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<s>[INST] In middle school and high school, my friends and family thought I was gay. I tried telling them, but they wouldn’t believe me. It almost feels like they wanted me to be. Now I’m actually starting to believe them. I know I wasn’t back then, and now I’m not sure anymore. [/INST] I agree with Amy. We get a lot of pressure from others and even ourselves to define who we are and what we want at a pretty early age. The truth is, our sexuality can change and grow in directions we never imagined. I may be wrong, but I am getting the impression that you may not want to be gay. That this is something you didn't like others suggesting and now you are uncomfortable with the idea that it may be true. This would certainly be understandable. Your sexuality is YOURS and yours alone. It can be quite frustrating and hurful when others try to define who you are. And it can be equally frustrating when you are trying to figure it out for yourself. The truth is that there are many different possibilities when it comes to sexual orientation. It may help to think about what qualities you find attractive. What kind of person can you see yourself being attracted to? Someone smart? Funny? Loves dogs? If you look for these qualities in a person they may lead you to being attracted to someone of the same sex, but maybe not. At least you would be choosing someone based on values and qualities that you love and admire. Another idea is to chat with a counselor, if you are interested. Preferrably one who has done some training in affirmative therapy. Be well and be you..Robin  J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC </s>

<s>[INST] She's in her early 20s, and she has a toddler. [/INST] Well, first let's identify what factors are involved in the situation about which you wrote.Are you the only decision maker regarding your stepdaughter living with you?Is her dad, and your partner, living under the same roof?Would you feel any obligation to consult with your husband about his opinion and his way of handling the situation?Have you talked with your stepdaughter about your observation and your reaction to the fact of her not honoring your boundaries?Consider too that there will be an effect on the toddler, your grandchild, if you kick out your daughter.Is your daughter financially ready to live on her own and support herself and her child?You certainly have the right to define the terms of what goes on under your roof.It is only fair to everyone that as many variables as possible, be considered.The conclusion may be that it is in everyone's best interest for your stepdaughter to move out.If everyone feels respected and a well thought out plan is developed, then the least amount of hurt and stress, and the most amount of happiness, will be possible from this change. </s>

<s>[INST] I’m a man, and I’m soon to be married. I have been messing around with other men on the side. It started as a once in a while thing, but it’s been happening a lot. I don't know what to do. [/INST] If you are happy with the person that you are about to be married to and are also enjoying time with other men, it could be possible that you are attracted to people of more than one gender.Having said that, some people have feelings toward people of more than one gender that are not really related to romance or attraction, but any number of other feelings, such as trust and communication. I don't know whether your use of the phrase "messing around" was related specifically to being romantically or sexually involved with the people who you are or referring to or if you are saying that you are enjoying spending time with them. These terms have different definitions for almost everyone.I would definitely recommend speaking with a local mental health practitioner in your area, not because there is anything wrong about the way you are feeling, but because there are a lot of different parts of what is happening in your life right now and it may be helpful to talk about the feelings and thoughts with someone who can help you to learn more about yourself and the people are most important in your life (yourself included).I also suggest looking at a few things that you love and appreciate about yourself. </s>

<s>[INST] I'm in my late 50s. I never loved or have been loved. I need deeper help than is offered in my small town, but I cannot leave this town because of agoraphobia. I find myself losing hope more and more. My brain barely works anymore, and my memory so small, I forget in a moment. I serve no purpose. I'm incapable of work or anything of value, and I never have been. I’m a complete waste of time and resources, and yet I keep trying. Why? Why does God insist that I continue to exist? I’m not suicidal, just tired. [/INST] The fact that you're reaching out says that there is something in you that wants this to be different, and that drive might be something worth tapping into. "Why do I keep trying?" is a question that might give you some insight into what it is in you that keeps you going. A lot of therapists/counselors are now offering video therapy. As long as you're in the same state as a therapist offering this service, you could connect with someone helpful from the comfort of your home, even being in your small town. I'd recommend looking into this option, because you're asking a lot of really deep questions and might benefit from having those conversations with someone who can help you find your own answers. </s>

<s>[INST] My dad is doing some really bad drugs, and I'm not allowed to see him anymore because of what he can do to me or my siblings on this drug. It has affected me tremendously in my life. It’s even caused me anger and stress. [/INST] It seems like you are going trough stages of grief, since the inability to see your father causes you similar feelings as if you had lost him.  Perhaps you could send him letters expressing your feelings and hopes.  But do understand that if he is under the influence of drugs he might not be able to empathize with your feelings or react in the way that he would have done so in the past.  As the issue evolves find a therapist or counselor to help you work on letting go of that anger and stress, which may affect you negatively.  Find forgiveness so you can have a relationship with him in the future.  ¿Qué puedo hacer con mi padre usuario de drogas?Mi papa está usando drogas muy malas, y no estoy autorizada a verlo por lo que me puede hacer a mí y a mis hermanos.  Esto afecta mi vida tremendamente.  Me causa coraje  estrés.Parece que estas pasando por estados de luto, ya que el no poder ver a tu padre causa sentimientos similares a cuando hay una perdida.  Tal vez puedes escribirle cartas expresando tus sentimientos y esperanzas.  Pero comprende que si el está bajo la influencia de drogas puede que no sienta empatía o te responda como lo solía hacer.  Mientras el problema se resuelve busca un consejero o terapeuta que te ayude a trabajar en resolver los sentimientos de coraje y estrés, trabaja también en perdonarlo para que puedas tener una relación con él en el futuro. </s>

<s>[INST] I was the one who ended it, and I'm so glad I did. It was the best decision I made in my life. But how do I stop the nightmares and flashbacks? It is creating a wall in my current relationship. [/INST] Thanks for sharing and asking for help.  You mention that you're the one who ended the relationship in the past, yet are haunted by nightmares and flashbacks. Your comments here lead me to wonder that you may have experienced some form of trauma in this past relationship; and, if so, I would encourage you to additionally consider the whole of your story-line as it relates to trauma. Doing so will serve you well for your own peace-of-mind especially so in your current relationship.  The best way to do all of this in a supportive fashion is to work with an experienced therapist who specializes in trauma-focused care. The therapist may, if indicated, wish to to incorporate EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) which "...is a psychotherapy that enables people to heal from the symptoms and emotional distress that are the result of disturbing life experiences.  Best wishes.Resource for Your Consideration: http://www.emdr.com/ </s>

<s>[INST] My girlfriend remains friends with ex boyfriends/lovers on Facebook who actively like and comment on posts. It causes me to get jealous because I'm afraid they might reconnect somehow. I've attempted to talk to her about it, but she avoids it and doesn't seem to worry about how I feel about it. [/INST] Talking about it would probably be helpful if you're both in a place where you can decide when is best to talk about something that is important. It may also be helpful to ask if you could talk for two or three minutes to make a point and then have space for her to talk for the same amount of time. You can adjust the timing for what works for both of you. After one of you is talking, perhaps you could restate what you have heard the person say. This can lessen confusion.I know you say that she avoids it. It might be a good place to start talking about it – to see what makes her avoid it. It could be that she thinks any discussion about them is going to lead to an argument or you saying that she can't talk to them. I don't know how you typically react when you are jealous, but if you can discuss talking about this in a way that you are both open to hearing what the other person is experiencing, that may be helpful as well. </s>

<s>[INST] I'm feeling rejected and frustrated. This is not new. The first month we were together, sex was about every day. Then it slowed down to once a month right away. I love my husband, but I am struggling with this. [/INST] This could have many different origins. Have you tried asking him about it? Sometimes starting with asking whether he would be open to having an important discussion can be a good beginning. If that starts well, perhaps continuing with something like "I've noticed that we haven't been together intimately (or whatever phrasing works for you) as much lately. Can you tell me more about what it's like for you?"When asking questions like this, it usually helpful to not overuse (and perhaps try to avoid using) the word "why." That word tends to trigger really strong emotional reactions in people. Try starting with "what makes" Instead. For example, "what made you choose not to do that?" </s>

<s>[INST] Whether it's to a guy or girl, I always feel insecure talking, and I am afraid of embarrassing myself and not being good enough. Even when I am walking, I worry about my appearance and facial expression and such. [/INST] Hi. I'm glad you wrote, because I think a lot of people have this same issue (to different degrees) and we don't talk about it much. You have some social anxiety that is a bit beyond what the average person might feel. Most people have some amount of worry about what others might think of them, and this probably prevents us from making complete fools of ourselves so that's a good thing. But your "alarm system" is out of whack and you are spending too much time worrying about how you come across. As you age you understand this more, and it's true...that other people really aren't thinking about you much or monitoring you at all; they're too busy having the same thoughts you're having! Am I good enough? Do people like me, judge me...think I'm weird? We're all concerned about how we come across far more than how others come across. Like many people, you lack compassion for yourself, acceptance of yourself and confidence in yourself. My gut says that these things came from somewhere in your past. Our sensitivities usually come from (as well as genetics) a specific time in our life when we experienced or felt something that was overwhelming and we end up with an alarm system that overreacts at times. Without more details, it's difficult to go further here. I recommend you see a therapist who does cognitive behavioural therapy, which can help you understand the roots of your fears and learn how to manage them more successfully. </s>

<s>[INST] I have a fear of something and I want to face that fear to overcome it, but I don't know how. What can I do? [/INST] This answer could be very different depending on the fear, the degree of it, and what it connects to.I wonder the following:On a scale of 1 to 10, how upset, anxious, or scared to you get when you think about overcoming this? If it's more than a 5/10, I would definitely recommend talking with a therapist in your area.A lot of fears that we have come from something that at one time was self-protective and important. Do you know where your fear started? If you think it is still protecting you or helping you in some way, talk with someone (like a therapist) about it.If it is something that you know is irrational (for example, fear of being hurt by static cling from winter clothing), is there some part of that that you are not afraid of?I really encourage you to consider whether your fear has a lot of emotions connected to it or if it ties from something in your past that was very emotional for you at the time. If it does, consider working with a therapist to establish emotional safety before taking away the fear or anxiety that may actually be helpful to you.Also, the fact that you notice that you are afraid of something and you don't want to be afraid of it anymore is a big step in the forward direction. </s>

<s>[INST] How do I decide if I should end my relationship with my boyfriend? [/INST] The decision to end a relationship is often very difficult. It is important that you are aware of your personal "deal breakers". Some common deal breakers are abuse of any kind (physical, verbal, sexual, or emotional) or substance abuse; however, anything that is detrimental to your well being can be considered a deal breaker. I know of a young woman who broke up with her boyfriend because he decided to adopt a pet cat and she is highly allergic. For her, having a cat was a deal breaker !Healthy relationships enhance personal growth, and  we enhance our spiritual and emotional wellbeing by collaborating with our partner to work through problems and overcome challenges. My guess is that you would not be questioning whether or not to end your relationship if things were going smoothly. Are you both equally invested in finding a resolution to whatever is troubling you?An excellent book on relationship ambivalence is "Too Good to Leave; Too Bad to Stay" by Mira Kirshenbaum. By the last chapter you will have the answers that you seek. </s>

<s>[INST] My ex-boyfriend and I have been back and forth for over a year now. He's in his late 20s, divorced for like five years now with two kids. He has a lot of narcissistic behaviors. He lies and cheats, but I love him. I've tried to date other people, but I always go back to him. [/INST] There are a lot of pieces to the decision of whether to stay or leave. Can you have open conversations about your concerns? Is he able to listen to that? I'm not sure how you know for sure that he lies and cheats, but does he recognize these things as problems? Which part of you is bigger: the part of you that wants to stay or the part of you that wants to leave? Can you consider what you want, wish for, and desire while also considering the same for him? Can he do that for you? </s>

<s>[INST] My boyfriend of eight years and father of our two children is a truck driver. He is never home and only contributes to our family financially. There is no other support given. He comes home when able, sleeps, gives money, and leaves again. I can't get him to do anything with me or the kids. He just sleeps and works. [/INST] After eight years and two children’s, people change.  I suggest to talk to him about how you feel, let him know that although he is gone for a long time, his presence as a husband and father are required and important.  Ask him if he will be willing to engage again and how he would like to do so.  Many times when the dads are away, moms design a perfect routine and they feel like they will disturb it.  Make alone time and family time for him, so you can reconnect as a couple and then as a family.¿Cómo trabajo con un esposo que solo contribuye económicamente?Mi novio de ocho amos y padre de mis dos hijos es camionero. El nunca está en casa y solo contribuye financieramente. No provee apoyo en ninguna otra forma. El viene a casa cuando puede, duerme, provee dinero y se va otra vez. No puedo lograr que haga nada conmigo y los niños. Solo duerme y trabaja.Después de ocho años y dos hijos las  personas cambian.  Te sugiero que hables con tu pareja sobre cómo te dientes, déjale saber que aunque el esta fuera la mayoría del tiempo, su presencia como pareja y padre es requerida e importante. Pregúntale si el está dispuesto a comprometerse  ser parte activa de la familia y como lo haría.  Muchas veces cuando los papás están afuera las mamás desarrollan rutinas que luego ellos no quieren interrumpir.  Crea tiempo a solas para dedicarle a el para que puedan reconectar como pareja y luego como familia. </s>

<s>[INST] A year ago, the love of my life left me and never looked back. Our son was two months old at the time and it broke my heart. I miss her so much and can't seem to get over being so heartbroken. [/INST] I recognize that you say you are missing being with the love of your life. At the same time, I don't understand whether you are able to see your son. I'm curious as to the relationship dynamic between you and your son's mother.When you say that she "never looked back," I imagine you are conveying that getting back together is not something that she is interested in.I would suggest that you talk with a therapist and your local area so that you have the ability to discuss the loss of this person who you love so much. Most people think of grief related to the loss of someone who has died, But it also applies to people who have a significant loss, whether that is a relationship, a job, or any number of other things.In the meantime, try finding something about yourself that you value and can focus on. </s>

<s>[INST] I'm a teenager and I get these really intense mood swings. My mood will be really high and I'll think of something that I want to do. When I start to make it happen I get irritated by other people if they intervene. Then if the thing I wanted to do doesn't work out, I have these tendencies to blame other people for it not working out. Can you explain what's going on? [/INST] Mood swings and getting frustrated when things don't work out is totally normal. Sometimes, we get tied to one thing we really want to do and it can feel pretty intense when that gets interrupted or doesn't work out. This said, you're coming to CounselChat and so I'm guessing this is something that is pretty intense for you and something that you are concerned about. If this is getting in the way of your life, it may be worthwhile to reach out to a therapist or doctor to get some help with this and see if there might be something more going on. While for most people frustration/mood swings is related to typical life and stress, if very intense it can be a sign of a number of challenges ranging from anxiety to a traumatic experience to something like Bipolar Disorder where a person's mood and energy might fly so high (mania) that one feels like they can do anything but often become frustrated when interrupted (note: there is a lot more to Bipolar Disorder than this and this is certainly not a diagnosis). Wish you well! </s>

<s>[INST] I've been in a relationship for almost a year, and I absolutely trust my boyfriend. He treats me nice, checks on me, and tells me sweet things. However, when it comes to making life decisions, I feel he is very immature. I try to talk things out so we can compromise or make sound decisions together, but he lacks any ideas and prefers to just go with anything to avoid fighting. As far as dates, if I don't say anything, plan it, or have money to chip in, we will not go. I feel like I put in a lot of work supporting and sometimes spoiling, and all I get is a loyal man who will not cheat and say sweet things on occasion. [/INST] Well, then your decision is whether you want to stay in this type of relationship or not.One point to keep in mind is this.Just because he's not telling you his opinions doesn't mean he doesn't have any opinions.In the long run t is always easier to talk with someone about their differences from our point of view than to be someone who doesn't tell you what is in their mind.Short term it seems easy to have someone agreeable.Long term someone who doesn't tell you their thoughts and who disagrees with you, may potentially go about their true wishes in hidden ways. </s>

<s>[INST] I get so much anxiety, and I don’t know why. I feel like I can’t do anything by myself because I’m scared of the outcomes. [/INST] The other two post answers to your question are very good and I don't feel the need to repeat what has already been said quite well, but I will offer one other option I have been able to utilize quite successfully with those dealing with panic attacks.  Chain analysis is a fantastic way for your to map out the situation starting with the prompting event, the chain of events ((links) that lead up to the behavior - in this case a panic attack, and then what the consequences were.  See the illustration below:<img src="data:image/png;base64,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 </s>

<s>[INST] A few years ago I was making love to my wife when for no known reason I lost my erection, Now I'm In my early 30s and my problem has become more and more frequent. This is causing major problems for my ego and it's diminishing my self esteem. This has resulted in ongoing depression and tearing apart my marriage. I am devastated and cannot find a cause for these issues. I am very attracted to my wife and want to express it in the bedroom like I used to. What could be causing this, and what can I do about it? [/INST] First step always is to do a medical rule out so that you're sure the problem is psychological and emotion based, not a medical condition which requires care and attention.If you are medically clear in the reasons for losing your erection, then reflect on what may be creating a loss in confidence in either who you are and what you're doing with your life, or whether your wife has these sort of problems within herself.Often a problem transfers ownership of who shows it.If you are a sensitive person its possible your erection problem reflects your wife's insecurities and self-doubt.  If she is someone who is reluctant to talk about feeling unsure then in a certain way by you showing a problem, she can avoid looking at herself.There may not be a direct cause such as usually exists in a medical problem.Medicine looks for symptoms to treat.Our emotional lives are much more indirect.If you feel stress at work or are unhappy in the place you live, for example, then your frustration may show up in your sex life.Basically, do a broad inward search of your life and what it holds and maybe ask your wife to do the same.You may clear the air within yourselves and between each other so the problem goes away. </s>

<s>[INST] My coworkers are making false statements about me to the boss, saying I have mood swings. They have no proof to back it up. Can my employer make me see a therapist of their choice? [/INST] If this is a concern of a few coworkers, make sure it is not something they see but you don't admit to.  Employers can "suggest" or something "stipulate" in continued employment with them  for you to go to their Employment Assistance Provider (EAP) if they have noticed the same behavior and concerned of how it is effecting productivity or employee relationships.  No one wants to work in a environment which they consider hostile.  Employers can be held responsible if they do not take action.Couple of things you can do...Ask a coworker in which you trust and respect if what others are saying is true?Seek professional help from your primary care provider or counselor if mood swings do exist.      </s>

<s>[INST] I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job. People keep telling me I have "anxiety" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do? [/INST] Anxiety often occurs when big or unexpected changes come to our lives, like having new jobs, relocating, or assuming new roles. Notice if your anxiety feels like excitement, concerns, or fear.It seems like you are excited about your new job, but worried because OTHERS are telling you that you have anxiety.   Let's notice how other‘s input is affecting your thoughts and maybe causing more anxiety that you may really have.   If you are indeed experiencing anxiety, that does not mean that you will have panic attacks.   But if you are experiencing panic attacks, or suffer them at some point, you could learn how to reduce them either with therapy or medication.You can learn how to process it depending what triggers it and channel it, in a useful way.  For example, you could plan a schedule around your new job and be meticulous about it because you are worried about how your new job may affect your routine, or, you could feel overwhelmed with your schedule, focus on the feeling, but not do anything about it.  Notice the difference?  The key is in recognizing if you are anxious about something that you can change or have control over it, and take action if you do, and recognizing when you cannot control things and be OK with not being in control.I teach clients how to use meditation and cognitive reframing techniques to help calm anxiety symptoms.  If you are interested in engaging in counseling or teletherapy you may contact me at 787-466-5478.I wish you success on your new journey!Estoy preocupada por mi nuevo trabajoLa gente me dice que tengo ansiedad y estoy aterrorizada de tener un ataque de pánico en la carretera.  Esto es nuevo par a mí. ¿Que puedo hacer?La ansiedad ocurre comúnmente cuando llegan cambios grandes o inesperados en nuestras vidas, como tener un nuevo empleo, mudarse o asumir nuevos roles.Al parecer estás emocionada por tu nuevo trabajo, pero preocupada por que OTROS te dicen que tienes ansiedad.  Notemos como la opinión de otros esta influenciando tus pensamientos y tal vez te puede estar causando más ansiedad de lo que realmente tienes.  Si realmente estas pasando por un periodo de ansiedad, no es necesario que vayas a experimentar ataques de pánico.  Pero si ya los haz experimentado puedes utilizar terapia o medicamentos para controlarlos.Nota si tu ansiedad se siente emocionante, preocupada o temerosa.  Puedes aprender a procesar estos sentimientos dependiendo que pensamiento los causen y canalizar la ansiedad de manera productiva.  Por ejemplo: te puedes enfocar en organizar una agenda porque te preocupa como tu nuevo empleo afectara tu rutina diaria.  O te puedes sentir agobio respecto a cómo tu trabajo afecta tu rutina, y no hace nada más que preocuparte constantemente.  ¿Notas la diferencia?  La clave está en saber cuándo te preocupas  por algo que puedes cambiar, y tomar acción; vs. cuando te preocupas  por algo que no puedes cambiar y aceptar que no lo puedes cambiar.Le enseño a mis pacientes a  usar técnicas de meditación y re enfoque cognitivo para manejar síntomas de ansiedad  y desorden de pánico.  Si te interesa una cita de consejería o tele-terapia me puedes contactar al 787-466-5478. ¡Mucho éxito en tu nueva jornada! </s>

<s>[INST] I use to be so happy. No matter what, I always was happy. I got into a relationship with this guy. I love him so much. We’re both teenagers. The week after his birthday, my mom made me stop talking to him. It broke me. He came to my house and talked to her, and she let us date again but not see each other. He comes up to my school every day and it tears me apart that I have to lie to her. [/INST] Hi Los Angeles, I can tell you have a moral backbone because it's hurting you to lie to your mom. I always say that a little bit of guilt is healthy because it teaches us who we want to be. Listen to that voice. You don't have to lie to your mom to get what you want.Now, you don't say how old you are, so part of my answer is going to be a bit vague. There's a big difference between being thirteen and your mom telling you what to do and being nineteen and your mom telling you what to do. The thing is that moms and dads start out making all your decisions for you when you're small, and they're supposed to, very gradually, give that control over to you. Different parents do this at different speeds, but in general you have to earn that freedom and trust...it's not just gonna be handed over to you. You might not like this part...your parent has the right to make the rules. My guess is there's a reason why mom is holding you back. Even if it doesn't make sense to you, breaking her rules isn't going to get you what you want...which is freedom, right? I guarantee you that mom wants you to eventually earn freedom...but she's not supposed to give it to you until you're ready because her first job is to keep you safe. I like that your mom has limits for you. Too many parents are sort of looking the other way, busy with their own thing. Whether you know it or not, you need protection like all kids do (appropriate for your age, of course).It sounds like what you want to say to your mom is "I want to make my own decisions about who I spend time with". That's a normal wish, and I encourage you to say that to her. Depending on your age and whether you've earned it, she might listen. So, you're sending her that message that you want to send, but you're doing it in a sneaky way, and that's not going to go well when she finds out. It's called "passive aggressive" when you say something with a sneaky behaviour rather than with words. It's not a very healthy way of sending a message, because people feel disrespected. My guess is that your best bet is to be honest with mom, stop the sneaking around and come up with a detailed plan of how you're going to earn your freedom...eventually. She might listen to that. </s>

<s>[INST] How do you know you have the right therapist for you? How would I know how to "train" my therapist to be able to give me what I need from treatment? [/INST] Such a good question!  Sometimes, clients will feel like they are not connecting with their therapist and will put it on themselves.  In truth, the bond between therapist and client is the #1 predictor of positive outcomes in therapy.  Ask yourself these questions: does it feel like this person can come to care about me?  Do they remember from week to week what we touched on?  Do I feel compassion from this person? Do they allow me my difficult and painful feelings too, or do they try to rescue me?  On your other question - I suggest you ask your therapist what goals he/she has for your treatment.  See if they respond with interest and participation, or if they become clinical and distant.  Ideally, you and your therapist jointly develop your goals, and check on your progress on a frequent basis.  I don't know if you can actually 'train' your therapist - we can be a hard bunch to train! :-)  - but you can definitely tell your therapist what works for you, and what didn't work, at the end of each session.  How they react will also tell you a lot about whether this is the right person for you. </s>

<s>[INST] My husband cheated on me and it hurt me very bad. It was a time when my health was poor. I'm have a hard time moving on. [/INST] How has your husband acted since then? Was he regretful? How did you find out? Did he confess? These are all things that you want to consider. Betrayal is very hard to get over so if it's taking you awhile to get over, know that this is normal.Hopefully you're husband has been very regretful and upfront and honest with you since this happened. It may take awhile to reestablish your trust with him and he should understand this. It's also very important to discuss WHY he cheated. You want to make sure that the reasoning behind this was not something that could arise again in the future. And if it can, there needs to be an action plan in place (i.e. being honest with how he's feeling) so that you both get a chance to rectify the situation.If the cheating has happened more than once, you may want to reevaluate your reasoning for staying in the marriage. It would be obvious that he did not truly regret what he had done or else he wouldn't repeat the same mistake. However, if it was a single event and he has shown you and continuously shows you that he genuinely loves you and is sorry for his mistake, I would give it a try. People do make mistakes and sometimes it takes an event like this to realize what you have.Know that it takes time and that you have the right to feel what you feel. If the relationship was a good, healthy relationship, it is worth saving. Ease back into it and be upfront with your feelings. In return, your husband should be patient and understanding of this. Also, marriage counselors are often a good go-to as they have a great deal of experience working with marriages in similar situations. Best of luck to you! </s>

<s>[INST] Does counseling really do anything that can help people? [/INST] Hi there! Thank you for your question. It's a great question and one that many people want to know the answer to. The short answer is, YES! Counseling can be very helpful to people struggling with many different things. There has been a lot of research conducted to prove that counseling is an effective way to help people with mental health concerns, life stressors, and many other issues. In addition, there are many people who would tell you that counseling made a positive, profound impact on their lives. Indeed, some would tell you that counseling saved their lives. Now, not everyone would tell you that counseling helped. But when you think about it, there are many medical treatments for a variety of healthcare issues that also do not help everyone. So, is counseling guaranteed? No. But, it is something that is worth trying if someone is suffering or is just wanting some perspective or support. Also, there is many different types of counseling. Different counselors have different styles and have different training for various issues. This means that you are likely to find someone who has a good style and expertise in an area that you want to work on. If you don't know where to go, I suggest contacting your state's counseling association. They can help. I think the real question that most people have is, how? How does it help? That question is a bit more complicated, because there are many different models of counseling/therapy that work in different ways. What I can tell you is that, regardless of the model of counseling, the relationship between counselor and client is the most important factor. I don't mean that the relationship has to be ooowy goowy... but it does have to be one where there is trust and openness. A counselor will spend time to make sure that you are working together as a team toward a common goal. If you go to counseling and you don't feel this is the case, tell your counselor. An ethical counselor will welcome your feedback. I hope this is helpful, please ask more questions! I hope some colleagues add some other thoughts, too. Be well,Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPCC, NCC </s>

<s>[INST] My husband used a lot of negative words to hurt me, and I moved out. He is seeing a counselor and wants another chance to make things right. I'm not sure if I trust that he will not go back to his old ways. [/INST] I am glad he is seeing a counselor.  That is something that most men struggle with doing at times.  Time will tell if his actions are of good intentions.  However remember that a person can only do to you what you allow them to do in relationships.   What part did you play?  Did you down play his disrespect at one time?  Did you give up the power of your own voice?  Did you lose yourself in the relationship and it became just one sided?  Did you allow him to make you doubt yourself?   In others words, if you do decide to give him another chance, what would you do different?  Not saying that you are the blame or cause of the negative words AT ALL, but don't allow such disrespect from him or anyone else in the future.  If you do decide to give it another try, go in with a voice, with the demand of respect, with your needs and wants expressed and expected.  With an increase in your self worth and confidence, you will know what to do if his actions are true or if with dishonest intentions.   Seek counseling as well, if you need that additional support to find self.  </s>

<s>[INST] After I told them, they yelled at me. [/INST] It's most important that you accept yourself and surround yourself with a group of friends who are kind to you and love you. Family hearing news of any kind for the first time if they are an anxious type of character, will always be tough to digest. Time is important to let it all settle in and also making sure you're taking good care of yourself... I think you're brave and I give you a lot of credit for not denying who you are -- you will inspire so many people to do the same in your life. Wishing you all the best. Gina </s>

<s>[INST] It was over 20 years ago, but the pain has resurfaced again now because I have started seeing her Facebook posts about how great her life is. I feel so angry. How can I handle this? [/INST] First thing that you must realize is that most people only post the "best parts" of their lives on Facebook, some people even go so far as to make their lives seem better or more interesting and post mostly false views of their life. Facebook is watered down, candied version of our life, you put on there only what you want people to see. The questions you should ask is "How have I grown from this?", Is my marriage currently in a good place? I really wish there was some form of magic that could be performed to solve peoples issues and help them sort out their emotions and troubles, however there is not, the closest we can get is by using {time and insight} to heal our wounds. </s>

<s>[INST] The sounds of eating and breathing gives me headaches—mostly mouth breathing and snoring. It makes me angry, and I want to solve it myself. [/INST] Probably good to know in what type of situations you are, in which you are hearing mouth breathing and snoring.If you're sleeping beside your partner who does these actions, would have a different response than if you overhear mouth breathing and snoring from a family member who is napping on the couch and you are walking past them on your way to take a snack in the kitchen.Basically, if the person who does these actions which bother you, start by telling them.Depending on whether they are empathetic to how distressed you are from their sounds, or not, willing to change, or not, has a good deal to do with next steps.I don't really see any step you're able to take to solve that you are sensitive to human sounds from the head.One path I don't recommend is expecting yourself to ignore the fact of being feeling bothered, or dismissing your own sensitivity someone.Your needs matter. </s>

<s>[INST] I'm in my late teens and live with my dad. The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them, but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. Sometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right. Are they right, am I depressed? [/INST] I would not focus on what other people say. Do you feel what you have described impacts your day to day functioning? Try to evaluate how is your self esteem, motivation and self confidence. How about negative thoughts or hopelessness? Any concerns about your grades sliding down? If you answered yes to any questions, may be its time to see a counsellor. </s>

<s>[INST] I started dating my fiancé two years ago. My first cousin is married to my fiancé’s sister. There has always been a communication issue between my uncle and aunt and my cousin and his wife. My uncle goes to my mom instead of talking to my cousin, and it upsets my mom. [/INST] Based on the information provided, this is an issue with boundaries.   Sounds like your uncle goes to your mom and possibly your mother takes the issues to you.  I do not like to assume so I will direct you to information regarding families dealing with enmeshment and triangulation.  Enmeshment is the concept of diffused boundaries in families and other personal relationships.  Triangulation is two individuals relaying information to a third party what cannot be said directly to each other.  From someone who has dealt with both these issues on a personal level, being informed about family dynamics is beneficial and can help you develop healthy boundaries for yourself within your family structure.  You may need assistance with developing healthy boundaries.  Although it is possible, it is not easy to change the way you have been operating for any extended amount of time.  Hope this help! </s>

<s>[INST] Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this? [/INST] There can be lots of different factors contributing to this. Here are some possible tips:Consider if you know anything about what specifically is making you feel sad? If you're looking for activities because you cannot participate in what you like to do in the warmer months, consider finding some indoor winter activitiesConnect with others. One idea is to join a group (such as a book club) that meets regularly. This could give you something to look forward to regardless of the colder weather.Enjoy the sunshine from indoors. You may notice that sometimes looks are deceiving women is bright and sunny outside, but is also quite cold when you open the door. If you are staying inside for the day, consider allowing yourself to enjoy the sunlight without specifically considering that it is also cold.Consider using a light box. Certain types of light boxes are designed to help with the "winter blues." You can find more information here: http://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/light-therapy/home/ovc-20197416Recently, one of the nurse practitioners that I work with has been checking a lot of vitamin D and vitamin B12 levels and she says the lower levels of these vitamins can contribute to feelings of less motivation or energy than is desired.Each of us has days when we are not thrilled about the weather and may be feeling sort of "bummed" or "down." If you find yourself having these days frequently or for several consecutive days in the above strategies are not helping, consider talking with a therapist about more specific strategies that may be of help to you. Also, because  if everything you would see is likely to live in your area, they would be familiar with the weather patterns where you are and may have some tips that they use for themselves or With other clients. </s>

<s>[INST] I'm always told I'm not good enough or trying hard enough. I put 100% in to every thing. I'm worn out, I've worked on all of my family relationships, I'm doing great in school, I'm kind to those in need and otherwise. I stick to my religious beliefs and leave room for mistakes and learn from others so I don't have to make as many and the ones I do I learn from. Somehow it's still not good enough and nothing I do works. Nothing has changed, and I feel hopeless. Any suggestions or ideas? [/INST] Hello, and let me say first, what a great question! There are so many people putting forth their 100% everyday and often times, do not get the credit they deserve. Without being able to fully understand where you're question is coming from, I think there are a couple of different ways to look at this question.First, I think it's important for us to consider the message being sent by those in your life stating that you're "not good enough." Is that ACTUALLY what they said, or is this just what you heard? Sometimes, because of our own self-doubts and fears, we skew and misinterpret the messages we receive from others. Again, listen to the message being sent and attempt to remain objective. Is the message being sent coming from a place of love or concern? If so, have an honest and open communication with that individual about what your concerns are regarding the amount of energy and time you're spending on being "good enough." Explore with them how you feel you'r already giving your best.If the person is unwilling to work at understanding this concern you have, then it may be time to explore the relationship. Some relationships we engage in can be toxic, especially if the other person is toxic. It may be they have their own "stuff" going on and they feel the need to constantly put others down to make themselves feel better. If you're in the direct path of this individual, then it serves to reason you will probably be in the direct fire, as well. Explore whether or not you want this relationship to continue in your life. If it's a relationship that MUST continue, then work on what you will do to distance yourself from their toxicity or their problems. Until they're willing to work on these issues for themselves, then it may be necessary to find an exit strategy, such as leaving the room or simply refusing to engage in the conversation. Another perspective of this question is exploring the reason why it's important for YOU to satisfy the expectations of these other individuals? NO ONE will ever be 100% "good enough" for EVERYONE. Every single person has their own set of expectations in themselves and expectations in others. It would be impossible to satisfy all of those expectations for every single person in our lives. The question becomes, what is it WITHIN you that feels the need to meet these expectations? There is most likely a part of you, yourself, as an individual that feels "less than" and feels as if you, yourself, are not good enough. It then becomes impossible to every feel "good enough" for others, because it's really YOU you're trying to feel good enough for. If you already feel as if you're doing everything you can do to be at your best version of yourself, then really work on LETTING GO of the rest. No one is perfect, and striving for perfection in our lives only creates more anxiety and stress. Find a middle ground in which you are happy with your accomplishments and your daily goals, and learn to let go of what's left. After all, tomorrow is a new day and you can work on more of your goals tomorrow!I recommend doing this by finding a mantra, a statement or phrase you can repeat to yourself anytime you start to feel that sense of stress and pressure from striving for perfection. The mantra can remind you to let go of this expectation you have for yourself or that others have for you so you can also let go of the stress and anxiety surrounding the expectation. I leave you with one of my favorite quotes that perhaps you can use as your mantra, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. " - Eleanor Roosevelt. </s>

<s>[INST] My motivation has gone away. It's hard to get out of bed. I really don't know what to do anymore. I'm miserable. My anxiety and depression have taken over my life. [/INST] One of the first steps is to manage anxiety and depression symptoms are to establish a good self-care routine.  Start with the most basic things: Eating balanced meals, sleeping at from 6-8 hours and exercise at least 30 minutes a day.  These will help you to regulate the chemical imbalance that affects your mood, plus exercising gives you time to vent and be distracted from your thoughts.  Once basic self-care is established, I suggest that is a good time to start exploring the source of these feelings, and address them trough therapy.  If you have difficulty initiating self-care routine talk to your therapist about what motivates you and pushes you to do things, you might find the key during the process.  You could also contact your physician or a psychiatrist to discuss medication options if it’s too challenging to begin basic self-care.¿Cómo puedo manejar mi ansiedad y depresión para sentirme normal otra vez?Mi motivación se ha ido. Es difícil salir de la cama.  No sé qué hacer.  Soy Miserable.  Mi ansiedad y depresión han tomado el control de mi vida.Uno de los primeros pasos para manejar la ansiedad y la depresión es establecer una buena rutina de cuidado personal.  Comienza con las cosas más básicas: Comer comidas balanceadas, dormir de 6-8 horas en la noche, y ejercitarte por lo menos 30 minutos al día. Esto te ayudara a regular el desbalance químico que afecta tu estado de ánimo, además de que te da tiempo para desahogarte y distraerte.  Ya que la rutina de cuidado eta establecida, es un buen momento para comenzar a explorar la fuente de tus sentimientos negativos, y explóralos a través de terapia. Si se dificulta comenzar a crear una rutina puedes consultar con tu terapista para identificar motivaciones que te impulsen a comenzar.  También puedes contactar a tu medico primario o psiquiatra para discutir medicamentos que te pueden ayudar a manejar estos síntomas e iniciar cuidado básico.  </s>

<s>[INST] Does counseling really do anything that can help people? [/INST] I believe that counseling (and finding a GOOD therapist) will be of significant help when the individual seeking therapy desires change, improvement, and overall growth. Most counseling involves homework and a level of commitment outside of session that also contributes to resolution of problems and an ability to cope with stresses in a productive way. Here are some of the key ways that therapy can help. 1. Helps to define the problem and gain a clearer understanding of where it originates. Many people seek counseling because of symptoms they are experiencing. These can include feeling sad, increased sleeping, substance use, panic attacks, self-harm, isolating one’s self, academic decline, etc. Often times, people are not aware of what is causing these symptoms. Having a therapist to help guide and explore why the symptoms are occurring and where they come from will give individuals increased insight and awareness into their problems. 2. Allows for a safe outlet to vent. Not everyone likes to share their problems with close friends or family members. Maybe they don’t want others to know of their flaws. Maybe they don’t want to burden others with their problems. Or maybe they just are not comfortable talking about themselves. And in some situations people do not have the option of talking with someone they know because they have no friends or family. While talking with those we know can help bring some relief it is also nice to talk with someone like a therapist who is objective and emotionally removed from given situations. Counseling gives a safe outlet in which one can express their personal feelings and thoughts without feeling judged. 3. Counselors can offer various problem solving solutions. A good therapist usually will not directly point their client in the direction they need to go. Counseling is about growth and teaching the client to identify triggers and use effective coping strategies that will bring about emotional and psychological relief. Counselors will help clients to explore the various options available in given situation, based on the client’s needs, wants, and values and will help them to choose the option that best fits with their desired outcome. 4. Gives one the tools needed to cope with current and future problems. Many individuals that seek therapy have never learned good coping strategies. Perhaps they did not have parents or caretakers to model productive ways to cope or maybe the symptoms they are suffering from are overbearing and take away the energy needed to cope. Different diagnoses require different tools; however some are beneficial for any problem and any individual. These include but are not limited to relaxation techniques, breathing exercises, development of healthy routines, using mindfulness, improving communication skills, and recognizing and changing maladaptive thought patterns. A good counselor will teach clients how to use these tools, will often practice them during session, and will assign homework for further practice and mastery of the skills.   </s>

<s>[INST] I have a mother who is still running my life even though I'm almost 30 years old. I want to move out and live my own life, but it feels like as long as I do what my mom wants our relationship is okay. It's never okay if I don't do what she wants. I don't know how to start making my own decisions and not worry about whether it's right in her eyes. Would it help for me to talk to someone about this? [/INST] If the only way the relationship you have with your mother feels "okay" is when she is the only one who makes decisions concerning your life, then this only seems ok.In fact it is not okay for one person to be the authority for another person unless the one for whom this is being done, does not have their own ability to think for themselves.Separating your own wishes and way of handling life matters, from your mother's point of view, may be difficult.First, realize you need to get familiar with feeling at ease with the idea of deciding matters for yourself.You'll need practice until you feel comfortable.Unless, if you've been thinking through decisions you'd like to make and the idea of your mother's anger is the only point which stopped you, then you may almost instantly start living in a liberated way of running your own life.Basically, it is right and fair for you to have the chance to live your life the way you feel is best.   Be prepared that your mother may disagree with you and that her disagreement is not a reason itself to not do what you believe is in your best interest. </s>

<s>[INST] I have a fear of something and I want to face that fear to overcome it, but I don't know how. What can I do? [/INST] Biologically, fear is designed to protect us from harm. Fear is not always a bad thing, and in fact can be quite healthy and appropriate depending on the situation. A phobia, however, is different. You used the term "fear" rather than "phobia". A phobia is an irrational fear - meaning it is not rational for you to fear that thing. If your situation is a phobia, exposure therapy can help. This consists of gradually exposing yourself a little at a time to the thing you are afraid of. Some people with phobias find that the irrational fear interferes with their life and they do need to overcome it. Someone who is afraid to drive over bridges may go to great lengths to avoid routes that have bridges. People who are afraid of elevators may always use the stairs instead, which may not always be feasible. If overcoming a phobia will improve the quality of your life, then by all means, seek professional help to overcome it.Everyone has fears, or things that make them nervous. Public speaking, asking a person out, fear of failure. Examine what your fear is and try to determine the reason for the fear. When you can get to the root cause of the fear, you can deal with that issue. A lot of times, it is a self-esteem issue. You may be able to peel back the layers of the fear and find out what's causing it and deal with the real issue. Some fears are caused by trauma. Someone with PTSD is going to have an exaggerated fear response and will find themselves being kicked into "fight or flight" mode over things that someone without the trauma experience wouldn't notice or react to. In cases like this, exposure therapy would be the wrong approach and could actually make things worse. If there is a possibility that a past trauma is the cause of your fear, I strongly urge you to seek a therapist - not just any therapist, but one who is trained to work with trauma and abuse victims. </s>

<s>[INST] Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this? [/INST] First of all, it is excellent that you are self aware and able to identify the pattern to your moods. Many people suffer from the winter blues, which is called Seasonal Affective Disorder.  Some people notice that during the Fall and Winter months, they tend to struggle with signs and symptoms of depression such as sadness or hopelessness, lethargy, sleeping to much or too little, changes in appetite, loss of interest in usual interests, and possibly suicidal thoughts.  It would be best to consult with a therapist experienced in this disorder, as they will be able to guide you towards possible solutions such as changing negative thought patterns, light therapy, exercise, nutritional support, and possibly medication. </s>

<s>[INST] I have been with my husband for almost 7 years. We got engaged a little after 5 years of being together. I had always been clear that I wanted to get married and I sadly would drop hints about how i wanted him to propose. When he did propose it was during a random vacation that I had planned. I was happy but I couldn't help feeling disappointed too. I had told him numerous times before that I wanted him to do it in front of my friends and family. I know it sounds dumb to be upset but I couldn't help how I was feeling. We are now married but the wedding and ring were also far from what I wanted and it wasn't due to lack of funds. I know this is all material and the marriage is the most important thing but I cant help but get jealous and envious every time I see someone get a proposal or wedding that I had wanted. I cant help my anger because I know we only get one proposal and one wedding. What I wanted will never happen. I have been working on my feelings for the past year and half to get over it. I try to focus on our marriage but every time I see someone have the best proposals and weddings I get upset. I know it is selfish and I know its petty but I just can't control it. It's ruining our relationship because I constantly think about it. Plus, I get mad at him for small things because I am trying to hide the fact that I am so disappointed. Why can't I move on? [/INST] It's hard to let go of the dreams you had regarding your wedding and engagement. This was something that you and most women think about for years, so it's understandable to be disappointed. But please be aware that it is rare that any wedding is perfect. You may envy your friends' weddings but more than likely they had a few mishaps of their own and/or it wasn't as perfect as they had planned it either. However, like you know, the marriage is the most important thing. How many women are envious that you are in a happy, stable relationship? I assure you that there are plenty. Try to live in the present considering that dwelling on the past can still not change how you were proposed to or how your wedding day transpired. Focus on what you can control NOW. Perhaps, you can plan an extravagant renewal of your vows or change the look of your ring?I would also be upfront with your husband and explain why you've been short lately. But after that, close that chapter and move on. It sounds like you have a wonderful companion and you certainly don't want to lose this due to a situation that is impossible to change. </s>

<s>[INST] I have so many issues to address. I have a history of sexual abuse, I’m a breast cancer survivor and I am a lifetime insomniac. I have a long history of depression and I’m beginning to have anxiety. I have low self esteem but I’ve been happily married for almost 35 years. I’ve never had counseling about any of this. Do I have too many issues to address in counseling? [/INST] Everyone has topics to discuss when they start therapy.   There is no correct number of topics.youSometimes people go to therapy for one specific area of their life.   Not everyone has the time or interest to utilize therapy just when a significant topic arises in their life.Since you are one person, no matter how many or few topics you would like to address in therapy, all the topics relate to you.Possibly the result of your therapy will be more transformational than if you talked only on one topic.  Lucky you, to be on the cusp of clearing and resolving many vulnerabilities at once.   You will feel brand new by the time you finish your therapy work! </s>

<s>[INST] I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky. Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this? [/INST] of  I would love to know a little bit more about what's going on in your life but I will attempt an answer.Yes, you could still be shaky and nervous going to therapy. This therapy thing your doing is sometimes scary. First, because your opening up things that you might have never wanted to. Second, your still building a relationship with this therapist person. You may never get over that. The therapist really can't be your "friend". They are there to push the buttons that you might not want pushed and help you heal.  That in itself is scary and can make you anxious. Third, you really never know where this therapy thing will go. Yes, there are goals. But sometimes side roads need to be taken and sometimes that is scary.Know this you are in the right place. You are taking steps to change. </s>

<s>[INST] We're in an eight year relationship. My boyfriend drinks a lot. He experienced childhood trauma. I don't know how to deal with violent outbursts. [/INST] You shouldn't need to educate yourself on violent outbursts.  He is the one in the position to change his violent outbursts.   They are his behavior, not yours.  All you're trying to do is have a relationship with this guy.The one task to do is during a quiet time to tell your boyfriend the way you feel about his outbursts.His answer, whether he denies having a problem, blames you for his problem, tells you the problem isn't so bad, why are you complaining, tells you a lot about his willingness to change.Whether or not he considers himself to have a problem and wants to change himself, is very good for you to know.This tells you what to expect from him in future.   You can reflect and plan ahead for your own life depending on your tolerance and willingness to live with what he answers you. </s>

<s>[INST] I am so terrified of having sex anymore because I have been told over and over that sex is dangerous even though me and my partner used both forms of protection. My partner is not happy about this and simply wants more sex, and honestly, I want to give that to her. [/INST] I am wondering who is telling you that sex is dangerous.  Is this medical advice, or is this someone’s opinion trying to scare you from having sex?  And if so, how old are you? Is it ok to have sex, do you want to have sex?  It sounds like you want to make your partner happy, and that you are taking care of protecting yourself and your partner, but maybe you are forgetting to consider what do you really want.  Having sexual relations is a very personal decision; you and your partner have to consent.  It is also important to talk about the possible consequences and being responsible for them as well.  But sex should be something that you enjoy, not that you should be fearful of.  A therapist can help you to process those negative thoughts and feelings that may impair you from enjoying your sexual life. ¿Cómo puedo superar mi miedo de un embarazo no deseado y poder tener sexo otra vez?Estoy aterrorizado de tener sexo porque me han dicho una y otra vez que el sexo es peligroso, inclusive cuando yo y mi pareja usamos dos métodos de protección.  Mi pareja no está contenta y simplemente quiere más sexo, y honestamente, yo quiero darle lo que ella quiere.Me pregunto quién te está diciendo que el sexo es peligroso.  ¿Esto es aviso medico, o es alguien intentando asustarte para que no tengas relaciones?  ¿Y si es así, que edad tienes?  ¿Es apropiado que tengas sexo a tu edad?  ¿Quieres tener sexo? Me parece que estas enfocado en hacer feliz a tu pareja, y te estás protegiendo y protegiéndola, pero tal vez están olvidando analizar que tu quieres realmente.  Recuerda que tener una relación sexual es una decisión personal, en la que tú y tu pareja deben de estar de acuerdo.   También es importante hablar de las posibles consecuencias de tener relaciones, como un embarazo, y discutir sus opciones e intenciones, si eso ocurriera.  Ya que han tenido comunicación al respecto, el sexo debe ser algo que disfruten,  no que temen.  Un terapista te puede ayudar a procesar esos pensamientos negativos y los sentimientos que te pudieran impedir disfrutar de tu vida sexual. </s>

<s>[INST] I'm in my late teens and live with my dad. The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them, but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. Sometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right. Are they right, am I depressed? [/INST] The answer to the question of whether or not you're depressed, is less meaningful than what you are doing to feel strong and secure in your life.Otherwise, people shortcut themselves to go deeper in understanding who they are and what they'd like to do with their lives, and accept "depression" as though it is their new name.What you write sounds like classic depression.What to do about this feeling is to get closer to yourself in an accepting way.  Assume that what you do in daily living is somehow necessary.  Unless you are doing immoral or illegal actions to other people, to accept your own wishes as truth will open you to appreciate why you do what you do.Make believe you're interesting and find out more about who you are, if you have trouble to start with thinking of yourself as worth understanding.The more you appreciate who you are and your unique strengths, vulnerabilities and fears, the more these will dissolve by what seems on their own.In fact they will disappear bc you are believing in yourself and your ways.Good luck! </s>

<s>[INST] I keep getting into relationships with men that are in bad situations. I take them on and help them and do all I can and the relationship still fails. How do I learn to not get in relationships with men in bad situations? I see someone in need of help, I jump in. And it is getting me nowhere. I am alone sad and frustrated. [/INST] Sounds like you already see what's amiss. You're looking for fix-er-uppers! When you meet these men they need you. And you're filled by fixing them.  And when they are fixed, what do they have to give you? What's your need in relationship? What if you found someone who didn't need fixing? </s>

<s>[INST] My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines. [/INST] If your daughter is the same age as most of the other students in her class, and the other students easily complete the tasks you list here, then there is a problem in the performance of these tasks for your daughter.Without knowing more about the context of your daughter's life, for example, is she a new student to the school and class, are there major stressors in the home environment, does your daughter have friends, does your daughter have the same problems she has in school, when she is in other environments?Also, who is telling you she has these problems?  Are you the one who notices what you describe here or is your daughter or is her teacher telling you these facts?Depending on your answers to the questions, start to get clarity with the classroom teacher and the school guidance counselor as to the source of your daughter's problem.Good luck! </s>

<s>[INST] How does a counselor decide when to end counseling sessions or to terminate working with a client? [/INST] I will work with clients and continually review progress with them and determine if counseling is helping.  If a client appears to have less to talk about in sessions, appears more stable for a period of time and has reached therapeutic goals I will talk about termination.  Some clients however I may continue with on a monthly or bi monthly process to allow for check-ins to see how they are doing and if they need more help at that time. </s>

<s>[INST] I'm in my early 20s, and I've been seeing my boyfriend for a year now. My boyfriend has always been the sweetest guy until recently. He has made comments such as “you would look better as a Tumblr girl" or "you should start doing more squats." It's really hurtful. [/INST] My first thought was that I wondered what changed recently. Is he open to having a discussion about this so you can ask questions such as that one?It's possible that he does not understand the degree to which it hurts you.Try asking if there is a time that would be good to have a discussion that is important. I don't know how well the two of you have communicated over the last year, but if you are concerned about this turning into an argument, you may consider asking him to just listen to your point of view and see if he is able to summarize it correctly. Then you can listen to his side of the concern. </s>

<s>[INST] My life is completely normal, yet I feel empty inside. I feel as if I already know why I'm alive: to reproduce and die. [/INST] Are there any times or moments in which you feel other than "empty"?  Start with knowing the context of when you feel something other than empty.If there is no recent example, then in your mind, go back in time to think of when you felt something other than empty.  Recall what you liked about this time, whether you were by yourself or with others, what type of activity you were involved at the time of non-emptiness.How did you come to your conclusion that your life purpose is to reproduce and die?  If this is what your parents, siblings and extended family believe, it is possible that you have a broader view of yourself and haven't yet uncovered a way of defining your own philosophy of living.Give yourself the time to browse around online, or in person social meet ups, on your interests.  It is possible you will discover entire new areas of life and ways of considering life, that are brand new to you and which connect to your true self.This is one way of respecting your individuality, which of itself, may decrease your sense of emptiness. </s>

<s>[INST] Does this go against any ethical codes? Are there legal ramifications? [/INST] Generally, the ethical codes only prohibit relationships with clients. There are however a few types of counselor-to-counselor relationships that are prohibited by the ethics codes. Such prohibited relationships include those between supervisors and supervisees; between professors and students; or any time the relationship might negatively impact your (or their) clients. Lastly, some workplaces have rules against dating coworkers. It would be a good idea to check if there is such a rule that applies to you.  </s>

<s>[INST] I'm in a relationship with my fiancé and I currently found out that she's been cheating on me with a co-worker. I was very upset none the less. I understand what she did was wrong, but I want to spend the rest of my life with her. So I'm willing to forgive and move on. We have been together for a little over 9 years, and we have a son. At the beginning of our relationship, I was unfaithful and she caught me cheating. She forgave me for what I've done to her and since then I been completely faithful. I'm worried about our relationship and want to move forward but its been very unsettling. All I can think about is her with another man. I don't know what to do or where to go for advice? [/INST] I'm sorry for the stress and unhappiness stemming the problem you describe.Trust your instinct that there is more complexity to feeling good about being in a partnership than simply wanting this to happen.In any relationship, the complexities of each person combine.   Often people accept when this feels good and are lost as to what to do when natural human complexity, doesn't match up with our partner in the way we'd like.A couples' therapist would be able to help each of you talk about the factors motivating the cheating, as well as clarify the reasons you each have for continuing to stay together. The unique advantage of couple's therapy is that each person is able to hear their partner talk out loud about themselves and their partner.This is sometimes enormously helpful since our inner thoughts are often hidden yet very dominant in how we direct ourselves in relationships.Sometimes the initial consult session offers enough new understanding that a second session wouldn't be necessary for a while.Good luck in finding your relationship happiness! </s>

<s>[INST] How do you know you have the right therapist for you? How would I know how to "train" my therapist to be able to give me what I need from treatment? [/INST] How do you know anything is "right" for you? I think it's an intuitive process, and not always based on the objective expertise of the therapist, either (most psychotherapy research has concluded that the client-therapist relationship is the strongest factor in success in therapy.) But, in my view what is important to check-in with yourself around whether or not the therapist can hold space for all that you come in with (for example, not expressing discomfort with things you might talk about is a big "run away"), challenge you enough where you feel like it is challenging you to grow, but also where there is some part of you that does look forward to the sessions.How to "train" your therapist? This could be a session in and of itself I must say:) The therapist-client relationship can resemble many of the relationships in your life, or those that you seek out. A therapist, like anyone else in your life, won't be able to give you what you need 100% of the time and then expect that you will be able to function outside of the space. That can turn into a highly enabling process that won't help your other relationships. However, what the therapist can do, and help you deal with, is to tell you what they can and can't give you, and then process the disappointment that you feel when they can't be everything you might feel you need. </s>

<s>[INST] I get so much anxiety, and I don’t know why. I feel like I can’t do anything by myself because I’m scared of the outcomes. [/INST] This is a very common question in my practice. Panic attacks typically emerge from an underlying issue (ex. Depression, low self-esteem, fears). To decrease your anxiety symptoms it’s recommended to seek treatment with a therapist who specializes in working with anxiety disorders and most importantly one with whom you feel comfortable with.In my practice I educate clients about their anxiety and discuss building a framework with helpful tools for decreasing anxiety:1. Starting a daily mindfulness practice. For example: listening to guided meditation; engaging in deep breathing exercises; yoga practice; or other positive calming activities.2. Understand your negative and positive thoughts. Many times we tend to focus on the potential for bad things to happen. Increase positive self-talk when feeling down or when anxious. For example: "I don't need to worry, I am calm and relaxed". 3. Exposure to fearful or anxious situations. This can be accomplished under the care of a mental health professional. Many times we shy away from things that make us feel uncomfortable or insecure. This may led to an increase in isolating behaviors resulting in difficulty in performing things we were once able to do. For example: leaving the house; presenting in front of others; going to social events; and having conversations with people. However, the more we expose ourselves and practice the use of our positive coping skills (ex. deep breathing) the chances of anxiety will decrease. I hope this was helpful. Keep in mind, a therapist can help with guiding you through self relaxation and improvement. </s>

<s>[INST] My husband and I had our first threesome recently. Everyone was drinking and he was on her more then me. He and I talked about it afterwards and it made me feel better, and now I'm craving more of it. But before it gets close to happening I get this empty feeling. Why am I feeling this way? [/INST] Because the acrobatics and excitement of sex has nothing to do with the meaning of deeper emotional attachment to another person with whom we are in a relationship.Try to distinguish between your feelings of excitement from the novel sexual arrangement and what you feel is necessary in order to feel emotionally close and attached to your husband. </s>

<s>[INST] I am on the track and softball team. My school is small, so I play all four sports it offers. I feel obligated to do track because I'm not a horrible runner, and my dad wants me to. The catch is is that the days before a track meet and the morning of, I get sick and cry. [/INST] It sounds like you are no longer committed to track emotionally.  It can be hard to talk to your dad about this, but he may think you love track and may not know you are getting so upset the days of meets.  An idea would be to first write a letter to your dad to see what feelings come out and then preparing to speak with him.  I think he will appreciate your honesty and maybe this conversation will bring you relief and also time to find something you really will enjoy. </s>

<s>[INST] I'm always listening to my husband, but it feels like he never listens to me. How do I get my husband to listen to me instead of me listening to him all the time? [/INST] Have the two of you ever discussed how you feel?  I know given the nature of your question that's probably not likely, but I'm going to suggest it any way.  He needs to understand that how you feel about this issue equates to not being as happy in the relationship as you could be or he thinks you are.  So start there, that may be more of an attention getter than "you never listen to me" yes I do etc.  Direct opener:  I'm not as happy in this relationship as I think we both deserve.  Pause, and if you won't let me talk about it then it's only going to get worse.  Then explain you don't feel listened to, you try to be a good listener but you don't feel you are getting the same in return.  If he interrupts put your hand up in the sign of a stop, then say please just let me finish.  You are right to raise this subject with him because a good marriage can't exist in a communication vacuum. In fairness to him, he needs to understand the seriousness of your concern and have a chance to do better.  If he refuses,  tell him you want to seek couples counseling then do it, with him or without him. </s>

<s>[INST] My fiancé and I have been together for 3 years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating, or should I just move on? [/INST] Finding out about an affair is quite an emotional experience. It's usually jarring. I encourage you to give yourself some compassion about emotions that you have.You asked whether it is possible to get past the cheating and the answer is that it can be. It depends on many factors.I would recommend that you see a therapist who specializes in working with couples. There are certain ways that both of you could learn more about yourselves and each other that may actually serve to make your relationship stronger. Sometimes there are motivations for having an affair that can be discussed in therapy in a way that you become more aware of what each other is experiencing and where you want to go from here. It could be that learning to communicate differently would be helpful.Regarding whether you should "just move on," I recommend talking about with a therapist as well. At the very least, you can discuss more about what you are thinking and feeling and what your choices are as far as where you want to go from here. </s>

<s>[INST] Hello, I have a cousin in my family who has been making me feel belittled, insecure, and frustrated during her stay here in the city. I know she comes from a place of love, but she has always been short-fused and highly temperamental if something doesn't work out the way she planned it. I have tried my best to coordinate plans with her, but she always ends up frustrated about the lack of communication I seem to have on my part and then makes condescending comments about my character that include: inconsiderate, negative, oblivious, and self consumed. I have tried to talk to her openly about this, but it always comes back as an attack on my character and I have never heard these comments from anyone else before. I have been thinking a lot about her comments and whether I truly am an inconsiderate person who is not thoughtful, spatially aware of surroundings/people, or positive, but in the end, I am feeling awfully hurt about how this has affected our relationship. What can I do? [/INST] Do you have a close friend or relative who's opinion you trust? Ask them for their honest feedback and if they see you like your cousin does. If they don’t see these qualities in you, then it may be your cousin’s issue and she’s taking it out on you. You can always ask her what would be the best way to communicate plans with her so you know, specifically, what she is expecting. Then if you meet these expectations and she still blames you and comments on how inconsiderate you are, it's her issue and she is not coming from a place of love.Even if you do resemble her comments, the way it sounds like she approaches this problem is not out of love. The fact that you're introspective enough to consider your own behavior suggests the problem is not with you.  </s>

<s>[INST] When my boyfriend gets in a snit, he gives me the silent treatment for days. When I ask what is wrong, I get nothing: no reply, no phone call. If he does reply, it is something very sarcastic and hurtful. He never admits he is wrong and never apologizes. [/INST]  This sounds very hurtful for you to be on the receiving end of this. You can ask yourself " what am I learning from the way I am being treated? "  and consider whether or not this is in fact either (1)  A message or value that you agree with and believe will strengthen your relationship and help you to grow as a person or (2)  A message or value that is damaging to the relationship or  to your view of your self and others.  Once you've considered that and come to your own conclusion, you will likely know what you need to do.  If you're still stuck, you may want to consider seeing an individual therapist for yourself  to process your feelings about the relationship or a couples therapist with your partner to work on improving your communication with each other.  </s>

<s>[INST] I have had a crush on this guy for years. I last talked to him a few years ago when we graduated from high school. We left off on a good note. Should I message him and see how he is doing, or is it too late? [/INST] It's never to late to let a person know how you feel.  You never know where it will take you.  You don't want to hold this regret of not letting your feelings known and wondering "what if" for the rest of your life.   That can be torturous.   Now prepare for whatever..if his feelings are the same or if they are not.  If they are the same...great.  If they are not, feel good that at least you let a person know they hold a special place in your life and wish him love, peace and happiness in his life.  </s>

<s>[INST] I think I have depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and I have anger issues. I told my mom over and over again. She told me she would get me a therapist, but she never did. I just found out that my mom can't afford a therapist for me. [/INST] It can be difficult to get counseling if you don't feel supported by family members.  There might be a few options.  If you are in school, I'd recommend talking to a school counselor or school nurse.  They often will be able to help you access free or affordable counseling resources in your community.  In addition, depending on where you live, it's also often possible to call 211 for referrals to free or low cost counseling services in your area.I'd encourage you not to give up. You are on the right track.  </s>

<s>[INST] Ever since my ex-boyfriend and I broke up, I can't seem to get close to anyone else. I know I'm completely over him, but I just can't break down my walls and let someone new into my life. [/INST] Hi Bend, You're scared, right? That makes sense. Each time we have a break-up we are a bit more in touch with how much is at stake in this whole love and relationship business. We are falling in love and letting someone close to our hearts and there's a vulnerability in that; we can get hurt. Who you partner with long-term is a big decision and it determines 90% of our happiness in life. The good news is that when we're just starting to get to know someone, we can take it slow. I think maybe you are slowing yourself down instinctively here, and that's okay. We are naturally people of attachment and it won't likely last if you are normally an open and accessible person who doesn't put up walls. So part of what I want to say here is don't pressure yourself too much. Take the time to heal naturally and listen to your instinct that is telling you to take things slow. :)As well, there are a few things you can do to make sure that the walls do eventually come down, or will come down for the right person. First, think about the lessons you learned from this past relationship. What do you feel proud of? What do you need in a partner? What mistakes did you make? Use this experience to grow in your awareness of how you work in a relationship and what you need from a partner.Look at your thoughts. Are you having generalized negative thoughts like "No one will ever love me again?", or "I'm going to get hurt again", or "I can't trust myself"? If so, write down what these thoughts are, and then ask yourself what evidence supports these thoughts. Fear tries to convince us that there is either something wrong with us or that something bad will happen, but it does so with little or no evidence of this ever happening!! It sells us a line based on no concrete evidence. Then ask yourself what evidence supports the opposite thought. What is the evidence that I am lovable... that there are safe, good people out there... that I can trust myself? Eliminate the negative thoughts, and add the positive ones. It's simple but very powerful.Lastly, take concrete and careful steps to act as though there are no walls. What is the evidence of the walls? Can you take purposeful baby steps in the direction of lowering those walls? When we act as though something is true, we start to feel it and believe it more.I hope you will find yourself back on track eventually, with time. :) </s>

<s>[INST] People who are parental figures in my life have, in the past, hurt me, and some continue to do so. It makes me feel like I'm not good enough for my husband or the life he provides me. I have had jobs, but I am going through a lot of my past garbage and trying to figure out when it all went wrong. Any time I bring these things up, I am expected to be over the issue. These are people that you can't just cut out, but I have never received apologies for so much of my pain. I don't know what to do any more. I don't know who I am anymore. [/INST] It sounds like you have been thinking about how past hurts have influenced you, and when you try to talk about these hurts with people in your life, you are feeling invalidated. It also sounds like current conflicts are continuing to leave you feeling hurt and devalued. In working with a therapist, you may be able to get some clarity about your past, who you are, and what kinds of boundaries you want in your relationships, so that you can lead a life that is more satisfying to you. </s>

<s>[INST] I have a friend that who I used to be in a relationship with. It was brief and turned into us being just good friends. I spent the weekend with him and it upset my boyfriend. Was i wrong? [/INST] The most important thing to ask yourself here is, "how did this action affect my relationship, and is it worth the consequences?" Regardless of your intentions in this action, your boyfriend is uncomfortable with this type of behavior. From here, we can objectively decide if spending time with your previous partner (because that is likely what your boyfriend sees them as) is worth harming the relationship you currently have. It is very rare that a person would be comfortable with their partner spending more than a very little amount of time with their exes. Many times, it just gives the wrong impressions. It is very possible that your partner may believe that since you spend so much time with them, that they are still a contender for the most intimate relationship you have to offer, and truth be told, they kind of are. The best intimate relationships, are friendships first and foremost. It is also a good thing to consider what you are getting out of the relationship with your ex that you are not getting out of the relationship with your current boyfriend. If you go to this person for emotional support before your boyfriend, then it is very likely you're involved in some "emotional infidelity". When we turn to others instead of our partner, it is as if we "ran into another person's arms" instead of theirs. No matter who you are, that hurts. </s>

<s>[INST] My husband and I got into a huge dispute. He said he wanted a divorce, and I left. I still come home a lot and see my kids, and he has not filed yet even though he still said he is. What does that mean for our marriage? [/INST] In situations like this, in most cases, he probably will not fill anytime soon. It's more of the fact that he isn't ready to give that life yet... Now if you probably pressured him about it then yes, he would probably give in.. But if it hasn't been a big issue anymore or something you guys aren't talking about, then right now.. Everything is on a hold. </s>

<s>[INST] Every time my partner gets angry for anything, she takes it out on me. Nothing I do is right, and once she's mad, she calls me all kinds of names and is verbally abusive. She says it isn’t abuse, it’s just angry verbal bashing, and that it’s different. It gets worse each time. The names are very vulgar now. [/INST] Ultimately it is only your partner who can decide whether to stop name calling or not.I would take very seriously that she doesn't show any willingness to hear and understand your point of view.In a relationship in which one person claims the right to verbally abuse the other, there isn't much genuine care and trust going on at all.It is never safe to open your heart to her since you can't tell in advance if you'll be treated with kindness or bashing.Think seriously how possible it is for you to enjoy your relationship if your partner is unwilling to accommodate your feelings.If the two of you are unable to agree on terms or discuss the problem as a mutual one, not just your problem, then you may wish to withdraw from the relationship. </s>

<s>[INST] I have been diagnosed with posttraumatic stress disorder due to my military experiences. Not a year ago, I had a car accident. Could this experience add more problems? [/INST] You are right on to recognize that the effects of trauma can be cumulative.  It is very possible that a car accident could lead to an increase in PTSD symptoms that were related to other traumatic experiences.If you have been deployed to a combat area, you are most likely eligible for free counseling services through the VA Vet Centers.  The Vet Center clinicians typically have a lot of experience working with military trauma. Here's a link to a directory of Vet Centers:http://www.va.gov/directory/guide/vetcenter.aspYour service and sacrifice is greatly appreciated.  </s>

<s>[INST] My boyfriend moved in with me a few months ago. I love him, but his dog is wrecking my house. Every day we get home, there is a huge mess on the floor, and several things will be ripped up (including the couch). He's slowly eating all of the doors, and there will be food and poop everywhere. Even though I come home during all of my breaks to take him out, he still poops and pees in the house every chance. I can't financially afford to have the dog wrecking my house. I've tried talking to my boyfriend about the dog to try and come up with a solution, but it never ends well. The dog is the only thing we fight about because I want him out of the house and my boyfriend doesn't want to see him go. It’s not the dog fault though; I understand that. The dog is only a year old, and he isn't a bad dog. He's just too big of a dog for where he is; he should be a farm dog instead of a town dog. I don't hate the dog, but I just can't afford to continue having my house torn to pieces. [/INST] Every living creature needs time and support to adjust to a new situation.The dog is in a new place without the ability to understand the reason.  This may explain what sounds like the dog's agitation.  Have you spoken with your boyfriend on his opinion on how to address the dog behavior problems?Finding an answer together would be a good way of making your relationship stronger.  A lot of being a couple who live together is talking, listening and deciding together on how to handle major situations.If it is affordable, then a dog behaviorist may be of great help.  The person would guide you in working with the dog to become calmer. </s>

<s>[INST] I have so many issues to address. I have a history of sexual abuse, I’m a breast cancer survivor and I am a lifetime insomniac. I have a long history of depression and I’m beginning to have anxiety. I have low self esteem but I’ve been happily married for almost 35 years. I’ve never had counseling about any of this. Do I have too many issues to address in counseling? [/INST] It's not really a question of whether you have too many issues for counseling but more what would you like to work on in counseling? You control the direction of sessions and depending on how you're feeling in a particular day can predict what direction that session takes. If you want to work on all the issues you've listed it will just take some dedication on your part to see through the counseling long enough to find a resolution to each of the issues that is satisfactory to you. You work at your own pace in counseling and it does seem like you may be overwhelmed with the ever-growing list. But you may just be in search of self improvement and making yourself better, which is a great thing. It seems as though you may need some form of resolution to what has happened in the past and to work through the trauma you have experienced. That may be the base of your counseling needs in which self esteem and depression/anxiety may fall underneath it as well. If you want to start counseling don't let what you need to work on overwhelm you. Find the counselor that best fits with you and together you both can tackle any issue. </s>

<s>[INST] What makes a healthy marriage last? [/INST] It's surprising how many folks talk too much on the subject;It's the same three things that make all relationships work:HonestyTrustRespect(in that order)Most folks fall down on the first :) (*coughcough* THERAPISTS!  Heh heh heh...) </s>

<s>[INST] I had to go to the emergency room today to get an X-ray of my spine. My boyfriend didn't want to sit there and wait with me. Instead, he wanted to go do things for his friends while I waited. When I was done, he was twenty minutes late in picking me up. He doesn't understand why I'm mad, and we keep bickering at each other over the smallest things. He thinks I don't have a reason to be mad, but I believe that I do. [/INST] It is extremely frustrating when our significant other doesn't understand our points of view. Often times, arguments are not the best opportunities to try and make a point, as strong emotions can get in the way of understanding others' perspectives. Try having a discussion with him about what is bothering you during a time when neither if you are upset or arguing. Communicate how you feel without placing blame and without yelling. Addionally, give him ideas of what he can do differently so that he understands what your expectations are. Lastly, consider seeing a couple's therapist who can assist with teaching more effective communication techniques. Best of luck. </s>

<s>[INST] I have so many issues to address. I have a history of sexual abuse, I’m a breast cancer survivor and I am a lifetime insomniac. I have a long history of depression and I’m beginning to have anxiety. I have low self esteem but I’ve been happily married for almost 35 years. I’ve never had counseling about any of this. Do I have too many issues to address in counseling? [/INST] Hello there,No one has too many issues to address in counseling. Once you start counseling, your therapist will help you identify which issues to start working on first and which are causing you the most distress. Once you and your therapist prioritize your concerns, you can start to address each concern, starting with the one causing the most distress for you. </s>

<s>[INST] I blame my past relationship for it. I know it is bad to be this way. I want to get past it. [/INST] How did you come to the conclusion that you are acting needy?Is this what your partner told you or are you feeling this way about yourself?The difference is that what you'd like from a relationship may be very reasonable, only that your partner is not someone who wants to meet your needs.One way of evaluating whether you're actually needy is whether you feel that you give yourself love, take good care of yourself when you're in situations that are not connected to being part of a couple.If being by yourself feels uneasy most of the time, then probably practicing self-love, consciously treating yourself with consideration and thoughtfulness, may help you feel less needy of others.This way, when you're with a partner, the time together will be in enjoying the partner, not getting love because of not figuring out a way of giving love to yourself. </s>

<s>[INST] My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining, but I don't want to hear it anymore. [/INST] Buy the book "Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin." Read it. Apply it.Seriously, I'm not joking. You're not wrong to "not want to hear it anymore" but if you don't maintain healthy boundaries, you will allow your family to make you feel guilty for "not wanting to hear it anymore". That's not fair to you.Give a copy to your mom, too. No, I didn't write the book nor do I have any affiliation with it - I simply recommend it because it's a wonderful book and it helped me out a lot. I recommend it to a lot of people. It should be required reading! </s>

<s>[INST] I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky. Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this? [/INST] Yes, feeling nervous for the first few or several sessions of therapy, is completely normal.Therapy is an unusual way to have a conversation with someone.   The person is an expert in recognizing and understanding dynamics of human interactions.   For some people the fear is that the therapist knows more about you than you do yourself.In general terms hopefully your therapist has worked with many other people who've faced problems similar to yours.In this sense the therapist has a general idea of the basic dynamics you most likely are handling.No therapist could possibly know your particular details and your particular areas of upset or in what ways you feel unsure of yourself.Once you start to trust both your own right to tell your particular story and start to also feel that your therapist is listening attentively and cares what you tell the person, your nervousness will start to disappear all on its own.Good luck in getting the most from your therapy sessions! </s>

<s>[INST] I have a fear of something and I want to face that fear to overcome it, but I don't know how. What can I do? [/INST] Your fear may have deeper roots within your sense of who you are, than you realize.   Fears are sometimes irrational so that logic doesn't get rid of them.Think about whether you felt secure and confident as a child.  Also, did any major bad events happen to you with other people or situations when you were growing up?Often these overwhelming situations of childhood stay with us as fears of situations in our adult lives.  If the root of the problem w the fear is from long ago, then probably a therapist who can ask you questions which help you remember upsetting childhood circumstances, may help you to dissolve the current fear.Another possibility is CBT, cognitive behavior therapy which teaches people short term mantras to do something which is safe, say being a passenger in a commercial airplane, which feels frightening to a person.CBT is short term and results are limited to specific fears.  It is a much quicker approach than self-understanding. </s>

<s>[INST] Ive been in an on an off relationship with a this man for almost 3 years. Even though I care about him, he continues to hurt me. He and his wife were separated when we met. Now he's going through a really difficult divorce from her and is taking it really hard. I want to end this relationship, but I don't feel like I can. How can I let go? [/INST] Hello, and thank you for your question. Boy, ending relationships is tough, isn't it? Sometimes it's tough even when we are 100% sure that it is the right thing to do!I am going to give you some of my thoughts, and hopefully some colleagues will add some others. One of the things that I want to point out is that "letting go" is not really a thing. In other words, it's not really something you can reach out and grab. It's more of a process. This is good news, because you don't necessarily have to be at the end of the process to end an unhealthy relationship. We just have to accept that there will be feelings that come up even after the relationship is over. For example, someone can end an unhealthy relationship today, but then be reminded of the good times on what would have been their "anniversary." This could make the person very sad. They may even regret ending the relationship for a little while. It would important, then, for the person to remind themselves why the relationship needed to end, and that they are healthier because of it. This is relevant for you. It's hard to walk away from a relationship. We fear all kinds of things, including being single! Sometimes it's helpful to compare what you are getting out of the relationship to what you want from a relationship. It's helpful to be honest about what we have given up for an unhealthy relationship. It's fine to admit uncertainly about ending things. It's okay to be afraid. It's okay to have moments of doubt and sadness along with a dash of guilt. And even with all of that, someone can still leave if it is the healthiest thing for them. They can have sadness later on, and still not go back.It sounds like you are feeling responsible for making sure he is okay because of this divorce. The truth is that there is not necessarily a "perfect" time to end any relationship. There would be no guarantee that he would be doing any better after the divorce. Sometimes NOT making decisions stresses us out A LOT more than making a decision and living with the consequences, both good and bad. You may be at that crossroads. Be well..Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC </s>

<s>[INST] People have been calling me names, and I have had enough of it. I cannot stand it anymore I'm done. I have told someone this, and that is why I am writing this. The thoughts are awful. [/INST] It's sounds like you are feeling pretty overwhelmed with intrusive thoughts and are feeling very criticized by others as well. I think it is great that you are reaching out and I can tell that you want this to change. Working with a competent therapist may be a good option for getting some more clarity about what is going on, developing ways to cope, and eventually getting relief from these overwhelming experiences. </s>

<s>[INST] My girlfriend remains friends with ex boyfriends/lovers on Facebook who actively like and comment on posts. It causes me to get jealous because I'm afraid they might reconnect somehow. I've attempted to talk to her about it, but she avoids it and doesn't seem to worry about how I feel about it. [/INST] Talking about it would probably be helpful if you're both in a place where you can decide when is best to talk about something that is important. It may also be helpful to ask if you could talk for two or three minutes to make a point and then have space for her to talk for the same amount of time. You can adjust the timing for what works for both of you. After one of you is talking, perhaps you could restate what you have heard the person say. This can lessen confusion.I know you say that she avoids it. It might be a good place to start talking about it – to see what makes her avoid it. It could be that she thinks any discussion about them is going to lead to an argument or you saying that she can't talk to them. I don't know how you typically react when you are jealous, but if you can discuss talking about this in a way that you are both open to hearing what the other person is experiencing, that may be helpful as well. </s>

<s>[INST] I have a mother who is still running my life even though I'm almost 30 years old. I want to move out and live my own life, but it feels like as long as I do what my mom wants our relationship is okay. It's never okay if I don't do what she wants. I don't know how to start making my own decisions and not worry about whether it's right in her eyes. Would it help for me to talk to someone about this? [/INST] ABSOLUTELY.  Having someone who's outside the situation and, even more so, with knowledge and experience in human behavior and relationship dynamics such as a counselor can do wonders in helping us feel less alone in frustrating situations like the one you're currently stuck in with your mother.  A professional can also assist you in finding some assertiveness techniques, communication strategies, and coping skills to help you find your voice and stand your ground in a way that feels most authentic to you.In a healthy parent-child dynamic, there comes a normal developmental shift when, as the child reaches each new stage of maturity and responsibility, the parent backs off to provide a more supportive role instead of directive role.  We call this "redefining relationships." (We also do it with our friendships and colleagues here and there over time as needed). It's absolutely vital. Sounds like your mom may have missed that memo. Like many parents, she may feel your behavior and choices is a direct reflection of her. Or that her role as your mother allows her greater latitude than it should.  Or like many other people in general, that her way is the ONLY way. Regardless, this is YOUR life.  And as far as we know, it's not a dress rehearsal. You certainly don't want to wake up some 50 years from now regretful or resentful. That being said, there are certainly ways to show her love and respect while doing what makes you happy. I would encourage you to Google therapists near you whose bios resonate with you and what you're looking for and start on a the journey towards a new chapter of freedom and hopefully a deeper, more satisfying mother-daughter relationship for both of you.Warmest regards,Tamara Powell, LMHC </s>

<s>[INST] I'm going through some things with my feelings and myself. I barely sleep and I do nothing but think about how I'm worthless and how I shouldn't be here. I've never tried or contemplated suicide. I've always wanted to fix my issues, but I never get around to it. How can I change my feeling of being worthless to everyone? [/INST] Heck, sure thing, hun!Feelings of 'depression' have a deeply-rooted base in physical structures that may not be functioning very well at present; and, we can certainly turn them on again using means that you are able to find around the house and with relative ease :)After that, emotional and spiritual support will be liberally applied. </s>

<s>[INST] My doctor seems to think I am in danger of having one. I neglected to ask how this was different than an episode. I have been formally diagnosed with bipolar type 1. [/INST] I do not think there is such a thing as a psychotic seizure, however, there is something called a pseduoseizure or psychogenic non-epileptic seizure. Basically, this is when a person shows signs of a full-on seizure (such as falling and convulsing) but they are not producing brain waves consistent with a seizure. Psedoseizures tend to be brought on by high stress, emotional challenges, and trauma history. You can learn more here, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK441871/ Still, the best way to now what your doctor meant would be to ask them! :) </s>

<s>[INST] I start counseling/therapy in a few days (I'm freaking out) but my main fear is that I'll cry and embarrass myself, is it something to worry about? [/INST] It is is absolutely normal to cry in therapy. I can understand wanting to keep everything together and put your best foot forward with everyone you come into contact with, but it can be such a powerful experience to cry with somebody that can hear you and accept you. It's so brave of you to go and share yourself with your counselor! I hope you will keep being brave as you begin healing. </s>

<s>[INST] They don't go away, and I feel like I'm going crazy. Does that ever stop? Can it be a symptom of medication? [/INST] Since you realize that hearing voices in your head is not usual for you, then definitely there is a problematic situation happening within your awareness of who you are.if you recently started taking a new drug or increased dosage of one you already were taking, and the voices started shortly after, then yes, it is possible medication created your problem.Start by telling whoever gave you the presecription, about the problem you're having."Crazy" has some flexibility as to whether someone is this way or not.Certainly a very positive sign that you're not crazy, is that you're self-aware of a problem within yourself. And, you're responsible toward yourself and making effort to address this problem.Crazy people usually don't do responsible behaviors. </s>

<s>[INST] I've always thought that there wasn't much good out there for me. Now that things are actually going well, it kind of scares me. I spent most of my life feeling unwanted and figured I would be alone. I recently met a great woman who seems to really like me, and I don't know how to process this. It's bothering both of us. [/INST] Hi! Thank you for your question. It's tough to be in a healthy and loving relationship when we believe we are not worth it. Quite often being in such a relationship is very uncomfortable as it goes against everything we believe about ourselves. First, I want to say you are very brave to open up yourself to the relationship with this wonderful woman you met. Second, I would like to invite you to treat yourself with compassion as you are entering this unknown territory for yourself. Doing something new and totally unfamiliar can be scary, so it's vital that you are kind and gentle with yourself. Acknowledge that what you are doing is scary and uncomfortable and that it will take some time to get used to it. Don't judge yourself and force yourself to feel a certain way. It's important that you are patient with yourself and tolerant of your discomfort. With time, space, kindness, and tolerance your discomfort and fear will start to dissolve. Invite your new partner to also relate to your feelings in the open and compassionate way. The worst thing that you or your partner can do is to rush your feelings, pressure you to feel in a different way or to say that there is something wrong with you cause you feel a certain way. Please be gentle with yourself and celebrate and acknowledge every small victory. Every time you do something little, like holding hands or receive a compliment and it no longer scares you as it did a week ago - celebrate that progress! </s>

<s>[INST] I am so angry. I feel like the arguments with my parents have caused me so much anxiety and stress, and I don't know what to do. I want to sit down with a psychologist, but I cannot afford one, nor do I have my own health insurance. I can feel myself starting to get violent. I throw things of value when I start to get mad. I have punched holes in my wall. I can feel my aggression getting worse. [/INST] I'm sorry you have so many arguments with your parents.  Ideally parents are people who tolerate that their kids are people with their own unique characteristics.Everyone likes feeling loved by their parent.   Do you feel loved even though you and them have clashes?Anger is a symptom of a problem.The real question is knowing what feels like its being hurt inside of you.I agree with your idea of talking with a psychologist or some other type of licensed professional therapist.See if your area has a family service agency in it.  Generally the non-profit sectors offer sliding scale fees, and if you qualify, your cost per session would be financially comfortable for you.One possibility is to tell your parents that you'd like starting therapy because of feeling so much stress from the family arguing.They may very well be surprised to learn of your maturity in assessing your level of stress and be willing to make a positive contribution to this by offering to authorize therapy through their health insurance. They may even decide on family counseling so all of you work together to relate in more loving ways.Last, if you aren't ready to speak with your parents about wanting counseling, think about speaking to your school guidance counselor.  This person may have some recommendations for your specific geographic location. </s>

<s>[INST] How do I ever trust another woman? I have found myself constantly reading between the lines with every other woman that I meet. I am having a difficult time making any sort of connection to anyone because of her deception and willingness to say and do literally anything in order to control my emotions. Once the "relationship" was over, she became extremely abusive and has attempted to intimidate me into silence regarding the many false claims made on her immigration application. [/INST] I'm sorry to hear about that situation. If the woman was your therapist (or had been at one time), this could represent a significant ethical violation when she created a dual relationship with you.Even if you were not her client, this might still be an ethical violation. Counselors are held to a high standard of conduct and honesty at all times.In a situation like this you might consider filing a complaint with the state regulatory board. </s>

<s>[INST] I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky. Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this? [/INST] Thank you for your question. It's completely normal and natural to feel nervous before a therapy session. Many people report having felt this way. I can't say enough regarding the amount of courage it takes to reach out and attend a therapy session. For many people, it can take weeks, months, or even years of contemplating whether to see a therapist or not before actually contacting one and attending the first session. It takes courage to want to work through any struggles you may be having or personal growth you aspire toward. In your question, you mentioned that you've "gone several times and are still feeling nervous and shaky." If you feel comfortable with your therapist and it's a good fit for you, I would suggest talking about this with your therapist. You don't have to struggle each time you have your appointment. Together, you and your therapist can work toward helping you have a different experience.  </s>

<s>[INST] I was raped repeatedly when I was younger. I told my parents and action was taken, but now that I’m an adult, I suffer from extreme anxiety. [/INST] While anxiety can come about for many reasons, trauma is definitely one of the factors that makes anxiety a possibility both immediately following a traumatic event and later in life. When we have experienced such scary violations of our bodies - we may experience residual effects of fear for many years to come. This is normal, natural and in many ways helpful - at least initially. This fear is in some way a sign that your body/mind is taking good care of you - trying to keep you on your toes in order to protect you from anything terrible happening to you again. However, as it sounds like you know, anxiety feels awful and there are certainly ways of learning to reduce anxiety. In order to get the tools you need to manage anxiety and also understand where it comes from and how it works in your life, I would encourage you to seek professional help and check out anxiety resources online. </s>

<s>[INST] I’m trying to make marriage work after a split. Before our split, he lied a lot and broke every promise to me. I don't think he cheated. Last month, I asked what women work with him, so he told me. Yesterday, I found out about a girl that he said he forgot about. Should I be upset? [/INST] Do you want to be upset about a girl that he forgot about?  Think about it for a minute.  Do you want to measure your trust based on knowing how many female co-workers your husband has?  And if so, what does that say about your marriage?  Trust is something that we earn based on our actions and the actions of people we interact with; it’s also based on our ability to communicate and understand what we value and have in common.  If you are focused on every little detail around your relationship, it may turn into an unhealthy obsession and it may harm your relationship more.   If instead you focus on opening the lines of communication, let him know what you expect from him, and discuss how you could both build trust again, you may become closer and give your relationship the opportunity to grow.  ¿Debería este molesta porque mi esposo me mintió de nuevo?Estoy tratando de hacer que mi matrimonio funcione después de una separación.  Antes de separarnos el mentía mucho y rompía todas sus promesas.  No creo que me haya sido infiel.  El mes pasado, le pregunté cuantas mujeres trabajan con él, y él me dijo.  Ayer, me enteré que se olvido de una muchacha.  ¿Debería estar enojada?¿Quieres estar molesta porque se le olvido con cuantas mujeres trabaja?  Piénsalo por un momento.  ¿Quieres determinar la confianza que le tienes en tu esposo basándote en su capacidad de reportar la cantidad de mujeres que trabajan con él?  Si tu respuesta es sí, ¿qué refleja eso sobre tu matrimonio?  La confianza es algo que se gana basado en nuestras acciones y las de aquellos con quienes interactuamos; también en nuestra habilidad de comunicar y entender los valores que tenemos en común. Si practicas estar preocupada por cada pequeño detalle en tu relación, esto se puede convertir en una obsesión que potencialmente dañara tu relación.  Si en cambio te enfocas en abrir las líneas de comunicación, le dejas saber lo que esperas de él y discuten cómo pueden trabajar juntos para recuperar la confianza, pueden volverse más cercanos y darse la oportunidad de que la relación crezca. </s>

<s>[INST] I’ve been on 0.5 mg of Xanax twice a day for the past month. It hasn't been helping me at all, but when I take 1 mg during a big anxiety attack, it calms me down. I was wondering how I can ask my psychologist to up the dose to 1 mg twice a day without her thinking I'm abusing them. I just have very big anxiety attacks. Should I stay on the 0.5mg and deal with the attacks or should I ask to up the dose? I'm afraid she will take me off them and put me on something else. [/INST] In general, Xanax is very short-acting. You mentioned that you are afraid that your medical provider will take you off of the Xanax and put you on something else. If the Xanax is not working well for you, I wonder if something else may work better. What is your reasoning there? Also, sometimes there are medications that you can take in addition to Xanax.In addition to talking with your medical provider about changing the medication, try to track your levels of anxiety on a scale of 1 to 10 throughout the day so you can get a pattern of what is happening. Also consider writing down what is happening before you have anxiety attacks. This may help your medical provider know what medication may be helpful to you or what changes could be made.As far as how to discuss this with your medical provider, I would suggest mentioning the symptom changes you are having (anxiety attacks that are not helped with 0.5mg of Xanax) and ask what they would suggest that might help. If your medical provider suggests taking you off of the Xanax, I would recommend talking about the reasons why you would prefer to stay on the Xanax and what your concerns are about coming off of it. You could also ask whether anything could be combined with Xanax.There are also many other anxiety medications. I have seen lots of people that take more than one medication to lessen anxiety that they are having.I would also consider talking with a therapist (unless the person who is prescribing a medication is also doing therapy with you). Getting more information about your anxiety and how it is affecting you may be greatly helpful to you. </s>

<s>[INST] I'm planning to have baby, so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need, it's mental. I cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction? [/INST] Breaking any habit is no easy feat.   Cutting down or cutting out cigarettes is very challenging, and there aren't any one size fits all solutions.  Fortunately, there are a lot of tricks and tools that you can use to stop smoking.  1. Many habits that we have are paired habits. If we do one thing, then we will do the other thing.  Think about the activities that you do when smoking and try to pair those activities with another activity other than smoking.  For instance, many people smoke while they drive.  Consider planning another activity to do while driving. (It might not be driving for you, but you get the idea! :)).  It might be taking a walk instead of smoking on your break at work.  2.  Create distance between you and the habit you are trying to break.  This approach could be used in a variety of different ways.  If you smoke first thing in the morning, consider leaving your cigarettes in a different room in your home.  Walking the extra couple of feet could help you decide not to smoke.   Leave your credit or debit cards at home and carry less emergency cash than a pack of cigarettes.  With this strategy, you are trying to create some distance between you the cigarettes so that you have to jump through extra hoops to get them.  3.  Consider cutting back before cutting out.  If you are smoking 10 cigarettes a day, try smoking 9. Then cut back to 8 and so on.  Having a plan to reduce harm may be more sustainable than cutting things out altogether. 4.  You could also talk to your doctor about the safety of nicotine patches. If you aren't already pregnant, this could be a great resource to help boost your success.  5. Focus on what you are gaining instead of what you are loosing. You may be losing cigarettes, but you are gaining money, health, taste buds, an increased sense of smell, lung capacity, a healthy baby etc.  You could plan small rewards/ treats with the money you save from decreasing cigarette purchases.  I recommend making these purchases small and frequent to keep up the momentum rather than waiting for a big payout a couple of months down the road.  Good luck! Cutting out cigarettes will be good for you and your baby. </s>

<s>[INST] My husband and I had our first threesome recently. Everyone was drinking and he was on her more then me. He and I talked about it afterwards and it made me feel better, and now I'm craving more of it. But before it gets close to happening I get this empty feeling. Why am I feeling this way? [/INST] Because the acrobatics and excitement of sex has nothing to do with the meaning of deeper emotional attachment to another person with whom we are in a relationship.Try to distinguish between your feelings of excitement from the novel sexual arrangement and what you feel is necessary in order to feel emotionally close and attached to your husband. </s>

<s>[INST] I was raped a couple months ago, Since then, along with other unfortunately events that have occurred, I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this? [/INST] Terrible things do happen in life, and I am sorry to hear about what happened to you. Please rest assured that you are not a sociopath, and that your reactions are normal responses to traumatic events. I'm guessing you are experiencing a sense of numbness, which is a common response to trauma. The best thing you can do is to get some trauma counseling with a professional counselor.  As you process your experience, you will be able to feel emotions again. However, the first feelings to come back may be related to trauma, such as fear, panic, and a sense of hyper vigilance. A professional counselor will be able to help you tolerate these feelings, manage them, and heal from your trauma. </s>

<s>[INST] My spouse visited the red light district a couple of years back in Amsterdam. After he got back from the trip he got me tested for stds. In the aftermath he has provided multiple versions of what happened, from having a total blackout to being touched by a prostitute. How do I know if he had sex? [/INST] The only two people who know the answer to your question are your husband and the prostitute.The question you did and can answer is the reason you would doubt your husband, which is bc of his multiple stories.Ideally your husband cares to restore your sense of confidence in the stories he tells you.If you state your doubts and your interest for the truth, ideally he will produce enough evidence of the truth so you will have facts and can make sense of them.   Hopefully the two of you will do this sense making together, especially if he did have sex w the prostititute.If he's unwilling to care about restoring your trust in him, then this is a different problem entirely. </s>

<s>[INST] How does a counselor decide when to end counseling sessions or to terminate working with a client? [/INST] As a therapist who believes in client self-determination above most other elements of the process, I want to as much as possible leave it up to the client to determine when they are finished. In the case of a termination because a client's distress has resolved, I might periodically check in with the client about how therapy has been going, and if we want to re-evaluate where we are.The more unfortunate situation would come about if I felt that I wasn't the best fit for the client. I would offer that in words, and ideas of therapists (with names) of who I thought might be a better fit and why. It still is up to the client whether to continue, however should they want to keep seeing me, a part of the work would be about that want (to see someone who professionally doesn't believe they can help as much as someone else.)I also find it perplexing when I hear a client (or on a personal level) tell me that their therapist said they "didn't need therapy." I don't know that I buy into that scenario all that much, because I do believe that yes, not everyone NEEDS therapy, but that everyone CAN benefit from therapy and I don't believe it is the therapist's job to deter someone from ever seeking out help of any kind. </s>

<s>[INST] I know that I need to get past my feelings for this person I fell in love with, but t's so difficult to move on because he showed me feelings I've never felt before. I feel like I don't want to be without my genuine love for him, but logically, I know I need to be without him. I can't discuss this with anybody in my life because the conditions surrounding our love are considered "wrong" by a lot of people. How can I get myself to just move on? [/INST] Love is a deep and nuanced feeling so start to accept that a simple cutting of emotional connection isn't possible.Honor the love you felt for this person.  Acknowledgement of your love feelings will most likely help you find a dignified way to accept them while at the same time slowly developing new ways to live your life in a way which does not include the actual person.Your feelings will always belong to you.  The newly discovered sense of how love feels will be with you and positively influence all your relationships.  There is a benefit to feeling loved even if it is not forever in this lifetime.Also, your partner opened your feelings, the feelings which showed in fact already were within you.  He opened the door and this door belongs to you.I hope you will find ways to appreciate having been loved and to be open that your feelings of being loved are a positive influence in all your relationships. </s>

<s>[INST] She's in her early 20s, and she has a toddler. [/INST] It may be helpful to first have a discussion about what you are expecting and put a timeframe on it that if she is not doing certain things by a certain date, she will have to leave. If you don't know where she can go, there is probably a list of shelters for the county that you live in. </s>

<s>[INST] I am a survivor of multiple sexual abuse/rape experiences. Triggers are having an effect on my daily life and my sexual relationship with my partner. I'm trying to learn to cope with them. [/INST] I encourage you to seek out and work with a therapist who specializes in treating complex trauma.  Somatic Experiencing, Brainspotting, and Internal Family Systems Therapy are all highly effective treatments for people dealing with complex trauma.  If you are interested in reading a book that is supportive and compassionate, Bessel van der Kolk's The Body Keeps the Score is a wonderful book that discusses treatment options in depth. </s>

<s>[INST] When my daughter is stressed about a silly thing from school, she starts crying and freaking out. She is a bright student, always has a 4.0, but I am afraid she is stressing too much. I’m afraid it’s going to break her. I don't know if I should get her to a doctor or someone because this is not normal. [/INST] Sometimes stress helps us become motivated and thrive to do better however, if your daughter is stressing to the point that she is crying and freaking out then that would be concerning. Helping your daughter with relaxation techniques like deep breathing or guided imagery would be a good start. Also, reminding your daughter that you see her doing so well in school and that most importantly you are there for her. I would also make an appointment to see a mental health therapist they can have more ideas on ways to de-stress. </s>

<s>[INST] I am a heterosexual male in my late 20s. I find myself wearing pantyhose, heels, skirts and other women's clothing in private. I am torn on how to feel about it. I enjoy it very much. I have had a pantyhose/stocking fascination and other kinky fetish interests since I was young. I have no history of sexual abuse growing up. I am currently single. [/INST] Hi there! It sounds like you have already started to answer your own question by stating that you love cross dressing very much, and I am glad you enjoy it! Cross dressing is something many people enjoy, and there is no harm in it whatsoever. My question to you would be: What is making you feel torn about it? There is unfortunately still a lot of negative stigma associated with people who express their gender or sexuality in ways that differ from the majority. (And sometimes certain sexual interests are actually very common or even in the majority, but because people carry shame about being different when it comes to gender and sexuality we assume we are all alone!)Being a sexual or gender minority or someone who participates in kink or expresses their sexuality or gender identity in a unique and personal way often means suffering from something called "internalized oppression". We grow up being exposed to certain assumptions and beliefs about what is "acceptable" behavior and even face consequences sometimes if we don't "fit in" the way others tell us to. Even if those assumptions are harmful and wrong, we still internalize them and feel guilty about who we are. There is nothing wrong with us, but feeling stigmatized and isolated can lead to feelings of shame, embarrassment, or like something is "wrong" with us.But there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, so be proud of who you are and what you enjoy. You can continue to simply enjoy it privately, or maybe you'd eventually like to share it with a partner or maybe even join a community with similar interests. I'll leave you with a quote from comedian Eddie Izzard, who identifies as, in his own words, a "straight transvestite": "They’re not women’s clothes. They’re my clothes. I bought them!" Take care, and thanks for your question! </s>