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I recently proposed to my GF and she said yes (hoorraaah). Before this we never talked about money, both of us earn decent money and money has never been a subject of discussion before. We split almost everything, or sometimes I pay or she pays, but we never take advantage of one another. We lately talked about finances and each one of us had access to other's finances. Her finances aren't bad at all, but I realized she never invested her money in anyway. She has enough savings for emergencies etc, but she clearly doesn't understand the time value of money. I on the other hand barely have any cash, and most of my money is in assets growing every passing day (at least on the average), as a result she saw that I had much more money than her even though we are roughly earning similar amounts. I thought long and hard and told her I didn't want to combine our finances if she would have any say in our investment decisions because I didn't trust her knowledge and ability in this domain. I also told her if she is willing to put effort in it I could suggest her stuff on asset allocation etc. and then we could both decide together. I also told her investment and spending decisions are completely different so I'm not telling her she wouldn't have any control over how we spend our money. I also told her I am completely okay with keeping our finances separate for the time being since it clearly works. Consequently she went silent, but I feel like she's disheartened since then. She is not talking as excited about our future as before and she is avoiding the subject. I told couple of friends of mine and they accused me of being "cold" which I know is their way of calling me an asshole. So reddit AITA for this? ######

YTA How patronising and condescending can one person be? Honestly I would be surprised if she’d still want to marry you after this shit show. So she has never done any research on the topic of financial investment. Many people haven’t done that that doesn’t make them financially irresponsible. You might want to humbly remember that there have been many many many incidents in (American) history where people’s investment even though thought to be secure dropped their value from one second to the next and investors where left with nothing. I don’t know whether you have an actual degree in finance management but if you haven’t there is nothing you know your gf couldn’t learn via some internet research. She could always entrust a bank or some other professional financial manger with her money if she didn’t wanted to do her own research. She doesn’t need you to make smart financial decisions. You run over her like a bulldozer in complete disregard of how you made her feel (stupid and worthless probably). You really need to apologise and work on your terrible communications skills. No wonder she isn’t excited about a future with you any longer. ######

I have a complicated relationship with my 17yo son. We were exceptionally close when he was younger. He has mainly lived with his mother since the 8th grade, but asked to stay with me because he doesn't get along with her boyfriend who moved in. The drama at their place is sickening. She and her boyfriend fight over anything and everything. Big and small. I have remarried and have a 8yo son. My 8yo worships the ground that my 17yo walks on. It's nice to see that while I don't have the best relationship with my 17yo, that he and my 8yo are close. My 8yo had a family birthday party and wanted my 17yo to attend. It was so important to him. My 17yo asked why would he go since he's now living with us. The day of the party, my 17yo was MIA. I texted him that we were waiting for him and he never responded. It devastated my 8yo. My 17yo came back late at night and I asked him where he was. He said there was issues at his mom's and he went to deal with it and forgot about the party. I reminded him that he moved in with us to get away from the drama so I didn't understand why he was going back. But point aside, he really hurt his brother by flaking out on his party which was important to my 8yo because none of his could come due to the quarantine. My 17yo just mumbled "oops" and I told him to get the fuck out if he didn't want to be a part of the family. And I am serious. ######

YTA Hes 17, for christ sake. He is a children as well Maybe you need to reflect with him about the birthday but telling a 17 year old (and your son) to fuck off? Its like, why even asking? ######

A few months ago our son (15) came to me and the wife and asked if he could save up for a new console. He has an Xbox One S so we assumed (probably our fault a bit here) that he wanted the next gen Xbox Series X. He was doing well in school and we were pleased he was showing the initiative to earn something for himself instead of just asking us to buy it for him so we said go for it. Yesterday he said he’d saved up £400 but most of it was cash, so could he give me that money and I buy it for him with my card. Turns out he wants a PS4, which goes for about £250-£350 depending on the model. Now, I wasn’t keen on this as he already has a comparable console from this generation, and the new generation of consoles is imminent. I asked him why he wanted to get a PS4 and he said it was to take advantage of the our new TV which was 4K. Now, if he’d said version exclusives, or of his friends had PlayStations so he could play online, I might have relented. I told him no, wait for the ps5 or new Xbox, but it just wasn’t a good use of money to spend the best part of the cost of a next gen console on something that would very quickly become obsolete. I even said I’d cover the difference, but he has his heart set on being able to play games in 4K. Mind you, these are games he already has on Xbox so he’d have to pay for them again. My wife agrees with our son, but she also doesn’t really get the differences between consoles ( last year she bought him a PS4 controller bc it was cheaper than an Xbox one and she assumed it would work). She thinks it’s his money he worked and saved for, so he should be able to buy what he wants. On the other hand, I think we have a duty as parents to ensure he’s not wasting money on bad purchases, which I think a PS4 at this time would be. ######

YTA He saved the money he wants to buy it let him buy it and if he turns around in a few months and is annoyed about not having the newest one you can turn that into a teaching moment You can not dictate what he buys with his money he will learn one way or another ######

Okay so some basic background, I'm going to try and not be too specific. My \[F23\] best friend \[F23\] has been dating a high-profile person on and off for a few years now. I don't really know how to describe his level of celebrity, but he's a mainstream musician who previously had a larger online profile. For this reason, while he isn't a "celebrity" per say, he is well-known enough by those particularly online that he attracts a lot of attention when we go out. A lot of people will shout stuff at him or come over and ask for photos. Sometimes it's fine, but I've noticed one one person comes over, it attracts people to follow suit. It depends where we are, but our wedding will be somewhere I expect this to happen a lot (based in NYC). We don't have a huge budget for our wedding, so the reception will be held at a popular NYC venue, but we can't afford to have it exclusively. The venue still means enough to me that I'm okay with other strangers being in the bar. I know this might be strange to some of you, especially Americans as I've been told, but I'm originally from a European country where non-exclusive wedding venues are common if you don't want to spend a ton of money, and my fiancé is happy with this as well. Our wedding isn't small enough for me to justify it as being too intimate to invite my friend's partner, however I really don't want him to take the attention away from our wedding by simply being there. My friend is really upset with me and is now paranoid I don't like her partner, which isn't true, he's genuinely really gracious and everyone in our friendship group has always liked him. He's a great guy, but I'm not particularly close to him and it's not worth the risk having him there. I thought I would ask here as out of the friends / family I've asked for advice to, it's pretty split. Half of them think I'm being an asshole, the other half don't. So Reddit, what would you do? AITA? ######

YTA He has likely dealt with situations like these numerous times in his life and likely has strategies to deal with it. Celebrities are are approached in more ‘approachable’ situations like walking down the street. If he is at a private event, most patrons will likely recognise that it’s not an appropriate time to approach him and leave him be. If someone with no social intelligence does decide to approach, I imagine he’ll be okay with saying ‘I’m not working at moment. Sorry’ or something of the like and the moment will pass pretty quickly. If any of your guests cause a scene, then they are the problem, not him. Your friend and her partner shouldn’t be punished for things that are outside of their control and I think your mind is probably jumping to worst case scenario. On a mildly irrelevant note, a friend of a friend had Kiera Knightly at their regular joe wedding (she is married to a friend of the groom) and no one batted an eye. ######

My step sister doesn't have a strong or sexy female role model in her life. Our relationship has its ups and downs, but on several occasions she's admitted she wants to learn more from me about make up, clothes and the like. Her mom is a pretty sleazy character and I have no idea why my dad's with her. Still, I can't let her go because of that, my step sis is 17 and I'm 21, so we're like sisters, right? I decided to surprise her and give her this gift as a subtle nudge to getting her to start presenting herself a little better. She hasn't had a single boyfriend, and is always the wayward anti-social depressed person which I think is a terrible look for her and not doing her mental health any wonders. I hoped this would maybe get her excited about taking care of things and feeling sexy and attractive. I know she has a couple of boys she crushes on .. hard! Maybe this would get her started. Unfortunately the kid ratted on me, told her mom (my step mom) and now it's become a big thing in my family. Luckily I don't live with my dad or them, and I'm with my mom (who luckily gave me a strong female role model .. she's amazing!) so I don't have to deal with the drama day-to-day. But they're accusing me of sending her the wrong message and this is the text that really hurt me "put her on a path to being shallow and slutty, like you are" which was a total below the belt hit. My mom just chalks it up to jealousy and thinks I did the right thing giving that poor girl a chance to get out of that funk. AITA here? ######

YTA Hairy legs are prettier than being judgemental ######

My ex is calling me an asshole because I am taking my two kids (4 and 11) back 5 days a week when school starts when he is saying they would be better off keeping their 50/50 schedule since school will be online in the fall. I work 12 hour shifts 3 days a week (2 days on weekdays) so I told him my plan is to put my little one in day care from 7 am to 7 pm while I work and my 11 year old can stay home alone or go to his aunts. He is used to staying home by himself and takes himself to school when he had in class school. However my ex says I am being an ass by not keeping our current schedule where the kids are with him Saturday - Wednesday because he claims my 11 year old doesn’t do well with his school work by himself and that it makes no sense to throw my 4 year old into day care that long when he could be with his dad. I am their mother and they belong with me, going to school here where I live. This is the only way I can make it work since I do have to make a living since my ex abandoned us. If they stay with him my 11 yo will have to be with his girlfriend anyway until 12-2 PM when he gets back from work whom I do not trust so I don’t see the difference. ######

YTA Father seems to have a fair argument. Your 4 YO should be spending time with his father if you planned on throwing him in a daycare for 12 hours. Not to mention your son having difficulty with school when he’s alone. You may be the parent, but kids aren’t property. Saying you own them/belong to you is such a terrible phrasing. By that logic, their father has the same rights to his kids ######

My parents invited My brother (22M) for dinner as we hadn't seen him in a while. I (20F) was weirded out because he brought his roommate to a family dinner. Halfway through the night he drops the 'boyfriend' bomb. See my best friend had asked my brother on a date (just the earlier that day!) and he said yes. She's has terrible insecurity, confidence, body image issue and has bad anxiety so that was a big thing for her. Now I was finding out he was gay and had a boyfriend. I insulted him and called him names (not homophobic slurs) because I couldn't believe he would do that to someone I consider a sister. He said he felt really put on the spot when she asked and people where around and he didn't want to embarrass her. He said he was going to explain to her tomorrow that he was gay, which is why he was coming out to us now. He'd already told his boyfriend and I made him call her up right then and let her down. My mom said I was too harsh on him after just coming out and in front of his boyfriend. ######

YTA Coming out is such a raw and vulnerable moment, and you chose that moment to scream at him and call him names? You could have just pulled him aside later and said "hey, I'm disappointed with how you handled the situation with my best friend" and you could have talked about it. ######

​ So, I (45 F) am getting married to my boyfriend (47 M). He has three kids, two adopted daughters(25 F, 17 F), and a biological son, (24 M), I love my step kids a lot but there's one problem. His youngest is bisexual and has a girlfriend, I don't have any problem with that! But most of my family is homophobic and my boyfriend wants to invite his kids' significant other since they're 'family'. I had a talk about it and He was mad at me for thinking that his youngest's girlfriend shouldn't come because of my family. I tried my best to explain but he was really stubborn, refusing to not invite her. I got mad at him too and now we won't talk to each other. Of course, I love my step-daughter and her girlfriend is really nice but I'm scared about my family causing a ruckus because of it. ######

YTA Bu showing you prioritise your homophonic family over your partners you show where you stand. Your partner and his kids deserve better. Also please grow up. Perfect anything doesn’t exist ? ######

My mom died when I was 13 whilst in childbirth with my youngest sister, my dad therefore suddenly became a single dad of four young girls. He never dated anybody whilst I was going through my teenage years, but met his wife, my stepmom, when I was 19 and in college. As I was the only one of my sisters not living at home anymore, they all had good relationships with her, whilst I didn’t really have any. For the past three years, his wife was battling ovarian cancer and passed away this past January. It’s been really hard on my dad as she had gone into remission and then relapsed only 2 months later. I’ve been living at home to help him as my sisters all have kids and I don’t. He’s a shell of the man I grew up having as a dad, and watching him wither away has been awful, so I suggested he should try and meet someone new. He didn’t really respond. I also told him I could message a woman I work with as I think they’d be really good together. Later that night we were on FaceTime to one of my sisters and I mentioned it to her and said we should make him some kind of dating profile if she didn’t like the idea of me setting him up with my colleague. She was absolutely mortified and immediately refused the idea. She’s the youngest so she grew up with my stepmom basically being her mom. She then told my other sisters and they’ve called me incredibly insensitive to my dads feelings. My dad has agreed with them and told me he’s not ready to move on, and has asked me to leave so he can grieve the way he wants and take things at his own pace. AITA? ######

YTA 6 months isn’t long losing someone. Especially it being the 2nd person you thought you would grow old with. Support is what he needs, not a new love interest. Don’t be surprised if he finds it hard to want to find another person after this, I can only imagine how hard and scary it would be to try to find a love for the 3rd time. ######

When my husband and I got married, we agreed that he would work and I would stay home and raise our kids. Now we have two kids. Our son is 17 while our daughter is 7. Our daughter has special needs ( don’t want to get into it too much). We have a part time babysitter to help out with teaching her how to socialize. She goes to public school, but teachers are always concerned about the fact that she’s very behind socially and learning wise. At our last chat with school administrators they suggested that we look into sending her to a private special education school because the staff there were more trained and they think our daughter could benefit from more resources. My husband said that we couldn’t afford to keep our daughter in this school more than a semester with our family finances. Yesterday he sat me down and said that he printed out job listings for part time receptionist level positions and started begging me to apply. He also said that if I didn’t do that I really shouldn’t have a charge account at a local department store. I was extremely offended because when we married he promised me that he would always take care of the family. And I married him thinking that we had shared values that this would be a marriage where my job was to stay home and care for the kids. In addition, I used to work reception 18 years ago but always told him about how it was a very demeaning job. I just feel I can’t deal with the emotional stress of customers even for four hours a day and still be a good mom. So I told my husband that I didn’t want to get a job and that I shouldn’t have to. He’s a mover with a company but also freelances, but recently he’s taken less and less freelance jobs that could have contributed to the household. AITA? ######

YTA 1. no one wants a customer service job. Everyone finds them demeaning. You're not special 2. You're not entitled to a comfy SAH existence because of an agreement you and your husband made. If your husband routinely let you down or something that would be different, but your post makes it sound like he's always been stellar until this incident. 3. You're supposed to be partners. If your husband has to work overtime every week, or if he has to take on 2 jobs to support the family, you need to step up if it won't interfere with childcare. He can't control the world. Sometimes people can only make so much money. 4. He's asking you to work so your daughter can go to a special school that she needs. This isn't about you. It's about giving your daughter all the support she can get. ######

I have sensory processing disorder which means I am extremely sensitive to light and sound. My family does not seem to care and are always very inconsiderate: screaming, keeping bright lights on, etc. My little sister is scared of the dark. To combat this, she has a HUGE LED light. It lights up my room (directly across the hallway from her’s) and makes it so I am unable to sleep. For some reason, my parents value her fear of the dark over my health. I never sleep well, and I am often up for hours, recently i have been tying a shirt around my eyes. I’ve offered her solutions: close the door “no, i want the cats to come in” use a small nightlight (i even went as far as to make her one out of fused glass and a small bulb) “no, i like the big light” However i’ve been really fed up with having a constant headache recently so this morning I snuck into her room and took the lightbulb out of her light and hid it. When she found out she threw a fit, and my parents are threatening to punish me if i don’t give it back (i don’t think i will, i’d rather have just one full night of sleep than my electronics) So, AITA in this situation? ######

YTA ~~needs more information~~ >I’ve offered her solutions: close the door “no, i want the cats to come in” Is there a reason you don't close *your* door? ######

My husband and I were staying with his parents out of absolute desperation, but his mom is a real pill. A couple weeks ago I had conflict with MIL. She was out by the pool with her friend and my kids were inside, but were probably going to be coming out after their lunch. MIL and her friend just verbally abuse each other and say they are joking. They throw around the words bitch and whore like they are nothing. I have an issue with those words because they degrade women. I asked MIL to tone her behavior down and she told me it was her house and her pool. That night she told me she is sick of me and we need to go. She gave us a week to leave, so right now we are in a motel and it sucks. I posed a Facebook picture of the kids and someone commented about did we move, so I told them that she kicked us out because she would rather call her friends whores than house her grandchildren. MIL commented irrelevant and my husband said I embarrassed him ######

YTA >I told them that she kicked us out because she would rather call her friends whores than house her grandchildren. No, she asked you to leave because you overstepped in her home, and based on your attitude and the manipulative Facebook post, I'm willing to bet you are a habitual line stepper. Your kids are now living in a motel because you think being able to control your MIL's behavior in her own home is more important than their stability. ######

A few days ago she said she need a text book for school. I’ve been buying her textbooks since freshmen year but since she has a job now, I make her pay a lot of her own things now that aren’t a necessity. The textbook that she needed was $100 on top of some literature books that were about $25. I told her if she bought it I would loan back the money at some other time. Few weeks into school and I thought she bought what she needed but then I get an email from her teaching saying she didn’t have the required material for the class. Turns out, she didn’t have enough money and maybe only had like $60 in the account. She didn’t mention it because she didn’t want to make me feel bad. ######

YTA >I make her pay a lot of her own things now that aren’t a necessity How do you propose she take the classes without a textbook? Seems like its... a necessity, to me. > She didn’t mention it because she didn’t want to make me feel bad. You should feel bad, you are a bad parent. ######

My little brother is autistic and has a brain damage and its his 11th birthday. Nobody can come to his birthday and that breaks my heart because he is really looking forward to having a big party. I originally said yes to eating at a fine restaurant with my bf family and his mother made resevetions months in advance, where the invitation for my brothers birthday came only a week before. I cancelled the family dinner and went to my brothers birthday but now my bf is saying i betrayed him and his family. And he is so mad and yelling at me. There is no understanding for my brother and i dont know if i made the right call. ######

YTA (and E S H) Sounds like these weren’t easy reservations to get and sounds like it was important to your bf you go to this dinner. Your timeline is hazy of when you backed out, what your brother’s party entailed, and some other details but I don’t think I need them. If no one went to your brother’s party why couldn’t it had been moved to a different day? Could you have seen him earlier in the day? Seems like you were all too ready to cancel these dinner plans and made no attempts to rectify the situation. You just cancelled. Your boyfriend should be understanding if you want to prioritize your brother and calling this a betrayal is so dramatic. But if I were him I would definitely feel deprioritized. It honestly seems like you couldn’t be bothered with the dinner and were happy to take the birthday as an out. Also to everyone being like “OBVIOUSLY a family birthday is more important” seriously? Not everyone puts family above everything else and not everyone gives a shit about birthdays, so not that isn’t obvious at all. Edit: as someone pointed out I can’t cast two votes so I choose YTA as it would’ve been OP’s responisbility to try to make both plans work. ######

My (25M) roommate (25F) has been out of town for a few weeks to attend a family member's funeral. I asked her if it was alright for me to have my gf over while she was gone, considering we hadn't seen each other for a while due to the pandemic. She said no problem, we'd be staying in my bed/my room & she didn't have any food in the fridge we were to leave alone, etc. My gf would probably be gone before she was back as well. While she was over, my gf got her period. I know where my roommate keeps her pads, I thought it wouldn't be a big deal if I told my gf she could use them as well the over the counter pain meds my roommate takes. While my roommate has very painful periods every time, my gf doesn't have very painful periods, but every once in a while the cramps are worse and she needs to take them, this was one of them. I didn't keep track of how many she used, and eventually the weeks were over and she left & my roommate came back. Another couple days went by, and my roommate hit her period. I don't keep track of my roommate's periods lol, but I know this because she came to me looking very stressed and asked where her pads were and where her pain meds were. I told her that I let my gf use them, and she said that my gf had used all but a few plus had finished the pain meds. She told me the least I could do was go out and get her more. I didn't think I had to, was it really a big deal that I let another girl use her pads (?), and we bickered for a little bit before she left. She came back a while ago and has been ignoring me since. We've always gotten along pretty well, so this reaction confuses me. Is she overreacting because of her period or AITA? ######

YTA . It’s basic common courtesy if you use someone’s things you buy a replacement unless they say it’s okay. You could’ve messaged her and asked and it’d probably be a yes, you could’ve let your gf use one and gone to the store to get her her own. You have no idea how expensive these things can be, and your roommate probably need the pain meds more than your gf if she has them ready. Your roommate is right. The least you could do is replace the things your gf used. ######

I have 2 sons, R and K. R is 14 and K is 10. My kids are very different. R is very intelligent and has always excelled in school without giving any effort at all. He was always quite independent, and I never had to involve myself with his school, so I didn't. K, on the other hand, was never very good at school or at focusing, and his grades were never above a B. My wife and I both work full time, and we were very nervous that K would not perform well in online school. I had the idea to have R tutor him, seeing as he was always good at math. which is K's worst subject. R was not happy about giving up 2-3 hours a day to tutor K, but I told him that he needs to help his brother. And it worked super well! Within 3 days, K's practice scores went from 45% to 89%, but R was very frustrated because he had to "Teach things I never learned". He was talking about training his number sense, and he complained that numbers "always came easily to him" and that he couldn't teach it. I told him that he was being arrogant, and that there was no need to flaunt his intelligence. I got kind of carried away and yelled at him that he doesn't deserve his success because his smarts are due only to his good genetics, not through hard work. He asked me what more he could do, saying that his grades were all 100 or more. I called him a liar. And he became extremely upset and locked himself in his room. Today, R came downstairs as me and my wife were talking about K's suddenly better test scores. R commented, saying "He's got the right idea, setting the bar low". I asked him what he meant, and he said "He meets the bare minimum of expectations, and he gets praise like he cured polio. I break records, and I get an "oh, ok". When was the last time you told be you were proud" I was speechless. He went to his room and hasn't left since. So, AITA? ######

YTA . You are showing favoritism towards K because his scores are lower and its a bigger deal for his scores to be brought up than R's already high scores? They are kids. If you need K to be tutored, hire a tutor, don't tell your other kid to do it which is clearly affecting his mental health and possibly putting R's grades at risk. ​ For some people, they just 'get it' when it comes to certain aspects of education, and its extremely difficult to explain how they understand it. Especially when they are 14 years old. He wasn't being arrogant, but he was showing that one of the things he ISNT good at is explaining things to others. Rather than acknowledge his flaw, you rejected its existence. Even though you're forcing him to help K overcome his flaws. ######

I BARELY ever get to see my daughter (14) and bout a month ago her mom finally started letting her come to my house on the weekends. I had an extra room and so i just put a bed in there and a dresser and im letting her decorate the rest. Me and my daughter have gotten into a few arguments about me "slut shaming" her, being to strict with her, etc. Usually her mom and I would talk it out. This time BOTH her moms (her momma is a lesbian) are mad at me which is ridiculous honestly. Like i said with the decorating room thing, im letting her pick out what she wants. Im Christian and her moms are Traditional Natives so they into spiritual stuff which i wouldnt have a problem with until she started forcing her beliefs into my home. The first thing she put in her room that was kinda weird was some crystals and rocks. Alright i aint really got a problem with that if she thinks theyre pretty then theyre pretty. Then she brought white sage so in case there is "bad spirits she can clear them out". I didnt really like this but like I said she just doing her own little thing fine by me. I spoke to her mom and she kind of told me what she meant. (In the bible it says to rely on God for things like demons so thats why I didn't really want the sage in my house) Then she put a dream catcher in her room. I talked to her about it and she said it gets rid of bad dreams and I guess at her house she got them everywhere. So it didnt bug me until she put a dream catcher in the living room. I told her I do not want that in the living room because to me its witchcraft and she started saying how im being rude and disrespecting her beliefs and all this stuff blah blah blah. She started crying after our argument and then called her mom and so now I cant see my own daughter this weekend. Did I really disrespect her beliefs or is she tripping??? ######

YTA , whether you like it or not, your daughter is half native. As a half native myself , i can honestly say there's not much support for native traditions in most areas of the US . what she is expressing really isn't necessarily a religious statement , it's traditions passed down through the family . and honestly , if you ask a Christian , just about everything is witchcraft. I think you need to respect her beliefs and make compromises, she's just a damn kid , dude. it's your house and all ,just go about it slow and steady. Have you tried explaining to her that you respect what she wants to have in her room but to kindly keep it in her room due to difference in beliefs? If you stick to this, you just might lose your kid and rightfully so, just to be blunt . support and embrace your kid's beliefs and traditions , ######

I never thought I would be put in this situation as a parent. My daughter was supposed to go into high school this year as a freshman. It's a private school. They've made their decision. They're doing in school or nothing this year. No online option. Teachers and students not comfortable with this will have their places and jobs held for a school year. My other two kids are elementary age and toddler age, and I just had a baby (last one). My elementary schooler is able to do distance learning, and the toddler is high risk. My elderly mother is also living with us, and we have to help with care for my husband's grandmother. We CANNOT get exposed. I work for the private school (how my daughter is able to go) and will be furloughed without pay for the next year because I can't risk exposure with my family duties. We agonized over what to do about our daughter. It's too late to start her in public school, and just withdrawing is apparently perfectly fine. We could put her in online school, but it's expensive, those credits wouldn't transfer at all, and she would still have to do all 4 years in that school. Her father and I decided that our daughter also needed to just delay. She would have been starting high school at 13 anyway, so even with delaying it a year, she will still graduate at an appropriate age. We unfortunately need everyone to sacrifice. We're going to be raising 4 kids and supporting two seniors on one military salary. I hate that one of those is making my eldest daughter just not have school for a year, but I was planning to make it up to her later with college and social things. She of course doesn't understand that, and has been furious that she's being "denied an education" to "be a maid" like her great aunt. It's NOT the same situation. This is about the entire family's safety and protecting each other. ######

YTA -- Your daughter is a child and needs to be appropriately educated. What you are doing is cruel and probably illegal. I hope your daughter tells an appropriate adult and gets help. Your daughter understands her situation perfectly. You are the one who does not understand her responsibilities. ######

We went to a restaurant the other day for FILs birthday. MILs friend was there and she is from Indonesia. We had a private room but they went out to the bar and I guess some guy was hitting on both of them and when they rejected them they started saying horrible shit to her friend about Asian women loving white dick and made a joke about eating dog. MIL defended her friend pretty loudly and I went to check on them. She pretty much humiliated the two guys and got the whole restaurant to boo them. They left and people were telling MIL she did great. MIL is a good friend and a good wife (not the best mom) but she is not a good person. FIL is an executive at a company and treats his inferiors like shit. MIL is rude to minimum wage workers. I said maybe they shouldn’t clap because she is sexist, classist, homophobic, and body shames people. The whole restaurant got really quite and FIL ended up asking both my husband and I to leave. My husband said I just shouldn’t have said anything because she did a good thing so I should have let them praise her. ######

YTA -- she stood up for her friend and against a racist. let people clap for that. ######

A while ago, I finally got some time off work and was excited to spend some alone time with my wife, even suggesting we go on a vacation since it's been so long. My wife, however, refused to stop working to even talk to me. She's in politics and we're in the middle of a war right now, so I partly understand, but I still think that our relationship should come first, no matter what. We're in a situation where we're not allowed to be open with our marriage, so any time we can get together is important. When I told her this, though, she got upset and kept saying that her work needs to come first and that it's really important. I wasn't going to submit this originally, but recently we were looking forward to a night off alone together, when I got called into work. I had to go in because I would have gotten in serious trouble if I hadn't, and she got upset and sad that I had to go. It got me thinking about whether or not I was the asshole back then. AITA? ######

YTA - your wife is not” just a senator” she is the elected representative of a district/area and is entrusted with the responsibility for those who live there Also why can’t you show your relationship? That sounds kinda...weird Also yeah, if you have to work, then so does she Stop finding and belittling your wife’s work Edit: I realise that your probably one of the best trolls I have ever seen on here with this post I fell for it completely For anyone wondering Anakin and Padme I am an idiot ######

My older sister (K) and I are both attending the same college this year, I am living in the dorms (as a freshman) and she is living in an off-campus apartment. I was all packed up and excited to go until K came into my room the day we were supposed to leave to tell me she was doing remote learning this semester. She said the reason she was staying behind so suddenly is that her research was canceled, although she has known it was canceled for 3 months. One of the main reasons why I was comfortable being on campus this semester was because K if the COVID situation gets bad, I could stay in her apartment. It's important to note that my parents were incredibly hesitant for letting me go on campus, but felt better when they know my sister would be in the same city as me. After she said she was staying back, my parents basically told me that I could go on campus if I wanted to, although they would prefer if I stayed back as well. With no time to make a decision, I chose to stay back, and spend my freshman year of college in my childhood bedroom. I know I have it so much better than other people, but I'm mad that I'm missing out on so many life experiences. AITA for blaming my sister for a last-minute change of plans? ######

YTA - Your sister has her own decisions to make and life to lead. She's not required to be your back-up plan. You chose to stay home - you had a place to live and your parents were not forcing you to give it up. Stop blaming your sister for your choices. ######

My dad (65M) and I (35F) used to be really close. My mom was a surgeon, so my dad was the one to pick us up from school, make us dinner, help us with homework, ect. I married my husband (36M) five years ago. My dad is also a physician, and I can tell when he's entertaining guests because he has a distinctive bedside manner. It's polite and laid-back, but there is nothing of substance and I know he doesn't think anything he's saying is important. For the past five years, he hasn't had a single real conversation with my husband and I. It's all polite bullshit, and my husband doesn't believe me because he's never heard my dad have an actual conversation. Last week, we visited my parents, and my husband mentioned some investments he was thinking about making (that I know my dad thinks is a bad idea, because I've heard him give a 2 hour diatribe about why its a shitty idea before). When he responded, "That's really interesting, it sounds like you've put a lot of research into it", I lost it and called my dad out for not saying what he actually thinks, even when it can affect us financially. Later he pulled me aside, and he raised his voice with me for the first time since before high school. I asked him why he doesn't treat my husband like family. He told me that's not a decision I get to make, and that my husband is a guest and he's being polite. He also told me that I don't get to dictate what he feels comfortable speaking about and to who. That made me feel really bad, and my mom got upset at me for "embarrassing my dad for no reason". Now, I'm second guessing myself, but I also feel like its his fault for not actually caring about us. AITA? ######

YTA - Your are literally the only one that is bothered by this and the more you try and convince your husband that your Dad is "putting on a show" the more likely he is to start to pull away from your Dad which will in turn eventually create a situation where your husband doesn't treat your Dad with respect and everything after that is a spiral downwards. ######

So for my birthday someone got me a jar jar pop doll was 150 bucks recently my parents told me that I had to fly the coop so I glued all my pop dolls to my dashboard. Whilst visiting with my dad, I met my 12 year old brother and he was sitting in the passenger seat we were talking and he was like "wow, these are sick, how are they staying on?" I responded with, they're glued onto the stand, then they're glued onto the magnets and the magnets are glued to the dashboard. I said just try to like wiggle it off and then he just takes it with both hands and rips jar jar off the dashboard says "that was easy" I looked at him in shock I'm like you weren't supposed to use two hands and you weren't supposed to rip it off wtf... I had to leave that night to drive to Denver but I have to go back that way, I kinda want to tell him hey look dude you owe me a new pop doll because I cannot get my pop doll back onto the sockets it got ripped out of and it keeps falling(it got. Ripped from the stand 4 prong socket not the doll to stand socket) .. But I don't wanna ruin my newfound relationship with this child... TL;DR 12 year old brother ripped jar jar pop doll off its sockets on my dashboard and I want him to help either replace it or help me get a new one would I be the asshole if I ask him to do this.. ######

YTA - You’ve said in comments that the box was in bad condition so it was worthless, but you still want your brother to pay for it? Which is it? Worthless or not entirely worthless? Also, just because the box is bad, doesn’t mean the pop itself is bad. ######

I’m one of 7 kids. There’s 6 of us older adult kids (f23, me f21, m20, m20, f19, f18) and then our little sister who’s 5, who our parents call a happy accident. She obviously wasn’t planned but we all absolutely love her. As a whole family we don’t get to spend that much time together, all us older kids live away at college and all tend to come home at different times, so when we all came home at the beginning of Covid, we took it as an opportunity to prank our little sister into thinking she’s adopted. We didn’t plan on carrying it out, only pointing out that we’re all blonde and she’s brunette, but ended up becoming a lot more elaborate. It started with little comments here and there, how she’s so much younger than us, how tiny she is compared to us, how she looks different to us, and I ended up telling her that she was adopted from Romania and needed to learn Romanian in case her biological parents wanted her back. My oldest sister and I even printed off an adoption certificate and made it look as realistic as possible. We got such a laugh out of our little sister genuinely thinking she was adopted, until our mom and dad found out and were absolutely furious. Our mom told us that our sister has been struggling with being “an only child” and saying she wishes she was more like me and my sisters. Apparently for a 5 year old she’s had quite a lot of identity issues and it was worsened by our prank. My mom found out because my sister asked her where she could learn Romanian and when her family were coming to take her away. When our mom confronted us we thought it was hilarious so we were laughing as she told us which just pissed her off even more. She’s now saying we’re awful siblings and that we’re not allowed to come back home unless we seriously apologise to our sister. We have apologised but it was only a joke and really wasn’t that deep. It was all my idea so AITA? ######

YTA - You're bullying your 5 year old sister and it's actually really gross. ######

Ok so the title makes it sound bad but read it first. Today is my older sister's birthday and she went to work the whole day and came back and then i ruined it by having a tantrum and locking myself in my room. Why i did it is because of a laptop i was getting. Please read it before you Accuse me that i'm a ego. I worked very hard this year of school. I was promised a laptop for a whole year but then the promise was broken and then they said that they dont have the money for an expensive laptop, so i just played along with it. Days are passing in my holiday (which is 6 weeks in turn for 7 months of school) and still i haven't gotten a laptop, neither the one i chose or the one they could afford. Today they told me that my sister would pick it up from the store on her way home. I was so happy. Me and my mom were hanging up some things to suprise her. I couldn't hang one thing up and my mother starts to get mad at me for no reason. So i don't rage or anything i just walk away to my room. Later we suprise her and i'm just doing normal. One moment when i thought was a good timing to ask her about it she said that my mother called her not to pick it up because i "misbehaved". I thought this goes over the line and i screamed then went to my room and had a tantrum while locking my room. I was so angry because 1. They promised me a laptop for so long and lied to my face 2. They wasted my holiday having no fun at all (locked up at home doing nothing because i'm a gamer). 3. Took away the chance because of no reason and said that i was brutal. I hope people agree with me but i want to hear your opinion. In my view my mother ruined my sister's birthday because she lied and said that i was being mad while she was and took away my chance to finally enjoy my last days of holiday. ######

YTA - you wouldn't be getting a laptop at all, after that kind of behavior. >I was promised a laptop for a whole year but then the promise was broken and then they said that they dont have the money for an expensive laptop You realize there's a pandemic on, record numbers of people out of work, people are struggling to make ends meet. If your parents can't afford an expensive laptop after all, that doesn't make them assholes. You have the right to be disappointed, but your over the top tantrum makes you seem disgustingly entitled. And your sister didn't do anything to you, so you're an extra asshole for ruining her birthday because you're mad at your parents. >In my view my mother ruined my sister's birthday because she lied and said that i was being mad while she was and took away my chance to finally enjoy my last days of holiday. Your view is wrong. ######

My daughter recently turned 18 and her boyfriend is 20. They’ve been together for three years, and my daughter has constantly asked to stay the night at his house or have him stay at our house, and every single time I’ve said no. I just don’t think it’s appropriate to have a couple their age sleeping together. That’s how it was when I was her age, and I intend to keep it the same way for her. My daughter and her boyfriend ‘hang out’ almost every day, and my curfew for her is midnight. I usually fall asleep before she comes home, but I always see her home in the morning. She wasn’t at home this morning, though. I wake up at 6 AM to go to work, and I peeked in her room and saw she was gone. I immediately called her, she picked up and told me she slept over at her boyfriend’s house because ‘they both accidentally passed out.’ I told her to come home immediately. Her boyfriend brought her over and I grounded her, telling her she can’t see him for one week. She got extremely upset going on and on about how she’s an adult now and doesn’t see an issue if she stays over with him. She’s living under my roof and I feel disrespected that she flat out ignored my rule I’ve had set for three years now. I told my husband about this and he agrees he’s a bit uncomfortable with it, but that she’s an adult so he doesn’t really care. I strongly disagree. My daughter has been furious at me ever since and is currently giving me the silent treatment. AITA? Update: I wrote this when I was still a bit heated from the incident, and I understand the comments telling me I am indeed the AH. I’m going to try to eventually mend things with my daughter, I realize the punishment was harsh. As for the foul messages I’m getting telling me I’m better off dead, I’m very sorry you feel that way over me simply being stuck in my ways. It’s just how I was raised. I’ll try to work on it. ######

YTA - you will lose your daughter like this ######

I have an 18 year old daughter from a 1 night stand , at the time the girl (Claire) was pregnant I begged her to get an abortion since I was in no position to raise a child but she refused and after she gave birth to (Rebecca) she screwed over me by filing for child support. I have never been late on a payment, but I also rarely see Rebecca ( a couple of times a month) and I don't have that good of a relationship with her. So about 6 years ago my rich uncle didn't have kids) left me all of his money. Thankfully, inheritance doesn't count as income in regards to child support so Claire couldn't touch it. So I am able to live well above what my nominal income would allow me to. Recently, Rebecca came to me and asked if I would help pay for he college (she was accepted into her dream school and committed to it knowing that she and her mother couldn't afford it). We had a conversation about it in which I basically told her no and she left off crying. Later on, her mom called me and also pleaded with and then got rude to me and accused me of being a bad person and etc. I got rude with her too and then she just hung up. I thought that this was the end of it, my Claire and Rebecca reached out to my wife and pleaded with her. My wife said that we should help pay for the college for my daughter since we could easily afford it and it isn't fair that I'm willing to pay that much money for our kids private schooling but not Rebecca's college. I told my wife that I had no legal nor moral obligation to Rebecca beside the child support that I pay and that if Claire can't make it work with that money then it's on her. AITA? ######

YTA - You weren't "screwed over" by being required to help meet the needs of your daughter. She is your daughter and it appears that you don't give a shit about her beyond the impact she has on your life. In other words, you're the selfish asshole ######

I am a mom 28 and have a son, I am not one of those crazy Karen's that think my son is perfect, he can be a bit rude and has a problem stealing his sister's candies but he is my son. The other day we were visiting a friends house, the friend has a pair of black labs who are the cutest and had recently had puppies. When we where over at the house their kids were showing off the puppies to mine, and was letting my kid handle one of them. Well while me and my friend were talking we all walked outside and while going out the door my kid tripped and accidentally landed on the puppy he was carrying. The poor thing died, and I mean that's very sad by friend went snake yelling at my kid for the accident. I told her off telling her he didn't mean too, she responded that I shouldn't raise my kids to be clumsy. I told her I didn't get the big deal that there were 5 other puppies and she got mad and kicked us out. Now she won't talk to us and I can't help but feel like I might be in the wrong but I don't think she should have attacked my kid like she did. ######

YTA - you should’ve taken over the talking to (make it less traumatic for kid, but get point across that he can hurt other living things), but instead you got mad at person who has clear right to be upset. And to make it worse, you belittled the loss by saying there are other puppies. Should’ve accepted it was a tragic accident that was caused by the adults, for not monitoring small child with small puppy ######

I am planning to go away this weekend to the mountains with my girlfriend. My wife and I have already agreed to end our marriage, but we have not told our daughter yet. My wife knows I am seeing someone and about the trip. She doesn't agree with what I am doing and feels neither of us should date until we're officially separated at the least, but that's not really relevant to my question I guess. The issue here is that my wife feels I am disrespecting her and our daughter by "stepping out" before we've had a chance to tell our daughter we're divorcing. She thinks the least I could do is not go on trips with my girlfriend until our family has had a chance to come to terms with the divorce and that by not waiting I am being selfish and putting my wants above the well being of our daughter, which makes me an asshole. My wife thinks it is unfair and disrespectful to our daughter because she should have time to process this before she has to deal with a new woman being in her dad's life. I don't see this as an issue because I have no plans to bring my girlfriend into my life any time soon, but my wife worries about our daughter finding out somehow and then spiraling because of the shock of a divorce and new relationship. I don't think everything my wife has said is unreasonable, but life goes on and can't be stopped because the timing is far from idea. There's no guarantee how our daughter will react. She may never be okay with me seeing someone else or going away with them, so postponing the trip doesn't make any sense to me. I also give less weight to m wife's views because she's been the one wanting to delay telling our daughter, so it isn't fair to then hold my life hostage until she's ready. This trip has nothing to do with her or our daughter, and it has no affect on either of them. Why would I be the asshole for going away for the weekend when our marriage is over and as far as I am concerned it's really none of their business anyway. AITA? ######

YTA - You need to finish your current business first. Not sure why there is a rush to go on vaca with a new girl. ######

We’re expecting twins in October and have obviously been suggesting names, we could have two girls/two boys (to sum up; we don’t know the genders) I’ve picked; Gabriella and Isabella Caleb and Joshua Ordinary, decent names that won’t make people take a double take and won’t ruin their chances for a job in the future. My wife is dead set on these names; Roman - Xander and Luca - Beau. Freya and Eliza - Florence. I don’t even think middle names are necessary but she does, not that anyone ever uses middle names. But I think the names are ridiculous, would you take a child seriously if they’re called Roman - Xander? No? Me neither! Xander is the name of her uncle so I can kind of get that (it’s not my fault her grandmother used ridiculous names too) I’ve told her several times to drop the names, we’re not using the names at all, they’re stupid and our children will get mocked over them. She bought the names up to her family; her grandmother cried when she found out my wife wants to use the name Xander in memorial of her uncle so I think it was a guilt trip move to make me feel bad, spoiler alert; didn’t work. I told her and her family that the names are fucking stupid and I will not use them. My wife is upset with me and we aren’t talking unless it’s about the babies. My sister thinks I was overly harsh and once my wife sees the babies she’ll realise how ridiculous the names are. AITA? (We do have a good relationship until it comes down to the babies names) ######

YTA - You may not like them, and see a middle name as useless but they are by no means ridiculous and to me the first names seem as ordinary and decent as yours Your argument should be about finding names you both like, not ridiculing her choices ######

My wife got into a car accident a year ago and has been in a wheelchair since. Since then, she’s refused to go back to her job, even though they have adequate accommodations. She also has let go of herself; she’s skinny to the point she’s gaunt, and she never does anything productive around the house. She used to be this I can do it all working mom who wore Louboutins and Manolo Blahniks to work. However, she hasn’t touched them since the accident and I figured she’d never be using them. So when my cousin wanted designer shoes, I ended up giving them to her. My wife found out about it today and became uncontrollably angry. She demanded that they are returned. I call up my cousin and she says she ended up selling them because she got bored of them. My wife then accuses me of only valuing her for her looks and says I’m not the man she married. I am angry but say nothing even though I want to remind her she’s not the woman I married. Since then, she only speaks to our daughter, who is also upset. AITA? For the past year, she’s done nothing that would indicate she’d ever want to dress up again. ######

YTA - you gave away her Louboutins?!??? Those shoes were probably sentimental to her and they weren’t yours to give away. Your cousin also sounds like an AH. Who asks someone for designer shoes and then turns around and sells them? You owe your wife some new shoes, mister! ######

Throwaway because my roommate uses Reddit. Anyway, this past weekend I moved with my gf into a new apartment with a friend of mine. I've moved a few times over the past couple years and I hate it every time. Now that I'm doing a little better in life I decided to hire movers to avoid some of the hassle of the larger items. My gf and I moved all of our smaller stuff (books, clothes, linens, etc.) over the course of the past couple weeks but I needed help moving all of our larger stuff so I hired some movers. We picked up our moving truck and met the movers at our old apt. That's kind of where I ran into the predicament. We hired two movers and when they showed up, one was a female. I normally would be totally fine with this but I had already moved all of the smaller stuff to the new place and was mostly looking for help moving the big stuff like our couch, dressers, bed, etc. I felt like I needed to spot her going up and down the stairs with the heavy stuff and it kind of negated the main reason I hired movers: saving time and worry. She didn't end up dropping anything in the end but it took some of my attention away from moving other stuff on what was a very hectic day moving two different apartments into one. I paid the two movers the same amount ($150 for 3 hours of work) and then this is where I got into an issue with my gf. I paid the male mover a $30 tip and the female mover a $20 tip. My gf was pretty irate but I felt it was justified since I had to spend extra time worrying about the mover dropping anything during the move. She says I should have still paid them the same. So I turn it over to you guys, AITA? ######

YTA - You FELT like you had to spot her - you should have stepped back and given her a chance to prove to you your sexist thoughts were wrong. You CHOSE to step in b/c you FELT whatever it was you felt - you should have tipped the same. The dude benefitted from your stepping in - did he not??? YES - YES HE DID. So it was 100% sexisit b/c it was based on gender & your own interpretation of abilities. ######

I'll just try to keep this short. I have these two friends and they are a couple. They're literally obsessed with each other and spend every waking hour together. The problem is in the fact that they look very similar to each other — creepily similar. Essentially, if you saw them out on the street, you'd assume they were twins. Most of the people at our school actually thought the same thing for a while. We hang out together often and they've recently picked up this weird habit of always wearing matching outfits when we're out. There would be nothing wrong with that if, as I mentioned before, they didn't look almost completely identical. They're very "open" about their relationship in public and always kiss, hug each other, etc. You can probably tell that they get some weird looks from nosy people out on the street who probably assume they're siblings. They whisper, take pictures, laugh, etc. This makes me kind of embarrassed to be out with them because, y'know, it's an embarrassing situation to be put in, so I told them that if they really want for us to hang out in public they should just stop making it easier for people to think that something weird is going on. They told me I was being an asshole and that this showed that I don't really care about them and care more about some "random strangers" taking pictures. I think that my point is pretty valid. AITA? ######

YTA - You don't have to spend time with them. ######

Throwaway because I don't want this tied to my main.  I've been dating this girl for 8 months now. She's honestly amazing and I can almost see our future together. She has a 3 year old daughter from a past relationship, whom I've never met. I've seen pictures, videos, and heard her gush about her daughter but I've never formally met her.  Couple of days ago, I was out doing some small grocery shopping, I saw my girlfriend with her daughter in the store, I thought that it would be nice to approach her to say a quick hello. I tried to place a small kiss on her lips, but she dodged my kiss, which I found very rude and odd. Her daughter was very hyper, and quite sweet. She would enthusiastically wave and say hi to most people, including me. I offered to help her load her groceries in her car, but she politely declined. When she was instructing her daughter to say a proper goodbye, my girlfriend referred to me as her "friend" rather than her "boyfriend" which I thought was rather insulting.  When we were on a call, I asked her why she didn't introduce me formally to her daughter, didn't allow me to help her and why she dodged my kiss. I explained to her that I thought that her behavior towards me was rather cold, and unlike how she usually was. She apologized, but told me that I was slightly overreacting.  AITA? ######

YTA - you don't get to decide when she formally introduces you to her daughter, you trying to force the situation is a huge overstep. Check yourself. ######

I threw a customers silicon wedding band in the garbage and all hell broke loose So I was at work and I found this wedding band on the ground in the afternoon and decided to keep it on the cash register. Come the next morning I see it’s still there so I just decided to toss it. A few hours later mr dude comes through asking if anyone had seen a band and my staff knew that I’d found it yesterday and were all looking at me like where is it. I then responded and said “I threw it away.” Pointed at the garbage can and walked away. They expected me to look through the can and I had to be talked to like I did something wrong. I’m an adult if I lose something I don’t expect the world to find my lost item. My job is cashier not lost and found warden or dumpster diver. And also how do you lose a wedding band when it’s strapped to your finger. I really don’t feel bad but am failing to see the reason everyone was so upset with me. Dude lost his ring it got thrown away. Tough shit dude. ######

YTA - you could have kept this longer. This is extremely rude. I think you might be a troll. ######

My daughter is 18 years old and she has her own account where I put in $65 every month as her allowance, now she’s been saving up for months and had over $500. Me and my wife were kind of afraid that she would waste all that money in stupid things like video games or consoles which would hinder her time she needs to put in her studies, so we started making her pay for little things saying we’d reimburse. For example she wanted a milkshake so we made her pay for milkshakes for all of us, and she needed a haircut so we made her pay for it, and stuff like that. Turns out she has been keep a pretty detailed record of every spending that we made her do( logs, bills, excel sheets) and she estimated that we owe her about $200 and that she needs it back. I keep making excuses, because I don’t want her to be so money minded. My brother thinks I’m an asshole but I’m doing this for her own good. AITA ######

YTA - you could have had a serious discussion about spending money wisely toward things and her future but instead you played some game expecting her to run out of money. She’s caught you in your own lie, you said you’d reimburse her . She has the proof pay up and stop the games and have a serious discussion that your worried she might buy something that will effect her concentration and studies She’s proven that she’s reliable and can keep a track of spending ######

So my first time writing here I will try to do my best! ​ Last weekend we went to this nice lake where you could swim and have picnics and parking was absolutely packed. Our region has done really well with covid-19 and this was up north so not many people. regardless the parking was packed and we found a parking spot far away and we had our grandma with us as well. she is old and so walking isn't exactly easy for her especially in 30-degree centigrade weather. While we were finding a picnic spot a parking spot opened up right next too where we wanted too set up our picnic. I quickly stood in the parking spot to prevent another person to park in it. while my dad brought my grandma in the car. people came by and I told them we had a senior with us and they moved on. but this one couple got really mad and started arguing about how too we should park in the handicap zone (the lake didn't have one) and just swearing overall, he was holding up all the cars behind him and people were getting cheesed af. I still kept my ground until he eventually moved on. ​ I know it isn't the most climactic situation, but I am curious am I the Ass Hole? ######

YTA - You can't reserve spots like that. If your grandmother has problems getting around, she needs to get a handicapped placard that you can hang in your car for when she's with you. That's what it's for. ######

This is a throwaway for obvious reasons, but a couple of days ago it was my friend’s birthday and my friend came out as gay and she was accepted by her whole group except for me. Now I am not homophobic but I don’t like gay people. We had a party where I pulled her into a separate room and told her to drop the act, she said that she didn’t know what I was talking about. I said that being gay is not a lifetime thing and she was just on a phase, she told me that she was in fact gay and that I was being really weird. I told her that she was the weird one and that I hoped that god would help her move on from this phase. She ran out of the room crying and when I exited all of my friends were calling me a bitch and a couple of other mean things. I feel a bit bad, but I think I am helping her in her life. ######

YTA - you are homophobic. And this seems like a troll. ######

My (26f) little sister (23f) has always been very experimental with her hair, starting with hot pink at age 11 and progressing from there. She had been mentioning wanting to bleach her hair so she could go light purple. She wanted to get her hair bleached professionally, and she would do the purple herself. But then COVID hit, and she wasn’t able to make an appointment to go in. Now, I have a friend who does hair, and while I admittedly hadn’t thought about doing my hair this color until my little sister kept mentioning it, I also wanted to be brave like my little sister always had been, and I asked my friend to do my hair. My little sister is livid. She can’t believe I would ‘steal’ her idea, and she said she was sorry I never had the confidence to do stuff like this, but I could have at least gone for a darker shade of purple. She did say all of this very calmly, but she felt the need to remind me that she was constantly compared to me growing up, and her personal style was developed to help at least make the ‘disappointment’ intentional, and while it may be silly that she is so upset, as the ‘favored’ older sister, I wouldn’t understand. My mom says she’s just overreacting and being childish, but I’m starting to think my mom ‘always being on my side’ has added to my little sisters frustration. TLDR: Little sister feels like I’m trying to creep in on her style, when she’s always been the ‘alternative’ one, and I’ve always been the more mainstream one. ######

YTA - you admittedly took your sisters idea and even go as far to note that you hadn't even thought about doing anything at all until she said it. It's hard to tell from the context here but reading between the lines it sounds like you did EXACTLY what she wanted to do herself, as far as down to the tone and shade. In addition, doing so while you knew she was bummed about having to wait because of COVID. Had she had the opportunity to move forward with that, would you have copied her? Likely not. That is what makes you TA. ######

we had been talking online for a couple of weeks, she seemed like a cool person and we seemed to get along really well. I drove about 20 minutes to go pick her up. As soon as she stepped in the car the Vibe was way off. She wouldn’t really speak, and I felt like she was sort of ignoring me while constantly texting on her phone. We got to the movies, picked one out, and settled to watch our movie. I asked if she wanted anything to drink or some popcorn and she only half heartedly gave a noncommittal no while still mainly on her phone. Right as the movie was starting I had the idea of just taking off. I didn’t want to settle for a 2 and a half hour long movie with someone who I knew there was no future or connection with. Under the false pretense of me going to get some popcorn, I left. I went to the front counter and got my ticket refunded for my movie and drove home. If someone does not seem interested in you That should be it, and I figured that because we were so close to her home she would be able to Uber home. AITA? ######

YTA - why go through all that effort. You're not going to chat during the film. And the adult thing to do would have been to confront her about it - not fucking ditch her in a movie. ######

I don't think my MIL likes me very much. She seems like she tries to hide it, but i can tell she isn't happy to have me for her DIL. My husband comes from a very traditional southern family, with a long line of pageant queens and housewives. GMIL was both and clearly looks down on me. MIL and GMIL (her MIL, not her mom) are very close and sometimes if feel like GMIL is MIL's attack dog. I recently found out that MIL hosted a birthday lunch for GMIL and invited all of the women in the family except me. My husband said i shouldn't confront her, because she isn't obligated to include me, but i confronted her anyway. MIL said GMIL specifically asked her not to invite me, because she finds my political beliefs offensive and she thinks I've been rude to her husband, though MIL looked like she really enjoyed telling me this. I told her that i think she should have refused to host the party. MIL said that we were obviously raised differently, but she respects her elders and would never dream of refusing her MIL. I insisted that she should not have excluded me and MIL said i was making her uncomfortable with my begging and she was done with the conversation. ######

YTA - while the way they treat you is shitty, they aren't obligated to invite you at all. Just like you aren't obligated to invite them to any event you plan. Saying she should've not hosted since you weren't invited makes you come off as entitled. They seem like assholes in general, but in this specific situation, you are. If this is how the relation is, and has been, why would you want to go anyway? Sounds like it would've been awkward and tense. ######

So I have a habit of calling out to people on bike/walking paths "passing left" and/or "plingeling" (the sound of a bike bell) when coming up from behind before passing whilst exercising, running or biking. This can be used together with a real bike bell but I've found that calling out is more noticeable. Here I have to admit that I when passing people that wear headphones and that take up the majority of the path without moving, since they don't hear me, can get an extra call just when passing just to scare them and make them aware that they need to share the path. I know this is somewhat of a bitch move but I'm just so fed up with people taking up unnecessary space just because they're selfish or inconsiderate. This time I was moving up on a teenager from behind getting ready to pass him. He was biking in the middle of the bike lane, leaving precious little space on either side. I was going for a left side pass since we have right hand traffic here. He was wearing headphones and not holding on to the handlebars of his bike. I called out. No response. So when passing, quite close due to the space issue, I called out again and spooked him. This resulted in him twitching, our handlebars locking and him falling of his bike into the road. No cars came just then luckily so no real harm done. The discussion after went something like this: \-"Are you ok?" \-"Yeah..." \-"You shouldn't wear headphones if it means you can't hear the traffic when biking." \-"Why'd you scare me so I fell?" \-" I tried calling out before but you didn't hear me." \-"But I couldn't hear you because I was wearing headphones!" \-"Exactly..." So AITA for scaring people when passing because they're wearing headphones? ######

YTA - whether he was unsafe or not, you caused the accident. ######

So in our drama class, we decided to host a play. The play goes around the central theme of twins being mistaken for each other and deciding on taking advantage of that. The entire play is based on the fact that the twins are identical. We decided on doing this play because my best friend has an identical twin, and they both are in drama. However, we still had to hold an audition for fairness and for the other roles, and I was the casting director. My best friend (lets call her twin 1) auditioned for the role of twin 1 and got it, but when it came to the role of twin 2, another girl came to audition. It was her and twin 1's twin, and I decided to give the role to the twin for obvious reasons (it is necessary for the twins to be identical). Non-twin filed a complaint to the school and the drama council that I was racist (my friend was white and so was her twin, while non-twin was black) and I had to explain that while she did a great job, but to be in the play you have to look similar to the twin and be fitted to the character. She said that I was racist and that her skin color should not limit her roles. Anyway, I was cut off from my drama club, and I am shunned by my entire school. There are people who don't think I am racist, but they are too afraid to say so. I saw the practice of the play, and I HATE how people are pretending the story makes sense, but since they look so different, it absolutely looks crazy. Imagine the whole point of the story being that A and B look alike, but A is a 5'7 white girl and B is a 5'2 black girl. I think people are crazy for pretending they look identical, and that "they do not see a difference". Maybe I am racist for not letting a girl get the role for how she looked/the color of her skin, but I know if she was white I would not have given her the role and nobody would call me racist. Am I the asshole? ######

YTA - What's the point of holding auditions if you have already decided beforehand that the role will be going to someone specific? That was an asshole thing to do. It's not racist and I do believe you that the race of the people are just coincidence, but it's a shitty thing to do nonetheless. ######

So here in Europe, we don't have a culture of tipping. People here unlike America, pay employees a living wage. I work as a pizza delivery courier to have some pocket money and my location has an American customer who's a regular. He is known to tip 5 quids minimum and would sometimes tip 10 pounds on special holidays. At first, when I started it felt weird, getting free money while on the job but later on it got annoying. It feels like he tips because he thinks we're lower class and need his generous gift to survive. Last week, he ordered his weekly meal and when he handed me the tip, I refused and told him this isn't America and that we don't need his charity. He just stared at me like I'm some huge arsehole and when I got back to pick up my second delivery, my manager didn't seem happy. I got scolded and they told me to not come back for two weeks (basically 2 weeks of no work and money). ######

YTA - what are you talking about? Tipping is incredibly common in the UK, just not expected. What a totally bizarre thing to get upset and confrontational about. The fact is even with our higher minimum wage, tips are a big part of server's total wages. I assume this also means you never tip anyone either, like waiters, taxi drivers, delivery drivers? If so that makes you a double asshole ######

My son and his wife are currently staying with us though after this they have a deadline to move out. My wife and I were out of town for a couple of days and we got back late at night. The next morning we were in bed and my son was at work (they only have one car) it was about eleven but we were tired and just hanging out in bed. DIL came in our room without knocking, looked at us in disgust and started to whine about how hungry she was and that there was no food. I pretty much told her to shut up and she should have planned better. She asked if she could use one of our cars to go to the grocery store and I said no. She came back twenty minutes later and started freaking out about how we’re just laying in bed doing nothing and we don’t need our cars. That time I told her to shut the fuck up and if she came in my room again I’d kick her out of the house. About ten minutes later my wife looked out the window and saw DIL leaving on a bike. We don’t use the bikes that much and we don’t really care about them but that doesn’t mean she can steal them. My wife went downstairs and found DILs seven year old son watching tv by himself. This pissed me off so I called the police and reported her for stealing the bike and abandoning a child. DIL went psycho and was screaming about how we ruined her life and we’re evil and my son was actually in tears over this shit. ######

YTA - They are currently living with you and have not yet hit your deadline for moving out. You make no mention of any agreements that you may or may not have made as to who buys food in the house. DIL told you that there was no food in the house, and yes - she should have planned better. But you were aware that she had no transportation and although you have no obligation to let her use your car - You were aware that there was a seven-year-old child in the house and there was no food?!? So she gets proactive and uses a bike that you openly admit you don't care about and don't use - and it's not like she can stick a seven-year-old on the bike with her - and she goes to get food. And absolutely she should have told you that she was doing this and that she was leaving the child with you. And your reaction to someone living in your home with a young child- when there is no food - using a bike to go get food is to call the police and report the bike stolen and the child abandoned?!? I was going to go with everybody sucks but- your extreme overreaction & petty behavior says a lot about what kind of parenting your son received growing up. I'd love to hear DIL's side of this... ######

My cousin (17m) says after he graduates from high school he wants to be a navy seal. I laughed my ass off when i heard that becuase he's at least 80 pounds overweight and he can't even do a single pull up, nor can he even walk up a flgiht of stairs without getting winded. He is too out of shape to even join the airforce. As I was laughing he asked why i thought it was funny and i explained to him that there's no way he could join any military branch with how out of shape he is. He says im an asshole and I told him he needs to be realistic as there's no way the world's most elite special forces are going to elt him join if he can't do a single pushup. ######

YTA - there’s a difference between giving constructive criticism and being a total dick ######

I have 2 roommates and we all have our own bedrooms. Both of them have TV’s in their room and I don’t. Usually, they each watch TV in their own room and I use the living room TV because I don’t have a TV in my bedroom. It works great. Today, I wanted to watch TV because it’s COVID and I have nowhere to go and nothing to do. One of my roommates is home and she is using the living room TV. This leaves me no TV options except to watch on my tiny laptop in my room which sucks because I’d rather watch on a 65”. So I asked my roommate if she wouldn’t mind watching her show in her room since she has a TV in there and I can use the living room TV. She got kind of defensive and weird and hesitantly said fine after she finished her episode. Now I feel bad because I didn’t want to kick her out but also she has 2 options for TV and I only have 1. AITA? ######

YTA - The living room is a COMMON SPACE. You don't get to dictate who uses it and how much. If you want to have your own TV where you dictate who watches and when, move your TV into your bedroom. Why should you get to have control of your bedroom and the living room? ######

My wife finally succumbed to cancer after a three year long battle. As her spouse, I had to take responsibility of her body. However, though we were legally spouses, for the last two and a half years my wife and I had been living apart. I had my own separate loft while the kids (13F,12F,10F) and her stayed in the house. My wife was not lucid for about a month before her death. As such, she had no ability to write or even dictate her will. In addition, during the past year I have found love again with my girlfriend (29), and she expressed that she was uncomfortable with me practically building a shrine for a woman from another relationship. I was also uncomfortable reliving memories with a woman who, for many years, was the cause of a lot of emotional trauma for me. All her insults and put downs made it impossible for me to stay in the house. In addition, a funeral will probably be fraught with tension from her side of the family. Therefore, I made the decision to donate her entire body to science and signed off on all the papers. Immediately my daughter notified the people on her side and they said that I was violating the Greek Orthodox beliefs she had held throughout her life. She demanded I try to reverse my decision but I said I couldn’t do that. AITA? I feel funerals are for the living and it wasn’t like I was not contributing her body to a good cause. I also do not know what exactly my late wife would have wanted for her funeral since she suddenly became unable to communicate. ######

YTA - the funeral is for your children and her family to grieve, you and your girlfriend used it as a petty excuse to get revenge. You've probably lost your kids respect for the rest of their lives for a girlfriend that might not be around in the year. How someone as immature and childish as you has three kids is beyond me. Your sad excuse that you didn't know what your late wife wanted is pathetic, because you know it wasn't to have her body donated to science. You could have handed off the responsibilities to her family, but you had to get in your one last dig. I find it hard to believe that she was the problem in the relationship. You didn't donate her body for a good cause, because it was obviously meant for revenge. ######

My cousin \[18F\] finished high school some time ago and made a post on Facebook that she now decided to give her books for free and if we need the books to contact her. Luckily, I was one of the first to see the post and immediately messaged her because I need the books for this year and next and they are ridiculously expensive ($50-60 per book). So we talked and stuff and in the end we established that she’s going to give me most of the books. I was happy and all until she told me that I will have to pay for transportation. Here is where I lost it because transporting books from her country to mine is expensive and I in no way am going to pay that much money. I might as well just buy the books myself instead of getting the second hand books. We had a huge argument which ended up with her blocking me which made me even more pissed and I commented on the fb post that in reality she isn’t giving the stuff for free (so that the others won’t waste time like I did). AITA here? Or is my cousin the asshole for not announcing on the post that transportation WON’T be free? Also if u guys have any advice on how she could make the transportation costs cheaper plzzzzzz dm me and I’ll give you the details. DON’T comment your advice here though because Rule 9. If this still breaks the rule I’ll remove this paragraph. ######

YTA - That’s some choosing beggars shit right there. Why would your cousin pay for you to have free books when she’s already giving them away...? I do hope she had the chance to explain that she gives away the book but refuses to pay for the shipping fees. ######

The other day my husband and I were going through old pictures of us. We are both in our mid-30s now. We were looking at some pictures of him when he was in college and some when we first met. He had such a nice body then. He’s let it go a little bit since then. He’s not fat or anything, I’d say he has more of a dad bod. When we were looking at those pictures I said “dang I miss when you looked like that. You were sooooo hot.” I thought this would be taken as a compliment. Most people have better bodies in their college days than when they are older. It’s expected. He got really upset and quite after that. We haven’t had sex since then and he hasn’t really even taken his shirt off in front of me. I talked to him about it finally and assured him that I still found him attractive. He said that he still feels insulted and insecure now. I never meant for it to be taken that way. I’ve spoke to my girl-friends about it. They agreed with me and said it didn’t sound harmful. Was I the asshole for making a comment like that? ######

YTA - that's a backhanded compliment if I've ever heard one. Man you USED to look so good! I USED to find you hot! Your friends must be assholes too, to back you up in this. ######

My husband and I are selling our house, and we were touring a woman and her husband who are getting ready to start a family. They offered a full cash offer, and it was right at what we were selling the house for, however, they were talking about making so many renovations. For example, the wife looked in the kitchen and said “I wish there was an island in here, but we can figure that out”, there are 2 smaller bedrooms in the home right next to each other and she talked about knocking the wall down to make one big room. The whole time I just felt upset because this was the home my parents built and my kids grew up in and I made sure to never make significant changes because I did not want to destroy their hard work. When they were leaving I said we’ll keep in touch , I called the couple later that night and told them we’ll be moving on to a different buyer. I told my husband that I’m not interested in them purchasing our home. He thought I was joking until I explained my reasoning. He said I was too attached to this house, and that If I was going to have so many specifications on the buyer then he’s going to choose himself. He called the couple back today and they said they found a new house but to thank the both of us. He was livid. He started going off about how it’s taken so long for us to find someone to actually pay the full price, especially with a full cash offer, but now we’re either going to have to settle or wait forever to get a buyer like that. I told him no amount of money is going to make me okay with the destruction of my childhood home. Now he’s angry, and won’t talk to me, unless he absolutely has to AITA? ######

YTA - That was a really stupid thing to do, especially without consulting your husband first. Just because you sell the house doesn't mean you lose the memories in it. Also, once it's sold you will never be going back so you won't ever see what they do. Whoever buys it will likely still renovate, so turning down a full cash offer at asking is INCREDIBLY dumb. ######

My apartment complex has a strict no smoking policy which includes you can’t even have cigarettes, pipes, vapes, or anything on the property. My neighbor is a young girl, looks college-age. I was walking by one day and saw her window was open, and there were a bunch of bongs in her apartment. I pondered it and ended up confronting her. She told me she doesn’t smoke, but that she used to and still glass blows for a living. She said that since the pandemic she’s lost her studio space and is just selling her remaining pieces online, shipping them out herself. She begged me not to tell the landlord, and I told her to get them all out and stop bringing them in the apartment because the rules were clearly in all of our leases, and she’s no exception. She said that if she did that, she couldn’t pay the rent and had nowhere else to ship them from. I however did give her a warning and an ultimatum. She refused, so I told the landlord. The landlord told her to get rid of them or face eviction. Now she’s being evicted because she isn’t able to pay the rent anymore. I’m feeling a bit guilty because I did tell the landlord, but ultimately it was her decision to bring illegal items in the apartment and she’s no exception to the rule. ######

YTA - That sounds like an illegal eviction if she wasn't smoking. Tenant law can forbid you from smoking on the property, but there is no way they can lawfully evict for having glass bongs. This story sounds like bullshit. ######

My wife has caught the baby fever again and wants another kid, I do as well but want to wait until we are in a bit of a better financial situation. We already have 1 child so I saw how much that cost us. She is late for her period by 4 days and has already taken 3 pregnancy tests, two of which have come back negative and one has come back with a very faint positive but we found out the test is prone to false positives. She wants to use more to give herself piece of mind but I told her its wasteful and to wait until it's been at least of week after she was supposed to get her period before she uses more. She is upset with me and says I don't understand having to deal with the mystery of it which I agree but I think that waiting three or 4 more days wont change anything. Reddit, AITA? ######

YTA - Taking a couple extra tests is not hurting anyone. The bigger problem here is that she wants another child ASAP and you don't. Maybe you should work through that instead of snapping at her for spending a couple of extra bucks on pregnancy tests? ######

I know it's 100% my fault I left my glasses on the floor. I had 2000 things running in my mind, so to read stuff in small print I took them off and placed it on the floor next to the couch so noone could damage it. After wards, I saw what we had. Aka a fancy fit bit and new. I then ran to shower, as we returned from a days trip from DE and they said they aka ladies wanted to go out (in va).. Needless to say, someone kicked my glasses out enough my stepson stepped on it. I was mad(at myself). I went out solo because my only way to see was broken ($900 glasses). I came to accept my bad but then I return to my pc and I see the same kids treat my $300 headset like trash. I lost it. I told her that her kids lack basic common sense and cant even properly wash dishes from sink. Ive been nice enough to let their way glide but this was too much. There's a time for nice and a time to put them in place. Needless to say, I'm the bad guy here for items worth $1200 if they break and my glasses did. She said take it all away from them, even pc access(my pc) but I feel that's extreme. I want them to learn to respect property Aside from theirs. But now I'm the asshole. I feel these kids lack a no kiss ass dad who tells them in a non aggressive way to change. AITA? ######

YTA - sounds like you lack basic common sense (who leaves glasses on the floor and then thinks it’s someone else’s fault!), basic respect for others (how you treat them is not ok), and basic writing skills. ######

This is my first time posting on here. This shouldn’t be too long of a post. Our oldest son is 19 years old, he is a sophomore in college and goes to a small school about an hour away from our town. Last sunday, we got a call from him saying that he needed some money. I’m actually surprised he called his mom and not me first. But he told her that he was out at a bar and got a ticket for being underage and drinking there. She was pissed to say the least. She made him come home this weekend so she could see the ticket. We gave him the money, but agreed he eventually pay us back. She lectured him on how his actions are dangerous and we aren’t paying his rent for him to be getting tickets. I just called him a dumbass and told him to be smarter. My wife also interrogated him on how he got in the bar. She asked if he had a fake ID and he said no. He told her a friend knew a bartender and was able to get him and his friends in. She believed him. Now, I happen to know that my son has had a fake ID since he was a freshmen. I know all the college kids have them and I don’t think it’s a huge deal. I found it on his desk one day and asked him about it, I wasn’t mad I just said to be careful. I talked to him about it after the ticket and he said the cop took it. Anyways, I haven’t told my wife about this. I honestly don’t really plan to. She bought his story and she’s already mad enough at him. I know she’d be much angrier if she knew that he had one and that’s how he’s been getting alcohol. ######

YTA - sorry but your keeping the information from your wife What happens if she eventually does find out? The longer it takes the worse it will be for your son, and for you Imagine how she will feel if years down the line she finds out, not only did her son lie to her face, but you stood there and let it happen, now Maybe she will get over it But maybe not, marriages have crashed and burned over less The simple fact is your son is being paid for by you and your wife, and yet he lied to her face, and you allowed him too Your also lying by omission to your wife You lied the moment you saw the ID and didn’t respect your wife enough to tell her ######

My friend (we’ll call her Irene) is 21, and had her daughter very young, she’s only 6 months. Recently her and 2 of our friends were talking about having a weekend together, and Irene’s boyfriend would have their daughter. One of the girls in our “group” said we should all trip since we’ll have the night we get together and then another day to relax from the “hangover”. Irene said it sounds fun and she’s excited for our weekend together, but I told her it wasn’t a good idea. I asked what if something happened to her daughter while she was gone, or needed to leave immediately. She said her boyfriend can handle their daughter and if she absolutely needs to leave she’ll take an Uber. I told her she’s ridiculous and is an irresponsible parent if she’s that persistent on doing drugs when she has a daughter at home, and she can trip sit if she’d like, if we even decide to do it. Irene got a bit upset and said she just wanted to have fun with us, and the last time she did anything of that sort was around 2 years ago, and she’s allowed to have fun even though she has a child. I responded with just “irresponsible parent” and she left the group chat. My other 2 friends flipped out on me and said I should’ve just kept my mouth shut, and that Irene knows how to take care of her daughter, and Irene would never do anything that would put her daughter in danger. I told them she is being irresponsible, and they proceeded to leave the group chat. They all think I’ve ruined our weekend plans together, especially after not seeing each other for months. TLDR; my friend Irene who is 21 wants to do acid with 2 or our friends and I. She has a daughter, and I told her she’d be irresponsible to trip with us, but she’s welcome to be a trip sitter and still hang out. Her and our friends are mad at me, and said I ruined our weekend plans and should’ve kept my mouth shut. AITA? ######

YTA - She's leaving her child with the father. He can handle things. If she drank or smoked pot she couldn't safely drive home if there was an emergency with her daughter. Same concept but I doubt you would have a problem with her taking a single night off from her daughter to do that. Also let's look at this: >she’s welcome to be a trip sitter and still hang out You want her to mother YOU while you trip on acid. You want her to babysit you guys while you do drugs. This statement makes that clear. You want to use her so YOU feel safe. That's not her job. Her job is to keep her daughter safe, which she's doing by leaving her with the father. You are the asshole. ######

So a bit of a backstory is I’m a (27M) in a relationship with a (25M). We’ve been together for two years now, and I do love my boyfriend. The only thing is that he has a pretty severe stutter. His speech impediment isn’t so bad when it’s just me and him, but his anxiety towards his speech goes through the roof when we’re out in public. In the beginning of our relationship, he would always have me order or speak on his behalf because it lessened his anxiety. But for the past couple months, he’s been taking speech therapy classes and is determined to speak for himself now out in public. The only thing is that he still cannot speak well. Nobody understands him at restaurants, and what should be a quick two minute chat turns into a 30 minute drawn out conversation where the other person is clearly uncomfortable because they can’t understand him. So I’ve been continuing to speak on his behalf to make things easier for everyone, even though that goes against his wishes and it’s obvious he’s angry with me. He said he needs to practice speaking, but isn’t that what his therapy is for? It obviously makes other people uncomfortable and causes anxiety for my boyfriend, even though he’s trying not to admit it. So am AITA for continuing to speak on his behalf even though he’s told me to stop? ######

YTA - put yourself in his position, his anxiety is never going to go away if he is scared of a negative reaction caused by his stuttering, and there is a good chance his anxiety is causing his stutter to get worse. Let him see there is nothing to be afraid off and he might improve. ######

My gf says I'm an asshole since I complained about a restaurant online and in person for this. We went to a restaurant and everyone there was mexican and we were the only black people there. We tried to order our food and nobody there spoke English. I speak really bad spanish but I tried. This fucking pissed mr off, you shouldn't be allowed to run a business in america if nobody in the business speaks english, I lived in Latvia and over there you need to speak Latvian in order to work, which I did. Anyways they mess our order up and give us shit we didnt order or even mention yet demanded we pay for it. We refused and only paid for the shit we order. I don't handle spicy food and I told them not to add spicy sauce or peppers yet they did. I left a bunch of bad reviews online and I told then this is the worst restaurants rxpierence I've had. My gf says I'm an asshole but I dont think so. ######

YTA - Once you found out there was a language barrier that made you uncomfortable, you should have left. They are free to open a business in this country and speak whatever language they want, just as you are free not to give them your business and go elsewhere. If you want Latvian rules, you should move back to Latvia. In this US, we have the freedom to speak whatever language we want. ######

I’ve (36M) been with my wife (28F) for 7 years, we are currently expecting our first (she’s only 9 weeks along) **Disclaimer; this is the silliest argument I’ve ever had** Last night we were laying in bed when I noticed she had stretch marks from lower to mid back, I personally thought they were pretty, she has really smooth skin apart from the stretch marks she has on her thighs and now her back. I don’t know why but out of boredom I traced the stretch marks, bad move on my part. She asked what I was doing and I said I was tracing her stretch marks, she went silent. This morning she basically told me I shouldn’t have done that and I’m a giant AH for saying what I did knowing she was insecure about the ones on her thighs, she left around 7am and hasn’t come back since. I don’t think what I did is that serious, but, AITA? ######

YTA - not for tracing the stretch marks, that just seemed like an innocent mistake Your an ass for saying it was the silliest argument you have had, don’t belittle her emotions and feelings as silly ######

My cousin (18f) and I (21f) were never really close because she was the beautiful darling girl of the family while I was just the "smart" one. It also doesn't help that we were just two different people. My cousin is known to use so much photoshop and makeup on all of her pictures to make herself look older than she is. She's not aware of the real world and how some of the older men tend to be towards young women around her age. Today, my mom told me that my cousin got knocked up by her 22 year old boyfriend. I feel as if the boyfriend is only using her for her looks/ sex. My family has a long history of 16-20 year old women becoming mothers too quick. I'm the only one (so far) who isn't a mother at 21. I told my mom that my cousin had just fucked her life up and that she needs to get a job and not try to rely on her parents money. My mother got mad because I wasn't like everyone else in the family who was excited and kissing my cousin's ass. I blame her parents for not putting her on birth control when I told them that I know guys around her boyfriend's age and how a lot of them are known to leave once they get the girl pregnant. I blame the boyfriend for not being mature enough to buy condoms. I defended myself by saying "if I've gotten pregnant at her age, you would be pissed off. Why are we kissing her ass for spreading her legs without protection." I understand that a pregnancy is a huge thing in my family because of the history of young women getting pregnant. It could also be the fact that I have a hormonal condition that would make it hard for me to have children if I wanted them and that i could be jealous that I might never have that experience myself. Am I the asshole for not being happy for my young cousin's pregnancy? ######

YTA - not for being underenthused, but for your general attitude/demeanor. You don't have to try to take away from her happiness by "blaming" the grandparents to be or demeaning her lifestyle choices. ######

I [16M] am very upset with my parents since they added a Firewall to our home WiFi. They did this without telling me, and since I frequently play video games on my PC, I immediately suspected something was wrong when my discord wasn’t loading up. I googled the issue and I found that half the websites I looked at to solve my issue would load and were blocked. Upon investigating I suspected they added a firewall to our WiFi, and my theory was confirmed when Snapchat wouldn’t work on my phone with the WiFi on, but with data it worked fine. Now this is where I might have been TA. I stormed my parent’s room asking why they blocked so many websites except ones they enjoyed. (Instagram worked and I know that my father likes to scroll through it on a daily basis). Their explanation was that my sister has been using TikTok. I asked them if punishing me for something my sister did wrong was fine with them, and my dad shrugged and said that the firewall worked and that he could add websites and apps I needed. I responded that there were too many to count and that due to the fact that a lot of my schoolwork gets done online now it would be a pain to have to do an assignment on a website and discover it is blocked due to our firewall. I advised to just punish my sister another way and remove the firewall but he refused. I then screamed at him that this was unfair and went back to my room. AITA? ######

YTA - Not for being mad, but for how you did expressed it. It would have taken, what, 10, maybe 20 minutes to get the various permissions for websites/apps added. Would that much time truly be so unbearable without the apps? You threw a tantrum that is unbecoming at your age. Personally, I hope your dad keeps everything off and restricts data on your cellphone for a week or so. ######

Many months ago, I promised my son that I am going to buy him a laptop because he wanted one really badly. However, after seeing his terrible school marks I decided that the laptop will cause nothing but distraction so I ended up not keeping my promise. My son was devastated obviously but he moved on after some weeks. ​ Everything was great until yesterday my daughter decided to bring up the discussion about the laptop again. She told my son that she saved enough money for it and is planning to buy him one today. I was surprised that my daughter managed to save up this much but also mad because I made it clear that he isn't allowed with a laptop. I told her she is not allowed to buy one but then she told me that she's doing it with "her" money. Let me be clear, that money is in NO WAY hers. The cash she has was given from me or my husband whenever she wanted to go out (and I guess she saved most of it) and money she got from her relatives during her birthday. Things escalated quickly and I ended up having to make my daughter give me back the money I and her dad gave her (she could keep the other part). ​ My husband is upset and doesn't agree with what I did and I'll admit I overreacted by asking her to give me my money back (I'll consider giving it back to her in a few days) but I still made it clear that my son isn't allowed to have a laptop yet. AITA here? ######

YTA - Not because you're saying no to her buying it, but because you're saying it's your money. It's not. When you give someone something, it becomes theirs. You should be proud she knows how to save *her* money. What you should have said was that as his mother, you're saying that he can't have a laptop no matter who buys it. You went in a really wrong direction with it. ######

Celia dumped me last night and gave me a list of reasons why. Some of them I can understand why and I should have been a better boyfriend to her but there is one that I don't get where's shes coming from. My now ex turned twenty one in November 2018. We had been dating for almost a year. So there's this indy movie theater in our town that shows old or foreign movies every weekend. And one weekend, they were going to be showing the Naruto movie for the first time. My friends and I fucking love Naruto but it was screening the same Friday as Celia's birthday. In hindsight, I should have just asked Celia if we could celebrate her birthday some other time but I had already been hyping her up on taking her out for a movie and drinks with friends and I already dug myself in too deep for it. And she was going to be out of the country for this study abroad thing so I wasn't to see her for months afterward. So Celia wanted to do drinks but she wanted to see another movie that was getting some pretty crappy reviews. So I talked her into watching the Naruto movie instead because it was awesome and it would be cool to watch a foreign film on her birthday (Celia loves foreign movies). She was reluctant but had a good time that night. I didn't think about it again until she brought it last night. Celia told me she was pissed that I pulled a bait and switch on her birthday plans. Especially at the bar after the movie when our friends were gushing about Naruto (her words, not mine), she felt left out and wishing she watched that new Harry Potter movie instead. Was it an asshole move though? I should have paid Celia more attention in hindsight but we got to do movie and drinks like she wanted? The theater was showing Naruto that one night only and she could have watched her movie any time she wanted, even in another country. ######

YTA - let me rephrase your post. “I wanted to go to a movie and it just happened to be on my GF birthday, I couldn’t get out of doing something for her on her birthday without looking like a jerk, so I tricked her into doing what I wanted to do. Basically I had a nice fun night and she just tagged along.” You said yourself that you didn’t treat her very well. Here’s the main reason why, you didn’t think about anyone but yourself. Next time, try thinking about what would make your partner happy, over your own feelings. (Within reason) ######

My wife is current angry because we’re supposed to be a team. I had kind of an odd childhood. My mom clearly didn’t want to be a mom and was almost never around. My grandfather was very rich and just let her live the heiress party girl lifestyle and pretend she didn’t have a kid. I know part of the time she was just off partying but a lot of times I was told she was sick or at the spa. She went to the spa enough that as an adult I was convinced it was some sort of rehab. When I was 12 she showed up with a man and casually told me they were married and I was coming to live with them. She had another kid and we were never allowed to talk about where she had been for 12 years. She had the emotional capacities of a toddler and would go from showering me in gifts to crying because I wasn’t receptive enough. My stepdad just got pissed every time I “made” her cry This has all left me with abandonment issues and a skewed sense of what is normal. Recently I wanted to confront my mom and ask about my childhood. My wife came for emotional support but my mom really doesn’t like my wife and when she realized what I wanted to talk abut asked for my wife to leave. I asked my wife to please give us space. My mom clearly didn’t want to tell me and made me promise multiple times that I wouldn’t tell my wife because she thought she would get some pleasure out of it. We had a good conversation and she told me about her childhood abuse, the mental illness she was diagnosed with, alcohol issues, and I was right about the spa being rehab. Now my wife is angry that I won’t tell her. I feel that even though we are married my mom has a right to just want me to know. ######

YTA - just a bit. You're letting your mother control your life again. It's as simple as that. She controlled you as a kid, put the blame on you for not responding like she thought you would and is telling you what you can and can't do as an adult. Here's the thing: this will drive a wedge between you are your wife. Your mother abandoned your for 12 years. Your wife wanted to be there for you, knowing your issues with your mother and the fears you have about being abandoned... She wanted to be there for you to support you and now you're shutting her out because the person who have you those issues told you to. How would you feel if the roles were reversed? ######

My son, James (23) has been dating Kelly (22) for three years. And, well, I don't like her. She has attitudes and views that conflict with mine and we've clashed more than once. However, there is an effort on both our ends to be amicable and I don't want to be one of those awful mother-in-laws you see in films and TV shos. Last week we had a family gathering and James proposed. Kelly said yes. We congratulated them, clapped, I gave them both a kiss and a hug and wished them all the best. I tried my best to contain my disappointment, but I guess it must have not been enough. James talked to me about it the next day and I told him how I felt. That I don't like Kelly, I don't think she is going to be a good wife to him, and I don't see their marriage working. However, and I reinforced this more than two times, I would not do anything to oppose their marriage, nor would I ever be rude or unpleasant to her. I have no say in who he chooses and I have to accept it. I said that I truly hope I am wrong in my judgement and that they have a wonderful marriage and life together. James wasn't too happy with my honesty and when I talked with my best friend about this, she said it was awful of me to be honest and that I should have just smiled and lied. AITA here? ######

YTA - it’s one to say “ I don’t like her” It’s another to say” she won’t be a good wife and your marriage won’t last.” Especially since you haven’t given any evidence that she will be a bad wife or that it won’t last ######

There are 4 of us living in a pretty sweet apartment in our college town overlooking this one sorority. A lot of girls from that sorority hang out in the building pretty frequently. Anyway so we have a huge balcony that the four of us were chilling on that’s on the second floor of the building and I guess within earshot of the sorority. Classes were delayed at our school, so we were having drinks (just the 4 of us) on our balcony. Eventually we started talking about some girls at our school in ways that any college guy might in private, saying things like “X is hot” or “Y got with Z” etc.... but at one point one of my friends (stupidly) mentioned that girls at the sorority nearby were “fun to play with, but just like playdough, not to eat” and he meant that in that those girls didn’t have the best track record for anything long term. So I guess a couple girls from the house next door heard him. About an hour later, he went to pick up food for all of us down the street and said that those girls saw him and yelled at him for what he said and what we were talking about, saying that we were being misogynists and the sort. We didn’t mean any I’ll intent, and we were all in our private apartment (I guess perhaps a little loud) so are we the assholes for what we were talking about? ######

YTA - it’s not only bad to say sexist, racist and homophobic things to people that are affected by them. It’s sexist to THINK that way about women, and if you weren’t sexist you would have corrected him. ######

I have two teen daughters (16 & 13) and 3 step sons (15, 17, 11). One daughter and one stepson share a bathroom and he always leaves the seat up which really bothers my daughter, we've both asked him numerous times to put the seat back down but he rolls his eyes and dismisses her. I put a little lock on the door and gave my daughter the key so now he has to go all the way to the guest bathroom downstairs and across Evey morning and during the day. My husband took it off the door but I put it back on the next day. My husband broke the lock and told me I couldn't do that and we got into an argument because it was more of a joke but I was hoping he would learn a lesson. AITA? I thought it was kind of funny and would also teach him to put the seat back down. My husband and stepson didn't see it as a joke and are upset. I can't tell the my stepson is upset just because his dad is, or is my husband upset just because his son is. ######

YTA - it’s a shit joke and imagine being in your sons shoes of needing the bathroom in the middle of the night and having to walk across the house to pee. try harder to get him to leave it down there are better ways of teaching children basic manners ######

My husband and I have been married now for over 10 years. We had our wedding in my home country although at the time we were both living in the US. In my home country there are certain customs that people follow in the wedding speeches. A couple of weeks before the wedding my dad gave my husband a book of examples detailing the customs to help him write his wedding speech. Basically, the groom is supposed to thank people and compliment the bridesmaids. We were giving out thank you gifts to my family members who had planned and thrown the wedding for us. So this was sort of a big deal for my husband to get right. Well, he did the thanking part perfectly. Got everything right, it all went very smoothly. However, he forgot, in his speech, to mention me AT ALL. The book did not tell him to compliment the bride, say how much he loves her and so forth. That was taken as given - the groom should want to do that regardless. For the most part I don't care, I think it's funny. But he regrets it - both because it represents an imperfection in his speech (he went on to become a professor and teach public speaking among other things) and partly because he hates to have let me down (maybe?). I take every opportunity to poke fun at him and remind him that he didn't pay me a single public compliment at our wedding. He hates that I do this. But he didn't mention me in his wedding speech! Am I the asshole, should I stop? ######

YTA - It's funny the first couple of times but being the butt of a joke over and over again gets old real fast. It's like you're holding a grudge over something small that happened years ago even though your husband felt bad enough and regretted it at the time. Why do you feel the need to keep rubbing his nose in it? Just stop already. ######

We had a new part time girl in our warehouse, a teenager, 15. She very soon becomes popular with us as she's hardworking, pleasant and sometimes give out snacks and small gifts. At first I like her too but recently during a casual conversation she brought up that she her family is actually quite rich, that is why she could afford gifts and such. When someone asked her why is she even working here when she could easily find other part time jobs that doesn't require as much labour and pays better, she answered that she worked here because she wants to train herself. She said that she wanted to prove to herself and her parents that she is a capable person if she could "lower her head down" and do "this kind of job" without a single complaint. I am not sure what other people thinks, but to me I sense an undeniable arrogance in her speech which triggered me off. Not starting a sob story but I am definitely not as privileged as her and the reason I am working there is because I had no other options. I kind of snappishly told her that she shouldn't be flattering herself. She is not "lowering" her head because she isn't any better than us, like, in terms of education level we are the same, if not just a little higher than a 15 year old right now. I told her that if she truly wanted to train herself she should start by thinking of us as equals. The conversation ended in an awkward tone as she got red and walked off. The girl did not turn up later at all and she has actually gone home and quit the job without bothering to get paid. The other colleagues said that I am being too harsh on a teenager who has a positive mentality and instead of encouraging her, I was a bitch. I admit, my words slipped and I was indeed bitter for a moment, but I do think that she needs to know that we are not inferior, and we should nip that thought in the bud. If it made her quit the job it just means that she doesn't have what it takes that she thought she had. ######

YTA - it sounds like she was just trying to prove to herself and her family that she could make it on her own and wasn't just a little princess. You liked her until you found out she was from a wealthy family, and then you made the whole thing about your inferiority complex. ######

I think the title makes it sound weirder than it is but here we go. My boyfriend’s brother is working on his masters and in order to support himself, has an OnlyFans where he posts both solo videos/pictures and videos of him with other men. It might be worth noting that his brother is gay. My boyfriend was open about the fact that his brother did this and didn’t seem ashamed by it. Even though I was morbidly curious, I never seeked out his videos. Fast forward to me meeting his brother and building a bit of a friendship with him. We get to talking about twitter one day and he ends up following me. I end up following him back. His twitter I would say is 3/4 standard tweets and 1/4 teasers for his only fans. This includes snippets of videos, naked pictures, and close up pictures of his regions. When these videos come up on my feed, I admittedly watch them. I’ve never masturbated to them. I just find them interesting. I usually will stop, watch the snippet, and then keep scrolling like normal. I hadn’t thought much of it but when my boyfriend found out that I looked at them at all he freaked out. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. It’s just kind of part of following his brother on twitter. But, I told him I would unfollow him if it would make him more comfortable. But, he seems more upset on principle than anything. I really don’t think it’s that big of a deal since I’ve never masturbated to it nor do I have any desire to. AITA for watching porn of his brother when it’s just part of following him on social media? ######

YTA - it doesn't matter whether you masturbate to it or not. put yourself in his position.. you wouldn't have any problem with your bf watching porn of your sister? ######

I’m an adult finishing up my Bachelors degree. I realized I got a few scholarships last semester that I didn’t apply to. I didn’t apply to any scholarships for that matter. Now the school keeps pestering me to meet with the donors via zoom to thank them. I believe it was around 1000.00 usd. I don’t want to. I’m already busy enough. I work full time an hour away from home, so that’s basically 12 hours away from home. I have two kids that I try to interact with for a little before I work on the two classes this semester. Also, I’m getting ready to have surgery in a week. I told them I’d write an email. Then they responded I can record a video and they would send that. I’m thankful for the money, but I never asked for it. I think a written email should suffice. ######

YTA - in the time you've spent writing about this on Reddit, you could have recorded a Thank You video. ######

As basic as possible, nearly 3 years ago my daughter asked if I could help her with the deposit for the house she wanted to buy with her husband. It was expensive so I vocalized that I could only help if it were going to be a loan she'd have to pay back. She then opted not to buy that specific house and found another house which was suitable and could be covered by her husband's savings. That was that. My son graduated from university last year and has been working ever since but recently he's been offered a higher position in another city. Coincidentally I actually own a house there (it was my best friend's old house which he gave to me) which I used to rent out but it's been gathering cobwebs since February. I told him about the problems with it and said he could have it though if he wanted and he took it. When I told my daughter about it she was unhappy and compared it to her wanting my help those years ago and I said no yet I'm giving my son the house cost free. The house was never bought by me though and was given (rather tossed) besides it being half way across the country. If my daughter got a job there, I would've also offered her the house free of charge. Aita? ######

YTA - in both situations you had the resources to help out your kid (you obviously had the money to help your daughter or you wouldn't have been able to loan it to her), but you asked your daughter to pay you back for your help, but gave the house to your son without asking to be paid for it. ######

Alright. I'm getting married in May 2021 to my husband. We're already legally married but haven't had a ceremony due to Covid. We decided that we want a small wedding ceremony in May. It is going to be a potluck style wedding. Everyone brings food and we all enjoy each other's company. I don't want gifts or money. Just food. This is the argument that my husband and I are having. I've recently been diagnosed with Crohn's disease. Lots of food causes me to have a flare up. This results in stomach pains and toilet issues. The biggest offenders are gluten and dairy. I want to ask everyone that brings food to please make it gluten and dairy free. My husband thinks this would make me an asshole since no one else would have an issue with dairy or gluten. And that it's too much to ask of everyone. It would also be rude to ask in his eyes. I don't think so since it's for one day and it is my wedding after all. I just don't want to worry about being in pain after I eat something. I get that dairy and gluten free alternative are more expensive and harder to find. But this is in exchange of bringing no other gift to our wedding. So WIBTA if I asked everyone to bring food that I can also eat at my wedding? Sorry if I made any grammar or spelling mistakes. ######

YTA - if you’re going to ask people to bring food to a wedding you can’t dictate what it is. You bring food you can eat or stop being so cheap and pay for a dinner reception where you can dictate the food. ######

I (42f) have a daughter (19f). She’s a university student, but has moved home because her university closed down and turned to online classes. English is not our first language, but it’s a compulsory part of our syllabus. My daughter was very good at it, did English as a first language, when most do English as a second language here and got perfect scores on her IELTS. My son, on the other hand struggles a lot with English. He’s currently doing English as a second language, and he’s failing. Since she’s come home, and isn’t paying rent I asked her to tutor him for a while everyday, and make sure not to leave if he doesn’t finish his homework. It’s been a few weeks since this arrangement, and she’s angry now. Apparently he doesn’t like to do his homework, and it takes hours to convince him to do it and there’s other things she’d rather be doing. She says if she sits down with him at 2pm, he’ll take until 8pm to finish it because he plays with his xbox, phone and switch and slowly does the work after she begs him so she can leave. I do insist that she stays until he finishes his homework, but I don’t think that’s too much to ask. She’s complaining that she doesn’t want to babysit her 13 year old brother for 6 hours a day until he’s ‘bothered to do his homework’. That she wants to call her friends and do her coursework as well. But if she’s going to live with me rent free for who knows how long until her university opens up she’s going to have to contribute somehow. And I think getting my son to do his homework and tutoring him is contributing enough. ######

YTA - if you expect your daughter to help your son with his English, you need to step in and lay down the law >She says if she sits down with him at 2pm, he’ll take until 8pm to finish it because he plays with his xbox, phone and switch and slowly does the work after she begs him so she can leave. That is unacceptable. If you were paying a tutor by the hour, you wouldn't allow your son to pull that shit, would you? You're being an asshole by expecting your daughter to be at the whim of her younger brother's work habits. If you asked her to sit with him for an hour or two a day, set time that ends, I would probably be on your side, that seems like a fair exchange for free rent. But this open ended bullshit where her younger brother is basically allowed to hold her time hostage? Makes you an asshole. ######

My ex-wife and I have joint custody, and I have my kids **every** single weekend. I also work full time at a fairly stressful job, so this means I never get any me time/vacation time. The past 2 years, I didn’t take the kids a handful of times, and they stayed with their mother for the weekend. My kids literally don’t care- they know their dad will simply see them next week. And my ex doesn’t get it because she essentially gets EVERY weekend off. My ex, however, is going crazy and threatening to change the custody agreement. She thinks I should spend all my vacation days with the kids, and never take the weekend off. We just got into a 20 minute argument because I’m visiting my friend for his birthday, and she’s saying I should have used this vacation “to see my kids”. She is threatening to try and get full custody of the kids. I pay my fair share of child support, and I see my kids 99.9% of the time. Am I the asshole here? ######

YTA - If you and your ex were still together, guess what, you would still not be spared from your kids during the weekend after a stressful work week. That's just what it means to be a parent. You make it sound like seeing your kids on the weekend is a complete chore, so no brownie points there. Sounds like your ex has 5 out of 7 days while you have 2, so I can understand why she would be angry that she ends up having to take them on for 7 whole days at certain points during that 2 year time frame, especially when those mere 2 days might be when she plans to do other things. The point of a custody agreement is to work around each others schedules. Just plan your activities when you DON'T have your kids, and while it sucks I'm sure your friend will understand if you can't attend. Either stick to the custody agreement that YOU agreed to and is most likely on a court order or don't act surprised when you get a nice court order later on starting an entire court case around why she should get full custody. Not trying to be harsh but you can't keep playing around like this, man. ######

So I have been with my fiancé for over 3 years. We have been engaged for one of those years. Our wedding is set for September 6th. My fiancé has been growing a beard ever since like March or so. I haven’t thought anything of it since I’ve seen him with a beard plenty of times before. I’d say since I’ve known him it’s been about 50/50 between him clean shaven and him having a beard. I jokingly brought up his beard and our wedding the other day. I said “you ready to have a clean face for our wedding?” He looked at me and was silent for a few seconds. He finally said “Um I was going to leave my beard for the wedding” I gave him a pretty gross look and said “no you are not. That is not acceptable. I will not have that.” He got mad that I was telling him what to do and said that I can’t tell him what to do with his grooming preferences. I said that I have the right to since it is my wedding and I am marrying him. We kept going back and forth about it until I said that I would cancel our wedding if he doesn’t shave. He didn’t budge. He ended up getting really mad by that comment and left shortly after. He’s barely texted me since that happened. I’ve told my friends and family about the situation and part of them agree with me while some say that I had no right to tell him to do that and that I was being a jerk for doing so. Just to clarify, I don’t hate his beard, it’s fine. I think at times that it can’t be attractive. I just don’t really like the idea of him not being clean shaven on our wedding day. I feel as though the pictures will not be as classy and nice. So reddit, am I the asshole in this situation? ######

YTA - if thats enough to call it off, he shouldnt be marrying you anyway. ######

​ So, I (45 F) am getting married to my boyfriend (47 M). He has three kids, two adopted daughters(25 F, 17 F), and a biological son, (24 M), I love my step kids a lot but there's one problem. His youngest is bisexual and has a girlfriend, I don't have any problem with that! But most of my family is homophobic and my boyfriend wants to invite his kids' significant other since they're 'family'. I had a talk about it and He was mad at me for thinking that his youngest's girlfriend shouldn't come because of my family. I tried my best to explain but he was really stubborn, refusing to not invite her. I got mad at him too and now we won't talk to each other. Of course, I love my step-daughter and her girlfriend is really nice but I'm scared about my family causing a ruckus because of it. ######

YTA - if anyone shouldn’t be going it’s the homophobes. ######

My dad and his partner are both in their 40s and they told me and my brother that they are pregnant. Honestly, I’m not too surprised, as they have sex all the time, super audibly, but still...like I thought they were too old for this. They said that they were keeping the baby and just weren’t sure whether they’d raise the kid or give it up for adoption. They asked for our input. I replied, “How the hell should I know???? I’m not raising the baby! Why does my input even matter if I’m 3 years away from being out of this house?” I really don’t care either way as long as if I don’t really have to engage with the kid or care for him or her. Honestly, I replied that way out of sheer horror, to an extent. My dad has had tons of partners but none of them have ever gotten pregnant or accused him of being the father. This is all so horrifying. Unfortunately, my dad then chewed me out for not caring about my half-sibling, and I was like “Lol well you two are the ones who want to give the kid up for adoption…” so like, I don’t even know what to say. He got even more pissed after that comment, so AITA? I hope this is a fucked up joke honestly. ######

YTA - I’ve read enough of your commentary here to say you’re 100% a dick. And I assume you’re like 16 years old or something too. Grow up, kid. Life doesn’t revolve around you and your shitty attitude. ######

My(51f) daughter (25) says she is trans male, which means I guess she uses he/him pronouns in public and uses a different name, but doesn't say anything when I or her father call her by her birth name. Anyway, recently she got top surgery which is when she gets her breasts removed, and her boyfriend (27) has been taking care of her. It's been about 2 months since the last time I saw her in person because of covid, and also because last time we got in a huge argument because I told her she should have talked to her father and I about serious cosmetic surgery like that. We try to talk on the phone and text at least once a week, but lately she's been pretty quiet about her life and won't tell us anything that's going on. My husband and I were over to drop off some food as her boyfriend is taking care of her basically around the clock and neither of them can go anywhere right now. When we got there, we saw our daughter laying on the couch without a shirt and we immediately covered our eyes and I started scolding her about not wearing a shirt when her father and I come over, while she yelled back that she "paid a shit ton of money to not have to wear a shirt" (her exact words). We just dropped the groceries by the front door and walked out, and then texted my daughter about how disrespectful that was and how she should always be wearing a shirt even if she got some stupid surgery. My husband said we should let it go, but if she's not going to wear a shirt when her parents come over, then she might embarrass herself by not wearing a shirt in public and showing off those ugly scars she now has from her cosmetic top surgery. Tldr:; daughter got top surgery, wouldn't put on a shirt after we came over to drop off groceries ######

YTA - I’m guessing why HE didn’t tell you about the surgery is because you and your husband aren’t truly supportive considering you don’t even try to make an attempt to use he/him pronouns and still call HIM HIS birth name. That alone makes you the asshole in this situation. ######

My 12yo son has been begging me to buy him a hoverboard. He wants one in particular - a Gyroor with lights and speakers - that happens to cost $450. It's not a lot to me, but I am not that kind of parent. He's asked what he could do to earn money and quite honestly there is no labor that I need from him that's worth $450. He asked me to "just" buy it for him and I said no parent "just" buys their kid a hoverboard and most people would agree. He said he didn't believe me and I said if he could prove that 10K people believed that he should get one, then I would buy one. Well he posted a picture of himself holding a sign "my dad says i can get a hoverboard if 10000 people think so" on his little Instagram account and a couple of family members shared it as a joke. A week later, he got over 10K likes. Now he wants the hoverboard and people think I should honor what was obviously a joke. I don't. ######

YTA - I would have totally agreed with you if you had just left it at NO. But >I said if he could prove that 10K people believed that he should get one, then I would buy one >A week later, he got over 10K likes. The time to claim this was a joke was immediately, not after he hit the goal. ######

My daughter is currently a senior in high school and for as long as i can remember she has wanted to be a musician. My MIL went to Julliard and made it big in the industry. I don't want to give any details because I think some people might recognize her name, and it is hard to teach my daughter that just because her grandmother did it and succeeded does not mean it is a attainable goal. Also and i would never say this to my daughter, she just isn't as talented as her grandmother. I would be all for something more reasonable like a music teacher, but she wants to do just what MIL does, and MIL always tells her that taking risk is good and everyone told her to just go to nursing school like her sister, but look at her now. Today i sat my daughter down for a very honest talk about what is going to happen if she doesn't get into Julliard (I know she isn't and MIL has confirmed in private that she really doesn't have enough to stand out and get into a school like that) She got defensive and thought that i was just trying to keep her from being like MIL because of my personal issues with MIL, so i told her the truth. It is almost impossible to succeed, so many people have talent, but MIL had two things beyond talents, she is nasty and vicious and doesn't care who she was willing to sleep with any man who can help her career. My daughter isn't like that, thank god, but i told her that nice people don't make it that far and the industry is full of people like MIL. I guess my daughter told MIL because i got an irate message from her saying that i called her a prostitute and that she loves her husband. My husband thinks that I went too far though he agrees our daughter is making a mistake. ######

YTA - I was on your side for a minute - realism is important and having a backup plan is healthy. However, you say you have persona issues with MIL and then go on to say some nasty things about her, making me not sure if you’re giving all info. ######

I’ve been sitting on this for a while, I haven’t yet told my husband and don’t really want to in respect for my daughters privacy. However I do need some help. Two weeks ago I asked my daughter if I could use her phone, as my internet was sketchy. She obliged and handed it to me. She obviously had forgotten what she’d left up, as when I went on the internet, it was left on a fetish website (fetlife). I was honestly shocked and in my shock I’m ashamed to say I snooped through her profile. Not only has she posted inappropriate photos of herself, there’s also hundreds of messages from men, mainly older, either asking her to meet or wanting to talk about fantasies. Not comfortable to look through the messages about her fantasy’s, I couldn’t help but see messages where she’d already arranged and met up with men. All different ages. The oldest one was 54!!! I’m shocked, she was always well behaved and quite introverted, so I’m still reeling from the discovery. I know my daughter is an adult but is there a way for me to sit her down and talk about her behaviour without me coming across as an asshole. I know I invaded her privacy but I’m now very worried about her. She lives at home but her father and I don’t control her life, she’s free to go where and when she wants. Having said that I only asked in return she lets me know where she is. If she wants to spend a week at her friends, that’s absolutely fine. I just like to know she’s okay. But with her keeping this from me and lying about her whereabouts, she’s meeting strange men from the internet for sex. This whole thing is sketchy and as much as she is an independent young women, I feel she needs guidance with this. ######

YTA - I say this gently because it’s obvious that you genuinely care about your daughter. That being said, it’s not your fault that you saw what had been left open on her phone, but it is your fault that you continued to dig deeper. As you said, she’s an adult. And as an adult she has the right to keep her private life, well, private. You shouldn’t bring it up to her as all that’ll do is cause her embarrassment and distrust towards you. It isn’t going to stop anything that she’s doing. If this was your teenage daughter that’d be a bit different, but as she’s full grown, you don’t really get a say in this. I think the best you can do is just to remind her before she leaves that you love her, and that you’d really appreciate a phone call just to let you know she’s safe, since she know’s how you worry. ######

I (m35) have a 16 year old daughter. I’ve been a single father since she was about 3 years old as I got sole legal custody due to some addiction issues her mother has. We have a really good relationship, but I always worry about her not having a woman to talk to. Over the past few months she hasn’t really seemed to be herself, I know she went through a bad break up but I’ve been worried it’s more than that. I’ve tried talking to her, and my sister only lives down the street so she’s tried talking to her also, but my daughter is really keeping to herself and it concerns me. She went out to see her friends for the first time since quarantine started yesterday and asked me if I could give her room a quick tidy whilst she was gone. I agreed because she does a lot of chores but she’s not good at cleaning her room. Whilst I was putting clothes back in her closet, I stumbled upon what I now know to be her diary. I shouldn’t have read past the first page but I just wanted to know if there was anything going on she wasn’t telling me about. There were some pretty heartbreaking stuff for a father to read about how down she felt about herself, so when she got home I brought it up to her. She asked me why this was suddenly coming up and when I told her I’d read her diary she absolutely flipped and told me it was an absolute violation of privacy and she’s completely humiliated. I told her I was just trying to protect her and she said it was none of my business and locked herself in her bedroom and hasn’t spoken to me since. AITA? ######

YTA - huge violation of her privacy and trust. When my mom did this to me i burned my diaries and stopped journaling entirely which was horrible for my mental health. Its taken me 2 decades and a move across the entirety of canada to get to a point where journalling feels fulfilling and not like a bomb waiting to go off. If you want to know whats up with your kid: talk to her. If you still dont get the info you want, work on the relationship. End of discussion. Reading private writing is never acceptable and I'd bet you have a lot of work ahead of you to rebuild this relationship. ######

Cast: Me - Assistant manger of a restaurant Ray (37) - Store manager, kind of creepy Kelly(18)- Fresh out of high school hostess, very shy, scatter brain Joe - District manager Ray has had a history with female workers. nothing that has gotten him in any trouble or had anybody quit, just remarks on appearances, flashes them smiles, ect. It's creepy but everyone has let it slide. than we hire Kelly, who is a very, very shy girl but very nice. Ray develops something for her and wouldn't stop persisting. she's made up a lot of excuses to let him down easy (not wanting to date, focus on school, being his employee) but he kept it up and up. she confined in me it was making her uncomfortable. she did go to HR but only Joe stopped by and saw nothing questionable at that time. I noticed after that kelly's feelings shifted. she wasn't really flirty but more open to ray's advance. I pull her aside and ask her what the hell was up, she explains since HR wasn't helping and she knew ray would slash her hours if she didn't go along with it, she was looking for a new job but playing along with things because she needed the money to care for her disabled dad. yeah okay. Me and the other workers are obviously getting pissed so I finally go to Joe and explain there's something going on between ray and kelly and one of them needed to go. they decide to transfer kelly to another store 40ish minutes away. she had a breakdown, crying how she couldn't do it because of the commute and she needed to stay or else she didn't know how to pay for her and dad's living expenses. she came up to me later, asked me why I manipulated the story like that (I don't see how) and now everyone thinks she's a slut and no one helped her at all. Was my handling wrong so much I am an asshole? ######

YTA - HR did nothing for her and you knew that Ray was in the wrong. What made you think it was Kelly's fault in this? She was a victim that ended up being punished. ######

Hey there umm this is my first post but I read a lot of storys and this one came up in my family and decided to post it here Backstory : so my cousin's family had a dog that they got two years ago at first they loved him then wanted him to become a security dog so he was locked in a cage most of the he pooped in the peed in it and when he was let out they'd tie him to light post for 20 minutes max and I'd always make passive aggressive remarks about this cause it's animal abuse Now here so about a week ago something happened to his leg and needed surgery, his surgery was scheduled this Tuesday, but the conditions he was living caused him illness then death So Reddit WIBTA if I tell my cousin's family their dog's death was their fault cause I don't think they notice it's their fault ######

YTA - how could you let this happen to an innocent and defenseless animal? ######

Me and my wife (both 45) have a son(18M) .Recently he came out to us .I was shocked but accepted it .My wife did not and started being distant with him and searching for potential girlfriends for him . I told him to go to his grandparent's house for the time being until i make his mother understand.He left, but not before cursing me for taking my wife's side over him. I don't want to lose both of them that is why i made this compromise .AITA for asking my son to leave the house ? ######

YTA - He shouldn't have to move out because your wife can't handle his sexuality. He's not the one who should have to compromise. ######

My daughter needed a hair cut so we went to the salon. The hairdresser had bright pink hair and her whole entire ear pierced. My daughter was very fascinated by this. She mentioned that she would like pink hair and was going on how she would also like many earrings one day too. My daughter was adamant she wanted pink hair. Initially I was a little unsure but then figured it will grow out anyway and was not permanent. My daughter has a dark blonde to light brown coloured hair and we agreed not to use bleach. I was expecting the colour we chose to be a soft subtle pink without bleach but it did come out extremely intense and bright. My daughter was very proud of her new hair. The salon also did ear piercing and my daughter noticed this and asked if she could get her ears pierced again. She was wanting a row of earrings like the hairdresser which was of course too much but after some discussion we agreed she could choose 2 pairs of earrings. I was expecting my daughter would 2 more added to each lobe (she already had 1 in each) but she wanted them all on one side. The issue I had was that the 4th and 5th hole would be in her cartilage as she could only fit 3 in her lobe. I raised this with the hairdresser but she said it would be o.k. We ended up leaving the salon with my daughter looking a little punkish with bright pink hair and 5 earrings in her left ear. When we got home my husband was a little freaked out by my daughters new look. He was angry with me as he thought she was too young. He was also worried about what her grandparents and other parents would think. I told him to relax as it made our daughter happy but he seems to think that I went too far. AITA here? ######

YTA - hair dyeing is not a huge deal, but you should have put research into the piercings, especially those on cartilage. For example, cartilage piercings shouldn’t be done with a gun. Putting that on hold for safety measures and letting your daughter know this wouldn’t have been disregarding her happiness. ######

I’ve been with my boyfriend for six years and we have two kids. I’ve always had the impression his mom didn’t like me but she’s never said anything. His mom was wealthy on her own and probably made on the higher end of six figures. She’s been with her fiancé for about a year and a half and I think he might be a millionaire. He bought her a Birkin for her birthday and I’ve heard that those can cost tens of thousands and when the pandemic got bad he somehow got them to his vacation house on a helicopter even though the area was supposed to be closed off. Honestly it kind of grossed me out how someone can have so much money when so many people are struggling. He proposed while they were in quarantine and I only know what the ring cost because he asked my boyfriends sister to help him pick it out and she couldn’t believe the price and she kind of has a big mouth. This ring cost more than most people make in a couple years. I literally can’t get over the fact that someone would spend that much money on a piece of metal. They’re home and we saw them for the first time in a few months and when we left my boyfriend said I was the only one who didn’t say congratulations. He feels like I’m being an asshole but I don’t see how she can wear that ring and not care that people are struggling and her grandkids are struggling. ######

YTA - From a struggling pandemic person here myself: First, it's not like either one of them bragged about the cost of the ring, you found this out through another person! Second, it is not your place to decide what they spend their money on. Whether they be well-off from hard work, or even family money... their purchases are their own business and how they choose to spend that wealth should not be dictated by you or anyone else. Third, to not congratulate someone on a POSITIVE life changing event in the midst of what is probably the worst year we all have had in quite sometime... just downright rude. Maybe this is the reason you get the feeling the mother doesn't like you? ######

My son (13) has an anonymous meme account on Instagram with a few k followers. He posts really offensive an in anti semitic memes on it apparently (I haven't look at it personally my wife/ his stepmom told me about it). My wife found it since she went to burrow his tablet and she saw that Instagram on it. She got really upset over it and yelled at him for it (probably because she is Jewish), but I digress. He tried to soothe her by telling her it was a joke but she would not have it. She got even more mad when I told her to calm down and that it was just a meme page and that it didn't even matter because it was anonymous. She has been bitchy about it all day and we've been fighting since then. AITA? ######

YTA - extremism needs to be checked early and it is fairly obvious that this is deeply troubling to your wife and is targeted (at least in part) at her. You're doubly TA because you haven't looked at the page yet. ######

So I have two teen daughters, 17 and 15, and they kind of hate me. I'm doing my best and the youngest one has been in therapy for her anger, but they are constantly criticizing me. The oldest one is constantly yelling at me for embarrassing her, which I've really tried to scale down. I used to do it semi on purpose, but apparently I'm the only one in the house with a sense of humor so I've attempted to stop. The youngest one is getting very into politics and social justice and will not stop bringing things up when I ask her to. She ends up in clashes with her father and it's to the point where she must be doing it intentionally because she knows how he is going to react. Well I had two friends over the other day for a birthday and we were drinking. My kids don't like when i have fun, though I'm not an alcoholic, alcohol has never been a problem and really I don't know why it bothers them so much. We were out by the pool acting stupid, probably embarrassing the hell out of my kids, but it's a big house and there were plenty of rooms to go into. I fell on the pavement when i was fooling around with my friend and got a cut and when they left I was whining and wanting my husband to fix it (I was drunk, i don't even know what that means) but the 17 year old just started screaming at me about how ridiculous and immature it is, and the younger one said I need less bitchy friends. I refuse to apologize for one day to myself but now my husband is pissed at the girls and my house is once again a war zone. So am I an asshole for refusing to apologize and thinking they should grow up a little. ######

YTA - even if it was only what you describe in your post that led up this, (which clearly it’s not since they had issues with you before), how would it hurt you to apologize? Would you want your daughters behaving the way that you behaved? You could’ve said “sorry, too much alcohol. Take this, and learn from my mistake.” It’s one thing when you’re college- aged, but you have two teenage daughters looking up to you. Grow up & just have a conversation about it. ######

Throwaway account for obvious reasons My friend, let's call her Ellie, is a trans woman (MtF). She came out to me about two months ago and I was very accepting of her, however she was struggling to pick a name. Recently she messaged me over Discord telling me that she had decided on the name Ellie. Ellie is an extremely common name in my area and there are 2 other Ellie's in my class. I told her that it would be way too confusing if she changed her name to Ellie and she got mad at me, telling me that it's none of my business and that she likes the name. I told my other friends in my server and they all took Ellie's side, except for one person who said it's stupid for her to expect us to get used to her name so soon and it would be confusing if there were other Ellies in our class too. It eventually resulted in a flame war between him and the rest of my server so I just tuned out. So Reddit, am I the asshole? ######

YTA - Ellie is an easy name to learn, it's ok to expect a learning curve as you get used to the name change but it's pretty egregious for you and your friend to demand she pick a different name. She wasn't asking for your permission, she was telling you her new name, deal with it like an adult. ######

This actually happened a long while ago but we recently saw each other again and she was really angry at me and when I asked around, this came up. So I was in a pretty complicated 'situationship' with this girl, Samantha (fake name). We never dated or were much friends but we regularly hooked up and chilled together in our group. Used protection but she got pregnant nonetheless. She said I was her only sexual partner and I believed her. We ended things pretty awkwardly a few weeks later but agreed to co parent what was going to be our child. Long story short, when she was around 2 months she was in a car accident and the baby didn't survive it. At the time I was overseas visiting my dad and uncles'. I wasn't that attached yet but I was a bit upset about it. Anyways, I guess I only really asked her how she was when she messaged me telkingme about it and that was the last time we spoke. That trip also kind of progressed into a move and job at my uncle's place and I only recently came back to visit my mother when I saw Sam again. So yeah, apparently I was an asshole for not comforting her or caring enough to ask how she was and just leaving her. We'd already 'broken up' at that point so i don't think I was that much of an asshole. AITA? ######

YTA - dude she was just your ex gf, preggo with your kid and involved in a car accident and you didn't check to see how she was because you were overseas and broken up? ######

Bf and I are planning our wedding. One thing we thankfully share in common is our distaste of jewellery. It makes us cringe whenever we're around metal accessories hanging on someone's body. Whenever I hug someone wearing a necklace I hate feeling the metal on me. So my bf and I NEVER wear jewellery. The only exception is our wedding rings, which we are actually considering against. So we basically want to make our wedding jewellery-free. The only exception is rings, and that is allowed only on married guests. Any other jewellery such as bracelets and necklaces is not allowed. Only one stud ear piercing on each ear is allowed; no other visible piercings are allowed. ######

YTA - don't like jewelry? Don't wear it. Want to exercise oddly specific control over people who are coming out to celebrate you? Asshole move. ######

Hi so I need to explain some stuff first... basically my (14f) little sister (6) and her friend (4-5?) play with stray cats in the neighborhood that they've named and made up stories about. They say the two "main" cats (one who's meant to be a cat engineer and the other one who's a cat doctor, so like our parents minus the cat part) are married to each other. Well both of these cats have very visible male parts so when my sister told me a story about their day I asked her this: "don't you know they're both boy cats?" and first off she said they aren't, then I kinda explained to her they have parts boys have (she knows those basics) and she started crying and saying I'm mean to her and making up lies. She told our parents and they were furious with me for provoking my sister (I didn't want to provoke her I just thought it was funny) and they said I'm the older one and I'm supposed to support my sister not put down her creativity. So AITA? ######

YTA - Do you go to the mall at Christmas and scream “that’s not the real Santa?” Because that’s what you did. ######

For context, I’ve been close friends with this person for 7 or 8 years. I’m not going to give his real name for anonymity’s sake, but I’ve been calling him an abbreviated version of his first name, the equivalent of calling someone Mark instead of Marcus or Nate instead of Nathan, for most of our friendship, like many of our other friends including some of his relatives. In the past few months, he’s suddenly started correcting me every time I use the abbreviated form of his name. It’ll go something like this... Me: “Hey Mark, do you want to drive tonight or should I?” Him: “It’s *Marcus* and yeah I’ll drive.” Obviously it’s not a huge deal for me to just call him by his full name, but it’s a hard habit to break and I don’t understand his reasoning. The abbreviated form of his name has no negative connotations as far as I know, and it’s a widely accepted and very normal name. To me, calling someone a by an abbreviated name or nickname (unless it’s a derogatory or belittling one) is a sign of familiarity — almost a term of endearment — showing the closeness of a relationship or friendship. So when he asks me to use his full name, it feels needlessly formal, like he’s holding me at arm’s length or trying to craft a more serious persona for himself that must be adhered to by everyone. I would understand much more if he was making a huge life change, like a trans woman embracing her identity by choosing a more fitting name for herself, but this is nothing like that. Am I the asshole for being irritated by this? TLDR: My longtime friend suddenly insists that I call him by his full first name instead of a shortened version and I don’t understand why. (Eg: “Marcus” instead of “Mark”) ######

YTA - calling your friend by the name he prefers will make him feel closer to you even if it feels formal to you. It doesn't matter if you understand his reasons, it's a sign of respect to do as he asks. Yes, it will take you time to get used to it but keep trying. ######

I (25f) was supposed to get married late April. Due to COVID, we decided to postpone. We've been postponing and finally our venue is opening up, but they've said we can only bring 20 guests. We originally had a guest list of over a 100 people, but due to the pandemic a lot of them backed out and said they'd attend over Zoom. We're down to 60 people now. My sister was one of those people. She was 2 months pregnant at the time (now she's 7 months along or almost), and said that she'd attend over zoom. I know she felt very bad, so she bought me my wedding dress as my wedding gift + apology present. For a while now, BIL and her have been in the process of buying a new house. They finally moved in a month and a half ago. Their house is absolutely gorgeous. It has a pool and a tennis court. I know that she can get her pool covered, and removing the nets from the tennis court would open up a world of possibilities and give us so much space to work with. She was unhappy when I brought it up. Apparently she didn't want people coming in and out setting up the place, then giving up a spare bedroom or two to me and my bridesmaids and having makeup artists come into her house. I don't get the big deal. She can still stay inside and watch the ceremony over zoom, or even better- her balcony. I mean, this is the only way that I can get all 60 of my guests to attend, without cutting down more. I don't get why she doesn't want to compromise. She doesn't have to attend in person if she doesn't want to. She said that she's already bought me my wedding dress, but I'm willing to pay her back for it in monthly payments if it means she'll let me have her wedding at her place. I can't afford the cost of the dress upfront. ######

YTA - Before asking about moving the venue to her home, you already knew she was choosing to attend the wedding virtually. She's pregnant, so depending on when your wedding is, she could be close to term or have a new infant. It sounds like she wants to be precautions given everything going on in the world right now. You're asking her to open her home for a large gathering during the middle of a pandemic. I think her buying your wedding dress was a really nice gift. I'm sure she feels bad that she won't be physically present for your big day. She has the full right to create a boundary for what she feels is safe for her and her family. It sounds like you're trying to pressure her to change her mind. ######

My girlfriend informed me the other day that she was going on a trip with the people mentioned above. She said she was taking our son with her and didn’t mention inviting me, hence the title “girls weekend.” I said, word for word, in a smart-ass tone “take pictures of my son when he first sees the ocean.” I told her I wanted to keep our son with me at home and I have never kept him more than 8 hours while she’s at work. Covid is part of my concern. Backstory: I have been a constant source of stress for my girlfriend. A 12 year drug problem of which 6 years I’ve been with her. I’ve just recently quit the drugs this year and have replaced it with smoking weed and when I’m out of weed I drink. We argue when I drink bc she doesn’t like that either and says I’m a “mean drunk.” ######

YTA - Based on your description of yourself, would you want your child left with someone like you for an entire weekend? I wouldn't trust you with a houseplant, tbh, let alone a child. ######

I 20(f) have decided to live child free. I used to be really Close I’m older sister but once she had kids I cut back on the time we spent together. At one point I made it truly clear I can’t be around kids at all. My sisters husband is rich like really rich. So because of the pandemic he decided to rent a yacht for two weeks. Now the whole family is going he’s even allowing so family to bring a friend or two. So I call my sister to see what weeks it is so I can make sure I off for those days. My sister told me that she didn’t invite me because she was sure I would decline like all the other times. I been invited to theme parks but didn’t go because of the kids. I called my mom and dad and they both sided with my sister. The only people on my side is my friends. So am I aita for regretting telling my sister I can’t be around her kids? ######

YTA - As soon as they do something you actually feel like you can be bothered to put up with your nieces/nephews you're suddenly offended by them respecting the rules you set for yourself. Stop being so entitled. ######

Okay so this title makes it sound really bad but it’s not as cut and dry as it seems. I’m (21m) a senior in college but am doing a five year program. I have two roommates in an off-campus apartment, two dudes that I’ve been friends with for years. They’re both graduating in May, only staying for four years. People start looking at off-campus housing at my school for next year in September or October of the current year (insane, I know), so I have to start looking now if I’m going to find something live-able/not super expensive. I’m open to living on my own, but would prefer not to. Don’t know where else to put this in the story, but I’m gay and have openly been for two years. So one of my roommates “John” told me that he has a friend of a friend looking for housing next year that I should talk to about living with. He says he’s met the guy a few times and he seems normal. I ask him what he knows, and John brings up that he’s gay. That’s when I said no, I’m not interested. I have no interest in living with another gay guy. I just don’t want to live with someone that there is ever any shot of anything sexual happening with, which is why I’ve only lived with straight men. Before I get shit on for this, how many women only have woman roommates and how many men only have male roommates? Plus in sophomore year I lived in the dorms with another gay guy, we hooked up while living together, and it was a whole thing. Well, it turns out John already mentioned me to the guy before having this conversation, and now he had to tell him I wasn’t into it. He also apparently had to tell him why for whatever reason. Apparently the guy now thinks I’m a “self-hating gay,” which I find offensive and ridiculous. I admit that I don’t have a lot of gay people in my platonic circle, but I do date pretty often. So AITA? ######

YTA - As a woman who has had male roommates (straight and gay) YTA. The reason women don't want male roommates is because they fear being victimized by them, not because they fear becoming sexually attracted to them. Heck, I am bisexual, by that logic I would have to screen every one of my roommates for sexual orientation to make sure they could not be into me. Gay men and straight women only! Needless to say I did not do that. I have also never had sex with a roommate. Heck, my last roommate prior to moving in with my partner was a lesbian and we were both single when we met - we had zero interest in each other because we weren't the other's type. You are an adult, you should be able to keep it in your pants. If you are fine having straight male roommates you should be fine with a gay roommate. You can recognize that there isn't a shot of anything sexual happening because your roommates are straight. Why can't you recognize that there isn't a shot of anything sexual happening because you are roommates with this guy and have a policy of not fucking roommates? You are an adult who should have full control over your basest impulses. Further, this is also implying that the prospective roommate would be into you and vice versa. As a member of the LGBT community you should very well know that we aren't attracted to every person of the gender we are attracted to. ######

My MIL is married to a man who was born in Iran and they go once or twice a year to see his family. They have a daughter who turned 13 the other day and MIL wished her a happy birthday on social media. She included a couple of pictures and in one of the pictures, MIL and her daughter were both wearing head coverings. That bothered me, SIL absolutely has the right to wear one, but MIL is white and i felt like she was using it as a fashion statement, and kind of showing off. I sent her a private message that i felt like she was appropriating her husband and daughter's culture, and this was her reply: "Their culture? You mean the culture of not wanting to go to jail, because it is illegal in Iran for a woman not to have her hair covered? Yeah, i suck for not wanting to get arrested, and my husband is Jewish dumbass, so that isn't even his culture. Fucking unbelievable" Ok, i looked into it and she is right, she was following a law, and it is a religious thing, not just an Iranian thing. My husband says i should apologize, which i find ironic because he doesn't even like his mother. I said i would only apologize for my mistake if she apologized for how incredibly rude and condescending her reply was. ######

YTA - Apologize for your mistake. PERIOD. That’s how apologies work. ######