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I am alone, and I don't know what to do. At this time I'm most interested in any 'quick tips' that can be offered on how to manage feelings of violation, betrayal, humiliation, distress, anger at the abuser and all those who stood by, ignoring the damage she was inflicting, anger at those who have protected her at the expense of her victims, anger at my family for their mistreatment, and how they effectively set me up for future abuse. Dissociative symptoms are a significant problem at this time. Focusing on a movie, tv show, video game, book, even a short song can be impossible at times. The interest in 'quick tips' on how to manage those overwhelming emotions is an attempt to make it feasible to read a fre books I'm hoping might help (Pete walker's CPTSD and James Chu's Rebuilding shattered lives, MacKenzie's Psychopath free).
severe
I'm not getting any resources from the VA and I'm not getting better. I'm 100%, war time, service connect disabled for PTSD. I've been kicked out of the MHICM Range program because "I'm not making enough progress”—ie not magically getting better. Im currently doing ACT therapy but it's not helping and the VA here can't offer talk therapy so they referred me to the Vet Center. After about six months there, my therapist told me I was "too depressed to help."
mild
If you knew Garret you would never have seen this coming. The family is exhausted at this point. I just want to do anything I can to help them and this is the platform I have. Any little thing helps. I can't think of a more caring family that is totally deserving of any help they can get.
minimum
My sister messaged me "CALL ME ASAP" I received her message at 1am when I woke up at my own home to use the restroom. I called my sister at that time, she answered the phone and I heard yelling and screaming. What happened was, My sister gave my father a ride back to wherever it was he came from - to get him out of their home. My father would not leave my moms home unless she also came along.
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No really guess!.... This IS THE LAST TIME!!! THIS IS IT!!!! Fast forward , she goes a little further this time and consults an Attorney Firm. She always said money was problem , and me being an idiot said I dknt care I'll make a plan so that this evil doesn't have to be in our lives, She calls Me to say that the Attorneys need $250 for an Eviction Letter to him.
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You aren't weak. If you were weak, you wouldn't be fighting. I honestly don't know what inspired me to post this as I don't post here ever. This is obviously an alt, but I just wanted someone to hear if anyone. We're all going to get through this.
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If you were raped on a daily basis from infancy through adolescence then you should "radically accept" it. Check out the parts of Linehan's book where she explains how unconditional positive regard is a myth, nonexistent. The part where she explains about paradoxical intervention. That is where you manipulate and jerk your client around using head games and reverse psychology. Then there is radical genuineness.
minimum
Hey there, I'm currently an 18 year old (nearly 19) finishing up freshman year (a course in general sciences with modules in Physics, biology, math, geology) with my first university finals in about 8 days. 6 separate exams, from the 2nd of May until the 11th. Since about April 10th, I've uninstalled my Discord and logged off social media and can not express truly how happier I've felt in a while, I've been able to talk to my family more and control the amount of energy I have. (and also bring the life in the room when I'm in group study with one of my friends that we booked together studying for finals)
minimum
In the first month I was living here, I was doing a lot of really self-destructive things and ended up hospitalising myself, but now I have a job and am working very heavy hours to keep myself busy, and am not drinking heavily or using drugs or self-harming. Unfortunately, I'm also more or less repressing all my feelings, and I'm having trouble with mood swings (particularly anger), anxiety and more recently, daily migraines. Any suggestions? Particularly suggestions for someone who works 40+ hours a week, so doesn't have much time to relax anyway? I hate living here, but don't have much choice for the foreseeable future.
moderate
So I have ptsd from an abusive relationship I ended about 3 years ago. When I felt healthy enough I went to therapy and did emdr and it helped and I thought i was doing well. I even moved to a different state so I could quit triggering my flashbacks a year and a half ago and haven't had a single flashback until last night. I have started dating a guy I'm pretty smitten about and last night we went out with friends and had a really good time but we also had been drinking. Something triggered me and i had a flashback and was not able to control my emotions because I had been drinking it was like I went from laughing having a good time to having a panic attack and asked him if we could leave and we did.
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I developed some health problems with my stomach around September of last year and had to be hospitalized, had very high wbc, did a cat scan and so on. They let me go with some antibiotics and no answer about what was wrong with me. This, I guess, left me feeling very nervous, the next time I was researching my pains and such and blah blah everything online telling me I’m going to die. So I turn off my phone and I’m lying there trying to sleep when i get this sudden gasping feeling and like I can’t breathe. I feel completely overwhelmed by it, my face and hands feel numb, I wake up my family and we wait maybe an hour before taking me to the hospital.
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Good goals - She finished undergrad and already wants to go back to school. I value girls who want to get a good education or pursue entrepreneurship. Doesn't ask me for much - Given my financial situation, she hasn't asked me to do something that was out of my budget. Since I'm not really feeling her, should I let her go? I'm asking this because most of the girls I've met aren't like her.
minimum
I've heard Xanax is similar except I don't want to risk dying from having some other stuff in it cause I couldn't obtain it legally. What other options do I have? (Just to clarify: I'm at my wit's end. I just need something to get me through certain days. I recognise the risk of addiction and that it's not a long-term fix.)
minimum
I heard from a mutual friend that she got engaged and I’m truly happy for her and would like to wish her congratulations. I don’t need forgiveness I would just like to move on I guess? Is it is selfish of me to apologize to her and say congrats or just wish her congrats? should I just let it go and learn from my immaturity? Additional info: my sister was also her BFF and after I ghosted her they had a huge dramatic falling out after my sister tried to keep the peace.
minimum
I get flashbacks from ptsd at home, and now my home is full of these spider and insect memories. And I feel like so few people in my life can really handle this and that’s even more isolating. I’m sorry. I needed a place to put this down and try and stop crying. I know my thoughts are disorganized right now and I’m finding it hard to organize them.
moderate
I went there on autopilot, I was blank inside and I was ready to jump. My counsellor saw me through the window and called me on the phone, trying to distract me so she could send help over to me. Campus was pretty much empty, everyone in exams or already finished for the summer and I felt at peace. I was gently talked away from the edge by campus security and they took me to see my counsellor. I havent seen her since this happened and Im due back at uni next week.
severe
I especially appreciate stories of similar experiences and such. I hope everyone's have a nice day. TL;DR: I ended up with anxiety due to relationship and health anxiety and now I can't stop thinking about how I might some terminal illness (cancer) just because I feel some weird tingling or pain in an area I didn't before. Or even a cough can freak me out a little. If you also/used to suffer from this how do/did you deal with it?
severe
I sent a respectful email to my primary psychiatrist explaining my thoughts on how it was inappropriate to have Paterno's picture prominently displayed. Am I fucked up in the head for thinking this wrong? In the past, I had a mild traumatic brain injury. Sometimes I over react. 24 hours post appointment, I'm still bitter about the Paterno pics.
severe
He kept holding my arm while talking to me. He kept saying how beautiful I was. Even after he finished the exam he did another sweep with his hand idk wtf he was checking because we were all done I’m almost positive he just wanted to fucking touch me because every chance he could he would. I was so close to tears I know this isn’t like so bad, but to a girl with ptsd from assault it was the end of the world. I felt so gross and grimy having his nasty hands on me calling me beautiful.
minimum
Just realised in my greatest moment of need, no one could be there for me despite me seeking it out and reaching out first. These are 'friends' Ive talked to about issues before. My heart is beyond broken to find myself at once again a second round of realisation that I have no friends to be there for me. People have stuff to get on in their lives and cannot always be there for me. I get it.
mild
Last few weeks I’ve overcome some serious issues and I was traveling most the time and it helped me a lot. But now that I’m home I’m falling back to my old self I’m isolating myself in my house. I barely go out again I can’t even manage to get myself a haircut and I don’t want fall back in this hole again. I picked myself up and going falling back can someone help me.
moderate
The two women sitting out front were his family. They are all African immigrants and don’t primarily speak English. They were the ones who handed me the phone. The police came by yesterday to talk again to my neighbors while I was at work. My husband told me last night that the man died.
minimum
I was sobbing and shaking and my whole front of my dress was open because he tore at it and th the buttons broke. I was shaking so much it took a while to button up my dress and the whole time it reminded me of when my ex attacked me. Was my trauma triggered? I tried to gather my things and got out and went into the back of his huge suv to get my things out of th backseat. I was hysterical.
minimum
Any help on how to stop ruminating? I work with some pretty toxic people and I can accept when people are ignorant and generally rude about my PTSD. I get it, some people are just really stupid and ignorant and won't understand how the assault affected me. But I spend WEEKS ruminating on all the things they've said, things they might say next... and the grounding techniques that my therapist suggests never stops it. How do you distract yourself from ruminating or arguing with people in your head?
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But it seems like I'm also dealing with abandonment issues with my parents which has recently reemerged after coming out as transgender which they don't support. Unfortunately, I have Lyme disease and live with them because I'm too sick to do anything and they won't support my transition. I get the feeling that if I was healthy and I transitioned I'd never speak to them. I was reminded of PTSD from a comment on r/raisedbynarcissists/ and Borderline Personality Disorder was brought up. I don't know if it's a secondary condition or overlapping symptoms, but C-PTSD specifically was mentioned and that seems pretty accurate.
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She hangs up; told me she was going to; but she leaves. That was a bit frightening. But I guess at that stage the police were already here, because the abuse from him starts. “Oh you actually called the fucking cops did you?” “Why would you call the fucking cops?” “I can’t believe you’d call the fucking cops”. Three days later, I’ve just checked the phone.
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I have had SAD for about five years and in those times I tried so many things to ease the anxiety. You know, like medication, therapy, desensitising, etc. None of those seemed to do me any good. However, for the past year I have been working out nearly everyday and my anxiety has been alleviated A LOT. I can't exaggerate it, it just really chills me out.
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I'm new to Reddit and have only really discussed my issues with trauma and PTSD with my partner and therapist, and I am struggling with the random dissociative cycles of derealization and depersonalization. And I'm so tired of it. I've been in therapy for half of my life. I write and also listen to music to help when I'm having issues, but it never feels like enough. So I started talking to myself (which I do under stress) and drinking and this was a piece of the conversation:
mild
For ever since I can remember I have suffered from anxiety. But in the past 5 or so years, my anxiety has shifted to almost entirely work. I’m only 18 and am working part time, but for some god damn reason work scares the hell out of me. I have quit my past three jobs because of it and have recently got a new job. I started on Wednesday and am actually good at it.
minimum
No history of DV, married 8 years, together 10 years, nothing like this has ever happened before. We have two children, 2 & 5 that unfortunately witnessed nearly everything. Sunday night we had both been drinking, she was significantly more intoxicated than I (likely due to not eating much that day.) She came out of our bedroom and started "doing" the dishes - slamming everything in the process. I raised my voice telling her to go to bed and I would handle the dishes - she snapped, started screaming, hitting me in the chest (slapping to be a little more precise if alcohol+adrenaline actually allow for vivid memory recollection) before I know it she has a knife - I take it out of her hand and grab the second knife that was in sight (dinner had recently been prepared, we used multiple knives to do so) I threw them both in the trashcan, but her rampage continued and she soon had yet another knife in her hand, this time pointed directly (or close to) her heart, stating that she wanted it to all be over, never wanted any of this (we relocated 800 miles for my work approx 3 weeks ago and left behind every friend and family member we have that could help either of us right now) I grabbed both of her wrists and we struggled, we both hit the ground and I held her down until I could remove the knife from the situation - at some point I was stabbed just above my thumb even though I did not realize it until minutes later.
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But this incident has been troubling me for a couple of days now. I guess I am just sick and tired of my trauma interfering with my relationships. I feel bad for my boyfriend- he shouldn't have to put up with this stuff. I know he loves me and he is terribly worried. But I also feel bad for me.
mild
“Either be my girlfriend or be out of my life” my fwb told me. I refused to be his girlfriend so of course, now we’re strangers. It’s breaking my heart. I want him in my life so badly, as a friend that is. We had a wonderful connection that’s hard to come by (at least for me) and I hate to lose that.
mild
I'm constantly worrying, snapping off at my kids or even total strangers over trivial things, and have panic attacks so bad that I shake and can't catch my breath. The dr was very nice and understanding of what I was going through. She prescribed Buspar, which i'm not very familiar with. If you are or have taken it, how helpful was it for you? I realize everyone is different but just looking for general experiences, or anything else I need to know about it.
moderate
So when Markus asked me for a date night, just the two of us, I didn't hesitate. I have loved this man so much, I think I still do. These date nights made us feel like we're young again. Everything we used to do back when we were just dumb teenagers, we're doing again now. I was so happy I could cry.
minimum
The problem is that she won't accept the fact that I want to break up. She says I'm not giving a good enough reason. And she wants me to keep talking to her because I'm her only good friend that she can talk to and thinks she can win me back. I'm a pretty nice guy, and I feel bad for her because I know she struggles with making friends, and I feel like an ass if I just leave her. Help me reason with myself that this is a good idea to leave her and stop communication.
minimum
He grew from a short, stubby, orange haired, freckle faced, awkward boy into a seemingly strong, tattooed, pierced, tall, ginger, man I thought I always wanted. From the time I was 13, I thought he loved me. I didn't know why, but he told me often; on the phone, through letter. I was the girl he thought he could never get. I was out of his league (his words).
minimum
I purchased her a mani/pedi off groupon for some birthday pampering. Now, I'm trying to find discounted broadway tickets (I have the tkts and ticket lottery apps), museum passes, unused CityPasses, gift cards to eateries, literally anything that I can share with her in an effort to get her mind off all that she's going through. Info about her: she's a retired secretary who loves musicals and living a healthy lifestyle. She spends all her time now volunteering at local addiction rehabilitation centers and at homeless shelters in an effort to give back to the individuals who helped out so much with my brother. She loves elephants, wine, and discount shopping.
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- Your letter or email has a medium-chance of being the nudge that convinces the foundation to take a closer look. **Next step** Please enter your name and email here, and I'll send info **[Google form for your name and <url> If you can't help out directly, I'd really appreciate if you share this page or form with anyone who might fit.
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I need to make a decision now. My whole course of life is depending on the wisdom of redditors. share with me your thoughts so that i may add to my own. please help. Thanks for your time.
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I was told by my peers, the media, so many things, that what I was doing was okay, was fine, was normal, was desired by every boy my age. I'm sure the majority of my abusers knew I was underage, how could they not? I told some of them how old I was, and most of the ones I told were okay with me being underage, although were extremely coercive, threatening, and frightening at times. I was constantly gaslight, verbally abused, and made to feel frightened and ashamed by many of these people, but I felt like I had to keep trying, like I had to be there to perform for them. All of the physical abuse (sexual and otherwise) that I've survived, happened after I turned 18, starting with my first REAL girlfriend, and the relationships that immediately proceeded her.
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I then joined a few suport groups online, but the same problem happened again. Why this is a problem, is because its my attack trigger, along with other things related to the event like seeing screens smoke, smelling it on people, and other such things. The traumatic event was when I was forced to take it by friends when I was severely ill and could have used a nine-one-one call instead. I did eventually get help, but not after having pot butter and a pipe shoved in my mouth. I wasn't in a good crowd back then.
severe
For the past couple months I have had really bad soreness and tightness in my upper back and neck. Sometimes it gets so stiff I can barely move my head. At first i thought it was a physical injury so I went to the doctors and had an xray but they could not find anything. I notice it flares up when im anxious. I have tried many self massages, creams, baths, pads, you name it.
minimum