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[ { "content": "Why does it seem that students who have a science background or are more science-minded tend to do quite well in arts subjects but not vice versa? I was not getting any luck in getting an answer in r/NoStupidQuestions so I thought this would be relevant here I'm currently both a science and arts student and I have noticed this to be quite true in most cases. Arts student will complain about struggling through a math or science requirement, while science students in arts classes tend to fair better I noticed that institutions think this is the case as well as I also noticed that universities will have courses such as \"calculus for the social sciences\" or \"biology for the arts\" which is known to be less rigorous than the main calculus/biology class. On the other hand, I don't commonly see them offer \"philosophy for the sciences\" or \"sociology for engineers\". If science students wish to take arts classes, they are expected to enroll in the main class", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The real answer? I hate to say it (and I'm certain I'll be downvoted to hell for this), but as a whole, succeeding in science/math disciplines generally requires more hours, study time, and discipline. As a whole, excellent science students cultivate from an early point in their academic journey that struggling/not understanding something is natural, and learn to push through it. With the humanities/arts, many of those students who take sciences courses may not used to that sudden realization that something makes absolutely no sense, and are likely to immediately self-label themselves in those courses as \"not good students\" even though they are probably highly capable in those fields as well.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Why does it seem that students who have a science background or are more science-minded tend to do quite well in arts subjects but not vice versa? I was not getting any luck in getting an answer in r/NoStupidQuestions so I thought this would be relevant here I'm currently both a science and arts student and I have noticed this to be quite true in most cases. Arts student will complain about struggling through a math or science requirement, while science students in arts classes tend to fair better I noticed that institutions think this is the case as well as I also noticed that universities will have courses such as \"calculus for the social sciences\" or \"biology for the arts\" which is known to be less rigorous than the main calculus/biology class. On the other hand, I don't commonly see them offer \"philosophy for the sciences\" or \"sociology for engineers\". If science students wish to take arts classes, they are expected to enroll in the main class", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I think part of it is the prerequisite knowledge. For an introductory college humanities class, you need to be able to read, write, and think critically. For even a remedial math class, you need all of the above plus all the math you’ve learned up to that point. Someone who is good at math already has the skills to do well in other fields. They just have to learn domain-specific information. Regardless of your major, everyone will show up to an intro philosophy class with almost no philosophy background. You can’t show up to a calculus class with good critical thinking skills and no math knowledge expecting it to go well. The cumulative nature of math also explains the existence of courses like “calculus for social sciences”. A standard calculus track is teaching you some math you’ll use in your field but also preparing you for more math which is usually the hardest part. If someone doesn’t need more math, they’re better off just learning what they’ll actually need.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Why does it seem that students who have a science background or are more science-minded tend to do quite well in arts subjects but not vice versa? I was not getting any luck in getting an answer in r/NoStupidQuestions so I thought this would be relevant here I'm currently both a science and arts student and I have noticed this to be quite true in most cases. Arts student will complain about struggling through a math or science requirement, while science students in arts classes tend to fair better I noticed that institutions think this is the case as well as I also noticed that universities will have courses such as \"calculus for the social sciences\" or \"biology for the arts\" which is known to be less rigorous than the main calculus/biology class. On the other hand, I don't commonly see them offer \"philosophy for the sciences\" or \"sociology for engineers\". If science students wish to take arts classes, they are expected to enroll in the main class", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Some of the humanities requires abstract thought that translates into the sciences (and vice versa), but the quantitative/discrete analytical skills doesn’t translate into the humanities??? That’s my guess, but this may not be the case. After having not done any literary analysis for 5yrs between high school and my last semester of college (I’m an engineering student), I definitely struggled in my African American studies class. The teacher taught at a graduate level for an introductory level class, making it even more difficult, but my friends in the humanities didn’t struggle anywhere near as much as I did.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Why does it seem that students who have a science background or are more science-minded tend to do quite well in arts subjects but not vice versa? I was not getting any luck in getting an answer in r/NoStupidQuestions so I thought this would be relevant here I'm currently both a science and arts student and I have noticed this to be quite true in most cases. Arts student will complain about struggling through a math or science requirement, while science students in arts classes tend to fair better I noticed that institutions think this is the case as well as I also noticed that universities will have courses such as \"calculus for the social sciences\" or \"biology for the arts\" which is known to be less rigorous than the main calculus/biology class. On the other hand, I don't commonly see them offer \"philosophy for the sciences\" or \"sociology for engineers\". If science students wish to take arts classes, they are expected to enroll in the main class", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I think part of it is the prerequisite knowledge. For an introductory college humanities class, you need to be able to read, write, and think critically. For even a remedial math class, you need all of the above plus all the math you’ve learned up to that point. Someone who is good at math already has the skills to do well in other fields. They just have to learn domain-specific information. Regardless of your major, everyone will show up to an intro philosophy class with almost no philosophy background. You can’t show up to a calculus class with good critical thinking skills and no math knowledge expecting it to go well. The cumulative nature of math also explains the existence of courses like “calculus for social sciences”. A standard calculus track is teaching you some math you’ll use in your field but also preparing you for more math which is usually the hardest part. If someone doesn’t need more math, they’re better off just learning what they’ll actually need.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Why does it seem that students who have a science background or are more science-minded tend to do quite well in arts subjects but not vice versa? I was not getting any luck in getting an answer in r/NoStupidQuestions so I thought this would be relevant here I'm currently both a science and arts student and I have noticed this to be quite true in most cases. Arts student will complain about struggling through a math or science requirement, while science students in arts classes tend to fair better I noticed that institutions think this is the case as well as I also noticed that universities will have courses such as \"calculus for the social sciences\" or \"biology for the arts\" which is known to be less rigorous than the main calculus/biology class. On the other hand, I don't commonly see them offer \"philosophy for the sciences\" or \"sociology for engineers\". If science students wish to take arts classes, they are expected to enroll in the main class", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Some of the humanities requires abstract thought that translates into the sciences (and vice versa), but the quantitative/discrete analytical skills doesn’t translate into the humanities??? That’s my guess, but this may not be the case. After having not done any literary analysis for 5yrs between high school and my last semester of college (I’m an engineering student), I definitely struggled in my African American studies class. The teacher taught at a graduate level for an introductory level class, making it even more difficult, but my friends in the humanities didn’t struggle anywhere near as much as I did.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Why does it seem that students who have a science background or are more science-minded tend to do quite well in arts subjects but not vice versa? I was not getting any luck in getting an answer in r/NoStupidQuestions so I thought this would be relevant here I'm currently both a science and arts student and I have noticed this to be quite true in most cases. Arts student will complain about struggling through a math or science requirement, while science students in arts classes tend to fair better I noticed that institutions think this is the case as well as I also noticed that universities will have courses such as \"calculus for the social sciences\" or \"biology for the arts\" which is known to be less rigorous than the main calculus/biology class. On the other hand, I don't commonly see them offer \"philosophy for the sciences\" or \"sociology for engineers\". If science students wish to take arts classes, they are expected to enroll in the main class", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Science at a high level demands creative thinking and new approaches. Art at a high level doesn't demand scientific methods or calculations. Both science and art are incredibly broad, just kinda working with what youve given.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Why does it seem that students who have a science background or are more science-minded tend to do quite well in arts subjects but not vice versa? I was not getting any luck in getting an answer in r/NoStupidQuestions so I thought this would be relevant here I'm currently both a science and arts student and I have noticed this to be quite true in most cases. Arts student will complain about struggling through a math or science requirement, while science students in arts classes tend to fair better I noticed that institutions think this is the case as well as I also noticed that universities will have courses such as \"calculus for the social sciences\" or \"biology for the arts\" which is known to be less rigorous than the main calculus/biology class. On the other hand, I don't commonly see them offer \"philosophy for the sciences\" or \"sociology for engineers\". If science students wish to take arts classes, they are expected to enroll in the main class", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Some of the humanities requires abstract thought that translates into the sciences (and vice versa), but the quantitative/discrete analytical skills doesn’t translate into the humanities??? That’s my guess, but this may not be the case. After having not done any literary analysis for 5yrs between high school and my last semester of college (I’m an engineering student), I definitely struggled in my African American studies class. The teacher taught at a graduate level for an introductory level class, making it even more difficult, but my friends in the humanities didn’t struggle anywhere near as much as I did.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Why does it seem that students who have a science background or are more science-minded tend to do quite well in arts subjects but not vice versa? I was not getting any luck in getting an answer in r/NoStupidQuestions so I thought this would be relevant here I'm currently both a science and arts student and I have noticed this to be quite true in most cases. Arts student will complain about struggling through a math or science requirement, while science students in arts classes tend to fair better I noticed that institutions think this is the case as well as I also noticed that universities will have courses such as \"calculus for the social sciences\" or \"biology for the arts\" which is known to be less rigorous than the main calculus/biology class. On the other hand, I don't commonly see them offer \"philosophy for the sciences\" or \"sociology for engineers\". If science students wish to take arts classes, they are expected to enroll in the main class", "role": "user" }, { "content": "humanities students are socialized from a young age to believe they can only be good at one or the other. That, with a combination of poor teaching in K-12, translates to feeling defeated before they start.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "So I guess my new job market fear is being falsely accused of sexual harassment by a competing applicant https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/18/magazine/title-ix-sexual-harassment-accusations.html Have you guys read this? tl;dr woman gets coveted job at UMich and is waiting for spousal hire news; woman's colleague tries to sabotage her offer by submitting fraudulent sexual harassment complaints to UMich and spouse's current university (use archive.is or clear your cache for non-paywalled version) So I guess, outside of this dude being a fucking psycho which obviously most people are not, this experience really highlights how unprotected anyone who works in academia is. Starting with the fact that people wouldn't be so desperate for jobs if their career choice didn't leave them to languish in Lubbock, TX or go back to low-skilled labor.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I mean yeah, that’s what happens when we throw due process out the window and allow people’s lives to be ruined because of he-said she-said rumors And even if you’re found innocent, good luck getting the stain off your name Edit: I’m not a hateful person and I understand that it’s a complicated situation, but I think we need a system which works for everybody equally.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "So I guess my new job market fear is being falsely accused of sexual harassment by a competing applicant https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/18/magazine/title-ix-sexual-harassment-accusations.html Have you guys read this? tl;dr woman gets coveted job at UMich and is waiting for spousal hire news; woman's colleague tries to sabotage her offer by submitting fraudulent sexual harassment complaints to UMich and spouse's current university (use archive.is or clear your cache for non-paywalled version) So I guess, outside of this dude being a fucking psycho which obviously most people are not, this experience really highlights how unprotected anyone who works in academia is. Starting with the fact that people wouldn't be so desperate for jobs if their career choice didn't leave them to languish in Lubbock, TX or go back to low-skilled labor.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This is absolutely terrifying. How do you even defend yourself against that? And all it needs is someone with too much time on their hands. Buddy was sloppy, used his real phone number with his fake e-mail address, and used the same e-mail address to impersonate different people. But someone more prepared... god damn.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "So I guess my new job market fear is being falsely accused of sexual harassment by a competing applicant https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/18/magazine/title-ix-sexual-harassment-accusations.html Have you guys read this? tl;dr woman gets coveted job at UMich and is waiting for spousal hire news; woman's colleague tries to sabotage her offer by submitting fraudulent sexual harassment complaints to UMich and spouse's current university (use archive.is or clear your cache for non-paywalled version) So I guess, outside of this dude being a fucking psycho which obviously most people are not, this experience really highlights how unprotected anyone who works in academia is. Starting with the fact that people wouldn't be so desperate for jobs if their career choice didn't leave them to languish in Lubbock, TX or go back to low-skilled labor.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Holy shit.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "So I guess my new job market fear is being falsely accused of sexual harassment by a competing applicant https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/18/magazine/title-ix-sexual-harassment-accusations.html Have you guys read this? tl;dr woman gets coveted job at UMich and is waiting for spousal hire news; woman's colleague tries to sabotage her offer by submitting fraudulent sexual harassment complaints to UMich and spouse's current university (use archive.is or clear your cache for non-paywalled version) So I guess, outside of this dude being a fucking psycho which obviously most people are not, this experience really highlights how unprotected anyone who works in academia is. Starting with the fact that people wouldn't be so desperate for jobs if their career choice didn't leave them to languish in Lubbock, TX or go back to low-skilled labor.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This is absolutely terrifying. How do you even defend yourself against that? And all it needs is someone with too much time on their hands. Buddy was sloppy, used his real phone number with his fake e-mail address, and used the same e-mail address to impersonate different people. But someone more prepared... god damn.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "So I guess my new job market fear is being falsely accused of sexual harassment by a competing applicant https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/18/magazine/title-ix-sexual-harassment-accusations.html Have you guys read this? tl;dr woman gets coveted job at UMich and is waiting for spousal hire news; woman's colleague tries to sabotage her offer by submitting fraudulent sexual harassment complaints to UMich and spouse's current university (use archive.is or clear your cache for non-paywalled version) So I guess, outside of this dude being a fucking psycho which obviously most people are not, this experience really highlights how unprotected anyone who works in academia is. Starting with the fact that people wouldn't be so desperate for jobs if their career choice didn't leave them to languish in Lubbock, TX or go back to low-skilled labor.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Holy shit.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "So I guess my new job market fear is being falsely accused of sexual harassment by a competing applicant https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/18/magazine/title-ix-sexual-harassment-accusations.html Have you guys read this? tl;dr woman gets coveted job at UMich and is waiting for spousal hire news; woman's colleague tries to sabotage her offer by submitting fraudulent sexual harassment complaints to UMich and spouse's current university (use archive.is or clear your cache for non-paywalled version) So I guess, outside of this dude being a fucking psycho which obviously most people are not, this experience really highlights how unprotected anyone who works in academia is. Starting with the fact that people wouldn't be so desperate for jobs if their career choice didn't leave them to languish in Lubbock, TX or go back to low-skilled labor.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "yeah. ITS CRAZY. that guy is sick.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "How do you... Do it all? I've been at a crossroads with academia for more than a year now. I'm a post doc right now (courting industry jobs because my current environment has been toxic for my mental health). I love my topic, I love the IDEA of what academia could be for me, but I've seen very little of it materialize for me (I'm also tired of a post doc that looks good on paper but in practice has been unsupportive, and often hostile). I think I'm at a point where I'm tired of the weird facade academia makes everyone put on like they're at peak productivity and continuously improving (when my experience has been that a lot of it is hand waving). Tonight I was thinking about all the things I have to tackle this coming week and I wondered... Is this it forever if I choose to stay? Presentations/teaching, re-hauling analyses / manuscripts, meetings that go no where or at least feel that way, and all the other things that come with academia. Honestly writing it out doesn't make it seem so bad, but then there's the conflict of all the projects and things feel like they are ALL urgent or a priority, juggling deadlines, and unexpected things that come up, PLUS trying to have a life outside of work. How do you (honestly) deal with it all? I don't even have courses to teach besides occasional guest lectures and I constantly feel like I'm drowning with just my research commitments. I try not to compare my progress/pace with others but some days it's hard not to. But right now I actually do want to know how others manage to handle all these things successfully.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Energy drinks and staying up till 5 am. Don't be me. Get a job at a better school (no matter how much you love students who are struggling) or get a job in industry.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "How do you... Do it all? I've been at a crossroads with academia for more than a year now. I'm a post doc right now (courting industry jobs because my current environment has been toxic for my mental health). I love my topic, I love the IDEA of what academia could be for me, but I've seen very little of it materialize for me (I'm also tired of a post doc that looks good on paper but in practice has been unsupportive, and often hostile). I think I'm at a point where I'm tired of the weird facade academia makes everyone put on like they're at peak productivity and continuously improving (when my experience has been that a lot of it is hand waving). Tonight I was thinking about all the things I have to tackle this coming week and I wondered... Is this it forever if I choose to stay? Presentations/teaching, re-hauling analyses / manuscripts, meetings that go no where or at least feel that way, and all the other things that come with academia. Honestly writing it out doesn't make it seem so bad, but then there's the conflict of all the projects and things feel like they are ALL urgent or a priority, juggling deadlines, and unexpected things that come up, PLUS trying to have a life outside of work. How do you (honestly) deal with it all? I don't even have courses to teach besides occasional guest lectures and I constantly feel like I'm drowning with just my research commitments. I try not to compare my progress/pace with others but some days it's hard not to. But right now I actually do want to know how others manage to handle all these things successfully.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "There are many things I am required to do. Not to do to the best of my ability, just to complete. You have to prioritise your standards.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "How do you... Do it all? I've been at a crossroads with academia for more than a year now. I'm a post doc right now (courting industry jobs because my current environment has been toxic for my mental health). I love my topic, I love the IDEA of what academia could be for me, but I've seen very little of it materialize for me (I'm also tired of a post doc that looks good on paper but in practice has been unsupportive, and often hostile). I think I'm at a point where I'm tired of the weird facade academia makes everyone put on like they're at peak productivity and continuously improving (when my experience has been that a lot of it is hand waving). Tonight I was thinking about all the things I have to tackle this coming week and I wondered... Is this it forever if I choose to stay? Presentations/teaching, re-hauling analyses / manuscripts, meetings that go no where or at least feel that way, and all the other things that come with academia. Honestly writing it out doesn't make it seem so bad, but then there's the conflict of all the projects and things feel like they are ALL urgent or a priority, juggling deadlines, and unexpected things that come up, PLUS trying to have a life outside of work. How do you (honestly) deal with it all? I don't even have courses to teach besides occasional guest lectures and I constantly feel like I'm drowning with just my research commitments. I try not to compare my progress/pace with others but some days it's hard not to. But right now I actually do want to know how others manage to handle all these things successfully.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I feel the same way you do!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "How do you... Do it all? I've been at a crossroads with academia for more than a year now. I'm a post doc right now (courting industry jobs because my current environment has been toxic for my mental health). I love my topic, I love the IDEA of what academia could be for me, but I've seen very little of it materialize for me (I'm also tired of a post doc that looks good on paper but in practice has been unsupportive, and often hostile). I think I'm at a point where I'm tired of the weird facade academia makes everyone put on like they're at peak productivity and continuously improving (when my experience has been that a lot of it is hand waving). Tonight I was thinking about all the things I have to tackle this coming week and I wondered... Is this it forever if I choose to stay? Presentations/teaching, re-hauling analyses / manuscripts, meetings that go no where or at least feel that way, and all the other things that come with academia. Honestly writing it out doesn't make it seem so bad, but then there's the conflict of all the projects and things feel like they are ALL urgent or a priority, juggling deadlines, and unexpected things that come up, PLUS trying to have a life outside of work. How do you (honestly) deal with it all? I don't even have courses to teach besides occasional guest lectures and I constantly feel like I'm drowning with just my research commitments. I try not to compare my progress/pace with others but some days it's hard not to. But right now I actually do want to know how others manage to handle all these things successfully.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "There are many things I am required to do. Not to do to the best of my ability, just to complete. You have to prioritise your standards.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "How do you... Do it all? I've been at a crossroads with academia for more than a year now. I'm a post doc right now (courting industry jobs because my current environment has been toxic for my mental health). I love my topic, I love the IDEA of what academia could be for me, but I've seen very little of it materialize for me (I'm also tired of a post doc that looks good on paper but in practice has been unsupportive, and often hostile). I think I'm at a point where I'm tired of the weird facade academia makes everyone put on like they're at peak productivity and continuously improving (when my experience has been that a lot of it is hand waving). Tonight I was thinking about all the things I have to tackle this coming week and I wondered... Is this it forever if I choose to stay? Presentations/teaching, re-hauling analyses / manuscripts, meetings that go no where or at least feel that way, and all the other things that come with academia. Honestly writing it out doesn't make it seem so bad, but then there's the conflict of all the projects and things feel like they are ALL urgent or a priority, juggling deadlines, and unexpected things that come up, PLUS trying to have a life outside of work. How do you (honestly) deal with it all? I don't even have courses to teach besides occasional guest lectures and I constantly feel like I'm drowning with just my research commitments. I try not to compare my progress/pace with others but some days it's hard not to. But right now I actually do want to know how others manage to handle all these things successfully.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Through a decision that was only partly in my control I’m no longer employed within an academic institution, and I wish I had your problems. I still work with various groups, mostly for free because I love science and I really want to improve and be better, and push the limits! Let me reassure you that if you do choose to leave unless you have something very fascinating and wonderful to do and achieve in life you will become very bored. The stress and workload of academia are worth it to be a part of the frontiers of human knowledge. Before you make any big decision, remember what got you motivated to do your studies, high five some of your students and talk to them about their lives, and go tell your department chair that he’s doing an awesome job. Then think about what you have and what you want in life very carefully. Fuck tiredness, go to the gym, roll into a new project, and rekindle your passions ❤️", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "How do you... Do it all? I've been at a crossroads with academia for more than a year now. I'm a post doc right now (courting industry jobs because my current environment has been toxic for my mental health). I love my topic, I love the IDEA of what academia could be for me, but I've seen very little of it materialize for me (I'm also tired of a post doc that looks good on paper but in practice has been unsupportive, and often hostile). I think I'm at a point where I'm tired of the weird facade academia makes everyone put on like they're at peak productivity and continuously improving (when my experience has been that a lot of it is hand waving). Tonight I was thinking about all the things I have to tackle this coming week and I wondered... Is this it forever if I choose to stay? Presentations/teaching, re-hauling analyses / manuscripts, meetings that go no where or at least feel that way, and all the other things that come with academia. Honestly writing it out doesn't make it seem so bad, but then there's the conflict of all the projects and things feel like they are ALL urgent or a priority, juggling deadlines, and unexpected things that come up, PLUS trying to have a life outside of work. How do you (honestly) deal with it all? I don't even have courses to teach besides occasional guest lectures and I constantly feel like I'm drowning with just my research commitments. I try not to compare my progress/pace with others but some days it's hard not to. But right now I actually do want to know how others manage to handle all these things successfully.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "There are many things I am required to do. Not to do to the best of my ability, just to complete. You have to prioritise your standards.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "How do you... Do it all? I've been at a crossroads with academia for more than a year now. I'm a post doc right now (courting industry jobs because my current environment has been toxic for my mental health). I love my topic, I love the IDEA of what academia could be for me, but I've seen very little of it materialize for me (I'm also tired of a post doc that looks good on paper but in practice has been unsupportive, and often hostile). I think I'm at a point where I'm tired of the weird facade academia makes everyone put on like they're at peak productivity and continuously improving (when my experience has been that a lot of it is hand waving). Tonight I was thinking about all the things I have to tackle this coming week and I wondered... Is this it forever if I choose to stay? Presentations/teaching, re-hauling analyses / manuscripts, meetings that go no where or at least feel that way, and all the other things that come with academia. Honestly writing it out doesn't make it seem so bad, but then there's the conflict of all the projects and things feel like they are ALL urgent or a priority, juggling deadlines, and unexpected things that come up, PLUS trying to have a life outside of work. How do you (honestly) deal with it all? I don't even have courses to teach besides occasional guest lectures and I constantly feel like I'm drowning with just my research commitments. I try not to compare my progress/pace with others but some days it's hard not to. But right now I actually do want to know how others manage to handle all these things successfully.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Energy drinks and staying up till 5 am. Don't be me. Get a job at a better school (no matter how much you love students who are struggling) or get a job in industry.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "How do you... Do it all? I've been at a crossroads with academia for more than a year now. I'm a post doc right now (courting industry jobs because my current environment has been toxic for my mental health). I love my topic, I love the IDEA of what academia could be for me, but I've seen very little of it materialize for me (I'm also tired of a post doc that looks good on paper but in practice has been unsupportive, and often hostile). I think I'm at a point where I'm tired of the weird facade academia makes everyone put on like they're at peak productivity and continuously improving (when my experience has been that a lot of it is hand waving). Tonight I was thinking about all the things I have to tackle this coming week and I wondered... Is this it forever if I choose to stay? Presentations/teaching, re-hauling analyses / manuscripts, meetings that go no where or at least feel that way, and all the other things that come with academia. Honestly writing it out doesn't make it seem so bad, but then there's the conflict of all the projects and things feel like they are ALL urgent or a priority, juggling deadlines, and unexpected things that come up, PLUS trying to have a life outside of work. How do you (honestly) deal with it all? I don't even have courses to teach besides occasional guest lectures and I constantly feel like I'm drowning with just my research commitments. I try not to compare my progress/pace with others but some days it's hard not to. But right now I actually do want to know how others manage to handle all these things successfully.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I’m a postdoc too, and I think the first thing to recognize is there are things you *have* to do and many, many optional ones. Like, my job right now is to crank out papers. Second to that I will only accept jobs I legit *want* to do, like take on a summer student or outreach or a search committee. I’m not afraid to say no when it’s not a job I actually want to do. Second, a supportive supervisor who recognizes the above and won’t pile on random things that won’t help you with the primary goal makes all the difference. I’m sorry to hear you don’t have that, that can be overwhelming. :( Third, people don’t want to say this too loud, but a supportive life partner makes all the difference. My academic life became *way* easier once we met and moved in together because my husband doesn’t mind running laundry while he works from home, is really handy when things need fixing, and can cook dinner on nights when I need to work a little extra. Sure I will fold the laundry, make up by cooking the next night, etc, but the fact of the matter is I’ve outsourced a lot of non work related tasks to someone who doesn’t mind them, and that frees up so much mentally! I 100% acknowledge that this last point is not fair and our fields should not be set up so one supportive partner is so important to do your job. But I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t a healthy chunk of my postdoc productivity right there.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "How do you... Do it all? I've been at a crossroads with academia for more than a year now. I'm a post doc right now (courting industry jobs because my current environment has been toxic for my mental health). I love my topic, I love the IDEA of what academia could be for me, but I've seen very little of it materialize for me (I'm also tired of a post doc that looks good on paper but in practice has been unsupportive, and often hostile). I think I'm at a point where I'm tired of the weird facade academia makes everyone put on like they're at peak productivity and continuously improving (when my experience has been that a lot of it is hand waving). Tonight I was thinking about all the things I have to tackle this coming week and I wondered... Is this it forever if I choose to stay? Presentations/teaching, re-hauling analyses / manuscripts, meetings that go no where or at least feel that way, and all the other things that come with academia. Honestly writing it out doesn't make it seem so bad, but then there's the conflict of all the projects and things feel like they are ALL urgent or a priority, juggling deadlines, and unexpected things that come up, PLUS trying to have a life outside of work. How do you (honestly) deal with it all? I don't even have courses to teach besides occasional guest lectures and I constantly feel like I'm drowning with just my research commitments. I try not to compare my progress/pace with others but some days it's hard not to. But right now I actually do want to know how others manage to handle all these things successfully.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I feel the same way you do!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "How do you... Do it all? I've been at a crossroads with academia for more than a year now. I'm a post doc right now (courting industry jobs because my current environment has been toxic for my mental health). I love my topic, I love the IDEA of what academia could be for me, but I've seen very little of it materialize for me (I'm also tired of a post doc that looks good on paper but in practice has been unsupportive, and often hostile). I think I'm at a point where I'm tired of the weird facade academia makes everyone put on like they're at peak productivity and continuously improving (when my experience has been that a lot of it is hand waving). Tonight I was thinking about all the things I have to tackle this coming week and I wondered... Is this it forever if I choose to stay? Presentations/teaching, re-hauling analyses / manuscripts, meetings that go no where or at least feel that way, and all the other things that come with academia. Honestly writing it out doesn't make it seem so bad, but then there's the conflict of all the projects and things feel like they are ALL urgent or a priority, juggling deadlines, and unexpected things that come up, PLUS trying to have a life outside of work. How do you (honestly) deal with it all? I don't even have courses to teach besides occasional guest lectures and I constantly feel like I'm drowning with just my research commitments. I try not to compare my progress/pace with others but some days it's hard not to. But right now I actually do want to know how others manage to handle all these things successfully.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I’m a postdoc too, and I think the first thing to recognize is there are things you *have* to do and many, many optional ones. Like, my job right now is to crank out papers. Second to that I will only accept jobs I legit *want* to do, like take on a summer student or outreach or a search committee. I’m not afraid to say no when it’s not a job I actually want to do. Second, a supportive supervisor who recognizes the above and won’t pile on random things that won’t help you with the primary goal makes all the difference. I’m sorry to hear you don’t have that, that can be overwhelming. :( Third, people don’t want to say this too loud, but a supportive life partner makes all the difference. My academic life became *way* easier once we met and moved in together because my husband doesn’t mind running laundry while he works from home, is really handy when things need fixing, and can cook dinner on nights when I need to work a little extra. Sure I will fold the laundry, make up by cooking the next night, etc, but the fact of the matter is I’ve outsourced a lot of non work related tasks to someone who doesn’t mind them, and that frees up so much mentally! I 100% acknowledge that this last point is not fair and our fields should not be set up so one supportive partner is so important to do your job. But I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t a healthy chunk of my postdoc productivity right there.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Is it even realistic/feasible to become a professor anymore? I have always wanted to become a professor. I absolutely love teaching and was fortunate enough to have my name published on some publications throughout undergrad and grad school. However, due to the current job market, it seems that all Academia is filled with now are burnt out people making below minimum wages as adjunct professors. I want to become a professor, but I also need to put food on the table for my family. Is it actually realistic to become a professor without being some research rockstar? (especially with projected college attendance) If not, is a lecturer position easier to obtain? I’m asking because I have a choice to either go into industry with my masters or get my Ph.D (and I don’t want to commit more time to grad school if the job market is as awful as people say it is).", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, but you must be a business professor or the brightest most hardworking well-connected person in some other field.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Is it even realistic/feasible to become a professor anymore? I have always wanted to become a professor. I absolutely love teaching and was fortunate enough to have my name published on some publications throughout undergrad and grad school. However, due to the current job market, it seems that all Academia is filled with now are burnt out people making below minimum wages as adjunct professors. I want to become a professor, but I also need to put food on the table for my family. Is it actually realistic to become a professor without being some research rockstar? (especially with projected college attendance) If not, is a lecturer position easier to obtain? I’m asking because I have a choice to either go into industry with my masters or get my Ph.D (and I don’t want to commit more time to grad school if the job market is as awful as people say it is).", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I’m applying for a workforce education position in my subject area (diversity and inclusion) and it pays more in Year One than I would make as an Associate Professor at the R1 I am getting my PhD at. Twice as much as the post doc I applied for. 40 hour week. Long term potential. Will I research? No. But will I miss it? Might not. Academia is a pyramid scheme and those who have made it will disproportionality tell you it’s possible.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Is it even realistic/feasible to become a professor anymore? I have always wanted to become a professor. I absolutely love teaching and was fortunate enough to have my name published on some publications throughout undergrad and grad school. However, due to the current job market, it seems that all Academia is filled with now are burnt out people making below minimum wages as adjunct professors. I want to become a professor, but I also need to put food on the table for my family. Is it actually realistic to become a professor without being some research rockstar? (especially with projected college attendance) If not, is a lecturer position easier to obtain? I’m asking because I have a choice to either go into industry with my masters or get my Ph.D (and I don’t want to commit more time to grad school if the job market is as awful as people say it is).", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, but you must be a business professor or the brightest most hardworking well-connected person in some other field.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Is it even realistic/feasible to become a professor anymore? I have always wanted to become a professor. I absolutely love teaching and was fortunate enough to have my name published on some publications throughout undergrad and grad school. However, due to the current job market, it seems that all Academia is filled with now are burnt out people making below minimum wages as adjunct professors. I want to become a professor, but I also need to put food on the table for my family. Is it actually realistic to become a professor without being some research rockstar? (especially with projected college attendance) If not, is a lecturer position easier to obtain? I’m asking because I have a choice to either go into industry with my masters or get my Ph.D (and I don’t want to commit more time to grad school if the job market is as awful as people say it is).", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Beyond what others have said, in my experience people who left academia because they didn't find opportunities landed elsewhere pretty comfortably--after all, they're invariably smart people capable of self-directed work on projects with very long timeframes. In other words, they're quite valuable. The people I've seen most unhappy are those who, in retrospect, probably should have left earlier. But even that unhappiness was usually temporary. I also think there's a tendency to paint academia as a nirvana of the mind and industry or the private sector more generally as as an intellectual wasteland and both these stereotypes are way off.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Is it even realistic/feasible to become a professor anymore? I have always wanted to become a professor. I absolutely love teaching and was fortunate enough to have my name published on some publications throughout undergrad and grad school. However, due to the current job market, it seems that all Academia is filled with now are burnt out people making below minimum wages as adjunct professors. I want to become a professor, but I also need to put food on the table for my family. Is it actually realistic to become a professor without being some research rockstar? (especially with projected college attendance) If not, is a lecturer position easier to obtain? I’m asking because I have a choice to either go into industry with my masters or get my Ph.D (and I don’t want to commit more time to grad school if the job market is as awful as people say it is).", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, but you must be a business professor or the brightest most hardworking well-connected person in some other field.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Is it even realistic/feasible to become a professor anymore? I have always wanted to become a professor. I absolutely love teaching and was fortunate enough to have my name published on some publications throughout undergrad and grad school. However, due to the current job market, it seems that all Academia is filled with now are burnt out people making below minimum wages as adjunct professors. I want to become a professor, but I also need to put food on the table for my family. Is it actually realistic to become a professor without being some research rockstar? (especially with projected college attendance) If not, is a lecturer position easier to obtain? I’m asking because I have a choice to either go into industry with my masters or get my Ph.D (and I don’t want to commit more time to grad school if the job market is as awful as people say it is).", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm a community college professor who worked in industry first. If teaching really is your jam, I might suggest going into industry but then teaching nights or online first as an adjunct. I wanted to try teaching and got on as adjunct fairly quickly to teach at night while working industry during the day. Absolutely loved teaching and got lucky getting a full time gig. Research is not my forte, so I'm exactly where I need to be. At the community college level you do realistically have to put in some time as adjunct because the full time positions usually don't open up all that often and we are going to usually hire people we know are good professors from our pool of adjuncts. Not always, but most of the time. I will say that right now in my department there is a lot of turnover happening with covid and online classes convincing a lot of the old guard to retire before they originally planned. We had three positions open up this summer and I haven't seen that before. Maybe look that route wherever you are. I'll add that PhDs get paid better, I only have my masters. I still can support a family of four off of my income, fwiw.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Is it even realistic/feasible to become a professor anymore? I have always wanted to become a professor. I absolutely love teaching and was fortunate enough to have my name published on some publications throughout undergrad and grad school. However, due to the current job market, it seems that all Academia is filled with now are burnt out people making below minimum wages as adjunct professors. I want to become a professor, but I also need to put food on the table for my family. Is it actually realistic to become a professor without being some research rockstar? (especially with projected college attendance) If not, is a lecturer position easier to obtain? I’m asking because I have a choice to either go into industry with my masters or get my Ph.D (and I don’t want to commit more time to grad school if the job market is as awful as people say it is).", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, but you must be a business professor or the brightest most hardworking well-connected person in some other field.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Is it even realistic/feasible to become a professor anymore? I have always wanted to become a professor. I absolutely love teaching and was fortunate enough to have my name published on some publications throughout undergrad and grad school. However, due to the current job market, it seems that all Academia is filled with now are burnt out people making below minimum wages as adjunct professors. I want to become a professor, but I also need to put food on the table for my family. Is it actually realistic to become a professor without being some research rockstar? (especially with projected college attendance) If not, is a lecturer position easier to obtain? I’m asking because I have a choice to either go into industry with my masters or get my Ph.D (and I don’t want to commit more time to grad school if the job market is as awful as people say it is).", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Nailed it. Adjunct indentured service. Its a pyramid scheme with the corporate wanks exploiting the proletariat just like most capital businesses in 2020. Don’t do it for cash or ROI on yer lame PhD. Get in and stay in the relationship for the only reason that martyrs...the kids.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I'm an undergrad and I was invited to give a talk, expenses paid!! I'm sorry if this is the wrong sub, or against the rules, but no one around me knows enough about academia to be as excited as I am. This is going to be my fourth talk, but the first one I've actually be invited to without having to submit anything. I'm so psyched!! This is going to be amazing for my applications, and amazing experience as well.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well done! Knock ‘em dead!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I'm an undergrad and I was invited to give a talk, expenses paid!! I'm sorry if this is the wrong sub, or against the rules, but no one around me knows enough about academia to be as excited as I am. This is going to be my fourth talk, but the first one I've actually be invited to without having to submit anything. I'm so psyched!! This is going to be amazing for my applications, and amazing experience as well.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Fantastic! I'm curious, what will you be talking about?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I'm an undergrad and I was invited to give a talk, expenses paid!! I'm sorry if this is the wrong sub, or against the rules, but no one around me knows enough about academia to be as excited as I am. This is going to be my fourth talk, but the first one I've actually be invited to without having to submit anything. I'm so psyched!! This is going to be amazing for my applications, and amazing experience as well.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well done! Knock ‘em dead!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I'm an undergrad and I was invited to give a talk, expenses paid!! I'm sorry if this is the wrong sub, or against the rules, but no one around me knows enough about academia to be as excited as I am. This is going to be my fourth talk, but the first one I've actually be invited to without having to submit anything. I'm so psyched!! This is going to be amazing for my applications, and amazing experience as well.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Congratulations! Academia needs to be open to diverse voices, and it's critical that the workshop host institution isn't putting any barriers to your participation. How do you reach the podium? Is there a small ladder or a rope hung from the wall near the dais? Do they provide tall trees for your accommodation needs? Are they offering reimbursement in appropriate remunerative units, such as dollars or acorns?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My PhD student constantly tries to manipulate me. We are in the U.K. and the subject is computer science. Whenever he emails or talks to me he uses weird wording and always tries to manipulate me to comply with something and then pretends it’s something else that we agreed on. He never says yes or no when I ask him about anything really. Always vague language. What can I do? I have reported him and nothing happens.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Don’t respond to his emails that includes this manipulation. You are his supervisor, yes?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My PhD student constantly tries to manipulate me. We are in the U.K. and the subject is computer science. Whenever he emails or talks to me he uses weird wording and always tries to manipulate me to comply with something and then pretends it’s something else that we agreed on. He never says yes or no when I ask him about anything really. Always vague language. What can I do? I have reported him and nothing happens.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Stop asking him questions that he can hand-wave away. Enforce clear deadlines with well described outcomes. Communicate by email, so there is a written record. Be explicit when you dismiss something he's trying to manipulate you about, so there is no ambigueity, and redirect the conversation to what you want it to cover. You're his supervisor, not his undergraduate!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My PhD student constantly tries to manipulate me. We are in the U.K. and the subject is computer science. Whenever he emails or talks to me he uses weird wording and always tries to manipulate me to comply with something and then pretends it’s something else that we agreed on. He never says yes or no when I ask him about anything really. Always vague language. What can I do? I have reported him and nothing happens.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Tell him to take a writing course so that he can improve his English, otherwise you’ll have to fire him since his communication skills are too opaque.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My PhD student constantly tries to manipulate me. We are in the U.K. and the subject is computer science. Whenever he emails or talks to me he uses weird wording and always tries to manipulate me to comply with something and then pretends it’s something else that we agreed on. He never says yes or no when I ask him about anything really. Always vague language. What can I do? I have reported him and nothing happens.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You’re his supervisor. You need to learn how to do that and what it means. Even if you did agree to something explicit in an email, you have the authority to turn around and tell him you changed your mind. He has absolutely no power to “trick” you into anything as your word is pretty much final. Now, you shouldn’t abuse that and you should be supportive, fair, etc but if he’s playing stupid games, let him win a few stupid prizes. It sounds like you also might need support from more experienced supervisors, normally if someone is inexperienced there’d be a second supervisor with more experience (and as a backup in case you’re hit by a bus). Do you have a second supervisor? If not, talk to whoever is your departmental PGR tutor.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My PhD student constantly tries to manipulate me. We are in the U.K. and the subject is computer science. Whenever he emails or talks to me he uses weird wording and always tries to manipulate me to comply with something and then pretends it’s something else that we agreed on. He never says yes or no when I ask him about anything really. Always vague language. What can I do? I have reported him and nothing happens.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Can you fire him?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My PhD student constantly tries to manipulate me. We are in the U.K. and the subject is computer science. Whenever he emails or talks to me he uses weird wording and always tries to manipulate me to comply with something and then pretends it’s something else that we agreed on. He never says yes or no when I ask him about anything really. Always vague language. What can I do? I have reported him and nothing happens.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You’re his supervisor. You need to learn how to do that and what it means. Even if you did agree to something explicit in an email, you have the authority to turn around and tell him you changed your mind. He has absolutely no power to “trick” you into anything as your word is pretty much final. Now, you shouldn’t abuse that and you should be supportive, fair, etc but if he’s playing stupid games, let him win a few stupid prizes. It sounds like you also might need support from more experienced supervisors, normally if someone is inexperienced there’d be a second supervisor with more experience (and as a backup in case you’re hit by a bus). Do you have a second supervisor? If not, talk to whoever is your departmental PGR tutor.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My PhD student constantly tries to manipulate me. We are in the U.K. and the subject is computer science. Whenever he emails or talks to me he uses weird wording and always tries to manipulate me to comply with something and then pretends it’s something else that we agreed on. He never says yes or no when I ask him about anything really. Always vague language. What can I do? I have reported him and nothing happens.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't know about how it works at other universities, but where I am now we get briefly evaluated every year (nothing intense, it's basically just the advisor signing off on 'yes, this person is making satisfactory progress'). But that does imply that an advisor could say \"sorry, we're not renewing funding for this student this year\"-- if this student is such a bad fit for you perhaps that's an option?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My PhD student constantly tries to manipulate me. We are in the U.K. and the subject is computer science. Whenever he emails or talks to me he uses weird wording and always tries to manipulate me to comply with something and then pretends it’s something else that we agreed on. He never says yes or no when I ask him about anything really. Always vague language. What can I do? I have reported him and nothing happens.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You’re his supervisor. You need to learn how to do that and what it means. Even if you did agree to something explicit in an email, you have the authority to turn around and tell him you changed your mind. He has absolutely no power to “trick” you into anything as your word is pretty much final. Now, you shouldn’t abuse that and you should be supportive, fair, etc but if he’s playing stupid games, let him win a few stupid prizes. It sounds like you also might need support from more experienced supervisors, normally if someone is inexperienced there’d be a second supervisor with more experience (and as a backup in case you’re hit by a bus). Do you have a second supervisor? If not, talk to whoever is your departmental PGR tutor.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My PhD student constantly tries to manipulate me. We are in the U.K. and the subject is computer science. Whenever he emails or talks to me he uses weird wording and always tries to manipulate me to comply with something and then pretends it’s something else that we agreed on. He never says yes or no when I ask him about anything really. Always vague language. What can I do? I have reported him and nothing happens.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Tell him to take a writing course so that he can improve his English, otherwise you’ll have to fire him since his communication skills are too opaque.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My PhD student constantly tries to manipulate me. We are in the U.K. and the subject is computer science. Whenever he emails or talks to me he uses weird wording and always tries to manipulate me to comply with something and then pretends it’s something else that we agreed on. He never says yes or no when I ask him about anything really. Always vague language. What can I do? I have reported him and nothing happens.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Too vague.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "How do I combat the feeling of \"I am not becoming an expert in anything\" during my PhD ? Hello Fellow Academics, I am a PhD student in my 3rd year (4 year PhD program) I have finished course requirements for my program and have been working on this research project for about two years now. Last year or so was particularly bad for me, zero productivity, motivation problems, this feeling of \"I was hoping to learn X from my PhD and be an expert in that, but I am no where being a close to an expert in anything\". On top of that, I have this constant feeling of not learning anything new. I had this feeling before and that lead to a lot of apathy towards my projects / PhD. I do not want to get there again. ​ Question : Do you all have similar feeling(s) ? Have you able to develop any habits that help combat this feeling ? stuff like : Read a research paper every week / Implement (in code) a new research paper every week ? ​ To give some context, I am doing my PhD in trying to solve problems in Computational Materials Science using Machine learning. I did my MSc. in Machine learning and want to keep learning more in that field. But I am not a Physicist. At this point I feel I can not call myself an expert in Material Science nor Machine learning.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I still feel that way, years after finishing mine. It’s gotten miles better though. I think it just comes with time, because you slowly know your area more and more. My best advice is to try to read at least one paper a day, amassing your foundational knowledge. Use a reference management system so that you can see how much you’ve read and find things easily. And then write as much as you can so that you practice citation retrieval more until it comes second nature that X articles fit there. That’s expertise right there!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "How do I combat the feeling of \"I am not becoming an expert in anything\" during my PhD ? Hello Fellow Academics, I am a PhD student in my 3rd year (4 year PhD program) I have finished course requirements for my program and have been working on this research project for about two years now. Last year or so was particularly bad for me, zero productivity, motivation problems, this feeling of \"I was hoping to learn X from my PhD and be an expert in that, but I am no where being a close to an expert in anything\". On top of that, I have this constant feeling of not learning anything new. I had this feeling before and that lead to a lot of apathy towards my projects / PhD. I do not want to get there again. ​ Question : Do you all have similar feeling(s) ? Have you able to develop any habits that help combat this feeling ? stuff like : Read a research paper every week / Implement (in code) a new research paper every week ? ​ To give some context, I am doing my PhD in trying to solve problems in Computational Materials Science using Machine learning. I did my MSc. in Machine learning and want to keep learning more in that field. But I am not a Physicist. At this point I feel I can not call myself an expert in Material Science nor Machine learning.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Serious answer: 1. This is a problem most people have. You’re not alone. 2. start writing your thesis. Really. You should aim your thesis at a good graduate level, ie you, just before you started. When you start trying to explain what you know now, to the person who knows what you did when you started, trust me, you’ll see very quickly the expert you’ve become.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "How do I combat the feeling of \"I am not becoming an expert in anything\" during my PhD ? Hello Fellow Academics, I am a PhD student in my 3rd year (4 year PhD program) I have finished course requirements for my program and have been working on this research project for about two years now. Last year or so was particularly bad for me, zero productivity, motivation problems, this feeling of \"I was hoping to learn X from my PhD and be an expert in that, but I am no where being a close to an expert in anything\". On top of that, I have this constant feeling of not learning anything new. I had this feeling before and that lead to a lot of apathy towards my projects / PhD. I do not want to get there again. ​ Question : Do you all have similar feeling(s) ? Have you able to develop any habits that help combat this feeling ? stuff like : Read a research paper every week / Implement (in code) a new research paper every week ? ​ To give some context, I am doing my PhD in trying to solve problems in Computational Materials Science using Machine learning. I did my MSc. in Machine learning and want to keep learning more in that field. But I am not a Physicist. At this point I feel I can not call myself an expert in Material Science nor Machine learning.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I sort of am in a similar field and I think in general the key is to adjust your expectations a bit, and focus on gaining competency. Expertise is incremental. Also, computational materials science is sort of one of those fields that is almost more methods and process based than domain based, if that makes sense? So it might feel like you don’t know a lot about any one single specific problem, if you’re more focused on the process of how to solve problems.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "How do I combat the feeling of \"I am not becoming an expert in anything\" during my PhD ? Hello Fellow Academics, I am a PhD student in my 3rd year (4 year PhD program) I have finished course requirements for my program and have been working on this research project for about two years now. Last year or so was particularly bad for me, zero productivity, motivation problems, this feeling of \"I was hoping to learn X from my PhD and be an expert in that, but I am no where being a close to an expert in anything\". On top of that, I have this constant feeling of not learning anything new. I had this feeling before and that lead to a lot of apathy towards my projects / PhD. I do not want to get there again. ​ Question : Do you all have similar feeling(s) ? Have you able to develop any habits that help combat this feeling ? stuff like : Read a research paper every week / Implement (in code) a new research paper every week ? ​ To give some context, I am doing my PhD in trying to solve problems in Computational Materials Science using Machine learning. I did my MSc. in Machine learning and want to keep learning more in that field. But I am not a Physicist. At this point I feel I can not call myself an expert in Material Science nor Machine learning.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Read the classic Dunning-Kruger paper to recognize that understanding the limits of your competence is a sign of competence. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10626367/", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "TIFU. How do I recover? Long story short and some details intentionally vague: * PhD student * invited to present at prestigious conference * conference organizers asked me to pay travel expenses and then submit reimbursement * conference cancelled (COVID), said they can no longer reimburse * this is where I fucked up: I need the money badly. I got the final \"no\" at an especially bad moment in my life. I sent an email that explained in gory detail that on top of everything else going on, my mom ODed and my younger sister is in foster care, and angrily demanding they reimburse me. I know I am in the right but that it was not the right way to handle it. * conference organizers didn't even reply to me, forwarded the email to my PhD supervisor and director of graduate studies and told them to \"address\" my \"misbehavior\" * PhD supervisor said he is \"disappointed\" and we need to meet with graduate school to discuss \"corrective action\" * I have talked to the ombudsman's office and they are pretty supportive and helpful * what I really need help with is: I regret that email so badly. I regret unloading all my pain on people who have nothing to do with it and more than that I regret airing my dirty laundry so that now the whole graduate school knows it. I know my PI is not really a nice guy, and I don't expect any sympathy from him. **How do I look these people in the eye knowing that everyone now thinks of me as a trashy loose cannon instead of the promising young student I was a few weeks ago?**", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm very sorry you are going through this horrible situation. You acknowledge that you made a huge mistake, I think it is right. I don't know what you wrote in that email and if it was bad enough to justify they don't show any sympathy for what you are going through, although I am not that surprised considering most people in academia are from a very privileged background and are not likely to understand at all what you are going through. Anyways, here I what I would do if I were you: I think you should first write to the airline and hotel to politely ask for reimbursements. You are not the only one cancelling travel right now. You should then write to the conference organizers saying that you are very sorry for your email. That you are going through a very rough time right now but it is no excuse for what you said in that message. That you took action to be reimbursed by the airline etc. and shouldn't have burdened them with your personal issues. That you are again very very sorry. Send a separate message to your advisor to say that you are sorry you got them involved in all of this and that you sent an apology message to the organizers. You could ask the ombudsman to review these emails if they seem open to it. After that, keep your head up and power through. Time will pass and they will forget about it. Remember that you're a lot tougher than most of your colleagues and will get over this. Continue doing awesome work, that will be what people will remember in the end.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "TIFU. How do I recover? Long story short and some details intentionally vague: * PhD student * invited to present at prestigious conference * conference organizers asked me to pay travel expenses and then submit reimbursement * conference cancelled (COVID), said they can no longer reimburse * this is where I fucked up: I need the money badly. I got the final \"no\" at an especially bad moment in my life. I sent an email that explained in gory detail that on top of everything else going on, my mom ODed and my younger sister is in foster care, and angrily demanding they reimburse me. I know I am in the right but that it was not the right way to handle it. * conference organizers didn't even reply to me, forwarded the email to my PhD supervisor and director of graduate studies and told them to \"address\" my \"misbehavior\" * PhD supervisor said he is \"disappointed\" and we need to meet with graduate school to discuss \"corrective action\" * I have talked to the ombudsman's office and they are pretty supportive and helpful * what I really need help with is: I regret that email so badly. I regret unloading all my pain on people who have nothing to do with it and more than that I regret airing my dirty laundry so that now the whole graduate school knows it. I know my PI is not really a nice guy, and I don't expect any sympathy from him. **How do I look these people in the eye knowing that everyone now thinks of me as a trashy loose cannon instead of the promising young student I was a few weeks ago?**", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I understand that you might have kiss some boots to make things right, but honestly don't beat yourself up about this. Was it a bit unprofessional? Sure. But what the conference organizer did, first refusing to reimburse you and then forwarding your email, was far worse in my books. You are a student and it sounds like you are a good person going through a really hard time. What's their excuse for the way they acted? No decent human in your department will think poorly of you for this.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "TIFU. How do I recover? Long story short and some details intentionally vague: * PhD student * invited to present at prestigious conference * conference organizers asked me to pay travel expenses and then submit reimbursement * conference cancelled (COVID), said they can no longer reimburse * this is where I fucked up: I need the money badly. I got the final \"no\" at an especially bad moment in my life. I sent an email that explained in gory detail that on top of everything else going on, my mom ODed and my younger sister is in foster care, and angrily demanding they reimburse me. I know I am in the right but that it was not the right way to handle it. * conference organizers didn't even reply to me, forwarded the email to my PhD supervisor and director of graduate studies and told them to \"address\" my \"misbehavior\" * PhD supervisor said he is \"disappointed\" and we need to meet with graduate school to discuss \"corrective action\" * I have talked to the ombudsman's office and they are pretty supportive and helpful * what I really need help with is: I regret that email so badly. I regret unloading all my pain on people who have nothing to do with it and more than that I regret airing my dirty laundry so that now the whole graduate school knows it. I know my PI is not really a nice guy, and I don't expect any sympathy from him. **How do I look these people in the eye knowing that everyone now thinks of me as a trashy loose cannon instead of the promising young student I was a few weeks ago?**", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yo. Fuck those conference organizers. They may legitimately be unable to help you, and you may unfortunately suffer the consequences of the act of god/force majeure/whatever COVID19 counts as, but they as organizers are the ones failing to reimburse you fail travel you would have otherwise taken. Emailing your supervisors was grossly inappropriate. If airing stupid grievances is fair, you damn sure better publicly post how badly they fucked you over and email every person in their respective departments suggesting corrective action. (to be clear don't do this). Honestly, the organizers and your PI all sound like shit people, hopefully your DGS or someone else in a position of relative power will call them out.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "TIFU. How do I recover? Long story short and some details intentionally vague: * PhD student * invited to present at prestigious conference * conference organizers asked me to pay travel expenses and then submit reimbursement * conference cancelled (COVID), said they can no longer reimburse * this is where I fucked up: I need the money badly. I got the final \"no\" at an especially bad moment in my life. I sent an email that explained in gory detail that on top of everything else going on, my mom ODed and my younger sister is in foster care, and angrily demanding they reimburse me. I know I am in the right but that it was not the right way to handle it. * conference organizers didn't even reply to me, forwarded the email to my PhD supervisor and director of graduate studies and told them to \"address\" my \"misbehavior\" * PhD supervisor said he is \"disappointed\" and we need to meet with graduate school to discuss \"corrective action\" * I have talked to the ombudsman's office and they are pretty supportive and helpful * what I really need help with is: I regret that email so badly. I regret unloading all my pain on people who have nothing to do with it and more than that I regret airing my dirty laundry so that now the whole graduate school knows it. I know my PI is not really a nice guy, and I don't expect any sympathy from him. **How do I look these people in the eye knowing that everyone now thinks of me as a trashy loose cannon instead of the promising young student I was a few weeks ago?**", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Professor here. Unless you called these people inappropriate names, I don't think you were wrong to send that email. And honestly, even if you did, CLEARLY your circumstances are above and beyond exceptional, and their behavior is objectively shit. So, if you were my student, I'd empathize with how embarrassed you felt, but I would actually be reassuring you that people make mistakes; you're under an extraordinary amount of stress; and it will eventually blow over. Perhaps I'd make noises at the conference organizers about \"disciplining\" you, but that would be more so for your benefit. They'd be a bit less likely to badmouth you or do something else petty if they thought you were getting formally reprimanded in some way. In reality, I'd stand beside you and **try to find some funding source to help you recoup those losses.** Has it not occurred to your advisor to do this? You still need the money! The only way I could understand your advisor's response is if he **1)** cares a lot about his ego and sees all students as extensions of that ego\\* and **2)** if you threatened to harm those people. The latter would be pretty inexcusable, but *I'm not sure what the hell \"corrective action\" even means for graduate students.* If you've already expressed remorse once to the organizers and your advisor, then try to forget about this nightmare. \\*While students do somewhat reflect on us as researchers, most of us understand that every once in a while you get someone who's a difficult case (**not you**). We don't assume that our colleague encouraged or trained a difficult student to be that way. After all, you're fully formed adults by the time you get to us. Good luck with everything.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "TIFU. How do I recover? Long story short and some details intentionally vague: * PhD student * invited to present at prestigious conference * conference organizers asked me to pay travel expenses and then submit reimbursement * conference cancelled (COVID), said they can no longer reimburse * this is where I fucked up: I need the money badly. I got the final \"no\" at an especially bad moment in my life. I sent an email that explained in gory detail that on top of everything else going on, my mom ODed and my younger sister is in foster care, and angrily demanding they reimburse me. I know I am in the right but that it was not the right way to handle it. * conference organizers didn't even reply to me, forwarded the email to my PhD supervisor and director of graduate studies and told them to \"address\" my \"misbehavior\" * PhD supervisor said he is \"disappointed\" and we need to meet with graduate school to discuss \"corrective action\" * I have talked to the ombudsman's office and they are pretty supportive and helpful * what I really need help with is: I regret that email so badly. I regret unloading all my pain on people who have nothing to do with it and more than that I regret airing my dirty laundry so that now the whole graduate school knows it. I know my PI is not really a nice guy, and I don't expect any sympathy from him. **How do I look these people in the eye knowing that everyone now thinks of me as a trashy loose cannon instead of the promising young student I was a few weeks ago?**", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm very sorry you are going through this horrible situation. You acknowledge that you made a huge mistake, I think it is right. I don't know what you wrote in that email and if it was bad enough to justify they don't show any sympathy for what you are going through, although I am not that surprised considering most people in academia are from a very privileged background and are not likely to understand at all what you are going through. Anyways, here I what I would do if I were you: I think you should first write to the airline and hotel to politely ask for reimbursements. You are not the only one cancelling travel right now. You should then write to the conference organizers saying that you are very sorry for your email. That you are going through a very rough time right now but it is no excuse for what you said in that message. That you took action to be reimbursed by the airline etc. and shouldn't have burdened them with your personal issues. That you are again very very sorry. Send a separate message to your advisor to say that you are sorry you got them involved in all of this and that you sent an apology message to the organizers. You could ask the ombudsman to review these emails if they seem open to it. After that, keep your head up and power through. Time will pass and they will forget about it. Remember that you're a lot tougher than most of your colleagues and will get over this. Continue doing awesome work, that will be what people will remember in the end.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "TIFU. How do I recover? Long story short and some details intentionally vague: * PhD student * invited to present at prestigious conference * conference organizers asked me to pay travel expenses and then submit reimbursement * conference cancelled (COVID), said they can no longer reimburse * this is where I fucked up: I need the money badly. I got the final \"no\" at an especially bad moment in my life. I sent an email that explained in gory detail that on top of everything else going on, my mom ODed and my younger sister is in foster care, and angrily demanding they reimburse me. I know I am in the right but that it was not the right way to handle it. * conference organizers didn't even reply to me, forwarded the email to my PhD supervisor and director of graduate studies and told them to \"address\" my \"misbehavior\" * PhD supervisor said he is \"disappointed\" and we need to meet with graduate school to discuss \"corrective action\" * I have talked to the ombudsman's office and they are pretty supportive and helpful * what I really need help with is: I regret that email so badly. I regret unloading all my pain on people who have nothing to do with it and more than that I regret airing my dirty laundry so that now the whole graduate school knows it. I know my PI is not really a nice guy, and I don't expect any sympathy from him. **How do I look these people in the eye knowing that everyone now thinks of me as a trashy loose cannon instead of the promising young student I was a few weeks ago?**", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Professor here. Unless you called these people inappropriate names, I don't think you were wrong to send that email. And honestly, even if you did, CLEARLY your circumstances are above and beyond exceptional, and their behavior is objectively shit. So, if you were my student, I'd empathize with how embarrassed you felt, but I would actually be reassuring you that people make mistakes; you're under an extraordinary amount of stress; and it will eventually blow over. Perhaps I'd make noises at the conference organizers about \"disciplining\" you, but that would be more so for your benefit. They'd be a bit less likely to badmouth you or do something else petty if they thought you were getting formally reprimanded in some way. In reality, I'd stand beside you and **try to find some funding source to help you recoup those losses.** Has it not occurred to your advisor to do this? You still need the money! The only way I could understand your advisor's response is if he **1)** cares a lot about his ego and sees all students as extensions of that ego\\* and **2)** if you threatened to harm those people. The latter would be pretty inexcusable, but *I'm not sure what the hell \"corrective action\" even means for graduate students.* If you've already expressed remorse once to the organizers and your advisor, then try to forget about this nightmare. \\*While students do somewhat reflect on us as researchers, most of us understand that every once in a while you get someone who's a difficult case (**not you**). We don't assume that our colleague encouraged or trained a difficult student to be that way. After all, you're fully formed adults by the time you get to us. Good luck with everything.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "TIFU. How do I recover? Long story short and some details intentionally vague: * PhD student * invited to present at prestigious conference * conference organizers asked me to pay travel expenses and then submit reimbursement * conference cancelled (COVID), said they can no longer reimburse * this is where I fucked up: I need the money badly. I got the final \"no\" at an especially bad moment in my life. I sent an email that explained in gory detail that on top of everything else going on, my mom ODed and my younger sister is in foster care, and angrily demanding they reimburse me. I know I am in the right but that it was not the right way to handle it. * conference organizers didn't even reply to me, forwarded the email to my PhD supervisor and director of graduate studies and told them to \"address\" my \"misbehavior\" * PhD supervisor said he is \"disappointed\" and we need to meet with graduate school to discuss \"corrective action\" * I have talked to the ombudsman's office and they are pretty supportive and helpful * what I really need help with is: I regret that email so badly. I regret unloading all my pain on people who have nothing to do with it and more than that I regret airing my dirty laundry so that now the whole graduate school knows it. I know my PI is not really a nice guy, and I don't expect any sympathy from him. **How do I look these people in the eye knowing that everyone now thinks of me as a trashy loose cannon instead of the promising young student I was a few weeks ago?**", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Here to add that telling a grad student they couldn’t reimburse expenses was totally, wildly out of line. COVID creates a lot of complications with funding and reimbursements (I’m still sorting out some of the effects on my grant months later), but one of our obligations as faculty is absolutely to protect students from the fallout of that. They might have been in a position where doing the right thing was hard, and might have had to send you an email saying they were trying to sort stuff out but asking you to investigate other options. But just telling you no and washing their hands of it was seriously not okay. It sounds like you didn’t handle it great, but the underlying offense is theirs, and trying to shift the blame for you for not calling them out as nicely is you could have is bullshit.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "TIFU. How do I recover? Long story short and some details intentionally vague: * PhD student * invited to present at prestigious conference * conference organizers asked me to pay travel expenses and then submit reimbursement * conference cancelled (COVID), said they can no longer reimburse * this is where I fucked up: I need the money badly. I got the final \"no\" at an especially bad moment in my life. I sent an email that explained in gory detail that on top of everything else going on, my mom ODed and my younger sister is in foster care, and angrily demanding they reimburse me. I know I am in the right but that it was not the right way to handle it. * conference organizers didn't even reply to me, forwarded the email to my PhD supervisor and director of graduate studies and told them to \"address\" my \"misbehavior\" * PhD supervisor said he is \"disappointed\" and we need to meet with graduate school to discuss \"corrective action\" * I have talked to the ombudsman's office and they are pretty supportive and helpful * what I really need help with is: I regret that email so badly. I regret unloading all my pain on people who have nothing to do with it and more than that I regret airing my dirty laundry so that now the whole graduate school knows it. I know my PI is not really a nice guy, and I don't expect any sympathy from him. **How do I look these people in the eye knowing that everyone now thinks of me as a trashy loose cannon instead of the promising young student I was a few weeks ago?**", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Professor here. Unless you called these people inappropriate names, I don't think you were wrong to send that email. And honestly, even if you did, CLEARLY your circumstances are above and beyond exceptional, and their behavior is objectively shit. So, if you were my student, I'd empathize with how embarrassed you felt, but I would actually be reassuring you that people make mistakes; you're under an extraordinary amount of stress; and it will eventually blow over. Perhaps I'd make noises at the conference organizers about \"disciplining\" you, but that would be more so for your benefit. They'd be a bit less likely to badmouth you or do something else petty if they thought you were getting formally reprimanded in some way. In reality, I'd stand beside you and **try to find some funding source to help you recoup those losses.** Has it not occurred to your advisor to do this? You still need the money! The only way I could understand your advisor's response is if he **1)** cares a lot about his ego and sees all students as extensions of that ego\\* and **2)** if you threatened to harm those people. The latter would be pretty inexcusable, but *I'm not sure what the hell \"corrective action\" even means for graduate students.* If you've already expressed remorse once to the organizers and your advisor, then try to forget about this nightmare. \\*While students do somewhat reflect on us as researchers, most of us understand that every once in a while you get someone who's a difficult case (**not you**). We don't assume that our colleague encouraged or trained a difficult student to be that way. After all, you're fully formed adults by the time you get to us. Good luck with everything.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "TIFU. How do I recover? Long story short and some details intentionally vague: * PhD student * invited to present at prestigious conference * conference organizers asked me to pay travel expenses and then submit reimbursement * conference cancelled (COVID), said they can no longer reimburse * this is where I fucked up: I need the money badly. I got the final \"no\" at an especially bad moment in my life. I sent an email that explained in gory detail that on top of everything else going on, my mom ODed and my younger sister is in foster care, and angrily demanding they reimburse me. I know I am in the right but that it was not the right way to handle it. * conference organizers didn't even reply to me, forwarded the email to my PhD supervisor and director of graduate studies and told them to \"address\" my \"misbehavior\" * PhD supervisor said he is \"disappointed\" and we need to meet with graduate school to discuss \"corrective action\" * I have talked to the ombudsman's office and they are pretty supportive and helpful * what I really need help with is: I regret that email so badly. I regret unloading all my pain on people who have nothing to do with it and more than that I regret airing my dirty laundry so that now the whole graduate school knows it. I know my PI is not really a nice guy, and I don't expect any sympathy from him. **How do I look these people in the eye knowing that everyone now thinks of me as a trashy loose cannon instead of the promising young student I was a few weeks ago?**", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This is a tactic, conscious or not. When a system is broken and no one is going to devote resources to fixing it, the only alternative is to 'criminalize' those suffering from it and showing the brokenness. How inconsiderate of you to be poor. (Sorry, I'm mad about politics and mad about how you were treated. However you proceed, you are not the person who owes an apology here.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "TIFU. How do I recover? Long story short and some details intentionally vague: * PhD student * invited to present at prestigious conference * conference organizers asked me to pay travel expenses and then submit reimbursement * conference cancelled (COVID), said they can no longer reimburse * this is where I fucked up: I need the money badly. I got the final \"no\" at an especially bad moment in my life. I sent an email that explained in gory detail that on top of everything else going on, my mom ODed and my younger sister is in foster care, and angrily demanding they reimburse me. I know I am in the right but that it was not the right way to handle it. * conference organizers didn't even reply to me, forwarded the email to my PhD supervisor and director of graduate studies and told them to \"address\" my \"misbehavior\" * PhD supervisor said he is \"disappointed\" and we need to meet with graduate school to discuss \"corrective action\" * I have talked to the ombudsman's office and they are pretty supportive and helpful * what I really need help with is: I regret that email so badly. I regret unloading all my pain on people who have nothing to do with it and more than that I regret airing my dirty laundry so that now the whole graduate school knows it. I know my PI is not really a nice guy, and I don't expect any sympathy from him. **How do I look these people in the eye knowing that everyone now thinks of me as a trashy loose cannon instead of the promising young student I was a few weeks ago?**", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Professor here. Unless you called these people inappropriate names, I don't think you were wrong to send that email. And honestly, even if you did, CLEARLY your circumstances are above and beyond exceptional, and their behavior is objectively shit. So, if you were my student, I'd empathize with how embarrassed you felt, but I would actually be reassuring you that people make mistakes; you're under an extraordinary amount of stress; and it will eventually blow over. Perhaps I'd make noises at the conference organizers about \"disciplining\" you, but that would be more so for your benefit. They'd be a bit less likely to badmouth you or do something else petty if they thought you were getting formally reprimanded in some way. In reality, I'd stand beside you and **try to find some funding source to help you recoup those losses.** Has it not occurred to your advisor to do this? You still need the money! The only way I could understand your advisor's response is if he **1)** cares a lot about his ego and sees all students as extensions of that ego\\* and **2)** if you threatened to harm those people. The latter would be pretty inexcusable, but *I'm not sure what the hell \"corrective action\" even means for graduate students.* If you've already expressed remorse once to the organizers and your advisor, then try to forget about this nightmare. \\*While students do somewhat reflect on us as researchers, most of us understand that every once in a while you get someone who's a difficult case (**not you**). We don't assume that our colleague encouraged or trained a difficult student to be that way. After all, you're fully formed adults by the time you get to us. Good luck with everything.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Loss of a student TW: suicide Hi all, So sorry for the sad subject, but I could really use some advice. I'm a TA, and I found out recently that one of my students died by suicide a couple months ago. They were a student that I interacted with and met with a lot, and who I genuinely really cared about. I found out that they had passed away from a university-wide email announcing the recipients of posthumous degrees (not saying that I should have been on the list of people informed, but it was a rough way to find out). Has anyone else experienced this, and how did you handle it? It's hitting me pretty hard, and I'm really struggling. Thanks <3 (cross posted to r/GradSchool but I'm not sure it went through)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rip", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Loss of a student TW: suicide Hi all, So sorry for the sad subject, but I could really use some advice. I'm a TA, and I found out recently that one of my students died by suicide a couple months ago. They were a student that I interacted with and met with a lot, and who I genuinely really cared about. I found out that they had passed away from a university-wide email announcing the recipients of posthumous degrees (not saying that I should have been on the list of people informed, but it was a rough way to find out). Has anyone else experienced this, and how did you handle it? It's hitting me pretty hard, and I'm really struggling. Thanks <3 (cross posted to r/GradSchool but I'm not sure it went through)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I have lost 3 students over the course of my teaching career - one of them by suicide. It still bothers me, and I still sometimes wonder if there is anything I could have said or done to make a difference. As others mentioned, use any counseling services available to you. I also have a Google doc where I write down the student’s name and things I remember about them, so I know they won’t be forgotten.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Loss of a student TW: suicide Hi all, So sorry for the sad subject, but I could really use some advice. I'm a TA, and I found out recently that one of my students died by suicide a couple months ago. They were a student that I interacted with and met with a lot, and who I genuinely really cared about. I found out that they had passed away from a university-wide email announcing the recipients of posthumous degrees (not saying that I should have been on the list of people informed, but it was a rough way to find out). Has anyone else experienced this, and how did you handle it? It's hitting me pretty hard, and I'm really struggling. Thanks <3 (cross posted to r/GradSchool but I'm not sure it went through)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rip", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Loss of a student TW: suicide Hi all, So sorry for the sad subject, but I could really use some advice. I'm a TA, and I found out recently that one of my students died by suicide a couple months ago. They were a student that I interacted with and met with a lot, and who I genuinely really cared about. I found out that they had passed away from a university-wide email announcing the recipients of posthumous degrees (not saying that I should have been on the list of people informed, but it was a rough way to find out). Has anyone else experienced this, and how did you handle it? It's hitting me pretty hard, and I'm really struggling. Thanks <3 (cross posted to r/GradSchool but I'm not sure it went through)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Losing a student in any manner is very sad and difficult; sucide perhaps especially shocking and disorienting. I’m so sorry for your loss. Sad to say, if you remain in academia, this kind of thing happens from time to time and is always upsetting. I lost a former student about six years ago and still think about it. It’s definitely worthwhile to pursue grief counseling.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Loss of a student TW: suicide Hi all, So sorry for the sad subject, but I could really use some advice. I'm a TA, and I found out recently that one of my students died by suicide a couple months ago. They were a student that I interacted with and met with a lot, and who I genuinely really cared about. I found out that they had passed away from a university-wide email announcing the recipients of posthumous degrees (not saying that I should have been on the list of people informed, but it was a rough way to find out). Has anyone else experienced this, and how did you handle it? It's hitting me pretty hard, and I'm really struggling. Thanks <3 (cross posted to r/GradSchool but I'm not sure it went through)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rip", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Loss of a student TW: suicide Hi all, So sorry for the sad subject, but I could really use some advice. I'm a TA, and I found out recently that one of my students died by suicide a couple months ago. They were a student that I interacted with and met with a lot, and who I genuinely really cared about. I found out that they had passed away from a university-wide email announcing the recipients of posthumous degrees (not saying that I should have been on the list of people informed, but it was a rough way to find out). Has anyone else experienced this, and how did you handle it? It's hitting me pretty hard, and I'm really struggling. Thanks <3 (cross posted to r/GradSchool but I'm not sure it went through)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I’m really sorry for your loss. Losing a student or former student is incredibly difficult, and I hope you feel like you have folks to talk to right now. I lost two students by suicide within quick succession. I was close with both, but particularly the second. He would always eat lunch in my room and was one of those kids we had to drag across the finish line to graduate. I felt a lot of guilt because after he graduated he would message me on social media to chat, but I never really felt comfortable with talking online. In hindsight, he was clearly very lonely and needed someone to talk to. I wish I had recognized it then, but I didn’t. I tried to channel the guilt I felt by telling myself I’d do better for the next student who needed me, but this didn’t really help resolve my pain. The pain is still there nearly five years later, but it’s not nearly as acute as it was for this first half a year. If you get the chance, attending a funeral was helpful for managing my grief. The first student did have a funeral and I felt a lot more closure being able to spend time with other members from our school community. The second student didn’t have a funeral, and it seemed like it was more difficult to resolve my grief without the social/ceremonial aspects of saying goodbye with others. It’s tough to continue moving forward after losing a young person. Take stock of the resources available to you and make sure you’re taking care of yourself. Sorry again for your loss.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Loss of a student TW: suicide Hi all, So sorry for the sad subject, but I could really use some advice. I'm a TA, and I found out recently that one of my students died by suicide a couple months ago. They were a student that I interacted with and met with a lot, and who I genuinely really cared about. I found out that they had passed away from a university-wide email announcing the recipients of posthumous degrees (not saying that I should have been on the list of people informed, but it was a rough way to find out). Has anyone else experienced this, and how did you handle it? It's hitting me pretty hard, and I'm really struggling. Thanks <3 (cross posted to r/GradSchool but I'm not sure it went through)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rip", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Loss of a student TW: suicide Hi all, So sorry for the sad subject, but I could really use some advice. I'm a TA, and I found out recently that one of my students died by suicide a couple months ago. They were a student that I interacted with and met with a lot, and who I genuinely really cared about. I found out that they had passed away from a university-wide email announcing the recipients of posthumous degrees (not saying that I should have been on the list of people informed, but it was a rough way to find out). Has anyone else experienced this, and how did you handle it? It's hitting me pretty hard, and I'm really struggling. Thanks <3 (cross posted to r/GradSchool but I'm not sure it went through)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I had a lab mate die by suicide years ago, someone I coincidentally had known for years outside of academia. It came as a huge surprise, but their family was careful to tell people after the fact that, while devastated, it wasn't a complete surprise to them. This person had been dealing with issues for years and hid them from the wider world very well. At the time, that they died by suicide really bothered me. I couldn't wrap my head around it. With some hindsight, I feel about it more like the two kids I knew form high school who died in a car crash. The outcome is such a tragic waste of potential, but the cause wasn't really within the victims' control.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Loss of a student TW: suicide Hi all, So sorry for the sad subject, but I could really use some advice. I'm a TA, and I found out recently that one of my students died by suicide a couple months ago. They were a student that I interacted with and met with a lot, and who I genuinely really cared about. I found out that they had passed away from a university-wide email announcing the recipients of posthumous degrees (not saying that I should have been on the list of people informed, but it was a rough way to find out). Has anyone else experienced this, and how did you handle it? It's hitting me pretty hard, and I'm really struggling. Thanks <3 (cross posted to r/GradSchool but I'm not sure it went through)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "i'm sorry for you loss. when i was an RA (resident advisor) i lost two of my residents in one year and it was awful. i am now a lot more forward about mental health with undergraduate students, i think that's really all you can do. poor mental health in our undergraduate students in a huge issue and i know there are many people in student affairs at every institution thinking about this and uncovering ways to approach it. definitely reach out to your university counseling services about this, they have people in place for situations like this.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Loss of a student TW: suicide Hi all, So sorry for the sad subject, but I could really use some advice. I'm a TA, and I found out recently that one of my students died by suicide a couple months ago. They were a student that I interacted with and met with a lot, and who I genuinely really cared about. I found out that they had passed away from a university-wide email announcing the recipients of posthumous degrees (not saying that I should have been on the list of people informed, but it was a rough way to find out). Has anyone else experienced this, and how did you handle it? It's hitting me pretty hard, and I'm really struggling. Thanks <3 (cross posted to r/GradSchool but I'm not sure it went through)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "As someone who battles suicidal ideation and depression, I just wanted to say thank you for caring about your students. I’m sorry you’re hurting, but that student would be really touched to know you remember them. I don’t know if it’s allowed, but I’d encourage you to email the parents and share your memories with them and express your sympathy. Maybe that’s considered unprofessional, but if so, I’d say that’s really fucking sad as it further stigmatizes suicide. And the parents want to know, now more than ever, that their child is and was loved. Thanks for caring.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My advisor is in denial I'm in my final year of my PhD in a social science field, and I've been a very successful student. I've published three solo-authored articles, won a prestigious grant, and have several more papers in the pipeline. The problem is, I'm completely done with academia. I have completely lost my drive for research, and I've never enjoyed teaching. I have always feared the early-career instability and stress of getting tenure, and I have no desire to sacrifice my personal life or anything else for the sake of academia. I've been on the market twice and actually received a tenure track offer. However, I turned it down for many reasons, including that my chronic anxiety became debilitatingly bad as soon as I received the offer. I also have a two-body problem and am not willing to live apart from my spouse for an infinite amount of time and deal with the constant stress of being on the job market over and over until we find a solution. Although I turned down a tenure track job (!) and have mentioned to my advisor several times that I don't want a teaching-heavy job, don't want a postdoc or other temporary gig, and am interested in industry, he is in complete denial. Others in my department know I plan to leave, and when the topic comes up, he tells them they're wrong! Even now that I've given up on the academic market and have begun seriously applying to nonacademic positions, he keeps pushing me to stay another year and try the academic market again. I'm at my wits' end and don't know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Your PI is just a PI. Don’t let them have any affect on your life other than a positive one (as much as you have control of this…). When you’re in the thick of it it’s hard not to see them as an all knowing entity, even if they’re actually a POS (speaking from personal experience…), but the further away you get the more you realise they’re just a person, and their opinion means nothing unless you want it to.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My advisor is in denial I'm in my final year of my PhD in a social science field, and I've been a very successful student. I've published three solo-authored articles, won a prestigious grant, and have several more papers in the pipeline. The problem is, I'm completely done with academia. I have completely lost my drive for research, and I've never enjoyed teaching. I have always feared the early-career instability and stress of getting tenure, and I have no desire to sacrifice my personal life or anything else for the sake of academia. I've been on the market twice and actually received a tenure track offer. However, I turned it down for many reasons, including that my chronic anxiety became debilitatingly bad as soon as I received the offer. I also have a two-body problem and am not willing to live apart from my spouse for an infinite amount of time and deal with the constant stress of being on the job market over and over until we find a solution. Although I turned down a tenure track job (!) and have mentioned to my advisor several times that I don't want a teaching-heavy job, don't want a postdoc or other temporary gig, and am interested in industry, he is in complete denial. Others in my department know I plan to leave, and when the topic comes up, he tells them they're wrong! Even now that I've given up on the academic market and have begun seriously applying to nonacademic positions, he keeps pushing me to stay another year and try the academic market again. I'm at my wits' end and don't know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You're leaving academia. Find a job you actually like. Their opinion really doesn't matter if you're leaving the profession anyways.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My advisor is in denial I'm in my final year of my PhD in a social science field, and I've been a very successful student. I've published three solo-authored articles, won a prestigious grant, and have several more papers in the pipeline. The problem is, I'm completely done with academia. I have completely lost my drive for research, and I've never enjoyed teaching. I have always feared the early-career instability and stress of getting tenure, and I have no desire to sacrifice my personal life or anything else for the sake of academia. I've been on the market twice and actually received a tenure track offer. However, I turned it down for many reasons, including that my chronic anxiety became debilitatingly bad as soon as I received the offer. I also have a two-body problem and am not willing to live apart from my spouse for an infinite amount of time and deal with the constant stress of being on the job market over and over until we find a solution. Although I turned down a tenure track job (!) and have mentioned to my advisor several times that I don't want a teaching-heavy job, don't want a postdoc or other temporary gig, and am interested in industry, he is in complete denial. Others in my department know I plan to leave, and when the topic comes up, he tells them they're wrong! Even now that I've given up on the academic market and have begun seriously applying to nonacademic positions, he keeps pushing me to stay another year and try the academic market again. I'm at my wits' end and don't know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Your PI is just a PI. Don’t let them have any affect on your life other than a positive one (as much as you have control of this…). When you’re in the thick of it it’s hard not to see them as an all knowing entity, even if they’re actually a POS (speaking from personal experience…), but the further away you get the more you realise they’re just a person, and their opinion means nothing unless you want it to.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My advisor is in denial I'm in my final year of my PhD in a social science field, and I've been a very successful student. I've published three solo-authored articles, won a prestigious grant, and have several more papers in the pipeline. The problem is, I'm completely done with academia. I have completely lost my drive for research, and I've never enjoyed teaching. I have always feared the early-career instability and stress of getting tenure, and I have no desire to sacrifice my personal life or anything else for the sake of academia. I've been on the market twice and actually received a tenure track offer. However, I turned it down for many reasons, including that my chronic anxiety became debilitatingly bad as soon as I received the offer. I also have a two-body problem and am not willing to live apart from my spouse for an infinite amount of time and deal with the constant stress of being on the job market over and over until we find a solution. Although I turned down a tenure track job (!) and have mentioned to my advisor several times that I don't want a teaching-heavy job, don't want a postdoc or other temporary gig, and am interested in industry, he is in complete denial. Others in my department know I plan to leave, and when the topic comes up, he tells them they're wrong! Even now that I've given up on the academic market and have begun seriously applying to nonacademic positions, he keeps pushing me to stay another year and try the academic market again. I'm at my wits' end and don't know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah I'm in the \"so what?\" camp. Similar position: about to wrap up in a social science field, have always been a good student, and am completely disinterested in remaining in the academic world, at least in the R1, research-focused world of TT jobs and postdocs. My advisor literally today emailed me an announcement for a postdoc in DC even though I've made clear that I'm in a holding pattern for at minimum a year, completely disinterested in moving to a totally different region of the country while my wife would have to stay where we are at present. I could be annoyed by that ... but I'm not. Because my advisor cares about me and wants to see me be successful. That doesn't translate perfectly because he's from a different generation than me with different priorities and with wildly different level of commitment to the academic world. I'll politely thank him for forwarding something, and then delete the announcement--I have no interest in that position. But I do appreciate that he sent it. Your advisor is looking out for you, just doesn't \\*get\\* you. That's annoying, but it's not like you're telling us he's refusing to write LORs for other jobs. I know my advisor would write a LOR that extolled my virtues -- even if he said \"but Jack-ums *should* be doing academia!\" Something to learn about industry: once you do get a job in industry, NO ONE is going to care about your advisor's LOR any more. Your future recommenders will be your bosses in industry. So just get this job and don't sweat the advisor.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My advisor is in denial I'm in my final year of my PhD in a social science field, and I've been a very successful student. I've published three solo-authored articles, won a prestigious grant, and have several more papers in the pipeline. The problem is, I'm completely done with academia. I have completely lost my drive for research, and I've never enjoyed teaching. I have always feared the early-career instability and stress of getting tenure, and I have no desire to sacrifice my personal life or anything else for the sake of academia. I've been on the market twice and actually received a tenure track offer. However, I turned it down for many reasons, including that my chronic anxiety became debilitatingly bad as soon as I received the offer. I also have a two-body problem and am not willing to live apart from my spouse for an infinite amount of time and deal with the constant stress of being on the job market over and over until we find a solution. Although I turned down a tenure track job (!) and have mentioned to my advisor several times that I don't want a teaching-heavy job, don't want a postdoc or other temporary gig, and am interested in industry, he is in complete denial. Others in my department know I plan to leave, and when the topic comes up, he tells them they're wrong! Even now that I've given up on the academic market and have begun seriously applying to nonacademic positions, he keeps pushing me to stay another year and try the academic market again. I'm at my wits' end and don't know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What field are you in that offers tenure track positions to PhD students?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My advisor is in denial I'm in my final year of my PhD in a social science field, and I've been a very successful student. I've published three solo-authored articles, won a prestigious grant, and have several more papers in the pipeline. The problem is, I'm completely done with academia. I have completely lost my drive for research, and I've never enjoyed teaching. I have always feared the early-career instability and stress of getting tenure, and I have no desire to sacrifice my personal life or anything else for the sake of academia. I've been on the market twice and actually received a tenure track offer. However, I turned it down for many reasons, including that my chronic anxiety became debilitatingly bad as soon as I received the offer. I also have a two-body problem and am not willing to live apart from my spouse for an infinite amount of time and deal with the constant stress of being on the job market over and over until we find a solution. Although I turned down a tenure track job (!) and have mentioned to my advisor several times that I don't want a teaching-heavy job, don't want a postdoc or other temporary gig, and am interested in industry, he is in complete denial. Others in my department know I plan to leave, and when the topic comes up, he tells them they're wrong! Even now that I've given up on the academic market and have begun seriously applying to nonacademic positions, he keeps pushing me to stay another year and try the academic market again. I'm at my wits' end and don't know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah I'm in the \"so what?\" camp. Similar position: about to wrap up in a social science field, have always been a good student, and am completely disinterested in remaining in the academic world, at least in the R1, research-focused world of TT jobs and postdocs. My advisor literally today emailed me an announcement for a postdoc in DC even though I've made clear that I'm in a holding pattern for at minimum a year, completely disinterested in moving to a totally different region of the country while my wife would have to stay where we are at present. I could be annoyed by that ... but I'm not. Because my advisor cares about me and wants to see me be successful. That doesn't translate perfectly because he's from a different generation than me with different priorities and with wildly different level of commitment to the academic world. I'll politely thank him for forwarding something, and then delete the announcement--I have no interest in that position. But I do appreciate that he sent it. Your advisor is looking out for you, just doesn't \\*get\\* you. That's annoying, but it's not like you're telling us he's refusing to write LORs for other jobs. I know my advisor would write a LOR that extolled my virtues -- even if he said \"but Jack-ums *should* be doing academia!\" Something to learn about industry: once you do get a job in industry, NO ONE is going to care about your advisor's LOR any more. Your future recommenders will be your bosses in industry. So just get this job and don't sweat the advisor.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My advisor is in denial I'm in my final year of my PhD in a social science field, and I've been a very successful student. I've published three solo-authored articles, won a prestigious grant, and have several more papers in the pipeline. The problem is, I'm completely done with academia. I have completely lost my drive for research, and I've never enjoyed teaching. I have always feared the early-career instability and stress of getting tenure, and I have no desire to sacrifice my personal life or anything else for the sake of academia. I've been on the market twice and actually received a tenure track offer. However, I turned it down for many reasons, including that my chronic anxiety became debilitatingly bad as soon as I received the offer. I also have a two-body problem and am not willing to live apart from my spouse for an infinite amount of time and deal with the constant stress of being on the job market over and over until we find a solution. Although I turned down a tenure track job (!) and have mentioned to my advisor several times that I don't want a teaching-heavy job, don't want a postdoc or other temporary gig, and am interested in industry, he is in complete denial. Others in my department know I plan to leave, and when the topic comes up, he tells them they're wrong! Even now that I've given up on the academic market and have begun seriously applying to nonacademic positions, he keeps pushing me to stay another year and try the academic market again. I'm at my wits' end and don't know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Go into industry and chill until your burn out has passed. It will after a couple years and you may even start reading for fun again. No lie! It happened to me. You don't owe anyone other than your family anything. Move on if it serves you.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My advisor is in denial I'm in my final year of my PhD in a social science field, and I've been a very successful student. I've published three solo-authored articles, won a prestigious grant, and have several more papers in the pipeline. The problem is, I'm completely done with academia. I have completely lost my drive for research, and I've never enjoyed teaching. I have always feared the early-career instability and stress of getting tenure, and I have no desire to sacrifice my personal life or anything else for the sake of academia. I've been on the market twice and actually received a tenure track offer. However, I turned it down for many reasons, including that my chronic anxiety became debilitatingly bad as soon as I received the offer. I also have a two-body problem and am not willing to live apart from my spouse for an infinite amount of time and deal with the constant stress of being on the job market over and over until we find a solution. Although I turned down a tenure track job (!) and have mentioned to my advisor several times that I don't want a teaching-heavy job, don't want a postdoc or other temporary gig, and am interested in industry, he is in complete denial. Others in my department know I plan to leave, and when the topic comes up, he tells them they're wrong! Even now that I've given up on the academic market and have begun seriously applying to nonacademic positions, he keeps pushing me to stay another year and try the academic market again. I'm at my wits' end and don't know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah I'm in the \"so what?\" camp. Similar position: about to wrap up in a social science field, have always been a good student, and am completely disinterested in remaining in the academic world, at least in the R1, research-focused world of TT jobs and postdocs. My advisor literally today emailed me an announcement for a postdoc in DC even though I've made clear that I'm in a holding pattern for at minimum a year, completely disinterested in moving to a totally different region of the country while my wife would have to stay where we are at present. I could be annoyed by that ... but I'm not. Because my advisor cares about me and wants to see me be successful. That doesn't translate perfectly because he's from a different generation than me with different priorities and with wildly different level of commitment to the academic world. I'll politely thank him for forwarding something, and then delete the announcement--I have no interest in that position. But I do appreciate that he sent it. Your advisor is looking out for you, just doesn't \\*get\\* you. That's annoying, but it's not like you're telling us he's refusing to write LORs for other jobs. I know my advisor would write a LOR that extolled my virtues -- even if he said \"but Jack-ums *should* be doing academia!\" Something to learn about industry: once you do get a job in industry, NO ONE is going to care about your advisor's LOR any more. Your future recommenders will be your bosses in industry. So just get this job and don't sweat the advisor.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My advisor is in denial I'm in my final year of my PhD in a social science field, and I've been a very successful student. I've published three solo-authored articles, won a prestigious grant, and have several more papers in the pipeline. The problem is, I'm completely done with academia. I have completely lost my drive for research, and I've never enjoyed teaching. I have always feared the early-career instability and stress of getting tenure, and I have no desire to sacrifice my personal life or anything else for the sake of academia. I've been on the market twice and actually received a tenure track offer. However, I turned it down for many reasons, including that my chronic anxiety became debilitatingly bad as soon as I received the offer. I also have a two-body problem and am not willing to live apart from my spouse for an infinite amount of time and deal with the constant stress of being on the job market over and over until we find a solution. Although I turned down a tenure track job (!) and have mentioned to my advisor several times that I don't want a teaching-heavy job, don't want a postdoc or other temporary gig, and am interested in industry, he is in complete denial. Others in my department know I plan to leave, and when the topic comes up, he tells them they're wrong! Even now that I've given up on the academic market and have begun seriously applying to nonacademic positions, he keeps pushing me to stay another year and try the academic market again. I'm at my wits' end and don't know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Your PI is just a PI. Don’t let them have any affect on your life other than a positive one (as much as you have control of this…). When you’re in the thick of it it’s hard not to see them as an all knowing entity, even if they’re actually a POS (speaking from personal experience…), but the further away you get the more you realise they’re just a person, and their opinion means nothing unless you want it to.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My advisor is in denial I'm in my final year of my PhD in a social science field, and I've been a very successful student. I've published three solo-authored articles, won a prestigious grant, and have several more papers in the pipeline. The problem is, I'm completely done with academia. I have completely lost my drive for research, and I've never enjoyed teaching. I have always feared the early-career instability and stress of getting tenure, and I have no desire to sacrifice my personal life or anything else for the sake of academia. I've been on the market twice and actually received a tenure track offer. However, I turned it down for many reasons, including that my chronic anxiety became debilitatingly bad as soon as I received the offer. I also have a two-body problem and am not willing to live apart from my spouse for an infinite amount of time and deal with the constant stress of being on the job market over and over until we find a solution. Although I turned down a tenure track job (!) and have mentioned to my advisor several times that I don't want a teaching-heavy job, don't want a postdoc or other temporary gig, and am interested in industry, he is in complete denial. Others in my department know I plan to leave, and when the topic comes up, he tells them they're wrong! Even now that I've given up on the academic market and have begun seriously applying to nonacademic positions, he keeps pushing me to stay another year and try the academic market again. I'm at my wits' end and don't know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really don't see what the problem is here.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Fired? Hi All. Sorry for the long text in advance, but I reaaaaally need help. &#x200B; I need help understanding what's happening because I am completely lost. Here is what has happened. &#x200B; I started my PhD in another country about a month and a half ago. My two supervisors got a grant and I was able to get the position after the interviews. An important thing to know is that they work in different universities and is a multidisciplinary project, so the science they do is completely different and I was told I would have to go from one place to the other regularly. &#x200B; My first month was completely in my first supervisor university and everything went super well. We really got along, I was getting super positive feedback, I really connected with my coworkers, ... This supervisor measures our performance with a KPI thing on an excel and he told me he was super happy and that he was really surprised with how well I was doing. &#x200B; After that meeting, I was told I had to go 5 days to the lab of my other supervisor. This is when things started to get weird. I arrived there and I was getting a weird vibe from my supervisor but it was the first time we met in real life so I didn't think too much about it. She starts to show me the place and tells me that she wants to show me some IT stuff. I told her that I didn't bring my work laptop from the other place but that I had brought my personal laptop (I know this is my bad, I just assume she was going to give me one, but again completely my bad). She told me something like \"don't worry, I will send you the manuals and you can let me know if you have an issue when you go back\". After that, we started doing some work that day and everything was ok. &#x200B; The next day, we had to prepare to do some experiments with animals to extract their organs while there were still alive. Just to be clear during the interviews I was only told \"you will have to work with organs and biological samples\". So during that experiment, I felt pretty bad, told her that I was going out for a while and then came back and told her that I was sorry that I felt very uncomfortable with that. She told me to go home and to contact my other supervisor because she thought that he should know. I did that and went to sleep. &#x200B; The next day, I was able to that experiments but I was starting to receive a lot of random negative comments from this woman like \"I feel you are absolutely not interested in this project\" out of nowhere. She also told me things like \"you are not taking notes\" that at the time she told me that I was not taking notes but at other moments I was taking notes, she also said things like \"you can use your time to read papers\" that is something that I was also doing but not exactly at the moment she told me that. &#x200B; Days went by and, honestly, our relationship kind of went to this place of not really talking that much. Now I know it was a super stupid move from me. I did everything that she told me to do but I recognise that I didn't do more than what she told me to. &#x200B; The last day I was there she told me to meet her at her office. There she started saying things to me like \"I don't think you are a good student\", \"I don't think you will be able to find collaborators\", \"This PhD is going to get harder and harder\", ... To those things, I didn't really answer a lot of things other than \"sorry, the next time I come here I will try to improve\". &#x200B; The next day I had a holiday but the \"nice supervisor\" called me to go to his office. So I went and he was there waiting for me with the other supervisor on zoom. I go in and he tells me \"For legal reasons we have to record this\" (I knew things were not going well at that point). &#x200B; They started to accuse me of multiple things. Some things were true, for example, the fact that I left that day at the experiment. Other things were half-trues, for example, that I didn't take my work laptop (which is true but she didn't tell me it was a problem). Some things were lies, for example, the \"nice supervisor\" told me that he received very negative feedback from my coworkers. I later checked with them and they promised me that they gave very positive feedback in fact. And some things were absolute bullsh\\*t, for instance, they were questioning why I was living in a town and not in the city. &#x200B; After that, they told me that I was fired. They told me that if I resigned they would write me a \"somewhat good\" recommendation letter for another place but that if they had to fire me they would not do that. After a couple of minutes of discussion, I told them to give me a couple of weeks to prove to them that I can work better. They talked about it and that I had a week and a half to do it. They told me that they were going to write a list of things they want me to do, but that they were not going to give that list, I had to figure it out. &#x200B; After that, I talked with my coworkers and they presented a letter to the \"nice\" supervisor telling them that they don't agree with that decision and that they never gave negative feedback and that this letter is there to prove that they want to give positive feedback about me. Something else that I discovered while talking with my colleagues is that this supervisor started to ask them HR questions (like \"do you think he is reliable?) the day after I left the experiment with the animals. &#x200B; The next day (today), my supervisor told me to go to his office. We sat down and gave a list of very general and broad stuff like \"don´t assume, ask first\", \"think before you act\", \"recognise your mistakes\", ... He also told me that I should try to focus on impressing the other supervisor not him. I thanked him for that list (even though it was not the list they wrote the day before and it was more like \"tips\"). I also told him that I don't know what I am going to be able to do in just one week and a half, he agreed to that. He also told me that he thinks that their decision to fire me was not the best way to handle it, but that if they don't fire me now they cannot fire me for the next 9 months. He told me that he thought I had a chance of doing it. &#x200B; This supervisor has money for hiring more students without the other supervisor. I asked him if he saw changing me to another project as an option (so basically me not working with the other supervisor). He told me that he does not see it as an option because \"that is too easy and you have to learn to work with different kind of people\", which is kind of true (i guess). I have been doing my work, reading papers and sending very nice emails to show that I care. I am going to go next week to the other university to show that I care (I cannot go more because of COVID). I have apologized to both of them for not being able to prove how much I like this position. But, honestly, there are not that many things one can achieve (at least in my field) in a week and a half. &#x200B; I am very worried. I came from another country, I have contracts here now for two years (apartment, phone, health insurance, ...), I really like the project that I am doing, the coworkers are really nice, .... &#x200B; I would like to know your opinion. Do you think I have options of keeping the position? Do you think they just gave me this week and a half to \"show that they tried to let me improve but I didn't\"? &#x200B; Thank you so much for reading my story. Please don't hesitate to comment!! I really can use all the help and tips I can get!! &#x200B; PS: I know I have not given a lot of specific details, but I would also like to stay as anonymous as possible just to avoid potential problems. But if you think that there is something important that could be missing please let me know! &#x200B; Thanks again", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It sounds like there is a major lack of communication between the PIs and students (yourself). Their expectations have not been made clear, and thus you've been unable to meet them. The fact that they won't tell you in what ways they want to see improvement from you sucks. You're still a STUDENT, and they are there to guide you. As much as people talk about grad school being hell, it shouldn't be because of your advisors. Grad school is so hard and so much work, and your advisors should be there to help you and answer questions. If you don't see yourself getting along with your current advisors and being happy doing your research, I recommend you leave. Things are only going to get harder. I'm sorry you're going through this, and I know how hard of a decision this is going to be for you. I went through something similar, and to have your advisor threaten to fire you without the ability to explain yourself feels so shitty. I wish you the best of luck!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Fired? Hi All. Sorry for the long text in advance, but I reaaaaally need help. &#x200B; I need help understanding what's happening because I am completely lost. Here is what has happened. &#x200B; I started my PhD in another country about a month and a half ago. My two supervisors got a grant and I was able to get the position after the interviews. An important thing to know is that they work in different universities and is a multidisciplinary project, so the science they do is completely different and I was told I would have to go from one place to the other regularly. &#x200B; My first month was completely in my first supervisor university and everything went super well. We really got along, I was getting super positive feedback, I really connected with my coworkers, ... This supervisor measures our performance with a KPI thing on an excel and he told me he was super happy and that he was really surprised with how well I was doing. &#x200B; After that meeting, I was told I had to go 5 days to the lab of my other supervisor. This is when things started to get weird. I arrived there and I was getting a weird vibe from my supervisor but it was the first time we met in real life so I didn't think too much about it. She starts to show me the place and tells me that she wants to show me some IT stuff. I told her that I didn't bring my work laptop from the other place but that I had brought my personal laptop (I know this is my bad, I just assume she was going to give me one, but again completely my bad). She told me something like \"don't worry, I will send you the manuals and you can let me know if you have an issue when you go back\". After that, we started doing some work that day and everything was ok. &#x200B; The next day, we had to prepare to do some experiments with animals to extract their organs while there were still alive. Just to be clear during the interviews I was only told \"you will have to work with organs and biological samples\". So during that experiment, I felt pretty bad, told her that I was going out for a while and then came back and told her that I was sorry that I felt very uncomfortable with that. She told me to go home and to contact my other supervisor because she thought that he should know. I did that and went to sleep. &#x200B; The next day, I was able to that experiments but I was starting to receive a lot of random negative comments from this woman like \"I feel you are absolutely not interested in this project\" out of nowhere. She also told me things like \"you are not taking notes\" that at the time she told me that I was not taking notes but at other moments I was taking notes, she also said things like \"you can use your time to read papers\" that is something that I was also doing but not exactly at the moment she told me that. &#x200B; Days went by and, honestly, our relationship kind of went to this place of not really talking that much. Now I know it was a super stupid move from me. I did everything that she told me to do but I recognise that I didn't do more than what she told me to. &#x200B; The last day I was there she told me to meet her at her office. There she started saying things to me like \"I don't think you are a good student\", \"I don't think you will be able to find collaborators\", \"This PhD is going to get harder and harder\", ... To those things, I didn't really answer a lot of things other than \"sorry, the next time I come here I will try to improve\". &#x200B; The next day I had a holiday but the \"nice supervisor\" called me to go to his office. So I went and he was there waiting for me with the other supervisor on zoom. I go in and he tells me \"For legal reasons we have to record this\" (I knew things were not going well at that point). &#x200B; They started to accuse me of multiple things. Some things were true, for example, the fact that I left that day at the experiment. Other things were half-trues, for example, that I didn't take my work laptop (which is true but she didn't tell me it was a problem). Some things were lies, for example, the \"nice supervisor\" told me that he received very negative feedback from my coworkers. I later checked with them and they promised me that they gave very positive feedback in fact. And some things were absolute bullsh\\*t, for instance, they were questioning why I was living in a town and not in the city. &#x200B; After that, they told me that I was fired. They told me that if I resigned they would write me a \"somewhat good\" recommendation letter for another place but that if they had to fire me they would not do that. After a couple of minutes of discussion, I told them to give me a couple of weeks to prove to them that I can work better. They talked about it and that I had a week and a half to do it. They told me that they were going to write a list of things they want me to do, but that they were not going to give that list, I had to figure it out. &#x200B; After that, I talked with my coworkers and they presented a letter to the \"nice\" supervisor telling them that they don't agree with that decision and that they never gave negative feedback and that this letter is there to prove that they want to give positive feedback about me. Something else that I discovered while talking with my colleagues is that this supervisor started to ask them HR questions (like \"do you think he is reliable?) the day after I left the experiment with the animals. &#x200B; The next day (today), my supervisor told me to go to his office. We sat down and gave a list of very general and broad stuff like \"don´t assume, ask first\", \"think before you act\", \"recognise your mistakes\", ... He also told me that I should try to focus on impressing the other supervisor not him. I thanked him for that list (even though it was not the list they wrote the day before and it was more like \"tips\"). I also told him that I don't know what I am going to be able to do in just one week and a half, he agreed to that. He also told me that he thinks that their decision to fire me was not the best way to handle it, but that if they don't fire me now they cannot fire me for the next 9 months. He told me that he thought I had a chance of doing it. &#x200B; This supervisor has money for hiring more students without the other supervisor. I asked him if he saw changing me to another project as an option (so basically me not working with the other supervisor). He told me that he does not see it as an option because \"that is too easy and you have to learn to work with different kind of people\", which is kind of true (i guess). I have been doing my work, reading papers and sending very nice emails to show that I care. I am going to go next week to the other university to show that I care (I cannot go more because of COVID). I have apologized to both of them for not being able to prove how much I like this position. But, honestly, there are not that many things one can achieve (at least in my field) in a week and a half. &#x200B; I am very worried. I came from another country, I have contracts here now for two years (apartment, phone, health insurance, ...), I really like the project that I am doing, the coworkers are really nice, .... &#x200B; I would like to know your opinion. Do you think I have options of keeping the position? Do you think they just gave me this week and a half to \"show that they tried to let me improve but I didn't\"? &#x200B; Thank you so much for reading my story. Please don't hesitate to comment!! I really can use all the help and tips I can get!! &#x200B; PS: I know I have not given a lot of specific details, but I would also like to stay as anonymous as possible just to avoid potential problems. But if you think that there is something important that could be missing please let me know! &#x200B; Thanks again", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Just saw in this thread somewhere that this is in France. I'm from France and in academia so here are some tips. I won't speak about who's right or wrong here, but only the exact next legal steps you could take. No need to waste time on a lawyer in France. They have the full right to fire you for any reason (which could also be that they're just generally not satisfied) as long as you're still in probation period. If you can still survive in the lab beyond the probation period, then you're set and stable for this year at least. Now let's speak of the case where you either resign or they fire you. You must have come through 'Visa Talent Chercheur'. If it is already validated, you can stay from 3 months to 1 year in france without issues even if you're fired. Beyond that, if you do not have another position, you gotta go back (or become irregular, and I don't advice that). Now in that time, you could first do student jobs (you're considered a student while in phd in france). Be sure to have on you certificates that you're a student before you get fired, so that you can still get those jobs even if fired. Those jobs will keep you fed at least. At the same time, look for a new phds. I would advice in this part to resign and get the recommendation from them, as its extremely important in France to have a french recommendation for a phd, and expect that if you don't have it, your new phd PIs would definitively ask your old PIs about why you didn't continue with them, so expect trouble there. That's why again, OP, you should definitively get a letter of recommendation before leaving. Another option is getting a job in industry. Kind of tough as the company recruiting you would need to get a work permit for you, but still an avenue of possibility. EDIT : added my country", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Fired? Hi All. Sorry for the long text in advance, but I reaaaaally need help. &#x200B; I need help understanding what's happening because I am completely lost. Here is what has happened. &#x200B; I started my PhD in another country about a month and a half ago. My two supervisors got a grant and I was able to get the position after the interviews. An important thing to know is that they work in different universities and is a multidisciplinary project, so the science they do is completely different and I was told I would have to go from one place to the other regularly. &#x200B; My first month was completely in my first supervisor university and everything went super well. We really got along, I was getting super positive feedback, I really connected with my coworkers, ... This supervisor measures our performance with a KPI thing on an excel and he told me he was super happy and that he was really surprised with how well I was doing. &#x200B; After that meeting, I was told I had to go 5 days to the lab of my other supervisor. This is when things started to get weird. I arrived there and I was getting a weird vibe from my supervisor but it was the first time we met in real life so I didn't think too much about it. She starts to show me the place and tells me that she wants to show me some IT stuff. I told her that I didn't bring my work laptop from the other place but that I had brought my personal laptop (I know this is my bad, I just assume she was going to give me one, but again completely my bad). She told me something like \"don't worry, I will send you the manuals and you can let me know if you have an issue when you go back\". After that, we started doing some work that day and everything was ok. &#x200B; The next day, we had to prepare to do some experiments with animals to extract their organs while there were still alive. Just to be clear during the interviews I was only told \"you will have to work with organs and biological samples\". So during that experiment, I felt pretty bad, told her that I was going out for a while and then came back and told her that I was sorry that I felt very uncomfortable with that. She told me to go home and to contact my other supervisor because she thought that he should know. I did that and went to sleep. &#x200B; The next day, I was able to that experiments but I was starting to receive a lot of random negative comments from this woman like \"I feel you are absolutely not interested in this project\" out of nowhere. She also told me things like \"you are not taking notes\" that at the time she told me that I was not taking notes but at other moments I was taking notes, she also said things like \"you can use your time to read papers\" that is something that I was also doing but not exactly at the moment she told me that. &#x200B; Days went by and, honestly, our relationship kind of went to this place of not really talking that much. Now I know it was a super stupid move from me. I did everything that she told me to do but I recognise that I didn't do more than what she told me to. &#x200B; The last day I was there she told me to meet her at her office. There she started saying things to me like \"I don't think you are a good student\", \"I don't think you will be able to find collaborators\", \"This PhD is going to get harder and harder\", ... To those things, I didn't really answer a lot of things other than \"sorry, the next time I come here I will try to improve\". &#x200B; The next day I had a holiday but the \"nice supervisor\" called me to go to his office. So I went and he was there waiting for me with the other supervisor on zoom. I go in and he tells me \"For legal reasons we have to record this\" (I knew things were not going well at that point). &#x200B; They started to accuse me of multiple things. Some things were true, for example, the fact that I left that day at the experiment. Other things were half-trues, for example, that I didn't take my work laptop (which is true but she didn't tell me it was a problem). Some things were lies, for example, the \"nice supervisor\" told me that he received very negative feedback from my coworkers. I later checked with them and they promised me that they gave very positive feedback in fact. And some things were absolute bullsh\\*t, for instance, they were questioning why I was living in a town and not in the city. &#x200B; After that, they told me that I was fired. They told me that if I resigned they would write me a \"somewhat good\" recommendation letter for another place but that if they had to fire me they would not do that. After a couple of minutes of discussion, I told them to give me a couple of weeks to prove to them that I can work better. They talked about it and that I had a week and a half to do it. They told me that they were going to write a list of things they want me to do, but that they were not going to give that list, I had to figure it out. &#x200B; After that, I talked with my coworkers and they presented a letter to the \"nice\" supervisor telling them that they don't agree with that decision and that they never gave negative feedback and that this letter is there to prove that they want to give positive feedback about me. Something else that I discovered while talking with my colleagues is that this supervisor started to ask them HR questions (like \"do you think he is reliable?) the day after I left the experiment with the animals. &#x200B; The next day (today), my supervisor told me to go to his office. We sat down and gave a list of very general and broad stuff like \"don´t assume, ask first\", \"think before you act\", \"recognise your mistakes\", ... He also told me that I should try to focus on impressing the other supervisor not him. I thanked him for that list (even though it was not the list they wrote the day before and it was more like \"tips\"). I also told him that I don't know what I am going to be able to do in just one week and a half, he agreed to that. He also told me that he thinks that their decision to fire me was not the best way to handle it, but that if they don't fire me now they cannot fire me for the next 9 months. He told me that he thought I had a chance of doing it. &#x200B; This supervisor has money for hiring more students without the other supervisor. I asked him if he saw changing me to another project as an option (so basically me not working with the other supervisor). He told me that he does not see it as an option because \"that is too easy and you have to learn to work with different kind of people\", which is kind of true (i guess). I have been doing my work, reading papers and sending very nice emails to show that I care. I am going to go next week to the other university to show that I care (I cannot go more because of COVID). I have apologized to both of them for not being able to prove how much I like this position. But, honestly, there are not that many things one can achieve (at least in my field) in a week and a half. &#x200B; I am very worried. I came from another country, I have contracts here now for two years (apartment, phone, health insurance, ...), I really like the project that I am doing, the coworkers are really nice, .... &#x200B; I would like to know your opinion. Do you think I have options of keeping the position? Do you think they just gave me this week and a half to \"show that they tried to let me improve but I didn't\"? &#x200B; Thank you so much for reading my story. Please don't hesitate to comment!! I really can use all the help and tips I can get!! &#x200B; PS: I know I have not given a lot of specific details, but I would also like to stay as anonymous as possible just to avoid potential problems. But if you think that there is something important that could be missing please let me know! &#x200B; Thanks again", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This situation hits home. I was stuck with two similar supervisors. If you decide to stay they may make your life difficult if you don't follow their orders fully. As others pointed out, try to find another position. I think you shouldn't resign as it would be accepting their lies. Best of luck.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Fired? Hi All. Sorry for the long text in advance, but I reaaaaally need help. &#x200B; I need help understanding what's happening because I am completely lost. Here is what has happened. &#x200B; I started my PhD in another country about a month and a half ago. My two supervisors got a grant and I was able to get the position after the interviews. An important thing to know is that they work in different universities and is a multidisciplinary project, so the science they do is completely different and I was told I would have to go from one place to the other regularly. &#x200B; My first month was completely in my first supervisor university and everything went super well. We really got along, I was getting super positive feedback, I really connected with my coworkers, ... This supervisor measures our performance with a KPI thing on an excel and he told me he was super happy and that he was really surprised with how well I was doing. &#x200B; After that meeting, I was told I had to go 5 days to the lab of my other supervisor. This is when things started to get weird. I arrived there and I was getting a weird vibe from my supervisor but it was the first time we met in real life so I didn't think too much about it. She starts to show me the place and tells me that she wants to show me some IT stuff. I told her that I didn't bring my work laptop from the other place but that I had brought my personal laptop (I know this is my bad, I just assume she was going to give me one, but again completely my bad). She told me something like \"don't worry, I will send you the manuals and you can let me know if you have an issue when you go back\". After that, we started doing some work that day and everything was ok. &#x200B; The next day, we had to prepare to do some experiments with animals to extract their organs while there were still alive. Just to be clear during the interviews I was only told \"you will have to work with organs and biological samples\". So during that experiment, I felt pretty bad, told her that I was going out for a while and then came back and told her that I was sorry that I felt very uncomfortable with that. She told me to go home and to contact my other supervisor because she thought that he should know. I did that and went to sleep. &#x200B; The next day, I was able to that experiments but I was starting to receive a lot of random negative comments from this woman like \"I feel you are absolutely not interested in this project\" out of nowhere. She also told me things like \"you are not taking notes\" that at the time she told me that I was not taking notes but at other moments I was taking notes, she also said things like \"you can use your time to read papers\" that is something that I was also doing but not exactly at the moment she told me that. &#x200B; Days went by and, honestly, our relationship kind of went to this place of not really talking that much. Now I know it was a super stupid move from me. I did everything that she told me to do but I recognise that I didn't do more than what she told me to. &#x200B; The last day I was there she told me to meet her at her office. There she started saying things to me like \"I don't think you are a good student\", \"I don't think you will be able to find collaborators\", \"This PhD is going to get harder and harder\", ... To those things, I didn't really answer a lot of things other than \"sorry, the next time I come here I will try to improve\". &#x200B; The next day I had a holiday but the \"nice supervisor\" called me to go to his office. So I went and he was there waiting for me with the other supervisor on zoom. I go in and he tells me \"For legal reasons we have to record this\" (I knew things were not going well at that point). &#x200B; They started to accuse me of multiple things. Some things were true, for example, the fact that I left that day at the experiment. Other things were half-trues, for example, that I didn't take my work laptop (which is true but she didn't tell me it was a problem). Some things were lies, for example, the \"nice supervisor\" told me that he received very negative feedback from my coworkers. I later checked with them and they promised me that they gave very positive feedback in fact. And some things were absolute bullsh\\*t, for instance, they were questioning why I was living in a town and not in the city. &#x200B; After that, they told me that I was fired. They told me that if I resigned they would write me a \"somewhat good\" recommendation letter for another place but that if they had to fire me they would not do that. After a couple of minutes of discussion, I told them to give me a couple of weeks to prove to them that I can work better. They talked about it and that I had a week and a half to do it. They told me that they were going to write a list of things they want me to do, but that they were not going to give that list, I had to figure it out. &#x200B; After that, I talked with my coworkers and they presented a letter to the \"nice\" supervisor telling them that they don't agree with that decision and that they never gave negative feedback and that this letter is there to prove that they want to give positive feedback about me. Something else that I discovered while talking with my colleagues is that this supervisor started to ask them HR questions (like \"do you think he is reliable?) the day after I left the experiment with the animals. &#x200B; The next day (today), my supervisor told me to go to his office. We sat down and gave a list of very general and broad stuff like \"don´t assume, ask first\", \"think before you act\", \"recognise your mistakes\", ... He also told me that I should try to focus on impressing the other supervisor not him. I thanked him for that list (even though it was not the list they wrote the day before and it was more like \"tips\"). I also told him that I don't know what I am going to be able to do in just one week and a half, he agreed to that. He also told me that he thinks that their decision to fire me was not the best way to handle it, but that if they don't fire me now they cannot fire me for the next 9 months. He told me that he thought I had a chance of doing it. &#x200B; This supervisor has money for hiring more students without the other supervisor. I asked him if he saw changing me to another project as an option (so basically me not working with the other supervisor). He told me that he does not see it as an option because \"that is too easy and you have to learn to work with different kind of people\", which is kind of true (i guess). I have been doing my work, reading papers and sending very nice emails to show that I care. I am going to go next week to the other university to show that I care (I cannot go more because of COVID). I have apologized to both of them for not being able to prove how much I like this position. But, honestly, there are not that many things one can achieve (at least in my field) in a week and a half. &#x200B; I am very worried. I came from another country, I have contracts here now for two years (apartment, phone, health insurance, ...), I really like the project that I am doing, the coworkers are really nice, .... &#x200B; I would like to know your opinion. Do you think I have options of keeping the position? Do you think they just gave me this week and a half to \"show that they tried to let me improve but I didn't\"? &#x200B; Thank you so much for reading my story. Please don't hesitate to comment!! I really can use all the help and tips I can get!! &#x200B; PS: I know I have not given a lot of specific details, but I would also like to stay as anonymous as possible just to avoid potential problems. But if you think that there is something important that could be missing please let me know! &#x200B; Thanks again", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Just saw in this thread somewhere that this is in France. I'm from France and in academia so here are some tips. I won't speak about who's right or wrong here, but only the exact next legal steps you could take. No need to waste time on a lawyer in France. They have the full right to fire you for any reason (which could also be that they're just generally not satisfied) as long as you're still in probation period. If you can still survive in the lab beyond the probation period, then you're set and stable for this year at least. Now let's speak of the case where you either resign or they fire you. You must have come through 'Visa Talent Chercheur'. If it is already validated, you can stay from 3 months to 1 year in france without issues even if you're fired. Beyond that, if you do not have another position, you gotta go back (or become irregular, and I don't advice that). Now in that time, you could first do student jobs (you're considered a student while in phd in france). Be sure to have on you certificates that you're a student before you get fired, so that you can still get those jobs even if fired. Those jobs will keep you fed at least. At the same time, look for a new phds. I would advice in this part to resign and get the recommendation from them, as its extremely important in France to have a french recommendation for a phd, and expect that if you don't have it, your new phd PIs would definitively ask your old PIs about why you didn't continue with them, so expect trouble there. That's why again, OP, you should definitively get a letter of recommendation before leaving. Another option is getting a job in industry. Kind of tough as the company recruiting you would need to get a work permit for you, but still an avenue of possibility. EDIT : added my country", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Fired? Hi All. Sorry for the long text in advance, but I reaaaaally need help. &#x200B; I need help understanding what's happening because I am completely lost. Here is what has happened. &#x200B; I started my PhD in another country about a month and a half ago. My two supervisors got a grant and I was able to get the position after the interviews. An important thing to know is that they work in different universities and is a multidisciplinary project, so the science they do is completely different and I was told I would have to go from one place to the other regularly. &#x200B; My first month was completely in my first supervisor university and everything went super well. We really got along, I was getting super positive feedback, I really connected with my coworkers, ... This supervisor measures our performance with a KPI thing on an excel and he told me he was super happy and that he was really surprised with how well I was doing. &#x200B; After that meeting, I was told I had to go 5 days to the lab of my other supervisor. This is when things started to get weird. I arrived there and I was getting a weird vibe from my supervisor but it was the first time we met in real life so I didn't think too much about it. She starts to show me the place and tells me that she wants to show me some IT stuff. I told her that I didn't bring my work laptop from the other place but that I had brought my personal laptop (I know this is my bad, I just assume she was going to give me one, but again completely my bad). She told me something like \"don't worry, I will send you the manuals and you can let me know if you have an issue when you go back\". After that, we started doing some work that day and everything was ok. &#x200B; The next day, we had to prepare to do some experiments with animals to extract their organs while there were still alive. Just to be clear during the interviews I was only told \"you will have to work with organs and biological samples\". So during that experiment, I felt pretty bad, told her that I was going out for a while and then came back and told her that I was sorry that I felt very uncomfortable with that. She told me to go home and to contact my other supervisor because she thought that he should know. I did that and went to sleep. &#x200B; The next day, I was able to that experiments but I was starting to receive a lot of random negative comments from this woman like \"I feel you are absolutely not interested in this project\" out of nowhere. She also told me things like \"you are not taking notes\" that at the time she told me that I was not taking notes but at other moments I was taking notes, she also said things like \"you can use your time to read papers\" that is something that I was also doing but not exactly at the moment she told me that. &#x200B; Days went by and, honestly, our relationship kind of went to this place of not really talking that much. Now I know it was a super stupid move from me. I did everything that she told me to do but I recognise that I didn't do more than what she told me to. &#x200B; The last day I was there she told me to meet her at her office. There she started saying things to me like \"I don't think you are a good student\", \"I don't think you will be able to find collaborators\", \"This PhD is going to get harder and harder\", ... To those things, I didn't really answer a lot of things other than \"sorry, the next time I come here I will try to improve\". &#x200B; The next day I had a holiday but the \"nice supervisor\" called me to go to his office. So I went and he was there waiting for me with the other supervisor on zoom. I go in and he tells me \"For legal reasons we have to record this\" (I knew things were not going well at that point). &#x200B; They started to accuse me of multiple things. Some things were true, for example, the fact that I left that day at the experiment. Other things were half-trues, for example, that I didn't take my work laptop (which is true but she didn't tell me it was a problem). Some things were lies, for example, the \"nice supervisor\" told me that he received very negative feedback from my coworkers. I later checked with them and they promised me that they gave very positive feedback in fact. And some things were absolute bullsh\\*t, for instance, they were questioning why I was living in a town and not in the city. &#x200B; After that, they told me that I was fired. They told me that if I resigned they would write me a \"somewhat good\" recommendation letter for another place but that if they had to fire me they would not do that. After a couple of minutes of discussion, I told them to give me a couple of weeks to prove to them that I can work better. They talked about it and that I had a week and a half to do it. They told me that they were going to write a list of things they want me to do, but that they were not going to give that list, I had to figure it out. &#x200B; After that, I talked with my coworkers and they presented a letter to the \"nice\" supervisor telling them that they don't agree with that decision and that they never gave negative feedback and that this letter is there to prove that they want to give positive feedback about me. Something else that I discovered while talking with my colleagues is that this supervisor started to ask them HR questions (like \"do you think he is reliable?) the day after I left the experiment with the animals. &#x200B; The next day (today), my supervisor told me to go to his office. We sat down and gave a list of very general and broad stuff like \"don´t assume, ask first\", \"think before you act\", \"recognise your mistakes\", ... He also told me that I should try to focus on impressing the other supervisor not him. I thanked him for that list (even though it was not the list they wrote the day before and it was more like \"tips\"). I also told him that I don't know what I am going to be able to do in just one week and a half, he agreed to that. He also told me that he thinks that their decision to fire me was not the best way to handle it, but that if they don't fire me now they cannot fire me for the next 9 months. He told me that he thought I had a chance of doing it. &#x200B; This supervisor has money for hiring more students without the other supervisor. I asked him if he saw changing me to another project as an option (so basically me not working with the other supervisor). He told me that he does not see it as an option because \"that is too easy and you have to learn to work with different kind of people\", which is kind of true (i guess). I have been doing my work, reading papers and sending very nice emails to show that I care. I am going to go next week to the other university to show that I care (I cannot go more because of COVID). I have apologized to both of them for not being able to prove how much I like this position. But, honestly, there are not that many things one can achieve (at least in my field) in a week and a half. &#x200B; I am very worried. I came from another country, I have contracts here now for two years (apartment, phone, health insurance, ...), I really like the project that I am doing, the coworkers are really nice, .... &#x200B; I would like to know your opinion. Do you think I have options of keeping the position? Do you think they just gave me this week and a half to \"show that they tried to let me improve but I didn't\"? &#x200B; Thank you so much for reading my story. Please don't hesitate to comment!! I really can use all the help and tips I can get!! &#x200B; PS: I know I have not given a lot of specific details, but I would also like to stay as anonymous as possible just to avoid potential problems. But if you think that there is something important that could be missing please let me know! &#x200B; Thanks again", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I would not resign. If they are going to fire you make them fire you. Don't give them the easy way out. That way they have to be accountable for the decision.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Fired? Hi All. Sorry for the long text in advance, but I reaaaaally need help. &#x200B; I need help understanding what's happening because I am completely lost. Here is what has happened. &#x200B; I started my PhD in another country about a month and a half ago. My two supervisors got a grant and I was able to get the position after the interviews. An important thing to know is that they work in different universities and is a multidisciplinary project, so the science they do is completely different and I was told I would have to go from one place to the other regularly. &#x200B; My first month was completely in my first supervisor university and everything went super well. We really got along, I was getting super positive feedback, I really connected with my coworkers, ... This supervisor measures our performance with a KPI thing on an excel and he told me he was super happy and that he was really surprised with how well I was doing. &#x200B; After that meeting, I was told I had to go 5 days to the lab of my other supervisor. This is when things started to get weird. I arrived there and I was getting a weird vibe from my supervisor but it was the first time we met in real life so I didn't think too much about it. She starts to show me the place and tells me that she wants to show me some IT stuff. I told her that I didn't bring my work laptop from the other place but that I had brought my personal laptop (I know this is my bad, I just assume she was going to give me one, but again completely my bad). She told me something like \"don't worry, I will send you the manuals and you can let me know if you have an issue when you go back\". After that, we started doing some work that day and everything was ok. &#x200B; The next day, we had to prepare to do some experiments with animals to extract their organs while there were still alive. Just to be clear during the interviews I was only told \"you will have to work with organs and biological samples\". So during that experiment, I felt pretty bad, told her that I was going out for a while and then came back and told her that I was sorry that I felt very uncomfortable with that. She told me to go home and to contact my other supervisor because she thought that he should know. I did that and went to sleep. &#x200B; The next day, I was able to that experiments but I was starting to receive a lot of random negative comments from this woman like \"I feel you are absolutely not interested in this project\" out of nowhere. She also told me things like \"you are not taking notes\" that at the time she told me that I was not taking notes but at other moments I was taking notes, she also said things like \"you can use your time to read papers\" that is something that I was also doing but not exactly at the moment she told me that. &#x200B; Days went by and, honestly, our relationship kind of went to this place of not really talking that much. Now I know it was a super stupid move from me. I did everything that she told me to do but I recognise that I didn't do more than what she told me to. &#x200B; The last day I was there she told me to meet her at her office. There she started saying things to me like \"I don't think you are a good student\", \"I don't think you will be able to find collaborators\", \"This PhD is going to get harder and harder\", ... To those things, I didn't really answer a lot of things other than \"sorry, the next time I come here I will try to improve\". &#x200B; The next day I had a holiday but the \"nice supervisor\" called me to go to his office. So I went and he was there waiting for me with the other supervisor on zoom. I go in and he tells me \"For legal reasons we have to record this\" (I knew things were not going well at that point). &#x200B; They started to accuse me of multiple things. Some things were true, for example, the fact that I left that day at the experiment. Other things were half-trues, for example, that I didn't take my work laptop (which is true but she didn't tell me it was a problem). Some things were lies, for example, the \"nice supervisor\" told me that he received very negative feedback from my coworkers. I later checked with them and they promised me that they gave very positive feedback in fact. And some things were absolute bullsh\\*t, for instance, they were questioning why I was living in a town and not in the city. &#x200B; After that, they told me that I was fired. They told me that if I resigned they would write me a \"somewhat good\" recommendation letter for another place but that if they had to fire me they would not do that. After a couple of minutes of discussion, I told them to give me a couple of weeks to prove to them that I can work better. They talked about it and that I had a week and a half to do it. They told me that they were going to write a list of things they want me to do, but that they were not going to give that list, I had to figure it out. &#x200B; After that, I talked with my coworkers and they presented a letter to the \"nice\" supervisor telling them that they don't agree with that decision and that they never gave negative feedback and that this letter is there to prove that they want to give positive feedback about me. Something else that I discovered while talking with my colleagues is that this supervisor started to ask them HR questions (like \"do you think he is reliable?) the day after I left the experiment with the animals. &#x200B; The next day (today), my supervisor told me to go to his office. We sat down and gave a list of very general and broad stuff like \"don´t assume, ask first\", \"think before you act\", \"recognise your mistakes\", ... He also told me that I should try to focus on impressing the other supervisor not him. I thanked him for that list (even though it was not the list they wrote the day before and it was more like \"tips\"). I also told him that I don't know what I am going to be able to do in just one week and a half, he agreed to that. He also told me that he thinks that their decision to fire me was not the best way to handle it, but that if they don't fire me now they cannot fire me for the next 9 months. He told me that he thought I had a chance of doing it. &#x200B; This supervisor has money for hiring more students without the other supervisor. I asked him if he saw changing me to another project as an option (so basically me not working with the other supervisor). He told me that he does not see it as an option because \"that is too easy and you have to learn to work with different kind of people\", which is kind of true (i guess). I have been doing my work, reading papers and sending very nice emails to show that I care. I am going to go next week to the other university to show that I care (I cannot go more because of COVID). I have apologized to both of them for not being able to prove how much I like this position. But, honestly, there are not that many things one can achieve (at least in my field) in a week and a half. &#x200B; I am very worried. I came from another country, I have contracts here now for two years (apartment, phone, health insurance, ...), I really like the project that I am doing, the coworkers are really nice, .... &#x200B; I would like to know your opinion. Do you think I have options of keeping the position? Do you think they just gave me this week and a half to \"show that they tried to let me improve but I didn't\"? &#x200B; Thank you so much for reading my story. Please don't hesitate to comment!! I really can use all the help and tips I can get!! &#x200B; PS: I know I have not given a lot of specific details, but I would also like to stay as anonymous as possible just to avoid potential problems. But if you think that there is something important that could be missing please let me know! &#x200B; Thanks again", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Just saw in this thread somewhere that this is in France. I'm from France and in academia so here are some tips. I won't speak about who's right or wrong here, but only the exact next legal steps you could take. No need to waste time on a lawyer in France. They have the full right to fire you for any reason (which could also be that they're just generally not satisfied) as long as you're still in probation period. If you can still survive in the lab beyond the probation period, then you're set and stable for this year at least. Now let's speak of the case where you either resign or they fire you. You must have come through 'Visa Talent Chercheur'. If it is already validated, you can stay from 3 months to 1 year in france without issues even if you're fired. Beyond that, if you do not have another position, you gotta go back (or become irregular, and I don't advice that). Now in that time, you could first do student jobs (you're considered a student while in phd in france). Be sure to have on you certificates that you're a student before you get fired, so that you can still get those jobs even if fired. Those jobs will keep you fed at least. At the same time, look for a new phds. I would advice in this part to resign and get the recommendation from them, as its extremely important in France to have a french recommendation for a phd, and expect that if you don't have it, your new phd PIs would definitively ask your old PIs about why you didn't continue with them, so expect trouble there. That's why again, OP, you should definitively get a letter of recommendation before leaving. Another option is getting a job in industry. Kind of tough as the company recruiting you would need to get a work permit for you, but still an avenue of possibility. EDIT : added my country", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Fired? Hi All. Sorry for the long text in advance, but I reaaaaally need help. &#x200B; I need help understanding what's happening because I am completely lost. Here is what has happened. &#x200B; I started my PhD in another country about a month and a half ago. My two supervisors got a grant and I was able to get the position after the interviews. An important thing to know is that they work in different universities and is a multidisciplinary project, so the science they do is completely different and I was told I would have to go from one place to the other regularly. &#x200B; My first month was completely in my first supervisor university and everything went super well. We really got along, I was getting super positive feedback, I really connected with my coworkers, ... This supervisor measures our performance with a KPI thing on an excel and he told me he was super happy and that he was really surprised with how well I was doing. &#x200B; After that meeting, I was told I had to go 5 days to the lab of my other supervisor. This is when things started to get weird. I arrived there and I was getting a weird vibe from my supervisor but it was the first time we met in real life so I didn't think too much about it. She starts to show me the place and tells me that she wants to show me some IT stuff. I told her that I didn't bring my work laptop from the other place but that I had brought my personal laptop (I know this is my bad, I just assume she was going to give me one, but again completely my bad). She told me something like \"don't worry, I will send you the manuals and you can let me know if you have an issue when you go back\". After that, we started doing some work that day and everything was ok. &#x200B; The next day, we had to prepare to do some experiments with animals to extract their organs while there were still alive. Just to be clear during the interviews I was only told \"you will have to work with organs and biological samples\". So during that experiment, I felt pretty bad, told her that I was going out for a while and then came back and told her that I was sorry that I felt very uncomfortable with that. She told me to go home and to contact my other supervisor because she thought that he should know. I did that and went to sleep. &#x200B; The next day, I was able to that experiments but I was starting to receive a lot of random negative comments from this woman like \"I feel you are absolutely not interested in this project\" out of nowhere. She also told me things like \"you are not taking notes\" that at the time she told me that I was not taking notes but at other moments I was taking notes, she also said things like \"you can use your time to read papers\" that is something that I was also doing but not exactly at the moment she told me that. &#x200B; Days went by and, honestly, our relationship kind of went to this place of not really talking that much. Now I know it was a super stupid move from me. I did everything that she told me to do but I recognise that I didn't do more than what she told me to. &#x200B; The last day I was there she told me to meet her at her office. There she started saying things to me like \"I don't think you are a good student\", \"I don't think you will be able to find collaborators\", \"This PhD is going to get harder and harder\", ... To those things, I didn't really answer a lot of things other than \"sorry, the next time I come here I will try to improve\". &#x200B; The next day I had a holiday but the \"nice supervisor\" called me to go to his office. So I went and he was there waiting for me with the other supervisor on zoom. I go in and he tells me \"For legal reasons we have to record this\" (I knew things were not going well at that point). &#x200B; They started to accuse me of multiple things. Some things were true, for example, the fact that I left that day at the experiment. Other things were half-trues, for example, that I didn't take my work laptop (which is true but she didn't tell me it was a problem). Some things were lies, for example, the \"nice supervisor\" told me that he received very negative feedback from my coworkers. I later checked with them and they promised me that they gave very positive feedback in fact. And some things were absolute bullsh\\*t, for instance, they were questioning why I was living in a town and not in the city. &#x200B; After that, they told me that I was fired. They told me that if I resigned they would write me a \"somewhat good\" recommendation letter for another place but that if they had to fire me they would not do that. After a couple of minutes of discussion, I told them to give me a couple of weeks to prove to them that I can work better. They talked about it and that I had a week and a half to do it. They told me that they were going to write a list of things they want me to do, but that they were not going to give that list, I had to figure it out. &#x200B; After that, I talked with my coworkers and they presented a letter to the \"nice\" supervisor telling them that they don't agree with that decision and that they never gave negative feedback and that this letter is there to prove that they want to give positive feedback about me. Something else that I discovered while talking with my colleagues is that this supervisor started to ask them HR questions (like \"do you think he is reliable?) the day after I left the experiment with the animals. &#x200B; The next day (today), my supervisor told me to go to his office. We sat down and gave a list of very general and broad stuff like \"don´t assume, ask first\", \"think before you act\", \"recognise your mistakes\", ... He also told me that I should try to focus on impressing the other supervisor not him. I thanked him for that list (even though it was not the list they wrote the day before and it was more like \"tips\"). I also told him that I don't know what I am going to be able to do in just one week and a half, he agreed to that. He also told me that he thinks that their decision to fire me was not the best way to handle it, but that if they don't fire me now they cannot fire me for the next 9 months. He told me that he thought I had a chance of doing it. &#x200B; This supervisor has money for hiring more students without the other supervisor. I asked him if he saw changing me to another project as an option (so basically me not working with the other supervisor). He told me that he does not see it as an option because \"that is too easy and you have to learn to work with different kind of people\", which is kind of true (i guess). I have been doing my work, reading papers and sending very nice emails to show that I care. I am going to go next week to the other university to show that I care (I cannot go more because of COVID). I have apologized to both of them for not being able to prove how much I like this position. But, honestly, there are not that many things one can achieve (at least in my field) in a week and a half. &#x200B; I am very worried. I came from another country, I have contracts here now for two years (apartment, phone, health insurance, ...), I really like the project that I am doing, the coworkers are really nice, .... &#x200B; I would like to know your opinion. Do you think I have options of keeping the position? Do you think they just gave me this week and a half to \"show that they tried to let me improve but I didn't\"? &#x200B; Thank you so much for reading my story. Please don't hesitate to comment!! I really can use all the help and tips I can get!! &#x200B; PS: I know I have not given a lot of specific details, but I would also like to stay as anonymous as possible just to avoid potential problems. But if you think that there is something important that could be missing please let me know! &#x200B; Thanks again", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Go to your graduate school. They are there to represent graduate students. Like HR but for students and on your side.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Fired? Hi All. Sorry for the long text in advance, but I reaaaaally need help. &#x200B; I need help understanding what's happening because I am completely lost. Here is what has happened. &#x200B; I started my PhD in another country about a month and a half ago. My two supervisors got a grant and I was able to get the position after the interviews. An important thing to know is that they work in different universities and is a multidisciplinary project, so the science they do is completely different and I was told I would have to go from one place to the other regularly. &#x200B; My first month was completely in my first supervisor university and everything went super well. We really got along, I was getting super positive feedback, I really connected with my coworkers, ... This supervisor measures our performance with a KPI thing on an excel and he told me he was super happy and that he was really surprised with how well I was doing. &#x200B; After that meeting, I was told I had to go 5 days to the lab of my other supervisor. This is when things started to get weird. I arrived there and I was getting a weird vibe from my supervisor but it was the first time we met in real life so I didn't think too much about it. She starts to show me the place and tells me that she wants to show me some IT stuff. I told her that I didn't bring my work laptop from the other place but that I had brought my personal laptop (I know this is my bad, I just assume she was going to give me one, but again completely my bad). She told me something like \"don't worry, I will send you the manuals and you can let me know if you have an issue when you go back\". After that, we started doing some work that day and everything was ok. &#x200B; The next day, we had to prepare to do some experiments with animals to extract their organs while there were still alive. Just to be clear during the interviews I was only told \"you will have to work with organs and biological samples\". So during that experiment, I felt pretty bad, told her that I was going out for a while and then came back and told her that I was sorry that I felt very uncomfortable with that. She told me to go home and to contact my other supervisor because she thought that he should know. I did that and went to sleep. &#x200B; The next day, I was able to that experiments but I was starting to receive a lot of random negative comments from this woman like \"I feel you are absolutely not interested in this project\" out of nowhere. She also told me things like \"you are not taking notes\" that at the time she told me that I was not taking notes but at other moments I was taking notes, she also said things like \"you can use your time to read papers\" that is something that I was also doing but not exactly at the moment she told me that. &#x200B; Days went by and, honestly, our relationship kind of went to this place of not really talking that much. Now I know it was a super stupid move from me. I did everything that she told me to do but I recognise that I didn't do more than what she told me to. &#x200B; The last day I was there she told me to meet her at her office. There she started saying things to me like \"I don't think you are a good student\", \"I don't think you will be able to find collaborators\", \"This PhD is going to get harder and harder\", ... To those things, I didn't really answer a lot of things other than \"sorry, the next time I come here I will try to improve\". &#x200B; The next day I had a holiday but the \"nice supervisor\" called me to go to his office. So I went and he was there waiting for me with the other supervisor on zoom. I go in and he tells me \"For legal reasons we have to record this\" (I knew things were not going well at that point). &#x200B; They started to accuse me of multiple things. Some things were true, for example, the fact that I left that day at the experiment. Other things were half-trues, for example, that I didn't take my work laptop (which is true but she didn't tell me it was a problem). Some things were lies, for example, the \"nice supervisor\" told me that he received very negative feedback from my coworkers. I later checked with them and they promised me that they gave very positive feedback in fact. And some things were absolute bullsh\\*t, for instance, they were questioning why I was living in a town and not in the city. &#x200B; After that, they told me that I was fired. They told me that if I resigned they would write me a \"somewhat good\" recommendation letter for another place but that if they had to fire me they would not do that. After a couple of minutes of discussion, I told them to give me a couple of weeks to prove to them that I can work better. They talked about it and that I had a week and a half to do it. They told me that they were going to write a list of things they want me to do, but that they were not going to give that list, I had to figure it out. &#x200B; After that, I talked with my coworkers and they presented a letter to the \"nice\" supervisor telling them that they don't agree with that decision and that they never gave negative feedback and that this letter is there to prove that they want to give positive feedback about me. Something else that I discovered while talking with my colleagues is that this supervisor started to ask them HR questions (like \"do you think he is reliable?) the day after I left the experiment with the animals. &#x200B; The next day (today), my supervisor told me to go to his office. We sat down and gave a list of very general and broad stuff like \"don´t assume, ask first\", \"think before you act\", \"recognise your mistakes\", ... He also told me that I should try to focus on impressing the other supervisor not him. I thanked him for that list (even though it was not the list they wrote the day before and it was more like \"tips\"). I also told him that I don't know what I am going to be able to do in just one week and a half, he agreed to that. He also told me that he thinks that their decision to fire me was not the best way to handle it, but that if they don't fire me now they cannot fire me for the next 9 months. He told me that he thought I had a chance of doing it. &#x200B; This supervisor has money for hiring more students without the other supervisor. I asked him if he saw changing me to another project as an option (so basically me not working with the other supervisor). He told me that he does not see it as an option because \"that is too easy and you have to learn to work with different kind of people\", which is kind of true (i guess). I have been doing my work, reading papers and sending very nice emails to show that I care. I am going to go next week to the other university to show that I care (I cannot go more because of COVID). I have apologized to both of them for not being able to prove how much I like this position. But, honestly, there are not that many things one can achieve (at least in my field) in a week and a half. &#x200B; I am very worried. I came from another country, I have contracts here now for two years (apartment, phone, health insurance, ...), I really like the project that I am doing, the coworkers are really nice, .... &#x200B; I would like to know your opinion. Do you think I have options of keeping the position? Do you think they just gave me this week and a half to \"show that they tried to let me improve but I didn't\"? &#x200B; Thank you so much for reading my story. Please don't hesitate to comment!! I really can use all the help and tips I can get!! &#x200B; PS: I know I have not given a lot of specific details, but I would also like to stay as anonymous as possible just to avoid potential problems. But if you think that there is something important that could be missing please let me know! &#x200B; Thanks again", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Just saw in this thread somewhere that this is in France. I'm from France and in academia so here are some tips. I won't speak about who's right or wrong here, but only the exact next legal steps you could take. No need to waste time on a lawyer in France. They have the full right to fire you for any reason (which could also be that they're just generally not satisfied) as long as you're still in probation period. If you can still survive in the lab beyond the probation period, then you're set and stable for this year at least. Now let's speak of the case where you either resign or they fire you. You must have come through 'Visa Talent Chercheur'. If it is already validated, you can stay from 3 months to 1 year in france without issues even if you're fired. Beyond that, if you do not have another position, you gotta go back (or become irregular, and I don't advice that). Now in that time, you could first do student jobs (you're considered a student while in phd in france). Be sure to have on you certificates that you're a student before you get fired, so that you can still get those jobs even if fired. Those jobs will keep you fed at least. At the same time, look for a new phds. I would advice in this part to resign and get the recommendation from them, as its extremely important in France to have a french recommendation for a phd, and expect that if you don't have it, your new phd PIs would definitively ask your old PIs about why you didn't continue with them, so expect trouble there. That's why again, OP, you should definitively get a letter of recommendation before leaving. Another option is getting a job in industry. Kind of tough as the company recruiting you would need to get a work permit for you, but still an avenue of possibility. EDIT : added my country", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Fired? Hi All. Sorry for the long text in advance, but I reaaaaally need help. &#x200B; I need help understanding what's happening because I am completely lost. Here is what has happened. &#x200B; I started my PhD in another country about a month and a half ago. My two supervisors got a grant and I was able to get the position after the interviews. An important thing to know is that they work in different universities and is a multidisciplinary project, so the science they do is completely different and I was told I would have to go from one place to the other regularly. &#x200B; My first month was completely in my first supervisor university and everything went super well. We really got along, I was getting super positive feedback, I really connected with my coworkers, ... This supervisor measures our performance with a KPI thing on an excel and he told me he was super happy and that he was really surprised with how well I was doing. &#x200B; After that meeting, I was told I had to go 5 days to the lab of my other supervisor. This is when things started to get weird. I arrived there and I was getting a weird vibe from my supervisor but it was the first time we met in real life so I didn't think too much about it. She starts to show me the place and tells me that she wants to show me some IT stuff. I told her that I didn't bring my work laptop from the other place but that I had brought my personal laptop (I know this is my bad, I just assume she was going to give me one, but again completely my bad). She told me something like \"don't worry, I will send you the manuals and you can let me know if you have an issue when you go back\". After that, we started doing some work that day and everything was ok. &#x200B; The next day, we had to prepare to do some experiments with animals to extract their organs while there were still alive. Just to be clear during the interviews I was only told \"you will have to work with organs and biological samples\". So during that experiment, I felt pretty bad, told her that I was going out for a while and then came back and told her that I was sorry that I felt very uncomfortable with that. She told me to go home and to contact my other supervisor because she thought that he should know. I did that and went to sleep. &#x200B; The next day, I was able to that experiments but I was starting to receive a lot of random negative comments from this woman like \"I feel you are absolutely not interested in this project\" out of nowhere. She also told me things like \"you are not taking notes\" that at the time she told me that I was not taking notes but at other moments I was taking notes, she also said things like \"you can use your time to read papers\" that is something that I was also doing but not exactly at the moment she told me that. &#x200B; Days went by and, honestly, our relationship kind of went to this place of not really talking that much. Now I know it was a super stupid move from me. I did everything that she told me to do but I recognise that I didn't do more than what she told me to. &#x200B; The last day I was there she told me to meet her at her office. There she started saying things to me like \"I don't think you are a good student\", \"I don't think you will be able to find collaborators\", \"This PhD is going to get harder and harder\", ... To those things, I didn't really answer a lot of things other than \"sorry, the next time I come here I will try to improve\". &#x200B; The next day I had a holiday but the \"nice supervisor\" called me to go to his office. So I went and he was there waiting for me with the other supervisor on zoom. I go in and he tells me \"For legal reasons we have to record this\" (I knew things were not going well at that point). &#x200B; They started to accuse me of multiple things. Some things were true, for example, the fact that I left that day at the experiment. Other things were half-trues, for example, that I didn't take my work laptop (which is true but she didn't tell me it was a problem). Some things were lies, for example, the \"nice supervisor\" told me that he received very negative feedback from my coworkers. I later checked with them and they promised me that they gave very positive feedback in fact. And some things were absolute bullsh\\*t, for instance, they were questioning why I was living in a town and not in the city. &#x200B; After that, they told me that I was fired. They told me that if I resigned they would write me a \"somewhat good\" recommendation letter for another place but that if they had to fire me they would not do that. After a couple of minutes of discussion, I told them to give me a couple of weeks to prove to them that I can work better. They talked about it and that I had a week and a half to do it. They told me that they were going to write a list of things they want me to do, but that they were not going to give that list, I had to figure it out. &#x200B; After that, I talked with my coworkers and they presented a letter to the \"nice\" supervisor telling them that they don't agree with that decision and that they never gave negative feedback and that this letter is there to prove that they want to give positive feedback about me. Something else that I discovered while talking with my colleagues is that this supervisor started to ask them HR questions (like \"do you think he is reliable?) the day after I left the experiment with the animals. &#x200B; The next day (today), my supervisor told me to go to his office. We sat down and gave a list of very general and broad stuff like \"don´t assume, ask first\", \"think before you act\", \"recognise your mistakes\", ... He also told me that I should try to focus on impressing the other supervisor not him. I thanked him for that list (even though it was not the list they wrote the day before and it was more like \"tips\"). I also told him that I don't know what I am going to be able to do in just one week and a half, he agreed to that. He also told me that he thinks that their decision to fire me was not the best way to handle it, but that if they don't fire me now they cannot fire me for the next 9 months. He told me that he thought I had a chance of doing it. &#x200B; This supervisor has money for hiring more students without the other supervisor. I asked him if he saw changing me to another project as an option (so basically me not working with the other supervisor). He told me that he does not see it as an option because \"that is too easy and you have to learn to work with different kind of people\", which is kind of true (i guess). I have been doing my work, reading papers and sending very nice emails to show that I care. I am going to go next week to the other university to show that I care (I cannot go more because of COVID). I have apologized to both of them for not being able to prove how much I like this position. But, honestly, there are not that many things one can achieve (at least in my field) in a week and a half. &#x200B; I am very worried. I came from another country, I have contracts here now for two years (apartment, phone, health insurance, ...), I really like the project that I am doing, the coworkers are really nice, .... &#x200B; I would like to know your opinion. Do you think I have options of keeping the position? Do you think they just gave me this week and a half to \"show that they tried to let me improve but I didn't\"? &#x200B; Thank you so much for reading my story. Please don't hesitate to comment!! I really can use all the help and tips I can get!! &#x200B; PS: I know I have not given a lot of specific details, but I would also like to stay as anonymous as possible just to avoid potential problems. But if you think that there is something important that could be missing please let me know! &#x200B; Thanks again", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It sounds like there is a major lack of communication between the PIs and students (yourself). Their expectations have not been made clear, and thus you've been unable to meet them. The fact that they won't tell you in what ways they want to see improvement from you sucks. You're still a STUDENT, and they are there to guide you. As much as people talk about grad school being hell, it shouldn't be because of your advisors. Grad school is so hard and so much work, and your advisors should be there to help you and answer questions. If you don't see yourself getting along with your current advisors and being happy doing your research, I recommend you leave. Things are only going to get harder. I'm sorry you're going through this, and I know how hard of a decision this is going to be for you. I went through something similar, and to have your advisor threaten to fire you without the ability to explain yourself feels so shitty. I wish you the best of luck!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Fired? Hi All. Sorry for the long text in advance, but I reaaaaally need help. &#x200B; I need help understanding what's happening because I am completely lost. Here is what has happened. &#x200B; I started my PhD in another country about a month and a half ago. My two supervisors got a grant and I was able to get the position after the interviews. An important thing to know is that they work in different universities and is a multidisciplinary project, so the science they do is completely different and I was told I would have to go from one place to the other regularly. &#x200B; My first month was completely in my first supervisor university and everything went super well. We really got along, I was getting super positive feedback, I really connected with my coworkers, ... This supervisor measures our performance with a KPI thing on an excel and he told me he was super happy and that he was really surprised with how well I was doing. &#x200B; After that meeting, I was told I had to go 5 days to the lab of my other supervisor. This is when things started to get weird. I arrived there and I was getting a weird vibe from my supervisor but it was the first time we met in real life so I didn't think too much about it. She starts to show me the place and tells me that she wants to show me some IT stuff. I told her that I didn't bring my work laptop from the other place but that I had brought my personal laptop (I know this is my bad, I just assume she was going to give me one, but again completely my bad). She told me something like \"don't worry, I will send you the manuals and you can let me know if you have an issue when you go back\". After that, we started doing some work that day and everything was ok. &#x200B; The next day, we had to prepare to do some experiments with animals to extract their organs while there were still alive. Just to be clear during the interviews I was only told \"you will have to work with organs and biological samples\". So during that experiment, I felt pretty bad, told her that I was going out for a while and then came back and told her that I was sorry that I felt very uncomfortable with that. She told me to go home and to contact my other supervisor because she thought that he should know. I did that and went to sleep. &#x200B; The next day, I was able to that experiments but I was starting to receive a lot of random negative comments from this woman like \"I feel you are absolutely not interested in this project\" out of nowhere. She also told me things like \"you are not taking notes\" that at the time she told me that I was not taking notes but at other moments I was taking notes, she also said things like \"you can use your time to read papers\" that is something that I was also doing but not exactly at the moment she told me that. &#x200B; Days went by and, honestly, our relationship kind of went to this place of not really talking that much. Now I know it was a super stupid move from me. I did everything that she told me to do but I recognise that I didn't do more than what she told me to. &#x200B; The last day I was there she told me to meet her at her office. There she started saying things to me like \"I don't think you are a good student\", \"I don't think you will be able to find collaborators\", \"This PhD is going to get harder and harder\", ... To those things, I didn't really answer a lot of things other than \"sorry, the next time I come here I will try to improve\". &#x200B; The next day I had a holiday but the \"nice supervisor\" called me to go to his office. So I went and he was there waiting for me with the other supervisor on zoom. I go in and he tells me \"For legal reasons we have to record this\" (I knew things were not going well at that point). &#x200B; They started to accuse me of multiple things. Some things were true, for example, the fact that I left that day at the experiment. Other things were half-trues, for example, that I didn't take my work laptop (which is true but she didn't tell me it was a problem). Some things were lies, for example, the \"nice supervisor\" told me that he received very negative feedback from my coworkers. I later checked with them and they promised me that they gave very positive feedback in fact. And some things were absolute bullsh\\*t, for instance, they were questioning why I was living in a town and not in the city. &#x200B; After that, they told me that I was fired. They told me that if I resigned they would write me a \"somewhat good\" recommendation letter for another place but that if they had to fire me they would not do that. After a couple of minutes of discussion, I told them to give me a couple of weeks to prove to them that I can work better. They talked about it and that I had a week and a half to do it. They told me that they were going to write a list of things they want me to do, but that they were not going to give that list, I had to figure it out. &#x200B; After that, I talked with my coworkers and they presented a letter to the \"nice\" supervisor telling them that they don't agree with that decision and that they never gave negative feedback and that this letter is there to prove that they want to give positive feedback about me. Something else that I discovered while talking with my colleagues is that this supervisor started to ask them HR questions (like \"do you think he is reliable?) the day after I left the experiment with the animals. &#x200B; The next day (today), my supervisor told me to go to his office. We sat down and gave a list of very general and broad stuff like \"don´t assume, ask first\", \"think before you act\", \"recognise your mistakes\", ... He also told me that I should try to focus on impressing the other supervisor not him. I thanked him for that list (even though it was not the list they wrote the day before and it was more like \"tips\"). I also told him that I don't know what I am going to be able to do in just one week and a half, he agreed to that. He also told me that he thinks that their decision to fire me was not the best way to handle it, but that if they don't fire me now they cannot fire me for the next 9 months. He told me that he thought I had a chance of doing it. &#x200B; This supervisor has money for hiring more students without the other supervisor. I asked him if he saw changing me to another project as an option (so basically me not working with the other supervisor). He told me that he does not see it as an option because \"that is too easy and you have to learn to work with different kind of people\", which is kind of true (i guess). I have been doing my work, reading papers and sending very nice emails to show that I care. I am going to go next week to the other university to show that I care (I cannot go more because of COVID). I have apologized to both of them for not being able to prove how much I like this position. But, honestly, there are not that many things one can achieve (at least in my field) in a week and a half. &#x200B; I am very worried. I came from another country, I have contracts here now for two years (apartment, phone, health insurance, ...), I really like the project that I am doing, the coworkers are really nice, .... &#x200B; I would like to know your opinion. Do you think I have options of keeping the position? Do you think they just gave me this week and a half to \"show that they tried to let me improve but I didn't\"? &#x200B; Thank you so much for reading my story. Please don't hesitate to comment!! I really can use all the help and tips I can get!! &#x200B; PS: I know I have not given a lot of specific details, but I would also like to stay as anonymous as possible just to avoid potential problems. But if you think that there is something important that could be missing please let me know! &#x200B; Thanks again", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whatever the outcome, I would sincerely consider pursuing your PhD elsewhere. Your co-supervisor being so critical after a day or two working with you and saying things like \"you'll never find collaborators\" when you're barely a couple of months into your project is wild. Then them creating a list for improvement and 1) not telling you what it is and 2) expecting you to improve in a week or two is insane, unprofessional, purposefully stress-inducing and ultimately a consequence of their own poor communication about what the project and its aims are. It sounds like they wanted a postdoc trained in the techniques but could only afford a grad student.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Science professor at major US university promoting capitol rioters, election disinformation, COVID conspiracy theories, etc. on Twitter. Who do I report this to? I recently came across the Twitter account of an academic research scientist (professor at a well known university) and saw that he has thousands of tweets promoting all sorts of insane conspiracy theories, pro-Trump propaganda from extreme right wing news sources, and even conspiracy theories about COVID-19. The COVID stuff is really shocking because it is not that far from his field of research! He looks to be a mid-level professor. This is disturbing to me. Scientists are supposed to be promoters of reason, truth, and evidence. What this person is doing is the antithesis of that. This Twitter account is under his real name, but it seems to be flying under the radar because he is only following a bunch of right wing propagandists. He has no followers in his field and isn't following any other scientists. I have verified that it is indeed the professor's account. His username is a science term from his field, and he has posted some slightly less inflammatory things publicly on facebook also where his photo is visible. What should I do in this situation? Contact his academic department? Retweet some of his stuff to draw attention to it? His research is funded by the US government and I don't think a conspiracy nut and propagandist should be in charge of a federally funded research lab.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Report to a journalists or write an email to the university or write a Twitter thread. Many things you can do or write a medium article.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Science professor at major US university promoting capitol rioters, election disinformation, COVID conspiracy theories, etc. on Twitter. Who do I report this to? I recently came across the Twitter account of an academic research scientist (professor at a well known university) and saw that he has thousands of tweets promoting all sorts of insane conspiracy theories, pro-Trump propaganda from extreme right wing news sources, and even conspiracy theories about COVID-19. The COVID stuff is really shocking because it is not that far from his field of research! He looks to be a mid-level professor. This is disturbing to me. Scientists are supposed to be promoters of reason, truth, and evidence. What this person is doing is the antithesis of that. This Twitter account is under his real name, but it seems to be flying under the radar because he is only following a bunch of right wing propagandists. He has no followers in his field and isn't following any other scientists. I have verified that it is indeed the professor's account. His username is a science term from his field, and he has posted some slightly less inflammatory things publicly on facebook also where his photo is visible. What should I do in this situation? Contact his academic department? Retweet some of his stuff to draw attention to it? His research is funded by the US government and I don't think a conspiracy nut and propagandist should be in charge of a federally funded research lab.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on, tell us! Who is it?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Science professor at major US university promoting capitol rioters, election disinformation, COVID conspiracy theories, etc. on Twitter. Who do I report this to? I recently came across the Twitter account of an academic research scientist (professor at a well known university) and saw that he has thousands of tweets promoting all sorts of insane conspiracy theories, pro-Trump propaganda from extreme right wing news sources, and even conspiracy theories about COVID-19. The COVID stuff is really shocking because it is not that far from his field of research! He looks to be a mid-level professor. This is disturbing to me. Scientists are supposed to be promoters of reason, truth, and evidence. What this person is doing is the antithesis of that. This Twitter account is under his real name, but it seems to be flying under the radar because he is only following a bunch of right wing propagandists. He has no followers in his field and isn't following any other scientists. I have verified that it is indeed the professor's account. His username is a science term from his field, and he has posted some slightly less inflammatory things publicly on facebook also where his photo is visible. What should I do in this situation? Contact his academic department? Retweet some of his stuff to draw attention to it? His research is funded by the US government and I don't think a conspiracy nut and propagandist should be in charge of a federally funded research lab.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "First of all, I agree with you about the validity (or incorrectness, I should say) of these tweets and their content. However, what’s the point? Why try to ruin someone’s career and life just because you disagree? Did this professor tweet anything actually illegal, or just that you (and I) disagree with? It’s already public, just leave it alone and move on.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Science professor at major US university promoting capitol rioters, election disinformation, COVID conspiracy theories, etc. on Twitter. Who do I report this to? I recently came across the Twitter account of an academic research scientist (professor at a well known university) and saw that he has thousands of tweets promoting all sorts of insane conspiracy theories, pro-Trump propaganda from extreme right wing news sources, and even conspiracy theories about COVID-19. The COVID stuff is really shocking because it is not that far from his field of research! He looks to be a mid-level professor. This is disturbing to me. Scientists are supposed to be promoters of reason, truth, and evidence. What this person is doing is the antithesis of that. This Twitter account is under his real name, but it seems to be flying under the radar because he is only following a bunch of right wing propagandists. He has no followers in his field and isn't following any other scientists. I have verified that it is indeed the professor's account. His username is a science term from his field, and he has posted some slightly less inflammatory things publicly on facebook also where his photo is visible. What should I do in this situation? Contact his academic department? Retweet some of his stuff to draw attention to it? His research is funded by the US government and I don't think a conspiracy nut and propagandist should be in charge of a federally funded research lab.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on, tell us! Who is it?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Science professor at major US university promoting capitol rioters, election disinformation, COVID conspiracy theories, etc. on Twitter. Who do I report this to? I recently came across the Twitter account of an academic research scientist (professor at a well known university) and saw that he has thousands of tweets promoting all sorts of insane conspiracy theories, pro-Trump propaganda from extreme right wing news sources, and even conspiracy theories about COVID-19. The COVID stuff is really shocking because it is not that far from his field of research! He looks to be a mid-level professor. This is disturbing to me. Scientists are supposed to be promoters of reason, truth, and evidence. What this person is doing is the antithesis of that. This Twitter account is under his real name, but it seems to be flying under the radar because he is only following a bunch of right wing propagandists. He has no followers in his field and isn't following any other scientists. I have verified that it is indeed the professor's account. His username is a science term from his field, and he has posted some slightly less inflammatory things publicly on facebook also where his photo is visible. What should I do in this situation? Contact his academic department? Retweet some of his stuff to draw attention to it? His research is funded by the US government and I don't think a conspiracy nut and propagandist should be in charge of a federally funded research lab.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Report to a journalists or write an email to the university or write a Twitter thread. Many things you can do or write a medium article.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Science professor at major US university promoting capitol rioters, election disinformation, COVID conspiracy theories, etc. on Twitter. Who do I report this to? I recently came across the Twitter account of an academic research scientist (professor at a well known university) and saw that he has thousands of tweets promoting all sorts of insane conspiracy theories, pro-Trump propaganda from extreme right wing news sources, and even conspiracy theories about COVID-19. The COVID stuff is really shocking because it is not that far from his field of research! He looks to be a mid-level professor. This is disturbing to me. Scientists are supposed to be promoters of reason, truth, and evidence. What this person is doing is the antithesis of that. This Twitter account is under his real name, but it seems to be flying under the radar because he is only following a bunch of right wing propagandists. He has no followers in his field and isn't following any other scientists. I have verified that it is indeed the professor's account. His username is a science term from his field, and he has posted some slightly less inflammatory things publicly on facebook also where his photo is visible. What should I do in this situation? Contact his academic department? Retweet some of his stuff to draw attention to it? His research is funded by the US government and I don't think a conspiracy nut and propagandist should be in charge of a federally funded research lab.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I am extremely uncomfortable with the mentality that if someone has an egregious idea that I don't like that I should try to ruin their life.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Science professor at major US university promoting capitol rioters, election disinformation, COVID conspiracy theories, etc. on Twitter. Who do I report this to? I recently came across the Twitter account of an academic research scientist (professor at a well known university) and saw that he has thousands of tweets promoting all sorts of insane conspiracy theories, pro-Trump propaganda from extreme right wing news sources, and even conspiracy theories about COVID-19. The COVID stuff is really shocking because it is not that far from his field of research! He looks to be a mid-level professor. This is disturbing to me. Scientists are supposed to be promoters of reason, truth, and evidence. What this person is doing is the antithesis of that. This Twitter account is under his real name, but it seems to be flying under the radar because he is only following a bunch of right wing propagandists. He has no followers in his field and isn't following any other scientists. I have verified that it is indeed the professor's account. His username is a science term from his field, and he has posted some slightly less inflammatory things publicly on facebook also where his photo is visible. What should I do in this situation? Contact his academic department? Retweet some of his stuff to draw attention to it? His research is funded by the US government and I don't think a conspiracy nut and propagandist should be in charge of a federally funded research lab.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "First of all, I agree with you about the validity (or incorrectness, I should say) of these tweets and their content. However, what’s the point? Why try to ruin someone’s career and life just because you disagree? Did this professor tweet anything actually illegal, or just that you (and I) disagree with? It’s already public, just leave it alone and move on.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Science professor at major US university promoting capitol rioters, election disinformation, COVID conspiracy theories, etc. on Twitter. Who do I report this to? I recently came across the Twitter account of an academic research scientist (professor at a well known university) and saw that he has thousands of tweets promoting all sorts of insane conspiracy theories, pro-Trump propaganda from extreme right wing news sources, and even conspiracy theories about COVID-19. The COVID stuff is really shocking because it is not that far from his field of research! He looks to be a mid-level professor. This is disturbing to me. Scientists are supposed to be promoters of reason, truth, and evidence. What this person is doing is the antithesis of that. This Twitter account is under his real name, but it seems to be flying under the radar because he is only following a bunch of right wing propagandists. He has no followers in his field and isn't following any other scientists. I have verified that it is indeed the professor's account. His username is a science term from his field, and he has posted some slightly less inflammatory things publicly on facebook also where his photo is visible. What should I do in this situation? Contact his academic department? Retweet some of his stuff to draw attention to it? His research is funded by the US government and I don't think a conspiracy nut and propagandist should be in charge of a federally funded research lab.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I am extremely uncomfortable with the mentality that if someone has an egregious idea that I don't like that I should try to ruin their life.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Science professor at major US university promoting capitol rioters, election disinformation, COVID conspiracy theories, etc. on Twitter. Who do I report this to? I recently came across the Twitter account of an academic research scientist (professor at a well known university) and saw that he has thousands of tweets promoting all sorts of insane conspiracy theories, pro-Trump propaganda from extreme right wing news sources, and even conspiracy theories about COVID-19. The COVID stuff is really shocking because it is not that far from his field of research! He looks to be a mid-level professor. This is disturbing to me. Scientists are supposed to be promoters of reason, truth, and evidence. What this person is doing is the antithesis of that. This Twitter account is under his real name, but it seems to be flying under the radar because he is only following a bunch of right wing propagandists. He has no followers in his field and isn't following any other scientists. I have verified that it is indeed the professor's account. His username is a science term from his field, and he has posted some slightly less inflammatory things publicly on facebook also where his photo is visible. What should I do in this situation? Contact his academic department? Retweet some of his stuff to draw attention to it? His research is funded by the US government and I don't think a conspiracy nut and propagandist should be in charge of a federally funded research lab.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I think he should have the freedom to hold and express his incorrect ideas.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Science professor at major US university promoting capitol rioters, election disinformation, COVID conspiracy theories, etc. on Twitter. Who do I report this to? I recently came across the Twitter account of an academic research scientist (professor at a well known university) and saw that he has thousands of tweets promoting all sorts of insane conspiracy theories, pro-Trump propaganda from extreme right wing news sources, and even conspiracy theories about COVID-19. The COVID stuff is really shocking because it is not that far from his field of research! He looks to be a mid-level professor. This is disturbing to me. Scientists are supposed to be promoters of reason, truth, and evidence. What this person is doing is the antithesis of that. This Twitter account is under his real name, but it seems to be flying under the radar because he is only following a bunch of right wing propagandists. He has no followers in his field and isn't following any other scientists. I have verified that it is indeed the professor's account. His username is a science term from his field, and he has posted some slightly less inflammatory things publicly on facebook also where his photo is visible. What should I do in this situation? Contact his academic department? Retweet some of his stuff to draw attention to it? His research is funded by the US government and I don't think a conspiracy nut and propagandist should be in charge of a federally funded research lab.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I am extremely uncomfortable with the mentality that if someone has an egregious idea that I don't like that I should try to ruin their life.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What's your unpopular opinion about your field? Title.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm in religion, technically in 'theology' not religious studies. I train ministers and chaplains. I'm pretty sure God doesn't exist. More agnostic than atheist, but even if God does exist, I don't think They matter that much. I think all the time angsting over who God is or what God wants is a distraction from making a better society here and now. But I try to understand why others think it's so important.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What's your unpopular opinion about your field? Title.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I am in some mash up of drug discovery, computational chemistry, and computational physics. Honestly, methods papers don't get the love they deserve and more people need to run replicates to ensure that their simulations have not gone into weird phase space. Also a lot of experimentalists have no clue what a simulation can and can not show.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What's your unpopular opinion about your field? Title.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The findings of most human-environment research point in directions that are economically inconvenient. Politicians are aware of what we're saying and what needs to be done but don't care because it would affect their fundraising and ability to be re-elected.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What's your unpopular opinion about your field? Title.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I am in some mash up of drug discovery, computational chemistry, and computational physics. Honestly, methods papers don't get the love they deserve and more people need to run replicates to ensure that their simulations have not gone into weird phase space. Also a lot of experimentalists have no clue what a simulation can and can not show.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What's your unpopular opinion about your field? Title.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm in public health nutrition. Sugar-sweetened beverage (SSB) taxes are gross. People talk about how they are super effective as a public health intervention because \"low socio-economic status populations bear the brunt of the burden of disease associated with SSB and they are most 'price sensitive' to the taxes and so they are most effective where they are needed most.\" I don't *deny* any of that's true, but hearing all the \"equity is important, we must respect the individual!\" public health practitioners basically say \"This intervention works by leveraging the fact people are poor to make them behave in the way we think they need to,\" is *so* gross and is textbook paternalism. If asked about this aspect they'll say that the taxes can go back into public health interventions that will better the health of the community like that makes it less gross. It doesn't. Fund your interventions in ways that don't raise funds by burdening those already so burdened in the name of helping them.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What's your unpopular opinion about your field? Title.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I am in some mash up of drug discovery, computational chemistry, and computational physics. Honestly, methods papers don't get the love they deserve and more people need to run replicates to ensure that their simulations have not gone into weird phase space. Also a lot of experimentalists have no clue what a simulation can and can not show.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What's your unpopular opinion about your field? Title.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Lots in education, somehow, still think that schooling is primarily a psychological process in which social forces don't matter. Similarly, Theories and approaches, especially in contemporary neoliberal america, get stripped of their original social and political commitments. I saw a syllabus for a course on Critical Pedagogy and it didnt have a single reading by Freire or any other progressive. Critical Literacy gets transformed into \"Critical Thinking\"", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What's your unpopular opinion about your field? Title.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I am in some mash up of drug discovery, computational chemistry, and computational physics. Honestly, methods papers don't get the love they deserve and more people need to run replicates to ensure that their simulations have not gone into weird phase space. Also a lot of experimentalists have no clue what a simulation can and can not show.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What's your unpopular opinion about your field? Title.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm in religion, technically in 'theology' not religious studies. I train ministers and chaplains. I'm pretty sure God doesn't exist. More agnostic than atheist, but even if God does exist, I don't think They matter that much. I think all the time angsting over who God is or what God wants is a distraction from making a better society here and now. But I try to understand why others think it's so important.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What's your unpopular opinion about your field? Title.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "People fly too often. Everyone expects a solution that makes aviation greener without constraining \"the growth of the industry\", but it's possible that commercial air travel is inherently unsustainable. Even if we find it's possible (physically, safely, practically) to eliminate aviation's climate impact, flight ticket prices will increase, perhaps to the point where only the wealthy can afford to fly. Passenger rail is likely a better investment for greening transportation, which is an unfortunate opinion for an aerospace engineer to hold.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Dating struggles as an older phd student...to date or not to date? Dating as an older non-traditional phd student has been hella hard. Recently divorced and I’m in my 40’s (f). I’m currently in my 3rd year in a mathematics program. I met a really great guy who’s also a non-traditional student and is studying English. He’s in his 40’s too and divorced. The catch? He’s in his junior year of undergrad at the college I teach in. I’ve never taught him and won’t teach him at all. No supervisory responsibility or anything like that. In fact, we met at the food hall on campus! I want to give this a go but I don’t want backlash. Thoughts?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Do what makes you happy.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Dating struggles as an older phd student...to date or not to date? Dating as an older non-traditional phd student has been hella hard. Recently divorced and I’m in my 40’s (f). I’m currently in my 3rd year in a mathematics program. I met a really great guy who’s also a non-traditional student and is studying English. He’s in his 40’s too and divorced. The catch? He’s in his junior year of undergrad at the college I teach in. I’ve never taught him and won’t teach him at all. No supervisory responsibility or anything like that. In fact, we met at the food hall on campus! I want to give this a go but I don’t want backlash. Thoughts?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Don’t let your life slip away while your doing your PhD, have some fun and enjoy yourself!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Dating struggles as an older phd student...to date or not to date? Dating as an older non-traditional phd student has been hella hard. Recently divorced and I’m in my 40’s (f). I’m currently in my 3rd year in a mathematics program. I met a really great guy who’s also a non-traditional student and is studying English. He’s in his 40’s too and divorced. The catch? He’s in his junior year of undergrad at the college I teach in. I’ve never taught him and won’t teach him at all. No supervisory responsibility or anything like that. In fact, we met at the food hall on campus! I want to give this a go but I don’t want backlash. Thoughts?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Do what makes you happy.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Dating struggles as an older phd student...to date or not to date? Dating as an older non-traditional phd student has been hella hard. Recently divorced and I’m in my 40’s (f). I’m currently in my 3rd year in a mathematics program. I met a really great guy who’s also a non-traditional student and is studying English. He’s in his 40’s too and divorced. The catch? He’s in his junior year of undergrad at the college I teach in. I’ve never taught him and won’t teach him at all. No supervisory responsibility or anything like that. In fact, we met at the food hall on campus! I want to give this a go but I don’t want backlash. Thoughts?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yay! I say go for it. You’re not faculty and as long as you’re not teaching him, it’s all good", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Dating struggles as an older phd student...to date or not to date? Dating as an older non-traditional phd student has been hella hard. Recently divorced and I’m in my 40’s (f). I’m currently in my 3rd year in a mathematics program. I met a really great guy who’s also a non-traditional student and is studying English. He’s in his 40’s too and divorced. The catch? He’s in his junior year of undergrad at the college I teach in. I’ve never taught him and won’t teach him at all. No supervisory responsibility or anything like that. In fact, we met at the food hall on campus! I want to give this a go but I don’t want backlash. Thoughts?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Do what makes you happy.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Dating struggles as an older phd student...to date or not to date? Dating as an older non-traditional phd student has been hella hard. Recently divorced and I’m in my 40’s (f). I’m currently in my 3rd year in a mathematics program. I met a really great guy who’s also a non-traditional student and is studying English. He’s in his 40’s too and divorced. The catch? He’s in his junior year of undergrad at the college I teach in. I’ve never taught him and won’t teach him at all. No supervisory responsibility or anything like that. In fact, we met at the food hall on campus! I want to give this a go but I don’t want backlash. Thoughts?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ma’am I know a guy (37M) in my program who just got his PhD and has literally dated solely undergrads throughout his degree under more ethically questionable circumstances and nobody bats a fucking eye except me and my girlfriend because the dude has other major red flags nobody else for some reason sees. So yeah send it", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Dating struggles as an older phd student...to date or not to date? Dating as an older non-traditional phd student has been hella hard. Recently divorced and I’m in my 40’s (f). I’m currently in my 3rd year in a mathematics program. I met a really great guy who’s also a non-traditional student and is studying English. He’s in his 40’s too and divorced. The catch? He’s in his junior year of undergrad at the college I teach in. I’ve never taught him and won’t teach him at all. No supervisory responsibility or anything like that. In fact, we met at the food hall on campus! I want to give this a go but I don’t want backlash. Thoughts?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I remember in my undergrad there was an elder student living in the halls as a TA. I suspect he was on some spectrum of Asperger’s or even Autism. He was older, socially awkward, not really I’m good shape, and clearly single (likely a virgin). Always appeared at parties and wanted to talk to girls but too shy. For him, I can see dating life was a real struggle. If you have the opportunity, you should go for it as there doesn’t appear to be any real conflict.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Dating struggles as an older phd student...to date or not to date? Dating as an older non-traditional phd student has been hella hard. Recently divorced and I’m in my 40’s (f). I’m currently in my 3rd year in a mathematics program. I met a really great guy who’s also a non-traditional student and is studying English. He’s in his 40’s too and divorced. The catch? He’s in his junior year of undergrad at the college I teach in. I’ve never taught him and won’t teach him at all. No supervisory responsibility or anything like that. In fact, we met at the food hall on campus! I want to give this a go but I don’t want backlash. Thoughts?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Conflict of interest lesson for you: Conflicts of interests exist. They are not a problem if your are up front about them and clearly address them. Most serious universities will have clear rules about this - dramas only arise when the conflict of interest is not declared and thus not dealt with. I would recommend being up front and honest. I wouldn’t recommend worrying! You’re clearly not being predatory here.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Authorship denied because of sudden quitting My gf has been working as a graduate research assistant for about a year now. Her PI tasked her with a paper and much more work. In the end the work was bearing too much on her and she decided to quit abruptly. The problem is there is a paper that is practically finished but the PI is threatening to deny her authorship and may only put her in the acknowledgements even though she did all the data collection and wrote the majority of the paper. This seems highly unprofessional to me but I am not in the field of acadamia. I would like to know others opinion on this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If she wrote the majority of the paper, she is definitely entitled to authorship, perhaps even first-author, given that she also did data collection. Was she involved the data analysis portion?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Authorship denied because of sudden quitting My gf has been working as a graduate research assistant for about a year now. Her PI tasked her with a paper and much more work. In the end the work was bearing too much on her and she decided to quit abruptly. The problem is there is a paper that is practically finished but the PI is threatening to deny her authorship and may only put her in the acknowledgements even though she did all the data collection and wrote the majority of the paper. This seems highly unprofessional to me but I am not in the field of acadamia. I would like to know others opinion on this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That is unethical, as others observed and can be reported to the campus Research Integrity Officer as a case of plagiarism. The PI cannot remove an author simply because they quit.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Authorship denied because of sudden quitting My gf has been working as a graduate research assistant for about a year now. Her PI tasked her with a paper and much more work. In the end the work was bearing too much on her and she decided to quit abruptly. The problem is there is a paper that is practically finished but the PI is threatening to deny her authorship and may only put her in the acknowledgements even though she did all the data collection and wrote the majority of the paper. This seems highly unprofessional to me but I am not in the field of acadamia. I would like to know others opinion on this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This is unethical but, as you are seeing, does sometimes happen. Without knowing all of the details, here is my rough recommendation of how to proceed: 1. Have a discussion with the PI to discuss order of authorship. Your girlfriend can note her contributions to the projects, aim to get a sense of other people's contributions after she left, and ask for fair inclusion. In general, if a person did all of the data collection and wrote most of the manuscript, they should be first or maybe second author. There are a whole range of reasonable reasons to be lower in the order of authorship (e.g., she did data collection for one of several studies to be included in the manuscript, her work had issues and needed to be redone, the writing was insufficient and someone else needed to re-write the manuscript, etc.). It would help to have a better picture of everything. Still, so long as the manuscript contains her original work and ideas, she should be listed as an author. 2. Hopefully Step #1 works. If it doesn't, it's worth elevating to someone at the university. The department chair or faculty liaison to graduate students may be worth having a conversation with. It's possible that they can provide some perspective, broker an agreement, or read the PI the riot act. If your girlfriend's graduate student assistantship was part of a graduate student union, it may be worth talking with a union rep, too. The ombuds office on campus is an anonymous resource for talking through concerns like this, and may be familiar with campus-specific resources for navigating this kind of concern. 3. I hope that some sort of arrangement can take place before the paper is published. That said, if the paper is full of your girlfriend's original work and is published without her listed as an author, it is worth contacting the editor of the journal it is published in. Any evidence that demonstrates her contributions is worth saving in order to show to the editor in the event that this is necessary. I don't know what would come out of contacting the editor, but hopefully this is something they would take seriously. While the authorship of papers sometimes changes as the paper evolves (people join the team, leave, take on new responsibilities on the project, etc.), threatening to drop someone as an author as a retaliatory measure is never okay. If they did the work, they deserve the credit, period. I'm sorry that your girlfriend is going through this, and I hope she gets an agreeable resolution.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Authorship denied because of sudden quitting My gf has been working as a graduate research assistant for about a year now. Her PI tasked her with a paper and much more work. In the end the work was bearing too much on her and she decided to quit abruptly. The problem is there is a paper that is practically finished but the PI is threatening to deny her authorship and may only put her in the acknowledgements even though she did all the data collection and wrote the majority of the paper. This seems highly unprofessional to me but I am not in the field of acadamia. I would like to know others opinion on this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That is unethical, as others observed and can be reported to the campus Research Integrity Officer as a case of plagiarism. The PI cannot remove an author simply because they quit.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Authorship denied because of sudden quitting My gf has been working as a graduate research assistant for about a year now. Her PI tasked her with a paper and much more work. In the end the work was bearing too much on her and she decided to quit abruptly. The problem is there is a paper that is practically finished but the PI is threatening to deny her authorship and may only put her in the acknowledgements even though she did all the data collection and wrote the majority of the paper. This seems highly unprofessional to me but I am not in the field of acadamia. I would like to know others opinion on this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It depends on the extent of her contribution. Just data collection isn’t necessarily enough, but if she contributed significantly to the analysis and writing she’s an author. If she can’t work something out with her PI, next steps would be to see either the director of graduate studies for her program or, if the grad students are unionized (rare in the US) a union rep.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Authorship denied because of sudden quitting My gf has been working as a graduate research assistant for about a year now. Her PI tasked her with a paper and much more work. In the end the work was bearing too much on her and she decided to quit abruptly. The problem is there is a paper that is practically finished but the PI is threatening to deny her authorship and may only put her in the acknowledgements even though she did all the data collection and wrote the majority of the paper. This seems highly unprofessional to me but I am not in the field of acadamia. I would like to know others opinion on this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That is unethical, as others observed and can be reported to the campus Research Integrity Officer as a case of plagiarism. The PI cannot remove an author simply because they quit.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Authorship denied because of sudden quitting My gf has been working as a graduate research assistant for about a year now. Her PI tasked her with a paper and much more work. In the end the work was bearing too much on her and she decided to quit abruptly. The problem is there is a paper that is practically finished but the PI is threatening to deny her authorship and may only put her in the acknowledgements even though she did all the data collection and wrote the majority of the paper. This seems highly unprofessional to me but I am not in the field of acadamia. I would like to know others opinion on this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This is unethical but, as you are seeing, does sometimes happen. Without knowing all of the details, here is my rough recommendation of how to proceed: 1. Have a discussion with the PI to discuss order of authorship. Your girlfriend can note her contributions to the projects, aim to get a sense of other people's contributions after she left, and ask for fair inclusion. In general, if a person did all of the data collection and wrote most of the manuscript, they should be first or maybe second author. There are a whole range of reasonable reasons to be lower in the order of authorship (e.g., she did data collection for one of several studies to be included in the manuscript, her work had issues and needed to be redone, the writing was insufficient and someone else needed to re-write the manuscript, etc.). It would help to have a better picture of everything. Still, so long as the manuscript contains her original work and ideas, she should be listed as an author. 2. Hopefully Step #1 works. If it doesn't, it's worth elevating to someone at the university. The department chair or faculty liaison to graduate students may be worth having a conversation with. It's possible that they can provide some perspective, broker an agreement, or read the PI the riot act. If your girlfriend's graduate student assistantship was part of a graduate student union, it may be worth talking with a union rep, too. The ombuds office on campus is an anonymous resource for talking through concerns like this, and may be familiar with campus-specific resources for navigating this kind of concern. 3. I hope that some sort of arrangement can take place before the paper is published. That said, if the paper is full of your girlfriend's original work and is published without her listed as an author, it is worth contacting the editor of the journal it is published in. Any evidence that demonstrates her contributions is worth saving in order to show to the editor in the event that this is necessary. I don't know what would come out of contacting the editor, but hopefully this is something they would take seriously. While the authorship of papers sometimes changes as the paper evolves (people join the team, leave, take on new responsibilities on the project, etc.), threatening to drop someone as an author as a retaliatory measure is never okay. If they did the work, they deserve the credit, period. I'm sorry that your girlfriend is going through this, and I hope she gets an agreeable resolution.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Authorship denied because of sudden quitting My gf has been working as a graduate research assistant for about a year now. Her PI tasked her with a paper and much more work. In the end the work was bearing too much on her and she decided to quit abruptly. The problem is there is a paper that is practically finished but the PI is threatening to deny her authorship and may only put her in the acknowledgements even though she did all the data collection and wrote the majority of the paper. This seems highly unprofessional to me but I am not in the field of acadamia. I would like to know others opinion on this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "A bunch of comments are debating whether she should be author. This is beside the point. If the professor is threatening to deny her authorship because she's leaving the group, it implies that authorship is deserved. Full stop. If the paper isn't completely finished then it isn't going to get submitted unless she or someone else resumes the work. So it sounds like someone else is going to have to pick this up, and it would be difficult to prevent the PI from changing the author order. It would be shitty/unethical/unprofessional to remove the graduate student from the paper entirely. u/jogam has a couple of ideas that seem to be pretty good to me.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Authorship denied because of sudden quitting My gf has been working as a graduate research assistant for about a year now. Her PI tasked her with a paper and much more work. In the end the work was bearing too much on her and she decided to quit abruptly. The problem is there is a paper that is practically finished but the PI is threatening to deny her authorship and may only put her in the acknowledgements even though she did all the data collection and wrote the majority of the paper. This seems highly unprofessional to me but I am not in the field of acadamia. I would like to know others opinion on this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If she collected the data and write a majority of the paper, then authorship of some sort should be warranted. However, because she left before it was submitted she cannot expect her position in the author list to remain wherever it was depending on how much is left to be done. For example: * Did she analyze the data she collected? * Was she involved in subsequent editing of the paper after she left? You can write the initial draft but manuscripts often go through numerous rounds of editing. * Will she address reviewer comments once those come back? * Will she do reviewer requested experiments? It's most likely that the reviewers will ask for more experiments. * Will she edit the manuscript to address reviewer comments? * If the paper is rejected, then it will probably have to be repackaged for another journal which means more editing, revisions, etc. Will she be involved in that? These are just a couple of things that come to mind. She most likely deserves authorship, but things like what I listed above will most likely determine her order of authorship.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Authorship denied because of sudden quitting My gf has been working as a graduate research assistant for about a year now. Her PI tasked her with a paper and much more work. In the end the work was bearing too much on her and she decided to quit abruptly. The problem is there is a paper that is practically finished but the PI is threatening to deny her authorship and may only put her in the acknowledgements even though she did all the data collection and wrote the majority of the paper. This seems highly unprofessional to me but I am not in the field of acadamia. I would like to know others opinion on this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "A bunch of comments are debating whether she should be author. This is beside the point. If the professor is threatening to deny her authorship because she's leaving the group, it implies that authorship is deserved. Full stop. If the paper isn't completely finished then it isn't going to get submitted unless she or someone else resumes the work. So it sounds like someone else is going to have to pick this up, and it would be difficult to prevent the PI from changing the author order. It would be shitty/unethical/unprofessional to remove the graduate student from the paper entirely. u/jogam has a couple of ideas that seem to be pretty good to me.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yo professors, do you ever get annoyed at students that visit you every day during your office hours? Taking my discrete math class this semeseter, easily the hardest class ive ever taken. im a junior &#x200B; im literally visiting my professor every day (he says if his office door is open, hes open to meet). &#x200B; Am i annoying him by visiting him every day? I need a C+ in this class and this class is FUCKING HARD. &#x200B; so do yall get annoyed at students that meet every single day? &#x200B; he did tell me im the only student that visits /meets him on teams via online during office hours..", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Don’t worry overthink it. You are paying for this class (with money and with the time you are devoting to this class) It’s a mark of growth to ask for help when you need it. He has office hours for a reason ...to help you out.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yo professors, do you ever get annoyed at students that visit you every day during your office hours? Taking my discrete math class this semeseter, easily the hardest class ive ever taken. im a junior &#x200B; im literally visiting my professor every day (he says if his office door is open, hes open to meet). &#x200B; Am i annoying him by visiting him every day? I need a C+ in this class and this class is FUCKING HARD. &#x200B; so do yall get annoyed at students that meet every single day? &#x200B; he did tell me im the only student that visits /meets him on teams via online during office hours..", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I would always rather a student come to office hours and get the support they need to succeed in the class than struggle and not come to office hours. I can guarantee you that every professor would also rather have a student come to office hours and get the passing grade they need rather than never come to office hours and send an email at the end of the semester saying \"I really need a C+ in the class, can you bump me up?\" You want a certain grade in a difficult class, and you are putting in the work to get it. You are doing the right things. (It does sound like this professor has an open door policy and you're using that, as stated. If he has specific office hours, too, you might try to make an effort to stop by at those times, if you're available, rather than at other times on those days. But I wouldn't feel bad about using his policy as advertised.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yo professors, do you ever get annoyed at students that visit you every day during your office hours? Taking my discrete math class this semeseter, easily the hardest class ive ever taken. im a junior &#x200B; im literally visiting my professor every day (he says if his office door is open, hes open to meet). &#x200B; Am i annoying him by visiting him every day? I need a C+ in this class and this class is FUCKING HARD. &#x200B; so do yall get annoyed at students that meet every single day? &#x200B; he did tell me im the only student that visits /meets him on teams via online during office hours..", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Honestly, if he was annoyed and still kept his office door open, it's on him. It doesn't sound like you disrespected any boundaries. I also agree with everyone else. This is what profs get paid for and most of us love to see our students try hard and get rewarded for their efforts (this doesn't always mean get A's)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yo professors, do you ever get annoyed at students that visit you every day during your office hours? Taking my discrete math class this semeseter, easily the hardest class ive ever taken. im a junior &#x200B; im literally visiting my professor every day (he says if his office door is open, hes open to meet). &#x200B; Am i annoying him by visiting him every day? I need a C+ in this class and this class is FUCKING HARD. &#x200B; so do yall get annoyed at students that meet every single day? &#x200B; he did tell me im the only student that visits /meets him on teams via online during office hours..", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Office hours are there to be used, but I CAN get frustrated if it feels like the student is using them like a crutch instead of working through it on their own. As long as you're listening and putting in the work, rather than thinking office hours are a substitute for working on your own, you're fine.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yo professors, do you ever get annoyed at students that visit you every day during your office hours? Taking my discrete math class this semeseter, easily the hardest class ive ever taken. im a junior &#x200B; im literally visiting my professor every day (he says if his office door is open, hes open to meet). &#x200B; Am i annoying him by visiting him every day? I need a C+ in this class and this class is FUCKING HARD. &#x200B; so do yall get annoyed at students that meet every single day? &#x200B; he did tell me im the only student that visits /meets him on teams via online during office hours..", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Don’t worry overthink it. You are paying for this class (with money and with the time you are devoting to this class) It’s a mark of growth to ask for help when you need it. He has office hours for a reason ...to help you out.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yo professors, do you ever get annoyed at students that visit you every day during your office hours? Taking my discrete math class this semeseter, easily the hardest class ive ever taken. im a junior &#x200B; im literally visiting my professor every day (he says if his office door is open, hes open to meet). &#x200B; Am i annoying him by visiting him every day? I need a C+ in this class and this class is FUCKING HARD. &#x200B; so do yall get annoyed at students that meet every single day? &#x200B; he did tell me im the only student that visits /meets him on teams via online during office hours..", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Office hours are there to be used, but I CAN get frustrated if it feels like the student is using them like a crutch instead of working through it on their own. As long as you're listening and putting in the work, rather than thinking office hours are a substitute for working on your own, you're fine.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yo professors, do you ever get annoyed at students that visit you every day during your office hours? Taking my discrete math class this semeseter, easily the hardest class ive ever taken. im a junior &#x200B; im literally visiting my professor every day (he says if his office door is open, hes open to meet). &#x200B; Am i annoying him by visiting him every day? I need a C+ in this class and this class is FUCKING HARD. &#x200B; so do yall get annoyed at students that meet every single day? &#x200B; he did tell me im the only student that visits /meets him on teams via online during office hours..", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The only time I get annoyed is if students don't try in class, don't read the syllabus (I'm one of THOSE), or don't come to class... then come to my office all the time. I actually appreciate when students are in my office hours. To me that shows that they are making an effort and truly care about the class. I've had a few that are the \"only ones\" as well.... and they did well in the class as a result of asking lots of questions!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yo professors, do you ever get annoyed at students that visit you every day during your office hours? Taking my discrete math class this semeseter, easily the hardest class ive ever taken. im a junior &#x200B; im literally visiting my professor every day (he says if his office door is open, hes open to meet). &#x200B; Am i annoying him by visiting him every day? I need a C+ in this class and this class is FUCKING HARD. &#x200B; so do yall get annoyed at students that meet every single day? &#x200B; he did tell me im the only student that visits /meets him on teams via online during office hours..", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Office hours are there to be used, but I CAN get frustrated if it feels like the student is using them like a crutch instead of working through it on their own. As long as you're listening and putting in the work, rather than thinking office hours are a substitute for working on your own, you're fine.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yo professors, do you ever get annoyed at students that visit you every day during your office hours? Taking my discrete math class this semeseter, easily the hardest class ive ever taken. im a junior &#x200B; im literally visiting my professor every day (he says if his office door is open, hes open to meet). &#x200B; Am i annoying him by visiting him every day? I need a C+ in this class and this class is FUCKING HARD. &#x200B; so do yall get annoyed at students that meet every single day? &#x200B; he did tell me im the only student that visits /meets him on teams via online during office hours..", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If you're going during office hours, then there's no issue at all. If he says it's okay to go whenever his door is open, then that's on him and I wouldn't worry about it. If you go every day because his door is open and not because he has office hours, there is some etiquette. Try to contain it to once a day (unless he has office hours multiple times in the same day), and try to keep it to quicker questions. These aren't office hours and he has other work to do, so this isn't the time for open ended questions. If you follow that you might annoy him a bit, but you won't cross any lines.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yo professors, do you ever get annoyed at students that visit you every day during your office hours? Taking my discrete math class this semeseter, easily the hardest class ive ever taken. im a junior &#x200B; im literally visiting my professor every day (he says if his office door is open, hes open to meet). &#x200B; Am i annoying him by visiting him every day? I need a C+ in this class and this class is FUCKING HARD. &#x200B; so do yall get annoyed at students that meet every single day? &#x200B; he did tell me im the only student that visits /meets him on teams via online during office hours..", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Office hours are there to be used, but I CAN get frustrated if it feels like the student is using them like a crutch instead of working through it on their own. As long as you're listening and putting in the work, rather than thinking office hours are a substitute for working on your own, you're fine.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I work seems pointless I recently graduated undergrad. I was super diligent and got to publish my senior thesis to a conference. I just recently spoke at a conference on said paper. I am enrolled in a masters program, I know I want to be a professor/researcher and do a PhD and the whole shebang. But with the conference, listening to everyone’s presentations on small details of hypothetical scenarios ... I am just left thinking, is any of this important? Why am I spending my time on this, when the world is going to crap? I don’t think that I dislike research... I think that I need to move to another field that is a little more applied and tied to real world problems. Has anyone else felt this way before? Would love to hear stories. Maybe I just depressed at the pandemic/climate change/political environment etc. Edit: rip title, “MY work”", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Use your position as an academic to organize and agitate for societal change.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I work seems pointless I recently graduated undergrad. I was super diligent and got to publish my senior thesis to a conference. I just recently spoke at a conference on said paper. I am enrolled in a masters program, I know I want to be a professor/researcher and do a PhD and the whole shebang. But with the conference, listening to everyone’s presentations on small details of hypothetical scenarios ... I am just left thinking, is any of this important? Why am I spending my time on this, when the world is going to crap? I don’t think that I dislike research... I think that I need to move to another field that is a little more applied and tied to real world problems. Has anyone else felt this way before? Would love to hear stories. Maybe I just depressed at the pandemic/climate change/political environment etc. Edit: rip title, “MY work”", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Have you read Andrew Kay's essay called \"Fanning the Flames While the Humanities Burn\"? From your post it doesn't sound like you're in the humanities, but in this essay Kay talks at length about the seeming frivolity of hyper-niche research that doesn't seem to affect anyone else and the commiserate disheartenment. It's definitely worth a read, even if you're not in the humanities. Edit: The Kay article is actually called \"Academy's Extinction Event.\" \"Fanning the Flames\" is a response to it by Anastasia Berg. They're both worth a read, but I wanted to make sure I was referencing the correct piece.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I work seems pointless I recently graduated undergrad. I was super diligent and got to publish my senior thesis to a conference. I just recently spoke at a conference on said paper. I am enrolled in a masters program, I know I want to be a professor/researcher and do a PhD and the whole shebang. But with the conference, listening to everyone’s presentations on small details of hypothetical scenarios ... I am just left thinking, is any of this important? Why am I spending my time on this, when the world is going to crap? I don’t think that I dislike research... I think that I need to move to another field that is a little more applied and tied to real world problems. Has anyone else felt this way before? Would love to hear stories. Maybe I just depressed at the pandemic/climate change/political environment etc. Edit: rip title, “MY work”", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That isn't just your field. Research is incremental, the more you understand how those small steps translate into large understandings, the sooner you can see the importance in your own small steps. If you're looking for big findings, go back in time, not to a different program.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I work seems pointless I recently graduated undergrad. I was super diligent and got to publish my senior thesis to a conference. I just recently spoke at a conference on said paper. I am enrolled in a masters program, I know I want to be a professor/researcher and do a PhD and the whole shebang. But with the conference, listening to everyone’s presentations on small details of hypothetical scenarios ... I am just left thinking, is any of this important? Why am I spending my time on this, when the world is going to crap? I don’t think that I dislike research... I think that I need to move to another field that is a little more applied and tied to real world problems. Has anyone else felt this way before? Would love to hear stories. Maybe I just depressed at the pandemic/climate change/political environment etc. Edit: rip title, “MY work”", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Have you read Andrew Kay's essay called \"Fanning the Flames While the Humanities Burn\"? From your post it doesn't sound like you're in the humanities, but in this essay Kay talks at length about the seeming frivolity of hyper-niche research that doesn't seem to affect anyone else and the commiserate disheartenment. It's definitely worth a read, even if you're not in the humanities. Edit: The Kay article is actually called \"Academy's Extinction Event.\" \"Fanning the Flames\" is a response to it by Anastasia Berg. They're both worth a read, but I wanted to make sure I was referencing the correct piece.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I work seems pointless I recently graduated undergrad. I was super diligent and got to publish my senior thesis to a conference. I just recently spoke at a conference on said paper. I am enrolled in a masters program, I know I want to be a professor/researcher and do a PhD and the whole shebang. But with the conference, listening to everyone’s presentations on small details of hypothetical scenarios ... I am just left thinking, is any of this important? Why am I spending my time on this, when the world is going to crap? I don’t think that I dislike research... I think that I need to move to another field that is a little more applied and tied to real world problems. Has anyone else felt this way before? Would love to hear stories. Maybe I just depressed at the pandemic/climate change/political environment etc. Edit: rip title, “MY work”", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I feel exactly the same way and I am an assistant professor in Biomedical engineering. I wish I could start over in greentech or just something that would make a difference for the environment. What use is a tissue engineered kidney is all the water is polluted anyway...", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I work seems pointless I recently graduated undergrad. I was super diligent and got to publish my senior thesis to a conference. I just recently spoke at a conference on said paper. I am enrolled in a masters program, I know I want to be a professor/researcher and do a PhD and the whole shebang. But with the conference, listening to everyone’s presentations on small details of hypothetical scenarios ... I am just left thinking, is any of this important? Why am I spending my time on this, when the world is going to crap? I don’t think that I dislike research... I think that I need to move to another field that is a little more applied and tied to real world problems. Has anyone else felt this way before? Would love to hear stories. Maybe I just depressed at the pandemic/climate change/political environment etc. Edit: rip title, “MY work”", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Have you read Andrew Kay's essay called \"Fanning the Flames While the Humanities Burn\"? From your post it doesn't sound like you're in the humanities, but in this essay Kay talks at length about the seeming frivolity of hyper-niche research that doesn't seem to affect anyone else and the commiserate disheartenment. It's definitely worth a read, even if you're not in the humanities. Edit: The Kay article is actually called \"Academy's Extinction Event.\" \"Fanning the Flames\" is a response to it by Anastasia Berg. They're both worth a read, but I wanted to make sure I was referencing the correct piece.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I work seems pointless I recently graduated undergrad. I was super diligent and got to publish my senior thesis to a conference. I just recently spoke at a conference on said paper. I am enrolled in a masters program, I know I want to be a professor/researcher and do a PhD and the whole shebang. But with the conference, listening to everyone’s presentations on small details of hypothetical scenarios ... I am just left thinking, is any of this important? Why am I spending my time on this, when the world is going to crap? I don’t think that I dislike research... I think that I need to move to another field that is a little more applied and tied to real world problems. Has anyone else felt this way before? Would love to hear stories. Maybe I just depressed at the pandemic/climate change/political environment etc. Edit: rip title, “MY work”", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Use your position as an academic to organize and agitate for societal change.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I work seems pointless I recently graduated undergrad. I was super diligent and got to publish my senior thesis to a conference. I just recently spoke at a conference on said paper. I am enrolled in a masters program, I know I want to be a professor/researcher and do a PhD and the whole shebang. But with the conference, listening to everyone’s presentations on small details of hypothetical scenarios ... I am just left thinking, is any of this important? Why am I spending my time on this, when the world is going to crap? I don’t think that I dislike research... I think that I need to move to another field that is a little more applied and tied to real world problems. Has anyone else felt this way before? Would love to hear stories. Maybe I just depressed at the pandemic/climate change/political environment etc. Edit: rip title, “MY work”", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You are coming into the world at a very strange time. There are times of stability where people focus on themselves, and times of instability where their attention is necessarily turned outwards to the systems that surround them. America has been in the former basically for the entirety of our parents generation so they’ve given us a set of expectations for life that were made for a static prosperous time. The world we are prepared for is not the world as it is. We will need to deal with much more complex and difficult and borderline dangerous work than they ever had to face. Do not hold yourself to their ambitions, they are just telling you what they understand of their world, however their entire model and understanding has been shown to be obsolete. For your own sake, persist with your career, you’re gonna need it in the times ahead. I would offer a suggestion, that your source of discomfort is not that you are focused on your work, but that you sense you need to gain an awareness of what’s going on with the world. I think there are many people that feel this way right now. Please continue to explore your understanding of the world, I suggest History to give you perspective that we are not alone as people in the distant past have been in our shoes, make your own opinions, and think of ways you might influence the system for good. All while you simultaneously do your work and I assure you will feel more complete. Your feelings are 100% valid, not because your work is unimportant but because current events have become more important relatively. Our parents generation can't help us as they have no perspective. Look to our grandparents or great-grandparents generation for guidance on how to exist and be happy in a troubled world. All you need to be happy in life is friends, food and shelter, we still live in good times, we are just restless because we are pushed to ridiculous standards. You're very lucky to have made it into a graduate program, there are many which are not giving funding for 2020-2021 cycle. This is a great time to be in a graduate program, as normally the downside of graduate school is the opportunity cost of working in the prosperous industry job market. So on the bright side, you're not missing out on anything.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I work seems pointless I recently graduated undergrad. I was super diligent and got to publish my senior thesis to a conference. I just recently spoke at a conference on said paper. I am enrolled in a masters program, I know I want to be a professor/researcher and do a PhD and the whole shebang. But with the conference, listening to everyone’s presentations on small details of hypothetical scenarios ... I am just left thinking, is any of this important? Why am I spending my time on this, when the world is going to crap? I don’t think that I dislike research... I think that I need to move to another field that is a little more applied and tied to real world problems. Has anyone else felt this way before? Would love to hear stories. Maybe I just depressed at the pandemic/climate change/political environment etc. Edit: rip title, “MY work”", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That isn't just your field. Research is incremental, the more you understand how those small steps translate into large understandings, the sooner you can see the importance in your own small steps. If you're looking for big findings, go back in time, not to a different program.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I work seems pointless I recently graduated undergrad. I was super diligent and got to publish my senior thesis to a conference. I just recently spoke at a conference on said paper. I am enrolled in a masters program, I know I want to be a professor/researcher and do a PhD and the whole shebang. But with the conference, listening to everyone’s presentations on small details of hypothetical scenarios ... I am just left thinking, is any of this important? Why am I spending my time on this, when the world is going to crap? I don’t think that I dislike research... I think that I need to move to another field that is a little more applied and tied to real world problems. Has anyone else felt this way before? Would love to hear stories. Maybe I just depressed at the pandemic/climate change/political environment etc. Edit: rip title, “MY work”", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You are coming into the world at a very strange time. There are times of stability where people focus on themselves, and times of instability where their attention is necessarily turned outwards to the systems that surround them. America has been in the former basically for the entirety of our parents generation so they’ve given us a set of expectations for life that were made for a static prosperous time. The world we are prepared for is not the world as it is. We will need to deal with much more complex and difficult and borderline dangerous work than they ever had to face. Do not hold yourself to their ambitions, they are just telling you what they understand of their world, however their entire model and understanding has been shown to be obsolete. For your own sake, persist with your career, you’re gonna need it in the times ahead. I would offer a suggestion, that your source of discomfort is not that you are focused on your work, but that you sense you need to gain an awareness of what’s going on with the world. I think there are many people that feel this way right now. Please continue to explore your understanding of the world, I suggest History to give you perspective that we are not alone as people in the distant past have been in our shoes, make your own opinions, and think of ways you might influence the system for good. All while you simultaneously do your work and I assure you will feel more complete. Your feelings are 100% valid, not because your work is unimportant but because current events have become more important relatively. Our parents generation can't help us as they have no perspective. Look to our grandparents or great-grandparents generation for guidance on how to exist and be happy in a troubled world. All you need to be happy in life is friends, food and shelter, we still live in good times, we are just restless because we are pushed to ridiculous standards. You're very lucky to have made it into a graduate program, there are many which are not giving funding for 2020-2021 cycle. This is a great time to be in a graduate program, as normally the downside of graduate school is the opportunity cost of working in the prosperous industry job market. So on the bright side, you're not missing out on anything.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Thanks for your support, r/AskAcademia Just have to share that I successfully defended a PhD in deep-sea microbial ecology today. I wanted to say thanks to this community for keeping me grounded and sane over the last year or so. This sub has been my resource for many things including planning my next steps. So thanks y’all for sharing your experiences and expertise.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "🏆", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Thanks for your support, r/AskAcademia Just have to share that I successfully defended a PhD in deep-sea microbial ecology today. I wanted to say thanks to this community for keeping me grounded and sane over the last year or so. This sub has been my resource for many things including planning my next steps. So thanks y’all for sharing your experiences and expertise.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "\\> keeping me grounded and sane Dunno which sub you’ve been browsing m8 but it sure ain’t this one", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Pregnant during PhD program Hi everyone! I just found out that I’m pregnant. My husband and I are over the moon, but the anxiety is starting to creep up on me. I am finishing up my second year of my PhD program in biology and the baby will be due in the beginning/middle of my third year. Quals are at the end of the third year. I am really lucky and I have a really supportive PI who cares about his students, but I’m still scared about how he is going to handle it. I’m also scared about how I will handle being a mom and a grad student. I guess I’m just asking anyone who has gone through something like this for advice. What can I expect? And a bit of reassurance that you all made it through. Thanks!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I've been on the other side of this, in that my mom had me when she was in grad school. She's been a great mom and successful biologist the whole way. She sure didn't plan to have me the week before her first semester exams, and it was terrible financially for my parents to have a baby on a grad school stipend. But from my perspective she balanced her time really well and I never felt neglected. And I've always been proud to have scientist for a mom. I'm sure there were difficulties. I know she was one of two women in her program (this was the 90's) and one of her professors was very rude about her being pregnant, as if she didn't belong there. Hopefully now you will have more support. I know my grad school has a group specifically for parents, and I've seen plenty of pregnant people around wet labs. And there's no shortage of successful male scientists who have many children. My mom said something like, maybe it wasn't a great time to have a baby, but there never has been a perfect time since. So she's glad she had me then, rather than waiting for the perfect time that never comes.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Pregnant during PhD program Hi everyone! I just found out that I’m pregnant. My husband and I are over the moon, but the anxiety is starting to creep up on me. I am finishing up my second year of my PhD program in biology and the baby will be due in the beginning/middle of my third year. Quals are at the end of the third year. I am really lucky and I have a really supportive PI who cares about his students, but I’m still scared about how he is going to handle it. I’m also scared about how I will handle being a mom and a grad student. I guess I’m just asking anyone who has gone through something like this for advice. What can I expect? And a bit of reassurance that you all made it through. Thanks!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Congratulations! I actually think that on the whole academia trajectory, having a baby in graduate school is the very best time. You have a degree of flexibility around your work that is unlike most other jobs. The only downside is the money -- it can be hard to afford childcare and an extra bedroom. Some wise words from Ruth Bader Ginsburg, which I wholeheartedly agree with: &#x200B; >*\"Work-life balance was a term not yet coined in the years my children were young; it is aptly descriptive of the time distribution I experienced. My success in law school, I have no doubt, was in large measure because of baby Jane. I attended classes and studied diligently until 4 in the afternoon; the next hours were Jane's time, spent at the park, playing silly games or singing funny songs, reading picture books and A. A. Milne poems, and bathing and feeding her. After Jane's bedtime, I returned to the law books with renewed will. Each part of my life provided respite from the other and gave me a sense of proportion that classmates trained only on law studies lacked.\"*", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Pregnant during PhD program Hi everyone! I just found out that I’m pregnant. My husband and I are over the moon, but the anxiety is starting to creep up on me. I am finishing up my second year of my PhD program in biology and the baby will be due in the beginning/middle of my third year. Quals are at the end of the third year. I am really lucky and I have a really supportive PI who cares about his students, but I’m still scared about how he is going to handle it. I’m also scared about how I will handle being a mom and a grad student. I guess I’m just asking anyone who has gone through something like this for advice. What can I expect? And a bit of reassurance that you all made it through. Thanks!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "My PhD \"classmate\" is now pregnant with second time during the PhD, and she is doing more-or-less fine. Her firstborn became something like \"department child\". I am not so qualified to give any advice (it is hart to be a sigle mother when you are childless man)... but our uni. is supportive to mothers, you could have tree years of maternaly leave and it wont affect your scholarship in any way, your positon will remain untouched, and there is a state guaratee financial support during pregnancy... so she is doing good now and she plan to finish the thesis before the birth (hope she will finish :) ) So it is not imposible to be pregnant during the PhD", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Pregnant during PhD program Hi everyone! I just found out that I’m pregnant. My husband and I are over the moon, but the anxiety is starting to creep up on me. I am finishing up my second year of my PhD program in biology and the baby will be due in the beginning/middle of my third year. Quals are at the end of the third year. I am really lucky and I have a really supportive PI who cares about his students, but I’m still scared about how he is going to handle it. I’m also scared about how I will handle being a mom and a grad student. I guess I’m just asking anyone who has gone through something like this for advice. What can I expect? And a bit of reassurance that you all made it through. Thanks!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Congratulations! I actually think that on the whole academia trajectory, having a baby in graduate school is the very best time. You have a degree of flexibility around your work that is unlike most other jobs. The only downside is the money -- it can be hard to afford childcare and an extra bedroom. Some wise words from Ruth Bader Ginsburg, which I wholeheartedly agree with: &#x200B; >*\"Work-life balance was a term not yet coined in the years my children were young; it is aptly descriptive of the time distribution I experienced. My success in law school, I have no doubt, was in large measure because of baby Jane. I attended classes and studied diligently until 4 in the afternoon; the next hours were Jane's time, spent at the park, playing silly games or singing funny songs, reading picture books and A. A. Milne poems, and bathing and feeding her. After Jane's bedtime, I returned to the law books with renewed will. Each part of my life provided respite from the other and gave me a sense of proportion that classmates trained only on law studies lacked.\"*", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Pregnant during PhD program Hi everyone! I just found out that I’m pregnant. My husband and I are over the moon, but the anxiety is starting to creep up on me. I am finishing up my second year of my PhD program in biology and the baby will be due in the beginning/middle of my third year. Quals are at the end of the third year. I am really lucky and I have a really supportive PI who cares about his students, but I’m still scared about how he is going to handle it. I’m also scared about how I will handle being a mom and a grad student. I guess I’m just asking anyone who has gone through something like this for advice. What can I expect? And a bit of reassurance that you all made it through. Thanks!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Congratulations to the new addition to your family! Our first was born during the last year of my PhD, while I was writing my dissertation. You figure out how to make it work -- sometimes that meant rocking him in his stroller so he wouldn't cry too much while I took scans in the library, or sitting up a pack-and-play in my lab and working off-hours. I don't have much advice other than to have the perspective that you are an adult making an important life decision -- you don't have to ask anyone's permission, and an advisor who reacts negatively to that isn't an advisor you want. When we found out we were pregnant, I let everyone know that (after some parental leave) I would be working weird hours, which would mean my communication would shift away from in-person and towards email, Slack, etc. I gave junior students and trainees my phone number, since I would no longer be as accessible. I still fulfilled my obligations (teaching etc) but with a different schedule, and different priorities. To be honest, I actually accomplished a lot more after my first was born, because I learned to use the research time I did have (which was reduced to be sure) more efficiently. Before I may have been working a lot more hours, but a lot of that time was poorly used. Don't expect to be able to work as many hours, but do plan on using the hours you do have more efficiently. During the first several months, little one will be sleeping most of time though (except of course at night when you are trying to sleep 😉) Now, I'm in my 2nd year of postdoc. Our second was born during my first year, and I've never been more productive, even though some days, between the toddler and 6mo-old, I only work a few hours. I think as long as the PI is seeing productivity, they're typically fine with some accommodations or weird working schedule. It took some time to get used to being more efficient (and learning to say \"no\", learning to delegate to collaborators, etc), but it will be worth it.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Pregnant during PhD program Hi everyone! I just found out that I’m pregnant. My husband and I are over the moon, but the anxiety is starting to creep up on me. I am finishing up my second year of my PhD program in biology and the baby will be due in the beginning/middle of my third year. Quals are at the end of the third year. I am really lucky and I have a really supportive PI who cares about his students, but I’m still scared about how he is going to handle it. I’m also scared about how I will handle being a mom and a grad student. I guess I’m just asking anyone who has gone through something like this for advice. What can I expect? And a bit of reassurance that you all made it through. Thanks!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Congratulations! I actually think that on the whole academia trajectory, having a baby in graduate school is the very best time. You have a degree of flexibility around your work that is unlike most other jobs. The only downside is the money -- it can be hard to afford childcare and an extra bedroom. Some wise words from Ruth Bader Ginsburg, which I wholeheartedly agree with: &#x200B; >*\"Work-life balance was a term not yet coined in the years my children were young; it is aptly descriptive of the time distribution I experienced. My success in law school, I have no doubt, was in large measure because of baby Jane. I attended classes and studied diligently until 4 in the afternoon; the next hours were Jane's time, spent at the park, playing silly games or singing funny songs, reading picture books and A. A. Milne poems, and bathing and feeding her. After Jane's bedtime, I returned to the law books with renewed will. Each part of my life provided respite from the other and gave me a sense of proportion that classmates trained only on law studies lacked.\"*", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Pregnant during PhD program Hi everyone! I just found out that I’m pregnant. My husband and I are over the moon, but the anxiety is starting to creep up on me. I am finishing up my second year of my PhD program in biology and the baby will be due in the beginning/middle of my third year. Quals are at the end of the third year. I am really lucky and I have a really supportive PI who cares about his students, but I’m still scared about how he is going to handle it. I’m also scared about how I will handle being a mom and a grad student. I guess I’m just asking anyone who has gone through something like this for advice. What can I expect? And a bit of reassurance that you all made it through. Thanks!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I am in the final push of my PhD (social sciences) and I had 2 kids during my PhD. I live in Canada where it is normal to take 1 year of parental leave for each child, and I did qualify for some financial support. Also I got some discount for on-camps childcare (still over $1000/month). Having 2 little kids during COVID was pretty awful and isolating, but otherwise I really appreciated the flexibility. For me, I knew I wanted to have kids, so part of the equation was also my age, my partner’s age, and knowing that it was kinda “now or never.” I guess it was like an “ask questions later” type thing - I’m having kids, so how do I make this work? I did have to lower my expectations a LOT. The amount of things I could get done on my to-do list dropped dramatically after having kid #1, and plummeted after kid #2. I beat myself up for a long time about that, but I am coming to terms with it. Also, I may not win any awards for my dissertation, but I’m also okay with that too. I want a balanced life, and the PhD is part of it. YMMD. Edited to add: Congrats!! I remember feeling nervous to tell my supervisors about the pregnancy out of fear of “disappointing” them, and one supervisor did say something like “if you’re not a parent, your thesis is your baby; now you’ll have a real baby, and the thesis is second fiddle” or something 🤷🏻‍♀️ but in all honesty they didn’t care too much, and in the end it’s YOUR life!! ❤️", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Pregnant during PhD program Hi everyone! I just found out that I’m pregnant. My husband and I are over the moon, but the anxiety is starting to creep up on me. I am finishing up my second year of my PhD program in biology and the baby will be due in the beginning/middle of my third year. Quals are at the end of the third year. I am really lucky and I have a really supportive PI who cares about his students, but I’m still scared about how he is going to handle it. I’m also scared about how I will handle being a mom and a grad student. I guess I’m just asking anyone who has gone through something like this for advice. What can I expect? And a bit of reassurance that you all made it through. Thanks!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thanks everyone. This thread has made me feel better like I don’t have to choose between a family and a career path PhD", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Pregnant during PhD program Hi everyone! I just found out that I’m pregnant. My husband and I are over the moon, but the anxiety is starting to creep up on me. I am finishing up my second year of my PhD program in biology and the baby will be due in the beginning/middle of my third year. Quals are at the end of the third year. I am really lucky and I have a really supportive PI who cares about his students, but I’m still scared about how he is going to handle it. I’m also scared about how I will handle being a mom and a grad student. I guess I’m just asking anyone who has gone through something like this for advice. What can I expect? And a bit of reassurance that you all made it through. Thanks!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I got pregnant while doing coursework for my Ph.D. (I call him my social theory baby), and it was fine. I had a rough semester ending (since he was born in November), but things ended up okay. The most challenging part was definitely writing my dissertation, and I needed help from family and my partner in order to manage it. You can do it!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Pregnant during PhD program Hi everyone! I just found out that I’m pregnant. My husband and I are over the moon, but the anxiety is starting to creep up on me. I am finishing up my second year of my PhD program in biology and the baby will be due in the beginning/middle of my third year. Quals are at the end of the third year. I am really lucky and I have a really supportive PI who cares about his students, but I’m still scared about how he is going to handle it. I’m also scared about how I will handle being a mom and a grad student. I guess I’m just asking anyone who has gone through something like this for advice. What can I expect? And a bit of reassurance that you all made it through. Thanks!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thanks everyone. This thread has made me feel better like I don’t have to choose between a family and a career path PhD", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I got an interview for my dream postdoc Somehow, I have managed to get an interview for my dream postdoc. It's in a location I have always dreamed of living in. It's at a renowned research institution under the supervision of an incredible and famous researcher. It's a position I don't feel that I am qualified for but yet somehow here I am. There are two positions open. And 6 people being interviewed. It is all too surreal. We went from me applying almost as a joke since I am nowhere near the caliber of the research that goes on there to finding out I got an interview to finding out that there's a decent chance of being successful. But now, I am even more stressed. I feel I am going to botch the interview and I will feel even worse because it was such a small hiring pool. I want to do well and have been practicing answering interview questions and reading up on the project topic for the last week. But I still feel like it won't be enough. How do I ace the interview and go on to live my dream position?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I would sit quietly and really imagine my day to day life in that job. How will I feel? What will I contribute? Who will I work with? How will I collaborate with them? Where will I live? What will I eat? I think too often candidates practice expressing the highlights of the work they have already done in the past, but the interviewer needs to know what the candidate will do in the future, in the interviewer's future. Not only that, but what the candidate will do must be what the interviewer needs. So, they must have a shared vision of the future. They both have to imagine they will work well together and be productive before the interviewer can offer the job to that candidate. Also, the candidate must listen attentively. Sometimes an interviewer will explain the project and/or specific needs he requires of the postdoc only during the interview. This information is not written in the advertisement so the candidate has no way to prepare for it. Keep your wits about you.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I got an interview for my dream postdoc Somehow, I have managed to get an interview for my dream postdoc. It's in a location I have always dreamed of living in. It's at a renowned research institution under the supervision of an incredible and famous researcher. It's a position I don't feel that I am qualified for but yet somehow here I am. There are two positions open. And 6 people being interviewed. It is all too surreal. We went from me applying almost as a joke since I am nowhere near the caliber of the research that goes on there to finding out I got an interview to finding out that there's a decent chance of being successful. But now, I am even more stressed. I feel I am going to botch the interview and I will feel even worse because it was such a small hiring pool. I want to do well and have been practicing answering interview questions and reading up on the project topic for the last week. But I still feel like it won't be enough. How do I ace the interview and go on to live my dream position?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I agree with everyone’s suggestions here. I wanted to provided one more counter perspective that no one has mentioned yet. Sounds like you’re suffering imposter’s syndrome. Easier said than done, but as soon as you shake that feeling and start realizing your value, the less tense and more free you’ll feel to talk about your passion for the science. Just remember, even if you don’t get this exact position there are so many potential positions that can offer just as auspicious of an opportunity. If you’ve already got this far and got this level of interest, then that means you’ll inevitably land a nice position somewhere. Once you free yourself of the notion that this is do or die, it will liberate you to be more yourself during the interview. You’ll begin to focus on what you think/feel rather than saying what you think they want to hear (which is a terrible trap to fall into).", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Really embarrassed after being denied an extension... Don't know how to stay on my professor's good graces? Hi everyone, I hope I am following all Sub rules. I just got denied an extension on a major assignment that was due today and I kind of just wanted to hear some advice on how other students/academics manage feelings of embarrassment associated with failure or disappointing others. I'd also like to hear from profs who might have heard from students like me and responded in similar ways to mine. You can all be as honest as possible - please feel free to chastise me if you feel that it is necessary in this case. I had to move back in with my grandparents during the pandemic to take care of them and have been having trouble with school ever since. Nothing I haven't been able to handle, thankfully. However, after they got their vaccines on Thursday, they fell unwell and I've been pressed for time as I've managed caring for them, finishing this paper, and working. I reached out to my instructor on Friday morning with a brief email asking for an extension on this assignment due to trouble at home, apologizing profusely. He only just got back to me with a no and a suggestion to see a therapist for my home troubles. He might have meant well with the suggestion, but I cannot help but feel a little ashamed. I'm worried I have lost good standing with him and I am worried I have offended him. I hope he does not think I lied. I don't know whether I should respond with an apology, but I don't know what to apologize for? Anyways, I may just be overthinking this... Pandemic stress... Thank you for your time nonetheless.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You are probably overthinking. He denied your request for an extension but the suggestion that therapy may be helpful was likely genuine. Nothing to feel ashamed about helping your grandparents when they were unwell - your professor may even have a higher opinion of your character for doing so. Hang in there!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Really embarrassed after being denied an extension... Don't know how to stay on my professor's good graces? Hi everyone, I hope I am following all Sub rules. I just got denied an extension on a major assignment that was due today and I kind of just wanted to hear some advice on how other students/academics manage feelings of embarrassment associated with failure or disappointing others. I'd also like to hear from profs who might have heard from students like me and responded in similar ways to mine. You can all be as honest as possible - please feel free to chastise me if you feel that it is necessary in this case. I had to move back in with my grandparents during the pandemic to take care of them and have been having trouble with school ever since. Nothing I haven't been able to handle, thankfully. However, after they got their vaccines on Thursday, they fell unwell and I've been pressed for time as I've managed caring for them, finishing this paper, and working. I reached out to my instructor on Friday morning with a brief email asking for an extension on this assignment due to trouble at home, apologizing profusely. He only just got back to me with a no and a suggestion to see a therapist for my home troubles. He might have meant well with the suggestion, but I cannot help but feel a little ashamed. I'm worried I have lost good standing with him and I am worried I have offended him. I hope he does not think I lied. I don't know whether I should respond with an apology, but I don't know what to apologize for? Anyways, I may just be overthinking this... Pandemic stress... Thank you for your time nonetheless.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This sounds like a stressful situation, and I'm sorry that you are experiencing it. I can't speak for your specific professor, but I do not think it's likely that you harmed your good standing. In general, as long as you approach a request for an extension respectfully (e.g., it's not an indignant demand), you should be fine. A professor may not give an extension for a number of reasons (e.g., they do not believe it would be fair to other students who might also be struggling, they do not provide extensions except with a Dean's note, it was too short of notice, etc.), but it doesn't mean that they think ill of you for asking for one. My advice to you is to do what you can to submit the best work you can today. Or, if the late penalty is relatively light (e.g., 10%) and you think having an extra day will help you to have a substantially better assignment, go ahead and take a penalty if you need to. It sucks when circumstances beyond your control affect your grade in a class. Ultimately, you can only do your best, and it is okay if your best today is not quite as good as your best under better circumstances. Good luck.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Really embarrassed after being denied an extension... Don't know how to stay on my professor's good graces? Hi everyone, I hope I am following all Sub rules. I just got denied an extension on a major assignment that was due today and I kind of just wanted to hear some advice on how other students/academics manage feelings of embarrassment associated with failure or disappointing others. I'd also like to hear from profs who might have heard from students like me and responded in similar ways to mine. You can all be as honest as possible - please feel free to chastise me if you feel that it is necessary in this case. I had to move back in with my grandparents during the pandemic to take care of them and have been having trouble with school ever since. Nothing I haven't been able to handle, thankfully. However, after they got their vaccines on Thursday, they fell unwell and I've been pressed for time as I've managed caring for them, finishing this paper, and working. I reached out to my instructor on Friday morning with a brief email asking for an extension on this assignment due to trouble at home, apologizing profusely. He only just got back to me with a no and a suggestion to see a therapist for my home troubles. He might have meant well with the suggestion, but I cannot help but feel a little ashamed. I'm worried I have lost good standing with him and I am worried I have offended him. I hope he does not think I lied. I don't know whether I should respond with an apology, but I don't know what to apologize for? Anyways, I may just be overthinking this... Pandemic stress... Thank you for your time nonetheless.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Here are my thoughts as a professor: I am constantly trying to balance grace for extenuating circumstances with fairness to the students who are too afraid to ask for extension or who turn in work that isn't their best, because they honor deadlines. I absolutely detest having to evaluate a student's circumstances. What's \"bad enough\" for one student to need an extension might not be to another. I don't think anyone should have to send out health info (and students do - both their own and others!). I work at a school with a lot of first generation students, and their families often don't understand what college work looks like, and why their student is putting down boundaries. I literally don't feel like it's my job to figure out what's \"bad enough,\" but I also need to have some semblance of deadlines for my own sanity. Furthermore, research tells us that a professor (or other authority figure) will never be completely fair in granting extensions and grace. We all have unconscious biases about race, gender, family situation, excuses, etc. These biases may shape our responses in ways we're not even aware of. Finally, I often find myself less willing to be flexible when I have my own stressors. For example, I (the professor) had a death in the family the week before finals. I scheduled myself time to grade everyone's papers before I went to the funeral. So when student asked for an extension, I literally did not know when I'd have time to grade it in a timely manner. I say all of this to put another perspective here: professors are human. Some are shitty people, some are great people, most are in between. Their own lives will impact their responses. The balance between fairness and grace often feels impossible for us - and most of us don't want to have to judge individual life circumstances. It's rarely personal on a conscious level - I doubt your professor is angry at you as an individual, and no apology is necessary. It's part of the job. Finally, my institution recommends that we refer students to the counseling center because professors are not therapists (although I am a therapist on the side, I can't be my students' therapist!). Therapy can be a good and helpful thing, and your prof likely sees this as something he can't handle, so he's referring you to someone who can help you more.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Really embarrassed after being denied an extension... Don't know how to stay on my professor's good graces? Hi everyone, I hope I am following all Sub rules. I just got denied an extension on a major assignment that was due today and I kind of just wanted to hear some advice on how other students/academics manage feelings of embarrassment associated with failure or disappointing others. I'd also like to hear from profs who might have heard from students like me and responded in similar ways to mine. You can all be as honest as possible - please feel free to chastise me if you feel that it is necessary in this case. I had to move back in with my grandparents during the pandemic to take care of them and have been having trouble with school ever since. Nothing I haven't been able to handle, thankfully. However, after they got their vaccines on Thursday, they fell unwell and I've been pressed for time as I've managed caring for them, finishing this paper, and working. I reached out to my instructor on Friday morning with a brief email asking for an extension on this assignment due to trouble at home, apologizing profusely. He only just got back to me with a no and a suggestion to see a therapist for my home troubles. He might have meant well with the suggestion, but I cannot help but feel a little ashamed. I'm worried I have lost good standing with him and I am worried I have offended him. I hope he does not think I lied. I don't know whether I should respond with an apology, but I don't know what to apologize for? Anyways, I may just be overthinking this... Pandemic stress... Thank you for your time nonetheless.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Also, as a professor and mental health professional (I'm a clinical psychologist, and teach psychology), I'm concerned about all the responses that say it's out of line for a professor to refer a student to counseling. 99% of faculty have no mental health training. They can't be the students' therapists. If they think there is something going on that is out of their league, it's appropriate (and best practice!) to refer the student politely and respectfully to a counselor. This is not an insult. In fact, acting like it's taboo to refer to counseling *increases the stigma around mental health support*. Counseling should be a normalized part of coping with difficult situations - particularly in college where there's often a free or low-cost on-campus resource that's easy to access.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Really embarrassed after being denied an extension... Don't know how to stay on my professor's good graces? Hi everyone, I hope I am following all Sub rules. I just got denied an extension on a major assignment that was due today and I kind of just wanted to hear some advice on how other students/academics manage feelings of embarrassment associated with failure or disappointing others. I'd also like to hear from profs who might have heard from students like me and responded in similar ways to mine. You can all be as honest as possible - please feel free to chastise me if you feel that it is necessary in this case. I had to move back in with my grandparents during the pandemic to take care of them and have been having trouble with school ever since. Nothing I haven't been able to handle, thankfully. However, after they got their vaccines on Thursday, they fell unwell and I've been pressed for time as I've managed caring for them, finishing this paper, and working. I reached out to my instructor on Friday morning with a brief email asking for an extension on this assignment due to trouble at home, apologizing profusely. He only just got back to me with a no and a suggestion to see a therapist for my home troubles. He might have meant well with the suggestion, but I cannot help but feel a little ashamed. I'm worried I have lost good standing with him and I am worried I have offended him. I hope he does not think I lied. I don't know whether I should respond with an apology, but I don't know what to apologize for? Anyways, I may just be overthinking this... Pandemic stress... Thank you for your time nonetheless.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uhhhhh Friday for a paper due Monday is really short notice. He should've accommodated you if possible, but it may not be possible - end of semester, grades are due, etc. I would have tried the dean if you had more time, but at this point I'd just finish the assignment and submit. It's honestly not a big deal.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Really embarrassed after being denied an extension... Don't know how to stay on my professor's good graces? Hi everyone, I hope I am following all Sub rules. I just got denied an extension on a major assignment that was due today and I kind of just wanted to hear some advice on how other students/academics manage feelings of embarrassment associated with failure or disappointing others. I'd also like to hear from profs who might have heard from students like me and responded in similar ways to mine. You can all be as honest as possible - please feel free to chastise me if you feel that it is necessary in this case. I had to move back in with my grandparents during the pandemic to take care of them and have been having trouble with school ever since. Nothing I haven't been able to handle, thankfully. However, after they got their vaccines on Thursday, they fell unwell and I've been pressed for time as I've managed caring for them, finishing this paper, and working. I reached out to my instructor on Friday morning with a brief email asking for an extension on this assignment due to trouble at home, apologizing profusely. He only just got back to me with a no and a suggestion to see a therapist for my home troubles. He might have meant well with the suggestion, but I cannot help but feel a little ashamed. I'm worried I have lost good standing with him and I am worried I have offended him. I hope he does not think I lied. I don't know whether I should respond with an apology, but I don't know what to apologize for? Anyways, I may just be overthinking this... Pandemic stress... Thank you for your time nonetheless.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Also, as a professor and mental health professional (I'm a clinical psychologist, and teach psychology), I'm concerned about all the responses that say it's out of line for a professor to refer a student to counseling. 99% of faculty have no mental health training. They can't be the students' therapists. If they think there is something going on that is out of their league, it's appropriate (and best practice!) to refer the student politely and respectfully to a counselor. This is not an insult. In fact, acting like it's taboo to refer to counseling *increases the stigma around mental health support*. Counseling should be a normalized part of coping with difficult situations - particularly in college where there's often a free or low-cost on-campus resource that's easy to access.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Really embarrassed after being denied an extension... Don't know how to stay on my professor's good graces? Hi everyone, I hope I am following all Sub rules. I just got denied an extension on a major assignment that was due today and I kind of just wanted to hear some advice on how other students/academics manage feelings of embarrassment associated with failure or disappointing others. I'd also like to hear from profs who might have heard from students like me and responded in similar ways to mine. You can all be as honest as possible - please feel free to chastise me if you feel that it is necessary in this case. I had to move back in with my grandparents during the pandemic to take care of them and have been having trouble with school ever since. Nothing I haven't been able to handle, thankfully. However, after they got their vaccines on Thursday, they fell unwell and I've been pressed for time as I've managed caring for them, finishing this paper, and working. I reached out to my instructor on Friday morning with a brief email asking for an extension on this assignment due to trouble at home, apologizing profusely. He only just got back to me with a no and a suggestion to see a therapist for my home troubles. He might have meant well with the suggestion, but I cannot help but feel a little ashamed. I'm worried I have lost good standing with him and I am worried I have offended him. I hope he does not think I lied. I don't know whether I should respond with an apology, but I don't know what to apologize for? Anyways, I may just be overthinking this... Pandemic stress... Thank you for your time nonetheless.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "One thing that I left out of my initial comment; I have never taken a request from a student personally. What I have done is reflect on the demands of the course; does the content meet the expected performance, is there sufficient time for mastery, etc. I welcome the feedback, questions from students because it improves experience and mastery", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Really embarrassed after being denied an extension... Don't know how to stay on my professor's good graces? Hi everyone, I hope I am following all Sub rules. I just got denied an extension on a major assignment that was due today and I kind of just wanted to hear some advice on how other students/academics manage feelings of embarrassment associated with failure or disappointing others. I'd also like to hear from profs who might have heard from students like me and responded in similar ways to mine. You can all be as honest as possible - please feel free to chastise me if you feel that it is necessary in this case. I had to move back in with my grandparents during the pandemic to take care of them and have been having trouble with school ever since. Nothing I haven't been able to handle, thankfully. However, after they got their vaccines on Thursday, they fell unwell and I've been pressed for time as I've managed caring for them, finishing this paper, and working. I reached out to my instructor on Friday morning with a brief email asking for an extension on this assignment due to trouble at home, apologizing profusely. He only just got back to me with a no and a suggestion to see a therapist for my home troubles. He might have meant well with the suggestion, but I cannot help but feel a little ashamed. I'm worried I have lost good standing with him and I am worried I have offended him. I hope he does not think I lied. I don't know whether I should respond with an apology, but I don't know what to apologize for? Anyways, I may just be overthinking this... Pandemic stress... Thank you for your time nonetheless.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Also, as a professor and mental health professional (I'm a clinical psychologist, and teach psychology), I'm concerned about all the responses that say it's out of line for a professor to refer a student to counseling. 99% of faculty have no mental health training. They can't be the students' therapists. If they think there is something going on that is out of their league, it's appropriate (and best practice!) to refer the student politely and respectfully to a counselor. This is not an insult. In fact, acting like it's taboo to refer to counseling *increases the stigma around mental health support*. Counseling should be a normalized part of coping with difficult situations - particularly in college where there's often a free or low-cost on-campus resource that's easy to access.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Really embarrassed after being denied an extension... Don't know how to stay on my professor's good graces? Hi everyone, I hope I am following all Sub rules. I just got denied an extension on a major assignment that was due today and I kind of just wanted to hear some advice on how other students/academics manage feelings of embarrassment associated with failure or disappointing others. I'd also like to hear from profs who might have heard from students like me and responded in similar ways to mine. You can all be as honest as possible - please feel free to chastise me if you feel that it is necessary in this case. I had to move back in with my grandparents during the pandemic to take care of them and have been having trouble with school ever since. Nothing I haven't been able to handle, thankfully. However, after they got their vaccines on Thursday, they fell unwell and I've been pressed for time as I've managed caring for them, finishing this paper, and working. I reached out to my instructor on Friday morning with a brief email asking for an extension on this assignment due to trouble at home, apologizing profusely. He only just got back to me with a no and a suggestion to see a therapist for my home troubles. He might have meant well with the suggestion, but I cannot help but feel a little ashamed. I'm worried I have lost good standing with him and I am worried I have offended him. I hope he does not think I lied. I don't know whether I should respond with an apology, but I don't know what to apologize for? Anyways, I may just be overthinking this... Pandemic stress... Thank you for your time nonetheless.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uhhhhh Friday for a paper due Monday is really short notice. He should've accommodated you if possible, but it may not be possible - end of semester, grades are due, etc. I would have tried the dean if you had more time, but at this point I'd just finish the assignment and submit. It's honestly not a big deal.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Really embarrassed after being denied an extension... Don't know how to stay on my professor's good graces? Hi everyone, I hope I am following all Sub rules. I just got denied an extension on a major assignment that was due today and I kind of just wanted to hear some advice on how other students/academics manage feelings of embarrassment associated with failure or disappointing others. I'd also like to hear from profs who might have heard from students like me and responded in similar ways to mine. You can all be as honest as possible - please feel free to chastise me if you feel that it is necessary in this case. I had to move back in with my grandparents during the pandemic to take care of them and have been having trouble with school ever since. Nothing I haven't been able to handle, thankfully. However, after they got their vaccines on Thursday, they fell unwell and I've been pressed for time as I've managed caring for them, finishing this paper, and working. I reached out to my instructor on Friday morning with a brief email asking for an extension on this assignment due to trouble at home, apologizing profusely. He only just got back to me with a no and a suggestion to see a therapist for my home troubles. He might have meant well with the suggestion, but I cannot help but feel a little ashamed. I'm worried I have lost good standing with him and I am worried I have offended him. I hope he does not think I lied. I don't know whether I should respond with an apology, but I don't know what to apologize for? Anyways, I may just be overthinking this... Pandemic stress... Thank you for your time nonetheless.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Here are my thoughts as a professor: I am constantly trying to balance grace for extenuating circumstances with fairness to the students who are too afraid to ask for extension or who turn in work that isn't their best, because they honor deadlines. I absolutely detest having to evaluate a student's circumstances. What's \"bad enough\" for one student to need an extension might not be to another. I don't think anyone should have to send out health info (and students do - both their own and others!). I work at a school with a lot of first generation students, and their families often don't understand what college work looks like, and why their student is putting down boundaries. I literally don't feel like it's my job to figure out what's \"bad enough,\" but I also need to have some semblance of deadlines for my own sanity. Furthermore, research tells us that a professor (or other authority figure) will never be completely fair in granting extensions and grace. We all have unconscious biases about race, gender, family situation, excuses, etc. These biases may shape our responses in ways we're not even aware of. Finally, I often find myself less willing to be flexible when I have my own stressors. For example, I (the professor) had a death in the family the week before finals. I scheduled myself time to grade everyone's papers before I went to the funeral. So when student asked for an extension, I literally did not know when I'd have time to grade it in a timely manner. I say all of this to put another perspective here: professors are human. Some are shitty people, some are great people, most are in between. Their own lives will impact their responses. The balance between fairness and grace often feels impossible for us - and most of us don't want to have to judge individual life circumstances. It's rarely personal on a conscious level - I doubt your professor is angry at you as an individual, and no apology is necessary. It's part of the job. Finally, my institution recommends that we refer students to the counseling center because professors are not therapists (although I am a therapist on the side, I can't be my students' therapist!). Therapy can be a good and helpful thing, and your prof likely sees this as something he can't handle, so he's referring you to someone who can help you more.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What does it mean for someone to be \"good at research?\" Sorry if the title is a bit ambiguous and broad. I was chatting last night with a couple of people from my lab. One of them is a recent PhD who's a year older than me and is one of the lab's \"assets\" in the sense that he's done some good work in our field and many people look up to him. Let's call him Tom. Tom also happens to be one of those people who I would call \"pretentious\" in the sense that his usual attitude is \"I don't need people who work hard I need people who are actually good.\" Just for some background information, I'm a second semester MSCS student. I plan to applying to PhD programs abroad this fall so that when I graduate next spring I can start right away. The context of how the title of this post came to be is that Tom usually tells me things like \"among your line of batchmates (people who entered the lab the same year) A and B are going to be the ones who shine\" (I may be taking this the wrong way but the way he says it seems to imply that I'm not good enough), \"I get that you enjoy research, but you really need to ask yourself if you're actually good at it,\" etc. and last night that really got me thinking. What exactly does it mean to be \"good at research?\" I asked him the same and he didn't really give me a straightforward answer after I retorted that everybody has their own measures of success. I took a look at this Quora question that's answered by one of my favorite Quora people but I was curious what other people on this subreddit may think. My personal criteria for one to be good at research is to first and foremost actually enjoy it (e.g. enjoy the feeling of realizing how \"dumb\" one is and enjoy the process of filling in knowledge gaps). I personally don't hold \"publish a lot of papers\" as a criterion but I've noticed the majority of people do.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Some people are more 'intelligent' than others, that's just a fact. The one's who appear arrogant, pretentious and overly forward about their own ability tend to be ones who are overcompensating. To be a good researcher at your career stage: work hard, don't be afraid to make mistakes or ask silly questions, don't be too put-off by failures, listen to and learn from collaborators and senior people.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What does it mean for someone to be \"good at research?\" Sorry if the title is a bit ambiguous and broad. I was chatting last night with a couple of people from my lab. One of them is a recent PhD who's a year older than me and is one of the lab's \"assets\" in the sense that he's done some good work in our field and many people look up to him. Let's call him Tom. Tom also happens to be one of those people who I would call \"pretentious\" in the sense that his usual attitude is \"I don't need people who work hard I need people who are actually good.\" Just for some background information, I'm a second semester MSCS student. I plan to applying to PhD programs abroad this fall so that when I graduate next spring I can start right away. The context of how the title of this post came to be is that Tom usually tells me things like \"among your line of batchmates (people who entered the lab the same year) A and B are going to be the ones who shine\" (I may be taking this the wrong way but the way he says it seems to imply that I'm not good enough), \"I get that you enjoy research, but you really need to ask yourself if you're actually good at it,\" etc. and last night that really got me thinking. What exactly does it mean to be \"good at research?\" I asked him the same and he didn't really give me a straightforward answer after I retorted that everybody has their own measures of success. I took a look at this Quora question that's answered by one of my favorite Quora people but I was curious what other people on this subreddit may think. My personal criteria for one to be good at research is to first and foremost actually enjoy it (e.g. enjoy the feeling of realizing how \"dumb\" one is and enjoy the process of filling in knowledge gaps). I personally don't hold \"publish a lot of papers\" as a criterion but I've noticed the majority of people do.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "There's a few things that I think come together to make a person a strong researcher: 1. Self motivation - this one is absolutely critical. If you are a person who needs reassurance and pick-me-ups from other people at any kind of regularity to keep on with tasks, or as a clap on the back for completing a task, this is not the space for you. I absolutely encourage people to build positive workspaces where those things happen, but the reality is that on month 6 of a project when you realise everything you've been doing since Christmas has been a waste of time because of thing X, you need to be able to find it in yourself to start over and get going at it again with a modified approach/whatever. 2. Time management - When you're left to your own devices you need to be able to schedule yourself reasonably. 3. Thoughtfulness - If you are a researcher you need ot be able to critically think about what you and others are doing. What's working, what's not working, where are the gaps, what might things mean, etc etc. It's entirely possible to love doing the data gathering but never really cross that threshold. However, this is also where most of the imposter syndrome comes in, as you convince yourself that others in the field have some kind of wiley mastery over the black arts. The reality is that most of us are metaphorically grabbing a few threads and trying to tie them together. 4. Clarity - This comes with experience, but you ultimately need to reach a point where you can express your thoughts and ideas clearly and precisely. 5. Luck. It really really helps if you can be in the right place at the right time. Find yourself in an area that suddenly becomes a hot topic. Graduate at the right time for the right job to be available. Bump in to person Y at a conference and have a surprise conversation that exposes fruitful research idea z. etc etc. A final one I'll add; Be kind. There's a proportion of arseholes in academia. They're not everywhere, and hey're not even the majority. But they exist. Counter their fuckwittery. Support your colleagues. Let them help support you. Be constructive in your feedback, and be proactive in sharing your time and effort with people you trust or - as you become more senior - have influence over. Try to be a positive role model. I have forged so many successful and productive collaborations (and friendships) by saying yes to things, by sharing data, by being supportive of people trying to achieve things. It's played a part in job offers, and it's resulted in probably 70% of my publications. It's resulted in all sorts of funded travel opportunities. If you're good people to work with word gets around.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What does it mean for someone to be \"good at research?\" Sorry if the title is a bit ambiguous and broad. I was chatting last night with a couple of people from my lab. One of them is a recent PhD who's a year older than me and is one of the lab's \"assets\" in the sense that he's done some good work in our field and many people look up to him. Let's call him Tom. Tom also happens to be one of those people who I would call \"pretentious\" in the sense that his usual attitude is \"I don't need people who work hard I need people who are actually good.\" Just for some background information, I'm a second semester MSCS student. I plan to applying to PhD programs abroad this fall so that when I graduate next spring I can start right away. The context of how the title of this post came to be is that Tom usually tells me things like \"among your line of batchmates (people who entered the lab the same year) A and B are going to be the ones who shine\" (I may be taking this the wrong way but the way he says it seems to imply that I'm not good enough), \"I get that you enjoy research, but you really need to ask yourself if you're actually good at it,\" etc. and last night that really got me thinking. What exactly does it mean to be \"good at research?\" I asked him the same and he didn't really give me a straightforward answer after I retorted that everybody has their own measures of success. I took a look at this Quora question that's answered by one of my favorite Quora people but I was curious what other people on this subreddit may think. My personal criteria for one to be good at research is to first and foremost actually enjoy it (e.g. enjoy the feeling of realizing how \"dumb\" one is and enjoy the process of filling in knowledge gaps). I personally don't hold \"publish a lot of papers\" as a criterion but I've noticed the majority of people do.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How about asking another question first: \"what is good research?\" - then the answer to your question would boil down to \"an individual who is capable of consistently producing good research\". The new question will provoke a spectrum of different answers. In my field, some people value freshness of ideas, some people value methodological rigor, some people value clarity of presentation. Some people make it very far with only really excelling in one of these dimensions -- there are enough other people who value what they're doing. Excelling in all of these dimensions might make you a leader of the whole research field.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What does it mean for someone to be \"good at research?\" Sorry if the title is a bit ambiguous and broad. I was chatting last night with a couple of people from my lab. One of them is a recent PhD who's a year older than me and is one of the lab's \"assets\" in the sense that he's done some good work in our field and many people look up to him. Let's call him Tom. Tom also happens to be one of those people who I would call \"pretentious\" in the sense that his usual attitude is \"I don't need people who work hard I need people who are actually good.\" Just for some background information, I'm a second semester MSCS student. I plan to applying to PhD programs abroad this fall so that when I graduate next spring I can start right away. The context of how the title of this post came to be is that Tom usually tells me things like \"among your line of batchmates (people who entered the lab the same year) A and B are going to be the ones who shine\" (I may be taking this the wrong way but the way he says it seems to imply that I'm not good enough), \"I get that you enjoy research, but you really need to ask yourself if you're actually good at it,\" etc. and last night that really got me thinking. What exactly does it mean to be \"good at research?\" I asked him the same and he didn't really give me a straightforward answer after I retorted that everybody has their own measures of success. I took a look at this Quora question that's answered by one of my favorite Quora people but I was curious what other people on this subreddit may think. My personal criteria for one to be good at research is to first and foremost actually enjoy it (e.g. enjoy the feeling of realizing how \"dumb\" one is and enjoy the process of filling in knowledge gaps). I personally don't hold \"publish a lot of papers\" as a criterion but I've noticed the majority of people do.", "role": "user" }, { "content": ">\tI personally don't hold \"publish a lot of papers\" as a criterion but I've noticed the majority of people do. I'll take a run at this one point, since nobody else has yet. All of the other replies that personality traits and attributes are true: luck, openness, time management, and kindness are good predictors of whether someone will be good at the research process; especially if they have an otherwise-blank slate of experience. Published papers are the scorecard by which we measure past performance or productivity and search committees can count when you're on the market. If you've been out of a doctoral program for five years and have one low-level publication, someone could come to the conclusion that you are not good at research, regardless of your intellectually-curious, openness to failure, collaborative nature, and all the other things that it takes to be good at research. You either don't have the right methodological chops, time management ability, interpersonal skills, or something else. One of my mentors in graduate school used to joke that \"nobody gives awards for reading.\" We actually had one intellectually-curious student wash out of the cohort behind me because although she loved reading new ideas, she could never complete a project. She'd read a book, get an idea, do 10% of a literature review, get sidetracked by another book, and start another literature review. She didn't make it past comps. One of the skills that it takes to be a good researcher is that you are driving towards the conclusion of a project. There will be changes and speed bumps along the way. You may have to pivot during the review process, add another author, send it to a different conference than you were expecting, or your funding sources might dry up, but you're always trying to get whatever it is done. That is what results in publications, presentations, grant awards, and all those other performance metrics that we'd use to say someone has been a \"good researcher.\"", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What does it mean for someone to be \"good at research?\" Sorry if the title is a bit ambiguous and broad. I was chatting last night with a couple of people from my lab. One of them is a recent PhD who's a year older than me and is one of the lab's \"assets\" in the sense that he's done some good work in our field and many people look up to him. Let's call him Tom. Tom also happens to be one of those people who I would call \"pretentious\" in the sense that his usual attitude is \"I don't need people who work hard I need people who are actually good.\" Just for some background information, I'm a second semester MSCS student. I plan to applying to PhD programs abroad this fall so that when I graduate next spring I can start right away. The context of how the title of this post came to be is that Tom usually tells me things like \"among your line of batchmates (people who entered the lab the same year) A and B are going to be the ones who shine\" (I may be taking this the wrong way but the way he says it seems to imply that I'm not good enough), \"I get that you enjoy research, but you really need to ask yourself if you're actually good at it,\" etc. and last night that really got me thinking. What exactly does it mean to be \"good at research?\" I asked him the same and he didn't really give me a straightforward answer after I retorted that everybody has their own measures of success. I took a look at this Quora question that's answered by one of my favorite Quora people but I was curious what other people on this subreddit may think. My personal criteria for one to be good at research is to first and foremost actually enjoy it (e.g. enjoy the feeling of realizing how \"dumb\" one is and enjoy the process of filling in knowledge gaps). I personally don't hold \"publish a lot of papers\" as a criterion but I've noticed the majority of people do.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "First, don't worry about Tom, as others have said. What I think makes a good researcher is the following: 1. Motivated 2. Knows how to do a good literature review and find the gap in the literature. 3. Ethical At the end of the day, research is knowing what's been done and knowing what needs to done, then filling that gap or part of that gap or even just attempting to fill the gap.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What does it mean for someone to be \"good at research?\" Sorry if the title is a bit ambiguous and broad. I was chatting last night with a couple of people from my lab. One of them is a recent PhD who's a year older than me and is one of the lab's \"assets\" in the sense that he's done some good work in our field and many people look up to him. Let's call him Tom. Tom also happens to be one of those people who I would call \"pretentious\" in the sense that his usual attitude is \"I don't need people who work hard I need people who are actually good.\" Just for some background information, I'm a second semester MSCS student. I plan to applying to PhD programs abroad this fall so that when I graduate next spring I can start right away. The context of how the title of this post came to be is that Tom usually tells me things like \"among your line of batchmates (people who entered the lab the same year) A and B are going to be the ones who shine\" (I may be taking this the wrong way but the way he says it seems to imply that I'm not good enough), \"I get that you enjoy research, but you really need to ask yourself if you're actually good at it,\" etc. and last night that really got me thinking. What exactly does it mean to be \"good at research?\" I asked him the same and he didn't really give me a straightforward answer after I retorted that everybody has their own measures of success. I took a look at this Quora question that's answered by one of my favorite Quora people but I was curious what other people on this subreddit may think. My personal criteria for one to be good at research is to first and foremost actually enjoy it (e.g. enjoy the feeling of realizing how \"dumb\" one is and enjoy the process of filling in knowledge gaps). I personally don't hold \"publish a lot of papers\" as a criterion but I've noticed the majority of people do.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This Tom is an early PhD student, meaning he still hardly knows his arse from his elbow. Unless his field is the study of student success in higher educaton he can roll up those papers, insert them into himself and spin on it. Right now he's getting high off his own supply, but that attitude isn't going to get him far when he has his own struggles in his work and suddenly he's the stupid one. One of my best lecturers, Peter Mayhew, would always say that he never fely like he was the smartest person in the room in his career, and that he got where he was through persistence and hard work, humility, and an eagerness to learn from those around him. Beig good at what you do isn't about having some magic spark, its about working at it and dilligent proffesional development. They are the qualities that made him and excellent evolutionary biologist, and a good teacher. They are also the qualities that make someone a memorable person.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What does it mean for someone to be \"good at research?\" Sorry if the title is a bit ambiguous and broad. I was chatting last night with a couple of people from my lab. One of them is a recent PhD who's a year older than me and is one of the lab's \"assets\" in the sense that he's done some good work in our field and many people look up to him. Let's call him Tom. Tom also happens to be one of those people who I would call \"pretentious\" in the sense that his usual attitude is \"I don't need people who work hard I need people who are actually good.\" Just for some background information, I'm a second semester MSCS student. I plan to applying to PhD programs abroad this fall so that when I graduate next spring I can start right away. The context of how the title of this post came to be is that Tom usually tells me things like \"among your line of batchmates (people who entered the lab the same year) A and B are going to be the ones who shine\" (I may be taking this the wrong way but the way he says it seems to imply that I'm not good enough), \"I get that you enjoy research, but you really need to ask yourself if you're actually good at it,\" etc. and last night that really got me thinking. What exactly does it mean to be \"good at research?\" I asked him the same and he didn't really give me a straightforward answer after I retorted that everybody has their own measures of success. I took a look at this Quora question that's answered by one of my favorite Quora people but I was curious what other people on this subreddit may think. My personal criteria for one to be good at research is to first and foremost actually enjoy it (e.g. enjoy the feeling of realizing how \"dumb\" one is and enjoy the process of filling in knowledge gaps). I personally don't hold \"publish a lot of papers\" as a criterion but I've noticed the majority of people do.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "First, don't worry about Tom, as others have said. What I think makes a good researcher is the following: 1. Motivated 2. Knows how to do a good literature review and find the gap in the literature. 3. Ethical At the end of the day, research is knowing what's been done and knowing what needs to done, then filling that gap or part of that gap or even just attempting to fill the gap.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What does it mean for someone to be \"good at research?\" Sorry if the title is a bit ambiguous and broad. I was chatting last night with a couple of people from my lab. One of them is a recent PhD who's a year older than me and is one of the lab's \"assets\" in the sense that he's done some good work in our field and many people look up to him. Let's call him Tom. Tom also happens to be one of those people who I would call \"pretentious\" in the sense that his usual attitude is \"I don't need people who work hard I need people who are actually good.\" Just for some background information, I'm a second semester MSCS student. I plan to applying to PhD programs abroad this fall so that when I graduate next spring I can start right away. The context of how the title of this post came to be is that Tom usually tells me things like \"among your line of batchmates (people who entered the lab the same year) A and B are going to be the ones who shine\" (I may be taking this the wrong way but the way he says it seems to imply that I'm not good enough), \"I get that you enjoy research, but you really need to ask yourself if you're actually good at it,\" etc. and last night that really got me thinking. What exactly does it mean to be \"good at research?\" I asked him the same and he didn't really give me a straightforward answer after I retorted that everybody has their own measures of success. I took a look at this Quora question that's answered by one of my favorite Quora people but I was curious what other people on this subreddit may think. My personal criteria for one to be good at research is to first and foremost actually enjoy it (e.g. enjoy the feeling of realizing how \"dumb\" one is and enjoy the process of filling in knowledge gaps). I personally don't hold \"publish a lot of papers\" as a criterion but I've noticed the majority of people do.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "My name is Tom, and I feel attacked reading these comments. But Tom sounds like a real turd!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "\"Make all the figures before you start writing the paper\" is terrible advice Biomedical sciences student here. I am curious what people think of this statement. Personally, I have heard it from many PIs, including my own, leading me to believe it is a common bit of philosophy throughout academia. Based on my experience, this has been garbage advice. Sure, you need to know your data, and you need to have it analyzed before you start writing. But I have found that the story only comes together when pen hits paper, and some parts of the story end up needing to be emphasized while others can be ignored. In the past, I tried to stick to pre-made figures and maintain the expectation that they weren't going to change. Ultimately I found that this unnecessarily constrained the story I ended up being able to tell and became a waste of time since I just remake the figures anyway.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's highly field dependent, as well as dependent on the sheer volume of data you need to chew on (the more numbers you deal with, the more a graph becomes necessary to remotely grasp what the data is saying), but in my experience I'd say it's so obvious as to be less advice, and more \"if you're not doing it this way you're literally doing it wrong.\" That's not to say that *every* graph and figure has to be made in advance, as occasionally you do run into a situation where you need a \"novel\" graph in order to illustrate some point. But generally speaking all of your major and/or \"core\" graphs should be made in the analysis phase, to the degree that you probably want all of your graphs to be made by your post-processing and analysis software. Granted, I'm in a field where the graphs genuinely don't change in terms of overall formatting from paper to paper, so I'm a bit spoiled, but still.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "\"Make all the figures before you start writing the paper\" is terrible advice Biomedical sciences student here. I am curious what people think of this statement. Personally, I have heard it from many PIs, including my own, leading me to believe it is a common bit of philosophy throughout academia. Based on my experience, this has been garbage advice. Sure, you need to know your data, and you need to have it analyzed before you start writing. But I have found that the story only comes together when pen hits paper, and some parts of the story end up needing to be emphasized while others can be ignored. In the past, I tried to stick to pre-made figures and maintain the expectation that they weren't going to change. Ultimately I found that this unnecessarily constrained the story I ended up being able to tell and became a waste of time since I just remake the figures anyway.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "My experience comes from biology where not only is this a good strategy for writing a paper it's good for starting a project. Make up figures on a whiteboard of how the project could play out. Can you make sense of all the possible outcomes? Are there some answers that are better than others? If all the possible answers are interesting and interpretable then you have a good project design. If only some answers give you intelligible answers then you have a poor(er) design. Once you have data, drafting the figures gives you an outline of the paper. This is how people read papers. Often they just look at the figures to scrape the information they are interested in. It's the storyboard and the hard data that determines what you ultimately can say.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "\"Make all the figures before you start writing the paper\" is terrible advice Biomedical sciences student here. I am curious what people think of this statement. Personally, I have heard it from many PIs, including my own, leading me to believe it is a common bit of philosophy throughout academia. Based on my experience, this has been garbage advice. Sure, you need to know your data, and you need to have it analyzed before you start writing. But I have found that the story only comes together when pen hits paper, and some parts of the story end up needing to be emphasized while others can be ignored. In the past, I tried to stick to pre-made figures and maintain the expectation that they weren't going to change. Ultimately I found that this unnecessarily constrained the story I ended up being able to tell and became a waste of time since I just remake the figures anyway.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It is excellent advice ... that should be thrown away once you actually start writing the paper. There are some parts of a paper you can write in advance, but you don’t really know what story you are going to tell until you have analyzed your data, and ideally the figures should tell the story on their own. Getting the figures right is therefore some of the most important work of writing the paper. BUT in the process of writing, sometimes you have insights that change the way you understand the data or how you want to present it, leading you to change the figures. I once wrote a paper and while putting together the talk about it I had a flash of insight about a new, better way to present the ideas. I ended up with a much better presentation based on completely different figures. The paper was mostly mathematical proofs and the talk ended up being mostly conceptual figures explaining the ideas in the proofs. Had I stuck with the original figures, it would have been a dud (honestly, I was even bored creating the original presentation). Instead, several people told me afterward it was their favorite conference talk. Bottom line: it is helpful to think about the story you want to tell and how to tell it through the figures before you start writing in earnest, sort of like storyboarding your paper, but be open to changing them as you go along.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "\"Make all the figures before you start writing the paper\" is terrible advice Biomedical sciences student here. I am curious what people think of this statement. Personally, I have heard it from many PIs, including my own, leading me to believe it is a common bit of philosophy throughout academia. Based on my experience, this has been garbage advice. Sure, you need to know your data, and you need to have it analyzed before you start writing. But I have found that the story only comes together when pen hits paper, and some parts of the story end up needing to be emphasized while others can be ignored. In the past, I tried to stick to pre-made figures and maintain the expectation that they weren't going to change. Ultimately I found that this unnecessarily constrained the story I ended up being able to tell and became a waste of time since I just remake the figures anyway.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "My experience comes from biology where not only is this a good strategy for writing a paper it's good for starting a project. Make up figures on a whiteboard of how the project could play out. Can you make sense of all the possible outcomes? Are there some answers that are better than others? If all the possible answers are interesting and interpretable then you have a good project design. If only some answers give you intelligible answers then you have a poor(er) design. Once you have data, drafting the figures gives you an outline of the paper. This is how people read papers. Often they just look at the figures to scrape the information they are interested in. It's the storyboard and the hard data that determines what you ultimately can say.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "\"Make all the figures before you start writing the paper\" is terrible advice Biomedical sciences student here. I am curious what people think of this statement. Personally, I have heard it from many PIs, including my own, leading me to believe it is a common bit of philosophy throughout academia. Based on my experience, this has been garbage advice. Sure, you need to know your data, and you need to have it analyzed before you start writing. But I have found that the story only comes together when pen hits paper, and some parts of the story end up needing to be emphasized while others can be ignored. In the past, I tried to stick to pre-made figures and maintain the expectation that they weren't going to change. Ultimately I found that this unnecessarily constrained the story I ended up being able to tell and became a waste of time since I just remake the figures anyway.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It is excellent advice ... that should be thrown away once you actually start writing the paper. There are some parts of a paper you can write in advance, but you don’t really know what story you are going to tell until you have analyzed your data, and ideally the figures should tell the story on their own. Getting the figures right is therefore some of the most important work of writing the paper. BUT in the process of writing, sometimes you have insights that change the way you understand the data or how you want to present it, leading you to change the figures. I once wrote a paper and while putting together the talk about it I had a flash of insight about a new, better way to present the ideas. I ended up with a much better presentation based on completely different figures. The paper was mostly mathematical proofs and the talk ended up being mostly conceptual figures explaining the ideas in the proofs. Had I stuck with the original figures, it would have been a dud (honestly, I was even bored creating the original presentation). Instead, several people told me afterward it was their favorite conference talk. Bottom line: it is helpful to think about the story you want to tell and how to tell it through the figures before you start writing in earnest, sort of like storyboarding your paper, but be open to changing them as you go along.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "\"Make all the figures before you start writing the paper\" is terrible advice Biomedical sciences student here. I am curious what people think of this statement. Personally, I have heard it from many PIs, including my own, leading me to believe it is a common bit of philosophy throughout academia. Based on my experience, this has been garbage advice. Sure, you need to know your data, and you need to have it analyzed before you start writing. But I have found that the story only comes together when pen hits paper, and some parts of the story end up needing to be emphasized while others can be ignored. In the past, I tried to stick to pre-made figures and maintain the expectation that they weren't going to change. Ultimately I found that this unnecessarily constrained the story I ended up being able to tell and became a waste of time since I just remake the figures anyway.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It’s shorthand for “make an outline (well)”. I find writing a paper is a dual process: constructing a narrative AND evaluating what, precisely, your data support. If you just go for the narrative, it’s all but inevitable that you will include conclusions and inferences not completely supported by your data. Mocking up a few figures helps with the dual task. It also reacquaints you with data that you may not have looked at in depth for some time. As others have said, it’s a starting point. The complex and nuanced stories we usually have to tell have a habit of changing on you as you pull them together. This is *one* technique to help you get to a shitty first draft. And by shitty I don’t mean poorly thought out or scraped off the floor - I mean a first pass at pulling together the threads of your work. ETA: YMMV. As I tell my trainees: until you find your own method and voice, borrow mine. It’s had some of the kinks worked out.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "\"Make all the figures before you start writing the paper\" is terrible advice Biomedical sciences student here. I am curious what people think of this statement. Personally, I have heard it from many PIs, including my own, leading me to believe it is a common bit of philosophy throughout academia. Based on my experience, this has been garbage advice. Sure, you need to know your data, and you need to have it analyzed before you start writing. But I have found that the story only comes together when pen hits paper, and some parts of the story end up needing to be emphasized while others can be ignored. In the past, I tried to stick to pre-made figures and maintain the expectation that they weren't going to change. Ultimately I found that this unnecessarily constrained the story I ended up being able to tell and became a waste of time since I just remake the figures anyway.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I think writing is an extremely personal process and you have to try what works for different people before finding your method. I don't like making my figures first, but I like making my section/subsection/subsubsection. I like writing my abstract first, even though many people say not to. Overall you need to write a cohesive story for your paper to be on its way to be good, but there's not one way that works. I think the \"make your figures before writing the paper\" is just another advice like this. Making your figures gives you an idea of where and how you want to take this paper. It gives you the story you need", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "\"Make all the figures before you start writing the paper\" is terrible advice Biomedical sciences student here. I am curious what people think of this statement. Personally, I have heard it from many PIs, including my own, leading me to believe it is a common bit of philosophy throughout academia. Based on my experience, this has been garbage advice. Sure, you need to know your data, and you need to have it analyzed before you start writing. But I have found that the story only comes together when pen hits paper, and some parts of the story end up needing to be emphasized while others can be ignored. In the past, I tried to stick to pre-made figures and maintain the expectation that they weren't going to change. Ultimately I found that this unnecessarily constrained the story I ended up being able to tell and became a waste of time since I just remake the figures anyway.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I make all the figures and do all the analyses before starting writing. You need a story first and that comes from the interpretation of your results!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "\"Make all the figures before you start writing the paper\" is terrible advice Biomedical sciences student here. I am curious what people think of this statement. Personally, I have heard it from many PIs, including my own, leading me to believe it is a common bit of philosophy throughout academia. Based on my experience, this has been garbage advice. Sure, you need to know your data, and you need to have it analyzed before you start writing. But I have found that the story only comes together when pen hits paper, and some parts of the story end up needing to be emphasized while others can be ignored. In the past, I tried to stick to pre-made figures and maintain the expectation that they weren't going to change. Ultimately I found that this unnecessarily constrained the story I ended up being able to tell and became a waste of time since I just remake the figures anyway.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I agree with most of the comments here, but in my experience, Figure 1 or maybe 2 (depending on the length of the paper) might change dramatically depending on the type of narrative and how it evolves during the writing process. These are usually intro figures and depend heavily on the written intro. Chemistry PhD candidate here (chem bio) which I think publication-wise should be relatively similar.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "\"Make all the figures before you start writing the paper\" is terrible advice Biomedical sciences student here. I am curious what people think of this statement. Personally, I have heard it from many PIs, including my own, leading me to believe it is a common bit of philosophy throughout academia. Based on my experience, this has been garbage advice. Sure, you need to know your data, and you need to have it analyzed before you start writing. But I have found that the story only comes together when pen hits paper, and some parts of the story end up needing to be emphasized while others can be ignored. In the past, I tried to stick to pre-made figures and maintain the expectation that they weren't going to change. Ultimately I found that this unnecessarily constrained the story I ended up being able to tell and became a waste of time since I just remake the figures anyway.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I make all the figures and do all the analyses before starting writing. You need a story first and that comes from the interpretation of your results!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Advice to your younger academic self If you could go back and tell your younger self one thing about academia or the PhD process, what would you say? What did you wish you had known early on? I’ve been asked to speak at an induction day for new PhD students and would love to hear your experiences/advice (as students and/or supervisors) - and to share them with my group and others on here. Apologies if there’s a recent thread on this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "1. a huge portion of the job is public speaking, which I did not realize when I started out. 2. the labor situation is as bad as everyone says. 3. publish, publish, publish. 4. a huge portion of the job is being able to get other people (readers, students) excited about difficult, abstract, boring things and to help them see value and interest in knowledge (even if it doesn't have immediate instrumental application).", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Advice to your younger academic self If you could go back and tell your younger self one thing about academia or the PhD process, what would you say? What did you wish you had known early on? I’ve been asked to speak at an induction day for new PhD students and would love to hear your experiences/advice (as students and/or supervisors) - and to share them with my group and others on here. Apologies if there’s a recent thread on this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Choose an advisor who's good at networking and has a very good standing in the community. That really helps.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Advice to your younger academic self If you could go back and tell your younger self one thing about academia or the PhD process, what would you say? What did you wish you had known early on? I’ve been asked to speak at an induction day for new PhD students and would love to hear your experiences/advice (as students and/or supervisors) - and to share them with my group and others on here. Apologies if there’s a recent thread on this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I would say to decide what your end goal is with your degree and make every effort to spend time working towards that goal. For example, I wanted to go towards professoring at a small teaching focused college and the advisor I first picked didn't really care what my goals were. I ended up quitting the first lab and switched to an advisor who was willing to help me work toward my goals but I essentially wasted my first year and a half because my advisor only wanted me to spend my time in the lab and discouraged me from spending time on my teaching.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Advice to your younger academic self If you could go back and tell your younger self one thing about academia or the PhD process, what would you say? What did you wish you had known early on? I’ve been asked to speak at an induction day for new PhD students and would love to hear your experiences/advice (as students and/or supervisors) - and to share them with my group and others on here. Apologies if there’s a recent thread on this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I have two: 1. Please publish more!! The job market is seriously as bad as they say it is. Focusing on your teaching will NOT HELP YOU. 2. You wouldn’t be in the program if you couldn’t do it. You absolutely can. Don’t let imposter syndrome keep you hiding from opportunities.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Advice to your younger academic self If you could go back and tell your younger self one thing about academia or the PhD process, what would you say? What did you wish you had known early on? I’ve been asked to speak at an induction day for new PhD students and would love to hear your experiences/advice (as students and/or supervisors) - and to share them with my group and others on here. Apologies if there’s a recent thread on this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "My 5c. Focus on the work your advisor sets but don’t be afraid to venture into other parts of the literature that you find interesting. Be as happy as you can be during the challenges you will face. My biggest regret is not being able to stay more positive and happy throughout what were some of the most difficult and challenging times of my life. The professors I worked with changed my life for the better and they will probably never know or understand how difficult it was for me to finish my studies, or how useful their help was in getting me there. Be focused. The process can be demoralizing, humiliating and seem impossible at times, it’s critically important to remain focused. Be grateful to the professors and those around you especially when it feels like they’re busy with other things and not focused on whatever it is that is critically important to your project. Pretty much everyone in academia, especially professors, are doing what they do because they want to help other people, and not enough thanks is given for that. Be kind. Spend a few minutes a day being kind to the staff at the university. Tell them a joke or an insight into your work etc... Learn to use a digital citation manager endnote or zotero on day 1. File everything so that if you returned to the file system in ten years you could easily pick up where you left off. Go to as many relevant science-based conferences as you can.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Advice to your younger academic self If you could go back and tell your younger self one thing about academia or the PhD process, what would you say? What did you wish you had known early on? I’ve been asked to speak at an induction day for new PhD students and would love to hear your experiences/advice (as students and/or supervisors) - and to share them with my group and others on here. Apologies if there’s a recent thread on this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I have two: 1. Please publish more!! The job market is seriously as bad as they say it is. Focusing on your teaching will NOT HELP YOU. 2. You wouldn’t be in the program if you couldn’t do it. You absolutely can. Don’t let imposter syndrome keep you hiding from opportunities.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Advice to your younger academic self If you could go back and tell your younger self one thing about academia or the PhD process, what would you say? What did you wish you had known early on? I’ve been asked to speak at an induction day for new PhD students and would love to hear your experiences/advice (as students and/or supervisors) - and to share them with my group and others on here. Apologies if there’s a recent thread on this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "in the vein of uncommon or contrarian advice: “implement things from scratch instead of relying on or trying to modify existing open-source implementations”. Working in applied computational statistical methods development I wasted a huge amount of time trying to wrap my head around convoluted, buggy backends after being convinced not to reinvent square wheels. Unfortunately off-the-shelf wheels were riddled with holes that were very difficult for me to fix (as someone without a formal CS background — any fairly trivial change would require that I edit a dozen files, none of which was documented anywhere). Things went much smoother when I started doing everything except low-medium level stuff from scratch (i.e. using only very established statistical computing libraries... which incidentally went eschewed by other software I’d been trying to modify and use, which is where a lot of the bugs came from). Getting novel algorithmic tricks implemented went from something very frustrating to something with much more rapid turnaround.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Advice to your younger academic self If you could go back and tell your younger self one thing about academia or the PhD process, what would you say? What did you wish you had known early on? I’ve been asked to speak at an induction day for new PhD students and would love to hear your experiences/advice (as students and/or supervisors) - and to share them with my group and others on here. Apologies if there’s a recent thread on this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I have two: 1. Please publish more!! The job market is seriously as bad as they say it is. Focusing on your teaching will NOT HELP YOU. 2. You wouldn’t be in the program if you couldn’t do it. You absolutely can. Don’t let imposter syndrome keep you hiding from opportunities.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Advice to your younger academic self If you could go back and tell your younger self one thing about academia or the PhD process, what would you say? What did you wish you had known early on? I’ve been asked to speak at an induction day for new PhD students and would love to hear your experiences/advice (as students and/or supervisors) - and to share them with my group and others on here. Apologies if there’s a recent thread on this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "in the vein of uncommon or contrarian advice: “implement things from scratch instead of relying on or trying to modify existing open-source implementations”. Working in applied computational statistical methods development I wasted a huge amount of time trying to wrap my head around convoluted, buggy backends after being convinced not to reinvent square wheels. Unfortunately off-the-shelf wheels were riddled with holes that were very difficult for me to fix (as someone without a formal CS background — any fairly trivial change would require that I edit a dozen files, none of which was documented anywhere). Things went much smoother when I started doing everything except low-medium level stuff from scratch (i.e. using only very established statistical computing libraries... which incidentally went eschewed by other software I’d been trying to modify and use, which is where a lot of the bugs came from). Getting novel algorithmic tricks implemented went from something very frustrating to something with much more rapid turnaround.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Advice to your younger academic self If you could go back and tell your younger self one thing about academia or the PhD process, what would you say? What did you wish you had known early on? I’ve been asked to speak at an induction day for new PhD students and would love to hear your experiences/advice (as students and/or supervisors) - and to share them with my group and others on here. Apologies if there’s a recent thread on this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Figure out how to do the PhD in a way that is what you want it to be and makes you happy. Being miserable working day and night for 5+ years, to get a job where you can continue to be miserable, just doesn't make sense. For me, that means working 9-5 M-F. I had to come to terms with the fact that doing so might mean I wouldn't get an academic job, but improved my life so dramatically (and I got a job at a school that values work-life balance, and not at schools where I would have hated my life -- living the life you want also serves as a matching mechanism).", "role": "assistant" } ]