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ztntre

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Pablito_IT_6674

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zto038

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zto223

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ztopcv

I'm not the OOP. This was posted by u/Wifestolethemoney in r/trueoffmychest. [Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/zl9d1d/my_wife_stole_our_daughters_college_money_to_fund/) (14 Dec 22) **My wife stole our daughter's college money to fund her shopping addiction and wants me to take the blame** I’m stuck in between a rock and a hard place and I don’t know what to do. And the problem is, I can’t discuss this with anyone I’m close with for privacy reasons. I’ve been with my wife Andrea[48f] and my stepdaughter Cassie[17f] for 8 years now. I love them both to death, but Cassie is a very brilliant young woman. Recognizing her potential, me and Andrea decided to put together a college fund for Cassie so she wouldn’t be crushed by debt. Over the years, it has amounted to over $200,000. Cassie is aware of this and is banking on it since she’s trying to get into the Ivy League. To make a long story short, last week, I found out that almost $170,000 dollars of the money was missing from the account. I freaked the fuck out and asked Andrea if she knew anything about it. She teared up and said that she had been spending the money over the years to fund her spending habit. I was furious, but I had a moment of clarity. I’ve browsed these subs enough to know that an affair was possible so I asked her if she was having one. She adamantly denied it and offered any proof I needed. Social media accounts, emails, her work phone, everything. She offered to show me the receipts as well. There was nothing that popped out as suspicious, and the math from the receipts added up as well so I let it go. But we still had the major problem of the money being gone. She described herself as a shopping addict, and the money from Cassie’s account was just too tempting not to use. She didn’t make excuses, but offered no solutions. As stated before, I was beyond furious. She ruined Cassie’s chances at going to college debt free and has changed the trajectory of her whole life. I had asked her to stay with her sister while I tried to figure this out. Cassie was concerned about why she was leaving, but we just said we needed a little bit of space. I asked Andrea to come back home yesterday and we had an extremely long discussion about how to handle this. She stopped me from talking and asked a favor of me. She asked if I could take a the fall for her. For context her and Cassie don’t get along for a variety of reasons, and knowing how independent Cassie is, she will probably leave right after college if not during. In fact, me and Cassie get along very well and she comes to me for a lot of her issues. Andrea fears this will permanently drive Cassie away and she doesn’t want to lose her. I told her that before we even talk about that, she needed to acknowledge her mistake and own it. She needed to go to individual therapy, we needed couples counseling, she needed to find a shopaholic support group and that I would be controlling the finances from now on. She said those terms were steep but fair. I said she needed to tell Cassie what she did, apologize and hope for the best. She refused and said she could never lose Cassie. She said I could survive the mistake, but she couldn’t. I told her that in order to even consider me taking the fall, she needs to agree to my terms. I don’t know what the hell to do. The last thing I want to do is lie to Cassie, but I don’t want Andrea and Cassie to split up forever. And the worst part about this whole thing is that Cassie’s life is ruined either way. And I don’t know how to replenish the money other than maybe borrowing from my 401k. Reddit do you have any suggestions? Divorce is always an option, but I love Andrea despite her mistakes, and me dating at age 52 is next to impossible. Edit: After everyone in here knocked some sense into me, I realized I can't lie to Cassie, I love her too much and she deserves the absolute truth, no matter how ugly and hard it is. I will be talking to Andrea and telling her that we need to tell her the truth together as a condition of us staying together, or else I will initiate divorce proceedings and tell Cassie anyway. Also, as someone suggested, I don't need her trying to flip the script on me so I'll record our interactions going forward. Thanks. Edit 2: I want to thank everyone here for really opening my eyes yesterday. You're all right, I need to put Cassie first and like I said, I'll be telling the absolute truth, even if she gets mad at me and disowns me at least I'll know I did the right thing. In addition, I'm going to pay for her college myself. I can pull money from a couple of places such as my retirement and inheritance so it'll be okay. If I have to live a little frugally during retirement and work a few extra years then so be it, Cassie is worth it. I honestly doubt her mother is going to sell her stuff so that's why I'm taking this route. As for Andrea, I've been criticized for wanting to let Andrea off the hook so to speak, but it's easy to say when really deep feelings aren't involved. That being said, I don't think I can stay with her, what she did is horrendous and she ruined our daughter's future for her addiction. We had a long discussion late last night and I threatened divorce unless she told Cassie the truth. She begged me not to do this, but I put my foot down, and eventually, she agreed, but only if I agreed not to divorce and I helped to repair their relationship. I likely won't be doing either, she made her bed so she can sleep in it. So if I have to update, I'll probably just make a whole new post, thanks a lot guys. [Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/zntdhv/update_my_wife_stole_our_daughters_college_money/) (17 Dec 22) **Update: My wife stole our daughter's college money to fund her shopping addiction and wants me to take the blame** I want to start this by thanking everyone who replied to me in the original post. You all showed me tough love and I appreciate that. I even appreciate those who were calling me a doormat, because like I said in the previous post, it woke me up. I won’t be staying with Andrea. She’s lied and manipulated me and Cassie for far too long for me to stay with her. The fact that she stole from me, Cassie and Cassie’s grandparents makes this as close to unforgivable as it gets. The most wronged party here is Cassie, she has an amazing future ahead of her and I refuse to let her future go to waste because my wife made such selfish choices. Also I’d like to take the time to answer some common questions, some of which I answered in the original post but I’ll post again here so everyone can see it. 1. Over half the money in the account came from Cassie’s grandparents, aka Andrea’s parents, Cassie’s bio dad’s parents, and my parents whom she also calls grandparents. This money came in the beginning, which is why I knew how much was supposed to be in there. 2. I never handled the account. Although I claim Cassie as my daughter, she is only my stepdaughter officially. As such, her mother handles all financial matters related to her. I simply gave her money to put in the account, and she showed me(probably doctored) statements. My belief is that she pocketed the cash whenever I gave her money. 3. I did notice all the stuff she was buying. She claimed that they were either on sale or because she got a work bonus. She makes a very good living, and I thought was responsible with money so I said alright. I did ask her why she needed so many Christian Louboutin shoes, she shrugged it off. And although people can’t wrap their heads around it, it’s VERY easy to spend $170,000. 4. A large chunk of the money went to buy a Mercedes, which I thought was a lease. She had a 7 year old Lexus that according to her, her friends were “laughing at”. Keeping up appearances for her wealthy friends is very important to her. 5. Cassie and Andrea do not get along for a variety of reasons. Allegedly Cassie takes a lot after her deceased father and Andrea can’t relate to her at all, or maybe doesn’t try hard enough. Cassie much prefers me to talk to. We have parent/child boundaries, but Cassie considers me one of her best friends(her words, not mine). 6. I realized taking the fall was her manipulating me, plus it would have opened me up to a crap ton of consequences that I don’t need to deal with. Plus honesty is always the best policy. 7. I wasn’t thinking properly in my last post, and was afraid to be alone and single. I guess I have some issues being alone that I need to address. Plus I really do love Andrea, we connect in a very deep way, but I’m still divorcing her. Oddly enough a comment that senior homes have chlamydia outbreaks for me laughing and made me realize that I could date again at this age. Plus you guys gave me some very nice compliments, so thank you for those. After my final update on the original post, I talked to Andrea deep into the night. She went back and forth with me on admitting to Cassie what she did. She said that she or even both of us could get loans and take care of the money then. I said she had a problem and she needed to make amends, which was a talking point from here. When I threatened her with divorce she agreed to tell her so long as I don’t divorce her, I guess she’s afraid of losing everything. That afternoon we sat Cassie down and told her the facts. She thought we were just kidding at first, but when she realized weren’t kidding she got extremely upset. I’ll spare you the details, but she and Andrea got into an extremely loud and vicious shouting match. Cassie called her some truly awful names and Andrea, while she didn’t curse at her, tried to defend herself but started getting angry at the names she was being called. They were so loud, the neighbors called the police, I had to awkwardly explain the situation to them while hoping they didn’t think I was some kind of wife beater. Cassie told Andrea that she never wanted to speak to her again, and that she never wanted a dime of her money and stormed off. I asked Andrea at this point to stay with her sister indefinitely while we give Cassie and me some space. She didn’t want to go, she fought me to stay, but I told her me and Cassie needed time apart from her. So she packed her stuff and went to her sister’s house. As for Cassie, she went to her room and locked the door. She let me in after I told her that her mother had left. She cried in my arms and expressed that her future was now ruined. I told her it wasn’t, that I would cover her college from my retirement, and that I would make it right. She doesn’t exactly know what a 401k is yet, but she told me that she doesn’t want me to work until I’m 90 like the people at Walmart just because of her. I just told her she’s worth it, and that you do stupid things for the people you love. She said that she would start looking for scholarships and maybe other schools where she could get a full ride since she has excellent grades and extra curriculars. I then admitted Andrea wanted me to take the fall for her and that I had considered it, but I came to my senses. She got upset with me and told me that would have been the stupidest thing I could have done. She said she wouldn’t have believed I did it anyway, and it only would have made her more upset at her mother. She told me that she doesn’t blame me and that she’s not mad at me for the money being gone, but she is mad that I’d want to cover for her mother. I apologized for that. We talked and cuddled for while longer before calling it a night. The next morning I get a call from Andrea’s parents asking if the story was true. Cassie had told them the story and they were calling to confirm, I had the voice recordings and bank statement to prove it. They were livid, but begged me not to leave Andrea for this, an to try and help her through her addiction. I told them I wasn’t sure about that yet and hung up. A while later my parents called and asked me about it, I confirmed. They were probably more mad than Cassie was all things considered, they’re threatening to press charges. I told them to calm down and that I would handle it. Cassie is doing okay, she’s still a little shell shocked, but she seems to be taking it as well as one could hope for. I made her pancakes this morning and that seemed to brighten her mood a bit. I asked her if she wants to do therapy, she said she’ll think about it. I will be doing therapy for myself. Andrea has been calling to talk, but I’m just letting it ring, so she’s leaving voicemail. She’s offering anything to make it right: money, sex, favors, you name it. But it’s not going to work. I feel horrible for Cassie, and especially so close to Christmas. I think in going to get her Billie Eilish tickets since that’s her god. It won’t make up for it at all, but it could go along way to helping her feel better. So that’s it for now, I guess I’ll update if anything further happens, but I think this is pretty much it. Thanks all, you’ve been a tremendous help. Edit: I forgot to add, I watch my credit like a hawk so there was nothing suspicious there, but it's going to locked. I'll be going to my accountant next week to have Andrea removed from everything meaningful. Life insurance, will, bank accounts, etc.... And I'll be adding Cassie. I've started changing passwords and the like so Andrea doesn't have access. I'm stringing Andrea along with non-divorce until my accounts are secure. Also from what I can tell, Cassie's credit is okay. But I'll be doing a deep scan and locking that as well. Edit 2: Fixed a line where I mixed up the names Edit 3: I can't believe I have to say this, but there's a few people saying it's "creepy" that I'm cuddling with my daughter. If sitting together with her crying on my shoulder and us talking is considered creepy then sure, I'm creepy. Leave it to the internet to make things weird I guess. And no I don't think I'm some hero. I'm just trying to do the right thing. **Reminder - I'm not the OOP**

My wife stole our daughter's college money to fund her shopping addiction and wants me to take the blame.

CONCLUDED

prettiergenghis

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ztopcv/my_wife_stole_our_daughters_college_money_to_fund/

ztp3vh

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/nohorsethrow in r/AmItheAsshole, NEW UPDATE in r/TrueOffMyChest** This was previously shared as concluded by u/QualityProof. However, there is a new update, which is both shocking and also somehow predictable... trigger warnings: >!domestic abuse, murder!< mood spoilers: >!good for OP but terrible outcome!< ---   [**AITA for refusing to sell my horse?**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ski42q/aita_for_refusing_to_sell_my_horse/) - 04 Feb 2022 Me(24f) and my boyfriend (26) have been dating for around ~9 months. I’ve been riding horses since around four years old when I started taking lessons. When I was ten I started helping out this girl at the stable with her horse Lady. At 12 she told her she had to sell due to time/interest and asked if me and my parents wanted to buy Lady. Luckily for me, my parents were able to buy her and she’s been mine ever since. She’s my bestest friend and I love her a lot. When I started to date my bf I was very honest with the fact that my horse takes a lot of time and he was fine with this. When single I could spend like three to four hours a day in the stable but as we started dating I cut this down. To about three hours every other day as this is roughly how long it takes for me to do all the cleaning/preparing food/riding. Also most of my friends are at the stable which obviously means this is also social for me. The other days I would not ride and try to spend less time talking which would make it about an hour. After about six months he told me I spent too much time at the stable and I should prioritise my relationship more and somehow his family got involved and saying it was strange to prioritize the way I did. I wasn’t comfortable with this but I am a bit of a pushover so I agreed. At first this meant cutting down time at the stable but it has evolved into cutting down riding days. Now I ride about two days a week and the rest I’m simply there to do the basics. All of this as quickly as I can because otherwise I know he’ll be annoyed and pissed of for days and give me the silent treatment. I know my horse isn’t really suffering from not being ridden as often as before but I still feel very guilty that I’m always rushing around her. Then last night he told me it was time to sell Lady. I laughed at him and asked if he was serious. He was. I told him no and he said I needed to start prioritizing this relationship more and I said I’ve done nothing but prioritize this relationship. We argued about it and he apparently thinks I can just put her down as she’s old anyways. I was furious at this and told him that was absolutely not happening and I would never sell her. He said that any reasonable person would sell or put down their horse in favor of their boyfriend and the only reason I wouldn’t is because I only hang out with other insane horse people. So I come to you, reasonable people of Reddit, AITA? Edit: So I never expected this to get as much attention as it did. I’m very overwhelmed and thankful for all your kind comments and messages. I am currently sitting with Lady in her stable crying my eyes out because this has been such a wake-up call for me. My boyfriend left to visit his family and friends in his old town earlier today before I posted so for everyone worried: all is well for now and I will handle this asap. First I need to go home and sleep. Thank you all for being wonderful ❤️   [**Update AITA for refusing to sell my horse?**](https://www.reddit.com/user/nohorsethrow/comments/snfhxm/update_aita_for_refusing_to_sell_my_horse/) - 08 Feb 2022 *4 days later* Hello! I tried to update on AITA but got denied so I’m doing it here and hoping those who wanted an update will see this! First of all I want to say thank you to everyone who commented and sent me messages! I never thought my post would get as much attention as it did. It was very overwhelming. But again, thank you for your kindness and support! Also, thank you to the people who sent pictures of their horses. All of them are very cute! Anyway, you guys were right. I don’t know why I didn’t see it myself but this behaviour of isolating me has been going on for a while. He would say it was strange how much time I spent with my family, that adults didn’t spend that much time with their family. When I pointed out he also spent a lot of time with his family, I was “imagining and exaggerating things”. There was so much going on and for some reason I didn’t realise it. He would make me feel guilty all the time. For the smallest things. Me and bf didn’t live together officially, because I thought it was too early. But since he had taken a job in the town where I live “for me” he convinced me that him staying here during the weeks was a good idea. I feel incredibly stupid for not standing up for myself. I am a bit of a pushover and I guess he realised that if he made me feel guilty I would eventually give in. And I did. Just so many instances of him pushing my boundaries. Now the update: I called my brother on Saturday morning and he came and helped me pack up everything my bf left in my apartment. Then I texted my boyfriend to break up with him. Maybe I should have done it in person but honestly, I don’t want to see him again. He called a bunch before I answered. He was confused. At first he tried to ask me what was wrong, what had happened. He got angry when I told him, saying he can’t believe I was breaking up with him over a “minor disagreement” and when I said him wanting me to kill my horse isn’t a minor disagreement, he said I must be misremembering. I eventually hung up, texted him that his things were packed and free to pick up on the first floor of my building anytime. Then I blocked him. Haven’t heard from him since. I was able to change my locks yesterday (monday) thankfully. Through mutual friends I got in touch with his ex gf and we DM’d on instagram. I don’t really want to say everything that she told me as it’s not my story to tell. But I will say I’m very happy I got out right now, this early. Since Friday when I posted I’ve spent pretty much all day everyday with Lady, my friends and family. I haven’t been this happy in months, can’t believe it took Reddit to get me here lol. For all those worried about Lady’s safety: I too am a little worried but it’s eased by the fact that A) he never went to the stable with me so I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know where it is and B) while I live in a country with a lot stricter gun laws than the us, the old man who owns the stable is a hunter and has assured me, with a lil wink, he will keep an eye out for any strangers lurking around. So that’s all, I am safe and so is Lady. Both of us are a lot happier than we were four days ago and a lot of it is thanks to all of you, so again, thank so much for all the kindness. Edit: [Horse tax](https://www.reddit.com/user/nohorsethrow/comments/snqp3m/couldnt_figure_out_another_way_to_upload_an_image/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)   [**Reddit might have saved my life**](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/znk64x/reddit_might_have_saved_my_life/) - 16 Dec 2022 *10 months later* I posted on reddit almost a year ago seeking help and advice on a bizarre situation that happened in my relationship. At the time I was in a somewhat abusive relationship, or at least the beginning of it. I read my post back a while ago and realised how much I sugar coated things at the time. Part of me was still in denial I think. I didn’t describe any of the aggressive outburst. The yelling, throwing things, pushing, grabbing. He never hit me, it never got that far, but in hindsight I think that’s where things were heading. Still people on Reddit saw red flags and told me to get away. I guess thousands of people telling you something is very effective. I broke up with him that day. I never told my family that reddit was the reasons I left that day. I felt (still feel) bad that their concerns and warnings weren’t enough to make me leave before it was too late, but random internet strangers were. I’ve only told my therapist. Sorry that you’re not getting more credit irl, reddit folk. This week I found out that my ex boyfriend has been arrested for the murder of his girlfriend. News travels fast between small towns. I knew he had a new girlfriend. They met fairly quickly after I dumped him. I didn’t know her or who she was, just heard it from other people. I looked up her instagram when I found out he was arrested. She seems nice, from what little I can make out from pictures and captions. I feel guilty that I didn’t track her down when they met and warned her, but when I found out he had another girlfriend all I could think was “thank god, then he will forget about me”. Does that make me an awful person? Maybe? I don’t know. And I could never imagine he would do something like this. Even now it doesn’t feel real. Yes, he had anger management issues, but murder? It’s just difficult to comprehend. I’m rambling, sorry. It’s been a crazy few days, but I feel really grateful to the people on reddit. Because that could have been me if I had stayed with him. If people hadn’t shaken me awake. So thank you reddit people. Also Fuck you Adam. Hope you rot in hell 🖕🏻   [Relevant comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/znk64x/reddit_might_have_saved_my_life/j0ie0qf/) OMG I was one of those strangers telling you to get out. I remember your update and being happy that you got out and your horse was ok and protected by your friend in case he tried something. If you had tried to warn her it would have went one of several ways: 1. She believed you and got out. Then he would be angry at you and redirect his anger back at you. 2. She didn't believe you and he would have painted you as the jealous ex trying to get back with him. And she would have had the same unfortunate fate. As Soayherder said, do not let survivor's guilt affect you There wasn't anything you could have done. **Reminder - I am not the original poster.** *OP, I saw that you replied on the previous BoRU thread - so glad that you and Lady got out of there and that you are safe. I couldn't agree more with the above commenter. This is not your fault.*

AITA for refusing to sell my horse?

NEW UPDATE

outofrhyme

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ztp3vh/aita_for_refusing_to_sell_my_horse/

ztq2i9

**I am NOT OP. Original post by** u/treeonreddit **in** r/AmItheAsshole   [**ORIGINAL**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/heoy9x/aita_for_changing_the_package_pickup_each_time/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) \- 24th June 2020 So pretty much, there’s this guy who keeps ordering things with my email. He isn’t using any other personal information of mine so i don’t think it’s a privacy concern. So back to the point, I will occasionally get emails from random websites about an order confirmation. I’ve never heard of most of those websites and I know for a fact none of my family members used my email to buy something. With most emails, there’s a number, name and an address (I’m assuming it’s the persons address) attached. I’ve tried texting the number and even calling but I’ve never gotten an answer. I’d always get emails from ups to confirm the pickup/drop off area. Ever since I’ve gotten the emails, I always change the location for delivery. So instead of it being delivered at his doorstep, it gets shipped to a post office 20 miles away. He can’t change that since like I said, it’s all attached to my email. I recently got an email from the guy and turns out, the reason he keeps writing my email is because his and mine are both almost identical. (Imagine mine is “abc” his is “acb”) so he always switches one letter therefore I get the emails. In his email, he calls me an asshole for making the pickup so far. When I asked him why can’t he just use his own email he said: It’s always a typo I do and I don’t feel like fixing it because it takes too much time. I’m not even joking, that’s exactly what he said. So AITA for sabotaging this guys packages?   Verdict - NTA (Not the A-hole) ​ [**UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hpgcwl/update_aita_for_changing_the_package_pickup_each/) \- 12th July 2020 A few of you asked for an update so may as well. First of all, there was a lot of questions on the last post. Sorry for not answering any of them, the post got big really quick and I guess I got overwhelmed. So to answer a few questions, why didn’t I cancel his orders? I would get emails from ups and from there, I can only change the location of the package. I believe if I wanted to cancel it, it would have to be from the company itself. I tried emailing them but they said that it was an honest mistake from the other guy so there was no need to cancel (it wasn’t an honest mistake, it was like the 10th time it happened) Another question was, why 20 miles away? That’s the furthest location it was able to give me for some reason so I figured I’d stick with it. Ok so now for the update. He ended up messaging me again and called me out once again saying I’m an asshole and I ruined his day by making him drive 20 miles both ways. I just said that it’s exhausting getting emails that should be for him and that as long as he keeps using mine, I’ll be putting his packages further and further away (I can’t actually do more miles, it was just to scare him) I also used the analogy many of you wrote in the comments. “It takes less time to correct the email then to drive 20 miles” I think this really opened up his eyes because on the next message he sent me, he apologized and said that I was right, it shouldn’t happen again. All in all, I think things went relatively smooth. I’m hoping that it doesn’t happen again or else I’ll just change the location once again haha TL;DR: He apologized for using my email, says it won’t happen again   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

OOP - AITA for changing the package pickup each time someone uses my email for orders?

REPOST

raredontstare

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ztq2i9/oop_aita_for_changing_the_package_pickup_each/

ztseaf

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/throwra0021 in r/relationship_advice** ---   [**Found out my best friend (25 F) has been using my pictures (26 F) to catfish a guy she’s been talking to since 2015**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/fj4wgi/found_out_my_best_friend_25_f_has_been_using_my/) - 15 March 2020 Man... I don’t know where to go from here so I thought I’d go to reddit. My best friend, we’ll call her Maggie, and I met our freshman year of college. We are now roommates and moved in together two years ago. In 2015, my best friend spent spring break a couple states away, and matched with a guy on tinder. When she came back to campus she immediately told me about him and how amazing he was and how they only went out to dinner once (edit: *this was obviously a lie*) but that they were talking 24/7. I got super excited and asked to see a pic. That was the only picture of him she’s ever shown me. Over the past five years he’s literally been her whole world. She talks about him constantly. She always has her nose in her phone. She gets clingy when he takes too long to text back, she’s cried to me a few times because she’s lurked on his social media and seen he was around other girls (my roommate doesn’t have social media herself). I had asked a few times why they have never met up again and she said they’re both too busy and don’t have the money for the trip. I even told her that he could stay with us and that would save some money. He’s sent presents and even flowers on Valentine’s Day every year. They’ve basically been dating this whole time. So yesterday my roommate picked up a shift at work and was gone. I get a knock on our door and I open it to a guy. He says hi, and I give a confused hi? And then he barges in and scoops me up into a hug. He starts saying “I thought you were working? I was hoping your roommate was here so I could surprise you when you got back” And I am so confused. I immediately get down and back away and let him know I have absolutely no clue what he’s talking about. My brain can’t even process what’s happening. Then *he* looks confused, and says, “Maggie?” And I’m like no.... that’s my roommate? My roommate and I look nothing alike so I’m even more confused. Then something kind of clicks and I think oh my god is this the guy she’s been dating? So I say wait, are you Adam? And he gives me a very slow yesssss, and I get excited and say “oh my god I bet Maggie is going to flip out! I can’t believe you’re here.” His demeanor completely changes. He asks me what I’m talking about. I’m Maggie? And I tell him no, I’m Summer. Maggie’s roommate. At this point I’m still completely missing something he has just pieced together. He just says “holy fuck” and looks like he doesn’t know what to say. Eventually he asks if he can sit down. I invite him in. He then proceeds to tell me for the past five years, he’s thought he’s been talking to *me*. Every picture he’s ever seen of Maggie has actually been pictures of me. I’m completely dumbfounded and we don’t know what to say to each other at first. So he gets out his phone and shows me proof. He has tons of pictures of me saved on his phone, and went to their messages and showed me proof that she’s been sending them to him. I felt and still feel completely sick to my stomach. I get out my phone and show him real pictures of her. I tell him maybe they could just talk when she gets off of work? And he’s really pissed at this point. I say maybe we should call her first and let her know he’s here. So I do that and she starts flipping out. Saying she’s not coming home. Tells him to leave and that she won’t talk to him. He calls her and starts yelling at her over the phone. After everyone calms she eventually comes home. He’s hurt and accusing, she’s crying, I’m sitting there awkwardly. She tells him that she’s still the same person he’s had feelings for and he screams at her, “no, I thought I was in love with your roommate!” And that completely makes her break down so I tell him maybe he should leave for the night and everyone should have their own space. He agrees and after he leaves she goes completely psychotic on me and starts throwing shit around the living room. Tells me she hates me, I start crying, it’s a mess. I left to stay with a friend and haven’t been back so I don’t know what’s gone down. I feel like I have no idea who the person I’m living with is and I feel weirdly violated. Do I move out? Do I try to call her? She hasn’t even texted me. I don’t know how to deal with this situation ——****UPDATE****—— Thank you guys for all of your advice and comments, many saying you’ve been in mine or Adam’s position, it’s made me feel better. I’m gonna go ahead and just post an update, because I don’t think there will be more of an outcome than this. I ended up having a phone call with Adam, mostly because I wanted to know about the pictures she’s sent. Turns out she’s sent pics of me in my underwear, and nudes that aren’t actually of me. Or her. So we’re assuming she got those from google. He feels really bad and is actually having a hard time with all of this. I assured him I don’t blame him at all for the underwear pics, or anything like that. He ended up telling me that they actually *have* FaceTimed, but she would never show her face, only the top of her head/hair which is dyed a similar color to mine (never thought anything of this, now I think it might be really weird) and her excuse was she felt like she looked bad on video, was self conscious, didn’t have makeup on, etc. He said he didn’t think it was weird. Idk. He also told me he’s tried a ton of times to arrange visits to meet and she’s came up with excuses every time. Said that he’s been mostly content to talk through text/over the phone up until this point. Also said he’s going to try to reach out to her one more time to talk about everything but that he’s moving on. As for me, I’m not sure I can break my lease yet but I’m going to go ahead and move out and in with a friend until my lease is over. We briefly talked when I went to my apartment, and she sort of half apologized but is still pretty hostile and defensive. So I’m going to give her space. I feel bad for her, but I don’t think our friendship is going to survive this whole thing. Anyway, this has been some crazy shit, and I appreciate all of the responses I got. Y’all are awesome.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

Found out my best friend (25 F) has been using my pictures (26 F) to catfish a guy she’s been talking to since 2015

INCONCLUSIVE

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ztseaf/found_out_my_best_friend_25_f_has_been_using_my/

ztsvm9

[removed]

My wife stole our daughter's college money to fund her shopping addiction and wants me to take the blame

INCONCLUSIVE

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ztsvm9/my_wife_stole_our_daughters_college_money_to_fund/

ztwgwz

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/girlwithinternet in r/amitheasshole** ---   [**WIBTA by not telling a guy I've been dating for a month that I'm having artificial insemination to be a single mother?**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/h7k8dj/wibta_by_not_telling_a_guy_ive_been_dating_for_a/) - 12 June 2020 Prior to lockdown, I'd decided to be a single mother by choice. The journey to accepting this has taken 2 years, and included counselling and a very thorough plan to ensure I could do this alone. I was happy with my decision, and I was at a good place in life where i realised my desire to be a mother was stronger than looking for partner, which may or may not happen - and with my fertility declining, I chose to go down this path as a solo woman. Right before I was due to have artificial insemination with donor sperm, the pandemic hit, and treatments were cancelled. There was no timeline for when things may reopen. For a few days I was devastated as I was so mentally prepared for this, and then I picked myself up and decided to park my plan - after all I didn't have a choice. I downloaded a dating app out of curiosity and figured that I could still chat to guys and see what happened, without any expectation really. I've been talking with a guy (let's call him G) and it's only been a month, so very early stage. However, we've met up twice (with a 3rd meeting planned), spoken many times on the phone, and I get a really good feeling from him. For the first time in years, quite frankly, I feel emotionally connected with a man, and it feels completely natural and promising. During this time, my clinic called me to say they have had approval to open, and do i wish to go ahead this month with my treatment. I want to be a mother more than ever, so I said yes, and I'm now on medication with my appointment set for next week. While there's no guarantee i'll get pregnant on the first go, I have a conflict in my mind about informing G of my plan. On the one hand it's at such an early stage of our romance without yet being anything committed that I feel like I'm bringing something up prematurely. On the other hand, I wonder what may happen as time goes on - am I just delaying the inevitable? Is it deceptive of me not to inform him of something so fundamental in my life? A friend told me that I'd sabotage a potential relationship with him by telling him of this plan right now, and that a man who is really into me will accept me even if I'm pregnant, and that more time is needed for him to really get to know me. But in my mind I'm wondering if it will piss him off by suddenly saying 'hey I'm pregnant, btw'. We've spoken loosely about wanting kids in the future, so I know he'd like a family, but it was a brief, passing comment. I'm also not willing to wait to get into a long term relationship - and we are far too early on to be thinking about a family together. WIBTA by keeping quiet about the plan for now? Verdict: YTA   [**UPDATE: A month ago I was told I WBTA for not telling a date about my plans to be a single mother, so I told him**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i4sa5r/update_a_month_ago_i_was_told_i_wbta_for_not/) - 6 August 2020 A month ago I asked if I WBTA for not telling a guy I had only started dating that I had plans to become a single mother. I was scared I'd lose him but also felt I would be deceiving him by not telling him, thus making the investment in our relationship unfair. The comments were pretty much unanimous in that I'm an asshole, and I needed to tell him, and this validated my decision to go forth and be honest, as nervous as I was. I explained my situation about taking 2 yrs to come to this decision, how my fertility clinic had shut due to Covid which was why I had gone back onto dating apps. I explained how my clinic had reopened after meeting him, and how important it was to me to continue in my journey to become a mother. I knew this was 'baggage' he hadn't expected and that there was every chance he would step away from the situation. Well, he didn't. We're now in a committed relationship and he's been supporting me in my journey. I've had 2 unsuccessful artificial inseminations with donor sperm (my original plan), and we've spoken about having a child together. As early on as it may seem, he told me my honesty made him consider his own future and how he really wants a family some day, and how he has admiration for me being honest about my situation and how he wants to help my fulfil my desires to be a mother, whether with him or with donor sperm - either way he wants to be a part of my life. I wanted to provide this update as a positive outcome has come out of being labelled an asshole and it pushed me to do the right thing, which has in turn meant I have the most understanding and accepting bf. Had I kept this info from him it would have played on my conscience, as well as most likely have caused him to not trust me. So thank you : ) **EDIT -** Gosh, I didn't think this post would blow up in this way. Thanks for the lovely words of support, and also those of you taking the time to provide food for thought of co-parenting and step-parenting. This is new territory for me, and I don't know anyone else in my day to day life who has been in this situation, so it's so valuable for me to hear your views and gain new perspectives. Thank you, kind Reddit community.   [**UPDATE (2): I was told I WBTA for not telling a date about my plans to be a single mother, so I told him**](https://www.reddit.com/user/GirlWithInternet/comments/pr66vy/update_2_i_was_told_i_wbta_for_not_telling_a_date/) - 19 September 2021 I tried posting the below to AITA as I'd had a number of requests for an update, but it turns out you can't post more than 1 update, so I'm posting this to my profile instead for anyone who may be interested. Thanks for reading and for being interested. I wanted to put out an update after receiving a number of requests and good wishes. It's been 14 months since the last post. I commenced fertility treatment back in June 2020 just after my 3rd date with G, having told him of my plans. After 3 failed rounds of IUI (insemination), the last of which ended in an early miscarriage, I switched to IVF, and fell pregnant the first round in October 2020. I was with G when the clinic called to confirm my pregnancy, and he was genuinely thrilled for me. Me and G continued to date during this time. Last summer is full of lovely memories of park picnics in the sun, long scenic walks, cooking dinners together and generally wholesome hanging out. My country fell into a strict lockdown in Dec 2020 at 3 months pregnant. We continued our relationship long distance, as he'd moved from my city back home temporarily to look after his mother. We found ways to keep things alive - sending each other gifts for example. G moved back to the city earlier this year, and throughout the final stages of my pregnancy we continued to see each other. 2 months ago I gave birth to a boy - B. I was only allowed one consistent guest which was my birth partner - my mother. I kept G up to date and sent videos/had calls from the hospital. He couldn't be with me physically, but he'd packed a whole bunch of useful things for my hospital bag, and ensured things were as comfortable for me as possible.  G describes my son as an extension of me. Despite not being the biological father, he wants to play a fatherly role, which warms my heart. I've been learning a lot about what I need to do to ensure B can thrive without a biological father, and have great male role models around him, like G. It hasn't all been plain sailing though. I moved in with my mother when I commenced fertility treatment (that was always the plan to help support me - not financially but rather to help look after B) and she was cynical of me dating someone who wasn't the biological father. She found the whole thing unconventional (which it is!) and unrealistic. A week ago they met for the first time, and she liked him and is slowly accepting him. B is my world and my priority. Me and G are still on a learning curve to figure things out, but what we're sure about is that we want to build a life together. Thank you to you all who took the time to offer constructive and encouraging advice. I sometimes wonder if I'd be with G had I not told him the truth about my fertility plans, and r/AmItheAsshole made that decision very clear for me, so thank you.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

WIBTA by not telling a guy I've been dating for a month that I'm having artificial insemination to be a single mother?

REPOST

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ztwgwz/wibta_by_not_telling_a_guy_ive_been_dating_for_a/

ztyfiz

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/drunyx in r/relationship_advice** trigger warnings: >!suicide, eating disorders, self-harm!< ---   [**My [F24] boyfriend [M24] is worried that I will gain weight and it pisses me off**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rz1e7r/my_f24_boyfriend_m24_is_worried_that_i_will_gain/) - 8 January 2022 I'll start with some backstory because I think it's important. I'm sorry if this is long. TW: suicide, eating disorders and self-harm. I [F24] have bipolar disorder, currently pretty much under control (I only get a bit depressed sometimes and it's hard to concentrate; therapy + meds). When my boyfriend \[M24\] and I started dating over 5 years ago, I didn't have my diagnosis yet, but I was under treatment for depression (it wasn't working though). When he asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend, I was honest about everything. "Everything" included: very heavy and almost daily suicidal thoughts, self-harm, and recurring bulimia. Back then, and ever since I was around 12/13, I put most of my worth on my weight, mostly due to social and family pressure to be thin. Let me say that I have never EVER been overweight, not even close. I've always known this, but as eating disorders go, it wasn't enough. I wanted to be thin. If I felt I had eating too much, I would throw up and cut myself. I mostly got better, but certain comments threw me back to this thoughts until I got stuck. My bf knew and knows this. This was never an issue with him. He always made me feel beautiful and desired. Until one year into our relationship I got gastritis and lost 6kg. I was almost underweight, but I felt beautiful because I was once again thin. However, I eventually got better and started to gain weight again because, well, my body wasn't made to be underweight I guess. I've been weighting roughly the same for about 3 years, and I'm still thinner than when I met my bf. I struggled with gaining weight but I'm proud to say that I did mostly ok. My bf does seem to have a problem with me gaining weight, though. Around 3 years ago, he wouldn't touch me in a sexual way. I felt like he didn't like my body because he would avert his eyes if I changed in front of me and would never initiate sex. When I tried to, most of the times he would have some excuse. After months, I confronted him about it and after a lot of pressure he ended up saying that "he didn't find me attractive after I gained weight". Mind you, at that point I weighed around 3kg less than when he met me, and given my height that's a big difference. He apologized on the spot and I didn't leave his house right then and there because it was 1 am. We talked about it, I told him how it made me feel but I forgave him. I asked him to go to a therapist (because he was also having panic attacks) but he refused. I told him I could probably never forget what he said, though. However, he would still make comments and give me looks. He would pressure me to exercise with him (a big trigger for me) or comment on what/how much I was eating. Each time I explained how shitty it made me feel and that he could be triggering my bulimia or self-harm. Each time he said he would stop and would really look like he hated himself for saying that. I have stopped feeling that he's attracted to me for a long time. We have sex maybe once a month, and I usually initiate, but I just don't feel good about my body around him. It all came to a head last week when I went to see him after taking public transportation on a VERY hot summer day, got there super tired, fixed myself a plate of pasta, and the first thing he says is "are you going to eat all that?". I burst into tears and asked him to tell what the fuck his problem is, and he ended up admitting that he's scared I might gain weight. Why? He doesn't know. I haven't gained weight in years, but I will probably gain weight when I grow older I guess. Won't he like me then? I asked him to speak to a therapist but he refused, so I told him to at least talk to a friend because I couldn't be with him like this anymore. I left and when he told me that he talked to his friend I realized that it wasn't enough, because I can't trust him anymore when he tells me how beautiful I am or how much he likes my body. I just think he's lying. I basically told him to talk to a therapist because I couldn't stay with him if he made me feel like that. He said he would and we haven't really texted all week. I have always hated my body (not all the time right now) but I never felt I wasn't attractive to a man before. I'm sorry it's so long. I guess my question is, how do I trust him again after this? How do I stop feeling so angry at him for saying things that he knows hurt me? I really don't want to break up. TL;DR My boyfriend keeps making negative comments about how much I eat or what my body looks like even though he knows it hurts me because I'm recovering from an eating disorder. He says he'll stop but I don't know how to trust him. **UPDATE:** I'm not sure if anybody's gonna read this update or not, but I'm writing it in case anybody's interested. I read all of your comments and even though most of you told me to break up with him, I haven't. If we had been together for a few months or a couple of years, I probably would have without hesitation. But I didn't. I didn't write our whole relationship story on the post because I didn't want to make it too long, and in reality nothing really justifies or excuses what he's been doing. However, I would like to say that besides these incidents, we have a great relationship and he isn't usually a dick. One of the latest examples is how he and his family let me stay almost all of 2021 with them because my family is heavily dysfunctional (living on my own in my country is basically out of the question because of its shit economy). His family basically adopted me, which is part of the reason why it would hurt so much to leave him. I told him yesterday to go to therapy and he had until today to make an appointment, otherwise I would break up with him, and that **maybe** that way we'll fix this. I told him everything I felt and I think that the fear of losing me actually made him listen (he should have listened anyway, I know). I said that we'll se if it works with therapy because there are a lot of things that I'm not sure I can get pass, like the fact that, even though he has never said it directly for fear of hurting my feelings or whatever, he doesn't find me attractive anymore. I'm still mulling over that one. It sucks that it had to come down to an ultimatum, but at least he seems really willing to fix things. He tried to get an appointment with a psychologist today, and he'll get an answer tomorrow. I had an appointment with my therapist (which had been paused during the holidays) and she recommended I took some distance from him for the moment, so I didn't go over to see him today as planned. When he asked why I told him I was still pissed off and didn't want to see him. I think it will be good for him to see how different his life is without me, for the worse. It is also very fortunate that I am so angry, because I feel the sadness of this situation for minutes at a time, and it has kept any other feelings (body image issues or self-harm ideation) at bay. I'm just trying to keep myself distracted for the moment. I haven't ruled out breaking up with him like most of you suggested, but given the fact that we both have always planned to be together for the rest of our lives and this is not a casual relationship, I'm willing to give it a last chance. I'm also willing to let him know that he needs to earn it. I feel like breaking up with him right now, after he said he is willing to fix whatever issues he may have, wouldn't be good for me. Thank you for your comments, except that one guy who said "the crazy ones are supposed to fuck you better". Fuck you. I won't be able to update on this post any further, but if anyone's interested to know what happened in a few days/weeks, you're more than welcome to message me.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

My [F24] boyfriend [M24] is worried that I will gain weight and it pisses me off

INCONCLUSIVE

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ztyfiz/my_f24_boyfriend_m24_is_worried_that_i_will_gain/

zu0pe9

[removed]

AITA for for taking someone’s full cart at Walmart?

CONCLUDED

threpost

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zu0pe9/aita_for_for_taking_someones_full_cart_at_walmart/

zu9u6t

[removed]

Beloved Blanket is in Tatters - Redditor asks for help from the Crochet community

CONCLUDED

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zu9u6t/beloved_blanket_is_in_tatters_redditor_asks_for/

zuabtg

** I am not OP. Original post by u/Nowjamessayswtf on r/MaliciousCompliance ** This is a super quick one, but a satisfying comeuppance for a literal Karen. [Lawn Karen](https://www.reddit.com/r/MaliciousCompliance/comments/z8qbtk/lawn_karen/) Nov 30 22 So I make a living doing landscape maintenance, mostly for commercial properties and wealthy home owners. Unsurprisingly, the wealthy homeowners tend to be the most difficult customers. I could probably write a book with the amount of ridiculous requests I receive. I added a new customer, Karen (real name), to my weekly route recently and the first visit to her home was yesterday. Using google maps, I bid the property for one hour of work. When I showed up, the place was a mess. It hadn’t been serviced in months. I spent two hours making this place look about as perfect as it could. I cleaned up two half dead palm trees, trimmed all the bushes, mowed, edged, string trimmed, and cleaned up all the leaves I was able to. An hour later Karen calls my company (me) to complain about the work done. Apparently “they” blew leaves into the corner of her property and left them. Well, that’s complete bullshit but okay, I’ll entertain the nonsense. The leaves in question were already in the back corner of the property embedded in the pine straw as they’d been there for quite awhile. Standard practice is blowing out any LOOSE leaves from garden beds and mulching or bagging them, which had been done. Karen didn’t really want to hear reason when I tried to explain this and insisted I send someone out to get the remaining leaves. I went back and got every leaf off of her property, including over 75% of the pine straw. Of course she called again to complain about her missing pine straw, at which point I reiterated the same thing I told her before. I let her know I’d be happy to replace the pine straw for $400. I haven’t heard back yet. [Lawn Karen update](https://www.reddit.com/r/MaliciousCompliance/comments/znr5yw/lawn_karen_update/) Dec 16 22 TLDR version: A customer bitched about me not removing all the leaves from her property, specifically the ones that were embedded in her pine straw. I went back and removed every leaf, along with the majority of her pine straw. She unsurprisingly called to bitch about the missing pine straw, at which point I told her that I would be willing to replace it for 400$. So a week after the events in my initial post happened, I got a call from Karen. She asked if I was still willing to do the pine straw job for 400$. I told her I’d have no problem with it but asked why she’d want to use my services again when she wasn’t satisfied with my prior work. Apparently this lady “discontinued services” from 3 other landscape companies in the area and was having trouble finding anyone to do the job. I’m guessing that means they all fired her as a customer for being fucking ridiculous. I went and did the job this morning and upon finishing, she was at least content enough with the work that she requested bi weekly landscape maintenance moving forward. I politely declined and when she asked why, I told her the truth. “Ma’am, you seem to be a bit unreasonable and I don’t have the desire to deal with it”. It didn’t go over too well, but she paid for the work today and I left. Anyone wondering why I’d go back for the one job in the first place….it was an easy 200$ profit for an hour of labor, why not? ** Reminder: I am not the Original Poster. **

Lawn Karen

CONCLUDED

swtogirl

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zuabtg/lawn_karen/

zudcu7

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/aridisol- in r/advice** ---   [**I have aspergers and sometimes i can't tell if I'm being strange. Is this a weird christmas gift to give to someone?**](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/kd9n4r/i_have_aspergers_and_sometimes_i_cant_tell_if_im/) - 14 December 2020 I told my roommate that I got my older brother a meteorite for Christmas. He started laughing and said it was really random/strange to get a meteorite for someone. I asked if he thought it was a bad gift and he said no but he was still laughing. I thought it was nice. Is it weird? Edit: I think the way I wrote my question might have made my roommate sound rude maybe? My roommate is actually a really nice guy. A lot of people want me to post an update after christmas about whether my brother likes it so I will probably do that :) . **UPDATE!** My brother loved it :) he wanted to know where he could read up more about the specific meteorite that I got for him (which dropped in spain). Thanks for all the encouragement everyone.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

I have aspergers and sometimes I can't tell if I'm being strange. Is this a weird christmas gift to give to someone?

REPOST

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zudcu7/i_have_aspergers_and_sometimes_i_cant_tell_if_im/

zugphb

[removed]

my real mom showed me herself and gave a blowjob

CONCLUDED

lifeisnotgood777

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zugphb/my_real_mom_showed_me_herself_and_gave_a_blowjob/

zulz1f

[removed]

I (28F) cheated because I thought my husband (33M) cheated - he has left the house and has not said a single word to me. PLEASE HELP!!

ONGOING

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zulz1f/i_28f_cheated_because_i_thought_my_husband_33m/

zume7q

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/itsbrittanybetches in r/amitheasshole** ---   [**AITA for cutting my hair after a friend's death despite a contract that dictates what I'm allowed to do - or not to do - with my hair?**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kscxoj/aita_for_cutting_my_hair_after_a_friends_death/) - 7 January 2021 I've "lost" my job and have been ostracized by my family, so I figured I'd come to the court of public opinion. One of my best friends of over ten years lost her battle with the big C word on Christmas. Fuck cancer, y'all. I'm not handling it well, tbh. I feel like a really crazy person. I literally haven't stopped crying. Through all the tumultuous emotions, I decided that I wanted to cut my hair. I don't know why, but I felt like I wanted to get rid of a psychological weight and my hair was suffocating me. I 'model' and I've been doing it pretty much my whole life. My family is upper middle class due to my income. My parents 'work' as my mangers, even though I had actual, hired, experienced managers throughout the years. My dad works part time elsewhere, but I am the main breadwinner in the family. Part of my current contract was that I can't cut my hair without prior consent from managing parties or else my contract could be rendered void. It wasn't really an issue until now. For a week, I tried to get consent, but nobody wanted to give it. So, over the weekend, I locked myself in my bathroom and chopped off almost all of my hair. I didn't go as extreme as 2007 Brittany, but I was definitely channeling her energy. Now I look like Steve from Stranger Things. I don't feel a lot better, but it was kind of cathartic. I'm glad I did it. My life changed, and I physically reflect that now. Now I'm unemployed, though, cause I was released from my contract and as soon as I'm done with high school, my family wants me gone. I know that I jeopardized my family's financial security, and my parents are scrambling to figure out how to pay the bills because I may have been an immature asshole, but, I dunno, maybe it's grief, but I feel pretty apathetic about it. I wanted to grieve in my own way. Am I the asshole for that? Verdict: NTA **UPDATE: 6.35PM** So I talked to a few folks today, and I was sent a copy of the email exchanges that ultimately ended my contract. My contract was set to expire in June, but I wasn't booking until May to give myself time to finish up my last semester in high school. Instead of terminating my contract or 'firing me', i was released from my contract in a really nice way. I won't copy/paste, but the gist is; Here at Company we value the health and safety of all our employees and it seems that Brittany is going through a hard time. Let's release her from her responsibility so she can enjoy school, and should she decide to come back after high school or freshman year of college, she'll be welcomed back into the agency. They even sent a .pdf of therapists or counselors that I might wanna talk to. I talked to my old manager and she set me up in contact with a lawyer and already has access to copies of my documents, which she sent me in .pdf, too. I also contacted Jasmine's mom, who said that I can move in to finish hs if I'm kicked out in March. I'm not gunna say much, but what my parents were doing was definitely illegal unless I have trusts, which I doubt bc my parents both have nice new cars and stuff. I also emailed my school guidance counselor. I have a new email contact, and I'll be sent my financial records ASAP. So... yeah. Posting this morning, I honestly felt like an ungrateful, whiny teen who fucked over her family, but you guys made me realize that my life is *definitely* not normal or fair, and I thank you all for that, and for the immeasurably kind words you've all given me. I'll keep fighting! Edit: I'm an idiot and somehow blocked someone while scrolling in my inbox.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

AITA for cutting my hair after a friend's death despite a contract that dictates what I'm allowed to do - or not to do - with my hair?

INCONCLUSIVE

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zume7q/aita_for_cutting_my_hair_after_a_friends_death/

zunrzl

[removed]

He leaves after 8 months when she wanted an open relationship

CONCLUDED

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zunrzl/he_leaves_after_8_months_when_she_wanted_an_open/

zuo2us

[removed]

Ex wanted an open relationship with BF. 8 months later, BF gets a new GF and Ex wants him back

NEW UPDATE

Electrical_Touch_379

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zuo2us/ex_wanted_an_open_relationship_with_bf_8_months/

zup9ts

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/throwra314159314 in r/relationship_advice** ---   [**I [23/f] walked in on my dad [47/m] and one of my best friends [24/f] having sex... don't know what to do.**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/igbo4e/i_23f_walked_in_on_my_dad_47m_and_one_of_my_best/) - 25 August 2020 Apologies if this is kind of all over the place, I'm still trying to sort out all of my feelings. My dad raised me as a single parent, and he's pretty much the greatest dad in the universe. He's my best friend, and we do everything together; hobbies, you name it. He's always the one I go to for advice/to vent. Very approachable, kind hearted, understanding, open minded. Anyway, tldr, he's awesome. While I was growing up, he had a few short relationships but nothing that lasted more than a month or two. He always told me that I was the only girl for him, but tbh I think he never really got over my mom (died from complications in childbirth). My friend Jess (not real name) is also one of my best friends. We met at university, and have been very close for years, always had each other's backs, always been 100% honest with each other... I'm not currently in a relationship, but if I was ever to get married, I'd always thought Jess would be my MoH. So anyway this past weekend, now that quarantine is winding down (Canada), I brought three friends up to our family cottage for the weekend while the weather is still good and because we're anticipating having to go back into social distancing mode once schools reopen. The same weekend, my dad and his cousin (who share ownership of the cottage with a third cousin) were also up there fishing. It was actually a total coincidence that we were up at the same time; didn't know we would be til this past thursday. It's a really big cottage though so no biggie, there's tons of room for everyone (dad's grandparents were loaded). A good time was had by all until saturday night when I woke up at like 4 am to go to the bathroom, but noticed a light on downstairs, and heard people talking. Decided to go see what was up, only when I got to the kitchen, I was greeted with the sight of Jess riding my dad. Eye bleach pls. I freaked out, and ran back to my room, and I was basically crying, I think? I'm not too sure tbh. A minute or two later, my dad came up to talk to me... Apparently they've been doing this for over a year. He said that she initiated it, which I do believe because Jess has always been a bit promiscuous if I'm being honest, and like I said, dad hasn't really been with too many women since mom died, and my friends always tell me my dad is attractive. He also said they've never done anything before when I was around, but they hadn't seen each other since quarantine started, so when they realized they would be up at the cottage at the same time... well... ya... He told me he would put a stop to it if it made me too uncomfortable, but that he really likes her and the feeling is apparently mutual. I told him I would need some time to process things. I drove home myself sunday morning, and I haven't spoken to him since. Jess has tried to reach out, but I've been too weirded out to respond. i think I find it especially weird because Jess and I look *very* similar. To the point that we're frequently mistaken for sisters. My other two friends who were there have no idea what happened that night, and they're also looking for answers, but I haven't said anything to them about it. I just.. I don't know what to think about all of this. My dad and Jess are basically my two favourite people, and they *do* have a lot of interests in common... I'm also realizing in retrospect that my dad has seemed happier this past year than he has in a while, and that Jess hasn't been involved with any other guys the whole time, which is unusual for her. I know the age gap is big, but ideally I would like them both to be happy but at the same time it's just... ugh, I just really feel weird af and kind of gross about the whole thing. Pls help. *edit* to all the people asking if its possible my dad is attracted to Jess because she looks like my mom, I dug out some old photos of my mom that I haven't looked at im years and... wow. I never made the connection because they have completely different hair, but yes. Jess is the spitting image of my mother. She looks more like my mom than *I* do. In the meantime I've told both of them I want a few days to myself before I see either of them, and they're both very understanding. Both have also independently told me how sorry they are and that they will stop seeing each other. I will make an update post once I've had a chance to talk to each one in person. Thank you all for the well wishes. **TL;DR: Walked in on my dad and friend banging, apparently they've been doing it a while, and are possibly in a relationship.**   [**Update:I [23/f] walked in on my dad [47/m] and one of my best friends [24/f] having sex... don't know what to do.**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rmwbo1/updatei_23f_walked_in_on_my_dad_47m_and_one_of_my/) - 23 December 2021 Hi, so I don't know if anyone remembers or cares about this post I made last year, but I said I was going to update and never did. Welllll, there's been some big developments since then so here we are! First off, updated ages: I'm now 24, Jess is 26, Dad is 48. So after a few days after my first post, I met with Jess again in person and we talked about what happened. Basically she and my dad got talking at my birthday in 2019. They're both big fitness nuts and dad had been looking to get into rock climbing, which Jess does, so she offered to take him, and eventually I guess they ended up as sort of an unofficial couple. The whole time they'd been together they both felt guilty about hiding it from me, but she kept going because she'd never felt as good about any other relationship than she did with my dad, and I believe her. She usually gets bored of guys and moves on pretty quickly, but during that whole period I don't recall her seeing any other men, which in retrospect was a bit odd. Anyway, they used the lock-downs last year as a convenient excuse to try and end things between them, but then later on when they saw each other at the cottage, it just sort of clicked back into place, leading to… the inciting incident. Jess apologized over and over and said it was never her intention to hurt me (Especially not the way I found out about them). She also told me after I left they broke up for good and would not see each other anymore. We both got very emotional and cried; she was so afraid that she'd completely ruined our friendship, but honestly I was afraid of the same thing. I love Jess so much and I didn't want to lose her either, so we agreed to put it behind us. Then a little while later I talked to my dad again, and we made up too. The thing is though, I still felt pretty shitty. Because during each of our talks I asked both of them if it wasn't for the awkward situation with me, could they see the relationship continuing long-term? and both said yes. I would absolutely hate to be the one standing in the way of these two, my two favourite people, being happy. So after my talk with dad I basically told him if he wanted to keep going with Jess to just go for it, and I would try not to be weird about it. He was resistant, but I assured him I'm a big girl, and I will be ok. I called Jess and told her the same thing. So they got back together, but officially this time! It was definitely very disorienting and awkward at first for my best friend to be dating my dad, but honestly, they really are a pretty perfect fit, and it just feels very natural now. So what if the two people I love most are also in love with each other? I don't see a downside. My relationship with dad hasn't changed at all, and if anything, I feel closer now to Jess than I've ever been. The only difference is that she doesn't share details from her sex life with me like she used to lol. Not that it'd even be that shocking. I mean, I have caught the live show -_-;; It took a little while longer for some of our friends and family to get used to it. Mine and Jess' friends took it fairly well (actually, one of the other girls who was at the cottage with us saw my original post on reddit and figured everything out before being told). Some other members of my family are probably still a bit weirded out, but they don't really say much. Dad's guy-cousins occasionally poke fun at him, but that's the extent of it. I sometimes get questions from people who think I'm like crazy or something for “allowing” their relationship, but I just say that they make each other happy, so I'm happy for them. The only person who's still super bent out of shape about the whole thing is Jess' dad, who apparently said he was gonna go kick my dad's ass (which is honestly rly funny, cuz, I mean, no offense to the guy, but my dad is like 20 years younger and in much better shape). He's told Jess he thinks it's disgusting that my dad is seeing a woman so much younger than him, but Jess said her mom (they've been divorced over a decade) apparently clapped back and said that's funny because he didn't seem to hold the same opinion when it came to the receptionist at his office. Did I mention I love Jess' mom? One other thing I guess is tangentially related: I joked to Jess one time that since she's dating my dad, she now 'owes me one', so I wanted her to set me up with her (very hot) sister (I'm gay). She laughed it off and said her sister's straight, but she'll see what else she can pull. Well, she actually did set me up with her (also very hot) co-worker, a lovely lady who I have been very happily dating for over six months! :D So... now the big update, and the reason I decided to make this post in the first place: About a week ago my dad invited me over for dinner (just the two of us), and asked for my blessing to ask Jess to move in with him (!!!!!) He said it was wrong to keep me in the dark for so long at the beginning, but he wasn't going to take the next step unless I was ok with it. I told him it was ok, and last night she messaged me to say he asked and she accepted, so they're gonna do it! I really, truly am so excited and happy for them! Anyway, I guess I just wanted to give anyone who still remembers an update, and to say thanks to all those who offered their support to me the first time around, including those who DM'd me with advice, or support. It meant a lot to me, and some of the responses I got helped a lot to process what I'd learned (and seen), but also to help me realize that it's not all about me and my feelings; that there are two other adults here. Yes, it's an unorthodox relationship, yes, there's a big age gap, but everyone involved is doing just fine, and it's nobody else's business if they like it or not. For me, this was a happy update, and I guess just a bit of proof that not every reddit relationship drama story has to end up toxic af. Thanks again everyone, and happy holidays! edit a lot of people here are getting hung up on the age gap. That was never been any part of the issue for me. There was no grooming, my dad has no power over Jess. She was an adult when they met, and they'd barely ever even talked until she was 23. They work in separate industries. Jess makes plenty of money on her own, so she isn't using him for cash or connections. The biggest problem before was the lack of transparency and both have apologized for that to my satisfaction. So what's the issue? My girlfriend is turning 32 next month, is that an issue as well?? Weird hangups, guys... I thought this was going to be mostly about positivity :/ Tldr: they sort of broke up, I sort of got them back together, now they're moving in! Commenter: > I’ve read your previous post, but didn’t manage to ask this question. > >Are you sure your dad loves Jess and is not using her as replacement for your mom, considering how you’ve said they look similar? OOP: > Oh, that's one thing I forgot to address. Wayyy back when this was all first happening, I did bring up to dad the fact that Jess bares a striking resemblance to my mom. He hadn't noticed until then and admitted its possible that was part of the initial attraction on a subconscious level, but his feelings for Jess now are completely separate from how he felt towards mom. And that it's been over 20 years since she passed and he's moved on.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

I [23/f] walked in on my dad [47/m] and one of my best friends [24/f] having sex... don't know what to do.

REPOST

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zup9ts/i_23f_walked_in_on_my_dad_47m_and_one_of_my_best/

zurn94

[removed]

Venmo help needed

CONCLUDED

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zurn94/venmo_help_needed/

zurnhz

**I am NOT OP. Original post by** [u/Global\_Reference\_746](https://www.reddit.com/user/Global_Reference_746/) **in** [r/relationship\_advice](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/) trigger warnings: >!cheating!< mood spoilers: >!I was expecting a happy ending but reality is different!< \--- [I want to ask out my friend's ex who she cheated on. But I don't know it is the right thing to do. Any advice?](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/ws51la/i_want_to_ask_out_my_friends_ex_who_she_cheated/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) \- 19 August 2022 The title pretty much says the same but I would like to add some background. My friend, Kara (fake name) of 6 years once was in a relationship with a guy, Sam (fake name). I liked him. He was smart, sweet and caring. He and I had a lot in common. He respected everyone in her friend group including me. Honestly if he wasn’t in a relationship with her I would have asked him out. But I never made a move because obviously he was dating my friend. I somehow came to know that she was cheating on him. I found she sent nudes to random dudes on dating sites. I was shocked and disgusted. I liked Sam. He is a good person. He didn’t deserve to be treated like this. So I confronted her. She tried to gaslight me into saying some bs like "it's like window shopping". I told her she needs to stop because of Sam knew, he would be devastated. I know I should've told him then but I didn’t because I felt like it wasn’t my place to say anything. She did stop for a while but again started. She even made out with one of her guy friends. I was furious. I told her that I am going to tell Sam about everything. Kara was furious and starts calling me names. She told me that I was ruining her life and that I was jealous that she has a " better life". I also lashed out and said that this is all her fault. She shouldn’t have cheated on Sam and now she is afraid of the consequences. This went back and forth. I also called her names because I am not the type of person who will let people walk all over them. She blocked me on everything. She tried to spread rumors but she knows that I have proof of her doings so she didn’t. I still decided to tell Sam everything but I was going to do it anonymously. But before that Sam texted me to ask if I knew Kara was cheating on him. I had to come clean. I told him about the text messages and pictures. I also apologised for not telling him sooner as I was hoping she would stop her game. I felt sad for him. He asked for the evidence and thanked me for being honest. That was the last I talked to him. He blocked everyone he knew through Kara. That was like a year ago. I haven’t spoken to either of them. Until yesterday I ran into him at a coffee shop. He was doing great. Still looks very handsome. We chatted for a bit. He said that he was sorry to have blocked me on everything. He was very devastated about Kara. He wanted to cut off everything and everyone that reminds him of her. So he also cut me off too. He said that I was the only one honest with him. Rest of her friends lied to him. He said that he always liked me as a friend regardless of what relationship he had with Kara. We chatted for a bit. He gave me his new number to call him if I ever wanted to be in touch. Now I have a strict rule that I don’t date exes of mt friends. I mean as long as the friend in question doesn’t mind I don’t have problem then. But if I ask him out that would mean that I no longer have any chances to build my friendship with Kara again. I do hear from our mutual friends that she misses me and sometimes even talks about contacting me. But I don’t think I want to be friends with her after she said those things. She proved to be a toxic friend. Now the question stands, should I ask him out? He did unblock me in social media and tried to start a conversation recently but I am conflicted. I don’t know if it's right to ask him out. Because this os different. I am no longer friends with Kara. She cheated on him. Would it be okay if I ask him out? Any advice? ​ [UPDATE: I want to ask out my friend's ex who she cheated on. But I don't know it is the right thing to do. Any advice?](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/x67ixn/update_i_want_to_ask_out_my_friends_ex_who_she/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) \- 05 September 2022 Hi guys, I know you guys didn’t ask for an update but whenever I come across posts like asking for advice I always wonder what they did. So I decided to post an update. The story is in my profile. So, it took a while to ask out Sam. I was nervous but we did talk and chatted with him. He says he still gets messages from Kara for reconciliation. But he would shut her down. She created 3 fake profiles on Instagram to stalk him. Crazy. Anyways yesterday I told him about my feelings for him. I told him that I really like him and asked him out. He was a little surprised but then went back to his normal self. He told me that he also likes me but he isn’t ready to date yet. He also told me that since I used to be friends with someone he dated and got cheated on it's weird for him. Fair enough. I think I understand. But I don’t think I can see him anymore because I already have feelings for him. This is probably the first time after getting out of an abusive relationship I felt something for someone else. It did hurt to be rejected but I feel a little better because I at least gave it a shot. I told him I respected his choice but I cannot see him or chat with him on regular basis. Also he will be going to abroad next year anyways so we won't have much contact. We ended it on good terms. But few hours ago he messages that even if he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me. He wants to see me. And that it hurt when I told him I don’t want to have any connection or relation with him. I told him even if we won't have any relations I would still wish for his best. And in case of any emergency he can call me. But what he said next made me frown. Because he told me since he will be out of country in January we can have a casual relationship. Purely physical. Friends with benefits. I was perplexed. Like wtf. I am not into that shit. I knew if I said yes I would be miserable considering my feelings for him. I've seen many of my friends being FWBs and then getting hurt bad. So It's a no-no. So I told him I don’t accept his offer. I wanted a serious relationship with him. Not a casual one that he can throwaway. He said ok, I get it. You are a prude. Then blocked me. I guess I am back to my single miserable life. I thought I would have a fairy tale ending but oh well. I guess I'll just die with my cats. ​ **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

OOP wants to ask out her friend's ex.

CONCLUDED

I-Passed6789

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zurnhz/oop_wants_to_ask_out_her_friends_ex/

zusf8e

[removed]

OOP's BIL talks to pregnant SIL on Christmas Eve about having a great aunt named Stephanie b/c he wants to name the baby Stephanie, except there are no Stephanie's in the family....the real motive is uncovered by Redditors.

CONCLUDED

CatumEntanglement

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zusf8e/oops_bil_talks_to_pregnant_sil_on_christmas_eve/

zuzg7w

[removed]

OOP's Brother makes up a family member in order to get his wife to agree with a potential baby name

CONCLUDED

divshappyhour

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zuzg7w/oops_brother_makes_up_a_family_member_in_order_to/

zuzpu2

[removed]

AITA for telling my SIL that no-one in our family is named Stephanie?

CONCLUDED

KpopFashionistasRise

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zuzpu2/aita_for_telling_my_sil_that_noone_in_our_family/

zv30qu

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/ordinaryturnover5235 in r/trueoffmychest** trigger warnings: >!miscarriages, still birth!< ---   [**I've been lying to my husband and daughter for the past 5 months.**](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/zp2lhn/ive_been_lying_to_my_husband_and_daughter_for_the/) - 18 December 2022 I (32F) have been lying to my husband (35M) and daughter (6F). I'm not cheating or anything, but I've been feeling pretty guilty so I decided to tell this here. Me and my husband have had trouble conceiving and had multiple miscarriages in the past 4 years we were trying for a second baby. We told our daughter 2 and when I miscarried both times we stopped telling her the other attempts. Even in my first pregnancy (my daughter) I wasn't showing until the start of the third trimester. I found out I'm pregnant 5 months ago and I was over the moon, but then I realized I can't tell my family to not give them false hope once again. So I've been lying about me going to the doctor and I feel so guilty. The kiddo is okay and everything is going well, tomorrow I'm going in to hopefully find out the gender, I am over the moon about this but I still feel terribly about lying to them, but I feel like I can't tell them yet, not until I find out the gender at least, because that's the moment it will feel real and possible finally. Thanks everyone for reading my ranting about my feelings and I will hopefully edit an update to this tomorrow. **Edit 1:** I have been reading through the comments for the whole time this post is up and yes everyone you are right. It was dumb of me to not tell him so when he gets home I will. I will sit him down and have a conversation with him about what the surprise tomorrow was supposed to be, why am I letting him know just now and why I felt the need to do what I did. If he's mad I will let him have his space and go to a different room in our house. If he refuses to go with me tomorrow I'll understand and make a video so he at least has that. I do realize how dumb I was and will update after the conversation or tomorrow depending on how long the conversation will be. I'm really hoping he won't leave me for this. (As some comments were hinting at which kinda stresses me out not going to lie, but it's my mess and I need to clean it up.) I am so thankful for every comment either saying your concerns or support. Thank you for opening my eyes Reddit. **Edit 2:** I am glad to update you all about the conversation I had with my hubby. He and I had an hour long conversation where I showed him this post too. I can give you a little run down of what I said. Basically I sat him down held his hand and said: "Love, now I have to tell you something that is really important and I know you might get mad at me and even resent me for this, but I need to tell you. I am 5 months pregnant, now I know it's selfish of me not to tell you and you can yell at me all you want I just want you to listen to my reason why, basically I felt like telling you is a bad idea, because you'd hate me if it went wrong again, I will understand if you think I cheated and I'm willing to do a paternity test if you want, but it is yours. I know you might want to kick me out so I will get out of the house if you want, and I will understand if you don't want to see me and have as much space as you need. I know I fucked up but I wanted you to not feel the pain of loosing our child again and I didn't want you to tell yourself if you did the right decision marrying me when I can't even give you a kid, also tomorrow is supposed to be the day we find out the sex of our baby, but if you don't want to go with me I get it." He went quiet for a bit and then said: "Honey I will love you forever and even though I am hurt you didn't tell me, it doesn't mean I will leave you. I get that you wanted to keep me safe, but you destroyed yourself in the process which I would never wanted. I'm glad you told me now at least and of course I'm coming with you tomorrow, it's still my child. Look I will need some time to process this and I would like to get some space for some time today, but I want you sleeping next to me and waking up next to me, right now I will go to our room to process it and I'll come back when I feel ready. I love you and you did nothing wrong, fear makes us do dumb things." He was calm and collected. He's been sitting in our room for the past 20 minutes and I just put our daughter to sleep, I wrote on a piece of paper that I'll be sleeping in the guest bedroom and if he feels like joining me he can. That I slipped under the door to our room and he unlocked the door and gave me a kiss and said that he will go for a walk so I should go sleep in our room. He just got out of the house so I grabbed my phone to write this and I'll go sleep when I hear him come back. It isn't the reaction I was expecting, but I'm so glad it's the reaction I got. I will update you all tomorrow after the doctors appointment. **Edit 3:** Hello, this is OP's husband writing this. She doesn't know I am, but having had a sleepless night over this is the reason I'm here right now. There have been numerous comments about how I "will" feel or what "I AM" feeling right now and honestly? They are mostly wrong. I don't resent my wife for not telling me, I don't think the baby isn't mine and I don't think it's a huge strain on our marriage. I did need to straighten my thoughts however and that's why I left. As I'm typing this the woman of my dreams and the only person I will ever love is laying right next to me. Well to my feelings I have to say I guess I'm kind of glad she didn't tell me? This might sound weird to all of you but when I think back to how I acted during all the other pregnancies I might have been a bit too much. I get why she didn't tell me I did give her maybe too much pressure with my excitement. (Kind of like being overly concerned about anything she does and then if she miscarried it would be because of her which it certainly is not.) I do want to go to couples counseling and I do think that it might help more her then me. Now what I don't get is how all of you reacted on my behalf. I get that YOU would have a different reaction then I did, but typing things like: "I would never trust you again.", "Divorce papers just in case.", "You will never see him after this again." and "Congratulations on ruining your marriage." is certainly not helping a hormonal pregnant woman. There have been concerns about my wife line of thinking in the updates like: "Has he ever yelled at you? Thrown you out? Did anything to hurt you intentionally that makes you think this?" and I did not ever do anything of this sort. It's just what the comments from this post convinced my wife that will happen. (Her words, not mine. We talked after I came back a few hours ago.) Also telling my wife she's a disgusting person and sending dumb and mean messages in chat to her is to me just disgusting. I hope this update will calm all of you down and make you realize that not everyone is heartless and that because I went through all the other miscarriages and 1 stillbirth with my wife (total of 5 lost babies in the past 4 years) I understand why she didn't want to say anything. I honestly wouldn't do so either. Thanks for reading this hopefully we can tell you all tomorrow what the kiddo is going to be, but mainly that it is healthy.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

I've been lying to my husband and daughter for the past 5 months.

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toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zv30qu/ive_been_lying_to_my_husband_and_daughter_for_the/

zv3uj9

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Fake ancestors, weird naming conventions - AITA for telling my SIL that no one in our family is named Stephanie?

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FavoriteNumberIs121

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AITA for telling my SIL that no one in our family is named Stephanie? Not the A-hole

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FavoriteNumberIs121

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zv3xmc/aita_for_telling_my_sil_that_no_one_in_our_family/

zv8cke

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/ta191210 in r/amitheasshole** ---   [**AITA for telling my soon-to-be MIL that my engagement ring is cursed?**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qr8fp4/aita_for_telling_my_soontobe_mil_that_my/) - 11 November 2021 I (F26) just got engaged. My soon to be MIL is a nightmare. We are currently renovating a part of our place and she has been lent a key in the meantime because she keeps coming over uninvited under the guise of “helping” clean up, but she really just likes to snoop and interfere. I do a martial art and take my engagement ring off before class. I came home from an afternoon class one day and my engagement ring was not in the jewellery dish that I usually leave it in. I asked her about it and she told me that she’d taken it to a jeweller to get it cleaned. She looked super smug about it and when I asked which jeweller, she pretended she couldn’t remember. I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of having a reaction to it so I just let it slide for a couple of days. A couple of days pass and I ask her about it again and she’s super vague, still pretending she can’t remember which jeweller and saying she’s too busy to go pick it up anytime soon. So I said, “wow, I really feel for that jeweller… hope nothing happens to her.” She asked what I meant, and I told her that my superstitious Brazilian grandmother had performed some traditional ritual on it that’s usually known to curse anyone who takes or handles the ring other than the owner. She looked uneasy and asked me a couple more questions about this ritual and I made some story up about how my mother’s ring had been taken by a burglar who was crushed by a pillar of cement on his way out of the house. (I totally made this entire ritual up and I do have a Brazilian grandmother but obviously she did not do some ritual to my ring.) The next day, my fiancée told me while I was out that she was there to clean up a bit… Lo and behold, I get home (she had already left) and find my ring where I had left it. It didn’t look any cleaner than it had before lol. A week later, I receive an abusive call from her saying she’d been in a minor car accident and she was blaming me and my “witch doctor” grandmother, saying she was now cursed for having touched it. I passed the phone to my fiancée who tried to calm her down, but she was hysterical. I told my fiancée what I had told her, and he scolded me a bit because we both know how she is and I should have known she’d react this sort of way. It’s been a further week since then and she refuses to talk to me and keeps slandering me to my fiancée. Overall he sort of recognises how ridiculous she’s being, but the drama of the situation is making me wonder if the whole curse tale was taking it a bit too far. So, AITA? ETA: grammar Verdict: NTA **UPDATE:** I really did not expect this sort of response to this post. Thank you all so much for the awards. Fiancée and I have had a big chat, and he’s admitted he has to step up when it comes to his mother. He retrieved her key an hour ago, and he told her not to worry about the curse because it would have no effect on anyone who touched it without malicious intent… big thank you to the commenters who suggested that absolutely gold approach.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

AITA for telling my soon-to-be MIL that my engagement ring is cursed?

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toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zv8cke/aita_for_telling_my_soontobe_mil_that_my/

zv93ae

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Please report this site

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Aggravating_Risk_977

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zv93ae/please_report_this_site/

zvab1j

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I just rejected my dream job and I am mad at my wife about it

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zvab1j/i_just_rejected_my_dream_job_and_i_am_mad_at_my/

zvbqam

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/just_judgment_8089 in r/trueoffmychest** ---   [**I just rejected my dream job and I am mad at my wife about it**](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/zp402z/i_just_rejected_my_dream_job_and_i_am_mad_at_my/) - 18 December 2022 I 31M was offered my dream job but it would have meant we relocate to a different city. My wife 29 said she is not willing to move she wants to remain close to her family because she is scared something might happen to one of them. I tried making the argument that if something happened she can fly back and be there within 3 hours which I think is not to bad she would not budge. I then declined the offer. But the more I think about it the more upset I become as this could have been life changing for us. It would have been 4 times more than what I make now. She is also stay at home so she would not need to give up her job. It would just be we would need to move. Maybe I am an ass to be mad but I feel I just gave up on my dream. **Update** So my wife saw this post and we ended up talking about it. So here is what the plan is going forward I called my old manager and said I will be taking the job. I will be traveling to and from for the beginning. She will be traveling with me after a month of me being there so she can test out the waters. Her big fear is that she will be lonely there which I do understand. Luckily one of my cousins lives and works in the same city so I called her up explaining what is going on and asked her to come and get to know my wife and make her feel welcome and maybe introduce her to some of her friends my wife did love this idea. Some said just get divorced and this is something I feel is a bit overboard as that is something that should be the last resort. Also we will not sell our place as we can afford to keep it with the new job and have somewhere to stay if we travel back. So on the 1st of Feb I will be starting my dream job. Thanks for everyone supporting me.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

I just rejected my dream job and I am mad at my wife about it

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toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zvbqam/i_just_rejected_my_dream_job_and_i_am_mad_at_my/

zvd8i8

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OP asks AITA for their honesty and discovers their brother's long con

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KbbbbNZ

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zvd8i8/op_asks_aita_for_their_honesty_and_discovers/

zvfm6s

**I am NOT OP. Original post by** [u/Vegetable-Bad8521](https://www.reddit.com/user/Vegetable-Bad8521/) **in** [r/AITA](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITA/) TW: >!religious abuse, eating disorder, verbal abuse!< mood spoilers: >!first post/comment is depressing, update has OP happy!< [AITA for donating my hair to charity without my dad's permission](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zlwjqo/aita_for_donating_my_hair_to_charity_without_my/) in [r/AITA](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITA/) (Dec 14th, 2022) I (15F) live in a Christian household, where cutting your hair is strictly not allowed. I never liked long hair and always felt uncomfortable with mine, it never helped with my low self-esteem and body image issues. So one day, I found out the local cancer treatment clinic (whatever it's called) was accepting hair donations. Without thinking twice, I cut my hair completely until it reached my shoulders, and donated it to the clinic. When my dad came back to work, he found out about it and got mad at me for not following the Church doctrine and for doing it behind his back without his permission. He called me insults and many bad things, and now he doesn't want to leave me alone on my own anymore out of fear I'll do something behind his back again. AITA? **Comments:** [u/Cfx99](https://www.reddit.com/u/Cfx99/)\*\*:\*\* Here's a touchy subject. I am going to say ESH, not because I disagree with you exercising your right to your body, or self expression, but because this wasn't just a rule. This was something seen as a sacred edict from God and your father apparently found it very important to hold to that. By cutting your hair, to him I assume, it was not just an affront to him and his rules, but to God as well. I would imagine that you knew this so while I wouldn't punish you for it, you are going to face consequences for your actions and my only hope is that through communication, you and your father can perhaps come to a more rational set of rules for you and your hair; your input on the matter is important because its your hair. So while I can't necessarily absolve you of your choices, I also cannot agree with your fathers. Though, I guess that's not really important. There are going to be people who are going to probably flame me, but I'm not judging her on my values. Too many times in this sub its about how we feel about the situation, but this is deeper, this goes to the values of another person and their religious views. It goes to how a teenager functions within her home, which is always a crazy hard subject. We can disagree with them, which I do here as well, but for this one, I'm really having to take the stance as a neutral party because there is more to this than just cutting hair and I personally think more communication needs to be had moving forward. Both sides should take the opportunity to stop and re-evaluate what is truly important to them with OP clearly stating her views. **OOP:** I won't lie and say I wasn't aware of the consequences, because I was. However I can't bring myself to regret it. I have a really bad ED and having long hair was making it worse, so by cutting it I feel more free. My dad doesn't listen to me and he always put religion in the middle of our convos. I truly believe in God but my dad forgets I'm just a teen who is learning about the world still. I tried to talk to him about how I was donating it to cancer patients instead of just doing it out of selfish-ness, but he had the guts to say "The doctrine is more important than dying people". I accept your judgement, however. Thank you. [u/mdthomas](https://www.reddit.com/u/mdthomas/)\*\*:\*\* If this is real, NTA Your hair isn't his property. This hurts no one and possibly helps others. **OOP:** It's real, although I kind of wish it wasn't. My dad has been extremely mean to me because of this. At least I finally think I'm pretty with the short hair LOL *On why the church is against haircutting* [u/Encartrus](https://www.reddit.com/u/Encartrus/)\*\*:\*\* INFO: Where in the bible does it say you can't cut your hair? Where in the bible does it say that helping those in need is against church doctrine? **OOP:** Funnily enough, I can't find an answer! The doctrine just doesn't let me cut my hair for some reason. [u/Encartrus](https://www.reddit.com/u/Encartrus/)\*\*:\*\* What church is this, if you feel comfortable sharing? **OOP:** It's a church in Brazil, I think called CCB. They're pretty strict. [u/Encartrus](https://www.reddit.com/u/Encartrus/)\*\*:\*\* First off, NTA Second, that church is known for some pretty oppressive views and some fairly grim enforcement of them. Are you ok/safe at home? Do you need resources for local support? **OOP:** I'm safe, but I won't lie and say I'm okay. The local hospital forced my dad to get me treatment for my personal issues (that happened thanks to him), so I believe the future things will get brighter. Thank you for the concern! *On where her Mom is in the situation/another adult* [u/Moon-Queen95](https://www.reddit.com/u/Moon-Queen95/)\*\*:\*\* NTA at all but do be careful and safe. Is there a second parent in your household or other close adult in your family who you trust? **OOP:** I have my mom but she is.. a tricky situation. TMI— she has a lot of mental problems. I think the closest adult I have is the headmaster from my school. Maybe I'll talk to them about it. [u/DoorinTheAir](https://www.reddit.com/u/DoorinTheAir/)\*\*:\*\* Just so you know, it isn't TMI to talk about mental health. I know lots of communities and cultural groups still place a big taboo on it, but it is common and okay to have mental health issues, and IT IS OKAY TO ASK FOR HELP. Maybe your mom is struggling because of the culture she's living in, that is common too. I just don't want you to avoid seeking help if you need it. Mental health is the same as physical health. Your brain is a physical organ that can get sick, with chemical reactions it that can go wrong. You would go to the doctor for a broken leg, right? If you just walked around with a badly broken leg, you could die from infection or something. Mental health is just as important. Sending you love and I second the urge to be careful. Also you are so NTA. **OOP:** Thank you so much. My dad kind of drilled into my brain that I don't need help nor deserve it, so I'm too hesitant to talk about it. 😅 Verdict: NTA [UPDATE: AITA for donating my hair to charity without my dad's permission](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zoyz0t/update_aita_for_donating_my_hair_to_charity/) in [r/AITA](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITA/) (Dec 18th, 2022) Hello, it's me again (15F). I tried to talk to the school headmaster but I ended up backing out due to my fear of talking about my home life. However, apparently one of my teachers noticed how underweight I am and spoke to my parents about it. She threatened to call child services if they didn't book a psychiatrist for my ED. My dad indulged out of fear of losing me and now my session will be in a week. I'm really happy about it! The people in my church always grimaces when they see my hair. I don't give a fuck to them, however, because I know I did the right thing! Thank you everyone for the kind words. I believe the psychiatrist session will be the light at the end of the tunnel for me. **Remember: I am not OP**

AITA for donating my hair to charity without my dad's permission

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Ok-Willingness-5095

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zvfm6s/aita_for_donating_my_hair_to_charity_without_my/

zvi4dx

Originally posted by u/Brave-Class5418 in r/AmItheAsshole on Dec 14, '22, updated in the same post. [Original post ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zm44eg/aita_for_not_helping_my_disabled_sister_with/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) AITA for not helping my disabled sister with college I (f24) have 4 siblings Max(m31) Lisa(f20) Chris(m20) Emily (f18). Emily is disabled and because of that, my parents dedicated themselves 100% to her, leaving the rest of us to fend for ourselves. When Max left for college, I became the main caregiver for my siblings + all household chores were my responsibility. I want to make it clear that Emily' disability does not stop her from functioning like any other person and she doesn't require any assistance or supervision or 24/7 care. However, my parents have always spoiled her rotten, and she is very rude, mean and entitled. My parents raised her with the mentally that her disability means she's allowed to do whatever and everyone needs to bend backwards for her. My grandparents passed away 3 years ago and I inherited everything approximately $6m. They were very well off, I know. The reasons i received all of it is because: - When my grandparents were sick Max contacted them after almost 10 years of silence because he wanted to know how much he will receive (I'm NC with him btw). - They were very aware of how my mom treated me and my siblings and she was disowned. - They were very religious and Lisa came out as bi at 14 and Chris came out as gay at 17. I went NC with my parents after I moved for college and when Lisa and Chris started college I offered to cover all of their living/educational expenses as long as they do well in school. They gladly accepted. I also helped my bff Lola(f21) start her own business. I haven't spoken to my parents in 6 years. I haven't blocked them, they just never called/texted. This year Emily started college and she burned out all of her college fund in less than 4 months because she is a spoiled brat and bags were more important than rent lol. In addition she is doing horrible in school because she isn't even attending her classes and she will most likely be expelled or held back. My mom called me 2 weeks ago to not ask but demand that I do for her the same i do for Lisa and Chris. I said no because growing up i was literally a slave for her and my parents. I'm helping Lisa and Chris because they are the only ones that treated me as family. I ended the call by telling her that for 18 years Emily was their only kid so now they have no right to demand anything from the kids they practically abandoned. Now I'm getting shit for everyone (except Lisa and Chris) because: - I'm causing unnecessary drama. - I'm causing a rift between Emily and her siblings. - Emily will be the only one without a degree. - It's not really my money and my grandparents would want me to help her. (Then why didn't they leave anything for her?). - Family is family and i should help my little sister (i don't buy into that crap) - It's not her fault that my parents were bad parents to me (true but she doesn't do anything to change her behavior) - She's disabled and it's not ok to discriminate (wtf?). I feel like I'm doing the right thing but everyone in telling me I'm not so AITA? Edit: i received a lot of messages with questions and a few asked in the comments about my sister' disability so I'm going to answer some questions. What disability does she have? Idk. My parents never told me and when anyone asked they would get very defensive. Can't Emily get governmental assistance? No because she doesn't have documentation that atests she is disabled. I remember my parents fighting about taking my sister to different doctors because they all refused to sign she was disabled. Why doesn't the rest of my family pay for her? Because they are living paycheck to paycheck because they would spend thousands on buying Emily whatever she wanted. Why can't my parents continue paying? Because Emily' spending problem got worse since she left home and the rest of the family is no longer in the position to give them money. Also my dad gad a work accident a few months ago and he was forced to retire so now their income has significantly reduced. How can someone spend that much? Simple. She renewed her closet, purchased a very expressive car and just partied until she dropped. For reference, my parents have high paying jobs and Emily college fund was around $587k when i left for college. Did me and my siblings have a college fund? Nope. We all worked out asses off to get scholarships so we can go. And i do have a will in place. If anything happens to me all the assets will be split equally between Lisa Chris Lola and an organization fighting for wildlife. FYI: writing these I'm starting to question if my sister is actually disabled or if it was just what my parents wanted to believe. I mean... If no doctor would declare ger disabled is she really? My family thinks she disabled because she did learn how to walk until she was 5 and she didn't talk until she was 7. Maybe she was just a slow developer? Update: so funny thing. My favorite uncle called me a couple hours after i made the post to tell me to block my family because they have come up with a "plan" to get me to pay. He didn't know what the plan was he just heard a portion of the conversation between my mom and my aunt. And just like he said my mom called a few minutes later to tell me Emily is pregnant so i need to help her because if i don't I'm damaging my niece/ nephew. I crying with how hard i started laughing and i just told her to f off. I blocked them all. But seriously.... Fake a pregnancy lmao *Flairing this concluded as OOP has told her parents to fuck all the way off and has finally blocked them*

Parents Expect OP To Pay For Sister's College (AITA Dec 14, '22)

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KittenDealinMama

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zvi4dx/parents_expect_op_to_pay_for_sisters_college_aita/

zvk0dz

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In which OOP's husband swears it's not an art room

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NotQuiteALondoner

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zvk0dz/in_which_oops_husband_swears_its_not_an_art_room/

zvmudi

This is a new update on a story posted here 8/9 months ago. Originally posted by u/captandrew12 in r/TrueOffMyChest on March 9, '22, updated 3 weeks later. Newest update on Dec 19, '22, marked with 🔴🔴🔴's if you want to skip to it. [Original post ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/t9m7fl/i_might_die_in_7_hours_and_im_not_afraid/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) I might die in 7 hours I (14M) have a bone disease known as Multiple Hereditary Exostoses (MHE). It causes benign bone tumors to grow everywhere on my body. Although they aren't cancerous, they are very painful when they are near a nerve. A lot of these tumors have grown in my knees, fingers and ribs. You can probably guess there are a lot of nerves and muscles there that can be pinched and pierced. It hurts quite a lot. I am constantly at level 5 pain (scale of 1-10). I can only walk for up to 2 minutes, I can't write (with a pen, if I couldnt type this post wouldnt exist lol) and I'm basically in agony. We have decided I will go for surgery to saw off some of the most painful tumors in my knee. Hopefully this will restore my ability to walk. The doctors have also decided we should remove 2 of my ribs, which have cracked due to the tumors. They'll be replaced with metal I think. There is a 20% chance of death with all these very complicated procedures, and of course a chance this surgery doesn't change anything, or even makes it worse. Rolling a less than 6 sided dice to determine if I live or die. But to be honest, I don't really care what happens in this surgery. If it works, great, I can walk again. If it fails and my condition stays the same/deteriorates, I've adapted to this disease enough. I can probably handle a few turns for the worst. And if I die, well, I suppose then there is no more pain. My friends say it is wrong for me to feel okay about dying. I'm not suicidal, I wouldn't kill myself if I had the chance. But I don't exactly care if I die at this point. It's in fate's hands at this point. Comment anything, in 7 hours, I'll be on the operating table that'll determine my destiny. EDIT: Soon about to enter the operating room. Welp, this is it. Let's see our fate *Added when he woke up:* EDIT 2; I'M ALIVE, LES GOOOO. Recovery pain's a bitch but otherwise, I'm fine *1st Update posted after he woke up from surgery:* [STILL ALIVE YOU MFERS](https://www.reddit.com/user/CaptAndrew12/comments/ta4f6g/still_alive_you_mfers/) [2nd Update 3 weeks later](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/tsroac/update_3_weeks_ago_i_might_have_died_now_im_alive/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) Hello lads, you may remember my previous post. If not, here's a quick recap. I (14M) have a bone disease known as MHE, which causes non-cancerous bone tumors to grow across the body. Althought they aren't cancerous, they still cause problems such as causing my legs to not be able to walk longer than 3 minutes, and causing pain in my legs Due to this, my doctors suggested I do a surgery to remove the bone tumors in my ribs and knees. They'd have to remove 2 entire ribs as the tumors were inside the rib. I was prepared for any result of the surgery. Didn't really care whether I lived or died, I had prepared for death, and was hoping to live. I'll write what happened on each day in the hospital, and each week at home. (Note that I don't write a diary so all this is in hindsight, so some dates may be inaccurate as I forgor when some events happened. Also, I add unnecessary details sometimes, so I'll put a TLDR at the end.) Day 1 in Hospital: It was early morning when I entered the hospital. I had texted some friends, and hugged my sisters and mum. I then went to the operating room with my dad, and the doctors took over from there. Quick briefings happen, then the gas mask is on, and I inhale anaesthesia. Whatever happened... it would be alright. Aaaaand I wake up. Yep, I'm alive, and feeling pretty weird. The surgery was successful, very nice. The doctors wheel my bed to the ward, and my mum's overjoyed. Once I'm aware enough to use my phone, I text my family and friends. They are all glad to see me alive. I also update my post on Reddit and posted a 'I lived, bitch' meme selfie on my profile. I eat dinner and it's time for bed. Then I wake up in the middle of the night. Oh shoot, I can't breathe properly without immense pain. The one thought in my mind was 'Gott verdammt, did I celebrate too early?'. I call the nurse, he gets me a O2 mask and breathing returns back to normal. With not much else to do, I return to slumber Day 2: The doctors are concerned about what happened last night, so I do an x-ray on my chest. They decide it's alright, and I go back to the ward. The thing that happened on day 1 wouldn't happen again fortunately. Day 2 was spent mostly lazing around, being in pain, playing dumb roblox games and learning to sit up on the bed with the help of my physiotherapist. Not sure what else to say, day 2 was boring. Oh, and I barely got sleep, because there were 3 children crying at night in the ward. Day 3: Day 3 is much more interesting. On this day, the physiotherapist came and told me I should re-learn how to walk. She trains me to stand up, gets mad at how I'm not standing straight (mercy pls, my knees just got operated on) and we begin walking for a few steps. I need a lot of support, and it hurts like absolute hell, but it's progress at least. I can make it to the toilet, but I still refrain from using it as sitting down on the low toilet would hurt... worse than hell. We also remove the bandages on my chest, the doctors say they look pretty good. He adds a waterproof transparent spray thingy onto my wounds so I can spongebath easier. I got a bit of a fever, presumably from an infection, but its nothing serious. And the night is much better, only 2 kids cry. Day 4: I practice walking a bit more, and I can walk down the entire hallway (I need support for this though). The physiotherapist decides that now I am slowly regaining ability to walk, I can go now. Dismissal forms are prepared, and I leave before lunch. I take an ambulance home, as I live in Singapore where ambulances don't cost your life savings (flex on the Americans). First time on an ambulance, so pretty neat. I spend the rest of Day 4 chatting with sisters and forcing my sis to buy me video games. And I can FINALLY SLEEP WITHOUT CRYING CHILDREN. YES! Week 1 (Day 5, 6, 7): Pretty boring, spent most of it playing video games lol. Week 2: I begin making progress in walking by myself. I can walk a good 5-10 minutes without rest. This is actually really good progress. I'm shocked how fast I healed. I also revisit the hospital and they remove the stitches in my knee. Nice. Week 3: This is where we are now. I can walk for up to 15 minutes, longer than I could ever imagine last year. Wow, I'm super happy to be at this point. Today, I will try to use stairs and see if I'm capable of doing that. I'll update y'all if its successful. I would also like to thank everyone for leaving nice comments on my previous post. I appreciate all the kind words. Life is getting better now, and I'm glad I'm still alive. I'm excited to enjoy every moment of life, now with the ability to walk. I'll gladly reply to any questions y'all have. TL;DR: Survived a surgery, almost died again, did a few x-rays, and made good progress on re-learning to walk. I'm happy now. 🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴 [New Update ](https://www.reddit.com/user/CaptAndrew12/comments/zppj0r/many_months_later_still_alive_lots_has_changed/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) Many months later, still alive. Lots has changed! Hey guys. It's been ages. Sorry for the lack of updates. I've been busy living life, and I'm admittedly kind ofa lurker nowadays, and don't post or comment much. So, what has changed? Some good and bad things have happened. My ribcage feels completely fine nowadays. I can breathe without issue. Hooray for nitrogen and oxygen! Thanks for being able to enter my lungs without making them touch egg-sized tumors! Unfortunately, my legs have regrown some tumors, and they hurt again. The doctors don't want to operate again, as the tumor is near some major nerves this time around, and would also take a lot of digging yhrough muscles and stuff. So, I'm back in the wheelchair, with limited walking abilities (about 10 minutes max). Eh, I guess breathing is a lot more important than walking, so I'd consider the surgery to still be a beneficial thing. Regardless, I have a few things to talk about. I have gotten a lot of messages from people concerned about me. That's why I want to make this post. First up, some people want to share my post on other platforms (while others did it without asking lmao). Feel free to do it, just link my Reddit post/account. Secondly, some people with the same illness as I am wanted to reach out to me. Sorry for not responding, I have so many DMs and I simply don't look at them all. I'll probably get to you in a while. The last thing, a lot of people complimented my writing styles in those posts. Thank you very much, I try my best to make my English teachers proud. I am also considering getting a writing career, though it seems very difficult to do so. Might consider writing short stories and making money from Patreon. And that's all I have to say. I'm somewhat happy with my life. Maybe one day I'll walk for more than 10 minutes again. But until then, thank you for all the support. Thank you for the many kind messages. Thank you for making me so much less stressed on March 9th (someone in the comments told me the percentages were for old people, and I was actually very likely to survive that surgery. That was assuring, thank you kind stranger.) Love you all, and adios.

I might die in 7 hours New Update (Dec 19, '22 TOMC)

NEW UPDATE

KittenDealinMama

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zvmudi/i_might_die_in_7_hours_new_update_dec_19_22_tomc/

zvmy9y

[removed]

Aita?

ONGOING

omapmbm

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zvmy9y/aita/

zvnrkb

**I am NOT OP. Original post by** u/lonelythrowaway733 **in** r/offmychest ​ *Just a short holiday post.*   [**Original**](https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/kkat7l/my_entire_family_is_dead_i_cant_celebrate/) \- 26th December 2020 My parents are dead. My one brother is dead. Both of my parents were only children. I have no traceable extended family. I don’t have a partner or children. I don’t have friends. This is the first Christmas that I’m not able to celebrate, since my brother died in February. I’m so alone. Edit: thank you all for your support. It means a great deal to me Edit 2: the number of comments overnight has been overwhelming. I am deeply appreciative of all of your words. I’ve begun the adoption hunt for a dog, as suggested by u/fuggedaboudid. I’ll be deleting Reddit and I’ll update everyone in about 1 month! Happy holidays   [**UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/lan0f6/update_the_guy_who_spent_christmas_alone_because/) \- 2nd February 2021 First off, I want to say the support I got on my first post was very moving to me. It felt good to hear that others were going through similar situations and I wasn’t alone. A number of users suggested that I get a dog, which is exactly what I did! I’ve had him for about 4 weeks now, and he’s turned my life around. I’m always keeping busy by taking him on runs, to the park, etc. he is always there for me. He’s probably the best friend I’ve ever had (albeit the only one 😂). It’s so much better to hang out with him instead of feeling left out of the social life. I haven’t totally gotten over my brother’s death, but I’m getting there. I’ll be signing off of this account soon. Again, thank you to everyone here.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

My entire family is dead. I can’t celebrate Christmas.

CONCLUDED

raredontstare

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zvnrkb/my_entire_family_is_dead_i_cant_celebrate/

zvor1j

**I am NOT OP. Original post by** u/throwaway9999-22222 **in** r/pettyrevenge trigger warnings: >!abusive parent, vermin, decomposing food, eating bugs!< mood spoilers: >!OP goes through with it, then goes LC/NC so we don't know how it works out!<   [**My dad is kicking me out. I'm leaving a gift.**](https://www.reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge/comments/yp2dyd/my_dad_is_kicking_me_out_im_leaving_a_gift/) \- November 7, 2022 His long distance girlfriend is moving in in December from overseas and because my father is a liar, she falsely believes that my room was used by his ex and that she had since moved out (the truth is that they were sharing his bed until last week while I lived in the other room.) And so, to keep up the ruse, he told me yesterday that I had two weeks to clear out my room, take my belongings and leave no trace of my existence behind in the apartment. His girlfriend is apparently a clean freak and my dad is desperate to make a good impression. Hence me getting kicked out. So right before I leave there's going to be an "accidental" spill of tuna juice on the living room rug and there will be honey and sugar in inconspicuous corners.... I think the ants will love it. Hopefully the tuna juice will go bad and make the whole place slowly stink over the course of several weeks for no reason and hopefully my dad will be embarrassed and miserable. Edit: I am a broke college student. I pay for my studies myself. My dad was a cheating deadbeat growing up. We had a deal that I could move in with him and stay until I graduate. **No, I can't tell his girlfriend without putting my physical safety on the line, even secret attempts.** Otherwise I 100% would, I think what he's doing is awful. My father is purging the apartment and my room when I'm gone **so anything for her to "find" wouldn't work** nor would something that stinks immediately. Yes, my dad's a dick, it's a long established fact. Edit 2: some of you guys don't seem to remember what subreddit we're on? Yes I'm being petty, that's sort of the point. Edit 3: added some precisions in edit 1. Also- thank you for the outpouring of support and ideas. You guys are diabolical and made me cackle. Makes me feel better about the shitty situation I'm in. I'll definitely try to post an update.   [**UPDATE: My dad is kicking me out. I'm leaving a gift.**](https://www.reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge/comments/zn15oo/update_my_dad_is_kicking_me_out_im_leaving_a_gift/) \- December 16, 2022 Sorry, this is going to be a bit of a boring update, yet a satisfying one. I moved out like planned. I dumped a bunch of sugar and honey everywhere where my father wouldn't see and a bunch of veggies parts to rot behind the stove. Decided to not to ahead with the tuna juice in the carpet because the smell would've been too obvious. I wanted to play the long game and stay petty instead of going nuclear. My sibling, who doesn't live there and is a lot more confrontational than I am, had a few "words of choice" with our father about his overwhelming success at fatherhood-- I stayed at a friend's when it went down in case it got ugly. Neither of them told me what exactly went down but I'm glad I wasn't there. I don't know if there were ants, I don't know if there were bugs, I don't know if my dad's girlfriend was disgusted. I haven't been in contact. I know, however, that a cockroach crawled in my father's mouth in broad daylight as he was eating in the living room and that he chewed it and it went crunch :) The end. PS: please be kind, you don't know people's life stories. Edit: added my sibling's involvement. ​ **From the comments** *On the room arrangements* [Q:](https://www.reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge/comments/zn15oo/comment/j0ehqej/) Your dad's girlfriend knows that he has a daughter why didn't he just tell her that his daughter lives with him. I'm not sure why you have to move out if he lives in a 2 bedroom apartment/house [A:](https://www.reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge/comments/zn15oo/comment/j0esv9f/) Because his ex lived with us and they slept in the same bed, but because it looks bad, he told his girlfriend that she used my room (the second room) and that it was just the two of them *On the father* (Q removed by mods) [A:](https://www.reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge/comments/zn15oo/comment/j0f1u3m/) My father was violent growing up. He's not a man you want to genuinely piss off. *That's* the danger. It's dumb and I wish I was making this whole shit show up. I moved out and moved on though. I'm just updating for people who were asking for one *... On the roach* [Q:](https://www.reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge/comments/zn15oo/comment/j0elg7f/) How did he not feel the cockroach haha damn [A:](https://www.reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge/comments/zn15oo/comment/j0etas5/) It was a salad. He said he was eating and then something went crunch that was not supposed to crunch and it was a roach. He was distracted and watching tv iirc   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

My dad is kicking me out. I'm leaving a gift.

CONCLUDED

reducereusarecicla

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zvor1j/my_dad_is_kicking_me_out_im_leaving_a_gift/

zvot1y

[removed]

OOP was forced to leave her children while divorcing abusive ex. Now she blames herself for 'abandoning' them

NEW UPDATE

dhulkarnin470

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zvot1y/oop_was_forced_to_leave_her_children_while/

zvp18y

***I am NOT the OP, this is a repost.*** ​ [**Original post**](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/ym8hfo/im_envious_of_the_relationship_my_child_has_with/iv2n4a0/?context=3) **on** [**r/TrueOffMyChest**](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/) **(Nov 4th 2022).** **I’m envious of the relationship my child has with my husband and I wish my husband still treated me the same.** I love my child but I can’t help but feel a twinge of envy whenever I see him interact with my husband. I’d never fault him for it. He has the dad that every kid should have. The dad that lights up at the sight of you and will show up to every sports match and will schedule dad and son outings on the weekend. The trouble I’m having is that it used to be me. I used to be the one that lit up my husband’s face. I used to be the one he’d make time to do things with. But I’m not anymore. Before having kids I never was worried about being pushed to the sidelines. The love a parent has for their kids is a different type of love than they have for their spouse. And it is, but I didn’t realize there would be a cap on the quantity. There is no love left for me. I get the tidbits, the scraps, the leftovers. We’ve been married for 16 years at this point. Didn’t even have our child until 10 years in. We had a strong marriage. We made time for one another. Went on dates. Had exciting, passionate, mind-mush inducing sex 3-5 times a week. Would greet each other with a smile, hug, and a kiss when the other got home. Then around age 3, poof it was gone. Now when my husband arrives home, I get a placating pat on the back or kiss on top of my head while our child gets an excited open arms hug spin around while happily screeching “daddy!” If I try to give my husband a real kiss, he’ll turn his check and say he just got home and is stressed. There’s no more date nights. We don’t live near family who could babysit and he isn’t comfortable having someone we don’t know super well watch the kiddo until they’re older. Sex is now 3-4 times per month. If I try to initiate, it’s a turnoff for him because I’m too forward and eager. I come across as desperate. So I wait. And wait. And wait, for whenever my husband remembers that I happen to be around and he should throw me a bone(r) every once in a while. It’s not like we haven’t talked about it. There are no secrets. I try to be more understanding of his work stress and he says he’ll be more receptive towards my needs. That’ll last a week until going back to the status quo. This morning I wake up and roll over to kiss my husband good morning and he puts a hand out to stop me, saying he’s busy on his phone with a work text. And he was, I read the text. But not one minute later our son ran into our room and jumped up. My husband immediately put down that oh so important work text to hug and snuggle. So this is my life. Where I set a daily timer to allow myself to cry for 15 minutes when no one else is around. And every time I see my child’s face light up at the sight of his dad, I feel so much joy but also deep down I wonder why we both can’t be loved. I don’t have a cap on how much love I can feel or give. My love language is physical touch and I feel duped. The epitome of the late-30s housewife cliche, whose husband is sick of her. I never knew a person could feel such vast loneliness while sitting less than three feet away from someone who vowed to spend the rest of their lives together. This fucking sucks. EDIT: This got a lot more attention than expected. I appreciate the helpful comments. I'm going to have one more conversation with my husband basically laying everything out and insisting on couple's counseling. During our past conversations, I did express myself fully and things would get better for a bit then go back to sucking. I think I'm at the point where I'm not willing to go back to our new status quo so that'll be different. Of course, this being Reddit, there were also a lot of off the wall assumptions that I'll address: 1. I'm not jealous of my child. I purposefully chose the word "envy" because it's a feeling of wanting what someone else has whereas "jealous" has a threatening connotation to it and involves resentment. There's absolutely no resentment here. 2. To those saying I'm going to go crazy, I would never hurt my child nor have I ever. My husband is also not a danger to me. 3. I have never cheated, nor have I "gotten fat and lazy." 4. For those wondering why my husband has the sudden change, I did reply to one commenter shortly after posting about my husband's terrible childhood and he thought the toddler years would be difficult for him to process. But we seem to be stuck with a huge wall between us now. 5. My husband is in individual therapy (12 years) but I am currently not. I'll have to look into online options since I don't have a sitter. 6. I have my own hobbies and group of friends that I go out with but I'd still enjoy spending time with a husband who wants me. Otherwise, we're just awkward roommates. 7. No I'm not a sex-crazed maniac. Didn't realize wanting weekend sex and maybe once during the week was considered unreasonable to some. It never was problem before and my husband hasn't really discussed it with me now. Just rebuffed and avoided me. 8. Lastly, I'm not a mooch living off my husband's hard work. While I mentioned being a housewife, that doesn't mean I don't work. I left my regular full-time job after having the baby since my pay wouldn't cover daycare. But I've transitioned to running my own company online while taking care of my child and keeping the house up. I'm making over twice as much as I was pre-baby while still doing all the housewife stuff. I can be fully self-sufficient if need-be. ​ ​ [**Update post**](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/zpz2n8/update_im_envious_of_the_relationship_my_child/) **on** [**r/TrueOffMyChest**](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/) **(Dec 19th 2022).** **Update: I’m envious of the relationship my child has with my husband and I wish my husband still treated me the same.** Even though I shouldn’t have been, I was quite surprised at all the negativity I received. Comments saying how I was the problem, had unrealistic expectations, or even were comparing me to a book character who offs her children. It was also eye-opening how many people thought having a healthy relationship was a fairytale or that I was living in a romance novel. Also, it was never about me being jealous of our child. It was a way to show the juxtaposition of how opposite I’m treated vs the capacity of affection that’s possible. So many people glossed over that and decided to make their own narrative. On to the update. I ended up showing my husband the post that evening and sat in silence while he read it and everyone’s comments. Part way through, I noticed tears falling down. He told me he didn’t realize I felt this way. I asked how it could be a surprise when I’ve literally told him this more than once. I told him I was at my breaking point. I felt like I was put on a shelf, stuck in suspended animation, waiting for the time he remembers I’m around. He ended up calling his therapist and my husband invited me to sit in on an “emergency” therapy session the next day with him. Basically, in their sessions, they’ve been focusing on healing my husband’s relationship with his childhood so that he can be a good father instead of an avoidant detached parent. Being around our child at the same age my husband’s trauma started has been extremely triggering for him and he’s been putting up lots of walls and internalizing his feelings. What has also happened is that my husband has been mentally focused so much on his past and childhood, he’s shut down all affection toward me. He’s built an emotionally numb bubble to live in as a coping mechanism. In the session, my husband said that reading my post was a wake-up call and made him realize he was about to lose me. He doesn’t want a divorce and wanted me to ask any questions I have in this safe space. The answers I got were that there is an element of depression but no self-destructive coping mechanisms like infidelity, gambling, drugs, etc. I can only take my husband’s word for it. His therapist did say that he sees no indicators of those. The therapist focuses on my husband’s type of trauma so I can only trust his expertise as well. So while my husband’s therapist won’t see us as a couple, he said having me attend a session was beneficial since he was only getting one side of the relationship dynamics and was under the impression all was well (-ish), or at least not at a breaking point. His therapist gave us a recommendation for a trauma couple’s therapist that we’ve made an appointment for. We left the emergency sessions with some actionable tips and reading material for me to better understand what was going on. My husband has had a few one-on-one sessions with his therapist since the one with me and he shared they’re working on him being more present in our relationship instead of focusing only on our child. I’m hopeful for our upcoming couple’s session. In the past, I never wanted to go to couple’s therapy because it’s portrayed in media that both sides air grievances about the other and treat the other spouse like a verbal punching bag. I don’t find that helpful. But after talking with our couple’s therapist on the phone, we’re going to focus on strategies to rebuild intimacy with one another and go from there. No more living like awkward roommates. There’s still lots of love in our relationship that wasn’t being given enough oxygen to thrive. We have some work to do but are both committed to working together. TLDR: Things are hopeful. Not sorry if that disappoints you. ​ # Friendly reminder that I am NOT the OP, this is a repost.

OP feels envious of the relationship her husband has with their child.

ONGOING

swankycelery

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zvp18y/op_feels_envious_of_the_relationship_her_husband/

zvrniu

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/throwra-lost281 in r/relationship_advice** trigger warning: >!domestic abuse!< ---   [**I (27F) have romantic and confused feelings for my coworker (30F). We have more or less been living together since COVID started and she is openly gay. I don't know if i am, and i am terrified i will lose my only friend if i mess this up.**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/itnt00/i_27f_have_romantic_and_confused_feelings_for_my/) - 16 September 2020 Some backstory i was engaged for 3 years to my ex (34M) up until late 2018. He was a terrible and abusive person that screwed me up. I graduated from a good University with an Engineering degree, and even had a great job lined up, but stupidly decided to follow him to the middle of nowhere. I quickly realized i was trapped, and it took almost 2 years before i finally managed to get the courage to leave. Last year i got an entry level position at a tech company (hard when you have no experience for 3 years) and moved away from my parents. My mentor was someone who i will call Laura, who to me is one of the most beautiful, strongest, smartest and nicest people i have ever met. We ended up becoming close friends pretty quickly. I still cringe about it, but I told her about my previous relationship and how badly it damaged me. She introduced me to her friends, constantly invited me out to do things outside work. It was probably the first time i have had a friend since university. After COVID started and we all had to WFH she invited me to work together with her at her home office instead of being confined to the suffocating bedroom i am renting. We have been working side by side since then. It has slowly became more then just work. We go jogging in the morning, we would take turns making lunch and dinner or doing it together. After work we would play games, TV, etc. She constantly reassured me that i wasn't being a pest and she constantly insisted that i come over. I was getting butterflies when i would see her like a teenager, and i felt depressed when i was not around her. For the last few months, i have been struggling with my feelings, i don't really know. I still find men attractive, but at the same time Laura makes me feel the same way. I will be honest there have been times where i have thought about kissing her. But i am terrified and confused, i am terrified that if she rejects me it is going to destroy our friendship. My other issue is that at work she has seniority over me and i am terrified if i am just reading into everything too much. This weekend we went to her family's cottage, just the two of us. We shared a bed, and she asked me if i had ever considered being in a relationship with a woman. I hesitated a lot and then she immediately changed the subject. Since then i have been panicking, i took today off saying i was sick (she pretty much insisted on marching over and taking care of me, but i asked her not to) to try and figure out my thoughts. But i don't know. I talked to my Mom today who gave me a completely different perspective, and told me that i am not gay and i am just becoming overly attached because of what i went through, and i am terrified of losing my close bond with Laura if she starts seeing someone. I guess what i am asking is what do i do? I don't really have anyone else to ask right now. **Thank you all. I am going to go tell her now, i pray it goes the way i hope it will.** **Update** I told her I would be open to a relationship with a woman, and we kissed and it was fine? However she wants to take things very slowly, we are going to have a date this week. She also wants me to sort out of my feelings, and make sure this is really what i want. She also told me that dating a woman is completely different then being with a man. She told me she doesn't want to rush into anything, as i am confused by dating someone of my same gender. She also told me to think long and hard about this, she pointed out that she knows my family is quite religious and asked what would i do if they rejected the idea of me dating a woman. She also said for now we need to keep this quiet. During work hours we need to be 100% professional, and focus on work among other things. Which i agreed with. She also said if i am unable/uncomfortable with things like intimacy, being seen with another woman, etc would be deal breakers. However she said if i do realize i am not bi, then we can stay friends and just keep doing what we have been doing for awhile and it would be fine with her. I am a big mess of different emotions right now. So thank you reddit for giving me the final push to confess. TL;DR; I have feelings for my gay single coworker, and after basically living with her for the last ~6 months or so i don't know what i am supposed to do. I am terrified.   [**UPDATE - I (27F) have romantic and confused feelings for my coworker (30F). We have more or less been living together since COVID started and she is openly gay. I don't know if i am, and i am terrified i will lose my only friend if i mess this up.**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/iwrfax/update_i_27f_have_romantic_and_confused_feelings/) - 21 September 2020 I wanted to say thank you all you guys gave me a push to try something that I was on the fence about. For the first time in a long time I feel happy and content. I managed to sort my feelings out and realized that this is what I want. We went on a few dates, and it went well, nothing huge since we are both leery of COVID. But I was able to present myself as her girlfriend, to her circle of friends and I had no issues with that. Most of her friends were very supportive. Last night I pretty much told Laura everything I had said in my reddit post, and she fully accepted what I said, and seemed happy. I am also really glad I told her because apparently after the cottage she felt that I was not interested in her as anything more then a friend, and was going to move on emotionally. She also has given me a drawer, a copy of her house keys, and a toothbrush and has told me I can stay there whenever I want, and if I really wanted to I could just move in since we have basically been living together almost since COVID started. I will be honest I also realized that I don't know a whole lot about Laura, and she was completely comfortable telling me anything and everything. Which made me feel very comfortable. We also talked about work, and she said she is going to transfer to a different team, just to avoid any complications from that. I also told my parents about what is happening, and my mom was okay with it, however my dad was extremely supportive, and told me it didn't matter I am his daughter and that is all that matters. The only thing still bothering me revolves around intimatcy/sex, which are things I don't know about. I told Laura about my confusion around that and she has assured me not to worry and when the time comes it will be fine. I am probably rushing into stuff too much, but I feel happy for the first time. So thank you for helping me reddit. TL;DR; I am finally able to find happiness, and it is working out. So thank you reddit I need to sleep, but I will answer what I can tomorrow thank you for all the positive comments, it feels great.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

I (27F) have romantic and confused feelings for my coworker (30F). We have more or less been living together since COVID started and she is openly gay. I don't know if i am, and i am terrified i will lose my only friend if i mess this up.

REPOST

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zvrniu/i_27f_have_romantic_and_confused_feelings_for_my/

zvruf9

I'm not the OOP. This was posted by u/idkwhattodo9999 in r/amitheasshole. Mood Spoiler - >!Happy Update!< [Original](https://www.unddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ysxsgm/aita_for_telling_my_wife_its_her_own_fault_for/) (12 Nov 22) (*This link will take you to unddit since OOP deleted the original post*) **AITA for telling my wife it's her own fault for not getting invited on a group trip?** Me (32M) and my wife (31F) have been together for about 6 years. We get along wonderfully and through everything, have never had any major fights except for one thing. I personally feel like my wife makes no effort to get along with my friends. Now to give context, all my friends and I went to the same university for undergrad (3 guys and 3 girls that are married). My wife is the only one that did not have this common trait of attending undergrad between the 8 of us, which is really not a big deal if you ask me. Early on in our relationship, my friends would always try and be friendly to her and talk to her when we would mutually hang out. My wife was cordial, but you could tell that she was uncomfortable. I would speak with her about this, and she would always comment that she was an “outsider” to all of us. This always personally made me slightly miffed because I felt that my friends always made an effort to include her and make sure that she wasn’t singled out. Throughout the years, my wife would attend events with me but would seem distant and would sometimes skip group events to hang with her college friends if she had something else planned. My friends never said anything but were always nice and treated her kindly. Well this week I got a group text from my friends about planning a group vacation to somewhere next year. I quickly noticed my wife wasn’t on the group text and asked about it. I got a call from one of my friends who basically said that they didn’t invite my wife because: Based on all the previous interactions they didn’t think she would want to attend Even if she did want to attend, her attitude is crappy and they don’t want it to ruin the vacation I thanked my friend for his honesty and told him I’d think about it. And while I love my wife, I figured she more than likely wouldn’t want to go on a vacation with them. So I told my wife about the trip, and she asked about details. I told her that while I was invited, she wasn’t, and it wasn’t because of anything she did, but because they thought she wouldn’t want to attend. Well this statement just seemed to about how she is an outsider. She said that because of the history us 7 had together, she had no chance of ever being a part of the group. She then went on a rant about how my friends are awful people and that she deserved to be invited even if she didn’t want to be there because she is my wife. I sat there and listened to her vent and then finally I calmly told her that it was pretty much her own fault for not being invited, because she had taken such a hostile stance with them from the get go. She became a self fulfilling prophecy about being an outsider. That’s paraphrasing but something along those lines. She left the house and went to her mothers. I haven’t spoken to her in several days despite texts and phone calls to try and talk to her. I probably should have been more diplomatic about what I said, but I do feel my friends have been treated unfairly. AITA? **Verdict - Asshole** **Comments** **Top Comment** *YTA for not declining the event when they made it clear your wife wasn’t invited.* *It’s all couples. All spouses. EXCEPT her. You can call it a self-fulfilling prophecy if you like, but they really are proving exactly what she’s feared all along.* *That you not only didn’t defend your wife but thanked the friend who spelled out why she wasn’t invited is the definition of YIKES.* *Also want to call out this line: “(She) would sometimes skip group events to hang with her college friends if she had something else planned.” If she had something else planned, she didn’t ‘skip’ your events. She had plans. With the equivalent group to the one you had plans with.* >**Redditor** - INFO: Did you express to your friends that it was highly inappropriate for you to attend a couples vacation sans your wife? Because in the end, that is what this is, a couples vacation. They are going as married pairs and essentially invited you as their "single" friend despite the fact that you are married. >You seem to blame your wife 100% for her inability to break into the group. How much time do you spend with her friends? >>**OOP** - I did express my concerns to my friend about how my wife would take it, but the reponse was that they were standing on not inviting her. >>And I feel like I personally make an effort to hang out with her friends and their significant others. For instance my wife loves to golf, and while I'm not super into it, during the summer I will go out with her friend and her husband who enjoy doing it because I know she enjoys it. >>I don't feel the same reciprocation. \ >**Redditor** - I really want to say N T A but I feel like there is some missing info here. Has your friends done anything to hurt or insult your wife? Also how do her friends treat you? >>**OOP** - Her friends are nice to me. That's never been an issue. >>My friends have always been polite to my wife. As I said in the post, it's been six years and she has been invited to essentially everything with this group. She sometimes doesn't come out because she has plans with her friends or just doesn't want to go, but she will generally at least come out and say hi to everyone. >>>**Redditor** - Has she voiced any specific concerns about your friends? >>>>**OOP** - Prior to this no. >>>>She just always said she felt that she wished she had gone to undergrad with us so she felt like she could be a part of the group but it was impossible for her to fit in even though everyone liked her. >>>>>**Redditor** - Man, I’m going to be honest - sounds like they closed ranks and iced her out years ago; you’re just too attached to them to see their fault in it. Being polite is not being friendly and welcoming, and there is little worse than regularly joining a group that has their stories and idiosyncrasies and don’t let you in. I think you may have rose colored glasses on when it comes to your friends. >>>>>P.S. It is really, really odd to me that all your group friends married each other. Were they mad you dated and married an outsider? [Update](https://www.reddit.com/user/idkwhattodo9999/comments/zoz975/update_post/) (18 Dec 22) **Update Post** So I had gotten some people were asking for an update, so I figured I'd give one. I deleted my original post because holy cow I got some nasty messages from y'all. Some of which I'll say I deserved, others were just absolutely horrid, but hey, I asked for advice and had to deal with it. As for the raking over the coals it received in the comments, you guys were right. A lot of your comments rang true, and made me realize how much of an asshole I was being to my wife. I don't have any excuse for what I was thinking previously, but it was wrong. And in that moment, I realized that without intervention on my part, I was going to lose my wife. Hell even with intervention there was still a chance I would lose her, it was a giant wake up call to myself of how I was treating someone I loved and cared about. How could I be so callous and cold? Well I started with a phone call and a text to her. I stated the same in both, that I would not be attending the trip, and that when she was ready to talk, I would be at home waiting and that I was more sorry than I could ever be. I wouldn't be bugging her again until she was ready. So what happened in the first week following everything? It was radio silence for about 2 days, which I spent the entirety of pretty much shut off from the world. But my wife pulled into the driveway mid afternoon and came into the house. I could tell she was on the verge of tears, and so was I. She said wanted to have a serious talk about us, our relationship and it would likely be a rest of a the day conversation. So I let her speak. The first conversations were requirements for our relationship to had to be met to even potentially salvage it. 1. Couples counseling 2. I would not be friends out with my old college friends (sans one couple which will be relevant shortly) 3. And more effort and love from me I know many commenters said in my post that they didn't think I loved my wife, but I do. I seriously do. She's amazing and I wouldn't have married her if I didn't love her, so of course I agreed. She made it clear to me that even if I did do all these things, it didn't guarantee she would stay. I told her I understood and that all I could do was try and make up what I could. I then asked why I would be allowed to remain friends with the one couple (we'll call them J and K), and she told me that after the text about her being not invited came out and my dumbass response, J & K reached out to her. They apparently hadn't been told of this plan, and the two other couples had sprung it on them, when I responded about thinking about still going, they were pretty upset with my response, and reached out to her to make sure she was ok. They had texts to back up them not knowing about her not being invited, and texts reaming out the other two couples for doing this. They didn't text me or let me know anything because they were upset with me too (rightly so). The conversation went one for several more hours. Lots of tears, but it did end with a hug. So where does that bring us to today? In the month since the incident, and while things are not fully healed, I would say we are headed in the right direction. Couples counseling has been something I wished I would have done earlier, and has been very eye opening to many of my behaviors. My wife also has said that is has been useful to her as well, especially regarding our friendships. One of the main things I have learned is that I was not as open as I thought I was with my wife's friends. Hell, she could have written the same post about me and it would have been correct. While I was nice, was I putting in effort? Was I actively engaging with the group? How could I hold my wife to a standard that I myself wasn't even meeting with her friends? It was like a lightning bolt to my head of how I had been acting. My wife also admitted that she was closed off to the group, and that while she was friendly, she and myself had many of the same behaviors with each other's friends. I've tried to remedy that and have been actively working to be more engaged and social with her friends, I've even started golfing on my own with one of her friends husband's, and I think she appreciates the effort on that end. I've also noticed that in hanging with J&K, she's been much more outgoing and willing to talk with them and engage with conversation. It isn't lost on me that this likely due to the other two couples being awful people that she didn't talk previously, but I do greatly enjoy being able to spend time with my wife and my friends. The couples that planned the trip? I have talked to them once since, and it was a quick phone call to my ex friend, where I basically said I was going to go non contact if an apology was not issued to my wife. A half assed "sorry" was given, but obviously done just to try and appease me. I haven't spoken to them since and they haven't reached out to me. Good riddance. As for how my wife and I are, we are good. While I don't think I'll truly ever know how much I hurt her with my statements, I feel lucky that I've been given the chance to make amends. I gave her a small kiss on the cheek at an outing with J&K the other night. It's been the first sign of intimacy in a while, and my heart skipped a beat when she looked at me and smiled. It's a long road, and I consider myself lucky that I have been given an extra opportunity considering the circumstances I put our relationship in. And hell, maybe in a month she decides that she has had enough, and I would only have myself to blame if that happens. But, for the moment, I have started the process to rebuild my marriage and focus on the women I love and owe a lot to. She is an amazing person and I thank god I get the opportunity to try and learn from my experiences and become a better husband for her. Thanks for listening y'all. **Reminder - I'm not the OOP**

AITA for telling my wife it's her own fault for not getting invited on a group trip?

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prettiergenghis

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zvruf9/aita_for_telling_my_wife_its_her_own_fault_for/

zvugw6

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Violent child, enabled by spouse, has ruined our lives

ONGOING

MustardYellowSun

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zvv50u

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AITA for reporting my best friend to the HR because she got our coworker fired for harassment?

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[deleted]

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zvx8v1

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AITA for reporting my best friend to the HR because she got our coworker fired for harassment?

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[deleted]

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zvxdqe

** I am not OP. Original posts by u/New_Apartment_3168 on r/Advice, r/abusiverelationships and r/legaladvice ** Fun fact about frogs: frogs drink through their skin. There's a patch on their stomach and thighs that allows them to absorb water through the skin. Trigger Warning: >!Domestic Violence (no descriptions)!< Mood Spoiler: >!Emotional Rollercoaster!< [My abusive bf hasn’t had a job in six years…](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/z077zz/my_abusive_bf_hasnt_had_a_job_in_six_years/) Nov 20 22 I’m trying to get away from him but have nearly no assets. Today he’s supposed to help me move my stuff to storage (he doesn’t really own anything) under the guise of us downsizing until we find a smaller place (I’m putting the whole unit in my name and will be moving it again as soon as I can hire movers so he can have zero possible way to figure out where my things are; I would have hired movers today but I don’t have any money). When he goes into the hospital soon, I am gonna bounce but I have two cats, no family, nowhere to go, an DV shelters seem useless. I cannot get rid of my cats, they only know ‘me’ as their mom and aren’t socialized with others (thanks to my bf). Just very scared, entirely broke, and don’t know what to do. Also, because why not, he keeps using around me knowing I used to also use and the stress has caused me to relapse several times. I am sooo fucked if this keeps up. Just found out he had stolen a ton of money from me and had to steal it back. Don’t know what to do anymore. Advice? (Also because he doesn’t work, and I know if I don’t get my stuff out of here [which I can sell much of to restart my life], he’ll steal it or fuck with it… so it’s a whole mess). I feel like he’s definitely gonna come after me when he gets out of the hospital because he has nowhere to go, and once he finds out he can’t go to law school (lol he has an Ivy League undergrad degree but for law school will have to report all the drug arrests and the restraining order I’ll have to get against him), he will actually kill me. Also threatens to blackmail me constantly. I have no friends nor social network anymore. He’s said so many times that if he can’t get into law school or if I leave he’ll blackmail me and/or kill me. I need tons of advice here. Thank you for reading. In a comment: I don’t think anyone really understands my situation. I literally have NO friends. I was sick for a long time, and was pretty isolated. My parents and family were essentially my friends. So I legitimately do not have anyone I can call. I know the typical thing to do would be: secure belongings (if possible), get RO, get a place to sleep, get a job, but I don’t know anyone that would help me with a place to sleep. I don’t even have a vehicle or I would at least attempt to drive somewhere warmer, sell the car, get a cheap spot, and go to work ANYWHERE until I could find anything better. But I am entirely stuck [Best Redditor Comment:](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/z077zz/my_abusive_bf_hasnt_had_a_job_in_six_years/ix3wrsq) The core on any answer is to get that restraining order, find a place you can sleep, and get a job (in that order). You say you have no friends "anymore" - you might be surprised. If you can reach out to some old friends (especially if they predate bf) or family and tell them you need help, I'd wager at least one of them will come through. If you lose your stuff, you lose your stuff. It sucks, but stuff is replaceable. Don't let that be a priority to you or distract you from the core tasks at hand (and taking care of the cats). (She next tried to post for help on several subreddits but none of the posts were approved or saved, checked Unddit and they weren't visible there either) [What are women’s shelters like?](https://www.reddit.com/r/abusiverelationships/comments/zid8y8/what_are_womens_shelters_like/) Nov 30 22 In the process of leaving my abusive bf and I’m wondering what women’s shelters are like. Can you bring in your cell phone (need mine for work)? Can’t find answers on this. [Redditor:](https://www.reddit.com/r/abusiverelationships/comments/zid8y8/what_are_womens_shelters_like/izub05o) >Hi, I’m not sure where you are but I worked in a women’s shelter in Canada for five years. >As long as you’re turning off location services on your phone and not using apps that share your location i.e. Snapchat you should be good. >My shelter never took resident’s phones. Did you see this on the show Maid? I’ve never heard of any shelters in my area having this policy. >I also can’t think of a time when an abuser used a woman’s phone to locate her. The #1 reason abusers found a resident at the shelter is because the woman disclosed the shelter location to her abuser. >If you suspect your abuser may have installed spyware you can always ask the police to check your phone out. >I’d suggest looking up women’s shelters in your area online if you can do so safely. There may be more information for you there. Remember to erase your browser history afterwards. [OOP:](https://www.reddit.com/r/abusiverelationships/comments/zid8y8/what_are_womens_shelters_like/izvx2i3) >>Yeah lol, I just watched Maid and when they took the phones at the front desk I was like “fuck, I need mine for work!” Good to know a lot of DV shelters don’t do this. Definitely turning off location services / GPS; luckily I have an entirely different phone plan than my abuser and there’s no way he can access my phone (he’s not technologically savvy and he does NOT know my six digit password to get into my phone so I’m not worried about that, but thanks for letting me know!) [Are there any organizations / companies that offer assistance with moving costs if you’re a domestic violence victim trying to leave your abuser?](https://www.reddit.com/r/abusiverelationships/comments/zidgvc/are_there_any_organizations_companies_that_offer/) I read “College Hunks Hauling Junk” was one but when I called / reached out to their local office, I didn’t receive a reply. I live in the Philly area and need to get shelter services asap, but I can’t leave all my belongings behind (some are valuable and I just bought a whole house of furniture in 16-17 and I will need it when I get a new place). Money is super tight right now and I need help. Any suggestions? [Redditor:](https://www.reddit.com/r/abusiverelationships/comments/zidgvc/are_there_any_organizations_companies_that_offer/izrqxba) >Call or text the National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788 and they can give you local resources for so many things - because you're in a big city moving might be one of them. I hope for you that it is. >Just a reminder that your lease should also have a clause that if you are moving because of DV you can break the lease without cost - you may have I give a few days' notice but it shouldn't derail your plans. >I hope you get to safety with all your stuff. [Another Redditor:](https://www.reddit.com/r/abusiverelationships/comments/zidgvc/are_there_any_organizations_companies_that_offer/izqy2bj) >Meathead Movers does, or at least did, offer free moving services to DV survivors. I remember learning about them a few years ago. >https://blog.hireahelper.com/these-moving-companies-move-domestic-abuse-victims-for-free/ [OOP:](https://www.reddit.com/r/abusiverelationships/comments/zidgvc/are_there_any_organizations_companies_that_offer/izvwsos) Dec 10 22 >>Yeah I saw that, but unfortunately Meathead Movers are only based in CA while I’m in PA. Apparently College Hunks Hauling Junk do it but I’ve contacted their local office via email and phone and haven’t received any reply back :/ (Editor's note: it seems like OOP got out at some point before the next post) [Insurance firm didn’t take abusive ex’s name off policy and is insisting on putting any payment checks in BOTH our names](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/zlib7m/insurance_firm_didnt_take_abusive_exs_name_off/) Dec 13 22 Hi, A few months ago, I had a major theft claim from my old residence (this was a place I had only been staying in and my ex was not likely involved), and for the first time in my life, I had to file a claim against my insurance. Several years ago, when my ex and I were first together, I had him put on my policy documents because we had moved in together. I was told by the CS agent that sold me the policy that his being on there was revocable at any time. When I renewed my policy earlier this year, I told them to take his name off the policy, but it’s clear they did not, as I am now finding that even though I was the only payer (I started the policy; I paid for it the entire time; I asked them to remove his name off of it when the abuse got to be really bad), and I was the only person that incurred any losses, they’re demanding that the check for the losses be paid in both names. It’s outrageous to me because not only did I ask them to take his name off (and they did not apparently), but the only person that incurred loss WAS me, and that having a check under his name as well will literally cause me to have to put my life in danger just to get a refund for my losses. I don’t know what to do. I explained to the agent that I had told them to remove his name and that he is a danger to me, and nothing is being done. I can’t just let all of my stuff just be stolen because I’ll be worse than bankrupted if I can’t get the payout to pay for the items that I still owe on, but the insurance company isn’t listening and I’m scared to death that I’ll have to find him, which will put me and my pets in danger, to get the loss resolved. Advice? (Editor's note: original post didn't get much notice and didn't have much actionable advice.) [Best Redditor Comment:](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/zlib7m/insurance_firm_didnt_take_abusive_exs_name_off/j0l9pz5) Isn't there a reason 'all calls are recorded'. Surely there's proof of you requesting their name to be removed? [UPDATE: My insurance company listed my ex on my policy even though I requested them to remove him and now I’ve incurred a loss and his name will also be on the check…](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/znynhb/update_my_insurance_company_listed_my_ex_on_my/) Dec 16 22 Basically, my abusive ex was still on my policy and it was a HUGE problem because the check they were going to send would be in BOTH of our names, meaning I would have to face my abuser to get the check deposited, and knowing him, he’d just steal the money anyhow or do something shady, if he didn’t assault me first. Well, I emailed the CEO of the company and explained the situation. Two days later, I received an amended policy that shows that he was removed as of the renewal date (which was in February 2022), and is now no longer on the policy, and an emailed explanation that stated that as he was retroactively removed from the policy as of the renewal date, my claim (my theft claim which happened last month) won’t involve him whatsoever, and the check will arrive with ONLY my name on it!!! So grateful that my insurance company understands the situation and actually helped me! Editor's Note: OOP attempted to post a further update a few days later. I couldn't recover it originally, but u/UnicornSuit found it in Unddit. I've edited it in below. [UPDATE #2: insurance policy company is a Goddamned criminal](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/zq009g/update_2_insurance_policy_company_is_a_goddamned/) Dec 19 22 SO, the other day I posted an update about my original issue. Turns out today, my insurance company, even though they state the following in their policy docs: PERSONAL PROPERTY COVERAGE Covers your stuff if you experience something like theft or fire. Coverage is worldwide, so even if you're on vacation, you're protected. If you have a covered claim and you need to stay at a hotel, don't worry, we'll reimburse you for additional living expenses. That they will only COVER UP TO TEN PERCENT OF THE POLICY LIMIT IF THE STOLEN ITEMS ARE OFF THE PROPERTY. SO WOOO I CANNOT EVEN COVER A SET OF SILVERWARE WITH THAT. I emailed the CEO and if I don’t get an actual amount of help within 24 hours, I’ll be posting the name of the insurance company all over everywhere. Wow, been a customer for nearly a decade and no loss and HERE we are! [Mod:](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/zq009g/update_2_insurance_policy_company_is_a_goddamned/j0vin23) You won't be posting the name here. Marking this inconclusive based off the last post. Hopefully, OOP will post again and is doing better. ** Reminder: I am not the Original Poster. **

OOP attempts to leave their abusive bf and then gets robbed

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swtogirl

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zvxdqe/oop_attempts_to_leave_their_abusive_bf_and_then/

zvxfzm

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OOP attempts to leave abusive bf then gets robbed

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zvxfzm/oop_attempts_to_leave_abusive_bf_then_gets_robbed/

zvypz4

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AITA for reporting my best friend to the HR because she got our coworker fired for harassment?

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zvzlsb

I'm not the OOP. This was posted by u/ThrowRAihatemymom in r/relationship_advice. Trigger Warning: >! Infidelity, Abandonment, Suicide!< Mood Spoiler: >!depressing, sad and bleak!< [ORIGINAL](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/popj1a/mom40f_cheated_on_stepdad45m_and_ruined_my16m_and/) (15 Sept 21) **Mom(40F) cheated on Step-Dad(45M) and ruined my(16M) and my siblings' lives** I am a 16 years old male. I have 2 sisters (10F,8F). Our biological father was never in our lives. He left my mom when she was pregnant with me, came back 6 years later and said he wanted to make amends and that we could be a happy family. Somehow my mom immediately started saying that she loved him but he left after mom got pregnant again. Then 2 years later he came back, I cried and begged my mom to not let him into our lives because I hated him. Well, he said the same thing, my mom also said she loved him and then he left after she got pregnant again. My mom was a waitress so the 4 of us lived in a small one bedroom apartment. I was essentially another parent to my sisters because mom was always working. Sometimes, we wouldn't eat breakfast or dinner because we couldn't afford it. Other times, I did not eat anything so that my sisters could eat. My mom met another man (45M) a year after my youngest sister was born. He is a really good man. His wife and daughter had died in an accident a long time ago when he was in his 20s. He met my mom when he was ready to date again. He is a really good man and treated us like his own children and I consider him my father. He was very wealthy and owned multiple businesses. We eventually moved into his huge mansion like house. I also had a better school there. We 3 siblings got our own rooms and I got better clothes, played video games for the first time in my life and a bunch of other things. He taught me things, helped me catch up in school because I could not do well in the previous school. He spent a lot of time with the 3 of us. My sisters eventually started calling him "dad". I followed shortly after. I remember him crying, hugging us and telling he loved us when we called him dad for the first time. They eventually got married and dad asked me to be one of his groomsmen and of course, I said yes while my sister were my mom's bridesmaids. Mom stayed at home to take care of us. As far as I know, they were very happy together. They went on dates at least once in 2 weeks, kissed each other frequently and always told each other that they loved each other. He also knew about mom's past and realized she had issues and got her into counselling. I was really happy that my mom had finally found someone who treated her well. I was also very happy for myself and my siblings and really loved him. He also said that he would pay for college for the 3 of us. My dream is to become a doctor and I never thought it would be possible cause it was so expensive so and I was so freaking happy. Mom also told me she was very lucky to have found him and that she loves him and is very grateful of how he has made her and our lives better. Well, last year July dad discovered that my mom was having an affair with his best friend who was also the best man at their wedding. Apparently, the affair was going on for a long time, I do not know exactly how long. Mom cried and begged him to give her another chance. He didn't, understandably. He let us keep all the new things such as clothes for me and toys for my sisters. When I went to him crying and asking him why he was leaving us he just hugged me and told me about mom's affair. He said the affair is too painful and that he cannot be in this marriage anymore and then said that he loved me and my sisters. My sisters do not know about the affair, I do not think they will understand. He got a prenup so mom did not get anything that wasn't hers. Dad just had to pay the rent of a new apartment until the divorce was finalized. We stayed in a decent apartment but after the divorce was done we moved into a much smaller apartment. I tried to be in contact with him but it does not seem like he wants a relationship with me. He has never responded to my messages. I sent a final letter to him last year December thanking him for everything he did for me and my sisters and that I loved him and would remember him forever. So now we're back to a one bedroom apartment, skipping meals and barely being able to afford anything. I sleep on the floor now. My sisters share a bed while my mom uses another. Mom is a waitress again. I've also taken a part time at a grocery store to help with money. I just hate my mom so much right now. I only took the job to help my sisters. I have also stopped talking to mom. Recently she came crying to me and told me that she was sorry for ruining everything and she wanted me to talk to her. I broke down and just said "I don't understand. Why did you cheat on him? He was taking such good care of you and the 3 of us. He was also gonna send us to college. For the first time in my life, I was happy. You have destroyed my life. Why do you always have to ruin everything? You already did that twice when you let \[bio father\] back in my life. I hate you. I never want to talk to you again" She was crying a lot after I said that. I am gonna admit, what I said was pretty rude but at that time I was just so angry. I just hate her so much right now. I just wish she dies a very painful death. These thoughts are the only things in my head. It's making me go insane and I know it's not normal. I read online that therapy would be useful but we can't even afford food on most days so we don't have insurance. All I can think about is how she ruined everything. He didn't even ask for much. Mom was living such a luxurious life and was just at home taking care of her own biological children. I just miss him so much. Even my sisters keep asking when they are going back home or when they'll see dad again. They've also started crying and asking for dad a lot of times this past year. I just don't know what to do anymore. I am so frustrated and just angry at everything. I wish I could run from here but if I did who would take care of my siblings. That stupid mother can't do shit. I guess I'm here cause I need some help. I don't really know what to do. Some days, I'm just so tired and don't want to do anything. Other days I just wished I died and all of this ended. Thank you. ​ [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/qi4rdp/my_mom40f_committed_suicide_because_of_me16m/) (29 Oct 21) **My Mom(40F) Committed Suicide Because Of Me(16M)** Hello everybody. This is a throwaway account. About 2 weeks ago, I found my mom dead in our house. She had sent my siblings (10F,9F) to their friend's house and then hung herself. She really changed after she got divorced from my step dad after she cheated on him (I made a post about it recently). My mom and I didn't talk a lot after that. One of the last things I told her was that I hated her and asked her why she ruined my and my sisters' lives. I wish I didn't say that. Maybe she would have been alive if I supported her. I have had no contact with my step dad after the divorce. My sisters and I live with my mom's sister and her husband now. We never met them before this and even my mom never had contact with them but they are the only family that could be found and they agreed to let us live with them. My siblings and I don't like living here. Both of them are constantly shouting at each other and at us. We're just so uncomfortable here. I don't think they can afford food for all of us. I have a job at a grocery store so I mostly buy food for my siblings. My boss is also very nice and allows me to take home some extra things for free. I really miss my mom. My sisters are also always crying for her. She had her flaws but I still love her. She's my mom. The last thing I told her was that I hated her. I just wish that I told her that I love her and supported and helped her. Then she would've been alive today. What I told her tipped her over the edge. I can't do any of this anymore. I just don't know anything anymore. **Reminder - I'm not the OOP.**

OOP's Mom cheats on his step-dad and ruins their lives.

REPOST

prettiergenghis

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zvzlsb/oops_mom_cheats_on_his_stepdad_and_ruins_their/

zw03d7

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/wise-amphibian3311 in r/trueoffmychest** trigger warning: >!manipulation!< ---   [**I’m pregnant and my husband has been sleeping with my mother.**](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/zpbh03/im_pregnant_and_my_husband_has_been_sleeping_with/) - 18 December 2022 Hello. A few several friends and relatives follow my main Reddit account so I’ve made a new one to avoid creating more drama. I (26F) have found out my husband (30M) is having sex with my mother (52F). I honestly don’t know how to react. I’m fucking 4 months pregnant and I’m trying not to stress since it’s bad for the baby. I honestly had suspicions about my husband cheating. When I announced my pregnancy, he seemed happy. Over the moon actually. He was kissing me and telling me how lucky he was to have me but now he changed. About 2 weeks after my surprise announcement, he stopped hugging me and kissing me like usual. He stopped eating the meals I’d make for him after work and said he already ate some fast food or something. I also noticed he had changed his lock screen which was a picture of us. Not sure if that meant anything to be honest. I found out 3 days ago. I went through his phone while he was in the shower and found texts messages, videos, pictures. I’m sick to my stomach thinking about what I saw. I saw pictures of my mom in lingerie and he was replying with pictures of his penis, saying he was so hard for her. I even saw a message of regret. He had said that maybe they should stop since he didn’t want to hurt me but my mom said I wouldn’t get hurt as long as they kept it all a secret. But what angered me the most was the message she sent a few days ago. I’ll quote it here so anyone reading this can get an idea of how serious their affair is and has been. “I love you so much. More than you think. You’ve helped me through the passing of my beloved ex husband and for that I truly thank you. I know it is hard for you to keep a secret like this, for me it is too. I love my daughter with all my heart but she will have to accept eventually that love is love and that the heart wants what it wants. Our hearts want each other. I thought that ever since my husband died, nobody would ever love me because i’m just an old woman but you have shown me to love my self and made me feel young and sexy again. let’s keep having fun and cherishing each other.” I think it’s important to know my father passed away about 5 years ago from a stroke and my mother said she refused to get back into dating or romance because my father is her “forever love and only and only.” It’s absolute bullshit. I’m fucking crushed and it’s the fact that I know they had sex after that message because that was the night he didn’t come home until 1 in the morning due to “work and paid overtime.” I actually threw up after reading that message. I have screenshots of the messages and have sent the videos to myself. Of course I deleted them on his phone so it looked like he never sent me anything. I’m numb. I’m confused. I’m hurt so bad. I cant even cry because I refuse to believe it. My husband is at work. I’m sitting on the edge of my bed writing this. Any advice? Please. I’m desperate for just a little bit of anything really. This baby in me is honestly the only thing preventing me from confrontation. I’m afraid that confronting them now will cause too much stress and anger and I want the best for my child. At this point all I want to do is have my baby. Christmas is soon and I don’t want to ruin it for the family. I had also planned on announcing my pregnancy that day. Please help me. (1) Hello. Thank you all so much for the support. Really, you don’t understand how much it means to me to see so many strangers online wishing me well. I did not expect my post to gain this much attention. Around 2 hours ago, I confronted my husband when he came home from work. I told him that I know everything. I showed him the pictures and messages. At first he denied but when I showed him the evidence he started crying. Crying. Actually crying. He had the nerve to cry and get on his knees while holding and caressing my stomach. He told me that I would be a bad mother if I left him and raised my child without a father because a baby needs a dad in their life to fully grow mentally and physically. I honestly don’t know what to say at that except that it’s pure bullshit. I told him that I was contacting a lawyer in order to file for divorce. I had already packed my things before he came home. I’m currently staying at a local motel about 30 minutes away from my home. I’ve asked my cousin if I can stay with her for a few days and she has agreed. I’m getting everything sorted from there. My husband has been blowing up my phone with messages and apologies. He’s told me that if I take him back, he won’t do anything to hurt me ever again and he will cut all ties with my mother. As for her, I’ve also confronted her. I messaged her once I got to my motel. I told her I was pregnant and that she will never get to see her grandchild. She has not responded yet. I have also moved all my finances that I had in my husband and i’s shared bank account to my personal savings account. You don’t understand how grateful and appreciative I am for the support. I apologize that I could not reply to all the personal messages I’ve been receiving as well. It’s been hell. I’ll try my best to update if my mother does end up replying to me. Again, thank you all so much. (2) I am safe. I’m been receiving a lot of messages from those who are concerned for my well being. I am safe and I’m finally at my cousin’s house. Thank you all once again for the supportive messages and replies. I also would like to thank you all for the awards. They mean so much to me. My mental health is getting better every single day, all thanks to you amazing people for offered me advice and kind words. I have chosen to cut all ties off with my mother. She messaged me just a few hours ago and I honestly do not have the heart to reply. It’s also made me rethink my situation. “I’m so sorry for the pain and hurt I’ve caused you. It was never meant to go this far. I love you so much, with every inch of my heart but you are not the victim. How dare you hold this against me and take away my right to see my one and only grand baby? You are cruel. If you do this, you will forever live life regretting. Please do not do this to me. I am your mother, I love you. I have ended it with (my husbands name.) We are no longer on speaking terms. Please push past this. A child cannot be raised without a father or grandmother. I love you, (my name which will not be shared.) Please call me.” I cut out some more personal things from the text. I have a lawyer and am in the process of looking for an apartment. I have no intention on allowing either my former husband or mother into my child’s life but I’m also afraid that my child will grow up deprived of many child-father bonding experiences. This may be my last update as I want to move on and away from all of this. As for my husband, his messages have gone quiet which I am thankful for. My cousin has been helping through this and is currently the only family member other than my mom and husband who know about the affair. I’m very appreciative to all the support. I hope you all have an amazing holiday.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

I’m pregnant and my husband has been sleeping with my mother.

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toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zw03d7/im_pregnant_and_my_husband_has_been_sleeping_with/

zw260i

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/throwawayacc78883fy in r/tifu** ---   [**TIFU by finding a hidding message years later.**](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/pgwhx5/tifu_by_finding_a_hidding_message_years_later/) - 3 September 2021 Five years ago, there was this cute girl, in my tennis club. She was very shy and would barely talk. Her best friend kept telling me that she likes me, but I never believed her, and since the girl would always avoid talking to me I didn't even bother to make a move. We were at a summer camp, making origamis. She then nervously came up to me, and handed me an origami and said here I made this one for you. Didn't think much of it, now 5 years later I still have this origami on my night desk. I'm going to move out in a few days, I was packing my stuff, I saw the origami on the night shelve and picked it up. I noticed a little writing on the inside of the origami. I didn't want to spoil the origami, but I eventually did. It was actually a little note. It said I really like your freckles, and you're very kind below was her number. Now I do feel very very dumb, not really because I missed the chance, but because she must have thought all this time that I ignored her etc. We still follow each other on Instagram, but idk if I should hit her up. I just want to punch my face into the wall, I missed such a great opportunity, should have listened to her friend :/ Btw I'm 22 rn I'm not quite sure how old she is but I think 20-21. TL:DR **UPDATE** It's currently 11 o'clock. I send her a message on Instagram, she replied. We chatted for a bit, and then it was sort of awkward, I explained to her how I just found the message, and that I thought it was a nice gesture. Surprisingly she was quite excited and happy, didn't expect that. She immediately asked me, if I wanted to get coffee today at around 17 o'clock. I'm not sure if I'll be able to go today, since I'm still at the hospital, and they're taking so long, but if I do I'll definitely keep you guys updated on how it went. (Plus, never realized how much of an impact a compliment could have, personally I never liked my freckles, since they basically cover my whole face, and I never met someone who liked them either. Knowing that someone thinks they look good honestly made my day. Just wanted to share) **UPDATE** We met an hour earlier than expected, luckily I got out of hospital in time. The weather was nice, so we decided to meet at the park, and bought iced coffee. While I was texting with her a few hours prior, she sounded really confident etc, but when I met her, she was still super shy. She was very nice, but yeah didn't talk much. A few hours in she did start to open up a bit and get talkative. We went to an Asian restaurant (all you can eat). And damn I must say, she really took all you can eat to another level, she understood the assignment, and was out there trying every dish, I think the waitresses were on the edge of kicking us out lol. Afterwards, she didn't seem shy anymore, we went over to my place, and y'all I honestly need to shit so bad, but I can't. Anyways we're currently watching a movie, and her head is on my shoulder, that's a good sign I guess. I need to put my phone away now. Btw her best friend texted me saying I told ya, didn't I?   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

TIFU by finding a hidden message years later.

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toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zw260i/tifu_by_finding_a_hidden_message_years_later/

zw2qbj

** I am not OP. Original posts by u/palathea on r/teaching ** [What to do? Students keep stealing my stuff](https://www.reddit.com/r/teaching/comments/xz7ep7/what_to_do_students_keep_stealing_my_stuff/) Oct 8 22 In the last two weeks, two of my figurines on my desk at work have gone missing and a book I had on my desk (using it for a lesson) disappeared. I’ve obviously gone and removed everything important to me because I don’t want them to disappear, too. I’ve asked students to return it (promising no consequences if it just coincidentally showed up one day) but still no dice. I hate that I can’t trust the students to leave my stuff alone and also how empty my classroom looks without them. What can I do to secure my belongings better/build a class community where this doesn’t happen? [Comment:](https://www.reddit.com/r/teaching/comments/xz7ep7/what_to_do_students_keep_stealing_my_stuff/irkvsrw) You can always try to offer up a small reward like candy, stickers, homework passes, etc. to a student who may volunteer information. My colleague had candy stolen out of her closet and she offered a treat to any student who told her what they knew. The kids all told her who it was real quick. They are NOT loyal in 8th grade, let me tell you 😂 [Comment:](https://www.reddit.com/r/teaching/comments/xz7ep7/what_to_do_students_keep_stealing_my_stuff/irl75b4) I get real petty. I work in a juvenile prison and have stuff stolen all the time. I take away all the fun stuff until the item is returned. And then complain a lot. ....well if I could trust my. Class we'd get x back ..... the last time I got those out something was stolen. I usually get it back pretty quickly [Comment:](https://www.reddit.com/r/teaching/comments/xz7ep7/what_to_do_students_keep_stealing_my_stuff/irl40cb) Elementary: I would email and/or send a note home to parents. Middle/High: 'Hey class, it seems someone might have accidently gotten a hold of (item). This (item) is really important to me and holds a lot of sentimental value, if you could please return it, or have any information on where it is, I can get you an extra bathroom pass/candy bar/homework pass/whatever. Thanks everyone, hope it turns up.' And then never leave anything of sentimental value out ever again. Some student (I'm 99% sure who it is, and have contacted parents) stole my lego harry potter book this year. It's been almost two months now and I don't think I'm getting it back. So, unfortunately, any fun books (that I bought or were given to me as a gift) that have sentimental value to me have been taken home. [Update: Students stealing my stuff](https://www.reddit.com/r/teaching/comments/y2z43q/update_students_stealing_my_stuff/) Oct 13 22 Not sure what to flair this one haha I just wanted to come by and thank y’all for your help the other day. I asked for advice on getting my stuff back after kids stole it off my desk in my classroom. You all gave me a ton of options. I ended up barring the kids from using art supplies in the classroom without explicit permission or using personal devices for music (to prevent them from getting stolen), and I’m happy to say that it worked!! I went in the drawers of my tech desk yesterday morning and found my missing figurine with a card apologizing. I’m sure the student doesn’t realize his handwriting is extremely distinctive, but I’m not going to pursue anything because he did return the figurine to me. Idk if this is a teacher win or what, but it made me happy! I brought Aurene home and she’s watching over my quilting area now. :) ** Reminder: I am not the Original Poster. **

What to do? Students keep stealing my stuff

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swtogirl

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zw2qbj/what_to_do_students_keep_stealing_my_stuff/

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Was I wrong ?

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/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zw7kn3/was_i_wrong/

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He told me he broke up with me the first time because I was clingy (relationship advice needed)

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My brother tricked his wife into naming their kids after Robins

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rhetorical_twix

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AITA for banning my 8yo nephew from my place until my sister replaces my stuff that my nephew lost / broke?

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/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zwjd3g/aita_for_banning_my_8yo_nephew_from_my_place/

zwl5r6

I'm not the OOP. This was posted by u/girlfriedcheat in r/trueoffmychest. **Trigger Warning** - >!infidelity, homophobia!< **Mood Spoiler** - >!positive!< [Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/ymef2z/my_girlfriend_kissed_a_woman_and_lied_to_me_about/) (5 Nov 22) **My girlfriend kissed a woman and lied to me about her sexuality.** I am male and my girlfriend is a lesbian. I knew our relationship was rocky when the frequency of sex went down from twice a week to once a month. She has also been dressing nicer and leaving the house more to hang out with her "friends". I found out when one of my best friends saw my girlfriend making out with a woman and he took a picture (like a weirdo). He showed it to me thinking it was hot, but it was not "hot". I confronted her about it and she finally broke down and told me the truth. She came out to me as a lesbian and said she had trouble coming to terms with her sexuality and her parents told her that "it was a phase" and "it's dishonoring the family". I just want her to go back to normal. She broke up with me but maybe her family is right. Maybe it is a phase, or maybe she is making excuses to break up with me. She was very interested in me at the start and seem to be enjoying the sex, but I'm not even sure. Please just let this be a phase, somehow. :( [Update 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/yp7naf/update_my_now_exgirlfriend_is_a_lesbian_and/) (8 Nov 22) **UPDATE: My (now) ex-girlfriend is a lesbian and cheated on me which led me to realize my parents and I were evil bigots.** Read my other post for further info because my post will get removed if a link is there. I debated with myself if getting back together with her was worth it and I realized it wasn't. The relationship was weird, it was very passionate sometimes and very boring at other times. Relationships should be a constant healthy amount of love with a few bumps in the road. Ours just wasn't it. After reading the comments on the original post and doing some research on homosexuality, I realized that you are BORN that way. All this time I thought it was just some weird phase because my ex's parents are like my parents except the only reason they didn't disown me is that I followed their own dreams instead of mine. Whenever I see it on Tiktok when queer kids say it wasn't a phase, I'd brush it off and call them attention seekers under my breath. Whenever I talked to them about LGBTQ they shut down the conversation and say that "it's a phase" "human biology isn't supposed to work that way" and "that humans are wired to feel attraction to the opposite gender." I realized that my parents were cold-hearted bigots who were homophobic. Just like my ex's parents. I hate myself and my parents. I realize all along I am a cold-hearted bigot just like my disgusting parents. [Update 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/zr8eej/update_2_my_ex_is_my_friend_now/) (21 Dec 22) **UPDATE 2: My ex is my friend now** Read my other posts on my profile because my posts get removed if there is a link. To sum it up real quick, my ex had cheated on me with a woman and came out to me as a lesbian. I was hurt and confused and thought it was a phase but after getting cheated on realized I was a cold-hearted bigot. My ex contacted me recently and she apologized for all of the hurt and pain she has caused me. I still felt a little pain but I've been going to the gym more often to deal with the hurt. I scroll on Instagram and I see her happy smiling with the woman she cheated on me with. After we hung out at a coffee shop and it was very awkward. I suggested that maybe we can be friends and she agreed. However, due to her past of being a lying scumbag, I will keep her at an arm's length. Because I feel like keeping her distant will be good for me so I don't completely miss out on her. **Reminder - I'm not the OOP**

My girlfriend kissed a woman and lied to me about her sexuality.

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prettiergenghis

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zwl5r6/my_girlfriend_kissed_a_woman_and_lied_to_me_about/

zwlh7k

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/throwaway-6928 in r/amitheasshole** ---   [**AITA for banning my 8yo nephew from my place until my sister replaces my stuff that my nephew lost / broken?**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zqhupa/aita_for_banning_my_8yo_nephew_from_my_place/) - 20 December 2022 I (30F) practically raised my 8yo nephew and love him as my own. My sister (28f) used to work afar so she had to leave him at my / my mother's care when he was a baby. Three years ago she found a job and house nearby, but my nephew still spends his weekdays in my place and only goes at my sister's place during the weekends. My nephew tends to be careless with everyone's stuff, but he's specially careless with mine. I think because he's closest to me and has no restrictions. He has already broken two phones, two eyeglasses, 1 laptop and so many other stuff. I chalk it up to him being a kid and therefore never gets mad. But when he turned 8, I started teaching him about boundaries. That when I tell him something is hands-off, then he must not play with it. A concept he's really having a hard time with. Yesterday I saw him fiddling with the contact lenses I just bought the other day. I told him it's a hands-off because I will need to wear it for an office party later, and that I wouldn't have any backup because he just broke my eyeglasses. An hour before the party, all I have to do is wear my contact lenses... et voila! It's missing. When I asked my nephew, he admitted to have dropped it. We looked for it to no avail, and I ended up not being able to go to the office party. This is the only time I got really mad. I got mad that he didn't listen to me for the nth time and that he didn't even bother picking it up after dropping it, because to me that shows his lack of respect to me. Sure I can buy a new pair again just like what I've done several times in the past, but I really wanted to teach him a lesson about boundaries and respect, and in my perspective, the best way to do that is show him the consequences. So, I dropped him to his mom afterwards and told both of them that he will be banned at my place until they replace either the contact lens he lost or the eyeglasses he broke. My sister does not agree with my method, said I'm being petty for getting mad over it and she would rather spend money on food. My mother thinks I'm being harsh considering it will be christmas soon, and that my nephew is still too young to understand what I'm trying to teach him I felt I was right, but now I'm not sure. AITA for banning my 8yo nephew to teach him about consequences, considering that it will be Christmas soon? Verdict: ESH **UPDATE** Thank you to all who gave their feedback. I just talked to my nephew and he agreed to write a whole-page essay to reflect about his actions, and to wash the plates at home for two weeks to pay for what he lost. I agree that banning him from my place might be too harsh, but to clarify, it isn't like I didn't try to talk to him or discipline gently when he was younger. His habit has mellowed down towards other people's stuff but not towards mine, which I conclude is because of his total lack of fear of me. I am not fond of punishments / discipline by fear because I grew up from that kind of environment. I think I want to be his security blanket because I didn't have one growing up, but it can be a struggle to balance things out. Appreciate all those who gave their advice!   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

AITA for banning my 8yo nephew from my place until my sister replaces my stuff that my nephew lost / broke?

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toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zwlh7k/aita_for_banning_my_8yo_nephew_from_my_place/

zwn6pf

#2nd Annual BoRU's "Best of" Nominations   Let's celebrate the year by acknowledging the most memorable posts of 2022. Rules: One nomination per comment. Add a link and title if you're a top level comment. Please do not submit yourself.   Nominate & vote for your favorites from 2022 under the categories below: 1. **Best Post** 1. **Best Contributor** 1. **Most Wholesome** 1. **Most Rage Inducing** 1. **Most Satisfying Outcome** 1. **Best Surprising 180° Twist** 1. **Best Post with the Lowest Stakes**   Nominations end Jan 6th. Winners will be announced shortly after. Post is set to contest mode, votes are hidden.  

BEST UPDATES of 2022 Nominations & Voting are Now Open!

Best of 2022

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zwn6pf/best_updates_of_2022_nominations_voting_are_now/

zwpb7s

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I made my dad choose between me and his new family...

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I made my dad choose between me and his new family...

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zwrssw

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I made my dad choose between me and his new family...

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I made my dad choose between me and his new family...

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zwtk6j

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Airbnb Allowing host to place cameras in the room where I would be sleeping

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I made my dad choose between me and his new family...

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zwwhvd

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AITA for reporting my best friend to HR because she got our coworker fired for harrassment

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Cheeseballfondue

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zwwhvd/aita_for_reporting_my_best_friend_to_hr_because/

zwwnlz

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I made my dad choose between me and his new family...

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zwwnlz/i_made_my_dad_choose_between_me_and_his_new_family/

zwx3ee

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I made my dad choose between me and his new family...

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zwx3ee/i_made_my_dad_choose_between_me_and_his_new_family/

zwx44b

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My married next door neighbour is cheating on her husband with at least 2 different guys during the day while he's at work. WWYD?

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zwx44b/my_married_next_door_neighbour_is_cheating_on_her/

zwxf7q

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Not senior enough to be promoted, but senior enough to train the new senior person

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zwxf7q/not_senior_enough_to_be_promoted_but_senior/

zwxjs7

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I need 100 dollars

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zwxjs7/i_need_100_dollars/

zwxxhy

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OOP's ex's girlfriend texted her, OOP warned her about her ex and OOP also lost her best friend for that.

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zwxxhy/oops_exs_girlfriend_texted_her_oop_warned_her/

zwyi8w

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i love my boyfriend but i feel trapped in the relationship

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tatelover27

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zwyi8w/i_love_my_boyfriend_but_i_feel_trapped_in_the/

zwz3jx

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I made my dad choose between me and his new family...

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zwz3jx/i_made_my_dad_choose_between_me_and_his_new_family/

zwz43w

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My married next door neighbour is cheating on her husband with at least 2 different guys during the day while he's at work. WWYD?

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zwz43w/my_married_next_door_neighbour_is_cheating_on_her/

zx28l2

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Roommate demands to illegally keep a dog

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zx28l2/roommate_demands_to_illegally_keep_a_dog/

zx4zbs

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my dad's in the icu. I can't post a link here but please message me send prayers please

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Fun-Season-6443

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zx4zbs/my_dads_in_the_icu_i_cant_post_a_link_here_but/

zx75cj

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I made my dad choose between me and his new family...

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zx75cj/i_made_my_dad_choose_between_me_and_his_new_family/

zx75ji

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My married next door neighbour is cheating on her husband with at least 2 different guys during the day while he's at work. WWYD?

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[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zx75ji/my_married_next_door_neighbour_is_cheating_on_her/

zxcxt2

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/pokegirl040992 in r/family** ---   [**I made my dad choose between me and his new family...**](https://www.reddit.com/r/family/comments/mj358z/i_made_my_dad_choose_between_me_and_his_new_family/) - 3 April 2021 My father (52) and I (25f) along with my 3 yrs old cocker spaniel, Moxie, live in my mom's ancestral house that I inherited along with other assets when she died when I was 16 due to cancer. My father got married to his high school sweet heart a few months ago while he was on a trip with his friends. Apparently they've been in contact for almost 2 years now. I was shocked but it his life and if he's happy then I am okay with it. They moved in a week after the small wedding that I wasn't even invited to since I had no idea that they were even dating or that he was dating. She, my dad's wife that we'll call Steph (51), came with a baggage, I mean twin stepsisters (20f) Lizzie and Lexie (fake names) and their 2 chihuahuas, Gucci and Hermes . They go to the state college nearby and thought that it would save them money if they live here instead of paying rent etc. My dad asked if it was okay and he also stated that the house is big enough for us (7 bedrooms, 8.5 baths, a basement and a huge yard with a pool). To make my dad happy I said yes, big mistake. First issue was the argument of me moving to a smaller room since my room has the second biggest closest out of all the rooms in the house. She needed it to store all her luxury bags and clothes etc. I said no. I told her it's been my room since I can remember and she's not making me move when it's MY house. My dad compromised with her that he'll give his side of the closet to her, while his things are in the other room. Second issue, the twins have this habit of barging in to people's room without knocking and that includes my office (currently working from home due to Covid). Lexie walked in one time wearing a bikini looking for something while I was in the middle of a business meeting. She literally walked behind me where everyone could see her. I was pissed off and embarrassed. Third, their dogs are not potty trained and would leave poops and pee around the house and the twins wouldn't even clean up after them. They're also very aggressive towards Moxie, I found Moxie one time with a scratch on her left eye where the other two dogs would usually nip at when they get the chance. Fourth, all the family photos in the house were removed and put in the attic without my approval, that includes my grandparents', my great grandparents', my mother's family photo, my family photo, my baby pictures, etc. I took my time to put them all back to where they belonged. This happened a few times. Two days ago, Steph did it again but this time she replaced them with her pictures, the twins, and her family etc. Steph and I had a heated argument about it. I told her that she can't do anything regarding the decorations etc. in MY house without my approval and that her daughters should also learn how to knock on doors and have their dogs potty trained. She said that they can whatever they want in her house and that she will be making up house rules that we will all follow since she thinks I'm such a wild animal doing whatever I want and that I was not raised properly due to having a bad useless mother. I was livid, that's an understatement. I told her that she can pack her things along with her twins because I am kicking her out. She said that I have no right to kick them out from her house. I told her and I quote "Lady, you are living under my roof. This is MY house. I inherited it from my mother and right now you, your twins, and your dogs are trespassing. Get out before I call the cops." My dad got home early that day after Steph told him what happened. I told him my side of the story. He said that they're still getting used to the house and the move here was difficult for them. I told him about all the issues surrounding them, but he keep insisting that it's going to get better and that to just give them some time. I told him that I've put up with all their shit and I've had enough. Enough is enough. He was defending them more, taking their side. So, I told him that he can either move out with them or stay and that he has until the end of the week. Did I do the right thing here? Making my dad choose between me and his new family? I literally gave them a chance and I've put up with so much of their shit for the past few months. What she said about my mother was my breaking point. There's no way that she will disrespect her in the house where she grew up in, where I grew up in.   **Update in comments** [QUICK UPDATE] So, just a quick update. I've read the comments and thank you for your support, I really do appreciate it. It does make it seem like I'm a pushover, well maybe I am, I just don't like confrontation, arguing, or anything that ends up fighting with someone. I'm just not that type of person. I will be changing the locks around the house as some of you suggested. Unfortunately, the gate in the property is old and rusted and it's been open for who knows how long, so I can't really do much about it right now. Anyway, I called the same lawyer that handled my mom's will to review if there's any loophole or any chance that my dad can contest it. I will be seeing her in a couple of hours. Regarding my dad, he's a good man and he's worked hard to provide for me and my needs when my mom died. He's never asked me to tap on my money to help with the living expenses etc. He makes a decent amount of money as an engineer, like 6 figures, so I don't think he's after my money, I could be wrong though. I just think that he's blinded that someone still finds him attractive at his age, also didn't help how it was his high school sweetheart. I've also talked to him about his impromptu wedding and how he kept things from me. He just said that he didn't how I was going to react if I knew that he was dating the ex-gf before he met and married my mom. I was pissed off, but I got over it since he seemed happy having her around. I don't know what their whole history is or if there's a bad blood between her and my mom to make her lash out like that and disrespect her. Steph and her evil spawns are staying somewhere in town. No idea where and I don't care or want to find out. They have the money to take care of themselves and if they run out, they always have their luxury bags to sell. Honestly, who needs so much bag that they require a whole closet just to store them? If anyone's wondering where my relatives are.. well, my mom was an only child and grandparents left her everything. When my mom died, I got most of what she inherited, she left some to my dad as well. My grandparents' on my dad's side lives about 6 hours away with my uncles and aunts. It's literally just me and my dad here, and Moxie. Moxie is doing well. She's happier and seem to enjoy the quietness around the house. I will update as soon as I can, but thank you for all the support.   [**[UPDATE] I made my dad choose between me and his new family...**](https://www.reddit.com/r/family/comments/mldrr6/update_i_made_my_dad_choose_between_me_and_his/) - 6 April 2021 Here's the update.. I spoke with my mother's previous lawyer, Amy (fake name) about the issue on Saturday and asked if there's a way to contest the will. She showed me the documents and my and I both signed an agreement (in summary) that we agree on what was left to us and that we will not be contesting it in the future. Mom for the win. She also advised to give them at least 30 days to find a place and move out to avoid any legal troubles etc. So, inheritance issue is solved. Saturday night, I was supposed to have dinner with just my dad. Apparently a private discussion between father and daughter is a whole "family" affair. Steph and twins were there. To make it quick and to end the misery, I stated that I spoke with Amy regarding the house and other legal issues. I also added that they have 30 days to find a place and move out. Steph tried to object, but dad shut her down by saying that we can fix the issue and that we can all go to family therapy and that we just need time to get to know each other. Cue my eyes rolling. I informed him that it's been months since they moved in and not once did they try to be "family" unless they need something. I put my foot down. Enough is enough. So, I asked him if he's going with them or staying so I'll know which items he'll be taking. He asked if I'm kicking him out, which I told him I'm not, that he's free to choose to wherever he goes but I told him that he should not expect me to keep in contact with him if he decides to leave. Steph asked why I'm kicking him out of HIS house. I told her that I inherited MY house from my mother. She said that he told her that I live him, I guess she thought that I live with my dad in his house. Big misunderstanding on their part. Lexie argued that it's going to be hard to move since they're finishing up Spring semester and that finals are in a couple of weeks. I just smiled and said to better hurry and find a place. I left after that. Yesterday, Easter Sunday, I invited my boyfriend and his family and my two bestfriends over to celebrate Easter Sunday. My dad has been calling me and I didn't bother answering the call. He tried to invite me to spend the day with them. As far as I'm concerned, the only family I have right now are my two bestfriends, my boyfriend and his family. It was a good Sunday, we did some egg hunting and a few games and had a big dinner, which I haven't had in a long time. I felt right. Anyway, right now I'm finishing up on documenting everything that's worth over $500 in the house. I had a few people over to help document them. All locks have been changed. I only gave a copy to my bf (don't worry about my dad asking him about the key, he doesn't approve of him since he's "middle class"). I also hired professionals to install a security system around the house and property and I am scheduled to meet with someone regarding the fences and gate. I have not tapped into the fund that my mom left since I started college to help with tuition, dorm, and other expenses, but this is an emergency and it calls for it. All the family pictures, portraits, etc. are currently in a storage. All other valuables that are small are in a safety deposit box. All documents are in a water and fire proof safe that requires a key and pin to open, currently in my room. I'm trying to take all the pre-cautions and advise that you guys wrote on the comment section in my previous post. Thank you for those. So, that's about it for now. Not really sure why dad is choosing to be with them than me, his own flesh and blood. I'll update this if there's any news or something stupid happens, but I've come to accept that for some unknown or unexplainable reason, they're more important to him than me. It's hard, since he's the only family I have left here, and I'm really not that close with his side of the family. So, once they move out, I am cutting contact with them. He's a grown man and he can decide whatever the fuck he wants to do with his life. Thanks for all the support and well wishes.   [**[UPDATE] I made my dad choose between me and his new family...**](https://www.reddit.com/r/family/comments/qvli6h/update_i_made_my_dad_choose_between_me_and_his/) - 16 November 2021 My e-mail has been blowing up regarding this and a lot of people were asking how I'm doing, what happened to my dad etc. So, here's the final update... One of my high school friend is a real estate agent and I had her help find them a house nearby, about 15 minutes away after thinking through my decisions. I helped with the downpayment just to get them started, just so that they don't feel like I didn't help them etc. etc. Regarding my dad, we had long discussion about the issue. He moved in with them but we decided that we would have dinner every Sunday night, just us two, and to celebrate any special occasions together. I did remind him that I can't have him or any of his new "family" in the house after his wife disrespected my mom. I don't know much about their history and I really don't want to find out, but as far as I know and as far as I can remember, my mother was nothing but kind to everyone. She raised me to be that way but I guess she'll be disappointed in me after kicking them out, oh well. He changed his will and added them in, but I advised him not to tell them -- been watching too much crime stories for the months and I'm just looking out for him. He did say he was proud of my decisions and that I've grown up well and strong and that my mom would be proud of me and what I have accomplished in life so far. After that whole ordeal and after making sure that the house is secure etc. I went on a vacation with my bf -- well now fiance -- to unwind and relax. The whole issue took a toll on my mental health and it was a struggle getting back to I guess... being normal? Being my usual self. Also, no wedding bells anytime soon, he's focused on his intern year up in NY pursuing his career in medicine -- wants to be a pediatrician. For all those wondering, he did sign a pre-nup, he was more than willing to sign it. Also, my mom's side of the family had a big military/finance background, lots if investments and such. I could've followed their footsteps and joined the military, but my hand-eye coordination is abysmal, so that's why I work in finance. I try to not depend on my family's money and learn on how to make my own money through investments, stocks etc. I did take out a little bit to do some remodeling in and around the house. Gotta keep it well maintained if I want to pass it down... I think that's about it. My dad and I aren't exactly back to our old relationship, I don't think we'll ever get back to it, but we're... hmm... civil about the situation. I've seen Steph and her daughters around town a few times, but I don't acknowledge them, why would I when they took my dad from me. So.. how do I close my previous thread? I'm not much of a redditor. Thank you all for your support and well wishes. It's been hard these past few months, but I am managing. Happy Holidays and stay safe and healthy!   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

I made my dad choose between me and his new family...

REPOST

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zxcxt2/i_made_my_dad_choose_between_me_and_his_new_family/

zxcypc

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/throwaway-f26 in r/askuk** ---   [**My married next door neighbour is cheating on her husband with at least 2 different guys during the day while he's at work. WWYD?**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/comments/x43bgc/my_married_next_door_neighbour_is_cheating_on_her/) - 2 September 2022 TL;DR - Can overhear nextdoor neighbour having sex with while her husband is at work and its starting to drive me mad! Would you do anything if you were in my situation or do your best to ignore it? Me and my bf moved into our place almost 3 years ago, and some time last year a new couple in their mid-30s moved in directly next door (Terraced, 2-level houses, so we share a wall). We both have 2 upstair bedrooms, and it quickly became apparent that they chose the room that shares a wall with our bedroom as we would often hear them having sex at night - no pornstar level moaning or anything like that, but you can easily make out the movement of the bed and slapping of flesh on flesh, so enough to be a distraction! We both found it funny at first, but often they'd be at it in the very early hours of the morning (especially at weekends) and often multiple times back to back with breaks between. It really started to interrupt our sleeping so we decided just to move rooms and now our old bedroom is my WFH office. While they were both working from home and I was in my new office room I'd still hear them at it during the day every now and then but I'd just put on my headphones and try and ignore it - no big deal and good on them for having such an active sex life! Once the husband went back to office working I was no longer having to reach for my headphones nearly as often so thought that would be the end of it. A few weeks after him going back to work, however, the mid-day sex noises started up again - even more enthusiastic and frequent than before, which was odd as her husbands car was not parked outside. I also noticed a pattern of hearing their doorbell go shortly before the sex started. After going full nosy-neighbour mode and peaking through our blinds almost every day, I noticed that a guy was parking his van just up the road, popping in next door for an hour of fun, then heading back out. Not only that, but I've even spotted a different guy turning up every now and then. I've been cheated on before, albeit in a much more casual relationship when I was younger, and think it's one of the most disrespectful and hurtful thing someone can do to another person. It makes me so sad for her husband, and hearing her go at it with these guys on an almost daily basis is getting me increasingly annoyed and angry. My boyfriend says I just need to ignore it, and it's not worth getting caught up in these things. I kind of agree, but almost feel like making some kind of anonymous tip off to let her husband know somehow. What do you guys think? P.S She was already half way through her 2nd round with one of the guys this afternoon when I started typing this!   **Update in comments** Thanks for the wide range of replies everyone! For those saying "Mind my own business" - I get that to an extent, but it kind of becomes my business when it's distracting me from work on a daily basis. There's been a few times I've had calls while its been going on and I just have to pray that the noise cancelling from my mic is doing it's job and be extra quick on the mute button when I'm not talking! A lot are saying to separate the two issues, which seems like good advice! After all, it's the noise that's impacting me personally. Even if it was her and her husband, that would still be a major annoyance for me. Infact even though we've moved rooms, we can still hear them most nights and often early morning too - I honestly don't know how she can manage so much sex! Admittedly, the cheating aspect (assuming it's not some kind of open relationship thing they have going on, which seems unlikely, but yes I suppose it is possible!) is adding to my emotional response for sure, but ultimately that's between them, not me. As much as I empathise with the husband (again, assuming he's unware), I do agree with a lot of the comments here that it's not my place to "out" her, and not worth being in any way involved with the potential fallout. My boyfriend also shares this view. Reporting to council / police just doesn't seem like an option (I mean it is, but it would be obvious it was us who complained and neither of us want to go down that path). I think I will have to try to pluck up the courage and maybe try to bring it up casually the next time I see her on her own and hope for the best. On the bright side, their neghbour on the other side is an older guy who is practically deaf, so if they at least swapped rooms like we did, there's less chance of the other neighbour hearing them at it!   **Update:** Well turns out there was a twist after all. After all my moaning, my boyfriend got talking to the guy out the back over the weekend and as sensitively and politely as possible brought up the subject of the noise and well... long story short... they are "adult content creators"!! Obviously he never mentioned anything about the guys showing up, but we think it's probably safe to assume he's well aware! The husband was also very apologetic and admitted they were both worried about noise but figured it must not be that bad as we've never mentioned anything all this time and that they tend not to hear much from us. It turns out the wife is now doing this as her main job and quit her previous job months ago and they already planned on turning their spare room into her studio, which if happens should mean much less noise for us! Kudos to all of you that called me out for being so presumptious that she was cheating - lesson learned not to jump to conclusions!   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

My married next door neighbour is cheating on her husband with at least 2 different guys during the day while he's at work. WWYD?

CONCLUDED

toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zxcypc/my_married_next_door_neighbour_is_cheating_on_her/

zxdw1f

[removed]

OOP's mother is an asshole and they have been collecting dirt on her for years

CONCLUDED

HQna

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zxdw1f/oops_mother_is_an_asshole_and_they_have_been/

zxez7h

**I am not OOP. OOP is** [u/WesternDependent913](https://www.reddit.com/user/WesternDependent913/). They posted in r/AmItheAsshole. Short and sweet. Your daily fun fact for people who don't want spoilers on mobile: u/Fox_Flame requested deep sea facts! The *average* depth of the ocean in 14,000 feet (4267.2 m). In somewhat keeping with the animal theme, the deepest recorded whale dive was 2,992 meters (9,816 feet.) ([Source](https://passportocean.com/2019/05/29/deep-sea-facts/)) **Mood Spoiler:** >!cute!< **Original** [Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zra169/aitah_because_when_my_brother_and_his_husband/)**: December 20, 2022** Throwaway because it’s embarrassing. My brother and his husband recently adopted their son. It was kind of sudden, baby dropped at the fire station sort of situation. I had known they were in the process of adopting, but as far as I knew they were kind of early on. I don’t know anything about the process so I guess I thought a pregnant woman looked through stacks of applicants, picked some family, met with them, and they went to the hospital to get the baby when it was born. Basically I thought there would be a lot of lead up to them becoming dads and I would have a heads up. So my bro had called me last week and said, “congrats you’re an uncle! You have a little nephew.” And reflexively I just said, “oh nice, did you get a dog or a cat?” My bro was silent for a bit and I was thinking that’s not a hard question? And he finally says, “a human baby, we adopted a baby boy…” And I was like, “shit sorry, that was fast.” My mom was absolutely HORRIFIED at this story and I’ve been deemed the biggest family asshole this year over it. My brother doesn’t seem mad, his husband seems to be very annoyed with me. No one understands why I would ask that, so I mean, idk, am I an AH here? I'm not neurotypical, so it's hard for me to know if maybe they're teasing me and not actually that mad. However, if this situation needs a real sit down kind of apology for me being a major AH then I want to do that. ***Relevant Comment:*** "I do have autism" **Update (Same Post): December 21, 2022** Update. Whoa this blew up overnight. I talked to my brother and BIL this morning and I told them like what I said here and I apologized. They said they are not mad at all and they thought it was funny. They said if they seemed upset it could be because a lot changed suddenly for them. So I think I could have misunderstood them being busy and tired for being annoyed. I asked what about the pause on the phone, because to me if someone takes longer than about 1 to 2 seconds to begin speaking after I speak, and especially if I count over 5 seconds, then probably that is confusion or surprise I believe. My brother said he wasn’t sure if I was attempting a joke and he should laugh or if I was confused, that's what he was thinking in the pause. The family likes to tease me because when I learned about sarcasm in 1st grade I then tried it out and told my dad I had a terrible day at school when he asked (trying to be sarcastic) but my inflection was wrong so he thought I was serious… my brother was trying to figure out if that kind of thing was happening again. But, as it turns out, actually no one in the family is mad at me. They apparently are all poking fun and I couldn’t tell. My mom’s reaction was apparently not horror in an angry way but in a funny disbelief kind of way. I feel a lot better about it now. ***Fun Comment:*** Thank you, I think I will get him a stuffed dog to continue the joke now. And yeah, I have a lot of stories like that where I just didn't understand something. After I said I had a terrible day my dad was asking me what was wrong, he asked did someone say something mean? And I was very upset he didn’t understand so I crossed my arms to convey this and said, “Oh, dad. I am going to teach you about sarcasm. It’s when you use words that mean the opposite of something.” Everyone in the car burst out laughing. Now it’s a running joke, when my dad asks a question, someone will respond, “oh dad, I am going to teach you.” Or, once my parents sat us down to say a family member had a heart attack. I was little, maybe kindergarten age. I said, "oh, that's no big deal, dad has one everyday." Because he would tell us, '*don't do that, you just gave me a heart attack!'* I thought he was serious and informing us our actions caused him to have heart attack, but he was fine therefore heart attacks were no big deal.

AITAH because when my brother and his husband adopted a baby I asked if they got a dog or a cat?

CONCLUDED

LucyAriaRose

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zxez7h/aitah_because_when_my_brother_and_his_husband/

zxf4zz

**I am not OOP. OOP is** [u/ManicPixieDreamEnby](https://www.reddit.com/user/ManicPixieDreamEnby/). They posted in [r/EntitledPeople](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/). Thank you to [u/runescapeowl](https://www.reddit.com/u/runescapeowl/) for suggesting! Your daily fun fact for people on mobile avoiding spoilers: [u/infelixSomnia](https://www.reddit.com/u/infelixSomnia/) and [u/MrFischeoder](https://www.reddit.com/u/MrFischeoder/) wanted ferrets. The word 'ferret' comes from the Latin word furittus, which means little thief. (Aw) Ferrets have a heart rate of 200-250 bpm. ([Source](https://www.fda.gov/animal-veterinary/animal-health-literacy/fun-ferret-facts#:~:text=A%20ferret's%20normal%20heart%20rate,spayed%20female%20is%20a%20sprite)). **Trigger Warnings:** >!statutory rape, child sex offenses!< **Mood Spoiler:** >!Well holy shit that took a turn; no word on the dog!< **Original** [Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/yntsl0/roommate_demands_to_illegally_keep_a_dog/)**: November 6, 2022** I (31X) live in a mobile home complex, sharing a 3 bedroom trailer with my wife (31F) and 2 roommates (30M and 29F). Recently my female roommate gave us 30 days notice that she would be moving out because she had lost her job (the third job she's lost since she moved in with us 6 months ago), and she found a boyfriend who would let her live with him rent free. She did pay her last month's share of rent, which we paid the landlord last week.  A few nights ago, the soon to be ex roommate woke me up in the middle of the night to ask me if she could bring a friend's dog over for just a couple nights because he was being re-homed, and the person rehoming him needed to get rid of the dog immediately while the person taking the dog needed a couple days to get their house ready. I told her I was personally ok with it as long as it was only a couple days, and I assumed she would make sure it was ok with my wife and our other roommate too. I only found out after she brought the dog over that she had asked my wife, who told her she wasn't ok with it, and she didn't even ask our other roommate at all.  Yesterday the roommate informed us that she had fallen in love with the dog and would be keeping it herself. She didn't even ask us if we were ok with that. The problem with that is first of all, our complex requires a pet deposit of $100 per pet, which she refuses to pay because she's only staying here another month and can't afford it, and if she gets caught taking the dog out then we could get evicted. The other problem is her bedroom is right next to our other roommate's bedroom, and all the noise the dog is making plus all the noise she's making talking to the dog and taking him out to go to the bathroom every hour is keeping our roommate awake when he's trying to sleep. My wife and I can also hear her taking the dog out when we're sleeping because the front door is right next to our bedroom and she loudly talks to the dog in the front yard.  My wife, our male roommate, and I had a meeting with each other about this situation, which is when I found out that my wife told the roommate she wasn't ok with the dog at all and our other roommate hadn't even been asked if he was ok with it. We all agreed that we weren't ok with her waking us up all the time and potentially getting us evicted if she gets caught, which would be pretty easy when she's taking this dog outside every hour and loudly talking to him. So I took the initiative to calmly and politely tell her that we weren't ok with her keeping the dog here and she would need to find somewhere else to keep him until she moves into her new place.  She went berserk. She started yelling at me demanding that I give her back her rent money, but I told her rent was already paid to the landlord. She then demanded that either we let her keep the dog or we pay her back what she paid for rent. She said we can "just deal with the dog because it's only for a month". I told her we tried being nice about this but she wasn't being fair to us. She needs to consider everyone in the house, not just herself. She's still refusing to get rid of the dog and it's gonna take her a while to move all her stuff into her boyfriend's house. I'm not even sure if there's a way we can legally enforce her removing the dog without risking getting evicted for having an illegal animal. Edit: For people suggesting we just tell the landlord, there really isn't anything the landlord can do other than give her a 30 day eviction notice. Other people in this complex have gotten kicked out for having illegal animals but they were still given 30 days to move out because that's the law. So either way it looks like she's forcing us to put up with the dog for the next month. We're also worried because she said she would "take matters into her own hands" if we didn't comply with her demands, which might mean she could lie to the landlord and say we consented to the dog being there or something. It's hard to know what she means by that but she has a history of ruining people's lives when she doesn't get her way.   Another edit: For people asking why she can't just keep the dog at the boyfriend's place now and whether the boyfriend is even proven to exist, we have met the boyfriend so we know he exists, but we have no idea why the dog can't just stay there now. She already brings the dog with her every time she goes to his house so we don't understand why it would be a problem **Update** [Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/z65fbq/update_on_my_entitled_exroommate/)**: November 27, 2022** I'm not sure how to link the original post but I'm sure you can find it on my profile. Long story short, my now-ex-roommate paid her last month's share of rent at the start of November and gave us 30 days notice that she was moving out, but then she suddenly got a dog that she insisted on keeping without paying the pet deposit. When my wife and other roommate and I all told her we weren't ok with her keeping the dog, she demanded we either let her keep the dog or pay her back her rent money (which we'd already paid to the landlord) or else she'd "take matters into her own hands", whatever that means.  Many people suggested we tell the landlord she was trying to keep a dog illegally which the rest of us did not consent to. At the time of the post it was the weekend so we couldn't talk to the landlord until at least Monday, but that turned out to not be necessary anyway. The day I posted the original post, my wife and I told some of our friends what was happening. One of my wife's friends who knew our then-roommate told us something shocking: the roommate was a registered sex offender who legally isn't allowed to be alone with children. We knew she had a daughter she didn't have custody of and was only allowed supervised visitation with, but we didn't know why.  The friend then showed my wife screenshots they had of the roommate texting the friend that she was babysitting a friend's daughter and was alone with the child. She could go back to prison if the police knew she did this. We then confronted our roommate and threatened to send those screenshots to the police. She immediately moved out the very next day and we haven't heard from her since. We have encouraged that friend to show those screenshots to the police anyway, but for now they're the only one with the screenshots so it's up to them to decide what to do with them. Also if you're wondering, we have already found a new roommate.  Edit: For context, supposedly her crime was she had sex with a 15 year old when she was 18. At least that's what she says. That's why she's legally not allowed to be alone with minors, but that's also why some people think she's not actually a danger to children. ***Relevant Comments:*** *Someone says they should tell people and the police:* "We have been at least warning everyone we know about her." *Someone asks about a background check:* "We didn't do a background check as it's not required for our complex, and she's apparently a level 1 so she's not listed on the internet." *People ask about the screenshots and OOP clarifies they don't have them:* \*"\*I literally don't though. The friend has them." "I can ask, I'm just saying if he chooses not to give them to me there's nothing I can do about that." *People ask if the babysitting family knows:* "I have no idea. I don't personally know this person." "I don't know the person she babysat for or I'd make sure they know." **I struggled on whether to mark this as concluded or ongoing. The primary story is concluded, but I do wonder if we'll get updates on the ex-roomate. Thus I've marked it as ongoing.**

Roommate demands to illegally keep a dog

ONGOING

LucyAriaRose

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zxf4zz/roommate_demands_to_illegally_keep_a_dog/

zxf5bk

** I am not OP. Original posts by u/Lillille on r/antiwork ** [Not senior enough to be promoted, but senior enough to train the new senior person](https://www.reddit.com/r/antiwork/comments/y4geuf/not_senior_enough_to_be_promoted_but_senior/) Oct 15 22 I’ve been working for this company for 2 years, doing lot of overtime, always trying to help everyone, great performance review each year… For nothing. They hired a senior analyst via a recruitment agency. This person will be paid more than me and me, a simple analyst, will have to train this person who is supposed to know better. They even had the audacity to ask me to mentor him. I feel really sad and angry about this whole situation… I just wanted to vent, thanks for reading me. [Comment:](https://www.reddit.com/r/antiwork/comments/y4geuf/not_senior_enough_to_be_promoted_but_senior/ise08nl) 'I couldn't *possibly* have any insights useful to a man that knowledgeable and exalted!" [Comment:](https://www.reddit.com/r/antiwork/comments/y4geuf/not_senior_enough_to_be_promoted_but_senior/iseffso) act your wage my dude. They want you to train folks without pay increases, give them shit training. [Update - Not senior enough to be promoted but senior enough to train the new senior person](https://www.reddit.com/r/antiwork/comments/zbbslv/update_not_senior_enough_to_be_promoted_but/) Dec 3 22 English is not my first language. I followed your advice and I resigned the following week! When I gave my 2 weeks notice, my boss was really surprised. She didn’t expect I would take such a radical decision over a job title. She told me that everyone in the company knows that I’m doing a great job and this was the most important. That I shouldn’t care about it. When she saw I was serious about my resignation, she offered to change my job title but not my salary because I got a merit increase this year. I said no, I don’t want this type of “promotion”. I needed recognition for all the hard work done these past 2 years and hiring someone externally for a senior position to do the same job was a real slap in my face. So I worked my 2 weeks notice and I gave a shitty training to the new senior person. In the meantime, I found another job in a big company, paying better with less work and less stress. It’s been a month now but I have no regrets. [Comment:](https://www.reddit.com/r/antiwork/comments/zbbslv/update_not_senior_enough_to_be_promoted_but/iyqcrg3) When will companies learn that when someone gives two weeks notice they aren't going to bother training someone else. It's almost like they believe they can squeeze a little more good work out of you. That person's lucky they got any training. I would have spent it saying "I don't know, maybe ask the manager how to do it, I don't have the qualifications for your job." [Comment:](https://www.reddit.com/r/antiwork/comments/zbbslv/update_not_senior_enough_to_be_promoted_but/iyrtb6b) Pointed this situation out to a work colleague. He had been a designated "trainer" for a few years training external candidates for roles at his level. Then they had him start training internal and external candidates for the level above his. He did this a few times and was bitching about not being promoted himself. I told him that he is too valuable to the company where he is to ever be promoted. Told him to demand a promotion the next time he was asked to train someone to be his potential boss or a fat pay raise or he'll quit and go somewhere he is properly appreciated. Fast forward six months and he's now promoted with a nice raise and company car. I was the second person he called to tell about it (first was his wife). ** Reminder: I am not the Original Poster. **

Not senior enough to be promoted, but senior enough to train the new senior person

CONCLUDED

swtogirl

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zxf5bk/not_senior_enough_to_be_promoted_but_senior/

zxf6ws

**I am not OOP. OOP is** [u/Cool-Sector8699](https://www.reddit.com/user/Cool-Sector8699/). She posted in r/AmItheAsshole. Your daily fun fact for those of you who want to avoid spoilers on mobile: u/ijustneedtolurk requested the dik-dik. Dik-diks secrete a tar-like liquid from their eyes to mark their territory, and their name comes from the sound females make when they feel threatened. ([Source 1](https://a-z-animals.com/animals/dik-dik/), [Source 2)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dik-dik#:~:text=9%20References-,Name,snouts%20when%20they%20feel%20threatened). **Trigger Warning:** >!child neglect!< **Mood Spoiler:** >!Good for OOP and pup!!< **Original** [Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zokhu3/aita_for_prioritizing_my_dog_over_my_mom_stepchild/)**:** I (f32) have a 12 years old American Bully named Rory. Because of her age she had a lot of health issues. Right now she needs to have surgery. It's going to be around 6k plus about 3-4k in meds followed by 6 months in therapy that's going to be 10-12k. That brings the total to 22k the most. I can easily afford it because i have a good job (in IT), I don't have any debt to pay, I'm child free and I budget myself very well. My mom was what you can call a weekend parent. She never really mothered me. She will often let me fend for myself. Because of that my childhood was practically nonexistent. My dad died when I was 2 and my grandparents lived far away so I was by myself 99% of the time. I went Low contact with her when i started college. Last year she got married to Alex who has a 5 year old son (David) from a previous relationship. I wasn't aware of any of this. I didn't know she was dating and i didn't know she got married. Mom called me last night because David has some health issues and needs medical care that's too expensive for their budget. That's when I found out about Alex. Apparently my mom did tell me anything because if i knew about Alex she would have been forced to invite me to the wedding which she didn't want to do because Alex doesn't know i exist. Basically she wants me to send her 15k to pay for David's treatment or whatever he needs. I said no. I'm doing well financially but I don't have that kind of money and I'm not paying for a random kid. I told mom as nice as I could that I can't help her because 1. I don't want to and 2. I don't have the money. She ended the call. She found out about my Rory's surgery from my cousin and this morning I woke up to a bunch of voicemails and text calling me all possible names because I chose my dog over her step kid. I texted back this: "yes. That dog means the world to me and I will do anything I can for her. David is nothing to me. You got married without telling me because you don't want your hubby to know I exist. Perfect. If I don't exist in your little perfect life then why are you asking me for money? Your stepchild isn't my responsibility. I wouldn't give you 15k even if I had it because you're not important enough to me to spare that kind of money. You haven't called me in what? 3 years? 4? And now you want money from me? Nah." Safe to say my family is now calling me a monster because I would rather help a dog than a child. My decision is final but I'm curious if I'm TA. **Update (Same Post): December 20, 2022** 1. Regarding Rory's: surgery - it's nothing life threatening. She has nerve damage so her back legs are almost completely numb. The surgery is going to help her walk properly. She isn't going to be in pain because the nerves are almost completely gone. I wouldn't go thru with it if i new she would be in pain after. 2. I talked with my cousin and she gave me Alex's full name so i found him on Fb. I messaged him and i told him everything. I sent him more than enough proof that I am who I said I was. I told him to tell my mom that she and rest of the family can go f themselves. 3. I blocked all my family and I'm not planning on ever having contact with them again. 4. Rory has her last check up today and she's scheduled for surgery in 2 days so we are going to do all of her favorite activities before she has the surgery. I've taken tine off work and I'm going to work from home until she recovers completely. 5. Thank you for all the support and good wishes for her. Update: dog tax [Rory](https://www.reddit.com/user/Cool-Sector8699/comments/zp3kod/rory/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) **Update: December 20, 2022** She had the surgery today, everything went smoothly. She was kept for observation for a few hours and our vet is expecting her to make a full and fast recovery based on how things went during and after the surgery! We are home and she is getting back up after the anesthesia. It's been a couple of hours since we got home and she's already energetic. She's thriving on the attention. I think she knows she going to get spoiled rotten and she's very happy. **Update (Same Post): December 27, 2022** *(I got permission from mods to post this since it's one line)* Update! She's recovering very fast and we are going to start therapy in 2 days.

AITA for prioritizing my dog over my mom' stepchild?

ONGOING

LucyAriaRose

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zxf6ws/aita_for_prioritizing_my_dog_over_my_mom_stepchild/

zxfjax

**I am NOT OP. Original post by** u/brochib **in** r/AmItheAsshole   [**AITA for not teaching a skill to my oldest son that I taught his siblings**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d1r1vr/aita_for_not_teaching_a_skill_to_my_oldest_son) \- 9th September 2019 This has quite literally fractured my family. I have an older son from my first marriage who's now 24. I have two younger kids from my current marriage who are 21 year old twins. My divorce occurred right after my son was born. Over the years, my visitation has been primarily summers and holidays since my ex-wife moved to a different state. I have a particular skillset I'm was very good at. And all three of my kids have expressed interest in it. Unfortunately, I have only been able to meaningfully teach it to my younger kids. This was because to make my visitation with my older son more memorable, I would do camping/vacations etc. I didn't have time to teach him properly. Also, anything I did try to teach him was forgotten and not practiced because he lived in an apartment with his mother. The major issue now is that my younger kids have started a company after highschool using this skill. I provided the initial funds and as such have a 33% stake in it. This company has really soared this past year and it's making a lot of money. My older son graduated from college and is doing a job he hates and is not exactly making a lot of money. Especially compared to his siblings. Part of this is my fault because he did ask to take a few years off after highschool and maybe have me teach him what I knew but my wife was battling cancer at the time and I told him I couldn't. And now, I'm not well enough to teach anymore. He is now telling me to include him in this company as a equal partner. That he'll do the finances. This was not received well by his siblings who say they do basically 95% of the work. And that he didn't struggle in the earlier years to get it running. I'm really at a loss here. I thought of just giving my share of the company to my oldest son but it does seem unfair to his siblings who started this company in the first place. My oldest has become very bitter about this and has involved my parents. They are taking his side and now my younger kids are resentful that their grandparents have been turned against them. Our Sunday family lunches are no longer happening and I'm having to see my oldest for dinner on other days. And every time I see him I'm getting accused of not treating him fairly. It kills me because I made so many compromises to have him in my life in a meaningful way. He accused me on Saturday of pushing him out my new family and loving his siblings more. I haven't been able to sleep since. Should I have done all this differently?   **EDIT / UPDATE** The moderators have been kind enough to let me update my post. I know many, many people have asked about the skillset I mentioned. I just can't be specific because it'll make my younger kids' company identifiable with a quick search. I will say it's nothing mysterious and is a combination of woodworking, metalworking and some masonry sometimes. It's just a niche product and not many people do it. The tools and techniques are unorthodox. I spent a lot of time reflecting yesterday after reading everyone's comments. I have talked to my younger kids and I explained to them that even if they aren't happy with how their brother approached it, it's clear he feels left out from our family and it's all our responsibilities to help fix this. They agreed to extend the offer of apprenticeship again to their brother where he works and learns as a salaried employee. But they've made it clear that no ownership can be transferred after he's put in at least three years of work like they have. I actually think this is generous because they are paying a salary that they don't need to. However, I'm not sure if my oldest will go for this. He is feeling some sort of way about working for his brothers, not with them. I reached out to a teacher in Alaska who I know casually. He might do me a favor and take on an apprentice. I need to scrounge up some money and see if I can send my son there. But again, it's Alaska and I'm not sure if my son will be receptive. I don't know what else I can offer at this point. My wife is disgusted that we've become that family that is fighting about money. She wants to force the twins to give a stake in the company to their brother but I really think it's a bad idea. They need to fix their conflict first or it'll just be a disaster. I don't believe we should be telling our younger kids on how to run their company. I'll be meeting my son this Friday for dinner. I hope he'll be ok with at least one of the options. I also need to talk to my parents to stop creating more issues. They've always enjoyed chaos and like pitting people against each other. It's not helping. Thanks everyone. ​ [**UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/dlken3/update_to_aita_for_not_teaching_a_skill_to_my/) \- 22th October 2019 I offered the two best options to my oldest which a few days after I posted during dinner. The first option was work as a salaried employee for his brothers' company for a few years while he learns the trade and then buy in for a partnership in the company. I would've sold him my share for a very fair price. This was the only way his brothers were willing to join the company. He rejected it immediately. The second option was an apprenticeship I setup with someone I knew and respected. Unfortunately, this was based in Alaska and he rejected that as well, which I expected. He then said a lot of hurtful things about me and his mother. I gave in and said I would teach him. Some people did suggest this on the first post. He took all my tools and material the next few days and moved it to his garage. I've been going over to his garage workshop everyday for a few hours to try and teach him. It's not going that great I have to admit. I'm physically not in the best shape and he's getting frustrated by it. I'm just going to keep going with this and hopefully it'll get easier as he learns more. I appreciate everyone's input on the first post.   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

OOP - AITA for not teaching a skill to my oldest son that I taught his siblings

CONCLUDED

raredontstare

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zxfjax/oop_aita_for_not_teaching_a_skill_to_my_oldest/

zxh485

[removed]

I am currently in the ER and I was told I wasn’t expected to make it through the night

ONGOING

Embarrassed-Mouse-49

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zxh485/i_am_currently_in_the_er_and_i_was_told_i_wasnt/

zxm3ng

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/flatsheepherder6311 in r/amitheasshole** ---   [**AITA for saying I’ll not attend the family Christmas since I can’t afford it**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zo7kns/aita_for_saying_ill_not_attend_the_family/) - 17 December 2022 TA account My family has always spent the Christmas together at our parents. Last year was the first year we spent it at my brother (20s) and his wife (20s). Due to it being their first time, they were understandably very stressed and had troubles getting things together especially taking into account my dietary restrictions. Last year I (F20s) didn’t live in the same city as them so I couldn’t really help with the preparations but this year I do. Since I’m a student the money is tight but my brother and sil earn extremely well even compared to our parents. When we spent the Christmas at our parents we didn’t have to contribute financially towards the feast but this year the cost are shared by our parents and them. As I can’t afford it my compensation is the organization and cooking the feast as none of them enjoy such things. This is not a small task since I’ll have to start the preparations days before Christmas and do everything on my own. However, since I’m not the one paying for the meal I have shared my plans weeks ago with all of them and they have agreed on the menu. Couple days ago I sat down and calculated how much all of this would cost and sent the info to my family. This did not go down well with my brother. He is extremely frugal which is fine and all but the cost of the feast is the same as it has been every year. Mind you, it is nothing crazy honestly but costs more than a regular everyday meal. I said fine we can cut something back if he wants and asked what he wanted to give up. He chose the one thing I wanted to make for myself as a treat since almost everything else is something I can’t eat but the rest of them can eat all of it. I said okay anything else but he didn’t want to give up anything else. I asked him if he was serious that ”my dish” would be the only one we would get rid off and not one of their multiple sides. I don’t want to eat only potatoes and salad. His response was that it’s all so expensive and since it’s something that most of us wouldn’t eat it didn’t make sense to make it. My brother pulled the same move last year and my mother put her foot down and forced my brother to include me. Since then he has constantly told us ”how we are so emotional and stir up unnecessary drama” So to his opinion I said that it’s fine. I’ll just not attend and spent the Christmas by myself since I can’t afford to pay for the dish since I already provide my main My brother got mad and said that it’s not what he meant. I replied that this would be the most elegant solution to the problem since the feast would be cheaper and I wouldn’t have to work so hard for a meal I can’t eat. And this would have the added bonus of not causing too much drama since I’d do so voluntarily (I know I’m probably an ah just for this) He got super mad at me while my mother got mad at him and decided to spend the Christmas at my place. Now everyone is mad at everyone but honestly I’m mainly just sad and feel like I ruined everyone’s Christmas. AITA? Verdict: NTA //EDIT to add:// I have seen a lot of comments saying that they would like to help me to contribute financially towards the meal. While I find these offers extremely kind, I simply feel like this wouldn’t be appropriate since I will be fine regardless of the outcome of my Christmas. Instead I’d like ask you to consider donating (only if you truly can) e.g. to your local homeless shelters, food banks etc. so that those who have nothing or very little could have something for the holidays. Thanks you and happy holidays! :)   [**UPDATE: AITA for saying I’ll not attend the family Christmas since I can’t afford it**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zr12jx/update_aita_for_saying_ill_not_attend_the_family/) - 20 December 2022 First of all thank you for all the comments on my original post. Even for the ones which deemed me the ah. I tried to respond to all of them but after the 100th comment it became hard to keep up but I did read all of them :) For those who are interested I have something to update on my family Christmas and my brother. He called yesterday and wanted to come over to talk. When he got here he started by apologizing on his part of the argument admitting that he acted poorly. He told me he hadn’t really paid much attention on the menu since I was in charge of it. And thus when he suggested we cut out my side he didn’t realize I’d practically nothing else to eat and in the heat of the moment he couldn’t take that into account. He then went on to tell me something I didn’t quite expect him to since he isn’t one to really talk about these kinds of things. I won’t go into too much detail but when I was a baby and he was young our family went through some financial hardships. I’m too young to remember it but it left a mark on him. He said that this is what behind his reaction and he was sorry for letting his anxieties get a hold of him. He did reassure me that his intention wasn’t to exclude me. He offered to pay for my side and asked me if there is anything else I wanted to have but I told him I was fine with this side. As there was some concern regarding the division of labour and me paying for my own main when theirs was included in the family budget I did raise the issue and said I’d however appreciate if they pitched a bit more in the terms of labour. He agreed and said we really should include my main in the budget as well. So I told him I would send him recipes and instructions and would be available for advice if they needed it. I’m still doing most of the labour but I consider this fair and not aa a harship. They’ll do the dishes after though as I hate those I also asked what made him think about his actions and he told me it was really hard not to come to the realization that he acted poorly when everyone he cares about is mad at him - including his wife. And on top of that he didn’t feel good about the though of leaving things like that and of not having me over for Christmas. So yeah, I don’t think I cut him too much slack in the end even if some thought so. He can be a little misguided sometimes but he is not a bad person. It just sometimes takes a little bit of time for him to come around. There is definitely work to be done regarding him respecting other people’s opinions but I have hope for him still I did apologize for my actions too so don’t worry about that. I wasn’t completely blameless in how things progressed after all So I guess this means that we will have our family Christmas despite this hiccup. We might try to figure out a solution that’s fair for all for next Christmas. Be it a potluck or something else. Anyway I do hope that everyone has a wonderful holiday! And thank you again for all the comments! :)   **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

AITA for saying I won’t attend the family Christmas since I can’t afford it?

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toohottooheavy

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zxm3ng/aita_for_saying_i_wont_attend_the_family/

zxn969

*I am not the original poster, the original was posted by* *WeFuckBackHard* *on tifu.* *Because I want the thumbnail to the post to be the glorious picture from the CBAT parrot version,* [*I'll post the link to that here at the top!*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ko4wYMsVfu0) *Thank you,* [*u/Phanabani*](https://www.reddit.com/user/Phanabani/) *, for this amazing upgrade to the original!* *This post references the CBAT-story we all know from* [*this famous BoRU post*](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/x5opa1/tifu_my_20f_girlfriend_of_two_years_told_me_the/)*.* # [TIFU by accidentally teaching my roommate's parrot to sing CBAT. My roommate doesn't know yet.](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/xr9hey/tifu_by_accidentally_teaching_my_roommates_parrot/) (Sep. 29, 2022) **Bird audio hyperlinked at the very end** I am so dead. My roommate is out of town camping until the end of the weekend and he's going to kill me when he finds out. Ok, so we all know the story with [CBAT](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/x35iu6/tifu_my_20f_girlfriend_of_two_years_told_me_the/), no need to go into that. My roommate is out of town for a week, and I have the whole apartment to myself. Four days ago, I (29m) asked my gf (29f) if she would like to enjoy some delicious fun time while blasting CBAT. Her and I are both super weird, and are open to doing this kind of dumb stuff. To no surprise, she laughed and said yes. I just thought it would be funny to experience. To my surprise, it really wasn't as weird as I thought it would be. It might be that the love I have for her is so powerful, that it left only about 5% of my brain power focusing on the dolphin sounds in the background. The next day we decided to go at it again, only this time CBAT was a surprise for her. After a few minutes of kissing, I turned on the music and we both started laughing hysterically before getting it on. I even lasted longer than the day before, which I now regret. Here's the problem which I stupidly did not even take a second to consider. While my roommate is out of town, I'm taking care of his parrot who dwells in our living room, which shares a very thin door with my bedroom. This is no ordinary parrot. This is a chattering lory (same bird as that red one on youtube who goes "wuewuewue"). This bird does not shut up. He makes so much noise that I've naturally learned to ignore him after a year of living with it. Anyway, somehow it never even crossed my mind that these parrots learn words and sounds and mimic them surprisingly accurately. Before leaving for work yesterday morning, I made some coffee and sat down in the living room for a bit just relaxing and closing my eyes. All of a sudden, I hear the first few notes of CBAT in perfect pitch and rhythm. I opened my eyes and this little dude is staring me dead in the face. 5-10 seconds pass, and I hear it again. I just grabbed my things and left for work immediately. I had to escape, figuring I'd just find a way to fix this or explain this later. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that I'm just dead. My roommate isn't weird like me and he hates when I say silly things to the bird. When he comes back this weekend, I'm worried he's gonna give a notice and leave. Any advice on how to go about this would be greatly appreciated. I'm sweating as I'm writing this. And no, for privacy reasons, I will not be posting a video of the bird. TL;DR I tried intercourse with my gf twice while blasting CBAT just for the experience, and my roommate's parrot learned the song. My roommate doesn't know about this yet. EDIT: When I get back home from work today, I will sit by the bird and record audio. EDIT 2: Hyperlinked CBAT above for those who haven't read the story. EDIT 3: [Here’s the audio you skeptics](https://voca.ro/16NdnZIFs0d4). Enjoy CBIRD. God help me. ​ And [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/xr9hey/comment/iqg9pck/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) is the epic comment from Phanabani: **Phanabani: I remade Cbat using this parrot sample lmao -** [**https://youtu.be/ko4wYMsVfu0**](https://youtu.be/ko4wYMsVfu0) # [Update, posted on r/TylerLife](https://www.reddit.com/r/TylerLife/comments/xwwf8e/cbat_parrot_update_tifu_kept_deleting_my_update/) (Oct. 06, 2022) I screwed up again. So for those who don't know, [I accidentally taught my roommate's parrot to sing CBAT](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/xr9hey/tifu_by_accidentally_teaching_my_roommates_parrot/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) while trying to experience sex to the song while my roommate was out of town. Well my roommate got back into town on Sunday evening, and later that night I confessed my treason. I told him that I blasted [CBAT](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/x35iu6/tifu_my_20f_girlfriend_of_two_years_told_me_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) in bed twice and that his parrot learned the tune, and I told him how sorry I was and that it was completely unintentional. After all, it's his little birdy, I would never purposely try and corrupt it. His response: "What the hell is CBAT?" At this moment, I realized that had I only kept my mouth shut, I could have gotten away with it. To someone who doesn't know what CBAT is, that melody just sounds like a normal pattern of chirps that birds tend to pick up. But noooooo, I just had to ruin it. So now that I've opened pandora's box, I had to show him the CBAT story and play him the song. He thought it was the stupidest thing he's ever heard. Then we sat and waited till the bird sang it, and it did. I can confidently say that he was mildly annoyed that his bird is now more annoying than it was before. Now he is getting back at me by constantly teasing me around our friends for having had sex to CBAT. Twice. And they've started joining in. We were having a game night on Monday playing Among Us with some mutual friends, and he kept calling meetings just to say stuff like "Orange is an impostor! While the lights were off, I saw him f&$%ing to CBAT in elec!" Then some of our friends started doing similar shit. Weird So now a bunch of my friends know that I had sex to CBAT, which is pretty embarrassing honestly. But then again, at least it's a relief to know that he found some way to help even the score. Although a bird singing a sex song for a lifetime... I hope he doesn't tease me forever. Also, my roommate ever so graciously allowed me to record his reaction to all of this and post it here: [I am the audio reaction, click me!](https://voca.ro/19KNj9NbwSfS) TL;DR Told my roommate that I accidentally taught his parrot CBAT, only to learn he has never heard the song or story until I spoke of it. Now him and my friends are making fun of me for it, and I feel embarrassed as fuck around them now, and I deserve it all. *Note from OP: The audio reaction is really only worth listening to because the parrot CBATs in the background a couple of times towards the end. 😂😂 And at least this is a really non-controversial post, so none of you jackals will go harass the OOP for this one. After the last post, I'm really done posting anything controversial on here - at least, while the OOP still has an active account.*

TIFU by accidentally teaching my roommate's parrot to sing CBAT.

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Corfiz74

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zxn969/tifu_by_accidentally_teaching_my_roommates_parrot/

zxol9v

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Entitled old lady thinks the house next store is a brothel

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[deleted]

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zxpw0h

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Stepmother has a habit of throwing away Stepdaughter's belongings. Part 1.

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prettiergenghis

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zxq3kb

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Stepmother has a habit of throwing away Stepdaughter's belongings. Part 2.

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prettiergenghis

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zxq4ar

**I am not OP. Original post by [/u/SheDidNotListenToMe](https://www.reddit.com/user/SheDidNotListenToMe)**   ******   **[TIFU convincing my Deaf gf to tie me up and blindfold me](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/zo45bo/tifu_convincing_my_deaf_gf_to_tie_me_up_and/)** - 18th Dec 2022 Throwaway account. I'm not as good with words as most people who post on this sub, so my story might sound boring lol. My gf and I (m) are both 17. Communication is important for any relationship, but it's especially important for us because my gf is Deaf. A few weeks ago we became sexually active. It was awkward at first, but eventually we got the hang of it. I suggested we do something special in bed before we go our separate ways during the holidays. I convinced her to tie me up and blindfold me when we have sex again. Yesterday it happened. My gf and I were in her bedroom. We made sure to lock the door, even though we were alone in the house. When I was done going down on her, she tied me up and blindfolded me. She enjoys the reverse cowgirl position, so it didn't surprise me when I could feel her sitting on top of me like that. That position was our downfall because moments later I heard a knock on the door. It was her mom. I don't know if it's a Deaf person thing or just my gf, but her moans are loud as fuck. I've mentioned it to her many times (not as a criticism) and she always thinks I'm exaggerating. Her moaning made her mom lose her shit behind the door. I wiggled my hips like I was hula hooping to get my gf to either pay attention to my face and read my lips or get the fuck off of me before her mom kicked the door down. I couldn't see shit and my gf was becoming more enthusiastic and vocal due to my weird hip movements. The handcuffs were very challenging, but I managed to grab the box of wet wipes on the nightstand and toss it towards my gf. She paused and lifted my blindfold. I mouthed "your mom is home and she can hear us." My gf freed me and we got dressed as quickly and quietly as possible. Her mom stopped banging on the door when we stopped making a sound. My gf and I were too scared to open the door, so we literally did nothing. Her mom decided to send her a message on her phone. The message said "Is everything ok? Are you doing what I think you're doing?" My gf proceeded to type what seemed like the script for the next Lord of the Rings movie, but she changed her mind mid text and just replied with "yes" followed by "plz don't tell dad." I had to do my walk of shame in the presence of the mom, who was unpacking grocery bags in the kitchen at the time. I've never seen a person pack products into a fridge with so much aggression. We were unable to look at each other. I awkwardly said hello and goodbye and left. Tl:dr I convinced my Deaf gf to tie me up and blindfold me during sex. Her mom came home and heard us. My gf was oblivious to her mom banging on her bedroom door and continued fucking. Due to the positions we were both in, I struggled to tell my gf what was happening until it was too late.   **[UPDATE: TIFU using sign language to make my Deaf partner's parents love me](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/zqilqm/tifu_using_sign_language_to_make_my_deaf_partners/)** - 21st Dec 2022 A few days ago my gf and I got caught being intimate. Her mom heard us in the bedroom and banged on the door. My gf heard nothing because she is Deaf. I did my best to communicate what was happening, but I was in a compromising position at the time. By the time my gf and I were on the same page, the damage was done. Her mom heard it all. Yesterday my gf sent me a message to inform me that her parents wanted to have a discussion with the two of us regarding recent events. I agreed to meet with them at their house towards the end of the day. **This is what I expected to happen:** 1.Uncomfortable conversation with the parents about my shenanigans with their daughter. 2.Awkward apology from me. 3.Parents accepting my apology and encouraging my gf and I to practice safe sex, even though no sex at all would probably be their preference. 4.I use what I've learned in sign language to tell the parents how much I love their daughter and hopefully make them like me more. 5.Wholesome-ish ending. So, 1 - 3 kind of happened as expected, but I managed to fuck up 4 and 5. **This is what happened:** I've been learning sign language on an on and off basis for months now. I'm nowhere near good enough, but my gf and I thought it might disarm her parents if I made a small gesture in sign language to show how much I cared about her. It sounded like an excellent suggestion on paper, but I was worried that I would fuck it up because my sign language skills kind of suck. My gf encouraged me to learn something simple. Like an I love you or whatever. I thought maybe an "I love your daughter" to the parents would be better. However, due to the stress of her parents confronting us and the pressure to avoid saying the wrong things, including the sign language part, I became overwhelmed and miscommunicated the sign for "daughter" and signed "I love your whore." I knew the sign had something to do with touching the side of the cheek or chin, so I did what I thought made sense instead of aborting the mission when I forgot the fucking sign. Instant regret. My gf buried her face in her hands. I could tell she was laughing. Her parents didn't have the same reaction. The two of them looked at me like I was the poop demon in Dogma. I had no idea it was an inappropriate sign when it happened, but it was obvious I did something wrong. It was the complete opposite of a wholesome ending. My gf video called me afterwards to show me the difference between "daughter" and "whore" in sign language and to tell me I should probably avoid her parents for the time being because I'm not their favourite person at the moment. Guess I'm never gonna make a good impression now. Tl:dr I wanted to show my Deaf gf's parents how much I appreciated their daughter by using sign language to say "I love your daughter", but I accidentally signed "I love your whore" instead.

OOP is caught having sex with his deaf girlfriend

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c23gooey

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zxq4ar/oop_is_caught_having_sex_with_his_deaf_girlfriend/

zxrcxs

**I am NOT OP. Original post by** u/shatteredskybirch **in** r/ApplyingToCollege \---------------------------------------  [**I am going to ask him out (we got into the same school)**](https://www.reddit.com/r/ApplyingToCollege/comments/moqnve/i_am_going_to_ask_him_out_we_got_into_the_same/) \- April 9 2021 okay, so this is a huge FLUFF I literally had a crush on ONE single person my entire high school life and that is my best friend. We met in Honors English class when we were both in 9th grade. He is one of that god-accidentally-poured-too-much-talent kind of guy. He immigrated here from South Korea when he was 11, and he works super hard on everything. He absolutely HATES Asians-are good at math stereotypes because math is actually his least favorite subject (still got 5s in AP Cal and Stat 😖) and he wants to major in English Literature. I fell for him harder and harder over the years because not only is so SMARt and well put together but also super nice??? But I kind of felt like he was out of my league. Now I had two options: Either give up on him or work hard enough so that I don't feel so ˢᵐᵃˡˡ around him. Basically, I always studied when he did, worked when he did. I took all the AP classes he took (I assure you we are friends so it didn't feel like, stalking or anything). We both applied for T20 schools, and he kind of jokingly talked about how nice it would be to go to the same school and spend more time together on campus??? And WE WILL? And I will ASK HIM OUT!!!! WISH ME LUCK \---------------------------------------  [**\[UPDATE\] I am going to ask him out (we got into the same school)**](https://www.reddit.com/r/ApplyingToCollege/comments/mpy48k/update_i_am_going_to_ask_him_out_we_got_into_the/) \- April 12 2021 OKAY SO UPDATE for this FLUFF TIME HEre's what happened. It took me 3 days to come up with enough courage to even talk to him after I posted it. Only after I upload the original post did I realize that maybe he might also be part of this subreddit too and I PANICKED instantly when this thought crossed my mind. The post blew up and I was being a bit too specific with the detail for him to not notice it was him. Luckily for me, he doesn't even have a reddit account. SO Knowing how he has a big thing for Shakespeare, I tried to make things as Shakespearean as possible to somehow better my chances? Dunno. So naturally, I scheduled to watch *The King* with him via zoom (thanks to covid). I was so nervous I kid you not I had to turn off the camera several times to wipe droplets off my nose. Anyway, The movie was almost ending, and when Timothée Chalamet kills the old guy with the beard and goes talk to his ex gf (Lily Rose Depp) I thought about how awkward it must have been for Chalamet to act with his (then) gf, and how awkward it must be for them to act together again now they have broken up. I got sooooo nervous. You gotta understand he was a huge part of my high school, and the thought of losing him even as a friend really made me panic. Like for real, do you guys know how it feels like to swallow a throbbing beehive. I only felt like that when I was opening my letter of acceptance but now the threat was more existential. The movie ended and he started to talk about the movie and I couldn't really listen to what he was saying cause my ears were ringing. He realized something was wrong cause I was too silent. He asked me if I was okay and I kinda mumbled yes. And there was this long stretch of silence. Like for an entire MINUTE. Certainly, he read my mind and hated me already, I thought and then he said something like: "You know how I once told you about WB Yeats and how him getting heartbroken by his crush made him a great artist?" "I would like to write a poem like Yeats too, but I would rather be happy with the person I really like than to write a really good poem. You know what I mean? So you are either gonna make me a really good poet or really happy. But honestly, I would rather prefer the latter" GUYS IM DEAD. I asked him if he was asking me out and he said, "obviously" in a way that he always says it. ANd I THINK I SQUEAKED something like YES and then he wished me goodnight NOW I AM WRITING THIS AND I KID YOU NOT EITHER THIS IS A DREAM OR IT HAPPENED WTF is wrong with him. did he prepare an entire speech for me? I WONT" BBE ABLE TO SLEEP TONIGHT AGHH \*for those who asked, we are both going to T20 school in NH. HE is going to study Creative Writing and I am gonna study social science. HELP I wont ever sleep ver \---------------------------------------  **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

I am going to ask him out (we got into the same school)

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lillypillys

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zxxnwh

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Entitled old lady thinks the house next store is a brothel

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zy1q17

Originally posted by u/Throw_farfar_away_ in r/TrueOffMyChest on Dec 20, '22, updated the next day in the same post [Original Post ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/zr4994/i_was_pressured_into_a_threesome_by_my_boyfriend/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) I was pressured into a threesome by my boyfriend and enjoyed it, but not because of him. This happened two days ago, and my emotions are kinda still all over so sorry in advance. I'll try to put this in order and make it as clear as possible. Throwaway because BF knows my main. So I (21f) have been with my Bf (22m) for 3 years he's known I was bi since we started dating and had never really said anything about it till last year. After he met my college friend "Maya". Maya is also bi and very beautiful but while honest about her experience isn't one to brag. When in a group playing drinking games last year, Maya opened up about a threesome she had before, and I guess that's when my Bf got the idea. I had been against it when he first brought it up, but eventually, he wore me down. When I finally said yes, he immediately suggested Maya, which looking back was his aim from the start. When we approached Maya, she was down, and we had made plans that worked for everyone's schedule. Maya texted me separately multiple times to make sure I was on board and comfortable as she put "it just didn't seem my style," I told her I was onboard and to not worry that me and my Bf had talked about it. When the day came she surprisingly took the lead which I don't think my BF was expecting either. I'll spare you the details but she made sure the focus was me and actually instructed my boyfriend on what to do. If he tried to focus on her she'd gently redirected him to me. Saying things like "nuh look how pretty you're gf is when you do this." She barely let him touch her without asking me "do you want to do___". She would praise me a lot though out something I didn't even realize I liked. She also checked on both of us through the whole thing. I honestly think it was the best me and my Bf ever had. After it was over she did what she called 'after care' and made us comfortable. I don't remember me or BF falling asleep. But when we woke up breakfast was made. Maya is a chef professionally so it was amazing she had also left us a note as she had work in the afternoon and was sorry she couldn't stay. I feel like the dynamic between me Bf had changed since and I know we have to talk about it but I don't even know what to say. Edit: my point being I enjoyed sex with Maya more than I ever had with my boyfriend I didn't want to go super into detail cuz tmi but Maya was mostly touching me and was focused on me. I also think my boyfriend is disappointed he wasn't the focus. I also think he was surprised how much he like being told what to do Small update: my boyfriend beat me to it and has texted me we need to talk we are planning on meeting up at Starbucks after my shift tomorrow. I might update this post after Update: This whole thing was emotionally draining and this post blew up more than I thought. Well he saw the post and read through the comments. When we met he apologized he said he never saw himself convincing me as manipulation as we had talked about being more adventurous in the bedroom before and he thought I just needed time. He told me he did enjoy it a lot but it wasn't what he imagined it would be and was feeling insecure because I had been so responsive to Maya. It wasn't until after it was over he started feeling inadequate as a partner. I'll admit I was a little heated because I told him for the past year something like this would happen and that three-ways especially ones not talked about indepth and hard boundaries set, this happens. I was willing to work through this if he was willing to work on his insecurity, but then he asked me to drop Maya. I absolutely refused, Maya is one of the few friends I have in the city and were very close even before all this. I explained to him that distancing from Maya would not fix his insecurities. We went back and forth for a while before he tried to give me a "it's me or her speech" I just left him there I'm hurt and angry with myself it even got to this point. Like how in the hell did I get here? And I know I know you guys made sure to point out all the red flags but he was my first serious boyfriend. three years are hard to see past that I guess. I called Maya after I got home and explained everything she tried to apologize ,explaining she had had a small thing for me when we first met but grew into more just a friendship. when me and now ex bf approached her she was excited to in her words ",fuck it out of her system" she.apologized again saying she didn't want for us to break up or for this situation to be more than it was but I reassured her none of this is her fault. She said she would support me as a friend or give me space, whatever I wanted if that's what I needed and I really appreciate it. For all you guys, hoping I'd end up with Maya. Sorry to disappoint but I think I'm going to be single for a good long while and figure out my feelings. I do like Maya, as a friend and maybe more but if I was to ever pursue things I'd want to be sure I'm 100% genuine and not just feeling a void or an idea of a person. I have a therapist already and I guess this is going to be something I'm unpacking. So I can set better boundaries in the future for any future partners. Edit: So I keep getting PMs asking if they could put this on TikTok. I really don't care. I won't be logging into this account again after this so do whatever you want with this post. again, thanks for all the support.

OP Enjoyed The Threesome BF Insisted On, But Not Because Of Her Boyfriend (TOMC Dec 20, '22)

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KittenDealinMama

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zy1q17/op_enjoyed_the_threesome_bf_insisted_on_but_not/

zy1ykh

Originally posted by u/ ggravating_Bid_8944 in r/TrueOffMyChest on Dec 19, '22, updated within the same post (undated). [Original post ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/zqeeab/i_am_staring_down_what_could_be_the_final_months/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) I am staring down what could be the final months of my marriage Throwaway account for obvious reasons. I (30M) and my wife (30F) have been in a wonderful relationship for the past 11 years. We are college sweethearts and have been through so much together, from living in multiple cities, to eloping and dealing with our pissed off friends and families together, to seeing each other through the death of loved ones, to getting our first and second cats together. We lived our second childhoods together, as we liked to call it, and have had the most loving relationship I could ever ask for. Well, earlier this year, that all came crashing down for me. This year, my wife came out to me as polyamorous, and told me that it was just something she was learning about herself. I felt taken aback by it and felt all sorts of insecurities: am I not enough? is this relationship a joke to you? why do you need to fuck other people? Of course, I didn't say any of these things to her, but instead tried to remain calm and discuss the topic with her. She told me that it wasn't something she necessarily had the energy to pursue, but that it was a side of her she was interested in exploring eventually. That gave me some relief because at least I felt like I had time to process everything with her and learn more about polyamory, and maybe challenge myself to see if I just learned more, then it would be okay. After she told me, we were talking about polyamory and what that might look like for us every now and then on date nights. I was always uncomfortable talking about it, because in truth, I just want her. I don't want to think about other partners every time I think about her. I want her, and only her. Why can't I be enough? If she is truly polyamorous and wants other people in her, doesn't that imply that I was never enough? Anyways, I entertained the idea, because well she has always been bisexual, and there was always a part of me that felt "guilty" for "trapping" her in a hetereosexual relationship. See, I was her first and only, and sometimes I wonder if part of her feels like her queerness never really got to be expressed because of that. So maybe, this could work. And hey, it's not like it's realistic to expect that either of us would ever feel attraction of any kind to someone else. It's just about whether it's acted on or not. The months pass and we both learn more about polyamory and what that can look like. We like the idea of a mono/poly hierarchical relationship, and I stupidly think yeah, our love is so strong, I'll definitely learn to want this. I'll be the primary partner and I'll always come first. I believe her when she says that, because she's only ever been 100% there for me through thick and thin. But inside, I'm worried, because if she finds another, won't she stop being there for me 100%? I tell her my fears and she comforts me, telling me that I am the love of her life and that she's not going anywhere: but then again, if she wants to see other people, isn't she going somewhere? I love her so much and want to believe her, but I find myself dying inside whenever consensual non-monogamy or polyamory is brought up. I start reading all the propaganda out there by people in polyamorous relationships. Oh, it's so ethical, monogamist don't even know how to communicate!, most 1:1 marriages fail because we're not evolved for that!, we have so much love to give! I start telling myself all those sweet nothings and denying myself the right to want monogamy. And the thing is, I believe my wife when she tells me that she would prioritize me. The fucking problem is I don't want that. I don't want someone to just come by and take her away from me, ever. I don't want some fucker to call themselves her partner, because I want to be the only one. I have given her all of myself, and she's always given all of herself to me. And I'm here making myself feel selfish for not wanting to share. Fuck me. Well, this all came to a head one day when she finally came to me with what I didn't want to hear. She developed feelings for someone else, and wanted to tell me about it for transparency. She's always been honest and transparent with me, but man, did this one hit me like a fucking truck. She assured me that she hasn't acted on it, that person doesn't know, and she doesn't have to take it any further than I am comfortable. But I get a panic attack and start having visions of her leaving me. We talk a lot and she spends a lot of time comforting me, and we agree to see a poly-friendly therapist who can guide us through what we're going through. We go see the therapist and she points out that we have a wonderful relationship, but our communication had broken down: my wife had agreed that we wouldn't do anything with polyamory this year, and while she hasn't acted on anything, telling me was basically asking me to move things forward. I eventually break down and confess that I don't want any of this, and that I hadn't been allowing myself to be okay with wanting the beautiful relationship we already have. It's a tough conversation that the therapist guides us through, and eventually we decide to put a formal pause to polyamory talks. My life had been suffering because of a lot of losses simultaneously: my best friend decided to stop being friends with me because she was jealous of my wife, my workplace laid off my best friends and left only me behind, and my grandmother died. I haven't been sleeping well and I've been gaining weight. I just need my life to be stable for a little bit. We all eventually agree that it's best that we take a few months to work our communication and to help me move on from a lot of the loss I have been experiencing. She promises that we can go as slow as we need to, and that I can have more time if I want. She won't act on any feelings, and promises to treat the topic as delicately and sparsely as she can. But she also admits that being poly is something she needs, and she has so much love to give. We'll be monogamous for a few more months while I get my shit together, I guess. The thing is, she has been so wonderful to me and we have had such a beautiful life together. I don't want anyone else but her, and I want her all to myself. I can have her for a few more months, and I'm afraid that when those months pass and it's time to revisit this conversation, I'll be changed and learn to be okay with this. I'll be okay and watch the world we built together slowly fade, watch her walk away from me as I stop being the only one in her life. The thing is, I already stopped being that to her the moment she figured she was poly. My relationship with her as I know it has already ended, and I'm staring down our final months as a monogamous couple. I'm trying to hold myself together and be a better husband and partner anyway. If I'm going to be let down in the end, I might as well have the best fucking last months with her as I know it. This could all work out, or it couldn't. Either way, my marriage as I knew it is essentially over. There's something else there now in its place. I never wanted this, but it's what I get. Part of me prays that if I ever entertain this poly shit a few months from now, that she starts dating and realizes that dating fucking sucks and "nevermind I'm not poly, just silly." But that's just a fantasy. I got a few months left with her. Then, us as we knew it is done. We'll be something else. Maybe it can be better, but I get this nagging feeling that I'll have to learn to let her go already. She has so much love to give, and one day, I won't be the only one. And maybe, it'll be over. I'm broken, but I know this isn't necessarily the end. UPDATE: Thank you for all of your comments, advice, and kind words. After reading a lot of what you all had to say, I decided that at the very least, I should be honest with myself by being honest with her about what I want. I talked to her and reiterated that I only want to be with her and I don't want her to see anyone else, and that any changes to our relationship dynamic has to be discussed and enthusiastically consented to and reaffirmed regularly. I asked her to confirm with me that we are monogamous right now, and she said yes, and she said that I am her life partner and the one she wants to be with. I apologized to her for not being clear earlier about my discomfort and we decided to hit the reset button on all of this during the pause. I asked her to cut off ties with that person she has feelings for, and while she was saddened by this, she asked me to trust that she would do it and not bring that person up again. She told me she wants to choose me even if it's painful right now, and she can't promise that she won't resent me over this, but would let me know if that happens. You all are right: our relationship isn't poly in any form unless we're both in it 100%, because poly relationships require honest communication and consent, not unlike mono relationships. The point being: your relationship is what you both enthusiastically consent to, and anything less than complete and utter consent is unethical and harmful. We both had a hand in this and are working to be better, to ourselves and to each other. To be clear, I left out in my original post that she told me that she would be okay with me seeing other people and would be happy for me, but I had told her repeatedly over the last few months that I don't like the idea of seeing anyone else because I have everything I could want and more with her, so why would I look? I love her and I love our relationship: I want all the good and the bad, and growing together is what gives me the most satisfaction, and I don't care for NRE. I want ORE: old relationship energy--I want to love her more every day, I want to deal with her shit because it's her and not anyone else, I want to make joyous memories together.... It pained me every time that she implied or stated that dating other people is okay, and I had to specifically tell her to stop saying I am allowed to date others outside of our therapy sessions because it felt like coercion and she apologized and agreed that she was overly excited and inconsiderate. I told her multiple times and I hope she sticks to her word. She also admitted to me that sometimes she mourns "all she could have had." I asked her if that meant she would have wanted to swap the life we had for something else: she said no, and meant that she sometimes mourns a different life like a curiosity, but I didn't quite buy that. She said that she loves the life we had together while simultaneously mourning what could have been, and that mourning is only "sometimes." I told her I never mourn the past, because it's what makes me today, with all the good and the bad. I told her the life we've lived and continue to live together is the brightest light and strongest pillar in my life, and wishing for anything else feels dishonest and untrue to me. She agreed it was similar for her but she still wonders anyway. I know that while this isn't a time limit, it still feels like one. I don't know if or when she will come to resent me or our relationship because of a need to see what's out there, or I guess more kindly, explore love in others. An irony is that her sister was dumped by her ex because he "wanted to see what's out there" and we laughed at his stupidity years ago, and I feel like that is happening in slow motion for me. That being said, I feel at a minimum that I got to put my foot down, both for her and for myself. I am preparing for the worst to come while hoping for the best. I still want us to work out, because what we have is too precious to just toss away. Call me an idiot but I am willing to try, and if her need to love others supersedes her need for me, so be it. I'll be ready either way. The threat of the end doesn't have to mean daily despair: it can mean a reason to take every day with grace and gratitude, and that's how I'll choose to move forward. Thank you, truly, everyone. I feel the love and support from all of you. Maybe in a few months I'll let you know how it all goes.

Man's Wife Suddenly Comes Out As Polyamorous (TOMC Dec 19, '22)

ONGOING

KittenDealinMama

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