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33. 2small golden clouds in the clear sky. Some herds were going back to their folds, browsing on the last grass of a flowery meadow and bleating with their heads uplifted. The Child was about to fall asleep. He seemed a little restless, as if He had teething trouble, or some other minor pain of child­ hood. 2I wrote the song on a piece of paper as best as I could, in the dim light of a very early morning, and I will now copy it. «Little golden clouds — seem the herds of the Lord On the meadow full of flowers — another herd is watching. But if I had all the herds — that exist in the world, The lambkin dearest to Me — You would always be. Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, Cry no more... Many glittering stars — are twinkling in the sky. May Your sweet gentle eyes — shed no more tears. Your eyes of sapphire — are the stars of My heart. Your tears make Me cry — oh! cry no more. Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, Cry no more... All the sparkling angels — that ere in Heaven, Form a wreath around You, innocent Child-enraptured by Your face. But You're crying for Your Mummy — Mummy, Mummy, Mum. To sing Your lullaby — lulla, lulla, lu. Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, Cry no more... The sky will soon be pink — and dawn will soon be back, And Mummy had no rest — to ensure You do not cry. “Mamma” when awake You'll call Me — “Son” I will reply. A kiss of love and life — I'll give you with My breast. Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, Cry no more... You do need Your Mummy — also if You dream of Heaven. Come, do come! Under My veil — I will make You sleep. 204

My breast is Your pillow—Your cradle My arms, Do not fear, My dear — I'm here with You... Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, Cry no more... I'll always be with You — You're the life of My heart... He is sleeping... like a flower — Resting on My breast... He is sleeping... Be quiet! — His Father perhaps He sees, And the sight wipes the tears — Of my sweet Jesus. He Sleeps, sleeps, sleeps, sleeps, And He cries no more... » 3It is impossible to describe the graceful charm of the scene. It is only a mother lulling Her little one. But she is that Mother, and He is that Little One! You can therefore imagine what graceful­ ness, what love, what purity, what Paradise is in this little, great, sweet scene, the memory of which makes me so happy and is con­ firmed by the melody I continuously sing, so that you may also hear it. But I do not have the most pure silvery voice of Mary, the virginal voice of the Virgin!... And I will sound like a broken or­ gan. It does not matter. I will do my best. What a beautiful pasto­ ral it would be, to be sung round the Crib at Christmas! Mary at first rocked the wooden cradle very slowly. After­ wards, when She saw that Jesus was not calming down, She took Him in Her arms, sitting near the open window, with the cradle beside Her and swinging lightly to the rhythm of the song, She repeated the lullaby twice, until Jesus closed His little eyes, He turned His head round on to His Mother's breast and fell asleep thus, His little face resting on the cosy warmth of His Mother's breast, one hand on Her breast near His rosy cheek, the other one relaxed on Her lap. Mary's veil shaded Her Holy Creature. Then Mary got up most carefully and laid Jesus in the cra­ dle, She covered Him with small linens, She spread a veil to pro­ tect Him from flies and the fresh air, and She remained contem­ plating Her sleeping Treasure. She held one hand over Her heart, while the other was leaning on the cradle, ready to rock it if nec­ essary, and She smiled happily, slightly bent while darkness and silence were falling on the earth and were invading Her little virginal room. 33. 3 205

33. 4 34. 1 34. 2What peace! What beauty! I am so happy! 4It is not a grand vision and it may be considered quite use­ less, if compared with the other visions, as it does not reveal any­ thing special. I know. But it is a real grace to me and I consider it such, because it makes my spirit placid, pure, loving, as if it were created again by Mother's hands. I think that you will like it as well, in that sense. We are «little children». Better thus! Jesus likes us. Let the others, who are learned and complicated, think what they like and let them say that we are «childish». We do not mind, do we? 34. The visit of the Magi. 28th February 1944. 1My internal voice warns me: «Call the contemplations you are about to receive and I will tell you, 'The Gospels of faith', because they will clarify for you and other people the power of faith and of its fruits and will con­ firm you in the faith in God. » 2I see Bethlehem, small and white, gathered like a brood of chickens under the stars. Two main streets divide the town crosswise: one coming from beyond the town, and it is the main road that continues on the other side, the other road runs across the town, from one side to the other, but does not proceed further. There are other small streets dividing the town into many sec­ tions, without the slightest resemblance to a road layout as we know it, but suited to both the ground, on various levels, and to the various houses built here and there, according to the charac­ teristics of the ground and the whims of the builder. Some run to the right, others to the left, some at a corner with the road skirt­ ing them, which consequently seems like a ribbon unwinding tortuously instead of being a straight one running from one end to the other without any diversion. Now and again there is a lit­ tle square serving either for a market, or a fountain, or because, due to the total lack of a building layout, there is a small piece of sloping ground, not suitable for any structure. The place where I seem to be standing, appears to be exact­ 206

ly one of those irregular little squares. It should be square, or at least rectangular. It is instead so strange a kind of trapezium that it looks like an obtuse angled triangle with a blunted tip. On the longest side: the base of the triangle, there is a low wide building, the widest in the village. Outside, there is a smooth, bare, high wall, with only two doors, which at present are closed. Inside instead, in the large square, there are many windows on the first floor; while underneath there are arcades surrounding yards strewn with straw and rubble, with drinking troughs for horses and other animals. Attached to the rustic pillars, there are rings to which the animals are tied, and on one side there is a large shed to shelter herds and mounts. I realise that it is the Inn of Bethlehem. On the other two equal sides there are several houses, some large, some small, some with a little orchard, some without, be­ cause in some cases the front of the house looks onto the square, in others, it is in the rear of the house facing the square. On the narrow side, facing the caravanserai, there is only one lit­ tle house, with an outside staircase, which reaches the first floor and leads into its rooms. All the rooms are closed because it is night. There is nobody in the streets, as it is so late. 3I notice that the night light is increasing, it descends from a sky crowded with stars, which are so beautiful in the eastern sky: they are so bright and large and seemingly so near that it is possible to reach them and touch those flowers sparkling in the velvet of the vault of Heaven. I raise my eyes to see the source of the increasing light. A star, of such an unusual size that the moon seems small in comparison, is moving forward in the sky of Bethlehem. And all the others seem to vanish and make room for it, as maidservants do when their queen passes by: its brightness is such that it outshines them all. From the sphere, which looks like a huge pale sapphire lit up internally by a sun, a trail de­ parts in which blond topazes, green emeralds, opalescent opals, blood-red flashes of rubies and gentle sparklings of amethysts mingle with the prevailing pale sapphire. All the precious stones on earth are in the trail that sweeps the sky with a fast and un­ dulating movement as if it were alive. But the prevailing col­ our is the one emanating from the globe of the star: the heavenly pale sapphire hue which comes down and makes the houses, the34. 3 207

streets, the ground of Bethlehem, the Saviour's cradle, look like blue silver. It is no longer the poor town, which by our standards is smaller than a country village. It is a fantastic town of a fairy tale, all in silver. And the water of the fountains and of the ves­ sels is liquid diamond. And with a brighter radiation of light the star stops over the little house on the narrowest side of the square. Neither the peo­ ple dwelling in it, nor the people in Bethlehem see it, because they are all asleep in their closed houses, but the star accelerates its shining pulsations and the trail vibrates and wavers faster and faster drawing a kind of semicircle in the sky. And the sky lights up because of the net of stars drawn by the trail, a net full of precious jewels which shine and colour all the other stars with the most graceful hues, as if they were communicating their own joy to them. The little house is transfigured by the liquid fire of gems. The roof of the small terrace, the dark stone steps, the little door, are like a block of pure silver sprayed with diamond and pearl dust. No royal palace on earth has ever had or ever will have a stair­ case like this one, built to be used by angels and by a Mother Who is the Mother of God. The little feet of the Immaculate Virgin can alight on that white splendour, the little feet which are des­ tined to rest on the steps of God's throne. But the Virgin does not know. She is awake near her Son's cradle and is praying. There are splendours in Her soul which outdo the splendour with which the star is decorating material things. 4From the main road a cavalcade is approaching. Harnessed horses are led by hand, dromedaries and camels bear riders or are carrying loads. Their hooves make the sound of water that rustles and breaks against the stones of a torrent. When they reach the square, they all stop. The cavalcade, lit up by the star, is a fantasy of splendour. The harnesses of the most rich mounts, the clothes of the riders, their faces, their baggage, everything shines and the light of the star increases the splendour of metals, leathers, silks, gems, coats. Eyes are radiant and mouths smiling because another splendour shines in their hearts: the splendour of a supernatural joy. While the servants move towards the caravanserai with the animals, three members of the caravan dismount from their 20834. 4

mounts, which a servant takes away at once, and they walk to­ wards the house. And they prostrate themselves, touching the ground with their foreheads, to kiss the soil. They are three pow­ erful individuals as is quite obvious from their very rich attire. One of them, of a very dark complexion, who dismounts from a camel, wraps himself in a sciamma* of pure bright silk, held tight to his waist by a precious girdle, from which a dagger or sword hangs with a jewel-studded hilt. Of the other two, who dismount from two splendid horses, one is wearing a beautiful striped robe, the dominant colour of which is yellow, fashioned like a long domino with hood and cordon, which looks like a piece of gold filigree owing to the very rich golden embroidery. The third one is wearing a silk shirt puffing out of long large trou­ sers, narrow at the ankles. He is wrapped in a very fine shawl which resembles a flowery garden, so bright are the flowers dec­ orating it. On his head he has a turban held by a little chain cov­ ered with diamond settings. After venerating the house where the Saviour is, they rise and go towards the caravanserai where the servants have knocked and had the door opened. 5And the vision ends here. Its starts again, three hours later, 34. 5 with the scene of the Magi adoring Jesus. It is daytime now. The sun is shining in the afternoon sky. One of the servants of the three Magi crosses the square and climbs the steps of the little house. He goes in. He comes out and goes back to the hotel. The three Magi come out, each followed by his own servant. They cross the square. The occasional passers-by turn round to look at the stately individuals who are walking very slowly and solemnly. A full quarter of an hour has elapsed since the serv­ ant came out and thus the inhabitants of the little house have had time to prepare to receive the guests. The Magi are even more richly dressed than the night before. Their silks shine, the gems sparkle, a big bunch of precious feath­ ers, covered with even more precious chips, quivers and shines on the head of the Wise Man wearing the turban. One of the servants is carrying an inlaid coffer, the metal re-* sciamma : ethiopian garment. 209

inforcements of which are all engraved with gold; the second servant is holding a beautifully wrought chalice covered with a pure gold lid which is even more finely finished; the third serv­ ant has a kind of wide low amphora, also in gold, the cover of which is shaped like a pyramid at the top of which there is a dia­ mond. The gifts appear to be heavy, because the servants are car­ rying them with some effort, especially the one with the coffer. The Magi climb the steps and go in. They enter a room that extends from the road to the back of the house. The little kitchen garden at the back can be seen through a window which is open to the sun. There are doors in the other two walls, and the own­ ers, that is a man, a woman and some boys and younger children cast sidelong glances through them. 6Mary is sitting with the Child in Her lap and Joseph is stand­ ing near Her. But She also gets up and bows when She sees the Magi entering. She is all dressed in white. She is so beautiful in Her plain white dress which covers Her from Her neck down to Her feet, from Her shoulders to Her slender wrists. She is so beautiful with Her head crowned with Her blond plaits, Her face more rosy due to the emotion, with Her eyes smiling so sweetly while Her mouth gives a greeting: «May God be with you», that the three Magi stop for a moment, completely astonished. They then proceed and prostrate themselves at Her feet. And they ask Her to sit down. They do not sit down, although She asks them to do so. They remain kneeling, relaxing on their heels. Behind them, also on their knees, are the three servants. They are immediately after the threshold. They have placed the three gifts they were carry­ ing in front of the Magi, and now they are waiting. The three Wise Men contemplate the Child, Who I think must be nine to twelve months old, He is so lively and strong. He is sitting on His Mother's lap and smiles and prattles with a shrill voice like a little bird. He is all dressed in white like His Moth­ er, with tiny sandals on His little feet. His dress is a very simple one: a small tunic, from which His restless feet protrude, and His plump little hands which would like to get hold of everything, and above all, a most beautiful little face in which two dark blue eyes shine, and a pretty mouth with dimples at the sides shows its first tiny teeth when it smiles. His pretty little curls are so bright 21034. 6

and soft that they seem gold dust. 7The oldest of the Magi speaks on behalf of them all. He ex-34. 7 plains to Mary that one night the previous December, they saw a new star of an unusual brightness appear in the sky. The maps of the sky had never shown or mentioned such a star. Its name was unknown because it had no name. Born out of the bosom of God, it had flourished to tell men a blessed truth, a secret of God. But men had not paid any attention to it, because their souls were steeped in mud. They did not lift their eyes to God neither could they read the words that He writes with stars of fire in the vault of Heaven. May He be blessed forever. They had seen it and had striven to understand its meaning. They were happy to give up the little sleep they usually granted themselves and forgetting even their food, they devoted them­ selves entirely to studying the zodiac. And the conjunctions of the stars, the time, the season, the calculation of the hours passed and of the astronomic combinations had told them the name and the secret of the star. Its name: «Messiah». Its secret: «The Messi­ ah had come to our world». And they had set out to worship Him. Each of them unknown to the others. Over mountains, across de­ serts, along valleys and rivers, travelling by night they had come towards Palestine, because the star was moving in that direction. For each of them, from three different points on the earth, it was going in that direction. And then they met beyond the Dead Sea. God's will had gathered them there, and they then proceeded together, understanding one another, despite the fact that each spoke his own language: by a miracle of the Eternal Father they were able to understand and speak the language of each country. They had gone together to Jerusalem, because the Messiah was to be the King of Jerusalem, the King of the Jews. But over the sky of that city, the star had concealed itself and they felt their hearts breaking with pain and had examined themselves to understand whether they had failed to deserve God. But when their consciences reassured them, they had turned to king Herod and had asked him in which royal palace the King of the Jews was born because they had come to adore Him. And the king had gathered the chief priests and the scribes and had asked them where the Messiah might be born. And they had replied: «In Bethlehem, in Judah. » 211

34. 8And they had come towards Bethlehem and as soon as they left the Holy City, the star had reappeared to them, and the night before their arrival in Bethlehem its brightness had increased; the whole sky was ablaze. Then the star had stopped above this house engulfing all the light of the other stars in its ray. And they had understood that the Divine New-Born Baby was there. And now they were worshipping Him, offering their gifts, and above all, their hearts, which never cease thanking God for the grace granted to them; neither would they ever stop loving His Son Whose holy human body they had now seen. Later they intended to go back to king Herod, because he also wanted to adore Him. 8«In the meantime, here is the gold which befits a king to pos­ sess, here is the incense which befits a God, and here, Mother, here is the myrrh because Your Child is a Man as well as God and He will experience the bitterness of the flesh and of human life as well as the inevitable law of death. Our souls, full as they are of love, would prefer not to utter those words and we would rather think that His flesh is also eternal as His Spirit. But, Wo­ man, if our writings and above all our souls are right, He is Your Son, the Saviour, the Christ of God and consequently, to save the world, He will have to take upon Himself the evil of the world, of which one of the punishments is death. This myrrh is for that hour. That His holy flesh may not be subject to the rot of putre­ faction, but may preserve its integrity until its resurrection. And on account of this gift, may He remember us and save His ser­ vants by allowing them to enter His Kingdom. In the meantime that we may be sanctified, will You, Mother, trust Your Little One to our love. That His heavenly blessing may descend upon us, while we kiss His feet. » Mary, Who has overcome the fright caused by the words of the Wise Man, and has hidden with a smile the sadness of the doleful allusion, offers the Child. She lays Him in the arms of the oldest one, who kisses Him and receives His caress, and he then hands Him over to the other two. Jesus smiles and plays with the little chains and fringes of the robes of the three Magi and He looks curiously at the open coffer, full of a yellow sparkling substance, and He smiles at the rain­ bow produced by the sun shining on the brilliant top of the lid of the myrrh. 212

9They then hand the Child back to Mary and they stand up. Mary also gets up. They bow to one another, after the youngest has given an order to the servant, who goes out. The three Men carry on speaking for a little while. They cannot make up their minds to depart from the house. Tears shine in their eyes. At last they move towards the door, accompanied by Mary and Joseph. The Child wanted to get down and give His hand to the old­ est of the three, and He walks thus, held by His hands by Mary and the Wise Man, both of whom bend down to steady Him. Je­ sus walks with a hesitant step, like all children, and He laughs stamping His little feet on the strip of the floor lit up by the sun. When they reach the threshold — we must not forget that the room is as long as the house — the Magi take leave kneeling down once again kissing Jesus' feet. Mary, bending down over the Child, takes His hand and guides it, in a blessing gesture over the head of each Wise Man. It is already a sign of the cross*, traced by Jesus' little fingers, guided by Mary. The three Men go down the steps. The caravan is already there waiting for them. The horses' studs shine in the setting sun. Peo­ ple have gathered in the little square watching the unusual sight. Jesus laughs clapping His hands. His Mother has lifted Him up on the wide parapet of the landing and is holding Him against Her breast with an arm so that He does not fall. Joseph has gone down with the Magi and is holding the stirrup to each of them while they mount their horses and the camel. Servants and masters are now all on horseback. The starting command is given. The three Men bow down as low as the necks of their mounts in a final gesture of homage. Joseph bows down. Also Mary bows and then She guides Jesus' hand again in a ges­ ture of goodbye and blessing. 10Jesus says: «And now what shall I tell you, o souls who feel your faith is dying? Those Wise Men from the East had nothing to assure them of the truth. Nothing supernatural. All they had was an as­ tronomic calculation and their own considerations made perfect * a sign of the cross, M. V. specifies-in a note-to be the TAU: the cross-shaped letter of the greek alphabet with which the saved were marked on the forehead. As in Ezekiel 9: 4-6. 34. 9 34. 10 213

34. 11by a strictly honest life. And yet they had faith. Faith in every­ thing: in science, in their own conscience, in God's goodness. Science made them believe in the sign of the new star, which could only be 'the one' expected by mankind for centuries: the Messiah. Because of their consciences they had faith in the voic­ es of their consciences, which heard heavenly 'voices' saying to them: 'That is the star announcing the advent of the Messiah'. Because of God's goodness they believed that God would not de­ ceive them, and since their intention was good, He would help them in every way to reach their aim. And they were successful. Among so many people fond of studying signs, they were the only ones who understood that sign, because only their souls were anxious to know the words of God for an honest purpose, the main care of which was to praise and honour God immediately. 11They did not seek any personal advantage. On the contrary, they have to face hardships and meet expenses but they do not ask for any human reward. They only ask God to remember them and save them for eternal life. As they have no desire for any future human rewards, so they have no human worry, when they decide on their journey. You would have had hundreds of problems: 'How will I be able to make such a long journey in countries and among peoples speak­ ing different languages? Will they believe me or will they put me in prison as a spy? What help will they give me to cross deserts, rivers and mountains? And the heat? And the winds of the high­ lands? And the malarial fever along stagnant marshes? And the floods and heavy rains? And the different food? And the differ­ ent languages? And... and... and... ' That is your way of thinking. But they do not think like that. With sincere, holy daring they say: 'You, o God, can read our hearts and You see the purpose we are aiming at. We trust to Your hands. Grant us the superhu­ man joy of adoring Your Second Person, Who has become Flesh to save the world'. That is all. And they set out from the far away Indies*. From the Mongolian chains of mountains which are the dominion of eagles and vultures, where God speaks with roars of winds and * away Indies: Jesus then tells me that when He says the Indies, He means south­ ern Asia where Turkey, Afghanistan and Persia are located in our geography. 214

torrents and writes words of mystery on the immense pages of glaciers. From the land where the Nile rises and then flows with its green blue waters to the azure heart of the Mediterranean, neither mountains, nor woods, nor sands, dry oceans more dan­ gerous than the seas, can stop them from proceeding. And the star shines upon them at night, preventing them from sleeping. When one seeks God, natural habits must yield to superhuman considerations and necessities. The star guides them from the north, the east and the south, and by a miracle of God, it proceeds for the three of them to­ wards one point. And by another miracle of God, after many miles it gathers them at that point and by a further miracle, it anticipates the Pentecost Wisdom, bestowing on them the gift of understanding and making themselves understood, as it hap­ pens in Paradise, where only one language is spoken: God's. 12They are dismayed only for one moment, when the star dis­ appears and since they are humble, because they are really great, they do not think it is due to the wickedness of other people, as the corrupted people of Jerusalem did not deserve to see the star of God. But they think they had failed to deserve God themselves and they examine themselves with trepidation and contrition ready to beg forgiveness. But their consciences reassure them. Their souls were accus­ tomed to meditation and each of them had a most sensitive con­ science, refined by constant attention, and by sharp introspec­ tion, which made of their interior a mirror from which even the slightest faults of daily actions are reflected. Their conscience has become their teacher, a voice that warns and cries not at the least error, but at the least inclination towards errors, at eve­ rything human, at the satisfaction of one's ' ego'. Consequently, when they place themselves before that teacher and that severe clean mirror, they know that it will not lie. It reassures them and gives them heart. 'Oh! How sweet it is to feel that there is nothing against God in us! To feel that He is kindly looking at the soul of His faithful son and blesses him. Faith, trust, hope, strength and patience are increased by such a feeling. The storm is raging just now. But it will pass, because God loves me and He knows that I love Him and He will not fail to help me again'. That is how those speak34. 12 215

34. 13who enjoy the peace that comes from an upright conscience, that is the queen of every action of theirs. 13I said that they were 'humble because they were really great. ' What happens, instead, in your lives? There a man is never hum­ ble not because he is great, but because he is more domineering and makes himself mighty by means of his arrogance and be­ cause of your silly idolatry. There are some wretched men who, simply because they are the butlers of some overbearing fellow, or ushers in some office, or officials in some small village, that is, servants of those who employed them, put on the airs of demi­ gods. And they arouse pity!... The three Wise Men were really great. Firstly, because of their supernatural virtues, secondly because of their science, last be­ cause of their wealth. But they feel that they are nothing: dust on the dust of the earth, in comparison with the Most High God, Who with a smile creates the worlds and scatters them like grains of corn to satisfy the eyes of the angels with the jewels of the stars. They feel they are a mere nothing as compared to the Most High God Who created the planet on which they live and He made it most varied. An Infinite Sculptor of boundless works, with a touch of His thumb, He placed a ring of hills here, the bone structure of mountain ridges and peaks there, like vertebrae of the earth, of this enormous body, the veins of which are the riv­ ers, its basins the lakes, its hearts the oceans, its dresses the for­ ests, its veils the clouds, its decorations the crystal glaciers, its gems the turquoises and the emeralds, the opals and the beryls of all the waters that sing, with the woods and the winds, the great chorus of praise to their Lord. But they feel they are nothing with regard to their wisdom as compared to the Most High God, from Whom their wisdom comes and Who gave them more powerful eyes than those two pupils by means of which they see things: the eyes of their souls, which know how to read in things the word not written by hu­ man hands, but engraved by God's thought. And they feel they are nothing with regard to their wealth: an atom as compared to the wealth of the Owner of the universe, Who scatters metals and gems in the stars and planets and grants supernatural, unexhausted riches to the hearts of those who love Him. 216

14And when they arrive before the poor house, in the poorest 34. 14 town in Judah, they do not shake their heads saying: 'Impossible', but they bend their backs, their knees, and above all their hearts and they adore. There, behind that poor wall, there is God. The God they have always invoked, but never had the least hope of seeing. And they invoke Him for the welfare of all mankind, and 'their' eternal welfare. Oh! that was their only wish. To see Him, know Him, possess Him in the life where there are no more dawns and sunsets! He is there, behind that poor wall. Will His heart of a Child, which is still the heart of a God, perceive those three hearts, which prostrated in the dust of the road are crying: 'Holy, Holy, Holy, Blessed the Lord Our God. Glory to Him in the Highest Heaven and peace to His servants. Glory, glory, glory and bless­ ings. '? They are wondering with loving tremor. And during the whole night and the following morning they prepare with the most ar­ dent prayer their souls for the communion with the Child-God. They do not go to that altar, which is the virginal lap holding the Divine Host, with their souls full of human worries, as you do. They forget to eat and to sleep, and if they wear the most beauti­ ful robes, it is not for human ostentation, but to honour the King of kings. In royal palaces the dignitaries wear the most beauti­ ful clothes. And should the Magi not go to that King in their best garments? Which greater opportunity is there for them? Oh! In their far away countries, many a time they had to adorn themselves for men like themselves. To welcome and honour them. It is only fair, therefore, that they should prostrate purples and jewels, silks and precious feathers at the feet of the Supreme King. It is fair to put at His sweet little feet the fibres of the earth, the gems of the earth, the feathers of the earth, the metals of the earth — they are all His work — so that all these things of the earth may adore their Creator. And they would be happy if the Little Creature should order them to lie down on the ground and become a living carpet for His little baby steps, and if He tram­ pled on them, since He left the stars to come down to them, who are but dust. 15They were humble, generous and obedient to the 'voices' 34. 15 from Above. They tell them to take gifts to the New-Born King. 217

34. 16And they take gifts. They do not say: 'He is rich and does not need them. He is God and will not die'. They obey. And they are the first to help the Saviour in His poverty. How useful that gold will be for Him Who is about to be a fugitive! How meaningful that myrrh is for Him Who will soon be killed! How pious that incense is for Him Who will have to smell the stench of human lewdness raging round His infinite purity! They were humble, generous, obedient and respectful to one another. Virtues always generate other virtues. From the virtues directed to God, derive the virtues regarding our neighbours. Respect, which is charity. The oldest is entrusted with the task of speaking on behalf of them all, he is the first to receive the Sav­ iour's kiss and to hold Him by His little hand. The others will be able to see Him again. He will not, because he is old and the day for his return to God is not far away. He will see Christ after His heart-rending death and will follow Him, together with the oth­ er blessed souls, in His return to Heaven. But he will never see Him again in this world. May, therefore, the warmth of His little hand entrusted to his wrinkled one, be a viaticum for him. There is no envy in the others. On the contrary, their venera­ tion for the old Wise Man increases. He certainly deserved more than they did, and for a longer period of time. The God-Infant knows. The Word of the Father does not speak yet, but every ac­ tion of His is a word. And may His innocent word be blessed, be­ cause it designated him as His favourite. 16But, My dear children, there are two more lessons in this vi­ sion. The behaviour of Joseph who knows how to keep 'his' place. He is present as the guardian of Purity and Holiness. But not as the usurper of their rights. It is Mary with Jesus who receives the homage and the words. Joseph rejoices because of Her and does not grieve because he is a secondary figure. Joseph is a just man: he is the Just Man. And he is always just. Also at the present mo­ ment. The fumes of the feast do not go to his head. He remains humble and just. He is happy for the gifts. Not for himself, but because he thinks that with them he will be able to make his Spouse's and the sweet Child's lives more comfortable. There is no greed in Jo­ seph. He is a workman and will continue to work. But he is anx­ 218

ious that 'They', his two loves, should be comfortable. Neither he nor the Magi know that those gifts will be needed for an escape and a life in exile, when riches vanish like clouds scattered by winds, as well as for their return to their country, where they have lost everything, customers and household furnishings, and where only the walls of their house have been saved, protected as they were by God, because there He was united to the Virgin and became Flesh. Joseph is humble, in fact, although he is the guardian of God and of the Mother of God and Spouse of the Most High, he holds the stirrups of these vassals of God. He is a poor carpenter, be­ cause sustained human pressures have deprived David's heirs of their royal wealth. But he is always the offspring of a king, and has the manners of a king. Also of him it must he said: 'He was humble, because he was really great'. 17A last, kind, important lesson. It is Mary who takes the hand of Jesus, Who does not yet know how to bless, and She guides it in the holy gesture. It is always Mary who takes Jesus' hand and guides it. Even now. Now Jesus knows how to bless. But sometimes His pierced hand falls down tired and disheartened, because He knows that it is useless to bless. You destroy My blessing. It falls also indig­ nant, because you curse Me. It is Mary then Who removes the dis­ dain from My hand with Her kisses. Oh! the kiss of My Mother! Who can resist that kiss? And then, with Her slender, but loving­ ly irresistible fingers, She takes My wrist and forces Me to bless. I cannot reject My Mother, but you must go to Her, and make Her your Advocate. She is My Queen, before being yours, and Her love for you makes such allowances that no one can possibly im­ agine or understand. And even without any word, but only with Her tears, and the memory of My Cross, the sign of which She makes Me trace in the air, She pleads your cause and exhorts Me: 'You are the Saviour. Therefore save'. 18That is, My dear children, the 'Gospel of faith' in the vision of the scene of the Magi. Meditate on it and imitate it. For your own good. »34. 17 34. 18 219

35. The flight into Egypt. 35. 1 35. 29th June 1944. 1My spirit sees the following scene. It is night. Joseph is sleeping in his little bed in his very small room: the peaceful sleep of a man after a hard day's honest and diligent work. I can see him in the dark room, because a thin ray of moon­ light filters in through the window shutters left ajar, either be­ cause Joseph is too warm in the little room or because he wants to be woken by the early rays of light at daybreak and get up at once. He is lying on one side and is smiling at some vision he sees in his dream. But his smile turns into an expression of anxiety. He is now sighing deeply as if he had a nightmare and he awakes with a start. He sits up on his bed, rubs his eyes and looks around. He looks at the little window where the feeble light comes in. It is the dead of night but he grasps his robe, which is lying at the bottom of the bed, and still sitting on the bed he pulls it on over the white short-sleeved tunic he is wearing next to his skin. He pulls the blanket away, puts his feet on the floor and looks for his sandals. He puts them on and ties them. He stands up and goes towards the door facing his bed, not the one at the side of his bed leading into the large room where the Magi were received. He knocks very gently, a very soft knocking with the tips of his fingers. He must have heard a voice asking him to enter be­ cause he opens the door carefully and sets it ajar without making any noise. Before going to the door he has lit a small single flame oil lamp, and lights his way with it. He goes in. The room is a lit­ tle larger than his own, and there is a low bed in it, near a cra­ dle, with a night lamp in a corner, the flickering flame of which seems like a little star with a soft golden light that allows one to see without disturbing anyone sleeping. 2But Mary is not sleeping. She is kneeling near the cradle in Her light coloured dress and is praying, watching Jesus Who is sleeping peacefully. Jesus is the same age as I saw Him in the vi­ sion of the Magi: a Child about one year old, beautiful, rosy and fair haired. He is sleeping with His curly head sunk in the pillow and a clenched fist under His chin. 220

«Are You not sleeping? » Joseph asks Her in a low surprised voice. «Why not? Is Jesus not well? » «Oh, no! He is alright. I am praying. Later I will sleep. Why have you come, Joseph? » Mary speaks, kneeling on the same spot. Joseph speaks in a very low voice so as not to awaken the Child, but it is an excited voice. «We must go away from here at once. It must be at once. Prepare the coffer and a sack with everything You can put in them. I'll prepare the rest, I'll take as much as I can... We will flee at dawn. I would go even sooner but I must speak to the landlady... » «But why this flight? » «I will tell You later. It's because of Jesus. An angel said to me: 'Take the Child and His Mother and escape to Egypt. ' Don't waste any time. I'm going to prepare what I can. » 3There is no need to tell Mary not to waste time. As soon as She heard Joseph mention an angel, Jesus and flight, She understood that Her Creature was in danger and She jumped to Her feet, Her face whiter than wax, holding one hand against Her heart, com­ pletely distressed. And She began to move about, quick and ag­ ile, laying the clothes in the coffer and in a large sack which She placed on Her bed still untouched. Although She is disheartened, She does not lose Her head: She acts quickly but orderly. Now and again, when passing near the cradle, She looks at the Child Who is sleeping calmly. «Do you need help?» Joseph asks now and again, peeping into the room through the door ajar. «No, thank you, » replies Mary every time. Only when Her sack is full, and it is obviously very heavy, She calls Joseph to help Her to close it and take it off the bed. But Jo­ seph does not want any help, he prefers to do it himself, and he takes the long sack into his little room. «Shall I also take the woollen blankets? » asks Mary. «Take as much as You can. We will lose the rest. Do take as much as You can. Things will be useful because... because we will have to stay away for a long time, Mary!... » Joseph is very sad in saying so. And one can easily imagine how Mary feels. She folds Her blankets and Joseph's, sighing deeply. Joseph ties the blankets with a rope and while doing so, he says: «We shall leave the quilts and the mats. Even if I take three donkeys I cannot 22135. 3

35. 4overload them. We will have a long and uncomfortable journey, partly in the mountains and in the desert. Cover Jesus well. The nights will be cold both up in the mountains and in the desert. I have taken the gifts of the Magi because they will be very useful down there. I am going to spend all the money I have to buy two donkeys. We cannot send them back, so I will have to buy them. I'll go now, without awaiting dawn. I know where to find them. You finish preparing everything. » And he goes out. Mary gathers a few more things, then, after looking at Jesus, She goes out and comes back with some little dresses which ap­ pear to be still damp: perhaps they were washed the day before. She folds them, wraps them up in a cloth, and adds them to the other things. There is nothing else. She looks around and in a corner She sees one of Jesus' toys: a little sheep carved in wood. She picks it up sobbing, and kisses it. On the wood there are traces of Jesus' little teeth and the ears of the little sheep are all nibbled. Mary caresses the thing without any value, a plain piece of light wood, which, however, is of great value to Her, because it tells Her of Joseph's love for Jesus and speaks to Her of Her Child. She adds it to the other things placed on the closed coffer. 4Now there is really nothing else. Except Jesus in the lit­ tle cradle. Mary thinks She should prepare the Child. She goes to the cradle and shakes it a little to wake up the Baby. But He whimpers a little, turns round and continues to sleep. Mary pats His curls gently. Jesus opens His little mouth yawning. Mary bends down and kisses His cheek. Jesus wakes up completely. He opens His eyes, sees His Mother and smiles and stretches His lit­ tle hands towards Her breast. «Yes, love of Your Mummy. Yes, Your milk. Before the usual time... But You are always ready to suck Your Mummy's breast, My little holy Lamb! » Jesus laughs and plays, kicking His little feet out of the blan­ kets, moving His arms happily in a typical childish style, so beautiful to see. He pushes His feet against His Mummy's stom­ ach, He arches His back leaning His fair head on Her breast, and then throws Himself back and laughs, holding with His hands the laces that tie Mary's dress to Her neck, endeavour­ ing to open it. He looks most beautiful in His little linen shirt, 222

plump and as rosy as a flower. Mary bends down and in that position, looking over the cra­ dle, as if in protection, She smiles and cries at the same time, while the Child prattles, uttering words which are not the words of all little children; among them the word «Mummy» is repeat­ ed very clearly. He looks at Her, surprised to see Her crying. He stretches one little hand towards the shiny traces of tears and it gets wet while patting Her face. And, very gracefully, He leans once again on His Mother's breast, He clings to it and pats it with His hand. Mary kisses His hair, picks Him up in Her arms, sits down and dresses Him. His little woollen dress has now been put on Him and His sandals have been tied on His feet. She nurses Him and Jesus avidly sucks His Mother's good milk, and when He feels that only a little is coming from Her right breast, He looks for the left one, laughing while doing so and looking up at His Mother. Then He falls asleep again on Her breast, His rosy round little cheek resting against Her white round breast. Mary rises very slowly and lays Him on the quilt on Her bed. She covers Him with Her mantle, She goes back to the cradle and folds its little blankets. She wonders whether She ought to take the little mattress as well. It's so small. It can be taken. She puts it, together with the pillow, near the other things already on the coffer. And She cries over the empty cradle, poor Mother, perse­ cuted in Her Little Creature. 5Joseph comes back. «Are you ready? Is Jesus ready? Have You 35. 5 taken His blankets and His little bed? We can't take His cradle, but He must have at least His little mattress: poor Baby, Whose death they are seeking! » «Joseph! » shouts Mary, while She grasps his arm. «Yes, Mary, His death. Herod wants Him dead... because he is afraid of Him, that filthy beast, because of his human kingdom he is afraid of this innocent Child. I do not know what he will do when he realises that He has escaped. But we shall be far away by that time. I don't think he will revenge himself by seeking Him as far as Galilee. It would be very difficult for him to find out that we are Galileans, least of all that we are from Nazareth and who we are exactly. Unless Satan helps him to thank him for being his faithful servant. But... if that should happen... God 223

35. 6will help us just the same. Don't cry, Mary. To see You crying is a greater pain for me than having to go into exile. » «Forgive Me, Joseph. I am not crying for Myself, or for the few things I am losing. I am crying for you... You have already had to sacrifice yourself so much! And now once again you will have no customers, no home. How much I am costing you, Joseph! ». «How much? No, Mary. You do not cost me. You comfort me. Always. Don't worry about the future. We have the gifts of the Magi. They will help us for the first days. Later I will find some work. A good clever workman will always make his way. You have seen what happened here. I haven't got enough time for all the work I have. » «I know. But who will relieve your homesickness for your na­ tive land? » «And what about You? Who will relieve Your longing for Your home which is so dear to You? » «Jesus. Having Him, I have what I had there. » «And I, having Jesus, have my native land, in which I had hope up to some months ago. I have my God. You can see that I lose nothing of what is dear to me above all things. The only im­ portant thing is to save Jesus, and then we have everything. Even if we should never see this sky again, or this country or the even dearer country of Galilee, we shall always have everything, be­ cause we shall have Him. 6Come, Mary, it is starting to dawn. It is time to say goodbye to our hostess and load our things. Every­ thing will be alright. » Mary gets up obediently. She puts on Her mantle while Joseph makes up a last parcel and goes out with it. Mary lifts the Child gently, wraps Him in a shawl and clasps Him to Her heart. She looks at the walls that have given Her hos­ pitality for some months and She touches them caressingly with one hand. Happy house, that deserved to be loved and blessed by Mary! She goes out. She goes through Joseph's little room, into the large room. The landlady, in tears, kisses Her goodbye and, lift­ ing the edge of the shawl, she kisses the forehead of the Child Who is sleeping calmly. They go down the outside steps. The first light of dawn enables them to see faintly. In the dim light, three little donkeys can be seen. The strongest is loaded 224

with the goods and chattels. The other two are saddled. Joseph is busy fastening the coffer and bundles on the pack-saddle of the first one. I can see his carpenter's tools tied in a bundle on top of the sack. After more tears and goodbyes, Mary mounts the little don­ key, while the landlady is holding Jesus in her arms, and kissing Him once again. She then hands Him back to Mary. Joseph, too, mounts after tying his donkey to the one loaded with the goods, in order to be free to hold the reins of Mary's donkey. The flight begins while Bethlehem, still dreaming of the phantasmagoric scene of the Magi, is sleeping peacefully, una­ ware of what is impending over it. And the vision ends thus. 7Jesus says: «And also this series of visions ends in this way. With the per­ mission of “the exacting doctors” we have been showing you the scenes which preceded, accompanied and followed My coming. And we did so, not for their own sake, as they are well known, although they have been distorted by elements superimposed throughout the centuries, always as a consequence of the men­ tality of men, who in order to give greater praise to God — and are therefore forgiven — make unreal what would be so lovely to leave real. Such way of seeing things in their reality does not diminish My Humanity or Mary's, neither does it offend My Di­ vinity or the Majesty of the Father or the Love of the Most Holy Trinity. On the contrary, the merits of My Mother and My perfect humility shine brightly and so does the omnipotent kindness of the Eternal Lord. But we have shown you these scenes in order to be able to apply the supernatural meaning deriving from them to you and to other people and give it to you as a rule of life. The Decalogue is the Law; and My Gospel is the Doctrine that makes the Law clearer for you and more loving to follow. The Law and My Doctrine would be sufficient to make saints of men. But you are so hampered by your humanity — it really over­ whelms your souls too much — that you cannot follow My ways and you fall; or you stop disheartened. You go on saying to your­ selves and to those who would like to assist you, quoting the ex­ amples of the Gospel for you: 'But Jesus, but Mary, but Joseph 22535. 7

35. 8 35. 9(and so on for all the saints) were not like us. They were strong, they were immediately comforted in their sorrow, also in the little sorrow which they experienced, they did not feel passion. They were already beings out of this world'. 8That little sorrow! They did not feel passion! Sorrow has been our faithful friend and it had all the most varied forms and names. Passion... do not use a word wrongly, by calling passion the vices which mislead you. Be honest and call them 'vices', and cap­ ital ones in addition. It is not true that we did not know them. We had eyes to see and ears to hear, and Satan caused those vices to dance in front of us and around us, showing them to us with their heap of filth in action, or tempting us with his insinuations. But, since we firmly wanted to please God, his filth and insinuations, instead of achieving the purpose intended by Satan, obtained the very opposite. And the more he worked, the more we took shelter in the light of God, disgusted as we were with the muddy dark­ ness he showed to the eyes of our bodies and of our souls. But we did not ignore passions in our hearts, in their philo­ sophical setting. We loved our country, and in our country we loved our little Nazareth above every other town in Palestine. We were fond of our house, of our relatives and friends. Why should we not? We did not become slaves to our feelings because nothing is to be our master except God. But our feelings were made good companions. My Mother uttered a cry of joy when, after about four years, She went back to Nazareth and entered Her house, and kissed the walls where Her 'yes' had opened Her bosom to receive the Son of God. Joseph joyfully greeted his relatives and his little nephews, who had grown in numbers and in years, and he rejoiced when he saw that his fellow citizens remembered him and they sought him because of his ability. I Myself appreciated friendship and because of Judas' betrayal, I suffered as for a moral crucifixion. And why not? Neither My Mother nor Joseph ever placed more love for their home or their relatives before the will of God. 9And I never spared a word, if it was to be said, capable of drawing upon Me the hatred of the Jews and the animosity of Ju­ das. I knew, and I could have brought it about, that some money would be sufficient to subject him to Me. But not to Me, a Re-226

deemer: to Me, a rich man. I had multiplied the loaves of bread and if I wanted, I could multiply money as well. But I did not come for human satisfactions. Least of all to the ones I had called. I had preached sacrifice, detachment, a pure life, humble posi­ tions. What kind of a Master would I have been and what Just man, if I had given money to one of them for his mental and phys­ ical satisfaction, only because that was the means to keep him? Those who make themselves 'small' are great in My Kingdom. Those who wish to be 'great' in the eyes of the world are not suit­ able to reign in My Kingdom. They are straw for the beds of the demons. Because the greatness of the world is the antithesis of the Law of God. The world calls 'great' those who, by means which almost are always illicit, know how to get the best positions and to do so, they use their neighbour as a stool on which they then climb, crushing him. The world calls 'great' those who know how to kill in order to reign, and they kill materially or morally, and they usurp positions and countries and fatten themselves, bleeding both individuals and communities. The world often calls 'great' criminals. No. 'Greatness' is not to be found in criminality. It is in goodness, in honesty, in love, in justice. You can see which poi­ sonous fruit your 'great ones' offer you, fruit which they have picked in the wicked devilish garden inside them! 10I only wish to speak about the last vision, and omit the rest, because in any case, it is useless, as the world does not want to hear the truth concerning it. The last vision clarifies a detail quoted twice in the Gospel by Matthew, a sentence which is re­ peated twice: 'Get up, take the Child and His Mother with you, and escape into Egypt'; 'Get up, take the Child and His Moth­ er with you and go back to the land of Israel'. And you saw that Mary was by Herself in Her room with the Child. Mary's virginity after Her delivery and Joseph's chastity have been strongly denied by those who being putrid mud themselves, are not prepared to admit that one like them can be as pure and clear as light. They are wretched people whose souls are so cor­ rupted and their minds so prostituted to the flesh, that they are incapable of thinking that one like them can respect a woman seeing in her not her flesh but her soul, neither can they elevate themselves to live in a supernatural atmosphere, craving not for35. 10 227

35. 11what is flesh, but only for what is God. Well, I wish to tell those deniers of the most beautiful things, those worms incapable of becoming butterflies, those reptiles covered with the slavery of their own lewdness, incapable of un­ derstanding the beauty of a lily, I wish to tell them that Mary was and remained a virgin, and that only Her soul was married to Joseph, exactly as Her spirit was united only to the Spirit of God by Whose deed She conceived Her Only Son: I, Jesus Christ, the Only Begotten Son of the Father and of Mary. This is not a tradition embellished afterwards, out of loving respect for the Blessed Virgin Who was My Mother. It is the truth and has been known since early times. Matthew was not born after centuries. He was a contempo­ rary of Mary. Matthew was not a poor ignorant man brought up in a forest and likely to believe any idle story. He was a clerk in the taxation office, as you would say nowadays, he was an excise man, as we said then. He could see, hear, understand, and distin­ guish truth from lies. Matthew did not hear things reported by third parties. He heard them directly from Mary's lips to Whom he turned for information, prompted by his love for his Master and for the truth. I do not believe that those repudiators of Mary's inviolability will dare think that She may have lied. My own relatives could have given Her the lie, had there been other children: James, Ju­ das, Simon and Joseph were disciples together with Matthew. Therefore Matthew could have easily compared their versions, had there been more than one. But Matthew does not say: 'Get up and take your wife'. He says:'Take His Mother'. Before he says:'A virgin betrothed to Joseph'; 'Joseph Her spouse'. 11Neither those repudiators of Purity should tell Me that it was a way of speaking particular to the Jews, as if to say 'wife' was a disgrace. No, deniers of Purity. At the very beginning of the Bible we read: 'And he will join himself to his wife '. She is called 'com­ panion' up to the moment of the sensual consummation of the marriage, and afterwards she is called 'wife' in various circum­ stances and in different chapters. And these are the expressions referred to the wives of the sons of Adam. And so Sarah is called the 'wife' of Abraham: 'Sarah your wife'. And: 'Take your wife and your two daughters' is said of Lot. And in the book of Ruth 228

states: 'The Moabitess, the wife of Mahalon'. And the first book of the Kings says: 'Elkanah had two wives'. And further on: 'Elkan­ ah then had intercourse with his wife Hannah'; and again: 'Eli blessed Elkanah and his wife'. And again the Book of the Kings says: 'Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah the Hittite, became the wife of David and bore him a son'. And what do you read in the blue book of Tobias, what the Church sings to you at your wedding, to ad­ vise you to be holy in your marriage? You read: 'Now when Tobias arrived with his wife and his son... '; and again: 'Tobias succeeded in escaping with his son and with his wife'. And in the Gospels, that is in times contemporary with Christ, when therefore they wrote in a modern style of language, as com­ pared to the ancient kind, and therefore no error of transcription could be suspected, Matthew wrote in Chapter 22: '... and the first, after marrying his wife died and left his wife to his broth­ er'. And Mark in Chapter 10: 'The man who divorces his wife... '. And Luke called Elizabeth the wife of Zacharias for four times running, and in the eighth Chapter of his Gospel he says: 'Johan­ na, the wife of Chuza'. As you can see, this name was not a word banished by those who walked in the ways of the Lord, it was not an impure word not worthy of being uttered and least of all written when there was a mention of God and of His wonderful work. And the angel, saying: 'The Child and His Mother', proves to you that Mary was His real Mother. But She was not a wife of Joseph. She remained forever: 'The virgin betrothed to Joseph'. And this is the last teaching of the vision. And it is a ha­ lo which shines on the heads of Mary and Joseph. The Inviolate Virgin. The just and chaste man. The two lilies amongst whom I grew up, receiving only the perfume of purity. 12I could speak to you, little John*, about Mary's grief at be­ ing torn away from Her house and Her fatherland. But there is no need for words. You understand and you die of grief. Give Me your sorrow. That is all I want. It is greater than anything else you could give Me. It is Friday today, Mary. Think of My grief and of My Mother's on Golgotha in order to be able to bear your cross. Our peace and love remain with you. »----------------- * little John, the most recurring name given to M. V. Its explanation is in 70. 8/9; 638. 2. 35. 12 229

36. 1 36. 236. The Holy Family in Egypt. A lesson for families. 25th January 1944 (at midnight). 1The sweet vision of the Holy Family. The place is in Egypt. I have no doubt because I see the desert and a pyramid. I see a small house with a single floor, a ground floor, com­ pletely white. A poor house of very poor people. The walls are just plastered and whitewashed. There are two doors, one near the other, leading into the only two rooms of the house which, for the time being, I do not enter. The little house is in the mid­ dle of a small piece of sandy ground, enclosed by a fence of canes fixed into the ground, a very weak protection against thieves; it can only be used as a protection against cats or stray dogs. On the other hand, who would think of stealing where it is quite visible that there is not even the shadow of riches? The little piece of ground, enclosed by the cane hedge, has been patiently cultivated as a little garden, notwithstanding that the earth is arid and poor. In order to make the hedge a little thicker and less scanty, they have grown some creepers which appear to be modest convolvuli, only on one side there is a shrub of jasmine in full bloom and a bush of common roses. In the kitchen garden I see some very modest vegetables in the centre under a tall plant which I do not recognise and which gives some shade to the arid ground and to the little house. A little black and white goat is tied to the plant and it is browsing on the leaves of some branches thrown on the ground. 2And nearby on a mat on the ground there is the Child Jesus. I think He must be two years old, or two and a half at the very most. He is playing with some little pieces of carved wood, which look like little sheep or little horses, and with some clear wood shavings, less curly than His golden curls. With His little plump hands He is trying to put those wooden necklaces onto the necks of His little animals. He is quiet and smiling. Very beautiful. His little head is a mass of very thick little golden curls, His skin is clear and slight­ ly rosy, His eyes are live and bright, of a deep blue colour. The ex­ pression of course, is different, but I recognise the colour of the eyes of my Jesus: two beautiful dark sapphires. 230

He is wearing a kind of long white shirt which must certain­ ly be His tunic, with short sleeves. At present He has nothing on His feet. His tiny sandals are on the mat and they, too, are being used as a toy by the Child, Who is placing His little animals on the mat, and then pulls the sandal by the strap as if it were a lit­ tle cart. The sandals are very simple: a sole and two straps one of which coming from the tip and the other from the heel of the sole. The one coming from the tip then splits at a certain point and one piece passes through the eyelet of the strap from the heel, then goes round and is tied with the other piece, forming thus a ring at the ankle. 3A little farther away, sitting also in the shade of the tree, 36. 3 there is Our Lady. She is weaving at a rustic loom and watching the Child. I can see Her white slender hands moving backwards and forwards throwing the shuttle on the weft while Her foot, shod in a sandal, is moving the pedal. She is wearing a tunic the colour of mallow flowers: a rosy violet like certain amethysts. She is not wearing anything on her head, and so I can see that Her hair is parted, forming two simple plaits which gather at the nape of Her neck. Her sleeves are long and rather narrow. She has no other ornament except Her beauty and Her most sweet expression. The colour of Her face, of Her hair and Her eyes, the form of Her face are always the same every time I see Her. She looks very young now. She looks about twenty years old. At one point She gets up, and bends over the Child, puts His sandals back on again and ties them carefully. She then pats Him and kisses His little head and His beautiful eyes. The Child prat­ tles and She answers. But I do not understand the words. She then goes back to Her loom; She covers the fabric and the weft with a piece of cloth, picks up the stool on which She was sitting and takes it into the house. The Child follows Her with His eyes without troubling Her when She leaves Him alone. Obviously Her work is finished, and it is almost evening. In fact, the sun is setting on the barren sand, and a huge fire in­ vades the whole sky behind the far away pyramid. Mary comes back. She takes Jesus by the hand and lifts Him from His mat. The Child obeys without any resistance. While His Mother picks up His toys and the mat and takes them into the house, He toddles on His well shaped little legs towards the little 231

36. 4goat and throws His little arms around her neck. The little goat bleats and rubs her head on Jesus' shoulder. Mary comes back. She is now wearing a long veil on Her head and is carrying an amphora in Her hand. She takes Jesus by the hand and they both start walking, turning round the little house towards the other side. I follow them admiring the gracefulness of the picture. Our Lady adjusts Her step to the Child's, and the Child toddles and trips along beside Her. I can see His rosy heels moving up and down, with the typical grace of children's steps, on the sand of the little path. I notice that His little tunic does not reach down to His feet, but only to half His calf. It is very clean and simple and it is held tight to His waist by a little white cord. I see that on the front of the house the hedge is broken by a rustic gate, which Mary opens to go out onto the road. It is a poor road at the end of a town or a village, whatever it may be, where it ends up with the country that here is formed of sand and some other houses, as poor as this one, with some scanty kitchen gar­ dens. I do not see anybody. Mary looks towards the centre of the town not towards the country, as if She were waiting for some­ one; She then moves towards a vessel or well, whatever it may be, which is some ten metres further up, and on which some palm trees form a shady circle. Over there some green can be seen on the ground. 4I can now see a man coming along the road; he is not very tall, but is well built. I recognise Joseph, who is smiling. He looks younger than when I saw him in the vision* of Paradise. He may be forty years old at the most. His hair and beard are thick and black, his skin is rather tanned, his eyes are dark. An honest pleasant face, inspiring confidence. When he sees Jesus and Mary, he quickens his step. On his left shoulder he has a kind of saw and a kind of plane, and he is hold­ ing in his hand other tools of his trade, not exactly like the ones we use now, but almost similar. He is probably coming back after working in somebody's house. He is wearing a tunic the colour of which is between hazel and dark brown; it is not very long — it * vision: 10th January 1944 in “The Notebooks. 1944”. 232

reaches a good bit up from his ankles — and its sleeves are short. I think he is wearing a leather belt at his waist. It is the proper tunic of a workman. On his feet he has sandals tied at his ankles. Mary smiles and the Child utters cries of joy and He stretches out the hand which is free. When the three meet, Joseph bends down and offers the Child a fruit which I think is an apple, by its colour and shape. He then stretches his arms and the Child leaves His Mother and cuddles in the arms of Joseph, bending His little head into the cavity of Joseph's neck; he kisses Him, and is kissed by Him. A scene full of loving grace. I almost forgot to say that Mary had promptly taken Joseph's work tools, to leave him free to embrace the Child. Then Joseph, who had crouched down to the ground to be at the same level as Jesus, stands up, takes his tools with his left hand and holds little Jesus tight to his strong chest with his right arm. And he moves towards the house, while Mary goes to the fountain to fill Her amphora. After entering the enclosure of the house, Joseph puts the Child down, takes Mary's loom into the house, and then he milks the goat. Jesus watches all these activities carefully and in par­ ticular the closing of the little goat in a little closet in one side of the house. It is now getting dark. I can see the red of the sunset becom­ ing violet on the sands which seem to be trembling because of the heat. The pyramid looks darker. Joseph goes into the house, into a room which must be his workshop, the kitchen, the dining room all in one. The other room is obviously the bedroom. But I do not go in there. The fire is lit in a low fireplace. There is a carpenter's bench, a small table, some stools, some shelves with two oil lamps and some kitchenware on them. In a corner, there is Mary's loom. And a great deal of order and cleanliness. A very poor dwelling, but very clean. And this is a remark I wish to make: in all the visions con­ cerning the human life of Jesus I have noticed that both He and Mary, as well as Joseph and John, are always tidy and clean both in their garments and their bodies. They wear modest and simple garments, but they are so clean that they look like gentlemen in them. 5Mary comes back with the amphora and the door is closed 36. 5 233

36. 6 36. 7on the rapidly growing dusk. The room is illuminated by a lamp that Joseph has lit and placed on his bench, where he now starts working on some little boards, while Mary is preparing supper. The fire, too, illuminates the room. Jesus, with His little hands leaning on the bench and His little head turned upwards, is watching what Joseph is doing. They then sit down at the table after saying their prayers. Ob­ viously they do not bless themselves with the sign of the cross, but they pray. It is Joseph who says the prayers, and Mary an­ swers. I do not understand anything at all. It must be a psalm. But it is said in a language entirely unknown to me. They then sit down at the table. The lamp is now on the table. Mary is holding Jesus in Her lap and makes Him drink some of the goat's milk, into which She dips some small slices of bread that She has cut off a little round loaf. The crust of the loaf, as well as the inside, is very dark, it looks like rye bread or bread made with barley. It certainly contains a lot of bran, judging by its colour. In the meantime Joseph eats some bread and cheese, a small slice of cheese and a lot of bread. Then Mary sits Jesus on a little stool near Her and brings some cooked vegetables to the ta­ ble — they appear to be boiled and dressed as we use them nowa­ days — and She also eats some of them after Joseph has helped himself. Jesus is nibbling happily at His apple, and He smiles displaying His little white teeth. Their supper ends with some olives or dates. I cannot tell exactly which because they appear to be too light to be olives and too hard to be dates. There is no wine. The supper of poor people. But there is so much peace in this room that not even the sight of the most solemn royal palace could give me as much. And how much harmony! 6Jesus does not speak this evening. He does not explain the scene. He has taught me with the gift of His vision and that is enough. May He be always and equally blessed. 26th January 1944. 7Jesus says: «The things you see teach you and others the lesson. It is a les­ son of humility, resignation and good harmony. A lesson given as an example to all Christian families, and particularly to the 234

Christian families in this particularly sorrowful age. 8You have seen a poor house. And what is more saddening, a 36. 8 poor house in a foreign country. Many people, only because they are fairly good Catholics who pray and receive Me in the Holy Eucharist, and they pray and re­ ceive Me for 'their' needs, not for the needs of their souls and for the Glory of God — because only seldom those who pray are not selfish — many people would expect to have a prosperous, happy, easy material life, well-protected even from the least pain. Joseph and Mary had Me, True God, as their Son, yet they did not even have the meagre satisfaction of being poor in their own country, where they were known, where at least there was their 'own' little house and the problem of a dwelling did not add a harassing thought to their many problems, in the country where, as they were known, it was easier for them to find work and pro­ vide for the needs of their lives. They are two refugees just be­ cause they had Me. A different climate, a different country, so sad in comparison with the sweet countryside of Galilee, a dif­ ferent language, different habits, living amongst people who did not know them, and who generally distrusted refugees and peo­ ple they did not know. They are deprived of those comfortable and dear pieces of fur­ niture of 'their' little house, of so many humble and necessary things they had there, and which did not seem to be so necessary, whereas here, in the void that surrounds them, seem even beauti­ ful like the luxurious things that make the houses of rich people so charming. And they felt nostalgia both for their country and for their home, they worried about the poor things they had left behind, about the little kitchen garden where probably no one would take care of their vines and their figs, and the other use­ ful plants. And they had to provide everyday as well as for food clothes, fire, and for Me, a Child, Whom they could not feed with the same food they took themselves. And they were sad at heart: because of their homesickness, because of the uncertainty of the future, and the lack of trust of people who are reluctant, particu­ larly at first, to accept the offer of work of two unknown people. And yet, as you have seen yourself, that house is pervaded with serenity, smiles, harmony, and by mutual consent they endeavour to make it more beautiful, even in its scanty little kitchen gar-235

36. 9den, that it may be more like the more comfortable one they had to leave behind. They have only one thought: that the land may be less hostile and less unpleasant for Me, since I come from God. It is the love of believers and relatives which reveals itself in many ways: from the little goat they purchased with many hours of ex­ tra work, to the little toys carved in scraps of wood, to the fruit purchased only for Me, while they denied themselves a morsel of food. O beloved father of mine on the earth, how loved you have been by God, by God the Father in the Most High Heavens, by God the Son, Who became the Saviour on the earth! In that house there is no quick temper, no sulkiness, no grim faces, neither is there any reproach against each other, and least of all against the God Who has not loaded them with material wealth. Joseph does not reproach Mary as being the cause of his discomfort, neither does Mary reproach Joseph because he is in­ capable of procuring greater worldly goods. They love each other in a holy way, that is all. And therefore they do not worry about their own comfort, but only about the comfort of their consort. True love is not selfish. And true love is always chaste, even if it is not perfect in chastity as the love of the two virgin spouses. Chastity united with charity yields a suite of other virtues and therefore two people who love each other chastely become per­ fect. The love of Mary and Joseph was perfect. Therefore it was an incentive to every other virtue and in particular to charity to­ wards God, blessed every hour, notwithstanding His holy will is painful for the flesh and the heart, blessed because, above the flesh and above the heart, the spirit was more lively and stronger in the two saints, and they exalted the Lord with gratitude be­ cause they had been chosen as guardians of His Eternal Son. 9In that house they prayed. You pray too little in your homes, nowadays. The sun rises and sets, you start your work, and you sit at the table without a thought for the Lord, Who has allowed you to see a new day, and then to live and see a new night, Who has blessed your work and has made it the means for you to pur­ chase the food, the fire, the clothes, the house which are so nec­ essary for your human lives. Whatever comes from Good God is 'good'. Even if it is poor and meagre, love gives it flavour and 236

body, the love that allows you to see, in the Eternal Creator, the Father Who loves you. In that house there is frugality and it would be there even if there was plenty of money. They eat to live. They do not eat to satisfy their gluttony, with the insatiability of gluttons and the whims of epicures who fill themselves to the extent of being sick and squander fortunes on expensive food, without giving one thought to those who are without or with little food, without con­ sidering that if they were moderate, many people could be re­ lieved of the pangs of hunger. In that house they love work, and they would love it even if there was plenty of money, because the working man obeys the command of God and frees himself from vice, which like tena­ cious ivy clenches and suffocates idle people, who are like im­ movable rocks. Food is good, rest is serene, hearts are happy, when you have worked well and you enjoy the resting time be­ tween one job and the next one. Neither in the houses nor in the minds of those who love work, can various vices arise. And, in its absence, love, esteem, mutual respect prosper and tender chil­ dren grow in a pure atmosphere and they thus become the origin of future holy families. Humility reigns in that house. What a lesson of humility for the proud. Mary, from a human point of view, had a thousand reasons to be proud and to be adored by Her spouse. Many wom­ en are proud only because they are a little better educated, or of nobler birth, or of a wealthier family than their husbands. Mary is the Spouse and the Mother of God, and yet She serves — and does not expect to be served — Her consort, and She is full of love for him. Joseph is the head of the family, judged by God so worthy of being the head of a family, as to be entrusted by God with the guardianship of the Word Incarnate and the Spouse of the Eternal Spirit. And yet he is anxious to relieve Mary of Her work, and he takes care of the most humble jobs in the house so that Mary may not get tired, not only, but whenever he can he does his best to please Her and make Her house more comfort­ able and Her little garden more beautiful. In that house order is respected: supernatural, moral, mate­ rial. God is the Supreme Head and He is worshipped and loved: supernatural order. Joseph is the head of the family and he is 237

36. 10 37. 1loved, respected and obeyed: moral order. The house is a gift of God as well as the clothes and the furnishings. The Providence of God is shown in everything, of God Who supplied wool to sheep, feathers to birds, grass to meadows, hay to animals, grains and branches to birds, Who weaves the dress of the lily of the valley. The house, the dresses, the furnishings are accepted with grati­ tude, blessing the divine hand that supplies them, looking after them with respect as gifts of the Lord, without any bad humour because they are poor, without ill use, without abusing Divine Providence: material order. 10You did not understand the words they exchanged in the dialect of Nazareth, neither did you understand the words of the prayer. But the things you saw are a great lesson. Meditate on it, you all who now suffer so much because you failed in so many things towards God, also in those things in which the holy Spouses never failed, the Spouses who were my Mother and fa­ ther. And you, rejoice remembering little Jesus, smile thinking of His little steps of a child. In a short time you will see Him walk­ ing under the Cross. And then it will be a vision of tears. » 37. The first working lesson given to the Child Jesus. 21st March 1944. 1I see my little Jesus appear as sweet as a ray of sun on a rainy day; He is a little child about five years old, completely blond and very beautiful in His simple blue dress which reaches down to half His well-shaped calves. He is playing with some earth in the little kitchen garden. He makes little heaps with it and on top He plants little branches as if He were making a miniature forest, with little stones He builds little roads and then He would like to build a little lake at the foot of His tiny hills. He therefore takes the bottom part of an old pot and fills it up to its brim and then adds water with a pitcher that He dips into a vessel, which is certainly used either for washing purposes or to water the little garden. But the only result is that He wets His dress, particularly its sleeves. The water runs out of 238

the chipped pot which is probably also cracked and... the lake dries up. Joseph appears at the door and for some time he stands very quietly watching the work of the Child and smiles. It is a sight, indeed, that makes one smile happily. Then, to prevent Jesus from getting wetter, he calls Him. Jesus turns round smiling, and when He sees Joseph, He runs towards him with His little arms stretched out. Joseph with the edge of his short working tunic dries the little hands which are soiled and wet, and kisses them. And then there is a sweet conversation between the two. Jesus explains His work and His game and the difficulties He had. He wanted to make a lake like the lake of Gennesaret. (I therefore suppose that they have either spoken to Him about it or they had taken Him to see it. ) He wanted to make a little one for His own pleasure. This was Tiberias, there was Magdala, over there Capernaum. This was the road that led to Nazareth go­ ing through Cana. He wanted to launch some little boats in the lake, these leaves are boats, and He wanted to go over to the other shore. But the water runs away... Joseph watches and takes an interest as if it were a very seri­ ous matter. He then suggests to make a small lake, the following day, but not with an old cracked pot, but with a small wooden basin well coated with pitch and stucco, in which Jesus would be able to launch small real wooden boats which Joseph would teach Him how to make. 2Just then, he was bringing Him some 37. 2 small working tools suitable for Him, that He might learn to use them, without any fatigue. «So I will be able to help you! » Jesus says, smiling. «So You will help me, and You will become a clever carpenter. Come and see them. » And they go into the workshop. Joseph shows Him a small hammer, a tiny saw, some very small screwdrivers, a plane suit­ able for a doll, which are all lying on the bench of a budding car­ penter: a bench suitable for little Jesus' size. «See, to saw, You must put this piece of wood like that. You then take the saw like that, and making sure that You do not catch Your fingers, You start sawing. Try... » And the lesson begins. And Jesus, blushing with the effort and pressing His lips together, saws the piece of wood carefully and 239

37. 3 37. 4 37. 5then planes it, and although it is not perfectly straight, He thinks it is nice. Joseph praises Him and with patience and love teaches Him how to work. 3Mary comes back. She had certainly gone out, and She looks in at the door. Joseph and Jesus do not see Her because She is be­ hind them. Mother smiles seeing how zealously Jesus is working with the plane and how loving Joseph is in teaching Him. But Jesus must have perceived Her smile. He turns round, sees His Mother and runs towards Her, showing Her the little piece of wood not yet finished. Mary admires it, and She bends down to kiss Jesus. She tidies up His ruffled curls, wipes the perspiration on His hot face, and listens with loving attention to Jesus, Who promises to make Her a little stool so that She will be more com­ fortable when working. Joseph standing near the tiny bench, with one hand resting on his side, looks and smiles. I was therefore present at the first work lesson of my Jesus. And all the peace of this holy Family is within me. 4Jesus says: «I have consoled you, My dear soul, with a vision of My child­ hood, which was happy in its poverty, because it was surrounded by the love of two saints, the greatest the world ever had. 5They say that Joseph was My foster-father. Oh! If, being a man, he could not feed Me with milk, as My Mother Mary did, he worked very hard indeed, to give Me bread and comfort and he had the loving kindness of a real mother. From him I learned — and never had a pupil a kinder teacher — I learned everything that makes a man of a child, and a man who is to earn his own bread. If My intelligence, that of the Son of God was perfect, you must consider and believe that I did not want to deviate from the attributes and attainments of My own age group ostentatiously. Therefore, by lowering My divine intellectual perfection to that of a human intellectual perfection, I submitted Myself to hav­ ing a man as My teacher, and to the need of a teacher. If I learned quickly and willingly, that does not deprive Me of the merit of submitting Myself to man, neither does it deprive the just man of the merit of being the person who nourished My young mind 240

with the ideas which are necessary to life. Not even now that I am in Heaven can I forget the happy hours I spent beside Joseph, who, as if he were playing with Me, guided Me to the point of being capable of working. And when I look at My putative father, I see once again the little kitchen garden and the smoky workshop, and I still appear to see Mother peep in with Her beautiful smile which turned the place into Paradise and made us so happy. 6How much families should learn from the perfection of this couple who loved each other as nobody else ever loved! Joseph was the head of the family, and as such, his authority was undisputed and indisputable: before it the Spouse and Moth­ er of God bent reverently and the Son of God submitted Himself willingly. Whatever Joseph decided to do, was well done: there were no discussions, no obstinacy, no oppositions. His word was our little law. And yet, how much humility there was in him! There never was any abuse of power, or any decision against rea­ son only because he was the head of the family. His Spouse was his sweet adviser. And if in Her deep humility She considered Herself the servant of Her consort, he drew from Her wisdom of Full of Grace light to guide him in all events. And I grew like a flower protected by vigorous trees, between those two loves that interlaced above Me, to protect Me, and love Me. No. As long as I was able to ignore the world because of My age, I did not regret being absent from Paradise. God the Fa­ ther and the Holy Spirit were not absent, because Mary was full of Them. And the angels dwelled there, because nothing drove them away from that house. And one of them, I might say, had become flesh and was Joseph, an angelical soul freed from the burden of the flesh, intent only on serving God and His cause and loving Him as the seraphim love Him. Joseph's look! It was as placid and pure as the brightness of a star unaware of worldly concupiscence. It was our peace, and our strength. 7Many think that I did not suffer as a human being when the holy glance of the guardian of our home was extinguished by death. If I was God, and as such I was aware of the happy des­ tiny of Joseph, and consequently I was not sorry for his death, because after a short time in Limbo, I was going to open Heaven37. 6 37. 7 241

37. 8 37. 9to him, as a Man I cried bitterly in the house now empty and de­ prived of his presence. I cried over My dead friend, and should I not have cried over My holy friend, on whose chest I had slept when I was a little boy, and from whom I had received so much love in so many years? 8Finally I would like to draw the attention of parents to how Joseph made a clever workman of Me, without any help of peda­ gogical learning. As soon as I was old enough to handle tools, he did not let Me lead a life of idleness, but he made Me work and he made use of My love for Mary as the means to spur Me to work. I was to make useful things for Mother. That is how he inculcated the respect which every son should have for his mother and the teaching for the future carpenter was based on that respectful and loving incentive. Where are now the families in which the little ones are taught to love work as a means of pleasing their parents? Children, now­ adays, are the tyrants of the house. They grow hard, indifferent, ill-mannered towards their parents. They consider their parents as their servants, their slaves. They do not love their parents and they are scarcely loved by them. The reason is that, while you al­ low your children to become objectionable, overbearing fellows, you become detached from them with shameful indifference. They are everybody's children, except yours, o parents of the twentieth century. They are the children of the nurse, of the gov­ erness, of the boarding schools, if you are rich people. They be­ long to their companions, they are the children of the streets, of the schools, if you are poor. But they are not yours. You, mothers, give birth to them and that is all. And you, fathers, do exactly the same. But a son is not only flesh. He has a mind, a heart, a soul. Believe Me, no one is more entitled and more obliged than a fa­ ther and a mother to form that mind, that heart, that soul. 9A family is necessary: it exists and must exist. There is no theory or progress capable of destroying this truth without caus­ ing ruin. A shattered family can but yield men and women who in the future will be more perverted, and will cause greater and greater ruin. And I tell you most solemnly that it would be bet­ ter if there were no more marriages and no more children on the earth, rather than have families less united than the tribes of monkeys, families which are not schools of virtue, of work, of 242

love, of religion, but a babel in which everyone lives on his own like disengaged gears, which end up by breaking. Broken families. You break up the most holy way of social liv­ ing and you see and suffer the consequences. You may continue thus, if you so wish. But do not complain if this world is becom­ ing a deeper and deeper hell, a dwelling place of monsters who devour families and nations. You want it. Let it be so. » 38. Mary, the teacher of Jesus, Judas and James. 29th October 1944. 1Jesus says: «Come, little John, and see. Held by My hand which will lead you, go back to the years of My childhood. And what you see will have to be included in the Gospel of My boyhood, where I want also the vision of the Family's stay in Egypt to be put. You will put them in this order: the Family in Egypt, then the first work­ ing lesson given to the Child Jesus, then this one which you are about to describe, the scene of My coming of age (promised to­ day*, 25th November), lastly the vision of Jesus among the doctors in the Temple at His twelfth Feast of Passover. What you are now going to see is not without a reason. On the contrary it enlightens details of My early years and relationship among relatives. And it is a present for you, in the feast of My Regality, as you feel the peace of the house in Nazareth being transfused into you when­ ever you see it. Write. » 2I see the room where they usually eat their meals and where Mary works at Her loom or needlework. The room is near Joseph's workshop and I can hear the sound of his working. Here instead there is silence. Mary is sewing some strips of wool which She has certainly woven Herself; they are about a metre and a half wide and twice as long and I think they will be used to make a mantle for Joseph. From the door which opens onto the kitchen garden, ruf­ fled hedges of little daisies can be seen; their colour is violet * promised today: it will be found at the beginning of next chapter. 38. 1 38. 2 243

blue and they are normally called «Maries:or «starry Sky. » I do not know their botanical name. They are in full bloom and consequently it must be autumn. But the green is still thick and beautiful on the plants and from two beehives leaning against a sunny wall, bees are flying in the bright sunshine buzzing and dancing, going from a fig-tree to the vines, and then to a pome­ granate-tree full of its round fruits, some of which have already burst from excessive growth and show the strings of juicy ru­ bies, lined up inside the green-red casket divided into yellow sections. 3Jesus is playing under the trees with two children who are about His own age. They have curly hair, but they are not blond. One, on the contrary, is very dark: a little head of a little black lamb which makes the skin of his little round face look even whiter, and two most beautiful large, wide open blue violet eyes. The other is less curly and his hair is dark brown, his eyes are brown and his complexion darker, but with a pinkish hue on his cheeks. Jesus' little blond head looks like a blaze of light. They are playing in perfect harmony with some little carts on which there are... various articles: leaves, little stones, wood shavings, little pieces of wood. They must be playing at shops, and Jesus is the one who buys things for His Mummy, to Whom He takes now one thing, then another one. Mary accepts all the purchases with a smile. Then the game changes. One of the two children proposes: «Let us play at the Exodus from Egypt. Jesus will be Moses, I will be Aaron, and you... Mary. » «But I am a boy! » «It does not matter. It's just the same. You are Mary, and you shall dance before the golden calf, and the golden calf is that beehive over there. » «I'm not going to dance. I am a man and I do not want to be a woman. I am a faithful believer and I am not going to dance be­ fore an idol. » Jesus interrupts them: «Don't let us play that part. Let us play this other one: when Joshua is elected Moses' successor. So there will be no terrible sin of idolatry and Judas will be happy to be a man and My successor. Are you happy? » «Yes I am, Jesus. But then You will have to die, because Moses 24438. 3

dies afterwards. But I do not want You to die; You have always been so fond of me. » «Everybody dies... but before dying I shall bless Israel, and since you are the only ones here, I shall bless the whole of Israel in you. » They agree. Then there is an argument: whether the people of Israel, after so much travelling, still had the same carts they had when leaving Egypt. There is a difference of opinion. They ask Mary. «Mummy, I say that the Israelites still had the carts. James says they didn't. Judas does not know who is right. Do you know? » «Yes, My Son. The nomadic people still had their carts. They repaired them when they stopped to rest. The weaker people travelled in them together with the foodstuffs, and the many things which were necessary for so many people were loaded in­ to them. With the exception of the Ark, which was carried by hand, everything else was on the carts. » The question is now solved. 4The children go down to the bottom of the orchard and from 38. 4 there, singing psalms, they come towards the house. Jesus is in front and He is singing some psalms in His gentle silvery voice. Behind Him, there come Judas and James holding a little cart which has been elevated to the rank of Tabernacle. But since they have also to play the part of the people, in addition to Aaron's and Joshua's, with their belts they have tied other miniature carts to their feet, and thus they proceed very seriously as if they were real actors. They cover the whole length of the pergola, they pass in front of the door of Mary's room and Jesus says: «Mummy, hail the Ark when it passes by. » Mary stands up smiling, and She bows to Her Son Who passes by, radiant in the bright sunshine. Then Jesus clambers up the side of the mountain that forms the boundary of the house, or rather of the garden; He stands up straight on top of the little grotto, and speaks to... Israel. He re­ peats the orders and the promises of God, He appoints Joshua as the leader, calls him, and then Judas in his turn climbs up the cliff. He encourages and blesses him. He then asks for a... tablet (it is a large fig leaf) and He writes the canticle and reads it. It is not quite complete, but contains a large part of it, and He seems 245

38. 5 38. 6to be reading it from the leaf. He then dismisses Joshua who em­ braces Him crying, and He then climbs further up, right up to the edge of the cliff. And from there He blesses the whole of Israel, that is the two who are prostrated on the ground, He then lies down on the short grass, closes His eyes and... dies. 5Mary, who has been watching from the doorstep smiling, when She sees Him lying still on the ground shouts: «Jesus, Je­ sus! Get up! Don't lie down like that! Your Mummy does not want to see You dead! » Jesus gets up smiling, runs towards Her, and kisses Her. Also James and Judas come. They also receive Mary's caresses. «How can Jesus remember that canticle which is so long and difficult and all those blessings? » asks James. Mary smiles and answers: «His memory is very good and He pays a lot of attention when I read. » «I too, at school, pay attention. But then I get sleepy with all the hubbub... shall I never learn then? » «You will learn, be good. » 5There is a knock at the door. Joseph walks quickly across the orchard and the room and opens it. «Peace to you, Alphaeus and Mary! » «And peace and blessings to you. » It is Joseph's brother with his wife. A rustic cart, drawn by a strong donkey, is outside in the street. «Did you have a good trip? » «Very good. And the children? » «They are in the garden with Mary. » But the children have already come to greet their mother. Al­ so Mary comes, holding Jesus by the hand. The two sisters-in- law kiss each other. «Have they been good? » «Very good, and very dear. Are the relatives all well? » «Yes they all are. They send You their regards, and they have sent You many presents from Cana. Grapes, apples, cheese, eggs, honey. And... Joseph? I have found just what you wanted for Je­ sus. It is on the cart, in the round basket. » Alphaeus' wife smiles. She bends over Jesus Who is looking at her with His eyes wide open, she kisses Him on those two strips of blue and says: «Do you know what I have for you? Guess. » 246

Jesus thinks, but He cannot guess. I doubt whether He does it deliberately, to give Joseph the joy of giving Him a surprise. Jo­ seph in fact comes in, carrying a large round basket. He lays it down on the floor in front of Jesus, unties the rope which is hold­ ing the lid on, he lifts it... and a little white sheep, a real flock of foam, appears sleeping in the very clean hay. Jesus utters an «Oh! » of surprise and happiness and He is about to rush towards the little animal, but then He turns round and runs to Joseph, who is still bent down as before, He embraces him, and kisses him, thanking him. The two little cousins look with admiration at the little crea­ ture, which is now awake and is lifting its little rosy head bleat­ ing, looking for its mother. They take it out of the basket, they of­ fer it a handful of clover. It browses while looking around with its mild eyes. Jesus continues saying, «For me! For me! Thank you, father! » «Do you like it so much! » «Oh! Very much! White, clean... a little lamb... Oh! » and He throws His little arms round the sheep's neck, He lays His blond head on its little head and remains thus, happy. «I brought two, also for you, » says Alphaeus to his sons. «But they are dark. You are not quite so tidy as Jesus and your sheep would always be untidy, if they were white. They will be your herd, you will keep them together and so you will no longer be loitering in the streets, you two little rascals, throwing stones at each other. » The children run to the cart and look at the other two little animals, which are more black than white. Jesus has stayed behind with His sheep. He takes it into the garden, gives it water to drink and the little pet follows Him as if it had known Him forever. Jesus beckons it. He calls it «Snow» and the little lamb replies bleating happily. The guests are sitting at the table and Mary offers them bread, olives and cheese. She also puts a jug on the table with cider or water sweetened with honey, I do not know exactly which, I see that it is a very pale colour. They speak while the children are playing with the three little animals that Jesus wanted to gather together so that He can give water and a name also to the others. «Yours, Judas, will be called 247

38. 7'Star' because it has that mark on its forehead. And the name of yours will be 'Flame' because it has the blazing colours of cer­ tain withering heathers. » «Agreed. » The elder people are talking and Alphaeus says: «I hope I have solved the matter of the boys' quarrels. I got the idea from your request, Joseph. I said to myself: 'My brother wants a little sheep for Jesus, that He may have something to play with. I will get two, also for those naughty boys, to keep them quiet a little, and avoid continuous arguments with other parents with regard to bruised heads and skinned knees. What with the school and what with the sheep, I will manage to keep them quiet'. 7But this year You also will have to send Jesus to school. It is time. » «I will never send Jesus to school, » says Mary resolutely. It is most unusual to hear Her talk in this way and above all to hear Her talk before Joseph. «Why? The Child must learn to be ready in good time to pass His exam when He comes of age... » «The Child will be ready. But He will not go to school. That is quite definite. » «You will be the only woman in Israel to do that. » «I will be the only one. But that is what I am going to do. Isn't that right, Joseph? » «Yes, that's correct. There is no need for Jesus to go to school. Mary was brought up in the Temple, and She knows the Law as well as any doctor. She will be His Teacher. That's what I want, too. » «You are spoiling the Boy. » «You cannot say that. He is the best boy in Nazareth. Have you ever heard Him cry, or be naughty, or be disobedient, or lack re­ spect? » «No. That's true. But He will do all that if You continue to spoil Him. » «You do not necessarily spoil your children just because you keep them at home. To keep them at home implies loving them with good common sense and wholeheartedly. And that is how we love our Jesus, and since Mary is better educated than a teacher, She will be Jesus' Teacher. » «And when Your Jesus is a Man, He will be like a silly little 248

woman frightened even of flies. » «He will not. Mary is a strong woman, and She will give Him a manly education. I am not a coward, and I can give Him man­ like examples. Jesus is a creature without any physical or moral faults. He will grow, therefore, upright and strong, both in His body and in His spirit. You can be sure of that, Alphaeus. He will not be a disgrace to the family. In any case, that is what I have de­ cided, and that is all. » «Perhaps Mary has decided, and you... » «And if it were so? Is it not fair that two, who love each other, should have the same thoughts and the same wishes, so that each may accept the wishes of the other as if they were his own? If Mary should wish silly things, I would say to Her: 'No'. But She is asking for something which is full of wisdom, and I agree, and I make it my own. We love each other, we do as we did the first day, and we shall go on doing so as long as we live. Is that right, Mary? » «Yes, Joseph. And let us hope it will never happen, but when one should die without the other, we will still go on loving each other. » Joseph pats Mary on the head as if She were a young daughter and She looks at him with Her serene loving eyes. 8Her sister-in-law interferes: «You are quite right. I wish I could teach! Our children at school learn evil and good. At home they only learn what is good. But I do not know whether... if Mary... » «What is it you want, My dear sister-in-law? Speak freely. You know that I love you and I am happy when I can do something that pleases you. » «I was thinking... James and Judas are only a little old­ er than Jesus. They are already going to school... for what they have learned!... Jesus instead already knows the Law so well... I would like... eh, I mean, if I asked You to take them as well, when You teach Jesus? I think they would behave better and be better educated. After all, they are cousins, and it is only fair that they should love one another like brothers. Oh! I would be so happy!» «If Joseph wants, and your husband agrees, I am quite will­ ing. It is the same to speak to one as to speak to three. And it is a joy to go through the whole Bible. Let them come. »38. 8 249

The three children, who have come in very quietly, are listen­ ing and are awaiting the final decision. «They will drive You to despair, Mary,» says Alphaeus. «No! They are always good with Me. You will be good if I teach you, will you not? » The two boys move near Mary, one on Her left side, the other on Her right, they place their arms around Her shoulders, they lean their little heads on Her shoulders, and they promise all the good in the world. «Let them try, Alphaeus, and let Me try. I am sure you will not be dissatisfied with the test. They can come every day from the sixth hour until evening. It will be enough, believe Me. I know how to teach without tiring them. You must keep their attention and let them relax at the same time. You must understand them, love them, and be loved by them, if you wish to get good results. And you will love Me, will you not? » Two big kisses are the answer. «See? » «I see. I can only say: 'Thank You'. And what will Jesus say, when He sees His Mummy busy with others? What do you say, Je­ sus? » «I say: 'Happy are those who listen to Her and build their dwelling near Hers'. As for Wisdom, happy are those who are My Mother's friends, and I am happy that those whom I love are Her friends. » «But who puts such words on the lips of the Child? » Alphaeus asks, astonished. «Nobody, brother. Nobody in this world». The vision ends here. 9Jesus says: «And Mary was My teacher and the teacher of James and Ju­ das. That is why we loved one another like brothers, not only be­ cause of our relationship, but for our science and the fact that we had grown up together, like three shoots supported by one pole only: My Mother. There was no other doctor in Israel like My sweet Mother. Seat of Wisdom, and of true Wisdom, She taught us for the world, and for Heaven. I say: 'She taught us ' because I was Her pupil just like My cousins. And the 'seal' was kept on 25038. 9

the secret of God against Satan's investigations, and it was safe­ guarded by the appearance of a normal life. Did you enjoy this sweet scene? Now be in peace. Jesus is with you. » 39. Preparations for the coming of age of Jesus and departure from Nazareth. 25th November 1944. [... ] 1I have received a promise from Him. I was saying to Him: «Jesus, I would like to see the ceremony of Your coming of age! » And He replied: «I will give it to you as soon as we can be 'our­ selves' without upsetting the mystery. And you will put it after the scene of My Mother, My teacher and the teacher of Judas and James, shown to you recently (29th October). You will put it be­ tween this one and the Dispute in the Temple. » [... ] 19th December 1944. 2I see Mary bending over a tub, or rather a terracotta contain­ er, in which She stirs something that steams in the cool clear air which fills the kitchen garden in Nazareth. It must be the depth of winter, because, with the exception of the olive-trees, all the plants and trees are bare and look like skeletons. High above, the sky is very clear and there is a beauti­ ful sunshine. But it does not mitigate the bitterly cold wind that shakes the bare boughs and the little green-grey branches of the olive-trees. Our Lady is wearing a heavy dark-brown dress, which is so dark that it is almost black, and She has tied in front of it a rough piece of cloth, like an apron, to protect it. She takes out of the vessel the stick with which She was stirring its contents and I can see some beautiful ruby-red drops dripping from it. Mary looks at them, She wets Her finger with them, checks the colour against Her apron and seems satisfied. She goes into the house and then comes out with a lot of skeins of snow-white wool. She dips them patiently and carefully into39. 1 39. 2 251

39. 3 39. 4the tub, one by one. 3While She is busy doing that, Her sister-in-law, Mary of Al­ phaeus, comes in through Joseph's workshop. They greet each other, and start conversing. «Is it coming all right? » asks Mary of Alphaeus. «I hope so. » «That Gentile lady assured me that it is exactly the colour, and that is exactly how they do it in Rome. She gave it to me only because of. You, because of the embroidery work You did for her. She said that not even in Rome is there anyone who can embroi­ der so well. You must have become blind doing it... » Mary smiles and shakes Her head as if to say: «It was a mere trifle! » Her sister-in-law looks at the last skeins of wool, before hand­ ing them over to Mary. «How beautifully You have spun them! They are so thin and smooth that they look like hair. You do eve­ rything so well. And You are so quick! Will these last ones be of a lighter colour? » «Yes, they are for the tunic. The mantle is darker. » The two women work together at the tub. They then pull out the skeins of a beautiful purple colour and they run quickly to dip them into the ice-cold water that fills the little vessel un­ der the thin spring of water that tumbles babbling softly. They rinse them over and over again, then they lay the skeins on canes which they fasten to the branches of the trees. «They will dry very well and rapidly in this wind, » says Her sister-in-law. «Let us go to Joseph. There is a fire in there. You must be fro­ zen, » says Our Blessed Lady. «It was very kind of you to help Me. I did it very quickly and without working so much. I am very grateful to you. » «Oh! Mary! What would I not do for You! To be near You is a great joy. And then... all this work is for Jesus. And He is such a dear, Your Son!... I will feel that He is also my Son, if I help You with His feast when He comes of age. » The two women go into the workshop, which is full of the smell of planed wood, as is usual in carpenters' workshops. 4And the vision comes to a halt... to start again with Jesus, Who is now twelve years old, setting out for Jerusalem. 252

He looks most handsome, and has grown so well that He looks like a younger brother of His very young Mother. He already reaches up to Her shoulders with His blond curly head, His hair is no longer short as in the first years of His life, but long down to His ears, and looks like a small golden helmet fully wrought in bright curls. He is dressed in red: a beautiful light ruby-red. A long tunic hangs down to His ankles so that only His sandal clad feet can be seen. His tunic is loose, with long wide sleeves. Round His neck, at the end of His sleeves, at the hems, there is a Greek fret woven colour on colour, and it is very beautiful... (When copying the vision, wait for the remainder which will be in a new copy-book). 20th December 1944. I see Jesus with His Mother going into the dining room (let us call it so), in Nazareth. Jesus is a handsome young boy, twelve years old, tall, well built, strong but not fat. He looks older than His years, because of His complexion. He is already tall, in fact He reaches up to the shoulders of His Mother. His face is the rosy round face of a child and later, in His youth and then in His manhood, it will get thin­ ner and thinner and it will become colourless, the colour of some very delicate alabasters with a hue of yellowish pink. Also His eyes are still the eyes of a child. They are large, wide open when looking, with a sparkle of joy lost in the seriousness of His glance. Later they will not be so wide open... His eyelashes will cover half of them to conceal the excessive wickedness which is in the world, from the Pure and Holy One. Only when working miracles they will be open and bright, even brighter than now... to cast out demons and death, to heal diseases and sins. And they will no longer have that sparkle of happiness mingled with seri­ ousness... death and sin will be more and more present and close, and with them the knowledge, also the human knowledge of the uselessness of His sacrifice, because of the unwillingness and aversion of man. Only in the rarest moments of joy, when He is with faithful believers and particularly with pure people, mostly children, will His holy mild kind eyes shine again with happi­ ness. 253

39. 5But now He is at home with His Mother, in front of Him there is Saint Joseph who is smiling lovingly, and there are His little cousins who admire Him, and His aunt Mary of Alphaeus who is patting Him... He is happy. My Jesus needs love to be happy. And in this moment He has it. He is dressed in a loose woollen tunic which is a light ruby red colour. It is soft, perfectly woven in its compact thinness. Round the neck, in the front, at the ends of the long wide sleeves and at the bottom of the tunic which hangs down to the ground, so that only His feet can be seen, there is a Greek fret which is not embroidered, but woven in a darker colour into the ruby of the tunic. He is wearing new sandals which appear to be very well made, they are not just the usual soles tied to the feet by means of straps of leather. His tunic must be the work of His Mother be­ cause Her sister-in-law admires and praises it. His lovely blond hair is already somewhat darker than when He was a little boy, with auburn reflections in the curls end­ ing under His ears. They are no longer the soft graceful curls of His childhood. It is not yet the wavy long hair of His manhood, reaching down to His shoulders, ending there in a soft, big curl. But it already resembles more the latter in its colour and style. 5«Here is our Son,» says Mary lifting Her right hand which is holding Jesus' left one. She seems to be introducing Him to everybody and confirming the paternity of the Just man who is smiling. And She adds: «Bless Him, Joseph, before leaving for Je­ rusalem. There was no ritual blessing for His first step in life, be­ cause it was not necessary for Him to go to school. But now that He is going to the Temple to be proclaimed of age, please bless Him. And bless Me with Him. Your blessing... » (Mary sobs soft­ ly) «will fortify Him and give Me strength, to detach Myself a lit­ tle more from Him... » «Mary, Jesus will always be Yours. The formality will not af­ fect our mutual relationship. Neither will I contend with You for this Son, so dear to us. No one deserves, as You do, to guide Him in life, o my Holy Spouse. » Mary bends down and takes Joseph's hand and kisses it. She is the respectful, loving spouse of Her consort! Joseph receives the sign of respect and love with dignity, he then lifts the hand which She has kissed and lays it on the head of 254

his Spouse and says to Her: «Yes. I bless You, o Blessed One, and I bless Jesus with You. Come to me, my only joys, my honour and essence of my life. » Joseph is solemn. With his arms stretched out and the palms of his hands turned down above the two heads which are bent down, both equally blond and holy, he pronounc­ es his blessing: «May the Lord look upon You and bless You. May He have mercy on You and give You peace. May the Lord give You His blessing. » And then he says: «And now let us go. The hour is favourable for the journey. » 6Mary takes a wide dark brown mantle and She drapes it on the body of Her Son. How She caresses Him in doing so! They go out, they close up the house. They set off. Other pil­ grims are going in the same direction. Outside the village the women separate from the men. The children go where they like. Jesus stays with His Mother. The pilgrims go along through the country which is so beau­ tiful in the happiest springtime, and they sing psalms most of the time. The meadows are fresh and the crops are fresh, and the leaves on the trees have just begun to bloom. You can hear men singing in the fields along the roads and birds singing their songs of love among the branches of the trees. Clear streams reflect like mirrors the flowers on the banks, while little lambs are jumping about near their mothers... Peace and happiness under the loveli­ est April sky. The vision ends in this way. 40. Jesus' examination in the Temple at the age of twelve. 21st December 1944. 1The Temple on a feast day. People going in and coming out of the enclosure gates, crossing yards, halls and porches, disap­ pearing in this or that building on the various floors, which form the bulk of the Temple. Also the group of Jesus' family go in singing psalms in low voices. All the men are in front, the women come behind. Other people have joined them, perhaps from Nazareth, perhaps their friends in Jerusalem. I do not know. 39. 6 40. 1 255

40. 2 40. 3Joseph, after worshipping the Most High with all the others at the point, obviously, where men were allowed to do so, (the wom­ en stopped on a lower landing), parts from the rest and with his Son goes back through some yards, he then moves to one side and enters a vast room which looks like a synagogue. I do not know why. Were there synagogues also in the Temple? He speaks to a Levite and the latter disappears behind a striped curtain, then he comes back with some elder priests, I think they are priests, they are certainly masters in the knowledge of the Law, and they are therefore appointed to examine the believers. 2Joseph introduces Jesus. First of all, they both bow down deeply to the ten doctors, who have sat down with dignity on low wooden stools. «Here, » he says, «this in my Son. Three months and twelve days ago He reached the age which the Law pre­ scribes to come of age. And I want Him to comply with the pre­ scriptions of Israel. I would ask you to note that His constitution proves that He is no longer in His childhood or minor age. And I ask you to examine Him kindly and fairly, to judge that what I here, His father, have stated, is the truth. I have prepared Him for this hour and for this dignity of son of the Law. He knows the precepts, the traditions, the decisions, the customs of the fringes and the phylacteries, He knows how to say the daily prayers and blessings. Therefore, since He knows the Law in Itself and in its three branches of Halascia, Midrasc and Aggada, He can behave as a man. Therefore I wish to be free from the responsibilities of His actions and of His sins. From now on, He must be subject to the precepts and He must pay the penalty for His failures to­ wards them. Examine Him. » «We will. 3Come forward, Child. What is Your name? » «Jesus of Joseph, from Nazareth. » «A Nazarene... can You therefore read? » «Yes, rabbi, I can read the words which are written and those which are construed in the words themselves. » «What do you mean? » «I mean that I also understand the meaning of the allegory or of the symbol which is hidden under the appearance, as a pearl does not appear but it is inside an ugly closed shell. » «A clever answer and a very wise one. We seldom hear that on the lips of adults; in a child, and a Nazarene in addition!... » 256

The attention of the ten has been awakened. Their eyes do not miss for an instant the beautiful blond Child, Who is looking at them sure of Himself, without boldness, but also without fear. «You honour Your master, who, certainly, was deeply learned. » «The Wisdom of God was gathered in his just heart. » «But listen to that! You are a happy man, father of such a Son! » Joseph, who is at the end of the room, smiles and bows down. 4They give Jesus three different rolls saying: «Read the one closed with the golden ribbon. » Jesus opens the roll and reads. It is the Decalogue. But after the first few words, one of the judges takes the roll from Him say­ ing: «Go on by heart. » Jesus continues so sure of Himself, that He seems to be reading. Every time He mentions the Lord, He bows down deeply. «Who taught You that? Why do You do that? » «Because that Name is holy and it is to be pronounced with a sign of internal and external respect. Subjects bow down to their king, who is king only for a short time and he is dust. To the King of kings, the Most High Lord of Israel, Who is present even if He is only visible to the spirit, shall not every creature bow down since every creature depends on Him with eternal subjection? » «Very clever! Man: we advise you to have your Son educated either by Hillel or Gamaliel. He is a Nazarene... but His answers give us hope that He will become a new great doctor. » «My Son is of age. He will decide according to His own will. If His decision is an honest one, I will not oppose it. » 5«Listen, Child. You said: 'Remember to sanctify feast days. Not only for yourself, but also for your son and your daughter, your servant and your maidservant, even for your horse it is said that they must not work on Sabbaths'. Now tell me: if a hen lays an egg on a Sabbath or a sheep lambs on a Sabbath, will it be le­ gal to use the fruit of its womb, or will it be considered as an op­ probrium? » «I know that many rabbis, Shammai is the last of them and is still alive, say that an egg laid on a Sabbath is against the pre­ cept. But I think that there is a difference between man and ani­ mals or whoever fulfils a natural act, such as giving birth. If I compel a horse to work I am responsible for its sin, because I40. 4 40. 5 257

force it to work with a whip. But if a hen lays an egg which has matured in its ovary or a sheep lambs a little one on a Sabbath, because it is ready to be born, no, such a deed is not a sin, neither is the egg laid or the lamb born on a Sabbath a sin in the eyes of God. » «But why, if every kind of work is a sin on Sabbaths? » «Because to conceive and give birth correspond to the will of the Creator and comply with the laws which He gave to every creature. Now, the hen does nothing but obey the law according to which after so many hours of growth an egg is complete and ready to be laid, and the sheep also obeys the laws laid by Him Who created everything, according to which laws twice a year when springtime is on the meadows in bloom, and when the trees in the forest lose their leaves and men muffle themselves up be­ cause of the intense cold, sheep should mate so that later they may give milk, meat and nourishing cheese in the opposite sea­ sons of the year, that is in the months when the toil for the crops is harder or the bleakness is more painful because of frostbite. If therefore a sheep, when its time is up, gives birth to a little lamb, oh! the little lamb can certainly be sacred also on an altar, be­ cause it is the fruit of the obedience to the Creator. » 6«I would not examine Him any further. His wisdom is great­ er than the wisdom of grown up people and is really surprising. » «No. He said that He is capable of understanding also the symbols. Let us hear Him». «First, let Him say a psalm, the blessings and the prayers. » «Also the precepts. » «Yes. Repeat the Midrasciot. » Jesus repeats a long litany of «Don't do this... don't do that... » without any hesitation. If we were still obliged to keep all those limitations, rebels as we are, I am sure that no one would be saved... «That is enough. Open the roll with the green ribbon. » Jesus opens it, and He is about to read. «Further on, yes, further on. » Jesus obeys. «That is enough. Now read and explain it, if You think there is a symbol. » «In the Holy Word it is seldom missing. It is we who cannot see 25840. 6

and apply it. I read: Fourth Book of the Kings*, Chapter twenty- two, Verse ten: 'Then Shaphan, the secretary, informed the king saying: «Hilkiah, the High Priest, has given me a book», and Sha­ phan read it aloud in the king's presence. On hearing the contents of the Law of God, the king tore his garments, and gave the follow­ ing... '. » «Read after all the names. » «“... the following order: 'Go and enquire of the Lord for me and for the people and for all Judah about what is written in this book that has been found. Great is the Lord's wrath that burns against us because our ancestors did not obey the words of this book, they did not act in accordance with all that is written in it'... ”. » «That is enough. This happened many centuries ago. Which symbol do You find in an event of ancient history? » «I find that time cannot be related to what is eternal. And God is eternal and our soul is eternal, and the relation between God and our soul is also eternal. Therefore the thing that gave rise to a punishment then, is the same thing that gives rise to punishment now, and the effects of the fault are the same. » «That is? » «Israel is no longer acquainted with the Wisdom, which comes from God. It is to Him, and not to poor men, that we must apply for light, and it is not possible to have light if there is no justice and loyalty to God. That is why men sin, and God, in His anger, pun­ ishes them. » «We are no longer acquainted? But what are You saying, Child? And the six hundred and thirteen precepts? » «The precepts exist, but they are mere words. We know them but we do not practise them. That is why we are not acquainted with them. This is the symbol: every man, in every period of time, must consult the Lord to know His will and comply with it to avoid drawing His anger on himself. » 7«The Child is perfect. Not even the trap of the tricky question has upset Him in His reply. Let us take Him to the real synagogue. » They go into a larger and more splendid room. The first thing they do there is to shorten His hair. His big curls are picked up by Joseph. They then tighten His red tunic with a long band turned * Fourth Book of the Kings: corresponding, in the New Vulgate, to Second Kings 22: 13. 40. 7 259

several times round His waist, they tie some little strips to His forehead, arm and mantle. They fix them on with some sort of studs. They then sing psalms, and Joseph praises the Lord with a long prayer invoking all blessings on his Son. The ceremony is over. Jesus goes out with Joseph. They go back to where they came from, they join their male relatives, they buy and offer a lamb; then, with the slaughtered victim, they reach the women. Mary kisses Her Jesus. It seems She has not seen Him for years. She looks at Him, now that He is more manly in His clothes and in the style of His hair, She pats Him... They go out and it all ends here. 41. The dispute of Jesus in the Temple with the doctors. The agony of His Mother and the reply of Her Son. 28th January 1944. 1I see Jesus. He is an adolescent. He is dressed in a tunic which I think is made of white linen, and it reaches down to His feet. Over it, He is wearing a pale red rectangular piece of cloth. He is bare headed, His long hair reaches half way down His ears and it is somewhat darker in hue than when I saw Him as a child. He is a strong boy and very tall for His age, which is still relatively young, as is obvious from His countenance. He looks at me smiling and stretches His hands towards me. But His smile is already like the one I see in Him when He is a Man: mild but rather serious. He is by Himself. I do not see any­ thing else for the time being. He is leaning against a low wall on a minor road which is all uphill and downhill, littered with stones and has a ditch in the middle which in bad weather must turn in­ to a rivulet. But at present it is dry because the day is lovely. I also seem to be going near the low wall and I look around and down, as Jesus is doing. I see a group of houses irregular in formation. Some of the houses are tall, others are low, and they are scattered in all directions. They look like a handful of little white stones thrown down on dark soil: the comparison is poor, but a good one. The streets and the lanes are like veins in all that whiteness. Here and there I see some plants protruding from the 26041. 1

walls. Many are in bloom while others are already covered with new leaves. It must be springtime. On my left, there is a massive structure distributed, on three sets of terraces covered with buildings and towers and yards and porches. In the centre, the highest most solemn and rich building rises with its round domes, which shine in the sun as if they were covered with copper or gold. It is all enclosed by an embattled wall, the merlons of which are like those of a stronghold. A tower higher than the others, built over a rather narrow climbing road, commands a clear view of the huge building. It looks like a stern sentry. Jesus stares at the place. He then turns round, leans back once again against the wall, as He had done before and looks at a hillock which is in front of the building, a hillock crowded with houses at its base, while the rest of it is bare. I see that a street ends over there in an arch, beyond which there is nothing but a road paved with square stones, which are loose and uneven. They are not too large, not like the stones of the Roman consular roads: they resemble the classic stones of the old pavements in Viareg­ gio (I do not know whether there are any still left) but they are not joined together. A really rough road. Jesus' face becomes so serious that I look at the hillock endeavouring to find the cause of His sadness. But I do not see anything special. It is a bare hill­ ock and nothing else. Instead I lose Jesus because when I turn around, He is no longer there. And I fall asleep with that vision. 2... When I awake with its memory in my heart, after I have 41. 2 recovered some of my strength and my mind is at peace, because they are all asleep, I find myself in a place which I have nev­ er seen before. There are yards and fountains and porches and houses, or rather pavilions, because they look more like pavil­ ions than houses. There is a large crowd of people dressed in the ancient style of the Jews, and there is a lot of bawling. When I look around I realise I am inside the large building which Jesus was looking at, because I see the embattled wall surrounding it, the tower watching over it and the imposing building that rises in the centre, and around which there are beautiful and large porches, where many people are intent on activities. I understand that I am in the enclosure of the Temple in Je­ rusalem. I see Pharisees in long flowing dresses, priests dressed 261

in linen and wearing precious plates at the top of their chests and on their foreheads and with other sparkling points here and there on their varied robes, which are very wide and white, tied to their waists by precious belts. There are also others with few­ er decorations, but they must still belong to the sacerdotal caste and are surrounded by younger disciples. I realise that they are the doctors of the Law. 3Among all these people I am lost, because I do not know why or what I am doing there. I go near a group of doctors where they have just started a theological dispute. Many people do the same. Amongst the «doctors» there is a group headed by one whose name is Gamaliel and by another old and almost blind man who is supporting Gamaliel in the dispute. This man, whose name I hear is Hillel (I am writing it with an «h» because I hear an as­ piration at the beginning of the name) seems to be a teacher or relative of Gamaliel, because the latter treats him with familiar­ ity and respect at the same time. Gamaliel's group is more broad­ minded, whereas another group, and it is more numerous, is led by one whose name is Shammai, and is noticeable for its conserv­ ative, resentful intolerance the Gospel has clarified so well. Gamaliel, surrounded by a compact group of disciples, is speaking of the coming of the Messiah, and founding his obser­ vations on Daniel's prophecy, he states that the Messiah must have already been born, because the seventy prophesied weeks, from the time the decree of the reconstruction of the Temple was issued, expired some ten years before. Shammai opposes him stating that, if it is true that the Temple has been rebuilt, it is also true that the slavery of Israel has increased and the peace, which He Whom the prophets called «Prince of Peace» was to bring, is quite far from being in the world and in particular is far from Jerusalem. The town is in fact oppressed by an enemy who is so bold as to exert his domination inside the enclosure of the Tem­ ple, dominated by the Antonia Tower, full of Roman legionaries, ready to put down with their swords any riot that may break out for the independence of the country. The dispute, full of captious objections, is dragged on endless­ ly. All the doctors show off their learning, not so much to beat their opponents as to display themselves to the admiration of the listeners. Their aims are quite obvious. 26241. 3

4From the close group of the believers the clear voice of a boy 41. 4 is heard: «Gamaliel is right. » There is a stir in the crowd and in the group of doctors. They look for the interrupter. But it is not necessary to search for him, because he does not hide. He makes his way through the crowd and goes near the group of the «rabbis». I recognise my Jesus adolescent. He is sure of Himself and open-hearted, His eyes are sparkling with intelligence. «Who are You? », they ask Him. «I am a son of Israel, who has come to fulfil what the Law pre­ scribes. » His bold and frank reply is appreciated and it gains Him smiles of approval and favour. They take an interest in the young Israelite. «What is Your name? » «Jesus of Nazareth. » The feeling of benevolence fades away in Shammai's group. But Gamaliel, more benignly, continues his conversation with Hillel. It is indeed Gamaliel who with respect suggests to the old man: «Ask the boy something. » «On what do You base Your certainty? » asks Hillel. (I will now put the names in front of the replies for the sake of brevity and clarity. ) Jesus: «On the prophecy which cannot be wrong about the time and the signs which took place at the time it came true. It is true that Caesar dominates us, but the world and Palestine were in such peace when the seventy weeks expired, that it was pos­ sible for Caesar to order the census in his dominions. Had there been wars in the Empire and riots in Palestine, he would not have been able to do so. Just as that time was completed, so the other period of sixty-two weeks plus one from the completion of the Temple is also being completed, so that the Messiah may be anointed and the remainder of the prophecy may come true for the people who did not want Him. Can you doubt that? Do you not remember the star that was seen by the Wise Men from the East, which stopped over the sky in Bethlehem of Judah and that the prophecies and the visions, from Jacob onwards, indicate that place as the one destined as the birthplace of the Messiah, son of the son of Jacob's son, through David who was from Bethle­ 263

41. 5 41. 6hem? Do you not remember Balaam? A Star will be born of Ja­ cob'. The Wise Men from the East, whose purity and faith opened their eyes and ears, saw the Star and understood its Name: 'Mes­ siah', and they came to worship the Light that had descended in­ to the world. » 5Shammai, glaring at Him: «Do you mean that the Messiah was born in Bethlehem-Ephrathah at the time of the Star? » Jesus: «I do. » Shammai: «Then he no longer exists. Don't you know, Child, that Herod had all the born of woman, from one day up to the age of two years, slaughtered in Bethlehem and surroundings? You, Who are so wise in the Scriptures, must also know this: 'A voice is heard in Ramah... it is Rachel weeping for her children'. The valleys and the hills in Bethlehem, which gathered the tears of the dying Rachel, were left full of tears, and the mothers have wept again on their slaughtered children. Amongst them, there certainly was the Mother of the Messiah. » Jesus: «You are wrong, old man. The weeping of Rachel turned into a hosanna, because there, where she gave birth to 'the son of her sorrow', the new Rachel has given the world the Benjamin of the Heavenly Father, the Son of His right hand, Him Who is des­ tined to gather the people of God under His sceptre and free it from the most dreadful slavery. » Shammai: «How can that be, if He was killed? » Jesus: «Have you not read about Elijah? He was carried off by the chariot of fire. And could the Lord God not have saved his Emmanuel so that He might be the Messiah of his people? He, Who parted the sea in front of Moses, that Israel might walk on dry ground towards its land, could He not have sent His angels to save His Son, His Christ, from the ferocity of man? I solemnly tell you: the Christ is alive and is amongst you, and when His hour comes, He will show Himself in His power. » Jesus, in saying these words, which I have underlined, has a sharp sound in His voice which fills the air. His eyes are brighter than ever, and with the gesture of command and promise He stretches out His right arm and hand and lowers them as if He were swearing. He is a boy, but is as solemn as a man. 6Hillel: «Child, who taught you these words? » Jesus: «The Spirit of God. I have no human teacher. This is the 264

Word of the Lord Who speaks to you through My lips. » Hillel : «Come near us that I may see You, Child, and my hope may be revived by Your faith and my soul enlightened by the brightness of Yours. » And they make Jesus sit on a high stool between Gamaliel and Hillel and they give Him some rolls to read and explain. It is a proper examination. The people throng and listen. Jesus reads in His clear voice: «Be consoled, my people. Speak to the heart of Jerusalem and call to her that her time of service is ended... A voice cries in the wilderness: 'Prepare a way for the Lord... then the glory of the Lord shall be revealed... »' Shammai: «See that, Nazarene. It refers here to an ended slavery, but never before have we been slaves as we are now. And there is the mention of a precursor. Where is he? You are talking nonsense. » Jesus: «I tell you that the admonition of the Precursor should be addressed to you more than anyone else. To you and those like you. Otherwise you will not see the glory of the Lord, neither will you understand the word of God because meanness, pride and falsehood will prevent you from seeing and hearing. » Shammai: «How dare You speak to a master like that? » Jesus: «I speak thus. And thus I shall speak until My death, because above Me there are the interests of the Lord and the love for Truth of which I am the Son. And I add, rabbi, that the slavery of which the Prophet speaks, and of which I am speaking, is not the one you think, neither is the royalty the one you consider. On the contrary, by the merits of the Messiah, man will be made free from the slavery of Evil, which separates him from God, and the sign of Christ will be on the spirits, freed from every yoke and made subjects of the eternal kingdom. All the nations will bend their heads, o household of David, before the Shoot born of you and which will grow into a tree that covers the whole world and rises up to Heaven. And in Heaven and on the earth every mouth will praise His Name and bend its knee before the Anointed of God, the Prince of Peace, the Leader, before Him Who by giving Himself will fill with joy and nourishment every disheartened and famishing soul, before the Holy One Who will establish an alliance between Heaven and earth. Not like the Covenant made with the Elders of Israel when God led them out of Egypt, treat-265

41. 7ing them still as servants, but infusing a heavenly paternity into the souls of men with the Grace instilled once again by the merits of the Redeemer, through Whom all good people will know the Lord and the Sanctuary of God will no longer be demolished and destroyed. » Shammai: «Do not blaspheme, Child! Remember Daniel. He states that after the death of Christ, the Temple and the Town will be destroyed by a people and a leader who will come from afar. And You declare that the sanctuary of God will no longer be demolished! Respect the Prophets! » Jesus: «I solemnly tell you that there is Someone Who is above the Prophets, and you do not know Him and you will not know Him because you do not want to. And I tell you that what I said is true. The true Sanctuary will not be subject to death. But like its Sanctifier it will rise to eternal life and at the end of the world it will live in Heaven. » 7Hillel: «Listen to me, Child. Haggai says: '... The One Expec­ ted by the nations will come... great then shall be the glory of this house, and of this last one more than of the previous one'. Does he perhaps refer to the Sanctuary of which You are speaking? » Jesus: «Yes, master. That is what he means. Your honesty leads you towards the Light and I tell you: when the sacrifice of Christ is accomplished, you shall have peace because you are an Israel­ ite without wickedness. » Gamaliel: «Tell me, Jesus. How can the peace of which the Prophets speak be hoped for, if destruction is going to come to these people by war? Speak and enlighten me as well. » Jesus: «Do you not remember, master, what those said who were present on the night of Christ's birth? That the angels sang: 'Peace to men of goodwill' but these people are not of goodwill and will not have peace. They will not acknowledge their King, the Just Man, the Saviour, because they expect Him to be a king with human power, whereas He is the King of the spirit. They will not love Him, because they will not like what Christ preach­ es. Christ will not defeat their enemies with their chariots and their horses, He will instead defeat the enemies of the soul, who endeavour to imprison in hell the heart of man which was cre­ ated for the Lord. And this is not the victory Israel is expect­ ing from Him. Your King will come, Jerusalem, riding a 'don-266

key and a colt', that is, the just people of Israel and the Gentiles. But I tell you, that the colt will be more faithful to Him and will follow Him preceding the donkey and will grow in the ways of Truth and Life. Because of its evil will, Israel will lose its peace and suffer for centuries and will cause its King to suffer and will make Him the King of sorrow of Whom Isaiah speaks. » 8Shammai: «Your mouth tastes of milk and blasphemy at the same time, Nazarene. Tell me: where is the Precursor? When will we have him? » Jesus: «He is. Does not Malachi say: 'Here I am going to send My messenger to prepare the way before Me; and the Lord you are seeking will suddenly enter His Temple, and the angel of the Covenant Whom you are longing for'? Therefore the Precursor immediately precedes Christ. He already is, as Christ is. If years should elapse between him who prepares the ways for the Lord and Christ, all the ways would become obstructed and twisted again. God knows and arranges beforehand that the Precursor should precede the Master by one hour only. When you see this Precursor, you will be able to say: 'The mission of Christ is be­ ginning'. And I say to you: Christ will open many eyes and many ears when He comes this way. But He will not open yours or those of people like you, because you will be putting to death Him Who is bringing you Life. But when the Redeemer sits on His throne and on His altar, higher up than this Temple, higher than the Tabernacle enclosed in the Holy of the Holies, higher up than the Glory supported by the Cherubim, maledictions for the deicides and life for the Gentiles will flow from His thousands and thou­ sands of wounds, because He, o master who are unaware of it, is not, I repeat, is not the king of a human kingdom, but of a spiritu­ al Kingdom and His subjects will be only those who for His sake will learn to regenerate in the spirit and, like Jonah, after being born, will learn to be born again, on other shores: 'The shores of God', by means of a spiritual regeneration which will take place through Christ, Who will give humanity true Life. » 9Shammai and his followers: «This Nazarene is Satan! » Hillel and his followers: «No. This child is a Prophet of God. Stay with me, Child. My old age will transfuse what I know into Your knowledge and You will be Master of the people of God. » Jesus: «I solemnly tell you that if there were many like you,41. 8 41. 9 267

salvation would come to Israel. But My hour has not come. Voices from Heaven speak to Me and in solitude I must gather them un­ til My hour comes. Then with My lips and My blood I will speak to Jerusalem, and the destiny of Prophets stoned and killed by her, will also be My destiny. But above My life there is the Lord God, to Whom I submit Myself as a faithful servant, to make of Myself a stool for His glory, waiting that He will make the world a stool at the feet of Christ. Wait for Me in My hour. These stones shall hear My voice again and vibrate hearing My last word. Blessed are those who in that voice will have heard God and be­ lieved in Him because of it. To them Christ will give that king­ dom which your selfishness imagines to be a human one, where­ as it is a heavenly one and therefore I say: 'Here is Your servant, Lord, Who has come do to Your will. Let it be consummated, be­ cause I am eager to fulfil it'. » And here, with the vision of Jesus with His face burning with spiritual ardour and raised to Heaven, His arms stretched out, standing upright in the midst of the astonished doctors, the vi­ sion ends. (and it is 3:30 on the 29th) 29th January 1944. 10I have here two things to tell you and which will certainly be of interest to you. I had decided to write them as soon as I came out of my sopor. But as there is something more urgent, I will write them later. [... ] What I wanted to tell you at the beginning is this. Today you were asking me how I had been able to find out the names of Hillel, Gamaliel and of Shammai. It is the voice that I call «the second voice» which tells me these things. A voice even less audible than Jesus' and the voices of other people who dictate. These are voices, I have told you and I repeat it, which my spiritual hearing perceives as being identi­ cal to human voices. I hear them as kind or angry voices, strong or weak, joyful or sad, as if one spoke very close to me. The «sec­ ond voice», instead, is like a light, an intuition that speaks in my spirit. «In» not «to» my spirit. It is an indication. So, while I was approaching the group of the disputant par­ 26841. 10

ties and I did not know who was the illustrious personage who was disputing so heatedly beside an old man, this internal 'some­ thing' said to me: 'Gamaliel-Hillel'. Yes. First Gamaliel and then Hillel. I have no doubt about it. While I was wondering who they were, the internal monitor pointed out the third unpleasant individual to me, just as Gamaliel was calling him by name. And I was thus able to learn who was the man with the pharisaic ap­ pearance. [] 22nd February 1944. [... ] 11Jesus says: [] «Let us go back, far back. Let us go back to the Temple where I, a twelve year old boy, am disputing. Or rather, let us go back to the roads which take one to Jerusalem and from Jerusalem to the Temple. See Mary's distress when She realised, after the groups of men and women had gathered together, that I was not with Jo­ seph. She does not reproach Her spouse bitterly. Every woman would have done that. You do so for much less, forgetting that man is still the head of the family. But the pain that appears on Mary's face pierces Joseph's heart more than any bitter reproach. Mary does not give vent to dramatic outbursts. You do so for much less because you love to be noticed and pitied. But Her repressed sorrow is so obvious: She starts trembling, Her face turns pale, Her eyes are wide open and thus She arouses pity more than any outburst of tears and cries. She is no longer tired or hungry. And yet the journey was a long one and She has not taken any food for so many hours! But She leaves everything: the bed She was preparing and the food which was ready to be handed out. And She goes back. It is night, it is dark. It does not matter. Every step takes Her back to Jerusalem. She stops the caravans and pilgrims and questions them. Joseph follows Her and helps Her. A long day's walk back to Jerusalem and then the feverish search in town. Where, where can Her Jesus be? And by God's provision for 26941. 11

41. 12many hours She will not know where to look for Me. To look for a child in the Temple does not make sense. What could a child be do­ ing in the Temple? At the most, if he had got lost in town and his little steps had brought him back there, he would have cried for his mother and thus would have attracted the attention of people and of the priests, who would have taken the necessary steps to find the parents by means of announcements left at the gates. But there was no announcement. No one in town knew anything of this Child. Beautiful? Blond? Strong? There are so many like that! It is too lit­ tle to enable anyone to say: T saw Him. He was there or there'! 12Then, after three days, the symbol of three other days of fu­ ture anguish, Mary, exhausted, enters the Temple, walks along the yards and the halls. Nothing. She runs, the poor Mother, whenever She hears the voice of a child. Even the bleating of the lambs give Her the impression that She hears Her Creature weeping and look­ ing for Her. But Jesus is not weeping. He is teaching. All of a sud­ den, from beyond the barrier of a large group of people, She hears His voice saying: These stones will vibrate... ' She endeavours to make Her way through the crowd, and succeeds after much effort. There is Her Son, standing in the midst of the doctors with His arms stretched out. Mary is the Prudent Virgin. But this time anxiety overcomes prudence. It is a hurricane that demolishes everything. She runs to Her Son, embraces Him, lifting Him off the stool and putting Him down on the ground and She exclaims: 'Oh! Why have You done this to us? For three days we have been looking for You. Your Mum­ my is dying with pain, Son. Your father is exhausted with fatigue. Why, Jesus? ' You do not ask 'why' of Him Who knows. 'Why' He behaved in a certain way. You do not ask those with a vocation 'why' they leave everything to follow the voice of God. I was Wisdom and I knew. I was 'called' to a mission and I was fulfilling it. Above the earthly father and mother there is God, the Divine Father. His interests are above ours, His affections are superior to everything else. And I tell My Mother. I finish teaching the doctors with the lesson to Mary, the Queen of doctors. And She has never forgotten it. The sun began to shine again in Her heart now that She had Me, humble and obedient, be­ side Her, but My words are deeply rooted in Her mind. There will 270

be much sunshine and many clouds will gather in the sky during the next twenty-one years I will still be on the earth. And great joys and many tears will alternate in Her heart during the next twenty-one years. But never again will She ask: 'My Son, why have You done this to us? ' Oh, insolent men, learn your lesson. 13I directed and enlightened the vision, because you, little John, 41. 13 are not able to do anything further. [... ]» 42. The death of Joseph. Jesus is the peace of those who suffer and of those who die. 5th February 1944, 1:30 p. m. 1This vision appears to me imperiously, while I am busy cor­ 42. 1 recting the copy-book, and precisely the dictation on pseudo-re­ ligions of present days. I will write it as I see it. I see the inside of a carpenter's workshop. It looks as if two of the walls are formed by rocks, as if the builders had taken advantage of natural grottos converting them into rooms of a house. Here the northern and western walls are indeed the rocky ones, whereas the other two walls, the southern and eastern ones, are plastered, just like ours. On the northern side, in the recess of the rock, they have built a rustic fireplace, on which there is a little pot with some paint or glue, I do not know exactly which. The wall there is so black that it seems to be covered with tar, because of the firewood that has been burnt there for many years. A hole in the wall, with a big large tile on top of it, takes the place of a chimney to let out the smoke. But it must have performed its duty very badly, because the other walls have also been blackened by the smoke, and even now there is a smoky mist all over the room. 2Jesus is working at a large carpentry bench. He is planing 42. 2 some boards which He then rests against the wall behind Him. He then takes a kind of stool, clamped on two sides by a vice, He frees it from the vice, and He looks to see whether the job is per­ fect, He examines it from every angle, He then goes to the chim­ ney, takes the little pot and stirs the contents with a little stick or 271

brush, I am not sure; I can only see the part protruding from the pot and which is like a little stick. Jesus is wearing a rather short tunic, the colour of which is dark hazelnut: the sleeves are rolled up to His elbows, and He is wearing a kind of apron on which He wipes His fingers after touching the little pot. He is by Himself. He works diligently, but peacefully. No abrupt or impatient movement. He is precise and constant in His work. Nothing annoys Him: neither a knot in the wood which will not be planed, nor a screwdriver (I think it is a screwdriver) which falls twice from the bench, nor the smoke floating in the room which must irritate His eyes. Now and again He raises His head and looks towards the southern wall, where there is a closed door, and He listens. At one point He opens a door which is on the eastern side and opens onto the road, and He looks out. I can see a small portion of the dusty little road. He seems to be waiting for someone. He then goes back to His work. He is not sad, but very serious. He closes the door again and goes back to work. 3While He is busy making something, which I think is part of a wheel, His Mother comes in. She comes in by the southern door. She rushes towards Jesus. She is dressed in dark blue and is bareheaded. Her simple tunic is held tight at Her waist by a cord of the same colour. She is worried when She calls Her Son, and leans with both Her hands on His arm in an attitude of prayer and sorrow. Jesus caresses Her, passing His arm over Her shoul­ der and comforts Her. He leaves His work, takes His apron off and goes out with Her. I suppose you would like to know the exact words they said. Very few were spoken by Mary: «Oh! Jesus! Come, come. He is very ill!» They are uttered with trembling lips and tears shining in Her reddened and tired eyes. Jesus says only: «Mother!», but that word means everything. They go into the adjoining room, full of bright sunshine com­ ing from a door open onto the little kitchen garden, which is also full of light and green, and where doves are fluttering around, near the clothes hanging out to dry and blowing in the wind. The room is poor but tidy. There is a low bed, covered with small mat­ tresses, (I say mattresses because they are thick and soft things, 27242. 3

but the bed is not like ours). Leaning on it, on many cushions, is Joseph. He is dying. It is obvious from the livid paleness of his face, his lifeless eyes, his panting chest, and the total relaxation of all his body. 4Mary goes to his left side, takes his wrinkled hand now livid near its nails, rubs it, caresses it, kisses it, She dries with a small piece of cloth the perspiration that forms shiny lines at his tem­ ples; She wipes a glassy tear in the corner of his eye; She mois­ tens his lips with a piece of linen dipped into a liquid which I think is white wine. Jesus goes to his right side. He quickly and carefully lifts the body which has sunk, He straightens him onto the cushions which He then adjusts together with Mary. He caresses the fore­ head of the dying man and endeavours to encourage him. Mary is weeping softly, without any noise, but She is weep­ ing. Her large tears run down Her pale cheeks, right down to Her dark blue dress, and they look like bright sapphires. Joseph recovers somewhat and stares at Jesus, he takes His hand as if he wanted to say something and also to receive strength, for the last trial, from the divine contact. Jesus bends over that hand and kisses it. Joseph smiles. He then turns around and with his eyes he looks for Mary and smiles also at Her. Mary kneels down near the bed endeavouring to smile. But She does not succeed and She bends Her head. Joseph lays his hand on Her head with a chaste caress that looks like a blessing. Only the fluttering and cooing of the doves, the rustling of the leaves, the warbling of the water can be heard outside, and the breathing of the dying man in the room. Jesus goes around the bed, takes a stool and makes Mary sit on it, once again calling Her simply: «Mother». He then goes back to His place and takes Joseph's hand into His own once again. The scene is so real that I can't help crying because of Mary's pain. 5Then Jesus bending over the dying man, whispers a psalm*. I know it is a psalm, but just now I cannot tell which one. It begins thus: «'Look after me, o Lord, because I hoped in You... In favour of his friends who live on his earth he has accom-* psalm : 16; 84; 85; 91; 112; 132. 42. 4 42. 5 273

plished all my wishes in a wonderful way... I will bless the Lord Who is my advisor. The Lord is always before me. He is on my right-hand side that I may not fall. Therefore my heart exults and my tongue rejoices and also my body will rest in hope. Because You will not abandon my soul in the dwelling place of the dead, neither will You allow Your friend to see corruption. You will reveal the path of light to me and will fill me with joy showing me Your face'. » Joseph cheers up a little and with a more lively look he smiles at Jesus and presses His fingers. Jesus replies to the smile with a smile of His own and to the pressure on His fingers with a caress. And still bending over His putative father, He goes on softly: «'How I love your Tabernacles, o Lord. My soul yearns and pines for the courts of the Lord. Also the sparrow has found a home and the little dove a nest for its young. I am longing for your Altars, Lord. Happy are those who live in Your house... happy is the man who finds his strength in You. He inspired into his heart the as­ cents from the valley of tears to the chosen place. O Lord hear my prayer... O God, turn Your eyes and look at the face of Your Anoint­ ed... '» Joseph, sobbing, looks at Jesus and makes an effort to speak as if to bless Him. But he cannot. He obviously understands, but he is impeded in his speech. But he is happy and looks at his Jesus with liveliness and trust. «'Oh! Lord»', goes on Jesus. «'You have favoured Your own country, You brought back the captives of Jacob... Show us, o Lord, Your mercy and bring us back Your Saviour. I want to listen to what the Lord is saying to me. He will cer­ tainly speak of peace to His people for His friends and for those who convert their hearts to Him. Yes, His saving help is near... and the glory will live in our country. Love and loyalty have now met, righteousness and peace have now embraced. Loyalty reaches up from the earth and righteousness leans down from Heaven. 274

Yes, the Lord Himself bestows happiness and our soil gives its harvest. Righteousness will always precede Him and will leave its footprints on the path'. You have seen that hour, father and you have worked for it. You have co-operated in the formation of this hour and the Lord will reward you for it. I am telling you, » adds Jesus, wiping a tear of joy which slowly runs down Joseph's cheek. He then resumes: «'O Lord, remember David and all his kindness. How he swore to the Lord: I will not enter my house, nor climb into the bed of my rest, nor allow my eyes to sleep, nor give rest to my eyelids, nor peace to my temples until I have found a place for the Lord, a home for the God of Jacob... Rise, o Lord and come to Your resting place, You and Your Ark of holiness (Mary understands, and She bursts into tears). May Your priests vest in virtue and Your devote shout for joy. For the sake of Your servant David, do not deprive us of the face of Your Anointed. The Lord swore to David and will remain true to His word: “I will put on your throne the fruit of your womb”. The Lord has chosen His home... I will make a horn sprout for David, I will prepare a lamp for My Anointed'. 6Thank you, My father on My behalf and on behalf of My 42. 6 Mother. You have been a Just father to Me and the Eternal Father chose you as the guardian of His Christ and of His Ark. You have been the lamp lit for Him and for the Fruit of the holy womb you have had a loving heart. Go in peace, father. Your Widow will not be helpless. God has arranged that She must not be alone. Go peacefully to your rest. I tell You. » Mary is crying with Her face bent down on the blankets (they look like mantles) stretched on Joseph's body, which is now get­ ting cold. Jesus hastens to comfort him because he is breathing with great difficulty and his eyes are growing dim once again. «'Happy is the man who fears the Lord and joyfully keeps His commandments... His righteousness will last forever. For the upright He shines like a lamp in the dark, He is merci­ ful, tender-hearted, virtuous... 275

The just man will be remembered forever. His justice is eter­ nal and his power will rise and become a glory... ' You, father, will have that glory. I will soon come to take you, with the Patriarchs who have preceded you, to the glory which is waiting for you. May your spirit rejoice in My word. 'He who lives in the shelter of the Most High, lives under the protection of the God of Heaven'. You live there, o father. 'He rescued me from the snares of fowlers and from rough words. He will cover you with His wings and under His feathers you will find shelter. His truth will protect you like a shield and you need not fear the terrors of night... No evil will come near you because He ordered His angels to guard you wherever you go. They will carry you with their hands so that you may not hurt your foot against stones. You will tread on lions and adders, you will trample on savage lions and dragons. Because you have hoped in the Lord, He says to you, o father, that He will free you and protect you. Because you have lifted your voice to Him, He will hear you, He will be with you in your last affliction, He will glorify you after this life, showing you His Salvation even now'. And in fu­ ture life, He will let you enter, because of the Saviour Who is now comforting you and Who very soon, oh! I repeat it, He will come very soon and hold you in His divine embrace and take you, at the head of all the Patriarchs, where the dwelling place has been prepared for the Just man of God who was My blessed father. Go before Me and tell the Patriarchs that the Saviour is in the world and the Kingdom of Heaven will soon be opened to them. Go, father. May My blessing accompany you. » 7Jesus has raised His voice to reach the heart of Joseph, who is sinking into the mists of death. His end is near. He is panting very painfully. Mary caresses him, Jesus sits on the edge of the little bed, embraces him and draws to Himself the dying man, who collapses, and passes away peacefully. The scene is full of a solemn peace. Jesus lays the Patriarch 27642. 7

down again and embraces Mary, Who at the last moment, bro­ ken-hearted, had gone near Jesus. 8Jesus says: 42. 8 «I exhort all wives who are tortured by pain, to imitate Mary in Her widowhood: to be united to Jesus. Those who think that Mary's heart did not suffer any afflic­ tions are mistaken. My Mother did suffer. Let that be known. She suffered in a holy way, because everything in Her was holy, but She suffered bitterly. Those who think that Mary did not love Joseph deeply, on­ ly because he was the spouse of Her soul and not of Her flesh, are also mistaken. Mary did love Joseph deeply, and She devoted thirty years of faithful life to him. Joseph was Her father, Her spouse, Her brother, Her friend, Her protector. Now She felt as lonely as the shoot of a vine when the tree to which it is tied is cut down. It was as if Her house had been struck by thunder. It was splitting. Before it was a unit in which the members supported one another. Now the main wall was miss­ ing and that was the first blow to the Family and a sign of the im­ pending parting of Her beloved Jesus. The will of the Eternal Father Who had asked Her to be a spouse and a Mother, was now imposing upon Her widowhood and separation from Her Creature. But Mary utters, shedding tears one of Her most sublime remarks: 'Yes. Yes, Lord, let it be done to Me according to Your word'. And to have enough strength for that hour, She drew close to Me. Mary was always united to God in the gravest hours of Her life: in the Temple, when She was asked to marry, at Nazareth when She was called to Maternity, again at Nazareth when shed­ ding the tears of a widow, at Nazareth in the dreadful separation of Her Son, on Calvary in the torture of seeing Me dying. 9Learn, you who are crying. Learn, you who are dying. Learn, 42. 9 you who are living to die. Endeavour to deserve the words I said to Joseph. They will be your peace in the struggle of death. Learn, you who are dying, to deserve to have Jesus near you, comforting you. And if you have not deserved it, dare just the same, and call Me near you. I will come. With My hands full of graces and con­ solation, My Heart full of forgiveness and love, My lips full of 277

42. 10 43. 1 43. 2words of absolution and encouragement. Death loses its bitterness if it takes place between My arms. Believe Me. I cannot abolish death, but I can make it sweet for those who die trusting in Me. Christ, on His Cross, said on behalf of you all: 'Father*, into Your hands I commit My spirit'. He said that in His agony, think­ ing of your agonies, your terrors, your errors, your fears, your desire for forgiveness. He said it with His Heart pierced by ex­ treme torture, before being pierced by the lance, a torture that was more spiritual than physical, so that the agonies of those who die thinking of Him might be relieved by the Lord and their spirits might pass from death to eternal Life, from sorrow to joy, forever. 10This, My little John, is your lesson for today. Be good and do not be afraid. My peace will always flow into you, through My words and through contemplation. Come. Just think that you are Joseph who has Jesus' chest as a cushion, and Mary as a nurse. Rest between us, like a child in his cradle. » 43. Conclusion to the hidden life. 10th June 1944. 1Mary says: «Before handing in these notebooks, I wish to add My blessing. Now, only if you wish so, with a little patience, you can have a complete collection of the private life of My Jesus. From the An­ nunciation to the moment that He leaves Nazareth to start His public life, you have not only the dictations, but also the illustra­ tion of the facts that accompanied the family life of Jesus. The infancy, childhood, adolescence and youth of my Son are only briefly mentioned in the vast picture of His life as described in the Gospels. There He is the Master. Here He is the Man. He is the God Who humiliates Himself for the sake of man. 2And He works miracles also in the humbleness of a common life. He works them in Me, because I feel that My soul reaches perfec­ tion by the contact with My Son Who is growing in My womb. He * Father, Luke 23:46 (609. 22). 278

works them in the house of Zacharias by sanctifying the Baptist, by helping the labour of Elizabeth and by giving speech and faith back to Zacharias. He works them in Joseph opening his spirit to the light of such a sublime truth which he could not understand by himself, although he was just. 3And after Me, Joseph is the most blessed by this shower of divine gifts. Consider how much progress he makes, I mean spiritual pro­ gress, from the moment he comes into My house to the moment of the flight into Egypt. At the beginning he was but a just man of his times. Then by successive steps, he becomes the just man of Christian times. He acquires faith in Christ and he relies so se­ curely on that faith that from the sentence he pronounced at the beginning of the journey from Nazareth to Bethlehem: 'What shall we do?', a sentence which reveals the whole man with his human fears and his human worries, he passes on to hope. In the grotto, before the birth, he says: 'It will be better tomorrow'. Jesus, Who is approaching already, fortifies him with this hope that is one of the most magnificent gifts of God. And from this hope, when he is sanctified by the contact with Jesus, he moves onto daring. He al­ ways wanted to be guided by Me because of the venerable respect he felt for Me. Now he deals with both spiritual and material mat­ ters, and as head of the Family, he decides when there is a decision to be taken. Not only, but in the painful hour of our flight, after those months of union with the Divine Son had filled him with ho­ liness, it is he who comforts My affliction and says to Me: 'Even if we should have nothing else, we shall always have everything, be­ cause we shall have Him'. 4My Jesus works His miracles of grace in the shepherds. The Angel goes where the shepherd is, whom a fleeting meeting with Me predisposes to Grace and leads him to Grace that he may be saved by It for eternal life. He works them wherever He passes, both when in exile and when He came back to His little country in Nazareth. Because wherever He was, holiness spread out like oil on a linen fabric and the perfume of flowers in the air, and whoever was affect­ ed, if he was not a demon, became eager for holiness. Wherever this eagerness is, there is the root of eternal life, because he who wants to be good will reach goodness and goodness leads to the Kingdom of God. 43. 3 43. 4 279

43. 5 43. 65You have now the holy Humanity of My Son, seen through de­ tails which reflect different moments, from the beginning to the end. And if Father M. deems it useful, he can collect the various episodes into a unit in an orderly way, without any gap. We could have given you everything in one lot. But Providence decided that it was better so. For your sake, My dear soul. With eve­ ry dictation we have given you the medicine for the wounds which were to be inflicted on you. We gave it to you in advance, in order to prepare you. During a hailstorm nothing seems capable of protect­ ing you. But it is not so. Humanity, which is sleeping buried under spiritual waters, is made to surface by the storm, which brings to the surface also the gems of a supernatural doctrine. Those gems had fallen into your hearts and are just waiting for the storm so that they may appear on the surface again and say to you: 'We are here as well. Do not forget us'. Further, My dear soul, this procedure was not only the design of Providence, it was also based on kindness. In your present de­ jection, how could you have watched certain visions and listened to certain dictations? They would have wounded you to the extent of making you unable to carry out your mission of 'mouthpiece'. So we gave them first, avoiding to break your heart, because we are kind, and we used visions and words suitable to your sufferings, so that your grief would not grow into torture. Because we are not cruel, Mary. And we always act so that you may receive solace from us, not dismay and increased sorrow. All we need is that you trust us. It is enough if you say with Joseph: 'If Jesus is left with me, I have everything' and we will come with heavenly gifts to comfort your spirits. 6I do not promise you human gifts or human comfort. I prom­ ise you the same consolations as Joseph had: supernatural ones. Because, everybody should know, the gifts of the Wise Men, in the dire necessities of poor refugees, vanished as fast as lightning when we purchased a home and the bare essential household im­ plements necessary for life, and the food which is also essential for life and could be procured only out of that source of income, until such time as we found work. Jewish communities have always helped one another. But the community gathered in Egypt was formed almost exclusively of persecuted refugees, who therefore were almost as poor as we, who 280

had come to join them. And a little share of that wealth, which we were anxious to keep for our Jesus when adult, and we had spared out of the expenses for settling in Egypt, was most useful for our return and just sufficient to reorganise our house and the work­ shop in Nazareth upon our return. Because times change, but hu­ man greed is always the same and it takes advantage of other peo­ ple's necessities to suck its part in the most exorbitant way. No. The fact that we had Jesus with us did not procure us any material wealth. Many amongst you expect that, when they are hardly united to Jesus. They forget what He said*: 'Set your hearts on things of the spirit'. All the rest is unnecessary. God provides also food. For men as well as for birds. Because He knows that you need food while your flesh is the tabernacle of your soul. But first of all ask for His grace. First of all ask for things for your spirit. The rest will be given to you in addition. All Joseph had from his union with Jesus, from a human point of view, were worries, fatigue, persecutions, starvation. He had nothing else. But as he aimed only at Jesus, all this was turned into spiritual peace and supernatural joy. I would like to take you to the point where My Spouse was when he said: 'Even if we should have nothing else, we shall always have everything, because we have Je­ sus'. 7I know, your heart is broken. I know, your mind is becoming 43. 7 obscured. I know, your life is wasting away. But, Mary!... Do you belong to Jesus? Do you want to belong to Him? Where, how did Jesus die? My dear child, weep, but persevere bravely. Martyrdom does not consist of the form of torture, but in the constancy with which the martyr endures it. Thus death from a weapon is mar­ tyrdom and likewise moral grief is martyrdom, if it is suffered for the same purpose. You are suffering for My Son's sake. Whatever you do for your brothers is still love for Jesus Who wants them to be saved. Thus your suffering is martyrdom. Persevere in it. Do not wish to do anything by yourself. The pressure of pain is too severe and thus it is not possible for you to have sufficient strength to be your own guide and control your human nature preventing it from weeping: all you need do is to let grief torture you without rebel­ ling against it. It is enough for you to say to Jesus: 'Help me! ' What * He said, in Matthew 6:33 (173. 7); Luke 12: 31 (276. 8). 281

you cannot do, He will do in you. Remain in Him, always in Him. Do not wish to come out of Him. If you do not want, you will not come out and even if your sorrow is so deep as to prevent you from seeing where you are, you will always be in Jesus. I bless you. Say with Me: 'Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit'. Let it always be your cry, until you will repeat it in Heaven. May the grace of the Lord always be with you. » 282

The first year of Public Life of Jesus. 44. Farewell to His Mother and departure from Nazareth. 9th February 1944, 9: 30 a. m. (begun during Holy Communion) 1I see the interior of the house in Nazareth: a room which looks 44. 1 like a dining room, where the members of the Family take their meals and rest during the day. It is a very small room with a plain rectangular table near a chest, which is set against one of the walls. The chest also serves as a seat. Near the other walls there is a loom and a stool, and there are two more stools with a kind of bookcase on top of which there are oil lamps and other objects. A door is open onto the kitchen garden. It must be almost evening, because only some faint sun-rays are visible in the upper foliage of a tall tree, which is beginning to grow verdant in its first leaves. Jesus is sitting at the table. He is eating and Mary is serving Him, coming and going from a little door, which leads into the room where there is a fireplace, the light of which can be seen through the half-open door. Two or three times Jesus tells Mary to sit down... and to eat with Him. But She does not want to, She shakes Her head, smil­ ing sadly. After serving some boiled vegetables as a first course, She brings in some roasted fish and then some rather soft cheese, like fresh cheese, round shaped, like the stones which can be seen in the beds of torrents, and some small dark olives. Some small, flat round loaves of bread-about the size of a plate-are already on the table. The bread is rather dark brown as if the bran had not been removed from the flour. In front of Jesus there is an am­ phora with water, and a goblet. He is eating in silence, looking at His Mother sadly but lovingly. It is very obvious that Mary is sad at heart. She comes and goes, purely to occupy Herself. Although it is still daylight, She 283

lights a lamp and puts it near Jesus, and while stretching out Her arm doing so, She subtly caresses Her Son's head. She then opens a nut-brown haversack, which I think is made of pure hand-wo­ ven wool, and therefore water-resistant, She searches inside it, goes out into the little kitchen garden, walks to the far end, where there is a kind of storeroom. She comes out with some rather withered apples which have certainly been preserved from the previous summer, and She puts them into the haversack. She then takes a loaf of bread and a piece of cheese and puts them also into the haversack, although Jesus remarks that He does not want them, as there is already enough food in the satchel. Mary then comes once again near the table, at the shorter side, on Jesus' left hand, and looks at Him eating. She looks at Him with love and adoration. Her face is paler than usual and seems aged by pain; Her eyes are ringed and thus seem bigger, an indi­ cation of tears already shed. They also seem clearer than normal, as if they were washed by the tears welling up within, ready to stream down Her face: two sorrowful tired eyes. 2Jesus, Who is eating slowly, evidently against His will, only to please His Mother, and is more pensive than usual, lifts His head and looks at Her. Their eyes meet and He notices that Hers are full of tears, and lowers His head to leave Her free to weep. He only takes Her slender hand which She is resting on the edge of the table. He takes it in His own left hand, lifts it to His cheek, rests His cheek on it and then rubs it against His face to feel the caress of the poor trembling little hand, which He kisses on its back with so much love and respect. I see Mary taking Her free hand, Her left one, to Her mouth, as if to stifle a sob, and She then wipes with Her fingers a big tear, which has fallen from Her eye and is streaming down Her face. Jesus carries on eating and Mary goes out quickly into the kitchen garden, where it is now almost dark, and She disappears. Jesus leans His left elbow on the table, rests His forehead on His hand, absorbed in thought. He stops eating. He then listens and gets up. He also goes out into the kitchen garden, and after looking around, He moves towards the right- hand side of the house, and through an opening in the rocky wall, He goes into what I recognise as the carpenter's workshop. It is now very tidy, without any boards or shavings lying about, and 28444. 2

also the fire is out. There is the large work bench, all the tools are laid aside, and there is nothing else. Mary is weeping, bent over the bench. She looks like a child. Her head is resting on Her folded left arm and She is crying si­ lently, but very grievously. Jesus enters quietly and approaches Her so softly, that She realises He is there only when He lays His hand on Her lowered head, calling Her «Mother! »: in His voice there is the sound of a gentle loving reproach. Mary lifts Her head and looks at Jesus through a veil of tears, and with both hands joined She leans on His right arm. Jesus wipes Her face with the hem of His large sleeve and then He em­ braces Her, clasping Her to His heart and kissing Her forehead. Jesus is majestic, He looks more manly than ever, whilst Mary looks more like a little girl, except for Her sorrow-stricken face. «Come, Mother» Jesus says to Her, and holding Her close to Himself with His right arm, He walks into the kitchen garden, where they sit down on a bench against the wall of the house. The kitchen garden is now silent and dark, apart from the moonlight and the light coming from the house. The night is serene. 3Jesus is speaking to Mary. At first I do not understand the words which are just whispered, and Mary nods Her head in as­ sent. Then I hear: «And get Your relatives to come. Don't stay here alone. I will be happier, Mother, and You know how I need peace of mind to fulfil My mission. You will not lack My love. I will come quite often and I will inform You in case I cannot come home when I am back in Galilee. Then You will come to Me, Mother. This hour was to come. It began when the Angel ap­ peared to You; it is now striking, and we must live it, Mother, must we not? After we have overcome the trial, we shall have peace and joy. First, we must cross this desert as our Ancestors did, before entering the Promised Land. But the Lord God will help us as He helped them. And He will grant us His help as a spiritual manna to nourish our souls in the difficult moment of the trial. Let us say the Our Father together... » Jesus and Mary stand up and they look up to Heaven: two living victims shining in the darkness. Jesus, slowly but with a clear voice, says the Lord's Prayer, Stressing the words. He emphasizes the words: «Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done» spacing the two sentences from the oth­44. 3 285

44. 4 44. 5 44. 6ers. He prays with His arms stretched out, not exactly crosswise, but as priests do when they say: «The Lord be with you». Mary's hands are joined. 4They then go back into the house, and Jesus, Whom I have never seen drink wine, pours some white wine into a goblet from an amphora on the bookcase and He puts it on the table. He then takes Mary by Her hand and makes Her sit beside Him and drink some of the wine, into which He dips a small slice of bread, which He gives Her to eat. His insistence is such that Mary yields. Je­ sus drinks the remaining wine. He then clasps His Mother to His side and holds Her thus close to His heart. Neither Jesus nor Mary was lying down as was customary in rich banquets in those times, but they were sitting at the table as we do. They are both silent, waiting. Mary caresses Jesus' right hand and His knees, Jesus pats Mary's arm and Her head. 5Then Jesus rises, and so does Mary. They embrace and kiss each other very fondly and repeatedly. They always seem to be on the point of separating and parting, but each time Mary embrac­ es Her Creature over and over again. She is Our Lady, but She is still a mother, a mother who must part from Her Son, and is fully aware of the final destination of His departure. Do not tell me that Mary did not suffer! Before I had some slight misgivings, now I do not believe it at all. Jesus takes His dark blue mantle, puts it on His shoulders, and pulls the hood on to His head. He arranges His haversack across His back, in order to be free when walking. Mary helps Him, and She delays endlessly in sorting His tunic, mantle and hood, ca­ ressing Him in the meantime. Jesus goes towards the door, after making a sign of blessing in the room. Mary follows Him and at the open door they kiss each other once again. 6The road is silent and solitary, white in the moonlight. Jesus starts walking away. He turns round twice to look at His Mother, Who is leaning against the doorpost, paler than the moon's rays, Her eyes sparkling with silent tears. Jesus moves farther and farther away along the narrow white road. Mary is still weeping against the doorpost. Then Jesus disappears round a bend of the road. His Evangelical journey, which will end on Golgotha, has just 286

begun. Mary goes into the house shedding tears and closes the door. She also has started Her journey which will take Her to Golgotha. And for us... 7Jesus says: «This is the fourth sorrow of Mary, Mother of God. The first was the presentation in the Temple; the second, the flight into Egypt; the third, the death of Joseph; the fourth, My separation from Her. As I knew the desire of your spiritual Father, yesterday even­ ing I told you that I will hasten the description of “our” sorrows, so that they may be known. But, as you see, some of My Moth­ er's had already been illustrated. I explained the flight before the Presentation, because it was necessary to do so on that day. I know. You understand and you will explain the reason to the Fa­ ther verbally. 8I have planned to alternate your contemplations and My con­ sequent clarifications with true and proper dictations to comfort you and your spirit, granting you the beatitude of seeing, and al­ so because in this way the difference in style between your com­ position and Mine will be obvious. Furthermore, with so many books dealing with Me and which after so many revisions, changes and fineries have become unre­ al, I want to give those who believe in Me a vision brought back to the truth of My mortal days. I am not diminished thereby, on the contrary I am made greater in My humbleness, which becomes substantial nourishment for you, to teach you to be humble and like Me, as I was a man like you and in My human life I bore the perfection of a God. I was to be your Model, and models must al­ ways be perfect. In the contemplations I will not keep a chronological or­ der corresponding to that of the Gospels. I will select the points which I find more useful on that day for you or for other people, following My own line of teaching and goodness. 9The lesson of the contemplation of My separation is addressed especially to those parents and children that God will call upon to renounce one another for the sake of a greater love. It also ap­ plies to all those who have to face a painful renouncement. How many such sorrowful situations you find in your lives!44. 7 44. 8 44. 9 287

They are thorns on the earth and they pierce your hearts, I know. But for those who accept them with resignation-mind, I am not saying “'for those who wish them and accept them with joy”, which is already perfection; I am saying: “with resignation”- they become eternal roses. But only few people resign themselves to accepting them. Like restive little donkeys, you kick back against the Father's will, and you jib, and you even try at times to hit good God with spiritual kicks and bites, that is, with rebel­ lion and blasphemy. 10And do not say: “I had but this good thing and God took it away. I had but this affection and God took it away! ”. Also Mary, a gentle woman, with perfect love, (because in the Virgin Full of Grace also affections and sensations were perfect), also Mary had but one good thing, and one love on the earth: Her Son. The only thing left to Her. Her parents had died a long time before. Joseph had died some years earlier. Only I was left to love Her and make Her feel She was not alone. Her relatives, because of Me, of Whose divine origin they were not aware, were somewhat hostile to Her, because they considered Her a mother incapable of imposing Herself on Her Son, Who did not behave according to good common sense and turned down marriage proposals which could bring prestige to the family, as well as material help. H er relatives reasoned according to common sense, to hu­ man sense — you call it good sense, but it is only human sense, that is selfishness — and they would have liked My life to com­ ply with their habits. After all, they were always afraid that one day they might get into trouble because of Me, as I had already dared express certain ideas which they considered too idealistic and thought they might irritate the Synagogue. Hebrew history was full of teachings on the fate of Prophets. The Prophet's mis­ sion was not an easy one, and often brought about death for the prophet and trouble for his kinsfolk. And there was always the fear that one day they might have to take care of My Mother. They were therefore irritated by the fact that She did not op­ pose Me in anything, on the contrary, She seemed to be in perpet­ ual adoration in front of Her Son. This conflict was to increase in the three years of My public life when it culminated with open reproaches every time they met Me in the midst of crowds and were ashamed of what they considered My mania for vexing the 28844. 10

powerful classes. And they reproached Me and My poor Mother! 11Mary was aware of the moods of Her relatives and was able to foresee their future tempers — they were not all like James, Judas and Simon or their mother Mary of Clopas — but although She knew what Her destiny was going to be during the three years of My public life, and was aware of Her destiny and Mine at the end of the three years, She did not fight back, as you do. She cried. And which mother would not have cried because of the sep­ aration from a son who loved her as I loved Mine, or because of the prospect of long days devoid of My presence in a solitary house, or because of the dreary outlook of a Son doomed to butt against the malice of guilty people who took vengeance for their guilt by offending the Blameless One to the extent of killing Him? She cried because She was the Co-Redeemer, and because She was the Mother of mankind who were being born once again to God. And She had to cry for all the mothers who are not able to turn their motherly sorrows into a crown of eternal glory. How many mothers there are in the world from whose arms death snatches their creatures! How many mothers there are whose sons are torn away from their sides by a supernatural will! As the Mother of all Christians, Mary cried for all Her daugh­ ters, and in Her sorrow of a bereft Mother, She cried for all Her sisters. And She cried for all Her sons, who, born of woman, were to become apostles of God or martyrs for God's sake, because of their loyalty to God or because of man's cruelty. 12My Blood and My Mother's tears are the mixture that forti­ fies those destined to a heroic fate, obliterates their imperfec­ tions and the sins they committed because of their weakness and, in addition to martyrdom, in whatever way suffered, it grants them the peace of God and then the glory of Heaven, if they suf­ fered for God. The missionary fathers find that mixture to be a flame that warms them in the regions covered with perpetual snow, and they find it to be a dew when the sun is scorching. Mary's tears originate from Her charity, and they gush out from Her heart of a lily. They therefore possess the fire of virginal Charity, the Spouse of Love, and the scented freshness of virginal Purity, like the drops of water which gather in the chalice of a lily on a dewy night. 44. 11 44. 12 289

44. 13Our mixture is found by those consecrated in the desert of a well understood monastic life: it is a desert because it only lives in communion with God, whilst all other affections fade away and become pure supernatural charity: towards relatives, friends, superiors and inferiors. It is found by those consecrated to God in the world, in the world that neither understands nor loves them, a desert also for them, as they live in it as if they were alone, so much are they misunderstood and mocked for My sake. Our mixture is found by My dear “victims”, because Mary is the first victim for Jesus' love, and with Her hands of a Mother and a Doctor, She gives Her followers Her tears which refreshen and urge to a greater sacrifice. Holy tears of My Mother! 13Mary prays. She does not object to praying because God had given Her sorrows. Remember that. She prays together with Je­ sus: She prays the Father: Ours and yours. The first “Our Father” was said in the kitchen garden in Naz­ areth to console Mary's pain, to offer “our” wills to the Eternal Father, when a period of greater and greater sacrifices was about to begin for us, culminating with the sacrifice of My life and My Mother's acceptance of the death of Her Son. And although we had nothing for which the Father should for­ give us, just out of humbleness, we, the Faultless Ones, begged the Father's pardon so that we might proceed worthily in our mission, after being forgiven and absolved of even a sigh. Be­ cause we wanted to teach you that the more you are in the grace of God, the more your mission is blessed and fruitful. We also wanted to teach you to respect God and be humble. Before God the Father, although a perfect Man and a perfect Woman, we felt we were nothing and we begged forgiveness. Exactly as we asked for our “daily bread”. Which was our bread? Oh! Not the bread made by the pure hands of Mary and baked in our little oven, for which I had so of­ ten prepared bundles of sticks and brushwood. Also that bread is necessary while man is on the earth. But “our” daily bread was to fulfil, day by day, our part of the mission: we begged God to grant us that everyday, because to fulfil the mission that God gives us is the joy of “our” day, isn't it, My little John? You also 290

say that a day is lost, as if it did not exist, if the Lord's bounty gives you a day without your mission of sorrow. 14Mary prays together with Jesus. It is Jesus Who justifies you, My children. It is I Who makes your prayers fruitful and agree­ able to the Father. I said*: “Anything you ask for from the Father, He will grant in My name”, and the Church enhances her prayers saying: “Through Jesus Christ Our Lord”. When you pray, be always united to Me. I will pray for you in a loud voice, drowning your human voices with My voice of Man- God. I will take your prayers in My pierced hands and I will raise them to the Father. They will thus become victims of infinite val­ ue. My voice, mingled with yours, will rise like a filial kiss to the Father and the purple of My wounds will make your prayers val­ uable ones. Be in Me if you want to have the Father in you, with you, for you. 15You ended the narration saying: “And for us... ” and you in­ tended to say: “for us who are so ungrateful to those Two Who have climbed Calvary for us”. You were quite right in writing those words. Add them every time I show you one of our sorrows. Let them be like the church bell that rings and calls men to med­ itate and repent. It is enough now. Rest. May peace be with you. » 45. Preaching of John the Baptist and the Baptism of Jesus. The divine manifestation. [... ] 3th February 1944, in the evening. 1I see a bare, flat country, without any villages or vegetation. There are no cultivated fields, but a few odd plants are growing here and there in clusters, like vegetable families, where the deep soil is less parched. Imagine that the arid waste land is on my right-hand side, with my back turned to the north, and the harsh area stretches southwards. On my left instead, I can see a river with very low banks, flowing slowly from north to south. The very slow flowing water * I said, in John 16: 23 (600. 26. 35). 44. 14 44. 15 45. 1 291

leads me to believe that there are no falls in the level of the riv­ erbed and that it flows in such a flat country as to form a depres­ sion. The movement of the water is just enough to avoid the for­ mation of marshes. The river is so shallow that the bottom can be seem I would say the water is a metre deep, or a metre and a half, at the most. It is as wide as the river Arno in the S. Minia­ to-Empoli area: about twenty metres. However, I am not good at estimating. And yet its colour is blue with a light green hue near the banks, where on the humid soil, there is a strip of thick green vegetation, very pleasant to look at: the sight of the stony, sandy bleakness of the ground lying before it, is instead, a very monoto­ nous one indeed. T he internal voice, which I told you I hear and tells me what I must take note of and know, is now warning me that I am look­ ing at the Jordan valley. I call it a valley, because that is the name used to indicate the place where a river flows, but here it is incor­ rect to call it so, because a valley presumes the presence of moun­ tains, but I do not see any mountains in the neighbourhood. In any case, I am near the Jordan, and the waste land on my right is the desert of Judah. If it is correct to call a desert a place where there are no hous­ es or man's works, it is not so according to our idea of a desert. There are none of the undulating sands of the desert, as we un­ derstand it, but only bare ground strewn with stones and rub­ ble, like alluvial grounds after a flood. There are hills in the dis­ tance. And yet, near the Jordan there is great peace, something spe­ cial and unusual, as one often feels on the shores of lake Trasi­ meno. It is a place that seems to be full of memories of angels' flights and celestial voices. I cannot describe exactly what I feel. But I feel that I am in a place that communicates with my soul. 2While I am watching these things, I notice that the right bank of the Jordan (according to my position) is becoming crowded with people. There are many men dressed in different fashions. Some seem ordinary people, some rich, and there are some who appear to be Pharisees, because their tunics are adorned with fringes and braids. In the midst of them, standing on a rock, there is a man whom I recognise at once to be the Baptist, although it is the first time I 29245. 2

see him. He is speaking to the crowds, and I can assure you that his sermon is not a sweet one. Jesus called* James and John «the sons of thunder». Well then, what should we call this impetuous orator? John the Baptist deserves the names of thunderbolt, ava­ lanche, earthquake, so impetuous and severe he is in his speech and gestures. He is announcing the Messiah and exhorting the people to prepare their hearts for His coming, eradicating all obstruc­ tions and rectifying their thoughts. But it is a violent and harsh speech. The Precursor does not possess the light hand Jesus used to cure the wounds of hearts. He is a doctor who lays the wound bare, scrutinises it and cuts it mercilessly. 3While I am listening — I am not repeating the words, because they are related** by the Evangelists, but here they are amplified in impetuosity — I see my Jesus proceeding along a path, which is at the edge of the grassy shady strip coasting the Jordan. This rustic road (it is more a path than a road) seems to have been opened by the caravans and the people who throughout years and centuries passed along it to reach a point where it is easy to wade, because the water is very shallow. The path continues on the other side of the river and disappears from sight in the green strip of the other bank. Jesus is alone. He is walking slowly, coming forward, behind the Baptist. He approaches noiselessly and listens to the thun­ dering voice of the Penitent of the desert, as if He also were one of the many who came to John to be baptised and purified for, the coming of the Messiah. There is nothing to distinguish Jesus from the others. His clothes are those of common people, but He has the appearance and handsomeness of a gentleman. There is no divine sign discriminating Him from the crowd. But it would appear that John perceives a special spirituality emanate from Him. He turns around, and at once identifies the source of the emanation. He descends impulsively from the rocky pulpit and moves quickly towards Jesus, Who has stopped a few yards away from the crowd and is leaning against the trunk of a tree. 4Jesus and John stare at each other for a moment: Jesus, with * Jesus called, in Mark 3: 17 (330. 3 and 575. 8). ** related, in: Matthew 3: 1-12\ Mark 1: 1-8 ; Luke 3: 3-18 ; John 1: 19-34. 29345. 3 45. 4

His very sweet blue eyes; John with his very severe black flash­ ing ones. Seen from nearby, one is the antithesis of the other. They are both tall — their only resemblance — for all the rest, they differ immensely. Jesus is fair haired. His hair is long and tidy, His face is white ivory, His eyes blue, His garment simple, but majestic. John is hairy: his straight, black hair falls unevenly onto his shoulders, his sparse dark beard covers his face almost completely, but his cheeks, hollowed by fasting, are still notice­ able, his feverish eyes are black, his complexion is dark, tanned by the sun and weather-beaten, his body is covered with hairs, he is half-naked in his camel-hair garment, which is tied to his waist by a leather belt and covers his trunk, reaching down to his thin sides, whilst his right side is uncovered and bare, completely weather-beaten. They look like a savage and an angel, seen close together. J ohn, after scrutinising Him with his piercing eyes, exclaims: «Here is the Lamb of God. How is it that my Lord comes to me? » Jesus replies calmly: «To fulfil the penitential rite. » «Never, my Lord. I must come to You to be sanctified, and You are coming to me? » And Jesus, laying His hand on the head of John, who had bowed down in front of Him, replies: «Let it be done as I wish, that all justice may be fulfilled and your rite may become the be­ ginning of a higher mystery and men may be informed that the Victim is in the world. » 5John looks at Him with his eyes sweetened by tears and pre­ cedes Jesus towards the bank of the river. Jesus takes off His mantle and tunic, and is left with loin cloth. He then descends into the water, where there is John, who baptises Him, pouring on His head some water taken from the river by means of a cup, tied to his belt. It looks like a shell or a half pumpkin dried and emptied. J esus is really the Lamb. A Lamb in the whiteness of His flesh, in the modesty of His gestures, in the meekness of His appear­ ance. While Jesus climbs onto the bank and after putting on His clothes concentrates on praying, John points Him out to the crowd and testifies that he recognised Him by the sign that the 29445. 5

Spirit of God had shown him as an infallible means to identify the Redeemer. But I am enraptured in watching Jesus pray, and I can only see His bright figure against the green of the river bank. 4th February 1944. 6Jesus says: «John did not need any sign for himself. His soul, which had been presanctified in his mother's womb, possessed that pene­ tration of supernatural intelligence which all men would have had, if Adam had not sinned. If man had persevered in grace, innocence and loyalty to his Creator, he would have seen God through external appearance. Genesis states that God used to speak to the innocent man in an informal way, and that man did not faint hearing His voice, nei­ ther was he deceived in discerning it. Such was the destiny of man: to see and understand God exactly as a son does his father. Then man sinned and he no longer dared look at God, he was no longer able to see and understand God. And now he is less and less able to do so. But John, My cousin John, had been purified from fault when the Full of Grace lovingly embraced Elizabeth who, after being barren, had become pregnant. The little child had leapt out of joy in her womb because he felt the scales of sin falling from his soul, as a scab falls off a wound when the latter is healed. The Holy Spirit, Who had made Mary the Mother of the Saviour, started His mission of salvation on that child about to be born, through Mary, the living Tabernacle of Incarnate Salvation: the child was destined to be united to Me not so much by his blood, as by the mission by which we were like the lips that express a word. John was the lips, I the Word. He was the Precursor both in the Gos­ pel and in martyrdom; I, by means of My divine perfection, made perfect both the Gospel which John had started, and martyr­ dom, suffered to defend the Law of God. John did not need any sign. But a sign was necessary for the darkness of spirit of other people. On what would John base his statement, but on an undeniable proof evident to the eyes and ears of backward and dull listeners? 7Neither did I need to be baptised. But the wisdom of the Lord45. 6 45. 7 295

45. 8 45. 9had chosen that moment and way for our meeting. And leading John out of his cave in the desert and Me from My home, He unit­ ed us in that hour to open the Heavens above Me and He descend­ ed Himself, a divine Dove, on Him Who was to baptise men with that Dove, and His announcement was heard descending from Heaven, more powerful than the angel's, because it came from My Father: “This is My beloved Son, in Whom I am very pleased”. So that man should have no excuse or doubt in following or not following Me. 8The manifestations of Christ have been numerous. The first, after His Birth, was the Magi's, the second was in the Temple, the third on the banks of the Jordan. Then there was an endless number of them, which I will let you know, because My miracles are manifestations of My divine nature, down to the last ones: My Resurrection and Ascension into Heaven. My fatherland was full of My manifestations. Like seed scat­ tered to the four winds, they took place in every social condition and place in life: to shepherds, powerful people, scholars, scep­ tical men, sinners, priests, rulers, children, soldiers, Jews and Gentiles. And they take place even now. But, as in the past, the world does not accept. It does not accept the present manifestations and forgets the past ones. Well, I will not give up. I will repeat Myself to save you and to persuade you to have faith in Me. 9Do you know, Mary, what you are doing? Or rather, what I am doing, in showing you the Gospel? Making a stronger attempt to bring men to Me. You yearned for it with your fervent prayers. I will no longer confine Myself to words. They tire men and detach them. It is a fault, but it is so. I will have recourse to visions, also of My Gospel, and I will explain them to make them more attrac­ tive and clear. I give you the comfort of seeing them. I give everybody the possibility of wishing to know Me. And if it is of no avail, and like cruel children they should throw away the gift without un­ derstanding its value, you will be left with My present, and they with My indignation. I shall be able once again to repeat the old reproach: “We played for you and you would not dance; we sang laments and you would not weep”. But it does not matter. Let them, the inconvertible ones, heap 296

burning coals on their heads and let us turn to the little sheep seeking to become acquainted with their Shepherd. It is I, and you are the staff leading them to Me. » 10As you can see, I have hastened to add these details which, 45. 10 being trifling matters, had escaped my notice, and were wanted by you. [... ]. 46. Jesus tempted by Satan in the desert. How to overcome temptations. 24th February 1944. Thursday following Ash Wednesday. 1I see the solitary land which I already saw on my left-hand 46. 1 side in the vision of Jesus' baptism in the Jordan. But I must be some way inside the desert, because I neither see the beautiful, blue, slow flowing river, nor the green strips of vegetation which coast its banks and are nourished by its waters. There is noth­ ing here but solitude, stones and such a parched earth that it has become a yellowish dust, raised now and again by the wind in small swirls, which are so hot and dry that they seem like the breath of a feverish mouth. And they are very troublesome be­ cause of the dust penetrating nostrils and throats. There are a very few small thorny bushes, strangely surviving in so much desolation. They look like small forelocks of surviving hair on a bald head. Above, there is a merciless blue sky; below, arid land; around, stones and silence. That is what I see as far as nature is concerned. 2Leaning against a huge piece of overhanging rock which, be-46. 2 cause of its shape, forms a kind of a grotto, there is Jesus sitting on a stone that has been taken into the cave. That is how He pro­ tects Himself from the scorching sun. And my internal adviser informs me that the stone, on which He is now sitting, is also His kneeling-stool and pillow, when He takes a few hours rest, en­ veloped in His mantle, under a starry sky in the chill air of the night. Near Him there is the haversack which I saw Him take be­ fore departing from Nazareth. It is all He has. And from the way it is folded, I realise it has been emptied of the little food Mary had put into it. 297

46. 3 46. 4Jesus is very thin and pale. He is sitting with His elbows resting on His knees, His forearms forward, His hands joined and His fingers in­ terlaced. He is meditating. Now and again He looks up and around, then looks at the sun, al­ most perpendicular in the blue sky. Now and again, particularly after looking around and at the sun, He closes His eyes and leans on the rock sheltering Him, as if He were seized by dizziness. 3I see Satan's ugly face appear. He does not show himself in the features we imagine him: horns, tail etc. He looks like a bedouin enveloped in his robe and in a large mantle that re­ sembles a domino. He is wearing a turban on his head and its white flaps fall along his cheeks, down to his shoulders protect­ ing them. Thus only a very small dark triangle of his face can be seen, with thin, sinuous lips, very black hollow eyes, full of mag­ netic flashes. Two eyes that penetrate and read into the bottom of your heart, but in which you can read nothing, or one word only: mystery. The very opposite of Jesus' eyes, also so magnetic and fascinating, which read in your heart, but in which you can also read that in His heart there is love and bounty for you. Jesus' eyes caress your soul. Satan's are like a double dagger that stabs and burns you. 4He approaches Jesus: «Are you alone? » Jesus looks at him, but does not reply. «How did You happen to be here? Did You get lost? » Jesus looks at him again and is silent. «If I had water in my flask, I would give You some. But I have none myself. My horse died, and I am now going on foot to the ford. I will get a drink there and I will find someone who will give me some bread. I know the road. Come with me. I'll take You there. » Jesus does not even look at him. «You are not answering? Do You know that if You stay here, You will die? The wind is already beginning to blow. There will be a storm. Come. » Jesus clenches His hands in silent prayer. «Ah! It is You, then? I have been looking for You for such a long time! And I have been watching You for so long. Since You were baptised. Are You calling the Eternal? He is far away. You are 298

now on the earth, in the midst of men. And I reign over men. And yet, I feel sorry for You, and I want to help You, because You are so good, and You have come to sacrifice Yourself for nothing. Men will hate You because of Your goodness. They understand noth­ ing but gold, food and pleasure. Sacrifice, sorrow, obedience are words more arid for them than the land around us here. They are more arid than this dust. Only snakes can hide here, waiting to bite, and jackals waiting to tear to pieces. Come with me. It is not worthwhile suffering for them. I know them better than You do. » Satan has sat down in front of Jesus and he scrutinises Him with his dreadful eyes and smiles at Him with his snakelike mouth. Jesus is always silent and is praying mentally. 5«You don't trust me. You are wrong. I am the wisdom of the 46. 5 earth. I can be Your teacher and show You how to triumph. See, the important thing is to triumph. Then, once we have imposed ourselves and we have enchanted the world, then we can take them wherever we want. But first, we must be as they wish us to be. Like them. We must allure them, making them believe that we admire them and follow their thoughts. You are young and handsome. Start with a woman. One must always start from her. I made a mistake inducing her to be dis­ obedient. I should have advised her differently. I would have turned her into a better instrument, and I would have beaten God. I was in a hurry. But You! I will teach You, because one day I looked at You with angelical joy and a fraction of that love is still left in me, but You must listen to me, and make use of my experi­ ence. Find yourself a woman. Where you do not succeed, she will. You are the new Adam: You must have Your Eve. In any case, how can You understand and heal the diseases of the senses, if You do not know what they are? Don't You know that is where the seed is, from which the tree of greediness and arrogance sprouts? Why do men want to reign? Why do they want to be rich and powerful? To possess woman. She is like a lark. She will be attracted only by something sparkling. Gold and power are the two sides of the mirror that draw woman, and are the causes of evil in the world. Look: in a thousand different crimes, there are at least nine hundred that take root in the lust of pos­ sessing a woman or in the passion of a woman, burning with a desire that man has not yet satisfied, or can no longer satisfy. Go 299

46. 6 46. 7to a woman if You want to know what life is. And only then You will be able to cure and heal the diseases of mankind. Women, You know, are beautiful! There is nothing nicer in the world. Man has brains and strength. But woman! Her thought is a perfume, her touch is the caress of flowers, her grace is like wine, pleasant to drink, her weakness is like a handful of silk, or the curl of a child in a man's hand, her caress is a strength which is poured over our own strength, and inflames it. Sorrow, fatigue, worries are forgotten when we lie near a woman, and she is in our arms like a bunch of flowers. 6But what a fool I am! You are hungry and I am talking to You of women. Your energy is exhausted. That is why that fragrance of the earth, that flower of creation, the fruit that gives and ex­ cites love, seems without any value to You. But look at these stones. How round and smooth they look, gilded by the setting sun! Don't they look like loaves? Since You are the Son of God, all You have to say is: “I want” and they will become sweet-smell­ ing bread, just like the loaves housewives are now taking out of their ovens, for the supper of their families. And these arid aca­ cias, if You only wish so, will they not be filled with sweet fruit and dates as sweet as honey? Eat Your fill, Son of God. You are the Master of the earth. The earth is bowing down to put itself at Your feet and appease Your hunger. Don't You see that You are turning pale and unsteady at the mention of bread. Poor Jesus! Are You so weak that You cannot even perform a miracle? Shall I perform it for You? I am not Your equal, but I can do something. I will do without any strength for a whole year, I will gather it altogether, but I want to serve You because You are good, and I always remember that You are my God, even if now I have forfeited calling You so. Help me with Your prayers, that I may... » «Be quiet! “Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God”. » The devil starts with anger. He grinds his teeth and clenches his fists. But he controls himself and turns his grinding into a smile. «I understand. You are above the necessities of the earth and You are disgusted at making use of me. I deserved it. 7But come, then, and see what there is in the House of God. You will see how 300

even priests do not refuse to come to a compromise between the spirit and the flesh. After all, they are men and not angels. Work a spiritual miracle. I will take You up to the pinnacle of the Temple and You will undergo a transfiguration and become most hand­ some. You will then call the cohorts of angels and will tell them to form a footrest for Your feet with their interlaced wings, and to let You down, thus, into the main yard. So that people may see You, and remember that God exists. One must show oneself now and again, because man's memory is so weak, especially with re­ gard to spiritual matters. You can imagine how happy the angels will be in forming a protection for Your feet and a ladder for You to descend! » «It is said: “You must not put the Lord your God to the test”. » «You understand that Your apparition would not change any­ thing and the Temple would continue to be a market full of cor­ ruption. Your divine wisdom is aware that the hearts of the mi­ nisters of the Temple are nests of vipers that tear and are torn to pieces for the sake of prevailing. They are subdued only by hu­ man power. 8Well, then, come. Adore me. I will give You the earth. Alex­ 46. 8 ander, Cyrus, Caesar, all the great rulers, past or present, will be like the leaders of miserable caravans as compared with You, as You shall have the kingdoms of the world under Your sceptre. And with the kingdoms, all the wealth, all the beautiful things on earth, women, horses, armies and temples. You will be able to raise Your Sign everywhere when You are the King of kings and the Lord of the world. You will then be obeyed and respected both by the people and by the priesthood. All classes will honour and serve You, because You will be the Powerful One, the Only One, the Lord. Adore me for one moment only! Appease this thirst of mine for being worshipped! It ruined me, but it is still left in me, and I am parched by it. The flames of hell are like a fresh morning breeze as compared to this fierce ardour burning inside me. It is my hell, this thirst. One moment, one moment only, Christ. You are so good! One moment of joy for the eternally Tortured One! Let me feel, what it is like to be god, and I will be a devoted, obe­ dient servant for all Your life and all Your enterprises. One in­ stant, one instant only, and I will no longer torture You! » 301

46. 9 46. 10 46. 11And Satan falls on his knees, imploring. 9Jesus, instead, stands up. He has lost weight because of the long days of fast, and He now looks taller. His face is terribly se­ vere and strong. His eyes are two burning sapphires. His voice is like thunder: it reverberates in the cave of the huge stone, and spreads over the stony, desolate plain when He cries: «Go away, Satan. It is written: “You must worship the Lord your God, and serve Him alone”. » Satan, with a cry of fearful torture and indescribable hatred, springs to his feet, a dreadful sight in his furious, smoky figure. And he disappears with a last cursing yell. 10Jesus is tired, and sits down, leaning back with His head resting on the stone. He looks exhausted. He is perspiring. But angels come to blow gently with their wings in the closeness of the cave, thus purifying and refreshing the air. Jesus opens His eyes, and smiles. I do not see Him eat. I would say that He is nour­ ished by the aroma of Paradise and is reinvigorated by it. The sun has set in the west. He takes His empty haversack and in the company of the angels who, flying above His head emit a mild light while it is getting dark very rapidly, He starts walk­ ing eastwards, or rather north-eastwards. He has resumed His usual expression, His step is steady. The only remaining sign of His long fast is a more ascetic look on His pale, thin face and in His eyes, enraptured in a joy which does not belong to this world. 11Jesus says: «Yesterday you had no strength, which is My will, and you were, therefore, half-alive. I let your body rest and I made you fast the only way which is burdensome to you: depriving you of My word. Poor Mary! You kept Ash Wednesday. You tasted an ashen flavour in everything because you were without your Mas­ ter. I did not let you perceive Me, but I was there. This morning, as our anxiety is mutual, when you were half asleep, I whispered to you: “Agnus Dei qui tollis peccata mun­ di, dona nobis pacem” and I made you repeat it many times and I repeated it to you many times. You thought that I was going to speak about that. No. First there is the subject which I showed you and upon which I will comment for you. Then this evening I will illustrate this other one. 302

12As you have seen kindness is always Satan's disguise when 46. 12 he presents himself. He looks like an ordinary person. If souls are careful, and above all, if they are in spiritual contact with God, they perceive the warning that makes them cautious and prepares them to fight the devil's snares. But if souls are dis­ tracted, separated from God by an overwhelming sensuality, and are not assisted by prayer, which joins them to God and pours strength into the hearts of men, then they seldom per­ ceive the snares hidden under the innocent appearance and they fall into the trap. It is then very difficult for them to free them­ selves. 13The two most common means adopted by Satan to conquer 46. 13 souls are sensuality and gluttony. He always starts from materi­ al things. Once he has dismantled and subdued the material side, he attacks the spiritual part. First the morals: thoughts with their pride and greed; then the spirit, obliterating not only its love — which no longer ex­ ists when man replaces divine love with other human loves — but also the fear of God. Then man surrenders his body and soul to Satan, only for the sake of enjoying what he wants, and enjoying it more and more. 14You saw how I behaved. Silence and prayer. Silence. Because 46. 14 if Satan performs his work of a seducer and comes close to us, we must put up with the situation without any foolish impatience or cowardly fears. We must react with resolution to his presence, and with prayer to his allurements. It is useless to debate with Satan. He would win, because he is strong in his dialectics. Only God can beat him. And so you must have recourse to God, that He may speak for you, through you. You must show Satan that Name and that Sign, not so much writ­ ten on paper or engraved on wood, but written and engraved in your hearts. My Name, My Sign. You should answer back to Sa­ tan, using the word of God*, only when he insinuates that he is like God. He cannot bear that. 15Then after the struggle, there comes victory and the angels 46. 15 serve and defend the winner from Satan's hatred. They restore him with celestial dews, with the Grace that they pour with full * word of God: which Jesus has taken from Deuteronomy 6: 13. 16; 8: 3. 303