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then he put his back into it . he scrunched down , braced his feet and put his legs into it . in exchange for his labor , the crate took his breath . gideon could hear pultrie below , searching . a couple of much smaller boxes caught his attention and he pushed with enthusiasm . over they went , lids breaking , contents spilling , sides splintering , cans clattering and who knew what bouncing , twanging and tumbling to the siren call of gravity . the avalanche danced with a grace like to a herd of blind , storm crazed cattle and stampeded onto the head of the unsuspecting thug below . whilst the cast iron cookware echoed and the curses hit the walls , gideon launched himself to the comforting embrace of folds on folds of forgiving cloth . he scrambled to his feet , and then very wisely used them to make tracks . behind him , the herd bawled and bellowed their complaints to a highly unsympathetic audience . chapter 14 of frying pans and fire gallant damsel scrambled gideon froze . there was nothing fancy about it , nothing thought out or done with deliberate , measured intention . his primal instincts simply kicked in and locked every joint in his body without asking for permission . admittedly , common sense suggested one should endeavor to avoid alleyways as they did not boast many redeeming qualities . what this one had offered was privacy , until now . you know what that was ? a voice inquired . there had been no mistaking the distinctly metallic click , small yet arresting . good , said the voice , then i dont have to tell you breathing wrong would be a really bad idea , do i ? the eastern accent , liberally dosed with pure venom , left gideon in no doubt as to who held the gun at his back . you know , pultrie taunted . if you were smart , you wouldnt have crossed me . you would n't want any accidents . gideon scrabbled to imagine how his adversary stood , and completely failed . if it had been himself holding the gun , the thing might have been harmlessly aimed at the sky or not even loaded . then again if he were as wet hornet as pultrie it would be loaded and leveled in a very resolute manner . a broom left by a backdoor suggested possibilities . if he could up ! pultrie snapped . gideon measured his chances . reluctantly , he did as he was told . eh-eh , pultrie warned . i did not say talk . i said up and i mean now . there was no use trying explain it was impossible for him to lift his injured arm that high . pultrie was not receiving visitors , most particularly rational ones . so gideon held his peace and did his best . now , with his left hand full of his right wrist , anything he tried would be unpleasantly painful and awkwardly slow . this suited pultrie perfectly . since there was no longer a deed , there was also no job , no pay packet and no old lady . the critical point being , there no longer existed any impediment to doing whatever he pleased and what pleased him most was revenge . move , pultrie ordered , and his tone harbored a malicious eagerness only a man covered with syrupy , greasy , slimy , miasmic nastiness could muster . anything funny and i will not stop to ask questions . it didnt require book learning for gideon to see here was a mighty fine place to not be . amazing how that kept happening . no matter where he went , eventually , it ended up being a good place to leave often in a hurry . presuming he enjoyed breathing , not that breathing anywhere within fifty feet of pultrie counted as salubrious , exactly how much could a fellow in his position do ? pultrie willnt shoot til he gets what he wants . that theres levrage . gideon held onto that hope with a passion only a man with a gun to his back could muster . with his feet moving , and the initial gut clenching shock beginning to fade , his adrenalin gave a sheepish apology and put itself to better use . namely , compressing existence down to a single moment , this moment , until it was more tangible than inconsequentials like sanity or healthy life preserving fear . those things could get you killed . whereas , through the eyes of adrenalin , everything became a possibility . move , pultrie ordered his already moving prisoner , and reinforced the command with a shove from the business end of his revolver . gideon stumbled and wondered if he could turn fast enough . he had seen it done once . an irritated gunman had stepped in too close . his prisoner spun around , slapped the gun aside with one hand and delivered a wicked punch with the other . as the gunman staggered , the colt was neatly twisted away . it was a good move tidy , quick and effective . youll get your fool head blown off .

r u safe ? a reply message came about fifteen minutes later , and i wondered if she was disappointed that i had not troubled myself to call her . we are both good and safe . love you always . your grandma sidney . grandma sidney was always so formal in her texts . i smiled to myself missing her even more . love me always she had . i put the cell phone on the nightstand next to my bed and froze when i heard footsteps outside my bedroom door . i hurried over and pulled it open and found brea standing there with red swollen eyes and a tight expression on her face . i wanted to tell her how sorry i was and ask her if i could go and see isabeau , but i couldnt speak . tears ran down my face as we stared at each other . she wiped a tear from my face and then continued down the hallway . i watched her until she took a turn toward the stairs and out of my sight . i closed my door still standing in the hallway and listened . i could hear nothing so i went into the vacant room between isabeaus room and mine . i could hear her crying . it was getting louder and then there was crashing , and i went into the hallway and tried her door handle . i knocked , but she didnt open the door . she was yelling and more things were crashing . i heard glass shatter and hated how useless i felt . going back into the vacant room and opened up the window . there was a small ledge there , much too small to stand on and the balcony in isabeaus room was too far to jump to . take me too . i heard her scream and more glass shattered . i went back out into the hallway and pounded on the door . the room fell silent , and i panicked . what if she did something stupid ? i pounded on the door again but there was no response . there was no one in the hallway and no one in sight or within hearing distance . i couldnt just stand here and wait and see . i ran back through the vacant room and climbed out on the tiny ledge . i would never make the jump . my heart pounded , and my hands were instantly soaking as i looked down from the three story ledge . i dont know if i could actually hear her whispering on the wind or if i was so terrified that i imagined her voice whispering , im coming duncan , wait for me . please make it . i jumped , launching myself from a surface that in that moment felt much bigger . i didnt land on her balcony , and my silent scream tore at my throat as i caught myself with my left hand on a bar of the balustrade . i was dangling and slipping . my right hand found a grip and i tried again to scream for help but the blessing of silence was still upon me . i didnt have the strength to lift myself up onto the balcony with my arms . i tried to swing my foot up so i could use my legs , but i couldnt get a foot hold . i almost let go when i heard my own voice on the wind . im going to fall ! nicholas was sticking his head out of my bedroom window . he dropped out and my palms slipped away from the bar . my fingertips were all that was holding me and when the glass doors to the balcony opened my fingertips slipped , and i was falling . isabeau was screaming . strong arms encircled me . catching me and propelling me back up toward isabeau and onto her balcony . i was alive and so was isabeau . she hugged me , and we both cried while nicholas demanded to know why i had tried to kill myself . i couldnt answer him , and even if i could i didnt want to out isabeau , who had whispered to me twice that she was so sorry . when seraph and brea were let into isabeaus room , i was taken to my room . seraph was furious wanting to know how i could have been so stupid . she cried the entire time she yelled at me , and i just listened . not that i could talk if i wanted to . isabeau would have to out herself . anytime now , isabeau . brea and nicholas came in a few minutes later and brea hugged me crying while nicholas whispered to seraph . i hugged brea back knowing that although i already loved isabeau like a sister , brea loved her as a real mother should . she thanked me and was crying so hard it took both seraph and nicholas to help her from my room . isabeau was sitting at her dresser looking into a shattered mirror when i entered her room . duncan is probably never going to forgive me for almost doing something so stupid . she looked at me and stood up . i cant believe you tried to jump onto my balcony . her brown eyes filled with tears again . i cant believe i was being such a selfish idiot . i hugged her wishing that grandma sidney was there with the perfect thing to say .

i was hoping you wouldnt pick up on that , he said . 7.7 percent , remember ? ive got to get you back before theres no room for your ego over here . we both laughed at that one . well , i said , theres only one way to find out . with a flash , we were gone . i dont think boris even noticed we had disappeared . __________ we were back in the room with the same 4 people . i looked them over as they lay there , and found myself wondering if they viewed life in real time . if so , maybe they had nothing better to do , and really got into the mundane aspects of human existence in the distant past not that my time in the coma had been mundane , mind you . however , i would hate to think that they spent days and days hooked up viewing the first 24 years of my existence . they must have been bored out of their gourds if they had had to tap into that . i hoped for their sake that it was like a download , and they got the whole timeline in just a few hours . after our first trip there , it had occurred to me , why only four ? giddeon thought that maybe they were among the first to use such technology , and it wasnt in widespread use , yet . i was partial to the hypothesis that the group was related and they were experiencing it together like watching a television show on family night . what mattered was if they had information that could help melody . this time , they all opened their eyes at once . __________ immediately , i got that same feeling of warmth and compassion as before . no holograms appeared as they did , the first time , and it occurred to me that most likely that had been for our benefit so we would know what it was that they had been seeing . the original female on the end smiled . just the slightest upward curvatures marked the corners of her mouth , and several seconds passed . as time dragged out , i began to think that they werent going to help us , or maybe , that they couldnt . i feared that they were constrained by laws , or physics , or some futuristic morality . __________ then , through the wall came a tray , for lack of a better word . it hovered silently in the middle of the room , so giddeon and i stepped up to it . there , on a piece of paper plain ordinary paper was writing . i beheld a list of ingredients some i recognized and some i didnt thirteen in all . there was a paragraph concerning the proper amounts , and how to prepare and administer them as an elixir . i could tell giddeon was memorizing what was before him , and i did my best to do the same . he was done almost instantaneously it took me the better part of five minutes , mainly because i kept repeating it to myself over and over to make sure i had it right . the tray then made an exit just as something else made an entrance through the smooth surface of the silver wall . or , at least the closest copy of him possible . he sauntered to the middle of the room and sat there looking at us with big , yellow eyes oddly , there was a small scar on his face . he meowed , and then turned his attention to licking a paw and rubbing at the old wound . chapter 67 my heart was hammering when we returned . our boris had moved to the couch , and , i could have sworn he was smiling . he licked a paw and rubbed at his face , also . i shook my head and turned to giddeon . im not sure i remember it all ! i asked and exclaimed . got it dont worry . giddeon walked over , sat down at the table and produced a pen and paper . he recorded what we had seen . i was very quiet while he did that , not wanting to disrupt his train of thought . when he finished , i had him check it against my version while i recited what was in my head . i was pleased that i had remembered it verbatim , too . plan b sounds kind of nasty , said gid . plus , she has to drink it every day for a year . i cant believe it they actually communicated with us , again . theyre trying to help . i sat down on the couch next to boris . thats not even original . best i could do on short notice . i accepted his explanation . it just seems like they could be jeopardizing their own existence . boris meowed and rolled over onto his side , wanting to be petted . i reached over and scratched him on his belly . ive been thinking about that , said giddeon . maybe you cant jeopardize your own existence when new worlds are created with each and every decision new timelines and new probabilities , you know ? its all so confusing , i said . or , maybe weve been thinking about time all wrong , in our frame of reference . you remember the way some say space is curved ? he continued , that would include time . it may not really be a straight line because reality could be more like a sphere .

a pawn in everyones game but by own ? the barrel is wide this close to my skull . if i had sweat glands , they 'd be working overtime . he has to pull the trigger . i gave him the orders . there is no way out . the answer then comes to me . it is so simple . it is the only choice . it is time to end like an enforcer . before r17 realizes , i am running in the opposite direction . before i 've completely processed my thought , i am halfway across the chamber . a flash of plasma buzzes past me . it wo n't be long until r17 's pistol pops another . pulling over one of the scattered chairs , i land on the obsidian floor . r17 cries , crouching behind the minister of marketing 's throne . something i should have done nearly half a century ago . i am choosing to end on my terms . '' a traitor ? '' `` traitor ? this chaos ? we are meant to prevent it . whoever is stealing this information , these activists , they shall know what these leaders truly think of them , of us all , we rusty pawns . `` what about your duty ? this is that purpose , captain . '' `` their purpose ! i 've lasted this long because i only obeyed that purpose . i 've been unable to prevent new babel 's fall because i 've never done anything else . i enabled its corruption . now is time to serve something greater . '' i can not let you do this , he says and a blue bolt streaks past me . as you should n't . big red caps then flash in my vision : upload complete in 10 ... just a little longer . like a prisoner unleashed , i dash for the door far across the empty chamber , then -- balled in a knot of metal , r17 rolls into the middle of my path . 9 lunging forward , i attack . fist forward , head down , momentum in the thrust . unfortunately , r17 is unrolling , whipping out his pistol . 8 in mid-air , the blast hits me in the chest . it tingles as it swells through me . melting through my uniform , the plasma radiates through the interwoven fibers of my body , sintering them with a hint of burnt plastic . luckily , my sinex casing absorbs most of the blast , redirecting the energy . in that fraction of a millisecond , i get an idea . i 'll only be able to do it once , it 'll leave my skin as brittle as a bone , but i only need a few more seconds . i reroute all that surplus energy through my skin into my fist as i hammer it down on the back of r17 's neck . 7 the spray of electricity arcs from the contact and loosens r17 from his protected posture . he collapses to the floor as i take off again . 6 the door is only a few feet away . somehow , this seems to be working . 5 a burst of pain stops me . a hole burns through my stomach . entrails of wire , veins of oil , shattered fragments of casing are splattered on the ground before me . 4 i fall to the ground . r17 trots up to me , his pistol still smoking . i am sorry , sir , he says . no , you had to . just as i had to do this . why , sir ? 3 the people must see this . see what we have become . those writhing masses , that unhappy crowd on sector 5 , they will . through my memories , through all these decades of thoughts , they can . r17 slowly raises the gun . 2 remember today , i say . all this is more important than any upgrade . experience is what makes you superior , inspector . all of what happened today will be more of who you are than the way you were built . he stares at me , eyes blank . 1 you know what must be done , i say . i look down the barrel . transmission complete . i finally have served my purpose . his finger tugs the trigger . a 3.14 smile . end intercepted transmission of d-death trojan with r3 's memories , the growing numbers of unhappy would see why they were , infact , in misery . learning the real reason why so many were n't getting better from the pox would enrage them even more . but it was what this hacker , this d-death , would do next that would truly set the citizens free . -nh thank you for reading the citizens . now that you 're finished , please consider writing a review at : http : //www.amazon.com/dp/b00k6wua3o reviews are one of the best ways readers discover great books . i would truly appreciate it . other episodes of the citizens of oblivion : in dreams out now cecilia abandonato has come to the 'city of paradise ' to fulfill a dream - to start a life free of the past .

rose went into orgasm when she felt the warm mass , she lay limp . `` we have ten minutes . '' `` head out to sea , i 've done this before . '' anthony knelt up , changed heading on the auto pilot . rose played and admired his penis , she went down on him , he groaned and began to harden . `` go for it , i 'm really enjoying you , how about you . '' `` he lunged back into her . `` enjoying it , only got six hours of fuel liable to run out . '' `` go go darling give me your fill and take your will . '' the jet was on the tarmac outside the hanger , anthony was over an hour later that he should have been . he shut down and walked rose to the little jet . rose ran to the pilot putting her arms around him , you taking me home . '' `` rose what a pleasant surprise , we better get in the air . '' peter helped her up the short steps from the tarmac . `` you know rose . '' `` i 've flown rose around many times . '' `` you never mentioned it to me . '' `` things are on a need to know basis '' he pulled up the steps and closed the door in haste . anthony could see rose stripping off through the portal windows as the jet fired up , the co pilot was assisting her in discarding her clothing , he could see them embrace and rose fell back out of sight with the co pilot on top of her . he turned to walk back to the chopper and muttered to himself . `` that is the most dangerous women i 've ever met and they say bella is worse , or better depending how you look at it . '' he had a quick look back as the little jet taxied out of sight . `` i 'm going home where i 'm safe . '' jodi was late , this was unusual for her , stanton looked at his watch every few minutes , and she failed to answer her phone . over two hours late jodi entered the kitchen , stanton had been in the den and prepared a coffee when the security system told him she was coming down the street . `` your late i was worried . '' jodi froze , she smelt the air , stanton turned and looked at her . her eyes sparkled , her hair although brushed was uncharacteristically untidy , her blouse appeared crumpled in places . `` red door . '' `` red door , the perfume , its hanging in the air . '' `` i had visitors . '' stanton placed a coffee in next to her on the breakfast bar and they sat down . `` an fbi agent looking for help . '' `` the women . '' `` rose fleming . '' jodi 's face turned to fire . `` yes , she backed mccrae up in lexington , brought him back here , he will come in handy , he 's on the island , rose is on the way back to london . '' jodi suddenly broke down face in her hands . `` oh god , i 'm sorry john . '' stanton was completely bamboozled and dug for clues , he took one of her hands an held it . `` what an earth is wrong , you 're late and i know that twinkle in your eye . '' she took a napkin from the dispenser on the breakfast bar and used it to dry her eyes , talking spasmodically between sobs , stanton pushed her buttock length hair back over her shoulders , the hair band she had used for a pony tail was gone . `` i have the audacity to fly off the handle about rose and ... .. '' she sobbed . `` whatever it is you need to tell me . '' `` i 've been with somebody . '' `` no law against that poppet . '' `` stop mothering me john , i 've been having sex with a young man . '' `` it 's happened before and will probably happen again , i 've been away allot , you have needs . you remember when i first came back and you told me about how and where you got information . '' `` do n't remind me , god i 'm a whore , my father would be disgusted . '' stanton raised his voice and sat upright . `` your father was not exactly whom you thought he was and you use him as a pedestal , we are human beings not robots . '' `` your angry with me . '' `` you 'd like me to be but no . '' `` do you want to get it off your chest ? '' she looked at him , nervous and broken . `` young men are chatting me up , all of a sudden i like it , i 've tried to stop but ... '' there was silence . `` but you enjoy it . '' `` yes , there i 've said it , i 'm a damn whore like bella and that blonde thing that was here . '' `` firstly young men have chatted you up all your life , look in the mirror jodi , what do you see .

marie and i staring at each other , glancing over at the searchlights outside the windows , hearing the footsteps of the guards , the occasional cough or sneeze , or , heaven forbid , the crack of a rifle bolt because a rabbit disturbed a garden ? that 's not living , that 's imprisonment . your sister and i could n't handle it . '' `` neither could i , not the way you describe it . but what can paris solve ? '' `` i can find him . `` he 's got the manpower over there . '' `` i 've got jason bourne , '' said david webb . `` i do n't buy that crap ! '' `` neither do i , but it seems to work . i 'm calling in your debt to me , johnny . cover for me . tell marie i 'm fine , not hurt at all , and that i 've got a lead on the jackal that only old fontaine could have provided -- which is the truth , actually . a cafand # 65533 ; in argenteuil called le coeur du soldat . tell her i 'm bringing in alex conklin and all the help washington can provide . '' the jackal would hear about it ; he 's got ears up and down the quai d'orsay . solo 's the only way . '' `` do n't you think she 'll know that ? '' `` she 'll suspect it , but she ca n't be certain . i 'll have alex call her , confirming that he 's in touch with all the heavy covert firepower in paris . but first it comes from you . '' `` you should n't have to ask that , bro . i 've put her through enough . '' `` all right , i 'll tell her , but she wo n't believe me . she 'll see right through me , she always has . since i was a kid , those big brown eyes would look into mine , most of the time pissed off , but not like our brothers ' , not -- oh , i do n't know -- not with that disgust in their faces because the `kid ' was a screwup . `` it 's called caring . she 's always cared for you -- even when you were a screwup . '' `` yeah , mare 's okay . '' `` somewhat more than that , i think . call her in a couple of hours and bring them back here . it 's the safest place they can be . how are you going to get to paris ? the connections out of antigua and martinique are lousy , sometimes booked days in advance . '' `` i ca n't use those airlines anyway . i 've got to get in secretly under a shroud . somehow , a man in washington will have to figure it out . he 's got to . '' alexander conklin limped out of the small kitchen in the cia 's vienna apartment , his face and hair soaking wet . in the old days , before the old days fell into a distillery vat , he would calmly leave the office -- wherever it was -- when things got too heavy too fast and indulge himself in an unwavering ritual . he would seek out the best steak house -- again , wherever he was -- have two dry martinis and a thick rare slab of meat with the greasiest potatoes on the menu . the combination of the solitude , the limited intake of alcohol , the blood-rare hunk of beef and , in particular , the grease-laden potatoes , had such a calming effect on him that all the rushing , conflicting complexities of the hectic day sorted themselves out and reason prevailed . he would return to his office -- whether a smart flat in london 's belgravia square or the back rooms of a whorehouse in katmandu -- with multiple solutions . it was how he got the sobriquet of saint alex of conklin . he had once mentioned this gastronomical phenomenon to mo panov , who had a succinct reply : `` if your crazy head does n't kill you , your stomach will . '' these days , however , with postalcoholic vacuum and various other impediments , such as high cholesterol and dumb little triglycerides , whatever the hell they were , he had to come up with a different solution . it came about by accident . one morning during the iran-contra hearings , which he found to be the finest hours of comedy on television , his set blew out . he was furious , so he turned on his portable radio , an instrument he had not used in months or perhaps years , as the television set had a built-in radio component -- also inoperable at the time -- but the portable radio 's batteries had long since melted into white slime . his artificial foot in pain , he walked to his kitchen telephone , knowing that a call to his television repairman , for whom he had done several favors , would bring the man running to his emergency .

damon raised an eyebrow . `` well , i 'd be remiss if i did n't say things were interesting here . '' his lips curved in a private sort of smile that made me suddenly want to grab his shoulders and shake him . the force of my emotions surprised me , so much so that i had to sit down and shove into my mouth a muffin from the overflowing basket on the table . i 'd never felt jealous of my brother before , but suddenly i was dying to know : had katherine ever snuck up to his bedroom ? last night , she 'd seemed so nervous about getting caught , having me promise over and over again that i 'd never breathe a word to anybody about what we 'd done . betsy , the cook , came in , her arms laden with plates of grits , bacon , and eggs . my stomach rumbled , and i realized i was starving . i quickly tucked in , reveling in the saltiness of the eggs combined with the sweet bitterness of my coffee . it was as if i 'd never tasted breakfast before and my senses were finally awakened . i sighed in contentment , and damon looked up in amusement . `` i knew all you needed was some fresh air and good food , '' damon said . and katherine , i thought . `` now let 's go outside and cause some trouble . '' damon smiled wickedly . `` father 's in his study , doing his demon studies . do you know he even has robert in on it ? '' damon shook his head in disgust . while i did n't necessarily believe all the discussion about demons , i did respect father enough to not make fun of his thoughts . it made me feel vaguely disloyal to hear damon 's dismissal of him . `` i 'm sorry , brother . '' damon shook his head and scraped his chair back against the slate floor . `` i know you do n't like it when father and i fight . '' he walked over to me , pulling out my chair from under me , almost causing me to fall . i scrambled to my feet and good-naturedly shoved him back . damon called with glee . `` now , let 's go ! '' he ran out the back door , letting the door slam shut . cordelia used to scream at us for that offense as children , and i laughed when i heard her familiar groan from the kitchen . i ran toward the center of the lawn , where damon had unearthed the oblong ball we 'd been tossing two weeks before . `` here , brother ! damon panted , and i turned and leapt into the air , just in time to catch the pigskin in my arms . i pulled it tightly to my chest and began running toward the stable , the wind whipping my face . `` y boys ! '' a voice called , stopping me in my ou tracks . katherine was standing on the porch of the carriage house , wearing a simple , cream-colored muslin dress and looking so innocent and sweet that i could n't believe that what happened last night was n't a dream . `` burning off excess energy ? `` i sheepishly turned around and walked toward the porch . `` playing catch ! '' i explained , hastily throwing the ball to damon . katherine reached behind her , braiding her curls down the back of her neck . i had a sudden fear that she thought we were tiresome with our childish game and that she 'd come out here to scold us for waking her so early . but she simply smiled as she settled on the porch swing . damon called from his position on the lawn . he held the ball far back behind his head as if he were about to throw it toward her . katherine wrinkled her nose . besides , i feel people who need props for their games and sports are lacking in imagination . '' `` stefan has imagination . '' `` y should hear him read poetry . he 's like a ou troubadour . '' he dropped the ball and ran toward the porch . `` damon has imagination . y should see ou the imaginative way he plays cards , '' i teased as i reached the steps of the porch . katherine nodded at me as i bowed to her but did n't make any other effort to greet me . i stepped back , momentarily stung . why had n't she at least given me her hand to kiss ? had n't last night meant anything to her ? `` i am imaginative , especially when i have a muse . '' damon winked at katherine , then stepped in front of me to grab her hand . he brought it to his lips , and my stomach churned . `` thank you , '' katherine said , standing up and walking down the porch steps , her simple skirts swishing down the stairs . with her hair pulled back from her eyes , she reminded me of an angel . she gave me a secret smile , and finally i relaxed .

strolling near to him , she said , ive got a sworn affidavit for ashley to sign stating she witnessed your promise to my mother . we will take it to court if you dont honor your promise to my mother before then . her attorney said that if ernie wanted to change his mind , it was his prerogative , but perhaps the affidavit would convince him otherwise . however , if he died intestate , which meant without a will , then tennessee law dictated who received whatjeremiah had first rights , albert second , and she and felicity were third in line . along with casey , should annie ever prove her paternity claim . without jeremiah in the picture , delaney knew she would have a better chance in court . armed with ernies deathbed promise to her mother , the lawyer said it would then depend upon whether uncle albert fought her for titlesomething she was certain would not happenand which judge heard the case . who sat on the bench was anyones guess . ernies eyes became beads of hate in his colorless face . he pulled the pipe from his mouth and rubbed the white whiskers of his jaw . what do you want , delaney ? i want the property . she wants money , clem responded for her . its not the money , she said to clem , irked by his nosey presence . but ernie knows my desire runs deeper . its about family and tradition . its about ensuring my daughter has a place to live , a legacy to pass on . she paused , allowing it to sink in . its what you were supposed to do , uncle ernie . my mother would turn in her grave if she knew you were even considering allowing this property to fall out of family hands . he didnt reply and clem became squirrely . youre as greedy as they come , dell . he sees right through you , cant you see that ? its up to you , ernie , she said , without acknowledging clem . this isnt about me , its about felicity . your granddaughter , she emphasized , as though it were a fact that had slipped his mind . we can play nice , or we can play ugly , but one way or another , felicity and i will not be kicked off of ladd springs . without another word , delaney stomped off to her truck . boots crunching over gravel , she hoped it sunk in . she hoped ernie would remember his sister and do what was right . clems cozy visits were doing nothing but stir up mudespecially after his stupid stunt in the forest . what the hell possessed him to do such a thing ? hed been after her all through high school , but since she married and divorced jack , not a peep . she swung open the door to her truck and hopped in . it was strange behavior , even for him . shed brought up the part about jeremiah , because delaney suspected clem and annie had a thing , years back , but it was only speculation . was casey clems daughter ? she turned the ignition and tore out of the driveway . sure would make her life easier if she was . delaney drove the short distance to ashley fulmers house , a modest log cabin sitting on ten acres of manicured lawn , a backdrop of forest to the rear . potted plants filled with flowers hung across the front porch , knick knacks of every size and shape littered the walls , hung from shutters , sat perched out by the walkway in welcome . but the eccentric dcor was but one facet of the woman inside . after a quick rap on the door , delaney let herself in and called out for ashley . ashley poked her head out from the kitchen and waved with a toothy grin . hey , darlin ! dressed in denim skirt and sequin-covered fuchsia blouse , her platinum hair twisted high atop her head , she had more bracelets jangling from her wrist than delaney had owned in the course of a lifetime . but ashley was the queen of bling around these parts and clogging champ . when she spruced up for a run on the dance floor , watch outthis woman had fire in her boots , glitter in her eyes and a win in her heart . she and her husband booker were county champs for five years running now . cmon in , make yourself comfy . im in the middle of supper . ashley was her mothers closest friend , closer than any sister could be . she had laughed with her mom during the good times , cried during the bad and held vigil bedside as she fought through the darkest days of her life . smells like someones making pie . youve got a nose like a bloodhound . my blueberries were ready early so i decided to make pie . its in the oven now . delaney laughed softly . what else would you do with blueberries ? aw , honey , you know theyre my weakness . and oh-so-delicious in pie form . ashley laughed in agreement . you know life is good when the blueberries are plump on the bush !

dembe , what does kato mean ? asked daniel , curious . the room went quiet for a moment . said dembe softly . kato . it means second of twins . donald dropped his fork . harrys jaw dropped . daniel bit his lip . mac put his right index finger on his lip and tucked his left hand under his right elbow , coming to the correct conclusion before anyone else did . a long silence hung over the room . rachel broke the silence . donald , asked dembe . baba what ? your twin brother ? donalds jaw went slack . i have a twin brother ? donalds a twin ? balondemu . your older brother , older by fifteen minutes . he had a birthmark , similar to yours . i have a twin brother , donald was perplexed . i have no recollection . what happened to balomd dem mu ? daniel struggled to pronounce it . balondemu , repeated dembe , his eyes filled with pain . it means , the chosen one . the first born male was very important in our tribal culture yes ? harry couldnt contain his curiosity . he was also taken that night . the same night as donald . taken with me ? tears ran down donalds cheeks . harry put his arm around donald . theres very little chance hes alive , continued dembe . but then i thought the same about you donald . maybe perhaps , in our work in northern uganda with new hope maybe we will find him . a download of expectation charged the circle of family and friends . dembe turned slowly to harry . mzee , he said softly . then it will be even better than this ! the end about the author craig r. kirkby and his wife lorna are currently based in melbourne australia with their two daughters hannah and jenna . having served as a pastor and missionary for twenty years , he has a passion to inspire jesus-followers , young and older , and to catalyse kingdom exploits in our world today . check out his personal weblog here www.abetterfuturenow.com and the dayspring adventure series weblog here www.dayspringadventure.wordpress.com gaia elios and gaia series by monica la porta smashwords edition this is a work of fiction . copyright 2013 by monica la porta all rights reserved , including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form . discover more works from monica la porta at http : //www.monicalaporta.com table of contents dedication gaia backstory and acknowledgements the team about the author other book by monica la porta dedication to mom . chapter 1 i first saw him in a crowded street , in a crowded city , on a sunny summer day . i was on vacation with my family , visiting greece for the first time . i was eighteen , with long , ash-blond hair and hazel eyes always on the verge of changing to a dark green . athens was warm that day , the sun kissing my skin , the radiance of the daylight caressing my eyes like a lovers hand . my father had just parked the car , and i was happily basking in the mediterranean light while the constant humming of the engines passing nearby made me feel drowsy . the only sound out of register was my sister claras crystalline voice laughing at something silly i had just said , which kept me from falling asleep right there on the sidewalk . a playful wind tangled my hair and brought to my sensitive nose the smell of freshly baked honey-dipped pastries . i smiled , turning my head to see where the bakery was , when a single sunbeam touched only my lips , warming them . the air stood still , the sweet aroma disappeared , and the wind stopped moving my unruly haireven the luminosity waned , coloring the ancient city in an ethereal light . i became suddenly aware of somethingsomeone . a sudden sparkle of electricity in the air gave me goose bumps . my whole body reacted as if magnetized , and i turned my head slowly toward a precise point in the middle of the street , where i singled out one car slowing to a halt . i dont remember the make or the color of the car at all , but i will always remember his eyes staring back at melight blue , with a hint of green and lots of gold , full of wonder and relief and sadness all at the same time . i had only a few seconds to contemplate his face , but it felt like a lifetime to me . he was tanned , with regular features . his nose was beautiful and straight , his mouth a faded pink , cracked by exposure to the sun and the sea wind , his curly , untamed blond mane equally sun bleached . he had a mona lisa smile , his lips curved upward even though he wasnt smiling at all . i existed out of time , content to be pulled by the invisible force emanating from his eyes .

`` why are you ignoring my question , sofia ? '' claws appeared from her hands and , without warning , she launched herself toward my chest . i managed to catch her hands just before they dug deep . abby , stop it ! '' `` you tore out my mommy 's heart . now i 'll tear out yours . '' i managed to scramble to my feet so i could take advantage of my height . unable to reach me , she sank her teeth deep into my right arm . the pain caused me to lose my grip on her . she positioned herself on a high rock and was about to jump on me again when ashley appeared behind her , grabbing her by the waist and hurling her to the ground against the sharp stone floor . but this barely deterred abby . she got up and this time turned on ashley . letting out a shriek , she climbed up the rock and grabbed ashley 's foot , making ashley tumble to the ground . abby followed her down and , with her claws still bared , was about to tear through ashley 's throat when a chilling breeze entered the cave . abby let out a small scream and halted mid-motion . her eyes turned translucent and her mouth hung open awkwardly . then she stepped back and made her way toward the exit of the cave . as she left , her own voice said : `` you need to control yourself , little girl . we ca n't have you spoiling perfectly capable vessels . '' abby left the cave and sped down the mountain . `` where do you think it 's taking her ? '' `` to be locked up with the others , i guess . that one 's feisty . '' ashley was still catching her breath . i stood rooted to the spot , stunned . my sweet little abby . where has she gone ? i thought about my best friend , ben . and then his parents . they had lost their lives because of their connection to me . i ca n't let that happen to abby . i had n't noticed a second cold breeze enter the cave until ashley let out a cry . her body contorted before she stood upright . her eyes were still clear though and her face looked normal ; i assumed she must have paid a visit to the witch in the cells like i had . `` i 've given you enough rest . now we have work to do . '' she walked toward the exit and began to climb down the mountain . as if to answer me , another cold breeze blew through the cave , but this time it settled within my own bones . my mouth spoke . i climbed down the mountain after ashley and followed her back toward the direction of the port . on arrival , we were met with a dozen vampires huddled together and talking with each other-all of them female . many of them had familiar faces ; they were residents of the shade , but most of them i had never spoken to . each of them had a normal appearance like ashley and i , but it was clear from their conversations that they too were possessed . a beautiful young vampire with black hair walked up to ashley and i , handing us two short cocktail dresses . `` put these on . we 're leaving in a moment . '' everyone else was wearing the same type of clothing , the type one would wear on a night out or to a party . without considering modesty , ashley and i stripped and quickly pulled the new garments over our bodies . what on earth are we doing ? my voice spoke up above the chattering . `` yes , '' they replied in unison . my head turned toward a large submarine that had just surfaced . it was the biggest i 'd seen of the shade 's fleet . it looked capable of carrying at least a hundred people . the hatch opened and we began to pile in . i was the last to enter . i closed the hatch behind me and climbed down the metal ladder . while ashley and the others took seats in the main passenger area , i headed directly to a small room at the front of the ship , where i found liana sitting in the captain 's seat behind all the main controls . once again , it seemed like she would be forced to navigate the submarine to wherever we were headed . `` i need another vial . '' i held out my right arm to show liana where abby had bitten me . i had almost forgotten about the wound . she reached into her cloak and withdrew another one . i gulped down the sweet blood and within a few moments i had healed . i sat down in a chair next to liana . she started moving switches and punching in coordinates . then she took hold of the wheel and we jolted forward . her eyes were still translucent , yet i knew that she must now be in control of her actions for her to be navigating the submarine . it must have been a struggle to control such a large piece of machinery with impaired vision , but she was managing it somehow . there was n't much to look at as i sat there .

she parried the swords coming her way , and then she counter attacked . some people used brute strength to hammer blows on their opponents , but joyahs strokes were full of grace . they formed beautiful lines after hours upon hours in the studio . the last man she faced was the treacherous jeweler . joyah swiped her sword across his chest , sending something he had been wearing around his neck flying . he lunged in , planning to catch her while she was off balance . but joyah had recovered faster than he had anticipated and sidestepped . she brought the hilt of her sword up as he came in . it connected with his forehead , and he dropped like a stone . with all of her side taken out , she turned to deal with the other side . joyah was surprised to find that her helper was successfully holding off his opponents , and they even bore marks from his sword . joyah and her helper finished them off quickly . joyah knelt by the pendant that she had cut off the jeweler . it was a black square the size of her palm with a symbol of a white thorny vine loosely winding around itself . joyah looked up at her helper . he was a boy who seemed around her age and size . he had short black hair that got longer and stuck up when it got towards his forehead , pale skin , and chocolate brown , olive shaped eyes . she could tell from his clothes that he came from a higher class family . he was holding her sword in one hand and had an incredulous look on his face . dont you know any better than to go waving that around ? ! he gestured to the crystal joyah was still holding in her hand . i didnt go waving it around , she snapped . i was showing it to a jeweler for help identifying it . i was trying to keep it hidden from people who might steal it , which is impressive that i knew to do that since where i come from people dont just attack one another for crystals . it obviously didnt work since you saw it . how did you see it ? i was in the stall next to the jewelers , he said . i got a lucky glimpse of it . then i saw you follow him to here . its lucky i did , too . you wouldnt have held out much longer . its actually incredible you held them out this long . there was a martial arts studio where i came from , she said dismissively . do you recognize this ? she held out the pendant . he walked over to the first man joyah had struck down . i recognize him , though . hes part of the river boys . a bunch of these guys are . who are the river boys ? a big street gang , the boy said . no one knows why they picked that name , since theres no river around here . anyway , theyre a bunch of thugs . i have no idea how they got so good at fighting like that . the boy looked at the hand in which joyah held the red crystal . joyah looked down . the cut from blocking a sword with her arm was dripping blood . she raised it horizontally so it didnt drip onto the crystal . doesnt it hurt ? joyah set down her pack and opened it . she was careful not to drip blood on it . she took out a bandage and wrapped it around her forearm . she did not do a very good job of it , seeing that she could only use one arm . the boy sighed and squatted to help her tie it . you might as well come to my house to get this cleaned and properly bandaged . joyah gave him a wary look . the last person who helped me tried to kill me . well , considering i just saved your life i think you can trust me , he said . or you could have saved my life to gain my trust so you could take the crystal yourself , joyah pointed out . the boy rolled his eyes . one minute youre overly trusting and the next youre paranoid . make up your mind ! the boy stood up and slung joyahs pack over his shoulder . and youre coming with me . joyah sighed and jogged to catch up . you know , joyah said as they walked side by side . im jeffery , he said . jeffery raymond , though you can call me jeff . im joyah pain . jeffs house was in the middle-to-large range for the city , but to joyah it was huge . her idea of a large house had been six rooms , a wood floor , and a door for each room . jeffs house had big double doors and stone steps leading up . it had two floors and many , many rooms . it was made from gray stone with slate roofing . the windows actually had glass , and they each had a curtain that could be drawn across to hide the room inside . jeffery pushed open one of the doors and walked in . joyah followed . the room beyond had a grand staircase with a blue carpet and shining wood railings . the floor was marble , and the walls were painted white .

priya bhardwaj 2014 to the moon ... a disk , a globe , a crescent shape ; to dance , to fly on high ; waxing and waning , waning and waxing ; endless revolving cycles ; eternal lunar moods ; wandering , passing time languidly and aimlessly ; too distant , alone , far away from our perfect home ; yearning , pining , amongst ancient stars ; a reliable friend to brighten the night ; hot cider , a companion moon , and shelter from the cold ; together we both lament her loss ; together til the very last ; gazing upon the midnight heavens , that autumn weight , tormenting loss ; queen of the night ; protector from the darkness ; stirrer of passions ; pass the cider ; a toast to the moon p.w collier 2014 when love came knocking by sonya c. dodd cold . the nightmare was becoming a regular occurrence now or was it a dream ? it always began scarily but i was assured of a happy ending , wasnt i ? i tried to comfort myself that something would eventually have to give and i hoped it wouldnt be my sanity . i was trapped in an enclosed space , unable to move and although i kept telling myself it wasnt real , it was still terrifying . abandoned and alone , i waited for the end , never quite sure whether it would be the happy ever after which came or whether by some sick twist of fate the ending would change and id be left to slowly die in here . meanwhile time stood still . the cold crept over me like invading fingers of ice , clawing at my skin . the darkness was silent and kept me oblivious to my surroundings . the fear fed on itself , building the tension without let up until my mind would suddenly thrust me back into the land of the living , reality : the life i knew . this time something was different though . my bedsit in east london remained out of reach . the darkness was particularly enveloping and dense , almost suffocating in its intensity . the fear was ever present but tonight something had altered . tonight i knew i was waiting . i had no idea what i was waiting for but it was evident there was going to be an awakening , a purpose or end to the perpetual anticipation . tonight time was at a premium . why i bothered keeping my eyes open in the darkness , i had no idea . however it now showed me that the blackness was perhaps becoming less dense and i was positive i could almost feel some warmth on my bare arms . my ears had stopped ringing in the silence too . the distant sound of birdsong carried to my ears . i wanted to smile but my fear was increasing because i was moving into unknown territory . after a while i knew i was definitely looking into grey nothingness rather than black and a blackbird seemed to be singing right overhead , although i couldnt see it . something bumped against my prison . it was near my feet but i couldnt move my head to see . then i saw a shadow moving upwards . it was coming towards me and i prepared myself to scream . with the sound stuck in my throat , i relaxed as a deer came into view . it was hazy , as though it was surrounded by a thick fog . the animal appeared to be unaware of my presence and fed on grass or roots outside my tomb . the grey was still getting lighter and there was a hint of blue mixed in with the darker shades . i surmised i must be outside and the blue was the sky . with the deer in close proximity and the birds singing all around me now , i guessed i must be in some wilderness where the creatures were unused to human contact . a squirrel hopped up onto the screen in front of my face . it sat munching on a nut which it held between its front paws . i wanted to knock on the glass and see its reaction when it looked down and saw me but my arms were pinned tightly at my sides . i realised the warmth was increasing along with the growing light . the sun was warming me . it was as though i had been trapped in a never-ending night which had finally been broken with a new dawn . the squirrel and deer suddenly looked up , facing the same direction i could see their hesitation and fear . in a flash they both took off leaving me alone . whatever had scared them was heading in my direction . i could hear fast-moving footsteps . it sounded like a horse . would there be a rider ? i was now looking up into a blue sky . the footsteps stopped and there was a rustling sound then a thump on the ground . someone had definitely dismounted . i held my breath and clenched my eyes tightly shut . if i was about to die i didnt want to see my assailant . a sudden rush of air told me the lid had been removed from above me . a clean , fresh smell of woodland air filled my nostrils . put me out of my misery quickly , i prayed to no one in particular . i could sense someone looking at me . i wondered what they were thinking as they looked at my tensed face . did they find it amusing to hold such power over me ? then there was a soft brushing of lips against my cheek , followed by my lips . in spite of my terror i felt my eyes opening . i had to see who had planted the lightest of kisses upon me . a handsome , chiselled face framed with brown waves of hair . his eyes were almost green in colour and drew me into their warmth . i didnt know this stranger but i found myself smiling back at him . he offered me his hand which i accepted . shakily i rose from my resting place . his grip felt firm as i rested my weight against him , unsteady on my feet from lying down for so long . i glanced around us and saw we were on a high spot of ground with trees below us spreading out as far as the eye could see .

oh , well , said skeres , youre the government agent , mr poley , the man trusted with secret documents , youre so smart , you come up with an idea ! i will , mr skeres , hissed poley , dont you worry , i will . there was silence as they stared at the forlorn figure . i have it , said a voice triumphantly . it was poley . whats your solution , mr government agent ? snarled skeres . the judgement of solomon , mr skeres . seeing as you have cut him , then he shall cut you . lie down , mr skeres , while we do some surgery . youre not cutting me ! poley moved forward , and leaned into skeres ' face . this is the only way out , mr skeres , he hissed . what 's the plan , then ? interrupted frizer . we cut you , mr skeres , and cut ? nothing serious , mind . at least , nothing that will cause you more than a little inconvenience . but we spread the blood around a bit , get you to scream in agony , make it look much worse than it is . and then we call in the owner of this most commodious house , dame eleanor . theres been a terrible fight , we say . our young theatrical friend here , after a long day on the wine , got nasty about paying the bill , and suddenly grabbed mr skeres knife from his belt when he wasnt looking , dame eleanor , and stabbed him . naturally enough , mr skeres was surprised by all this . we all were , as you can imagine , madam . but mr skeres had the presence of mind to wrestle the knife from his enraged attacker , and , in the mle that followed , alas , had to strike him a similar blow in self-defence , and now he is dead . sound all right to me , said frizer , slowly . its all right for you - you dont get cut ! shouted skeres . listen , hissed poley , you are a low-life con-artist , skeres , a skiver , double-dealer and street-wise poltroon in the employ of sir thomas . and as i am the most senior man in this group here , you will do what i tell you . thats the point , replied skeres , with a smarmy tone in his voice . i am just a low-life con-artist , and proud of it . so , who would believe that this man would attack me over a bill when i have never paid a bill in my life ! there was silence , as poley looked across to frizer . hes right , said frizer . itll have to be me , instead . cut me , not him . it will look more convincing that , in his rage , our friend here has attacked the one who would obviously be paying the bill , and that is me , sir thomas personal servant . poley looked down at the floor , and went into deep thought . all right , then , said poley slowly after a few moments . see , you 're not as smart as you make out , mr government agent , said skeres . shut up , skeres . besides , theres one further little hiccup to your great plan , added skeres , as derek felt another prod in the chest . he aint dead yet . ive thought of that , too , mr skeres . after all , i am also tired and want to go home , too . here , take this pillow , place it over his head , and do your duty . for a moment , no one moved in the room . then derek heard the footsteps , felt the cool satin of the pillow on his skin , valiantly tried to struggle against the increasing pressure against face , but could not resist the final curtain of death coming down on his sad , unfulfilled career . the only feeling of goodness surging through his body was the realisation that on this day , his final day of existence , he had , unwittingly or otherwise , played his greatest ever character role . and when the alarm was raised , and dame eleanor rushed in , and heard the explanations , and saw the body in the green doublet lying on the bed bleeding , she put her head in her hands and sobbed , my god , my god , what a tragedy . the great christopher marlowe graced this house with his presence today - and now he lies here dead chapter twenty at first , the on-duty sentry at the port of deptford thought it was a mirage . after all , with the plague knocking people down like flies , staff resources were stretched , and he had been standing there with his spear for seven hours straight , without so much as a drink of water . maybe his eyes were playing tricks . he blinked twice , shook his head , and looked again . no , it had not gone away . it was still there , advancing inexorably down the muddy road from london toward him .

she walked over and sat beside him . `` brother hesus , why are you sad . is n't this wonderful news ? '' hesus nodded `` yes indeed . it is very good news for you and your sisters . but just when i found my best friends , you will all leave me . '' his head sunk lower . `` oh i 'm so sorry . i should have explained . dear brother hesus , you have to come with us . without your translation of the greek texts we do n't know what to do with the special herbs and medicines . i asked abbott jowan , and he wants you to come as well , and work in their scriptorium . it 's only small now , but they can enlarge it '' `` but i explained before - i wo n't be allowed to work in the scriptorium . `` cried hesus . `` ah , but we have a plan . '' `` you wo n't write anything . you will be just like galan of pergamon . you will read the greek texts and dictate in latin to the scribes . they will write it down . '' `` said hesus in a hopeful tone . `` but i do n't know how to , what do you call it , 'dictate ' . '' laughed fea . `` you read that greek text and spoke to me in latin , as you translated . '' `` that 's 'dictating ' ? '' `` well bless my soul . '' said hesus as he sat there with the biggest grin anyone had ever seen . * * * * the preparations to leave for lios mr took only two days . abbott ecne feigned sorrow , but everyone knew he was pleased to see them go . he initially questioned why brother hesus should go and leave them without a herder , but after a quiet word from the blind brother slane , he gave his blessing . meanwhile abbott jowan , ever keen to ensure his new nuns would arrive as promised , sent two curachs the next day with instructions to the sailors they were to wait at jura until the nuns , together with brother hesus , embarked , and bring them all safely back to lios mr. and so lios mr became a joint monastery , literally overnight , just 102 years after it was first founded by saint moluag from ireland . accommodation was the first order of the day and the monks of lios mr worked feverishly to build first a temporary shelter , then a permanent building for the nuns . fea , as soon as everyone was settled in , began a daily ritual of surveying the island to locate any interesting plants . within a week she discovered dandelion and one of the farmers wives showed her where liquorice plants grew . brother hesus was installed in the small scriptorium where two monks were allocated to him , to transcribe all the greek texts he dictated , into latin . within a month a building was set aside to act as the infirmary . it was divided into male and female wards , but sister fea was firmly in control of both sections along with her former 'milk maids ' . * * * * brother hesus had soon translated all the greek texts they had brought from st brigit 's . fea sat with him every night trying to understand the complexities of the writings of the greek physician galen , as well as other greeks galen referred to ; hippocrates of kos , [ hippocrates is considered the 'father of modern medicine . he invented the hippocratic oath for physicians , which is still in use today ] who died approximately 370 bc ; and herophilus of chalcedon , who worked at the alexandria medical school in egypt . fea noted that herophilus distinguished between arteries and veins - arteries pulse , while veins do not . galen also noted the difference : venous blood is dark while arterial blood is bright . fea was also pleasantly surprised , when one of the scribes working in the scriptorium , noting fea 's interest in medicine , pointed out several health related items in the hebrew text called the torah , [ the five books of moses , later incorporated into the christian old testament ] . these included ; ( i ) hand washing after handling a dead body [ numbers 19:11-19 ] ( ii ) isolating infected people ; [ leviticus 13:45-46 ] and ( iii ) burying excrement away from the camp . [ deuteronomy 23:12-13 ] hearing of this good work , other monasteries , including iona , began sending copies of medical treatise they had translated from egyptian , greek and hebrew . one gem sent by iona , was the babylonian medical text , diagnostic handbook , which was written by physician esagil-kin-apli , around 1,050 bc .

we have both locations under multiple surveillance with teams on constant stand by in case anyone chooses to leave . one team has commandeered an empty apartment in a building within sight of the device and weve put the technician in with them , the back of the building is covered by rotating teams so they cant possibly move it without our knowing , the only danger is that they arm it in place ! well know if they do that , said george , everybody doing a sudden flit will be a dead giveaway so its important that everyone be on the ball all the time . they dont seem to be in any sort of hurry though , if they were why bother renting the house and the warehouse ? they could just arm it , leave it somewhere and take off . maybe theyre waiting for something , retorted the commander . georges phone did its demented dance across the table . mudd ! alpha team sir.a gent we havent seen before just entered the house in whitechapel , he was carrying a small suitcase . april in seattle can be either glorious or miserable . seattle gets a ton of rain but the month of april is a shoulder month . this particular april was one of the glorious ones . the cherry trees were in bloom and people were milling around outside as though it were the height of summer . harry vance hadnt heard from obrian too often over the winter . although there had been a couple of glitches last fall they had gotten away with it unscathed . he knew that the second phase of the plan had gone perfectly and that his cousins were safely in london . he periodically checked the operation gypsy file but that seemed to have died a death and gone cold . every now and again he would communicate with obrian using their carefully encrypted system and their private code . although his original thought had always been about the cause , originating in boston with the irish , he found the money useful tooalways the added incentive . he keyed his laptop . nothing new in the file , youre free and clear . obrian checked his messages in his inbox , smiled to himself , deleted everything and turned to his wife . ill be going away in about three days . i have to meet up with a freighter up in liverpool and from there im going over to belfast.. probably be gone about a week . youll be okay for a while on your own ? george slipped into bed besides jen who was reading the paper . he lay there gazing up at the ceiling . okay george , whats going on ? you might be able to kid the others but not me . youve got something cooking and youre not letting on . jen..the problem is that we might well be able to catch the callahans and the russians but for acts of terrorism not murder , however it would be extremely difficult to prove the involvement of either obrian or harry vance and theyre the ones i hold responsible . im not bothered about the russians but the others need to pay . what i have cooking is something that , put simply , will flush them out.thats all . george hang on a minute , she was reading the front page of the newspaper after having read the racing section first , i think i know what theyre waiting for . what who is waiting for sweetheart ? obrian and company..in five days time theres a meeting in london of the commonwealth first ministers . theres a do hosted by the queen and then a series of meetings . the royals are flying down from balmoral in a couple of days . breakfast was a quiet affair . everyones nerves were stretched . for two days there had been no activity either at the warehouse or the townhouse in whitechapel and obrian seemed to be enjoying family life at his home in thurrock . george was worried that the watchers would get careless and the commander was getting pressure from the home secretary . david rowdens phone rang ; he listened carefully and hung up . the fella with the suitcase has just left the house but he took a cab . the other four are still in the house . we have two teams on the cab , looks as though it may be heading towards kings cross . the commander stood and stared at the map on the wall . alert all the teams particularly the teams on obrian . i want to know immediately if he makes a move . george , i want you to go down to kings cross , join the team in the apartment . be very careful.remember kevin callahan knows what you look like . we should also bring in the sas teams now ; we need to be ready to take them down . with the commonwealth conference in three days theres no way the home secretary is going to remain inactive and anything he might do will be a dead giveaway . the end of the beginning . chapter 42 robbie mcelroy and paan stepped off the plane in san jose , costa rica , the heat hitting them like a palpable thing .

when she went silent , grunts and curses and the noise of a scuffle turned every eye in the theatre to his grace 's box . arabella ran to the edge of the stage , but the gas footlights were too bright for her see past . a masculine cry of pain rang through the hall and the audience gasped as a body tumbled out of the box and landed in the aisle a few rows back from the orchestra pit . `` william , bring up the house lights , '' arabella shouted as she ran to the wings and sprinted down the stairs leading from either end of the proscenium . her heart nearly choking her , she shoved her way through the throng to reach the broken man on the floor . he was wearing lord granger 's livery , but she recognized fernand 's pale eyes staring sightlessly under the white wig . the hilt of a dagger protruded from his chest . a debutante in a salmon pink gown swooned , but relief washed over bella in waves . she jerked her gaze up to the duke 's box . there were several men jammed into the space , all with their backs to the main hall , but she could n't see sebastian . the crowd around her began to surge toward the exits and arabella was lifted off her feet , swept along like flotsam on a river in full spate . people shouted and shoved and more than one elbow connected with her ribs . before she knew it , she was outside the theatre . `` make way , '' lord granger bellowed and four men pushed past , bearing the body of a fifth between them . arabella was too far away to catch a glimpse , but they bundled the man into sebastian 's elegant coach . lady moorcroft and lady hermione were handed in after him , their faces taut with concern . the driver snapped the ribbons over the backs of the matched bays and the brougham rattled away over the cobbles , dragging bella 's heart behind it . the long row of private carriages before the theatre meant arabella had to make her way against the throng to a side street where a string of hackneys waited for fares . she gave the driver orders to take her to the duke 's townhouse , offering him one of her earrings as payment since she had no money with her , if he would only hurry . once she reached sebastian 's townhouse , she was met at the door by the butler . she had no right to demand to be taken to his grace , so she asked for his aunt , lady moorcroft . instead she was ushered into the parlor where lady hermione received her . `` oh , miss st. george , you are kindness itself to come at this dark hour . '' sebastian 's sister greeted her with outstretched hands and led her to the sofa . hermione plopped down , her angelic looks marred by weepy eyes and a reddened nose . `` what news of his grace ? '' he was insensate during the ride home and the doctor has n't allowed me into his chamber since . he was so pale . '' `` is n't it awful ? do you think sebastian knew something like this was going to happen ? '' `` why do you think he might have ? '' `` well , he would n't let me sit in his box with him . he insisted we join lord granger 's party instead , '' she said . `` and to be honest , i thought it was because ... well , i thought he was ashamed to be seen in public with me . '' despite her tears , she dimpled in a small smile . `` my aunt has told you all , i understand . '' `` enough to know that his grace cares about you , obviously enough to protect you , '' arabella assured her . `` the duke has never spoken of you as his half-sister to me . only as his sister . '' hermione erupted in fresh tears at this as the butler entered the room . `` his grace is asking for you , miss st. george , '' the man said . `` then he wishes to see lady hermione . '' relief flooded through arabella as she squeezed hermione 's hand and followed the butler out of the parlor and up the long stairs to the ducal suite of rooms . sebastian was sitting up in his bed , pillows propped around him . as hermione had said , his color was poor , but his eyes focused on arabella with a reassuring sizzle . `` out , '' he said , his voice a rasping shadow of its former booming timbre . bella did n't care . `` everyone but miss st . after the door latch clicked behind the doctor , lord granger , and the rest of the people who 'd crowded the space , arabella did n't wait for an invitation . she ran to the bed and climbed in beside him .

it reared out of the black , its dank , granite construction littered with spires and grotesques . at the end of the jetty , a long flight of stone steps wound up to where the building sat , perched on its bluff above the sea ; a heavy wood and iron door in its near face clattering in the swirling winds . he began to crawl , cold and desperate , as he strived to reach the security of the building . then it came to him , a name . it was difficult to pick out through the distant mire of his thoughts , but he could tell it was his name . he ran the memory repeatedly , desperate to extract anything it contained . was it alter ? maybe lestaff-something . he concentrated hard and tried one last time . walter , the figure thought , my name is walter wagstaff . for ten arduous minutes , the newly realized persona of walter scrambled toward the doorway . his muscles urged protest to his motions with every strained attempt to propel himself onward . he shambled , half crawling and half walking , as he rose up the steps and faced the austere edifice . the outside of the institute filled walter with dread . he did not want to go back inside . the thought tore through his mind , as another shaft of brilliance crackled into the railings surrounding the structure . he would not survive outside . no matter what , he must continue on . walter stumbled forward , his world a blur of flashes and noise , as he reached the doorway and sprung through . the polished stone floor of the building was awash in rainwater . walter slipped and slid as he struggled to close the door and keep the elements at bay . eventually , the wind conspired to assist him in his task , and flung the door back into its frame long enough for him to push the bar-lock into its socket , holding it firmly shut . walters mind exploded in joy and triumph . the relief felt , as he collapsed to the floor and leant back against the door , unbridled . he laughed aloud , unable to restrain his emotion . walter wiped his face and began to appraise his surroundings . he sat in a wide entrance corridor , lit with a series of spaced oil lanterns , many of which had blown out in the raging winds . just enough light remained from those still pouring forth their orange warmth to make out a wooden clerks desk to his right . behind that , a bank of numbered pigeonholes contained an assortment of neatly stacked mail . the institute , his mind repeated , sending an involuntary shiver down his spine . he did not like the images that meandered to the surface when he thought about the place . walter stood , holding the lip of the desk to save from tumbling to the ground , and looked down at the floor where water lapped his bare toes . through the half-light of the interior , he could see something , a vague swirl of crimson interspersed with the water . instinctively , his eyes traced along the corridor . each foot further away , the tendrils grew darker and more numerous , until his eyes found the source . walter howled like a wounded animal and turned away from the gruesome scene , but was sure he could still feel the stare of the body in the corridor . for its part , the body remained unmoved , its lifeless eyes directed toward the door , and its brains slowly drooling out across its once pristine , white shirt and on along the corridor of its previous employment . chapter 2 doctor levi thaddeus bolted upright and shook his head . he felt stunned , somehow distant , and yet content . it was a strange ambivalence of thought , but one that pleased him greatly . he was not sure quite what that meant , but even to think the words made him smile . thaddeus stared at his surroundings , unsure of what recently transpired . his memories of anything beyond the vagaries of self were unfortunately absent at present , but that mattered little . here and now was all that was important . if he focussed on that , everything else should fall into place . thaddeus sat in a simple room , about fourteen feet square . a single , iron barred window flashed with the light emanating from an electrical storm raging outside . the walls were bare and reassuringly white , and the floor covered in smooth , porcelain tiles . in front of him , a slightly ajar , iron-barred , oaken door led to a flicker-lit corridor . other than this scant array of pointlessly irrelevant data , there was nothing to give him any sense of where he was or indeed how he had come to find himself here . it was a situation he knew could only be remedied through empirically gathered information . so , he picked himself up and went over to the door , striding carefree into the corridor beyond . just outside on the floor , was the body of a caucasian male , maybe thirty to thirty five years of age . thaddeus knelt down and flipped the mans head over in his hands .

i 'd lost nearly twenty pounds since i 'd begun my neighborhood strolls , and i 'd developed the habit of swinging by the post office box daily to collect items i 'd solicited from others . i worked on my special project while i was at the office to keep it a secret from jane . additionally , i 'd decided to take off the two weeks surrounding our thirtieth anniversary-the longest vacation i 'd ever taken from work-with the intention of spending time with jane . considering what i 'd done the year before , i wanted this anniversary to be as memorable as possible . then , on the evening of friday , august 15-my first night of vacation and exactly eight days before our anniversary-something happened that neither jane nor i would ever forget . we were both relaxing in the living room . i was seated in my favorite armchair , reading a biography of theodore roosevelt , while my wife was leafing through the pages of a catalog . suddenly anna burst through the front door . at the time , she was still living in new bern , but she had recently put down a deposit on an apartment in raleigh and would be moving in a couple of weeks to join keith for the first year of his residency at duke medical school . despite the heat , anna was wearing black . both ears were double pierced , and her lipstick seemed at least a few shades too dark . by this time , i had grown used to the gothic flairs of her personality , but when she sat across from us , i saw again how much she resembled her mother . her face was flushed , and she brought her hands together as if trying to steady herself . `` mom and dad , '' she said , `` i have something to tell you . '' jane sat up and set the catalog aside . i knew she could tell from anna 's voice that something serious was coming . the last time anna had acted like this , she 'd informed us that she would be moving in with keith . but she was an adult , and what could i do ? anna looked from jane to me and back to jane again before taking a deep breath . `` i 'm getting married , '' she said . i 've come to believe that children live for the satisfaction of surprising their parents , and anna 's announcement was no exception . in fact , everything associated with having children has been surprising . there 's a common lament that the first year of marriage is the hardest , but for jane and myself , this was not true . nor was the seventh year , the year of the supposed itch , the most difficult . no , for us-aside from the past few years , perhaps-the most challenging years were those that followed the births of our children . there seems to be a misconception , especially among those couples who 've yet to have kids , that the first year of a child 's life resembles a hallmark commercial , complete with cooing babies and smiling , calm parents . in contrast , my wife still refers to that period as `` the hateful years . '' she says this tongue-in-cheek , of course , but i strongly doubt she wants to relive them any more than i do . by `` hateful , '' what jane meant was this : there were moments when she hated practically everything . she hated how she looked and how she felt . she hated women whose br**sts did n't ache and women who still fit into their clothes . she hated how oily her skin became and hated the pimples that appeared for the first time since adolescence . but it was the lack of sleep that raised her ire most of all , and consequently , nothing irritated her more than hearing stories of other mothers whose infants slept through the night within weeks of leaving the hospital . in fact , she hated everyone who had the opportunity to sleep more than three hours at a stretch , and there were times , it seemed , that she even hated me for my role in all this . after all , i could n't breast-feed , and because of my long hours at the law firm , i had no choice but to sleep in the guest room occasionally so i could function at the office the next day . though i 'm certain that she understood this intellectually , it often did n't seem that way . `` good morning , '' i might say when i saw her staggering into the kitchen . `` how did the baby sleep ? '' instead of answering , she would sigh impatiently as she moved toward the coffeepot . `` up a lot ? '' i 'd ask tentatively . `` you would n't last a week . '' on cue , the baby would start to cry . jane would grit her teeth , slam her coffee cup down , and look as if she wondered why it was that god seemed to hate her so . in time , i learned it was wiser not to say anything . then , of course , there is the fact that having a child transforms the basic marriage relationship . no longer are you simply husband and wife , you are mother and father as well , and all spontaneity vanishes immediately . going out to dinner ?

though she did n't want him to think she was that easy or he was that good , they both had their answers . she did n't need to concern herself with covering her reactions or not being herself . he truly did accept her and the relief she felt knowing that was huge . and more emotionally frightening than she 'd bargained for . he asked , still grinning . she focused on the ceiling as she replied . `` arrogant as you may be , no , you have nothing to worry about . '' `` then i think it 's time we stop talking , do n't you ? '' he leaned back against the pillows . she followed so she could kiss him , taking unbelievable pleasure in the taste , texture and feel of his mouth . he kissed her back , tangling his hands in her hair and running his fingers through the long strands . the tugging sensation at her scalp had a rippling , erotic effect in her body . her throat swelled and her back arched of its own volition , her body seeking deeper contact with his hard erection . `` i want you , ryan baldwin . '' her hand snaked between them , slowly trailing down his chest and stomach , ending at his groin . her fingertips gently teased the head of his erection . he clenched his jaw and fought not to allow the physical need pummeling him to become overpowering . no woman had ever made him come so close to losing control . he wondered if it was because she openly challenged every notion of propriety and behavior that had been ingrained in him since childhood or because she wanted him despite it all . yet he was going to have to be that by-the-rules man she 'd mentioned earlier . `` as much as i hate bringing up reality , i do n't have protection . i was n't prepared for this . '' he should have stopped at a drugstore on the way back here . she brushed his hair off his forehead . `` not a boy scout , huh ? '' `` would you settle for the fact that i 'm on the pill and i 've been tested annually ? i 'm safe . '' she was hardly that , ryan thought as he looked into her green eyes . `` it works for me if you can accept my word that i 'm safe , too . '' never in his past had he had sex without a condom . he was n't lacking for women when he needed a date for an occasion and he knew who to turn to when he desired sexual release . but no woman had ever become a priority in his life , made him shift his focus from his work . no woman had made him stop and take notice . then there was this one , who 'd caught his eye despite that she stood between him and the end of a long journey- his search for sam , the young girl who was the answer to his long-held dreams of family . zoe threaded her fingers through his . `` i accept . '' which was all he needed to hear . the time for foreplay and talk was over . he eased his hand between her legs , feeling the slick wetness and damp heat that moistened his fingertips . she moaned and clenched her thighs around his hand . she trembled and sighed , her need aching and obvious . somehow he managed to roll her onto the mattress and continue what he started , caressing her slick outer folds as she writhed beside him . he came over her and spread her thighs , his thick , hot erection poised at her dewy entrance . then , placing his hands on her thighs , he locked his gaze with hers and thrust deep inside her waiting body . she gasped and let out a load moan of satisfaction , tightening around him . he found her slick , warm and snug , everything he 'd dreamed of even when he had n't known her at all . unable to wait , he began to move , sliding in and out , a motion she met by grinding her pelvis into him , hard . her inner walls contracted , milking him with every thrust of his body into hers . they were in sync and each motion brought him closer and closer to release . zoe 's vocal moans told him she was right there with him . seconds before he reached his peak , she locked her legs around his back , bringing him so deeply into her body , he thought he saw heaven . then he exploded , his orgasm more powerful than he 'd expected and lasting longer than he thought possible . zoe came at the same time with a succession of cries that ended with her calling out his name and pulling every last bit of energy and emotion from him , as well . he collapsed on top of her , completely spent and satisfied in a soul-deep way . `` wow , '' she said , her voice muffled beneath him . he could n't manage more than one word in agreement . they lay that way for what felt like a long while until the jarring ring of the motel telephone broke into the sound of their heavy breathing . `` who could that be ? '' with a groan of complete regret , he rolled off her to the cold side of the bed and answered the phone .

aj 's taller than me , but somehow we make the hug work and her arms go around my back and i feel safe . if only for a second . her words are barely a whisper , but i know peter hears them . i pull back and she studies my face . the way she does it reminds me of peter . as if she 's looking down into the well of my soul . searching for coins or sparkling things . `` i 'm ... '' i struggle to find the right word . the thing is , there is no right word . but failing most of the time . she holds my face in her hands and kisses my cheek , like a blessing . i feel peter behind me . he 'd stayed back a bit to give us some privacy . because he was considerate like that . my chest starts to feel tight and it 's hard to breathe . `` aj , this is peter . peter , this is my aunt jenny . '' she turns me so that she can keep her arm around me . i feel her fear . for the first time since i hugged her , i smell her blood . it 's sweeter than dad 's . if i 'm categorizing the smell of blood . which i 'm totally not . i try holding my breath . `` nice to meet you , peter . '' she says his name as if she 's unsure . the hand that 's not holding onto me sticks out , waiting for a handshake . `` it is nice to meet another part of ava 's family . '' human hand , meet noctalis hand . i feel her flinch all the way through her body . a worse sign . she 's got noctalis radar . i say , trying to distract her attention . `` claire called me . '' her eyes pull away from peter 's face and focus back on me . i can almost smell her unease . i was so hoping they would get along . she does smell like honeysuckle and bricks . the honeysuckle i knew about . it 's her favorite scent . and she lives alone in an old brick house that she calls her castle . a weight presses on my chest , making air a precious thing . i try to take a deep breath , but it 's not easy . peter is concerned , sending soothing vibes my way . they 're not working . her arm holds tight , as if she 'll never let go . eyes , absent of tears , search mine again . `` we should probably go in , '' i say . dad 's at a charity golf tournament , so peter 's allowed inside . the smell of blackberry jam cake fills my nose , tamping down the smell of blood . i trail my hand in the air behind me , and peter briefly touches my fingers . letting me know he 's there and that i should stop freaking out . i really do n't understand why i 'm so stressed about aj being here . `` hey baby , look who came to see us ! '' aj laughs and mom plants a kiss on her cheek . they look like they could be sisters . with her dark brown hair and similar height , jenny and mom are two peas in a pod . jenny 's are a lovely brown . they remind me of chocolate with gold swirled through it . i have to get back to work , but i 'm going to come more often . i miss knowing what 's going on in your life . '' this is a direct jab at peter , who lurks in the doorway . he 's out of place in this situation , but i do n't want him going anywhere . `` who wants cake ? '' peter `` do n't you want some cake ? '' ava 's aunt asks . `` no thank you , i am lactose intolerant . '' it is the line ava and i agreed on when my eating habits came up . ava 's energy is frenetic and panicked , but also she is happy to see her aunt . it is hard for me to follow as she flits from one emotion to the next . her panic continues to rise , escalating with each second . that must be horrible . '' she takes a bite of cake and i am reminded of ava and her earth-shattering cheesecake . ava toys with her fork , trying to calm down . i brush my fingers on her back , giving her reassurance . `` i am used to it , '' i say . i am used to not eating . she takes another bite with relish . `` so , how did you two meet ? '' ava looks at me , and i take the lead from her . `` i went to a party with my brother that ava was also at . our eyes met across the room and i knew i had to speak to her . '' i meet her eyes and try a smile . she chokes a bit on her cake , so i must have done it right . the flash of desire also indicates i have done well . `` and then i spilled a drink on you , '' she says , blushing .

somehow i 'd expected dr. jamerson to have the answer ready right then -- had madeleine been drugged or had she not ? -- and not knowing had thrown me even further off course . as madeleine yowled on the way home , i had found myself thinking of getting a dog , a medium-sized stupid one who was everyone 's friend . a mutt with brown rough hair and a black muzzle ... but jane engle , who 'd left me madeleine and a heck of a lot of money , had somehow astral-projected her strongly disapproving face right into my consciousness . so i trudged into the library 's back door feeling dispirited . at least angel had been out running this morning as i was driving in to town . she 'd grinned and waved at me . a smiling angel -- and one with a bulging abdomen -- was something i would have to get used to . i smoothed my own oversized orange t-shirt over my stomach ; i was wearing orange leggings , too , and there was a big gold sun on the front of my tee . i was hoping the children would think it a cheerful outfit . i 'd pulled my hair back with an orange-and-gold barrette , and i was wearing my gold-framed glasses . just a blaze of color , that was me . `` who was that woman who came in to see you yesterday ? '' perry asked , as i stowed my purse in my locker . he was using the microwave to make hot chocolate , which he drank regardless of the outside temperature ; he had quite a sweet tooth , though by his leanness you would n't have guessed it . here i was , i thought wryly , glowing all over the place , and as usual , i was being asked about ... my bodyguard . `` angel youngblood . '' `` she 's not local . '' she 's from florida . '' `` very , '' i said firmly . `` and a black belt in karate , as is her husband . '' perry did n't seem dismayed by this news . `` she 's just stunning , '' he said . `` i could tell by the way she walks that she 's an athlete . and her coloring is so unusual . '' `` yep , she 's gold , '' i answered , burrowing in my locker for a tube of breath mints . i 'd had this conversation with many men ( and some women ) about angel . `` i thought you were pretty tight with jenny tankersley ? '' `` oh , we 're dating , '' perry said casually , though his mother sally had told me they were all but engaged . jenny would n't have been pleased to hear perry dismiss her so cavalierly , from what i 'd heard of her . she 'd been married for a few years to a man who ran his own crop-dusting service , and when jack tankersley had made a fatal mistake regarding plane altitude one summer , jenny had ended up selling the business and doing very well for herself . she 'd stayed on as general dogsbody for the three pilots who 'd bought it , doing every task from answering the phone to ordering supplies to making out the checks , and occasionally she flew herself , as she had with her husband . perry seemed drawn to strong women . `` your friend angel must be the woman paul was talking about last night , '' perry said , stirring his swiss miss with a plastic spoon . i was standing awkwardly , my weight on the foot closest to the door , waiting to terminate this conversation so i could get to my area , though i was dreading seeing beverly . i had a kindergarten class coming in fifteen minutes , and i 'd left a note requesting yesterday 's volunteer to cut out twentytwo spring flowers , one for each child to write his or her name on , to stick to the ends of the bookshelves . hopefully , each child would bring a parent into the library to see the flower , and the child and the parent would both check out books . i had to get out the yellow stickum , and i had to count the flowers ... `` you had supper with your mom 's ex ? '' i said with some surprise . `` paul and i have always gotten along . he 's been more like a father than an uncle to me . especially since i 've only seen dad a few times in my whole life , '' perry added with understandable bitterness . the fact that sally 's latest ex , paul allison , was the brother of sally 's first ex , perry 's father steve , made the situation a little complicated emotionally . i was glad there was n't a third allison brother , and i was willing to bet sally was too . `` jenny 's giving flying lessons now , '' perry said , determined to chat . `` i 'm taking , and so is paul , and your friend arthur smith ... '' `` that 's great , perry , and i want to hear more about it later , '' i said insincerely .

*** part three 1 edmond lorz edged with difficulty into his study . his overcoat was powdered with the first heavy snow of the new year . it was january 29 , a sunday evening , fourteen hours and eleven minutes removed from tomorrows decisive meeting with dr silberman . he squeezed past the low tables cluttered with the jigsaw puzzles and other trophies of his victory almost three months before , struggled out of his overcoat and sat down at the desk . he opened the top drawer and removed the two notebooks and a bottle shaped like a peasant-lass . unscrewing her vapid head , he granted himself , exceptionally , a small glass of plum-alcohol . sipping , he gazed at the pastoral jigsaw puzzle hanging on the wall . the golden landscape deserved more expert framing . but his candidate had given up that activity . lorz himself had glued the puzzle to a rectangle of cardboard and mounted it under glass with clips . the job had taken him the better part of a day . he set the alarm clock to ring at nine for dinner . it had already happened that hed gone past midnight without eating , his mind totally monopolized by the two notebooks devoted to the astonishing progress of his candidate . for the next two hours hed pore over the pages , intervening with black , blue or red ink . then , after the brief concession to dinner , hed return to them till bedtime . the notebooks had replaced the encyclopedia . each reading revealed subtle connections between apparently unrelated incidents and yielded new hypotheses . it was exciting , almost creative , fitting things together , shaping order and meaning out of the welter of chronologically noted happenings . the first of those notebooks had soon proved insufficient for all the things hed had to record since the cascade of gifts on october 25 . before that date , as he could see , his impoverished notes huddled in the center of the pages , surrounded by white void like the arctic terra incognita of old globes . what had there been to record outside of the chess moves , the terse indication of new obsession , refused gifts or , for want of anything more significant , the boys clothing ? then with the memorable breakthrough what lorz thought of as the day of giving the white wastes ended . the pages were now crowded with notes and illustrations of his candidates progress . if giving was the start of it all , logically he should have devoted pages of analysis to the twelve gift-wrapped packages weeks before instead of the pitiful complaint about the watches he would supposedly have to pay for . the true significance of the boys gesture had been obscured by his stupid reaction of outrage and apprehension . he recalled his initial perception of the twelve boxes as aftermath to massacre . that day was like a fine poster hopelessly overridden with indelible graffiti , beyond repair . the director flipped forward to november 11 . those eleven pages , which he started rereading for maybe the hundredth time , recounted total triumph . hed omitted certain inappropriate reactions like imagining laughter behind his back as the ceaseless gifts spilled over his arms to the floor , his absurd concern with the technicalities of disposing of the gifts , the even more absurd fear that his candidate might have added the great table to the pile of gifts in his embrace , crushing every bone in his body . also unrecorded were the rival claims . he couldnt even recall the name of their drug , could only come up with an association with a female dog and so referred to it in his mind as bitchine . he had no more than a faint memory of the feeling of exclusion hed briefly experienced in the corridor , looking down behind glass at his assistant and his candidate on the bench below . what he felt now was a certain pity for her . charitably , hed refrained from recording her guilty look as she spirited his candidates drawings into her bag . a few days later , shed transformed them into gifts to her from teddy . the last paragraph of lorzs comments for that day began with the cautious remark that his candidates face seemed to be losing its habitual expression of brutality . three question marks followed the observation . he was suspicious of subjectivity in the matter . but it was pointless to ask his assistant . shed never recognized that expression of brutality in the first place . as for the doctors , theyd surely credit the change to the switchover to bitchine . an obvious solution had came to him . his notes for that day ended with the underlined word , camera . the director was about to reach for the second log and the photographs when the phone rang . she came up with more suggestions about what he should say to dr silberman tomorrow morning . he assented mechanically at regular intervals . when she finally rang off he sat motionless for an instant and then remembered what her call had interrupted : the photographs . he opened the second log , took off his glasses and placed his face inches from the first of the fifty-eight photographs of his candidate . they were pasted side by side and carefully dated . in theory they should have furnished objective proof of the transformation of the boys face , like a speeded-up film-sequence of a bud opening to flower .

bears rarely came this far south , and wolves rarely attacked unless they were starving highly unlikely in spring . the path widened and undulated a little ahead , the tree canopy above their heads became less dense , allowing them to see more of their surroundings . up ahead the path dipped to form a dimple in the mud . a cluster of dark foliaged trees grew to one side of this mini-clearing . eric peered towards them and with a puzzled expression , stepped closer , holding his lamp higher . the trees ' leaves gleamed brittle and hard in the lamp 's light . staring closer , neb realised they were holly trees and wondered why they still had berries at this time of year . then the red beads moved and leaves rustled and a ghostly white figure gathered mass as it reared up from its resting place . 'get back ! he swung eric around in the opposite direction , spinning around himself at the same time and dragging eric with him , sucked a deep breath into his lungs and sprinted for his life . ******** chapter nineteen : savaged . they ran helter-skelter along the muddy track , with the roars of the enraged stag from behind growing ever louder . a branch slammed across neb 's forehead , he ducked too late and collided head on with a tree trunk . winded , he collapsed to the ground , rolled up into a ball and waited for the stag 's antlers to tear into his flesh . the earth trembled under the stag 's weight as it hurtled towards neb . with a sickening feeling in his stomach , neb pulled his knees higher into his chest , tucked his chin in and locked his arms over his head . his back felt terribly exposed . neb had only caught a brief glimpse of the albino stag : but could imagine its antlers ripping through his cloak and tearing open his spine to expose the marrow of his bones . he choked back a sob , screwed his eyes up tighter and hoped death would be quick . then unbelievably , above his own rapid heartbeat and a series of snuffles , he heard eric shout 'hey you ! over here ! ' a swoosh filled neb 's ears and a sudden heat sizzled his delicate arm hairs . the rogue stag snorted , and neb screamed in terror as it trampled over his back . the beast snorted again and seemed to be pawing at the earth . neb peeled his arms away from his head and glanced upwards . a sob rattled in his chest : eric appeared like an avenging angel , holding aloft a burning staff in one hand . three paces away away the stag lowered his head and glared at eric . its massive antlers were festooned with green vegetation , its white shape appeared as large as blain 's hut and its eyes glowed like embers . it was the stuff of nightmares ; only wild boars were more dangerous than rutting stags . but there was some hope , for all its size , it appeared to be a youngster , inexperienced in the ways of men . still dangerous , but without the cunning of an older beast . although its eyes gleamed with hatred , eric 's actions confused it . it pawed the ground , lowered its head to swing its antlers from side to side , then galloped towards eric . at the last moment , eric wielded his flaming torch like a sword and leapt from the stag 's path . unable to stop , the beast collided with a tree just as neb had . unlike neb , it simply retreated , shook its head with a rattle of antlers and began to turn around for another charge . neb swallowed against a dry throat , unable to take his eyes from eric 's back and the flaming staff he goaded towards the stag . he realised eric had wrapped his cloak around a branch and set it alight . already the flames flickered , they would go out soon . snatching up a fallen branch neb scrambled towards his own lantern , mercifully somehow still alight . ripping his cloak from his shoulders , neb swirled the material around one end of the branch and fumbled to secure it firmly with the cloak 's fastenings . he shuddered as the stag slammed into a nearby tree , then with a shaking hand held the lantern to his makeshift torch and blew a gentle encouragement . from the corner of his eye he saw the stag retreat , shake its head and with a terrible growl from somewhere deep in its belly , turn to charge at eric again . neb was on his knees now , after a quick glance in eric 's direction he resumed puffing at the tentative flame growing over his cloak . 'please , please , please , ' he breathed . as soon as his torch flared into life , neb forced himself to stand . eric 's face was a mask of fear and his torch now nothing but embers . sparks exploded as eric smacked it across the stag 's chest , then screamed and fell backwards .

heat crept over her face , especially since she could see proof of his desire . you should have warned me you were heading in here . '' smiling , he sidled up to her and pulled her into his arms . she could feel his hard c*ck against the center of her body , and it made her ache for him even more . `` i like catching you unawares . '' she closed her eyes as he nuzzled her neck , and chills went over her . `` you have to stop doing this , steele . '' `` josh , '' he murmured . `` josh , '' she repeated , savoring the fact that he let her use it . he cupped her rump and pressed her h*ps to his so that she could feel the large bulge of him even more . `` if i live through today , promise me that i get a taste of you again as a reward . '' syd slid her hands down until she pushed his towel to the floor . she cupped him gently in her hand before she slid her hand to the tip of his c*ck so that she could coat her fingertips in his moisture . steele hissed in response . she fingered the wet tip of him before she brought it up to her lips to taste it . `` you live through today , and tonight , i 'll get a taste of you . '' he actually whimpered at that . `` you are cruel , agent westbrook . '' `` i know , but it 's a great incentive not to get yourself killed today , is n't it ? '' she rose up on her tiptoes and gave him a sizzling kiss as she rubbed herself against his erection . pulling away from her was the hardest thing steele had ever done . but unfortunately , they did n't have any more time to waste . they had an all-too-pressing engagement with a lunatic . m street was still crowded , but at least this time a car pulled out a few feet from the front door of aps . syd deftly slid their bmw into it . she glanced over at steele with a worried brow . `` i still wish you 'd wear a wire . '' he just gave her a droll stare . `` it did n't help us yesterday . '' and she did , but still she hated to send him in alone . `` keep the engine running , just in case . '' he reached around her back and pulled her gun out . he tucked it in beside her thigh . `` no , i just want to make sure nothing happens to you . '' his concern warmed her . steele nodded before he got out of the car . he sauntered down the street as if he owned it . in the event he was being watched , he wanted wallace to know that he had no fear of the cheap-ass punk . he opened the door to the office and narrowed his eyes on the receptionist . `` hi , agnes . buzz wallace and tell him his three-thirty appointment is here . '' she looked a bit surprised to see him , which played into his thoughts about her yesterday . she must know what it was that they really did for a living . before she could press the button , wallace 's voice sounded over the intercom . `` buzz him in , agnes . '' steele looked up at the camera and gave it a mean , shit-eating grin before he headed toward the door . as expected , the bruiser was there again , waiting for him . `` do n't even look at me , a**hole . in the mood i 'm in , i 'll break your neck in half . '' bruce did n't say anything as he escorted him from the hallway up to wallace 's office . just like the day before , the prick sat at his desk with a stony look on his ugly , chubby face . i 'm a walking corpse . wallace snorted . `` you know , just because you 're here proves nothing . for all i know you just ran away from my contractor . '' steele gave him an equally deadpan expression . `` you did n't tell me i had to prove anything other than to be here today . '' wallace glared at him as he reached for his phone and picked up the receiver . steele crossed his arms over his chest as he watched him dial it . two seconds later , the cell phone in his pocket vibrated . steele pulled it out and flipped it open . `` lee perry ca n't come to the phone right now , since he 's unfortunately suffering from a fatal dose of lead poisoning . if you would like to leave a message for him , i suggest you see a priest or a psychic . '' he hung the phone up and tossed it to wallace , who actually paled . `` so do i have a job or not ? '' syd could n't stand not knowing what was going on . her nerves were completely racked .

she kept tiny occupied while he gave tate what she always wanted . climbing up the building murphy cursed his efforts . `` fucking killed men and wasting my time making shit special for my woman . bad f**king form . i should just use my dick instead . '' her window was partially open . `` if you 're trying to make women go crazy then stop ranting at yourself , '' tate said . she was stood facing the window with her arms folded . `` how the f**k did you know i was coming ? '' he asked , closing the window behind him . `` i heard the bikes and saw you heading toward the back . you 're a creature of habit , murphy . you 've told me loads of times before how f**king lame it is . '' she left the bedroom , and he went after her . he was struck by the curves of her ass , and his c**k thickened . fuck , he needed to get inside her again very soon . `` my guy is downstairs . he 's got cherry 's clothes for her . '' `` her name is kelsey . okay , k.e.l.s.e.y . that 's her name , not cherry , not tubby , but kelsey . '' `` okay , killer 's got kelsey 's clothes for her . '' seriously , you 've got a killer with my friend . '' he grabbed her arms stopping her from pushing him away . you do n't want me calling your friend by any other name . give me her number , and i promise you he wo n't hurt her . '' `` she 's not part of the club , murphy . '' murphy agreed . tate gave him the room number . he sent the text to killer and got the response that he was there . turning his cell off , he threw the device on the coffee table . he found tate in the kitchen , making a hot chocolate . the scent of cinnamon , milk , and chocolate filled the air . it was her mother 's recipe . he knew because she 'd told him about it . `` does tiny know eva 's leaving ? '' `` she wo n't leave . '' he moved up behind her , wrapping his arms around her waist . burying his head in her neck , murphy groaned . `` then you 're all going to be shocked because she 's leaving him . '' tate did n't pull away from him . `` why did you run this morning ? '' he searched for the sash of the robe and started to untie it . this , us , is staying there . '' he tugged on the sash releasing her robe . **** why was he being difficult ? they were never going to work together , and he was only going to make it worse . not to mention what her father was going to do when he realized the truth . tiny had known about her feelings , but he 'd never known how far things had gotten . his hand touched her bare stomach , and she gasped , sucking her stomach in . `` you should n't be doing this , '' she said , trying to find ways to stop him . do n't stop him . i want his touch so damn much . she was drowning with her need for him . from the sight of him coming through her bedroom window she 'd been ready for him . his long hair , wide shoulders , and impressive c**k was all it took to make her horny . she 'd never been the type of woman to be controlled by her hormones . murphy was her only exception . `` no , we should be doing this . our mistake was waiting this long to do this . '' he nibbled on the lobe of her ear . she squealed as his tongue pressed inside . `` you left to f**k your whores , murphy . she spun around facing him and gasped as he pushed the robe to the floor . he lifted her up onto the counter , spreading her thighs wide . tate wondered how he moved so fast . one moment she 'd been dressed , and now she was waiting for his cock . she watched him push his jeans to the floor and grip his c**k in one hand . within seconds he was inside her . tate moaned , feeling him stretch her inch by glorious inch as he sank to the hilt . `` that 's it , baby , squeeze my dick . let me feel all of you . '' he sucked on her nipple at the same time he gripped her ass , plunging inside . perfect tits , perfect pu**y . '' `` we need to stop , '' she said , moaning . `` no , we 're doing this all the time . you 're not turning me away or pushing me away . we 're in this together , tate . '' he slammed into her , gripping her neck and claiming her lips . she held onto his jacket as he drew her away from the counter . squealing , tate held on . he shoved her against the fridge .

it was an era when robots were still uncommon sights on earth-almost the very dawn of the age of robotics , not much more than a generation after the days when the great early roboticists like alfred lanning and peter bogert and the legendary robopsychologist susan calvin had done their historic work , developing and perfecting the principles by which the first positronic robots had come into being . the aim of those pioneers had been to create robots capable of taking up many of the dreary burdens that human beings had for so long been compelled to bear . and that was part of the problem that the roboticists faced , in those dawning days of the science of artificial life late in the twentieth century and early in the twenty-first : the unwillingness of a great many human beings to surrender those burdens to mechanical substitutes . because of that unwillingness , strict laws had been passed in virtually every country-the world was still broken up into a multitude of nations , then-against the use of robot labor on earth . by the year 2007 they had been banned entirely everywhere on the planet , except for scientific research under carefully controlled conditions . robots could be sent into space , yes , to the ever-multiplying industrial factories and exploratory stations off earth : let them cope with the miseries of frigid ganymede and torrid mercury , let them put up with the inconveniences of scrabbling around on the surface of luna , let them run the bewildering risks of the early jump experiments that would eventually give mankind the hyperspace road to the stars . but robots in free and general use on earth-occupying precious slots in the labor force that would otherwise be available for actual naturally-born flesh-and-blood human beings-no ! no robots wanted around here ! well , that had eventually begun to change , of course . and the most dramatic changes had begun to set in around the time that robot ndr-113 , who would someday be known as andrew martin , had been undergoing assembly at the main northern region factory of united states robots and mechanical men . one of the factors bringing about the gradual breakdown of the antirobot prejudices on earth at that time was simple public relations . united states robots and mechanical men was not only a scientifically adept organization , it knew a thing or two about the importance of maintaining its profitability , too . so it had found ways , quiet and subtle and effective , of chipping away at the frankenstein myth of the robot , the concept of the mechanical man as the dreaded shambling golem . robots are here for our convenience , the u.s.r.m.m . public relations people said . robots are here to help us . robots are not our enemies . robots are perfectly safe , safe beyond any possibility of doubt . and-because in fact all those things were actually true-people began to accept the presence of robots among them . they did so grudgingly , in the main . many people-most , perhaps-were still uncomfortable with the whole idea of robots ; but they recognized the need for them and they could at least tolerate having them around , so long as tight restrictions on their use continued to be applied . there was need for robots , like it or not , because the population of earth had started to dwindle about that time . after the long anguish that was the twentieth century , a time of relative tranquility and harmony and even rationality-a certain degree of that , anyway-had begun to settle over the world . it became a quieter , calmer , happier place . there were fewer people by far , not because there had been terrible wars and plagues , but because families now tended to be smaller , giving preference to quality over quantity . migration to the newly settled worlds of space was draining off some of earth 's population also-migration to the extensive network of underground settlements on the moon , to the colonies in the asteroid belt and on the moons of jupiter and saturn , and to the artificial worlds in orbit around earth and mars . so there was no longer so much excitement over the possibility of losing one 's job to a robot . the fear of job shortages on earth had given way to the problem of labor shortages . suddenly the robots that once had been looked upon with such uneasiness , fear , and even hatred became necessary to maintain the welfare of a world that had every material advantage but did n't have enough of a population left to sweep the streets , drive the taxis , cook the meals , stoke the furnaces . it was in this new era of diminishing population and increasing prosperity that ndr-113-the future andrew martin-was manufactured . no longer was the use of robots illegal on earth ; but strict regulations still applied , and they were still far from everyday sights . especially robots who were programmed for ordinary household duties , which was the primary use that gerald martin had in mind for ndr-113 . hardly anyone in those days had a robot servant around the house . it was too frightening an idea for most people-and too expensive , besides . but gerald martin was hardly just anyone . he was a member of the regional legislature , a powerful member at that , chairman of the science and technology committee : a man of great presence and authority , of tremendous force of mind and character . what gerald martin set out to achieve , gerald martin inevitably succeeded in achieving .

how could such an arrangement work when he was basically an outsider looking into a legal , established relationship ? `` i made a mistake , '' cole said in a tortured voice before she could voice her own question . i swore i 'd never walk away again but then lucas came for you and i saw how that affected you . how relieved . and then i realized that making you choose would make me the biggest a**hole in the world and i could n't force you to do something that would , in the end , make us all miserable . i hoped by me walking away that you could find happiness with lucas . but i ca n't let you go , ren . i ca n't be the better man here because i 'm only better if i 'm with you . '' her breath left her in a silent exhale , her chest caving in at the agony in his voice . would you be happy in such a situation ? you 're okay with sharing me with another man ? '' so much uncertainty . the only thing she knew for sure was that she loved both of these men , heart and soul . and if there was a way ... any way ... of her having a life with both , she 'd be a fool to walk away , would n't she ? his eyes sparked with determination and when he spoke , the conviction in his words was crystal clear . `` i love you , ren . i love you so goddamn much i ca n't sleep , i ca n't eat and i 've got a hole in my gut that 's never going away . so yeah , if i 've got even a small chance at having a life with you ? i 'd share with you satan himself . '' `` i hardly think i 'm the equivalent of satan , '' lucas said dryly . she smiled and oh god , did it feel good . she wanted to weep again but now of all times she did n't want to dissolve into another weepy mess . this was too important-the most important moment of her entire life . hesitantly she turned to lucas . `` i do n't think we should get married . '' lucas blinked . then his brow furrowed . he opened his mouth , no doubt prepared to argue but she put a gentle finger over his lips to silence him . `` think how you would feel if cole and i sat in front of you talking of marriage and inviting you into our relationship , '' she said gently . `` if this is going to work-if it has a prayer of working-the relationship has to begin on equal footing . i do n't ever want cole to think that he 's less important in my eyes . i do n't want you to ever think you 're less important . '' cole 's hand tightened around her leg and when she glanced from lucas to him , she was shocked to see a glitter of tears in his eyes . `` do you have any idea how much i love you right now ? '' `` i want you to marry me , '' lucas said stubbornly . `` i 'll find a way for you to marry us both if that 's what has to happen . but i want you tied to us , legally , emotionally , physically and mentally . '' `` now the man is speaking my language , '' cole muttered . `` and finally we find common ground . see ren ? the one thing that unites us is you . you 're the one thing we both love beyond reason . you 're the one reason we 'll put aside our stubbornness and be willing to compromise . because neither of us wants to face the prospect of losing you . i 've lost you twice . two of the most goddamn miserable moments of my life . the one thing i can promise you above all other things is that i will never willingly walk away from you again . you may not trust that yet , but in time , i 'll prove it to you . it was hard to believe they were on their knees in front of her having a perfectly civil discussion about entering into a relationship where both men would have to share the woman they loved with each other . the amount of sacrifice involved boggled her mind . she turned to lucas and stared a moment at this hard , unapologetic man . her throat knotted again at what she suspected and she was moved to find out . she needed to know if her suspicions were accurate . `` was this your idea ? did you go to him ? '' `` i may have gone to see him to inquire as to whether he 'd be open to such an arrangement . '' she launched herself into lucas 's arms , knocking him flat on his back . she kissed him and then hugged him tight . `` you 've always understood me better than anyone . '' he stroked her hair and kissed her long and leisurely , seemingly content to lay there on the floor with her perched atop him . `` i love you too , ren . she pushed herself back up and glanced shyly at cole . he stared back at her , his heart in his eyes for her and the world to see .

her eyes shone at me with emotion and she patted my knee as if consoling me for the hidden feelings that she knew were trying to escape . sidney 's voice was serious and low . `` i remember the boy that walked through my front door , so incensed about the injustice that i had been through , that many blacks have been through . the boy who felt my pain but did n't quite understand the dynamics of that history . and now you 're a man , and you 've got your own story , one that you want to tell , and i 'm hurting for you inside . but behind that hurt is pride . i 'm proud of you , my son . i 'm proud of the man you 're becoming . i was proud of the boy you were . but i 'm proud of the man you are becoming as well . just do n't let what you 've gone through break you . we love you , and we are all here for you when you 're ready to talk about it . '' sidney sat up slowly . `` and i 'll tell you all one thing , one thing that hits home in this whole conversation . my life changed the day i stopped looking at myself as a black man first and foremost . i look at myself as a man and a husband . my race , as categorized through the eyes of others , does n't make up who i am . if someone chooses to be afraid of me , or to look down upon me , or think i 'm uneducated , or inferior , well , that 's on them . that 's between them and their god . i do n't take on those stereotypes anymore . i 'm not a criminal and i 'm not inferior . i 'm black and i 'm god damn proud of it , but that does n't define my life . i wo n't let that fear of what others are thinking or feeling about me control me . it 's taken me a long time to get to this place . my identity has always been that of a black man and what that means for me and for everyone around me . now my identity is that of a loving husband and father . '' `` do n't get it wrong , though . i 've only recently gotten to that place . but i 've been angry and upset for too long now . i realized that god did n't want me to carry that burden any longer . '' `` that 's not an easy thing to do . '' my stomach twisted as i thought about skylar and the burden i carried around with me every day . `` it 's not easy , but sometimes letting go and forgiving others and yourself is the only way to move forward in life . '' sidney stared into my eyes . `` there 's always more life to live , and sometimes you just have to live it . you do n't want to wake up and be eighty years old and regretting the path you took . '' `` it 's just not that easy to move on . especially when you know the other person is still living in that place , in that pain , and there is nothing you can do to stop it . '' `` there 's never nothing you can do . '' sidney looked up and stared at me . `` you just have to think it through a little bit harder . but there 's never nothing you can do . '' i nodded at him and sighed . there was one thing i could do , but if i did it , there was a possibility i could go to jail for the rest of my life . and even worse than that was the possibility that i could put skylar in even more harm . chapter 5 `` are n't you going to kiss me ? '' she grinned up at me , with a devilish glint in her blue eyes . `` we 've been on two dates now . '' `` i did n't want to assume anything . '' i smiled at her and studied her pouty bright red lips . `` though i suppose i should have read the signs a bit better . '' `` the signs ? '' `` your hooker red lipstick . '' `` hooker red ? '' she leaned in closer to me and ran her fingers down my chest . `` not that i 'm calling you a hooker . '' she pressed her br**sts against my chest lightly . `` you 'd be paying me if i was a hooker , and i would be demanding payment upfront . '' `` payment upfront , huh ? '' `` are you trying to take me for all my money ? '' `` it depends on how much money you have . '' `` i 'm still waiting , by the way . '' `` i suppose if you want a kiss , i should n't disappoint you . '' `` i do n't suggest that at all . '' her arms encircled my waist and she pulled me towards her . i felt the bulge in my pants hardening against her stomach , and i guess she felt it as well because i saw her grin and lick her lips .

`` we were n't stranded in the ranges by accident , simon , '' lavina explained . `` it was cold blooded and deliberate . '' she detailed everything that happened and concluded , `` i walked in the sitting room just after breakfast to find cathy slumped over the couch . i thought he 'd killed her . i ran outside in hope of getting to my car where i had left my mobile phone . that 's all i remember except a bang and pain in my shoulder . i guess he had fired one of those dart pistols at me . i woke up to find steve there . '' `` have you told this to the police ? '' they did n't seem very interested . they were more concerned about asking why steve was with me and insinuated we were just having an affair together . '' `` as if we 'd expose ourselves , not to mention cathy to all that danger for a naughty weekend . '' `` i 'll speak to them , '' simon answered . `` and as for this mortgage '' he added . `` i doubt if we can save the farm , lavina but you wo n't be left destitute . '' `` i trust you simon . do what you can for me . '' `` i shall , '' the lawyer answered . `` do n't you worry about a thing . '' lavina found steve waiting for her in the foyer . `` strange events , '' she sighed and related the information learned . `` his father knew what he was like . no wonder grant kept me around . he needed me or he 'd lose the farm . that was why he never cared about the debts , either . it was my farm he was ruining , not his . '' * chapter 10 emerson heights middle school was a private school that shared the same spacious grounds as the junior and high schools of the same name . the fourth major complex on the grounds was the boarding house that boarded girls for all three schools . lavina drove up in front of the administration building and walked inside with some apprehension . the principal , diane cameron , had personally phoned her at steve 's place that morning and asked her to come in for a meeting . a girl about cathy 's age dressed in the blue school uniform glanced up from a small desk just inside the door . `` good afternoon , madam . i 'm ellie , student host for this afternoon . lavina smiled and gave her name . `` you 're cathy 's mum ? '' the girl grinned and forgot all about the ladylike manners . `` i 'm in her class . when is she coming ' back to school ? did she get our cards and flowers ? '' all the questions came tumbling out . `` i hope she 'll be back before too long . she 's not boarding , though . '' `` aw , we 'll miss her , mrs. ryland . everyone likes cathy . she 's just about the only one in the middle school who 's not scared of the seniors . '' this was a different version of school life from what cathy had told her . perhaps their decision to withdraw her had been a little hasty . but in the present circumstances , she could n't afford the fees , anyway . `` want a cup of coffee , mrs . i have an appointment with miss cameron in five minutes . '' `` that 'll be a quarter hour , '' ellie said , chuckling . `` old candy bar , '' she flushed , `` i mean miss cameron believes in keeping parents waiting . it makes her feel important , i guess . '' however , in exactly five minutes , the thin forties aged principal walked out of an office with her hand outstretched . `` come in mrs . ryland . '' lavina saw ellie 's surprise as the girl shrugged at her from behind the principal 's back . `` first , let me offer our deepest sympathy for the untimely death of your husband and also cathy 's traumatic surgery , '' the principal continued . `` that 's kind of you , '' lavina said . `` the cards and flowers from the trust board , staff and the girls in cathy 's class were appreciated . her hospital room is full . '' `` that 's what i rang you about . there was an emerson heights trust board meeting last night to discuss cathy 's time at our school . '' here it comes , the we 'd love to keep her with us but due to your present financial position routine . she was about to say they were going to enrol cathy at the local state school when diane cameron 's expression made her stop . the woman was smiling as she spoke . lavina had missed the first words but tuned in to listen . `` the carolyn andrew scholarship is one of several we award . it 's awarded to deserving pupils who have shown fortitude and bravery in their young lives . this is quite distinct from the other scholarships awarded on pure academic grounds . the emerson heights trust board has decided to offer the carolyn andrew scholarship to your daughter , mrs. ryland .

i nat be short o a few gold , an ye seems liken a favourable investment t these eyes o mine . his companions laughed heartily at this and i guess he was encouraged by their response for he bent down and grabbing me behind the legs lifted me across his shoulder and made to walk away . but before he had gone two steps and before i could think of any way to retaliate , i heard nws bass voice , looking up i saw my friend standing close by his hands grasping the hilt of the great battle axe he kept slung across his back , na then laddie ye salt spittin drunkn dolot , ye be aputtin tha wee lassie down on er feet agin ye hear before i chops yes legs off an makes ye crawl like t low life ye professes t be by yes actions agin a lady . i felt my stomach being winded as i was jostled up and down on the mans shoulder , i assumed he was laughing . he turned and looking at nw he said , whoa , cutesy i dint know ye ad yer kid broter wit yeh . at this some the gathered sailors burst into laughter , but a couple of them drew knives from their belts and brandished them towards my companions . but then i felt a jolt of a different kind and the man who held me doubled over releasing his grasp upon my legs and i was flung backward landing heavily on the ground knocking the wind out of me . i found myself staring up at nw for i lay at his feet . at the same time i heard the familiar metallic swish as serinae drew her swords and the familiar growl of teouso now in wolf form . i sat up , jondris was rubbing the knuckles of his right hand and looking down at the crumpled sailor who was rolled into a ball holding his stomach with both arms . as i tried to stand my companions formed a circle around me , each battle ready in their riposte . all was silent apart from my gasps for breath and the same from the sailor prostrate upon the dockside , but then one of the sailors said , hey , nat so fas eh ? we was only avin a bit o fun . then i suggest you find fun in helping your friend here to his feet and allow us to be on our way without having to harm any of you any further , said serinae . the sailor grumbled something and nudging one of his companions they lifted the now gasping man to his feet and dragged him along the dock . after making sure they were on their way and did not intend to retaliate further we also made our way off along the dock in the opposite direction . ye ok min ? asked nw . i replied that yes i was , my breath was regained and after massaging my arm back to life again , i thanked my companions for stepping in to help . at this they all said that thanks were not needed . serinae suggested that all of us should not go about alone , but always we should be accompanied by one other for safety and security . i wondered rather amusingly if she meant for our safety , or the safety of the inhabitants of port town . our attentions eventually returned to the dock and more importantly the ships that were tied up along it . one of the ships , much larger than the other four because it took up over half of the dock , seemed to be made of metal and had no mast to which to rig a sail to . it had a painted grey metal hull , the steel plates of which were held together by large round rivets . it looked to be in a bit of a state , paint was flaking off its hull and the bare metal beneath was rusting badly in many places . it looked to be low in the water and leaned slightly towards the dock i assumed from this that it was not in fact afloat but rested on the sea bed tilting over slightly . it looked like it had given a great sigh and finding its torment at last over , had just given up and succumbed to its fate . gang planks that had the look of permanent fixtures were welded to the hull and lead from the dock to an entry door that was swung back in the hull and permanently open by the look of the thickness of rust that hung down from the hinges . at the dock end of both the gangplanks stood a gnome guard . tnie motioned towards the old metal ship and said , wed best go there to the port office to see about passage on a ship . i prayed that we wouldnt get passage on the ship upon which the sailors that accosted us were part of the crew . as we walked i caught up with tnie and asked him about the metal ship . he said that it had once been one of many , it was one of the ships that the surviving gnome population had sailed within when they had fled to this continent after the ognods were victorious in attacking the old gnome city back on dahlambronis .

so she was n't ignoring mackenzie mat well ; she would get better at it . for her own sake , she had to . sure enough , when she walked back to the office , with her clothing damp with sweat and wisps of hair sticking to her face , adrian looked at her and sneered . `` did n't you know it 's too hot for a quick tussle ? you 'll learn to save it for a weekend in vegas . '' yates looked up and frowned . caroline caught his eye and shrugged to show that it did n't matter . the laser program was fully developed ; they were there as a trouble-shooting team , and since the day 's tests had gone well , there was little more to do than recap what they 'd seen . then they went over the next planned test , the first one using a moving target . the aircraft that would be used in the next tests were n't the two that had flown that day , and their targeting systems had already been checked as part of the regularly implemented maintenance schedule . all of that had been done before caroline 's arrival on the base . they did have to check the systems on the aircraft that had flown that day , and she , yates and adrian changed into coveralls for the job . cal remained behind , rechecking the computer data . `` all the different systems people working on the night wing project have gotten along well , '' yates said as they walked to the hangar . `` it 's been one of the smoothest operations i 've been involved in . '' `` so do n't go screwing it up by insulting any of them , '' adrian said . yates stopped and swung around to confront adrian . `` that 's enough , '' he said evenly . `` it 's only the truth . you know she has a reputation for being hard to work with . '' `` i know what i 'm hearing , and caroline is n't the one who 's being an ass . i hope i do n't have to tell you that colonel mackenzie can have anyone on this team replaced with one phone call , and he 'd do it in a heartbeat if he thought friction between any of us was hindering the work . if mat happens , your career at boling-wahl would effectively be over , and that goes for both of you . '' caroline stuffed her hands deep in the pockets of her coveralls . though yates had been directing his ire toward adrian , she knew that her position at boling-wahl was a bit tenuous , due to her past difficulties on a couple of jobs . one of those incidents had been with adrian . perhaps she had been assigned to work with him as a sort of test and her job depended on passing it . adrian turned to glare at her . `` i 'll stay out of her way , '' he finally muttered , `` if she stays out of mine . '' then he strode on ahead of them . yates sighed , and he and caroline resumed walking , but at a more leisurely pace . `` ignore him as much as you can , '' he advised . `` i did n't realize the situation between the two of you was so hostile . '' `` i 'm not hostile , '' caroline said in surprise . `` no , i do n't guess you are . is it just a case of mutual dislike , or did something happen that i need to know about ? '' `` i do n't suppose it 's any big secret . he came on to me when i first started work for boling-wahl , and i turned him down . '' a hurt ego . '' `` it would make more sense if we 'd been involved and then broken up , but it was never that personal . i guess he does n't take rejection well . '' `` that 's all it was ? you turned him down for a date ? '' yates asked skeptically . he made a pass at me . '' she stared straight ahead , but she could feel her cheeks heating again . `` he was ... well , it was a pretty strong pass , if you know what i mean , and i could n't seem to make him understand that i was n't interested . i tried being polite , but it was n't getting through and he would n't let me go . so i told him i 'd have gone to work at a zoo if i 'd wanted to be grabbed by an ape . '' `` not very tactful , but effective . '' that was n't all she 'd told adrian , but she thought she had admitted to enough . `` he took it personally . '' `` the two of you will have to get along for the duration . '' i wo n't snipe back . but if he grabs me again , '' she warned , `` i wo n't be nice . '' yates patted her arm . `` if he grabs you , knock him on the head with something . '' she fully intended to .

caerfydd was welsh and one of our slaves . the next day , i found him in the kitchen as he and his wife were grinding barley in a hand quern to make flour . he poured the flour into a crock bowl , added fat , water , salt and finally sourdough . as he rolled the dough and cut it into loaves , i asked him if he knew who had built the villa . he looked at me for a moment , perhaps surprised i was interested . well master cerdic , that was the romans , he replied as he opened the door to the bread oven . the romans ; my father talked about them last night . they ruled the land before king aelle , didnt they ? i sat down on a stool and watched as he checked the heat in the oven . oh long before , master . the romans conquered my people five maybe six hundred years ago . their soldiers and traders lived here and built many buildings , not just this one . they built cities too like eoforwic - and beyond it a great wall to keep the picts out . i had heard of the wall . lilla the poet had talked of it in a thrilling tale of other angles battling the barbarians beyond it . caerfydds mention of eoforwic had also excited me . i would like to see a city one day . perhaps , this year , father will take me with him to market in eoforwic , i said . then i asked something that had just occurred to me . tell me , caerfydd , why are you here and not in the west where the welsh live ? at this question , caerfydd blinked and his face darkened . the welshman did not answer immediately , but he frowned as he appeared to think carefully about what he was going to say . all this land was ours once , he said at last . when the romans left , your people came across the sea . in time you conquered our land and drove us west . he paused again and fixed me with an intense stare from beneath his black eyebrows . my fathers grandfather owned this villa actually , master , he said , his voice suddenly defiant : challenging even . then he looked down at the bread and continued to knead it . when the angles came , all my family were killed , but my grandmother and my father survived by hiding in the hills . a few others survived as well , including gwens grandparents , he nodded at his wife . when your grandfather came , he was strong and we were weak . we submitted to him and he was ... , his lips twitched slightly , kind and at least he did not kill us , but allowed us to live and work for him . i heard a snorting laugh coming from behind me and saw that aedann , caerfydds son , was sitting on the floor against the wall . he was a lad of about my age , but we had never been friends . after all , he was a slave and i was the masters son . he was welsh too and my friends and i were angles . aedann said something in his own language and caerfydd replied with a few harsh sounding welsh words . the dark-haired boy scowled and then he turned to stare with undisguised hostility at me and i finally realised that i was treading on dangerous ground . do you not hate us , for what we have done to you ? i asked caerfydd , quietly . i had never really thought about our conquest of this land from the perspective of the welsh who had lived here before us . to a seven-year-old , the stories of war and victory seem magical and inspiring . for a moment , i had an image of deiran axes and spears striking caerfydd and his family down and found that i did not like the thought . caerfydd stopped kneading the next batch of dough and considered my question . there are many who do , master , i will not lie . there are others who say it was the will of god as punishment for my ancestors straying from obedience to him . he shrugged and then punched the dough again . i can not change what has been . your grandfather and your father have cared for us and they are not harsh masters . i 'm too old to hold onto hatred , so i accept my life and try to teach my family to accept theirs , he added , staring at his son . aedanns eyes glittered darkly and i wondered just how well the boy actually did accept his fate . now , master , caerfydd went on , i really must get to my work or your mother may well be harsh to me , after all , he said , slamming the dough down hard onto the table . i left him to his work and went out to find edwin and cuthbert , taking with me a freshly baked piece of bread i had hidden under my tunic .

he lay completely drained of life , with his eyes open , as if they were still experiencing the final physical bliss that a strange woman had offered him that day . # part ii - metamorphosis 27 the discovery they appeared to be quite dead ironically , the bodies at lindy 's were discovered by late-arriving members from both gangs . they had run into each other on the road to the bar . they were all hurrying to make it to the bar before last call and were besting each other on the highway with motorcycle stunts . they soon caught the eye of a state trooper hidden near an overpass . he followed them down fordham rd , and down the long dirt road to the bar , knowing where they were heading . he decided to make an impressive show by turning on his lights when they turned into the parking lot . when the trooper got out of his car and walked toward the bikers , he wondered why they were so silent . a few seconds later he discovered why . there were bodies on the ground . they appeared to be quite dead . acting on instinct , the trooper pulled his gun and commanded all the bikers to lay down on the ground while he checked out the building . slowly he made his way to the front door and looked inside . as his eyes became used to the dark he saw more bodies all over the bar . the trooper felt his heart caught in his throat . his gun hand was shaking uncontrollably . jesus christ , he thought , there must be seventy people here . who in the hell killed them ? he stepped inside and walked around exploring the bar area . how had all these people died ? there was no blood anywhere that he could see . did they all die from poisoning ? suddenly he heard motorcycles , he had forgotten about the other gang members . he rushed to the door to see all the riders making dust down the road in the biggest hurry they could manage . the trooper did not bother to follow them . he made a call to headquarters . he wondered if the killers were still close by . this made him nervous to ponder . but then if all these people had been poisoned , maybe there was poison in the air . maybe he should do like the bikers and get the hell out of there . half the state police in colorado descended on lindy 's bar in the next hour , with all the detectives , technology , and armament they could muster , with orders to contain and cover up the crime scene as long as possible . thanks to the escaped bikers , the entire state knew about it before breakfast . # 28 mose hartlick no kool aid here mose hartlick , chief of homicide in colorado springs , had never seen anything like it . he was standing in the middle of the dance floor surveying the bodies . visions of jonestown kept swimming through his mind . jim jones . kool aid spiked with cyanide . some seven or eight hundred people on that one . yet it was different somehow . but it felt different . there was no kool aid here . no obvious poisons , at least none that the coroners had picked up yet . now where was that at ? no wounds except for a few bruises where some of the unfortunate folks had fallen and scraped their elbows or knees . but nobody had ever died from a bruised knee , to his knowledge . he had been chomping nervously on a lit cigar . it usually helped him to think while chomping on a cigar . only it was n't helping now . his assistant , dick bowler , was checking out the bar area , troopers were everywhere examining every square inch of the bar , the parking lots and the grounds . they were even finding bodies in the woods . dick came over and joined him . `` do n't look so worried , mose . '' mose snorted a laugh and flicked the ash off the cigar . `` hey , who 's worried ? we got god knows how many bodies here , no marks , no blood ; no horrified faces like they 've all seen mick jagger 's face in the morning . '' `` there are signs of a struggle between the gangs over by the pool tables ... '' mose shrugged . that does n't tell us a lot about why everyone in the whole damn place is dead . he walked over to the bar to three people still sitting on stools . complete surprise , like they did n't know what hit them . '' `` apparently they did n't . '' mose nodded . `` yeah , and neither do we . '' `` what about the other guys who split when the call came in ? `` i 'll take a wild guess we are n't going to find them for a while . even if we do , i do n't think they had anything to do with it . they got freaked is all , like anyone would be . they got out of here before someone could blame them for it . i 'd have done the same thing . '' `` i guess our only hope at this point is to wait for the autopsy reports . '' one of the troopers came in the front door .

hovering around where the hump of my butt started . kneading thumbs and fingers , making the towel slide lower . i gasp from the jolt of pain and exhaled deeply , lips slightly parted . the pain felt good and welcomed it . the stress i had for the last couple of weeks took its toll on my body . opening my eyes , i found blake staring , intently at me . he did n't smile or speak , but kept those magnetic eyes locked unto mine . he 's been doing that a lot today . not knowing what to do , i closed my eyes again . christ , i 'm so screwed ! heaven help me if he does try something . god knows i have a hard time resisting blake when he asks something of me . but this blake-pure full-on casanova mode blake-will be my undoing . the smell of roses and crackle of fire lulled me to sleep , unperturbed and tranquil . i dozed off to a blissful slumber . i woke up from the soft-click of a door closing . befuddled from my nap , i glanced around and realized that i was alone , lying here almost naked and asleep . the darkened lighting from the candles made it hard to see much further of the room . `` blaaaake ? '' i sat up and looked for my robe , but it seemed to have vanished ! biting my lip , i pulled my long hair forward to cover my br**sts ; it was good enough to cover my ni**les , but not enough to cover the outline of my br**sts . i tried to gather ground . `` in here ! '' called out blake . where was in here ? he barely echoed . slowly walking barefoot , in a thong , and my boobs partially covered by my long hair , i glanced around in the dimly lit room . `` blake ! '' my voice laced with urgency . i started my way to the pool area , but could n't see him . instantly , out of nowhere , he started gliding from the darkened corner on the farther left-side of the pool . my eyes rounded , in admiration . my , god ! i 'm going to have heart-attack . gaping at his muscled pecs and six-pack abs , his wet hair swept back , i felt a jolt of instantaneous lust . he was breathtaking . i 've never seen his chest before . now , i really think he was made perfect ! rooted to where i was standing , heart beating erratically and barely just-breathing , i was mesmerized by his sheer beauty-barely , forgot to take note that i was almost as naked as he was . `` care to join ? '' glancing at me , with that same very look at the massage table . he looked like he was ready to pounce . still and waiting ... that look was full of yearning ... and pure blatant lust . my stomach flipped-flopped . standing here in my virtually naked stature , i was staggered , astonished . being in this room with him , the air-the smell of heady perfumed roses-the darkened setting of candles , making the room aglow-i suddenly felt like i was here purposely to do his bidding ! enraptured and enthralled , i slowly walked to the pool-joining my god-like mortal of a man , without breaking eye-contact . i was in a dreamlike state . i went in the pool scattered with rose petals . the water gently rippled as i came deeper in the water , but stopped when the water barely hit the tips of my hair . standing on the very last step of the pool , i looked to where he stood , unmoving like a statue-but his electric midnight eyes , roved all over my body , branding me . i gasped from the burning , ardent-filled scrutiny from his roaming eyes . he moved towards me . his tanned rippling body glistened with water was in my line of view . my eyes examined his abs , slowly making my way to his hardened chest , his broad shoulders , his neck , his enticing lips until my eyes stopped to his burning silver-rimmed midnight blue eyes . the air was charging , electric and perfervid . looking up to his face , i was stunned in place . he was so tall and all-male . i gasped , as he traced his thumb over my bottom lip , his eyes darkened . `` you look like a goddess-exquisite and beautiful , '' he rasped out as the back of his finger gently stroked my neck and collarbone with utter thorough concentration . i shuddered from his delicate touch . `` you do n't know how long i 've been waiting for you , my sweet , sienna , '' i drew breath and slightly wetted my dry lips . `` i 've always wanted you-from the moment our eyes met . i wanted you , badly-but you were with someone else .

after a few verbal exchanges the waiter walked away and julian moved toward them , smiling at camille . sitting , he scooted his chair close to hers . `` well , are we all set now ? '' `` yep , '' tasha said . `` we 're all on the same page . '' she reached for her glass . `` i am invited to the wedding , right ? '' she asked julian in particular . `` of course you 're invited to the wedding . '' he draped his arm around camille 's chair . `` i 'm sure camille will want you by her side . '' `` since the wedding is n't going to be for a couple of weeks , could tasha join us in france in maybe a week or so ? '' camille 's insecurities leaked out as she spoke to julian . julian glanced at tasha . `` i can send a jet for you when you 're ready to come . '' `` a private jet ? '' tasha 's eyes lit with excitement , but she masked it with smooth composure . uneasiness knotted inside camille and escaped in her nervous laughter . `` say , julian ... ? '' tasha asked . `` you got any brothers ? '' `` i have one brother . '' `` older or younger ? '' `` younger , by two years . '' julian smiled . camille kicked tasha 's shin under the table . tasha yelled and glared at camille . she bent over , rubbing her leg . julian hid his chuckle behind a cough . the waiter julian had stopped to talk to earlier appeared with a tray of food , including a plate of hamburger and fries for julian-he 'd told camille that he loved the american delicacy-and a slice of apple pie with a side of vanilla ice cream for camille . after serving them , the waiter hesitated over tasha with a plate of cheesecake . `` mr. de laurent asked me to choose something from the dessert menu for madam . '' he sat the dish in front of her . `` i 'm sure you 'll find it to your liking . or , if madam prefers something else ... ? '' `` no , this is fine . '' tasha smiled politely and grabbed her fork , ready to feast on the cafe 's sweet treat . as the trio munched , they reserved the conversation to minimal small talk until they 'd nearly finished with their desserts . `` well , tasha , are you going back to l.a . tonight ? '' julian asked , pushing his plate aside . `` if you 'd like to say in vegas a couple of days , i can extend our villa upstairs for you . '' julian paused , catching his breath . `` i do hate to risk looking like a poor host , but we are due at the airport soon . we 'll be leaving for london this afternoon . '' `` well , vegas ai n't exactly london , '' she said in lighthearted quips . `` but okay , i 'll take it . '' the three of them stood and went back inside the hotel lobby where julian made sure the staff knew tasha would be staying on through the end of the week-four days away . they were to see to her every need and desire . camille was surprised to learn that while they were lunching , her belongings inside the suite had been packed into brand new designer luggage . a notion that made tasha swoon . the girls said their goodbyes . tasha went upstairs and camille climbed into a limo with julian , soren , and heinz , julian 's pilot . during the drive to the airport , uneasiness crept over camille and left her with a troubled feeling . leaving the country with three men she 'd known for less than a week might not be construed as prudent . she knew her qualms were crazy . julian and soren were honorable men ; even though they came from two separate classes of society , their morals and principals were the same . maybe that 's why each was able to put so much faith and trust in the other . they got as good as they gave . at the airport , julian showed camille the stateroom on the plane . `` once we 're in the air , '' he said , `` you can rest in here if you 'd like . '' he wondered about camille 's friend . she was loud and flashy . the exact opposite of camille . how had they become friends ? but no matter , if camille wanted her to come to france , he 'd bring her there . better yet , he 'd send andre to get her . that 'd serve him right . `` so , we 're going to london and then on to marseilles ? '' she asked , as if she was just trying to fill the silence . `` we will spend a day or two in london where you can do a little more shopping . ''

keeping her head turned away from the painting , she went through the living room and up the stairs , grabbed the book on her bedside table , then went into the bathroom to take a bath . she added a generous amount of lavender bubble bath to the running water , lit a candle , and stepped into the tub . she sat there a moment , thinking there was nothing more relaxing than sitting in a nice warm bubble bath . she read until the water was cool and her skin was pruney , and then , reluctantly , she got out of the tub . drying off , she blew out the candle , then slipped on her nightgown and robe . now what , she thought ? she was tired of reading . it was still too early for bed . her computer and the big-screen tv were both in the living room ... . `` oh , for heaven 's sake , kari , you ca n't stay out of the living room for the rest of the weekend ! '' she muttered , even though it seemed like a good idea . squaring her shoulders , she walked briskly down the stairs and into the living room . sitting on the sofa , she picked up the remote . keeping her gaze fixed squarely on the screen , she turned on the tv . it took all her concentration to keep from glancing up at the vilnius . was it her imagination , or could she feel the man gazing down at her , willing her to look up ? `` not real , '' she murmured . `` he 's not real . '' perspiration beaded on her brow . she looked at the fireplace , her gaze slowly moving up , up , until she was staring at the painting from hell . and he was there , looking at her through the glass , his gaze intent upon her face . his eyes ... what was there about his eyes that made her want to go to him , to take him in her arms and soothe the ache she saw in his gaze ? she leaned forward , felt her heart plummet to her toes when , with a smile , his lips formed her name . karinna . with a cry , she leaped from the sofa and ran out of the room . chapter 4 rourke swore softly as the woman fled the room . of course , he could n't blame her for being startled . after all , how often did a figure in a painting move , much less speak ? he supposed he should be grateful she had n't fainted dead away . but , dammit , how was he going to establish contact with her without scaring her half to death ? one way or another , he had to communicate with her . she owned him now . his fate , his future , the end to his relentless hunger all rested in her hands . when she was in the room , he could hear the steady beat of her heart , smell the warm red river of life flowing through her veins . three hundred years since last he had fed , and with every passing year , the ache had grown stronger , until what had at first been mere discomfort turned to pain ; the pain into never-ending agony . these days , the need clawed at him relentlessly , the pain unceasing . sometimes , when it became more than he could bear , he fed off the horse . the animal 's blood took the edge off his thirst but did nothing to satisfy either his hunger or his endless craving . he slammed his fist against the glass . relief was so near . he closed his eyes , remembering the last time he had fed , the rich salty taste , the warmth that had flooded his being as the elixir of life flowed down his throat . it had been but a momentary pleasure , though , as , unexpectedly , the sweetness of her life 's blood had turned sour and scorched his tongue . only then had he realized the seductive young woman in his arms was n't an ordinary mortal . he pounded his fist against the glass again , but yet again , to no avail . his preternatural powers had been neutralized by his imprisonment , leaving him with little strength , supernatural or otherwise . frustrated and angry , he paced the length of his prison until the worst of his anger dissipated . someday , he vowed , someday he would reclaim not only his freedom but the sword that vilnius had stolen from him . rourke clenched his hands into tight fists . the sword had belonged to his father , thomas , who had fought with prince edward in the eighth crusade in 1272 . since becoming a vampire , his father 's sword had been the only tangible thing rourke had owned that held any meaning for him , the only memento he had left of the life he had once known . thanks to the wizard 's twisted sense of humor , a picture of that sword hung over the mantel inside the castle , a constant reminder of all rourke had lost . with a sigh , he dropped to the ground , his gaze moving toward the box with the moving pictures . it was a wondrous creation called television . he marveled at the witchcraft that had conjured such a miracle . much of what he knew of the modern world he had learned from watching the people trapped inside the mysterious machine .

luckily the venue was small , sturdy , and fairly new . despite that though , barely anyone showed up . it was the most timid , lackluster , and small crowd i 'd seen yet on the tour . i would have thought new orleans and its occult and black magick leanings would have brought out the fans and music goers with morbid curiosity , kind of like a car wreck , but that was n't the case . people were scared of hybrid and stayed away . there were maybe fifty people there , tops . the band looked scared of themselves too . they played subdued and with an air of defeat . robbie went through the motions , containing himself ( the drugs probably had a hand in that ) , and even graham 's drums sounded faint . it was a sad , sad show , and as i stood on the side stage with the increasingly mysterious jacob , i could see the lines of worry on each and every band member 's foreheads . i had thought about asking jacob some more pressing questions about graham and the gtfos but judging from the swears that spilled out of his lips every five minutes and the hate-filled glare in his eyes , i decided against it . whether he had something to do with it all or not , he was the band 's manager and for once he was n't able to manage everything . there was no doubt that a lawsuit was going to follow from the stage collapse and there was certainly no way the band was going to make a profit from the new orleans show . things were slowly spiraling out of control . maybe jacob did n't care about needless deaths and mental illnesses , but he did care about money and now it was finally hitting him where it hurt . when the band was finished and slogged off the stage with heavy hearts and shoulders , i walked to the backstage area to go wait for sage . there was more than one dressing room for the guys , so sage had taken one for himself and i sat on the chair outside , waiting patiently . i only left his side for a few minutes when i had to go to the bathroom and when i came back , the door was still closed . one of the other dressing rooms opened and mickey came out . `` hey , '' i said to him , almost tempted to call him 'boyo ' as the others did . `` did you see sage come out ? '' mickey finished buttoning up his plaid shirt and shrugged . `` mickey . i know i have n't had the chance to tell you this , but i 'm really sorry about noelle . i liked her you know . '' he twitched for a second and stopped . `` do n't talk about her like she 's not coming back , '' he said . his eyes held mine for a brief second and i could see a wealth of sadness in them before he disappeared around the corner . i sighed , feeling lost and stupid , like i overstepped my bounds , and sat back in the chair for a few moments . finally i got up and rapped lightly on the door . i heard something from inside the room , like a chair being pushed back . `` i 'm coming in , '' i said . `` you better cover up what you do n't want me to see . '' was it wrong to hope he was n't covering up anything ? i nearly drooled at the thought . i wiped my mouth cautiously then opened the door . what i could see of it anyway . it was obviously never meant to be a dressing room and had an extra room that was separated by half a wall . there were stacks of chairs and old pa equipment spilling out from around the corner . that 's where i heard the noise again , followed by the sound of a chair being pushed back . i ventured again . i walked toward the noise , wondering what he could be doing back there . i wished the light from the middle of the room reached far enough , but most of the chairs and equipment were lost in shadow . i was nearly at the wall , ready to peak over the side , when i heard another noise . one that made my blood run cold . it was a wet , slopping sound , like something slimy and heavy was being dragged along the tile floor , heading in my direction . i had heard and seen the shadow of the same thing on the bus , and i was in no hurry to see it again . in my head i pictured a giant earthworm with two legs , dragging its slimy gray segmented body along , leaving trails of goo and blood , a round mouth filled with rotating teeth , open and ready for sucking . i almost vomited from fright . i gasped and whipped around , startled to see sage standing in the doorway , rubbing a towel at his curls . the noise had stopped . that was probably the only chance we were getting . i turned and ran toward him . `` i think we need to get out of here , '' i said , grabbing his forearm . my fingers barely fit around it . he did n't budge , his eyes on the back of the room .

'i came as soon as i was told , mother , ' she blustered , 'how much time is there between contractions ? ' 'about two minutes , sister . ' 'then she is almost ready , ' freena pulled back the blankets covering amberlay . three hours later a baby 's cry echoed through the halls of the old nunnery . the mother superior cleaned the child as sister freena tended to the patient . amberlay smiled as the boy was placed in her arms . she kissed his head and her tears flowed . 'congratulations , my dear , you have a healthy son . have you chosen a name ? ' asked mother thronso . 'yesbrinn . after his grandfather , ' amberlay stroked his wispy black hair . her tears dropped down onto the baby 's face making him blink and turn away . 'and what of the father , my dear . who is it we should contact ? ' amberlay looked up at the faces of the smiling nuns . magilla was cooing at the baby and freena was pouring a glass of water for her to drink . 'i ca n't thank you all enough for what you have done to help me . ' the nuns all smiled and nodded . 'please do n't be offended . i would like to speak to mother thronso alone . ' the two nuns simply straightened and inclined their heads in acceptance before leaving the two women alone . amberlay looked down at her son 's face . his eyes were dark brown , almost black , just like artatan , but his hair was like her 's , raven black . 'i 'm afraid that i have placed you all in great danger , mother . ' the old nun 's face became serious , 'how so , child ? ' 'creatures of the dark , even now , track me here to this place . they will show little restraint if they arrive and find me here . 'our walls and doors are strong and will not easily be breached . ' 'your doors will not be a hindrance to those that follow . they will smite them in a trice . i must leave your midst immediately . ' 'you are in no condition to travel ! and what of the newborn ? he will not survive the cold . ' amberlay hugged brinn close to her and kissed his head again . fresh tears dropped , 'will you take him into your care , mother ? i would n't ask if i was not at my last . whence i go he can not travel . ' 'is there no other way , child ? what of the baby 's father ? ' 'dead upon the mountain , his head , a trophy , hanging from a karesh saddle . ' the old nun sat back on her haunches for a moment , 'i would argue , but i see the truth of your words in your eyes . i am sorry for your pain . i will protect your babe as if he were my very own . ' amberlay 's body shook as she sobbed , 'thank you , mother . ' amberlay retrieved her saddlebags and gave the old nun two bags of gold coin of unknown mint . then she donned her armour . belted on her sword . strapped a quiver of arrows to her back , and held a bow in her left hand . she was transformed . a warrior 's steel shone in her eyes . 'i go now , mother , but i will not return . love him as i would have . ' the mother superior held brinn in her arms . amberlay took a strange gold medallion of a crouching panther from her bags and placed it inside the baby 's blanket . 'for when he comes of age . ' he will be safe have no fear . ' 'there 's one thing more that you must do , mother . ' 'by all means , child , speak it . ' 'they will smell my scent upon his skin and come here . you must bring him into your deepest cellar and surround him with herbs and strong smelling flowers . thorn-root would be best . they can not abide its fragrance . ' 'i will see to it . ' amberlay bent down and kissed her son one last time . then sprang up into her saddle , 'i will lead them a merry dance and extract a heavy price before i am done . ' 'go with the blessings of the gods , child . i hope we will meet again . ' 'not in this life , mother . ' she turned the horse and rode out of the courtyard and into the hills and never returned . over the following weeks farmers found grave-mounds all along the route , she had taken . some were opened . they contained the bodies of foul looking wicked creatures never before seen in the lands of jarro . but amberlay was never seen again . high up on the mountain a karesh chieftain lead what was left of his company back across the benteer pass . tied to his saddle were three heads . one was a dwarf , the others were not . the young lovers were together again . revenge lord darrik 's fortress year 540 mur-ro .

after she puts the finishing touches on what im sure is a reapplication of the days eyeliner , ronni sits down across from me , grabbing a fork and knife as though nothing happened . she dives into her spinach ravioli as i start to spill my guts over a well-prepared batch of chicken parm . bursting at the seams with excitement , i tell ronni everything . of course , i give her the rundown of the days events after prefacing that my encounter with carla was a matchmaking appointment . and i bend some of the details , such as carlas economic status . instead of telling her that carla was an impoverished single mother who wants so badly to escape her daily life , i tell her that carla was an affluent single mother who wants so badly to escape her daily life . ronni buys it , too , though i dont think shes enjoying the story as much as i am . id even go so far as to say that she seems sad , though thats nothing new . for the past few years , ronnis been exuding a sort of subtle sadness and it wafts over me whenever were together . she wont admit it but im certain it has to do with our relationship . while im content with what we have , that sentiment is not mutual . her feelings began to intensify after i was abandoned by the girl i thought i was going to marry . but i could go on and on . oh , she says , waving me off , it was the same old , same old . everyone at work complaining about city hall . bean counters actually have feelings and get mad ? she shoots me a tired look . whats the latest with that ? a lot of people were giddy yesterday , like today was going to be christmas or something . the state just finished investigating the mayor . yeah , i heard he was cleared . not what you guys were hoping for , huh ? not for the mayor , the city council chair or the police chief . it wouldve changed things for us . when she doesnt answer , instead only looking down at her food , i take a moment to regard ronni and notice how the dining room light hanging above us gives her jet black hair a sort of navy blue tint . i then look at her face , which she holds in her hand as she plays with her food . she cant be full , she hasnt eaten much . somethings on her mind . she speaks without looking at me . it wont bother me . yes , it may be sadistic but hearing ronni profess her desire for more out of our relationship never truly annoys me . i care about her feelings . but i do wish there was something i could do about them . im sorry i cant , you know , give you what you want . ronni raises her head and simply meets my gaze with a blank stare . she shakes her head before again looking down at her ravioli with a melancholic gaze . i stand up and take my phone over to her small kitchen . its jimenez . hi , elena , i say . i trade glances with ronni . i probably shouldnt have let it be known that i was speaking with another woman . do you think you can come in to the branch ? im in the middle of dinner . fine , jimenez says . when youre finished , get over here right away . something new with carla ? its someone else . we need to brief you , she says . its an emergency case subject . possible suicide . damn , im on my way . i hang up the phone and look over at ronni . a friend of minedont look at me like that . whyd you even come over ? if looks could kill , ronni would be tried for murder and given the chair . i walk over to her side of the table , her eyes locked on me the entire time . i say , kneeling down to her level . we dont even talk anymore . we did tonight , right ? whatever , just go . i take a deep breath and pat ronnis leg . look , when all of this dies down , i promise , well pick a day and just hang out . maybe even go to six flags . i notice a subtle change in ronnis expression . i can at least leave her apartment in one piece now . i kiss her on the cheek and stand up while looking into her razor-sharp gaze again . love you , too , she says . i will , i say , opening her door . keep my chicken parm in the fridge , will you ? she nods with a faint smile before i close the door . i love ronni but i wish she didnt mope around me all the time . maybe she needs a visit from her friendly neighborhood agent of influence . i leave ronnis apartment building , hop into my kia and drive toward south philly , burning rubber in the process . chapter six with rush hour long gone , i make it to franklin d. roosevelt park in less than twenty minutes . i admit , i flew down the interstate , pushing the limits of the old nine , youre fine ; ten , youre mine proviso .

all she wanted was a lover unlike all the men shed had ; what came after was the ogre , and at first , she thought him mad ! in the days that quickly followed , she fell deeply into love , and once a month they still repeat it when the full moon hangs above . we just hang our heads in sorrow for the men who have no wives , for none among them can compare to the ogres ten-and-five ! raucous laughter rumbled from them as he listened with a grin ; when their comments eased to silence , to a chuckle now-and-them , he still sat there softly strumming , waiting for the proper time ; when he felt them growing restless , he prepared his favorite rhyme : this song i purchased from a man with hair of silver-gray ; hes sold me many others , too , since that fateful day . i traded in my innocence and blind naivet ; he taught me all about the world with every song he sang . he was my mentor for a time , and this was once his harp ; he showed me how to find the words and when and where to start ; he taught me how to build a tune and play these tangled strains , but i have never been so moved as by his first refrains . the music that he chose to play was dark and glumly strung , and as he set the morose mood , this is what he sung : my aching head was weary and my thoughts were all but clear ; a wretched scent assaulted me from dungeon cells too near ; the smell was too familiar ; i knew from whence it came : a putrid thing of terror : a troll as known by name . i moved away as best i could from that noxious stench ; it smelled too much like rotten wood , decaying fish , and death . i huddled in a corners cramp and looked about my cell , and from the light of yonder lamp , there wasnt much to tell . the cell was damp and musty with rug of matted straw ; the windows bars were dusty i heard the troll guffaw ! there came a massive scraping sound from the cell next door to mine , and then a claw came creeping round to see what it could find ! it patted round a moment , but before it turned away , laughter filled the dungeons hall like sickened donkeys bray ; a chill that wasnt made from cold splintered through my spine ; an image too intense to hold went jumping through my mind ; come , my little human friend , i find i need some food ; i promise you an easy end , if you promise to be good ! i never knew a troll before and did not know they spoke , so i was unprepared , for sure , when the silence broke . just as i would answer him , a new sound came to bear : the sound of footfalls coming down the musty dungeon stair . a moment later came the source , and shudders ran me through ; it was a person of great force , without a doubt , i knew . welcome to my humble home , my friend from years gone by ; you know by now youre not alone , and now ill tell you why : a troll is quite uniquely made and very hard to kill ; its severed hand or sharpened claw regenerates until it is another troll with all its skills intact ; together with its mother-troll , the twain make their attack . but what of you , you ask of me ? where do you fit in ? the trolls my tool for treachery , and soon , revenge begins . you see , a troll has fingers , and each one can be cut , and like the wrath that lingers in the bottom of my gut , they feed on seeming nothingness , getting stronger every day ; their hungers pull is endless ; it never goes away . i watched his smile slipping down as he looked in my cell concentrating on the words for casting off the spell ; when he finished chanting , there was one thing i knew : no matter what he asked of me , i would surely do ! his smile came back once again as he unsheathed his sword ; the troll held out its hand to him as servant to his lord . one finger from the troll was cut it wriggled round and round he turned to me and held it out i made squawking sounds . here you go , my long-time friend ; your dinner has been served . not the most pleasant one , but no less than you deserve ! i tried to fight the spells control but could not break its hold ; i took the finger of the troll and swallowed it , whole . he played the final , haunting notes as if his harp had died ; then let their echo fill the room a weepy , ghostly sigh . he paused and said in whispered tones to make them strain to hear ; i asked him if his song was true and met his sternest glare ; if it is true , i ask of you , then why are you not dead ? ill tell you why i did not die , but that was all he said .

on their first christmas morning as man and wife ( they had moved into lois 's tidy little house and put his own white rhino up for sale ) , lois gave him a beagle puppy . '' `` i almost did n't get her , dear abby says you should never give pets as presents , but she looked so sweet in the petshop window ... and so sad ... if you do n't like her , or do n't 756 want to spend the rest of the winter trying to housebreak a puppy , just say so . we 'll find someone- '' `` lois , '' he said , giving his eyebrow what he hoped was that that special bill mcgovern lift , you 're babbling . '' `` you am . it 's something you do when you 're nervous , but you can stop being nervous right now . i 'm crazy 'bout dis lady . '' nor was that an exaggeration ; he fell in love with the black-and-tan beagle bitch almost at once . the next four years were happy ones for helen and nat deepneau , as well . they lived frugally in an apartment on the east side of town for awhile , getting along on helen 's librarian 's salary but not doing much more than that . the little cape cod up the street from ralph 's place had sold , but that money had gone to pay outstanding bills . then , in june of 1994 , helen received an insurance windfall ... only the wind that blew it her way was fohn leydecker . the great eastern insurance company had originally refused to pay off on ed deepneau 's life insurance policy , claiming he had taken his own life . then , after a great deal of harrumphing and muttering under their corporate breath , they had offered a substantial settlement . they were persuaded to do this by a poker-buddy of john leydecker 's named howard hayman . when he was n't playing lowball , five-card stud , and three-card draw , hayman was a laxvyer who employed lunching on insurance companies . leydecker had re-met helen at ralph and lois 's in february of 1994 , had fallen head over heels in fascination with her ( `` it was never quite love , '' he told ralph and lois later , `` which was probably just as well , considering how things turned out '' ) , and had introduced her to hayman because he thought the insurance company was trying to screw her . `` he was not suicidal , '' leydecker said , and stuck to that long after helen had handed him his hat and shown him the door . after being faced with a suit in which howard hayman threatened to make great eastern look like snidely whiplash tying little a nell to the railroad tracks , helen had received a check for seventy thousand dollars . in the late fall of 1994 she had used most of this money to build a house on harris avenue , just three doors up from her old place and right across from harriet bennigan 's . `` i was never really happy on the east side , '' she told lois one day in november of that year . they were on their way back from the park , and natalie had been sitting slumped and fast asleep in her stroller , her presence little more than a p k os 1 in n e-tip and a fog of cold breath below a large ski-hat which lois had knitted herself . `` i used to dream about harris avenue . `` i do n't think dreams are ever crazy , '' lois replied . helen and john leydecker dated for most of that summer , but neither ralph nor lois was particularly surprised when the courtship abruptly ended after labor day , or when helen began to wear a discreet pink triangle pin on her prim , high-necked librarian 's blouses . perhaps they were not surprised because they were old enough to have seen everything at least once , or perhaps on some deep level they were still glimpsing the auras which surround thinls . i creating a bright gateway opening on a secret city of hidden meanings , concealed motives , and camouflaged agendas . ralph and lois babysat natalie frequently after helen moved back to harris avenue , and they enjoyed these stints tremendously . nat was the child their marriage might have produced if it had happened thirty years sooner , and the coldest , most overcast winter day warmed and brightened when natalie came toddling in , looking like a midget version of the goodyear blimp in her pink quilted snowsuit with the mittens hanging from the cuffs , and yelled exuberantly : `` hi , i miss ! i come to bizzit you ! '' in june of 1995 , helen bought a reconditioned volvo . on the back she put a sticker which read a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle . this sentiment did not particularly surprise ralph , either , but glimpsing that sticker always made him feel unhappy .

the village centers about a travel lodge , the horrison motel , situated at the bottom of a valley formed by two hills . atop one hill is a honky-tonk bar and grill . on the opposite hill is the hitchcock dildo factory . early spring rains leave the hills dotted with bluebonnets , filling the air with a fresh , clean aroma , while flocking birds , on their way north after wintering in mexico , flood the fading twilight with their migrant chirping . back at the motel , another migrant soul was attempting to gain the attention of the desk clerk . the clerk 's interest was fixed on a local pbs broadcast where a distinguished panel of experts gave their views on the latest j-man theory . ( this being public television , there were maybe six people in the whole state watching it . ) kicking off the discussion was the learned professor from fredericksburg who held the runty rudo was several different people , like in a droopy cartoon , based upon the six separate masked appearances he 'd made early in his career . the scientist from nasa however discounted the droopy theory as an inefficient mode of travel , suggesting instead he was able to slip through inter-dimensional corridors utilizing a new application of quantum physics , while the scar-faced fellow with the potted aloe preferred izak blitzen 's `` dust devil '' concept of traveling on the wind as random floating particles . the red-haired guy with the big nose favored the martian cat hypothesis , claiming the gaunt-faced grappler bounced his personality from one cat mind to another , similar to skipping a rock over the surface of a lake , until reaching his destination . `` hel-lo-oo ? '' closing the show was a bitter , black-haired girl who said the reason he got around so well was because no one paid attention to him in the first place ; her remarks drawing hearty laughs from the rest of the panel . it was only when the station did their customary plea for funding that the desk clerk glanced down . `` sorry kid , '' he apologized ; `` did n't see you there . '' `` kin i git a room fer th ' night ? '' the gaunt-faced guest inquired graciously . the clerk nodded absently as he peered into the driveway . `` was the bus early ? i did n't hear it pull in . '' there was a slight tingling in the air and a settling of dust with tiny paw prints leading from outside . `` about th ' room ? '' here 's a nice one ; comes with electricity , air , and running . '' `` runnin ' whut ? '' we 've never been able to catch one . '' j-man signed the register , asking if there was any place to get a bite to eat as he felt a headache coming on . `` ah , yes , mr ... '' the clerk scrutinized the scratchy signature , `` d claude , '' and suggested the honky-tonk at the top of the hill . outside , a peaceful darkness settled in and the birds ceased chirping as the quarter moon came into view . the warm night air was clean with the scent of bluebonnets and all was quiet save for the occasional barking of a dog as j trudged up the hill . arriving shortly after eight that morning , the gaunt-faced grappler squandered the day inquiring as to the fate of cal desac . few took notice of him , and those who did had little to say ; although he did manage to interview cal 's mother : `` he 's been rather quiet lately , not active like he used to be . '' `` i thought he wuz dead . '' `` well , yes , that too . '' nor had the neighbors proved helpful . `` he was a quiet guy , what you 'd call poker-faced . '' `` did n't show much emotion , eh ? '' `` especially after the accident in the fireplace . '' he 'd nosed around , asked questions , and gotten nowhere . now , tired and hungry , his only desire was to grab a burger and turn in for the night . a corroded metal sign creaked over a dilapidated service station , its back lot piled high with worn tires and rusted parts . across the highway stood a tall-chimneyed smokehouse . next to that , occupying the greater part of the field , was the lizard king bar and grill . it was no different from any other texas hangout , with good food and cold drinks and willie nelson on the jukebox . `` dammit , willie , '' scolded the proprietor , `` how many times must i tell you not to sit on my jukebox ? '' j wove his way to the counter where a sign read : bread is made for laughter , wine gladdens life , and money answers everything . a waitress took his order ; her name tag said helen . did n't gordon say cal had a sister named helen ? `` excuse me , but are ya helen desac ? ''

he took a deep drag and exhaled , watching the grey smoke disappear into the night air . then he noticed that there was scaffolding all the way up the side of the pub , and rows of neatly stacked slate tiles just outside the entrance to the toilets . a new roof was in the offing , clearly . theo and his friends never missed an opportunity to climb scaffolding late at night , especially after a few beers . so he took a couple more drags from the cigarette and a couple more swigs from the beer and looked for a way up . all ladders to the first floor platform had been removed , so he jumped as high as he could and managed to grab a pipe at platform level . his battered hand complained briefly , but the excitement of the climb pushed it to the back of his mind . he pulled himself up and stood on the platform . he remained motionless for a moment , in case he had disturbed anyone . no lights came on , so he continued . he located the ladder up to the next platform and climbed until he got to the roof . once there he could see that the roof was definitely in need of repair : several of the slates were cracked or missing completely , revealing the weather-beaten woodwork underneath . there was an open skylight just in front of him , and it was near enough for theo to peer over and see what was below : some kind of storeroom . he leant over on to the roof and reached for the open window . he reckoned he should be able to squeeze himself in . but then a moment of clarity came over him . why would he want to go in ? what 's the best that could happen ? he 'd sneak down to the bar and pour himself a beer ? would that even be possible ? do n't landlords lock the pumps or something when the bar is closed to stop people like him from nicking the booze ? and the worst case scenario would be that the landlord would call 999 and theo would turn up at home in the back of a police car . so instead he walked along the platform to the rear of the building and looked out across the playing fields beyond the beer garden . the moon was still bright and he could see shadows cast by trees at the side of the rugby field . beyond the trees stood a row of houses . a light came on in one of the upstairs rooms . someone going to the loo . or maybe this was a nightshift worker starting their day . theo mused that the secret to life was to be the one going to bed at this time , not the one getting up . he looked down at his injured hand . he was used to the pain from his knuckles - the punching of inanimate objects had become something all too common-place recently . but the more focused pain from the back of his hand was giving him cause for concern . the handkerchief covering his cut was now completely sodden with blood . he carefully unwrapped it and looked at the centimetre-long gash . he clenched his fist and watched as a small spurt of blood arced towards him and landed on his beige jacket , missing his brother 's breton top by a fraction . then he started to really worry . should n't it have stopped bleeding by now ? does n't blood clot after a while ? he knew he was not a haemophiliac , so it gradually dawned on him that the wound must be serious , that he must have clipped an artery . he looked down at his feet and saw dark spots dotted around the scaffolding planks . good god , he was leaving a trail ! would future generations be able to retrace his steps by following the faded blood spots on the ground ? he turned the handkerchief over and reapplied it to his hand , keeping it in place with his clenched fingers . he was now over half way through his journey home , and he decided he would worry about the cut once he got home . he may have to wake his parents up and get them to drive him to the hospital . what excuse could he use this time ? maybe he could just say he got picked on by some older kids and had fought back . perhaps one of them pulled a switch-blade on him . that was the sort of thing that happened to teenage kids was n't it ? he started to feel the cold and pulled his collar up against the breeze . he made his way down the scaffolding and continued his journey . once out of box , he began the steady ascent of box hill . determined to keep his mind off his dripping hand , he thought of his fledgling songwriting efforts , and what he 'd be able to actually offer the guy from ambient pleasures if he were able to find him . he was pleased with some of what he had written thus far : the dead white sky music obviously , and the tune for something happened was half-decent . and enough money sounded upbeat and commercial - the sort of thing he could imagine hearing on radio 1 . and maybe his lyrics were n't really that bad .

hi , i said in a far squeakier voice than i meant to . holy hot-buttered sex on a stick , anna muttered under her breath . i shot her a look and tried not to laugh . how about a latte . i asked , trying to sound casual , because i couldnt quite place why he would be here on his day off . working from home , actually . i just nodded and tried not to let my mind wander down the path of thinking that maybe anna was right about all this after all . i , uh , actually got that vp job . i stopped steaming milk and looked up at him . congratulations , thats amazing . i mean , im not surprised , but i know you worked really hard ... anna snickered at my blubbering run-on sentence , and i shot her another look . she moved over to the food prep area and pretended to inventory bags of chips . yeah , im really excited . i just have a lot to do to wrap up my old position . wasnt getting anything done with all the interruptions at the office , so i convinced ted to let me work from home a couple days . is ted distraught ? daves boss adored him . he knew i was interviewing , so hes had a bit of time to prepare . im sure hes still distraught , i said , smiling . i handed him his latte and our fingers touched . the hairs on my arm stood up again and i felt a little dizzy . he didnt move his hand right away . so , umm ... he started as i was ringing up his drink . he glanced over my shoulder at anna , who cleared her throat and moved over to check our cream cheese supply . i nodded at dave . i actually tried to call you ... oh , right . i ... um , i had to change my number . he tried to call me ? please dont let him ask why i changed my number . please lets not talk about that . he looked pensive for a moment and then continued , his voice still low . i was wondering if youd like to have dinner friday , he said softly . my mouth widened into a huge smile . i would really , really like that . ill pick you up at 7:00 ? i gave him my new number and he paid for his latte and was gone . told you so , anna said . i had never been so happy to be wrong . * kate knocked on my door around 8 p.m. on thursday . i could tell immediately she had been crying . she gasped a little when i opened the door . your hair looks amazing ! today , i said , laughing a little . i had decided to get long bangs the kind id always admired on others but thought might make me look really young , which would result in being taken less seriously at work . yet another weird rule that , once broken , was totally disproved . i asked as she came in . i had just finished dinner and was still sipping on a glass of red wine . i poured one for her , too . spike died , she said taking the glass . i wasnt quite sure how to respond . i had been worried it was something more serious . i mean , clearly this was serious to her , but honestly , my first reaction was to laugh in relief . i tried my best at a sympathetic noise and then busied my mouth with a sip of wine . then she laughed just a little , despite her watery eyes . i know hes just a fish . a pretty old one even , by fish standards . i laughed a little too , now , vaguely remembering a story ben told about forgetting to feed the fish for nearly a week when he was in architecture school and expecting to come home from the studio and find him floating , but he was just swimming happily . he had commented that spike was immortal . in fact maybe that was the true origin of his name , as in spike from buffy the vampire slayer . why was his fish named spike , again ? now kate laughed openly . after the character in buffy the vampire slayer . thats right ; i always wanted to think it was because he was a fighting fish . ben let me think that for a long time . then , remember , the real story came out at one of our happy hours . thats right ; he and dave used to watch buffy when they were in college . they tried to say it was just because they thought sarah michelle gellar was hot , but then they knew all these intricate things about the plot . when we finished laughing , kates eyes filled with tears again . im having a tough week . and we had a little fight earlier this week . it was nothing , just something stupid about him getting held up at work and not calling when he said he would . i was just disappointed , not actually upset about him being at work . i sipped my wine and nodded again . im sure he understood . she nodded and shrugged , ive been really busy , too .

crimson dragons were embroidered across the chest , the flames from their mouths reaching up to his neck . his hose were of gold silk , disappearing into his customary knee high boots of brown leather . over his shoulders was a gleaming cloak of gold , lined with crimson , the gold dragon brooch pinning it together over his chest . at his side hung a sword , two dragons winding around the sheath , their eyes crimson rubies . the hilt of the sword was covered in precious stones , but keira had no doubt that aaron could use it with deadly force if necessary . his head was bare , and his tawny hair was pulled back in a gold ribbon , matching the gold in his hair highlighted by the bright afternoon sun . as keira looked at aaron , she suddenly felt very plain in her dark blue gown , but aarons eyes , raking over her in frank admiration , chased the fear away . keiras father reached his hands up to help his daughter off the horse , before pulling her arm through his and leading her up the path to the church stairs where aaron stood on the first step . father gently kissed her on the cheek before placing her hand in aarons and stepping away . the square in front of the church was full of the villagers who had come to watch the ceremony and enjoy the festivities . you look beautiful , my sweet , whispered aaron . he clasped her hand in his as he led her up the stairs , joining the priest at the door , while keiras family gathered on the steps below , joining the man who had been waiting with aaron . the sun was shining brightly as they stood on the well-worn porch of the small stone church , where the priest conducted the ceremony . dearly beloved , intoned the priest , repeating the words used in marriage ceremonies throughout the civilized world . it was over in a matter of minutes , aaron gazing at keira as he repeated the sacred vows , his eyes alight when he slid a band of gold onto her finger . the smile that lit his face when she said her vows was rapturous , and keira almost forgot the words as she gazed into his eyes . as soon as the vows were exchanged , the priest led the couple into the candle-lit church for the nuptial mass , before finally leading them back outside and presenting them to the waiting crowd . as they descended the stairs of the church , keira felt herself being pulled into a tight embrace by anna , who then turned her attention to aaron . well , brother , she said with a cheeky smile , are you going to embrace your new sister ? i can always spare some attention for my little sister , responded aaron , pulling her against his chest briefly , before pushing her away . but if you start making trouble , im sure i can find a dungeon to lock you into , he added . i never make trouble , retorted anna , but aaron just lifted his eyebrows with a grin , before turning away . the man who had been waiting with aaron stepped up and clasped aaron on the shoulder , as he shook aarons hand . congratulations , milord , the man said , his face reflecting his sincerity . thank you , thomas , responded aaron with a smile of affection . he turned to keira . keira , this is thomas , my trusted steward and a good friend . i rely on him in many matters , both business and personal . keira looked the man over carefully . despite being older , in his late forties or early fifties , he stood straight and tall . his hair was thinning , but his eyes were a piercing blue , intelligent and kind . keira inclined her head in acknowledgment . thomas returned the greeting before turning away to join the mingling crowd . trestle tables had been set up in the village square , and fowl and boar had been roasting since the morning over a fire that roared in a pit in the center . the wedding table had been placed on a raised dais at one end of the square , while other tables were arrayed around the outer edges , leaving the center open for dancing . aaron led keira to the main table , and they were soon joined by keiras family . wine and ale were already flowing freely amongst the revelers , and serving maids carried large trays of meats . news of the wedding had brought a traveling minstrel into the village , and he was soon entertaining the villagers with bawdy songs and heartfelt ballads . as soon as he stopped for a rest , the village musicians took over , their instruments urging people to their feet as they joined hands to dance the traditional wedding carol . grabbing keira by the hand , aaron dragged her into the circle , joining the villagers already dancing , and when anna joined them , he pulled her into the circle on his other side . the one person noticeably missing from the festivities was edmund , although his absence was met with relief by keira .

unaccustomed to her direct sense of humor , his ruddy cheeks deepened to an unhealthy shade of magenta . nothing shed said had been untrue . after all , the terms of her lease agreement had been at his choosing . and while his sloppy and overall unhygienic appearance gave off the impression of an unintelligent may , john was far from stupid . he was a shrewd businessman . he was protecting his investment . i am in a good position , arent i ? yes , yes you are , she said and attempted a smile , but it did not reach her eyes . her attempt at happiness felt so forced and phony , she feared her face would crack in half . i was just ribbing you . and dont worry about your cabin here , she said and swept her arm to one side , gesturing to the living room . ill take good care of it , okay ? there wont be any wild parties , i promise . but dont go getting any ideas about me skipping town or anything . i plan on being here for a while . dont start spending my security deposit , she finished with a wink . looking equal parts heartened and puzzled , the man smiled goofily and leaned in to speak to her . arianna immediately noticed that his breath reeked of liquor . a quick glance at her watch revealed that it was not yet eleven oclock in the morning . she backed away reflexively and couldnt help but wrinkle her nose . i trust you , arianna . you seem like a nice kid whos been through rough times , he said then handed her a single silver key and a piece of paper . my home telephone number is on there as well as my cell phone number . if you need anything , just call me . you got it , she promised . john ran a hand through his wooly hair that was more salt than pepper then rested both on his round belly . okay then , he stalled . she wanted to scream , okay , get the hell out already ! but thought twice about it . he was her landlord , after all , and she needed to be polite and respectful . she nodded and said , you , too ! instead and did her best to smile again . he hesitated a moment and parted his lips as if he were going to say something , but closed them abruptly then turned and walked out the front door . she sighed , relieved , as soon as the front door closed . she could not have imagined spending another moment pretending she was normal when she was anything but . both she and her life were broken irrevocably . fortunately , nothing in the house resembled her life . arianna glanced around the small cabin shed rented . the space was small and sparsely decorated , but immaculately clean . clean was a good thing given how dirty and complicated her life had become . two weeks earlier , she had lost everyone shed cared about . three people had lost their lives , murdered by howard kane , a man whod devoted his entire life to rooting out and killing her . while kane had not succeeded at killing her , not physically at least , he had succeeded at taking from her that which had not been his to take . hed ripped three of the only people shed ever cared for from her life . hed taken lily and luke . he had taken her mother . luke and lily had been people shed just begun to let her guard down with , but her mother had been a fixture in her life since shed been born . and while cathy rose had not been by any stretch of the imagination a model mother , she had been the only mother arianna had ever known , and loved . thoughts of her mother , her horrific death so fresh in her mind , slammed against ariannas chest like a sledgehammer . the cabin seemed suddenly cramped and the demand for fresh air overwhelming . she dropped her bags to the couch and strode to a sliding glass door off the kitchen . after fumbling with the ancient lock for several seconds , the latch released and the door slid open . she stuck her face out and breathed . the late-november air was crisp and a brisk breeze blew her hair back , but she felt impervious to the cold . her insides already felt frozen , immobilized by the paralytic effects of grief . she inhaled deeply and felt the anesthetizing properties of the sharp air numb her lungs . she wondered whether there was a way to numb all of her insides , particularly the ceaseless smarting in her core . eager to test the theory , arianna stepped outside and found that she stood on a small concrete patio . two plastic lawn chairs remained as reminders that summer had existed not long ago . an overturned plastic pot , the skeletal , brown remains of which lay sprawled across the ground where it had succumbed to death by season change , stood as a forensic reminder that winter loomed on the horizon . the thought of spending the holidays without her mother brought with it a fresh wave of pain . not that the holidays in the rose household had been even remotely idyllic . in fact , theyd been far from it .

i tell mom i do n't really want to bang pots and pans , especially since i am tired from spending the day outside in the cold , so from the couch , we watch people celebrating in times square . two thousand and six becomes 2007 . `` it 's going to be a good year for us , '' mom says , and then forces a smile . i smile back at mom , not because i think it is going to be a good year , but because my father went to bed an hour ago , nikki never came back , there 's not even the slightest inclination to suggest that 2007 is going to be a good year for either mom or me , and yet mom is still trying to find that silver lining she taught me about so long ago . she is still holding on to hope . `` it 's going to be a good year , '' i say . when mom falls asleep on the couch , i turn off the television and watch her breathe . she still looks pretty , and seeing her resting so peacefully makes me angry at my dad , even though i know he ca n't change who he is , but i wish that he would at least try to appreciate mom more and spend some quality time with her , especially since he does n't even have the eagles to be grumpy about anymore , because the season is already a success regardless of what happens in the play-offs , especially after making it this far without mcnabb . and yet i know my father is not likely to change , because i have known him for thirty-five years , and he has always been the same man . mom tucks her knees and elbows in close to her body and begins to shiver , so i push myself up , grab my crutches , and crutch my way over to the closet . i pull a blanket from the bottom of the closet , crutch my way over to mom , and cover her - but she continues to shiver . back at the closet , i see a heavier blanket on the top shelf , so i reach up and pull it down . it falls on top of my head just after i hear a little crash . i look down , and by my feet is a videocassette in a white plastic case that has two ringing bells on the cover . i crutch my way over to my mother and cover her with the heavier blanket . it is hard to pick up the cassette with my cast preventing me from squatting - i actually have to sit down on the floor to pick it up . after sliding over to the tv , i slip the cassette into the vcr . i look over my shoulder , checking to make sure that mom is sleeping soundly , and then turn down the volume before i hit play . the video is not completely rewound , and the part that pops up on-screen is the beginning of the reception dinner . our guests are seated in the banquet room of the glenmont country club , which is near a golf course in a swanky little town just outside baltimore . the camera is focused on the entrance doorway , but you can see the dance floor and the band too . using the microphone , the lead singer says , `` let 's introduce the wedding party philly style , '' at which point the horn section of the band begins playing the opening notes of `` gon na fly now ! '' the guitarist and bassist and drummer soon begin playing , and even though it does n't sound exactly like rocky 's theme song , it 's close enough to get the job done . `` parents of the groom , mr. and mrs. patrick peoples ! '' our guests clap politely as my mom and dad cross the dance floor arm in arm , and the painful expression on my father 's face suggests that this was one of the worst experiences of his life - being announced at my wedding . `` parents of the bride , mr. and mrs. george gates . '' nikki 's parents do a little skipping routine into the banquet hall , making them look sloshed , which they were , and i laugh thinking about how much fun my in-laws were when they drank . i really do miss nikki 's parents . `` bridesmaid , elizabeth richards , and groomsman , ronnie brown . '' liz and ronnie come out waving to our guests , as if they are royalty or something , which was strange , and the tactic all but mutes their applause . ronnie looks young in the video , and i think about how he was not yet a father , how emily did not even exist when this video was shot . `` maid of honor , wendy rumsford , and best man , jake peoples ! '' jake and wendy walk across the dance floor and directly toward the camera until their faces are life-size on my father 's huge flat-screen television . wendy just sort of screams like she is at an eagles game or something , but jake says , `` i love you , brother ! '' and then kisses the camera lens , leaving a lip-shaped smudge mark . i see the videographer 's hand emerge and quickly wipe the lens with a piece of cloth .

there was something about his quiet nature , and intense gazes that stayed with me the entire walk home . the way he softly spoke my name together with his , touched me at my core . like they were something concrete he could catalog and count on . chapter two the next day i returned to the hospital toting a canvas bag full of things for my session with logan . a cd player and an eclectic selection of music to see if anything roused a memory from him , along with a collection of classic literature , the books most often assigned in high school . logan 's case was not the kind of amnesia that resulted from a neurological disorder or head injury . his was a case of dissociative amnesia , essentially a mental illness involving the breakdown of memory and identity , making it all the more fascinating . i knew that dissociative amnesia was brought on by a traumatic event and occurred when a person blocked out certain information . treatment options were extremely limited . they typically focused on relieving symptoms and controlling problem behaviors brought on by the stress and trauma . now , newer studies were exploring how to help the patient begin to process and cope with the painful memories . since no one had come forward to claim logan , even after the news outlets had a field day covering his story , i knew that family therapy was out . i decided to focus on art and music therapy , hoping to avoid going the medication route for anxiety and depression that dr. andrews seemed to favor . i wanted to see how far i could get logan on my own . i did n't think it would be helpful to numb his brain with anti-depressants . dissociative amnesia is by far the most interesting to study because the memories still existed inside the mind , but were so deeply buried they might never be recalled . sometimes the memories resurfaced on their own or were be triggered by stimuli in the person 's surroundings . the guard stationed at the door to his hospital room checked my id and nodded his approval for me to enter . i opened the door only to find an empty room . i dropped the heavy bag on the floor to stop my shoulder 's aching protest and was ready to parade out to the reception desk to find out where they 'd taken him , when a door at the side of his room opened and logan stepped out in just a towel . his gaze flicked to mine and he smiled . i was too stunned even to return his smile , with my jaw hanging on the floor and all . his body was a freaking masterpiece that could easily turn any girl into a drooling sex addict . and glistening with water droplets , and with that tiny white towel slung low on his hips , i was no longer thinking of him as a test subject . i was picturing what it would be like to have logan 's rough hands on my body , to feel the heat of his skin , to breathe in his musky scent and feel the stubble of his jaw against my cheek . i realized that i 'd just been standing here visually molesting him for god knows how long and i was about to stammer out an apology , when he turned to the side and i caught sight of another tattoo . there was something familiar about the phrase scrawled along his ribcage . without thinking , i marched forward and grabbed onto his hips , turning him to get a better look . he chuckled at me , low under his breath . `` this tattoo . he looked down at the curvy text and shook his head . `` have n't had access to look it up just yet . besides i 'm not even sure what language that is . '' i unbuttoned my jeans and eased down the zipper . `` whoa , ashlyn . '' he took my wrists , stopping me , but i could see the heat building behind his gaze , which did nothing to extinguish the jittery excitement i felt . he ignited something in me . i thrust my jeans down just enough so i could show him my tattoo . aut viam inveniam aut faciam tibi written in latin over my left hipbone . the font on mine was smaller , but our tattoos were the same , complete with the curvy script written gracefully in black ink . he released my wrists , dropped to his knees , and delicately ran a fingertip along the lettering that matched his own . he dipped his fingertips just inside the waistband of my white cotton panties , moving them aside to read the phrase uninterrupted . my stomach jumped at his touch . his voice was husky and thick . i realized i 'd been holding my breath and pulled in a lungful of air before answering . `` i will either find a way or make one . '' the phrase had been etched into my mind long before it was permanently inked on my body . it reminded me to challenge myself , to never settle and to push through my shitty upbringing to become who i wanted to be . it was a saying that would speak to those who had struggled in life and wanted better , and were willing to fight for it .

thats not how it went , jawen said . and im glad thats not how it went . this is how lapo , i hope you will forgive your daughter , the baron said . hastin has already forgiven her , for the most part , and he has already moved on , i think . what we need to discuss now is where we do we go from here ? you should have let me interfere , lapo said . the courtship ritual must proceed . any interference would disturb the sanctity of the event . any proposal , once started , can not be stopped unless one of the two people involved stop it . and the engagement is in effect right after that . there is no way to break off a marriage proposal without a lot of hassle , the baron added . should any person dispute an engagement , such as a young man who foolishly made a proposal on a drunken whim , or a young woman who wishes to break off her engagement as her future husband had beaten herthen a case would have to be made by the petitioning party that the marriage contract drawn up for them would become null and void before the marriage could take place , sometimes even afterward . jawen listened carefully to what the baron had to say , knowing that her father would be looking for a loophole in the barons words . the baron continued , sometimes an agreement can be reached between the two parties involved on whether or not to proceed with the marriage , if such an engagement dispute arises . but usually this would be decided at the courthouse , if i was available to preside , or by the town council , if there was a lot of arguing involved . well , what about now ? lapo asked . there is no marriage contract arranged between them , not yet . the marriage contract is arranged by the families , or by the town if there is no one else to help them , and im not going to sign any paper that has my daughters name and bashas name on it ! the marriage contractwell . the baron paused . any engagement properly made is almost as difficult to get out of as marriage . but it can be done , especially with an engagement that has not been officially sanctioned . it is sanctioned ; it is official . everyone in town saw it . and basha , he swore , didnt he ? he swore by tau ! the greatest god of them all ! jawen gasped . he swore by tau that he would give me the cup , and we would be married . and i accepted him ! thats sacred ! taus cup , lapo said , muttering to himself as they reached his home . taus cup , is it real ? he asked the baron . its real if you believe in it , i should think , the baron said as they entered the home of the merchant . and we should not take bashas oath lightly , i should think , not with everyone else in town witnessing it . we must think things through . the merchants youngest children raced on ahead to their bedrooms , herded by their mother . jawen lingered , though , listening to the clock tick . we ought to call a town council meeting , lapo said . good idea , lapo , we can start that in the morning , the baron said . i ought to go home , though . hastin is probably waiting up for me , and i would like to have a word with him . maybe if he had been more adamant , i could call jawen my future daughter-in-law tonight . and i would have called hastin my future son-in-law tonight , lapo said . what happened , your lordship ? where did we go wrong ? please , call me augwys now , the baron said , shaking his head . i dont know , i suppose hello , jawen said , hoping to join in the conversation . there you have it , baron augwys said , nodding at the girl . i hope you arent too depressed by these circumstances , lapo , though they are deplorable , he said . no , baron augwys . i hope that they shall turn out well in the end . what about you and sisila ? tick-tock , tick-tock , jawen thought . sisila . baron augwys sighed . i had resigned myself to the possibility , long before tonight , that she would marry oaka . at least my daughter was proposed to by gedas eldest trueborn son , though that isnt much of an improvement . still , she has the inn to look forward to , he said , nodding . i cant stand this much longer , she said . the two men were practically in bed with each other , the schemers . the baron had been the man her father had been talking to on the night she had first heard the words balnor boy uttered by him . it was , in a way , appropriate that the baron would be involved in this matter . go to bed , jawen ! i will speak to you later .

a large glass shower stall took up one corner and a wooden sauna occupied the other . and was that a massage table ? did franco have a personal masseuse ? a v-neck sundress in a muted floral print of blues and greens and a matching lightweight sweater hung in an open closet beside a white toweling robe . she ran her fingers over the dress 's flirty ruffled hem . silk , whereas her dresses were cotton . designer instead of department store . other than the sexy but impractical sandals in a box on the floor of the closet , the outfit was exactly the style she would have chosen for herself if she had an unlimited budget . which , of course , she 'd never had . the dress tempted her , but she did n't want anything else from franco , nor did she want to explain to her suitemates why he kept buying her presents . her reflection in the long mirror caught her eye . her makeup was ninety percent gone and her hair clumped in wet tangles over her shoulders . she dumped her clothes on the counter , washed her face in the sink and then finger-combed her hair as best as she could . she unhooked the diamond bracelet and left it on the long marble vanity and froze . her heart stalled . her watch . she had n't removed it . panic dried her mouth . where had she misplaced it ? she backtracked , but did n't see it on the bottom of the spa or anywhere around the weight bench . it had n't been expensive , but its value could n't be measured in dollars . she remembered putting it on tonight . wherever it was , she had to find it . maybe franco could help . she returned to the bathroom and quickly yanked on her dancing outfit . the cool , sweat-dampened fabric made her grimace . after smoothing the wrinkles with her hands , she followed the direction franco had taken earlier . the stairs led to a hallway , and while she would have preferred to explore this end of the house and perhaps learn more about franco , she tracked his voice to the living room . with his back to her , he swore , dropped the phone on the cradle and shoved his hands through his damp dark hair . he turned , his gaze narrowing over her choice of clothing . he 'd changed into jeans and a black polo shirt . `` the taxi is unavailable for an hour . why are you not wearing the dress ? '' you do n't have to keep buying me gifts . i accepted this one because i did n't have anything suitable to wear tonight , but otherwise ... '' she shrugged . his lips compressed and a muscle in his jaw jumped . `` and the bracelet ? '' `` i left it downstairs on the counter . it 's beautiful , but not practical for an accountant . if i wore it to work people would wonder if i 'd been embezzling from their accounts , and i never go anywhere dressy enough to need something like that . '' surprise flicked in his eyes . `` you will continue to work when you return home ? '' as soon as she found another job . `` once i pay taxes on the money and buy a house there wo n't be enough left to live a life of idle luxury . '' `` taxes ? and what job will you list as a source for your income ? '' she twisted the thin gold strap of her evening bag . `` i have n't figured that out yet , but suddenly opening a bank account with more than a million dollars would red-flag the irs . and i 'm not stupid enough to keep that much cash lying around my apartment . '' `` why not use an offshore bank ? '' `` too cloak-and-dagger . i 'd feel like a money launderer . besides , not reporting the income would be illegal . '' did he think she was crazy not to hide the money ? she could n't tell from his neutral expression . `` franco , i lost my watch . i did n't see it downstairs . could you give me the number for the limo service , the taxi and jimmy'z ? i 'll call to see if anyone found it . it was n't expensive , but it was ... my favorite . `` i will make the calls . '' she agreed because the language barrier might be an issue , but then shifted in her sandals , reluctant for some stupid reason to see the night end . he folded his arms and leaned his h*ps against the back of the sofa . she rubbed her bare wrist and wrinkled her nose . `` i 'm not a clubbing kind of person . '' he studied her so intently her toes curled in her shoes , and then he reached behind him and lifted a small plastic shopping bag . `` this is one gift i insist you accept . my numbers are already programmed into it . '' she 'd be at his beck and call . but that 's what he 'd bought . and the phone might come in handy when she needed to reach candace or if one of the women needed to reach her .

it reacted badly and he had knocked over the tanks , thus starting the electrical fire . the test subjects dr. hulsey had been using had n't even been in the lab that night , according to the doctor . so far , it appeared as though herbert was sticking to the story and that they were believing it . jackson searched through the reports for another thirty minutes , but no new information came up . he checked on the status of the men who had attacked them earlier , but with colonel bronn gone , there was no reason for them to keep searching for chloe . it appeared as though they were all going to get out of this without too much trouble , but he was going to have to keep an eye on the situation . jackson did n't want any surprises coming up that could put chloe in danger . jackson closed the lid to his laptop . he was n't quite sure how he was going to explain blake , joel , and evan 's disappearance from the base , but since they were never officially on-base to begin with , he was n't too worried . if what the specialist had said about bronn 's authorizations being questioned , the fake orders to afghanistan would pop up soon enough . maybe even his connection with the men who attacked chloe would come to light . with a creak of the chair , jackson stood and stretched before putting the laptop in a protective case . he thought about stopping for flowers , but changed his mind , instead simply heading out to his truck and tucking the laptop under the passenger seat . a smile crossed his face as he started the engine , ready to go back up to the camp . he was going to see chloe . chapter 31 chloe sat by the window overlooking the courtyard wrapped in a big quilt she had found on one of the beds . she had let the fire go out in the cabin but the warm sunshine coming in through the windows was keeping her toasty and comfortable . she had genetics books spread out on the table in front of her , but she was having a hard time concentrating . she kept glancing out the window at every sound , hoping it was jackson coming back . she called as she attempted to untangle herself from the blanket . `` hey , chloe , '' blake said , opening the door and kicking the snow off his boots before stepping inside . she beamed up at him , finally escaping the clutches of the quilt . blake wrapped her up in a big bear hug , popping her back in the process . she still could n't believe how strong he was . or that he was a good three inches taller than when she had last seen him . he had changed quite a bit , but his green eyes were still the same . she knew that even though he was different , he was still her little brother at heart . i have n't seen you since last night , and it 's way past noon now , '' she said , as he set her down from his hug . that wolf stuff is exhausting . i 've never run so far so fast ... i 'm feeling it now , but last night was awesome . '' chloe shook her head at him , going back to her chair and wrapping up in the blanket . `` you want me to restart the fire ? '' blake asked , watching her cuddle into the blanket . she nodded and he laughed , going to the small fireplace . he picked out several small pieces of kindling from the woodpile by the door and started building a wood base . `` you always were better at the outdoorsy stuff than me , '' chloe commented as he quickly got a small fire dancing . he added more wood and kept coaxing the flames . `` you know we 're inside right ? '' he looked over at her , his eyes soft . `` chloe , i need to thank you . from what i 've been told , i 'd be a real monster if you had n't saved me . `` you know i 've never been good at leaving you alone , '' chloe said with a smile . `` just , no signing up for weird experiments again , okay ? '' blake laughed , leaning back on the balls of his feet as the fire caught on the bigger logs blake fed into the fireplace . `` arthur says i ca n't tell mom , so i 'm glad i 've got you . we always were good at secrets . '' `` can you imagine what she would say if i did ? '' chloe put on her sternest face , frowning and pulling her brows together . `` blake madison , if you pee on the houseplants again , i will make you sleep in the doghouse ! '' blake laughed , balancing himself with his hand on the stones of the fireplace . `` you do a spooky imitation of mom . i remember her saying that ! '' `` you were in so much trouble . i could n't believe you had actually done it , '' chloe snickered . the room already felt warmer with the fire going .

i tried to focus , suppressing all thoughts other than those i needed to see it , to get just one glimpse of that magical light . i focused and focused and slowly it came into my field of vision . then it centred . as it centred i could feel raw energy coursing through me as if i had suddenly become connected to some higher power . it was like seeing for the first time . overwhelmed by this light , drinking it in , i became intoxicated by it . all around me raindrops of cool light fell . as the raindrops fell they projected images like rainbows which arched around them . the prisms fell . as they hit the floor and dispersed into a thousand others i wanted to drink them in , to hold them , to run my fingers through them . standing now i saw what needed to be done . ascension was a disease , it was plagued . blue dawn had known it , she tried to stop it , but now she revelled in it . i had to let go of the connection , it was too much . desperately i clawed it away from my eyes , and the world became washed of colour as i fell tumbling back into reality . sean ... blue dawn ... shes gone mad . something about that artefact , 77-x , it has done something to her . whatever shes up to , it cant be good i breathed as air flooded back into my lungs . then we should try and get back to the ship . if blue dawn is mad , then i dont think she has any information that we need . sean returned levelly . no , she does know something . when i connected to this power , whatever it is , i saw the artefact and i saw her . they were together but apart . she knows something crucial . blue dawn is our only option . if we leave now we can never free the colonies from their damnation . i was certain of it now , it just had to be done . very well george we shall have to find out what it is she knew . but i dont think that she will offer us anything . if she has gone mad then we can not trust anything that she might say . the research sections , what about them ? we could figure out from there what has been going on . sean nodded in agreement . it wasnt much of a plan but it was all that we had . first though well need a weapon , something that can actually take out these monsters . i searched my eyes around the room for something . sean interrupted me : there is an armoury nearby , apparently theres no paradise without guns , sean answered with humour . i motioned for sean to lead the way . he turned and fluttered in the air whilst resuming his musical humming and flew away . hurriedly i followed him into the unknown . * as we left the strange room the temperature began to rise to a more pleasant level than it had been just a few feet away . we were moving through a strange network of glass corridors suspended within a huge cube . sean had informed me that this was the biomedical hospital and that it had been designed to simultaneously treat the entire population of ascension should anything happen to them . to me this seemed an odd way of thinking , it was unnecessary , as though anticipating a disaster . when we reached the end of the corridor we were confronted with a door . it was made out of a substance that i did not recognise . it seemed to project light without reflecting it . a blue screen blossomed into existence in front of me . the text read please provide security clearance to bypass quarantine procedures . beneath the white text was a rotating symbol that looked like a series of curved lines arranged around a central point . each line pointed outwards . i turned to sean and asked i dont suppose we have the clearance ? shaking his little body sean stared right into me , and i understood . my adaptations right ? that seems to be everyones solution . george there is much that you dont know . the inhabitants of this station , well , they all had the same modified genes as you . so there were inhabitants ? i asserted with conviction . yes george , i am sorry for deceiving you . unfortunately the eternis systems programmed me not to tell you unless it became necessary . ascension was built to be a paradise . but it was thought that you could not have paradise , without first becoming a god . sean spun away from me and moved along the doorway to the console . i do not know what the artefacts are , or what they do . what i do know is that the inhabitants first gained from their modifications some small amount of extra power , longer life , faster healing . the artefacts came second . ascension is programmed to respond to the genetic code you possess but ultimately blue dawn has the final decision . so how do i open the door ? i inquired shakily . most of your genes are dormant , therefore ascension will not be able to recognise them . you must , in essence , activate them . we should try one of the machines in the hospital . you will see above it a double helix surrounded by a yellow ring .

all i had to do was reach the f**king point to begin with . `` lissa , what happened ? '' amara was inside the tent waiting for me . griffin was there , too , but he was standing back to allow amara the healer to take over . `` about twenty archers , two hundred yards north of here , that 's what happened , '' i grumped . `` they were downwind ; otherwise i would have smelled them long ago . the wind was carrying the sound away , too , until i heard the bowstrings being pulled back . that 's how rene died , you know . he was shot through the heart with a wooden arrow , when the dark elemaiya came through the gate in kansas city . '' i was babbling and had n't realized it . `` where 's karzac ? '' i figured if any healer was going to show up , it would probably be him . `` karzac 's busy , '' griffin said . i blinked at my father . `` gracie 's pregnant ; karzac is going to get his child , after all these years , '' amara said softly while she sheared off the arrow point using power . well , if anybody wanted to deal me a blow to the system , along with the arrow through my arm-that would be the way to do it . karzac had gotten grace pregnant . i could n't get pregnant . `` amara , that should have waited for another time , '' griffin said . amara was pulling the arrow out of my arm and she was left staring at the bloody shaft in her hand as i misted away . chapter 5 i had n't tried to bend time before , but i did it then . my arm was still bleeding sluggishly while i stood outside howard graham 's cell at the oklahoma state penitentiary in mcalester . it was late afternoon there and sunlight shone through the tiny window in his cell . he looked a lot older than when i 'd last seen him inside the county courthouse . now he 'd been sober for a while and he had six months left before a stroke would kill him . the sunlight was glaring , keeping him from seeing me clearly . he 'd been sitting on his bunk so he stood and moved to the other side of the cell to get a clearer view . `` you should know who it is , '' i snapped . he walked forward , then , so he could peer at me through the bars of his cell . he did n't say anything for a long time ; he just stared . `` you look like your mother , '' he said . my mother was beautiful . they had to keep the casket closed because her face was nothing but a bloody pulp . '' i was n't going to mince words . howard graham and i had n't spoken since he 'd nearly killed me when i was nineteen . `` you were n't mine . '' well , some things would never change . `` i know i was n't yours , '' i said right back to him . `` i did n't find out until recently , but it 's true . if you had a child , you shithead , he would probably be sharing a cell with you , right now . your less than honorable attorney paid under the table for a dna test and bribed somebody to draw the blood during one of my doctor visits , '' i said . `` i got the information from his legal files . '' `` he told me , '' howard graham agreed , nodding his head . at least he did n't stink of gin , now . that 's one of the things i remembered about him-the smell of gin on his breath when he 'd yell . he 'd had to dry out when he went to jail . `` i have a couple of friends here and we talk when we 're allowed out of our cells to exercise , '' howard graham went on . `` one of them has a son , who 's eleven . all he talks about is that boy . i asked him once what he 'd do if he found out the boy was n't his . he just looked at me like i was crazy . and then he told me this ; 'howard , ' he said . 'i was beat up when i was a kid . went to bed hungry , too , lots of nights . i do n't want any kid dealing with what i lived with , growing up . i do n't care if that boy belongs to the mailman or the neighbor next door . he 's not gon na suffer , if i can help it . ' '' `` so , he 's a decent man , as far as kids go , then , '' i muttered . `` dale 's in for involuntary manslaughter . ran a stop sign while he was drunk . he 'll be out in six months . '' `` so , i 'm supposed to believe that because some friend of yours you met in jail turned on the light , you 're a changed man , now ? ''

he found mitch out back weeding his turnip plants . when billy told him the news , mitch just grunted and went back to his weeding . billy went wide-eyed in wonder , then ran all over town telling everyone that the bank was being robbed and they were losing all their money , and mitch was n't doing anything about it ! the ladies aid were incensed . they firmly believed that if any lawbreaking was going on the sheriff should run right over and try to stop it even if that meant he would just get himself killed . they stormed over to mitch 's office to tell him off , but when they saw him come around the corner carrying the stink flower he had used to turn the saloon back into a school , they decided to come back and tell him another day . the hole in the hat gang took their time clearing out the vault and then took even longer to eat up all the milk and cookies the bank president had left . when they finally rode out of town with all the money bags hanging from their horses , they boldly rode right past the sheriff 's office . their leader , the harvard man ( no one knew his real name ) , smirked at mitch and called out , `` hey , sheriff ! are n't you going to try to stop us ? '' for a minute , mitch did n't even look up from where he was watering his broccoli plants . when he finally did he just tipped his hat and said , `` i 'll be seeing you , '' and then went back to watering his plants . the gang all thought that was pretty funny and with shouts and jeers and laughter , they rode out of town . for mitch to face the gang and do nothing was too much for the ladies aid , stinkflower or no stinkflower . three of their most vocal members swarmed over to mitch 's office . `` well , sheriff ! '' said minerva thudbug in a haughty voice , `` why did n't you stop them from robbing the bank ? it 's part of your duties , you know . '' `` or are you in league with them ? '' asked stella starfungus angrily . `` why did you say you 'd be seeing them ? are you going to go out and split the money with them ? '' mitch just looked at the ladies calmly while sitting in his watermelon patch , but did n't say a word . demanded eva fussclotch menacingly . `` are you just going to sit with your watermelons all day , or are you going to do something ? '' `` actually , '' replied mitch in a mild voice , `` i am . i 'm just waiting for the next bee to fly by . '' this answer was so bizarre and unexpected that for thirty full seconds not one of the ladies knew what to say ( which was very unusual for them ) . finally , stella starfungus thought of a reply that was so horrible it would make even a strong man wilt . but right as she was about to say it , a bee suddenly landed on her shoulder . now there was only one kind of bee these ladies liked , and that was a quilting bee . so when the ladies saw a real bee land on stella , they all decided that maybe they 'd yell at mitch some other time , and then they went off screaming down the street ( with the bee in hot pursuit ) . mitch calmly went back to weeding in his watermelon patch as if nothing had happened . but it was n't long until he saw another bee buzzing by on its way out of town . then there was another , and another , and yet another . very calmly mitch put down his spade , saddled his horse , and with some curious onlookers following behind him , he rode out of town on the trail of an ever growing group of buzzing bees . mitch and his curious followers kept tracking those bees across the nevada desert for half an hour until they finally came to the foot of a small mountain . it looked like the bees were going on up the mountain , so mitch and the others tried to look for a way up . they finally found a rough trail , which was mostly overgrown with weeds . after following this trail over several rocky ridges and through a thick patch of thorny bushes , they came suddenly into a small clearing with a cabin at one end . a swarm of angry bees was buzzing in and out of the cabins open door and windows , and they could hear screams and shouts from inside . suddenly a member of the hole in the hat gang appeared at the door of the cabin . he was holding a wad of money and was being chased by a swarm of angry bees . with a scream , he raced across the clearing toward mitch and the others , with the bees in hot pursuit . instantly , mitch 's gun was in his hand . `` drop the money ! '' the gang member gaped at mitch as if he had just been asked to cut his hand off .

pete waits until they are all sitting , then he asks the only question he has , did you find my car ? detective kelly shuffles some papers on his desk , uhh ... no . but what we did find is some interesting information on the two women who took your car . pete is dejected , but intrigued , shit ! what kind of information did you find ? it appears that these women are wanted in arizona for a whole mess of crimes . the detective shows pete two sheets of paper . each sheet has one the car thiefs picture up top . pete looks at them with the other three peaking over his shoulders . are these the women ? detective kelly asks . yes sir , thats them all right . anna keddy and laquisha sutton are both wanted for a string of armed robberies , and the murder of a man down in phoenix . you were dealing with a couple of desperate fugitives . pete looks at the detective wide eyed , then looks at each of his wide eyed , and speechless companions . is all he can think of saying . detective kelly retrieves the two papers , weve already alerted the authorities in phoenix that the girls are on the loose up here . every cop in montana is now on the lookout for your car . he pauses and looks at each of his attentive listeners , its doubtful they will be wanting to keep your car though , as it doesnt exactly blend in . so i expect well find it abandoned very soon . i think well take a bus to seattle today and ill come back when you find it . pete sees that issy is still in agreement with this plan . that will be fine ; we will phone you if we find it . what number can we reach you at ? issy gives him uncle micks phone number . okay i think thats all we need you for , you filled out a full report last night . the detective stands up and walks around his desk . i hope you get your car back , and good luck in seattle . pete shakes his hand and the four of them vacate the office . outside they are all excited about this new information about the fugitive lesbians . except monica . she says to him on the sidewalk . jeff hears the serious tone and looks in her big brown eyes . yes baby ? i decided this morning that if pete and issy are getting on a bus then i am too . jeff is dumbstruck . i just cant handle your drug addiction . i thought you were over it , but you obviously arent . i miss my mom , i miss my cat , and i want to go home . jeffs world is quickly falling apart , what are you talking about ? weve come all this way . monica is adamant , and we had lots of fun , but were talking about the rest of our lives and i just cant commit to someone i cant trust . i love you jeff and maybe well get married someday . but right now i have to worry about myself . if you really love me and want to spend the rest of your life with me , then you have to stay away from drugs . and i think that means you should quit alcohol too . because as long as youre getting drunk it is obviously only a matter of time before you smoke your drugs . and i cant live with that uncertainty . jeffs whole world was officially coming to an end . he has never been more confused or scared in his life . he stares blankly at monica . monica is defiant . he looks at pete . pete is confused . he looks at issy . issy is concerned . he looks back at monica . could we talk in private about this at least ? sure jeff but my mind is made up . pete and issy say nothing as jeff and monica walk up the sidewalk by themselves . after theyve gone about thirty feet jeff turns to monica . please baby . weve come all this way , we cant split up now . he tries to grab her but she shrugs him off . you knew very well how i felt about the drugs , so whining and acting like a baby isnt going to change anything . like i just said , i do love you , and i may even want to marry you someday . but i have to be sure that youre going to stay away from the drugs . i want a family of my own someday and im sure not having kids with a druggie . im going to quit drinking , for now anyway . if you want me as much as you say you do then youre going to have to quit drinking too . thats the only chance you have to stay away from your drugs . jeff is getting more scared . she really means it ! he tries to put his arms around her but she backs off , no jeff . no more hugs . jeffs mind is in turmoil . his subconscious suddenly chooses another strategy . fine if you dont want me , to hell with it . you think youre so special . well youre not perfect either you know . no im not jeff , youre right .

`` because sometimes little boys get lost in the fog , '' he says , looking out into the white yard . he can see the patio table , but it is only a ghost ; he would n't know what he was looking at if he had n't seen it a thousand times . he kisses his son again . `` sometimes little boys get lost , '' he repeats . oh , we could check in with any number of friends , both old and new . jack and fred marshall have returned from arden ( neither suggested stopping at gertie 's kitchen in centralia when they passed it ) , and both are now in their otherwise deserted houses . for the balance of the ride back to french landing , fred never once let go of his son 's baseball cap , and he has a hand on it even now , as he eats a microwaved tv dinner in his too empty living room and watches action news five . tonight 's news is mostly about irma freneau , of course . fred picks up the remote when they switch from shaky-cam footage of ed 's eats to a taped report from the holiday trailer park . the cameraman has focused on one shabby trailer in particular . a few flowers , brave but doomed , straggle in the dust by the stoop , which consists of three boards laid across two cement blocks . `` here , on the outskirts of french landing , irma freneau 's grieving mother is in seclusion , '' says the on-scene correspondent . `` one can only imagine this single mother 's feelings tonight . '' the reporter is prettier than wendell green but exudes much the same aura of glittering , unhealthy excitement . fred hits the off button on the remote and growls , `` why ca n't you leave the poor woman alone ? '' he looks down at his chipped beef on toast , but he has lost his appetite . slowly , he raises tyler 's hat and puts it on his own head . it does n't fit , and fred for a moment thinks of letting out the plastic band at the back . the idea shocks him . suppose that was all it took to kill his son ? that one simple , deadly modification ? the idea strikes him as both ridiculous and utterly inarguable . he supposes that if this keeps up , he 'll soon be as mad as his wife ... or sawyer . trusting sawyer is as crazy as thinking he might kill his son by changing the size of the boy 's hat ... and yet he believes in both things . he picks up his fork and begins to eat again , ty 's brewers cap sitting on his head like spanky 's beanie in an old our gang one-reeler . beezer st. pierre is sitting on his sofa in his underwear , a book open on his lap ( it is , in fact , a book of william blake 's poems ) but unread . bear girl 's asleep in the other room , and he 's fighting the urge to bop on down to the sand bar and score some crank , his old vice , untouched for going on five years now . since amy died , he fights this urge every single day , and lately he wins only by reminding himself that he wo n't be able to find the fisherman and punish him as he deserves to be punished if he 's fucked up on devil dust . henry leyden is in his studio with a huge pair of akai headphones on his head , listening to warren vach , john bunch , and phil flanigan dreamboat their way through `` i remember april . '' he can smell the fog even through the walls , and to him it smells like the air at ed 's eats . like bad death , in other words . he 's wondering how jack made out in good old ward d at french county lutheran . and he 's thinking about his wife , who lately ( especially since the record hop at maxton 's , although he does n't consciously realize this ) seems closer than ever . and unquiet . yes indeed , all sorts of friends are available for our inspection , but at least one seems to have dropped out of sight . charles burnside is n't in the common room at maxton 's ( where an old episode of family ties is currently running on the ancient color tv bolted to the wall ) , nor in the dining hall , where snacks are available in the early evening , nor in his own room , where the sheets are currently clean ( but where the air still smells vaguely of old shit ) . what about the bathroom ? thorvald thorvaldson has stopped in to have a pee and a handwash , but otherwise the place is empty . one oddity : there 's a fuzzy slipper lying on its side in one of the stalls . with its bright black and yellow stripes , it looks like the corpse of a huge dead bumblebee . and yes , it 's the stall second from the left . burny 's favorite . should we look for him ?

pushing open the door it was as though id crashed a loud party that was at its height . i was met by a crowd of twenty or so people , mostly male , who were standing in excited conversation on the tiled floor of the lobby . there was a smell of damp and testosterone rising like a primitive cologne from the crowd , as if to entice frailer sexual companions to abandon themselves to some ancient orgiastic rite . they wore parkas and rain gear with hoods and toggles and zips , and one or two carried clipboards holding lists and maps . i spotted three people wielding long torches . it seemed that a night exercisesome kind of group search activitywas in the process of finishing . the noise of self-congratulation boomed and echoed around the panelled lobby as they re-told their tales of bravery out in the cumbrian wilds . i fought my way through to the reception desk , where a young woman with a frazzled smile and a dark-blue uniform seemed happy to see me . as i spoke , she tilted her head to one side to demonstrate her keen attention . i told her my name and said that id rung earlier . this close to christmas the management training season was winding down and theyd found me a room despite the large party that jostled and laughed around me . on the walls by the reception desk there were plates awarded by various tourist bodies , illustrating with rosettes and stars the high quality of the hospitality that awaited me . the receptionist asked me to fill out a card and asked whether id like a newspaper or an early morning call . i told her neither . breakfasts between seven-thirty and nine oclock , she said , and we like the rooms to be emptied by ten . now can i swipe your credit card , please ? i mused on the decline of customer service as i handed over my card . she accepted it with another tilt of her head , and a smile . as she put it through the machine and waited for it to register , she said , oh , mr dyke ? i have a note for you . she leafed through a box and came up with a small yellow envelope , which i took from her and opened immediately . it was from hampshire : i trust youve signed in . ask the receptionist to point you towards mill gill . im out here till gone midnight , so we can meet and have a proper talk . ill be the one in the red jacket carrying a torch . youll find me . i turned to the receptionist , who was handing me back my credit card . when were you given this ? the girl on the previous shift found it on the counter . would you like to speak to her ? i said no , then picked up my bag and made my way through the crowd to the door that led to the stairs . once in my room , i kitted myself out . the prospect of eddie hampshire waiting for me in the dark , in landscape i didnt know , wasnt promising . i checked the sap that id put in my sock and re-seated it , put some coins in each of my pockets to act as knuckle-dusters if necessary , and tied my shoelaces with double bows so they wouldnt trip me up . i did a couple of stretching exercises to warm my muscles , zipped my north face fleece up to my neck , then left the room . i hadnt even unpacked my bag . downstairs , the crowd was thinner because the majority of them had moved into the bar and lounge , which was a kind of glass gazebo with a view over an elaborately paved patio , currently lit up like a stage set . they were flopped on cane chairs as though the bones had been extracted from their bodies . they had barely enough strength to hold their pint glasses . i approached the receptionist and asked her for the quickest way up mill gill . she performed her habitual head-tilt and reached for a collection of printed tourist leaflets that were filed in a wire contraption screwed to the side of the reception counter . she placed it before me with a flourish and then pointed to key areas on the line-drawn map on its reverse . you come out of here , through the main door , then turn right and walk past the car park and through this field . theres a gate just here , then you follow the path upwards , but be careful because its not safe . are you sure you want to go out this late , sir ? theres not much light out there at this time of night . an odd expression had come over her face , a mixture of excitement and curiosity . through the windows to her left we could both see it was pitch black , and now the heat generated by the adventurers whod occupied the lobby had dissipated , a chill was beginning to settle in the space that the dying log-fire in the corner couldnt do anything to alleviate . ill be back in an hour . will i be able to get something to eat ? last orders for the restaurant are nine forty-five , so you should just make it .

one side of his lips hitched up slightly and he repeated , `` sleep good ? '' i decided to dispense with the back and forth and snapped , `` yes , '' then did my own repeating . `` watchin ' the game , '' he replied . `` do n't you have a tv in your living room ? '' `` i do , but got home , started up here to check on you , heard somethin ' that freaked me out . thought you were takin ' a chainsaw to my bed . got in here , saw it was you out and snorin ' . '' i opened them when ben kept speaking . `` looked at the tv , heard the tv , knew it was f**ked up . babe , you messed with my contrast ? '' i fought my smirk by glaring at him . he ignored my glare and continued , `` a man 's tv has got ta be the way he wants it to be . so i decided to sort that shit without delay . took a while so i figured i should be comfortable doing it , and bein ' comfortable meant movin ' you so you 'd stop makin ' that god-awful noise . '' i said not a word , but what i thought was that my tv ploy was an epic fail . benny did say a word , more than one . `` jesus , frankie , you even f**ked with the receiver . '' `` no one has surround sound in their bedroom , ben , '' i informed him . `` i do , '' he informed me . he leaned slightly into me and i tensed because benny close was bad . benny very close was very bad . `` tell me this , cara , '' he started . `` why does a woman ask 'why ' about shit a man does ? i 'm not askin ' just to ask . i honestly wan na know the answer to that . he does what he does . if it does n't hurt anybody , why does there have to be a 'why ? ' '' it was more than a little annoying that he had a point . `` we want to understand you , '' i explained . `` half the shit any woman i know does i do not get . and i do not care that i do n't get it . she does what she does . she does n't get in my face doin ' it , who gives a f**k ? '' `` so you 're sayin ' you do n't give a f**k about how women think ? '' `` i 'm sayin ' i do n't need to know how you think , '' he replied . `` is this why you 're thirty-five and single ? '' i went on snottily . `` no , '' he returned immediately . `` i 'm thirty-five and single because i am not gon na settle for somethin ' that does n't feel right , does n't feel good , does n't bring me joy , does n't have my back , does n't know how to cook , keep house , listen , laugh , make me laugh , give great head , or ask me why i do shit . '' `` i 'm not sure that woman exists , '' i shared , and something changed in his eyes that i could probably read if i tried . but i did n't try . `` i 'll find her , '' he replied . `` i 'm thinkin ' you wo n't , '' i told him , no longer being a bitch . i really did n't think he would . the giving-great-head part especially . it was my experience , both personally and anecdotally , that most women found that a chore . it had to be done occasionally , but you went through the motions to do it . he leaned in even closer . `` then i 'll train her . '' i felt my eyes get squinty . `` we 're not dogs , ben . '' `` a woman gets in a relationship , you 're tellin ' me she does n't do her thing to train her man ? '' she started building her lesson plans the day after a first good date . on that thought , i decided a change in subject was in order so i brought us back to priority one . `` so you fixed your tv . why were you still in bed with me ? '' `` you felt good . i like you close . and when you are n't sawin ' logs , you 're makin ' cute little noises , like little whimpers , that i like hearin ' nearly as much as i like you close . '' suddenly , we were catapulted into dangerous territory , and that dangerous territory was that what he said was making me feel warm inside . `` benny , '' i whispered , but said no more . benny did n't need me to . he had plenty to say . `` seven years , f**ked around . i figure you knew . told you before i left , not f**kin ' around anymore . playin ' it straight . you asked , i gave it to you straight . ''

the faint lines near mitch 's eyes deepened . `` look , you were under a lot of stress after the accident , i get that ... but the cops said- '' `` i 'm not real interested in what the cops said , '' trace cut in . he was n't in the mood to have this pompous prick dismiss skye 's fears . `` i 'm interested in what skye says . someone attacked her , and i 'm here to find out who that was . '' loxley 's brown eyes darted from skye to trace . `` are you some kind of bodyguard or something ? '' those brown eyes assessed trace . mitch 's fingers snapped together . `` you were at the hospital , back when skye was first brought in . the admins upstairs forced us to let you in to see her . '' with the right leverage , he 'd found his way to skye 's bedside . the fact that he 'd made a hefty donation to the hospital 's charity board had certainly helped his situation . mitch 's eyes widened . `` you 're trace weston . '' `` trace , '' the doctor gritted as his gaze jumped to skye . `` i 've heard that name before , have n't i ? '' `` i should have known , '' loxley continued , `` when you told me you were headed back to chicago , that you 'd wind up with him . '' `` i do n't know what you want from me , skye . you left and-hold the hell up . '' a muscle flexed in his jaw as the doc seemed to fully grasp the situation . `` you think it was me ? you think i 'm the one who came after you ? '' trace asked him . the color had fled from skye 's face . trace did n't like that . `` i did n't even know her before the accident . so i sure could n't have been stalking her then . '' mitch threw himself into his chair . the wheels rolled back . `` and , no , i did n't rush after her to chicago . the sex was good , but trust me , i 've moved the hell on . '' the sex was good . every muscle in trace 's body tensed . `` give us a moment , would you , skye ? '' trace 's voice was soft . `` trace ... '' worry had entered her voice . she did still know him so well . this is my life we 're talking about . '' the drumming of his heartbeat filled trace 's ears . he forced himself to look back at the doctor . `` do you remember who visited skye while she was here ? '' `` i remember you , '' loxley snapped . `` i do n't forget it when the hospital vp tells me i have to let some visitor in against regulations . '' the guy needed to stop pushing . `` i have a lot of patients , it 's not like i can remember everything- '' `` you do n't f**k all your patients . '' trace paused . `` at least , i hope you do n't . so since skye warranted special treatment from you , i 'm thinking you might have paid a bit more attention to who was coming and going from her room . '' the doctor 's eyes had narrowed . anger burned in his dark gaze . `` the british guy , '' mitch bit out . `` wolfe . he came in , so did some of the women she danced with . i never saw anyone else , but then , i was working my rounds . treating other patients . not keeping a twenty-four seven watch on skye . '' the doctor just kept pushing ... `` i guess i know why you told me good-bye , skye , '' loxley said as he drummed his fingers on the desk . `` but then , i knew what was happening after that night . '' `` i 'm sorry , '' skye told him . trace stiffened . oh , hell , no , she did n't need to apologize to this jerk who did n't understand the whole concept of a doctor-patient relationship . `` so am i , '' loxley murmured . his gaze shifted to the door . jaw hard , he said , `` now if that 's all , i have work to do . '' `` i need to know where you 've been the last few days , doctor . '' though trace had a feeling that friendly nurse marsha could give him that info . because you think i flew to chicago and attacked skye ? '' mitch rose from his chair . crossed the small room until he stood right in front of skye . that i would hurt you ? i 'm the one who saved your life . i 'm the one who helped you . '' `` it 's not like that , mitch , '' skye said . there was some bite in her voice . `` i 'm just trying to figure out what 's happening .

normally i tell my sister everything , but i do n't feel like telling her about my one-night stand . `` did i tell you i love that color on you ? i look down , taking in my pink tank top and black shorts . i turn to face her , raising my eyebrows in question . reaching out , she locks a small strand of my hair and twirls it around her finger . you look beautiful as a brunette . '' she gives me a soft smile before letting my hair drop back against my chin . turning her head away from me she focuses her attention back on my room . i hate saying that . it does n't feel like my room . it feels more like a prison . `` are you going to unpack ? '' it 's been eight days since i moved in . i 'm not sure i 'm ready to unpack every box , making my stay here permanent . she nods in agreement , frowning at the boxes stacked on top of one another . genna is a neat freak , so i doubt she 's fond of my decorating style . `` we can paint it if you 'd like . '' she gestures toward the beige walls , still not looking at me . it 's such a mundane color . this is the only room in their three-bedroom house that is lacking in color . the rest of the house is filled with vibrant colors , making the rooms feel full of life . maybe that 's why she gave this one to me ? `` it 's fine , '' i reply , looking around at the walls . genna sighs softly , but she does n't speak . i know she knows that it 's not fine . women do n't use the word fine literally . `` genna , thank you . '' i feel as if i should say more , so i add , `` for everything . '' for some reason , i think i should also say some words of encouragement to take that sad look off her face , but nothing more comes . she leans her head on my shoulder as she takes my right hand into hers , lacing our fingers together . `` dre , whatever you need , or want , just tell me . do n't feel like you ca n't make any changes . this is your room and your home , despite what you say or think . jason and i want you to be comfortable . you can decorate this room , paint it , or do whatever you want . we just want you to be happy . '' i do n't have the heart to tell her that i 'm trying . i 'm trying to be happy , but i do n't know how . genna has the most positive outlook on life , and sometimes i think her heart is truly made of gold . she 's seven years older than me and has always been my protector . my parents tried to have a baby for four years before they looked into adoption . it was almost two years to the date when the agency called , saying they had a newborn baby girl for them , in china . my parents wanted a fast , smooth adoption , and the agency told them china would give them that . it was more expensive , but money was no object when it came to them wanting a baby . after they 'd gotten the news , they 'd hopped on a flight and returned three weeks later with genna . my parents had thought their dreams of being a family were complete until the day my mom found out she was pregnant with me . to this day , my parents call me their miracle baby . despite not being blood related , genna is my big sister in every way . we do n't need to have the same blood to be family , which is why we have matching tattoos on our feet . sisters by chance , friends by choice . she stands up from the bed , gesturing for me to follow . `` it 's time to get dinner started . you can help chop veggies . '' standing , i follow her downstairs to the kitchen . she 's a fantastic cook . i do n't know why she did n't go to culinary school to become a chef , rather than a substitute teacher . genna is the perfect wife . she spends her free time volunteering or baking . opening the fridge , i grab a bottle of water and the carrots , celery , bell peppers , and cucumbers that are sitting in the bottom drawer . i ask , making my way over to the center island . `` oh , just trying out this new chicken recipe i found . '' she gives me a warm smile before stuffing her nose into her recipe book . `` what time do you need to be at the hospital tomorrow ? '' i 'm starting to hate that word . the procedure is at one . '' i have to get my chemo port put back in to restart my therapy . chemo sucks . the movies only show you a small fraction of what really happens . it 's three , sometime four , hours of sitting in a chair , hooked up to a machine in order to receive the drugs you need . it 's a feeling of being vulnerable ... helpless . a sense of losing all control .

as sin 's wife , my position within the fellowship has changed . everyone within the brotherhood has expectations for me . and i have no idea what those are . stepping into this unfamiliar part is frightening . i fear we wo n't have time to breathe before our lives are thrown into yet another tailspin-beginning with our home . sin claims his flat is no longer a suitable place to live since we 're married . he says we should live in a house and would like to begin looking for one immediately . he 's already phoned realtors and has them searching for estates with a minimum of four bedrooms . sin 's already mentioned making the appointment with a fertility specialist . we agreed we 'd see one as soon as possible but it feels like another thing we 're jumping into . i understand it 's just a consult-not the actual procedure itself-but i 'm a little worried it 's something he 'll want to pursue soon because it 's what the fellowship will want , rather than what we want . he 's so hopeful when he talks about it . i guess i might be too if i had n't already been counseled-by more than one doctor-concerning my poor prognosis . granted they were n't the best doctors money could buy like the ones sin plans on seeing . i wait for sin to unlock the door of his flat-i mean , our flat-and shiver against the cold . he uses his foot to push open the door and scoops me from the ground . he carries me over the threshold and kisses me hard before returning my feet to the floor . mrs. breckenridge . i 've only heard him say it a few times . `` i like hearing you call me that . '' `` then i shall do it more often if it pleases you , mrs . i put my arms around his midsection and squeeze tightly . `` it does indeed , mr . entering his building still reminds me of traveling through a time warp . an old exterior . a modern interior . i glance around the flat . nothing has changed from four months ago . off-white walls . warm-toned wood flooring . streamlined . classy in a boring sort of way . lacks color , with the exception of the television when it 's on . it 's a man 's defined space . the enormous flat screen says it all . `` is it as you remember ? '' i stand over the cocktail table . i lift copies of women 's health and advanced photographer , looking at their dates . july editions . four months old . `` i did n't know if you were finished looking at them . '' `` so you kept them ? '' the lack of human presence in the flat for the last six weeks means it 's chilly . `` i should 've sent someone to turn on the heat . '' `` the cold is a good reason to snuggle until the furnace can heat the place up . '' sterling appears at the door with our luggage . `` where would you like your bags ? '' `` there will be fine . '' sterling pushes our bags up next to the sofa out of the way . sin turns on the heat . `` it should n't take long to warm up . i 'm beyond tired . two flights and one layover . a sixteen-hour journey from beginning to end . `` i feel like i could sleep for a week and the jet lag has n't even had time to kick in yet . '' `` let 's go to bed for a little while . '' i 'm not sure that 's a good idea . `` it 's nine in the morning . our days and nights will for sure be messed up . '' `` they 're already messed up , bonny . it 's three in the morning to us . '' he pulls on my wrists . it wo n't hurt if we rest a little . '' i 'm not sure he has resting on his mind . `` i will , but only to sleep and get warm . '' `` we have n't been here together in months . all i want is to lie next to you and sleep in our bed , in our home . '' * * * i wake because i 'm freezing . i 've never shared a bed with sin in weather like this but i 'm learning that he 's a cover hog . i 'm a girl from the south . i 'm not used to this degree of cold . it 's going to become bone chilling when december arrives in a few weeks so i need to make note of my husband 's linen-stealing tendencies . he looks warm and toasty beneath our platinum bedding so i slide over to spoon him from behind . i place my ice-cold hand over his stomach and give the comforter a yank , but to no avail as it 's tucked snuggly around him . i wrap my leg around his body . `` mmm ... hmm . he rolls to face me and brings the bedding with him , spreading it over me .

that sketch was taken to every person they had interviewed in the deaths of rachel madison , miguel de la iglesia , and chandra pal . no one had seen any of the victims with a man who looked like that . after that , beautyman released the sketch to the press and to watchdog . at which point some of the most handsome men in los angeles suddenly found that life wasnt so great when tipsters would call in their rakishly good looks . beautyman heard that a lot of them were starting to grow beards . would the killer too , he wondered ? meanwhile , beautyman had a team that was going over the life history of rachel madison with a fine tooth comb . by the time chandra pal was killed , four months had passed since the malibu vampire victim was found dead on the beach . as the first victim , the collective wisdom of the fbi , beautyman , and the l.a. county sheriff was that the killer must have had some personal tie to her . as a rule , serial killers didnt start with complete strangers . there must be something to tie the babylon killer to her . all in all , beautyman felt like the investigation had been as successful as it could be , given the circumstances , and he expected he would be able to turn up a strong suspect soon . granted , each new clue was akin to grasping at straws at this early stage . these were slim leads he was looking at , but beautyman knew from experience that this kind of investigation was a game of progressively narrowing suspects . he thought of l.a. county like a giant venn diagram , circles layered over circles . as each known fact was confirmed , the number of people in the population that could be the perpetrator dropped substantially . so 100,000 people in the area had access to propofol . of them , half were male . of them , no more than 40,000 would have the physical strength required to move the limp , drugged body of an adult male like miguel de la iglesia . of them , no more than 20,000 would even come close to being described as incredibly handsome . of them , no more than 5,000 could be within two degrees of separation from rachel madison . keep winnowing , and eventually youd have just a handful of people that might fit the bill . that was a slightly comforting thought after chandra pals body was found . but after her , the remaining four victims had nothing very conclusive to add to the list of leads . mary webers death in anaheim gave few hints that might be of help , although nearly every patient she had seen in the free clinic had been identified and located . tim cathersole , the peace corp volunteer who had spent most of his time in guam and the south pacific only to return home to be murdered , proved that the babylon killer was willing to kill both men and womenprevious fbi behavioral reports had suggested that miguel de la iglesia might have been an outlier and that the rest of the victims would be women . by the time jasmine davis was killed , beautyman wasnt sure that they really were getting any new facts . the most he could say he had learned was that the killer was still using propofol . given the dosage needed to knock out a victim , beautyman was starting to count on him needing to restock his supplies and hoped that a lead might come from a doctor or a vet reporting a missing supply . none did , which indicated that either the killer had stashed away a substantial supply of the drug before starting or that he still had easy access to it and was a doctor or vet himself . things were starting to reach a boiling point in the general public . politically it was going to be hard for beautyman to keep his job if he didnt act soon . before the sheriffor the pressstarted calling for his head , beautyman publicly asked for an independent and out of state auditor to review the investigation from top to bottom and identify any major weaknesses or flaws . if there were any places where they had screwed up by accidentally destroying a piece of evidence or some other stupid mistake , beautyman would step down from the investigation . some newspaper opinion pages thought it was a gracious way for beautyman to leave without getting fired . but three weeks later , the auditors report was clear . no bureaucratic bickering , no stones left unturned , no reports that were languishing on the sidelines . it didnt come right out and say , the killers just that good , but that was the truth of it . the auditors report probably helped beautyman keep his job a little while longer . the public anger was pervasive when , two weeks after the audit went public , the body of teenager julia lopez was discovered on the grounds of her high school . had it not been for being publicly cleared of any oafishness or incompetence just before , beautyman likely would have been made a scapegoat . dead teenage saints did not sit well . maybe he deserved to be sacked , he thought , when he saw the naked and shaved body of julia lopez . the audit request had been a tactic .

oh my god , i was a loser . she tried it on for size . it has a certain powerful quality . much better than sigreid , which only calls to mind milk and gingerbread cookies . or maybe molasses . then , finally changing the subject , she said , lets get down to business . are you available to start today ? after all , we have so much more to do than even i had anticipated . so far i had been critiqued , insulted , and found lacking . i had encountered none of the conventions one normally experienced during job interviews : no job description , no talk about job responsibilities , salary , benefits , requirements , credentials , nothing at all aside from this preliminary examination of my physical appearance . and to be quite honest i was not at all certain that i liked this woman . actually , i wasnt certain that i didnt hate her . but the thought of going back home , facing my parents , and admitting defeat once more kept me there . moving to the chair opposite her desk , i settled into it , keenly aware of the delicate queen anne frame . it made me feel even more bulky than ever . not that i was bulky per se . i had too many years of strenuous physical activity under my belt to be even slightly fat . i was all muscle , but with my height and my scandinavian build , i was sturdy to say the least . not fragile like this woman across from me . or her furniture . she exclaimed , taking my motion as compliance . my name is pia darcy-stillwell . my husband is bernard stillwell . as you must certainly already know , he is a successful businessman and investor . ( i did not . ) because his various business enterprises keep him traveling quite frequently , he allowed me to open my little gallery so that i might not become bored during his absences . the gallery has been running for a little over five years now and in such a short time has accumulated a rather prestigious clientele . certainly , some of these were referred to me by my husbands many business contacts , but i am proud to say our exemplary reputation has produced at least as many , if not more , clients . what i am trying to say is- image is everything . it is therefore imperative that my personal assistant exhibits just as polished an image as i do . personal assistant ? yeeees , she nodded slowly , drawing the word out as if she were talking to some mentally deficient person . but- but i thought- i thought this was a ... spit it out , dear . you thought it was a what ? an internship ? but i like anyone i hire to be personally trained by me . so what better way than to start you as my personal assistant and then from there well see where everything goes . darling , i can hardly hire you as an intern when you dont even know my personal taste , now can i ? her personal assistant . this is not what i had been prepared for . i had thought that i might start as an intern under another buyer , or even someone on the sales floor . but her assistant ? coffee girl , note-taker , photo-copier , 'here i am at your beck and call girl ? ' now i thought we might begin today with a little polishing . well start with some shopping , maybe some lunch , and then a quick trip to the spa . she was already rising from her chair eagerly . no , no , i cant ! i mean , couldnt i just start as i am , and then kind of change things a little at a time ? pia pinned me with a piercing stare . i thought you understood what i was trying so delicately to explain . now i can see that i shall have to be more frank . she could n't have been more frank if her last name was sinatra . she had been about as delicate as a baseball bat wielded by barry bonds . everything about me was wrong . not even in the neighborhood of right . she could n't have pounded the facts home more efficiently if she 'd used a sledge hammer . and yet she felt the need to elucidate . my dear , i could not possibly take you onto my gallery floor , let alone out to any public appearances , looking the way you do . you look as if you just dragged yourself off a cattle ranch . `` dairy farm , actually . '' ( in her book maybe , but my father could make some pretty extreme arguments . ) what you need is a complete overhaul before we can even get down to the business of , well , business . she sat back in her chair , awaiting my response . finally i said , what i dont get is , if i am so wrong for this position , then why go through all of this ? why not just say , im sorry , youre not right for the job ? i never said you werent right for the job . true , but then you couldnt , since you have nothing to base it on . you havent even looked at my portfolio for goodness sake . her bright eyes flashed to the case leaning on the chair beside me .

the complete character of the place astounded thomas . his first question , therefore , was how corporal smith had managed to instill such an ethos in such a short time , having only started working at the school one year previously . over the last year weve really improved discipline here , he explained . clamped down on any misbehaviour . its what the children wanted and theyve responded well . our gcse results have gone through the roof . what , specifically , have you done to improve discipline ? probed thomas . we have adopted a zero tolerance policy on virtually everything , declared the corporal . no drugs , no alcohol , no shirts tucked out- and any pupil who dares cross the line or disrespect a member of staff is sent home immediately . we dont believe in soft touch tactics here , mr. wilson . no namby pamby child psychologists here . just do as youre told , or face the consequences . the last headteacher- miss winterbottom- he said that name as if it was something dirty- was quite the opposite of me . she didnt believe in punishment . she wanted to understand her pupils . if one was caught swearing at a teacher , it was a session with the counsellor to find out if anything was wrong at home . if- god forbid , but it did happen- one was caught with drugs , hed be sent for a weeks holiday in the caribbean for rehabilitation . bloody liberal . thomas highly doubted this last claim . nonetheless , he noted it down . it gave the story a bit of colour . do you ever worry that such a disciplinarian approach may stifle your pupils creativity ? he opined of the corporal . as much as he admired the transformation in this school , a clash of backgrounds between the two men was inevitable : mr. wilson , the bohemian journalist with a background in literature ; corporal smith , the tough-talking military man who had fought in horrific battles where a self-controled attitude was essential simply to survive . creativity ? smith baulked . mister wilson , the pupils here have far more real concerns than whether we are stunting their creative growth . i dont know if it bypassed your attention when you were driving here , but this is a heavily run-down inner city estate . the kids here , without my help , face only a life of crime and poverty . the corporal stepped closer to thomas . i know your type , he continued . well educated , critical of the education system and its focus on exams and discipline , rules and recollection . let me tell you , the best thing we can do for these kids is give them qualifications , whether or not the system be flawed . if we do our jobs properly , we can give them some sort of brighter future that doesnt involve them being behind bars . thomas could have winced at that biting response from his interviewee . in the midst of his hostile rant , the headmaster had moved close to his interviewers face so that his breath was palpable and warm on the journalists visage . this kind of retort had affected him in his early career , but two years down the line he was used to it . in fact , it told him that he was doing a good job : if he did not annoy his interviewee at least once during his questioning , he knew he was not probing deep enough . undaunted , the eminent professional , thomas continued : have you had any difficulties in implementing your system of discipline ? the corporal did not reply for an instant . he appeared still to be eyeing up his questioner . yet he soon came round , for the journalist represented an opportunity at national publicity , and whether that was positive or negative was in his control . he therefore resolved to treat his guest with civility . weve had trouble with the law , he admitted . there have been things wed like to have done which we cant . and several teachers have protested , too . weve had to sack some of them you fired them ? for dissent ! a school is much like an army , and like an army it must have a hierarchy . that hierarchy collapses when the lower ranks openly refuse to obey a superiors orders . when that happens , they have to go . otherwise it sets a bad example to the pupils . what kind of orders have they disobeyed ? some of the staff refused to implement the new regime , he conceded . they thought it was too harsh on some of the weaker pupils . as he toured the school that day , thomas began to see why . of course , the new regime was constrained by law from using corporal punishment , but any loophole they could find was being exploited . detention now signified a whole day of back-breaking labour in the playing field , pointlessly digging up holes only to refill them . this had become the penalty for the most minor of misdemeanours and was not spared even for the sick or disabled among the student body . there was no longer any compassion visible within this institution ; no understanding of mental issues or family problems when students fell behind .

suddenly , prissi whirled away from the window . she grabbed her things and hurried outside to catch snowflakes on her wings . doing that would be easier than working through the question that had just come to her . did any of joes motivation to run away come from anger or disappointment at her ? for betraying him with jack ? rejecting his kisses ? prissi dropped her bag in the snow and , uncaring of how many gigs it would cost her for flying over campus on a school day , flapped hard and flew fast toward the west , into the heart of the storm . chapter eight sticks and stones two hundred kilometers to the north , in an unending , unbroken adirondack mountain forest , fifteen-year old joe fflowers swears as he slips and falls in the new snow . rubbing his arm where it has struck an up-thrust of rock hidden alongside the overgrown path , he takes advantage of the moment to take a deep breath . he is still on his knees when , from ten meters feet ahead , his guide , seka , imperiously barks , cmon . i dont want to use the lumenaids . in the growing gloam , joe pats his aching hands together to remove the snow and catch his breath . adrona , his other guide , coming up the trail behind him , taps his hip with a walking stick . we want to be undercover before hawks fly . wishing for wings ? despite the twelve hours a week that joe spends training with the hockey team , his chest aches from the pace they have been keeping . his knee has grown much worse . as planned , joe walks away from the dutton school just before lunch . his rendezvous with his railroader in a little used parking lot behind the waterville fire department building goes smoothly . the railroader puts him inside a kafir board tool box that takes up most of the bed of what jack guesses is a 2050 vintage truclet . the vehicle whines and groans as its tiny electric motor climbs through the hills of northwest connecticut , then screams in outraged protest as it fights its way through the higher elevations of the new york mountains . since the truclet has almost no springs left and his railroader hasnt thought to put anything soft in the box , joe bounces around throughout the trip . the farther north they go , the worse the roads become . joe is twisting around trying to make himself more comfortable when the driver hits a huge rut . joe flies through the air and smashes his head against a corner of the box . when he comes back down , his left leg twists under him . his knee pops . after four hours , a cold , bruised joe , with a throbbing knee , is helped from his hiding place . two people dressed in well-worn green microx are waiting in the shadows of an enormous fir tree . joe guesses the older of the two , whom the truclet driver calls seka , to be over two meters tall and weigh upward of eighty kilograms . a small head with red leather cheeks , jewel-like blue eyes and an ospreys nest of white hair , nods at the introduction . the second guide , adrona , is less man than boy . joe thinks that he might be no more than two or three years older than joe himselfcertainly no more than twenty . his hair is as unkempt as sekas , but it is reddish gold . the piercing blue eyes are the same . joes driver points , seka will take you from here , he extends his knuckles as he says solemnly , stars aligned . an embarrassed joe taps the outstretched knuckles with his own and mutters , stars benign . the railroader leaps toward the truclet as the runaway hurriedly settles his pak on his shoulders before running under the protection of the thick boughs of the forest . seka hands joe a satin-smooth , knobbed walking stick before jogging up a steep hill through a dense forest of tall , scarred white pine and hemlock . the thick layer of pine needles beneath their feet muffles the sounds of their passing . at first , the cushion of needles seems to lessen the pain pulsing in joes knee ; however as they continue to climb through the clean-smelling woods , the flagging boy realizes that the give of the needles is wearing him out just like a walk in deep snow . near the crest of the hill , the trees begin to thin . seka stays ten meters below the ridgeline and begins to move laterally . within minutes , the added pressure from running along the canted land causes joe to slow and , finally , to stop . as the escapee leans over to rub his kneecap , which feels like its been put on upside down , adrona taps his spine . an angry joe pushes the stick away . jump the pain . people think pain is a wall . its a fence .

other bolts fired downward , zapping some of the grakyl with such force that they fell dead to the earth . but most were grabbed and fired out of the valley with such force that they quickly vanished . down the steps , the skull king recognized the tide of battle had suddenly shifted . he turned his gaze again toward jake . for the first time , jake saw his eyes . they were spats of black flame . jake imagined the fire rising from a core of pure bloodstone . it was like staring into the eyes of something ancient and evil , something far older than any calypsian magister gone bad . behind that black gaze hid the nameless beast that forever haunted nightmares and prowled shadows and dark spaces , something that had been lurking at the edges of humankind since the beginning of time . jake felt a scream trapped in his throat . then that dreaded gaze fell away . the skull king flowed down the steps to his shadowy mount and flew up into the high saddle . wings rose like great sheets of night . the beast bunched its massive bulk and leaped skyward . jake watched the mount circle into the sky with mighty beats of its wings . lightning crackled all around mount and rider , stabbing and bursting against the shadows . unlike the grakyl , the skull king bore some alchemy that kept him from being immediately flung out of the valley . but from the rapid ascent , jake guessed such protections would not last long . the beast 's dark form fought for the clear skies and climbed higher . with one final burst , the skull king broke through the shield with an explosion of green fire and flew off . still , jake felt little relief . he remained cold and trembling-and he knew why . just before the skull king had turned away , jake sensed a wordless promise : this was not over between them . in this cusp of a new day , where light and darkness balanced , jake had made a choice to stand in the sunlight . and from this moment onward , the darkness would be watching him , waiting for him to slip . jake might have quailed and lost all heart right then , even with victory near . but he remembered something vital and important . bach'uuk came running out of the heart of the pyramid . marika came with him . she gripped jake 's hand , all warmth and sunshine . jake put his arm around bach'uuk , too . he needed their solidity to remind him that the world was far more than shadows . together , they listened to cheers rising from the town . `` you did it , '' marika breathed . `` we did it , '' jake added , but his lips refused to add what he also knew to be true . it did not take long for the skies to be cleared of the enemy . in a matter of minutes , only shimmers of emerald fire remained . then even this blew out , and wide blue skies beckoned . `` we should get back to town , '' marika finally said . she lifted a hand and tested the shield ahead of them . whispers of emerald energy danced over her fingertips . `` can we get out this way ? '' we should be able to pass through to the outside . '' marika stepped forward and drew jake along . jake felt the tingling sweep over his body-then they were through and stepped out of the shadow and into the fullness of the morning . bach'uuk followed after them . curious , jake reached back toward the doorway again . the shield pushed against him , crackling with a fierce fire . it had let them out , but it was n't going to let them back in . satisfied the heart of the pyramid was safe for the moment , the trio hurried down the stone steps and reached the path that crossed the sacred woods . they had n't taken more than a couple dozen steps along the trail when they were surrounded . he recognized the mix of norse gear and roman attire-battered , bloody , and torn . he turned to see kady push forward . of course , she had n't gone far . she must have thought jake had been trapped inside the pyramid this entire time . jake let go of marika 's hand and ran toward his sister . kady ran toward him . they crashed against each other . kady hugged him tight . they were silent for a full breath , allowing themselves simply to be brother and sister , to let the warmth of family melt away the rest of their fears . `` i thought ... i did n't know ... '' she said , squeezing the breath out of him . `` i know , '' he gasped out . she broke away and stared at him sternly . she seemed at a loss as to how to answer that . her fear was nameless . she managed an exasperated `` scare me like that . '' but jake knew the words failed to truly hold all she felt . he felt the same way , a swirl of emotions that could not be contained within words . it was relief and terror , chaos and security , happiness and tears .

fallston looked to isaac , who nodded ever so slightly . now , we must be taken to the lady . certainly , what of your horses ? we will be riding them back tonight . do not take the gear from them , but do water and give them grain . also , we will be requiring horses for the woman . see to it that they are ready immediately . fallston purposely turned away and looked about him as if he had no doubt that his orders would be obeyed without question and indeed they were . they dismounted and their horses were taken . as isaac watched them taken to the stable he saw four others brought out . there are four woman . not as many as he had hoped there would be , but certainly thankful that there were any left with genevieve . their husbands , of fathers , were they alive , would be overjoyed at seeing them again . the captain indicated to fallston . they followed and he took them across the courtyard and into a narrow passage way . this brought them to the edge of a garden , which could be seen for its beauty even in the darkness , lit only by torches . up these stairs . the captain pointed . i will go before you to announce your arrival to the lady . he went up the stairs and they followed , with each step their hopes building . down another hallway and then before a great door they went . here they stopped . the captain motioned for the two servants to step aside and knocked upon the great door , then pushed it open . the men stepped inside . they were in an anteroom and there stood a maid on hand who had heard the knock . the captain told her to get the lady genevieve . lady genevieve appeared a short time later . she was dressed for the feast and seemed to be somewhat disturbed at the summons by the maid , who said it was the captain of the guard that requested an audience ; surely sir frances had arrived , and the dreaded meeting was to take place . isaac waited , knowing this would be one of the most dangerous aspects of their plan ; her reaction . he had instructed the other men on this moment as well ; there must be no surprise , no recognition , certainly no acknowledgement of their mission , he hoped that she would know what to do . when genevieve saw the men behind the captain she only glanced at them momentarily and purposely pulled her gaze from them , though deep within her that latent hope sprang up and nearly choked her words with tears of joy , yet she refrained for the sake of wisdom . her face did not display any recognition or emotion other than a faint trace of annoyance . yes , captain , what is it that you desire of me just now ? she spoke in a manner that she hoped would make the man feel ill at ease and further be discomfited , incapable of piecing together the devastating miracle that was happening around him . genevieve prayed in her heart that all would work as providence mercifully must desire by the sending of these four angels , all of whom she recognized , especially isaac . he was the only one that she recognized as being there on that fateful day . she realized that very possibly the others were all killed . i beg your pardon , milady , but these men have come with news of the dukes nearness , they have a message for you and also require something at your hand . he spoke in tones of contrition , trying not to upset , but to appease the obvious inopportunity that he had caused his masters soon-to-be-bride , or mistress . very well , thank you rico . you may go now i will see what it is that they desire . the man bowed , and stepped back ready to withdraw from them . also , captain , i do not have to tell you that if sir frances desires something he will be most angry at every moment of delay . let it not be at your hand that any occurs . certainly not , milady , the horses are being saddled even now we will have them ready in a moment . he spoke with conviction , conveying his efficiency was worthy of notice and honorable mention to his master . genevieves features gave way to slight surprise and elation at the prospect of what readied horses might indicate . fallston stepped forward . allow to explain me , lady genevieve . he nodded to the receding captain . thank you captain rico , i will make mention of you to our master , please have the gate opened for us when we get to the horses . as you wish , fallston . the door shut and they were standing there face to face , no one speaking , only staring ; genevieve from man to man and all at her . for some time no one moved . it was as if they were trying to fathom the depths of reality to see if it was only a dream . lady genevieve was the first to make a move . she fell down on her knees and grasped fallstons hand . thanks be to god , fallston , thanks be to god !

`` serus , you 're awake , '' she said . `` a day and a half , '' she replied . `` they pumped you full of drugs for the surgery . '' `` surgery for what ? '' `` you had a broken rib that punctured your right lung . it was pretty bad so they had to do emergency surgery on you . you 've been sleeping off the drugs during since then . '' `` what happened with sorell and the policemen ? '' `` they are all dead and disposed of , '' she said . `` laurel had a hand in ensuring their disposition . i guess it pays to have friends who know their way around a transport . '' kara smiled at me and i returned it . `` where is laurel now ? '' `` she 's at work . the commander said that she could have some time off once you woke up , but he could n't justify giving her the time when there was nothing that she could do . '' `` sounds like a lovely person to work for , '' i said . `` maybe , but he was the one that helped us get rid of the bodies so he must not be that bad , '' kara said . i chuckled a bit though i had to hold my side due to the pain . `` serus , there is something that i need to speak with you about . '' `` it 's about laurel , '' she said . `` i 've had a pretty long conversation with her last night while you were recuperating . it seems that she still holds some very strong feelings for you . my concern is that the lifestyle that we will be leading on earth will not allow for you to explore the possibilities of a restored relationship with her . '' that i not pursue a relationship , or that i kill the mission before it even begins ? '' `` i do n't know , '' kara said . `` either way life will be hard . if we allow the syndicate to control everyone like they have been then there will be no hope for a decent future , if you step away from laurel then you may lose a chance at being happy . '' `` we 'll why ca n't i have both in my life ? '' `` do you really expect her to accept the kind of life that you will be providing ? '' `` what kind of life would that be , kara ? one where i am fighting for freedom ? '' `` no , one where you will be fighting for anything . do you not realize the potential risks involved ? it would be unfair to uproot her from a secure life without at least speaking to her about the potential harm that may come because of her decision . '' kara was right . if i allowed laurel to get hurt because she did n't know what she was stepping into then i would never be able to forgive myself . it was something that i was going to have to discuss with her when i saw her next . i knew what i wanted and i knew what i had to do . i could n't easily let one go for the other . `` what does she know about our mission and what we are involved with ? '' i skirted around her questions , but i 'm sure she will ask you many of the same things that she asked me . '' `` alright , i 'll talk to her tonight and let her make the decision after i tell her everything , '' i said . there 's too much at stake , '' i laid my head back on the pillow and closed my eyes , thinking about a future with laurel was filling my heart with hope , but the possibility of pushing her away because of my mission stripped that hope away and stomped it to death . it would be her decision in the end ; i just hoped that i could live with it . chapter 34 the hours passed like days as i waited for laurel to come and visit me . the doctors insisted that i stay under observation for another day or so , but i was ready to make a break for it . the sterile hospital room made me feel uncomfortable to say the least . kara went out to grab a meal at the galley as i sat and fiddled around with the media device trying to find something to occupy my time . we were receiving transmissions from mars and the reports were bleak regarding the escalation of rioting in the streets . it was a variable frenzy of anarchy not just in archea , but elsewhere as well . frustrated and bored i flung the remote controller to the foot of the bed and laid my head back to rest . i had counted the ceiling tiles more than once and i was getting ready to count them again when she came walking into the room . `` hey , '' she said with a smile across her face . laurel leaned over the bed and planted a firm kiss on my cheek and i could smell the fragrance that she was wearing . it was a very familiar scent . `` is that prim rose that i smell ? '' i asked , taking the smell deeper into my lungs . `` yes , i 'm glad that you remembered . it 's the only perfume that i 've worn since you gave it to me on my birthday .

perhaps she knew all along that her father was not exactly devoted , at least not romantically , to her mother , so she disowned him a long time ago , and she has been looking for a big , strong , straight man to play her daddy ever since . either that , or i passed my attraction to older men through the womb . so pathetic the only one who is behaving pathetically here , my dear , is you . i looked at him , as livid as i had been the night before when james had called me a child . who were these old men to call me out on my behavior , but especially to suggest that my behavior somehow made me less mature than they were ? adam had married me , and james had chosen to stay by my side for over twenty years . he had met me when i was actually twenty-two and not just physically so . the reason why he had not beaten himself up too badly over our relationship was because he said i was so atypical in relation to other girls my age . he would never fathom having a relationship with a girl who behaved as all twenty-two year old girls should . adam had said the very same , and yet here they were , accusing me of this childishness with total ignorance as to how foolish it made them look , for carrying on with me . or perhaps i was blowing it out of proportion , as they say . the girl was raised by rachel and tom , yes , but she went to school with children from old spirit families . from families dedicated to the old spirits . she attended tyres services , she heard the old one gods words , and regardless of how valiantly rachel and tom must have tried to keep her from picking up those prejudices , she was exposed to them every day for sixteen years . it is not her fault that she can not accept that tom loved other men . she has spent her entire life thinking that he was devoted to her mother , and not only that , but also thinking that for a man to love another man is wrong . it condemns one to eternal darkness . her father is dead , brynna , and if he truly did love other men , then according to their creed , he has not found peace . instead , he is lost in some other realm , burning and drowning in darkness , constantly searching for a way out , aware that he is dead , that he has not been given salvation , but unable to find his way back . that is not why she was so upset . she would not hear it . she called him idem , adam . she called him that terrible name , and if it were only a matter of his salvation or lack thereof , that word never could have passed her lips . she is young and foolish . she knows not how serious it is . you and james want to think that she is so young and innocent that she doesnt know the error of her ways . if she grew up around these prejudices , then she knows that there is no worse slur ! you are so stubborn . he snapped , and his voice was an exasperated hiss . you are as afraid of her as she is of you , if not more so . had i known that this is how you would have treated her , i would have he stopped , because unlike james , he could stop . what he was going to say was going to wound me terribly , and he gathered his sense even in the midst of his anger to stop himself from saying it . but just as i had done with james , i pushed him , except this time , i did not ask what he would have done , because i already knew exactly what he had been going to say , so i filled in the words for him . you would have let her die inside of me , or you would not have put her inside of me at all . he looked at me , unsure if i had read his mind , though i had not needed to . his eyes were so cold , so tired . he was seeing me as the villain for how i had treated grace over the previous months . in his mind , he was thinking how peculiar it was that he respected james more than he respected me in that moment , because james had brought grace to him , and because grace had felt comfortable confiding in james before james had convinced her to talk to adam . i , on the other hand , had made graces life miserable since the moment i had met her , and i had made it even more miserable after i had realized that she was my daughter . if you want to read my mind , fine . he told me coldly , you do not like what you are seeing there , but it is how i feel . i know that you are capable of being better than what you are being right now . you are capable of immense kindness , and i know that because i have seen it . but as these weeks and months and years go on , i find myself less and less able to find that part of you . i shudder to think how you would be if something happened to those of us you love . it saddens me to think that your kindness could not stand if it were not for us , but just stop right there . i snapped at him , and my voice was trembling .

is that a big deal ? '' it 's only the most exclusive event of the year . all the biggest , hottest names in the colorado sports world , including current and former broncos players , rockies players , nuggets players , avalanche players , and olympic trainers , are involved . million-dollar deals are made at this event . they choose an athlete of the year and give an award for most philanthropic work . not only is it huge that ronin is invited , but it 's huge that he asked you to be his date . '' `` i guess he 's been invited in years past but he 's never gone . '' emmylou jokingly beat her head on the wooden support post . that 's when chaz breezed in . `` bonjour , mesdemoiselles . '' `` chaz , you 're absolutely gon na flip when i tell you this news . '' `` the cast from magic mike is making a sequel and this time it 's all g*y p**n ? '' `` no , pervert . amery is going to the colorado sports banquet this saturday as ronin black 's date . '' `` i 'm dead-ass serious . '' emmylou leaned forward and mock-whispered , `` she had no idea it 's a big deal . '' chaz put his hand on his stomach . `` i might actually have to sit down . '' amery narrowed her eyes at her overly dramatic friend . `` how do you know about this event ? you are the least sporty guy i know . '' `` i know about it because everyone who 's anyone in denver goes to this event . it 's not only about sports ; the event is elbow to elbow with philanthropists . this event is so exclusive the catering staff and servers are subjected to serious military-style background checks . '' `` why have i never heard of it ? '' `` because you live under a rock ? '' chaz suggested sweetly . emmylou swatted him . `` be nice , because you know what amery attending this event means ... '' `` what does it mean ? '' amery demanded . `` shopping trip , '' they said simultaneously . then chaz said , `` girl , i 'm on this . this is what i live for . '' `` this is n't a costume party , '' emmylou drawled . `` amery needs to look classy . '' chaz gave emmylou 's outfit-a floral chiffon baby doll dress , worn over ripped pink leggings , and her doc martens with flames on the toes-a sneering once-over . `` i guess that leaves you out of the shopping excursion . '' `` i swear if you two do n't knock it off , i will buy a dress at kmart and call it good . '' they both gasped . we 'll work together , we promise , wo n't we , emmylou , my love ? '' `` absolutely , chaz , my turtledove , '' she cooed back . amery made gagging noises . `` wait , it 's monday , right ? '' chaz said . `` you know what 's open today ? '' `` natasha 's . '' `` at the risk of being outed as ignorant again , what is natasha 's ? '' amery asked . `` a vintage and designer clothing boutique . she owns stores in ten states and only takes the highest-quality pieces in exchange for store credit-no cash . but the kicker is , if you drop off your item here in denver , it wo n't be resold in denver . it 'll be shipped to one of the other nine stores . and it 's only open two days a week . '' `` she moves that much merchandise ? '' `` that , i 'm not sure of . i do know it adds another layer of exclusivity . '' `` so it 's a goodwill for rich people . except with fewer store hours . '' chaz did n't recognize her sarcasm . he shooed her toward the stairs . `` since this is a fashion emergency , we 'll close up shop . '' emmylou said , `` i 'll grab my purse and my keys . '' two hours later , amery stared at the rack of dresses , more than a little discouraged . she must 've tried on two dozen outfits , from funky to chic . a couple looked good , but none looked great , or gave her that wow factor she wanted . emmylou and chaz had ganged up on her with the help of niles , the nattily dressed salesman . they brought her long dresses , short dresses , even a couple of halston pantsuits from the 70s that were retro enough to be hip . since they were convinced they knew what style suited her better than she did , amery had n't checked the merchandise .

no , the mortgage has gone through . it wasnt in the weekly until everything was finalized , helen said . when helen and alice ended their visit , josephine tried calling gary but he wouldnt pick up . she left him a brief message then hung up the phone . josephine gazed out the window and could see dark clouds gathering in the azure sky . she drove down to the siesta key beach hoping to run into gary . she walked along the shore and tried to ignore the tempting power waves emanating from the vortex and brushing seductively against her . she walked briskly from one end of the beach to the other but didnt see gary which was a big disappointment . shed wanted to know more about her abilities and wanted to know what gary had experienced . josephine returned to her car and drove to a busy restaurant which was located about eight blocks from the beach . she didnt find it challenging at all to tap into the vortex . power instantly flooded through her . her body felt relaxed and invigorated at the same time . she could sense the myriad trace energies milling about and random impressions danced in her mind . josephine gasped in surprise when an image of a thin , pale , young woman rocking on the floor appeared . she wore jeans and a pink tee shirt and had a crazed look on her face . her brown eyes brimmed with madness and spittle dripped down her chin . josephine recognized this category six as brenda kirkland from the picture in the history books shed read . brenda was the infamous wizard whod caused the disaster and unwittingly ushered humankind into a new state of being . in josephines vision , brenda was frantically muttering something to herself as she rocked more and more violently . abruptly , she lost the image which was replaced by other impressions . josephine tried to get it back but couldnt . she was surprised that a trace energy of brenda kirkland had existed for so long . interesting , josephine said to herself . she was still tapped into the vortex and could feel her mind expanding further . surface thoughts of nearby humans and wizards buzzed in the background . josephine lost track of time and soon felt as though she was floating . she reached out for any trace energies similar to the one that had caused the vision of brenda to appear . it was difficult to focus as her attention scattered in multiple directions the longer she stayed connected to the vortex . another vision appeared of brenda in a small bedroom with a minimum of furniture . she huddled in the far corner of the room wearing jeans and a white tee shirt . a wizard was approaching her with his wand pulled out and a shield in place . brenda abruptly rose to her feet and the plastic bracelet around her wrist broke into pieces that disintegrated into a sandy substance as it fell to the floor . the plastic bracelet had contained the aequitas enchantment and she had somehow managed to destroy it at that moment . the wizard who entered the room was short with sandy hair and green eyes . he was one of her care-takers who watched over her to make sure she didnt escape and expose the humans to magic . wizards had still lived in secret during this time period . you want to kill me ! she screamed shrilly . everything is okay , he said reassuringly . im just here to help you . youre here to stop me from completing my mission ! brenda shouted furiously . two more wizards slowly stepped into the room with their wands pulled out and shields already in place . everything is fine , the man said calmly . resolute determination reflected in brendas pale face as she stared the three wizards down . they all fired knockout spells at just about the same time and all of them bounced harmlessly away from her . she held her arms out in front of her with palms extended toward them . the protection enchantments of all three wizards melted away . one of the wizards asked . in the next instant , all three of them crumpled to the floor as she struck them all with a knockout spell . brenda turned toward the window which was protected by steel bars to keep her from escaping . she had been preparing for this moment for months . josephine could sense this in the vision . more wizards were racing down the hall toward the room . brenda raised her left hand toward the door and it slammed shut . she turned her attention back to the window and the glass shattered . the steel bars screeched loudly as they slowly twisted and tore out of the frame . the vision wavered and vanished before josephine could see more . a pervasive chill and a sense of dread washed over her . she hadnt realized she had this potential . the history books had never described exactly how brenda had escaped from her prison in the house . josephine maintained her connection to the vortex but dismissed all thoughts of brenda . she no longer wished to see anymore of this madwomans plight .

'creepy old bastard . ' and the three of them laughed again . through the glass doors , amplified by the microphone , came maureen 's croaky voice . 'come on , then , howard ! come on - a duet for your birthday ! go on - ladies and gentlemen - howard 's favourite song ! ' the teenagers gazed at each other in tantalized horror . gaia tripped forward , giggling , and pushed the door open . the first few bars of 'the green , green grass of home ' blared out , and then , in howard 's bass and maureen 's gravelly alto : the old home town looks the same , as i step down from the train ... gavin was the only one who heard the giggles and snorts , but when he turned around all he saw were the double doors to the kitchen , swinging a little on their hinges . miles had left to chat with aubrey and julia fawley , who had arrived late , wreathed in polite smiles . gavin was in the grip of a familiar mixture of dread and anxiety . his brief sunlit haze of freedom and happiness had been overcast by the twin threats of gaia blabbing what he had said to her mother , and of mary leaving pagford for ever . down the lane i walk , with my sweet mary , hair of gold and lips like cherries ... 'kay not here ? ' samantha had arrived , leaning against the table beside him , smirking . 'you already asked me that , ' said gavin . 'everything ok with you two ? ' 'is that really any of your business ? ' it slipped out of him before he could stop it ; he was sick of her constant probing and jeering . for once , it was just the two of them ; miles was still busy with the fawleys . she over-acted being taken aback . her eyes were bloodshot and her speech was deliberate ; for the first time , gavin felt more dislike than intimidation . i was only - ' 'asking . yeah , ' he said , as howard and maureen swayed , arm in arm . 'i 'd like to see you settled down . you and kay seemed good together . ' 'yeah , well , i like my freedom , ' said gavin . 'i do n't know many happily married couples . ' samantha had drunk too much to feel the full force of the dig , but she had the impression that one had been made . 'marriages are always a mystery to outsiders , ' she said carefully . 'nobody can ever really know except the two people involved . so you should n't judge , gavin . ' 'thanks for the insight , ' he said , and irritated past endurance he set down his empty beer can and headed towards the cloakroom . samantha watched him leave , sure that she had had the best of the encounter , and turned her attention to her mother-in-law , whom she could see through a gap in the crowd , watching howard and maureen sing . samantha relished shirley 's anger , which was expressed in the tightest , coldest smile she had worn all evening . howard and maureen had performed together many a time over the years ; howard loved to sing , and maureen had once performed backing vocals for a local skiffle band . when the song finished , shirley clapped her hands together once ; she might have been summoning a flunkey , and samantha laughed out loud and moved along to the bar end of the table , which she was disappointed to find unmanned by the boy in the bow tie . andrew , gaia and sukhvinder were still convulsed in the kitchen . they laughed because of howard and maureen 's duet , and because they had finished two-thirds of the vodka , but mostly they laughed because they laughed , feeding off each other until they could barely stand . the little window over the sink , propped ajar so that the kitchen did not become too steamy , rattled and clattered , and fats ' head appeared through it . 'evening , ' he said . evidently he had climbed onto something outside , because , with a noise of scraping and a heavy object falling over , more and more of him emerged through the window until he landed heavily on the draining board , knocking several glasses to the ground , where they shattered . sukhvinder walked straight out of the kitchen . andrew knew immediately that he did not want fats there . only gaia seemed unperturbed . still giggling , she said , 'there 's a door , you know . ' 'where 's the drink ? ' 'this is ours , ' said gaia , cradling the vodka in her arms . 'andy nicked it . you 'll have to get your own . ' 'not a problem , ' said fats coolly , and he walked through the doors into the hall .

heartbeat fading 9 beats at a time , she put her finger to her lover 's lips , and spoke . alma : i always thought i was supposed to create a child . i thought that if i made a child , then my anima would be satisfied . but i have n't made a child . i 've made a man . i did n't need to create anything new to make the world a better place , jake- i made it better by learning to love what was right in front of me . alma paused to cough . kane tensed , fearing her death . he wrapped his arms to warm her . he did n't dare speak . he listened , truly , with the efforts of his soul , and breathed the faint sounds of her spirit . alma : if you 're ever unhappy it 's because you 've forgotten what we 've taught you . i 've seen the true you . i 've seen your soul , and you are beautiful , jake , you are wonderful and beautiful and you 've always tried to hide this in every song you ever wrote , but if you do n't hide anymore then you wo n't be afraid of anything . you wo n't be afraid of yourself . kane let his tears fall into alma 's hair , staining them with lover 's salt . he placed his hand in hers , her hand in his , trying to pass his warmth to her because she was getting colder . alma : you 've achieved a following with your music . you 've had an accomplished career , and you can use this power for good . but when you 're in my position and you 're crossing over into death , you wo n't be thinking of any of that . you 'll be thinking of me . just as you 're holding my hand to guide me out of life , i 'll be holding yours , waiting to guide you into death . i have raised you to believe . how could she have just channeled into his greatest secret , his train of power ? she nearly quoted the final stanza verbatim- behold ! she sees , offering her peace . fly beyond the light together , she will be your guide . tapping into the fuel that once created train of power- his greatest masterpiece and his greatest sin- something made sense . the scoundrels ' problems never resulted from the fact that they never equaled the perfection of their first-ever performance- kane could n't put the rest together in his head , too overwhelmed to broach the brilliance of train of power . alma lay still in his lap . he wished she would say more , but she had nothing else to say . kane : i have something for you . kane reached into his ratty blue-jeans and removed a pristinely preserved violet from his pocket . he tucked the flower behind her ear . it felt so natural and so perfect in her ear that she succumbed to a violet rush of being , making sounds and noises in an almighty release . alma ( a near-smile , eyes closed and calm ) : you make me feel young again , jake . she smelled of violets freshly plucked by the sprites of eden . her hand in his , all was right . alma : take me outside . kane ordered johnny-john to pull over . he opened the door and carried alma outside to breathe the grecian nighttime air , holding her hand all the while so that he may guide her out of life . he rested her on the ground , a hint of smile across her face , and he felt the life slowly fade from her hands , holding her , singing sweet lullabies to rock her gentle soul . what song he did kane sing to his lover ? well , that 's something that will have to remain between kane and alma . the important thing for you to know is that alma finally rejoiced in her lover 's vocal song , and every breath was pure elation , until she was not quite awake and not quite asleep , but positively dreaming . kane knocked on johnny-john 's window and requested that the driver wait while kane buried the body . johnny offered to help , but kane refused , as this was a deed that must be done by him alone . he sifted his hands through the tough grecian dirt , breathing hot breath to warm the sands . thus kane hailand dug alma 's grave , the only grave he ever dug . he did not use a shovel or a hoe or any other machine- he used the raw physicality that his god gifted him . when alas he had finished , exhausted , rewarded , and ensconced in yet another layer of filth from the earth , he placed the body in the shallow hole and scooped the dirt back over her . he felt that he should write her name in the dirt , to commemorate her resting place- not for any living person to see , but just for her . what would she want to be called- alma , gaia , eve ?

employing the algol 's minimcom unit would allow them to be together . rome finally screwed up enough courage to ask , almost demand , that they take it . here is that scene : commander ursay ? yes , replied ursay . i would like permission to fly the container up myself along with rei , rome said . asked ursay . because , rome took a deep breath . because we are going to give rei the tugs so that he can tow his ark to deucado . he needs training and i think this would be the perfect time for him to learn how to operate a tug . omcom already informed us of your plan to utilize the tugs . we find it acceptable , ursay said . so , thats a yes ? ursay nodded once . rei paused for a moment . theres something else minimcom , said ursay . you may have it . he took a step toward rei , then another . in a lower voice , he said , we had judged you a blight , a burden . you were from garecei ti essessoni . you compromised this woman , with your undisciplined mind , your murderous past . we were to exile you , but now now what ? you have demonstrated to us that as an individual , you have worth . that your separateness is of value . we regret romes cesdiud . in retrospect , we can see that it was , perhaps , premature . when we get back to earth , we have decided to allow rome to rejoin the overmind . of course we know that rome did not even consider rejoining the overmind or returning to earth . in fact , she hurt the overmind 's feelings when she rejected it . in rome 's words , `` it is surprisingly sensitive for a super-being with immeasurable intellect . at least rome 's first foray into assertiveness was not very painful . entry 2-087 : march 23 , 2014 the vuduri and e-mail obviously , since they are all mind-connected , the vuduri would have no use for email . they have very sophisticated electronics for other purposes but just no email . in fact , when rome realized that by going to live on deucado , there was a chance she would never see her mother again , she needed a method of getting the information regarding her decision . she was stumped . rei straightened her out : well , youre going to go to deucado with me , rei said . thats going to make it more difficult to see her , dont you think ? what do you want to do about her ? i had not thought of that . i , i do not know what i will do about that . do you think shed ever come to deucado ? to see you ? i do not know , rome replied . when commander ursay and the crew get back to earth , the overmind there will know that i am going to deucado . so my mother will know . they will tell her about my cesdiud . i wish she would come , though . she would like it on deucado . now that i understand the concept , from the few descriptions i recall , i believe it to be very beautiful there . there are many mandasurte there . she seemed to always like it among the mandasurte . how about sending her a note ? rome asked back , confused . write her a letter . give it to ursay . let him deliver it to her . tell her what happened , that you are ok and that you want her to come visit . i have never written a letter before . conceptually , it would not seem to be that difficult . i suppose i could do that . youve never written a letter to somebody ? what about e-mail ? e-mail ? electronic mail . notes sent electronically . we would never do that . rome pointed to her temple and made a wry grin . in the original long-form version of rome 's revolution , i actually included the entire letter both in vuduri and english . however , when i condensed the three books down to one , the letter in both languages had to go . it will reappear when i release the vuduri companion later this year . entry 2-088 : march 24 , 2014 the psychic speed-dial in rome 's revolution , much is made about a vuduri 's commitment to the overmind but is there any way for one vuduri to `` speak '' to another , even if it is mentally ? every mind-connected vuduri carries around the psychic equivalent of a `` speed-dial '' which allows them to communicate directly to another vuduri . the problem is that you can not do so until you have done so . i know that seems confusing but here is rome 's explanation to rei : the overmind always listens in . and the vuduri typically do not have much to say to each other .

the point is to make her stop thinking and wanting sex-not devising strategies to get it . considering my mind circulates around hunting for a bottle of something alcoholic , i understand it 's not a simple task . lily says excitedly . `` we did n't miss the part with sif . '' her eyes flicker to me briefly before they return to the tv . `` you think we should go to comic-con this year ? we can dress up as thor and sif . '' i sit down next to her on the couch , giving her a cushion worth of distance . i catch the instant frown in her eyes but it disappears when she focuses on the movie . `` i do n't think i 'd look good as a blond , '' i tell her . she appraises my hair and then her eyes drop , lingering as she takes in my other features . she 's stared at me so hard for the past couple weeks that i 'm fairly certain in a year she could recall every freckle by memory . `` i ... yeah , umm ... blond ... no , '' she stammers before turning back to the movie . `` how about we go as loki and sif ? '' she hesitates a moment before shaking her head . her eyes meet mine again , and this time they stay right there . `` how about hellion and x-23 ? '' she never wants to dress up in the x-23 costume . it 's skimpy black leather that exposes her entire midriff , and i practically have to beg her to cosplay my favorite mutant couple . she 's offering this to me , and for some reason i have the sudden urge to take her right here . i bridge the distance between us and my lips find hers . her surprise stiffens her shoulders and freezes her arms , and i edge her mouth open , slipping my tongue inside . she wakes up , her hands swooping around my neck . i smile against her soft lips . my girlfriend is like a raunchy sleeping beauty , reanimating from a deep-throated kiss . i run my tongue along the base of her neck , and she begins to writhe underneath me . she 's unlike any girl i 've ever been with . little things set her off as if her body is made of a thousand nerves . she responds to every touch and lick like they 're each the peak she wishes to reach . her hands fly towards my pants , and i have to grab them before she does anything . a moan escapes her lips , and her spine curves , her body arching towards me . i lift her up beneath her arms , and her legs instantly wrap around my waist . i press a strong kiss to her lips , inhaling the vanilla scent of her hair . even midway in the air , she starts to grind against me . she has to feel that i 'm hard , but i need her to keep her hands off me . i have self-control , but it flits away whenever she starts rubbing against my cock . i set her down on the rug , the couch to our left . my lips slowly brush the top of her ear , my teeth barely skimming the tenderness of her skin . she lets out a sharp gasp . `` easy , love , '' i breathe . she settles again and i start , ever so slowly , undressing her . the light touch of the fabric sends her off as the shirt grazes up her belly and over her head . as i go for her jeans , she tries to sit up and touch me , but i put my hand on her shoulder , forcing her back to the floor again and give her a disapproving look . she breathes heavily , and i wait to unbutton her until she nods , accepting that she must stay still . when she does , i fish the button through the hole and slowly unzip . as i slide her jeans below her hips , down her thighs , i drink in her body and the way she responds to me . the little cries , the twitches of her legs and the curl of her toes . every motion is filled with beauty that she wo n't ever understand . it makes me aware of how alive she is . after tossing her jeans to the side , i kiss the tops of her br**sts , and she shudders against me . i run my teeth playfully over her bra straps , and her chest rises and falls in quick succession , eager and wanting . `` lo , '' she moans . i stifle a groan in my throat , and i unclip her bra , freeing her of the clothing . and then i gently slip her panties down and off her ankles . while doing so , i lightly brush my fingers across the wet spot between her legs , so brief and powerful that the sensation immediately jolts her body . i have to remind her to stay still again . `` lo , please , '' she says , her voice raw and raspy . i kiss those reddened lips , and then stand to my feet , leaving her bare and nak*d on the living room floor .

`` yeah , we are there . keep to the right . '' `` it 's getting darker , '' torque said . `` but i can still see . i love this place ! '' they traveled for another ten minutes and torque told him what he 'd done in the states to be sent here . `` it was bloody business , seth , but it had to be done . my destiny is here . torque 's excitement was contagious . seth did n't want to die any more . when kyle had left him blind he thought his life was over but the more torque talked , the more he began to appreciate his new situation . `` we should be coming upon sar 's clearing . '' it 's about 75x75 . berries on vines around the edges . '' seth could hear the sounds of torque digging in the dirt . `` i do n't see sar . he lives here ? '' `` no , '' seth said and the memory of that fall day returned . the day that changed sar forever . he told torque the story . * * * fall 1984 . the storm had moved in , pounding the camp with rain . the cons in the east camp tried to take cover under the trees . lightning bolts struck in the blackened clouds and loud thunder cracked . sar left the group , saying he needed to check on his clearing . seth offered to go with him and sar nodded . they headed north from the east camp under heavy tree cover so they would n't get as wet . about fifteen minutes from the camp , close to the east island cave area , sar stopped and turned to seth . sar knelt down in the wet grass and mud and put his ear to the ground . he slapped the ground and said something that loosely translated to `` the ground is awake . '' `` i only hear the storm , sar , sorry . '' `` there is another clearing near here . i must come back . '' * * * `` sar was always talking about the dirt , '' seth said . `` he thought if he found another clearing he could grow even more vegetables for all of us . '' `` so you came to this clearing that day ? `` he came here and started crying . he said that this ground had been 'put to sleep . ' we would have no more vegetables in this location . '' `` i do n't see any more vegetables , '' torque said . `` yes , sar was correct . no more vegetables ever grew here again . so we went back to the east side of the camp and the leader of our group , his name is kyle roberts , maybe you 've heard about him ? '' `` yeah , my cellie told me to watch out for him . said he 's a slick bastard . '' `` roberts can be bad at times , real bad , yes . '' `` so what happened to sar ? '' `` sar spent the next two weeks trying to find the other clearing . he told me it was our secret and if i told the others he might never be able to find it . something about it being a hidden clearing . '' seth stopped , remember what happened next . `` go on , '' torque said . `` it was a cold fall afternoon and we all were sitting around the fire when . * * * not again . kyle pounded the dirt around the campfire . he searched until the darkness took over and he could no longer see . even by torchlight , he felt he was passing by areas he 'd seen dozens of times . he 'd even tried following the butterflies and they would n't tell him where to find sar 's secret place . kyle went into his fort and found the broken pop bottle with dirt . he dug in the ground outside and picked up a squirming nightcrawler and placed it in the dirt in the bottle . the nightcrawler moved around for a few seconds and then went still . `` where did you find the doj , sar ? he reached in and touched the dirt . it made his fingers tingle and he dusted it away on his hole-filled jeans . there was a faint foul odor to the dirt . `` where can i find more doj , sar ? seth heard the noise first . sar emerged the bushes , his eyes bulging . his stomach and hands were covered in bright red blood . he made a loud noise like a wounded dog . one of sar 's hands held his entrails wrapped over his hand like sausage and covered in blood and dirt . the other held a broken glass jar filled with dirt . whenever sar opened his mouth nothing came out but that terrible , pained noise . `` who did this to you , sar ? '' kyle roberts yelled . roberts took the jar out of sar 's hand . he ordered the other men to get anything they could get to try and stop the bleeding . several men crowded around sar and tried to stop the bleeding . `` sar , what happened ? '' when sar opened his mouth dirt fell out in clumps .

he radiated the same arrogance as valerian , yet at the same time he glowed with a bloodthirstiness that did not encompass the king . `` why do n't you fight me instead ? '' she found herself asking joachim . the words slipped from her unbidden . `` it would be my greatest pleasure to cut off your balls and feed them to you . '' a muscle ticked in joachim 's jaw . valerian 's lips twitched as he fought back a ... grin ? the two men at the table chuckled , thankfully relaxing . `` that i would like to see , '' the too-handsome-to-be-real one said . black hair , violet eyes . if she remembered correctly , his name was dorian . `` shaye will not be fighting , '' valerian said . `` as if a woman could best me , '' joachim snorted . `` well , valerian . '' he straightened , his armor clinking ominously . shall we fight , the winner made king with all rights to the woman ? '' slowly valerian eased to his feet . however , winner will remain king and keep the woman . '' `` only time will tell , '' was joachim 's satisfied reply . `` now wait just a minute . '' shaye slapped the table , frustrated when the bowls failed to shake and the food and drink failed to spill . `` you 're acting like children . there 's no reason to fight . '' valerian leveled her with a fierce gaze . at least she 'd gotten his attention . `` in this , moon , you will not have your way . my cousin is in dire need of a lesson . '' `` he 's your cousin ? '' this was worse than she 'd thought . `` there were times i wanted to kill my family , valerian , but you have to resist the temptation . '' `` you will not change your mind ? '' joachim asked him , ignoring shaye as if she were not even in the room . `` when you lose ? '' dorian and broderick snarled like animals at the insult to their king , then there was only silence . wave after terrible wave of valerian 's fury wrapped around shaye , and she was immensely grateful it was not directed at her . `` are you . each syllable seemed to be ripped from him . joachim 's cheeks colored bright , vivid red . that was not my intent . '' only slightly mollified , valerian splayed his arms , encompassing the room and everyone inside . `` we have witnesses . dorian and broderick will hereby attest to my consent to this battle - and the outcome . '' panic unfurled sharp fists inside of shaye , beating painfully . they were going to do it ; they were going to fight . the knowledge was there , churning in their eyes . `` what is your weapon of choice ? '' valerian asked his cousin , crossing his arms over his chest . `` swords , of course , '' was the reply . `` the weapon of a true warrior . '' joachim considered the idea and frowned . `` i do not want to kill you , valerian . i do not hate you . we were friends once , as children , but i was born to rule . commands should be mine to give , not receive . '' for a long while the two men simply stared at each other . finally valerian nodded . `` go to the arena , joachim . `` another command . '' joachim looked as if he meant to protest but ultimately nodded . shaye was not given time to argue . `` dorian , '' valerian said , `` gather the rest of the men . i want them to watch what happens to those who think to usurp my rule . broderick , go and prepare my gear . '' chairs skidded backward . i ca n't believe this is happening , shaye thought . she 'd been kidnapped from her mother 's wedding - shrug . she 'd been dragged underwater and into a lost city - yawn . she 'd been chosen to be the king 's mistress - could someone pass a nail file ? all of that suddenly seemed paltry , dreamlike . this battle , though ... it was pure nightmare . `` i 'm asking you not to do this , '' she said to valerian . they were alone now , no one else in sight . `` he obviously does n't want me . he just wants to hurt you and take your crown . '' valerian sat down , leaned back in the bench and regarded her intently . `` do you fear for me , moon ? '' inside , though , she trembled with fear . `` i could care less about you , actually . '' stupid of her , yes , but a lie all the same . his safety did matter to her , she admitted silently . he 'd said all those nice things to her . and he was ... sweet , damn it . `` i just do n't want to be pawned off on that joachim jerk . ''

she heard him spinning around , his footsteps soft on the carpet . emma did n't move , forcing herself to breathe quietly and praying he would n't come in . after a moment , garrett groaned . a door slammed , and a few seconds later opened again . emma heard his footsteps down the staircase , then stomping through the foyer . she turned and slumped against the door , sighing in relief . the room she was in had two diamond-shaped night-lights that illuminated a bed with a black-and-white striped bedspread . a white-and-pink egg chair sat in the corner . an avant-garde mobile hung by the window and millions of photos of girls lined the walls . emma blinked hard at the three-way mirror on the wall by the closet . she frowned at the macbook air on the desk and the flat-screen tv on the low bureau . this looked exactly like sutton 's room , but in reverse . so this was ... laurel 's room ? emma 's knees cracked as she slowly rose to her feet . she 'd never seen inside laurel 's room before-laurel always kept the door closed . emma flipped on a light at laurel 's desk and peered at the photos on the bulletin board . the picture of sutton and her friends in front of the monkey house at the zoo looked oddly familiar . so did the one of sutton , madeline , and charlotte waving cookie-batter spoons at one another . they were exactly the same photos from sutton 's room-laurel was n't even in most of them . there was something eerie about laurel 's room being such a precise knockoff of her sister 's . almost like she 's studying sutton , she thought . preparing to become her . emma tiptoed to laurel 's bed and stuck her head under the dust ruffle . besides an extra tennis racket , there were only balled-up socks and a couple of hair ties . she peeked into the closet . a slight smell of perfume and brand-new denim wafted out . while everything in sutton 's closet had its place , laurel 's blouses and dresses hung messily on their hangers , straps and sleeves dangling halfway off , jeans and t-shirts piled in the corner . shoes lay scattered on the floor . emma closed the closet again and rubbed her temples . there had to be something here . some kind of proof of what laurel had done . i hoped there was n't . i hoped she had n't done it . a single blue light on laurel 's computer monitor glowed across the room . swallowing hard , emma paced to the desk and sat down . the screen saver was a montage of sutton , laurel , and the rest of the crowd at dances , restaurants , and sleepovers . it quickly dissolved when emma touched the mouse , showing a dark desktop jammed with icons and files . most of them were labeled things like shakespeare paper or c 's party . a creak sounded outside the door . emma froze and cocked her head . a shout emerged from the party downstairs . she strained for any sounds that were close , every nerve ending tingling . slowly she breathed out . turning back to the computer , she pulled up the finder and hurriedly typed lying game into the search field . the little rainbow wheel whirled . one folder popped up , buried deep within a temporary drive . emma clicked on it several times . the computer made a sharp barking sound . the folder listed a series of videos . emma clicked on the first one , and a short clip of madeline pretending to drown in a pool appeared . it was the same video emma had seen on facebook . another video showed sutton , charlotte , and madeline on a green golf course at night , spray-painting a rock . `` a thousand bucks says laurel does n't show , '' sutton said . it was another video from sutton 's facebook page . she clicked on more videos : one of sutton calling the police and telling them she 'd heard a baby crying in a dumpster . one of madeline stealing mrs. mercer 's car while she shopped at aj 's market , the rest of the girls hiding in the bushes with the camera and giggling when mrs. mercer came out of the store and panicked . one of the girls turning the desks in a classroom backward and hanging the american flag upside down on its pole . prank after prank . it never seemed to end . i watched , too , feeling sicker and sicker . every prank we 'd pulled was cunning-and cruel . we 'd hurt a lot of people . maybe not everyone found it funny . emma clicked on the very last video , a file at the bottom of the list titled the queen goes down . a dark screen appeared .

she pointed a hand into the air , oriented it north and pushed the anemometer button on her mypodwest southwest at 12 knots . prissi figured that was enough wind to give her a good workout without exhausting herself . she flapped , kicked and was in the air . she was feeling so upbeat she considered immediately flying out over the water , but all wingers were trained to fly for at least three minutes before going anyplace where it might be difficult to land . usually , prissi was intrepid , but , with her shoulder having popped twice lately , she decided to be cautious . winging was no different than swimming . a muscle pull , a charley horse , low blood sugar or volatile weather , and what should have been fun , could turn life-threatening in an instant . prissi dropped her right shoulder , half tucked that wing and veered south . she climbed to just over twenty meters and followed the levee . when the waters around new york first had begun to rise , francis phange , a senator from massachusetts and leader of the ecoists caucus , had managed to stall federal permitting by the environmental projection agency to the army corps of engineering to construct a levee around the entire island of manhattan . his argument , and that of his party , had been that since it was big business that had caused , or accelerated global warming and it was big business that had used its political clout to delay taking action against gw until it was too late , then it was big business that should suffer the consequences . big business needed to be taught a lesson . since the lesson was to be taught to the arrogant people of new york , the representatives of many of the big ag and big service states joined forces with phange . even after the permits finally were issued , phange and his allies managed to stall federal funding . the young governor of new york , dewitt clinton , the mayor , and a coterie of major new york city business leaders tried to put together a regional coalition to fund the rescue project , but both new jersey and connecticut saw the situation as an opportunity , after two hundred fifty years , to get out from under gothams shadow . after a ten-year battle , the federal government did provide funding , but the enabling legislation specified that the levee was not to extend south of houston street . wall street was to be sacrificed to expiate the capitalist pride and greed that had cost the country years of economic well-being during the great foreclosure exposure of 2008-2016 . since it was just after the morning rush hour , prissi was one of the few wingers in the air along the fdr . of those who were flying , almost all were going uptown . as she flew further south toward houston street , the buildings along the levee began to be more rundown . piles of trash dotted the curbs . the people below her who were walking on the levee or riding their bikes seemed to be mostly from the southern hemisphere . once she flew past where the levee turned west along houston street , prissi entered a twilight area of the city . all of the buildings south of the levee had been declared uninhabitable more than forty years before ; however from the number of small boats in the streets and the number of vegetable gardens and grills on the roofs , it was obvious the area in what once had been called little italy and the bowery , still had lots of people living above the water line , although below the poverty line . a few blocks further south , the number of boats shrank and the shorter buildings canted in all directions as a result of the water-soaked land beneath them . the taller ones , since they had been more valuable at the time , had been interlaced together with steel girders and guy wires as a temporary measure while the political battles had been fought . now , decades later , the steel beams holding them together were a rusted web . every couple of months an adventurous , usually newly fledged , winger , would be killed trying to nightfly through the maze of corroded steel . prissi herself had felt a tug to try her skills in that deadly puzzle , but if something happenedshe was hurt or stopped by a housing hawk overflying the ruinsshe would get her wings clipped until she was twenty-one . even though she had only been flying for a year , the young winger could not imagine going back to being earth-bound . prissi raised her chin , dropped her feet and flew toward a sun clawing its way up a ladder of clouds in the eastern sky . at seventy-five meters the air was appreciably colderher mypod displayed an effective air temperature of 42 . when eats got below forty , wingers had to be extra careful of becoming exhausted . the girl climbed until she was higher than most of the decrepit ruins along the edge of the island . she spread her wings as far as she could , then tilted them slightly forward to get more lift . as she went into a sustained glide , she opened her mouth wide and shouted , freeieekin fenomenal !

*** waiting behind a cup of coffee , cigarette ready behind my ear , certain id see something to prevent my boarding the bus , i watched the other passengers all stand , form a line , have their tickets checked , the clump of them tottering with their luggage out under the long awning where the buses lulled , coloured the window outside a stale urine tone of exhaust . i didnt notice anybody else who seemed to be keeping an eye on things , nor did i notice anybody paying me particular mind , which i was worried about because even though i tried i couldnt keep my eyes off of the boarding area , couldnt just glimpse it now and again , i lapped it incessantly , poked and poked and poked . the area emptied , the passengers were all seated , the driver was finishing out his cigarette with the others . i saw nobody watching . -liar , i whispered , but didnt know if i really thought he was . montgomery couldve wanted me on the bus , couldve wanted one more little moment . it could be , i thought , this was how id finally shook him off . i should go find some dumpster to hide behind , somewhere in the gut of the city , ride the metro , get lost , see if i could last a week that way . futile , futile . if i was supposed to be on the bus , if that was what montgomery had told the authorities to expect , any search for me , when it turned out id never boarded , would begin with the depot . it wouldnt be difficult to trace me , especially if i never left the city . he likely wanted me to have second thoughts , run , reduced to a child hiding from the monster under the bed under the bedcovers . just something else he could have over me , that id just huddled , coward , pathetic , some cur without presence enough to run from his hangman , the cell door left wide open since the sentence had first been pronounced . i tried to goad myself into it . -run run runrunrunrunrun , i whispered , tucking the cigarette back in the packet , taking it back out , putting it to my lips , taking it in my fingers , rolling in around , pinching first one end then the other end then the first end then the other end . *** grey , braying grey when i stepped out of the depot , the white of the circular cement leading to the long steps down to the sidewalk matching the gaze of the filtered sneer of sunlight down on it . i was smoking , moving to the stairs when i happened to notice someone in front of me , a look of concern , of sick , morbid disgust mingled with confusion , uncertainty crossing their face . another person shared the expression . a half circle of people reaching the top of the stairs all slowed , took sidesteps , eyes transfixed on some point behind me . the glare was worse with the glass of the depot redoubling it . my eyes shut almost entirely , crept open the sliver enough to make out the awkward , hobbled form of montgomery making his way in my direction . eyes adjusting , i saw that his one leg was limp , a slop of blood trailed along behind him , the fabric of his pants loose , draggling under his feet , sloshing the blood in short zigzags like mop water . there seemed to be a deep wound under the shirt over his left side , that whole weight of blubber seemed sagging , a droop compared to the thick waste of his other side . he held one hand out in front of him , like a tray , it gripped some gore , i couldnt make out what , something pulpy , jittery with the unsteady of his arm . he approached me and i didnt move . when he was near enough , a sudden snarl , he rubbed whatever it was in his hand in my face , bloody , rank of long decay , screwing his hand as though to drive it though me , make certain i was stained , enough force that i fell backward , desperately rubbing at my face , slapping my hands around . i got to a knee , trying to force down the vomit that was rising and it was then i made out that he was screaming , high pitched , rusted yarls , screaming and shaking where he stood , pointing at me , stabs of pointing at me with each repetition of his yelling thats kaspar thats kaspar thats kaspar thats kaspar thats kaspar thats kaspar thats kaspar thats kaspar thats kaspar thats kaspar thats kaspar thats kaspar thats kaspar thats kaspar thats kaspar thats kaspar thats kaspar . in horror , i wheeled away from the grotesque of him , the gibbering , infantile giddy of his slathering mouth , his jabbing my name out at me , everyone around stock still , dumbfounded . i jiggled my head left and right , after one step unable to move in any direction . two men who mustve been struggling through the crowd in the direction of the depot finally got to the front of the cluster of bodies , stopped , stared at montgomery , their faces livid , breathing heavy from their effort . i could see the moment they registered what the words out of his mouth were , the click of reason , the irreversible finality of it .

all i wanted to do was live , and she 'd taken that away . she stared at me for a few more seconds , and there was something like pity in her face . there but for the grace of god ... it made my stomach hurt with the intensity of my fury . you tried to steal my life away , and you 've failed . i turned to david , willing him to believe me . `` david , if you kill me , she wins . the demon wins . '' i was waiting when she 'd pull the old 'you 're the bad twin ' on us . who do you think 's going to believe you this time ? i 've got my memories back . you 're nothing but a cheap copy . '' that was an echo of what i 'd been thinking . either she could read my thoughts-icky , but possible-or her mind simply worked the same way . if she 'd taken on my memories , my experiences that completely , if she could fool david and lewis , then maybe she really had become me , as much as a demon could . that made my job a hell of a lot harder , because she was n't faking . as venna had warned , she really was me , in all the ways that would count . i looked desperately at lewis , at david . what if you 've got the evil twin standing right there ? what if i 'm the one she stole everything away from ? kill me , and you 'll never be able to fix that ; it 'll be too late- '' evil twin snorted , exchanged a wry look with david , and walked away , arms folded . heading calmly back for the suv . you have to know that 's not me ! '' that earned me nothing . evil twin opened the passenger-side door of the truck and climbed in , then slammed the door . lewis and david exchanged another one of those unreadable looks . god , i 'd never realized how scary it was from this end , faced with these extremely competent people . how desperate it was to be on the losing side . she 's going to pull it off . she 's going to have david , live my life , and be happy until she pulls off whatever evil plan she 's concocted , and there 's not a goddamn thing i can do about it . i hated losing . wind whipped across me , blinding me with grit and a mouthful of black smoke from the still-smoldering wreck of my car . `` then just get it over with , '' i choked . `` if you 've got the guts , just do it . '' the suv 's engine started up , and it drove away , slowly winding around the trees . taking my future with it . `` we 're not going to kill you , '' lewis said with an eerie amount of calm . `` we could n't , could we ? if you 're a demon , you 'd just assume another form . the only way to destroy a demon without sacrificing a djinn is with another demon . '' `` guess you do n't have one of those handy , '' i said , and closed my eyes in exhausted relief . when i opened them , david , expressionless , was taking a sealed bottle out of his coat . there was red wax around the stopper , and an ancient-looking seal dangling from a complicated knot of ribbons . the knee in my back dug in harder when i tried to raise up , driving me flat and helpless . i struggled to reach for power , but whatever they 'd done to me up on the aetheric was holding fast . i could n't move the weather , or fire , and when i tried to grab for the slow throb of energy in the earth , something slapped me back with stunning force . i 'd recognized the handprint of the slap . david , you ca n't . he walked toward me , put a hand in between my shoulder blades , and nodded to lewis to let go . the relief of the pressure coming off my back did n't last , because david 's hand might not have been as heavy , but it was just as effective in restraining me . `` this bottle contains a djinn , '' he said . `` a djinn infected with a demon . under normal circumstances the demon would n't migrate back to a human , but you 're different . demons will destroy each other by preference . if there 's any good news , it 's that by destroying you , we 're going to save a djinn 's life . '' `` david , no ! i could see it in his eyes , in the fierce , focused determination on his face . i dropped all my defenses , and let him see me as vulnerable as i really was . his lips thinned , and he flinched a little . `` i wish you did n't look so much like her . ''

but then she had to show up in a bloodred dress , looking like she just stepped off the pages of a hot-rod magazine , with that sweater-vest-wearing douche trailing behind her like a lost dog . she was just too much for me to handle at the moment . those endless legs and bright-red lips had my head going to all kinds of places it should n't . she was there with a date , so i walked away in the middle of whatever rowdy was trying to tell me , and headed to the band room backstage . the rest of the guys were warming up and getting ready , but the idea of going onstage while i felt so volatile made something inside me snap . i grabbed the closest thing to me-a bottle of whiskey i had been drinking from earlier-and chucked it against the wall . the guys all stopped what they were doing and watched me with curious and careful eyes . i felt like i was about to fly apart into a million pieces , so i just barked , `` not right now ! '' and decided to barricade myself in the bathroom until i managed to pull it together . i was breathing hard and i could see how wild my dark eyes looked in the mirror . i was just about to splash cold water on my face to try to get some level of control back , when i heard my name , spoken in a soft southern drawl , from the other side of the door . i was going to growl at her to leave me alone , but i did n't get a chance , because she pulled the door open and met my gaze in the mirror . all i could do was stare at her while everything swirling under the surface suddenly broke through . i heard her ask me what was wrong , and was aware that i demanded to know what she was thinking by bringing that guy here . but all of it was white noise against the roar of something far louder and far more powerful thrumming in my heated blood . i was n't aware of moving toward her . i was n't aware of pushing her up against the door with the entire length of my body . i was n't aware of tangling her silky dark hair around my fingers and getting it caught up in my rings . i heard her gasp when my tongue ring hit the warm center of her mouth . i was going to pull away , going to apologize over and over again and tell her it had just been a shitty week , but before i could , she wrapped her arms around my neck and i felt any resistance she had , any control i retained , melt away under a soft little murmur of pleasure . we were exactly at the right height for me to get my knee between her amazing legs and press even more fully against her , as she collapsed against the door behind her . she tasted like wine and invitation and i was pretty sure both things were going to my head . when she whispered my name , any rational thought that i should n't be touching this girl in this way , especially not in a backstage bathroom , went out the window . the fingers of one of her hands moved from my neck and crawled down the back of my t-shirt . even though it felt better than anything i could remember in a long time , to be pressed head to toe against her was n't enough , so i let go of her hair and moved my hands under the hem of her poufy skirt . gripping her toned thigh , i expected more resistance when i wrapped it around my waist and trailed my eager fingers up to the part of her i had no business at all being anywhere near . it was a short trip met with zero resistance and little gasps of surprise . i saw her amber eyes get wide , but instead of asking me to stop or telling me to go to hell , she whispered my name . i felt the edge of her fingers dig into the base of my spine , right above my ass . we were eye to eye , foreheads almost touching , and i could see every single reaction she had to my touch shimmering in those liquid depths . when i got my fingers under the edge of her lace panties , i saw something flare there that made my already hard dick get even harder . i knew it sure as hell was n't very comfortable . she shivered , and i did n't know if it was from the press of the metal on my fingers against her bare skin or because i had her pinned and exposed and was about to touch her in ways i had only dreamed of . either way , her other hand tightened almost painfully in my tousled hair and her bright eyes fell to half-mast . she tugged my head closer , so our mouths were lined up and she kissed me . i got inside all her wet heat , her mouth and more , and swore because she was hot and slippery and felt like molten fire against both my tongue and my questing fingers . i leaned down so that my forearm was braced on the door above her head , and settled even more fully into her . my tongue ring clicked against her teeth and i pulled away to suck on the pulse that was rapidly fluttering right below her ear . her hands were tense in my hair and on my skin .

if that were to happen , we were all dead . nick drew his kukri , and cutty unsheathed his trusty machetes , one in each hand . boyd was using his silenced setup , as mentionedcrowbar for me , baseball bat for kylee , and a broken piece of fencing shaped into a spear for chalmers . that left seth . we all stared at him blankly as he obliviously sized up the twenty-plus dead ahead of us in the streets . finally catching his attention , he said to us , what ? im good , as he clanged his two metal gauntlets together . whatever works for ya , dude . kylee spoke the obvious , saying , all right . we go quickly and quietly . find don and lilly and anyone else who might be around . well fall back to the north after we figure out where all the survivors are hiding . chalmers asked nick , you guys know a back way into your casino . ill assume gino , lilly , and the others are probably holed up in there . nick nodded , pointing slightly to his left , and said , double doors in the alley . it takes you right into the bar by the casino floor . we can take the stairs across from the craps tables to the rooms . cutty told him , dats whassup . yall hold the alley and keep da bernies from gettin to those doors . he pointed to chalmers and me . yall come wit me to the doors , and we gon get da floor clear . nods from everyone . we snaked our way along the fronts of the buildings to the alleyway and broke left , leaving boyd , seth , nick , and kylee crouched at its mouth on guard detail . the dead were everywhere . the entire strip stunk of decay , and the air was filled with flies . birds circled overhead in a huge , black cloud , awaiting their turn to feed . we hit the double doors and made ready . the very moment cutty swung them open , we were bombarded with the growls and wails of the dead . the entire casino floor was crowded with them . chalmers wretched , gagging at the sight of ginos skeletal remains lying in a pool of jellied blood and surrounded by the feasting dead . we heard our lil lilly scream for help from across the room , though i had to strain my eyes to see her . over my shoulder i heard gunfire in the streets , but the alleyway held . cutty entered the room and slashed into two of them , brutally decapitating one altogether . the other fell with a huge split down the center of its head . cutty shouted to lilly , hang on , baby girl ! lilly was on the opposite side of the room , trapped . she had somehow managed to climb up onto the bar and then onto a giant liquor shelf that hung behind it . she cried out , help me ! i dont have any bullets left ! dont let them get me ! the dead at the bar were nearly seven deep and lined all along its length . they reached and clawed at her , leaving her shivering and alone mere inches from their grasp . there were just so many of themwell over fifty it had to be . she was just frozen there , screaming , and none of us knew how long she had been there , left to sit , petrified , waiting for help that might not even show up . i swung my crowbar into a group on the casino floor that had finally noticed us . thanks to chalmers stepping up to help , we were able to down four , but they just kept coming . cutty swung wildly at anything within arms reach , but he was getting swamped . he just pressed on and on , further into the group , leaving a trail of limbs and blood behind him . we tried to hold the position in the doorway , but all i could focus on was lillys screams . they just kept coming i lost count as the floor piled with bodies . i heard cutty shout to her , throw the bottles , lilly ! throw all of em ! im comin , baby girl ! she complied and began throwing the liquor bottles at the dead below her . they shattered , littering the floor with glass and soaking everything as they crashed open . her crying never stopped . hurry , guys . cutty roared as he shrugged off one that grasped his arm , then kicked it into some others . as he reached back to swing down and finish it , two of them latched onto his blade , pulling his arm unnaturally backwards . he shrieked in pain as the teeth tore into his flesh , spraying bright-red blood into the air . he growled angrily and dropped both of his machetes . grabbing the two by their stringy hair , he smashed their heads together so hard that his hands touched . lilly cried out , no , cutty ! he called back to her , it aint nothin , baby girl ! i gotchu !

jeff guessed that they must be planning to ambush them one by one as they carried the loot to the boats and he quickly realized his best bet was to ambush the ambushers and try to alert the crews of the wench and the crow as to what was happening . jeff was hopeful that jenny was safely ashore and she too had figured out captain craigs plan . jeff made his way slowly through the trees , following the lights and sounds coming from the town a short distance ahead . somewhere here he expected to find one or more of craigs men lying in wait for the raiding party to pass by . then he saw him . crouched down in the shadows just inside the trees along the path to the beach was a man with his sword drawn . jeff scanned the area carefully looking for others . with no other men in sight , jeff slowly crept forward and took a position behind a tree about 20 feet from the man . jeff peeked out from behind the tree and watched the man intently . voices from the path made jeff and his quarry both sink back into the shadows . craig and coxen were once again arguing loudly . ye have gone soft , coxen ! me men just be havin a little fun and ye want to be guardian o the peasants . craig , your men are as reckless and stupid as you are . we had to fight much longer and harder tonight than we should have because you and your men couldnt leave the villagers alone . instead of a handful of drunk soldiers , we wound up fighting the whole town ! and we won and now be takin all of value this shithole has , not settling for merely a bit o spanish payroll and a silver tea set from the governors house . what of value did you steal from those people ? a bit of rum , some worthless jewelry ? coxen demanded . aye , and the wenches be most entertainin , or at least would ha been if ye an yer men had not interfered ! craig answered . you and your men are barbarians , craig ! aye , but we be fun barbarians ! when did ye become such an old wench , coxen ? jeff watched the men through the trees . as the captains voices faded down the path , a line of men loaded down with crates and sacks followed them . jeff could see the man in the trees shifting his weight , apparently to ready himself to pick off the last man in line . jeff crept forward slightly and prepared himself to close the distance quickly when the man made his move . as jeff saw the last man in the line pass by , the man in the trees slipped out onto the path and jeff quickly followed . the would-be ambusher crept forward with his sword poised to attack , but jeff struck first , grabbing the man by the hair and ripping his sword across his throat from behind . the man made a slight gurgling noise as he fell to the ground . the other stevens , who had been the target of the ambush , continued down the path toward the beach , apparently none the wiser . just then , another of craigs ambush party emerged from the trees on the other side of the path and charged at jeff . jeff raised his sword to defend himself , but the man suddenly lurched forward and fell face-first at his feet . a large knife protruded from between the mans shoulder blades and jeff looked up to see jenny smiling at him from the trees . nice shot ! he whispered to her as she stepped forward and retrieved her knife . come on , we need to catch up to the line ! he and jenny took off running down the path . as they rounded a curve , they could see another of craigs men stepping out of the trees behind the other stevens . the sound rang out as jeff stepped on a small branch lying on the path and the would-be ambusher spun around with his sword at the ready . ill take him . you stay with the line ! jeff said as he raised his sword and ran directly at the man . jenny ran past them as the two mens swords clanged together between them . jeff and his opponent circled each other . down the path , there was shouting followed by an exchange of several gunshots . jeff screamed to himself . but his worry over her safety would have to wait . his opponent suddenly advanced on him , slicing hard at him repeatedly , but jeffs training served him well and he was able to parry the blows . his opponent stepped back , apparently surprised by jeffs skill . not bad , mate . i should like to test ye some more , but im afraid i havent the time , he said as he pulled his flintlock and leveled it at jeff . jeff flinched as the shot rang in his ears , and he searched his body for the pain of the wound , but there was none . the man in front of him collapsed on the ground and jeff looked up to see the other stevens standing just down the path holding a smoking flintlock . jeff exclaimed with relief . think nothing o it mr. greene . i owe ye a debt of thanks fer havin me back up the path .

her brows came down fast . you have a suspicious mind ! and you havent denied a thing . kara crossed her arms over her chest . then she tipped her head to one side . besides , did you see his eyes light up ? did you hear what he said about not remembering the last time he bothered to celebrate christmas with his father ? thats not what he saidhe said he couldnt remember the last time he got a tree , maya corrected . so how do you celebrate christmas without a tree ? hes lonely , maya . yeah , wellmaybe . behind her , caleb said , curious about what ? kara gasped and whirled on him . he only grinned , gave her a mischievous wink , and looked past her to maya . but you can finish your coffee first . give it time to warm up . ill take the coffee with me , she said . she drew a breath , preparing herself for the inevitable awkward moment when she was forced to get her bulk up out of a chair . but before she could even begin , caleb was there . he slid one arm behind the small of her back , steadied her with the other and helped her up so easily anyone would have thought she must be tiny . she liked it and that scared her . chapter 9 caleb caught himself sliding into a mire of sentimentality more than once on that drive to the small redbrick prenatal clinic in tucker lake , fifteen miles the other side of big falls . it was a dangerous game he was playing out here . getting emotionally involved with the babiesinsinuating himself into the family and into mayas life before even knew for sure that he was the father , but hell , they were twins . his own father had been a twin , too . but , like calebs own twin , his uncle had been stillborn . it terrified him to think of that . it also verified that these children were his . maybe not totally , and not legally , but it was all the proof he needed . exactly what he did want was as elusive as the meaning of life on earth . what to do next was a question he couldnt begin to figure out . it seemed all he could do was stumble through , one step at a time . if it turned out that maya was lying to him , then he was setting himself up for a big fall . the problem was , she wasnt lying to him . he might be a gullible idiot , but he justbelieved her . maybe because he wanted to believe her , an even scarier thought . he was glad , because being in the waiting room surrounded by swollen-bellied women and nervous-looking men made him feel like a fraud . as if he didnt belong . as if they could take one look at him and tell he was an outsider , not a real partner to the mother of his kid . come on in , maya , a nurse said , only moments after they had taken seats in the waiting room . caleb helped maya to her feet and held her arm as they were led to a small exam room . maya seemed to know the drill by heart . she walked in , stepped on the scale , then used a small stepping stool to get up onto the exam table . she lay back , and the nurse whipped out a tape measure and peeled mayas blouse back and leggings downward to measure her belly . the nurse asked cheerfully . caleb stared at the swollen mound of pink flesh underneath mayas blouse . her belly button was turned inside out . none , maya said . stop staring , caleb . grinning , the nurse jotted a note and proceeded to take mayas blood pressure , then her pulse , simultaneously shooting glances at caleb every once in a while . curious , pointed glances , but she didnt ask . he didnt know how much to say , so he said nothing at all . when she finished , she said , the doctor will be in soon , and headed out the door . maya remained lying down on the exam table , although she did rearrange her blouse . he assumed it was probably too much effort to get up . caleb paced and looked around the room . baby scales , baby pictures on the wall . a chart denoting the phases of labor , which he found himself studying intently . sit down , maya said . he sent her a sheepish grin and sat down , but the moment his buttocks touched the chair , the door opened , so he shot back up again . fortyish , red-headed and female . there were silver frames on her oval glasses and a ready smile on her lips . how are those babies doing this week , hmm ? kicking up a storm , dr. sheila , maya said . thats the way we like em . she turned to caleb , offered a hand . im sheila stone , mayas ob-gyn , she said . good to meet you , doctor . im caleber.cain . maya shot him a look he couldnt read .

`` now there are a couple of fine examples of men who could get your creativity flowing . '' rubi 's voice pulled lexi 's attention from the glass doors leading into the terminal . she followed rubi 's gaze to the truck stopped in front of the ferrari-big , dark gray , and dirty . lexi 's blood stirred without even looking at the men . she knew exactly what kind of guys drove those trucks . then her gaze traveled over the two fine male specimens on opposite sides of the truck , talking over the bed . both built as rugged and sexy as that vehicle . the one on the driver 's side was in his midtwenties . golden , sloppy hair sticking out from under a baseball cap . tank top and cargo shorts showing off tanned muscles . just about six foot . it was the other man who set lexi 's body all out of balance . the one on the passenger 's side , who looked about lexi 's age . his hair almost black and too long . his face dirtied with a couple of days ' worth of scruff . his tattered duffle sat in the truck bed near his hand , and his long legs filled out torn black jeans ending in scuffed black boots . the finishing touch-lighter fluid on a struck match-his muscled torso was covered in the sexiest black leather motorcycle racing jacket she 'd ever seen . `` that 's a brutale jacket , '' rubi murmured , referencing the italian motorcycle company . she grinned at lexi . `` there 's a conversation starter for you . '' `` talk about a fashion statement . '' she and lexi had modeled in venice for a short time , which was where lexi had been introduced to the fine leather sport jacket . kinda out of place with the ratty duffle and torn jeans ... `` maybe he won it , '' rubi said as if her thoughts were along the same lines . `` you know , in a race . or maybe he 's a model for the company . maybe- '' `` maybe you should stop guessing . '' the boots were for motorcycle riding too . she knew all about the habits and hobbies of boys from the dark side . lexi lifted her brows and released a long , slow sigh without taking her eyes off biker boy . `` he 's just ... '' she could n't find words in the lust heating her blood , the desire zapping new connections between cells all over her body . rubi 's laugh drew the men 's gazes . their heads turned lazily , mirroring each other 's movement in a way that reminded lexi of the way she and rubi sometimes mirrored each other . but they were completely opposite , again like lexi and rubi . golden boy all light and smiles . biker boy all shadows and intensity . golden boy grinned at rubi . `` looks like someone 's got too much money to play with . '' `` i 'll share , '' rubi called back , raising her voice to be heard over the traffic and noise around them . `` as soon as she gets out , i 'll have a spare seat . wan na ride ? '' he laughed , the sound low and husky . `` sorry , sweetheart , i 'm taken . '' lexi only heard the exchange but saw none of it . biker boy had locked on to her with an awareness that made all the hustle of the airport fade . did n't ... anything . he just gazed at her with the kind of stare that heated her insides until she wanted to start shedding clothing and made her envision the crazy , sexual things she 'd witnessed earlier at stilettos . she could n't see the color of his eyes , only that they were lined in lashes as dark as his hair . his face was just ... gorgeous , with hard lines and perfect angles . but he was n't pretty . definitely rugged . her gaze roamed and roamed , trying to memorize him . words like intense , deep , and complicated came to mind-not descriptive at all-but all ways she would have described him . `` looks like someone 's zeroed in on you , '' rubi said quietly beside her . `` get your ass out of this car , girl . he 's hotter than nuclear fusion . `` i ... ca n't breathe , '' she said without breaking eye contact with biker boy . rubi laughed again , making lexi smile . the man 's lids grew heavy . his tongue slid over his bottom lip , and lexi 's lungs seized to hold back a moan . it had definitely been too long . `` dude , '' golden boy called across the truck to his friend . `` hel-lo , dude . did i just waste my breath ? '' biker boy 's long lashes fluttered like he 'd come out of a trance . he turned away from lexi , focusing on the other man , who said something else lexi could n't hear and shook his head . `` i 'm rubi russo . ''

so , if she stayed in michigan , only two destinations made sense : rule or oren . the dead boy from oren had her whistle , which meant ellie had been there . while she still might be , the chances of stumbling on one little girl were ten trillion to one . which left rule , a place that felt radioactive . but finn has wolf . he has penny and peter . i ca n't just let that go . `` oh , do n't be crazy , alex . you 're not batman . '' on the floor , snugged against her left leg , the wolfdog 's ears pricked . she asked the animal . `` rescue them so they starve , or i have to shoot them to protect myself or , say , ellie ? if it came down to a choice between wolf and tom , i 'd pick tom . i 'm not saying it would be easy , and it feels wrong because wolf is ... in-between , just like me , '' she finished in a whisper , definitely not understanding why her eyes stung . oh , stop feeling sorry for yourself . she rested a cheek on her knees . yet wolf was different now . in the beginning , she 'd been only food ; he 'd chowed down on a slice of her shoulder , for god 's sake . but then wolf saved her from spider , kept her off-menu ; rescued her from the mine and then acne . they 'd worked together to fight finn 's men before he 'd made her leave him behind and save herself . wolf cared about her . it was in what he did , and his scent . `` and i care what happens to him , '' she said , feeling the ooze of a tear and a weird hollowness in her chest . so , fine , all right , she was evil and maybe brainwashed , and this definitely was n't love ... was it ? no , of course not , but she cared , okay ? but wolf still has to eat . it was n't as if wolf was suddenly going to go vegan . yes , he cared for her and she was pretty sure he would never hurt her now . that kind of amnesty might also extend to the people she cared about . for wolf to live , though , he had to eat . `` i do n't know what 's right , '' she said to the wolfdog . `` maybe it 's smarter to kill wolf , but it would be like putting a gun to tom 's head , or chris 's . '' was n't that exactly what tom wanted her to do if he changed ? tom had killed jim , his friend , to save her and ellie . at the last second , if there was no other choice , she probably would . `` but maybe we 're not there yet . and what if wolf can come back ? then i have to do something . i ca n't just leave him with finn . penny ... she was n't sure what to do with her . but there was peter , too , caught in between like her and wolf . whatever finn had done to him might also be undone , eventually . so , go to rule ? see if she picked up wolf 's scent ? it was insane , but with the wolfdog , she might pull it off . as long as she did n't succumb to the push-push go-go ... `` you know what i ca n't figure out ? '' she asked the wolfdog . `` what that whole thing was . like the monster either grabbed on to or got grabbed by finn , then jerked me along for the ride . i hopped . first i land behind one set of eyes and then a whole bunch of other eyes , and then i jump to someone else , further ahead . '' `` know what it reminds me of ? '' at the wolfdog 's look-no , really , tell me-she said , `` high school bio . '' the wolfdog cocked its head . `` how the brain works and cells talk to each other . '' by that point in bio , the monster had shown itself , too , and she became somewhat of an expert . `` the brain 's an electrical system mediated by chemicals . but here 's the thing , '' she said to the wolfdog . she was starting to get a little excited now ; felt she was onto something . `` the brain has tons of synapses , like more than the stars in the milky way . even an electrical impulse would be too slow on its own for everything to work together the way it should . so the impulse has to hop . it jumps like a bunny from node to node along an axon , and that speeds everything up . '' so what if finn was doing that ? `` like an out-of-body thing . a signal leapfrogging from mind to mind . only it ca n't be a straight line . too inefficient . '' and would n't the signal decay ?

until now , darins fears had mostly been for his mother , alone somewhere with her sinister kidnapper ; but now his alarm deepened . he must get away from here and find etaine before it was too late . gentlemen , listen to me , i beg you ! i do not know what wrongs have been committed against you , but i am innocent . theres an impostor out there riding around in my armour . ive seen him myself . eleven faces in the glow of the fire turned in his direction . the man who had taken his sword got to his feet and came over to him . are you really the son of lord karman ? he asked , looking him in the face . i am sir darin of the western forest , made knight by the king himself ! and you said it yourselfanyone can ride out carrying another mans shield . some of the others had gathered round . dont listen to him , gwyllym ! said the one with the scarred forehead . but i saw your face quite clearly , if only for a moment , gwyllym said . my wife got a much better look at him when he was threatening her and my father , before i arrived on the scene . well wait until she sees him before deciding what to do next . whats that youre saying ? said a sleepy voice from the edge of the clearing . weve got the young knight we think did it , my love , gwyllym answered . one of the two sleepers darin had noticed earliera womanpushed aside her blanket and draped it over the person lying by her side . she got up and joined gwyllym . she was plump and pretty-faced . lachlyn held the torch high while she scrutinized the captive . he may look young and handsome now , but i swear there was an evil glint in his eye when he jeered at your father and me after setting fire to the sheds . and the things he said to us ! she shuddered and pressed herself up closer to her husband . gwyllym put his arm around her waist . the man with the scar on his forehead looked around the company . you seeshe recognizes him . so will carricks wife and daughters , if they ever find the courage to come out of that room theyve locked themselves in ! he turned to darin and leered at him . its bad enough torching peoples property , but anyone who threatens our women winds up at the end of a rope . darins heart sank . asked a peevish voice . it was the second person who had been asleep under the blankets , an old man . he got up and walked unsteadily towards the others . mind the fire , father , said gwyllym . dont fuss ! i can tell where the fire is . with a start , darin recognized the blind man he had helped against the robbers the day before the tournament , more than a year ago . greetings , sir , he said . the last time we met , you may remember , we had a merry time of it together rounding up your pig . the old mans jaw dropped . young sir ! a broad smile spread across his face and he turned his blind eyes towards gwyllym and the rest . this is the young fellow who helped me the last time i was bothered by ruffians . ill warrant hes here to help again . but father , this is the man who burnt our sheds and drove off the animals , said gwyllyms wife . but i saw him as clear as i see him now i saw him too , father , gwyllym said . twas only a glance , but this is the same face , unless my eyes deceive me . of course your eyes deceive you ! you folksyour eyes are always deceiving you . just think of all the things carrick claims to have seen when hes drunk too much mead . some of the farmers gave a chuckle at this . the old man turned to face them . i dont trust your eyes half as much as i trust my own ears . i never forget a voice , you all know that . you can try disguising the way you speak , but it will never fool me . he jerked a thumb in darins direction . this young man is not the blackguard who bothered us that dayand thats all there is to it . chapter 21 everyone looked at darin . what ive been trying to tell you is the truth , he said . there really is an impostor out there , my exact double in every way . my friend stella thinks it is all the work of an enchantress who wants to hurt my family . the worst thing is hes kidnapped my mother . dont you see , i must ride after them , theres no time to lose ! who is stella ? asked lachlyn . darin hesitated . she helped me once . she is of the faerie race and knows about these things . the man with the scarred head snorted . enchantresses ! he looked at gwyllym . as for your father , hes mistaken .

he died to prevent an undead vampire from binding me to him ... i do n't remember it , but i know he did . and i still ... '' i closed my eyes , a lump in my throat . `` i still miss him , '' i said miserably . i looked at marshal , needing to see what he thought . his face was carefully blank of expression . he said , and i nodded , looking away . `` i think i understand , '' he said as he reached to touch my shoulder , and guilt tweaked through me as i soaked in the support radiating from him . `` i 'm really sorry about your boyfriend . um ... i did n't know . i should have called before coming over . i 'll just , uh , go . '' his hand slipped away , and my head came up . `` marshal , '' i said , reaching to take his sleeve , and he stopped . i let go , then glanced behind me at the empty church , then back to him . i loved kisten , but i had to try to start living again . the pain would ebb only if i pushed it out with something good . marshal patiently waited , and i took a deep breath . `` i 'd like to see you again , '' i said , miserable . i mean , i really ca n't handle having a boyfriend right now , but i 've got to get out of this church . his eyes widened , and i blurted , `` never mind . '' `` to be honest , i 'm not looking for a girlfriend either . '' i kind of doubted that , but i nodded , grateful he pretended to understand . `` there used to be a place by the waterfront that had really good pizza , '' he offered . `` piscary 's ? '' not kisten 's old dance club . `` uh , it 's closed , '' i said , which was the truth . the elaborate apartments underground were now the property of rynn cormel . and since he was n't a partier , he had gutted the upper rooms and turned them into a day residence for his living guests and staff . but it still had one hell of a kitchen . or so ivy said . weight shifting to one foot , marshal frowned in thought . `` do n't the howlers have an exhibition game this week ? i have n't seen them play in years . '' `` i 'm banned , '' i said , and he looked at me as if he thought i was joking . `` from the howlers ? '' `` maybe we could just have lunch or something . '' `` okay , '' i said slowly , not knowing if i could actually do this . his smile widened and he opened the door . `` i have that interview tomorrow , but i was going to go look at some apartments before that . if i treat you to coffee , will you tell me which ones are overcharging me ? unless you 're working ... '' `` two days before halloween ? '' i clasped my arms about me in the sudden chill . i had n't expected to do anything this soon , and now i was having second thoughts . i thought of backing out on the excuse of needing to track down a demon summoner before sundown tomorrow , but i had to give my sources time to work . i stunk at research , and i knew enough people who enjoyed it to pass it off on them . `` sure , '' i reluctantly said . it was coffee . `` perfect , '' he said , and i froze when he eased forward . before it could become a hug , or worse , a kiss , i stuck out my hand . marshal tried to make his shift to my hand natural , but it was kind of obvious , and his fingers slipped from mine almost immediately . embarrassed by my guilt and misery , i looked down . `` i 'm sorry you 're still hurting , '' he said sincerely as he stepped back onto the stoop . the light from the sign above the door made shadows on him . his eyes , when i met them , held a soft emotion , black from the low light , nothing more . about noon ? '' i nodded as i tried to think of something to say - but my mind was empty . marshal smiled one last time before taking the steps lightly and heading for the new-model , chrome-plated sport utility at the curb . numb , i backed up into the church , my shoulder thumping painfully into the doorjamb and startling me back into reality . heartache swelled as i shut the door and leaned back against it to stare into the sanctuary . i had to start living again , even if it killed me . chapter five the soft click of teeth on the knob of my bedroom door stirred me , but it was n't until a wet nose snuffled in my ear that i truly woke up , with a pulse of adrenaline that was better than chugging three cups of coffee . i exclaimed , jerking upright and scooting back to the headboard , my covers pulled to my neck .

stopping at a local cafe , i bought a muffin and orange juice , then made my way over to the park across the street . slipping off my shoes , i sat directly on the plush grass with my legs outstretched in front of me . lifting my face , i took in the warm sun and sighed in bliss . i was beginning to relax again . which brings us to now . my body hums in awareness . awareness that i 'm being watched . my brows furrow . in the direct heat of the sun , i should n't get goosebumps the way i just have . suddenly , a feeling of contentment washes over me . opening one eye , i turn and peer across the street as if i 'm homing in on him . a hooded figure , hands in his pockets , walking away from me . bubbles of warmth course through my body . keeping me safe . or so my gut tells me . i know i should feel differently . i should feel uneasy . and even frightened . something about this man puts my mind at rest . and i know deep down that i have nothing to fear . twitch will protect me . just like he always does . chapter three the front door to my unit opens and i hear familiar voices . `` alexa , baby , we 're here ! '' nicole palmer , my very aussie , very uninhibited best girl friend yells out . she quickly adds , `` where are you ? '' smiling , i shout back , `` in the shower ; be out in a minute ! '' `` take your time , love . we 'll just open some bubbly and chill on the couch . '' that 's david allen , my best guy friend . he 's tall , strapping , and handsome , a complete sweetheart , and tragically enough for the female population of sydney , a one-hundred-percent show-tune singing pansy . gay as they come . every year , he makes us dress up and attend the g*y and lesbian mardi gras . and every single year , i make a fuss about going . the costumes are so damn revealing ! but every single year , once we 're there , i have a blast . and knowing i 'm there to support my friend is enough to get me there . the bathroom door opens , and nikki says quietly , `` hey , babe , just thought i 'd let you know that dave and phil broke up last night . '' with my hands in my hair , working the shampoo into a froth , i gasp . david and phil have been together almost a year . dave spotted phil at the gym working as a personal trainer and made me sign up with him for sessions to get information out of him . i , of course , did this for my friend . he 's so adorably needy sometimes that it 's hard to say no to that sweet face . three sessions in with phil - and my body screaming in pain - i decided to ask him out . not that i wanted to ask him out . see , i knew he was g*y from the very first session we had together . it was n't as if the guy was hiding the fact that he went out of his way to check out the other guys ' asses while they trained . surprisingly , phil accepted my lunch date . over that hour , we got to know each other , and i came to the conclusion that phil was good enough to date my friend . and i told him just that . he laughed at my forwardness and said full of attitude , `` honey , what makes you think your friend is good enough for me ? '' and just like that , i smiled like a loon , clapped my hands together , and yelled in the middle of the cafe , `` you 're perfect ! '' phil and dave met the next day for dinner . and phil ... well ... he sort of never left dave 's house . rather like a puppy being adopted . they were super sweet together . both affectionate and needy in their own ways , they fed off each other , blooming in ways i had n't thought possible , and i honestly thought they had what it takes to go the distance . my hands stilling in my soapy hair , i groan softly , `` oh , no ! poor baby dave ! i hear the familiar squeak of her taking a seat on my laundry basket . conversations in the bathroom are not an unusual thing for nikki and me . we lived together while we studied , and modesty soon became a thing of the past . she sighs , `` they had a fight . not like they normally do , you know ? it was a doozy . long story short , phil accused dave of cheating on him . '' gasping a second time , i all but shout , `` get . nikki makes a noise of uncertainty in the back of her throat and whispers , `` well , no . but that 's how dave saw it . '' dave is emotional at the best of times . nikki sighs , `` told phil to pack his shit and leave .

i spoke quietly and rapidly , starting with mr crepsley and madam octa , explaining the deal i 'd struck to save steve 's life , giving her a quick rundown of the years since then ; my existence as a vampire , the vampaneze , the war of the scars , tracking the vampaneze lord . i did n't tell her steve was the lord or involved with the vampaneze - i wanted to see how she reacted to the rest of the story before hitting her with that one . her eyes did n't betray her feelings . it was impossible to guess what she was thinking . when i got to the part of thestory involving darius , her gaze slid from me to her son , and she leant forward slightly as i described how he 'd been tricked into aiding the vampaneze , , again being careful not to refer to steve by name . i finished with my return to the old cinema theatre , shancus 's death , and the vampaneze lord 's revelation that darius was my nephew . `` once darius knew the truth , he was horrified , '' i said . `` but i told him he must n't blame himself . lots of older and wiser people than him have been fooled by the lord of the vampaneze . '' i stopped and awaited her reaction . `` you 're insane , '' she said coldly . `` if youare my brother - and i 'm not a hundred per cent convinced - then whatever disease stunted your growth also affected your brain . vampaneze ? my son in league with a killer ? '' darius exclaimed . `` he can prove it ! he 's stronger and faster than any human . he can- '' `` be quiet ! '' annie roared with such venom that darius shut up instantly . she glared at me furiously . `` get out of my house , '' she snarled . `` stay away from my son . do n't ever come back . '' `` you 're not my brother ! even if you are , you 're not ! we buried darren eighteen years ago . he 's dead and that 's the way i want him to stay . i do n't care if you 're him or not . i want you out of my life -our lives - immediately . '' she stood and pointed at the door . if it had n't been for darius , i would have slunk out like a kicked dog . but she had to know what her son had become . i could n't leave without convincing her of the danger he was in . while annie stood , pointing at the door , hand trembling wildly , face twisted with rage , darius stepped away from the tv `` mum , '' he said quietly . `` do n't you want to know how i fell in with the vampaneze and why i helped them ? '' `` there are no vampaneze ! '' `` this maniac has filled your imagination with lies and- '' `` steve leonard 's the lord of the vampaneze , '' darius said , and annie stopped dead . `` he came to me a few years ago , '' darius went on , edging slowly towards her . `` at first we just went for walks together , he took me to the cinema and for meals , stuff like that . he told me not to say anything to you . he said you would n't like it , that you 'd make him go away . '' he stopped in front of her , reached up , took hold of her pointing hand and gently bent her arm down . she was staring at him wordlessly . `` he 's my dad , '' darius said sadly . `` i trusted him because i thought he loved me . that 's why i believed him when he told me about vampires . he said he was telling me for my protection , that he was worried about me - andyou . he wanted to protect us . then i got more involved . he taught me how to use a knife , how to shoot , how to kill . '' annie sank back into her chair , unable to respond . `` it was steve , '' darius said . `` steve who got me into trouble , who killed the snake-boy , who made darren come back to see you . darren did n't want to - he knew he 'd hurt you - but steve left him with no choice . it 's true , mum , everything he said . you 've got to believe us , because it was steve , and i think he might come back - come afteryou - and if we are n't ready ... if you do n't believe ... '' he ground to a halt , running out of words . but he 'd said enough . when annie looked at me again , there was fear and doubt in her eyes , but no scorn . i nodded unhappily and her face hardened . `` what did i tell you about him ? '' she screamed at darius , grabbing the boy and shaking him angrily . `` i told you never to go near him ! that if you ever saw him , you had to run and tell me ! i said he was dangerous ! '' `` i did n't believe you ! ''

when he reached a hand out and started rubbing his thumb in circles against her clit , she forgot all about control and rode him hard ... over and over until she was screaming his name . her body came apart in an explosion of spasms and with another few quick thrusts into her quivering body , brant joined her in release . she collapsed against his sweaty chest , gasping for breath , too spent to separate her body from his . she had no idea how long they lay there , both trying to catch their breath and calm their racing hearts . when brant 's stomach growled against her ear , they both started laughing . he smacked her butt and asked , `` any chance you could feed me now like you promised ? '' they took a quick shower together , soaking the bathroom floor as they teased each other . she was surprised by the end of their shower that one of them had n't slid down and broken a bone . she slipped a short sundress over her head and left off the bra and panties . she thought brant might enjoy that surprise later . soon they were both sitting on her couch with bowls of shrimp pasta balanced on their knees . `` so how 's alexia ? is she still staying with you ? '' the fork that had been going toward brant 's mouth paused in midair before continuing on . he slowly chewed , seeming to drag it out as long as possible before answering . `` she 's fine and , yes , she is still there . '' `` hmm , i see . that all still seems a bit strange to me . '' when it became obvious that brant was n't going to add any additional explanation , she decided to change the subject . truthfully , she could n't imagine that any man could make love to her with the intensity that he had exhibited and be having an intimate relationship with someone else at the same time . he definitely had n't just been going through the motions . he was just as focused and in the moment as he had been in florida . maybe he did have the desire and stamina to go home now and do the same thing with alexia ... but she just did n't see it . sure , she was n't comfortable with the other woman living with him and she felt like there was more to the story than he was saying , but the alarm bells in her head had dropped to a light ping now . he still wanted her and that went a long way toward quieting the inner stalker within her , at least for tonight . chapter seventeen emma rubbed her temples , trying to soothe the headache pulsing there . to say it had been a hectic day would be a grave understatement . both jason and gray had been called away on some emergency , which meant that many of their meetings and obligations for that day had been shifted to brant , declan and nick . she had spent the morning running back and forth to gray 's and jason 's offices gathering files that brant needed . they had worked steadily throughout the day with little time for any personal interaction . he had spent the night with her last night and left before dawn to go home for a change of clothes before work . she had given him a huge grin when he left her bed in the early-morning light , thinking of him making the walk of shame that was usually reserved for a woman leaving a man 's apartment in the same clothes she had arrived in . she studied him as she dropped another file on his desk . his eyebrows were furrowed and his jaw was flexed in concentration . he jotted notes in the notebook in front of him as he asked what seemed like a hundred questions . he looked like a perfect picture of every uptight name she had ever called him . the problem now was that she knew there was more to him than that . he could completely immerse himself in work to the exclusion of all else , but he could also burn hotter than any man she had ever known . he looked up to give her an absent-minded smile , catching her in the middle of staring at him . he was so sexy to her in that moment that she wanted nothing more than to grab him by his paisley tie and drag him on the floor with her . just one sharp pinch to the nipple like he had given her last night and she would orgasm right here on the beige carpet in front of his desk . as he continued to study her expression , seeming to know what she was thinking , she was gratified to see his hand shake even though he never stumbled during his telephone conversation . she understood then how it was that he set her body on fire . brant excelled at everything he touched ... including her . just as she was considering doing something drastic to rattle him such as taking off her panties and putting them on his desk , the door opened in the outer room and she turned to see alexia shaw standing there smiling shyly . emma smiled through clenched teeth even though she wanted to roll her eyes and do something completely juvenile like stick her tongue out at the other woman . alexia was dressed in understated but obviously expensive clothing , and her hair was perfectly styled without a single hair out of place .

hear the sights and smell the scents of the city she loved so much . he did n't know if she was back to being a full phoenix or if part of her remained a vampire . and , really , he did n't care what she was . she probably deserved better . no , she damn well deserved better , but he 'd kill any man or supernatural who ever tried to take her from him . so sabine was pretty much stuck with him . if she wanted to leave me , could i let her go ? it was a dark thought , and one he did n't want to examine too deeply . he needed her so much . maybe he was n't what she- sabine 's soft laughter stopped him . `` you just faced me and my fire , so why worry now ? do n't you realize , vampire , you 're all that i want ? the only man who can get through the flames and get to me ? '' she pulled his head down toward her . `` i want to go where you go . and the only place he wanted to go ? wherever the hell she was . if she wanted to stay in new orleans , he 'd make the city safe for her . if she wanted to f**king fly to paris , he 'd buy her a jet . give anything . `` do n't ever die on me again . '' because he 'd wanted to cut out his own heart when her eyes had gone blank . `` if i do , '' she whispered , `` i 'll come back . i swear , i 'll never leave you . '' after all , his sabine had never lied . she 'd also never said ... `` i love you , ryder . '' then heard the disgruntled , `` hell , '' that came from rhett . `` looks like i 'll have a vamp brother-in-law . '' ryder ignored the human . rhett had managed to shake off his compulsion , just as ryder suspected he might do . he 'd come back to the city , ready to face any enemies . ryder could respect him . but even though he had that respect , he was n't about to stop kissing sabine . because she was all that mattered . she 'd given him the world , and he 'd spend the rest of his days laying the whole damn world at her feet . epilogue cassie paced down the narrow corridor . the fluorescent lights barely flickered over her head . she 'd made the serum from the phoenix 's tears , and the primal cure had actually worked . the tears from the phoenix were amazing . she 'd been able to inject vaughn adams , and , while he had n't become human again , he 'd managed to leash the beast that had been created within him . he could function once more . could control his ravenous hunger . actually , he only had two fangs now . just like any other vampire . his knife-like claws had vanished . his eyes showed sanity , not the delirium of the beast . and there was enough serum left that she could possibly treat five other primals . if any others were still out there . the tears had been just what she needed . but a phoenix could n't exactly cry on demand . it seemed that only a life-or-death situation could bring forth the tears of a phoenix . the phoenix had to care , had to love . and had to break before the tears would fall . ryder was n't about to let his phoenix break again , so cassie knew there would be no more tears from sabine . but sabine had done more than any other before her . she 'd shed tears to save ryder , and the female phoenix must have also cried to save cassie 's life . because cassie knew that she 'd been about to die . she 'd felt the cold touch of death sweeping over her . cheated death . all because of a phoenix 's tears . thank you , sabine . the floor creaked behind her . cassie froze . she should be alone on this level of her lab . she 'd been working with a wolf shifter-one who 'd been the unfortunate prisoner of richard wyatt-but she was making headway with him . he was housed downstairs , but that creak ... it came from steps behind me . slowly , she turned around . in the shadows at the end of the hall , she could just make out the tall , dark form of a man . and she could see his eyes . glowing , burning with flames . those eyes had haunted her memories . her nightmares . `` hello , cassandra , '' his deep , rumbling voice seemed to pour over her , `` i 've missed you . '' then dante stepped forward , and cassandra was pretty sure that her world stopped . he could n't have cried for her . dante did n't care about anyone . stalking slowly out of the shadows .

as he drew near enough to make out ronnie 's sleeping form , the play of starlight and shadow made her appear both younger and older than she really was . he thought again about the years he 'd lost and would never get back . he stayed long enough to gaze up and down the beach . as far as he could tell , no one was out , so he turned and headed back inside . he sat on the couch and turned on the television , flipping through the channels before turning it off . finally , he went to his room and crawled into bed . he fell asleep almost immediately but woke an hour later . tiptoeing outside again , he went to check on the daughter he loved more than life itself . 12 ronnie her first thought upon waking was that everything hurt . her back was stiff , her neck ached , and when she got the courage to sit up , a stabbing pain coursed through her shoulder . she could n't imagine anyone ever choosing to sleep outdoors . when she was growing up , some of her friends had extolled the joys of camping , but she 'd thought they were deranged . sleeping on the ground hurt . and so , of course , did the blinding sun . judging by fact that she 'd been waking up with the farmers since she 'd arrived , she figured today was no different . it probably was n't even seven yet . the sun was hanging low over the ocean , and a few people were walking their dogs or jogging near the water 's edge . no doubt they 'd slept in beds . she could n't imagine walking , let alone exercising . right now it was hard enough to breathe without passing out . steeling herself , she slowly got to her feet before remembering why she 'd been out here in the first place . she checked the nest , noting with relief that it was undisturbed , and ever so slowly , the aches and pains began to subside . she wondered idly how blaze could tolerate sleeping on the beach , and then all of a sudden she remembered what blaze had done to her . arrested for shoplifting . serious shoplifting . felony shoplifting . she closed her eyes , reliving it all : the way the store manager had glared at her until the officer had arrived , officer pete 's disappointment on the drive to the station , the awful phone call she 'd had to make to her dad . she 'd felt like throwing up on the car ride home . if there was one bright spot in all that had happened , it was that her dad had n't blown a gasket . and even more incredible , he 'd said he believed her to be innocent then again , he had n't spoken to mom yet . as soon as that happened , all bets were off . no doubt mom would scream and shout until dad gave in , and he 'd end up grounding her because he 'd promised mom that he would . after the incident , her mom had grounded her for a month , and this was way , way bigger than just an incident . she could n't imagine having to spend an entire month in her room , a room she had to share , no less , in a place she did n't want to be . she wondered if things could get any worse . as she stretched her arms above her head , she yelped at a stabbing pain in her shoulder . she lowered them slowly , wincing . she spent the next couple of minutes dragging her things to the back porch . even though the nest was behind her house , she did n't want the neighbors to guess that she 'd slept outside . based on the grandeur of their houses , she pegged them as the kind of people who wanted everything picture perfect when they stood on their back decks drinking coffee in the mornings . the knowledge that someone had been sleeping beside their house probably did n't fit with their image of perfection , and the last thing she wanted was to have the police to show up again . with her luck , she 'd probably get arrested for vagrancy . felony vagrancy . it took two trips to get everything-she did n't have the energy to carry it all at once-and then she realized she 'd left behind her copy of anna karenina . she 'd intended to read it last night , but she 'd been too tired and had set it under a piece of driftwood so the mist would n't ruin it . when she went back to get it , she spotted someone wearing a beige jumpsuit advertising blakelee brakes , carrying a roll of yellow tape and a bunch of sticks . he seemed to be walking up the beach toward the house . by the time she 'd retrieved her book , the man was closer and hunting around the dune . she started toward him , wondering what he was doing , and then he turned in her direction . when their eyes met , it was one of the few times in her life that she actually felt tongue-tied . she recognized him immediately , despite the uniform .

lucia lifted the gown off the bed , squeezed it tight to her chest and smelled it . her mothers rose-perfumed scent still lingered in the garment . if it is too much to bear , i can have eiess started . no , this will do , lucia said , clinging onto the dress . good , eiess said , gliding over to the door . take as long as you want on your decision . after a decision has been made , i expect it to be a life commitment . of course , as would i . sweet dreams , eiess said as she exited . lucia slipped into her mothers sleeping tunic and hopped into bed . i am the sun queen now . she heard harald stirring and grunting in his crib , but he remained sleeping . what a day , she said out loud as she remembered all the events . she never thought she would have ended up here today . eiesss offer had been very generous and she was rightthey would be more powerful than ailia and soren together . right as she was about to fall asleep , something hit her . how does eiess know about ailia ? 33 frostland the creaky sleigh arrived in trollsoe as the sun made its first appearance of the day . ailia couldnt stop the tears from streaming . her journey had been long and cold , travelling through high , snowy mountain paths and between gorges of ice , but that didnt bother her as much as not knowing what had happened to soren . if soren had been killed , she wanted to die also . people were busy in the streets , opening their shops in the over-crowded market place . leather , furs , wool , clothing , jewelry , fowls and beasts were among the merchandise being sold . the industrious city had managed to outgrow bergendal over the last decade , most likely because of its port , which was beneficial for merchants and tradesmen . it had been over a hundred years since eiess had burned the city to the ground , and there was no sign of destruction anywhere . towering buildings and houses that were , in ailia 's mind , taller than necessary had popped up recently and the city was expanding by the day . passing by each road , she could peer down the street all the way to the busy longhship-filled harbor . the viking steered the sleigh onto the main path of the city and headed for the bay . she passed men women and children busy about their days , dressed in heavy overcoats and furs . trollsoe seemed a happy city and everyone was probably unaware that ailias hometown bergendal had just been destroyed by the vikings . information travelled slowly and it might even be weeks before the news came here . ailia remembered vaguely the story soren had told her about her first life . is this where i lived with soren ? shortly after they had crossed the city border , ailia noticed a young man following her sleigh . he couldnt be more than in his mid to late teens and he was not what ailia would call large in stature . in fact , he looked like he could be called the shortest man in trollsoe . he kept his black curly hair in a ponytail and he wore a brown-bear fur coat with his hood down . sneaking after the sleigh , he waved to ailia and smiled . ailia grabbed the bars of her cage and looked out . she asked , not knowing whether he would be able to hear her in the distance with all that was going on . other carts , horses and sleighs rushed by and the bells of the bell tower started chiming throughout the city . the viking yelled back at ailia . or ill take a beating to you . suddenly the young man took off down the street . ailia sat back down . that was strange , she thought . longships and fishing boats lined the docks . the viking stopped by the first longship and approached an elderly man who was busy bundling some rope . id like to sell a well able , strong , young female thrall . she is a good worker and has served us well in the past , the viking said . seagulls filled the air , squawking for food , diving for fish . the scent of fish infused the air . you will need to go see mercer , the old man said and pointed to another man , who was dressed like a nobleman . the viking directed the sleigh over in front of mercers knarr and repeated his proposition . one silver coin , the nobleman said in a foreign accent , holding his finger up . the viking scoffed . youll have to do much better than that . she is worth at least ten silver coins , my girl . only ten ? that is the value of my life ? it seemed ridiculously low . if you want more for your female thrall , you will want to go see erik or his son , leif .

then he wondered if a sober andrew would act any different . was this andrew 's psychosis or his medicine ? was he flying too high to understand what he was doing , or did his medicine only add a smile to andrew 's ingrained violence ? neil looked to aaron , waiting for him to interfere . aaron was tense but quiet as he stared at andrew 's knife . neil gave him another second , but he could n't wait forever . he did n't know what would finally set andrew off and he did n't want to find out . `` hey , '' neil said , looking back at andrew . `` quiet , '' nicky said in english , barely louder than a breath of air . `` hey , '' neil said again , ignoring him , but he was n't sure what to say . questioning andrew 's sanity or calling his bluff would end with nicky in the hospital . he would n't pretend to accept nicky 's advances just to calm andrew down . what neil needed was a distraction , something more important to andrew than nicky . that left only one thing that neil knew of . one person , rather . `` are we playing or what ? '' `` kevin 's waiting . '' andrew looked at neil as if that had n't occurred to him . let 's go or we 'll never hear the end of it . '' andrew let go of nicky and spun away . his knife vanished under his armor before he reached the door . aaron squeezed nicky 's shoulder on his way out . nicky looked shaken as he stared after the twins , but when he realized neil was watching him he rallied with a smile neil did n't believe at all . `` on second thought , you 're not my type after all , '' nicky said when the door closed behind his cousins . `` you need some more water before we hit the court for round two ? '' `` that 's not okay , '' neil said , pointing at the door . `` that 's nothing , '' nicky said . neil caught his arm as nicky passed and hauled him to a stop . `` do n't let him get away with things like that . '' nicky considered him for a moment , his smile fading into something small and tired . you 're going to make this so hard on yourself . look , '' he said , tugging free and turning neil toward the door . `` andrew is a little bit crazy . your lines are not his lines , so you can get all huff and puff when he tramps across yours but you 'll never make him understand what he did wrong . moreover , you 'll never make him care . so just stay out of his way . '' `` he 's like this because you let him get away with it , '' neil said . nicky opened the door and waited for neil to precede him out . `` i said something i should n't have , and i got what i deserved . '' neil was n't convinced , but he could n't demand better explanations for an argument that had happened in german , so he led the way to the inner court . neil looked first to andrew , who was jogging to the half-court line , and then to kevin , who was standing on the fox paw logo at the court 's center . aaron was at the door waiting for nicky and neil , and the three entered the court together . kevin barely waited for them to stop at his side before dividing them up with a flick of his fingers . `` aaron is with me . nicky and andrew get the child . two-man team scrimmage with an empty away goal . '' `` i 'm not a child , '' neil said . `` you 're only a year older than i am . '' two , really , but he was n't about to tell them he 'd lied about both his birthday and his age . kevin ignored that , but nicky spoke up , `` should n't andrew be with you and aaron ? then neil can practice shooting on him . '' kevin looked bored by the suggestion . `` if i thought he could make it to the goal , i would have set it up that way . '' `` them 's fighting words , '' nicky said , grinning at neil . `` bring it , kid . '' there were only five of them , but they set up as if they had two full teams : neil and kevin spaced out on the half-court line , nicky at first-fourth , and aaron at far-fourth . andrew acted as dealer from his place in home goal and slammed the ball all the way to the other end of the court . the second neil heard the crack of andrew 's racquet , he started moving , pushing up before aaron could close him out .

`` you should come next time he makes it . everyone would be glad to have you there , '' nik said , walking with aundy as she started back toward the house . `` maybe , '' aundy said , smiling at nik and patting his back . butter bleated and ran around her legs . aundy stopped and gave the lamb a thorough petting before doing the same for bob . the dog rolled onto his back and held still , in perfect bliss , while aundy scratched his belly . `` okay , you three , i really do need to get back , '' aundy said , standing up again . `` where did you say you 're going ? '' `` ashton monroe 's place . the nash family will be going as well , for dinner . '' `` oh , '' nik said , studying the toe of his boot . aundy asked , wondering what caused his sudden pensive mood . it 's just ... i think mr. monroe really likes you , '' nik said , letting out a sigh as he looked at aundy , trying to judge her reaction to his words . `` i like garrett much better , though . '' `` thank you for sharing your thoughts on the subject , although i 'm here to tell you right now , i 'll be staying single . '' nik looked at her with his happy-go-lucky smile back in place . `` that 's good , aundy . you stay single and when i 'm old enough , you 'll marry me . '' `` you are a tease , nikola zorian gandiaga ! '' aundy said with a laugh as she walked away with a wave . `` a real tease . '' arriving back at the house , aundy washed the few dishes she 'd dirtied to make lunch and decided to clean the chicken coop . she hated the job even more than she did gathering eggs , but she had time to take care of it . finishing the unwelcome chore , she was troubled to see a horse stirring a cloud of dust as it raced up her lane . closing the coop behind her , she sighed as she watched marvin tooley pull his horse to a stop at the end of her walk . he weaved his way through the front gate , down the walk and up the porch steps , pounding on the front door . aundy wished she had her gun with her , but instead grabbed a shovel on her way to the house and ran around to the front where she was afraid , with marvin 's wild thumping , he 'd break the frosted glass panel out of the front door . `` mr. tooley , cease your pounding , please , '' she yelled to be heard above the racket he was making . `` told ya to sell them durn sheep , woman . done told ya to , '' he slurred as he stared at her bleary eyed . aundy had n't seen many drunk people in her life but it was obvious marvin had imbibed in something either quite potent or quite a lot of it . `` now ya 'll pay the piper . '' aundy asked , standing her ground . `` is that another of your threats ? '' it 's a fact , '' marvin said , then laughed . the sound made the hair on the back of aundy 's neck prickle . marvin tooley sounded like a lunatic . `` be that as it may , would you please take yourself and your facts off my property this instant ? '' aundy asked , pointing her hand in the direction of marvin 's lathered horse . `` i warned ya , woman . done told ya . but ya jes wo n't listen , '' marvin said , weaving down the steps . aundy was n't sure the crazy drunk would be able to get back on his horse let alone home . `` stubborn , fool woman . it 'll teach her to listen to me . '' `` thank you for sharing your thoughts , mr. tooley . have a lovely afternoon and if you come back making more threats , i 'll be paying a visit to the sheriff about you . '' `` do n't threaten me ! '' marvin yelled then somehow managed to get on his horse only to ride a few yards down the lane and fall off . aundy tossed aside the shovel and marched to where marvin fell in the dirt . `` you are completely pathetic , '' aundy muttered as she grabbed his horse 's reins , whirled around and ran to the barn . the last thing , the very last thing , she wanted to do was take marvin tooley home , but she could n't very well leave him in the road and there was no way she was letting the man in her house , the barn , or the bunkhouse . she wanted him off her property posthaste . quickly hitching a horse to the buggy , she tied marvin 's horse to the back of it and stopped beside the drunken man .

if von helrung should succeed-if we allow our noble cause to be reduced to the study of the silly superstitions of the masses-so that we jibber-jabber on about the nature of the vampire or the zombie as if they sat at the same table as the manticore and the anthropophagus , then monstrumology is as dead as alchemy , as ridiculous as astrology , as serious as one of mr. barnum 's sideshow freaks ! `` grown men , educated men , men of the highest sophistication and social refinement , cross themselves like the most ignorant peasant when they pass this house . 'what queer and unnatural goings-on in there , the house of warthrop ! ' when you yourself can attest that there is nothing queer or unnatural about it , that what i deal in is altogether natural , that if it were n't for me and men like me , these fools might find themselves choking on their own entrails or being digested in the belly of some beast no more queer than the lowly housefly ! '' he drew a breath deeply , the pause before the start of the next movement in his symphony , then suddenly he became very still , head cocked slightly to one side . i listened , but heard nothing but the rain 's gentle kiss upon the window and the metronomic tick-tick of the mantel clock . `` someone is here , '' he said . he turned and peered through the blinds . i could see nothing but the reflection of his angular face . how hollow his cheeks ! how pale his flesh ! he had spoken boldly of his ultimate fate-did he know how close he seemed to that vile dust from whence he came ? `` quickly , to the door , will henry . whoever it is , remember i am indisposed and ca n't receive visitors . a moment later the bell rang . he closed the study door behind me . i lit the jets in the front hall to chase away the preternatural shadows lying thick in the entryway , and threw wide the door to behold the most beautiful woman i have ever seen in all the years of my exceedingly long life . two `` there is nothing i can do for you '' `` why , hello there , '' she said with a puzzled smile . `` i 'm afraid i may be lost . i am looking for the house of pellinore warthrop . '' `` this is dr. warthrop 's house , '' i returned , in a voice only moderately steady . more stunning than her extraordinary looks was her very presence upon our doorstep . in all the time i had lived with him , the doctor had never received a lady caller . it simply did not happen . the doorstep of 425 harrington lane was not the sort of place upon which a proper lady appeared . i thought i might have come to the wrong place . '' she stepped into the vestibule without my asking , removed her gray traveling cloak , and adjusted her hat . a strand of her auburn hair had escaped from its pin and now clung , dripping , to her graceful neck . her face was radiant in the glow of the lamps , rain-moist and without defect-unless the fine spray of freckles across her nose and cheeks might be called thus-though i will admit it may not have been the lighting that painted her with perfection . it is exceedingly strange to me that i , who have no difficulty in describing the multifarious manifestations of the doctor 's gruesome craft , the foul denizens of the dark in all their grotesque aspects to the smallest detail , now struggle with the lexicon , reaching for words as ephemeral as the will-o'-the-wisp to do justice to the woman i met that summer afternoon seventy years ago . i might speak of the way the light played along her glittering tresses-but what of that ? i might go on about her hazel eyes flecked with flashing bits of brighter green-but still fall short . there are things that are too terrible to remember , and there are things that are almost too wonderful to recall . `` could you tell him that mrs. chanler is here to speak with him ? '' she was smiling warmly at me . i stammered something completely unintelligible , which did nothing to diminish her smile . `` no , ma'am , '' i managed . `` i mean , yes , he is , but he is not ... ... the doctor is indisposed . '' `` well , perhaps if you told him i 'm here , he might be disposed to make an exception . '' `` yes , ma'am , '' i said , and then quickly added , `` he is very busy , so- '' `` oh , he is always busy , '' she said with a delighted little laugh . `` i 've never known him not to be . we have n't been properly introduced . '' i took it , only later wondering if her intent had been for me to kiss it . i was woefully ignorant in the social graces . i was being raised , after all , by pellinore warthrop . `` my name is muriel , '' she said . `` i 'm william james henry , '' i responded with awkward formality . so that 's who you are . you 're james henry 's son . '' she placed her cool hand upon my arm . `` i am terribly sorry for your loss , will . and you are here because ...

`` i 've rarely needed any , and when i did , i just made whoever wanted to see my id believe they had . but i ca n't do that anymore . besides , i ca n't risk having them take my blood or the baby 's . '' kyle muttered an oath . if the baby carried any trace of vampire blood , it would undoubtedly cause quite a stir among hospital personnel , especially when the mother was human . `` we could be in big trouble , '' he agreed . `` what about your old vampire friends ? mara thought of brenna and cara and savanah . nice women , all of them . cara and savanah had both given birth . they would know what to do . but for some reason she did n't understand , she was reluctant to ask for their help , reluctant to admit to anyone , including herself , that she needed help , even though she had never needed it more . she had chosen to stay with kyle because he was human and because he was the baby 's father . she knew now that she would have been safer with logan . mara yawned behind her hand . her back hurt , and she was getting a headache . `` we can talk about this tomorrow , '' kyle said , turning off the light . she curled up against him and closed her eyes , but sleep was a long time coming . she wished fleetingly that it was logan lying beside her . she would n't be afraid to face mcdonald or anyone else with logan covering her back . the next few days went by slowly , and yet all too fast . kyle turned one of the bedrooms into a studio , and mara turned another one into a nursery . they rarely left the house except for groceries . most nights , they snuggled on the sofa watching tv and necking like teenagers , some nights they played cards . at other times , they went for walks in the moonlight . one afternoon , kyle suggested mara pose for him before the baby came . mara glanced at her stomach . she was as big as a horse . `` i 'm sure no one else would think so , '' she muttered , and then smiled faintly . `` but i 'm glad you do . '' `` i 'm tired of watching tv . '' `` i was thinking of painting you in the buff . '' `` nude ? hang on a minute , '' he said , and left the room . mara stared after him . she must have gained fifty pounds if she had gained an ounce . kyle returned a few minutes later carrying a sheer panel from one of the bedroom windows . she eyed the curtain suspiciously . get undressed . '' minutes later , she was reclining on the sofa , her girth strategically camouflaged by the curtain , so that only her arms , legs , and shoulders were bare . a pot of greenery added a splash of color near her feet . kyle regarded his handiwork a moment and then pronounced it , `` perfect ! '' mara shook her head in amusement . she watched his face as he worked , his brow furrowed in concentration , his brushes moving quick and sure over the canvas . after a time , she closed her eyes and logan 's image crept into her mind . she imagined she heard his voice , soft and silky and filled with longing as he whispered that he loved her . in her mind , she yearned toward him , her body aching for the touch of his hand in her hair , the pressure of his lips on hers . and then his voice again , low and seductive , reminding her of the nights they had spent together , the love they had shared . hey , mara , are you all right ? '' feeling disoriented , she opened her eyes , expecting to find logan standing over her . it took her a moment to remember where she was . `` you were talking in your sleep . '' a rush of guilt swept through her . had she called logan 's name ? it was in a language i did n't understand . '' `` i must have been dreaming . '' it must have been some dream . your cheeks are flushed . '' `` can i hope you were dreaming about me ? '' `` i thought you might want to take a break . '' he offered her his hand , and she let him pull her to her feet . `` can we continue this tomorrow ? '' i think i 'll go to bed . '' `` sure , honey , if that 's what you want . i 'll be up in a little while . '' she kissed him on the cheek and then left the room , her heart heavy with a load of guilt and remorse . chapter twenty-four `` gone ? what do you mean , she 's gone ? '' lou stared at her sister . she missed her last appointment . when i called to see if she was all right , i got a message saying the number had been disconnected . ramsden went out to the house to check on her , but no one was home , and there was a for rent sign on the front lawn . '' lou drummed her fingertips on the tabletop .

it was a good thing kota knew how to work with less than stellar materials . erin bit her lip and tapped her pen on the page . it wouldnt be long before the mayor started talking about paying rent , too . lost in these unwelcome thoughts , she missed the sound of horses clopping their way down the road over wheels rattling , or the snorts as they were reined in outside of the inn . kotas ears twitched at the sound of boots hitting the ground , and when the steps leading to the front door creaked he went from asleep to darting into the kitchen in the space of a second . erin looked at the kitchen door as it swung shut and then back at the front door when a man knocked on the door frame and poked his head inside . he was tall , so that his head almost touched the top of the frame , but erin could still see an imperious coach drawn by two tall horses waiting outside . one glance at the coat of arms , a shield with an eye in the middle of interlocking vines , told her that they must have come straight from the capital . she said , trying to ignore the pattering of claws on the kitchen floor as kota paced around , no doubt wishing that he had gone up the stairs and wondering if he should go out the back door . er , welcome to the last inn , is there ... there any way i can assist you ? she did wish that kota would knock it off already . yes , the man said , looking down at her . madam elzwig wishes to know if this place serves drinks , and food . if so , we wish to procure some for an early lunch before we continue on . oh , yes , of course , erin said quickly . drinks were not a problem , as kota had discovered a well-stocked wine cellar while cleaning in the storage room off the kitchen and they would probably go for that , or water . food , on the other hand ... she heard the distinct sound of the kitchen window closing as well as the door , followed by cupboard doors opening and closing . please tell madam elzwig that wed be delighted to serve her . ill just go and ... have a talk with the cook . the tall servant stepped forward and lowered his voice , as if afraid that the coach would overhear . she prefers a wide spread , if you understand me . red wine , preferably from the year of the dancer , and no onions . the coachman and i will just have water . and she does not like to wait . o-okay , erin said but the servant was already walking back to the coach with long , loping strides . she hurried back to the kitchen to find kota back in his regular shape and what little food they had gathered on the island in the middle of the room . i think i can pull something together , kota remarked as he turned over a packet of bacon and sniffed something in a jar . he shuddered and tossed that into the trash . but we may be going without . if she pays half as well as that coach suggests , we can buy some more , erin said , but her nerves were jangling . she had seen that coat of arms before , but no matter how hard she tried she just could not remember where . do we have any of that wine ? kota shrugged and she went down into the cellar herself and returned a few minutes later with a dust-covered bottle she found in the corner to sizzling skillets and a flurry of activity . she stared at this until kota gave her a sign to put the bottle down on the counter and attend to the guests . she arrived back into the common room in time to see the servant opening the door to the coach and hold out his hand to assist madam elzwig down . she was almost as tall as him , and so large that she was nearly round . expensive clothes did their best to hide it , but the coach noticeably rose a few inches when she stepped off the ground . so it is still open , she said . her round face tilted up toward the sign , and erin felt a flood of relief that they had spent all that time cleaning and repairing until she added , just as shabby as ever , i see . erin fought to keep the smile from sliding off of her face as she led them inside , where the servant pulled out a chair that put up a feeble protest when the madam sat down in it . he stepped back , put both arms behind his back , and seemed ready to stand there the whole time . this was off-putting enough , but when erin returned with the salad and wine and orders from kota to stall until the rest was ready , madam elzwig began to ask questions . the first was innocent enough , as her sharp , prying eyes roamed over the room , tell me , girl , how long have you been running this place ? oh , just over a month , erin said , surprising herself with how long it had been .