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**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** I love that. I mean, all of those are so good. And actually, in another article - Harvard Business Review did a sort of "10 best reads on high performance", and one of the articles highlighted this, for clarity, but really more in terms of goal setting. And I think that that's part of the fun,... |
So having the clarity about where you want to go... And I would add in a really sort of nuanced piece of "How do I want to feel with achieving that goal, or having that clarity?" Because remember how much our feelings play a role in our decision-making and our memory? And that that's going to be a driver when you're ti... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** \[14:09\] Well, we did a show on clarity, if you recall. It was called "Clarity and expectation", episode 29. Just a few back. That was a good one, too. The opening line was "When you lack clarity, or have uncertainty for a direction or a goal, it's going to be difficult to succeed." You've got to h... |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** Yep, it is. So I would challenge you though - what do we tell someone when they're not clear? |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Be your own scientist, right? Start collecting data... I would say, for me, the line really is clear for me when I say "What am I optimizing for?" Am I optimizing for -- even a trip with family. It's like, I'm a dad, I want to control things, I've got to keep them safe along the trip, all these diff... |
I like the things you've said before, which is "Try it on." I love that. I've done that so many times since learning that lesson like, and I love this show because of that, because it teaches me just as much as it probably teaches our audience what to think about. And for me, big decisions and clarity - have I tried it... |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** Isn't one of the things you mentioned Brendon said was "Generate energy"? |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Energy is key. |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** Yeah. So part of that too relates to this developing clarity. To develop clarity, I want to be attentive around the things that give me energy, that breed more. Right? |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Right? What takes away my energy? Yes. |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** Exactly. So when you think about what are the activities, or places, or people that just feed me, and that I just have more energy after being around them or doing them? It's really interesting even in looking at occupations and what people do, and that when they're sort of on the cusp of burn... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** For sure. Yeah. What's got your full attention, that somebody else would be like "Yeah, tell me more about that", and you just cannot stop talking to them about it. But I think energy is sort of key, because without energy, obviously, we don't have energy, and so we need that to move forward, to be ... |
But again, back to this "Is it an innate ability, or is it something that you can sort of practice and learn?" And I think energy is not something you just simply have, it's something you cultivate, right? It's something that you be aware of. Like, we've said, the "No a-hole rule", for example, is a good book. Knowing ... |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** \[18:23\] Yep. Now, the other thing that I can't help but talk about as we're talking about energy is perspective, and taking the long view. I would say that a high-performance mindset always has the long view in mind. And so it helps manage some of the energy, or going, "Gosh, I'm really tire... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Right. Yeah, sometimes pain is the indicator, right? It's like "Wow, I'm really feeling it here. I'm feeling beat down." And I guess perspective-taking really is key there, because perspective really is everything. It really is. I'm reminded again and again a small anecdote, I would say, and it's se... |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** That's huge. That's huge. Well, and I would say that really how you treat people also matters. In terms of high performance, some people can be "Perform, but off the field", maybe not so much; it's like, there is a consideration for others amidst that. And that not everybody's in the same plac... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** \[22:09\] Precisely. Precisely. |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** Yeah, I think how you perform on and off the field is certainly key. And your personality, too. Because that goes back to the whole "Are you somebody who gives or takes the energy away, or gives her takes the motivation away?" Because if you are gung-ho, and then somebody comes in the room and... |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** Yep. So I think about it, like, in the workplace and working with teams, right? And so maybe somebody like hits it out of the ballpark. Say they're in sales, and they just crush it. But you know, they also have a negative impact on the rest of the team because of the manner in which they go ab... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Whaat...? |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** Yeah. Yeah. The ref did have a sidebar conversation with said child... But these are like qualities, characteristics, and the reason I bring it up is because it can detract from team's high performance. Because from a leadership perspective, you can go "Why are we tolerating this?" It's sort o... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Yeah. Sometimes you flex, and you give people a chance to change, and I guess in this 11-year-old's case hopefully he does change, or he or she does change, because eventually they'll become an adult and have a different brain, and all that good stuff... But in a different setting, you give people t... |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** Yeah, so I would maybe go high performance, sort of that mindset is evaluating and sort of looking at what you're bringing to the teams that you're around. And it doesn't have to just be in the workplace. I mean, we can look at this in terms of families, couples, diads, like, what are you tryi... |
**Break:** \[25:27\] |
**Adam Stacoviak:** How does focus play a role in high performance? |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** Well, remember, you're gonna feed whatever it is you focus on. And I think about this a lot, having worked with so many people with ADHD, who have trouble focusing... And I'm always filtering information, and evaluating, and going "That's important, disregard this, prioritize that", yadda-yadd... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Never happens to me. Never. |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** \[laughs\] Especially not in Target. Ever. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** And I'm being serious. I'm not even boasting, but I'm being very serious. Like, I make lists before I go into stores. I make lists before I go into the virtual stores. Like, if I go to Amazon, it's specific. It's not "Let me browse a genre or a section." Now, if I'm doing research, or evaluation, or... |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** Yes, that's awesome. But it really highlights how important the focus is, because again, with a list, you spend time to do it in advance, but then you're clear in the objective, completed it, and then can move on to other things, so that you're achieving the other aspects in your life that you... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Yeah. I feel for me focus is key. And maybe that's a lesson we bring back to bringing back this show, because |
we weren't able to focus for a bit on this endeavor, despite having tremendous enjoyment, tremendous appreciation for the thing. But we were able to see the long view well enough to say it's okay to pause. And if it comes back, it comes back. It was never a forever go away thing for me. It was always "Let's recollect o... |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** \[34:02\] Right. So I would say -- I mean, be vigilant around your focus. I mean, there are so many things that compete for our attention in today's world. And so if you're not deliberate, just like sort of drifting... If I'm not tethered or anchored in some sort of way, I'm just going to drif... |
I mean, if I don't care about -- gosh, pick something... I'm not likely going to spend much of my time, energy or my mind investing in that lane. I mean, I could use the example of golf. I don't golf. People love it, I think it's probably a great sport... I don't spend time golfing, not even putt-putt. There's a little... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Very common. Yes, very common in your area to be golfing. |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** Yeah. And that's okay. And I'm so grateful that there are other people who do enjoy it, because this is how the world goes round, and different people are invested in other things... But going, "What are the things that I'm really about? Can I identify the things I really value?" |
I mean, we even do this within our family, and talking about it with our kids. If somebody asked you, what would you say our family is about? Because I want to get them thinking, and noticing that, because -- I mean, really, more than anything, like, for us with raising our kids I want my kids to be able to think criti... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** This aspect of your family and the direction as like mission-minded is something we said in the military a lot. "Are you mission-minded, soldier?" Because if you were in your unit, or your crew, or whatever it might be, and you don't know what your mission is - well, are you really part of the team?... |
Being mission-minded, I think, is super-cool, especially in a family, because you know, my kids can't follow unless I'm leading them in a direction that says, "This is where we're trying to go." When somebody asks you about our family, where we're trying to go", maybe there's one right answer, but maybe there's just a ... |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** And I love that you bring that up, because with each mission too there's opportunity for learning, right? I mean, there's like sort of short-term missions, and then a longer pole mission, right? Like, you had a mission being part of the military, to serve and protect. But then there were small... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** \[37:53\] Mm-hm. In terms of resources, I'm sure we have a couple episodes we can mention as resources to dig further... But one you mentioned was the Harvard Business Review, there was a book that you had held up before the call. What was that book? Can people get that? Is that exclusive to folks l... |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** \[laughs\] No. And in fact, I caught this on a trip, in one of the nice stores in the airport. So it's a Harvard Business Review, they put out a number of their 10 best articles on a particular topic, so this just happened to be on high performance. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** So it's 10 different articles from the Harvard Business Review on high performance. Okay, cool. |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** Yep. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** And so we'll find the link, if we can, for the Internet to go check that out. And then I mentioned them, but you also mentioned/reminded me "Hey, have you heard of, or read, or listened to this book?" Because I listen to books more often than I read them, "High performance habits" by Brendon Burchar... |
But he gave a great overview of what it is that you do, rather than what you are in initializing your life; whether it's God-given talent, or beauty, or whatever it might be that gets you to certain places, or skill, muscle, or whatever it might be, that athleticism that is just natural... Well, those may be true in ce... |
And then we'll find some links... I mentioned "Clarity and expectation", I'm sure there's a few others in our past catalog we can reference... But is there anything else we can share as a resource to take away? |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** Well, more to be continued in upcoming episodes. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** More to be continued. And what can we expect from this thing we're doing here? Is it -- once a month I think we said we can do, which is, I think, maybe the lesson; like, if you do resume something, what can you commit to? |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** Yeah. |
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