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78. 8same thing. Raise your minds higher up. Look at this beautiful summer sky. Do you think it ends there, where the air seems a sapphire vault? No, the most pure, the most azure spheres are be­ yond it, up as far as Paradise, which no one can imagine, where the Messiah will lead all the just who die in the Lord. The same difference exists between the Messiah's royalty, as understood by men, and His true Royalty: which is entirely divine. » «But will we, poor men, be able to raise our minds so far up? » «Yes, if you only want to. And if you want to, I will help you. » «How shall we call You, if You are not a king? » «Call Me Master, or Jesus, as you wish. I am a Master and I am Jesus, the Saviour. » 8An old man says: «Listen, my Lord. Some time ago, a long time ago, at the time of the edict, we heard here that the Saviour was born in Bethlehem... and I went there with other people... I saw a little Baby, exactly like all other new-born babies. But I adored Him with faith. Later I heard that there was a holy man, whose name is John. Which is the true Messiah? » «The One you adored. The other is His Precursor: a great saint in the eyes of the Most High. But he is not the Messiah. » «Was it You? » «It was I. And what did you see around the new-born Child? » «Poverty and cleanliness, honesty and purity... A kind seri­ ous carpenter, whose name was Joseph, a carpenter but of the House of David, a young mother, fair and kind, whose name was Mary, before whose grace the most beautiful roses of Engedi turn pale and the lilies of the royal flower beds seem mis-shapen, and a Child with large blue eyes and pale gold hair... I saw nothing else... And I can still hear the voice of the Mother say to me: “On behalf of My Creature I say to You: may the Lord be with you un­ til the eternal meeting and may His Grace come towards you on your way”. I am eighty-four years old... my way is near its end. I was no longer expecting to meet the Grace of God. Instead I have found You... and now I do not wish to see any other light than Yours... Yes. I see You as You are in this merciful attire, which is the flesh You have taken. I see You! Listen to the voice of a man who sees the Light of God while dying! » The people press around the old inspired man, who is in Jesus' group. No longer leaning on his walking stick, he lifts his trem­ 504

bling arms and raises his white head, which, with its separated beard, seems the head of a patriarch or a prophet. «I see Him: The Chosen, Supreme, Perfect One, Who de­ scended here out of love, I see Him rise again to the right hand side of the Father and become One with Him. But... Oh! He is not just a Voice or an incorporeal Essence, as Moses saw the Most High, or as Genesis tells the First Parents heard Him and spoke to Him in the evening breeze. I see Him as real Flesh ris­ ing to the Eternal Father. Blazing Flesh! Glorious Flesh! Oh! Pomp of Divine Flesh! Oh! Beauty of the Man-God! He is the King! Yes. The King. Not of Israel: of the world. All the royalties of the earth bow to Him and all the sceptres and crowns fade away in the splendour of His sceptre and jewels. He has a crown on His head and a sceptre in His hand. He wears a rational on His chest: it is adorned with pearls and rubies, the brightness of which was never seen before. Flames issue from it as if it were a blazing furnace. There are two rubies on His wrists and buckles with rubies are on His holy feet. There is so much light from the rubies! Admire, peoples, the Eternal King! I see You! I see You! I am rising with You... Ah! Lord! Our Redeemer!... The light in­ creases within my soul... The King is decorated with His own Blood! The crown is a wreath of bleeding thorns. The sceptre is a cross... Here is the Man! He is here! It is You! '... Lord, for the sake of Your sacrifice have mercy on Your servant, Jesus, I com­ mend my soul to Your mercy. » The old man, who so far had stood up, rejuvenated by the fire of prophecy, suddenly collapses and would fall if Jesus were not quick in holding him up against His chest. «Saul. » «Saul is dying! » «Help! » «Be quick. » «Peace to the just man who is dying» says Jesus, Who has slowly knelt down to support the old man, who has become heav­ ier and heavier. There is silence. Then Jesus lays him down on the ground. And He stands up. «Peace to his soul. He died seeing the Light. In his expectation, which will be a short one, he will already see the face of God and 505

78. 9will be happy. There is no death, that is parting from life, for those who died in the Lord. » 9The people, after a little while, go away commenting. The el­ ders, Jesus, His disciples and the head of the synagogue remain. «Did he prophesy, Lord? » «His eyes saw the Truth. Let us go. » They go out. «Master, Saul died enraptured by the Spirit of God. We touched him, are we clean or unclean? » «Unclean. » «And what about You? » «I am just like the others. I do not change the Law. The Law is law and an Israelite fulfils it. We are unclean. Within the third and the seventh day we shall get purified. Till then, we are un­ clean. Judas, I am not going back to your mother's. I do not want to take uncleanliness to her home. Send her word by someone who can go there. Peace to this town. Let us go. » I do not see anything else. 506

Maria Valtorta THE GOSPELAS REVEALED TO ME

THE GOSPEL AS REVEALED TO ME 7 parts The birth and Hidden Life of Mary and Jesus chapters 1-43 The first year of the Public Life of Jesus chapters 44-140 The second year of the Public Life of Jesus chapters 141-312 The third year of the Public Life of Jesus chapters 313-540 Preparation for the Passion of Jesus chapters 541-600 Passion and Deat h of Jesus chapters 601-615 Glorification of Jesus and Mary chapters 616-651 Farewell to t he Work, chapter 652 10 volumes Volume One, chapters 1-78 Volume Two, chapters 79-159 Volume Three, chapters 160-225 Volume Four, chapters 226-295 Volume Five, chapters 296-363 Volume six, chapters 364-432 Volume seven, chapters 433-500 Volume Eight, chapters 501-554 Volume Nine, chapters 555-600 Volume Ten, chapters 601-652

Maria Valtorta THE GOSPEL AS REVEALED TO ME VOLUME TWO Chapters 79-159 CENTRO EDITORIALE VALTORTIANO

Original title: Maria Valtorta, L'Evangelo come mi e stato rivelato Copyright © 2001 by Centro Editoriale Valtortiano srl., Viale Piscicelli 89-91, 03036 Isola del Liri (fr) — Italy. Translated from Italian by Nicandro Picozzi Maria Valtorta, The Gospel as revealed to me. 10 volumes. Second edition All rights reserved in all countries Copyright © 2012 by Centro Editoriale Valtortiano srl., Viale Piscicelli 89-91, 03036 Isola del Liri (fr) — Italy. www. mariavaltorta. com ISBN 978-88-7987-182-2 (Volume two) ISBN 978-88-7987-180-8 (Complete work in 10 volumes) Graphic and printing: Centro Editoriale Valtortiano srl., Isola del Liri (fr) — Italy Reprinted in Italy, 2014. Previous edition: Maria Valtorta, The Poem of the Man-God, 5 volumes, © 1986 by Centro Editoriale Valtortiano srl

INDEX The first year of Public Life of Jesus. (continuation and conclusion) 79. Going to the shepherds. The jewels of Aglae and a parable about his conversion. 13 80. With three apostles on the mount of abstinence and temp­ tation. 19 81. On the ford of the Jordan river. Meeting with the shep­ herds Simeon, John and Matthias. A plan to free the Bap­ tist. 31 82. In Jericho. The Iscariot tells of how he sold Aglae's jewels. 36 83. Jesus suffers on account of Judas, who is a living lesson for the apostles of all times. 43 84. The meeting with Lazarus of Bethany. 49 85. Jesus with Simon Zealot at the Temple, where the Iscariot is speaking, then on to Gethsemane. 56 86. The meeting with the soldier Alexander at the Fish Gate. 61 87. With shepherds and disciples near Doco. Isaac remains in Judaea. 67 88. In the plain of Esdraelon. The love of John and the very few like him. Visit to the shepherd Jonah. 70 89. The farewell from Jonah, whom Simon Zealot hopes to free. The arrival of Jesus in Nazareth. 76 90. The arrival of the disciples and of the shepherds in Naza ­ reth. 83 91. Lesson to the disciples in the olive-grove at Nazareth. 89 92. Lesson to the disciples in the house of Nazareth. 93 93. Lesson to the disciples in the presence of Holy Mary in the garden of the house of Nazareth. Comfort to Judas of Al­ phaeus. 97 7

94. Healing of the Beauty of Korasim. Jesus speaks in the synagogue of Capernaum. 103 95. James of Alphaeus is received among the disciples. Jesus preaches near Matthew's Customs Bench. 111 96. Jesus answers to the accusation of having cured the Beau­ ty of Korazim on the Sabbath. 118 97. The call of Matthew. Mt 9: 9-13; Mk 2: 13-17; Lk 5: 27-32 124 98. Meeting with the Magdalene on the lake of Galilee. A les-son to the disciples at Tiberias. 132 99. At Tiberias, in the house of Chuza. 142 100. In Nazareth, in the house of the old and sick Alphaeus. The life of an apostle is not an easy one. 148 101. Jesus questions His Mother about His disciples. 159 102. Meeting with the ex-shepherd Jonathan and the healing of Johanna of Chuza. 161 103. On the Lebanon with the shepherds Benjamin and Daniel. 169 104. Aava reconciled with her husband. News of the death of Alphaeus and the ransom of Jonah. 175 105. In Nazareth for the death of Alphaeus. The gradual con-version of the cousin Simon. 183 106. Jesus is driven out of Nazareth. Comfort to His Mother. Reflections on four contemplations. Lk 4: 16-30 189 107. Jesus and His Mother in the house of Johanna of Chuza. 195 108. Preaching to the vintagers. A paralytic child healed by the intercession of the Mother of Jesus. 198 109. In the fields of Johanan and in those of Doras. The death of Jonah in the house of Nazareth. 204 110. Jesus in the House of Jacob near Lake Merom. 219 111. Meeting with Solomon at the Jordan ford. A parable on the conversion of hearts. 225 112. Judas Iscariot surprised in Jericho. In Bethany with La-zarus, who introduces Martha. 230 8

113. Return to Bethany after the feast of the Tabernacles. 237 114. At the banquet of Joseph of Arimathea, Gamaliel and Nicodemus are also present. 239 115. Healing of a dying child struck by the horse of Alexan­ der. Jesus is driven out of the Temple. 248 116. At Gethsemane the disciples speak with Jesus of the pa-gans and of the “veiled woman”. The secret conversation with Nicodemus. Jn 3: 1-21 253 117. Lazarus provides Jesus with a little house on the plain of the Clear Water. 264 118. The beginning of common life in the Clear Water. The opening speech. Jn 3: 22-24 269 119. The preaching at the Clear Water. “I am the Lord your God”. Jesus baptises just like John. Jn 3: 22-24 277 120. The preaching at the Clear Water. “You shall have no gods before Me”. 286 121. The preaching at the Clear Water. “You shall not take My Name in vain”. The visit of Manaen. 290 122. The preaching at the Clear Water. “Honour your father and mother”. Healing of a dull-witted boy. 299 123. The preaching at the Clear Water. “You shall not forni­ cate”. The afftont of the five learned of the Temple. 310 124. The “veiled woman” is given shelter in the house at the Clear Water. 319 125. The preaching at the Clear Water. “Observe Holy Days”. The healing of a boy with fractured legs. 325 126. The preaching at the Clear Water. “You shall not kill”. The death of Doras. 330 127. The preaching at the Clear Water. “Do not put the Lord your God to the test”. The testimony of the Baptist. Jn 3: 25-36 338 128. The preaching at the Clear Water. “You shall not covet your neighbour's wife”. The healing of a lustful young man. 345 129. At the Clear Water, the healing of a possessed Roman. 350 9

130. The preaching at the Clear Water. “You shall not bear false witness”. The little Asrael. 358 131. The preaching at the Clear Water. “You shall not covet what belongs to your neighbour”. The sin of Herod. 365 132. The final preaching at the Clear Water. Prediction of the spiritual supremacy to Simon Peter. 369 133. Andrew, the ideal model of the priest. A letter from His Mother. Jesus is compelled to depart from the Clear Wa­ ter. 377 134. The healing of Jerusa in Doco. 387 135. The arrival in Bethany. A sermon by Jesus listened to by Mary Magdalene. 390 136. The feast of Dedication in the house of Lazarus. Recol­ lection of the birth of Jesus. 400 137. Return to the Clear Water and a clash with the Pharisees who had beaten and banished the “veiled woman”. 412 138. Farewell to the custodian of the Clear Water and to Tim-otheus, head of the synagogue who becomes a disciple. 419 139. On the mountains near Emmaus. The nature of Judas Is-cariot and the qualities of the good. 423 140. In Emmaus, encounter with Cleopas. A case of incest. End of the first year. 428 The second year of Public Life of Jesus. 141. Going towards Arimathea with the disciples and with Joseph of Emmaus. 437 142. With the Twelve towards Samaria. Jn 4: 1-4 440 143. Photinai, the Samaritan woman. Jn 4: 5-38 443 144. The Samaritans invite Jesus to Sychar. Jn 4: 39-44 449 145. The first day in Sychar. Jn 4: 39-44 452 146. The second day in Sychar and farewell to the Samari­ tans. Jn 4: 39-44 456 10

147. Healing of a woman from Sychar. The conversion of Pho­ tinai. 459 148. Jesus visits the Baptist near Ennon. 464 149. The inheritance of the Baptist. The time of death for the apostles. The love of God in John. 467 150. At Nazareth with Holy Mary who will follow Her Son. 471 151. In Cana in the house of Susanna, who will become a dis­ ciple. The royal officer. Jn 4: 46-54 473 152. Maria Salome is accepted as a disciple. 476 153. Jesus speaks to His disciples of women's Apostolate. 478 154. At Caesarea on Sea. Sermon to the galley-slaves and meeting with Claudia Procula. The fatigue of the “voice” relieved. 480 155. In Caesarea, the healing of a little Roman girl. An argu­ ment about the contacts with the Gentiles. 487 156. Annaleah, the first of the consecrated virgins. 495 157. In Nazareth. Jesus gives the outlines of the main duties of women in their new mission. 501 158. On the lake of Gennesaret with Johanna of Chuza. 509 159. The preaching at Ghergesa on sincerity in faith. The re-ply to the questions of the disciples of the Baptist: new times, new methods. Mt 9: 14-17; Mk 2: 18-22; Lk 5: 33-39 513 (the “second year'' continue s in the third volume) 11

The first year of Public Life of Jesus. 79. Going to the shepherds. The jewels of Aglae and a parable about his conversion. 15th January 1945. 1Jesus is walking with His disciples on a road along the tor­ rent. The road is not really running along the torrent. The tor­ rent is below; high above, on the side of the mountain, there is a twisting road, as can be normally found in mountain places. John is almost purple, laden like a porter, with a big heavy satch­ el. Judas is carrying Jesus' bag and his own. Simon has only his bag and the mantles. Jesus is now wearing his own clothes and sandals. But Judas' mother must have had His tunic washed, be­ cause it is no longer creased. «How much fruit! How beautiful are those vineyards on those hills! » says John, who is always in good spirits, despite the heat and the fatigue. «Master, is this the river on the banks of which our fathers picked* the miraculous grapes? » «No, it is another one, farther south. But the whole region was blessed with rich fruit. » «It is not so blessed now, although still beautiful. » «Too many wars have devastated the country. Israel was made here... but it had to be fecundated by its own blood and by the blood of its enemies. » «Where will we find the shepherds? » «Five miles from Hebron, on the banks of the river you were enquiring about. » «Beyond that hill, then. » «Correct. » «It's very warm. The summer... Where are we going after, Master? » «To a place which is even warmer. But I ask you to come. * our fathers picked, in Num 13: 23-24. 79. 1

We shall travel by night. The stars are so bright that there is no darkness. I want to show you a place... » «A town? » «No... A place... that will make you understand the Master... perhaps even better than His words. » 2«We lost some days over that stupid incident. It spoiled eve­ rything... and my mother who had prepared so much, was dis­ appointed. I cannot understand why You wanted to segregate Yourself with the purification... » «Judas, why do you call something that was a grace for a true believer stupid? Would you not like such a death for yourself? He had waited all his life for the Messiah, and although an elder­ ly man, he had gone along uncomfortable roads, to adore Him, when he was told: “He is here”. He had kept My Mother's word for thirty years in his heart. He was enraptured by the fire of love and faith in the last hour granted to him by God. His heart broke out of joy and was burnt, like a pleasing holocaust, by the fire of God. Which destiny could be better? He spoiled the feast you had prepared? You can see the answer of God in that. The things of man are not to be mixed with the things of God... Your mother will have Me again. The old man would not have had Me again. The whole of Kerioth can come to Christ, the old man had no more strength to do so. I am happy that I held the old dying father against My heart and I commended his soul. With regards to the rest... Why give scandal lacking respect for the Law? One must walk in front of the others if one wants to say: “Follow me”. And to lead people on to a holy path, one must walk on the same path. How could I have said, or how could I say: “Be faithful”, if I were without faith? » «I think that error is the cause of our decay. The rabbis and Pharisees crush the people with their precepts and then... then they behave like the man who desecrated John's house, making it a place of sin» remarks Simon. «He is one of Herod's... » «Yes, Judas, but the same faults are to be found also in the classes which are said — by themselves of course — to be holy. What do you think about it, Master? » asks Simon. «I say that only if there is a handful of true yeast and t rue in­ cense in Israel, the bread will be made and the altar perfumed. » 1479. 2

«What do you mean? » «I mean that if there is anyone coming to the Truth with a sincere heart, the Truth will spread like the yeast in the mass of flour and like incense all over Israel. » «What did that woman say to You? » asks Judas. Jesus does not reply. He instead addresses John: «Your load is heavy and you are tired. Give it to Me. » «No, Jesus, I am used to carrying weights and in any case... the thought of Isaac's joy makes it light. » 3They go round the hillock. Elias' sheep are in the shade of the wood, on the other side. And the shepherds, sitting in the shade are watching them. When they see Jesus they start running. «Peace to you. You are here? » «We were worried about You... because of the delay... and we didn't know whether to come and meet You or obey... then we de­ cided to come this far... and thus obey Your instructions and sat­ isfy our love at the same time. You have probably been here for many days. » «We had to stay... » «Nothing... wrong? » «No, My friends, nothing. A faithful believer died on My breast. Nothing else. » «What do you think should have happened, shepherd? When things are well arranged... Certainly one must know how to pre­ pare them and also prepare hearts to receive them. My town paid every honour to Christ. Did they not, Master? » «Yes, they did. Isaac, on our way back we called at Sarah's. Also the town of Juttah, without any preparation other than its simple goodness and the truth of Isaac's words, understood the essence of My doctrine and learned how to love with a holy, prac­ tical, unselfish love. She sent you some clothes and food, Isaac, and everybody wanted to add something to the alms you left on your bed, because you are now back in the world and you lack everything. Take this. I never take money. But I accepted this be­ cause it is purified by charity. » «No, Master, You keep It. I... I am used to doing without it. » «You will now have to go to the various villages to which I will send you. And you will need it. A workman is entitled to his pay, also if he deals with souls... because there is still a body to79. 3 15

79. 4be nourished, as if it were a donkey helping its master. It is not much. But you will manage. John has some clothes and sandals in that bag. Joachim gave some of his own. They may be too big... but there is so much love in the gift! » Isaac takes the bag and goes behind a bush to dress. He was still barefooted and was wearing his strange gown made from a blanket. 4«Master» says Elias. «That woman... the woman who is in John's house... three days after You left and we were pasturing the sheep on the meadows of Hebron — they belong to every­ body, the meadows, and they could not send us away — she sent her maid to us with this bag and told us that she wanted to speak to us... I don't know whether I did the right thing... but the first time I gave the bag back to her and said: “I do not want to listen to her”... Then she sent this message: “Come in Jesus' name” and I went. She waited until her... well, the man who keeps her, had gone... She wanted to know so many things. But I... didn't tell her very much. Out of prudence. She is a prostitute. I was afraid it might be a trap for You. She asked me who You are, where You live, what You do, if You are a gentleman... I said: “He is Jesus of Nazareth, He goes everywhere, because He is a Master, and He goes around Palestine teaching”; I said You are a poor man, a simple workman, made wise by Wisdom... Nothing else. » «You did well» says Jesus, and Judas at the same moment ex­ claims: «You did the wrong thing! Why did you not say that He is the Messiah, the King of the world? The proud Roman woman should be crushed under the blow of God's splendour. » «She would not have understood me... In any case how could I be sure that she was sincere? When you saw her, you said what she is. Was I to throw holy things, and everything that is Jesus is holy, into her mouth? Was I to endanger Jesus, giving too much information? Anyone may hurt Him, but I will not. » «John, let us go and tell her who the Master is, and explain the holy truth to her. » «Not me. Unless Jesus tells me. » «Are you afraid? What can she do to you? Do you loathe her? The Master did not. » «I am not afraid neither do I loathe her. I feel sorry for her. But I think that if Jesus wanted, He could have stopped to teach 16 *

her. He did not do it... it is not necessary for us to do it. » «At that time there were no signs of a conversion... Now... 5Show me the bag, Elias. » And Judas, who is sitting on the grass, 79. 5 empties the bag on his mantle. Rings, armlets, bracelets and a necklace roll out: yellow gold on the dark gold of Judas' mantle. «They are jewels!... What can we do with them? » «They can be sold» says Simon. «They are troublesome things» remarks Judas, who, however, admires them. «That's what I told her, when I took them; I also said: “Your master will beat you”. She replied: “They do not belong to him. They are mine and I do what I want with them. I know it is the gold of sins... but it will become good if used for the poor and the holy. That they may remember me” and she was crying. » «Go and see her, Master. » «No. » «Send Simon. » «No. » «Well, I'll go. » «No. » Jesus' «No» is sharp and peremptory. «Was I wrong, Master, in speaking to her and taking that gold? » asks Elias, when he sees Jesus so serious. «You did nothing wrong. But there is nothing more to be done. » 6«But perhaps that woman wants to redeem herself and she 79. 6 needs to be taught... » Judas objects once again. «There are already in her so many sparks capable of starting a fire which will burn her vices and purify her soul and repent­ ance will render her innocent once again. A few minutes ago I spoke to you of the yeast which is mixed with the flour and turns it into holy bread. Listen now to a short parable. That woman is the flour. A flour in which the Evil One has mixed his hellish powders. I am the yeast. That is, My word is the yeast. But if there is too much chaff in the flour, or if sand, or little stones or ashes are mixed in it, is it possible to make bread with it, even if the yeast is good? It is not possible. It is necessary to patiently remove the chaff, the ashes, stones and sand from the flour. Then Mercy passes by and offers the first sieve... The first 17

one: made from short basic truths, which may be understood by one entangled in the net of total ignorance, vice and Gentilism. If the soul accepts it, the first purification begins. The second takes place by means of the sieve of the soul itself, which compares its own being with the Being that revealed Itself. And the soul is horrified. And it starts its work. By means of a more and more particular operation, after the stones, the sand and the ashes, it reaches the point of also removing that part of the flour consist­ ing of grains too heavy and too coarse to make good bread. The soul is now ready. Mercy then passes by once again and pene­ trates into the flour now ready — that is a preparation too, Judas — and raises it and turns it into bread. But it is a long operation: an operation of the “will power” of the soul. That woman already has within herself the minimum which was fair to give her and which may be used by her to accomplish her work. Let her do it, if she wishes to, but we must not disturb her. Everything upsets a soul which is working: curiosity, unad­ vised zeal, intolerance as well as excessive compassion. » 7«We are not going to see her, then? » «No. And that none of you may be tempted to, let us leave at once. There is shade in the wood. We will stop at the foot of the Terebinth Valley. And we will part there. Elias will go back to his pastures with Levi: Joseph will come with Me as far as the Jericho ford. Later... we will meet again. You, Isaac, continue what you did at Juttah, going from here, through Arimathaea and Ly­ dda, to Doco. We will meet there. It is necessary to prepare Ju­ daea, and you know how to do it. Exactly as you did at Juttah». «And what about us? » «You? You will come, as I said, to see My preparation. Also I am prepared for My mission. » «Did You go to a rabbi's? » «No. » «Did You go to John? » «I was only baptised by him. » «Well, then? » «Bethlehem spoke with its stones and its hearts. Also where I am taking you, Judas, the stones and a heart, Mine, will speak to you and give you the answer. » 8Elias, who has brought some milk and brown bread, says: 1879. 7 79. 8

«While waiting for You, I tried, and Isaac tried with me, to con­ vince the people in Hebron... But they will not believe, they will not take an oath, they do not want anyone but John. He is their “holy man” and they do not want anyone else. » «It is a sin quite common to many places and many present and future believers. They look at the workman, not at the mas­ ter who sent the workman. They ask the workman questions and they do not even say to him: “Tell your master”. They forget that there is a workman only because there is a master and that it is the master who instructs the workman and enables him to work. They forget that the workman can intercede, but only the mas­ ter can concede. In this case God and His Word with Him. It does not matter. The Word is sorry but bears no grudge. Let us go. » The vision ends. 80. With three apostles on the mount of abstinence and temptation. 17th January 1945. 1A most beautiful dawn in the wilderness, seen from the height of a mountain side. It is daybreak. A few stars are still vis­ ible and a very thin arc of a waning moon looks like a silver com­ ma on the dark blue velvet of the sky. The mountain is completely isolated, that is, it is not linked to any other chain of mountains. But it is a real mountain, not a hill. The top is much higher up, but even from the middle of its slope a very wide horizon can be seen, because one is well above ground level. In the fresh morning air, as the faint white-green­ ish dawn light becomes clearer and clearer, profiles and details slowly become visible, whereas before they were hidden in the fog that precedes daybreak, a fog that is darker than night, be­ cause the light of the stars seems to diminish and fade away in the transition from night to day. I thus see that the mountain is rocky and barren, split by gorges forming grottoes, caves and inlets in its side. It is a real wilderness: only where there is some earth capable of receiving and retaining the moisture of the rain, are there a few green tufts, mainly stiff thorny plants, with very few leaves, and low hard bushes of grass similar to thin green80. 1 19

80. 2sticks, the name of which I do not know. Below there is an even more barren plain, a flat stony ground that becomes more arid as it stretches out towards a dark spot, much longer than wider, at least five times longer than wider, which I think must be a thick oasis, which has sprung up in so much bleakness, because of underground waters. But when the light becomes brighter, I see that it is nothing but water. Stag­ nant, dark, dead water. A lake of infinite sadness. In the still fee­ ble light it reminds me of the vision of the dead world. It seems to be drawing to itself all the darkness of the sky and all the gloominess of the surrounding area, dissolving in its still water the deep green of the thorny shrubs and stiff grass that for miles and miles around it and above it, are the only decoration of the earth. And after filtering so much gloom it seems to spread it around once again. How different it is from the sunny, smiling lake of Gennesaret! High above, looking at the clear blue sky, which is becoming clearer and clearer, looking at the light progressing from the east in deeper and deeper brightness, one's soul rejoices. But looking at the huge, dead lake gives one a stab in the heart. Not one bird flies over the water. Not one animal is on its shore. Nothing. 2While I am watching so much desolation, I am aroused by the voice of my Jesus: «Here we are at the place I wanted. » I turn around. I see Him behind me, with John, Simon and Judas, near the rocky slope of the mountain, where there is a little path, or rather, where the long erosion of water, in the rainy months, has formed a very shallow channel throughout centuries, a drain for the water flowing from the mountain top and which is a path for wild goats rather than for men. Jesus looks around and repeats: «Yes, this is the place that I wanted to bring you to. Here Christ prepared for His mission. » «But there is nothing here! » «You are quite right, there is nothing. » «Who were You with? » «With My soul and with the Father. » «Ah! You stayed only for a few hours! » «No, Judas. Not a few hours. Many days... » «But who served You? Where did You sleep? » «My servants were the wild asses that came to sleep in their 20

caves, where I also had taken shelter. My maidservants were the eagles that said to Me with their harsh cries: “It's daylight” and they flew away to attack their prey. My friends were the little hares that came up almost to My feet, gnawing at the wild herbs. My food and My drink were the same food and drink of the wild flower: the night dew and the sunshine. Nothing else. » «But why? » «To prepare well, as you say, for My mission. Things well pre­ pared for are successful. You said so yourself. And My thing was not a small, a useless thing which would glorify Me, the Servant of the Lord, but it was to make men understand what the Lord is, and by means of such understanding, make Him loved in the spir­ it of truth. The servant that is concerned with his own triumph, and not with the Lord's, is a miserable man! The servant who is anxious to make a profit, who dreams he will sit on a high throne built on the interests of God, which have been lowered down to the earth, whereas they are celestial interests, is also a miserable servant. He is no longer a servant, except in his external appear­ ance. He is a merchant, a trafficker, a deceitful person, who de­ ceives himself and men and would like to deceive God as well... a wretched man who believes he is a prince, whilst he is a slave. He belongs to the Evil One, his king of falsehood. Here, in this cave, Christ for many days lived fasting and praying to get ready for His mission. 3And where would you have suggested I should have gone to prepare, Judas? » Judas is puzzled and bewildered. Eventually he replies: «I would not know... I was thinking... to a rabbi... or with the Ess­ enes... I do not know. » «And was it possible for Me to find a rabbi who would tell Me more than the power and wisdom of God were telling Me? And could I — I the Eternal Word of the Father, Who was present when the Father created man and am aware of the immortal soul by which he is animated and of the power of free capable judge­ ment with which he was endowed by the Creator — would I have gone to derive science and skill from those who deny the immor­ tality of souls, final resurrection and also the freedom of man to act, attributing virtues and vices, holy and wicked deeds to a destiny, which they say is fatal and uncontrollable? Certainly not!80. 3 21

You have a destiny. Yes you do. In the mind of God Who creates you, there is a destiny for you. It is the wish of the Father. And it is a destiny of love, of peace, of glory: “the holiness of being His chil- dren”. That is the destiny that was present in the divine mind when Adam was made from mud and will be present until the creation of the last soul of man. But the Father does not denigrate you in your position of kings. If a king is a prisoner, he is no longer a king: he is an out­ cast. You are kings because you are free in your small individual kingdoms. In your “ ego”. You can do what you like and how you 80. 4 like. 4Before you and on the boundaries of your small kingdom you have a friendly King and two enemy powers. The Friend shows you the rules that He gives to make His followers happy. He shows them and says: “Here they are. With them, your eter­ nal victory is certain”. He, The Wise and Holy One, shows them to you so that you may put them into practice, if you want to, and thus receive eternal glory. The two enemy powers are Satan and the flesh. By flesh I mean your flesh and the world: they are the pomps and entice­ ments of the world, that is, the riches, feasts, honours and powers which are obtained from the world and in the world, but are not always obtained honestly and they are used even less honestly when eventually a man reaches them. Satan, the master of the flesh and of the world, speaks also on behalf of the world and of the flesh. He, too, has his rules... Oh! He certainly has! And as your “ego” is enveloped in the flesh, and the flesh is attracted by the flesh, as metal chips are attracted by a magnet, and the sing­ ing of the Seducer is sweeter than the warble of a nightingale in love in the moonlight and among perfumed rose bushes, it is easier to follow those rules, and incline towards those powers and say to them: “I consider you my friends. Come in”. Come in... Have you ever seen an ally who remains honest forever, without asking a hundredfold return for the help he has given? That is what those powers do. They go in... And they become the mas­ ters: Masters? No: galley sergeants. They tie you, men, to the gal­ ley bench, they fasten you with chains, they do not allow you to raise your head from their yoke, and their lash leaves bleeding marks on your backs if you attempt to escape. You either must bear to be torn to pieces and become a heap of shattered flesh, so 22

useless, as flesh, as to be rejected and kicked aside by their cruel feet, or you must die under their blows. If you can bear that martyrdom, then Mercy will come, the Only One who can still have mercy on that revolting misery, which the world, one of the masters, now loathes and at which the other master, Satan, throws the arrows of his revenge. And Mercy, the Only One, passes by, bends down, picks it up, doc­ tors it, cures it and says: “Come. Do not be afraid. Do not look at yourself. Your wounds are but scars, but they are so numerous that you would be horrified, as they disfigure you. But I do not look at them. I look at your goodwill. Because of your good-will, you are marked. Therefore I say to you: I love you. Come with Me”. And He takes it to His Country. You then understand that Mercy and the friendly King are the same person. You find the rules He had shown you and you did not want to follow. Now you want them... and first you reach the peace of your conscience, then the peace of God. Tell Me, now. Was that destiny imposed by the Only One on everybody, or did each choose it for himself? » «It was chosen by each person. » «You are right, Simon. Was it possible for Me to go to those who deny the blessed resurrection and the gift of God, to be taught? 5I came here. I took My soul of the Son of man and I gave it its finishing touches and I thus finished the work of thirty years of humbleness and preparation in order to be perfect when start­ ing My mission. Now I ask you to stay with Me for a few days in this cave. Our stay will be less depressing because we shall be four friends joining in our efforts against sadness, fears, temp­ tation and the desires of the flesh. I was by Myself. It will be less painful because it is now summer and up here the mountain winds lessen the heat. I came here at the end of the Tebeth moon and the wind blowing down from the snowy tops was harsh. It will be less trying because it will be shorter and also because we have the necessary food to satisfy our hunger and in small leath­ er flasks that I asked the shepherds to give you, there is enough water to last us for the days of our stay. I... I must snatch two souls from Satan. It can only be done by penance. I ask you to help Me. It will be training for you. You will learn how to snatch victims from Mammon: not so much with words but with sacri­80. 5 23

80. 6fice... Words!... The satanic uproar prevents one from hearing them... Every soul which is a prey of the Enemy is enveloped in a turbine of infernal voices... Do you want to stay with Me? If you do not want to, you may go and we will meet at Tekoah, near the market. » «No, Master, I will not leave You» says John, while Simon at the same time exclaims: «You raise us by wanting us to be with You in this redemption. » Judas... does not appear to be terribly enthusiastic. But he puts a good face on... destiny and says: «I will stay. » «Well, take the flasks and the bags and put them inside, and before the sun gets hot, break some wood and gather it near the crevice. The nights are severe, even in summer, and not all the animals are gentle. Light a branch at once. Over there, a branch of that gummy acacia. It burns very well. We will search in the crevices and with the fire we will drive out asps and scorpions. Go. »... 6... The same spot on the mountain. But it is night now. A star­ ry night. I think that the beauty of such a nocturnal sky can be enjoyed only in such almost-tropical countries. The stars are wonderfully large and bright. The bigger constellations seem like clusters of diamond chips, of clear topazes, of pale sap­ phires, of mild opals and soft rubies. They tremble, they light up, they go out like glances hidden for an instant by eyelashes, and light up again more beautiful than before. Now and again a star swoops across the sky and I wonder where it disappears to. A streak of light that seems like a jubilant cry of a star, capable of flying over wide landscapes. Jesus is sitting at the entrance of the cave and is speaking to the three disciples who are sitting in a circle around Him. They must have lit a fire, because in the middle of them, some branch­ es are still as bright as embers and they cast their ruddy glow on the four faces. «Yes. Our stay is over. The last time it lasted forty days... And I would repeat that it was still winter up here... and I had no food. A little more difficult than this time, was it not? I know that you have suffered even now. The little food we had and I gave you was nothing, particularly for hungry young people. It was barely sufficient to prevent you from collapsing. And the 24

water even less so. The heat is intense during the day. And you will say that it was not so in winter. But then there was a dry wind blowing from that mountain top and it parched My lungs, and it rose from the plain loaded with desert dust and it dried more than this summer heat which can be alleviated by suck­ ing the juice of those acidulous fruits that are almost ripe. The mountain in winter gave only wind and frost-bitten herbs near bare acacias. I did not give you everything because I kept the last bread and cheese and the last flask of water for our way back... I know what My return journey was like, exhausted as I was in the desert solitude... Let us pick up our things and go. Tonight is even clearer than the night we came here. There is no moon. But light is pouring from the sky. Let us go. Remember this place. Remember how Christ prepared and how the apostles prepare. Let the apostles prepare as I teach them. » 7They get up. Simon stirs the embers with a stick, and be­ fore scattering them with his foot, he rekindles the fire throw­ ing some dry herbs on it, and from the flame he lights a branch of acacia and holds it up at the entrance of the cave, while Ju­ das and John pick up mantles, bags and small leather flasks of which only one is still full. He then puts the branch out, rubbing it against the rock, he takes his satchel, puts on his mantle like all the rest, and ties it at his waist so that it may not hinder him in walking. Without speaking, one behind the other, they go down a very steep path, scaring away small animals grazing on the scanty grass not yet parched by the sun. It is a long and uncomfortable journey. At last they reach the plain. It is not easy to walk even there, where stones and stone splinters undermine their feet, sliding under them and even hurting them, because the thick dust of the path conceals them and it is therefore impossible to avoid them. Further, naked thorny bushes scratch them and catch the lower part of their garments. But they can walk faster. High above, the stars are lovelier and lovelier. They walk and walk for hours. The plain is more and more barren and depressing. Little scales sparkle in small crevices and holes in the ground. They look like dirty scales of diamond chips. John bends down to look at them. «It is the salt of the subsoil which is saturated with them. It80. 7 25

80. 8comes to the surface with the spring waters and then dries up. That is why life is impossible here. The Eastern Sea spreads its death for many miles around, through deep veins in the ground. Only where fresh spring waters counteract its effects, is it possi­ ble to find plants and comfort» explains Jesus. 8They go on walking. Jesus stops at the hollow rock where I saw Him tempted by Satan. «Let us stop here. Sit down. It will soon be daybreak. We have walked for six hours and you must be hungry, thirsty and tired. Take this. Eat and drink, sitting here, near Me, while I tell you something that you will repeat to your friends and to the world. » Jesus has opened His satchel and has pulled out bread and cheese, which He cuts and hands out, and from His flask He pours out some water into a small jug which He hands round too. «Are You not eating, Master? » «No, I will speak to you. Listen. Once a man asked Me wheth­ er I had ever been tempted. He asked* Me whether I had ever committed sin, and whether, when tempted, I had ever given in. And he was surprised because, in order to resist temptation, I, the Messiah, had asked the Father for help, saying: “Father, lead Me not into temptation”. » Jesus speaks slowly, calmly as if He were relating an event with which none of them was acquainted... Judas lowers his head as if he were embarrassed. But the others are so intent on looking at Jesus, that they do not notice him. Jesus goes on: «Now, My friends, you will learn something of which that man had only a faint idea. After My Baptism I came here: I was clean, but one is never clean enough with regards to God, and the humility in saying: “I am a man and a sinner” is al­ ready a baptism which makes the heart clean. I had been called “the Lamb of God” by the holy prophet who saw the Truth and saw the Spirit descend upon the Word and anoint Him with its chrism of love, while the voice of the Father filled the Heavens saying: “This is My beloved Son in Whom I am very pleased”. You, John, were present when the Baptist repeated those words... After being baptised, although I was clean both by My nature and by appearance, I wanted to “prepare”. Yes, Judas. Look at * asked in 69. 5. 26

Me. May My eyes tell you what My mouth does not yet speak. Look at Me, Judas. Look at your Master, Who although was the Messiah, did not consider Himself superior to man, on the con­ trary, knowing He was the Man, He wanted to be so in every­ thing, except in yielding to evil. Exactly so. » Judas has now raised his head and looks at Jesus in front of him. The light of the stars causes Jesus' eyes to sparkle as if they were two stars fixed in a pale face. 9«If one wants to prepare to be a tea cher one must have been a pupil. I, as God, knew everything. My intelligence enabled Me to understand also the struggles of man, both by intellectual power and in an intellectual way, that is without any practical experi­ ence. But then some poor friend of Mine, some poor son of Mine, could have said to Me: “You do not know what it is to be a man and have senses and passions”. And it would have been a fair re­ proach. I came here, or rather on that mountain, to prepare... not only for My mission... but also for temptation. See? I was tempt­ ed where you are now sitting. By whom? By a mortal being? No. His power would have been too limited. I was tempted by Satan himself. I was exhausted. I had not eaten for forty days... But while I was engrossed in prayer, everything had been forgotten in the joy of speaking to God, rather than forgotten, it had been made endurable. I felt it as a discomfort of a material nature, confined to matter only... I then came back to the world... I was back in the ways of the world... And I felt the needs of those who are in the world. I was hungry. I was thirsty. I felt the biting cold of the desert night. My body was worn out due to lack of rest, of a bed and with a long journey made in such a state of weariness that I could go no farther... Because I am made of flesh too, My dear friends. Real flesh. And my flesh is subject to the weakness common to all flesh. And, with My flesh, I have a heart. Yes, I took the first and sec­ ond of the three parts that form man. I took the physical part with all its needs and the morals with their passions. And whilst, with My will, I subdued all the bad passions at birth, I let the holy passions grow like mighty age-old cedars, that is filial love, love for the fatherland, friendship, work, everything that is best and holy. And here I felt nostalgia for My far away Mother, here80. 9 27

I felt the need for Her care for My human frailty, here I felt once again the pain of parting from the Only One Who loved Me with perfect love, here I realised what sorrow is laid aside for Me and I was grieved at Her sorrows, poor Mother, Who will have to shed so many tears for Her Son and because of the wickedness of men, that She will be left tearless. And here I experienced the weari­ ness of the hero and of the ascetic who in an hour of forewarn­ ing realise the uselessness of their efforts... I cried... Sadness... a lure for Satan. It is not a sin to be sad in painful circumstances. It is a sin to go beyond sadness and fall into inertness and de­ spair. But Satan comes at once when he sees anyone in spiritual languor. He came. Dressed as a kind traveller. He always takes on a kind appearance... I was hungry... and thirty years old. He of­ fered to help Me. First he said to Me: “Tell these stones to become bread”. But before... yes... even before, he spoke to Me about wo­ man. Oh! He knows how to speak of her. He knows her very well. He corrupted her first, to make her his ally in corruption. I am not only the Son of God. I am Jesus, the workman of Nazareth. I said to that man, who was speaking to Me then, the one who asked Me whether I had experienced temptations and almost ac­ cused Me for being unjustly blessed, because I had not sinned: “The act subsides when satisfied. A rejected temptation does not fade away, but becomes stronger also because Satan instigates it”. I resisted the temptation both of lust for woman and hunger for bread. And you must know that Satan proposed woman to Me as the best ally to succeed in the world, and he was quite right, from a human point of view. Temptation did not give up because of My comment: “Man does not live on his senses only” and he spoke to Me of My mis­ sion. He wanted to seduce the Messiah after failing with the young Man. And he incited Me to crush the unworthy ministers of the Temple with a miracle... A miracle, the fire of Heaven, is not to be bent to form a wicker wreath to crown ourselves... And we must not put God to the test, asking for miracles for human purposes. That is what Satan wanted. The reason mentioned by him was an excuse: the truth was: “Boast of being the Messiah”, as he wanted to lead Me to another lust: the lust for pride. He was not daunted by My reply: “You must not put the Lord 28

your God to the test” and he circumvented Me with the third power of his nature: gold. Oh! gold. Bread is a great thing, and woman an even greater one for those longing for food or pleas­ ure. To be acclaimed by the crowds is a very great thing for man. How many crimes are committed for these three things! But gold... gold! It is a key that opens, a circle that joins, it is the be­ ginning and end of ninety-nine percent of human actions. For bread and a woman man becomes a thief. For power he also be­ comes a murderer. But for gold he becomes an idolator. The king of gold, Satan, offered Me his gold if I adored him. I pierced him with the eternal words: “You shall worship the Lord your God, and serve Him only”. It happened here. » 10Jesus is now standing. He seems taller than usual in the flat nature surrounding Him, in the slightly phosphorescent light of the stars. The disciples also get up. Jesus carries on speaking, staring intently at Judas. «Then the angels of the Lord came... The Man had won the triple battle. The Man knew what it meant to be a man and had won. He was exhausted. The struggle had been more exhausting than the long fast... But the spirit was triumphant... I think that Heaven was startled at My becoming a perfect creature endowed with knowledge. I think that from that moment I got the power of working miracles. I was God. I had become the Man. Now, by defeating the animal nature connected with man's nature, I was the Man-God. And I am. And as God I am omnipotent. And as Man I am omniscient. Do as I did, if you want to do what I do. And do it in memory of Me. That man was amazed at My asking for the Father's help, and at My praying not to be led into Temptation. That is, not to be left at the mercy of temptation beyond My strength. I think that that man will no longer be amazed, now that he knows. I ask you to do the same in My memory and to win as I did. And never doubt My nature of true Man and true God, seeing how strong I was in all the temptations of life, and how I won the battles of the five senses, of sensuality and of sentiments. Remember all of that. 11I promised to take you where it would be possible for you to know the Master... from the dawn of His day, a dawn which is as pure as the one which is now rising, to the noon of His life. 2980. 10 80. 11

The noon which I left to go and meet My human evening... I said to one of you: “I also prepared”; you now see it is true. I thank you for your company in the return to the place of My birth and the place of My penance. My first contacts with the world had sickened and depressed Me. It is too ugly. My soul has now been nourished with the lion's marrow: the union with the Father in prayer and solitude. And I can go back to the world and take My cross upon Me once again, the first cross of the Redeemer: the cross of the contact with the world. With the world, in which there are too few souls called Mary, called John... Now listen, and you in particular, John. We are going back to­ wards My Mother and our friends. I beg you not to mention to My Mother the harshness which has been opposed to the love of Her Son. She would suffer too much. She will suffer so much because of man's cruelty... but do not let us give Her the chalice now. It will be so bitter when it is given to Her! So bitter that it will creep like poison into Her holy viscera and veins and will gnash them and freeze Her heart. Oh! Do not tell My Mother that Beth­ lehem and Hebron rejected Me like a dog! Have mercy on Her! You, Simon, are old and good, and thoughtful as you are, you will not speak, I know. You, Judas, are a Judaean, and will not speak out of patriotic pride. But you, John, are a Galilean, and young, do not commit a sin of pride, criticism and cruelty. Be silent. La­ ter... later you will tell the rest what I now ask you to be silent about. There is already so much to be said about Christ. Why add to it what is Satan's work against Christ? My dear friends, do you promise Me that? » «Oh! Master! We do promise. Be certain of it. » «Thank you. Let us go to that small oasis. There is a spring, a well full of cold water and there is shade and greenery. The road towards the river passes near it. We shall find food and refresh­ ment till evening. By starlight, we will reach the river, the ford. And we will wait for Joseph or join him if he is already back. Let us go. » And they set out while the first pinkish hue in the sky, in the east, announces the rising of a new day. 30

81. On the ford of the Jordan river. Meeting with the shepherds Simeon, John and Matthias. A plan to free the Baptist. 18th January 1945. 1I see the Jordan ford once again: the green road coasting the river on both banks, beaten by many travellers on account of its shade. Lines of little donkeys come and go, as well as many people. On the bank of the river, three men are pasturing a few sheep. Joseph is on the road, waiting, and he looks up and down. Jesus appears in the distance, with His three disciples, at the junction of the river path with the main road. Joseph calls the shepherds, who lead the sheep onto the road, driving them along the grassy bank. They walk fast towards Jesus. «I haven't got the courage... What shall I say to greet Him? » «Oh! He is so good! Say: “Peace be with You”. He always says that. » «Yes, He... but we... » «And what about me? I am not even one of His first worship­ pers. and He is so fond of me... oh! so fond! » «Which one is it? » «The tallest One, with fair hair. » «Matthias, will we tell Him of the Baptist? » «Of course we will! » «Will He not think that we preferred the Baptist to Him? » «No, Simeon. If He is the Messiah, He can see into the hearts of men, and in ours He will see that in the Baptist we were still looking for Him. » «Yes, you are right. » The two groups are now a few yards apart. Jesus is already smiling His smile that cannot be described. Joseph hastens his step. Also the sheep begin to run urged by the herdsmen. «Peace be with you» says Jesus raising His arms as if He were embracing them. And He specifies: «Peace to you, Simeon, John and Matthias, faithful to Me, and faithful to John the Prophet! Peace to you, Joseph» and He kisses him on his cheeks. The other three are now on their knees. «Come, My friends. Under these trees, on the river-bank and let us talk. »81. 1 31

81. 2 81. 3They go down and Jesus sits on a large protruding root, the others on the ground. Jesus smiles and looks at them intently, one by one: «Let Me become familiar with your faces. Your souls are already known to Me, souls that seek and love what is good contrary to all worldly yearnings. Isaac, Elias and Levi send you their regards, and there are other greetings, from My Mother. 2Have You any news of the Baptist? » The men, so far gagged by embarrassment, take heart. They find their words at last: «He is still in jail. Our hearts tremble for him, because he is in the hands of a cruel man who is dominated by an infernal creature and is surrounded by a corrupted court. We love him... You know that we love him and that he deserves our love. After you left Bethlehem, we were persecuted by men... but we were distressed and disheartened because we had lost You, rather than by their hatred, and we were like trees uproot­ ed by the wind. Then, after years of suffering, like a man, whose eyelashes have been stitched, endeavours to see the sun, but can­ not, also because he is closed in a prison, but feels the warmth of the sun on his body, we felt that the Baptist was the man of God, foreseen by the Prophets to prepare the way to His Christ and we went to him. We said: “If the Baptist precedes Him, if we go to the Baptist, we will find Him. ” Because, my Lord, it was You we were looking for. » «I know, and you found Me. And now I am with you. » «Joseph told us that You came to the Baptist. But we were not there on that day. Perhaps he had sent us somewhere. We served him, in spiritual matters, when he asked us, with so much love, and we listened to him with love, although he was so severe, be­ cause he was not You — the Word— but he always spoke words of God. » 3«I know. And do you know this man? » and He points to John. «We saw him with the other Galileans in the crowds that were most faithful to the Baptist. And, if we are not mistaken, you are the one whose name is John, and of whom he used to say to us, his closest disciples: “Here: I am the first, he is the last. And then: he will be the first and I the last”. But we never understood what he meant. » Jesus turns round to His left side where John is and He draws him against His heart and with a most kind smile He explains: 32

«He meant that he was the first to say: “Here is the Lamb” and that John here will be the last of the friends of the Son of man, to speak of the Lamb to the crowds; but that in the heart of the Lamb, John is the first, because he is dearer than any other man to the Lamb. That is what he meant. But when you see the Bap­ tist — You will see him again, and you will serve him again un­ til the predetermined hour — tell him that he is not the last in Christ's heart. Not so much because of the blood, as on account of his holiness, he is loved as much as John. And remember that. If the saint in his humbleness proclaims himself “last”, the Word of God proclaims him equal to the disciple who is dear to Me. Tell him that I love this disciple because he has the same name and because I find in him the signs of the Baptist, who prepares the souls for Christ. » «We will tell him... But shall we see him again? » «Yes, you will. » 4«Yes, Herod dare not kill him for fear of the people and at his 81. 4 court, which is full of greed and corruption, it would be easy to free him if we had a lot of money. But, although there is quite a lot — because friends have given a lot — there is still a lot missing. And we are afraid we will not be in time... and he may be killed. » «How much do you think you need for the ransom? » «Not for his ransom, Lord. He is hated too much by Hero­ dias and she has too much control of Herod, to think of the pos­ sibility of a ransom. But I think that all the greedy people of the kingdom have gathered at Machaerus. Everybody is anxious to have a good time and stand out, from the ministers down to the servants. And to do that, they need money... We have also found who would let the Baptist out for a large sum of money. Perhaps also Herod would prefer that... because he is afraid. Not for any other reason. He is afraid of the people and afraid of his wife. In that way, he could please the people, and his wife could not ac­ cuse him of disappointing her. » «And how much does that person want? » «Twenty silver talents. But we have only twelve and a half. » 5«Judas, you said that those jewels are beautiful. » 81. 5 «Yes, beautiful and valuable. » «How much will they be worth? I think you are an expert. » «Yes, I am a good judge. Why do You want to know how much 33

they are worth, Master? Do You want to sell them? Why? » «Perhaps... Tell Me: how much will they be worth? » «At least six talents, if they are sold well. » «Are you sure? » «Yes, Master. The necklace by itself, so big and heavy, of the purest gold, is worth at least three talents. I have examined it carefully. And also the bracelets... I don't know how Aglae's thin wrists could hold them. » «They were her shackles, Judas. » «That's true, Master... But so many would like to have such beautiful shackles! » «Do you think so? Who? » «Well... many people! » «Yes, many who are human beings only by name... And do you know a possible buyer? » «So, do You want to sell them? And is it for the Baptist? But look, it's cursed gold! » «Oh! Human inconsistency! You have just said with evident desire, that many people would love to have that gold, and then you say it is cursed?! Judas, Judas!... It is cursed indeed. But she said: “It will be sanctified if it is cursed for poor and holy peo- ple” and that is why she relinquished it, whoever benefits from it may pray for her poor soul which like the embryo of a future butterfly swells in the seed of her heart. Who is holier and poorer than the Baptist? He is equal to Elijah in his mission but greater than Elijah in holiness. He is poorer than I am. I have a Mother and a home... And when one has such things, and pure and holy as I have, one is never forlorn. He no longer has a home, and he has not even got the tomb of his mother. Everything has been vi­ 81. 6 olated and desecrated by human iniquity. 6So who is the buyer? » «There is one in Jericho and there are many in Jerusalem. But the one in Jericho!!! He is a shrewd Levantine gold-beater, a usu­ rer, a middleman, a pander, he is certainly a thief, probably a killer, he is definitely persecuted by Rome. He has changed his name to Isaac, to be considered a Hebrew... But his real name is Diomedes. I know him very well... » «Yes, we see that! » intervenes Simon Zealot, who speaks lit­ tle, but notices everything. And he asks: «How come you know him so well? » 34

«Well,... you know... In order to please certain mighty friends. I went to see him... and did some business... You know... we of the Temple... » «I know... you do all sorts of jobs» Simon ends with cold iro­ ny. Judas flares up, but keeps silent. «Will he buy? » asks Jesus. «I think so. He has plenty money. Of course, one must be skil­ ful in selling because the Greek is shrewd and if he realizes he is dealing with an honest person, with a nestling dove, he plucks him mercilessly. But if he has to deal with a vulture like him­ self... » «You ought to go, Judas. You are the right man. You are as sly as a fox and as raptorial as a vulture. Oh! Forgive me, Master. I spoke before You! » says Simon Zealot again. «I am of the same opinion, and I will therefore tell Judas to go. John, you will go with him. We will meet again at sunset, and the meeting place will be the market square. Go. And do your best. » Judas gets up at once. John's eyes are imploring like a chas­ tened puppy's. But Jesus is speaking to the shepherds and does not notice John's imploring look. And John sets out behind Judas. 7«I would like to see you happy» says Jesus. «You will always make us happy, Master. May God bless You for it. Is that man a friend of Yours? » «Yes, he is. Do you think he should not be? » The shepherd John lowers his head, and keeps silent. Simon, the disciple, speaks: «Only who is good, can see. I am not good, and therefore I do not see what Bounty sees. I see the exterior. He who is good penetrates into the interior too. You, John, see as I do. But the Master is good... and sees... » «What do you see in Judas, Simon? I want you to tell Me. » «Well, when I look at him, I think of certain mysterious plac­ es which look like dens of wild beasts and malarial ponds. Only a huge tangle can be seen and one is frightened and keeps clear... Instead... behind it there are turtle-doves and nightingales and the soil is rich in healthy waters and beneficial herbs. I want to believe that Judas is like that... I think he must be, because You chose him. And You know... » «Yes, I know... There are many flaws in the heart of that81. 7 35

man... But he has some good points. You saw that yourself in Bethlehem and in Kerioth. And his good points which are hu­ manly good are to be raised to a spiritual goodness. Judas will then be as you would like him to be. He is young... » «Also John is young... » «And in your heart, you conclude that he is better. But John is John! Love poor Judas, Simon, I beg you. If you love him,... he will appear to be better. » «I endeavour to love him, for Your sake. But he breaks all my efforts as if they were water canes... But, Master, there is only one law for me: to do what You want. I will therefore love Judas, although something within me shouts against him and towards myself. » «What, Simon? » «I do not know exactly what it is: something that resembles the cry of the night watchman... and says to me: “Do not sleep! Watch! ” I do not know. That something has no name. But it is here... in me, against him. » «Forget about it, Simon. Do not worry about giving it a defi­ nition. It is better not to know certain truths... and you might be mistaken. Leave it to your Master. Give Me your love, and you can be sure that it makes Me happy... » And it all ends. 82. In Jericho. The Iscariot tells of how he sold Aglae's jewels. 19th January 1945. 1The market place in Jericho. It is not morning, but evening: a very warm summer evening at sunset. There are only traces of the morning market: remains of vegetables, heaps of excre­ ment, straw fallen from donkeys' baskets and rags... All is cov­ ered with flies and in the heat of the sun ferments and stinks dis­ gustingly. The large square is empty. There are few passers-by, some quarrelsome urchins throwing stones at the birds perched on the trees. Some women go to the fountain. Nothing else. Jesus arrives from a side street and looks around. He does not see anybody yet. He waits patiently, leaning against the trunk of 3682. 1

a tree, and finds the opportunity of speaking to the boys about charity, that starts with God and from the Creator descends to all creatures. «Do not be cruel. Why do you want to annoy the birds of the air? They have their nests up there, and their little ones. They do not harm anyone. They give us their chirping and cleanliness, because they eat the rubbish left by men and the insects that are harmful to crops and fruit. Why wound them, or kill them, de­ priving the little ones of their fathers and mothers, or the latter of their little ones? Would you be glad if a wicked man came to your house and destroyed it, or killed your parents, or took you away from them? No, you would not be happy. Well, then, why do to these innocent creatures what you would not like done to yourselves? How will you refrain one day from doing harm to men if, children as you are now, you harden your hearts and hurt defenceless, kind little creatures such as these birds? Do you not know that the Law says: “Love your neighbour as yourself”? He who does not love his neighbour does not even love God. And he who does not love God, how can he go to His House and pray to Him? God might say to him, and he does say it in Heaven: “Go away. I do not know you. You, My son? No, you are not. You do not love your brothers, you do not respect in them the Father Who created them, so you are not a brother and a son, but an illegiti­ mate child: a stepson to God, a stepbrother to your brothers”. See how the Eternal Lord loves? In the cold months, He makes His little birds find the barns full of hay, so that they may nest there. In the hot months, He protects them from the sun with the foliage of trees. In winter the corn in the fields is just covered with earth and it is easy for them to find the seed and nourish themselves. In summer they quench their thirst with the juice of fruits, and they build solid, warm nests with hay and the wool left on brambles by sheep. And He is the Lord. You, little men, created by Him like the little birds, and therefore their brothers in creation, why do you want to differ from Him and think that you can be cruel to these little animals? Be merciful with every­ body, not depriving anyone of what is due to one: both amongst men and animals, your servants, your friends and God... » «Master? » calls Simon «Judas is coming. » «... and God will be merciful with you, and will give you eve-37

82. 2rything you need, as He does with these innocent creatures. Go and take the peace of God with you. » 2Jesus makes His way through the boys and some of the adults who had joined them, and goes towards Judas and John, who are coming from another street. Judas is jubilant. John smiles at Je­ sus... but does not seem very happy. «Come, come, Master. I think I have done well. But come with me. It is not possible to speak here in the street. » «Where, Judas? » «To the inn. I have already booked four rooms... oh! nothing special, don't worry. Only to rest in a bed after so much dis­ comfort in all this heat, and to have a meal like men and not like birds perched on branches, and also to talk in peace. I sold the jewels very well, didn't I, John? » John nods in assent but not very enthusiastically. But Judas is so pleased with his work that he does not notice either that Jesus is not very happy at the prospect of comfortable lodgings or that John is even less enthusiastic about his transactions. And he goes on: «As I had sold at a higher price than I had estimated, I said: “It is fair that I should take a small amount, one hundred coins, for our beds and meals. If we are exhausted, alth ough we always had something to eat, Jesus must be completely worn out”. I am obliged to ensure that my Master is not taken ill! An obligati on of love, because You love me, and I love You... There is room also for you and the sheep» he says to the shepherds. «I have seen to everything. » Jesus does not say one word. He follows him with the others. They arrive in a smaller square. Judas says: «See that house without any windows opening on the street and with such a nar­ row little door that it looks like a crack? It's Diomedes, the gold­ beater's house. It looks like a poor house, doesn't it? But there is enough gold in there to buy the whole of Jeri cho and... ah! ah! » Judas laughs maliciously... «amongst all that gold many jewels and plates can be found, as well as other things, belonging to the most influential people in Israel. Diomedes... oh! they all pretend they do not know him, whereas they are all acquaint­ ed with him: from the Herodians down to... to everybody. On that plain, smooth wall, one could write: “Mystery and Secret”. If those walls could speak! Then you would not be scandalised 38

at the way I negotiated this business, John! You... you would die, choked with amazement and scruples. By the way, listen, Master. Never send me again with John on certain business. He almost ruined everything. He cannot take a hint, he cannot deny things, whereas with shrewd men like Diomedes one must be quick and outspoken. » John grumbles: «You were saying certain things. So unfore­ seen and so... so... Yes, Master. Do not send me again. I am only good at being kind and loving... I... » «It is most unlikely that we shall ever need such transactions again» answers Jesus, very seriously. «That is the hotel over there. Come, Master. I will do the talk­ ing, because I arranged everything. » 3They go in, and Judas speaks to the landlord, who has the sheep taken to a stable, while he himself takes the guests into a little room where there are two mat-beds, some chairs and a ta­ ble already laid. He then withdraws. «I will tell you what happened at once, Master, while the shepherds are settling the sheep. » «I am listening. » «John can say whether I am telling the truth. » «I do not doubt it. No oath or witness is required among hon­ est men. Tell Me. » «We arrived in Jericho at midday. We were wet with perspira­ tion, like pack-animals. I did not want to give Diomedes the im­ pression that I was in urgent need. So first of all, I came here, I refreshed myself, I put on clean clothes, and I got John to do the same. Oh! He would not hear of having his hair sorted and per­ fumed. But I had made out my plans, on my way here!... When it was almost evening, I said: “Let's go”. By that time, we were well rested and fresh like two wealthy people on a pleasure trip. When we were about to arrive at Diomedes' abode, I said to John: “Always agree to what I say. Do not contradict me, and be quick in taking a hint”. But I should have left him outside! He did not help at all. On the contrary... Fortunately, I am as quick as two people, and I managed. The exciseman was coming out of his house. “Very well! ” I said. “If he is coming out, we will find the money and what I want to make a comparison”. Because the exciseman, being82. 3 39

a usurer and a thief like all his kind, always has necklaces ta­ ken with threats and usury from the poor people whom he tax­ es more than is fair, in order to have plenty to spend in feasting and women. And he is very friendly with Diomedes, who buys and sells gold and flesh... We went in after I had made myself known. I said: we went in. Because there is a difference between going into the entrance hall, where he pretends to be doing an honest job, and going down into the underground room, where he does his real business. One must be well known to him to be introduced there. As soon as he saw me, he said: “Do you want to sell more gold? We are going through hard times, and I have little money”. His usual old story. I replied: “I have not come to sell, but to buy. Have you any jewels for a lady? But they must be beautiful, valuable, heavy, in pure gold! ” Diomedes was amazed. And he asked me: “Do you want a woman? ” “Never mind that” I replied to him. “They are not for me. They are for this friend of mine who is getting married and wishes to buy the jewels for his beloved bride”. At this point, John began to behave like a child. Diomedes, who was looking at him, saw him turn purple, and being a filthy old man, he said: “Ah! the boy has only heard the mention of his bride, and he is on heat. Is your woman very beautiful? ” he asked. I kicked John to rouse him, and to make him understand not to behave foolishly. But he replied “Yes” as if he had been stran­ gled and Diomedes became suspicious. Then I spoke: 'Whether she is beautiful or not is none of your business, old man. She will never be one of the women on account of whom you will go to hell. She is an honest virgin, and will soon be an honest wife. Show us your gold. I am his best man and it is my task to help the young man... I am a Judaean citizen”. “He is a Galilean, is he not? ” Your hair always gives you away. “Is he rich? ” “Yes, very”. We then went downstairs, and Diomedes opened his coffers and treasure-chests. But tell the truth, John. Did we not seem to be in Heaven with all the jewels and all the gold? Necklac­ es, wreaths, bracelets, earrings, hairnets of gold and precious stones, hairpins, buckles, rings... ah! what magnificence! With much haughtiness, I picked a necklace more or less like Aglae's, and rings, buckles, bracelets, everything like I had in my bag, and the same quantity. Diomedes was surprised and he kept ask­ 40

ing: “What! Some more? But who is this man? And who is the bride? A princess? ” When I had everything I wanted, I said: “The price? ”. Oh! What a chain of preparatory moaning on the times, taxes risks, thieves! And another chain of assurances on his honesty! And then his reply: “Just because it's you, I'll tell you the truth. Without any exaggeration. But not even one penny less. I want twelve silver talents”. “Thief! ” I said. And I went on: “Let's go, John. In Jerusalem we will find someone who is not such a thief as he is” and I pretended I was going out. He ran after me. “My great friend, my beloved friend, come, listen to your poor serv­ ant. I cannot accept less. It's impossible. Look. I'll make an effort at the cost of ruining myself. I'll do it because you have always honoured me with your friendship, and you made me do good business. Eleven talents, there you are. That is what I would pay if I had to buy that gold from someone starving. Not a penny less. It would be like bleeding my veins”. Is that not what he said? He made me laugh and he disgusted me at the same time. When I saw he was quite determined on the price, I pulled a fast one on him. “Dirty old rascal. Bear in mind that I do not want to buy, on the contrary, I want to sell. This is what I want to sell. Look. It is as beautiful as yours. Gold from Rome in the latest fashion. It will sell immediately. You can have it for eleven talents. Exactly what you asked for yours. You fixed the price, and you pay”. You should have heard him. “This is treachery! You betrayed the esteem I held you in! You want to ruin me! I cannot pay all that! ” he shouted. “You appraised its value. So pay! ” “I cannot”. “Look, I'll take it to somebody else”. “No, my friend, don't”, and he stretched out his hooked hands towards Aglae's heap of gold. “Well, then, pay: I should ask for twelve tal­ ents. But I will be satisfied with the last price you asked”. “I can­ not”. “Usurer! Look, I have a witness here and I can report you as a thief... ” and I mentioned other virtues of his which I will not repeat on account of this boy... At last, as I was anxious to sell and settle the matter quickly, I whispered a promise in his ear, something that I will not keep... What weight has a promise made to a thief? And I sealed the bar­ gain at ten and a half. We came away while he was crying and offering his friendship and... women. And John was almost in 41

82. 4tears. What does it matter if they think you are a depraved man! Nothing, providing you are not. Don't you know that the world is like that, and that you are a failure in the world? A young man who has not had any experience of women? Who do you think will believe you? Or if they believe you, well! I would not like them to think of me what they may think of you, if they believe you do not desire women. Here, Master. Count them Yourself. I had a pile of coins. But I went to the exciseman and I said to him: “Take this rubbish and give me the talents Isaac gave you”. That was the last bit of in­ formation I got after closing the matter. 4But the last thing I said to Isaac-Diomedes was: “Remember that the Judas of the Tem­ ple no longer exists. Now I am the disciple of a holy man. Pre­ tend therefore that you never met me, if your life is dear to you”. And I was on the point of wringing his neck because he gave me a sharp answer. » «What did he say to you? » asks Simon, coldly. «He said: “You, the disciple of a holy man? I will never believe it, or I will soon see your holy man here, asking for a woman”. He said: “Diomedes is an old disgrace of the world. But you are a new one. And I may still change, because I became what I am when I was old. But you will not change. You were born like that”. Filthy old man! He denies Your power, see? » «And being a good Greek, he speaks the truth. » «What do you mean, Simon? Are you referring to me? » «No. I am referring to everyone. He is a man who knows gold and men's hearts the same way. He is a thief, the most filthy of all the filthy trades. But one perceives in him the philosophy of the great Greeks. He knows man, the animal with seven sinful jaws, the octopus that suffocates goodness, honesty, love and many other things, both in itself and in others. » «But he does not know God. » «And would you like to teach him? » «Yes, I would. Why? It's the sinners that need to know God. » «True. But... the Master must know Him to teach Him. » «And do I not know Him? » «Peace, My friends. The shepherds are coming. Do not let us upset their souls with our quarrels. Have you counted the mon­ ey? That is enough. Fulfil all your actions as you fulfilled this 42

one, and I repeat it once again, in future, if you can, do not tell lies, not even to accomplish a good deed. » 5The shepherds come in. «My friends. Here are ten and a half talents. The amount is short of one hundred coins which Judas has kept for the inn ex­ penses. Take them. » «Are You giving them all? » asks Judas. «Yes, every penny. I do not want a forthing of that money. We have the offerings of God and of those who honestly seek God... and we shall never lack what is necessary. Believe Me. Take the money and be happy, as I am, for the Baptist. Tomorrow, you will go towards his prison. Two of you: that is John and Matthias. Simeon and Joseph will go to Elias to report to him and to be taught for the future. Elias knows. Later, Joseph will come back with Levi. The meeting place, in ten days time, is at the Fish Gate in Jerusalem, at sunrise. And now, let us eat and rest. Tomorrow, at dawn, I will leave with My disciples. I have nothing else to tell you for the time being. Later, you will hear from Me. » And everything fades out while Jesus is breaking the bread. 83. Jesus suffers on account of Judas, who is a living lesson for the apostles of all times. 20th January 1945. 1The country where Jesus is, is very fertile. There are magnif­ 83. 1 icent orchards and vineyards, with huge bunches of grapes be­ ginning to turn gold or ruby. Jesus is sitting in an orchard, and is eating some fruit offered to Him by a farmer. Perhaps He has just finished speaking, because the man says to Him: «It's a pleasure for me, Master, to quench Your thirst. Your disciple had spoken to us of Your wisdom, nevertheless, we were astonished when we listened to You. Close as we are to the Holy City, we often go there to sell our fruit and vegetables, and we then go up to the Temple and listen to the rabbis. But they do not speak as You do. We used to come away saying: “If that is so, who will tie saved? ” With You, it is entirely different! Oh! We seem to be so light-hearted! Although adults, we feel like chil­ dren in our hearts. I am a... rough man and I am not good at 4382. 5

making myself understood. But I am sure You understand me! » «Yes, I do. You mean that, although you have an adult's knowl­ edge and maturity after listening to the Word of God, You feel simplicity, faith and purity revive in your heart, as if you were a child once again, without fault or malice, but with so much faith, as when you were taken to the Temple for the first time by your mother, or you prayed on her knees. That is what you mean. » «Yes, that, just that. You are fortunate because you are always with Him» he then says to John, Simon and Judas who are sitting on a low wall, eating juicy figs. And he ends by saying: «And I 83. 2 am honoured because You were my guest for one night. 2I am not afraid of any misfortune in my house, because You have blessed it. » Jesus replies: «A blessing is efficient and lasting if the souls of men are faithful to the Law of God and to My doctrine. On the contrary, grace comes to an end. And it is only fair. Because if it is true that God grants sunshine and fresh air to the good and to the bad, that they may live, and that they may become better if they are good, and they may be converted if they are bad, it is also just that the Father's protection should turn elsewhere as a punishment for the wicked, to remind them of God, by means of some pain. » «Is pain not always evil? » «No, My friend, It is evil from a human point of view, but from a supernatural one it is good. It increases the merits of just peo­ ple, who accept it without despairing or rebelling and they offer it, as they offer themselves with resignation, as a sacrifice to ex­ piate their own imperfections and the faults of the world, and it is a redemption for those who are not good. » «It is so difficult to suffer! » says the farmer, who has been joined by his relatives, about ten people in all, adults and chil­ dren. «I know that man finds it difficult. And knowing that he would find it so difficult, the Father had not given His children any sorrow. It came due to sin. But how long does sorrow last on the earth? In the life of a man? A short time. It is always short, even if it lasts a whole lifetime. Now I say: is it not better to suf­ fer for a short time rather than forever? Is it not better to suffer here than in Purgatory? Consider that time there is multiplied 44

one thousand fold. Oh! I solemnly tell you: you ought not to curse pain, but bless it, and you should call it “grace” and “mercy”. » «Oh! Your words, Master! They are as pleasant to us as hon­ eyed water from a cool amphora is to a man parched with thirst in summer. Are You really going away tomorrow, Master? » «Yes, I am going tomorrow. But I will come back again. To thank you for what you have done for Me and My friends, and to ask you for some more bread and rest. » «You will always find them here, Master. » 3A man with a donkey laden with vegetables approaches. «Here I am. If your friend wishes to go... My son is going to Jerusalem for the big Parasceve market. » «Go, John. You know what you have to do. In four days time we will meet again. My peace be with you. » Jesus embraces John and kisses him. Simon does the same. «Master» says Judas. «If You will allow me, I would like to go with John. I am anxious to see a friend of mine. He goes to Jeru­ salem every Sabbath. I would go with John as far as Bethphage and then I will proceed on my own... He is a friend of our fam­ ily... You know... my mother told me... » «I did not ask you anything, My friend. » «It breaks my heart having to leave You. But in four days' time I will be with You once again. And I will be so faithful that I will even bore You. » «You may go. In four days time, at dawn, be at the Fish Gate. Goodbye and may God watch over you. » Judas kisses the Master and goes near the little donkey that begins to trot along the dusty road. It is evening and the country becomes silent. Simon watches the peasants watering their fields. 4Jesus has not moved from the place where He was sitting. He then gets up, goes round to the back of the house, and walks along the orchard. He wants to be alone. He goes as far as a thicket of huge pomegranate trees and low bushes, which I think must be gooseberries. But I am not sure, because there are no berries on them and I am not familiar with the leaves of these plants. Jesus hides behind the thicket. He kneels down. He prays... and then He bends down with His face on the ground, on the grass and He weeps. I realise that He is crying because of His deep, interrupt-83. 3 83. 4 45

83. 5ed sighs. A disheartened crying, without sobs, but so sad. Some time passes in this way. It is now twilight. But it is not yet so dark as to prevent seeing. And in the faint light Simon's dis­ figured but honest face suddenly appears above a bush. He looks around for something and sees the crouched figure of the Master, completely covered by His dark blue mantle which confuses Him with the dark ground. Only His fair hair and His hands joined in prayer catch his eye: His hands protrude above His head which rests on His wrists. Simon looks at Him with his large kind eyes. He understands that Jesus is sad because of His sighing and he utters: «Master», with his thick almost purple lips. Jesus looks up. «You are crying, Master? Why? May I come near You? » Si­ mon's expression is one of astonishment and sorrow. He is def­ initely not a handsome man. In addition to his disfigured fea­ tures and his dark olive complexion, he bears the deep bluish marks of the scars caused by his disease. But his glance is so gen­ tle that his ugliness disappears. «Come, Simon, My friend. » Jesus is sitting on the grass. Simon sits beside Him. «Why are You sad, Master? I am not John and I am not capable of giving You what John gives you. But I would like to give You every possible comfort, and I am only sorry that I am not able to do so. Tell me. Have I hurt You these last few days to the extent that it depresses You to stay with me? » «No. My good friend. You have never hurt Me since the first moment I saw you. And I think you will never cause Me to shed tears. » «Well, then, Master? I am not worthy of Your confidence. But, on account of my age, I could be Your father and You know how anxious I have always been to have children... Allow me to ca­ ress You as if You were my son and let me be a father and mother to You in this hour of pain. It is Your Mother that You are in need of to forget so many things... » «Oh! Yes! It is My Mother! » «Well, while waiting to have comfort in Her, grant Your serv­ ant the joy of consoling You. 5You are crying, Master, because someone has hurt You. For several days Your face has been like the sun darkened by clouds. I have been watching You. Your 46

goodness hides the wound, that we may not hate him who wounds You. But the wound is a painful and abhorrent one. But tell me, my Lord: why do You not remove the source of Your pain? » «Because it would be useless from a human point of view and it would not be charitable. » «Ah! You are aware that I am speaking of Judas! It is because of him that You are suffering. How can You, the Truth, tolerate that liar? He lies shamelessly. He is more deceitful than a fox and more closed than a rock. He has now gone away. What for? How many friends has he got? I am sorry to leave You. But I would like to follow him and see... Oh! My Jesus! That man... send him away, my Lord. » «It is useless. What is to be, shall be. » «What do You mean? » «Nothing special. » «You were pleased to let him go, because You were disgusted with his behaviour at Jericho. » «It is true, Simon. I tell you once again: what is to be, shall be. And Judas is part of this future. He is to be there, too. » «But John told me that Simon Peter is very frank and full of ardour... Will he put up with Judas? » «He must stand him. Also Peter is destined for a part, and Judas is the canvas on which he must weave his part, or, if you prefer so, Judas is the school where Peter will learn more than with anyone else. Also idiots are capable of being good with John and understanding souls like John's. But it is difficult to be good with people like Judas, and to understand souls like Judas' and to be a doctor and priest for them. Judas is your living teachings «Ours? » «Yes. Yours. The Master will not be on the earth forever. He will leave after eating the hardest bread and drinking the most sour wine. But you will stay to continue Me... and you must know. Because the world does not end with the Master. It will last longer, until the final return of Christ and the final judge­ ment of man. And I solemnly tell you that forevery John, Peter, Simon, James, Andrew, Philip, Bartholomew, Thomas, there are at least seven Judases. And many, many more!... » Simon is thoughtful and silent. He then says: «The shepherds are good. Judas scorns them. But I love them. » 47

83. 6 83. 7«I love them and praise them. » «They are simple souls, just like the ones You like. » «Judas has lived in town. » «His only excuse. But there are many people who have lived in towns, and yet... 6When will You come to my friend? » «Tomorrow, Simon. And I will come with pleasure, because we are by ourselves, just you and I. I believe he is a learned and experienced man, like you. » «And he suffers a lot... In his body and even more in his heart. Master... I would like to ask You a favour: if he does not speak to You of his grief, please do not ask him any question about his family. » «I will not. I am on the side of those who suffer, but I do not force anybody's confidence. Tears deserve respect. » «And I did not respect them... But I felt so sorry for You... » «You are My friend and you have already given a name to My sorrow. I am an unknown Rabbi for your friend. When he knows Me... then... Let us go. It is dark. Do not let us keep our tired guests waiting. Tomorrow at dawn we will go to Bethany. » 7Jesus then says: «My little John, how many times have I cried with My face on the ground because of men! And you would like to be less than Me? Also amongst you, good people are in the proportion that existed between good people and Judas. And the better one is, the more one suffers. But also for you it is necessary to learn by studying Judas, and I say that particularly for those who are re­ sponsible for the spiritual care of souls. Each of you, priests, is a “Peter”. And you have to forgive and retain. But how much power of observation you must have, how much union with God, what great pains you must take and how many comparisons with the method of the Master you must make, in order to be a priest as it is your duty to be! Some people may think that what I am saying is useless, hu­ man, impossible. They are the usual people who deny the human phases of Jesus' life and they make of Me a being so remote from human life as to be only a divine being. What happens then to the most holy Humanity, to the sacrifice of the Second Person 48

in becoming flesh? Oh! I was truly a Man amongst men. I was the Man. And that is why I suffered in seeing the traitor and un­ grateful people. That is why I rejoiced on account of those who loved Me or were converted to Me. That is why I shuddered and cried before Judas' spiritual corpse. I shuddered and cried before My dead friend. But I knew that I would call him back to life and I rejoiced seeing his soul already in Limbo. Here... I had the De­ mon in front of Me. And I will say no more; Follow Me, John. Let us give men also this gift. And then... Blessed are those who listen to the Word of God and strive to do what it says. Blessed are those who want to know Me in order to love Me. In them and to them I shall be a blessing. » 84. The meeting with Lazarus of Bethany. 21st January 1945. 1It is a very clear summer dawn. Rather than dawn, it is early morning, because the sun is already above the horizon and is ris­ ing higher and higher smiling at the smiling earth. Every stem is sparkling with dew. All the night stars seem to have turned into gold and gem dust for all the stems and all the leaves; even for the stones strewn on the ground, the silicious chips of which, wet with dew, seem diamond powder or gold dust. Jesus and Simon are walking along a little road which de­ parts from the main one at a sharp angle like a V. They are go­ ing towards magnificent orchards and fields of flax as tall as a man, almost ready to be cut. Other fields, farther away, show on­ ly large bright red spots of poppies amongst the yellow stubble. «We are already in the property of my friend. You can see, Master, that the distance was within the prescription of the Law. I would never take the liberty of deceiving You. Behind that ap­ ple-orchard there is the garden wall and the house. I made You come along this short cut to be within the prescribed mile. » «Your friend is very wealthy! » «Yes, very. But he is not happy. He owns property elsewhere. » «Is he a Pharisee? » «His father was not. He... is very observant. I told You: a true Israelites. »84. 1 49

84. 2They walk a little farther. There is a high wall, and beyond it, trees and trees, with the house just emerging through them. There is a rise in the ground here, which, however, does not al­ low one to see the garden, so vast that we would call it a park. They go round the corner. The wall runs level and from its top entwined branches of roses and sweet smelling jasmins hang, splendid in their dewy corollas. 2There is the heavy wrought- iron gate. Simon knocks with the heavy bronze knocker. «It is too early to go in, Simon» remarks Jesus. «Oh! My friend gets up at sunrise, as he finds comfort only in his garden or in books. Night is a torture for him. Please do not delay further to give him Your joy. » A servant opens the gate. «Good morning, Aseus. Tell your master that Simon Zealot has come with his Friend. » The servant runs away after letting them in, saying: «Your servant greets you. Come in, Lazarus' house is open to his friends. » Simon, who is familiar with the place, does not go to the cen­ tral path, but he turns along a path running in the direction of a jasmin bower between rose hedges. Shortly afterwards Lazarus comes forward from the bow­ er. He is thin and pale, as I have always seen him, and tall; his short hair is neither thick nor curly, while his little sparse beard is confined to the lower part of his chin. He is wearing a snow white linen garment, and walks with difficulty like one suffer­ ing from leg trouble. When he sees Simon he waves his hand affectionately and then, as best as he can, he runs towards Jesus and throws him­ self on his knees, bending down to the ground to kiss the hem of Jesus' tunic, saying: «I am not worthy of so much honour. But since Your holiness stoops to my misery, come, my Lord, come in and be the Master in my poor house. » «Rise, My friend. And receive My peace. » Lazarus gets up and kisses Jesus' hands and looks at Him with veneration not devoid of curiosity. They walk towards the house. «How anxiously have I waited for You, Master! Every morn­ ing, at dawn, I would say: “He will come today”, and every even-50

ing I said: “I have not seen Him today, either”. » «Why were you expecting Me so anxiously? » «Because... 3whom are we in Israel expecting, but You? » «And do you believe that I am the Expected One? » «Simon has never lied, neither is he a boy that gets excited over nothing. Age and sorrow have made him as mature as a wise man. In any case... even if he had not recognised Your true nature, Your deeds would have spoken and said that You are a “Saint”. He who accomplishes the deeds of God, must be a man of God. And You accomplish them. And You do things in a way that says how truly You are the Man of God. My friend came to You because of the fame of Your miracles and he received a miracle. And I know that Your way is strewn with miracles. Why, then, not believe that You are the Expected One? Oh! It is so sweet to be­ lieve what is good! We have to pretend to believe as good, many things which are good, for peace sake, because it would be use­ less to change them; many dubious words that seem adulation, praise, kindness of heart, and instead are sarcasm and blame, poison concealed by honey, we must pretend we believe them, al­ though we know they are poison, blame, sarcasm... we must do so because... it is not possible to do otherwise, and we are weak against a whole world which is strong, and we are alone against a whole world which is hostile to us... why, then, should we have difficulty in believing what is good? On the other hand the time is ripe and the signs of the time are here. What might still be miss­ ing to make belief certain and beyond all possible doubt, should be supplied by our anxiety to believe and to appease our hearts in the certainty that the expectation is finished and that the Re­ deemer has come, the Messiah is here... He Who will give peace to Israel, and to the children of Israel, Who will let us die without anguish, knowing that we have been redeemed, and will enable us to live without that nostalgic feeling for our dead ones... Oh! the dead! Why mourn their death, if not because, as they have no longer any children, they have not yet the Father and God? » «Has your father been dead long? » «Three years, and my mother seven... but I no longer la­ ment their deaths... I also would like to be where I hope they are awaiting Heaven. » «In which case you would not have the Messiah as your guest. »84. 3 51

«That is true. Now I am in a better position than they are, 84. 4 because I have You... and my heart is calmed by this joy. 4Come in, Master. Grant me the honour of making my house Yours. To­ day is the Sabbath and I cannot invite friends to honour You... » «Neither do I wish that. Today I am all for Simon's friend and Mine. » They go into a beautiful hall, where some servants are ready to receive them. «Please follow them» says Lazarus. «You will be able to refresh yourselves before the morning meal. » And while Jesus and Simon go into another room, Lazarus gives instruc­ tions to the servants. I can see that the house belongs to wealthy people and it is also a very refined one...... Jesus drinks some milk, which Lazarus insists on serving Him personally, before sitting at the table for the morning meal. I hear Lazarus addressing Simon and saying to him: «I have found the man who is willing to purchase your property, and to pay the price which your agent fixed as a fair one. He will not de­ duct one drachma. » «But is he willing to comply with my conditions? » «Yes, he is. He accepts everything, providing he gets the prop­ erty. And I am happy because at least I know who my neighbour is. However, as you do not want to be present at the transaction, so he also wishes to remain unknown to you. And I would ask you to yield to his request. » «I see no reason why I should not. You, my friend, will take my place... Whatever you do, is well done. It is enough for me that my faithful servant is not put out... Master, I am selling, and as far as I am concerned, I am happy that I have nothing more that may tie me to anything which is not Your service. But I have an old faithful servant, the only one left after my misfortune and, as I have already told You, he has always helped me during my iso­ lation, looking after my property, as if it were his own, and what is more, with the help of Lazarus, passing it off as his own, in or­ der to save it and thus subsidise me. Now it would not be fair if I should leave him homeless, now that he is old. I have decided that a small house, near the boundary of the property, should be his and that part of the money should be given to him for his future maintenance. Old people, You know, are like ivy: having lived al­ ways in one place, they suffer too much being torn away from it. 52

Lazarus wanted my servant with him, because he is good. But I preferred it this way. The old man will not suffer so much... » «You are good, too, Simon. 5If everybody were as just as you are, My mission would be easier... » remarks Jesus. «Do You find the world averse, Master? » asks Lazarus. «The world?... No. The strength of the world: Satan. If he were not the master of men's hearts and did not hold them in his possession, I would not find any resistance. But Evil is against Good, and I have to defeat evil in every man to put good into them... and they are not all willing... » «It is true. They are not willing! Master: what words do You use to convert and convince those who are sinful? Words of se­ vere reproach, like the ones that fill the history of Israel against guilty people, and the Precursor is the last to use them, or words of mercy? » «I use love and mercy. Believe Me, Lazarus, a loving glance has more power on those who have fallen, than a curse. » «And if love is mocked at? » «One must insist again. Insist to the very utmost. Lazarus, do you know of those lands where quicksands swallow unwary people? » «Yes, I do. I have read about them, because in my situation I read a lot, both out of enthusiasm and to pass the long sleepless hours at night. I know there are some in Syria and in Egypt, as well as some near the Chaldeans. And I know that they are like suckers. They suck what they catch. A Roman says they are the mouths of Hell, where pagan monsters live. Is that true? » «No, it is not true. They are only special formations of the earth. Olympus has nothing to do with them. People will stop believing in Olympus, and they will still exist, and the progress of mankind will only be able to give a more truthful explanation of the fact, but will not eliminate it. Now I say to you: since you read about them, you may also have read how a person who has fallen into them can be saved. » «Yes, by means of a rope thrown to the person, or by means of a pole or even a branch. Sometimes a small thing is sufficient to give a sinking man the minimum support to hold onto, and in ad­ dition, the necessary calm, without struggling, to await rescue. » «Well. A sinner, a man possessed, is one who has been swal­84. 5 53

84. 6lowed by a deceitful soil, the surface of which is covered with flowers, whereas underneath it is quicksand. Do you think that if a man knew what it means to give Satan the possession of even an atom of himself, he would do it? But he does not know... and after... Either the astonishment and the poison of Evil paralyse him, or drive him mad and to avoid the remorse of being lost he struggles, he clings to other sands, he stirs up huge waves with his rash movements, and thus hastens his own end. Love is the rope, the wire, the branch mentioned by you. We must insist, in­ sist... until it is caught. A word... forgiveness... a forgiveness greater than the fault... just to stop the sinking and await God's assistance. Lazarus, do you know the power of forgiveness? It brings God to assist the rescuer... 6Do you read much? » «Yes, I do. But I do not know whether I do the right thing. My disease and... and other things have deprived me of many of the delights of men... and now I have but the passion for flowers and books... For plants and also for horses... I know that I am criti­ cised for it. But how can I go to my estate in this condition (and he uncovers two huge legs all bandaged up) on foot or riding a mule? I must use a cart, and a fast one. That is why I bought some horses, of which I am now very fond, I admit. But if You tell me that that is wrong... I will have them sold. » «No, Lazarus. These are not corrupting things. What upsets the soul and drives away from God is cause of corruption. » «Now, Master. What I would like to know is this. I read a lot. I have but this comfort. I like to learn... I think that after all it is better to know than to do wrong, it is better to read than to do other things. But I do not read only our pages. I like to learn about the world of other peoples and I am attracted by Rome and Athens. Now, I am aware of the great evil that befell Israel when she became corrupted by the Assyrians and the Egyptians and of the great harm done to us by Hellenistic governments. I do not know whether a man can do himself the same harm that Judas* did himself and us, his children. What is Your opinion on the matter? I am anxious to be taught by You, as You are not a rabbi, but the wise and divine Word. » Jesus stares at him for a few seconds, His glance is penetrat­ * Judas: the reign, then called Judaea. 54

ing and distant at the same time. He seems to pierce Lazarus' opaque body and scrutinise his heart and penetrating even fur­ ther, He appears to see... I wonder what... At last He speaks: «Are you upset by what you read? Does it detach you from God and His Law? » «No, Master. On the contrary, it urges me to make compari­ sons between our true God and pagan falseness. I make com­ parisons and I meditate on the glories of Israel, her just people, the Patriarchs, the Prophets, and the questionable figures of oth­ er peoples' histories. I compare our philosophy, if we can call so the Wisdom that speaks in our sacred texts, with the poor Greek and Roman philosophies which contain sparks of fire, but not the blaze that burns and shines in the books of our Wise Men. And after, with greater veneration, I bow down with my soul to adore our God Who speaks in Israel through deeds, people and our books. » «Well, then, continue to read... It will help you to understand the pagan world... Continue. You may continue. There is no fer­ ment of evil or of spiritual gangrene in you. You, therefore, may read without any fear. The love you have for your God makes sterile the profane germ, that reading might spread in you. In all man's actions there is the possibility of good and of evil. It depends on how they are accomplished. Love is not a sin, if one loves in a holy way. Work is not a sin, if one works when it is the right time. To earn is not a sin, if one is satisfied with what is honest. To educate oneself is not a sin, providing the education does not kill the idea of God in us. Whereas it is a sin to serve at the altar, if one does it for one's own benefit. Are you convinced, Lazarus? » «Yes, Master. I asked other people the same question and they scorned me... But You give me light and peace. Oh! If every­ body heard You! Come, Master. Amongst the jasmins there is a cool breeze and silence. It is sweet to rest under their cool shade awaiting the evening. » They go out and it all finishes. 55

85. Jesus with Simon Zealot at the Temple, where the Iscariot is speaking, then on to Gethsemane. 85. 1 85. 222nd January 1945. 1Jesus is with Simon in Jerusalem. They make their way through a crowd of vendors and little donkeys that look like a procession in the street, and while doing so Jesus says: «Let us go up to the Temple before going to Gethsemane. We will pray for the Father in His House. » «Only that, Master? » «Only that. I cannot stay. Tomorrow at dawn there is the meeting at the Fish Gate, and if the crowd should insist, how could I be free to go there? I want to see the other shepherds. I will send them, as true shepherds, throughout Palestine, that they may gather the sheep together and the Owner of the sheep may be known, at least by name, so that when I pronounce that name, they may know that I am the Owner of the flock and they may come to Me to be caressed. » «It is sweet to have a Master like You! The sheep will love You. » «Yes, the sheep will... but not the billy-goats... After seeing Jonah, we shall go to Nazareth and then to Capernaum. Simon Peter and the others are suffering because of such a long ab­ sence... We will go to make them happy and to make ourselves happy. Also the summer season induces us to do that. Night is made to rest and those who prefer the knowledge of the Truth to a rest are too few. Man... Oh! Man! He forgets too easily that he has a soul and he thinks of and worries only about his body. The sun during the day is scorching. It prevents us from travelling and teaching in the squares and in the streets. It is so exhaust­ ing that it makes the Souls as drowsy as the bodies. So... let us go and teach My disciples. Let us go to sweet Galilee, rich in green fields and cool waters. 2Have you ever been there? » «I passed through once, in winter, during one of my painful pilgrimages from one doctor to another. I liked it... » «Oh! It is beautiful. Always. In winter and even more in the other seasons. Now, in summer, its nights are so angelical... Yes, they really seem made for the flights of angels, so pure they are. The lake... The lake surrounded by mountains, more or less close 56

to it, seems to be made just to speak of God to souls seeking God. It is a piece of the sky which has fallen into the green vegeta­ tion, and the vault of Heaven does not forsake it, but is reflected in it with its stars, which are thus multiplied... to be presented to the Creator strewn on a sapphire plate. The olive-trees reach down almost to its shores and are full of nightingales, and they also sing their praise to the Creator Who lets them live in such a sweet and placid place. And My Nazareth! All ready to be kissed by the sun, all white and green, charming, between the two giants of the Great and Small Hermon, and the pedestal of mountains supporting the Tabor: a pedestal with sweet green slopes, which raise their lord, often covered with snow, up towards the sun. The Tabor is so beautiful when the sun shines on its top, which then becomes pinkish alabaster, whereas on the other side, Mount Carmel is the hue of lapislazuli in certain hours of great heat, when all the veins of marbles or of waters, of forests and meadows, appear in their various hues; and it is like a gentle amethyst at daybreak. In the evening, instead, it is violet-sky beryl and is a solid block of sardonyx when the moon shows it all black in her milky-silver light. And further down, to the south, is the fertile flowery plain of Esdraelon. And then... then, oh! Simon! There is a Flower there! There is a Flower that lives solitary, fragrant with purity and love for Her God and Her Son! There is My Mother. You will meet Her, Simon, and then you will be able to tell Me whether there is a creature like Her, also in human grace, on the earth. She is beau­ tiful, but everything is surpassed by what emanates internally from Her. If a brute should divest Her of all Her clothes, should disfigure Her and send Her roving, She would still appear as a Queen in a royal dress, because Her holiness would cover Her as a mantle and confer splendour on Her. The world can give Me all possible evil, but I will forgive the world everything, because to come into the world and redeem it, I had Her, the humble and great Queen of the world, Whom the world does not know, but through Whom it has received Good and will receive still more throughout centuries. Here we are at the Temple. Let us keep the Judaic form of worship. But I solemnly tell you that the true House of God, the 57

85. 3 85. 4Holy Ark, is Her Heart, the veil of which is Her most pure flesh and its embroidery work are all Her virtues. » 3They have gone in and are walking through the first floor. They go through a porch, towards a second floor. «Master, look, there is Judas in that crowd of people. And there are also some Pharisees and members of the Sanhedrin. I am going to hear what he is saying. May I go? » «Go. I will wait for you at the Great Porch. » Simon walks away quickly and he stands where he can hear without being seen. Judas is speaking with firm belief: «... and there are people here whom you all know and respect, who can tell you who I was. Well, I tell you that He has changed me. I am the first redeemed. Many amongst you venerate the Baptist. He venerates him, too, and calls him “the saint equal to Elijah because of his mission, but even greater than Elijah”. Now, if the Baptist is such, He Whom the Baptist calls “the Lamb of God” and by his own holi­ ness swears that he saw Him crowned with the fire of the Spirit of God while a voice from Heaven proclaimed Him “Beloved Son of God to be listened to”, can but be the Messiah. And He is. I swear to it. I am neither a coarse nor a silly man. I have seen His deeds and heard His words. And I tell you, it is He: the Messiah. Miracles serve Him as a slave serves his master. Diseases and misfortunes disappear like dead things and are replaced by joy and good health. And hearts change even more than bodies. You can tell toy me. Have you sick people or pains to he relieved? If you have, come to the Fish Gate, tomorrow morning at dawn. He will be there and will make you happy. In the meantime, here, in His name I give this help to the poor. » And Judas hands out some coins to two cripples and three blind men and then forces an old woman to accept the last ones. 4He then dismisses the crowd and remains with Joseph of Ari­ mathaea, Nicodemus and three other people whom I do not know. «Ah! Now I feel better! » exclaims Judas. «I have nothing left. I am as He wants me to be. » «To tell you the truth, I don't recognise you any longer. I thought it was a joke. But I see that you are in earnest» exclaims Joseph. «I am in earnest. Oh! I am the first not to recognise myself. 58

I am still a filthy beast as compared to Him. But I have already changed a lot. » «And will you no longer belong to the Temple? » asks one of the unknown men. «Oh! no. I belong to Christ. Whoever approaches Him, can but love Him, unless one is really wicked. And one wishes noth­ ing else out Him. » «Will He not come here any more? », Nicodemus asks, «Of course He will. But not now. » «I would like to hear Him. » «He has already spoken here, Nicodemus. » «I know. But I was with Gamaliel... I saw Him, but I did not stop. » «What did Gamaliel say, Nicodemus? » «He said: “Some new prophet”. Nothing else. » «And did You not say to him what I told you, Joseph? You are his friend... » «I told him. But he replied: “We already have the Baptist and according to the doctrine of the Scribes there must be at least one hundred years between this one and that one, to prepare the people for the coming of the King. I say that it will take less”, he added, “because the time is now complete”. And he conclud­ ed: “But I cannot admit that the Messiah should reveal Himself thus... One day I thought that the Messianic manifestation was about to begin, because His first ray was really a heavenly flash. But after... there was a great silence and I think I was mistak- en”. » «Try and speak to him again. If Gamaliel were with us and you with him... » «I would not advise that» objects one of the three unknown men. «The Sanhedrin is powerful and Annas rules over it cun­ ningly and greedily. If your Messiah wants to live, I advise Him to live in obscurity. Unless He imposes Himself with strength. But then there is Rome... » «If the Sanhedrin heard Him, they would convert to Christ. » «Ah! Ah! Ah! » laugh the three strangers and say: «Judas, we believed you had changed, but we thought that you were still in­ telligent. If what you say about Him is true, how can you believe that the Sanhedrin would follow Him? Come, come, Joseph. It is 59

85. 5 85. 6better for all of us. May God give you protection, Judas. You need it. » And they go away. Judas remains alone with Nicodemus. 5Simon disappears and goes to the Master. «Master, I accuse myself of a sin of slander both in my words and with my heart. That man puzzles me. I thought he was almost an enemy of Yours, but I heard him speak of You in a way, that few amongst us do, particularly here where hatred might suppress first the disciple and then the Master. And I saw him give money to the poor, and try to persuade the members of the Sanhedrin... » «See, Simon? I am glad that you saw him just then. You will tell the others when they accuse him. Let us bless the Lord for the joy you are giving Me, because of your honesty in saying: “I have sinned”, and on account of the work of the disciple, whom you considered wicked, which he is not. » They pray for a long time, then they go out. «Did he not see you? » «No, I am sure. » «Do not say anything to him. He is a very weak soul. Praise would be like food given to a convalescent from a high tempera­ ture due to stomach trouble. It would make him worse, because he would boast of being noticed. And where pride enters... » «I will be quiet. 6Where are we going? » «To see John. At this hot hour of the day, he will be at the Ol­ ive-grove. » They walk fast, moving wherever possible to shady spots in the streets which are burning in the scorching sun. They cross the dusty suburb and through the wall gate they go out into the dazzling country, they reach the olive-grove and finally the house. In the kitchen, which is cool and dark because of the cur­ tain at the door, there is John. He is dozing and Jesus calls him: «John! » «You, Master? I was expecting You this evening. » «I came earlier. How did you manage, John? » «Like a lamb which had lost its shepherd! I spoke of You to everybody, because to speak of You was like being with You, somehow. I spoke to relatives, acquaintances, strangers. Also to Annas... And to a cripple, with whom I made friends, by giving him three coins. They were given to me and I gave them to him. 60

I spoke also to a poor woman, who was crying on her doorstep, with a group of women. I asked her: “Why are you crying? ” She replied: “The doctor said to me: 'Your daughter is ill, she has tu­ berculosis. Yield to this. At the first storms in October she will die'. I have but her: she is beautiful and good, she is fifteen years old. She was to get married in spring, but instead of her wed­ ding chest, I have to prepare her tomb! ” I said to her: “I know a Doctor Who can cure her for you, if you have faith! ” “No one can cure her now. She has been visited by three doctors. She is al­ ready spitting blood”. “Mine” I said, “is not a doctor like yours. He does not cure with medicine, but with His own power. He is the Messiah! ” A little old woman then said: “Oh! Believe, Eliza! I know a blind man who can now see because of Him! ” And the mother then passed from distrust to hope and she is waiting for You... Did I do the right thing? That's all I have done. » «You have done well. This evening we shall go to your friends. Have you seen Judas again? » «No, Master. Hie sent me some food and money which I gave to the poor. And he sent word that I should rise it, because it was his own money. » «It is true. John, tomorrow we are going towards Galilee... » «I am glad, Master. I am thinking of Simon Peter. Goodness knows how he is longing to see You. ! Shall we pass also by Naza­ reth? » «Yes, and we shall stop there waiting for Peter, Andrew and your brother James. » «Oh! Are we staying in Galilee? » «We will stay for some time. » John is happy and it all ends with his happiness. 86. The meeting with the soldier Alexander at the Fish Gate. 24th January 1945. 1It is dawn once again. And once again there are long lines of 86. 1 donkeys crowding at the Gate which is still closed. Jesus is with Simon and John. Some traders recognise Him and move around Him. Also a guard runs towards Him when the Gate is opened 61

and sees Him. And he greets Him: «Hail, Galilean. Tell these restless people to be less rebellious. They complain about us. But they do nothing but curse us and disobey. And they say it is a form of cult for them. What religion have they got if it is based on disobedience? » «Bear with them, My soldier. They are like those who have a guest in their house who is not wanted, but is stronger than they are. And they can only take vengeance with their tongues and by being spiteful. » «Yes. But we must do our duty. And so we have to punish them. And thus we become more and more the unwanted guest. » «You are right. You must do your duty. But do it always with humanity. You should always say: “If I were in their position, what would I do? ” You will then see that you feel pity for the sub­ jects. » «I like to hear You speak. You are free from contempt and haughtiness. The other Palestinians spit at us, and loathe us,... unless they can skin us properly for a woman or some purchase. Then the gold of Rome is no longer loathsome. » «Men are men, soldier. » «Yes and man is a bigger liar than a monkey. It is not pleasant, however, to be among those who are like snakes lying in wait... We also have homes, mothers, wives and children and our lives are dear to us. » «There you are: if everybody remembered that, there would be no more hatred. You asked: “What religion have they? ” I will answer you: a holy religion which prescribes as first command­ ment love for God and for our neighbour. A religion that teaches obedience to the laws. Also of enemy countries. 2 Because listen, My brothers in Israel, nothing happens un­ less God permits it. Also dominations: a misfortune without equal for a population. But if that population should examine itself in all fairness, almost always they should say that they brought on such a misfortune by their way of living contrary to God. Remember the Prophets. How many times have they spo­ ken about that! How often have they shown with past, present and future events that a ruler is a punishment, the lash of casti­ gation on the back an ungrateful son. And how many times have they taught how to avoid it: by going back to the Lord. Neither 6286. 2

rebellion nor war can cure wounds or tears, neither do they un­ do chains. To live as just people does all that. Then God inter­ venes. And what can arms and armies do against the splendour of the angelical cohorts fighting for good people? Have we been struck? Let us deserve to be no longer so, by living as children of God. Do not double your chains by commiting new sins. Do not allow the Gentiles to think that you are without any religion or more pagan than they are because of your way of living. You are the people who received the Law from God Himself. Respect it. Get the rulers to bow down before your chains saying: “They are subjects but they are greater than we are, of a greatness that is not based on numbers, money, arms, power, but on the fact that they come from God. Here shines the divine paternity of a perfect, holy, powerful God. Here is the sign of real Divinity. It shines through its children”. And may they meditate on that and come to the truth of the true God, abandoning their errors. Eve­ ryone, even the poorest, the most ignorant amongst the people of God can be a teacher to a Gentile by his way of living and can preach God to the heathens by the deeds of a holy life. Go. Peace be with you. » 3«Judas is late and also the shepherds» points out Simon. «Are You expecting someone, Galilean? » asks the soldier who has listened carefully. «Some friends. » «Come into the cool of the passageway. The sun is hot from the very early hours. Are You going to town? » «No, I am going back to Galilee. » «On foot? » «I am poor: on foot. » «Are You married? » «I have My Mother. » «Me too. Come... if You do not loathe us as the others do. » «Only sin disgusts Me. » The soldier looks at Him, surprised and thoughtful. «We will never have to interfere with You. Our swords will never be lifted against You. You are good. But the others!... » Jesus is in the half-light of the passageway. John is facing to­ wards the town. Simon is sitting on a large stone which acts as a bench. 86. 3 63

«What is Your name? » «Jesus. » «Ah! You are the one who works miracles also on deceased people?! I thought You were only a magician... We have some, too. A good magician, however. Because there are some... But ours cannot cure sick people. How do You do it? » Jesus smiles and is silent. «Do You use magic words? Have You ointments of dead peo­ ple's marrows, dried snakes reduced to powder, magic stones ta­ ken from the Python's caves? » «None of that. I have only My power. » «Then You really are a saint. We have the haruspices and the vestals... and some of them work wonders and they say that they are the most holy ones. But do You believe it? They are worse than the rest. » «Well, then, why do you venerate them? » «Because... because it is the religion of Rome. And if a citizen does not respect the religion of his country, how can he respect Caesar, his fatherland, and so on, many things? » Jesus stares at the soldier. «Truly you are well advanced on the way of Justice. Proceed, o soldier, and you will get to know what your soul feels it has in itself, without being able to give a name to it. » «Soul? What is it? » «When you die, where will you go? » «Who knows?... I don't know. If I die as a hero, on the funeral pyre of heroes... if I am a poor old man, a mere nothing, perhaps I will rot in my hole or on the side of a road. » «That is as far as your body is concerned. But where will your soul go? » «I don't know whether all men have a soul or only those des­ tined by Jupiter to the Elysian Fields after a wonderful life, un­ less he takes them up to Olympus as happened to Romulus. » «Every man has a soul and it is the thing that distinguishes men from animals. Would you like to be a horse? Or a bird? A fish? Flesh, that dying, is only rot? » «Oh! no. I am a man and I prefer to be such. » «Well, what makes you a man is your soul. Without it you would be nothing more than a speaking animal. » 64

«And where is it? What is it like? » «It has no body. But it exists. It is in you. It comes from Him Who created the world and goes back to Him after the death of the body. » «From the God of Israel, according to You. » «From the only, one, eternal, supreme God, Lord and Creator of the universe. » «And also a poor soldier like me, has a soul and it goes back to God? » «Yes. Also a poor soldier, and his soul will have God as a Friend, if it was always good, or God as a Punisher, if it was bad. » 4«Master, there is Judas with the shepherds and some women. If I am correct, there is the girl we spoke of yesterday» says John. «I am going, soldier. Be good. » «Will I not see You again? I would like to know... » «I will stay in Galilee until September. Come, if you can. At Capernaum or Nazareth anyone will tell you where I am. At Capernaum ask for Simon Peter. At Nazareth for Mary of Jo­ seph. She is My Mother. Come. I will speak to you of the true God. » «Simon Peter... Mary of Joseph. I'll come, if I can. And if You come back, remember Alexander. I belong to the Jerusalem Cen­ tury. » Judas and the shepherds are already in the passageway. «Peace to you all» says Jesus. And He is about to say more, when a slender smiling girl makes her way through the group and throws herself at His feet: «Your blessing on me again, Master and Saviour and my kiss again to You! » And she kisses His hands. «Go. Be happy and good. A good daughter, then a good wife, and then a good mother. Teach your future children My Name and My doctrine. Peace to you and to your mother. Peace and blessings to all those who are friends of God. Peace also to you, Alexanders Jesus goes away. 5«We are late. But some women besieged us» explains Judas. «They were at Gethsemane and wanted to see You. We had gone there without knowing of them, to join You and come here to­ gether. But You had already gone away and the women instead86. 4 86. 5 65

were there. We wanted to leave them... But they were more in­ sistent than flies. They wanted to know so many things... Have You cured the girl? » «Yes. » «And have You spoken to the Roman? » «Yes. He has an honest heart. And he is seeking the Truth... » Judas sighs. «Why are you sighing, Judas? » asks Jesus. «I am sighing because I wish our people would seek the Truth. Instead they avoid it, or sneer at it, or remain indifferent. I feel discouraged. I feel as if I do not want to come back here again, but do nothing else but listen to You. In any case, as a disciple, I am good for nothing. » «And do you think that I am very successful? Do not be dis­ couraged, Judas. It is the struggle of the apostolate. There are more defeats than victories. Defeats here. Up there they are al­ ways victories. The Father sees your goodwill and even if you are not successful He blesses you just the same. » «Oh! You are good! » Judas kisses His hand. «Will I ever be­ come good? » «Yes, if you want to. » «I think I have been good these past days... I suffered to be so... because I have many desires... but I always thought of You. » «Persist, then. You give Me so much joy. And what news have you got for Me? » He asks the shepherds. «Elias sends You his greetings, and also some food. And he asks You not to forget him. » «Oh! I have My friends in My heart! Let us go as far as that little village, surrounded by green fields. Then we will proceed in the evening. I am happy to be with you, I am glad that I am go­ ing to My Mother and that I have spoken of the Truth to an hon­ est man. Yes, I am happy. If you knew what it is for Me to do My mission and see souls coming to it, that is to the Father, oh! you would follow Me more and more with your souls!... » I see nothing else. 66

87. With shepherds and disciples near Doco. Isaac remains in Judaea. 25th January 1945. 1«And I tell You, Master, that humble people are better. The 87. 1 ones I spoke to either laughed at me or ignored me. Oh! The lit­ tle ones at Juttah! » It is Isaac speaking to Jesus. They are all in a group sitting on the grass on the river bank. Isaac seems to be giving a report on his work. Judas intervenes and, an exceptional case, he calls the shep­ herd by his name: «Isaac, I agree with you. We waste our time and lose our faith dealing with them. I give up. » «I will not. But it makes me suffer. I will give up only if the Master tells me. For years I have been accustomed to suffering out of loyalty to truth. I could not tell lies to get into the good graces of the mighty ones. And do you know how many times they came to make fun of me, in the room where I was ill, prom­ ising help — oh! they were certainly false promises — if I would say that I had lied, and that You, Jesus, were not the New-Born Saviour?! But I could not lie. If I had lied I would have denied my own joy, I would have killed my only hope, I would have rejected You, my Lord! Reject You! In my dark misery, in my dreary ill­ ness there was always a sky strewn with stars above me: the face of my mother, the only joy of my orphan life, the face of a bride, who was never mine and whom I continued to love even after her death. These were the two minor stars. And the two major stars, like two most pure moons: Joseph and Mary smiling at the New- Born Baby and at us poor shepherds, and Your bright, innocent, kind, holy, holy, holy face, in the centre of the sky of my heart. I could not reject that sky of mine! I did not want to deprive my­ self of its light, as there is no other so pure. I would have rath­ er rejected my own life, or I would have lived in torture, rather than reject You, My blessed remembrance, my New-Born Jesus! » Jesus lays His hand on Isaac's shoulder and smiles. Judas speaks again: «So you insist? » «I do. Today, tomorrow, and the day after that. Someone will come. » «How long will the work last? » «I don't know. But believe me. It is enough not to look either 67

ahead or back. And to do things day by day. And in the evening, if we have worked with profit, we say: “Thank You, my God”, if without any profit, just say: “I hope in Your help for tomorrow”. » «You are wise. » «I don't even know what it means. But I do in my mission what I did during my sickness. Thirty years of infirmity is no trifling matter! » «Ehi! I believe that. I was not yet born and you were already an invalid. » «I was ill. But I never counted those years. I never said: “Now it is the month of Nisan again, but I am not blossoming again with the roses. Now it is Tishri and I still languish here”. I went on, speaking of Him, both to myself and to good people. I real­ ised that the years were passing, because the little ones of by­ gone days came to bring me their wedding cakes or the cakes for the birth of their little ones. Now, if I look back, now from an old man I have become young, what do I see of my past? Nothing. It is past. » «Nothing here. But in Heaven it is “everything” for you, 87. 2 Isaac, and that “everything” is waiting for you» says Jesus. 2And then speaking to everyone: «You must do so. I do so Myself. We must go on. Without getting tired. Tiredness is one of the roots of human pride. And so is haste. Why is man annoyed by defeats, why is he upset by delays? Because pride says: “Why say 'no' to me? So much delay for me? This is lack of respect for the apostle of God”. No, My friends. Look at the whole universe and think of Him Who made it. Meditate on the progress of man, and consider his origin. Think of this hour which is now being completed and count how many centuries have preceded it. The universe is the work of a calm creation. The Father did not do things in a disor­ derly way. But He made the universe in successive phases. Man is the work of patient progress, the present man, and he will make more and more progress in knowledge and in power. And such knowledge and power will be holy or not holy, according to his will. But man did not become skilled all at once. The First Par­ ents, expelled from the Garden, had to learn everything, slowly, gradually. They had to learn the most simple things: that a grain of corn is more tasty if ground into flour, then kneaded and then baked. And they had to learn how to grind it and bake it. They 68

had to learn how to light a fire. How to make a garment by ob­ serving the fleece of animals. How to make a den by watching beasts. How to build a pallet, by watching nests. They learned how to cure themselves with herbs and water, try observing ani­ mals, which do so by instinct. They learned to travel across de­ serts and seas, studying the stars, breaking in horses, learning how to balance boats on water, by watching the shell of a nut floating on the water of a stream. And how many failures be­ fore success! But man succeeded. And he will go farther. But he will not be happier on account of his progress, because he will become more skilled in evil than in good. But he will make pro­ gress. Is Redemption not a patient work? It was decided centu­ ries and centuries ago, it is happening now after being prepared for centuries. Everything is patience. Why be impatient, then? Could God not have made everything in a flash? Was it not pos­ sible for man, gifted with reason, created by the hands of God, to know everything in a flash? Could I not have come at the begin­ ning of centuries? Everything was possible. But nothing must be violence. Nothing. Violence is always against order; and God, and what comes from God is order. Do not attempt to be superior to God. » 3«But, then, when will You be known? » «By whom, Judas? » «By the world! » «Never! » «Never? But are You not the Saviour? » «I am. But the world does not want to be saved. Only one in a thousand will be willing to know Me, and only one in ten thou­ sand will really follow Me. And I will say even more. I will not be known even by My most intimate friends. » «But if they are Your intimate friends, they will know You. » «Yes, Judas. They will know Me as Jesus, as Jesus the Israel­ ite. But they will not know Me as He Who I am. I solemnly tell you that I will not be known by all My intimate friends. To know means to love with loyalty and virtue... and there will be those who do not know Me. » Jesus takes the attitude of resigned dis­ couragement which is customary to Him when He announc­ es His future betrayal: He opens His hands and holds them out, turned outwards, His sorrowful face looking at neither man nor 6987. 3

87. 4 88. 1Heaven, but only at His future destiny of a betrayed person. «Do not say that» implores John. «We follow You, to know You more and more» says Simon, and the shepherds join their voices to his. «We follow You, as we would follow a bride and You are dear­ er to us than she could be; we are more jealous of You than of a woman. Oh! no. We know You already so much that we can­ not ignore You any longer. He (and Judas points at Isaac) says that to deny Your remembrance of a New-Born Baby would have been more distressing than losing his life. And You were but a new-born baby. We know You as Man and Master. We listen to You and see Your works. Your contact, Your breath, Your kiss: they are our continuous consecration and our continuous purifi­ cation. Only a satan could deny You after being Your close com­ panions «It is true, Judas. But there will be one. » «Woe to him! I will be his executioner. » «No. Leave justice to the Father. Be his redeemer. The re­ deemer of this soul that is inclined towards Satan. 4But let us say goodbye to Isaac. It is evening. I bless you, My faithful serv­ ant. You now know that Lazarus of Bethany is our friend and is willing to help My friends. I am going. You stay here. Prepare the parched land of Judaea for Me. I will come later. In case of need you know where to find Me. My peace be with you» and Jesus blesses and kisses His disciple. 88. In the plain of Esdraelon. The love of John and the very few like him. Visit to the shepherd Jonah. 26th January 1945. 1Jesus is walking along a little path which runs between parched fields, covered with stubble and full of crickets. Levi and John are walking beside Him. Joseph, Judas and Simon are behind in a group. It is night. But there is no relief from the heat. The soil seems to be still burning after the great heat of the day. Dew is of no avail in so much heat. I think it evaporates even before reaching the ground, such is the burst of heat rising from the furrow and 70

the cracks in the soil. They are silent, exhausted and hot. But I see Jesus smile. It is a clear night although the setting moon is hardly visible in the far east. «Do You think he will be there? » Jesus asks Levi. «He will certainly be there. This is the time when the crops are stored away, but they have not yet started picking the fruit. Farmers are therefore busy protecting their vineyards and or­ chards against thieves and they do not go away, particularly When their masters are as stingy as Jonah's. Samaria is not far and when those renegades get a chance... oh! they are happy to cause damage to us Israelites. Do they not know that the ser­ vants get beaten for it? Of course they do. But they hate us, that's all. » «Do not cherish resentment, Levi» says Jesus. «No. But You will see how Jonah was wounded five years ago because of them. Since then he lives watching at night. Because scourge is a cruel punishment... » «Is there still a long way to go? » «No, Master. See where this dreariness ends and there is a dark area? The orchards of Doras, the cruel Pharisee, are there. If You will allow me, I will go on in front of "You, to let Jonah hear me. » «Yes, go. » 2«Are all the Pharisees like that, my Lord? » asks John. «Oh! I Would not like to be in their service! I prefer my boat. » «Is your boat your dearest thing? » asks Jesus half serious. «No, You are! It was the boat when I did not know that Love was on the earth» answers John promptly. Jesus smiles at his impetuosity. «You did not know that love was on the earth? And how were you born then, if your father did not love your mother? » asks Jesus, jokingly. «That love is beautiful, but it does not attract me. You are my love, You are the love on the earth for poor John. » Jesus embraces him and says: «I was anxious to hear you say so. Love is greedy for love and man gives and will always give tiny drops to its thirst, like these which are falling from the sky and are so small that they vanish in the mid-air, in the great summer heat. Also man's drops of love will vanish in the88. 2 71

mid-air, killed by the heat of too many things. Hearts will still squeeze them out... but interests, love, business, greed, so many human things will burn them. And what will rise to Jesus? Oh! too little! The remains, the few surviving human pulsations, men's throbs interested in asking, asking, and asking, in urgent need. To love Me out of pure love will be the characteristic of few people... of people like John... Look at an ear of corn grown after the end of the season. It is perhaps a seed that fell at har­ vest time. But it was able to spring up, to resist sunshine and dry weather, to grow up, to form an ear... Feel it: it is already formed. In these stripped fields it is the only living thing. Before long the ripe grains will fall on the ground, breaking the smooth husk that holds them close to the stem, and they will become char­ ity food for the little birds, or yielding one hundred per one, they will grow again and before winter brings the plough back to the earth, they will be ripe once again and will satisfy the hunger of many birds already starving in the dreariest season... See, My John, what one brave seed can do? And the few people that will love Me out of pure love, will be like that. One only will satisfy the hunger of many. One only will make beautiful the area which before was ugly. One only will give life where there was death and all the hungry ones will come to that one. They will eat a grain of its active love and then, selfish and absent-minded, they will fly away. But also without their knowing it, that grain will put vital germs in their blood, in their souls... and they will come back. And today, tomorrow and the day after, as Isaac said, the knowledge of the Love will increase in their hearts. The stripped stem will no longer be a living thing: a parched straw. But how much good from its sacrifice! And how much reward for its sac­ rifice! » Jesus, Who had stopped for a moment before a thin ear of corn, grown at the edge of the path, in a little ditch, which in rainy weather was perhaps a little stream, has moved on, while John listens to Him all the time in his usual attitude of an ardent admirer, who takes in not only the words but also the movements of the beloved person. The others, who are speaking among themselves, are not aware of the tender conversation. They have now reached the or­ chard and they stop, forming one group. The heat is such that 72

they are all perspiring, although they are not wearing mantles. They wait silently. 3From the dark thicket, which is faintly lit up by moonlight, Levi, visible in his light clothes, appears, followed by a person of darker dress. «Master, Jonah is here. » «May My peace come to you! » greets Jesus, before Jonah reaches Him. But Jonah does not reply. He runs and throws himself weep­ ing at His feet and kisses them. When he is fit to speak he says: «How long have I waited for You! How long! How depressing it was to feel that my life was passing away, that death was ap­ proaching, and I had to say: “I have not seen Him!” And yet, no, not all hopes were destroyed. Not even when I was about to die. I would say: “She said so: 'You will serve Him again' and She could not have said something that was not true. She is the Mother of the Immanuel. No one, therefore, possesses God more than She does, and who has God knows what is of God”. » «Get up. She sends you Her greetings. You have been near Her and You are still near Her. She lives at Nazareth. » «You! She! At Nazareth? Oh! I wish I had known. At night, in the cold winter months, when the fields rest and evil people can­ not cause damage to farmers, I would have come, I would have run there, to kiss Your feet and I would have come back with my treasure of certainty of faith. Why did You not show Yourself, Lord? » «Because is was not the time. The time has now come. We must learn to wait. You said: “In the winter months when the fields rest”. And yet they have been sown, have they not? Well, I was like a grain that had been sown. And you saw Me when I was being sown. Then I disappeared. Buried in necessary si­ lence. That I might grow and reach harvest time and shine in the eyes of the world and of those who had seen Me a New-Born Baby. That time has come. The New-Born is now ready to be the Bread of the world. And I am looking first for My faithful ones, and I say to them: “Come. I will satisfy your hunger”. » The man is listening to Him, smiling happily, and he keeps saying to himself: «Oh! You are really here! You are really here! » «You were about to die? When? » «When I was thrashed to death, because they had stripped88. 3 73

88. 4two vineyards. Look how many wounds! » He lowers his tunic and shows his shoulders all marked by irregular scars. «He beat me with an iron rod. He counted the bunches of grapes that had been picked, he could see where the stalks had been torn off, and he gave me a blow forevery bunch. And then he left me there, half dead. Mary helped me, she is the young wife of a friend of mine, and she has always been fond of me. Her father was the land-agent before me and when I came here I became very fond of the little girl, because her name was Mary. She took care of me and I recovered after two months, for the sores had become in­ fected because of the heat, and had given me a high temperature. I said to the God of Israel: “It does not matter. Let me see Your Messiah again, and this misfortune is of no importance to me. Accept it as a sacrifice. I can never offer You a sacrifice. I am the servant of a cruel man and You know. He does not even allow me to come to Your altar at Passover. Accept me as a victim. But give me Him! ”» «And the Most High has satisfied you. 4Jonah, do you wish to serve Me, as your friends are already doing? » «Oh! How shall I do that? » «As they do. Levi knows and he will tell you how simple it is to serve Me. I only want your goodwill. » «I have given You that since the time You cried in the man­ ger. It made me overcome everything. Both dejection and hatred. The fact is... we cannot speak very much here... The master once kicked me because I was insisting that You existed. But when he was away, and with those I could trust, oh! I did tell the wonder of that night! » «And now tell the wonder of your meeting. I have found al­ most everyone, and everyone is faithful. Is that not a wonder? Only because you contemplated Me with faith and love you have become just in the eyes of God and men. » «Oh! Now I will have courage! And how much courage! Now that I know that You are alive I can say: “He is there. Go to Him!... ” But where, my Lord? » «All over Israel. I will be in Galilee up until September. I will often be at Nazareth or Capernaum, and I can be traced from there. After... I will be everywhere. I have come to gather the sheep of Israel. » 74

«Oh! My Lord! You will find many billy-goats. Beware of the great ones in Israel! » «They will not do Me any harm, if it is not the time. Say to the dead, the sleepers, the living: “The Messiah is amongst us”. » «To the dead, Lord? » «To those whose souls are dead. The others, the just who died in the Lord, are already rejoicing for their imminent liberation from Limbo. Say to the dead: “I am the Life”. Say to the sleepers: “I am the Sun that rises awaking from sleep”. Say to the living: “I am the Truth they are seeking”. » «And You cure also sick people? Levi told me about Isaac. Is the miracle only for him, because he is Your shepherd, or is it for­ everybody? » «For good people, a miracle is a just reward. For those who are not so good, it urges them toward true goodness. It is also for bad people, to shake them and make them understand that I am and that God is with Me. A miracle is a gift. Gifts are for good people. But He Who is Mercy and sees the human burden, which can be lightened only by powerful events, has resort also to this means, that He may say: “I have done everything for you, but all in vain. Tell Me, therefore, what else I must do”. » 5«Lord, do You mind entering my house? If You give me assur­ ance that no robber will come into the estate, I would like to give You hospitality, and invite also the few people who know You be­ cause I spoke to them of You. Our master has bent and broken us like ignoble stems. We have but the hope of an eternal reward. But if You will show Yourself to downcast hearts, they will feel new strengths «I will come. Do not be afraid for your trees and vineyards. Can you believe that the angels will watch them faithfully? » «Oh! My Lord. I saw Your heavenly servants. I do believe. And I will come with You and feel safe. Blessed these trees and vine­ yards which have the breeze and songs of angelical wings and voices! Blessed is the soil which is sanctified by Your feet! Come, Lord Jesus! Listen, trees and vines. Listen, soil. Now I will say to Him the Name that I confided to you for my own peace. Jesus is here. Listen, and may the sap exult through branches and vine- shoots. The Messiah is with us. » It all ends with these joyful words. 88. 5 75

89. The farewell from Jonah, whom Simon Zealot hopes to free. The arrival of Jesus in Nazareth. 27th January 1945. 1The light is so faint it seems to be blinking. At the door of a very poor hut — it would be an overstatement to call it a house — there is Jesus with His disciples, Jonah and other poor peasants like him. It is departure time. «Will I not see You again, my Lord? » asks Jonah. «You have brought light to our hearts. Your kindness has turned these days into a feast that will last all our lives. But You have seen how we are treated. A mule is taken more care of than we are. And trees receive more human attention. They are money. We are only millstones that earn money. And we are used until we die of ex­ cessive toil. But Your words have been as many loving caresses. Our bread seemed more plentiful and it tasted better because You shared it with us, this bread which he does not even give to his dogs. Come back to share it with us, my Lord. Only because it is You, I dare say that. It would be an insult to offer anyone else shelter and food which even a beggar would disdain. But You... » «But I find in them a heavenly perfume and flavour, because in them there is faith and love. I will come, Jonah. I will come back. You stay in your place, tied like an animal to the shafts. May your place be Jacob's ladder. And in fact angels come and go from Heaven down to you, carefully gathering all your mer­ its and taking them up to God. But I will come to you. To relieve your spirit. Be faithful to Me, all of you. Oh! I would like to give you also human peace. But I cannot. I must say to you: go on suf­ fering. And that is very sad for One Who loves... » «Lord, if You love us, we no longer suffer. Before we had no one to love us... Oh! If I could, at least I, see Your Mother! » «Do not worry. I will bring Her to you. When the weather is milder, I will come with Her. Do not risk incurring cruel pun­ ishments on account of your anxiety to see Her. You must wait for Her as you wait for the rising of a star, of the evening star. She will appear to you all of a sudden, exactly as the evening star, which is not there one moment, and a moment later it shines in the sky. And you must consider that even now She is lavish­ ing Her gifts of love on you. Goodbye everybody. May My peace 7689. 1

protect you from the harshness of him who torments you. Good­ bye, Jonah. Do not cry. You have waited for so many years with patient faith. I now promise you a very short wait. Do not weep. I will not leave you alone. Your kindness wiped My tears when I was a New-Born Baby. Is Mine not sufficient to wipe yours? » «Yes... but You are going away... and I have to stay here... » «Jonah, My friend, do not make Me go away depressed be­ cause I cannot comfort you... » «I am not crying, my Lord... But how will I be able to live without seeing You, now that I know that You are alive? » Jesus caresses the forlorn old man once again and then goes away. But standing on the edge of the miserable threshing-floor, Jesus stretches His arms out and blesses the country. He then de­ parts. «What have You done, Master? » asks Simon who has noticed the unusual gesture. «I put a seal on everything. That no demon may damage things and thus cause trouble to those unhappy people. I could do no more... » 2«Master, let us walk on a little faster. I would like to tell You something which I do not want the others to hear. » They move farther away from the group and Simon begins to speak: «I wanted to tell You that Lazarus has instructions to use my money to assist all those who apply to him in Jesus' name. Could we not free Jonah? That man is worn out and his only joy is to be with You. Let us give him that. What is his work worth here? If instead he were free, he would be Your disciple in this beau­ tiful yet desolate plain. The richest people in Israel own fertile estates here and they exploit them with cruel usury, exacting a hundredfold profit from their workers. I have known that for years. You will not be able to stop here long, because the sect of the Pharisees rules over the country and I do not think it will ever be friendly to You. These oppressed and hopeless workers are the most unhappy people in Israel. You heard it Yourself, not even at Passover have they peace, neither can they pray, whilst their severe masters, with solemn gestures and affected exhibi­ tions, take up prominent positions in front of all the people. At least they will have the joy of knowing that You exist, and of lis­ tening to Your words, which will be repeated to them by one who89. 2 77

will not alter one single letter. If You agree, Master, please say so, and Lazarus will do the necessary. » «Simon, I knew why you gave all your property away. The thoughts of men are known to Me. And I loved you also because 89. 3 of that. By making Jonah happy, you make Jesus happy. 3Oh! How it torments Me to see good people suffer! My situation of a poor man despised by the world afflicts Me only because of that. If Judas heard Me, he would say: “But are You not the Word of God? Give the order, and these stones will become gold and bread for the poor people”. He would repeat Satan's snare. I am anxious to satisfy people's hunger. But not the way Judas would like. You are not yet sufficiently mature to grasp the depth of what I want to say. But I will tell you: if God saw to everything He would rob His friends. He would deprive them of the chance of being merciful and fulfilling the commandment of love. My friends must possess this mark of God, in common with Him: the holy mercy consisting in deeds and words. And the unhappiness of other people gives My friends the opportunity to practise it. Have you understood what I mean? » «Your thought is a deep one. I will ponder Your words. And I humble myself, as I see how dull-minded I am and how great God is Who wants us to be gifted with all His most sweet attrib­ utes, so that He may call us His children. God is revealed to me in His manifold perfections by every ray of light with which You illuminate my heart. Day by day, like one proceeding in an un­ known place, the knowledge of the immense Thing which is the Perfection Which wants to call us His “children” is progressing in me and I seem to be climbing like an eagle or to be diving like a fish into two endless depths, such as sky and sea, and I climb higher and higher and dive deeper and deeper, but I never touch the end. But what is, therefore, God? » «God is the unattainable Perfection, God is the perfect Beau­ ty, God is the infinite Power, God is the incomprehensible Es­ sence, God is the unsurpassable Bounty, God is the indestruct­ ible Mercy, God is the immeasurable Wisdom, God is the Love that became God. He is the Love! He is the Love! You say that the more you know God in His perfection, the higher you seem to climb and the deeper to dive into two endless depths of shade­ less blue... But when you understand what is the Love that be-78

came God, you will no longer climb or dive into the blue, but into a blazing vortex and you will be drawn towards a beatitude which will be death and life for you. You will possess God, with a perfect possession, when, by your will, you succeed in under­ standing and deserving Him. You will then be fixed in His per­ fections «0 Lord... » Simon is overwhelmed. 4There is silence. They reach the road. Jesus stops, waiting for the others. When they are all together again, Levi kneels down: «I should be leaving, Master. But Your servant asks You a favour. Take me to Your Mother. This man is an orphan like me. Do not deny me what You give him, that I may see the face of a mother... » «Come. What is asked in My Mother's name, I grant in My Mother's name. » 5... Jesus is by Himself. He is walking fast among the thick ol­ ive-trees laden with small fruits which are already well shaped. The sun, although almost setting, is blazing down in the grey- green dome of the precious peaceful trees, but it does not pen­ etrate the tangle of branches beyond providing for a few tiny bright eyelets of light. The main road, on the other hand, embed­ ded in two banks, is a dusty blazing dazzling ribbon. Jesus proceeds smiling. He reaches a cliff... and smiles even more happily. There is Nazareth... its panorama seems to be flickering, such is the heat of the blazing sun. Jesus goes down even faster. He reaches the road now, without minding the sun. He is walking so fast that He seems to be flying: He has protect­ ed His head with His mantle, which blows at His sides and be­ hind Him. The road is deserted and silent as far as the nearest houses. Now and again the voices of a child or a woman can be heard from the inside of a house or a kitchen garden, the trees of which extend their branches over the road. Jesus avails Himself of such shady spots to avoid the merciless sunshine. He turns in­ to a half shaded road. There are some women gathered around a cool well. Almost every one of them greets Him welcoming Him in their shrill voices. «Peace to you all... But please be silent. I want to give My Mother a surprises «Her sister-in-law has just gone away with a pitcher of cool water. But she is coming back. They are left without any water. 89. 4 89. 5 79

The spring is either dry or the water is absorbed by the parched land before reaching Your garden. We don't know. That's what Mary of Alphaeus was saying. There she is... she is coming. » The mother of Judas and James is coming carrying an am­ phora on her head and another one in her hand. She does not see Jesus at once; she is shouting: «I'll be quicker this way. Mary is very sad, because Her flowers are dying of thirst. They are the ones planted by Joseph and Jesus and it breaks Her heart to see them withering. » «But now that She sees Me... » says Jesus appearing from be­ hind the group of women. «Oh! My Jesus! Blessed You are! I'll go and tell. » «No. I will go. Give Me the amphoras. » «The door is half shut. Mary is in the garden. Oh! How happy She will be! She was speaking of You also this morning. But why come in this heat! You are all sweaty! Are You alone? » «No. With friends. But I came ahead of them. To see My Moth­ er first. And Judas? » «He is at Capernaum. He often goes there. » Mary does not say anything else. But she smiles while drying Jesus' wet face with her veil. 6The pitchers are ready. Jesus takes two, He ties one at each end of His belt which He throws across His shoulder and takes the third one in His hand. He walks away, turns round a corner, reaches the house, push­ es the door, enters the little room which seems dark in compari­ son with the bright sunshine outside. He slowly lifts the curtain protecting the door of the garden and He watches. Mary is standing near a rose-bush, with Her back to the house and is pitying the parched plant. Jesus lays the pitcher on the floor and the copper tinkles against a stone. «Are you here al­ ready, Mary? » says His Mother without turning round. «Come, come, look at this rose! And these poor lilies. They will all die, if we do not assist them. Bring also some small canes to hold up this falling stalk. » «I will bring You everything, Mother. » Mary springs round. She remains for a moment with Her eyes wide open, then with a cry She runs with outstretched arms to­ wards Her Son, Who has already opened His arms and is waiting 8089. 6

for Her with the most loving smile. «Oh! My Son! » «Mother! Dear! » Their embrace is a long and loving one and Mary is so happy that She does not feel how hot is Jesus. But then She notices it: «Why, Son, did You come at this time of the day? You are purple red and are perspiring like a sodden sponge. Come inside. That I may dry and refresh You. I will bring You a fresh tunic and clean sandals. My Son! My Son! Why go about in this heat! The plants are dying because of the heat and You, My Flower, are go­ ing about. » «It was to come to You as soon as possible, Mother. » «Oh! My dear! Are You thirsty? You must be. I will now pre­ pare... » «Yes, I am thirsty for Your kisses, Mother. And for Your ca­ resses. Let Me stay like this, with My head on Your shoulder, as when I was a little boy... Oh! Mother! How I miss You! » «Tell Me to come, Son, and I will. What did You lack because of My absence? The food You like? Clean clothes? A well made bed? Oh! My Joy, tell Me what You lacked. Your servant, My Lord, will endeavour to provide. » «Nothing, but You... » Jesus goes into the house hand in hand with His Mother. He sits on the chest near the wall, embraces Mary Who is in front of Him, resting His head on Her heart and kissing Her now and again. Now He stares at Her: «Let Me look at You, to My heart's content, holy Mother of Mine. » «Your tunic first. It is not good for You to remain so damp. Come. » Jesus obeys. 7When He comes back wearing a fresh looking tunic, they resume their sweet conversation. «I have come with My disciples and friends. But I left them in Melcha's wood. They will come tomorrow at dawn. I... I could not wait any longer. My Mother!... » and He kisses Her hands. «Mary of Alphaeus has gone away to leave us alone. She also un­ derstood how anxious I was to be with You. Tomorrow... tomor­ row You will attend to My friends and I to the Nazarenes. But this evening You are My Friend and I am Yours. I brought You... Oh! Mother: I found the shepherds of Bethlehem. And I brought89. 7 81

You two of them: they are orphans and You are the Mother. Of all men. And more so of orphans. And I brought You also one who needs You to control himself. And another one who is a just man and has suffered so much. And then John... And I brought You the recollections of Elias, Isaac, Tobias, now called Matthew, John and Simeon. Jonah is the most unhappy of them all. I will take You to him... I promised him. I will continue to look for the others. Samuel and Joseph are resting in the peace of God. » «Were You at Bethlehem? » «Yes, Mother. I took the disciples who were with Me there. And I brought You these little flowers, that were growing amid the stones of the threshold. » «Oh! » Mary takes the withered stems and kisses them. «And what about Anne? » «She died in Herod's slaughter. » «Oh! Poor woman! She was so fond of You! » «The Bethlehemites suffered a lot. But they were not fair to the shepherds. But they suffered a lot... » «But they were good to You then! » «Yes. And that is why they are to be pitied. Satan is jealous of their past kindness and urges them to evil things. I was also at Hebron. The shepherds, persecuted... » «Oh! To that extent?! » «Yes, they were helped by Zacharias, who got them jobs and food, even if their masters were hard people. But they are just souls and they turned their persecutions and wounds into mer­ its of true holiness. I gathered them together. I cured Isaac... and I gave My name to a little boy... At Juttah, where Isaac was lan­ guishing and where he came back to life again, there is now an innocent group, called Mary, Joseph and Jesai... » «Oh! Your Name! » «And Yours and the name of the Just One. And at Kerioth, the fatherland of a disciple, a faithful Israelite died resting on My 89. 8 heart. Out of joy, having found Me... 8And then... ah! how many things I have to tell You, My perfect Friend, sweet Mother! But first of all, I beg You, I ask You to have so much mercy on those who will be coming tomorrow. Listen: they love Me... but they are not perfect. You, Teacher of virtue... oh! Mother, help Me to make them good... I would like to save them all... » Jesus has 82

slipped smoothly to Mary's feet. She now appears in Her Moth­ erly majesty. «My Son! What do You want Your poor Mother to do better than You do? «To sanctify them... Your virtue sanctifies. I brought them here deliberately, Mother... one day I will say to You: “Come”, because it will then be urgent to sanctify souls, that I may find them willing to be redeemed. And I will not be able by Myself... Your silence will be as eloquent as My words. Your purity will assist My power. Your presence will keep Satan away... and Your Son, Mother, will feel stronger knowing that You are near Him. You will come, will You not, My sweet Mother? » «Jesus! Dear Son! I have a feeling that You are not happy... What is the matter, Creature of My heart? Was the world hostile to You? No? It is a relief to believe it... but... Oh! Yes. I will come. Wherever You wish, as and when You wish. Even now, in this blazing sunshine, or by night, in cold or wet weather. You want Me? Here I am. » «No. Not now. But one day... How sweet is our home. And Your caresses! Let Me sleep thus, with My head on Your knees. I am so tired! I am still Your little Son... » And Jesus really falls asleep, tired and exhausted, sitting on the mat, His head on the lap of His Mother, Who happily caresses His hair. 90. The arrival of the disciples and of the shepherds in Nazareth. 28th January 1945. 1I see Mary moving about the house, barefooted and active, at 90. 1 daybreak. In Her pale blue dress, She is like a butterfly lightly and noiselessly touching walls and other things. She goes to the front door and opens it carefully without making any sound, She leaves it half open, after having a look at the still deserted road. She tidies up, opens doors and windows, goes into the workshop, where She now keeps Her looms, since it was abandoned by the Carpenter, and bustles about also in there. She carefully covers one of the looms, where weaving has just begun and smiles at one 83

90. 2 90. 3of Her thoughts, while looking at it. She goes out into the garden. The doves gather on Her shoul­ ders. And with short flights from one shoulder to the other, to have the best place, quarrelsome and jealous of Her love, they ac­ company Her to a closet where foodstuffs are stored. She takes some grain for them and says: «Here, stay here today. Don't make any noise. He is so tired! » She then takes some flour and goes in­ to a small room near the stone oven and starts making the bread. She kneads it and smiles. Oh! How Mother smiles today. She is like the young Mother of the Nativity, so much joy has made Her young again. From the dough She takes a lump and puts it aside, covering it, and then resumes Her work, getting hot, while Her hair looks lighter in colour as it becomes slightly powdered with flour. 2Mary of Alphaeus comes in quietly. «Are You working al­ ready? » «Yes, I am baking bread, and look: the honey cakes He likes so much. » «You make the cakes. The dough is quite bulky. I'll work it for You. » Mary of Alphaeus, a more robust country woman, works at the bread with enthusiasm, while Mary mixes butter and hon­ ey to the cakes. She makes many round shaped ones and places them on a metal plate. «I do not know how to tell Judas... James does not dare... and the others... » Mary of Alphaeus sighs. «Simon Peter is coming today. He always comes with the fish on the second day after the Sabbath. We will send him to Judas. » «If he is willing to go... » «Oh! Simon never says no to Me. » 3«May peace be on this day of yours» says Jesus appearing. The two women start hearing His voice. «Are You already up? Why? I wanted You to sleep... » «I slept like a child in its cradle, Mother. I am afraid You have not slept... » «I watched You sleeping... I always did so when You were a baby. You always smiled in Your sleep and that smile of Yours remained all day long in My heart like a pearl... But last night, Son, You were not smiling. You kept sighing as one who is af­ 84

flicted... » Mary, sore at heart, looks at Him. «I was tired, Mother. The world is not like this house, where everything is honesty and love. You... You know Who I am and can thus understand what it is for Me to be in touch with the world. It is like walking along a foul muddy road. Even if a man is careful, he will get splashed with mud and the stench will penetrate him, even if he endeavours not to breathe... and if he is a man who loves cleanliness and pure air, You can imagine how troublesome it is... » «Yes, Son, I understand. But it grieves Me that You should suffer... » «Now I am with You and I do not suffer. There is only the memory... But it serves to increase the joy of being with You. » And Jesus bends down to kiss His Mother. He caresses also the other Mary, who has just come in all flushed, after lighting the oven fire. «We will have to inform Judas. » It is the worry of Mary of Al­ phaeus. «It is not necessary. Judas will be here, today. » «How do You know? » Jesus smiles and is silent. «Son, every week, this day, Simon Peter comes. He comes to bring the fish caught early in the night. And he arrives here shortly after daybreak. He will be happy today. Simon is good. He always helps us, while he is here. Does he not, Mary? » «Simon Peter is honest and good» says Jesus. «But also the other Simon whom You will see shortly, is a kind-hearted man. I am going to meet them. They must be about to arrive. » And Jesus goes out whilst the women, after putting the bread into the oven, go into the house, where Mary puts on Her sandals and then comes back wearing a snow-white linen dress. Some time goes by and while waiting, Mary of Alphaeus says: «You did not have time to finish that work. » «It will soon be finished. And My Jesus will have the relief of shade without having His head burdened. » 4The door is pushed from outside. «Mother: here are My 90. 4 friends. Come in. » The disciples and shepherds go in all together. Jesus is hold­ ing by their shoulders the two shepherds and He leads them to-85

90. 5wards His Mother: «Here are two sons looking for a mother. Be their joy, Woman. » «You are welcome... You?.. Levi... You? I do not know, but ac­ cording to your age, as He told Me, you must be Joseph. That name is sweet and sacred in this house. Come, come. It is with joy that I say to you: My house welcomes you and a Mother embraces you, in remembrance of the love you, in your father, had for My Child. » The shepherds seem spellbound, they are so enraptured. «Yes, I am Mary. You saw the happy Mother. I am still the same. Also now I am happy seeing My Son among faithful hearts. » «And this is Simon, Mother. » «You deserved the grace because you are good. I know. And may the grace of God be always with you. » Simon, who is more experienced in the customs of the world, bows down to the ground, his arms crossed over his chest, and says: «I salute You, true Mother of Grace and now that I have met both the Light and You, Who are more gentle than the moon, I will not ask the Eternal Father for anything else. » «And this is Judas of Kerioth. » «I have a mother but my love for her fades away, compared to the veneration I feel for You. » «No, not for Me. For Him. I am, only because He is. I want nothing for Myself. I only ask for Him. I know how you honoured My Son in your town. But I say to you: let your heart be the place where He receives the highest honour from you. Then I will bless you with a motherly heart. » «My heart is under the heel of your Son. A happy oppression. Only death will undo my loyalty. » «And this is our John, Mother. » «I have not been worried ever since I knew you were with My Jesus. I know you and My mind is at peace when I know that you are with My Son. I bless you, My peace. » She kisses him. 5Peter's harsh voice is heard from outside: «Here is poor Si­ mon bringing his greetings and... » He has come in and is dumb­ founded. He then throws onto the floor the round basket which was hanging from his shoulder and he throws himself on his knees saying: «Ah! Eternal Lord! But... No, You should not have done 86

that to me, Master! You were here... and did not let poor Simon know! May God bless You, Master! How happy I am! I could not bear to be without You any longer! » And he caresses Jesus' hand Without listening to Him Who keeps repeating: «Get up, Simon. Will you get up? » «Yes, I will get up. But... Hey, you, boy! (the boy is John) At least you could have come to tell me! Now run quick. Go to Capernaum and tell the others... and Judas' household first of all. Your son is about to arrive, woman. Be quick. Just imagine that you are a hare chased by dogs. » John leaves laughing. Peter has got up at last. He is still holding Jesus' thin hand in his short thickset ones, marked by swollen veins, and he kiss­ es it without letting it go, although he appears to be anxious to hand over the fish, which are in the basket on the floor. «Eh! no. I don't want You to go away again without me. Never again, nev­ er again such a long time without seeing You! I will follow You as a shadow follows a body and the rope follows the anchor. Where have You been, Master? I kept wondering: “Oh! Where will He be? What will He be doing? And will that boy, John, be able to look after Him? Will he make sure that Jesus does not get too tired? That He is not left without food? ” Eh! I know You... You have lost weight! Yes, You have. He did not take proper care of You! I will tell him that... But where have You been, Master? "You are not telling me any thing! » «I am waiting for you to give Me a chance to say one word! » «It's true. But... Ah! To see You is like having a new wine. It goes to your head just with its smell. Oh! My Jesus. » Peter is al­ most in tears out of joy. «I also missed you. I missed you all, although I was with dear friends. 6Here, Peter. These two men have loved Me since I was a 90. 6 New-Born Baby. Even more! They have suffered because of Me. Here is a son who lost his father and mother on account of Me. But now he has so many brothers in you all, has he not? » «Of course, Master. If by chance, the Devil should love You, I would love him because he loves "You. I see that you are poor, too. So we are equal. Come here that I may kiss you. I am a fisherman but my heart is more tender than a dove's. And it is sincere. Don't pay attention if I am rough. I am hard outside. Inside I am all but-87

90. 7ter and honey. But with good people... because with evil ones... » «And this is the new disciple. » «I think I have already met him... » «Yes, he is Judas of Kerioth, and Your Jesus was made wel­ come in that town because of him. I ask you to love each other, even if you are from different regions. You are all brothers in the Lord. » «And I will treat him as such, if he will be such. Eh! Yes... (Peter stares at Judas, a frank warning glance), yes, I may as well say so, so you will understand me at once and properly. I will tell you: I do not think much of Judaeans in general, and of the citi­ zens of Jerusalem in particular. But I am honest. And upon my honesty I can assure you that I will put aside all the ideas I have of you, and that I want to see in you only a brother disciple. It is up to you now not to make me change my mind and my decisions «Have you such preconceived ideas, Simon, also with regards to me? » asks the Zealot smiling. «Oh! I had not seen you. With regards to you? Oh! no. Honesty is painted on your face. Goodness comes from your heart, like sweet smelling oil from a porous vase. And you are an elderly man, which is not always a merit. Sometimes, the older one gets, the more false and worse one becomes. But you are one of those who behave like vintage wines. The older they get, the better and purer they become. » «You have judged correctly, Peter» says Jesus. 7«Now come. While the women are working for us, let us stop under the cool bower. How lovely it is to be with friends! We will then go all to­ gether through Galilee and farther. Well, not all. Now that Levi is satisfied, he will go back to Elias to tell him that Mary sends him Her greetings. Is that alright, Mother? » «That I bless him, as well as Isaac and the others. My Son has promised to take Me along with Him... and I will come to you, the first friends of My Child. » «Master, I would like Levi to take to Lazarus the letter You know about. » «Have it ready, Simon. Today is a full feast day. Levi will go away tomorrow evening. In time to be there before the Sabbath. Come, My friends... » They go into the green kitchen garden and it all ends. 88

91. Lesson to the disciples in the olive-grove at Nazareth. 29th January 1945. 1I see Jesus coming out of His house and going out of Nazareth with Peter, Andrew, John, James, Philip, Thomas, Bartholomew, Judas Thaddeus, Simon and Judas Iscariot and the shepherd Jo­ seph. They stop in the neighbourhood, in a thicket of olive-trees. He says: «Come around Me. During these months of pres­ ence and absence I have weighed you up and studied you. I have known you and I have known the world with the experience of a man. Now I have decided to send you into the world. But before I must teach you, I must make you capable of facing the world with the kindness and wisdom, the calm and perseverance, the conscience and science necessary for your mission. This period of excessive heat, which makes any long journey through Pales­ tine impossible, will be used by Me for your education and for­ mation as disciples. Like a musician, I have heard what is disso­ nant in you and I will now tune you to the celestial harmony you must convey to the world in My name. I am keeping this son (and He points at Joseph) because I will delegate to him the task of re­ ferring My words to his companions, so that also there an effi­ cient group may be formed, that will announce Me not by simply stating that I exist, but by explaining the most essential features of My doctrine. 2First of all I tell you that it is absolutely necessary for you to love one another and be united. Who are you? Men of every so­ cial condition, of different age, from everywhere. I preferred to choose those who are not indoctrinated, because it will be much easier to instil My doctrine into them, and also because — as you are destined to evangelise those who are in complete ignorance of the true God — I want them not to disregard their previous ig­ norance of God, when they remember it, and to teach them with charity, remembering with how much charity I taught them. You may object: “We are not heathens, even if we are not in­ tellectually cultured”. No, you are not. However, not only you but also those among you who represent the learned and rich people, are involved in a religion which has only the name of religion, as its nature has been perverted by too many factors. I tell you 8991. 1 91. 2

that there are many who boast of being children of the Law. But eight out of ten of them are but idolaters who have confused the true, holy, eternal Law of the God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, in the haze of a thousand petty human religions. Therefore, looking at one another, both you humble fishermen without culture, and you merchants or sons of merchants, and you officials or sons of officials, and you wealthy people or sons of wealthy people, you must say: “We are all equal. We have all the same faults and we all need the same teaching. Since we are brothers in our person­ al or national faults, from now on we must become brothers in the knowledge of the Truth and in our efforts in practising it”. Exactly: brothers. I want you to call and to consider one an­ other as such. You are like one family. When does a family thrive and when does the world admire it? When its members are unit­ ed and of the same mind. If one son becomes the enemy of anoth­ er, if one brother harms another, is it possible for the prosperity of that family to last long? No. In vain the father of the family strives to work, to eliminate difficulties, to impose himself on the world. His efforts are not successful, because the wealth of the family falls to pieces, their difficulties increase, the world laughs at their perpetual quarrels by which hearts and posses­ sions — which united were powerful against the world — are broken into a small knot of tiny opposite interests, and the ene­ mies of the family take more and more advantage of them to has­ ten their ruin. You must never be like that. Be united. Love one another. You must love one another to help one another. 3Look. Also what surrounds us teaches us this great strength. Look at this army of ants running all to the same place. Let us follow them. We will discover the reason for their sensible rush­ ing to one spot... Here it is. This little sister of theirs, with her ti­ ny organs which are invisible to us, has discovered a great treas­ ure under this large wild chicory leaf. It is a bread crumb which perhaps was dropped from the hands of a peasant who had come here to look after his olive-trees, or from the hands of a way­ farer who rested here in the shade eating his food, or of a child who was playing happily on the grass full of flowers. How could she trail this treasure to the hole by herself, as it is a thousand times her size? So she called a sister and said to her: “Look. Go quickly and tell our sisters that there is food here for the whole 9091. 3

tribe and for many days. Go before a bird discovers this treasure and calls his friends and they devour it”. And the little ant ran, panting because of the rough ground, up and down pebbles and stalks, until she reached the anthill and she said: “Come. One of us is calling you. She found enough for us all. But she can't bring it here by herself. Come”. And all the ants ran, also the ones who, already tired because of a hard day's work, were resting along the tunnels of the nest; also the ones who were laying in the store cells. One, ten, a hundred, a thousand... Look... They grasp it with their jaws, they lift it supporting it with their bodies and they drag it pushing their tiny feet on the ground. This one has fallen... that one there is almost crippled because the edge of the crumb, turning over, is squeezing her against a stone; and this one, so small, obviously one of the youngest in the tribe, is stop­ ping exhausted... but having caught her breath, she is starting again. Oh! How united they are! Look: now the bread crumb has been completely embraced by them and it is moving, very slow­ ly, but it is moving. Let us follow it... A little more, little sisters, still a little more, and your efforts will be rewarded... They are exhausted. But they do not give up. They rest and start again... Now they are reaching the ant nest. And now? Now they work to break the big crumb into little bits. Look how they work! Some cut bits off, some carry them away... It's all finished. Now it is all safely stored and they happily disappear into the crevices, down along the tunnels. They are ants. Nothing but ants. And yet they are strong because they are united. Meditate on that. 4Have you anything to ask Me? » «I would like to ask You: are we not going back to Judaea again? » asks Judas Iscariot. «Who said so? » «You did, Master. You said that You want to prepare Joseph so that he may teach the others in Judaea! Have You felt so hurt, that You do not want to go there again? » «What have they done to You in Judaea? » asks Thomas anx­ iously and Peter, at the same time, vehemently: «Ah! I was right then in saying that You had come back much thinner. What did the “perfect ones” in Israel do to You? » «Nothing, My friends. Nothing more than what I will find91. 4 91

even here. If I went round the whole world, I would find friends and enemies everywhere. But, Judas, I asked you to be quiet... » «That's true, but... No, I cannot be quiet when I see that You prefer Galilee to my fatherland. You are unfair. You were hon­ oured also there... » «Judas! Judas... Oh! Judas. Your reproach is unfair. And you accuse yourself, giving vent to wrath and jealousy. I had done My best to make known only the good I had received in your Judaea and without lying I was able to mention such good with joy, so that you people of Judaea might be loved. I did so with joy. Be­ cause for the Word of God there is no distinction of regions, there are no antagonisms, enmities, differences. I love all men. All of them... How can you say that I prefer Galilee when I worked the first miracles and the first demonstrations on the holy ground of the Temple and of the Holy City, so dear to every Israelite? How can you say that I am partial, if of My eleven disciples, or rath­ er ten, because My cousin is one of the family, not just a friend, four are Judaeans? And if I take into account also the shepherds, who are all from Judaea, you can see how many friends I have in Judaea. How can you say that I do not love you, if, knowing all things, I arranged My journey so as to give My name to a new­ born in Israel and receive the soul of a dying just man of Israel? How can you say I do not love you Judaeans, if I wanted two Ju­ daeans and only one Galilean to be present at the revelation of My birth and of My preparation to My mission? You accuse Me of injustice. But examine yourself, Judas, and consider whether you are not the unjust one. » Jesus has spoken with majesty and kindness. But even if He had not said anything else, the three ways in which He pro­ nounced «Judas» at the beginning of His speech, would have been sufficient to give him a good lesson. The first «Judas» was pronounced by the majestic God Who demands respect, the sec­ ond by the Master Who teaches in a fatherly manner, the third was the prayer of a friend grieved at the behaviour of a friend. Judas lowers his head mortified, but still bad-tempered, and ug­ ly looking because of low sentiments coming to light. 5Peter cannot keep silent. «At least beg His forgiveness, boy. If I had been in Jesus' place, you would not have got off just with words! You are more than unfair! You are lacking in respect, my91. 5

fine gentleman! Is that how they educate you in the Temple? Or is it you that cannot be educated? Because, if it is, then... » «That is enough, Peter. I said what was to be said. This will be a starting point for tomorrow's teaching. And now I will repeat to everybody what I told these disciples in Judaea: do not tell My Mother that Her Son was ill-treated by the Judaeans. She is al­ ready quite sad because She has realised that I am suffering. Re­ spect My Mother. She lives in seclusion and silence. She is active only in virtue and prayer for Me, for you, for everybody. Let the gloomy lights of the world and harsh quarrels be far away from Her retreat, which is protected by discretion and purity. Do not put even the shadow of hatred where everything is love. Please respect Her. She is braver than Judith, as you will see. But do not compel Her, before Her time, to taste the dregs, which are the sentiments of the wicked people of the world. That is, the senti­ ments of those who have not even a rough idea of God and God's Law. I spoke to you of them at the beginning: they are the idola­ ters who consider themselves the wise men of God and they thus add idolatry to pride. Let us go. » And Jesus sets out back to Nazareth. 92. Lesson to the disciples in the house of Nazareth. 30th January 1945. 1Jesus is once again teaching His disciples, whom he has ta­ ken under the shade of a huge walnut-tree, situated above Mary's garden, part of which is shaded by the protruding branches of the tree. It is a stormy day and a storm is impending, that is probably the reason why Jesus did not go too far from His house. Mary comes and goes from the garden to the house, and each time She looks up and smiles at Her Jesus, sitting on the grass near the tree-trunk, surrounded by His disciples. Jesus says: «I told you yesterday that today's lesson would be on what was caused yesterday by a careless word. And here is the lesson. You must consider as certain, and it should be your rule when acting, that nothing of what is hidden will remain such forev­ er. It is either God Who takes care to make known the work of92. 1 93

92. 2one of His children by means of His miracles, or by means of the words of just people who acknowledge the merits of a brother. Or it is Satan who, through the mouth of a careless person, I will not say more, reveals what good people preferred to say nothing about, so as not to provoke uncharitable situations; or Satan dis­ torts the truth in order to create confusion in the minds of peo­ ple. Therefore the moment always comes when hidden things are made known. You must always bear that in your minds. And may it restrain you from doing evil, without, however, encouraging you to re­ frain from doing good. How often one acts out of goodness, true goodness, but human goodness! And as such acting is human, that is, its intention is not perfect, one wishes it to be known to men and one is worried and gets enraged seeing that it remains unknown, and strives to make it known. No, My friends. Do not do that. Do good and give it to the eternal Lord. He knows how to make it known also to men, if it is for your own good. If instead that should impede your just actions, owing to a burst of proud satisfaction, then the Father will keep it secret, and will give you glory in Heaven in the presence of all the celestial Cohort. 2And never judge a deed by its appearance. Never accuse any­ one, because the actions of men may at times seem bad and yet conceal other reasons. A father, for instance, may say to his lazy glutton son: “Go away” which may seem hard and contrary to his paternal duties. But it is not always so. His “Go away” is sea­ soned with bitter tears shed more by the father than by the son, and it is accompanied by words and by the wish that the words may be true: “You will come back when you are sorry for your in­ dolence”. And it is also an act of justice with regards to the oth­ er sons, because it prevents a glutton from squandering in vice what also belongs to the others. It is bad, instead, if that word is pronounced by a father, who is at fault himself, against God and his own children, because in his selfishness he considers himself above God and deems he has rights also on the soul of his son. No. The spirit belongs to God and not even God violates the free­ dom of the soul, which is thus free to give itself or not. All actions seem identical to the world. And yet how much one differs from another! One is justice, the other a faulty arbitrary act. There­ fore never judge anybody. 94

3Peter yesterday asked Judas: “Who was your teacher? ” Let him never ask that again. Let no one accuse the other of what one sees in anybody. Teachers have the same words for all the pupils. How is it, then, that ten become just and ten wicked? It is because each adds of his own what he has in his heart, and that turns the scale towards good or towards bad. flow can the teacher then be accused of teaching wrongly, if the good he inculcated is over­ come by the excessive evil reigning in a heart? The first factor of success depends upon you. The teacher works at your ego. But if you are not susceptible to improvement, what can the teacher do? What am I? I solemnly tell you that there will be no teacher more patient, wise and perfect than I am. And yet, also of some of My disciples it will be said: “Who was his teacher? ” 4When judging do not allow yourselves to be overwhelmed by personal reasons. Yesterday Judas, who loves his region more than is fair, thought I was unfair to it. Man is often subject to such imponderable elements as love for his fatherland, or at­ tachment to an idea, and like a kingfisher that has lost its bear­ ings, he deviates from his destination. God is the destination. It is necessary to see everything in God, to see properly, without putting oneself or anything else above God. And if one makes a mistake... Peter, and you all, do not be intolerant! Have you re­ ally never made the mistake that hurts you so much when made by someone else? Are you sure? And supposing you never made it, what are you to do? Thank God and nothing else. And watch carefully. And unceasingly, so that tomorrow you will not fall into what has been avoided so far. See? The sky today is dark because of an impending hailstorm. And looking at the sky we said: “Do not let us go too far from home”. Well, if we can judge things, which however dangerous they may be, are nothing as compared to the danger of losing God's friendship by sinning, why can we not discern where there may be a danger for our souls? 5Look, there is My Mother over there. Can you conceive an in­ clination to evil in Her? Well, since love urges Her to follow Me, She will leave Her home when My love so wishes. But this morn­ ing, after asking Me once again — because She, My Teacher, used to say to Me: “Son, let Your Mother be among Your disciples. I want to learn Your doctrine”; She, Who possessed that doctrine92. 3 92. 4 92. 5 95

in Her womb and even before in Her soul, as a gift of God to the future Mother of His Incarnate Word — She said: “But... de­ cide whether I can come without losing My union with God, and without My heart being corrupted by what there is in the world and which You say penetrates with its stench, because My heart has always been, is and wants to be only of God. I search My heart, and as far as I know, I think I can do it, because... (and at this point unknowingly, She gave Herself the highest praise)... because I find no difference between the spotless peace I enjoyed as a flower in the Temple and the peace I have now within Me, now that I have been a housewife for over thirty years. But I am an unworthy servant who does not know the things of the spirit well and is even less capable of judging them. You are the Word, the Wisdom, the Light. And You may be the light of Your poor Mother Who is agreeable not to see You any longer, rather than not be grateful to the Lord”. And I had to say to Her, while My heart trembled with admiration: “Mother, I tell You: It is not You that will be corrupted by the world. But it is the world that will be purified by You”. My Mother, as you have just heard, has been able to see the dangers of living in the world, dangers also for Her. And You, 92. 6 men, should you not see them? 6Oh! Satan is really lying in wait. And only those on the alert will win. And the others? You are asking about the others? For the others it will be as it was writ­ ten. » «What was written, Master? » «“And Cain set on Abel and killed him. And the Lord said to Cain: 'Where is your brother? What have you done with him? The voice of his blood is crying to Me. Now you shall be accursed on the earth that has tasted human blood at the hands of a brother who has opened the veins of his brother and that horrid thirst of the earth for human blood will never cease. And the earth, poi­ soned by that blood, will be more sterile than a woman withered by age. And you shall be a fugitive seeking peace and bread. And you shall not find them. On account of your remorse, you shall see blood on every flower and blade of grass, on all waters and food. The sky will seem blood to you and the sea blood and from the sky, from the earth and the sea three voices will reach you: the voice of God, of the Innocent, of the Demon. And you will kill 96

yourself not to hear them'”. » «Genesis does not say that» remarks Peter. «No. Genesis does not. But I do. And I am not mistaken. And I say so for the new Cains of the new Abels. For those who not watching over themselves and the Enemy, will become one thing with him. » «But none of us will be such, is that right, Master? » «John, when the Veil of the Temple will be torn, a great truth will be written brightly all over Zion. » «Which, my Lord? » «That the children of darkness have in vain been in touch with the Light. Remember that, John. » «Will I be a son of darkness, Master? » «No, not you. But remember that, to explain the Crime to the world. » «Which crime, Lord? Cain's? » «No: that is the first chord of Satan's hymn. I am referring to the perfect Crime. The inconceivable Crime. The one, to under­ stand which, it is necessary to look at it through the sun of divine Love and through Satan's mind. Because only the perfect Love and the perfect hatred, only the infinite Good and the infinite Evil can explain such Offer and such Sin. Do you hear that? Sa­ tan seems to be listening and shouting out of the desire to com­ mit it. Let us go before the cloud bursts with lightning and hail stones. » And they run down the cliff jumping into Mary's garden while the storm begins to rage. 93. Lesson to the disciples in the presence of Holy Mary in the garden of the house of Nazareth. Comfort to Judas of Alphaeus. 31st January 1945. 1Jesus goes into the kitchen garden, which looks as if it has been washed by the storm of the previous evening. And He sees His Mother bending over some little plants. He goes up to Her and greets Her. How sweet is their kiss! Jesus embraces Her shoulders with His left arm and draws Her to Himself kissing93. 1 97

93. 2Her forehead, just under Her hair line and He then bows down to be kissed by His Mother on the cheek. But what completes the sweetness of the gesture is the glance that accompanies it. Jesus' look is full of love, although majestic and protective; Mary's is all veneration and love. When they kiss each other like that, Jesus seems to be the older of the two, and Mary is like a young daugh­ ter receiving the morning kiss from her father or from a much older brother. 2«Were Your flowers damaged by yesterday evening's hail­ stones and by last night's wind? » asks Jesus. «No harm, Master. Only the branches were badly ruffled» an­ swers Peter in a somewhat hoarse voice, before Mary can speak. Jesus looks up and sees Simon Peter, with only his short tunic on, busy straightening some fig-tree branches which were bent upwards. «Are you working already? » «Eh! We fishermen sleep like the fish: at any time, anywhere, but only as long as they let us rest. And one gets used to it. This morning I heard the door squeak at dawn and I said: “Simon, She is already up. Be quick! Go and help Her with your strong hands”. I thought She might be worrying about Her flowers in such a windy night. And I was not wrong. Eh! I know what women are like!... My wife also tosses about in her bed, like a fish in the net, when there is a storm and she worries about her plants... Dear woman! Sometimes I say to her: “I bet you do not toss so much when your Simon is thrown about like a straw on the lake! ” But it is not fair, because she is a good wife. It seems impossible that her mother is... Well, be quiet, Peter. That's got nothing to do with it. It is not right to grumble and imprudent­ ly tell people what out of kindness we should not mention. See, Master, Your word has entered also my stubborn head! » Jesus replies laughing: «You are saying everything yourself. I can but approve and admire your wisdom as a farmer. » «He has already tied all the shoots which had become loose, he has supported the pear-tree which is too heavily laden, and he placed those ropes under that pomegranate-tree, which is grow­ ing all on one side» says Mary. «Yes! It looks like an old Pharisee. It leans to the side that suits it. And I straightened it up as if it were a sail and I said to it: “Don't you know that you must keep to a happy medium? Come 98

here, you blockhead, or you will crash down because of your ex­ cessive weight”. Now I am working at this fig-tree. But out of selfishness. I am thinking of everybody's appetite: fresh figs and new bread! Ah! Not even Antipas has such a good meal! But I must be careful, because the branches of a fig-tree are as tender as a young girl's heart, when she says her first words of love, and I am heavy, and the best figs are at the top. They have already been dried by the early sun. They must be delicious. 3Eh! Boy. 93. 3 Don't stand there looking at me. Wake up! Give me that basket. » John, who has just come out of the workshop, obeys and climbs up the big fig-tree. When the two fishermen come down, also Simon Zealot, Joseph and Judas Iscariot have come out from the workshop. I do not see the others. Mary brings some new bread: small round brown loaves, which Peters cuts with his pocket knife and then places the split figs onto them, and offers them first to Jesus, then to Mary and the others. They eat with relish in the cooled kitchen garden, which is so beautiful in the bright morning sunshine, also be­ cause of the recent rain which has cleaned the air. Peter says: «This is Friday... Master, tomorrow is the Sab­ bath... » «We all know that» remarks the Iscariot. «Of course. But the Master knows what I mean... » «Yes, I know. This evening we will go to the lake, where you left your boat and we will sail to Capernaum. Tomorrow I will speak there. » Peter is overjoyed. Thomas, Andrew, James, Philip, Bartholomew and Judas Thaddeus, who must have slept elsewhere, come in all together. They greet one another. 4Jesus says: «Let us stay here all together. There will be also a 93. 4 new disciple. Mother, come. » They sit down, some on stones, some on stools, forming a cir­ cle around Jesus, Who has sat on the stone bench against the wall with His Mother beside Him and at His feet John, who pre­ ferred to sit on the ground in order to be close. Jesus begins speaking slowly and solemnly as usual. «To what shall I compare the apostolic formation? To the na­ ture surrounding us. See. The earth in winter seems dead. But 99

inside it the seeds are active and the lymphs feed on moisture which they store in the underground branches — I could call the roots thus — so that they may have plenty for the upper branches when it is time to blossom. You also can be compared to the win­ ter earth: barren, naked, ugly looking. But the Sower has passed on you and has spread the seed. The Tiller has come near you and has broken up the soil around your trunks, which are as hard and rough as the soil in which they are planted, so that the roots may receive nourishment from the clouds and from the air and the trunks may be strengthened for the future fruit. And you have received the seed and the tillage because you are willing to bear fruit in the work of God. I will also compare your apostolic formation to the storm which struck and bent and seemed a purposeless violence. But see how much good it has done. The air today is purer, fresher, without dust or sultriness. The sun is the same sun as yester­ day's. But it is not so scorching as yesterday when it seemed like a high temperature, because its rays reach us through purified and fresh air. The herbs and plants are relieved as well as men, because cleanliness and serenity cheer up all things. Also con­ trasts help to attain a more precise knowledge and clarification. Otherwise they would be nothing but wickedness. And what are contrasts if not the storms that stir up different types of clouds? And do such clouds not pile up slowly in the hearts of men in use­ less bad moods, petty jealousies and vain pride? Then the wind of Grace blows and gathers them together that they may discharge their ill humours and the sky may clear up again. And your apostolic moulding is like the work that Peter was doing this morning for the delight of My Mother: which is to straighten, tie, support or undo, according to the varying situ­ ations and necessities, to make you “strong workers” at the ser­ vice of God. It is necessary to correct wrong ideas, to tie and sub­ due the rebelling flesh, to support weaknesses, to cut off evil in­ clinations if necessary, and to free from slavery and timidity. You must be free and strong. Like eagles, that leave their native mountain tops and fly higher and higher. The service of God is the flight. Affections are the mountain tops. 5One among you is sad today because his father's life is on the decline. And he is declining with his heart closed to the Truth 10093. 5