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I get very nervous and anxious/scared before sex.

Tell your partner about this so that ideally the person has a chance to be supportive and reassuring, as well as listen to your specific worries and fears.Initiate this type of discussion at a time which is removed from the time you’re about to have sex.This way you and your partner both have a chance to realize the two of you are having a discussion,  not a prelude to sex.If you meant in your question that you feel anxious about having sex w a random partner, then maybe you are less interested in hookup sex than you imagined.

tell be about alternating standing shoulder press

the alternating standing shoulder press is a popular dumbbell exercise targeting the shoulders it can be performed in strengthfocused rep ranges such as reps per set or for higher reps to build muscle or for conditioning

My son stole my debit card and lied about it. It's not the first time he has lied. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know if I should punish him or make him do something. I've tried talking to him and asking if anything was wrong. I have grounded him, but nothing works. What should I do?

A lot depends on the age of your child, but given that it was a mis-used debit card, I am going to guess he's a teen?  Assuming that, there are a couple of important things to keep in mind...1.  That he lied about the misuse indicates he knows he was in the wrong.  That's a dreadful feeling - getting caught out- and an impulsive lie may have popped out of his mouth before he thought it through (after all a debit spend is pretty easy to track).  2. Once he lied he stuck with the lie.    Somewhere along the line, even though he knew that you knew he wasn't telling the truth, he stuck with his story.  And as you said, it's not the first time he lied.  Now it looks like a habit has formed.Going forward, when there is a dishonest act of any kind, it's essential that you set it up so your son can be truthful.  Simply put, do not ask questions.  If you know for certain that he has, for example, misused your debit card, say so.  Asking "did you" invites him to get creative with denial; asking "why did you" implies that, with a good enough reason, he might not be in hot water with you.  Instead, say what is:  "I see this charge on my debit card and realize you used it without my permission".  (You can only do this if you know for sure it was him but it sounds like you do).  If he meets with denial, stay calm, restate that you are aware this happened.  Then deliver consequences that match the transgression (he has to return the item if it's returnable or find a way to pay you back for the charge as well as any fees incurred in using it).  Make it harder to find your card because he isn't that great at curbing the impulse to use it yet.And most importantly, once the consequence is delivered you have to let it go.  Continuing to bring it up won't benefit him, but it does have the potential to make him more sneaky.  Every time he asks respectfully to use it, whether you allow him to or not, be sure to praise him for asking nicely.  "Catch" him doing it right as often as possible.Hang in there - this isn't super unusual behavior but it isn't acceptable, so address it but don't let yourself get too wound up about it.

I am lazy. I am very aware of the problem and try to talk myself out of it all the time, but I never seem to shake the habits. I try to think of what it is doing to me and my future, but no matter what, I keep creating excuses for myself to continue the procrastination. All I'm ever left with is regrets and a low grade. I am at an all-time low in my life, and I'm not even that old. I've always been a straight-A student, but now I'm getting C's and F's, and it hurts me to know that I am way better than that. It's not even like the work is hard.

I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a tough time. It sounds to me like you are suffering from depression to some degree. Have you seen a therapist or talked to anyone about your problems? If not, I would advise that you do so sooner than later so that you can learn what is causing you to be unmotivated and causing difficulty with breaking the cycle that you are in. It is also a good idea to get a medical evaluation from your doctor to rule out any medical causes for your current condition. Most often, difficult situations that life throws at us, along with an inability to think positively, and break bad habits are what cause depression. Some things you can do immediately are seek help from a professional, schedule in time every day to engage in pleasurable (or once pleasurable) activities, exercise daily, and practice thinking more positively. Set a few daily goals for yourself and write them down each morning or the night before. Achieving your goals every day will give you a sense of accomplishment and can lead to feeling more optimistic and capable. Additionally, keep a journal to write down how you are feeling and what ideas you have to help feel better. Sometimes having these ideas written down make it more real and tangible. Know that depression is most often curable but takes work and a desire to change (which you clearly have). Once you start feeling better about yourself and your life, your grades should naturally begin to improve, as you will have more motivation and energy to focus on that particular area. Best of luck to you!

tell be about treadmill walking

treadmill walking is a popular cardiovascular exercise performed on a machine that is available in most gyms performing this exercise on a treadmill allows you to adjust the speed of your walking and depending on the machine perform it on an adjustable incline many machines also have builtin heart rate monitors and timers to help you track your progress

My daughter seemed to be developing at a normal rate until about the age of 10. She then started to act younger than she is. Now she only wants to play with younger kids and she doesn't act her age. I don't know why this is happening. Is this normal?

Hello.It sounds like you are really concerned about your daughter because you have noticed a significant change in her behavior .   It's really a great first step that you are reaching out to get some ideas about what might be going on .  You are clearly an observant and hands on  mom who wants to be sure that her daughter is ok.This is a tough question to answer without more information .  With that said , I have found that "under stress people regress."  In other words , many people , children and adults alike , often regress and behave differently - as if they were younger than their actual age - when under stress .   Therefore , my first question would be : has anything been happening recently that is causing your daughter stress ?  This could be anything from conflict at home , recent changes such as moving , divorce , a loss of some kind , switching schools , or losing a friend or friends .   Additionally , sometimes if children are feeling bullied or left out by same age peers , they may gravitate toward younger playmates as a way to boost their social confidence .    I would suggest that you think about what stressors / changes may have occurred recently.  You may also want to check in with her teacher (s) to see if they have noticed any changes in your daughter's behavior at school .I also think that you can have a conversation with your daughter in order to see if you can get a sense about whether or not something has been bothering her.  Something as simple as " I have noticed that you aren't spending time with the friends you used to hang out with ; it seems like you have been playing with a lot of younger kids lately .  Am I right about that ? " and then if she says yes you might ask a few questions such as : "did something happen with your friends that  is making you not want to be with them?" "Has something been bothering you lately ? Are you feeling upset or worried ? " If she denies that there is anything wrong you might even say " I know that sometimes when I feel stressed or worried , I tend to act a little differently - sometimes I withdraw from my regular group of friends , or I get cranky and feel less like myself .  I wonder if something like that is happening with you ?" If you are really concerned and not getting any answers from her and / or her teachers , perhaps you can consult with a therapist to discuss your concerns further and decide if it might  help for your daughter to talk to a therapist a few times , or at the very least you can get more specific tips from a therapist about how to approach this issue with your daughter more effectively . The more detail you can provide about what you have noticed with your daughter , including any changes or new stressors ,  any possible patterns to this behavior , if school has become more difficult socially and or academically , the more a therapist can guide you about how best to handle your concerns and talk with your daughter in a way that is helpful to her. Good luck!   I believe that this may just be a phase and it seems to me to be well within the normal range of children's behavior.  I do, though, think that you will feel more assured about this  if you can get to the bottom of what's going on .

tell be about incline facedown bar front raise

the incline facedown bar front raise is an upperbody exercise targeting the shoulders because it is performed face down on an angled bench it has a greater range of motion than standing or uprightseated raises and hits the shoulders from a different angle raise variations are usually performed for moderate to high reps such as reps per set or more as part of upperbody or shoulderfocused training

When my boyfriend gets in a snit, he gives me the silent treatment for days. When I ask what is wrong, I get nothing: no reply, no phone call. If he does reply, it is something very sarcastic and hurtful. He never admits he is wrong and never apologizes.

Try during a good moment between you to tell him you'd like to talk over something about your relationship and that you'd like to set a time with him to do so.When a person shuts down and withdraws, the only choice is to withdraw yourself.   If this continues on a regular basis, after a while the two of you will become increasingly distant and have developed the very unhappy habit of not clearing the air between the two of you.Good for you to recognize a problem and be willing to address it!

I had to go to the emergency room today to get an X-ray of my spine. My boyfriend didn't want to sit there and wait with me. Instead, he wanted to go do things for his friends while I waited. When I was done, he was twenty minutes late in picking me up. He doesn't understand why I'm mad, and we keep bickering at each other over the smallest things. He thinks I don't have a reason to be mad, but I believe that I do.

Hi Moore, Underneath all your anger is a lot of hurt. The hurt is there because you are being disrespected. Your boyfriend (unless you've only told me a small, disproportionate part of the bigger picture) doesn't tend to treat you like you're important and he dismisses your emotions. This is happening because this is the level of ability (disability?) he has right now in a relationship. You can expect more of this behaviour (because that's who he is; it has nothing to do with you), and I hope you think carefully about whether it's working for you to be in this. You could try telling him that you are hurt, because people tend to listen more to hurt than to anger, but my guess is with him it might not make a difference. I hope you talk to someone who knows and supports you about how you're feeling in this relationship.

Back in high school, my friend and I used to masturbate around each other. I hate even talking about it now because it's so weird. We didn't even realize how messed up it was at the time. One time, it escalated and we ended up doing it for each other. It wasn't supposed to be a gay thing, but it sure sounds like it now that I talk about it. I pushed this away until it recently came up in my head again. I'm having a lot of trouble.

Writing about your high school masturbation times with your friend, is itself a form of acknowledging the full picture of who you are.   You are doing well to reflect on your actions in the truthful way you are doing.Also positive is that you have perspective, that at your age and social maturity, you were innocently doing something that in adult terms, would be considered in a negative way.Maybe through your more mature mind's eye of today, you can feel some compassion and understanding for your high school self.  This way your sense of self-judgment may start to dissolve a little bit more.

I was raped repeatedly when I was younger. I told my parents and action was taken, but now that I’m an adult, I suffer from extreme anxiety.

While anxiety can come about for many reasons, trauma is definitely one of the factors that makes anxiety a possibility both immediately following a traumatic event and later in life. When we have experienced such scary violations of our bodies - we may experience residual effects of fear for many years to come. This is normal, natural and in many ways helpful - at least initially. This fear is in some way a sign that your body/mind is taking good care of you - trying to keep you on your toes in order to protect you from anything terrible happening to you again. However, as it sounds like you know, anxiety feels awful and there are certainly ways of learning to reduce anxiety. In order to get the tools you need to manage anxiety and also understand where it comes from and how it works in your life, I would encourage you to seek professional help and check out anxiety resources online.  

She mostly targets me on social media. The bullying used to be much worse, but it is still going on. The comments are so vague, but I know that they are meant for me. Even when I confront her, she messages me short phrases to try to get in my head. If I try to fight back, she will ruin me.

Sorry to hear of your problem situation.  Feeling intimidated by another person is very unsettling.Stop having contact with the person.Bullies only interact with others either by intimidating someone or by themselves feeling intimidated by someone.Bullies do not have the same dynamics as everyone else.No one can convince or persuade or talk a bully out of their behavior.The best protection for yourself, assuming you are not being physically threatened by the person, is to close contact with them.This does not take away any of the disappointment or sadness of wishing for a better relationship with the person.Until the bully wants to interact differently with others, only harm can result from contact with them.Step one is to stop the bleeding, then to assess and learn to live with not having the person in your life.

I just don't know what I want in life anymore. I'm can't figure out what it is that is keeping me distracted and unfocused. I can't put things into perspective at all. I'm just stuck, and I'm disappointed with my lack of accomplishments.

Check this blog out:  Four-ways-add-self-esteem-friends-listHope you find a few nuggets of helpfulness in this.

what role does hydration play in supporting fitness goals

adequate hydration is crucial for optimal performance muscle recovery and overall health during physical activity

I feel that I need to end my present relationship. He lives three hours away and likes the reassurance of having someone to talk to multiple times per day and seeing me once or twice a month. I want someone who is more present and more of a life companion. Lately, he has had a very busy work schedule and I have only seen him a few times in the last 6 weeks. I told him that I can't continue in this way because I constantly feel frustrated and angry and that he is not making the relationship enough of a priority. I also feel it is keeping me from possibly finding the relationship I want. We have been together 7 years. The problem is that I panic and experience anxiety and depression thinking of him with someone else and then thinking I will never meet someone I like. We have gone through this cycle already 4-5 times and I feel it is unhealthy to stay in it, but my aversion to the anxiety and depression I experience upon separation always leads me to reconcile.

It sounds like you have some insight into the cycle that you describe with your current relationship and at the same time you are still feeling stuck. It also sounds like the distressing feelings that you experience, when you imagine what will happen for you and your current partner, are pretty overwhelming. A competent therapist may be able to help you work through these difficult thoughts and feelings and find a resolution to this cycle that will feel right to you.

I know I need to deal with my depression. But I don't know how and I don't want to tell anyone. How can I deal with depression without telling anyone?

Hello,It is completely understandable that you would not want people to know about your depression. I would first like commend you for realizing that you need to help with your depression by reaching out here. That is a great start, and you've taken the very first courageous step. Depression can feel debilitating and overwhelming. Depression is also a very personal thing and no one has know but you and the therapist. The best way to begin learningand dealing is to pick up the phone and call a therapist or email a therapist and schedule a session. The great news is that with professional help you can feel better and you will learn how deal with and manage the depression. There are many ways to help with depression that a therapist can teach you and help guide. You do not have do this alone. Asking for help and going to therapy is a strength! This can be done in a private and confidential setting.Depression should be treated by a therapist, in a safe, confidential office setting. The therapist can then discuss your depression with you in more detail to figure out the underlying cause, how long you've been feeling this way and identify what brings on these feelings. There is hope and depression can be treated with great success, you CAN feel good again. Depression can be managed appropriately by seeing a licensed therapist. Often times therapy will offer relief because you would have someone there simply to listen to you, validate your feelings and listen to your story. The therapist will be able to offer professional insight and perspective on the situation and help you think outside the box. The therapist can do many things with you, provide insight and offer many ideas to help you learn new coping skills and ideas of things you enjoy, encouraging you to re engage in hobbies you once enjoyed or even discover new things you may enjoy. There are creative ways to learn to cope too!Your therapist will also be there to support you, without judgement, at your pace, through the entire process. But the first step is finding a therapist and beginning to identify the cause your depression. Healing is possible and getting your happiness back is also possible.Feel free contact me for additional help or informationLaura Cassity, LMSW, LMAC

He isn't violent, but he has anger issues and deep insecurities. He's working on them and has improved. We started counseling, and he participated in one or two individual sessions, but we broke up again shortly thereafter. Now his constant questions and accusations are getting really draining.

Sometimes relationships just do not work.  Don't feel that the first, second, or even third relationship is the relationship you are suppose to be in for life.   The one that is meant for you will require work but should be be draining and a constant roller coaster of breaking up.  It is good you all went to counseling, but one or two sessions may not be enough to make and see a change in behavior.  It takes times and it takes both working toward the same goal.  I would suggest doing you...meaning focusing on your own growth at the time.  If he wants to grow with you, he will make the necessary steps.  If he doesn't...wish him well.

I was anxious to go to middle school. I was afraid of what people might say about me, so when school started, I wasn't acting like myself. I was quiet, which I'm usually not. I didn't talk to anybody and didn't have any friends. Then a few years later, my grandma died. I really became depressed and stop going to school for a little. I hated myself and still do. I just need help. I need someone to care for me. I need someone to show that they care.

I agree; you need more care and support. No one deserves to feel alone, or like they hate themselves. We're all wonderful, imperfect, complicated people and we're at our best when we're all helping each other. I'm glad you wrote this question, because a lot of people have this feeling sometimes. I can tell that you're smart, because you seem to sense that the two things you wrote about are connected...you "not being yourself", and then how you felt when your grandma died. When Grandma died, you needed and deserved extra love and support, but the people around you didn't seem to give it to you, maybe. My hunch is that they wanted to, but that they didn't know how much you needed it, or what you needed exactly. The older you get, the more you will have to take charge of letting people know what you need. Maybe this is one of the suckier parts of being mature, but that's how it works. When you started middle school, it sounds like you changed; you got more quiet, right? That must have felt weird, to not be acting like yourself. It sounds like fear tricked you into thinking people wouldn't like you. Fear can be silly. So then, fear got you to not show yourself, and when we don't show ourselves, people can't see who we are; they don't know us as well and then they don't know what we need and they can't care for us as well either. Fear of not being liked isolated you from the people who love you. It does that to a lot of us. So, where you're at right now is because of what fear did to you, and also because when Grandma died you were already isolated so people couldn't see your pain and know that you needed support. There's a simple solution, but you'd have to be brave enough to look fear in the face and say "Get off my back!". "You're not helping me by telling me lies." Can you be brave enough to go back to your old, louder, self? If you talk to the people closest to you...tell them what you think and how you feel, then they'll be able to give you the care that you want and deserve. I wish you well as you try this!

how can i optimize my nutrition to support my fitness goals

nutrition optimization tailor your diet to your goals focus on balanced macronutrients such as lean proteins complex carbs and healthy fats adjust calorie intake based on whether you aim to gain muscle or lose fat

Every winter I find myself getting sad because of the weather. How can I fight this?

There can be lots of different factors contributing to this. Here are some possible tips:Consider if you know anything about what specifically is making you feel sad? If you're looking for activities because you cannot participate in what you like to do in the warmer months, consider finding some indoor winter activitiesConnect with others. One idea is to join a group (such as a book club) that meets regularly. This could give you something to look forward to regardless of the colder weather.Enjoy the sunshine from indoors. You may notice that sometimes looks are deceiving women is bright and sunny outside, but is also quite cold when you open the door. If you are staying inside for the day, consider allowing yourself to enjoy the sunlight without specifically considering that it is also cold.Consider using a light box. Certain types of light boxes are designed to help with the "winter blues." You can find more information here: http://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/light-therapy/home/ovc-20197416Recently, one of the nurse practitioners that I work with has been checking a lot of vitamin D and vitamin B12 levels and she says the lower levels of these vitamins can contribute to feelings of less motivation or energy than is desired.Each of us has days when we are not thrilled about the weather and may be feeling sort of "bummed" or "down." If you find yourself having these days frequently or for several consecutive days in the above strategies are not helping, consider talking with a therapist about more specific strategies that may be of help to you. Also, because  if everything you would see is likely to live in your area, they would be familiar with the weather patterns where you are and may have some tips that they use for themselves or With other clients.

what are some strategies for maintaining a healthy weight without resorting to fad diets or restrictive eating

increase physical activity regular physical activity is key to maintaining a healthy weight aim for at least minutes of exercise each day and choose activities that you enjoy mindful eating eat slowly and pay attention to how you feel to identify when you are full eat proteinrich foods eating foods with more protein can help you feel fuller for a longer period of time and can help reduce cravings and keep you on track with your weight loss goals avoid unhealthy foods unhealthy foods such as processed foods sugar and saturated fats can add to

A few years ago I was making love to my wife when for no known reason I lost my erection, Now I'm In my early 30s and my problem has become more and more frequent. This is causing major problems for my ego and it's diminishing my self esteem. This has resulted in ongoing depression and tearing apart my marriage. I am devastated and cannot find a cause for these issues. I am very attracted to my wife and want to express it in the bedroom like I used to. What could be causing this, and what can I do about it?

First step always is to do a medical rule out so that you're sure the problem is psychological and emotion based, not a medical condition which requires care and attention.If you are medically clear in the reasons for losing your erection, then reflect on what may be creating a loss in confidence in either who you are and what you're doing with your life, or whether your wife has these sort of problems within herself.Often a problem transfers ownership of who shows it.If you are a sensitive person its possible your erection problem reflects your wife's insecurities and self-doubt.  If she is someone who is reluctant to talk about feeling unsure then in a certain way by you showing a problem, she can avoid looking at herself.There may not be a direct cause such as usually exists in a medical problem.Medicine looks for symptoms to treat.Our emotional lives are much more indirect.If you feel stress at work or are unhappy in the place you live, for example, then your frustration may show up in your sex life.Basically, do a broad inward search of your life and what it holds and maybe ask your wife to do the same.You may clear the air within yourselves and between each other so the problem goes away.

tell be about alternate incline dumbbell curl

the alternating incline dumbbell biceps curl is an exercise targeting the biceps and performed face up on an incline bench this creates a vertical arm angle which helps to isolate the biceps and limit involvement of the shoulder muscles this curl variation is usually performed for moderate to high reps such as rep per arm or more as part of upperbody or armfocused training

I am so terrified of having sex anymore because I have been told over and over that sex is dangerous even though me and my partner used both forms of protection. My partner is not happy about this and simply wants more sex, and honestly, I want to give that to her.

I am wondering who is telling you that sex is dangerous.  Is this medical advice, or is this someone’s opinion trying to scare you from having sex?  And if so, how old are you? Is it ok to have sex, do you want to have sex?  It sounds like you want to make your partner happy, and that you are taking care of protecting yourself and your partner, but maybe you are forgetting to consider what do you really want.  Having sexual relations is a very personal decision; you and your partner have to consent.  It is also important to talk about the possible consequences and being responsible for them as well.  But sex should be something that you enjoy, not that you should be fearful of.  A therapist can help you to process those negative thoughts and feelings that may impair you from enjoying your sexual life. ¿Cómo puedo superar mi miedo de un embarazo no deseado y poder tener sexo otra vez?Estoy aterrorizado de tener sexo porque me han dicho una y otra vez que el sexo es peligroso, inclusive cuando yo y mi pareja usamos dos métodos de protección.  Mi pareja no está contenta y simplemente quiere más sexo, y honestamente, yo quiero darle lo que ella quiere.Me pregunto quién te está diciendo que el sexo es peligroso.  ¿Esto es aviso medico, o es alguien intentando asustarte para que no tengas relaciones?  ¿Y si es así, que edad tienes?  ¿Es apropiado que tengas sexo a tu edad?  ¿Quieres tener sexo? Me parece que estas enfocado en hacer feliz a tu pareja, y te estás protegiendo y protegiéndola, pero tal vez están olvidando analizar que tu quieres realmente.  Recuerda que tener una relación sexual es una decisión personal, en la que tú y tu pareja deben de estar de acuerdo.   También es importante hablar de las posibles consecuencias de tener relaciones, como un embarazo, y discutir sus opciones e intenciones, si eso ocurriera.  Ya que han tenido comunicación al respecto, el sexo debe ser algo que disfruten,  no que temen.  Un terapista te puede ayudar a procesar esos pensamientos negativos y los sentimientos que te pudieran impedir disfrutar de tu vida sexual.

I have a lot on my mind, but all I want to do is stay locked in my room and not socialize with anyone. Why do I feel so alone?

There is a difference in someone agreeing to try something and agreeing to continue to do it. Have you ever been willing to try something and then decided you did not like it? A type of food? A sport? A new restaurant? A type of dance? So this does not mean that things have changed between you. It does mean that the two of you may need to spend some time to find out what you both like. Instead of looking at it as a rejection, look at it as a challenge, an adventure that the two of you can go on as explorers together. Some couples have even found it helpful to each write down ten things they would like the other person to try and then each person can pick three things from the other person's list to add into their life together when they chose to over the next few weeks.

My therapist is gay so there are no sexual issues here. However, my therapist for six years has made me believe that he cares about me and that we are friends. I have loaned money to him many times, and he always paid me back. I had a medical emergency last weekend and I was heavily medicated. I knew that this therapist came into my home and wrote down my credit card information so he could pay back what he owed me, but this therapist dropped me off and never came again. I don't know what to do.

Do you want this therapist to have your credit card information?If not, then cancel the credit cards that you believe may now be accessible to this therapist.Therapists are expected to keep very clear boundaries between the therapy work and not have other relationships, such as "friend" or "money lender" with someone who is their patient.Therapists are never "friends" with their patients.Letting you believe that you are the therapist's friend, is a violation of professional ethics and almost definitely, a violation of the Consumer Protection laws in your State.Start by dropping this person as your therapist.  He has broken too many ethical standards to be worthy of offering therapy.Think over if you'd like remaining friends with this person, whom you describe as lacking integrity and stealing from you.If you need help getting back money from him, then contact the police and talk to a detective about what has happened so far.  The detective will advise according to the laws in your community and State, whether to file a police report, and what steps are necessary to utilize the Court system to get back your funds.If you'd like doing future patients who may be treated to similar ways by this therapist, a favor, go online and file a complaint with the therapist's Licensing Board.Good luck!

how do i prevent overtraining and burnout

listen to your body incorporate rest days prioritize sleep and include active recovery in your routine vary your workouts to prevent monotony and dont hesitate to take breaks when needed

how can individuals with the stress type reduce cortisol levels and manage fat

strategies include stress reduction techniques like meditation eliminating inflammatory foods increasing omega intake and engaging in highintensity interval training hiit

My fiancé and I have almost the best relationship every girl wants, but lately it's changed. I get less attention and little to no intercourse. He works a lot and goes to the gym a lot (he's a football player for an indoor league), but he has no time for me. We live two hours from family, and when I leave home to see family, he'll text me saying "whatever" and "leave me alone." But when we're together, everything is okay. No fighting or anything. I love this man, but I just don't know what to do anymore.

Hello, It doesn't feel good when it seems that your partner no longer cares or cares less for you, especially if your feelings have not changed. It can be scary, frustrating, and lonely. Have you tried talking to him about your concerns? I would suggest to start there. There may be several reasons for his actions, some of which may have nothing to do with how he feels for you. Learning about what is going on for him will likely answer your questions and, depending on his response, may cause some relief. When initiating conversations about subjects that are sensitive, there are a few things that you want to remember. Tell him how you are feeling and what you are experiencing, rather than blaming him or telling him what he is doing wrong. Avoid using extreme, black and white language (i.e. always and never). For example, you may say something such as, "I feel confused that we are rarely intimate and I'm wondering if you've also noticed this change" versus "You are never intimate with me anymore." Don't be afraid to ask him questions. You deserve to know what is going on, as his behavior is effecting your well being. I like to ask open-ended questions instead of yes and no questions. It allows for more clarity and deeper explanation. Lastly, ask yourself (and possibly him) what part you play in the recent changes. Does he feel that you've been distant? Does he need something from you? Let him know that you are willing to work things out as a team. If communication attempts fail, seeing a couple's therapist can be a great benefit. Having an objective party to coach you through this difficut time can give you the support that will create lasting changes in your relationship.Best of luck to you! 

I was the one who ended it, and I'm so glad I did. It was the best decision I made in my life. But how do I stop the nightmares and flashbacks? It is creating a wall in my current relationship.

Ending an abusive relationship is often very difficult, especially if you were very close initially without the presence of abuse.  If the abuse included verbal or psychological condemnation, you will often have a negative self-image that you may "know" is not true but often feels very true. This negative self-image and fear of being abused again can activate protections in you that were needed at the time you were abused but now create a "wall" in your current relationship.  The fact that you were able to end the relationship and know that you made the right decision is a great acknowledgement that you have solid internal resources to draw upon in healing from the abuse.  Good for you!Nightmares and flashbacks are a strong sign of memories, including associated beliefs, emotions, and physical sensations, that have remained unprocessed and therefore unhealed.  There are likely reminders (called triggers) of the past abuse that are being activated in your current relationship that are allowing these unhealed memories to come to the surface and affect both your sleep and your waking experiences.  This is certainly not something you are purposefully doing but is the result of what happened to you.  However, you likely feel as if you are not in control.    The goal is protect your current relationship, evaluate your self-image for flaws in beliefs and feelings, and begin working on healing your memories of abuse. In many cases, my use of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) would be helpful in reducing the emotional strength of your abuse memories, reduce or eliminate triggers, bring healing, and allow you to enjoy being in the present with your current relationship.  I would recommend discussing with your current partner your harmful past experiences, your decision to pursue counseling, and your strong desire to be healthy for your current relationship.  With a good support network in place, healing is very possible.

I can't seem to feel any emotion except anxiety, not even for myself.

Empathy is the ability to tap into our own experience to help us connect with others in order to be aware of how they are experiencing life.  It is a skill that we learn with practice and refine as we become mature. If you are feeling anxious, maybe you are able to understand better others who are going trough anxiety.  But I wonder if instead of feeling empathy, you may just want to find ways to reduce your anxiety.  A good idea is to be very aware of your anxiety triggers, and once you identify them explore other ways you could react. ¿Sera normal que no sienta empatía?Parece que no puedo experimentar ninguna otra emoción que no sea ansiedad, ni si quiera por mí misma. Empatía es la habilidad de usar tus propias experiencias para conectarte con otros y estar consciente de la manera que ellos experimentan la vida.  Es una destreza interpersonal que aprendemos y refinamos con la práctica y según maduramos como personas.  Si te estás sintiendo ansioso, tal vez puedas comprender mejor como otra persona experimenta momentos de ansiedad.  Pero me pregunto si en lugar de estar buscando sentir empatía, realmente quisieras reducir tus niveles de ansiedad.  Una buena manera es estar consciente que activa la ansiedad, y ya que lo identifiques, explora que otras reacciones pudieras tener.

He is always telling me our fights are only and all my fault, he bashes me to our young child, and he is addicted to a few substances.

Strengthen your own belief in your right to a decent life and respect of who you are.From the brief description you write, your husband has very limited capacity to recognize how others feel and even less capacity to empathize with the person.The best you can do is convince yourself of your own worth and associate with others who believe similarly about your qualities.

I am a heterosexual male in my late 20s. I find myself wearing pantyhose, heels, skirts and other women's clothing in private. I am torn on how to feel about it. I enjoy it very much. I have had a pantyhose/stocking fascination and other kinky fetish interests since I was young. I have no history of sexual abuse growing up. I am currently single.

Hi there! It sounds like you have already started to answer your own question by stating that you love cross dressing very much, and I am glad you enjoy it! Cross dressing is something many people enjoy, and there is no harm in it whatsoever. My question to you would be: What is making you feel torn about it? There is unfortunately still a lot of negative stigma associated with people who express their gender or sexuality in ways that differ from the majority. (And sometimes certain sexual interests are actually very common or even in the majority, but because people carry shame about being different when it comes to gender and sexuality we assume we are all alone!)Being a sexual or gender minority or someone who participates in kink or expresses their sexuality or gender identity in a unique and personal way often means suffering from something called "internalized oppression". We grow up being exposed to certain assumptions and beliefs about what is "acceptable" behavior and even face consequences sometimes if we don't "fit in" the way others tell us to. Even if those assumptions are harmful and wrong, we still internalize them and feel guilty about who we are. There is nothing wrong with us, but feeling stigmatized and isolated can lead to feelings of shame, embarrassment, or like something is "wrong" with us.But there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, so be proud of who you are and what you enjoy. You can continue to simply enjoy it privately, or maybe you'd eventually like to share it with a partner or maybe even join a community with similar interests. I'll leave you with a quote from comedian Eddie Izzard, who identifies as, in his own words, a "straight transvestite": "They’re not women’s clothes. They’re my clothes. I bought them!" Take care, and thanks for your question!

My therapist is gay so there are no sexual issues here. However, my therapist for six years has made me believe that he cares about me and that we are friends. I have loaned money to him many times, and he always paid me back. I had a medical emergency last weekend and I was heavily medicated. I knew that this therapist came into my home and wrote down my credit card information so he could pay back what he owed me, but this therapist dropped me off and never came again. I don't know what to do.

I'm sorry to hear that this has happened. Counselors are legally and ethically required to make sure that they always put the wellbeing of their clients above their own interests. In addition, counselor ethical rules, and the laws in just about every state, make it illegal for counselors to take advantage of a client financially. A counselor borrowing money from a client (even if the counselor pays it back) would usually be considered to be taking advantage of the client.There are a few options you have at this point if you can't (or don't want) to continue to try to contact him directly. You can file a complaint with your states' regulatory board and let them know what has happened.  An investigator will then look into the situation for you.  Another option would be for you to find a different counsleor who can provide you with an independent and netural point of view to help you figure out how you want to handle this situation.   

We just cannot seem to get along. I cannot have a conversation with her without it turning into World War 3. She treats me like I have no right to an opinion and never really lets me speak. My real mother cares and tries to help me, but she can't do much, because my adoptive mother won't listen to her either.

Going to see a experience counselor would be my advice.  You will have a neutral person that can listen to both sides and help you all find a common ground of understanding.  If she doesn't agree to counseling, really the only person you can change is you.  I would suggest that you approach her with love and let her know what you appreciate about her, let her know the great things she have done that could not be replaced or forgotten however you want your relationship to get better than it has been lately.  Hopefully this will open the door of communication where you can explain your thoughts and feeling but in a loving way.

how can i stay motivated during a weight loss journey

motivation can wane but remind yourself of your goals track progress celebrate milestones and surround yourself with a supportive community visualize your success and practice selfcompassion

Is it normal for people to cry during therapy, or is it just me?

Of course! There are some people who will never cry during sessions and some that always cry. In counseling you may be talking about very vulnerable topics and experiences and it may even be the first time you are talking to someone about your concerns, thoughts, or feelings. It is perfectly natural to cry if you are so moved.

im new to the gym and feeling overwhelmed where should i start

dont worry starting at the gym can be intimidating but its all about taking small steps begin with a simple fullbody workout routine that includes exercises like squats pushups and lunges consistency is key

Is this something I should be worried about? Should I do something about it?

The answer depends on how the other areas of your son's life are doing.Is he happy or does he seem happy, playing alone during recess?Does he have friends in other social circles besides the students whom he's with at recess?How is his academic progress?How is his social integration among his classmates?Are there any special or unusual circumstances in the home and family environment?Go through this list to form a fuller idea of whether your son simply likes alone time and takes this option during recess, or if any if the above areas show stress or difficulty for him and which need to be further understood and handled.

I keep feeling paralyzed and unsure during interviews. Previous jobs have fired me for lack of performance, and five employers have rejected me after extensive personality tests and interviews. I'm afraid of continuing because my depression is getting worse. I'm already humiliated working for temp agencies and doubt my self-worth as a provider for my family.

It sounds like you are feeling pretty overwhelmed and stuck between wanting to improve your work situation and worrying that you won't be able to. It is possible that the paralysis, uncertainty, and self-doubt that you describe are contributing to your difficulty in getting  and maintaining a satisfying job as employers generally like to see that a potential employee is confident and can think on his or her feet. With a competent therapist, you may be able to get more understanding of the roots of these feelings and learn how to move forward in your search for a better work life in a way that leaves you feeling confident and capable.

Over a year ago I had a female friend. She turned out to be kind of crazy so I decided to stop talking to her. When she would call me I wouldn't answer the phone. This made my girlfriend really suspicious. She would ask me why I wouldn't ever answer that phone number. I told my girlfriend that I don't want to be friends with that other woman, but I don't think she believes me. How can I get my girlfriend to understand?

Open and honest communication can go a long way in situations like yours. Your girlfriend may be suspicious if you don't give her enough information. Answer her questions fully. Ask for her suggestions as to how to handle this female friend. Ask for your girlfriend for help in getting the female friend to understand that you are not interested in continuing the friendship. If you are honest with your friend, your girlfriend will probably feel like you are being honest with her.

I’m a man, and I’m soon to be married. I have been messing around with other men on the side. It started as a once in a while thing, but it’s been happening a lot. I don't know what to do.

If you are happy with the person that you are about to be married to and are also enjoying time with other men, it could be possible that you are attracted to people of more than one gender.Having said that, some people have feelings toward people of more than one gender that are not really related to romance or attraction, but any number of other feelings, such as trust and communication. I don't know whether your use of the phrase "messing around" was related specifically to being romantically or sexually involved with the people who you are or referring to or if you are saying that you are enjoying spending time with them. These terms have different definitions for almost everyone.I would definitely recommend speaking with a local mental health practitioner in your area, not because there is anything wrong about the way you are feeling, but because there are a lot of different parts of what is happening in your life right now and it may be helpful to talk about the feelings and thoughts with someone who can help you to learn more about yourself and the people are most important in your life (yourself included).I also suggest looking at a few things that you love and appreciate about yourself.

tell be about degree jump squat

the degree jump squat is an explosive bodyweight exercise that targets the muscles of the lower body including the quads glutes and hamstrings as well as the cardiovascular system it can be performed for time or reps usually in a fatloss or athleticismfocused circuit workout

I have been falling into a deep depression where I can no function during the day and night. The only time I am at peace is when I’m asleep. If I am with friends, family, at work, and mainly alone, I cannot think straight. I no longer feel like myself.

It is common to go through a stage of adjustment after a breakup, which may include depression symptoms. I recommend practicing self-care:  stressing on balancing your life with healthy eating, exercise, resting and looking at your spiritual life.  These steps should assist you in giving your body and mind some balance.  Practice cognitive reframing, this is training your brain to refocus, and stay on task.  Meditation is a great tool to clear your mind during the day as well; there are multiple apps that help. If the problem persists a therapist could assist you in learning to focus and process those thoughts and feelings that cloud you mind.¿Cómo puedo manejar la depresión después de una separación?He estado cayendo en una depresión profunda que no me permite funcionar durante el día. El único memento en el que estoy en calma es cuando duermo.  Si estoy con mis amigos, familia, en el trabajo o a solas, no puedo pensar claramente. Ya no me siento como yo.Es común pasar por un estado de ajuste después de una separación, y este ajuste puede incluir síntomas de depresión.  Recomiendo que practiques auto compasión: esforzarte en balancear tu vida comiendo saludable, ejercitándote, descansando y analizando tu vida espiritual.  Estos pasos te ayudarán a balancear tu mente y cuerpo.  También puedes practicar reenfocar tus pensamientos para mantener tu mente clara. La meditación es una buena manera de practicar el enfoque mental, y existen muchas aplicaciones que te pueden ayudar.  Si el problema persiste tu consejero te puede ayudar a aprender técnicas de enfoque a procesar pensamientos  o sentimientos que te estén afectando. 

I get angry and act out. It scares my wife and child.

Anger is a normal emotion, no different than joy, elation, or sadness. It's not anger that gets us in trouble it's the overtness of the emotion or how we allow it to manifest that gets us in trouble. Being able to control your temper depends on several variables: how you saw anger acted out as a child in terms of your primary caregivers and what you internalized as being normal in terms of managing conflict, and your communication style regarding how you confront problematic situations. There are some whose anger takes on a volcano effect whereby they don't readily address problematic situations but rather they continue to stuff their emotion until the right trigger causes them them to explode, and then there are those who are very impulsive in terms of how they react to stressful situations, they don't take time to think out situations or to make sense of them, they just impulsively respond. I would encourage you to seek anger management from a therapist who utilizes a Cognitive Behavioral approach in order that you may explore how your irrational thinking related to certain situations may be influencing your problematic behavior. In addition, I would encourage you to engage in activities that promote stress reduction if your blowups are indeed related to being overly stressed. The first step is recognizing that you have a problem that you need help in understanding and addressing, which you have, now take the next step in finding a therapist in order that you may learn to control your temper and undo some faulty wiring that may be related to how you process emotion, and communicate that you're angry. Remember, anger is the overt expression of some other emotion (i.e., disappointment, hurt, frustration, etc..) Hope this helps...

how can i prioritize my own selfcare while still fulfilling my responsibilities as a caregiver or a parent

create a schedule divide your day into achievable chunks and allot specific amounts of time for work selfcare and family time take meaningful breaks taking breaks throughout your day can improve your productivity but also provide an important mental and physical reset accept help from others lean on family and friends to offer support where needed and allow yourself to let go of control and receive help gracefully prioritize sleep getting hours of uninterrupted sleep can significantly improve your energy and focus which is necessary when caring for others

what are the potential benefits of practicing mindfulness or meditation and how can i incorporate them into my daily life

the potential benefits of practicing mindfulness or meditation are numerous mindfulness and meditation can reduce stress improve focus and attention help to manage difficult emotions such as anger or anxiety and improve physical and mental wellbeing you can incorporate mindfulness and meditation into your daily life in a variety of ways one way is to practice mindful breathing you can practice mindful breathing by finding a comfortable place to sit closing your eyes and focusing on the feeling of your breathing as it enters and leaves your body you can also practice mindful walking which involves focusing on the experience of each step and the sensation of your feet meeting

It's been like a couple of years that I've been feeling like this. I don't want to self-diagnose, but I get so sad and cry and then I feel better. But then I get upset with people so quickly, and I hurt their feelings. It's this constant rollercoaster, and it's hard.

Hello, and thank you for your question. Bipolar disorder is generally characterized by extreme changes in mood, ranging from mania (highs) to depression (lows). There are different types; however, so here is a website that gives you a list of symptoms for mania and depression in bipolar disorder: http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/bipolar-disorder-manic-depression?page=2After reviewing these symptoms, if you believe you may have bipolar disorder, then you may want to see your primary care provider or a counselor. Bipolar disorder is treatable, but for many people it requires the right medication and sometimes counseling to help people make behavior changes that are important for bipolar management. For example, some people may not get regular sleep, but proper rest is important for bipolar management. A counselor may talk to you about this and other lifestyle changes that you may need to make. The good news is that many people live happy, healthy, and productive lives with bipolar disorder. So, if it turns out that you do have bipolar disorder, it doesn't mean that things can't get better. There is currently no "cure" for bipolar disorder, but with proper medication and lifestyle management, people can do quite well.Hope this was helpful. Be well.Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC

I feel angry, anxious, and depressed. The PTSD I suffer is from a past relationship.

If the symptoms are to the extent that they are affecting your ability to function, you may want to consider seeking treatment. PTSD, anxiety, and depression all typically respond well to treatment if provided by a trained clinician. Common types of treatment for PTSD that you may want to look into include Cognitive Processing Therapy or EMDR. The nice things about Cognitive Processing Therapy is that it is time limited and only lasts 17 sessions typically.

How does a person start the counseling process?

I'd recommend looking on psychologtoday.com, reading the bio's of potential therapists who you think you would relate best with, then contact them through e-mail or on the phone.

I don't know how to tell someone how I feel about them. How can I get better at expressing how I feel?

"Practice makes perfect"!Simply by expressing yourself and listening to if others listen and understand you, then modifying your next try with whatever improvements you think of based on the impressions you feel others have of you, will progress your self-expression.Also, one way to lessen the tension before speaking to someone is to tell them you feel unsure on how best to express yourself.  This way you've prepared them to be patient with whatever words you do state.

tell be about seated calf raise

the machine seated calf raise is an exercise targeting the calf muscles of the lower leg particularly the soleus muscle it is usually performed for moderate to high reps such as reps per set and occasionally for very high burnoutfocused sets of total reps

My mother has Alzheimer's and I can see that she has lost some of her intellectual abilities. Even though I know this disease is not her fault, I’m still finding it difficult to separate my own feelings of disappointment and frustration when my mom seems to ignore my opinions and wishes, and seems

There are many conflicting emotions and tasks that arise when one becomes a caretaker for their parent. Expressing positive emotions to her (i.e. "Mom, I love and care for you, and enjoy our time together. I'm sorry I can't stay long"( may help re-frame your thoughts and have a fresh perspective on the situation. Additionally, Visual cues like pictures and notes can also be helpful for those who suffer from disorders like Alzheimer's and Dementia, as it offers a "Trigger" for memory, helping to ease the doors to communication. Finding support in other family members, or a therapist familiar with elder care issues may be helpful as well.

I am in my early 20s and I still live with my parents because I can't afford to live alone. My mother says that if I live under her roof I have to follow her rules. She is trying to control my life. What should I do?

Hello. Even though legally you are an adult, it is a matter of courtesy to respect the homes of your parents. As long as you live there, you should be considerate of their needs. At the same time, there should be conversation about what each of you considers appropriate as it pertains to communication between a parent and an adult (even though you are still her offspring). This will require openness, honesty, and a willingness to give from both sides in a respectful way. Healthy boundaries can be established and honored when each is willing to do their part in this new relationship. Your mother knows you are an adult, but has not had as many years of treating you like one. So mentally and emotionally this will take some time for her to adapt. Share your concerns with her, and see if you can come up with a set of rules that you both can honor. It will be a great stepping stone for both of you as you move into this new chapter together as you begin relating a little differently.Reach out for help to a counselor if needed. You don't have to sort this out on your own. And lastly, take good care of yourself in the process. You are moving through some exciting times in your life. The more you can have support as you explore new events, the better you might feel less stressed.Warm regards.

We’ve been together almost three years. We argue and he ends it by telling me he doesn’t love me. It's hurtful because I am all about resolving the problem, and he dwells on the issue even if I drop what he's done and just swallow my pride and say I am sorry. How can this be resolved? We have kids, and I don't want a broken family because we can't communicate.

Communication involves a listener and a speaker.  Both have to be willing to do their part to make communication work.  This is something that takes both and not just one.  Without both, communication is impossible.   Staying together and the kids observing unhealthy communication is already broken.  Seek help to improve communication.    Couples' counseling would be helpful.

I am on the track and softball team. My school is small, so I play all four sports it offers. I feel obligated to do track because I'm not a horrible runner, and my dad wants me to. The catch is is that the days before a track meet and the morning of, I get sick and cry.

It sounds like you are no longer committed to track emotionally.  It can be hard to talk to your dad about this, but he may think you love track and may not know you are getting so upset the days of meets.  An idea would be to first write a letter to your dad to see what feelings come out and then preparing to speak with him.  I think he will appreciate your honesty and maybe this conversation will bring you relief and also time to find something you really will enjoy.

tell be about leg pullin

the reverse crunch is a popular exercise targeting the abdominals particularly the lower half its easy to perform on either the floor or a flat bench many lifters think of this as a companion to the crunch which targets the upper abdominals more than the lower

My fiancé and I have almost the best relationship every girl wants, but lately it's changed. I get less attention and little to no intercourse. He works a lot and goes to the gym a lot (he's a football player for an indoor league), but he has no time for me. We live two hours from family, and when I leave home to see family, he'll text me saying "whatever" and "leave me alone." But when we're together, everything is okay. No fighting or anything. I love this man, but I just don't know what to do anymore.

Hi Rockford, While no relationship is "perfect", and it's natural for the passionate beginnings of a relationship to lessen with time, because we have established the trust and love needed as a foundation and we don't have to smother each other with attention anymore, your situation sounds like something different. "He has no time for me"... yet you don't fight. Hmmm...Is it that you don't fight because you don't bring up what's bothering you? Are you avoiding conflict? Many people do. What do you fear would happen if you let him know how you feel about his recent pulling away? As an engaged couple, now is a really good time to see what happens when you bring a concern to your fiance. Better to find out now what happens when you rock the boat by being real. Or maybe you have spoken to him about it. If so, what happens? Does he listen and help you understand him better? Or does he avoid and reassure you...or maybe dismiss you? This is really important data to gather about how your fiance handles conflict and how you work together. He says "leave me alone". That's a pretty bold statement about what he wants. He doesn't seem to have the same idea that you do about what marriage is, and how close you want to be. Plus, I have to say, those words sound more like what a closed-off fourteen year old would say to a parent than a loving fiance to his bride to be! Giving him the benefit of the doubt, it could be that your fiance is scared about getting married and this is a temporary reaction that will change. But if this is true, he needs to tell you that so you can understand. So, I suggest that the fact that when you're together you're "okay" is perhaps not the best barometer for how you're doing as a couple. Listen to your gut. I encourage you to be really open with your fiance about what your feelings and fears are. This may get rockier before it gets better, but until you face what's not working, you won't know who you truly are as a couple.  When you're engaged, it's a really cool time to see a therapist too...to get some conflict resolution skills down before you're a married couple.

My husband’s ex-wife married a man who was charged with seven felony counts of pandering involving a minor. He, by his own admission, is addicted to child pornography. My step-daughters are now all teenagers. They do not know. My husband’s ex-wife has kept this information from my step-daughters. The step-father has had issues regarding his pornography addiction recently. The ex-wife minimizes it by saying that he has "repented." It is a constant strain on my husband, knowing that his girls are living with a man who is addicted to child pornography. My own therapist believes the girls should be told. The ex-wife says her therapist says the opposite.

Lorain, you're correct that your husband's ex-wife is (seriously) minimizing this problem. I have a very strong opinion here. In my book, the safety of children trumps potentially insulting or hurting the feelings of adults. Of course the girls should be told, because they have the right to know. Their voice is not the only one I'm concerned about here though. I believe your husband has the right to insist that his daughters be in a safe home, and there is clear evidence this man is not safe. This woman is putting her own comfort (she simply doesn't want to deal with her partner's situation, her own fears, or anyone else's needs) above the safety of two vulnerable girls. Honestly, if it was me, my kids wouldn't be even visiting that home with that man present, "repented" or not. It's not worth the risk. If she decides to stay with him, the natural consequence of having a known perpetrator in your home is not having access to vulnerable children in that same home.

tell be about exercise ball leg curl

the exercise ball leg curl is an exercise targeting the hamstrings in particular it targets the knee flexion function of the hamstrings as opposed to deadlift variations which target the other hamstring function hip flexion many lifters opt for this exercise when they dont have access to a lying leg curl machine but it is worth considering even if you already do machine curls

I have so many issues to address. I have a history of sexual abuse, I’m a breast cancer survivor and I am a lifetime insomniac. I have a long history of depression and I’m beginning to have anxiety. I have low self esteem but I’ve been happily married for almost 35 years. I’ve never had counseling about any of this. Do I have too many issues to address in counseling?

Absolutely not. It sounds like you have significant trauma and it will continue to impact your depression until it is dealt with. Everybody has issues, though some more traumatic than others yet it is best to just start somewhere. I would encourage you to begin counseling and work through some of your history at your own pace in order to begin to impact and reduce your depressive symptoms.

For the past four weeks, I've been having nightmares and hearing voices telling me of horrible things. They're not random voices, but rather, the voices of those I care about.

Write down your nightmares and discuss them with an analyst or psychotherapist who specializes in dreams, as I do. If you are hearing voices while awake, see a doctor right away.  If the voices are strictly in your dreams, do call for therapy and talk to your caring others about what's happening.

Sometimes 3 times a night.

That's a difficult question to answer. Dreaming is a normal (and healthy) part of the sleep cycle. The current thought is that we all generally experience roughly the same number of dreams - the difference often is just whether we remember the dreams or not.An increase in the number or frequency of distressing dreams (or nightmares) can be a symptom of stress, anxiety, or PTSD.  If the dreams are disturbing to you, talking to a local counselor could help. If the dreams themselves are not troubling, you may just be remembering them more than most people do.

did you experience muscle soreness despite sticking to the same workout routine for years

surprisingly i didnt experience much muscle soreness even though i trained consistently from a young age by the time i reached my thirties soreness wasnt much of an issue for me anymore

tell be about lying rear delt fly

the lying rear delt fly is an upperbody exercise that targets the rear deltoid of the shoulder by performing the movement lying face down on a bench it eliminates momentum from the rest of the body this movement is usually performed for moderate to high reps such as reps per set or more as part of the upperbody or shoulderfocused portion of a workout

I feel like I am internally screaming all the time. Externally, I am calm, but I have this intense, unidentifiable emotion constantly. I don't feel sad. I don't cry a lot. I feel rather emotionally distant other than the internal screaming. It kind of feels like I'm a caged animal.

As far as the formal diagnosis of depression goes, it would be hard to determine without more information. It sounds like you are noticing that there is a significant difference between how you are feeling on the inside and how you express yourself outwardly. Part of you is quite distressed and yet it remains invisible to the outside world, almost as if it is trapped inside of your body. Many people who are depressed experience such things as intrusive thoughts, emotional numbness, difficulty expressing themselves, and bodily tension (caged animal?). In working with a competent therapist, you may be able to get more insight into what you are going through, the nature of the disconnect between you inner feelings and outer expression, and eventually gain relief from the distress as well as a greater sense of connection with yourself and personal freedom.

how can i improve flexibility i can barely touch my toes

flexibility improves with consistency dynamic stretches before workouts and static stretches after help try yoga or pilates breathe deeply and be patient over time flexibility will increase

I have been having horrendous nightmares this whole month.

There's a narrative approach that we call nightmare "rescripting" that may be helpful.Since we can't really control the nature of our dreams while they're happening, we try to alter them while we are in a waking state.  In a nutshell, this refers to first writing out in detail the events of a recurring nightmare you have. Typically, there is an element of fear, danger or helplessness.Second, we rescript the nightmare by changing what happens in the dream in a way that engenders feelings of empowerment, control, competence, and/or safety. In other words, if the nightmare involved being pursued or assaulted, we might change the events of the story so that you call the police, get to a place of safety, or even fight back and protect yourself.Third, you can reread this new version of the dream over and over again, so that it becomes a well rehearsed story. The effect of this can make it so that the next time your mind goes towards the nightmare while sleeping, this new, more hopeful and empowering story competes with the old one and reduces the level of distress associated with the dream. Best of luck!

I was the one who ended it, and I'm so glad I did. It was the best decision I made in my life. But how do I stop the nightmares and flashbacks? It is creating a wall in my current relationship.

One thing you could try to do on your own is to focus on the partner who is in front of you now. If you are able to connect with them via touch or focusing on their tone of voice, that may help to center you. Tried to stay grounded and/or mindful. That is being aware of your position in the room, your feet on the floor, your hands in your lap, or your hips in the chair. Being mindful of the environment you are currently (for example, noticing what is around you) may be helpful. Try to use all your senses. For example, you could focus on hearing your husband's voice, feeling his hand in yours, being wrapped in your favorite blanket, seeing a comforting photo, using a comforting sense or candle, or tasting an apple that reminds you of times when you have enjoyed yourself in the kitchen.It also sounds like you are having a very specific reaction that could very well be related to trauma. I would recommend that you talk with a local mental health professional.Remember, just because it was the best decision of your life, that doesn't mean that what happened to you or in your presence automatically leaves you when you leave the relationship. Our brain is actually hardwired to remember things that have caused us pain or great emotional distress as a way of protecting us from them happening again. This is a very natural response and the reactions you have as far as nightmares and flashbacks are the past coming forward and your brain trying to make sense of it all.

My grandma had a stroke and passed away recently. I lost my home and job. I'm looking but haven't found a job. I've been binge watching television and binge eating.

Hello!I write to respond to your recent inquiry for possible increase in self-esteem and positive behavioral change regarding motivation for a new job. First of all, please try to allow yourself some time for grief of the loss of your dear grandmother. It appears you were close to her in many ways and she had a great influence in your life. The grief process of anger, denial, despair and acceptance may be a part of what is keeping you feeling "stuck" in a cycle of not feeling motivated to find work at this time.  Perhaps your mind is constantly fighting this grief? Death can be a "traumatic" experience for some people and is considered a great loss, thus the grief process may continue to be a part of your world for a time but hopefully not keep you "stuck" on a long-term basis.  I would try to reach out to a counselor to discuss this grief process at a deeper level to discern whether her death is part of why you feel this way.  Grief and loss can also have an effect on your self-esteem.  Can you begin to see how this cycle is what you may be experiencing? One positive I see is that you are continuing to look for a new job!  Take time to give yourself some credit for the  time you are spending looking for work.  Also, I would recommend you set some short-term goals first for example, make a list of 5-10 potential new employers and send them each your resume. Then followup the next week with an email or phone call to make sure the hiring manager or human resources received your resume and have any questions.  It is also a good idea to ask for "informational interviews" in order to get your foot in the door, so to speak.I hope that this information is helpful to you!  Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns.Warmly,Denise

I get really mad easily at my parents and family.

Anger is not necessarily a bad thing. If you are angry and you can talk about your feelings, that would be very helpful. Anger usually comes along with something else, like feeling sad, worried, overwhelmed, confused, and many others. Consider looking at what you notice in addition to anger and you may have a different starting point. If you get along well with friends and don't get angry with them, look at the differences. Do you feel criticized by your parents or family? Misunderstood? There could be any number of things.I wonder if you start getting angry very slowly and it builds or if it happens quickly. Try to keep an eye on the patterns and see if you can stop and look at what else is going on as you start to get angry. Anger is a real emotion in itself. It almost always connects to something else as well.

I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky. Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?

What you are experiencing is extremely normal. Opening up to someone you don't know from a can of paint can elicit some uncomfortable feelings and make you feel shaky. With time and building trust with your therapist, you will eventually start feeling less apprehensive before sessions. Consider bringing this up to your therapist as you both can process this experience together and figure out ways of coping with this anxiety before you come into the therapy room.

I'm having relationship problems and I want to fix them to make things right before I lose her. How can I learn how to listen and get myself together?

What an important question, and the fact that you're asking it is a big step in the right direction. To answer in detail would require having quite a bit more information about what "relationship problems" have occurred  that woke you up to the fact that you're not listening as well as you could and that you're running the risk of losing her.Given that I don't have all that information, I'll offer one simple suggestion. Your girlfriend is the expert on what she needs and wants in relationship. You could simply say to her that you know you still have a lot to learn about how to have a good relationship and you realize you're not yet understanding what she needs and you really want to. Then take a deep breath, settle down, and listen. Don't argue, don't interrupt, don't judge... listen. Let her know what you understand and that you're open to hearing more, learning more if you're not quite getting it yet... and then listen some more. Be present and curious about this person you love dearly and don't want to lose. This is the first step toward intimacy.

My grandma and brother both passed away 11 years ago and sometimes at night I just can't stop crying while thinking about the good memories we had but won't have ever again. I can't sleep at night when the memories and tears come I'll be fine all day then at night...boom! it's like waterfalls from my eyes. Why can't I stop crying?

Because you're sad and miss the relationship you had w grandma and your brother.The academic point that grief takes a different length of time to lift for each person, is true.Also, from a spiritual perspective, your grandma and brother are still here in loving relation to you, just not in physical body.  Pay attention if you have a sense of talking to them within your mind.  This may lessen your feeling of loss.When you're done crying about missing them, your grief will simply disappear on its own!  It cannot be forced to leave.

I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it. What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts?

We all suffer from random thoughts from time to time. Being able to manage your thoughts and choose what to think about yourself is something you would learn in  counseling. An effective treatment modality for this situation is cognitive behavioral therapy.

How does a counselor decide when to end counseling sessions or to terminate working with a client?

Hello. The end of the counselor/client relationship is one of mutual respect and engagement. Counseling sessions can end for any number of reasons. Among them are the client's inability to make forward progress in therapy; the clinician's inability to help the client (for a variety of reasons); a mutually agreed upon time frame for a number of sessions to be provided; or the financial challenges of the client who decides that they need to put their resources elsewhere. In this last case, a counselor should never cancel sessions with a client simply on the basis of the client's inability to pay. That is traditionally seen as an unethical practice. Other arrangements can be made to provide care to the client, which in itself should be paramount.When the client and therapist decide that services are done, it is best if there is at least one or two more sessions to allow a case file review to occur, and to bring an appropriate psychological sense of closure to the client (and vicariously to the clinician as well, those this is perhaps not as important). This transition gives both a sense of having reached the end of a journey...rather than some abrupt departure from it. (An abrupt ending in therapy can have a varying level of impact both emotionally and psychologically on the client and therapist). Sometimes the closure of therapy is the result of a program of therapy being formally completed, in which there is a mutually known (albeit perhaps approximate) date of when that program will be finished. In this case, the client is likely feeling that impending closure and has time to prepare mentally and emotionally from a place of being the client in therapy, to a place of healing, growth and situational resolution.I have always worked in therapy with the following slogan (if you will), that I learned years ago during graduate school: "Not every therapist is good for every client, and not every client is good for every therapist." It is perhaps one of the most important guiding views I hold in working with clients. The therapeutic relationship is driven by mutuality - the desire of the client to get better at living life, and the therapist's desire to truly see the client heal and grow. When there is a block in this process from either side that prevents that synergy from occurring, the relationship that should be established may not be able to form. Or, if already formed, may at some point be unable to move forward. In these instances, referring the client to another type of service or clinician is appropriate. Usually, this can be seen pretty quickly by either party, though sometimes it is not always clear.Ultimately, the client and counselor need to work together to discover if the needs of the client (which is paramount) are being met in the therapeutic engagement with their current counselor, or if other arrangements need to be made to go elsewhere. If both are observant in this process, they can work together to maintain that sacred space and continue to reach the goals that have been set. Eventually, therapy will end, but hopefully based on the client's successful journey to the place where they wanted to go, and thus opening the next chapters of their life to a space that is more whole and brighter.

I am on my own with my daughter. I am so worried and stressed about her.

Your instinct to help your daughter, is natural.How you proceed depends a lot on whether she recognizes she has a psychological and emotional problem, or if only you see this from observing her.Also, her age matters a lot in what way would be most likely to succeed in addressing the problems you describe.If you and your daughter have different opinions as to whether or not she has problems, and she is above the legal age of when you have authority over her life, then you can only suggest to her that therapy may benefit her.If your daughter is in your legal control, then you can locate a counselor nearby, discuss your situation with that person, and depending on the outcome, you'd be within your parenting right to take your daughter to a counselor.Starting therapy without willingness to do so, is risky.  The person may feel resentful enough to not participate.   And, sometimes the counselor is skillful enough to find a path to your daughter, or any patient's self-interest and engage them in therapy.Family counseling, regardless of your daughter's age, is another way to bring your concerns to your daughter's attention, in a therapy environment in which a counselor would be able to help distinguish the seriousness of your daughter's psychological problem, from simply a difference in viewpoints between you and your daughter, in how to handle certain situations.Also, if you believe your daughter is a threat to herself, then instead of this slower route, get in touch with the emergency psychological assessment service in your town, for a more immediate response.

I have anxieties about everyday stressors, i.e. finances, work, relationships, kids, and maintaining a household.

Something to remember about anxiety is that it's a useful and necessary response to stressors, and we all have a level of anxiety that falls somewhere on the spectrum from very slight to very overwhelming. Anxiety is our brain's way of prompting us to deal with the stress in our lives by getting us geared up for action. Some helpful ways of managing anxiety are actually very simple. The first I'd recommend is a calm breathing technique - breathe in for 4-5 seconds, and then out for 7-8 seconds. Try to repeat this for 3-5 minutes. Another suggestion is to pay closer attention in the moments you feel the physical symptoms of anxiety and see if you can describe - without judging - the sensations to yourself. Try to be very specific, such as "my palms are feeling very sweaty, and I can feel the slight tightness and fluttering in my belly of the butterflies." Then try to sit with these sensations without deciding if they are good or bad - just experiencing them as intentionally as possible.  Combining the calm breathing with this technique can also be very helpful. If you feel that these techniques don't help and your anxiety about everyday stressors are inhibiting you from being able to engage in life the way you want to, then I'd highly recommend going for an assessment or even just consultation with a professional. This professional can help you determine if therapy/counseling would be helpful for you to develop additional skills for managing those interfering anxiety symptoms.

what are some strategies for maintaining a healthy relationship with food and avoiding unhealthy eating habits

eat regular meals at regular times and have healthy snacks readily available eat slowly and enjoy your meals choose healthy foods that are high in vitamins minerals and fiber avoid labeling foods as good or bad dont skip meals listen to your body and know when its time to stop eating avoid dieting and be aware of diet culture respect and be mindful of how food makes you feel

How do you know you have the right therapist for you? How would I know how to "train" my therapist to be able to give me what I need from treatment?

If you are seeking personal development and challenge resolution in a Christian context, I am the right counselor for you. I will balance the needs of your temperament with scripture, prayer, and cognitive therapy techniques.

I am a really shy person. I'm currently in a graduate program which requires lots of presentations, but they always make me feel stressed out and less confident. How can I get more confident?

Wow, congratulations on being in a masters program. You are in a unique place. So few have reached that level. You should give yourself a pat on the back.Confidence is not something that comes naturally. But can and does come with practice.Having gone through two masters programs I can sympathize with your your dilemma. So how is the stress affecting you?Is it serious enough to stop you from presenting or is it just "butterflies"?There are many ways of dealing with the anxiety and stress. Much depends on how serious the stress is.So here are a few ideas:1. Practice in front of a mirror.Sounds strange but the practice helps.2. Ask some friends to listen to your presentations. Not so much for their input as to just get used to presenting.3. Focus on the material you are presenting. The subject matter is what you want to get across. Step away from your nerves and get into the facts you want to present. Let the material you present be the focus. 4. Remember everyone else is just as nervous as you. Share your fears with some of your classmates and gain support from them. Focus on a friendly face during the presentation. Be a support to them in return.5. "Fake it, till you make it". Yes it sounds blunt. But sometimes that's what it takes. Even if you feel like it, you won't die.So much more can be discussed with a competent counselor. Take the time to let a professional help you work through this.Again you have come a long way to be in a graduate program. Congratulations you have done great work so far. It's just one step at a time, take the steps.

I went to my ex-boyfriend to reach out to one of his high school friends who's attempted to commit suicide. When I went to him to reach out to his high school friend, he told me that I put him in a terrible position and put an enormous load on his shoulders. He was very angry that I went to him to do that. Am I in the wrong for going to him to reach out? He helped me so much with my depression and bad habits, so that's why I thought of him to reach out. He made me feel awful for thinking highly of him to help. Why did he react this way towards me? I think he's being selfish.

I'm glad you think so highly of your boyfriend and his ability to be there when you would like to talk about things that are important to you.I see why you would want them to reach out. I also wonder about how close he was with his friend and what he thought you meant when you asked him to reach out. It sounds as if he is thinking that doing so would mean that he is responsible for his friend's well-being, although I can't say that for certain.Would you be willing to have a discussion with your boyfriend where for a few minutes (five minutes or so), you ask him about what made him react that way? During this time, try to listen and ask questions is if you are an investigative reporter and are trying to learn more about his experience. You can also summarize what you are hearing to make sure that you understand it as he does. This does not mean that you have to agree with what you say, but just that you follow. I hear you saying that you think he's being selfish. I'm suggesting that just during this conversation, you ask questions to focus on what he is thinking and feeling. In one sentence, the goal would be to learn more about his experience.I would not be at all surprised if he is scared.Are you aware of what kind of support he wants through this time?

what are some practical tips for maintaining a healthy and wellbalanced diet while traveling or eating out

choose restaurant wisely look for healthier options that are low in sugar sodium and saturated fats train your taste buds start replacing processed foods and snacks with healthier alternatives that contain more fiber protein and essential vitamins keep healthy snacks on hand having a few healthy snacks with you at all times while traveling or eating out can help keep your hunger in check and ensure you dont overindulge stay hydrated drink plenty of water throughout the day and soda and sugary drinks should be avoided as much as possible

tell be about double kettlebell push press

the doublekettlebell pushpress is a popular kettlebell movement that involves performing a press with help from the muscles of the lower body it is preceded by a double clean at the start of each set and optionally you can perform a clean between each rep it can be trained in traditional strength or musclebuilding rep ranges in circuit or fatloss training or as part of a larger kettlebell combination or complex

I'm 15 and my girlfriend is 14. Am I a pedophile because I'm attracted to her and she's under 18?

You are not a pedophile. You are both under 18 and your age is appropriate for a relationship. There would be a possible problem if she was 10 or younger. Pedophelia, is a whole other problem that you probably should not be worried about. I would be happy to talk with you in more detail about this.

how can individuals maintain a healthy relationship with food and exercise while pursuing fat loss goals

emphasizing balance flexibility and selfcompassion in dietary choices and exercise routines can promote a positive mindset and sustainable habits for longterm fat loss and overall wellbeing

I am married to a beautiful lady. I love my wife with all my heart. We have 3 boys and I have a daughter from a previous marriage. We also have 3 grandchildren. Now this event is tearing us apart. I want our family to be together and happy. It was a mistake from so long ago. My wife wants to leave and I don't want that to happen I love her so much. Please help me save my marriage. Even my 3 boys want us to work it out. They love us both and want our family together. Please give me some advice or hope. Sincerely heart broken.

If your wife is willing, seek out a qualified couples therapist! Look for one trained in the Gottman Method or Emotionally Focused Therapy. Your relationship is repairable, but you may need some qualified support in the process.

tell be about singlearm kettlebell swing

the singlearm kettlebell swing is a popular exercise emphasizing the muscles of the hamstrings glutes and back because you are only swinging with one arm at a time it is also uniquely challenging to the grip and core muscles it is often used to train explosive power for aerobic or cardiovascular conditioning or in circuit training

I think I have depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and I have anger issues. I told my mom over and over again. She told me she would get me a therapist, but she never did. I just found out that my mom can't afford a therapist for me.

It can be difficult to get counseling if you don't feel supported by family members.  There might be a few options.  If you are in school, I'd recommend talking to a school counselor or school nurse.  They often will be able to help you access free or affordable counseling resources in your community.  In addition, depending on where you live, it's also often possible to call 211 for referrals to free or low cost counseling services in your area.I'd encourage you not to give up. You are on the right track.

How do you know you have the right therapist for you? How would I know how to "train" my therapist to be able to give me what I need from treatment?

The most important agent of change in therapy is your relationship with your therapist. It is so important for you to find a therapist that you trust and feel comfortable enough to just lay everything out there and be vulnerable with. Therapy is really building a safe and healthy relationship with a professional that can then help guide you in some of the most intimate and emotional parts of your life. This relationship does take time to build, but usually you can get a sense of a therapist's personality and approach from their bio and website. Once you have found someone that you think you could really connect with, then it's about looking at do they have the expertise you need. Do they have training in relationship counseling or in working with anxiety, depression, or trauma? It is important to find an expert in the field so you are getting the best care possible...just like if you were to go to a general family doctor versus a specialist. I hope that is helpful!

She said she needed space after three days of dating, and she got a boyfriend a week later. I still really miss her, and she told me she still likes me.

It sounds as if your ex-girlfriend is trying to figure out what type of relationship she is looking to have with you. There are lots of levels of relationships, from a basic acquaintance, to a more friendly acquaintance, to a friend, close friend, best friend, early romantic partner, committed romantic partner, and many more.If she is willing to have a conversation with you about her feelings, it may be helpful to have her explain her feelings to you while listening as an investigative reporter and asking questions that cannot be answered with yes or no, but are what are called open-ended questions, which ask her to provide more information. During this process, it would be helpful for you to try to think of it as not being personal, but just listening and trying to understand the experience from her perspective. After you have done this for five minutes (it's a rough estimate, but basically until you can restate what she is saying and she says you have it right), you can switch so she is asking you questions about how you are feeling. The goal is not necessarily to change the outcome, but to learn more about yourselves and each other.Then you may have an idea of where you stand in each other's eyes.

tell be about dumbbell flyes

the dumbbell chest fly is a popular exercise that targets the pectoral or chest muscles it attempts to isolate the chest muscles stretching and contracting them while limiting involvement of the shoulders unlike a press where the elbows bend and flex flyes should keep a relatively consistent elbow angle the motion is sometimes compared to hugging a tree dumbbell flyes are usually performed for moderate to high reps such as reps per set or more as part of a chest or upperbody focused workout

I have so many issues to address. I have a history of sexual abuse, I’m a breast cancer survivor and I am a lifetime insomniac. I have a long history of depression and I’m beginning to have anxiety. I have low self esteem but I’ve been happily married for almost 35 years. I’ve never had counseling about any of this. Do I have too many issues to address in counseling?

A person never has "too many" issues to address in counseling. Participating in counseling with a licensed professional offers a safe place and therapeutic relationship where healing can occur. A trained therapist can help a person unpack and process past and/or current wounds (or events) which may  negatively impact day to day living. They can also help make sense of thoughts and emotions that sometimes feel overwhelming and confusing.  If you want to experience more emotional freedom and gain some tools to help understand and cope with depression and anxiety, I'd encourage you to schedule an appointment with a therapist in your area.

tell be about singlearm dumbbell preacher curl

the singlearm dumbbell preacher curl is an exercise that focuses on building the biceps particularly the biceps peak most people will go light on this movement performing it for moderate to high reps as part of an upperbody or armsfocused workout

how can i develop a consistent exercise routine and stay motivated to achieve my fitness goals

set realistic and achievable goals break your goals down into manageable and measurable results this will help keep you focused and motivated find an enjoyable form of exercise if you dont enjoy your workout routine you wont stick to it for very long schedule your workouts put exercise on your calender and try to stick to it as best as you can keep track of your progress this will keep you motivated and help you monitor your success reward yourself this reinforces a positive association with exercise and can keep you motivated and positive

I'm having relationship problems and I want to fix them to make things right before I lose her. How can I learn how to listen and get myself together?

The first step for making this sort of change is being motivated to change and it sounds like you have that, so you are already on the right track.As far as learning how to listen, try some of these steps:Ask whether a certain time is a good time for your girlfriend to have an important conversationIf she has a subject that she would like to discuss, consider listening to her as an investigative reporter and asking questions that help you to gain more understanding of her experience. These questions usually begin with words like who, what, where, when. Questions starting with the word why can sometimes make people very uncomfortable because they may not explicitly know why they are asking for something or feeling a certain way. You can try communicating this way for just five minutes or so on until you feel as though you can restate what your girlfriend is saying and have her agree that you are recapturing the essence of what she is trying to communicateThen you can switch so she is listening to you trying to understand your experience. You could also start by talking about something that is important to you.Remember that stating that you follow or hear something that she is saying doesn't mean that you agreeAlso, try sticking to one subject at a time. It's difficult to really understand one topic if you are on to the next within just a minute or twoTry to use the word want or wish instead of need. Saying that you need something (or if your girlfriend would say that) that is not a need for safety or something like that can make whatever you are asking for sound like an obligation. That takes away from that whole motivation to change from inside the partner who is agreeing to change or try to changeSomething else to try would be using some sort of timeout. Consider this:Discuss the idea of using timeout before you actually need it and before the discussion starts. Timeout is a way to give each of you a way to calm down for five, 10, 15 minutes, or maybe even an hour. When there are a lot of emotions happening, each person gets wrapped up in protecting themselves from the emotions they are feeling and can lose track of what is actually going on in the conversation as compared to what they are perceiving.When using timeout, say to your girlfriend (or she can say to you) "I need an hour before we can go back to this." Then actually come back to the discussion.Some people are very afraid to use this technique because in the past not talking about something right away meant that it never was returned to and was never resolved in any way. This is why the agreement is important before you need it.While it may be helpful to ask your girlfriend what it is she may want from you, it is you that would be in charge of deciding whether you want to make that change and putting it into practice.Try to remember that part of being in a couple is holding onto your own wants, wishes, and desires while recognizing those of your partner.As one final idea, consider spending about 15 minutes a week together where you are not problem-solving about anything, just connecting with one another.I encourage you to see a therapist who specializes in couples if you would like some more specific ideas for what is happening within each of you and between you.Best wishes!

I'm currently dating someone else and I really like him. But I love and miss my ex so much. What do I do?

Finding the right person is a tricky thing to do. Why did you and your ex break up 3 months ago? In relationships with others you get to see a reflection of yourself. Sometimes you may enjoy that reflection, other times it may not feel so good. I'm not sure where you are in your life and relationships and what you do from here depends on what you desire more of in your life. But I'm not simply talking in the moment desire, I'm referring to the direction you want your life to go. If one of these guys was to support you...who would help you reach your dreams? And who would you enjoy spending time with? It's complicated and no one can answer the 'what to do' question but you. Slow down. Tune into your heart. Listen.  

I have a problem with binge eating, especially during times of stress. I binge eat and feel so overwhelmed with shame and disappointment that I end up going to the gym and trying to exercise the calories off. I am in my late 20s, and I have been dealing with this since I was a teenager. Are there any coping mechanisms I can use to break this cycle?

Hello,This question describes a very typical setup of what is called the  Binge, Repent, Repeat cycle. This means that typically after you binge, you experience emotions as you described "shame and disappointment" and then because of these emotions you "repent" (i.e. vow to never binge again, promise to "do better," go to the gym, etc.) and then ultimately end up bingeing again. There are many coping mechanisms for binge eating and one of the best is actually attempting to NORMALIZE eating. Meaning you need to attempt to eat normally, eating appropriately portioned meals 3 times a day, with snacks in between. IF you binge, then it may be helpful to remind yourself that when you attempt to compensate for your bingeing behaviors, and you end up feeling restricted from over exercising or undereating, then this actually leads to a binge again. Thus, reverting you back to the cycle. If you binge, it will be helpful to try and get back on a normal schedule of eating instead of trying to compensate for the binge. Although it may feel counterproductive, getting back on a normal eating schedule will prevent you from entering into the restrictive cycle. It can also be helpful to remind yourself that the binge has already occurred, it is in the past and the goal is to move forward without focusing on the past. Focus on what you can do differently next time. What emotions or situations led up to the binge? What can you to do prevent or change the circumstances that led to the binge, or the way that you handled the situation? Lastly, if you're struggling with "normalizing" eating, it can be helpful to work with a professional that can provide counseling and coaching to help you learn how to eating normally, mindfully and without feeling the guilt and other harmful emotions sometimes associated with disordered eating. I would be more than happy to assist you if you ever have any questions or want to reach out to somebody. You can contact me via my website: http://www.maddenwellnessky.com/ 

I’m facing severe depression and anxiety and I just feel like I’m going through a lot. This really distracts me and I cant get my mind off the things that are bothering me. How do I overcome this anxierty and depression?

Anxiety and depression are often linked. I don't consider them as diseases. Depression is a symptom of deep hurts to the sense of self that leaves a person feeling shamed. Anxiety is a symptom of not being given the proper emotional resources to handle the problems of life. It is also the result of being taught that life is a dangerous place that can't be managed.

For the past four weeks, I've been having nightmares and hearing voices telling me of horrible things. They're not random voices, but rather, the voices of those I care about.

Write down your nightmares and discuss them with an analyst or psychotherapist who specializes in dreams, as I do. If you are hearing voices while awake, see a doctor right away.  If the voices are strictly in your dreams, do call for therapy and talk to your caring others about what's happening.