. "Why, they're the best children in the world. Helen told me so the first time I met her this season! Children will be children, you know. We had three little cousins with us last summer, and I'm sure they made me look years older than I really am." "How young you must be, then, Miss Mayton!" said I. I suppose I looked at her as if I meant what I said, for, although she inclined her head and said, "Oh, thank you," she didn't seem to turn my compliment off in her usual invulnerable style. Nothing happening in the course of conversation ever discomposed Alice Mayton for more than a hundred seconds, however, so she soon recovered her usual expression and self-command, as her next remark fully indicated. "I believe you arranged the floral decorations at the St. Zephaniah's Fair, last winter, Mr. Burton? 'Twas the most tasteful display of the season. I don't wish to give any hints, but at Mrs. Clarkson's, where we're boarding, there's not a flower in the whole garden. I break the Tenth Commandment dreadfully every time I pass Colonel Lawrence's garden. Good-by, Mr. Burton." "Ah, thank you; I shall be delighted. Good-by." "Of course you'll call," said Miss Mayton, as her carriage started,--"it's dreadfully stupid here--no men except on Sundays." I bowed assent. In the contemplation of all the shy possibilities which my short chat with Miss Mayton had suggested, I had quite forgotten my dusty clothing and the two living causes thereof. While in Miss Mayton's presence the imps had preserved perfect silence, but now their tongues were loosened. "Uncle Harry," said Budge, "do you know how to make whistles?" "Ucken Hawwy," murmured Toddie, "does you love dat lady?" "No, Toddie, of course not." "Then you's baddy man, an' de Lord won't let you go to heaven if you don't love peoples." "Yes, Budge," I answered hastily, "I do know how to make whistles, and you shall have one." "Lord don't like mans what don't love peoples," reiterated Toddie. "All right, Toddie," said I. "I'll see if I can't please the Lord some way. Driver, whip up, won't you? I'm in a hurry to turn these youngsters over to the girl, and ask her to drop them into the bath-tub." I found Helen had made every possible arrangement for my comfort. Her room commanded exquisite views of mountain-slope and valley, and even the fact that the imps' bedroom adjoined mine gave me comfort, for I thought of the pleasure of contemplating them while they were asleep, and beyond the power of tormenting their deluded uncle. At the supper-table Budge and Toddie appeared cleanly clothed in their rightful faces. Budge seated himself at the table; Toddie pushed back his high-chair, climbed into it, and shouted: "Put my legs under ze tabo." Rightfully construing this remark as a request to be moved to the table, I fulfilled his desire. The girl poured tea for me and milk for the children, and retired; and then I remembered, to my dismay, that Helen never had a servant in the dining-room except upon grand occasions, her idea being that servants retail to their friends the cream of the private conversation of the family circle. In principle I agreed with her, but the penalty of the practical application, with these two little cormorants on my hands, was greater suffering than any I had ever been called upon to endure for principle's sake; but there was no help for it. I resignedly rapped on the table, bowed my head, said, "From what we are about to receive, the Lord make us thankful," and asked Budge whether he ate bread or biscuit. "Why, we ain't asked no blessin' yet," said he. "Yes, I did, Budge," said I. "Didn't you hear me?" "Do you mean what you said just now?" "Yes." "Oh, I don't think that was no blessin' at all. Papa never says that kind of a blessin'." "What does papa say, may I ask?" I inquired, with becoming meekness. "Why, papa says, 'Our Father, we thank thee for this food; mercifully remember with us all the hungry and needy to-day, for Christ's sake, Amen.' That's what he says." "It means the same thing, Budge." "_I_ don't think it does; and Toddie didn't have no time to say HIS blessin'. I don't think the Lord'll like it if you do it that way." "Yes, he will, old boy; he knows what people mean." "Well, how can he tell what Toddie means if Toddie can't say anything?" "Wantsh to shay my blessin'," whined Toddie. It was enough; my single encounter with Toddie had taught me to respect the young gentleman's force of character. So again I bowed my head, and repeated what Budge had reported as "papa's blessin'," Budge kindly prompting me where my memory failed. The moment I began, Toddie commenced to jabber rapidly and aloud, and the instant the "Amen" was pronounced he raised his head and remarked with evident satisfaction:-- "I shed my blessin' TWO timesh." And Budge said gravely:-- "NOW I guess we are all right." The supper was an exquisite one, but the appetites of those dreadful children effectually prevented my enjoying the repast. I hastily retired, called the girl, and instructed, her to see that the children had enough to eat, and were put to bed immediately after; then I lit a cigar and strolled into the garden. The roses were just in bloom, the air was full of the perfume of honeysuckles, the rhododendrons had not disappeared, while I saw promise of the early unfolding of many other pet flowers of mine. I confess that I took a careful survey of the garden to see how fine a bouquet I might make for Miss Mayton, and was so abundantly satisfied with the material before me that I longed to begin the work at once, but that it would seem too hasty for true gentility. So I paced the paths, my hands behind my back, and my face well hidden by fragrant clouds of smoke, and went into wondering and reveries. I wondered if there was any sense in the language of flowers, of which I had occasionally seen mention made by silly writers; I wished I had learned it if it had any meaning; I wondered if Miss Mayton understood it. At any rate, I fancied I could arrange flowers to the taste of any lady whose face I had ever seen; and for Alice Mayton I would make something so superb that her face could not help lighting up when she beheld it. I imagined just how her bluish-gray eyes would brighten, her cheeks would redden,--not with sentiment, not a bit of it; but with genuine pleasure,--how her strong lips would part slightly and disclose sweet lines not displayed when she held her features well in hand. I--I, a clear-headed, driving, successful salesman of white goods--actually wished I might be divested of all nineteenth-century abilities and characteristics, and be one of those fairies that only silly girls and crazy poets think of, and might, unseen, behold the meeting of my flowers with this highly cultivated specimen of the only sort of flowers our cities produce. What flower did she most resemble? A lily?--no; too--not exactly too bold, but too--too, well, I couldn't think of the word, but clearly it wasn't bold. A rose! Certainly, not like those glorious but blazing remontants, nor yet like the shy, delicate, ethereal tea-roses with their tender suggestions of color. Like this perfect Gloire de Dijon, perhaps; strong, vigorous, self-asserting, among its more delicate sisterhood; yet shapely, perfect in outline and development, exquisite, enchanting in its never fully-analyzed tints, yet compelling the admiration of every one, and recalling its admirers again and again by the unspoken appeal of its own perfection--its unvarying radiance. "Ah--h--h--h--ee--ee--ee--ee--ee--oo--oo--oo--oo" came from the window over my head. Then came a shout of--"Uncle Harry!" in a voice I recognized as that of Budge. I made no reply: there are moments when the soul is full of utterances unfit to be heard by childish ears. "Uncle Har-RAY!" repeated Budge. Then I heard a window-blind open, and Budge exclaiming:-- "Uncle Harry, we want you to come and tell us stories." I turned my eyes upward quickly, and was about to send a savage negative in the same direction, when I saw in the window a face unknown and yet remembered. Could those great, wistful eyes, that angelic mouth, that spiritual expression, belong to my nephew Budge? Yes, it must be--certainly that super-celestial nose and those enormous ears never belonged to any one else. I turned abruptly, and entered the house, and was received at the head of the stairway by two little figures in white, the larger of which remarked:-- "We want you tell us stories--papa always does nights." "Very well, jump into bed--what kind of stories do you like?" "Oh, 'bout Jonah," said Budge. "'Bout Jonah," echoed Toddie. "Well, Jonah was out in the sun one day and a gourd-vine grew up all of a sudden, and made it nice and shady for him, and then it all faded as quick as it came." A dead silence prevailed for a moment, and then Budge indignantly remarked:-- "That ain't Jonah a bit--_I_ know 'bout Jonah." "Oh, you do, do you?" said I. "Then maybe you'll be so good as to enlighten me?" "Huh?" "If you know about Jonah, tell me the story; I'd really enjoy listening to it." "Well," said Budge, "once upon a time the Lord told Jonah to go to Nineveh and tell the people they was all bad. But Jonah didn't want to go, so he went on a boat that was going to Joppa. And then there was a big storm, an' it rained an' blowed and the big waves went as high as a house. An' the sailors thought there must be somebody on the boat that the Lord didn't like. An' Jonah said he guessed HE was the man. So they picked him up and froed him in the ocean, an' I don't think it was well for 'em to do that after Jonah told the troof. An' a big whale was comin' along, and he was awful hungry, cos the little fishes what he likes to eat all went down to the bottom of the ocean when it began to storm, and whales can't go to the bottom of the ocean, cos they have to come up to breeve, an' little fishes don't. An' Jonah found 'twas all dark inside the whale, and there wasn't any fire there, an' it was all wet, and he couldn't take off his clothes to dry, cos there wasn't no place to hang 'em, an' there wasn't no windows to look out of, nor nothin' to eat, nor nothin' nor nothin' nor nothin.' So he asked the Lord to let Mm out, an' the Lord was sorry for him, an' he made the whale go up close to the land, an' Jonah jumped right out of his mouth, an' WASN'T he glad? An' then he went to Nineveh, an' done what the Lord told him to, and he ought to have done it in the first place if he had known what was good for him." "Done first payshe, know what's dood for him," asserted Toddie, in support of his brother's assertion. "Tell us 'nudder story." "Oh, no, sing us a song," suggested Budge. "Shing us shong," echoed Toddie. I searched my mind for a song, but the only one which came promptly was "M'Appari," several bars of which I gave my juvenile audience, when Budge interrupted me, saying:-- "I don't think that's a very good song." "Why not, Budge?" "Cos I don't. I don't know a word what you're talking 'bout." "Shing 'bout 'Glory, glory, hallelulyah,'" suggested Toddie, and I meekly obeyed. The old air has a wonderful influence over me. I heard it in western camp-meetings and negro-cabins when I was a boy; I saw the 22d Massachusetts march down Broadway, singing the same air during the rush to the front during the early days of the war; I have heard it sung by warrior tongues in nearly every Southern State; I heard it roared by three hundred good old Hunker Democrats as they escorted New York's first colored regiment to their place of embarkation; my old brigade sang it softly, but with a swing that was terrible in its earnestness, as they lay behind their stacks of arms just before going to action; I have heard it played over the grave of many a dead comrade; the semi-mutinous--the cavalry became peaceful and patriotic again as their band-master played the old air after having asked permission to try HIS hand on them; it is the same that burst forth spontaneously in our barracks, on that glorious morning when we learned that the war was over, and it was sung, with words adapted to the occasion, by some good rebel friends of mine, on our first social meeting after the war. All these recollections came hurrying into my mind as I sang, and probably excited me beyond my knowledge, for Budge suddenly remarked:-- "Don't sing that all day, Uncle Harry; you sing so loud, it hurts my head." "Beg your pardon, Budge," said I. "Good-night." "Why, Uncle Harry, are you going? You didn't hear us say our prayers,--papa always does." "Oh! Well, go ahead." "You must say yours first," said Budge; "that's the way papa does." "Very well," said I, and I repeated St. Chrysostom's prayer, from the Episcopal service. I had hardly said "Amen," when Budge remarked:-- "My papa don't say any of them things at all; I don't think that's a very good prayer." "Well, you say a good prayer, Budge." "Allright." Budge shut his eyes, dropped his voice to the most perfect tone of supplication, while his face seemed fit for a sleeping angel, then he said:-- "Dear Lord, we thank you for lettin' us have a good time to-day, an' we hope all the little boys everywhere have had good times too. We pray you to take care of us an' everybody else to-night, an' don't let 'em have any trouble. Oh, yes, an' Uncle Harry's got some candy in his trunk, cos he said so in the carriage,--we thank you for lettin' Uncle Harry come to see us, an' we hope he's got LOTS of candy--lots an' piles. An' we pray you to take good care of all the poor little boys and girls that haven't got any papas an' mammas an' Uncle Harrys an' candy an' beds to sleep in. An' take us all to Heaven when we die, for Christ's sake. Amen. Now give us the candy, Uncle Harry." "Hush, Budge; don't Toddie say any prayers?" "Oh yes; go on, Tod." Toddie closed his eyes, wriggled, twisted, breathed hard and quick, acting generally as if prayers were principally a matter of physical exertion. At last he began:-- "Dee Lord, not make me sho bad, an' besh mamma, an' papa, an' Budgie, and doppity, [Footnote: Grandmother.] an' both boggies, [Footnote: Grandfathers.] an' all good people in dish house, and everybody else, an' my dolly. A--a--amen!" "Now give us the candy," said Budge, with the usual echo from Toddie. I hastily extracted the candy from my trunk, gave some to each boy, the recipients fairly shrieking with delight, and once more said good-night. "Oh, you didn't give us any pennies," said Budge. "Papa gives us some to put in our banks, every nights." "Well, I haven't got any now--wait until to-morrow." "Then we want drinks." "I'll let Maggie bring you drink." "Want my dolly," murmured Toddie. I found the knotted towels, took the dirty things up gingerly and threw them upon the bed. "Now want to shee wheels go wound," said Toddie. I hurried out of the room and slammed the door. I looked at my watch--it was half-past eight; I had spent an hour and a half with those dreadful children. They WERE funny to be sure--I found myself laughing in spite of my indignation. Still, if they were to monopolize my time as they had already done, when was I to do my reading? Taking Fiske's "Cosmic Philosophy" from my trunk I descended to the back parlor, lit a cigar and a student-lamp, and began to read. I had not fairly commenced when I heard a patter of small feet, and saw my elder nephew before me. There was sorrowful protestation in every line of his countenance, as he exclaimed:-- "You didn't say 'Good-by' nor 'God bless you' nor anything." "Oh--good-by." "Good-by." "God bless you." "God bless you." Budge seemed waiting for something else. At last he said:-- "Papa says, 'God bless everybody.'" "Well, God bless everybody." "God bless everybody," responded Budge, and turned silently and went up-stairs. "Bless your tormenting honest little heart," I said to myself; "if men trusted God as you do your papa, how little business there'd be for preachers to do." The night was a perfect one. The pure fresh air, the perfume of the flowers, the music of the insect choir in the trees and shrubbery--the very season itself seemed to forbid my reading philosophy, so I laid Fiske aside, delighted myself with a few rare bits from Paul Hayne's new volume of poems, read a few chapters of "One Summer," and finally sauntered off to bed. My nephews were slumbering sweetly; it seemed impossible that the pure, exquisite, angelic faces before me belonged to my tormentors of a few hours before. As I lay on my couch I could see the dark shadow and rugged crest of the mountain; above it, the silver stars against the blue, and below it the rival lights of the fireflies against the dark background formed by the mountain itself. No rumbling of wheels tormented me, nor any of the thousand noises that fill city air with the spirit of unrest, and I fell into a wonder almost indignant that sensible, comfortable, loving beings could live in horrible New York, while such delightful rural homes were so near at hand. Then Alice Mayton came into my mind, and then a customer; later, stars and trademarks, and bouquets, and dirty nephews, and fireflies and bad accounts, and railway tickets, and candy and Herbert Spencer, mixed themselves confusingly in my mind. Then a vision of a proud angel, in the most fashionable attire and a modern carriage, came and banished them all by its perfect radiance, and I was sinking in the most blissful unconsciousness-- "Ah--h--h--h--h--h--oo--oo--oo--oo--ee--ee--ee--" "Sh--h--h!" I hissed. The warning was heeded, and I soon relapsed into oblivion. "Ah--h--h--h--oo--oo--ee--ee--ee--BE--ee." "Toddie, do you want uncle to whip you?" "No." "Then lie still." "Well, Ize lost my dolly, an' I tant find her anywhere." "Well, I'll find her for you in the morning." "Oo--oo--ee--I wants my dolly." "Well, I tell you I'll find her for you in the morning." "I want her NOW--oo--oo--" "You can't have her now, so you can go to sleep." "Oh--oo--oo--oo--ee--" Springing madly to my feet, I started for the offender's room. I encountered a door ajar by the way, my forehead being first to discover it. I ground my teeth, lit a candle, and said something--no matter what. "Oh, you said a bad swear!" ejaculated Toddie. "You won't go to heaven when you die." "Neither will you, if you howl like a little demon all night. Are you going to be quiet, now?" "Yesh, but I wants my dolly." "_I_ don't know where your dolly is--do you suppose I'm going to search this entire house for that confounded dolly?" "'TAIN'T 'founded. I wants my dolly." "I don't know where it is; you don't think I stole your dolly, do you?" "Well, I wants it, in de bed wif me." "Charles," said I, "when you arise in morning, I hope your doll will be found. At present, however, you must be resigned and go to sleep. I'll cover you up nicely;" here I began to rearrange the bed-clothing, when the fateful dolly, source of all my woes, tumbled out of them. Toddie clutched it, his whole face lighting up with affectionate delight, and he screamed:-- "Oh, dare is my dee dolly: tum to your own papa, dolly, an' I'll love you." And that ridiculous child was so completely satisfied by his outlay of affection that my own indignation gave place to genuine artistic pleasure. One CAN tire of even beautiful pictures, though, when he is not fully awake, and is holding a candle in a draught of air; so I covered my nephews and returned to my own room, where I mused upon the contradictoriness of childhood until I fell asleep. In the morning I was awakened very early by the light streaming in the window, the blinds of which I had left open the night before. The air was alive with bird-songs, and the eastern sky was flushing with tints which no painter's canvas ever caught. But ante-sunrise skies and songs are not fit subjects for the continued contemplation of men who read until midnight; so I hastily closed the blinds, drew the shade, dropped the curtains and lay down again, dreamily thanking heaven that I was to fall asleep to such exquisite music. I am sure that I mentally forgave all my enemies as I dropped off into a most delicious doze, but the sudden realization that a light hand was passing over my cheek roused me to savage anger in an instant. I sprang up, and saw Budge shrink timidly away from my bedside. "I was only a-lovin' you, cos you was good, and brought us candy. Papa lets us love him whenever we want to--every morning he does." "As early as this?" demanded I. "Yes, just as soon as we can see, if we want to." Poor Tom! I never COULD comprehend why with a good wife, a comfortable income, and a clear conscience, he need always look thin and worn--worse than he ever did in Virginia woods or Louisiana swamps. But now I knew all. And yet, what could one do? That child's eyes and voice, and his expression, which exceeded in sweetness that of any of the angels I had ever imagined,--that child could coax a man to do more self-forgetting deeds than the shortening of his precious sleeping-hours amounted to. In fact, he was fast divesting me of my rightful sleepiness, so I kissed him and said:-- "Run to bed, now, dear old fellow, and let uncle go to sleep again. After breakfast, I'll make you a whistle." "Oh, will you?" The angel turned into a boy at once. "Yes; now run along." "A LOUD whistle--a real loud one?" "Yes, but not if you don't go right back to bed." The sound of little footsteps receded as I turned over and closed my eyes. Speedily the bird-song seemed to grow fainter; my thoughts dropped to pieces; I seemed to be floating on fleecy clouds, in company with hundreds of cherubs with Budge's features and night-drawers-- "Uncle Harry!" May the Lord forget the prayer I put up just then! "Uncle Harry!" "I'll discipline you, my fine little boy," thought I. "Perhaps, if I let you shriek your abominable little throat hoarse, you'll learn better than to torment your uncle, that was just getting ready to love you dearly." "Uncle Har-RAY!" "Howl, away, you little imp," thought I. "You've got me wide awake, and your lungs may suffer for it." Suddenly I heard, although in sleepy tones, and with a lazy drawl, some words which appalled me. The murmurer was Toddie:-- "Want--she--wheels--go--wound." "Budge!" I shouted, in the desperation of my dread lest Toddie, too, might wake up, "what DO you want?" "Uncle Harry!" "WHAT!" "Uncle Harry, what kind of wood are you going to make the whistle out of?" "I won't make any at all--I'll cut a big stick and give you a sound whipping with it, for not keeping quiet, as I told you to."' "Why, Uncle Harry, papa don't whip us with sticks--he spanks us." Heavens! Papa! papa! papa! Was I never to have done with this eternal quotation of "papa"? I was horrified to find myself gradually conceiving a dire hatred of my excellent brother-in-law. One thing was certain, at any rate: sleep was no longer possible; so I hastily dressed, and went into the garden. Among the beauty and the fragrance of the flowers, and in the delicious morning air, I succeeded in regaining my temper, and was delighted, on answering the breakfast-bell, two hours later, to have Budge accost me with:-- "Why, Uncle Harry, where was you? We looked all over the house for you, and couldn't find a speck of you." The breakfast was an excellent one. I afterward learned that Helen, dear old girl, had herself prepared a bill of fare for every meal I should take in the house. As the table talk of myself and nephews was not such as could do harm by being repeated, I requested Maggie, the servant, to wait upon the children, and I accompanied my request with a small treasury note. Relieved, thus, of all responsibility for the dreadful appetites of my nephews, I did full justice to the repast, and even regarded with some interest and amusement the industry of Budge and Toddie with their tiny forks and spoons. They ate rapidly for a while, but soon their appetites weakened and their tongues were unloosed. "Ocken Hawwy," remarked Toddie, "daysh an awfoo funny chunt up 'tairs--awfoo BIG chunt. I show it you after brepspup." "Toddie's a silly little boy," said Budge; "he always says brepspup for brekbux." [Footnote: Breakfast.] "Oh! What does he mean by chunt, Budge?" "I GUESS he means trunk," replied my oldest nephew. Recollections of my childish delight in rummaging an old trunk--it seems a century ago that I did it--caused me to smile sympathetically at Toddie, to his apparent great delight. How delightful it is to strike a sympathetic chord in child-nature, thought I; how quickly the infant eye comprehends the look which precedes the verbal expression of an idea! Dear Toddie! for years we might sit at one table, careless of each other's words, but the casual mention of one of thy delights has suddenly brought our souls into that sweetest of all human communions--that one which doubtless bound the Master himself to that apostle who was otherwise apparently the weakest among the chosen twelve. "An awfoo funny chunt" seemed to annihilate suddenly all differences of age, condition and experience between the wee boy and myself, and-- A direful thought struck me. I dashed up-stairs and into my room. Yes, he DID mean my trunk. _I_ could see nothing funny about it--quite the contrary. The bond of sympathy between my nephew and myself was suddenly broken. Looking at the matter from the comparative distance which a few weeks have placed between that day and this, I can see that I was unable to consider the scene before me with a calm and unprejudiced mind. I am now satisfied that the sudden birth and hasty decease of my sympathy with Toddie were striking instances of human inconsistency. My soul had gone out to his because he loved to rummage in trunks, and because I imagined he loved to see the monument of incongruous material which resulted from such an operation; the scene before me showed clearly that I had rightly divined my nephew's nature. And yet my selfish instincts hastened to obscure my soul's vision, and to prevent that joy which should ensue when "Faith is lost in full fruition." My trunk had contained nearly everything, for while a campaigner I had learned to reduce packing to an exact science. Now, had there been an atom of pride in my composition I might have glorified myself, for it certainly seemed as if the heap upon the floor could never have come out of a single trunk. Clearly, Toddie was more of a general connoisseur than an amateur in packing. The method of his work I quickly discerned, and the discovery threw some light upon the size of the heap in front of my trunk. A dress-hat and its case, when their natural relationship is dissolved, occupy nearly twice as much space as before, even if the former contains a blacking-box not usually kept in it, and the latter contains a few cigars soaking in bay rum. The same might be said of a portable dressing-case and its contents, bought for me in Vienna by a brother ex-soldier, and designed by an old continental campaigner to be perfection itself. The straps which prevented the cover from falling entirely back had been cut, broken or parted in some way, and in its hollow lay my dresscoat, tightly rolled up. Snatching it up with a violent exclamation, and unrolling it, there dropped from it--one of those infernal dolls. At the same time a howl was sounded from the doorway. "You tookted my dolly out of her cradle--I want to wock my dolly--oo--oo--oo--ee--ee--ee--" "You young scoundrel," I screamed--yes, howled, I was so enraged--"I've a great mind to cut your throat this minute. What do you mean by meddling with my trunk?" "I--doe--know." Outward turned Toddie's lower lip; I believe the sight of it would move a Bengal tiger to pity, but no such thought occurred to me just then. "What made you do it?" "BE--cause." "Because what?" "I--doe--know." Just then a terrific roar arose from the garden. Looking out, I saw Budge with a bleeding finger upon one hand, and my razor in the other; he afterward explained he had been making a boat, and that knife was bad to him. To apply adhesive plaster to the cut was the work of but a minute, and I had barely completed this surgical operation when Tom's gardener-coachman appeared and handed me a letter. It was addressed in Helen's well-known hand, and read as follows (the passages in brackets were my own comments):-- "BLOOMDALE, June 21, 1875. "DEAR HARRY:--I'm very happy in the thought that you are with my darling children, and, although I'm having a lovely time here, I often wish I was with you. [Ump--so do I.] I want you to know the little treasures real well. [Thank you, but I don't think I care to extend the acquaintanceship farther than is absolutely necessary.] It seems to me so unnatural that relatives know so little of those of their own blood, and especially of the innocent little spirits whose existence is almost unheeded. [Not when there's unlocked trunks standing about, sis.] "Now I want to ask a favor of you. When we were boys and girls at home, you used to talk perfect oceans about physiognomy, and phrenology, and unerring signs of character. I thought it was all nonsense then, but if you believe any of it NOW, I wish you'd study the children, and give me your well-considered opinion of them. [Perfect demons, ma'am; imps, rascals, born to be hung--both of them.] "I can't get over the feeling that dear Budge is born for something grand. [Grand nuisance.] He is sometimes so thoughtful and so absorbed, that I almost fear the result of disturbing him; then, he has that faculty of perseverance which seems to be the on|y thing some men have lacked to make them great. [He certainly has it; he exemplified it while I was trying to get to sleep this morning.] "Toddie is going to make a poet or a musician or an artist. [That's so; all abominable scamps take to some artistic pursuit as an excuse for loafing.] His fancies take hold of him very strongly. [They do--they do; "shee wheels go wound," for instance.] He has not Budgie's sublime earnestness, but he doesn't need it; the irresistible force with which he is drawn toward whatever is beautiful compensates for the lack. [Ah--perhaps that explains his operation with my trunk.] But I want your OWN opinion, for I know you make more careful distinction in character than I do. "Delighting myself with the idea that I deserve most of the credit for the lots of reading you will have done by this time, and hoping I shall soon have a line telling me how my darlings are, I am as ever, "Your loving sister, "HELEN." Seldom have I been so roused by a letter as I was by this one, and never did I promise myself more genuine pleasure in writing a reply. I determined that it should be a masterpiece of analysis and of calm yet forcible expression of opinion. Upon one step, at any rate, I was positively determined. Calling the girl, I asked her where the key was that locked the door between my room and the children. "Please, sir, Toddie threw it down the well." "Is there a locksmith in the village?" "No, sir; the nearest one is at Paterson." "Is there a screwdriver in the house?" "Yes, sir." "Bring it to me, and tell the coachman to get ready at once to drive me to Paterson." The screwdriver was brought, and with it I removed the lock, got into the carriage, and told the driver to take me to Paterson by the hill-road--one of the most beautiful roads in America. "Paterson!" exclaimed Budge. "Oh, there's a candy-store in that town, come on, Toddie." "Will you?" thought I, snatching the whip and giving the horses a cut. "Not if _I_ can help it. The idea of having such a drive spoiled by the clatter of SUCH a couple!" Away went the horses, and up rose a piercing shriek and a terrible roar. It seemed that both children must have been mortally hurt, and I looked out hastily, only to see Budge and Toddie running after the carriage, and crying pitifully. It was too pitiful,--I could not have proceeded without them, even if they had been afflicted with small-pox. The driver stopped of his own accord,--he seemed to know the children's ways and their results,--and I helped Budge and Toddie in, meekly hoping that the eye of Providence was upon me, and that so self-sacrificing an act would be duly passed to my credit. As we reached the hill-road, my kindness to my nephews seemed to assume, greater proportions, for the view before me was inexpressibly beautiful. The air was perfectly clear, and across two score towns I saw the great metropolis itself, the silent city of Greenwood beyond it, the bay, the narrows, the sound, the two silvery rivers lying between me and the Palisades, and even, across and to the south of Brooklyn, the ocean itself. Wonderful effects of light and shadow, picturesque masses, composed of detached buildings so far distant that they seemed huddled together; grim factories turned to beautiful palaces by the dazzling reflection of sunlight from their window-panes; great ships seeming in the distance to be toy-boats floating idly;--with no sign of life perceptible, the whole scene recalled the fairy stories, read in my youthful days, of enchanted cities, and the illusion was greatly strengthened by the dragon-like shape of the roof of New York's new post-office, lying in the center of everything, and seeming to brood over all. "Uncle Harry!" Ah, that was what I expected! "Uncle Harry!" "Well, Budge?" "I always think that looks like heaven." "What does?" "Why, all that,--from here over to that other sky way back there behind everything, I mean. And I think THAT (here he pointed toward what probably was a photographer's roof-light)--that place where it's so shiny, is where God stays." Bless the child! The scene had suggested only elfindom to ME, and yet I prided myself on my quick sense of artistic effects. "An' over there where that awful bright LITTLE speck is," continued Budge, "that's where dear little brother Phillie is; whenever I look over there, I see him putting his hand out." "Dee 'ittle Phillie went to s'eep in a box and the Lord took him to heaven," murmured Toddie, putting together all he had seen and heard of death. Then he raised his voice, and exclaimed:-- "Ocken Hawwy, you know what Iz'he goin' do when I be's big man? Iz'he goin' to have hosses and tarridge, an' Iz'he goin' to wide over all ze chees an' all ze houses, an' all ze world an' evvyfing. An' whole lots of little birdies is comin' in my tarridge an' sing songs to me, an' you can come too if you want to, an' we'll have ICE-cream an' 'trawberries, an' see 'ittle fishes swimmin' down in ze water, an' we'll get a g'eat big house that's all p'itty on the outshide an' all p'itty on the inshide, and it'll all be ours and we'll do just evvyfing we want to." "Toddy, you're an idealist." "AIN'T a 'dealisht." "Toddy's a goosey-gander," remarked Budge, with great gravity. "Uncle Harry, do you think heaven's as nice as that place over there?" "Yes, Budge, a great deal nicer." "Then why don't we die an' go there? I don't want to go on livin' forever an' ever. I don't see why we don't die right away; I think we've lived enough of days." "The Lord wants us to live until we get good and strong and smart, and do a great deal of good before we die, old fellow--that's why we don't die right away." "Well, I want to see dear little Phillie, an' if the Lord won't let him come down here, I think he might let me die an' go to heaven. Little Phillie always laughed when I jumped for him. Uncle Harry, angels has wings, don't they?" "Some people think they have, old boy." "Well, I know they DON'T, cos if Phillie had wings, I know he'd fly right down here an' see me. So they don't." "But maybe he has to go somewhere else, Budge, or maybe he comes and you can't see him. We can't see angels with OUR eyes, you know." "Then what made the Hebrew children in the fiery furnace see one? Their eyes was just like ours, wasn't they? I don't care; I want to see dear little Phillie AWFUL much. Uncle Harry, if I went to heaven, do you know what I'd do?" "What WOULD you do, Budge?" "Why, after I saw little Phillie, I'd go right up to the Lord an' give him a great big hug." "What for, Budge?" "Oh, cos he lets us have nice times, an' gave me my mama an' papa, an' Phillie--but he took him away again--an' Toddie, but Toddie's a dreadful bad boy sometimes, though." "Very true, Budge," said I, remembering my trunk and the object of my ride. "Uncle Harry, did you ever see the Lord?" "No, Budge; he has been very close to me a good many times, but I never saw him." "Well, _I_ have; I see him every time I look up in the sky, and there ain't nobody 'with me." The driver crossed himself and whispered, "He's foriver a-sayin' that, an' be the powers, I belave him. Sometimes ye'd think that the howly saints thimselves was a-sphak-in' whin that bye gits to goin' on that way." It WAS wonderful. Budge's countenance seemed too pure to be of the earth as he continued to express his ideas of the better land and its denizens. As for Toddie, his tongue was going incessantly, although in a tone scarcely audible; but when I chanced to catch his expressions, they were so droll and fanciful, that I took him upon my lap that I might hear him more distinctly. I even detected myself in the act of examining the mental draft of my proposed letter to Helen, and of being ashamed of it. But neither Toddie's fancy nor Budge's spirituality caused me to forget the principal object of my ride. I found a locksmith and left the lock to be fitted with a key; then we drove to the Falls. Both boys discharged volleys of questions as we stood by the gorge, and the fact that the roar of the falling water prevented me from hearing them did not cause them to relax their efforts in the least. I walked to the hotel for a cigar, taking the children with me. I certainly spent no more than three minutes in selecting and lighting a cigar, and asking the barkeeper a few questions about the Falls; but when I turned, the children were missing, nor could I see them in any direction. Suddenly before my eyes arose from the nearer brink of the gorge two yellowish disks, which I recognized as the hats of my nephews; then I saw between the disks and me two small figures lying upon the ground. I was afraid to shout, for fear of scaring them, if they happened to hear me, I bounded across the grass, industriously raving and praying by turns. They were lying on their stomachs and looking over the edge of the cliff. I approached them on tip-toe, threw myself upon the ground, and grasped a foot of each child. "Oh, Uncle Harry!" screamed Budge in my ear, as I dragged him close to me, kissing and shaking him alternately, "I hunged over more than Toddie did." "Well, I--I--I--I--I--I--I hunged over a good deal, ANY how," said Toddie, in self-defense. That afternoon I devoted to making a bouquet for Miss Mayton, and a most delightful occupation I found it. It was no florist's bouquet, composed of only a few kinds of flowers, wired upon sticks, and arranged according to geometric pattern. I used many a rare flower, too shy of bloom to recommend itself to florists; I combined tints almost as numerous as the flowers were, and perfumes to which city bouquets are utter strangers. Arranging flowers is a favorite pastime of mine, but upon this particular occasion I enjoyed my work more than I had ever done before. Not that I was in love with Miss Mayton; a man may honestly and strongly admire a handsome, brilliant woman without being in love with her; he can delight himself in trying to give her pleasure, without feeling it necessary that she shall give him herself in return. Since I arrived at years of discretion, I have always smiled sarcastically at the mention of the generosity of men who were in love; they have seemed to me rather to be asking an immense price for what they offered. I had no such feeling toward Miss Mayton. There have been heathens who have offered gifts to goddesses out of pure adoration and without any idea of ever having the exclusive companionship of their favorite divinities. I never offered Miss Mayton any attention which did not put me into closer sympathy with these same great-souled old Pagans, and with such Christians as follow their good example. With each new grace my bouquet took on, my pleasure and satisfaction increased at the thought of how SHE would enjoy the completed evidence of my taste. At length it was finished, but my delight suddenly became clouded by the dreadful thought, "What will folks say?" Had we been in New York instead of Hillcrest, no one but the florist, his messenger, the lady and myself would know if I sent a bouquet to Miss Mayton; but in Hillcrest, with its several hundred native-born gossips and its acquaintance of everybody with everybody else and their affairs, I feared talk. Upon the discretion of Mike, the coachman, I could safely rely; I had already confidentially conveyed sundry bits of fractional currency to him, and informed him of one of the parties at our store whose family Mike had known in Old Erin; but every one knew where Mike was employed; every one knew--mysterious, unseen and swift are the ways of communication in the country!--that I was the only gentleman at present residing at Colonel Lawrence's. Ah!--I had it. I had seen in one of the library-drawers a small pasteboard box, shaped like a band-box--doubtless THAT would hold it. I found the box--it was of just the size I needed. I dropped my card into the bottom,--no danger of a lady not finding the card accompanying a gift of flowers,--neatly fitted the bouquet in the center of the box, and went in search of Mike. He winked cheeringly as I explained the nature of his errand, and he whispered:-- "I'll do it as clane as a whistle, yer honor. Mistress Clarkson's cook an' mesilf understhand each other, an' I'm used to goin' up the back way. Dhivil a man can see but the angels, an' they won't tell." "Very well, Mike; here's a dollar for you; you'll find the box on the hat-rack in the hall." Half an hour later, while I sat in my chamber window, reading, I beheld Mike, cleanly shaved, dressed and brushed, swinging up the road, with my box balanced on one of his enormous hands. With a head full of pleasing fancies, I went down to supper. My new friends were unusually good. Their ride seemed to have toned down their boisterousness and elevated their little souls; their appetites exhibited no diminution of force, but they talked but little, and all that they said was smart, funny, or startling--so much so that when, after supper, they invited me to put them to bed, I gladly accepted the invitation. Toddie disappeared somewhere, and came back very disconsolate. "Can't find my dolly's k'adle," he whined. "Never mind, old pet," said I, soothingly. "Uncle will ride you on his foot." "But I WANT my dolly's k'adle," said he, piteously rolling out his lower lip. I remembered my experience when Toddie wanted to "shee wheels go wound," and I trembled. "Toddie," said I, in a tone so persuasive that it would be worth thousands a year to me, as a salesman, if I could only command it at will; "Toddie, don't you want to ride on uncle's back?" "No: want my dolly's k'adle." "Don't you want me to tell you a story?" For a moment Toddie's face indicated a terrible internal conflict between old Adam and mother Eve, but curiosity finally overpowered natural depravity, and Toddie murmured:-- "Yesh." "What shall I tell you about?" "'Bout Nawndeark." "About WHAT?" "He means Noah an' the ark," exclaimed Budge. "Datsh what _I_ shay--Nawndeark," declared Toddie. "Well," said I, hastily refreshing my memory by picking up the Bible,--for Helen, like most people, is pretty sure to forget to pack her Bible when she runs away from home for a few days,--"well, once it rained forty days and nights, and everybody was drowned from the face of the earth excepting Noah, a righteous man, who was saved, with all his family, in an ark which the Lord commanded him to build." "Uncle Harry," said Budge, after contemplating me with open eyes and mouth for at least two minutes after I had finished, "do you think that's Noah?" "Certainly, Budge; here's the whole story in the Bible." "Well, _I_ don't think it's Noah one single bit," said he, with increasing emphasis. "I'm beginning to think we read different Bibles, Budge; but let's hear YOUR version." "Huh?" "Tell ME about Noah, if you know so much about him." "I will, if you want me to. Once the Lord felt so uncomfortable cos folks was bad that he was sorry he ever made anybody, or any world or anything. But Noah wasn't bad--the Lord liked him first-rate, so he told Noah to build a big ark, and then the Lord would make it rain so everybody should be drownded but Noah an' his little boys an' girls, an' doggies an' pussies an' mama-cows an' little-boy-cows an' little-girl-cows an' hosses an' everything--they'd go in the ark an' wouldn't get wetted a bit, when it rained. An' Noah took lots of things to eat in the ark--cookies, an' milk, an' oatmeal, an' strawberries, an' porgies, an'--oh, yes; an' plum-puddin's an' pumpkin-pies. But Noah didn't want everybody to get drownded, so he talked to folks an' said, 'It's goin' to rain AWFUL pretty soon; you'd better be good, an' then the Lord'll let you come into my ark.' An' they jus' said, 'Oh, if it rains we'll go in the house till it stops;' an' other folks said, 'WE ain't afraid of rain--we've got an umbrella.' An' some more said, they wasn't goin' to be afraid of just a rain. But it DID rain though, an' folks went in their houses, an' the water came in, an' they went up-stairs, an' the water came up there, an' they got on the tops of the houses, an' up in big trees, an' up in mountains, an' the water went after 'em everywhere an' drownded everybody, only just except Noah and the people in the ark. An' it rained forty days an' nights, an' then it stopped, an' Noah got out of the ark, an' he and his little boys an' girls went wherever they wanted to, and everything in the world was all theirs; there wasn't anybody to tell 'em to go home, nor no Kindergarten schools to go to, nor no bad boys to fight 'em, nor nothin'. Now tell us 'nother story." I determined that I would not again attempt to repeat portions of the Scripture narrative--my experience in that direction had not been encouraging. I ventured upon a war story. "Do you know what the war was?" I asked, by way of reconnoissance. "Oh, yes," said Budge; "papa was there, an' he's got a sword; don't you see it, hangin' up there?" Yes, I saw it, and the difference between the terrible field where last I saw Tom's sword in action, and this quiet room where it now hung, forced me into a reverie from which I was aroused by Budge remarking:-- "Ain't you goin' to tell us one?" "Oh, yes, Budge. One day while the war was going on, there was a whole lot of soldiers going along a road, and they were as hungry as they could be; they hadn't had anything to eat that day." "Why didn't they go into the houses, and the people they was hungry? That's what _I_ do when I goes along roads." "Because the people in that country didn't like them; the brothers and papas and husbands of those people were soldiers, too; but they didn't like the soldiers I told you about first, and they wanted to kill them." "I don't think they were a bit nice," said Budge, with considerable decision. "Well, the first soldiers wanted to kill THEM, Budge." "Then they was ALL bad, to want to kill each other." "Oh, no, they weren't; there were a great many real good men on both sides." Poor Budge looked sadly puzzled, as he had an excellent right to do, since the wisest and best men are sorely perplexed by the nature of warlike feeling. "Both parties of soldiers were on horseback," I continued, "and they were near each other, and when they saw each other they made their horses run fast, and the bugles blew, and the soldiers all took their swords out to kill each other with, when just then a little boy, who had been out in the woods to pick berries for his mama, tried to run across the road, and caught his toe some way, and fell down, and cried. Then somebody hallooed 'Halt!' very loud, and all the horses on one side stopped, and then somebody else hallooed 'Halt!' and a lot of bugles blew, and every horse on the other; side stopped, and one soldier jumped off his horse, and picked up the little boy--he was only about as big as you, Budge--and tried to comfort him; and then a soldier from the other side came up to look at him, and then more soldiers came from both sides to look at him; and when he got better and walked home, the soldiers all rode away, because they didn't feel like fighting just then." "Oh, Uncle Harry! I think it was an AWFUL good soldier that got off his horse to take care of that poor little boy." "Do you, Budge? Who do you think it was?" "I dunno." "It was your papa." "Oh--h--h--h--h!" If Tom could have but seen the expression upon his boy's face as he prolonged this exclamation, his loss of one of the grandest chances a cavalry officer ever had would not have seemed so great to him as it had done for years. He seemed to take in the story in all its bearings, and his great eyes grew in depth as they took on the far-away look which seemed too earnest for the strength of an earthly being to support. But Toddie,--he who a fond mama thought endowed with art sense,--Toddie had throughout my recital the air of a man who was musing on some affair of his own, and Budge's exclamation had hardly died away, when Toddie commenced to wave aloud an extravaganza wholly his own. "When _I_ was a soldier," he remarked, very gravely, "I had a coat an' a hat on, an' a muff an' a little knake [Footnote: Snake: tippet.] wound my neck to keep me warm, an' it wained, an' hailed, an' 'tormed, an' I felt bad, so I whallowed a sword an' burned me all down dead." "And how did you get here?" I asked, with interest proportioned to the importance of Toddie's last clause. "Oh, I got up from the burn-down dead, an' COMED right here. An' I want my dolly's k'adle." Oh persistent little dragon! If you were of age, what a fortune you might make in business! "Uncle Harry, I wish my papa would come home right away," said Budge. "Why, Budge?" "I want to love him for bein' so good to that poor little boy in the war." "Ocken Hawwy, I wants my dolly's k'adle, tause my dolly's in it, an' I want to shee her;" thus spake Toddie. "Don't you think the Lord loved my papa awful much for doin' that sweet thing, Uncle Harry?" asked Budge. "Yes, old fellow, I feel sure that he did." "Lord lovesh my papa vewy much, so I love ze Lord vewy much," remarked Toddie. "An' I wants my dolly's k'adle an' my dolly." "Toddie, I don't know where either of them are--I can't find them now--DO wait until morning, then Uncle Harry will look for them." "I don't see how the Lord can get along in heaven without my papa, Uncle Harry," said Budge. "Lord takesh papa to heaven, an' Budgie an' me, an' we'll go walkin' an' see ze Lord, an' play wif ze angels' wings, an' hazh good timsh, an' never have to go to bed at all, at all." Pure hearted little innocents! compared with older people whom we endure, how great thy faith and how few thy faults! How superior thy love-- A knock at the door interrupted me. "Come in!" I shouted. In stepped Mike, with an air of the greatest secrecy, handed me a letter and the identical box in which I had sent the flowers to Miss Mayton. What COULD it mean? I hastily opened the envelope, and at the same time Toddie shrieked:-- "Oh, darsh my dolly's k'adle--dare 'tish!" snatched and opened the box, and displayed--his doll! My heart sickened, and did NOT regain its strength during the perusal of the following note:-- "Miss Mayton herewith returns to Mr. Burton the package which just arrived, with his card. She recognizes the contents as a portion of the apparent property of one of Burton's nephews, but is unable to understand why it should have been sent to her. "June 20, 1875." "Toddie," I roared, as my younger nephew caressed his loathsome doll, and murmured endearing words to it, "where did you get that box?" "On the hat-wack," replied the youth, with perfect fearlessness; "I keeps it in ze book-case djawer, an' somebody took it 'way an' put nasty ole flowers in it." "Where are those flowers?" I demanded. Toddie looked up with considerable surprise but promptly replied:-- "I froed 'em away--don't want no ole flowers in my dolly's k'adle. That's ze way she wocks--see!" And this horrible little destroyer of human hopes rolled that box back and forth with the most utter unconcern, as he spoke endearing words to the substitute for my beautiful bouquet! To say that I looked at Toddie reprovingly is to express my feelings in the most inadequate language, but of language in which to express my feelings to Toddie. I could find absolutely none. Within two or three short moments I had discovered how very anxious I really was to merit Miss Mayton's regard, and how very different was the regard I wanted from that which I had previously hoped might be accorded me. It seemed too ridiculous to be true that I, who had for years had dozens of charming lady acquaintances, and yet had always maintained my common sense and self-control; I, who had always considered it unmanly for a man to specially interest himself in ANY lady until he had an income of five thousand a year; I who had skilfully, and many times, argued, that life-attachments, or attempts thereat, which were made without a careful preliminary study of the mental characteristics of the partner desired, was the most unpardonable folly,--I had transgressed every one of my own rules, and, as if to mock me for any pretended wisdom and care, my weakness was made known to me by a three-year-old marplot and a hideous rag-doll! That merciful and ennobling dispensation by which Providence enables us to temper the severity of our own sufferings by alleviating those of others, came soon to my rescue. Under my stern glance Toddie gradually lost interest in his doll and its cradle, and began to thrust forth and outward his piteous lower lip and to weep copiously. "Dee Lord, not make me sho bad," he cried through his tears. I doubt his having had any very clear idea of what he was saying, or whom he was addressing; but had the publican of whose prayer Toddie made so fair a paraphrase worn such a face when he offered his famous petition, it could not have been denied for a moment. Toddie even retired to a corner and hid his face in self-imposed penance. "Never mind, Toddie," said I, sadly; "you didn't mean to do it, I know." "I wantsh to love you," sobbed Toddie. "Well, come here, you poor little fellow," said I, opening my arms, and wondering whether 'twas not after contemplation of some such sinner that good Bishop Tegner wrote:-- "Depths of love are atonement's depths, for love is atonement" Toddie came to my arms, shed tears freely upon my shirt-front, and finally, after heaving a very long sigh, remarked:-- "Wantsh YOU to love ME" I complied with his request. Theoretically, I had long believed that the higher wisdom of the Creator was most frequently expressed through the medium of his most innocent creations. Surely here was a confirmation of my theory, for who else had ever practically taught me the duty of the injured one toward his offender? I kissed Toddie and petted him, and at length succeeded in quieting him; his little face, in spite of much dirt and many tear-stains, was upturned with more of beauty in it than it ever held when its owner was full of joy; he looked earnestly, confidingly, into my eyes, and I congratulated myself upon the perfection of my forgiving spirit, when Toddie suddenly re-exhibited to me my old unregenerate nature, and the incompleteness of my forgiveness, by saying:-- "Kish my dolly, too." I obeyed. My forgiveness was made complete, but so was my humiliation. I abruptly closed our interview. We exchanged "God bless you's," according to Budge's instructions of the previous night, and at least one of the participants in this devotional exercise hoped the petitions made by the other were distinctly heard. Then I dropped into an easy-chair in the library, and fell to thinking. I found myself really and seriously troubled by the results of Toddie's operation with my bouquet. I might explain the matter to Miss Mayton--I undoubtedly could, for she was too sensible a woman to be easily offended merely by a ridiculous mistake, caused by a child. But she would laugh at ME--how could she help it?--and to be laughed at by Miss Mayton was a something the mere thought of which tormented me in a manner that made me fairly ashamed of myself. Like every other young man among young men, I had been the butt of many a rough joke, and had borne them without wincing; it seemed cowardly and contemptible that I should be so sensitive under the mere thought of laughter which would probably be heard by no one but Miss Mayton herself. But the laughter of a mere acquaintance is likely to lessen respect for the person laughed at. Heavens! the thought was unendurable! At any rate, I must write an early apology. When I was correspondent for the house with which I am now salesman I reclaimed many an old customer who had wandered off--certainly I might hope by a well-written letter to regain in Miss Mayton's respect whatever position I had lost. I hastily drafted a letter, corrected it carefully, copied it in due form, and forwarded it by the faithful Michael. Then I tried to read, but without the least success. For hours I paced the piazza and consumed cigars; when at last I retired it was with many ideas, hopes, fears, and fancies which had never before been mine. True to my trust, I looked into my nephews' room; there lay the boys, in postures more graceful than any which brush or chisel have ever reproduced. Toddie, in particular, wore so lovely an expression that I could not refrain from kissing him. But I was none the less careful to make use of my new key, and to lock my other door also. The next day was the Sabbath. Believing fully in the binding force and worldly wisdom of the Fourth Commandment, so far as it refers to rest, I have conscientiously trained myself to sleep two hours later on the morning of the holy day than I ever allowed myself to do on business days. But having inherited, besides a New England conscience, a New England abhorrence of waste, I regularly sit up two hours later on Saturday nights than on any others; and the night preceding this particular Sabbath was no exception to the rule, as the reader may imagine from the foregoing recital. At about 5.30 A. M., however, I became conscious that my nephews were not in accord, with me on the Sinaitic law. They were not only awake, but were disputing vigorously, and, seemingly, very loudly, for I heard their words very distinctly. With sleepy condescension I endeavored to ignore these noisy irreverents, but I was suddenly moved to a belief in the doctrine of vicarious atonement, for a flying body, with more momentum than weight, struck me upon the not prominent bridge of my nose, and speedily and with unnecessary force accommodated itself to the outline of my eyes. After a moment spent in anguish, and in wondering how the missive came through closed doors and windows, I discovered that my pain had been caused by one of the dolls, which, from its extreme uncleanness, I suspected belonged to Toddie; I also discovered that the door between the rooms was open. "Who threw that doll?" I shouted, sternly. There came no response. "Do you hear?" I roared. "What is it, Uncle Harry?" asked Budge, with most exquisitely polite inflection. "Who threw that doll?" "Huh?" "I say, who threw that doll?" "Why, nobody did it." "Toddie, who threw that doll?" "Budge did," replied Toddie in muffled tones, suggestive of a brotherly hand laid forcibly over a pair of small lips. "Budge, what did you do it for?" "Why--why--I--because--why, you see--because, why, Toddie froo his dolly in my mouth; some of her hair went in, any how, an' I didn't want his dolly in my mouth, so I sent it back to him, an' the foot of the bed didn't stick up enough, so it went from the door to your bed--that's what for." The explanation seemed to bear marks of genuineness, albiet the pain of my eye was not alleviated thereby, while the exertion expended in eliciting the information had so thoroughly awakened me that further sleep was out of the question. Besides, the open door,--had a burglar been in the room? No; my watch and pocketbook were undisturbed. "Budge, who opened that door?" After some hesitation, as if wondering who really did it, Budge replied:-- "Me." "How did you do it?" "Why, you see we wanted a drink, an' the door was fast, so we got out the window on the parazzo roof, an' comed in your window." (Here a slight pause.) "An' 'twas fun. An' then we unlocked the door, an' comed back." Then I should be compelled to lock my window-blinds--or theirs, and this in the summer season, too! Oh, if Helen could have but passed the house as that white-robed procession had filed along the piazza-roof! I lay pondering over the vast amount of unused ingenuity that was locked up in millions of children, or employed only to work misery among unsuspecting adults, when I heard light footfalls at my bedside, and saw a small shape with a grave face approach and remark:-- "I wants to come in your bed." "What for, Toddie?" "To fwolic; papa always fwolics us Sunday mornin's. Tum, Budgie, Ocken Hawwy's doin' to fwolic us." Budge replied by shrieking with delight, tumbling out of bed, and hurrying to that side of my bed not already occupied by Toddie. Then those two little savages sounded the onslaught and advanced precipitately upon me. Sometimes, during the course of my life, I have had day-dreams which I have told to no one. Among these has been one--not now so distinct as it was before my four years of campaigning--of one day meeting in deadly combat the painted Indian of the plains; of listening undismayed to his frightful war-whoop, and of exemplifying in my own person the inevitable result of the pale-face's superior intelligence. But upon this particular Sunday morning I relinquished this idea informally, but forever. Before the advance of these diminutive warriors I quailed contemptibly, and their battle-cry sent more terror to my soul than that member ever experienced from the well-remembered rebel yell. According to Toddie, I was going to "fwolic" THEM; but from the first they took the whole business into their own little but effective hands. Toddie pronounced my knees, collectively a-horsie "bonnie," and bestrode them, laughing gleefully at my efforts to unseat him, and holding himself in position by digging his pudgy fingers into whatever portions of my anatomy he could most easily seize. Budge shouted, "I want a horsie, too!" and seated himself upon my chest. "This is the way the horsie goes," explained he, as he slowly rocked himself backward and forward. I began to realize how my brother-in-law, who had once been a fine gymnast, had become so flat-chested. Just then Budge's face assumed a more spirited expression, his eyes opened wide and lightened up, and, shouting, "This the way the horsie TROTS," he stood upright, threw up his feet, and dropped his forty-three avoirdupois pounds forcibly upon my lungs. He repeated this operation several times before I fully recovered from the shock conveyed by his combined impudence and weight; but pain finally brought my senses back, and with a wild plunge I unseated my demoniac riders and gained a clear space in the middle of the floor. "Ah--h--h--h--h--h--h," screamed Toddie, "I wants to wide horshie backen." "Boo--oo--oo--oo--," roared Budge, "I think you're real mean. I don't love you at all." Regardless alike of Toddie's desires, of Budge's opinion, and the cessation of his regard, I performed a hasty toilet. Notnwithstanding my lost rest, savagely thanked the Lord for Sunday; at church, at least, I could be free from my tormentors. At the breakfast-table both boys invited themselves to accompany me to the sanctuary, but I declined without thanks. To take them might be to assist somewhat in teaching them one of the best of habits, but I strongly doubted whether the severest Providence would consider it my duty to endure the probable consequences of such an attempt. Besides I MIGHT meet Miss Mayton. I both hoped and feared I might, and I could not, endure the thought of appearing before her with the causes of my pleasant REMEMBRANCE. Budge protested and Toddie wept, but I remained firm, although I was so willing to gratify their reasonable desires that I took them out for a long ante-service walk. While enjoying this little trip I delighted the children by killing a snake and spoiling a slender cane at the same time, my own sole consolation coming from the discovery that the remains of the staff were sufficient to make a cane for Budge. While returning to the house and preparing for church I entered into a solemn agreement with Budge, who was usually recognized as the head of this fraternal partnership. Budge contracted, for himself and brother, to make no attempts to enter my room; to refrain from fighting; to raise loose dirt only with a shovel, and to convey it to its destination by means other than their own hats and aprons; to pick no flowers; to open no water-faucets; to refer all disagreements to the cook, as arbitrator, and to build no houses of the new books which I had stacked upon the library table. In consideration of the promised faithful observance of these conditions I agreed that Budge should be allowed to come alone to Sabbath school, which convened directly after morning service, he to start only after Maggie had pronounced him duly cleansed and clothed. As Toddie was daily kept in bed from eleven to one, I felt that I might safely worship without distracting fears, for Budge could not alone, and in a single hour, become guilty of any particular sin. The church at Hillcrest had many more seats than members, and as but few summer visitors had yet appeared in the town, I was conscious of being industriously stared at by the native members of the congregation. This was of itself discomfort enough, but not all to which I was destined, for the usher conducted me quite near to the altar, and showed me into a pew whose only other occupant was Miss Mayton! Of course the lady did not recognize me--she was too carefully bred to do anything of the sort in church, and I spent ten uncomfortable minutes in mentally abusing the customs of good society. The beginning of the service partially ended my uneasiness, for I had no hymn-book,--the pew contained none,--so Miss Mayton kindly offered me a share in her own. And yet so faultlessly perfect and stranger-like was her manner that I wondered whether her action might not have been prompted merely by a sense of Christian duty; had I been the Khan of Tartary she could not have been more polite and frigid. The music to the first hymn was an air I had never heard before, so I stumbled miserably through the tenor, although Miss Mayton rendered the soprano without a single false note. The sermon was longer than I was in the habit of listening to, and I was frequently conscious of not listening at all. As for my position and appearance, neither ever seemed so insignificant as they did throughout the entire service. The minister reached "And finally, dear brethren," with my earnest prayers for a successful and speedy finale. It seemed to me that the congregation sympathized with me, for there was a general rustle behind me as these words were spoken. It soon became evident, however, that the hearers were moved by some other feeling, for I heard a profound titter or two behind me. Even Miss Mayton turned her head with more alacrity than was consistent with that grace which usually characterized her motions, and the minister himself made a pause of unusual length. I turned in my seat, and saw my nephew Budge, dressed in his best, his head irreverently covered, and his new cane swinging in the most stylish manner. He paused at each pew, carefully surveyed its occupants, seemed to fail in finding the object of his search, but continued his efforts in spite of my endeavors to catch his eye. Finally, he recognized a family acquaintance, and to him he unburdened his bosom by remarking, in tones easily heard throughout the church:-- "I want to find my uncle." Just then he caught my eye, smiled rapturously, hurried to me and laid his rascally soft cheek confidingly against mine, while an audible sensation pervaded the church. What to do or say to him I scarcely knew; but my quandary was turned to wonder, as Miss Mayton, her face full of ill-repressed mirth, but her eyes full of tenderness, drew the little scamp close to her, and Mssed him soundly. At the same instant, the minister, not without some little hesitation, said, "Let us pray." I hastily bowed my head, glad of a chance to hide my face; but as I stole a glance at the cause of this irreligious disturbance, I caught Miss Mayton's eye. She was laughing so violently that the contagion was unavoidable, and I laughed all the harder as I felt that one mischievous boy had undone the mischief caused by another. After the benediction, Budge was the recipient of a great deal of attention, during the confusion of which I embraced the opportunity to say to Miss Mayton:-- "Do you still sustain my sister in her opinion of my nephews, Miss Mayton?" "I think they're too funny for anything," replied the lady, with great enthusiasm. "I DO wish you would bring them to call upon me. I'm longing to see an ORIGINAL young gentleman." "Thank you," said I. "And I'll have Toddie bring a bouquet by way of atonement." "Do," she replied, as I allowed her to pass from the pew. The word was an insignificant one, but it made me happy once more. "You see, Uncle Harry," exclaimed Budge, as we left the church together, "the Sunday-school wasn't open yet, an' I wanted to hear if they'd sing again in church; so I came in, an' you wasn't in papa's seat, an' I knew you was SOMEwhere, so I LOOKED for you." "Bless you," thought I, snatching him into my arms as if to hurry him into Sabbath school, but really to give him a kiss of grateful affection, "you did right--EXACTLY right." My Sunday dinner was unexceptional in point of quantity and quality, and a bottle of my brother-in-law's claret proved to be most excellent; yet a certain uneasiness of mind prevented my enjoying the meal as thoroughly as under other circumstances I might have done. My uneasiness came of a mingled sense of responsibility and ignorance. I felt that it was the proper thing for me to see that my nephews spent the day with some sense of the requirements and duties of the Sabbath; but how I was to bring it about, I hardly knew. The boys, were too small to have Bible-lessons administered to them, and they were too lively to be kept quiet by any ordinary means. After a great deal of thought, I determined to consult the children themselves, and try to learn what their parents' custom had been. "Budge," said I, "what do you do Sundays when your papa and mama are home? What do they read to you,--what do they talk about?" "Oh, they swing us--lots!" said Budge, with brightening eyes. "An' zey takes us to get jacks," observed Toddie. "Oh, yes!" exclaimed Budge; "jacks-in-the-pulpit--don't you know?" "Hum--ye--es; I do remember some such thing in my youthful days. They grow where there's plenty of mud, don't they?" "Yes, an' there's a brook there, an' ferns, an' birch-bark, an' if you don't look out you'll tumble into the brook when you go to get birch." "An' we goes to Hawksnest Rock," piped Toddie, "an' papa carries us up on his back when we gets tired." "An' he makes us whistles," said Budge. "Budge," said I, rather hastily, "enough. In the language of the poet "'These earthly pleasures I resign,' and I'm rather astonished that your papa hasn't taught you to do likewise. Don't he ever read to you?" "Oh, yes," cried Budge, clapping his hands, as a happy thought struck him. "He gets down the Bible--the great BIG Bible, you know--an' we all lay on the floor, an' he reads us stories out of it. There's David, an' Noah, an' when Christ was a little boy, an' Joseph, an' turnbackPharo'sarmyhallelujah--" "And what?" "TurnbackPharo'sarmyhallelujah," repeated Budge. "Don't you know how Moses held out his cane over the Red Sea, an' the water went way up one side, an' way up the other side, and all the Isrulites went across? It's just the same thing as DROWNoldPharo'sarmyhallelujah--don't you know?" "Budge," said I, "I suspect you of having heard the Jubilee Singers." "Oh, and papa and mama sings us all those Jubilee songs--there's 'Swing Low,' an' 'Roll Jordan,' an' 'Steal Away,' an' 'My Way's Cloudy,' an' 'Get on Board, Childuns,' an' lots. An' you can sing us every one of 'em." "An' papa takes us in the woods, an' makesh us canes," said Toddie. "Yes," said Budge, "and where there's new houses buildin', he takes us up ladders." "Has he any way of putting an extension on the afternoon?" I asked. "I don't know what that is," said Budge, "but he puts an India-rubber blanket on the grass, and then we all lie down an' make b'lieve we're soldiers asleep. Only sometimes when we wake up papa stays asleep, an' mama won't let us wake him. I don't think that's a very nice play." "Well, I think Bible stories are nicer than anything else, don't you?" Budge seemed somewhat in doubt. "I think swingin' is nicer," said he--"oh, no;--let's get some jacks--I'LL tell you what!--make us whistles an' we can blow on 'em while we're goin' to get the jacks. Toddie, dear, wouldn't YOU like jacks and whistles?" "Yesh--an' swingin'--an' birch--an' wantsh to go to Hawksnesh Rock," answered Toddie. "Let's have Bible stories first," said I. "The Lord mightn't like it if you didn't learn anything good to-day." "Well," said Budge, with the regulation religious-matter-of-duty-face, "let's. I guess I like 'bout Joseph best." "Tell us 'bout Bliaff," suggested Toddie. "Oh, no, Tod," remonstrated Budge; "Joseph's coat was just as bloody as Goliath's head was." Then Budge turned to me and explained that "all Tod likes Goliath for is 'cause when his head was cut off it was all bloody." And then Toddie--the airy sprite whom his mother described as being irresistibly drawn to whatever was beautiful--Toddie glared upon me as a butcher's apprentice might stare at a doomed lamb, and remarked:-- "Bliaff's head was all bluggy, an' David's sword was all bluggy--bluggy as everyfing." I hastily breathed a small prayer, opened the Bible, turned to the story of Joseph, and audibly condensed it as I read:-- "Joseph was a good little boy whose papa loved him very dearly. But his brothers didn't like him. And they sold him, to go to Egypt. And he was very smart, and told the people what their dreams meant, and he got to be a great man. And his brothers went to Egypt to buy corn, and Joseph sold them some, and then he let them know who he was. And he sent them home to bring their papa to Egypt, and then they all lived there together." "That ain't it," remarked Toddie, with the air of a man who felt himself to be unjustly treated. "Is it, Budge?" "Oh, no," said Budge, "you didn't read it good a bit; I'LL tell you how it is. Once there was a little boy named Joseph, an' he had eleven budders--they was AWFUL eleven budders. An' his papa gave him a new coat, an' his budders hadn't nothin' but their old jackets to wear. An' one day he was carryin' 'em their dinner, an' they put him in a deep, dark hole, but they didn't put his nice new coat in--they killed a kid, an' dipped the coat--just think of doin' that to a nice new coat--they dipped it in the kid's blood, an' made it all bloody." "All bluggy," echoed Toddie, with ferocious emphasis. Budge continued:-- "But there were some Ishmalites comin' along that way, and the awful eleven budders took him out of the deep dark hole, an' sold him to the Ishmalites, an' they sold him away down in Egypt. An' his poor old papa cried, an' cried, 'cause he thought a big lion ate Joseph up; but he wasn't ate up a bit; but there wasn't no post-office nor choo-choos, [Footnote: railway cars] nor stages in Egypt, an' there wasn't any telegraphs, so Joseph couldn't let his papa know where he was; an' he got so smart an' so good that the king of Egypt let him sell all the corn an' take care of the money; an' one day some men came to buy some corn, an' Joseph looked at 'em an' there they was his own budders! An' he scared 'em like everything; I'D have SLAPPED 'em all if I'D been Joseph, but he just scared 'em, an' then he let 'em know who he was, an' he kissed 'em an' he didn't whip 'em, or make 'em go without their breakfast, or stand in a corner, nor none of them things; an' then he sent 'em back for their papa, an' when he saw his papa comin', he ran like everything, and gave him a great big hug and a kiss. Joseph was too big to ask his papa if he'd brought him any candy, but he was awful glad to see him. An' the king gave Joseph's papa a nice farm, an' they all had real good times after that." "And they dipped the coat in the blood; an' made it all bluggy," reiterated Toddie. "Uncle Harry," said Budge, "what do you think MY papa would do if he thought I was all ate up by a lion? I guess he'd cry AWFUL, don't you? Now tell us another story--oh, I'LL tell you--read us 'bout--" "'Bout Bliaff," interrupted Toddie. "YOU tell ME about him, Toddie," said I. "Why," said Toddie, "Bliaff was a brate bid man, an' Dave was brate little man, an' Bliaff said, 'Come over here'n an' I'll eat you up,' an' Dave said, '_I_ ain't fyaid of you.' So Dave put five little stones in a sling an' asked de Lord to help him, an' let ze sling go bang into bequeen Bliaff's eyes an' knocked him down dead, an' Dave took Bliaff's sword an' sworded Bliaff's head off, an' made it all bluggy, an' Bliaff runned away." This short narration was accompanied by more spirited and unexpected gestures than Mr. Gough ever puts into a long lecture. "I don't like 'bout Goliath at all," remarked Budge. "I'D like to hear 'bout Ferus." "Who?" "Ferus; don't you know?" "Never heard of him, Budge." "Why--y--y--!" exclaimed Budge; "didn't you have no papa when you was a little boy?" "Yes, but he never told me about any one named Ferus; there's no such person named in Anthon's Classical Dictionary, either. What sort of a man was he?" "Why, once there was a man, an' his name was Ferus--Offerus, an' he went about fightin' for kings, but when any king got afraid of anybody, he wouldn't fight for him no more. An' one day he couldn't find no kings that wasn't afraid of nobody. An' the people told him the Lord was the biggest king in the world, an' he wasn't afraid of nobody or nothing. An' he asked 'em where he could find the Lord, and they said he was way up in heaven so nobody couldn't see him but the angels, but he liked folks to WORK for him instead of fight. So Ferus wanted to know what kind of work he could do, an' the people said there was a river not far off, where there wasn't no ferry-boats, cos the water run so fast, an' they guessed if he'd carry folks across, the Lord would like it. So Ferus went there, and he cut him a good, strong cane, an' whenever anybody wanted to go across the river he'd carry 'em on his back. "One night he was sittin' in his little house by the fire, and smokin' his pipe an' readin' the paper, an' 'twas rainin' an' blowin' an' hailin' an' stormin', an' he was so glad there wasn't anybody wantin' to go 'cross the river, when he heard somebody call out 'Ferus!' An' he looked out the window, but he couldn't see nobody, so he sat down again. Then somebody called 'Ferus!' again, and he opened the door again, an' there was a little bit of a boy, 'bout as big as Toddie. An' Ferus said, 'Hullo, young fellow, does your mother know you're out?' An' the little boy said, 'I want to go 'cross the river.'--'Well,' says Ferus, 'you're a mighty little fellow to be travelin' alone, but hop up.' So the little boy jumped up on Ferus's back, and Ferus walked into the water. Oh, my--WASN'T it cold? An' every step he took that little boy got heavier, so Ferus nearly tumbled down an' they liked to both got drownded. An' when they got across the river Ferus said, 'Well, you ARE the heaviest small fry I ever carried,' an' he turned around to look at him, an' 'twasn't no little boy at all--'twas a big man--'twas Christ. An' Christ said, 'Ferus, I heard you was tryin' to work for me, so I thought I'd come down an' see you, an' not let you know who I was. An' now you shall have a new name; you shall be called CHRISTofferus, cos that means Christ-carrier.' An' everybody called him Christofferus after that, an' when he died they called him SAINT Christopher, cos Saint is what they called good people when they're dead." Budge himself had the face of a rapt saint as he told this story, but my contemplation of his countenance was suddenly arrested by Toddie, who, disapproving of the unexciting nature of his brother's recital, had strayed into the garden, investigated a hornet's nest, been stung, and set up a piercing shriek. He ran in to me, and as I hastily picked him up, he sobbed:-- "Want to be wocked. [Footnote: Rocked.] Want 'Toddie one boy day.'" I rocked him violently, and petted him tenderly, but again he sobbed:-- "Want 'Toddie one boy day.'" "What DOES the child mean?" I exclaimed. "He wants you to sing to him about 'Charley boy one day,'" said Budge. "He always wants mamma to sing that when he's hurt, an' then he stops crying." "I don't know it," said I. "Won't 'Roll, Jordan,' do, Toddie?" "I'LL tell you how it goes," said Budge, and forthwith the youth sang the following song, a line at a time, I following him in words and air:-- "Where is my little bastik [Footnote: Basket.] gone?" Said Charley, one boy day; "I guess some little boy or girl Has taken it away. "An' kittie, too--where ISH she gone? Oh dear, what shall I do? I wish I could my bastik find, An' little kittie, too. "I'll go to mamma's room an' look; Perhaps she may be there; For kittie likes to take a nap In mamma's easy chair. "O mamma, mamma, come an' look See what a little heap! Here's kittie in the bastik here, All cuddled down to sleep." Where the applicability of this poem to my nephew's peculiar trouble appeared, I could not see, but as I finished it, his sobs gave place to a sigh of relief. "Toddie," said I, "do you love your Uncle Harry?" "Esh, I DO love you." "Then tell me how that ridiculous song comforts you." "Makes me feel good, an' all nicey," replied Toddie. "Wouldn't you feel just as good if I sang, 'Plunged in a gulf of dark despair'?" "No, don't like dokdishpairs; if a dokdishpair done anyfing to me, I'd knock it right down dead." With this extremely lucid remark, our conversation on this particular subject ended; but I wondered, during a few uneasy moments, whether the temporary mental aberration which had once afflicted Helen's grandfather and mine was not reappearing in this, his youngest descendant. My wondering was cut short by Budge, who remarked, in a confident tone:-- "Now, Uncle Harry, we'll have the whistles, I guess." I acted upon the suggestion, and led the way to the woods. I had not had occasion to seek a hickory sapling before for years; not since the war, in fact, when I learned how hot a fire small hickory sticks would make. I had not sought wood for whistles since--gracious, nearly a quarter of a century ago! The dissimilar associations called up by these recollections threatened to put me in a frame of mind which might have resulted in a bad poem, had not my nephews kept up a lively succession of questions such as no one but children can ask. The whistles completed, I was marched, with music, to the place where the "Jacks" grew. It was just such a place as boys instinctively delight in--low, damp, and boggy, with a brook hiding treacherously away under overhanging ferns and grasses. The children knew by sight the plant which bore the "Jacks," and every discovery was announced by a piercing shriek of delight. At first I looked hurriedly toward the brook as each yell clove the air; but, as I became accustomed to it, my attention was diverted by some exquisite ferns. Suddenly, however, a succession of shrieks announced that something was wrong, and across a large fern I saw a small face in a great deal of agony. Budge was hurrying to the relief of his brother, and was soon as deeply imbedded as Toddie was in the rich black mud, at the bottom of the brook. I dashed to the rescue, stood astride the brook, and offered a hand to each boy, when a treacherous tuft of grass gave way, and, with a glorious splash, I went in myself. This accident turned Toddie's sorrow to laughter, but I can't say I made light of my misfortune on that account. To fall into CLEAN water is not pleasant, even when one is trout-fishing; but to be clad in white pants, and suddenly drop nearly knee-deep in the lap of mother Earth is quite a different thing. I hastily picked up the children, and threw them upon the bank, and then wrathfully strode out myself, and tried to shake myself as I have seen a Newfoundland dog do. The shake was not a success--it caused my trouser-leg to flap dismally about my ankles, and sent the streams of loathsome ooze trickling down into my shoes. My hat, of drab felt, had fallen off by the brookside, and been plentifully spattered as I got out. I looked at my youngest nephew with speechless indignation. "Uncle Harry," said Budge, "'twas real good of the Lord to let you be with us, else Toddie might have been drownded." "Yes," said I, "and I shouldn't have much--" "Ocken Hawwy," cried Toddie, running impetuously toward me, pulling me down, and patting my cheek with his muddy black hand, "I LOVES you for takin' me out de water." "I accept your apology," said I, "but let's hurry home." There was but one residence to pass, and that, thank fortune, was so densely screened by shrubbery that the inmates could not see the road. To be sure, we were on a favorite driving road, but we could reach home in five minutes, and we might dodge into the woods if we heard a carriage coming. Ha! There came a carriage already, and we--was there ever a sorrier-looking group? There were ladies in the carriage, too--could it be--of course it was--did the evil spirit, which guided those children always, send an attendant for Miss Mayton before he began operations? There she was, anyway--cool, neat, dainty, trying to look collected, but severely flushed by the attempt. It was of no use to drop my eyes, for she had already recognized me; so I turned to her a face which I think must have been just the one--unless more defiant--that I carried into two or three cavalry charges. "You seem to have been having a real good time together," said she, with a conventional smile, as the carriage passed. "Remember, you're all going to call on me tomorrow afternoon." Bless the girl! Her heart was as quick as her eyes--almost any other young lady would have devoted her entire energy to laughing on such an occasion, but SHE took her earliest opportunity to make me feel at ease. Such a royal hearted woman deserves to--I caught myself just here, with my cheeks growing quite hot under the mud Toddie had put on them, and I led our retreat with a more stylish carriage than my appearance could possibly have warranted, and then I consigned my nephews to the maid with very much the air of an officer turning over a large number of prisoners he had captured. I hastily changed my soiled clothing for my best--not that I expected to see any one, but because of a sudden increase in the degree of respect I felt toward myself. When the children were put to bed, and I had no one but my thoughts for companions, I spent a delightful hour or two in imagining as possible some changes of which I had never dared to think before. On Monday morning I was in the garden at sunrise. Toddie was to carry his expiatory bouquet to Miss Mayton that day, and I proposed that no pains should be spared to make his atonement as handsome as possible. I canvassed carefully every border, bed, and detached flowering plant until I had as accurate an idea of their possibilities as if I had inventoried the flowers in pen and ink. This done, I consulted the servant as to the unsoiled clothing of my nephews. She laid out their entire wardrobe for my inspection, and after a rigid examination of everything I selected the suits which the boys were to wear in the afternoon. Then I told the girl that the boys were going with me after dinner to call on some ladies, and that I desired that she should wash and dress them carefully. "Tell me just what time you'll start, sir, and I'll begin an hour beforehand," said she. "That's the only way to be sure that they don't disgrace you." For breakfast we had, among other things, some stewed oysters served in soup-plates. "O Todd," shrieked Budge, "there's the turtle-plates again--oh, AIN'T I glad!" "Oo--ee--turtle pyates," squealed Toddie. "What on earth do you mean, boys?" I demanded. "I'll show you," said Budge, jumping down from his chair and bringing his plate of oysters cautiously toward me. "Now you just put your head down underneath my plate, and look up, and you'll see a turtle." For a moment I forgot that I was not at a restaurant, and I took the plate, held it up, and examined its bottom. "There!" said Budge, pointing to the trademark, in colors, of the makers of the crockery, "don't you see the turtle?" I abruptly ordered Budge to his seat, unmoved even by Toddie's remark, that-- "Dey ish turtles, but dey can't knawl awound like udder turtles." After breakfast I devoted a great deal of fussy attention to myself. Never did my own wardrobe seem so meager and ill-assorted; never did I cut myself so many times while shaving; never did I use such unsatisfactory shoe-polish. I finally gave up in despair my effort to appear genteel, and devoted myself to the bouquet. I cut almost flowers enough to dress a church, and then remorselessly excluded every one which was in the least particular imperfect. In making the bouquet I enjoyed the benefit of my nephews' assistance and counsel and took enforced part in conversation which flowers suggested. "Ocken Hawwy," said Toddie, "ish heaven all like this, wif pretty f'owers? Cos I don't see what ze angels ever turns out for if 'tis." "Uncle Harry," said Budge, "when the leaves all go up and down and wriggle around so, are they talking to the wind?" "I--I guess so, old fellow." "Who are you making that bouquet for, Uncle Harry?" asked Budge. "For a lady--for Miss Mayton--that lady that saw us all muddy yesterday afternoon," said I. "Oh, I like her," said Budge. "She looks so nice and pretty--just like a cake--just as if she was good to eat--Oh, I just love her, don't YOU?" "Well, I respect her very highly, Budge." "'Spect? What does 'spect mean?" "Why, it means that I think she's a lady--a real pleasant lady-just the nicest sort of lady in the world--the sort of person I'd like to see every day, and like to see her better than any one else." "Oh, why, 'spect an' love means just the same thing, don't they, Uncle Har--" "Budge," I exclaimed, somewhat hastily "run ask Maggie for a piece of string--quick!" "All right," said Budge, moving off, "but they DO, don't they?" At two o'clock I instructed Maggie to dress my nephews, and at three we started to make our call. To carry Toddie's bouquet, and hold a hand of each boy so as to keep them from darting into the hedges for grasshoppers, and the gutters for butterflies, was no easy work, but I managed to do it. As we approached Mrs. Clarkson's boarding-house I felt my hat was over one ear, and my cravat awry, but there was no opportunity to rearrange them, for I saw Alice Mayton on the piazza, and felt that she saw me. Handing the bouquet to Toddie, and promising him three sticks of candy if he would be careful and not drop it, we entered the garden. The moment we were inside the hedge and Toddie saw a man going over the lawn with a lawn-mower, he shrieked: "Oh, deresh a cutter-grass!" and dropped the bouquet with the carelessness born of perfect ecstasy. I snatched it before it reached the ground, dragged the offending youth up the walk, saluted Miss Mayton, and told Toddie to give the bouquet to the lady. This he succeeded in doing, but as Miss Mayton thanked him and stooped to kiss him he wriggled off the piazza like a little eel, shouted, "Tum on!" to his brother, and a moment later my nephews were following the "cutter-grass" at a respectful distance in the rear. "Those are my sister's best children in the world, Miss Mayton," said I. "Bless the little darlings!" replied the lady; "I DO love to see children enjoying themselves." "So do I," said I, "when I'm not responsible for their well-being; but if the effort I've expended on those boys had been directed toward the interests of my employers, those worthy gentlemen would consider me invaluable." Miss Mayton made some witty reply, and we settled to a pleasant chat about mutual acquaintances, about books, pictures, music, and the gossip of our set. I would cheerfully have discussed Herbert Spencer's system, the Assyrian Tablets, or any other dry subject with Miss Mayton, and felt that I was richly repaid by the pleasure of seeing her. Handsome, intelligent, composed, tastefully dressed, without a suspicion of the flirt or the languid woman of fashion about her, she awakened to the uttermost every admiring sentiment and every manly feeling. But, alas, my enjoyment was probably more than I deserved, so it was cut short. There were other ladies boarding at Mrs. Clarkson's, and as Miss Mayton truthfully observed at our first meeting, men were very scarce at Hillcrest. So the ladies, by the merest accident, of course, happened upon the piazza, and each one was presented to me, and common civility made it impossible for me to speak to Miss Mayton more than once in ten minutes. At any other time and place I should have found the meeting of so many ladies a delightful experience, but now-- Suddenly a compound shriek arose from the lawn, and all the ladies sprang to their feet. I followed their example, setting my teeth firmly and viciously, hoping that whichever nephew had been hurt was BADLY hurt. We saw Toddie running towards us with one hand in his mouth, while Budge ran beside him, exclaiming:-- "POOR little Toddie! Don't cry! DOES it hurt you awful? Never mind--Uncle Harry'll comfort you. Don't cry, Toddie DE-ar!" Both boys reached the piazza steps, and clambered up, Budge exclaiming:-- "O, Uncle Harry, Toddie put his fingers in the little wheels of the cutter-grass, an' it turned just the least little biddie, an' it hurted him." But Toddie ran up to me, clasped my legs, and sobbed. "Sing 'Toddie one boy day.'" My blood seemed to freeze. I could have choked that dreadful child, suffering though he was. I stooped over him, caressed him, promised him candy, took out my watch and gave it to him to play with, but he returned to his original demand. A lady--the homeliest in the party--suggested that she should bind up his hand, and I inwardly blessed her, but he reiterated his request for "Toddie one boy day," and sobbed pitifully. "What DOES he mean?" asked Miss Mayton. "He wants Uncle Harry to sing, 'Charley boy one day,'" explained Budge; "he always wants that song when he's hurt any way." "Oh, do sing it to him, Mr. Burton," pleaded Miss Mayton; and all the other ladies exclaimed, "Oh, do!" I wrathfully picked him up in my arms, and hummed the air of the detested song. "Sit in a wockin'-chair," sobbed Toddie. I obeyed; and then my tormentor remarked:-- "You don't sing the wydes (words),--I wants the wydes." I sang the words as softly as possible with my lips close to his ear, but he roared:-- "Sing louder." "I don't know any more of it, Toddie," I exclaimed in desperation. "Oh, I'll tell it all to you, Uncle Harry," said Budge. And there, before that audience, and HER, I was obliged to sing that dreadful doggerel, line for line, as Budge repeated it. My teeth were set tight, my brow grew clammy, and I gazed upon Toddie with terrible thoughts in my mind. No one laughed--I grew so desperate that a titter would have given relief. At last I heard some one whisper:-- "SEE how he loves him! Poor man!--he's in perfect agony over the little fellow." Had not the song reached its natural end just then, I believe I should have tossed my wounded nephew over the piazza rail. As it was, I set him upon his feet, announced the necessity of our departure, and began to take leave, when Miss Mayton's mother insisted that we should stay to dinner. "For myself, I should be delighted, Mrs. Mayton," said I; "but my nephews have hardly learned company manners yet. I'm afraid my sister wouldn't forgive me if she heard I had taken them out to dinner." "Oh, I'll take care of the little dears," said Miss Mayton; "they'll be good with ME, I KNOW." "I couldn't be so unkind as to let you try it, Miss Mayton," I replied. But she insisted, and the pleasure of submitting to her will was so great that I would have risked even greater mischief. So Miss Mayton sat down to dinner with Budge upon one side and Toddie on the other, while I was fortunately placed opposite, from which position I could indulge in warning winks and frowns. The soup was served. I signaled the boys to tuck their napkins under their chins, and then turned to speak to the lady on my right. She politely inclined her head toward me, but her thoughts seemed elsewhere; following her eyes, I beheld my youngest nephew with his plate upraised in both hands, his head on the table-cloth, and his eyes turned painfully upward. I dared not speak, for fear he would drop the plate. Suddenly he withdrew his head, put on an angelic smile, tilted his plate so part of its contents sought refuge in the fold of Miss Mayton's dainty, snowy dress, while the offender screamed:-- "Oo--ee--!--zha turtle on my pyate!--Budgie, zha turtle on my pyate!" Budge was about to raise the plate when he caught my eye and desisted. Poor Miss Mayton actually looked discomposed for the first time in her life, so far as I knew or could imagine. She recovered quickly, however, and treated that wretched boy with the most Christian forbearance and consideration during the remainder of the meal. When the dessert was finished she quickly excused herself, while I removed Toddie to a secluded corner of the piazza, and favored him with a lecture which caused him to howl pitifully, and compelled me to caress him and undo all the good which my rebukes had done. Then he and Budge removed themselves to the lawn, while I awaited Miss Mayton's reappearance, to offer an apology for Toddie, and to make our adieus. It was the custom of the ladies at Mrs. Clarkson's to stroll about the lovely rural walks after dinner and until twilight; and on this particular evening they departed in twos and threes, leaving me to make my apology without witnesses. I was rather sorry they went; it was not pleasant to feel that I was principally responsible for my nephews' blunder, and to have no opportunity to allay my conscience-pangs by conversation. It seemed to me Miss Mayton was forever in appearing; I even called up my nephews to have some one to talk to. Suddenly she appeared, and in an instant I fervently blessed Toddie and the soup which the child had sent upon its aimless wanderings. I would rather pay the price of a fine dress than try to describe Miss Mayton's attire; I can only say that in style, color and ornament it became her perfectly, and set off the beauties of a face which I had never before thought was more than pleasing and intelligent. Perhaps the anger which was excusable after Toddie's graceless caper had something to do with putting unusual color into her cheeks, and a brighter sparkle than usual in her eyes. Whatever was the cause, she looked queenly, and I half imagined that I detected in her face a gleam of satisfaction at the involuntary start which her unexpected appearance caused me to make. She accepted my apology for Toddie with queenly graciousness, and then, instead of proposing that we should follow the other ladies, as a moment before I had hoped she would, she dropped into a chair. I accepted the invitation; the children should have been in bed half an hour before, but my sense of responsibility had departed when Miss Mayton appeared. The little scamps were safe until they should perform some new and unexpected act of impishness. They retired to one end of the piazza, and busied themselves in experiments upon a large Newfoundland dog, while I, the happiest man alive, talked to the glorious woman before me, and enjoyed the spectacle of her radiant beauty. The twilight came and deepened, but imagination prevented the vision from fading. With the coming of the darkness and the starlight, our voices unconsciously dropped to lower tones, and HER voice seemed purest music. And yet we said nothing which all the world might not have listened to without suspecting a secret. The ladies returned in little groups, but either out of womanly intuition or in answer to my unspoken but fervent prayers, passed us and went into the house. I was affected by an odd mixture of desperate courage and despicable cowardice. I determined to tell her all, yet I shrank from the task with more terror than ever befell me in the first steps of a charge. Suddenly a small shadow came from behind us and stood between us, and the voice of Budge remarked:-- "Uncle Harry 'spects you, Miss Mayton." "Suspects me?--of what, pray?" exclaimed the lady, patting my nephew's cheek. "Budge!" said I--I feel that my voice rose nearly to a scream--"Budge, I must beg of you to respect the sanctity of confidential communications." "What is it, Budge?" persisted Miss Mayton; "you know the old adage, Mr. Burton: 'Children and fools speak the truth.' Of what does he suspect me, Budge?" "'Tain't SUS-pect at all," said Budge, "it's es-pect." "Expect?" echoed Miss Mayton. "No, not 'ex,' it's ES-spect. I know all about it, 'cause I asked him. Espect is what folks do when they think you're nice, and like to talk to you, and--" "Respect is what the boy is trying to say, Miss Mayton," I interrupted, to prevent what I feared might follow. "Budge has a terrifying faculty for asking questions, and the result of some of them, this morning, was my endeavor to explain to him the nature of the respect in which gentlemen hold ladies." "Yes," continued Budge, "I know all about it. Only Uncle Harry don't say it right. What he calls espect _I_ calls LOVE." There was an awkward pause--it seemed an age. Another blunder, and all on account of those dreadful children. I could think of no possible way to turn the conversation; stranger yet, Miss Mayton could not do so either. Something MUST be done--I could at least be honest, come what would--I would be honest. "Miss Mayton," said I, hastily, earnestly, but in a very low tone, "Budge is a marplot, but he is a truthful interpreter for all that. But whatever my fate may be, please do not suspect me of falling suddenly into love for a holiday's diversion. My malady is of some months' standing. I--" "I want to talk SOME," observed Budge. "You talk all the whole time. I--I--when _I_ loves anybody I kisses them." Miss Mayton gave a little start, and my thoughts followed each other with unimagined rapidity. SHE did not turn the conversation--it could not be possible that she COULD not. She was not angry, or she would have expressed herself. Could it be that-- I bent over her and acted upon Budge's suggestion. As she displayed no resentment, I pressed my lips a second time to her forehead, then she raised her head slightly, and I saw, in spite of darkness and shadows, that Alice Mayton had surrendered at discretion. Taking her hand and straightening myself to my full height, I offered to the Lord mere fervent thanks than he ever heard from me in church. Then I heard Budge say, "_I_ wants to kiss you, too," and I saw my glorious Alice snatch the little scamp into her arms, and treat him with more affection than I ever imagined was in her nature. Then she seized Toddie, and gave him a few tokens of forgiveness--I dare not think they were of gratitude. Suddenly two or three ladies came upon the piazza. "Come, boys," said I. "Then I'll call with the carriage tomorrow at three, Miss Mayton. Good evening." "Good evening," replied the sweetest voice in the world; "I'll be ready at three." "Budge," said I, as soon as we were fairly outside the hedge-gate, "what do you like better than anything else in the world?" "Candy," said Budge, very promptly. "What next?" "Oranges." "What next?" "Oh, figs, an' raisins, an' dear little kittie-kitties, an' drums, an' picture-books, an' little bakin' dishes to make mud-pies in, an' turtles, an' little wheelbarrows." "Anything else?" "Oh, yes--great big black dogs--an' a goat, an' a wagon for him to draw me in." "Very well, old fellow--you shall have every one of those things tomorrow." "Oh--h--h--h--h!" exclaimed Budge, "I guess you're something like the Lord, ain't you?" "What makes you think so, Budge?" "Oh, 'cause you can do such lots of things at once. But ain't poor little Tod goin' to have noffin'?" "Yes, everything he wants. What would you like, Toddie?" "Wants a candy cigar," replied Toddie. "What else?" "Don't want NUFFIN' else--don't want to be boddered wif LOTS of fings." The thoughts which were mine that night--the sense of how glorious a thing it is to be a man and be loved--the humility that comes with such a victory as I had gained--the rapid alternation of happy thoughts and noble resolutions--what man is there who does not know my whole story better than I can tell it? I put my nephews to bed; I told them every story they asked for; and when Budge, in saying his prayers, said "an' bless that nice lady that Uncle Harry 'spects," I interrupted his devotions with a hearty hug. The children had been awake so far beyond their usual hour for retiring that they dropped asleep without giving any special notice of their intention to do so. Asleep, their faces were simply angelic. As I stood, candle in hand, gazing gratefully upon them, I remembered a sadly neglected duty. I hurried to the library and wrote the following to my sister: "HILLCREST, Monday Night. "DEAR HELEN:--I should have written you before had I been exactly certain what to say about your boys. I confess that until now I have been blind to some of their virtues, and have imagined I detected an occasional fault. But the scales have fallen from my eyes, and I see clearly that my nephews are angels--positively angels. If I seem to speak extravagantly, I beg to refer you to Alice Mayton for collateral evidence. Don't come home at all--everything is just as it should be--even if you come, I guess I'll invite myself to spend the rest of the summer with you; I've changed my mind about its being a bore to live out of town and take trains back and forth every day. Ask Tom to think over such bits of real estate in your neighborhood as he imagines I might like. "I repeat it, the boys are angels, and Alice Mayton is another, while the happiest man in the white goods trade is "Your affectionate brother "HARRY." Early next morning I sought the society of my nephews. It was absolutely necessary that I should overflow to SOME one--some one who was sympathetic and innocent and pure. I longed for my sister--my mother, but to SOME one I must talk at once. Budge fulfilled my requirements exactly; he was an excellent listener, very sympathetic by nature, and quick to respond. Not the wisdom of the most reverend sage alive could have been so grateful to my ear as that child's prattle was on that delightful morning. As for Toddie--blessed be the law of compensation! his faculty of repetition, and of echoing whatever he heard said, caused him to murmur "Miff Mayton, Miff Mayton," all morning long, and the sound gained in sweetness by its ceaseless iteration. To be sure, Budge took early and frequent occasions to remind me of my promises of the night before, and Toddie occasionally demanded the promised candy cigar; but these very interruptions only added joy to my own topic of interest each time it was resumed. The filling of Budge's orders occupied two or three hours and all the vacant space in the carriage; even then the goat and goat-carriage were compelled to follow behind. The program for the afternoon was arranged to the satisfaction of every one. I gave the coachman, Mike, a dollar to harness the goat and teach the children to drive him; this left me free to drive off without being followed by two small figures and two pitiful howls. I always believed a horse was infected by the spirit of his driver. My dear old four-footed military companions always seemed to perfectly comprehend my desires and intentions, and certainly my brother-in-law's horses entered into my own spirits on this particular afternoon. They stepped proudly, they arched their powerful necks handsomely, their feet seemed barely to touch the ground; yet they did not grow restive under the bit, nor were they frightened even at a hideous steam road-rolling machine which passed us. As I drove up to Mrs. Clarkson's door I found that most of the boarders were on the piazza--the memories of ladies are usually good at times. Alice immediately appeared, composed of course, but more radiant than ever. "Why, where are the boys?" she exclaimed. "I was afraid they might annoy your mother," I replied, "so I left them behind." "Oh, mother hardly feels well enough to go today," said she; "she is lying down." "Then we can pick up the boys on the road," said I, for which remark, my enchantress, already descending the steps, gave me a look which the ladies behind her would have given their best switches to have seen. We drove off as decorously as if it were Sunday and we were driving to church; we industriously pointed out to each other every handsome garden and tasteful residence we passed; we met other people driving, and conversed fluently upon their horses, carriages and dress. But when we reached the edge of the town, and I turned into "Happy Valley," a road following the depressions and curves of a long, well-wooded valley, in which there was not a single straight line, I turned and looked into my darling's face. Her eyes met mine, and, although they were full of a happiness which I had never seen in them before, they filled with tears, and their dear owner dropped her head on my shoulder. What we said on that long drive would not interest the reader. I have learned by experience to skip all love talks in novels; no matter how delightful the lovers may be. Recalling now our conversation, it does not seem to me to have had anything wonderful it in. I will only say that if I had been happy on the evening before, my happiness now seemed to be sanctified; to be favored with the love and confidence of a simple girl scarcely past her childhood is to receive a greater honor than court or field can bestow; but even this honor is far surpassed by that which comes to a man when a woman of rare intelligence, tact and knowledge of society and the world, unburdens her heart of all its hopes and fears, and unhesitatingly leaves her destiny to be shaped by his love. Women like Alice Mayton do not thus give themselves unreservedly away except when their trust is born of knowledge as well as affection, and the realization of all this changed me on that afternoon from whatever I had been into what I had long hoped I might one day be. But the hours flew rapidly, and I reluctantly turned the horses' heads homeward. We had left almost the whole of "Happy Valley" behind us, and were approaching residences again. "Now we must be very proper," said Alice. "Certainly," I replied, "here's a good--by to happy nonsense for this afternoon." I leaned toward her, and gently placed one arm about her neck; she raised her dear face, from which joy and trust had banished every indication of caution and reserve, my lips sought hers, when suddenly we heard a most unearthly, discordant shriek, which presently separated into two, each of which prolonged itself indefinitely. The horses started, and Alice--blessed be all frights, now, henceforth, and forevermore!--clung tightly to me. The sounds seemed to be approaching us, and were accompanied by a lively rattling noise, that seemed to be made by something wooden. Suddenly, as we approached a bend of the road, I saw my youngest nephew appear from some unknown space, describe a parabolic curve in the air, ricochet slightly from an earthy protuberance in the road, and make a final stop in the gutter. At the same time there appeared, from behind the bend, the goat, then the carriage dragging on one side, and lastly, the boy Budge, grasping tightly the back of the carriage body, and howling frightfully. A direct collision between the carriage and a stone caused Budge to loose his hold, while the goat, after taking in the scene, trotted leisurely off, and disappeared in a road leading to the house of his late owner. "Budge," I shouted, "stop that bawling, and come here. Where's Mike?" "He--boo--hoo--went to--hoo--light his--boo--hoo--hoo--pipe, an' I just let the--boo--hoo--whip go against to the goat, an' then he scattooed." "Nashty old goat scaddooed," said Toddie, in corroboration. "Well, walk right home, and tell Maggie to wash and dress you," said I. "O Harry," pleaded Alice, "after they've been in such danger! Come here to your own Aunt Alice, Budgie dear,--and you, too, Toddie,--you know you said we could pick the boys up on the road, Harry. There, there--don't cry--let me wipe the ugly old dirt off you, and kiss the face, and make it well." "Alice," I protested, "don't let those dirty boys clamber all over you in that way." "Silence, sir," said she, with mock dignity; "who gave me my lover, I should like to ask?" So we drove up to the boarding-house with the air of people who had been devoting themselves to a couple of very disreputable children, and I drove swiftly away again, lest the children should dispel the illusion. We soon met Mike, running. The moment he recognized us, he shouted:-- "Aye, ye little dhivils,--beggin' yer pardon, Masther Harry, an' thankin' the Howly Mither that their good-for-nothin' little bones ain't broke to bits. Av they saw a hippypottymus hitched to Pharaoh's chariot, they'd think 'emselves jist the byes to take the bossin' av it, the spalpeens." But no number of ordinary hippopotami and chariots could have disturbed the heavenly tranquillity of my mind on this most glorious of evenings. Even a subtle sense of the fitness of things seemed to overshadow my nephews. Perhaps the touch of my enchantress did it; perhaps it came only from the natural relapse from great excitement; but no matter what the reason was, the fact remains that for the rest of the evening two very dirty suits of clothes held two children who gave one some idea of how the denizens of Paradise might seem and act. They even ate their suppers without indulging in any of the repulsive ways of which they had so large an assortment, and they did not surreptitiously remove from the table any fragments of bread and butter to leave on the piano, in the card-basket, and other places inappropriate to the reception of such varieties of abandoned property. They demanded a song after supper, but when I sang, "Drink to Me only with Thine Eyes," and "Thou, Thou, Reign'st in this Bosom," they stood by with silent tongues and appreciative eyes. When they went to bed, I accompanied them by special invitation, but they showed no disposition to engage in the usual bedtime frolic and miniature pandemonium. Budge, when in bed, closed his eyes, folded his hand and prayed:-- "Dear Lord, bless papa an' mamma, an' Toddie, an' Uncle Harry, an' everybody else; yes, an' bless just lots that lovely, lovely lady that comforted me after the goat was bad to me, an' let her comfort me lots of times, for Christ's sake, Amen." And Toddie wriggled, twisted, breathed heavily, threw his head back, and prayed: "Dee Lord, don't let dat old goat fro me into de gutter on my head aden, an' let Ocken Hawwy an' ze pitty lady be dere netst time I dest hurted." Then the good-night salutations were exchanged, and I left the little darlings and enjoyed communion with my own thoughts which were as peaceful and ecstatic as if the world contained no white goods houses, no doubtful customers, no business competition, no politics, gold rooms, stock-boards, doubtful banks, political scandals, personal iniquity, nor anything which should prevent a short vacation from lasting through a long lifetime. The next morning would have struck terror to the heart of any one but a newly accepted lover. Rain was falling fast, and in that steady, industrious manner which seemed to assert an intention to stick closely to business for the whole day. The sky was covered by one impenetrable leaden cloud, water stood in pools in the streets which were soft with dust a few hours before; the flowers all hung their heads like vagabonds who had been awake all night and were ashamed to face the daylight. Even the chickens stood about in dejected attitudes, and stray roosters from other poultry-yards found refuge in Tom's coop without first being subjected to a trial of strength and skill by Tom's game-cock. But no man in my condition of mind could be easily depressed by bad weather. I would rather have been able to drive about under a clear sky, or lounge under the trees, or walk to the post-office in the afternoon by the road which passed directly in front of Mrs. Clarkson's boarding-house; but man should not live for himself alone. In the room next mine were slumbering two wee people to whom I owed a great deal, who would mourn bitterly when they saw the condition of the skies and ground--I would devote myself to the task of making THEM so happy that they would forget the absence of sunshine out of doors--I would sit by their bedside and have a story ready for them the moment they awoke, and put them in such a good humor that they could laugh, with me, at cloud and rain. I began at once to construct a story for their especial benefit; the scene was to be a country residence on a rainy day, and the actors two little boys who should become uproariously jolly in spite of the weather. Like most people not used to story-making, my progress was not very rapid; in fact, I had got no farther than the plot indicated above when an angry snarl came from the children's room. "What's the matter, Budge?" I shouted, dressing myself as rapidly as possible. "Ow--oo--ya--ng--um--boc--gaa," was the somewhat complicated response. "What did you say, Budge?" "Didn't say noffin'." "Oh--that's what I thought." "DIDN'T thought." "Budge,--Budge,--be good." "Don't WANT to be good--YA--A--A." "Let's have some fun, Budge--don't you want to frolic?" "No; I don't think frolic is nice." "Don't you want some candy, Budge?" "No--you ain't GOT no candy, I bleeve." "Well, you sha'n't have any if you don't stop being so cross." The only reply to this was a mighty and audible rustling of the bedding in the boys' room, followed by a sound strongly resembling that caused by a slap; then came a prolonged wail, resembling that of an ungreased wagon-wheel. "What's the matter, Toddie?" "Budge s'apped me--ah--h--h--h!" "What made you slap your brother, Budge?" "I DIDN'T." "You DID," screamed Toddie. "I tell you I didn't--you're a naughty, bad boy to tell such lies, Toddie." "What DID you do, Budge?" I asked. "Why--why--I was--I was turnin' over in bed, an' my hand was out, and it tumbled against to Toddie--that's what." By this time I was dressed and in the boy's room. Both my nephews were sitting up in bed, Budge looking as sullen as an old jail-bird, and Toddie with tears streaming all over his face. "Boys," said I, "don't be angry with each other--it isn't right. What do you suppose the Lord thinks when he sees you so cross to each other?" "He don't think noffin'," said Budge; "you don't think he can look through a black sky like that, do you?" "He can look anywhere, Budge, and he feels very unhappy when he sees little brothers angry with each other." "Well, I feel unhappy, too--I wish there wasn't never no old rain, nor nothin'." "Then what would the plants and flowers do for a drink, and where would the rivers come from for you to go sailing on?" "An' wawtoo to mate mud-pies," added Toddie. "You's a naughty boy, Buggie;" and here Toddie's tears began to flow afresh. "I AIN'T a bad boy, an' I don't want no old rain nohow, an' that's all about it. An' I don't want to get up, an' Maggie must bring me up my breakfast in bed." "Boo--hoo--oo," wept Toddie, "wants my brepspup in bed too." "Boys," said I, "now listen. You can't have any breakfast at all unless you are up and dressed by the time the bell rings. The rising bell rang some time ago. Now dress like good boys, and you shall have some breakfast, and then you'll feel a great deal nicer, and then Uncle Harry will play with you and tell you stories all day long." Budge crept reluctantly out of bed and caught up one of his stockings, while Toddie again began to cry. "Toddie," I shouted, "stop that dreadful racket, and dress yourself. What are you crying for?" "Well, I feelsh bad." "Well, dress yourself, and you'll feel better." "Wantsh YOU to djesh me." "Bring me your clothes, then--quick!" Again the tears flowed copiously. "Don't WANT to bring 'em," said Toddie. "Then come here!" I shouted, dragging him across the room, and snatching up his tiny articles of apparel. I had dressed no small children since I was rather a small boy myself, and Toddie's clothing confused me somewhat. I finally got something on him, when a contemptuous laugh from Budge interrupted me. "How you goin' to put his shirt on under them things?" queried my oldest nephew. "Budge," I retorted, "how are you going to get any breakfast if you don't put on something besides that stocking?" The young man's countenance fell, and just then the breakfast bell rang. Budge raised a blank face, hurried to the head of the stairs and shouted:-- "Maggie?" "What is it, Budge?" "Was--was that the rising-bell or the breakfast-bell?" "'Twas the breakfast-bell." There was dead silence for a moment, and then Budge shouted:-- "Well, we'll call that the risin'-bell. You can ring another bell for breakfast pretty soon when I get dressed." Then this volunteer adjuster of household affairs came calmly back and commenced dressing in good earnest, while I labored along with Toddie's wardrobe. "Where's the button-hook, Budge?" said I. "It's--I--oh--um--I put it--say, Tod, what did you do with the button-hook yesterday?" "Didn't hazh no button-hook," asserted Toddie. "Yes, you did; don't you remember how we was a playin' draw teef, an' the doctor's dog had the toofache, and I was pullin' his teef with the button-hook, an' you was my little boy, an' I gived the toof-puller to you to hold for me? Where did you put it?" "I'D no," replied Toddie, putting his hand in his pocket and bringing out a sickly-looking toad. "Feel again," said I, throwing the toad out the window, where it was followed by an agonizing shriek from Toddie. Again he felt, and his search was rewarded by the tension screw of Helen's sewing-machine. Then I attempted some research myself, and speedily found my fingers adhering to something of a sticky consistency. I quickly withdrew my hand, exclaiming:-- "What nasty stuff HAVE you got in your pocket, Toddie?" "'Taint nashty' tuff--it's byead an' 'lasses, an' its nice, an' Budge an' me hazh little tea-parties in de kicken-coop, an' we eats it, an' it's DOVELY." All this was lucid and disgusting, but utterly unproductive of button-hooks, and meanwhile the breakfast was growing cold. I succeeded in buttoning Toddie's shoes with my fingers, splitting most of my nails in the operation. I had been too busily engaged with Toddie to pay any attention to Budge, who I now found about half dressed and trying to catch flies on the windowpane. Snatching Toddie, I started for the dining-room, when Budge remarked reprovingly:-- "Uncle Harry, YOU wasn't dressed when the bell rang, and YOU oughtn't to have any breakfast." True enough--I was minus collar, cravat, and coat. Hurrying these on, and starting again, I was once more arrested:-- "Uncle Harry, must I brush my teeth this morning?" "No--hurry up--come down without doing anything more, if you like, but COME--it'll be dinner-time before we get breakfast." Then that imp was moved, for the first time that morning, to something like good-nature, and he exclaimed with a giggle:-- "My! What big stomachs we'd have when we got done, wouldn't we?" At the breakfast table Toddie wept again, because I insisted on beginning operations before Budge came. Then neither boys knew exactly what he wanted. Then Budge managed to upset the contents of his plate into his lap, and while I was helping him clear away the debris, Toddie improved the opportunity to pour his milk upon his fish, and put several spoonfuls of oatmeal porridge into my coffee-cup. I made an early excuse to leave the table and turn the children over to Maggie. I felt as tired as if I had done a hard day's work, and was somewhat appalled at realizing that the day had barely begun. I lit a cigar and sat down to Helen's piano. I am not a musician, but even the chords of a hand-organ would have seemed sweet music to me on that morning. The music-book nearest to my hand was a church hymn-book, and the first air my eye struck was "Greenville." I lived once in a town, where, on a single day, a pedler disposed of thirty-eight accordeons, each with an instruction-book in which this same air under its original name was the ONLY air. For years after, a single bar of this air awakened the most melancholy reflections in my mind, but now I forgave all my musical tormentors as the familiar strains came comfortingly from the piano-keys. But suddenly I heard an accompaniment--a sort of reedy sound--and, looking around, I saw Toddie again in tears. I stopped abruptly and asked:-- "What's the matter NOW, Toddie?" "Don't want dat old tune; wantsh dancin' tune, so I can dance." I promptly played "Yankee Doodle," and Toddie began to trot around the room with the expression of a man who intended to do his whole duty. Then Budge appeared, hugging a bound volume of "St. Nicholas." The moment Toddie espied this he stopped dancing and devoted himself anew to the task of weeping. "Toddie," I shouted, springing from the piano-stool, "what do you mean by crying at everything? I shall have to put you to bed again, if you're going to be such a baby." "That's the way he ALWAYS does, rainy days," explained Budge. "Wantsh to see the whay-al what fwollowed Djonah," sobbed Toddie. "Can't you demand something that's within the range of possibility, Toddie?" I mildly asked. "The whale Toddie means is in this big red book,--I'll find it for you," said Budge, turning over the leaves. Suddenly a rejoicing squeal from Toddie announced that leviathan had been found, and I hastened to gaze. He was certainly a dreadful-looking animal, but he had an enormous mouth, which Toddie caressed with his pudgy little hand, and kissed with tenderness, murmuring as he did so:-- "DEE old whay-al, I loves you. Is Jonah all goneded out of you 'tomach, whay-al? I finks 'twas weal mean in Djonah to get froed up when you hadn't noffin' else to eat, POOR old whay-al." "Of COURSE Jonah's gone," said Budge, "he went to heaven long ago--pretty soon after he went to Nineveh an' done what the Lord told him to do. Now swing us, Uncle Harry." The swing was on the piazza under cover from the rain; so I obeyed. Both boys fought for the right to swing first, and when I decided in favor of Budge, Toddie went off weeping, and declaring that he would look at his dear whay-al anyhow. A moment later his wail changed to a piercing shriek; and running to his assistance, I saw him holding one finger tenderly and trampling on a wasp. "What's the matter, Toddie?" "Oo--oo--ee--ee--ee--EE--I putted my finger on a waps, and--oo--oo--the nasty waps--oo--bited me. An' I don't like wapses a bit, but I likes whay-als--oo--ee--ee." A happy thought struck me. "Why don't you boys make believe that big packing-box in your play-room is a whale?" said I. A compound shriek of delight followed the suggestion, and both boys scrambled upstairs, leaving me a free man again. I looked remorsefully at the tableful of books which I had brought to read, and had not looked at for a week. Even now my remorse did not move me to open them--I found myself instead attracted toward Tom's library, and conning the titles of novels and volumes of poems. My eye was caught by "Initial,"--a love-story which I had always avoided because I had heard impressible young ladies rave about it; but now I picked it up and dropped into an easy chair. Suddenly I heard Mike the coachman shouting:-- "Go away from there, will ye? Ah, ye little spalpeen, it's good for ye that yer fahder don't see ye perched up dhere. Go way from dhat, or I'll be tellin' yer uncle." "Don't care for nasty old uncle," piped Toddie's voice. I laid down my book with a sigh, and went into the garden. Mike saw me and shouted:-- "Misther Burthon, will ye look dhere? Did ye's ever see the loike av dhat bye?" Looking up at the play-room window, a long, narrow sort of loop-hole in a Gothic gable, I beheld my youngest nephew standing upright on the sill. "Toddie, go in--quick!" I shouted, hurrying under the window to catch him in case he fell outward. "I tan't," squealed Toddie. "Mike, run up-stairs and snatch him in; Toddie, go on, I tell you!" "Tell you I TAN'T doe in," repeated Toddie. "ZE bit bots ish ze whay-al, an' I'ez Djonah, an' ze whay-al's froed me up, an' I'ze dot to 'tay up here else ze whay-al 'ill fwallow me aden." "I won't LET him swallow you. Get in now--hurry," said I. "Will you give him a penny not to fwallow me no more?" queried Toddie. "Yes--a whole lot of pennies." "Aw wight. Whay-al, don't you fwallow me no more, an' zen my Ocken Hawwy div you whole lots of pennies. You must be weal dood whay-al now, an' then I buys you some tandy wif your pennies, an'--" Just then two great hands seized Toddie's frock in front, and he disappeared with a howl, while I, with the first feeling of faintness I had ever experienced, went in search of hammer, nails, and some strips of board, to nail on the outside of the window-frame. But boards could not be found, so I went up to the play-room and began to knock a piece or two off the box which had done duty as whale. A pitiful scream from Toddie caused me to stop. "You're hurtin' my dee old whay-al; you's brakin' his 'tomach all open--you's a baddy man--'TOP hurtin' my whay-al, ee--ee--ee," cried my nephew. "I'm not hurting him, Toddie," said I; "I'm making his mouth bigger, so he can swallow you easier." A bright thought came into Toddie's face and shone through his tears. "Then he can fwallow Budgie too, an' there'l be two Djonahs--ha--ha--ha! Make his mouf so big he can fwallow Mike, an' zen mate it 'ittle aden, so Mike tan' det OUT; nashty old Mike!" I explained that Mike would not come upstairs again, so I was permitted to depart after securing the window. Again I settled myself with book and cigar; there was at least for me the extra enjoyment that comes from the sense of pleasure earned by honest toil. Pretty soon Budge entered the room. I affected not to notice him, but he was not in the least abashed by my neglect. "Uncle Harry," said he, throwing himself in my lap between my book and me, "I don't feel a bit nice." "What's the matter, old fellow?" I asked. Until he spoke I could have boxed his ears with great satisfaction to myself; but there is so much genuine feeling in whatever Budge says that he commands respect. "Oh, I'm tired of playin' with Toddie, an' I feel lonesome. Won't you tell me a story?" "Then what'll poor Toddie do, Budge?" "Oh, he won't mind--he's got a dead mouse to be Jonah now, so I don't have no fun at all. Won't you tell me a story?" "Which one?" "Tell me one that I never heard before at all." "Well, let's see; I guess I'll tell--" "Ah--ah--ah--ah--ee--ee--ee," sounded afar off, but fatefully. It came nearer--it came down the stairway and into the library, accompanied by Toddie, who, on spying me, dropped his inarticulate utterance, held up both hands, and exclaimed:-- "Djonah bwoke he tay-al!" True enough; in one hand Toddie held the body of a mouse, and in the other that animal's caudal appendage; there was also perceptible, though not by the sense of sight, an objectionable odor in the room. "Toddie," said I, "go throw Jonah into the chicken-coop, and I'll give you some candy." "Me too," shouted Budge, "cos I found the mouse for him." I made both boys happy with candy, exacted a pledge not to go out in the rain, and then, turning them loose on the piazza, returned to my book. I had read perhaps half-a-dozen pages when there arose and swelled rapidly in volume a scream from Toddie. Madly determined to put both boys into chairs, tie them and clap adhesive plaster over their mouths, I rushed out upon the piazza. "Budgie tried to eat my candy," complained Toddie. "I didn't," said Budge. "What DID you do?" I demanded. "I didn't bite it at all--I only wanted to see how it would feel between my teeth--that's all." I felt the corners of my mouth breaking down, and hurried back to the library, where I spent a quiet quarter of an hour in pondering over the demoralizing influence exerted upon principle by a sense of the ludicrous. For some time afterward the boys got along without doing anything worse than make a dreadful noise, which caused me to resolve to find some method of deadening piazza-floors if _I_ ever owned a house in the country. In the occasional intervals of comparative quiet I caught snatches of very funny conversation. The boys had coined a great many words whose meaning was evident enough but I wonder greatly why Tom and Helen had never taught them the proper substitutes. Among others was the word "deader," whose meaning I could not imagine. Budge shouted:-- "O Tod; there comes a deader. See where all them things like rooster's tails are a-shakin'?--Well, there's a deader under them." "Dasth funny," remarked Toddie. "An' see all the peoples a-comin' along," continued Budge, "THEY know 'bout the deader, an' they're goin' to see it fixed. Here it comes. Hello, deader!" "Hay-oh, deader," echoed Toddie. What COULD deader mean? "Oh, here it is right in front of us," cried Budge, "and AIN'T there lots of people? An' two horses to pull the deader--SOME deaders has only one." My curiosity was too much for my weariness; I went to the front window, and, peering through, saw--a funeral procession! In a second I was on the piazza, with my hands on the children's collars; a second later two small boys were on the floor of the hall, the front door was closed, and two determined hands covered two threatening little mouths. When the procession had fairly passed the house I released the boys and heard two prolonged howls for my pains. Then I asked Budge if he wasn't ashamed to talk that way when a funeral was passing. "'TWASN'T a funeral," said he. "'Twas only a deader, an' deaders can't hear nothin'." "But the people in the carriages could," said I. "Well," said he, "they was so glad that the other part of the deader had gone to heaven that they didn't care WHAT I said. Ev'rybody's glad when the other parts of deaders go to heaven. Papa told me to be glad that dear little Phillie was in heaven, an' I WAS, but I do want to see him again awful." "Wantsh to shee Phillie aden awfoo," said Toddie, as I kissed Budge and hurried off to the library, unfit just then to administer farther instruction or reproof. Of one thing I was very certain--I wished the rain would cease falling, so the children could go out of doors, and I could get a little rest, and freedom from responsibility. But the skies showed no signs of being emptied, the boys were snarling on the stairway, and I was losing my temper quite rapidly. Suddenly I bethought me of one of the delights of my own childish days--the making of scrap-books. One of Tom's library drawers held a great many Lady's Journals. Of course Helen meant to have them bound, but I could easily repurchase the numbers for her; they would cost two or three dollars; but peace was cheap at that price. On a high shelf in the playroom I had seen some supplementary volumes of "Mercantile Agency" reports which would in time reach the rag-bag; there was a bottle of mucilage in the library-desk, and the children owned an old pair of scissors. Within five minutes I had located two happy children on the bath-room floor, taught them to cut out pictures (which operation I quickly found they understood as well as I did) and to paste them into the extemporized scrap-book. Then I left them, recalling something from Newman Hall's address on "The Dignity of Labor." Why hadn't I thought before of showing my nephews some way of occupying their mind and hands? Who could blame the helpless little things for following every prompting of their unguided minds? Had I not a hundred times been told, when sent to the wood-pile or the weediest part of the garden in my youthful days, that "Satan finds some mischief still For idle hands to do?" "Never again would I blame children for being mischievous when their minds were neglected. I spent a peaceful, pleasant hour over my novel, when I felt that a fresh cigar would be acceptable. Going up-stairs in search of one I found that Budge had filled the bathtub with water, and was sailing boats, that is, hair-brushes. Even this seemed too mild an offense to call for a rebuke, so I passed on without disturbing him, and went to my own room. I heard Toddie's voice, and having heard from my sister that Toddie's conversations with himself were worth listening to, I paused outside the door. I heard Toddie softly murmur:-- "Zere, pitty yady, 'tay ZERE. Now, 'ittle boy, I put you wif your mudder, tause mudders likes zere 'ittle boys wif zem. An' you sall have 'ittle sister tudder side of you,--zere. Now, 'ittle boy's an' 'ittle girl's mudder, don't you feel happy?--isn't I awfoo good to give you your 'ittle tsilderns? You ought to say, 'Fank you, Toddie,--you'se a nice, fweet 'ittle djentleman.'" I peered cautiously--then I entered the room hastily. I didn't say anything for a moment, for it was impossible to do justice, impromptu, to the subject. Toddie had a progressive mind--if pictorial ornamentation was good for old books, why should not similar ornamentation be extended to objects more likely to be seen? Such may not have been Toddie's line of thought, but his recent operations warranted such a supposition. He had cut out a number of pictures, and pasted them upon the wall of my room--my sister's darling room, with its walls tinted exquisitely in pink. As a member of a hanging committee, Toddie would hardly have satisfied taller people, but he had arranged the pictures quite regularly, at about the height of his own eyes, had favored no one artist more than another, and had hung indiscriminately figure pieces, landscapes, and genre pictures. The temporary break of wall-line, occasioned by the door communicating with his own room, he had overcome by closing the door and carrying a line of pictures across its lower panels. Occasionally, a picture fell off the wall, but the mucilage remained faithful, and glistened with its fervor of devotion. And yet so untouched was I by this artistic display, that when I found strength to shout "Toddie!" it was in a tone which caused this industrious amateur decorator to start violently, and drop his mucilage-bottle, open end first, upon the carpet. "What will mamma say?" I asked. Toddie gazed, first blankly and then inquiringly, into my face; finding no answer or sympathy there, he burst into tears, and replied:-- "I dunno." The ringing of the lunch-bell changed Toddie from a tearful cherub into a very practical, business-like boy, and shouting "Come on, Budge!" he hurried down-stairs, while I tormented myself with wonder as to how I could best and most quickly undo the mischief Toddie had done. I will concede to my nephews the credit of keeping reasonably quiet during meals; their tongues doubtless longed to be active in both the principal capacities of those useful members, but they had no doubt as to how to choose between silence and hunger. The result was a reasonably comfortable half-hour. Just as I began to cut a melon, Budge broke the silence by exclaiming:-- "O Uncle Harry, we haven't been out to see the goat to-day!" "Budge," I replied, "I'll carry you out there under an umbrella after lunch, and you may play with that goat all the afternoon, if you like." "Oh, won't that be nice?" exclaimed Budge. "The poor goat! he'll think I don't love him a bit, 'cause I haven't been to see him to-day. Does goats go to heaven when they die, Uncle Harry?" "Guess not--they'd make trouble in the golden streets, I'm afraid." "Oh, dear! then Phillie can't see my goat. I'm so awful sorry," said Budge. "_I_ can see your goat, Budgie," suggested Toddie. "Huh!" said Budge, very contemptuously. "YOU ain't dead." "Well, Izhe GOIN' to be dead some day 'an zen your nashty old goat sha'n't see me a bit--see how he like ZAT." And Toddie made a ferocious attack on a slice of melon nearly as large as himself. After lunch Toddie was sent to his room to take his afternoon nap, and Budge went to the barn on my shoulders. I gave Mike a dollar, with instructions to keep Budge in sight, to keep him from teasing the goat, and to prevent his being impaled or butted. Then I stretched myself on a lounge, and wondered whether only half a day of daylight had elapsed since I and the most adorable woman in the world had been so happy together. How much happier I would be when next I met her! The very torments of this rainy day would make my joy seem all the dearer and more intense. I dreamed happily for a few moments with my eyes open, and then somehow they closed, without my knowledge. What put into my mind the wreck-scene from the play of "David Copperfield," I don't know; but there it came, and in my dream I was sitting in the balcony at Booth's, and taking a proper interest in the scene, when it occurred to me that the thunder had less of reverberation and more woodenness than good stage thunder should have. The mental exertion I underwent on this subject disturbed the course of my nap, but as wakefulness returned, the sound of the poorly simulated thunder did not cease; on the contrary, it was just as noisy, and more hopelessly a counterfeit than ever. What could the sound be? I stepped through the window to the piazza, and the sound was directly over my head. I sprang down the terrace and out upon the lawn, looked up, and beheld my youngest nephew strutting back and forth on the tin roof of the piazza, holding over his head a ragged old parasol. I roared-- "Go in, Toddie--this instant!" The sound of my voice startled the young man so severely that he lost his footing, fell, and began to roll toward the edge and to scream, both operations being performed with great rapidity. I ran to catch him as he fell, but the outer edge of the water-trough was high enough to arrest his progress, though it had no effect in reducing the volume of his howls. "Toddie," I shouted, "lie perfectly still until uncle can get to you. Do you hear?" "Ess, but don't want to lie 'till," came in reply from the roof. "'Tan't shee noffin' but sky an' rain." "Lie still," I reiterated, "or I'll whip you dreadfully." Then I dashed up-stairs, removed my shoes, climbed out and rescued Toddie, shook him soundly, and then shook myself. "I wazh only djust pyayin' mamma, an' walkin' in ze yain wif an umbayalla," Toddie explained. I threw him upon his bed and departed. It was plain that neither logic, threats, nor the presence of danger could keep this dreadful child from doing whatever he chose; what other means of restraint could be employed? Although not as religious a man as my good mother could wish, I really wondered whether prayer, as a last resort, might not be effective. For his good, and my own peace, I would cheerfully have read through the whole prayer-book. I could hardly have done it just then, though, for Mike solicited an audience at the back door, and reported that Budge had given the carriage-sponge to the goat, put handfuls of oats into the pump-cylinder, pulled hairs out of the black mare's tail, and with a sharp nail drawn pictures on the enamel of the carriage-body. Budge made no denial, but looked very much aggrieved, and remarked that he couldn't never be happy without somebody having to go get bothered; and he wished there wasn't nobody in the world but organ-grinders and candy-store men. He followed me into the house, flung himself into a chair, put on a look which I imagine Byron wore before he was old enough to be malicious, and exclaimed:-- "I don't see what little boys was made for anyhow; if ev'rybody gets cross with them, an' don't let 'em do what they want to. I'll bet when I get to heaven, the Lord won't be as ugly to me as Mike is,--an' some other folks, too. I wish I could die and be buried right away,--me an' the goat--an' go to heaven, where we wouldn't be scolded." Poor little fellow! First I laughed inwardly at his idea of heaven, and then I wondered whether my own was very different from it, or any more creditable. I had no time to spend even in pious reflection, however. Budge was quite wet, his shoes were soaking, and he already had an attack of catarrh; so I took him to his room and re-dressed him, wondering all the while how much similar duties my own father had had to do by me had shortened his life, and how, with such a son as I was, he lived as long as he did. The idea that I was in some slight degree atoning for my early sins, so filled my thoughts, that I did not at first notice the absence of Toddie. When it DID become evident to me that my youngest nephew was not in the bed in which I had placed him, I went in search of him. He was in none of the chambers, but hearing gentle murmurs issue from a long, light closet, I looked in and saw Toddie sitting on the floor, and eating the cheese out of a mouse-trap. A squeak of my boots betrayed me, and Toddie, equal to the emergency, sprang to his feet and exclaimed:-- "I didn't hurt de 'ittle mousie one bittie; I just letted him out, and he runded away." And still it rained. Oh, for a single hour of sunlight, so that the mud might be only damp dirt, and the children could play without tormenting other people! But it was not to be; slowly, and by the aid of songs, stories, an improvised menagerie, in which I personated every animal, besides playing ostrich and armadillo, and a great many disagreements, the afternoon wore to its close, and my heart slowly lightened. Only an hour or two more, and the children would be in bed for the night, and then I would enjoy, in unutterable measure, the peaceful hours which would be mine. Even now they were inclined to behave themselves; they were tired and hungry, and stretched themselves on the floor, to await dinner. I embraced the opportunity to return to my book, but I had hardly read a page, when a combined crash and scream summoned me to the dining-room. On the floor lay Toddie, a great many dishes, a roast leg of lamb, several ears of green corn, the butter-dish and its contents, and several other misplaced edibles. One thing was quite evident; the scalding contents of the gravy-dish had been emptied on Toddie's arm, and how severely the poor child might be scalded I did not know. I hastily slit open his sleeve from wrist to shoulder, and found the skin very red; so, remembering my mother's favorite treatment for scalds and burns, I quickly spread the contents of a dish of mashed potato on a clean handkerchief, and wound the whole around Toddie's arm as a poultice. Then I demanded an explanation. "I was only djust reatchin for a pieshe of bwed," sobbed Toddie, "an' then the bad old tabo beginded to froe all its fings at me, an' tumble down bang." He undoubtedly told the truth as far as he knew it, but reaching over tables is a bad habit in small boys, especially when their mothers cling to old-fashioned heirlooms of tables, which have folding leaves; so I banished Toddie to his room, supperless, to think of what he had done. With Budge alone, I had a comfortable dinner off the salvage from the wreck caused by Toddie, and then I went up-stairs to see if the offender had repented. It was hard to tell, by sight, whether he had or not, for his back was to me, as he flattened his nose against the window, but I could see that my poultice was gone. "Where is what uncle put on your arm, Toddie?" I asked. "I ate it up," said the truthful youth. "Did you eat the handkerchief, too?" "No; I froed nashty old handkerchief out the window--don't want dirty old handkerchiefs in my nice 'ittle room." I was so glad that his burn had been slight that I forgave the insult to my handkerchief and called up Budge, so that I might at once get both boys into bed, and emerge from the bondage in which I had lived all day long. But the task was no easy one. Of course my brother-in-law, Tom Lawrence, knows better than any other man the necessities of his own children, but no children of mine shall ever be taught so many methods of imposing upon parental good nature. Their program called for stories, songs, moral conversations, frolics, the presentation of pennies, the dropping of the same, at long intervals, into tin savings banks, followed by a deafening shaking-up of both banks; then a prayer must be offered, and no conventional one would be tolerated; then the boys performed their own devotions, after which I was allowed to depart with an interchange of "God bless you's." As this evening I left the room with their innocent benedictions sounding in my ears, a sense of personal weakness, induced by the events of the day, moved me to fervently respond "Amen!" Mothers of American boys, accept from me a tribute of respect, which no words can fitly express--of wonder greater than any of the great things of the world ever inspired--of adoration as earnest and devout as the Catholic pays to the Virgin. In a single day, I, a strong man, with nothing else to occupy my mind, am reduced to physical and mental worthlessness by the necessities of two boys not overmischievous or bad. And you--Heaven only knows how--have unbroken weeks, months, years, yes, lifetimes of just such experiences, and with them the burden of household cares, of physical ills and depressions, of mental anxieties that pierce your hearts with as many sorrows as grieved the Holy Mother of old. Compared with thy endurance, that of the young man, the athlete, is as weakness; the secret of thy nerves, wonderful even in their weakness, is as great as that of the power of the winds. To display decision, thy opportunities are more frequent than those of the greatest statesman; thy heroism laughs into insignificance that of fort and field; thou art trained in a school of diplomacy such as the most experienced court cannot furnish. Do scoffers say thou canst not hold the reins of government? Easier is it to rule a band of savages than to be the successful autocrat of thy little kingdom. Compared with the ways of men, even thy failures are full of glory. Be thy faults what they may, thy one great, mysterious, unapproachable success places thee, in desert, far above warrior, rabbi or priest. The foregoing soliloquy passed through my mind as I lay upon the bed where I had thrown myself after leaving the children's room. Whatever else attempted to affect me mentally found my mind a blank until the next morning, when I awoke to realize that I had dropped asleep just where I fell, and that I had spent nearly twelve hours lying across a bed in an uncomfortable position, and without removing my daily attire. My next impression was that quite a bulky letter had been pushed under my chamber-door. Could it be that my darling--I hastily seized the envelope and found it addressed in my sister's writing, and promising a more voluminous letter than that lady had ever before honored me with. I opened it, dropping an enclosure which doubtless was a list of necessities which I would please pack, etc., and read as follows:-- "JULY 1, 1875. "MY DEAR OLD BROTHER:--WOULDN'T I like to give you the warmest of sisterly hugs? I can't believe it, and yet I'm in ecstasies over it. To think that you should have got that perfection of a girl, who has declined so many great catches--YOU, my sober, business-like, unromantic big brother--oh, it's too wonderful! But now I think of it, you're just the people for each other. I'd like to say that it's just what I'd always longed for, and that I invited you to Hillcrest to bring it about; but the trouble with such a story would be that it wouldn't have a word of truth in it. You always DID have a faculty of doing just what you pleased, and what nobody ever expected you to do, but now you've exceeded yourself. "And to think that my little darlings played an important part in bringing it all about! I shall take the credit for THAT, for if it hadn't been for me, who would have helped you, sir? I shall expect you to remember both of them handsomely at Christmas. "I don't believe I'm guilty of a breach of confidence in sending the enclosed, which I have just received from my sister-in-law that is to be. It will tell you some causes of your success of which you, with a man's conceit, haven't imagined for a minute, and it will tell you, too, of a maiden's first and natural fear under such circumstances,--a fear which I know that you, with your honest, generous heart, will hasten to dispel. As you're a man, you're quite likely to be too stupid to read what's written between the lines; so I'd better tell you that Alice's fear is that in letting herself go so easily she may have seemed to lack proper reserve and self-respect. You don't need to be told that no woman alive has more of these very qualities. "Bless your dear old heart, Harry,--you deserve to be shaken to death if you're not the happiest man alive. I MUST hurry home and see you both with my own eyes, and learn to believe that all this wonderful glorious thing has come to pass. Give Alice a sister's kiss from me (if you know how to give more than one kind), and give my cherubs a hundred each from the mother that wants to see them so much. "With love and congratulations, "HELEN." The other letter, which I opened with considerable reverence and more delight, ran as follows:-- "HILLCREST, June 29, 1875. "DEAR FRIEND HELEN:--Something has happened, and I am very happy, but I am more than a little troubled over it, too, and as you are one of the persons nearly concerned, I am going to confess to you as soon as possible. Harry--your brother, I mean--will be sure to tell you very soon, if he hasn't done so already, and I want to make all possible haste to solemnly assure you that _I_ hadn't the slightest idea of such a thing coming to pass, and I didn't do the slightest thing to bring it about. "I always thought your brother was a splendid fellow, and have never been afraid to express my mind about him, when there was no one but girls to listen. But out here I've somehow learned to admire him more than ever. I cheerfully acquit HIM of intentionally doing anything to create a favorable impression; if his several appearances before me HAVE been studied, he is certainly the most original being I ever heard of. Your children are angels--you've told me so yourself, and I've my own very distinct impression on the subject, but they DON'T study to save their uncle's appearance. The figures that unfortunate man has cut several times--well, I won't try to describe them on paper, for fear he might some day see a scrap of it, and take offense. But he always seems to be patient with them, and devoted to them, and I haven't been able to keep from seeing that a man who could be so lovable with thoughtless and unreasonable children must be perfectly adorable to the woman he loved, if she were a woman at all. Still, I hadn't the faintest idea that I would be the fortunate woman. At last THE day came, but I was in blissful ignorance of what was to happen. Your little Charley hurt himself, and insisted upon Har--your brother singing an odd song to him; and just when the young gentleman was doing the elegant to a dozen of us ladies at once, too! If you COULD have seen his face!--it was too funny, until he got over his annoyance, and began to feel properly sorry for the little fellow--then he seemed all at once to be all tenderness and heart, and I DID wish for a moment that conventionalities didn't exist, and I might tell him that he was a model. Then your youngest playfully spilt a plate of soup on my dress (don't be worried--'twas only a common muslin, and 'twill wash). Of course I had to change it, and as I retired the happy thought struck me that I'd make so elaborate a toilet that I wouldn't finish in time to join the other ladies for the usual evening walk; consequence, I would have a chance to monopolize a gentleman for half an hour or more--a chance which, no thanks to the gentlemen who don't come to Hillcrest, no lady here has had this season. Every time I peered through the blinds to see if the other girls had started, I could see HIM, looking so distressed, and brooding over those two children as if he was their mother, and he seemed so good. He seemed pleased to see ME when I appeared, and coming from such a man, the implied compliment was fully appreciated; everything he said to me seemed a little more worth hearing than if it had come from any man not so good. Then suddenly your eldest insisted on retailing the result of a conversation he had had with his uncle, and the upshot was that Harry declared himself; he wasn't romantic a bit, but he was real straightforward and manly, while I was so completely taken aback that I couldn't think of a thing to say. Then the impudent fellow kissed me, and I lost my tongue worse than ever. If I had known anything of his feelings beforehand, I should have been prepared to behave more properly; but--O Helen, I'm so glad I DIDN'T know! I should be the happiest being that ever lived, if I wasn't afraid that you and your husband might think that I had given myself away too hastily. As to other people, we will see that they don't know a word about it for months to come. "DO write that I was not to blame, and make believe accept me as a sister, because I CAN'T offer to give Harry up to any one else you may have picked out for him. "Your sincere friend, "ALICE MAYTON." Was there ever so delightful a reveille? All the boyishness in me seemed suddenly to come to the surface, and instead of saying and doing the decorous things which novelists' heroes do under similar circumstances, I shouted "Hurrah!" and danced into the children's room so violently that Budge sat up in bed, and regarded me with reproving eyes, while Toddie burst into a happy laugh, and volunteered as a partner in the dance. Then I realized that the rain was over, and the sun was shining--I could take Alice out for another drive, and until then the children could take care of themselves. I remembered suddenly, and with a sharp pang, that my vacation was nearly at an end, and I found myself consuming with impatience to know how much longer Alice would remain at Hillcrest. It would be cruel to wish her in the city before the end of August, yet I-- "Uncle Harry," said Budge, "my papa says 'tisn't nice for folks to sit down and go to thinkin' before they've brushed their hair mornin's--that's what he tells ME." "I beg your pardon, Budge," said I, springing up in some confusion; "I was thinking over a matter of a great deal of importance." "What was it--my goat?" "No--of course not. Don't be silly, Budge." "Well, I think about him a good deal, an' I don't think it's silly a bit. I hope he'll go to heaven when he dies. Do angels have goat-carriages, Uncle Harry?" "No, old fellow--they can go about without carriages." "When _I_ goesh to hebben," said Toddie, rising in bed, "Izhe goin' to have lots of goat-cawidjes an' Izhe goin' to tate all ze andjels a widen." With many other bits of prophecy and celestial description I was regaled as I completed my toilet, and I hurried out of doors for an opportunity to think without disturbance. Strolling past the henyard I saw a meditative turtle, and picking him up and shouting to my nephews I held the reptile up for their inspection. Their window-blinds flew open, and a unanimous though not exactly harmonious "Oh!" greeted my prize. "Where did you get it, Uncle Harry?" asked Budge. "Down by the hen-coop." Budge's eyes opened wide; he seemed to devote a moment to profound thought, and then he exclaimed:-- "Why, I don't see how the hens COULD lay such a big thing--just put him in your hat till I come down, will you?" I dropped the turtle in Budge's wheelbarrow, and made a tour of the flower-borders. The flowers, always full of suggestion to me, seemed suddenly to have new charms and powers; they actually impelled me to try to make rhymes,--me, a steady white-goods salesman! The impulse was too strong to be resisted, though I must admit that the results were pitifully meager:-- "As radiant as that matchless rose Which poet-artists fancy; As fair as whitest lily-blows, As modest as the pansy; As pure as dew which hides within Aurora's sun-kissed chalice; As tender as the primrose sweet-- All this, and more, is Alice." In inflicting this fragment upon the reader, I have not the faintest idea that he can discover any merit in it; I quote it only that a subsequent experience of mine may be more intelligible. When I had composed these wretched lines I became conscious that I had neither pencil nor paper wherewith to preserve them. Should I lose them--my first self-constructed poem? Never! This was not the first time in which I had found it necessary to preserve words by memory alone. So I repeated my ridiculous lines over and over again, until the eloquent feeling of which they were the graceless expression inspired me to accompany my recital with gestures. Six--eight--ten--a dozen--twenty times I repeated these lines, each time with additional emotion and gestures, when a thin voice, very near me, remarked:-- "Ocken Hawwy, you does djust as if you was swimmin'." Turning, I beheld my nephew Toddie--how long he had been behind me I had no idea. He looked earnestly into my eyes and then remarked:-- "Ocken Hawwy, your faysh is wed, djust like a wosy-posy." "Let's go right in to breakfast, Toddie," said I aloud, as I grumbled to myself about the faculty of observation which Tom's children seemed to have. Immediately after breakfast I despatched Mike with a note to Alice, informing her that I would be glad to drive her to the Falls in the afternoon calling for her at two. Then I placed myself unreservedly at the disposal of the boys for the morning, it being distinctly understood that they must not expect to see me between lunch and dinner. I was first instructed to harness the goat, which order I obeyed, and I afterward watched that grave animal as he drew my nephews up and down the carriage-road, his countenance as demure as if he had no idea of suddenly departing when my back should be turned. The wheels of the goat carriage uttered the most heartrending noises I had ever heard from ungreased axle; so I persuaded the boys to dismount, and submit to the temporary unharnessing of the goat, while I should lubricate the axles. Half an hour of dirty work sufficed, with such assistance as I gained from juvenile advice, to accomplish the task properly; then I put the horned steed into the shafts, Budge cracked the whip, the carriage moved off without noise, and Toddie began to weep bitterly. "Cawwidge is all bwoke," said he; "WHEELSH DON'T SING A BITTIE NO MORE," while Budge remarked:-- "I think the carriage sounds kind o' lonesome now, don't you, Uncle Harry?" "Uncle Harry," asked Budge, a little later in the morning, "do you know what makes the thunder?" "Yes, Budge--when two clouds go bump into each other they make a good deal of noise, and they call it thunder." "That ain't it at all," said Budge. "When it thundered yesterday it was because the Lord was riding along through the sky and the wheels of his carriage made an awful noise, an' that was the thunder." "Don't like nashty old 'funder," remarked Toddie. "It goesh into our cellar an' makesh all ze milk sour--Maggie said so. An' so I can't hazh no nice white tea for my brepspup." "I should think you'd like the Lord to go a ridin', Toddie, with all the angels running after him," said Budge, "even if the thunder DOES make the milk sour. And 'tis so splendid to SEE the thunder bang." "How do you see it, Budge?" I asked. "Why, don't you know when the thunder bangs, and then you see an awful bright place in the sky?--that's where the Lord's carriage gives an awful pound, and makes little cracks through the floor of heaven, an' we see right in. But what's the reason we can't ever see anybody through the cracks, Uncle Harry?" "I don't know--old fellow,--I guess it's because it isn't cracks in heaven that look so bright,--it's a kind of fire that the Lord makes up in the clouds. You'll know all about it when you get bigger." "Well, I'll feel awful sorry if 'tain't anything but fire. Do you know that funny song my papa sings 'bout:-- "'Roarin' thunders, lightenin's blazes, Shout the great Creator's praises?'" I don't know zactly what it means, but I think it's kind o' splendid, don't you?" I DID know the old song; I had heard it in a Western camp-meeting, when scarcely older than Budge, and it left upon my mind just the effect it seemed to have done on his. I blessed his sympathetic young heart, and snatched him into my arms. Instantly he became all boy again. "Uncle Harry," he shouted, "you crawl on your hands and knees and play you was a horse, and I'll ride on your back." "No, thank you, Budge, not on the dirt." "Then let's play menagerie, an' you be all the animals." To this proposition I assented, and after hiding ourselves in one of the retired angles of the house, so that no one could know who was guilty of disturbing the peace by such dire noises, the performance commenced. I was by turns a bear, a lion, a zebra, an elephant, dogs of various kinds, and a cat. As I personated the latter-named animals, Toddie echoed my voice. "Miauw! Miauw!" said he, "dat's what cats saysh when they goesh down wells." "Faith, an' it's him that knows," remarked Mike, who had invited himself to a free seat in the menagerie, and assisted in the applause which had greeted each personation. "Would ye belave it, Misther Harry, dhat young dhivil got out the front door one mornin' afore sunroise, all in his little noight-gown, an' wint over to the doctor's an' picked up a kitten lyin' on the kitchen door-mat, an' throwed it down dhe well. The docthor wasn't home, but the missis saw him, an' her heart was dhat tindher that she hurried out and throwed boords down for dhe poor little baste to stand on, an' let down a hoe on a sthring, an' whin she got dhe poor little dhing out, she was dhat faint that she dhrapped on dhe grass. An' it cost Mr. Lawrence nigh onto thirty dollars to have dhe docthor's well claned out." "Yes," said Toddie, who had listened carefully to Mike's recital, "an' kitty-kitty said, 'Miauw! Miauw!' when she goed down ze well. An' Mish Doctor sed, 'Bad boy--go home--don't never tum to my housh no more,'--dat's what she said to me. Now be some more animals, Ocken Hawwy. Can't you be a whay-al?" "Whales don't make a noise, Toddie; they only splash about in the water." "Zen grop in the cistern an' 'plash, can't you?" Lunch-time, and after it the time for Toddie to take his nap. Poor Budge was bereft of a playmate, for the doctor's little girl was sick; so he quietly followed me about with a wistful face, that almost persuaded me to take him with me on my drive--OUR drive. Had he grumbled, I would have felt less uncomfortable; but there's nothing so touching and overpowering to either gods or men as the spectacle of mute resignation. At last, to my great relief, he opened his mouth. "Uncle Harry," said he, "do you 'spose folks ever get lonesome in heaven?" "I guess not, Budge." "Do little boy-angels' papas an' mammas go off visitin', an' stay so long?" "I don't exactly know, Budge, but if they do, the little boy-angels have plenty of other little boy-angels to play with, so they can't very well be lonesome." "Well, I don't b'leeve they could make ME happy, when I wanted to see my papa an' mamma. When I haven't got anybody to play with, then I want papa an' mamma SO bad--so bad as if I would die if I didn't see 'em right away." I was shaving, and only half-done, but I hastily wiped off my face, dropped into a rocking-chair, took the forlorn little boy into my arms, and kissed him, caressed him, sympathized with him, and devoted myself entirely to the task and pleasure of comforting him. His sober little face gradually assumed a happier appearance; his lips parted in such lines as no old master ever put upon angel lips; his eyes from being dim and hopeless, grew warm and lustrous and melting. At last he said:-- "Uncle Harry, I'm EVER so happy now. An' can't Mike go around with me and the goat all the time you're away riding? An' bring us home some candy, an' marbles--oh, yes--an' a new dog." Anxious as I was to hurry off to meet my engagement, I was rather disgusted as I unseated Budge and returned to my razor. So long as he was lonesome and I was his only hope, words couldn't express his devotion, but the moment he had, through my efforts, regained his spirits, his only use for me was to ask further favors. Yet in trying the poor boy, judicially, the evidence was more dangerous to humanity in general than to Budge; it threw a great deal of light upon my own peculiar theological puzzles, and almost convinced me that my duty was to preach a new gospel. As I drove up to the steps of Mrs. Clarkson's boarding-house it seemed to me a month had elapsed since last I was there, and this apparent lapse of time was all that prevented my ascribing to miraculous agencies the wonderful and delightful change that Alice's countenance had undergone in two short days. Composure, quickness of perception, the ability to guard one's self, are indications of character which are particularly in place in the countenance of a young lady in society, but when, without losing these, the face takes on the radiance born of love and trust, the effect is indescribably charming--especially to the eyes of the man who causes the change. Longer, more out-of-the-way roads between Hillcrest and the Falls I venture to say were never known than I drove over that afternoon, and my happy companion, who in other days I had imagined might one day, by her decision, alertness and force exceed the exploits of Lady Baker or Miss Tinne, never once asked if I was sure we were on the right road. Only a single cloud came over her brow, and of this I soon learned the cause. "Harry," said she, pressing closer to my side, and taking an appealing tone, "do you love me well enough to endure something unpleasant for my sake?" My answer was not verbally expressed, but its purport seemed to be understood and accepted, for Alice continued:-- "I wouldn't undo a bit of what's happened--I'm the happiest, proudest woman in the world. But we HAVE been very hasty, for people who have been mere acquaintances. And mother is dreadfully opposed to such affairs--she is of the old style, you know." "It was all my fault," said I. "I'll apologize promptly and handsomely. The time and agony which I didn't consume in laying siege to your heart I'll devote to the task of gaining your mother's good graces." The look I received in reply to this remark would have richly repaid me had my task been to conciliate as many mothers-in-law as Brigham Young possesses. But her smile faded as she said:-- "You don't know what a task you have before you. Mother has a very tender heart, but it's thoroughly fenced in by proprieties. In her day and set, courtship was a very slow, stately affair, and mother believes it the proper way now; so do I, but I admit possible exceptions, and mother doesn't. I'm afraid she won't be patient if she knows the whole truth, yet I can't bear to keep it from her. I'm her only child, you know." "DON'T keep it from her," said I, "unless for some reason of your own. Let me tell the whole story, take all the responsibility, and accept the penalties, if there are any. Your mother is right in principle, if there IS a certain delightful exception that we know of." "My only fear is for YOU," said my darling, nestling closer to me. "She comes of a family that can display most glorious indignation when there's a good excuse for it, and I can't bear to think of YOU being the cause of such an outbreak." "I've faced the ugliest of guns in honor of one form of love, little girl," I replied, "and I could do even more for the sentiment for which YOU'RE to blame. And for my own sake, I'd rather endure anything than a sense of having deceived any one, especially the mother of such a daughter. Besides, you're her dearest treasure, and she has a right to know of even the least thing that in any way concerns you." "And you're a noble fellow, and--" Whatever other sentiment my companion failed to put into words was impulsively and eloquently communicated by her dear eyes. But oh, what a cowardly heart your dear cheek rested upon an instant later, fair Alice! Not for the first time in my life did I shrink and tremble at the realization of what duty imperatively required--not for the first time did I go through a harder battle than was ever fought with sword and cannon, and a battle with greater possibilities of danger than the field ever offered. I won it, as a man must do in such fights, if he deserves to live; but I could not help feeling considerably sobered on our homeward drive. We neared the house, and I had an insane fancy that instead of driving two horses I was astride of one, with spurs at my heels and a saber at my side. "Let me talk to her NOW, Alice, won't you? Delays are only cowardly." A slight trembling at my side,--an instant of silence that seemed an hour, yet within which I could count but six footfalls, and Alice replied:-- "Yes; if the parlor happens to be empty, I'll ask her if she won't go in and see you a moment." Then there came a look full of tenderness, wonder, painful solicitude, and then two dear eyes filled with tears. "We're nearly there, darling," said I, with a reassuring embrace. "Yes, and you sha'n't be the only hero," said she, straightening herself proudly, and looking a fit model for a Cenobia. As we passed from behind a clump of evergreens which hid the house from our view, I involuntarily exclaimed, "Gracious!" Upon the piazza stood Mrs. Mayton; at her side stood my two nephews, as dirty in face, in clothing, as I had ever seen them. I don't know but that for a moment I freely forgave them, for their presence might grant me the respite which a sense of duty would not allow me to take. "Wezhe comed up to wide home wif you," exclaimed Toddie, as Mrs. Mayton greeted me with an odd mixture of courtesy, curiosity and humor. Alice led the way into the parlor whispered to her mother, and commenced to make a rapid exit, when Mrs. Mayton called her back, and motioned her to a chair. Alice and I exchanged sidelong glances. "Alice says you wish to speak with me, Mr. Burton," said she. "I wonder whether the subject is one upon which I have this afternoon received a minute verbal account from the elder Master Lawrence." "If you refer to an apparently unwarrantable intrusion upon your family circle, Mrs.--" "I do, sir," replied the old lady. "Between the statements made by that child, and the hitherto unaccountable change in my daughter's looks during two or three days, I think I have got at the truth of the matter. If the offender were any one else, I should be inclined to be severe; but we mothers of only daughters are apt to have a pretty distinct idea of the merits of young men, and--" The old lady dropped her head; I sprang to my feet, seized her hand, and reverently kissed it; then Mrs. Mayton, whose only son had died fifteen years before, raised her head and adopted me in the manner peculiar to mothers, while Alice burst into tears and kissed us both. A few moments later, as three happy people were occupying conventional attitudes, and trying to compose faces which should bear the inspection of whoever might happen into the parlor, Mrs. Mayton observed:-- "My children, between us this matter is understood, but I must caution you against acting in such a way as to make the engagement public at once." "Trust me for that," hastily exclaimed Alice. "And me," said I. "I have no doubt of the intentions and discretion of either of you," resumed Mrs. Mayton, "but you cannot possibly be too cautious." Here a loud laugh from the shrubbery under the windows drowned Mrs. Mayton's voice for a moment, but she continued: "Servants, children,"--here she smiled, and I dropped my head--"persons you may chance to meet--" Again the laugh broke forth under the window. "What CAN those girls be laughing at?" exclaimed Alice, moving toward the window, followed by her mother and me. Seated in a semicircle on the grass were most of the ladies boarding at Mrs. Clarkson's, and in front of them stood Toddie, in that high state of excitement to which sympathetic applause always raises him. "Say it again," said one of the ladies. Toddie put on an expression of profound wisdom, made violent gestures with both hands and repeated the following, with frequent gesticulations:-- "Azh wadiant azh ze matchless wose Zat poeck-artuss fanshy; Azh fair azh whituss lily-blowzh; Azh moduss azh a panzhy; Azh pure azh dew zat hides wiffin Awwahwah's sun-tissed tsallish; Azh tender azh ze pwimwose fweet All zish, and moah, izh Alish." I gasped for breath. "Who taught you all that, Toddie?" asked one of the ladies. "Nobody didn't taught me--I lyned [Footnote: learned] it." "When did you learn it?" "Lyned it zish mornin'. Ocken Hawwy said it over, an' over, an' over, djust yots of timezh, out in ze garden." The ladies all exchanged glances--my lady readers will understand just how, and I assure gentlemen that I did not find their glances at all hard to read. Alice looked at me inquiringly, and she now tells me that I blushed sheepishly and guiltily. Poor Mrs. Mayton staggered to a chair, and exclaimed:-- "Too late! too late!" Considering their recent achievements, Toddie and Budge were a very modest couple as I drove them home that evening. Budge even made some attempt at apologizing for their appearance, saying that they couldn't find Maggie, and COULDN'T wait any longer; but I assured him that no apology was necessary. I was in such excellent spirits that my feeling became contagious; and we sang songs, told stories, and played ridiculous games most of the evening, paying but little attention to the dinner that was set for us. "Uncle Harry," said Budge, suddenly, "do you know we haven't ever sung,--'Drown old Pharaoh's Army Hallelujah,' since you've been here? Let's do it now." "All right, old fellow." I knew the song--such as there was of it--and its chorus, as EVERY one does who ever heard the Jubilee Singers render it; but I scarcely understood the meaning of the preparations which Budge made. He drew a large rocking-chair into the middle of the room, and exclaimed:-- "There, Uncle Harry--you sit down. Come along, Tod--you sit on that knee, and I'll sit on this. Lift up both hands, Tod, like I do. Now we're all ready, Uncle Harry." I sang the first line,-- "When Israel was in bondage, they cried unto de Lord," without any assistance, but the boys came in powerfully on the refrain, beating time simultaneously with their four fists upon my chest. I cannot think it strange that I suddenly ceased singing, but the boys viewed my action from a different standpoint. "What makes you stop, Uncle Harry?" asked Budge. "Because you hurt me badly, my boy; you mustn't do that again." "Why, I guess you ain't very strong; that's the way we do to papa, an' it don't hurt HIM." Poor Tom! No wonder he grows flat--chested. "Guesh you's a ky--baby," suggested Toddie. This imputation I bore with meekness, but ventured to remark that it was bed-time. After allowing a few moments for the usual expressions of dissent, I staggered up--stairs with Toddie in my arms, and Budge on my back, both boys roaring in refrain of the negro hymn:-- "I'm a rolling through an Unfriendly World." The offer of a stick of candy to whichever boy was first undressed, caused some lively disrobing, after which each boy received the prize. Budge bit a large piece, wedged it between his cheek and his teeth, closed his eyes, folded his hands on his breast, and prayed:-- "Dear Lord, bless papa an' mamma, an' Toddie an' me, an' that turtle Uncle Harry found: and bless that lovely lady Uncle Harry goes riding with an' make 'em take me too, an' bless that nice old lady with white hair, that cried, and said I was a smart boy. Amen." Toddie sighed as he drew his stick of candy from his lips; then he shut his eyes and remarked: "Dee Lord, blesh Toddie, an' make him good boy, an' blesh zem ladies zat told me to say it aden;" the particular "it" referred to being well understood by at least three adults of my acquaintances. The course of Budge's interview with Mrs. Mayton was afterward related by that lady, as follows:--She was sitting in her own room (which was on the parlor-floor, and in the rear of the house), and was leisurely reading "Fated to be Free," when she accidentally dropped her glasses. Stooping to pick them up, she became aware that she was not alone. A small, very dirty, but good-featured boy stood before her, his hands behind his back, and an inquiring look in his eyes. "Run away, little boy," said she. "Don't you know it isn't polite to enter rooms without knocking?" "I'm lookin' for my uncle," said Budge, in most melodious accents, "an' the other ladies said you would know when he would come back." "I'm afraid they were making fun of you--or me," said the old lady, a little severely. "I don't know anything about little boys' uncles. Now run away, and don't disturb me any more." "Well," continued Budge, "they said your little girl went with him, and you'd know when SHE would come back." "I haven't any little girl," said the old lady, her indignation, at a supposed joke, threatening to overcome her dignity. "Now, go away." "She isn't a VERY little girl," said Budge, honestly anxious to conciliate; "that is, she's bigger'n _I_ am, but they said you was her mother, an' so she's you're little girl, isn't she? _I_ think she's lovely, too." "Do you mean Miss Mayton?" asked the lady, thinking she had a possible clue to the cause of Budge's anxiety. "Oh, yes--that's her name--I couldn't think of it," eagerly replied Budge. "An' ain't she AWFUL nice?--_I_ KNOW she is!" "Your judgment is quite correct, considering your age," said Mrs. Mayton, exhibiting more interest in Budge than she had heretofore done. "But what makes you think she is nice? You are rather younger than her male admirers usually are." "Why, my Uncle Harry told me so," replied Budge, "an' HE knows EVERYthing." Mrs. Mayton grew vigilant at once, and dropped her book. "Who IS your Uncle Harry, little boy?" "He's Uncle Harry; don't you know him? He can make nicer whistles than my papa can. An' he found a turtle--" "Who is your papa?" interrupted the lady. "Why, he's papa--I thought everybody knew who HE was." "What is your name?" asked Mrs. Mayton. "John Burton Lawrence," promptly answered Budge. Mrs. Mayton wrinkled her brows for a moment, and finally asked:-- "Is Mr. Burton the uncle you are looking for?" "I don't know any Mr. Burton," said Budge, a little dazed; "uncle is mamma's brother, an' he's been livin' at our house ever since mamma an' papa went off visitin', an' he goes ridin' in our carriage, an'--" "Humph!" remarked the lady, with so much emphasis that Budge ceased talking. A moment later she said:-- "I didn't mean to interrupt you, little boy; go on." "An' he rides with just the loveliest lady that ever was. HE thinks so, an' _I_ KNOW she is. An' he 'spects her." "What?" exclaimed the old lady. "--'Spects her, I say--that's what HE says. _I_ say 'spects means just what _I_ call LOVE. Cos if it don't, what makes him give her hugs and kisses?" Mrs. Mayton caught her breath, and did not reply for a moment. At last she said:-- "How do you know he--gives her hugs and kisses?" "Cos I saw him, the day Toddie hurt his finger in the grass-cutter. An' he was so happy that be bought me a goat-carriage next morning--I'll show it to you if you come down to our stable, an' I'll show you the goat too. An' he bought--" Just here Budge stopped, for Mrs. Mayton put her handkerchief to her eyes. Two or three moments later she felt a light touch on her knee, and, wiping her eyes, saw Budge looking sympathetically into her face. "I'm awful sorry you feel bad," said he. "Are you 'fraid to have your little girl ridin' so long?" "Yes!" exclaimed Mrs. Mayton, with great decision. "Well, you needn't be," said Budge, "for Uncle Harry's awful careful an' smart." "He ought to be ashamed of himself!" exclaimed the lady. "I guess he is, then," said Budge, "cos he's ev'rything he ought to be. He's awful careful. T'other day, when the goat ran away, an' Toddie an' me got in the carriage with them, he held on to her tight, so she couldn't fall out." Mrs. Mayton brought her foot down with a violent stamp. "I know you'd 'spect HIM, if you knew how nice he was," continued Budge. "He sings awful funny songs, an' tells splendid stories." "Nonsense!" exclaimed the angry mother. "They ain't no nonsense at all," said Budge. "I don't think it's nice for to say that, when his stories are always about Joseph, an' Abraham, an' Moses, an' when Jesus was a little boy, an' the Hebrew children, an' lots of people that the Lord loved. An' he's awful 'fectionate, too." "Yes, I suppose so," said Mrs. Mayton. "When we says our prayers we prays for the nice lady what he 'spects, an' he likes us to do it," continued Budge. "How do you know?" demanded Mrs. Mayton. "Cos he always kisses us when we do it, an' that's what my papa does when he likes what we pray." Mrs. Mayton's mind became absorbed in earnest thought, but Budge had not said all that was in his heart. "An' when Toddie or me tumbles down an' hurts ourselves, 'tain't no matter what Uncle Harry's doin' he runs right out an' picks us up an' comforts us. He froed away a cigar the other day, he was in such a hurry when a wasp stung me, an' Toddie picked the cigar up and ate it, an' it made him AWFUL sick." The last-named incident did not affect Mrs. Mayton deeply, perhaps on the score of inapplicability to the question before her. Budge went on:-- "An' wasn't he good to me today? Just cos I was forlorn, cos I hadn't nobody to play with, an' wanted to die an' go to heaven, he stopped shavin', so as to comfort me." Mrs. Mayton had been thinking rapidly and seriously, and her heart had relented somewhat toward the principal offender. "Suppose," said she, "that I don't let my little girl go riding with him any more?" "Then," said Budge, "I know he'll be awful, awful unhappy, an' I'll be awful sorry for him, cos nice folks oughtn't to be made unhappy." "Suppose, then, that I DO let her go," said Mrs. Mayton. "Then I'll give you a whole stomachful of kisses for being so good to my uncle," said Budge. And assuming that the latter course would be the one adopted by Mrs. Mayton, Budge climbed into her lap and began at once to make payment. "Bless your dear little heart!" exclaimed Mrs. Mayton; "you're of the same blood, and it IS good, if it IS rather hasty." As I arose the next morning, I found a letter under my door. Disappointed that it was not addressed in Alice's writing, I was nevertheless glad to get a word from my sister, particularly as the letter ran as follows:-- "JULY 1, 1875. "DEAR OLD BROTHER,--I've been recalling a fortnight's experience WE once had of courtship in a boarding-house, and I've determined to cut short our visit here, hurry home, and give you and Alice a chance or two to see each other in parlors where there won't be a likelihood of the dozen or two interruptions you must suffer each evening now. Tom agrees with me, like the obedient old darling that he is; so please have the carriage at Hillcrest station for us at 11:40 Friday morning. Invite Alice and her mother for me to dine with us Sunday,--we'll bring them home from church with us. "Lovingly, your sister, HELEN. "P. S. Of course you'll have my darlings in the carriage to receive me. "P. P. S. WOULD it annoy you to move into the best guest-chamber?--I can't bear to sleep where I can't have THEM within reach." Friday morning they intended to arrive,--blessings on their thoughtful hearts!--and THIS was Friday. I hurried into the boys' room, and shouted:-- "Toddie! Budge! who do you think is coming to see you this morning?" "Who?" asked Budge. "Organ-grinder?" queried Toddie. "No, your papa and mamma." Budge looked like an angel in an instant, but Toddie's eyes twitched a little, and he mournfully murmured:-- "I fought it wash an organ-grinder." "O Uncle Harry!" said Budge, springing out of bed in a perfect delirium of delight, "I believe if my papa an' mamma had stayed away any longer, I believe I would DIE. I've been SO lonesome for 'em that I haven't known what to do--I've cried whole pillowsful about it, right here in the dark." "Why, my poor old fellow," said I, picking him up and kissing him, "why didn't you come and tell Uncle Harry, and let him try to comfort you?" "I COULDN'T," said Budge; "when I gets lonesome, it feels as if my mouth was all tied up, an' a great big stone was right in here." And Budge put his hand on his chest. "If a big'tone wazh inshide of ME," said Toddie, "I'd take it out an' frow it at the shickens." "Toddie," said I, "aren't you glad papa an' mamma are coming?" "Yesh," said Toddie, "I fink it'll be awfoo nish. Mamma always bwings me candy fen she goes away anyfere." "Toddie, you're a mercenary wretch." "AIN'T a mernesary wetch; Izhe Toddie Yawncie." Toddie made none the less haste in dressing than his brother, however. Candy was to him what some systems of theology are to their adherents--not a very lofty motive of action but sweet, and something he could fully understand; so the energy displayed in getting himself tangled up in his clothes was something wonderful. "Stop, boys," said I, "you must have on clean clothes to-day. You don't want your father and mother to see you all dirty, do you?" "Of course not," said Budge. "Oh, Izh I goin' to be djessed up all nicey?" asked Toddie. "Goody! goody! goody!" I always thought my sister Helen had an undue amount of vanity, and here it was reappearing in the second generation. "An' I wantsh my shoes made all nigger," said Toddie. "What?" "Wantsh my shoesh made all nigger wif a bottle-bwush, too," said Toddie. I looked appealingly at Budge, who answered:-- "He means he wants his shoes blacked, with the polish that's in a bottle, an' you rub it on with a brush." "An' I wantsh a thath on," continued Toddie. "Sash, he means," said Budge. "He's awful proud." "An' Ize doin' to wear my takker-hat," said Toddie. "An' my wed djuvs." "That's his tassel-hat an' his red gloves," continued the interpreter. "Toddie, you can't wear gloves such hot days as these," said I. A look of inquiry was speedily followed by Toddie's own unmistakable preparations for weeping; and as I did not want his eyes dimmed when his mother looked into them I hastily exclaimed:-- "Put them on, then--put on the mantle of rude Boreas, if you choose; but don't go to crying." "Don't want no mantle-o'-wude-bawyusses," declared Toddie, following me phonetically, "wantsh my own pitty cozhesh, an' nobody eshesh." "O Uncle Harry!" exclaimed Budge, "I want to bring mamma home in my goat-carriage!" "The goat isn't strong enough, Budge, to draw mamma and you." "Well, then, let me drive down to the depot just to SHOW papa an' mamma I've got a goat-carriage--I'm sure mamma would be very unhappy when she found out I had one, and she hadn't seen it first thing." "Well, I guess you may follow me down, Budge, but you must drive very carefully." "Oh, yes--I wouldn't get us hurt when mamma was coming, for ANYthing." "Now, boys," said I, "I want you to stay in the house and play this morning. If you go out of doors you'll get yourselves dirty." "I guess the sun'll be disappointed if it don't have us to look at," suggested Budge. "Never mind," said I, "the sun's old enough to have learned to be patient." Breakfast over, the boys moved reluctantly away to the play-room, while I inspected the house and grounds pretty closely, to see that everything should at least fail to do my management discredit. A dollar given to Mike and another to Maggie were of material assistance in this work, so I felt free to adorn the parlors and Helen's chamber with flowers. As I went into the latter room I heard some one at the wash-stand, which was in the alcove, and on looking I saw Toddie drinking the last of the contents of a goblet which contained a dark-colored mixture. "Ize takin' black medshin," said Toddie; "I likes black medshin awfoo muts." "What do you make it of?" I asked, with some sympathy, and tracing parental influence again. When Helen and I were children we spent hours in soaking liquorice in water and administering it as medicine. "Makesh it out of shoda mitsture," said Toddie. This was another medicine of our childhood days, but one prepared according to physician's prescription, and not beneficial when taken ad libitum. As I took the vial--a two-ounce one--I asked:-- "How much did you take, Toddie?" "Took whole bottoo full--twas nysh," said he. Suddenly the label caught my eye--it read PAREGORIC. In a second I had snatched a shawl, wrapped Toddie in it, tucked him under my arm, and was on my way to the barn. In a moment more I was on one of the horses and galloping furiously to the village, with Toddie under one arm, his yellow curls streaming in the breeze. People came out and stared as they did at John Gilpin, while one old farmer whom I met turned his team about, whipped up furiously, and followed me, shouting "Stop thief!" I afterward learned that he took me to be one of the abductors of Charley Ross, with the lost child under my arm, and that visions of the $20,000 reward floated before his eyes. In front of an apothecary's I brought the horse suddenly upon his haunches, and dashed in, exclaiming:-- "Give this child a strong emetic--quick. He's swallowed poison!" The apothecary hurried to his prescription-desk, while a motherly-looking Irish woman upon whom he had been waiting, exclaimed, "Holy Mither! I'll run an' fetch Father O'Kelley," and hurried out. Meanwhile Toddie, upon whom the medicine had not commenced to take effect, had seized the apothecary's cat by the tail, which operation resulted in a considerable vocal protest from that animal. The experiences of the next few moments were more pronounced and revolutionary than pleasing to relate in detail. It is sufficient to say that Toddie's weight was materially diminished, and that his complexion was temporarily pallid. Father O'Kelley arrived at a brisk run, and was honestly glad to find that his services were not required, although I assured him that if Catholic baptism and a sprinkling of holy water would improve Toddie's character, I thought there was excuse for several applications. We rode quietly back to the house, and while I was asking Maggie to try to coax Toddie into taking a nap, I heard the patient remark to his brother:-- "Budgie, down to the village I was a whay-al. I didn't froe up Djonah, but I froed up a whole floor full of uvver fings." During the hour which passed before it was time to start for the depot, my sole attention was devoted to keeping the children from soiling their clothes; but my success was so little, that I lost my temper entirely. First they insisted upon playing on a part of the lawn which the sun had not yet reached. Then, while I had gone into the house for a match to light my cigar, Toddie had gone with his damp shoes into the middle of the road, where the dust was ankle deep. Then they got upon their hands and knees on the piazza and played bear. Each one wanted to pick a bouquet for his mother, and Toddie took the precaution to smell every flower he approached--an operation which caused him to get his nose covered with lily-pollen, so that he looked like a badly used prize-fighter. In one of their spasms of inaction, Budge asked:-- "What makes some of the men in church have no hair on the tops of their heads, Uncle Harry?" "Because," said I, pausing long enough to shake Toddie for trying to get my watch out of my pocket, "because they have bad little boys to bother them all the time, so their hair drops out." "I dess MY hairs is a-goin' to drop out pitty soon, then," remarked Toddie, with an injured air. "Harness the horses, Mike," I shouted. "An' the goat, too," added Budge. Five minutes later I was seated in the carriage, or rather in Tom's two-seated open wagon. "Mike," I shouted, "I forgot to tell Maggie to have some lunch ready for the folks when they get here--run, tell her, quick, won't you?" "Oye, oye, sur," said Mike, and off he went. "Are you all ready, boys?" I asked. "In a minute," said Budge; "soon as I fix this. Now," he continued, getting into his seat, and taking the reins and whip, "go ahead." "Wait a moment, Budge--put down that whip, and don't touch the goat with it once on the way. I'm going to drive very slowly--there's plenty of time, and all you need to do is to hold your reins." "All right," said Budge, "but I like to look like mans when I drive." "You may do that when somebody can run beside you. Now!" The horses started at a gentle trot, and the goat followed very closely. When within a minute of the depot, however, the train swept in. I had intended to be on the platform to meet Tom and Helen, but my watch was evidently slow. I gave the horses the whip, looked behind and saw the boys were close upon me, and I was so near the platform when I turned my head that nothing but the sharpest of turns saved me from a severe accident. The noble animals saw the danger as quickly as I did, however, and turned in marvelously small space; as they did so, I heard two hard thumps upon the wooden wall of the little depot, heard also two frightful howls, saw both my nephews considerably mixed up on the platform, while the driver of the Bloom-Park stage growled in my ear:-- "What in thunder did you let 'em hitch that goat to your axle-tree for?" I looked, and saw the man spoke with just cause. How the goat's head and shoulders had maintained their normal connection during the last minute of my drive, I leave for naturalists to explain. I had no time to meditate on the matter just then, for the train had stopped. Fortunately the children had struck on their heads, and the Lawrence-Burton skull is a marvel of solidity. I set them upon their feet, brushed them off with my hands, promised them all the candy they could eat for a week, wiped their eyes, and hurried them to the other side of the depot. Budge rushed at Tom, exclaiming:-- "See my goat, papa!" Helen opened her arms, and Toddie threw himself into them, sobbing:-- "Mam--MA! shing 'Toddie one-boy-day!'" How uncomfortable a man CAN feel in the society of a dearly-loved sister and an incomparable brother-in-law I never imagined until that short drive. Helen was somewhat concerned about the children, but she found time to look at me with so much of sympathy, humor, affection, and condescension that I really felt relieved when we reached the house. I hastily retired to my own room, but before I had shut the door Helen was with me, and her arms were about my neck; before the dear old girl removed them we had grown far nearer to each other than we had ever been before. And how gloriously the rest of the day passed off. We had a delightful little lunch, and Tom brought up a bottle of Roederer, and Helen didn't remonstrate when he insisted on its being drank from her finest glasses, and there were toasts drank to "Her" and "Her Mother," and to the Benedict that was to be. And then Helen proposed "the makers of the match--Budge and Toddie!" which was honored with bumpers. The gentlemen toasted did not respond, but they stared so curiously that I sprang from my chair and kissed them soundly, upon which Tom and Helen exchanged significant glances. Then Helen walked down to Mrs. Clarkson's boarding-house, all for the purpose of showing a lady there with a skirt to make over just how she had seen a similar garment rearranged exquisitely. And Alice strolled down to the gate with her to say good-by; and they had so much to talk about that Helen walked Alice nearly to our house, and then insisted on her coming the rest of the way so she might be driven home. And then Mike was sent back with a note to say to Mrs. Mayton that her daughter had been prevailed upon to stay to evening dinner, but would be sent home under capable escort. And after dinner was over and the children put to bed, Tom groaned that he MUST attend a road-board meeting, and Helen begged us to excuse her just a minute while she ran into the doctor's to ask how poor Mrs. Brown had been doing, and she consumed three hours and twenty-five minutes in asking, bless her sympathetic soul! The dreaded ending of my vacation did not cause me as many pangs as I had expected. Helen wanted to know one evening why, if her poor, dear Tom could go back and forth to the city to business every day, her lazy big brother couldn't go back and forth to Hillcrest daily, if she were to want him as a boarder for the remainder of the season. Although I had for years inveighed against the folly of cultivated people leaving the city to find residences, Helen's argument was unanswerable and I submitted. I did even more; I purchased a lovely bit of ground (though the deed stands in Tom's name for the present), and Tom has brought up several plans of cottage-houses, and every evening they are spread on the dining-room table, and there gather round them four people, among whom are a white-goods salesman, and a young lady with the brightest of eyes and cheeks full of roses and lilies. This latter-named personage has her own opinions of the merits of all plans suggested, and insisted that whatever plan IS adopted MUST have a lovely room to be set apart as the exclusive property of Helen's boys. Young as these gentlemen are I find frequent occasions to be frightfully jealous of them, but they are unmoved by either my frowns or persuasions--artifice alone is able to prevent their monopolizing the time of an adorable being of whose society I cannot possibly have too much. She insists that when the ceremony takes place in December, they shall officiate as groomsmen, and I have not the slightest doubt that she will carry her point. In fact, I confess to frequent affectionate advances toward them myself, and when I retire without first seeking their room and putting a grateful kiss upon their unconscious lips, my conscience upbraids me with base ingratitude. To think I might yet be a hopeless bachelor had it not been for them, is to overflow with thankfulness to the giver of HELEN'S BABIES. THE END. Publication Date: February 2nd 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-audio.books

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-amaunet-jendayi-taking-the-risk/

Amaunet Jendayi Taking the Risk 1 She wakes up to find herself in a queen-sized bed, trying to sit up she winces in pain and catches her breath. Struggling through the pain, she is able enough to try to see where she is. Because she knows, she isn't at the hospital or her own house. Looking around she notices very expensive items such as the real wooden black dresser, a towering entertainment center complete with a 60-inch flat screen television, along with some other things. Also, the nice silk sheets she is wrapped in and the silk pajama set she now realizes she has on. Seeing her reflection in the television set, she gasps. Two black eyes, bruises on her mocha colored face, and a busted lip. She wants to move closer, the pain disable her to do so, rendering her immobile. Lifting the sheet, she sees that her legs are propped up on pillows, her right ankle wrapped tightly in some bandages. It looks swollen, but she cannot feel the pain or tell if it was broken. The jiggle of the doorknob causes her to flinch and her muscles tighten. She grimaces as her tight muscles make the pain circulate through her other muscles.  A dark chocolate young man with dark blue jogging pants on and no shirt ambles in carrying a tray. Her heart beat increases at the strange man, she sits there in pain. His Muscles rippling from his arms as he carries a medium black steel tray full of breakfast food: eggs, pancakes, bacon, grits, and apple juice. Their eyes meet and with a bright smile, he greets her, "Nice to see you're up." Her mind not really noting who he is, she stares blankly at him but smiles when he sets the tray in her lap. However, his face did look very familiar, however, when she tried to remember; a migraine would shut it down. "I wanted to bring you some breakfast before I headed out for a run." He places his hands on his hips while he watches her dig into the breakfast. She looks up at him and nods. "Okay." He claps once, "Bathroom is over there." he points to the right and she tries to look at the bathroom entrance but the pain only limited her to look half way, then back at him. "There are fresh towels and wash cloths. I have also, asked my personal assistant to do a little clothes shopping for you, so you could have something to wear other than that torn and dirty dress. She should be by here soon." He looks at his watch. She nods chewing on the bacon, not feeling so comfortable eating with him standing there. "If you need anything my pager and cell number is on the nightstand." She looks to her left next to the bed; there is a black nightstand that matches the black, white, and a little blue theme going on in the bedroom. She turns back to him. "The maid...err...butler Jere, who is tending to the kitchen can help you as well, okay?" She nods; he ambles up to her and kisses her forehead, then leaves. She cringes when he kissed her forehead, her eyes widen and her breathing turns rapid. She scrunches her face up, not understanding what made him think in his right mind that she would be comfortable with that. Aside from him kissing her even if it was on the forehead; she loved the attention she is getting. Especially, the breakfast in bed idea. She has never been served breakfast in bed before. She was always the one giving the person the food in bed. However, they never returned the favor. She only wishes she could remember who this extremely sexy man is and what happened the night before. However, trying to remember only brought on a serve migraine. Grabbing the television remote from the nightstand, she turns on the television hoping to ease the migraine. Flipping through the channels, she stops at the news channel; she hates the news because there is so much sadness in the world. However, no one really tried to change the sadness, but the people that did, were treated badly and shot down. All because people don't like change. The face of her ex-lover, Patrick West’s picture is plastered on the television screen. Gasping, she turns the volume up to get a better hear. She flinches again because of the unexpected surround sound system. "Just in Patrick Larkin West, suspected murderer, drug dealer, and also suspected of having an underground prostitution ring has been captured today. Police found Mr. West hiding out at his baby mom's house in the closet..." The reporter informs. She turns down the volume. She knew that he was always sleeping with his baby mama, for all of the 4 years they have been together. Even when he denied it. She knew better than that. She also figured out he had been sleeping with other females as well. To her, it was a bullet dodged when she went to her doctor for a regular checkup and everything came back clean. Sighing, finally finished with her meal, she sets the tray on the empty side of the bed and looks at the business card that the young man had left her. Picking it up, she reads his name, "Tyson Reese; Apex Sciences Computers. Computer Science Engineer." The name does sound very familiar to her, but as she tried to think on where she'd heard his name, the serve migraine started to rear its ugly head back in. She pushed the thoughts aside for now. Swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, she gently gets out of the bed, putting some pressure on her left ankle. She winces a bit but then hobbles to the bathroom; using the wall as a guide and support so that she wouldn't topple over and fall. Switching the light on and looking into the mirror, the image of her nearly scares her. The worriment and wounds on her face are completely visible. Including the new editions. Seeing this, her hazel-green eyes begins to swell up with tears. She couldn't believe that she let him do this to her, beat her so bad, so many times for so long. 4 years of abuse and miscarriages, all cause he didn't want any more kids or thought they weren't his own. She really couldn't believe that she let him do this to her. Continue to do it to her after the first time he hit her. She sucked up the tears, she's been strong for so long, and she had to keep on being strong. She could not think of a reason why she should keep on being strong, but she knew that she had to do so. She had every reason to break down and cry on this bathroom floor, but she didn't. Just like all the other shitty things that happened in her life, from her mother selling her to her drug dealer boyfriend for a quick fix at the very tender age of 10 years old, then to her 'stepfather' sexually abusing her from 7 to 16 years old. Through all that, she never once shredded a tear or complained, she took it. Took it because she knew that the more she cried or whined, the harder her mother would beat her with whatever her mother could find or whatever was in arms reach. Staring in the mirror at her own image, hypnotized by her scars and bruises. Her thick, curly brown hair that stops at the end of her shoulder blades lay a mess on her head. Her 5 foot 4-inch frame and voluptuous build made her the target for thugs, gang bangers, hustlers, drug dealers, and pimps. Undesirable attention. Her skin is a light skin complexion with a slight dark tint from always being outside. A knock on the bedroom door causes her to jump and almost knock over some bottles on the bathroom counter. Steadying the bottles to make sure that they don't fall on the floor. She limps to the bedroom door, once again using the wall for support. "Who is it?" "It's Tyson's assistant."  She opens the door and in rushes Tyson's personal assistant with both arms full of shopping bags, struggling to not drop them. She quickly puts the bags down and plops down on the bed.  "Ugh," She groans tiredly, dropping some of the bags on the floor and the others on the bed. Closing the door, Aynslee limps to the female laying on the bed. "I am Maryanne Cortez, Tyson's personal assistant," She gets up and places the bags that were on the floor onto the bed. She continues to speak, "Okay, I didn't know your style but Tyson did tell me your size." She dumps the contents of one bag out on the bed and shuffles through the shirts, jeans, skirts, and dresses. Maryanne then looks up at the young lady's face and winced at how bruised up she looks. Touching her chin, she gently turns her head this way then the other way, looking at the wounds and bruises. She inhales sharply, "They hurt?" "A little." She answers meekly. Maryanne nods and hums, "Hm, I have something for them, but not sure if it would work." Still sorting through the clothes and dumping the other bags contents onto the bed, "would you like to try it?" She asks looking at the female. She nods. Maryanne grabs her purse and she rustles through it.  "It amazes me how everything else that I have is organized to a T except this purse," She chuckles finally finding what she is looking for; a red small jar. Patting the bed next to her, she sits down, and Maryanne catty corners her body. She opens the jar and the very strong odor of grapes arises from the jar, the cream is a light blue.  She applies the cream to her face, where the scars, wounds; new and old and mostly the black eyes, "Okay, let that sit for 2 minutes then you can rinse it off." She puts the top back on the jar and puts it back in her purse. She nods feeling Maryanne get up from the bed, Maryanne speaks, “I came up with that myself. I use to be a doctor/lab tech." "Hm?" Aynslee tilts her head. Maryanne chuckles, "I know, a doctor to a personal assistant. A Huge change, right? Especially with the salary." She lays out the clothes neatly on the bed. "When Tyson hired me, I didn't expect to be doing so many computer technology stuff that deals with my field. I thought he would just make me sit behind a desk; file papers all day, run errands, and type things. Boy was I wrong." She hears Maryanne rustling with another bag and hears a thump on the floor, causing her muscles to tighten again; making more pain course through her body. Maryanne pats her lap to soothe her then continues to speak, "But sometimes when there isn't an assignment to be done, he lets me come up with my own stuff. He doesn't pressure me to sell my product either. Unless, I pitch it to him. Oh...times up." She says looking at her watch then helps the young lady up and guides her to the bathroom and runs the water for her.  Shuddering slightly while she bent over to wash her face, she thought to herself that no one has been this nice to her since she found out about her spoiled half-sister; Luna who lives with her mother on the nicer side of town. Finishing washing the cream off her face, she looks at herself in the mirror. Her eyes sparkle at how majority of the wounds, scars, and bruises on her face is gone now, even the ones from years ago. She never thought that she would see this day where all the damages would be gone. All most near tears, she hugs Maryanne. "Thank you." Caught off guard by the kind gesture, smiling Maryanne hugs her back gently as not to hurt her further. "You are welcome. Tyson never did tell me your name." Letting go of Maryanne, the young lady steps back, "Aynslee Desiree Geneva Velasquez." She says softly sitting on the closed toilet seat, she places her hands in her lap and looks down at the shaggy white rug. She picks at the curly squiggles coming out of the shaggy rug with her toes. "People call me Aynne or Lee." Maryanne nods. "That's a pretty name." "Thank you." Maryanne gently pulls Aynslee up and helps her into the bedroom. "Well, Aynslee, Tyson would like you to get dressed for dinner tonight. So, you have the freedom of picking your own outfit out." Seeing the clothes lined up on the bed, Aynslee limps to them and looks at them. There were piles of pretty shirts, cool jeans, a few business skirts, and really cute summer dresses and casual dresses. "Wow." She picks up a lavender colored short spaghetti strapped dress. "This is really pretty. Is this silk too?" Maryanne nods while Aynslee goes to the full-length mirror and puts the dress up to her figure. "I love it. Can I keep it?" Confused at the question, Maryanne nods, "Yeah, it's all yours. The clothes and the shoes." Aynslee looks at Maryanne, Aynslee's face glowing with excitement and tears of joy. Clothes were something that Aynslee wanted as a child, but her mother would always blow the money on drugs and whatever else. She limps to Maryanne, still in some pain, but the excitement overrides that, "Really?" Maryanne nods again still not really understanding where she was going with this. Aynslee squeals and looks at the clothes on the bed, "I'm going to try them on. Stay here okay?" She snatches a few jeans and shirts and dresses, then quickly hobble-limps to the bathroom. Maryanne sits on the bed facing the bathroom door waiting for Aynslee to model the clothes. 2 Tyson Reese   Jogging through a wooded trail and taking in the lovely scenery, his favorite place to jog and think, his mind wonders to the night before. Never has he seen a female under so much stress, before that night.       -Last night--   At work, he leans back in his chair behind his huge black marble desk awaiting for some appointments to come through before he leaves for the day. It was a Friday night, the boy's night ever since high school. They were to meet each other at a new bar called Black Asylum at 9pm. Tyson looks at his watch and the time reads: 8:45pm. He knew that if he were late, he would have to buy the first two rounds of beer. He did not want to do that because the last time he was late, his boys ordered that top shelf beer, and nearly cost him over 3,000 dollars each.   When his phone rings, he jumps and answers it, "Hello, Tyson Reese speaking." He heard whimpering, crying, and sniffling. "H-hello?" He stammers a little concerned, he looks at the caller Id and doesn't recognize the number, then he hears a faint, "help me...he's gonna-." The line goes dead.   He tries to re-dial the number, but the line was dead. Then his cell phone rings causing him to flinch and hit his knee on the under part of his desk. He answers his phone as he then tries to trace the call from the computer that set on his desk, while rubbing his hurt knee, "Hello?"   "Tyson...man. Where are you?" A male's voice squeaks through the speaker part of the phone.   "Lorenzo, something came up," Tyson says his fingers flying as he quickly pulls up a map of where the call came from. His heart beat against his chest as if this is a mission to find out where that call came from.   Lorenzo Wynn is the brawns of the group, always has a different female every night and never settles down with just one. "Something like what, dog? Come on.   "Work-related." He looks closely at the map and realizes where the place is while lying to Lorenzo. "Really? It's a new spot, though. Come on.   Lorenzo's voice already had an annoying squeak to it but when he whines that's what made Tyson want to commit bloody murder.   "Dude, I am serious. Look," He gathers up his things as the location of the address is being printed. "It's really important. Something that I can't get out of. I promise I will try to make it next Friday."   Lorenzo sighs, "Alright, I will tell Dillon, Isaak, and Roderick that.   "Thanks. Appreciate it," he hangs up and hurriedly grabs the paper from the printer along with his bags of papers.   Looking at the map, it had led him into the dangerous streets of downtown Valley. He slowly creeps as other cars zoom past him, in the dead of night. Most of the street lights aren't working and Tyson's high beams needed some serious touch-ups. His GPS beeps indicating that he is at the place, he parallel parks between two very raggedy looking cars and straps up with both of his AF-1s just in case.   He gets out of his car, closing the door and locking it. This place is the splitting image of a childhood hang out, but the houses are boarded up and looks like it's about to be condemned. Next to it the condemned house and stores, there is a musky smelling, dark alley. Being back down here brought back painful memories. Especially this alleyway, he enters the alleyway, finding nothing or anyone; just as he is about to turn around and think that it was all a hoax. He hears a faint, pained moaning sound coming from it. Cautiously, he makes his way down the alley using his flashlight app on his phone to see and having his hand on his gun that is tucked in the back of his pants close to his spine.   "Hello?" He calls out, cautiously walking towards the sound.   The deeper he walks into the very stank alley, the louder the pained moans grew. Reaching the end of the dark, musk and alcohol-smelling alley, he finds no one until he turns to his left by a black dumpster. He looks beside the dumpster and sees the beaten body of a female. He kneels down and checks for a pulse, it was faint but there. He lifts the female off the ground and rushes her to his car.   She begins to swat at his face, but he calms her down enough to make her stop so he could see where he is going. Putting her in his car, he spots two dudes walking down the street, towards him with their guns drawn for some reason.   Tyson knew there was no specific reason as to why they drawn their guns, but Tyson ducked behind his car door as the unknown dudes started shooting. Tyson pulls out his pieces and aims at the first guy and pulls the trigger. With a loud bang, the guy goes down; groaning and his partner takes off running, leaving his partner behind. Fearing that he would come back with backup,   Tyson closes the back door, got in the driver side, and peels out of there.     Stopping at the very top of a rock mountain, he looks out over the town of Quarters. It is so beautiful this time of the morning. His cell phone rings disturbing his personal time to himself. He pulls it out of his pocket as a cool breeze of wind cools him down. "Hello?" "Hey, it's Maryanne." Concern hits him, "What's wrong?" He begins quickly walking down the rock mountain. "Nothing, really. She is showing me the clothes that I picked out for her. She really is a nice young lady, Tyson." Tyson smiles knowing that Aynslee is and has always been a very nice young lady. Knowing that she is okay, he slows his pace and continues to take in the scenery. He felt anew since he found Aynslee. "Yeah. She is." "I don't understand how did she end up the way she is now?" Maryanne suddenly lowers her voice to a whisper. "A few bad choices and the rebellion point takes over when someone tries to tell her right from wrong. She doesn't want to hear it, but she owns up when she is wrong. Also, the upbringing that she was raised in caused her to be one tough cookie. She had a hard time with drugs on and off during a few years of high school and a little through college as well." He nearly trips over a log but catches himself. "Will she be ready for tonight?" He didn't really want to discuss all of Aynslee's business too much. Maryanne nods, "Yes, she will. But, I don't think she remembers you all that well." "She will after tonight." He replies with a smirk on his face. Maryanne whoops, "You are bad." jokingly. Tyson laughs, "It's not even like that." "I know. But okay, she is coming back out of the bathroom." They hang up as Tyson reaches the entrance of the trail, gets in his car. "A lot of bad choices." He repeats to himself as he drives off. "More like no one ever cared about her except her half-sister; Luna." He thinks out loud to himself as he stops at a flower Shoppe, he puts his shirt on that is in the passenger seat and then enters the Shoppe. There are flowers of all kinds and rarities, the Shoppe smells of dirt and fruit. He smiles at the familiar smell. Tyson looks at some Lisianthus' when an elderly lady of 76 years old; the owner; walks up to Tyson. "Ahh, back so soon, Mr. Reese?" Tyson flashes a smile at the lady, "Yes, ma'am. But being another reason this time." "Oh? New lady friend?" The elderly lady playfully nudges Tyson's ribs. Smiling, he rubs his ribs, "You can say that, Mrs. Kina." "Well...I got some new flowers in two weeks ago." She walks towards the back of the store and Tyson follows. She stops at some yellow golden flowers that resembles a rose, but it was not because the roses are at the front of the Shoppe; being the most bought flower. Mrs. Kina picks up a dozen of the golden yellow flower, hands them to Tyson, and he takes them; examining them. "They are so pretty. What are they?" "Ranunculus'." Tyson arches his right brow in question to what she just said. She laughs then starts coughing, "Excuse me." He places a hand on her back to make sure she is okay. She pats his hand to let him know she is alright. He drops his hand. She continues, "They are Buttercups." He smells them and smiles, "Wow, I think she'll like these. But, what are those?" He points to some white, pink, and red and some deep green foliage. Mrs. Kina looks to where he is pointing. "Oh," She ambles over to them. "These are Camellias, another new shipment." "Okay. I would like two Buttercups, three Camellias, four Dahlias, and three Zinnias." "Good choice." They walk up to the register and Mrs. Kina rings him up. "That would be $10.19." He pulls out his wallet and hands her a Platinum card. She takes it and swipes it, then hands it back to him. "Would you like for my daughter to arrange them for you?" Tyson didn't even see Mrs. Kina's daughter. He nods. She goes to the back and then is followed up front by a female with round beige eyes, thick straight hair the color of milk chocolate, a pale complexion and is short with an angular build. "Tyson, you remember my daughter, Noelle?" "Yes." His eyes seriously bulged out of his head at the sight of Noelle standing there in front of him. She didn't really look any better when he last seen her. Noelle smiles widely at Tyson while she rearranges the flowers on the counter for him. Mrs. Kina goes to the back to pull more flowers. "When are we going to talk about what happened?" Noelle says when she is sure that her mother is out of earshot. Tyson frowns and responds, "There is nothing to talk about." in slight anger. Noelle wraps the flowers up tightly in some red and blue wrapping paper. "I believe there is. You-." "You never told me that you were married, until your so called husband tried to kill me in that restaurant that night I was celebrating my sister's birthday." "I wanted...I was gonna divorce him for you. That's the honest truth, you showed me a lot that my husband hasn't even shown me, Tyson. I know I messed up, but..." She hands him the flowers as her words trail off. Tyson takes the flowers. Noelle continues, "Lil Marvell is waiting to see you." Angered, Tyson whispers wanting to yell, "You know that he ain't none of my children. The doctors even told you that he ain’t mine with that DNA test. So, stop!" With that, Tyson storms out. 3 Aynslee Velasquez   Aynslee had Maryanne leave when she found her knocked out on the bed snoring after Aynslee put on the last outfit around 6:50pm. Maryanne was sleepy drunk and didn't know what was going on when Aynslee woke her up. When Maryanne left after making sure Aynslee would be okay.   She took a nice hot shower, something Aynslee hadn't had in a very long time, she knew that Tyson would be back soon, and she could have sworn that Maryanne said that he was taking her out to dinner tonight. Her ankle didn't hurt as bad as it did when the pain meds she found out she was on wore off. So, she is walking a whole lot better, still limping a little but not very much to the point where it could be noticed.       Coming out of the bathroom, steam slithering out behind her, she looks outside. It is dark and there are plenty of street lights and cars zooming by, and some cars are parked. Looking at the clock it reads: 8:45pm. She didn't know when Tyson would be here so instead of daydreaming about how the dinner is going to go, she took her time getting ready.       Straightening her hair, painting her nails with nail polish that Maryanne bought her along with the clothes, shaving (using NAIR) on her legs; she sometimes laughed at herself because she could not remember the last time she tried to get all dolled up for a date. Except in high school and her first date with Patrick. The thought of Pat made her skin crawl, but she knew that he'd find her, somehow.       Even whenever he was in jail, he'd have his "goons" or "boys" always keep a close eye on her to make sure she wasn't "creeping". When it was really him that was doing all of the creeping behind bars with random girls, his baby mama, and the occasional male oral for extra favors.       She steps into the vivid red dress that is medium length and skirt that flares out when she twirls.       The sleeves are a mid-arm, along with the black wedges. She checks herself in the mirror and smiles at herself. She knew that she look good, but deep down there is a boiling insecurity about her weight that nearly claimed her life when she was in the 12th grade.   Throwing up so much has caused her many issues and she was on the brink of death. She was always weak, sometimes she could hardly speak, and her skin was always dry no matter how much lotion or shea butter she put on, also she was always sick and barely made it out of high school due to too many sick days. But, she always made sure that her grades were always on point, in high school or in the hospital. She wanted so much for herself and not even being bulimic was going to stop her.   But now she knew better than to try that again all because her mother told her that she was always fat and ugly. But after that hospital stint, Aynslee knew that she was lying, only because she; her mother; was the one that was ugly and obese.   Hearing a car pull up, Aynslee walks up to the window to see Tyson getting out. She couldn't see what he was wearing, but she was so happy that he was here. Finding herself almost running to the bedroom door, she had to remind herself that she barely remembered him and that she needed to slow her roll. She didn't want to appear to be a fast ass like most of the young females out here.   Tyson knocks on the door then opens it to see Aynslee standing in the mirror trying to fix her hair. "Hey."   Jumping at the voice, Aynslee turns around to see Tyson wearing a black and white suit with a tie, not one of those clips on ties that Patrick wore. It is a real tie. "Hi." She turns back to the mirror. He walks over to her, "Are you ready?"   She sucks her teeth, "No, my hair. This piece..." She holds the strand between her index finger and thumb, "it won't stay out of my...face." She begins to get even more frustrated, wanting to snatch the strand out and let that be that. She would just have to have that one bald spot on the front of her hair near her forehead.   But, Tyson steps in before she could snatch the hair out, "Let me see." She moves the strand to his hand and he twists it around his finger, pulls his finger out, and the strand coils to the side of her face, out of her face. Gasping a little jealous, she playfully shoves him giggling, "Where did you learn that?" She grabs a black jacket that goes with the dress.   "I have sisters. Two older and two younger. The older ones taught me hair, nails, makeup all that and the younger ones taught me tea parties and dress up." He says with much pride and no shame.   Aynslee chuckles as they exit the bedroom and walks down the hallway and down the stairs. Aynslee didn't realize how huge the house was considering that she stayed in the bedroom all day, talking and laughing with Maryanne. As they walk past the kitchen, she peeks in and sees a few staff members cleaning and some cooking something while the others sat around small folding table playing cards.   They stop at the kitchen entrance, Aynslee cranes her neck to get a better look. The kitchen is massive and resembles a fancy restaurant kitchen. "Jere?"   Jere; a tall man with a very feminine build, full beard and a small moustache, and thick, straight, short chocolate colored; gets up from the small folding table where he and a few other staff members are playing cards. He steps to Tyson and Aynslee, "Looking good, ma'am." He eyes Aynslee.   Tyson playfully gets jealous and strikes a pose, "What about me? Don't I look ravishing?"   They all share a hearty laugh. Tyson grabs Aynslee's hand while saying to Jere, "We are going out for the evening. So, y'all can do whatever. Just don't mess up the house."   Jere does a soldier salute, "Yes sir!" Aynslee chuckles as her and Tyson exit the house. 4 Aynslee Velasquez   Whilst the limo came to a halt, Aynslee smells the flowers that Tyson had bought earlier and gave to her once they got in the limo. She then steps out once the driver opens the door, follow by Tyson.   Aynslee stares at the huge bright neon red and lavender colored marquee letters above the entrance of the beautiful restaurant. She had no idea what the name of the restaurant is because it the letter is in a foreign language and too bright. Tyson takes her hand, she flinches a little and he gently touches her fingers. "It's okay." He smiles, "Shall we?"   She too smiles as they enter the establishment. Upon entering the smell of expensive food, invades Aynslee's nose making her scrunch her face up in disgust. They stop at a small podium where a male with a handlebar mustache and a saddening color gray suit looks up from whatever he is reading and says with a fake French accent, "Name, please?"   Aynslee goes into a giggle fit while trying her best not to do it out loud, at the man's attempt at the French accent. Tyson smirks and answers, "Reese, table for 2."   The man looks at what Aynslee believes to be a registration book, "Ahh, yes." He bends over and pulls two menus from under the podium, "Right this way."   He commands straightening his tie and walking out into the crowded restaurant. They follow. The restaurant is very nice and looks extremely expensive. There are couples dressed to the nines, sitting across from each other, and chattering silently amongst themselves. Some couples are holding hands and smiling at each other. The man stops at a booth next to the window. "Here we are, sir."   Aynslee slides in and Tyson gets on the other side of the table and slides in as well. The male sets the menus in front of reach of them. "The server that will be serving you tonight will be Miss Lori. She'll be around soon for your drinks. The wine menu is on the table." Tyson and Aynslee look at the wine menu next to the napkin dispenser and back at the male. "Have a nice time." He walks away with his shoulders back and head held high.   Aynslee couldn't help but titter at the male once again as she picks the menu up to look it over. An instant frown washes over her face when she sees the prices of the food, even the appetizers were over $50.00. Tyson notices the frown and he frowns as well, "It is okay. I got it." He assures her, she pulls a weak smile still not so sure.   But, there was nothing that she could do about it, she didn't have a job or any kind of money to pick up the tab if she wanted to. When she did have a job, she didn't like for too many people to pay for her things because she always knew that they would want something from her.   After a few minutes of looking over the menu, a lady about in her mid-30 bounces overlooking overly bubbly, the lady's ocean blue eyes settle on Tyson then Aynslee. "Hi," She says with a southern drawl, that definitely was not fake and a smile. "I am Miss Lori and I will be your server tonight." She introduces while she puts down two wooden coasters. "Do you know what you want to drink?" She takes out her ticket pad and pen.   Tyson looks at Aynslee and Aynslee sighs not really knowing what she wanted to drink, but on top of that she couldn't even find the drinks on the menu. Tyson speaks up, "We'll have Champagne."   Miss Lori writes it down and asks, "Chilled?" Tyson nods while Miss Lori writes the drink order down, "Okay, do you know what you want for your appetizers?"   Tyson looks to Aynslee and Aynslee shakes her head. She didn't know what any of these things on the menu was. Like what the hell is a veal? And caviar? She had no clue as what she could eat. She closes the menu and sighs, rubbing her temples.   Tyson looks at Miss Lori and answers, "We'll start out with the steak salads." He looks to Aynslee and she perks up, nodding. He nods as well while Miss Lori writes it down. "Okay, the entree?" Tyson looks at the menu rubbing his chin. "Do you want the noodle Alfredo chicken? Or the top sirloin steak with a side of mashed potatoes?" He asks Aynslee. "The noodles." She answers. He looks at Miss Lori; waiting for his order. "Oh...I will have the steak." She writes it down, "Alright," Taking the menus she says, "Your drinks and salad will be here shortly." She ambles away. Aynslee had never been in any place this fancy and upscale before. There is a light chatter amongst the other couples, the atmosphere is soothing, the lighting is slightly dimmer just enough to give that romantic feel, and to give a romantic feel there are colored unscented candles on some of the tables. The change was very overwhelming for Aynslee but on some other, level it is very nice to not eat fast food all the time. "How's your leg?" Tyson says breaking her thoughts. Aynslee moves it around under the table, "It's good. Doesn't hurt as bad." She starts fiddling with the coaster. "That's good. Maryanne helped with that." Tyson credits Maryanne for coming up with a pain cream that works almost instantly with the side effect of dozing off for a few hours or so. Aynslee   "She's a nice person." Aynslee agrees nodding her head. "I feel like I know you from somewhere . . ." Aynslee says lightly tapping the coaster on the glass table, wanting to go ahead and get it out and in the air.   Tyson leans forward. "We went to high school together. I was the all American nerd. We were best friends along with a few other people."   Aynslee tilts her head to the right, trying her best to remember through the migraine. The tapping of the coaster stops; remembering, "YOU! You're Tyson "Pop" Reese?"   He flinches at that nickname and scrunches his face a little. "Yes, I am." He got the nickname pop because he had such bad acne and the teenagers would say Pop! While walking behind him. He sits back while Aynslee smiles, "Wow. Long time."   Tyson nods, "Very long time." smiling.   Their eye connection is broken when Miss Lori bring the champagne ice bucket and two wine glasses. She sets them down on the coasters and pops the cork off the wine bottle causing people to cheer.   Aynslee did not know what the cheering was about, but she too cheered, that caused Tyson to chuckle at her. Another waitress that almost resembles Miss Lori; places the salads in front of Tyson and Aynslee. Miss Lori shoes the waitress away while she pours the wine gently in the wine glass and places the champagne bottle back in the bucket of ice. "Your entrees will be out shortly." She then touts off to tend to another couple at a different table.   Aynslee opens her napkin and sees two forks, two spoons, and one knife. The pairs of silverware looked the same to her, so she picks up one fork and starts to dig into her salad. Tyson notices that she is using the wrong fork but says nothing to her; all he could do smile.   5 Patrick Larkin West   The visiting room is loud with the clamor of convicts speaking to their families, friends, business associates, and lawyers.   Patrick West sits at a small child like faded pink table alone as he looks around for his homeboy. All of the other tables were taken, that is the only reason why he is sitting at the child's table.   His cynical brown eyes look at the clock, "Shit, but the time that nigga shows, I will be in a fucking box under the jail." 2 minutes later, a rusty old- young man with a yellow bandana around his forehead sits at the table with Patrick. "About time. Nigga."   "Dude, shit ain't good."   Patrick all but raises his voice, "Da fuck you mean "shit ain't good", Chubbs?" He slams his chains that are cuffed to his wrist down on the table; angry.   "Fuck. Someone saved her. We don't know who or how he figured out she was there, but someone got her out of there." Chubbs explains. Patrick nods. "There was a shootout and he shot Mel, man. So, I ran." Chubbs continues explaining.   Patrick's eyebrows knit together in fury, "You two were supposed to finish the job. Not half-assed it. And your bitch ass ran?" He whispers to Chubbs, Chubbs leans into Patrick whispering as well, "You did not tell us that she was a fighter. It was hard to even knock that bitch out. Talking about kill the bitch. Hell, the way she was fighting you'd think that she wanted to live."   Patrick laughs uproariously that made some people turn to look at them. But, just in an instant that laugh was replaced with a scowl, "Da fuck y'all bitches looking at?"   Everyone that was looking turn around and goes back to their own conversations.   Patrick's eyes Chubbs, "Yeah, she is a fighter alright. As many black eyes that girl gave me, it's still a fucking miracle that I can see. But, I never said that it would be an easy job, Aynslee ain't no punk. The girl can hold her own when she isn't on drugs. That's why I told y'all to drop her favorite drug in the mail slot."   Patrick stares at the table in deep thought, "Then you guys must have bought that weak ass shit from one of these fake ass dope dealers. But, I want y'all to find her. Put Sinab, Damien, and Loko on it. I want every city shaken down and every crack house, jail cell, and friends' house checked. I want full reports on what you guys find." Very annoyed at the task. He couldn't believe that he asked his boys to do a simple but not so easy job and they half-assed the damn thing. Fuck!   An annoying buzzer buzzes letting the inmates know that visiting hours are over. "I want her dead," Patrick says as he is hauled away to the general population.   The annoying wall to wall chatter and dominoes being banged dramatically on the filthy steel grey tables of the jail hall, made Patrick all the more enraged then to top it off with the fact that Aynslee got away.   He wondered how in the hell did she escape?! He sits at the second to last table, the only clean table in that jail hall.   "Nigs, don't know how to clean up after themselves," Patrick says as she signals his cell mate over.   His slanted blue eyes, fine black faded style hair, wide chest build due to working out 24/7, and deeply tanned copper tone skin completes his thick eyebrows. With a wide gap, he walks over to Patrick, holding his jumper pants up. Smiling, he gives Patrick dap, then sits down straddling the bench. "Sup man?"   Patrick shakes his head, "Nun much, Royce." He looks around the general population of murders, thieves, pimps, drug dealers, murder suspects, DUI's, and abusers. Royce smiles half his teeth missing and most replaced with false due to a fight yesterday. "Did you get that lying, cheating bitch?"   Patrick frowns and gets angry all over again, "Nah, man. She phoned help after I told them two fools to make sure she had no way of communication. But, they either didn't listen or she had a backup phone."   Royce titters and drums his fingers on the table, "Probably calling all those nigs she was fucking with and got pregnant by."   Patrick scoffs knowing that was the truth. "Plus, where she get money to get a phone? Her lazy ass doesn't work at all. So how the fu-."   "One of them fools she was messing with. She probably put it down on him so good that he bought her a phone and all those other things she got."   Patrick continues to stare out into the population. "Yeah." His mind forming into a deeper hate for Aynslee; just from that information along.   He blinks turning to Royce, "I am having it fixed right now. And hopefully they will actually kill that lying ass bitch instead of thinking or assuming that she's dead." A female police guard/officer walks up behind Patrick. "Patrick West."   Patrick looks at the female officer, "Sup, officer Sheyn?" He gets this goofy smile for the brown eyed female officer.   Unfazed by his smile, she cuts her eyes at him. "It's time for your therapy session with Dr. Morris."   He scowls; he hated it, but it is mandatory for him to go while he is in this hell hole. "Ight. Catch ya later, Roy." He gets up and Royce nods to him a 'see ya'.   Following the female officer down an empty hallway, Patrick tries to strike up a conversation. "So, how's your sister doing?"   Officer Sheyn sighs in annoyance, "She's fine. Not like you care, so why are you ever worried about her?"   They stop at the end of the hallway and turn to their right where a sandy closed door set. "I do worry about her and I do care about her. She is the mother of my kids. How can I not worry about her?" Patrick almost whines.   Officer Sheyn rolls her eyes, "Yeah, along with your son and daughter. They are suffering because you chose to do the things that you do. They need a father and I wouldn't be surprised at all if my little sister left your ass for someone better. Someone that can actually help her."   She knocks on the door, a little irritated at the fact that he actually thinks that he is doing the right thing with his life. But she was not the one to try and get him in line.   "But, I do. I told you the story behind Aynslee; the whore. I felt like I had to take care of her-." Patrick tries to spin a lie but is interrupted.   "Just a minute." A male voice says from behind the door.   "Take care of her when she told me that she was pregnant. But, when she lost it, she latched onto me." Patrick continues to explain.   The door opens interrupting Patrick's sentence. Officer Sheyn waves Patrick in then closes the door behind her, not wanting for him to explain anymore. She knew all about his lies and cheating ways from her sister. Night after night when her sister would call her crying about what Patrick had done or what she saw Patrick doing.   Leaving the two male together alone, Patrick's therapist is a 40 something-year-old man with amber colored eyes, heavyset figure, and a thin mustache. "Okay, Mr. West, sit down and let's get this over with," Dr. Morris demands.   Patrick plops down on the sofa and rests his head on the back of the sofa while Dr. Morris prepares for his client. Patrick hated these therapy sessions. "Alright, we started...err...stopped with Aynslee and how you two met," Dr. Morris says flipping through the notebook that has Patrick's name written across it.   Patrick sighs and sits up. "We met when she was attending Winter University for Journalism. She was always busy with clinical, papers; always doing something for herself to get into a higher grade."   "Hmm...Okay. That's what really attracted you to her?"   Patrick had to admit, smiling a little bit, "Yeah, she had that 'go-getter' mentality that was sexy to me. She didn't need to depend on anyone, so it took her a long time to let me in. To trust me."   "Did you tell her about your child and wife?"   Patrick sighs giving a little scoff to his answer, "No, I knew that Aynslee would want nothing to do with me if I told her about that. I helped her pay for school, books, and all that so she wouldn't have to work those two jobs just to pay for school." He rubs his hands together and looks at some of the bruises on his knuckles from fighting men and Aynslee. He sighs, he hated these sessions, but they were mandatory for his sentencing if he wanted to get out early or be up for parole.   "When was the first time you hit Aynslee?" Dr. Morris asks fiddling with his pen.   "Our second-year anniversary. She wanted to go to some fancy restaurant and I had other things to do. She kept nagging me about it...I just snapped at her. The next thing I knew, she was huddled in a dark corner of my condo crying and hugging her . . . knees." He caught a tear just as it was about to slide down his cheek. He didn't like talking about that because he never thought he would really hit Aynslee at all. But, it came down to it and the drugs that he took got the best of him that night.   "All the while, she's in there by herself while you are at your wife's house with your child?" He writes down notes.   "Right. I started drinking a lot because the wife was stressing me about some other girl. The wife is a hood chick, but she is not stupid and knows when something is amiss. She knew that there was someone else, but I denied it and kept it moving."   Dr. Morris nods, "Okay."   "No...Wait....it wasn't in college that I first met Aynslee" Patrick says really thinking about the very first time he had met her, ". . . It was high school. Seras High. Her 11th-grade year and everything else happened accordingly."   Nodding, Dr. Morris scribbles that down and moves on to the next topic of the matter. "Tell me about the pregnancies." Dr. Morris wanted to touch on everything...or at least half of the Aynslee issue.   "She got pregnant first at 19 years old after she graduated high school and got accepted into college. Yeah, we were fucking but I knew she was cheating with her best friend. I forget his name, but I paid for her to have the baby aborted. Then around the same time that she got her abortion, I found out that my other girlfriend was pregnant."   "But, you let your other girlfriend keep the baby. Why is that??"   "Because I knew that she was faithful to me. So, I wanted to be a father to my child." Patrick says truly believing what he could remember a few years back.   "Did you ever think about how Aynslee felt after the abortion?" Dr. Morris tilts his head to the left.   Patrick felt himself tearing up as something pull on his heart strings, "No. I just knew that she started whoring around before we met." At least, that's what he was told by quite a few fellow students at the college campus.   "Who told you that and who was she supposedly whoring around with?" Dr. Morris asks.   "Some students had told me about it. But, now the more I think about it or have thought about it. I am not so sure that they meant her. Because there were two Aynslee's. There was Aynslee Velasquez; my girlfriend and Ansley Kiet; head cheerleader. They use to call her Anyslee...because she would sleep with any—-." As his words slowed and the smile on his face fades, as he mentions the second Ansley, realizing what he had done. He had mistaken one Aynslee for the other and caused a huge fight amongst Aynslee Velasquez and Aynslee Kiet that day during P.E.   Dr. Morris nods while Patrick groans at his past memories and his own past mistakes. "Okay. Go on."   "Yeah, so Aynslee kept getting pregnant. At one point, when she was spending the night with me, I got so stoned and drunk. I killed...the baby." More tears swell up in Patrick's eyes, coming to terms with what he had done was taking a huge toll on his feelings. He never wanted to reveal or relive this part of his life, because it was one of the painful parts. "She was in the hospital for months. Not just because of the baby, but she slipped into a deep depression. A depression that would have caused her to seriously injure or kill herself. I visited her and told her that it was one of the drug dealers fault because he took some of my clients from me. I told her that I was sorry."   "Another lie." Dr. Morris questions but already knowing the answer.   Patrick nods. "The beatings got more and more frequent and anything triggered them. Dishes in the sink, clothes on the floor, no food on the table, anything so small." "Did you ever hit your wife like that?" Dr. Morris asks feeling a little disgusted by his actions. "A few times, but she knew what it was when I walked in that house. I didn't have any issues with her, Aynslee was/is very head strong. But, when she fought back and knocked me unconscious. She left..." He chuckles, remembering that night, "packed her shit and left. Found her a small condo on the other side of town about 3 hours away. I convinced her to come back, but she wouldn't stay with me. Quickly, my mind knew she was cheating again. Why would she not want to stay in the house I bought us?"   "So she wouldn't have to hide the beatings from anyone?"   Patrick wipes his face once he realizes that he was still crying. "If she didn't piss me off, it would have never come to that." Blaming Aynslee.   Dr. Morris shakes his head is not believing what he is hearing, but he has heard far worse than what Patrick is telling him, "Did your father ever hit your mother?"   Patrick scoffs with a smirk, "All the time, but it was because she'd always do something wrong." He leans back resting his back on the sofa.   "Did he hit you?"   Silence came to Patrick, giving Dr. Morris his answer, "Do you remember how that felt?" Patrick nods the frown getting deeper, "Not good. Hurt a lot actually. But, all it did was make me a stronger man and he taught me that that's the only way to keep a female in the line." Patrick smirks, proud of what his father taught him. "Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't." He shrugs very nonchalantly about the matter. Dr. Morris sighs wrapping up the session, "Alright, I will see you next time at the same time, so we can touch bases on that matter." Patrick nods glad that the session is over.     6 Tyson Reese   He was glad that the dinner went well. Tyson looks out the window of his office, the sun's rays lighting up his office. He swivels his chair from side to side in front of the window in deep thought about Aynslee. He felt blissful from the dinner he had with Aynslee last night.   He almost forgot how great of a conversationalist she was. She didn't look ill a like a crackhead, so what was she doing on that side of town? That really did rack his mind up. The day when he found Aynslee still rings horrible thoughts in his mind, he touches his chin.   Tyson knew that's where she grew up at but back in high school, both of them along with two other best friends made a pack, a vow, a deep promise to never come back to that side of town ever again. What made Aynslee go over there?   The ringing of his office phone scares him; flinching and almost falling backwards in his chair. He catches the corner of his desk to make sure he did not fall and swivels towards his desk and answers, "Apex Science Computers; Tyson Reese speaking."   "You said you would call me back."   Tyson sighs at the annoying voice on the other end of the ling, "Noelle, I said no such thing. Plus, I told you that I wanted nothing to do with you and you know why."   Noelle sighs, "But your son..."   "That ain't none of my children," Tyson yells thankful that his door to his office is closed. "I told you this."   "He is your son, Tyson. He wants to see you. Please." Noelle begs.   "No, he is not. The doctors said so when he needed a transfusion. Our blood types do NOT match!"   "Doctors are a bunch of quakes and don't know what they are talking about. He is your son, Tyson. Please, believe me. I want you to have him in your life...or him have yo-."   "He is not my child." Tyson angrily slams down the phone causing the side of the phone to crack. He rubs his temples and puffs out a stressful sigh as he looks up at the ceiling. He did not understand why she thought that the kid was/is his.       After he found out that he and the baby had different blood types, he had the doctors check everything else right down to the baby hairs on the baby's head. The DNA was not a match anywhere. As of now, he did not know what to do about Noelle and the whole jest of the baby matter. Then finding out Noelle was already married, when he was about to propose to her. Her husband comes out of nowhere and threatens Tyson to stay away from Noelle.   He didn't understand why females lied to him? Or why he picked such shitty options. He really did have a thing for Noelle, but that thing was long gone now. He just wanted a decent female with something going for herself other than having a husband that runs around and sells dope all day. He wanted a female that does something for herself without the help of a man but just wanted a man for the company.   Not sexual company either, but the real company. But the old days were long gone, where gentlemen were actually gentlemen and ladies were actual ladies. Now, there is a variety of personalities from both male and female going on.   His door creaking open interrupts his thoughts. He looks up to see Maryanne standing there, "I knocked." She informs him.   He must have been so deep in his own thoughts and feelings that he didn't hear the knock on his door. "It's fine. Come in."   Maryanne sits on the sofa to the right of his desk. "You have a meeting with Brownie Jordan for the merging of your two companies at 2:30pm." She reminds him of the schedule. "Then, at 5:30pm you and Tam Blusteel have a meeting about my concoction that I made a week ago."   She looks at Tyson, "something bothering you?"   Tyson sighs. "Naw, just work. What would happen if I took a rain check on those meetings?"   Maryanne pulls a notepad from her back pocket and flips through the sheets in order to find what she is looking for. "Okay. Found it. The reschedule would be on Thursday at 7am with Jordan and for Blusteel...10am."   Tyson nods. "Okay, that's good." He stands and packs up his things. He seriously needs a personal day, considering the fact that he hadn't taken one since his father handed the business over to him.   "Are you leaving for the day?" Maryanne asks standing.   Tyson nods holding the door open for Maryanne to get out, he closes the office door. "Well..." He stops in the middle of his sentence.   Tyson walks to the elevator door. Maryanne follows behind him asking him, "Where are you going?"   Tyson repeatedly pushes the 'down' button. "With the fellas. I need to think, like really think." The elevator dings and opens up. Tyson gets on the elevator.  "Cover things for me, please. Don't go overboard." The elevator door closes and goes down to the ground floor where executive parking is. He gets off and walks to his car. He is suddenly thrown into his car face first and a cold steel pointing to his neck.   "Where's Aynslee Velasquez?" The gruff voice demands.   "I honestly don't know." Sweat rolls down Tyson's face as fear settles in making his heart beat quicken.   "Yeah, you do. I know you do." The unknown assailant pushes the gun into the back of Tyson's neck a little harder. "I want to know. Where is she at!"   Tyson sighs trying to stay calm, "Look man. I do not know where Aynslee is. Last time I saw her was when I picked her from that alley. The next morning she bounced, I swear man."   The unknown assailant chuckles stepping off Tyson but still has his gun aimed at the back of his head. Without a pause, Tyson draws his own gun. The masked assailant's eyes widen in fear. "I told you I don't know where the fuck she is, bruh."   Tyson's guns is aimed directly in the middle of the assailant's forehead, also with his finger gently tapping the trigger. Thinking if he should pull the trigger or not. It would certainly make his day to actually be able to dead a nigga and get away with it like he used to be able to do. But, now cops had stepped up their game and would call swat faster than anything else.   "A'ight dawg." He drops his gun and takes off running at full speed. Whilst hauling ass, he mumbles, "Man, fuck orders! I am not dying for any female."   Blinking a little stunned, Tyson couldn't believe that happened. A thug that ran from a gunfight after trying to be all hard. All Tyson could do was blink in confusion as he got into his car shaking his head. He throws the gun on the passenger seat and drives out of the parking garage.   7 Aynslee Velasquez   Aynslee stirs her hot tea with a very thin and small straw whilst sitting at a local cafe waiting. There were a lot of people out this lovely Saturday afternoon, chatting and walking with friends and family. Just to enjoy a relaxing day for Aynslee is always a good thing, especially knowing that Patrick is in jail for all those charges.   But, Aynslee continues to look over her shoulder every once in a while, knowing that she couldn't let her guard down. Today, she is going to do just that. A small female that almost resembles Aynslee taps her on the shoulder. Aynslee turns around and smiles.   She stands up and hugs the female. "Hey, Luna."   Luna hugs her half-sister back with the biggest smile and a mouth full of metal braces. "HEY."   Luna is slightly darker than Aynslee and had shorter curlier hair, but no one could really tell that they were half-sisters. They always were told that they were real sisters, which was never a bad thing because that is what they considered themselves to be.   "Sit down. Sit down." Aynslee says excitedly. Luna takes the seat in front of Aynslee; placing her massive purse that resembles a huge duffle bag; to Aynslee; in the seat next to her. Aynslee never understood nor liked the whole purse concept. They always got in the way and then some females would use their purse as a trash bag, which Aynslee always found so disgusting and vile.   A female waiter comes up to Luna and takes her order of chamomile tea with lemon and a blueberry bagel. The female waiters goes to fill the order in. Luna tucks her own sandy brown hair behind her ear. Aynslee slightly sips her now lukewarm tea. Aynslee utters, "So, what's new? How's dad?"   Luna rolls her eyes with a smile, "Dad is dad. A hot mess in that house of his with that gold digging girlfriend of his. My husband Makio is great and we are expecting." She squeals the word 'expecting'.   Aynslee squeals as well. Luna reaches into her massive purse and pulls out the lengthy pictures, hands it to Aynslee. Aynslee takes the pictures and looks at them. The sonograms of Luna's baby, a sense of jealousy swells up along with some tears. But, she swallows her emotions and put a smile on for her sister. "Wow, Lulu."   Luna takes the pictures, "Yeah." She looks lovingly at them and puts them back in her purse. The female waiter comes back with Luna's order and with   Aynslee's special order of soup. "Anything else? Would you like me to warm up your tea, miss?" She asks Aynslee, Aynslee nods. The female waiter takes her teacup and walks off into the café. Then comes back with Aynslee's now hot tea, she moves on to another table. Aynslee and Luna smile at each other.   Aynslee didn't know what to say about Luna's pregnancy, a warm hand touches Aynslee's. Aynslee looks up at Luna touching her hand for a sense of comfort . . . which starts to bring back memories. The only soft memory that she has. . . 8 Aynslee   13 years earlier   Aynslee at 13 years old coughs violently due to her mother's cigarette smoke being blown in her face whilst her mother tries to fix her hair bow that lays crooked in her naturally curly hair. "   Hush up now. I knew I should have made you go get a perm with that birthday money that your grandparents gave you. But, NO..." Her mother spat annoyed at the situation and the bow.   Aynslee stood still . . . well tries to stand still while her mother angrily fiddles with the bow and mumbles about her first husband cheating and the daughter that came with that. Aynslee couldn't understand the rest of it, it died down to wordless mumbles. The doorbell rings. "Don't you move?" Her mother warns wagging her bony finger in Aynslee's face as her mother goes to answer the door.   Aynslee stood on a small stool in front of the full-length mirror. Her long hair covered some of her left eyes, her mother hated that, so that's why her mother was trying to pin it back with a huge ugly pink flower bow. The bow didn't even match the color of the dress.   Aynslee gets off the stool and goes through the clear hair box that set on the bench next to the mirror. Finding on a pretty blue hair clip that matched her green and blue frill dress that her mom got her at the thrift shop earlier that day. She goes back in front of the mirror and pin her hair away from her eye, then looks at herself in the mirror. Highly satisfied with the way she looks. It's also been a while since her mother had bought her anything for Aynslee.   "AYNSLEE! Get in here!" Her mother yells. Aynslee hurriedly rushes to the living room then stops in her tracks when she sees a little girl about the same age as she. They both blink at each other, Luna smiles and hugs Aynslee, Aynslee hugs back. Upon letting go, Aynslee goes to a very tall man standing behind Luna.   He squats down and twirls Aynslee around, she giggles as Luna joins in on the spinning, both their dresses flaring out. He kisses Aynslee's forehead, he stands up as Aynslee's mother blows smoke into the man's face. The man is attractive, in general, Aynslee knew that he is her father because of their eyes, nose, and mouth shapes. Also, because she had seen him plenty of times standing outside talking with her mother.   Aynslee never knew about what, but she would always guess that it was about him seeing Aynslee. But, her mother saying no for whatever reason. What Aynslee really didn't understand was how he saw her mother as attractive. Maybe it was long ago, the man grabs Aynslee's hand along with Luna but Luna grabbed Aynslee's other hand instead of her father's.   "I will have her back by 10:30pm." The man says. Aynslee's mother blows more smoke as she squats down to Aynslee. "Behave Aynslee! I mean it. Act like you have some common sense! For once in your life." Her mother warns, growling, then standing up and waving them off.   The day was filled with fun. They went out to eat, on the way to the restaurant the man introduced himself as Carvel Killian, Aynslee's father as well as Luna's. Also, had Aynslee and Luna ditch the frilly dresses and change into some brand new jeans, graphic tees, and high top sneakers. The restaurant was a high-end place, but it was full of screaming kids, video game noise, and the smell of garment pizza along with other unknown foods to Aynslee.   She and Luna got money from their father and took off for the arcade in the back and middle of the restaurant. Aynslee remembers passing this place on the school bus and on the city bus. She would beg her mother to go especially when Aynslee was invited to a friend's birthday party. Her mother would reply, "You ain't got no friends. You going somewhere to screw." Whatever that meant. But now, all that mattered was that she was there.   Afterwards, they went swimming and Aynslee was taught how to swim by her father with a little help and words of encouragement from Luna. Aynslee is a really quick study.   Later it was time to go home, Aynslee dreaded the very idea of going back to where she was not wanted or loved. She even begged her father to let her stay with him and Luna. Luna cried while her father explained to Aynslee the court system would not allow it.   That was the last time she'd see Luna and her father, her mother had said. But, Aynslee was not about to let her mother steal her only joy away from her.   So, Aynslee would sneak out and her father would pick her up from the corner stop and take her to school sometimes. However, when Aynslee got out of high school and went to college. She was relieved that she and Luna were taking the same math and literature classes.   Present   Aynslee didn't know what to say about her sister's pregnancy, but she really is truly happy that her sister had found someone that she can really trust and start a family with.   A warm hand grazes her hand, Aynslee looks up to see Luna touching her hand and handing her a napkin. She takes the napkin, Luna signals to wipe her face. Aynslee dabs her face and looks at the napkin, small tear drops were on it. She hadn't even noticed that she is crying, smiling she dabs her eyes again and sniffles. "Sorry."   Luna frowns at her sister, "I know that both of your babies would have been at least 6 or 7 years old. In the 2nd grade or 1st grade."   Aynslee had to pull herself together, she just had to. No real reason why. "Yeah, they would but there is no telling how many I've truly had." She jokes and Luna smiles along with her older sister.   After their light lunch, they walk down the strip and enter a thrift shop. There really weren't very many people in the thrift shop, Aynslee looks around at the very tidy store. Most stores on the strip were unclean and full of dust; not this one. Bauhaus is what the store is called.   Luna goes towards the baby things which is in the very back of the store and Aynslee moves to the business clothes located to the left of the shoes in the front of the store. She seriously needed a job and she knew that her old job of being a corporate receptionist probably wouldn't take her back after all the days Patrick made her miss.   But, it is worth a try to see if they would. She picks up a few nice looking skirts and then remembers that Maryanne bought her clothes but not enough for a job or an interview. She grabs a loose buggy.   "Hey, that's my fuc-Aynslee?" A female says about to go off but when she sees who it is, she thinks twice.   Aynslee stares at the female and her own eyes widen in shock, "Noelle? Noelle Jellel?"   They hug each other and say their greetings to each other as well. Noelle says, "Wow, you look marvelous!" stepping back to look at Aynslee.   Aynslee looks at Noelle's beady, tired coffee colored eyes, baggy clothes, messed up straight neck- length weave, very narrow build, and dark chocolate skin tone.   "So do you." Noelle scoffs, "Psh, girl. No need to lie to me. I know I look a hot mess, but it's the life of motherhood."   Aynslee nods as a little boy runs up to Noelle holding a faded red fire truck that's missing a wheel. "My goodness." Aynslee looks down at the little boy. "Well, hello."   The little boy smiles and blushes a little. "Hey." Aynslee pinches his cheek, gently and he slyly scoots behind Noelle. Aynslee smiles, "He is so cute."   "Thank you. He will be...5 years old, next month and trying to do a cartoon-themed party is running me ragged." Noelle laughs. "What's going on with you?"   Aynslee answers. "Here with my sister; Luna." She nods over to the baby aisle. Noelle looks to where Aynslee nods to, "Oh, I see. Didn't know you had a sister." She turns to Aynslee, "What else is new?"   Aynslee sighs, "Finally, left that boyfriend of mine with a little help." Noelle shoes her son away to the toys. "Ugh, I am glad to hear that. No, kids?"" Aynslee shakes her head, "Not yet, but I am looking for a job right now."   "Oh, I know that a company that deals with computers is hiring. It is called..." She snaps her fingers trying to remember the name of the company, "Oh yeah...Kaleidoscope Company because of all the different colors that the motherboard of some computers and laptops have. Hell, I don't know."   Aynslee nods liking that idea, since computers and literature is what she majored in when she went to college. Patrick tried to get her to drop out and depend on him completely. But she was not having that. When she graduated in computer science and landed a job with a big corporation as a receptionist/computer tech, she would often make more than he did. Which really caused a huge fight within the household.   "What's the company's address?" Aynslee asks. Noelle shrugs her bony shoulders, "I know that it's off the interstate slight right." She uses her hands to direct herself on how to get there so that she can make sure she is telling Aynslee the right thing. "It should be on the left 5 miles from the old Burger King. If you can remember all of that." She titters.   Aynslee nods hoping that she could; because her memory has been a little foggy since that day. Luna comes up to Aynslee and Noelle. "Hello, I am Luna. Aynslee's sister." Luna introduces herself. "Noelle. I and Aynslee were best friends back in high school." Noelle informs. Luna nods and says, "She told me about all the trouble you two would get into." Luna teases causing Aynslee to gasp and Noelle to smirk and roll her eyes. Luna turns to Aynslee telling her, "They didn't have the car seat I wanted so they said they'd order it for me."   Aynslee did not know that thrift stores could order anything. Luna looks at the skirts in Aynslee's hands, "Paying for those?"   Aynslee nods, "Yeah. Mind doing it for me?"   She hands Luna the clothes and a Platinum card from her back pocket as Luna nods. Luna takes the card, "Tyson Reese? Yall re-connected after a few years now?" Luna teases as she arches her brow on a more serious note.   Aynslee giggles, "Something like that." Luna purses her lips together and goes to the counter to pay for the skirts and shirts.   Aynslee turns back to Noelle whose face has suddenly dropped, "What's wrong, Noelle?" Aynslee asks concerned.   "Huh? Oh, nothing. I have got to get out of here, really. Got a lot of things to do for this boy's party. Son?" Confused, Aynslee nods while her son comes running and grabs his mother's hand and they leave the shop; abruptly.   9 Patrick West   Another day in the hellhole, he didn't know what he was going to do. He's heard from some of his henchmen about the progress on finding Aynslee; none. He felt like he was in a huge game of Hide N Seek with this broad and she is winning. Around the same afternoon, he got a visit from his lawyer, telling Patrick there is no bail at all and the next hearing isn't until next month.   Also, that he has a very good chance of going to prison without parole. Patrick got irate and cursed the lawyer out because he wanted to be out on the day of his son's birthday. For that he spent 2 whole weeks in solitary confinement. Now that he is out, he had no clue what he needed to do, so he call his baby-mama/wife; Noelle.   "Babe, I miss you so much. You have no idea." Patrick admits. He never missed Noelle because she was always there but now that she isn't, he wanted her. It took him at least 4 tries just to get her on the phone, but he didn't question it. He knew that she is dealing with his kids and trying to get them in line while he is gone.   "I miss you too. I saw an old friend of mine at the store a few days ago." Noelle says perking up a little bit.   "Oh?"   "Aynslee. She and I use to be best friends back in high school...isn't that something? I didn't even know that she was still living here. I thought she would been living the high life somewhere else."   Patrick could feel a lump form in his throat and his throat dry out, but he swallows it down enough to answer, "Really now?"   "Yeah. She was so smart and pretty as well."   "What does she look like? Now, I mean?" Patrick needed a description to give his men so they can complete the mission of icing Aynslee because none of them really knows what she looks like now. Patrick knew that she didn't look like the skinny crack whore that she used to look like.   "Uh..." A crash sounds. "Shit...Brayson stop it!!" Noelle yells. "Sorry Patrick, your son...Don't hit your sister! Stop. Boy!" Noelle yells again then returns to the phone. "I have got to go. Your kids are fighting now and your daughter just backhanded your son."   Patrick laughs, "That's my gir-."   "NO! The way they fight is not normal. Bray-godly...Alexandria sto-...Gotta go, Pat." Before he could say by she already hung up the phone. He made a note to himself to send Noelle a few grand to pay for Brayson's party and her to shop for herself; on Tuesday.   Hanging up the phone, Patrick turns to see Officer Sheyn.   "Therapy time, west."   "Duh." Patrick back talks, jokingly. Sheyn cranes her neck and it cracks, not in the mood to be played with. Patrick widens his eyes, "Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean it like that."   Walking down the hallway, Dr. Morris' door is open and Sheyn shoves Patrick in the office and walks off. Patrick sits down on the sofa as he waits for Morris to come in. Doing these therapy sessions, Patrick feels as though he has made some type of progress.   Dr. Morris walks in and sits down, grabs the notepad for Patrick off the bookshelf behind him. "We left off with...you're..." he flips through the notepad, then grabs Patrick's folder from the small coffee table beside him. Flipping through that, he answers, "Childhood? That's where we wanted to really touch bases with." He explains while getting in the position to listen to Patrick.   Patrick sighs, "Right. Born to Tanya Ewing and Phillip West. I am the youngest boy of 10 children. 5; 3 older and 2 younger sisters and 4 plus I equals 5 brothers." He looks up at the ceiling trying to think what else to tell Dr. Morris, shaking his head he starts with schooling, "Uhh, I went to school until my 10th grade year, then dropped out because it was boring. I felt as though I was too smart for all that mess they were trying to teach us. My oldest sisters got much of my parents praise because they went on and went to college to 'be someone' as my parents put it. All the while, I and my second older brother; Sylis. Got none. No praise, no love, or affection. All my other siblings went to be their own persons, you know."   Dr. Morris nods making notes. Patrick continues jumping from schooling to his siblings to his father, "The first time dad hit mom was when I was 13 years old. He hit her because dinner wasn't ready when he got home from a very hard and long day of work." Patrick frowns slightly, remembering the way his mother swirled about when his father hit her, "It was scary, the way she swirled around and would catch herself on the counter, but he told me that's how a man...real men keep their bitches, females in line. So, I went with that. Me and my brother.   Dad started hitting her more frequently. For whatever reason, clothes, shoes, dinner, noise, dirty house, anything would really set him off."   Dr. Morris nods. Patrick goes on, "But things changed when I and my brother; Sylis got home from school; mom wasn't there. Instead, there were police cars and an ambulance in front of the house. Neighbors from other hoods came to be nosy. My siblings gathered ar-." He starts to choke up and covers his eyes, "They told us that dad had beaten mom into a coma and they had taken her to the hospital."   He huffs out some air in order to keep the tears from spilling from his eyes. It's been a long time since he's told anyone this; the death of his mother. The only person he has ever told was Aynslee. "I lashed out and the cops had to put me in handcuffs and had me to sit in the back of the squad car. Dad was being hauled off to jail or prison. The next day, mom was pronounced brain dead. So, we; as siblings decided to say our goodbyes to her and have them pull the plug. The living arrangements worked out to where: I and my brother; Sylis stayed with our oldest brother; Daedrus and his wife Haelyn until college. We didn't want anyone going to an orphanage and knew that mom wanted us to stay together." He rubs the tears from his face, "whoop."   Dr. Morris nods and looks at Patrick and nods at the tissue box sitting beside him on the sofa. He takes a tissue and wipes his face as Dr. Morris began, "So, you developed that from your father? Correct? The abusive part."   Patrick nods, "Yeah, I even suggested it to Daedrus for his head strong wife, but he wouldn't and told me that hitting a female is a punk's move." Patrick scoffs and raises his voice a little, "She always walked all over him. Telling him to do things she should be doing."   "Such as?"   "Cooking for one. Cleaning, changing diapers...you get the idea. All she did was run around on him and fuck with other dudes."   "Did she work?"   "Hell if I knew. She was hardly there. So, I never got to ask. But when I was 17 they kicked me out for raising my hand to their 3 and 4 year old daughters."   Horrified, Dr. Morris asks, "You were going to strike their kids? For what reason?" Disgust filled the Doctor's stomach as he felt the bile rise up in his chest. He chokes it back.   "Making too much noise, I had homework to do for my GED class. So, I just raised my hand as if I was going to hit them. It was to scare them. Daedrus kicked me out, I told Sylis but he betrayed me and stayed. That left me homeless for about a good year and a half."   "That's when you got into the game drug?" Doctor questions.   "Right and when I caught my first charge also when I met Aynslee."   "Okay. Hard childhood. Adult hood a little worse."   Patrick nods and leans forward.   Dr. Morris goes on, "You met Aynslee during," He flips through pages of the notepad and stops at the middle, "Her college years?"   Patrick nods. "Actually..."   Dr. Morris looks up, "I met Aynslee in high school before I met Noelle. So, it was before I dropped out however, there were two Aynslee's. There was the one I dated and the slutty cheerleader. So, when they would talk bad about one I always thought they were-."   "Talking about your Aynslee?"   "Right. Which they probably were but I didn't say anything about it to anyone. I just made my own assumptions." Patrick says nodding his head, knowing that they already touched on this subject. But, he didn't mind repeating it so the Doctor could take it down again.   Dr. Morris; in his profession isn't allowed to judge or make judgments but the way life is/was for Patrick seemed all wrong. Really wrong. But, who is he to make that kind of judgment? Not God.   "So, you and Aynslee met in high school along with Noelle."   Patrick nods at the statement.   "Alright. Aynslee didn't want to date you in high school?"   "Uhh..." He nods, "yeah. Cause I was dating Noelle." He confirms.   Dr. Morris nods and jots that down. "But, in college, despite you still dating Noelle and being engaged to her. You still tried to get with Aynslee?" He asks going over notes from the notepad.   "Correct."   Dr. Morris looks at his notes and none of it made any sense to him. None! He drops his pend and rubs the bridge of his nose.   "Okay. Freshman year of high school, I met Noelle and Aynslee, they were best friends." Patrick begins breaking down the relationship of the love triangle.   Dr. Morris nods and picks up his pen and begins writing what Patrick is saying down to try and get a better perspective of what Patrick is saying and thinking. His fucked up thought process.   "Aynslee was serious about her grades and wouldn't date me. So, I dated Noelle instead, since she wanted to be with me and she was not bad looking either."   "Okay." He continues to write.   "So...I dropped out but still dated Noelle then I moved and found Aynslee at College campus."   "Okay. So, she got out of the hood?"   "Yeah. She let me pay for her books sometimes. And then that's when she and I started dating." Patrick says trying to get his own mind right and make sure he is saying the right things at the right time.   "She didn't know about Noelle?" Dr. Morris squints.   "No. She asked, but I always dodged the question."   "Two-timed?"   Patrick chuckles, "Damn, Doc. The way you make it sound..."   "Yeah, well...that's what it is called when you date two people at the same time."   Patrick blinks then a smirk, "Well, that's the thing with us drug dealers. But," his face turns serious, "we aren't pimps."   Dr. Morris nods but he didn't really understand that concept or Patrick's frame of mind. Still frustrated, Dr. Morris says, "Alright, I do believe our time is up." He looks at the wall clock above the bookcase full of legal books and patient behavior books. "Yeah." Dr. Morris wraps up the session as Patrick stands up.   "Thanks, Doc."   "You're welcome." He says secretly glad that he is leaving. His thought process is so dysfunctional that Dr. Morris wanted to shank him himself with the pen he was jotting down the notes with.       Patrick leaves nodding yet feeling good but horrible at the same time as he was confessing his wrongs to Dr. Morris. Everything plagued him from his mother's untimely death by the hands of his father to himself putting a hit on Aynslee and getting her strung out on drugs. Without warning an emotional wave hit him, which makes him stop in the middle of the empty hallway. Leaning against the cool wall, he looks at the ceiling. "Damn, I really messed up big time, mama."   A tear falls from his eye, quickly he wipes it away when he hears footsteps coming. Getting off the wall, Patrick continues to walk down the hallway and passes Officer Sheyn escorting another inmate to Dr. Morris office. Patrick kept his head down as to make sure they didn't see the ram emotion coming from him. Especially, the inmate that's being escorted. The inmate is a whole different story. Once in the general population area, Patrick shook off all of the emotion and mumbles, "She deserves it, for messing with those other niggas."   He smiles and finds a group of his friends.   10 Aynslee   (6 months later)    Aynslee wipes her hands on her gray baggy sweat pants as she finished moving the last box into her two bedroom condo. She looks around at the mess of boxes, her sister then hobbles up the stairs and plops down on the leather blue sofa in the living room. Luna huffs and places a hand on her growing belly.   "That was hard work," Luna says throwing her hand back, resting it on the back of the sofa.   Aynslee flips her now curly hair and turns smirking at her sister, "What you mean? You only carried 2 lamps and 1 chair."    Luna lifts her head up enough to see Aynslee standing with her hands on her hips and her lips pursed together. "Pregnant. Hello!" She circles her belly with both hands while kicking off her shoes.   Aynslee shakes her head and begins to unpack the boxes marked in green Sharpe "Dishes". She had to move out of Tyson's house, he'd become overly possessive to the point where Aynslee barely made it to her interview with the computer company Noelle told her about. She didn't understand what was wrong with these guys she chose. At first they'd be really sweet to her but when she tries to get something going for herself, they changed into complete monster demons.   Though, Tyson didn't hit her, Aynslee wasn't about to stay around until he did so. She'd been in the hospital too many times, so many that 90% of the nurses and doctors know her by name along with her chart. Plus, now she has a job and signed a sign in bonus which is how she was able to get her condo on the decent side of town.   Silently putting up the dishes, when she hear her sister lightly snoring. Sound asleep in the sofa with her hand resting gently on her belly. Aynslee smiles and moves onto the next task. Entering her bedroom, the master bedroom she nearly trips over a box and a small baggy falls out of her pocket. She catches herself and then eyes the baggy, snatching it up. Examining it, she sits on the bed, the mattresses of the bed. Sighing, she fiddles with the baggy and stares at the white and yellow substance tightly wrapped in the baggy. She inhales the smell of the baggy and closes her eyes. It smells of the honey crisp apples she use to eat as a little girl.   It has helped her in a lot of situations, the mind of a druggie. The call of the drug is calling to her, it sensing her stress and weakness for it. She rolls the baggy all over her face. Her heart beat speeds up and she can feel the hard thump of her own pulse against her skin. Coming to her senses, she quickly stands up, goes into the bathroom, and flushes the drugs down the toilet. She swore to herself that she would never turn to any type of drug again. No matter how stressed out she got or how upset a situation made her, never resort to any type of drugs. Starting to itch all over, feeling beads of sweat roll down her face,   Aynslee quickly yet silently heads outside in the cool November air. She inhales it and walks down the busy street, bustling with people. She finally got a place on the good side of town, proud of herself she is. She has made it this far without her drug of choice which is heroin. Why mess up a good thing? With the wind blowing in her hair, she looks up at the afternoon clouds, thinking the weather man says that it's supposed to—-   Her thought process is cut short by her bumping into a hard figure and knocking whatever he had in his hands out and on the ground. "Oh, I am so sorry,"   Aynslee says bending down to pick up the books.   "Oh no, it was really my fault." He over talks her, bending down as well to pick up the books. "I shouldn't have-" He looks up at the female, "Aynslee Velasquez?"   Aynslee looks at the male and covers her mouth instantly knowing exactly who he is, but not believing it, "Tk?" She looks directly into his seductive golden brown eyes.   He smiles big. "Yeah."   "Oh, my..." She covers her mouth, shocked to see an old friend from high school.   They quickly pick up the books and move to the side so they don't get ran over by the lunch rush of people. Aynslee hands him the books she has and hugs him tightly, "What are you doing here?" His warm, dark chocolate skin felt so good against her own skin and so smooth.   "Oh, I am moving here, for my new job as Athletic Scout." He answers still smiling and hugs her back just as tight, if not tighter...   "Doing big for yourself, huh?" Aynslee lets him go and folds her arms and smirks. Trying not to drool over the muscles that bulged up whenever he would bend his arm.   "Yeah." He continues to smile while holding the books. "What about you?  What brings you here?" He playfully swats her with his books, then swipes the chest length dreads from his face, with his free hand.   "I live in the Mooncrest Condos.  The single ones around the corner. Mine is the third one on the..." she thinks and puts out her left hand hesitantly then with more confidence. "Yeah, on the left. I just needed a fresh start you know. I had to get away from that town I was living in." She looks at Tk, smiling. Her heart flutters at the highly familiar scent. She remembers him having that same smell to him when he would come to school every day. She could never place what kind of scent it was, but it used to drive her crazy. Still does now.     Tk nods, "How did you manage to find that?"   Aynslee still smiling answers, "It was the last one. It was either the single condo that they had just built or a rinky-dink townhouse with grape juice stained carpets and on the bad side of town, nonetheless."    Tk's golden brown eyes widen then he smiles, they simultaneously say, "Condo."    Tk looks at his watch, "Oh hey. I have a meeting in 20 minutes and I have to go home, shower and get dressed."   "Alright."   He opens his books and rips out a clean sheet, takes a pen from his pocket, and scribbles his name, cell phone number, and address. Handing it to her, "That's me."   She looks at it, "Oh, so you live around the corner."   "Yup, just pass the basketball courts."   "Alright."   "But, umm...come by when you get a chance."   "I will."   He gives her another tight hug and then proceeds to walk backward, "See ya." waving.   "Bye." She waves then turns around and walks off, resisting the strong urge to look back but she could feel his own eyes on her.   Making it back to the condo, she enters and finds her sister looking at her from the kitchen. Some of the boxes are empty and by the front door. "Where did you go?" Luna questions.   "I went for a walk." Aynslee answers, walking into the kitchen to find her sister cooking.   "Oh? For..."She turns and looks at the clock on the wall. "Almost 45 minutes?" She turns to Aynslee.   Aynslee didn't know that she had been gone that long. She smiles and stirs the pot with the sauté vegetables in it. "I ran into an old friend of mine and we talked for a while. That's all."   "Oh?" She puts seasoning into the sautéing vegetable pan. Then moves on to the pot with a lid on it, lifting the lid she peeks in it, "Do I know him?"   Slowly stirring the vegetables, Aynslee looks up thinking. The truth is that she'd told Luna about so many guys. Not that Aynslee dated 90% of the guys she told her sister about, but guys she used to like or thought were cute. "I don't know."   "Well, come on. Don't be selfish." Luna chuckles. "What's his name?"   Aynslee smiles a little bigger than normal which causes Luna's eyes to widen. "Oh no. You have GOT to tell me now. With a smile like that." She hits Aynslee's arm with the spatula.   "Braydin Carver." Aynslee nods.   "Braydin Carver? Hm...Nope. Doesn't ring a bell." She begins to put on a pot of rice.   "TK."   Luna slowly turns to Aynslee her eyes wide again and mouth in an 'o' shape. "TK Carver? The world known basketball player?"   Confused, Aynslee slowly nods. "Yeah, I mean. Basketball, I don't really know."   Luna smirks turning the stove down, "Girl, I remember when you and him would play basketball at night."   Aynslee's eyes stretch, forgetting all about those days. Braydin and Aynslee would always be out talking until dark. Sometimes, Noelle and Tyson would come, but leave early due to Braydin and Aynslee's heavy and constant flirting and giggling. Late nights on the phone and always around each other during school.   "Yeah, but he went to college and that was that." Aynslee sighs putting the spoon down on the counter.   "So did you. You and I are the only ones in the family to go to college and actually complete it." Luna informs Aynslee; smiling. "So, he is back in town, what are you going to do about that?" Luna says waving the spatula at Aynslee hoping that her older sister would make the right choice.   "I don't know to be honest with you." Aynslee admits, thinking about the info that Tk gave her before he left for his meeting.   "Psh," Luna scoffs. "Better do something before someone else gets him. Like one of these young, little hood rat, fast ass girls running around here in short shorts and tight shirts. I mean...I know from what you told me he wasn't really much. You know." Aynslee nods remembering "but, he had a little something going on for himself to get out of the hood."   Aynslee laughs, "Yeah, he did." And Aynslee used to be crazy about Tk. The same with himself being crazy about Aynslee. "He gave me his information."   She digs in her pocket and pulls out the sheet of paper; handing it to Luna. Luna looks over the paper and nods, "So, am I dining by myself tonight?" She gives the paper back. Aynslee takes it and looks over the information as well.   "No, I wouldn't do that to you." Aynslee says.   Luna scoffs, "I wouldn't mind, to be honest. I mean...I am going to be staying with you for a while. Just because I am here does not mean you have to put your life on hold."   Aynslee nods hearing what her sister is saying but she just didn't feel right leaving her here alone. "I know but..." She tries to protest.   "No, I will even help you find something to wear." Luna offers.   Aynslee smiles then starts laughing at Luna's pressure for her to get out of the house and date or set up a date with Tk. Aynslee sighs and leans against the counter, folding her arms across her chest, seriously considering her sister's offer. However, Aynslee didn't want to leave her sister alone while pregnant and soon to deliver. Luna sees Aynslee, hesitant, "If you are worried about me having the baby early, then don't be worried. The doctor said that he should be here after Makio gets back. So nothing to really worry about."   Aynslee nods still worried but on her sister's word, she nods, "Alright."   Luna claps her hands, "Awesome. I unpacked some of your clothes already and you need to do some major shopping because you have too much black and red."   "No," Aynslee swats at Luna playfully. "I have some pinks, blues, and other colors as well."   "Oh," Luna goes on to stir the rice and put seasoning along with butter in the rice. "Great. That must have been the wrong box. Now, you need to go and shower and have your hair straighten."   Aynslee runs her fingers through her thick tightly curly hair, "But, I like my hair like this."   Luna sighs in playful frustration, "Fine, fine. But, shower and I will find something for you to wear."   "But, I don't even know when his meeting is over." Aynslee giggles.   "Meh, I see. Oh well." She goes back to look over her pots of food. "Besides that, have you gotten a call from Tyson yet?"   "Ugh," Aynslee roars, "Yes, yesterday. Asking me why was I moving out and that he is scared for my safety. Also, that he was only trying to protect me." She says trying to remember the voicemail he left her.   "Protect you from what?"   "Hell if I know." Aynslee shrugs. 11   Aynslee Present Aynslee didn't know what to say about her sister's pregnancy, but she really is truly happy that her sister had found someone that she can really trust and start a family with. A warm hand grazes her hand, Aynslee looks up to see Luna touching her hand and handing her a napkin. She takes the napkin, Luna signals to wipe her face. Aynslee dabs her face and looks at the napkin, small tear drops were on it. She hadn't even noticed that she is crying, smiling she dabs her eyes again and sniffles. "Sorry."   Luna frowns at her sister, "I know that both of your babies would have been at least 6 or 7 years old. In the 2nd grade or 1st grade."   Aynslee had to pull herself together, she just had to. No real reason why. "Yeah, they would but there is no telling how many I've truly had." She jokes and Luna smiles along with her older sister.   After their light lunch, they walk down the strip and enter a thrift shop. There really weren’t very many people in the thrift shop, Aynslee looks around at the very tidy store. Most stores on the strip were unclean and full of dust; not this one. Bauhaus is what the store is called. Luna goes towards the baby things which is in the very back of the store and Aynslee moves to the business clothes located to the left of the shoes in the front of the store. She seriously needed a job and she knew that her old job of being a corporate receptionist probably wouldn't take her back after all the days Patrick made her miss. But, it is worth a try to see if they would. She picks up a few nice looking skirts and then remembers that Maryanne bought her clothes but not enough for a job or an interview. She grabs a loose buggy.   "Hey, that's my fuc-Aynslee?" A female says about to go off but when she sees who it is, she thinks twice.   Aynslee stares at the female and her own eyes widen in shock, "Noelle? Noelle Jellel?"   They hug each other and say their greetings to each other as well. Noelle says, "Wow, you look marvelous!" stepping back to look at Aynslee.   Aynslee looks at Noelle's beady, tired coffee colored eyes, baggy clothes, messed up straight neck- length weave, very narrow build, and dark chocolate skin tone.    "So do you." Noelle scoffs, "Psh, girl. No need to lie to me. I know I look a hot mess, but it's the life of mother hood."   Aynslee nods as a little boy runs up to Noelle holding a faded red fire truck that's missing a wheel. "My goodness." Aynslee looks down at the little boy. "Well, hello."   The little boy smiles and blushes a little. "Hey." Aynslee pinches his cheek, gently and he slyly scoots behind Noelle. Aynslee smiles, "He is so cute."   "Thank you. He will be...5 years old, next month and trying to do a cartoon themed party is running me raggedy." Noelle laughs. "What's going on with you?"   Aynslee answers. "Here with my sister; Luna." She nods over to the baby aisle. Noelle looks to where Aynslee nods to, "Oh, I see. Didn't know you had a sister." She turns to Aynslee, "What else is new?"   Aynslee sighs, "Finally, left that boyfriend of mine with a little help." Noelle shoes her son away to the toys. "Ugh, I am glad to hear that. No kids?"" Aynslee shakes her head, "Not yet, but I am looking for a job right now."   "Oh, I know that a company that deals with computers is hiring. It is called..." She snaps her fingers trying to remember the name of the company, "Oh yeah...Kaleidoscope Company because of all the different colors that the motherboard of some computers and laptops have. Hell, I don’t know."   Aynslee nods liking that idea, since computers and literature is what she majored in when she went to college. Patrick tried to get her to drop out and depend on him completely. But she was not having that. When she graduated in computer science and landed a job with a big corporation as a receptionist/computer tech, she would often make more than he did. Which really caused a huge fight within the household.     "What’s the company's address?" Aynslee asks. Noelle shrugs her bony shoulders, "I know that it's off the interstate slight right." She uses her hands to direct herself on how to get their so that she can make sure she is telling Aynslee the right thing. "It should be on the left 5 miles from the old Burger King. If you can remember all of that." She titters.   Aynslee nods hoping that she could; because her memory has been a little foggy since that day. Luna comes up to Aynslee and Noelle. "Hello, I am Luna. Aynslee's sister." Luna introduces herself. "Noelle. I and Aynslee were best friends back in high school." Noelle informs. Luna nods and says, "She told me about all the trouble you two would get into." Luna teases causing Aynslee to gasp and Noelle to smirk and roll her eyes. Luna turns to Aynslee telling her, "They didn't have the car seat I wanted so they said they'd order it for me."   Aynslee did not know that thrift stores could order anything. Luna looks at the skirts in Aynslee's hands, "Paying for those?" Aynslee nods, "Yeah. Mind doing it for me?" She hands Luna the clothes and a Platinum card from her back pocket as Luna nods. Luna takes the card, "Tyson Reese? Yall re-connected after a few years now?" Luna teases as she arches her brow on a more serious note. Aynslee giggles, "Something like that." Luna purses her lips together and goes to the counter to pay for the skirts and shirts. Aynslee turns back to Noelle whose face has suddenly dropped, "What's wrong, Noelle?" Aynslee asks concerned. "Huh? Oh, nothing. I have got to get out of here, really. Got a lot of things to do for this boy’s party. Son?" Confused, Aynslee nods while her son comes running and grabs his mother's hand and they leave the shop; abruptly. Publication Date: May 15th 2016 https://www.bookrix.com/-be2c4eacad6a275

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-neshiap-what-039-s-with-all-the-drama/

Neshiap What's with all the Drama Crazy life of a all around Teenager I dedicate this book to everyone who has went through this. Crazy life Today, for me was a very bad day. I never thought my life could get this worse. I never thought that this much drama could take place in one school. In my life. This was not good. Not good at all. This is what happened: I was leaving first period to go to my next class when Keyone walked up to me, handed me a folded up piece of paper, and walked off. After I received the paper I decided that I would wait until I made it to my next period class to read it. So I slipped it into my hello kitty backpack and walk along to my next class. When I got to my next period class, which was art and poetry class I slid into my desk and looked inside my bag to retrieve the note. As I pulled the note out I unfolded it and began to read. It read: Dear Kaitlin, This have been on my mind for awhile now and I couldn’t ask you this because i was currently in a relationship with Lanisha , as you know, but Nisha and I are way over so I feel that I can ask you now. Well Kaitlin I have been feelinq you for a long time, I couldn’t tell you because I was with someone. I tried very hard to try and end the whole thing between us but she wouldn’t let me. But this past weekend she gave me a reason to end it with her. I caught her fooling around with chase. Even though I wasn’t hurt I played it off and told her that we was over and that she bet not even think about calling or texting my damn phone again. I know you probably don’t wana hear this bull but wht I’m trying to ask you is that if you don’t mind can we maybe chill some times?? Plz reply shawdii! After I read this a smile kind of came across my face and I wrote back. I wrote this: Uhh I’m impressed by your explanation and I would love to chill wiff you jus tell me when and where! I folded the letter back up and stuck it back in my bag. I thought about this the hwole time that I was in second period. When the bell rang I hurried out the door with the rest of the students ithat wee happy to get out of this class. Not only was the teacher boring but the whole scenery of the classroom was lame, bland, and dull. As soon as I got out of the door and started piece way down the hall I met up face to face with Keyone. Well actually I literally ran into him and almost fell but that’s another story. Anyway after he sort of caught me I stood up straight and said “hey Keyone wats up”. Keyone replied by saying :” naww don’t hey me and try to play like you just didn’t almost fall kuz shawddi if I wasn’t paying attention you would have hit your face on that floor. “ahahaha, very funni with your tall ass”. “ian that tall lil guh you just short as hell that’s all that is. “whateva but hea”. As I said this I handed Keyone the note and began to walk off but he pulled me back by the hood of my Coogi jacket. He pulled me a lil closer than I expected and whispered in my ear: “ I don’t feel like reading all this so jus tell me the answer now”! “yes, the answer is yes, I stated as I pulled away from him and gave him a slight smile. “ightt catch you lata then shawddi,” he said as he proceeded to his next class. The other classes seemed to fly by or atleast they did to me because I was focused on Keyone during that time. So I got to my next class period, which was gym and I quickly realized that Keyone was taking that class with me. I smiled to my self and began to walk in. What I didn’t know was that Lanisha also took that class with me, but I thought nun of it. So I walked on into the gym and I was quickly greeted by Keyone and his warm smile. He surprisingly gave me a hug and draped his long muscular arm around me as we approached a couple of his friends. I didn’t notice the evil look on Nisha’s face at first but after a few minutes of doing it I noticed it but ian care I just keep smiling away with Keyone an dthe rest of the football team. His homeboys kept complimenting me and making lil comments like “ Damn Keyone she looks betta then nisha and she’s thicker.” Keyone looked at me then looked back at his home boys and said “ naaa me nd Kaitlin just friends for now not trying to push things of take shit to fast, we jus chillin for rite na, Ain’t that bout rite shawtti?” “yea that’s about rite tall ass” everybody started laughing when I said this. After a few more minutes of talkin to Keyone and his home boys Keyone decided that he wanted to jus have sum quality time with me so he led me into the bleachers and we just sat there talking and laughing. When I paid attention Nisha was still staring me down so I turned keyone’s face towards me and said “ look I know you might still got feeling sfor her or whatever but if she keep mugging me we gone have some problems and that’s a promise”. Keyone laughed aloud then said,” aye aye aye….yo lil cockii ass ain’t got shit to worry bout. Me and Nisha over so don’t let thet get to you, um feeling you not her soo let her stare, shhh letta stare until she cant stare nomo. As long as she ain’t physical then boo you should be good”. “ boo?? Who said you could call me boo? Who gave you that kind of right?” “ well damn aite don’t worry bout me calling you boo nomo cause I square you jus blew up on me for like no apparent reason. Ion know whats troubling you but shawddi you really need to fix that kuz ion feel like arguing especially with you”. “ what’s that suppose to mean”, I asked. “ nun um just saying doe…rite na you the only female I want to be with and her lookin at you don’t mean nun soo jus be like fuck her and go on with your day, and plus you suppose to be putting all your attention on me.” “ ahahah okae I got you and I sowwi for going off, I just don’t like ha looking at me funni. “ don’t worry bout it boo” “ okae I replied”. Just as he said this the bell rang and he took my hand and led me down the bleachers and onto the floor. We were still holding hands when Nisha came running up and cut right in the middle of us and turned to Keyone and started talking. Before I knew it I grabbed her hair and slung her on the floor. Keyone grabbed me and picked me up before I could hit her in her face. All I remember is Keyone carrying me to the office and looking at me in the eyes and saying “ boo you gota learn to control yourself….you jus almost killed thet guh”. And what if I did shit..what you protecting her cause she you ex.?” “ no I’m just saying doe you need to calm yo fucking nerves before you temper get you fucked up and by the way you keep bringing up me nd Nisha formal relationship I have made up my mind that I just wanna be friends with you cause I na been tryna get with you for two hours and we already arguing about my past. Damn look at your past I me Vonte was cheating on you, And you was cheating so damn yo [past aint that perfect so fuk it and if you don’t wana be friends then let it be that way.” After letting me get any words out Keyone walked out and slammed the door. By time I finished receiving my punishment it was time to go home so I walked out of the office and into the crowded hallways. Keyone was standing at his locker looking like he had been thinking about what happened all day. I slowly approached him and said, “hey” “hey”, he said back. Aye Keyone text me when you get home kuz we really need to talk. “ ohh so now you wana talk,,,well look if we gone text then you betta straighten thet fuckin attitude up. Kuz I can’t fukin take it right now. Um getting ova a damn break up ad um actually feeling like I cared about her and you wana act a ass with me…I can’t take that attitude I just fucking can’t Kaitlin!! “ okae I fucking get you ight ian gone blow up nomo”, I said starting to cry “just text me kuz I gotta tell you sum.” “before he could try to stop me from crying I ran off and got in the car where my mama asked what was wrong with me. “nun”,I replied just take me home please.” When I got home I just ran up to my room closed my door and started crying. Afew minutes later I got a text that started this conversion: Keyone: hey Me: uhh hey Keyone: what you had to tell me? Me: well wen you was going off on me I noticed that you said that you might have realized that you wcared bout Lanisha a lot. Nd well it kind of hurt me and I thought that that was why you got mad when I hit her. So uma back off from the whole thing between yall so bye….ion even wana talk nomo….plz dnt make it harder and text back…jus leave me alone please!! Keyone: Kaitlin please don’t do this, you should understand that it gone take a few days to get ova the whole relationship…look please don’t do this nd I promise you betta text back gur. Me: see thea you go with all that dam threating, and plus you said we should just friends cause I have a bhad attitude. Keyone: boo Keyone: I said boo Keyone: Kaitilin chill out and text me back rite now Keyone: gur stop fukin playing and text me back Keyone: well guess what you gotta come to skool toma so uma see you then nd we can talk. Keyone: nite Kait!!!!! <3 After ignoring all of these texts I just took a hot bath and cried myself to sleep. The next morning I woke up and decided that I couldn’t take looking at Keyone of Lanisha so I told my mom that I didn’t feel well and she let me stay home. I thought that I had escaped and got at least one day away from my personal problem when it came walking through my door. That evening after school my mama came up to my room and said, “ Kait you have a visitor and he brought your homework”. I was confused at first then I saw who it was and I started sweating. My mom must didn’t notice it cause she said, “well uma leave you two alone for a minute.” After that she left my room leaving me and Keyone there alone… He just looked at me a minute before saying “ Kait what the hell is going on with you?” “nun okae but why are you here, in my house, in my room?” “ kuz I wana know what the fuk is wrong with you I mean you just tryna stop fuking with me for no reason, I mean dam um jus getting out a relationship that I na been in for two years…so yea I still care about Nisha but shit didn’t I tell you how I felt bout you.” “look you feeling her so just fuck it aite I can’t take it okae” then I started crying and screaming and before my mom got a chance to run up to my room Keyone already had grabbed me and was just sitting on the floor with me holding me while I cried like a lil ass babie. When my mama got there she asked what was going on and Keyone jus told her that I was going through some personal problems. A few minutes after I finished crying I jus sat there still in Keyone’s arms but then he got a text and I read the name so I demanded he give me his phone.. he refused so I snatched it and went through it and saw where him and Nisha had been texting and they were talkin like they were back together. My eyes got watery again I just threw his phone to him and told him to get the fuck out my house. He left and I went to bed early again. They next morning I forced myself to go to school. My eyes were still red but I went. So when I got to school I walked in the cafeteria where I met up with Keyone so I just walked off and he tried his best to talk to me but I just ignored him. All my classes went slow and when I did get to gym I had to deal with Keyone trying to talk to me…I wasn’t hearing what he was talking about so I jus kept ignoring him then he started getting mad and cursing…I then got a text that said that my grandma had just died…. Right den my heart just skipped a beat and my eyes got watery…. I felt sick…like I had to throwup….i put my hands over my mouth and ran to the restroom…leaving my phone and all behind. I guess Keyone read the message kuz when I got back…eyes bloodshot red. He just looked at me for awhile then he said “ Kait…Kaitlin” I did’nt say anything but when I did I stopped breathing…I couldn’t breath… Keyone must figured that out too kuz he rushed me to the nurse where she put me on the oxygen machine. She then sent me to the emergency room. Where Me and Keyone sat there until my mom came there…she was already crying and I was too..i felt like I couldn’t take nomore….i just wanted to go away…away from everyone…everything. My grandma was dead what would I do without her here?? Me and mi mom went home and I went up to my room where I laid across my bed and remembered the good times me and my grandma had had when she was here. Then I got a text from keyone it said this: Keyone: you have every reason to hate me…every reason to hate me. Every reason to not wana talk to me. And I understand that. But when I saw you cry and saw that message and saw that it hurt you so bad that you threwup and stopped breathing I saw that I had to stop what I was doing. I had to stop hurting you in so many ways. I know ur not in the mood rite now but I want you to know that you and your family are in my prayers tonight…I hope you are alrite…. I hope your g-ma R.I.P Me: Keyone my mama is gone to do the arrangments and ion wana be here by myself… um scared kuz thoughts of killing myself have been going through my head….please just come and hurry I need somebody please!!!! Keyone arrived moments later and I just broke down in his arms…he laid on the couch with me and rocked me to sleep. While I was sleep I felt keyone tighten his embrace around my waist. I woke up and looked at him.. He just laid there looking in my eyes. I got up and sat on the other couch “ why you move Kait”? “ I can’t lay with you right now… I’m starting to care for you all over again and I …… I just can’t do that. You and Nisha are back together and ion wana mess that up… “ wait …. Wait Kait me and Nisha aren’t back together… I just couldn’t make up my mind but I finally did… don’t believe me then read all these texts.. I did and I found out that he actually had picked me…. He grabbed me and we laid there why I cried once more… He decided that I shouldn’t just stay in the house crying so he said “ aye lets go for a walk” I got up and we went out the door and started walking aroung the block as we talked… the convo went like this: Keyone: You okae. Looks like you got a lot on your mind. Me: yea I kinda do Keyone: well um here for you boo soo jus spill Me: well to began with my grandma died and you just won’t be good and go a day without makin me cry or mad! Keyone: awwh bae um sorry and I know it’s hard about your grandma but you have to be strong for your mother and you lil sister right??? Me: right…it’s just hard doe I mean me and my grandma was soo close Keyone: I understand that but you gotta be strong okae. Me: okae I understand Keyone: its Friday don’t you have something to do?? Me: you really gone ask me that….do you have something to do tonite or sum?? Keyone: naww Me: well if I ask my ma if you can stay over wud you Keyone: of course um here for you bae you know that!! Me: okae….bet thet up nd so now um ur bae?? Keyone: yea you are…I mean you have your moments sometimes, but you still my big babe Me: sooo uhhh not to be nosy or anything but how did you get over that “still being in love with Nisha thing?? Keyone: I found out how much I really liked you! After he said this I looked at him and he moved closer and kissed me…when he pulled away. I must admit, I was gone for a quick second. Uhhh ohh okae just had to make sure.. Keyone and I began to walk back towards my house when he said that he would be back later. He said that he had somethings to do. I went back in the house and up to my room where I laid across my bed and wrote in my diary. This is what I wrote: Dear diary, I haven’t been doing so good with the death of my grandmother and on top of that my new boyfriend has been tripping. I have spent most of the week crying,mad and stressing. But after Keyone told me how he really felt I began to feel better…he might be staying over tonight……I feel safer and better. After I finished writing in my diary I closed it and picked up my Samsung Galaxy S ll. I put in the password and saw that I had a text from my momma back and said that I could have Keyone stay with me because she wasn’t coming home that night and thet I needed to pick un my little sister, Ashonte, up from my aunt’s house. I text Keyone and told him and when he finally made it over we went to pick up Ashonte. Me and Keyone talked the whole way to my aunt’s house. We talked about different stuff. It was a great conversation. So when we got to my aunt’s house and picked up Ashonte we head back to my house so we could just chill. When we got back me and Keyone decided to invite out closest homeboy/homegirl over. So Keyone had Adrew come over and I invited Nichole, and we decided that we was gone try and hook them up while they was over. They both showed up at the same time so we invited them in and told them to have a seat. Nichole was up in her room so we decided to play truth or dare. When it was Andrew’s time Keyone dared him to tongue kiss Nichole. Nichole was the type of girl that didn’t like to admit that she likes someone until he asks her out so she was sayin hell no.. real loud…. So Andrew grabbed her wrists and held her down and stuck his tongue in her mouth.. to be mad and upset she sure didn’t try to fight him off that hard. But anyway when it was Keyone Turn Ashonte Dared him to give me a lap dance.. Keyone took my hand and led me to the empty chair on the other side of the room. I sat there while Andrew turned on some music and keyone began to grind all on me..then he opened my legs and continued to grind on me… at this point I just wanted to ughhhhh…..Andrew cut off the music a few moments later and Keyone got up and looked back at me with a half smile.. I just looked down at the floor, Smiling to myself. After that I went up to check on Nichole, she was sound asleep so I went back downstairs with Keyone them and we just finished having fun! When me and Keyone looked over at Ashonte and Andrew they were flirting… Then Ashonte did what she always do. She tried to play rough with Andrew but ended up making him mad. This is how it went. Andrew: Um surprise you actually talking to me kuz yhu usually give a nigga a hard time. Ashonte: Look dnt worry bout how I treat a nigga. U betta b glad I was treating yo ass sorta right. Andrew: look broad but u act like yhu doing me a favor by talking to me.. ahaha…shawtti I gets females like clock work so u betta b glad that im actually talking to your fucked ego having ass. Ashonte: look you know what… I hate males like you. Yall always saying some like yall can pull me.. guess what busta..you can’t pull me an dthats a fact Andrew: shhh I almost did so you can chill wit that stupid shyt. Ashonte: nigga dismiss yoselv Andrew: bitch dismiss yoselv kuz all I wanted to do was hit nd quit that anyway..trust boo yeen got that much I want! Ashonte: just…uhhhh.. After that Ahonte started crying and left out the room. Keyone started laughing…say, “DAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNN SHAWTTI U GOT PUT ON BLAST>>>>DAMMmmNNNNN!!!”, I shot him a dirty look and walked out behind her. Then when I started walking back to the living room I over heard Keyone and Andrew. Keyone was putting Andrew in his place. So when I walked in they shot up and Drew walked out in the direction of where Shonte was. When I walked over to Keyone I gave him a punch in the arm and a evil look and said, “why the fuck you gone start laughing when that girl started crying, I mean that boy really hurt her feelings.” And Keyone gone say, “aye ian tell her to let her fucked up attitude get in the way of her personal life, but what I know is that when Drew said that he just want to hit that and she aint got nun he want was funny as hell” “ that shit wasn’t funny Keyone and you need to sit down cause I don’t why I even talk to your ignorant ass” “ what the fuck you jumping down my throat for Kait I mean damn I thought this was America and that I had the right to freedom of speech and plus your damn mouth gets you in trouble too! “ I mean you can’t fucking tell me what to do so sit yo bossy ass down before I put you in your damn place lil pissy ass guh!.” Then I replied by saying,. “ you know what tonight is not the night for you damn temper. Fuck staying over here you can get your ass out I mean you don’t have to stay shit you really don’t. Then Keyone said, “ shit then let it be I mean ian gotta stay like you said, but shawddi I was doing yo stupid ass a favor you the one calling crying to me about your damn family problems. Shit I was doing good when you was supposingly mad at me.” “ I’ll leave you here by yo damn self.” I just looked at him for a few then I walked out like Ashonte had previously did but when I got in the door way Keyone grabbed me and push me up against the wall. I guess he had heard what I said before I turned around to exit. His eyes were all red and shit now like he had been smoking more than he usually did. Anyways he pushed me up against the wall and said, “what the fuck did you just say, did you just say fuck me and my family…wait….. wait hold up na bitch fuck you and your family. shit um over here trying to cheer you up bout a old dead ass woman that I didn’t even know.. fuck her, fuck yo stupid ass mama, and fuck that lil bitch upstairs. And most of all fuck you.” When he said this I got mad and push his off of me. But when I did he reacted by throwing me across the coffee table and then throwing me into the wall causing the family miral to fall. But luckily it was on the other end or I would have been over. I guess this made a lot of noise because Drew and Shonte ran in and Drew grabbed Keyone because he was fina hit me again. So Drew grabbed Keyone and pushed him in the other room and Shonte helped me up and over to the couch… That’s when I found out that not only was I bleeding a lot but that Nichole was looking at the whole thing. When I looked at her she still had tears rolling down her face as she ran back up to her room… “OMG!” I screamed as I saw her. When I tried to get up to try and talk, Keyone walked back in looking mad as hell. Andrew was right behind him. “ aye Shonte you gone stay here with Kait tonight..ian staying I gotta hold it down with mii bro. he in thet mode” “ okae boo”,Shonte said. So they walked out thet door and I went to clean myself up. When I got done I went to talk to Nichole. I hadn’t talked to Keyone since that night. So when I got to school the next day I went to my locker and he was at his. I tried not to look over but it was just something telling me to and as soon as I did he slammed his locker shut and walked pass me gave me that evil look and said “ boo bitch what you looking at”. I just shook my head and walked off too. I wasn’t suppose to be at school because I was still bruised pretty badly and well I had to cover the cuts with makeup and I had to do every thing slowly and carefully because if I tried to stay home I would have to explain to my mom why and that would just end in a disaster. Gym was very difficult I tried to run and exercise but I was just hurting to much so I just sat in the middle of the floor and cried. Lanisha was loving this because she was laughing but instead of Keyone laughing with her he just looked and shook his head. I thought that everything was going to be better once I got home but boy was I wrong. Turns out my little sister, Nichole can’t keep her big ass mouth shut. she went and told everything that went on that night. So when I got home my momma was mad and crying. After she finished cursing and hollering at me we went to the E.R. where I had some x-rays done and was prescribed some pain killers. The doctor said that by the way I was bruised up that I would have to spend atleast a week out of school since I didn’t come straight to the hospital. I was sort of happy because it was pure hell being around Keyone most of the day at school. When I got home my mamma told me to go and get some rest and that she was fina go out and make some more arrangements for Grandma funeral. When I got to myy room I laid across my bed and when I closed my eyes I pictured every thing that was said and everything that happened that night and my eyes just filled with tears and I started crying. Then my phone rang and it was from a weird number. But I answered anyways and it turned out to be Keyone. He was like aye I just called because Mrs. Jay wanted to know why you ain’t at school. Then I said “well you should have the answer to that” then Keyone said” ohh ightt but u aite right?” “ kinda I gotta b outta school for a week so can you tell erbody that please? “ a whole damn week?” “yea ightt just tell everyone that ian gne b there for a week” “ uhh okae and im sorry didn’t know I had did that much. “ yea, well you did so bye”. After that I straight hung up in his damn face! Ian wana hear Keyone’s voice or see his face. That’s what made me mad. He would do evil shit then try to call me and apologize for it well it wasn’t going to happen this time… it really wasn’t. I wanted him to know that too soo I called him back and was like: “aye um is this Keyone?” “yea this me…whats up kay?” “nun..but I just wanted to tell you that your lil routine of doing shit to hurt me and then apologizing ain’t gone work this time nigga. Cause um tired of it I really am…um done wit it and um done with you.” “where the hell all this stupid shit coming from kay..i tried to tell you that I was sorry” “well that mess ain’t going to work anymore. I mean my little sister saw the whole thing and she has been having nightmares about it every since. On top of that she thought she could solve that problem by talking to my mom. And when she did my mamma just went crazy, she’s already dealing with the death of her mamma and now she has to deal with the fact that she’s scared to send me to school because you want to abuse me. She’s even thinking about sending me to another fucking school. so yea I have to maybe leave my friends because you wanted to jump bad and throw me across a fucking glass coffee table. I thought that you wasn’t the type to hit a female. I thought you actually understood the fact that you was ALPHA MALE….that yea you were stronger then me and that you could put me in my place. But turns out you just a coward you have to prove yourself by fucking hitting me… and I hope you’re happy because the doctor said that you hit me so damn hard in my stomach that it’s a slight chance that you’ve messed up the chances of me having a damn child…but it’s all good probably wasn’t going to be by your unfaithful ass anyway. and I know that you and Nisha still talk on the down low and I really don’t give three fukks. As long as that bit----- When I was about to say the B word I heard a voice in the background…it was familiar. The voice said “bae who are you calling on my phone. Tell them that you’ll call them back lata cause I got sum to show yo lil light skinned ass”. At the point mi mouth just dropped.. I went off. ‘really hoe um sitting up here trying tell you what your ass na did wrong and telling you that I still know you mess round with this hoe. And you in her bedroom…well thet that tells it all….bye hoe have a nice day…I can’t even say nun else.” When I was hanging up I could hear him say “aye wait it’s not like that.” At this point I just feel weird…I can’t describe how I feel….i just laid in bed and looked at the ceiling for a couple of hours. Then I got a text. It was from keyone but the bitt texted me from his phone this time. Like that was any better. But it said this: Keyone: Kay please reply to this…you have to heard me out. Me: ite go for it. Talk! Keyone: well to be honest I’m speechless. I really don’t have anything to say. Me: ohh okae that’s what I thought. Well what you gone say??/ I’m sorry? Keyone: to be real no…cause I know I always say that and that I might not really mean it and that if I say it then I would be wasting my time cause you won’t believe me and I wouldn’t really mean what I said. Me: ohh okae then bye. Keyone: goodnight kay ME: wateva..tell yo bitch have a good night nd don’t kall me kay. KEyone: ok nite! After I got off the phone with his cheating ass I jus continued to lay there…not thinking about anything..not crying or not even mad. I was just sitting there in a daze. But then the tought of “How could all of this happen to me popped in my head”. It felt like when something bad happens to you it. All happens at one danq time.. I was so confused that I didn’t know what to do. I felt like I needed to get out and go for a walk. So I got up put on some short and a tanktop. And put my long black hair in a pony tail. When I walked out the door and headed down the block I put my ear phones in my ear. So when I got a good ways from my house I noticed a figure behind me….when I glanced back it was a person and they was following me…. I took my ear phones out my ear and began to pick up my pace. Then they began to walk a little faster too. Finally I started to run and they started to run… I ran as fast as I could but they caught me. When they did I began to scream but they covered my mouth… I bite their hand and the person said “ouchhhh gahhhdamn kay” that’s when I knew that the person that was following me was Keyone. When I realized this I got real heated and just started punching and hitting him, not caring where or what I might punch.. he grabbed me, picked me up and kind of wrestled me to the ground….”wait kait stop aite..stop jus calm down. I’ll let you go if you stop punching me and screaming.” So I stopped. “what do you want asshole”,I yelled. “I want you to talk to me, I want this whole thing to be over and I want you jus forgive me.” “what the hell, you expect me to talk to you, hear you out, and forgive you.?” “yea” “Key you told me that you didn’t give a damn about my dead grandmother, you told me that you didn’t give a damn about me, and you beat the shit out of me for a stupid ass reason” “ okae that I know but Kay I can’t take this anymore..it’s eating me up, I can’t sleep or anything. “ohhhh so you’re doing this dumb shit because guilt is eating you up.” “that and I miss you, I miss laying beside you, I miss talking on the phone with you and, well I miss us okae…and I would do anything right about now to get it all back, I’ll do anything right now to make it all better.” “ohh sooo you wana make it all better key…huh … is that what you want?” “yea…that’s what I want Kaitlin” “well uma tell you how you can make it better Keyone…” “how?” “go jump in front of a damn car and leave me alone cause we ain’t gone ever get back to the way we were dude…neva and I saw that when instead of trying to apologize and make it BETTER you go and lay up wit your ex Hoe!!” “ Kaitlin it wasn’t even like that okae…she found out who I was talking to and she said all that dumb shit…we were never back together, we didn’t fukk or anything. I was over there for advice about you.” “ohhh really, that’s why you were over there.” “yeah!!! That and because I’m frends with her bro. that’s how we hooked up when we was together. I promise on everything I love I wasn’t over there for any other purposes>” “well why you was on her phone?” “ kay that wasn’t even her damn phone. That was Jeremiah’s phone. Like I said when she found out I was calling you she started saying all that shit. And you wanna know why I used Jeremiah’s phone well it was because I knew you wasn’t going to answer if I called from my phone. See I really wanted to talked to you and I was willing to go to hell and back to do so. Soo that’s how I feel.” “ohh sooo you willing to go to hell and back to make it right…well looks like you gone have to do that literally before I even consider taking your lying ass back” “really Kait” “yes really Keyone”. After the lil boring ass convo I started to get up and when I did get up I looked at Keyone and he was crying..like literally had tears rolling down his face.. he looked up at me and said, “soo that’s it….we through?:” I said, “I guess so, I can’t take your ways and how you react to certain things…I just can’t” when I said that I began to walk off back towards the direction of my house, when he ran back up behind me and turned me towards him. “uma still love you though” “well let that be soo then, I wish I can say the same about you dude.:” I turned and walked off again, all the way back to my house where I ran upstairs and went up to my room to think! I stared at myself in the mirror…looking at my reflection, staring at how one event can change my life…I stood there, alone, puzzled, and confused. Until finally I started crying.. shaking, and wondering how in hell could a 15 year old child have so much drama in her life. This was just too much for me. I wanted to started out fresh. Beginning with a different school. I made it in my mind that after the next week of school was over that I was going to transfer to Collins High. Maybe my life would be better there. My week was kind of jammed packed with a lot of shit. I had practices. I had to study. I had to go shopping for the funeral, I had to attend the funeral,and on top of that I had to deal with Nichole’s nightmares, my mama tears, and Keyone stupid ass ways. I didn’t know if I could last that much longer, but I did. I made the best out of everything. I even handled the Lanish situation. See this is what happened: So I’m coming for Algebra l and heading to gym and Keyone meets me outside of the gym still trying to make me talk to him. I ignored him and went inside the gym and that’s When Nisha saw Keyone following up behind me so she walked over and said Damn Kaitlin you know you always got him behind you, you must have opened your legs for him or some ole nasty man stealing hoe. Keyoen saw the look in my eyes and saw that I had snapped but before he could grabb me I went over to where she had walked off to and grabbed that slut by her hair. I punched her in the face about five time before she blacked out, the when she did blank out I beat her head up against the floor until it started bleeding. Keyone ran over to where I was and pulled me off of her but I tried the best I could to get back over to where she was. I kicked and screamed so much that Keyone had to pinn me down to the gym floor. Then his homeboy Joshua came over and Keyone told him to hold me down until he call the ambulance and the principle and shit. I was still trying to get to her when everyone came. Finally, they came and put Nisha in the ambulance and all the polices left and stuff but my mom still had to come and fill out papers and stuff. But when Joshua finally let me go I stormed out of the gym and walked right up on Keyone. I was short compared to him so he looked down at me, I thought he was fina try to get back with me but he said “ your mama here and she mad as hell, well she not mad but she’s crying like crazy, she said that she can’t take all this mess with you anymore. I paused then looked back up at Keyone and said, “I know she can’t that’s why I’m transferring, maybe it’ll be better at Collins.” “ wait what the hell did you just say?” “isaid I’m transferring, I can’t take being here anymore.” After that I walked off towards the office where I met my mom and we left. Publication Date: February 27th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-neshiap

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-taylor-leighann-selena/

Taylor Leighann Selena (demo) Is she being stalked? Or is it a afair? Does Amberlynn really love her? Selena, a 21 young hispanic girl living on her own with a bunch of random drama in her life. Weird new next door neighbor, and a ex who always pops back up. Book not finished, just started. Wanted to post the beginning as a small demo. Let me know what you think in the comments!! would be much appreciated. :) Enjoy! What Selena’s body wakes up after seven hours of sleep. Laying on her bed comfortably, stretching, reaching her arms up, letting out a cute moan. Realizing she needs to pee, getting up still half asleep on her way to the bathroom. Sits on the cold toilet seat, with her eyes closed her cheek laying on her hand holding herself up, slowly waking up. Her long curly brown hair resting on her arms, her lashes laying on her cheeks. Suddenly she hears someone knocking on her door. Not in any rush Selena finishes flushing the toilet, but not washing her hands, they knock on the door again. “I’m coming, I’m coming” She says yawning afterwards. She peaks through the door hole. An average sized guy, black short hair, mixed, probably 23. Opening the door, “yes?” she says, “uh hey I’m your new next door neighbor, my names Fanuel.” Handing her some kind of pie. “oh cool, Selena, what’s this?”, she slightly awkwardly and takes the pie into her hands. He shrugs “Oh it’s just some pie my wife made me bring over. Its good though I promise.” Selena chuckles. “well thank you, I actually have to go, but thank you so much for this and tell your wife I said thank you, and nice to meet you!” she says in somewhat a hurry wanting to go lay back down. “Oh, it’s no problem and you to.” He winks at her then walks away. She closes the door and laughs a little “the fuck”. She puts the pie up and walks back to her room as though that awkward situation did not just happen. She sits on her bed, grabs her phone, just looking through it and checking her messages to see if she can find something to do today. “Fanuel Torres sent you a Friend Request.” She sees when she checks her fb, all though it was weird she thinks nothing of it and accepts it anyway. She messages her friends and seeing if anybody wants to go out while it’s her off day for work. Waiting on responses she takes a shower. Getting out wrapping her hair in a towel and her body, going to the kitchen to find a quick eat. Not seeing anything she wants, then remembers that pie her new next door neighbor have given her an hour or two ago. “mmm pecan pie, my favorite” she moaned as she took a bite out of it. Quick eat became two pieces of pie later, she finally went back to her room and put some comfortable clothes on, sitting on her bed checking her phone again. Two people leaving her on seen, Emily messaged back telling her to come pick her up. “hey.”-Fanuel Torres. “uh not thanks.” She says leaving him on seen. Throws her hair up, and slides some shoes on grabbing her things and driving to her friend’s house. Going back to her house to hang out, watches a couple of movies. “Dude I caaaannnt wait till this weekend!” Emily said enthusiastically. “Why hah” “I’m staying over josh’s house and I get to meet his daughter, I’m so excited. But like what if she doesn’t like me, what if she’s like, I don’t know. A freaking brat?” Selena laughs “Girl you’ll be fine, I promise, josh loves you, I bet she will to.” “Still scared though, but hey what about you. I know what you need, you need you a little side.” Emily says as she has her mouth full of food. “Oh whatever, but some really weird dude came over today, apparently, my new next-door neighbor? I don’t know but he added me on Facebook AND messaged me!” “Is He cute” Emily smiles looking at her waiting for her to answer “His married Emily” “So?” They laugh continuing the movies. Three or four hours later Emily calls it a night and goes home, Selena exhausted, passes out on the couch. The next morning Selena wakes up to her phone blowing up, 17 missed calls and 20 text messages Realizing she’s 30 minutes late for work, throwing on her clothes, and putting on her make up on her way there. Walking in the office, her boss slightly glared at her but not saying anything, she smiles and walks in her cubicle. Sitting in her rolling chair rolling her eyes. “asshole”. “I heard that” a guy standing behind her says smiling, she jumps and turns around and realizes it’s the guy from yesterday morning. “shit” Selena says holding her chest “you scared me “he chuckles “my bad”. “you work here?” she says trying to hide the fact that she’s kind of weirded out by it. “Oh no, my wife does, I bring her lunch before I go to work, I saw you yesterday here and thought I’d say hi, hope that’s not weird.” “Uhhh no, not at all, and she does? What cubical?” she asked curiously “Oh I’m not really educated on the whole cubical thing yet so I’m not sure yet hah, but I got to go to work, see you around Selena.” Winks at her and walks away. “Probably not.” She mumbled as she turned back around. She texts Emily about seeing Fanuel again and goes about her day. Later that night one of her ex comes over, Amberlynn. Short, Thin, Pale as a ghost, plush lips and light green eyes with black long silky hair that flows down her back perfectly. Pulls up wearing dark jeans and a long sleeve white crop top and cute dark grey sandals not wearing a bra so you can see her nipples pierce through her shirt. Hearing a knock at the door, Selena answers it seeing her ex trying not to look at her perfectly round breast. “What do you want Amb?” Not even looking in her direction. “You don’t go out no more, you don’t call, not even a fuck you so I know you’re alive?” “As if you care.” Selena rolling her eyes walking back into her house and sitting on the couch continuing to watch whatever show was on at that moment. Amberlynn signing, walking over behind the couch rubbing her hands down her arms. “Don’t say that, you know I care.” “Should’ve thought about that before you cheated on me.” Selena says not budging. Amberlynn leans over and goes to kiss Selena, she resists for a few seconds but gave in, kissing amberlynn back. Bringing back memories of their 5-year relationship, wanting to stop but can’t. Feeling her soft pink plush lips rub against hers reminded of her of when they were happy. While amberlynn climbs over the couch getting beside her, rubbing her fingers through Selena’s hair, Kissing getting more intense and deep, Selena gently caressing Amberlynn’s breast, lifting up her shirt, rubbing her nipples with her fingers. Amberlynn smiles “I miss this.”, “me too”, Selena says with slight heavy breathing. Selena starts kissing her breast, still rubbing her nipples. Amberlynn stops her, lifting her chin up with her finger. Selena looks at her for a second without saying anything, “Isn’t this what you want?” you could hear that she is somewhat hurt in her voice. “Of course, it Is what I want, but is it what you want?” hoping to hear her say yes, but she says nothing. “I guess I better go.” She signs. “If that is what you are wanting” Selena says not looking at her, knowing she does not want her to go. “Lay down” “excuse me?” Selena says looking at her weirdly. “Let me make up for what I did, let me make you happy again.” Selena looking at her, not knowing if she is being sincere or not. Not knowing if she actually loved her, or just wanted to make love to her. Then again amberlynn always has done this. When they were upset, sex, Hungry? Sex, Bored? Sex. Maybe she did love her, but just did not know how to show her emotions thoroughly. “or maybe I’m just overreacting or why does even any of this matter”, Selena thought to herself. Being in the vulnerable state that she was in, and lack of care, or was it too much care? Who cares. Selena laid down anyway, pulling amberlynn on top of her, wanting her but not wanting her at the same time. “good” Amberlynn says kissing down her stomach, sliding her pants off at the same time. ” I promise you won’t regret it” Kissing the inside of her thighs, nibbling at them. With her hands running up Selena’s shirt to her breast, caressing them. Kissing her on the outside of her panties, licking her. “You make me so wet” Selena says whispering in desire, not even caring at that moment if she leaves and never comes back like last time. Amberlynn smiling, kissing back up her body then her lips. Sitting on top of her pulling her shirt off, and her bra. Holding her hands above her head, kissing her neck. Both making quiet moans. Amberlynn starts sucking on her breast, using one hand holding her hands and the other slowly down her panties. Feeling how wet she is, rubbing a soft plump pink pussy. Rubbing her clit slowly, Selena breathing slightly heavily, moaning. Sliding her finger inside of her, then starts kissing her breast, her stomach, across her waist line. Kissing her thighs, then her pussy. Licking her clit, while fingering her. Selena leaning her head back, rubbing her breast. “God I love you” Amberlynn making her orgasm several times, licking her dry each time. Kisses in between, Selena constantly telling her “fuck me.”. After Cumming again and again, Selena sits up, holding her hand on Amberlynn’s cheek kissing her. “my turn” Selena says while nibbling on ear lobe, rubbing her thigh. Without hesitation, amberlynn lays down. “nonono” Selena says making that cute giggle that amberlynn loved. “what?” amberlynn said smiling but confused. “Sit on my face.”     Publication Date: February 16th 2017 https://www.bookrix.com/-zn2b3da2435a455

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sierra farmer Friendship Turns Bad to all my friends and family that help my out of my slumps and helped me go on through all the pain and drama The Beginning Of It All Have you ever felt alone like you did not have any friends and that you were the laughing stock? I have. I remember when I had no one to talk to. Then one day I met this boy named Barrett Romstone. He was nice and I became good friends with him and I found out he was also bullied. We started talking all the time. Then there were rumors that spread about us. First it was Sierra likes Barrett. Then it was Barrett likes Sierra. It continued for a while with different rumors and soon enough the rumor started that we were dating. That was hard because then the rumor became that we had sex. It was great for him, he got bullied less. It was horrible for me, it made me be bullied more and more. People always came up to me and said, “are you going out with Barrett.” Some people asked, “what did you do with Barrett in the hallway”. I kept on having to repeat that we never went out or did anything. It felt like no one was listening. People would not leave me alone. Over the weeks it got worse and worse. Barrett started getting mad too and began flipping out. He became more and more aggressive towards everyone who asked us if we were together. Then one day when we were outside, these two girls walked by and asked the same questions. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. He reached the blowing point, he was very angry. That day he yelled, “I don’t care if you are a girl I still will beat the crap out of you.” The situation was getting out of control. He was about to attack the two girls. I saw him and I got in front of him and held him down. They got away. Barrett said that he could have gotten away from me. He said: “You are not strong enough, girls are weak”. I said “if you could have gotten out, why didn't you?” He was just annoyed that I was stronger than him. That’s when I realized that he was very competitive with me. The rumors were still spreading. I could not stop them but I could minimize the affect that it had on me. I just stopped paying attention to them. They did not go away they just got worse. The worse they got the more I had to hold back and control myself because I didn’t want the rumor spreaders to see how they were affecting me. So that’s when one of the security guards, Ms.Thorne at my junior high heard one of the rumors. Apparently the rumor she heard was that Barrett had humped me at school. Of course that was not true. She came up to me and without even asking me if anything happened, angrily said that she didn’t think I should be friends with Barrett. At that time, I was mad because I thought she had no right to talk to me like that. She never asked me a question and just assumed she knew what was going on, and she wasn’t very nice about it. One day Barrett told me “hypothetically if I asked you out would you say yes”. That’s when I realized he liked me more than a friend. I said yes because I did not want to hurt his feelings but I just met him and was not ready for a relationship. After that very short conversation we never talked about it again. I was ok with that, I just wanted to friends.     The Twinz That’s when I met these two boys,- they were twins. Their names were Dennis and Eric. They were very nice and I started hanging out with them. We became a group. It was a cool group with Dennis, Eric, Barrett, and me. We joked and laughed about almost everything. We were very immature, we made everything negative. We were always making up new things about random topics. For a while we got along really well. I felt happier than I had in a long time. Then something changed. I felt like the twins treated me nice. The twins respected me. They stood up for me and pointed out how other people didn’t treat me well. Barrett always controlled me and made me do things. He made me feel bad about myself. He did that because the worse I felt the more I only spoke to him. He would tell me that I looked ugly. He told me that he was cuter than me. I realized that he was just saying that because he did not like how he looked. I did not realize how badly he treated me until the twins treated me so well and I saw that there was something other than what Barrett was doing. My mom and my family kept telling me that Barrett was not treating me well and that I should put a stop to it, but I couldn’t hear it from them at the time. Soon after the twins came into my life, I stopped doing everything Barrett told me. I did not hang out with him every minute of everyday. Barrett started to behave strangely. I didn’t understand it at the time. He started telling me that the twins were trying to split us up. He tried to get them out of my life. I did not budge. I did not stop being friends with the twins. Barrett got more and more jealous although I did not realize it was jealousy until much later. I learned how to ignore his mean comments. Finally I got tired of him saying bad things about the twins and asked the twins if they were trying to split me and Barrett up and of course they said no. Dennis is skinny and has glasses. He is a goody two shoes because he does nothing bad. His brother Eric is skinny but has some fat on his face. Eric is not scared to break rules. He is less of a goody two shoes but he still follows the rules a lot of the time. They both listened to me and respected me. They had a good sense of humor. They treated me the way I wanted to be treated. That is what I really liked about them. They were always there for me. We were pretty content except for Barrett. He seemed different and way too attached to me. He also seemed very agitated. It got worse as the weeks went by. It seemed to me that he was like a whole new person. Or maybe I was a whole new person and was seeing him for the first time.     The Change - Who Is This Person Barrett became violent towards me. I finally realized he was jealous of me and the twins hanging out. We were all a group so I was confused at why he was jealous of them. I could not understand that a person could be mean to someone he said he Iiked. I thought that it was stupid and that I should just ignore his violent ways. I got more and more mad at Barrett because of his actions that he continued to do after I asked him repeadedly to stop. He would keep on poking me and doing inappropriate things. I would get really mad at him and he did not seem to care. So I found myself wondering what happened to him and why was he acting like this. Things kept on getting more out of control. I felt less close to him and more close to the twins and realized Barrett’s faults more. He was mean to me and put me down. He would yell at me and try to control me, and tell me I had to do what he wanted. He acted like I could be controlled and that I was his slave. He actually thought that I would do anything he said. I could not believe the things that came out of his mouth. Everyday he said something that would surprise me. He infuriated me more than you could imagine. He thought I belonged to him and that I was his property. I started having outbursts and began yelling at Barrett and I had meltdowns. I did not like this new side of him at all and distanced myself from him as much as possible. At the same time that I was having problems with Barrett I had an English teacher who was pushing me hard. I felt like she was out to get me no matter what I did. One day I started to cry about all the stress when Barrett was there. It appeared like Barrett was trying to help me. I trusted him and then I regretted that I did. One day later we were having an argument and he provoked me. I started yelling back and getting emotional and he said sarcastically: “what, now are you going to cry”? I think that’s the meanest thing a person can do: use someone’s emotions against them. Every outburst I had was funny to the girls at the other table. Every time I started yelling at Barrett the girls at the other table started clapping. They were happy that I was standing up for myself. Even though it seemed they were supporting me I felt like they were egging me on to fight when I really didn’t want to. And it made Barrett even more mad that they were clapping for me. This situation continued for a while and at the end of the 7th grade I was ready to burst. Barrett and I were not even friends anymore. I started preparing for the worst to happen. For me the worst was a physical fight. That school week brought on 4 big arguments and an outburst. I honestly did not know how far he would take it and how much I could take. My fuse does not blow easy but I had no fuse left at that point; even little things set me off. Each argument was bigger and longer and made me more and more angry. In one of the big arguments he expected me to agree with everything he was saying. I do not want to be controlled by anyone. I told him he did not own my life. He of course denied that he was trying to control my life. I was getting really angry with him and it was getting to the point where I could not control myself. I remember the day, it was a Thursday that I had a break down. He said that I owed him something for always yelling at him. When he says you owe him something it means you have to do whatever he wants. I got pissed off. I said to him “just because I yell at you does not mean I owe you. You don’t deserve anything from me so no I do not owe you”. That day I knew that something was going to happen the next day. I knew we were going to have a fight. That Friday at lunch he repeatedly threw a water bottle at me. I took the bottle and threw it in the garbage. That’s when all this bad stuff started happening. That day he got his water bottle and came over to me and punched me in the face. That’s when we had a fight, a small one. I defended myself and punched him back. Soon after the fight started I decided to stop it. I never like hurting people so I stopped and walked away. That was the first fight we ever had but our battle had just begun.       The Battle Begins I wish I would have listened to Ms. Thorne, the security guard. It turned out she was right. I wish I had not given her that attitude when she told me not to hang out with Barrett. She would have stopped all the arguments we had and all the yelling I did. I would have apologized to her but I was so embarrassed. I couldn’t hear her when she first told me to stay away from him. My relationshisp with Ms. Thorne bothered me. I mean I respected her so much before that incident. Then when she did that I could barely look at her. Then the fight happened with Barrett and I felt bad for giving her an attitude. I think if she would have been a little nicer I might have listened to her. Or maybe I just had to go through it before I learned. My mother complained to the principal about Barrett punching me in the face. She insisted that the school do something. She persisted until the principal decided to suspend him. After that fight and the threatened suspension I hoped that it would be the end of the fighting. I also knew that it was the end of our friendship. I thought we could just not talk to each other. That did not work out. The same evening of the fight I got a call from an unknown number. I picked up the phone and it was the twins. Barrett had told them to choose between me and him. I was shocked. How could he ask them to choose? They told me if they had to choose they would choose me. I told them that I had no interest in making them choose. Barrett was trying to take away my friends. Then I knew that our fight would not be over for a while. Those last weeks of school were torture. Barrett and I were not talking and he was trying to take away my friends. I tried to make amends by trying to have a conversation with Barrett to fix the problem. It seemed like that was working or that’s what I thought. The next day I found out he was trying to be my friend so he did not have to get suspended. I was really mad at him for trying to escape his punishment for punching me. It ended there officially because he decided that if I was not going to let him get away with hitting me, that I was not his friend. Also the principal said we should stay away from each other, which was fine with me. I was fine not being friends with him. I just was not prepared for what it would mean. I was confused and angry. I thought about how he did not deserve to have me as a friend. I started writing songs; mean songs to express how I was feeling. I tried everything I could think of to get him to stop coming between me and my friends. I tried to make deals with him. One of the deals I made was that we both had separate days with the twins. Like I would have Monday and he would have Tuesday, I would have Wednesday etc. He refused, he wanted to have them all to himself. I did not agree of course but I was mad he would not make an agreement. So we argued the rest of the school year. I finally told the twins that if they were going to hang out with Barrett I could not be there. They said they understood and would not hang out with him if I was there. Then I went to Canada and missed school for a week. When I came back it was in the afternoon and I missed school that day. When school was out I went to hang out with the twins at their house, with my sister Jazmine. When we got there we saw Barrett. Then I called the twins and asked them what he was doing there. They said he came over their house, even though they told him not to. I was mad at Barrett but I pretended he was not there and went to hang out with the twins. As we were walking to the park Barrett saw 7 tall Black kids and said “run, run black kids”. I yelled at him, “don’t be racist, you don’t say that, you’re going to get us in trouble”. The 7 kids were already on their way back to us. They came up to us and asked angrily, “what did you say”? I remember being so scared and then Barrett got punched in the face. One of the kids started coming up to me and then my sister stepped in and cursed him out. I guess it would be important to let you know that Jazmine is Black. (Although I don’t understand why it should be important). Then they left and threw a bottle at Barrett on the way out. I was angry and scared because it could have turned out worse. Barrett was shocked and held his face while Jazmine asked him if he was ok. He said he was fine and he did not want to go home. Barrett then started cursing me out. He said, “you bitch, you caused me to get punched in the face”. At first I was confused. Was I to blame? I said, “what are you talking about? You are the one who insulted them because they were Black. He said “yah but you said that I was being racist and they came back”. No, I yelled, “they came back because you insulted them, you said that not me”. That’s when Jazmine stepped in and told him off. She said “I don’t care how hurt you are, you do not talk to my sister like that.” He said “I don’t care, you can’t do anything to me”. Jazmine told him “oh yes I can” and she would not stand down. Barrett wouldn’t stand down either. I just watched him say all the bad things he should not have said. After we left Jazmine told me that she had never seen me so angry before. I laughed and said I never wanted to show her that part of me. That’s when I got a call from my mom. My mom was really angry because she got a call from Mary, Barrett’s mom. I rushed home and told my mom everything that happened. That’s when she showed me the voicemail that she got from Mary. The message said that I was getting her son Barrett in trouble and following Barrett. She said that my mom should control me. When I heard that message I was so mad at Barrett’s mom. She pretended to be my friend and then when she talked to my mom, I was suddenly evil. She was so two faced. I remember wanting to just yell at her. I felt so betrayed. She was helping Barrett to keep me from hanging out with the twins. I was going to have to try to ignore her along with Barrett.         The Summer Vacation That summer for me was ok although it was a little boring. I was staying in different places because our kitchen was under construction and I’m asthmatic. So I could not see the twins because I wasn’t in the neighborhood. I was very sad about that and missed them a lot. August 11th 2012 was my birthday party. I invited the twins and they came over and met my whole family. During the party my sisters and I talked to the twins about Barrett. The twins said they hated hanging out with him because he was pushy mean and aggressive. We told them that if they hated hanging out with him they should not hang out with him. I also told them that Barrett was ruining our friendship. They agreed and said they would not hang out with him after the summer ended. My family is Jewish but not very religious. So because it was my thirteenth birthday, they decided to follow tradition and lifted me up in a chair and we all sang a Jewish song. I laughed while my little brother got scared and started to cry. I had so much fun that day. I never wanted it to end. Since I had a summer without any problems with Barett I thought all my problems with him were over. I was very wrong. One weekend I went upstate. When I was on my way back I got the surprise of my life. The twins texted me saying that Barrett and his mom had told their grandma that me and my mom were sluts. Then he told me that his grandma said that we couldn’t hang out anymore. That news hurt and shocked me. Thanks to Barrett I couldn’t hang out with my friends. I was so mad and ready to hurt him. He wouldn’t stop messing with my life. I had no idea he would take things so far to ruin my most important friendships . That was my official wake up call that summer was almost over and I would have to deal with him for the rest of the year. I hated what had become of our “friendship”. We were now enemies and we would never be friends again. I was so hurt when I thought that me and the twins might never be able to be friends again either. Not only that but yet again Barrett used my emotions and my deepest secrets against me. I had made the mistake of sharing with him that my mom is a single parent and that me and my brother have different fathers. Apparently this makes my mother a slut. Now I was planning ways get revenge on Barrett. I was scared about what he would do next and what I would have to deal with. On my way home from upstate it was the worst experience. I was nervous about the twins and my friendship. I was very antsy because of Barrett. I did not know what to think or say to the twins. I thought about all the horrible secrets I knew. I thought about all the hurtful things I could say. Then I thought, but I’m not Barrett. I will not stoop to his level. By spreading rumors and saying mean things about him I would basically be him. So revenge went through my mind I just did not act on it. Revenge was not my thing. I did not like the idea of hurting him. No matter how much someone hurts me I don’t want to hurt them back. It’s a curse at times caring so much about other people. My empathy can make me feel responsible for people’s problems. I could not help but wonder why me, why do I have to go through this? It was getting closer to school starting and I was scared about what would happen. I was getting very sad and I did not know how to stop feeling sad. I was about to walk into a disaster as soon as school started. I was able to avoid Barrett all summer but I couldn’t avoid him any longer. That’s what scared me the most. He had all summer to plan how to hurt me. I was just walking into his trap and he was going to torture me all school year. I had to sneak around with the twins because I was not allowed to hang out with them. I was upset about how they would always have to cancel on me because they could not tell their family that they were hanging out with me. So when we hung out I always had to go 2 blocks ahead of their house in order to meet them. I always had to go out of my way to keep this friendship going. I was annoyed that the twins still insisted on hanging out with Barrett even though he was ruining our friendship. Barrett was ruining everything. I worked hard to get away from being bullied, just to get bullied by my so called friend. I felt like running from all my problems. I thought transferring schools would be perfect. Then I remembered what is running going to solve? He would still be in the neighborhood. It wouldn’t solve anything to run away. It would make him think that he’s doing the right things to get rid of me. I refused to let him win. I had to change my mood before school so that I could survive my last year of junior high. I wanted my last year to be the best year of junior high. So I thought to myself this is a battle and it’s time to fight back. I thought I’m stronger, tougher, faster and if I work hard enough I would be able to win. I was going to go to school with a new look and new intentions. I was happy that I could hang out with the twins at school. At the same time I was scared that Barrett would start bothering me as soon as school started. The night before school, I got my clothes and supplies ready. I did not sleep that night, I was too busy thinking.     Goodbye Summer Hello Winter        The first day of school I started out being excited about seeing all my friends.  Everything seemed to be going fine.  I got all the teachers I loved, I enjoyed my classes and to top it off there was no homework that week.  It was great.         Then I went to lunch and that’s when I saw Barrett.  I was avoiding him and there he was.  He was talking to the twins and I was mad at the twins for hanging out with him. The first day I was there he threatened the twins.  Barrett said “why are you hanging out with Sierra, if you hang out with her I will tell your grandmother.”       I was pissed off. I told them “I don’t care, he is trying to ruin our friendship.  Stop letting him. You are hanging out with him even though you don’t like him.  He is controlling you and you’re letting him.”  They said “we don’t care what he says we were still going to hang out with you.”  I asked them “why did you tell me that Barrett threatened you, if you don’t care.”      They told me all the problems they had with Barrett but they wanted to still hang out with him.  When I told them they should stop hanging out with him if he is so annoying, they said “we are not hanging out he follows us”.  Then I watched them outside. When they were bored they started chasing him.  I didn’t get it; they don’t like him but they hang out with him. Then they always complained to me about their problems with him.      I was starting to not hang out with the twins because Barrett was always there.  Then I became very sad and felt like nothing was helping. Most of the time I felt like crying.  It was very hard, Wherever I was, I did not feel there.  I started avoiding everyone including my whole family.  I felt isolated in my own mind.  I stayed in my room all day and night.      I kept on thinking about what happened and me losing my friends.  I thought; “why me why me what did I do to him”.  I was not eating a lot and lost some weight.  I was also scared that I could not get out of my head and be happy.  My mom thought it was teenage hormones but I did not think so.      So I worked harder to get out of the mood and somehow I was able to make it better.  I really don’t understand how that happened but I started talking to my mom again and I did what I needed to do.  I still had a little sadness left but was better than before.  I laughed more and smiled and did more work.  Everyone started noticing the difference in me.       Even though my mom thinks everything is getting better it’s happening slowly.  Ever since 6th grade I feel like me and mom are getting less close.  I used to be able to talk to her easily but now I don’t even know how to tell her how I feel.  I don’t want to be distant it just happens.  I started writing poetry to release the pain I was feeling.        After all that I started skipping lunch so I could write this non-fiction story.  There were days where I could not write and stayed in the main office and talked to my favorite teachers.  I loved doing this, they would make funny jokes.  Sometimes the office would get really packed.  Sometimes I would help them.       This happened for a while and I enjoyed it.  Then one of the security guards caught me with my phone out in the main office.  He took it away and locked it up.  Then I had to go talk to him to see if I could get my phone back.  So I when I went to go talk to him I saw him next to Ms. Thorn the security guard who I wanted to apologize to.      He was apparently mad at me for multiple things.  The security guard started talking about how I never went to lunch any more.  I told him I didn’t want to, I was avoiding someone.  He of course asked me who and why.  I did not tell him because I was right in front of Ms. Thorn.      The security guard guessed a couple names until he got to Barrett.  He realized from the way I looked that that was the person I was avoiding.  I had to explain why in front of Ms.Thorn.  I got emotional and started crying.  Then Ms.Thorn said “well everyone told you not to hang out with him”. She said those words that I hated to hear. “It was all your fault”.  I remember that just playing over and over in my head.      I wanted to scream at her. I was ready to just yell at her and threaten her.  Yes I wanted to threaten her. I wanted to say I can go to the principal and tell him how last year you took me by the hood and pulled me into the other room to stop me from hanging with Barrett all because of a rumor she heard. But I did not say  anything. I stopped myself.      The other security guard finally gave me my cell phone back and told me to go to class. So I walked up the stairs and I tried to calm my nerves.  When I got to class I was calm enough.  Then the next day in class he came and took me out and said “ you have to go to lunch tomorrow and I am worried about you. Do you want to see (assistant principal) Ms. Salga?   I told him  “I am fine I don’t have to see her”.      I was thinking about how quick feelings change.  When it came to Ms. Thorn my feelings went back and forth.  First I liked her then she was rude and mean to me and I did not like her.  Then I realized my responsibility in that situation and decided to forgive her.  Then yet again she was rude and I disliked her again. End Of All The Drama My first day of lunch went well at first. I thought maybe that because I had been gone for so long, things calmed down. When I went outside I realized nothing changed. Then yet again what I was running from found me. I was mad because I felt like I could never escape. I had to face the situation with Barrett like I face all my fears. The question is how. How do I face it, what do I do? How do I get him to stop? Yet again I was stuck thinking about what to do. I felt like my brain was not working. However I stopped running from him. That was nice. I just had a hard time because I still did not have my friends. They didn’t seem to get what I went through to keep them as friends. I had to try to keep contact with them. They never seemed to actually try to keep in contact to me. I felt like we were not really even friends anymore. So I finally told them that if they wanted to still be friends they had to work for it. I told them I was done working to keep the friendship intact, it was their turn. Then they asked me a stupid question “are we still friends”? I told them flat out “it’s up to you because I can’t work for something I know I can’t achieve”. They expected me to do everything. I had to tell them “I did my part it’s time for you to do your part”. Things like this don’t just go away, I thought. Will our friendship ever be the same? I have not ever dealt with something like this. I mean I was losing my friends to a person who was very mean. Then on top of all that I had to deal with that security guard, Ms.Thorn. Ms.Thorn had been rude and disrespectful. Every time I passed her she would give me a dirty look. I was starting to get really tired of her. She was kind of blaming me for being a teenager. I needed to learn the lessons of this friendship with Barrett on my own. All these problems developed because I could not let go of the only friend I had at the time. He was the only one who cared. He was a good friend but no one could see that. People blamed me for being friends with the only person that was nice to me. I mean yeah he was different but he was nice to me. Then I saw what I couldn't see originally and that made me realize who he really was. At some point Barrett finally stopped. He did not forget about me he simply stopped. There was no more drama. I came to realize that after about three months of him not bothering me. I was happy about it. I always knew that at any moment he could start again. I also knew that I had to be happy with whatever break from drama I had. The End Of The Drama Or So I Thought A couple months after I pronounced end of drama something happened. One day I was going in the computer room and barrett was there. He saw me and pushed me out and tried to slam the door in my face. Then I pushed him back and got into the room. Then he saw my face and he knew it was time to leave. I was shocked again, again he decided to start why. Oh my god I am so tired of this. I could not seem to find anything to stop him. So I left the school after it ended. I had to call my mom to see what I should do. She told me to go right back into the school. She wanted me to tell the assistant principal. So I went in and could not find the assistant principal. Instead I found the 6th grade dean. Then I decided to talk to her instead. I told her exactly what happened. Than she seemed to think that I was looking for him. I was not looking for trouble I was looking for the teacher. So she finally said she will tell the assistant principal on monday. Then I left the school and went home to tell my mom what happened. Monday came around I had to talk to the assistant principal. She told me she would look into it. So I left the room and went to class. An hour or two later I had to go back to her room. She told me that Barrett had said he didn't do anything. Like he always never did anything. Then Barrett came in the room. Barrett looked really angry. The assistant principal said Sierra tell Barrett what he did. I was thinking not again you did this the first time. It does not work making us talk does not help. He was always going to say he did not do it so why ask him. I thought it did not make sense at all. We were both mad. I was mad because he never gets in trouble for what he does. He was mad that I told the assistant principal what happened. I was confused and hoping that it would just end. Then he decided to be rude and mean for the rest of the day. So I avoided him the whole time. After a week or two everything stopped. He stopped being mean and rude. I will never really know if he truly is done but I have 2 more months of being in this school. So I will last and will get through no matter what. I will say that school will always be tough and all you can do is push through it. School gives me headaches stress and is just not fun. In the end it will work out for the best. So I work hard everyday to try to keep my head held high even on bad days. The best way for me to not be sad is to always think about the good things in bad situations. Only If This Was True  Then one day I found out Barrett went missing. He was out of school for a week. His parents thought it was me that I did something. I was a suspect of something I did not do. I could not help to think what really did happen to him.So I decided to go on an adventure to learn what truly happened. I became interested and so did the twins. They came with me to see what happened. It was a mystery to us all. Mary thought that me and the twins were working together to hide a body.We started solving the mystery when we saw something shocking. We found a map to this old abandoned house in the middle of nowhere. Ok so it was not that shocking. We went to the house to see what we would find. What we found was someone we were not expecting at all.We found an alien. It was purple and like nine feet tall maybe even taller. We were so scared but at the same time I was happy. Why was I happy you must wonder? I was happy because Barrett was out of my life. Let me correct myself the old Barrett was out of my life. The old him would never come back. He was still alive but he had some sort of chip in his back. I found myself laughing while I was running for dear life.When we finally escaped and got into a safe area I did something crazy. I used a voice changer and I called Mary and I told her, without laughing if you ever want to see your son go to the old house on Moonrock Street. When I hanged up the phone the twins and I started laughing. We were happy to get rid of these two problematic people and be able to replace them with nicer people. Then we decided we should probably tell someone about our discovery.We called the special services that dealt with weird events that had to do with aliens. We told them what we saw, they told us call us when we have more proof. We hung up the phone and we went back to the house to get proof. When we got there we took a video of the aliens and then ran. Then we called the special services again and told them that we had a video of the aliens. Then we sent the video to them. They made sure it was not a fake and then asked us what the address was. We asked them what’s in it for us. They said that if it’s true then we will give you a cash prize for saving everyone from aliens.We finally agreed and told them where it was. We met them there and showed them. They had these weird guns; it did not even look like it was meant to kill them. We watched them as they walked in a started shooting at them. Then they took the aliens out and searched the place and found Mary and Barrett cleaning the place. They then gave me and the twins one million dollars to split. We then quit school and bought a house on Hawaii and lived a happy life together. So Barrett and his mom were changed people. They were nicer and respected me and the twins. They also thought that me and the twins saved them. They never bothered us again. It was the end of all the drama and all my troubles.Oh wait that’s too good to be true. That’s just a dream I have had for so long. I just felt like sharing. That is such wishful thinking. Hey a girl can dream can’t she? So that’s the end of that wonderful dream and an end to how my friendship turned bad.  After Note Everything I said in this short story is true. This all happened to me. The only thing that changed is the names. I have always been bullied. This time was just the worst. The feeling of having someone you thought was your friend take advantage of you, is not something easy to go through. Bullying is not easy and that is why I write about it. I write about it to help myself and others understand how I am feeling and to release those emotions. And maybe someone else can relate to and be helped by my story. But all in all things do get better. I graduated went to a wonderful high school. In that high school i met my best friend. She changed me for the better. She showed me that some people and some friendships can be truly amazing. So when you think that things can never get better push through a little farther. Things do change. I got too close to trying something i would regret. But instead i let all the small good things that would happen help me get through the year. Because of that i am now a very happy sophomore going to urban academy.  Text: Sierra Farmer Editing: Esther Farmer All rights reserved. Publication Date: February 14th 2015 https://www.bookrix.com/-ilovebooks100

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-janeya-holley-stay-away/

Janeya Holley Stay away Chapter 1: Getting to know him   Why am I so stupid? I felt like crap i came to school with shorts on my hair in a messy  half up-down  and my sweater that said "train wreck over here!" on it.I see Brad ,and he sees me, he walks toward me. "Well you look exactly what your shirt says." Brad said smiling down on me. " You can say that again...I couldn't sleep last night." I said leaning against my locker. I felt sick to my stomache like I'd been kicked 100 times.   " Shouldn't you be with you're lover, your soulmate." he says smiling at me. "No!" I snapped. " He's nothing to me!" I look down and imagine last night and my stomache felt sick. "Well, someone had a bad break-up..." He says raising his eyebrows. "Yeah..." The bell rings and I sigh." Walk me to class?" As we walk down the hallway I  see Micheal and my heart drops to my stomache. Regretting it I walk down the hall . Micheal looks at me with a smile and starts to walk towards me.  "Can I talk to you,real quick love?" He says pulling me to the side before I answer. "What do you want? I have to get to class.." I say about to walk away. Then I feel and hand on my wristy pulling me  back. "Are you trying to make me look bad?huh?" He says angrily. " Don't have time for this I'm going to be late" I snap back at him and I start to walk away. "You can't ignore me! I wont let you!"He says as I walk down the hallway towards my class. "Leave me alone ...it's over" I walk over to Brad and he walks me to class. After two periods of class i realized that Michael was my chemistry partner,I walk into the classroom, and I walk over to Brad. " Can I sit here?" "Sure..." -I sit down next to him and I sigh-"He loves you , he thinks you're the perfect girl.." "He has a weird way of showing it." I whisper to him. " And I believe him, a beautiful girl like you"He brushes a piece of hair behind my ear with his fingers. "Brad , Allison likes you." I say movng his hand. "Elsa, come on we all know that me and Allison aren't a perfect fit but me and you; we're perfect" I felt his hand drop to my knee and felt it slide up slowly. I see Michael staring at us and instantly pull Brads hand away then I move away into a seat across the room. I see the fury in his eyes and I get very scared and I start to shrink.  After school I think about Michael ; Does he hate me? , I thought as I cut through a parking lot that leads to the back of my house. When I get home I see him sitting on my back porch and I suddenly freeze. I stare at him before I start to walk ,but he doesnt look angry which scares me even more. You never know what he is thinking which makes you even more cautious then ever. " what are you doing here?" I ask as I walk toward the steps. "I saw you in class today, and I know you saw me. Are you trying to embarass me?" He says every calmly not looking me in the eye. He stands up and I back up as he comes down the steps." What do you think people are saying when they see you with another guy when you're with me,silly?" " I told you its over we are not together anymore, and I'm not with you." Publication Date: May 14th 2014 https://www.bookrix.com/-jlove24

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-shabraye-039-walker-main-chick-n-a-mistress/

Shabraye&#39; Walker Main Chick N a Mistress to my boo Xavier, thx 4 always being there. Publication Date: October 29th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-prettiibraye

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-briana-pass-my-aunt-ruthy/

Briana Pass My Aunt Ruthy Uncle Mason Was A Monster My Aunt Ruthy Tale is Dedicated to any one who feels alone and trapped in a bad situation and can't get out! BUT PLEASE DO NOT GO KILL ANY ONE ON NO CIRCUMSTANCES! PLEASE CALL 911 FOR HELP NO MATTER WHAT! Thank-you all for reading. My Aunt Ruthy     Dear Reader,   My Aunt Ruthy is a bitch and a heartless snake. All she cared about was her well-being and collecting checks from the government for taking us in. She didn't care about Uncle Mason having his "me time" with me and my baby sister before we went to sleep at night. You wanna know what "me time" is? Well thats the term Uncle Mason tells Ruthy before he comes in my room at night, bends me over and fuck me from behind. He usually lets my 12 year old sister give him the blow job. I never liked doing the blow job. Any who let me introduce my self. My name is Trisha Bell and I'm 16 by the way . I stand 5'1, brownskin, with a chubby firgure. Put it this way I am big and beautiful. My baby sister name is Tia Bell. Our parents died in a car crash 5 years ago leaving me and Tia alone in this cold world. We wanted to be up for adoption but some how the court ruled that we would be turned over to live with my Aunt Ruthy and her dirty husband. Then again we was happy at first just because we never wanted to be lost in the system. Now come along with me while I tell you how I murder my Uncle and get me and my sister far away from the West Side of Inglewood, California.     My Aunt Ruthy – Short Story     It's December 16, 1995 almost the end of the first semester. I was a sophomore at Inglewood high school off of Grevillea Ave. Some of the members from the Crenshaw Mafia went there too! Me and Tia had a plan this year that tonight was the night to kill Uncle Mason. We figured we'd let my Aunt Ruthy live only because she was invited by Mason's left and right hook damn there everyday. I was on my way to meet up with my bestfriend Cecilia on the side of the school where mostly all the popular kids kicked it at before class. Cecilia is Puerto Rican, 5’3 with long black hair and dark brown eyes. All the boys wanted my girl Cecilia because she was pretty. Dudes only wanted me cause I had a fat-ass so I paid them no attention. It was hard to date and act like a normal teenager when all I could think about was how Uncle Mason touches me and my younger sister. So giving any guy attention is the last thing on my list!   My bestfriend is my ride or die she was in on the whole plan. Plus she felt me and my sister’s pain. She always told me how disgusting my Uncle was and that if it was her in my shoes she would kill him too. With the help of her brother Jaime he’d gotten me and my sister new identities, passports to fly out to Dallas Texas and a gun for tonight. He had a connect with a lady who ran a place called “The Safe House”. The Safe House was where women and kids could live in if they’ve been abuse and wanted to start a new life. “You ready for tonight mamacita?” Cecilia asks. “Hell yes I’ve never been so ready for anything in my life” I grin. For some reason I felt crazy. It’s like I knew I was delusional but I didn’t care. My life’s been ruin ever since I was 11 years old. I’ve had lots of sleepless nights listening to Tia cry herself to sleep. The only reason why I didn’t want to go to the police. Is so that me and Tia wouldn’t get caught up in the system and have the fear of losing each other forever. All I can do is tell her that one day we’ll never have to go through this again. “So this is what we’re going to do –Cecilia explains --after you pull the trigger Trisha please mami run as fast as y’all can me and my brother will be parked in a black Pontiac waiting on you in the back of your house.” “Okay mi Amiga I’ll make sure to run with speed” I laugh. Cecilia hits me in my arm as we walk into the school and head to our classes.   Before my last class period was over I texted my sister to make sure she was ready for tonight. I took that as a yes because she replied to me less than a minute! My baby sis Tia was in Junior high so me and her would meet at our neighborhood corner store S&T and walk home. Usually Cecilia walks with us, but since her brother was in on the scoop of our plans she decided to ride with him home. “I see you at 9:40 sharp!” I yell to Cecilia. “Alright my love I’ll be as quick as possible” I say before making my way down the street. When I saw my sister she was looking beautiful as ever. Tia is taller than me. She’s about 5’5, has a slim shape body, with caramel skin, curly hair and hazel brown eyes. People always thought she was the oldest out of both of us but she isn’t. “Hey baby sis” I say while hugging her. “Hey doll how was school?” she ask. “School was okay all I could think about is how we have to leave everybody and everything.” “I know same here” she reply’s rubbing my back. “We can’t live like this for the rest of our lives its us against the world Trisha” Tia cries. “I know baby sis, but after tonight we’ll be free from everything” I respond holding her hand for confront as we walk home. My Aunt and Uncle lived in a red bricked down 3 bedroom house. Although they really had too much space in this house they’ve been living here for years! Me and Tia hated coming home but we never had a choice and running away without a plan wasn’t an option for us. “Where you two little tricks been at?” Aunt Ruthy questions as we walk through the door. “We’re in school duh dummy” Tia whispers.” “What you say to me little girl?” Aunt Ruthy cuts her eyes at Tia. “Nothing Aunt Ruth lets go to our room Tia” I say while grabbing my sisters arm. Aunt Ruthy is short and chubby. Fuck that Aunt Ruthy is short and big; she so fat that her neck sits on her shoulders in real life. Her complexion is brown, she has long black hair that droops down pass her shoulders and her stomach is so big that it shakes when she walks.   That’s probably why Uncle Mason rapes his nieces at night because he’s not attracted to her. Uncle Mason is Dark and 6ft tall. Mason is black as hell and he reminds me of a monster or the boogy-man that hides in your closet at night. “Where’d you put the gun Trisha?” “its under my pillow.” I walk over to my bed and pull a black 9 millimeter from the inside of the pillow case. I check the clip and made sure I had the same 3 bullets in it from when Jaime gave me the gun. I hear foot steps coming down the hall so I hurry up and stuff the gun back under my pillow inside of the pillow case. I then see Ruthy busting through our bedroom door. “Come eat this food that I cooked!” Aunt Ruthy hollers. Me and Tia follows her down the hall and into the kitchen. “Don’t eat too much your uncle has to eat too.”   Little did she know me and Tia never ate much in this house. It’s hard to eat, sleep or piss around here when you’re living with two delusional adults. Aunt Ruthy cooked meatloaf, cornbread and green beans. Don’t get me wrong she can cook, but that’s about the only good thing her sorry ass could do. After we sit and eat just before we release from the table I hear the door slam and heavy foot steps approaching. It couldn’t be no one else besides Uncle Mason. Every time he comes home from work my heart usually drops to my stomach excluding tonight though. Tonight I was devoted. I felt a range of anger as soon as I seen his black hideous face. “Hey pretty girls” he says waving his hands and smiling from ear to ear. “Hi Uncle Mason” Me and Tia says together. “You always acknowledge them little bitches cause they suck your dick at night but you don’t say shit to me” Aunt Ruthy says furiously. “Bitch I don’t like you!” Uncle Mason yells. “Fuck your “me time” you nasty slut!” Ruthy roars. SMACK! SMACK! POP! Uncle Mason Pounds on Aunt Ruthy’s face that was me and Tia key to leave and run to our room. We had a big night a head of us and I didn’t want them to ruin it with their fighting. Hours passed and my clock read 9:37pm. I text Cecilia to see if her and her brother was behind my house like they said they was. She replies less than a minute saying she’s outside waiting. I got myself mentally and physically prepared. I had the gun in my right hand tilted to the side and holding it as tight as I could. “Are you ready Trisha?” Tia asks siting right next to me on my bed. My bed was straight across from the door. So as soon as Mason opens the door I can immediately pull the trigger before he steps any closer to me and my baby sister! I knew Mason was on his way in because there was no more noise between him and Aunt Ruthy plus this is usually the time everything goes down. I can just hear his heavy breathing making its way down the hall. He sounds and looks like a fat pit-bull with the little pink thing hanging out. Just disgusting. I swallow my spit and take a deep breath. I can hear him singing “me time”, “me time”, “me time” seconds away from the door. As he turned the knob I slowly begin to pull the trigger. He quickly opens the door and shouts WHAT THE FUCK! BANG! BANG! BANG! I dropped the gun and Uncle Mason body dropped right along with it leaving him on his stomach. Me and Tia jump up from our bed to our bedroom door screaming to the top of our lungs. “AHHH MY EARS HURT TRISHA!” “Mine too!” I say. “OH MY GOODNESS WHAT THE HELL DID YALL DO!?” Aunt Ruthy yells while running towards Uncle Mason and dropping down to the floor. She flips him over and I see three bullets in his chest. My phone begin to vibrate I reach in my pocket to see it as Cecilia calling. I instantly grab Tia by the hand and dash right out of the door. I quickly find the black Pontiac in the back of my house. As we jump right in the car I look in to Cecilia brother’s eyes who are glued on me and yelp. “DRIVE!”         Publication Date: June 29th 2021 https://www.bookrix.com/-lof16cc2d47d0a5

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-jonathan-lerma-wanted/

jonathan lerma WANTED Framed " maddison " i say looking around a empty parking lot " where is she ? " i start dialing her number and seeing if she picks up her phone " hello " i here a voice on the other line " blake " i hear maddison but she is having trouble breathing " maddison where are you " i start looking around " maddison stay with me " i look under the cars to see for feet moving , i hear someone else on the phone " this is what you get , you deserved everything that was coming to you " i hear a person talking and suddenly " ARGH !!" a scream coming from the floor above me " maddison " i start running up the stairs .When i open the door its quit and i see nothing but darkness and cars " maddison you up here " i start walking around looking for her " what the hell " i say looking at the floor and seeing a trail of blood " shit " i start walking towards it . When i notice that her body was dragged some where " blake " i hear maddison's voice when i turn to see where its coming from i see its right next to a car on the corner of the parking lot " maddison " i walk slowly towards the sound , when i see maddison on the floor bleeding out " oh no " i run to her and hold her " what happen " i say looking at her waiting for a response " blake there still here " she says looking up at some thing . I turn around dialing 911 on my phone " hello 911 i need a ambulance my ex girlfriend she is hurt badly " i stop when i see a hooded figure run across the parking lot running for the exit " Hey" i run after them. The hooded figure turns and see's me running towards them , they ignore me and leave down the stairs " stop running " i say going after him. When i follow them into the lower part of the parking lot they disappear " dam it " i run back up stairs and go check on maddison , when i run upstairs and see her i notice her phone ringing. I grab her phone " Unknown Caller" i answer the phone " hello , who is this " all i hear on the other line is a voice breathing heavily " who the fuck is this " i say waiting for a reply " you shouldnt have gotten involved kid " i hear a man's voice on the other line " why ?, what did she do to you " i ask him " she knew to much " he says opening a car door " she knew to much ? " i stand up " yeah and know your going to have to pay " the man says " wait what do you" the man hangs up the phone before i could finish speaking " shit " i look back at maddison " your going to be fine " i start to tear up " blake you have to leave now " she says trying to get herself up " why is this happening i need this to stop , i know she isnt going to make it " . I notice something on the floor " is that a knife " i pick it up seeing blood on it " maddison is this the murder weapon " i look at her . She isn't moving anymore " no no no no you cant die " i try to wake her up telling her " look its not that bad , its not even that" i stop and i get up " she's gone" . " Ever have that moment where you try your best at something but you fail miserable , well that's how i feel right now and i dont know who to blame the man who did this or me for not being able to save her " I get up and hear someone coming up the steps " what the hell " i see red and blue lights , suddenly a burst through the door " alright dont move " i see lights being pointed at me " put your hands where i can see them " a group of officer's say to me " put the knife down " they start coming closer to me " chief there's a body over here , she's dead " the man steps away from maddison's dead body " sir im not going to ask you again put your hands were i can see them " the officer steps closer to me pointing his gun at me " i dont think i can do that officer " i say dropping the knife " dont do something your going to regret " the officer says coming closer " men surround him " he yells trying to grab me . I start to run away from the man ducking under the cars , i start to crawl under the cars hoping they dont see me " men shoot him if you have to " the officer says flashing his flashlight all over the parking lot . I get up and begin to head for the exit door when i look behind me and see bullets being fired , fired at me " get him he is escaping " they start to run after me . When i open the door i see more lights coming from the bottom floor " shit " i start to run up the stairs and hoping they dont look for me up here. When i get up to the roof top i try to open the door but " its locked , shit " i keep trying to make it budge , but it wont open. I try to see if there coming but when i check i hear foot steps coming up " check upstairs " i see flash lights being pointed at me again " stop or this time we will shoot " i get tackled and they grab my arms and put them behind my back " your under arrest anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law " i try to shake them off " men tasar him " i feel a tingle hit my body then a bunch of pain " get up " i get lifted up and taken back to the policemen's car. When we get down to it , i see people pulling out there phones and taking pictures and making video's as though this is just another youtube video people can watch " get in " the police officer open's the door and shove's me in the car " your going to jail " . Driving in the back of a cop car for minutes but it feels like hours " you have to try and escape from these hand cuff's" i think to myself " hey kid what's your name " i look up and see the officer talking to me " blake " i tell him trying to brak the hand cuff's " officer there has been a mistake i called you guys because i found her body , and the murder weapon " i tell him " if it was a mistake why did you run from us and had blood all over you " he says pulling up to the police station. He steps out of the car and open's my door " alright kid you re" i headbutt him and start to run " SON OF A BITCH" the officer wipe's the blood coming from his nose and he starts running after me i run into the woods " shit shit shit , i need to hide " i fall into a pond and wait to see if i hear someone " i need to get home " when i think the coast is clear i start to run to my house " maybe my dad can help me ". When i reach my block i see police men at my parents house " no " i hide in the bushes hoping no one saw me " what the hell " i feel my leg vibrate , i try pulling it out but it falls and i see it's maddison's phone " Unknown Caller" i use my hand to answer the phone " listen i don't know who you are but i want you to know im going to fucking kill you " i say trying to pick up the phone " its not going to be easy your friend maddison tried and look what happened to her" i hear him laughing as though its a joke " you know don't you , that i am being framed for what you did " i say standing up " who do you think called the cops " he says to me " but i called " i get stopped " called them a little to late i wanted to frame you don't you get it , i told maddison to call you and i left the knife there so you can pick it up and leave your finger prints you idiot ITS ALL PART OF MY PLAN " he says hanging up . I see the cops leaving my house " dad " i start run to my house and banging on the door " open guys please " i see lights come on and my mom open's the door " honey " i walk in there and call my dad to come downstairs " honey the police told us everything , why did you do it " my mom says tearing up " mom you have to believe me i didn't do it " i tell her running into the kitchen " son " i hear my dad coming downstairs " dad i need you to help me get these hand cuff's off me " i tell him " did you really kill maddison " he says to me " dad please you have to believe me " i say walking towards the garage " blake " i turn around and see a police officer standing outside the open door " i need you to come with me " he says pulling out his gun " what's going on " my brother comes running upstairs from the basement " i didnt kill her " i tell the officer " just come with me and we can talk " he says walking closer to me " i dont want to talk about it " i charge at him head first and he elbows me to the ground " enough no more games " i look at my brother and he grabs a pan and smacks the cop over the head " dont touch my brother you shit face " he says smacking him constantly " michael stop " my dad grabs him and forces him to drop the pan " blake come with me " i hear my dad open the garage door " let's get those hand cuff's off " he says with a disappointing look " okay stand there " he says taking out a hammer and starts hitting the hand cuff's until they break loose " thanks dad " i tell him running upstairs to my room " i need some things " i grab a book bag and fill it with stuff i will need , and i change my clothes and start heading out the door when i hear " blake take this " i see my dad hand me a wallet " you will need money , i know its not going to be much but take it " i take it and ask for the car keys " here sweetie " my mom gives me them with tears running down her face " i love guys " i leave out the door knowing im not going to come back. Stand Alone Lights going by so fast driving into nowhere " im lost " i stop the car in front of sunny motel . "Hey what can i help you with" a man with fair hair and glasses comes to the counter " yes can i have a room" i tell him pulling out my dad's credit card. " It will $150" he tells me taking my card and swiping it " okay your room is 23 A". I walk outside into the cold night, walking up the stairs In search for my room " 23 A" i swipe my card though the door and walk in. Bring its Madison's phone " 1 unread message" i look at it " let the game begin" i look to see who sent it but all it says is unknown caller . I throw the phone on the bed and sit down and begin to think. " Why is this happening " bring i grab the phone " 1 unread message " i read it " there coming for you , no way of escaping" i start to text back " listen you sick bastard i don't know who you are but i will find you" i get interrupted by a knock at the door " open up ". I stop i feel time go by slow " open NOW" they begin to bang on the door even harder, walking closer towards the door i walk to the window hoping to see who it was " who is it" i turn the curtains to see who it was " its micheal" he says. I open the door and as soon as Micheal get's in i close the door and lock it " what are you doing here" i ask him " i followed you here on my bike, you really need to go to a motel that isn't 2 miles away from where we live" he puts a bag down " do mom and dad know your here" i tell him sitting down on a old recliner " no i ran out while they were helping the officer regain conciseness" he says grabbing his phone out of his pocket. " what are you doing" i ask him " turning off the GPS ,mom and dad can have the cops track us like that.. here turn yours off" he throws me maddisons phone " no i have mine's in my pocket " i take my phone out and turn off the GPS " then who's phone is that " Micheal asks me with curiosity " it's" i stop talking and look down in shame as though im guilty of something "Blake ... did you kill maddison " Micheal sits down next to me " no .. but i was there with her i felt her going cold and talking to me" i say with tears running down my face " did you see who did it" Micheal begins to walk toward his backpack " no they were wearing a black hoodie " i look up " you know what this sounds like " Micheal begins to smile in a cheesy way " like what? " i ask him knowing what he is going to say " Pretty Little Liars it seems just like it " i begin to shake my head " but i have been getting calls and texts from the person who killed her" i act serious. Micheal begins to run to his get his phone and begins to dial someone " who are you calling" i stand up " hello Nellie yeah its me Micheal" i get closer hoping to hear what there talking about " i need your help with something, when can we meet up" Micheal says pushing me away as though he was trying to keep his conversation private " tomorrow night at your house , okay thanks " micheal hangs up the phone " what was that about " i ask him " i know how we can find who killed Maddison". I begin to walk around the motel room thinking " okay if we find out we cant just call the cops" i say " if we find out well make them confess on tape " Micheal begins to grab his jacket " what are you doing" i say looking confused " im hungry im going to find a vending machine down stairs" he says grabbing his hat " wait,lets go eat somewhere" i tell him not wanting him to go alone " okay well can we go now im really hungry".We start heading out the door when i remember to take Maddison's phone to see if i get another text or call. We start driving to a restaurant that we use to go to when we were kids maybe going back to the past will make me forget about my future and how messed up it is. When we get there we see the sign and how bright it still is Johnny Rockets when we start walking i here a vibration " who is that" Micheal says i pull the phone out noticing that i left my phone in the car. " 1 new unread message" i look at my brother " read it". I slide open the phone and read it out loud " Cops are not the only one hunting you" i look up " hey wait there is an attachment" Micheal says clicking on it " what the hell" we both see that its a picture of me and micheal walking out of the car " wait look" Micheal grabs the phone " the angle he took the picture" he points to a dark forest " wait you see that" i say looking closer " there is someone there" micheal says running towards them " MICHEAL" i say running after him. Darkness cant see anything around me i yell out " Micheal" and stop hoping to hear foot prints. When i see someone standing there " micheal ?" i can see there face " Blake move " i see my brother running right behind me " Its you" without thinking i start running at them with full force " Blake he has a gun" i look at his hand moving up pointing a gun towards me " Move" i hear my brother push me to the ground. BANG i hear a gun shot go off " micheal" i see him laying on the floor not moving, then i look at the dark hooded figure standing the with his hand raised up " who are you" i say to them. They don't reply " owww my head " i hear my brother yell standing up " you didn't shoot him , why". The hooded figure begins to run again " No your not getting away from me" i start running after them following on his tracks when we both end up on the road. They stop running and turn around, i tackle them full force and we both fall hard on the ground " where do you think your going" i say grabbing them by the leg " lets see who you are " i pull the hoodie down only to see a teenage boy with blonde hair looking at me " who are you" i grab him shaking him hoping he would get scared and tell me " STOP don't hurt me, this wasn't part of the deal" i begin to punch him taking out all my anger " who sent you" i pick him up and throw him hard on the pavement " listen this is more complicated them you think, the person who sent me here you ... you dont want to meet him" the boy says pulling himself up " Blake " i turn around and see micheal standing there with blood coming from his head " behind you " micheal says pointing at the teenage boy " let him go " i tell micheal walking towards him " hey wait look " micheal says running to grab a phone on the floor " he must have dropped it when i was" i stopped " that wasn't him .. well the killer" Micheal begins to walk closer " look what i found " i pulls out a gun from his pocket " where did you-" " the guy must have dropped it when you started chasing him" Micheal hands me the gun. "Lets go someone might see us, we better go " i start walking when i hear a groaning sound " your hungry aren't you" i begin to laugh " yeah, but if you want we can eat somewhere else " he begins to walk behind me " no thats stupid were already here might as well eat". After all that just happened i cant believe we are suppose to act like nothing happened, everything is normal.Maybe im not alone in all this i have my younger brother with me and we have the killers phone maybe everything is going to work out. Text: Jonathan Lerma Images: Jonathan Lerma Editing: Jonathan Lerma Translation: Jonathan Lerma All rights reserved. Publication Date: October 29th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-gleek4life

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-alexas-adkins-my-magical-and-mystical-friends-part-1/

Alexas Adkins My Magical and Mystical Friends Part 1 The Broken Heart You know how everyone and everything says that vampires are not real. Well I will tell you vampires are very real. I know they are real because some of my old friends are real vampires. That is where our story begins, by the way my name is Ally Graves.   It all starts on my first day at school in a little creepy, very rainy town named Witherspine. We had just moved there during the summer from Merdoisia. We moved because my mom Blythe Graves lost her job and she could not find a new one in Merdoisia. So we had to move sadly, I will miss all of my friends and our home. But for some reason I think it is a really good thing and I don’t know why.   We found a house and my mom found a job in a town sixteen and a half miles away from our home in Merdoisia. It took me a while to settle in. Me and my mom really didn’t want to move but we really didn't have a choice. By the first day of school I was just starting to like our new home. School was fine I just started tenth grade and had no friends, knew nobody, and it was just me and my mom.   There was three strange kids in the school there names are Alex, Michele, and Daniel Vona.Also called the weird, strange, and creepy ones. Why because of the way they act and the fact that they are never at school when it’s a sunny day. On the fifth day of school Friday they had just back from their two day trip on Wednesday and Thursday. They just kept staring at me like I was their enemy.  For the first two months everything was fine until one day I decided to take a shortcut home through the woods. I saw Alex, Daniel, and Michele Vona feeding on a mountain lion. Then when I was walking back slowly I hit a twig and they seen me. I ran as fast as I could home. I had thought I had lost them but when I got home they were waiting for me. They wanted to talk about what I had seen. We talked for five hours about what I had seen. They told me that they were vampires and not to be scared of them, they also told me that he wouldn’t hurt me. I told them that their secret was safe with me.Then Alex and Michele left. Daniel stayed and invited me over to there house the next day so that I could meet everyone. The next day Daniel picked me up after school at my house and took me over to his house. His mom and dad had made me some chicken. They welcomed me in like I was one of their own. They were very nice vampires. After a while Alex noticed her brother Daniel acting weird whenever he is around me. Alex asked her brother if anything is wrong, Daniel denied everything. Alex suspects that Daniel likes me. The next day Alex asked her brother if he liked me he shook his head yes. Later Alex asked me if I liked Daniel I told her no. The next day there were two new kids their names were Lily and Tina Monia, they are sisters. The two sisters did everything together. Two weeks later two more new kids came their names were Luke and Andrew Vixon. Daniels feelings grow for Ally, but Ally likes Luke. The next day I went to Lilly’s and Tina’s house and I seen them use their magic. Luke and Andrew were passing by and they seen me.They also seen Lilly and Tina use their magic. The three of us knocked on their door and told them what we seen. We all promised not to tell anyone that they had powers, then we all left. One week later Mark and Carrie Reed moved to town. They were total opposites they had nothing in common. I introduced them to everyone they made friends very easy. But when Mark met Lilly there were sparks, they hit it off very well. A few weeks went by and school was fine until the middle of the school year came, and we had a ton of tests. A month later we finally finished our tests and the school year was back to normal. Except all of the strange things I had seen everything is cool. Carrie notices that her brother Mark likes Lilly. So Carrie asked Lilly if she liked Mark she told her yes. Later that day Mark asked Lilly out she told him yes. When Carrie found out her brother and Lilly were dating she was so upset with her brother. So Carrie goes and confronts Lilly and tells her to break up with her brother. She told Carrie no, so Carrie started a fight with Lilly. Carrie tries to kill Lilly, but before she did she told her she could live if she broke up with Mark, she told her no. So Carrie killed her. When Mark found out that his sister Carrie had killed Lilly he was furious. He told his sister that he hated her and never wanted to see or hear her ever again. Later that week Carrie had gotten cancer and because she had nobody to take care of her she died two days later. Mark went into a deep deep depression over Lilly’s death. Later that day Luke asked me out and I told him yes. I waited a few days before I told the Vona’s that I was dating Luke because I didn’t know how they would react. Alex and Michele were happy for me. Daniel was mad for some reason. Then Daniel told me that he liked me, I told him that I liked him but as a friend. Since then it’s been two weeks since I had seen or heard from Daniel. Tina Monia Lilly’s sister tried to help Mark get over Lilly but it didn’t work. She has been helping him for the last few weeks and since then she has developed feelings for Mark. But Mark loved Lilly and he doesn’t want to ever date again. Daniel reappeared and went over to Luke’s house and told him to break up with me or there would be severe consequences. Luke didn’t listen. Two days later Luke and Daniel got into a fight. Luke got hurt really badly Daniel did not. Luke almost died but Tina seen him and healed him just in time.  Later that day Daniel told Ally about the fight. Tina went over to the Vona’s house to ask Daniel what had happened. Daniel wasn’t there Andrew was the only one there. Andrew had always liked Tina, he was able to keep it a secret. But what Andrew didn’t know was that Tina liked him. While she was there he asked her out she told him yes. So they started dating. While Tina was with Andrew, Mark ate something and it made him sick. By the time Tina returned there was nothing she could do he was dead. Later that day she told everyone that Mark was dead. The next day was Lilly’s funeral. Everyone cried but the Vona’s, that was the start of the funerals. One week later was Carrie’s funeral. Nobody cried for her except her family. Two more weeks passed then there was Mark’s funeral everyone cried. After the funeral we all went somewhere to eat. Luke didn’t talk to me for two months and I really didn’t know why. Another week went by, then two more new kids moved to town. Their names were Jake and Amy Clarin two very weird kids. They did everything together the only thing they didn’t have in common was that Jake is athletic, Amy is not. The next day I went over to see Luke, but his mother said he wasn’t home. I could tell that she was mad at me for something, so I decided to go looking for Luke. An hour later I found him in the park staring at the sky. I went over and sat by him and asked him if he was mad at me. He said “Of course i’m mad at you, you took up for Daniel and not me!” Then he said “I thought you liked me, but it seems you don’t.” Finally he said “We are done!!!!” After that I went home and cried for hours. Then when my mom came home she heard me crying and she comforted me until I stopped crying. When I did my mom asked me why I was crying. I told her Luke Vixon dumped me. For the next week I didn’t talk to anyone. The next day two new kids arrived they were twins. Their names were Marinda and Mike Blue. They may be twins but they are nothing alike. Mike hates sports, but Marinda loves sports and is very athletic. The next day Mike joined the math team, so weird. Another two weeks went by and another new kid came his name was Sam Larkson.He was really cute. I showed him around town and had him meet everyone. He was very nice and very quiet. Daniel got mad, because of the way I was looking at Sam Larkson. A few weeks went by and nothing happened.But then Sam asked me out. I told him yes. Daniel was the very last person to find out that I was dating Sam Larkson. Why, because when I did tell him he got so mad he turned red and his eyes were bright red. He didn’t calm down until Thanksgiving Break, which was one month and five days away. Thanksgiving was fun especially when five of my old friends came for a visit. Their names were Annabeth Lee, Percy Grace, Hazel Levesque, Sabastian Michaelis, and Elizabeth Dare or Liz. Annabeth told me her and Percy were dating. My friends were so happy for me when I told them I had a boyfriend. By the time Daniel talked to me again it was Christmas Break. I decided to take another walk in the woods as a shortcut home from school. Which was a bad idea, because I sew Sabastian feeding on a mountain lion. I turned around and ran as fast as I could home. The next day I told Sabastian what I saw he wasn’t surprised like he already knew. By the end of semester one Sam had failed math. So he asked me to tutor him. After a few weeks of me tutoring him he was no longer a failure at math. When Spring Break came around the cold weather had let up. But Daniel was nowhere to be found. The next day me and the Vona’s went looking for him. But couldn’t find him anywhere. We all decided to split up and look for him. I decided to go alone which was a bad idea, I got bit by a poisonous snake. If Daniel hadn’t found me and got his dad I would be dead. Next I went to see Sam and I seen him making out with Hazel. I freaked out and ran home crying and told my mom what I seen. She told me not to worry and that I would find someone else. I told her that I really liked Sam a lot. The next day I went to see Sam and he broke up with me. The next day I went and told everyone what happened. Daniel felt bad for me he knew that I really liked Sam. Daniel gave me a big hug and told me it would be ok. I told him that it wasn’t ok, that she was my friend and she betrayed me. I told him that I was tired of getting my heart broken. Late that night I told myself that I would be alone forever. That night I vowed to never date again…...   Publication Date: March 8th 2016 https://www.bookrix.com/-fp201f631958d65

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-l-a-milton-pony-farm-mystery/

L. A. Milton Pony Farm Mystery Horses. Prologue: There had always been something different about the statue of the boy and his pony in Grandma's garden at Cedar Hill Farm. Something... well, mysterious and perhaps even a little bit deliciously scary. The small stone statue stood on a chunky column in the middle of a shaggy patch of grass. It could be approached only by a narrow opening cut through the dense hedge that enclosed the area. This was a secluded place, frosted and stark in winter, but scented in summer by the old roses and specks of herbs that clambered around the foot of the statue. Small hoof-prints sometimes marked the grass, where no hoof-print should have been. When my twin sister Emily and I were younger and would go to visit Grandma with our parents, I'd immediately tear through the maze of unused stable yards and the tangled orchard to the hidden garden beyond, in a panic lest the spunky little guardians were gone. They never were, of course. The boy grinned impishly, keeping one hand on the bridle of his mount. His eyes seemed to look right at me with a challenging stare. The pony's head was tossed as he pranced on the high block. With one fore-hoof raised, he was ready and willing for adventure. Once, I'd confided to Grandma how I'd climbed up behind the boy onto the pony's back and we'd gone for a cross-country gallop. Only it wasn't the fields and woods by Grandma's that we traveled but a wilder landscape, where horses roamed freely in great thundering herds and there was not a single house or other building to be seen. "Oh, Hannah, what fun!" Grandma had replied. And she'd flashed me her quirky turned-down-at-the-corners smile, acknowledging a shared secret. The statue, Grandma said, was very old - so much so that nobody knew it's history. An understanding existed between the pony boy and me. We were friends. At least I hoped we were. It was a fact that things happened here in the hidden garden. Strange things. Things that could be given no rational explanation. Topping it all off was that eventful summer when Emily and I were going to turn fifteen. Grandma was convalescing after an operation. With Mom and Dad both frantically busy at work, there was no chance of a family vacation that year, so Grandma suggested that Emily and I visit her. We could keep her company and get in plenty of riding in the glorious Cedar Hill Farm countryside. We were old enough now to be considered responsible enough to cope. It seemed like the ideal solution. None of us could have guess that something truly momentous would happen there. Something that would completely change all of our lives. Chapter 1: "Nearly there," said Dad as he downshifted to negotiate the narrow, twisting lane to Cedar Hill Farm. He glanced in the rearview mirror, to check the trailer that carried our mare, Sirius. Emily - slumped beside me on the back seat of the car - gave the end of her long braid of reddish-gold hair a sudden, discontented tweak. "Wish we didn't have to go," she said, keeping her voice low so that Dad could not hear her. "Some vacation this will be. Bet we'll end up doing all the work around the place." "Don't think so," I whispered back. "Mom said that's all been taken care of. Anyway, it'll be great to see Grandma and the dogs again." "Grandma's old. They all are at Cedar Hill Farm. Even the hens are geriatric. Just think, Hannah. Instead we could be getting ready for the August show at the riding center right now." "Grandma doesn't act old," I said swiftly in her defense. Grandma dug in her garden, walked her dogs, and began every single day with a brisk canter in the woods. I had no problem with Grandma or Cedar Hill Farm. Besides, I had a personal reason for wanting to get away, one called Duane. "At least we've got Sirius with us," I went on encouragingly. "Benedict will need exercise too. For once, we'll each have a horse." Benedict was Grandma's warmblood, a sixteen-two hands veteran with a heart of pure gold. I deliberately did not mention the pony boy statue, which I found intriguing but Emily said it creeped her out. Nor did I dwell on the empty and desolate stable block that had once echoed with the clamor of many hooves and was now home only to the one horse, his donkey companion and scurrying mice. Once, before Emily and I were born, Cedar Hill Farm had been an up-and-coming racehorse stable, but something had gone very badly wrong and our grandfather, Jon Wesley, had lost his training license. He had died a broken man soon after, Grandma said. Instead I pointed out how great it would be to have a choice of stabling for Sirius. "We won't even have to clean up after her if we don't want to. We can bed her down in the next stall," I said with a laugh. "Disgusting," said Emily witheringly. I should have known that my sister, a stickler for cleanliness, would never have tolerated for anything so shabby. We broke out of the shade of dark overhanging trees into brilliant sunlight. And there it was. Cedar Fill Farm - stone-built, gracefully proportioned, a smiling house with deep-set windows open to the summer's day. Inside was a fantastic hodgepodge of rough plaster walls, old dark beams, creaky staircases and leaping winter fires, where you could curl up with a book and nobody would bother you. We drove through the entrance - with its crumbling stone pillars and sagging gates- and bumped slowly up the rutted drive, passing under the weathered stone clock arch before pulling up into the main stable yard. from the house, the dogs started to woof and grumble. Scrambling out of the car, we stood stretching our legs and looking around after the long journey. On the back doorstep a group of tabby cats lay sunning themselves. The dogs had fallen silent and Cedar Hill Farm sounds settled on the warm still air: birds singing, hens clucking in the orchard, and a group of riders trotting past on the road. In the bright sunshine, the once-handsome stable yard appeared more derelict than ever. The cobblestones were sunken and matted with weeds, and the old water pump in the middle was broken and boarded over. All but two of the stalls closed Publication Date: July 22nd 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-whaddupballer

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-maria-severini-the-girl-that-lost-her-way/

maria severini The Girl That Lost Her Way This book is sad and wants someone to help this girl out of this life and start a new life and have lots of friends. This girl is very shy and can't stand up for herself. Trying to learn how to speak out for her self and wants to learn how to live in the world with out being scared of everything. The Girl That Lost Her Way The Girl That Losted Her Way By: Maria Severini This book is all about my life. Everything is every true and everything I say is true. Please tell me what to do to not be like this book. I'm in the dark all by my self and I need someone to pull me out into the light. There are times I feel like I don't belong to be in this world I should just disappear forever. People wouldn't really care if I was gone or not. Just someone please help me and get me out of the nightmare of my life. I have treated like trash for my whole life. And no one has actually wanted to help me.    Chapter 1. What she thinks of herself. There was a girl that lost her way through her life. She was bullied at school every day. She wishes she was never around in the first place, she thinks she was made this way and no one cares about her. Not even her parents. She just wants everyone to stop picking on her for once in her life. Not everyone is perfect. If we were we wouldn’t be human. I just want a happy life. “What made me this way”? “She asked herself”. What made other people want to pick on me? People can’t just bully me because I’m a person. Can they do that? I don’t know. I just give up on trying to stand up for myself. I should just let them bully me. Sometimes what they say about me is really true and what they say does make me happy sometimes. I am really shy at saying something to someone, or anyone. I'm that scared of everyone around me. I sometimes think I was born to be bullied and was to not make any friends in school. What I really care about the most is my heart. People try to take that away from me and that is the only thing that makes me who I am. I really don't care about myself anymore anyways. People can say what they want to me. I told you I have given up on trying to get help. No one cares what I think and feel inside. I try to talk to someone but, I always feel the same way.   Chapter 2. What she wants to do to get better! What made people think that It's alright to bully other people. What made people be so mean to the girls that cant stand up for there selfs, what made people me so coldhearted to us people that can't live right. What do you think you can do for those people that are getting beat=en up by bullies and can't stand by them selfs anymore. Well, what I think is that you should take a stand and help those people out, be there for them, help them through this. Talk to them to make them feel better. Sometimes people want to just leave alone and that is okay for people to be like that. They go through a hard time like every day. You can't blame them for hating hem self because ho they are and what their life is like. Help us kids that are getting bullied in life.    I’m wanting to have friends that care about me at school, not just let me be bullied at school every day and never help me out. I want someone that cares and wants me to be happy, not there to just me I suffer and live like this. People want to see me happy, not sad. I want to change but sometimes I can't change when people keep watching me suffer and have to go through this in my life. chapter 3. What other people think about her changing herself.   People don't really care if I change myself or not. They will just keep bullying me for who I'm am. I dont want to be bullie danymore. Waht can I do to make them stop picking on me. Well I can stand up for my self, but I'm really shy of talking to other people. I can't even talk to a teacher about a question with out feeling shy and scared. I   Chapter 4. Why do people pick me? People want to pick on me, because they are jelouse of me. I don't know why they are! People sometime want to see me suffer in this way. "this is what I think inside". People don't care about waht my feelings are, and don't about other people thinkings. They like seening other people suffer, becasue it makes theme feel good inside. But other people dont't like those people who are like that. People should feel bad about them selfs about doing that to other people. These people get in trouble for doing that to other people.  Chapter 5. What to do in my life   Well when I grow up and get a job, I want to be a pet groomer, or vert. People someimes says I can't do that, or your not smart enough to get there. What if they are right,  but that doesn't mean i'm going to give up. I love animals. I don't want them to suffer in pain like I have to go through now in my life. I see people hurtting, then i hurt inside. Becasue ik what its like to feel like no one is here to help me through any of my problems. But jsut know people are out thtere here for you. Its going to take a while ot relizease that but you will have someone want to react out for you and help you out.  Chapter 6. I want to make a change in life  People try to make me do things that I don't want to do. People say things that I hate. People can't change what I think inside. People can't control me, and what I do. When people say inappropriate things to me, I hate them doing that to me. It's so wrong of them to do that to me. I hva ebeen through so much in my life. i really don't wan tto deal witht eh drama anymore. So thats why i hide from everyone. Beucase when i'm alone nothing ad happens to me. And i can feel safe without anyone wanting to go at me for anything i do or say.    People think I'm not worth their time.  Sometimes I think that people just don't want to waste their time with me. They think i'm nothing, and I don't try too do anything to fix that. I talk to my friends but I just dont care anymore. People say alot of bad things about me, but I just try to deal with it. I have never really stood up for myself. I can't do that because how shy I am. I cant even talk to my parents with even getting shy being around them. People have always been screaming at me or picking on me through school or at home. my parents are the worst people I can ever have in my life. Well for real, it all goes back ot me, becuase i'm the one who causes to the fights or start up something with annyone, that bothers me. I get really mad really easiy, with anyone. And my parets think they can help me wih thst, but thry can't even though i have gone to so many people for help, but nothing has changed for me. What has life has done for me?  Life hasn't been on my side, lately. All of bad stuff has been going on through my llife, me wanting to die, family screaming at me  for every little thing i do. Its hard dealing with things, when people expect you to ahve to deal with. life isn't the easiest thing out there. We all make mistakes, but we have to learn from those mistakes. I know sometimes it gets to hard and we give up, but there re wy to get through the problem your going through Publication Date: March 26th 2021 https://www.bookrix.com/-uc0f7286a3b5c85

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-a-j-damn-how-to-love/

A.J. Damn How To Love You Have No Idea To everyone who listened like Julie (bro you should get paid) and Everyone at the rec that made this book just by doing what they do. You guys made my book(: CHAPTER 1: SUMMER APETIZER "JOSE YOUR AN ASS!" Patty said laughing. "OH YEAH WELL YOUR TITS!" Jose screamed back. "What the fuck?! Really Jose really?" THey smiled at each other. I always sensed they had something going on, but anything I'd say about that will trigger them to telling me off. So it was better just to watch. We finished lunch and went outside. Jose has long hair, kinda like Justin Bieber but alil longer. Hes a punk so he hated Justin Bieber. ALthough his intials were tha same: J.B., and Patty she didnt try to be girly and she had LONG HAIR!!! I swear like Rapunzel. We kept on walking until we came upon a group of guys that included Ivan and Henry. Henry and I USE to like each other in 6th grade. Henry is skinny and has colored eyes that you can never figure out. Hazel? Honey? Hazel and honey? Ivan is a tall, skinny, goofy, and a 6. Well I give him a 6. "Ivy! We need to talk! Personal." Henry said looking at Jose and Patty. THey kept walking until they knew they couldnt hear us, but still was able to stare at us, and stare they did. They had big eyes like an owl, which owls freak me out so I looked away. "What?" I asked. "Ivan likes you alot, and wants to go out with you. Go out with him." I looked at this boy confused as if he should be the confused one. Did he just command me?! What the hell?! A then I thought ok ok wait isnt that a little middle school? Asking a friend to do the job for him. Then again we were in middle school, actually finishing middle school, we became 8th graders. "Ssooo yes or no?" He asked anxious for my answer. "Tell him to do it." At first I didnt think and I didnt want Ivan to do it. I didnt think he would dare, but he did... he did. I was walking with Patty and Jose until I came to tis point where i saw Ivan and Henry waiting for me. OH SHIT!! The where at this tree were mostly boyfriend and girlfriend had theyre private lovey dovey moments. I act cool but really I didnt know what I felt. I KINDA liked this guy. "Hey Ivy I wanted to know if you wanted to go out with me?" Awww he was blushing and he was nervous. "Uhmmm yeah." He hugged me in relief. I smiled. I guess you can say I did like him and was kinda happy. CHAPTER 2: HONEST The bus from summer school drop me off at this place where you had to be a member and you get to meet other people and of course play sports. I went inside and saw Angel, Eddie, Fishy, Ricky, some other dudes, and this really familiar dude play basket-ball. I couldnt help but stare at this familiar dude. Then he couldnt help and notice I was staring so he was staring back. I didnt really care if he noticed I just wanted to know who he was. I was kinda blind so I couldnt see well because he was far away. And thats when Fishy screamed his name. My eyes were then wide and my jaw dropped in shock. It was him. I then grew happy. I couldnt believe it was..... Joe. I sat and watched Joe play basket-ball. Joe was best friends with one of my ex's Johnny, and I havent seen Joe for a year. I kinda liked Joe because he was funny, and kinda cute. Everytime Joe saw me stare he smiled. He knew I missed him. Finally the game finished and the guys went to drink water, except Joe. Joe instead walked towards me. I smiled every step he took. "Hey-," hahaa! he didnt get to finish talking because i pratically jumped on him with a hug and said "OH MY GOSH IT'S YOU!!" He laughed and said "yeah its me, and wow it's you!" I laughed and rubbed Joe's sweat away, which was alot. We both sat and just talked away, and there was no pauses. Just talking back and forth. "And Johnny? Hows he been? How come he didnt come?" I asked, which was stupid! "Uhmmm Johnny... Yeaaaah i havnt talked to him. I dont know he changed." "Can I tell you sonething?" He asked. "Go for it." "Remember when Johnny always told you that I liked you?" "Yeah, yeah." "Well he didnt lie. I did, and still do, and alot..." I smiled and glew, but soon faded. I remebered bout Ivan. I then broke in and interrupted him again. "Joe I have a boyfriend, Ivan." I said disappointed. "Fuck..." He thought for a moment. He began again "I dont care. That doesnt change the fact I still like you. Ivy, do you like me back?" He asked curios. Fuck. Shit. Crap. Dammit. Why now? Lie! I must! "Joe I do. I like you." What? Lying is a sin, so I was honest. He smiled. Hmm his smile was contagious, cause I smiled too. "Ivy your leaving!" Fudge!!! For the first time they picked me up early!! We got up and we hugged and he whispered "You know I can be yours and you can be mine. Its simple. I missed you alot Ivy." I hugged him tighter. "Its not that easy, and I missed you more." Then next thing you know I'm in the car wishing I havent had said yes. CHAPTER 3: AKWARDNESS Its been probably a week since Ive been hanging out with Joe. We were at lunch and I was with Patty, Jose, and Ivan. Of course Patty and Jose were fighting, but when dont they. Ivan grabbed my hand and I was stuck thinking about Joe. Ivan was lost in my eyes and I was lost somewhere else. He sensed something was going on, Ive been ignoring him, and ditching him. I couldnt help it! Being with him was uncomfortable espically having Joe in my mind. It was just akward. I hadnt cheated on Ivan. I havnt even touch Joe. We just talked. No not flirt. Just talk. Sometimes he'd bring up Ivan and say come on break up with him already. But everytime I tried, I couldnt. It was just to damn akward! Then we went to last block and Alondra came up to me about Ivan. "He told me he wants to talk to you." Shit. So I went to the restroom and saw this guy name Angel. He was talking to me in spanish, which i dont talk but I understand so i responded in english. Then Ivan came out of the restroom, and smiled. He walked towards me and hugged me, and I hugged back. "Aww ke cute!" Angel smiled. I admit when Angel first came to our school in 6 as a newbie, every girl thought he was hot. Even me, but na. "Whats wrong that you've been weird?" I nodded. He took one last look at me, and hugged me goodbye. Angel was gone before Ivan. So I went back to our classes and well I was the smart one. I shouldnt even be there, but thats what I get for slaking off all school year. That day was movie day. Yay! Not like anyone payed attention during regular days. All everyone did was talk, eat, and listen to ipods. So we fulled a room with 3 different types of classes. So me and my friend Samantha and Alondra sat behind these guys name Eloy, Victor, and Marco. I didnt really talk to the guys during class but I we started talking there. For some reason Marcos called Alondra a slut. "ssllluuuuttt." he whispered to her. "Marcos shut up!" She screamed. Eloy and Victor laughed. They laughed exactly the same. Victor offered me gummie bears, and when i said yes he threw it at me. I threw one back but he hit it which accidently hit Eloy, so he threw one. Then Marcos shoved one up Alondras nose. Then the guys threw some in our shirts (aiming for our bras) and screamed "ITS IN THE HOLE! ITS IN THE HOLE!!" so we threw back, and well gummie bears ended up everywhere I had to go the restroom. Then when I came back Alondra said out of nowhere "Victor likes your lips." "Alondra what the fuck?!" Victor said. "Yeah when she left you were like 'Oh i love her lips and well yeah'." She said with a deep voice. "Well its true, I like your lips theyre big." He confessed, and I covered my lips with my hand. "Thats true she does have big lips." Eloy said. "Right! Im not the only one!" Victor said happily. I sat and contuined to cover them and they just kept whispering to me "big lips.... hey big lips turn around." When I went to the rec I was excited. I was hanging out with Eddie and Joe. "Hey you got new shoes. Wait hey those are the new Nike ones where you can put you ipod in!!! Its suppose to have a pocket in there!" Eddie said. Then he looked at Joe and smiled. At first Joe didnt know what he wanted, but when Eddie looked at my shoe he knew. Then I knew. "NO!" "Please!!" Eddie asked reaching out for my foot. "I just want to see!!" he tried to take off my shoe but I kicked and kicked, and thats when Joe helped Eddie. After a war between them they finally let me go. "Gosh fine Ivy!" Eddie said. "Lend me your cap." I said looking at his longhorns logo. "Its wet from sweat." He said. "I dont care, I like it." So he gave it to me. I felt all the sweat. Its amzing how much sweat a cap can hold. So Eddie left and TRIED to showoff to these 8 year olds at basket but its funny how they kicked his ass at it. Its funny cause he was 15 and they were two 8 year olds they kicked his ass. Wow they were like Kobe Bryant good. Then Joe looked at my hand and when i looked at him looking at my hand he looked away. He then saw the 4 square game we use to play when me him and Johnny met. He asked me "Lets go play 4 square, I remeber you'd always be queen of 4 square." "Na I dont wanna play without Johnny." I lied. Truth was when I play with a guy i really like I lose my game and fail. He looked away and shook off what I said. "Joe come play soccer ball!!" He got up and looked down and said "Be my cheerleader?" and he wove his arms and hands in tha air. I laughed "Naa I dont cheer no more. He looked away and sighed. "How about this one time?" He asked. I laughed "no." He smiled. I smiled again. Why is his smile so contagious?! I watched him play. He was awesome at basketball. Everytime he tried to talk to me during the game they would get after him, and everyone started getting suspicious. I mean woawh FINALLY!! When the game went to half-time, Joe came back and sat down with me. We started talking but when we actually look at each other with eye contact i guess theres nothing to say. So the longer the conversation the shorter the words, until we just got lost within each other. But I noticed something. Someone staring and I saw Ricky and Annette (Eddies bro & sis,) standing infront of us. "Yes?" I asked. "Are you guys going out?" Ricky asked. "No." I smiled, Joe didnt, ugh he didnt. Ricky and Annette left unconvinced. "You know it could be easier and better to say yes." Joe said. I looked at him, and he knew what I meant. Its not easy breaking up with a guy for another guy. Well yeah it kinda gets easy after a while. I guess he got mad or whatever because he left to play more basket-ball evewn though half time hasnt ended. So I left outside. It was gettin hot, so I wanted to leave until i saw my cousin Petey. His real name is Pedro but thats what they started calling him after he changed. Petey was a real good kid, he use to get straight A's never caught doing something bad, just making fun of me, lived with his grandpa and nana because his mom was in jail, and no one knew what happened to his dad. But somewhere when his nana died his whole life changed when he met this druggie "g", Franky Mata. Petey became a "g", and well was very calm about everything, or sounded calm about everything. And started showing love towards me. "Petey?" I whispered, and he heard. "Ivy?" He gave me a hug. He was a stick but weared baggy clothes. "What are you doing here?" I asked. "Nothing me and Peter are going to Franky's house to chill and smoke some." I turned and saw Peter V. spit. "Whats up Peter?" I aksed. "Ke onda Ivy?" Peter V. was a real smart kid too, until he met some druggie. If you look it in a way the gangsters were all once real good smart kid until they met someone messed up. And they still are, you just decided to see the bad side. I wasnt into weed, or whatever they did, but they are really good people. They still talk smart, they still show that they love, truely. Petey grew apart from our family because they judge him, I mean it is wrong what he does, but dont judge the boy. So he made his own family including me and Steve, my oldest brother. After talking to them I left Petey, and Peter and went inside. The game was almost done so I drank water, and thought about Petey. Should I be worry? Na. I stood in the enterance of the gym, and they guys went to drink water so they past me. "Move, Ivy." Fishy shoved me. "Ugh, Fucker!" And Joe laughed. I turned in time for him just to past me, "I wanna kiss you." He whispered to my ear. I smiled and turn my head to the front just in time to see Eddie confused. Then he made like 20 faces until he realized what was going on, and he smiled, and laughed. "Oh awwww." He said sarcastically funny. "Eddie go 'showoff' to Luis and Homer." And he made this funny undescribeable face, and I loved it and laughed. CHAPTER 4: THE BREAKUP We were watching a movie and I was talking to Jose, until Alondra came. "Hey Ivy whats going on between you and Ivan?" "Uhm what are you talking about?" She asked. "He says that you have been ignoring him and shit." She said convinced. I couldnt lie. "Alondra.. I cant do this no more. I like somebody else and well to be honest its going good. Im going to end it." Jose looked at me suprised, but didnt want to know anything about it. Cindy overheard. "What your gonna break up with him?" "Yes m'am thats my plan." "Aww dont." she insisted. "Ya Cindy let the girl do what she wants do do, as long as I'm there." Cassie smiled. Cindy laughed. "Me too!" It was lunch and I was with Alondra, Cindy, Cassie and Anna. And Ivan was with this guy David, and this other kid, that just kept staring. "Your wanna break up with him?" Anna asked. "Yes! Thats what I fucking told you!" Cindy said. "Ah! okay!" Cindy stared back and screamed "IVAN COME BE WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND!!" "Cindy!" I said. "What? You're going to see you guys are cute for each other." Damn! Ivan came and held my hand and my waist. I didnt mean to say ugh out loud but I did, and grabbed his hand and led him to somewhere private. "Im-" I started but "Ahy Ivan! I never said hi!" Cindy screamed. He laughed. "Ivan-" I started again. "ANd uhm Anna didnt say hi neither!" Cindy sreamed again, and Ivan waved hi. "Cindy!" I screamed. "Ivan its over." His smile faded, and he hugged me as he walked away. Its not like he was in love with me. Alondra, and Cindy followed him. "SO you broke up with him?" Anna said. "Yes I did." She nodded her head. When we went to class Cindy, and Alondra was whispering. Then finally they told me what was on their mind. "Dude you shouldve heard what Ivan said." They said seriously. "What?" Which what he said wasnt really bad. "He said he hates being fucked with like a toy." "Okaaay and..?" I replied. I mean Ivan shouldnt be that mad, he wasnt in love with me, so why care? CHAPTER 5: THE BET This Spurs league has began at the rec, and wow there were some hot guys. "Damn he's hot." I said. Joe turned and a guy in red walked in with shirt golden hair, and was tall. He was playing no doubt. "He probaby sucks." Joe said in disgust. "Aww Joe you're jealous!!" I said suprised not knowing this about him. "Well, duh Ivy! I like you and you go dammmn all over him. I mean hes not even 'hot'. And he might suck at this, you never know!" Joe said real fast, and that made me giggle. So me and Joe looked at this random dude, and he made a 3 pointer. I smiled at Joe and he said "Whatever! He's still not 'hot'." "Mmmm you're right, he's yummy." I said teasing him, but all he did was nod and stare. Then he had this expression, like he had a good idea. And I just had to hear! "What" Why are you smiling like that?" I asked. "Let's make a bet." I smiled, "Okay, if I win.... I get reese's pieces." I know that sounds fat and everything but I didnt want to admit, I wanted a kiss. "Okay and if I win..," He stoped, and stared at Ruben. "What? Why are you staring at?" Ruben asked. "Go away." He said with a little shove. "No say it Joe." Ruben said calmly getting closer shoving him back. "Dude leave me alone! Give me space! You're always with me!" Which that was true, Ruben was always with him. Ha like Dr. Evil and the mini in Autin Powers!! They looked so alike, except Rubens like 8. "NO!" Ruben lost patience. "Damn Ruben! GO with Fishy." Fishy was listenin to the whole conversation, espically this part. "NOOO!! HES GONNA EAT ME!" I cracked up, Fishy giggled, and Joe smiled. Publication Date: June 30th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-christoferdrew13

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-tatianna-staton-the-heart-wants-what-it-wants/

Tatianna Staton The Heart Wants What it Wants BookRix GmbH & Co. KG 81371 Munich Callie       “Now we’ve gone over this everyday this week, and now its Friday and no one can tell me the theme of this story?” I sigh rolling my eyes at my English teacher Mr. Springer as he was giving the whole class another lecture. We had just finished reading Romeo and Juliet and we were going over it now as a class but no one wanted to answer him or his questions. “Callie, I know you know it” I look up at him from my journal, he was always calling me out “sure, the theme describes the battle of love and hate, in which battle love is victorious” Mr. Springer smiles and claps “thank you.” I smirk giving him the thumbs up “sexy and smart, my kind of girl” a guy named Todd says from behind me. “Chill out man” my ex-boyfriend Caleb says standing up I make a face at him “sit down Mr. Hernandez” Mr. Springer says looking away from the smart board he was writing on. “She isnt anything to fight over anyways” my nemesis Taylor says rubbing Caleb’s shoulder as he sits back down. “You’re a smart girl, got to be with that big ass head, so I suggest you shut your mouth, before I do it for you” she holds her hands up with a smirk. “Okay, okay, settle down, you do have homework tonight” I tone Mr. Springer out annoyed. Taylor and I have pretty much hated each other ever since we were younger, around the age of 10. At first we were really good friends then one day while we were in my room playing one afternoon she stole my favorite charm bracelet. After that we stopped being friends and have hated each other ever since the incident. She has forever tried to make my life a living hell and more. The bell rings snapping me out my thoughts I pack my things up, as I’m almost out the classroom someone comes up behind me and puts their arms around my waist. I instantly knew from the smell of his cologne that it was Caleb “move nigga” I say pushing him off he laughs walking alongside me with a smile on his face. He was still sexy as hell with the most perfect white teeth and the cutest smile but he was also still a cheater and thats what made him unattractive to me. I’m a junior now, Caleb and I dated from 8th grade to the 10th, but we broke up the summer before the 11th grade because he cheated on me with one of his ex-girlfriends. It was only once but it still happened, and I forgave him but there was no chance of us getting back together. Oh, I almost forgot to introduce myself. My name is Callie Montgomery and I’m 16, a junior at Southwest Edgecombe in L.A, California. I’ve lived here all my life with my mom, she and my dad divorced when I was 13, he lives in Miami, Florida with his girlfriend and her 17 year old son. I’m an only child, which I kind of like for the most part, I’m really smart, make all A’s, it’s been that way since I was a kid. I’m very short only 5’0, mixed, curly shoulder length sandy brown hair,, green eyes that I get from my mom, and a sexy figure. “So, how have you been? You don't answer my calls or texts anymore” I shrug as I keep walking to my best friend’s locker to meet him there. “Caleb, I just need more time, I don't really feel like talking to you or messing with you in any type of way, can you just give me my space?” He stops walking and stares at me “really Cal?” “Yes, really Caleb, I’ll talk to you later” and with that I walk off. When I get to my best friend’s locker he’s there talking to another dude and my two girls are there too. My best friend is Zack Jenkins but I call him Zacky Pooh, he’s been my best friend since birth you might as well say. His mom and my mom are best friends they have been since middle school, and he’s the best friend anyone could ever ask for. He’s on the basketball team, one of the best players up there, he and I are only 4 months apart, he’s older. He’s tall, light skinned, curly hair, hazel eyes, his lips are big but very sexy at the same time. I look at him more like a brother than a best friend and its never been anything more than that, surprisingly. My other two girls Jade and Sandy are so freaking crazy. I’ve known them both since elementary school but we’ve been close since like 7th grade, we always have each other’s backs, always there for each other, and I love them to death. They’re both short like me but they are taller than I am by like 2 or 3 inches. Jade has long black hair while Sandy’s is short and brown but they’re both dark skinned and beautiful. “Hey sexy people” I declare walking up to them with a big smile. I’m always happy to see them. “Hey beautiful” Zack says giving me a hug “hey love” Sandy says with a smile Jade just waves because she had gotten on her phone and was talking away. I glance at the sexy dude standing beside Zack who was staring at me “and who is this?” I ask biting my lip and staring at him also. “This” Zack says putting a hand on the guy’s shoulder “is my man Nick Monroe, Nick this is my best friend Callie and check it, he’s even a senior” “Hey, it’s nice to meet you” I say shaking his hand “likewise, I’ve heard a lot about you, what Zack didn't tell me was that you were this gorgeous” he declares kissing my hand making me blush and even giggle a little. “Well thank you” “Oohh I see you trying to kiss up to my girl” Jade says holding the phone away from her ear looking Nick up and down he just chuckles. “Well she’s not ready to date right now my friend” “Shut up” I say hitting Zack in the arm. Nick is so attractive  and so sexy, he’s tall, dark skinned, blue eyes which I had never seen a dark skinned guy like him with. He had muscles that you could see through his shirt, and the way he licked his lips before he smiled was beyond sexy. I sneak beside Nick as we start walking to the cafeteria for lunch. “Those heels are too cute” Sandy tells me looking down at my feet “thank you darling, I got them at that sell you was supposed to go with me to last weekend” she makes a face “I’m sorry again” I make a noise bumping her. “So where are you from?” I ask Nick as the tardy bell rings and we walk into the cafeteria “Indiana, I moved here with my dad, work reasons” “Interesting, how long have you been down here?” He and I walk away from my friends to a table to sit at “two weeks, today is my first day here at the school though” I nod facing him. “Like it so far?” He shrugs and looks in my eyes “I like the people so far, particularly you” I giggle and blush again making him laugh. “I see you’re a blusher, I like that” and that makes me blush once again “yo, I got tickets to go see YMCMB next month in Charlotte” Zack says coming to the table with two bags of chips and two flavored waters in his hand. “How many do you have and how did you get them?” I ask curiously as he hands me one of the waters and chips, he sits on the other side of me. “I got them offline, 6 of them, so all of us and one left over” I drink some of my water as my girls get to the table. “Well thats wassup, but is everyone’s parents gonna let them go?” “I’m guessing yall are talking about that concert to go see YMCMB” Jade replies opening her soda and looking at us “yes ma’am we are” Zack tells her taking his phone out of his pocket. “My parents will be thinking about supervision” Sandy mutters making a face her parents were kind of strict about a lot of things. “Do you think your dad will let you go?” I ask Nick hopefully he shrugs “most likely, but imma still talk to him about it” I nod opening my chips just as Nick takes some chips out of his bag and opens them. “I probably can go, I’ll just get Dre to keep Jaz that weekend” Jade was referring to her baby and baby daddy who was in college already and had his own apartment. Jade had her baby her freshman year in college her daughter, my little God daughter was 2 now. “Well yall ask your parents so we can start planning” Zack declares and then gets on his phone I just roll my eyes at him. “Madre I’m home” I yell setting my purse, backpack, and track/step bag on the floor. I run track and I’m on the step team at my school, track practice is from right after school till 5 and step practice is from 5 till 7:30 so I be exhausted on days when I have practice for both. I walk into the sitting room but my mom wasn't in there “mommy!” I yell again walking into the living room “I’m in the kitchen sweetheart” I hear her yell back, as I’m heading to the kitchen I slip my sneakers off and set them by my bags. “Ma, you didn't hear me--” and I stop mid sentence because sitting to our table with paperwork and my mom was the sexiest black man I’d ever seen. “Ohh, hello” I say quite speechless he smiles at me and stands, so does my mom “Cal this is Namarcus, he works with me, Marc this is my daughter Callie” he shakes my hand “it’s nice to meet you” “Pleasure’s all mine, I can see where you get your beauty from” he declares making me and my mom blush making him laugh. His voice and his laugh was both deep and sexy, if my mom knew like I knew, she’d keep him. He was really tall with a fresh haircut, had on a suit, a diamond stud in each ear, hazel eyes and the sexiest smile. “Um, well, I’ll let you two get back to work, I’m just gonna take a shower, but it was nice meeting you Mr. Marc” “You too” I hurry out of the kitchen giggling the man was too fine and I didn't see a ring on that finger, if I was some years older I’d hop on that. Once in my room I take out my ipod setting it on its adapter and putting it on shuffle, Truffle Butter by Nicki Minaj, Lil Wayne, and Drake comes on. I kinda liked being an only child, I got whatever I wanted whenever I wanted and I could almost do whatever I wanted to. My mom’s a criminal defense lawyer so she gets paid really well, my dad is a doctor so he gets paid well too and he often sends me money. Since Zack is like a brother to me his parents and little sister are like family to me also, he and I have this strong bond that no one can break. Just as I’m about to get in the shower I get a text from Nick saying Clear your day tomorrow, we’re chillin. I chuckle texting back Okay Boss Then we send each other’s addresses to each other. We had just met and I liked him already, maybe we could work something out.     Nick   Callie. Callie. Callie. The only name that runs through my mind, the only face I can see, I had just met this girl and I was sprung already, so sad. I had just texted her telling her that we were gonna hang tomorrow and was even happier when she said okay and gave me her address. “Nick” I hear my dad yell, he must've just got home I sit my laptop down on my bed jumping up and walking out of my room. “Up here” I say looking down from the stairs, he looks up and waves me down. I sigh slowly walking down the stairs, it was just me and my dad now that my mom walked out on us 2 years ago, I was an only child so that was kinda good. My dad’s a lawyer so I pretty much get what I want and our new house is really nice and big. My dad and I actually look alike, we’re both tall and muscular, both have good hair although my dad has a fresh haircut, he keeps cutting it. I liked living with my dad, we got along just fine and he let me do what I wanted as long as it was nothing bad and he wasn't so strict. I walk into the kitchen where my dad was taking off his tie and drinking some juice I sit at the table. “Hey, how was work and where have you been, you should've been home?” He chuckles drinking the rest of his juice and setting the cup in the sink. “Well first of all work was great for the first day, and secondly I'm the dad I question you, but just so you know I went over to a co-worker’s house. She was helping me with some paperwork” I raise my eyebrows “she?” He nods leaning against the countertop, my dad didn't date much, he said he was too focused on me and his work. “Is she pretty?” He smirks crossing his arms and looking away from me “absolutely beautiful, but I try not to mix business with pleasure” I roll my eyes “oh come on dad” he sits in front of me. “Anyways, how was your first day at the school?” He loved doing that, changing the subject when we talked about him dating again “it was good, made some new friends” “Thats good, meet any cute girls?” I chuckle glancing at him “plenty of cute girls, but I met this one gorgeous girl today, she’s awesome” my dad smiles raising his eyebrows. “Ooohh okay, well are you thinking about getting with her?” “Dad I just got here, but yeah soon” he laughs his deep laugh that we had alike “you do that then” he declares getting up and heading out of the kitchen pulling on my dreads as he heads out. “Ouch fathead” Callie says giggling as we’re walking around in the wall I laugh pinching her bare stomach again and this time she leans toward me biting my cheek. We both crack up when she does that, “you’re a biter huh?” I ask grabbing her hand and holding it in mine, she doesn't pull away either “yes sir” I just chuckle. She had on a flowery half shirt, some jean high waist shorts, and some pink sandals, her hair was up in a bun and she had on some red lipstick. She was looking sexy as hell, I on the other hand had on some khaki shorts, a white tee, and my white and blue Legend Blue Jordan sneakers. My dreads were pulled into a ponytail, Cal oftenly pulled on them, she said she loved my dreads. “Let’s go get some ice cream” she suggests pulling on my hand and arm “aight” I say as we head to the ice cream shop that was located in the mall. I really liked her, she was sweet, funny, easygoing, and she had a banging body, and her whole personality was just loveable. “So, you live with your dad?” She asks once we get our ice cream and we’re sitting down at a table, I nod licking my spoon “yeah, my mom walked out on us about 2 years ago, so it’s just us.” She nods eating some of her ice cream “what about you?” “Well my parents divorced when I was 13 and I wanted to stay with my mom so I did and my dad moved to Florida, I’m guessing you’re an only child” I smile at her “yes ma’am I am, you?” “Yes sir I am” I chuckle she just smiles. “Taste this” she says putting some ice cream on her spoon and putting it in my face I make a face “nope” she laughs “please” “It’s call triple nipple fudge, that can't be good” she laughs rolling her eyes “just try it.” I let her feed me the ice cream, it actually was good “see, I told you it was good” “Yeah yeah, your turn” I reply putting some ice cream on my spoon and feeding it to her “mmm, thats good, give me some more” I laugh shaking my head. “No my sista, you gots to get yo own” she cracks up at that “you’re so silly” I laugh then “I know” I put some more on my spoon feeding it to her. I loved her laugh, I loved making her smile and blush, every little thing she did made me like her even more. “Were you upset that you had to move away your senior year?” She asks crossing her legs I shrug “yeah I was, but my dad got a new job offer, the one he’s always wanted so I didn't make a big deal out of it.” She stares at me for a while which makes me blush and that makes her laugh “ooh I got you to blush” “Better cherish that one” she laughs again sitting up “that was really sweet of you, to not make a big deal out of moving” he nods putting his hand over mine on the table. “Because I’m a sweet guy Ms. Callie Cal” she smiles interlocking our fingers, this girl was really doing something to me. “Man you cheated” Zack mumbles as we’re playing videogames the next day at his house. I laugh rolling my eyes “sure I did” “You did, let’s take a break cause a nigga is hungry” we walk out of his room downstairs to the kitchen. His house was really nice and his parents were too, he was a cool guy also, I sit to the table as he pulls two sodas out of the refrigerator and then walks into the pantry. “So, you like my girl Cal huh?” Just the mention of her name makes me smile “yeah, we hung out yesterday” he comes back to the table with chips then goes to the freezer and takes out some pizza rolls. “Oh forreal?” “Yeah, she didn't tell you?” he takes out a plate and sets some pizza rolls on it “nah, imma get her too” I chuckle taking my phone out of my pocket. I had three text messages one from Callie, one from my dad, and one from my best friend Jake, he was back in Indiana but he was gonna come visit for spring break which was coming up soon. I text Callie back first of course, then Jake, then my dad, he just wanted to know when I would be home. Zack comes back to the table with the plate of pizza rolls “she’s incredible isn't she?” He asks glancing at me “heck yeah she is, do you think I can get with her?” “Shit, yeah you can, I talked to her Friday night and last night, you were all she could talk about, was getting on my nerves” I laugh, I loved the fact that Callie talked about me a lot. I open my soda drinking some of it “you know you my boy now and I like you and all, but if you hurt Callie I might have to whoop your ass” now that cracks me up and I look at him but he looked serious. He really did care for Callie, it was sweet “aight man, I understand, but you ain't gotta worry about that, I promise on my life I wont hurt her, besides we arent even together yet” “Hey word, yet, but okay I hear you” he eats a pizza roll. “How long have yall been best friends?” I ask curiously because they seemed to have a strong relationship. “Pretty much all of our lives, my mom and her mom were best friends in high school they still are, they both got pregnant at the same time, we were born 4 months apart. So since they were best friends we grew up as best friends” no wonder they were so close “well dang, thats wassup though” he nods drinking some of his soda. “Okay enough with the wishy washy, ready for me to kick your butt again?” “Bring it on nigga” I say laughing and following him upstairs. Zack   “Zack Charles Lawson” I groan and put my pillow over my head when I hear my mom yelling my name. It was Wednesday and I didn't not feel like going to school, Monday was a bad day, Tuesday was a bad day, so I was not going today. My mom bangs on my door then walks right in “dang ma, I didn't say come in” “I dont give a damn, I pay the bills here, not you, now get your butt up before you be late for school” I take my pillow off my head looking at my mom who was already dressed for work. “I’m not feeling good” she stares at me for while “are you lying to me?” “No ma’am, I’m forreal” she sighs rolling her eyes “okay, you can stay home, but don't tear my house up” I chuckle “no worries.” She walks over to me and kisses my forehead “I’m leaving now, call me if you need me, love you” “Okay I will, love you too” she walks out closing the door behind her. I reach over the side of my bed grabbing my phone off the charger I had 2 missed calls both from my girlfriend Tamia. Then I had three messages from Callie so I hurry up and call her first. “Hello” she says on the second ring “wassup, you good?” I ask as soon as she answers and she was sounding bad. “No, I feel so bad, my stomach hurts, my head is killing me, I'm throwing up” when she says that I hop up out of bed “I’m on my way” “But aren't you heading to school?” I walk into my bathroom turning the shower on “nah, I was staying home anyways, even if I was you know you come before anything.” She sniffles and I hear her blow her nose “look give me 15 minutes and I’ll be there” “Okay” and with that I hang up about to get ready. When I get to Callie’s house I reach under the Welcome Home mat and grab the spare key, unlock the door, and head inside. “Cal” I call running up the stairs “I’m in my room” I hear her call back not very loud though. When I get in her room she’s slipping on her panties “oh my bad” I reply turning around she chuckles “you good” it wasn't like I’d never seen her in just panties and a bra because I have, plenty of times. I’ve even seen her naked “can you do this?” I turn back around, her back was to me, she was referring to her bra “yeah, put it in the last one?” “Yeah” her bra and panties set was cute, it was pink with polka dots on but her panties were actually thongs. “When did you start wearing those?” I ask pointing to her thongs she rolls her eyes grabbing her shirt and slipping it over her head. “Last year” I sit on her bed grabbing the remote control and flipping through the channels as she puts on her shorts then she flops down beside me. “I’m surprised mama didn't stay home with you” I reply with a smirk she laughs “you and me both, why weren't you going to school today?” I sigh looking away from her “just because” “Because what?” I stop flipping through the channels when I Martin pops up “I didn't feel like it today so I just told ma I wasn't feeling good” “Mmhmm” she declares getting off the bed and heading into her bathroom. I knew that she knew I was lying my phone vibrates in my pockets, I pull it out to see its Tamia. “Hello” “Hey boo” “Hey baby” I say running my hand over my face “you at school?” She asks I slip off my shoes getting comfortable on Callie’s pillows “nah, I stayed home today, but right now I’m at Cal’s house, she’s sick” for a while Tamis doesn't say anything. She didn't like Callie too much and Callie didn't like her that much either, even though we’ve been together for a year. Callie walks back in, shuts her door, and turns the light back off, then joins me in the bed “who is that?” She whispers pointing to my phone “Tamia” rolling her eyes she pulls the covers up under her chin and lays down. “I’m gonna be heading home soon though so I’ll call you then, okay?” “Promise?” I smile at my girlfriend’s baby voice “I promise, love you” “Love you more” and with that I hang up. “Still feeling bad?” I ask Callie hitting her leg with mine “yeah” “Have you taken anything for your stomach and head?” I ask reaching over and feeling her forehead, face, and arms to make sure she didn't have a fever “yes I did, but it hasn't kicked in yet, and when I think about it my stomach it’s more like cramps.” Callie and I talked about everyone and everything no matter what it was “you need me to go get you something?” I ask she looks over at me “really?” “Yes really” she bites her lip “I can just ask my mom to get me something before she gets home” “No need, I’ll go get it” I declare already getting up “wait are you sure?” “Yes Callie, you know it’s not a problem” I slip on my sneakers and grab my keys off her dresser. “What kind do you use?” She sits up “tampons, the playtex ones” I nod she reaches over the bed grabbing her purse. “Here you go, it should cost maybe 5 or 6” I laugh rolling my eyes “girl put that up, I’m buying them, I’ll be back” and with that I walk out of the room. Now this was a first, I’d never went out a brought a girl any kind of stuff like this, not even my little sister or girlfriend. Callie is just that special and important to me, I love that girl to death once I get to the store I head to the women’s section. She had said the playtex kind I look around and find them I grab the one that seemed to have more in them, then I go and get her two snicker bars, which is her favorite candy. I then go get a carton of her favorite ice cream and a bad of her favorite chips. As I’m checking out the lady that’s ringing me up smiles at me “for your girlfriend?” “Nah, my best friend” I say taking a 20 dollar bill out of my wallet “lucky girl” she replies handing me the bags “fo sho, have a nice day” then I head out. Callie   “He brought you tampons and your favorite snacks?” Jade asks in disbelief as me, her, and Sandy are out getting mani-pedis that weekend I nod “yeah he did.” They stare at me making me laugh “yall are just made to be together” Sandy replies shaking her head flipping through the magazine in her lap I shrug. “Doubt that, yall know he’s my best friend” “Best friend my ass, ain't no guy gonna go out and buy a girl some tamps and her favorite snacks if he isn't in love with her” I hit her in the head with my magazine “just hush.” She sighs flipping through her magazine “do you have feelings for him?” Sandy asks I sigh shaking my head “he’s like a brother, besides yall know me and Nick got this thing going on” and we do. We’re not quite together yet but we talk “with his sexy self” Jade says shaking her head “I know he’s sexy’ I say laughing. “But what about you and Dre?” I ask her with a smirk “yeah what about yall?” Sandy asks jumping in, Jade looks at us both “what about us?” “You decided to get back with him yet?” She sighs leaning her head back against the seat. “I mean I want to but I don't know” Dre and Jade were together for 1 year but they broke up a while after she had the baby, he helps take care of her though. “Well personally I think you should” Sandy says looking at her “I might” I hoped she did. “Dear future husband here’s a few things you need to know if you wanna be my one and only all my life” I sing dancing as we drive to Dre’s house to get Jaz. After we got her we were all gonna head to the beach, Nick, Zack, and Tamia were coming along. I love white people music, I mean I am half white and one white singer I love is Meghan Trainor and her latest album is off the chain. “Can you turn?” Jade asks making a face at me “ugh” I turn the song to I don't Mind by Usher and Juicy J “aye” they says getting hype and we all start singing along. “Shawty I don't mind, if you dance on a pole, that don't make you a hoe. Shawty I don't, mind, it you’re working till 3, if you leavin with me gone get that money, money, money.” We were listening to music from my phone and the radio was turned all the way up, me and my girls always turned up when we got together. As we’re pulling up to Dre’s house we see him and Jaz playing catch in the yard “aww, look at that” I say hitting Jade she just rolls her eyes getting out, Sandy and I follow. “Hey yall” “Hey ladies” Dre says looking at Jade “hey mommy” Jaz says running into Jade’s arms kissing her cheek “hey mamacita” then she pulls away and runs to me. “Hey love bug” I say picking her up and giving her a hug “I see you rocking the outfit I bought you” I reply tickling her making her laugh. Sandy steals Jaz from me and starts spinning her around making her laugh uncontrollably “so, Dre are you going to the beach with us?” I ask not looking at Jade he chuckles crossing his arms “ah, I’ll pass” “Pwease go with us daddy, it be fun” Jaz says smiling at him from where she’s standing with Sandy. Dre is actually cute, he’s light skinned, got a fade, brown eyes, he’s tall, funny, easygoing, really coool, a gentleman, and he was the only guy that Jade dated that I liked. “Yeah, why don't you tag along, it’ll be fun” I was surprised when Jade said that I could tell by the look on his face he was too. “Well alright then, just let me change into some different shorts” Jaz claps her hands and starts jumping around. She really did love her daddy and he loved her too, and if Jade would stop being so mean and a butt they could actually be a beautiful happy family.     Dre drove his car to the beach, Jade and Jaz rode with him so it was just Sandy and I in my car. Sandy didn't date much, I’m not really sure why though. “Are the guys and Tamia already here?” Sandy asks once we get parked “yeah, Zack said they’re where we was last time” Dre parks beside me and we walk together with Jaz singing the whole time, she looked alot like Dre. She was light like him, had his brown eyes, his mouth and nose, she had good hair like Jade though. I slip my flip flops off once we get on the beach and on the sand “oh Dre how is school going?” “It’s going good, how’s that sexy mom of yours doing?” Sandy and Jade laugh I roll my eyes “end of conversation” and then he laughs. When he and Jade were going together he always claimed to have a crush on my mom, he even told her once, she just laughed. “Zacky” Jaz screams pointing to where Zack, Nick, Tamia, and some other guy was standing Zack looks around hearing his name then spots us. “That girl has got some lungs” Sandy says with a smile as we walk to them, Zack meets us halfway “hey yall, wassup stranger” he replies giving Dre some dap then picks Jaz up giving her a hug. We all used to hang out together, did everything together, we still do just not with Dre anymore. “Be nice” Zack whispers in my ear giving me a hug at the same time, he was talking about Tamia, “aren't I always?” I ask giving him a big hug then walking over to where Nick was standing looking sexy. He didn't have on anything but some shorts “hey handsome” “Hey beautiful” he declares giving me a little peck on the lips and hugging me around my waist. “Cal this is my best friend Jake, Jake this is Callie” he smiles at me shaking my hand “it’s nice to finally meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you” “All good stuff I hope” he chuckles nodding his head “of course.” Jake’s cute, he’s mixed, baby hair that went into his face, I remember him tellling me about Jake and that he would be coming to visit, I didnt know he'd be here so soon. "That's Jade's little girl?" Nick asks me as he pulls my shirt over my head revealing the top part of my two piece "yeah, that's her" "She's pretty" I nod slipping my shorts off and laying it on top of my bag my bathing suit was pink with white polka dots on it "sexy" Nick whispers pulling me to him biting my ear I giggle wrapping my arms around his neck. "Dont mean to break up this private session. but I'm gonna go surfing, you coming?" Jake asks Nick holding up their surf boards he glances at me. I laugh "go ahead" he smiles gives me one last kiss then jogs away with Jake and their surfing boards. "Who's the sexy new guy, can you do my back?" Sandy asks walking over to me rubbing sun tan lotion on her arms "Nick's best friend, name is Jake" she hands me the sun tan lotion I slather some into my hands then on her back. "Maybe I should get that number before he leaves" I laugh at my girl "maybe you should" I tell her handing the lotion back "right" then she walks off with a smile I dig in my bag taking out my own sun tan lotion. "Want some help?" Zack asks as he walks to me "sure thing" I put some in my hand then gives the bottle to him so he can do my back. "So, you and Nick?" "Just talk right now" I answer slathering the lotion on my arms and stomach taking the bottle back from him. "Oh okay, I hear you" I put some more lotion on my hands then start rubbing it on my legs "you know I'd tell you if we were together, I tell you everything" he grunts I just roll my eyes. "Well, well, well, look who we have here girls" I look away from Zack to look behind myself seeing Taylor and her two side kicks Logan and Jesse "yes look, take a picture" Taylor chuckles "no thanks, you're certainly not that pretty" "Then get the fuck away from me" I argue standing up and facing her, she was always trying me and my girls but we always kept our cool, I dont know how much longer I can keep doing that though. "Oooh someone is getting defensive" Logan coos crossing her arms as I move closer to them ready to attack Zack pulls me back into his body by the waist. "They're not worth it K" "Actually it's the other way around, let's go girls" Taylor glares marching off with her chicken heads following. "Why do you always let her get to you?" I shrug sitting back on the sand "I dont understand shrugs" he answers sitting back beside me "she just pisses me off man, like she just makes me want to bust her wide open" when I say that he just chuckles Publisher: BookRix GmbH & Co. KG Implerstraße 24 81371 Munich Germany Publication Date: August 13th 2016 https://www.bookrix.com/-fo9183ab2b2ee45 ISBN: 978-3-7368-8088-7

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-sarah-my-baby-girl/

Sarah M. My Baby Girl My 15 Word Story My Baby Girl I thought she was sleeping. I walked in to say goodnight. She was ice cold. Publication Date: March 22nd 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-zxsarah

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-millimay-skys-man-i-love-college/

Millimay skys Man I Love College One-picture-Allison I sat in the deans office not a hint of fear.I saw his glass pot full of hershey kisses.I leaned back in my chair to see if anyone was coming.I stole 3 of them and put them in my bag.The door shut and I jumped.The dean sat and let out some breathe. "Allison whats going on?"He asked. "Nothing Mr.Jeffery."I said flatly. He got up and walked around the room for a minute. "Ally this is a school that."I cut him off. "That is high class and only the best of the best get in here.I know...."I said. "I know you can do better.The only thing that is keeping you here is mine and your father's friendship.Don't disappoint your father."He said. I nodded and left.I was slammed into the wall roughly.I smiled when I looked up into Collin's piercing green eyes. "Hey I just picked up.My dorm?"He smiled. "Mmm....I don't know if I want to do this anymore."I smerked. "Yes you do."He whispered in my ear. I bit my lip and pinched his sides. "Tonight."I said. He grinned and nodded.He kissed my neck down to my chest. "Okay go."I laughed. He smacked my ass and winked.I rolled my eyes and passed by the food court while I walked to my dorm.I unlocked the door and walked in. "Hey."My roomate Gina said. "Got you some chips."I said and threw them at her. She caught them and thanked me.She tossed them under her bed.She gets everyone to get her chips and she puts them under her bed for later.I took a shower and did my makeup. "Okay how do I look?"I asked coming out of our bathroom. "Hot.Another party?"She asked. I nodded.Gina wasn't a nerd or anything.I get this vibe from her that shes scared to do drugs or do anything bad. "Get up."I said. "Why?"She asked. "Cause your coming with me."I said grabbing her hand. "Uh no I'm not."She said halfway out the door. "Just come with me to this one party.Its not even like a party."I said. She stared at me. "Come on your like my best friend."I said. "Fine just for a little while."She said. I dragged her down the halls.I knocked on Collin's door.It cracked open.Collin's roomate Zach peeked out. "Oh hey Ally."He smiled. "Hey this is Gina."I said. He looked her up and down and then nodded.We squeezed in.The only light was a black light.The room was cloudy from the weed.I asked Zach where was Collin.He pointed to the bathroom.I grabbed Gina's hand and lead her to the bathroom.Collin was doing lines with two other girls and another guy.He looked up and saw me.He grinned and hugged me tight. "This is Gina."I said over the music. He nodded and hugged her too.He motioned for us to follow him.We followed him into his room.Collin's parents were rich so they payed for the best room here.He closed the door and locked it.The music was low now. "I saved one for you.If I knew you were bringing a friend I would have put another line down."He chuckled. "Nah I'm good anyways."Gina said. "Okay thats cool."He smiled. "Oh nice and fat.Just the way I like em."I smiled. He smerked and handed me a 100 dollar bill.I rolled it into a perfect tube shape.Gina sat on the bed.I snorted all of it in one sniff. "Thats my girl."Collin said. He did his and then grabbed a baggy full of weed.He rolled a joint and light it. "Ally...."Gina whispered. "What."I whispered. "I don't think I want to be here anymore."She whispered. "Okay we'll leave soon.After this blunt."I said. Collin handed it to me and I hit it. "Give it to little girl."He said nodding towards Gina. "I'm good."She said. "Wow a virgin."He said taking the blunt from me. "Excuse me."She said. Well honey honestly why did you come here if you don't drink,smoke,or do lines.He said. "Fine.Give me it."She said. I shot her a look. "Really?"He asked. She nodded.He handed it to her and she hit it.She coughed alot the first hit and then took another.I hugged her tight after. "Soon enough you'll be one of us."I laughed. She laughed too.Me and her finished the blunt. "Alright I think we're gunna go."I said standing up. Gina pulled me back down. "We're staying."She said. "Yeah little girl wants to stay and party."Collin said. "Yeah what he said."She giggled. "Come on little girl."He said pulling her up. "Where we going?"She asked. "To dance."He said. I followed them into the front and watched them dance.I could tell Collin was just as shocked as I was to see that Gina danced pretty good.Suddently everything started slowing down.I started to shake.I started dancing with them. "Here grind on each other."He said. My head was swirling.I started sweating really bad.This didn't feel like cocaine.Suddently Gina became really pretty and irrisible.I found myself in back of her with my arm around her grinding.She turned and grabbed my shoulder.I grabbed her waist and we were just moving our hips.I saw Collin watching us.His eyes real low and biting his lip.He walked over and pulled us both close to his sides. "What do you say we have a personal party."He said. He lead us to his room and locked it.Gina danced on a desk he had.He grabbed me by my throat and slammed me against the wall.He kissed me hard and our tongues wrestled.He trailed kisses down my neck. "Get over."He said to Gina. She came over.She was drunk by now and high.He held me against the wall and kissed her softly then roughly.He put her against the wall next to me.He played with her hair and ran his thumb over my lips. "God damn you guys are sexy."He whispered. We giggled.He grabbed us both by the back of our necks and made us kiss.I pulled on her black hair as our tongues wrestled.Collin kissed her neck as he felt her up. Publication Date: March 3rd 2014 https://www.bookrix.com/-aj362face961925

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-elaina-h-revolutionary/

Elaina H Revolutionary Dedicated to Lia because I love you. Revolutionary Prologue               “Soldier, I’m going to ask you once more. Where did you place the stolen firearms? We know it was you, no use denying it. It’s all on tape.”             Of course, Veronica was bluffing, but nobody besides Derik, her most trusted advisor, knew that. Most importantly, the soldier was unaware.             “I…I can’t tell you!” Sweat glistened on the soldier’s brow, and a hint of a smile played on Veronica’s lips. He was about to crack. Soon she would have the information she needed.             “Listen, Carl, I promise you,” Veronica leaned towards him, and was close enough to feel his rotten breath on her face, “I will torture the words out of you if you don’t tell me now. It’s your choice really,” she turned on her heels and walked to the cabinets at the back of the dark cellar.             She slowly dragged the edge of a blade along the tabletop, a large screech echoed through the room; everyone cringed, but not Veronica.             The soldier in the chair took a shaky breath before speaking again, “The guns. I took them because my family needed them! My home,” he immediately notice how those two words made Veronica’s nostrils flare in anger, and he changed them, “The house I once lived in, it’s been repeatedly attacked, and my little brother, he was only ten, was killed in the last raid.”             Veronica clicked her tongue, “Carl, can you answer one question for me? Why did I discontinue the sale of firearms? Huh? Carl, answer.”             “I…I suppose it was because you needed them, ma’am.”             She cocked her head to the left, and ran a hand through her long platinum hair, “Yes, I suppose that is true. But more so, Carl, people, regular people, cannot handle that sort of power. The power to kill. You see, isn’t that what ruined our beloved nation in the first place? The common man having so much power.” Veronica drew the blade across the soldiers upper thigh, and he whimpered, but she didn’t care.             “Who should have the power than? Who does the power belong to, Carl?”             The soldier swallowed hard, and he looked into his ruler’s eyes, “You, my queen.”             “Ah, ah, ah,” Veronica teased, “flattery will get you no where. Don’t you know that silly boy?!” Veronica was growing impatient with her game, and had quickly decided to the end it.             “No matter, I’ll have qualified soldiers retrieve the guns from your family. Of course, I imagine they’ll have to use force…” Veronica let the thought brew in the soldier’s brain for a moment before she spoke. “Don’t worry, Carl, I’ll show you mercy.” The hope that glittered in the soldier’s eyes made Veronica giddy, “I won’t make you watch as your family is beaten.”             A smile spreads across her face, and Veronica pulled the handgun from its holster before neatly placing a bullet in the middle of the soldier’s forehead.   2382 April 10: 1400 hours               “I don’t think you understand, Veronica, the people aren’t happy. I wouldn’t put it past them to do something about it!” Derik slammed his fist on the strategizing table, and Veronica’s heart leapt.             It wasn’t often that Derik got angry. She remembered the last time, and bit her lip. That could not happen again. That situation was entirely out of her control.             This time would be different. She would allow Derik to get angry, but it would be under her terms. She would stop it when ever she wanted.             “Derik, you must be joking! A small group of poor, filthy people trying to beat their way through to our fortress with their own grimy fists? Let’s be serious here, you’ve obviously lost your touch.”             Veronica, played with the pen on the table, and Derik grew angrier. The moment was coming where he would burst, and Veronica knew exactly how to contain the explosion.             “Veronica! I’ve been advising you for two years! Just because you’re nineteen now, doesn’t mean you’re ready to make all the big decisions! You’re just foolish if you think that’s the case.”             She had intended to stop the argument there, but something about his words made her angry too, and she snapped at him, “Oh please, Derik, you’re only twenty-two. You can’t even legally drink alcohol yet!”             “Really? Veronica, you’re turning this into a child’s argument! I find this disagreement quite pointless if you’re only fighting against yourself.”             Somewhere along the way, Derik had kept his head and Veronica had lost hers. She didn’t like the way it made her feel to be so out of control.             So, she did something completely sporadic and unanticipated. She kissed Derik.             Veronica had always known that Derik wanted her, and she assumed he always would. To her, this was simply a game.             Derik kissed her passionately, but Veronica merely did what the game required. Once she thought the kissing time had been sufficient, she pulled away and glanced at the clock.             “I have to get ready for dinner with the General of the West Republic. I imagine it will be a long and boring dinner, but you’re welcome to join us, Derik.” Derik stared at Veronica, and she smiled to herself. He was right where she wanted him.             Derik stuttered, “I…I will…I’ll come.”             She saluted Derik, and left the room.             She had a dinner to prepare for. 2382 April 10: 1600 hours             With the dinner being so late, Veronica had plenty of time to prepare herself for the evening. She decided on her signature color, black, and usual hair style, a high pony placed perfectly centered on her head.             The dress she wore went down to the floor, yet left little to the imagination. A slit cut up the side, and ended abruptly at her upper thigh. I deep plunge in her neckline showed plenty, but she was sure the crusty, old general from the west would wish to see more, as he usually did.             Although Veronica wished anything but to marry the old man, she knew it was necessary for the time being to let him believe he had a chance with her.             Veronica made her way toward the dining room in her bright, blood, red stilettos. The click the shoes made on the cold, tile floor warned her soldiers and guards she was on the move.             The eerie silence that sat like a lurking monster in the hallways made Veronica anxious, and she nearly tripped over her own feet.             What was wrong with her? She never tripped. It felt as though she hadn’t made a mistake in years.             Of course, her father would certainly argue the point saying Veronica hadn’t done a single thing right.             Veronica’s father, General of the Northern Republic, had always been a hard man, and she had always known so. There was only one person The General had ever loved, and she had been her mother.             Her mother had died only a week or so after Veronica was born, and the General had always blamed Veronica. It was hard for Veronica not to blame herself, but she pushed the thought away from her mind.             She needed to focus.             Her father wasn’t here breathing down her neck as he usually was. He had left Veronica in control of The First Territory. She was one of the three Lieutenants in charge.             Lieutenant Darren was in command of The Second Territory, as he had been for ten years. Lieutenant Simon had gained control of The Third Territory only in the last month or so.             Both men were completely foolish, and clearly ruled their Territory with a weak hand.             Veronica knew better, and she proved it too; even if her father didn’t always see it.              Two guards stood on either side of the ten foot steel doors that led to the dining room. Both men bowed slightly in acknowledgment of her status, and opened the doors for her.             Veronica immediately noticed the General of the West. He sat at the far end of the table munching on breadsticks. His large belly pushed against the table, and a small pile of crumbs sat on it.             “General!” Veronica called with a grand flourish. The General looked up, startled, and smiled at her. His grimy teeth were visible from ten feet away, and Veronica felt herself swallow with disgust.             “Lady Veronica O’Neil! How is your father doing?” the General was obviously fishing for important information, but he would find it here. She replied simply, “Fine.”             He nodded his head, and pulled a velvet covered chair out for Veronica. She gave him a smile. The General grinned back, and he hadn’t even notice how fake her’s had been.             “How is the Western Republic, General? I’ve heard rumors or vagrant attacks. Is it true?” Veronica already knew the answer. It was most definitely true, and it was quite obvious he was here to ask for her help since her’s was the nearest Territory beside the Southern Republic, and everyone knew how weak they had become lately.             “Well, it’s sad to say, but the rumors are true. There aren’t too many rebels, but there is more than anyone could have expected. It appears No Man’s Land is no longer empty. The rebels have taken to calling the land their home.” The General wiped his mouth. “I haven’t simply come here on a social call, Lady O’ Neil. I’ve come to ask a favor. I’m in need of help with my Second Territory. My First is helping, but the numbers aren’t enough.             “They come in the night when we’re least expecting it, and they never kill large amounts of men. They’re basically causing ruckus…”             Veronica held up her hand, ending the man’s lecture, “If your problem is annoyance, why do you need be?”             The General licked his lips, “You see, they’ve been revealing things to the public. There hasn’t just been uprising from the rebels, there’s been revolts from the citizens; especially those with less money than most. We’ve also realized that a number of people have dropped off the grid completely. We’ve searched over No Man’s Land repeatedly, and seen nothing. There’s been rumors of impossible things. One person even said they saw their sister brainwashed into leaving.”             Veronica sighed heavily, she knew the General was making up lies to save his own butt. No one wanted to look like an idiot in front of a more powerful empire. Veronica simply asked the General, “Are you trying to tell me your people are running off with the rebels?!” Her anger was evident, and the General cowered. Some General he was, weak.             “Lady, you must understand. The people are hard to control. The riots have gotten out of control, and I’m only asking that you send 500 hundred soldiers to patrol the borders of The Second Territory,” the General’s smile had turned into a frown, and his eyes were darting back and forth across Veronica’s face, searching before the answer before she spoke the words.             She picked up the steak knife from the table, and played with the tip while she spoke, “You expect me to send 500 men to your Territory, and leave mine so unprotected? What do I get out of it? What’s my benefit?” For Veronica, there always had to be something in it for her. It was just a fact.             “What…What do you want?” his fear was evident, and Veronica almost laughed at it. She didn’t, but she almost did.             “I don’t know,” she said carelessly. “What are you going to do with these rebels you capture?” her question had two parts. One, what was this weak general’s plan for getting information, and two, when could she expect to here some information.             He ran his sausage fingers through his graying hair, “I suppose we’ll kill them. On sight, of course.”             This time she couldn’t help it, Veronica laugh out loud, “You’ll kill them, and then ask them question, I suppose?” it was a dumb question, but she knew it would make a point to the general.             “Oh! Oh, I guess, we should ask them for information first.” He looked lost, and Veronica rolled her eyes. She slowly pushed her chair away from the table, and spoke each word with purpose.             “I know what I want. I want the captured rebels brought here. I will make sure I get the information from them one way or another. Do you understand? I will be asking the question.” Veronica was happy with the bargain, and she knew he would accept her. To him this seemed too easy, but what he didn’t realize was how much he was missing. 2082 April 10: 1900 hours             “How are you doing tonight, General?” Derik came through the large doors and smiled. He bowed to both Veronica and the General.             The General was happy now that he had help, and he at his large plate of food with no worries now. “I’m well, Sir Derik Landry.”             “Sorry, I’m late, love,” Derik said as he kissed Veronica on the cheek. She felt bile rise to her mouth at the word love.             She glared at Derik, but he didn’t seem to notice Veronica’s deadly stare. Instead, he simply set his napkin upon his lap, and began sawing into his steak.             The dinner continued with friendly conversation, and Derik kept looking to Veronica for answers as to why the General was so happy.             She supposed she’d have to tell him eventually, but maybe keeping him waiting would be fun.             Veronica patiently waited for the now boring dinner to end. She kept herself occupied by thinking of all things she could possibly do to get the rebels to spill the details of their operations to her. It would be too easy.             The General talked with Derik well into the night, and conversation flowed smoothly without Veronica joining in. When the clock finally struck ten o’clock, Veronica had decided it was an appropriate time to excuse herself from the table.             “Well, I do have to say this has been a lovely evening, General. I’m so glad we could,” she paused and grabbed the word from her brain that bested expressed their situation, “make a deal.”             The General smiled, and wiped his mouth once more before standing and reaching for Veronica’s hand. Reluctantly, she let the General kiss her hand. “It was a pleasure to dine with you this evening, First Lieutenant Veronica O’Niel. Send your father my regards.”             She nodded her head, and dismissed herself from the room without as much as a backwards glance.             Once the large doors shut behind her, Veronica quickly made her way back to her room. She heard Derik call her name, but she pushed that out of her mind. He was much clingier than she had anticipated.             The door to Veronica’s room was opened by a soldier the moment she came into sight. She smiled to herself, she expected nothing less.             Veronica’s room was large. It was the largest bedroom in the compound, and she was pleased with the space she owned. The dark red walls cast an eerie glow on the bedroom, and her large king size bed sat against the far left wall with a light gray blanket tossed over it.             Lamps were placed all over the room, and she had a series of them lined around her desk. Veronica didn’t plan on doing any work tonight at her desk. She didn’t want to do anything, but sleep.             Surely an awful dinner with an equally awful general counted at enough work for the evening? Her father wouldn’t think so, but he wasn’t here right now. The simple thought left Veronica a little more relaxed. Had The General, her father, been here on one of his visits she most likely wouldn’t have been able to sleep.             Veronica was glad she got to sleep in the compound. She didn’t take for granted the pleasures obviously given to her because of her status. She was aware that had she been poor, she would have been left outside the safety of the compound. Where rabid, wild animals roamed and mutated human beings crawled from the radiation.             She had been outside the compound only once. When she turned thirteen, The General thought it important to show her what mankind had done to itself. She remembered his words very clearly as he showed her the horror the world had become. “Those who do not submit to us, Veronica, deserve to rot out here. This is where the deserve to be. It is obvious to us that man needs someone powerful to rule them, someone like us. But they,” he had said the word with complete disgust, “do not understand and they never will. That is why we must be the ones to take charge and to keep control. We will not let the rebels win.”             Veronica had not actually seen a crawling human, but The General had sworn to her that he had. She believed him. She believed him about everything, and she agreed with most everything he said. She would not let the rebels win.             She would prove to The General that she was powerful enough to take control one day. That she was powerful enough to become The General of North.             If only her father would let her.                                       2382 April 13: 800 hours               Kyle spit onto the ground, and cracked his neck. He knew the General of the West would be coming for them after what they had done, but he was sure they would win. Kyle would bet everything he owned on the single fact that his small group of vigilantes was stronger than the Northern, Western, Eastern, and Southern empires combined.             He wasn’t cocky, it was simply a fact he was aware off.             “What’s the next plan of attack, boss? Everybody’s asking when we’re gonna strike next!” Harold, his eager advisor, quipped beside him. Kyle had debated whether or not to appoint a new advisor, but he had decided against it in the end. Harold was loyal and was already used to the job. He didn’t have time to train anybody knew.             So he kept Harold out of a matter of convenience.             “Harold, everyone else does not need to know what going on 24/7. You see we’re on a simply need to know basic with the rest of the group. If we tell them to much, and one of them is captured, what happens?”             Harold looked at the ground, his eyebrows bunched together in confusion. Kyle sighed, “We lose the element of surprise, Harold!”             “Oh.” Harold stated simply before following Kyle around their meager fort.             The fort consisted of four walls that surround a half mile patch of land. There was no roof, no floor, and no electricity, but it kept his people safe from the most forward of attacks.             Besides, the bigger the building, the harder it was for Franklin to hide. With Franklin on Kyle’s mind, he asked Harold how he had been holding up.             “As far as I know Franklin’s kept us hidden for the past 24 hours. There’s been plenty of crew out searching for where we could possibly be hidden, but nothing found us. Which leads me to believe they can’t see us.”             Kyle rolled his eyes at Harold’s obvious statement, “Of course they wouldn’t see us, Harold. That’s kind of what Franklin does,” he said sarcastically.             Kyle didn’t mean to be rude to Harold, but he was stressed. They needed to hurry up, and get a move on with another attack. They had stolen ten people from The Western General’s Second Territory. Of course, Kyle wouldn’t just steal any ten people, he stole the people he needed. The people who would actually be worth something to him.             Most importantly, he gained another healer. He would have been happy with just the healer, but having the other nine was a nice bonus.             Harold cleared his throat, and pulled Kyle from his own thought, “What is it, Harold,” he asked exasperated.             “I was just informed of a fight between Gary and another elemental. It’s in the west block by the elemental housing.” Kyle nodded his head, letting Harold know he was now aware of the situation.             Kyle raced off with Harold at his heels. It was very important that neither Gary nor the other elemental reveal their powers out here in the open. Kyle was unsure about how they would affect Franklin’s shield.             He couldn’t have anybody finding out about the two secrets he kept very well. 1. Their location. 2. The unnatural abilities they had seemed to develop. 2382 April 13: 830 houra             When Kyle pushed through the large group of viewers, he immediately knew something was off.             The sky above the fort was dark grey and swirling. Thunder cracked across the sky, and everyone could feel the electricity in the air. Gary and the other elemental, who he now knew was Carter, we standing not more then two inches apart.             A gust of wind whipped through the fort, and Kyle shaggy black hair was thrown into his eyes. That was it. His people weren’t about fighting each other. This had to stop. Kyle took two more steps forward, and the people around him quieted, all except the two elementals. “What could possibly be so important that you need to reveal our location,” Kyle said as he grinded his teeth.             Gary’s head whipped around, and he faced Kyle. The storm in the sky settled, leaving a foggy haze. “We’ve heard news.”             Kyle narrowed his eyes at them, and glared. What news could they possible have? What news did he not know? “Tell me,” he stated firmly.             Carter stepped forward, and the straight winds died down to a mild breeze. “I’ve heard the Western General had gone to the Lieutenant of the Northern First Territory. Rumor has it she’s planning on sending troops over in exchange for…” Gary rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath before Carter finished, “…the right to interrogate any captured ‘rebels’.”             Kyle nodded his head, “I’m still confused as to why the fight broke out?”             Carter glared at Gary before speaking again, “I just said that if I were in charge here I would send out some men to be captured on purpose. Know what I’m saying? Try to find out some information, and them we’d help them escape in like two weeks.”             “If they’re even alive,” Gary argued. “That would be like sending your own people to their death, Kyle. Besides, we all know your Mother would never go for that!”             Kyle frowned when Gary brought up his mother. Kyle’s mother had been a topic to avoid between him and his dad for the last two years. Kyle’s mother had died when Kyle was eighteen, and thinking of her only made him hurt. So he didn’t. Think of her that is.             “It doesn’t matter,” Kyle finally said. “I’ll bring the idea to my dad, but I actually think it’s not a bad idea, Gary.”             Gary glared at Kyle, “That’s only because you aren’t going to be the one captured. It’ll probably be the weaker ones you send. Can’t risk sending anyone special, can we?”             “Gary!” Kyle snapped. “That’s enough. I’ll talk with my dad tonight. I’ll let you all know the game plan later.” Kyle turned to leave, but stopped at the last minute, “Also, no fighting about topics that aren’t your decision.             At that, Kyle left, closely followed by Harold. “Sir, are you really considering that idea? Does that mean I need to write it down in the book with all the pros and cons? Sir? Sir?” Kyle ignored Harold and stomped away.             He couldn’t believe his own people thought he was so haughty as to leave weak ones out to die! At what point had they lost so much faith in him. Sure, he was young. He knew it was hard for some of the older ones to view him as ‘in charge’, but he had the little help his dad offered.             Besides, Kyle was one of the strongest! They should all look to him with respect. He could protect the whole group of them by himself. He sighed as he thought of what his mother would say.             Kyle knew he shouldn’t look down on any of the people he loved, and he really didn’t do it all that much. Just every once in a while, when his pride was wounded, he’d find himself putting the others down.             He squeezed his eyes shut, and pinched the bridge of his nose. That’s not what a good leader would do, he thought to himself. I guess that’s because I’m not a good leader. Duh.             Kyle tried to laugh, but couldn’t it was just upsetting to think of his failure. If he ever saw his mom again she’d probably tell him to leave her alone. He wasn’t the son she’d raised, and Kyle knew it.             Stopping all thoughts of his mother, Kyle walked towards the small ten by ten bunk room his father and he shared to divulge the new information.    2382 April 13: 1000 hours        “Wait,” William, Kyle’s father, demanded, “you’re trying to tell me you want to send you, and five other men, out onto enemy lines so you can purposely get caught?! Are you crazy, son?”             William scratched his head and stared at his only son. He couldn’t let him go and get himself killed. Kyle licked his lips before speaking, “Dad, you don’t understand. We can get so much information from them. We’ll be taken to the north! Do you know how much we could learn?”             “Do you realize this is a death sentence? I can’t have you running off to get killed. It’s ludicrous.”             William watched as Kyle chose his words carefully, “I know that it seems crazy, but I already have it all planned out. I’ll bring Carlos, Savannah, Travis, Claire, Warren, and myself. Each of us has the perfect ability when it comes to being captured at getting back out. It’s almost like we were made for it!”             Kyle was nervous. The palms of his hands sweated, and he subconsciously rubbed them against his jeans. He watched as his father took a deep breath. “What if none of them want to complete this mission you’ve planned? You can’t force them!”             William knew it wasn’t really a problem for Kyle to get them to agree, but he wouldn’t allow that. Especially not on his own people. Never.             “I know. I know. I haven’t talked to them yet, but I know they’ll go with me. They’re the most loyal out of every one here,” Kyle kicked at the dust on the bunker floor and waited for his father’s response.             A heavy, long sigh escaped William’s lips, “You can ask them. If they all agree, then we will discuss our options. Got it?”             Kyle nodded eagerly, and ran out towards those he planned ask.             William thought about the matter at hand. It was important he give Kyle advice when it came to serious things such as this, but lately William found himself stepping back more and more.             He knew Kyle viewed it as negligence, but really William was trying to prepare Kyle for the time when he would no longer have a father to help him. Unfortunately, that time was fast approaching. William had self-diagnosed himself a couple months ago with cancer. At least he learned something from med school, he thought to himself with a chuckle.             William knew Kyle would be fine without him. He was sure it would be hard, but he’d move past it and deal with it, just like he had with his mother’s death.             Besides, William was ready to go. He was ready to see his sweet, beautiful wife again. 2382 April 13: 1100 hours             Kyle jogged quickly to each of his companions and sister’s houses and told them to meet him at the water well in half and hour. He was eager to tell them his father had approved of the idea. Kyle knew in his heart there would be no problem with this mission. There wasn’t a thing that could possibly go wrong.             The first person to arrive at the water well was Carlos, closely followed by Savannah. After waiting a few minutes for the others they finally showed. Kyle surveyed the power between the six of them.             Carlos was a strong elemental. His specialty was earth and metals. It wouldn’t hurt to have Carlos when you wanted to escape, Kyle thought with a smile. Carlos had only had his abilities for two years and he had already progressed so much. There was no doubt in Kyle’s mind that Carlos would prove to be on of the strongest elementals in the camp.             Savannah was blessed with heightened senses. Her eyesight was better than a hawk, she could hear a needle drop during an explosion, and she had a nose like a dog. Obviously, her hearing would be best for the mission, and Kyle was excited to see her in action. It was rare when any of them got to use their abilities.             Travis’ strength didn’t even compare to anybody else’s. Kyle had seen the kid (Travis was only fifteen) lift two tons of brick over his head when he was only ten. Kyle didn’t care where you were, having Travis on your team was always a bonus.             Claire, the team’s secret weapon, and Kyle’s older sister, could have possibly been their greatest asset. No one was sure exactly what it was Claire did, but almost everyone had witnessed the miracle at the raid. Claire had described the experience like slowing down time. She said it was so easy to pluck the bullets out of the air when they were barely going faster than a snail. Claire said it seemed no one was aware of what was happening until after. Three of their men should have died then, but the bullets never found their mark.             Warren’s ability was the most unstable. Kyle was willing to take a risk though considering the fact. Warren caught glimpses of the future. It wasn’t planned, and it just seemed to happen, but Kyle was hopeful Warren could provide them with information pertaining to the enemy. Even if he couldn’t, Warren was a beast when it came to hand to hand combat. He could handle himself.             It was Claire who spoke first after Kyle explained the plan. “What do you expect me to tell my family, Kyle? I have a one year old child you know!”             Kyle stared at his sister, “Claire, you could possibly be the strongest here! You can’t just back out on this.”             “I’m not backing out if I never joined,” she said with a shake of her head.             Carlos kicked the dirt under his feet, “I’m in, man. I’ve got nothing to lose, and I’m tired of these pushy Northerners controlling the world.”             Kyle nodded and acknowledged Carlos’ speech. He now knew he had Carlos and Savannah because she wouldn’t do anything without him. “Nothing to lose,” Savannah muttered under her breath angrily at Carlos. He just winked at her, and kissed her cheek.             Travis cracked his knuckles, “Yea, I’m in. I just got to ask my ma first. You guys know she’ll want to know all the details before she sends me off.”             Savannah rolled her eyes at Travis, “Something tells me, baby boy,” she teased him, “your ma ain’t going to let you go on this little trip. I wouldn’t if I were her.”             “You’re only three years older than me. I’m surprised your dad even lets you leave the house,” Travis spit in the dirt, and turned away to ignore Savannah.             Warren looked at the ground nervously, “You sure you want me around. I can’t really control my…my ability.”             Kyle patted Warren’s shoulder, “Of course, I want you along!” Sheepishly, Warren shook his head, and agreed to come. Kyle fondly nicknamed him the gentle giant in his head. “Claire, should I assume I’m not going to get an answer from you tonight? Am I going to tell dad everyone’s in except Claire.” It was a low blow, and Kyle knew it. He was aware of how much Claire wanted their father’s praise. Just like she had been aware of how much he longed for their mother’s.             “I’ll talk to Jared about it tonight, but no promises,” Claire spoke. The next part she said to the wind, “I don’t even think you realize, guys, we might never come back.”                                         2382 April 21: 1200 hours               Derik paced his room anxiously. He was waiting for a call from Veronica, but something in his heart told him it would never come. The morning sun cast its rays of light into his room, and Derik closed his blinds. He wasn’t in a happy mood.             He knew today the people of the compound would be celebrating the Easter holiday. Derik was almost positive they had no idea what Easter was even really about. How could they, he thought, they don’t even believe in God anymore.             Suddenly, Derik heard a loud pounding knock on his door, and he eagerly went to open it. Was it sad that he hoped it was Veronica?             Derik had been in love with her for quite some time now. It wasn’t until she kissed him last week before the dinner with the General that he really fell head over heels.             He opened the door, not to the beautiful face of Veronica, but to the head of security, Officer Raven. “What is it, Officer, that could be so important that you must come to my room so early?”             “There’s been a security breach in the compound, Advisor Landry. We went to inform the Lieutenant, but she wasn’t anywhere where we could find her.” Officer Raven’s radio went off, and they both listened as they were notified of a young toddler who had escaped through one of the smaller ‘cracks’ in the compound.             No one had ever gotten out before. 2382 April 21: 900 hours             Lilly laughed as her little brother picked up brightly colored eggs from the grass. She had been instructed by her mother to watch her brother while she went to the store. It wasn’t a difficult job, and it usually proved to be boring, but today she loved watching the chubby toddler prance around her family’s front yard.             The Smith’s yard butted up to the compound’s outer wall. It was her job to clean off the vines growing around the base by their home. Lately, she thought, it just seemed like she couldn’t find the time to do it, well, that and the fact her parents hadn’t asked her to do it in three months.             Lilly stared up at the large, clear, impenetrable box covering the top of the four heavy stone walls. Without the cover, Lilly knew they would all die from the radiation. She laughed at the thought of the rebel makeshift cover.             It must have been a poorly soldiered town if the rebels were able to break through the defenses of the Western city so easily. Lilly’s older brother was a soldier, so Lilly felt she knew enough to determine whether or not a place was safe and guarded properly.             She had lived here her entire life, and not once had something ever bad happened. At least, anything she could remember. Lilly felt completely and utterly safe here at the compound.             Lilly looked away from the smoggy sky to check on her brother, and her breath caught in her throat when she realized her brother was no longer in front of her picking up eggs. “Charlie!” she shouted out in fear. “Oh no!” Lilly ran around her yard, and her neighbors searching and asking about her brother.             Lilly sat crying into her hands, “How could I have screwed up so badly!” A light bulb turned on in Lilly’s head. She’d call the soldiers and ask them. They’d be able to find her brother.             Quickly, Lilly raced down the street towards the nearest soldier. “Officer,” she screamed. She was sure she looked like a crazy sixteen year old girl. “Officer, you must help me find my brother. Please, before my parents get home.” Earnestly, she tugged on his coat jacket, and he looked at her nervously.             “Ma’am, are you sure you’ve looked everywhere? I remember when I was little I used to hide from my older brother all the time.” The soldier glanced around the area looked for anything suspicious. He began to wonder if this girl was sent as a distraction.             Lilly glared at him, “You can’t be serious! He’s barely two years old! I swear I only took my eye off him for a moment. You don’t think someone would have taken him, so you?!” Lilly threw her hands over her mouth and gasped. Her parents would declaim her and she’d have to live as an orphan. “Sir, please,” she cried out, “help me.”             The soldier nodded his head, and radioed for five disposable soldier near 21 Limestone (Lilly’s address). Five minutes later, Lilly lead the soldiers back to her house to start the search there.             All of them searched for half an hour before one of the smaller soldier’s called out. Lilly ran with a smile on her face, and tears in her eyes. “Oh, you’ve found him!” she sobbed. But when Lilly looked over the soldier’s shoulder she didn’t see her brother.             Instead she saw a small whole, big enough for a toddler, chipped into the wall, and hidden beneath the vines. 2382 April 21: 1500 hours             Veronica glared at the soldier in front of her. “Are you asking me to torture a whole entire family?”             The soldier swallowed hard, “Lieutenant, we’re only asking that you interrogate them. Torture would be a last resort. Besides, there’s a child. We wouldn’t ask you to torture them.”             Veronica sat staring at the table in front of her. She had just been informed one of her citizens had managed to escape the compound, even if it was a two-year old, her father would not be happy. Tensely, she picked at her finer nails, and worried over The General arrival.             ‘Maybe he won’t come,’ she hoped. Quickly, she pushed away the thought. Of course he’ll come, the minute he hears of this he’ll come, and scream at me. He might even take away my title this time. Veronica cringed at the thought.             “How old is the child?” Veronica asked. “Sixteen,” the soldier replied.             Rolling her eyes, Veronica pinned the soldier with her stare, “Sixteen is hardly a child, soldier. You were probably no older than that when you joined the army, hmm?” she said             Slowly, the soldier agreed, and motioned for Veronica to open the door to the interrogation room. Veronica rolled her eyes at the skittish soldier, and she walked into the small steel room. "Tell me what's happened." This was not a question, it was a demand. Veronica pulled the chair in front of her out of the way and stepped forward menacingly. The girl with blonde hair and blue eyes, who must have been the “child” the soldier referred to earlier, shuddered.             Veronica stared at the girl, and the girl didn’t hold her eyes. “You, girl, what is your name?” Veronica asked the question not because she cared, but she was trying to get the girl to talk.             “Lilly,” she shuddered after she spoke, and nervously looked towards her parents.             Veronica pulled her platinum hair over her shoulder, and sat down in the chair she had just moved. Veronica never sat during interrogations, but something about this one made her think she’d get further by being nice to the young women. “Why don’t you tell me what happened earlier.” It was a command, not a question, and the girl opened her mouth and proceeded to talk.             “My little brother, Charlie, he’s only two. I was…” the girl hiccups and her mother glared down at her. The girl’s father rubbed little circles on his wife’s back. “I was,” she continues, “watching Charlie pick up Easter eggs, and he was just running around the yard laughing, as usual. I lain down for two seconds,” Lilly stresses the shortness of the time, “and looked at the sky. When I went to make sure Charlie was still running around, he was gone. Vanished!”             Veronica clicks her tongue in the silence, and the mother jumps. “How do you know your brother left the compound? He could have been stolen or killed?” These words made Lilly’s mother cry out, and tears poured down her cheeks.             Lilly nods, “Outside the hole, there were three eggs and his little hat. He must have wandered out. There’s no other explanation because of the eggs.”             Lilly had calmed down, and she had her fingers crossed beneath the table. She prayed the Lieutenant would be able to save her brother.             When Veronica finally spoke, everyone flinched, “I’m sorry for your loss, we’ll send you condolence money, and we will patch that hole up as soon as possible.” Veronica stood and exited the room.             She wasn’t going to do anything. That much was clear. The Lieutenant was a coward.             Lilly stared after the Lieutenant with burning hate. Lilly would have to be the one to save her brother, there was no other option.             Veronica walked out of the room and sighed heavily. “Send the Pierce’s one thousand dollars as a condolence for their loss, and make sure you send guards out as soon as possible to get that hole patched up.” She almost added something about her father showing up soon, but decided against it.             She was still hoping that The General hadn’t found out about any of this. There was a slim chance, but she was definitely hoping. There was nothing else she could do.             Veronica looked up as she heard loud, urgent footfalls running towards her, “Madam Lieutenant, we have been contacted by the General of the West. He wanted to inform you that he has seen small rebel activity, and he plans to have one captured and sent to you within the month.”             She rolled her eyes, not at the soldier, but at the General. He was an idiot. Of course she expected news by the end of the month, if she hadn’t she would have sent more troops to take care of the problem herself. “Soldier,” she said quickly, “how long before the troops are sent out to the West?”             “Three days, ma’am. We are sending three hundred men, which leaves us with seven hundred army men at the compound. Do you wish to change the leaving date?”             Veronica tapped her foot against the concrete floors of The Compound. “I’m not sure yet. I need to talk with Derik, but I will send word whether or not you need to dispatch the men earlier.”             The soldier nodded and took his leave. Veronica continued on, now she needed to contact Derik. It might be in their best interest to send the men out earlier.             If she could just capture one rebel she could torture anything out of them. She was certain in her abilities. All she needed now was a rebel.             Unfortunately, Veronica had to be patient, and she was never good at being patient. 2382 April 22: 600 hours             Soldier Thompson stood in perfect formation along with the other two hundred and ninety-nine troops.             He was nervous. This was his first month as troop, and he’s already been flogged once for being late. Things were not looking up for him.             The Sergeant already hated him and repeatedly humiliated him in front of the other men.             He wasn’t the youngest soldier going to the West, that was Soldier Phillip who just turned fifteen, but Soldier Thompson was still young. He had just turned seventeen last week.              The Sergeant walked down the lines of men, and yelled at each one for whatever it was he was doing wrong. Thompson became more and more nervous as the Sergeant came closer and closer to him.             Finally, when he stood in front of Thompson, he was ready to be yelled at, instead he simply shook his head and said, “Perfect formation, Soldier Thompson. Good work.”             Thompson looked after the Sergeant in surprise. For the first time since he’s become a soldier he was praised. Pride swelled in Soldier Thompson’s chest, and it stayed that way the rest of the day.                           2382 April 21: 2200 hours               Kyle frowned at his father’s sleeping form.             Ever since his mother had died, his father hadn’t care very much anymore. Kyle felt that he’d been running this show for the past five years, at least.             With a sigh, Kyle headed towards his bed and picked up an old, worn book Claire had given him. He’s already read Romeo and Juliet five times, but it was the only reading material he had. Most of the kids in the camp couldn’t even read, he and his sister were some of the lucky ones whose parents were nice enough to teach them.             He still remembers those nights when his mother would curl up in bed with him and slowly but surely teach him how to read. Those are some of his favorite memories of his mother.             Kyle rubbed his eyes, trying to push away the memories of his mother that always make him weak. Right now he needs to be strong.             He already had Carlos, Savannah, Travis, and Warrens agreements, but he was waiting on Claire’s. The chances of her going if she asked her husband, Jared, were slim to none. Ever since she married Jared and they had their little girl Carrie, Claire hadn’t done anything but stay at home and do housework.             Kyle thought back to his conversation earlier and grimaced. He sure hoped Travis’ mother would let him go. He was almost sure she would, but there was still doubt. Kyle knew Travis was planning on going, but it wasn’t really his decision to make.             Kyle thought about when they’d be leaving for this mission and decided the sooner the better. He had chosen to leave in three weeks, but the chances of the time moving up were high. Kyle wasn’t one to procrastinate.             “Kyle!” he heard his father yell. “You back? Is that you?”             Kyle groaned, “Yea, I’m here. Need something to drink?” His father muttered something and finally a sleepy yes made its way towards Kyle’s ears.             Alrighty, he thought to himself as he poured some water into a pot and began to boil it over the fire in fire pit. Once the water had boiled, Kyle put it into a glass and let it cool for ten minutes; cold water was only available in the winter when you could set it out long enough for it to get pretty cold. Otherwise, it was warm water.             “Here you go,” Kyle handed the glass over and watched as his father greedily drank it.             “Thanks, Kyle,” he mumbled before going back to sleep.             His father was a smart man, and had tons of strategic ideas floating around in his head, but he rarely put them to use. Lately, he’s only been playing the safe ideas. It had taken everything and then some to convince his father to let the camp raid the West. They’d planted ideas and even had Jonathan influence a couple people.             Kyle didn’t like the word brainwash; it made the act seem a lot harsher.             Kyle went back to bed and lay down; he sure hoped Claire would agree to come. Because Kyle knew if she didn’t they wouldn’t make it out alive.                                2382 April 22: 800 hours             The next morning Kyle went straight to Claire and Jared’s apartment to see what the verdict was. Also, he went because he knew Claire would be making breakfast.             When Kyle got to their apartment, the little room with a door, he didn’t even knock. At this point, he figured he could just walk in.             The moment Kyle entered the house he heard yelling and crying. “Great,” he muttered under his breath. He went to the back of the little apartment, and found his niece, Carrie, crying her eyes out in her crib. “Come on, Carrie.” Kyle hoisted her out of her crib, and balanced her on his hip and he slowly made his way towards the yelling.             “I can’t even believe you’d say that, Jared!” Claire screamed.             “Oh please,” Jared scoffed, “you could not have expected me to say. Oh sure, go ahead, Claire, and get yourself killed! I’ll take care of Carrie and when she’s old enough I’ll tell her how you died!”             Claire gasped and glared at Jared, Kyle watched from behind the corner knowing that his brilliant plan is the cause of this fight. “Ever since we married, Jared,” Claire continues, “I’ve been the perfect wife. I stay pretty safe and I only go when I’m needed. I’ve gone to raids before, why is this any different.” Claire’s voice had taken on a pleading tone and Jared grimaced.             “Claire, you know why. I can protect you on those raids. I’m right there beside you. This, it’s different. the chances of you making it back home are slim. It’s scary. Carrie just turned one. Don’t you want her to remember you?”             Claire nodded her head, and Kyle knows he’s lost. “Yes, but I’m putting the good of the people ahead of the good of our family. I need to do this, Jared. It’s important.”             Jared frowned and looked toward the ceiling, “Kyle, you can come out. I’d like to hold my daughter,” Claire said suddenly.             Kyle cursed under his breath and stepped out of the shadows. “Sorry, I just went and got her and…” Jared and Claire both held up hands to stop him form talking.             He handed Carrie over to his sister, and she kisses her baby on the cheek. “I love you, Carrie,” she whispered. After a few minutes, Claire spoke again. “When are we leaving, Kyle?”             Kyle thought about whether or not he was going to move the date up. No. He’s give his sister plenty of time to say goodbye, “We’ll leave in three weeks.”             He turned on his heel, and rushed out of the apartment and back towards his closest friend’s barrack.               “Carlos!” Kyle shouted into the dark room.             Kyle heard mumbling from the back corner of the room, and he lit the lamp by the front door. “Come on, get up. Claire agreed to go we have to go talk to the other, we have to start planning.”             “Cuando estamos saliendo?” Carlos groggily rubbed his eyes and yawned.             Kyle breathed heavily, “Carlos, English please!”             “Lo siento,” Carlos said this time with a teasing grin on his face, “When are we leaving?” He threw the blankets off of himself, and began lacing up his shoes.             “I told Claire we’d be leaving in three weeks. That should give us plenty of time to pack up supplies and ready ourselves for departure.” To himself, Kyle thought about readying himself to die, but he didn’t say that out loud. He couldn’t have those negative thoughts going into an important mission like this.             Carlos made his bed and began following Kyle out of the barrack, “So, have you told everyone else? And what did Travis’ mother say?”             Kyle’s lips started to turn down, “I haven’t had a chance to talk to Travis’ mother, but I’ve been thinking about it quite a bit. He’s one of the best assets we have, but he’s awful young, Carlos…” Kyle let his sentence drift off, he knew Carlos knew what he was saying.             With a heavy sigh Carlos replied, “You know, if I wanted to go that badly, I’d find a way to make it happen. Ultimately, it’s the kid’s decision. He doesn’t have to go if he doesn’t want to.”             The wind was picking up and it was making the air crisper, and Kyle shiver slightly, “Who do you want to talk to first?” 2382 April 22: 1200 hours             “Are you kidding me!” Warren tried hard to turn the wheel that would flame the fire for the blacksmith, but it wasn’t budging. Great. This is just what he needed.             Warren squatted down and began examining the mechanics of the wheel system, it couldn’t be that difficult.             Sweat ran down Warren’s back and down his temple. This damn room was too hot! How was anyone supposed to focus on their work when it was hot as Hades! Warren angry worked with gears before he heard something click. “This better work,” he muttered to himself.             Warren stood and heaved the wheel into rotation; he felt the gears click and the wheel spin. Amazing. He’s managed to accomplish something important in this good for nothing shop. He released the wheel and it continued to move just as it was supposed to. Maybe he’s get a bonus from Mr. Fairing, probably not, but it never hurt to hope.             The door at the front of the shop smacked open, and a great gust of wind blew through, threatening to put the fire out. Warren held his breath as the strong wind battered the weak fire, but the fire held strong.             The door closed, and he heard light footsteps tread through the shop. “Hello,” an airy feminine voice called out.             Warren stood up straight and tried to wipe the slick, black oil off his hands, “Hi, how may I help you?” he asked.             The girl jumped when she heard his voice, and smiled uncomfortably, “My father sent me down to pick up the daggers he asked to be made.”             “Alrighty, what’s your name?” Warren asked as he walked over to the wall of finished weaponry.             The girl cleared her throat, “Carter.”             Warren paused and gave the girl a curious look, “Why would William Carter need daggers? He has one of the strongest offensive abilities in the camp?” Warren couldn’t possibly come up with an answer to his question, and he patiently waited for the girl to reply.             He voice was nervous and slightly scared, “There for me. I need them.” Warren eyed the girl and marveled at the possibility that one of the strongest men in the camp could have a weak child.             “Do you not have an offensive ability like your father?” Warren was nosy, and he knew it, but there was no shame in simply asking questions.             The girl glared at him and frowned, “It’s none of your business!” she snapped. He held out the four daggers he had made last week to the girl and she snatched them from his rough, calloused hands. “Thank you very much,” she said not quite nicely as she exited the building.             As the door slammed Warren’s thoughts began to turn fuzzy and his head felt full like it was ready to implode. The dizziness hit before Warren could sit down and he collapse to the ground.             The blonde headed woman glared down at Kyle. “You will reveal your location before I’m done with you, rebel.” She pulled a knife from inside her military jacket, and walked slowly towards Kyle. “Are you ready to give your location yet? You still have a chance to cooperate before I damage you face forever.”             A small smile started on Kyle’s lips, “Show me what you got, baby.” The woman sneered and her hand whipped out slashing him across his right cheek.             “The fun has just begun, rebel. Do not think that you will win this game because you will be severely disappointed when the Territories eliminate you and your revolutionary friends as well.” She picked up another weapon from a table to the left of Kyle. It looked like a pen, but at the tip, instead of a point, was a mace like device.             The girl sneered wickedly and shoved the spiky pen into Kyle’s ear canal.             His screams echoed through the metal corridors followed by a malicious laugh that could only be that of his torturer.             Warren pulled out of the vision, and his head began to clear. His breath was quick and ragged. That was there fate. They were destined to fail.             Kyle was the only one in the torture chamber was it right to assume that the others and himself were already dead?             Warren scrambled to his feet and did the only thing he could do. He ran out of the shop. He had to find Kyle.                     2382 May 1: 1300 hours               Veronica wanted to kill something. Anything. She even debated killing the General of the West. He simply had to be kidding. Veronica stared at the rebel the general had sent her.             This man he must have been at least ninety. At least! She breathed deeply through her nose, “Sir, can I ask you one question?” This was pointless, completely and utterly pointless.             “I don’t see why not, although you’re being pretty nice to me. I mean, aren’t ya supposed to be my torturer and all?” the old wizened man chewed on his lip and hacked up a lugie.             Veronica frowned, “Don’t push you luck old man!” she snapped. “Are you ever going to break when I torture you?”             The ancient man laughed wildly, “You sure are a smart one! I’m almost ninety-six years old! I ain’t got a penny to my name and every one I used to car about is waiting for me on the other side. If I told you a single thing I’d be a traitor to the only good people left on this planet.”             Veronica’s head dropped into her hands. This had to be a joke. She’d been so excited when the general had contacted her and informed her that they would be a rebel soon delivered to her. Now, sitting in front of her, she had a pointless old man. “What do you suppose I do with you?” she said slowly.             The man cackled, “Well, I am mighty hungry!” it was at this point when Veronica noticed something. She assumed the man was oblivious to what she was witnessing, but she saw it. How could she not have noticed sooner?!             Beneath the old man’s chair was a layer of ice; about one inch think, and solid. She cleared her through, “I’ve decided you’re useful yet,” she growled.             The man’s smile faded, and he followed Veronica’s eyes to the base of his chair. His eyes widened, and his mouth slacked open. “What???” he said confused.             But Veronica could tell he was lying, it was obvious. He knew exactly what was happening. “Sir, I suggest you explain to me what you just did, or I swear you’ll regret the day the General of West sent you hear.” 2082 April 29: 700 hours             Soldier Thompson stared ahead into the fog. His hands were shaking, and he looked left and right. The fog was so the thick in the West that he couldn’t even see the men next to him. They had received news that there was going to be a rebel attack soon.             His breath was coming out fast and hot, it was causing his air mask to fog up. He was going to have to fix that before the rebels attacked.             Thompson didn’t know how they figured the rebel attack out, but he assumed they had some reasonable way of discovering the information. He readied his weapon for the third time in the last half hour. He’d sworn he’s heard something. Although the chances were high that it was an animal as it had been the last few times.             He lowered his weapon, and raised his hand to rub his eyes. It was then that Thompson heard a loud high pitch shout, and a gun shot shortly followed.             Quickly, he raised his weapon. His eyes searched frantically for the rebels. Sweat and tears began to sting his eyes. He couldn’t die. Not yet!             A figure emerged out of the fog, they held a stick with fire on the end. Were they planning to burn the village down? As the person came closer, Thompson raised his gun, ready to shoot, he noticed that the man wasn’t hold a stick with flame on the end. The man was simply holding the flame.             He couldn’t believe his eyes. His fogged up mask must be messing with his eyesight. How was he supposed to defend himself if he couldn’t see? In a rash decision, Thompson tore his mask from his face and breathed in a lungful of air that didn’t seem much different from what he’d been breathing in the machine.             Soldier Thompson began to shake severely, and he pulled the trigger. His shot went wide and missed the man completely; he heard a deep, throaty laugh erupt from the man before he threw the fire in his palm.             Thompson dove out of the way as quickly as possible, and heard a light snicker from a quiet girl. His eyes followed the small form of what he assumed was a young girl as she pranced through the battle.             When she got close enough and stumbled upon him she stopped, eyes wide. He raised his gun. Could he kill her? She was his age. Could he do it?             The girl’s eyes narrowed and she raised a dagger from beneath her military jacket. She threw the first dagger at a form behind him, and he watched as fifteen year old Soldier Phillip was stabbed directly through the heart.             There was no time to morn because almost instantly she threw another dagger at a second form to his right. Again, the girl threw her dagger, killing the man as his made a loud thud in his chest.             Thompson closed my eyes waiting for the third dagger to make its mark in his heart like she’d done to the others, instead he cried out in pain as the dagger buried itself into his upper thigh. Thompson shouted, and opened his eyes. He stared after the girl as she removed the two daggers from the dead soldiers.             Finally, she leaped over his prone form. He waited for the final blow, but she only quickly removed the dagger from his leg, gave him a brief nod, and darted back into the fog.             Thompson crawled slowly towards a large boulder that he assumed would offer him some protection. He heard cries of pain and screams of despair for the next hour until it slowly stopped. Just when he thought it was all over, a loud piercing screech echoed across the open land.              He threw his hands over his ears and closed his eyes tight. The pain in his thigh was becoming almost unbearable, but he held on. Suddenly, he heard a strange, unfamiliar voice in his head. It simply said these words “You don’t remember.”             Thompson began to feel his memories of the battle leave him, he tried to catch. They couldn’t leave; he had to tell the Lieutenant about this. Surely others had seen it!             Almost as quickly as it had appeared, the voice left. Fortunately for Soldier Thompson they hadn’t taken everything because he could never forget the girl. 2382 May 2: 1800 hours             Derik couldn’t decide between the blue tie and the red tie for dinner. He must have stared at them for half an hour before a soldier came to his room and informed him that dinner was being served in ten minutes, and Lieutenant Veronica expected him there on time.             He cussed under his breath and yanked the red tie from the hanger in the closet. It would have to do.             Quickly, he tied it around his neck, and headed downstairs to the dining room. He imagined they talk strategy and war. What else did they ever talk about? Behind him he heard the steady footsteps of the soldiers who were assigned to be his guard. He wasn’t quite sure what he needed a guard for anyways. What could possibly attack them in these resilient steel walls?             The soldiers standing in front of the grand dining room doors opened them with one swift motion allowing Derik to enter. “Good evening, Lieutenant,” he said with a grand gesture of grabbing her hand and placing a kiss on it.             She frowned slightly, but that was usual for Veronica. She cleared her throat, “Thank you, but we have more important things to do that try and flatter your boss.”             Her tone was crisp, and Derik grimaced. She’s been cold to him since the dinner with the General of the West, and he couldn’t stand it.             “Have a seat, we have much to discuss. First, I’m addressing the fact that the General will most likely arrive at a time when we least expect it. You know how he just loves to do that. And don’t ask, do you really think he’ll come? Because he will. Second, there was a rebel attack in the West like we’d expected, and our men captured a rebel. None of them seem to remember much, only that they were badly beat. Forty-five of our men died and fifty were wounded. They delivered the man to be and it was then that I discovered,” she crinkled her nose and sighed heavily, “that he was a day from dying and I’d get absolutely nothing out of him.” Veronica paused, thinking for a moment. Derik took this small amount of time to speak.             “Did you kill him? There’s no point in keeping him if he’s worthless. We’ll just have to wait for a better rebel. They can’t stay in hiding forever. Oh, by the way, I talked to Carlton,” a confused look passed over her face, “he’s our geography guy, maps out the land outside The Compound. He told me that the only place the rebels could possibly hide this well is underground. He’s requested permission to send out ten Land Rovers with four men each to search for a possible entrance.” Derik watched Veronica’s face as she thought out the request.             She licked her lips, “What happens if all our men are lost? That’s forty men. We’ve almost exhausted our resources as far as soldiers go. None of the boys in the community are old enough yet. We’d limited the number of children families can have to two. We even began enlisting some girls, but they’re not as strong when it comes to combat. Most of the children in this Compound have become lazy with the easy going life-style we’ve provided. It’s getting on my nerves,” Veronica absent mindedly tapped her fingers on the table as she tried to think up a solution to her problem.             “We could set two hours out of every school day towards combat training. Toughen the kids up. I agree, this colony had gotten lazy over the past couple years, but I think it’s going to take a little bit more than that to really get them going,” Derik said as he took a bite of the just delivered broccoli stalk (Animals were sparse after the radioactive material covered the earth. On normal evenings, dinner consisted of vegetables grown in water.).             “That’s not a bad idea. The colonies population was increasing to quickly five years ago, but now there’s been so much of a decrease that I’m thinking abolishing the two kids per family law. It seem pointless with the problems were having now. Of course, it would still take fifteen year to get a soldier out of a child, and we need soldiers now!” her fist collided with table to emphasize her point. “This is my father’s doing. This stupid law, I can’t believe he thought this would be a good idea!”             “Ah, ah, ah,” spoke a voice from the corner of the room, “don’t be too harsh on your father now. You couldn’t possibly understand the seriousness of the situation five years ago.” The General stepped through the doors of the dining room in his gold and silver military suit, and grim smile sat beneath his graying mustache.             Veronica’s eyes went wide, but she quickly hid her shock. Like she had said, at a time when they least expected it. “Hello, General. Would you like something to eat?”             “That would be quite nice, Lieutenant.” He sat down at the table and gestured for a servant to fetch him a meal and a glass of water.             Derik cleared his throat, “You’ll have to excuse the basic meal, we didn’t know we’d be having company.”             The General nodded, “Let’s get to the point. Tell me what happened with the child.”             Veronica nodded slowly and swallowed hard, “There was a report from his sister that he had disappeared while playing outside. Soldiers helped the girl search for him, and that’s when they discovered the hole in the wall. There was evidence outside the hole that the child had in fact traveled outside the Compound. We sealed the hole immediately and sent the family an appropriate sum of money to cover the loss of their son.”             The General cleared his throat, “If you want me to tell you that you did a good job you’re going to have to actually start doing a good job, Veronica!” She flinched, but steadier herself, “I don’t know if you think what you’re doing is a good idea, but it’s not. You need the support of the people to actually do anything. Do you understand that?” The General leaned forward across the table, inches away from Veronica’s face, “You have to make the people feel included. You can’t just be a hard ass all the time. You have to make them feel important, like they’re actually doing something! Are you listening to me?!” His eyes were wild, and during is loud lecture he’s managed to knock a glass of water over.             Veronica licked her lips slowly, “I understand you clearly. I understand what you are saying. I…I…” She stopped talking and glanced over at Derik. “Will you please leave us, Derik? Tell Carlton to dispatch the Land Rovers, but only two men per car. We can’t spare anymore than that.”             Derik, knowing he wasn’t wanted, left the dining hall feeling more confused and annoyed than he had before. He wasn’t quite sure what private matter Veronica had to discuss with The General of the North, but he was sure it wasn’t something Veronica wanted him to witness. But if he had to guess, he imagined that his brave and fearless Lieutenant was seconds away from asking for help.              Text: Elaina H Images: http://www.wallpaperpin.com/wallpaper/1285x787/flames-eyes-fire-red-eye-reflected-desktop-hd-wallpaper-2811.html Editing: Elaina H Translation: none All rights reserved. Publication Date: September 24th 2013 https://www.bookrix.com/-caaa37ad44bd325

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-alysa-taylor-my-best-friend-moved-in-next-door/

Alysa Taylor My best friend moved in next door This is a book about a girl who just moved in next door and falls in love with her best friends boyfriend My Best Friends.... Text: Read and comment please All rights reserved. Publication Date: December 13th 2011 https://www.bookrix.com/-jellykinz34

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-wicked-mist-kayside-high/

Wicked Mist Kayside High To all those who lost someone. Profiling Highschool The things I've whitnessed at this school has been tragic for me to deal with. Seeing my own friend drown in her own tears, brings me no peace. I've seen some of the worst things anyone could ever see. How four students took down half of the school. No one stopped to help or listen for a second. I should've done something about it. I should've helped her. This is not a story telling what others should've done. Its about what the students did. It was our first day of highschool. Julia & I were freshman. Man did it feel good to finally walk the halls with the big kids. Julia was my best friend and always will be. You know, the rebellious, emo chick, who no one wants to be near. She pretended to be a lesbian or a dyke as they called her, so no guys would touch her. Even tho that egged them on more. Lets continue to the next group. The sophomores. Julianne & Juliun Sanchez. Julianne is one of the four, but somehow her twin brother found himself caught in this crossfire, like everyone else. They were separated from birth, when their mother died. Julianne lives with their father while Juliun lives with thier auntie. No one knows why they were separated in the first place, when they both could live with their father or auntie. Either way, these two formed a crew called the "Silent Squad". They don't speak much, obviouslly, but everyone knows not to mess with them. Moving on, we have the Juniors. Kyle Morgan, a dorky, scrawny looking guy, that is always bullied on by basically everyone. Even the other dorks pick on him. He's a loner that typically has major brains and is always the teacher's pet. He has a huge crush on his biology teacher, Miss.Harnwick. Follows her around like a puppy. To our final top group that everyone can't wait to be, Seniors. Danny Sharway, star quaterback with a scholarship headed his way. Everyone knows him. Dreamy, popular, your basic stereotypical character. Always trying to impress everyone and eats up peer pressure. He supposedly gets all of the girls and picks up the freshmens as soon as they walk through the door. All your character's laid out for ya, now I'll take you back to our first day of school. We walked through those doors with confidence. Feeling as if it was our destiny to be there. "Can you believe we're in highschool now!" "I know Jules, its almost like this is a dream." "This is no dream Mel." By the way, my names Melody. Don't blame me, it was my mother, a pianist. "Good, lets check out our new lockers." We ran over to our lockers, observing them as if it was a new car when the "Silent Squad" came through. Their sweatshirts had thier names on it. Julianne had Ja and Juliun had Jun. Three others followed. "What's up with those guys?" "I don't know Jules, but I think we should avoid confrontation with them." "Right. Whoa look. That jock guys checking you out." My eyes met his as he passed through, obeserving the fresh meat. Danny and his boys walked through in a pack like wolves. Looking for the prey they'd later hunt down. "I don't know why he was looking at me, but we both know I'm not in to guys like that." "Of course not, with your long flowing hair, big puppy brown eyes, and shiney pink lip gloss." "Now you're actually starting to sound like a lesbian." (The bell rung) "We should get to class Mel. Wouldn't want to be late now." (We walked through looking at our schedule) "What do we have first (I asked puzzled)." "Looks like we're headed to biology." (The tardy bell rung) "Crap, lets go! I think this is it." We rushed through the door with Miss.Harnwick waiting for us. "Well, I thought I was missing someone. You girls must be freshman?" "Yes mam (I answered nervouslly, looking back at Julia)." "Take a seat please. I asked, because we have a mixture of all levels. Some didn't get this class and others failed. No names will be said." We took a seat near the back. I sat two desk away from Danny. His friend elbowed him in the arm to alert him that I was there. "Isn't that the one you were eye balling Dan?" "Yeah, I was." "You planning on getting at her?" "Soon, just gonna take my time with this one." Kyle busted in the door, with papers flying, his pants untucked and suspenders unhooked. "Sorry Miss.Harnwick, I missed the bus." (Nobody wears suspenders anymore Urkle!) The class laughed, but Miss.Harnwick frowned. "Everyone quiet! Now Mr.Morgan, I'm beginning to think, you're failing this class in order to see me." Kyle blushed. "No mam. I just have trouble with biology, thats all." (Sit down Geek!) "One more outburst from you Mr. and you're going to detention. Well Mr.Morgan, you can take a seat now." "Ok." Kyle sat right in front of her. That desk couldn't be any closer. In the back, the twins sat, crouched down. "Jun, lets ditch this peice. I'm tired of wasting my time when I could be learning more about the streets." "No Ja. We should try to learn as much education as we can. The streets will have to wait." "If you don't, I will." Ja got up from her seat and walked towards the door when Miss.Harnwick turned around. "Excuse me Miss.Sanchez, where do you think you're going?" "I know where I'm going, so you better think about what you say to me." Ja exited the classroom with her brother right behind her. "Anyone else want to leave." (I do) "Well thats too bad. Moving on." The whole time she taught, my mind went in many different directions. Thinking of the present, past, and the future. Sorda planning ahead. Meanwhile, Dan couldn't keep his eyes off me. His eyes wondering, up and down my body. Curious to see what was underneath my clothing. Julia spotted him and turned towards him. She tapped someone on the shoulder in order to get his attention. Whispering "Could you stop undressing my girlfriend pervert or should I say pedifile." A couple of people giggled under thier breath, seeing that a lesbian downsized him. "Could you mind your own business, dyke." She grunted and turned back forward. "Dude, what's that lezbos problem?" Danny stayed staring at me. "I don't know, but in order to get anywhere near Melody, I'd have to get through Julia first." Juliun finally caught up with his sister. "Whats your problem? Why do you gotta be so damn stubborn? You never listen and you don't follow any rules." "Well Juliun, I have no choice. I'm the only income that dad & I recieve and we live in a sh***y place. I'm tryna make it on these streets and if I have to do it alone, I will. (Julianne stopped and turned to Juliun) So. What's it gonna be? Set in a class that teaches you nothing about life or hustle these streets in reality?" Juliun knew the right thing to do, but how could her abandon his only sister. "Fine. Where we going?" "That's more like it. We'll head down to Mike's. Make a few runs." Back in the boys bathroom, Kyle went in to do his business. Little did he know, he wouldn't be able to finish or even start. He looked around to make sure no one was in the bathroom and shut the stall behind him. Before he could unzip his pants completely, the stall door swung open, instantly pushing him towards the toliet, bumping his head against the wall. Triggering a major nose bleed. His zipper got stuck, but luckly it caught his shorts. "Well guys, looks like we have some fresh meat." "Oh please no. Not the first day of school, Chad!" "Whats the matter wimp, don't wanna get your hair wet? Still tryna impress that hot a** teacher. Don't worry, we won't wet your hair. (Kyle sighed in relief) You'll just wet your pants." "What?!" "Get'em guys." They picked Kyle up, carrying him to the gym. "If you scream, we'll turn your insides out." (Kyle gulped, curious to know what was in store for him) They grabbed a pocket knife and cut a hole in the back of his underwear. "What are you guys doing? Please don't!" "Shut up twirp. Knot those tidie widies, Pete." Chad threw the other end across a pole on the ceiling. Chad pulled the once Pete tied the rope through the hole, instantly pulling him upward by his underwear. "Owww! Please, it hurts!" Even though his wedgie was agonizing, he was fearing for his life as he got higher. Chad toyed with him by pulling him high, letting him go and stopping him before he reached the bottom. "Cry little boy! Look at the little pinata swing! Somebody hand me a stick." (He's starting to piss his self)The urine hit the floor, splashing. (Ohh!) They backed up quickly. "You little piss ant. You almost messed up my kicks." Kyle's glasses fell and hit the floor. "Look what we have here guys. The wimps greatest weakness. His dorky glasses." (Kyle let out a undignifying scream) They lowered him back down quickly before someone came. "This isn't over geek." Chad punched him in the eye and one of the guys stepped on his glasses on the way out. Kyle sat there on the floor, crying. The bell was about to ring and before he could look up, he saw feet standing there. Eyes were looking at him. Laughter began to fill the room. Girls were laughing & pointing, while others stood in shock. He ran out the door with all pride gone along with self-esteem. "Look at that kid run. I swear, if he wasn't so geeky, I could see him running the olympics." We made our way to Algebra I. "Seriously Jules, don't joke about the kid. Looks like he's had it tough." "Come on. The kid wet his pants and he's in the 11th grade." "Just be quiet and don't let your mouth get you in trouble again." "I won't." "Tell the teacher that I'm going to the bathroom." "Okay." I went to the bathroom and heard the sound of crying. Looking around to see where it had been coming from. I looked under the stalls and saw someone sitting on the floor. "Excuse me, are you alright?" No one spoke. "I just want to help." The suspender on the floor, gave it away. "Kyle? Is that you?" "Leave me alone!" "Why are you in the girls bathroom." "If I go to the boys, they'll find me again. Now leave." In my mind, I wanted to leave, but my conscious wouldn't let me. "What they did to you was wrong and I'm sorry no one chooses to see it." "What's it to you?" "We may not know eachother, but I can't leave you here like this. No one deserves that kind of punishment." He cracked open the door, peeking out. "What makes you so different from everyone else?" "I'm here, trying to help you up." He opened the door with the blood dried up under his nose, tears rolling down his face and his nose running. "I can't go back out there." "You can't let them win. If you do, then they'll keep doing the samething to you. You have to stand up for yourself, because no one else will." In turn, I will regret these words of advice. "I've never told anyone this, but I have a crush on Mrs.Harnwick." "I've noticed." "You think she'll ever... Ya know. Like me." "I'm sure she does, but you have to understand, she's a adult woman whose married." "I can dream can't I." "Oh my God! He's in the girl's bathroom! Shelly come see this!" "Oh no! Ya see what I mean!" Kyle ran out before the rest of the girls came. "Why'd you do that?!" "Because, its a geek in the girls bathroom. Loosin up freshman." "My names Melody and you have no right to bully him like that." "Tha names Trish. Is that your boyfriend or something!" "No." "Then stay out of my way!" She pushed me against the wall and exited the bathroom.  Holding my composure was the next best thing I could do.  The only thing that kept me from losing my cool was the fact that I didn't want to start the sch Publication Date: April 2nd 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-mamapeace

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-darke-september-strangers/

Darke September Strangers To You for reading this far. Most of my life was a lot better after my dad left us. My life was looking great, until I was 3 in a half. When I was three this is what happened that was also the beginning of my tragic life. So my mom fell in love again, and had two boys. Keannea who was 2, and Kreasen who was 1. One day Keannea decided to chase me around the house. Wee were laughing and having a great time. Then Keannea had to trip over Kreasen toys, abd skin his knee. Keannea ran to mom crying for her to bandge it. I was waiting until they finished, so we can play again, but I got bored real fast. So I climbed up stairs, and walked into my room. What greated me in my room was my sis snores. I had to compress a couple of giggles. I swear that girl can sleep through anything. I crept over to my window to look at the view. From my window, you can see the park and the lake. Out of the cornor of my eye, I saw some movement coming towards our house. I turned my head to see ten guys in there 20s walking up to our house. They were all carring aa big red container. They began to douse our house with the liquid inside the containers. I thought they were just watering the garden and getting the house wet on accident, with a lovely rainbowed color water. Then one of the men took out one of those devices that makes fire appear out of no where, and smirked. I watched him and the other guys laugh until they dropped it. Then out of no where, the gardenbegan to grow flames. Text: This is my life not yours, so no copying. All rights reserved. Publication Date: August 3rd 2010 https://www.bookrix.com/-darkmatter

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-daniela-building-my-life-as-a-bitten-vampire/

Daniela Building my life as a bitten vampire (in progress) Prolouge Demetria's P.O.V.(point of view) I was so excited my parents know that i have a boyfriend and they're OK with our relationship! My name is Demetria McMillan I'm 17 turning 18 in 2 months. I'm a junior at Brown high school I have a great mom and dad. I had a secret relationship until today. I'm not popular but not a nerd. I have really cool friends. You could almost say i have a perfect life..... almost. I have dirty blond hair, in perfect shape, and I'm in the volley ball team at school. "OH MY GOD! GUESS WHAT? JOSHUA (my boyfriend) INVITED ME TO DINNER!" I screamed onto the phone so Alexis (my bff) could see how exited I was. "So you've been out to dinner with him like .... ALOT of times?!" she said. "Yes, but this is our first official date because we aren't hidding our relationship anymore!" I answered. *The next day* "MOM WHERE ARE MY BLACK JEGGINGS?!" I whined. "I DON'T KNOW HONEY YOU BOUGHT THOSE 2 DAYS AGO!" she screamed from the kitchen. "Ugh" I said as i walked over to my walk-in closet. I looked all over the place, until I saw them hanging in between two shirts. I got them and grabed my black and white love shirt; I went over to my cabinet and got my underwear and bra. I ripped off my clothes and got into a warm shower. After I finished washing and drying myself I let go of the towel and put on my underwear and bra. After I had my clothes on I went over to the mirror and got my eyeliner, mascara, eye shadow, and lipstick from my drawer. I plugged in my curler and let it heat up while I did my makeup. I put on my eyeliner, blue eye shadow, and my mascara. I checked the curler to see if it was hot enough and it was, after I was done with my hair I put on my lipstick. I looked at myself in the mirror and was pleased with my look. I looked at my shoe holder and got my blue high heels. I headed downstairs and found my mom with a camera "smile!" she said. I gave her a quick smile "Go to go mom, love you" I said grabbing the keys to my Ford Mustang 2012. I got into my black and blue Mustang and drove to Golden Corral (i know it sound a little cheesy), where Joshua and me are meeting. Joshua's P.O.V. (He has "swagg" so there might be some slang language.) Aight, so my girl's parents already know we going out, they cool with it. I'm Joshua Hunter, 18, I'm a senior at Brown HS. I'm part of the football team, which of course has most of the school players in it. If there was a player scale, which there might be I would be rated like a 4. I is going out with Demetria, yea yea you might be like WTF why is a cool senior in the football team dating a..well....normal? I dont know how that happened, but I guess I've never liked slutty popular girls. I have light brown hair almost blond hair, blue eyes, average size, eight pack of course, and the most important thing a guy needs...SWAGG. Theres only one prob im a vamp and i dont now how to tell her. I invited my babe to dinner at golden corral. *Date day* I got a black undershirt and a button shirt black and blue. Some black jeans, and blue and black boxers. I took a shower, and got ready, my hair is slightly curly so I just let it flow by its self. I got my blue and black Jordan's and headed out. I grabbed the keys to my black Porsche. I got there and she still wasn't there, so I just went ahead and sat down and ordered a drink while she was on her way. The "perfect" night ~~Demi~~ It was beautiful outside, there was a full moon, it was big and orange, and there was a slight wind. I got out of my car, walked into the place and you could see it was PACKED. I went over to the receptionist and he said " Do you have a reservation ma'am?", ugh i hate it when they call me ma'am, I mean I'm not that old!. With a fake smile on my face I told him " Eh well not under my name but under Joshua Hunter, oh and you can call me Demi." "Ah, I see..Demi..follow me" he said as me looked at a list and started walking. He took me to an outside table. "That's weird I never knew Golden Corral had a patio" I thought. But it wasn't windy here it was...it was..HUMID. OH NO MY HAIR IS GONNA GET MESSED UP!! We ordered and ate, I could see Joshua stare at my hair constantly. I couldn't take it any more "Babe Imma go to the ladie's room I'll be right back." I went over to the mirror by the sinks and it looked like my hair was about to explode! I was "fixing" my hair when I felt a weird "pinch" on my neck, as if some kind of massive animal had bit me. I don't remember anything else all I remember was feeling the "pinch" and passing out there in the restroom, suddenly I felt somebody's strong and hard arm catching me. ^^Joshua^^ I was waiting for her, I looked inside searching for her when she came in. DAMN, YO SHE WAS HOT!!!!!!! AS SOON AS I SAW HER A GRIN APPEARED ON MY FACE. The wind made her hair flow so, so...i dont even know the word... I wish I was those leggins, that shit hugged her legs which made her lok even sexier! Those heels made her look TALL, did I tell you I love tall chicks? 'Shit look at bi***, fu***** SEXAY!' I thought. She came and sat down; I just stared at her ass while she sat it down. DAMN. We ordered and ate, something must really be wrong with her hair cuz every time I look at her, her hair gets my attention cuz it get bigger and bigger. Then she got up and went to the girls room, I bet she was doin sum to her hair. I resist it anymore so I called the waiter and told him to gimme the check cuz we was leaving. I paid and went to the ladies room without anyone noticing. TOLD YOU, there she was fixing her hair, this might sound stupid but she doing stuff to her hair made her look even SEXIER! GOD DAMN!! I bit her, and caught her when she was falling. Waking up &&Demi&& I woke up with a massive pain in my neck and mouth. I was in an old looking cabin. Every single piece of furniture was rusty and covered with dirt. I searched the room until I found what I was looking for, a window. I looked out the window. I saw trees and trees and more trees, was I in the forest? There it was, I saw the sun as soon as my eyeball's reached it my eyes started to burn. It was such an awful pain that I could have died in that same moment. I quickly looked away and searched the room again, this time in search of my purse. I saw it lying down on a table. I got it and scattered around it, and stopped when I saw my tiny mirror. I got, looked at myself to make sure I was alright and then I saw them, just hanging from the top of my mouth. I SAW FANGS, I DEMETRIA MCMILLAN HAD FANGS!!!! I started yelling in horror to the top of my lungs. Seconds later I saw him appear in the door way with a sheepish smile on his face. $$Joshua$$ I didn't wanna just leave her there and I knew that if I took her to her parents I wouldnt get out of it. So I remembered the old cabin my family owned up in the forest. I decided to take her there. But before we got there I went to the store and buy some food and supplies. I drove the farthest I could to get to the cabin, but I had to walk the rest carrying Demi bride style. When we got to the cabin I sat her down on an old couch. I knew it wasnt long till she woke up so I decided to go get the supplies. I was making chicken noodle soup when I heard a scream. I assumed she saw her fangs. I got there and a sheepish smile appeared on my lips. She just stared at me. I didn't know how she would take it so I just started talking and telling her how it all happened. "It's you'r fault for being a damn sexy bit- I mean chick. OK well it all happened like this...I saw you come in looking so fukin sexy with those jeggings hugging your thigh's. The you went to the restroon to fix your hair and I saw you just standing there and I could hold myself back, so I jut went ahead and bit you. And yes, I am a vampire." "How can you be a vampire when you're part of the FOOTBALL TEAM which means having to play outdoors for like 3 hours?!" she said in a annoyied and a 'duh' tone. "Well remember my twin brother Joseph? He's the one that like fooball, he wanted to play I wanted to be popular so I joined the team and now he plays for me and I became popular". She had a confused look on her face. " Babe, he is not a vampire. I became a vampire while making out with that slutty cheerleader....is it Megan? Yea I think so. We went to her room and we were making out I was kissing her neck when she turned me over so she was on top and could have control..she was heading for my neck and I was expecting a kiss or hikey but instead I got bitten. Yea I know, I know i should've told you I had made out with that slut but it didnt go all the way.. atleast i dont think cuz I passed out as soon as she bit me." Publication Date: March 18th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-looking4abook

https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-blair-wilson-anon/

Blair Wilson ANON Is it okay to run away?............Even when you running from someone you love? ~ANON~ THE TREES APPEAR AS A GREEN BLUR as I run. I could see the sun at its highest peak. I could hear the crunch of the dry leaves and branches, with every step. I could see him already, trying to sneak up on a deer. A brown, white spotted, long legged deer. The kind of deer they only make in The Laboratory. He is about to shoot it with an arrow. A gold dipped arrow, a very expensive looking piece of craft.I step into the same, narrow path he is in. And scream by but off , scaring the tiny creature into the bushes. “What the heck, Sparrow?” Liam asked me. I don’t answer him. I just walk over to the creek, sitting by Big Oak, another Lab-creature. I sigh. Liam understands that I want to talk to him and sits down beside me. “What’s wrong, Spar?” “Nothing”, I lie. I wrap my hands over my knees and sigh again. “Tell me”, Liam says, bumping his shoulder with mine. I don’t answer. I sigh another time, then lay down my back on the damp ground. “Fine”, he says, copying my moves. I look up into to the sky, the sun is almost done setting. I, then, look into Liam’s eyes. “I want to run away, Liam. I want you to runaway with me.”, I blurt, feeling weight lift off of my shoulders. Liam sits up, and sighs. I copy his moves. “You know we can’t. We have family and friends here. How can we leave them? Why would you even suggest that? ‘We-” “I know, I know ‘We can’t keep thinking about us, We have to to think about our neighbors, and our neighbors, neighbors, because without them there wouldn’t have been us’. Why do you keep quoting my dad? It’s getting really tiring hearing you talk about my dad all the time” “Well, he is the mayor and- hey! Stop trying to change the subject. We already talked about running away. It can’t be done. It’s too risky” We were silent for a while. “I can’t take this Liam: the tiring labor, the continuing food shortage. Its getting worse, Liam. People are dying. And The Officials won’t even let us bury them. They are being burned and the stench always stinks up the village. I am sick and tired of having to cope with the deathly changes. I am-” “SPARROW!!!” I look at him, then I look through the patch of trees, hearing my echo, not realizing I was screaming. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scream like that. I am just so mad...and tired. So tired” “I know Spar. We all are” “Why can’t we just leave? Pack up our stuff and just leave?” “We will” “When? When will we be free of Them and stop being afraid of stepping out of our own doorstep? When?” I could barely see through the salty tears streaking down my cheeks. I can feel my fists clenched, and I can hear my heart beating rapidly, out of anxiety. “When?” I repeat. “One Day”, Liam replies. I sigh and lean my head against his shoulder. And I repeat the words that will echo across the mountains when I scream them at the the top of my lungs. “One Day” Publication Date: April 29th 2012 https://www.bookrix.com/-naynalova