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0 | congress sets date for obama's last state of the union address | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/obama-state-of-the-union_us_565dae51e4b08e945fec79da |
0 | the secret to speaking 'teen' | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-secret-to-speaking-teen_b_7004542.html |
1 | ll cool j struggles to come up with way to brag about being in rollerball | https://www.theonion.com/ll-cool-j-struggles-to-come-up-with-way-to-brag-about-b-1819587115 |
1 | staffer investigating puddle of slime on floor looks up to discover coworker cocooned in bannon ooze | https://politics.theonion.com/staffer-investigating-puddle-of-slime-on-floor-looks-up-1819580191 |
0 | china excludes same-sex couples from domestic violence law | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/china-gay-couples-violence_us_56801281e4b014efe0d86ee5 |
1 | media stumped on how to handle missing mixed-race woman | https://www.theonion.com/media-stumped-on-how-to-handle-missing-mixed-race-woman-1819577092 |
0 | what happened after oprah made this single mom's wildest dreams come true | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/oprah-surprise-single-mom-denni-update_n_7081112.html |
1 | chris brown's agent suggests suicide could be great career move | https://entertainment.theonion.com/chris-browns-agent-suggests-suicide-could-be-great-care-1819574577 |
0 | scooby-doo movie says being a size 8 is a curse | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/scooby-doo-frankencreepy-fat-shaming-movie_n_5694539.html |
1 | increasingly cocky bernie sanders announces he won't take donations over 27 cents | https://politics.theonion.com/increasingly-cocky-bernie-sanders-announces-he-won-t-ta-1833749650 |
0 | french prime minister: we are at war against radical islam | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/manuel-valls-radical-islam_n_6449414.html |
0 | mr. trump, 17 presidents before you protected our national parks. will you? | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/17-presidents-before-you-loved-national-parks-and-protected_us_59356878e4b00573ab57a551 |
1 | oh, area man's aching back | https://local.theonion.com/oh-area-man-s-aching-back-1819564569 |
0 | unusual polling question reveals which candidate is more likely to win in november | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/poll-candidate-expected-win-clinton_us_5787c63de4b08608d33379be |
1 | nyc park officials finally get around to replacing dead light bulbs in statue of liberty's eyes | https://www.theonion.com/nyc-park-officials-finally-get-around-to-replacing-dead-1823594908 |
0 | west virginia teachers plan statewide strike | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/west-virginia-teachers-plan-statewide-strike_us_5a8c8a8ae4b00a30a2503bcc |
0 | chaka khan collaborates with terri lyne carrington on sinatra's 'i'm a fool to want you' | https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://www.eurweb.com/2016/03/chaka-khan-collaborates-with-terri-lyne-carrington-on-frank-sinatras-im-a-fool-to-want-you/ |
1 | british royal family sadly announces death of prince charming | https://www.theonion.com/british-royal-family-sadly-announces-death-of-prince-ch-1819575910 |
0 | obama considering appointing an ebola 'czar' to lead u.s. effort | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/obama-ebola-czar_n_6000458.html |
0 | 'finding dory' shows no signs of slowing down at the box office | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/finding-dory-weekend-box-office-july-4th_us_57796e59e4b0a629c1aa6e44 |
1 | cash-strapped zuckerberg forced to sell 11 million facebook users | https://www.theonion.com/cash-strapped-zuckerberg-forced-to-sell-11-million-face-1829112856 |
1 | u.s. dignity reserves nearly depleted | https://www.theonion.com/u-s-dignity-reserves-nearly-depleted-1819564874 |
0 | celebrities mourn anne meara on twitter after news of her death | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/anne-meara-twitter_n_7432772.html |
1 | america a fascist police state, stoned underage drunk driver charges | https://politics.theonion.com/america-a-fascist-police-state-stoned-underage-drunk-d-1819566051 |
1 | furious maitre d' can only assume hostess didn't realize she was addressing everlast | https://www.theonion.com/furious-maitre-d-can-only-assume-hostess-didn-t-realiz-1819576459 |
1 | area waitress has one hell of an ass on her, local man will tell you that right now | https://local.theonion.com/area-waitress-has-one-hell-of-an-ass-on-her-local-man-1819564893 |
0 | anthony weiner would rather eat a wooden table than return to congress | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/anthony-weiner-congress_us_56fedf15e4b0daf53aefbb81 |
1 | ranking women somehow not issue in miss usa debacle | https://www.theonion.com/ranking-women-somehow-not-issue-in-miss-usa-debacle-1819577974 |
0 | a ref's favorite team? i love 'em all | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/a-refs-favorite-team-i-love-em_b_6894260.html |
1 | new carpet cleaner safe for pets that were meant to go on living | https://www.theonion.com/new-carpet-cleaner-safe-for-pets-that-were-meant-to-go-1819577073 |
1 | teen responsible for all six items in clarksburg police blotter | https://local.theonion.com/teen-responsible-for-all-six-items-in-clarksburg-police-1819567253 |
1 | quentin tarantino breaks three-day media silence | https://entertainment.theonion.com/quentin-tarantino-breaks-three-day-media-silence-1819586098 |
0 | for someone who says he hates making predictions, trump sure makes a lot of them | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-hates-making-predictions_us_5897a37ce4b0c1284f26714e |
0 | here's what we know about 'american horror story' season 5 | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/american-horror-story-season-5_n_6497374.html |
0 | domestic violence still not grounds for divorce in mississippi | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/domestic-violence-divorce-mississippi_us_58b75242e4b0284854b3dc96 |
0 | emma watson donates $1.4 million to fight sex harassment in curtain raiser to baftas | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/emma-watson-14million-donation-to-fight-harassment_us_5a8a23c1e4b05c2bcacc3d72 |
1 | area liberal no longer recognizes fanciful, wildly inaccurate mental picture of country he lives in | https://politics.theonion.com/area-liberal-no-longer-recognizes-fanciful-wildly-inac-1819579440 |
1 | dementia patient's family keeps ripping her away from idyllic world of 1950s | https://local.theonion.com/dementia-patient-s-family-keeps-ripping-her-away-from-i-1819578494 |
0 | 6 rentboys tell all: what did the rentboy bust do to the hustler economy? | https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2015/09/six-rentboys-on-hustling-after-rentboycom.html |
1 | life-saving drug more accessible to lab rat than majority of americans | https://www.theonion.com/life-saving-drug-more-accessible-to-lab-rat-than-majori-1819578282 |
0 | 5 scientific reasons a beach vacation is necessary for your health | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/wallace-nichols-water-book_n_5686271.html |
1 | smart shopper only purchases items with 'quality' on the label | https://www.theonion.com/smart-shopper-only-purchases-items-with-quality-on-th-1819577436 |
0 | john kasich admits he's against d.c. statehood because it would give democrats more votes | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/john-kasich-dc-statehood_us_5718ef56e4b0479c59d73c97 |
0 | taylor swift used a 'gremlin voice' while writing '1989' | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/taylor-swift-gremlin-voice_n_6049578.html |
1 | grocery store bar actually has great little happy hour, reports man with a serious problem | https://local.theonion.com/grocery-store-bar-actually-has-great-little-happy-hour-1828464175 |
1 | even consumer's subconscious can tell banner ad campaign ineffective | https://www.theonion.com/even-consumer-s-subconscious-can-tell-banner-ad-campaig-1819575671 |
0 | how i embraced the winter blahs | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-i-embraced-the-winter-blahs_b_6615158.html |
0 | the ultimate odessa, texas, road trip playlist | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-ultimate-odessa-texas-road-trip-playlist_us_59e8c5cbe4b061a7badad778 |
1 | moral compass lost in woods | https://www.theonion.com/moral-compass-lost-in-woods-1819587439 |
1 | ceo has big ideas to grow company's problems | https://www.theonion.com/ceo-has-big-ideas-to-grow-company-s-problems-1819578259 |
1 | high school band teacher spends 85% of rehearsal hammering in dress code for holiday concert | https://local.theonion.com/high-school-band-teacher-spends-85-of-rehearsal-hammer-1819577272 |
1 | michelle obama seen outside walking family rhinoceros | https://www.theonion.com/michelle-obama-seen-outside-walking-family-rhinoceros-1819575131 |
0 | watch: dolphin knocks stand-up paddleboarder off his board | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/dolphin-crashes-into-sup_n_5701874.html |
0 | britney and her sons cover people magazine | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/britney-spears-sons-people_n_6938362.html |
0 | glitter birkenstocks are now a thing you can actually buy | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/glitter-birkenstocks-are-now-a-thing-you-can-actually-buy_us_5ac23ea2e4b0a47437ac95d8 |
0 | 3 reasons to get out of your comfort zone immediately | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/3-reasons-to-get-out-of-comfort-zone_b_5568795.html |
0 | conservatives upset that gay catholics were invited to meet pope francis at the white house | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/conservatives-upset-that-gay-catholics-were-invited-to-meet-pope-francis-at-the-white-house_us_560046a8e4b00310edf7f068 |
0 | chelsea clinton stops by aclu event to tell america she's not giving up | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/chelsea-clinton-stops-by-aclu-event-to-tell-america-shes-not-giving-up_us_58def21de4b0ba3595952f1b |
0 | love hurts: a mature, brief surmise on moving on from rejection and heartache | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/a-mature-brief-surmise-on_b_8257402.html |
0 | six things we learned from the 'mad men' tca panel | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mad-men-tca-panel_n_6449350.html |
1 | pope francis reverses position on capitalism after seeing wide variety of american oreos | https://www.theonion.com/pope-francis-reverses-position-on-capitalism-after-seei-1819578246 |
0 | trump team is mulling muslim registry and planning border wall, reported adviser says | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/reported-trump-immigration-advisor-says-hes-drafting-plan-for-muslim-registry_us_582c59bde4b01d8a014b6328 |
0 | icymi: explaining ted cruz's face and a zika conspiracy theory | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/health-stories-february-2016_us_56c5f44ce4b0b40245c94c0d |
0 | safeguarding america's health system from sabotage | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/safeguarding-americas-health-system-from-sabotage_us_5a1ecf33e4b0e37da0447b66 |
1 | greenland thinks it looks fat in mercator projection | https://www.theonion.com/greenland-thinks-it-looks-fat-in-mercator-projection-1819587064 |
1 | lovelorn app aches to know your location | https://www.theonion.com/lovelorn-app-aches-to-know-your-location-1819580100 |
1 | local newswoman's hairstyle reported on by co-anchor | https://www.theonion.com/local-newswomans-hairstyle-reported-on-by-co-anchor-1819567611 |
1 | report: store out of good kind | https://local.theonion.com/report-store-out-of-good-kind-1819579851 |
0 | would bernie sanders supporters take $200,000 from goldman sachs for a speech? | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/bernie-sanders-speaking-fees_us_571419dae4b0060ccda38fed |
1 | pizza hut employee still hanging around after shift | https://www.theonion.com/pizza-hut-employee-still-hanging-around-after-shift-1819565586 |
1 | extremely vibrant town able to sustain two buffalo wild wings | https://local.theonion.com/extremely-vibrant-town-able-to-sustain-two-buffalo-wild-1819575614 |
0 | refugee blues | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/post_10092_b_8097064.html |
0 | blocking the courts: the trump triple threat | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/blocking-the-courts-the-trump-triple-threat_us_596fe9dbe4b0f68541cd626c |
1 | terrible idea committed to paper | https://www.theonion.com/terrible-idea-committed-to-paper-1819569869 |
0 | donald trump retweets joke about violence toward hillary clinton | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-clinton-tweet_us_59be731ce4b086432b07c60c |
1 | bartender refuses to acknowledge patron's regular status | https://www.theonion.com/bartender-refuses-to-acknowledge-patrons-regular-status-1819567110 |
0 | the white house isn't going to respond to petition to arrest donald trump | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/white-house-petition-donald-trump_us_5703c69ce4b0a06d5806dc5d |
0 | white house just gave a terrible defense of trump's refugee ban | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sean-spicer-ban-vetting_us_588f9e31e4b0c90efeff2aa9 |
1 | u.s. stock market soars after bernanke's reassuring comments about 'pacific rim' | https://www.theonion.com/u-s-stock-market-soars-after-bernanke-s-reassuring-com-1819575260 |
1 | rude guy unfortunately says something funny | https://local.theonion.com/rude-guy-unfortunately-says-something-funny-1819571122 |
0 | pit bull lovers gather in washington | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/pit-bull-washington_n_5260387.html |
1 | clinton reminds new yorkers she moved there hoping career dreams would work out too | https://politics.theonion.com/clinton-reminds-new-yorkers-she-moved-there-hoping-care-1819578809 |
0 | this dancing traffic light is the grooviest way for pedestrians to stay safe | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/smart-creates-dancing-traffic-light_n_5843884.html |
0 | the planet just crossed another major carbon milestone | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/co2-milestone-2015_us_580fa287e4b08582f88c515a |
1 | senate: 'renewed fisa legislation imperative in protecting the few american freedoms that will remain' | https://politics.theonion.com/senate-renewed-fisa-legislation-imperative-in-protect-1822205285 |
1 | man does what he convinced himself he loves for a living | https://local.theonion.com/man-does-what-he-convinced-himself-he-loves-for-a-livin-1819576785 |
0 | american muslims honor muhammad ali as a champion of their faith | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/american-muslims-honor-muhammad-ali-as-a-champion-of-their-faith_us_5755de39e4b0b60682dea5a7 |
0 | new 'star trek' tv series in the works for 2017 | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/star-trek-tv-show_us_56378a03e4b00aa54a4ecb60 |
1 | report: most americans can't even name their state's shadow lord | https://www.theonion.com/report-most-americans-can-t-even-name-their-state-s-sh-1819576052 |
1 | study: 83% of marathon spectators only attend for sick thrill of watching fellow man suffer | https://www.theonion.com/study-83-of-marathon-spectators-only-attend-for-sick-1828946111 |
1 | 'entertainment weekly' critic lets director redo 'sorority row' for better grade | https://entertainment.theonion.com/entertainment-weekly-critic-lets-director-redo-sorority-1819571059 |
0 | aclu sues trump administration over voter fraud probe | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/aclu-sues-trump-voter-fraud-commission_us_5963b93de4b005b0fdc722d7 |
0 | the uninsured rate for hispanic kids has hit a historic low | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/uninsured-kids_us_569e881be4b0cd99679b8d44 |
0 | jeb bush may be the most awkward 2016 candidate | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/jeb-bush-is-super-awkward_us_560058abe4b00310edf80eaa |
0 | dr. oz, mel gibson, & congress called out using steve buscemi and an adorable puppy | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/hbo-host-calls-out-dr-oz-_n_5641209.html |
1 | man adds a few personalized tracks to standard new-girlfriend mix cd | https://www.theonion.com/man-adds-a-few-personalized-tracks-to-standard-new-girl-1819566907 |
0 | when our tears become medicine | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/when-our-tears-become-medicine_us_593851f5e4b094fa859f154e |
0 | michael douglas denies masturbating in front of a former employee | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/michael-douglas-denies-masturbating_us_5a560ed0e4b03417e873c855 |
0 | madeleine albright congratulates jen welter on becoming first female nfl coach | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/madeleine-albright-jen-welter_us_55b914c6e4b0074ba5a72ae2 |
0 | tight wisconsin house primary too close to call (update) | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/wisconsin-house-primary_n_5673376.html |